Israeli Model

How an intercontinental flight changed my life.

I was a typical non-observant Israeli, working as an actor and model in Tel Aviv, and enjoying the good life. So when I got an offer of a flight and a chance to participate in an advertisement to be filmed in New York, I couldn’t turn it down.

This was to be my first time in the “Big Apple" and I had just finished drama school. Life could not have been better.

The last thing I wanted was to sit next to a Chasidic woman from Brooklyn, a mother of 13 returning from a leadership seminar at Aish in Jerusalem. As soon as I realized that I was going to have to spend the next 11 hours with a "fanatic" who wouldn't even want me to breathe in her direction, I turned to her and said, "Lady, this is my first trip to New York and I’m really excited, so don't expect this to be a quiet and restful flight. It's going to be a bit wild. I'm sorry."

Her quiet answer surprised me. "That's fine. I like happy people."

The last thing I wanted was to sit for 10 hours next to a Chasidic mother of 13.

I was not the least bit interested in anything to do with Judaism. As far as I was concerned, being a native Israeli was enough connection to my roots and my heritage. All the other details were irrelevant.

Yet something intrigued me. Mrs. Reifer was very open and accepting, and a small voice inside said, This is an opportunity to get answers to some of your questions. I found myself slowly bringing up topics that I always found intriguing, such as:

Why do so many observant Jews seem to live such an "isolated" life?

What is the idea of a yeshiva and why do these men study all day?

Is Judaism what God really wants from us? If He really wants me to be happy, then why burden me with all these laws from thousands of years ago?

Mrs. Reifer answered my questions patiently, gradually breaking down barriers and revealing a world that I never knew existed. It was a world which the Israeli media – newspapers, TV, Internet – portrays as irrelevant today – that it is impossible to know whether Judaism is credible, and that Judaism is based on religious coercion.

Mrs. Reifer’s most crushing answer came after I started mocking “the rite called Shabbat” – how Jews have to sit in the dark with two small challot, with a suffocating amount of "Don't do that!" and never to leave the house unless to go to synagogue I couldn't imagine anything more boring for Saturday – my special day to go to the beach, meet friends, and ride my motorcycle!

Mrs. Reifer was surprised. "Do you mean you've never actually experienced a Shabbat?"

"Like Shabbat as Shabbat?" I answered. "Like with those guys with the big black hats? Umm… no."

"So," she said, "you must come to my home for Shabbat."

Dramatic Comeback

Before we landed, after 10 hours of non-stop conversation, we exchanged phone numbers and made arrangements for me to spend Shabbat with her family. So a few weeks later, prior to my return to Israel, I “landed" in the orthodox enclave of Boro Park. To say that I experienced “the most amazing Shabbat” is a huge understatement. I asked dozens of questions that had been on my mind, and spent the whole day delving deeper into matters most important to my life.

I returned to Israel with the realization that I do not have the whole picture and that I must continue to search. Mrs. Reifer recommended that I check out Aish, overlooking the Western Wall in Jerusalem, as the ideal place to find answers to my questions.

I left Tel Aviv, the city that never sleeps, and made my way to Jerusalem, the heart of the Jewish people.

So I left Tel Aviv, the city that never sleeps, and made my way to Jerusalem, the heart of the Jewish people. Besides its wonderful location in the Old City, I discovered at Aish a bounty of information – not only about Jewish history, ethics, and Bible – but on issues of self-improvement and leadership development. Rabbi Noah Weinberg's zt”l teachings were especially impactful.

Each day of study strengthened and intensified my sense of pride in being a Jew. It was clear to me that I wanted to continue.

The idea that I can apply Torah wisdom to building a better future for the Jewish people, has made my studies even more meaningful.

Through Aish, I have been able to combine my vocation – drama – with musical and interactive programs for the many visitors who visit the Aish Center in Jerusalem. For me, this is the ideal way to utilize the profession which I have dreamed about my whole life, and to help break the barriers that prevent other Jews from understanding what Judaism is all about.

Day of Unity

I’m now looking forward to the next big event.

You've heard of walk-a-thons and bike-a-thons. Well, here's a breakthrough idea with a Jewish twist:

On Sunday, May 5, 2013, Aish will be holding its first international “Learn-a-thon” http://www.stayclassy.org/fundraise/team?ftid=22722. Instead of sponsoring me to run or walk, I will be joining hundreds of other Jewish students to study Torah for an entire day.

Thirty students at Aish Jerusalem have committed to a "learning marathon" – spending the entire 24-hour period without a break from Torah study!

The money raised will go toward scholarships for young men and women to study in Jerusalem – to connect with their Jewish heritage.

Aish has exposed me to a world that I may not otherwise have been fortunate enough to discover. It’s a never-ending process of self-advancement, to understand who I am and my place in the world, while working on character traits and developing feelings of responsibility and caring

Thankfully, you can join the fun and participate yourself at one of the dozens of locations worldwide. Or watch a LIVE HD stream of the Learn-a-Thon on www.aish.com – all day Sunday, May 5 – packed with speakers including Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau (Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv), Rabbi Jonathan Sacks (Chief Rabbi of England), Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky, and more popular speakers like Charlie Harary, Lori Palatnik, Ken Spiro and Motty Berger.

Through the Learn-a-thon and with your help, we hope to raise the funds to enable each and every Jew realize his or her potential.

So please open your hearts and help give others this opportunity.

The big day is Sunday, May 5. Together we can help bring unity to Israel and the world. Check out this website that explains everything: www.learnathon.org.

About the Author

Visitor Comments: 10

(6)
malkah robbins,
March 18, 2015 5:27 PM

would very much like to follow your interesting articles

(5)
Anonymous,
May 2, 2013 4:43 AM

I know Mrs. Reifer very well and have met Effi! They are both incredible people and we have a lot to learn from both a Chassidish woman who opens up her heart for the whole Klal Yisrael and an Israeli model who completely changed his life for Torah U'Mitzvos.

(4)
rayla salomon,
May 2, 2013 3:28 AM

I have met this guy. He is good looking but also real and freindly and sincere and you can tell he's just really working on himself

(3)
Anonymous,
May 1, 2013 5:46 PM

Lesson of this story

If Mrs. Reifer would have freaked out at the idea of sitting next to a man on the plane - as many women in Boro Park would have - Effi would not have this wonderful story to tell. There is a lesson to be learned here.

Diana,
May 2, 2013 3:15 PM

I agree with Lesson of this story

Once I was in a kosher store buying something and when I got to the cashier there was an orthodox girl of around 11 or 12 years old. I am a non-orthodox woman. She was buying some frozen french fries and I asked her if they were pre-cooked. She stared at me with a surprised look and did not answer. She had a look on her face like how dare I speak to her. So the cashier who is not Jewish answered my question. This girl made me feel like I committed a crime by speaking to her.
I work at an embassy and once the Ambassador went with one of the managers to rent an apartment for one of the diplomats. The owner was an orthodox Jewish man. When the Ambassador who is a woman went to shake his hand he immediately pulled away his arms behind his back and did not say a word. The manager knew of Jewish customs and quickly explained to the Ambassador why the man did that. She was very surprised by this man's reaction and had it not been for the explanation of the manager she would have been insulted. Why did this man not offer an explanation himself? Why do orthodox people act this way? It can't possibly be a Torah correct way to behave.
So it is good that Mrs Reifer acted normal with this gentleman.

Anonymous,
January 20, 2014 9:54 PM

to Diana

The girl might not have understood English. Many Chassidish girls only speak Yiddish...

So what are you up to now?? Are you still acting? I hope you will be able to combine your 2 worlds!! And please don't grow a beard....not that there's anything wrong with it.....

samm,
April 30, 2013 10:26 PM

Reply to Lisa

If there is nothing wrong in growing a beard why ar eyou asking him to not grow one? jIs it becuase you just don't like beards? Let him do what he wants.

Anonymous,
May 1, 2013 1:04 AM

So impressed!

I am impressed with both Mrs. Reifer for going out of her way to share her information about Judaism in a compelling way with the author AND inviting him for Shabbat, and also to the author for giving Judaism a real chance. It takes courage to try something you thought you knew wasn't for you. Our heritage is so full of wisdom and I only wish that other Jews could be moved to inquire as meaningfully as the author has. Kol haKavod!

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...