The Russian invasion of United States still underway

02.08.2014

A spokesman for the Department of Defense stated today, "that it is still believed, that the Russian invasion of the United States is still underway," although the spokesmen admitted that "the Russian tactics seem to be inscrutable," at this time, "which is typical and to be expected by the Russians."

Stuart Harrold

The invasion started roughly 2 years ago, and is a "very slow sort of invasion," a spokesman for the Pentagon announced. The invasion began, when two well made Russian aircraft landed in the United States loaded with food and supplies, as a relief effort from hurricane "Sandy" which hit the east coast of the United States during the late hurricane season. An actual photograph, of the curious Russian made aircraft above, is shown actually landing on the tarmac in the United States.

The spokesman for the Department of Defense stated that they were "surprised" that the Russians actually "had" such well made aircraft, and hoped that the aircraft would return to Russia safely. Meanwhile the United States Air force reported that the Russian aircraft were actually "tracked" by NORAD and they did indeed return to Russian soil at an undisclosed location.

Army Military Intelligence reported that once the food and supplies were "offloaded" from the Russian aircraft, it has disappeared. It was speculated that the food and supplies were sold on the black market. The army spokesman said, "The labels on the can food, written in Russian, may have been "more valuable" as souvenirs, to American citizens than American can food labels. When New York residents were asked what happened to the food and supplies they replied, "They did not recall."

The Pentagon believes that the Russian strategy hinges on any upcoming hurricanes whereby to continue their invasion of the United States, and that that is their "ulterior" motive. The National Weather Service has been required to alert the Department of Defense at their soonest convenience in order to predict any future Russian Aircraft activity. The National Weather service has stated, "We do not see a serious hurricane season due to variations in El Nino patterns."

Two days ago Raytheon approached congress and offered to build an advanced radar system up the entire East Coast of the United States in 5 separate states to detect incoming Russian aircraft after a hurricane. The cost projected was 1.7 trillion dollars and would take 8 years to build. Meanwhile the Secretary of Defense, Mr. Hegel, is reported to have said, "Internationally calling on a cell phone only costs .03 cents per minute. Perhaps, we could get the Russians to "call ahead" and save the budget."

At the United States Department of Defense, an analyst, working in Langley Virginia, for the Central Intelligence Agency, stated that the CIA believes that, "the Russians, are using an ancient Trojan Horse ploy of "bearing gifts" and that their "strategy" goes back to the Trojan War with the Greeks." The director of the CIA is reported to have said, "We can monitor the activity of the Russians, in our day to day expenses, without any further increase in our budget."

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