Dear @Santa: Is this really you on Twitter?

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I’m not even sure you still accept letters. I found you on Twitter and Facebook but I’m not sure it’s really you. I tried to text, but I think your service must be spotty at the North Pole. (If you did get it, yes, the “Yo Santa, S’up?” was me). Maybe you are still mad because I asked for some really mean things to be delivered to my x-husband a couple years ago. I’m sorry about that. (It’s not like reindeer aren’t making that stuff anyways and how many little plastic poop bags can you carry around with you all night)! Do you get a lot of letters from middle aged divorced moms? I don’t really need anything for myself. I’m good with all my children being happy, healthy and finally all living on this side of the ocean again. I know they’re adults now but there are just a few things they could use. Some of this may be a lot to ask. Even the Big Guy upstairs has not been able to help with all of it, but then he’s probably busy with his son’s birthday coming up and all.

Santa, for my oldest daughter, if you could do something about getting more legislation passed to help with her students loans. She’s so smart and works so hard and is about to finish graduate school. She would really appreciate any good word you could put in for her. For my son, he served in the military for six years and really believed them when they said there would be good jobs for the veterans when they returned. I know, the economy may be beyond your control but again, if you could just whisper in the ears of few folks in D.C. when you are dropping off presents in the middle of the night, I think it would really help.

My middle daughter, she’s doing well Santa but if you could help her out with Beverly. Beverly is her very, old, worn out car. If you could just give her a hand to keep it running a couple more winters while she finishes putting herself through school that would be a big help. My youngest daughter has signed up to volunteer in Ghana this spring. If you could just close Ghana please, that would be great but I know that might be selfish on my part. So instead, if you could help her find sponsors and keep her safe that would be the next best thing.

Santa, for my son-in-law, could you find him a job that he really loves that doesn’t require him to drive between states all week? I know that would make him very happy! His parents spent a lot of money on college for him and we would really like it if he could keep working in Maine! Finally, for my son “by luck rather than by birth” who is running a small business downtown. Can you please keep an eye out and make sure it continues to be successful. (Then again, he sells beer so it will probably continue to do well all on its own). In fact, stop by on your way through I’m sure he’ll give you one on the house, but remember you’re driving!

While I’m at it Santa, if you could keep my Mom healthy and give her a few more good years we’d all be very grateful. She worries a lot about her Social Security getting cut. Anything you can do to help with that? For the guy I’m dating, well if you could just bring him a big box of patience because . . . well you know me, Santa! One of my best friends needs a couple good knees and another is looking for a “silver-haired fox” just in case you run into anyone. Come to think of it, Santa, you are just the type. If Mrs. Claus ever gives you the old heave-ho, let me know! I have someone special for you!