Suicide in Judaism

This article discusses the general
topic of suicide from the perspective of Jewish law, not mental health. If you
or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please get help; call the
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 and/or speak to a mental
health professional. More resources can be found on their website.

In this article:

Introduction

The
prevalence of suicide in our society has been gradually rising.1 In fact,
according to recent data, suicide is one of the leading causes of death
among the ages of 10 and 34, second only to unintentional injury.2 From the
perspective of halachah, some of the
fundamental questions we need to answer are: What is the halachic/philosophical
objection to suicide? What are the halachic ramifications of one who commits
suicide? What are the halachic criteria for a death to be considered a suicide?
How do we address the many instances of suicide, individual and communal, that
occurred throughout our long, tragic history of persecution?

Nature of the Halachic
Prohibition

The
prohibition of suicide is based on a verse in Genesis: “And surely your blood
of your souls I will demand.”3 The Talmud
quotes Rabbi Eliezer, one of the great
Tannaic sages, who interprets this verse as meaning, “And surely from your
souls (‘from yourselves’) I will demand your blood (‘I will hold you liable for
taking your own life’).”4 So we know
that suicide is prohibited, but what is the rationale?

At
its heart, the rationale stems from the basic concept in Jewish thought that
one’s body is not his own property but a loan from G‑d; one has no autonomy
over his own body or the bodies of others.5
Based on this concept, just as one may not murder his fellow, one is similarly
forbidden from “murdering” himself. Indeed, Maimonides rules that one who
commits suicide is guilty of murder and will be held accountable in the
Heavenly Court.6

On a
more philosophical level, there are several other rationales that make suicide
a distinctly reprehensible act.7

To
begin with, one who commits suicide has by definition committed a sin without
any option for repentance. Furthermore, one’s death, in and of itself, can
achieve atonement, in some instances achieving atonement when Yom Kippur
cannot.8 By killing
oneself, one’s death becomes a sinful act9
rather than an atonement, and in a sense, one has “squandered” this opportunity.

In
addition, the act of suicide implies that one is declaring autonomy and
“playing G‑d,” so to speak, and is, therefore, an implicit rejection of G‑d’s
sovereignty. The act of suicide also intimates that one is denying that the soul
in fact lives on and will face judgment before the Heavenly court, thereby
implicitly repudiating the immortality of the soul.

Halachic Ramifications

Given
that suicide is considered such a reprehensible act, what are the halachic
ramifications for one who commits suicide? (Please note, we are referring to
one who has unequivocally committed suicide; as we’ll see later, there are a
number of criteria that must be met in order to characterize one as such.)

Maimonides
writes that when one commits suicide, we withhold all traditional rites and
rituals from him, such as mourning him or eulogizing him, but any rite or
ritual that is performed as an honor for the living is not withheld.10 Maimonides further implies that one who
commits suicide has no share in the World to Come.11

Burial in a Jewish Cemetery

With
respect to burial, the Jewish community does nevertheless ensure that the
suicide receives a burial.12 However, the
question often arises as to whether the suicide victim can be buried in a Jewish
cemetery. The classic halachic works do
not mention this restriction when discussing the laws of suicide.13

However,
there is a more general ruling mentioned in the Talmud that one does not bury a
“wicked” person near a “righteous” person.14
There are halachic experts who have applied this general ruling to suicides,
stating that insofar as this person’s death itself was an act of sin, we have
no choice but to consider him wicked and to apply this restriction.15 It should be
noted, though, that applying this restriction does not preclude a suicide from
being buried in the Jewish cemetery, it just mandates that he be buried at a
distance from others.16

Kaddish for Suicide

With
respect to saying the Kaddish prayer, Rabbi Moshe Sofer, a great 18th-century
European rabbi and halachic authority known as the Chatam Sofer, writes that
insofar as the Kaddish prayer elevates the soul of the departed, why would we
not say it for one who commits suicide? In his words, “Because he did not
behave as a Jew, should we not save him from the abyss? If he fell, should we
not raise him back up?”17 Rabbi Sofer
further writes that even though there is the opinion that we do not mourn for a
suicide, if the lack of mourning will result in unbearable shame for the
family, then the family may go through the traditional rites of mourning to be
spared the embarrassment.18

As
we’ll soon see, given the strict definition of suicide in halachah, it is quite rare for these harsh ramifications to be
implemented.

Halachic Definition of Suicide

How
does halachah define a suicide?
Maimonides writes that “one who [explicitly] states that he is ascending to the
roof [to jump], and then is seen immediately ascending to the roof in anger and
falling to his death, is assumed to have committed suicide.”19 A similar
phraseology is used in the Code of Jewish Law.20

Rabbi
Yechiel Epstein, one of the renowned halachic experts (poskim) of the 19th century, elaborates on this definition of
suicide in his classic work Aruch
HaShulchan. Rabbi Epstein writes that essentially only one who kills
himself while being of clear and sound mind, free from internal or external
coercion, is considered to have committed suicide. If, however, it’s possible
that there is another factor at play, such as extremes of fear, pain, distress
or mental illness, then it’s almost as though this person were “coerced” into
suicide, and it’s not considered a suicide of clear and sound mind. This does not
mean that misery is a valid excuse for suicide, only that, post facto, we do
not treat the deceased as a suicide.21

Additional
examples of extenuating circumstances in which the person is considered
“coerced” to commit suicide, as it were, are the fear that he would otherwise
be tempted to sin22 or a
misguided attempt to achieve atonement.23

What
arises from the writings of Rabbi Epstein and others is that essentially we
latch onto any rationale we can to avoid considering it a deliberate suicide in
the halachic sense. In other words,
it is not considered a true halachic
suicide as far as mourning and burial are concerned unless there is no other
theoretical alternative.

Based
on the circumstances of the death, there are three basic types of rationales we
can attempt to apply when considering whether it was, in fact, a suicide:

2) We know
for sure that this person killed himself, but there was some time lag between
his actions and his death, and therefore it’s possible he regretted his actions
before he died.25

3) We know
for sure that this person killed himself with immediacy; however, it’s possible
there was some compelling factor, such as extreme distress or a misconception,
“coercing” him to commit suicide.2627

Given
the extremely limited halachic definition of suicide, it is rare to find a situation where we cannot apply some rationale or another to preclude it from
being considered a suicide, and it is therefore rare to actually apply the
halachic ramifications discussed above. (Of course, the above discussion in no
way legitimizes or minimizes the fact that one may not take his own life.
Rather, we are determining how the action is to be perceived after the fact.)

Precedents in Jewish History

Armed
with these qualifying factors, we can better explore and understand the
multiple tragic accounts of suicide throughout our long history.

The
only explicit suicide mentioned in the Bible is that of the great King Saul, the first Jewish king.
While in battle with the Philistines and realizing that capture was imminent,
King Saul asks his arms-bearer to kill him. When the arms-bearer refuses, King
Saul grasps his sword and falls on it, killing
himself.28 According to many opinions, his behavior is
not condemned,29 and several
explanations are given as to why this is not considered a suicide. According to
one explanation, King Saul feared that if he were captured, the ensuing attempt
to liberate him would come at the cost of many lives.30

There
are multiple other stories in the Talmud of suicide; of those that are not
condemned, one of the extreme extenuating circumstances of either internal or
external coercion can often be applied. One example is the famous story of Chana and her seven sons, which
takes place during the Greek persecution during the Second Temple period.31 After her
sons are killed one after another when they refuse to abandon Torah, we are
told that she ascends to the roof and throws herself to her death. There, too,
the mental distress caused by the enormity of her grief would exclude this from
being considered a suicide in the halachic sense.32
Another example is the tragic saga of hundreds of Jewish children who are being
taken captive to Rome for purposes of prostitution. All commit suicide en
route.33 The early
Talmudic commentators suggest that their suicide was driven by their fear that
they would be tortured into sinning,34
and therefore it was not considered a suicide.

From
a different angle, there is the interesting anecdote related about a known
sinner in the Second Temple period who has a change of heart. To gain atonement
for his past ways, he creates an elaborate scheme to punish himself with all
four methods of capital punishment simultaneously35;
upon his death, his actions are implicitly condoned.36
What he did was forbidden. However, as discussed above, since his actions were
based on the misguided attempt to achieve atonement, this, too, would not be
considered a post-facto suicide in the halachic sense.37

During
the tragic years of the Crusades, Jews were often forced to convert to
Christianity under threat of torture or death. Many Jews chose to take their
own lives rather than face the prospect of succumbing and undergoing baptism;
indeed, there were even those who preemptively killed their loved ones as well to
prevent this outcome. With respect to those that took their own lives in this
setting, one of the most prominent Talmudists from that era, Rabbenu Yakov ben Meir Tam, known as
Rabbeinu Tam, ruled that if one suspects that he will be tortured into
apostasy, then it may indeed be a mitzvah to take one’s life.3839

Conclusion

In
summary, then, we have seen how halachah
considers suicide to be a most serious and reprehensible act, and how there are
several serious halachic
ramifications for one who does commit suicide.

On
the other hand, after the fact, it is rare for one who kills himself to truly
be considered a suicide due to the extensive factors discussed above, and it is
therefore rare that those ramifications are carried out.

As
above, suicide is never the right choice and categorically forbidden by Jewish
law. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please get help; call
the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 and/or speak to a
mental health professional.

May
G‑d bless us all with complete physical, mental, emotional and spiritual
health. In the words of the prophet Isaiah, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do
not be discouraged, for I am your G‑d. I will encourage you, I will also help
you, and I will support you with my righteous hand.”40

Thank you to Rabbi Avrohom Altein, Mrs. Bronya Shaffer, Rabbi Dr. Yosef Shagalow, and Rabbi Yehuda Shurpin for their assistance with this article.

Cited in Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Rotzeiach Ushemirat
Nefesh 1:4. See Igrot
Moshe, Yoreh Deah, part 5, siman 59, where he
discusses this concept with application to contemporary medical ethics.
This concept is the basis for the law that one is forbidden to give his friend
permission to strike him, embarrass him, or otherwise pain him (cited in the
Code of Jewish Law by Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, Hilchot Rotzeiach Ushemirat
Nefesh, siman 4).

As discussed previously, suicide is akin to
murder. This idea, that an act of atonement cannot atone if the act itself was
turned into a sin, parallels a more general concept in Jewish thought that “the
prosecutor cannot also become the defender.” The Rebbe suggests a similar
application of this concept with respect to Yom Kippur (namely, that even
according to the opinion that Yom Kippur can atone without repentance, it
cannot atone for the breaking of Yom Kippur laws themselves, see Likkutei
Sichot vol 27 Acharei-Kedoshim)..

Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Avel 1:11. However,
see Lechem Mishneh ad loc., who quotes the Ramban, who maintains that mourning
is in fact done for the benefit of those left behind and therefore should not
be withheld. See comments by the Chatam Sofer further in the article.

In Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Rotzeiach Ushemirat
Nefesh 2:2, Maimonides writes that killing oneself is akin to committing
murder. Elsewhere in Mishneh Torah (Hilchot Teshuvah 3:6), Maimonides writes
that one who commits murder has no share in the World to Come.

For example, in Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah,
siman 345, where all the laws of the suicide are discussed, this is not
mentioned. It is likewise not mentioned in Maimonides in the laws of suicide,
Hilchot Avel 1:11.

See Gilyon Maharsha to Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh
De’ah 345:4. (This Maharsha refers to Rabbi Shlomo Eiger, son of the renowned
Rabbi Akiva Eiger, not to be confused to Rabbi Shmuel Eidels, the famous
commentator on the Talmud.)

Aruch Hashulchan, Yoreh De’ah 345:5. There
are several earlier sources that provide a basis for his opinion, for example
the anecdote of the washerman related in Tractate Ketubot 103b, as per the
explanation of the Yaavetz ad loc. See
footnote 27 for discussion of the degree of underlying distress which must be
present.

In
order for the suicide to be considered “coerced,” there has to be a relatively
extreme degree of distress, pain, fear, etc. If one were to posit that any degree of distress qualifies the
suicide as being “coerced,” then there would be no halachic entity of suicide,
given that anyone who commits suicide presumably has some degree of distress.
Of interest, there is a work which was produced in the 18th century titled
“Besamim Rosh,” initially attributed to the great 13th century sage known as the Rosh, which suggests exactly
this position—that any degree of
distress whatsoever ought to qualify the suicide as “coerced.” Besides for the
fundamental problem with such an approach (that suicide in halachah would lose all meaning), most scholars now consider the
Besamim Rosh to be in fact penned by a more contemporary scholar with his own
agenda and intentionally misattributed to the great Rosh as a means of gaining
legitimacy.

Yam Shel Shlomo to Bava Kama, 8:59; there it
elaborates that King Saul knew that his death was imminent regardless. Another
reason given there is that it was not considered a suicide because he killed
himself to prevent the widespread desecration of G‑d’s name that would result
if the great King Saul was captured. According to others, King Saul was simply
terrified of the pending torture should he be captured, and therefore his
suicide was “coerced” by fear.

There were four possible methods of capital
punishment meted out by the Jewish courts: stoning, burning, decapitation,
strangulation. This man erected a creative contraption which would allow him to
kill himself with all four methods simultaneously.

Rabbeinu Tam, quoted in Tosafot “Ve’al” to Babylonian Talmud, Tractate
Avodah Zarah 18a. With respect to those that preemptively took others lives,
see Daat Zekeinim to Genesis 9:5, where this behavior appears to be strongly
condemned, based on a chilling anecdote.
However, the Beit Yosef writes (Tur Yoreh Deah 157) that there are
conflicting opinions regarding its permissibility.

As alluded to in the article, there are times
when a Jew may choose to be killed, depending on the circumstances, and it may
in fact be a mitzvah to do so. The extent of this permit and situations in
which it is lauded are beyond the scope of this article. See Is a Jew Required to Die Rather than Transgress a Torah
Command?

Rabbi Dr. Shlomo Minkowitz M.D. is an Assistant Professor of Radiology at Weill Cornell Medicine and an Assistant Attending Radiologist at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital. Shlomo is also the founder and director of The Gedaliah Society, a network of Chabad medical professionals, and can be reached at gedaliahsociety@gmail.com.

Art by Rivka Korf Studio, a Miami-based art design studio run by Rivka Korf, a coffee lover and mother. Rivka uses her expertise and creativity to run a team that creates masterful compositions and illustrations for corporate and large nonprofit organizations.

Talmud Sanhedrin tells us that Jewish judges presiding in Life&Death court cases warned all witnesses of the seriousness of their testimony by telling them that if a person destroys a single Jewish life it is as though he destroyed the entire world and if a person saves a single Jewish life it is as though the saved the entire world.. I think that this suicide topic may be the most important topic of all the Chabad Discussion Groups. I think it could very well save a human life from self destruction. Maybe it already has. Just as there is an Alcoholics Anonymous group in which fellow alcoholics help each other by telling their own experiences and what works for them, maybe this can be a sort of Suicidals Anonymous. I think it is important for suicidals to anonymously share what made them feel like ending it all and what made them change their mind. It shouldn't matter at how "silly" the reasons sound as long as the feelings were REAL. It could work for another suicidal as well
Reply

Barnea Levi SelavanJerusalemMay 6, 2020

The story of Shimshon is also suicide. You can see it as an act of war, but that is still taking a position that it is permissible in such instances. It was stated by Shimshon as a request to revenge on one of his two eyes; another point. The Phelishtim were making sport of him, as Shaul similarly feared, which addresses other aspects as well, on the personal level as as representatives and leaders of the Bnei Yisrael. may this lerningbe in the merit of Rachel Dina bat Yehoshua and Shifra who took her life on 12 Nisan, out of depression. The hospital could not admit her because of Corona.,
Reply

David Harold ChesterPetach Tikva, IsraelMay 7, 2020

in response to Barnea Levi Selavan:

This is only part of the story of Rachael Dina. Surely we should read a bit more about the refusal of the hospital and how badly she was afflicted. I have known the Bnei Yisrael here well and helped them to build a synagogue.
Reply

Barnea L SelavanJerusalemMay 7, 2020

in response to David Harold Chester:

Beracha Dina bat Shifra, I got a mistake in the name.The person who told me the story was himself emotional and that is all I know.
Reply

FeigeleBoca Raton FLMay 21, 2019

Did you mention the mass suicide by 100s Jewish families on Masada to escape slavery from the Romans? There is always a black corner in suicidal people's minds being physical or mental pain. Are we G-d's soldiers to prevent people to end their suffering? Of course, we cannot turn our backs to them to prevent it. I know some parents who one evening went out returning home their 17 yrs old son shot himself, not knowing if it was accidental or suicidal, the father was taking him for shooting lessons, so the son had access to the gun.
Reply

Divine Justice
I think we should look at suicidal people in a more favorable way. When one is old and suffering from a painful disease, we (as observers) are in no position to judge that self-annihilation is such a bad thing, as expressed in this essay.

I sometimes wonder if many of the people that die from car crashes, were self-generated and made to appear accidental, when actually they are suicides. When a person has no longer any need to continue with his or her life, the judgement as to end it surely and ethically rests with the person involved. I believe that G-d will understand this and not deny such a soul any kind of "separation" or "punishment".
Reply

Most certainly this article has caused some thought on the subject of suicide.I also wish to add disability. I'm writing with others connected to the Ruderman Family Foundation on inclusive society.In Israel, there is a Guide Dogs for the Blind training centre. A soldier lost his sight, and became the guiding light on providing this service. I have heard it welcomes visitors.We need to provide a welcome, to those who need some compassion at Shul. The elderly, the sight impaired and the deaf, also, those in Wheelchairs. As the article highlights those with mental health issues.Do you remember the two brothers, who lost their lives in Synagogue, they loved their time serving others.We also remember many others, who have memories of great hurt and pain.I hope for the Third Temple, may it be in our time.Good Shabbos to you all, I wish you so a Peaceful Weekend.
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David RankinNew ZealandMay 16, 2019

Suicide is indeed a complex question, but I believe that it has one basic cause, and that is the loss of hope. One of the questions being asked is, "Why are so many of our young people with apparently everything to live for taking their own lives?" Last week a spokesperson for the United Nations said, 'There is no future for the human race. We will all be wiped out within 30 years." This message of hopelessness is being hammered into our young people by the 'global warming' proponents, but it is not G-d's message. The Creator knows what He is doing, and wiping human beings of this earth within 30 years is not a part of His plan. He created the ice age when the ice across Europe was about four miles thick, and He warmed the earth to about 6 degrees above where it is now and crops were grown in Iceland. All of the animals currently on earth survived those conditions. We need to teach our young people that G-d rules this earth and we can say, "My hope is in G-d. In Him will I trust."
Reply

Rachel M.NCMay 16, 2019

An example of long term suffering and pain is Joni Erickson Taxa. Since a teen, (now in her early 70s), she has been confined to a wheel chair after a broken neck from a diving accident. A quadriplegic, someone who has battled cancer and other ailments or trauma in life. Every video I has viewed of her has made me thank God for my blessings in life. She reminds me to pray for others and to know life is what we make of it. Her attitude, her artwork, her singing praises to God and her ministries to others, as well as her witness and testimony surmount what she lives with daily. Finding hope in the struggle is not an easy task; that challenge means the darkness of suicide need never become a necessity or reality. Terminal illness, lifelong physical impairments, life difficulties and unexpected traumatic events need not be the end if a person is rational enough to seek God's guidance and cling thereto with all the tenacity that would have been wasted on suicide.
Reply

ShulamitNew YorkMay 16, 2019

suicidal due to depression
I suffer from terrible depression. Some days are better then others, but when I have bad days , all I can think about is to commit suicide. I've tried every medication out there, and none help me. People keep a distance from me because of my depression. It's not like cancer, where people come to visit you. you get no visitors. you are on your own. I am deeply religious, however I do feel "coerced" into taking my own life. nobody can judge me unless they themselves have experienced horrendous depression where all you can do all day is lay in bed. it is a life long illness for most, and there is no "agenda" here to get back at my family or anything like that. In fact, I would feel horrible for my family if I do end up killing myself. at this point I am taking the pain as it comes, and I take sleeping pills so I can sleep during these suicidal thoughts. that's the only thing I can do. If I had morphine, I would take that, but I don't have access to it. Thanks for reading.
Reply

AnonymousNYCMay 19, 2019

in response to Shulamit:

Shalom Shulamit.....In 1975 I was undergoing a horrible divorce. I had my suicide plan. Two things kept me from suicide. #1... My Dad. #2...I couldn't be buried with the rest of my family in consecrated ground. Well.....here I am....just a whole lot older.
Reply

DanielApril 13, 2020

in response to Shulamit:

Hi! I hope the comment finds you well and in good health.

I wish you all the best in your battle. I cannot begin to comprehend how difficult such a reality may be for you. Whatever I lack in understanding, I offer to you in compassion. I care for you and wish the best for you. Please know that I will pray for you. I will pray that G-d may help you in overcoming this weight upon you, fill you, and guide you.

Have you tried talking about this with your family, friends, or a therapist? I also went through similar experience a few years back and although I did not really have any friends to lean on my family and my therapist, thank G-d, were there for me. You'd be amazed at the good talking (just like your comment here LOL) does. To pray can also be incredibly healing.

Remember that G-d will not forsake you or abandon you. G-d understands your worries, listens to your cries and offers his offers his infinite, infinite love in reply. This is a battle you can win!

I once committed suicide. I attended Yom Kippur services, and asked that my name not be written into the book of life. It clearly did not work, as I am here today.

I would encourage others, if they have suicidal feelings, and wish to express them in a safe and healing sanctuary, go to the temple, and process their emotions there.
Reply

David Harold ChesterPetach Tikva, IsraelMay 17, 2019

in response to Eric:

Eric, you are a big pretender! Many people behave as you did, deliberately or out of ignorance, and they have sufficient confidence in G-d's love to know that they will be excused such behavior. The right place to "process one's emotions" is not in shul, but with an expert clinical psychologist. To use the synagogue as a means of getting enforced forgiveness (by implication) is ethically incorrect, and those who pray for a quick end to their lives are in the wrong, unless they are in such pain as to need some drastic relief.
Reply

Eric HoustonCambridgeMay 19, 2019

in response to David Harold Chester:

Exactly who are you to judge me? Ethically incorrect? Really? Are you Hashem?
Reply

Helen DuddenBristolMay 20, 2019

in response to David Harold Chester:

I agree, for whatever the reason you suffer from depressive illness it can be a danger to your safety. I have known someone who had just given up eating and remains in their bed for weeks, unable to face anything or anyone. Suicide was always on their mind.I know where I live there is no accessible Shul. Wheelchairs can't get in with the many steps.I agree, Shul is a place of peace and healing, it's also social, and a place of safety for vulnerable.Not only the fit and healthy like to attend.But, we have to remember, if you had a broken leg would you get leg put into a plaster cast? Of course you would, if your doctor recommends that treatment.Never, try to self treat depression, it's a illness.
Reply

Bodhi SattvaCambridgeMay 22, 2019

in response to David Harold Chester:

So, if I understand you correctly, even though I am able bodied, I should observe Yom Kippor at home, rather than at my local temple? Did I get that right?
Reply

FeigeleBoca Raton FLMay 21, 2019

in response to Eric Houston:

I believe he was just trying to help and not criticizing anyone. Who can really protect you from what you are going through? it's why anyone suggest different approach to your suffering
Reply

Bodhi SattvaCambridgeMay 22, 2019

in response to Feigele:

Now I am hearing the voice of compassion. That was what I was seeking - the soulful experience of the voice of compassion. So if that is not on the menu at the David Harold Chester shul, I will not be attending there.

I have come to learn that my depression comes from living in a world of endless, infinite judgement, while my soul lives in a world of endless, infinite love. I'm not the crazy one, it is this culture of hierarchy and judgement that I wake up to daily that needs to suffer more in favor of a world that works who those who dwell at the bottoms of the hierarchies that have been constructed by the powerful and elite to exploit the neurotypical and exclude the outliers.
Reply

Bodhi SattvaCambridgeMay 22, 2019

in response to Helen Dudden:

Sorry, I must have the wrong religion. I thought that observation of the shabbat required a minyan. If I was in a wheelchair and I was determined to attend, I would hope that a minyan would get me there somehow.
Reply

AnonymousBlancoMay 15, 2019

Your compassion in this matter is a blessing. I do wish that all of us could withhold our judgements and place our hope and trusting in Hashem to save. We are not G-d, and we cannot possible know the ultimate truth underlying a suicide. G-d is merciful, His thoughts and ways are not natural to us. Why should we judge? Pray and thank Him and trust that His strong arm can save. Self assured condemnation is not our best response.
Reply

Hersh GoldmanSwampscott MA May 15, 2019

In Rabbi Minkowitz's article about suicide, he said that there was only one explicit suicide in the Bible and that it was the death of King Saul. I would think that the death of Samson could be called suicidal. Instead of deliberately jumping/falling off a roof like the "conventional" suicide, he reversed the fatal impact and caused the roof to fall off onto him. He said, "let me die with the Philistines" and then pushed the pillars with all his might causing the building to collapse.

I wonder if the case of KIng Saul (who was seriously wounded) asking someone to kill him, is comparable in some respects to a terminal patient asking Dr. Kervorkian to help him commit suicide and if Doeg who obliged Saul and killed him was in some respects comparable to Kevokrian? BTW I do not condone Kervorkian's assisted suicide activities.
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Rachel M.NCMay 15, 2019

Thank you for this article of profound truth. People need to quit making excuses for such choice to either hurt others most profoundly or to find the supposed easy way out. Suicide is an action committed by hatefilled people who want to damage themselves and others, with no chance of reversing the action. After becoming a surviving victim of the cascading blaming, the vengeance on the part of others, and the personal psychological traumas to overcome, I know the pain and suffering that those who committee suicide leave in the wake of their actions which can never ever be considered acts of atonement for anyone or anything. This article needs to be front page news so that truth be known. Thus, potentially preventing bad decisions on the part of people seeking a way out of dealing with their own life problems. Also, hopefully preventing such people from making, "one more a victim of hell than themselves."
Reply

AnonymousMay 15, 2019

in response to Rachel M.:

I understand your anger but I think part of the article was about how certain circumstances mitigate the act and leave room for forgiving the act by humans and by G-d. I too am a gen 2 suicide survivor who had a father who never recovered from his father's act. I wish he lived to see this article.
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AnonymousNYCMay 15, 2019

in response to Rachel M.:

So sorry that you seem to be "hate-filled". Clinical depression leading to suicide is considered an illness. Apparently you haven't studied the subject in depth.
Reply

Jonathan TempleColorado SpringsMay 15, 2019

in response to Rachel M.:

Rachel, I believe that the harsh judgement of others is rather rash. And label all those whose misery caused suicide as doing it to hurt others is very sad. I let G-d judge. There are many, many, many reasons for suicide, it's not black and white.
Reply

shulamitNew YorkMay 16, 2019

in response to Rachel M.:

Do not judge
with all due respect, Rachel, you apparently have no idea what it is to be severely depressed. and you should never know of it. but please do not judge those who do take their lives. you have no idea what they are going through. thank you.
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AnonymousMay 18, 2019

in response to Rachel M.:

If love is the reason not to, let people know they are loved.
For me, suicidal depression is exactly what this article suggests: a coercive demon that literally tortures me from the inside. Physical pain is preferable to what it does. It says to do it over and over to make it stop.

The only thing that really stopped me in those moments was knowing how much it would hurt the people around me. The idea that there would be no share in The World To Come was absolutely no deterrent, as I wanted to be completely and utterly destroyed - in fact, I was praying for that, as an act of mercy from god. Sometimes I still do.

But you know what? Depression is an episodic illness, and when it goes away, I want to live again. I love living. Every day that demon isn't there, I feel so lucky to be able to live this beautiful life and spend time with the people I love. Even if, god forbid, I lost every one of them and never made another human connection on this earth, there would still be dogs and cats

Thus, long term consequences and as you admitted of your own father, a case from which he never recovered. It is truly sad. I have seen ugly and stupid tattoos on a beautiful woman who has tried to forgive, memorialize and rationalize the suicide of her mother. Thus, inflicting pain upon herself and disfiguring her body because of trying to deal with the loss of her mother to suicide. That woman who died was also, my sister.
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Rachel M.NCMay 17, 2019

in response to Jonathan Temple:

You were rash in judging the context of my comments. In the Scriptures you will find reference to our responsibility for helping preserve the lives of others. When someone commits suicide the survivors are left in the balances. Family, community or even self may need a scapegoat to help deal with the emotional pain of being a survivor. But when we question our responsibility in light of The Scriptures as to whether or not we could have prevented the person from committing suicide, our love and loyalty toward that person is put on the balances and our emotions are agonized more in addition to the initial trauma of the event. In my life the loss to suicide came about from co-worker and friend, my sister and even possibly my husband (who I stopped on three different occasions from his attempts to commit suicide, he died in a motorcycle/tree crash).
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Rachel M.NCMay 17, 2019

in response to shulamit:

Read a few of my responses to others comments here in and my remarks of Joni Erickson Tada. You couldn't fathom what I have dealt with due to others choices to end their lives by suicide.
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Helen DuddenBristolMay 19, 2019

in response to Anonymous:

We all at times find life difficult. I've been unwell for about three years, but now feeling a little better. My Wheelchair, was something I did not want in my life. But it actually helps. I can't visit my children they live in flats, the stairs I can't cope with. Human connection is important, your family is a foundation. Being unwell can make you feel low too.
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MiriamUtahJune 16, 2019

in response to Anonymous:

Oh Anonymous, you put it so well! The part about wanting to be "completely & utterly destroyed" & praying for that is something I've experienced more times than I'd care to count. Medication & a mental health therapist have helped me a great deal (I'm still here). But during a full-blown depressive episode, nothing seems to matter.

I read a quote from some unknown writer that makes perfect sense to me: "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain."

The mental & emotional pain that accompanies depression is so great that everything else ceases to matter. You just want it to go away but, realizing that it's part of you means that you need to escape yourself, & the only way to do that is to cease living! So, praying for death makes perfect sense to us. And anyone who hasn't experienced that cannot understand it, & has no business condemning those of us who do.

How to beat suicides
Most importantly to combat the Spate of suicides which obviously are related to depression, we need to firstly take responsibility - as the Jewish sages teach "we Jews are responsible for one another," and as Dr. Berke the founder of Arbor House mental group home (where the psychiatrists and psychologists lived together with the clients)- for simple truth is, what people most need, is nothing less than compassionate people - which is who we must all be or become.Additionally as Michael Medved reported, the the reason so many people contradictorily see life as bad but their life as good, for the Sea of negativity from politics, spewed venomously in the media, has caused psychologists to say that the greatest stress of Americans today is "America". Practically, we Jews believe that Moshiach is coming and therefore all is and will be good (and it also helps not to ingest negativity (2 weeks before the elections, I got so sick of the media, that I shut off the news and I've been so 😅)
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Ephraim DavidMay 15, 2019

Thanks
Thank you for this enlightening piece which has soothed my soul.
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AnonymousNew York, NYMay 15, 2019

Depression in women
Thank you for this very informative article. I hope this information isn't lost when it comes to treating Jewish women. Suicide is usually associated with depression, and there is so much contributing to depression among frum women. Fortunately, postpartum depression is gaining attention--but the lack of a desire to have children isn't. Given the death rate during labor and delivery, particularly in the US, that reaction seems almost natural. Men are obligated to have children, yet the pressure on women to marry is obscene. Then there are the limits on things people normally do to feel happy. Take the woman who loves to sing: imagine how she feels on Shabbat when the men are singing zemirot with gusto and she can't join in. I've heard young women who are interested in the arts or sports say they are told to forget about it--such things are "a waste of time."Reply

Rochel Chein for Chabad.orgMay 21, 2019

in response to Anonymous:

It's so important to care for one's mental health, including finding appropriate outlets for activities and hobbies. Thankfully many Orthodox girls and women have access to healthy outlets nowadays. Please see this link for information and personal perspectives on caring for mental health.
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Rabbi Minkowitz,thank you very much for this article.I live on a small Dutch island and when someone commits suicide we all know and feel devastated but we also know those people suffered from mental illnesses or had mental break downs.Being there for the ones who are left behind and praying for the souls of the deceased are acts of chesed and ofcourse burying them with love and respect and saying kaddish when they are Jewish are acts of chesed too
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Hessel MeilechCape TownMay 15, 2019

We live in a world of modern medicine. Therefore people who are suicidal are today prescribed medicine to lift their depression and live normal lives.There are exceptions where people can no longer tolerate the pain in their brains.We Jews have a terrible history and as a result many jews have inherited depressive personalities.Suicide is often accompanied by shame. In the 1929 Wall street crash people jumped out of windows.Our ancestors rather committed suicide than be slaves to the Romans ex Masada. The Spanish Inquisition saw many suicides rather than change their religion. The Crusaders , pogroms and holocaust were also times of suicide.There are also the problems of sick people who see no hope for recovery and request the staff to turn off the life supporting systems.The big problem is also the loved ones who are left behind and spend the rest of their lives with a guilt complex, Why did I not do more?Finally we do not not how we would react in these complex situations
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DianeVAMay 15, 2019

Was a suicide a "coercion"? I would like to believe so when I think of my paternal grandfather taking his life. He lost everything in Danzig. I would like to think so when my dad took his life. But I'm not sure. And I know full well my mother wasn't coerced when she took her life. Beyond a tough topic for those left behind. A nightmare you can't get over. Thank you for the lesson. I appreciate it.
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AnonymouscalabasasMay 15, 2019

in response to Diane:

I hope you are surrounded with many close, loving friends, to who you can turn at any time. With your background especially, you must know you are considered at high risk. We all have to take steps to attach to others. It's the most important of all psychological needs: love and belonging. When we're deserted, we don't belong to that person any more, and the pain from the loss can make us retreat to avoid desertion again. But then we're left unattached. I'm glad you read Chabad posts, and hope you are well nurtured by friends and community.
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