After dwelling secretly in China for a year, she escaped to South Korea. To her relief, she was able to live more freely, “without government approval needed for everything.” But, ironically, the freedom of everyday life in Seoul was a bit much for Kim. “The choices, the consumerism was overwhelming,” she said. “Even ordering at Starbucks was difficult. I’d never had coffee in my life, and didn’t understand the names of the drinks.”

Finding a solution wasn’t difficult. “I married a lovely South Korean man,” she said. “It was the best way to join this society.”

Kim now helps her husband, 42-year-old Hong Seung-woo, run a popular dating service that matches South Korean men with North Korean women.

They have matched more than 400 couples and claim that only four of those marriages have ended in splits. South Korea has one of the highest divorce rates in the world.

So what’s the draw for the North Korean ladies?

“North Korean men want to be the king of the house,” says Kim. “Southern men grew up in a developed society, so they’re more respectful of gender equality.”

Last year, 1,508 North Korean refugees arrived in the south, bringing the total number seeking shelter in the country to 24,000 since the end of the Korean War, according to a government tally.

More than 80 per cent of defectors are women.

South Korean men, too, see the allure of wedding a northerner. “A common complaint here is that southern women can have high standards,” Hong says. After Hong divorced his first wife, a South Korean, he says was rejected three times because he “wasn’t rich enough, and wasn’t a provider.”

With men outnumbering women in a society that historically has favoured male children, the ladies have an easier time taking their pick. Although many South Korean men seek out wives through matchmaking agencies in the Philippines and Vietnam, “adjusting to life here is hard for outsiders,” Hong said. “That’s why more men want a North Korean girl nowadays, with all the difficulties in the interracial marriages.”

“For North Korean women, there aren’t huge problems learning the language and culture,” he adds. “We come from a common ancestry, the same blood, and that makes these marriages successful.”

Geoffrey Cain is a reporter for Global Post.

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