Zimbabwean Big Game Hunter Makes Christmas Appeal

Clayton Le Moors, the legendary Zimbabwean big game hunter, renowned for falling down a hole in Hampshire whilst stalking rabbits with an AK 47, and notorious for his failure to supply high meat content sausages to Euro sausage guzzlers on time, allegedly has made an Xmas request for a Chrimble gift from a workmate.

'He keeps pestering me for a pellet gun,' said Roy McFarlane. 'God knows why. I'm not even related to him or anything. What's all that about?

'When I asked him what he was proposing to shoot, he told me, rats and pigeons.

'It's a bit of a come down from big game.'

Another workmate of Le Moors told us that rat and pigeon meat most probably constituted the bulk of the sausage filling his business relied on.

A firearms expert told us that a pellet gun would be most unlikely to stop a rampaging bull elephant in its tracks.

A doctor told us in strictest confidence that Clayton Le Moors was fucking nuts, and best ignored.

Yet the pellet gun requests continue.

More as we get it.

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