If you’re an intense person, then you’ve probably known feelings of being out of control, unvalued in relationships, and being unable to set boundaries. My guest today has a wonderful story about how she came to a place of self-love, so she could then ask for what she wants and needs to be her best self in the world.

Melissa Snow is a certified life coach who specializes in helping women improve their lives by learning to like, love, and value themselves more. She understands firsthand what it’s like to feel out of place and “not good enough.” She also knows the dramatic effects this has on ALL aspects of your life. She loves helping women get from where they are to where they want to be, by increasing their self-esteem and recognizing their inherent worth. Melissa is the author of Ten Secrets to Having the Love You Want, and has recently been featured on The Inspired Women podcast with Megan Hall. She’s also frequently featured on Bustle and Mind-Body Green.

Show Highlights:

How Melissa grew up as a gifted kid in the 1980s, going to an integrated school where she felt like she didn’t belong and wasn’t as good as others

How her passion developed for helping women realize their value and harness their power

How her intensity is manifested in her being overly emotional and sensitive to other people and to beauty in nature

How she felt intensity when growing up, but not knowing how to harness it and what to do with it

The effects of ADHD and giftedness as Melissa grew up

Feeling like she didn’t belong and needed to be “fixed”

How there weren’t opportunities and the level of understanding of giftedness that we see today

How she felt like she had to tone herself down and tune herself out

How we expect other people to like and love us when we don’t even like and love ourselves

In early adulthood, Melissa’s self-worth was tied to whatever others thought

When you don’t have self-esteem or self-worth, you don’t feel like you have the right to set boundaries, and you become a needy, desperate, jealous, and clingy person

How Melissa got to the point where she felt at rock bottom, and there was absolutely nothing in her life that she liked

How she got her intensity back under control, harnessing the power, and using it for good and not destruction

How she harnessed the power of her intensity by becoming a life coach and learning to accept herself and her quirks

How keeping “things” under control helps Melissa keep life under control

Being her best self by learning to schedule downtime, using time-blocking techniques, and setting a routine to be grounded and at peace

Not allowing negativity to infiltrate the rest of her life

How Melissa helps others use their fire, by helping them in figuring who they are and who they want to be

Your own thoughts and beliefs about yourself are usually the biggest obstacle in being who you want to be