Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

Why?

I have tried and tried to stop/control my gambling addiction...I have been to GA, I read books and applied them, I have worked the steps BUT it doesn't seem to make any difference when the "itch" comes. On Monday I wrote just exactly how I felt from the time the "itch" began until the end of playing until a few days after.

I had a friend read it because I felt that I am at my wit's end ~ I realized by response that it's not the gambling but it was something I felt that I didn't deserve that made the "itch" begin in the first place!

I had started thinking about just "why" I gamble just a few days before I wrote the post and continued to think it about it...I really think that I know why and that by knowing why I can work through this addiction.

Does anybody else feel this way? Has anyone tried to figure why this addiction takes a hold of us and when?

Dear Donna,
This to me still remains a mystery - when I got the urge and acted on it this would happen at strange times - sometimes when the sun was shining and sometimes when I felt unhappy - there really wasn't any rhyme or reason - what I came to realise is - I don't need to know why to stop - I just need to stop. Playing &quot; the tape &quot; ( which is what you wrote inside your head really helps when you are feeling like gambling - it helps to write down the exact thoughts. Now if it comes I re read my last day I gambled. I don't want to feel like that again. I also re read some of the postive feelings I have had since not gambling.
_ I know one thing for certain. When I gamble I feel lousey - when I don't I feel good and I am able to contribute.
Instead of looking into why you gamble may I suggest you look into your &quot;toolbox&quot; of recovery of helpful things that will help you not - ie, GA - journaling , calling a friend, distraction, working the steps.
This is not an easy journey, I do bleive for myself I need to work on recovery in some form every single day.
One day at a time is a great start - one minute at a time - one second at a time - whatever it takes.

I thank all of you for comments! I would like to explain why I (for myself) need to understand why I gamble. I understand that for some people working it &quot;1 day at a time&quot; works but for me it just adds to it. If I continually think and say to myself &quot;I will not gamble today&quot; it makes it more pronounced. I don't gamble everyday nor do I gamble every week and sometimes I don't gamble for months at a time. That's why I've been trying to understand why the &quot;itch&quot; (for lack of a better word) comes and why I have to scratch it! I just do know that when the thought comes it needs to be acted upon ~ I've tried distancing, talking, doing something else but I feel that until I understand &quot;why&quot; the cycle will never end! I understand that for others the why doesn't matter it's just a matter of stopping. But for me that's not the case! Gambling is a sickness ~ when you are sick you want to know why you are sick and not just deal with it ~ anyway that's the way that I feel about it! Eastwester, you made a comment: &quot;We choose to avoid facing some situation, some circumstance, some feeling that we find unacceptable to ourselves&quot; and I completely agree but for me I believe that I have to find out what situation or feeling I am trying to avoid! I want to deal with it so I can understand it and takes steps to move forward. If there is a block in my path I don't want to go around it! I want to confront it head on. It's taken almost 16 years to even want to do that! For me, insanity is doing the same things over and over again but expecting different results ~ I don't want to do the same things over and over again!

First let me begin that Im not wallowing about in the fog of my addiction and I resent that statement tremendously! If I was, I sure would not be giving my addiction to my Higher Power, I would not be admitting that I have a problem, I would not be working on the behaviors, thoughts and issues that cause me to gamble.

All addictions are based in fear, avoidance and pain ~ things that we dont want to deal with or face head-on. The cycle of addiction is destructive to us and those around us. Not dealing with the root of the addiction makes everything in our life unhealthy!

My belief is if I dont deal with the root of my addiction will only result in finding another outlet for it. Trading one addiction for another is not the answer. I want to learn the root of my addiction and work through it. If I dont learn what the root of my problem is I could probably stop gambling but then what outlet/addiction would I use to continue to avoid the root of the problem?

I choose not to give in to gambling but I need to do more work than not giving in to replace my destructive behaviors with healthy ones.
In any addiction there is a always a choice whether or not to act on it or not. My gambling will always be an addiction even when I find the root of it all! Not gambling will always be a choice I have to make everyday for the rest of my life!

The vital tool that I need in my recovery is to understand the entire cycle ~ what is the root?! It may not be for some, but it is for me!

I dont think Im a special type of addict and that I need a special type of program but what works for one does not necessarily work for others.

I thought by opening myself up and asking questions I could help myself as well as help others. I didnt think that I would be opening myself up to this type of passive-aggressive response.

Knowledge is power, power is strength, strength is fortitude and fortitude carries from minute to minute, hour to hour, one day at a time!

I just want to add that everyone has to find their own way and it should be supported with humility because I know I don't have all the answers and I've made way too many mistakes to pass judgment on anyone trying to find their way.

Hmmmm....you seem to have taken offense at the response you got here...I myself didn't see any passive-aggressive stuff here...just people telling their truth from their perspective....

For me, gambling was destroying my life, and I had to quit ....or else face dire consequences....knowing why could come later....I think most of us have to get to the point where the pain of quitting is less than the pain of continuing.

When I quit, I had to decide that...no matter what....I wasn't going to scratch that gambling itch.
...and it has gotten much weaker in time.

To date, I haven't picked up any new addictions, except perhaps coming to this site!

I may never know why....but I don''t think it really matters. One thing I learned was that people who undergo types of counseling designed to focus mostly on what causes certain behaviors don't show much success in quitting those behaviors...whereas therapy that centers on the behavior itself instead of the cause seems to be more successful.

For example, I read a study where patients undergoing freudian psychoanalyis show the same rate of improvement as people getting no therapy at all....

Perhaps gambling has not destroyed your life to the extent it has mine....and you are not yet compelled to quit...&quot;or else&quot;....as I was....and can take your time searching for the &quot;why's&quot; before stopping.

At any rate, I wish you the best in your recovery...with whatever method that works for you.

For me, ODAAT has been the key. Sometimes I have managed not to gamble just by telling myself that just for that day I would not gamble...that I could gamble at some future time....and thankfully, by the next day, the urge had become weaker...and here I am now, almost 9 mos. later...gf.

Hi Donna,
I've read all of the posts - - - I hope you are not turned off by what you have read here....it really is a positive, helpful site for many - everyone has their own opinions and you made a good point - what works for some people may not be what works for another!!! So true... A while back I attended GA meetings and that approach did not work for me; it did for a time, I guess, but for some reason I wasn't comfortable with that kind of group environment (or maybe it was just that mix of personalities -not sure), and reading and writing on this site work better for ME. Everyone is different. Some swear by GA and that's great; if it helps, that's wonderful; that's the purpose.
I can empathize with your need/desire to know the why. I've struggled with that myself; I believe in my case I have figured it out and it DOES help me analyze my behavior and thoughts at the time that the urges occur... I can say - now, I know that I'm feeling this way because take a look at my husband's travel schedule lately; he's not been around that much and we need more quality time together, etc.., just an example of my situation; it's a way to escape from being alone, go off into another world where I'm not thinking of the time we aren't with eachother or sometimes stress at work is a trigger - - -Oh - why not; who cares; I've got to get away from it all! Escape! We can have all kinds of reasons and rationalizations, but bottom line is we don't like ourselves very much when we let the reasons dictate our behavior.
Please continue to write anytime; just understand that everyone here in their own way (though it may sound forceful sometimes) is trying their BEST to help. Look beyond the answers that don't help you and gravitate to those that do!
All the best on your journey,
Smokeygirl

Does anybody else feel this way? Has anyone tried to figure why this addiction takes a hold of us and when?

Why? Why did I gamble? I suppose I started out like anyone else, it was kinda' fun. I'm not sure when the fun stopped for me, but it did. When I gambled I didn't want to stop until I absolutely had to. Even if I won. I still didn't want to leave, I just wanted to play until all my available funds were exhausted for that day, or I had to leave because I ran out of time. It was horrible knowing I was going to leave with a sick feeling of hating myself. I actually felt sick before even leaving the house to go gamble, I knew I was going to go hurt myself. Why did I gamble? Why couldn't I stop? Why did I want to hurt myself? I am 9 months gambling free, this time around. My first quit lasted approx. 3 yrs. Knowing what I know now, looking back, I can see I utilized willpower alone to stay away from gambling. It didn't work, I went back out there to hurt myself some more. I don't even remember when or where I slid that 1st 20 into a machine this last time around! It's awful to think that the pain I caused myself and my family wasn't enough to scare me into staying away from gambling for forever! I was doing it again! Hurting myself again! Guess what? I'm starting to understand why I was hurting myself over and over again, I think it's because I didn't like myself. And that's putting it mildly, I hated myself. Slowly, one day at a time, I'm learning to love myself. I don't want to hurt me. Why did I hate myself so much, I wonder? How long have I hated myself, I wondered? Why? I'm working on why and realizing there's more than one answer as to why. I recently quit smoking. Yuck. What a nasty addiction that is! Why did I smoke? I was addicted. But why did I start? Dang....I have to go back so many yrs to try to remember that one...hmmmmm....something to do with my mom...hmmmm....Donna...does it really matter why I started smoking 36 yrs ago? I ended up addicted to it. I've tried quitting before &amp; started back up again...and I don't know why? So, the way I'm dealing with my smoking addiction, is the same way I'm dealing with my gambling addiction...I'm taking them both one day at a time. You're not alone, Donna, I think about why a lot, about a lot of things. Lots of whys here. Today I'm using my courage to plow forward in my recovery, whether I understand why I am the way I am, or not. I'm learning to accept the things I cannot change. Some answers to my many q's may never come, I accept that. Some answers are coming little by little, I'm accepting that, too.

Does anybody else feel this way? Has anyone tried to figure why this addiction takes a hold of us and when?

Yes, I feel like you do, you are not alone. And yes, I've tried to figure out why this addiction took a hold of me &amp; I'm learning there are many, many reasons why.

The Reason I gambled was because I was an ADDICT! I was a compulsive gambler who was unwilling to deal with life on lifes terms, I was insecure, immature full of self pity and was the Best Professional Victim there was. Until I was willing to admit to those character defects(I'm not even saying accepting, just admitting at the beginning) I was unable to move forward into a life in recovery.

I've read all the posts and here are my 2 cents, don't worry about the reason now, just keep using all the tools you've learned and remember the hardest thing to do is KEEP SURRENDERING CONTROL to your higher power, we as addicts always want control..if we don't turn our control --we'll be driving our own bus.. probably over the cliff. I've been in GA for 4.5 yrs and I have 1.25 yrs clean time- EVERYDAY I have to remind myself to turn things over to my higher power. Once you've gotten some clean time under your belt your higher power will lead you to the reason(s) you gambled, and at that time you'll be more healthy and able to look at those reasons more clearly, honestly and openminded.

Keep up the good fight and NEVER-EVER give up on yourself, your life can be so much better gamble free than it was when you gambled.

I know the reason I gambled was for the thrill and action. The adrenaline rush, and high, I get from gambling is phenomenal. It is truly like mainlining a drug and I have been unable to get any high like it from doing anything else. Just fantasizing about gambling can bring me this rush. Part of my recovery includes grieving the loss of that high. Another reason I like to gamble is that I feel I belong at a casino. I know that's a sad statement but it's true. It's as if a casino is my home and I know of no other place that I feel like I belong as much as at a casino. So that's another issue to say goodbye too. I hate to admit it but I'm an addict. The only difference between someone that uses cocaine and me is that I gamble for the high. Best wishes with everyones recovery.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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