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Friday, October 26, 2012

Speaking up.

I’ve just come out of a
3-day Women’s Conference with the theme: Voices of Pacific Women.I’ve never really considered myself a
feminist or doubted my ability to speak up, so I didn’t expect to feel as
inspired and uplifted as I was.

One of the panel
discussions was on the impact of culture on business. A woman raised a question,
which made me want to put pen to paper with my own thoughts on the matter. She prefaced her
question with: Firstly, I apologize in advance for asking this question. Her
question was: Don’t you think the Samoan culture discourages women from
speaking up? Don’t you think Samoan culture contributes to women in abusive
situations not being able to express their voices?

One of the ladies on the
panel was a faletua, who replied with (effectively) – it’s not culture’s fault
that people don’t speak up, it’s people’s abuse of the culture and it’s a
reflection on man/ woman’s own weakness that gives the Samoan culture a bad name.

Nobody else responded to
her question.

It’s left me pondering.
How do I, as a fiercely proud Samoan woman reconcile the question of whether my beloved Samoan culture contributes to and perhaps even worsens the problem that Samoan
women in abusive situations feel they cannot speak up?

It’s no secret: Samoans
are a proud people. We are a God fearing
nation steeped in centuries of rich tradition passed down through
generations. We are fortunate and proud
that our language, dance, traditional tools, clothing, medicine, art, foods,
our way of life is largely preserved for us to impart to our children. We are
self-governed, we own our lands, and we are forging our own future. As a nation and as a culture, indeed, we have
a lot to be proud of. As a Samoan, I think it is our natural instinct that if/
when the integrity of our culture is ever questioned that we fiercely defend it. Though it seems arrogant/ ignorant, I believe that for
many people, the notion that our revered and beloved culture is even remotely
responsible for suppressing the voice of our women, or is responsible for
leaving women in abusive situations is not only hard to swallow but absolute
blasphemy. Also I believe the persona of the Samoan woman, is that she is
strong and not short of confidence or voice. We are the revered advisors, the actual force behind our husbands, fathers and families. We just let them think otherwise. So
I think it’s also difficult to reconcile this version of the Samoan woman, with
one whose voice is suppressed.

Growing
up in Samoa, I was taught from a young age, to respect my parents, to speak
when I’m spoken to, to do my chores without complaint, and if I felt like
complaining to hold my tongue, and to generally know my place. While I’ve
certainly grown up and I’ve lived my life as my own independent woman, I think
there is still a part of me and probably other island women that have
internalized this notion that silence is golden.

At least in my own experience,
I would say being quiet, and not questioning authority, are values perpetuated
by Samoan culture. I can’t deny that growing up I certainly knew that to
question a decision of a person/ village council/ church leader of authority
would result in a good whacking, being disowned, and a life of shame. As an
educated woman and as an objective human being, I also can’t deny that abuse
happens in Samoa. The growing number of instances being reported is just
harrowing.

While I don’t think it’s
culture’s fault that women don’t speak up, I can’t accept that being a proud
Samoan is an excuse not to recognize the role that the culture is playing in
suppressing women’s voices.

I think as Samoan men and
women in the 21st century it’s important to realize that culture has
evolved to where we are today and will continue to evolve in a more accelerated
manner due to the advent of technology.

I think it’s important to
recognize that culture will change. Truly, change is the only constant there is
and ever has been. Even as we try to maintain our culture, we are in fact re-creating
it. Accepting that as a matter of fact, culture WILL change. This doesn’t mean we are rejecting who we are
or that we are spitting on the legacy of our forefathers (though it may feel
like it). It doesn’t mean you have to start changing anything actually. It
means that culture changes daily, with or without our consent. And more
importantly it means that we have a choice to affect the culture of our
children. It means that we have the power to evolve our culture into the
desired culture for our future generations.

So as a proud Samoan, I
think it’s important to recognize that there are aspects of our culture that
contribute to negative things like discouraging women to speak up and step out.
Undoubtedly, this is not unique to Samoan culture as it happens, probably
everywhere the world. The key thing is, we need to create a culture where women
in Samoa can speak up. How do we do this? I believe it starts with our
fundamental roles as mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts and wives. We instill
the value in our daughters, that they must exercise their voice. We instill in
our sons, fathers, uncles and brothers that women’s voices are to be heard and
respected. We lend ourselves to our sisters, girlfriends, and aunts, that when
they speak up, we will receive them with open hearts and open arms and when
they cannot speak up, we will speak for them.

Speaking up is less about
opening your mouth than it is about opening your mind and opening the minds of the
others.

6 comments:

This was a really interesting post and I completely agree with you. Domestic violence thrives in our culture and we have to acknowledge that our culture to some extent is tolerant or at the least turns a blind eye to it. It takes a brave woman to stand up and say that the beatings she gets from her husband are abuse, especially if there is a culture of violence in her family.I really liked the last sentence of your post. So true.

I Wish you had said this ,especially the last sentence, to those who were at the conference:) As Samoans we need lateral thinkers like you to assist everyone else realise "the reality" and not blanket scold everything and every suggestion that may not "sound nice"...I love your blogs and thank you for sharing:)

I am a feminist, and I have to say I'm always surprised when women say they don't consider themselves feminists- which part of women being equal and deserving equal rights, do women disagree with?

It's true that I have always defended Samoan culture against charges of ingrained sexism. I brought up being taught that my culture valued my voice, even more, that that I was the pupil of my brothers' eye, that the concept of 'fegaiga' meant that my voice could ultimately be the final one. The strong Samoan women in my family were an inspiration to me and my grandma's voice was always the final one, in my family. My father taught me this.

That said, I recognise that there are high levels of domestic and sexual violence in Samoa, and while I'm not sure that our culture enables these crimes, I completely agree that we should encourage speaking up. And I salute the blogs that allow us to do so!