Christmas with children, without hassle

This was an article in a newsletter from 2008 by Sophie Lovejoy, when her children were young. It provides ideas for parents with limited budgets who’d like to keep their spending under control, yet still have a good time.

Christmas is invariably a challenge with small children, particularly if you aren’t Christian. For the past few years, my halcyon days of totally ignoring Christmas have been entirely forgotten. I got away with not celebrating when Tess was one, but as she turned two, I couldn’t hold out any longer. Once Toby came along, I had no choice but to rethink how I’d manage over the festive season. I work very hard in the run up to Christmas to keep the kids focused on the people they love, and who love them. Part of this is making almost all our gifts and cards, and I try to make something for each of the children too. I occasionally let the kids buy something very small, but usually my response when they ask is “Do you have any money? No? Well we’ll have to make something then.”

Gifts have ranged from sponge-painted underpants (my particular favourite) to hand-painted flower pots with bags of compost and chilli pepper seeds inside them. We’ve given pine cone bird feeders, decorated oven gloves and lots of truffles, biscuits and cakes. Occasionally, I have to remind the kids to think about what the recipient might like, rather than their own likes. (Toby recently made a Spiderman card for Nana’s birthday).

I do various things to keep consumerism down in my household, and to try and limit the number of toys the children have. Don’t get me wrong – they have unlimited craft materials and access to creative toys like puppets and Lego. It’s the nasty plastic rubbish I try to keep under control. My avoidance tactics are pretty stern; the children are allowed some TV, but it’s almost always one of the BBC channels. On the rare occasions we watch commercial TV together they know I mute the adverts. Tess has even started muting them for me. Nevertheless, she knows exactly which brand of dolly she would like from Santa, after a brief exposure to TV ads at Daddy’s house! One thing we never do is go shopping as a leisure activity; partly because I can’t see the point, but also because children can’t help but ask for almost every toy they see, even if they know the answer will be “No”. There’s no point in showing them all the things I won’t let them buy for themselves or other people.

We spend the festive season having fun. We eat every meal together round the table (often food we’ve all helped prepare). We sing carols and Christmas songs loudly and at every opportunity, sometimes with Tess playing them on the piano. We drive around in the dark with a flask of hot chocolate, looking for the most outrageous Christmas lights. Most of all we spend time together (and remarkably little money). It’s during that time together that I talk about why Christmas is celebrated, and what it means to some people, while making it clear that it’s not what I believe. We talk about which traditions pre-date Christianity, and why our friends are having a celebration on the shortest day. I stop short of explaining Santa wears red because of an highly effective Coca-Cola advertising campaign – that one, I’m keeping for when they’re older.

For more on a Humanist approach to Christmas, including a grandmother’s approach, see ‘Humanists at Christmas‘.