By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times

The Colts punter says he's going to miss center A.Q. Shipley, who owned the locker next to his before getting traded to the Ravens last week.

"It'll never be the same," tweeted McAfee. "Who's gonna dry my back now?"

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: "Jason Collins might be just the frontcourt presence team trying to boost media coverage needs."

• At SportsPickle.com: "LeBron carries tiny Nate Robinson home to show his kids."

Spur of the moment

The Spurs' Manu Ginobili missed a key three-pointer before making good on a three that clinched a double-OT playoff win over the Warriors.

As Spurs coach Gregg Popovich described it to reporters: "I went from trading him on the spot to wanting to cook him breakfast tomorrow."

Grooming a quarterback

And in social news from D.C., Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III is getting married this summer.

Inquiring minds want to know: Will RG3 throw the bridal bouquet, or simply hand it off to Alfred Morris?

Avoiding a playoff birth

A mother-to-be in Portland delayed being induced so she could watch Game 5 of the Western Hockey League finals Friday night.

Finally, a labor stoppage Joe Sports Fan can relate to.

Not pitcher-perfect

Umpire Fieldin Culbreth got suspended for two games for botching a pitching-substitution rule.

Or as it's now known in baseball circles, a Fieldin error.

Read the fine print

"Five people have been arrested after fans tore out their stadium chairs during the recent Under-17 Glasgow Cup soccer final between Celtic and Rangers," noted Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post. "They obviously misunderstood 'Please take your seats.' "

Talko time

• Dodgers Hall of Famer Tommy Lasorda, to the L.A. Times, on the vagaries of being a big-league manager: "I knew before the season, if we were going to win 100 games, there were 62 games when I was going to be the most miserable SOB on the planet."

• Blackhawks center Dave Bolland, to the Chicago Sun-Times, when asked to peg his return from a groin injury: "I don't know about the percentage, but I'm halfway there."

• CBS's David Letterman, on the Senate mulling a landmark immigration bill: "Tim Tebow's got a better chance of passing."

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after a Texas Longhorns baseball player used pitcher Cory Knebel's urine to beat a drug test — only to have it test positive for Adderall: "That's one blown save."

Problem solved

A woman's apartment in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, got inundated by bats.