The shame, the shame…

In a case of form and content matching each other all too well, technical difficulties prevented me from posting my Roundtable Review on time this month. Er, last month. And no: not all the technical difficulties got solved. But the longer I wait to post, the deeper the shame…

Anyway, I thought I might have some competition for the most embarrassing revelation in last month’s roundtable. Ha! Not even close. In fact, I found this entry so humiliating, I decided to do it as a podcast. That way you’d have had to suffer listen all the way through before you even found out what the title of the movie was! Diabolical, yes?

Actually, in the event, this podcast turned out to be a podcast about why the original podcast didn’t get, umm, podcasted. It features many layers of meta-embarrassment. But hey — if I’m going to tarnish my own reputation, I might as well do a thorough job of it!

Thanks, Jessica. I hope to do some more podcasts, now that I’m figuring out the technical stuff.

Baron, Thomas — the trouble is, when you have a title like “B-Master”, self-applied though it is, it’s not easy to admit you haven’t seen one of the most frequenty ripped-off movies in the repertoire.

I do see your point, though, Thomas; one of the things that surprised me a little was that the One Iconic Image that everybody knows from this film isn’t handled quite as well as I hoped it would be… the director gets all auteur-y, and the attempt hasn’t aged well. That reminded me of how irritating some of his other films have been. But in the end, I’m very glad to have finally seen it, and I regret having waited so long.

If it makes you feel better, I’ve never seen Alien, even though I’ve had no reason not to and, in fact, I’ve seen all the sequels (yes, even Resurrection). As with the film you talk about, I am worried about whether or not it’s possible to fully appreciate it after all the knock-offs I’ve seen.

Carrie’s a solid film. I’d say there’s enough there to enjoy even if you’re not into anything related to Stephen King. It’s one thing, though, to trick yourself into thinking you’ve seen a movie you really haven’t. It’s another thing if you had simply expressed disinterest in this film. Sissy Spacek nuking a high school prom–if that doesn’t make you want to watch the movie I really don’t know what to say to you to change your mind.

Also, Will, you really DO have a solid voice for podcasts. Whether or not the format is what you enjoy, especially compared to writing, I don’t know. But if you do continue to record podcasts I think you’ll find there’ll be an audience for them.

Oh, believe me, it wasn’t lack of interest, nor am I completely averse to Stephen King. Back when the movie first came out, and King was first getting started, I was a huge fan… and in those days, who wasn’t? I look at King with a jaundiced eye now, for reasons it would take me several full-length essays to explain; but certainly I think books like Carrie and above all Pet Sematery will continue to be read and admired long after we are all dead and dust.

Why I never saw the film remains something of a mystery to me. It was the 800-pound gorilla in the room that I just chose to overlook. I was looking around for some moderately controversial movie for the roundtable, and going over people’s lists of favorites for inspiration, when That One Title jumped off the screen and slapped me across the face. And then I knew.

But your reaction to the prom scene is part of my point: it’s exactly the wrong set of emotions to take away from the movie, and yet it’s what we all do. That, if anything, is even more baffling than my having avoided the film all these years.

And — heh — I guess the title of the film is no longer my carefully-guarded secret…

Well, I’m not so sure if I get visceral satisfaction out of the prom scene. I wasn’t a social kid in high school but I still enjoyed it and don’t have the same kind of ill feeling towards it that most non-jock/socialites seem to. So I don’t really enjoy scenes of school destruction besides ones that are Calvin-esque in a, “hooray, no school tomorrow!” sort of way. But I think the scene is terrifying and tragic.

What made it worse, for me, was that I was seeing it on tape years after the fact and already knew pretty much how it was all going to play out. I was born in ’83, so I was negative seven when the film was released, thus preventing me from seeing it in theaters. Once I could drive, however, my mom did get me all-access rental accounts from the local video stores so she could just send me out to pick up whatever film she wanted. That left me free to snag whatever horror film interested me that week.

So, yeah–it was 1999; I knew everyone was going to burn. To me that just made the whole thing sadder and creepier, knowing that things simply weren’t going to end well for ANYONE. It’s not often the main redemption arc in a movie ends with devastating survivor guilt. And even though I tend to appreciate films that avoid the false note of a forced happy ending I still wanted better for Sue than that.

But the film has one of those high concept-type of descriptions that will get me every time. Sissy Spacek nuking the prom; I simply HAVE to know how that happens. It’s kinda like the idea of cowboys fighting dinosaurs; I KNOW The Valley of Gwangi sucks, but every biological urge compels me to know how a plot like that unfolds.

This was like the Tristram Shandy of cult movie reviews — and a really great podcast. Excellent reverb!

It saddens me that the concept and operation of the UHF dial needs so much explanation, but I guess that the cruel expanse of time renders it so. In my young life, the UHF band not only meant Saturdays filled with horror and science fiction films from morning to night, but also episodes of Ultraman, Prince Planet and Thunderbirds at the end of every school day. Made me who I am today, for better or worse.

Onion — well put! Also, your reaction goes to show how much of the tragic spirit of the book made it into the finished film.

Unfortunately, when the movie came out, its impact on school bullies (who, as a class, were the most likely to be able to sneak in and see it) was just about nil. I know. I was at prime tormenting age.

(BTW, two things about Gwangi are the opposite of Suck: the dinosaurs, and the theme music. I’m a sucker for a good sweeping Western theme.)

Todd — Sterne’s novel and the roundtable have one thing in common for me: as much as I enjoyed them both, it took me way too long to finish either of them.

You may be amused (or horrified) to learn my original digression on UHF was over twice as long.

Interesting comment on Ness’s slaying of Nitti in The Untouchables. I remember feeling very uncomfortable when I first saw that. Ness had crossed a line – and not in a good way – but the audience reaction (albeit quietly – very reserved, we British) was definitely one of “YEAH!!!” I personally reckon that a lot of that was because oh my God, Nitti killed Sean Connery – the BASTARD!!! – and didn’t even feel sorry about it: but the scene still remains skin-crawling – a good man has gone rotten, even if only for that one awful moment – to this day.