The entire Progdom is up in arms since the Chair Wars started with Clint Eastwood's unprovoked attack on an innocent chair at the RNC. Instead of acting as a policy expert like all the Prog actors do, Mr. Eastwood presumed to act as an actor and delivered an acting performance. What a bizarre idea!

Unbeknownst to Eastwood, that was actually the 5th or the 6th most interesting chair in the room. It had enough capacity to seat not just our invisible president, but also millions of jobs that had been saved or created, as well as undocumented voters, necroproxies, and all the fake Twitter followers.

Implying that Obama was an empty chair was as nonsensical as saying "The Emperor has no clothes!" But the Emperor "episode" has been thoroughly debunked by the progressive historians, who proved that the Emperor was, in fact, wearing a magnificent dress, visible only to the smart and the enlightened, and that the boy's heckling was manufactured by the Republican machine, paid for by the Koch brothers. Just like that non-story, Eastwood's attack on all chairs is bound to the ash heap of history, along with capitalist greed and American imperialism in general.

We are all chairs now!

Below are some helpful visuals prepared by our Department of Visual Agitation to be used in the fight. No Pasaran!

HALT! I'm envoking that the use of Emperor and chair are examples of dog whistle crypto-speak, and therefor racist. I feel privileged that our constitutional professor is holding down the fort, and I'm not angry that he plays golf.

My most loved and beloved comrades, proles and ultra elite camaraderies, I your beloved Judge Fraulein have been... how shall I say, 'detained' in one of our most glorious gulags down D.C. way, but after my escape..... release, I was uber disturbed by the Republican Chair Attack.

On my way back to our beloved and adored personal Cube gulag, look what I discover in the highway!! aaaaaakk! It brought fear, revulsion and a Pepto- Bismol attack! These evil Republicans abandoned a poor weak chair alone in the highways!

I AM SO TOUCHED I HAVE A TEAR! Your kind welcoming to yourpoor humble servant is much in appreciation!! but might I inquire where you've moved the &^%$#@ beer keg?? Just to make myself feel at home'n all.

I see nothing much has changed... as usual, some comrades with less control and dignity have already begun to party down. I appear to have stumbled across Comrade Barack's Better Half who is already 3 or 4 sheets blowing in the wind... or whatever.

Ahh, summer is such a pleasant time at gulag the beach... Nobody believed you'd survive be back so soon! Welcome Back Comrade Colonel Judge. Your favorite shovel was re-distributed by a band of illegal immigrants disenfranchised voters who have been so busy doing the People's work that they haven't had the time to return it. yet. Pinky might loan you one in the interim. She has plenty...

Fraulein, I join the other Progs in welcoming you back. I too have missed your most, uh, interesting face. The head gear, I think. That's the most stylish superheterodyne, phased-antenna-array tin-foil hat that I've seen. I bet you can get signals from Laika even in Carlsbad Caverns, 750' underground. Your mind is never free to think. You're always in lockstep with GroupThink.

Comrades, let us remember the Emperor's New Clothes. After the little boy pointed out that he saw no clothes, the parade stopped, then moved on as though nothing had happened.

President Obama campaigns instead of talking with Bibi Netanyahu, who requested urgently a meeting about Iran. Well, of course Iran can wait until we get Obama back in power for his second, and last, and the last, election of the president.

Then Iran and the US can kiss and make up, and Iran can have the Middle East. We don't want that nasty old oil anyway; we have Solyndra II coming up. I see nothing at all bad about a liaison between fascistic Islamists and fascistic comrades.

Fraulein, I join the other Progs in welcoming you back. I too have missed your most, uh, interesting face. The head gear, I think. That's the most stylish superheterodyne, phased-antenna-array tin-foil hat that I've seen. I bet you can get signals from Laika even in Carlsbad Caverns, 750' underground. ....

ah yes, the conversation is always best when it focuses on your humble handmaiden, the most royal Fraulein. And I am most humbly proud of my glorious gearing on the head.

Now about those chairs, I found this lovely chair which I am sure belongs to our dearly beloved dearest leader, outside the White House back door entrance. Lovely, is it not??

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand