Mother pens book to help cope with son's death

Cover of the book "He Planted A Seed," a collection of poems Victoria author Irene Martinez wrote after the death of her son in 2005.

A quick glanceAn excerpt from "He Planted A Seed," by Irene Martinez:

"Listen"

When you see me sad and blue

When I don't know what to do

When I want to scream and cry

Just hold my hand and listen

When I talk about my son

And the things we used to do

When it seems I can't go on

Just hold my hand and listen

When I cry until I am dry

When I live but don't know why

When I speak about my pain

Just hold my hand and listen

When my pain does not subside

When the sadness I can't bide

When you don't know what to say

Just hold my hand and listen

To buy a copy"He Planted A Seed" by Irene Martinez costs $12.95.

It is available at the Bible Book Store in Victoria and online at www.smoothsailingpress.com

Although it's been five years, Irene Martinez still struggles every day with the death of her son, Jay.

In an effort to try to cope with the pain, she began writing letters to him, she said.

Eventually, those letters became poems and then the poems became a book.

"It's so hard losing a child, but writing helped me to let it all out and ease those days I was really hurting," Martinez said. "If you lost a child, reading the book may be too difficult but it is a great book to read if you know someone who has lost a child. It helps you understand what they're going through."

Titled, "He Planted A Seed," the book was self-published by Martinez through Smooth Sailing Press last year on the fifth anniversary of her son's death, who died at age 36. The book is composed of poems written by Martinez over the past five years as she went through the stages of grief, she added.

"In the beginning, you can see how devastated I am and how angry I got at people for the things they said. People think they know what it is like to lose a child, but they don't know unless they've been through it. It's not like losing a parent or brother or sister," she said. "Toward the end, though, you can see that I've accepted it and I praise God for giving him to us."

Martinez added that she's also grateful for what her son left behind, including a wife, children and, more recently, grandchildren.

The need to preserve his memory for his kids and the following generations was another strong motivator for Martinez.

"I want people to know he existed. I want someone to pick up the book and see that he lived and won't be forgotten," she said.