Anyone who knows Reading's road network will know that when the M4 closes the entire town grinds to a halt.

Unfortunately, in these situations there's not much you can do apart from sit in your car, use the chance to go through your CD collection anad have a good old think.

Having been in such situations many times before, getreading has looked at how people behave in a traffic jam.

We call it the "10 stages of traffic jam hell".

We hope it gives you at least a bit of a smile to ease your pain this morning.

1. Confusion

"What's this?" You think, as you crawl unwittingly into a complete and total nightmare.

"It'll soon pass"

2. Optimism

"It doesn't look that bad, I'll be through it in a jiffy

3. Realisation

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"Oh holy mother of Moses what have I done?"

4. Self-loathing

"Why didn't I leave earlier/later? Why didn't I go the other way?"

5. Gloom

"This is going to take AGGGGEEEESSSS"

6a. Rage

"Why isn't the radio telling me exactly how to get out of this?"

"What's that moron doing?"

"No way pal."

"Why are you beeping your horn? Where exactly am I supposed to go? You're not the only one who's trying to get to work are you?"

(The danger of course in this is you're a) so close you can have a proper, long and detailed, conversation, and b) there's nowhere to scarper to if it looks like it's going to get a bit tasty)

6b. More rage

What always happens in these situations is people, usually men, decide they're far too important for a traffic jam and start making their own rules.

In previous jams, we've seen instances of people virtually driving down the pavement to gain crucial yards, people trying to create a third lane off the roundabout onto the IDR, which of course just made it worse for the people who hadn't tried to cut corners.

What people don't seem to realise is behaviour like this actually causes more problems.

7. Acceptance

"Oh well, it could be worse"

8. Unrealistic fears

"How much fuel have I got?"

"What if my clutch goes?"

"What if I overheat?"

"This would be the worst possible place to break down!"

"What if that lorry breaks down?

(Outside Reading Fire Station) "What if the fire engine wants to get out?" (Yes, I know you shouldn't go into the keep clear bit but everyone was!)