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February 20, 2013

Amour (2012)

old French people

My favorite type of a movie is one that is utterly depressing. I love a good tragedy and generally, the more it can make me cry, the more I like it. So when I heard this movie is a suck-the-life-out-of-you downer about old people dying, I eagerly packed some tissues, bought a ticket, and settled in for what I thought would be a satisfying afternoon cry-fest. But I was wrong.

The movie is depressing all right, but not in a pleasant way. I actually read a review that described it as "not enjoyable and only sporadically entertaining." I couldn't have stated it better myself. The movie is not enjoyable. It's horribly boring at a lot of points, as you are basically just watching two old people live, then die. If you had grandparents who died a slow, painful death, and you camped out in their house 24/7 without doing anything to help, it would feel a lot like watching this movie. For the first 30 minutes, I could hear the rumbling from the theater next door, showing Argo and felt pangs of jealousy that they were being treated to a movie full of action and an entertaining plot. I had to dip into a stash of fruit roll-ups in my bag just to stay awake.

But as the movie went on, I became more invested in these old people. I started contemplating my own mortality and imagining what-if scenarios of my life to reflect their current state. But even the imaginary thought of living/dying in the manner this old woman in the movie does was too uncomfortable to think about for more than a few minutes. The entire movie felt like a slow motion Sports Center clip of someone shattering their ankle or falling on their neck or something - it's horrific, but you can't turn away. And after you've seen it, you wish you hadn't. But you still watch the multiple replays from every angle, cringing every time.

Oh, and the old lady deserves the Oscar. Hands down.

Final word: Every couple should be forced to watch this before getting married, sort of like how hospitals make you watch a horrific birthing video before having a baby.