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Curvy and Proud of It

For as long as I can remember, I have always been curvy. Sure, there were times when I weighed less than I do now (pre-baby obviously) but I think I’ve always been within that curvy spectrum. Like any normal girl, I struggled with some negative self-image, largely because of my body, but I can now proudly say that I am far behind it and have now reached a state where I am truly and positively happy with myself – curves and all.

Unfortunately, other people seem to have more problems with it than myself I can’t tell you how many times I have received negative comments regarding my weight, from the polite “You look ‘healthy’!” to the more blatant “Why are you so fat now?”. These comments used to upset me to no end, but I have learned to smile, ignore them and not let it get to me. Yes, those comments are rude but most of the people who make such comments do not intend to put me down on purpose, we are just conditioned to think that it’s okay to say those things and expect the people in the receiving end to not be offended. What I do instead, is try not to make those kinds of comments to other people, including making any fat jokes that is even more cruel and mean-spirited. Furthermore, I also try not to make comments/jokes about skinny people because I don’t think it’s okay to do that either. I just refuse to make body weight as a big issue because we have far more important ones to think and do something about.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging anyone to stuff themselves with junk food and be a couch-potato all their life. It is important to be healthy. But it’s also important to enjoy yourself. I am not a health-nut, but I try to live a healthy lifestyle. There is nothing more I love than wholesome meal made with the freshest ingredients and I try to do yoga as much as possible (though admittedly not as much I should lately). But one thing is clear, I will never be supermodel-thin and I am totally and utterly fine with it.

When it comes to fashion, I learn through trials and errors about what works and doesn’t work for me. Sure, I had moments where I wish I could wear this or that, but I don’t get hung up on what I can’t wear but focus on what I can. I love getting dressed up and dolled up and I refuse to give that up just because I don’t look like people on the magazines. I love dresses because they’re flattering and I slowly build my wardrobe with pieces that make me look and feel good. I avoid shops that only have small-sizes clothes and enjoy the thrill of finding places that cater to women in all sizes and shapes. In short, I am proud and embrace my curves wholeheartedly and I will teach my daughter to do the same.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this : we’ve only got 1 life and 1 body. Instead of putting all effort and money to change the body we’ve been blessed with, why not try to be the best we can be? We live in a weight-0bsessed world, that I don’t deny, but don’t let anyone dictate what you should look like. Be it curvy, skinny, short, boyish, big or small – simply own it and be happy

purplerebel
Thanks dit. I really like the sentence “if the train doesn’t stop at your station then it is not your train. but that doesn’t mean that there would be no train for you.” I’ll keep that in mind the next time I walk into a store and walk out empty-handed

body image has always been an issue that i concern the most. it really bothers me how the world has set one standard of beauty and women become the subject of the standard. look at the harm it has done, most women in the world can never accept their own body. regardless how great their body is, there would be something they hate about their body and they would want their body to be what it is not. and the notion about “women could never be skinny enough” is the meanest notion ever existed. it sends a wrong message to women. no wonder eating disorder becomes so rampant among young people of any race.
so kudos to you, affi, for writing this smart and beautiful piece!

in term of picking out clothes, there is a saying: if the train doesn’t stop at your station then it is not your train. but that doesn’t mean that there would be no train for you.
same goes with clothes, if the clothes don’t fit you, nothing’s wrong with your body. it’s just the clothes is not for you.

most important thing: be healthy, be pretty, be happy!

preacher: May 1, 2009 at 5:07 pm

hopefully this article could enlight every male species mindset that women are formed & molded by our CREATOR with curves, naturally designed to bear children & feed them. Thus, they’ll think billions of times before leaving their mother of their child for someone’s skinnier & not yet giving birth

modjo,
I’m sorry you feel that way I honestly have never read anyone making bad comments regarding other members’ physical appearance but if that happened to you, I am sure not everyone shares the same opinion. I hope you’d feel comfortable posting your TO in the forum because now I want to see how you rock it!

Koukla: April 28, 2009 at 8:17 pm

mamita,
Wah sama bgt! Gue jg sering bgt becandain bentuk tubuh gue. I think it’s important for us curvy girls to have a sense of humor about it and not take everything too seriously. This is also how I ‘combat’ those negative comments Daripada sakit hati mendingan becandain aja hehehe

to be honest yah, issue ini yang bikin aku males posting TO di forum. Just because I know there are some of them yang ga bisa liat the way I use the outfit- not my body. Somehow, I can see their eyes judging my body, again- not the outfit i wear.
Tho I am not proud of my body, because it is unhealthy- and I need to work so hard to achieve balance. Tapi gimanapun juga, proudly I say- sounds arrogant indeed, i can dress better than most of skinny girls out there =D

Rere,
That’s so true! One of my best friends is very petite (and I look like her mother whenever I walk with her) and people just assume I’m the one with the stronger and bolder personality and she’s the shy one, while the truth is she is much more feisty than me Yeah you’re right, it is a plus side!

Koukla, a girl after my own heart! I also found that size may influence people’s perspective about your personality. I observe that bigger built is likely to be associated with bolder, stronger personality. I’m considerably bigger built than my fellow Indonesian friends here, and I think it makes me stand out. People often say that I’m more outspoken and outgoing while my friends are more on the sweet and timid side, which is not true at all. But I think that’s a plus side of being bigger built, so I’ll take it as a compliment

Ria: April 27, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Hidup Koukla! *lho* =D

I’ve been always a heavy person (except when I was in KG ‘n early years of primary school hehe). ‘N it was hard to be skinny for me … coz of my curve (big Bs … boobs ‘n butt =D). Sometimes I didn’t bother, sometimes I just want to throw a ‘bakiak’ to anyone making comment about it LOL.
You know what … I get used to get that kinda comment only when I’m in Indonesia or inside Indonesian community. Sorry to say, but for me it’s always like this. ‘N since I moved to stay in Egypt, or let’s say when I was traveling abroad … never had I got sucha ‘sweet’ comment from anyone around. I don’t know … maybe in Indonesia (or Asia in general? cmiiw), the first impression is coming from the body shape.

Jingga
I’m glad you feel that way after reading this. Complaining and whining all the time is rather unattractive, don’t you think?

Pia
Thank you! I was also always the biggest and tallest amongst my friends and felt so self-conscious about it. So glad you agree with me about not wanting to waste anymore time and money to be thin

Bittersweet_cho
Ah that’s right, I totally forgot about those awful incidents that I also had thanks to my curves. Luckily I’m big enough to kick anyone’s ass if they ever try to do that to me again LOL

When people said that I looked way big…my usual retort would be “I’m not big, you are just small” I used to worry bout my weight, too. All through my life, I was either the tallest or the biggest. God knows the money I spent getting me to the “right” weight could be used to send 100+ poor kids to universities. Nowadays, I said, “that’s it!, I’ll watch what I eat, I loose weight when I need to and feel like it.”