When David Emami was young, he came to see a psychotherapist. This is due to the fact that he decided to quit his office job that was boring for him and moved back in with his family in order to figure out what he really wanted to do. David Emami tried to improve his self-esteem through repeating positive affirmations how many times a day – I am going to be successful and I can be able to do anything my mind wants me to do.

The psychotherapist told David Emami that the positive affirmations that he was using are not good, both psychologically and grammatically. However, the bigger problem is that there seems to be nothing in our lives that can help us reach our self-esteem and he told David Emami of Portland Oregon that he was not doing anything that will make him feel good about himself.

Indeed, David learned that he has to nourish his self-esteem even more. He learned that if he wants to feel good about himself, he has to do the things that will actually make him feel proud, appreciate that, accomplished, empowered, or respected, or think the most important steps that can make him feel that he is advancing towards his goals in life.

Five Steps on How to Nourish Our Self-Esteem

Avoid Using Generic Positive Affirmations

As a matter of fact, positive affirmations are just like empty calories. Certainly, you can tell yourself that you are great but if you do not really believe it, chances are that your mind will reject that particular affirmation and make you feel much worse as a result. In addition to that, affirmations only work when they are falling within the range of a person’s believability, as well as for people that have low self-esteem, they often do not work.

Identify Areas of Authentic Competency or Strength

In order to start building your self-esteem, it’s important that you identify what are the things that you are good at, what you do that others appreciate, as well as what you do well. It can be something small, like a single small step that is in the right direction, yet it certainly has to be something. For instance, if David was a loyal employee, that could have actually done the trick. However, he was not that dedicated. So, as a result, all the time he spent working in an office didn’t provide himself any self-esteem as well as emotional nourishment.

Learn to Demonstrate Your Ability

Once you have finally identified your specific area of strength, you should find ways on how to demonstrate it. If you are good in basketball, then join a basketball league. If you are a good writer, then post a poem to a Blog. If you are a good event planner, then organize a family reunion. The key here is that you should engage in the particular things where you do well.

Learn How to Tolerate Positive Feedback

The moment our self-esteem become slow, chances are that we become easily resistant to compliments. It is essentially very important that you work on how to accept compliments in a most gracious manner.