Following a series of convincing wins on the speedway track, London pop icon, Adele, has revealed that she puts her recent successes down to having undergone a female circumcision op performed by a neighbor from The Democratic Republic Of Congo at her home in Islington.

Speaking from outside the London Palladium – where she’s appearing in a series of concerts with Sir Cliff Richard – Adele, 57, told reporters: “I was watching a documentary on TV a couple of months ago condemning the practice of female circumcision, which is fairly widespread among the people of a number of African nations. Naturally, I immediately began to wonder whether having my own genitalia mutilated would enhance my career as a speedway rider which has been in the doldrums for a number of seasons. ”

Fortunately, one of my neighbours is a practitioner herself so I popped round one evening and had my…