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My daughter is an early developer

My 11-year-old daughter is big for her age and is already showing the first signs of her maturity. Right now she still had no idea what it is all about because I have not started telling her about the "facts of life". I am worried that she may be terrified when the time her menstruation comes and wonder where the blood came from. How should we go about explaining these things to her?

How To Prepare Your Daughter For Starting Her Period

Hi MomOfThree,

I have an 11 year old who will be turning 12 at the end of this month, and I, too, was noticing that she is starting to develop and I was concerned about her starting to menstruate. My husband and I were going to be away for 4 days, and I wanted to be sure she would be prepared if she started her period while we were away.

Being that I have an older daughter (21) and I'm a Pregnancy Consultant, I found it really easy to explain. The first thing I did was I asked her if she knew what it means to have a period every month. I think I've asked her to bring me pads in the past (when I've been on my period but didn't have pads with me) and being that I'm always so open about these kinds of things, I was pretty sure that I had told her that I bleed every month.

She said she was kind of familiar with the concept. So then I thought it would be good to explain what happens in a woman's body every month so that she would understand that the bleeding is the shedding of the uterine lining. We talked about how we (girls) are born with eggs, and when we start our periods, it's a sign that we released an egg, and once that starts, we will release an egg about once a month. I explained that the egg was only about the size of the top of a pin head.

I also explained that it takes an egg and a sperm to create a baby, and if the egg is fertilized by a sperm, then the fertilized egg (baby) will nestle down in the nutrient dense lining of the uterus and the lining of the uterus will not be shed. But if the egg is not fertilized by a sperm, then the nutrient dense lining of the uterus (endometrium) will be shed and this is when the blood comes out of your body for about 3-5 days each month.

I found a video which explained it well, and I had her watch it.

When it came to explaining how the sperm might or might not fertilize the egg, I just told her that there is something special that happens between a husband and a wife in order for the sperm to be able to fertilize the egg, and I would tell her more about this later. She was fine with this explanation.

I then took a pair of my underwear out of the drawer and got a pad and showed her how to place the pad on the underwear.

She understood everything and there was no stress or uncomfortable conversation. It's all very natural and a part of becoming a woman. If I'm not here when my daughter starts her period, she will feel comfortable asking her big sister any questions, and if I am here, she will probably just call me to take a look at her underwear and we will both know what it is and what to do.

Anyone else have any suggestions or experiences they would like to share?

It really isn't easy especially this is the first time for me. When I ask other mums their advice, some would say " Nobody really explained it to me and I got along fine." But I think it is important and our responsibility to discuss this with our daughters although it may seem awkward.

Personally speaking, I know I appreciated my mum being honest and open with me as I was growing up. I think it would be great if you could say to your daughter that she can always ask you anything and you will do your best to answer her questions.