What holds people back?

- Ever notice how some people who speakwith confidence in everyday conversationor in meetings at work or schoolsuddenly become stilted when they standand speak in a group setting?The person who two minutes ago was interesting,engaging, and confidentnow comes across as boring, disconnected,and lacking in confidence.What happened?Why is it that someone relaxedand confident in everyday conversationcan't be the same way always?After all, in one-on-one conversationor informal settings, they can be great communicators.

The problem is that a wave of awkwardnesswashes over people as soon as the spotlight is on them.They're fine just chatting, but when all eyesare on them, anxiety takes over.Part of the reason might actually be primal, you know.Neuroscientists tell us the ability to zero inon a target by fixing your gaze on the targetwas necessary for hunting prey.So back in the days when human beings livedin caves and were hunter/gatherers,if everyone in the cave was looking at someone,in other words, all eyes were focused on one person,it wasn't usually for a positive reason.

Being the center of attention was causefor worry and fear to set in.Fast forward to today and it's easy to seewhy many people are unnerved when a whole bunchof eyes are focused on them.Standing up and speaking in front of other peopleis terrifying for many people.Speaking in public can make us feel vulnerable.What if I say something wrong?What if they think I'm boring?What if I lose my place?Because I, myself, have flirtedwith public speaking anxiety,I know how terrifying it can be for some.

Aside from nerves, a number of factorshold people back from being confident communicators.Sometimes it's the high expectationthat people set for themselves,feeling a need to be perfect speakers,never saying "um or "uh."And then as soon as they stumble,that's all they can focus on, the stumble,and it can go downhill from there.For some, the issue is not knowing what to sayor a lack of preparation or a feelingthey don't know their subject well enough.Because after all, content is key.

Even the most confident of communicatorsneeds to know what they're talking about.All the confidence in the world will not maskthe fact we don't know what we're talking aboutif, in fact, that's the case.Others worry about the people they're talking toor an audience, if there is one.What if they challenge me?What if they disagree with what I say?What if they ask a question I just won't knowhow to answer?There are also those people who hada bad experience speaking in public in the pastand now, whenever they get up to speak,they say to themselves, "I hope I don't screw up.

I hope I don't screw up."And, of course, what should happen at that point?They disconnect from their subject.They disconnect from the audience.They disconnect from themselves.They screw up.And sometimes don't recover.Much of the problem can be blamed onwhat I refer to as Racing Brain Syndrome,or RBS.RBS happens when what you are sayingand what you are thinking are out of sync.In other words, your brain is hereand your tongue is here, and they're in a racewith each other.Usually, the brain leads the waywhile the mouth struggles to catch on.

Sometimes it's the other way around.And it's in the space between the brain and the tonguewhere nervousness kicks in as wefeverishly ask ourselves, "What am I going to say next?"At the same time, the heart starts to beat quickly.You discover you can't catch your breath.You end up talking quickly at this pointso you'll be finished faster.The problem oftentimes is that when it comesto being a confident communicator,people try hard.They work at it.They read books on how to be good at it.They go for speaker training or belongto clubs that focus on public speaking.

They try hard to be a better speaker.And some people, I imagine, do have to try hard.Most, though, oughta consider another approach.Instead of trying hard,how about trying easy?Throughout the rest of this course,we'll look at a few simple steps,and that's all it takes to transform ourselvesfrom uneasy speakers into connected,compelling, confident communicators.

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Released

6/3/2015

Most people are afraid of speaking in public, but effective oral communication is a key skill in business. Jeff Ansell provides simple communication tools, strategies, and tips that are easy to use and produce immediate results. He'll help you sound more confident, use body and language to better express ideas, and overcome anxiety. In the last chapter of the course, all these concepts are brought together in two real-world coaching exercises that will help you see the techniques in action.