Facing Up To Bullies, Everywhere But On Reality TV

Simon Cowell in his early days as an American Idol judge. The success of Cowell and others shows that bullying is acceptable, says Eric Deggans, so long as it's done on reality TV.

Kevin Winter
/ Getty Images

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Originally published on June 20, 2012 6:23 pm

Over the past couple of years, the topic of bullying has come to the forefront of public discourse: on TV, in social media, in newspapers and in movies.

So it only makes sense all this talk would eventually seep into the nation's largest Rorschach test: prime-time television. From Law and Order: SVU to The Simpsons, from House to Nurse Jackie, the word "bully" gets thrown around a lot these days, even when it's describing behavior that's less bullying and closer to rudeness.

It's wonderful to see anti-bullying messages featuring the stars of Fox's high-school drama Glee, but when a baker on the Food Network makes an anti-bullying cupcake, I'm not sure the message is really translating. Will a sign dipped in raspberry glaze stop a kid from getting shoved in a locker?

We've heard of bullying in so many public-service announcements and TV shows that the words may start to have less meaning. We're encouraged to see bullying as something only terrible people do; so disconnected from its reality, that people don't even realize when they're doing it.

For proof, look no further than Lifetime's combative reality show Dance Moms, where in-your-face instructor Abby Lee Miller stunned her students with an announcement on the next dance she's choreographing. "I am putting art on the stage," she tells the girls in her studio. "It's going to be about a bully."

It was stunning, mostly because Miller regularly bullies her students. She calls them lazy and boring. She yells at them to stop crying. These girls are 9, 10, 11 years old. When one of their mothers gets in Miller's way, she takes it out on the daughters.

But the truth is, reality TV loves bullies like Miller. Think about pugnacious chef Gordon Ramsay. This guy earns millions of dollars a year insulting contestants on Fox's MasterChef.

Their bullying is rewarded with fame and fat paychecks. That cash buys lots of spin from flunkies insisting they're just too honest for most people.

It's a seriously conflicted message: Bullying is bad when kids do it in school, but hugely profitable when adults do it in front of a TV camera. Small wonder we're all a bit confused when an earnest celebrity faces the camera and tells us "bullying kills." Because, too often in Hollywood, it's just a really good career move.

UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN #2: When you insult my dinosaur prom theme, that's bullying and I will not accept it...

DEGGANS: It's wonderful to see anti-bullying messages featuring the stars of Fox's high school drama "Glee."

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, GLEE)

DEGGANS: But I'm not sure that message translated to the Food Network's "Cupcake Wars."

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOW, CUPCAKE WARS)

UNIDENTIFIED MAN #6: The third cupcake is an anti bullying cupcake...

DEGGANS: Really? Will a sign dipped in raspberry glaze stop a kid getting shoved in a locker?

We've heard of bullying in so many Public Service Announcements and TV shows, that the words have less meaning. We're encouraged to see bullying as something only terrible people do; so disconnected from its reality, that people don't even realize when they're doing it.

For proof, look no further than Lifetime's combative reality show, "Dance Moms."

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOW, "DANCE MOMS")

ABBY LEE MILLER: Girls, let's go. Come on....

DEGGANS: In-your-face instructor Abby Lee Miller stunned her students with this announcement on the next dance she's choreographing.

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOW, "DANCE MOMS")

MILLER: I am putting art on the stage. It's going to be about a bully.

DEGGANS: It was stunning, mostly because of clips from past shows where Miller spoke to the young girls in her classes like this...

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOW, "DANCE MOMS")

MILLER: Boring, yawning, sloppy...

DEGGANS: And this...

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOW, "DANCE MOMS")

MILLER: You get out there and you're like a zombie. You're like sleeping half the time.

DEGGANS: And this...

(SOUNDBITE OF SHOW, "DANCE MOMS")

MILLER: Stop with the tears. Babies cry. Not you.

DEGGANS: If Miller needed an accurate model of a bully, she only had to look in the mirror.

Their bullying is rewarded with fame and fat paychecks. That cash buys lots of spin from flunkies insisting they're just too honest for most people. It's a seriously conflicted message: Bullying is bad when kids do it in school, but insanely profitable when adults do it in front of a TV camera.

Small wonder we're all a bit confused when an earnest celebrity faces the camera and tells us bullying kills, because, too often in Hollywood, it's just a really good career move.