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Thursday, June 16, 2011

You're going to think I'm making this up.

I started this post last week and never had a chance to publish. So, here you go - a week later and I still feel like I have a stress hangover...

Tuesday night I was up sick all night. Barfy sick. I woke up just long enough to call off work and hand Olivia over to gramma and papa before I slept until 4 p.m.

Oh, yes. And also? I called and found out that Ainsley had pneumonia.

Thursday I felt decent enough to go back to work. So I did. And then after work I went to visit Ainsley. While I was at the hospital, I got a text from Mark:

"Liv is having a seizure."

So then Olivia had a big ass febrile seizure and Mark called 911. And instead of taking her to Children's, they insisted on taking her to the closest shit ass no idea how to deal with children ER despite our protests.

By the time I drove the 30 minutes from Children's to the ER to see Olivia, they were already arranging to have her transported. To Children's.

AND THEN we spent two nights at the hospital for...a virus. Olivia came home Saturday night happy and demanding to watch Toy Story.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! So then Mark went to visit Ainsley early this morning and while he was holding her he noticed that she was acting strange. Her hand kept twitching and her thumb was clamped down and he couldn't move it.

Because...She was having a motherfucking seizure!

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. I'd love to write more but I am way busy hanging padding on every wall in my house so that I can commence necessary insane behavior. I'd say send cookies, but I have 30 pounds to lose so send spanx I guess.

This is enough!! I personally have and enough and I'm not even you guys!!

For the love of all things good in this universe-to include your sanity, your homes interior decor and for those of us readers who just need to see that every now and then the good guys aren't being kicked to shit while they are down again, and again, and again, and again...We need this to stop. I'd say I'm praying for you guys-but that's not even really it anymore-I am actually demanding that the universe (and maybe even threatening it at the same time-so an angry demand) that the tide changes-and immediately!

I share the incredulity, this is totally unbelievable and terrible. It can't keep pouring on you all like this, it just can't. If there is anything I can do, other than be incredulous at the end of a keyboard please let us all know. Very glad Olivia is home and well and poor Ainsley, the girl has guts. Nobody could deny you as much insane behaviour as you feel like, insane-away, you have to keep going somehow. Sending love to you all.

Damn. Just damn. Cookies dipped in vodka and filled with pot. I guess?? Just trying to be helpful, you know? Cuz I got nothing over here. I REALLY hope things look up for y'll. I think of your family often.

Could I send vodka? Or the alcoholic beverage of your choice? Because if I were you at this point, I would be a raging alcoholic. The week my daughter was hospitalized for the same thing as your Olivia, I had a miscarriage as well. I dealt with that whole shitstorm (which also included pneumonia for my daughter) by getting wasted and playing MarioCart with my husband. It was fun. I actually laughed, and it sounds like you could use a laugh.

There is this line in the book The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan where she's frustrated by many different medical trauma's within her family and she said that she just wanted to go into the garage and not open the garage door and start the car and move it forward and backward all while slamming into the walls and pissing herself the whole time. Just reading that one part made me feel better when I was going through some B.S. medical crap.

What.The.Fuck. Seriously how much shit can one person be given? Ugh. You and your family don't deserve this. I'm hoping that everything turns around soon and you don't have to see a hospital for a LONG ASS time.xoxo

I am so sorry to hear this. I've been following this blog for a few months but have read every single post, you were the first blog I followed, and just adore it. If I knew your address/po box I would send spanx AND cookies, because after the week you've had you deserve a cookie, or 20. I am so so so sorry Jen, and we are ALL here for you, sending e-hugs and well wishes. Your probably the nicest person I have ever "met" and for this to happen is just horrible.

I don't know you, and I haven't even followed you for very long, but I'm in tears reading. This is too much. You should not have to go through all of this. I'm so sorry for all you're having to endure. I will be praying for your family. God owes you big time.

man, and to think by the title that I was sure you were going to tell us that you were pregnant. Boy, was I off. I'm sorry, this is a stinker of a situation (and that's keeping it 'G' rated, I know there are other adjectives probably going through your mind more descriptive than 'stinker')

Wow, that does sound like something out of a movie. If only it was... So sorry to hear. I hope the padding is extra good! I don't really know what else to say except I'm sorry & I hope things return back to your "normal." I read your blog faithfully and while I don't post much, I think of you and your family & say a little prayer for you all.

Wow. As my Dad says anytime something really awful happens... THAT IS JUST BULLSHIT. Of course, this? Is total FUCKING bullshit.

You must have the worlds biggest catchers mitt, though, because you are catching absolutely everything the cosmos is throwing at you. Wait - I realize that might sound bad, but catchers WANT to catch things. It means they are not losing control of what is coming their way. Even when they think a ball has gotten past them, they can be surprised that the ball is right there, in their mitt.

You might feel like all hell has broken loose, and far ne it from me to tell you it hasn't... but I'll bet if you look in your mitt, you will find you still have the ball.

Take care of you, Jen! Eat, drink (water first, then alcohol), stretch and don't forget to breathe. In a battle of you vs. shitstorm the cosmos is throwing at you, I would bet the house on you.

I am so SORRY this is all happening to you! Please,try to take care of yourself. Screw the pounds and eat the damn cookies. Drink a pitcher of chocolate martinis to wash them down. You've earned it. I am sending every extra ounce of sanity I can spare your way.

I agree, eat the cookies a drink whole milk to wash them down... or something stronger! I cannot even fathom going through what you already have, and the fact it just keeps coming... ugh. Sending lots of prayers!

For Heaven's sakes! Once you get these girls home and together they are going to owe you and your husband diamonds and cruise ship vacations on every Mother's and Father's day for the rest of your lives! Stressful little buggers! Bless them both and all of you. You're doing great - hang in there and know you have lots of prayers and good thoughts from all of us!

I never comment but have been following your blog for a while. I just want you to know that I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I hope your beautiful daughters heal and recovery quickly.I guess I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

Wow, I get totally knocked on my ass just by getting the stomach flu, let alone all this other drama! You're seriously super mom. I wish there was something I could do for you, but I don't know where your number, or where you live, or oh wait, you! But if it means anything, a stranger sends positive thoughts you way surprisingly often.

I too have never commented before bu wanted to tell you today that I follow your blog, am continually thinking good and healing thoughts for Ainsley and your whole family and that I really admire you. Your honesty and humor in the face of hideousness is incredibly inspiring.

I'm so sorry you guys just can't seem to catch a break. To hell with the spanx, you just keep on self medicating with cookies until Ainsley is home with her big sister and breathing on her own. Sending love your way.

Wow. Here's hoping everything gets resolved, your stress level decreases, and your lovely little ladies stay healthy and seizure-free! In lieu of cookies, would you like a random little tidbit of information to puzzle on when you need a second of mental escape? Here it is: your site is inaccessible from Tibet. I was there in February, and I wanted to check in and see how you were doing, so I jumped on the hotel wifi in Lhasa and entered your web address, but no dice. I knew that some news outlets and many blogs on blogspot and some on wordpress would be inaccessible, because China is currently occupying Tibet and restricts internet access, but I had no idea that your radical awesomeness presented such a threat to the Chinese government that they would block your site from the (not so) average infertile American tourist chilling in Lhasa. I guess they, like me, realize that you would make a most excellent and charismatic leader for an uprising of women who have had it up to HERE with the stupids, and so they have rightly learned to fear you. Rock on with your bad self, striking terror into the hearts of Chinese Internet Censors.

I think about you and your family every day and hope every day that things will get better. I pray they will. I have had a crazy year (not as crazy as yours) and I just keep laughing or else I will go ape shit on all the wrong people. Praying that you have a magical turn around soon.

This is one of those moments when my mother would (unwisely) say something like, "Well just remember, God never gives us more than we can manage." And I would reply something like, "God is obviously on crack this week." --- So I'm not gonna say God never gives you more than you can handled, and I will gladly punch in the face anyone who says something like this to you.

Also, I'm not going to tell you to keep the faith, hang in there, or tell you the sun will come out tomorrow. When your babies are sick, there's always at least one moment when you are confident the sun will NOT come out tomorrow. When you're sick too, there is no sun. There is only your head in the toilet.

So, don't hang in there or keep the faith. Eat some cookies. With ice cream on top. Do it for me, because I don't have an excuse to eat what I want right now. You have every right to eat your weight in desserts right now. I "pitythefoo" who tries to suggest you should NOT eat desserts in excess during this season of your life.

I know you will most likely never read this seeing as how I am the 81st commenter...but I just wanted to say that I think you are incredible, truly. I don't know you, but I know enough to think you are stronger than I could ever hope to be, whether you feel strong right now or not. I wish so badly that there was something more I could do for you other than leave you a comment telling you I will be praying for you and your family. I feel like you have amazing things coming your way because, really, there'd BETTER be.