Brave enough (Anonymous)

onMonday, April 5, 2010

I have a secret……I am brave enough to strut for my husband, brave enough to let him touch any place on my body, brave enough to call myself sexy and actually KNOW that I am. I am brave enough to not second guess my husband when he says I am the most beautiful, I am brave enough to be an amazing mother to all of my children, to let them know I love my life, my body and the gifts that God has given me. I am brave enough be confident, to know that I “still got it”, brave enough to thank God for the FLAWLESS way my body preformed a miracle perfectly, 5 times!

Yet I still am not brave enough to share that secret with the world. I am not brave enough to show anyone else this stretched and scarred belly. Because I am confident now, I am too afraid that the words, thoughts and “sympathetic looks” that they give me for having such a road map of a belly will somehow strip that confidence from me. I am afraid I will feel shame and embarrassment for the body which has been so good to me and my family. I am afraid I will feel inadequate to the person that states that they had their children and still have a stomach that is smooth, not etched with stretch marks and skin.
Maybe someday I will be brave enough to show to the world what the shape of THIS real mother looks like? Or maybe not? Either way, in my home, my husband and children at least have the example of having a wonderfully confident and brave example of a mother who does not call herself “ugly “or “mis-shapen” but lets her family she her “scars” in all their glory and does not apologize for them.

I will admit, I have thought of “fixing” the area after I am through with this pregnancy. If for nothing else, to feel like I am not leading a double life. So that the confidence I feel at home extends to while I am in the eye of others. Is that “selling out”? I don’t think so. I think it would be my choice and whether I decide to do it or not I am still beautiful and strong and my kids know that!

Thank you so much for sharing – you brought tears to my eyes. I love your courage to feel so confident around your husband. And thank you for reminding us that our bodies provide miracles! I, too, think your body is beautiful.

You look gorgeous!! Your stomach is so flat and you have a tiny waist! I think your current tummy skin is so aesthetic and interesting…the cellular arrangement is slightly different from the boring “cement” of a non-mom and texture is awesome. At least I think!

As for your other concern, all surgery should be weighed with pros and cons. It is not selling out if your pros outweigh your own cons. It’s simply a decision that you make regarding an elective medical procedure. We have the technology to do it safely, but it’s still not for everyone. So that is totally your call.

Bravo! I confess that I am not even in the “double life” stage yet. I don´t outright hide my belly from my husband, but I don´t exactly prance around. I think part of the problem is looking JUST at our bellies, or focusing just on the part/s that drive us crazy. I see your belly, and I wince because it looks like mine. At the same time, I am comforted by the fact that this is normal, that this is what happens, that this is what most of us look like, and that the airbrushed, nipped and tucked specimens we see more often are NOT. I think, however, that if I saw your whole body, the entire you, that I would find you (including your belly) beautiful and extremely brave. I try to do this with myself when I stand, sometimes defeated, in front of the mirror. I think our husbands are right, and I think we need to zoom out the focus and appreciate the entire picture of who we are and what we have done. Thank you for doing this, you have made me think, appreciate, and reflect on an issue that has been bothering me for some time. I admire your courage and honesty. Thank you.

I know what you mean about “double life”! I look so beautiful, stylish, and even sexy with clothes on. Lots of men turn their heads to look at me (including husband). But I feel that I wouldn’t get any of those looks if I were on the beach in a bikini (except from husband). It IS a double life.

I don’t show anyone because I think women get mean satisfaction from seeing us scarred like that, of coures that also means I guess it made us better people in a way. And most bellies in that kind of light wouldn’t look great marked or not, we do have to put it in perspective. I know I would be far from perfect at my age, marks or not.

My mother had 4 children. She doesn’t have the classic c-section many women have now. She has a vertical line (as it used to be) and her skin is similar to yours, but my brothers and I always wanted to touch her right there. It was the sacred place where life began.
It’s just beautiful and your kids know that!
I know my children know that too! they love touching my stomach!
Congratulations! You look great!

congrats for your strong thinking!
i had more or less your skin with only one baby, with my navel looking outside… hernia! then… only 20 days ago i’ve just repaired… and always gotted contradicted feelings about do it… finally i acceed and forget all comments of everyone (so hard listen family comments about repair myself :'( )

at least i want explain to you… last summer, when i still having my strange belly i weared bikini and forget all people looking at me, because i were and i am normal as everyone!!

in a few days i will sent new photos of myself repaired, for the moment you can see my pics.
i know you will still strong, and i don’t want made you think about repair, i’m only talking about myself, i prefer to repair it and feel secure again for myself, not for the others!! only for myself!!
kisses and still feeling sexy because you are!!