Friday, March 9, 2012

Is Vijay Mallya Bapu's reincarnation?

Often, I get comments to my posts, that are extremely thought provoking. And today, I got a rather thought provoking comment on my previous post from a certain Mr. "Squirrel" about Mahatma Gandhi's reincarnation.

I had asked for suggestions on who would be the right candidate for Bapu's reincarnation, with the basic assumption that whoever was destined to be the Mahatma's reincarnation, would have a life, that would be a party. Well, more or less.

Mr. Squirrel tends to think that it could be Mr. Vijay Mallya. If you are one of those readers of the Peanut Express, who is not very familiar with Indian celebrities, you would perhaps ask the same question that I had asked many years ago, when someone had told me about Vijay Mallya.

"Who the hell is Vijay Mallya?"

Mr. Mallya is the owner of one of the most popular brands of beer in India, known as Kingfisher. In fact, many years ago, when I found out that the word horse-piss was used for really bad beer, I wanted to use it in a conversation. And then, the chance came, when a friend had taken me to a microbrewery, and had me taste some really bad beer.

"So, what do you think?" He had asked rather expectantly, after I had my first gulp.

"Well, I can't really say for sure, but I would say that it kinda-sorta tastes like horse-piss." I had said.

"Yes, I have. It is bottled in India and sold under the name Kingfisher. I can get you a bottle any day you want one. Would you like me to?"

Mr. Mallya owns Kingfisher. And, he also owns an airline with the same name. I am told that the airline has recently reached similar levels of excellence that the beer had, a long time ago.

Mr. Squirrel's question had me intrigued. So, I called my priest, who is on my speed dial, and asked him what he thought about Vijay Mallya being Bapu's reincarnation. Of course, you probably have guessed by now, the first question that he asked me.

"Who the hell is Vijay Mallya?"

After a brief round of explanations, and the connection to Bapu, he paused for a few minutes. And then, like a true pundit-jee, he said, "Forget about Bapu-jee, if the Dakshina is large enough, I can prove to you that Mr. Vijay Mallya is the reincarnation of a bottle of beer. Any brand you choose."

All right. I rest my case.

One last thing. Bapu died in Delhi. Mr. Mallya was born in Calcutta. I drew a line on the map of India, connecting the two cities, to trace the path Bapu's soul would have possibly traveled before it was reincarnated. And surprise, surprise, I found that it must have traveled over the town that one of my favorite Urdu poets was originally from -- Sultanpur in U.P.

Majrooh Sultanpuri, in one of his famous creations from 1953, had written:

humare baad ab mehfil me afsane bayan honge

baharen humko dhundhengi, na jane hum kahan honge

When I am gone, stories will be told in gatherings about me.

The spring will look for me, but no one will know where to find me.

I am sure that if Bapu was still alive in 1953, and he heard this masterpiece by Majrooh, this is exactly what he would have said about where his soul would be. Reincarnation or not.

Desi Babu, You are jealous of the great Vijay MallyaJi and it clearly shows. First you admit that you love beer and in the next breath you contradict yourself when you say, you didn't know who Mr.Mallya is? How can it be possible, Mallya is for beer as Surf is for Detergent powder.And then you introduce a priest, who at first sounds like Sage Vashisth reincarnate, when he asks who the hell is Vijay Mallya and the next sentence he speaks like the agent of Lucifer by asking for raise in Dakshina.The biggest blaspheme you commit is you compare Kingfisher to Horse Pee. That's almost criminal behaviour Desibabuu, for us Desis it is manna from heaven. Given an opportunity i would declare it as national drink.The Peerless Vijay MallyaJi, I am sure is a reincarnation of anything that would result when you fuse together "Beer and Bikini". I say your priest doesn't know his job. He only saw the right hand of Mallya Ji, he missed the more delicious bikini clad thing dangling on his left hand.

Jokes apart, Desi Babu, if you have seen the film Anand by Hrishikesh Mukherjee, There is an immortal line uttered by Amitabh Bachchan at the end: Anand Marte Nahin, Anand Mara Nahin Karte.

Although this is controversial, many believe that the good old Khan died of old age, and so, he may have been liberated from the shackles of Karma..I have a feeling that if Genghiz Khan was reborn in this century, he would be born as a lady, and eventually, end up as the Chief Minister of the great state of West Bengal.