This is for ctoan, who added me to her flist based on my promise to write her something. I think I hit the things she likes best. :) Unbeta-ed, wrote it in an afternoon, but I swear my spelling and grammar are always perfect.

Title: To DoFandom: The OCTimeline: Between "The Debut" and "The Outsider," Season 1Rating: GWord count: 1350

Kirsten tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, ignoring the beat of her Joni Mitchell CD as she waited for the gate to open. She smiled at the guard, drove the Range Rover through into the winding streets of the neighborhood, took a deep breath to shake off the meeting. Thanks so much, Dad. I really appreciate being undercut like that. No, not a problem, not at all, I'm sure I'll be able to make other deals with them where they take me seriously. She took another deep breath and actively unclenched her jaw. She was home early, for the first time in months. She'd relax. Maybe swim. Walk along the beach. What good was it having a home on the beach if you couldn't enjoy it? "Maybe Sandy has it right," she said to herself, and slammed the car door. "I could surf. Learn to surf. Except I never liked salt water."

Inside, Kirsten dropped her keys and meeting folder on the kitchen island, and stood there at a loss. It was too early to eat, and if she started actually making dinner, the entire house would explode. What to do? What did she used to do? Before Newport, what was there?

Well, there was Seth. But Seth didn't need her nearly as much as he did when he was a year old. There was macrame. All those plant hangers she gave away, to people who had no use for plant hangers. They must've thanked God when she finally moved away and there was no more macrame glut. There was housecleaning, but that was taken care of now, and she wouldn't know where to begin anyway—

There was a noise behind her. "Hey, Seth," she said. "Yes, Mom's home, and no, I didn't get fired."

"Oh," said a deeper voice. He cleared his throat. "I wasn't going to ask if you had."

"Ryan," she said, turning around to see him standing in the doorway. "Sorry, I'm used to Seth. I try to head him off." She smiled in a manner she hoped was reassuring.

"Yeah, I get that," said Ryan, smiling halfway. His whole body was tense, each hand balled up and shoved under his crossed arms. "Um, I don't mean to bother you, but have you heard from Mr. Cohen?"

"Sandy? No, not today, why? Is everything okay?" Kirsten frowned.

"Yeah. Yeah, I mean, nothing's happened or anything. I was just supposed to—he was going to come home early." Ryan shifted, clearly uncomfortable. "I have to go downtown, and he was going to take me."

"Downtown where?" Kirsten saw the message light blinking on the phone. "Hang on, maybe that's him." She picked up the phone and dialed voice mail. It was Sandy's voice on the other end:

Hey, everyone. Ryan, if you're listening, I'm going to be late. Things got crazy down here, and I can't break away right now. Go ahead and call to reschedule, and we'll do it another day, okay? I'll be home by dinnertime. See ya.

She held the phone out to Ryan and let him listen. His face was blank while Sandy spoke, and while he handed the phone back. "Okay, then."

"Well, wait, where are you going? I can take you. All afternoon, and I have nothing to do." Kirsten smiled.

"It's not an inconvenience," said Kirsten briskly, retrieving her keys and purse. "Reschedule what?"

Ryan rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. "Meeting with my probation officer." His voice was quiet.

"Oh." Kirsten stopped for a second, then headed to the door. "What time is your appointment?"

"Four-thirty," said Ryan, looking sideways at her.

"We can make it if we hurry. Come on."

***

Ryan was silent on the ride down, staring out the window. Kirsten didn't push him to talk. It was awkward enough as it was.

She liked Ryan. She really did. She could see what Sandy saw in him, the intelligence, the vulnerability that would lead a stronger person to take advantage of him. He's not a bad kid, Sandy had said, and Kirsten knew it was true.

But she'd never expected this to happen. Never planned to be driving a child to meet with a police officer, to be responsible for feeding and clothing him and keeping him out of any more trouble. And though Kirsten believed Ryan when he said he was through with that, the fact remained... she didn't know. Not for sure, not like she would have with Seth.

***

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Kirsten asked as she pulled into the parking lot.

"No, no, it's fine," said Ryan hurriedly. He didn't look her in the eyes. "It shouldn't take that long. I'll come right out when I'm done."

"Take your time," Kirsten called after him, then rolled her eyes at herself. As if Ryan was enjoying this any more than she was. He disappeared into the police station, and she settled herself with some contracts.

It seemed like only a few minutes until he came back out again. Kirsten squinted at her watch. Forty-five? Sandy was right, she must be one of the most boring people alive to become so engrossed in business documents. There was a time she read actual books, had a life outside of work. What happened to that person?

"Everything okay?" she asked.

Ryan nodded. "I'm sorry to have dragged you out here. Traffic's going to suck going back."

"It's fine," said Kirsten. "Honestly. I wasn't doing anything. I'm glad I could help out." They pulled out onto the freeway.

Ryan mumbled something.

"What was that?" asked Kirsten.

"I just... was..." Ryan looked out the window again. "You shouldn't have had to. I'm sorry." He looked back at her briefly, and the shame in his eyes was apparent.

It hit her. Hard. She turned her attention back to the road and tried to think of what to say. "I don't want you to think," she began, "that this—any of this—is okay to just do. Both Sandy and I would be very upset if you did anything else that got you into trouble. Not because it makes us angry, or because it inconveniences us. Because it makes things that much worse for you. That's what we're worried about." She took a deep breath, darted a glance to see how he was reacting. He held himself still.

"If it was driving you to water polo practice—"

"I'm not playing water polo," Ryan interrupted.

"All right, fine, just an example. I wouldn't care if I had to come home early every day to do that, and I know Sandy wouldn't either. So this..." She waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the police station. "This, right now, falls into that category. It won't, ever again, if you do something else that gets you in trouble. But you've assured us that's not going to happen—"

"It's not."

"—and I believe you." Kirsten cut around a Hummer doing thirty. "The cause of this is something that's taken care of. So until probation ends, just think of this as a ride home from water polo."

Ryan was quiet then, and Kirsten didn't know what else to say, so she didn't say anything. They rode back to Newport in silence, Ryan staring out the window. There wasn't a sound until they pulled into the driveway and Kirsten shut off the engine.

"Mrs. Cohen?"

Kirsten paused in the act of sliding out of the car. "Mmm?"

Ryan looked straight at her. "Thank you. For the ride, and—all of it." There was that tentative smile again.

Kirsten shouldered her purse and followed him. She'd call for Chinese, then call Sandy and tell him everything was taken care of. There were things for her to do. At least one place where she was needed.

*blushes* Gah, it's been so long since I wrote anything. I forgot what it's like for other people to read it. :)

Thank you. :) I like her too, a lot. I never was upset with her like other people were at the beginning, because dude, it's her family, and here's this random guy and all she knows about him is that he was in jail. :)

I really love the parental dynamic on the show. Seth just kind of seems to blow them off when he's at odds with them, but Ryan always takes them very seriously. I love it. :)

Eeee! Thank you so much. And you're right. You did hit the things I like best. Ryan and Kirsten, and uncertainty and bonding and *sigh*. Beautiful. Totally worth the friending (not that it wasn't before this).

I was totally thinking of you today as I was doing my hour of shovelling (Mark had already done an hour of shovelling and we almost have the whole driveway clear). We had a killer dump of snow and the whole province (along with PEI and NB) was shut down today.

*blushes more* Hee. :) I adore uncertain Ryan. I missed him this season, but he showed back up again when he wanted to invite Lindsay to Christmukkah, and Sandy had that reaction. Yay!

It just hit me when I was watching TBCE a couple weeks ago, and Ryan and Marissa got pulled over, and he mentioned he was still on probation-- we never see him dealing with that. How long is it for, and who takes him down there? So that got me to thinking about the first time he had to go, and... :)

We had a killer dump of snow and the whole province (along with PEI and NB) was shut down today.

Wow, it must have been severe for it to shut down everything! You're thinking I'm insane for wanting to move, huh? :) Well... I dunno. I can deal with snow okay. I figure if I could move from Florida to Massachusetts and not flip out, I could move from DC to NS. I mean, that was going from no snow to OMG-it's-snowing-again-and-it's-mid-April.

No, we don't have a snow plow. Mark's truck if 4WD, but my car isn't. We park at the end of the driveway when a storm is coming, so there's not lots to do to get out. I was just doing the part of the driveway that'll be nice to get done. And it had just rained on Saturday and cleared away the driveway down to the gravel.

I would have loved for the show to have dealt with Ryan's probation and how it affected him and the Cohens. But since they didn't, your story is the next best thing. You should write more often.

Hey, came here on ctoan's rec - and I'm very pleased I did. Very nice fic that - touching, and sweet, and something that could have, should have happened around that time. Your Kirsten sounds very right. As does your Ryan, still silent, and ashamed, and not wanting to impose (and altogether a different boy from now...)

(I might just take - slight - exception to the macrame, because - to me - macrame is really rooted in the early to mid-seventies, when Kirsten would have been twelve or something, but so many people, including Josh Schwartz, situate Kirsten and Sandy's college days in a kind of Haight-Ashbury haze instead of the eighties that I feel I'm fighting a rearguard action there....) Also, it is such a minor, tiny detials

Fine fic. Fine. And very enjoyable - it made me want to re-watch early eps. In fact, might just do that now...

I'm kind of stuck on the early eps, because those are the ones I've rewatched the most. I just fell in love with Ryan immediately, and the early ones really focus on him, so. :)

I hear you about the macrame. I was basing it on the comments on living in a bus and stinking of patchouli. Maybe Kirsten was a little behind the trend? :) If I were going to try and brush up the story, though, I'd probably change it to bead-weaving or something. Which I did a lot of in the early 90s. :)

I was always sad that they didn't show more bonding moments like this on the show. I followed Ctoan's link and I'm glad I did - this was lovely, and just right for Kirsten's uncertainty with how to deal with this unknown boy who's now hers.

Thank you! I'm with you on the bonding. I would happily watch this show if it became a single-family drama. I really wish they focused more on characters than on newer and more bizarre storylines. But I guess that's what fanfic is for. :)

a Hummer doing thirty? That's so wrong. All kidding aside, this was quite good. I loved Ryan's awkwardness, calling Kirsten and Sandy Mr. and Mrs. Cohen, looking down at the floor, the halting conversation. And I liked Kirsten's parenting moment, showing her trust in Ryan, trying to open herself up to Ryan.

I'm sorry - I've been meaning to send you a review. Ctoan mailed this to me while I was out sick. And I loved it. I love all Kirsten/Ryan and Cohen+1 stories. Well, those that are well written, and this is well written. I'd love to see some of this kind of stuff on the show - where she can be there for Ryan. So sweet.And I did macreme when I was younger!! hee. And I'm Kirsten's age. Well, no, I'm Kelly's age. I can't figure out how old Kirsten is supposed to be.