5 Reasons Not To Move To East Texas

East Texas may seem like heaven on earth with our perfect weather, and abundance of space. Trust me when I say you don't want to live here. Have you ever seen a rattlesnake up close? Not cool.

Beside that, here are my thoughts on what might make you think twice about moving to the "Pineywoods."

1

Guns

Have an issue with guns? We don't have too many problems with them in East Texas. Since everyone has them, they don't really bother us that much. So get strapped, or wait for a local to protect you.

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2

Pollen

Oh, my what beautiful trees. You better think twice, you are going to be miserable. Sneezing, itching, watery eyes, they are all a daily part of life here. If you have ever wondered why all those allergy medicine commercials are so over dramatic, they aren't. You will need to take one or two every day you live here.

Dimitri Zimmer, ThinkStock Images

3

Humidity

It has not been under 60% humidity in my house during the summer ever. We are used to it, when we leave here, we feel like fish out of water, and dry up fast. Leave your moisturizer at home, and get yourself some heavy hold hairspray, cause you are gonna be a frizzy haired freak.

4

Beef, Chicken, Pork

If you love all the animals, and don't want to see any harm come to them, get ready for a wake up call. I can't think of a beautiful furry animal that I haven't seen on a wall, grill, or in a cage in this area. So if you have an issue with that, you might want to stay put.

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5

Country AND Western

Country music is great in my book, love it, and it pays the bills. When I DJ a dance or wedding reception, at some point I am going to have to play a two-step. Even a middle school dance. Right after you play the latest club banger from Drake, you are going to have to mix in some Florida Georgia Line. But western, that is where I draw the line. It's like John Wayne running a cattle drive to the Alamo. Just too much extra.

Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

Still thinking about invading our territory just to get out of the cold. Fine by me, just know that you have been warned.