THE NEW YORKER HOLY HOLL YWOOD I NCREDIBLE and inscrutable are the ways of Destiny. The Mo- tion Picture, sometime enfant ter- rihle of the Arts, has for a long time been on equal economic terms with oil, steel, and automobiles, and is now on the way to a position of spiritual and mora] dominance which bids fair to equal that of the great religions of mankind. The signs all indicate that Hollywood is preparing to offer the world its new religion, and is already holding aloft a torch as a spiritual guide to all men. The inspired Mr. Cecil B. de Mille has really set the ball a-rolling, though the great Mr. Hays (not the Cardinal) must also be given some credit therefor. Fired to a certain fervor by his cinema production of the story of Christ, Mr. de Mille, we read in the public prints, has delivered an edict to the effect that all actors employed by him must lead moral lives and that all future contracts with him will contain a guarantee by the actor to live a pure and holy life. Imagine the cumulative effect of this in a few years' time. The movie actor of the future will pause before the commission of any act which might be construed as improper in any way, and will consult with his con- science or his lawyer as to whether such an act might constitute a breach of contract. Gradually the desire to do wrong will depart from him through natural atr0,phy, and he will really be- come a holy person of whom any nice girl could say reverently: "He's a movie actor, Mother," just as she said in the old days: "He's a minister, Mamma" There will be no more of those wild Hollywood parties. The ghastly spectre of Breach of Contract will have turned them into prayer meetings. Divorce will become un- known, the horror of infidelity will be banished forever, and the sanctity of the moving-picture home will prove a model for all good families. Even marriage, among the stricter members of the sect, may be shunned in favor of a life of celibacy. T HUS will the new religion arise to which the whole weary world will look, its high priests the great stars and directors of the noble pic- ture industry, and its acolytes chosen from the lesser fry of supers, con- tinuity writers and camera men. Hol- lywood will be its Mecca and Holy City. The Papal authority will be vested in one great leader, possibly Mr. de Mille himself, a number of Archbishops will be created among such prominent memberi as W. S. Hart, Harold Lloyd, John Gilbert, Harry Langdon, Douglas Fairbanks, Chester Conklin, et al., while Messrs. . . ,<_..e& , ..,:-... .... ,." - 7 -7 ., ; _. Z':.#. ; : y :> : '- . ' -G::..., , . .z'- , .f .,,' : ' :r:> c.:;-, : - ':. ./ ): ,.. ?: ((Gor! Pipe the sailors! Gomin' right towards us, too." ((Now you mind yerself, Pansy! Don't 'ave no truck wit sailors!" (( Lordy! Is that a way t' talk about yer nation's defenders? Ain't yuh no patriotism?" ((N ot in a rowboat, dearie- Whoops! " 21 Lasky, Zukor, Goldwyn, Fox and Schenck will be made honorary Bishops. It is more difficult to foresee what part will be played by the ladies in this new Cinema Faith. It may pos- sibly be decided that since women are usually the cause of all the trouble, they may only be lay worshippers un- til they really reach a state of grace. But should they be formed into a Sisterhood of Mercy, it seems certain that Miss Mary Pickford will be at their head, while as Abbesse we mav be sure of the Misses Gloria Swan- son, Norma and Constance Talmadge, Norma Shearer, Alice Joyce, Mabel Normand and many others I can't think of. The churches of the new faith will, of course, be the picture studios them- selves, and the ritual the actual film- ing of the great masterpieces. Thou- sands of pilgrims will flock to the de Mille studios and watch in reverent silence the stirring, ceremony of Mr. de Mille in his papal robes directing some great scriptural story while the sanctified actors go through their in- spired rôles to an organ accompani- ment of sacred music. In time, of course, some dissension will be bound to arise. The Fox sec- tion, for example, may get fed up with the high-church ritualism of the de Millites- "those hypocritical de Mille papists"-and set up its own temple in Culver City, while the Lasky crowd will probably steer a middle course between the two and so make sure of the support of the great middle-class population. Just as the studios become the ca the- drals, so will the picture theatres be- come the chapels to which the faith- ful will flock seven times a week, not counting matinées, the collection be- ing taken up on entrance, at an aver- age of fifty ce'nts a head. Thus, finally, we shall get a reli- gion which reaches everyone, which is really universal, the followers of which will not have to be induced to go to church, but will go because it amuses them to do so. Of course, I may be wrong about all this. Someone in Hollywood may read this prediction, and may send a warning around the studios, and they may decide to continue their present wanton existence with an even greater determination. Should this happen, these words will not have been written in vain, -LESLIE HowARD