Motherhood, life.

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It’s always darkest before the dawn.

A lot has happened within the past few weeks since I last posted. For a short recap, my son’s first birthday was wonderful! His aunt and her bf came down for his birthday party. It was his first time meeting her and he couldn’t stop staring at her. He got loads of gifts and loved every last one of them. I thankfully had enough saved up from my new job for his birthday. No kids came, which really upset me, but all the important people who truly mattered came and I was very pleased with how it all turned out. Soon after that, we(as in my family and I) were supposed to start packing because we are on orders to move. Let’s just say, the whole moving plan isn’t working out too smoothly as we had all hoped. It’s an emotional phase for all of us, and for me because my grandfather is moving from his house and it’s the house my nana passed away in. Some might find this to be weird, but it’s the only way I feel closer to her, so to not have that house in the family anymore, is like my last connection to her is being ripped away right from under me. That is a raw emotion I have to deal with, along with the other stresses in my life. And to top that off, my birthday is coming in a few weeks(24 days, to be exact). And for anyone else, this is a celebration we all look forward to and eagerly await. But, I’m not too excited about it, to be frank. I’m turning a raw age that still hangs in the balance of both lives, and yet, I could care less. The fact that my son was born a month before me, excites me! What a wonderful gift!! 🙂

I am grateful for the job I have, to have a roof over my head, and that my son is healthy and well. I’m grateful for the people who are surrounding me and providing me love and strength to help me push through this rough patch. I really don’t know where I’d be without them all ❤

With all that is going on, I do believe the sun will shine again, very soon for us. I believe God did not bring me this far to leave me now. Even though my faith in Him is slowly fading, I will do my best to trust in him.