Link Love (2013-05-07)

Thought-provoking

“How many partners do you have? Just one? How boring. Polyamory – loving multiple people – is a growing moment with its own set of rules. Zoe Stavri charts her journey from romantic exclusivity to five-in-a-bed romps” The perks of polyamory – ES MAgazine

Religion

“That last one is why the modesty/purity culture can be so incredibly damaging. Many girls and women I’ve talked to have it so deeply ingrained into them that it’s virtually inescapable. When it comes between choosing what’s worse– staying in abusive relationship, or facing the “reality” that you’ve “surrendered your purity,” guess which one we choose?” roses – how the purity culture taught me to be abused – No Longer Quivering

“The same holds for atheists. They don’t hate God because they don’t believe that God exists. When we as Christians make the mistake of saying that they hate God, we are ignoring the nuance of the discussion. We are ascribing belief where none exists.And perhaps more damaging, we are ignoring some of the places where we might be contributing to the frustration and anger that some atheists are experiencing. If we do go by the title of Christians, we must acknowledge that we are the example of God to those that we meet – including atheists. And maybe, just maybe the problems lies not with God, but with us.” The Christian Guide to Atheists: Atheists Hate God – Alice Write

Equality

“White privilege is knowing that if the bomber turns out to be white, he or she will be viewed as an exception to an otherwise non-white rule, an aberration, an anomaly, and that he or she will be able to join the ranks of pantheon of white people who engage in (or have plotted) politically motivated violence meant to terrorize — and specifically to kill — but whose actions result in the assumption of absolutelynothing about white people generally, or white Christians in particular.” Terrorism and the Privilege: Understanding the Power of Whiteness – Tim Wise

“The Mars/Venus view describes a world that does not exist, at least here on earth. Our work shows that sex does not define qualitatively distinct categories of psychological characteristics. We need to look at individuals as individuals.” The Tangle of the Sexes – NY Times

Beauty & Body Image

“While borrowing lines from Hamlet to describe panties may seem like a stretch no elastic waistband should endure, Ms. Parker’s witty remark raises many questions concerning what we choose to put on underneath our clothes. It’s a simple decision that arises daily for both men and women, often thought to be mandatory and thoughtless, but is it? For myself (and I hope I am not alone in this one) countless daydreams are filled with visions of me slipping in and out of lingerie; of waking to the early sunlight in my darling (but too rarely worn) vintage babydoll slip. I wish for the moment when passion stops to observe the way silk skims a nipple. But more often than not, these moments are either lost or pass within a flick of the light switch. So why do we invest so much of our time and money on a moment so brief?” Under Where? Worn Fashion Journal

“My makeup represents to me control. I can’t stop people from looking at me—but I can absolutely control what they see when they look at me. My makeup is a way to self-create. As time has gone by, I’ve become less interested in “natural” makeup, instead going for dramatic looks with bright colors and intense lips. Sometimes, I do use more mattes and neutrals, but even then, the the entire thing is a construct. You don’t see my face—you see the face I want you to see.” The Face of Make-Up – Feministe

“Try to remember that if you feel something, it is valid. Just the fact that you’re feeling it makes it so. People get jealous, insecure, and intimidated all the time! ALL THE TIME, I say! It’s completely natural! To shame people for feeling those things doesn’t make them any easier to cope with, and is often just a way for certain advice-givers to make themselves feel superior. I feel jealous myself, and although I try to identify the root of the emotion (which is often related to my own fears and insecurities), I don’t beat myself up for it. Try to give yourself some space and forgiveness around these feelings because loading shame on top of everything else is just going to make it all feel insurmountable.” Suggestions for dealing with jealousy and insecurity – Already Pretty

“You can see this by the fact that when you get a woman in a position of high ranking status – like a politician or judge – it never stops mattering how she looks. We don’t care if she is the brightest, most ambitious, and most powerful lady in the land, whose career has NOTHING to do with how she looks – the conversation never totally leaves how she looks. And due to objectification she just can’t win even if she does fit the “picture of beauty”. Hillary Clinton is a professional and stoic? She’s a bitch. Sarah Palin is good looking and feminine? She’s a ditz.” Media Says: Not an Attractive Woman? Then You’re Worthless – The Love Vitamin

Inspirational

“What I had learned over the years is that sadness was a weakness and it was best to look poised rather than bruised or irritable.
Best to seem healthier or present a plastic version than to reveal the real, hurting version of myself.
Best to pick up and move on, throw myself into work, signal to the outside world an image of strength and charm.
But inside, I felt fried, blitzed, scattered.” What Does Being Emotionally Healthy Look Like? – Everyday Feminism