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Friday, August 24, 2012

Individuality: Keep It Lit (Letter to My Future)

It’s so hard to be
an Individual in a World which seems to advocate Being Like Everyone Else.

When I came into the world, I first got the messages to “just
be myself.” That seemed to be fine and
dandy, as long as I was around my grandparents.

Once I was started going to school, I began to get other
messages. Being myself wasn’t cool. Being different was troublesome because I got
bullied on a regular basis.

All the Individuality started to get shredded away as I
went through the pangs of “trying to fit in”—whether it was letting someone
copy off my paper or helping doing someone’s homework assignment. In the early
going, I felt I had to buy some of my friendships.

What I went through in those early stages made me more
miserable, causing me to go into myself and isolate.

Then later, I got perceived as a “standoffish
and stuck-up” because I didn’t want to go through the pangs of
socializing. I preferred being
misunderstood than going through the humiliation of maintaining those “early
bought friendships.” The price was just
too high.

I know it is unrealistic for there not to be
a time when someone will be exposed to peer pressure. As long as there are people around, there
will be some type of pressure.

Yes, in adulthood, there is pressure. Pressure to have the look of success. Pressure to be “in” as well as “in style”,
even though some of the latest trends seem absolutely horrid and atrocious.

I don’t have children, but I want to have at least
one. Even though the odds seem stacked
against me (because of my age), I want to at least try. If I am to have one (if it’s a girl, Kyra would
be her name; if it’s a son, Michael), this is a letter I would write to her
regarding this pressure:

Dear Kyra,

First of all, you are such a blessing. Many will think you are a long time coming,
but I think you are right on time. I am
very thankful and glad you are here, and even those words can't fully describe the immense joy I feel.

I will tell you all the time you are beautiful,
intelligent, and special. However, you
will get out in the world and be exposed to all types of things. Others may not have the same views as I. There are some who think you have to change
who you are in order to be popular, in order for people to love you. The people who try to change your core are
poisonous to it. If they truly love you, they will take you for who you are.
If you ever change, let it be by Your Hand and not by anyone else’s.

The greatest gift you possess is your Individuality. Hold on to It with Strength and
Tenacity. Not just in your younger
years, but on into your adulthood. The
threat of your Sole (and Soul) Extinction does not stop after middle school, high school,
and college. This test is constant. With each new person you meet (or even ones
you have had around for a while), the test may present itself. You may find yourself changing, evolving, and
if you are positively evolving, you may find yourself losing people close to
you. Don’t fret; it is part of the
process. They are just leaving room for
those who are in cohesion with your blossoming.

Never stop educating yourself. I don’t just mean with schooling. Take it upon yourself to research; find out
the truth for yourself. Don’t just take
one person’s word and assume he is the gospel.
Question everything. You can gain
knowledge not just from music and books; others around you have very rich
experiences; take their triumphs and tragedies, and extract from them.

Don’t make the mistakes I made.

Don’t become so hungry for people to like you that you
will go along with things you know are wrong or which make you resentful.

Don’t let others’ negative energy drain you. Recognize you can’t be everything to
everybody. Don’t spend out your time and
energy to the point where you feel depleted.

Don’t think or try to make a person change just to be
with you; he will want that change for himself, if it is meant to be.

Don’t force a person to be with you or stay with you if
he is done, even if you may feel like he’s making a mistake. The absence can serve as a blessing.