Paul Sullivan on the Cubs

May 19, 2004 | 1:14 PM

In a new lemon-scented edition of Ask Paul, he addresses Foul-A-Palooza, Sammy's sneeze, the Lemons and other Cub-related issues.

How is Sammy's achilles feeling? I noticed he's not getting much air on his home run hop this year... and that's a shame. Is he about to join Grudzielanek (and he who must not be named, you know, Voldemort) on the DL? --Byron Clarke, Bloomington, Ind.

Byron, you win the award for prescient Cub fan of the year, sending this e-mail last week before Sammy even thought about sneezing. Sammy is now on the DL, though his Achilles' heel is his back, not his Achilles.

With the Cubs reserves playing stellar baseball right now, with clutch performances from Macias, Hollandsworth, Martinez and the other "Lemons," what are the Cubs' biggest deficiencies going into the remainder of the season? Would it be wise to try and shop guys like Macias to fill those voids? Or do these guys shore up the team well enough to help carry us down the stretch? --David McNelis, Chicago

The Cubs just got Macias, so it makes no sense to shop him. The bench looks strong enough to get through all the injuries, but if Hendry needs to get someone by late July, he's already proven he'll move prospects for quick-fix guys.

Note to readers wanting to berate Paul on his famous mood swings: Paul had the same rules in effect while covering the Sox beat. Readers couldn't ask about the Josh Fogg trade (or the same trade formerly known as the Kip Wells trade) or SirotkaGate and several other topics that I've since forgotten. Just get used to it. He didn't change for Sox fans and evidently hasn't changed since. --Tom Stehura, Schaumburg, Ill.

That was the old Ask Paul. The new Ask Paul will keep things upbeat and positive.

What is the major league record for most foul balls by a player in one at-bat? I thought Steve Stone and Chip Caray said it was 28 or 29, but guys at the bar think I was hearing things. Please settle this dispute. I've searched the net but couldn't find the answer. --Lonnie L. Lahodny, Salina, Kan.

After googling up the site foulballs.com, I found the consecutive foul ball record was set by former Cub Steve Dillard against Nino Espinosa on July 24, 1979 at the Vet. No, wait a minute. I'm lying again. Actually, I have no idea what the record for consecutive foul balls is.

Now that Sammy hurt himself sneezing, how does he stack up with Jose Cardenal's sticky eyelid? --Rick Bogren, Baton Rouge, La.

I believe Sammy's sneeze moves past Jose Cardenal's sticky eyelid, because it happened during the season, not spring training. And don't forget the episode when the cricket in his room kept Cardenal up all night and he couldn't play the next day, also in spring training. After that episode, my former boss, Mike Royko wrote Cardenal was, "an inspiration to those of us who believe in sleeping late, walking slow and calling in sick at the office." Cardenal, by the way, is friends with Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder, who wore Cardenal's jersey while shagging balls in Cincinnati last September.

Kyle Farnsworth should be sent to anger management class after that dugout exhibition at Petco field, do you agree? --Charles Book, Honolulu, Hawaii

I don't think this is necessary, unless you get a group rate and send Alou, Baker and Wood to the same class. Everyone snaps a little sometimes, especially the Cubs. Kyle's snaps are just a little more violent than the rest, because he throws metal objects (a folding chair qualifies) instead of just screaming at umpires like everyone else.

So, care to offer your opinion on who the starting 9 would be for the NL if the All-Star roster was picked now? Oh, and my money is on Maura. The only question remaining there is when she'll also be taller than you. --Steve Olson, Springfield, Mo.

My early guess is Bonds, Sosa, Pierre, Rolen, Renteria, Giles, Pujols, Piazza and Clemens. As for who really deserves it: Bonds, Pierre, Cabrera, Rolen, Jack Wilson, Giles, Overbay, Estrada and Clemens. Most of the smart money is on my niece Maura in our highly-anticipated squirt gun showdown this summer. She's using the Kevin Garnett line of quality squirt guns.

As for Corey Patterson's reluctance to bunt, why doesn't Dusty force his hand by putting the bunt sign on every once in a while? Obviously Cory can't get it through his head that he could be the next Lou Brock. --Mike Makowicz, Oklahoma City, Okla.

Too late. Corey's batting seventh, so no reason to bunt.

We hear about "getaway day" a lot. How much time elapses between the end of the game and the team's plane departure? --Shaun Gordon, St. Louis, Mo.

I get asked this question a lot. The answer fluctuates, depending on how far the airport is from the ballpark, but usually it's about 1 1/2 hours. I do not fly the charters, as has already been well established.

You're right -- sausage is delicious. Are the Cubs thinking of getting involved in the Carlos Beltran sweepstakes? If not, do you think they would consider going after Mags if the Sox were dumb enough to let him go? They're going to need someone to step in for Sammy and Alou eventually. -- Adam Johnson, Austin, Texas

Beltran would be a perfect fit for Wrigley, but I wouldn't count on it. Magglio Ordonez would be an even more perfect fit, and he wants to stay in Chicago. The Sox could not trade Ordonez to the Cubs because Bulls season-ticket holders would drop drastically and Kenny Williams would have to get an alias.

With both the Cubs and Sox having a legitimate chance at the World Series, what do you think would happen to the city of Chicago if both teams made it? I always felt that this was a forbidden situation, and that the city would collapse into Lake Michigan or something. --Dan McQuade, Indianapolis, Ind.

No, the city would not collapse into Lake Michigan. It would probably collapse into the Cal-Sag canal.

How long does Cubs management stay patient with Corey Patterson? He seems too driven to become a straight pull power hitter, which he is not. How long will he be allowed to play? Also, why don't the Cubs pick until No. 66 in round 2 of this year's draft? --Josh Herren, Fort Walton Beach, Fla.

1. Until they start sticking Jose Macias in center field and challenging Patterson by taking away his playing time. 2. Because they signed LaTroy Hawkins, and surrendered their first-round pick.

Why do the Cubs insist on labeling themselves a warm-weather team? Chicago is warm for only half the season, and if they can't win in the cold, what good are they if they make the playoffs? --Jon McCumber, Chicago

The Cubs aren't labeling themselves a warm-weather team. They just like to hit in warm weather. Since they're a rotation-rich team, the cold weather is actually more conducive for them.

As union members, how much does a Major League player pay in union dues? Is it based on salary, seniority? Also when playing the White Sox or vice versa, do the players get road money? --Bob Angone, Chicago

The Cubs union rep is you-know-who, and since we're forbidden to talk about him in this column until he returns to the major leagues, we're also forbidden to ask him about union dues. They do, however, get meal money.

Who wears the White Sox cap in the Sosa Taco Stand Pepsi commercial? Is it a White Sox player? --Nona Adam, Owasso, Okla.

I believe his name is Carlos Bartman. No, wait, I made that up, too. I have no idea who wears the White Sox cap in the Sosa Taco Stand Pepsi commercial.

Regarding your request for theories on the Cubs' consistently bad baserunning, here's one for you. Most of the Cubs are slow. Slow players are easier for outfielders to gun down. How's that for a theory? --Matt Kruse, Chicago

That's a good theory, and the only one anyone sent in, so I believe we'll have to call it Matt's Theory on the Cubs' consistently bad baserunning.

Don't you feel some sense of responsibility to actually research an answer, formulate an intelligent response and show some insight? --Tim Bogaert, Chandler, Ariz.

What fun would that be?

Can we ask questions about Shawn Estes this year? --Mike Biggs, Hobart, Ind.

No, not yet. Nice try.

First, I understand why you might not want to respond to the same questions regarding Prior, Borowski, etc. over and over, but why post these questions on the site and then refuse to answer them? Why not just ignore them and post interesting questions, and actual responses, in their place? And second, why did the Cubs give up on highly regarded Juan Cruz and trade him for an unheralded, wild, minor-league reliever? --Todd Betke, Washington, D.C.

You're absolutely right. I'll now move on to the next question.

Do you think Matt Clement will ever, outside of Cubdom, get the recognition he deserves, or is he destined to forever have his accomplishments dimmed by Wood, Zambrano and Prior? --Kristy Rice, Carrollton, Texas

He'll get the recognition when he's among the league leaders in wins. He's 5-3, but should be at least 7-2 at worst. The Cubs should get him signed for 2005 because he deserves to know he'll be here next year.

A number of coaches around baseball, including the Cubs pitching coach, wear a windbreaker over a t-shirt instead of a uniform jersey. Tom Kelly did it as manager of the Twins too. But what is with Carlos Zambrano? It can be 90 degrees and there he is in his jacket. Is he allergic to polyester? --Bill O'Loughlin, Tucson, Ariz.

Allergies are nothing to sneeze at, Bill. Maybe Carlos likes his jacket. Whatever Carlos wants to wear at this point, I think we should let him wear it.

Where can I find someone who will answer questions about the Cubs? --John Evenhouse, Lakewood, Calif.

You've found him, John. Feel free to ask one anytime.

Since you don't like answering questions about certain members of the Cubs, could you give your opinion on whether the Sox are a contender this year? -- Jeffrey L. Wolber, Portersville, Pa.

Sorry, that's a problem for Ask Bob.

Hope everyone is satisfied with their answers. I certainly had a great time reading all of your e-mails. Check back in a couple weeks for more relevant information about the Cubs.

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