I Wrote My Wife a Letter After I Caught Her Cheating...

Yep, I snooped and found out she was in love with another man. We have 3 kids and it breaks my heart to find out that my wife is not the person I thought she was. I'm posting this to simply vent...since she said she would not read it...perhaps others will...and see her for who she is.

My letter to her...

"You know, I can do my best to accept the end of our marriage. The whole end of family for the kids hurts, and my heart goes out to them. But for me, I will be ok. But honestly, I would feel so much better about things if you had handle things a bit better. The thing that really bothers me is the way you went about all this. You literally deceived me and started an affair with someone before you even said, “it’s over”. Hell, if I hadn’t snooped, I’d still be clueless and I’d be the idiot behind closed doors. All the while you are sweet-talking some man, and he is sweet-talking you, and then you’d go off to some concert and meet him! HA, what a fool I’d be, huh? Your loyalty to a man you don’t ‘really’ know, that lives so far away, seemingly outweighs your obligations as a wife and your character as a decent human being has suffered for it. Who are you? Do YOU even know? Have you looked at your actions, or have you justified them somehow? My god, I know you could care less about what I think of you, but everyone I know will certainly see my view of you. Not because of what I say to them, but because of what you have done…your actions tell the story of who you are, not my words. Yes, sadly your actions have placed your character in a light which lacks trustworthiness, respect, fairness, communication, compassion, consideration, courage, courtesy, dependability, diligence, discipline, effort, honesty, integrity, kindness, loyalty, optimism, sincerity and yes, your character even lacks character. You really need to take a good look in the mirror Missy. You need to take a long hard look at what you have done and who you are NOW, not who you WERE in the past, so don’t start comparing my old self as you always do to fall back into you comfort zone to justify your ‘evil’ self, no, it’s who you are NOW. Let me go down the list…if I may…humor me and read on, or shall we add humility to the list as well as something that your ‘flimsy’ character does not possess. So, please read and maybe, just maybe you will feel a bit of shame as well.

- Trustworthiness means you are worthy of someone’s trust.

- Respect means showing regard for other people’s feelings.

- Fairness has many meanings, like doing the right thing, treating people the way they should be treated, etc.

- Communication is the means by which people exchange information. The people who get ahead in life are the people who can communicate.

- Compassion is an awareness of other people’s problems and a desire to help.

- Consideration means being thoughtful of the rights and feelings of others. It means treating people the way you would like them to treat you.

- Courage is not the absence of fear – it is the ability to face your fears.

- Courtesy is a show of respect and consideration for others.

- Dependability means people can count on you. It means you follow through on your promises and do the things you say you are going to do.

- Diligence means sticking to a task until it is completed or mastered.

- Discipline doesn’t just mean punishment. When we’re talking about character, it means self control. If you have discipline, it means you take control of your own actions.

- Effort is your willingness to try. It’s easy to put a lot of effort into things you like and things you’re good at. What’s hard is putting effort into things you DON’T do well. But that is where you effort is needed the most!

- Honesty is truthfulness. It means you are not going to lie or cheat. Honesty is one of the building blocks of strong character.

- Integrity is like a code of honor. If you have integrity, it means that you have certain values and beliefs that you live by. It also means you respect the values and beliefs of others. Integrity is a lot like honesty – it’s one of the building blocks of character.

- Kindness is just a matter of being nice. It sounds so simple, but sometimes people are so wrapped up in themselves and their own problems that they stop being kind to each other.

- Loyalty is faithfulness. It means standing by someone even when times get tough. Loyalty is an important part of friendship.

- Optimism means having a positive outlook on things. It means thinking that things are going to turn out well.

- Sincerity means being real and genuine – not fake.

- Your character is the sum of all the qualities that make you who you are. It’s your values, your thoughts, your words, your actions…in other words, it’s YOU. Like it or not, you will often by judged by your character.

Well, there they are…all the attributes that your character lacks in one way or another. Again, you may not care what I think about you, but as I said, your actions towards me and this marriage display the holes within your character, it’s not my words that prove it. Yep, Sharon(our therapist) did one hell of a job on you. Sean(the other man) can have you…I don’t want someone like you in my life. No way. As I said, I don’t even know who the hell you are anymore and I’ve come way too far to be dragged down by you and your foolishness. I’ve had enough of you and your little games and your relationship with this other man. Sorry things had to end this way…you have serious issues and it’s sad that somehow you do not seem to see the flaws. Hey, I’m not perfect either, but I certainly have outgrown this bullshit that you have pulled over the last four to five months and I would NEVER have even thought about doing this to you, and ending things like this. That’s why I brought up the whole ‘character flaws’ list. Hoping that you can see what everyone else sees by your actions to start an affair with some guy you hardly know, and before you are even separated, or divorced!!! Even disrespecting the children by using your maiden name as if you are mentally divorced or something...WTF are you thinking?! *sigh* But, in spite of myself, I’ll always love that girl I fell in love with and lost so long ago…but she is lost…forever it seems...and I fear that I will never see her again. I’ll always remember the good times…wish you could do the same."

I understand it's terrible you had to go through something like this, i admire your strength alot and i'm sure i would have done the same. I hope u don't mind me putting it this way but my advise is that let the fool (Sean, if that's his name) keep the garbage.

Very well put. Must have felt good to put it on paper and release the energy that was built up inside you. Continue to be strong and remember that, at this point, your children are what matter most. Be sure that their emotions are being taken care of as well as your own!

Well, she goes by the screen name 'eviltwinmissy72'....and she refers to herself as the 'evil one'...that is why I called her evil....to throw her usage of the term 'evil' in her face.<br /><br />Lilly...yes, I feel great! Thanks... :)

i respect that t must have been hard for you to find out about your wife and it must be hard for your kids and maybe she deserves a little or what you said.<br />But i feel in your letter you are shouting at her and i can understand that also but if i were to be called a word like evil by someone i loved i think that would maybe change the way i looked at them. I know this letter is your anger written down<br />I would think before you show her this. becasue maybe shouting and name calling wont make things any better for any of you.<br />and i promice you there is no dis respect ment by this comment.

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