Feb 10, 2007

I'm horribly upset that the Anna Nicole hype has overshadowed the psychotic astronaut chick hype, but the show must go on. What a strange week. We had a huge chemical explosion near downtown that left a dark cloud over the entire city. Within 10 minutes listeners had emailed me graphic photos of the explosion. I'm hoping our next big story happens at an area Hooters.

20 minutes into the story we were able to piece together exactly what had happened through listener calls. An alien craft had fired at Sprint Arena and missed by a couple of miles because Dick Cheney was on the trigger. Way to come through in a pinch, Mix listeners!

Props to the KC Fire Department. I never realized how underpaid and under funded they were until I saw them battling that chemical fire wearing nose clips.

If I don't get a chance to tell you, happy Valentine's Day! Remember: If your date is really ugly, instead of celebrating Valentine's Day, throw a Valloween party.

Hotwire.com has ranked Kansas City #5 in the nation for best value vacation destination.Atlanta was #1, followed by Dallas, Raleigh-Durham, Orlando, KC, and Denver.**Just wait 'til we get Legoland...TOGETHER WE WILL RULE THE GALAXY!

HOT ASTRONAUT!

That Lisa Nowak astronaut story is wack. She gets mad at a competing lover…drives from Houston to Orlando wearing a diaper so she wouldn't have to stop.**Remember, space travelers are only cool wearing diapers when they live in the Degobah system.(Two obscure Star Wars references in a row!)

One time while on a road trip, I tried peeing in a cup, but everyone on the Greyhound was staring at me and I couldn't go.

The Royals team slogan for 2007 is TRUE. BLUE. TRADITION.**It's TRUE. We've been BLUE. Because the team has a TRADITION of falling into last place.

The great thing about being a Royals fan is we don't waste our money on a bunch of white towels in October.

The Dead Sea Scrolls have arrived at Union Station. I took the media tour and I was surprised to learn they were written on paper towels.

Subscriber of the Week: Woody Powers of The Peak 92.9 in Colorado Springs. Woody says he hates people who talk on cell phones when they drive, people who beat him at poker, and people who talk on their cell phone while beating him at poker. Thanks for joining the club and congratulations on the monster ratings.

Look for more Starbeams in Hearne Christopher's column Sunday in the Kansas City Star.

You still have a chance to watch some of the Chiefs in action. The Pro Bowl is Saturday at 5 on CBS. I want that job. I'm on a losing team, but I still get a free trip to Hawaii. Wait a minute...I've done my show from Honolulu....never mind.

The Kansas City Remodeling show is this weekend at the American Royal Center.**The American Royal was the perfect venue because, we all know, most of us in the Midwest have dirt floors.

One of the candidates for KC mayor, Stan Glazer, wants to build a 50 story Ferris wheel on the riverfront downtown. It would cost 1/3rd what we paid for the Sprint Arena.**But would attract the same number of professional sports teams.

This year's Ozzfest tour will be completely free of charge in the wake of escalating summer ticket prices. The cost of the shows will be underwritten by additional sponsors.**I'm running out of excuses to NOT go to Ozzfest

A former NBA player came out of the closet. Utah Jazz center John Amaechi says he is ready to talk about gay life as a former NBA player.

Top 5 ways to spot a gay NBA star:#5. Loves to play man to man.#4. His Dream Team is Siegfried and Roy.#3. Great at passing but loves receiving.#2. During national anthem hums "It's Raining Men".#1. Voted best ball handler….at MISSY B's.

Beyonce got three nominations from the Soul Train Music Awards March 10, to lead everyone in nominations.**In a twist of irony, K-Fed will be valet parking cars at the event.

Bad press always follows the Super Bowl half time show. Some people claim Prince's guitar looked like a phallic symbol.**Nobody claims that about Liberty Memorial and I had to pose for that thing for hours.

Barack Obama announced he is giving up cigarettes now that he is running for President. I didn't know he smokes, but now smoking is a no-no if you want to be leader of the free world.**Barack did say while he hates his vice, smoking is still safer than meth.

Valentine's dinner is one of the biggest nights at Hereford House. That's why I'm taking Hillary there Saturday night. Be sure to check our special link for instant savings and to book your reservation online.