I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Some of you may have heard of that perfume that is supposed to smell like a lady's private parts. I ordered it and shared it with coworkers, for science and for fun.

First, if you ordered it, you would be disappointed twice. I thought it would get me a 50ml cologne bottle, but it is actually a 2 ml vial, with an oily liquid in it. It isn't oily like a perfume oil - it is more oily like a water based lube, or like a ... natural lubricant. That part was well done.

You will be disappointed again with the smell. My coworkers agreed in general that it has "something" that you can associate with a woman's parts, but unless you are told so, you might not even make the association. But it could smell like... another animal's parts. I wouldn't know, but it does smell "kinky", and like a natural liquid could. Just not close enough to what I, or my coworkers have experienced.

Don't worry though, it does not smell dirty or disgusting. There was a video review on youtube where people recoiled at the smell, but I don't think you would have this reaction unless an actual, male stranger made you smell his finger like they did in the review.

Maybe some people will wear this on their wrist for personal enjoyment, and it isn't bad, although it is not in any way a "perfume". The 2 ml vial will last a long time too.

By the way, the only coworker who kinda liked it was a female coworker. I told her what it was, she tried it, then she said - and I kid you not - "Smells like piss. It's quite good." Sadly, she is already married.

Another funny but sad note: All but one coworker preferred Vulva to Assam Kinam, a 100$ 0.5 ml vial of Oud I bought at Oriscent. But I think social pressure caused this. None of them gave it a serious try and they didn't seem interested in really giving themselves a chance to grow to like it, it was more fun to say "it smells like shit" in a group. My one coworker who actually tends to try new things in life (he has thousands of spices, natural oils, etc.) ended up really, really loving the oud.

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Fairly recently I accidentally ended up in bed with a woman I know (yes it's possible). We didn't have sex but I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.

If Vulva smells anything like vulva, then yummy frankly. Kiehls Musk or MKK are a poor second IMO.

In a world where people smell bad, it is the personal responsibility of every Basenoter to improve the world one SotD at a time...

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

I love the smell of meat. A nice steak mmmmmm, cajun tuna mmmmm, mesquite chicken mmmmm, flame broiled hamburger mmmmmm, a vulva mmmmm but I would never like to smell like any of them.

- Al

Exactly. That is the part that I will never get about this hobby...people wanting to actually smell bad or like certain things just to do it.. I'm sorry but experimental for me will never be smeling like a body part, a secretion or anything of that nature just to say I did it. I buy for myself to enjoy and hopefully for others to share that enjoyment. Grossing people out isn't included in it. Now I know the depth of this hobby for some goes this far and the actually like it. I just will never get there. I love this smell and experience when I'm there in person but don't want to spray it on.

Last edited by ToughCool; 18th December 2008 at 03:13 AM.

"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."--Ben Hogan

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

I think some people get those more kinky fragrances for their own enjoyment though. Many find MKK downright sexy or sexual, and would wear it at home, or want their lover to wear it during intimate moments.

In my case, I'm a guy, and I buy feminine perfumes to wear at home only because as much as I like the smell of a women wearing perfume, I might as well smell that when I'm alone too. And other scents such as aoud, I find a bit too off-putting to wear outside, but I wear at home because I love smelling my arm every few minutes when I wear this.

Vulva is probably like that too, someone who finds it kinky would wear it at home, pajamas around his ankles, ya know?

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Originally Posted by ToughCool

Exactly. That is the part that I will never get about this hobby...people wanting to actually smell bad or like certain things just to do it.. I'm sorry but experimental for me will never be smeling like a body part, a secretion or anything of that nature just to say I did it. I buy for myself to enjoy and hopefully for others to share that enjoyment. Grossing people out isn't included in it. Now I know the depth of this hobby for some goes this far and the actually like it. I just will never get there. I love this smell and experience when I'm there in person but don't want to spray it on.

I remember reading a thread somewhere in the dusty Basenotes archives regarding the misconception that Japanese don't like fragrance. I think the point was that they (and this is obviously a generalization) in fact do enjoy fragrance, just not applied to the body, i.e. incense, etc. I suppose it makes sense in a way - if you don't like a smell, you can just walk away or move to another space, whereas when you annoint yourself, you're pretty much stuck with it for a while. For myself, I like smelling odd fragrances, but there are a select few that I wouldn't wear in public for the same reasons you mentioned, tc.

Everyone is entitled to his own opinions, but not his own facts. Daniel Moynihan

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Originally Posted by Snafoo

I remember reading a thread somewhere in the dusty Basenotes archives regarding the misconception that Japanese don't like fragrance. I think the point was that they (and this is obviously a generalization) in fact do enjoy fragrance, just not applied to the body, i.e. incense, etc. I suppose it makes sense in a way - if you don't like a smell, you can just walk away or move to another space, whereas when you annoint yourself, you're pretty much stuck with it for a while. For myself, I like smelling odd fragrances, but there are a select few that I wouldn't wear in public for the same reasons you mentioned, tc.

Well said. I get that many here enjoy the differences and nuances of scents and that includes pushing the limits...and some love the different smells. I just think that testing it to see what it is like or personally using it and buying a scent are two different things. We are all here for different reasons. Just knowing myself, I could be here 3 years and this isn't an area I would venture to no matter how advanced I get. Again, I think it is fascinating that people want to try it and like it. Just not my cup of tea....well vulva is...not just as a cream or spray on..

Last edited by ToughCool; 18th December 2008 at 03:51 AM.

"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."--Ben Hogan

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Originally Posted by HDS1963

I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.

*looks arouns shiftily*

Completely agreed, although I don't keep a moustache or a goatee myself

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Sheeese...I thought you all were refering to Alexander McQueen's Kingdom

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation." HERBERT SPENCER

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

I'm actually curious to try this, just to see if it can render some of the same instinctual responses as the actual odor. I'm very intrigued by the use of human elements in perfume - not typically as straightforward as this but human elements wrapped into a larger concept (eg: Mugler Cologne's S-note).

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Originally Posted by SculptureOfSoul

I'm actually curious to try this, just to see if it can render some of the same instinctual responses as the actual odor. I'm very intrigued by the use of human elements in perfume - not typically as straightforward as this but human elements wrapped into a larger concept (eg: Mugler Cologne's S-note).

Don't bother, it's mainly smells of cumin.

Of course I was curious about this too a couple of years ago, but it probably smells like the private parts of a 400 pound woman who eats two large plates of curry six times a day. Not that I actually ever really smelled that, btw, but I do have a vivid imagination.

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Seen the pic? Wonder what my wife would think if I would give it for her b'day - "C'mon honey! This won't do... you already had enough sex for the whole year".

BTW, no perfume won't work as good as a good conversation regarding perfumes - I believe the topic is a catcher for the ladies. Yesterday I got ten samples from a lady working as an SA (and she was gorgeous) at a local dept store after trying some fragrances and holding a thirty minute long conversation about personal tastes and preferences.

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Originally Posted by beltz

Don't worry though, it does not smell dirty or disgusting.

Well, of course not! Vaginas aren't dirty in the first place. Now, I don't have vast experience in this area, and here at BN, I'm amongst friends so...I smell wonderful. With me as the reference vulva, I'll suggest women are salt-water marine with a soupçon of beeswax, coriander, and on some days a bit of the civet, but just a bit. Vaginas ought to smell like what they are: warm, cozy, and inviting. Of course in the right intimate situation, one could simply layer a bit of one's own "original" with a fragrance, "lama lo?" ("why not?")

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Originally Posted by HDS1963

Fairly recently I accidentally ended up in bed with a woman I know (yes it's possible). We didn't have sex but I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.

If Vulva smells anything like vulva, then yummy frankly. Kiehls Musk or MKK are a poor second IMO.

Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

Hey guys, I actually sent away to Germany and bought a vial of this VULVA scent; I was just too curious. About 30 euros. I am a seasoned perfumista accustomed to smelling many, many perfumes, and essential oils, both real and synthetic. And here is what VULVA is: cumin. That's right: All this VULVA cologne scent is is a tincture of cumin, perhaps laced with a very faint rose smell. That's it! If you're smelling pussy from this thing, it's all in your own scent memory. Not that cumin doesn't smell suspiciously like human sweat and healthy vaginal odor; it does... *somewhat*. I actually think a real, healthy vagina smells a little bit more animalic than this, not quite so botanical... Real pussy has a kind of "tigery" smell to it that VULVA ORIGINAL lacks, and seems a bit muskier. Funny, there are other perfumes on the market which, though not actually attempting to replicate "olor feminis", actually come a little bit closer to the real deal for me: Every now and then YSL OPIUM (femmes) has a tigery, animalic smell to it that actually reminds me more of pussy that VULVA ORIGINAL does. and, hey: have you ever smelled AGENT PROVOCATEUR (the original formula in the pink-enameled "breast-bomb" flacon)? Now that, kiddies, has a top-note of straight-up soiled woman's panties: urine mixed with musky undercarriage. Just sayin'. I'm a gay guy, but I've been with plenty of women in my life (I'm from Texas where every boy has to try it at least once) I've gone south on a couple, so I knows from whence I speaks. So, instead of dropping the 30Euros on VULVA ORIGINAL, go to your spice cabinet and make a thin paste of cumin and water. It's the same identical smell. Interestingly, perfumers have known of cumin's humanoid qualities for a lo-o-ong long time... It's nothing new. Cumin is the note one finds in the head of Alexander McQueen's KINGDOM, which others have likened to the smell of sweaty vagina. I apologize to the prudish and overly-polite members we might have reading this, but aren't you glad I kinda set this whole thing straight finally in plain terms?