Everything You Need to Love Scotch

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For all its complexity and highbrow implications, Scotch is actually a relatively simple proposition. Of course, there's the business of single-malt versus blended, and French oak as compared to sherry casks, but in the end, it's just whisky, an "e" subtracted. And whisky, like whiskey, is for everyone. (I'm looking at you, too, ladies.) And if for no other reason than this being the most shuttered, useless weekend of the year — the football wasteland, the weather, that glass on the ottoman over there — herewith is my handy new guide.