'Thinking out of the 'box' is what I do. An Igbo adage said ''nkem di iche bu ajo afa''. I dont think that's true. Being different is the first step to a long lasting change.
Dare to be different, dare to think differently

Thursday, 15 January 2015

“He always walked amongst them, watching quietly, unseen,
unnoticed,” Amara said, trying to describe Nonso’s sudden uncanny behaviour the
last time she saw him. Her body quivered, her voice unsteady and she
occasionally used gestures to imprint her words in mind.

The old television was on when she stormed into my room
unapologetic, uninvited. Kunfu Panda was playing and I laughed at Pow’s wanton
silliness and exaggerated screams, ‘Awesome!’ in the face of danger. Nonso is
my brother but it felt like Amara knew him better. Before he travelled to
Portharcourt, for greener pasture, he spent most of his time with her. They
sometimes cuddled on his bed, whisper to their ears and laugh at their silly
jokes. I would excuse myself to the parlour and pout at the HD television
hanging on the wall. “I dont like this television, it’s too clear and
colourful,” I said when dad bought it to replace the old television. He planned
to discard the old television but I protested we keep it in our room. I hardly
believe anything I saw on the HD television. I preferred the old television,
that gave a sharp contrast between a movie and NTA; when movies played on the
VCD, the colours were bright but the moment NTA is flipped, the images blurs,
and sometimes tiny black dots fill the screen. From tender age I learned to
associate poor images to live broadcasts.

Our shared one-room was all Nonso and I had in common; beds placed
side-by-side with the old television in-between. Nonso would lie down and face his
wall and I would lie down and face mine. The only time we enjoyed flamboyant
gist was when Super Eagles played; Nonso would lament how Enyeama punched a
ball he was supposed to catch, how Mikel passed the ball to a defender instead
of a striker, how Musa sometimes outrun the ball like a lorry without brakes.
And when the images on the television blur, “Oh Lord! What is wrong with this
stupid television?” he would scream and smack the television by the side,
several times and unsuccessful, most times.

“Let me try.” I would say and tap the television gently by the
side. This worked mostly. I concluded it was the television’s subtle way of
saying ‘am old, please cuddle me’. Nonso would muse when I did get it right.

I went to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice for Amara. As
I passed the television in the parlour, a female newscaster was serious reading
something. The image was spotless. I assumed a Nigerian movie was showing cut-scene
news to drive home a point and didn’t bother to pay attention, because of my
vendetta for Nollywood’s amateur movies. Amara screamed. I abandoned everything
I held, dashed to see what was wrong. The expression on her face depicted
horror. “Picture of Nonso and four others is showing on the screen,” she said.
I turn to take a look, the television goes off.

Sunday, 4 January 2015

The day 2014 closed its curtain, as usual, I sat to ponder
on my successes, failures, growth, degeneration, stagnations and so on. One
thought that kept resurfacing was how I was swindled from a singularly
unexpected source – a ‘family man’ with a wife and son, a man I once worked
with for close to a year. Inasmuch as I have forgiven him, the experience
continued to traumatize me, so I thought of what best to do with the memory and
an idea came to my mind; turn it into a lesson so that others can learn from it.

There is a popular notion that swindlers use juju (black
magic) hence you must fall for them each time. This is not always true, at
least 80 – 90% of the times, juju is not involved but psychology, they
preoccupy your mind with illusions that you lose objective thinking, and think
only what they want you to think.

Using my experience, I will lead you through some of the
steps to identify a swindler. These steps are easy to understand and are the
same in almost all the cases notwithstanding the direction they take.

1)THE FIRST CALL ALWAYS COMES FROM THE BLUE

“Hello,
Tony” came the voice

“Hello
sir.”

“Tony!
I just finished speaking with the dean about that thing you told me and he is
working on fixing your name into the shortlist. Send me your name, course of
study and state of origin fast.”

“Ok
sir!” I said and did as I was told as soon as I dropped the call.

My
declaration of interest that sunny afternoon catalysed a cascade of a dozen
other calls every now and then, for me to do this or that. Though I asked him
to assist me secure a job in his establishment, that was a long time ago, more
than a year even and we haven’t talked since that discussion. I had no reason
to suspect anything at first because I knew him and I asked him the favour in
the first place.

The
scenario is virtually the same with all the cases of swindle I have heard of –
the caller comes from the blue claiming to be a long lost friend, distant uncle
or aunt or cousin or relative. After the initial introduction and sudden
overflow of concern, what follows is them proposing to help you or seeking your
help. Swindlers are not ghosts, they are people who know you or people who have
spent a little time to study simple details about you with the fore knowledge
that knowing someone’s name alone makes them lower their shield towards you.

2)MONEY IS ALWAYS ATTACHED; EITHER AS A
PRE-REQUISITE OR FOR APPRECIATION

Later
that night, he called again to update me on the situation of things,

“Tony!
Thank God o… Do you know what?”

Brief
pause

“What?”
I asked

“The
dean forwarded your name and the list has been approved”

“WoW!”
I screamed, “Thank you sir, may God reward you.” I told him with a sincerity
erupting from the bottom of my heart. I mean this.

“Don’t
worry, it is God, I will only struggle to make sure everything works. The only
thing is that you did not buy the form and some people who bought the form were
removed to accommodate the names from the dean and now the registrar is
requesting for your file.”

“Ok”
I chipped in.

“First
thing tomorrow morning, send me the money so that I will help you get the form.
The form is one thousand and also the dean is requesting for some appreciation,
SMALL SOMETHING.”

“Ok
sir, just send me your account number let me see what I can do.”

I
thanked him again and again and ended the call.

He
sent me his account number and I sent him a SMALL SOMETHING.

Though
in my case cash got involved in a form of appreciation which was an indirect
and smart way of putting it, in other situations – some of which I know people
who have experienced – cash comes first. Some of the mundane techniques
swindlers use to defraud their prey includes

a)Showing you a bag full of money, sealed with
juju and telling you they need money to pay a medicine man to remove the charm
so that all of you will share the money claiming that if anyone touches the
money without removing the charm, the person will die instantly. They promise
you a fair share depending on the percentage you put in [If you come across
this set, tell them to take the money to the medicine man and after he must
have removed the charm they can pay him from the cash and share the rest].

b)Another popular one is that you have won so so
and so but have to pay some money for the processing [tell them to sell your
winning, deduct their money and send you the balance].

The list is endless but this sort
of defence works in all the cases. It only takes your consciousness to remember
to use them. If I knew this earlier, I probably won’t be writing this post but
such is life, some have to learn the hard way.

3)THE PROBLEM IS NEVER FULLY RESOLVED; AN OBSTACLE
MUST COME UP

“Tony,
the appointment letters have been released o…”

I
screamed. Only a Nigerian youth yet to be battered by the trauma of
unemployment won’t understand this feeling, what this meant.

“Thank
you sir. God bless you sir. I promise you will never regret this,” rolled out
uncontrollably from my lips.

“Tony
thank God o. my own is just to make sure everything is successful. I will
collect it for you later.”

This
was happening a day after I sent him SMALL SOMETHING for forms and files. About
an hour later, he called again to tell me the situation of things,

“Tony,
I went to collect the letter but learnt you have to pay five thousand for the
letter to be released to you.”

“Ok
sir, let me see if I can send it tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?
Tony people are collecting their own o. and the registrar has ordered that
anyone that fails to collect should be replaced. You know it is through the
dean you got this, I don’t want to make him feel that we are not serious.”

“Ok
sir, let me see if I can get the money.”

“Please
Tony, try your best.”

“Ok
sir” I said and dropped the call.

Before
banks closed for the day, I transferred him another SMALL SOMETHING.

The
next day he called to tell me the local government chairman hijacked the
letters and that he was demanding 5K to release it. After the last SMALL
SOMETHING, I added up and found out I have spent BIG SOMETHING. There and then
I convinced myself that I won’t send a dime again to his account. He told me he
would help me secure courses while I ran around for the money.

As
promised, late in the afternoon, I finished working and checked my phone, six
missed calls stared back at me. I returned the call and he was shouting,
furious at me,

“Tony!
I have been calling you since and you refused to pick my call.”

That
evening while I was in church, eagerly waiting for his text, I asked God for
guidance and courage to say NO without flinching. Till I got home, nothing, so
I decided to call him.

“Good
evening sir,” I said, “I didn’t see your text again.”

He
sounded like I was a pester when he said, “I am eating, I will text you when am
done.”

“Ok
sir.” I said and dropped the call.

Few
minutes after the eagerly anticipated text came in, he called,

“Tony,
the courses are remaining two” – because he sent four – “the person that will
give the remaining two is requesting for SMALL SOMETHING.

“Sir,
to be sincere with you, my account is red. You know I am not working and don’t
have money.”

“I
know but Tony, na money them dey use pursue money o. Let me tell you, I am in
the system and assuring you there is no amount you put in that will be too
much. You will have three hundred to three-fifty students and hand-out is one
thousand and is compulsory. Some students will fail and come to meet you. In
one semester you are sure of half a million, that is outside your salary o…”

He
finished his sugary explanations and I ended the call. I am sure if I had
played along, more demons would have been manufactured by him to truncate my
hustle.

4)THEY PLAY DOWN YOUR SACRIFICE AND EMPHASISE WHAT
YOU STAND TO GAIN

Where he pulled the first wrong string was shouting at me to
send him recharge card. I am a very sensitive person and inasmuch as I respect
people, I hate someone shouting at me no matter the reason talk more of
shouting at me because you think you are doing me a favour.

Having the guts to tell me about a rosy future while my ass
burned red hot as I mourn the BIG SOMETHING I have thrown away was a huge
setback for him and that was where my interest died. What swindlers do is to
draw out your greed. The greedier you are, the better for them. This is because
greed is a bad driver, and robs its passenger the power of rational thinking.

Imagine if I had allowed my mind swirl on the borders of the
good life he postulated, I would have kept spending till a point will come when
the greed will fade and I will spend this time to protect what I have already
spent.

5)THEY
SPEAK WITH AN UNWAVERING CONFIDENCE EVEN WHEN IT APPEARS THE SHIP IS SINKING

Along the line when he started laying down unforeseen
problems, I begged him that I should come around and see things for myself and
sort out what I can but he claimed that I would spend more if I should come
around but since he was in the system, they wouldn’t like to inflate prices
where there was any.

Most times, they keep a flat, toneless voice. Same tone they
use to announce your little ‘success’ will be the tone they will use to tell
you about a sprouting problem.

You may have begun to wonder how I broke free or did I just
end the communication? No! You are wrong if you think the latter. He kept on
pressurising me, stating clearly the time frame but each time I would tell him
that I will run around and later in the evening when he calls back to know how
far I have gone, I will tell him I didn’t succeed. One day he called again and
I told him plainly,

“Sir, I don’t have money, please use your money and I
promise to pay you when I start the job.”

Guess what he said,

“We have not been paid.”

Hilarious right?

Well, in your dealings with anybody, always keep
the consciousness that the person may be a swindler close.

About Me

My name is Anthony Emecheta l Enthusiastic writer l Not award winning anything l One failed attempt at a novella publication l Freelance writer, but don't expect me to do it for free l Trust me to always talk about what people don't want to talk about.