A person's sexuality is so much more than one word 'gay'. No one refers to anyone as just 'hetero' because that doesn't say anything. Sexual identity is broader than a label. —Gus Van Sant

Indeed, you are not alone. You are far from it. Every week there are new attendees at the Gay Fathers Association of Seattle (GFAS) support group meetings and there are new posts almost daily on the GFAS Seattle Yahoo! Group message board. Over the years GFAS has had hundreds of members. Attending a support group meeting for the first time may be difficult for some, but by the end of the meeting many will find it has been a pivotal experience, even if they just listened in. It will have been the first time they are in the company of men like themselves, men who can empathize with their fears and offer unconditional acceptance.

Words from a member “Attending a GFAS meeting is a rare opportunity to look into ourselves. The comradeship that evolves is amazing… lifelong friendships are often made here. After all, we’re a support group of men with unique paths in life. As individuals we come to the meeting with many things on our upturned plates, but at the same time we're here for each other. The listening is intense. You finally find a sphere of men with whom you can discover a deep sense of belonging. Perhaps you’ll stop shaking your head, ‘you don’t get it’ maybe now someone does understand."

You don’t have to do this alone. A support system is an invaluable place to turn to for reassurance. GFAS members help each other. In addition to GFAS, there are many national and local groups on the Internet and other groups that meet face-to-face. See our Resources page for more about these. Of course the love and understanding of friends and family is important to all of us, but for some, the insight of mental health professionals is also an essential tool. Spouses, partners, and children may need their own supportive resources. If they’re dealing with their own concerns, they may not be able to respond constructively to yours. Family members may need more or less time to adjust, just like some men may need more or less time to come to terms with being gay or bisexual.

Words from a member “The internet is quite a gateway. The gay scene and community are new to me. I am thankful for the support of this group. We share a unique perspective in the gay community. These men have the same themes and concerns that I do about family. I’m not looking at my marriage with regret. I come to this group for important validation and the support to help my family. And if it doesn’t work out, they will help listen to that too.”

Words from a member "In my judgmental, pre-honest life, I watched the depictions of Gay Pride on the National News, with disgust. Certainly this most appalling stereotypical portrayal of homosexual life styles was not what I wanted to believe was represented who I longed to be. I attended Pride in 2005, for the first time, expecting a flagrant display of lewdness. I walked onto Broadway and something so much bigger than who and what I was, surrounded and transported me to a place I had never been. For the first time in my cognitive existence, I was normal. There was no need to monitor my behavior and furtively look to see who was judging me. I was surrounded with people like me. For the first time in cognitive memory I belonged and I felt safe.”