A Queen, A King, A Princess

1) In light of the ongoing jihad against publicist/crappy driver Lizzie Grubman, we're wondering where the outrage was when Martha Stewart was accused of a similar Hamptons road rage incident. Sure, only one townie got dinged and prosecutors declined to press charges, but this East Hampton police report paints a less-than-flattering picture of the shiksa homemaking queen. (4 pages)

2) We love Howard Stern, but he was moaning about TSG on Thursday's show--though Howie couldn't actually bring himself to utter our name. Seems he's still peeved that we posted (two years ago!) the floor plans to his $5.9 million Manhattan palace. Get over it, King. (2 pages)

3) Mariah Carey's been hospitalized for "extreme exhaustion." Now those bendy straws will really come in handy! And we thought only her music was tired. (2 pages)