Which is worse? Texting and falling into a fountain, or texting and stepping in dog shit? Answer: They both suck, but clearly the lesson here is this: Statewide lotteries are a tax on people who are bad at math (we all know that, right?). None of which has anything to do with my standup-comic friend Molly Austin who was picked to play the comely young, urban professional whose guttural "Uhhh" made me laugh a lot. Oh, Molly. Watch her make you and others laugh TONIGHT @ 7PM at Karma. As far as the residents of Chocolate City are concerned, the jury's still out on this one ("Star of new D.C. Lottery ad is, well, dog poop").

If you come across or upload any new commercials starring our favorite comedians and performers, please send the link!