Tuesday, 14 July 2015

When did I become an adult and how do I go back in time?

1. I consider kitchen roll and fabric softener to be essential shopping list items.
2. I never run out of toilet paper.
3. I make salad dressings from scratch, regularly.
4. I'm nearly 28.

Seriously though, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I made the idiot mistake of downloading Timehop and as well as reminding me of some horrendous haircuts, and highlighting my heinous love of posting cryptic song lyrics in times of intense heartbreak it has also made me feel old.

I remember heading off to uni like it was yesterday, my suitcase full to the brim with denim skirts, sequin boleros and all the beads Primark had to offer. Although 10 years have passed I still feel like that fresh faced 17 year old with the whole world stretched out in front of me!

But so much has changed: I've gone from Halls of Residence to homeowner, from nights out to 9-5. My peers are Doctors, Lawyers, Mothers, Fathers, Husbands and Wives. We have bills to pay and a seemingly endless stream of expensive weddings to attend.

Then there are the physical symptoms of ageing. In my drinking heyday I could knock back approximately 50 VKs and still get up for my 9am lecture. Today, a couple of glasses of wine on a Thursday night results in a gallon of full fat Coke and a bacon roll come Friday morning. Not forgetting the constant creaks and unidentifiable aches my body is now subject to.

How am I supposed to be an adult when I still feel like a child? I still phone my mum and dad whenever anything goes wrong, despite the fact that they live in another country the majority of the time. Sometimes I just eat a bowl of tuna for dinner. And when somebody in the street tells their rambunctious child to watch out for the 'lady' I always assume there's another, older, more adult female beside me in an expensive dress who has her shit well and truly together.

When my Mum was my age she had a 2 year old child, I have a 2 year old crusty mascara that may or may not be past its best. That's basically the same yeah?