And so in 2008 the great Russian Bear finally got around to climbing
through the window of the Eurosong Skoda Superb, ripped out the back
seat and found the half-eaten pork pie jammed in with a copy of "caravaning
monthly". Whilst mercilessly devouring the competition, it sti;l
found time to shit in the woods. Just ask the Georgians, who have been
unceremoniously dumped out of this year's competition after bringing
a bit of politics into Eurovision in the god-awful shape of a "disco
funk" effort that subtly namechecked Vladimir Putin. They were
given three days to write a new song, which incredibly wasn't enough...oh,
and the EBU weren't accepting post during those days.

As a result 42 nations will be getting a spotty oik to apply for 1252
visas in the coming months for a trip to the Indoor Olympic Arena in
Moscow, site of athletics in 2006, boxing in 1980, and roulette during
the 50's. Hoorah for Slovakia who've given it another go, boo to San
Marino who dipped their toe into the icy Dnipro then scampered back
to their sun soaked tax haven. Kudos to Latvia who had to borrow the
money to compete, and also attendees the Icelandics a peoples who was
it not for nature's thermal bounty, would now be knawing each other's
own legs off for sustenance.

We have a two semi-final approach yet again, after it went down so
well in Belgrade (albeit whilst doing it's bit to bring about the global
credit crisis). I feel I need to point out the sea-change of 2009, which
is the partially return to jury voting. Since 1997, the great unwashed
have been given the chance to make a difference and then consequenelty
turned Tanel Padar into a winner, and annually voting the 4 national
big boys into the bottom four places. Mainly because of this, juries
will now count towards 50% to the final voting, with the other half
being made up by the very same great unwashed who thought Charlotte
Nillsson had a better song than Selma (I'll never forget or forgive).
So remember, before you vote, decide "what would Stock, Aitken
and Waterman think"...and vote the other way).

Information on the Eurovision Song Contest Singers and Songs for this
year along with my ill-informed comments can be found by clicking on
a flag as and when they are updated. The build up schedule for the two
week's of rehearsals can be found here

Albania

Andorra

Armenia

Austria

Azerbaijan

Belarus

Belgium

Bosnia

Bulgaria

Croatia

Cyprus

Czech Rep

Denmark

Estonia

Finland

France

FYROM

Georgia

Germany

Greece

Hungary

Iceland

Ireland

Israel

Latvia

Lithuania

Malta

Moldova

Monaco

Montenegro

Netherlands

Norway

Poland

Portugal

Romania

Russia

San Marino

Serbia

Slovakia

Slovenia

Spain

Sweden

Apologies
to Serbia and Montenegro for my lack of proper flaggyage.

Switzerland

Turkey

UK

Ukraine

After last year's roaring success in Serbia, there will again
be 3 shows, two semi's and a final. They will be on...drum roll... Tuesday
the 12th and Thursday the 14th of May, followed by the big final on Saturday
the 16th of May.

If the nations are inRed,
then they are into semi final 1 on Tuesday the 12th of May.
If the nations are in Blues,
then they are into semi final 2 on Thursday the 14th of May.
If they are in Green,they are straight into the final already. The Blacks
aren't bothering in 2009.

As is now the norm, the first 1-7 points will now not
be read out by the national spokesperson. In order to stop people waking
up on the sofas at 1am feeling grumpy and ruining their Sunday, votes
will only be read out for points 8,10,& 12. It is expected that this
will cut down on the voting process, and put a smile on everyone's face.
On the other hand, it will allow more time for the presenters to wow us
with their variety act, which is not a positive development.

Sadly both of the semi finals will not necessarily have
to be shown by each national broadcaster, but quite incredibly the Beeb
have already stated they will again be showing both semi's on BBC3. Yet
again the UK have been given a Wonka golden ticket straight into the final,
and as such don't much worry about those johnny foreigners and their scrabbling
around for those consolation places. Us Brits will also have the opportunity
to tele-vote in semi final number 1 on Tuesday.

Only five countries will gain automatic qualification to the final
this year.They will be joined by France, Germany, Spain and Britain,
or the "Big 4", along with the hosts Russia.

These four, which usually top Eurovision viewing figures, are also "officially"
the biggest contributors to the budget of the EBU, which represents
71 public service broadcasters covering every European country and more
besides. The new rules save Britain from another exclusion in 2009,
after we didn't, as usual, score enough points to qualify directly in
Moscow.

These 5 will be joined by 20 from the two semi finals (10 from each),
as detailed below.

If you are really hungry for the minutiae then why not take a look at
an extract (just imagine what the full version looks like) of the Official
Rules for 2009 (pdf document) by pressing
here.

Or a slightly more brief trawl can be found at the ever
improving official site ( http://www.eurovision.tv/ ).