The Terrorists Have Won, Victoria’s Secret Show Threatened

The 2016 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is more secret than ever as officials fear terrorist attacks. They recently announced the show would take place in Paris. This announcement usually comes in the spring, but they were scared that would give terrorists too much time to plan an attack.

Of all things on Earth, why would a terrorist want to kill a bunch of hot models? Well, the event attracts countless celebrities from designers and models to former designers and models. According to the Victoria’s Secret crew, that makes it a target.

Show officials have been working with French national security agencies to ward off possible attacks. Given the history of France’s military security, the fashion show is doomed. They can’t even keep Kim Kardashian safe!

The location of the event still hasn’t been disclosed. Keep an eye out for buildings with used thongs and David Spade hovering around.