My Fears and Flaws Are Magnified In My Mind's Eye And Sometimes They Get The Better Of Me

My name is Alana and I am a 22-year-old Brisbane artist. I deliberately make mental health a focus of my art practice because for me, art has been an outlet, a place to say what I need to say, and a way to clarify my own thoughts.

I struggled as a teenager- and sometimes still do- with depressive and anxious thoughts about myself and my future, debilitating self-doubt, and a rather shaky sense of who I am. Through those particularly difficult and crippling moments I used art as a way to cope and eventually, I got the opportunity to travel around Australia for two years and share my experiences in art and mental health with various audiences in every state as part of my job. I still love to speak about art and how it is GREAT to find some solace in creating something.

Here’s the thing: Art totally does not need to be about skill. It doesn’t even have to be shared with others. If you can “only draw stick people” (the absolute first thing anyone says to me when we chat about art) you still qualify. If you need somewhere to say something, and you enjoy creating, art can 100% be the thing that pulls you out of whatever dark corner you might mentally find yourself in (and if that’s you, I’m real sorry about that- you are totally not by yourself in it…and you will NOT always feel that way).

One of my drawings is called “My Fears And Flaws Are Magnified In My Mind’s Eye And Sometimes They Get The Better Of Me” (…. long titles are something I enjoy). I drew this to give myself the gentle reminder that sometimes the way I see things can be distorted in my mind. For me, this specifically was about being self-critical and learning to take a step back and realise I was being way too harsh towards myself.

Another drawing I did is called “My Future Is Spread Out Before Me On The Table, I Just Can’t Quite Reach It Yet.”

My Future Is Spread Out Before Me On The Table, I Just Can’t Quite Reach It Yet.

This drawing was one I drew when I was 18, fresh out of high school, and completely petrified about what my future held. I was full to the brim of doubts about my capabilities, and I perceived the world to be quite hostile. The drawing presents me as a little child on a ladder, and I am unable to see or reach the banquet on the table. The main message from this artwork is that it is okay to feel small; that no one knows what their future holds. I found comfort through drawing this in realizing that it is okay to live with uncertainty- and that everyone has a feast of a future spread out and prepared…and the future doesn’t need to be visible yet.

I published a book earlier in 2016 about resilience- it is a conversational, whimsical book full of drawings and ideas (most are my work, I got about 11 contributors to add their thoughts). There is so much more to explore in this field and so much more we have yet to learn about the way we think and the way we wade through painful experiences in life. It is such an important conversation to be open to having.

If you are struggling with the clouds in your mind, I’d love to tell you this:

The sun DOES comes out (promise), you are more powerful than you realise, and picking up a paintbrush or pencil might just clear your grey skies that little bit more.

]]>http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/art-making-is-so-good-for-your-mental-health/feed/0Body Image. Not a one-size fits-all thing!http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/body-image-not-a-one-size-fits-all-thing/
http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/body-image-not-a-one-size-fits-all-thing/#commentsMon, 30 May 2016 03:33:47 +0000TINO Crewhttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/?p=13289So I know I’ve already spoken about ignoring articles telling you to follow magic tips that will make you love yourself and your body. So think of this is as the direct opposite of those articles and those tips, generally all the things the fitspo stars and bloggers want you to do and think.

Here it is: you do not need to love your body every minute of every day.

What a revelation, what a crazy idea! No? Ok let me explain.

There is so much constant pressure telling you that you need to love your body. And how does that make you feel if you don’t exactly have the best body image? This massive burden telling you you’ve failed at life if you don’t love your body day in day out. I’m here to tell you that every now and then, don’t feel bad if you don’t love every single thing about yourself! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having an off day about your body or randomly don’t love some part of your body. So what!

As long as you aren’t doing anything to fight these ideas that may have a negative impact on your overall health of course (ie. Skipping meals or excessive exercise). Surely if you love your body around 80% of the time, you’re doing pretty great (not an actual statistic, feel free to adjust to suit you). Maybe loving your body 50% of the time is a massive achievement for you. Maybe its more or maybe it’s’ less. It doesn’t matter, its baby steps and you’re doing great!

This is what I mean about body image not being a one-size fits-all thing to work on and fix in the same way. What is a problem for you might be easy for someone else; and what someone else might struggle with, you might not even give a second thought to. This could be that you’re not completely in love with the thought of wearing a crop top, but wear skinny jeans like they are your uniform. That’s completely fine and great and awesome. Everyone’s struggles are different.

I saw an advertisement on TV saying some massive percentage of women have one negative thought about their body a week. They were presenting this statistic as a bad thing that we all need to work on. However I thought ‘Just one? Just one negative thought? How amazing is that!’ With the amount of images in the media that are screaming at us day in day out that we should look like this and wear this etc, the amount of negative thoughts we could be having about our bodies could be basically limitless. So I thought this was a pretty great thing. If you love your body 100% of the time, that’s fantastic! But if every now and then you fall off the self-love bandwagon, that’s ok too. You’re going to be ok. Just remember that tomorrow you can go back to a pretty great body image, whatever that means for you and your body.

A bit about me: Hello! My name is Tarsh and I’m going to be doing blog posts pretty regularly from now on. I have an honours degree in psychology, and will be talking mostly about body image and related topics. The honours thesis I wrote last year was all about body image, exercise and eating so I have done quite a bit of research about all of this type of thing. I hope to cover a range of topics and issues so stay tuned and I hope you enjoy it and maybe even get something out of it.

I recently read an article where Ronda Rousey (former UFC Champion) uploaded a photo-shopped picture of herself to her social media. The photo was sent to her to post in order to promote a TV appearance, and she didn’t notice the editing. She quickly took it down and put up the original, with an explanation for her fans.

You see, the photo-shopping had slimmed Ronda’s arms. Ordinarily, many women would appreciate this editing (normal reaction don’t worry), but the way Ronda sees her body, is that we should all appreciate our own. She has worked long and hard for her sport, and this is what her arms look like as a result. I’m sure she has put in countless hours training and getting her body physically ready for competing and it is not about what her body looks like. Rather, it is about what her body can do.

In psychology, this discrepancy is appearance vs. functionality. People generally exercise in order to achieve something somewhere on the sliding scale between the two. For Ronda, it is all functional. She needs her body to be strong and be able to perform and endure what she does for a living. Many people these days, however, exercise mainly for appearance reasons. They want to tone up, or lose weight or get bigger muscles. When the functionality aspect is lost completely, that is when it can get dangerous. Skipping meals can cause you to miss out on important nutrition, and steroid use does not make you stronger (proportionately) but has so many negative effects on your physical health.

Who has the better body image? Answer: the people who appreciate their bodies for what it can do and not so much for what it looks like. If you’ve given birth, run a marathon or broken a bone, I hope you know how absolutely incredible it is that your body could get through that. Even if you can go upstairs, touch your toes or go for a walk; we shouldn’t take these things for granted. Exercise for function. So you can pick up a box without hurting yourself, so your core muscles can support your back from slouching and so you can walk to the shops without puffing.

Body image improves with age. As people get older, they learn to love their bodies for what it can do, and who cares if it doesn’t still look the same! You hear stories of older or elderly people being fitter and stronger than they have ever been, and you can bet it isn’t so they can squeeze into a size 6 or show off huge guns in singlet.

A bit about me: Hello! My name is Tarsh and I’m going to be doing blog posts pretty regularly from now on. I have an honours degree in psychology, and will be talking mostly about body image and related topics. The honours thesis I wrote last year was all about body image, exercise and eating so I have done quite a bit of research about all of this type of thing. I hope to cover a range of topics and issues so stay tuned and I hope you enjoy it and maybe even get something out of it.

Don't let what you see online negatively affect what you see in the mirror

While I was writing my last post (How to fix your body image), I was listening to a podcast of an interview with a prominent fitspo Instagram personality. They post work-outs and diet tips and of course images of their own “fit” body. I’m sure a few of these types of Instagram’s come to mind, and they often have thousands if not millions of followers. The person being interviewed explained that they had a negative body image in the past, and introducing exercise and improving their diet changed this all around and now they love their body.

However, they said they still have off days about their body and it’s not all sunshine and roses. So you’re not alone! It’s good to acknowledge that even Insta-famous people with huge followings and bodies that people aspire to have their own insecurities and down days about how they look. You’re not the only one that might feel this way, and it further supports my message from the last post, having the “perfect body” you always dreamed of doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be happy with it (think: Victoria’s Secret model).

There is a flipside however, to this positive message spread by these fitspo Instagram’s, which is not all-together surprising. These fitspo Instagram personalities post photos of their incredibly toned bodies, their healthy food and their workouts. Whilst some see this as inspirational, many do not. You may follow all the models and fit people you can, in order to stay motivated and inspired, but it can actually lead to more harm than good. Self-comparison is very common in the world of Instagram and social media as a whole. These people make their bodies seem somewhat achievable, they look like that, why don’t I? So then when you look at your own body; it can lead you to harmful behaviours such as over-exercising or excessive food control.

If you feel like these bodies on your Instagram may be doing more harm than good, or are making you feel bad about yourself in anyway, just click unfollow! Whilst you can’t escape everything, you can do your best to minimise what you’re exposed to. Take away all the bikini, fitness or bodybuilding photos from your Instagram and you just might see a difference in the way you look at yourself.

Tarsh

A bit about me:

Hello! My name is Tarsh and I’m going to be doing blog posts pretty regularly from now on. I have an honours degree in psychology, and will be talking mostly about body image and related topics. The honours thesis I wrote last year was all about body image, exercise and eating so I have done quite a bit of research about all of this type of thing. I hope to cover a range of topics and issues so stay tuned and I hope you enjoy it and maybe even get something out of it.

]]>http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/body-image-and-instagram/feed/0How to Fix Your Body Imagehttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/how-to-fix-your-body-image/
http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/how-to-fix-your-body-image/#commentsWed, 04 May 2016 03:10:59 +0000TINO Crewhttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/?p=13267Hello! My name is Tarsh and I’m going to be doing blog posts pretty regularly from now on. I have an honours degree in psychology, and will be talking mostly about body image and related topics. The honours thesis I wrote last year was all about body image, exercise and eating so I have done quite a bit of research about all of this type of thing. I hope to cover a range of topics and issues so stay tuned and I hope you enjoy it and maybe even get something out of it.

How to Fix Your Body Image

Have you seen headlines like this before? “10 steps to overcome bad body image” or “One thing to overcome a negative body image.” Maybe you saw it in the form of “How to be body confident at the beach.” You see these articles in magazines, health websites, blogs; body image seems to be everywhere. These articles contain advice like: write down 5 things you love about your body, get a spray tan, start exercising to tone up. The thing is, there is no 10 steps, no one hot tip, no magic formula. These publications are trying to convince you that you can easily change and manipulate the way you see your body.

The truth is, everyone’s different. One rule or process isn’t going to apply to everyone and make you love your body overnight. It is nowhere near as easy as these articles make it seem. So if you’ve read these articles, done all the things it tells you, but you still aren’t brimming with body confidence? Then what? Well, it’s not actually your fault.

Body image is such a complicated and deeply rooted psychological phenomenon, and it really doesn’t have much to do with what your body actually looks like, which is why people of all body types, shapes and sizes can be affected by negative body image (many articles have referenced Victora’s Secret models as suffering from bad body image from time to time, and many people see their bodies as *goals* or the standard in beauty. So it doesn’t really have much to do with what your body actually looks like!). Many of these articles that address body image really aren’t getting to the nitty gritty of the problem. Mainly the articles that make you focus on your body, and not what’s going on inside.

So this is my message for you: if you start reading an article about body image or confidence and it’s telling you to lose weight, buy different clothes, wear makeup, get a spray tan or any of these external type things, put it down and slowly back away. Articles like this aren’t going to help you automatically love yourself. If anything, it might make you feel worse about how much you exercise or the clothes you wear.

Don’t get me wrong, if boyfriend jeans make you feel a million bucks or if you only feel fully dressed with winged eyeliner, then that’s perfect! You’ve found something that makes you happy and confident, but I bet you didn’t read it from some article.

And that is exactly my point. You can’t copy tips from a body-confident person and expect it to change your whole life. Body image is so personal to you no matter your body, there’s a high chance a new wardrobe isn’t going to change how you feel about it. Just keep doing and thinking the little things that make you feel good about yourself, the change comes from inside!

]]>http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/how-to-fix-your-body-image/feed/0Psychologyhttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/psychology/
http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/psychology/#commentsFri, 22 Jan 2016 01:57:12 +0000TINO Crewhttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/?p=13128 ‘So, can you read my mind?’ is always the first thing that anyone says when they find out I’m doing a psychology degree, guaranteed. Nope, I will never be able to read your mind, but sometimes it can be a fun game to play along with the remark. My younger sister’s favourite is ‘you must be doing it because you are a psycho!’…not quite.

If not telepathy, then what is psychology? Essentially it is the study of human behaviour which, if you think about it, is a huuuuuggggeeee topic. I mean, how often is it that you can predict another human’s behaviour exactly, all of the time (the answer is never). Psychology isn’t all getting people to lie on couches and tell you how they feel (the whole couches thing doesn’t actually occur that often any more), but there are a number of fields in psychology; forensic (law/prisons), clinical (working with mental diagnosis and treatment), counselling, health, organisational, neuropsychology (brains!), sport, school psychology…..

I’ve wanted to do a psychology degree for as long as I could remember but never knew what it entailed until I actually started it. One thing to note is that in Australia, a psychology degree doesn’t make you a registered psychologist. Undergrad programs in Australia generally consist of a range of units (subjects), often including social psychology (how humans interact), neuropsychology (how brains work), cognitive psychology (how people think), community psychology (how communities function) and research statistics (unfortunately) amongst other subjects.

Currently I’m finishing off my honours year (4th year, when you do a major research thesis [project] for the year alongside some higher level subjects). Once this year is done, I would need to do either a 1 year (generalist psychology) or 2 year (specialised) master’s program, after which may still need supervision in order to become registered. Alternatively I could do 2 years supervision before becoming registered (see www.psychology.org.au/studentHQ./study for more details). It all depends on what specialisation or area you are interested in working in, as well as the availability of supervision.

Despite the fact that psychology can be challenging, I have absolutely loved my degree. For me, my research is actually more along the lines of how people cope after natural disasters and I have been fortunate enough to have been able to travel to Japan to look at communities after the Japanese Earthquake and tsunami as well as working with Buddhists in Taiwan. I’ve made incredible friends, and have been able to get a minor in sociology, some electives in business, and some really cool jobs along the way. It can be hard, but if you are interested in it, I would definitely recommend pursuing psychology (just prepare yourself for the mind-reading jokes).

]]>http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/psychology/feed/0Buying a carhttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/buying-a-car/
http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/buying-a-car/#commentsTue, 08 Dec 2015 04:37:03 +0000TINO Crewhttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/?p=13126 Recently, after a long period of saving from every pay day, I bought a new car. In the process of buying a car, I realised that it’s not very common to walk into a car yard on the first day of deciding to buy a new car, and pick one that you want straight away. For starters, there’s a lot of difference between a Porsche and a Commodore, including in the price tag. There’s also other things to sort out before, during and after the purchase. So I started putting together stuff that I needed to do and/or consider when buying a car:

First priority – what did I want in a car? How many km should it have? What’s my main purpose for it – do I need to take it off-road, or it is just highway and city driving? 3 door of 5? Diesel or petrol? Manual or auto? Trying to decide what you want in the first place can be the hardest bit! Test driving a couple of cars can really help – driving a friend’s car helped me decide on the model I wanted.

Second priority – what’s my price range? Do I want to pay up front (save the money first) or get a loan? For me, I saved up for my car which meant that it took a little longer to get, but I wasn’t paying loans back for the next 3 years.

Once you find a car – test drive time! Take it on the highway, the little streets. Pull over somewhere and inspect it for scratches, space – it might even be worth jumping in the backseat to see what it’s like! If the car isn’t located near you, see if you can get someone you know to test it for you.

Do vehicle checks. There are a number of checks you can do for vehicles online – registration checks for each Australian state are free, and tell you whether the vehicle is registered, written off etc. (just google your state + rego check). There is another check that costs $3-4 (from memory) called the PPSR (www.ppsr.gov.au), which can be worth doing as it tells you whether there is finance owing on the car as well as some other important details. You can also get inspections done – for me personally, this step depends on the car you are buying. As a not car-type of person, even just getting advice from a friend who was a mechanic was useful.

Buy it! Yay! My dad recommended using bank cheques to purchase my vehicle as we went through a private seller, which gives you comfort of mind knowing that you have a record that the seller was paid, and gives you a way of ensuring that both of you end up with what you expected (me a car, them money).

Get insurance – either third party, third party fire and theft, or comprehensive (as the general main categories).

Transfer the rego. In Tasmania, this step costs approximately $300, so worth noting when thinking about the purchase of the car!

If you get to this stage, you are probably looking at a somewhat empty bank account but a shiny new car. Congratulations! If you are anything like me, you will go on plenty of new adventures in your new little (or big) car.

]]>http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/buying-a-car/feed/0The Ugly Side Of Lovehttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/the-ugly-side-of-love/
http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/the-ugly-side-of-love/#commentsTue, 13 Oct 2015 02:05:38 +0000Jesshttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/?p=13075They say it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all. but in some ways I disagree. One of the best things about being young is being able to fall in love fiercely and fall head over heels for a significant other. Those who have been in love before will know how that feels. You are totally consumed with emotions and you crave the presence of the person who makes you feel that way. You almost have a spring in your step as you as so full of happiness and are almost intoxicated on love. But there are a lot of us who have been in love and have experienced the ugly side: heartbreak.

Unfortunately for me I have experienced the ugly side, as I am sure many of you reading this have also. I got involved with the typical guy: handsome, funny, and charming but someone who unfortunately didn’t want a ‘’serious’’ relationship. Now forgive me if I am wrong, but if you are seeing someone multiple times a week, going out to the movies and on dinner dates all the time, that is kind of classified as dating, don’t you think?

I honestly was falling for this guy and I mean I am only human - it is a bit hard not to develop feelings when you spend that amount of quality time with someone. I was devoting a huge amount of time to this guy, and he made me feel special, but what I didn’t realise is that he never wanted to put a ‘’label’’ on it or make things official. To be completely honest that part left me feeling a bit empty. He made me feel wanted and appreciated when I was with him: he would kiss my forehead and be affectionate, but at the same time I was feeling like he was embarrassed to be seen with me, as he was keeping our relationship quite secretive.

This obviously raised some suspicions within my mind. Was he seeing other girls? Did he just want to keep his ‘’single guy’’ image? Was he keeping things unofficial in case someone better came along? And yet I continued to see him as I enjoyed spending time with him and liked the idea of a chance at a relationship in the future. We got along so well. We would laugh, joke around with each other and genuinely have fun. But, as my gut knew it was too good to be true. Someone else did come along after a while and what do you know, he broke things off with me. Now, I really don’t like to use the word ‘’dumped’’ as to me it sounds a little like throwing out the garbage, but it was the perfect word to use for how I felt. How can you go from being affectionate and caring with another person and spending so much time with them, to toss them aside and move onto the next girl? With no reasonable apology or warning? I didn’t understand, and I don’t think I ever will. I felt like my heart had been ripped out, and thrown to the dogs to play tug-o-war with. I felt physical pain. And it took me weeks to get over it. But I should have listened to my gut instinct. I will tell you that I have learnt this:

Girls, or guys for that matter. If you are ‘’dating’’ someone and they are having commitment issues, don’t let yourself get too far gone on an emotional scale. If you feel AMAZING when you are with them, but empty from the little things such as when they won’t introduce you as their partner, or are not proud to be seen with you- distance yourself before you become too emotionally attached. As hard as it may be at the time, you will be much better off than you would be if you didn’t act on your gut instinct. Everybody deserves someone who will love and care for them, and someone who will be with you and be PROUD to be with you, not just be with you for the sake of having a temporary girlfriend or boyfriend figure.

Don’t let yourself be someone’s second option. Let yourself find the right person and be their only option.

Heart break not only teaches you how to be stronger, but it shows you how to love wiser.

Jess

Jess is a 20 year old freelance writer living in Sydney’s Northern Beaches. With a severe case of the travel bug, Jess loves to document and share her interactions with the World as she experiences them. She has a passion for the arts and always believes that something beautiful is on the horizon.

]]>http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/the-ugly-side-of-love/feed/1Stop – Hurry Timehttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/stop-hurry-time/
http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/stop-hurry-time/#commentsMon, 12 Oct 2015 03:38:16 +0000Khttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/?p=13056“Okay, so I’ve got time to schedule milkshakes with you in between going to the gym and that meeting on Thursday, but I’ll only be able to stay for 45 minutes in order to make it back in time. Na, that works best because I’m flat out the week after”.

I was reading somewhere recently that it has become part of our culture to wear ‘busy’ as a badge of honour, with the response to ‘how are you?’ becoming ‘busy’ as if that is a compliment to how we must be so productive in order to live a successful life.

Yes, it is good to be productive, to get stuff done. I know I do this all the time! The question is therefore, what am I sacrificing if I am so busy? Is it my health, my relationships, my wellbeing, my grades? Does this line up with what my priorities actually are? I remember one of the biggest life lessons I have ever learnt was when I was sulking to a friend about how I never got invited to stuff, and he turned around and said ‘the issue was that you were never there – you were so busy’. Jeepers, that’s enough to make you re-evaluate things. Also, when my health crashed I had to make some decisions because I physically couldn’t maintain being so busy. In regards to the above comment about being successful – am I doing less of more stuff, therefore actually leading to an overall decline in whatever it is I am trying to succeed? Sometimes the honest answer to this is yes.

So, what’s the solution? One of them is to STOP. For me, my stop time is often when I sit down with my Bible in the morning. Yes, I schedule it in, because otherwise it doesn’t happen. That’s just how I work though – I work on a schedule, so I have to make time to sit down, breathe, and STOP. And sometimes I have to be aware that my schedule will go completely out the window, because sometimes spending some serious time with that friend is more important than spending an hour stressing over school work that I’ve already finished. Another one is to prioritise. If there is something that is being detrimentally impacted by being so busy, you may need to stop and look at things. While it can suck to let some things go, sometimes it’s important in order to get more balance back in your life. Sometimes it’s just for a season.

Basically, it’s all about balance, not busy. It can be really hard to do, because sometimes it involves saying ‘no’ instead of ‘yes’. Sometimes it involves actually thinking about how you are physically, mentally, emotionally, relationship wise holding up, which can be a hard wake up call. You will be okay though, I believe in you! So, you ready to stop?

]]>http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/stop-hurry-time/feed/1The ‘G’ wordhttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/the-g-word/
http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/the-g-word/#commentsMon, 12 Oct 2015 03:01:29 +0000Jesshttp://www.tuneinnotout.com/?p=13065I want to talk about something that absolutely drives me up the wall: GOSSIP. One would think that once you have survived the doggy-dog world that is high-school and transitioned into the adult world that gossip would cease to be a problem. How very wrong that statement is.

I do not, and will never, understand how some people think they have the right to intrude on other people’s lives and make judgements on a false basis. If that’s what people wanted then they just go to the closest media outlet and place their life story on a silver platter for the world to see. It seems in the current age that no matter what you do, what you say, or what the true story is, someone will manage to add in a twist the mix and share it round the table. And to be honest, I think it is nothing short of childish.

If you ask me, I think it is time that some of society realises that the personal lives of others is not their individual concern. Unless of course you are in a relationship or related to another, their business is their business. It’s as simple as that. Don’t brew up a storm of unnecessary drama, don’t make life more difficult than it has to be for others and just realise that gossip is an absolute and complete waste of breath. Period.

How about instead of bickering about what everyone else is supposedly doing in their life, you concentrate on your own life and your own aspirations. At the end of the day focusing on yourself is going to get you further than spending your time speaking badly of others. Sounds like common sense, I know, but I think sometimes people become easily caught up on false perceptions of people and gossip becomes an outlet for them: like word vomit. In reality if they were being spoken about similarly, they wouldn’t be feeling on top of the world, would they?

Gossip can diminish people’s confidence, charisma and can even push people to harm themselves, so why see it as a form of entertainment for yourself? It is simply ridiculous. When it comes down to it, I am pretty positive that people are aware of what they have and haven’t done in their lives, and they don’t need you to make accusations.

You want my advice? The next time you hear something about a friend, a co-worker or even an acquaintance- instead of spreading the world like wildfire, check the facts; or better yet ask the actual person about it rather than getting involved in a misconceived game of Chinese whispers. Chances are they will tell you the honest truth and it save a heck of a lot of miscommunication, making life easier and more pleasant for everyone. Now that sounds better, don’t you think?

Jess is a 20 year old freelance writer living in Sydney’s Northern Beaches. With a severe case of the travel bug, Jess loves to document and share her interactions with the World as she experiences them. She has a passion for the arts and always believes that something beautiful is on the horizon.