<quoted text>Great post.I would never be with a smoker at all.For a lot of people i know it's a turnoff.A lot of people i know also wont date someone who's a smoker.I knew someone who met a girl on a blind date,and she didn't tell him she was a smoker.He didn't smoke and cares for his health.When he found out she was a smoker,he didn't want to see her again.This was about 3 months ago.

Your friend should be on her knees thanking God that this guy got away. Attempting to start and maintain a relationship with someone who casts away people from items on a list is a giant warning not to get involved. We have a friend who had such a list or what he wanted in a woman. After a brief marriage, he is still alone.

<quoted text>http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Publicationsandstatis..."Figures from Dateline - the UK's leading dating agency - show that a growing number of 'love-seekers' are stipulating non - smokers in their search for the perfect partner. Over 70 per cent of people who signed up to the agency last year in their quest for love stated that they only wanted to be paired up with someone who didn't smoke.Women are even more choosy with eight out of 10 demanding a non-smoking partner. This pattern has increased steadily since 1990, when only 60 per cent of females specifically wanted a smoke-free man.Pauline Lancaster from Dateline, said:"Our figures certainly suggest non smokers and ex smokers are getting their pick of the partners and smokers could boost their chances of finding romance by stubbing out for good.""Often, if one of our client queries that they haven't received many responses from potential partners, we can trace it back to the fact they admitted on their 'compatibility' form to being a heavy smoker. It's amazing how many smokers then call us back a week later to inform us that they've now decided to kick the habit!""

I would never date or have a relationship with a control freak. I've done that before, and it is a miserable existence. If someone does not want to be with me as I am, then I don't want to be with them. Being alone is far more rewarding than attempting to change for someone else. If a person wishes to control my smoking, it is clear that there will be other things that will also bother them. Quitting smoking is something one should do for himself not to win a date on the dating game.

<quoted text>Your friend should be on her knees thanking God that this guy got away. Attempting to start and maintain a relationship with someone who casts away people from items on a list is a giant warning not to get involved. We have a friend who had such a list or what he wanted in a woman. After a brief marriage, he is still alone.

Sheri,my friend is the nonsmoker.He dont want somebody who dont care about their health as in smoking.It's a big turnoff to a lot of people.He wants a nonsmoker like himself.He eats right,loves to bike and run.He wants someone like himself who is fitness and health oriented.I see nothing wrong with that.But than again,you shouldn't try to change someone if they like how they are.I do agree with you on that completely.

<quoted text>I would never date or have a relationship with a control freak. I've done that before, and it is a miserable existence. If someone does not want to be with me as I am, then I don't want to be with them. Being alone is far more rewarding than attempting to change for someone else. If a person wishes to control my smoking, it is clear that there will be other things that will also bother them. Quitting smoking is something one should do for himself not to win a date on the dating game.

I met someone who smoked who wanted to go out.I told him i dont date smokers,since i dont smoke.LOL,he said he would stop smoking for me.I said NO,you stop for yourself nobody else.You do it for you,because you want to improve your health.You NEVER change anything about yourself for somebody else.Because eventuallly you would go back to the way you were before.

<quoted text>Sheri,my friend is the nonsmoker.He dont want somebody who dont care about their health as in smoking.It's a big turnoff to a lot of people.He wants a nonsmoker like himself.He eats right,loves to bike and run.He wants someone like himself who is fitness and health oriented.I see nothing wrong with that.But than again,you shouldn't try to change someone if they like how they are.I do agree with you on that completely.

I agree, but I still stand by my opinion that those who limit themselves to only certain kinds of people limit their chances for real happiness. That, of course,is up to them. It is difficult to find someone who makes you happy and look forward to each new day. It is even more difficult to find someone like that when we put limits on them. Perhaps his good health habits would have eventually led the woman to better choices in her own life through his example. Perhaps she was "the one" in all ways but this. He will never know.

The main disadvantage in downtown Chicago is that it gets interrupted by working ladies, panhandlers, underage teens bumming smokes, and other people who cannot, or will not, enter the bar. The ban is giving new meaning to the word "loitering"

<quoted text>I agree, but I still stand by my opinion that those who limit themselves to only certain kinds of people limit their chances for real happiness.

Sheri wrote:

<quoted text>I would never date or have a relationship with a control freak.

We all have rules about what constitutes a "dealbreaker" when it comes to choosing a mate. Cigarette smoking is unattractive in multiple ways to the majority of the population. Why should we not consider it?

<quoted text>I met someone who smoked who wanted to go out.I told him i dont date smokers,since i dont smoke.LOL,he said he would stop smoking for me.I said NO,you stop for yourself nobody else.You do it for you,because you want to improve your health.You NEVER change anything about yourself for somebody else.Because eventuallly you would go back to the way you were before.

I suppose I am living proof of your final two sentences, Sandy. I met a man and told him from the beginning that I smoked. He was FINE with it; UNTIL; we got serious and then he began to humiliate and belittle me. He finally succeeded in badgering me into quitting. Only, by that time his true self emerged and I discovered he was a certifiable socopathic pervert ;-). My not smoking lasted two years while he continued his usual sick behavior. I started smoking again, ended the marriage (better late than never) and I and my two girls are happy and stable.

<quoted text><quoted text>We all have rules about what constitutes a "dealbreaker" when it comes to choosing a mate. Cigarette smoking is unattractive in multiple ways to the majority of the population. Why should we not consider it?

you know the majority of the population and have spoken to them? That is the only way you will know what anyone thinks

<quoted text>I suppose I am living proof of your final two sentences, Sandy. I met a man and told him from the beginning that I smoked. He was FINE with it; UNTIL; we got serious and then he began to humiliate and belittle me. He finally succeeded in badgering me into quitting. Only, by that time his true self emerged and I discovered he was a certifiable socopathic pervert ;-). My not smoking lasted two years while he continued his usual sick behavior. I started smoking again, ended the marriage (better late than never) and I and my two girls are happy and stable.I will never change for another person again.

Be true to yourself, everything will fall into place and the rest of the world will just have to suck it up and deal with their own self interest

<quoted text>Sheri,my friend is the nonsmoker.He dont want somebody who dont care about their health as in smoking.It's a big turnoff to a lot of people.He wants a nonsmoker like himself.He eats right,loves to bike and run.He wants someone like himself who is fitness and health oriented.I see nothing wrong with that.But than again,you shouldn't try to change someone if they like how they are.I do agree with you on that completely.

Making the assumption that someone doesn't care about themselves is conceit in it's highest order. If you can't accept someone for who they are it screams volumes about you. I have dated both smoker and non never had a problem. I do have a problem with self righteous snobs like you however,cannot even be counted on as a friend because of your judgmental attitude!

<quoted text><quoted text>We all have rules about what constitutes a "dealbreaker" when it comes to choosing a mate. Cigarette smoking is unattractive in multiple ways to the majority of the population. Why should we not consider it?

By the same token a smokers should not expect to be real happy with a non. The knowledge that the non-smoker will most likely have better health, has more self control and more self esteem may cause any relationship between them to falter.

<quoted text> By the same token a smokers should not expect to be real happy with a non. The knowledge that the non-smoker will most likely have better health, has more self control and more self esteem may cause any relationship between them to falter.

I'm married to a non-smoker but not an anti. The topic of smoking has not come up except for smoking bans which he hates nearly as much as me. My husband has played in a band for over 30 years, and this winter and spring was the first time they had trouble finding jobs. Bar owners and clubs simply could not afford to hire bands. When the weather broke, they started playing 3 times a week because all of the bars built patios. Even now, if it rains and they can't play outside, they quit early because there is no one there. When they play outside, they end up playing overtime.

<quoted text> By the same token a smokers should not expect to be real happy with a non. The knowledge that the non-smoker will most likely have better health, has more self control and more self esteem may cause any relationship between them to falter.

I was married to a smoker when i was younger.I thought it wouldn't be a big deal.But the coughing (from him),the burn marks in the furniture and the car,smoke everywhere started getting irritating.Even when the doctors found a spot on one of his lungs,he still wouldn't quit.How can you really care for your health and be a smoker?When smoking is bad for your health.That really dont make no sense at all.

Lets see, i've dated more non smokers.Not a single one of them could keep up with me biking. They were usually more horny and generally lacking in patience. None of them was ever happy about their weight or how their clothes fit.

<quoted text><quoted text>We all have rules about what constitutes a "dealbreaker" when it comes to choosing a mate. Cigarette smoking is unattractive in multiple ways to the majority of the population. Why should we not consider it?

There are many unattractive habits and traits in the people we meet and consider dating. You missed my point, K. My point was it is really hard to find the perfect mate, and if we cannot get past some of these deal breakers, we may miss the one person who fit just so...except for smoking. I feel lucky that I have never been so inflexible that I could not look past the warts and that I have never had to experience someone I loved or could come to love forcing me to change.

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