Every Day You’re Sober IS a BIG F-ing Deal!

I love counting days, months and years of sobriety, and I especially love when others share their numbers! I especially love seeing people announce their milestones – 1 day, 1 week, 1 month and on and on. Because no matter how many days you have managed NOT to drink, we all know, that for us who have this disease, every single day without a drink is a BIG F@cking deal!

That said, I often feel a bit saddened when people don’t feel excited about their days and they just dismiss it as an ordinary event. Why is that?

I think that often we feel shame about being sober, because by being sober we admit that we have a problem – we admit that we are alcoholics. Yes, it sounds kinda rough, leaves a bit of a bad taste in the mouth, huh? It’s hard to fathom that we are not able to drink “normally” like other people. Why us? I know this feeling. But in the reality it’s not just that we can’t drink like others, we have the disease of alcohol addiction, and no matter how we phrase, it is there and there is no way around it.

For me, acceptance was the key; we are all exactly how we are supposed to be, we are all exactly where we are supposed to be, and we all have issues to deal with. Trust me, I didn’t want to have this disease, and I am sure none of us did! But I am and that’s OK. It doesn’t make me a bad person. It just makes ME.

I also understand that many people out there still believe that it is a lack of self-control and no moral standards that cause our addictions. But you know what, that is just not true, you know it, and I know it! If I could have just controlled it away I would have!

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Another belief is that non-drinkers are lame and boring! Well, that’s not true either, I certainly did not get sober to live a boring life! There will always be something that someone will find to talk about. But what other people think of me is none of my business; I am no better or worse than others! And today I’d rather people say, oh there is that boring girl who doesn’t drink anymore, than, oh there is that drunk girl again, wonder what fiasco she will cause tonight!

Today I am a sober – I did not take a drink! That is huge for me and that is huge for you! It’s time to spread the word and feel good about being sober! And spread the hope so that others will also find the strength and courage to do the same. We don’t have to suffer alone! I spent so much of my life in shame, and fear, and secrecy, but being open and honest with people about my recovery feels really good, because we can and do recover!

Of course, I wish I felt this way in early sobriety, so this is why I wanted to write about this now! Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t have done so much research relapsing, and questioning it as much: am I? Am I not? In the end, who cares, really? I knew the answer long before my last drink.

Maybe if getting sober seemed like an amazing thing to do, like running a marathon or climbing a mountain, maybe I would have gotten to it sooner! And maybe if you hear it from me and from others, that this is an amazing and inspiring journey, maybe YOU would find it a BIG F@cking deal too!

So, I think it’s very important to deliver the message that sobriety is amazing and attainable! And it definitely comes from us not being ashamed and being proud and hell yeah, bold and loud! So you may not be quite ready to shout it out from rooftops, that’s OK too, it may take some time, but please, feel proud about being sober!!! It is a HUGE accomplishment!

Sobriety is not shameful! We who find sobriety have worked our asses off and continue to do so to stay sober! That is a lot of work and perseverance! Getting sober IS amazing and for me the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. If everyone out there understood how horribly difficult it is to deal with this cunning and baffling disease of addiction, they too would be proud! And maybe the people still struggling with their addiction would find it easier to raise above and get sober! And then we all can run a marathon or climb a mountain too! We really ought to be proud! I AM proud!

BE. PROUD. AND. CELEBRATE. SOBRIETY.

What day are you on?

If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)*, please check out the Sober Courage menu at the top of this page for an extensive list of support groups and recovery related articles.

*Problem drinking that becomes severe is given the medical diagnosis of “alcohol use disorder” or AUD. AUD is a chronic relapsing brain disease characterized by compulsive alcohol use, loss of control over alcohol intake, and a negative emotional state when not using (Ref: NIAAA).

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Published by Magz

Welcome to the Sober Courage blog!
My name is Magz, and I am in recovery from Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD). I have created this blog to support sobriety and recovery at any stage of your journey. So, if you are in long-term recovery, or just starting out, or even still contemplating, welcome! Please stay a while, read lots, drop a comment, or two, and get inspired! Come join me on The Journey From Liquid Courage to Sober Courage, one day at a time!
Please visit the blog at https://sobercourage.com.
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I love your post!! I completely agree with you when it comes to recognizing anniversary dates. Each day we don’t pick up a drink is a miracle!! I love your brassiness😊 oh and today I have ben sober 319 days and 7,650 hours &damn proud😊

It’s funny – I remember reading one woman in an online recovery forum snarkily remark that she doesn’t believe in counting days because why should we bother celebrating something we should be doing anyway (i.e. not drinking). Ouch!

The fact remains that most people count. Even those who profess not to secretly count. I do believe that some don’t care, but often have an idea of when they got sober.

In the end, I think we do care. I do, at least. I collected every damn chip I could. If they had half-month chips for every month, I would have collected those too. These days, I only count half years and years (I know when 6 months pass because it happens around my belly button birthday). Other than that, I don’t count.

I may not shout off the rooftops, but I am deeply grateful for my recovery. I have to stop and realize that damn, I didn’t do this on my own. This is a miracle in many ways, so I thank God every single night before I go to bed for my recovery. haven’t missed a night. But life goes as it does and sobriety is just a part of it. The major part…but a part.

you are right – there is no shame in it. I revel in it, even if I am fairly anonymous in my own personal life. And I’m fine with that.

Lol! Yeah ouch is right! Well those are the people that I stay away from! Lol! It’s hard enough to stop drinking and change your entire life, to hear that! Ugh

As far as shouting form rooftops, I think it’s still a personal decision. And I didn’t always feel like this, I used to be very anonymous. That said, I know people often disagree with comparisons to any other disease, but I often feel like a survivor. It’s humbling to remember that I was very close to death. But people don’t see this as a miracle when it comes to alcoholism, so I try to shout it out from rooftops when I can.

Great post, thanks. I totally believe that each day counts and is something to celebrate. However, early in sobriety, especially when one keeps having some slips and having to go back to Day 1- it feels very very bad to announce early days again b/c it reminds you of something you feel ashamed of. I decided not to count days anymore early on (even though I am) because I messed up at day 40, then again at day 55…..and now I’m on day 17. But, I really do count those other days as days I’ve learned a lot that mean something to me. Proud of day 17…but, looking forward to many many more and then I might be shouting from the rooftops:)

Thank you! I can totally relate, I relapsed many times! For a while I had to quit counting because it was really depressing. But at the same time, I still learned so much from the times of sobriety – it’s never just all lost! It is all a progress and I think counting is always important because this is not easy at all, but it can be achieved!