Thursday, April 25, 2019

Islam places a great emphasis on relations to b build strong bonds between communities, tribes and nations. But of the relations, the importance of one's relation with one's parents is expressed explicitly and Muslims have been directed to respect and take care of their parents more than any relation in the world.

A Muslim must establish a strong bond with Allah and must never deviate from His commandments in living his life. After Himself, if Allah asks a faithful to respect and be kind to anyone is his parents. At almost a dozen places in the Holy Qur'an, it has been stressed upon the Muslims that they must recognize their parents and that this is second only to the recognition of Allah Himself.

Your Lord has decreed: (i) Do not worship any but Him;26 (ii) Be good to your parents; and should both or any one of them attain old age with you, do not say to them even "uff (fie)" neither chide them, but speak to them with respect, and be humble and tender to them and say: "Lord, show mercy to them as they nurtured me when I was small." (Quran Surah Al Isra 17:23-24)

This verse enjoins that after Allah’s right, the greatest of all the human rights is the right of parents. Allah has forbidden children against disrespect to parents. We are told not to speak contemptuously to them: the word given in Arabic is “uff,” and even this simple groan of scorn is forbidden. Instead, Allah has told us to address them with honor and deference. Therefore, the children should obey and serve and respect their parents. The collective morality of society should make it incumbent on children to be grateful and respectful to their parents, they should serve them as they nursed and brought them up in their childhood. Above all, this verse is not merely a moral recommendation but is the basis of the rights and powers of parents the details of which we find in the Books of Hadith and Fiqh. Moreover, respectful behavior and obedience to and observance of the rights of parents comprise the most important element of the material education and moral training in the Islamic society and civilization. Incidentally, all these things have determined forever the principle that the Islamic state shall make the family life sound and secure by laws, administrative regulations and educational policy and prevent its disintegration.And yet again Allah tells the believers to be good to their mothers for they have borne them for nine months with utter hardship, and raised him:

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."(Quran Surah Al Ahqaf 46:15)

This verse tells that although the children should serve both the mother and the father, the mother’s right is greater in importance on the ground that she undergoes greater hardships for the sake of the children. The same is borne out by a Hadith, which has been related with a little variation in wording in Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Musnad Ahmad, and in Adab al- Mufrad of Imam Bukhari, to the effect that a person asked the Prophet (peace be upon him): Who has got a greater right to my service? The Prophet replied (peace be upon him): Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your father. This Hadith precisely explains this verse, for in it also allusion has been made to the triple right of the mother: (1) His mother bore him with hardship. (2) She gave him birth with hardship. (3) His bearing and his weaning took thirty months.The commandments to respect the parents continue. Here in Surah Al Isra 17:24 there is a perfect prayer given for children to recite so that Allah may have mercy on parents:

“And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’”.

The phrase “lower to them the wing of humility” has been interpreted as an image of the way birds spread their wings out of protection and love for their young. Our treatment of our parents is shown in the same way: we should be humble, respectful, and loving towards themIn Surah Luqman (31:14), Allah says:

"We have enjoined upon man care for his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents, for to Me is the final destination."

Although man has been directed to respect and act in kindness to his parents, there is one exception - and that is if the parents ask him to associate anyone with Allah:

And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. (Qur'an Surah Al-'Ankabut 29:8)

According to traditions quoted by Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Abu Daud and Nasai, this verse was sent down in respect of Saad bin Abi Waqqas. He was 18 or 19 years old when he embraced Islam. When his mother, Hamnah, daughter of Sufyan bin Umayyah (niece of Abu Sufyan), came to know that her son had become a Muslim, she said, “I will neither eat nor drink nor sit in shade unless you disown Muhammad. The rights of the mother are superior even according to Allah’s command. Therefore if you disobey me, you will be disobeying Allah too.” Saad was perplexed and came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and told this entire story. At that, this verse was revealed. Possibly other young men who embraced Islam in the initial stage at Makkah were also confronted with similar situations. However, while the same theme has also been repeated in (Surah Luqman: Ayat 15), showing compassion to the parents is still stressed:

But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.

This means that even if our parents strive to make us commit the worst act in Islam, we must still treat them with justice. There is no concept of leaving our parents in Islam, even if they are disbelievers. To further elaborate this point, there is a saying from the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, narrated by Asma, the daughter of the Prophet’s good friend, Abu Bakr. Asma once asked the Prophet (pbuh) how she should treat her mother, who was a polytheist. The Prophet of Allah replied, “Treat your mother well.”

Our indebtedness to our parents is so immense that it is not possible to repay it fully. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has on many occasions stressed the importance of both parents so that they should be respected. While he kept a mother on a much higher pedestal and said:"Paradise lies under the feet of the mother," he has also said: "Allah's pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and Allah's displeasure is in the displeasure of the father." Thus he sums up: "He who wishes to enter Paradise through its best door must please his parents."The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) has also been quoted as saying: “Every righteous child who casts a look of mercy and affection upon his parents shall be granted, for every look of his, rewards equivalent to that of an accepted Hajj.” Those around the Prophet questioned: “O’ Prophet of Allah! Even if he were to look at them a hundred times a day?” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) replied: “Indeed! Allah is the Greatest and Most Kind.”

It has also been attributed to The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, saying:

Shall I not tell you about the worst enormities? They are three: idolatry against Allah, disobedience to parents, and false witness. [Source: Sahih Bukhari 2511]If the Prophet has associated disobedience to parents with idolatry and falsehood, the worst sins in Islam, then this tells us that disobedience is not a sinful deed we should take lightly.May Allah keep us on the right path and help us in repaying our parents for what the troubles and hardships they have endured in raising us and letting us stand on our feet and let us not disobey them in any form, lest it hurts them and we earn wrath of Allah. Aameen.

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