Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Adaptation

I fear change like I fear spiders and hair in my food. Even when these things are not there, they are always on my mind...always partly in my consciousness.

I am at a stage in my life where things are changing. Growing. Stretching. Part of me fears that I'm not actually changing at all, but that my surroundings are, and I'm just learning to adapt. Maybe this is all change is. Adaptation. Acceptance. Maybe we don't change at all, we just learn to acknowledge and respect changes in others.

I think that sometimes we honestly just have to believe that we will change when we are ready, and when we are meant to change. I have spent many nights, many long days, beating myself up over the choices I have made and will make, and I have finally reached the conclusion that I'm doing everything as I should be. Don't push yourself. Trust that it will be ok.

It's hard. Hard not to interfere, but I think there's some beauty in getting it wrong, and somehow getting it completely right at the same time.

1 Comments:

Hmm. Change. I've been thinking about change a lot recently. Turns out, I've changed quite a bit in the past month. My situation hasn't changed that much, so I wouldn't say that's the source. When I think about it, what's changed for me is my viewpoint, my take on life.

I've recently decided to go after something different. I made the decision to change my life and go to culinary school, and even though I'm still waiting to see if I get accepted, making that choice was a change. Thinking about things differently is a change.

This is what I think today. It will be different next time; it's always different.