A few years ago, I studied more into the Proverbs 31 woman, and considered what she might be like today. I typed up a blog post in case anyone might be curious too, and put it online, not thinking too much about it.

To my amazement, the feedback was so positive, and bigger than I thought it would be. Years later, women are still connecting with this post, getting encouragement and focus through it. (And once in a while there’s a nasty comment over it, too – what are you going to do?)

All credit goes to God for that. I didn’t write Proverbs, and I don’t even remember what prompted me to write about the famous woman in chapter 31. But I’m glad that God is still working through it to reach women in all circumstances.

On the other hand, there is so much more to it than what I was able to get out of it in that tiny blog post. It’s the Bible – it’s dynamic, it relates to different people in different ways. And there is so much more to uncover.

Let’s Go Further

Today I’m kicking off a new study series called The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman. We’ll be going through this chapter and studying out various parts of this woman’s character. We will also relate it to what it means for us today.

The Goal

My hope with this study series is to help you know what a powerful role we have as women, and how purposeful life can be. There are a lot of misconceptions about women in our society and even in our religious history that can leave us feeling like we don’t have much to say or do in this world. But the Word makes it clear – God sees us, values us, and designed us with great things in mind.

Please Note

There are a lot of assumptions made about this probably-fictional character of the Bible. (My friend Gina has a great post debunking myths about the Proverbs 31 woman.) Here’s what you need to know – she was given as an example of characteristics for young men to look for in a wife – not a checklist for women to follow. She’s not meant to be someone to measure yourself against – just inspiration.

Who Is This Study For?

Any woman. Any stage of life.

Guess what? She’s a wife and a mom, but that doesn’t mean you have to skip over her if those aren’t your roles right now. She has so many amazing characteristics that work for any woman, in any stage. I think this study will be beneficial to you no matter what stage you’re in.

Finally, what if you’re not a Christian, or you’re not sure where you stand in your beliefs? Can this help you? Absolutely yes. The whole goal of my blog is to encourage a full and fulfilling life where you are. Applying these goals to your life can only bring good things. And it will help you learn more and make informed choices about the Word. If you’re open to learning, this is for you.

Let’s Do This

The posts will go up in the upcoming months. (Because it WILL take a while!) I’ll update this page with the posts as they go up.

Please do let me know if you have questions going forward! Comment below or email whatyoumakeitblog@gmail.com. I’m excited to dig into this with you guys!

Thank you so much to Basic Invite for sponsoring this post. I was provided product for review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Above Photo Credit: Robert J Swanson

For all of you who don’t know, my brother is getting MAAARRRRRRRRIEEEEED! It’s still hard to believe for me. Every time I say I don’t believe it, he says, “because you never thought it would happen?” in a totally self-deprecating, but totally my brother kind of way.

But it’s not that. I just have this big sisterly way of looking at him and seeing him as a toddler in his playpen. Getting butterfly stitches because we were running around the house, and he ran into the corner of a wall. In a crossing guard uniform. Pretend stabbing me with a prop sword on stage for Peter Pan. At summer camp. He knows me better than almost anyone. And he is and he isn’t 26 in my mind.

Anyway, enough with the mushy stuff. He and his bride Allie were looking for the perfect wedding invitations. Coincidentally, Basic Invite reached out to me to collaborate on a blog post – what perfect timing! We were able to browse their selection, try out their design service and see the goods for ourselves.

The Selection

Right away when you look at their site, you’ll find a clean, modern, minimal style that just hits the spot. Check out their inspiration gallery to get an idea. There are designs that have a hand-lettering feel, watercolors, more traditional approaches, art deco, marble, outdoorsy. You can pretty much find elegant wedding invitations to fit any taste (which can be hard to do when you’re trying to represent two people in one invite).

Basic Invite takes it a step further by offering an incredible amount of customization: almost unlimited colors, plus foil (including rose gold!), optional photo addition, wording, paper type, card shape. You can truly make it what you want it to be.

Finally, along with 900 possible invitations, you can get the set – everything you need for your wedding to fit the same theme. This includes ceremony cards, registry cards, thank you cards, save-the-dates, programs, magnets, menus, even custom wedding coasters.

Not planning your wedding? Basic Invite also has all kinds of stationery – business cards, thank you notes, invitations to all kinds of events. Feel free to think outside the box.

The Process

In both my and Allie’s experience, the process is pretty smooth. Everything, right down to the colors of the font, is customizable, and as you customize, you can see it pulled up on the preview. I like that they have text boxes where you can put in your exact wording – I know wording can be tricky for everyone.

I also love that you can order inexpensive samples, so if you want to look at them in person before you order 250 of them, you can. Allie loved all the options, and felt that it was easy to navigate. We also both agreed that they do a great job of making sure everything is double checked before your order.

She did note (and I agree) that the preview lags a bit as you are working with the customization options. Just something to keep in mind as you are working on yours. Otherwise, again, a smooth process.

The Results

I mean. They just came out beautiful. Allie was able to choose the colors she wanted to get just the right effect. When you’re getting married, it means so much to have so many details under your control.

The shipping was quick and came beautifully packaged. Again, you really do have the opportunity to check and re-check that your order is right, even to the point of being able to order samples so that you can have them in-hand to see the full effect.

Finally, if all of that wasn’t enough, Basic Invite also offers free wedding websites (that you can match to your invites), and a free address collection service – just share a link to your guests, gather the addresses, and get them printed on envelopes for free.

I’m so glad to have been able to work with Basic Invite on this post. If you’re getting married, go easy on yourself, and try Basic Invite as a one-stop shop for printing as well as online services. PLUS get yourself 15% off with code 15FF51 !

What print items do you love seeing in a wedding? Anything stand out to you in a wedding invitation?

Have you ever noticed that movies tell you a lot about meeting and getting the right guy, but not about what happens after marriage? I mean, how does a couple, in fact, live “happily ever after”? What does that even look like?

Help a girl out.

Typically it’s the big fancy weddings and sweet romantic stories that sell the most. The details of making the same commitment over and over don’t always win an audience, so they can be a little fuzzy. (This is Us may be the one exception to that rule, and I love it.)

The key is not becoming a happy wife, or a perfect wife, or even a super productive wife. The key is becoming a Godly wife.

How to do that is straightforward, but not easy. The answers come from the Bible. And they apply to all of us. It doesn’t matter which country you live in, how old you are, how long you’ve been married, or what your marriage currently looks like.

First of all, idolizing anyone isn’t healthy – for you or them. Worshipping your husband and expecting him to fill all your needs is a lot of pressure. Even if he’s an amazing guy and has all the best intentions, he’s still imperfect and will fall short.

Moreover, God does fit that role. He knows us intimately, and fulfills us in ways that no one and nothing on earth can.

2. Be an ezer, a help.

Before you get all up at arms at me about being “the help,” hang in there. The Bible uses the word “ezer” to describe Eve as Adam’s helper, specifically designed by God as a suitable partner to work with Adam. The same word is used to describe God himself in Psalm 115, Psalm 121, Psalm 124, and other places in the Old Testament. So we’re not talking the awkward sidekick or silent assistant.

When I think about how God acts as a “help” for me, instead of the above things, I think about how he makes up for what I lack, provides a perfect balance to my extremes, and helps me shoulder the burden, so I don’t have to go at it alone. Those are the ways we can help our husbands, too.

3. Bring him good.

I love the description of the Proverbs 31 woman, where it says she brings her husband “good, not harm, all the days of his life” (verses 11-12 NIV). It also says that he “has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

What an amazing role you can play in bringing joy, encouragement, and value to your husband and his life. It’s a choice we can consciously and constantly make. (And as far as I know, it doesn’t apply exclusively to wives. But remember, we’re talking about goals for us, not them.)

Also, while it might be a little overly optimistic (slash overwhelming?) to think of always bringing the good, him never lacking anything of value, again, remember these are goals, and the P31 woman is an example. (Also she happens to be a wife, but there’s a lot about her that applies to women at all stages of life.)

4. Submit to him.

Oh, here we go. Bring up the word “submit” and things get heated, fast. Before anything else, look at Ephesians 2:21 NIV – “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (emphasis mine). That means it goes both ways.

However, the wife does get that direction twice over (next, in verse 22). Honestly I don’t have it all worked out (although hopefully I have a guest post coming soon for you that does).

But two things. First, in any kind of social structure, it’s important to have authority, for someone to be in charge. Ideally, it’s someone who considers everyone’s needs and makes decisions for everyone’s good, sometimes even sacrificing on their own part. But someone’s gotta do it. The Bible lays out the husband for that role.

Second, there are needs intrinsically ingrained in us. We all want to be loved and respected. For men, there tends to be a stronger need for respect. They feel value and fulfillment from admiration and support. For women, it tends to be love, to be wanted and appreciated. If I think about the roles in these terms, they make so much sense to me – more opportunities to show respect to my husband by trusting him in his role of leading the family, and more opportunities for him to show me he loves me by considering me and making the tough decisions.

At the end of the day, it’s an opportunity to trust God and really be submissive to him.

Why be a Godly wife?

1 Peter 3:1-6 says there are amazing benefits to being a Godly wife. It says that we can have a powerful impact on husbands, especially unbelieving husbands. (Proverbs 31:28 says a Godly husband has reasons to praise her too, so either way.) It also says it makes us shine in a way that no hairstyle or pretty piece of jewelry can make us glow. We can have an unfading a beauty that comes with a gentle and quiet spirit.

Proverbs 31:25 NIV says a wife (or woman) that pursues Godly things is “clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” I would love for those words to describe me. I’d love to look at life that way.

It’s a tricky topic, but when we really embrace God’s role for us, even if we don’t quite understand it, it bring so much joy to the whole household.

Well, I’m back after a week. (We sure do love the beach in the off-season.) And while it’s never great to be back from the beach, I think it’ll be nice to be back to our routine.

And also back to blogging again. I let everything come to a halt Sunday. It started with taking Instagram off my phone, then Facebook, and finally, I even opted out of blogging for the week.

I spend so much time analyzing, stressing, mulling it all over, and even just scrolling; like, an embarrassing amount. And it’s way too often that my family gets the short end of my attention span. So I decided the best way to spend the week was just to focus on them, and remove all distractions.

At the risk of sounding like the end of a Fuller House episode, I’ll say this: I can feel a mind shift as I’m leaving this week. It’s not something I can really explain or quantify. But I feel more myself, more mindful and in the moment, and even a little more confident. Maybe it’s just a coincidence that it’s happening after a week off social media, but I don’t think so. I think this might be the start of a trend – maybe not off completely, but a little more.

Anyway, along with some photos to document our trip, here are some pro tips for bringing your littles to the beach. It’s things we learned for ourselves as the week went on, things we wished we’d known from day one.

1. Take as little to the beach with you as possible.

At the beginning of the week, we had a cooler, towels, books. By the end of the week, our kids weren’t even wearing shoes, much less swimsuits. The after-beach burnout is real, and no one wants to lug all their stuff back up the beach and out to the car after it all.

Speaking of sand – it also makes putting on creamy sunscreen impossible. Do yourself a favor and lather everyone up before the fact.

4. Sun hats – all day every day.

Enough said (but pick the ones that have straps for extra luck actually hanging on to them).

5. Bring everyone you know.

I’m kidding, sort of. But it’s a little nice to be able to get away just the two of you on your vacation, and to have family or friends who can take the kiddos. If it’s not possible, give each other some time off to get to the beach on your own. Vacations are busy and tricky and not as relaxing as they used to be, so take every bit of peace you can.