Undertaker Fan Comes Out of Retirement for One Last Beer Chug

NEW ORLEANS — In a surprise showing at Wrestlemania 34 Sunday night, lifelong Undertaker fan Catfish Johnson came out of retirement for one final beer chug.

Johnson says he has been getting roaringly drunk watching Undertaker win matches since he made his WWE debut in 1990, but he hung up his boots after Undertaker’s retirement at Wrestlemania 33 last year.

“Yup, I was there, totally wasted, in ’97 when he beat Sycho Sid for the World Heavyweight Championship,” said Johnson, shoving away a child to get a better view of the Undertaker vs. John Cena match. “It’s good to be back out here doing what I love.”

The Undertaker has not yet announced whether he will return to retirement following Sunday’s match. But Johnson says he’s ready to get completely hammered during every bout regardless of the physical and psychological toll it takes on him.

“Years of heavy drinking at WWE matches is tough on the body, but somebody has to do it,” said Johnson, recounting the hundreds of matches of which he has nearly no recollection whatsoever. “It’s been quite the ride.”

At press time, wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin was chugging beers in his living room to prepare for his eventual return to the ring.