The inaugural playtest of the new Demon Hunters RPG: A Comedy of Terrors

Chapter Rho 7 receives a request for back up; they are the only team in the area. The case involves stories of ghosts at the Statue of Liberty. WhileJack catches some serious R & R, Isaac appoints himself temp Chapter Leader and he and the rest of the team head out to meet their contact Jack Roberts, a NY fireman who has been responding to fire alarms that keep going off at the monument.

They meet Jack, well “the other Jack”, at the Sandy Spatula on the main pier. Upon entering, Ursula is asked to leave her hammer at the door. She places it firmly in the wall by the door. In exchange them buying him lunch, Jack relates a legend surrounding William the Kid: a famous pirate who is rumored to have buried his treasure on what is now Liberty Island. Every time he has responded to a fire alarm, the lights dim in the statue and people claim to see the dead pirate’s ghost at the top of Lady Liberty’s torch.
The Cipher picks up a tranmission that the police are on their way. Apparently the restaurant owners called 911 about a violent patron who damaged their wall. The Chapter they manage to escape and get to their van. The blaring of policer sirens are closing fast. However, the team has an even bigger problem: no one can drive. (They feel through a dimensional plot hole to get there).

Isaac, “Don’t tell Jack”.

Luckily one of the big red buttons on the dashboard activates the auto pilot Cipher. Auto Cipher gets them away from the police and to the shore a few miles away. The van converts into a plot point fueled raft. They zip around the harbor till they reach Ellis Island. The team decides to ditch the van. Ursula tries to push it over the edge back into the water. She fails. However, the Brotherhood remotely blows up the vehicle. Problem solved.

“Don’t tell Jack.”

The team takes the ferry over to Liberty Island. Ursula jumps into the water and finds a sniper rifle. They meet their contact Murdock “the Rooster” Cockburn of Chapter Epsilon 1. (Remember: each member has only one eye.) Roos is not happy to see a bunch Rhos when all they requested was a backup Cipher. Theirs has been acting weird. The Epsilons are there investigating reports of “ghosties”, major poltergeist activity. They meet the rest of the members of the Chapter including old acquaintance Snape Lipskin. The Chapters spilt up to continue the investigation and will reconvene at the Flag Pole at 11:00pm.

Isaac uncovers a very elementary summoning circle around the flag pole. The circle was made before the Statue of Liberty was erected. The pirate was hung on that very spot. Isaac believes the treasure is hidden under the flag pole.

The Hunters run into Eplison’s Cipher “Morph”. He is cryptically philosophical and wants to share the “truth” with them. He holds out two pills, one red the other blue. Ursula immediately grabs the red pills jams it into a corndog and eats it. The rest of the team is flabbergasted. Urs gets a really bad stomach ache; she’s also really, really horny.

The team checks out the inside of the Statue. The electric panel indicates there have been 3 major power surges within the last 24 hrs. The surges occur every 8 ½ hrs and have been increasing in strength. The energy is drawn into the torch, then dispersed down through the statue and below it. They make their way up to the top. The door to the torch is firmly locked. There is a set of heavy duty electrical cables running along the wall converting the torch into one big lightning rod.

The two Chapters meet back up and discover a set of stairs under the flag pole. . A gigantic black shape rises up. Ursula whacks the thing; it tickles. He asks the Hunters why they are there. Ursula says “for the treasure”. Wrong answer. The demon picks her up and throws her in the water. She finds another sniper rifle. Vlad moves out of swatting range and fires a shot that rings off the beast’s horns. Arms grab him from the nearby shadows. Splash! He joins his teammate in the water.

The creature is annoyed at being called a demon. It is a Nightshade, an extremely rare being that even the Brotherhood knows little about. He is the guardian of William the Kid’s treasure. One of the Epsilons fires a rocket launcher at the Shade. Splash! Snape attacks. Sploosh! Another one in the drink.

Realizing that attacking the Nightshade is pointless, they question him about the paranormal activity on the island. Since water interferes with paranormal energy, someone is trying to power up a ghost. Suddenly a thunderstorm appears out of nowhere. There is another power surge and the eyes of Lady Liberty glow with an eerie light. Then entire Statue and pedestal rise up supported by spider like electrical cables. A figure can be seen in the torch screaming in agony.

The team runs up to the top and finds Jack Bishop strung up like a human spark plug. The Rooster throws a bolas of holy corndogs and sets Jack free. He was nabbed the day before. Unfortunately he sorted out some brain cells and can’t remember who took him. Just that they were planning on to move the statue into NYC to cause general destruction and chaos.

The Chapter crashes a black mass at Harvard University and combat ensues. Jack shows off his new “Lightning Rod”. There is throat cutting, Hunters getting stabbed; Vlad makes some cultist friends, more stabbing, a little gun fire. Oh, did I mention they got stabbed a lot?

The head Cultist chants a curse causing everyone to start bleeding through their skin. Jack manages to flashy the guy in the eyeballs. The Cultist invites the Hunters forward while the mob starts chanting in infernal, “Face the raging storm of the Dragon God”.

Flashback 2 Weeks: The Chapter is assigned to investigate odd sink holes in Boston the Brotherhood thinks could be related to the new Black Mass group at Harvard. Most of the Chapter waits in the Warehouse while Jack takes a flight from San Diego to Boston. The team investigates the sink holes posing as expert geologists. On initial inspection, the Cipher informs them that this hole looks like it was created by a Bašmu: an ancient Mesopotamian snake-creature with 2 horns, 2 forelimbs, and wings. Bašmu is the offspring of Tiamat goddess of Chaos.

Trader Vic sweet talks their way into the morgue so Erasmus can examine 2 bodies found by the hole. Victim #1 Gerard Dean: multiple bite marks across the chest. Victim #2 Naomi Wheeler: 2 puncture wounds and claw rake on the back. Erasmus also extracts a paralytic toxin from the bodies and sends it to the Warehouse for an anti-toxin.

Additional Tiamat info: the hero Marduk defeats Tiamat and her 11 children with various weapons, a net and his greatest weapon: the Flood of Rain. The Cipher hacks into the buildings sprinkler system in prep the future fight. Vlad is thrown into black van and disappears.

Flash-forward to blood and battle. Suddenly reality pops back to life as the Hunters come out of some delirium completely unharmed. A big snake monster rises from the ground. Erasmus notices the beast is of dirt right before he and Jack get swiped by a claw. The Cipher activates the sprinklers and the creature starts to melt. Jack pulls a Zeus and drops vortex of electricity, obliterating the monster and the cultist’s mind.

In his discarded tome, Jack finds that he is a member of the Temple of the Black Light who use spells from Advanced Dungeons and Dragons and could possibly summon the other 10 beasts of Tiamat.

When Dreams Come True

Submitted by Maria Mester

Jack is promoted to Chapter leader and is given the Rho Sword. Drive from Austin, TX to Tijuana Mexico to investigate 3 instances of mysteriously burned bodies. Hunters use fake mortuary papers to enter 1st scene wearing hazmat suits to convince police and “Mafios- os-“to leave the apartment. Search the room: find IDs for the victims, Jack blows out the kickass radio, and Twitch finds on the computer that victims are part of a very exclusive radio station by DJ the Pirate Demon. Find similar radios at other sites. Discover that Johnny Cash’s original song “ Ring of Fire” was playing at the approximate time of deaths. Hunters catch new bit on 5 “suicides” of people jumping off buildings. Van Halen’s “Jump” is on the song list.

Cipher pinpoints radio signal from Cabo San Lucas. On the drive there, the hunters feel an irresistible urge to stop at the Hotel California. They are trapped and must interpret the lines of the song to get out. Jack electrifies the tentacle beast “that can’t be stabbed by steely knives” into mush. They eventually figure out that “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device” means the Bluetooth ear pieces Jack had given each of them at the start of the session. With those removed they continue on.

The Chapters arrives in Cabo and find a small house with some major antenna and a reinforced connection to power lines; they see “Smoke on the Water”. Jack, with the support of his fellow hunters, powers down the entire house WITHOUT blowing anything up. Ursula smashes in the locked cellar door. Next door she bashes the bejesus out of the 2nd door which is reduced to watermelon seed sized splinters.

Inside there are torches, candles and an unconscious man wearing head phones. Jack tries pulling the plug on the signal. Ursula ends her mallet. They discover small glass box that Isaac identifies as a tulpa: a device allows an idea to come to like by sheer will alone. He suspects a Cross Roads demon and that #27 refers to 27 deaths by songs or maybe a 27th Club death. BeforeJack can inspect it, Ursula shatters it. The curse is lifted, Jack is pissed. Brutality over intellect saves the day.

DJ is Dwayne Hodges. He watches music videos on his phone and it explodes, killing him. Video really did kill the radio star.

Start in Romanian mountains. Snape of the One-Eyed Chapter Epsilon One drops off a demon sitting on an arcane toilet in a trailer. No info other than “don’t break the seal”. Chapter tries (unsuccessfully) to learn demon’s name. Demon summoned away to Indianapolis, IN Westin Hotel during Gen Con.

Chapter enters a room w/ Lovecraftian type LARP. Demon is standing in the middle of a summoning circle. Turns to smoke and enters 4 cultists—2 guys 2 girls—granting them his power to make wishes.

“I wish all this was real!” LARPers turning to various creatures. Dayman become “The Dayman”; shining halo and the bulge in pants is no longer a sock.

The 3rd cultist Blonde Chick wishes for unlimited wishes and takes the demonic smoke from the other 2. “I wish you to worship me”. Every Hunter makes his roll to resists. She asks them to join her in raising the Elder Gods. Jack asks to understand and goes temporarily insane. Ursula attacks a wall column trying to bring down the ceiling and the swimming pool above. Dayman super karate kicks the bitch in the face. Vlad shoots her in the head. But her head grows right back.

Dayman wishes that Wolf was there. He magically pops in. Grabs a handful (literal) of LARPers and throws them; they explode. Wall and pool come down. Swimming Jack wishes “everything is back to normal”. Room goes back to normal. Demon materializes again. His name turns out to be Shirley and is banished back to hell.

Jack has discovered that the Crawling Chaos is real and trying to invade our world. Crawling Chaos is also an extremely popular game (RPGs, TCGs, MMORPGs) that include real spells and rituals. LARPers group the Esoteric Fellowship of the Crawling Chaos. Jack also finds he can’t use his electrokinesis; possible related to his wish for everything to be “normal”.