Yeah, I had a bit of a marathon today. This time it was wrestling. But first butts. The queens were divided up into three teams of four and given materials to create large rear ends – various kinds of foam rubber and packing peanuts. The best queen on each team wins. They have thirty minutes to create, pack and do some kind of drag (all are wearing stretch pants and heels by the end.) The winners (I have no idea what RuPaul’s criteria were, and I honestly don’t care) were Phi Phi, Willam and Chad.

They pick teams for a wrestling match (and bump stomachs and otherwise act like pro wrestlers when they do, because they may be queens and ladies, but they’re also boys. It’s adorable.) Half of each team are the Faces or Heroes, half are the Villains or Heels. (And they themselves are all the Luscious Ladies of WTF.) Which means they have to design wrestling outfits and drag that makes them appropriate but also beautiful. This comes into play when Ru talks to one team, who want the villains to wear beards but she changes their minds.

The wrestling matches are fun – they each do a little skit at the beginning with the Heroes talking and then the Villains crashing in. The funniest villains were Madame LaQueer and Chad, for Chad’s team. And LaQueer is nursing an injured ankle and really doesn’t want to do anything active. Until she was on, and then she was ON. However, Latrice and Kenya (fantastic pairing!) were also amazing. I don’t even remember the others, and I saw it tonight.

At the runway show (they’re instructed to be very girly, which would be a problem for Sharon), it’s announced that Chad’s team wins, and that the overall winners are LaQueer and Chad. They do not get immunity, but they do leave the runway.

The other queens are judged on a combination of runway look and wrestling match, and honestly – well. It’s down to LaShawn, who doesn’t look good, and The Princess, who looks adorable BUT did a terrible job in the ring. The Princess does a much better job and LaShawn leaves to gain more experience.

And, honestly speaking, none of it matters because Untucked blew me away. The winning team settle into the lounge with their drinks and start talking about Jiggly. It seems Jiggly said she found the idea of two performers – two drag queens – dating each other to be disgusting. And Sharon is dating another performer, named “Alaska.” And Sharon doesn’t care what people say about HER, but no one attacks her family. Chad isn’t happy about that, either.

Ru tells them to go to the Gold Bar to open the Big Pink Box. The note says there’s something Sharon Needles is missing. They all guess her boyfriend,and so it is. Alaska seems sweet and loving and with a wicked, snarky sense of humor and it’s clear Sharon loves her very much and misses her. The other three hug her and sniffle at the scene and it’s just nice. But Chad also says that maybe Jiggly

Meanwhile, on the runway, the remaining queens are asked who is the least popular, and they all name Jiggly, who is understandably upset. Latrice and Phi Phi help conduct an intervention, explaining they weren’t throwing shade. Jiggly wants to believe that her experiences are the worst, but Phi Phi had also been beaten up – spent her eighteenth birthday in the hospital, and Latrice lost her mother while she was in PRISON. And they are not altogether dealing with those experiences, either, but they are not letting them rule their lives as Jiggly is. And that had me in tears. They also assure Jiggly she has a dozen sisters now.

Then we go back to Gold Bar where Sharon attempts to throw some shade (more cute joking, I think) that she was so amazed at Chad for having surgery to get the mask she has to use make-up to get.

At which point, Chad becomes entirely awesome. She’d been convinced, twenty years ago, to get silicon injected into her face so she’d look more like Cher, and it was a “random stranger” using a black bag of silicon, and it was done asymmetrically, and has caused her many problems and she’d had multiple corrective procedures because she did this. And she gently explained that no one should ever do this, that there are safer procedures and they should learn from her experiences.

Yep, I was crying AGAIN.

Sharon confronts Jiggly, who says she wasn’t talking about Sharon’s specific relationship and she was just expressing her opinion. But she herself prefers a “real man”. Which Sharon says Alaska IS.

Usually, Untucked are snarkfests of fun and shade, but this was something else again.

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About mamadeb

I'm a devoted fan of Adam Lambert, but also of cooking, knitting, science fiction and pretty anything pop culture. I'm @_mamadeb on Twitter.

Sorry, Mama…but the only REAL drama will be between the two young queens. It’s a gay network, and they…it’s television. Chad’s professional. It’s NEVER been professionalism that’s won the competition. One year it was pretty-and-cute, one year it was …I don’t know what. Last year it was future-of-drag, and this year…Well, Sharon could win for future-of-drag, and Phi-Phi could win for young-and-cute (and a little bitchy). Just remember that if you transliterate Phi-Phi to Hebrew you got mouth-mouth. :)..How appropriate.)….Sharon is Danna International’s name. Chad? As in Chad Gadya? The Chad Gadya got eaten by a cat…and we won’t even GO into cat synonyms..but those girls will. Chad’s goin’ home. There is NO way the dramatic arc will play out as old queen vs. young queen….It’ll either be Chad and Phi Phi who lip-synch or Chad and Sharon. Either way, Chad’s goin’ down. She’s a sweetie, and I would go see her perform if she came to town, but she goin’ down, girl. 🙂

You’re assuming the finale will only be the final two. That’s not what happens. The finale is the final three, with number three eliminated on the runway, and then the final two lip syncing for the win. Phi Phi will be there to provide drama until the end, as Rebecca was first season and Alexis was last year. Then she’ll sashay away and Chad and Sharon will perform. Remember, Bebe and Nina were both seasoned professionals, and Raja and Manila were both fully polished.