okay so i havent been on this forum for quite some time so i thought i would update... i'm not doing any better to say the least i dont really think i will fully recover from losing a friend...i just wish he was here but he's not...ive opted out the option of going to a counselor for help...because ive realized time will hopefully heal everything...i dont think its necessary for me...i used to think it was but i know he's been helping me along the way i may not see him but i know he's holding on and will never let me fall.. <3

I'm sorry to hear that you're still having such a hard time. I'm also sorry that you have given up on the idea of counseling, but that is certainly your choice, and I do respect that. It's good that you feel some comfort from your deceased friend, and I hope that will continue to carry you through this tough time. You already know that this is a good place for support, and I hope you will keep posting.

I am glad you have checked in with us as just knowing you have shared your feelings with other sometimes helps you. It is alway a sad thing to lose a friend and please know that you have the right to grieve in your own way.

May your friend's memory be with you in your heart forever and that the good you shared will keep you warm. I think your friend would want you to be happy. (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Sorry that you are not doing to good and want to warn you that the death of some one very close to you can be very detrimental. so please rethink your decision to forgo counseling.If I had got help when my sister died I could have spared myself and my family a lot of pain both physically and emotionality.Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.

thank you so much for replying<3 but yeah i have honestly opted not to because sometimes i think that would be taking it to the extreme....but thats just how i feel at the moment i didnt feel like that before because i was even worse than what i am now... im still not doing well but i figured maybe time will heal everything and right now i have been taking time for myself and its helped a little but i dont think i will ever be the same again... counseling or not ijust think this will be an ongoing pain that no matter what i do it will Never get easier...i just wish he was here<3

I hope this suggestion doesn't sound trite to you, but have you looked into some books on grieving? I know some people kind of 'pooh-pooh' the idea of self-help books, but there are some truly good ones out there, and I would encourage you to take a look if you haven't already. I believe that Elisabeth Kübler-Rossis a reputable author on the stages of grief, for example. Please keep posting, and know that we care.