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Bernie Frank

I don’t know if it’s ridiculous or not, but I dumped a guy cause he wouldn’t quit making rude comments about my hair. If he didn’t like my hair he should not have asked me out in the first place. I don’t do facebook so I’ll pass on the prize, like I ever win anything anyway.

I don’t think I’ve dumped people for ridiculous reasons. But I definitely remember the worst excuse anyone’s ever given me to ditch me. She said: “I wanna be selfish right now”. A month later, she was banging the guy she really liked.

This might sound a little petty but that’s the beauty of dating…we have choices right?! I met a guy on an internet dating site. When we met face to face, I wasn’t that into him. As soon as he said he didn’t eat sushi and was allergic to fish, I knew it wasn’t a good match. I love sushi, frequent sushi bars and eat salmon or tuna a few times a week..anyways, I told him nicely that I didn’t think we were a good match..

I’m usually fairly honest so I don’t think I qualify for the contest. If I dumped someone for a superfluous reason, it was not for the reason itself but that I wasn’t really into him.

I once had a guy dump me online before we had a chance to meet up. After a couple of emails (where he took 2 weeks to respond to me w long-winded messages that included TMI), he told me that based on our correspondence he didn’t feel we were a match. No love lost there, I just thought it was weird.

In another case, a friend fixed me up with a guy who told me he doesn’t want to date any women who has EVER smoked in her life. Oh, and she had to be artsy. While I didn’t fit into that category, I was shocked at how rediculously picky this guy was.

This is horrible but it happened SOOO long ago that I’ve finally forgiven myself for it. I’m embarrassed to admit it but I once dumped someone I dated for 2 years for cutting her hair really short without consulting with me first. Well, she actually dumped me after I went missing for like 2 months after she cut her hair. WOW!! How is THAT for superficial? This is someone that I thought that I loved too but at that time, I was being chased by other women and I tried to leverage that against her. What an asshole I was. I sometimes believe that is the main reason I’m still single. Paying for that one mistake for the rest of my life. We Leos can be that way when we’re young.

Lance and The InBetweener – What was it about the short hair that you didn’t like: that it looked masculine or that you just didn’t like short hair, period? I think some short women’s styles can look very good and sexy. But some look, well, just like men’s hair.

My own most ridiculous reason for dumping a guy: he touched my breasts. Hey, that was when I was a prudish teen. 🙂

I don’t think I’ve ever ended an actual relationship for a ridiculous reason, but I did refuse a second date with a perfectly nice, handsome guy. When he came to pick me up for our first date, he had a booger in his nose. Yuck. I tried to ignore it and focus on the small talk, hoping maybe he’d catch his reflection in the mirror or something and take care of it discreetly, but he didn’t. I felt SO awkward – it was probably 5 or 10 minutes before I worked up the heart to suggest he might want to check, um, (insert awkward smile / point at general nasal region here)! It was a nice date, but when he asked me out again, I just couldn’t get the image out of my head. I didn’t tell him that was the reason for turning him down!

It seems excessive to end a relationship because of a change in hairstyle. On the other hand, it illustrates the fact that men prefer women with long hair (or virtually never prefer short over long on anyone).

Lance’s admission about the mom judgment is also something people need to hear. A lot of men make such judgments, as a way of predicting the future. Dislike of fat is another preference, based on fertility, apparently. It likely is the number one superficial reason men reject women and might be a hidden factor in many break-ups (for example, woman feels neglected or disrespected by man after her weight increases). Even, for a future poll, it would be good to ask people if they think any of their past relationships were undermined by primarily superficial reasons. It kind of calls for total anonymity, though.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to break up with someone if they come home looking drastically different than they did when they left (ie. with the short haircuts). They should’ve given you a heads up.

At the same time, if you really valued the relationship, or if the person was ‘the one’ as much as you may believe in that, while you may have been rightly pissed, it likely would not have ended everything.

I’m not sure this qualifies as dumb (at least on my part), but I dumped a guy after he suggested going to an indie porn film festival for my birthday, rather than the nice dinner out I’d requested. At least I found out (too late) what he would have wanted for *his* birthday.

Re: the short hair. That was only part of it, really, she was bi and had a bit of a fem-butch-ish look so I wasn’t attracted to her overall. This was when I was younger, so I didn’t take advantage of what could have been a cool experience. It’s too bad, because she was super cool and I miss her just a little bit.
@Chickadee: Dude, that would have been an awesome date!!! You can always go out to dinner…you’ll regret that one later on. Trust me.

I broke up with a guy because he insisted that his huge dog sleep in the bed with us and I could never get any sleep at his place. Oh, and he was much younger. And he smoked a lot of pot. And he “fought” for me with another guy (his best friend; met them at the same time) and won, but I never got a say in who I might want to go out with (I would have probably picked the other guy). Oh, and there was the small part about the alien abduction that he would talk about every once in awhile. Creeped me out.

He thought that maybe he’d had a psychotic break and the aliens weren’t real. I thought that mixing anti-depressants with pot was probably a bad idea, but never said anything.

He went off his meds and ended up checking himself into a psych word. But then, when he was back home, the aliens came back and played some music for him. His main concern was that they not hurt his dog, who was lying in the bed next to him at the time. They didn’t.

People should re-think the idea of dumping someone over a a new hair style. Even if that’s not the primary reason, even if neither person is serious about the relationship, it can sting. Hairstyle is very important to many people mainly because it makes the face look different. In other words, criticizing someone’s hairstyle can be like saying, You have an ugly face. Now imagine what being dumped over that can do to someone. Appearance isn’t just the exterior.

@ Helen #7
I don’t think it really had anything to do with the hairstyle itself. While I preferred her with longer hair, I would ordinarily NEVER stop dealing with someone because they cut their hair. It had more to do with her doing something that I considered drastic without consulting me first. We could have at least talked about it. Just the act itself told me a lot about the type of person she was. I know I was wrong for disappearing for 2 months after but I was livid and didn’t want anything to do with her after that. I had a typical Leo “my way or the highway” attitude at the time.
@mic # 10 and # 16
It IS excessive and it shows how superficial some humans can be. I agree about dumping someone over a hairstyle change ESPECIALLY if you’ve been in the relationship a while. Some would think that the personality of the person you’re involved with would supersede that of their looks after a while. She wasn’t a 10 and neither was I but I believe she was closer to it that I was.
@ Sayanta # 9
Before I was aware of how “some” Leos acted, I acted the same way to a certain degree. NOW go out of my way to NOT act like the “typical” Leo anymore. I feel I’ve become more “self-aware”.

My husband didn’t want me to cut my hair off, but it was a pain and I was spending a fortune on conditioner, plus the extra charge for extra dye every time I got it done, and it was just really hot. I wore it up all the time because it was easier. I did it anyway and he and I both love my shorter hair. If you want someone and love someone then you know it’s just hair, it grows back. Also, while I love my husband and want him to find me attractive what I do with my body is up to me. It’s still MY body, not his. I wouldn’t buy a puppy or a new car without asking him. Those are drastic decisions. My hair will grow back if I decide to let it.

One of the reasons that I prefer to have a boyfriend instead of a husband is that I’m not obligated to “consult” with a boyfriendabout anything…not what I buy, what I wear, where I live, and most definitely not how I style my hair.
I had a boyfriend who always wanted me to “consult” with him on decisions at the same time, however, he never consulted with me on any of his decisions. So, I felt “consulting” was really about controlling.

mic #10, said “A lot of men make such judgments, as a way of predicting the future.”

Perhaps, but a lot of men do this because they don’t want to commit to being in a LTR.

Besides, just because someone’s mom is a certain physical type doesn’t guarantee that the daugher will be that way in 20 years. Matter of fact, many kids try to lead healthier lives than their parents, including your’s truly.

@ Kenley # 18
No one is obligated to consult with anyone over ANY decisions one choose to make, whether it be hair, clothes, purchases, etc.
That said, if someone (you were in a relationship with) made a conscience “decision” to ask you your opinion or “consult you” about any of the aforementioned, would you feel that you were “controlling”?

Hey! Well, i have only had a couple relationships. And both dumped me, i was never the one to break up with them. My first relationship was the one that takes the cake. He dumped me on Christmas for another girl…how is that? MERRY CHRISTMAS HONEY! I’M DUMPING YOU! <3

I dumped a guy for being short and not well built, thing is I didn’t notice these things about him AT ALL when we first started dating. Then he would not stand up for me, and be terrified of conflict – then I started thinking of his physical stature as a physical manifestation of him being weak. He also cheated on me due to peer pressure. I felt it all went hand in hand. He was too scared of introducing me to his parents, they’re conservative Christians and I’m agnostic.
All came down to how scared he was.
Took 4 years to realise.

Well, here’s three really bad (at the time they seemed legitimate) reasons I broke up with someone;

1.) She admitted to me that when she was younger, she used one of those “sweater shavers” that remove fabric pills from clothes, like a pretend razor. She actually shaved the peach fuzz from her face. She told me her hair grew in at the corners of her lips now because of it. I couldn’t get past the idea of kissing a girl who may grow a mustache at some point.

2.) I was making out with a girl I had been dating for a few weeks. I was pretty young at the time, so all my experiences had been with girls between 16 to 22 (from the time I was 16 to 22). This girl was closer to 30 and had a child. When it came time to get a little more bold, I remember feeling up one of her boobs (over the shirt). I was shocked with how “mushy” they felt. In my mind they felt like a smooth lump of mashed potatoes. I guess I was used to breasts that had not yet been ravaged by a baby. Needless to say, I put the brakes on the evening and broke up with her the next day.

Now that I’m older, I realize how petty these issues were. But, that’s the dating world for you. Fickle and cruel…

Once, I got dumped for a stupid reason. When he first talked to his Mom about me, he told her my last name. She answered that I was his cousin. So obviously he freaked out. He asked me if I was related to Mary and Andrew. So I called my Dad and asked him. He told me he didn’t think so but if we were it was really far related. I repeated that to my boyfriend. Just to make sure we weren’t, he called his Grandma. When he hung up, he messaged me on Facebook and told me that his Grandma heard my Dad’s name before so ”in some way” we would be related. He felt uncomfortable so he dumped me. But the thing is…. HE’S ADOPTED! So I might be ”related” to his ADOPTIVE Dad. And if I am, it’s really far. So yeah… seems like a ridiculous reason to me!

I got dumped and stood up by a guy I was having sex with for over 5 years. He texted me he found Jesus and therefore we could no longer fornicate as he put it. But he loved me as a good friend. We planned to meet for lunch one day after that.. ( I should of known he wouldn’t show up after he kept switching days and times) anyway he didn’t think I deserved any apology because i was supposed to understand his situation with his son. Needless to day were not even friends anymore. .it’s been over six months since I last seen or spoken to him..ps I called him a coward.

I just got broken up with because I bought a home in a nice part of San Antonio. She apparently wanted to move out of state. But didn’t tell me. So i put down on the home. And then told her. Then she told me her plans that she has been planning for months. and so now because of buying a home, I am single again.

1. Dating 3 months. Out on a date walking along the river to a pub with my dog. My dog was on a lead and there was a stray dog at the pub. My dog bit it as it was annoying him (although he’s never done it before) didn’t draw blood and the other dog was fine. No contact for 2 days then told its over as he never wants to see my dog again and it should be put down! Haha

2. Rekindled recent romance. On Saturday night he was drinking and sent me a rather naughty text. Was out of character for him and I said I wasn’t cross. Got told he never wants to see me again as he’s embarrassed.

Together for 5 months. Then all of a sudden she texts me that she is ”loyal to her parents’. If that was the case then i dont know what the previous 5 months were. I also found out that she lied t me, cheated on me and never really loved me. Now thats a grade a hurt package.

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