8 Twin Flame Stages – Are You Experiencing This?

The love experienced between two reunited twin flames is like a wild beast.

It can’t be captured. It can’t be contained. It can’t be tamed. Instead, it burns fiercely with an unquenchable form of intensity that is both exhilarating and formidable. The love experienced between twin flames is like Holy Fire: it burns you to ashes, but it also forges you into a new creature, like a Phoenix emerging out of the dust.

Although every twin flame relationship is unique and can’t be simplified, there is a general pattern that tends to emerge in these unions. As a person who went through a twin flame fusion, I know how overwhelming (and even terrifying) such an experience can be. I would have loved to read an article on common tell-tale twin flame signs when I was going through such a disorientating experience. But back then I knew nothing of twin flames or their significance. So here I would like to provide you with what I lacked: a general map that can help to guide you and pinpoint where you are right now.

8 Major Twin Flame Stages

Twin flames are said to be beings that aid our souls in finding completion. Ancient Greek philosopher Plato first created the idea of souls “split in two” that eternally yearn to find their “other halves.” These days we still carry around this idea of “find our other half,” but unfortunately we believe that it is absolutely imperative for us to find another person to be complete. Please keep in mind that while twin flames do help us to experience unconditional love and grow immensely as people, not all of us find our twin flames, and not all of us need twin flames to feel complete. Please read “7 Common Myths Embellishing Twin Flame Relationships” to read more about this.

Also, it helps to remember that the degree to which you can experience harmony in your twin flame relationship is dependent on your level of soulful maturity. For example, two old souls will have a much easier time at “holding it all together” than two young souls. You can read more about soulful maturity here and soul ages here.

So keeping this in mind, what are the eight major twin flame stages that you’ll likely experience in your relationship?

Stage One – Yearning for “The One”

In this preliminary stage you have spent your entire life pining for “The One” that doesn’t yet exist in your life. You have this strange sensation that someone who is perfectly molded to you is “out there” but you don’t quite know where or when they will appear in your life. Although you ache for your twin flame, you have a feeling they will appear to you at some point.

This stage is also sometimes spent “preparing” for the arrival of the twin flame on an unconscious level. In my instance, I had to learn how to love myself before I met mine. For others, this stage of preparation involves the development of self-awareness, discovery, and understanding.

Stage Two – Glimpsing “The One”

At some point, you will have a brief glimpse of your twin flame. Whether this is through a dream signal, or through a real-life meeting, suddenly the Beloved can be sensed. The result is profound. Wonder, joy, anxiety and intoxication quickly ensue. For those cautious among us, a lingering sense of intense curiosity and desire to get to know the person better is the result. You don’t know what it is exactly, but this person is extremely special. Like me, you may even sense that this person will play an immensely important role in your life – even before you know them properly.

Stage Three – Falling in Love

When you fall for this person, you will fall very, very hard. You will fall harder than you have ever fallen for anyone – and the impact will knock the breath right out of you. In fact, as you get to know your twin flame better, you will fall more and more deeply in love with them. As a result, you’ll find it hard to stand with two feet on the ground. You might feel disorientated, lovesick and “unlike yourself.” You may even try to resist the attraction, but eventually you’ll accept the reality that you’re deeply and madly in love.

Stage Four – The Fairy-Tale Relationship

As both of you eventually make your feelings known and enter into a relationship, life will feel like a fairy-tale. Your relationship with them will be perfect in every possible way. It will seem as though your twin flame fulfills every single need you have and everything you ever possibly wanted. This taste of “paradise” is what the matured twin flame relationship looks like after the next few stages of turmoil.

Stage Five – Outer Turmoil and Inner Purging

In this stage there is trouble in paradise. As the ecstasy from the initial meeting period wares off, egos start to flare up. Suddenly differences in opinion, taste and personality arise, and old core wounds emerge out of the gloom. While our twin flames share and mirror our deepest needs, desires and dreams, they also tend to mirror our shadow selves. For example, if you are an emotionally repressed person, your twin flame will likely be emotionally explosive. If you tend to be arrogant, your twin flame will most likely be uncertain and quiet. In this way our twin flames challenge us, riling up our insecurities. This can be infuriating, devastating and very painful.

While all the arguing and fighting in this stage may seem disastrous, the truth is that it is necessary for our growth. Without being provoked, without seeing ourselves for who we “really” are, we live in illusion and fail to grow soulfully. But this is certainly hard to realize while you’re going through such turbulence in your relationship!

Stage Six – The Runner and Chaser

As tensions mount it is common for one partner (or sometimes both) to emotionally or physically withdraw and “run” away, and another to pursue in a game of cat and mouse. Sometimes this involves emotional shutdown and silent treatments. Other times this involves physical separation and in extreme cases, the permanent termination of the relationship. In this stage, twin flames experience a trial by fire. While some relationships last and are strengthened, others crumble to pieces. As I mentioned at the start, this is all dependent on each partner’s soulful maturity. Sometimes one partner leaves for many years and then returns, only to repeat the cycle once again. The chaser, on the other hand, tends to be the more mentally and emotionally mature partner of the two, trying to sort everything out and make amends.

Stage Seven – Surrender and Dissolution

Once the shadow of your relationship has been revealed, you may experience a period of surrender. After so much anguish, distress and provocation, you both begin to open up about your wounds and insecurities. In this stage it is common to experience a lot of ego dissolution and soulful expansion. As the ego relaxes, powerful lessons are learned about the nature of oneself and the nature of the “other.” As you begin learning how to work through your differences, the maturity of your relationship deepens and thus strengthens.

It is common to go through stages six and seven many times throughout your relationship.

Stage Eight – Oneness

As the problems in your relationship become increasingly easy to deal with, you will enter a period of soul reunion. In stage eight it is common for you to both find a shared meaning, passion or cause that brings you a mutual sense of fulfillment. As the ego continues to relax, virtues such as forgiveness, understanding, empathy and patience are learned. The more you both work through each issue that comes your way vigilantly, the more you experience the sensation of “Oneness,” or ego death.

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Have you found your twin flame? Which of these twin flame stages have you experienced in life and what insights can you share? I’d love to hear from you below.

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential psychospiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor, diviner, and author, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. [Read More]

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It appears that you are confused with the difference between “twin flames” and “twin souls”. For one very crucial aspect, twin flames DO NOT reconnect until it’s on its last lifetime and what you’ve described sounds more like the “twin soul” aspect.

I have met my twin flame. I’ve known this person in a former life and as soon as I saw her, I knew there was a familiarity about her. Although she began to get cold and distant in me, eventually ending the relationship via text msg. I see her every week as we are in the same workshop., we had a huge argument and she ended things a couple of days later. I think we are in the runner/chaser part of our relationship., what do you think?

I’m certain I’ve met mine and we married but at this point we seem to keep repeating stage 6 and 7. Currently we are at 6 because this time I told him I need him to step up to the plate and give the same 100 percent to it as I do. I need to be his priority not an afterthought… and made it clear that until he’s ready to go all in I cant keep being the one fighting for our relationship…. I’m not angry with him and if he’s better off slone for now than I wish him nothing but happiness and wellbeing… I just want him to be happy….

I’ve met my twin flame which lead me to your article. I thought he might be but after reading the stages listed, I can say so with lost certainty. I’ve been in 1 for a long time;my heaven the drive it is/was in my life and I didn’t even know why!. My twin flame and u have gone through every steps in this exact order and are currently approaching Stage 7 after some time spent away.
My experience this far has been exhilarating, deeper than my greatest love before. It’s taken me beyond my limits and boundaries but in a healthy way and I’ve grown so much through the turmoil of Stage, what? 4 and 5? From the article on “soul maturuty” to the Stages listed, everything I read here is so spot in to my own situation, I don’t see there’s any way I can deny that this is actually the experience I’m going through. Thank you for Sharing and you’re right, it’s so helpful to those of us who might not know what is going on and those of us who might, what to expect next.

I am now I believe in stage 8 of our relationship. We have went through 6 and 7 a few times over the years I was the runner . He was my first kiss and boyfriend at 14 I am now 51. We always seem to come back to one another as we went into different relationships that always seemed to fail for both of us. I’ve always had very strong feelings for him and that scared me cause we were always best of friends no matter what happen we stayed close. This past October we started dating again and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve only been married once over the years but had a few other relationships that didn’t last and last year I was talking with my best girlfriend she asked me if I thought I’d ever get married again I said there is only one man I’d even consider and we are together now. We both strive for the same things in life. I have finally quit running and can’t wait to see what the future holds for us as a couple.

We found each other. We’re in our 40’s and both survived almost insurmountable pain, before we found each other again. We just ‘know’ this to be true. It just is. Thank you for this article. We are incredibly blessed.

I have a friend who believes she’s met her TF, but he’s deceased and they’ve never physically met in this life. He’s also a local “celebrity” associated with a local legend. What I’ve always found confusing is how much she wants to die to be reunited with him. I understand that the separation is hard but isn’t the point of making sure that you’re living your life to your fullest before being reunited? I have talked with her about the person I believe is my TF and, at the beginning, this friend was super supportive and now she’s very evasive and has implied that it’s not true. I don’t know if she’s jealous or just a b**ch, but it really irks me. She is apparently my TF’s best friend and now it’s come out that my TF believes she’s found her TF in a deceased famous author (who died over a century ago). I just have a problem with people claiming that their soul mates or TFs are long-deceased famous people because, honestly, hundreds or thousands of people could feel the same “connection” and the living will never truly know the dynamics of the famous person when they’re alive. If I’ve confused everyone, please let me know. lol

Hello i think your friend case similar to me except the prat of her TF already a dead person.
I’M met my TF when she doing out of body experience (astral projection) the only thing that i can describe that our meeting truly ot of nowhere, believe it or not i can see something that majority people can’t, at first i thought she a “human” but my “normal’ friends can’t see her so i think she an astral creature but when i ask my “astral friend” they said she a human and my “indigo” friends said the same so i take a conclusion that she’s dof an astral projection.
So story goes by we now at the 6th stage when she started running and stop trying for us to meet in “real life” tbh i don’t know how for we to pass this stage.
For your friend i think that TF is someone who truly alive not someone who already died in the pass coz from my experience astral creature like ghost, etc. Especially who at the lower grade (perhaps like a normal villager in medieval age) loved to decived us and be an “imposter” like claiming she or he are our TF vice versa.

P.S : me and my TF until now haven’t meet in real live not even we know each other contact information like Instagram, WhatsApp, etc. Somehow we can’t give our contact like a confused when we tried like something blocking us to do so. And wo talk ta each other with telepathy or meet each other via astral projection sometimes i visit her or sometime she visit me btw we are from the same country
Im sorry for my English, coz English not my mother language perhaps this can help you explain to your friends

Thirteen months ago I was a sane, rational human being who would NEVER have visited a website like this. I would have thought that all this New Age, spiritualist stuff was bullcrap. And then on Dec. 15, 2017 a “deceased celebrity” walked into my mind and took up residence there like it was his own living room. He caused me to fall massively in love with him (something I had NEVER felt for him when he was actually alive). The intensity of our shared bond was so strong that I feared I might lose control over my own mind. I had to fight him for it, in fact. Eventually he dialed back his intensity a bit and we reached a truce. For all the love and excitement (and, let’s face it, the ego flattery of it), there was just something that felt BAD about sharing a mind and emotions with him, however.
It took me months of working with him, researching his life, and sharing his emotions before I was able to figure out what the problem was, and what the Universe wanted me to do to help fix it. He completely lacked empathy. In order to fix that, first I needed to help him come to terms with the massive amount of emotional damage he had caused to nearly everyone in his life. None of it was intentional. He just wanted to have a good time. He wanted EVERYONE to have a good time. He just didn’t realize that HIS idea of a good time wasn’t everyone’s idea of a good time, and as a result, he ended up hurting a lot of people without meaning to.
Next, I had to help him come to terms with the fact that much of the damage he caused was rooted in damage that had been done to him through traumas in his early childhood and adolescence (the worst of which, by the way, is something he confided to me and is unknown to his biographers). I told him repeatedly that what he needed to learn to do was to LOVE HIMSELF, to make up for the love that he didn’t get in childhood. (BTW, I couldn’t have worked with him like this until I had finished raising my own children. What he needed was motherly love–which he had never received in his life. But EVERY child deserves to be loved, no matter how anonymous or famous they are going to grow up to be. And it was my experience being a mother that helped me understand exactly what had gone wrong in his life.) And then I had to get him to open up and acknowledge the hidden pain that he carried inside him from all of the neglect and abuse he suffered in childhood.
After all, you can’t truly love anyone else if you don’t love yourself, first. And you can’t feel anyone else’s pain if you can’t feel your own pain. And unless you can feel others’ pain, you can’t feel empathy for them. And if you can’t feel empathy for them, then you’re not going to be able to avoid hurting them, even if you don’t mean to.
I feel that I have succeeded pretty well. I no longer feel the cold, hard pit of indifference in my lower gut that arrived with his consciousness. It has melted and evaporated.
And, throughout this whole ordeal, YES, I have absolutely discovered that our respective psyches mirrored each other EXACTLY. I’ve written hundreds of pages of notes to him about all this (he seemed to be able to “hear” me better when I was writing things down, as opposed to just thinking or saying them), and the very last thing I wrote, earlier today, reads: “You needed to learn to do more of what others wanted you to do–and less of what YOU wanted to do. I need to learn to do more of what *I* want to do–and less of what others want me to do. And we need to meet in the middle.”
So, if that doesn’t meet the criteria for a “twin flame” experience, then I don’t know what does.
I think you owe your friend an apology.

Thank you for this :) I think I’ve met my twin flame and we’re somewhere inbetween stages 5 & 6. Due to past hurts he doesn’t want to commit to being in a relationship with me but bar the label that’s what we have. It’s frustrating and scary because I’ve fallen in love with him and fear that he doesn’t feel the same way or will take a lot longer to get to the same place I’m at.

I am the chaser and the one making amends even though he embarrassed me and hurt me deeply in front of my cousins and family. My goal for 2019 is to surrender and be at peace. But I am struggling. I am trying to be mindful (and not think of the past) and letting go to the universe all the hurt (but I am still hurting). Please tell me how to surrender, (hopefully without insisting I need to forgive, can’t I just let to without forgiving). Also, I can’t continue to wait for ever, so I need to figure out how to open my heart to someone else.

We are in stage 7 at the moment. He opened up to me which is unusual and now he’s gone quiet. I will not push this time as I have just gotten out an abusive relationship and have learned many lessons. One being boundaries and you can’t push something. I don’t feel romantic towards my twin at the moment but like a friend, I just feel an extreme pull towards him that neither of us can escape regardless of how mich we try. It is what it is and if we make it to stage 8 then so be it. I love him and I just want him to be happy.

I hsve through Stage 6 with my twin flame. He is now in another relationship after onmy 2 months. I am heartbroken. He has things he needs to heal but he won’t face it. It was a long 6-1/2 years. He healed so many broken parts of me. I had hope we would reunite. I want to continue to hope. I know there is no other for me and its not just my broken heart talking.

Luna and Sol, I have experienced the very same thing –exactly as you have described it. My Beloved passed away last month, after ten years of mostly Stages 6 & 7 until the day he passed, at which time, the deep love we share came clear again…We met one another 17 years ago~from the moment we met, everything changed in my life. When I laid eyes on him, my soul said, “There he is!” the Universe re-arranged everything for us to be together, during our most blissful experiences, Death Valley in California bloomed for the first time in 100 years~ it was spectacular. It was devastating. I will never recover… ;)

Yes I believe I have found him… he the runner. I push him away, I’m marry with a son which made it easier to push him away but I fell in Love with him, which I still love my husband.. so I feel confused sometimes because I have never felt like this specially for two people. When my twin flame was just my coworker…. he became my best friend & want him to meet my husband but it didn’t work out he left work. Which I didn’t understand back than. It seems hard because my husband & I are very close & he can even feel my twin flame. My husband actually felt my twin flame before I even knew about it.

Hi Christina! The same thing happened to me I fell in love with my twin flame on social media and I connected with him like I have never felt about anyone in my life. I’m also married and love my husband and we have 4 kids together so I understand your confusion. My husband found out about us and my twin ended the relationship and will no longer talk to me. I still feel him and we communicate telepathically. I know this is what was meant to be so I don’t feel bad that it has happened but I’m grateful for he came into my life and I’m ok with our spiritual connection!

I have met my twin flame and I have never felt like this before. We have been back and forth between stages 5 and 6. Currently we are separated and this is the longest time since we have met that we have not talked. I have been having dreams of him with other women :( , I am an emotional mess right now. I feel him in my soul and I just wish I could forget him. I definitely was the chaser. I am trying to concentrate on myself right now and let go because this is so hard. Could you feel someone’s soul and not be a twin flame?

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About Us

Walk the path less traveled

Our names are Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol and we currently live in Perth, Western Australia.

Our mission is to help others embrace the path of the lone wolf and listen to the soul’s calling. Our goal is to provide a grounded and balanced perspective of spirituality that doesn’t bypass the raw, real, and messy aspects of spiritual growth or psychological development.

We are deeply drawn to exploring and exposing both the light and shadow side of human nature and spirituality. We strive towards integration, balance, wholeness, and embracing both the sacred and wild aspects of being human. Read more.