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"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

I don't think I am like that tho. I feel uncomfortable with too long hugs from friends or even family really. I don't think I really want to be held at all unless it's with someone I'm in a relationship with. It's just too intimate for me.

There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.

Yes, touch is definitely my love language along with words of affirmation and quality time. I don't feel close to people unless I've had a deep conversation with them and we've hugged. Haha. Sounds silly, doesn't it?

They make weighted blankets for people (usually autistics) with sensory issues. I think if I didn't have a partner, I'd probably get something like that.

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.” ~ John Rogers

Of course I relate, you will be hard pressed to, deep down, find another person who doesn't relate. They may deny that this is the case, that its foreign and infrequent, then understand that it is a form of being closed off, guarded from others. Can you then imagine what people go through to react this way...a lot, goes back to the way we are raised and conditioned to feel and think, perceive and judge. When a child misbehaves its for attention, when a child touches everything and is told to stop touching everything etc, these values are entirely subconsciously stored and then expressed in our lives as natural extremes of what is and isn't appropriate.

Its essential for each individual person to experience this. Without human contact/touch the heart closes to being receptive to this experience. It is short of feeling abandoned, isolated, anxious, lonely, lost, aimless, without a sense of belonging, acceptance, feeling beautiful, appreciated, loved, a sense of safety, being human. What makes us able to identify with others. Hugging is said to be good for the soul because on many levels you break through to people, gain their trust sooner, feel a stronger bond, communicate your needs, feel uplifted, re-energized and if you hug a person more often the response from them will be warmer, each time the bond gets stronger.

Its like asking why does having a massage work, makes you feel good, because its releasing, relaxing, stabilizing your body, unknotting the tension, stress and more. And its simply to do with people rubbing their hands and helping massage your muscles through your skin and possibly rubbing oil over you body.

Although an oversupply of affection, contact and hugs is possible certainly, however in a society that has forgotten or rather become more aversive to the art of human contact due to many factors, not withstanding harassment, legal issues, boundaries, technological isolation, work awkwardness. Ha its kind of astonishing, not once have I hugged anyone at work for the months I stayed there and that is unfortunate to see that I continue to remain impersonal as they do with me. And imagine with just a few hugs their reaction towards me and mine towards them might have changed considerably or at least slightly.

This is the same with my family, we are unaffectionate, which means none of us listen to each other, none of us respect each other, none of us appreciate each others positives only negatives. When my father tried to hug me a few times I became suspicious what his ulterior motive was. As much as I dislike him I almost let it go when he hugged me and knew on an instinctual level that he was doing it to get closer to me. I know the power of positive touch, I try to hug my mother and she refuses, hates it. Imagine where she learned that from, her parents, her husband.

It is completely natural to ask for contact/touch

Some researchers have described the need for touch as "skin hunger," suggesting the desire and need for touch is an actual craving, much like hunger for nutrients and water, exist in our physiology.

It is right up there with the need to eat and breathe, your skin is the largest organ of your body you know how can it not be anything different?

Truly so yet the technological age has created a gap where the social humanistic need to touch others in comfort, joy, sadness, laughter, pain, happiness, simplicity has become much more awkward and complicated. Notwithstanding the fears society has against hugging, contact and touching others. When she was younger, my friend told me that when she was over at her friends her friends father refused to go down and greet her friends just because he was afraid how it would look. Its the way it is, while the nurturing instinct in woman is easily to touch and express their feelings through being affectionate this is seen less appropriate for men to do as often.

The more we feel loved, appreciated, cherished, and valued, as a human being, the healthier, happier, and more fulfilling our relationships. Kind and appropriate touching sends a message to our very spirit and heart that we are valued, that we are safe, that we matter...

We need to distinguish between good touch (appropriate touch) and that which is invasive of our personal space or harmful to our emotional well-being.

Someone touched my shoulder last week and I was beaming the whole day. Before then I do not remember the last time anyone has even touched me. I feel like my capacity for love is crying out with need for anyone at all. If I talk to anyone about it I do feel like I am just whining. I am getting restless as a lonely friendless infp.