Silver tongued Sunday smoothtalk

Remember those loved-up pillow talk conversations you had in your delusional youth?

The pair of you cooched up together in a single bed in some bedsit or tiny overpriced flat somewhere, or in your parents’ house?

Well I would lay a cash wager on the fact that none of those starry-eyed conversations ever included any of the following:-

“I am not spraying my tits silver!”

“But it would be cool and you’d fit in with the other people. Or you could make a tinfoil boobtube”

“My tits aren’t perky enough anyway”

“But I could maintain the perkiness”

“But then you’d have silver paint on your chin – that’d be weird”

“I’ll only do it if you spray your cock silver”

“But I might get arrested”

“As opposed to me having tinfoil on my tits…”

“Yeah but you’d have your coat on”

~~~~~

“I’ve looked into it and colonic hydrotherapy is £60 a sesh and they recommend 3 sessions. So I’ve decided to just get you a bottle of whisky and I’ll borrow Gary’s Karcher washer and do the job myself… possibly with Dawn… how hard can it be?”