THIS week the United Kingdom has left us in no doubt that it’s making its final descent into a crazed, delusional la-la-land. Last weekend there was a leak in a German newspaper of details of Theresa May’s disastrous meeting with Jean-Claude Juncker, during which the President of the European Commission discovered that Theresa May could tell him that the dining table in Downing Street was strong and stable, but her understanding of the Brexit negotiations began and ended with a tautological soundbite. When someone constantly repeats that they’re strong and stable, it’s a fairly good indication that they’re neither.

It was a leak which any sensible and logically thinking person would see as deeply damaging to our secretive and authoritarian Prime Minister. But then Theresa isn’t looking to gain votes from people who are sensible and logical thinkers. She’s seeking votes from the red-white-and-blue-in-the-face British nationalists and so she’s made great play of the bloody difficult woman tag. In order to secure the votes of the frothing Ukip tendency, Theresa May used the leak as an excuse to launch a verbal war against the European Union, pretty much guaranteeing that when negotiations begin in earnest the rest of the EU will not be disposed to do Britain any favours.

In order to secure a few votes from Ukip, our wrong and unable PM just made it more likely that the UK will crash out of the EU without any deal being struck, potentially causing the loss of tens of thousands of jobs and gravely damaging the living standards of millions. It’s a classic example of putting short-term party-political interest before the national interest, and the clearest illustration possible of why Theresa May isn’t fit for the office she occupies.

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It’s terribly unfair, said Theresa, that the EU has hardened its negotiating stance by repeating the exact same things that they’ve been saying for months. They’re trying to manipulate the result of the General Election, she claimed, because Theresa thinks Brussels has a deep interest in whether she is reelected by a majority of 50 or a majority of 15. Or at least that’s what she wants us to think. Does anyone honestly believe that Theresa May will have a stronger hand in negotiations with the EU because there’s a Tory MP in Stafford North? No-one in Brussels will notice or care. It makes not the slightest bit of difference to the reality that the EU will ensure the UK is worse off as a result of leaving the Union than it was as a member. That’s not vindictiveness, it’s a simple political imperative.

While all this is going on, the only story the TV news could be bothered with on Thursday was the revelation that Prince Philip is retiring from his job. It’s nice to see that Atos have finally declared someone unfit for work. He’s 95, which is the age we’ll all be retiring at after the Tories have destroyed the state pension. Despite the Prince’s advanced age, the news came as a great shock to hundreds of thousands of people all across the country, none of whom had realised he had ever had a job to retire from. The last time he did anything useful was during World War Two.

However, the Prince – with his racist remarks, tasteless insults, and unerring ability to alienate people – has provided Theresa May with an example to follow in her Brexit negotiations. The real reason he’s standing down now is because Theresa has taken on full responsibility for insulting foreigners and she reckons that between her and Boris Johnson they’ve pretty much got it covered.

Who knew that travelling the world and making racist remarks could have been such a laudable career? It’s a shame he’s retiring just at the very time that being a tactless xenophobe has come back into fashion. But he’s having a well-deserved rest now, because all those decades of class prejudice, racism and sexism must have been exhausting. The royals are going to celebrate his retirement with a quiet party to which only close family members will be invited. So Harry won’t be going then. But at least Phil won’t need to worry about the triple lock on his pension. Still, whatever you think about him, he does represent an example of what an asylum seeker dependent on state handouts can achieve.

The other big news this week wasn’t as earth-shattering as the news that a benefits claimant in his mid 90s was stepping down from his non-job. Or at least it wasn’t as earth-shattering to the TV news. After decades- another narrow-minded geriatric who hasn’t done anything useful since World War Two was retired at long last. The Labour party finally lost control of Glasgow Council, its last great bastion of power in Scotland.

Now we’ve got the Labour party out of the way, it’s a straight choice between the parties of independence or a Tory Brexit Britain, and that’s a choice that’s not bloody difficult.

Ipsoregulated

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