This year IndyCar is bringing back the "Triple Crown" with the Indianapolis 500, Pocono 400, and the MAVTV 500 at Fontana. If you can pull out wins at all three races you'll get a $1 million. Win two-out-of-three and you'll get $250,000. What prestigious organization would fork over money for such a prestigious racing event? Fuzzy's Ultra Premium Vodka, of course.

I've never tasted of Fuzzy's Ultra Premium Vodka, but because it says Ultra Premium in the name I'm certain it's fantastic. Not just premium but Ultra Premium. The guy who likes to brag about getting his dick sucked in a Lexus drinks Smirnoff. The guy who likes to brag about getting his dick sucked in a stretch Navigator probably drinks an Ultra Premium beverage.

Also, it's apparently named for the golfer Fuzzy Zoeller, who only says terribly racist things on rare occasion.

And "Fuzzy's Ultra Premium Vodka IndyCar Triple Crown" is the name of an event in Infiniti Jest right? Something that happens in the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment if I'm not mistaken.