Thank You, Jessica (aka: the post where I cry)

I’ve been asked many, many times how I came to start this blog, and while I’ve told my story to a couple of folks in interviews or late night ramblings, I’ve mostly only hinted at it here and on Twitter. Now the person who came abruptly into my life and turned it upside down is moving to the opposite side of the country, so I think it’s time to not only tell the story, but thank her properly and publicly.

To explain where I was in my life when I met Jessica Smith, I’m going to recap five years in just a sentence or two:

I loved children, wanted to be a parent, made a misguided decision to become a teacher when really I just had an over-developed maternal instinct that needed to be satiated.

I had children, stayed home, was more fulfilled than ever in my life, and knew that I’d do anything to find a way to stay home and still provide income to meet my family’s needs.

I had a creative energy that needed an outlet other than my children/MOMS Club/community anything and yearned to find like-minded moms!

I wanted to write. And I wanted to write something that someone would read. Willingly.

Then one Sunday I was sitting in church, minding my own soul, when the pastor showed a video about becoming who you were meant to be. Now the music was moving, the images stirring, so through no fault of my own I teared up. But then the tears began to stream quietly down my face. I realized that it was time to make a move and figure out what more I was meant to be and I prayed right there, “Dear God, either show me the way to fulfillment or take this desire from me.” I wanted peace. I didn’t know where it would come from, but I wanted it. Now.

And then I offered Jessica Smith a muffin. Now I know I am going to alienate some people with this post. “You go to church? You like Jessica Smith? You eat white flour?” Yes. Yes. Yes.

Just a couple of weeks after sitting in church that Sunday, I was in the social hall of the very same church with my local MOMS Club. It was my first meeting as Administrative Vice President and also my first meeting with our newly merged club. Trying to be social and nosy at the same time, I mingled in with the ladies from the “other club” and offered them some muffins. One of those moms happened to be Jessica Smith from Jessica Knows. Somehow while talking about our sons, who we discovered would be starting pre-school together in the fall, Jessica mentioned that she had a website. I listened half-heartedly and nodded. Then a week or so later I checked it out. Then I started to check out the other folks she wrote about. That led me to Kelby Carr. When you first check out Kelby’s personal site and read what she writes, the word “mom” does not come to mind. Instead, the words “powerful,” “smart,” and “frank” come to mind. I liked this world. I wanted in.

All it took was one e-mail to Jessica with a cry for help for her to call me for the most fast-paced 20 minute conversation I’ve ever had. I can still remember the feeling of sitting at my dining room table, frantically taking notes on the kitchen message pad. I knew that I was recording foreign words that would need to be translated later – “Blogger” “Typepad” “WordPress” “Twitter” – but that conversation changed my life.

Just a couple of weeks later I owned URL’s (!!), had a Twitter account, and a hastily created new identity, which I oddly now answer to. “Resourceful Mommy?” “Yes.” The rest is history…

Thanks to that moment with God and that meeting with Jess, I’ve had one of the most exciting years of my life, and I can clearly see the potential to stay at home indefinitely and find fulfillment in all aspects of my life.

Now Jess is moving to California to return to the marketing world full time. We don’t meet for coffee once a week or hang out over the grill every weekend – I’m not that social, and she’s way too busy – but knowing that she’s just down the road has been such a comfort to me. I’ll miss that. I’ll miss her. I know that she’ll probably save some other mom like myself from the despair that is gripping her life. In her new capacity she’ll have the opportunity to reach so many more…

So Jessica, thank you. And I’ll miss you. Best of luck, and God bless…