A Card Study of Sorts

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I didn’t notice before that this deck does not number the Major Arcana. That doesn’t bother me since historically there is no documentation of the original order of these cards. I think that’s why I was never fussed about using numbers to relate cards together.

This Tower is really engulfed in flames, but the doves have fortunately escaped the fire. In reality, the extreme heat would burn them up this close but then we wouldn’t have the idea of overcoming or escaping disaster. I like it, like this card!

Well, I am thinking that this might refer to the danger of losing my temper or otherwise having words with the spouse. Either that or I’m going to die.

Feel like being squeezed to death today? Did the spouse remember to remove the one-inch wasp nest from the garage in the Spring? I doubt it, which means it will be huge by now. The mind, the mind, on it goes on its treacherous early morning meander. I feel apprehensive. Sigh.

Oh boy. They delivered our shingles and waterproofing on Friday, so the new roof is finally going on in two days. I’ve got home repairs on the brain at 5 a.m. again and the anxiety woke me up.

The Serpent here is about Kundalini energy, the big revelation, the dramatic upheaval. No wonder I feel apprehensive. Perhaps it will just be an exciting day? Full of insect nests and home invasions by earwigs and wasps….STOP. STOP.

I have a few creative ideas I’m juggling, and this 2 of Pents card reminds me to play and not get too caught up in perfection, but to have fun and enjoy juggling ideas.

The 2 of Wands seems to be holding the Earth, is he in control of everything? Surely not, surely one person would not be expected to look after everything and every detail? There’s a feeling of uneasiness with this one, contrary to how I usually think of this card. The BIG idea, the grandiose plans, underneath that is a balance between the time to act and the time to be still. You can’t do it all, nor can you do it all at the same time, nor can you control every matter.

I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I have a lot of anxiety about it, and yet I think I did the right thing stopping my medication as I am feeling much better. These cards…from one end to the other…it’s like the difference between having fun in life and the destruction of obsessive thoughts, invented scenarios, the false assumptions we build up in our minds.

The doctor can do blood tests every three months or so and monitor my blood pressure, if nothing else. One of the words associated in this deck with The Tower is “narrow-mindedness” and it’s a nudge for me to open up in this regard. I like the blood tests because they let me see what’s going on, it’s the endless waiting at the doctor’s office and the having to talk when she won’t listen to me that gets me anxious. So what, it’s a moment in time, a whisper. It becomes worse because of my thoughts about it.

I have been trying to do mindfulness meditation when I get overly anxious, it really helps to bring things back to the breath, the body, my own Self and blood and heart, instead of fantasies of doom.

Also the thought from left to right that in order to have fun and carry out ideas I need to give myself the chance to physically become well to avoid destruction. It’s juggling my knowledge of my body and conventional medicine. I can still act to alleviate a destructive outcome.

These two popped out together today. The Tower in this deck, the Law of Attraction Tarot, is rather unusual. The Tower seems to be a human figure made of rock looking at a tree that is being hit by lightning.

XVI – THE TOWER
7 OF SWORDS

The Tower always gives me the whim-whams, making me cringe to think of big changes or trouble. I rather think this card shows our human inflexibility and rigidity, whereas nature and natural forms allow some bending in a storm.

I am reading a library book called The Antidote by Oliver Burkeman, and he suggests that we might be better off embracing classical Stoicism and the Buddhist view of non-attachment in life. Humans apparently fear uncertainty more than anything else, hence our current society’s emphasis on goals and optimism and positive thinking, anything to cover up this inherent uncertainty and our fear. And yet, uncertainty and change are a regular part of being human, it’s the way life is. While a goal is fine, we must also realize that improvisation and flexibility need to be factored in, or we can cause ourselves harm by not adapting and accepting circumstances, by grabbing onto a rigid goal, without using our imagination to change it as needed.

He cites some interesting examples and talks about our current business models and the harm they have caused us economically, and also the harm they do to human health and relationships. A really fresh book given our current propensity for motivational living and the endless pushing and rushing of the grand meritocracy of Western society. All the feel-good seminars in the world will not save you from the reality of being human and the nearly constant uncertainty. I found the book a revelation.

The 7 of Swords allows us a light at the end of the tunnel and hope. A better direction will occur to you if you choose to ride the lightning bolts of uncertainty with patience and awareness.

I’m finding it a bit hard to get motivated in the heat, which slams into me first thing, after a night of pain and sleeplessness.

I’m very lucky to have a basement that is much cooler to bring relief. After two hours over a steamy stove last night cooking dinner, I asked the spouse if he could bring home a sandwich for supper tonight so I wouldn’t have to put the oven or stove on.

I’m waiting for laundry to finish so thought I’d draw a card.

XVI SERPENT – The Quickener (The Tower)

Maybe we’ll get some thunderstorms today to cool things down?

When I think of quickening, I think of either love or fear that sets the heart beating faster and the pulse quickening.

This is Kundalini energy, the life-force energy at the base of the spine, the electric current of change and sudden insight. Awareness grows and then the quick strike and all is revealed; crisis and revelation.

I found a small tin that used to contain a tea blend called Flora, that I am going to put the Blue Dog Rose Tarot in. I find it easier to get the cards in and out of the tin rather than the tuckbox the deck came with. The tin also has a little window so I can view the card through that.

16 –TOWER

Situation breaking down. Epiphany.

What I think of with this is that when I go to the Naturopath this Saturday, I will have to fill out my history, and then the appointment usually takes about 90 minutes or so. It also means that I have to dredge up emotional stuff that I don’t want to. I suppose it’s one of those situations where if I don’t go through some turmoil I can’t get the help, so certain things must be faced.

In my mind I am already rehearsing things I want to say, which is making me bitter and resentful without anything currently happening! There is nowhere to hide in the goldfish bowl.

I will have to keep in mind that after the Tower falls, better things can happen.

I wasn’t quite sure about this. The reading isn’t for me but it’s hard to detach me from the reading. I am using the Present Spread for the Playing Card Oracles. The reading is for Isabel and the question was “Why is she listless?” I’m not sure about that being the best question but it’s an overview I suppose.

Lots of Diamond Fire and wind blowing around here. No Air, no Water, a feeling of being parched and suffocating.

1) This week Isabel is feeling isolation and limited movement, perhaps boredom as her security becomes a prison. This is true as she isn’t getting outside much and is sleeping a lot, just not up to much or being as alert as usual.

2) The North Wind in the 2nd week brings unsettling energy. Not so much listless now but anxious maybe, mentally unsettled and blown about.

3) More disturbing wind but it could be refreshing, somewhat mischievous or playful and humorous as it’s the South Wind this time. It’s unplanned which is why I thought it might be refreshing. When you are bored and listless, something unplanned can be stimulating in a positive way. The South Wind strikes me as impish, rather than malicious.

4) For the 4th week Isabel might be feeling maternal or supportive of someone, receptive perhaps to a new friend?

And for the Geomantic figures I got for this:

The 1st Witness supports the feeling that she is boxed in. Populus is about community and she is picking up feelings from her community. My husband and I are her community since Isabel is our dog. Surprise! She is reflecting us, and we are a bit sad and listless ourselves.

With the 2nd Witness we move into Mars territory which can be about anger or conflict. Bad temper or bad blood, maybe physically not feeling well, or crankiness. You need to move and play to get the blood and lymph moving through the body and our little community is not doing much of that. This could be a real warning sign for our collective health or a caution against accidents and overdoing it.

The outcome is also Rubeus. I was thinking this might be a competitive aspect of Rubeus. I got the feeling that could be used positively, such as the energy and competition a dog friend might bring to Isabel. That might be reflective of the Livia card in the 4th week. The primal energy of a younger dog might perk her up, as would mothering a younger dog in some way. I also think there would be some adjustments here that could be negative, perhaps an awareness of conflict. It could just be conflicting feelings about a new dog. Animals are like people, you need to get to know them and they need time to fit in. That can get pretty stroppy as you find the right routine.

I’m not quite sure about the double Rubeus here. I don’t feel it really bad but it’s kind of an angry zone of temperament. As you can see I drew some lines on the geomantic figures, which is something Ana suggests in the book.