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Expiation for haraam sexual activity
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As Salaam Alaikum
I have a serious problem. I have been muslim for a couple of years. I have a major problem controling my sexually urges. Before I was muslim I had no sex whatsoever and was a virgin. But recently I have been doing some haraam things. On 3 occasions I have payed for oral sex from prostitutes. This is all I have done. My ***** has never been in a women's vagina. Is this zinnah? Am i still a virgin? Am I still muslim? What can I do to stop? Please help me!
jazaakum Allahu khirun

Praise be to Allaah.

There is no doubt that what you have done is a kind of zinaa (unlawful sexual activity), although it is not the worst kind, so you must repent sincerely to Allaah, give up this sin, regret what has happened and be determined never to go back to it. Avoid bad friends and bad places, lower your gaze and keep your distance from women to whom you are not related (non-mahram). If you repent to Allaah, He will accept your repentance. You are still a Muslim, but you have committed an act of disobedience towards Allaah by doing this sinful act, so come back to your Lord and seek His forgiveness for what you have done. Do more good deeds to expiate for and cancel out your bad deeds, do those things that will help you to remain chaste, and hasten to marry according to Islam. Finally, we will leave you with a story from which you may learn a valuable lesson:

Ibn Mas’ood reported that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him that he had kissed or touched a woman, or something similar, as if he was asking how he could expiate for this (according to another report: a man had done something with a woman that fell short of actual intercourse. He came to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, who regarded it as something very serious; then he came to Abu Bakr, who regarded it as something very serious. Then he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)). Then Allaah revealed the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice).” [Hood 11:114]. The man asked, “Is this concerning me, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said: “It is concerning whoever of my ummah does this.” (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, 4963).

According to a report narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah, a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I fondled a woman in the furthest outskirts of Madeenah but I did not actually have intercourse with her. Here I am, judge me as you wish.” ‘Umar said to him: “Allaah had covered you, you should have covered yourself (i.e., you should not have spoken of it).” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not reply at all, so the man got up and left. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent a man to follow him, call him and recite to him the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice).” [Hood 11:114]. A man who was present said: “O Prophet of Allaah, is this just for him?” He said, “No, it is for all the people.” (Reported by Muslim, 4964).

There is no clear prohibition about oral sex in the Qur'an or the sunnah of the Prophet (SAAWS). However, according to many jurists, the fluids that the male of female organs emit during the time of sexual excitement, such as many (sperm) or madhi; etc., are all considered negis and they should not touch the mouth of the man or the woman. It is for this reason that many scholars do not recommend this practice and consider it makrooh.

I would like to ask a question which people have either shied away or have been afraid to discuss. I tried to look in some Islamic books but there is no clear guidance that I could find.

There are many married couples who are not sure about this but have not had the courage to ask including myself up until now. I would like to know what the Islamic shariah ruling is on the subject of sex between husband and wife. Is it permissible for the husband and wife to take or touch each others private parts in each others mouth?

I do hope that you will help with this.

<ANSWER>

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Firstly, it should be understood that Islam is a religion of modesty and shame. It encourages its followers to be modest and not have the instincts of animals. Modesty is one of the things which distinguish a human being from an animal.

However, this should not prevent one from learning about matters relating to sexual behaviour. Then Sahaba (Allah be pleased with them) were never shy and ashamed in learning the truth. There are many incidents where the companions came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) and inquired about matters relating to sex. Even the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace), despite being very modest and bashful by nature, did not feel ashamed to discuss matters regarding the do’s and don’ts of sexual relations.

To proceed with the answer to your question:

The issue of oral sex is frequently asked. Many people shy away from it, whilst others regard discussing it offensive. However, those people who live in the “real” world will know the importance of mentioning this topic. Therefore, it is important to mention the Islamic perspective on oral sex in detail.

There are certain acts which have been clearly prohibited in Shariah, that are:

1) Anal sex

Anal sex is strictly prohibited in Islam. There are many narrations of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) which emphasize this.

In a Hadith recorded by Imam an-Nasa’i and others, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:

“Allah will not look (with mercy) at the one that has anal sex with his wife” (meaning on the day of Qiyamah). (Sunan Nasa’i)

2) Sex during menstruation (Haidh)

The Qur’an has clearly and explicitly prohibited sexual intercourse during menstruation. Allah Most High says:

“They ask you (O Prophet) regarding menstruation. Say: It his hurtful and impure. So abstain from women (sexually) in menstruation.” (Sura al-Baqarah, V.222)

The above two things are clearly prohibited by the Qur’an and Sunnah. When books of Fiqh talk about what is lawful and what is not, they typically mention that a husband and wife may give pleasure to one another in any way they wish other than the above mentioned things.

Although not specific to sex, we can add the following:

1) Swallowing filth (sexual fluids of the wife or husband)

2) Needlessly getting filthy

These things are obvious as sexual fluids and filth is impure.

There are also certain acts which are disliked, but permissible, for example: Total nudity, excessive sexual intercourse, etc…

Oral sex

As far as oral sex is concerned, there are two aspects to the issue. One being the moral aspect and the other the actual ruling regarding it in Islamic Law (meaning, to state whether it is Haram, Makruh or permissible).

With regards to the first aspect, there is no doubt that the act of oral sex (in its full meaning) is a totally shameful act. The mouth which is used to recite the Dhikr of Allah, send Salutations on the blessed Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), recite the holy Qur’an and other things, can not be used for filthy and dirty things such as oral sex, especially if it includes the filth entering the mouth.

This is more or less what the scholars of the Indo/Pak mention in there Fatawa books and (according to this humble servant), this is the aspect (moral) they are referring to.

As far as the second aspect is concerned, which is the Shariah ruling on oral sex; this actually depends on what you really mean by oral sex. The term “oral sex” covers a wide range of activities, from just kissing the private parts to the actual swallowing of filth.

If “oral sex” means to insert the ***** in the wife’s mouth to the extent that she takes in the filth, whether this filth is semen (Mani) or pre-ejaculatory fluid (Madhi), or the man takes the filth of the woman in his mouth, then this is not permissible. Taking the filth with all its forms in the mouth is unlawful. The fluids which come out are impure, thus make it impermissible to take it orally.

However, if the same act is practiced by using a condom (to prevent the sexual fluids entering the mouth) or the wife merely kisses her husband’s ***** and the husband kisses her genitals and they avoid any areas where there is pre-ejaculatory fluid, then this should be (according to this humble servant and Allah knows best) permissible, although disliked.

It is mentioned in the famous Hanafi Fiqh reference book, and one regarded as a fundamental source in the school, al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:

“If a man inserts his ***** in his wife’s mouth, it is said that it is disliked (makruh), and others said that it is not disliked.” (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/372)

This clear text from one of the major Hanafi books indicates that the scholars differed on the issue of inserting the ***** into the wife’s mouth. According to some it was disliked whilst others totally permitted it. But it should be remembered that this is in the case when no sexual fluids enter the spouse’s mouth as mentioned in detail earlier. Due to the act being considered against the proper conduct of a Muslim, most scholars have held this practice to be disliked (even in the situation where one does not orally take the filth).

This is what I have on this particular subject. I thought that there was a genuine need to shed some light on it from an Islamic perspective. I hope I have been able to clear the queries people have had on this topic.

It is stated in al-Nawazil: If a man inserts his ***** in his wifes mouth, it has been said that it is disliked.

The condition for it not to be disliked, according to those who allowed it, would be that there be no sexual fluids entering the spouses mouth.

Normally, this is not the case. Because of this and because of it generally being considered against the proper conduct of a Muslim, most scholars have held this practice to be disliked.

Fatwa Date : Rabee' Al-Awwal 2, 1426 / 11-4-2005

1.Can a husband kiss the vagina of his wife? Can the wife swallow the semen of her husband?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Swallowing the sperm is forbidden even according to the scholars who do not consider it impure. Imaam An-Nawawi said in Al-Majmoo': 'There are two opinions about swallowing sperm. However, the most correct opinion is that it is forbidden because it is filthy. Allaah says (which means): {And forbids them what is khabaa'ith (evil things, evil deeds, evil beliefs, evil persons and filthy food).}[Qur'an 7:157].' The questioner should know that a person with a sound natural disposition and a sound taste would not be pleased with such a matter.
Allah knows best.

2. Oral Sex with plastic covering on one's private parts:

Answer.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
It is permissible for the husband and wife to enjoy each others body, as Allaah says (which means): {They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her - as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari], for you and you are the same for them.}[Qur'an 2:187]. Allaah further says (which means): {Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how you will.}[Qur'an 2:223]. However, taking pleasure from each other should be according to the noble, good and general Islamic decencies. There is no text on the prohibition of what the questioner has mentioned, however, it contradicts good moral standards and noble manners, and is far from the natural dispositions that Allaah has created us with. Doing that is touching impurity. Allaah says (which means): {Indeed, Allaah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.}[Qur'an 2:222]. This means those who keep themselves above the dirty and the filthy things. Putting a plastic cover on the vagina and then licking it or kissing it, is not sure to avoid some kind of impurity.
Nonetheless, we do not say that it is forbidden as long as there is no impurity that touches the mouth.

Allaah knows best.

3. Oral Sex with condom :

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad , is His slave and Messenger.

We cannot authoritatively say that this act is forbidden or that the person who does so is sinful, especially with the use of a condom which prevents the impurity from touching the mouth. However, if a Muslim can totally avoid this, then this is better.
Nonetheless, a husband should fulfil the right of his wife in regard to sexual intercourse, and so he should try to keep her chaste as much as possible. He should not do anything that prevents her from full enjoyment.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88110 and 86403.
Allaah Knows best.

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