Sake Spitter Victim - please save me!

Jul 19, 2007

Dr Bob - thanks for answering my previous question about my possible exposure to HIV from a girl (high risk) putting sake in her mouth and then directly from her mouth putting it in mine. Although I am not sure if there was blood in her mouth at the time, you basically told me my risk is non-existent. Your words made me feel better, but now I am still having strange symptoms 3 months later including sore armpits, small red spots appearing on skin (petechiae?) and some sores in mouth and stiff neck. But even worse, my wife has also showed some symptoms starting 4 days after we had sex. The most noticeable is about 15-20 red spots scattered on her back (look like petechiae). I have an appointment to go see the doctor next week, but I cannot see what else could be causing all of these symptoms first in me which could be chalked up to anxiety and now my wife which cannot be from anxiety.

I am so scared and am not sure how I can make it until me appointment without breaking down especially when I see my family (two small children) and the horrible impact this could have on them.

Do you still stick by your assessment that there is no way I got HIV from the sake spitter?

My wife is the only sexual partner I have ever had and I can not deal with the fact that this incident could ruin our lives.

I have posted a couple of questions and have not got a response. I know you are very busy, but this is eating me up inside and could have a dramatic effect on my family (two beautiful little girls).

I was at a bar and a girl (assuming high risk) took me off guard a couple of times and took a drink of sake and from her mouth spit it directly into my mouth. I did not know the girl, but some buddies and had allot to drink and I just kind of blew it off as a drunken act from the girl. Well, now I am having all kinds of symptoms. They started 3 days after the encounter. First white spots on my lip (they are painless but have remained for 2.5 months), diarrhea for a few days, possible fever, but not sure if I was sweating from just being anxious about the spots. Day 4 I also had a rash appear on the scrotum that burned and stayed for about 8 weeks. I tried fungal meds but they did not clear it up. Finally the doctor gave be steroid cream and it seemed to help. Now 12 weeks after encounter I have pain in my armpits and have been having tingling and numbing quite often in my hands and feet.

I thought I had myself convinced to move on and that there was no risk, but after having sex with my wife she began to developed some strange symptoms as well. Same white spots and got sick one night after eating.

I am terrified of what might be happening and how it could ruin my family and the lives of my girls. Please help me!

I have searched the archives and have found a similar situation, but want to get some more of your input on why you would not consider this a risk. It seems possible that she could have had some blood in her mouth that would have been mixed in the contents when she spit it into my mouth.

Her is the previous post and answer: Dear Dr. Bob- First of all I would like to say thanks for all the great work you do for us. I hope you can answer my question because I am having lots of anxiety over something stupid I have done. I am a lesbian in a monogamous relationship with my partner of 5 years. On a recent business trip I ended up in a pretty seedy bar with some colleagues. While I was there I was approached by a bartender who was very pushy about offering me a shot. I didnt want to look like a prude so I stupidly let her drink a shot and feed it to me while she kissed me. I swallowed the entire shot from her mouth. I do not know this woman or her hiv status but it seems like she is quite promiscuous. Now I am worried sick that I put myself and my partner at risk. I have read through the forum and know that kissing does not transmit the virus, however I am wondering if the fact that I drank directly from her mouth and it was a big mouthful of fluid that could have possible contained a lot of saliva and blood if her gums were bleeding. Please let me know if you think I should get tested for HIV or any other diseases? thank you so much... Sincerely, a fan of dr. bob

Asnwer:OK, so sexy bartending Barbarella gives you a free shot without dirtying up a shot glass. That doesn't sound stupid or risky to me. It sounds hot! I see absolutely no reason for concern. This activity would not be considered a risk for HIV transmission, and I do not feel HIV testing is warranted or necessary. Gosh, the free creme brulée the chef at the restaurant sent to me earlier this evening suddenly seems very anticlimactic. Thank you for your donation! Stay well, girlfriend!

Do you still believe there is no risk and testing is not warranted. What could be causing all of these syptoms first with me and now my wife?

Thanks so much for everything you do.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Gosh, doesn't anyone use glasses for drinks these days? First Bartender Barbarella and now the Sake Spitter . . . .

Relax, Max. I haven't altered my opinion on the HIV-transmission risk of secondhand shots administered mouth-to-mouth. If HIV were that easy to transmit, it would have wiped out the planet long ago. The theoretical chances of Sake Spitter being HIV positive and having open, bleeding wounds in her mouth, such that her shot of sake had enough contaminated blood in it to find its way into a open wound in your mouth or be of adequate concentration to be absorbed across your oral mucous membranes, would be so remote as to be essentially nonexistent. If you don't believe me, get a single rapid HIV test at the three-month mark. It will undoubtedly be negative.

What could be causing your symptoms? Guilt and anxiety are the most likely culprits. I suggest you level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.

This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither TheBody.com nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

The Body is a service of Remedy Health Media, LLC, 750 3rd Avenue, 6th Floor, New York, NY 10017. The Body and its logos are trademarks of Remedy Health Media, LLC, and its subsidiaries, which owns the copyright of The Body's homepage, topic pages, page designs and HTML code. General Disclaimer: The Body is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice or professional services. The information provided through The Body should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, consult your health care provider.