Posts Tagged ‘Mark Kirk Senate

"Honestly, the only reason I keep watching Jarhead, and it's not like anyone's "catching" me doing anything, no matter what my ex-wife says, is because I enjoy watching gung-ho, He-Man, totally heterosexual depictions of the awesomeness of our MILITARY, and not the awesomeness of Jake Gyllenhaal himself, trussed up like one of those little studs down at the Lucky Horseshoe, wearing his soft, shiny, satiny Santa hat and that dreamy, angelic, soft, soft, soft smile. What was I saying again? Oh, yah, vote Mark Kirk for Senate, because I'm a war hero and totally not gay!"

Because of the way the Democrats treated our friend Roland Burris, we want to see Republicans take the Senate seat he is vacating in 2010. This is the same seat that was briefly held by Dr. Utopia, as he used it to launch his presidential campaign (but, honestly, never really served the people of Illinois in the Senate). Michael Steele, when we met him earlier in the year, said it was his dream to take this seat, the current president’s old seat.

But, we keep telling you that Mark Kirk is the wrong man for the job.

Kirk is trailing corruptocrat Alexi Giannoulias, the scion of the mob bank Giannoulias family, and protegee/basketball buddy/who knows what else of Dr. Utopia.

This is absurd.

Giannoulias’ family are the bankers for the mob in Illinois. They run Broadway Bank, an institution that should honestly use James Gandolfini in its promotional materials. Instead of giving away toasters with new accounts, they have horse heads delivered to the beds of people who’ve vexed you.

And Mark Kirk is losing to this guy in polls?

Republicans we know in Chicago are delusional in their like of Kirk. At several events, we’ve seen Kirk be very rude to people we know. At one of these, Kirk refused to answer simple questions related to why he voted for Cap & Tax in the House. A good friend of ours, who is very knowledgeable, pressed him on his vote and he quite condescendingly ignored her question and amateurishly started talking about how brave he was to serve in Afghanistan.

Kirk likes to do that, use his military service to deflect any question he doesn’t want to answer. It’s irksome, and insulting to people with families in the military. Personally, when he does this, it seems he only stepped into that uniform to reserve it for future political prop use.

Which is disgusting.

He is a small man in person, and very awkward when speaking to a group. He does not inspire great confidence in anyone.

On top of this, Kirk has serious Jack Ryan-grade scandals on the horizon, as his estranged wife decides to leak details of his failings as a husband to anyone who will listen. It’s not quite up to the level of Man’s Country romps, or whatever goes on at Trinity United with the Down Low Club, but it’s somewhere around the Larry Craig level of “please don’t let this come out during an election year”.

Republicans should dump Kirk, and run a black conservative in Illinois. Who is not Alan Keyes.

Why?

Because Roland Burris is the only black Senator. When he retires, there will be no black Senator. The black community race-votes. If Alexi Giannoulias, the Democrat, is running against a solid, non-crazy, black conservative, blacks will either stay home or will vote for a Republican for the first time in their life to keep a black in the Senate. Chicago Liberals also will not vote against a black candidate for the Senate (though white Libs won’t ever vote Republican…instead, they’ll just sit home and let the black Republican win).

Identity voting is a reality in Illinois. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it’s frustrating. But Mark Kirk is going to lose, and will install Dr. Utopia’s “basketball buddy” into the Senate…the kid whose family runs the mob’s bank.

Republicans need to wake up and get a clue.

Stop running candidates whose wives will rake them over the coals in a divorce, candidates who can’t answer questions, can’t explain why they voted for Cap & Tax, and can’t watch Jarhead without dreamily gazing upon the awesomeness of a g-stringed Jake Gyllenhaal in his little santa hat.