Saturday, January 4, 2014

Daydreams naught

Okay. I've had things like this come through my head ever since I can remember. I daydream constantly about situations or things I wish would happen or wishes on how I would like people to treat me, etc. I thought maybe if I write them down I might have a little better time dealing with the thoughts.

One on my mind pretty deep tonight has been from when I had issues with self mutilation in my teens, I would get so deep and fuzzy headed into my thoughts, usually very sad and negative, and I would be on the floor just incapable of doing anything for a short while. But if only someone just had that insight and knew that I needed to come back up, and cup my face and force me to look them in the eye and listen, and tell me specifically they know, and I need to come up.. and that I am ok, and situations are ok, and then scoop me in their arms and cradle me while I come back...

Sounds dramatic, and silly. But it's what I daydream about so often when I'm in tears, just wishing someone on this planet understood remotely what this is in my head or at least attempts to soothe things within me.. as I'm always trying desperately to do for others...