Monday, May 28, 2007

It's done, it's over. It's just the beginning. On Friday I signed mortgage papers.Lots of them. I had no idea how much paperwork a mortgage generated. But I've done it. My credit was good and my income was better, I am now joint owner to House and 13 acres on which House sits. When my mother eventually passes, House will not fall into probate, it will be mine. Well, and the bank's. Then I can delegate to my brother and then, my and his future children. It is a pretty big power trip, that I saved this. Brokemom likes being needed, don't you know that? I am being good to House. The refinancing enables House to get a new roof, and central heat/air. Okay, okay, and a jacuzzi. Sheesh! What's a girl gotta' do to get a jucuzzi soak around here?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I am at the end of the moving out and cleaning of Old Apartment. I can't help but sit in the living room sometimes, in the midst of scrubbing boogers off of walls (one of the J's is getting a talking to fersure) and rubbing stains out of the carpet, and I think to myself...Well, I think about how damn fucking proud I am of myself. That apartment represented my strength and courage and independence. I took myself and my daughters out of a bad bad situation, and I created a place that was mine. I paid for it, not the government, not anybody else. I kept it clean. I learned new things. I faced some tough times.I have some defining moments in my life, moments where I knew that my choice would forever alter my life. The first I can remember? When I decided to have a baby at 17. And the best thing? I've never regretted it, not once. Lessee, another? The fateful day when I decided I didn't want to be a Welfare Mommy anymore. Look what that has brought me! I met the man I am going to spend the rest of my days with when I got a job. And now that I have a better job? Well, what's not to love? My paychecks have four digits before the decimal point. I work during the day, I get weekends and holidays off. I have a freakin' retirement fund and health insurance. And I help people.Goodbye, Old Apartment. Goodbye, crackhead neighbors. Goodbye, dirty screaming neighbor children. It's been fun.

We're here, in our new old home. Color samples transferred from paint can to wall. (More specifically: from Home Depot to the porch, back to HD to get the tint correct and then back home, oh wait one more time is it perfect yet?) Most furniture moved in, old apartment still not empty. (Would we miss the things remaining?) I feel like a new chapter in my life is beginning. My two children are growing up healthy and happy, and for the most part, well-mannered. They're old enough to entertain themselves. I can take a trip away from them and not worry too much. Fiance is a Super Construction Build/Fix Stuff Man whom I trust. I have a job that I love. The size of my paychecks boggles me sometimes, compared to where I was 14 months ago. Granted, there have been pitfalls along the way (downgrading my internet connection, no cell signal, the fucking mosquitos!) but overall, no complaints.Hmmm...things are too happy, aren't they? This is the lull before the storm. I'll bet my transmission falls out tomorrow. On the other hand, how can things get better? I know, I'll win the lottery.

About Me

Once Upon A Time, I was a Welfare Mommy. I put myself through college and became a Welfare Worker, all while keeping my sardonic sense of humor in check. Then I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, quit my job, and now stay at home and raise three kids, ages 17, 13, and 6.
I can cook but can't "throw something together", I want to clean but procrastinate, but most of all I want to find myself.