Wednesday, November 28, 2012

As some of you will already know, I've decided to close down Theatre Notes. It's a decision that's been staring me in the face for a while now, and it's fair to say that I've been in furious denial for months. Having to finish up here makes me more sad than I can say. Making TN has been more rewarding than I ever imagined when I idly thought, back in 2004, that it might be an interesting idea to begin a theatre review blog. It's been my privilege and joy to chronicle the theatre I've seen over the past eight years, and to bear witness to what I am quite sure will be seen as one of the richest periods of Australia's theatre history.

The reason is simple: I can't sustain the work of serious theatre criticism and also be a writer, without regularly slamming into the walls of exhaustion that have bedevilled me this year (and not only this year). It's a lamentable fact that writing doesn't get easier: it gets harder, as each new work demands that you reach further. I suspect the same is true of reviewing. I have always hated repeating myself, and aside from the works I'm already writing, the various projects I have in mind demand and deserve my proper attention. Despite all my flailing attempts to avoid it, I find that I have to make a choice: and it has to be for my own work.

This hit me with particular force a month or so ago, when, wondering why I was (again) so deeply tired, I tallied up my wordcount for this year. In 2012 I have written, at a conservative estimate, around 180,000 words. Of those, about 120,000, or two-thirds, are words of criticism, the vast majority of it for TN. The rest are accounted for by a short novel I finished in June, another novel which I have now half completed, and two libretti. Numbers are crude and, in matters of creative output, often misleading: but staring at those figures (and also at the notebook in which I record my progress with my novels), I couldn't any more deny to myself that this blog interferes with my work.

I've attempted to battle TN down to something sane, but I can't: TN is the kind of blog it is because of the hours it takes to make it. To turn it into a TN-lite would defeat its purpose more thoroughly than actually ceasing to do it. In the past few weeks I have gone over this decision again and
again, and I always reach the same conclusion. It's painful but it's
also right. Some people have suggested that perhaps I could find a way for TN to make money. But it's never been about the money: I've been able to afford to do it because of the income I made from my books. The resources that are most scarce are time and creative energy.

A disbelieving colleague whom I told a couple of weeks ago said, Nah, you'll miss it too much. And I will. I really will. I'll miss the shows, I'll miss the challenge of thinking and writing about performance, I'll miss the whole damn thing. I've long thought the Melbourne theatre community, in its generosity and robust vitality, its argumentativeness and its curiosity, is something special. It's a huge and precious part of my life, and will no doubt continue to be so. However, if I'm part of it, I will be mostly be on the other side of the fence. I can't imagine that I'll cease criticism altogether, as that part of me continues restless; but it will be an art I pursue as a secondary practice. And, yes, I've learned through experience never to say never. But this is it for TN. Eight years is a nice, sacred number. If you turn it sideways, it means infinity: and it's true to say that this period of my life has been infinitely rich.

I want to thank the theatre companies, here and interstate, who have supported TN over the years, and here I especially want to thank Michael Kantor and Stephen Armstrong at the Malthouse Theatre, who in the early days of blogging were miles ahead of the rest of the world, in actively encouraging the debate that happened here and in other theatre blogs around Melbourne. Thanks too to the many institutions who supported TN over the years, especially the Perth and Melbourne Festivals. My heart broke when I had to refuse a visit to the next Perth Festival in February, and yes, that was when I understood that I was serious. I must thank my family for routinely standing me up at the theatre doors and for patiently and sweetly supporting their obsessive mother and wife; my colleagues, both bloggers and print critics, and the countless TN commenters for the many stimulating and fascinating arguments; and most of all, the hundreds of artists who have given me so much delight and inspiration over so many years. And lastly, I want to thank you, the reader. There have been a lot of you: the total for unique visits to TN now stands at 1,250,050. That works out as an average of about 17,000 visits (or 23,000 page loads) a month over the past two years. Not bad for a determinedly local, specialist blog. Your interest made it all possible.

Over the next few weeks I'll do some housekeeping, to make TN more useful as an archive and resource. Several people have suggested that I should put together a book of reviews and essays, and when I have caught my breath, I will think about doing so. (Publishers are welcome to flood me with offers.) In the meantime, dear friends, again thank you. I'll see you on the other side.

60 comments:

Alison, this is a sad day for the Melbourne theatre community. I respect your decision, but I'm going to miss readings your reviews. We didn't always agree, but your reviews often helped me clarify what I was thinking about a piece, when I couldn't quite find the words. Most recently, after seeing POMPEII L.A. last night.

Maybe there will just need to be more robust discussions with you in theatre foyers afterward?

Alison - Many thanks for your unstinting intelligence and dedication towards the theatre of, not only Melbourne, but the wider Australian scene. You will be missed. Many of us up here in Sydney wish we had someone as erudite, informed and passionate about theatre as you have exhibited yourself to be. Good luck with all that is ahead.

I shocked myself by crying when I read this. Thank you so much for your words, always. As I nervously said at the Theatre Forum last year, this blog and your writing was much of the reason I started writing about theatre myself: I found your blog, and found the whole internet of people writing about theatre because they loved it, outside of newspapers and traditional media. It gave me the permission to start writing myself, even though I knew next to nothing and it was all I could do to hope that one day I would be able to start to make an impact like you.

Thank you so much for the record of Melbourne - and Australian - theatre you have provided to all of us, particularly interstate. If I ever need to know about an old play or the previous work of an artist, you are always the first person I look to. And the commentary on contemporary theatre has been invaluable for me looking east.

Thank you so much for helping to create an environment where critics are respected and an integral part of the industry. That's something I feel every time I am in Melbourne, and I know a lot of that was due to your generosity and openness, particularly in the comments section.

Thank you. Best of luck in everything. I'll be following along with it all.

Well, it had to happen sometime, and its great that its happening to allow your creative work to prosper than for some other reason. Thanks for all your efforts, Alison. I think many saw you as the standard-bearer of arts criticism, and your insights are sure to be missed. Regards and best wishes to you.

Dear Alison, you not only gifted the theatre-makers you wrote about and their audiences - but others living in your shadow. Other reviewers like me in Sydney. You set such a standard, one which none among the rest of will ever reach. And from a historic perspective you have created a body work that speak to and about individual shows but also an entire era of theatre making in a particularly theatre-crazy city.

I have no doubt scholars and researchers and simple theatre lovers will go back and back to this exemplary account of an art form in action over what turned out to be a very interesting time.

With fewer rungs on the board and lots of breaks over the past two years (for reasons unnecessary to go into here) I have taken the opposite decision. People may know now that we have talked privately about the toll of blogging. And what our options are. I have decided to have a good go at next year and see how it works out.

I hope the theatre companies honour you with comps to their shows to come. I would imagine a Melbourne theatre foyer is going to look rather hollow on an opening night without your presence. Maybe you could do a round-up for us once a year in return!!!

Fond regards from a huge fan, and fun sailing of the seas that splash around on the other side of your writing mind.

There's a lot of well-deserved love and respect for this blog, but you're absolutely right to prioritise your own work.

On Twitter recently we have been talking about the endlessly tedious question of how writers can make money, and one good answer is not to pour so much of their effort into unpaid online writing, with the side effect of running their health into the ground.

I think turning Theatre Notes into a book is a great idea, and I look forward to encountering your intelligent, considered perspective elsewhere online and off.

I am so glad that you are taking care of your artistic soul which will feed you more & more methinks. Of course, like countless others, I will also miss your imaginative, generous, articulate sensibility & your sustained raising of ethical standards in discussion over the years. You have been a true chronicler of the times, in that the discussion of theatre is always the examining of internal life & its manifestations over time. And you used words as an artist does, specifically, & in truth. That combination is rare. Whether one agreed with you or not was all part of the beauty of debate. It was always a learning experience, a bar-raiser, profound, funny, & always as valuable (if not more) than the work being discussed!

Personally I was always excited at the prospect of reading your blog principally because I felt what you said actually accorded with you being totally present, in the moment, observing the macro & micro of a theatre event. It was in your details & the knowledgeable frames of reference your wit & sensibility drew upon which framed those observations. You really did your homework! And the legacy of that hard work has left us all with an amazing resource.

For all this, thank you so much Alison. You made the theatre itself more valuable with your presence. I truly wish that all your ventures to come prove ever richer.

A difficult decision, (by gosh, do I know it!), and one that hasn't come lightly nor easily... we have all (even Sydney-siders!) been very lucky to be graced by your mind and verve, your dedication and your wit and your generosity for so long. (And for FREE!!)

Here is my small offer to say:

Thank you for all you have trail-blazed, in the industry, for the industry...

Thank you for all the care and consideration you have shown to me and other writers/artists/bloggers in helping us navigate the tricky/dark/murky waters of the internet.

Thank you for never backing down from Woodhead's gauntlets.

Thank you for forgiving my spelling and grammar.

Thank you for engaging from across state lines with Theatre in Sydney and beyond.

Thank you for your kindness and generosity when respectfully disagreeing with me online and off.

Thank you for opening up discussion and debate in theatre, in arts, in Australia.

Thank you for being brave.

Thank you for being an alternative to the mainstream media.

Thank you for our wine date in Melbourne when my heart was bruised and mind muddled with Blog-burdens.

You are my favourite and only digital Aunty...

And Congratulations on putting your writing, your craft first - I look forward to purchasing and reading your works to come.

Alison, thank you for being a vigorous champion, leader, and model of arts blogging in this country (and for theatre blogging internationally - that's only in parentheses because I don't really belong to that community, but I know your work here was very important to it). Your generosity to online arts criticism is already a legend.

I am sad to see this - I think the Literature Board has been too slow to act on making support available to important blogs like Theatre Notes, and it is Australia's loss.Best wishes with all your work, and thanks again.

When I arrived in Melbourne five years ago, a colleague recommended your blog and it became my bible for current thinking, context, critical challenge as well as being a great read. Too many times I read your blog and said `Yes - exactly' as you managed to articulate a half-formed thought on my behalf.But I also know creative energy and time need to be allocated with great care.Thank you for everything

It's always beautiful to see someone choose to follow their heart, as you have done. I agree with all that everyone has said above, I couldn't phrase it any better. As a practitioner I will miss your perspective so much. But i hope we will still have wine in the foyer... TH is a magnificent achievement. Congrats. Good luck. Love

Thanks and good luck. You'll be missed. There hasn't been a day I haven't scanned this site for something new since 2007, my first year at uni. And your blog helped opened me up to the extraordinary world of Australian theatre. And me and Simon had a blast getting involved in the dialogue too.

To realise that you have to nurture your own spirit and art rather than servicing those of others is something that's inevitable somewhere along the line; but not easy to face. Meanwhile eight years of stimulating, intelligent, wide ranging, well researched, considered and fearless reviewing and thinking is one hell of an archiveWell done for all of it - including the stopping.Much affection and respect, as ever.Diana

Maybe last but not least, thanks a lot Allyson for this blog. It has been a permanent consult for me, because, apart from you deep homework and assertive way, you also took into account, sometimes, no tener la ultima palabra. And also, as a woman reviewer it could have a different point of view. I always remember your position on Aristotle's maxims.

And yes, as a librarian I would thank turning Theatre Notes into a book. Please let it have as many and as creative indexing it can have. More work, yes, but take your time. You certainly deserve it.

Thank you for all that you've done with this blog. Your insight, your passion, your generosity. It has long been the first theatrical port of call for many and your regular updates and thoughts will be missed. But Theatre Notes will remain as a wonderful archive of opinion and argument on what i believe to have been an exciting decade of theatre.I wish you all the very best. Thank you.

Thank you so much.Enough words cannot be said in praise (although it seems together we will all try...) of your contribution to intelligent, inspiring and inspired words on theatre and performance in Australia. I really hope we are able to keep the conversation alive without your monumental efforts and hours of dedication.

Alison, We have never met but I have read your blog for years, I've always been impressed by your passion, your intelligence and your vigour - as well as the time and effort you've put into your reviews. They remain a high point of arts journalism in this country. Very sad to know we'll no longer have your thoughts on the latest work in Melbourne and beyond - but the real tragedy would be to sacrifice your own work. Best of luck with the novels and librettos. If they are even a tenth as well written and considered as your reviews you'll do well.

Alison, we have never met, but I've read this blog for years and always turned to it for incisive and intuitive theatrical responses. And for reviews written with love! For the form, for the people who make it, and for the failures as well as the successes. I read it for the freshness of insight, for your literary and artistic knowledge, and for your gut instincts.

In the five years that I have lived in Melbourne; your blog has been a pillar for me. I check it several times a week, and read pretty much everything, even the comments. Even reading back over reviews from way back has been rewarding. At some points I have even considered making TN my homepage.

This site has helped me enormously. Your notes are the chronicle of the entirety of my time in Melbourne's theatre scene to date, and have often helped me clarify my own thoughts - even if it means I disagree with them. I adore your tenacity and true hunger for theatre of all kinds - qualities which I'm sure wil endure wether you're reviewing constantly or not. You engage with theatrical work in such a particular way that is truly admirable in its scope, wisdom and imagination.

This is the end of an era for me, as I'm sure it is for a lot of people. It's emotional. You're an inspiration. Not sure what I'll do without TN. Thanks heaps.

Thanks again to all of you, and also to all the people who have emailed me, or contacted me on Facebook or Twitter. You've all reminded me why I did this blog in the first place, and why it was so hard to decide to stop it, even when it was clear that it was insane to do so! Your words all mean a great deal.

Your blog will be well missed alison. As the arts pagers get thinner, and reviews get pushed into more obscure parts of the paper, it was great to know that someone was watching and writing about theatre in more than a couple of soundbites. Also as the white noise of new media gets louder and louder so many blogs have fallen into the trap of writing sensationalist lines in the hope of attracting more clicks and more debate, but I always felt yours was giving an absolute fair, informed, nuanced, layered, enlightened (I'm running out of superlatives, but I'm sure you get the drift) view.

I can't count the times I saw a show, then read one of your reviews and came to appreciate it even more, or think about an entire aspect of the show that hadn't even crossed my mind.

Please leave the blog up, because if anyone wants to be a local theatre reviewer I'll be sending them straight here.

I'm belatedly joining the chorus of people who are very sad to see your wonderful blog go, but also happy that you will be continuing to write your own creative work. You know I enjoy your novels, but I will miss the blog, especially as a Sydneysider whose first port of call for understanding what was going on in Melbourne was what you had to say.

It has been a privilege and an inspiration to follow this blog from the early, desperate times, when its emergence was a kind of miraculous shock, right through the development and flourishing of a ripping and labyrinthine discourse. It has been a remarkable time in theatre, many voices have clamoured around it, and TN was truly a clarion.

Tears here too from another person who has never met you! Will miss Theatrenotes enormously but looking forward to making new connections in the Melbourne theatre blog world - sounds like so much of this owes a debt to you too. Thanks so much for all your work, your insight and your passionate communication.

Brian Lipson emailed this after blogger ate his post, and asked me to post it here. A

Dear Alison,

What an astounding announcement. Of course it had to happen one day but somehow I never believed it would. The only consolation is that YOU are still very much present Alison even if TN has passed away. (I hate using that phrase about people but it seems apt with regard to the mysterious character of TN – Alive but Olympian in its profundity, willfulness and grandeur). More like the last twilight of a family of gods than the death of an individual, or like the passing of a great storm. (A rumble of thunder as I write!)

I have never posted on TN before. In fact I’ve never posted on anything before. I once told you that I was afraid that if I started I would be unable to stop – you seemed amused but understanding. Now I must try just once to say publicly how much this institution has meant to me. I don’t think it’s an overstatement to say that it saved my life, at least that part of my life that is involved with theatre – which is pretty much all of my life outside of my family. Six years ago I was Blasted by Helen Thompson who was the Age critic at that time. Usually her reviews were anodine but once or twice in her critical career she lashed out at certain artists she felt had somehow Betrayed her. (I received a wonderful letter of support from Ian Scott who had suffered similarly a few years before I did.) TN’s was the only enthusiastic response I received for an extraordinarily difficult and ambitious work I had made for the Melbourne Festival: Berggasse 19 – The Apartments of Sigmund Freud. You, my wife and children, your son Josh and Kristy Edmunds seemed to be the only people who really understood the show at all (apart from the people who made it of course). Most people seemed to really hate me for having foisted something unexpected and unwanted on them. We made the show against incredible odds but with great love and I felt unbearably guilty for having guided my collaborators and supporters to such desolation. Anyway, that’s how it felt at the time – some of you have been most complimentary since and I am very grateful, but at that time I felt utterly abandoned. It was reading your wonderful review and then meeting you soon afterwards that made the experience not only bearable but instructive.

Since then you have written often and generously about my work and I have often exclaimed to myself “Oh, I see, that’s what we were doing!” I’m sure that’s an experience many of your readers will share.

I remember once when I was talking about such things to Michael Kantor he said something like: “Yes, we’re all only really making work in order to please Alison”. I can’t think of a better ambition.

I arrived in Melbourne last year and stumbled upon this blog. I read a review you wrote of Clybourne Park and it inspired me to go and see the show, it turned out to be one of the best i have ever seen.

I found theatrenotes the best source of theatre reviews online, checked in regularly and often used it as my gauge as to whether something was worthwhile seeing or not.

I have seen some great shows over the past year as a result so thanks again.

Yes, hear hear, thank you thank you in echo of all the comments before me. Aside from loving the richness of your thoughts and analysis, i have enjoyed being challenged to post a comment or two over the years and engage in the dialogue you so skilfully initiate. Thank you for making this forum for us to share. As a Regional Artist who doesn't get to Melbourne often at all (let alone Sydney, or Perth...), I especially thank you. You have made this a place of invaluable connection to my working world.

I wish you all the very best with your energy levels, and much joy in your own work.

Having worked in independent theatre for a number of years, I feel I need to, as I'm sure my colleagues will all agree, thank you for your support and encouragement and appreciation that you've shown towards all our hard work, making it even more worthwhile for us as we toil through our little well-meaning profit-share projects in an effort to create something special. It's always nice to know that some beautiful maternal figure is paying attention and sometimes tells us 'well done, I look forward to your next show.'

Theatre Notes was my port of call to read about productions and performing artists in Melbourne that I could not see. I always felt a twinge of jealousy upon opening your pages at the cultural wealth your forum evidenced ... in addition to the detailed criticism and broader artistic reflection, there is so much love for artistic practice in your writing, that is lacking in so much broadsheet writing. I hope the theatre companies look for an opportunity to nominate you for a jolly big community arts award (if there is one still) for the incredible contribution you have given, and so generously. Thank you and warm regards, Andrée Greenwell

Dear Alison, Thank you so very much for theatrenotes. It has been a constant reference point for me: not only to get a fresh perspective on particular shows and deeper understanding about their context, but also as a tool through which to reflect upon and understand more deeply the local, national, international and theoretical context in which I, as an actress and maker, work. I will really miss it. I will mourn its loss. It has enriched, enlivened and invigorated my world.Thank you, Caroline

Thankyou for your intelligence,passion,enthusiasm for all forms of theatre and your respect for the artists who strive in the 21st century to create,to mystify,to entertain and to dream.I never have written to a critic but as you will be,in a short time,no longer a critic,I just wanted you to know that your analysis of Australian theatre has kept me not only up-to-date in far off Berlin but entertained,intrigued,delighted,frustrated and above all stimulated.I imagine your voice will be a huge loss for the theatre community..Best wishes for future and thankyou.You will be missed.

This blog has been a vital source of intelligent, honest and articulate criticism not only for us Melburnians, but also, for the wider Australian theatre community. I have always enjoyed reading your intelligent reviews and well thought out criticisms. I have, more than once, marvelled at the vast quantities of time and energy you must have channelled into the leviathan that TN became. Not only seeing shows and reviewing them but continuing to engage with comments and secondary criticisms and pursuing lines of thought and reflection as they have accumulated over the years. This blog has become renowned as the forum for thinking about theatre will serve as a model for many years to come.

Dear Alison, it will be very empty out there without Theatrenotes. Your insight, wit, erudition and ability to turn a nifty phrase have been a high bar for other critics to attempt... and they have all failed. I suspect the sophistication of the conversation about theatre and the resulting work that seems to have taken hold in Melbourne's independent theatre scene over the last... well, pretty much eight years, owes at least something to the passion you have shown for good work, the connections you have pointed to, and the carelessness you have admonished. I'll look forward to reading your new book.

Thanks so much for the comments, one and all! They are deeply appreciated. As there have been a couple of later comments, just FYI: the blog comments are open, but moderated to prevent spam. So there will be a delay before they appear.

Because comments aren't available on the post above ... is there any possibility of posting links to the ABC Arts reviews here? ABC Arts Online is a lovely site, but it isn't spectacularly searchable for "just the Croggon"

Hi That Guy - yes, it's hopeless. I can't even find them once they fall into the past... But a groovy redesign is imminent which will make all that much easier. Good idea on posting links though, and might do that on the weekend.

Congratulations on maintaining an exceptional theatre blog for 8 years. I have always found your comments to be thoughtful and insightful, as an audience member, theatre maker and drama educator. I will miss your reviews but wish you much creative energy as you devote yourself to your other writing and your family.