Lorde's Birth Certificate Proves She's Really 17

Truthers, forever hold your peace.

Now that Lorde is as famous as the president, it's only natural that she should be dealing with the same problems that he does. That's right — there are Lorde truthers.

The "Royals" singer (and new BFF of Taylor Swift) has long maintained that she is a teenager, a statement that many people have trouble believing because she 1) is extremely precocious and 2) kind of dresses like a drunk grandma headed to Bingo Night.

Has Lorde has a fucking hard life in the mines or does that 17 year old just look like shes in her mid 50s??

Thankfully, the government of New Zealand cleared it all up today by releasing her birth certificate, which confirms that she was indeed born in 1996, making her 17 years old (she won't be 18 till November, pervs).

While this does put to rest a suspicion that I myself have long held about Lorde, it leaves one major question unanswered: What the hell was that stuff on her fingers at the Grammys on Sunday?