Love Marriage n Life

Maybe It’s Physical?

I have to be honest that I cannot remember being more attracted to a guy than I was to P. The first time we went out to dinner, I was so nervous and shy that I could barely look at him for about 10 minutes. I am NEVER shy and rarely nervous. I even held the menu up to my face because I couldn’t stop smiling n blushing. Luckily, he found my shyness adorable and kind of hot lol. He had met me before and spoken to me on the phone a bunch of times. He knew it was completely unlike me and said he was nervous and shy too.

He is a gorgeous guy but he basically has no clue because he’s spent the last 20 years with a frigid narcissist that made him feel like he was never good enough. Women used to go crazy over him when we were together, and he was usually too busy staring at me, kissing me, holding my hand or hugging me to notice. It used to make me feel so special.

Many people, women and men, have told me he looks a LOT like an actor, Bobby Cannavale. He actually really does look like him, except his eyebrows aren’t as bushy lol. So here’s a few pictures of that actor.

The last time we spoke I said to him maybe it was just a physical thing. He said no way because even though he thinks I am gorgeous and sexy, he loves my mind as much as he does my looks and body. He said that I make him laugh like no one else ever has, and I’m the only woman he’s ever been able to be completely be himself with, including so so.

But I was talking more about me. Maybe I am just extremely attracted to him. Who knows?

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39 thoughts on “Maybe It’s Physical?”

The answer to this is difficult. Physical attraction is key in a relationship and often the first step. But, we all age and something more is needed to keep that spark alive. I have discussed this before on this blog but it is important for one to determine not only their language of love for receiving love but also how they give love. That is an integral part to finding the right partner.

Though not a definite, I have often found that women have difficulty in separating the physical and the emotional aspects of the relationship in intimacy. The emotional aspect usually builds up the physical part in a woman’s eyes. Men tend to be very different. We can basically eliminate the emotional part in favor of the physical, thus we are visually stimulated.

I have been told before that I “know” things that I shouldn’t. Like, I guess I just pick up on random bits of info that isn’t ever disclosed, but I somehow sense it anyways. Thanks for the prayers! Love you! 💋 💙 M

I’m ok…I think that love is between two separate people who have their own interests and who come together to support each other in life…In my relationship I love my partner and my grief at losing him would be terrible but, I can live without him, in part because he has made my life so much better just by sharing it with me.

A very wise perspective that most take as unflattering. We should arrive at happiness in life before we are able to move forward with someone else. Too many times people look to others to bring them happiness. People should add to the joy in your life but shouldn’t be expected to make you happy. I hope you and your partner continue in that manner.

Attraction, physically, is obviously very important in starting and maintaining a relationship. And, with the issues you have with your H, it’s not surprising that the “physical” aspect held a lot of weight. But, based on what I’ve read, there’s more to what you felt. But the heavier weight seems to be the baggage he brought with him. That doesn’t seem to be weight you’re willing to lug around. Am I right?

Yes he does have more baggage than many of us. I knew exactly who he was and what I was signing on for. Some things have changed thankfully. Like his family now supports him 100% and loathes the narcissist. But I truly have not allowed myself to even entertain the possibility of a future with him. Because #1 He’s not separated or divorced and #2 I have months of therapy with my H I’m focused on. So it wouldn’t be helpful to even speculate at this time.

I understand deep attraction to someone. Chemistry. it happens. The problem is really great sex turns our brains to mush and leads to bad decisions. But also look at this perspective. Sometimes in affairs (or legitimate relationships, for that matter), we mistake “love” for what’s really going on — gratitude. We are grateful to that person in a profound way for how they make us feel about us. That’s where the real narcissism in affairs comes in – we love how they make us feel about us!! And that’s the trap. If you step back and look at it from this perspective, you can recognize that yes, I AM attracted to this person, but I’ve been attracted to others, and probably will again. But that what we had was probably have an illusion – fueled by ego and unmet need. Not true love. It may give you some emotional distance from it all. just a thought.

I think that’s very common in affairs. Mistaking how good someone makes us feel with love. I hoped n thought that would be the case with us. It’s 9 months later. We haven’t seen one another and we went many months no contact. I don’t need him n he doesn’t need me, but the love is still strong. It’s pretty unusual for a man’s family to say he should get divorced, take some time and if I’m separated that he should ask me out to dinner lol. There was absolutely unmet needs but ego not so much.