Nuns are a good study group as they live similar lives.. Happier nuns live longer. Duchenne smile in college yearbook best predictor of future happiness!

Daniel Kahneman :) Advice to take care of our endings. Hand in cold water test.​ (Personal note : I never go back to the same place on holiday no matter how brilliant it was because I want to protect the memories. I fear a bad experience would taint all the others. )

Fordyce Emotions Questionaire - How often do I feel happy? (50%)

Chapter 2- How Psychology Lost Its Way And I Found Mine

A brief Bio of Martin Seligman. President of APA vote, 30 years of grants, Grey lab environment Psychology only looking at problems and disorders. NIMH 10 billion well spent.

Pessimists and Optimists. Learned Helplessness in rats who give up responding if they have no control over pain. Teaching 10 y/o optimistic thinking cuts depression during puberty.

Money important up to GNP = $8,000 p/person. Life Satisfaction & Purchasing Power Country table. Swiss top. Materialism counter productive "people who value money more than other goals are less satisfied with their income and with their lives as a whole....why is a mystery"

Negative emotion damaging in test data but not as much as was expected., Women have more positive and negative emotion on average.

How to increase your gratefulness : 2 weeks 5 mins. In th last 24 hours list up to 5 things in your life you are grateful for.

How we feel about past is ONLY due to our memories. No known way to suppress or forget but can be re-written. Inverse relationship between unforgiveness and life satisfaction. Mandela, Ghandi v Milosevic and Makarios

Positive emotions about the future include Faith, trust, confidence, hope and optimism.

Studies show optimism and hope = better work performance, physical health and resistance to depression due to bad events.

Optimism Test - Permanence = Time (Good & Bad things are believed to be permanent or temporary) Pessimism v Optimism . eg "The boss is a bastard" v "The boss is in a bad mood" and for good events "I try hard" v "I am talented". Does Mindset suggest pessimism is actually better for happiness?

Pervasiveness = Space (Domains) "determines whether helplessness cuts across many situations or is limited to the original area eg I was fired so I am no good at anything gives a very different feeling to I was fired so I am no good at Accounting. Opposite is true for positive events. Pessimists believe good events are caused by specific factors. "I was chariming to her" v "I am charming"

Hope the most important scores in the optimism test. Concept of learned optimism enables scientists to study hope.

Events can be viewed in a hopeless or hopeful manner eg "I'm stupid" or "I'm hungover" and "I'm lucky" or "I'm talented"

"People who make permanent and universal explanations for good events, as well as temporary and specific explanations for bad events, bounce back from troubles briskly and get on a roll easily when they succeed once"

Well documented method for building optimism = recognising and then disputing pessimistic thoughts, treating them as if they were uttered by an external person

It is essential to realize your beliefs are just that - beliefs. They may or may not be facts. Important to stand back just to check

Learning to Argue with Yourself - Four important ways - Evidence, Alternatives, Implications and Usefulness

Pessimism is often an overraction so evidence likely to be on your side. Most events have many causes which can be thought through. If a negative belief is true then one bad dinner doesn't make divorce, The world sometimes is not fair but a true belief can be destructive. Sometimes better to let go of it and be happier.

Sense organs linked directly to positive emotion see this in babies. Covered in mud then a hot shower always feels great.

Fade rapidly once external stimulus dissapears and we become accustomed to them (habituation)

Rapid repeated indulgence in the same pleasure does not enhance pleasure. Pleasure of 2nd taste of ice cream less than half of first

Many have negative aftermath as set up a level of craving and is mechanism of drug addictions

Inject life with many events that produce pleasure but the time between them is crucial. Experiment to find optimal spacing

Savouring and Mindfulness. Bryant and Veroff tested thousands of undegraduates. Share experience with others, be proud, take mental and/or physical souvenir of event and focus on certain element to sharpen perception. Finally get totally absorbed

Beautiful day project - Plan hour by hour a day to indulge your favorite pleasures.

In ordinary English we do not seperate the gratifications from the pleasures - shame. Difference between good and pleasant life

Bottom 3 billion of positive affect are not consigned to unhappiness - it lies in the abundant gratifications they can have and hold

Athenians keen on differences and know more than we do now. Eudaimonia (happiness) distinct from bodily pleasures, chemically induced or attained by any short cuts. It can only be had by activity consonant with noble purpose.

High flow kids think low flow kids have more fun BUT are more happier and successful later in life

Depression is 10x higher as it was in 1960 and trikes at much younger age. Mean age of first time depressed was 29.5 now 14.5. Paradox as education, nutrition, purchasing power up but subjective well being down. Explain? Over reliance on short cuts leads to self-absorption - major cause of depression. Gratification dispels self-absorption and generates flow. The pet Lizard!

"When an entire lifetime is taken up in the pursuit of positive emotions, however authenticity and meaning are nowhere to be found"

Chapter 8 - Renewing Strength and Virtue

Abraham Lincoln "Better Angels of our Nature" Victorian belief that action proceeds from character both good and bad

Insanity seen as moral degeneracy and defect. Lawless and violent men came from lower class (Labor riots 1886)

Explanation of lawless violence lay in defect of environment - alien to 19th century mind. Social science and positive environmentalism. Even people of good character will succumb (Hugo and Dickens novels) to malignant environment

Character played no role good or bad in behaviorism. Gordon Allport father of personality theory believed science should describe what is (personality) rather than prescribe (character) what it should be.

Commonplace to assume that virtues are merely a matter of social convention. In 21st century America self esteem, good looks, assertiveness, autonomy, uniqueness, wealth and competitiveness are highly desirable whereas chastity silence, magnificence and vengeance now seem alien and undesirable.

Lack of agreement from one diagnostician to another is called unreliability

Martin and his team shocked to discover after reading through over 200 catalogues across every major religious and cultural tradition over 3,00o years that six virtues are endorsed across all of them

Wisdom and knowledgeCourageLove and humanityJusticeTemperanceSpirituality and transcendence​

Part III - In the Mansions of life

Chapter 10 - Work And Personal Satisfaction

In wealthiest nations money losing its power - moving from money to satisfaction economy

Recrafting any job to your deploy signature strengths will make it more enjoyable and can turn into a calling. Calling = gratification and is done for its own sake rather than just the material benefits. Hospital ordely and taking ownership of pictures for patients.

Comparison to sea change of education 50 years ago. Moved from humiliation (dunce cap, smacking) to rewarding strengths

Work-Lifge Survey - Are you in a Job, a Career or a Calling - (I didn't fit into any of these categories I felt it a little simplistic- MV)

Job = Means to an end when the wage stops you quit. Career = Achievements are marked my money and advancement. Calling = Using signature strengths and seeing your work as contributing to the greater good

Most of history children were apprentices to their parents preparing to take over their work. Changed from 16th century Europe

Magentic attraction of the city for young people were action and choice. Move towards the concept of adolescence

Life in 21st century all about choice. Two biggest and most prolonged are which job and which mate. Few adopt parents line of work

Work can be prime time for flow and people can as a result feel more engaged at work than at home. ESM study with pagers

Games and hobbies produce more flow than passive activities like watching TV.

Clear relation between positive emotion at work, high productivity, low turnover and high loyalty.

Win win option of using signature strengths. Work is more fun, turns into a calling and a big stride on the road to the good life

Chapter 11- Love

Irrational commitment is a very common human trait - test with value of beer mug increased when it is owned (Possession Bias MV)

Love is vastly more than affection in return for what we expect to gain. Natural answer to Bankers Paradox. Loans given to people who don't need it anywhere near as much as those who are refused a loan.. Tailspin - in sickness and in health

Married people : 40% very happy. Never married : 23% very happy. True across every ethnic group studied.

"As marriage has declined and divorce increased, the amount of depression has sky rocketed

Three kinds of love - People who give us comfort and acceptance. People who depend on us for these provisions and romantic love. Marriage is unique as it gives us all three together.

Ancestral parents who had deep commitment more likely to have more viable children so marriage is by natural selection not cultural

Women in stable sexual relationship ovulate more regularly and reach menopause later, children have more positive view of partners

Difference between capacity to love and The Queen of Strengths the capacity to BE loved.,

Children separated by mothers scientific study - three stages - protest, despair and detachment (Families by Robin Skinner & John Cleese go into detail about these stages P110 in chapter called "I'm God and lets leave it like that")

Attachment theory Cindy Hazan & bPhilip Shaver - Way you look at mum as a toddler operates in intimate relations all through life

Secure adults have better self esteem, good balance of dependence and independance and they admit when they are upset. They avboid one night stands. As long as there is one secure person in a relationship it does better.

Avoidant people are more approving of casual sex. Anxious women exhibitionists and bondage. Anxious men just have less sex!

Martin Seligaman read through all the major marriage manuals (not recommended) mostly how to repair but found a few nuggets

John Gottman leading marriage authority predicts divorce in couples with 90% accuracy. Signs of divorce are

The people we love can only be deeply and irrationally committed to us if we are one of a kind in their eyes

Chapter 12 - Raising Children

Young children have a lot of positive emotion. Evolution has made this a crucial element in the growth of children

When a young organism experiences negative emotion it runs for cover. Depression readily spiral downward

Three Principles for parenting : 1. Positive emotion broadens and builds resources that can be used later in life. 2. Adding positive emotion can lead to upward spiral of positivity 3. Childs positive traits just as real as negative

Eight Techniques for Building Positive Emotion

​Sleeping with your baby - To create secure strong attachment

Synchrony Games - Teaching the baby they are not helpless and have some control + play is great

No and Yes - Too many No's negative to growth. Savings the No's for times when they really count

Praise and Punishment - Praise selectively (same message as Mindset Carol Dweck) Punish action not child's character and ensure they know exactly why they are being punished.(From TV series Supernanny to Families Robin Skinner explain how important this is)

Sibling Rivalry - Not a problem so long as parental affection and attention not a scarce resource

Bedtime Nuggets - Best Moments of the day and Dreamland calling up a happy picture and describe it just before bed

Making a Deal - Reward for changing behaviuor. Use sparingly to break downward spiral and never bluff if child breaks promise

New Years Resolutions - No thou shall nots but based on positive accomplishments

Child Strength Survey

Chapter 13 - Reprise and Summary

Chapter 14 - Meaning and Purpose

John Templeton - Lycord Cay Club in Bahamas - Group of 10 discussing meaning of life