I am so, so glad I am doing this by myself, without any fitter, hotter spectators to LOL heartily at me.

0:12. My knees hurt. How long has it been since I moved? Had fire been invented yet? Why aren't we taking any breaks? Oh, she says it's because we need to give it all we got. Jenna at work told me this wasn't that hard. But Jenna also humblebrags about missing the gym for one day and then feeling soooo fat after eating a huge salad. I'll tell you where to shove your salad, goddamn Jenna.

0:13. It really helps when Jillian talks about having the kind of body that will make your exes jealous. She should say that more, because for a few seconds afterwards I don't want to sweat blood and die here on my floor.

0:14. Come on, think about that Bridget Jones' Diary montage where throws out all her self-help books and starts exercising. IIIIIII'M EVERY WOMAN, IT'S ALL IN MEEEEEE—

0:18. Oh my God, the two girls behind you are sweating bullets. Even the one doing the modifiers. I am fucked.

0:19. I NEED A WATER BREAK BUT IF I TAKE A WATER BREAK I AM A FAILURE AND WON'T MAKE MY EX JEALOUS/BE ABLE TO LIFT HIM OVER MY HEAD AND THROW HIM AGAINST A WALL LIKE A WWF STAR, BRAYING MY VICTORY TO THE SKY LIKE A ROMAN WARRIOR.

0:20. If I have to stretch and strain every muscle in my body for one more second I am going to lose it. If I have to squat one more time I am going to call this off and move to a remote island nation where I never have to think about mountain-climbers again.