As uncouth as it sounds, I'm strangely -shh!- addicted to Lily Allen's F*** You. It sounds like a rock song with people screaming in your ear about various exes, but surprisingly, only the latter ("various ex") applies. The song starts with a little tune reminiscent of The Carpenters (whom, yes, I still listen to) and the chorus reminds me of something out of a Teletubbies episode, or something, far from the electric guitars and yelling that rock songs tend to like.

But before I go on, let me tell you a little story. It's real, based on events that happened right today just a short while ago to a teenager who likes to write.

It is not a bad thing to stumble upon a beautiful khaki trench-dress,especially when it doubles as a coat, has 70% off the price and is the lastpiece available in that very colour.

However, it is a bad thing when you are travelling with yourmother, who was ostensibly trying on a new pair of pants at the Portland counterbut has since disappeared, leaving you to fend off irate salespeople who seem tobe asking, "So are you buying it OR NOT?" with every terse glance.

It becomes worse when you have suffered from an on-off stomach ache eversince you ate those delicious ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch, at Mr Beancafe (after carefully prying off the tomato and lettuce), and you'reforced to hold your breath in and try not to puke all over the corridor whileyou wait, trench-dress over your arm, looking to and fro for your mother andoccasionally glancing at your watch to look purposeful. You occasionally ventureto look for her, but with the dress still with you (it's the last piece!), youare afraid of the salespeople eating you up on suspicion of shoplifting.

The nightmare ends when your mother finally arrives, mouthing, "I couldn't find you!" when you really want to say it's the opposite, and forcesyou to try the dress on again although you keep telling her it fits just fine.(You know mothers, they want to make sure the dress isn't a paedophile indisguise before they buy it.) After trying it on, you argue in front of theamused salesman attending to the sales register about whether or not the dress'sslightly poofed hem makes you look frumpy or not.

After changing back into your regular clothes and trying to maintain yourdignity, holding your head high, you prance out of the fitting room and back towhere your mother is studiously surveying the batch of clothes that have beenmarked 70% off at Pena House. She follows you to where you've found some redblouses specially for her, as well as a beautifully festive red cardigan withglitter finishing, but pronounces it "itchy" and the colour, her "favourite" but"dangerous" to wear given the political situation.

Finally, much to your utter relief and happiness, she agrees to pay for thetrench-dress. You are glad that although it cost 1290 baht, it's been reduced toa mere 387, which even your mother can't sniff at.

It's now become your beautiful khaki trench-dress, that doubles asa coat, had 70% off the price and was the last piece available in that verycolour.

It happened to me today, when we were at MBK, ostensibly to alter my EP jeans which were far too long for me.

We first got distracted right at the entrance by a stall selling pashminas. My mother was practically drooling over the two-tone shawls, which the salesperson could tell- we ended up buying 3, and had to wait a while for the 3rd to arrive because the one on hand had stains on it and therefore couldn't be bought (in my mother's opinion). I think my mother will keep all 3 with her, though, because she tends to wear them more than I do, but I picked out a rather pretty shade of blue (between powderblue(SVG) #B0E0E6 and cerulean blue #9BC4E2 on December's Blues Hex Hub), while she preferred an icy blue (which I originally picked out but later 'dumped') as well as a rose hue that I couldn't help approving of, because if you could see it it's really beautiful, all light and pinkish.

She was also looking for a small, unpretentious brooch to wear for Friday's National Day ceremony, so we ventured into a crowded jewelry shop. However, as it usually is, she didn't find what she wanted and I found what I wasn't looking for but wanted to buy anyway: a really HMMA-looking mismatched pair of earrings, with gold flowers and white and crystal beads. My mother said the white bead made it look cheap and preferred the black version, but if you know me you'll know that I nearly always wear white (today was one of the rare days I actually wore BLACK) so I bought the white one, for 199 baht. It's beautiful, I might wear it tomorrow for Orientation (eep!).

Then she decided that we couldn't get distracted any longer so we quickly set forth for the 3rd level, to a jeans shop which my mother always goes to for denim alterations. I gave them my EP pair to be altered and we looked around 'cos my mother wanted a new pair of jeans. I think we drove the salesperson crazy: my mother likes high-waist, not-too-skinny light blue jeans and always says she'll buy a guy's pair if that's what it takes. So the first pair was too gray (I liked it but my mother said she "wanted to SCRUB. IT. OUT!"), the second pair didn't fit well, the third pair was too skinny, the fourth pair... I THINK it was the fourth pair that she finally went with. (She would've looked for a fifth but they didn't have the colour she was looking for so she bought the fourth.)

It was (probably fake) DvB for Rock + Republic, with "pretentious" crystal-studded crowns at each back pocket that my mother couldn't do anything about, and I bought a pair of cuffed denim shorts from the same "brand". (Did Victoria B ever do a collection for Rock + Republic??) Rather expensive, but the salesperson and I were surprised to see they were 1 inch away from fitting my EP pair EXACTLY. We left them there cos my mother's needed altering, took my EP (which had been done) and went to Ten & Co.

This is where we spent rather long, cos my mother kept trying on stuff, and I tried on 6 things and then had to try 5 of them on over again cos my mother didn't see 'em (again, the Paedophile-in-disguise dilemma). Finally bought 3 T-shirts. I would've bought a navy skinny belt, because I really like Ten & Co. belts and I love skinny belts as much or even more, but by the time I told my mother she was adamant that we not buy anything else. Oh well. They would've gone so well with my High School shirts...!!

I actually went and compiled a little table of things, because I like cataloguing stuff I've bought and their prices (if I can remember 'em), so I calculated that roughly (because I can't remember how much #4 cost) I spent 1834 Baht which is about 78.7 SGD judging by the latest exchange rate of 23.3 dollars. The amazing thing is, if my calculations are right, I saved95.1 SGD, or 2216 Baht!!!

Gotta go. I'm painting a second coat of transparent nail polish (uninspired, I know, but what's a girl to do when she is HOPELESS at a French mani??) while I still have time to, so I'm gonna sign out of everything and watch my Jane Eyre 1996 downloads. :D