Strange feeling coming over meAs I stare at my coffeeDon’t know if it’s lack of sleepOr my post baby bodyMust be this new egoThat comes when your assets growNow I want to share them aroundWith everybody

When I’m out getting a bite to eat
Or meeting people on the street
I’m always thinking to myself
Would you like to see them
They’ve never been this big before
Come on whatcha waiting for
Don’t give me that awkward look
That you really don’t want to see them

Everybody knows new mothers are exhibitionists
Taking every chance they get to ruin your day with tits
Pretending their little ones need
Some comfort or a feed
Taking every chance they get to ruin your day with tits

So please don’t offer me a blanket or a shawl
I’m happy for everyone to cop an eyeful
And I’m not going to retreat
To the comfort of a toilet seat
I’m staying right out here
Where everybody eats

Everybody knows new mothers are exhibitionists
Taking every chance they get to ruin your day with tits
Pretending their little ones need
Some comfort or a feed
Taking every chance they get to ruin your day with tits

Because tits are scary, just like spiders
Like Essendon on peptides -er
They’re the monsters under your bed
Or the voice in your head

And they’re the scary thing behind the curtain at night
And they’ll claw and at you and bite
Like being chased by a tornado
Or a real life a Sharknado

Everybody knows new mothers are exhibitionists
Taking every chance they get to ruin your day with tits
Pretending their little ones need
Some comfort or a feed
Taking every chance they get to ruin your day with tits