I recently decided to make the long-overdue escape from Verizon Wireless to a different server, Republic Wireless. After a lengthy process of tracking down my dues in order to cancel my service, I found out that my total to cancel the service is $105. I have paid a lot of money to Verizon for all sorts of various charges over the years, and this company has consistently offered layers of difficulty in customer service dealings. Most of the time, I find that I need to talk to a person on the phone in order to handle my account problems, and that always entails long wait periods and clueless, indifferent individuals with trained lines that they repeat by rote every time.
Verizon as a corporation has no interest in providing a humane, modern service to allow people to efficiently and fully pay the money of a cancelled Verizon contract online. It doesn’t take a lot of speculation to figure out why this is the case. The company’s foremost goal is to keep the money flowing in, and that means doing anything from inconveniencing customers to passive aggressively blocking customers from leaving Verizon’s service.
At this point, I am fed up with the energy and time I have spent trying to deal with Verizon’s poor customer service and lack of human compassion. I would rather, like so many other Verizon ex-customers, just pay the damn fee and get out. No more waiting lines, no more having to patiently repeat myself to a numb employee on the other end. That’s if it were an ideal world, and as I mentioned, it turns out there is no easy way out of this business.

I searched for a simple link in the lengthy list of pages on the base of the general site pages, anything from “thinking of switching servers?” to “contract end period”. Nothing/nada/zilch.
I went through the My Verizon drop down menu that had a bubble with a neat little logo for each option. There was, sad to say, no bubble with a phone nicely broken in half, or more accurately, with an X overlaid on it.
I went instead to “change features”. There I found an extensive list of options to get, namely which various data clouds I could purchase, the “control your family option” which offered a creepy $4.99mo/per Account that gives parents (presumably) the powers from “identifying late night texting to controlling data usage by line, FamilyBase gives parents insight and control (true quote!) over when, how and with whom your kids communicate” Enjoy your first month free! (Limited time offer)!

There was nothing that offered a simple route to change service there, to my woe, so I continued my labyrinthine exploration to figure out how the hell I could get off this service.
I used in the Verizon site search bar to look for the following to no avail:

344 hits for “cancel service” ! (really? that many for such a clear and obviously necessary topic? Oh I see! you’re trying to scare me off… your reply of “did you mean…?” and hundreds of unrelated posts that are generated throughout the site… “No, you fuckers! I meant I want to CANCEL MY PLAN!”)

A “Live Chat” opportunity popup appeared, and I clicked on it, thinking that maybe a live chat was my last resort to getting off the program. Perhaps on the other side of that connection, a real person could do the footwork for me. Or… would they tell me I had to call the company to cancel (the ultimate Verizon “lick my balls”). If I had to call again, that would be over an hour I had spent on the phone waiting to deal with this today.

Here’s a transcription of the interaction.

Thank you for contacting Verizon Wireless, a chat specialist will be with you soon.
Thank you for contacting Verizon Wireless, a chat specialist will be with you soon.
Thank you for contacting Verizon Wireless today!

I hope you’re having a great day! Your Chat Session ID is RT19758481695 and my name is Karrie. How may I assist you?

Rosalind: Hi. I am trying to find the way to cancel my plan. There doesn't seem to be any distinct link on your website to do this efficiently, does there.

Karrie: Hi Rosalind! Oh No! I?m sorry to hear that you are thinking of canceling. May I ask what has changed?

Rosalind: No. That is my business. I just need a link to get me off the service. Thanks

Karrie: The option to cancel your account would not be a option available online.

Karrie: What I can do is remark your account of your wishes and get the process started for you so when you call to give the verbal consent the account can be disconnected with our team at 1-800-922-0204.

Rosalind: I have spent over an hour on the phone trying to deal with Verizon today. Is there really no online way to handle this?

Karrie: I am sorry Rosalind, there is a option to suspend your line online. There would not be a option to cancel the line online.

Rosalind: Thanks Karrie. Verizon sucks balls.

The following was the feedback survey popup that appeared directly after I clicked “End Chat” and the bubble closed.

Thank you for chatting today. Please provide us with your feedback so we may serve you better.
Based on your most recent chat with Verizon Wireless, did the last representative you chatted with fully understand and take action to resolve your concern? *

No

If chat was not available how would you have contacted us? *
Phone
Not at all
(not given… my write in is: I would have contacted you via a message system that allows me to cancel my service, any fucking online system you put out a**holes)
Considering your chat session with the last representative, how would you rate their performance? (10 Outstanding, 0 Unacceptable) *
4
How likely is it that you would recommend Verizon Wireless to a friend or colleague? (10 Extremely Likely, 0 Not at all Likely) *
I put 0 because it was the lowest. I’d put -10 if it had been an option.
Would you use our chat service again? *

No

Verizon Wireless would like to understand how to improve our Chat service. Please take a moment to tell us why you rated Verizon Wireless this way. (Please be as specific and detailed as possible in your answer below.) *
My answer: There is a real blockage of the company to make the customer service useful. Chat and phone systems both unveil workers who do not try to help customers beyond the call of duty, because the bottom line is "make a sale, get a commission." I recommend that you humanize your services. I recommend that you try the "give a shit about people" card, and offer an easy out if your customers can't stand your service. The last thing I want to do is wait on your line while your waiting-jingle cheerfully advertizes your products at my tired, sick-of-verizon ears. A decent company offers that service. That a customer can efficiently get out, especially after you (verizon) have informed your customer that the only way out is to pay somewhere between $100-300 to cancel. At least let me drip my last artist's below-poverty-line dollars into your IV tube.
Would you like us to email you a transcript of this chat? *

No

If yes, please provide your email:
I did not.

Items marked with * are required.

Me: They’ve got you to the very end. I couldn’t submit the feedback form unless I answered every single question on their form.