Word Nerd

I’ve been obsessing over words lately. New turns of phrases, or sayings. It’s totally nerdy but stuff like that just tickles me. I get something in my head and then I want to tell everyone about it or figure out ways to use it again and again. I’m pretty sure normal people aren’t delighted by words like I am, but I’m pretty sure you guys are riding this nerd train with me, aren’t you? And now you know all my uncool secrets. We’re obviously best friends, there’s no getting around it.

Anyways! Here are some of my latest reasons for totally nerding out:

Wackadoo – I’ve been using this for a while now but it still cracks me up.Totes M’Goats – Absolutely the most ridiculous phrase known to man. As seen in the motion picture “I Love You Man.” and Yes, I actually say this outloud. But with irony… always with irony… right?I would claw through steel to get to cock – A lady friend, who shall remain nameless lest your head explode with the awesome, said this to me a few weeks ago while explaining something totally in context and I died… and then was reborn… and died again because that is how badass it is. I have not used this yet, but I will, and that day will be glorious.Went a little off the rails – RevancheGS said this on twitter the other day and I fell in love immediately. I will definitely be using this to describe things that are a bit cooky or that when something goes amiss. Love.And not a single fuck was given – Thank you to the Reddit community for making me laugh so much and for giving me this phrase. There is the most perfect video to accompany it, that I will definitely show you sometime soon. I love when things go shockingly proper or shockingly improper. It’s the best.Luminary – I realize this is just a vocab word, but I love it! Especially for the holiday season. “Oh those are lovely luminaries over there.” or “You know what this could use? A good ‘ol LUMINARY!” Try it, you’ll become an addict.Rump – I think we’re all a little over the term “badonk-adonk” and I think rump is the lesser used but better sounding and better descriptive older great aunt of the badon-adonk phenom. I’m working on bringing it back. (Also useful terminology = rump roast. It’s a giggle inducer ever time it’s used correctly… meaning totally incorrectly and with sass.)

I think I’ll just call that done for now, I can’t give away all my tricks – what if I run into you at a party? How will I win you over with my astonishing grasp of the english language? But while we’re sharing all of my secrets – tell me some of yours. What are the words and phrases we’re craftily sneaking into conversations? I obviously could use some new material.

AAaaaaahahahahah this made me laugh so hard. THAT is the one phrase that Im using. Anything combined with “so hard” – mostly when it doesnt make sense to have the word or phrase be “hard”. Its quite hilarious, but I definitely don’t think I’m the first or only person to use this 🙂

Also – not a single fuck was given! LOVE this

ps: Holy macerole. I love that its old school. And reminds me of macncheese. and old people.

One that I started using out of its original context and cracks me up every. single. time. is ‘kibosh.’ As in, “…then we put the kibosh on that idea.” Only I say it as though it’s a martial art kind of sound without any context: Kibosh! In fact, I’d hatched a plot to make up a backstory for kibosh as martial art & post it on Wikipedia. And now that I see it all typed out, I understand why my husband rolls his eyes at me whenever I say it (which is often) (although he totally got on board with Operation: Wikipedia, which is basically why I married him.)

Oh Lauren, you definitely have to read some Julio Cortazar and what he had to say about words, how they were alive things, crawling around like ants and getting back at him. If you can read spanish, that would be ideal, but otherwise he has been translated.
And here is one for you, in spanish, that I love to just say: “de la importancia del agua en la vida de los peces” it is an alternative to the very famous “de la inmortalidad del cangrejo”. You use it when saying oh we were talking and rambling about nothing …. insert any of the above phrases here. The one about the fish is just my favorite .

We’re really into the Something McSomething joke. If one of us is being annoying, they are Buggy McBuggerson. We have now graduated to more and more elaborate ones: Sexy VonSexenburg, Duke Fatty deFattenstein…it goes on and on.

clusterfuck: (noun) a messy/terrible/complicated situation
skeeza: (noun) the kind of girl you would not trust around your little brother
boils my balls:… pretty self explanatory
I am a joy!: This is something I’ve been saying for a couple years in response to my husband’s exaggerated annoyance with my slightly ludicrous behavior.