Jesus – The First Palestinian Martyr?
Demonstrating their much vaunted respect for the religions of “The People Of The Book” Palestinians are today loudly proclaiming that Jesus was in fact the first Palestinian martyr. At the same time their leaders are denouncing the evidence which clearly states otherwise, as ‘Islamophobic.’ According to Palestinian Media Watch*, the PLA and Hamas leadership teams are acclaiming this new research as a tremendous break-through in their desire to bring together the two great religions, Islam and Christianity, united under the one (very black) religion of peace flag.

However, a prominent Middle East historian flatly contradicted the Palestinian activists’ research by saying that it is a historical fact that Jesus was a Judean, and the word ‘Palestine’ only came into existence 100 years after Jesus’ death. But a clearly incensed spokeswoman for the Palestinians, Shaemless Laihir, said between clenched teeth that “we’re hoping that historians will soon overcome this sick, racist kind of Islamophobia and accept our barefaced lies in the interests of creating a just and lasting solution for the Middle East.”

According to the same Palestinian spokesman, Christians also need to realise that the rule ‘Behead the Infidels,’ is the correct meaning behind Jesus’ declaration that ‘Blessed are the Peacemakers,’ and that “as a result, people should act accordingly,” she said. And Christians also need to know that the Koranic injunction to ‘Punish the unbelievers with garments of fire, hooked iron rods, boiling water to melt their skin and bellies**,’ replaces the highly ridiculous, old-fashioned plea to ‘Love Thy Neighbour.’

“This so-called Christian-love rule is extremely Islamophobic and goes against everything we stand for,” Laihir said. “The idea of loving thy neighbour was unanimously rejected by Muslim scholars 1500 years ago and has no place in today’s modern Islam,” she insisted.

“Most of those on the political Left and that idiot Scott Ludlum in the Greens in particular updated their texts to remove this Islamophobia late last century,” says Laihir. “It’s now up to the Christians themselves to adopt the correct Islamo-speak. Once this is done our crusade – whoops – I mean our conquest will soon be complete,” she said, as she smiled sweetly at the camera (see pic above).