It’s
about the weirdest apocalypse you could think of. One day, our planet may
become completely overgrown with… food. And the problem is: it could happen
a lot sooner than you held possible.

It will be some
end. Suddenly, there will be grain everywhere. Grain in the countryside. Grain
on the beaches. Grain shooting up along every road. In your backyard: grain.
Popping up from the cracks in sidewalks: more grain. Everywhere you look and
everywhere you go – grain, grain, grain. Now if that isn’t a green
revolution, what is?

Of course,
there’ll be plenty to eat. But there’s a drawback: bread will also be the
only thing around. The grain will overrun all other crops. Agriculture will be
disrupted. Forests and grasslands will be demolished. Slowly, the entire food
chain breaks down, as the face of the planet turns into an endless field of
waving grain.

Governments will
speak of the `Grain Problem’ and cook up plans to push the grain back. But
the grain won’t listen. Suddenly, mankind finds itself in trouble. Diseases
emerge, people go blind or develop brittle bones -- all because of the
one-sidedness of their diet.

And
then there are the side-effects. Every now and then, suffocating
grain dust tempests sweep over the planet. Incredible grain field fires
occasionally burn down a country or two. Entire continents dry up, as the
grain sips up all the water. The atmosphere, having to deal with the grain
dust, the smoke from the grain fires and the lack of water, will get messed
up. There may be an Ice Age, or even a kind of Nuclear
Winter. It isn’t very hard to see what it all boils down to. Humanity is
thrown back into the Stone Age – well, `Grain Age’ is a more accurate
word. So next time you have a slice of bread, just remember: one day, bread
could do us all in.

Sounds far-fetched?
Sorry, but it isn’t – not at all. The grain we’re dealing with here
isn’t just the next species of grain. We’re talking Super Grain here;
grain that is genetically modified. Already, there are hundreds of
genetically modified (GM) crops around. The idea is quite simple. Genes define
the properties of everything that grows and lives. So in genetic engineering, what you
basically do, is take a crop, add a gene here, take out a gene there – and
there you have it: a new species of grain, with some handy new properties.

Genetic
engineering is quite cool, really. You can make Super Maize that’s
resistant to certain diseases, so you don’t have to spray all those
polluting pesticides over them. You can create a new brand of Super Rice
that’s nutritious enough to feed even the poorest country. Heck, you can
even piece together a Super Apple that protects your teeth from rotting. Or a
Super Potato that survives frost. A Super Tomato that grows in salt water. If
you think that sounds too weird to be true, don’t look now: all these crops
already exist today!

Of course,
governments and genetic companies are cautious. You just DON’T want your new
breed of Super Crop to accidentally mix up with the common stuff. Genes pass
from one generation to the next. So if you mix up genetically modified crops
with common crops, in no time you’ll only have the GM species left – GM
crops having a huge evolutionary advantage over the ordinary stuff.

Still,
this `leaking’ of GM crops into normal nature is exactly what is happening
as we speak. In China, where there’s little government control over
GM farming, the so-called Golden Rice is rapidly replacing common rice. At the
moment we write this (March 2002), 5,5 million farmers worldwide grow GM
crops. In only four years time, the amount of farmland occupied by GM crops
has doubled, from 25 million hectares of farmland in 1998 to more than 50
million hectares in 2002. That’s an area the size of Italy!

Corn killers: Experimental GM crop fields are regularly
demolished by protesters. But there's a catch: on at least two
occasions, the protestors helped the GM plants escape into nature,
accidentally taking the seeds with them on their clothes and shoes.

Meanwhile, in the
West, every now and then an accident happens. In Canada, genetically altered
oilseed rape `escaped’ from the test fields into the countryside. Right now,
Super Oilseed Rape is shooting up everywhere in Canada. And in Mexico,
genetically altered Super Maize suddenly showed up in November 2001. This
really baffled everyone – Mexico has banned all GM farming years ago!

So, it only seems
reasonable to conclude that one day, most crops on the planet will be
genetically tinkered with in one way or the other. OK, so what, you may ask. As long as
it tastes good, there’s no need to worry, right?

Well
– there are these disturbing risks. One day soon, we may create a
true Super Crop that is utterly resistant to disease and pollution, and is
able to grow in literally every environment. A crop like that might take over
the countryside in no time – and start haunting us. Your beloved new crop will turn
out a pain in the ass, an ineradicable Super Weed. No deterrent will kill it,
no climate will stop it. There you have it: the Grain Problem. And of course,
we said `grain’ only for arguments sake. It could be soy, or maize, or rice.
Or raspberries, tomatoes, cucumber or lychees -- whatever you can think of.

Oh, and of course
it would be rather inconvenient if of all crops the Super
Crop that conquers the world turns out to be... cotton. What would we have to
eat? Cotton cookies, perhaps?

And
wait: what about `Contraceptive Corn’? In early 2002, the San
Diego-based biotech company Epicyte developed a new breed of GM corn that can
be used as a contraceptive. The corn kills the sperm cells of men that eat it,
rendering them infertile. Well, you just
DON’T want a crop like that to conquer the world. Humanity would be, er…
fucked. Within one or two generations, our species would no longer be there.

Paris, 2050?

And then there’s
the remote but rather unpleasant possibility that a GM crop suddenly brings
forth some kind of new killer virus or bacterium. No,
really! Toying around with a plant’s genes may accidentally `awaken’ an
inactive, old virus that lays buried deep within the plant’s DNA. Just picture that: cheerfully, you go out to harvest your brand
new GM crop, but when you get back, your skin has suddenly turned blue with
pink dots, due to some incredibly weird and exotic new disease.

Just imagine what a
bummer that would be. Finally, we’ve created a crop that is so totally
perfect that you can grow it anywhere you like. Well – except you can’t
eat it, it’s growing all over the place, and it makes you ill or infertile.
It would be the biggest joke in history. And, probably, the last.