Peter: You got Legos? Aw, sweet! Lois only buys me Mega Bloks.Lois: They're the same thing, Peter.Peter: You know what, Lois? They are not the same thing. And the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the sooner we can get this marriage back on track.

Quagmire: Hey, hey, hey, hey that's a stroke!Peter: I just tapped my ball, Quagmire. Relax.Quagmire: Oh relax, huh? Look, I just tapped my ball. Oh, just tapped it again. Tap, tap, tap...oh where is it? It's in the hole. Eagle. Yay Quagmire!(Quagmire bends his putter across his knee and throws it against the cart)Joe: Hey Quagmire, you know it's not fun when you're like this.Quagmire: You want fun? Go home and buy a monkey!Cleveland: What does that even mean?Quagmire: I don't know. (voice drops to normal) Boy, we've got a beautiful day for this.