When Parents Behave Badly: The Challenging Reality of Mindfulness.

Sometimes challenging ourselves to remain mindful can come at the most unexpected of times and situations.

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs you will ever have! I never understood that statement until I became one.

The moments where you want to rip your hair out because your children are driving you batty, are met with loving moments that melt your heart. At any given time, if your child were in danger or the target of foul behavior, you are willing to go full tilt mama bear for them in an instant.

Raising small humans is like taking your heart and tattooing it to the side of your arm for the world to see. It makes you extremely vulnerable.

Since becoming a mother, I have realized that my tears are far more powerful and meaningful, as they now take on the pain of two little people. The joy. The pain. The celebrations. The milestones. The moments we are challenged to teach them important life lessons.

I have always been one to stand up for what I believe, particularly if I see a group of people or persons being marginalized. I tend to want to protect and come to their defense. I am horrible at sugar-coating and simply say it how it is, with little or no filter.

It is an interesting line to walk as a parent.

How do you show your children it is okay to stand up for what you believe in, while maintaining your composure and not sinking to a level that is unbecoming?

Strength in the heat of the moment met with the intention of setting a good example.

I was challenged with this predicament over the weekend, at a kid’s soccer game of all places.

4-6 year olds being taunted and heckled by the other team. But, not by the kids on the other team! The insults were slinging from the parents standing on the sideline.

The behavior was appalling.

It got personal for me when one of them yelled at my children, “that’s not how we play soccer in this country.”

It took everything in me not to march my way across the field and go face to face with every single parent standing on that sideline. I wanted to tell them what an embarrassing collection of wankers (thank you Australia, I love this word) they were for acting in such a manner, particularly in front of children.

I refrained.

I knew my own children were watching and that wasn’t the example I wanted to set for them. Reacting would solve nothing and would later leave me with regret for exhibiting that type of behavior.

I believe my own mother used to call it, “sinking to their level.” I knew I didn’t want to do that!

As we left, I feared one of the parents would confront me on our way out and sling some more insults about “not being from here.” I can hold my own. I was more worried about what my children might see should that happen.

We later found out, after the coach called the league to report the behavior, this team has numerous complaints against them, which included the parents spitting at other coaches and referees from the sidelines.

Parents!!

The people who are entrusted to raise small humans to be decent and contributing members of society conducting themselves that way!

After a lot of deep breathing and snuggles with our kids, I found myself thankful for self-awareness and the ability to simply walk away.

A lesson we likely passed on to our children that day.

Of course, later that evening after they were sleeping, my husband and I laughed among ourselves and joked, “I bet they like Trump.” It has become our mantra for anyone exhibiting reckless, childish, or selfish behavior. Sometimes you just need to laugh and not take yourself so seriously. And really, a simple statement that says it all!!

Mindfulness can be challenging. Maybe it is stress at work. Frustrations mounting because you are going through a difficult stage with your children. The ridiculous behavior of adults at a youth soccer match.

Whatever the case, challenge yourself this week to remain self-aware and to rise above difficult situations. Keep your light shining, even when the world around you is trying to blow that fucker out!