Turtle, verb: To withdraw and and shrink, like a turtle hiding in its shell.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Listen

When someone speaks, or types, or flaps their hands, listen. When someone tells you what they need to get through the day, or when someone tells you that they can't handle what is happening, then listen. When someone tells you that they don't mind who they are, that they actually are rather happy, then listen. When someone asks for acceptance, please, listen.

How many times do these things need to be said? Shouldn't it be straightforward for someone to say "Hey, I rather like who I am" and to have people take this seriously. Or to have someone say "maybe it'd be easier for both of us if you just play the music quieter", and for people to do this.

Wouldn't it make sense for people to be able to have thoughts about themselves?
And wouldn't it make sense to pay attention to all the communication, whether or not it is spoken?

I don't know, it seems straightforward to me. But, it seems that people don't know how to listen.

It seems that they don't know what is around to hear and what is around not to. That there is communication outside speech seems to be a challenge to understand, and learning how to read it takes time; yet at the same time there is an expectation of normal social cues. That there are voices speaking out saying "please, listen to me, I want to speak about my own disorder", is lost, and they don't find them or hear them; and when the few get through, its drowned out in their expectations of what they already understand to be their truth.

So maybe, its a process, and maybe its the first step. Learning to listen.
So, that's what I ask. Can you try to do that? Learn how to listen.
And then, listen to people who are autistic.
What do they say?
It won't all be agreement.
It won't all be the same.
But there will be people talking out about themselves, what they like, what they don't like, what they want, and how they feel. And they should be listened to.

Myself?
I want to be able to be me without feeling like I'm fighting people every day by existing.
I want people to notice when I need help, and offer it.
I want to be respected, rather than spoken over because of who I am.
I want to thrive.
And I want to find my way in the world.