21 Jump Street Is Obsessed With Penises

March 16, 2012

At one crucial point in the new action comedy — based on the old TV show — a guy gets shot in the crotch, his noodle falls off, and he picks it up in his mouth!

It’s straight out of John Waters.

And there’s plenty of genital stuff before that, too.

Channing Tatum malapropically tells a criminal, “I’ll beat your dick off with both hands!” He tells another one, “You’ve got the right to … suck my dick, motherfucker.”

Jonah Hill tells his boss about their new undercover gig, “If I have to suck somebody’s dick, I will. It’s just I prefer not to.”

When the two stars are in a car and Hill is trying to hide, Tatum tells him to pretend to go down on him. “Why me?” asks Hill. “Because you’re the one in a Peter Pan costume,” replies Tatum. (A long story — but the drama teacher does make a remark about Hill having “a little Peter” in him.)

When the two are in the bathroom, putting their fingers in each other’s mouths (another long story), Tatum urges, “Just stick it in! What are you — looking for my G spot?” The janitor overhears all that and looks horrified.