That’s Outrageous! Funny Numbers

Reader's Digest EditorsAug 25

Count on these true, outrageous news stories to give you a laugh.

Nishant Choksi for Reader’s Digest

700: The number of church-bell tolls a Rhode Island man had to endure in one week, which put him in a bad mood and contributed to the demise of his marriage, according to his lawsuit against said church.Source: The Week

1, 3, 5, 7, 9 … : The odd-numbered seats that a man in China—recently split from his girlfriend—bought last Valentine’s Day to make sure couples could not sit together at a movie theater.Source: web.orange.co.uk

29,305: The number of texts—constituting the entire works of William Shakespeare—sent by a British man to a video game seller who had ripped him off. The thief’s phone beeped nonstop for a week.Source: The Bristol Post

73: The percentage of the vote that the government of Azerbaijan stated the president had received during the past election. Note: The results were accidentally leaked a day before anyone voted.Source: huffingtonpost.com

419.99: The mile marker Colorado put on Interstate 70 after the old one­—420, which is linked to marijuana—kept being stolen.Source: newser.com

78: The number of antiriot vehicles bought by German police. During a public exhibition, one of the 33-ton vehicles—which was advertised as withstanding bricks, stones, and Molotov cocktails—was damaged by tennis balls, eggs, and plastic bottles filled with water.Source: The Daily Mail

1,089,920: The amount in dollars lost when a member of the cleaning staff at a German museum mistook a piece of art for garbage and threw it out.Source: The Guardian

911: The number called by a Texas woman requesting that someone bring her cigarettes.Source: nbcdfw.com

4,500,000,000: The divorce judgment in dollars against Russian billionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev.Source: The New York Daily News