Welcome to Toronto Sun Cover Reviews, a blog on which I post daily reviews of Toronto Sun covers.

Monday, May 3, 2010

3 May 2010

Front and centre: It's always a good day when buses make front page news. And what a nice, big pair of buses we have today, my friend! I'd definitely like to ride them at night. Can you imagine sitting down inside one of them? Just travelling around, chatting with your fellow passengers, dreaming of a better world? It would be a filthy dream come true.

The Sun is angry that the TTC spent a bunch of money installing bike racks on buses. "I can't attach my car to a bus. Why should these Lance Armstrongs be allowed to attach their queer bikes?"

The top of it: Students from Uxbridge have travelled to Ypres, Belgium in red jackets to see where their relatives died in the World Wars. This is actually how the article about them begins:

"Yep, Ypres. Eeps. Yepper. Yipers. Wipers. Yeepers. Creepers."

And the Pulitzer goes to....

Also: it's the $20.6 Million Couple, a pair of cyborgs created by the military to be different sizes.

Bottom: "It's who we are... We're Bistrodeli." I can't believe that Country Style is using Nirvana lyrics in something as crass as an advertising campaign. For shame.

Summary: If you turn off all the lights, stare into the bathroom mirror and say the phrase "bus bust" ten times in a row, the editor of the Toronto Sun will appear in the mirror and denounce you.

Why?

The Toronto Sun is the city of Toronto's most reactionary/hilarious newspaper, with a broad readership that includes everyone from old men who wear track pants and fish in the Don River to young women with Support Our Troops tramp stamps.