Hi, everyone!This blog post is a bit off topic for me {and a pinch long}, being that I generally discuss subjects relating to hosting and attending events. However, I have observed recently that more and more peers are taking on the role of a dog-mom as they exit their last couple years of college and transition into the "real world". A role that I have become accustomed to for the past 3 years. I've also been asked quite a few times about Oliver specifically and any tips that I can offer about owning a dog while still being so young in age. When friends or family members ask for my personal opinion on whether or not they should buy a dog with their partner, of course I'm always leaning toward an answer of "absolutely". After all, it is an incredibly beautiful and rewarding experience. But, let me preface this post by saying that, although I'd like to pretend that it is, owning a puppy at a young age with a partner is not entirely a "walk in the park".

Sam and I have expressed many times that, looking back, it was by far one of the toughest tests we've placed on our relationship thus far. Let me explain. When my brilliant and warm-hearted Uncle suddenly passed away a few years ago, he left each of us with a small sum of money and a handwritten note explaining that we should spend it on something that would make us happy. Happy, I thought. What could possibly make me "happy" when I had just lost someone forever that has played such an instrumental role in my life. After awhile I thought that maybe we'd travel somewhere together or buy a "special" material thing and that would ultimately make me "happy". How incredibly wrong could I have been? Because if I had spent the money on something like that, I may have just missed out on the most life-changing experience that I would encounter in my 20's. I can't possibly think of a single thing that I could have purchased that would have brought more joy into my life and would have honored my Uncle Pete more than getting Oliver.

So, the story goes. Sam and I decided, quite abruptly I might add, that we wanted to buy a puppy together in my third semester of college. I'll start off by telling you that we did not live together at the time, had little-to-no money, and had only been dating less than 1 year. We were bold. We truly thought, "what could go wrong?" We both love dogs, always had them as family pets, and we naively thought that it would be the same experience.

Reminiscing now, we giggle at the thought, but when we decided to purchase Oliver and drove over 16 hours in a single day to pick him up from South Carolina, we didn't even remember to buy dog food...or a bed, food bowls, training books, or even a leash or collar for that matter. One day it was just a regular ole' Tuesday and the next day, boom, we were solely responsible for this amazing creature. Needless to say, we had no clue what we were getting ourselves into. The funniest image I have of us that day was realizing we had no dog food for him about 6 hours from home and Sam chewing up a couple of Chick-fila nuggets to feed to him. We didn't realize what a huge part this tiny 4-lb animal would play in our relationship and our individual lives from that point on. We didn't realize that he would be solely relying upon us like a child. Were we ready for a child? Oliver couldn't even walk or eat solid food at the time that we picked him up to take home.

During the first month it was particularly difficult because he was so little. There were many nights that I laid on the cold, wood floor with him while he cried for hours on end and we would still wake at 5am that next morning and head into a full day of work. We finally understood that, not only would we be worrying about college finals, work, money and our broken-down cars, but now, we would also have a small animal on the very top of that list of priorities. During the first month, Oliver got severely bitten by a dog in the face, got fleas and mites, and had two surgeries several hours away. That's the big difference about having a family dog vs. a dog that you are solely responsible for.

Being a dog mom means that you don't get to pass off your problems to someone else, you don't get the choice of paying for a surgery or not paying for a surgery. You take on that financial and emotional stress 24/7 all of a sudden and you eat the rice and beans you can barely pay for. You work those extra hours and come home and lie on the cold, wood floor because you are absolutely in love with this tiny, helpless creature and he/she depends on you 100 percent and not anyone else. All of that being said, as difficult as being a dog mom is in the very beginning, I've found that it comes back to you 200-fold. The love and the bond that you create with your little pooch and the life experience that you get out of it is unlike any other and worth every single moment of struggle.

What we've come to realize in the past 3 years since we picked Oliver up that day in South Carolina is that, although he has been the toughest part of our relationship thus far, he has also been the best and has made us the strongest. We have gained the knowledge each and every day of what an amazing and rewarding and naïve thing it was to purchase a puppy in our 20's. Knowing now all that we've grown as a couple in the past 3 years, I can't imagine how very different our relationship would be without Oliver by our side. I swear that we look at him at night when he falls asleep and is snoring his innocent puppy snores and we know without a doubt that he was the best decision we've both ever made in our 20 years. I look at him with tears of happiness in my eyes some nights in the way that I would imagine a mother looks at her child and think "how can we possibly have gotten this lucky?"

This experience has taught us that, as a couple, we are not anywhere close to being ready for a child in our lives {which is a good thing}. We can appreciate that Oliver will never look us in the eyes and say the words, "I hate you", or "You're so mean" or "I'm moving out". We can acknowledge that leaving a dog at home to run out for a quick dinner together and leaving a child at home for a quick dinner together are two totally separate experiences. Being a dog mom gave me the chance to appreciate the time we get to spend together as a couple before a little human demands our 24/7 attention. Observing the way that Sam interacts with Oliver each day, I've been exposed to a completely different side of my partner and it has been made crystal-clear to me that, when we are ready for children, he is going to make the most incredible dad.

So, so what if he shattered your crystal bowl by knocking it off the table when you had guests over, or doesn't pay attention in obedience school like the rest of the dogs, or peed on your brand new Anthropologie rug because you had to work late? Who cares if he begs for the last bite of your filet mignon or won't sit still for your Christmas card photo? How can you blame something that's taught you more about unconditional love, selflessness, patience, and responsibility than any person ever could? The struggles you face when becoming a dog mom are so, so microscopic when compared to the rewards. The distant memory of eating not-nearly-enough food and clipping coupons at 2am in order to save for his surgeries are so insignificant when you've had the shittiest day at work and walk in that front door to see the most excited and loving face you've ever witnessed in your life. I've read a lot of articles that tell you only the positives of raising a puppy with your partner and, honestly, I can't even blame them. Maybe they didn't tell you how difficult it was in the beginning, maybe they forgot all of the sleepless nights and the heated arguments, because when they look down in their lap and see the furry family member that loves them day in and day out, all they can possibly recall are the beautifully, innocent puppy snores in their ear.

So, yes maybe it was a crazy, irresponsible thing that we did to buy a puppy together being so young but, would I do it all over again, every single heartbreaking and incredible moment? Absolutely.

That was very well written Anna.Loved the subject
.You and Sam fit well together.Yoy both will be great parents when the time comes

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Laura

1/13/2015 09:24:06 am

This world needs more people like you and Sam.

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Nancy Greer

1/15/2015 09:48:27 am

That is a great story & made me smile. My dog Trapper is a shar pei/lab and looks like a lab with a shar pei head. Being a dog mom is the best thing in the world as is being a cat mom! There is nothing better or more wonderful than the unconditional love & acceptance you get from your 4 legged fur children.

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