What came first, the Alien or the face-hugger egg? What was the Alien Queen like as a teenager? How do those guys build such complex, Swedish surrealist interiors to their cave homes? Answers may be on the way. From IESB:

[Fox co-chairman] Rothman said of the possible [Alien prequel] film, "There's been some talk. Ridley Scott, Ridley is right now working on Robin Hood, but I think he's toying with the idea and that would be great for us. I mean, it's always been a matter of, really, if you can get the originator to do it that would be the greatest thing, so I've got my fingers crossed, all of them."

My prediction: Alien Zero (the zero is represented by an alien egg), starring Christian Bale. It ends with Bale and his pregnant wife narrowly escaping from planet LV-426 in a small shuttle pod, the two vowing to never again speak of all those crazy aliens they just fought. Suddenly, the wife grabs at her stomach. An alien spawn? No--it's the standard baby. It's time. Bale smiles.

Researchers say they've come across two planets that resemble Earth, one of which may be able to support life.

April 22, 2009 - The real estate market nowadays is in the toilet, which is bad for current homeowners who are watching their home equity take a dump, but good for potential buyers. However, I'm not sure I'm ready to invest in Earth property anymore, I think it's time to think outside the box and outside the solar system. Luckily, according to a new find by astronomers on Tuesday, my habitable planetary options may be expanding.

European researchers in search of Earth-like planets have come across two that they say look awfully a lot like our rock. One of the planets, named Gliese 581 e, is the smallest exoplanet ever discovered thus far, coming in at 1.9 times the size of Earth. By comparison, the vast majority of planets outside our solar system are larger than Jupiter. The other planet, Gliese 581 d, is far larger, but resides in the prime habitable zone where potential life could exist, while Gliese 581 e sits too close to its nearest star, making it a tad too hot to currently support life.

"The Holy Grail of current exoplanet research is the detection of a rocky, Earth-like planet in the 'habitable zone,'" said Michel Mayor, an astrophysicist at Geneva University in Switzerland.

Astronomers believe that Gliese 581 d, which was first discovered in 2007, exists in a region near a sun-like star that would allow for water to form on the planetary surface, and one researcher, Stephane Udry, believes that a "large and deep" ocean might already be there. "It is the first serious 'water-world' candidate," Udry said.

Another planet hunter, Geoff Marcy of the University of California, Berkeley, says that the discovery "shows that nature makes such small planets, probably in large numbers." He continued: "Surely the galaxy contains tens of billions of planets like the small, Earth-mass one announced here."

Personally, my bags are already packed and I'm ready for 20 ? light year journey it'll take to get there. Unfortunately, I can only afford to take the bus. Do you believe there are other planets out there that can support life? Share your comments below.

LOS ANGELES—In the largest deal ever made to shit out a movie, Warner Bros. and director Michael Bay announced a landmark $50 million agreement this week to monumentally fuck up ThunderCats.

Michael Bay

"I couldn't be more excited to completely fuck this up," said Bay, who plans to begin production on destroying the live-action adaptation next month. "ThunderCats has a great story, endearing characters, action, adventure, space-travel, and fantasy. It will be an honor to run it into the ground.""I'll use every directorial tool I have to suck the very life and charm out of this beloved cartoon," added Bay, claiming that the film could turn out to be the most colossal piece of shit he's ever worked on. "I won't rest until I get every last scene exactly wrong."

According to executives, Warner Bros. settled on Bay after a 12-month search of Hollywood's most reviled directors, including Joel Schumacher, Roland Emmerich, and Brett Ratner. In the end, the studio decided only Bay could be relied upon to deliver a 220-minute cinematic clusterfuck with enough tedious performances, overblown cinematography, and CGI explosions to make even the most casual fan want to scratch their eyes out.

"No filmmaker working today has Bay's ability to somehow direct his actors to be both emotionless and melodramatic at once," Warner Bros. CEO Barry Meyer said. "And I personally can't wait to see how he needlessly overcomplicates the plot."

Bay reportedly only agreed to fuck up ThunderCats after several specific conditions were written into his contract. According to the terms of the deal, Bay must be allowed to eliminate the character Panthro entirely to focus on the asinine relationship between Snarf and Snarfer, and include nearly 22 minutes of frenetic, impossible-to-follow action sequences that he hopes will annoy the living Christ out of audiences.

"We're just getting started on the storyboards, but I've already got a lot of really contrived ideas about zooming in way too close and shooting everything at nauseating angles," said Bay, who claimed viewers won't be able to tell if the climactic final battle is between two blurry elbows or a half dozen leopard-print pillows. "I promise you'll walk out of the theater feeling like you just flushed $12 down the toilet."

"You will all fucking hate me," he continued.

Hollywood insiders agreed that Bay—who has reportedly been closely involved in each of the 45 progressively worse rewrites of the script—was a natural choice to take a steaming dump on the popular ThunderCats property.

"Michael Bay has this innate sense of how to ruin a great story," Variety reporter Todd Brick said. "His ability to create astonishing plot holes, pepper dialogue with groan-inducing clichés, and abandon storylines halfway through is unparalleled. He was born to destroy this movie."

Though he admitted there was still "a lot of fucking up to do" before the script attains his trademark shit-slicked sheen, Bay has recruited hack writers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci to punch-up the screenplay with hollow characters and by-the-numbers jokes about kitty litter boxes and hair balls.

But all the time and effort, Bay claimed, is worth it to ensure that he fucks ThunderCats up as badly as he knows he can.

"Ever since I failed to ruin Scarlett Johansson's career with The Island, I've been looking for a challenge like this," Bay said. "Who knows? With Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and ThunderCats coming out in the same year, I may finally reach my goal of making all of America hate cinema forever."

April 03, 2009

Note: This mission is fake and was staged for April Fool's Day 2009. Everyone in the video is an actor, including the "family." Lots of people got fooled and offended and posted comments on YouTube, check them out here.