6 YEAR-OLD WITH DEPRESSION? IS IT POSSIBLE?

Hi,
I feel a bit weird even saying this but I am starting to think my younger son might be suffering from depression. He has just turned 6 and increasingly lately he is in tears- literally six or seven times during the periods I see him (pre and post school and even at weekends). When I ask him why he is crying he says things like "I hate my life" and "Everything is too hard". He seems to find learning quite difficult although at parents' evening last week his teacher said he was doing ok and is actually ahead of his age in some areas. (It is quite a high-achieving school though and I do wonder what pressure the kids are put under?)She also said that sometimes his behaviour is 'strange' and she finds him difficult to get to know. Often my husband and I have said we don't feel we really 'know' him. He isn't as open with his feelings as his older brother. I do remember in the past that he would say some really upsetting things like he was going to jump off the roof or through the window. This was always after being told off for something and he does seem to take any criticism very hard.
As a little boy though, he was generally a very happy little soul, very sweet and loving and quite an 'easy' child. I think things have gradually changed since he started school. He does have some lovely friends at school though, and gets invited for tea etc. so I don't think there are any problems with the other children. i am starting to think I should see my GP but would really appreciate any advice or help with this as it is really upsetting me.

It must break your heart to hear your son say that he hates his life and such things. Have you tried talking to to him one to one about it, or mabey take him out just you and him (or daddy and him), somewhere he'd love to go and perhaps you could coax him out of his shell a little so you can talk to him?
No sign of anything like bullying at school or anything like that?
Def, go and see your gp, perhaps this is not so unusual to them and know how to help him.
Im sorry I have no proper advice hun, but I send you a big supportive hug.
xxx

hi it is possible for children to get a confused view of things, especially if the school puts pressure on them. Do you know how the teachers approach something he has got wrong, sometimes there is no sensitivity, and do they praise him when he's right or do they forget that?
it is possible for children to feel pressure from bad communication - i don't mean you and hubby but the school.
i've just been reading on aol about the cousin of mick hucknal who killed himself at 10 years old, please don't panic, but ask the school about the way they communicate and see your GP, ask about private help if the waiting list is too long. its probably £100-150 for a consultation but if you can afford it and it saves a long waiting list might be worth checking out, at least get 1 appt quickly.
where is he getting the ideas from about jumping through the window etc, friends older siblings, trailers on tv? can he understand that some things are stories etc, differentiate fact from fiction? does he say these things at other houses?

i cant give you any other help,i'm sorry, but please don't leave it, my son is 11 and says things in anger but that is enough to worry me, at 6 he shouldn't have these worries, life should be fun.
i'm not keen on tablets and medication though thats up to you, you need to find where this is coming from and remove that if its outside influence
good luck

Hi hun Forst of all big hugs to u,
Secondly my partner is a youth worker and works with a five year old young boy who at first was thought he had ADHD, he cried constantly and it wasn't until an episode he had in the youth club he started sobbing saying he hated his life and he wished he wasn't born, his mum took him to the doctors and they referred him to a child physiologist, turns out he had depression, I hope you get it sorted that must be so awful for u and ur wee boy, xx

I suffered with depression when I was 7 years old. I did not really cry, or at least I did not let anyone know I was crying. I became extremely introverted. I wouldn't talk to anyone and wouldn't eat. I felt completely void of all feelings, both good and bad.

I was taken to the doctor and was given tablets to take. I was also taken out of school for a while. There was a big reason behind it, which was due to my parents splitting up and divorcing. We had lived in Ireland and my mother, being English brought me back to England when they split. I hardly saw my father again and my mother was not a good parent. It did literally rip my heart in pieces when I lost my father, the pain was way too much for a child to handle, I coped by shutting down.

Your little boy is expressing his emotions by crying, which is much better than giving up and shutting down. He may just be really sensitive and struggling to cope with a hectic school life. Though saying he doesn't like his life is a concern but again, he may mean he doesn't like school life.

My advice would be to contact the doctor - without your son in earshot initially, as I can still remember my mother talking to the doctor about me as if I wasn't there and it hurt me to hear how distressed she was and I felt as though they were talking about me as if there was something wrong with me, which I suppose there was, but it hurt my feelings to hear them talk about me all the same.

I would consider having him evaluated by a psychologist. I did this with my 6 yr old when he began to hate school and mentioned killing himself. Turns out he was gifted and extremely bored at school and as a very intelligent 6 yr old he was hearing and understanding information intellectually but couldn't process it emotionally. Psychologist said this was much more common than people knew, even teachers. He was obsessive and easily frustrated because his imagination was outstripping his physical abilities. Be aware that teachers sometimes withhold information because they don't want to put pressure on the child or deal with parents with higher expectations or go through the hoops required to intellectually stimulate gifted children.

Echoing what others have said, it is certainly possible for a child to be depressed. I don't know whether I was clinically depressed myself when I was young, but those years were certainly the worst of my life and I remember thinking to myself bitterly when people said I should enjoy myself and these were the best days of my life, "what, you mean THIS is as good as it gets? not much to look forward to in life then!!"

Fortunately everything improved immensely for me later on, as soon as I left school really. I hadn't liked the social environment there and I found the work very dull. I hadn't realised how much I disliked it until I'd left and my life became happier. Before that, I had thought something was wrong with me and it must be my own fault I wasn't happy. I shudder when I think of the short 6-week summer holidays children get here: where I lived we had 2 1/2 months which was just about enough time to let me actually let go of my problems and relax for a while. I don't know how I could have coped without ever getting a proper long break from school. Here, the back to school sales start before school even breaks up!!

If you think the problem is related to school and the pressure your little boy is under there, have you considered taking him out for a while to home educate him and see how he gets on with that? Many kids find school stressful for one reason or another and are transformed once they leave. Relationships with parents can improve too as they spend so much more time with you that it becomes easier to know them. This is something the parents of teens often notice. Often it is hard to get to the bottom of exactly how they feel until the daily misery is over and the contrast with a different way of life becomes clear. If you think it could be related to perfectionism and performance pressure, you could try having him do no formal "work" at all while out of school but instead read to him, play with him, and take him to museums and other interesting places he would like. If you aren't sure whether this is the right thing in the long run, you could still give it a go until September and then see what you think about sending him back to school. Meanwhile, do lots of fun things with him. If he enjoys the company of his schoolfriends you can keep in contact with them and get together for playdates after school. Think of this time as having a break from school and taking the opportunity to address your son's depression.

Good luck with it. It must be awful having a child who is so unhappy when you don't know what you can do about it. I hope you find a way to help him.

yes it is entirely possible. my son who is now 13, started suffering from depression and OCD at the age of 6 shortly after his dad left and it lasted for a couple of years but there is lots of help out there, you just need to ask.

It is heartbreaking to see them like that. As others have advised, definately go to your GP or speak with a health visitor for advice. I hope he feels better soon xx

hi

Hiya i have a friend with asbergers you wouldnt know it if you talked to him.Well he is extremley intelligent but socialy arwquad has a brighliant mind can talk to people but finds it hard to connect with people .Some people who are of a higher intellagence get depressed more easyly.Mayb just gifted and thinks too much of the world around him =)