Random WTF Lyrics #21

Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I select six random bad lyrics from six random songs. Let’s get started.

Father Stretch My Hands Pt 1-Kanye West

I have to say: I’m enjoying The Life Of Pablo. Sure, it’s not perfect and there are some songs I don’t care for, but these beats are on point. Pardon me while I jam out to this album.

Now if I fuck this modelAnd she just bleached her assholeAnd I get bleach on my T-shirtI’mma feel like an asshole

Oh, come on, Kanye. I did not need to hear about bleached buttholes. Eww. Thanks a lot. You just ruined it all. Next song.

Highlights-Kanye West

And after that night I’m gon’ wanna play shit back, I don’t knowSometimes I’m wishin’ that my dick had GoProSo I could play that shit back in slo-moI just shot an amateur video; I think I should go pro

Why would you put a Go-Pro on your penis while you’re having sex? You know that’s not gonna be comfortable for both of you and you know it’s gonna get in the way of… penetration. How did you think that scenario was gonna go?

man: Hey, baby. Ready to have fun.

*takes off robe*

woman: OH, MY GOD!! WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR DICK?!

man: It’s a Go-Pro.

woman: You are NOT sticking that inside me!!

man: Come on. You never know until you try.

woman: No!! I’m going to sleep.

Work From Home-Fifth Harmony ft Ty Dolla $ign

I ain’t worried ’bout nothin’I ain’t wearin’ na nadaI’m sittin’ pretty, impatient, but I know you gottaPut in them hours, I’mma make it harderI’m sending pic after picture, I’mma get you fired

So you’re willing to get your boyfriend fired, thus, making him lose any ability to make steady income and probably lose his home, just because you wanted some nookie. Well, I hope unemployment was worth it.

Infinity-Mariah Carey

There’s an end to infinityTo infinity

No, there isn’t. That kinda defeats the purpose of infinity. Infinity is forever and ongoing, meaning there is no end in sight. Mariah, do you ever read some of the stuff you’re given to make?

(I Wanna Be) Your Underwear-Bryan Adams

You know you’re in for something not good when even the title of the song gives you unlimited amounts of creep. So, Bryan Adams. You want to be a pair of clothing that covers the genitals and ass, that would be subjected to stains from waste,… and natural lubrica-

I wanna be your t-shirt when it’s wet – wanna be the shower when you sweat I gotta to be the tattoo on your skin – ya lemme be your bed baby – when you climb in I wanna be the sheets when you sleep – lemme be the secrets that you keep I gotta be the spoon – ta stir your cream I wanna to be the one that really makes you scream I wanna be – your lipstick when ya lick it I wanna be – your high heels when ya kick it I wanna be – your sweet love babe – ya when you make itFrom your feet up to your hair – more than anything I swear

You’re dumb rich? Huh. I couldn’t tell. I mean, it’s like you’ve never made any songs talking about how rich you are.

Tell my mom I love her if I do not make it, do not make itGot so many chains they call me Chaining TatumThey do, they do

Okay. Let’s pretend that this wasn’t a sloppy, poorly put-together punchline that has no build-up. Let’s pretend that “make it” somehow rhymes with “Tatum.” Hell, let’s even pretend for a moment that this wasn’t the stupidest thing Drake has ever said on record. Tell me ONE good thing about this line. JUST. ONE. Time’s up; you can’t. This has to be the most incompetent half-baked thought of a punchline. Got so many chains, they call me Chaining Tatum? It’s like this dude is just asking to be slapped with those play on words and it has nothing to do with the previous line. I know, it’s a brag song made for the clubs, but have some cohesion with what you’re talking about. And the worst part is that we let this happen. People gave Aubrey so much love and acclaim that it’s gotten to him. The more successful he becomes, the lazier his music gets and lines like this become more and more present. Pretty soon, you’ll get lines like, “got so many bitches, call me Ceasar Milli-an.”