It seems so long ago that the Browns had convincingly beaten the rival Bengals to improve to 2-2 with the help of Brian Hoyer (The Destroyer). Now, Hoyer's out for the season, Brandon Weeden has his old job back by default, and Jeff Garcia's offering his services. Wait, really?

Before you laugh, recall just how bad Weeden's been in five games this season. He's completed 52.8% of his passes, second-worst out of 33 quarterbacks. He averages 5.92 yards per completion attempt, third-worst out of 33 quarterbacks. Weeden's pocket presence is nonexistent, and his accuracy is trash. And since the best available running backs are Willis McGahee and Chris Ogbonnaya, who's really more of a fullback, there is no running game to turn to.

Advertisement

Advertisement

According to Football Outsiders, Weeden is the second-worst quarterback out of all QBs that have played at least 50 snaps this season. His DYAR—Defense-adjusted Yards Above Replacement, used to determine the value of a player—is -237. For some context, the average Andy Dalton has a DYAR of 97.

OK, so the 43-year-old Garcia—who once had a QB rating of zero with the Browns in 2004—clearly isn't a viable option. But Cleveland's current entire offensive strategy consists of hoping Weeden connects with Josh Gordon before it's fourth down. If Jason Campbell isn't worth starting, host the usual gang of mediocre quarterbacks to try out for a spot. Do something. Obviously, the Browns are looking ahead to the 2014 draft for a quarterback (and more), but they should at least pretend to rearrange the seats on the shipwreck that is their 2013 season so that Jeff Garcia doesn't publicly offer to play for them.