Menu

Monday, 15 June 2015

Day 71 #The100DayProject

The Long Lost Magna Carta...

WARNING: IF YOU OF A SERIOUS DISPOSITION DON'T READ and ITS ON THE LONG SIDE

#100daysofPeggy

The Fight for Freedom and Rights of Hedgehog-kind.

Here is the surviving piece of the Hedgehog Magna Carta that until now has been hidden away in the cage of The Great Wise and Learned Hedgehog. The rest is lost. Translated for your own education (and amusement) are the surviving points highlighted in this great work.

Claws 4.

The owner of the cage of an
heir who is of human species shall take from it only reasonable revenues,
customary dyes and feudal services. He shall do this without destruction or
damage to hedgehog or property.

Claws 5.

For as long as an owner has
ownership of said hedgehog. He shall maintain cage, wheel, litter tray,
replenish food and water bowl and everything else.

Claws 7.

At a mate’s death, a
hedgehog may have his food portion and cage toys at once and without a trouble.

Claws 8.

No hedgehog shall be
compelled to mate, so long as she wishes to remain celibate.

Claws 12.

Any domestically caged
hedgehog may pay no rent.

Claws 20.

For a trivial offence, a
wild hedgehog shall be reprimanded to the degree of his offence, and for a
serious offense correspondingly.

Claws 28.

No owner shall take meal worms or other movable goods (ie
wheel) from any hedgehog without immediate warning. If not done so, hedgehog
has right to huff and ball up in fury.

Claws 31.

No owner or other hedgehog
may take another hedgehog’s fleece for his own bed or any other purpose without
consent from hedgehog.

Claws 35.

There shall be standard
measures of mealworms, water and Dreamies throughout the kingdom.

Claws 39.

No free hedgehog shall we
bought or caged or stripped of his rights or wheel…except by the lawful
judgement of his breeders or by the law of the land.

Claws 41.

All hedgehogs must be
declared at customs to ensure ease and comfort when travelling outside of
England.