PMS post-childbirth

I haven’t blogged for months and months but as it’s a new year I thought I’d give it a try. I’ve loved sharing all things motherhood over on Instagram but sometimes there’s just more to say, so here I am on an old fashioned blog saying it. How quaint!

Before we get stuck in I’d like to warn any great uncles or old neighbours who still check my blog for life updates that this post is going to be full of period chat so if you’d rather not read on, I understand. Life is admittedly easier if you imagine periods to be a fun time of rollerblading and blue liquid.

In 2014, some of you may remember that I wrote two posts detailing my decision to come off the pill after more than ten years of taking it. They became two of my most read blog posts and I’ve received literally hundreds of messages from women sharing their similar experiences since. If they’re of interest you can find them here and here. A lot has changed since I wrote them; I’ve not used hormonal contraception since but I have popped out two babies, with a particularly efficient three minute age gap.

And that brings me to what I want to write about today: PMS and periods post-childbirth.

Having a baby undeniably changes a woman, it is just about the most all encompassing thing that can happen. A lot is written about the emotional side (rightly!) but I certainly hadn’t expected my body to take quite such a hammering in a physical sense. My new year’s resolution for 2019 is to address these physical changes that are still causing havoc 14 months on. (And why wouldn’t they? Given I’ve not allowed myself even half a chance to actually address them). But while I know physio will be able to strengthen my core as long as I bother to commit to doing the exercises, I have fears about how easily I can rectify the fact my periods have become pure hell.

I’m not sure if it’s because my womb had to be sliced open for me to meet my babies, but nothing feels “right” down there any more. Ovulation is painful. Menstruation is painful. My scar is painful. For a good half of each month, something in my abdomen is hurting.

Then there’s the stuff that makes the physical pain seem fun: the complete insanity of my mood swings which can practically be timed to the minute. Knowing it’s PMS offers some respite, but not enough to make up for the rage and impatience which seems to unleash itself with no fear of consequence. (Until you feel better a few days later of course, when you get to enjoy the next emotion: shame).

And what about the sweating? The eating? The incessant bleeding? The finally getting to sleep at 6am only to be woken by your child 45 minutes later?

Because that last point leads me on to something else I’ve been wondering: IS everything period related worse post-childbirth or does it just feel that way because you’re living it whilst also coping with the demands of a baby or toddler or two? Pre-parenthood it’s not as though I would have been able to indulge “that time of the month” by laying in bed all day with Dinner Date re-runs and doughnuts, I worked and had to function in adult society like the vast majority of women, but it was definitely easier to have an “off” day. Toddlers are hilarious and wild and magic and brilliant but they can sometimes feel as if they’re specifically designed to be world class wind-up merchants, so wrestling one (or two) into a buggy whilst treating a room full of unhelpful strangers to surround sound banshee screaming can definitely tip you over the edge if you’re already feeling low. (Or the toddler antics won’t, but the man in the Sainsbury’s queue who thinks it’s an appropriate time to mutter “double trouble” definitely will).

I’ve done some rudimentary googling and come up with mixed feedback; some people find their PMS greatly improves post-childbirth but there are definitely lots who find it ramps up a gear. Whether or not you breastfeed will of course make a difference, as will whether you choose to go back onto hormonal contraception. Then of course there are many women who will have needed hormonal treatments to achieve or sustain their pregnancy in the first place. Do the hormone changes of carrying multiples have any impact? I’d like to think so as it would give me an excuse for being particularly unkind on certain dates but I’m not sure there’s any science there.

There’s no conclusion to this post, other than to say I’ve booked to see my GP to ask for advice. I don’t really like the idea of taking anything year-round given it’s a problem which only rears its monstrous head for a few days each month, but those few days are HARD and if there’s a simple enough solution I want to try it. Magnesium? A coil? Evening primrose? B6? Constant Domino’s cookies?

I wanted to open up the discussion though as it’s not right that so many women feel so hideous so often – it’s not enough knowing it’s “just” PMS – and from briefly mentioning I’d be posting about it on Instagram I was inundated with DMs from people who feel they’re suffering worse than ever before.

I know blog comments can seem rather olde worlde in these heady 2019 days but feel free to comment anonymously here or join the conversation over on Instagram, I imagine that’s where most of the discussion will take place.

Be well!

x

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Comments

My hormones are still all over the place a year after giving birth.
I breastfeed and have only had one (horrendous) period at around 10months post birth. Heavier and more painful then normal, thought I was in labour again. pMS was shocking too. But haven’t had another since (and no not pregnant, have checked!).
I refuse to go on the pill. I came off it around 10 years ago due to really bad depression that I was given anti depressants for. After research I decided to come off pill ( I had been on it since I was 16 with no break!), and amazingly the depression cleared. I DO NOT recommend anyone coming off anti depressants without support of Dr and I did a lot of research on prolonged use of pill. This decision to come off pill was also due to the news my close friend had been suffering a series of mini strokes due to being on the pill for prolonged time. She was only 30 at the time and the final one she had has had lasting effects.
My husband knows I won’t go on pill again or use coil etc. He has offered to have the snip but we don’t know if we want more babies yet. Abstinence seems to be working fine for us haha.
With the hormones raging, and the constant grumbling/aching in the womb area (I had vaginal birth so can’t blame scar) I am really worried about the permanent return of my periods. That 1 I had has scared me and don’t want another X amount of years with that each month. Fingers crossed things ease when I stop breastfeeding and the hormones chill the f out.

Poppy, I’m 34,have a 4 and 2 year old and PMS is the seventh circle of hell, every single month. I get a one week reprieve but beyond that, ovulation is excruciating. To the point where I wonder if someone or something is in there brandishing me with a hot poker.

Menstruation less debilitating but the PMS is all-consuming, home-wrecking, sleep-disturbing, rage inducing hell.

And I don’t think it’s because my patience levels have already been obliterated by my childerbeasts.

It is life-alteringly worse. Exacerbated by caffeine for me and migraine makers that are Evening Primrose pills. Panacea, they are not.

The struggle is very real and I have no clue why so many of us suffer with this on an ongoing basis.

Mine have worsened with each child. I am currently having my hormone levels checked because my PMS became so intense a few months ago I felt suicidal and couldn’t stop crying. Not ideal in front of said children. It helped knowing that it was hormonal rather than an emotion rooted in my mental health, but it was so so scary. Coupled with unimaginable bleeding every month, off to the GP I went. Will follow this thread with interest!

I had twins in April and my periods have been horrendous ever since. I wondered whether it had something to do with the fact that in order to have didi twins you have to hyper-ovulate? I don’t want to go back on any kind of contraception either, and I’m sure that’s what a GP will suggest (especially since they are horrified by the idea that you might get pregnant again once you’ve had twins – especially within the first year after a c section). I started my period when I was 9 and I gotta say, I’M OVER IT.

My best friend is a newly ish qualified GP (and newly pregnant in fact) and as part of her endless medical training she had to work under gynaecology and all sorts.
I’ve not had children but I have had period issues since the day they started.
Anyway, she is insisitent that the mirena coil (not copper) will be the solution to all my woes and is almost evangelical about its benefits. I haven’t had one yet as I’m a wimp, but you’ve got two toddlers so I’d imagine you’re hard as nails.
I hope you find a solution x

I have had terrible PMS for years and years long before having a baby. Then when I was pregnant I felt amazing and had very little mood swings. Once I gave birth all hell broke lose and I felt absolutely dreadful, obviously a lot of this was to do with the baby blues but 4 months later I still wasn’t feeling good so I booked in to see my GP. I have been on Fluoxetine since May and I can honestly say it has helped me beyond words. It is an antidepressant but my doctor said that because I am not depressed and have a hormone imbalance every month I can stay on these tablets indefinitely if I chose to. Before having a baby PMS is hard to deal with (I felt a black cloud come over me every month) but having a baby to look after it became impossible. So I just wanted to let you know about my experience and to tell you about the tablet which has really helped me! Take care xxx

I’ve not had children but everything you have described was me. My PMS used to be so bad that I would find myself self harming during ‘that week’ of every month. Then on day 7 or 8 I’d be miraculously back to normal and have a few weeks of being fine but dealing with the scars from the previous months week and then it would all start over again. This was both on and off the pill with no difference.
In April 2016 I decided that enough was enough. I was in my final year at uni and had just met my now fiancé and I was fed up of being an utter nutter for a week each month so I met with the doctor and discussed my options. A week later I had a mirena coil put in. Since then I’ve had 2 days of spotting the first week it was in there and then – nothing. No bleeds whatsoever no loony episodes and no pain.
About 6 times I’ve had sore boobs and breakouts but nothing a frozen bra and a sudocrem face mask can’t help.
I know it’s not for everyone but it’s definitely something I would recommend and the pill definitely disagreed with me

I have a 5yr old and I’m the ripe old age of 44….pre-kid I barely noticed my periods and had little to no PMS. Since my son’s birth – which was elective section and v easy, although some health scares requiring NICU stays afterwards meant pumping only and no breastfeeding – things have been going to sh*t.

I know that that more recently that may be as a result of moving towards Peri-menopause (yay, etc), but essentially periods are 7-10 days beasts, the PMS is having me wanting a divorce two weeks out every month and if my boobs hurt any more than they already do I’m going to have them sliced off.

I have been meaning to go to the GP about it for 5 years but, you know, busy. So well done you for not waiting 5 years. Don’t be me.

Am so sorry you are having this happen but it’s like hearing myself talk… Am 41 with a just turned 2 year old and am convinced that I must be peri-menopausal too. Sore boobs I can only compare to pregnancy, utter crushing despair and near paranoia for a good few days before am due on, acne like am 15 again too. I saw a doctor last month and sobbed and sobbed at her. Work is also quite tough at the moment and my confidence is water thin – but that’s life post maternity leave I find anyway so probably a WHOLE other world of bloggers to talk about?! Am supposed to go back and see her round about now but I almost don’t want to pull at the thread again and cry at her more (by my reckoning I have another 10 days before it starts again) I feel fine today though and full of beans. It’s the worst dichotomy.
Thanks Poppy – and everyone here- for sharing x

“The PMS is having me want a divorce 2 weeks out of every month” – I can so relate to this!! I’m 36 with a 5yr old, a 3yr old and an estrogen imbalance since finishing breast feeding. I have a variety of herbal pills and supplements to tackle it but holy moly if I forget to take them – look out hubby!!

Hi Poppy
Pre children I always took the pill, which was ok but I’d forget to take the odd one etc so post Esme I decided to have the mirena coil fitted. The fitting was uncomfortable (think of an intense smear) but the nurse said that I have a particularly small cervix (not sure if that’s something I should be proud of?! 😂). Afterwards there is a couple of days of period like pain but nothing a few ibuprofen can’t handle.
The plus side – no periods. No purchasing tampons by the bucket load. Not had to do that since that small gap post Libby-pre Esme. I do get minor pms symptoms, like sore boobs for a couple of days before I would be ‘due’, but other than that it’s been a god send. I’m due to have my third one fitted this autumn and then that might be the last. I feel like I am entering the peri-menopausal stage and I’d like to go into it hormone free if possible, and it’s about time the husband stepped up to the contraception plate ✂️✂️✂️
One of his uni friends is a doctor and I grilled him long and hard about the mirena before I took the plunge, and I’m so glad I did.
I hope you find some answers when you visit your doctor. When you’re looking after the boys and generally on the go all the time, the last thing you need to add to your list is a monthly pain in the ass!

Hello Poppy,
I have a 3 year old and a 13 months old, I had two c-sections which went very well and i recovered quite quickly.
Since I had my second child, my period and pms are dreadful. I have always had period pain but had never suffered much with mood swings or heavy periods. My pms had got so bad it was starting 2 weeks before I was due my period and I would feel very depressed and sometimes suicidal.
Everything would go back to normal as soon as I’d get my period. Anyway cut long story short, after lots of reasearch I decided to try a dong quay and soya sprout complex supplement. I don’t know if it’s pure coincidence, but since taking it I don’t have any mood swings or depression. I feel much much better. My periods are still quite heavy in comparison to pre-second child but way better than before i started the supplement and less painful.
Xx

I haven’t had a child so probably nothing to truly contribute but already a G boobed gal I feel the pain in that department (god help me with the already too big boobs when I eventually hopefully have a child) then the moods each month. I finally got around to switching to a menstrual cup (Organicup but there are a million brands) which was an immediate success I can’t stop raving about and found Dr Jolene Brighton on insta. Heard her talk about seed cycling on a podcast and voila. Took a few months to see results but am now SOLD! Day 1 of period to day 14 you eat a flax/pumpkin seed combo (chuck seeds in nutribullet and mix into my breakfast) and the other half of the month it is sesame and sunflower seeds. Obvs I was at the try-anything-natural point and am so happy I did. I put the seed change in my calendar so I remember when to change the combo. Hate to admit that the seeds and reducing sugar/packet food has been the ticket for me. Good luck

I’m 4 months pp and just had my first period after very unsuccessfully breastfeeding through a horrific tongue tie situation!! My nips hurt but at least I didn’t get my period back right away! It was SO PAINFUL, I happened to have some codeine left in the cupboard which I had no choice but to take because i was bent in half in pain. It was so heavy that i had to put a pair of post birth tena lady pants on for bed time. The previous night I’d woken up in a puddle of my own blood all over my fresh sheets! Kill me. I’ve gone back to the gym a couple of times a week which hopefully will help and not hinder. If the doctor gives you any tips please share!

OMG. I have been googling exactly this. I breastfed for a year so thought my first few periods after they came back were catching up. But 18months later and they are still Armageddon level. I never got ovulation pains pre-kid but now it’s like an extra free week of period pain fun. And I am like a paranoid, crazy hormonal person half the month. No help to you, but nice to know I’m not alone.

Way worse, way way way worse!!!! I’m 3rd child in I’ve got a 9, 7 and 6 month old. I’m still breast feeding 6month old at the moment so I still haven’t had a period this time. Like you I decided to come off contraception after never having a break – but I don’t say this lightly when I say I’m a stark raving lunatic when I’m PMS-ing. I regularly have visions of me side swiping the kitchen worktop, smashing it all on the floor, getting in my car and getting the hell out of my life. The rage I feel, the impatience and the sheer emotional rollercoaster is enough for me to of been to the doctors. You know what they suggested? Going on the pill hahaha!!! If the wild beast returns with this time I’m going to HAVE to do something about it. Quite what I don’t know, I’m sure this is of no help, other than you’re not alone hurrah. X

Thank you for this post and also to all the people who commented. I have also been down this path!! I’m 36, a 5yr old son and 3yr old daughter. After over 4yrs non-stop pregnant and/or breastfeeding, I noticed so many changes in my whole body. I had about 10 various annoying issues – PMS as described by others above, headaches, constant snot, loss of libido, foggy brain, memory issues, fatigue, crazy rage and mood swings, depressed feelings, (one time I cried for a whole day and couldn’t go to work!) Also jaw pain (from tension) – at one point I couldn’t open my mouth properly. The thing was, I didn’t realise they were ALL CONNECTED. It all sprung from an imbalance of too much estrogen and not enough progesterone. (Perhaps that is why some of you are being prescribed the pill – if it’s the progesterone only pill, it will help with an imbalance.) Since discovering this in a blood test via my GP I’ve since changed my pill and takena huge array of herbal pills and supplements. I think it would be cheaper to just get described an anti-depressant which apparently might do the same thing, (?) but I’ll continue my way as it’s working AMAZINGLY well. (FYI I take: Nu-Women 30 Plus, evening primrose oil, St. John’s Wort, Magnesium, B Vitamins, sometimes vitamin C, and my mini pill).
This has basically changed my life, saved my marriage and made me a better Mum.
(Crazy I found this blog after reading your piece in Body Hair Week! Just bought an IPL machine) Good luck to everyone experiencing these hormone issues, it’s hard but I hope you all find whatever works for you 🙂