Barnacle Class

Mark Levin to Karl Rove: ‘Get the hell off the stage already, will you pal?’

On his Monday radio program, talk show host Mark Levin, author of “Ameritopia: The Unmaking of America,” rejected the notion that the Republican Party should become more moderate to win over voters and blasted several commentators who suggested otherwise.

Levin added that the so-called Republican “consultant class” — including MSNBC analyst and former John McCain adviser Steve Schmidt — should be required to disclose how much they’re being paid before they’re allowed to try to steer the party.

“This consultant class, ladies and gentlemen, is very, very dangerous,” Levin said. “And all this money you contribute to the campaigns — they’re pocketing a fortune. And the Republican Party, they’re not only pulling the Republican Party in the wrong direction, they’re losing campaigns.”

This is a good segue for me to spill a bean. Just one.

Even before coming into Todd’s campaign, I already figured out that this whole industry of campaign consultants was a scam. What Groucho Marx’s grandmother after a hysterectomy (and no, I’ll never forget any of that) calls the “consultant class,” I call the “barnacle class.” Basically, the scam boils down to this: A new barnacle latches his way onto some political campaign. If the politician happens to win the election, then the barnacle will get the credit among his cohorts in the barnacle class, even if the barnacle’s advice had nothing to do with his politician winning. And because of that, other politicians feel the need to hire this barnacle for future campaigns. A given barnacle that is lucky enough to latch his way onto enough winning politicians, again, I must stress, even if the barnacle’s advice, strategy and tactics have nothing to do with those politicians winning, then the given barnacle will get hired by more and more prominent politicians. Eventually, a lucky enough barnacle that latches himself onto a Presidential candidate that wins election then re-election will be a guest on Sean Hannity’s show every other day and will be called “The Architect” and “a great American.”

What I learned over these past few months is that members of the barnacle class are such egomaniacal self-righteous assholes, mainly as a result of all the adulation and ass kissing that the barnacle class and dim-witted hood ornament politicians and commentators give to the “successful” members of the barnacle class, that if you’re a political candidate, and you let any of these “successful” barnacles anywhere close to your campaign, then you better realize what you’re buying, and you also better realize that you better do everything these barnacles want you to do. For if you don’t, they will feel slighted, and they will have no choice but to turn Judas and stab you in the back. Because they have no choice but to do that out of pure self-interest and self-preservation of the barnacle industry. If you wind up winning in spite of their advice, then that only demonstrates the barnacles’ own uselessness and futility, and it might be a big enough pop in the balloon that deflates it and borks the barnacle industry and barnacle class forever.

This is why Karl Roverrated and others like him in the barnacle class turned so mightily against Todd. Including, in my humble opinion, Roverrated having death threats phoned in to Todd’s Congressional office in Washington, D.C., and also Roverrated starting and using sympathetic media lackeys and fellow barnacles to spread FUD rumors about our supposed dire financial situation. (True, we never had the kind of coin that Claire had, because every time you turned around, Claire was in San Francisco hustling money.) Roverrated couldn’t afford for Todd to win, so he had to be a poo-flinging monkey in order to intimidate Todd out of the race or stink us up so badly that the outcome was inevitable if he stayed in. There was another dimension to this angle, but that’s another bean to spill on another day.

I now realize that if I ever met Karl Roverrated, and called him Karl Roverrated to his face, he would literally murder me on the spot if he was armed.

Now, you may ask: Blogmeister, weren’t you sort of a barnacle? Yes and no. It’s true that hardly any of my advice was heeded, and I think that even after the Fateful Sunday, that we had a path to victory. And it’s also true that I’m arrogant, conceited and full of myself. But I’m not so arrogant as to think that Todd would have automatically won if more of my advice was taken, and I’m not so arrogant to think that he only lost because my advice wasn’t taken. Too, I’m not in the barnacle class because I’m self-admitted ultra-picky about politicians. I’ll only be a staffer on a campaign for a politician that I want to win or do well because I believe in them and I know they’re not two-bit phonies. If I wanted to be part of the barnacle class, I would lose the pickiness. Let me put it to you this way: There have been ten biennail Federal election cycles since I turned 17 years old, and I’ve only been a campaign staffer four of those cycles. If I wanted to be in the barnacle class, I would do better than getting on with campaigns 40% of the time. I should also add that I was a non-paid volunteer for a given St. Louis City Mayoral candidate in 1993, (name rhymes with Tom Villa), the primary day and election in substance was before I even turned 16 years old.

A couple of pieces of housekeeping business: This and my two previous similar posts are part of a new category of this blog’s posts called “Spilling the Beans.” Click it, and you’ll have all these posts and any future ones in one easy URL. Second, I’ve lengthened the commenting time on posts to 90 days. I’m sure my Spilling the Beans posts will have a lot of outside interest.

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6 responses

13112012

Puggg(11:15:12) :

Now that you say this, and I already knew it because you told me already, the Karl Rove and Steve Shit style barnacles and what they’re doing now in a general sense of things makes sense. They’re the ones who controlled most of these big name Republicans, and the Republicans did what they want and many of them still lost, including a lot of mainstream, moderate and liberal Republicans. Yet the Rove/Shit types are whining on TV and in the media that the Republicans lost because they didn’t do what they wanted them to do (even though they did). Their jobs and industry are toast if they admit or people wake up to the fact that the Republican politicians did exactly what these barnacles wanted them to do.

Rove and Shit: “Romney lost because he offended Hispanics because he was too much for immigration control.” Reality: Romney wanted slightly looser immigration policy for the last six months, mainly on the advice of Rove and Shit types, and as Vdare now notes, his big money donors.

The irony of all this time is that from what I hear, there was more open vituperative toward the person of Claire Conner McCaskill Shepard spewed among her own WOMEN barnacles in her own camp than there ever was in our camp. Of course, the main reason why there wasn’t any in our camp is because I kept my trap shut in that regard and a lot of other regards, in case there were any embedded bed bug media types.

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Alright Dan(11:19:27) :

You said:

Including, in my humble opinion, Roverrated having death threats phoned in to Todd’s Congressional office in Washington, D.C., and also Roverrated starting and using sympathetic media lackeys and fellow barnacles to spread FUD rumors about our supposed dire financial situation.

Since you said “in my humble opinion,” you’re insulating yourself.

It’s not that I don’t believe you, I actually do. But do you have proof of these accusations? Suborning death threats means prison.

The FUD money stories? When it broke, I started backtracking, going backwards, seeing where one source got the story from, where that source got the story from, going back to what seemed to be the original genesis of the “story.” While I don’t have smoking gun proof, in terms of Toto pulling the curtain back to reveal some old coot pulling levers, the arrows all point in the general direction of American Crossroads GPS.

Speaking of prison, whenever I do my next great revelation, if there is a paper trail or if phone lines were being tapped, what I know could very well result in some people going to Federal prison. I’ll give you a sneak peek hint: According to Federal campaign finance law, there’s supposed to be a wall of separation between 527s/SuperPACs and actual political candidates. Yeah, I know, insert laugh tracks here. There are some people, and I can assure you none of those were ever on our side of the wall, who thought that wall was made of marshmallow.