Chapter 19: Smut

I smiled as I looked in his hand. It’s been awhile since Jon felt playful. My heart pitter-pattered in hopefulness that the tension cooled between us and the trust was starting to build and would warm his heart back to me.

Because what happened next, takes ultimate vulnerability and trust of your partner; for a man to let his woman in

He positioned himself in front of me, and I aimed

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm -Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

“OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH……….YES…….YES!”

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

Rhythm-Rhythm

“YES…..YES……PLEASE….YES!!”

Maybe he was right for blinding the windows, as the affirmations were so loud; I’m pretty sure I could hear the footsteps from above again. But feeling bolder and more confident by the sounds of those affirmations, only intensified —deepened the experienced. So I went

Faster-Faster

Faster-Faster

Faster-Faster

Faster-Faster

Harder-Harder

Harder-Harder

Harder-Harder

“OOOOOOHHHH!”

Too fast. Too hard.

Poor Jon! He hit his head on an open drawer next to the bed. And I hit….something else.

He’s now lying face up, moaning in…maybe relief. I tried to rub his head in comfort.

“What the fuck, we did this on my pillow? I sleep on those.” He complained tiredly as he picked up the cushion and flipped it over to the relatively cleaner side (judging by the covers, I was sure that I wasn’t the only person to have caused a stain).

“Hey are you ok? Do you want me to get you anything?” I asked.

“No, just want to go to sleep. “ He muttered.

Uncertainly I added with a smile, “Heeeyyy….I had fun! The night is still young!” I poked at him.

“Yeah, it was fun…until my head got bashed in. You’re supposed to be looking out for me and protecting me.” Jon said, laying on his side not really looking me in the eye.

I felt a wave of blame wash over me. I was watching out for him…I had cleared the bed and made sure the surface was as even as possible. When giving him his “romance” I propped him up on a pillow to open up his anatomy. And besides, whose idea was it to use rope that poorly secured the device in the first place?

But well, his head was by the drawer…I guess I could have stopped and pushed him aside to close it. I finally concluded.

I looked him hard in the eyes: he’s smiling. So I’m not sure if he means it, but if he does I’m assed-out; for lack of better words.

Or maybe he’s ecstatic of the thought of getting revenge on me.

I’ll call him on it.

“FINE! Let’s do it!” as I bring my knees to my chest and roll on my back to lift my buttocks off the mattress, “Just go slow and get the lube!” I whimpered.

“Sigh!” And Jon walked on his knees back to the other side of the bed.

Now I’m livid as I sit straight up in bed and look at him with eyes of blood rage. I’m sick and tired of his bullshit; he offered me a condition and I accepted and he backed out of it. I spent at least twice as long fucking him then he did me —

“I’m tired…”Jon moans.

“What the fuck ever Jon, just go to sleep if you’re tired then.” I snapped back as I faced my body away from him and felt my cheeks burn against the cold desolated side of the pillow. I rarely cursed in front of Jon….or anyone really. I sometimes say some things in jest with my friends over some drinks. But I guess after being around Jon, it’s bound to take a toll on a person.

“I’m sorry…maybe another night…”He continued and he began to slowly and weakly stroke my back along my spine.

I contorted my body against his touch and inched away from him. When I finally relaxed the creepy sensation came back again and I would contort and wiggle my shoulders without daring to turn my head at him. This went back and forth for some time, I even at one point rolled over to my stomach and when I thought he’d given up, I’d relax on my side but his fingers were back.

Eventually he fell asleep; but the second night at Jon’s apartment I did not have a solid night’s sleep. I was up maybe an hour after, feeling completely angry and disgusted by his antics.

He’s such a loser, why did I drive 20 minutes on the highway for this?

In a moment, I had to stifle a laugh. I reached for my cell phone and quickly texted my friend who knew where I was:

Gawd, what the hell did I see in this guy? It’s bad enough that he doesn’t know how to be in a relationship, but now he can’t put out? What’s the point of FWB?

A wave of relief washed over me as I had finally came to my breaking point with Jon. I no longer wanted to be physically or emotionally involved with him and for the first time in weeks, I longed for my own solitary bed in the other borough. But given tonight’s antics I decided it was best to sleep it off then risk driving.

Sigh

I’m being set free

*********

In the morning, he got up, showered, and got ready for work while I lay in the bed and listened. I’m about to leave but first need to find a local pharmacy as my favorite hair care brand is on sale.

“Can I use your computer, I need to get directions for the nearest store” I asked.

Jon consented and stated that there was bound to be one near the highway. And there is. As I wrote down the directions; he’s sitting behind me putting on his shoes. He leaned back and watched me as I worked on his laptop gushing about the sale and how I was going to blow money on beauty products.

Looking back now, that moment was one of the very few mornings where I was happy to leave and go about my business and not mourn the fact that it may be another day or two before seeing Jon.

“How long does it take you to get to work?” He asked.

“Well that depends,” I replied, “By car, during rush hours up to 45 minutes, but with MTA…a good day is hour and half including walking.”

“How far is your job from here?” He asked.

Where is this going?

“I dunno, let’s check” I said patiently, I entered his address and my job’s address into the locator.

“It says 20 minutes by driving, but that doesn’t count for traffic” I explained.

“Well ok what about MTA if you can’t drive?” He countered.

I type it in.

“It says 35 minutes” I replied.

“Yeh, so see….it’s closer to get to work from my house then from yours.” He summarized.

“RRrriiighhht, you got a point.” I said as I kept my disciplined eyes on the pharmacy sales page on the website.

“So you know, maybe when you get back to work….it’ll be easier for you to get there from my house.” He concluded.

I turned and looked at him square in the face, with my typical no-nonsense perched lips.

Is now the time to clue him in?

Chapter 20:Sociopath

“Hey, I thought we could go furniture shopping today.” I suggested “My dad gave me some money, and there’s a bunch of stores around here we could check out…then maybe we’ll hang out later.”

Great. Smooth sailing. She’ll come over; we’ll get the stuff for the living room, and hang out the rest of the night. Absolutely NO smoking or bogies for Sabrien because she just acts crazy and nearly got hit by a car the other night….

I came across your blog a few weeks ago and I forgot to follow… I have been looking all over for it but I could not remember the name. ^_^ And you liked one of my posts. Weeeeee I feel honored. ^____^ I like your works. :) Four Thumbs Up! ^_^

You are so brave to write so freely! Here is how I would have to write a sex scene (uh oh, will my kids read this?): “Her breathing quickened. . . . . The next morning, over coffee and bagels . . . . . . I’m 3 weeks shy of turning 50! Pitiful. Anyway, I like your writing and will stay tuned.

Thanks so much for visiting my blog–as has been said in an earlier comment, I’m so glad because it led me to yours! Wow! I immediately flashed on “60 shades of 50 Shades…” ;o) I really like your writing because of its honesty. I look forward to future installments.

Thanks for your visit. Your writing is very interesting. I’ll visit again. For now I blog mostly on http://blogs.24.com/jeanihess/ but am considering to pay you visited.more attention to the one that y

Thank you for liking my article on my blog!! Really daunting putting my thoughts out there but I’m willing to just work with it and see where it goes!! I’m loving your blog so far, you are right up my street and I can’t wait to read some more!!
Thanks again, Girl :)

Hello from Norfolk, UK. I wanted to thank you for sticking with my blog for so long, and popping up with likes etc, from time to time. Just to let you know, it has never gone unnoticed, and is always appreciated. Your own work goes from strength to strength, and is to be much admired. Regards as ever, Pete.

This is my first time checking out your blog. I read chapter 3. Wow! I’m going to have to read the first two chapters to get a better idea of the story but this is great. You’re very open and honest in your writing. I’m sure many of your readers can relate to your experience. Keep up the good work

Hi, and thanks for your like at one of my articles. I discovered your blog earlier tonight (its 4 in the morning here in Norway atm), and I have been enjoying reading every chapter the last couple of hours. Awesome writing, and thanks for the honesty and putting yourself out there.