Beyond Fascination

Two months have passed since our venture into Orthodoxy began. If this journey had been just a “fascination”, code word for my autistic perseveration, the intensity would have faded by now. Like other religious investigations, I’d be swinging back to another branch of Christianity, in a never-ending search for the right way.

The pendulum has stopped swinging.

I can say this confidently because my mind is at rest. I do not need to know everything. Indeed, it is impossible to know everything in Orthodoxy, because it is centered in union with God. He is infinite. I am satisfied with saying, “I don’t know”, 99% of the time. The insatiable fact-gatherer in my head has taken a vacation.

True, there are mountains of things I can learn, and should at the proper time, but I am enjoying that quietness of intellect right now. Its like the verse, “a weaned child at his mother’s bosom”. God is caring for us in ways I never experienced before. He is there. I am content.

Absolutely…we have faith in the unknown, but there are many who like to think they know it all. God is in control, no matter how hard people try to understand it all…and that’s what is so beautiful, the Mysteries!

I wish I had that same attitude when I came into Orthodoxy, because so many problems came out of my trying to think it through. Orthodoxy was nothing more than the Apostolic Church intellectually and has taken me a while to understand the faith from the heart. Your route is the best route. I personally believe that God speaks to the heart and when we earnestly seek what is true, God mercifully shows us the way.

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Quotes

"I can't say I don't believe in your God, but I don't believe He meant the world to be as it is."
~Nicholas Higgins. North and South.

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you are licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what."
No idea where that last quote came from, but I like it!