A collection of stories and pictures your mother would probably frown upon.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 116

The Time Mookie Had An Awkward Conversation In The Restroom

I don't know about you, but I'm not usually one to carry on a conversation with people in the restroom. Occasionally I will say "hi" to people I know in passing, but generally I try not to do it while conducting my "business." Small chit-chat may occur, but I rarely make eye contact with the person I'm talking to because it just feels too weird. If I'm in the stall taking care of "number two," its a safe bet that I don't talk to anyone. It's just kind of a rule I have.

The other day I entered the restroom at work and proceeded to visit an open urinal. A couple of urinals down from me was what appeared to be an older gentleman. I didn't recognize him from the back as I walked in, so I didn't say "hello" or anything.

As I had consumed a couple cups of coffee that morning, my bladder had an extra pressure behind it and I let 'er go with pretty solid stream. The older guy must have overheard the sound of my stream hitting the porcelain/urinal water, because he felt the need to strike up a conversation about being able to pee efficiently. So while I was in thought about how I was going to respond to an email back at my desk, I heard the following:

"Boy I wish I could produce a stream like I could when I was younger."

It took me a second to process what the guy had just said, and I let out a humored "Oh yeah?"

He then replied with the following story:"Yeah I was out fishing my grandson a few weeks ago, and he says "Grandpa I have to pee." So I told him there was a whole lake in front of him and to have at it. So he unzips his pants, and I kid you not - this kid lets go with a stream that I swear went 50 feet out from the bank. I was like - how can you do that? And as God as my witness, this kid had finished and zipped up before the end of his stream had hit the water."

By the time the guy had finished this story, I had finished peeing and was washing up. All I could come up with was "Wow, that kid must have really had to pee." The old guy smiled and said:"Yep. I've never seen anything like it."

I gave him nervous laugh and a nod of the head, and left the restroom. All the way back to my desk, I was laughing to myself and thinking "Did I really just hear a story from an old guy about his super-stream-peeing grandson?"