Glee Turned Me Gay

I admit I was warned but ignored it. People preached that Glee would turn you gay and I really didn’t believe them. I was like, I’m pretty damn straight (except for a few times in my twenties) and I’m married, there is no way Glee would turn me gay.

Well I was watching the episode last night and it was the prom episode, I thought it was harmless. Then there were these intense scenes between Kurt (very out gay character) and Karofsky (very closeted gay bully character). Oh and you should know I now ship Kurtofsky. Ahem. Then Kurt got prom QUEEN! Suddenly I had this overwhelming urge to french kiss a woman.

Unfortunately, all I had around me was my husband and my 2 cats. I had no women around me, what was a brand new lesbian to do? I tried to watch The L Word but that just wasn’t enough, not even Katherine Moennig could quell my desires. I decided the only thing I could do was dress Manly Man up as a women, although the beard made this pretty difficult.

So I don’t know what to do now. Do I need to move to P-Town? Will these feelings fade over-time? If I watch a show about goats will I have a desire for goats? I’m very distraught and confused. I figure, I’ll just contact the Christian Right and I’m sure they can help me out. That, or I’ll just call Ellen and Portia.