Forget about how Community isn't debuting by letting ladies kick you in the face, on Nikita and Hunted

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, October 19, and Saturday, October 20. All times are Eastern.

TOP PICKNikita/Hunted (The CW/Cinemax, 9/10 p.m., Friday): Do you like to watch women kicking guys in the face? We’re pretty sure you do, which is why we’re so pleased to bring you two straight hours of it. First up, watch Maggie Q kick Phil Dyess-Nugent in the face on Nikita, one of the best shows you’re not watching, and then, watch Melissa George kick Todd VanDerWerff in the face on Hunted, one of the weirdest new shows of the year. Get involved in the spy-action-drama conspiracy stuff, then try to forget everything you’ve seen. (Try not to remember that Community could have been this top pick.)

REGULAR COVERAGEBoss (Starz, 9 p.m., Friday): Another season of Boss ends with American shrugging its shoulders and resolving to completely ignore anything Starz puts on the air that doesn’t have Spartacus somewhere in the name. Sonia Saraiya tried to get a, “No, I’m Tom Kane!” movement started, but it fizzled out.

Grimm (NBC, 9 p.m., Friday): At one time, NBC was going to debut Community on this fine evening. Instead, it’s showing a repeat of this show, then a new episode. Mostly because it hates you and likes to watch you cry. Kevin McFarland has enjoyed watching this experiment in psychological torture.

Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 p.m., Saturday): The TV Guide summary promises such sweet, sweet wonders when it says, “Bruno Mars hosts and is the musical guest.” As far as David Sims is concerned, those are the eight most beautiful words in the English language. Bruno, take us away!

TV CLUB CLASSICThe X-Files/Millennium(1 p.m., Saturday): It’s a very baseball weekend, what with the fifth game of the National League Championship Series, and Todd VanDerWerff covering the episode of The X-Files that most people just know as, “That one where the alien played baseball.” David Duchovny directs.

WHAT ELSE IS ONAmerica’s Next Top Model(The CW, 8 p.m., Friday): Despite how far in the ratings this show has fallen since the glory days of its run, The CW, nevertheless, renewed it for yet another cycle, though the next one will be co-ed. So you can watch the last gasps of this cycle and wish there were dudes there.

Make Your Mark (Disney Channel, 8 p.m., Friday): Hurry, everybody! It’s not too late for you to compete on this show and win the ultimate prize of a role on Shake It Up! What’s Shake It Up? We have no idea, but if you’ve always wanted a role on it, well, this is the show that will make that happen!

CSI: NY (CBS, 9 p.m., Friday): It’s good of CSI: NY to do an election-themed episode, but it also happens to be an assassination-themed episode, since this is, after all, a show where people solve murders. Let’s hope Gary Sinise doesn’t have to come on screen and remind the audience not to assassinate anyone.

Cursed (Biography, 10 p.m. Friday): This is the first time we’ve ever been made aware of this show’s existence, and it’s mostly because tonight’s episode is about a man who is descended from a witch. We’re wondering how he found that out. Is that commonly included on genealogical charts?

The Girl (HBO, 9 p.m., Saturday): Toby Jones is Alfred Hitchcock, dragging Sienna Miller’s Tippi Hedren out to the middle of nowhere to attack her with fake birds in this behind-the-scenes film that alleges that Hitch was a nasty old bastard. Nathan Rabin plans to throw birds at your face in his review.

Redneck Rehab (CMT, 10 p.m., Saturday): The rednecks are checking into rehab now, and CMT has apparently just decided to turn its entire lineup over to their assorted adventures. Anyway, we’re going to guess that if your “rehab” is just shooting at a deer, well, you might be a redneck. Hyuk!

The Addams Family/Addams Family Values (ABC Family, 7 p.m., Friday): For a brief while there, it seemed like Barry Sonnenfeld was going to be the next big popcorn film director and Raul Julia and Anjelica Huston were going to be our biggest stars. But all we got out of this was Christina Ricci!

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (AMC, 8 p.m., Friday): Among others, Rusty Schwimmer—Louie’s sister in the “Pregnant” episode of Louie—is on the run from Jason in this final chapter if the Friday The 13th series, and once Jason went to Hell, no one ever heard from him ever again. For real.

Moneyball (HBO, 6:45 p.m., Saturday): Brad Pitt plays Billy Beane, the man who would turn around the Oakland A’s and make them a team that doesn’t just get continually bounced in the first round of the playoffs. Also, his daughter plays him a song on the guitar, and it’s kind of mushy, if we’re being honest.

MLB National League Championship Series: Game 5: Giants at Cardinals (Fox, 7:30 p.m., Friday): With the Tigers in the World Series and the Cardinals on the verge of making it themselves, we’re really hoping that talking about the Cardinals in a positive fashion will jinx them. You owe us a Coke!

College Football: North Carolina at Duke (ESPNU, 7 p.m., Saturday): It’s always a great time when these two teams meet. The rivalry is intense, you never know who’s going to win, and Coach K will probably… What? They’re playing football? Oh. Well, uh… we guess you could check this out. It’ll be boring, though.

IN CASE YOU MISSED ITThe Vampire Diaries(Thursday): Carrie Raisler didn’t much like the season premiére, but she was stunned by this episode, which is one of the best the show has ever done. Mystic Falls takes a break to mourn those it has lost, and it’s just a little dusty in here, you guys. We’re not crying. We swear.