Yeah, so they used the music from Tron: Legacy to represent the contestants’ harrowing journey. I am quite certain any classical piece would have been cheaper (make that freer) and more effecting. The T10 did their usual 8-count routines, and it was clear the memos from last week were as follows: Caitlynn and Clarice, wear hip adornments; Jess and Marko, wear questionable fashion trends; Jordan and Mitchell, cover that biz up for God’s sake; Ricky, Sasha, and Tadd, be the exact same… and Melanie…? I guess she didn’t get the memo? How else can you explain that cheap-looking polyester cutout situation she was wearing? You’re better than that, girl!

So let’s just get this out of the way: NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! NEIL PATRICK HARRIS!

Okay, that’s out of my system. Now we can get on to the real business of the night. First to dance were Marko and Chelsie, with a Jason Gilkison samba. Rehearsal in sum: Chelsie kicked Marko in the face… a lot. The number is inspired by Kate Hudson’s less-than-inspiring “Cinema Italiano” add-on to Nine(yes, that of the “Guido! Guido! Guido! Guido! Guido! Guido!”). Well, it was certainly a sex-tastic start to the show Chelsie was working her hips like the rent was due tomorrow, Marko held his own, and they even had another smooch. Man, that Marko just can’t escape the kiss-eography. NPH deemed the dance “a dirty way to start that show” – and that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing – and Marko “the guy to beat.” Mary and her escapee earring = WOOOOOO! (What’s new?) Nigel was impressed with Marko’s “courage”… to dance with a tiny, beautiful girl and wear a well-tailored suit? That said – and don’t get me wrong – Marko is awesome. He made lemonade out of one of the lamer songs to get nominated for a Golden Globe in the last 10 years. There was no doubt he’s moving through to the T8.

Next up, Jordan and Brandon were under the tutelage of Dwight Rhoden and Desmond Richardson, which should without a doubt be amazing. It’s right in their collective wheelhouse, though they were both concerned with D&D’s Laurieann Gibson style of teaching. Boomkack or not, bring it, leg extensions! As you would expect with any Desmond Richardson piece, this one set to “Who You Are (Acoustic Version)” by Jessie J – or, as I like to call her, Katy Gaga – was gorgeous. The unison was spot-on, and Jordan definitely got it. Even so, Brandon served her. It’s moments like this (and the mind-blowing solo from his season) that make you wonder how he never won this thing. Meanwhile, I was totally going to overlook Jordan’s lace mini-dress-whatever, but then I saw that her right breast is fully lace! This is a family show, people! Speaking of which, Mary deemed Jordan “fearless.” She also used the word “served.” Who knew Mary Murphy and I would ever be on the same page? Certainly not me. Nigel agreed that Jordan was up to the challenge tonight, performing a routine by perhaps the best contemporary choreographers in the word. And I quote, “Wake up, Dance fans, and keep this girl in the competition!” NPH was likewise moved, especially by Jordan’s facial expressions.