Hi everyone,My parents are in year five of a divorce in New York State that recently went to court. The hold up has been over my fathers’ assets. His father left the family a lot of assets (not liquid) and my mother, who was a stay at home mom for 37 years, is fighting to receive half of my father’s portion of that estate in addition to half of my father’s own assets.

My father left my mother and understandably she feels entitled to half of everything due to the emotional distress of being abandoned at the age of 68, and the fact that she raised a family and moved us around about a dozen times for my father’s work. I’m inclined to side with her.

Here’s my question: my dad recently started some sort of relationship with a woman half his age whom he is paying a monthly stipend so that she can legally live in the country in which she and my dad live. She is doing nothing for this money, and their relationship is not romantic. She’s clearly a gold digger. He is now paying an immigration lawyer to try to get help immigrating to another country with her. He is a citizen of this new country, but she is not. He has been bragging to me about how this immigration lawyer is “probably the best in the country.” Meanwhile he’s continuing to retain a lawyer for his divorce and is also paying my mother’s very expensive lawyer. He is also paying for the new woman’s flights around Europe and around North America, he’s been telling me that she needs “stamps in her passport” in order to qualify for the visa to enter the new country (??)

Am I obligated to tell my mother’s lawyer about this development? My dad has kept this relationship secret from her and her lawyer intentionally. I am trying to protect the family’s money and put a stop to this utter mess my father is creating. My father’s assets have also been frozen since the divorce proceedings began. I’m not sure whether his payments to this new woman violate that agreement.

I am extremely frustrated by the lengthy process of this divorce and want my mom to be free emotionally and financially from this mess. Any advice? Thank you!!