Archives for January 2017

We are 30 days into the New Year. So, how are those goals coming? I’ve gotta be honest; I only set two goals for January, and one went well and one not so much. So what’s a girl to do when a goal isn’t going so well? Give up and lose all hope? No way.

Instead, think about these three reasons you’re struggling to accomplish your goal.

Limiting beliefs are holding you back.
Tony Robbins coined the term limiting beliefs, which are things you believe to be true about yourself, about others or about the world that limit you in some way. So if you regularly have thoughts about how you’ve failed at this goal so many times before or feel like you will never succeed, you are struggling with limiting beliefs. The way to overcome a limiting belief is to take that thought captive (2 Cor 10:5) and replace it with truth found in the Bible. Repeat your truth verses over and over to retrain your brain.

Lack of accountability.
Remember that quote, “No man is an island?” I sure didn’t say that. I am independent to a fault, and it has taken me years to learn the value of community. One of the benefits of having friendships is having accountability. No matter what your goal is, there will be times when you want to quit, when you feel overwhelmed or when you need guidance. It’s during those times that you must have accountability to advise you and encourage you. If you have a health goal, get a friend to do it with you or hire a trainer. If you have a financial goal, get a financial advisor or take a Financial Peace University class. If you have a spiritual goal, join a Bible study group at church or find a mentor. Accountability is the secret sauce to accomplishing a goal.

You are doing it wrong.You are doing it for someone else or because you “should.”
If you are trying to lose weight because your doctor told you to, that motivation probably won’t get you through a chocolate craving. If you are trying to stop impulse buying because you know you probably should, that won’t be enough to help you pass up the great deal at Target. Your “why” has to be powerful. Weak motivation produces weak results.You are doing it the wrong way.
I live near Memphis and my parents live in western Kentucky. There are several ways to get from my house to my parents. I prefer to drive I-40, so I can drive fast and have multiple lanes to use; my dad prefers taking back roads so he can enjoy the scenery and avoid city traffic. Both routes still get us to the destination, but we each choose the path we prefer. And the only way to know that I prefer interstate driving is to try the back roads. Keep this in mind when you are trying to accomplish a goal. Try different routes or strategies and see what works best for you. It may not be the same thing your friend is doing, and that’s ok.You are doing it at the wrong time.
If you have a big life event going on like having a baby, starting a new job or moving, now is not the time to work on a goal. Just focus on the main event that is happening. Your goals will be there when your life settles down.

You’re using the wrong measurement of success.
You might want to rethink goals that involve losing 20 lbs., building your retirement account to $50,000 or getting your child into the best school in your area. We can’t always control the results, but we can control our own behaviors like exercising four times per week, investing 15% of your income or taking five dates with your child before he starts kindergarten. That’s how you make your goal achievable.

No matter what your January looked like, you did not fail if you haven’t quit. We all need to change the way we think about failure. Failure isn’t something to be avoided at all costs. Failure is a great thing. Johnny Cash said, “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.”

Dave Ramsey is THE MAN, and this is what he says about goal getting: “A goal without a plan is just a dream.”

BOOM.

This is the time of year when we all make goals that will make this year the best of our lives. But for most of us, by the time March rolls around, we aren’t that much closer to achieving any of them.

How can we change that? How can a busy wife, mom and working woman achieve anything with the few spare moments she has?

It’s probably impossible without a clear plan that breaks down, even the biggest of goals, into small digestible steps. And the best way I’ve found to create that plan is by using the LASER method.

L- List all the things that need to happen in order to achieve the goal. Remember, no step is too small. Write down everything you can think of.

A- Arrange them from first to last. Look at your list and decide what must be done first, then second and so forth.

S- Schedule each task in your planner or app on your phone. I prefer the planner method because I like to schedule tasks for the week instead of a particular day. As a mom, I don’t always have control over my day, so scheduling tasks for the week allow me to tackle items when it works best for me.

E- Execute. Get to work. The best way to achieve any goal is just to start with one small action. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

R- Review. Regularly review your plan to make sure it still works for you. If you feel like you are faltering, you may need to try a different strategy. It may take trying a few strategies before you find the one that works best for you. There is no one size fits all way of doing anything.

I’m going to use an easy example to show you what I mean. Let’s say my goal is to meal plan every week.

List: I need to find recipes, look at our calendar for activities, make a list of items needed, figure out what meals I will plan and decide what days I will cook.

Arrange: 1.) Look at the calendar, 2.) Decide what meals/snacks I will plan, 3.) Decide what days I will cook/prep, 4.) Look for and choose recipes and 5.) Make a list of items needed from the grocery.

Schedule: Maybe I can tackle #1-3 all on Friday. Then I’ll find recipes and make my grocery list on Saturday. And on Sunday I’ll go to the grocery. Monday I’ll be ready to cook my first meal. So, I write each of these tasks in my planner.

Execute: I go to the grocery and make meals according to the plan.

Review: On Friday, I think about how the week went. Is there anything I need to do to make the process go smoother? Do I need to plan leftovers for our busiest night? Should I make more crockpot or make-ahead meals? Was Sunday a good day to go to the grocery?

If you need help creating a plan for one of your goals, let me know. I’d love to help you get started by brainstorming steps you should take to reach your goal.

This is the fourth post in our New Year series. You can read the posts on choosing your one word here, setting goals using the minimum effective dose here, and creating a vision board here.

How many times have you set goals, got distracted by life, and suddenly, it’s July and you haven’t made any progress? That’s why creating a vision board is key. Plus, in today’s world of Pinterest, Facebook Live and YouTube, we are obviously drawn to visual content.

Posting a vision for all to see was embraced even in Habakkuk’s time and that was around 600 B.C.

Habakkuk 2:2 MSG says,

“And then God answered: “Write this.
Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters
so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness
pointing to what’s coming.”

Author Michael Hyatt says, “When we create something visual, it gives shape to our dreams. It becomes a real thing, not just a thought.” We all want our goals for the year to become reality, not just a wish list. So creating some type of visual is a must.

And don’t be discouraged if you aren’t super crafty; vision boards come in a variety of formats such as:

Pinterest Boards- If you are a digital vs. paper person, Pinterest may be the best way to create a vision board. Just make sure you schedule a regular time to look at your board. With so many things online and on Pinterest, it can be easy to get distracted or forget about the board completely.

Display Board- You could use a poster board, cork board or a picture frame; the options are practically limitless. The advantage of creating a board that you can hang on the wall is that you will see it often and have your goals literally in your face.

3-Ring Binder- If you would like to have several mini vision boards or prefer to write out a vision, a 3-ring binder may be for you. Check out this YouTube video on creating a vision book using a binder. As the video mentions, this option is likely better for those of you who travel often.

Desktop Wallpaper- You can also use PowerPoint or Canva.com to create a collage of images that can be saved and used as your desktop wallpaper. I don’t recommend this option for those who have a ton of files on their desktop. Your vision board would get lost in the clutter.

I chose to make my vision board a DIY mouse pad. First, I wanted a new mousepad, and second, I see my mouse pad a lot. It’s the one thing that is always visible on my desk. No matter what format you choose, fill your vision board with everything from quotes, magazine clippings, photos, mementos, etc.

Okay, ready, set, go. Let’s see a photo of your vision boards.

This is the third post in our New Year series. You can read the posts on choosing your one word here, and setting goals using the minimum effective dose here.

Have you ever heard of the concept of the minimum effective dose? I think the first place I heard about minimum effective dose was from Tim Ferriss. He defines it as “the smallest dose that will produce the desired outcome.” I define it as doing the bare minimum that I will still consider successful.

See, this is how my goal setting typically works each year. I get really pumped up about setting annual goals. I have even purchased several books and courses on the best ways to set goals. I create a list ambitious goals based on the Wheel of Life, so I can ensure I am addressing every area of importance. (Is my Type A showing yet?) But without fail, by December I have only accomplished 1 or 2 on the list, and feel like I failed and just wasted my year.

Stop the insanity.

But thinking about grace, my word for 2017, reminded me of the minimum effective dose. So I revisited my goal list and re-wrote them in a way that takes much of the pressure off myself but will still help me move the needle in several areas.

My Goals for 2017

Spiritual: Spend 5 minutes each morning in prayer and pray before every meal.

To keep these manageable, I’m going to follow Jon Acuff’s advice in 30 Days of Hustle of just selecting 1 or 2 goals to focus on each month. And Chalene Johnson recommends treating these 1 or 2 things like a course of study, eliminating distracting information from books, podcasts and blogs that doesn’t center around that month’s goals.

I’ll report in at the end of each month and let you know how it went. Up for January is The Little Way challenge. I love tackling a health goal in January because making healthy choices is in the air. Everyone is doing it, and that makes it easier for me to have accountability. I’m only choosing one goal for January because we are moving into a new house, so I’m going to be slightly busy with that. (Hate moving but love being moved.)

And if you missed the first post in this series about choosing a word for the year, you can read it here.

So what’s the one word you should think about before setting your goals for the year? I don’t know; you tell me.

How tricky…

The past couple of years I have heard a lot about choosing a word to guide your year. Money Saving Mom has raved about the benefits, and there’s even a book called My One Word. (Their post will also help you choose your word.) The idea is that you spend the year focusing on just one word, something you feel God calling you to embrace or become.

I wasn’t actively looking for a word, but God has been reminding me of the word “grace” for the past several months. Intellectually, I know what God’s grace is. How about these often-quoted responses:

God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense

Unmerited favor from God

Grace is getting what I don’t deserve. Mercy is not getting what I do deserve.

So I get it, but I don’t get it. Meaning, I haven’t really internalized the concept so that it becomes a part of who I am.

And my spiritual life isn’t the only area in which I struggle with grace. My Type A friends can probably identify with this: I’m never good enough or doing enough to please me. I am my harshest critic. In other words, I have little grace for myself.

When it comes to my relationships with others, my outpouring of grace varies. It seems I have more grace for those outside my family than those inside my family.

In his book Grace: More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine, Max Lucado says, “God’s grace has a drenching about it. A wildness about it. A white-water, riptide, turn-you-upside-downness about it. Grace comes after you. It rewires you. From insecure to God secure. From regret-riddled to better-because-of-it. From afraid-to-die to ready-to-fly. Grace is the voice that calls us to change and then gives us the power to pull it off.”

Wow. I want to know the transformation that comes with the knowledge of grace, and it seeping into my bones. So my word for 2017 is grace.

What about you? Have you heard of this “one word” idea before? What’s your word for the New Year?

Stay tuned for the next post in this series where I’ll talk about how my one word is influencing my goals for 2017.

Primary Sidebar

Get Connected

About Me

My name is Ashley. I’m the wife of the best guy on the planet, the mom of two crazy girls and a lover of all things country music, reading and group fitness. And I’m super passionate about helping you simplify your life so you can spend more time doing the things you love.