Any man who owns a dog will testify that few agonies in life compare to that experienced when your beloved pooch, in his playful way, hits you in the crotch with both front feet when you are sitting in, for instance, a low armchair. Even a modestly sized dog, given a decent run up, can bring tears to
the eyes and a squeak to the voice, and possibly even compromising your ability to propagate the species on a temporary or even permanent basis.

To this end, BorgCp have designed Dog Safety Trousers. Indistinguishable from ordinary trousers, they have a small low-pressure airbag conceled in the crotch - sufficient to absorb the impact of Fido's paws. The triggering mechanism is an ultrasonic dopper detector, tuned to fire the cartridge only in the event of imminent high-speed impacts.

Due acknowledgement is given to prior art on the 1/2B but we consider that this idea is sufficiently new, innovative and above all useful to merit its own posting.

N@N, no it wouldn't, cats have a habit of leaping onto that region while one is in repose. Either that or they love to lie on your lap, stretch out and start kneading with their claws.

Raising the knee at the appropriate moment can fend off the pooch attack with no ill effects to either first, second or third parties.

Neither of these compares to the momentum needing to be absorbed from the head of a joyful loving toddler at full tilt, welcoming Daddy home after a wearisome day at the halfbakery. Croissant if it can protect from that one.