According to the Frys, an evil, seriously pissed-off poltergeist is plaguing their marriage and their home.

Before calling upon help, the couple have allegedly been dealing with an entity that beats Mrs. Fry and leaves marks of its attack. With attacks becoming more intense, Kerion decided to call in a professional slayer of demons to stop his wife Tracey from getting beaten.

“We are being molested by demons. My wife goes to bed fine, doesn’t feel anything in the night but when she wakes up she’s in agony. I wake up the next day and said: ‘I didn’t do that’. I would never beat my wife. It’s getting worse and worse and there’s nothing we can do.”

In the name of love, Kerion sought out the help of Robert Amour who beats the crap out of demons for a living.

Amour entered the home and determined that it wasn’t just a single demon, but a group of demons. In a battle where love and a marriage were at stake, Amour says he slayed two of the evil spirits:

“As soon as I arrived at the home I could sense there was negative energy. The incubus was brought via a ouija board – they are an absolute danger and can bring through anything. This particular one was reluctant to go. I always speak to their residents first about exactly what they can see. I listen and deal with it from there. I can normally see the demons straight away. I then focus on it and move it on to a heavenly state.
‘I don’t send it back where it came from. It takes a while for things to calm down as you have to allow the negative energy to return to positive energy.”

Amour says that there were three demons and he single-handedly laid waste to two of them using nothing more than a bible and a crucifix.

Unfortunately Amour states that he was not able to cleanse the house of the third, most powerful demon and that, after his exhaustive battle with the lesser two, he wishes the Frys well in the future.

Always reassuring to hear from a professional demon slayer.

Currently the Frys are still dealing with an evil nightmare demon from hell…

Latoya Ammons owns a house in Gary, Indiana where she lives with her three children since 2011. Things were going well until 2012 when it all started getting a little Amityville-like.

Large black flies started appearing in the house, her kids were levitating above their beds or being thrown through the house by unseen demonic forces. All the trappings of some bizarre supernatural joke where a priest, a psychic and the Department of Child Services walked into a house…

DCS (Department of Child Services) filed a report stating that they had witnessed some of the bizarre events firsthand:

“Medical staff reported that while the children were at their primary doctor’s office the medical staff reported they observed (one of the children) be lifted and thrown into the wall with nobody touching him.”

Then this instance that was witnessed by a psychiatric counselor and the DCS worker:

“Child became aggressive and then walked up the wall as if he was walking on the floor and did a flip over the grandmother.”

The situation escalated when two clairvoyants, an exorcism-performing priest and the local police department got involved. The three children were growling at times, photos taken by officers were allegedly showing faces and apparitions and shadowy figures were harming the children.

According to some of the people helping Ammons with her situation, 200 demons were believed to inhabit the house and Ammons believed it was all coming from under the stairs. During one of their many stops at the house, officers checked under the stairs. The concrete floor was broken and revealed the dirt underneath but nothing telling or eerie was found.

A more detailed account of the bizarre, made-for-Hollywood story can be read over on the IndyStar’s site where, after reading the actual police, DCS and even the Catholic priest’s report, you’ll have just have to make up your own mind on this very strange case.

And while you’re at it? Take a look at that photo of the house again. It was taken by one of the police officers after responding to a call from Ammons. Notice anything…maybe watching you?

To promote the new film, Devil’s Due, the marketing team decided to introduce unsuspecting New York pedestrians to the star of the film via a remote-controlled stroller and the animatronic spawn of Satan.

Led by their fearless pastor father, these girls are about to keep themselves in prime fighting condition by doin’ some exorcisin’ in the heart of paganville and the home of evil incarnate…Harry Potter and his wizard-breeding mother-figure JK Rowling.

Many, as the media buzz around these poster girls continues to skyrocket, believe that their father is the one driving this group of do-gooders in order to help sales of his merchandise including his ‘Crosses of Deliverance”.

One of the girls explains their mission:

‘It has been centuries in the making, but I believe it came to a pinnacle with the Harry Potter books. The spells you are reading about are not made up. They are real and come from witchcraft.’

Brace yourself, Europe. These ladies are gunnin’ for your precious Harry Potter and we can’t wait to see the battle scenes that the Internet creates.

Who ya gonna call when someone you know or love or even yourself is suffering from demonic possession?

Answer? Not the Ghostbusters.

No. You’re going to call the Catholic Church. Not because the Ghostbusters are a fictional group of ghost-catching celebrities who can’t get their act together for that long-awaited third film.

You’ll be calling because the church is offering the service in the real world and the big clincher in our recession-slammed economy…it’s free.

The Catholic Church’s largest diocese is located in Milan is now offering exorcisms over-the-phone.

Chief exorcist Monsignor Angelo Mascheroni has recently doubled the amount of people manning the phones because of the increasing level of possession.

“We get many requests for names, addresses and phone numbers; that’s why we’ve set up a switchboard in the curia from Monday to Friday from 2.30pm to 5pm. People in need can call and will be able to find a priest in the same area who doesn’t have to travel too far.”

Monsignor says that most of the calls that come in are simply parents of disobedient teens that are dealing with typical disobedient teen stuff and that the actual phenomena of demonic possession are rare. Other calls from parents claiming their child is possessed are, sadly, simply children with psychiatric or mental disorders.

Police officers in northern Penang, Malaysia raided a house after getting a distressed phone call from someone.

What they found was a pile of eight, chanting adults covered with a blanket lying on the floor of a bedroom.

Underneath this bizarre dog-pile was a 3 year-old girl who’d been suffocated by the adults on top of her. The adults that took part in this eerie and disturbing scene were the girl’s parents, grandmother, uncle, aunt, two cousins and the family’s maid in a ritual to remove the evil spirits that apparently inhabited the child.

Because Florida isn’t already weird enough now that they’ve added bath salt-created, face-eating zombies to the list, a literacy teacher at Lealman and Asian Neighborhood Family Center in St. Petersburg has been jailed for performing what appears to be some kind of strange ritual involving seven children!

Just before sunrise on a Saturday morning, Danielle Harkins was with these seven children around a small fire near the St. Petersberg Pier. Harkins told the children their bodies needed to be rid of demons by cutting their skin open. Once they’d let the supposed demons out, they’d have to burn their wounds closed to prevent the demons from returning.

Police were tipped off when one of the teens sent a text message to a friend. That friend showed the message to the parents of the teen that sent it.

While none of the teens that attended the weird ritual are really opening up as to why they gathered that morning, some details have emerged. One teen suffered a cut on the neck from a broken bottle which had been cauterized by a heated key. Another teen suffered second-degree burns when the flame from a lighter Harkins was using to burn a hand-wound kept going out. Harkins then doused the teen’s hand in perfume and ignited it.

At this point no one knows the reasons behind the gathering or the bizarre ritual except for Harkins and the teens who were there.

The two made a living allegedly selling “the future” to customers by pearing into a crystal ball. Their claims were only bolstered by the fact that they seemed to know so many other facts about the lives of those that called upon them. Police exposed their antics after an accomplice attempted to bribe an officer to make the whole affair go away.

Although the pair are shut down now, it did not come soon enough for one poor woman who was parted with a large sum of cash in one of the most awesome scams ever.

One woman told how she had believed the two Roma women were genuine mystics, and had been persuaded to take tens of thousands of pounds and go to a nearby lake for a midnight ritual. She had been told that she had to release herself from the burden of her money and throw it all in the lake – but when she hesitated a demon like figure had emerged from the water and in a panic – she had thrown the money into the water and run away.

But police discovered that the water devil was in fact a pal of the pair who had put on diving gear and a mask to terrify the unsuspecting victim.

As many of us reconstitute ourselves after surviving the Christmas weekend, everyone can count ourselves lucky that we didn’t get a visit from the Krampus. This Germanic folklore creature is the raging, punitive ying to the sobering, genial, jelly bellied yang of Santa Claus.

See, the Krampus doesn’t cop to this namby pamby you’ve-been-bad-so-you-get-coal-in-your-stocking nonsense. No. He needs to see the wicked punished. And he aims to do it his darn self. Getting all up in your face… one naughty house at a time, kidnapping awful children and eating them.

Krampus is a mythical creature recognized in Alpine countries. According to legend, Krampus accompanies St. Nicholas (Santa Claus) during the Christmas season, warning and punishing bad children, in contrast to St. Nicholas, who gives gifts to good children. When the Krampus finds a particularly naughty child, it stuffs the child in its sack and carries the frightened child away to its lair, presumably to devour for its Christmas dinner.

So, just in case you were wondering where your sister went. Much more Krampus action, including a few videos of Krampus cosplay over at Cryptomundo.