Miranda Needs AJ's Help Getting Into Her Pants on All My Children

AJ (Eric Nelsen) discovered Miranda (Denyse Tontz) in his room trying on Colby’s “vintage” jeans. Apparently Colby was even skinnier than Miranda, because she had to ask AJ for help in squeezing into the hip huggers. For some reason I doubt Miranda was the only one having problems with their jeans.

Later, Miranda came out wearing a top without a bra. AJ told her to take the shirt off because she was all on display. When she balked, AJ proceeded to tell Miranda “the trailer park called and they want their trash back.” Okay, even I chuckled at that line.

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Apparently AJ’s room is busier than Pine Valley’s airport, because Bianca (Eden Riegel) showed up with a gift for her daughter.

Celia (Jordan Lane Price) told Brooke (Julia Barr) her guardian didn’t want her working for the Miranda Center. Brooke wasn’t happy to hear the news. However, Celia said she didn’t care what her guardian had to say.

When Celia returned to her dorm room she found flowers and an iPad waiting for her. The iPad had a taped message from Pete (Robert Scott Wilson) on it. In the video, he asked her to come to the window. When Celia opened the window, she discovered her digital knight waiting with flowers below.

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Angie (Debbie Morgan) informed Jesse (Darnell Williams) and Zach (Thorsten Kaye) about David (Vincent Irizarry) being out of jail. The men weren't happy with the news, especially when Angie revealed she was the reason he'd been paroled. Angie told them to get over themselves where Hayward was concerned.

Jesse used his wife's reaction to the David situation to drive home the point of why she couldn't know about Cassandra's (Sal Stowers) kidnapping. Will this guy ever stop lying to Angie about what's really going on with her children?

Griffin (Jordi Vilasuso) was about to call the police, but stopped when David revealed he was out on parole. Cara (Lindsay Hartley) told her brother she could handle talking to David. One week into TOLN’s All My Children and I REALLY want to see more David and Cara.

After Cara stalked off, David noticed a hospital room with JR Chandler’s (Ryan Bittle) name on it. David discovered his biter enemy connected to tubes and monitors. He started turning off the various alarms, but stopped himself just before pulling the final plug.

Hunter (David Covin) distracted Miranda on their date at Jane’s Addition, by asking her to draw something. While she was drawing, he kept looking over her shoulder. AJ showed up, causing Miranda to go over and accuse him of following her.

A blonde girl was sitting with Hunter when Miranda returned to the table. Miranda's cocky crush quickly explained the girl swung both ways and wanted to know if she was interested in getting high and doing a threesome! When Miranda cringed at the idea, Hunter commented that he thought she'd be a "freak" like her mother.

A traumatized Miranda left Jane's Addiction, as AJ stormed over to confront Hunter. When Hunter dissed Miranda, AJ punched him.

The dialogue during the teen set's scenes still needs A LOT of work. To say it was heavy-handed would be an understatement on par with saying ABC was a little rash in cancelling two iconic sudsers at the same time.

Bianca visited Marissa’s (Sarah Glendening) grave. She talked to her dead lover about AJ and Miranda. We've got to get Binks on Match.com It's been five years.

Back in JR's room, David was gloating about Babe and Marissa's ex-husband being trapped in a fate worse than death. Of course, Junior's fingers started twitching, prompting David to go into a chokehold on the defenseless vegetable.