The Lies of Erin Brockovich

The possum has fifty teeth. More than any other
North American mammal except Julia Roberts. Ms
Roberts' dentition and other cosmetically enhanced
mammalian attributes are now on exhibit at
neighborhood movie houses, in her latest flick
Erin Brockovich. This movie purports to be
the true story of a single mother with three children
and no formal education who lands a job as a filing
clerk in a law office. Erin becomes curious about a
small land purchase by the $30 billion utility
company PG&E. She then goes poking around
Hinkley, California. The uneducated Erin turns
amateur epidemiologist and aggressively drums up
six hundred plaintiffs for her employer’s law practice.
The lawyers for these “victims” then claim that the
residents of Hinkley, California were harmed by
minuscule amounts of chromium in their water
supply. Erin points her accusing finger at PG&E.

According to the Erin Brockovich website
which Universal Studios uses to tout the movie, Erin
“seemed like the perfect role model for the new
millennium.” And “by triumphing over
insurmountable odds, she is able to prove herself and
reinvent her life.” Wow! Feminist triumphalism!
Irresistible catnip for the imaginations of countless
women living humdrum lives. Roberts wears 52
gaudy outfits in ninety minutes. Universal calls it “a
Cinderella story.”

If, however, the big corporation didn’t harm the
plaintiffs, then the inflated Erin Brockovich
collapses into a tawdry tale of one ignorant intrusive
exhibitionistic busybody on the make, whose breasts
continually challenge all half-hearted efforts at
containment. The sainted “victims” morph into
leeches and hypochondriacs. According to the
Universal website, the film makers “made a
conscious decision to avoid courtroom scenes.”
That’s good for box office receipts, because
courtrooms are where defendants get to present
their evidence.

The primary test for determining the cancer-causing
potential of chemicals is called the Ames Test. It was
named after Bruce Ames, now a professor of
biochemistry and molecular biology at the University
of California. When asked about the all-important
premise of the movie Erin Brockovich
Professor Ames responded: “It’s really not very
plausible that that little bit of chromium in the water
did what it was supposed to do. The amount of
chromium was just not credible.”

Professor Ames abandoned his own belief that trace
amounts of chemicals cause cancer clusters when his
testing revealed that about half of all natural
substances include carcinogenic chemicals. Even
organically grown vegetables contain carcinogens.
Testing indicates that the last cup of coffee you drank
contained at least 17 carcinogens and packed more
cancer-causing potential than 150 gallons of the
drinking water of Hinkley, California, where the
enterprising Erin Brockovich launched her scare
campaign.

Professor Ames points out that in order to win
“cancer cluster” cases, sharp lawyers must promote
trash science by narrowly focusing the jury’s
attention on only one chemical, while scrupulously
avoiding any mention of the much greater risks from
such hazards as smoking and bad diet. “They never
controlled for things like smoking and diet,” Ames
said. “Nobody wants to think anything they do is their
own fault.”

That quarter of the population that eats the least fruits
and vegetables has double the rate of cancer as the
quarter that eats the most fruits and vegetables. The
working-class folks whom Erin signs up as plaintiffs
are exactly that segment of the population most likely
to chain smoke and use their bodies as grease traps.

So, were the blue-collar folks in Hinkley poisoned by
the evil corporate bosses? No. Professor Ames
continues: “There is no evidence that any trace
amounts of chemicals are causing any cancer. But if
you tell people they’re going to make money, then
every possible ailment in the town is going to be
blamed on chemicals.” He dismissed the movie as “ a
completely Hollywood thing. Everybody likes to look
at Julia Roberts.”

As for the real life Erin Brockovich, she bitches that
every time she sets foot in Hinkley she is beset by
various ailments, even though she doesn’t drink the
water. What could be her problem? Well, in the
movie, Julia Roberts fires up a cigarette and sucks
over a thousand noxious combustion products deep
into her lungs. Cigarette smoke also contains
chromium, which is far more damaging when inhaled
than when ingested. Maybe that’s Erin’s problem.
When last heard from Ms Brockovich was off
looking for other towns where she could replicate the
Hinkley cash cow. It’s been a sweet ride for this
uneducated flamboyant exhibitionist. A Cinderella
story, indeed. In the end, it will be California’s
poorest residents will suffer the most from higher
utility prices that will result from lawsuits based on
bogus science.

So, what is the “true story” behind Erin
Brockovich? Are Erin Brockovich and her boss,
Ed Masry, really the environmental crusaders
depicted in Universal Studio’s press releases?
Hardly! Ed is a sleazeball attorney who built his
reputation defending lake polluters in
Riverside, California. In 1981 he was convicted of
stealing money from a religious cult. From the very
beginning, the team of Ed and Erin have been two
hustlers on the make.

In the Hinkley case, Masry’s firm ganged up with two
heavy-hitting L.A. law firms, including
toxic-litigation superstar Thomas Girardi. Together
they descended on the small town and launched a
campaign to convince the residents that virtually any
illness that they had ever suffered was caused by tiny
trace amounts of chromium in Hinkley’s ground
water.

The litany of illnesses cited in this case included
rashes; nosebleeds; stress; chronic fatigue; lupus;
Crohn’s disease; various tumors; cancers of the
breast, lung, brain and lymph nodes; as well as
something gruesomely described as “intestines eaten
away”, which does not comport with any known
disease.

Have any of these disorders ever been linked to
chromium 6? No. Never. The Environmental
Protection Agency, the authority that sets
drinking-water standards, states emphatically that
“No data were located in the available literature to
suggest that chromium 6 is carcinogenic by the oral
route of exposure.” The literature does show that
workers who inhale massive amounts of chromium 6
over a period of many years may, in some cases,
develop nasal and lung cancers. There is no evidence
that ingesting chromium 6 causes health problems.
Numerous studies of persons living near sites with
high levels of chromium 6 showed no increase of any
type of disease. California’s Cancer Registry states
that this is also true of Hinkley.

Erin Brockovich now receives as much as $25,000
per appearance to show up and present herself as an
environmental crusader. She says she has “200
studies” that support her preposterous claims, but she
won’t show them to anyone; they’re super top secret.
She could make a million dollars this year just
running her mouth. She has a book deal and two TV
shows in the works.

Her motivation in the Hinkley case was purely
financial; truth and compassion had nothing to do
with it. The three law firms for the plaintiffs pocketed
40 percent of the $133 million settlement, plus a
whacking $10 million for expenses. Erin Brockovich,
personally, received two million dollars. Most of the
Hinkley clients made far less and the awards were
completely arbitrary. One man, who had twelve
inches of his colon surgically removed, received
$100,000, while a woman who underwent the same
operation received twenty times that amount. As one
Hinkley client explained: “If you were buddies with
Ed and Erin, you got a lot of money. Otherwise,
forget it.”

In this case, the bad guys won because PG&E was
made the target of a well-financed smear campaign
and was suffering horrible publicity. The case was
settled by arbitration with no possibility of an appeal
by PG&E. When the early cases went against the
publicly-owned utility, despite a lack of evidence, the
company elected to settle the case just to make the
plaintiffs go away. Then they passed the cost of the
case on to the public.

The “true story” behind Erin Brockovich is a
sordid tale of sleaze and greed. The truth was there
for anyone to see, but well-heeled left-wing
Hollywood poseurs couldn’t resist the opportunity to
smear some honest business people. (Hollywood
millionaires aren’t business people, they’re
“artists”). The Hollywood elite has never
been able to admit that its own slimy products are
America’s most harmful toxic effluent.

After the settlement, some of the Hinkley residents
hired new lawyers to sue their original lawyers. One
of the replacement lawyers caught the true spirit of
the whole affair when he said, “I read the script; the
only true part was Erin Brockovich’s name.”