(16-08-2015 12:40 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote: Wow. One of the things that has changed in the 9 years I didn't have the internet is the nature (subject lines?) of spam emails. I just went through my spam folder for the first time, and I learned several important things about myself:

My boyfriend is cheating on me.

My girlfriend is cheating on me.

I have several cash/gift cards just waiting to be claimed.

A sexy woman wants to send me a video.

I have a limited time to join a loyalty rewards shopper's club.

If I apply now, it's time to revitalize my small business.

I can improve my sex life. (Finally, an oldie-- but a goodie.)

This could be my chance for dental implants.

There are child predator alerts in my area.

I qualify for federal rebates on solar panels.

I've been selected for a FREE psychic reading. (I think it's more free when it's in caps??)

I really need to get ADT.

I really need to get FREE Starz, HBO, Skinemax...etc. (Again with the capslock?!)

And perhaps most importantly - I can get dates with sexy Russian and Ukranian women. (Besides Alla.)

There should be a law that if someone admits to you that their job is sending spam emails or creating programs that do, you can smack the bejeezus out of them.

What fun stuff is in your spam boxes?

Damn, my spam folder has nothing but MyOpinions and Funimation.
One time I did find a viagra advertisement in there though.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.

I'm really curious, RocketSurgeon.... Given your absence, and lack of internet, did a few of them seem more real than others until you caught onto all the new ways people are trying to scam us? Maybe not the more obvious ones, but the ones that "are from your bank" or the ones "from the IRS". It would be understandable if you were.

Spam filters are more effective now than they were 9 years ago, so at least there's that. =)

Apparently my nickname is now pêckër and âñål pūńįšhër and some chick wants me to play with her pûS$ÿ, get frisky, and I need to add her as my f%ckbuddy.

Pottery barn, kohls, williams-Sonoma, best buy sales.

7 sex positions for lazy girls from women's health magazine - why is women's health promoting sloth, and in the bedroom of all places? Are they implying I'm lazy? Not so sure there's a sex position I haven't tried that doesn't involve special equipment. So thanks, but no thanks, I've got this under control.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman