Share 'Off Side and Holding'

In general, when it comes to women I am slow to recognize any signal even when as obvious as a stick in the eye. Being the typical dumb guy, that any woman would turn me down registered as a clear sign that I wasn't trying hard enough. After a woman told me, "I think you're an ass with no common sense. Plus, you're ugly and borderline terminally dumb," I might get the hint. However, though pick…