SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Anyone try a dating site with luck. My ex is on match . I joined just because he did. But to many weirdos.

Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 1020 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois

jo2love♀ 31528Member # 31528

Posted: 8:04 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I'm not on OLD, but 2 of my friends met their husbands on match. It took them a few years to find their Mr. Right.

Posts: 40950 | Registered: Mar 2011

lostmommy♀ 33440Member # 33440

Posted: 9:10 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I met my current SO on POF. We dated in October for a couple of months but I wasn't ready for him. Now I'm 3 months in and so glad that we gave each other a second chance. It can happen, but you have to be patient and weed through a LOT of phonies.

Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY

ruinedandbroken♀ 29250Member # 29250

Posted: 9:46 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

My good friend's met her current SO on match.com and he is a really great guy. They are very happy together. :)

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1596 | Registered: Aug 2010

Jrazz♀ 31349Member # 31349

Posted: 10:02 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

My cousin met her husband on Match several years ago. They are both attractive, successful, respectful, wonderful people. They are expecting their first son in February.

"It is impossible to get a man to understand something if his livelihood depends on him not understanding." - Upton Sinclair

Posts: 23914 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California

Shockleader♂ 36827Member # 36827

Posted: 10:59 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

Yep, met the gal I have been dating for 2 months from OkCupid... I would have never believed it would work, but it has. First date till now has been like magic! Had other dates prior to her from OLD, and I am a believer. Just gotta be careful to weed out the flakes! Give it a fair shot!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...

Posts: 664 | Registered: Sep 2012

Thelastknight♂ 21851Member # 21851

Posted: 11:40 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I have met some great ladies through PoF. I still have them as friends.

"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2

Posts: 958 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW

Saleschick♀ 39772Member # 39772

Posted: 12:04 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

I am on match and have only been on a little over 1 week
Finding guys my age want younger women and most of the men contacting me are either guys older than I am interested in or really young immature guys
That being said I have gotten a lot of "winks" and "likes" on my pictures.
I will give it more time but so far not too impressed yet

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013

Saleschick♀ 39772Member # 39772

Posted: 12:12 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

On match I actually sent one unsolicited email to a guy only 15 miles from here.
He had a wonderful profile which I though would be a great match for me (no pun intended)
He has not read the email despite being online so I assume he has a free account which is disappointing

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013

Abbondad♂ 37898Member # 37898

Posted: 4:54 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

I met my STBXWW on Jdate ten years ago. We were one of their posted "Success stories."

Way to go, Jdate!

;-)

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune

Posts: 1863 | Registered: Dec 2012

EvenKeel♀ 24210Member # 24210

Posted: 9:00 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

I have dabbled with OLD off and on.

I have not had any horror stories but I investigate anyone I am talking too and block anyone that is 'off'.

God didn't give you the strength to get back on your feet so that you can run back to the same things that knocked you down.

Posts: 2954 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa

Dawnie♀ 26912Member # 26912

Posted: 9:05 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

I met my now husband on Chemistry.com... so I have a high opinion of OLD. You have to weed thru the creeps to get to a good one...

In my opinion the sites that you have to pay for usually have higher quality people and have less ones looking for "hook ups"...

I've done it before, but I can tell you that the successes are FAR less common than the unmitigated disasters LOL.

Many- if not most- guys on dating sites are the kind who A) can't be alone for 5 minutes, B) are looking to get laid on the first "date", C) are just out of a marriage/relationship/whatever (like literally, DAYS out) D) have serious issues with neediness OR E) are players and looking to shoot fish in a barrel.

The actual good guys are few and far between. As Walter would say... tread lightly.

Or be like me, and stay the hell away from those places.

My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

Posts: 4254 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA

little turtle♀ 15584Member # 15584

Posted: 9:24 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

I met my SO on OKC. We're getting married next summer.

I don't have any horror stories to share. Most of the guys I met just weren't a match. I'm still in touch with one of them. I started meeting guys from online back in high school so it wasn't a big deal to me to look there again after I got divorced.

Keep your eyes wide open. Usually after the first week or so, things slow down a bit. It seems that these sites let everyone know when a new person has joined and they all send messages right away.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4410 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan

Bebba1171♂ 33857Member # 33857

Posted: 9:26 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

Met my SO through Match. I was not a member, but saw her pic with her dogs and I was smitten.

Googled her name and found the same ID on Pinterest and and finally tracked down her address and wrote her a letter with a pic of myself and my dogs.

She liked my dogs, texted me, and we have been dating ever since!

Didn't cost me a penny!

Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 54Me) / XWW 52
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 734 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Western Kentucky

lonelylost♀ 36784Member # 36784

Posted: 9:49 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

I like OKCupid because if you answer their questions it will give you a match percentage, a friend percentage, and an enemy percentage. If the person who contacts you has a very high enemy percentage, you know it's not going to work out, don't waste your time. It also has a section that compares your questions with their's line for line. You can effortlessly weed out creepy people. So don't forget to answer the questions! Also, the site is free...double bonus.

Divorced Jan 2013

"Don't look back, the road is long."
- Needtobreathe

Posts: 210 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: IL

cayc♀ 21964Member # 21964

Posted: 10:55 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

I met my SO through OKCupid. Our paths wouldn't have crossed ever without it so from my perspective OLD expanded my dating pool significantly.

But yes it's true. You have to deal with a certain amount of rejection, and dealing with a lot of "meh, not a match" and maybe a few true crazies/liars.

I do think that different locales favor different sites. I don't know why that is, but in one city, one site will be more popular/better for you, but then if you move, you might have to change sites. So don't be afraid to explore more than one site to find your comfort level with how the site itself promotes interaction amongst its members.

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3446 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico

Sad in AZ♀ 24239Member # 24239

Posted: 12:44 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013

Don't look at me...

May your 2015 be more FUCK YEAH! than fuck this

Posts: 21896 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY

Saleschick♀ 39772Member # 39772

Posted: 8:48 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013

Bebba1171: I winked at him now too but again with him being a non paying member not sure if he can view it. I googled his name and found him elsewhere but hate for the guy to think I am a stalker. (LOL)

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013

Bebba1171♂ 33857Member # 33857

Posted: 8:00 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013

Saleschick.

I am a sales guy!

You only go around once in life, so I suggest you drop him a line. Us guys have egos so likely we will like the effort you have put in to connect with him.

Go for it! What do you have to lose??

Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 54Me) / XWW 52
Two great kids that don't deserve this!