Wednesday, August 31, 2005

One of my favorite shows on ESPN is PTI where Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon debate the lastest happening in sports. One of the sponsors of late is Red Stripe Beer (Motto: Its Beer...Hooray Beer!) and their commercials are quite humerous and entertaining. One of the talks about how white people can't dance and then the spokesperson turns on a radio and gives the white guy a Red Stripe and then they both dance. The commercial then says "Red Stripe and reggae, helping our white friends dance for over 70 years!"

I was just thinking, what if it was a PSA for Affirmative Action that ended by saying "Affirmative Action, helping our non-white friends get jobs they don't deserve for over 40 years!" We'd have people up in arms about racism.

I guess it must just be because white people are so much better (or is it just because we're better off) that we have to put up with people taking shots at us, while anything going the other way is totally offensive?

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

So tonight at Institute the announced there's some Bar-B-Hootenany activity coming up. Aside from the fact that I could barely look myself in the face if I were to go to some with that name, it got me thinking. Its supposed to be some kind of western-style activity, right? Well, why have we all heard of a western-style activity, but we really would be clueless if there was an eastern-style activity, or northern-style. Or dare I say southern-style? Whats up with that?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

As I was re-reading some of my recent posts, I realized that I had alluded to a Persistence Theory upon which I was going to expound, but which as of yet has gone un-expounded upon.

If I were to name this Theory after someone it would probably be Rhett Butler. No, not THE Rhett Butler. A guy in my high school's name happened to be Rhett Butler. Perhaps his famous name endowed him with some kind of overactive ego, but for the most part the guy was an overbearing jerk whose lack of self-esteem translated into treating everyone else like crap.

Anyway, there was a girl, Kelly, whom Rhett was interested in. And being the ultra-confident fellow that he was, he proceeded to date her, despite the fact that she was obvious too classy for him, and that he belonged with her the way mustard belongs with peanut butter. But here's the thing, they're married now. Not, to my knowledge, because he changed and became a great guy. No, just because he stuck it out.

I think most of us guys know a guy like this, who ends up with a girl out of his league because he is willing to be a jerk and not give up and just keep asking a girl out even when she's made it abundantly clear that she is not interested. Where most of us would not have the nerve to continue on after she's been clearly disinterested, some of us are willing to carry on as though things are fine. Eventually something changes in the girl and they end up together. And so the persistence theory is born.

The theory is that pretty much a guy can get any girl if given enough time to continue dating her or at least attempting to date her. If she isn't assertive enough to tell him to leave her alone in no uncertain terms, eventually she comes around to see things his way. If you, as a guy, are willing to persevere through the crappy time when she is obviously not interested and force her to be mean and up front with you, chances are that things will work out in the end.

Why is this? Is it because by sticking around for so long, you scare away any other potential suitors? Is it because, in a moment of depression and loneliness a girl can be convinced that you are the best she'll ever get? I don't know. Maybe the ladies can help me out with this one.

Sadly, I have not found that I am able to persevere enough to put this theory into practice on the grand scale, although with the one girl I seriously dated, there was a period at the beginning where I really had no idea what she was thinking about me and was just kind of winging it on my own without any kind of signals on her part. In general, though, the last place I want to be is some place where I'm not wanted. I hate to think that I'm the guy that every wishes would just go away and leave them alone. Because there are people like that and they never seem to know what everyone thinks about them. I hope I'm not that guy.

Addendum - 1/3/06: My older brother who happens to be married to Kelly's cousin and graduated with both of them informs me that I should point out that they are happily married and have 3 children and that Rhett does have some redeeming qualities. I assume this must be true and that really as a high school sophmore I didn't have a lot of interaction with so I'm limited by what things I did see.

He (my brother) also thinks that girls usually value the commitment shown by the persistor as that is something they tend to look for in men.

You know who they are. They're the first ones there, wherever there is. School, Church, some kind of sporting event. They get there before everyone else and then decide to sit right next to the aisle, requiring everyone else to have to squeeze to get through to the rest of the seats. Then they have the nerve to act put out that someone is rude enough to squeeze past them, even though we really have no other options.

In some situations this can be a huge hassle. In a whole bunch of my Computer Science courses we had aisle sitters, so finally I decided that any time I had to squeeze past one of these people, I was going to not-so-accidentally bump them a good one. Its not really in my nature and I don't recall how long I kept it up, but certainly I did it on several ocassions and always it felt good.

Another question that was raised in one of the "Letters from a Nut" books related to this topic is "What is the proper way to slide past these people?" Do you put your butt or your crotch in their face? There's really no nice way to put it.

So for future reference, if you are the first one there, do everyone a favor and slide in to the middle of the row, or if not, stand up and set out of the aisle when people are entering.

Monday, August 15, 2005

As I contemplate the reasons that I don't date more than I do now, I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm not so much scared of rejection, although it does kind of suck when you are interested in someone and they give you the old shaft-eroo. No, I think its more that I am afraid of having to break up with someone. That they will like me but I won't like them back.

This fear probably stems from the series of painful breakups that I experienced with the one girl that I dated for month than a couple months.

So basically, I'm more afraid that people will will like me and I not like them back than the other way round.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Have you ever been told to do something or not to do something by someone that has your best interest in mind and yet all it makes you want to do is the opposite. I'm a pretty stubborn person in that sense, and when someone gives me some unsolicited advice my natural reaction is to go 180 degrees the opposite direction. I've learned though that if I wait a few days before doing anything that I can let the advice sink in and then I'm more willing to give it a shot. I think this is because after mulling it over for a few days I feel more like its my decision and that I'm not just doing what someone told me to do.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

A day or two ago, I had a nice chat with a good friend of mine who has become active in the church recently (over the course of the last two or three years) and he said to me, "Ever since I started dating Mormon girls, things have just been way harder. Sometimes I think they are interested in me, so I ask them out and then make up excuses or dog me out or whatever."

So on to the advice for the ladies: We're grown up. We can take it if you aren't interested. Just let us know. Once we've made it obvious that we are interested, just let us know whether you are or not, so that we can both get on with our lives if the interest isn't mutual. Let's not waste 4 months on "Does she like me?" Don't suggest that maybe you'll change your mind, or maybe you were just busy that one time. Be clear. And by obvious and clear, we mean OB-VI-OUS and C-L-E-A-R. Like obvious enough that a guy could actually realize. Not in some obscure, "I didn't laugh at his jokes as loud as before" kind of way.

And don't give psycho guys ideas by finally giving into some guy who's been hounding you for years. The persistance theory has proven effective too many times because girls just think that no one else is interested. And if you don't know about the persistance theory, I'll spell it out tomorrow.