David Blaine to work in mundane job for forty five years

US illusionist David Blaine is to take on his biggest challenge yet in a feat of endurance that has silenced even his harshest critics.
‘I will go to new parts of my mind,’ he said, ‘I will wake up at six thirty every morning and travel to an office. The building will be sealed and air will be re-circulated using machines. I will be allowed to eat, but often it will be over-priced sandwiches at my desk. After work, I will go home and repeat the exercise the next day.’

The celebrity entertainer stroke magician says it will be a trial which will test not just his body and mind, but his soul. ‘And I will do this for forty-five years,’ he added. His endurance and sanity will be further tested by the presence of various irritating work colleagues who bicker about who used up all the Utterly Buttery from the office fridge and who’s been emptying their coffee dregs into the spider plant.

Under the strict conditions imposed on the trial, Blaine is allowed to have weekends and holidays off, but will often have to take ‘reports’ and ‘spreadsheets’ home to read on the train. He will begin performing the stunt in his native New York City, but career advisors say he may be in for surprises. ‘There will be reshuffles, possible transfers, job-shares and hot-desking,’ said one expert, ‘although that’s basically a glamorous phrase for ‘we’ve taken away your desk.’

What is certain is that Blaine, currently ranked 98 on the Forbes Top Celebrity list, will find it very dull as his salary drops from $2m to $48,000 minus taxes and insurance contributions.

The feat, entitled ‘David Blaine: Nine To Five will end in 2053. But David is already thinking about his next challenge after that, which will involve surviving on even less, facing health problems and boredom, as he attempts to rebuild his relationship with his family who will undoubtedly have lives of their own.