Saturday, July 14, 2007

I've written about a somewhat depressing night in a strip club in Michigan where the ladies wrestled in Spaghetti-Os.

Another less-than-erotic evening in a midwestern strip club occurred in Milwaukee back in the 80s. I was alone for the evening, staying downtown, and happened upon a club.

It was a fairly dark place with a very large stage that was evidently where all the action was to be. I sat at the stage and the DJ announced the appearance of Morgana, The Can Crusher.

I couldn't imagine what this meant. Out she came. I don't know if she was the same Morgana as the Kissing Bandit of baseball fame, but let's just say she had an outsized rack. It was freak show ginormous, not "boy I like big tits" large.

Guys were ordering cans of Milwaukee's best. Upon completion of the 12 ounces, they would put the can on the stage with a dollar.

Morgana would saunter over, stick the buck in her g-string, put the can between her breasts, where it remained.

She then shrugged her shoulders with arms at her side, thus forcing her breasts together. This would crush the beer can flat as a pancake.

Ta-daaaa!

That was the act. Guys cheered. I watched her do it a few times, then returned to my hotel room. As opposed to a good night at a strip club, nothing I had seen provided inspiration for a wank session.

In Quebec, I saw a feature dancer years ago whose shtick was that she came out dressed like Ernie. From Sesame Street. Yes, wearing a character costume complete with oversize head. Ernie stripped a little - he's not Jewish, evidently - and then she got out of the costume and into a kiddie pool, where she interpreted "Rubber Duckie, you're the one."

Truly a night that will live forever in my heart. Or at least seared into my retinas.