Thursday, May 8, 2008

Missing my Baby

Mooning. I should be working, but, the white page is very inviting. No, the thoughts are not so easily formed. Not easily translated onto the page. The words. They will not say what the thoughts say.

I am missing my baby.

Should be with him, but aint. He is at home, and I am not with him.

Wonder what he is doing? Probably in the kitchen, cooking. Thin body in a cotton shirt. Sleeveless, stirring and playing with the fire. Does he like cooking, or does he cook for me? His sense of duty is tremendous, and I am the one person that he believes is the centre of his care. I don’t cook. Not much. So, I am always charged with washing the dishes. Like when I was a kid and the adults cooked. Except that we are both adults.

I love him.

Strange thing to say. We have been together, what, seven years. And I can still say that I love him. It is a comfortable love. I do not fear that he will get to see another of the thorns in my body and run away. He knows me all. Inside out. But he still stays with me.

Why does he love me?

I do not know. I am not very sure that I am that lovable.Selfish, a dreamer, self involved. Yet he does love me.

We are so different from one another, light and its absence, that it is incredible that we love one another. Sometimes I wonder, does he love me? But not when, like this morning, I wake up with him lying across from me. And I pull him close, and we move and nudge each other, trying to fit more comfortably into the other’s naked body. We are two individuals, but at that time, moment, we are one. Together. The bed cannot be too big, or too small. The world is nothing but him and I, together, in each others’ arms.

I hope he is not angry when I go back home.

Sometimes, he is angry at me. Refuses to say why. I stopped playing the guessing game, trying to figure out what was angering him. Can’t read his mind. Too hard, and we do not think alike. What angers me, makes him laugh. What I think minor, he thinks major.

And he still loves me.

I look forward to seeing him. When I get home, and I hold out my arms. He will come to me. He will hold me in his arms, I will hold him in my arms. I will drink in his scent, nuzzle in his nape. He seems to like it when I rub my rough chin on his, feeling his very special warmth and scent, his welcoming breath.

He is thin? Excellent, I was hoping you had a skinny boy, would have told you off if you'd been dating a fatso! No pot bellies allowed!

Go home GUG, leave work just for today. Go home!

I can't cook either. Neither can Hunk, we're doomed to a life of sandwiches :P

Who knows why he love you! Why does anyone love anyone? And you're one of the most self involved people ever! I reckon you're even more self involved than I am and that's some serious self involvement!

Maybe he doesn't tell you why he is angry because he can't find the right words. Sometimes that happens to me, or I'm angry at someone but I don't even want to tell them because I think they will think the reason is stupid, so I refuse to tell.

Rough chins are nice but I hope yours isn't rough enough to give stubble rash when you kiss!!

You're going to come back swearing like and Irish washerwoman!! Like a pirate! I'm going to be put to utter shame! My occasional fuck here and there won't even create the tiniest blip on the swearing radar when you're in the room!!

No problem Sis! I'll just take the opportunity to swear all the more, to cover for you :-) Just don't get a New Yorker accent cause I don't want to have to pull out my Steve Irwin/Crocodile Dundee accent to cover that!ooh you said bloody. I thought you was going to the USA not to AUS?

Well he should have been at work yesterday right? There wasn't a holiday was there? And anyway he's always at work and I think he also has internet at home. He should have seen these already and he hasn't replied to my email from like FOUR days ago!!! Maybe he got fired or something...

27th is worried you may be hurt by my obvious inability to understand that the above link may be offensive to your sweet sensitive nature. So, understand that I gave you the link because I was crying with laughter and wanted to share the joy! And if you are offended by it then...I DON'T CARE! Cause I found it fucking hilarious!!! Friends don't let friends worry about prostate cancer.

How DARE YOU!! Don't you realise we've been lying awake at night WORRYING ABOUT YOU!!!! You little fuck!!! You're not allowed to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about the fact that it is dangerous for you and THEN FUCKING PULL A DISAPPEARING ACT!!! What the hell were we going to start thinking?!?!?!?!?!

Okay, yes we did think that maybe you were having a nice enjoyable holiday but we didn't think you'd be as blindingly stupid not to have mentioned it at least once!!!

When I finally get my hands on you expect a bruise! And don't think I won't forget how we felt not knowing what happened to you! This will be my first official grudge! Damnnit Bro! You are thick! Maybe you should stop having sex for once and let some of that blood flow back to your brain!!

Robbery Report: Update on Kampala Taxis
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You remember, don’t you, that in the recent past we had taxi robberies in
Kampala. I wrote about it here.
Now, the law-enforcement people have come down har...