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September 13, 2014

Flaws & Strengths.

The Greatest of Flaws Within Me:

I find it so hard to trust people. We all have our hidden agendas. You are only inviting me because you'll then conveniently have a ride--You are only talking to me so you can meet your social goals, ect.

If I feel a heartbreak coming on, I'm going to make sure it's your heart breaking before you have a chance to break mine. I am a fighter. Not physically or verbally, but mentally. I build up my iron walls and then fire out my passive aggressive shots. I will ignore you and avoid you until you cave.

I am a jealous person. It is a conscious and continuous effort for me to get to the point of being genuinely happy for someone.

I am uncomfortable with myself and the personality that I own. There is always a quality or a trait in somebody I meet, that I wish I had in me. This goes back to the jealousy issue.

I am a ball of worries. A giant ball of stress. I am a bomb of anxiety ready to explode. Yes I cast all of my cares upon Jesus, but I still worry.

The Greatest of Strengths Within Me:

I am never too prideful or too afraid to write out a long, detailed text to a friend asking them for prayer. Every girl needs prayer warriors in her life who can pray specific things for them.

When I think of past memories, my "socio-emotional selectivity" kicks into full force, and I only remember the good things. It takes effort for me to remember the bad. (This can also act as a flaw, in that if my present life isn't going the way I wish it were, I can spend hours dwelling in memories of the past)

I would rather talk about you and what is going on in your life, than talk about me.

I love to live out my gift of hospitality. I love having people over, feeding them, providing them with drinks to quench their thirst, giving them a blanket if they're cold, and just making them feel comfortable.

I trust God. I fear, I worry, I complain, I cry, I get anxious, I get stressed, I get overwhelmed, I get scared, I say that I don't feel like God is here...but deep down, I do trust that God is the saviour of this world. It is the one thing I am sure of. He is the one CERTAIN thing in this UNCERTAIN world.