Psalm 118:17

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Read the miraculous story of my daughter, Emily at:

http://www.emilyspage.embarqspace.com

Emily, age 11; Summer, 2012

Valuable Lessons

In the early phases of my journey, I have to
admit, I got bogged down in details. I was desperate and fearful that I
was missing something important or wasn't doing something right. I prayed
to God for guidance, healing and strength to get through this, but I fought the
fight as if it all depended on me. It was a tremendous burden because I
felt that if I didn't "do it" right, I was as good as dead! I
was striving to do all I was told to do because my life depended on it.

You'd think I'd know better. Despite the
fact that I've been formally educated in theology and love the Lord with all my
heart and soul, I approached my battle like it was mine! Finally, after
much prayer the realization hit me that "the battle belongs to the Lord."
WOW! It's HIS battle and He is already the victor! Once God
does something, it's final. Done. He triumphed over the Enemy through the
Cross and won back everything that was lost to mankind in the Fall.

Lots of time was spent in my prayer tent trying
to discover what that truly meant. I believe it holds the key to my
healing. I've felt all along that God has my back no matter what decision
I make, but the recurrence wasn't exactly what I had in mind. However, it is
becoming something so much better and above anything I could imagine because it
has forced me to draw near to Him and actually have a real, personal, intimate
relationship with Him. Knowing Him is so much better than knowing about
Him. Being in a right relationship with God is healing!

In my meditation and prayer time, I was reminded
that God loves me better than any human can love me. His love is
unconditional and perfect, which should cast out all fear regarding His
intentions for me. God knows the plans He has for me, to prosper me and
not harm me and to give me a hope and a future. (Jer 29:11) I had to let
that sink in. He doesn't want to harm me. I grew up fearful of the God of
the lightning bolt, fire and brimstone. I didn't understand His character
and what that meant. He reminded me that Jesus healed EVERY sickness and
disease (Matt 4:23), that He was willing to heal and did heal ALL the sick that
came to Him. (Mark 1:41), that Jesus healed out of compassion for people (Matt
20:34), but a lack of faith in His hometown prevented miracles from
happening (Matt:13:58). I was also struck that in many of the healing
stories, Jesus asked the person to do something like stretch out their hand
(Mark 3:5) or get up and walk, or wash their eyes (John 9:6-7). Another
interesting observation I made was that sometimes when Jesus healed, he said
things like "your sins are forgiven." What in the world did
that have to do with physical healing? I also read how Jesus tried to heal one
guy and it didn't work the first time so He had to try again. (Mark 8:22)

I know from personal experience that God performs
miracles today. My daughter, Emily, was the recipient of a Divine healing that
has no medical explanation. Once you live it, you can not forget what He
has done! (Her story is on another web site at www.emilyspage.embarqspace.com)
I was really hoping that God would miraculously heal me like He did
Emily. But He had other plans for me.

I was reminded that every good and perfect gift
comes from God. So where do the bad and horrible things come from? Most
assuredly not my God! I discovered that God lets stuff happen so
that the work of God might be displayed in a person's life (John 9:3), which
leads me to believe that He really didn't want me to have to deal with certain
things, but when the Enemy brought it or when I did something to bring it on
myself, He allowed it to happen because He knew it would glorify Him in the
end. The beauty of God is that He's especially good at turning lemons into
lemonade. Every time things get messed up, God can use it, if I let Him,
and turn it into something beautiful. That's the key. If I let Him...

The stunning thing about learning all this
positive stuff about God is that what I believe will be the dominating theme in
my life. Every promise of God is available to me if I will do the part
God asks me to do. Because of what Jesus has already done, I have already
overcome cancer! (1John4:4, 1Pet.2:24). Where my mind goes, I will
follow. Do I believe my beliefs? Do I believe in God's character
and nature? Then I need to live that way and act that way. And I have
chosen to do just that.

I have
decided that I will take care of what He has given me, my body, my temple, and
I will let the healing up to God. I won't allow my mind to be troubled. I
will give the sacrifice of praise and obedience to God. When He leads, I will
follow in faith, trusting and believing He will bless my obedience and fulfill
His promises to me. (Heb 11:8) I released this cancer problem to Him and
let it go. I deliberately stopped worrying and trying to figure it all
out. I am letting God take care of it. (Ps 37:5) In the meantime, I am
curling up on His lap, getting to know Him better, basking in His Love, asking
Him to transform me into the person He created me to be and looking forward to
what He will do. I am allowing Him to restore me. (Psalm 119:37, 38)