YouTube Star Who Swam In, Ate Cereal Out Of Her Bathtub Is Interviewing Barack Obama

You take a pause during your work day to take stock of our nation. It seems like we’re doing pretty good, all things considered.

Sure, we have our share of problems, but what world power doesn’t? You start to think everything is okay and the future is bright for these United States of America.

Then you learn that a YouTube phenomenon named GloZell is interviewing President Barack Obama at 5 p.m. You dive deeper, wondering what this delightful lady is all about.

And you find this.

Yup, that is GloZell pretending she’s a Fruit Loop and cannibalizing her own in a milk-filled bathtub.

You wonder who would watch this. Then you see the video has almost 10 million views.

Seeking clarity, you walk the streets. Peace does not come. For every answer you find, a dozen more questions arise.

And then … well then you just accept that this is an event actually happening in the real world. But you feel compelled to tell someone — to tell everyone — that this is where we are as a nation.

So you write a blog post about it. It goes pretty well until you get to the end and you’re supposed to give your take on the whole thing.

Your mind goes blank. Why? Because you’ve just watched seven minutes of an interesting-looking lady writhe around in cereal. Then you realize it doesn’t matter. No one reading has gotten this far anyway. Who could possibly go on reading like they haven’t seen the most life-altering images available on the internet?

So you end it. Your life isn’t as happy as it was 10 minutes ago.

But you remember you’re an American and you have a duty to persevere. So you try, dammit. You try real damn hard not to let this change you.