Richi Rich The iPhone 7

Richi Rich The iPhone 7 Parody

Jarvis Leicester (CEO):
The perfect phone has to be used by the perfect customer. We here at Apple don’t really give a fuck what people think. And that’s why we didn’t really change anything from the previous iPhone or the one before that, or the one before that, or the one before that, or the one before that.

But we did remove the headphone jack. This was essential to sell our new AirPods for £160. We knew that people would buy them.

The new iPhone 7 comes in two different colors, men and women, not to assume your gender.

Dual Dickpics

And of course with the new iPhone you can now take dual dick pics with the new dual camera that we installed, which was totally our idea.

100% Original*

This is also the first water-resistant iPhone, which is marvelous, because as you know, everyone buys iPhones to put them in a glass of water or in the shitter. And we know that many of you have asked for a larger battery, which is why we’ve installed stereo speakers. As always we’ve done it again and created the best iPhone there is.