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Monday, September 10, 2012

MOVIE WHAT? MONDAY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

A movie is going to be made about your life. Who should play you as an adult?
As many of you already know, in real life I am Lorelai Gilmore. Therefore, you may think that the actress who portrayed me on television should be me in the movie.

But Lauren Graham is busy with her new TV series, Parenthood. She doesn't have time to play me in The Story of Janie Junebug: A Dumped First Wife Who Became Incredibly Cool Following Her Divorce.

So, who should play me? She needs to be an actress who can convey my sensuality, intelligence, and love of good grammar.

I think I have the answer.

Christina Hendricks, who plays Joan on Mad Men. She has the smile, the hair that's the same color as Favorite Young Man's and The Hurricane's, and she definitely has the boobs.

Oh, yeah, She has the boobs.

Christina Hendricks is my choice to play me.

Now, what about you? Who should play you as an adult?Infinities of love,Janie Junebug

Well, since Sophia Loren is a little too old to play me, I'm thinking maybe Sandra Bullock or Susan Sarandon. I would go for Julia Roberts but hubby doesn't like her and my lips are not that big. I know, how about Anne Hathaway? She'd be perfect.Btw, are those fake boobs or what? Any higher and they would be in her throat. :)

Sophia is getting old, but she has aged like a fine wine; you will do the same. Susan is probably a little too old to be you. Sandy or Anne seem like good choices. If you are referring to Christina's boobs, then I am convinced they are as real as mine, which means they are very real. Christina and I like push-up bras and showing off our cleavage. Mine is to die for.

Christina Hendricks is perfect for you! Who should play me? I have no idea. Meryll Streep? I'm kind of classic, and so is she. But I'm a lot younger than her. So maybe Sandra Bullock? I just don't know. Who do you think?

The person who plays you has to have a very sweet appearance in order to capture you at all. Meryl is too old. Can Sandy look sweet? I think she either does silly or very serious. Sweet . . . sweet . . . how do you feel about Anne Hathaway?

What a fun question! Too bad I can't think of a snappy answer. When I was young, people told me I looked like (a) Sandra Dee, (b) Cheryl Ladd, (c) Florence Henderson, and (d) Quasimodo. (My brother was ticked off at me at the time.) Nowadays, I dunno. Sally Fields with blonde hair, maybe? Joan Rivers without all the plastic surgery? Quasimodo? Hmmm, like I said, a fun question.

I always enjoyed watching old Sandra Dee movies. Too bad she's too dead to play you. I haven't seen Cheryl Ladd in a long time. I've heard that Sally Fields is very nasty in person. That leaves Florence Henderson, who is pretty and seems sweet and your movie can be a musical. I think I look like Quasimodo in the white sweater I was wearing for the photo at the top of my blog. I run around screaming "sanctuary" all the time.