Good afternoon graduates, family, and
friends.When I was invited to be the
guest speaker, I didn’t know what to talk about.I’ve become well-known for being a bit of a
rebel.I got my big break because of a
viral YouTube video, which to be honest, showed me in a bit of an unflattering
light.Talking about how to make a name
for yourself professionally after being caught performing acrobatic feats in a
shopping mall while intoxicated may make for a memorable speech, but it’s
hardly appropriate for a high school setting.It was wicked fun, though.

To help me come up with ideas for an
appropriate speech, I looked to your class motto “The Road Less Traveled.”It makes sense given the name of your
soon-to-be alma mater.I’m betting this
theme has been touched upon by numerous classes that came before you and will
continue to be used long into the future.You may even be sick of hearing it after all these years and chose it
out of a sense of obligation.It pays
tribute to your school, after all.It
also fits the theme of the day.

Graduating means choosing a new path to
take in life, and this is bound to be the first real decision in that regard most
of you have made.Up until now, you’ve
been at the whim of your parents.That
helplessness may have come with a sense of frustration as you yearned to spread
your wings and soar, but it also brought with it a sense of security.You’ve had people to catch you when you
fall.You knew which steps to take
next.You’ve gone from one grade to the
next, safe in the knowledge of what you needed to do.Go to class.Get good grades.Choose an
extracurricular activity or two.Find an
after-school job.There were elements of
choice sprinkled throughout, of course, but failure didn’t necessarily spell
disaster, no matter how much it may have felt that way.

Gearing up to go into the larger world,
though.That’s when consequences really
start to feel real.When I was your age,
I was shaking in my shorts with anxiety, though I played it cool.The sheer number of options and lack of
guarantees seem daunting.Still, you can
look to others and seek advice from the adults in your life.You’ll hear plenty of people suggesting you
attend a certain college and study a certain field that has proven to be
lucrative.Others will suggest studying
a trade or following in the footsteps of family members.Which path should you follow?

People always suggest out-of-the-box
thinking, but they usually want you to do it within the confines of a normal,
comfortable career.Maybe you find that
path appealing, or maybe it seems too confining for you.Perhaps you hear the stories of successful entrepreneurs
who bucked the system and got mega rich, as I unintentionally did, and feel
inspired to go that route.And why
not?The comfortable, safe careers are still
subject to economic downturns and shifts in consumer demographics and
moods.The safe careers can also result
in you being kicked to the curb with little warning, which runs counter to the
reasons many give for choosing those career paths in the first place.

So yeah, why not get onto the road less
traveled and hack your way through the underbrush to create a life for yourself?I’ll give you one good reason not to do it.It’s hard.Really, really hard.

There’s a reason the road less traveled
is designated as such.It’s a desolate
place to be.A dangerous place with even
less guarantee of success or safety as the more stable, so-called respectable
career paths.This road less traveled is
overgrown with obstacles that can twist your metaphorical ankle and leave you
hobbling and at the mercy of vultures who would happily pick the flesh from
your bones.

Great imagery, right?

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t go that
route if you feel you must. It still
might be the right option for you.Not
all of us fit happily into the molds well-worn paths would have us live in.Some of us royally suck at being normal. I know I do.However, if you’re going to take the road less travelled, you need to be
prepared for failure.

Failure is not an abstract concept in the
real world.It’s a legitimate, and even
likely, possibility with painful consequences.Everything costs money, and when you run out of money, needless to say, it
can put a crimp in your life.You need
to embrace the possibility of massive failure and everything that comes with it.You need to be ready to push through terrible
circumstances and learn from them so you can stand on your own two feet again.That failure can be a badge of honor if
you’re strong enough to bounce back from it.Sure, it feels crappy and makes you want to quit, but that’s part of
life.

So yeah, do what you think is best for you,
and be prepared for life to chew you up and spit you out from time to time.Does this count as an inspirational speech?Probably not, but I never aspired to be an
inspiring person.Shi . . . I mean, heck,
I used to be the cautionary tale parents used to keep their kids in line.Look at me now!Don’t let past screw-ups keep you down.

Bearing that in mind, what do you think
the odds are of me being invited back to speak next year?

Your WEP posts are always such a pleasure to read! A great speech and if they have any sense, they will invite the speaker back again.

'Talking about how to make a name for yourself professionally after being caught performing acrobatic feats in a shopping mall while intoxicated may make for a memorable speech, but it’s hardly appropriate for a high school setting...Some of us royally suck at being normal.' - Loved those bits especially, though I'm not sure what that says about me :)

It is good to speak from experience and share what you think is worthwhile for the young. It is hard to give advice about life because as you indicate there are really no guarantees that if you follow any road it will all work out the way you hoped. Have to be prepared for the unexpected.

How could it beTho a great speechThe truth is hard to seeEverything been handedHow could it not be freeThey’ll lesion to your wordsLaughing on the way homeShe’s trying to scaring usSo they'll won’t ever roamIt’ll be too late for themTheir parents have gone

A reality speech gets more attention than a lofty blah blah blah same old same old. Whether she is asked to return may hinge on the attitudes of the teachers, and administrators. An inventive take on the prompt!