‘really how you feel?

My Opinion : I’m sure we’ve all come across the term “Angry/strong black woman” even if you’ve never been in contact with or personally known a black woman(which I don’t think is possible but.. you never know, I’ve come across strange things like “is Africa a country?” so things seldom surprise me anymore), anyway you’ve probably heard it (at least in the movies). And YES I AGREE WITH IT. “How can you say that? You’re a black lady yourself” Well yess!! More reason I should know. “You can’t speak for every single black woman out there, have you met everyone?” well, I draw my conclusions based on majority.

Society has made it a point to marginalize and objectify women, since..I don’t even know how long now. Now being black on top of being marginalized, objectified, along with so many other things, that puts us at the very bottom of the food chain. Imagine being looked down on for things you literally have no control over: skin colour, hair texture, nose shape e.t.c Features that in my opinion are beyond beautiful if not that collective and mainstream thinking has become a venom in minds. And I know there’s more to a person than looks, but “they” have made it a point to make judgements by looks. —-> must watch!!!!

Anyway over the years after going through so much became reactive, this reaction emulated by the next generation of women, and then the next, has become a cycle where we feel like we need to defend ourselves from “the Wolves”. Then going on to segmenting and picking out a group, that you place above the rest or you now point out as better, thus putting us against each other; and you know how things work, somehow over time it escalated to the point where the standard is light skin and everyone else wants to meet that standard, but I won’t dwell on that too much because the skin colour thing is not just a black women’s issue, Asian women want to be lighter too, it’s more of a west against the rest issue. Look I can go on for days about this but I’ll just turn my sentiments into an article [hopefully that’ll be up soon]. So in fending for ourselves in a world that sees our “different” as unappealing and has constantly abused our worth and imposed an unnecessary inferiority complex that now won’t leave, of course we’re considered angry, I guess that’s right! I mean you can’t continue to be attacked and at some point not switch to attack mode yourself.

(P.S this is not meant in a demeaning way at all, i couldn’t be prouder of my roots/heritage this is just my honest opinion of why we’re perceived as strong and no nonsense taking)

2nd Notion: Do whatever makes you happy

My opinion: to a very great extent I believe in the statement, but I will reconstruct it to DO WHATEVER KEEPS YOU HAPPY. Because, people take this statement and others of such nature, and run with it unknowingly ruining their lives. I try to consider “does it bring me temporary happiness,” “would this temporary happiness cause me long term sorrow/unhappiness” in all things weigh your options, if after that is done the scale is balanced or even if unbalanced, only a little tilted to your detriment (very very little I advise), then go for it!

3rd Notion: “Starbucks is life,” “Forever 21 or die,” “iPhone or no Phone”

My Opinion: Most branded things, to be quite honest, they are really only slightly different than generic items, sometimes it’s the same quality of raw material, same production process all that, the difference though is the illusion that brands give. I have to hold it down one time for #teamiPhone though, they are of better quality than most of their counterparts especially in camera quality. In any case, it really is just the way society is set up to imitate and follow patterns. As proposed by Thorstein Veblen, human beings tend to emulate the consumption pattern of the upper class. Now, who is the upper class of our time? –celebrities, what do they consume, purchase, wear e.t.c? – branded products . So when you use what they are using it’s a certain psychological status it gives you. It’s a certain part of self worth invested in branded possession, if you notice when we have these branded things we don’t just want to have them for having sake, we want others to know. I’m not against having these things now, as a matter of fact I buy heavily into the illusion and it’s sad (nonetheless, I’m working on myself, it’s a process x_x). I’m only saying, for the sake of putting the fact out there. Whatever you do with this truth is up to you!

4th Notion: ”You’re getting mad about something so small” or “it’s not that serious/deep”

My opinion: Everyone has their own set of priorities and stuff, so.. I feel like everybody should be allowed freedom of anger (no violence though #holyanger lool) freedom of depth, freedom of whatever. People try to invalidate other people’s feelings and priorities for no reason other than “it’s too small,” “it’s not possible” and other statements of the sort. Who’s to say what should be a big deal to another person. We must try not to invalidate other people’s opinions or feelings or whatever because they don’t correlate with how we reason or feel. I should be Exhibit A though, because I do this quite a lot, I’m usually like “is that something to cry about?” or “is that why you’re mad?” but in fact if it means that much to someone then let them be. For males, they develop this thing where they have to act like they don’t care(even if they do) they’ve been made to feel, their lives have been patterned and the ideal man is nothing short of strong and care free. But in my opinion no, you define your truth, and choose what’s of importance to you.

It’s crazy you know, how we know certain things or believe certain things or actually utter them, but in real life situations, we somehow just don’t apply them. I’ve really being thinking “why?” once I can think of at least a reason, I’ll be sure to “spill the tea” haa!

Anyway something to think about: speaking of invalidation and the like, I feel like all 7 billion of us are in a box, not literally, because of course literally we’re in a sphere. But we’re in this box, and because there are more gadgets available to us, faster ways to do things e.t.c we think we’re moving forward, but we’re really not, we’re moving in circles, probably even moving to smaller circles with each circumference we complete. Once anyone tries to get us out the cycle and moving to a straight path so we can move forward, “the forces that be” and even just us regular people draw the fellow back, either with things like “you can’t do that,” “it’s always you,” “society/our culture doesn’t accept that,” just generally things that connote “fit in or nothing.” I mean, I don’t personally wish to change the world, but it’s good that we don’t be bound in ignorance and mental slavery. There is strength in numbers!! But lowkey though, the club going up on Tuesday is more important.. right?

I’m sure you all have your own opinions on the notions up there, and if you don’t, start forming your own opinions; even if for a start on simple issues: gather information, develop confidence in your ideas and all that good stuff. I really hope you enjoyed my mini philosophy session haa! Let me know what you think about these things, comment or contact me (check the about page for my contact info) if you have any issues you’d like me to address in subsequent blogs. PLEASE SHARE THIS POST, LIKE AND FOLLOW MY BLOG, more interesting stuff to come. Happy Holidays!! Till next time!