Unless you sent your regrets with something like "I'm sorry, I'd love to, but we're going to be in Australia that entire month" or "thanks so much for thinking of me, but I really can't make it across the ocean to your wedding," being busy Saturday afternoon doesn't say anything about Friday evening. Even if you did explain that while you would love to attend, you're going to be 3,000 miles away for a month, that information might not be passed along if a third party already had the list of invitees. (The guest who can't attend the wedding because their child is performing in Oklahoma! might be able to get a friend or neighbor to take that child to the dress rehearsal.)

Midnight Kitty:

--- Quote from: Thipu1 on July 25, 2013, 09:37:19 AM ---I don't know how these things work but it seems there was plenty of time for the parents of the Bride to communicate to the parents of the Groom which guests had already sent regrets and have those guests removed from the rehearsal dinner list. At the very least it would save time and postage.--- End quote ---I don't see why this should have been coordinated. Parents of the Bride wish to invite people to the wedding and Parents of the Groom wish to invite people to the rehearsal dinner. They are not necessarily the same people. Just because someone can't attend the wedding doesn't mean they don't want to be involved in the wedding in any way, shape, or form. In fact, it could be that the Parents of the Groom discovered that you sent regrets to the Parents of the Bride because you would not be able to attend the wedding and thought, "Well, maybe they can make the rehearsal dinner and still share in this special event."

*inviteseller:
Thipu, I am with you on finding this humorous. If you send regrets to a wedding, why keep inviting you to all the events of the weekend, especially if you are from out of town? Also, as I have said before, I worked in the social stationery business for 13 years, so we did a lot of wedding related invitations, and one of our biggest wonders was the rehearsal dinner having turned into a big to do. Typically, rehearsal dinners are for the HC, their parents, grandparents, and the bridal party. I remember one we did where the mother of the groom was inviting over 100 people to a fairly formal dinner for the rehearsal and we were a bit flabbergasted..almost like a pre reception.

Thipu1:
I thank you, invite seller,

We aren't offended at all by the invitation. Amused might be a better term. It was well produced and thoughtful. We appreciate the thought and wish the HC well but there is no way we will be attending anything connected to this Wedding.

We live about 2000 miles away from the festivities. Everything is being held on a major holiday weekend. We've figured out the the Bride is the daughter or ( more likely) grand daughter of a cousin of MIL's no. Three sister's second husband.

Can our decision not to attend be understood?

We don't think this is a gift grab. Knowing how large and convoluted the family is, we think it's more likely that they don't want to offend by leaving anyone out.

jpcher:

--- Quote from: Thipu1 on July 27, 2013, 07:45:36 PM ---We live about 2000 miles away from the festivities. Everything is being held on a major holiday weekend. We've figured out the the Bride is the daughter or ( more likely) grand daughter of a cousin of MIL's no. Three sister's second husband.