Archive for November, 2012

Howdy!
Another December, another 31 Days Challenge!
I’ll be putting something up every single day; tales, rants, exposés.
Decided to start this month with this story by a regular writer on P. Pages.
Dionysus is here!
Hehehehe!

666 Park Avenue

What will you give to get what you want in this life? What will you sacrifice to receive what it is you crave? Your hearts desire, Your longing? What will you do to fill that void inside of you? That deep vortex of nothingness spiraling within you, weaving its webs to entwine you in a world where getting what you want leads to the absence of wanting it? We hear stuff like selling your soul to the devil but are we to take it literally? I mean is there a real contract where someone could actually sign and lose their soul?

“Good Morning Sir. Welcome to 666 park avenue. How can I help you?”

“Hello, erm… can I get a room please, I’m only staying for the weekend.”

“Sure, just a minute.. Here you go sir, room 1407.. These men there will help you with your luggage”

“Thanks…”

666 Park Avenue was like no other Hotel. I would call it a 6 star hotel if there was such a word. Built by billionaire Russian oil mogul Sir Avanus Kavchenko, He aimed at creating a hotel made solely for the elite of society.

The name was no coincidence either.

Take the licentiousness of sin city (Vegas), multiply it by a 100 and 666 park avenue was what you got. His aim was to create a haven where the wealthy people of society came to indulge in whatever sick twisted fantasy they had. A place where they could actually use their money to get what it is they wanted rather than more materialistic crap to fill the void. Poor people usually cannot comprehend the sick twisted thoughts of the rich but believe me, if a wealthy man is jerking off to toad porn, he is justified. He has reached a point where he can’t feel anything anymore and the everyday life of humans has become very strange and unstimulating to him.

As they helped Jack with his luggage, he saw two smoking hot girls at the reception making out completely naked. He had seen them before on TV. They were Supermodels. They caught him staring and they both turned to look at him with smiles on their faces before they continued their make out session. As he was making his way to the elevator, he heard the sound of an animal coming from a room. As he peaked through the door, he saw a pig bound, its arms and legs tied with ropes stretching from the four ends of the room leaving it suspended in mid air. He also saw a man fucking the pig hard from behind causing it to ‘oink’ in agony. He looked into another room and saw an old woman probably in her 60’s giving fellatio to a boy that looked not older than 8 years. Jack finally reached the elevator and as he stood there with the two hefty men by his side carrying his luggage, his mind went back to the grotesque images he just saw. The elevator door closed.

“So what goes on around here?”

“What doesn’t?” The two men laughed

Jack had heard about 666 park avenue from friends. He was a young man in his early 20’s working at Wall Street. He wasn’t freaky but let’s face it, every one of us have sick twisted fantasies that play in our minds every now and then. He decided to go to 666 park avenue to see what really goes on in there, probably indulge in a fantasy of his.

As the elevator reached his floor, he could smell something pungent coming from a room. Fumes came from underneath the door and from the smell, he could tell it was a narcotic; crack, probably heroin or cocaine freebased.

“Guess who’s in that room?”

“Who?”

“Pastor Nolan!”

Everyone knew Pastor Nolan. He had a very big church, his congregation was huge and he had sermons broadcast on TV every Sunday.

“Wow! that’s crazy…”

“Crazy? You ain’t seen nothing yet… Here you are Sir”

“Thanks, and call me Jack”…

“Sure Jack”

As he entered the room, it was as if he traveled back in time. The room was like something from the 16th Century. The artwork was vintage, so was the furniture. There was something very gothic about the room, as if a vampire once lived there. As he entered the bedroom, he saw a very beautiful girl lying naked on the bed. She looked like a mix of Egyptian and American blood . Her skin was glowing bronze like she had a tan, long black hair covering her shoulder blades and brushing her dark perky nipples.

“Come to me baby”

Jack couldn’t help himself.

This isn’t some movie where the hero sees a hot chick naked on the bed and doesn’t fuck her. Nope it Isn’t that scene where the hero passes up free pussy just to save the day.

In reality, the day don’t need to be saved….

Jack’s boner was tugging at his trouser and he quickly took off all his clothes and dived into bed with the goddess he saw in front of him. Her smell was like sunshine and fresh gardens. Her moans made him forget every thought in his head. The touch of her flesh was so soothing and rubbery to his palms that they went over every part of her body caressing and groping. He felt so warm inside of her, the air Conditioning cooling their skins while he thrusted deep into her.

“Madeline, what goes on around here in the creeeepy 666 park avenue?”

“Anything you want baby”

“Anything is kinda nothing.. Give me an example”

She brought out a spliff from the drawer near the bed and lit it…

“What I’m saying babe is if you have the right amount of cash, you could watch Rihanna get fucked by a horse right in front of you while you jerk off”

“Haha! that’s extreme, it don’t sound possible… Gimme that”

He took a drag from the reefer

“What if I want to pee in Beyonce’s mouth?”

“That can be arranged”…

“What of Jay-Z?”

“You want him too?”

“What I’m saying is that if by some weird way he found out, won’t he be pissed?”

“There are things you don’t understand about this world dear, many things”

“Do tell, enlighten me, as it is right now, I am not leaving this room till tomorrow plus this your pot is top quality.. Where did you get it from?”

“They get it from Afghanistan. If you want some, I could get for you at the lobby”

“Nah, Later Madeline, right now, open my mind to the things which I do not understand about this world.. The many many many many things”

“L.O.L. it ain’t a joke.. I’m serious”

“Alright…tell”

“The long and short of it is that anyone you see on TV or in a magazine or you hear on radio or see in the newspaper all belong to a secret society. The owner of this hotel is a top ranking member of that society”

“The Illuminati?”

“No dear, all that Illuminati stuff is what they use to distract people from the truth”

“What truth?”

“This secret society has one aim and one aim only. To make more money. How do they do this? Turn on your Television, everything you hear and see is tailored to get you to spend your money. EVERYTHING! The party life, drinking, fucking, clubbing all day, shallow thrills are what they tell you to chase on TV. They make it seem cool to do these things but its all an illusion. Their aim is for you to spend your money. You chase that shallow life so you’re forever in a state of getting what you don’t want so you keep buying and buying and buying trying to fill the void”

“Hmmmm.. Makes a little sense. What of the Rihanna bestiality, how does that work?”

“As long as you appear in the media, the people in this secret society are free to use you for whatever they please. Yeah you see celebs with the glitz and the glamour and you’d be like ‘I want to be like them’ but honey, thats a deathwish. If Tom Cruise was needed to eat someone’s faeces, it can be arranged by this secret society. It’s in their contract. This society is free to use them for whatever they please and in return they’d give them fame, recognition and a small piece of the wealth. They are like puppeteers. Anyone right from the politicians to the president to the actors to the musicians to the pastors to the terrorists… anyone you see in the media all belong to this secret society”

“Wow”

“Yeah.. There are many rich folks underground who prefer to stay incognito. These folks don’t give to charity so they have excess cash floating around. If they consult the secret society, they can make all their fantasies come true with the right amount of money. Even celeb deaths are preplanned. A customer might decide he wants to kill a celebrity for kicks. If he pays, they allow him to do whatever he pleases with the celebrity. The agreement in the contract states that he must kill the celeb when he is done. When you hear of the death of a celebrity on the news, the story is fake and scripted. The celeb died at the hands of a rich customer in some secret chamber probably weeks before you heard it on the news.. Tupac, Aaliyah, Lisa Left eye Lopes, Biggie, Heath Ledger, MJ, They all died in the chamber and how the media told us they died is a sham”
“This is a lot to process.. Its either you’re really stoned or you’re making a lot of sense”

“Both! I’m telling you the truth. I’m not supposed to but I don’t know why I feel the need to tell you…”

“So how much will it take for me to sodomize Beyonce?”

“That’ll be around $200 million”

“For a night?”

“Yeah”

“That expensive?”

“Dude a particular guy paid close to that amount for Kim Kardashian 3 times .. God knows what he did with her”

“Kim?”

“You surprised? Of all the girls, are you surprised Kim is part of the society.. You seen her sextape? That was some gay Korean dude who paid the secret society cause he wanted to see RayJ’s cock. When the other members of the society saw the tape, Kim was immediately noticed for her fat ass. They paid good money for her. She’s one of those girls who has taken it in all holes and I’m not just talking about the ones she uses to ‘pee’ and ‘poo’

“Hahaha! SHit… Fucking hilarious! I think I’m gonna pass out from this herb though.. It’s gonna be a fun day tomorrow… Goodnight.

He woke up and she was gone. There was a note on the pillow where she slept.“Follow the Yellow Brick Road”
Jack woke up refreshed on a Saturday morning, ready to explore what 666 park avenue had in store for him. Not wasting any time, he got up and began his journey….

END

Trivia – The title 666 park avenue is from a recent TV series that got scraped from ABC

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Tomorrow, No idea what will come up! Lol.
Just a general consensus. What would you like me to talk about?
Give me your ideas in the Comment section and ifit’s wacky/sensible enough, I’ll do it and credit the post of the day to you!

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Hello!
Today is Wednesday! (Just in case you tend to forget what day it is like me) and today, we have another writer gracing this blog.
Larries and genrumen, Say hello to @Achi_va.
Hope you enjoy!

ONWU NWATA

They smiled while we cried.
We went hungry, they laughed at us starve.
Our needs fed their egos; we were lead out like errant sheep to the fields.
They butchered us like rams; we were after all less human.

‘Bring the infidels here, let their skin crawl.
Let us gaze upon their diseased skulls.’

I long for the days of joy, and nights when we watched the stars flicker.

To the emptiness we were condemned.
Fields of hate cultivated in our hearts.
They must never see my tears.
Carrying artillery twice my fragile frame,
Thrust in the path of blood, I saw the devil eye to eye.
He was black, clad in uniform and wore camouflage just like me.

INTERLUDEOh ye son of Solomon, where art thou riches? Where art thou maidens? Where art thou crown?
————
I was scared beyond measure, shivering where I stood.
Could he be talking to me?
Was I the object of his scorn?
————-Bastard child of the most high, Thee have lost thy place. Cast away from father’s presence; Ye are nothing but gentile to him now.

***
My feet were sore, my soul frightened.
We were children forced to fight the war of men.
The battlefield was stained with the blood of children.
I heard war cries in the distance.
‘Screeches of pain’ he groaned in the sand.
One leg gone, one arm gone and yet he could still smile.
His name was Ikenna; ‘I will be a doctor one day’ he’d once told me.
He dreamed of a life beyond the war; I saw the life drain from his eyes.

INTERLUDE‘Amobi get under the bed, whatever happens, don’t come out’ I watched as they slid into her, one, two, three and four. I counted them as they took turns, I could see her and she me. I saw it in her eyes, emotions words couldn’t convey. She whispered; I couldn’t hear her feeble attempts at speech. They left and took her eyes with them, those of her heart and those on her face. She no longer looked upon the world; she saw the world for what it truly was. She died in my arms. It was then I decided I would die for BIAFRA.

***
We fought for freedom they said,
For they butchered our brothers and raped our sisters till they bled air.
They fed our mothers to dogs and the phallus of father to son.
All will be well; we just have to kill our enemies.
The world is our oyster; we can fuck it up however we please.
I am the voice of an ignorant generation.
We are one they say,
But can unity be forged on the blood of infants?
I am man now, but I will never forget.

EPILOGUE

Ramblings of a sedated eunuch,
The rants of the evil godmother,
The ideas that come to my mind when heart is asleep.

Tread carefully child for the path is one of poisonous thorns and sinking sand.
The purple berries, though shining bright in the morning, will turn venomous serpents at night.
My heart needs succour and my soul respite.

The paranoia eases to the surface, I am terrified by things I cannot see.
I inhale hope and yet puke uncertainty.

I see obscenities in my sleep; they’re why I never go to bed.
For I see most clearly when my eyes are shut.
I hate me with menacing rage.

My anger will destroy me; you will be there to see it.
My self-pity will engulf my senses, yes I know it.
I keep looking over my shoulder; my senses are such a mess.
I touch when I want to smell.
See when I want to hear.
Hear when I need to touch.
I see enemy and call friend.
I tried to get a whiff of the gunpowder and found myself here.

End.

DISCLAIMER: NOT HUMANI recently read Chimamanda’s ‘HALF OF A YELLOW SUN’. I know I know; my last is epic shey? Hold your horses’ people. These are excerpts of some of the thoughts that filtered through the pages of the book while I read. I am Yoruba by the way, not that it matters.Rise above the shackles of ethnicity.

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Decided to add the disclaimer that came with the story because I liked it. Lol.
Hope you enjoyed that!
Some sad news people! Phantom Pages didn’t win the Best Writing blog at the Nigerian Blog Awards. Lol.
Better luck next year!
Congratulations to all the winners! The Sarcastic Centre that gave me reasons to laugh this year, I love you guys running it. Bless your souls for the deserved win!

Might not be writing anything till January. Well not stories anyway.
Was going to do a series for December but decided to shelve the thought.
For December, I’ll probably do a 30 days challenge. People tell me what they want me to talk about everyday and I’ll write on it.
They’ll be my views of course.
If you want me to rant, give me rant topics!
Anyway, I will let you all know when the time comes.

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Hey people!
Been a bit quiet here hasn’t it? First post of November yea?
Decided to take a little break from writing anything serious, sorry. Taking my time to do more reading. Maybe I’ll recommend some books on here soon!
The good news is that I’d be putting up some of my old stories and some other random posts all lifted off my Facebook notes. Lol.

Anyway, today I have a new writer here, trying out his hands at the whole blogging thing! His handle, @volturi_lord and his blog would be kicking off at http://naijadude.wordpress.com/
For today, we have a poem (or spoken word type of thing).
Enjoy!

Memoirs of a Cobra.

I slither through the opening into the sandy place.

Down in the corner, there’s a place of shade

Where I can rest from the sun’s scorching heat.

There’s a clang which startles me.

The wall under which I passed has opened

And towards me walks two high animals.

The ones that have plagued me right from birth,

Pursuing me with sticks and stones, trying to kill me.

I raise my head and look towards them.

They stop in their tracks, spotting me at the same instant.

They make sounds and move about frantically.

Out of the tall stone another one comes, something long protruding from his hands.

Stones land around me and I move to avoid them.

I spit out of fear and anger;

Fear for my life and anger at their hostility.

I make it to the wall which opens and I slither underneath,

Into that long ground of stone

Which goes on and on and on.

Something heavy hits my body and I can no longer move.

They make more sounds and increase in numbers.

These high animals that have broken me.

My head in raised in agitation and in pain, I spit.

Also, in desperation too as I need to get away.

I try but I can’t move.

It’s surprising.

Its like they have divided me in two,

And I’m joined together by piece of hide and flesh.

There is a whirling sound and an iron animal comes.

It stops and from it two of the higher animals alight.

They stand with the others, multiplying themselves every second

A little distance away; my spit can’t reach them,

Why are they so hostile?

Why do they hate me so?

All I want is a cool place to rest and now I am bruised.

He comes towards me, walking on two sticks

Another is protruding from him: it is flat with a sharp looking edge

I spit at him and he does the same.

This disconcerts me and I turn away.

Then he brings the sharp edge against my neck …

– Dankaro

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That is it!
What do you think? Anyone had snake experiences before? Share!
A thank you to @volturi_Lord for the contribution!
If anyone considers themselves to be good at writing and has something I can use here, do get at me via Twitter, @weird_oo and we’d take it from there. 😀

I’ll see you soon!
Tee Hee!

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This isn’t a story; a musing of some sort.
Listening to Disappear by Hoobastank and my eyes are suddenly becoming teary. No, I am not sad. Wistful.
The first time i heard this song, I was about 15 and it was on Rickdees.
I still remember how reality faded as I listened to the lyrics.“Do you know that every time your near, everybody else is far away?”
No, i wasn’t a teenager in love. I had no love then but these words moved me.
I remember i recorded the song. I’ll sit in my room, phone in hand, listening to Disappear. Hot Sunday afternoon, aunt in the kitchen screaming my name. I would hear no one.“Make them disappear. Make them disappear!”
I would mutter these words like a mantra.
Make them disappear.
I love it when songs have these kinds of effect on me.
Another song that reminds me of these teenage years, Sugar We’re going down by Fall Out Boy.
This was more jaunty. I would kick my feet in the air and do an air tap dance to the beats.
My aunt would come in and switch off the radio and order me into the kitchen. I just pilfer her phone and I am back on Rickdees.

The Reason by Hoobastank would come on and I’ll find myself crying. Again, i didn’t have a love or some broken relationship. There was just this sadness i could detect in the lyrics.“I’ve found a reason for me, to change who i used to be. A reason to start over now. And the reason is you”
Yes, i used to tell myself that if i eventually had a boyfriend and he hurt me, if he sang this song to me, I’ll forgive him. Not sure about that now; might still be the same. Or not.

Another one was Photograph by Nickleback. This, i first heard with my dad. One of the few memories i remember of him listening to a song with me in silence. Normally, he’ll switch it to something else. When the song ended, heard him murmuring “Good bye, good bye” and i had a funny smile on my face.
It was cute.
This song also touched me because I always had this fear of leaving my classmates after school. And this song was about reminiscing on old days.
Funny thing is i am listening to it now and remembering old school days. My friends and I would listen faithfully to the radio, waiting for whatever rock song got played. We’d write it down and come to class, singing and making up out own words.
Children of the Radio. Faithful to the stereo.
We never eve touched that dial.
Ah.
Disappear is playing again.
I should sleep.