Deep Inside Ronald, Baby (Pool)

You walk into a room that's dimly and eerily lit by lights deep under the murky water of a long-disused swimming pool. You can barely make out a couple of doors on either of the long sides of the pool. You reach out to dip a toe in the murky water, and a voice from behind you makes you jump sky-high. You whirl around and see a very old elf with a very large mustache, wearing a very small bathing suit.

"Naw, it's wonderful!" he says. "There are these big alien eggs down there, and when I swim down to 'em, it makes me feel young again! My diabeetus doesn't bother me at all after a good long swim. You should join me; it's the right thing to do."

"I wish I could, but my grandmother's on fire, so I'll just be going," you say.

"Suit yourself!" The man says, and dives in with a grin. Yikes, man. Where should we go next?

References

"Big healing Alien Eggs in a swimming pool" references the film Cocoon starring (among others) actor Wilford Brimley. Wilford Brimley also was in a couple of Liberty Medical commercials talking about diabetes. The spelling "diabeetus" is a meme that sprang from how he pronounced it.