What I Wish Someone Had Told My Husband About Parenting

Parenting Lessons we Learn as we Raise Our Kids

by Lorraine Brock

As kids we learn much from our parents, but sometimes parents feel like they did not do their best and wish they had the chance to raise their children again with the knowledge that comes with age and maturity. It’s what grandparents often feel as they watch their children raise their own families.

My husband has been an exceptional father to our boys. He taught them to be strong men who would stand in the gap when others could not stand for themselves, to cherish the women in their lives and value them as treasures, and to base their decision-making on biblical truths.

We are not empty nesters yet and I do not wish that day to come too quickly, as being a parent is truly wonderful. However, as another son reaches high school graduation, I have been looking back at the ways my husband poured his faith, strength, and love into the lives of our boys. I proudly witnessed the effect year after year even as the boys did not realize they were growing into strong, faithful, loving young men. It reminded me that often new fathers do not receive the guidance they need to be confident teachers to their children. My husband did an amazing job, and although we may have wished we could go back and do some things differently, I want to share a few nuggets of what I would have wished someone would have told my husband as a young father. These are just my personal nuggets of wisdom; your family can decide their own.

We would have instilled in our kids at a younger age more about who Jesus is and his love for them while their hearts were still tender. Having time together as a family in church also reinforces what you teach your children at home.

Explain to your children that it is okay to say, “I’m sorry”. This is something you should mirror for them when you get too angry, or discipline too strongly, or react rudely. Little ones need to see and hear how their daddy handles a situation when he is wrong or when he speaks inappropriately. You will not be a perfect parent, and your child will give you plenty of reasons to overreact, but when you take the time to teach by example, eventually they will learn the value of seeking forgiveness.

Make time to really listen to your children. Never be too busy to “come here daddy” or “tuck me in daddy”. Our son Caleb often reminds me when I am busy and he wants my attention by saying, “Mom you might regret one day not sitting here talking to me. I may die tomorrow.” He is right, so if possible, I get up and sit on the couch and listen to all he has to say. It is strange how sometimes your children will be the ones to teach you life’s simple lessons.

Keep a watchful eye on balancing family and career. Many fathers are responsible for bringing in the money needed to sustain the family. A dad should also remember that his family needs his time and energy and love. Raising children is a selfless act that takes a lot of work but also brings a parent the most joy. You will go above and beyond to love them, take care of them, and protect them, and often they will respond with selfishness, rudeness, disobedience, and words that will hurt your heart. No one will invest in your child’s life more than you and your wife. They must be your priority and a vessel to receive the tools they need to grow up confident, wise and strong. As parents grow older and children grow up, everyone has added responsibilities and the busyness of life can shift the balance of family and career. Make the time to discuss the circumstances of life, seek forgiveness, and get your family back on track.

June is a celebration of fathers. Be sure to appreciate the men in your life who dedicate themselves to being good dads. Acknowledge their strengths and remind them of the areas they could renew. Children will always need their fathers and I am proud that my husband will continue to be a teacher, a confidant, and a role model to our sons.

Lorraine Brock is a professional organizer, family coach, speaker, and founder and owner of Get Organized! Get Organized! is a professional organizing company in the Dallas, Texas area. Get Organized! specializes in organizing and de-cluttering homes as well as implementing systems in the home for better family management.A popular media guest, Lorraine has appeared on Dallas’ two top morning television shows: Good Morning Texas and Good Day Fox, and has been featured on various radio outlets. She has beenhallmarked in many local, regional, and national print and online magazines, such as the Dallas Morning News, The North Texas Kids Magazine, SheKnows.com, and Daily Candy Kids. To get more information about Lorraine, visit www.GetOrganized.ws.