So how do we know the summer movie season is right around the corner? No, it’s not that the weather is getting warmer, although that’s at least a hint. And it’s not because we’ve started seeing trailers on theater screens for the major studio releases that are sure to yell from marquees and dominate the pop-culture landscape from May through August.

Instead, it’s those lengthy titles, many sporting colons and subtitles lest we fail to connect them to their ticket-selling, brand-familiar predecessors. Y’know, Blockbuster 3: Come Back for More.

As the following lineup vividly demonstrates, we remain ensconced in a comic book universe that leaves little room for modest undertakings but basically celebrates the principle that more is more. Well, maybe in the summer that’s true.

So don’t expect much in the way of Oscar bait over the next few months, but do expect the action quotient to rise exponentially until at least September. To that end, here are a couple dozen of the summer’s highest-profile releases, from comedies and dramas to animated flicks and anxiously-awaited sequels. Grab a ticket, grab some popcorn and settle in.

MAYGuardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2(May 5) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: The sequel to the Marvel comic book-inspired science-fiction lark involves the solving of a mystery about protagonist Peter Quill’s parentage.

BEHIND THE CAMERA: Director Jonathan Levine has given us The Wackness, Warm Bodies, 50/50, and The Night Before, while scenarist Katie Dippold has written the female Ghostbusters and The Heat.

REASON TO SEE IT: Schumer made quite a splash in front of and in back of the camera in 2015 with Trainwreck and it’s nice to catch up with Goldie Hawn.

REASON TO SKIP IT: If Schumer’s humor is offensive to you, see what else is playing.

HIT OR MISS: The audience may be narrow rather than wide, but there ought to be enough of a turnout for this one to hold its own.

Alien: Covenant(May 19) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: A science-fiction horror thriller, this sequel finds the crew of the colony ship Covenant exploring what seems like an uncharted paradise on the far side of the galaxy, but it turns out to be something far more life-threatening.

BEHIND THE CAMERA: Ridley Scott, who has been nominated for the Best Director Oscar four times (Thelma & Louise, The Martian, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down), also directed the original Alien and the prequel, Prometheus, for which this thriller serves as a sequel.

REASON TO SEE IT: Ridley Scott’s name alone makes this one an attraction.

REASON TO SKIP IT: But Prometheus was a disappointment and this is the follow-up.

HIT OR MISS: Could go either way, but modest returns is the more likely outcome.

Baywatch (May 25) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: A beach comedy in which a devoted lifeguard clashes with a new recruit.

REASON TO SEE IT: If eye candy is the only snack you’re looking for and running in slo-mo floats your boat, pull up a beach chair.

REASON TO SKIP IT: That joke about the one television series that would never become a movie is no longer a joke.

HIT OR MISS: Some things just don’t compute, but there’s an audience that has been waiting for nearly two decades for this undertaking. And I mean undertaking.

The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (May 26) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: The fifth installment in the comedic swashbuckler franchise finds Captain Jack Sparrow searching for the Trident of Poseidon and struggling to survive as ghost pirates pursue him.

REASON TO SEE IT: You enjoyed the first four, three of which were mediocre and one a notch above that.

REASON TO SKIP IT: You still hate pirate movies, so why bother?

HIT OR MISS: The first four were money machines. No reason to expect a different outcome this time. Although, we’ve been wrong before.

JUNECaptain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (June 2) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: An animated comedy, based on a series of children’s novels, about two mischievous elementary school students who hypnotize their principal and turn him into the superheroic title character.

BEHIND THE CAMERA: Brian Fee, who worked in the art department on Cars, Cars 2, WALL-E and Ratatouille, debuts as a director.

REASON TO SEE IT: The first one was stupendous and justly celebrated, the second not great but good and underrated. How wrong can you go?

REASON TO SKIP IT: Disappointment with the first follow-up may keep you away. You tell the kids, I dare you.

HIT OR MISS: What are you, kidding? This is Pixar. Hit. Period.

The Beguiled(June 30) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: This remake of a Clint Eastwood-starring western drama, set in Virginia during the Civil War, involves a Union soldier being taken in at a girls’ school and cared for by a group of women who have been sheltered from the outside world.

BEHIND THE CAMERA: Writer-director Sofia Coppola’s résumé includes The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation, Marie Antoinette, Somewhere, The Bling Ring and A Very Murray Christmas.

REASON TO SEE IT: The original is a terrific movie.

REASON TO SKIP IT: But Sofia Coppola may not be the right match for this kind of material.

HIT OR MISS: Could catch on as must-see special, but box office is more likely to be modest.

Transformers: The Last Knight(June 23) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: The fifth entry in the science fiction thriller franchise based on Hasbro and Tomy toys finds Optimus Prime gone and the humans and Transformers at war.

REASON TO SEE IT: Ferrell and Poehler are pretty dependable comedy talents.

REASON TO SKIP IT: A screenwriter takes a dip in the directorial pool. Pass.

HIT OR MISS: This one will hold its own because of the two stars and the premise.

JULYSpider-Man: Homecoming (July 7) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: Superhero fantasy as alter egos Peter Parker and the title character struggle to find the balance between ordinary high school life and web-slinging superheroics.

BEHIND THE CAMERA: Stunt man, stunt coordinator and actor David Leitch takes a seat in the director’s chair.

REASON TO SEE IT: Cool title and Charlize Theron.

REASON TO SKIP IT: Stuntman- turned-director? Check, please.

HIT OR MISS: Miss until shown otherwise.

AUGUSTThe Dark Tower (Aug. 4) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: An action-adventure fantasy in which the Gunslinger roams the Old West in search of the Man in Black (no, not the Will Smith- Tommy Lee Jones kind), hoping to reach the titular location in time to preserve the dying world.

BEHIND THE CAMERA: Danish auteur Nikolaj Arcel previously directed A Royal Affair, Truth About Men, Island of Lost Souls and King’s Game.

REASON TO SEE IT: McConaughey and Elba is an interesting combination of top-line stars.

REASON TO SKIP IT: Danish auteur? Who said that?

HIT OR MISS: Somewhere in the middle region of commercial success.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard(Aug. 18) GENRE AND PLOTLINE: An action comedy about the world’s top bodyguard, who must help deliver a new client, a hit man and former enemy, who has to testify at the International Court of Justice.

BEHIND THE CAMERA: Writer-director Ron Shelton, who was nominated for the Best Original Screenplay Oscar for Bull Durham, also directed Blaze, White Men Can’t Jump, Tin Cup, Cobb, Play It to the Bone and Hollywood Homicide.

REASON TO SEE IT: Shelton has made his share of lively, entertaining movies and this one involves dependable old pros Freeman and Jones.

REASON TO SKIP IT: Outrunning a mob hit and the witness protection program have been done to death.

HIT OR MISS: Look for a quiet takeoff, followed by an acceptable flight.

Published (and copyrighted) in South Jersey Magazine, Volume 14, Issue 2 (May, 2017).
For more info on South Jersey Magazine, click here.
To subscribe to South Jersey Magazine, click here.
To advertise in South Jersey Magazine, click here.