A Dirty Little Secret About Getting Engaged

getting engaged may not be the magical moment you dreamed of. Even if everything is perfect on paper, from the romantic setting to the sweetest words to the guy you’ve wanted to marry forever, being proposed to can be, well, kind of awkward.

Why? For one, some of us may have built up the proposal in our heads to perhaps unreachable standards (guilty!). For another, while it’s wonderful in a way, it can also be weird to watch someone you know so well do two things he’s likely never done before: get down on one knee and ask you to marry him. Like any first-time experience, odds are it won’t go exactly as you’d always hoped.

For instance, Paul proposed in a pretty park in Paris. And he expertly worked in a line from one of my favorite movies. But a few feet away, children were playing and a soccer ball narrowly missed my head during the proposal. Another friend had a similarly idyllic backdrop for her proposal (minus the frolicking kids), but her guy wasn’t acting like himself, and that made her feel a little funny. I got that uneasy feeling from the way Paul was acting too!

It’s not that people who say they had the perfect proposal are lying. It’s just that many more women don’t get that euphoric feeling a smaller number of women experience. And they’re less likely to talk about it because it’s almost taboo to admit that your proposal was less than fairytale-like. But it’s okay! It’s not a reflection on how your engagement, wedding, or marriage will go, and there will be many more special moments in your married life that will feel pretty darn close to perfection.

’Fess up, engaged gals: Was your proposal absolutely perfect? Pre-engaged ladies: Would you tell your friends if your proposal wasn’t so ideal? Do you think some people exaggerate the greatness of their engagement story?