A Celebration of Fright Flicks Old and New, Mainstream and Obscure (with the occasional civilian film tossed in as well)

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

FRESH MEAT (2012) movie review

Fresh Meat (2012) d. Mulheron, Danny (New Zealand)

A terrific Kiwi horror/comedy mash-up of dysfunctional family values and second tier career criminals, with a solid stripe of meat-munching right down the middle. Before coming home during school semester break, luscious Hanna Tevita is introduced in the girls shower room borrowing her stall-mate’s soap and all that this entails. Cooking show TV star mom Nicola Kawana and Maori studies professor dad Temeura Morrison are unaware of their little girl’s Sapphic tendencies, but they’ve got bigger problems on their plate, er, bigger fish to fry, um, they like to have their neighbors for dinner... Oh, hell, they’re cannibals, a fact that Tevita discovers just before a ragtag band of wackadoo crooks fresh from a jailbreak come banging on the door looking for a place to hold up until the heat dies down.

If you’ve ever had a burning desire to watch Star Wars’ Jango Fett go all medieval on someone’s ass, this is the flick for you; Morrison is clearly enjoying himself, devouring scenery and co-stars right and left, wrestling with insecurities over his bride’s success and a strong desire to be immortal (hence the cannibalism). But it is Tevita that holds the insanity together while serving as our moral center (that’s right, folks, the lesbian is the role model here – hello, progress); she’d rather not kill and/or eat anyone, but when pushed too far, she’s happy to dole out the whoop-ass or the crotch-bite. Kate Elliot also makes a strong impression as the lone badass female within the merry band of bandits, fierce mascara lines and double-pump shotgun offsetting her knee high socks and tight hot-pink cut-offs.

About Me

Well, during the day I move among you as mild-mannered Aaron Christensen, Chicago actor. But at night, when the popcorn pops full, I transform into my alternate personality Dr. AC, hopeless horror movie nerd-cum-Ambassador of Horror.
However, despite my inclination to discuss monsters that pervade, aliens that invade, creatures of the night, vampires that bite...I'm actually the nicest guy you'll ever meet.