29 Reasons to Change Doctors

I read with interest an article by Angels Haupt in US News and World Report, “9 Signs You Should Fire Your Doctor.” As usual in these type of article, the author left out many other reasons. I have repeated the nine reasons listed in the article followed by the other 20 additional reasons to changes doctors. Keep in mind that the pronoun “He” could also be “She,” “Transgender,” “No Gender,” or “Unknown.”

From US News and World Report:

You don’t mesh.

He doesn’t respect your time.

He keeps you in the dark

He doesn’t listen.

The office is unprofessional.

You don’t feel comfortable with him or wonder about his competence.

He doesn’t coordinate with other doctors.

He’s unreachable.

He’s rude or condescending.

My 20 additional reasons to changes doctors:

He has cold hands.

He has large hands.

All the kids in the waiting room all look like him.

He has cameras and lights set up in the exam room.

He got his medical license online.

Patients call his nurse, “Nurse Ratched”.

His first question is if you’re an organ donor.

He keeps calling you by the wrong last name.

He tries to sell you drugs under the counter.

He googles your symptoms on his computer while you describe them.

He tells you that you remind him of his ex who he hates.

He writes you a prescription for marijuana before he asks you anything.

The DEA is in the waiting room.

His latex gloves have holes in them.

He talks to an imaginary friend in the office.

He pulls out a thermometer from his pocket to write a prescription.

There’s a picture on his desk of him with Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman.

The name of the medical school on his diploma is misspelled.

When you say you want a second opinion, he pulls out a sock puppet.

He keeps referring to the “Hypocritic” Oath.

Any one of these reason could be a red flag that says, “Time to change doctors.”