02/26/2010

An optimistic (re)view on the way we relate nowadays

It’s not that I
usually read books that are inspirational, but it seems that lately, most of
the choices I made in what reading is concerned have proved to be inspirational
to me in a certain way. And it’s not just by chance, I think…

I happen to be
interested in pure, live and honest human interaction (and that’s not only due
to my professional interests, but also sheer, human curiosity). And, like any
other responsible individual living in the modern world, I sometimes wonder
what will come of human interaction as we know it in the context of our
fast-online-24 hour-consuming existences.

The very likely
perspective is one of relationships becoming more and more superficial, short
and goal-oriented, rather than being engaged in the relationship just for the
sake of togetherness. And although perspectives seemed quite gloomy [to me],
there seems to be some hope there after all, dearly beloved co-inhabitants of
the modern world!

Which brings me
back to the book I just finished reading, actually more of a philosophical
essay written in form a psychologist’s point of view- try to imagine this juicy
blend of domains, I dare you!

What struck me
as the red line throughout the discourse of the book was the author’s
perspective on modern-days relationships between individuals. His view on this
is that relationships between people today are “forced” to be deeper, more
meaningful and more intense than they were back in the days. And this has to do
mainly with the fact that although time
is shorter, it has become more precious.
Even though we are more exposed to socialization (either online or offline), we get to choose better and only relate
to people we share something with. Furthermore, because we know ourselves
better, we can assertively ask for what
we want and we get a better chance at receiving it than our parents did. It is
no longer shameful to let your needs be known and expect them to be fulfilled-
nowadays it’s just sad if you don’t ask for what you really want.

So, in these
times where fast adaptation to life’s requirements if a must for survival, it
seems that the very core of our humanity is not by any means lost- it has only
improved in a very “Superman-turned into-Iron Man” kind of way. In other words,
our ability and quality to relate did not deteriorate; it has merely upgraded,
updated and, consequently, it has adapted to the way humans live today.

In conclusion, I
will add a quote that I think captures best the essence of human encounter in modern
times, in the author’s view (which I optimistically share- and yes, I have
facebook-ed it previously J):

“The coffee we
drink together is not a domestic moment anymore, separated from the world, but
the moment in which we return from afar in order to share our either missed or
accumulated daily hope. The relationship becomes an infinite space of resonance
without any common knot.” (Ion Cosmovici, Five
Minutes Over a Cup of Coffee- An Essay on Postmodern Intimacy, SPER
Publishing).