Here I go, 9 am
Sitting here, staring at the tube again
I'm in denial, I'd in defeat
Cause if I don't get to see her, I'll be incomplete
Got no school, got no job
My friends keep saying I'm a lazy slob
But there's one thing I can't stand
It's when they're talking while I'm watching Regis and

Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
A mommy with the body of a stripper
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
She's so fine, I'd settle for her dad
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
If I had some chocolate, I would dip her
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
Why you wanna make a boy go bad?

Riding around in my car
Worshipping a TV goddess from afar
There's no way I can see
Her ever leaving Regis just to be with me
My girlfriend's mad cause I can pay
Attention to her, watching (Ripa all day)
It must be hard when you're a girl
To be an Angelina in a Kelly world

Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
If she was a naughty girl, I'd whip her
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
Rocking all the polyester plaids
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
If she was a crime, I would commit her
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
Why you wanna make a boy go bad?

How's a guy supposed to believe in everything he's not
Try my best to fight this fire with fire

Why you wanna try to take my TV set away? (Hey)
How am I supposed to wake and start another day? (Hey)
Clearly, you are dealing with a desperate man who's close to insane

I've lost my mind, the doctor's say
They locked me up but really, that's okay
Cause my new nurse looks just like

Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
If she was a lollipop, I'd lick her
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
Kind of makes mistakes, she's probably sad
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
A mommy with the body of a stripper
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
She's so fine, I'd settle for her
Rocking all the polyester
Why you wanna make a boy go bad?