I am back at MS and hoping I can use this medium as a means by which to cope with CSA. I am back in therapy (seems like about every 7-8 years) it bubbles up and back to the therapist I go) and needing to work through this again to be my life back. I feel like I am at rock bottom, my job has told me to take some time off and my I am physically/neurologically ill, and all the meds have caused my brain to raise all the ugliness again. CSA and PTSD from CSA really is an affliction I would not wish on my worst enemy and wish I could just be done with this. I am 42 now and it seems like I will deal with this my whole life.

Hey, welcome back! I think you are right about dealing with this for the rest of our lives. I've only been back in therapy for a year since trying to forget about it for the last 20 plus years. I do feel like it is getting better though and I don't find myself in my dark places as often as I have or live with such anxiety about other people (particularly other men). I do worry about having a set back and wonder if I will be able to cope. If that happens I think I will do what you are doing - coming back here and asking others for help.

I also related to not wishing these issues on your worst enemy. I have often wondered if there is anything worse someone could do to another individual then what's happened to us. I don't think there is anything worse. If you believe in spirituality I think it is a spiritual crime that affects the soul as well as the body.

I hope you find what you need to get back up on your feet.

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Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

i think i know exactly what you mean. i am 52 and still healing and dealing with CSA.in fact, i just had a (another) major breakthrough about 2 years ago, so i, too, feel "like I will deal with this my whole life." it never ends, but it always gets better.

someone once said, "We plan to persist until we prevail." this is a positive path.

It is true that dealing with CSA is a constant in life. Fortunately, here at MS there are a lot of guys who offer support and advice. I dealt with this alone for over 40 years. Since I can't run and hide from it anymore, I'd much rather deal with it with help from my friends here, than to do it on my own.

Even though it's a tough fight, with the support of others, there is hope for a better life, and that's something that was absent when I dealing with it alone.

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