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More than two years after America watched Courtney Robertson accept Ben Flajnik‘s proposal on season 16 of The Bachelor (and then saw the relationship get ripped apart in the tabloids), the Arizona-bred model is telling her side of the story with her new book I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain. And it’s just as dishy as you want it to be!

For legal reasons, some stories and details from the show were off-limits, but Robertson promises that her book is a no-holds-barred account of her time on the show (and, having read it, I concur!).

“I’m kind of blushing a little bit,” Robertson said of some of the potentially embarrassing highlights from the book. “But it’s just for the sake of the story and making people laugh.”

Parade.com caught up with the former reality star to find out more about what goes on behind-the-scenes of the hit show, life post-Bachelor, and who she thinks deserves the title of worst Bachelor ever.

You really don’t hold anything back in the book. Are there any stories you wanted to tell that didn’t get published?“Yes, many [laughs]! There was so much information and I wanted to be entertaining and give fans the inside scoop. I’m kind of blushing a little bit but it’s just for the sake of the story and making people laugh. I couldn’t share as many secrets as I wanted to [for legal reasons]. There are so many good [stories] I can’t tell you!”

The most shocking thing in the book for me was the fact that there were no condoms in the fantasy suite.“You know, I didn’t ask. I don’t know if there were any, but I didn’t see any. I mean, I’m sure if we had asked for them they definitely would have been there. Maybe he had them and I just didn’t ask… but yeah, looking back the thought didn’t cross my mind, which is thinking back it’s like, ‘wow Courtney, that’s not good.’”

Having gone through the show, what do you wish you had known at the beginning of the whole process?“I wish I would have watched more seasons to be honest with you. My sister’s a huge fan and I had watched here and there, but now it’s so much fun for me watching. I’m like, ‘oh I can see what they’re doing with that story,’ or ‘I can see where that’s going.’ I wish I would have been a little bit more careful in interviews and been a little bit more neutral in the group settings. There were times where I just could have not said anything and I kept sort of putting my foot in my mouth a lot.”

What did you learn about yourself on the show?“One of the best things I learned was to open up. I’m not one to really share my feelings, but having to sit there and do interviews it really… one of my favorite producers, I did most of my interviews with him, he taught me how to let my guard down and open up a little bit more. Now I’m a big softy [laughs]. I cry all the time.”

What’s your dating life like today? “I have dated, but I’m kind of dating myself more. I’ve been thinking the old fashioned way [of meeting someone] is the way for me because it didn’t really work out. For the first time in my life, love isn’t the number one thing on my list. I’ve really been working hard on the book, it’s a labor of love for me.”

What do you think of Andi as the Bachelorette?“I think Andi’s the best Bachelorette I’ve ever seen to be honest. She’s beautiful, she’s very quick, and she’s smart and that makes her really funny too. My sister’s an attorney and I like that nature—she kind of has the last word. She’s definitely asking the right questions. I think Andi’s the best so far. I already feel like I know who she picks.”

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Who do you think she picks?“I think Josh, the baseball player. I saw him night one and was like, ‘he is fine with a capital F! That’s him, she’s going to pick him.’ He seems like a genuinely nice guy, too.”

Who do you think was the best Bachelor?“I honestly have to say Sean Lowe. I think he was great. I think he was clearly ready to find love and to get married. I felt like he handled it really well, he came off like a really great guy—now they’re married. I think Sean was the best of all time. Now that I’ve been on the show I watch how people handle the media and their social media and he does such a great job, and so does Catherine, at Twitter and that stuff. After Juan Pablo’s season there was a lot of drama.”

Who do you think was the worst?“People are saying Juan Pablo is the worst, I think mainly because of the language barrier to be honest with you. I have friends that are friends with him who say he’s a lovely person. It was the media and the language barrier and I think he said a few things that rubbed people the wrong way. Yeah, I would have to say it’s Juan Pablo, I mean just the ending alone, like, ‘I have a ring in my pocket, but I’m not going to use it!’ That’s kind of why we watch for 12 weeks and I think the most satisfying moment of the whole show is seeing you get engaged. I was kind of cringing, and even the After the Final Rose was hard to watch too.”

Do you think the show would ever cast a black or otherwise racially diverse Bachelor or Bachelorette?“I think so, yes, most definitely. I think it’s time and Andi’s got Marquel [ed. note: this interview took place before Marquel was sent home on Monday night’s episode] who’s so funny and I was actually watching thinking ‘gosh, he would make a great Bachelor.’ He’s so funny, he’s got the best personality.”