Kids Sports Psychology – How to avoid frustrations and unhealthy expectations by the kids?

1. Discover if your kids have high expectations.

Are they thinking: “I have to get a kill every time”, “I have to put the serve over every time”, “I have to get 20 kills in each match”.

2. Help kids get rid of those expectations.

They may set up those high goals themselves. Or those expectations may come from outside people.

Those expectations could be based on winning and losing – or how well they performed in the match. No more goals in which they are yearning for perfection: “I have to get 20 kills in the match”, “I have to put every serve in”.

3. Help your kids to set up smaller goals.

Set up goals which can be achieved easily.

For example they should have a goal to “focus on one play, one serve, one shot or one spike at the time”.

Or kids could set up a goal to make “quality serves” – you can define together what this means – for example you could set up a goal to serve with a good top spin what you have been working on in the previous week.

They should focus on something small that they can focus in the process of playing. Focus on small goals in the moment (“Now I am doing the tossing correctly, then following with a nice wrist snap”). Do not think about big goals in the process of playing (“I can’t make any serving errors in this match. I have to serve every serve in”). The goals should easily achievable.

Those steps help kids to avoid disappointment and becoming frustrated. Then they perform with confidence – without focusing on the outcome, which they can’t control themselves.