Question

How do I talk to my husband about our fighting without causing another fight?

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It's been happening more often than it should, my mil has it in her head that I don't like her because I don't always answer my phone. Mind you I am not always around my phone (mostly when my husband accidently takes mine to work). So when my husband asks me constantly why dont you like my mom, I always respond with I do like your mom but this why game is starting to frustrate me and with you and your mom always asking its pushing me away. Of course a heated argument breaks out and we end up no where... This is what happens even when I calmly just try to talk to him about this. I wasn't aware I was supposed to update her on my every movement. I feel I am fighting a losing battle I really need advice on how to bring it up without hurting anyones feelings

Mom Answers

Tough one because it sounds like it's becoming a learned response from hubby now. Try sitting down (not as a fight is breaking out!) and say that you want to talk about this calmly. You are not upset, you just want communication to be a little more clear. If things start to get heated, you guys should stop talking about it and come back to it later. LET IT GO! And make sure he knows that's the rule BEFORE you start talking. The point is to stay calm, state your feelings, and try to find out his and why he has those feelings. Clearly it's just a miscommunication. (and if you really do like you mil just fine, emphasize that) I DO like your mom, I just am really busy during the day and can't always taker her call...or whatever you want to say.

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