At home with …Zanna Roberts Rassi & daughters

Co-Founder, Milk Makeup
& daughters | New York, NY

From the moment Zanna Roberts Rassi welcomed her twin daughters into the world, she has made it a point to be an open book about her long journey getting to where she is today. As the TV host, stylist, Marie Claire editor and Milk Makeup co-founder explains, “It was clear to me that [fertility issues] affect a large percentage of women and is something that needs to be talked about more and openly. Not in a taboo manner behind a doctors doors.” From the outside, Zanna’s life looks impossibly glamorous—traveling around the world going to fashion shows, interviewing designers and celebrities on the red carpet, attending award shows—but her behind the scenes reality during her road to motherhood felt quite the opposite. Throughout her years of struggle and what felt like thousands of doctors’ appointments, Zanna found comfort in her “work-a-holic ways” and, having come out the other side, she not only has a stellar career to show for it, but also a lifetime-worth of wisdom. On March 31, 2014, Zanna and her husband became parents to beautiful daughters Rumi and Juno, and have “floated on cloud nine ever since.”

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Best Part About Motherhood...

“Receiving unconditional love. Juno threw her arms around my neck this morning for no reason and said ‘I’m so proud of you Mummy. I love you Mummy.’ That’s powerful.”

Zanna's Path to Motherhood...

“Are you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin!…

In Jan 2011 I got pregnant via IUI. In July 2011 at a 22-week scan we discovered the baby had a Hypo Plastic Left Heart Syndrome (HPLH) and devastatingly, was not going to make it to full term. It was the most harrowing month. I tried to be as philosophical as humanly possible about it. My husband was my rock. After a little break (because I was drained in every way) I began IVF in 2012. After three complex rounds, a couple of false starts, and (what felt like) 10,098 doctors’ appointments, on August 9th, 2013 I was called by my Doctor who told me I was pregnant. But not just a little bit pregnant. Like, reeeeeeally pregnant. On March 31st, 2014, the happiest day of my life, I gave birth to twin girls Rumi and Juno. I have floated on cloud nine since!”

“Everyone knew I was pregnant (as I was so far along), then suddenly I wasn’t. I felt so bad for those who would presume I’d given birth and ask me how the baby was doing and I had to tell them it didn’t work out (and end up trying to make them feel better for asking!). It was at this point people started sharing so many stories with me of their struggles, or their sisters, or their friends or so on! It was clear to me that this affects a large percentage of women and is something that needs to be talked about more and openly. Not in a taboo manner behind a doctors doors.”

“I actually loved being pregnant and everything that went with growing not one but two people inside of me. In the back of my mind there was always a nagging voice, “Please let this scan be OK”, “Why is the doctor calling?”, “Why is the doctor not calling!?” I would pray hard every night for their health, and the reality is I was worried until the moment they came out. Then once that was done, a whole new world of different worries kicked in! I suppose as a parent, I’ll never stop worrying, and that’s OK.”

Zanna's Advice for Women Going Through Fertility Issues...

“Seek medical advice. Get second opinions. Talk to friends and people you know who have been through it. Less so than chat rooms on the Internet—it will send you in a tailspin. Today there are great sites like Pre-Conceive.com to help. Finally, remember it’s a MARATHON. Not a sprint. It’s a long journey. Don’t rush it. It’s not simple but it will happen when it is supposed to. I promise.”

“Aside from my solid work-a-holic ways, my tools for getting through that time in my life were basically all my guilty pleasures! Binge watching Netflix shows, trashy books, Instagram and chocolate milk in bed and not putting pressure on myself to go out. I didn’t have the spirit.”

Most treasured piece of motherhood advice you've ever received:

“They grow quickly. Love every minute! Even the rough ones. Only last night, I was at home with the girls alone, they were tired and both wanted picking up at the same time. Uncharacteristically screaming, crying and grabbing my legs. I sat on the floor and pretended to cry with them. They both started giggling. We all couldn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes. That and just accept that you will never really relax again until they are about 18. It then becomes way less stressful.”

“I’m so lucky to have an amazing husband who does not make me feel guilty for having a big career or working like a mad woman! And me with him. Remembering we are on the same team helps. We launched Milk Makeupwhen the girls were still one year old. It’s been the hardest but most rewarding year. Understanding each other’s workloads and respecting that is important.”

Zanna's Birth Plan...

“C Section, all the way. I’d dealt with an awful lot to get to this point. I asked the Doctors what the safest route to get these ladies on planet earth would be and they all (yes, all, I always get 2nd and 3rd opinions) said C Section was always the way. I booked in for 9:00AM slot on a Monday morning at NYU. By 9:45AM I had two babies in my arms! It couldn’t have gone smoother.”

Zanna's C-Section Recovery...

“The recovery from the C was quick, probably too quick as I started bounding around and actually did a couple of jobs a few weeks after giving birth. THEN the problems kicked in. I started suffering from sciatica. Carrying twins aggravated a herniated disc and it was pretty crippling for months after. However, despite doctors telling me I would have to have back surgery, I found relief in Pilates. Thankfully.”

Beauty Shortcuts...

Makeup: “There is a reason I’m cofounder of a beauty line that shaves time off your morning routine! We all need as many additional minutes in the day as we can grab. All four co-founders of Milk Makeup (three of us new mums, one dad) had two year-olds when we launched! The brand is about radical ease of use. Multitasking sticks, hard wearing pigments that last and zero tools needed for quick application because each product has a built-in applicator. AND, very importantly, all good-for-you ingredients. NOTHING bad. I live by Highlighter in Lit and Matte Bronzer in Baked. These two alone get me out the door rapidly and presentable!”

A Few of Zanna's Favorite Things...

Equipment:

Nest camera: I travel a LOT and it keeps me happy to see them sleeping whilst I’m on set, a plane or at dinner.

Samsung watch: It does everything my phone does, but since it’s a watch, my girls don’t get mad with me for pulling out my phone all the time! It’s tech-y without looking tech-y so I can make it work with an evening look with interchangeable bands, all whilst still tracking my fitness (it’s satisfying how many steps I do as a mum of two!).

The People Who Keep Her Sane...

“Karen, the awesome nanny who has been with us since day four. And friends with kids who give solid advice when you have a sick baby, or need Pre K recommendations or just a glass of wine and a good ol’ moan!”

“It takes a VILLAGE! I surround myself with people who really want to help. I’m SO lucky to have a wonderful nanny, a great sitter. Being clear and communicative to them about their schedule and my needs is important so everyone is on the same page. My sister is also in NYC, and gets called upon regularly. There is nothing quiet like family being close. And for me, having a partner who understands when I have to travel for work and who doesn’t make me feel any guilt is invaluable. All of the above make it do-able. Without them I would be a pile in the corner!”

“Rumi was called Rumi after the Persian poet (my husband is Persian). Juno took a while to figure out. We wanted an equally strong name when we came across Juno. She is the Queen of the Gods in mythology and also an actual NASA spacecraft. A badass leader. Done!”

“I’m a believer in the baby workout! Squats and planks carrying my toddlers’ 30lb weight are effective and FUN for all. I have more arm muscle tone in my left arm than ever as the right has to be kept free to do everything else—make dinner, write checks, text, change diapers (I have twins). I’m a one-arm magician.”

Biggest motherhood challenge:

“Breastfeeding two! As I said, I went back to work soon after and spent time pumping in studio bathrooms or on trips away! There was a moment my assistant was running back to my house delivering vials of breast milk; that was the final straw! I think there are a lot of front loaded challenges with twins. Physically, especially when they are young, but we are slowly seeing the rewards as they become best friends and entertain each other.”