Updates Overwhelming: ME3's Earth, Aquaman In DCUO

We live in a terrifying world of constant change. You might, for instance, neatly tuck each of your games into bed a night and gingerly kiss them on the cheek, safe in the knowledge that – when you awake – they’ll be there waiting, same as always. But honestly, who knows? They could just suddenly update and transform into strange, multi-tendriled monstrosities. You could awake from your dreams right into a living nightmare. Or, you know, you could just get some Earth-bound levels in Mass Effect and – oh gosh – Aquaman in DC Universe Online. OK, yeah, I’m sticking with the nightmare thing.

So, first up, Mass Effect 3. I already took a closer look at it last week, but in short, you’re getting three new levels, six new playable characters, three guns, and a crushing Platinum difficulty mode. And hey, look, BioWare saw fit to toss out a hyper-dramatic trailer. You should give it a watch… or die trying.

DC Universe Online’s latest update, meanwhile, is a bit more substantial. Titled “The Tides of War,” it sadly has nothing to do with Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness – which is what I immediately thought of when I read the title. But it’s got Aquaman! Specifically, because “Ocean Master, Aquaman’s conniving half brother, has rallied a force of mutineer Atlanteans in an attempt to usurp the throne of Atlantis! Their civil war has breached the waters of Metropolis, a crucial piece in the plot to rule the sea.”

So then, what does that actually mean? Well, you get a slew of open world missions in which you can choose whether to join Aquaman or his brother, a new boss battle, and the chance to nab an Atlantean Suit – which I assume refers to Atlantis and not the capital of the state of Georgia. There’s also a new PVP map set on the moon for some reason, and it has the greatest description of any map ever: “You’ve won victory on Earth, but can you survive the moon?” Probably not, given the whole “no air” thing, but anyway!

So then, Mass Effect’s Earth needs saving, and Aquaman’s is the most lonely of existences. Who will you choose? This, er, probably won’t be a difficult decision for you.