‘Never have we been so well informed or so overwhelmed’

In the good old days, we women used to turn to the older generations for guidance when bringing up our babies. Mums, Grandmas and Aunties would impart knowledge from their own experience and that was enough, perhaps alongside the odd baby book or chat with a Dr.

Oh how things have changed.

These days many of us shun advice from our family members in favour of the internet. We get guidance from so-called baby experts, other Mums and even bloggers like myself.

Search “sleep training” on Google and you’ll be bombarded with opinion after opinion. “Do the gentle approach” says one mum. “Let your baby cry it out” says another. “Pick up and put down” proclaims a blogger.

Your lack-of-sleep addled brain wants to scream out in frustration, and if you’re anything like me you get so overwhelmed that you end up doing none of the above or a crazed combination of all of them which concludes with many tears (yours).

I remember finally calling my Mum in desperation when I had tried just about every sleep training technique with my eldest and she calmly told me to stop panicking, to take a deep breath and just go with the flow.

“Poppy isn’t a robot darling. These sleep techniques may not work for her. Just follow your instinct and remember it’s just a phase. It WILL pass.”

She didn’t give me all the answers, but what she did do was help me to walk away from the internet and actually focus on following my instinct and what was best for my daughter rather than a “one size fits all” regime from one of the hundreds of internet experts.

Another problem with going online is that it can make you panic needlessly. My advice (as a very neurotic mother) is to NEVER pay a visit to Dr Google unless it’s to get proper advice from say the NHS website or Babycentre.co.uk. Many a time have I searched my child’s symptoms only to be sure that she or he has a life-threatening illness. The internet can be a very helpful and yet a very scary place.

Now don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I have to tell my family members that things have changed nowadays. (How many of us have had to tell our Mums we don’t wrap babies up in multiple layers or on their fronts because of the risk of cot death, even though they invariably remind us that we turned out fine?!) However, sometimes it makes a lot of sense to cut the clutter, turn away from Google and Facebook and chat to the women who are closest to us and who know us the best.

Here are some sources that do give clear, simple and most importantly,correct information. I swear by all of them.

Upfront Mama xx

1.For medical advice turn to the NHS website. It will tell you exactly what to look out for and what action you need to take when your child is ill and most importantly, the information that it gives is 100% correct and panic fee.

(Remember too that information on the main BabyCentre pages are based on medical evidence - so fully trustworthy as well!)

2. I may be a teeny bit biased, but long before I started writing for BabyCentre, I turned to it for clear and useful advice about pretty much every stage of pregnancy and my child's development. It doesn't leave you feeling overwhelmed or judged, just well informed!

3. If you have no idea what to cook for your little ones then I really recommend My Lovely Little Lunchbox for easy, healthy, creative recipes that take no time at all to conjure up.

4. When weaning my little ones there are two books that I use and two only. The first is Gill Rapley's Baby-Led Weaning Cookbook...

5. ... and the second is Annabel Karmel's New Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner which gives a week-by-week plan for weaning your baby.

7. The best book ever is Your Baby Week by Week. It's a simple, waffle free and practical guide to the first six months of your baby's life. Oh and the fact that you read small chapter each week means that you actually have a chance to take it all in.

8. The BabyCentre Community. For anyone who hasn't ventured in there yet - there are literally hundreds of groups, including your birth club, where you can talk to other parents, get advice, impart your own and share ideas. Brilliant.

9. ...and last but not least....My Mum, Sister, Grandma, Aunty, Mum and Sister-in-law. They all give great advice and I don't know what I'd do without them.

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