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Tales from the mouth of a wolf

For a blog that is supposedly about writing I’ve noticed that I don’t spend a great deal of time actually producing articles specifically for writers or even aimed at the craft itself. While many writers and authors have created wondrous platforms where they write about self-publishing, grammatical structure, or establishing an audience, I have taken a different approach to this site. It’s an approach that I believe is more important to my own creative journey than producing pieces on growing an audience or the likes. Here at Renegade Press through postings of wolves, broken windows, floods and catastrophes I have created a space that is uniquely my own. In this space I can be vulnerable, arrogant, aggressive, creative, and above all else it’s a space where I can be free to express myself creatively.

I’m not knocking those who choose to write posts that are logical, well thought out, and coherent; I actually admire many of those writers and follow their sites. I’m merely suggesting that the idea of producing such posts doesn’t really feel right for me. I’m too erratic in my thought processes and not yet accomplished enough in my craft to be handing out writing/publishing advice to anyone.

I’m a dog chasing cars. Or more accurately a literary wolf chasing fragments of ideas through the shadowy contours of my mind.

One such idea was to change the way I see the world. I’ve forever been known as narcissist and a bit of a prick so on January 1st 2015 I decided to focus on sowing seeds of positivity into my mind rather than allowing the oppressive weight of hate to rest upon my heart as it had done for years. The experiment came around after I read an article detailing a study released by the European Journal of Social Psychology on creating habits in which the researchers suggested that the average time it took for someone to adopt a new habit was sixty six days. It sounds easy enough doesn’t it? Practise optimism for sixty six days until it becomes so ingrained in your mind that you’re constantly searching for the positive in life rather than brooding over shit that’s outside of your capacity to control.

So how have I found the experience?

Well, at times I’ve struggled with remaining positive. There have been a few moments where I’ve gnashed teeth and threatened to break someone’s nose or flown into a verbal tirade of expletives. At one point over the past two months I even found myself hell bent on returning to my former state of perpetual hate as a means of rousing myself from a momentary creative slump. But for the most part I’ve remained upbeat and embraced life and my fellow man with a vigour that surpasses any I have ever had before.

I’m now at day fifty seven of my experiment and I’m actually stunned by what I have managed to achieve during this timeframe. My altered mindset has seen me embrace new concepts and ideas and abandon much of the narcissist bullshit that was hindering my progression as a writer and a man. I’ve started reading a more varied series of blogs and texts, re-enrolled in university after a hiatus, and have even started developing a social media presence through Instagram. In addition to this I’m continuing to grow more tolerant of people and have stopped being an arsehole just for the sake of it. This openness of heart and mind has paid huge dividends as my debut novel Midas is now available on Amazon, my followers here at Renegade Press is now five times what it was on January 1st, and people are starting to see me as something other than a insensitive dickhead with an axe to grind.

All of which is overwhelmingly positive. The experiment has been an overwhelming success, but as I draw ever closer to the climax of my sixty six days I’ve began asking myself where do I go from here?

Publishing my novel actually left me a little dazed and confused after the goal I’d toiled away at for close to a decade suddenly came to fruition and I’ve kind of struggled to reignite my motivation to create and understand where my career as a writer is headed next. But now I’m starting to put together another series of goals that will consume my existence and with my new mindset I believe that I can achieve them. I’ve got the world in front of me and even though I have quelled my arrogance somewhat, I’m still egotistical enough to believe I can achieve anything.

On day fifty seven I have set my sights on grandeur and excellence in my field. As I begin penning my way through a follow up to Midas as well as continue to work on a myriad of alternate scripts I’ve also set my sight on becoming a name synonymous with modern day literature. It’s not an easy feat to accomplish; nor should it be. I aim to inspire but I also aim to challenge myself at every opportunity. So while I have a incredible amount of work to do just to begin to become well-known in this industry, I feel that just by knowing that someone is reading this post I can say that I am already on my way to achieving my goal.

Hi Chris… Sorry you are probably flooded with emails… if you don’t want to hear any more from me just let me know I will completely understand. I just wanted to say that hearing about your new positive way of thinking is very inspiring and it makes me feel good to see that if another person can change their thought patterns… then surely we all can. Would you mind if I followed your Instagram account? I have a very un-cool Instagram account that features my gorgeous dogs for the most part haha. I would like to follow yours however. I’m actually too embarrassed to even tell my family about my silly pet Instagram account. My account is old.man.jorge (referring to my big lovable mutt named Jorge). I have actually begun writing again also and I have been thinking that I might like to share my work with someone… as you very kindly offered. Obviously you are very busy but if you were still interested I would love your feedback on the first ‘part’ of my story. It is a really ‘out there’ concept that I doubt many people would enjoy… and I don’t really even know how this story formulated in my head. If you are interested or have the time please let me know. If not I totally understand. Danika 🙂

Of course I’m still interested in taking a look at your work! I know that last time we spoke you were quite hesitant about sharing what you have produced with the world so I would be honoured to share your writing with you.
You already have all of my email details so if you ever feel like sharing just send something through. I can be terrible at responding in a timely manner at times but I’d be thrilled to take a read and let you know what I think.

I love your approach. I have blogged about “why we write” and other such topics, but mostly I write about poetry, creativity, spirituality and recovery. I have noticed that my scope has gotten wider. I tried to stay away from politics per se. My aim here is not to isolate, divide, or offend. I hope to encourage. Keep your project going. I look forward to reading more. Good luck.

Consciously changing your attitude is a tough one. I do battle with mine often. I hope you keep on writing posts as you have been. Learning about the life and thoughts of a accomplished writer helps me see that as an unaccomplished one, my struggles aren’t all that different.

This may have been the first post of yours that I have read, but it I do have to say wow. You’re energy or personality more so is so refreshing. I love that you have decided to better yourself but I urge you to not lose your sense of humor and sarcasm. I find those qualities quite refreshing. I look forward to reading more of what you have to offer.

Very excited to hear you are turning your negativity to positive thoughts and actions. I am a “glass half full” kinda gal myself. You will find that you will attract people instead of repel them. Beginning around truly negative people can be exhausting! Good work. Looking forward to see where your writing is going. I have a friend who just got into the publishing business and is a writer herself.

Not to add to your egotism, but I’m very proud to have published Midas! I think it’s an amazing novel, and the start to a fantastic series. It may take a few months, even a year or two, but I know that, once the world reads your work, you will become a household name. Keep up the wonderful writing, and let’s give the world some more Jason Dark!

Thanks for reading my blog! I’m glad you have embarked on this journey, and I hope you have realized new aspects of yourself that will lead you to being a happier person.

I’m not a negative person, nor am I a positive one. I see myself more as a realist. Being a mother of four has certainly put a cap on my positive outlook on life, but it is never boring! I wouldn’t trade them, or my harder look at the world, for anything.