Caring for the Caregivers-National Family Caregivers Month

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Me and Dad inside Faneuil Hall, Boston.

Last month I had the best vacation with my dad and kids. Because of work schedules, just the four of us were able to go on our sort-of-annual fall trip. Last year we went to Williamsburg, and this year we went to Cap Cod in Massachusetts.

The weather was perfect for October, the leaves were at peak color, and we ate local seafood every day.

I had decided to drive up, so when I was about an hour and a half away from the resort I saw a message from my dad pop up on my phone above my GPS. He was at the resort, had taken a bad fall, and couldn’t stop bleeding.

I passed my phone to my daughter, had her coordinate between my husband at home and my dad in Massachusetts to see if Dad needed to get to the hospital. Fun times on the Mass. Turnpike for me.

Luckily, Dad was fine, but it had the potential to be very serious. While he’s always been an active person, age and the wear and tear from being an Army Ranger are catching up with him.

I see the time coming soon where some lifestyle choices will have to be made. The good thing is, Dad and my step-mom are planning a move to a nice “active retirement community.” It’s one of those places where you’re on a golf course, and they have yoga at the clubhouse, and bus trips to wine country, but they also have homes set up safety and accessibility for all the less fun requirements of getting old.

I worry a lot about my dad. He was extremely active, so it seems hard for him to accept his new limitations. If they move, they will be very close to my brother, whose job is in geriatric nursing. I do hope they’ll be close to family, since my brother would be a lot of help, and is willing to do it.

Everybody’s roll is changing, and that can be frustrating, upsetting, and exhausting. November is National Family Caregivers Month. Right now more than 42 million people in the America are caring for an older relative or friend. During the holidays these caregivers need extra support.

I’m writing on behalf of AARP and the Ad Council who have just launched new public service advertisements (PSAs) that illustrate how the changing roles of parents and children can really impact lives.

Since the initial launch in the fall of 2012, the Caregiver Assistance campaign has received over $72.4 million in donated media and AARP.org/caregiving has received more than 15 million visits.

According to AARP’s research, the more than 42 million caregivers in the U.S. provide an estimated $450 billion worth of unpaid care to aging relatives and friends. Many think that caregivers are paid health professionals, providing full-time care to someone in need of daily help, when in reality, most caregivers are also working and managing their own families at the same time. This can be highly stressful work, putting caregivers at risk for depression and anxiety immunosuppression, cardiovascular disease, premature aging, among other physiological consequences, as well as causing financial problems.

It is important for all caregivers to know that AARP has created a community of experts and other caregivers to help at aarp.org/caregiving.

If you were at my house right now, you would see me ugly cry over this PSA from the Ad Council.

With longer life expectancies I know more and more people stepping into the caregiver role. I will be heading that way myself in a few years.

Pam

We have had to make some serious decisions in the past 4 years for and with my parents. My Dad will soon be 91 and my mom just turned 86. I live 2000 miles away and it is really hard emotionally to be so far away. I travel back several times a year and stay for several weeks at a time to do as much as I can and I also handle most of the medical info/appointments by phone. Each one of my siblings play a role and do what they can do and we try to work as a team as much as we can.

Catherine S

I am glad your dad is okay. This is really great information. It is nice to know that resources are available if needed.

I imagine it would be hard to accept limitations if you’ve always been active. I’m glad he was okay when you got your call. I hope he likes the active retirement home. I’m sure it will help that his wife is there with him to enjoy it too.

I worry about my parents as they get older. This is great info to keep in mind

brandyellen

I am glad your Dad is okay! I have been told I am the one who will be caring for my father when he can no longer care for himself. He wants an apartment above a garage at my home, but ummm we don’t have a garage so lol we shall see. I do love that this caregivers program is out there, spreading the word and helping others!

Caregivers do so much. It’s great that their being recognized this way.

I love being a mother, but I’m pretty sure I’m not very good at it. People tell me I’m a good mom, but I wish they wouldn’t pat my shoulder when they said it.
I have four kids at home and one husband, who is Ricky to my Lucy. He puts up with late dinners, occasional clean underpants shortages, and my madcap schemes.