Lyrics

Shoes are too tight and pointed
Shoes are too tight and pointed
Ankles sorta puffin' out
Cause me to shout:

Oh Debra Algebra Ebneezra Kadabra!
Witch Goddess, Witch Goddess of Lankershim Boulevard!
Cover my entire body with Avon Cologna
And drive me to some relative's house in East L.A. (Wooden dog!)(Just till my skin clears up)
Turn it to Channel 13
And make me watch the rubber tongue
When it comes out
From the puffed & flabulent Mexican rubber-goods mask
Next time they show The Brnoqqa
Make me buy The Flosser</i>
Make me grow Brainiac Fingers(But with more hair)
Make me kiss your turquoise jewelry!
Emboss me!
Rub the hot front part of my head
With rented unguents!Give me bas-relief!

Cast your dancing spell my way
I promise to go under it
Cast your dancing spell my way
I promise to go under it
Cast your dancing spell my way
I promise to go under it
(Oh, hear this!)
Cast your dancing spell my way
I promise to go under it
(Oh, hear this!)

"Don's mother, who sold Avon products door to door had all this stuff from Avon stashed at the house, which everybody used. Y'know, it was free beauty adis. Don, being neurotic, and a bit of a narcissist, was quite prone to dumping any kind of beauty aid that he could find onto his body. He made the unfortunate mistake of taking some Avon Cologne and putting it in his hair, one day, which made it start falling out. He also put some sort of Avon cream on his face which made him break hout in this giant rash. His face looked like an alligator. He was losing a great deal of status at the high school, and he moved out of our little desert community, Lancaster, where we went to school, and moved down to east L.A. to live with his aunt for a while (till) he got his chops back together." (Frank Zappa in "Society Pages" No. 7, September 1991, quoted on page 221 of Mike Barnes, "Captain Beefheart", Quartet Books, Ltd., 2000