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Orgasm during sex

Jane ThomasNovember 17, 2016

Unfortunately, modern day sexology is not a science based on facts and logic but more a collection of beliefs and opinions.

One expert will claim that all women orgasm by the age of 19; another asserts 30. Some say that clitoral stimulation is needed for orgasm and others that clitoral stimulation is irrelevant to female orgasm.

If female orgasm is so easy, then why do so many people ask about how women orgasm? No one EVER asks about male orgasm.

Orgasm involves a release of sexual tension that is built up as a person becomes aroused. Even for a woman, a true orgasm is followed by a period of resolution before another orgasm is possible.

In fact the link between clitoral stimulation and female orgasm comes NOT from women’s experience of sex BUT from female masturbation.

The discussion of orgasm during sex covers the following:

CLITORAL STIMULATION: clitoral stimulation does lead to female orgasm during female masturbation BUT ….

SEXUAL FANTASIES: FIRST a woman needs to focus on sexual fantasies to become aroused enough for orgasm.

ORGASM TECHNIQUES: so women are likely to find orgasm during sex more elusive than during female masturbation.

Women’s orgasm techniques

Ways Women Orgasm presents the orgasm techniques (often suppressed by other sources) that women use to orgasm during sex in terms that women who are familiar with orgasm from masturbation can relate to.

(1) Clitoral stimulation is needed for female orgasm…

“… certainly, it is easier for most women to be orgasmic during masturbation than during intercourse. … For most women, masturbation involves some form of stimulation of the clitoris, whereas with intercourse, the clitoris is only stimulated indirectly, …” (p587 Human Sexuality (fifth edition) 1995)

If the answer to achieving female orgasm were as simple as providing PHYSICAL stimulation, there wouldn’t be a problem in the first place. After all this isn’t rocket science. When a man is sexually aroused, he knows which body part to stimulate.

“Many women indicated that they could not even suggest that their male partner was not satisfying them because if they did he would just fall apart. I felt a little insulted by that. I’m a big boy. If I’m not stimulating your clitoris correctly or whatever, tell me. I can handle that. I think most men can.” (p182 The Hite Reports – 1993)

(2) BUT clitoral stimulation by itself (whether by the woman or her partner) does not guarantee female orgasm. Why not?

Unlike men, most women do not approach sex just short of an orgasm. So even a woman who masturbates does not necessarily consider stimulating her clitoris during sex with a partner simply because she is not MENTALLY aroused enough for genital stimulation to make sense. Genital stimulation only leads to orgasm once a person is mentally aroused.

“Few of us reach orgasm without fantasy …” (p13 Hot Sex 1998)

Since the naked body of a sexual partner does not cause a woman to become aroused enough to orgasm, she is likely to need to use her sexual fantasies during sex. The truth is that a woman is lucky if she finds even ONE way to orgasm.

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2 comments for “Orgasm during sex”

Thank you for sharing your knowledge with everyone. I have been hesitant to ask you before but after reading your articles I believe you have great knowledge in this subject.

My GF and I have been together now for a year and she can have multiple orgasm up to 11 times and squirt in a single session without clitoral stimulation. She have so much ejaculate and orgasm coming out of her so we have to soak tissues through.

I am wondering if this is normal as her orgasms can last as long as thirty seconds while shaking and the number and intensity seem to increase and not decrease. she almost collapses from exhaustion every time we have sex.

Please explain if that is due to physical stimulation or psychological arousal and what part in her vagainal responsible for that

Hi Sammy, Thanks for commenting. I have no explanations for what you describe.

Women themselves never talk about these experiences that men claim on their behalf. I’m afraid that until millions of women overcome their embarrassment over sex and are willing to explain their sexual experiences, any scientist must assume that such stories reflect male fantasies rather than women’s experiences in real life.

The scientific fact is that the vagina is completely inert. Most men and even some women find this difficult to accept. Orgasm is only linked to reproduction for men. Women do not need to orgasm in order to reproduce. Women have to stimulate the same anatomy that men do – the sex organ (clitoris/penis) if they want to experience orgasm. But psychological arousal is needed before anyone can orgasm.

It is noticeable that descriptions of female orgasm always focus on physical stimulation techniques. Neither men nor women can explain how women get turned-on. So it is very unlikely that many women in real life even know what orgasm involves.