"In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end, she just simply changed directions and kept going." R. M. Drake

Sunday, July 7, 2013

30 Things Blog 2 -- 3 Fears and Why

If you want to know what this is all about check out this blog post!
Blog 2 -- Describe 3 fears that you have and explain how they became fears

1. Spiders --

I honestly cannot explain to you why on earth I became so deathly afraid of spiders. I know that it’s pretty illogical because I can’t quite find a rational reason and I can’t identify a specific thing that made me fear them. They are just so small and creepy and I hate the idea of them crawling on me. The itty bitty ones aren’t bad, but the medium to large ones I just cannot deal with!!

2. Heights --

My fear of heights started when I went to my very first summer camp in elementary school. We were hiking up to the cross. In all reality it isn’t very far, and it isn’t all that steep, but to a little girl it sure looks that way. Going up wasn’t all that bad, it was the coming down part that didn’t go well with me. We had counselors positioned the whole way down, but in between counselors I ended up slipping down to the next one. I was then suddenly very afraid that I was going to continue to fall down the side of the hill and hurt myself. I think it also stems from a fear of falling and hurting myself. I get really unbalanced pretty easily and I’m sure that plays a role in it as well!

3. Losing those I love --

Even if you’re not a frequent reader of my blog, you can easily figure out that I’ve experienced loss in my life at a very young age. At only 20 years old I lost my husband of 6 months from Cystic Fibrosis. Within the that same year I lost a total of 5 family members close to me. Just 1 short month ago I lost a very dear friend of mine. It just keeps happening. The further out from a loss I get, the less I fear that I will lose someone else very close to me, but it always remains in the back of my mind the reality that our lives are so short and we are never guaranteed tomorrow. I fear that I will wake up and another life will be taken away from me. These losses have shaken me to my very core and have changed me, partly for the better and party in a way I wish they hadn’t. I am not quite sure how rational this fear is, but in my 22 years of living I’ve lost more than I ever could have imagined I would and I’m scared of losing more.