This is my psychiatrist's couch. Take from it what you will.
But do leave a note.
I still am a late middle aged former government worker marking time until the cliff.
Short Fiction, Doggerel and Insensitive Opinion are spoken here.
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Friday, December 16, 2016

Friday Random

It's been a while since I did a post that was just random thoughts.

Over the last few weeks I have been troubled by my parallel thought train. This is my Walter Mitty life where I am someone else. Lately it has been as a down and out sinner. A sex offender that will never be forgiven, waiting for the next unannounced beating, with the promise that I am beyond the grace of God and the only thing I have to look forward to is the eternal flames. When this happens, I can feel my blood pressure rise. Angry only at the these thoughts, I want to lash out. But I know this would only plunge my physical self into this imaginary world.

The other night I finally called out to God for the thoughts to go away. It took a while, but they ebbed out to sea. But the mind wasn't silent. The replacement was the face of a girl about four years old. She is crying in anger and frustration and her mother is nearing the end of her rope. I reached out and placed my hand on the tiny back and she crawled up into my lap. I quietly hummed a lullaby as she settled into blissful sleep in my lap. The mother took the child and laid her on a bed,

She began to cry and I placed my hand on her back. She cuddled in and whined about the burden of her daughter. I shushed her and sang the same lullaby. As she began to settle, the daughter came back into the room.

"Are you rocking my Mommy to sleep?"

The Mother turned. "Go on back to bed, Sweetie. I'll tuck you in in a minute."

The daughter walked over and placed her tiny hand on my chest.

"Put your head here, Mommy. You can hear his heart and you'll go to sleep faster."

We smiled and I grabbed her up, putting her on the other side. I said"

"Better yet, Mommy on the left side and Baby on the right. You'll both sleep well tonight."