Kind of difficult to read, which I assume was on purpose. The idea, or at least what I think of the idea, is a sound one and decently realistic to be morbid and a tad scary.

A few plot hooks and a short list of what the banks use your information for would be great. I realize putting those in are outside the transmission part of the sub but put it in for us knowledge freaks. Otherwise I like it. Go to Comment

I like it, but something just doesn't seem to sit well with me. He definitely seems a being, creature, entity or what have you, of evil and death. The concept of reducing what we know to be a being of pure light and goodness (some settings anyway) into its antithesis is awesome and you have done that. I just cant put my finger on it. Withholding my vote right now until I read it a few more times.

Current vote would be a 3/5 but wanting it to be higher. Go to Comment

I have an image to go with it. I'll try to link it tonight. I thought of the questions you asked about but due to time and the formatting messing up on me I forgot to add them. I'll fix it tonight. Go to Comment

Updated with a small bit of information per Dosstas' suggestions. And here is a link to an image that inspired said thought. Although the skull in the image rests on what seems to be a golden goblet, the Moira Chalice of Kormak rests on a similar base although it is made of blackened bone.

Apparently something I failed to put in there. While they seem no more than a nuisance at first, if left unchecked they will eventually drain the dwarf afflicted completely. Once that happens, they burrow further into the dwarf and it is raised as undead. I'll fix that and add it in tonight. Go to Comment

Many have tried to use this in an attempt to be rid of them, and indeed it has some affect on the fleas. But like their live counterparts they are extremely resilient. While it does rid them of most of the fleas, one or two usually survive. This is unknown why. Perhaps their undead eggs are immune to the affects of the holy water being as they are not currently undead and in a somewhat live, breeding state. Something I will also add later. Go to Comment