The Lion, The Other Lion and the Kipper

Once, a lion (Lion) was roaming through the jungle. It came upon a clearing (messy), where it found another lion (The Other Lion). Now, each one of these lions thought themselves to be the king of beasts, in the metaphorical / symbolic sense. But which of the lions was truly the king? To see who was the best, the two lions waded into the stream (oh yeah, there was a stream in the clearing). As lions have done since before the dawn of time (18th May, 1000 BTDOT, to be precise), they fixed each other in a steely gaze, put forward a glossy paw and extended their non-opposable, pad-like thumbs. At this point, both lions realised that a thumb war was not only inappropriate but physically impossible for lions. As they stood, three legs down, one forward, in the stream, as the sun began to set, a kipper swam between them through the water. Both of the lions immediately forgot their struggle and leapt for the kipper. The kipper, however, being a smoked fish, leapt out of the water and eluded them. So both the lions remained hungry until one of the lions, now clearly a computer-generated comedy lion, pushed aside some creepers and revealed a Pizza Hut restaurant. Everybody shouted hooray.