That One Decision

We are one decision away from changing our lives. I read that Facebook comment feed about teens that were charged with murder. That comment really stuck with me. Then I thought, how it works both ways. Both positive and negative.

I thought I made the decision thousands of times, the one that was supposed to change my life for the better. Only to find myself stuffing my face with garbage food because it tastes good. “I’ll start tomorrow.” Every time I told myself I’d change my eating habits and my lifestyle, I knew deep down that nothing would change.

I was aiming too high. I was going from couch potato to trying to do an hour of straight cardio. Cardio that wasn’t sustainable. To eating in a calorie deficit so great that was unsustainable. I never really wanted to eat healthier, I just wanted to out train the horrible diet. When the diet aspect of it failed, I’d just revert back to purging. I’d feel horrible guilt for losing control of my eating habits that I felt purging was the only way to make myself feel better, even though it was throwing my body into an even more unhealthy state.

When I first started experimenting with removing dairy from my diet, I knew what I had to do. I didn’t want to do it. I tried alternatives at first. I tried taking the pills that block lactose (which worked only part of the time). I remember asking myself “what am I doing? And what do I need to do to get it right?” Deep down, I knew that I needed to cut the dairy out completely. When I made that decision, I knew I was serious. I knew it would happen.

We make decisions all day long. Some affect our lives greater than others. Sometimes we try to convince ourselves to do something that we’re not mentally ready to tackle. The decision I made initially was large enough to affect my life but small enough to be doable. I had no clue that one day I’d be running marathons and ultramarathons. That decision lead to a chain reaction of events that completely changed my life. Unlike those teens I mentioned at the beginning, listen to your gut feeling. If there’s something in your life that needs to change, do it.