Joy of joys, we got to see Becky's entrance twice more tonight, just in case we hadn't noticed her last night. However, last night I did miss her first words in the house 'C'mon you b*****ds!' so I forgive BB. She is the People's Choice - loud, vulgar, screechy, and belching with gusto. And very like a whale in the pool. Sometimes I despair.Sometimes I don't though - her spectacular entrance was rather spoiled by the fact that BB left her to sit around wet for an age. Serves her right.

Lydia wasn't chosen for eviction - it's the first time all week that she has looked relaxed. She's sharper than she looks - she wondered how Arron has come to believe that he's got everything all figured out so young. The answer, of course, is arrogance. In the DR he slated Victoria yet again which I didn't like. It was unnecessary and rather spiteful for a man. Still, he'll get what's coming to him becase Scott has chosen him and is determined to have him. Scott was in ecstasy in the bathroom when Arron went into the shower. He oozed lust in his treacly Leslie Phillips voice, shivering every time he said naked, which was often. Interestingly, Arron seemed to me to be playing Scott- he's well aware of the situation and kept calling from the shower 'Can you see anything?' and talking about his body wash, reducing Scott to a jelly. I rather suspect that Arron accepts worship as his due. Certainly he's vain enough to string Scott along. On the other hand, Scott is cleverer than he is and far more focussed.This could be interesting if only Scott wouldn't say cringy things like he feels like 'giggling like a schoolgirl.'Another HM has been chosen - Luke S. By Ashleigh. She could not keep her hands off him, stroking, patting, massaging, but then pulled back when he got a little frisky with a sort of lap dance. Bit of a tease is Ashleigh. However, all is not lost - Luke S seems to be enjoying the attention.He's a lucky boy actually - he has also been chosen by Chris to hilarious effect. Chris is already worrying about the food budget (which is still four days away). he was very insistent about what he will tolerate and what not. Luke made some entirely reasonable remarks about the food choices and sparked a major row. Chris threatened to kick of if the budget didn't go his way. he threatened Luke with kicking off at him too. Luke, who appears to be imperturbable was unshaken and not even remotely stirred by Chris's venom. Picture a hystrical chipmunk, little fat cheeks quivering with impotent rage, chattering on at a speed of 100 mph - that's Chris. When it was pointed out to him that he was getting over excited, he insisted he was not - that it was Luke who was over excited. He knows this because he deals with these situations every day.I cannot imagine Chris dealing with any situation well but he insists he's a competent action man. Luke eventually walked away, still cool as cucumber, but Chris followed him about. A loathsome type - he would go on chattering and squawking till his opponent surrendered in self defence.He also had a go at Becky. He had asked her to guess his occupation and she said scrap metal man. The row with Luke intervened, but his grievance must have been simmering in his brain because he came back to it and ranted at her too. Five hours later he was on another rant - hilariously going on about Luke thinking he was alpha male with his perfect body, perfect hair, perfect white teeth... he is SO jealous! he was even more hilarious when he made up with Luke in the bathroom by decakring that they were equally alpha males in the house and that was he cause of their problem. Hats off to Luke for keeping his face straight.And still it wasn't over - it was Shievonne's turn to be the chosen one - she was selected to be Chris's confidante. he kept her up till dawn picking at hus hurts. How patient she was and how soothing. The ludicrous little fat man now agrees that the rows aren't worth £100,000 so he's going to make up with everyone tomorrow. Provided they agree he's alpha male, of course.

Yes, Chris entered my radar with an accreting splurge like (the title is an ink blot) by Gahan Wilson - for all the reasons Marion gives. This show is shaping up with grotesque promise. Not sure I can stand the pace!(I'm not sure why - but I think Caroline is one for my radar to watch out for.)

Yes, there is something about Caroline. She likes to act ditzy but has cold eyes; she's everybody's pal but couldn't wait to tell Becky that she cheered when Victoria was evicted. She's worth watching. In fact they all are. I'm beginning to get the feel of a very difficult group indeed, for all their shiny hair and 'isn't everybody great in here' talk.

AlphasAlphas steal sausages for hungry Hms; alphas smuggle jelly babies to sweet toothed HMs; alphas take charge of voting blocks.Becky is charged with making herself someone's favourite HM to gain immunity in this week's nominations. She has targetted Deana and tried to woo her with dirty jokes. When that didn't work, sharing her jelly babies seems to have. Peronally, I think being targetted by Becky must be an alarming experience: those huge wide staring eyes , the rapid muttering of the magic words 'Jelly. Babies', the knowing roll of the baby blues...I'd be scared stiff.

There is a shortage of food in the house. For some reason, Arron swiped an extra sausage for Chris and smuggled it to him in the bathroom. Chris refused it; Arron insisted; Chris was persuaded. It was all very touching. Deana also had a second sausage, in the belief that there was an extra one, which left Lauren without one. Arron's theft was duly noted, and Lauren, quite rightly, complained that some people were very inconsiderate. Somehow or other, over the next few hours, Lauren, the wronged party, became the villain of the piece, hissed at by Ashleigh and Sara and Shievonne when Lauren, (tipped off by Lydia) overheard them trashing her in the toilet. She duly challenged them and was reduced to tears by their onslaught on her character, and doubtless confused by their protestsations that they like her and are her friends. Not one to miss an opportunity, Ashleigh fled tearfully to the safety of Adam's arms and dragooned the poor sap into going to speak to the girls about the whole sausage scandal. He was instantly assailed on all sides by wailing banshees. His eyes glazed over in minutes. I lasted a little longer - until Sara and lauren patched it up. Lauren wept and Sara assured her twenty times that she really really liked her, in between complaining about the sausage scandal. All ended in tears and hugs and reassurances. This is why women so rarely win BB - their playground politics are tedious and wearing and messy. Already they have turned on Victoria, now it's Lauren's turn.One person has spotted this though - Lydia, stirrer extraordinaire, is trying to organise block voting as the men are doing - those men who never told the girls they were allowed to discuss nominations. Indignantly she told the girls that she had been told not to tell them this and rallied them to revolution ( although she omitted to tell them she'd tried to join the boys' group). She wants to put Arron up. Well, why not? The men want to put up two girls and a boy, or else three girls. Whether Lydia can hold them together is another matter. Their love of backbiting, bitching, and competing woth one another might well be their undoing.

And so to our last alpha, the greatest of them all, Chris. He kept apologising about the behaviour of the Demon Drink last night (it wasn't chris who said those bad things) and hoped that DD hadn't obscured the hundreds of good things about himself in the HMs minds. He threw himelf across Conor, who was asleep in bed, to apologise; he did the same to Arron. This is not how to win friends - he's too heavy to be throwing himself across anyone - I think they accepted his apologies in self defence. But not all his apologes will do him any good - his habits are gross, the girls say. He proved it by sniffing his own sweat, and confessing to eating raw onions the way others eat apples, doubtlessto prove he's hard as F***. Yeuch!

I've been spending all day wondering what to add to Marion's wonderful report of last night's programme. The housemates are promising a classic BB season, and my worst fears on day one are not being borne out. Worst fears about humanity however are being borne out by this series, but in the interests of a case study constructively derived from Reality TV. Best hopes don't always give us best food for thought ... about life, the universe, everything.

LATER: Well, tonight's episode provides an interesting psychological dilemma or conundrum regarding Becky's special mission via-a-vis Deana, and her reaction, and then Becky's counter-reaction. The ladies here are quite complex, as is Sara (with her Royalism and her under-the blanket chat with Becky, although this has vibes of the school playground) and Lydia claiming she is "being fed to a pack of wolves like a slab of meat". I'm sure there are hidden depths to Caroline, too - but we are never allowed see her to test this theory out. And Lauren is interesting, too, with a vague pouting 'clown' face that resonates with Caroline's.

Oh, dear, paranoia is spreading like novo virus.Arron complained to Shievonne about the way he was spoken to about a pillaged potato - but the drama fell flat as the sausage scenario was still the main topic of conversation. Lauren tried to milk it for all it's worth by played victim again, this time to Luke A. She tearfully mourned the way ALL the other girls treat her, helplessly declared that she didn't know what to do and batted eyelashes dripping with tears at him. Luke, bless him, who seems a nice type of fellow, was sympathetic and opined, unintentionally ironically, that there were people in the house with hidden motives...I hope he learned from Adam's mistake last night and doesn't get involved.She abandoned him then and went off to have Luke S massage her abs.She's some operator.

Sara also has been psychologically scrred by the events of last night and confided in Chris, insisting that she DOES like Sara but that ...something weird...The two girls got together to talk it all over AGAIN. There was much protestation of mutual affection, flattery larded on by Lauren, and an interesting throwaway remark from Sara that Lauren shouldn't want to be her. 'Trust me,' she said. 'You don't want to be me.' I detect a note of sincerity there. I wonder what her story is? On balance, I think Sara is more straightforward than the others, certainly less manipulative, and rather out of her depth.She did provide a classic BB moment tonight. After a few drinks, talk turned to the Royal Family, and Sara launched into the most heartfelt defence of the Queen and a vicious denuncation of her detractors. She was both hilarious and touching. Then they all sang the national anthem and Sara broke down and sobbed. Scott regarded her like an alien life form while carefully applying his blusher. Ah, Scott - Sara has passion. She FEELS. She does not adopt false personae and feign detachment.

Another hilarious moment was the sight of Deana and Becky working out together. Deana was willow slim and active, while Becky had to support her massive chest to prevent wobblage. She is certainly putting her all into persuading Deana to pronounce her fave HM. She even stroked Deana's hair and told her a cornflake fairy tale (naturally, Becky's bedtime story would be about food, about a cornflake pleading not to be eaten. As a girl who has patently ignored such pleas for all of her life, this scene was deliciously funny). However, there was a definite staged feel to this. Becky sat like a boulder on a rock, posing for the cameras and hypnotising Deana - it was a little too pat and cutesie. Is BB intervening with scripts here?In the end,Deana did save Becky and did the required 'no one lkes me-I am- friendless-and- the -one -person- who -seemed -to -be -my -friend -has- betrayed- me. becky befirnded her because she saw she was the weakest and friendlass. She did seem upset genuinely, and yet...hmmmmm

Scott has declared that he loves Arron after a touching conversation about man-bags (Scott keeps eau-de-cologne in his and presumably his blusher). Arron did not reveal the contents of his - probably a spare reindeer and snowflake baby gro. Again, Scott's declaration lacked oomph. There is much insincerity there. However he did look hurt when Caroline didn't name him as her fave hm. It was interesting to see that neither Luke S, Arron, Scott or Lauren were declared faves by anyone.

Lydia feels that she is a slab of meat being thrown to the wolves. She gets the blame for everything. She tried to stir division again by revealing that the boys had told her not to tell that they could all discuss nominations. She also worked on Deana's paranoia by exploding about Becky and Sara discussing people with a rug over their heads so that they could be private. She was right about this behaviour, of course. Unfortunately, Lydia's often right about things but I can't help wishing she wasn't. What a vividly wicked and twitchy little face she has.

Ashleigh is at her old tricks with Luke S - pawing him rather intimiately but telling him he can't do the same to her.It will end in tears.

LATER: Well, tonight's episode provides an interesting psychological dilemma or conundrum regarding Becky's special mission via-a-vis Deana, and her reaction, and then Becky's counter-reaction. The ladies here are quite complex, as is Sara (with her Royalism and her under-the blanket chat with Becky, although this has vibes of the school playground) and Lydia claiming she is "being fed to a pack of wolves like a slab of meat". I'm sure there are hidden depths to Caroline, too - but we are never allowed see her to test this theory out. And Lauren is interesting, too, with a vague pouting 'clown' face that resonates with Caroline's.

I still confuse Caroline, Lauren and Asheligh.BB should ensure individuality of appearance. Although I supose they did with Becky. What was her rear view like in those pyjamas? Unmistakeable is what. No one will ever mistake her for someone else in the house.

Becky opened the show in the DR, proclaiming that she's a moon.Nonsense, Becky - you would make three moons.Shievonne and Caroline have decided that they would be happy to date Chris - it would be a great night out Food would be good (if you could get near it).

Meanwhile, Chris asked Sara for fashion advice - the best she could come up with was lose weight.Scott deemed another HM unattractive - I didn't catch who it was - while he was sitting there plastered in blusher like a rosy cheeked Matryoshka doll. His stiff gelled hair looks as if his brains are seeping through his skull - stick a headscarf on him to hide it and he IS a Russian doll.

Chris fears nomination. He is certain that Becky will nomm him because she had a go at him the other night. Of course she did nominate him, but I rather think it was because he a real go at her.

Two HMs had a go at camera hogging tonight - Arron, bored, went up the forbidden stairs and lay down. He was feeling rebellious, he said, and didn't care if he got checked out. Later he put the bedroom light out. BB put it on. Arron went mad putting lights out. BB kept putting them back on. Arron complained in the DR but BB held firm to the notion that BB would decide when lights went off and on and suggested Arron go find something else to amuse himself with, and as further punishment, pu the bedromout of bouds to all HMs. This annoyed Adam who had some strong words for the still rebellious Arron. Arron backpedalled so fast you could hear tyres squealing. Adam is not a man whose displeasure is to be taken lightly. What humble apologies the tedious little prat offered Arron. And the light stayed on.

Benedict clearly felt he had to do somehting to get some attention - he lay in the bath, facing the cameras, muttering sexily to himself and calling BB dirty for watching him. You'd think he;d be used to that in his line of work.

Luke S and Ashleigh shared a bed. He was allowed a tiny little grope and permitted to discuss his intimate dimensions with her. It was a lacklustre performance (perhaps we should be grateful for that) and extremely unconvincing.

Nomination standouts :

Benedict - a smooth tongued farrago of hypocritical nonsense. I HATE the ones who nominate someone for their own good!

Caroline - she kept laughing and smirking while nominating - and at every other opportunity throughout the evening. There's a want somehwere in that girl.

Lauren - nomed Luke (why?) and then crawled all ver him. Oh, dear...Mostly they just accused one another of being fake.

Once it was announced that Chris and Arron are up for eviction, there were some little dramas. Chris pouted, looked suicidal, and declared he knew it would happen. Arron feels he was nominated because some people see him as a threat. HMs rallied round and hugged the pair, even the ones who'd nominated them.'F**** backstabbers' he called the house.mates. Chris agreed and the two men shared some companioable time in the bathroom complaining. In the end, Chris said he wouldn't mind going out to someone like Arron - he was glad he wasn't up against the like of those backstabbers.Quite.

So who is to go? I'm hoping Arron is out - hE's such a vain little prat.And Chris is classic blog fodder.We shall see.

... His stiff gelled hair looks as if his brains are seeping through his skull -

Thanks for the apt description of Scott, Marion.Day by day, we are ever being entrammelled by the collective guile and naivety of this whole group. I can't believe Becky is only 19. That bit about the moon, wasn't she talking about mooning rather than being a moon.Benedict: his talk of 'pleasuring' in the bath and the way he said it to camera plus his whole persona and backstory - he is the only real sore thumb. The sooner he goes the better.But of the two up for nomination, I prefer Arron to go.And we got a better view of Caroline last night. She is a half-garbled throwaway line in the collectivity but often throwaway lines are important.

... His stiff gelled hair looks as if his brains are seeping through his skull -

That bit about the moon, wasn't she talking about mooning rather than being a moon.Benedict: his talk of 'pleasuring' in the bath and the way he said it to camera plus his whole persona and backstory - he is the only real sore thumb. The sooner he goes the better.But of the two up for nomination, I prefer Arron to go.And we got a better view of Caroline last night. She is a half-garbled throwaway line in the collectivity but often throwaway lines are important.

Yes, Benedict was seriously unpleasant last night. The scene rather took me by surprise as he has been at pains to appear soft spoken, polite, even cultured - then that grossness - yeuch!Arron must go, definitely.

One of the best BB tasks ever - the prevent-yourself-laughing-or-grinning task in the face of clowns (both funny and Shievonnesque) - stilted and pie-chucking ... and in face of the natural tendency for mankind to laugh or grin when amused, emabrrassed, scared and simply 'at sea' in life's interactions. They even had the real Keith Harris and Orville turn up to ignite laughter.

The HMs were like Frankenstein's monsters trying (and often failing) to mould their faces by gyrning or gawping or yawning towards a serious expression without their fragile humanity also cracking - cracking in mirth and/or the general entrropy of self-made monsters. Arron's costumes he was made to wear by BB were just one ingredient in this thought-provoking as well as hilarious task. And Caroline's and Benedict's imperviously straight faces.

If one takes Chris at face value, he is out of his depth on the show - cracking up in a way that is painful to watch - and he should go tomorrow for his own sake.

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