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'Mama' Inspires 5 Short Films We'd Like to See as Features

It is often be the case that great things can come in small packages. In the realm of cinema, this translates to under 10 minutes. There is a distinctive artistry in short filmmaking. One could make the illusory coloration that the job of a short film director or writer is somehow easier, given the brevity of their resulting creation. The reality, however, is that the stunted time-frame requires the filmmaker to become adept at the economy of storytelling, and therefore to actually work harder to develop a narrative in a more concise framework.
It’s not a frequent occurrence, nor is it exceedingly rare that a short film will be picked up for adaptation into a feature film. This week, the wonderful Spanish horror short Mama sees its full-length iteration hit theaters. The Guillermo del Toro-produced Mama centers on two young girls found living alone in squalor, in the middle of the woods. When their new adoptive parents bring them home, it becomes clear that something terrifying has come along with them. Andres Muschietti, who also wrote and directed the short, helms the feature version. This got us thinking about some other short films we’ve seen over the last couple of years that would also be ideal for full-length big screen treatment.
The Legend of Beaver Dam
John Landis would be proud of this horror comedy short from writer/director Jerome Sable. It’s the story of an awkward young outcast, out on a camping trip with his scout troupe. As the night’s activities turn to ghost stories, which in turn accidentally awakens an evil monster, unlikely hero Danny is called upon to save the day. What is so outstanding about The Legend of Beaver Dam, and what we’re aching to see more of, is the spectacular musical element, and how this feeds an imaginative narrative structure. It would be great to see Sable team with Darren Lynn Bousman and Terrance Zdunich (the twisted minds behind Repo! The Genetic Opera) to turn Beaver Dam into a large-scale theatrical horror musical.
Grey
A carjacker witnesses a shooting, and inadvertently becomes the only one who can help a dying man. His conscience will not be the only thing tested. Marko Slavnic’s gritty crime drama is fairly simple in its construction. But within these few moments, we are presented with a probing, brooding character study that takes a phenomenal turn in its final act. It would be fascinating to see this twist altered to serve a running, tension-fostering conflict. Slavnic clearly has the directing and screenwriting chops necessary to hook an audience, and it would be great to see him expand this tale into a dark crime thriller somewhere in the neighborhood of Headhunters.
Dirty Laundry
This is a bit of a cheat, we are not afraid to admit that. Directed by Phil Joanou (State of Grace, The Gridiron Gang), Dirty Laundry centers on a familiar skull-tee-clad comic book vigilante who, in this adventure, stumbles upon a nasty assault while he’s just trying to do his laundry. Yes, we’ve already had two Punisher films, and yes one of them already starred Thomas Jane, but Dirty Laundry is a sterling example of how the right director, and the right tone, can make all the difference. Dirty Laundry is edgier than 2004’s Punisher, and yet more grounded (if only a hair less violent) than 2008’s Punisher: War Zone. Hopefully, the overwhelming response to this fan film will earn Jane another shot at the role of Frank Castle. Gotta love that Ron Perlman cameo, too.
No Way Out
Even abstract shorts films can provide a compelling appetizer for a potential feature; more than any other type of short, they leave us wanting more. If there is one short that left us ravenous, it was 2011’s No Way Out. Directed by Kristoffer Aaron Morgan, and co-written by Eric Vespe, No Way Out is a violent, cruel descent into madness wherein a man, House of the Devil’s A.J. Bowen, is pushed to his breaking point by hideous monsters in the dark. The production design, the cinematography, and the ghoulishly delightful practical effects make for a superb and haunting Lovecraftian nightmare that begs to be expanded.
Portal: No Escape
It would be impossible to construct this list without mentioning what is conceivably the best fan film ever made. Dan Trachtenberg’s ode to Valve’s sci-fi video game was artful and immaculately shot, tantalizingly hinting at the potential for a feature-length Portal movie. No Escape was so exceptional that it actually just netted Trachtenberg a gig directing New Line’s movie version of the graphic novel Y: The Last Man. Our guess is that if Trachtenberg were to also then direct the cinematic Portal adaptation, something for which we are all crossing our fingers and toes simultaneously, Guillermo del Toro would produce. That may seem like a stretch... unless you happened to notice the voice of GlaDoS in the Pacific Rim trailers.
[Photo Credit: George Kraychyk/Universal Pictures]
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I remember reading a review of the Meryl Streep movie It's Complicated that said it was "kitchen porn." The premise was that women of a certain age just want to see Meryl having some easy sex, drinking white wine with her friends, and building her dream kitchen. Well, 50 Shades of Grey has ushered in the age of "mommy porn," and Two Mothers, an Australian movie that debuted at Sundance on Friday night, has changed that idea all over again.
To boil it down, the movie is about Naomi Watts and Robin Wright (and a Penn written with invisible ink) sleeping with each others' sons. But it's not just about that. They play best girl friends from childhood who live across the street from each other. And not just across the street, they live on the beach on an ocean so blue it could play in a jazz club. They live in stone and glass boxes that would make a cover of Archetectual Digest feel like it looked fat and would never come out of its room again. And these aren't just sons, they are buffed, bronzed gods. They are castaways from Twilight movies (one of them, Xavier Samuel, is actually in a bunch of the films in the vampire franchise).
This is perfect mommy porn. Here are middle-aged women with impossibly good skin, tight tummys, and a collection of floppy hats that would make a Chico's outlet jealous (all the better to cover up Wright's hideous '90s lesbian cut). They get reamed by hard-bodied boys standing up in their perfect houses. They bask in the glow of their friendship, the love of their boys, and the love of their mates. They are a perfect unit. They have everything they could want.
Then it all goes bad. Of course it goes bad. This thing is not supposed to go well. It's two best friends f**king each others' sons who are also best friends. That is going to screw you up in the head. Not only is it that, but there is a homoeroticism that the women (who are constantly mistaken for lesbians) get to sleep with each other by sleeping with their progeny and the boys, the only two people on earth who can call each other "motherf**ker" and mean it, get to touch each other through their mothers. And then there is the idea that the women are bonding with their sons by sleeping with their surrogates. It's like a strange psychotic rhombus of romantic entanglements.
While the romantic entanglements are fun to watch (neither Samuel nor James Frecheville wear a shirt very often and we see both of their bums), we never really get quite to the bottom of them. They fail spectacularly not because of anything innate to the characters but something innate in the situation. It is meant to fail because it is never meant to happen in the first place. That is the only takeaway we get. When asked how the actors would face this situation in real life during the Q&amp;A after the premiere, they all responded that this would not happen in real life. No, it is porn. It is not just porn in terms of what women want, but emotional porn too. Some sort of exquisite joy and pain that is too good that we don't deserve it in real life, it is only reserved for the movies.
The other odd thing about the Q&amp;A is that director Anne Fontaine (a Frenchwoman working for the first time in English) said she didn't understand why the audience laughed so much during the movie. She did not intend it to be funny. No, the movie finds nothing funny about this odd situation and treats it with a sort of reverence and sincerity that makes many of the overwrought scenes into camp. It's a rare gem when we get something that isn't trying to be funny to get a laugh (though Fontaine says it is "ironic," but her English is as good as Wright's haircut) and that just underlies the main problem with the movie: no one ever gets over the premise. Basically this is a log line fleshed out into a 100 minute movie. Since it never bothers to deliver emotional stakes, we just get to watch people going through the motions, their most intimate moments laid out for our vicarious enjoyment and titillation. Yes, it serves the exact same purpose as porn.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
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It's funny to think that the world's love for Paul Dano sprouted from a role that involved about three lines of dialogue and a good amount of hostile grimaces. Following career kickoff roles like his gawky best pal character in The Girl Next Door and the aforementioned angsty teen in Little Miss Sunshine, Dano's surprise casting in Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood helped him to expanded territories quite impressively. Following a particularly busy 2012, Dano is now the primary name attached to Love &amp; Mercy, a developing biopic about music icon Brian Wilson.
The Hollywood Reporter reveals that Dano will headline the long-in-the-works River Road project, which looks to explore the psychological struggles of the time honored artist, whose mental health issues have long been a spotlit component of his celebrity character. Hollywood.com has reached out to reps for Dano and River Road for confirmation on the casting.
But Dano will not be the only actor to tackle the Beach Boys frontman in Love &amp; Mercy: as the film spans several decades, jumping from point to point in Wilson's creative plight and personal turmoils, River Road is looking to cast two actors to play Wilson: a young (Dano) and an old (TBD). Although this concept may sound strikingly familiar, at least this time around we won't have to see Dano struggle with the obligation to murder his older self.
Love &amp; Mercy has also reportedly attracted the likes of producer Bill Pohlad to direct and composer Atticus Ross to create the score for the doubtlessly musically-inclined film.
[Photo Credit: WENN (2)]
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You feel good? No? Not even a little? Maybe this news will help. Producers Mick Jagger and Brian Grazer (Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind) are moving forward with their James Brown biopic and about to proceed with casting after renegotiating the rights to the late King of Soul's life-story with his estate.
The project's been gestating for 12 years, and even had the approval of Brown himself before his death in 2006, back when Spike Lee was in talks to direct. But the legal wrangling over Brown's estate — he left the bulk of his $100 million fortune to charity, to the dismay of his children — delayed the film and forced Lee's exit. The Help's Tate Taylor is now set to helm from a script Grazer commissioned a decade ago by British screenwriters Jez and John-Henry Butterworth, according to a new interview with the producer in Rolling Stone.
Grazer estimates that even though casting has yet to begin, he's already invested about $2 million of his own money to develop the idea, and even hired Al Sharpton as a consultant for a while. “I like to make movies about mastery and genius, and it’s hard to find great subjects,” Grazer told the magazine. “And James Brown is a visually dynamic subject. A Beautiful Mind was hard because we had to get you to understand how schizophrenia works. This will be much easier. On the most visceral level, he sings and dances, and the performance of that contributes to defining him as the hardest working man in showbiz.”
Jagger jumped aboard once the Brown estate signed off on the biopic last year. The Rolling Stones' frontman was very much influenced by American blues and soul music, and you can definitely see some of Brown's raggedy, side-shuffling, dancing-in-place style in Jagger. In many ways, the Maroon 5-anointed "moves like Jagger" are really the "moves like Brown."
Brown's signature stage presence will prove a challenge for any actor to replicate. “We’re going to start casting and we’re going to have to test lots of actors and be determined to pick the right one,” Grazer says. “No movie starts in a day." The initial draft of the screenplay apparently included 30 musical performances, meaning that Grazer will need to find not only a gifted actor — one capable of harnessing the more sordid aspects of Brown's life like drug abuse, domestic violence, a 1988 multi-state car chase — but have major musical ability.
As far as we're concerned, there's only one actor who seems to fit the bill: Donald Glover. Childish Gambino is already one of the hardest working men in showbiz. Why not have him play The Hardest Working Man in Showbiz?
Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt
[Photo Credit: Rex USA]
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This year, Hollywood.com will once again be jetting off to Park City, Utah for the prestigious Sundance Film Festival. For 10 days, the small mountain town becomes the epicenter for all things movies, with A-List stars and filmmakers from around the world congregating to get their taste of independent cinema.
Sundance plays host to movies big and small, with comedies starring our favorite funny people, dramas sporting famous faces ready to blow us away, and complete unknowns ready to emerge as the next Beasts of the Southern Wild. Just because you've never heard of the director, lead actor, or lead actress doesn't mean the movie and its crew won't be walking the red carpet at the Oscars next year. This is where the journey begins.
To prepare you for the discoveries to come, our two correspondents on the ground in Park City, Matt Patches and Brian Moylan, sifted through the hundreds of films playing the festival to whittle down a list of their most anticipated list. The top 10 has a little bit of everything — check out their picks and keep your eyes peeled for more Sundance coverage to come:
ACOD
We've seen Adam Scott and Amy Poehler fall in love on Parks and Recreation, but can we buy them as adversaries? Scott plays a befuddled guy (and inspiration for his shrink's self-help book) who is trying to broker peace between his long-divorced mother (Catherine O'Hara) and his father (Richard Jenkins), who is married to the zany Poehler. If this is half as funny as it sounds, it will be the funniest movie of the festival. — Moylan
Ass Backwards
Every Sundance has its handful of breakouts and with a costarring role in the David Sedaris adaptation C.O.G. and a prominent part (as well as co-writer credit) on the midnight premiere Ass Backwards, that festival star could be Casey Wilson. She's due for it too: a brief stint on Saturday Night Live led her to become a regular on Happy Endings, and now she has her own flick. Ass Backwards, which follows two women who "both tied for dead last in their hometown beauty paganent" way back when, sounds twisted in all the right ways. — Patches
Before Midnight
This past summer, Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy, and director Richard Linklater headed to Summer to shoot the third entry in their "Before trilogy," the story that began with a romantic chance meeting in 1995's Before Sunrise and resurfaced for 2004's Before Sunset. Can the trio continue the magic by having the intertwined lives of Celine and Jesse connect again? With a heap of emotion invested in the fictitious pair, I sure hope so. — Patches
Blue Caprice
Sundance's NEXT category features a slate of low, low-budget films contending with the star-driven movies that have now become a staple. They're usually amazing too, which is why I'm keeping an eye on Blue Caprice, a black and white docudrama that puts us in the middle of the 2002 Beltway sniper attacks, all from the perspective of the shooters. My heart is racing already. — Patches
The East
Brit Marling and director Zal Batmanglij blew attendees minds in 2011 with their cult sci-fi thriller Sound of My Voice and they return this year to Sundance with a project that's equally mysterious. The East focuses on a contract worker infiltrating an eco-terrorist group — not too dissimilar sounding from Sound of My Voice. Marling returns, joined this time by Ellen Page and Alexander Skarsgård. A larger scope should give Batmanglij more playing room, and even more of a chance to repeat their previous success. — Patches
Kill Your Darlings
Daniel Radcliffe makes his first Sundance appearance playing poet Allen Ginsberg during his days at Columbia University. With a bevy of great actors (including Dane DeHaan, Ben Foster, Michael C. Hall, Jack Huston, Elizabeth Olsen), Kill Your Darlings may approach the biopic with recognizable indie sensibilities, but it's on our radar just to see if Radcliffe has a real dramatic life after Potter. — Patches
NO
What do we want for Sundance? Socially conscious indies from around the world that make us think while being entertained, right? Well, that and pictures of celebs in ski gear. No one will be skiing in this Chilean movie where Gael Garcia Bernal plays a real-life ad man in the '80s who engineered a campaign to get voters to oust dictator Augusto Pinochet. This checks off every box in the Sundance requirements while seeming original at the same time. — Moylan
Prince Avalanche
After two misses with Your Highness and The Sitter, David Gordon Green returns to his indie roots for Prince Avalanche. Pairing two actors I can't help but love, Paul Rudd and Emilie Hirsch, the film should meld the director's penchant for comedy and past character study work. If it's a happy medium, it should be one of the festival's best. — Patches
The Spectacular Now
The addiction drama Smashed was one of the best movies to play 2012's festival. Director James Ponsoldt returns to Sundance with his next, The Spectacular Now, adapting similar themes (alcoholism appears to be an important part of the tale) to a story of adolescent relationships. Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley, two up-and-comers with thoughtful work to their names, star, giving us hope that the movie digs deeper into youth culture than most Hollywood films would even allow. — Patches
Two Mothers
What's the only thing better than a movie about a woman falling in love with her best friend's son? A movie about two best friends falling in love with each other's sons! When the two mothers are played by Naomi Watts and Robin Wright (no more Penn) and directed by Anne Fontaine, it's sure to be a deep psychological insight about love and longing rather than the rom-com set up it sounds like. — Moylan
What movies are you looking forward to hearing more about? Check out the films announced to play Sundance and tell us!
Follow Matt Patches on Twitter @misterpatches
[Photo Credit: Benaroya Pictures]
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It’s interesting how appropriate a movie title can be, even beyond encapsulating the central conceit or touching upon some important plot point. Take for example Jee-woon Kim’s The Last Stand. On the surface, the title may only appear to reference that the story revolves around a sheriff whose small border town is the last line of defense against a marauding escaped convict. But there is another connotation: this actioner stars sixty-five-year-old Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnie has enjoyed a long, celebrated career of cinematic action heroism, but has reached the point where each new film feels like a last stand, a potential final note of glory for his expansive catalog.
Despite the harsh physical demands imposed by the genre in which he has become a staple, Arnold has managed the remarkable feat of continuing making action films well past his peak. Hollywood has long had a reputation of being a world suited for the young; where age is an insidious enemy. And yet a few special performers have managed to jump into the acting game well into their 30s and beyond with profound success. Others simply didn’t get their big break until they were more mature. We thought we’d take a look at some of our favorites and discuss why it took so long for them to achieve success.
Alan Rickman
Thanks to the Harry Potter films, Alan Rickman is more popular now than ever, but it was a certain skyscraping action classic that put him on the map back in 1988. Rickman was forty-two when Die Hard, his first film, was released. Like many British actors, he got his start on the stage, but he didn’t even enroll in the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts until he was twenty-six. So what delayed him from tackling acting sooner? Believe it or not, it was a successful graphic design business, which Rickman ran with his friends. Is it too much to hope for that those friends were the other dastardly thieves on the Nakatomi heist? Regardless of his previous occupation, his maturity upon entering acting school, coupled with the stage roles prior to Die Hard, is precisely what allowed for Rickman’s dazzling film debut.
Harrison Ford
Harrison Ford has become one of the most recognizable figures in cinema. His resume reads like a who’s who of superlatively iconic film characters. He’s Indiana Jones, he’s Deckard from Blade Runner, and, possibly most renowned, Han Solo from the original Star Wars trilogy. When Ford beat out the likes of Nick Nolte, Kurt Russell, Jack Nicholson, and Christopher Walken, among many others, for the role of Solo, he was thirty-five-years-old. With such raw talent and magnetism, why did Ford wait so long to give performing a whirl? It turns out he had tried acting once before, even got signed to a contract with Universal after he dropped out of college. But after becoming frustrated with his stagnating career, he decided to go into carpentry. It wasn’t until he met George Lucas and worked on American Graffiti that he got back into the movie star game. Thankfully, his rugged good looks only improved with age.
Steve Carell
There have been a great many film stars who began their careers on TV before making the leap to film. However, in the case of Steve Carell, he has jumped back and forth between the mediums with great success. But even if we go back to his seminal gig on The Daily Show, where he was a favorite correspondent, he was already thirty-seven. The first film role that would bring him notice was as the slimy anchorman Evan Baxter in 2003’s Bruce Almighty. A couple more film victories later, he landed the role of Michael Scott in the American version of The Office; Carell now forty-three. Once again, when it comes to burgeoning talent, comedy proves to be a genre without age restrictions.
Dame Judi Dench
When scanning back through all the actors who either began their career or got their big break later in life, one thing that becomes exceedingly clear is that there are far more men in that category than women. It seems the proverbial system is not as accepting of aged female performers as it is their male counterparts. We could postulate in-depth about the superficiality and sexual double standards of showbiz all day, but one thing is for certain, Dame Judi Dench is a force of nature on the screen whose age has not at all slowed her down. Like Rickman, she too got her start on the stage, but won her first major acclaim on British TV, just as she entered her late 40s. Of course, it was her casting as the James Bond franchise’s first female M in 1995’s GoldenEye that broadened her appeal stateside. She was sixty-one. Talent, real talent, has no expiration date, and Dench serves as a fantastic testament to that.
Rodney Dangerfield
Transitioning from one entertainment arena into cinematic fame becomes a common theme the more we examine these late-in-life movie stars. In the case of Rodney Dangerfield, he developed a name for himself as a standup comedian long before his first foray into film came in 1980, when he was just shy of sixty-years-old. His role as the outlandish millionaire Al Czervik in Caddyshack launched him into the filmic comedy stratosphere and made him a fixture of the 1980s. There is something to be said for comedy being more accommodating for this sort of post-mature transition. Comedy does not tend to present the same physical demands as do action films, nor are the standards of beauty as lofty. No disrespect intended, Rodney.
[Photo Credit: Lionsgate; Columbia; Warner Bros Pictures(2)]
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The problem with awards shows is that, no matter how much we talk about them and dissect them before they happen, it's hard to recall even one winner one year later. We spend a lot of time thinking about them and hardly any time remembering them. That said, I don't know that we're going to have that problem next January, since 2013's Golden Globes ceremony was full of moments that stuck out like, well, Jennifer Lawrence's boobs in that awful red dress.
First of all, we have to talk about Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, who were not only the most fetching Golden Globes hosts ever (but when your only competition is Ricky Gervais, that's a dubious distinction), but also the funniest. There's no denying their opening monologue was absolutely hilarious. There were no groaners and there were no misses — just two great comedians doing their best work. (Regarding how to distinguish the styles of the two host, Poehler delivered the punches while Fey played the part that you can't find in the fashion world: the straight man.) The jokes were edgy too – comparing the Hollywood Foreign Press Association to an STD, calling life with James Cameron "torture" (see Kathryn Bigelow's reaction here), and dissing James Franco for being a crappy Oscar host. Several of their jokes got the "Oh no they didn't" gasps that were Gervais stock in trade, but they were all accompanied by something that Gervais never got much of: laughs.
Sadly, Poehler and Fey were absent for large chunks of the show while the Golden Globes did what awards shows should do: hand out awards. The duo still delivered some great gags (see: their fake nominations for Dog President, a made-for-TV movie Animal Planet is putting into development first thing tomorrow morning), but the other presenters kept up the pace. Sacha Baron Cohen made some equally edgy jokes (one about Anne Hathaway's upskirt picture fell flatter than 12-year-old soda) and Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell's mustache did a wonderfully rehearsed gag that made it look like they were making up their introduction on the spot. Of course, Paul Rudd and Salma Hayek did have to make it up on the spot when their teleprompter went blank but, hey, it wouldn't be a live show without a snafu or two.
One of the biggest "What the hell?" moments was came courtesy of Bill Clinton, the former president of the United States, who took to the stage to introduce Lincoln. Granted, it's easy to assume he had an ulterior motive for being in the room (Hillary 2016 campaign contributions, anyone?), but why not get in on the Globes fun? And while he got a standing ovation, George W. Bush was at home watching a rerun of Swamp People.
Now, we need to talk about Jodie Foster's speech. Or should I call it a free associative ramble? Yes, as you heard on Twitter, the actress addressed her sexuality (sort of) while accepting the Lifetime Achievement Award for Humanitarian Goodness and Giving Us the National Treasure Nell. I'm not going to take umbrage with it... okay, I am. First of all, she asked for privacy from the stage of a nationally televised award show that is being watched by millions of people. That makes about as much sense as protesting people wearing fur at a rodeo. Secondly, she made us believe she was about to say the word "lesbian" in public for the first time in her life, but then pulled a bait and switch by saying, to paraphrase, "Haha, no I won't come out in public. Doing that would be disgusting, like being on a reality show. People who come out are as gross, unintelligent, and indulgent as Honey Boo Boo Child and anyone who does it is kind of a mess." Then she thanked Mel Gibson, an anti-Semetic homophobe with an alcohol problem, and sounded like she said she was going to retire but maybe she wasn't. The one thing she didn't do was apologize for The Beaver (which, like coming out, she really needs to do publicly), but otherwise she hit on just about every other topic germane to Hollywood today in her ramble. And it was amazing.
The other acceptance speech trend? Double dipping to get in a few more thank yous after stars' time at the podium was up. Ben Affleck had his wife Jennifer Garner get in a thank you for Argo producer George Clooney when she got up to present an award and Anne Hathaway used her time on the stage for Best Funny Movie or Movie With Singing when Les Misérables won to finish off her Best Supporting Actress speech. But there was a distinct difference between the two belated thank yous. When Affleck had Garner do it, it was kind of sweet, especially since Affleck won't have the opportunity to make an Oscar speech in a few months — despite his Best Director win at the Globes, Affleck was snubbed in the category by the Academy. But Hathaway? Ugh, Hathaway. Her interruption was inexcusable. It made the win about something other than the movie — it made it about her. Hathaway had already won. She had her moment! And her speech was already full of platitudes and seemingly manufactured surprise that will only fuel the inexplicable deep-seated hatred many pop culture fans have for the actress.
That said, at least she showed up. I've said it before and I'll say it again, we need to stop giving Maggie Smith awards — she'll never show up to accept them. She's gotten Emmys and Golden Globes and People's Choice Awards and Teen Choice Awards and American Music Awards and just about every honor under the sun. Why can't she make it? Was she at home with Judi Dench (another no-show nominee) drinking Crème de Menthe and talking smack about Julian Fellowes' wife? Ed Harris was also a no-show when he won for Game Change, but luckily Anne Hathaway got on stage and made another speech on his behalf. Meryl Streep also couldn't make it because she had the flu, but rumor is she was great in it.
As for the awards themselves, Argo and Les Mis taking home top honors in the film departments was slightly surprising, but the wins were hardly undeserving. On the other hand, the triumphs of Jessica Chastain, Daniel Day-Lewis, Hugh Jackman, and Jennifer Lawrence were a bit more predictable. As was the TV drama category: Anyone who watched the Emmys (or last year's Golden Globes) knew that Homeland would pick up its three awards. But Girls and Lena Dunham (who should only wear dresses that cover her tattoos) were non-traditional choices, but, then again, the HFPA has a history of rewarding eclectic comedies. (See: Extras, 30 Rock, and Glee.) A win for Don Cheadle (the only person of color to win and one of only four nominated) for House of Lies falls under the same jurisdiction.
But on Monday morning, everyone is going to be talking about the ladies of the night, Amy, Tina, and Jodie. They all made big splashes and created something that is even better than an award and will probably last even longer than a trophy. They, for once, made memories.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Paul Drinkwater/NBC]
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What do Eddie Murphy, Bette Midler, Paul Newman, and Angie Dickinson have in common? No, they all haven't been at the same party at Brett Ratner's house. They are all winners of a Golden Globe. No, Murphy didn't get one for Pluto Nash he got one in 1982 as the New Star of the Year. The what now?
The Hollywood Foreign Press Agency started giving out the Most Promising Newcomer award in 1948, four years after their inception, to the person they thought was going to be hottest new thing to take Hollywood. The first winners were Richard Widmark and Lois Maxwell, people your grandparents might not even remember. From 1954 to 1965 the award was given out to three to four men and women who the European journalists thought were going to take the world by storm. In 1966 the award switched again and went to an actor and actress for a specific movie and, possibly because so many newcomers didn't show any promise, was renamed. The first winners were Robert Redford for Inside Daisy Clover (I'm sure he was!) and Elizabeth Hartman for A Patch of Blue.
Those first winners highlight exactly the problem with this specific category: more often than not the winners wound up being duds. Sure Robert Redford is one of the biggest stars in the world but Elizabeth Hartman? Let's look at 1969 Leonard Whiting and Olivia Hussey were given a pair of trophies for their portrayal of Romeo &amp; Juliet. Whiting retired from films by the mid-'70s and Hussey went on to star in some crappy horror films and then become a crazy agorophobic who had a hard time leaving the house. These are your New Stars of the Year, ladies in gentleman.
By 1983 the Globes were sick of giving this award to turkeys and gave out the final salutes in the category to Ben Kinglsey and Sandahl Bergman. All in all, the awards have a pretty lousy track record. Of the 59 actors and 58 actresses given the honor, I count only 17 actors (Richard Burton, Anthony Perkins, Paul Newman, James Garner, George Hamilton, Warren Beatty, Terence Stamp, Peter O'Tool, Omar Sharif, Albert Finney, Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman, Jon Voight, James Earl Jones, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eddie Murphy, and Ben Kingsley) and 14 actresses (Shirley MacLaine, Natalie Wood, Jayne Mansfield, Sandra Dee, Angie Dickinson, Jane Fonda, Ann-Margret, Patty Duke, Mia Farrow, Tatum O'Neal, Jessica Walter, Diana Ross, Jessica Lange, and Bette Midler) who achieved any sort of lasting modicum of celebrity (gauged by, well, whether or not I know who the heck they are). That's a 28% and 24% success rate predicting the promisenessness of newcomers. You have better odds playing Scratch-a-Millions from your local lottery system.
I reached out to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for a comment on why the category was struck from the record and if they ever hope to bring it back. They didn't return my request for comment. They're probably still embarrassed about just how lousy their crystal ball is.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Frank Edwards/Fotos International/Getty Images]
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Half-used bottle of hair dye Lindsay Lohan made a porn movie. Well, not exactly, but she did star with adult actor James Deen in The Canyons, written by Twitter scourge Brett Easton Ellis and directed by Paul Schrader (of Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, and American Gigolo fame). Of course, we all want to hear all the dirty details behind the microbudget film and just how many rails she snorted off a naked DJ who is riding a pony and wearing glittery chaps.
Sadly, there is none of that in Stephen Rodrick's captivating New York Times Magazine story about the making of the film, but there are all sorts of nutty details that make LiLo sound like an absolute nightmare. You really should read the whole thing in all its dirty details, but here is a breakdown of the outlandish things she Ellis and Schrader had to deal with while making the movie:
Dina Lohan Butting In: "The actress’s mother, Dina Lohan, sits at the next table. Mom sweeps blond hair behind her ear and tries to eavesdrop."
Bitching About Liz &amp; Dick: "At their second meeting, Lohan complained to Schrader about a biopic she was shooting for Lifetime, in which she played Elizabeth Taylor, one of her role models. She proclaimed the director a jerk, her co-star a nightmare and the crew unfriendly."
Not Showing Up: "There was just one missing: Lohan."
Making Suggestions About Casting After the Cast Is Complete: "Across the table, [costar Nolan Gerard] Funk could see that his name had been crossed out in Lohan’s script and underneath were the names of three or four actors as possible replacements. [Brett Easton] Ellis saw that [James] Deen’s name also had a line through it."
Suggesting Cast Members Be Replaced with Jared Leto: "Lohan squealed and said, 'How about Jared?' Schrader nodded approvingly. 'Jared Harris?' 'No, Jared Leto.'"
Not Showing Up: "Then she disappeared for a few days."
Stalking the Director and Freaking Out When She's Fired: "She pounded on doors until she found Schrader’s room. As she banged on his door, she texted him manically."
Doing Her Own Makeup... Badly: "It was true; Lohan’s visage had a Kabuki quality to it."
Jumping Out of the Back Seat of the Car and Disappearing for a Lunch Break: "That’s when his passengers did a jailbreak, jumping out of his car. [Publicist Steve] Honig frantically pushed buttons until the gate opened and the four of them dashed for Lohan’s assistant’s car."
Being Distractingly Jealous of Her Costar While Locking Herself in a Closet Instead of Filming a Sex Scene with Three Porn Stars: "'The thing that’s going to explode from this film is James Deen!' [Schrader said.] Lohan screamed from the back of the closet. 'That’s what I’m afraid of!'"
Driving Drunk: "He noticed that she...had been drinking...Quietly, Pope told Lohan that he could get her a driver to take her home. But she refused, jumped into her Porsche and headed down the dark, narrow road."
Being Amazing: "Now, without the garish makeup, Lohan looked sadly beautiful, and it was easy to see why men like Schrader were willing to put their lives in her hands. The camera rolled, and Deen moved in slowly to touch her face."
Not Showing Up: "Lohan missed her morning call, and then she left the shoot for lunch with friends, running up a $600 tab on sushi, sake and vodka."
Showing Up Then Leaving Because of a Concocted Illness: "His diagnosis: An inner-ear infection. She was done for the day."
Partying All Night with Lady Gaga: "'Lindsay was out with Lady Gaga till 5:30 a.m. Her call was 6 a.m.'"
Quoting the Most Eye-Rolling Scene in Liz &amp; Dick While Attempting To Make You Feel Sorry For Her: "I needed time to figure out all the crap in my life that I’d created for myself, essentially, and I kind of realized, What am I doing? I like doing this. I like being here. This makes me happy. There was a line in the ‘Elizabeth’ movie where she says, ‘I’m so bored, I’ve never been taught what to do when I’m not working,’ and I’m kind of figuring that out now."
Coming Up with a Brilliant Plan to Get Access Hollywood to Foot the Bill for Production: "'We’ll have Access Hollywood pay for it. They’ll film it, I’ll answer three questions about the movie and then they’ll pay for it. It’s really easy.'"
Not Showing Up: "It took two months and the quasi intervention of Lohan’s father to get Lohan to finish two hours of looping for the outdoor scenes."
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Sodium Fox]
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There's nothing better than when a handsome young actor comes out of the closet like former Kyle XY star Matt Dallas (30) did on Twitter on Sunday. A new sexy homosexual means there is one more guy for all of the rest of us sexy homosexuals to lust after and pretend like we have a shot in hell with. Well, not in this case, because Dallas (the person, not the city) is also engaged.
Yes, Dallas made the casual announcement on his Twitter (43,668 followers and counting) on Sunday. "Starting off the year with a new fiancé, @bluehamilton. A great way to kick off 2013!" There is also a link to a picture which shows Dallas lounging on the couch with a dog. We assume that is not the Mr. Hamilton in question.
No, Blue's a musician (and quite a looker himself!) who has worked on songs for Justin Bieber and even has a credit for songwriting on Bieber's concert film Justin Bieber: If You Say Never I'll Never Sing Again. Apparently the couple have been together since 2009, the same year Kyle XY was canceled by ABC family. Still, this is the first time that Dallas has talked about his sexual orientation publicly. But, with a smile like his, you can expect that Out magazine will be asking him to talk plenty in an upcoming issue. Welcome out of the closet, Matt, and good luck with the wedding.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Bauer Griffin]
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