Tag Archives: ear condom

Let’s just say I feel, I feel that when I wrote Born This Way, I demonstrated a sense of maturity. And I feel that, on the next album, there’s a lack of maturity, it’s a tremendous lack of maturity or sense of responsibility.

Hiya Poutlings,

This is my promised blog post about the CRAZY that is Lady Gaga.

That quote above, is Lady Gaga teasing us with all this exciting talk of her next album.

Let’s just look at that first part for a minute:

“Feel when I wrote Born This Way, I demonstrated a sense of maturity.”

And now, let me present with zero judgement, a few lyrics from her BORN THIS WAY album.

Here’s the chorus from a song called GOVERMENT HOOKER

As long as I’m your hooker

(back up and turn around)

As long as I’m your hooker

(hands on the ground)

As long as I’m your hooker

(back up and turn around)

As long as I’m your hooker

(get down!)

Hooker!!

(Yeah, you’re my hooker)

Hooker

(Goverment hooker)

And the chorus from HAIR:

I’ll dance, dance, dance

With my hands, hands, hands,

Above my head, head, head

Like Jesus said I’m gonna dance, dance, dance

With my hands, hands,

Hands above my head

Hands together

Forgive him before he’s dead

And, my personal favourite, the bridge from JUDAS:

In the most Biblical sense,

I am beyond repentance Fame hooker,

prostitute wench, vomits her mind

But in the cultural sense

I just speak in future tense,

Judas, kiss me if offenced,

Or wear an ear condom next time

I’m REALLY relieved that she’s going to stop with all those mature song ramblings… aren’t you? Goodness me GAGA! You’re blowing my mind with all these RICH lyrics and this way advanced music! An EAR CONDOM, that is so… heavy! You said you are your hair… wow, that blows my mind.

But seriously, if there is another album full of that “Bad Romance” shit where she just makes noises and stuters all over the place and acts DRUNK, I DEMAND A FREE TICKET TO ANOTHER PLANET!! Even though I refuse to listen to the radio, it still finds its way into your life and sneaks up on you when you least expect it and you get the most terrible NOISE, (did you see what I did there, I didn’t refer to the so-called “music” as “music”, but NOISE!), stuck in your poor unsuspecting head where she is just stumbling around and making noise.

I would like to formally let Lady Gaga know, I’d prefer it if she skipped making anymore albums as my ears are already damaged beyond repair and I doubt I’ll ever be able to understand the concept of an ear condom, never mind in the Biblical sense.

To all the Gaga sheep who love the fact that they are not alone in the world of loving Gaga *pukes a bit in my mouth* just remember, to worship someone who clearly has mental problems, may not be good for the said person in the long run, and just because YOUR friends do it, it does not mean that its ok. Remember the talks on peer pressure and all that stuff at school? Same, same. Only different.