Saturday, January 31, 2015

When I was little,
everyone would ask me,
"When you grow up,
what will you be?"

I never had answers,
And confused it would make me.
"I cannot tell you now,
but I'll be happy."

I never had an ambition,
A "work title" as one would say.
It just never came to my mind,
As I would live by the day.

Now I'm much older,
To tell, I have stories!
But not just one would say,
What makes me, me.

When I sit down to think about who I really am, I paint a very confusing picture in my mind. Truth is, I had a long phase where I sought identity and was always disappointed to not find one, in the sense, I wasn't able to define myself with just one thing. I often get lost when I seek identity and now, I realise that it's okay, it's not possible to have just an identity and even if you do come up with one, it can be quite limiting.

If I really think about it, I feel I am so many people at once.

I think I am a dreamer first, a writer next, when I started writing poems and stories as a child.

I became a blogger when I found the channel in 2007.

My work life has mostly involved computers and though I have been seen in work environments as a technologist, I have also occasionally written and designed, and in that sense, I call myself a creator!

I'm the author of two short stories published in a book.

Sometimes, I go trekking with my friends and don the hat of an adventurer.

My hair forms a large part of my identity too.. Born with curls which then grew into smooth waves as I got older, and now are curly again, I've experimented with hair a lot - right from colouring, straightening to embracing their natural form again!!

Hair stages! :P

I like music a lot and though I am not a "dancer", I put on my dancing shoes sometimes and like to swing to music. I took up dancing classes a couple of years ago and got myself trained in three levels of ballroom dancing.

I am an explorer, a philosopher as I sit down with my friend Akshay or even Nikhilesh and chat with them hours together on life and all that's in it.

A traveller when I go on trips with family, friends, or occasionally, even alone!

I am a tea enthusiast and love experimenting with teas. Over a cup of tea, I dip myself in the bliss of solitude, in hours of loneliness as well as in interesting / warm conversations with friends!!

I am a fun loving friend when I am with Nimit, when all I can do is laugh and crack Kindergarten level jokes!! I love gifting, throwing tiny surprises and making people happy.

To sum it all up, there's a lot of things that make me up really and as each day passes, I am even more new things! Needless to say, I think I have stopped looking for the one thing that defines me now.

Like a friend once said to me, "Maybe your one thing is a million little things!"