Jaret's First SNP Run

By John A. Dodds

I've been waiting for some time now for Jaret to write a report on his first training run in
Shenandoah National Park. I don't think it's going to happen. In fact, I think Jaret is still trying to
forget that day. Good thing I have a pretty good memory even after all these weeks. Our day
started at 5:30 a.m. when Gary, Jaret, and I met at McDonald's in Gainesville. Gary and I like to
start the day with an egg/sausage/cheese McMuffin. And those greasy tater things. Jaret passed
on the food.

The best laid plans. I spent quite a bit of time
mapping out a course for us. The idea was to start at the Old Rag parking lot, run back down the
road, go up Nicholson Hollow trail and then veer left up the Corbin Mt. trail for a nice easy climb
to the Old Rag fire road. We would then come down the road for a bit and then make a left on
the Corbin Hollow trail for a nice descent. Then we'd be ready for a tough climb up the
Robertson Mt. trail on the way to Skyland. Gary nixed that idea and wanted to begin by going up
the Robertson Mt. trail which we did because Gary always gets his way.

Robertson Mt. Trail. I suppose if it hadn't been
raining, things would have been better. It's a tough trail no matter how you judge it: either by the
steepness or the amount of Jaret's whining. I, of course, accepted no blame because I had run this
trail before and knew it was hard; that's why I wanted to do it after we had warmed up on other
trails. When we later got to the Old Rag fire road, Jaret informed me and Gary that it had taken
us 56 minutes. And we figured that was about 32 minutes of running time because Gary stopped
to look at every wild f lower on the way up. Now, I'm pretty well used to this eccentric behavior,
but I sensed that Jaret was not. As we neared the top, the trail does not actually go to the summit
(if you want to call it that). However, there's a little trail that goes off to the left, and I asked if
they wanted to go to the summit. Without any discussion, Jaret made the turn and mumbled that
since we'd come this far we might as well go to the "f------ summit."

Shit happens. I have to mention that some of you
might find this section somewhat appalling. If you don't think you can take it, I suggest you skip
to the next section. After we reached the summit, we started down the trail. Gary was in the lead
now, and we were moving pretty well. Until he came to an abrupt halt. Wouldn't you know it,
but right there in the middle of the trail was a big plop of bear shit that had been rained on for
several days. It was nice and soggy. Gary spotted a little white object in it. He bent down and
poked it with a small twig. He thought it might be a tooth. So - he picked it up in his fingers and
started wiping off the bear shit with the same aforesaid fingers. After he got it fairly clean, he
picked up the twig and started "looking for more clues" as he said. He did find another piece of
bone which, once again, he picked up and cleaned off with the same aforesaid fingers. He tucked
both objects in his pocket, and we resumed our run. Shortly thereafter, I turned to Jaret and said,
"See, I don't really make stuff up in my reports. It all really happens."

Trash bag gang I wore a trash bag from the start
because of the rain. As we approached Skyline Drive (we were headed to Skyland), the wind
picked up a bit and Jaret got a little cold. I told him he could probably buy one of those
emergency ponchos in the store at Skyland. When we got to Skyland, Jaret headed for the store.
I went downstairs to the bathroom and then went looking for the supply closet which I found.
Two trash bags later, I came back up to the lobby. Jaret told me there were no ponchos in the
store. The trash bags were huge. I had a small pair of scissors with me, so Gary "tailored" the
trash bag for Jaret once he had it on. Most people in the lobby were somewhat amused by all this.
Gary decided he wasn't really all that cold after all so he didn't use the other bag. Two elderly
women walked by us, and one of them said we were the "trash bag gang."

Skyland fire road. For some reason that I still can't
figure out to this day, Gary wanted to run down the Skyland fire road which sort of goes
nowhere. And we did because, like I said, Gary always gets his way. I think I lost a couple
toenails on the way down. We got to the boundary of the park and Gary kept running which by
now was a gravel road. If I hadn't stopped him, we would have been at the Shenandoah River in
another 8-10 hours. I said to him: "Gary, running on a gravel road is a lot of fun, but I was
wondering if we could go back in the park and run on single-track trails." He came out of his
daze (or whatever he was in) and said that was a good idea. The end of the run was uneventful as
we came up the fire road back to Skyland, ran along the AT for a short stretch, and then came
down the Nicholson Hollow trail back to the cars.

The finish. We all have our different ways of
celebrating a finish. The options include shaking hands, holding hands, high-fives, etc. As we
came in to the Old Rag parking lot, Gary put out his hand to shake Jaret's hand. Jaret mumbled
something (I thought I heard the words bear shit) and refused to shake hands. What a weenie. I
gladly shook Gary's hand, and the fact that I was wearing gloves had nothing to do with my
decision.

Chunky. There's nothing better than finishing a long run and
opening a nice cold bottle of Yoo-Hoo and eating a Chunky candy bar. These are Gary's
favorites. I brought along one of those king-size Chunky bars that we could all share. Common
courtesy would dictate that I just pass the candy around and then each of us could break off a
square. But you don't really want to do that when somebody has been running his fingers through
bear shit. So, I broke off a square first and gave the square to Gary. I then handed the
candy bar to Jaret.

Purell. Once we had eaten, I remembered that I had a small bottle of Purell
hand sanitizer in my car. Jaret said he uses it all the time. So, I offered it to Gary. "What's
that?" he asked. I was a little surprised that someone in the medical profession hadn't heard of it.
Once I explained it to him, he decided to try it. Two days later I picked up a fact sheet at the
Pentagon health clinic on hand hygiene. Here's one fact: "Alcohol-based hand rubs reduce the
number of microorganisms on skin, are fast acting, and cause less skin irritation." Let's hope
so.

Parting of ways. Gary and Jaret had driven from
McDonald's in Gary's car. I drove separately because I was headed over to Massanutten to see
how Mike Bur was doing in the OD 100. As it turned out, I was his "safety runner" later that
evening. Anyway, as Gary drove away, Jaret rolled down the window and as they went by me,
Jaret said, "Thanks for serving the Chunky." I wasn't sure Jaret would ever run in the park again.
But much to my surprise, right in the middle of the picture of the group that did the Browntown
Loop is Jaret-and smiling, too. You'll notice that Gary and I didn't do that run. Which probably
accounts for Jaret's smiling and such a large turnout. Since that memorable day in SNP, the three
of us have each run a 100-mile race. We wouldn't be able to run 100-milers unless we get out and
do the kind of runs we did in SNP that day. For me, I have a more enjoyable time in those runs
than I do in the races.