So, when I had my wallet stolen, my driver's license went with it. Obviously. And since I'm renting a car when I go to California this weekend (for number one grad school's open house!), I needed one, like now.

Attempt #1 involved getting to the DMV at 3:58 pm on Friday and finding the doors already locked because no one at the DMV works a second longer than they have to (I'd say no offense to anyone who works at the DMV, but I totally mean the offense implied). So even though I got there on time, they absolutely would not let me in. Which is obnoxious because the DMV is at the end of the universe and I didn't know if I could ever get there before 4.

So on Tuesday I left work a few minutes early and get to the God-forsaken hell hole DMV at 3:49 and I was the LAST person they let in.

I brought a ton of work with me because I've never gotten out of this DMV in under an hour. So you can understand my surprise when they called my number before my butt even hit the chair. I was called over to cubicle #11 (which by the way, is the one with the big #11 on it. So if you walk around trying to figure out where to go, you look like a moron...) and she asked for every form of identification possible, including birth certificate, insurance, registration, passport and a sample of my blood (okay, not really, but I wouldn't have been surprised) and she typed it all in the computer.

And then she asked me if I wore contacts or glasses, which I do, and then she had me look into the monitor next to me at the tiniest line of numbers anyone has ever written.

And then she gave me a driver's license. With BLATANT failure of the vision test (I mean, blatant, there were supposedly 12 numbers on line one alone...), I was granted a license. I don't know about you, but I'm REALLY feeling safe in my car these days. Especially knowing that I can't see a damned thing and apparently no one cares if anyone can.

The only other flaw was that I accidentally wore a sweater the exact same color as the background, so my photo looks like the creepiest floating head picture ever.

A friend of my family is legally blind. She tried to go the DMV to give back her license and get an ID card instead. The DMV told her it was too much paperwork and that she should just keep her license!

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About Me

I'm a 26 year old former teacher turned full time graduate student. I live in Southern California after a 3 year stint in New Orleans with my husband Slappy (formerly The Fiance) and our cats (yea, we're those people).
In February of 2006 I was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation, which is a fancy way of saying that my brain was too big for my skull (get it? overflowing brain). On November 27th, 2007 I had brain surgery which allows my brain to exist indefinitely in my spinal canal. 13 staples, one cow heart lining and a multitude of doctors and medications later, I'm living a much improved decompressed life.