Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

Thursday 18

“Smallville” (KWBQ-19) Having burned up its allotment of small-town teenage angst over the years, “Smallville” finally gets around to converting itself into a full-fledged superhero series. Tonight, Superman, The Flash, Aquaman, Cyborg and Green Arrow (hunky young men all) unite to form the Justice League. ... So, remind me again why this is called “Smallville.”

BloodRayne (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) I spent a decent amount of ink trashing this film last year. If you didn’t see it (and the box office would indicate that you didn’t), you are now free to judge for yourself how cheesy this historical vampire flick based on the videogame really is.

Sunday 21

“The Dresden Files” (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) This new fantasy crime series is based on Jim Butcher’s book series about crime-solving Chicago P.I./wizard Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Think CSI crossed with Harry Potter ... only not as cool.

“Battlestar Galactica” (Sci-Fi 8 p.m.) Sci-Fi’s smashingly good series returns for its third winter season premiere. (Man, I can’t even keep track of these new industry terms.) When last we left things, the humans and the Cylons were locked in a race against time to find the mystical object which could point the way to Earth.

Monday 22

“Prison Break” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) When things left off on the fall season finale (so confusing), our runaway brothers were joining forces with formerly evil FBI agent Kellerman to find the president’s elusive, allegedly dead brother. Sounds like they’re planning to break back into prison now, which sticks with the show’s title, but threatens to stretch the bounds of believability a tad far.

“Heroes” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) They’ve saved the cheerleader. Now it’s time to send our favorite superfriends on to New York to stop that freaky, foretold apocalypse from wiping out the Five Boroughs. Have fun, kids! Watch out for Syler!

Tuesday 23

“State of the Union” (KASA-2/KOB-4/KNME-5/KOAT-7/KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and the half-dozen or so NeoCons left in the Bush administration will be really happy to hear tonight’s presidential speech about why war is still such a peachy keen thing. The rest of America is wondering what’s on cable tonight.

“Dog: The Family Speaks” (A&E 8 p.m.) Bounty hunter Duane “Dog” Chapman and his family talk for an hour about his recent arrest and extradition proceedings.

Wednesday 24

“George Lopez” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) George Lopez returns for a belated sixth season--just the sort of thing for viewers who have been craving middle-of-the-road family sitcoms about chunky, exasperated dads with inordinately attractive wives and wise-ass kids.