Monday, August 17, 2009

THE DINGOES ATE MY PROFESSOR

It’s an unreasonable fear only in that the likelihood of being attacked by, say, a ten-foot alligator is quite low... especially if one lives in, say, New Jersey, where such beasts are not part of the naturally occurring local fauna. It’s more reasonable if you live in south Florida, where a resurgence in the gator population has made things rough for small dogs and children.

But if you want to get paranoid about being attacked by animals, consider the unfortunate case of Lothar Karl Schweder and his wife Sherri, who were killed by a pack of wild dogs. Their mauled bodies were discovered by Jehovah’s Witnesses sometime Saturday morning.

According to the news report,

Authorities said they believe Sherri Schweder was attacked by the pack of wild dogs as she went on her regular walk either Friday night or early Saturday. When she failed to return her husband, Lothar, went looking for her in his car.

Authorities [said] he was attacked when he got out of the car by the same pack of dogs.

Now that there’s some Fucked Up Shit.

Alligators are pretty rare around these parts... but dogs? Not so much. Which is not a reassuring thought.

Lothar Schweder was a retired German professor who had taught at the University of Georgia. Savor the perversity, if you will, of his having been snuffed by Hairy Dawg’s real-life avatars. “Let the Big Dawg Eat,” indeed.

It’s as though I were to meet my end by being devoured by tigers. Gotta admit, it’s less likely... but no less amusing.