Wisdom from The Fairies and Me

Posts tagged ‘2012’

The word “apocalypse” does not mean the end of the world. The true definition, from its Greek counterpart, is something that has been hidden being revealed. It means a revelation of truth. We are definitely in those times. Those end times. The times when that which has been hidden is being; revealed, underlined, highlighted and marked with a star. Denial is no longer an option. Some people need to leave this planet or this reality to join with the truth. Some people just need to face it and acknowledge it. It seems to me that the keys to our expansion are being handed to us right now. I had a BIG revelation this last weekend as did several of my friends and family. The ideas, relationships, feelings, etc., that had been the proverbial brick wall that we were banging our heads against suddenly became very clear. Instead of beating our brains against it, we were able to step back and look at clearly, as if for the first time. Sometimes clarity can be like a gentle sigh of relief that allows the ropes tied around you to fall away and at others it is the white hot intensity of a million suns melting away the chains you have bound yourself in. Either way the clarity sets you free. It allows you to see where you have punished yourself, shamed yourself, and blamed yourself (or those around you, or the universe). The clarity can feel like it is about other people, events of the past, or the situation we are in, but it is really about how we have lied to ourselves.

The last three months I had been in what felt like a downward spiral. I had lost confidence in myself and my abilities. I had doubt about what I had been doing or where I was “going” in life. I told my husband that I felt like I had spent the last 20 years building Stonehenge by myself. I had been carrying these huge blocks to the right place, carving them, and shaping them and setting them. People would come by and look in awe and say, “Wow that is really amazing. You are doing something really profound.” and then they walk away. I was thinking why the FUCK am I doing this! Is this really doing anything for anybody? More importantly is this really doing anything for me but causing me pain and wearing me out? We all have these dark moments when we need to question what and why we do what we do. It led me to a big “A Ha!” that was actually a few “aha”s put together. The core of it is this. We are magic. I am magic. You are magic. We have to face our denial and fears so we can let them go and focus back on the magic of who we are. I kept trying to protect those I love from the world. If you asked me I would tell you that I felt safe and on a certain level that was true. I as a singular person felt safe and trusted the Universe to take care of me. I did not trust that those I love would be safe. Some how they needed me to protect them. How arrogant am I? I was interfering with other people’s paths for what I thought was best for them. I thought that I had to take care of them because I couldn’t trust that they were safe in the world. This includes various family members, friends, my husband, and my children. When I clearly got it I saw why I felt so alone. I had not let others in to help. I also had not given myself the space to fall deeper into my “work” by distracting myself with taking care of everyone else. The reason I was losing confidence was because I let others set my standards of success. Also I had ideas about what results I should be getting or how others should be “healing” from my actions with them and it was not manifesting that way. We manifest from what we need. I needed to see how I was interfering with others’ paths to avoid mine.

As we see all that is being revealed, be it personal or global, I hope your clarity feels more like a sigh of relief and you are able to celebrate your new freedom. For inspiration I suggest listening to “I’m Free” by The Soupdragons.

Many people start a powerful spiritual path with the idea that everything is now going to be pleasant. That because you are co-creating with God, talking to your guides, choosing the deeper spiritual way that it is smooth sailing from here on out. That the Fairies are going to magic away all of your problems. Then when things aren’t that way they feel like something is going wrong. The path is different for everyone but it seems that everyone has their moments of struggle, of feeling lost, and of doubt. One night when pondering this I wrote the following:

I stumble on this path I walk.

Feeling frustrated, broke, lost alone, and tricked again.

I know there is a plan. I created it so long ago,

That I can’t remember the purpose my friend and I had.

I smile at the thought of the moment when it reveals itself like a sudden crash.

It is the bolt of light that illuminates all for an instant.

I have had those blinding moments before.

They are what keep me chasing this storm;

This storm that shakes the old foundations.

This storm that pours refreshing waters almost painfully down on all.

When I feel like it is too hard, wet, and dark; I hear that rumble.

I feel it in my toes and I know the flash is coming.

Then that blinding light hits my soul.

I burst with laughter, reminded of the beauty, and feeling the love for all.

Including the stumbling, broke, lost, and bitter person I am at times.

I tell you this to give you hope. If you have times that you want to give up. If you think you have lost faith or don’t believe anymore. It’s okay and it’s normal. Let yourself feel these feelings. It means you are getting to the bottom of your resistance. It means you are close to another break through and you need to get broken down to surrender. Just know that you will then have an amazing experience very soon that will confirm everything for you. We are human beings with lots of feelings. These feelings help us navigate our paths.

The concept of a spiritual path is one that I think gets taken too literally. This is not a path from point A to point B. It is a way to experience life. We are not going anywhere on our spiritual paths. There is nothing to obtain. It seems to me that many keep looking for where “the path” is taking them. It’s like they are expecting some pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The path is about stability. A spiritual path, no matter what it is, is the support you turn to, the beliefs that create your life, the magic you can connect with to remind you of the larger whole, and where you receive your guidance day to day. It is about moving through your experiences with grace not achieving something. It is about moving through your emotions to feel with clarity. Stop looking for happiness, success, and love. Stop looking for the new instructions to “lead you in the right direction”. Just be happy. Just be a success. Just be love. Stop “following a spiritual path” and instead feel, hear, see, taste, smell, and be your path.

We are in the midst of earthquakes, hurricanes, political questions, financial struggles, and relationships shifting. It is enough to make someone yell WTF?! Many have been talking about this being an opportunity for us to shift from fear to love. That we need to put our focus on love and let go of fear. This is easier said then done. I wanted to help all of you get a larger perspective of what is happening, get a message from the Fairies, and give you a simple exercise to help you keep your center. I was hoping to this in the form of the video but, as I will explain, things are not going smoothly right now and it has to be in blog form.

We are currently heading toward Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, All Saints Day, or Samhain. No matter what you wish to call this magical time of year, it is when they say the veil is the thinnest. What does that mean? Well, it means that it is easier for us to communicate and experience beings in other realms of existence. These could be Ghosts, Ancestor Spirits, Angels, ETs, Animal Spirits, Fairies, etc. There is a thinning within us that opens us to the idea of something more then what we experience in our day to day. This is a time when our soul seeks magic. We are also in the year 2012. This is the year when an energy that has been building for a long time is hitting its peak. The peak will be at the end of the year which is almost upon us. I see this energy as a shift in Humanity moving from a fear based reality to a love based reality. So, as we head toward the time of year when our soul longs for magic, and we are in a time when we must face our fear and move through it so we can live from love, we end up with a lot of chaos. What Humanity fears almost more then anything is the feeling of a loss of control. So we experience these many different ways of being out of control. This pushes us into trust and the energy of love.

It is very important for you to know that if you are feeling fear then you are doing everything right. The fear has to come up. It may rise as anger, sadness, anxiety, or depression, as well as feeling scared. It is important to let the feelings rise and release. Do not try to negate them to push you into love. You must move through them into love. Also know that November is going to be one of those portals time. One of those months when we experience a lot of deaths, major changes in jobs, living arrangements, and relationships. It is no accident that the election is in this month. This is also a time when things will not feel like they are going smoothly. Be very careful and clear with your communication. Be very clear on your intents for projects or even just your day. When glitches happen; breathe, stay calm and allow yourself to find the solution or another way to do what you want. Like when none of the cameras in your house work for you to make a video so instead you have to make it a blog.

I asked the Fairies for a message for everyone and this is what they said:

“This is the time for Humanity to remember they are magical beings who can create amazing experiences. When you focus on fear and worry you can create that fear and worry ten fold. This is not a bad thing. Humanity needs to face their fears and worries and experience them to realize they are more then these fears and worries. Too often you tell yourself that if X or Y happened then that is it. It would be the end of you, your life, or your existence. But we promise you that when X or Y happens you will rise above it. It will not be the same experience you created in your head. As humanity keeps facing their fears they realize that no matter what happens they will go on. Life will keep evolving and changing as you do. Some events may bring an end to the way you are but if your life changes that dramatically you will see it is for the better. Let these current events strip you down to the beautiful Divine light love core of your being. When you stand in this energy nothing can threaten you, because you know your connection, purpose, and value. We are with you always on this journey. Please ask for our help at any turn.” ~ The Fairies

The Fairies also gave me an exercise to help with this process.

Get yourself comfortable. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and focus on the light in the center of your being. Watch this light spread through your body filling you up. Now bring forward what ever you are worrying yourself with, afraid of, or stressing about. Experience this as an object in your hands; however it wishes to take form. See how small it is, take some time to look at it, feel it, sense it. Now ask the Fairies to come and take this away from you. Ask them to bring you a solution. Affirm that you are no longer wishing to trouble yourself with it any more. Now bring you focus to the light energy that has filled up your body. Allow this energy to expand out and fill up the room you are sitting in, then the entire building, then the entire city, state, country, world, and keep expanding out until you are connecting with the Sun. Then let it expand bigger. Realize that you can no longer see the room you were in or the problem you held in your hands. Let yourself be in this limitlessness for awhile. Then bring your awareness back to your body knowing you are still connected to that limitless energy.

I hope this helps you expand your consciousness about these events and brings some comfort to you. I send love to each of you and thank you for receiving it.

I am a recovering alcoholic. Today, October 22, 2012 I have 15 years sober. Part of being a recovering alcoholic is that you continue to take moral inventory of yourself and your life. This last week I have spent a lot of time reflecting about my past. I am so grateful for my life today and how amazing it is. I am often humbled by the experiences I have had. I have often said it is my ego that took me on my downward spiral and it was humility that brought me back. I work very hard to not allow myself to fall into my ego including the magic I experience on my spiritual path and in my spiritual work. Then I had a revelation, maybe I do this too much.

I have felt that I love myself and have done a lot of work around self love over the years. I can look in the mirror and say “I love you.” I feel like I am a good person and in general feel good about myself. I use to hate myself. There was a time when I wanted to kill myself. There were days when I could not look at myself in the mirror. Those days are behind me and I have made great improvement. I realized that, though I have improved by leaps and bounds since then, I have kind of hit a plateau. I got myself to a baseline of self-love. I can see the Divine in me. I can love who I am. I hold it right there. I don’t take in the gratitude and love and support of those around me. I don’t allow myself to see myself through the eyes of all of those around me. I do this for two reasons.

The first reason is the ego issue. My ego will tell me I know better then God or anyone else and convince me to make horrible choices, so I resist it. I also resist pride and in turn my confidence is shaky. When someone experiences a great healing session, or is moved by the words from The Fairies, I don’t take any ownership. I am just the vessel. What I forget is that the vessel is a part of the whole experience. Any caterer can tell you that what you serve the food in can greatly impact how the food tastes. How something is presented effects how people take it in. I am a part of the experience and yet I negate my part.

The second reason is that I have given my power away to others and they have not validated my goodness. Over the years I have let the opinions of family members or friends judge me. For one reason or another I thought that they knew more then me, or had a clearer picture of me, and would let their opinion matter most. I have been dismantling this, especially this last year. Sometimes I have a thought about myself and I have to ask myself if it is my own thought or one that I adapted from another. The really odd thing is I could have dozens of people telling me how great I am but a negative comment from someone I gave my power to would have ten times more weight. Why? Because I had already made the choice that they held the power.

I have made the decision to take my power back and be proud of whom I am. I will take in the compliments, when they come, as truth for me to hold. I will receive with gratitude the love and support from others and the universe. Most of all I will honor my part in all of this creation that is my life. I will no longer love myself at the bare minimum afraid of my ego. I will embrace my magnificence and rise above the petty thoughts of others. I hope that all of you will join me and we can sparkle with the stars together.

Last Saturday I had the chance to go to a concert with my brother in Seattle, WA. It’s been about a decade since I have been to a concert. (Well, I did take my children to see those colorful Australian guys who sing about cold spaghetti years ago, but I don’t count that.) The last couple months have felt hard and I was really looking forward to an evening of just letting it all go and being in the music. In the midst of this amazing night of thumping beats I had a moment of clarity. The song that was playing encouraged everyone to rise above their experience and come together to create a better tomorrow and be empowered. I looked over this crowd of people all dancing, bouncing, and singing together while crammed in a hot small club. The age range was pretty wide spread; children as young as ten and adults who probably had experienced the protests in the 60s, though most were between the ages of 15-30. It was also very Diverse and I don’t just mean both men and women or lots of races but people who seemed part of the corporate world to old school punks with metal covering their faces and jackets, girls who looked like they stepped out of a rap video and a mother dressed for a PTA meeting, preppy kids to kids from the wrong side of the tracks, you get the idea. As I looked at this crowd I realized all these people could relate. All these people needed someone to vocalize their frustration and then give them words of hope. All these people were experiencing their hard times and needed an evening to just let go and be in the music. This was my gentle reminder of the Universal energy we are in.
It is 2012, the end times and the beginning times. This is the peak of transition. We have been building to this for decades and it will be years before we truly grasp what it is all about. Yes there is chaos, time feels sped up, and people are having tragedy after tragedy in their life. Relationships are falling away and it seems like every system is breaking down. I get concerned when I see the blame getting tossed around. This not the fault of the Democrats or the Republicans, the Christians or the Muslims, the Rich or the Poor, Your nation or Our Nation. This is the time we are in. You can feel powerless and frustrated and think you are cursed and stuck OR you can make new choices and trust that the Universe is finding its balance.
When you experience challenges in your life you are being asked to make the choices that are in alignment with your beliefs and your heart. The Universe is gently reminding you that the old ways will not work anymore. If you are finding conflict in your life it is because you are in conflict with what you are doing. These are gentle reminders to stop the habit of the “safe” path and take that leap of faith. Sometimes that just means deciding to look for a new way. You don’t even have to make the change right now. Just make the commitment to change when the new way or solution presents itself. You can figure out the smallest step that you can do right now towards a new way and do that step.
In this process please be gentle with you. Yes it feels hard and you may want to blame yourself for not doing it “right” or “better”. You are doing the best you can right now. Everyone is. You are doing it exactly the way you need to right now. Rest when you need to and push through when you need to. Feel as much as you can. Those feelings are your compass. Trust your gut and your hunches. Do not rationalize yourself out of opportunities. Instead I suggest whenever possible show up and see what the universe has for you. You may be surprised.
As we all do this, we all rise up together. We all start creating this new way to replace the old. We all slowly become the people we truly are, living in a world we want, experiencing a reality of love. All of you know this already. I am just gently reminding you of why you are here today doing what you are doing and helping over the hump that you may have got caught on. Let these words pull you over that pile of self-doubt, fear, anger, hurt, and/or despair. You are on your way up and we are in this together.

I feel like I have lived multiple lifetimes since my last blog in June. The Fairies have assured me that we are experiencing things “sped up” so we are processing, releasing, and experiencing things on a very different level. Welcome to the peak of 2012. Many experienced the intensity of the astrological dance that happened over the last couple months and feel drug behind a bus. The truth is; we all have been stripped of a layer of illusion. Many are finding that they have to let go of relationships that have been key for the last decade or more. Do not feel guilty about this release. You can find the gentlest way possible and allow yourself this freedom. They need this for their path as much as you do. Old family dynamics are shifting. This too is needed. All that you have experienced is what you needed to gain clarity and shift out of the limiting illusions that you have been living under. We have all had a level of self oppression that has been lifted in some way. I asked the Fairies to give me a message about this and the upcoming Blue Moon. The Fairy of the Blue Moon stepped forward and gave me this message:

“Humanity is preparing for a massive shift of consciousness. This last decade has been a slow turning of the wheel that gradually gained speed with every turn. You are now going at a very fast pace. It is time for you to surrender to the flow but consciously move with it. Do not allow yourself to just be pulled along or to resist it. You must speak your truth and be clear about the experience you wish to create. Then detach from the details of how. Then detach from what form you believe it should manifest in. Then detach from your ego’s idea that it has any control over your path. Accept that not everyone you have known and cared for will be joining you on this ride. Accept that the world is in the midst of huge change which means you are experiencing the chaos of the shift. Accept that no matter what you perceive and judge is happening; it is all Divine, and perfect, and part of your highest good, and the experience that will bring you a step closer to your next goal. You are being handed the sword of your power to wield. It is your choice to grasp it. It is your choice to use it. It is your choice to align with the light of the One and your Authentic self. Otherwise you continue to create struggle by denying yourself. The easiest and softest way is to stop pretending that you can contain the limitless magical being that is you in your limited physical reality and form. This Blue Moon is the perfect opportunity to experience your limitlessness, your full consciousness, and your complete Divine beauty. Open to this amazing light and experience you. No matter what you do or experience or create, there will be a shift. This moon brings clarity for all.”

I have been determined to create an oracle deck for ten years now. In fact my first book, The Expanded Gateway: Messages to Expand Your Consciousness, started out that way. It is something that has sat in the back of my mind for ages waiting to be birthed. In September of 2011 I got a very strong message that it was time. I had decided to create professional manuals and have them printed for all of my workshops. In my Fairy Connections Workshop I have the attendees pick a Fairy themed oracle deck, from the pile I own, and practice using these as tools to connect to their own Fairies to get information. I knew that I needed to create my own deck for this exercise that people could take home with them. The Fairies were practically screaming at me that I needed to do this. I actually “tuned in” and went into conversation with them. My downfall is I am stubborn and like to think that I know better about my own life then The Fairies.

I sat them down and told them “I do not have the strength to go through this process again. I do not know where to begin to create the deck and I do not think I could put the time and energy into creating the graphics for each card with everything else on my plate. If you want me to do this deck you better bring me an easy way to make them and an artist willing to be paid later.”

The Fairies simply smiled at me and said “okay”
I then became concerned because I realized that, once again, I had agreed to go kicking and screaming down my path.
Over the next couple months I discovered a POD (Print On Demand) site that was created for making card and board games. Many people had started using it for oracle and tarot decks; so much so that they designed templates specifically for this. Okay the first hurdle cleared. I could make this deck. I was still worried about finding images. The Fairies told me not to worry about that and to start gathering their words for the messages for each card. I asked how they wanted me to do this. Their answer was to scour the daily Fairy Wisdoms I had been posting on Twitter and Facebook for the last couple years and pick the ones that felt right. I thought “Well that will keep me busy for awhile. I guess I don’t need the images yet.”

Then in December my mother had a ThetaHealing Workshop. A woman named Ann who had been a client of my mother’s, and mine, for years had decided to audit the class. At the end of the workshop she gifted small paintings to everyone in the workshop. The day after the workshop I went to my mother’s office and she showed me the painting.

“Ann paints?” I asked
”Well she wants to, but these came from a dear friend of hers who has passed. She had collected like 200 or something before she passed. Ann just loved them.” My mother explained

I instantly got tingly all over. “I think these are the images for my deck!”
I contacted Ann and asked if she would be willing to let me digitize some of the paintings and use them in my deck. She would get a percentage of the profits of course. Ann was overjoyed. She told me that she had prayed for a way to get these images out into the public about the same times I was praying for images. She then told me the story of the artist.

Florence Sibley painted for years. She would channel Archangel Gabriel and paint. Florence was like a sister to Ann. They both were very spiritual and supported each other spiritually. Florence’s passing was a deep sorrow to Ann and she had let the paintings sit for a long time because it was hard for her to think about letting them go or releasing them. Now she knew it was time and wanted to share the beauty that Florence created with the world.

I knew that these were the images I had been looking for so we agreed to meet in January after the holidays. It took multiples meetings with Ann covering her kitchen table and surrounding area with all the different paintings. Some of the paintings were large enough to hang in a gallery and some the size of two postage stamps. All of the paintings had an aspect of nature but I was most drawn to the ones with winged and energy beings in them. I just picked the ones I liked, was drawn to, and/or felt right.

Then came the day I had to start designing the cards. I felt overwhelmed by the amount of images and messages I had. After looking at specifications on the POD site, and conferring with the Fairies, I discovered I needed to make a 71 card deck. I decided to number the messages and then use the image that matched it the best. I was amazed at how well the messages and the images went together. It was like watching long lost puzzle pieces clicking into place. I also was surprised at how tiring the experience was. That was when I realized The Fairies were encoding each card with energy. They gave me techniques to allow this to happen easier and not be so draining on me.

Now I am here. The day I get to start pre-order. I am so excited to share this magical deck with everyone. It has been an amazing experience and I know the journey of this deck has just started.