Cutthroat Island cost almost $100 million to make, and when it came out in 1995, it managed to earn slightly more than $10 million domestically. It was directed by Renny Harlin, who was basically Michael Bay before Michael Bay was Michael Bay, and starred his then wife Geena Davis. The film bankrupted Carolco, the production company, which had previously made Basic Instinct, Cliffhanger, and Terminator 2.

Recently, while promoting his newest crappy movie, 5 Days of War, Harlin talked about the Cutthroat Island fiasco with Kim Masters on KCRW, and for the first time, he says he knew Carolco was going bankrupt before the film came out, and says he actually begged not to make it. I hope you’re writing this excuse down, M. Night Shyamalan. What’s that? I just wasn’t European enough to understand? Hmm, not the way I would’ve gone, but I guess that works too.

“I’ll tell you another detail that people don’t know about. Originally, Michael Douglas was supposed to star in Cutthroat Island. And he walked away. At that point I was left there with my then-wife, Geena Davis and myself, and a company that was already belly-up. We begged to be let go. We begged that we didn’t have to make this movie. And I don’t think I’ve ever said this in any other interview. We begged that we not be put in this position.”

“Geena was scared mindless about headlining this film. We felt that a pirate movie with a female lead was suicidal, but we were contractually obligated. And we were so concerned about the script at that point that I personally spent a million dollars of my own money, I hired Mark Norman, who had won an Oscar for writing Shakespeare in Love. So I tried to hire the best writer in the business. Because, again, Carolco said, “we don’t have money. We don’t care if the script is not good, or if it doesn’t work any more because it was written for Michael Douglas and now it’s not that story any more.” So I spent a million dollars of my own money to hire Mark Norman to write that script. We did the best we could under the circumstances. So, was it painful when it all came crashing down? Yes. Did we learn a lot? Yes.” [transcript via SlashFilm]

Hmm, I’m no legal expert, but I don’t think you can force someone to direct a movie. Unless you kidnap his wife like in a Renny Harlin movie. In any case, still no word on whether he also begged not to have to make Die Hard 2, Deep Blue Sea, Driven, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Cleaner, Mindhunters, 12 Rounds... Pretty much everything he directed except Long Kiss Goodnight. The Long Kiss Goodnight is the bomb. And was totally Renny Harlin’s idea, I’m sure.

…Crap, I just alienated everyone who didn’t grow up in the 90s, didn’t I. (*walks away, sheepishly dragging spray-painted overalls while Arrested Development plays*)

Here’s what 5 Days of War looks like, in case you were curious. If I ever see a helicopter attack in real life, I’ll probably think, “Hey, hey, hey, slow down there, cowboy. How come no one’s shredding on the guitar?”

After reading that paragraph before the jump, I just KNOW somebody is wondering what does The Bluth family have to do with the 90’s.

09.15.11 at 11:27 am

Burnsy

I had to read that twice to make sure that you weren’t shitting on Long Kiss Goodnight, or as I call it, maybe the greatest movie ever made.

09.15.11 at 11:38 am

Homo Erectus

The Long Kiss Goodnight is one of the great guilty pleasures of cinema. I’m not supposed to like it, yet…

09.15.11 at 11:46 am

Fek'lhr

Is He the only one that always thought Geena Davis was kinda squirrely lookin’?

09.15.11 at 11:51 am

kazoshay

I remember actually liking Cutthroat Island as a kid. Watched it again recently and yeh, I was a dumb kid….

09.15.11 at 11:52 am

Argentino

He turned that fiasco into someone else´s fault, He´s a real spin doctor.

09.15.11 at 12:12 pm

The Eagle

In addition to The Long Kiss Goodnight, I am pretty sure Die Hard 2 rules. Let’s see, Bruce Willis with hair, a guy gets stabbed in the eye with an icicle, a crazy old janitor that wants to kick ass like Hiroshima, and Dennis Franz. Yeah, Die Hard 2 rules.

09.15.11 at 12:36 pm

Juan Carlo

This guy’s movies suck…..except Deep Blue Sea. That movie is fucking awesome. It starts out as just your generic monster movie, but then it systematically goes through all of the rules of your typical genre, big budget, monster/action movies and breaks every single one of them. So you have (warning spoilers) the film’s biggest star dying like he was some extra, lovable pets dying, the black side kick living, and the female lead dying in a really off hand way in the end.

I really loved that movie.

09.15.11 at 12:36 pm

IAteYourCupcakes

He should get the time machine he used to hire Academy Award winner Marc Norman to rewrite his movie in 1994. Then he could go back and make his movie better. Everybody likes movies about time travel.

09.15.11 at 12:37 pm

Mo Charlo

“I personally spent a million dollars of my own money, I hired Mark Norman, who had won an Oscar for writing Shakespeare in Love.”

I’m guessing most of that million went to time travel, as Shakespeare in Love came out in 1998, and he’s talking about a 1995 movie.

09.15.11 at 12:45 pm

Mo Charlo

@IAteYourCupcakes

I’m going to eat your cupcakes for that.

09.15.11 at 1:02 pm

bulldog

Why does Val Kilmer look like Steven Seagal?!?!?

09.15.11 at 1:05 pm

Martin

I agree with The Eagle. Die Hard 2 was awesome. It was easily the second best of the three Die Hard films.

09.15.11 at 1:33 pm

jonson

Juan Carlo is totally right. Deep Blue Sea is a fucking masterpiece.

09.15.11 at 4:49 pm

The White Beaner

That’s a duck not a dick.

09.16.11 at 3:38 am

jeffmcm

I buy his excuses though. The mistake was signing on a movie with a crappy script in the first place.