If I can read your VIN off your dashboard through my mirrors, you're too close, asshole.

Any remedies for dealing with cagers who apparently have troubles with depth perception?

Last thing I need is some f*ck-d*ck plowing over me in his sh*tty minivan because he was too busy admiring my "where I've been stickers" on my panniers while simultaneously hating his life because he drives a minivan.

Skene Design P3 lights are an excellent option. Obviously, the picture does not do them justice. A feature of the lights, the conspicuity flicker, can be very unpleasant for those who wish to follow too close. I have noticed that vehicles have backed off considerably since installing them. http://www.lights.skenedesign.com/P3_Features.shtml

I just gradually slow down, they eventually move over to the passing lane and pass me. But generally I don't have many tailgating fools on my ass, I'm usually well ahead of the pack or behind; I don't like riding in the middle of the pack, makes me feel unsafe.

A friend of mine had a great idea, albeit, he was in an SUV with a sunroof. He'd flick pennies through the sunroof so they'd plink off the tailgaters windshield. Never failed. Tailgaters had no clue what was hitting them and eventually backed off.

Anyone tailgating a bike deserves a brick through their windshield ... unfortunately that's rather illegal pretty much everywhere.

In the past I've either sped up suddenly and put a couple more cars between myself and them, or slowed down gradually assuming the don't just keep closing and try to mow me down, in which case they're more interested in their GPS display/mobile phone/stereo display/murdering me than driving anyway so it's back to option one. Flashing the brake lights, without actually slowing, usually seems to help but some just can't take a hint.

If I'm uncomfortable, I'll pull over, change lanes, or otherwise get out of the way. If there's room to accelerate a bit I'll do that, but I won't slow down - my first assumption is that anyone riding my butt is either half asleep or not paying attention.

Had a guy behind me the other day, he was talking on his phone and almost hit me as he turned onto the road behind me. I pulled over and let him by,, at the next light he gives me the "what the fuck asshole" look and rolls his window down. "What, did ya think I was gonna hit you? I wasn't gonna hit you" I said "I figured your phone call musta been pretty important to you, so I got out of your way, don't take it personally but I'd like to make it home alive." He then goes on to say "at least I wasn't texting"

I slowed down to 30 but he never passed. I brake checked the guy but apparently he didn't get the hint. I turned around to gesture "back off cock-face" but he doesn't read sign language. He eventually passed me while I nearly topped 70 so I matched him to be a dick and keep him in the opposite lane since I was livid by this point. Once I let him pass, I then proceeded to tailgate him.

This isn't the first time this has happened. I believe most East coast rural cagers are by far the most fucktarded since everyone thinks they're Ricky Bobby.

If I'm in line of traffic then it's not that I'm going too slow, but that one cager somewhere up there is. On eastern roads there can be fewer places to pass. Pulling over may offer temporary relief if one is willing to move to the end of the line repeatedly.

I believe most East coast rural cagers are by far the most fucktarded since everyone thinks they're Ricky Bobby.

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E. coast cagers can be pretty fucktarded.

It looks to me like there are generally 2 varieties of tailgaters: unconcious and impatient.

The unconcious ones may move back with just a signal. putting my left hand down and pushing back is usually clear. Cager may see it as "asking" for room or may see it as an unwelcome order.

Impatient ones just see everyone as being in the way and are more likely to resent my presence on the road no matter what.

There IS a place where tailgaiting can be used to our advantage. That is when approaching a left-hand turn when there are cages in front and cages in back. Let the cage behind get closer then when you turn on your turn signal and brake light they are right there "entrained" or "in step" with your speed and changes in your speed. It eliminates the chance that they'll approach at a closing speed of 50 while you're preparing to turn.