If you hate to read these stories, imagine how much we hate to write them: yet another volley has been tossed in the patent battle between Samsung and Apple. This time it's the Korean manufacturer taking its intellectual property guns out against Apple, claiming that the shiny new iPhone 5 violates eight of its software patents.

We've seen Wirefly Schmackdowns before, but we've never seen one like this. Under normal circumstances, we watch them compare two high-end Android phones. Today, however, they've put mortal enemies in the ring for a fight to the death: the GSIII and the iPhone 5. Oh snap.

They compare the size, weight, display, hardware guts, and software, ultimately calling a winner at the end. Honestly, we're not surprised at how it turns out, but you won't find any spoilers here.

Yes, we're an Android site. Yes, there was an Apple event today. We're gonna talk about it. As the newly-recast Rhodey said in Iron Man 2, "It's me. I'm here. Get used to it." Because the new iPhone raises a lot of questions: Didn't I see an Android phone with [some feature] before? Is the new iPhone really the thinnest smartphone around? Why in the world would apps need to be letterboxed?