This is a discussion on Are you over 21 and still a virgin? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by MarioAndLuigi:4213216
Yes. I just want to get it over with. From what I've seen on different sexual ...

Yes. I just want to get it over with. From what I've seen on different sexual threads on this forum is that INTJ women get asked my non-INTJ men and go through with intercourse because those men are the ones who initiate the coitus. INTJ men tend to be virgins until marriage, especially if progeny is important to you, like it is to me. I have never understood casual sex, but I would try it if a girl was interested in me; I would probably treat it like an experiment. I am not against casual sex; I just have a poor understanding of it. I have no idea how a man goes from the approaching of a girl and takes it all the way to the privacy of the bedroom to the point of being nude with the condoms and all that. Someday, I would like to see a detailed map of steps laid out that elucidates this technique called seduction. No matter how much I search on the internet, I have still not learned all of it, just bits and pieces all over the place.

It is easy to understand how sex works, but it is very difficult to understand how seduction works. Where are all these women I here about who seduce men? I would like to meet one of them.

I am capable of having a socially stimulating conversation with any girl, but the only type of girl I have been sexually interested in would be a more intelligent girl because that is the only type of girl I can imagine a future with. If she is not intelligent or educated, I just feel like there is some substance missing in a potential relationship.

This is basically right on the money. The only reason why I was not older than I was when I lost my virginity is because I was with someone who was confident enough to initiate sex. If I'd had to wait until I initiated it, I might still be. I'm that awkward.

I really relate to what you said about being completely clueless about seduction. When I first had sex with my current, then-virginal, partner, I was still painfully awkward about it all, even though I was more experienced than him and was very titillated by the dynamic. It took me months to learn how to be "sexy" and initiate sex. Even when I decided to seduce him more overtly (with lingerie, candles, the whole nine yards) two years into our relationship, I still dissolved into this shy, painfully awkward mess that I'm still trying to recover from.

As for the bolded bit at the end, that's exactly why both myself and my partner (also INxJ) both have very little romantic/sexual experience. I have more than him for the reason I described above, but I was still a much later bloomer than nearly all of my friends and have far less dating experience than the average girl my age.

Can you make your questions open to both genders next time? There are tons of INTJ females around and on this forum.

I'm not over 21 yet, but I expect to be a virgin for a while yet.

Why do you think that 'being a virgin' means 'did not want to have sex'?

I've just been waiting for the right person, is all. I believe that sex outside of marriage is not a good choice, because the stability of that kind of lifelong commitment, and the emotional security and familiarity and closeness and level of care is something that is very important and needful to me.

Just a personal note, luemb; and please be aware, I intend this to be *complimentary*.

Where are all these women I here about who seduce men? I would like to meet one of them.

FWIW, of my five ex-GFs and a few hookups, I initiated things zero times. Met my last GF on a camping trip, where she followed me away from the group at one point (I just wanted to be by myself for a bit), then gave me her number (without me asking) at the end of the trip. If it wasn't for meeting these women who are willing to chase after a guy, I'd likely be a virgin at 29.

That said, I've met nine women who have chased me in fifteen years since my first GF. They're out there, but there's a LOT of downtime between finding them.

As for the original question, no, not a virgin. Actually lost my virginity fairly early. That being said, meh. Sex is fun, but it isn't something I want badly enough to go after. When it happens, great. Until then, I've got plenty of other stuff to do. Coming up on a year since I last had sex, and probably have another 18 months until the cycle resets if history is any indication.

I am not over 21 yet, I am 20, but I'll probably get to 21 being a virgin, lol.
And while I long for some sort of physical/emotional intimacy, I've never felt that sort of attraction towards anyone, ever. I've never even had a romantic relationship, not only because nobody really interests me, but also because I am terrible at trusting my feelings to other people. Eh.

My INTJ was practically a virgin when we started dating. We're both mid to late 20s. He would say he's clueless about sex, relationships, and emotions. I had to initiate everything at the start and even now he seems pretty clueless. I guess he trusts me enough to hang on, which is good.

He handles my affection pretty well but I'd say sex isn't at the top of his priority list. We do have great chemistry but most times he'd rather just talk to me and cuddle. I love him and so I'm ok with that.

I'm in my thirties, but I was a virgin until I was 27 and got married. I had a very early sex education by my mother and a picture book (3 years). I lost all curiosity about a boy's body, and surfed through the teenage years playing hard to get and winning. I left many blue balls behind me all through college, and laughed. I was a cruel mistress.

I lost my virginity when I was 19 (I am 20 now). I was sick at the time and was fighting a cough/shivers. It was initiated by my girlfriend at the time and I went along with it because I knew she would feel hurt if I said "no". Now that I think back on it...the situation was rather hilarious.