Study: We're Getting Dumber

It's not just your imagination. Humanity is actually slowly losing its mental edge, which accounts for dubstep, if nothing else. According to a new study from Stanford University researcher Dr. Gerald Crabtree, genes thought to determine intelligence are particularly susceptible to mutation. And, since the longer humanity is around, the more mutations their genes are bound to go through, intelligence is not only on the decline—it's going to continue declining for the foreseeable future. Of course, Crabtree did not mention that he is also, presumably, getting dumber, which sort of throws any study he's in charge of into question. But even the most casual browsing of any One Direction fan page seems to affirm his worst suspicions ...