Queen visits Google

Queen Elizabeth II of England, the Commonwealth, Australia and a small island off the coast of Argentina, visited Google's London headquarters yesterday to celebrate the launch of their new browser, Chrome.

On the way into Google's Canary Wharf UK headquarters, the Queen is reported to have asked: "What is the internet?"

It was explained to her that the internet was like a really big library, something the Queen would understand, having seven really big libraries of her own.

After the obligatory introductions, asking everybody what they did, and not understanding a word of the replies, the Queen was shown the internet for the first time in her life. Unfortunately, Chrome crashed and they quickly switched to Internet Explorer 17b. Which also crashed, taking the office block with it.

When everything was back and running, the Queen saw the specially designed logo to commemorate her visit and was reported to have been surprised that a really big library would fit into such a small box and that she had only just got the hang of texting thanks to Wills and Harry.

As a final flourish, the staff at Google searched for the Queen, only to get 300,000 pages about a popular 70s pop band and some men dressed as women. Doing a video search for the Queen (restricted to Buckingham palace) resulted in a performance atop the Pall Mall abode from Brian May. The Google map of Buck Palace was impressive; using the latest image from GeoEye, they saw Wills and Kate Middleton getting jiggy with it in the flowerbeds.

"It was quite embarrassing," Vince Wince, manager, said afterwards, "We couldn't find a single image of her Maj at all. And too many search results came back with trannies to find her. I don't think she's considered her page ranking at all. In the end, Carl Snarl [lead developer] had the bright idea of sticking a stamp on the screen."

The Queen was reported to have enjoyed her visit, especially the free doughnuts.

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