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3/24/2008

An Open Letter To Rashida Jones...

Dear Rashida Jones,

Looking at your trivia section on IMDb, I can see that you are neigh perfect. I mean, you're a Harvard grad. Your dad is Quincy Jones. You have a photographic memory. You sang backup on 3 of the songs from Maroon 5's CD "Songs About Jane". AND you're hot, as People Magazine recognized in 2002 by including you on their list of 50 Most Beautiful People. And all of that before I even mention that you've appeared on Chappelle's Show and The Office.

But something's happened...

I'm not sure if you were challenged to a dare or maybe somebody slipped some stupid juice into your POM tea, but what's the deal with Unhitched? You expect me to believe that you chose to leave The Office for this steamer? You graduated from Harvard! You're supposed to be smart! You left one of the most critically acclaimed and most watched shows on TV for a show produced (read as: let's slap a name on this pile without having to involve them too much) by the Farrelly brothers?

Do you think there's any way Scranton would still take your call?

If you need any help making future decisions about what projects to take, I will gladly offer you my help. After all, I've got some time on my hands right now.

Seriously...

Also, if you and Jim ever stop seeing each other in real life, my friend Alice and I could offer sympathy to each of you. We could grab some coffee or something. It'll be great...