“The piano's world…is a world of pasture and storm, of perfumed smoke, of liquid mathematics.” — Kenneth Miller

Why am I writing this, you ask? A hundred different reasons, most of which come down to wanting to be present in my own life, instead of dashing through it like my hair is on fire.

The short answer: my daughter agreed to teach me piano, and I decided to blog about my process. But “pasture and storm” is a metaphor for life, too, of course… and this blog is about more than just learning an instrument. It’s about learning a new way to live. Hopefully, I’ll inspire a few others along the way.

Learning to play the piano isn’t urgent, it isn’t important, it isn’t benefiting anyone but me. Right?

I don’t believe that anymore.

Here’s the longer answer:

1) I’m not enjoying my life. It’s been a long time since I could relax enough to enjoy the moment. There’s always something that needs taking care of, something that I’m not doing. I need to unlearn this habit. It’s killing me. And it’s seriously annoying my friends and loved ones.

2) I’m stereotypical. I’m following the pattern often followed by people my age: we find ourselves at a crossroads in our lives, looking back on the first 35+ years, wondering what the heck we’ve been doing thus far. We’ve done some vital things, probably; often we’re in the middle of raising children and nursing careers and perhaps aging parents….but we’re overwhelmed by “urgent” problems that leave us sapped and unfulfilled. Time to reclaim passions we let go of along the way. Two of my personal passions: music and writing!

3) I don’t have to become a concert pianist. I’m too old, the pressure’s off. My perfectionism can’t ruin this one for me, because it’s totally for the joy of it. No gold stickers, no applause. (Although hearing my daughter say how great I’m doing warms my heart.)

4) I made a promise to myself that I would start doing what I wanted to do for my firstborn (now grown) but never managed — show her how to live life to the fullest. I don’t want my kids to go through life checking items off to-do lists, collecting gold stars, never able to get lost in a piece of music.

5) You only live once. You don’t know how long you have, but you do know that the time is running out. Tennessee Williams said, “That time is short and it doesn’t return again. It is slipping away while I write this and while you read it, and the monosyllable of the clock is Loss, loss, loss, unless you devote your heart to its opposition.”

But perhaps most importantly….

I can’t save the world by myself. Face it. The world is broken. People are cruel, and greedy. But not everyone, and not all the time. And we all have a part to play to make things better. I believe that living a good life demands three things of us:

Be kind

Strive to live authentically (be true to yourself)

Encourage others to do the same

It’s easy (for me, at least) to stumble around in a fog of unhappiness, feeling powerless to change anything, checking things off lists because it seems like the only control I have. It does nothing but wear me out. It’s hard to be kind when you’re worn out. It’s hard to be encouraging. But striving to live authentically energizes you! We can help each other, IF we begin by helping ourselves.

Learning to play the piano — or anything else — IS urgent, it IS important, it DOES extend beyond the boundaries of the person following their dream.

So while I’m at the piano, while I’m writing about this, screw my to-do list. (“Screw My To-Do List” would be a good subtitle for the blog.) I consider these my first baby steps toward my goal of making the world a better place.

This is where I yell Tawanda! and sit down to play. Join me! We’ll play a duet.