Thursday, January 04, 2007

I watched 'Celebrity Big Brother' again and liked it. Although I'm worrFied about poor Ken Russell.

I think it might be getting better or my taste for low brow is plumbing new depths. It really is just like Channel 4 said, an eclectic mix they have this time.

And Ken Russell (he of 'Lady Chatterley', 'Gothic', 'Tommy' and 'Women in Love' fame), he's 80 this year for god's sake, I think Channel 4 have taken him prisoner. That said Ken looks like he will be value for money, is impression of "mad Pete" was spot on.

No one other than Sunday Mirror journalist Carole Malone (how did they let her in? She seems nice enough, but... she's a journalist, the first, not sure what's with that) and Leo Sayer seemed to know who he was.

Talking of Leo, he clearly is going to be maddest of the bunch. All of that "I'm very funny" and then making noises like a chipmunk is not funny Leo, seek help.

The annoying one of the bunch is clearly the Tower of London's Donny Tourette. Lame band, lame character. All this "fuck you, fuck you all" act is like some poor Johnny Rotten impression. It could be Rory Bremner for all I know.

Who else, well there is the top but wonderfully dim totty in former Miss Great Britain Danielle Lloyd, who seems confused and doesn't know who anyone else is and is missing shopping and boyfriend Terry Sherringham of West Ham. Not even former 'A-Team' man, Dirk Benedict who seemed (unsurprisingly) quite interested in her. There's that woman who used to be on the 'Kenny Everett Show' Cleo Rocos. That's about all there is to say about her...oh she says she wants a husband - good luck with that.

There was Ian 'H' Watkins from Steps, who seemed all right for a camp former cheesy band type. Busy day for him having been outed by the Sun yesterday. Jermaine Jackson was clearly regretting the whole stupid idea and plotting ways to have his agent killed. Oh, there was the Bollywood woman Shilpa Shetty, who like Jackson seemed out of it. They both want their hired help back. Nicest of the bunch seemed like the one who could sing in S-Club, Jo O'Meara. We kind of liked her "I'm just Jo from Romford" schtick.

Plenty of time to enjoy this, Channel 4 is keeping them in for five weeks, it’s going to be a long cold winter.

Anyway, here's the full low down from Channel 4 should you be interested.

Name: Carole MaloneAge: 47Occupation: Journalist Lives: London

Famous for her outspoken views as one of Britain's leading journalists, Carole grew up in a small mining village near Newcastle and knew from an early age that she wanted to be a journalist - causing family friction over her ambitions.

The first tabloid columnist to enter the Big Brother house as a celebrity housemate, Carole writes her weekly column for the Sunday Mirror commenting on stories of the day. Never afraid to speak her mind on headlining topics - ranging from current affairs to celebrities - Carol is not afraid of coming face to face with a celebrity she has criticised.

Carole has been married for 14 years to her Bosnian husband who is eight years younger than her. They met in a bar following a journalists party.

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"Every journalist in the country wants to know more about Big Brother, so this is an absolute story for me and it's a test. I've never had to compromise before and it'll be interesting to see how I'll be in that situation."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best."

Name: Cleo RocosAge: 44Occupation: Actress / WriterLives: London

Cleo is best known for her work with Kenny Everett on his legendary radio and television shows. She became Miss Whiplash of his much-loved BBC1 show in the early 80s. Cleo and Kenny enjoyed a 15-year friendship fuelled by fun and laughter until his tragic death in 1995.

More recently Cleo has performed with Leigh Francis in sketches for his Channel 4 series "Bo In The U.S.A", produced "The Seven Year Itch" in the West End and is currently writing a new comedy series - a stark contrast to her first job as a professional skateboarder.

Cleo was once kidnapped in Buenos Aires and counts Darryl Hannah and Robbie Williams amongst her famous friends. She lives with her mother, loves to eat Mexican salsa for breakfast and has a pet parrot called Max.

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"It (BB) used to scare me a bit, but I've become addicted to it over the past couple of years. It's dangerous and unpredictable and I think I'll have a lot of fun in there. I like throwing all the saucepans in the air."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"Nobody I know would ever think I'd do something like this. I'm not a good sharer, I'll probably be the most neurotically private person in there. But I push myself: I've trained with matadors and I don't think you should play anything too safe."

Danielle is a successful glamour model and was crowned Miss Great Britain in 2006. However, it was reported that Danielle was in a relationship with West Ham footballer and Miss Great Britain judge Teddy Sheringham two months before the contest had started. In addition, Danielle posed topless for Playboy Magazine. Both factored in Danielle being stripped of her title. Still dating Teddy, Danielle knows all the WAGs including fellow scouser Colleen McLoughlin, as they socialise regularly.

Danielle recently competed in Miss World in China in 2005 where she came seventh, she has created her own lingerie range, and posed in various men's magazines. She believes in beauty on the inside as well as the outside saying, "we are all beautiful in our own way".

A keen online poker player, Danielle's ambition is to have her own TV show. She once blagged a first-class flight to Dubai with good friend Sarah Harding. She has trained as a beautician, specialising in massage, and is also a qualified nail technician.

"Teddy probably thinks it's a good idea to get rid of me for a few weeks - stop me going to the shops and spending the money."

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"Probably just for the experience and to let people know what I'm really like, rather than what they've read about me."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I don't know what to expect. I just hope that people are nice in there. I'm quite easygoing, laidback and down to earth."

Name: Dirk BenedictAge: 61Occupation: ActorLives: Montana, USABest known as dashing Templeton 'The Face' Peck in cult action adventure show, The A Team, in the 80's TV series about a group of ex-US Army Special Forces on the run, working as soldiers of fortune.

"I enjoyed The A-Team immensely. By nature I'm terribly serious, so as an actor I tend to want to be silly. It was a comedic show, almost like a cartoon. The actors I worked with, especially Mr T and Dwight Schultz, were very fun people. It was pretty much four years of laughter."

Growing up in the wilds of Montana, Dirk spent his childhood hunting, fishing and playing sports. His father died when he was 18 and as a trainee actor, Dirk started using the stage name 'Benedict' after his agent suggested it, inspired by Dirk's breakfast of choice - Eggs Benedict.

An author of a number of books, Dirk was diagnosed with prostrate cancer in 1981 and claimed to have survived the disease without surgery, through following a macrobiotic diet combined with exercise and fasting. He has three children, is an expert fly fisherman, holds a private pilots license and composes his own music.

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"Two reasons, my teenage sons. They persuaded me to do it. I'm a recluse, I haven't been around people in a while, so they think it'll get me out of my comfort zone."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"Well, this is my coming out party - and probably my 'going back in hiding again' party! I expect 25 days of absolute hell, I can't find one thing that I'll like about it. I don't like celebrities, I don't hang out with actors, I hate being in front of the camera."

Name: Donny Tourette (real name Patrick)Age: 25Occupation: Lead singer of the band 'Towers Of London'. Lives: West London (Originally From Liverpool).

Donny Tourette is the front man of rock/punk band 'Towers Of London' who have supported Guns 'n Roses and Baby Shambles and released their debut album 'Blood Sweat And Towers' in June 2006. The band formed in 1999, when Donny and his brother Dirk, who plays guitar and recruited their fellow band members from school assembly..

Donny's reputation as a rock lothario has made him a regular in the tabloid press in part due to his on-off relationship with Peaches Geldof. Donny wants to "tell the kids who watch Big Brother what a real band is all about". He has a dog called Toto, hates bad manners, idiocy and liars, and says the things that make him happy are "booze, fags and music".

"Our band can be summed in a sentence as punk rock'n roll stars.

"I think we do have a bad reputation. I think as it happens I do seem to land myself in a bit of trouble.

"I've been arrested a few times. I got arrested for criminal damage, they banged me up in a cell.. Think they liked having me in there to be honest."

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I've got f**k-all else to do at the moment".

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I imagine I'll have a good time when I'm in there".

Name: Ian 'H' WatkinsAge: 29Occupation: Singer and actor, currently performing in panto and various West End musicalsLives: London (originally from Rhondda, Wales)

Former Butlins redcoat Ian was christened 'H' when he started out in the band Steps - it stands for hyperactive. After huge success, Steps split in 2001 and he briefly duetted with fellow ex-Steps member Claire. Welsh-born Ian has since returned to college, studying musical theatre at the Royal Academy of Music, and has worked in the West End, starring in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar and 'Buttons' in panto.

Prior to his entrance in the house, the former Steps singer revealed his sexuality and admitted to being 'the only gay in the village', having grown-up in a small Welsh village. He also admitted it is only now that he is truly comfortable with his sexuality that he could be honest with his fans.

Ian says he is happier away from celebrity circuit. "The Met Bar is cack, they're all w**kers. I like normal people. I have normal friends. I like real people and the real world is a much nicer place." Ian loves collecting art, which is his greatest extravagance. The most expensive item of clothing he has ever bought was an YSL jacket for £5,000.

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"Because everyone thinks my surname is 'Steps' - I'd like to come out of the house with people knowing that I'm an individual. I want people to see that I'm a genuine, hardworking guy, not a blonde yellow pedal-pusher wearer anymore."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I just want to have loads of fun and make a few friends! I've got no agenda, I know other people might play a game but I'm just gonna be myself."

Jermaine was co-lead singer of The Jackson 5 with his brother Michael. He began a solo career in the 1970s and enjoyed success from then on with several hits including "Let's Get Serious", "Do What You Do", "Don't Take It Personal". He has an album out this year.

Jermaine is now known as Muhammad Abdul Aziz. He converted to Islam after a visit to Bahrain in the 1980s and prays daily. Jermaine has been married three times and has eight children. One of his former wives, Alejandra, was the ex-wife of his brother Randy.

During Michael's 2005 child abuse trial, he was a staunch supporter of his brother and appeared with him in court on numerous occasions.

The three things that make him happy are waking up, family and sunshine. He dislikes pasta and any kind of alcohol. He is a huge admirer of Nelson Mandela and says his greatest fear is "sharing the toilet".

"2003, my brother (Michael) had a court case, we knew from the beginning he was 1000% innocent. It put our family through a lot. But we were strong case when we came out here we had each other so it gave us a chance to pull us together even closer.

"I have servants here. I do the white glove test and I'm very picky with germs. I won't touch door knobs in public places. I'll wait for people to open or take a tissue.

"The BB house looks very interesting. Do we do the cooking? I'm a very picky eater.

"Michael is going to watch… my whole family will watch online."

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?"Just to have peace and quiet from the industry, and maybe to get over my shyness."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?"Maybe the sun might shine?! It should be very interesting to meet people I've never met before. But the diet thing...I'm a vegan."

Name: Jo O'MearaAge: 27

Occupation: Former Singer in S Cub 7Lives: Romford, Essex

Instantly recognisable as the lead vocalist from pop band S Club 7, Jo first came to the public's attention through the television series that launched the band in 1999 - Miami 7. Living with her fellow band mates Paul, Hannah, John, Bradley, Rachel and Tina, the series charted the group trying to crack America as well as showcasing their music. At one point S Club 7 were on television in 91 different countries. Despite huge hits, including 'S Club Party', 'Reach' and 'Don't Stop Moving', when the band split in 2003, Jo decided to take time out to catch up with friends and family and her hobby of playing the slot machines in her home town of Romford. In 2005, Jo returned to singing briefly but a lack of chart success, with her solo album, sees her spending most of her time breeding dogs. Jo has seven tattoos and her perfect day would be to sleep late and to enjoy a Chinese and a movie.

"It was a love/hate relationship (being in the band) and we were so jetlagged. One morning we woke up thinking we were in Ireland and we were in Taiwan."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I'd just like the public to see me for who I am, behind the person people think I am."What's your greatest fear about joining the Celebrity Big Brother house?"All my fellow housemates hating me! I'm sure they'll nominate me because of my moaning, crying or being a pest."

Name: Ken RussellAge: 79Occupation: Film directorLives: London

The undisputed 'bad boy' of British cinema, Ken Russell's appearance on Celebrity Big Brother fulfils a recent ambition of his. Known for his controversial and sexually ground-breaking films 'Women in Love' and 'The Devils', Ken is a huge fan of Big Brother and watched the summer series avidly and was outraged when Pete was not allowed his letter from home.

Ken lives with his fourth wife who he met via a dating agency using his fame to win her over. He has eight children. The selfconfessed 'grand enfant terrible' of the UK film industry, whose career high point is having three films showing in the West End simultaneously, is in the process of creating a film for YouTube based on Charlotte Bronte meets Big Brother.

Offended by dog poo on pavements, Ken has a phobia of large leaves and is not a fan of George Bush, Tony Blair or weather forecasters for that matter, either. He loves rain, classical music and movies and hates sun, heat and humidity.

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I used to be at a nautical establishment when I was young, which was full of sado-masochists. I've got a hankering for those days which I'm keen to recapture."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"Worse than I can possibly imagine in my wildest dreams - or nightmares! I'm looking forward to meeting Faye Dunaway, we're old friends."

Name: Leo SayerAge: 58Occupation: Pop Singer Lives: Sydney Australia

Equally famed for his curly head of hair, pop singer Leo Sawyer scored number 1 hits around the world with 'When I Need You' in the late 70's and recently hit the top spot again with a remixed version of 'Thunder In My Heart Again' featuring Meck.

Following an early career as an artist and a stint in a car factory, Leo has spent over thirty years in the music industry achieving massive success in the States, Australasia and Europe. Currently living in Sydney with his partner Donna, Leo is heavily into formula 1 motor racing and once drove with Niki Lauda He counts Nigel Mansell and Damon Hill as close friends.

#Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I love being back in the UK and at this point in my life it'll be great for people to get to know a little bit more about me. It's a way of exposing myself (in the nicest possible way!)"

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I've no expectations. I've got an open mind and I live on my wits. It'll be fun and challenging, like being trapped in a lift or being taken hostage."

Name: Shilpa ShettyAge: 31Occupation: Film ActressLives: India

Shilpa is an award winning box office actress in her native India and a household name to Bollywood fans around the world. Having set her sights on an acting career, Shilpa was offered the lead role in her first film "Gaata Rahe Mera Dil" at the tender age of 17. Going from strength to strength she wowed the critics in Phir Milenge playing a HIV positive victim and was awarded the Giant International Award. Shilpa is lauded for having the best body in Bollywood and she is "worried about the lack of gym facilities in the house".

Shilpa sees herself as an ambassador for the Bollywood film industry. She is determined to win Celebrity Big Brother but will have a number of cultural differences to contend with. She is a black belt karate champion and says her ambition is to work with Jackie Chan.

"I've recently been described as the Indian Angelina Jolie., I'm not sure how to take that.

"I honestly truly believe I'm special. It would scare me if people didn't recognise me or didn't want to know more about my life.

"I constantly travel with an entourage and I know I won't have that in the BB house."

Why are you taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"Because it's the first time an Indian artist just as myself has had the opportunity to do this. To clear out the myths and misconceptions of indian people: we are modern, intelligent and glamorous. But mostly so all Indians can feel proud."

What do you think you'll get out of the experience of taking part in Celebrity Big Brother?

"I have zero expectations. The only thing I really hope to keep is my self-respect and my dignity."

Jermaine has caused national controversy by openly praying his obligatory five time prayers live on national TV. However Channel Four the Broadcaster has censored any footage of the Former Jackson Five practicing his faith. Outraged muslims have begun to complain on grounds of fair representation as Shilpa Shetty was broadcast practicing Yoga, they are demanding an explanation from Channel four as to why Jermaine Praying has been censored. Complaints to Ofcom the body that adjudicates media complaints are set to flood in this monday. Jermaine has begun to attract many thousands of muslim votes.