HubPages Top Questions And Answers On Parenting and Family Forum

I have scooped the family and parenting section of HubPages for top controversial topics that got the attention of a tangible number of people, now compiled for references and a learning source to others, just in case you missed the original questions.

Parenting Is A Great Responsibility.What Age/Stage Of Kids Do You Think Is Most Challenging?

Top Answer

Children are like clay! You "mold" them during their "Developmental Years" (Ages 1-6) in order to prepare for the "most challenging," Teenage years! Although parenting is undermined by most, it is one of the most challenging jobs one will ever undertake!

I could expound on this question for hours but if one "molds" their child during "Developmental Years," the "Teenage Years" will be less or maybe not at all challenging!

I know the economy almost, always requires two incomes (if not more), but to miss "molding" your child during "Developmental Years" will cost one more in the long run!

What Is The Best Way To Keep Kids From Joining Gangs?

Top Answer

(1) Give your child individualized attention and care. Children who do not receive individualized parental attention and care will seek it from outside sources and most of those sources aren't going to be positive.

(3) Have intellectual and cultural paraphernalia in the home. Children who have books and other intellectual forms of stimulation in the home environment won't have the time nor the inclination to join gangs.

(4) Stress the importance of education and achievement to the child so he/she is assured of a positive future.

(5) Nurture and cultivate the child's sense of individuality. Children whose individuality are discouraged at home will seek ways to assert his/her individuality and oftentimes this action will be negative.

(6) Before having children, parents should be prepared financially, emotionally, and psychologically as to provide the best environment for their children to flourish in.

(7) Have smaller families(1-4 children). Children in smaller families have the most socioeconomic, intellectual, and cultural opportunities. They also have the most individualized parental attention and care. Children in large families(6-more children per family) don't receive the prerequisite parental attention. They are oftentimes left to fend for themselves which oftentimes result in negative consequences.

Besides Being Driven By Biology, What Else Drives People To Have Children In The 21st Century?

Explanation

It hasn't really been a long time in the history of humankind that we had a CHOICE of having children or not. Consistently RELIABLE birth control has been on the scene for only about 70 years. So it would seem the majority of people who have children, have made a conscious decision to do so. When I was in love when I was young, I remember loving this person so much that there was the intense desire to create something of our own together. I think there are a myriad of other reasons we have children. What are some of our subconscious, unexamined reasons to have children?

Top Answer

My wife and I had been married for a few years; our lives seemed to stabilize professionally and we enjoyed our relationship. Our world was a fine place to be, so we wanted to enlarge it, expand it. I saw in my wife a fine wife and mother, and it seemed a time to celebrate life. My daughter was born, and she's now 29. My son came along almost 5 years later.

Oddly, they arrived to share interesting times of lay-off, struggle, flexibility and reestablishment, but we made the best of it and much of what I consider beautiful in that time was our lives as a family.

For me, my wife and children have been the greatest, most stabilizing factors in my life.

Where Do Your Ancestors Come From? My Mother's Side Is Danish And My Father's Side Mostly Scottish.

Top Answer

Hej, har du nogen danske venner?

Interesting, the number of Americans with Danish (or other western Scandinavian) blood. In eastern and north-eastern England we have what was 'Danelaw' English, a mixture of Anglian and Danish. Much of my Dad's side is from former Danelaw areas as well as 'West Norse' (nowadays Norwegian) from around the Lake District area where the Lancaster family originated. They migrated within England to East Anglia, from where my great-grand dad and his father went (taken on at a hiring fair) to work in the ironstone mines in the Cleveland area of North Yorkshire. My great grand dad married a farmer's daughter from near Stokesley who inherited her dad's farm and got back into farming that way (he and his dad had been farm labourers from near Kings Lynn).

Joseph Balcombe was a Sussex lad from a family of lighthouse keepers near St Leonards. He ran away to join the cavalry, served with the Hussars and rode as part of Queen Victoria's escort. When he left the army he moved to Leeds and married a local lass. More Danish blood (listen to a 'Leeds Loiner' talking, it's close to Danish pronunciation). His elder daughter May Audrey was a district nurse when she met Alfred Stanley Lancaster as his mother's tenant in Church Cottage, West Rounton near Northallerton. They moved around Yorkshire where he was farm manager before the Depression forced him into leaving farming for industry on Teesside.

Dad was in the Royal Engineers (originally in the Green Howards) when he met Ma in Klagenfurt, southern Austria after campaigning from Egypt via Sicily and Italy, chasing the Germans. She was local, with forebears who originated in Saxony, Moravia (now Czech Republic), Slovenia and Hungary.

What a mixture! I feel more at home in Yorkshire though, I just live down here in 'the Smoke'.

Do You Believe That Spanking (Not Beating) A Child Damages Him Or Her Permanently?

Top Answer

Well, according to my adult children who were spanked, they believe I handled the spanking quite well. They believe that they deserved each and every one they got. They believe I did it out of love for them - because my spanking were always preceded with "This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you" and ended with "Do you know why you were spanked?" along with discussion.

I tempered my spankings with love and reasoning and not anger.

I have 5 well adjusted adult children who have children of their own and are awesome parents.

Should Married Couple Continue To Use Condom?

At What Age Should A Child Be Told The Truth About Santa.What Reasons Do You Give For Lying?

Explanation

Every child that believes in Santa is being told a lie. Santa doesn't exist. Yet, parents make up this whole fantasy thing about a jolly old white guy that gives them presents every year if they are "good". Why do you lie to your children this way? and how do you explain to them that Santa doesn't exist? Why don't you just give your children presents and tell the truth about it? There is no reason to make up this whole Santa story. If you want to give your family members a gift, just do it! Why tell them it is from the "North Pole"?

Top Answer

I loved the magic of Christmas as a kid and was never mad that my parents "lied" to me. I really enjoyed the excitement of believing in Santa. I am thankful that they made it such a fun, magical experience for me as a young child. Even now as an adult I love the magic of Christmas and all the cheesy Christmas movies about adults realizing that Santa is actually real.

I think that calling it a "purposeless lie" is awfully cynical, personally, but to each their own. My daughter lights up when she talks about Santa. I will never regret playing along with her, I think it's special and fun.

As for when you should tell them, I think once they're old enough to seriously question it and explicitly ask for the truth. I also don't use it as a motivation for being good. I keep Santa and discipline separate. I think it kind of taints the light-hearted, feel-goodness of the whole thing.

Would You Allow A Sleepover For Your Older Teenaged Children If They Were In A Serious Relationship?

Top Answer

No!

I'm not running a hotel and if I had children my responsibility is to look out for them and not win brownie points for being their friend.

The primary focus of high school years is to get an education to prepare for college or some skilled training in a tech school.

Teenage love for the most part is nothing more than an evolution of romantic experience in conjunction with raging hormones.

The truth of the matter when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people meet their "soul-mate" at age 16, 17, or 18. If this were not the case we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!

In ten years most teens look back on their high school years with laughter at the beliefs they had while being immature and naive.

Even parents who have discussions with their teens about sex, birth control, and safe sex deep down really hope they're not doing it!

In fact it's mutual for the most part that neither the teens or the parents want to imagine either of them having sex! :)

When I was growing up, adults and teens had sex in secret.

Parents took advantage of an empty house when kids were away or wee hours of the morning when they knew they were asleep. Teens on the other hand went to the drive-in or some secluded spot and had sex in the back seat of a car. In other instances they skipped school and went to someone's house where both parents were at work.

Up To How Many Years Do You Think Parents Are Responsible For Children's Misbehavior And Bad Deeds?

Top Answer

I think the legal age is eighteen. But why don't you shift it a little? Why not say responsible for inspiring them to become better, more wholesome human beings?

Are parents responsible for their children's misbehaviour and bad deeds? It is highly possible that some are, in so far as they teach it to them. It is a very difficult area to cover, as the influence can be so varied: school, environment, friends ...

So if you make it being responsible for their good behaviour and good deeds, then it reads with more love. Ultimately, there can be other forces at play, both for the child and parent: Income, poverty,, health, single parent, karma ... and I do not know of an easy answer.

Strive to be an example to inspire without forcing, clinging, grasping ... and leave all else in the hands of the Supreme.

I feel that eighteen is a good age. I believe it is also the legal age in England. Not so long ago, it used to be 21. Much Love.

If you are able to convince a woman on something, she is most likely going to believe you and continue doing it that way for years but on the other hand, men are likely going to find new ways of doing things within a short time due to curiosity nature of most men.

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