Wednesday, October 31, 2007

i apologize for how late this is. Also, I'm not going to be able to do a kid nation recap before the next episode airs (i haven't even seen last week's ep yet), so let's just cut our losses and move on. a girl's gotta pay her rent.

so, i effin did it again. i took heather off my team last week because she wasn't getting me any points and of course here's the week she finally gets pointage. whatever, i really screwed up with my fantasy top model. nothing i can do now that i'm 1338th place. :(

tyson beckford comes to the house and i shit a brick. never have i wanted to be a 9th rate contestant on a televised modeling show more. he talks to them about something to do with spokesmodeling, but i'm too busy thinking about his arms. and his face. that chest....oh sorry. (also notable...he's wearing jeans and a black tank top.. [those arms...] tyra would be pleased) then tyson eats ambreal's mango (an actual mango), skin and all. i've loved this man for a long time, so i'm gonna let that slide. the girls have to split into groups of three and do a 30 second psa for Keep A Child Alive. ambreal, heather, and jenah win. points disappear before my eyes again. some lady picks one name at random to do a shoot with mary j. blige. the other two get gift baskets (aka the shaft). heather's name is drawn and she does a pretty good job at the shoot and looks beautiful. team heather! also they put loads of tanner on her.

during an impromptu sleepover, ebony voices that she wants to go home. other girls are shocked.

photo shoot - recyclable materials.

HEATHER - aluminum cans - heather takes a straight on photo and it works. see, she had nothing to worry about. got you again, asperger's. CHANTAL - paper. the judges are split.SARAH - garbage bags. judges think she's losing weight even though she says she isn't. if she gets booted for this, i'm gonna be pissed. a couple weeks ago, tyra said something like 'usually, people tell you to lose weight, but not us.' and it's like, get off your flippin high horse tyra, the only reason you're telling her not to lose weight is because you don't think she can cut it as a "real model". so just shut up. SALEISHA - car parts - looks so rihanna. if you look past her bad hair. that hair that could work as an umbrella. ella. ella. ee. ee. ee.EBONY - bubble wrap - the judges think she has an attitude problem despite some good pics (not this week's though). i guess that weave made her a little too naomi. JENAH - cardboard - i give jenah a hard time for that ratty hair and those front teeth, but she always turns out a stunning photo. BIANCA - oil - looks a lot like lil eva pigford in her pic. do i sense a parallel character arc?LISA - plastic bottles - judges think she's being too safe with her risk taking. whaaa?AMBREAL - newspaper. sucks. everyone thinks so! (wait, who are we talking about?)

ebony confessionalizes that she doesn't like the criticism of photo shoots and panel, so she's hoping tyra will send her home. geez, i wonder where this is going.

saleisha is called first. others follow until ebony and ambreal are left. the last photo in tyra's hand is ebony, so technically i was right in calling ambreal's booting last week. however, ebony speaks up and says she doesn't want to be there. so, tyra says something to make it look like she was the one doing the dumping and not ebony, and then basically says 'shove off, puta'. it kind of pisses me off that tyra's all 'talk to mama' about it and then berates her. what a bitch. poor ambreal is just standing there (all invisible) like 'what does this mean for me?'. after tyra's done spitting ebony out, and after she's basically told ambreal that she sucks, she tries to make a quick recovery and be all 'fate is smiling on you! you have another chance!' about it. she'll go next week.

you know what? i'm not done with this...because ebony basically figured out that she didn't want to be a model. which is totally valid. she didn't suck, it just didn't make her happy. she thought she wanted it, but going through the process made her aware that she didn't. so good for her for leaving and knowing that it wasn't for her. fuck tyra for not being able to look past her pride and realize that it was better that ebony came to this realization and stuck with what she wanted instead of staying for camera time or some other lameoid reason and taking someone else's spot who actually wanted it.

Friday, October 26, 2007

does everyone remember the photoshoot last cycle on top model wherein each contestant had to shoot four pics representing four different characteristics presented on a one sheet? well, ready your "oh no she di-int" face and hear this...i was walking down the streets of manhattan today and i saw a couple posters for tyra's daytime talk show. this ad was made in the exact same vein of that photoshoot. four tyras, four different expressions, four words summing up "characteristics". i was in a bit of a rush, so i didn't get to see all four words she chose, but the two i saw were enough ty-ty for me: Glamunicator and Gabologist. ready?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

so, listen...i rely a lot on the comments left (or not left) for all my reality corner shows because it gives me a feel of who (if anyone) is reading or relying on posts about specific shows. i know for sure that the top model recaps don't fall on deaf eyes, but when it comes to the kid nation recap, the only people that i think are enthusiastic about reading them are my dear partner in crime, Becca, and my dear brother. and ricky doesn't even watch the show! so, due to my recent busy schedule, i'm going to introduce a new format for the Kid Nation recaps (and any subsequent shows that don't seem to need such a thorough walkthrough) called Oh Shit! Recaps. Let's begin.

Oh shit! Yellow team is bratty!Oh shit! Apparently blue team hates their leader!Oh shit! Reelections!Oh shit! Green team, a team Laurel put together by handpicking kids that exhibited leadership skills and ability, decide they love Laurel as their leader. i would've bet money that laurel would've been the only council member running unopposed. and i would've won that bet. Oh shit! Olivia's a bitch!Oh shit! No Taylor di-int!Oh shit! Yellow is upper class (thanks to zach)! and green is finally in the top 2 districts! (for the record, red are cooks and blue are laborers. haha!)Oh shit! the council chooses toothbrushes over a barbeque party! you're telling me these kids haven't been brushing their teeth? were they told not to bring toothbrushes? cuz that's fucked up. Oh shit! I don't know who this Markelle (red) character is, but methinks he's awesome. he made one of taylor's cronies (the one with the perma-baby face, but not in a cute way [Laila]) flip her shit when he ripped down a vote for taylor poster that laila made. like "no wire hangers!!!" shit flipping. bitch crazy. Oh shit! greg has a soft side and its adorable! look at him nurturing the psychopathic child of the corn [Laila].oh shit! greg finally got his gold star! now he can go to college!oh shit! anjay keeps his seat! guylan replaces mike! (nice! the only vote mike got was the one he cast for himself...Bonanza City: 3, Mike's ego: 0) Zach takes taylor's seat! (randi should get the gold star for going against the gaggle of yellow females and casting her vote for zach...securing his win)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Hello friends -- I apologize for my recent posts being so tv heavy....we all know i have an unhealthy relationship with the idiotbox, but i've been working a lot recently, so its really the only other thing going on in my life right now. I'll try to be more three dimensional in the future. However, we are currently in the present (or actually this would be in the past...awww i'm confusing myself) so let's discuss what tv shows we're all still sticking with.

There are two shows that I ditched without even watching. I had planned on seeing them, but my dvr, fat with 50 shows, was too intimidating for me to think about adding more shows that i wasn't very excited about. Those shows are Moonlight and Fox's Idol-spinoffish thing, The Next Great American Band. Sorry guys.

So you know how I have that rule where I give a show two to three episodes before deciding what to do with it? There was one show that was so absolutely horrific that I couldn't even make it past half an ep, and that show was Carpoolers. It made me sad that so many people saw this piece of crap and still let it go on the air. Really really very sad. The two shows I gave a fair two episode chance to were Chuck and Cane. Chuck really thinks its the shit...like really cute really funny shit. i agree with one of those words. And Cane was a good enough show, but i had to ask myself this: "if i turn off the show right now, will i wonder what happens to any of the characters?" the answer was no, so it got my axe.

If we want to talk real axes, Viva Laughlin is the first big cancel of the season, getting the bad news the day after its second episode aired (which was just three days after the first episode aired). I have both eps sitting on my dvr, and I thought about just erasing them, but I feel like if it was a victim of that quick of an axe drop, it must be TERRIBLE...and those shows can be kind of fun if you're, like, drunk. (for those who care, Nashville was also cancelled, but I had no idea it was even on)

The fantastic news is that Gossip Girl has been picked up for a full season. YES!!! Guiltiest pleasure evar!!! Private Practice was also picked up, so i suppose i'll continue watching it for now... And finally, I'd like to end with a plea. Guys, watch Samantha Who. I had no idea what a great comedic talent christina applegate was...but in addition to that, this show has me LOL-ing for real. Like, rewind and watch that scene again so i can laugh harder LOL-ing. I feel like there were general low expectations for it (hell, i wasn't expecting much) and that makes me nervous that it won't get watched...so i encourage you all to take a gander (it's on monday nights at 9:30 i believe..or maybe 9. eastern) because it is truly hilarious.

So what shows have you all decided to stick with or drop? Let a sister know in the comments.

previously: victoria went back to yale. i don't know if you've heard, but she's a student at yale.

man oh man did i fuck up by switching my team last week. lisa got a bajillion points and i had already dumped her. damn my luck! now i'm in like, a thousandth place. great.

we get a segment on how "annoying" it is that janet has taken it upon herself to be "house mom" and make a chore list. oh yeah, it's so annoying to not want to live in a sty. then we see heather talking about the different ways she thinks each girl can improve and i think it's meant to be seen as heather being gossipy, but i really just think she was asked a question and answered it honestly. and i think that's obvious when bianca asks her to say what is wrong with her own self, and she gives a real answer.

ambreal tells us she's a musical theater major and things in my head fall into place. she also says that she's confident. words of death. i hate lisa's hair. i'm putting her back on my team though.

fucking benny ninja is back again. ugh! and then there's obvi VOing where he's all "i hope you remember me from the Old Navy challenge". oh the one that was like, 5 days ago? yeah, benny, everyone remembers. he's here to help with posing whilst in the air. there are trampolines and girls falling everywhere. poor heather is at the height of her awkwardness here (literally!). we hear ambreal say she thinks she has an edge over the other girls. strike 2.

some girls streak through the house as janet practices her walk and says she feels more mature than the rest of the girls. uh oh.

this weeks' challenge - posing while doing ice skating lifts. haha! hilarious! benny starts to introduce our special guest ice skating celebrity and i cross my fingers hard for nancy kerrigan or tonya harding. naive of me to assume it'd be a lady...we're talking about top model here. lloyd eisler is the guest. benny will shout an emotion at each girl, which they must convey in ice skating pose form. ambreal says she has this in the bag. strike 3 young lady, to the bottom two with you. the EIC of seventeen and cycle 6's Danielle (!) come out to guest judge and Dani has virtually no accent these days. they all pretty much suck here (remember what i said about the heather reaching the height of her awkwardness on the trampolines? that was wrong, she hits it here) but lisa sucks the least (not if you ask all the other girls. oh snap!) and wins the challenge. i see my points disappear before my eyes. she chooses to share the prize with ebony and janet. together, they will shoot an ad in seventeen with dani.

photo shoot: fashion gargoyles. ambreal freaks because of her fear of heights. curiously, lisa's fear of heights is not mentioned. i had high hopes for the potential creativity of this shoot...but honestly, i don't know what's gargoyle about it. HEATHER: i think she does the best gargoyle posing...but the judges complain that all of her work is in profiles. they'd like her to switch it up. JENAH: looks like gwen stefaniSARAH: gets shafted in the shoulder wrap department. the one she gets stuck with is decidedly un-gargoyle. not great posing work, either.JANET: is too preoccupied with her underwears. requires too much direction. SALEISHA: tyra feels her wake up call worked. CHANTAL: gets praise. BIANCA: does great this week (called second.)LISA: nails the shoot. is sad that everyone hates her. jealous bitches.AMBREAL: overcomes her fear to do the shoot. problem is, she doesn't do it well. EBONY: needs to work on personality, but her shoots are getting better and better. there's an awesome moment where tyra outs her for never smiling.

Panel: Lisa is summoned first. janet and ambreal are bottom 2. janet needs too much coaching, and ambreal is getting worse. without explaining why they would boot someone who can be good but needs so much direction over someone who is GETTING WORSE, they send janet home. ambreal will go next week, i'm sure.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

i know this movie came out a while ago, but i just watched it on dvd. i'm not quite sure what i expected from a movie about women who's sole purpose in life was to please men and be eye candy, but i still found memoirs of a geisha to be pretty damn shallow.

when doing my web research for a picture that i ended up not being able to upload because blogger is having issues - i found the following amazing tidbit in this article.it's about gwenstefani and her harajuku girls -"Stefani infamously requested that reporters not ask about the Harajuku Girls, explaining that she regards her companions as figments of her imagination."

i thought it was hilarious, but perhaps i'm the only person on earth who didn't know that the four japanese women who trail gwenstefani everywhere are just her version of drop dead fred.

Monday, October 15, 2007

There are loads of things i have questions about...and while i can usually find the answers after some extensive google research, sometimes i'm too lazy. or sometimes i want to see what real people think. and sometimes i just can't come up with the right word combo for a search engine. Here is today's question: what the hell happened to full opening credits?? I love a good credit sequence as much as the next guy (that loves credit sequences)...if it's a really good one, I can't even bring myself to fast forward through it. The top model opening is a guilty pleasure, the Deadwood opening is one of my all time favorites, and there's just something about the cold case theme. but i'm watching all these new shows and they're just offering me TITLE CARDS? what the eff man? I thought maybe it was just something they did with pilots or until they knew their shows would be around for a while. i've noticed though, that desperate housewives doesn't use their opening anymore, opting for that pic of the housewives with apples and 'created by marc cherry' as the only representation. Is this following the footsteps of Lost and Heroes? because really I need something more than just a title flash. Really good credit sequences add so much to the anticipation of the show, i think. The sequences for each season of the wire always deliver, keeping the song the same but covered by a different artist each year (come to think of it, HBO always has good openings). But i'm watching all these new shows, waiting for them to blow me away with awesome credits and they just tell me what the hell i'm watching. I know what i'm watching, i want to know who i'm watching-- names of the actors accompanied by sassy/funny/bad ass clips of that person. too much to ask?

Also something interesting...I just lifted up my keyboard wrist pad to place it in a more ideal location and under it I discovered a land of lost eyelashes. Why do they all travel to the same place? is it seen as cool, gelly, lash-refuge? do i lose a lot of eyelashes when i type?

Ugh. We come in on morgan and sophia talking about religion, and man, i love sophia more and more each week. Morgan is searching for a purpose (if i wasn't meant to win last week's gold star, then what am i here for?) and sophia doesn't believe in God these days. then we see jared telling some kid about some anti-semite that would tease him all the time. surprisingly (not really) today's journal pushes the town to organize religiously...and..that's a little too far i think. the kids are never just gonna consider what the journal says, they're always gonna act on it. religion is a touchy subject as it is, but to have 39 kids who probably don't really understand their own religions (other than what they know from their parents) try to figure out a way to understand religions different from theirs is a lot to ask. i have a feeling that most of these kids just go through the motions anyway. if anything comes out of this whole thing, i'm calling producer tampering.

the council proposes having one service where everyone can come and say a little bit about their religions. much of the town hates the thought of any service (sophia) and some oppose the mixing of religions into one service (olivia). the council doesn't like to listen to the town's opinions though, so they put their collective foot down and announce that the first service will be later that day. power hungry council! cute lil one-toothed-dark-glasses alex (9--who i have mentioned maybe once but has been quite adorably present from the start) takes it upon himself to survey the town to find out religious statistics.

the town refuses to gather when the council calls them for service. they can't get over how 'narrow-minded' these kids are. well, for one thing, town council, you didn't listen to them when they said they didn't want it, and now they're showing you. and for another thing, i think the council was viewing this more as a "lets learn about each other's religions" as opposed to the town seeing it as their regular service. one girl says she doesn't want to be in service with atheist people. Haha. They don't want to be there either. Many fear impending conflict. The Morganizer puts together an optional late nite last minute prayer circle. Ah, she must've seen that her purpose was to vie for this week's gold star.

SHOWDOWN: the teams must put together a large puzzle of a steeple and then raise it upright with a pulley within 30 minutes. i bet greg's spent some time building churches. it again comes between red and blue for the top, yellow and green for the bottom. blue reclaims upper class, followed by red, yellow back in the kitchen (which no one wants) and poor fucking green scrubbing toilets again. the town reward is either a mini golf course or a library of religious books. they're gonna choose the mini golf, right? No! Can you believe this? the council makes the town decide (laurel needs chapstick) and they choose the holy books. yeah right! those kids have been guilted good. must be a lot of catholics. and THEN, they all go read those books. yeah, right. i'd love to see what happens when the journals about abortion and same sex marriage come in.

little homesick cody (9) reads a letter from his girlfriend (who he's liked since the third grade, which is maybe like 1 year then?) and is all cryface about it. then he says that he just wants to drink a rootbeer and get his mind off it. it's just SODA! where do these kids get these ideas?

taylor does not hold good to her promises and refuses still to work. zach goes on a mission seeking help with the dishes and stupid red leader Mike is all "i was gonna wash my hair" about it. he's no better than taylor. zach collects people from a mixture of districts to chip in and help with the dishes. if only he could get his own district to do their damn job. looks like morgan is gonna have some gold star competition. the morganizer annoys me, so i'd be happy to see that post-losing smile fade once again.

town hall meeting -- everyone disapproves of taylor. she ain't changing. deal with it! :) cody misses his family and his ho, so he opts to leave. his one friend (campbell) cries about it and they practically make out when he leaves. poor campbell. the gold star goes to morgan. ugh. she tries to act all humble like she wasn't expecting it. whatevs. poor greg. he's so misunderstood. we are left with campbell doing shots of rootbeer, mourning the exit of his best bud.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Boy oh boy! Previously: Kimberly was sent to continue on her journey to find Nicodemus.

Victoria talks about how she came in as a joke and now, her nerdly instincts to succeed are making her want it fo' real. i smell bottom two! Saleisha says "i'm never gonna be in the bottom two." We now have our bottom two. (Don't these bitches know to watch their confidence?)

Ken Paves Salon - makeovers. Sigh. some of these could've gone so much better. Tyra shows the girls what they'll look like post makeover with her magical digital composite screen. that it looks like they spent about $2.50 on. Ambreal will be getting a shorter do, Bianca will be given Beyoncé locks, prompting me to dub her Beyancá. Sarah and lisa are both getting Ken Paves' actual hairdo. Victoria, as a friend said, looks like they're just gonna comb her hair. chantal gets a longer weave and straight bangs, jenah is going long and blond. janet will get a trim and some black dye, ebony will get a better weave a la naomi campbell, saleisha gets promised a rhianna-ish bob, and heather gets virtually no change. i'm sure that has nothing to do with people with asperger's being averse to drastic change.

sarah looks GREAT! Victoria is an improvement...anything would've been. heather looks the same. janet looks better definitely, ambreal's cut works well and makes her a little more noticeable. jenah. looks. TERRIBLE!!. lisa looks a little weird, but i'm sure it'll look cool straightened. ebony also turns out well. bianca gets her head shaved since her hair is in such bad shape and cries about it but isn't whiny. jay proposes using paves wigs on shoots, but honestly i think the shaved head looks great on bianca. now that tyra's shaved her head, she's put her in her place. begin redemption arc! chantal has gotten annoying with this weave. and saleisha. oh god. why oh why. they did not have flawless execution here. saleisha looks like a thirteen year old japanese schoolgirl.

challenge: our twice yearly covergirl makeup challenge. they must put on dramatic eye/natural lip makeup, put on an outfit, and march down the runway within five minutes. winner gets to do some covergirl shit. sarah wins!!! hooray! god jenah looks bad.

this week's photoshoot -- girls as flowers and plant life. BIANCA, SUNFLOWER - not her best work, but she's getting used to the hair...she just needs to 'own it' now. JANET, HYDRANGEA - gets compared to liza minnelli and..yeah! she does. is told that she has improved, but needs to be less pose-y. (no flower pun intended)HEATHER, WEED - i wish they'd dressed her up like a marijuana leaf. she's made up like an orc, but it's a great pic.LISA, BAMBOO - strong face, but she needs to give moreSALEISHA, TULIP - man they really are knocking saleisha down a few notches this week. SARAH, IVY - judges love her photo, but they're nervous that she's losing weight. AMBREAL, ROSE - hair is an improvement but she's still kinda eh.VICTORIA, CACTUS - she's too focused on the nerd thing. we're done. twiggy HATES her because she's always picking fights and talking back. JENAH, MOSS - the judges love all over jenah. i still say she looks bad. EBONY, BIRD OF PARADISE - her film blew away the judges, but not her personalityCHANTAL, BABY'S BREATH - i'm over chantal.

victoria talks about how ridiculous this all is. she also thinks about how this has been everyone else's dream for their whole lives and it's only been hers since she tried out for the show as a joke and tyra was feeling quirky so she let her through to the top 13. yeah, she's definitely going home this week. tyra don't stand for girls who wouldn't kill for this shit.

elimination: jenah again is called first. everyone else follows until we are left with victoria and saleisha. but the twigster hates victoria and you don't fuck with twiggles...and saleisha just needed to be humbled, so V gets sent home. determined to remain the weirdo, she immediately removes her shoes. good riddance Geektoria.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

i'm not sure how to classify this post - so i am creating a new cooler than stupid category called the public peeing spotlight!

welcome to the first installment of the public peeing spotlight!

the star of todays spotlight is a man i passed yesterday it who was peeing all over a police car.

it was broad daylight on a pretty populated street and i heard the sound of water flowing...it sounded distinctly of water flowing, but i thought nahhh, couldn't be! but there he was - taking a wiz (how the hell do you spell wiz?) all over a cop car.

if i were a malicious cop car peer (which i am most definitely not!) i think i would pee on the handle on the door....

Again with the epic previouslys. CBS, we've been watching the show...this isn't necessary.

We enter on the kids going crazy on a sugar binge. there's rootbeer and screaming. and the kids are drinking what appears to be boilermakers...where'd they learn that? seriously, though, these kids are out of control. i'm surprised none of them went into a diabetic coma.

coincidentally, after a night of partying til 3 am, the town council reads the journal entry that encourages them to instill a curfew. meanwhile, greg is making quite the effort in trying to awaken the town. they're all acting like they're hungover. oh, kids! one of the girls whines about how greg dragging their sleeping bags (with them in it) into the center of town was way not cool and physically hurt. he calls her a bitch. Laurel reprimands him, saying that they used to respect him and thought he deserved the gold star. past tense. ouch. greg gets all teenage boy and tries to pick a fight with some guy, and his BFF blaine has to pull him off. greg curses at everyone from the window of his bunk.

the town council sets a 9:30 curfew. as in most town meetings, there is general uproar. the older kids of course want a later curfew. colton from the yellow team shuts them up in a manly way. Later, he and his boyz go hiking. they find cows and decide to scare them. the bull stays put and colton has a stand off with him. his friends urge him to back off and get nervous, but damn if colton didn't scare that bull off.

mallory (8) quite adorably tries to clean up the mess from yellow's flour war. with a rake! taylor's district produces a terrible meal and calls it brunch because they're too lazy to start early and don't want to be bothered to make an extra meal. i'm quickly learning that taylor's catchphrase is "deal with it!" it's no "don't threaten me with a good time" though. everyone wants yellow out of the kitchen.

district showdown. it's a complicated plotline, this showdown. basically, the council members are "sheriffs" and will be standing on a podium with wanted posters, shouting out the names of outlaw sheep. all sheep have names painted on them and district-colored playing cards around their necks, with the wanted sheep sporting the ace. each team must catch all three of their outlaws aces in 5 minutes. why do all the kids have bloody lips? guess what? greg has raised sheep before! colton makes quite the show catching aces for yellow. all three of them as a matter of fact. yellow, now as upper class, can do what they do best - nothing. blue comes in second, green FINALLY gets out of the labor class and sophia comes all over the place thinking of getting back to her kitchen officially. red finish with five seconds remaining. the town reward option is either a "frontier microwave" and barrel of cocoa, or 40 pizzas. council meets, taylor wisely points out its between what they want and need. mike always seems to want the want prize. he says it will ruin the town if they don't choose pizza. diva. the council chooses the micro. uproar. mike shows poor form in joining the yelling about not getting pizza and not supporting his council's vote. taylor is "deal with it!"-ing all over the place.

this week, the gold star is between some girl morgan and greg, until olivia nominates her cutey sis, Mallory. she may be small, but she does her part and is way mature. the ceremony would be on mallory's birthday. well played olivia.

at the town meeting, there is an attack on taylor. she gets called out for not doing work whether or not yellow has a job and they tell her they hate her catchphrase. she gets all cry face. sophia takes over jonathan's role at the meeting and there is near mutiny as the town calls for yellow leader reelection. taylor cries more. the town picks on her. then they realize that they, as a group, made an 11 year old girl cry. things get awkward. taylor promises to improve. The council awards the star to mallory. happy birthday! greg, again, is disgruntled.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

so, bianca is a bitch. we knew this because she told us, but she told us that she was a fun bitch and not a mean bitch. that makes her a lying bitch. she helps kimberly with her walk, but confides in the viewing audience that she's purposefully giving kimberly bad advice. strategic, i guess. it's also at this point, two minutes in, where i proclaimed to a room of 7 witnesses my guess that kimberly would be going home. i should liveblog this shit. i'm much better at guessing on the fly.

the girls go to this cheesy fashion madhouse and get all pretend scared. miss jay shows up with 12 straitjackets and the girls must put their heels and crazy jackets on and practice walking whilst restricted.

at the house, bianca gets tired of hearing saleisha yap with tzone confidence about all of her modeling experience, so she calls s borderline plus size. sarah probably thinks 'gulp'. bianca and saleisha start yelling at each other and ebony's all "remember when i was supposed to be the bitch?" Bianca makes threats about hurting her competitors and cutting clothes up. just keep your panty juice to yourself, PLEASE.

that guy from the church fashion shows that i hate comes back and refers to last cycle's high school runway challenge as the "infamous prom fashion show". slow down there, roy. he introduces the challenge, which is a couture runway show for colleen quen, known for restrictive gowns. the winner gets to walk in colleen's paris debut. every time ambreal comes onscreen, i'm like 'who's that?'. saleisha wins the challenge. 6 points!

HEATHER- produces a great photo. but between heather pronouncing her syndrome "Ahhs-bergers" and tyra pronouncing it "ass-perjurs", there might be a lot of confusion around here. for the record -- ass-pergers. and yes, heather pronounces her own affliction weirdly. or like a snooty debutante. she likes to class things up. JANET- does well but needs more consistencyEBONY- lacks confidence this week, but her picture gets good marks. KIMBERLY- sucks. when i look at her, i think of the secret of nimh. or Witches. when they're in transition, turning into rats. CHANTAL- i think i might love her and her wonky eye. dye her hair dark and we'll see where we're at.SARAH- i really like sarah.LISA- great picture. she's better with her body right now. because of the stripper thing i'm sure. SALEISHA- i like her a lot, but i'm nervous about what a frontrunner (and bragger) she is...then again, jaslene had a similar arc-- started strong, floundered for a while, then won. BIANCA- they hate her photo. awkward silence hate. except tyra. VICTORIA- is such a weirdo. her and her trippin sea nymphs. but she can take a good pic and wears makeup well. AMBREAL- ???JENAH- great picture. another girl i like..though when she bares her teeth i get scawwed.

Jenah is called first this week. then everyone else until we're down to bianca and kimberly. we still need bianca for the drama though, and kimberly is useless, so kimberly goes home. later sucka! guess heather can't cling to you now! zing!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

I wonder if any parent will use this show as punishment for their brats? "If you don't clean your room RIGHT NOW, i'll send you to KID NATION!!" After about a half-hour of previouslys...which, if you saw the show and read/wrote my recap, were completely unnecessary...we get started with some chickens. 18 to be exact. some kid flips out about how he's never felt a warm egg. i have. in my mouth. we meet emilie (9) who may or may not be important but she says she breaks wild mustangs (resist...fat...joke..) so i'm gonna go ahead and remember her name. i effing love how matter of fact laurel is with her accent. the town council reads the old journal, which talks about wanting fresh meat, and encourages the kids to consider killing the chickens. as if this weren't awesome enough, the footage of the town council reading is intercut with footage of the town lovin all over the chickens and exclaiming how soft they are. the town council takes the idea back to the rest and there is general uproar. i am enjoying how all these kids know that they need protein. emilie is quite upset. greg the 15 year old talks about how he's butchered all sorts of creatures. watch out for this kid. i hope they don't kill them all at once...they're talkin like they want to. a vote is taken and the protein lovers win. young emilie approaches town council and assures them that she will leave if they kill a chicken. and, judging by the looks of her, i'm sure she'll go home and enjoy the chicken someone else has killed for her. she stages a sit-in with a handful of others to protest the killing. i knew this bitch would be trouble. one girls asks if the chicken will be killed like saddam hussein was. i find this weird. here's something else -- diva that she can be, i love taylor. she takes control of the protesters and they strike a deal to only kill 2 chickens, with no requirement to perform or witness the killing. not only does taylor get emilie to accept the killing, but she gets the whole group of rioters to cheer for their upcoming poultry feast. greg does the dirty work. of course. he also educates the group (minus emilie, who fled after the first killing) on how to pluck the chicken. apparently, sophia's back in the kitchen because she takes charge of cooking.

zach (10) is pissed at his leader, taylor, for encouraging their district to shirk their responsibilities. she refuses to do dishes, and on cold mornings, refuses to get out of bed. the green team is pissed that they are doing yellow's job for them. there's a mini water crisis and michael is again noted for his helpfulness in this situation.

this week's double dare showdown is...kind of difficult. they have to connect piping from a pump to a waterwheel, through outhouses, etc...while water is running...in under an hour. during the challenge, we find out that greg has done a lot of PVC work and knows how to connect a sprinkler system. who is this kid? blue wins upper class, red are merchants, yellow again are cooks and green again laborers. It comes down to the final seconds for green to get in under an hour...and they do not do it in time, just barely missing out. the prizes they lose for the town were either a 45 foot heated water slide (weird) or several more water pumps around town that are freeze resistant. how sad.

emilie starts again with the chickens, locking herself in the coop. she's kind of a tool. she gets kicked out and considers leaving bonanza. the town council discuss who gets the gold star. taylor and anjay think greg should get it, laurel and mike think it should be michael. greg killed, cleaned and cut the chickens, helps with the chores even though he's upper class, and is an all around superman. michael is good at motivational speeches and getting the water pump to unfreeze. i love michael and all, but that water pump is kind of his job. mike thinks greg is only helpful because he wants the gold star. which--duh. that's the point. they should all be fighting for that star. mike just hates greg. and maybe feels bad that he didn't do shit when he was upper class.

town council meeting -- everyone's mad at taylor and yellow for not doing their job well. nobody decides to leave. the council awards the star to michael. greg really should've gotten it. he thinks so too, and he's pissed.