INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT - DAYDave wakes up around noon. He GROANS and sits up. He is still wearing the same clothes from last night except he now also sports a very frilly (and slutty) bra around his neck. Toynebee is sprawled in the bed with him. On the on the floor is Picken. Dave slowly staggers to the bedroom door, careful not to trip over the comatose Picken.

In the living room Steve is awake, sitting in boxers multitasking: eating cereal out of the box, watching cartoons and checking his messages on his BlackBerry. He appears to be perfectly fine and regales Dave about the great night.

The kitchen is a war zone. Steve has used nearly every pot and pan. Steam is rising from a pot on the stove that has spaghetti noodles escaping over the top, sauce is spattered on the cupboards and there are scrambled eggs on the counter.

So I said to my dad, “just becauseyou hire and illegal alien as yourgardener doesn’t make you aliberal .”

DAVE

But he thinks Klansmen aremoderate if they cut bigger holes intheir hoods for the eyes.

They line up behind a woman taking a long time to order.

COFFEE WOMAN

But I can’t have the latte becauseI’m lactose intolerant.

COFFEE CLERK

Fine Ma’am. We can make it withsoya.

COFFEE WOMAN

And then there’s the mad cowdisease.

COFFEE CLERK

Like I said, we’ll make it with soya.

COFFEE WOMAN

Maybe I’ll just have a tea. It ’shealthier.

She produces a cigarette from inside her coat and proceeds to light it.

COFFEE CLERK

Ma’am, you can’t smoke in here.

COFFEE WOMAN

Oh for Heaven’s Sake. Tobacco is organic.

She leaves the line up and heads to the door.

STEVE

Yup some night. We’ll have to dothat again. Hey, where’s my cellphone. Did I leave it at your place?

DAVE

I don’ t know.

STEVE

Call it and see if someone has it?

DAVE

You know I don’ t have a cell phone.You bug me every week about it.

STEVE

Who’s did you use last night?

DAVE

I didn’t make a call last night. Atleast, not one I remember.

They finally order their coffees and turn to leave.

Ally appears from a room in the back and walks towards a little raised stage. Dave stops and stares at her in puzzled recognition. Ally fumbles with the microphone and when she turns to adjust her stool, the guitar knocks over the mic stand. The crowd laughs and Ally flushes red.

Dave rushes to the stage to help her get set up.

ALLY

Thanks.

DAVE

Ally, don’t you remember me?

ALLY

(she thinks)

Um, Dave. Wow. You look…good.Better than I remember.

DAVE

You too. I mean, you look good, notbetter. I mean, you could lookbetter. I mean you always lookedgood…

ALLY

Thanks. I think that was acompliment.

DAVE

Is Kathy here?

ALLY

I don’ t want to talk about her rightnow.

DAVE

Oh. Okay. I know how you feel .

STEVE

C’mon Dave I got to go.

DAVE

You remember Ally Burns, Kathy’sfriend.

STEVE

Yeah, ‘Hi . ’ You coming Dave?

DAVE

I think I ’m going to stay and listen.

STEVE

Fine. I’ll see you later.

DAVE

Uh huh.

Ally is flattered that Dave will stay to listen when his friend was so anxious to go.

ALLY

I, um, have to play now.

DAVE

Sure, sure. Go ahead.

Ally sings her set ( in montage) . We hear one that sounds a lot like Dave’s sad phone message from the other day. After she plays, Dave approaches the stage while she packs up.

DAVE

That was terrific. And I don’t evenlike that kind of music.

ALLY(laughing)

Thanks. And what kind of musicwould that be?

DAVE

(embarrassed)

Um, you know, the good kind.

ALLY

Oh, right.

DAVE

I really liked that one where the guycalls asking for another chance.

ALLY

You should. You were theinspiration.

DAVE

I was?

ALLY

You called and left the message forKathy on her machine. I heard it .You really need to be careful aboutleaving messages you never knowwho will hear it.

CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY. CLOSE UP OF DAVEDave has suddenly remembered his phone cal l from the strip club last night. Not all of it, but enough to know that what he has done is bad and he needs to do something, anything, to retrieve that message.

We see a montage of the night’s drunken behavior and slow motion, repeats of him saying things like “Big Boobies” and “Tiny Prick”.

CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY.

DAVE

(panicked)

I have to go.

ALLY

You sure? We could grab a…

DAVE

( interrupting)

No, I really have to go.

Dave stumbles as he tries to navigate the narrow confines of the café aisles.

DAVE (CONT’D)

Good to see you though. Reallygreat. We’ll have to do it again. Realsoon.

Dave leaves the coffee shop and almost immediately burst back in.

DAVE (CONT’D)

Where did you say Kathy was?

ALLY

I didn’t . She’s won’ t be back from atrip to the coast for at least a week.