“I guess I’m not the most exciting swimmer you could have ended up with.” I rinsed my sunglass-like swim goggles, readying them for the return to my swim bag. “Wait, did you just talk to me?” the goggles asked. They were not used to being addressed except after, perhaps, a failure to properly keep water out of their wearer’s eyes. “Yes, I did. I’ve always had a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. I think it started with walking into door frames when I was a kid.” “I bet you didn’t say nice things!” offered the goggles. “Oh, I don’t know. I just sort of recognized that the inanimate things around me seemed to communicate sometimes. Rocks and cars and instruments talk too, you know.” “Well, they do if you’re inclined to listen. Or maybe you’re just a bit nuts.” The goggles smiled and did their best to wink but just fell to one side. “Or maybe it’s just fun!” I exclaimed. “Don’t you like communicating?”“It’s not my job, really” explained the goggles. “I do what I’m b…