Wednesday, January 13, 2010

It was common to find that the more someone was involved in the organization and the more senior the teacher was, the more “sensitive” he/she was about many things, e.g. food, environment, people, music, activities, the paranormal, etc. Somehow, with time, we developed sensitivities that were attributed to "evolution." Being more sensitive was regarded as having reached a higher state, being more spiritual. Being less sensitive was hmm ... the contrary.

Many were allergic and/or phobic to many things. It was often a pain to hang out with teachers, especially Part 2 teachers, swamis, Sahaj teachers, senior teachers. I dreaded feeding them, hosting them. They were all big time prima donnas in the name of enlightenment. I call them, “enlightsitives” = enlightened + sensitive.

Sugar, white flour, flour, grains, cereals, non-organic, coffee, soft-drinks, garlic, onion, mushrooms, frozen, not frozen, cooked, not cooked, etc., etc., etc. Or else, smells: cleaning detergents, sprays, perfumes, shampoos, soaps, dry-cleaned clothes, etc. Or else music, “that is so not sattvic. My prana is going down. Put on some bhajans.” (After so many years of AoL I suddenly noticed one day I did not know what the world was listening to and I only knew the words to bhajans! Thank God they were not that difficult!). Or else, “there is such bad energy in this house, I cannot stay here” or “that person is so low, ignore him/her, it’ll consume your energy field.” Or else, the pita, vata, kapha! Or else, the overall belief that activities, such as, going to the movies is not sattvic. For heaven’s sake! Imagine young people not living their time! Feeling guilty about partying, dating, hanging out, making out, having desires. Isn’t it all part of growing up, being human, learning, discovering life and oneself? Did our parents, grandparents not do it after all? Were they that bad? That unevolved? Did the great inventors, philosophers, scientists, doctors, teachers not engage in such activities either? Were they that bad? SSRS watches movies, loves potato chips and likes that song “Besame, besame mucho” (as per a friend’s translation: “Kiss me, kiss me a lot, kiss me as if this was the last time …” Interestingly sattvic ☺ !)

I was speechless when I recently heard some people even self-induced vomit or naturally vomited after being exposed to what was considered “unpure” energy, e.g. hanging out with people who belong to “the world”, doing kriya with bad/low energy people, etc.!

I remember once 5 people were dumped in a room, amongst them a teacher. It was uncomfortably tight yet the teacher insisted everyone needed to move everything around (bed, wardrobes, bags, etc.) in an incoherent way for everyone but her only because she otherwise could not sleep -she needed to lie in the same direction of the underground water (or was it some energy wave?). She considered herself more evolved than the rest because of these needs. We thought she was self-centered, selfish and “looney”. She was just “enlightsitive.”

Eating meat was, of course, the ultimate anti-glow sin. I met some people who upon medical advise went back to eating meat. They did so with so much guilt and were constantly worried people would notice them less "bright" and sense their "bad" energy. In fact, they were sure Bhanu and SSRS discriminated them since their change of diet. At least, Bhanu kept making awful remarks to them about it. But let me see, if one has to choose between glowing and health, glowing and health... Come on, does meat-free diet ensure "glow" and purity? Glowing in the name of evolution is definitely overrated. I know so many meat eating people who are so sensitive, spiritual and loving! And I know so many vegetarians who are vicious, awful people.

I am not sure yet if the collective hysteria was brought from TM and we ended up adopting it, or if the practices created such imbalanced sensitivities and/or eliminated our “energetic immune system”. I was an “enlightsitive” myself. However, today it makes no sense to me that evolution would bring such ineptness to cope with everyday life, situations and discriminate "unpure people" (as I write I am ashamed of the arrogance!). I am not invalidating the claims of anyone’s sensitivities (I have my own share) but I keep wondering if a truly evolved person would make a fuss about everything, or if, instead, enlightenment is that state in which one is sensitive yet finds oneself at ease and in acceptance with everyone and anything.

As stated earlier, many people, especially senior teachers, considered such claims heroic and a sign of evolution. Unfortunately, imitation is the most powerful form of education.

SSRS himself also discriminated against people in that manner. There was often a say in the hallway while waiting for him: better not hang out with “blue stars” or low energy people otherwise he will not let you in ("your energy will get contaminated and he will feel it"). It was sad to notice people avoiding each other, and unfortunately, ignoring some “not dignified” souls, and of course, there was always this hidden fear one was actually the one everyone stepped away from. It stirred up awful degrading feelings. Furthermore, how many times did he refuse to stay in a devotee’s more humble home because their energy was not high enough for him? (though of course, a 5 star hotel or a mansion were never a problem).

I admit I was once also an “enlightsitive.” In fact, I am still sensitive to many things. However, it is funny to notice that since I left the AoL and the more time goes by since I stopped doing the practices, I feel more equipped to deal with differences and they don’t bother me anymore. AoLers would explain it as I am now less evolved because I am now “in the world” and out of “his grace”. I believe my organism is gradually stronger and I everyday have less AoL softwares in my hard drive. Thus, whew! I am no longer “enlightsitive”!☺

40 comments:

Hysterical..didn't it make you want to spit in some of the food these people were being served? The demands of some of these people and their "requirements" were so exhausting. I met a number of senior teachers who were totally faux..narcissism would have been a step up towards normal for some of them. I notice energy and noticed the 1st time I saw Ravi a number of dark "things" in his energy field, kind of like leeches. Doesn't sound too "evolved" to me. And explain Bahnu..does she have a stomach tumor? She didn't look healthy. She struck me as creepy and totally self-involved. There are some physiologies that need more protein, especially those individuals of Western origins, and kapha loves the coffee and benefits from some.

If you are truly sensitive, you learn to move away from craziness in the energies of others. That is what you did by leaving. Enlightenment is about awareness and being able to drop illusion. For me, stopping AoL practices was dropping illusion. Don't know if there was enlightenment involved, but there was certainly peace.

Isn't it interesting how the "evolution" that is supposed to lead one to a point where one is at home with anything anywhere, beyond all duality, not-identified with the phenomenal world, totally free, the owner of Creation ... makes one so dependent on the practices, so unable to relate to those who are different, so set in a mental scheme of how things should be ... ? It is a comedy, really, thinking back now.

A specific example: there was this swami (the sweetest person, taught blessings courses in the US), who would not eat a couple of things (say, carrots and pineapple). Somebody asked him why and the answer was that these food items made him sense everything that the person in front of him had done in their life and he would just get too upset and wouldn't be able to handle it.

By the way, thinking of this swami, I am reminded of something that points to how some of AoL's money is handled. By the swami's own account, when he was considering going full time with AoL after he finished college, there was the looming matter of his father's being indebted to the government and in danger of having some land of his appropriated by the authorities. So, he was torn between getting a job and helping his family financially on one hand and devoting himself to AoL on the other. The guru told him not to worry and ended up giving him the money his father needed to pay his debt to the government, so the future swami was free to join AoL full time. If memory serves me right, it was to the tune of 18,000 rupees. After all, that the mandate of a no-profit organization, right?

Wow that reminds me of my TTC phase 1. As an example of how the Guru takes care of every one, our teacher related to the event when he was gifted a Maruti Alto as a birthday gift by Sri Sri. This was in 2000 and the car would have cost about Rs.220,000. Now I see if from an entirely different angle- "Where the millions go?"

To those who worry about "impure" foods being "un- sattvic" I say, bring on the barbeque, burgers and steaks!Nothing more pitiful than seeing non-muscular, weak looking, skinny followers whose systems are craving some real protein. And despite my 37 years of daily meditation, there's still nothing that get's my energy and creative juices up in the morning like a good old cup of java and some proper supplements, amino acids, etc.

For all their efforts to remain pure, their bodies can't be as functional or healthy as those who eat balanced diets. Just looking at them on the surface proves the point.

This reminds me of the time when my city had the “honor” of hosting ravishankar on one of his tours. The visit was a huge ordeal, which required months of advanced planning, fund-raising, marketing, and promotion. Then a week or so before the event, we received a thick manual on “guru care”, and then a few days later, a team of older teachers and devotees who were apparently experts in this “guru care” showed up at our doorstep.

So much time and effort was spent cleaning and sanitizing any of the spaces in which ravishankar would sleep, eat, shit, or otherwise set foot in for any extended period of time. His hotel room was rearranged, and so much money was spent on fresh bedding, supplies, and toiletries (all 100% organic, cotton etc.) Many other useless and luxury items were bought on a whim, which could not possibly have been consumed by a single person in the less than 24-hr period he planned to stay in our city.

His food was also a big deal, and of course he could not eat the same food as everyone else that was catered by the restaurant. One of his more senior teachers and devotees was charged with doing the grocery shopping and cooking, and then transporting it to the hotel. So much food was bought, and so much was left unused.

By the end of the event, all of the supplies that were bought, all the way down to the toiletries and bed sheets, mysteriously disappeared with the “guru care” crew. The event racked in thousands of dollars for the foundation, but when it came time to do the accounting, none of the hosting expenses were refundable. This is just another example of how we got shafted.

It is still amazing to me how much time, money, and energy people (including myself at one time) are willing to spend to entertain that man’s fancies (or sensitivities, whatever you want to call them.)

AOL teachers especially the senior ones are a bunch of hypocrites, in the ashram and in front of Guru they are enlightened and sensitive beings but once out, they binge on coffee,tea, non satvic food etc. They love branded stuff though they teach non materialism in their courses. They want to own the latest gadgets and would make their wants known among the students and in most cases the students would gift it to them.Some of them would shop till they drop and expect the host or students to pay for their purchases.

Most of them are young, makes you wonder what experience in life they have to impart knowledge to others.

Most of them are also sickly - Bharath - the senior most teacher trainer is a bundle of ill health - he is so sick that he is not able to travel on air planes. Having said that, Bharath is one of the nicer teachers - he is unassuming and kind. God Bless him.

Some of them suffer severe back problems - wonder why the Padmasadhana does not help them.

Bhanu is a another epic altogether, a real dumbwit who is so unaware of things around her and yet she imparts knowledge. She is a shopholic - the diamond and expensive designer sarees speak volumes. And yet the Guru wants his teachers to be simple, wear white or light clothes and present a facade of simplicity.

Annoying yet amusing to observe all these antics of the so called avatar and his jingbang.

zhoro i have heard that story. It was Rs.12,000. If we are talking about the same sweet swami who takes blessing courses then hear this. At that time the swami had already worked for more than 2.5 months with AoL for free. He was not paid anything. He still is working for free. He happens to be a IIT Bombay graduate engineer. He served as assistant aashram manger then! that much pay for so much of work is excusable isnt it?

My goodness. I thought being enlightened means being one with the whole univese. Possibly people become sensitive on the way to enlightenment and harrass others unnecessarily :) I think Aolites should learn from their Guru. He seems to be cool. It could save him lot of irritation and stress. Others will enjoy a more pleasant Guru.

During my short term in AOL, I met few Advance course Teachers.Everyone behaves like walking on the cloud. However, I must mention one teacher, who was my First Advance course teacher. He stayed at the non-Ac room in the month of May, alloted to him without any complaints. On last day, one devotee called for dinner, and onion was used in the dinner since the family was not aware about diet practices in AOL. We were worried that how the teacher will react. But, he take the dinner silently without any complaints. He never talked about any magic stories of Ravishankar. After leaving AOL, I still respect very few people in AOL, and he is one of them.

Totally agree with you. Not that I advocate meateating. But I find lots of heartless respirating compassionless cannibals among sanctimonious vegetarians.

I was under a stultifying grip of one 'swamiji' for a while. I ought to have listened to my child who told me upfront " he is no swamiji ,I don't like him". Even today I feel scared when I think of him.

After one 'bhajan session' which induced repeated yawns in me I was sso relieved to hear an old tamil film song " kanavil nadandado.." coming from a transistor radio in a teashop:))

Btw , there is a beautiful song of Meerabai that runs :-

" If vegetarianism could confer Godhood , all the goats & sheep must be enlightened ; if bathing could....all fish living in water....."

Funny how one of the first things I did after Ravi was through with me, was getting drunk on a few beers and watching a video of a UB40 concert once or twice over. One of the songs was the Shiva Manas Puja. And in my inebriated state I wondered if Ali Campbell wasn’t perhaps an avatar under cover. I thought, well, he’s got a nice stage personality, I could easily deify him instead. And who says this concert is any less sattvic than a Ravi mahasatsang? :-)

It is not much money, indeed. The point was more about the artibtrariness with which funds are handled within AoL. Paying off somebody's father's debt to the government is definitely not what AoL got its tax-exempt status for. That payment was not a payment for services rendered, it was an arbitrary outlay on behalf of Ravi Shankar for the purpose of removing the obstacle for one person to become a full-time servant of the organization. More than anything, it points to an approach which violates the grounds on which tax-exempt status is granted by the goverment.

When I sent my resignation letter to Ravi Shankar, one of the points I was making was exactly the lack of accountability for how funds are handled. In his reply, he chose to ignore most of my other points (if you haven't seen my resignation letter, you can do so at Guruphiliac's archives circa March 2008), but not this one. It must be a very sensitive one, since ultimately the very existence of the organization and the perception of it among the masses is conditional on this tax-exempt status in some way. However, as usual, his reply contained nothing more specific than the simply the claim that everything was fully accounted for. We, former insiders, know that this is not so. To my further request to be directed towards documentation proving his claim, I received no reply. No surprise there.

I wonder what did I not have that those swamis had that he presented them such nice gifts? That "random act of kindness" was not usual. I also dedicated my life to him and worked for free for him. No matter how much I asked him for help he never gave it to me, in fact, he removed help from me when more needed. I wonder if he did not find me as cute or was I not as hairy or as submissive or ...? I definitely brought in more money and produced more than those swamis who only walk to a satsang or course previously all organized for them (but they get the credit)! Other than how the funds were handled inappropriately, knowing about these generous gifts, I must confess, irritate me because of the unequal treatment teachers got. I find the karma argument too convenient and unacceptable :(

Talking about tax-exempt funds, I am wondering on what ground the massive expense for the silver jubilee celebrations was justified. What kind of charity work did that represent? What it did represent for sure was a tremendous PR effort.

A guru is supposed to be simple, desirelessand live very austre lives but to the contrary SSRS insists his food be served on pure silver plates,wears beautifully co-ordinated Dhoti jubah sets, dons GUCCI sunshades which he is paranoid of loosing.His herd like devotees find all this very cute.

This reminds me of a story where an indian-american waoman had lovingly cooked some indian delicacy for SSRS. That was not given to him saying she was impure! at the lunch SSRS asked for the same thing and said why its not served to him. sacred his people called that woman next day she not only cooked but served him as well. says a lot about the guru and ppl surrounding him!

LOL! I still remember cleaning up our teacher's house a whole day (including toilets!) because another teacher (who knew Guru-care) guided us in this cleaning endeavor (I don't recall her personally cleaning though- only us volunteers!) Well, we did it out of loyalty and love and I do not regret it even now.

But there are deeper things I am remorseful about- where the funds go, accountability? I donate to another organization which regularly sends me receipts and updates. I dont see this happening in AOL- I have mentioned this to a senior teacher but got no real answer.

Today, Haiti is crying for help. And I hear that there is Rudra puja in the ashram. I'd have thought that the seniors would have rushed to Haiti to see how they could help...not sure of what they are doing? Somehow I can't help but notice...one part of the world is crying for help...if all these pujas of mass frenzy set the energy fields right, why is there death and destruction still? (I must re-read 'Conversations with God' again...)

I think AOL is confusing everything from spirituality to social work. They wear one tag or another when it suits them. Sad...sad...sad. If you point a single thing to them, they call u an intellectual jack-ass who can never see enlightenment, leave alone spell it.

I recall a phrase from Ashtavakra Gita which Guru-ji, in his younger days, had voiced: Banda mukto bhava.

You are free. I am so happy, I am free...now I can really seek God/Unvierse.

zhoro and anonthe story i heard was like this government had assessed the tax on swami's father's land at Rs.600,000. they could not pay as it was more than the land's price. so they were fighting the case for months. meanwhile swami started working with aol banfalore aashram for free. after 2-3 months one fine afternoon swami was called by SSRS and was given Rs.12,000 to keep. swami refused as he had volunteered to work for free. but he was forced to keep the money. at night swamiji's father called from pune (swami was at bangalore aol aashram) saying their appeal was heard and fresh tax order has been passed. tax liability was exactly Rs.12,000. swami checked the timings of tax assessment proceedings when swami's father was with the government officer.it was approximately the same time when SSRS called swami and gave him the exact sum. pune bangalore distance is at least 400-450 kms.swami mentioned he was a complete atheist. even now he doesnt look like much of a ritualistic religious man to me. when he was a student he appeared for Rudra Pooja without having a bath. He brushed washed his hands and face clean wore fresh cloths and aprreared for Rudra Pooja quietly. Within 10 minutes SSRS packed him off to have a bath saying swami hadnt had bath. having heard this if one take SSRS as a Guru a Master then how can one ask him questions about money?

KlimI went through all the posts in this blog and it has given an intresting perspective. I have done the AOL basic course and could sense the hypocrcy of the people at first sight.Its not just me but most people who did this course with me in Mysore have this perception. But some how these views are not so well propogated as compared to AOL's official view. I was involved deeply with another spiritual group -pranic healing. I find the exact enlightsitive behaviour in this group. A senior pranic healing teacher who was initiated by the master chao kok sui avoids most people because of bad vibrations. She cannot go to cinema halls as she finds too much of lower chakra vibrations. She cannot even eat vegetarian food in hotels as she fears the emotions of the cooks have permeated the food. She also gives vibrations to food before eating. One intresting behaviour I found with her is she feels good vibrations in rich and affluent places. I dined with her once in a posh five star palace turned hotel in Mysore and she had no complaints. The place served non vegetarian food along with alcohol. But I guess the good vibrations were too powerful here.

"I wonder if he did not find me as cute or was I not as hairy or as submissive or ...? "

This kind of sums up the AOL basic prerequisities - Cute, Hairy, Submissive. Added to this are two other spiritually ennobling qualities - Rich and Famous.

Regarding IIT and IIM grads,they are deliberately recruited into AOL (and other groups like Kalki, Nityananda, Jaggi,Ammachi, Isckon, Sai Baba). These grads form good advertising fooder for attracting recruits among some sections in India. Especially the middle class indians who hold these institutes in high regard. These IIT/IIM grads are the blue eyed boys and treated quite well in the organization and get placed higher up in the spiritual heirarchy. My AOL teacher who was what I call an 'IIT idiot' used to constantly refer to his hallowed IIT days. It was obvious he was trying to impress us with this association.That said, there too several IIT/IIM grads who are utter failures in business, industry and general life. I know many IITians who are unable to cope up the pressure of the corporate world and try to settle in for less paying and less stressful jobs. AOL and guru cults would be a good place to hide for many of them.

Before the whole world start thinking indian media is uncritical about godmen. Sri Sri Ravishankar is considered as a conman and criminal in many sections of the indian media. There is a very famous Bollywood movie -Halla Bol which has portrayed a Ravishankar look alike. This swamiji among other socialities watches a murder of a bar maid taking place in a party.Since the murderers are highly powerful politicians they cover up this crime.

Watch this you tube video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNr-pj0oacE&feature=related

Watch from 6:40 minutes.For those who cannot understand Hindi.

The hero (Bollywood star Ajay Devgan) asks swamiji to help him uncover the truth of the murder as he is an eyewitness. The swamiji replies in characteristic ravishankar style that the whole external world is an illusion and we all need to go within and find solutions from within. To this the hero replies that the swamiji's true colors have come out in the open and Swamiji is an empty shell from his mouth to his asshole. A man of no integrity.

This Bharat bhaiya (now a swami) one more rishi and a swami were at a shopping mall in Singapore with SSRS. Bharat being SSRS's then secretary was holding SSRS's wallet. They finished shoopping and goodies were loaded into the boot and SSRS was seated. Other men went into the mall to pay the bills. lo and behold they were short of cash by some 300-400 dollars. Everyone emptied their pockets but there was nothing. SSRS's wallet was searched thrice over but there was nothing inside. not a dime. SSRS was getting impatient not knowing what kept his men. He tried to walk out of the car but bharat assured him that they were just paying and coming out. At last when the men didn't have any other choice bharat had to walk upto SSRS and gave him the news that goods may have to be returned. SSRS was disbelieving. SSRS said to bharat it is not possible that his wallet could be empty. Bharat silently handed him the empty wallet. SSRS casually asked how much they were short and bharat informed. From the same empty wallet out came the dollers and the bills were paid.

Sorry to disillusion you but what Bhanu wears most of the time are expensive designer stuff - my wife has accompanied her on her sprees once upon a time and she knows for sure they are not ordinary garb.

Please tell me which shop I can find those unique designs - I would like to purchase a few for my wife.

Please dont blurt if you dont know the facts - we all know all the pro AOLites cannot accept the truth - truth sure does hurt.

Not only are the sarees designers made and expensive, but her jewelries are bigger everyday, and her purses also not fake. When someone once noticed her brand-name purses were not imitation, surprised by the incoherency of the action, she was innocently asked if it was real or imitation. Offended, Bhanu replied her stuff was never imitation. Is she aware of the price of those purses and that priding to own one is not advisable? The cost of one can feed at least half a village in Southern India! Not to mention, non-vegan purses - it is not OK to eat them but OK to carry them ... what about the men explotation that occurs in diamond mines to make her bracelets and earrings? Will those people eliminate karmas because they had the luck to dig the diamonds for the sister of the self-claimed enlightened?

I am not sure which part of this story you find significant. I'll tell you what I find most significant. It is the fact that the devotees' attention is drawn to the topic of special powers. That is counter-productive on the path to truth and only impresses the immature. What it is very productive for, however, is establishing and perpetuating a mythology that keeps those immature ones in cultish awe of the leader and as far from truth as possible. Mind you, I am not saying that so called siddhi do not exist. What I am saying is that their existence is real only with respect to the subject who should be the actual target of investigation. Sadly, this get lost to the typical AoL devotee among the tons of mumbo-jumbo.

Well, another potentially impressive thing about the story is the amount of that shopping bill, given that only the shortage amounted to $300-$400. :)

We actually believed in that kind of pathetic magic-thinking stories! While I read about the $300-$400 dollars missing story, I kept remembering all the times I even believed those stories. He would tell them in heroism, and we'd back them up with "ah!" like stupid, brain-less airheads. Funny, today when I read it, I thought, "I wonder what Bharat had in his head. Maybe he is not as smart after all." This hyperventilation does kill brain cells! What was this story fabricated for? To convince us he is something special because he can manifest money? He then criticizes Sai Baba all the time for solely feeding the faith of his devotees in miracles. Why doesn't he manifest some money now for Haiti? Or can he manifest only a couple hundreds per day?

Klim, he may not manifest money for Haiti, but he can always claim that he is taking care of things on a higher level somehow. A puja or two, a meditation and just watch how Haiti is transformed in no time.

Know what , I feel so happy & tranquil at last I don't celebrate any festivals . I don't feel guilty either.

The immensely popular parable of the Missing Tenth Man told by Ramana Bhagavan , we the guileless can now rejoice !

I had posted in Jody's blog earlier the following fact told by another person. That ssrs & his father are very much responsible for Indian Bank ex-chairman imprisoned for alleged financial embezzlements.

Also many indians know in the seventies the near bankruptcy was tided over by the country by pledging lot of gold from puttaparthi baba. How did he get so much gold & from where ??

You dare not ask these questions .This is vandematatammerabharathmahaanindia. Period. India has perfected the art of blaming everything on AmericaBritainPakistanChina. LOL..

Yes, after I did my basic course and after a few months, I wanted to participate in it again, as it is supposed to be free. I got sms from Lata (AOL Teacher) about the start of the course. When I called her, she said 'Why you want to do it again?.Spread the word and bring new comers.' Such was the arrogance and worst attitude that I feel sick of AOL. I am waiting for the day when SSRS would be behind bars, and the entire AOL assets would be confiscated by CBI.

"All indian politicians are same same.""India's moral quotient is negative.""No. I prefer FBI."

Please spare the sermons on the integrity of FBI to american conservaties.

I hope this blog does not reduce into some india bashing blog. India / Indians have several problems /Idiosychrasies. Not that other nationalities are exempt from these. Also, stereotying a billion odd people as lacking in values and ethics is stretching too much.

You are similar to AOL who also use strong sterotypes in their propoganda. Indians are spiritual and destined to be the guru country of the world, rishi bhumi and so on.

All countries/cultures have their positive and negative aspects. It’s good if problems are pointed out and debated, but it becomes harmful when one stereotypes the entire population. It is just as dangerous to eulogise a particular culture (or an aspect of it) too much – whether Indian or American, “East” or “West”.

I know I have not had wide exposure to everyday life in the cities and rural areas of India. But from the little that I saw it seemed to me that many people work very hard in India. Often it is terribly long hours under difficult conditions, with little pay. This applies not only to those doing physical labour; but also those with reasonably good office jobs in IT and publications. When I saw how some people are at their posts from before sunrise to after sunset all week long, I wondered how on earth the stereotype arose that Indians are “laid-back” or “lazy”. It just didn’t seem to be borne out by reality. The few professional people I had to deal with were efficient and accurate in their work, so there goes the “Indians are inefficient” stereotype.

A few times I was taken advantage of and overcharged by opportunists, but more often than not people were honest and fair. Sometimes bystanders even pointed out to me I am being cheated or tried to protect me from forms of exploitation. Overall people were friendly and offered help of their own accord, especially when I travelled by public transport. E.g. when I travelled third class by train in those horribly overcrowded compartments all the way from Mumbai to Bangalore people looked after my stuff and kept a seat open for me whenever I went to the loo, they told me what station I needed to get off at and helped me find transport at a reasonable price.

Despite all the turmoil I went through in India with RS and company, I fell in love with India the five months I was there. It was like a kind of death when I had to leave. I would still like to return.

I completely agree with Panduranga that “stereotyping a billion odd people as lacking in values and ethics is stretching too much”. But it is equally stretching it too much to say that “Indians are spiritual and destined to be the guru country of the world”. I no longer think that India (or any other area of the world) has all the spiritual solutions for the world ready-made.

After I returned devastated from my RS adventure, I went to see a Taiwanese Master who had known me for a few years. I wanted his advice because I was unable to make sense of what happened between RS and me, and was still crying and sleeping most of the time, and it’s been going like this for eight months and not getting better.

He said to me: “Why you want Guru?! - More delusion! You think Guru has a secret. There is no secret. Master just hints you. Then it gets brighter and brighter, until Your Bright! Otherwise Master also speaks from his experiences. Can you study another universe to understand this universe? No, you cannot. You have to study this universe to understand this universe. Can you take a system from 200 years ago and use it today? No. But you can use it as yeast (stomach).” (i.e. as a catalyst to come to your own knowledge). He said, “Wake up quickly! Become a Master!”

Well, I haven’t woken up yet, nor become a master, but since then I no longer take any system of knowledge or scriptures – whether from India or elsewhere – too seriously. And I am no longer upset if I disagree with any Master’s views (including the views of the Master who gave me this advice). I always wondered whether a Master’s knowledge is relative to her/his experience like everyone else’s, or if it can lay claim to being at a higher level or more absolute in some sense. This Taiwanese Master helped me get clear on the relativity of ALL knowledge, including those attained in so-called higher states of consciousness. He was too much of an austere jnani to be able to help me heal my broken heart, but he effectively helped me claim back my intellectual independence.

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This blog was created with the sole purpose of providing former Art of Living members and currently doubting ones a space for healing, finding answers, understanding processes that we went through as active members and as "drop-outs", sharing, supporting each other, with understanding, compassion, and above all, freedom and forgiveness. We welcome you to share your stories. Authors will be kept confidential unless you request your name be published.

Helpful Books

"Take Back your Life: Recovering from Cult and Abusive Relationships" by Janja Lalich

"The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power" by Joel Kramer

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed in this blog are an expression of free speech and are protected as free speech. At no time is any content posted by the blog creator knowingly false. Opinions expressed in articles and files on this blog are those of the contributors and those opinions may not necessarily be shared by anyone involved in the creation of this blog. Events described in this blog are as accurate as memory and recollection permit. The experiences described in this blog is unique to the authors. You may have a more or less satisfying experience with the Art of Living Foundation or its related organizations.