Thursday, January 5, 2012

It just so happened that when I saw this image, I had been very upset. I was whining about how lame and boring my New Year's Eve was. Basically I was angry that I couldn't spend it with my friends while my brother was allowed to. But the moment I saw this picture, I felt like such an unappreciative little brat. How dare I complain about my New Year's Eve? I was with my family and we had more than enough food to eat. Meanwhile, there are people out there struggling to survive. They don't have time to worry about how to celebrate the New Year because they're too worried about when they will get their next meal. So this year, I plan on appreciating my life much more and being thankful for everything that I have. Happy New Year everyone ((I know I'm a little late XP) and I hope this year treats you well! <3

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Sunday, December 25, 2011

My birthday is a day before Christmas Eve. Yep. I was born on December 23. It's not that bad. I actually like that it's on December because I love the chilly weather. I also love the warm feeling (ironic?) the holidays give me. It also means my birthday is during the winter break. ^_^

But I can be very materialistic during this time of year. But can you blame me? Christmas revolves around presents! And because my birthday is so close to Christmas, I DON'T get double presents. I just get one present for my birthday and Christmas. -sigh- If only my birthday was on another month, I would get presents for my birthday and presents for Christmas. I know, I'm greedy. >.<

But anyways, I can't really complain all that much this year. Because my adorable boyfriend made me the happiest girl on my birthday. No, he didn't give me two different presents. He just gave me one for both days. But he did give me an expensive and BEAUTIFUL heart necklace from Kay Jewelers. It brought the biggest smile on my face as soon as I saw it. But the best part was his card. To be honest, even if he didn't buy me the necklace and just gave me the card, I still would've been the happiest girl. (See, I'm not that materialistic! ^_^) Because he wrote so many sweet things in the card, and I can tell he really meant all of it. <3

Friday, December 16, 2011

Black heels, high-waisted skirt, pink tank top. Nick stood there for what felt like an eternity, just looking in the mirror. Trembling started from his lips, his his fingers, and ended in his toes. Something stirred in him and awakened his soul. It filled him with sadness, fear, joy, and confusion. These pieces of clothing - all belonging to his older sister- were now so much more. They were now a part of him - a part of his skin. The person in the mirror looking back at him was finally the person he always knew he was born to be.

He ran the cherry colored lipstick along his lips and an unexpected tear drop fell from his eye. He softly whispered to himself, "This is me." But he wanted to yell it. He wanted to scream it and be loud enough for the whole word to hear.

But the world wasn't ready for him. So instead, Nick wiped away his tears and laughed. He laughed and laughed and danced to the music blasting inside of him. He danced away his fears. He danced away his sadness. He danced away all his feelings of being different and abnormal. He danced away all the venomous words his classmates attacked him with. But most importantly, he danced away his self loathing.

But then he saw something by the doorway that made him stop in his tracks and cut his laughter short. It was his father just standing there, watching him. His father's eyes filled with anger and shock.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

It's strange to think how just a few weeks ago, I was stressing out about how I couldn't tell if my crush likes me or if he only saw me as a friend. And now, I'm actually going out with him! He asked me out last Tuesday, so now we have been going out for 8 days. Lol. I sound like such a little girl about it, but I just really like him! And I seriously had no idea that he had any feelings towards me at all! -sigh- I was seriously the happiest girl in the world after he asked me to be his girlfriend. I couldn't stop smiling the whole time and I couldn't concentrate in any of my classes. All I could do was replay the whole scenario when he asked me out. >.< Hopefully this relationship lasts though. *crosses fingers*

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Omg. I can't even express how incredibly amazing I felt last night. -sigh- I still can't even believe that my crush (the one I actually wrote about on my last post) asked me out to go see a movie and have dinner!!! We watched Paranormal Activity 3, but I couldn't really concentrate because all I could think about was him and how I was actually in the movie theaters watching a movie - with HIM. lol. I gotta be honest though, I was pretty scared in some parts of the movie, and I really wanted to just hold on to him like I usually do with my friends while watching a scary movie. BUT, I didn't want to scare him away. What if he got annoyed by that? So I just held on to myself and occasionally covered my eyes. :P So anyways, after the movie we went to this really cute Chinese restaurant just a few blocks away. At first, it was REALLY AWKWARD. I was looking everywhere else but him! Lol. And I could tell he felt awkward too, but thankfully we relaxed a bit and just started talking about random things. Trust me, a stupid little smile was plastered on my face the whole entire time. I don't what it is about him, but he just really makes me bubbly and happy all the time. And then after dinner, we walked to the subway, and he was so sweet. He offered to give me his jacket because he saw how much I was shivering (it was raining and it was freezing!) but I didn't take it because I didn't want him to be cold. :) And so once I finally got home, I just kept replaying and replaying the time we spent together and everything we talked about. -sigh- I am really falling for him. But it's just so confusing, because I still don't know if he thinks of me as more than a friend. Because I'm telling you, MOST of his friends are girls, and he usually hangs out with them after school and they go to movies and stuff, so what if I'm just "one of the girls." And what if I'm nothing more than just a fun girl he likes to hang out with but nothing more? Grrr...why does this have to be so difficult.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

There is this guy who is in several of my classes, whose name and face are always on my mind. He has the most beautiful blue-green eyes that I've ever seen and his smile makes me weak in the knees. In two of my classes, he sits far away from me, so we don't really talk. But in Families class, I sit right behind him and he turns around to talk to me a lot. And out of everyone in the whole school, he's the only person I can really be myself with. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, but best of all, he lets me be me. I can really relate to him and we can just talk forever about everything and nothing. And I really think I'm falling for him. But when we're not in Families class, he ignores me. He acts like I'm invisible. He doesn't say "Hi" or even look at me. It's as if he doesn't know me. But once we're back in Families class, he goes right back to being amazing and talking to me like I'm someone he's interested in. -sigh- Idk. He's giving me mixed signals. I mean, I'm not trying to become his girlfriend after a few weeks of knowing him. No. I just want to be his friend - for now. LOL. But can't he at least acknowledge me in the hallways!? Or in my other classes!! Grrr...

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Wow, I haven't been able to post anything for the past two weeks! So here's a little update. I've been going to school and met some friends. BUT, I still feel like an outsider. The school system is just so different here in Canada and the students here are incredibly different. I don't know, it's just a little hard to fit in. -sigh- But on a good note, I love most of my classes! =D Especially writer's craft where all we do is write and write. But it's fun because it's like a writer's guild where we get in a circle and share our wrting and the whole vibe is just amazing. But yeah, I guess that's all for now. Hopefully my next post will be longer and much more positive. ^_^ And hopefully I'll find my niche by then. *crossing my figers*

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Today, I went to enroll at my new high school, and I was overwhelmed by all the students that were there to get their new class schedules. I couldn't help but look at how they all joked around with their friends, which made me nervous. What if nobody cares to make friends with the "new girl" ((aka ME)). After all, they've had years to make friends with one another and they're already content with their circle of friends, so why would they feel the need to go out of their way to befriend me? -sigh- Just the thought of me being friendless is enough to make me sick to my stomach especially since it's my senior year, which is supposed to be the happiest time of my high school life! Hopefully I'm just overreacting - like always - and hopefully everything will work out fine when I start school next week. HOPEFULLY!!! >.<

Oh, precious snow You were once in a far away land In a dream I couldn't quite grasp My eyes grew big in innocent wonder when I though...

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?You fall deeper with each passing day,But try to hide it in every possible way.He's only a friend, and nothing else--That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.You keep on saying he's just a bud,But deep inside, you're falling in love.You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.A simple glance turns into a stare,But you pretend that you don't care.It's "not right" for you two to be.Is that why you hide it so no one can see?But how long will you pretend?Keep lying that he's just a friend?Perhaps your feelings you can never show.Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.Your friendship can't be risked over this,So being his girl is an impossible wish...