Thursday, June 04, 2009

I went to see the best movie ever tonight (more about that later) and then my friend and I went out for dinner at a predominantly gay restaurant/bar. The problem with these places is that the food is expensive and usually sux. Of course they majorly screwed up my dinner, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES. It went like this...

MY cheeseburger is well done. I ordered medium rare.My new cheeseburger is now more well done than the last one.My third new cheeseburger is practically raw now.

SO they offered me a free drink. bleh. I don't drink barely ever. When I do I start sneezing like crazy and that is so HOT. I was like "I guesssssssss...I'll have the blood orange cosmo" It was pink and pretty! So I took a sip. It was like ALL ALCOHOL. No wonder their food's bad. They can't TASTE it. But still, it was so pretty, so I sipped a few more sips. For real I had about 1/5 of that cosmo.

THEN My friend and I parted ways. I, a wee bit tipsy, made my way home walking in the dark.

And THIS is what sets New York apart from other cities. You walk home. You don't just get tipsy and then get dropped off. This is when it gets scary. Those dark walks home, your judgement slightly impaired. Not knowing WHAT will jump out at you.

Annnndddd what jumped out at me was...

SALE!! up to 70% OFF!!

We're not talking ONE store either. They're all lined up. AND tucked away on small streets. So no one is there to hear your screams for help. I ended up with THREE new dresses, only ONE of which was on sale. That's how they get you. The sale stuff is lame. Size 00's. Neon and whatnot.

And to make matters worse, these are not the kind of stores that take kindly to returns. And I SWEAR of the non-sale stuff they only put out ONE of each size so they can be all "yah...that's the last one...company wide...in THE WORLD."

AND unlike every other mall in the world, they stay open LATE...to GET YOU. And just when you've left one store, there's another lurking around the next corner. Must have panties, an adorable pad of paper with matching bra, that cute hardback book sitting in the window of an adorable bookstore and WHY NOT just pop in for a mani/pedi? (at the mani/pedi place they even OFFER YOU FREE DRINKS! with things called the 'summer watermelon martini pedi')

I mean, we're completely helpless creatures out there in the city all alone. Where are Benson and Stabler when u need 'em?

Anyway. Go see the movie 'UP' because honestly it's the best movie in the history of all movies! I cried 10 times AT LEAST. In a good way. I know I'm partial since the star dog is a golden retriever. But for real I might have to say that it's my all time favorite kid's movie...MAYBE even my all time favorite movie. Seriously.

I'm going to go watch late night L&O SVU reruns to see if I can learn any new self defense techniques!

You think like me. I am always looking to blame my bad financial decisions on the service at restaurants when I eat out. I understand restaurants can make mistakes, but it is frustrating when they totally screw up your order so bad.

next time you need to go to dinner at a place that allows dogs THEN you can give them the yucky hamburger, they can protect you on your walk home AND you won't be able to go into all the stores with them!