Colin Firth…oh you have aged, but I still wouldn’t kick you outta bed. Even with that stammer and grim stare, you’re awfully adorable. So I have been cramming in some oscar nominated films I haven’t gotten around to yet, and the king’s speech has been on my list, since it’s a frontwinner to win the oscar’s. Oscar-worthy? Probably. Was it better than the Social Network? Possibly.

The story about King George the VI’s speech impediment was one I had never heard of before, and the film made it quite clear how incredible awkward and uncomfortable it was to listen to the former King of England. Good points to the film: great acting by Colin Firth, historical story I was not familiar with, likability of characters. Not so good points: story kind of dragged a bit, not the best roles for Helena Bonham Carter or Geoffrey Rush, and well, it was about a bunch of old dead white folks. Like there haven’t been about a million and one movies written about old dead white folks. There seemed to be definitely chemistry between the main characters, you could believe that they genuinely liked each other. Not terribly ground-breaking or innovative, there were some interesting camera shots that I think haven’t been tried in these types of traditional Victorian-esque films, but not a bad film all around. I think I just would have liked it better if it didn’t remind me so much of Howard’s End or Remains of the Day or any other dozen movies out there of old English people.

That said, it was enjoyable, one of the better movies I’ve seen in the last year for sure….$9

If you heart The King’s Speech:
Recommendations from …:
Young Victoria
Remains of the Day
Howard’s End

I left the theaters with damp sleeves, wet cheeks, and heavy boots. The subject-matter in Rabbit Hole is about the loss of a child – a sure-win for a tear-jerker. But the performance of Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart as Becca and Howie Corbett moves past the shock of loss. Without melodrama, Rabbit Hole peers into the daily lives of this couple in months after the tragedy. Becca and Howie are both trying to learn how to relate with the world again. Becca is the main focus of the story, the one constantly on the brink of losing it. Every moment with Becca is on-edge, because no one knows what moment or look, will cause her mental breakdown. Rabbit Hole is not overwhelmed with grief, it allows some room for humor and maybe even something to look forward to.

Kidman’s performance has been recognized and approved, but it is no better than Eckhart, Dianne Wiest (as Becca’s mother), or Miles Teller (as the boy responsible for the accident). I suppose as the biggest name, Kidman got the nominations, but each one of these actors delivered an impressive display of talent. As an adaptation of David Lindsay-Abaire’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play, the dialogue is sharp and potent. Wiest and Teller should have been formally recognized for their incredible performances … $10

Some kids are really cute when they’re little and grow up to be really beautiful. Some kids, like the unfortunate Jonathon Lipnicki from Jerry Maguire, or Haley Joel Osment, from Forrest Gump, and to a less cuter degree, Sixth Sense, are known for being awkward looking when they grow up. When I look at the Harry Potter kids, ok, so they’re not awkward looking, but they were so much more preferable in their little itty bitty cuteness in the Sorcerer’s Stone. Especially when the movie they are in is well, not so great.

So I will preface this by saying, I’m a big Harry Potter fan. I read all the books, watched all the movies, and yes, I know that it’s not quite my generation to be such a big Harry Potter fan, but I’m a big dork. So when they said they’re making two movies, I was like hey! more harry potter. But dude, this was such a drag! I think the only people who might like it are people who actually have followed the trials and tribulations of the trio for as long as I have and must see it to the end.

First of all, what’s up with all the weird angles. Like it’ll be a beautiful long-distance shot, and then a weird close up on Harry’s nose. Weird. I mean, clearly the director is talented, some of the shots were beautiful, but there were all these weird interludes that just didn’t make sense. And speaking of things that don’t make sense, what was up with the weird dance between Harry and Hermione? It just made it seem like the director meant to do the parts into one film at first, found out it was 10 minutes too long, and fill it up with a bunch of other garbage to split it into two films. There isn’t enough here to make it worthwhile on it’s own, but you kinda have to watch it to be able to finally watch the very last installment of the Harry Potter epic saga.

And the half nekked Ginny Weasley? Really? was that necessary? I think not.

So I don’t regret my decision to watch this, just because it’s necessary to watch the last one, but on second thought, I should have probably waited until it came out on DVD….$2

Alright, so I think the funniest quote I have seen about Little Fockers is the following:

“‘I bet the Robert DeNiro of ‘Taxi Driver’ would shoot the Robert DeNiro of “Little Fockers””

Or really Robert DeNiro of any other movie. Seriously. This movie was not that funny. I mean, honestly, I didn’t really go in expecting a ton, but it’s the same stale jokes, that were funny the first time around, but not as funny the third time around. Character development: none. Everyone was just annoying as hell. Ok, so I admit, a few chuckles here and there, but based on the star-studded cast, holy crap this movie was way overpaid for.

Jessica Alba, as always, was hot, but her character is RIDICULOUSLY annoying, so not a great addition to the already overpaid cast. Which is amazing cuz honestly I love Jessica Alba. Like Dark Angel Jessica Alba was totally someone I wanted to be friends with. She was chill, hot, and a genetically engineered killing machine. A good friend to have.

But back to the movie, it wasn’t great, wasn’t as terrible as Last Action Hero, so all in all, I rate it a $1 movie…

Not 127 Hours tho all the color drained out my nuts on this one. Furst ya’ll James Franco should not be in this shit. I’ve sized that nigga up and he would mos def not have tha sack to do this. Franco is a writer and a poet and sculptor and all sorts of gay shit. No man who writes poetry has the fuckin inner chi, the inner cojones to cut they own arm off. Franco should stick to comedy and Gucci commercials yo. I mean he wuz good in Milk but what actor can’t play a gay guy – the squirrel doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

Secondary – I’m axing myself why dit I just pay ten dollar to watch a guy stuck in a boulder for two hours. Cuz he cut his arm off at the vary end? O Hail No this shit did not warrant a movie about some hippie fo sho!! Maybe like a segment on YouTube. Some Double Rainbow kind of attention. But Danny Boyle you should know better I mean didn’t you do Slumdog? Slumdog bitch! Yo watching your talent here. Better than Harry Potter but not near as good as Black Swan holla . . . $7