Ever since appeasing California judge Stephanie Sautner by completing the bare minimum community service after repeatedly ignoring her court-ordered sentences for multiple criminal acts, Lindsay Lohan has been a changed woman. The 25-year old actress and singer is making it known that she’s serious about her career again and she wants someone – anyone! – to give her a chance again, since she’s been wrongly portrayed as this careless, arrogant party animal that never shows up to film movies on time.

But she’s also trying to tie up some loose ends in the meantime, specifically her lawsuits against people that have sullied her good name (i.e. that eTrade baby crap). Lohan is pursuing a lesser known lawsuit against singer/product whorist Pitbull, who pokes fun at Lohan’s substance issues in the song “Give Me Everything”. (And who, incidentally, will be providing the theme song for Men in Black 3).

This is insane: the way the name growin’
Money keep flowin’
Hustlers move aside
So, I’m tiptoein’, to keep flowin’
I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan

Poetry.

Again, Lohan is suing because this sort of lyrical liberty apparently defames her character. As if a Google search couldn’t provide much worse results.

But there’s a big problem with this latest lawsuit, as Lohan’s attorney, Stephanie Ovadia, is as serious about her career as Lohan is.

That latter case is on shaky ground due to the rapper’s free-speech rights. But Lohan’s attorney might have opened up an entirely new situation to watch: Ovadia has been accused of plagiarizing much of her recent legal brief from newspapers, law firms and other education websites.

Soon after Ovadia filed this brief, Pitbull’s pitbull lawyers responded by accusing the attorney of stealing her words. They wrote that her “legal discussion mostly consists of plagiarized excerpts of articles found on various websites without explaining their relevance to the facts and issues in this case.”

And they included a side-by-side comparison of quotes from Ovadia’s brief with excerpts from the educational site Art on Trial, the Los Angeles Times, various law firm websites and more. (Via the Hollywood Reporter)

Honestly, I’m shocked that their defense wasn’t a viewing of her recent Saturday Night Live appearance, followed by Lohan’s prepared statement: “See? All betters.”

I am at a loss as to whom I should be rooting for in this lawsuit.
*Flips coin*

Pitbull is the reason rap today fucking blows. He has zero talent as a lyricist and simply tweaks beats from Latin dance hall from the early 2000’s for his songs. Add in a few celebrity co-writers and some beverage spokesperson deals and I’m supposed to believe that this guy should be famous? Pitbull is the Dane Cook of rappers. He’s hard working, enthusiastic and a bit of a showman, but after watching him perform I just hate myself for being tricked. We’ll be stuck with mediocre talent if we continue to revere celebrities such as Pitbull. American pop culture’s stock will continue to plummet, leaving us on par with countries like Japan, laughing at an inside joke no one else seems to get. Meanwhile, Britain will sneak in with their handsome actors, talented rock stars and eloquent talent judges to become the world’s pop culture epicenter. So continue to buy Pitbull songs, follow his twitter and drink Dr. Pepper if you want to be upstaged by the bloody British!

In my own personal opinion, plagiarism is a ballsy accusation coming from a guy whose songs all sound exactly the same.Ugh, why can’t they both lose?

I’m sick of Pitbull’s stupid Bud Light commercial interrupting March Madness. ATTRACTIVE LADIES WOULDN’T EVEN LOOK AT YOU IF YOU WEREN’T INEXPLICABLY FAMOUS, YA’ DOUCHE.I am at a loss as to whom I should be rooting for in this lawsuit.
*Flips coin*

Pitbull is the reason rap today fucking blows. He has zero talent as a lyricist and simply tweaks beats from Latin dance hall from the early 2000′s for his songs. Add in a few celebrity co-writers and some beverage spokesperson deals and I’m supposed to believe that this guy should be famous? Pitbull is the Dane Cook of rappers. He’s hard working, enthusiastic and a bit of a showman, but after watching him perform I just hate myself for being tricked. We’ll be stuck with mediocre talent if we continue to revere celebrities such as Pitbull. American pop culture’s stock will continue to plummet, leaving us on par with countries like Japan, laughing at an inside joke no one else seems to get. Meanwhile, Britain will sneak in with their handsome actors, talented rock stars and eloquent talent judges to become the world’s pop culture epicenter. So continue to buy Pitbull songs, follow his twitter and drink Dr. Pepper if you want to be upstaged by the bloody British!

Freckle tits you say? This bite to get these freckle tits, what is it exactly that I need to do to acquire one? A checklist would be appreciated…I’m of course asking for a friend…who would like to acquire said freckle tits and do some motorized nautical research and experiments upon them.