Grit, Jam and Fluff

Geoff Jeffreys has turned atomic theory on its head by throwing out the standard model of particle physics and replacing it with a scheme in which only three particles are needed - elements which he has named Grit, Jam and Fluff.

"When you come down to it, most things are made up of just grit and fluff," he tells us. "Of course, you can't see these with the naked eye. You can't even see it with the microscope that my aunt bought me for Christmas, but by taping a couple of magnifying glasses together and fixing them to the end of my brother's telescope I found that I was able to determine the very building blocks of matter itself. And it's just grit and fluff. Seriously.

"Okay, occasionally you might see a bit of jam in there if you're looking at something particularly exotic, like a wasp's nest or a bit of trifle, but mostly it's just the grit and the fluff. Makes sense really, because when you look at the universe - as I do from time to time - it's fairly obvious that the planets are all made of grit and the stars and supernovas and gas clouds and stuff are mostly fluff with bits of jam. Simple. Right, so where's my Nobel Prize?"