"I like thitruth, but I don't like pith."

Month: November 2016

Sorry I was a little late tonight. I almost didn’t make it at all. See, I was driving down the road, and I ran into a bit of a rough patch, and–well, here I am. Boy, what a mess. I haven’t seen so much squash since that elephant sat on the dessert table at Thanksgiving last year.

I have to say, it’s great to be among such distinguished company. I understand some of you have traced your lineage back to the pumpkin that was turned into Cinderella’s coach. A few of you said you were descended from The Great Pumpkin. And I even heard some of you mention Sleepy Hollow.

You’re all out of your gourd, you know that? But what can you expect when you grew up in such a seedy place?

But seriously, folks. I understand how difficult it is when your home is demolished and you’re forcefully evicted. You’re discarded like dross. You feel worthless, and it seems you don’t have a friend in the world.

Though on the bright side, you haven’t been forgotten; yeah, I heard they lit a candle in remembrance.