What Women…and Men Really Want – Attraction Answers

15 years ago, I reported on an experiment I did in two cities with something called Speed Dating. Now of course everyone knows what it is. At the time we were the first and only people using speed dating in an experimental context.

Speed Dating is an interesting concept where you have 20 men and 20 women in a room. They each get a 6 minute date with each other. After each date they mark on a card whether they would like the other person to call them or not (for a bit longer date…in the future) If both people mark “”yes” we gave them that information at the end of the night.

That simple.

I had just finished writing Irresistible Attraction with my seminar partner and every shred of research information we could find about men, women, attraction, and what happens (as opposed to what they SAY they are attracted to, or they way things SHOULD be)…well, it all pointed to the fact that what people say and believe they idealize has nothing to do with what people actually do in the real world.

Before I show you what research recently released shows, I’ll tell you what we found.

Women didn’t need six minutes to know whether they wanted to date a man again. Most women decided (they said) in the first minute or two whether they would want to see a man again after that night.

Men decided instantly, within the first few seconds.

Women checked off “no” on about 80% of their cards.

Men checked “yes” on about half of their cards.

None of this was surprising to us. All was as we hypothesized based upon our research.

Not one person said they needed more than six minutes to decide whether they would want another date. (not 1 in 80!!)

*Everyone knew.* Everyone. (OK, we hadn’t predicted that.)

Now, we hadn’t made up an elaborate post-interview process beyond that.

From observing body language, we also predicted whether they would say “yes” or “no” and although I don’t have the data here, we hit the vast majority of both men and women right on target.

Stereotypes Still Exist in Dating

While humans may pride themselves on being highly evolved, most still behave like the stereotypical Neanderthals when it comes to choosing a mate, according to research by Indiana University cognitive scientist Peter Todd.

In a new study, Todd and colleagues found that though individuals may claim otherwise, beauty is the key ingredient for men while women, the much choosier of the sexes, leverage their looks for security and commitment.

This formula has served humans throughout time, with the model of choosy females reflected in most mammals.

An Evolutionary Trade Off for Men and Women

“Evolutionary theories in psychology suggest that men and women should trade off different traits in each other, and when we look at the actual mate choices people make, this is what we find evidence for,” Todd said.

“Ancestral individuals who made their mate choices in this way — women trading off their attractiveness for higher quality men and men looking for any attractive women who will accept them — would have had an evolutionary advantage in greater numbers of successful offspring.”

The study used a speed-dating session in Germany to compare what people say they want in a mate with whom they actually choose.

The Date

Speed dating, an increasingly popular way for singles to meet, involves sessions in which men and women have numerous “mini dates” with up to 30 different people, each date lasting anywhere from three to five minutes. After every date, the men and women checked a box on a card noting whether they would like to see the other person again.

Todd and his colleagues describe such speed-dating events as a “microcosm where mate choices are made sequentially in a faster and more formalized fashion than in daily life.”

For Todd’s study, 46 adults in a speed-dating session were also asked to fill out a questionnaire beforehand assessing themselves and their ideal mate according to evolutionarily relevant traits, such as physical attractiveness, present and future financial status, health and parenting qualities.

Not surprisingly, Todd said, participants stated they wanted to find someone who was like themselves — a socially acceptable answer.

Results?

The Results

But once the sessions began, the men sought the more attractive women, and the women were drawn to material wealth and security, setting their standards according to how attractive they viewed themselves.

Furthermore, while men on average wanted to see every second woman again, the women wanted to meet only a third of the men again.

While the study’s results came as no surprise to Todd, the research usefulness of the speed-dating forum did. Todd and his colleagues are conducting several other speed-dating studies that could confirm the results.

“Speed dating lets us look at a large number of mate choice decisions collected in a short amount of time,” Todd said. “It only captures the initial stage of the extended process involved in long-term mate choice. But that initial expression of interest is crucial for launching everything else.”

Reference: “Different cognitive processes underlie human mate choices and mate preferences,” to be published the week of Sept. 4-7 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Coauthors are Lars Penke, Department of Psychology, Humboldt University, Berlin, Germany; Barbara Fasolo, Operational Research Group, London School of Economics, London, U.K.; and Alison P. Lenton, Department of Psychology, University of Edinburgh, Edenburgh, Scotland, U.K. The study was supported by the Max Planck Society.

What Makes Them Decide?

Become More Aware of the Triggers of Influence!
What Makes a Person Decide? Find out!

The Science of Influence, Part V
Volumes 49-60
Kevin Hogan

12 HOURS of new information and we have some fun along the way.

The one area I’ve left open for speculation in the first 48 CD’s, I’ve closed in Science of Influence 49-60.

Impulse Activation moves your hand from their pocket to the shelf holding the magazines, candy bars and nail clippers when you’re in line waiting to check out your stuff at the store.

Impulse Activation is what causes you to push “Buy Now” instead of surf away to a different web page.

Impulse Activation is what causes you to give a meaningful contribution to a charity even when you considered to not do so.

And almost no one is able to INTENTIONALLY cause Impulse Activation.

Except You.

I’ve taken a decade of research and put it all to the task of Impulse Activation.

I show you the Covert Psychological Triggers that are the most likely to succeed and then I show you HOW to use them.

Then I take you into the world of women. No one has ever written about the Covert Psychological Triggers that CAUSE women to act or decide in your favor.

I have.

I take you through step-by-step and itemize those Triggers, then, I show you the EXACT WORDS and PHRASES that work when communicating with women. To my knowledge, no one has ever done this before.

And there is a lot more.

In the last year there has been a LOT of research done in what persuades people…in what unspoken (covert) factors CAUSE people to spend more money, come back more often, buy more products and services.

And I lay it out for you in easy-to-understand fashion.

You are the first to have this incredible program and I am proud that you will.

Because as you come to understand the mind of the other person; you’ll also be learning :

How to create the “gotta have it” feeling in consumers

How to melt away sales resistance

How to tap into the “primal” buying emotions

How to literally and instantly establish rapport

How to ’cause’ consumers to obey your hidden ‘sales push’

How to infuse “proof power” into your sales letters

How to arouse your prospect’s inner buying drives

How to influence your prospect’s mind to trust you

How to bypass your prospect’s conscious mind

In a nutshell, you’ll learn how to create influential messages that hold customers captive from the first words you say to the signing of the check.

In Science of Influence 49-60 you will learn how to:

Cause Them to Identify with You

Combine Two Key Drivers that Will Cause Compulsion to Comply

Form Questions that Will Cause Compliance When Asked

Never Have That “Phoney Feeling” Inside Again…and Instantly Watch Your Income Increase

Use the Power of the Invisibility Intensifier

Take Advantage of Kevin’s Full Christmas Tree Technique

Optimize the Use of Their Feeling of Fear

AND…

Determine Which of the Five Basic Fears to Utilize in Your Presentation or Copy

Adopt Key Characteristics of God that Make You More Persuasive (even if you are Agnostic!)

Use Features instead of Benefits to Close The Deal

Send The Energy of Being THE Problem Solver to Those You Influence

Use Sex and Sensuality to Sell. Clear and Simple

Modify Old Sales Strategies to Become Influential in 2007

Be THE Person That Imbues Them With Good Feelings…They Won’t Want You to Leave!

Link Good Feelings with Buying Now

PLUS…

* Take Advantage of The Impulse to Instant Gratification With You, Your Product and Service

The Science of Influence 49-60: Triggering Compliance in the Buying Sequence is UTTERLY UNIQUE among all programs about persuasion and selling.

Because, for the first time, you will find out EXACTLY how to influence women. (Whether you are a man or a woman doesn’t matter. What matters is how you will use what you discover here!)

Women react and respond VERY DIFFERENTLY than men to influence attempts.

The chances are very good that your business is HEAVILY WEIGHTED with either 80% male or 80% female clients and customers.

I’m going to show you how to gain compliance from the women you’ve been missing out on.

I’ll give you THE EXACT WORDS that are REQUIRED to influence and sell women.
I will show you the PRECISE ATTITUDE that is REQUIRED to market effectively to women.