Who am I now?

I am not quite sure where or how to start but I want to use this to tell a bit of a story. A story of my travels away from UM for the last 10ish years.

I became a member here in 2003. It was my place to connect with others who have similar interests. I met so many great people on this forum and UM became a large part of my life. During that time I had some big things happen for me that damaged me emotionally and mentally. I needed to heal myself and become stronger and so it was that I began a journey not only to understand what I was feeling but to discover who I am. I was always the Son and Brother and Friend who did what others wanted, who felt the way others wanted me to feel and give parts of myself away until finally there was nothing left to give. I had no support from friends or family and so it was a huge step for me to try and make that change.

As young men we are told that any kind of emotional or mental discovery is week. Hell we are even punished for it. This is always in your mind. No displays of affection are tolerated and you have to harden up! I have hardened up but not in this way. I have become stronger in myself and my ability to survive, to not have to hide my feelings and to take responsibility for my role in events. One of the hardest thing for me was finding my voice. Just being able to stand up and say " Hey...Listen to me". Once I did though I began to attract thing to me that I needed. I was able to open up more with people and all of them helped me on my path in their own ways.

Anyhoo, I will add more as time goes and I would like to thank you for stopping by.

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Daughter of the Nine Moons 8,980

People sometimes mix up hard and strong. I know that I did. To me hard is immobile. Hard can splinter or shatter if you exert enough force against it. Strong is flexible and it gives as well as takes. Being strong allows you to fall and cry and laugh and get up and move forward. Even if you get a bit bloodied in the process

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Kismit 10,405

Thank you for sharing this. I wish more men would. Nobody is strong on their own and keeping thoughts and feelings hidden is not being strong. If you need help it is ok to ask for it, but it is not an easy thing to ask for