Varney the Vampire eBook

Here they came to a stop and endeavoured to ascertain
its width, but the little reflected light they had
was deceptive, and it did not appear so broad as it
was.

“Oh, I can jump it,” exclaimed one.

“And so can I,” said another. “I
have done so before, and why should I not do so now.”

This was unanswerable, and as there were many present,
at least a dozen were eager to jump.

“If thee can do it, I know I can,” said
a brawny countryman; “so I’ll do it at
once.

“The sooner the better,” shouted some
one behind, “or you’ll have no room for
a run, here’s a lot of ’em coming up; push
over as quickly as you can.”

Thus urged, the jumpers at once made a rush to the
edge of the ditch, and many jumped, and many more,
from the prevailing darkness, did not see exactly
where the ditch was, and taking one or two steps too
many, found themselves up above the waist in muddy
water.

Nor were those who jumped much better off, for nearly
all jumped short or fell backwards into the stream,
and were dragged out in a terrible state.

“Hold your noise,” said another, “and
help me to get the mud out of my eye; I can’t
see.”

“Never mind,” added a third, “considering
how you jump, I don’t think you want to see.”

“This comes a hunting vampyres.”

“Oh, it’s all a judgment; who knows but
he may be in the air: it is nothing to laugh
at as I shouldn’t be surprised if he were:
only think how precious pleasant.”

“However pleasant it may be to you,” remarked
one, “it’s profitable to a good many.”

“How so?”

“Why, see the numbers, of things that will be
spoiled, coats torn, hats crushed, heads broken, and
shoes burst. Oh, it’s an ill-wind that blows
nobody any good.”

“So it is, but you may benefit anybody you like,
so you don’t do it at my expence.”

In one part of a field where there were some stiles
and gates, a big countryman caught a fat shopkeeper
with the arms of the stile a terrible poke in the
stomach; while the breath was knocked out of the poor
man’s stomach, and he was gasping with agony,
the fellow set to laughing, and said to his companions,
who were of the same class—­

“I say, Jim, look at the grocer, he hasn’t
got any wind to spare, I’d run him for a wager,
see how he gapes like a fish out of water.”

The poor shopkeeper felt indeed like a fish out of
water, and as he afterwards declared he felt just
as if he had had a red hot clock weight thrust into
the midst of his stomach and there left to cool.

However, the grocer would be revenged upon his tormentor,
who had now lost sight of him, but the fat man, after
a time, recovering his wind, and the pain in his stomach
becoming less intense, he gathered himself up.