Date: Sun, 26 Mar 2000 14:39:59 EST
From: ButterGuy1@aol.com
Subject: my-perfect-life
Hi. I havent posted since back in June or July of 99'. I hope you don't mind,
but could you delete "my-perfect-life-2" and replace "my-perfect-life-1" with
the attached file? I would really appreciate it, and I promise to keep up
with the story this time. Thank you so much!
~~~~~~ Hiya everyone. It's been a while since I've posted, and Nifty has
been really great about letting me restructure my story. I'll keep up this
time, and I'll be sure to answer any emails you send my way. I appreciate
all comments and questions.
~~~~~~ By writing this story, I am not suggesting anything about the members
of N'sync, this is a work of fiction.
~~~~~~ All the legal stuff applies. Do not read this story if you are under
18, if this type of material is prohibited in your area, or if you are
offended by homosexual material.
*****
I was running as fast as I could down a long hallway. Behind me, a
man in a black trench coat was running after me. He was slowly gaining on
me, and as hard as I tried to lose him, he always seemed to be right behind
me. After a minute or two, he caught up to me, and dragged me to the floor.
He was on top of me, pinning me down. He turned me over so I was able to
look into the man's eyes. I realized immediately who it was. He was Bill,
my lover of four years.
"Let me go damn it!" I screamed. I tried to push him off with all
my might, but he had me pinned down pretty well.
"I've got you now Neal," he said, "I'll have you forever."
"Yeah right asshole!" I yelled as I pushed him off me with all my
strength. I tried to get up, but I was strapped down to a bed. Bill was
laughing maliciously, and as I looked around, I realized where I was. I was
in my room in my parent's house. My parents and friends were standing over
me crying. He took a match, lit it, and tossed it onto the bed where I was
lying. I caught on fire quickly, and was slowly burning to death, until...
I woke up harshly, in a pool of sweat. Bill was asleep next to me,
and I got out of bed quietly as not to wake him up. I opened my closet,
and picked out my most comfortable outfit. A pair of black jeans, and a
white tee shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror, noticing the deep, blue
circles under my eyes. I haven't slept through the night without having a
nightmare for months. Other than the circles, I wasn't too bad
looking. Short blonde hair parted in the middle, blue-green eyes, two nice,
well-defined pecs, a nice looking six pack, and a golden brown tan. Not too
bad for a nineteen year old.
I needed out of the house for a while. At least a week, to think
about where my life was going. I abandoned everything for Bill. I had a
full academic scholarship at Harvard, a great family, and the best friends
anyone could ever ask for. I loved Bill so much that I would have died for
him, but I don't feel that way anymore. All we seem to do anymore is have
sex, sex, sex. I've known he's only been using me, but I stayed with him
anyway. I met him online when I was sixteen, and within a week, I was lying
in his bed letting him do things to me that I thought I wouldn't let anyone
do. I've wasted three years of my life with someone who only wanted me for
sex. 'Christ,' I thought, 'I've got to get out of here before I go
insane.'
Very quietly, I packed some clothes, and the most important things
that I had with me. I was almost out of the bedroom door when he woke up.
"Where the hell are you going?" he asked angrily.
"I need some space for a while Bill," I said, "I need to sort out
the pieces of my life." I quickly walked out of the room before he could
respond. He grabbed me by the shoulder right before I got to the stairs.
"Look Bill, let me go. I'm not going forever, I just need some time
to think," I said, ready to slug him.
"No one leaves me until I say so," he replied. I was going to push
him off me, but he beat me to it. He pushed me so hard that I lost my
balance and fell backward, and then down the steps.
"Oh God!" he screamed, "Neal are you all right? I'm so sorry."
"Yeah," I said, trying to keep my composure, "I'm fine."
"Can we talk about this?"
"Yeah," I replied, "But can you take a walk for a little while? I
need a few minutes to think first."
"Sure. Promise you won't leave?"
"Yeah," I said, mustering a fake smile.
"Ok."
When I was sure he was gone, I ran up to our room, and packed
everything that I owned. I ran downstairs to my car and threw the bags in
the back. I realized that I forgot my keys, and ran back inside to get
them. They weren't where I left them last night. The motherfucker had taken
them with him when he went out. 'Good thing he doesn't know about my spare
set,' I thought to myself. I went and got them, but before I left, I
decided that he needed to be taught a lesson. I have a very short fuse, and
I don't take being hit very well. I went to the cabinet where he kept all
the video tapes he took of us. As I piled them onto the bed, I noticed the
date on one of them. August 15, 1997. 'Oh my God,' I thought, 'He even
taped us back then ' I put the tape in my pocket, and walked to the
bathroom. In the cabinet I found a bottle of rubbing alcohol. I dumped the
bottle onto the tapes, and the bed and set them on fire.
As I was pulling out of the driveway, he jumped out behind the car.
"STOP!" he yelled. I kept going. If I mowed this bastard down, all
the better. He got out of the way, and walked to the window.
"You'll pay for this!" he said.
"Yeah, see I don't see it that way. Remember this?" I showed him
the tape, and all the color rushed out of his face. "The rest of your
tapes are on your bed. Don't ever try to find me. Oh and one more thing."
"What?"
"Your house, your house, your house is on fire!!" His head snapped
around and he screamed in terror at what he saw. The little fire I started
had spread quickly. I could only laugh at his misfortune. I sped away,
pleased with what I had done.
Now came the hard part. What was I going to do now? I was in the
middle of Nowheresville Missouri, and I had a choice to make. I could go to
Florida, to my sisters, to chill for a while, or I could go straight home
and clean up the mess I made. I chose the first one. I figured that if I
was going to set things straight, I needed some advice. Plus, I hadn't
seen my sisters or nephew for two years. Little did I know that that choice
would change my life forever.
*****
I arrived at my sister's house at three o'clock in the afternoon a
few days later. No cars were in the driveway, and no one answered the
door, so I figured I'd find a grocery store in the area and pick up some
things for my sister. I drove around for a while and found a huge Giant. I
went in and got a cart, and started browsing around. I figured I'd make
her dinner, so she wouldn't have to worry about it. I got everything I
needed to make Fettucini Alfredo, except for the pasta. I walked to the
pasta aisle, and noticed a young man, about 16, holding an older man's
hand. I thought at first they were father and son, but I could tell by the
way that they were looking at each other that there was more to the story.
I started to remember all the times Bill and I had, and how much I
had loved him. What hurt the most was that I thought he loved me too. I
felt like I was about to throw up, so I ran for the bathroom. After I was
done puking, I sat down outside the bathroom on a stool, and cried. I was
crying for about three minutes when I realized that people were staring at
me. I quickly ran and grabbed the pasta, and got in line at the cashier. I
hurried out of there, and got into my car.
When I pulled into the driveway, I noticed a car in the
driveway. 'Good,' I thought, 'I won't have to wait on the front porch. I
walked up to the door, and knocked loudly. The door opened, and I could not
believe who I was looking at.
"Can I help you?" the young blonde asked. What the hell was going
on here? I figured that I was in the twilight zone or something. This
really didn't seem possible. I was staring into the eyes of Justin
Timberlake.
"I... I'm sorry, I must have the wrong house. Does a woman named
Kerrie live here?" I managed to stutter out.
"Yeah, but she's not here right now."
"Oh, well what about her husband?"
"No, he's not here either. In fact he... well I'll let her tell
you."
"Do you know what time she'll be getting back?" I asked.
"Yeah, she should be getting off work soon. Can I ask who you are?"
"Yeah, my name's Neal. I'm Kerrie's..."
"Brother!" he cut me off.
"Yeah, what does she still talk about me?" I asked sort of amazed.
"Yeah she does!" he screamed, pulling me into a hug. I almost
fainted.
"I've heard so much about you! Come in please!" he said, ushering
me in. "My name's Justin."
"I know," I replied, "It's not like I live in a hut without TV or a
radio. How did you meet my sister?"
"Well, it happened..."
"Justin? Who's car is parked in the driveway?" a young woman called
out.
"Just mine," I replied loudly.
"Who are... NEAL!" she screamed as she walked into the room. "Oh
God where the fuck have you been? I've been worried sick. You little
bastard where the hell have you been?" she asked. She hugged me, and I
could feel her tears. She was soaking my shirt.
"We'll get to all that later. Right now I need help," I said.
"Oh God you're not in some kind of trouble are you?" she asked.
"Well, kind of. I really can't get all the groceries out of my car
by myself. I'm not strong enough." I said grinning.
"You little asshole. I've missed you," she said hugging me again.
"Justin could you help me get the stuff out of my car?" I asked.
"Sure thing, bro." he replied.
"What are you two married already or something?" I said
laughing. Justin started laughing too, but I saw something in Kerrie that I
hadn't seen before. Something hurt when I said married.
Justin and I walked outside to the car to get the groceries. Before
Justin took the bags in, I stopped him.
"Hold up a sec Just, I need to talk to you."
"What about?" he asked, sounding puzzled.
"What exactly are your intentions with my sister? She is... or
maybe was married there for at least 4 years. I'm not sure what's going on
here, but I just wanna make sure that whatever you are doing here, you're
not gonna hurt her."
"Of course not," he said, sounding a little hurt. "I would never
hurt her. She's a great person."
"Good, then I'm cool. Let's get these bags in."
When we got back into the house, Kerrie had a devilish grin on her
face.
"What's up now?" I asked.
"We're going to pick up Ann. She doesn't know that you're
back. We're going to surprise her."
"Great. This'll give me a chance to talk to you."
"I need to be going too." Justin said, "Are we still on for tonight
Kerrie?"
"Yeah, if you wanna go Neal."
"Where are you two going?"
"Our concert. You want a ticket?"
"Sure," I replied. I had always wanted to go to a N'sync concert,
but I never got the guts up to go alone. This gave me an excuse. "Is Ann
going too?"
"Yeah that's why I'm picking her up. Or so she thinks." She flashed
me another evil grin. "Lets get going."
*****
During the first five minutes of the car ride, we talked about the
weather, and how her job was going. I figured she wanted to ask me where I
had been, but knew that I didn't wanna tell it twice.
So I asked the big question on my mind. "What happened to Johnny?"
"He left me for Kira." Kira was a friend of Ann's, a major slut. I
knew something that Kerrie didn't know about Johnny and Kira, but I figured
it wasn't going to do any good now, though it may have when it happened. It
could have spared her from four years of pain. The night before Kerrie and
Johnny got married, he slept with Kira. Oh well, she's better off without
him.
"God Kerbear, I'm so sorry. How are you handling it?"
"Oh God, perfectly fine. I don't need him. I can raise my child
just fine without him. He's an asshole."
"I'm glad to hear you're not upset," I said, genuinely relieved,
"So is Blondie a new love interest? What's that all about?"
"Oh no, we're just friends. He's just too young for me."
"That's insane. You're only 5 years older. I still know you, even
though I haven't seen you for a while. You really like him but are afraid
of what will happen. Especially since he's a big ass star. You two would
be so cute together and if you don't nab him soon, you know I will!" I said
smiling and trying to keep a straight face.
"Yeah yeah, I know. I'll hurry up then." she replied half-heatedly.
"Where's Bailey, by the way?" I asked, suddenly realizing that I
hadn't seen Bailey yet.
"Oh, he's with a friend for a few days. I'm picking him up in two
days." she replied absentmindedly. I could tell that she was thinking
about something else.
"Oh, ok I just wanna see my little nephew."
When we arrived at Ann's house, I waited in the car. I wanted to
surprise her, so I sunk myself down in the back seat and put a cover over
me. After Kerrie got on the freeway, I popped up from behind the seat.
"Hey, hope you don't mind. I needed a ride."
"AHHHH!!! WHO THE FUCK... Neal? Holy shit, Neal! Where the fuck did
you come from? Oh I was so worried you little shithead!" Ann screamed at
me.
"You know me, I pop in and out of everyone's life."
"Well, why don't you fill us in on why you popped out of school,
home, and family? I'm dying to know." Ann said sarcastically.
"Well sis, it goes like this..." I told them both the whole story.
"Are you a fucking idiot? A fucking forty-year-old man. Are you
stupid or something? Take the son of a bitch to court. Press charges. You
have proof. You can send him away." Kerrie said, not hiding her irritation
and rage.
"No, I wanna use this as a fallback in case he presses charges
against me for burning his FUCKING HOUSE DOWN!" I screamed laughing. Kerrie
and Ann started laughing too.
"You've got an interesting sense of revenge, kiddo. The best I
could have thought of would have been to mow him over." Ann said laughing.
"Well, I almost did!" We all started laughing again. I was so
relieved that they weren't too overly judgmental of me. It felt good to be
back around people who cared about me. The ride back lasted a lot shorter
than the ride up. I think it was because we were laughing at everything
wrong in our lives, and we were pushing 90 mph. I was finally happy.
*****
Right around the corner from the house was a liquor store. We
decided to drop in and get some provisions for tonight.
"I am psyched to go to the concert." I said, looking at the
hundreds bottles of alcohol.
"Me too. Hey what about margaritas, daiquiris, and lots of Jack
Daniels and some beer?" Kerrie asked.
"Doesn't go too well together, but sounds good to me." I said.
"Like you'll be drinking any of it kiddo," Ann said, "Two more
years."
"Yeah whatever."
We got back to the house at about 5:30. The concert started at
7:30, and we had to leave at 7. We had front row tickets waiting at the
concert hall. We had an hour and a half, so I decided that I would take an
hour nap. I was tired as hell. Unfortunately, I really didn't sleep that
well.
I was running down the hall again, and the man in black was chasing
me. This time I decided not to run away. I turned around to face him.
"Fuck you." I said as he got close. He stopped running and removed
the hood of the trench coat. It was Bill again. I closed my eyes, trying
to wake up, and when I opened them again, he had a knife to a man's
throat. I couldn't see the man's face, but Bill was smiling evilly, and not
even looking at me. Then I realized whom he was holding. It was me. He
sliced my throat from ear to ear, laughing maliciously all the while.
And again I was lying in a pool of sweat.
'Jesus, will I ever get any real sleep?' I thought. I looked at the
clock. It was 6:15. I decided to get ready now, so we can be sure to get
there on time. I hopped in the shower, and put on my best looking
clothes. I galloped downstairs, and could hear my sister's shower
going. Ann was sitting on the couch, watching MTV.
"How you doing Annie?"
"I'm doin' pretty good, much better now that I know you're all
right."
"Well, I'm not going to be stupid again. Don't worry. I'm here to
stay."
"What are you going to do about college? You're too smart to just
waste away here."
"No, I'm not. I can go to college down here, get a job, and settle
in. I can never go back home. You know that. They all hate me for what I
am, and you know that I won't get any financial support. Can we not talk
about this now? I really just wanna relax before the concert."
"Yeah sure. Lay down, you look terribly tense." One thing I missed
a whole lot was back-rubs. My sister was so good at it. I just relaxed, and
let her try to rub my worries away.
I must have fallen asleep, because before I knew it, I was getting
woken up to go.
"Let's get a move on here sleepy. We don't wanna be late, do we?"
"Nope," I said rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Can I get a drink
for the road?"
"Sure, we've got water and Pepsi." my sister said with a smile,
knowing what I was really asking for. I went into the kitchen and checked
to make sure my sister's weren't watching. I got the bottle of Jack
Daniels, poured myself a shot, and downed it just as quickly. I grabbed a
cup, dumped a beer into it, and ran out the door. Ann and Kerrie already
had the car started, and were looking at me as if I made them late for the
most important event of their lives. For all I knew, it could be true.
*****
Thanks to my speed demon sister, we got to the concert 30 minutes
early. We went to the booth and got our tickets, and found our seats. When
we got into the concert hall, it was like we were the last ones there. It
seemed like all of Florida came to this concert. Our chairs were the only
ones not occupied. We were right in the front row. It was perfect.
After about five minutes, the lights dimmed, and the music
started. About halfway into the concert, the guys took a short
intermission. "We can go back there if we want, Justin said that he would
let the bodyguard know." Kerrie said.
"Yeah! Let's go!" Ann and I replied simultaneously.
"Wow, the super twins strike again. Let's go." Kerrie said with a
sigh.
"What's wrong? Not in the mood to see lover boy?" I asked.
"I guess. It's just every time I see him I wanna..."
"Rip his clothes off and mount him?" I interrupted.
"Yeah, exactly!" she said with a smile.
"Don't worry, I'll restrain you." I said, putting my arm around
her.
"Yeah, but who's gonna restrain you?" Annie said, punching me in
the arm.
"Funny!"
We walked back, and got passed the guard with little trouble. We
walked up to the dressing room door, and I started to get a sick feeling in
the pit of my stomach.
"Ohhh, I'm nervous." I said.
"No reason to be, they are all really nice guys. There shouldn't be
anything to worry about."
"I hope so." I opened the door very slowly. I almost passed out as
we walked in. I think Ann and Kerrie almost did too.
Justin had his shirt off, changing clothes. He had the body of a
god. If the bottom half of him looked as good... No, I can't think about
that, Kerrie's in love with him.
"Hey, guys what's up?" Kerrie asked, once she recovered from seeing
Justin.
"Hey Kerbear, what's up? Who's your friend? A new love interest?"
Joey asked.
"Not quite," I said, "I think that's illegal in a whole lot of
states. I'm Kerrie's brother..." I got cut off again, this time by Chris.
"Neal!"
"Yep, that's my name. Does everyone know it?" I asked smiling,
"How u guys doing? Having fun?"
"Yeah right," Lance said tiredly, "I could use about six hours of
sleep right now."
"Well..." Again, cut off. The door behind me opened, knocking me to
the floor. Everyone was laughing their ass off.
"Oh god, I'm sorry," the person who knocked me over said.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah," I said getting up. When I turned around, I was very pleased
at what I saw.
I was looking into the eyes of the person I've had a huge crush on
for the past year. "Sorry about that." JC said.
"I'll recover." I managed to choke out. Again I was hit by the
door, but this time I had enough sense to grab onto something.
"Five minutes until you guys are back on, ok?" The guys all groaned
loudly. "Good," the man at the door said as he was leaving.
"I guess we should let you finish, see you all later," Kerrie said,
as she pulled me out of the dressing room.
"What was that all about?" Kerrie asked me after we left the
dressing room. "Could you drool any more?"
"Huh?" I asked, kind of disoriented. I was still recovering.
"Well, be careful, he's taken." My heart sank.
"By who?"
"I'll tell you later, it's starting again."
After the concert, Kerrie and Annie went backstage to say bye to
the guys, and I went out to the car. I didn't feel much like talking. I
always knew that I never had a chance with JC, but I thought that since
everything had been going so good in my life that I was on a roll. Fate
gets its way, though. I knew I had to accept it. Though I didn't see any
harm in trying.
We went home, and didn't say too much to each other, we were pretty
tired. We dropped Annie off at her apartment, and started back for
home. Maybe if I hadn't been dosing off I would have seen the headlights in
time to warn Annie.