Should we take away something? Because she's three, does she really have anything of value?

To her, yes. This use to work fantastic on my daughter at that age.

<Kid situation>Me: You better stop what you're doing or I'm going to put one of your toys in time out.Kid: What are you gonna take?Me: What do you think I'm gonna take?Kid: (GASP) Not my Shamu!?!Me: Oh, you bet it's your Shamu.</Kid situation>

fo_sho!:jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

On a bad day - that;s about par for the course with a 2 year old. That's the age when they can ask you for things, and you can tell them things, and they are learning what the word "no" means. As in - does no mean no or can I change that by crying.

It gets better around 3 1/2 because then they understand when you really mean it, and also you can threaten and bribe them and they will understand it.

/ Has 6 year old and 3 year old twins.

Twins that are 6 and 3? Aw, jeeze and mom said 9 hours of labor was bad.

spiderpaz:Oh look: a bunch of degenerates on fark - who have never raised children because they are too cynical or selfish or damaged (or D, all of the above) - commenting on child rearing, and being complete self-obsessed douche bags about it. I.AM.Shocked!

Heh. That kind of post is more effective if you get it in before the first hundred. It also helps if you have, you know, read the thread too.

How about this no. I will piss biatch and moan about your undisciplined uneducated, unintelligent, ugly little bastards until they grow up and are old enough to suck my cock. Then I will spank one out to their nasty girls gone wild pictures and videos they post to Reddit or Facebook.

Egoy3k:9. What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we? We can't spank them because you childless hippie liberals have taken that away from us.

Louisiana_Sitar_Club:Should we take away something? Because she's three, does she really have anything of value?

To her, yes. This use to work fantastic on my daughter at that age.

<Kid situation>Me: You better stop what you're doing or I'm going to put one of your toys in time out.Kid: What are you gonna take?Me: What do you think I'm gonna take?Kid: (GASP) Not my Shamu!?!Me: Oh, you bet it's your Shamu.</Kid situation>

Okay that gave me the giggles. I read the "Me" part in Bender's voice.

FTFA: 2.Control Your Children in Restaurants - Look, if you see a kid at a restaurant, more times than not, it's because you've chosen to go to a "family" restaurant, and "family" often means loud-mouthed litte (sic) brats.

9.What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we?

Can't wait to see how her lil snowflakes turn out. Mom sure seems precious and unique herself.The whole thing is amusing angry fail, "Area Mom Gets Angry At Everyone" Onion kind of stuff... one can only wonder whether 1) she's a single parent or 2) the husband is glad she has time to froth and foam on the computer so he can get some time to himself.

I just came here to say I don't mind when people post pictures of their kids, pets, meals, drinks on Facebook. The only thing I really don't like is the forwarded chain letters of the "Like this or else it means you hate Jesus!!!!" ilk.

On the subject of parents vs. child-free, however: As a child-free person I think I should be able to call in sick with a hangover as many times as parents call in sick to take care of a child. In an overpopulated world, having a kid is not morally superior to remaining childless and enjoying your freedom. One should not be privileged over the other.

I agree with the overall sentiment of the article, but there were a lot of clues that tell me the author is a biatch. I have two kids, 7 and 4. I have never allowed them to make a mess at a restaurant, no matter how big of a tip I plan to leave. From day one I made a show of staying tidy and if the kids dropped anything they were corrected and assisted in cleaning up after themselves. When they were old enough, I explained how rude it is to leave a mess. The youngest has had noisy meltdowns and one of us takes him to the car until he's calm. You need to teach your kids not to be rude little dicks lest they end up biatching about breeders on Fark or writing shiatty blogs.

THX 1138:Surpheon: people who nostalgically (from a white, upper middle class upbringing) view the 60's as being like Leave it to Beaver.

I have absolutely no clue where he nostalgically reminisced about the '60s as being like Leave it to Beaver, but it must be there somewhere if you're making it such a main part of your argument.

Surpheonis not making it a main part of the argument, but a simile to explain the meta-concept. I shall attempt to clarify, since it is already fairly obvious.

Umad is taking a fairly unrelated topic and cramming his "I hate gubbmint" dick in the mashed potatoes, in this case by claiming "I was raised just fine without all that there dangol' Gubbmint Intervention and Welfare State Spendin'! I'm an island! Why ain't you Welfare Queens islands?"

Doing the MATH, that means umad must have been a child of the 50s or 60s and pretty much and adult by 1972. Doing the social studies, that meanshe (she?) has the rose-tinted viewpoint that life back in ye olden days of 1950-1969 was just fine for everyone. It is a viewpoint that is delusional and a trope best exemplified by Leave it to Beaver and the false nostalgia associated with Leave it to Beaver.

Or to put it really simply; nostalgia is bullshiat, before welfare programs children died or grew up criminals a lot more.

Though oddly enough they spent less time in prison, because we didn't have all those non-violent drug offenders doing lifetime sentences.

Louisiana_Sitar_Club:Should we take away something? Because she's three, does she really have anything of value?

To her, yes. This use to work fantastic on my daughter at that age.

<Kid situation>Me: You better stop what you're doing or I'm going to put one of your toys in time out.Kid: What are you gonna take?Me: What do you think I'm gonna take?Kid: (GASP) Not my Shamu!?!Me: Oh, you bet it's your Shamu.</Kid situation>

Yugoboy:As a childless-but-married-for-20+-years person, I read the entire article straining in vain to find a single point which applied to me.

I don't do the annoying Facebook thing... I don't do Facebook....If your choice inconveniences others beyond reasonable tolerance levels (ask a stranger if you can't figure it out on your own) don't be surprised when someone offers you advice on how to minimize being an asshole. The manner of their expression is probably related to how big an asshole you are being.

FTFA:"How would you feel, you childless heathens, if we were to label all the non-breeders the same? Let's find out."

Gee Yugoboy, why do you think you couldn't find a single point that applied to you? I don't want you to strain too hard, as your sage offering of advice makes pretty clear the thesis of the article is well beyond your comprehension even though it was explicitly stated at the start.

chewd:10. fark you... ever worked a 40+ hour shift? Ever worked more than 360 days in a single year? I've done both... to cover up for busy parents who didnt have time to show up for their farking job.

Meh She has some valid points..especially about the resturant thing. I take my kid out so I dont have to cook and clean. Also if you choose to eat at a "Family" dining establishment why are you judging parents who bring their families you non-breeding hipster douchnozzles.

Seems like the childless ones are out in force in this thread, but it is FARK so you know you have to move out of your mom's basement to have kids

CrazyCracka420:Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

FTA: "6. I Get Irritated When Parents Blabber on about Being So Busy - Oh, honey. We're not that busy. When you manage to fold in taking care of a child into your full time job, we parents become excellent time managers. I manage three kids, writing for two sites, consume 30-40 hours of media each week, and still find time to hang out with friends. If we are "too busy" to hang out, it just means that we think that changing diapers and reading Where the Wild Things Are is more fun than hanging out with you."

Ignoring the subject matter, that is a very poorly written piece. She changes back and forth in person and voice, and the only organization apparent is in the numbering on the list. I would not give this a passing grade as a high school essay, let alone publish it.

servlet:Congratulations, you've mastered one of the most basic biological processes. Pardon me while I stop the world to celebrate how amazing you are because you figured out how to procreate.

I mean, I like kids and all, but can we seriously stop this ridiculous sense of superiority that some (admittedly not most) parents have just because they worked out how to produce offspring?

Hey now, it's not just the ability to procreate they are celebrating, it's the obvious fact that they've gotten their shiat together to support the kid. The ability to get up in the morning on time, the ability to keep a steady job, the ability to stay sober and clean, the ability to (most likely) live in a real home, have a car, you know all the adult stuff that YOU should've been doing by now but you're still sitting in your underwear eating nachos and playing XBOX in your 30s nursing a hangover on a Tuesday night, you disappointing non-breeding slacker, you.

BTW please check out the new FB album of me and the kids making goofy faces, again. We're having so much fun, please click Like whenever you get a tiny moment in your care free and responsibility free life to do so.

Guairdean:jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

The answer is simple. Put him in a corner on a stool and let him cry. If he's still crying when he stands up, swat him and put him back on the stool. If he turns around and he's still crying, swat him and turn him to the corner. It won't take him long to learn.

At this age (2-3) that is not appropriate. That is frank emotional abuse and should be avoided as a parenting technic. You need to wait until the child is capable of reasonably and clearly expressing himself, and can carry on a meaningful conversation about the topic at hand- usually that's 4 or 5 years old. At that point is is appropriate to be corrective; younger than that and it's abusive.

The One True TheDavid:On a planet with 7+ billion humans eating, chopping, burning, digging, killing and polluting the shiat out of everything, far more people need to Just. Stop. Breeding. Just say NO to reproduction. What are the chances YOUR genes are so much more wonderful than a few dozen million people Just Like You? Do you really need that second kid, and did you really need the first?

And hey, if you can't figure out how to avoid causing childbirth you should be sterilized by force: it's possible for stupid parents to have & raise nonstupid kids but you'd have a better chance on a trifecta at the Derby.

If you think that's harsh, here's another: people who've never seriously considered suicide are just too thick to be worth much. But more on that later.

Remember Family is three, Mom, Dad and me. Report Breeder offenders to the population police.

1. Kid running all over the place.....unmonitored in store...2. Casually walk by and stick out your foot.3. Kid Faceplants and is in TEARS, usually screaming "MOMMY!!!!!!"4. Quickly exit area, walk to other isle and continue shopping.5. PROFIT

kumanoki:Girls seem to be much more well-behaved than boys, for some reason.

Thats because boys turn into spastic assholes from the age of 4 to 16 when they start to mellow out. Girls on the other start off sane and get crazier and crazier as the years go by until they hit critical mass at 16.

servlet:Congratulations, you've mastered one of the most basic biological processes. Pardon me while I stop the world to celebrate how amazing you are because you figured out how to procreate.

I mean, I like kids and all, but can we seriously stop this ridiculous sense of superiority that some (admittedly not most) parents have just because they worked out how to produce offspring?

I have figured out how to do it. I also figured out how to avoid procreating while 'practicing'.

This whole article smacks of a woman who had kids too early and is pissed off that her friends got to enjoy their 20's while she was pregnant and could not. One of the things I have noticed with my friends is that the ones who got married younger and had kids right away after getting married are the ones like this woman, who complain about the single friends, or childless couples. While two friends who got married in their early 30's and waited a couple years to have kids were able to adjust much faster because they were established in their lives and careers.

Also, the ones that got married early are significantly more likely to post inane pictures of their kids eating food, playing with the dogs or sleeping. Those pictures usually get a response from my wife with another vacation photo from France, Germany or Egypt.

Coco LaFemme:When my sister and I were real little, if either of us acted out of turn in public, my parents would yank our butts out of wherever we were and we'd go straight home. It only happened to me twice that I can remember, and I'm sure if I ask my mom, she'll say it was a lot more than that. They never hit us, or even spanked us, never yelled and screamed at us, but we knew - if they take us out somewhere, anywhere....and they tell us to mind our manners, be quiet, sit still, any of that....we had better do it, no questions asked.

Hee hee. I do a variation of that sometimes. If we're in a store that I hate, like Walmart (yes, I know all about Walmart, my wife doesnt. care. one. bit.) and the kid starts misbehaving I'll pull out the, "If you don't start behaving we'll go sit in the car and wait for Mom to finish shopping."

I can't lose with that one. I'll either have a well-behaved kid or I get to go play Temple Run 2 in the car instead of wander aimlessly through a retail wasteland like some pack mule of woe.

towatchoverme:And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.

Dogs pretty much stay cute and entertaining until they're dead. They're constantly doing stupid or ridiculous things. And when they fark up, you can biatch about it and not offend anyone because they're not human beings. The charm of kids wears off after the first week, and you have to be very careful when biatching about your kid or you will be judged severely.

My kid is 9 and autistic and I still find it hilariously entertaining when he does something new. It's like watching a 2 year old say "ooooooh bad daddy" for the first time, except he'll be 9 and slur the hell out of it. But he tried. And it just comes out really funny. It's like the best of both worlds. Probably just me, though.

towatchoverme:GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.

Easily the best part of the article. Geez ... what is it with dog owners? And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.