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In which i’m a dreamer

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I’m a dreamer. I don’t mean that I sit around and daydream all the time (I do). I mean that I dream a ton at night. Along with all the dreams I have a lot of nightmares. I always have, even as a child.

I actually remember two nightmares from when I was 4 years old. How do I know that I was 4? Because they happened in the “old house” that I grew up in and we moved to our “new house” when I was 5.

In the first one, I was walking in the woods to a neighbor’s house and bats attacked me. In the second one I was at a zoo and there were lots of snakes (I hate snakes) and they were writhing and curling around all the bars. I wish I could forget these two but they’ve stuck with me for almost 50 years.

When I used to wake up with nightmares I’d be panicked. We lived in the woods and I could see the silhouettes of trees through the blinds and I would be petrified. Eventually I’d go into my parent’s room and they’d send me back to bed. If I still was a mess I’d go back in and one of them would go to my room and I’d sleep in their bed.

I used to dream so much that when I was in college and taking a class called “Personality Theory” one of my projects was to keep a “dream” journal. I still have it and there are sometimes four or five dreams written down there in a single night. It’s ridiculous.

The point is that I dream a lot and I still have nightmares. I occasionally wake up screaming and Kevin has to calm me down. Last night I had a nightmare and I woke up screaming “No” and amazingly enough Kevin didn’t wake up. I had yelled so loud that it took me a long time to fall back asleep.

This one was about my mom. My mom has been dead almost 16 years and I still have dreams that I can’t find her or in this case, that she needs me and I can’t get to her. I hate that. Interestingly enough, I rarely have dreams where I can’t get to my dad who has been gone 14 years. It’s weird because I was, in fact, a daddy’s girl.

The dreams that involve him are screwier than that.

At any rate, I had a huge nightmare last night and when I wake up from them I attempt to analyze what they mean. That way, they don’t scare me so much. If I had to hazard a guess I’d say that this dream is because Keely is about to move 3000 miles away from me and I’m worried about the separation.

Not because I don’t think she’ll thrive, I know she will. Probably because I still worry about her medically and it’s not like I can be there in a second if there’s a problem.

Do you guys dream? I love dreams. Did you know the single most common dream is that you’re in High School or College and there’s one course you need to pass to graduate and it turns out you’ve never been to the class or thought you dropped it or something? But you still have to take the exam???

It’s true. The other most common dream is either having something in your mouth (for me it’s usually gum) so you can’t express yourself. Either that or being stuck and not being able to get to someone or something. Those are dreams of frustration.