Freshman Raises Hand To Be Excused To Restroom

This morning in Introduction to Psychology, Jones College Freshman Simone Johnson raised her hand and asked to be excused to the restroom.

“We’re in college now, and first impressions are key,” Johnson said. “I didn’t want to be rude by just getting up and walking out. The professor would definitely remember if I did that, and then he’d probably give me a terrible grade, like a B+.”

Johnson explained that she also wanted her peers to know where she was going.

“I get offended when people leave class without asking,” Johnson said. “Like, don’t you care about what the professor is saying? What else could you possibly be doing that’s more important than paying attention? I don’t blow off a single minute of my overenrolled lecture classes, and I don’t want my friends to think I’m that kind of person, since I’m not.”

PSYCH 101 professor Anthony Vasquez said he was thrilled by the request.

“I’m just so glad a freshman asked a question,” Professor Vasquez said. “They usually don’t do that, especially not in large classes that cover relatively simple material.”

Brown College Sophomore Joshua Reynolds, who had been sitting next to Johnson, said he was annoyed by the request.

“She woke me up from a really great nap,” Reynolds said. “I was up all night making fun of freshmen on YikYak, so I really needed my sleep this morning.”