Top 5 Possible New Nicknames for Harrisburg's Mercurial Mayor Thompson

Bill RoddeyPutting Harrisburg Mayor Linda Thompson on The Spot in this blog tirade

Reducing life to top 5 lists makes it seem like you have some control over random fate whip sawing you up and down, back and forth like a doll in a tornado. It can give some meaning to the randomness of fate where one person wakes up in the morning and goes to work, whereas his neighbor wakes up and goes out to his driveway to get in his car to go to work and gets eaten by a bear who's there for some birdseed thrown in the yard by his wife the night before. The first person is joking on his coffee break when he learns that his next door neighbor was just killed by a bear. That is the power and the glory of top 5 lists like who or what's more in charge of Harrisburg now, than Mayor Linda Thompson, after the pending state took over.

Top 5 Others More in Charge of Harrisburg, than Mayor Linda Thompson, since a receivership takeover

1. Any one of the ducks in Italian Lake

2. A street vendor's hot dog

3. The Hamburglar

4. Former Mayor Steve Reed's shadow, ( actually the shadow of what he did as mayor is affecting Harrisburg more than anything or anybody else right now)

5. Day old spit on a mid town sidewalk

Top 5 possible new nicknames for the mercurial Mayor Thompson, as her staff get fired or flee regularly

1. Mayor Thompson submachine gunner

2. The God hit squad leader

3. One more bites the dust Linda

4. Whacky McSacky

5. Tet Offensive Thompson

Top 5 More Ways to Leave Your Lover, not suggested by Paul Simon

1. Leap on the blimp, Shemp

2. All aboard the train, Blane

3. Strap on the skates, Kate ( women leave their lovers too, some running for their lives)

4. Jump on the Pogo Stick, Dick

5. Hop on the cycle, Michael

Top 5 Worst Named Sequels to The Hunger Games' movie

1. The Food Stamp Eligibility Games

2. The Dumpster Diving Competitions

3. Mitt Romney's My Great Great Grandfather Once Starved One Day During the Irish Potato Famine (Presidential race speech reference to make Mitt seem more like the rest of us. )

Related Stories

Featured Story

Get 'Today's Front Page' in your inbox

This newsletter is sent every morning at 6 a.m. and includes the morning's top stories, a full list of obituaries, links to comics and puzzles and the most recent news, sports and entertainment headlines.

optionalCheck here if you do not want to receive additional email offers and information.See our privacy policy

Thank you for signing up for 'Today's Front Page'

To view and subscribe to any of our other newsletters, please click here.