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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Most Expensive Ribbon is Not Always the Nicest

I will bet you my weekend was more interesting than yours. It included the most expensive three feet of ribbon on the planet. Just when we thought Boone had his fill of medical emergencies, that little adventurer proved us otherwise.

Boone is a spry, wee lad these days. He is almost seven weeks post-op, and just this morning, he jumped onto our bed when my alarm clock went off this morning! We have a mighty tall bed, so it is safe to say that he is gettin' his hops back. He independently regained range of motion, but it has been up to us to exercise his muscles. For the last couple of weeks, we have been able to entice him up and down the stairs with four feet of ribbon. Even Amelie has joined the fun. Last weekend, I found the ribbon laying on the floor--chewed up and with three feet of it missing. I searched and searched but couldn't find the missing ribbon. I told Mr. TBS that he had a new hiding place and that we'd probably find ribbon when our next moving day came.

Fast forward to last Friday night. Mr. TBS had just gone to bed, I was watching a video on Hulu, and Boone started hacking up a hair ball. There's no stopping it. You have to let them throw it up. He vomited, took a couple steps, and started again, as they usually do. (Yo, cats. Can you stay in one place, please? Clean up would be a lot easier. Thanks.) This time, whatever was coming up, didn't make a complete exit. I knew not to pull on anything, because it could do more harm than good, so I quickly grabbed scissors and snipped it off.

Guys.

That missing ribbon?

Yeah, it was coming out of his mouth.

Realizing that his new hiding place was actually his stomach, I was overcome with all sorts of parental anxiety. I knew we would have to see a vet in the morning, but I was worried that he might choke on ribbon or that the ribbon would obstruct his intestine. Have you ever Googled "what to do if my cat swallows ribbon?" It might as well have looked up "cough" on WebMD and self-diagnosed an aortic aneurysm. Also, I had no idea that it is common for cats to swallow ribbon, floss, shoelaces, string, and needle and thread. Boone is my sixth cat, and I have never experienced this!

I went to bed at 3:15 a.m. Saturday morning and stayed with Boone all night. He was fine. Playing with toys, chasing Amelie.

As Mr. TBS and I were ten minutes from heading out the door to the animal E.R. later that morning, I made another exciting discovery. The ribbon was now seeing its way out the other end. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. The ribbon was now exiting Boone's tush! What the... It was an interesting morning:

An hour and a half in the animal E.R.

An x-ray of the evidence inhabiting his little tummy.

Sedation of Boone to remove three feet of ribbon... from the rear.

The kind vet who so generously brought the ribbon out to us for Show & Tell.

(Really, you shouldn't have. *gag*)

We're happy he didn't have to go through another surgery, but wow. That stupid three feet of ribbon cost us $350! It just goes to show you that the most expensive ribbon is not always the nicest. I'm sure you can understand why this post does not include any pictures.

Upon leaving, Mr. TBS said to the receptionist, "Well, thank you for your help. Please don't take offense, but I hope we don't have to see you again. We really don't want to make monthly visits to this place." Amen, brutha.

14 comments:

I am so, so glad he's okay. Another common cat "treat"? Carpet fibers- as in the long,thin, tough plastic strips the fuzzy parts are woven through. The vet I used to work for had HER OWN cat in for surgery three times because she just couldn't get enough (and would dig in the corners of closets where she was hidden to harvest more!). Oh, and for the record... it's not just cats. Sloan's been forbidden to touch rope toys since she was a puppy and we had a particularly fun week of following her around with paper towels and latex gloves (under vet supervision- they weren't very long, so not a tangle-worry and she'd been x-rayed to see that they were moving through. Just sometimes she wouldn't be able to quite squeeze out the last bit and end up with a dangler). I'm so, so glad Boone's okay, and that he didn't require surgery for this one. What a hooligan!

And really. WHY can't they stay in one place to puke! The only thing worse than following them around trying to be sure they puke on easily-cleanable surfaces is waking up to find a spot... then finding the next spot... then the next one. Gross.

(Yo, cats. Can you stay in one place, please? Clean up would be a lot easier. Thanks.)

OH MY GOD. I KNOW! And also, my apartment is mostly laminate flooring/tiles... but SOMEHOW, my cat always ends up on the rug/door mat/bath mat/COUCH. I don't get it.I always feel like those sneaky suckers are trying to get back at me for something.

Because you know... all they do is plot all day long about their next plan of attack.

In a Nutshell

Middle child. Working girl-mom of one. Married to my work crush that I swore I'd never date. My spirit animal is a mix of Sara Bareilles, Joanna Gaines, and a cat. A Ravenclaw married to a Gryffindor. Taking forever to finish my MBA, because #Parenting #Adulting #EducationReimbursement. I can go from feeling like a champ to a failure in parenting in three seconds flat, so basically, I'm nailing this first-time mom thing.
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