I was watching a clip of Mardi Gras festivities, when I saw a young woman lift her shirt and bare her breasts for a pair of 25 cent beads. I grew up in New Orleans so I know what men expect at the parades, and what women are willing to do, all in the name of fun and revelry. When I see women lifting their shirt for a pair of beads, I want to throw a blanket over them and give them a quarter so they can go buy their own beads.

I keep wondering why some women think it’s cute or fun to entertain men with their bodies or with sex? When are we going to quit dressing and behaving like sex objects, like we’re a piece of meat on display, and the one with the biggest breasts and best hocks and loins are the ones who get picked. It sickens my heart when I hear of girls, as young as ten, giving boys blow jobs at school in order to be popular and approved. I wonder who taught these girls that they were here to pleasure men? Could there possibly be something wrong with a society that has so much disrespect for women?

I hear talk about how far women have come, and I find myself wondering,”What planet do you live on?” I know that’s the rumor, that we’ve come a long way. After all, we have brilliant women in politics, in the aerospace industry, in the medical industry, and in just about all of the jobs that at one time belonged to men. But, is that all we’re interested in as women? I’m not downplaying the right for women to have a job in a man’s world and earn the same as a man, wear pants, bring home the bacon, and fry it up too. However, how about the self-respect that comes from knowing we belong to ourselves and not to men.

With my eyes wide open I watch how women go about in the world. It’s still basically a man’s world, patriarchy is thriving and in control, and the number of women and young girls who still dress, behave, and talk like they are a sex object is overwhelming. Something is wrong when we live in a world where women, from teenager up, are obsessed with breast augmentation, dressing as skimpy as possible, and giving themselves away for a wink, a smile, a date, a pair of beads, or approval.

Women, including young girls, are being sexually exploited, not only because men exploit us, but also because we think that’s what we’re here for. If we dressed and behaved like the strong, powerful women we are, men would get used to the idea that we’re not here for their entertainment. A couple of years ago, my son and daughter-in-law gave my husband and I a trip to the Pro Football Hall of Fame induction weekend as a wedding gift. It was two days of fun, football, food, drink, and partying. On Sunday afternoon, while at the big tailgate party, the “cheerleaders” showed up. (I have to wonder why people call pro sports semi-nude, sideline sex objects, cheerleaders.) They were dressed in their costumes which included high cut booty shorts and very low-cut bra tops with much of their carefully contoured globes exposed. When they walked into the tent with their girlie calendars for sale, you’d have thought a tidal wave came through the tent and picked up all the men and carried them across the room in one great swoosh. I looked up from eating my food, wondering where all the men were running to. A woman at our table said, “The cheerleaders are here selling their calendars and giving autographs.” I made a remark about the men in the room reminding me of piranhas on a feeding frenzy and one of the women whose husband was first in line to feed said, “Well, these women are beautiful, so of course the men want their autographs.” I almost choked on my food as I replied, “Really? Do you think these men would be on a feeding frenzy if these “beautiful” women came into this tent dressed like the Amish ? Or, is it because these women are proudly showing their tits and ass to pleasure the men?” Well, thankfully, she saw what I was saying and agreed that the men would not have moved an inch.

I get it that men are visual creatures, but when will women get that we’re not here to be ogled by them. What will it take for women to understand that if we stop dressing and behaving like we’re ready to be auctioned off, and start dressing and behaving like the beautiful, powerful, wonderful women that we are, we might get some respect for who we truly are. And who are we? We’re nurturers, we’re goddesses, we’re bright, tender, gentle, loving, comforting, brilliant shining stars. We’re not sex objects. We’re much more than our bodies and we’re not here to compete for men’s attention nor or we here for their entertainment.

Lest you think I”m a prude and against sexuality, I want you to know that I love myself and my sexuality and I totally appreciate men. I love that my husband has the testosterone that gives him the physical strength that he has. I love his male body and the way he smells. I appreciate his love for the mechanics of how the universe works or how a motorcycle engine runs. I enjoy being hugged and held by his strong arms. When he and I have this conversation that I’m writing about, he says, “You’ve got to remember. Men are pigs.” I tell him, “I don’t believe that for one minute. What I do believe is that men and women alike are playing the roles that society have set for us. If the roles were defined differently, we’d maybe act differently.”

I can’t imagine a world without men because we’d be out of balance. So I”m not against men, and in some ways I understand their lewdness and their disrespect towards women. Most men are taught from childhood on, that it’s expected of them to divide and conquer, and that god put women on the planet for their enjoyment. It’s what society believes and we all, men and women, continue to perpetrate the lie.

I feel women are going backwards. There have been pockets of women at different times in our culture who have fought for the right for women to be treated as equals. We’ve made strides in the business world, but to me being equal doesn’t mean I can wear pants, smoke a cigar, play football on a man’s team, or be a CEO of a large corporation, or perhaps even President. Those are all tokens. Being equal means being treated with respect for my personhood, and not being seen as a weaker sex who needs to be conquered. And make no mistake, women are being conquered when we live like we’re here to entertain men. When I see John Boehner, the new speaker of the house, cry all over TV and himself, I can’t help but wonder what men would say if Hillary Clinton did the same. I can assure you that she would be hung out to dry. Why? Because, we’re considered the weaker sex. There is nothing weak about women. We carry babies in our womb, we give birth, we nurse and raise children, and we not only have the ability to run a household as efficiently as CEO’s run corporations, but if given the chance and the support, women could run this country efficiently, lovingly, and peacefully.

If you think women are not considered second class citizens, why do we have to fight for every “right” we get. We’ve had to fight for the right to vote, to own property, to get the same education as men, to speak in churches, and lastly to have a legal abortion if and when it’s necessary. I heard someone say recently, “If men were the ones who got pregnant, the right to have an abortion would be one of the amendments.” Truer words were never spoken.

I’m putting a call out to the women of the world to wake up! Know that you’re valuable and you’re not meant to be defined by men. Find your value within and live from that place of knowing your worth. And to the men, I say, “you’re here to help balance the world and I love you and appreciate you. But, please know that I’m not here to entertain you, rather I’m here to stand by your side as we work together to make this world a safer and a saner place to live. Because I don’t consider you a sexual object and because I respect you, I would never ask you to show me your penis for a pair of beads, so please don’t ask me to show you my tits.” The End.

9 Responses to A Call to Women

Brenda,
A good article and I totally agree with your perspective. As for the why, it seems to be a hidden agenda advanced by the entertainment industry that equates to the way to fame and fortune is to be the most beautiful, well endowed, best dressed tease in the universe. Let’s look at MIley Cyrus for example. Is it her idea to influence young girls to be a slut or is it the people making the money off of her sluttiness. And what age girl is she influencing. If you want your agenda to have the most success, get em while they’re young and easily impressed. What can women do…quit dressing your daughters like they’re for sale. If women are waiting for men to make the first move, you’ll be waiting a long time.

I agree with you Bubbee. I have actually quit using different products and shopping at different places because they use sex (women of course) to sell their product. I’ve boycotted Hardees since they started using sex to sell their burger. I called the main company, talked to the marketing manager and told him why I would no longer buy a burger from Hardee’s. I also did an on-line campaign to alert women to what was going on and asking them to join me in the boycott. I don’t know how many did, but I do know that about a week later there was a poll on Hardee’s website about the offensive commercial, and about a month or so later the commercial vanished. I’ve not seen it since.
Unfortunately, I think you’re right. Women will have to make the first move and the majority are so blind that I don’t see it happening. It’s not just women dressing their daughters like sluts, but I’m aware of how many mothers want to look like their daughters and be sexy.

It’s hard to comment on this because I’m so steeped in this whole topic. I’ve never been beautiful by Madison Avenue standards, but I am beautifully human. I’ve always been a strong, self-contained person. I’ve rallied against woman’s oppression, and so sad that I internalized that oppression and judge myself un-worthy against the ‘goddesses’ of the world. I cringe whenever I see women depicted in art that are ‘perfect’ – especially when the artist is a woman. I know there is the ‘divine proportion’, and that makes one stellar-ly perfect, but to put that forth as the only worthy standard when very few beings match it is a gross injustice.
I can look at advertisements critically now, but I sincerely thought that the women photographed were my age when I was in my twenties and thirties, which made me feel like there was something wrong with me that I was getting fine lines in my face and my body was changing. Those are girls – some as young as ten portraying grown women!
Men have this expectation that women can be perfect now through the miracle of cosmetics and cosmetic surgery, but do they think about the cost? A friend of mine nearly died from complications of breast implants, and another from liposuction. I keep hoping I’ll earn enough money to buy some more time – or at least buy some more ‘ogling insurance’, and yet why do I want a man who only wants a characiture and not a fully-realized woman?
It works both ways as men are portrayed as worthy only when they have Adonis-like bodies, perfect teeth, and unlimited earning power.
Thank you for writing about this topic in depth and so eloquently! Peace ❤

Thanks for your comment. I guess it depends on what a woman is looking for in a man. I wouldn’t trade my beautiful husband who is filled with integrity, calmness, and soul for all the Adonis’s in the world. To me, he is the most handsome man on the earth, and he’s my Adonis because his true self shines through.

Society makes it hard for women to age gracefully because they teach the lie that we have to look young, sexy, and have no gray hair or wrinkles. I bought that lie for too many years and I made a conscious choice to no longer believe it or live by it.

Isn’t it awful how the world uses young people to perpetuate it’s agenda ?

I really like what you have to say. I feel the same way about it. It is really not men*s fault. It is women you sell themselves to the profit of the sex industry. Pornography is also not something “normal”. Erotic is, but nothing which treats women like meat!
The more women succumb to this machinery of “looks, boobs and plastic”, the struggle of the last 150 years was really for nothing. I used to lecture English to female students for a while at the University. I was so shocked. I would say that merely 10% of them were to be taken seriously. The rest were fashion dolls, doing their nails in class room, exposing a brain of the size of a lentil.

I think it is a byproduct of our commercialism. But women do not realize that they are again victimized!

Hi Ginger,
I agree that the problem is partly a byproduct of our commercialism. Pornography is alive and well in the world and the sad part is how few get that fact. It’s just like these young women who are “cheerleaders” for our pro sports teams. Most of them consider it an honor, and haven’t considered that they’re being used for men’s entertainment.
It still amazes me how many conferences I work, like golf shows, motorcycle shows, hunting and fishing shows, where the attendees are primarily men. At every one of these events that I’ve worked, there is always a group of scantily clad young women who have been hired to walk around and entertain the men.
I wonder what it will take to open women’s eyes to what’s happening to our gender.
Thank you for your reply. I checked your blog but it’s in German. I’d love to read your posts. How can I get them in American?

You think so? Last I checked, when bought by the gross they were dirt cheap, but since you probably buy for your float, I’d think you’d know. So, let me know how much they cost so I’ll have an idea of what women are selling themselves out for. Love ya cuz.