February 9, 2017

To do or not to do

Before I start my day of reading blogs and answering emails, I wish to address an issue that has me somewhat confused. On several blogs I follow there has been a running discussion about the progressive left and the regressive left. I did not realize this was a major topic of discussion as I assumed the left was simply the party that wanted the best things for people. Yes I knew there was some disagreement on how to pay for the many programs the people on the left felt were needed, however I did not realize how big a divide the issues have become.

I started noticing this about the time the white supremacist Spencer was punched in the face. The debate was on if the people on the political left should punch people they did not like in the face. I figured this was so simple a question that no one would need a second guess. However there was an outcry with the different sides throwing out terms like SJW and SNOWFLAKE with the occasional NAZI. Now I did not realize how much division the sjw and snowflake labels caused. I have to admit I am some what hazy on just what is a social justice warrior and I have no desire to needlessly harm others if they are in a sensitive or hurt possition. I care about people. Now I will address snowflake more in a minute.

I once was accused of being a sjw and I felt honored. I did not know the term and it took some people I really trust to inform me that the term was not used as a complement but an insult. I wondered why? I thought fighting for others who were maybe disadvantaged and unable to stand up for themselves was an honorable thing. The term brought to my mind some hero trying to make things better, defending the weak and protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves. I guess others felt my idea was simplistic and wrong.

I guess the way people use the term SJW is someone tilting at windmills and creating a problem where one doesn’t exist. I am still not sure as to what a sjw really is. I get the feeling others think sjws inject themselves into areas that they are not needed or wanted, finding a problem where none exist. It seems to comes with the idea that sjws are trying to force a version of restrictive social rules on to everyone even if the others around them don’t wish the restrictions. That seems to me the opposite of what a social justice warrior should be. If this is what is meant then they need to pick a better term to use. They are social rules dictator or socially repressive enforcers. I still have issues with the meanings of these things. I still feel I am what I term a fighter for others and someone who works for and wants a better social structure.

Now the term snowflake is harder for me. I feel in some ways snowflakes have two different categories. The term some people use is a person who is spoiled and want the world to accommodate them unfairly. A person who is unreasonable about insisting only their view of the world is allowed. The other version is a person who is harmed, fragile, needing help, suffering from a past event. I think of snowflakes as the second group. I think of snowflakes as bunnies in a world of bigger predators who will hurt them and they have no defence. I would defend those in the second group. Let me explain why. As some people know I am a survivor of long time abuse. Sexual, physical, emotional. I prefer not to talk about it, I hid it for most of my life until I couldn’t hide it anymore. I am only now learning how to confront it and still dislike talking about it. But if you go back in time on my blog you will find that years ago a psychologist treated me for issues surrounding the abuse , how it was affect my daily life and how I was dealing with it. The psychologist concluded I was a bunny in temperament. In his view I was not able to defend myself and needed others to do that for me. It was weird because I was quite able to defend others and I had no problem using force to protect those who needed protecting. However I never once asked the world to change for me. I never asked for things that triggered me to be taken off the web, banned from the social environment or taken off any media. I have talked before about things that trigger me, a video or show about child abuse will send me into a really bad place where I have to deal with the memories that never seem to quite go away. I have started to read books and been triggered into deep depressions and emotional vortex that try to destroy me. Here is an example. When I first started to read the Harry Potter books I had a horrible time with the beginnings of most of the books. It was triggering to have a small boy unable to defend himself treated that way. Even now it is very upsetting to me. I can’t watch those parts of the movies. I forced myself on first reading the books to quickly get through those pages while making sure to be in a safe space and to have outs around me. I can not reread those pages now that I know what is there and I can’t watch those parts of movies. However I do not expect the books or movies to be changed to take those parts out. I do not want the rest of the world who feel this adds to the richness of the story to have to lose that just for me. In this case the good of the one is not more important than the good of the many. I have a problem, I can find ways to deal with it and I have. I hope I have explained well enough what I mean by snowflake and how I do think we should help people with real problems while asking people who simply want the world to accommodate only them to please let the world live their lives also. If not please tell me and I will try to reword it. Thanks.

I would like to step back and address one thing at this time. There has been much talk of trigger warnings. I think they are both a good thing for some people while at the same time I think they should not be required or mandated. Here is my reasoning. It is nice for me to know if a story I am about to read or watch will show sexual or physical abuse. I can take actions from preparing myself to see it, deal with it, or to avoid the material all together. However just because you get a warning it doesn’t mean you have real understanding of what will be shown or described. Plus if you miss the warning it won’t do you any good anyway. For an example my son had starting to watch a show on the TV. I came into the living room and decided to watch it with him. He never thought it out and I did not know what was coming. The program showed in graphic detail the rape and sexual abuse of a child. They just splashed it out on screen. My son realized I was in the room and tried to get the thing off the TV. He was too late. I was freaking out. I had a heck of a time after. But a lot of people would freak with that type of material thrown at them while they are unprepared. It was what the show people wanted for a response. I just get more affected than others who were not abused would. A warning wouldn’t have done me any good nor did my son know that would be in the show to warn me. So I think these trigger warnings have a place in our society but I don’t think they should be mandatory nor depended on to solve all triggering problems.

Let me sum this long post up by returning to what we started with, the punching of some one based on their ideas. I wouldn’t think this needed debate. The answer is no, you shouldn’t ever punch or use violence against someone for their thoughts or positions. No matter how much you disagree or think what they are endorsing is disgusting as long as it is an idea and not an action you can not, you should not, use force on another person. Yes white supremacist and fascist ideas are repugnant, but as long as they are simply ideas and not actions then no you can’t punch them. Here is why. If I can punch someone or hurt someone who has ideas I dislike and think horrible, that gives others who think what I believe and do is horrible and they dislike it, to punch me. IF a white nationalist can be punched for being that, then they can punch gay or non-white people as they think the same things about them. It simply lets violence loose on everyone and ends all attempts to move the society to a more progressive place. Also it forces others to defend the ones who got punched and I hate to have to defend a racist bigot.

Thank you. Hugs

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Right on the money, on all counts. My best friend has a big problem with the idea of ‘trigger warnings.’ I got so upset and incoherent when trying to explain why they aren’t for everyone, but for those that do need them they are VITAL. I also agree they shouldn’t be mandated, and I said so. I do think some people are able to brush off the abuse the have received and not be triggered – or be able to overcome that reaction. And some can not. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human just as much as those who can shut down the reaction.
And while I did quite enjoy looking at the Nazi punch, I didn’t share it as it is, indeed, wrong. We shouldn’t have to sink to that level to be heard.

May be a bit off topic, but, regarding triggers, there’s no group of people who are SO easily triggered by the tiniest things than tRump supporters and tRump himself. So, for the benefit of the frail tRumpites, I implore SNL to please, please issue a trigger warning to them prior to showing Alec Baldwin mock their lord and savior, ‘Lil Donny tRump on your show. They’re very, very sensitive snowflakes. Poor babies. Thank you, and please, continue to fight, resist, and obstruct the vileness of tRump every chance you get. $Amen$ (Sorry for the rant).

I am a 54 year old gay man who has been very lucky in life. Life is an adventure and I live it that way. I am in a long term married relationship with a wonderful man I adore. This is our 27th plus year together.

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