What Guys Really Notice About Your Looks

Trust us, men aren't paying attention

By
Kari Molvar

Oct 05, 2009

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When you have an annoying breakout on your chin or you've forgotten to touch up your roots, you might think it's all your guy is looking at. Well, relax. "Most men aren't picking up on the things we assume they're staring at," says renowned biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Why We Love. The reason, she says, has a lot to do with evolution. "In general, men are wired to notice obvious signs that convey interest in mating — a warm smile, for example — and ignore other subtleties, like if your lipstick is faded," she explains. We asked Fisher to illuminate us more on her fascinating research.

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He won't notice...

If your hairstyle is a little messy.

He will notice...

If your hair condition isn't great.

Fisher explains: "Men couldn't care less if your strands are perfectly styled and neat. In fact, he might like you more with some wildness or bedhead, since it shows you're carefree and relaxed. But he will notice if your hair looks or feels very dry, brittle, or damaged, which are signs of poor health. On a subconscious level, men seek out partners who possess healthy physical attributes."

Fisher explains: "A little natural oil on your face is nothing to get worked up about. Let it go. The thing you do want to tend to is irritation. When your skin is inflamed or puffy, it indicates stress — it's a physical manifestation of some kind of reaction or allergy."

If you have a lot of redness, get it checked out by a derm. You can also switch to gentler hypoallergenic or mineral makeup.

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He won't notice...

Minor roots.

He will notice...

A major haircut.

Fisher explains: "Men typically pay attention to only big shifts in your overall style — like getting bangs or a short bob. He might be wondering, Her look has changed; does she want me to change in some way too? Having roots, on the other hand, doesn't really mean anything to guys — it's neither positive nor negative, and it has no larger significance to them."

If you have to go a few weeks longer than usual between touch-ups, don't worry. It'll keep your hair healthier in the long run, and you can just wash with a color-protective shampoo to max out your shade for more time.

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He won't notice...

Split ends you ignore.

He will notice...

Split ends you pick at.

Fisher explains: "I guarantee a man doesn't even know what split ends are or how they look unless you specifically bring them to his attention. He's just into overall healthy, shiny, and soft strands; a minor detail, like a few split ends, won't even register."

To prevent yourself from fussing with splits, comb through a nourishing serum to smooth ragged pieces, and sweep hair into a pony.

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He won't notice...

If you skip a teeth-whitening treatment.

He will notice...

If you're not smiling.

Fisher explains: "Men are very attuned to signals that suggest you're interested in them, like a friendly smile or grin. The exact shade of your teeth, however, has less significance, especially if you're already showing you're engaged when talking to them."

Obviously, you want to keep your teeth in good condition, but you don't need to achieve a blinding-white color. Just stick with a daily whitening toothpaste, and do a bleaching treatment every six months.

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He won't notice...

If you forget to wear lipstick.

He will notice...

If you wear too much lipstick.

Fisher explains: "Overdone lipstick is a deterrent to men. It rubs off easily onto their skin and the edges of their shirts, so it discourages them from kissing, touching, and coming closer to you, which is what they really want to do!" One trick to make sure you don't lay it on too thick: Apply a tinted lip balm or sheer lipstick that goes on with less pigment so you get a soft stain every time. You also can blot your lips with a tissue to tone down heavy lipstick.

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He won't notice...

If you're naturally a tad pale.

He will notice...

If you're way too tan.

Fisher explains: "Natural beauty really entices men. They will tell you this time and time again, and studies consistently prove it. So if your skin usually lightens slightly on its own in the winter, this won't turn him off. But overcompensating with too much bronzer will. Guys view that effect as fake, and that makes you far less appealing."

Not that you want to look ghostly though. If you feel really washed out, swap your regular moisturizer for a gradual self-tanner, and dust on a powerball highlighter (like Guerlain Météorites in Mythic, $53) for a soft glow.

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He won't notice...

Eye makeup that's smudged.

He will notice...

Eyes that are bloodshot.

Fisher explains: "Women think smudged liner or mascara makes them look unattractive. But from what I can tell, men don't see it as a bad thing. You probably look more real to them, and you may have to point it out for them to even pick up on it. Red, bloodshot eyes and whites of the eyes that don't look bright, on the other hand, are very noticeable because they show you're unhealthy, run-down, or strung out...and that is never attractive."

Try to rest up and get extra sleep to restore your sparkling gaze; in the meantime, a few eyedrops plus a swipe of blue mascara can help cancel out redness in your eyes.

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He won't notice...

A change in nail polish.

He will notice...

A change in nail length.

Fisher explains: "Guys usually perceive a difference in your look when it relates to them. So if your nails go from short to long or from square to pointy, he'll feel a difference when you touch his skin or stroke his back. But when you switch up your nail-polish shade from coral to purple? That doesn't have an impact on him. It's not that he is checked out or not paying any attention. It's that he's more focused on other aspects of you"...like the way your nails make his skin tingle when you run them down his spine.

And hey, if you have a few scuffs or chips, don't sweat it. At night, massage in a cuticle conditioner (like OPI Avoplex Cuticle Oil to Go, $7.95) to keep your hands soft and smooth without needing a manicure.