After 3 years of her antics... and with 3 weeks to go to trial... 2 bankers boxes full of documents... 479 files in my PC Divorce folder... 689 (non-deleted) emails... 3 fully read and earmarked Bill Eddy books... we had an intense 6 hour mediation session where she basically took the offer that's been on the table for 2.5 years.

I'm drained.... and relieved.... but incredibly pi**ed at the system and these laws.

I put "worked" in quotes, as I am now stuck with support payments with no end. Our separation is 3 weeks passed the day where "rule of 65" kicks in. She's fully retired at 49 years old (no desire to work). I'm now facing a massive financial rebuilding and potentially 40 years of support payments. How did the laws ever get like this ????

I have a mountain of anger and bitterness to work through... not only dealing with what she's dragged us through, but the financial destruction, and the legal system which supports this nonsense. Now, after a lifetime of financial diligence, at 52 I face an almost insurmountable rebuilding effort while she kicks back for the next 40 years on my dime.

aaarrrggghhh....

Thanks to everyone who has provided guidance through this crap... this forum, and you people, are phenomenal... I'm not going anywhere for a while... I just hope I can give back what I've got from it.

I'm not rich. The payments are not small. The technical term is "indefinite"... I am extrapolating 40 years for life planning purposes.

She has never worked during the marriage (much against my will).

I chose a fixed end date in the mediation as a "hill to die on", however mediator and my lawyer said if it went to trial, 95% the court would find sympathy with her and apply the "indefinite" clause.... there are other "extenuating" circumstances where the court would also find sympathy with her... complete garbage in my opinion, but everyone told me "court would find sympathy" with her.

They "softened" it with I can apply to retire and reduce payments.... starting at 60... but this just means the court battles will be going on for life.

Do try to find some information on 'early retirement' and how it can be viewed as a means to avoid support payments - better yet, get a decent lawyer who will keep you from trying this as it won't work.

SomeGuy - by the way, sorry to hear things didn't go as you had hoped. Sounds like you have accomplished much though.

Hope you managed to get a stepped-up SS agreement which basically gives your ex incentive to work. Those are quite common nowadays, even with spouses who haven't worked before. I understand that judges like them as well.

Be good to yourself -you've earned it. Terrible ordeal you've been through.

I have a maxim that I live by - "to be satisfied look at those beneath you (less fortunate than you)". When I hear about story like yours and I know I got off the crazy bus after only a short marriage I feel great!