Conan’s 2014 MTV Movie Awards Memories: 7 Hilarious Observations

Conan O’Brien learned that firsthand with his awesome tenure hosting the 2014 MTV Movie Awards. From almost being lit on fire to being made very aware of his age, the host had a bunch to share on his own show, “Conan,” afterwards about the experience.

“Nothing Makes You Feel Old Like” The MTV Movie Awards
“I didn’t know who two-thirds of the people were!” Conan admitted, though he did a great job pretending to. He added, “The whole night for me was like, the Lifetime Achievement Award goes to … Zic Billingsley,” which might be the most interesting pronunciation of Mark Wahlberg‘s name we’ve ever heard.

Conan Needs To Write Movie Titles
“They’re all in a movie I don’t even know,” Conan said. “It’s like ‘Transcendence Insurgent Optimum 9.’ ” I have two questions about that: What is that movie about and who do I pay to see it? Conan doesn’t even know it, but he clearly has a pulse on the young moviegoing audience.

The Movie Awards Can Give You PTSD
“I kept telling kids I fought in the Korean War,” Conan said. “Whenever there were explosions, I was like, let’s get our men off hill 9!” The main takeaway: Conan looks really good for someone who’s 82.

Conan Almost Burned To Death
Most people don’t know it, but hosting the Movie Awards is a dangerous job. Conan revealed that when he emerged from the smoking popcorn at the beginning of the show, he “felt searing heat behind my back; a wall of flames shot up behind me.” Which would have been fine, except Conan notes, “What they don’t know is that my tuxedo was made of compressed petroleum. They were like, ‘Who are you wearing.’ I’m wearing Exxon.” He added, “I could’ve gone up like a match!” We’re glad you didn’t, Conan. We’re glad you made it.

There Were Deleted Scenes
As Conan notes, most movie awards hosts like inserting themselves into scenes from nominated movies. Conan isn’t like other movie award hosts, though, so he thought of something else: He would have the movies inserted into him. In a clip cut from the Movie Awards, we see that he took that very literally, having the film literally inserted into his body: “Wolf of Wall Street” was not a pleasant experience.

Conan’s Hair Prep Is Insane
Taking a cue from “American Hustle,” Conan showed how he got his hair ready for the MTV Movie Awards. It involved a bunch of glue, hairspray, a red mop, some Scotch tape, a saw and a microwave. Watch the whole crazy and hilarious sequence for yourself.

It’s Just A Good Time
Despite the threat of combustion, Korean War flashbacks and feeling a little old (we promise, Conan, you’re not!), Conan still had a good time. “Those kids had a good time, and I had a good time,” Conan said. Us too, Conan. Now excuse me, I have to go marathon “Transcendence Insurgent Optimum” 1 through 8.