Nelson Piquet Jr’s death imminent?

Insiders at the FIA say that Nelson Piquet Jr. may die at the Monaco Grand Prix in May. “He may just fly off the track, due to his lack of talent, and end up in the harbor” said an official who asked not to be named. “And once he’s in the water, his enormous head(reportedly as big as a NASCAR car) will make it nearly impossible to rescue him. We’ll need some sort of helicopter, perhaps a Sikorsky Skycrane, to lift such a large, heavy object.”

Piquet, known as Mr. Ego to most of the F1 paddock, disagreed.

“I’m the best driver in F1! I cannot make mistakes, especially at Monaco! I will put my Renault on pole and win the race, just like I did at Australia! And contrary to what people say, I’m not egotistical–I’m really the best driver ever!”

Reports that Piquet may be insane could not be confirmed at press time.