New here too! Good luck! I am so afraid of attending a meeting too! " Know you are not alone. You are part of a fellowship that isn't going to> judge you. And everything that happens in AA is anonymous. I understand if> you are nervous about being seen. (Trust me, I almost wore a disguise to my> first meeting. )"

HAAA, you know I might actually do that! Wear a wig and go to a different town! I truly am so scared of anyone I know seeing me go into a meeting!

New here too! Good luck! I am so afraid of attending a meeting too! " Know you are not alone. You are part of a fellowship that isn't going to> judge you. And everything that happens in AA is anonymous. I understand if> you are nervous about being seen. (Trust me, I almost wore a disguise to my> first meeting. :lol: )"

HAAA, you know I might actually do that! Wear a wig and go to a different town! I truly am so scared of anyone I know seeing me go into a meeting!

thank you all for sharing. reading other were afraid to go to a meeting made me feel better. right now this feels safe and safety is important. it will grow i know that now. never thought i'd thank the presence of a computer but here i go.

thank you all for sharing. reading other were afraid to go to a meeting made me feel better. right now this feels safe and safety is important. it will grow i know that now. never thought i'd thank the presence of a computer but here i go.

my problem seems strange--no drinking nor narcotic abuse although i have plenty of narcotics to take if i chose to do so. it's my meds for other health issues--anything with sedating side effects, anything to make an empty day just go away with sleep. i called for a psychiatrist and it's going to take weeks if, if my insurance will even cover. i am afraid to go to a meeting. afraid people will jump on me and deny my health issues. which quite frankly are rather scarey. i was in the psych hospital once and attended a meeting and two people yelled at me and labled me an addict when at that point i wasn't misusing anything but having a ptsd meltdowm. i feel too fragile to attend but i' have started misuisng these meds. then when they are needed i don't have them. so obviously there is a serious problem. please no one yell at me even on line.

my problem seems strange--no drinking nor narcotic abuse although i have plenty of narcotics to take if i chose to do so. it's my meds for other health issues--anything with sedating side effects, anything to make an empty day just go away with sleep. i called for a psychiatrist and it's going to take weeks if, if my insurance will even cover. i am afraid to go to a meeting. afraid people will jump on me and deny my health issues. which quite frankly are rather scarey. i was in the psych hospital once and attended a meeting and two people yelled at me and labled me an addict when at that point i wasn't misusing anything but having a ptsd meltdowm. i feel too fragile to attend but i' have started misuisng these meds. then when they are needed i don't have them. so obviously there is a serious problem. please no one yell at me even on line.

I'm also new to recovery and it will be extremely hard because I am leaving behind someone that I love who has the same problem but refuses to admit it. Hard to leave someone behind that you love and hard to leave them in a bad place.

I'm also new to recovery and it will be extremely hard because I am leaving behind someone that I love who has the same problem but refuses to admit it. Hard to leave someone behind that you love and hard to leave them in a bad place.

i AM ALSO NEW TO RECOVERY.... STOPPED ON FRIDAY AND ITS IS A STRUGGLE BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. THATS THE ONLY WAY I WILL GET THROUGH IT. ALSO HAVE FAITH IN THE PEOPLE WHO TRULY CARE ABOUT YOU AND THE WAY YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE IS THEY WILL ENCOURAGE YOU AND STICK BY YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!!

i AM ALSO NEW TO RECOVERY.... STOPPED ON FRIDAY AND ITS IS A STRUGGLE BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. THATS THE ONLY WAY I WILL GET THROUGH IT. ALSO HAVE FAITH IN THE PEOPLE WHO TRULY CARE ABOUT YOU AND THE WAY YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE IS THEY WILL ENCOURAGE YOU AND STICK BY YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!!

I am extemely new to this site and also to recovery...I can not even consider stateing recovery just yet since I am currently having a beer. I searched alcholism and then AA meetings in my area which in turn led me to this site. First it was via mobile which I was struggling with and in my defense I struggle with mobile internet even while sober lol. I have known for quite sometime I have a problem with alcohol and honestly don't know how I will stop being is I have tried yet my live in companion drinks on a daily basis and is no help in the situation yet, loves to blame every problem in our relationship on me...smh. When I go through my spells of trying not to drink he continues to drink we still have problems because drinking is not the only problem so I use the excuse we have issues and if there are going to be problems when I'm not drinking than f it may as well have a drink and and the worst part I am only person hurting myself & my babies...ugh...and the best part no matter what he will always blame it all on me... I really hope that I will be able to focus on getting myslef better. I have three beautiful children 20, 17, and 3. The two oldest use to love and respect me and as of late I know they love me but, respect is dwindling. The 3 year old don't know any better yet I can tell he has been suffering the lifestyle he is forced to live is so different than the lifestyle the oldest had to live. I have lost so many loved ones over the years some old and some young and to be honest I more or less have become numb to death. I am not sure where to go from here...yes I know where I can go to a meeting and I am not sure how I feel about it going it alone. I am very scared and ashamed and not sure what this will do to my relationship either. I have many mixed emotions and don't know where to start. The meeting in my area that I am most interested in due to location, day, and time is not til Monday so for now I have this site and tomorrow I plan to run it all by someone close to me yet... where I know they will say I am making a good choice in going I don't think I will have them there to help walk me through the process Well, I will have to check in later. The other half will be getting up for work in a few and I don't have much time for sleep either. Have to get up and work and take care of my youngest at the same time. Work from home advantages and disadvantages... :'(

I am extemely new to this site and also to recovery...I can not even consider stateing recovery just yet since I am currently having a beer. I searched alcholism and then AA meetings in my area which in turn led me to this site. First it was via mobile which I was struggling with and in my defense I struggle with mobile internet even while sober lol. I have known for quite sometime I have a problem with alcohol and honestly don't know how I will stop being is I have tried yet my live in companion drinks on a daily basis and is no help in the situation yet, loves to blame every problem in our relationship on me...smh. When I go through my spells of trying not to drink he continues to drink we still have problems because drinking is not the only problem so I use the excuse we have issues and if there are going to be problems when I'm not drinking than f it may as well have a drink and and the worst part I am only person hurting myself & my babies...ugh...and the best part no matter what he will always blame it all on me... I really hope that I will be able to focus on getting myslef better. I have three beautiful children 20, 17, and 3. The two oldest use to love and respect me and as of late I know they love me but, respect is dwindling. The 3 year old don't know any better yet I can tell he has been suffering the lifestyle he is forced to live is so different than the lifestyle the oldest had to live. I have lost so many loved ones over the years some old and some young and to be honest I more or less have become numb to death. I am not sure where to go from here...yes I know where I can go to a meeting and I am not sure how I feel about it going it alone. I am very scared and ashamed and not sure what this will do to my relationship either. I have many mixed emotions and don't know where to start. The meeting in my area that I am most interested in due to location, day, and time is not til Monday so for now I have this site and tomorrow I plan to run it all by someone close to me yet... where I know they will say I am making a good choice in going I don't think I will have them there to help walk me through the process :| Well, I will have to check in later. The other half will be getting up for work in a few and I don't have much time for sleep either. Have to get up and work and take care of my youngest at the same time. Work from home advantages and disadvantages... :'(

detroitmcroy wrote:> This is a good site for me, I am new and 2 days sober. I have a lot of> family that loves me and want to see me sober. My test will come, Friday,> Saturday, and Sunday, this is when I do most of my drinking. I am declaring> war on my drinking, I go about a month without drinking sometimes two, but> I always return to the alcohol. This time I will join AA I will not go it> alone.

detroitmcroy wrote:> This is a good site for me, I am new and 2 days sober. I have a lot of> family that loves me and want to see me sober. My test will come, Friday,> Saturday, and Sunday, this is when I do most of my drinking. I am declaring> war on my drinking, I go about a month without drinking sometimes two, but> I always return to the alcohol. This time I will join AA I will not go it> alone.

This is a good site for me, I am new and 2 days sober. I have a lot of family that loves me and want to see me sober. My test will come, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, this is when I do most of my drinking. I am declaring war on my drinking, I go about a month without drinking sometimes two, but I always return to the alcohol. This time I will join AA I will not go it alone.

This is a good site for me, I am new and 2 days sober. I have a lot of family that loves me and want to see me sober. My test will come, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, this is when I do most of my drinking. I am declaring war on my drinking, I go about a month without drinking sometimes two, but I always return to the alcohol. This time I will join AA I will not go it alone.

I am new and having so much trouble trying to sleep. Can only get a 20 minute nap here and there and worrying about work. Only 2 days sober and girlfriend of 4 years left me 4 days ago and is battling breast cancer. I want to talk to her so bad, but afraid she will get me upset as she is going out and drinking to excess. I am afraid any contact will send me out drinking again and I also worry that sadness, loneliness, sleeplessness, anxiety and depression will end withe the same results. Scared to death of being alone without the person I love. I want a drink so bad! I know it's not the right thing to do but this is hard to handle and I am white knuckling. Been to 4 meetings in 2 days. So late at night I don't want to call the one number I have.

I am new and having so much trouble trying to sleep. Can only get a 20 minute nap here and there and worrying about work. Only 2 days sober and girlfriend of 4 years left me 4 days ago and is battling breast cancer. I want to talk to her so bad, but afraid she will get me upset as she is going out and drinking to excess. I am afraid any contact will send me out drinking again and I also worry that sadness, loneliness, sleeplessness, anxiety and depression will end withe the same results. Scared to death of being alone without the person I love. I want a drink so bad! I know it's not the right thing to do but this is hard to handle and I am white knuckling. Been to 4 meetings in 2 days. So late at night I don't want to call the one number I have.

Hello this is my first time trying to get help with my addiction i wish i had very supportive help i hace 4 kids and a husband but it seems like he dnt want to be my support and he also drinks every time i try to stop drinking he brings drinks and other things around me then he gets mad that i pour it out when i get mad am i wrong for wanting to get better and he drinks also and tells me stop drinking i want to but it seems that he dnt want me to get better

Hello this is my first time trying to get help with my addiction i wish i had very supportive help i hace 4 kids and a husband but it seems like he dnt want to be my support and he also drinks every time i try to stop drinking he brings drinks and other things around me then he gets mad that i pour it out when i get mad am i wrong for wanting to get better and he drinks also and tells me stop drinking i want to but it seems that he dnt want me to get better

Sabrina, I hit the wrong button. Any way this forum is great for all new comers I am a new comer again. The strom is coming and if I can not get out to a metting I can talk in here great site Your messge to the new comers was great too! If you see two post from me please excuse trying to learn this site. Peace

Sabina wrote:

> Congratulations on the newcomers taking a bold step to admit they have a> problem.> > Becoming sober can seem daunting (Never have a drink again? NO WAY!) but> the most important thing is to take it easy. Little steps. > > Leave your guilt, shame and remorse behind. > > Look on the list for a meeting near you. If you don't like that meeting,> the people, the venue, try another one. > > Find a copy of The Big Book. You can download it online free. Read it.> Sounds like BS, but the book will show you, you are not alone. > > Know you are not alone. You are part of a fellowship that isn't going to> judge you. And everything that happens in AA is anonymous. I understand if> you are nervous about being seen. (Trust me, I almost wore a disguise to my> first meeting. )> > And if you slipped up and drank today, you slipped up. Don't beat yourself> up for it but don't drink tomorrow.> > Oh, if you feel like you have somehow failed at life because you are an> alcoholic, Google "Famous Alcoholics." You are in really cool> company.

Sabrina, I hit the wrong button. Any way this forum is great for all new comers I am a new comer again. The strom is coming and if I can not get out to a metting I can talk in here great site Your messge to the new comers was great too! If you see two post from me please excuse trying to learn this site. Peace

Sabina wrote:

> Congratulations on the newcomers taking a bold step to admit they have a> problem.> > Becoming sober can seem daunting (Never have a drink again? NO WAY!) but> the most important thing is to take it easy. Little steps. > > Leave your guilt, shame and remorse behind. > > Look on the list for a meeting near you. If you don't like that meeting,> the people, the venue, try another one. > > Find a copy of The Big Book. You can download it online free. Read it.> Sounds like BS, but the book will show you, you are not alone. > > Know you are not alone. You are part of a fellowship that isn't going to> judge you. And everything that happens in AA is anonymous. I understand if> you are nervous about being seen. (Trust me, I almost wore a disguise to my> first meeting. :lol: )> > And if you slipped up and drank today, you slipped up. Don't beat yourself> up for it but don't drink tomorrow.> > Oh, if you feel like you have somehow failed at life because you are an> alcoholic, Google "Famous Alcoholics." You are in really cool> company.

Miss Feb wrote:> Hi! I am new to this site and trying to navagate my way through it. I am> very new to recovery also. Only about a week and I am struggling. I am> having a hard time realizing that I can not go to the places I used to go> such as bars and dance clubs or to see my friend's band play. Everytime I> do I end up drinking and now it is to the point that I blackout and that is> really scary. Any suggestions would be welcome.

I've been there. I had to totally change my lifestyle. It took for me to see someone maybe 10 years my senior leaving the cutrate as I was on my way in and thinking that's going to be me in 5 years if I don't quit. It's not pretty when a woman is a drunk. Not lady like at all. Think of all the positive activities that you used to enjoy, start a bucket list of things you would like to enjoy, go to church. Attend an AA meeting. Enlist a sober friend for encouragement and observe how they live without a drink.

As for the blackouts--totally scary and I'm with you on this point--it only gets worse, much, much worse. I didn't experience a blackout until I had stopped drinking--cold turkey, not realizing that I was dependent upon alcohol and it could have killed me. Only the grace of God allowed me to get dry without experiencing the side effects that include death from quitting cold turkey. When I picked up a drink again four years later I started experiencing blackouts after a minimal amount of drinking. To this day, it takes very little to send me into a blackout state where I'm completely functioning and don't remember a thing. Whew...not a happy thought. I don't even want to be told how I behaved when I was blacked out and people don't realize that I'm blacked out and have no recollection of what I said and did. Luckily, I never drink outside of home or it would be a sight to behold. It's still never a good thing and I can no longer handle hard liquor, and I cannot drink in public. It's something to think about.

Miss Feb wrote:> Hi! I am new to this site and trying to navagate my way through it. I am> very new to recovery also. Only about a week and I am struggling. I am> having a hard time realizing that I can not go to the places I used to go> such as bars and dance clubs or to see my friend's band play. Everytime I> do I end up drinking and now it is to the point that I blackout and that is> really scary. Any suggestions would be welcome.

I've been there. I had to totally change my lifestyle. It took for me to see someone maybe 10 years my senior leaving the cutrate as I was on my way in and thinking that's going to be me in 5 years if I don't quit. It's not pretty when a woman is a drunk. Not lady like at all. Think of all the positive activities that you used to enjoy, start a bucket list of things you would like to enjoy, go to church. Attend an AA meeting. Enlist a sober friend for encouragement and observe how they live without a drink.

As for the blackouts--totally scary and I'm with you on this point--it only gets worse, much, much worse. I didn't experience a blackout until I had stopped drinking--cold turkey, not realizing that I was dependent upon alcohol and it could have killed me. Only the grace of God allowed me to get dry without experiencing the side effects that include death from quitting cold turkey. When I picked up a drink again four years later I started experiencing blackouts after a minimal amount of drinking. To this day, it takes very little to send me into a blackout state where I'm completely functioning and don't remember a thing. Whew...not a happy thought. I don't even want to be told how I behaved when I was blacked out and people don't realize that I'm blacked out and have no recollection of what I said and did. Luckily, I never drink outside of home or it would be a sight to behold. It's still never a good thing and I can no longer handle hard liquor, and I cannot drink in public. It's something to think about.

Recently commited myself to the program again and tonight I went to my first meeting in a few years. The safety I felt walking through those doors compares to nothing else. It felt like the mistakes I have been making recently were lifted off of me. I didn't even participate other than supporting others and the feeling of using never felt more terrible. All it takes is listening and applying it to yourself. Good luck.

Recently commited myself to the program again and tonight I went to my first meeting in a few years. The safety I felt walking through those doors compares to nothing else. It felt like the mistakes I have been making recently were lifted off of me. I didn't even participate other than supporting others and the feeling of using never felt more terrible. All it takes is listening and applying it to yourself. Good luck.

I have been clean now since August 15, 2012. I have went to church one time since I have been clean and I still haven't used! I dont get it because I have always heard that if you didnt follow The 12 Steps to a tee that you were going to use again. I do not want to use anymore but i have had a couple cravings since I have been sober. I have always just let them pass. The only thing is right after I got clean I found out I have Hepatitis B, and have been sick with many infections since because my immune system is so weak now and my white blood count is so high.So I guess its the way I think about things now! I have a whole new perspective on life and everything about it. i take nothing for granted now. I just joined here because I am a stay at home mom with two young boys. Would just like to meet someone that understands what I am going through.

I have been clean now since August 15, 2012. I have went to church one time since I have been clean and I still haven't used! I dont get it because I have always heard that if you didnt follow The 12 Steps to a tee that you were going to use again. I do not want to use anymore but i have had a couple cravings since I have been sober. I have always just let them pass. The only thing is right after I got clean I found out I have Hepatitis B, and have been sick with many infections since because my immune system is so weak now and my white blood count is so high.So I guess its the way I think about things now! I have a whole new perspective on life and everything about it. i take nothing for granted now. I just joined here because I am a stay at home mom with two young boys. Would just like to meet someone that understands what I am going through.

@Tom, nothing to be scared of. I felt relief after going to my first meeting.

I finally introduced myself into the elephant in MY room.

Slowly but surely, I've been reintroducing myself to my family, my friends and the life I wanted to have instead of spending big parts of it drinking and hiding my drinking and recovering from my drinking.

@Joebarr, how did it go?

@Tom, nothing to be scared of. I felt relief after going to my first meeting.

I finally introduced myself into the elephant in MY room.

Slowly but surely, I've been reintroducing myself to my family, my friends and the life I wanted to have instead of spending big parts of it drinking and hiding my drinking and recovering from my drinking. :lol: