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Frustrated and trying to hang on to my job

I was diagnosed with SLE and Sjogrens in 2008, and was controlling them fairly well with OTC anti-inflammatory and supplements. I have been working a few temp jobs here and there when I felt good, and lost two "real jobs" due to being ill. Two months ago I got another "real" job. It wasn't what I was looking for (wanted part-time, easy work), but it kind of fell into my lap and I felt I had to accept it. It was working out OK then this last week all hell broke loose. I am in a major flare, major pain and discomfort, have had a LOT of trouble thinking straight, and an basically crying at my desk and not being able to do the job I was able to do last week. I disclosed my condition to HR and then my supervisor, and there are some minor accommodations they are willing to make (seat me in a more private area, give me somewhat easier work), but even with these accommodations, I am still circling the drain of this job. My Dr, a general physician, is going to get me in to see a rheumatologist within several days, but I still don't have insurance on this job for another 5 weeks, so I'm dreading what all the testing, Drs, and etc, will cost. My Dr suggested applying for Medicaid, which I will do, especially if I loose this job. My boyfriend of 7 years was great at the Drs yesterday, he said I just needed to get better, to not worry if I lose this job, it's not the end of the world, but I could tell there was also this hope that I can hang on for another 5 or 6 weeks to get insurance. I am not sure if I should try to hang on to this job, wait for them to terminate me, quit, or what. I am trying to accept that I am not the same as I was a decade ago, that maybe I can't do this type of detailed stressful office work. It just makes me feel frustrated that I can't do the things I could do in the past. Would like advice, comfort, etc. I really enjoy reading everyone else's posts - it makes me feel not so alone.

~ Morrison
SLE and Sjogrens
It's hard to take over the world when you sleep 20 hours a day (Get Fuzzy)

MorrisonGal,
I'm sorry that you have to make such a tough choice. I wish that we had decent healthcare in this country like the type that Canada has.
Your health is what is important. If the accommodations at work are enough to let you hang in there, go for it. If you are still feeling worse, then you should explore other options.
I hope that something works out for you.
Hugs,
Marla

Hi, you're not alone in this type of situation. I've been here from quite a while. Let the flare pass before you make any major decision. I've taken a wait and see attitude and so far I still have a job.

Well, went to talk with HR, felt she was reasonable. I ended up quitting but on good terms. I feel good about my decision, because I thought I might already have been terminated for missing a few days recently. I probably would have missed quite a few more days seeing new Drs, getting used to new meds, not to mention the sitting at my desk crying and not being able to do my work right now. (thanks, brain fog) I feel that I would have ended up being terminated, as the company has a really strict attendance policy. Now I'm trying to figure out my next move.

~ Morrison
SLE and Sjogrens
It's hard to take over the world when you sleep 20 hours a day (Get Fuzzy)

I am glad you are happy with your decision. There comes a point for many that we decide or Lupis decides for us. Glad you were able to leave the way you did. It is a much easier pill to swallow and shows that you are taking care of yourself

MariSuccess is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Steve.b that's a good idea about a letter. I think if I end up applying for disability I'll have a lawyer, because I'm past the point of being able to deal with even minor daily frustrations, let alone legal stuff.

~ Morrison
SLE and Sjogrens
It's hard to take over the world when you sleep 20 hours a day (Get Fuzzy)

Hey there, I too am experiencing something similar.. being used to being superwoman owning my own small biz that I worked so hard to build only to have to make the difficult decision to get rid of it b/c the stress of running it is making me sicker. It totally sucks and I hate every minute of this but at the end of the day my health and quality of life are the most important things. I am trying to come to terms with my new reality. Hopefully my health will stabilize soon and being only 31 I can figure out what my next move will be at that point. Breathe deep my friend and good luck

I'm going through the same thing. I run an in home daycare and I'm struggling to do what I used to do with the kids, it's not fair to them I don't want to stop, honestly can't afford to but it stresses me out...it's a lotta work watching 5 kids under 4! My 13 yr old helps, but now he's back in school. I started this biz cuz I was missing days a my old job, so I too had to quit. My daycare kids and their parns are extended family, they know what's going on and are very understanding. But I still have a tough choice to make. I'm glad you did what you felt was right, good luck on your next move!