Thursday, September 15, 2011

Life update

So I haven't written in here in awhile. Lots has been going on. I moved out of the apartment I was staying at over the summer into a (less conveniently located) three apartment house with a couple of guys who I like quite a bit! It's so much nicer to live with people I feel comfortable with, and that I can actually be friends with. And I can have a dog here! I'll be starting the application process at the end of the month, and hopefully will have a canine companion in my care starting mid-late October (but I'm really not sure how long it takes, this is my first time adopting a rescue). We will see.

But it hasn't all been sunshine and puppies. The summer was stressful, I was lonely, I made an ass of myself a whole lot... oh and I went on a little bit of a drug binge with a friend of mine(honestly it wasn't as bad as you're probably thinking). I've cut back since he left the country, but I still partake. I feel a little guilt over it, but god do I enjoy it. I don't know. I have developed a significant smoking habit, like 2-6 cigs a day, which is... a lot. For me. I need to quit to protect my voice, but I don't know if I'm ready to. Maybe when I get my dog, so I have a real excuse to go outside rather than smoke. Alas.

I've been feeling a lot of guilt lately over the people I've hurt. There are a lot of them. I'm definitely at least two guys' psycho ex, I was shit to one of my roommates, I got someone involved in an awful situation with my ex because I couldn't shut my face... and those were only recently. I have a long past of hurting others and a bigger one of being hurt. I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this, other than I want to apologize to these people. Well, maybe not my most recent ex, not yet. But the others. I've been a piece of shit to a lot of people. :/