‘Jersey Joe’ Pizzeria Owner Denies Mishandling His Meat

And our first instinct is to believe him. After all, the entire session was captured on surveillance video and had its world premiere on 4Chan. (You would think a person would know well where his safe spots are inside his own restaurant.)

Still, someone was handling the wrong kind of meat in the leaked video. That’s certain. But Scire, whose nickname is “Jersey Joe,” denied the web star was him and also added, “that’s not my pizzeria.”

Unfortunately for Scire, the denial hasn’t stopped this spankfest from going viral.

4Chan users posted links to several random, unsecured webcams on Wednesday, HuffPo noted. The users took screenshots from those cameras that reveal a man in white T-shirt and shorts seated at a desk, giving himself the business.

Surrounding the crime scene — masturbating in public is a crime, right? — were full kitchen adornments: refrigerator, sink, and containers for locking in pizza temperature.

Of course, the main question we’re left with this is this: if Jersey Joe isn’t the man behind the meat, then who is?

To that point, Scire told HuffPo that he’d recently fired two employees, and that this could be a revenge prank.

The incident has sparked a number of satirical Yelp reviews praising the restaurant for its, ahem, service.

Scire told HuffPo he hadn’t heard of the phony reviews, adding, “I’m just going to call the cops.”

When we went to check out the reviews for ourselves, it appeared as though some of the ones currently circulating around the web have been removed. However, we did manage to dig up this little gem:

Surprisingly, this isn’t the first caught on camera masturbation episode we’ve told you about in the last month.