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A Guide to Staying Friends With Both Members of a Broken-Up Couple

Do you have to pick sides after two of your friends break up? Not if you follow these rules.

Last summer, because I happened to be surrounded by friends' breakups, I had to learn a thing or two about the etiquette of maintaining my friendships with both parties (if that was something I wanted to do, anyway--at least it's simpler when your friend's dating some giant lame dude you couldn't pick out of a lineup.)

So let's talk common misconceptions/missteps when attempting to continue to be a close friend to both people in the former relationship.

False: You have to side with the friend you came in with. Dude, if they dated for like seven years and you became as close to the significant other as you did to your original friend, there's nothing wrong with changing teams.

False: You have to side with the friend of the same gender as you. See above. I mean, if the girl cheated on the guy or something, would you still side with the girl by default?

True: You should attempt to avoid discussing the breakup with either of them. I don't care how many drinks you've had--stay out of it, lest your meddling blow up in your face.

True: Don't let on that you know anything about one party moving on with someone else before the other. What's going to happen is that the person will get a nauseated look on his/her face and grimace-smile and be like, "No, I'm glad s/he found someone else! I'm really glad!" and proceed to pump you for information like an insane person, and then it'll get back to the other friend and, once again, you will be screwed.

True: Don't hang out with them at the same time. Even if they're still friends. Especially within the first few weeks. The risks just outweigh the rewards on this one.

True: Keep the discussion of their breakup with other friends to a minimum. Moderate dishing is expected, of course, especially if you and the broken-up couple have a lot of friends in common, but if you want your friendship with both of them to last, you're risking the stuff you say getting back to them.

Do you guys disagree with me and think sides always need to be taken in this situation? Am I breaking any major friend-rules or girl-code stipulations that I should know about? Tell me!