PALO ALTO, CA – A new study out of Stanford University reveals that the British accent is no longer considered a positive trait for attracting sexual partners.

PALO ALTO, CA – A new study out of Stanford University reveals that the British accent is no longer considered a positive trait for attracting sexual partners.

In a comprehensive new research study conducted jointly by the Department of Linguistics and the Department of Psychology at Stanford University, three thousand American men and women ranging in age from 18 to 54 were monitored to detect sexual arousal after hearing different foreign accents. The study was named after Professor John Comito, who worked with Alfred Kinsey in his youth and is now a pioneer in sexual linguistics.

Each subject participating in The Comito Study was put in a mood-enhanced room (low-lighting, soft music), then they were played samples of native speakers reciting simple phrases in English (i.e. “would you like to have dinner?” you look beautiful,” “let’s stroll in the park,” etc.). Subjects also heard several regional accents: New York, New Jersey, Midwest, Southern, Texas, and California. Electrodes attached to the subject monitored sexual arousal.

The results of The Comito Study surprised researchers. Women and men have always been aroused by French and Italian accents, and women have always seemed to go “weak in the knees” over British accents. No more. While the romance languages account for the majority of accents that attract the opposite sex, the British accent is slowly losing its sex appeal. “Women today seem unimpressed with the British accent. They are more attracted to accents of the more hot-blooded countries – Spain, Brazil, Greece.”

Here are the results of The Comito Study. The top 15 accents that caused sexual arousal in subjects:

FOR MEN

Italian

French

Spanish

Southern

Greek

Irish

Russian

Australian

Canadian

Chinese

Swedish

Jamaican

New Jersey

British

Dutch

FOR WOMEN

Italian

Spanish

French

Greek

Irish

Dutch

Swedish

South African

Australian

Russian

Canadian

Cuban

Southern

Hungarian

British

Men are slightly more attracted to the British accent than women, but that may be because TV producers regularly give the hot, female lead to British actresses. One researcher, psychologist Jacob Vizmans speculated that it may because American men are just growing tired of American women. His female research partners strongly disagreed with his comments and had him fired from The Comito Study.

One of the Comito researchers, Dr. Linda Masterson said, “For decades British men have been coming to America with the idea that women will just drop their skirts when they hear their accent, and for decades it worked. But now, American women are turned-off by the accent.” One subject wrote this on their data form, “I used to like British accents because I used to think of Jude Law and James Bond, but now when I hear it all I think of is bad teeth and oil spills. Ewww.” Even though the study was conducted in May of this year, researchers with the Comito Project say that the BP oil spill did not affect the findings.

Dr. Lisa Masterson, who is married to a Jamaican set designer said, “The fact is that British accents have become… a bore.”

In general, subjects felt that if you had an accent your chances of having sex were better than if you didn’t. That word spread quickly on campus and since the study was released, there appears to be a lot more men at the bar with Italian accents. Hmmm….

The Comito Study is now expanding its research to Europe. They want to see how effective an American accent is in creating sexual arousal in Europeans. “It’s not going to be easy, Europeans don’t always respond to an American accent with arousal.” We look forward to the results.