Posts tagged ‘funny’

This comic is great and it hits on one of my pet peeves. Sadly, even I am guilty of it sometimes, but at least I try. People no longer seem to care about their spelling in these days of 140 words or less. As much as I love social networking and everything on the internet, obviously, I am an avid blogger, I don’t like the 140 words or less orientation. It’s on so many sites now. Probably one of the reasons I love my blog. I have a lot more to say than 140 words.

I found this on this cool website called Oatmeal.com. That link takes you to the full zombie comic. It has all kinds of hilarious comics and quizzes. So cool. Check it out. I’ll add it to the links, too. It’s that super cool.

So, before I get into the point of this, I read over last night’s post and I feel , strangely enough, it was well thought out. The writing was choppy and had no flow or rhythm, but the words were heartfelt and important. And I have not raised my voice yet. I just keep reminding myself it only takes a few weeks of forcing new habits to learn to adopt them for good.

Anyways, I found the most retarded video ever. I love Twilight and Jacob (he’s sooo hot), but this is ridiculous.

I mean grow the fuck up. I love the saying “You’re unique… just like everybody else” I mean, fuck, attaching a wolf tail to your ass. What the fuck is that? I hope those kids get their asses kicked on daily basis for being so gay. No offense to homosexuals everywhere.

I used to work at Family Video a few years back and I hated that place. I ended up getting fired because I was supposedly not a team player, but the real reason was that I pissed off the guy who was sleeping with the assistant manager. You know, ignore the fact that he was like 17 and still in high school. I turned him down when he hit on me and he just didn’t like that. Anyways, I found this conversation on a website and it just hit my funny bone.

Coworker: “Whoops, looks like there’s a 30 cent late fee on here for [movie]. It was returned a day late, so your total will be $6.25.”

Customer: “What?! That’s impossible! I returned it the day after I rented it!”

Coworker: “Well, it was a seven day rental, and it shows here that you returned it a day late at 6:13 pm.”

(The customer continues to argue very loudly with my coworker, yelling out things like, “Do you know who I am?!” However, I tune it out because a regular customer comes up to my register.)

Me: “Hi, Mr ***!”

Regular: “Hey ***, love the hair. What’s the damage?”

Me: “Oh boy, $43.76 in late fees? Where did you go this time?”

(The regular leans way over into the other customer’s face and speaks loudly.)

Regular: “$43.76 in late fees, you say? Here is my debit card, miss!”

(He pulls his debit card out of his wallet with a big flourish.)

Regular: “Boy, I should learn to return my movies on time, which is clearly not the fault of this establishment!”

(The other customer shuts up, quickly pays, and leaves.)

Me: “You’re my favorite.”

Regular: “I know.”

(We waived half his fees and gave him a free rental.)

I just had to share it. Too damn good. I had quite a few customers like that. Wish I had more of the good customers, though.

I know I should get back to my homework, but I’m still trying to blow some times. Watching 40 Days and 40 Nights right now. Poor damn guy. I can’t imagine going that long without sex. Alex and I have gone for like2 weeks and we’re at each others throats fighting because we’re both so sexually frustrated. I have never wanted a guy like I want him. Sex with him is fucking explosive, orgasmic, insane both emotionally and physically. It is a mixed blessing though. Unlike other guys, where a 10 minute quickie is fine and dandy, with Alex, I have to have more. 15 or 20 minutes is only a tease. I’ve never had this before and I hope it stays this way for the rest of our lives. Mmm Amazing rock hard stomach. Fuck, I’m just making my self horny again. I’m off my period now and this day needs to just pass by so I can get laid tonight. Alex said I have a sex drive like a man. Oh well, It’s only with him. That’s the crazy part.