A half-assed movie blog

Action Movie Marathon

I’ve always considered myself something of an action movie expert–my dad only owned intense war movies and my mom wasn’t a fan of buying us Disney tapes; her favorite movies were The Godfather and Bladerunner. I grew up on a strange mix of 80s-90s action movies with a few exceptions that included Home Alone, Home Alone 2, and Jurassic Park (all violent, basically).

Demolition Man

Netflix summary: In the violent 1990s, a cop (Sylvester Stallone) catches a relentless killer (Wesley Snipes), and both end up in a cryogenic deep freeze. In the peaceful year 2032, the criminal emerges from his long chill and attacks the now crimeless California. Unable to stop the bloodshed, a “Big Brother” boss (Nigel Hawthorne) defrosts the murderer’s past nemesis, who struggles to adapt to the ways of a new world and a restless new partner (Sandra Bullock).

★★★ tl;dr it was awesome minus the Bechdel test failure (not many action movies pass that test). Bullock’s character is painful.

Mad Max

Netflix summary: In a postapocalyptic future, jaded cop Max Rockatansky (Mel Gibson) is ready to retire. But his world is shattered when a malicious gang murders his family as an act of retaliation, forcing a devastated Max to hit the open road seeking vengeance. As he travels the Australian outback’s empty stretches of highway, he tours the bloodstained battlegrounds ruled by marauding bikers who feed on violence.

★★★★ I hear they are making a re-make of this movie. (Need to go see the new one!) Update: the new version is incredible. For the first time probably since getting Netflix I went out and bought a copy. Must see.

Kickboxer

Netflix summary: When kickboxing champ Eric Sloane is crippled in the ring by the evil Tong Po, Eric’s younger brother, Kurt, seeks vengeance. But if he’s to vanquish Po, Kurt must first learn a martial art known as Muay Thai.

★★★ Van Damme is the king of 80s-90s action movies and this one is about average for what you expect. I feel like some of Kill Bill was pulled from this movie, but I could be wrong.

Con Air

Netflix summary: Newly released from prison, ex-con Cameron Poe finds himself on a transport plane that’s been hijacked by some of the most dangerous inmates in America. Cameron just wants to reunite with his wife and daughter, but the thugs have other plans.

★★★★ Once I watched Con Air I realized I’ve been missing out on one of the most actiony action movies ever! This movie has everything cheesey you could ever hope for, including Nicolas Cage with long hair that blows in the wind.

Divergent

Netflix summary: Born into a civilization in the distant future, Beatrice is a teenager who learns that her unique cognitive skills make her useful to the authorities. Over time she discovers that she’s a Divergent, and thus slated for elimination by the government.

★★★★ Not sure why I was instantly pulled into this movie, I do recall yelling to my actual-real-life-boyfriend (not Netflix, my true love), “Come here and watch this movie! It’s hot people doing hot things!!” We both thoroughly enjoyed it. Something so damn appealing about post-apocalyptic young adult trilogies I guess.

The Giver

Netflix summary: In a future society called The Community, pain, war and disease have been eradicated, as have individuality and free will. When a teenager named Jonas learns the truth about the real world, he must decide whether to reveal all or remain quiet.

★★★ Falls into the genre of started-as-a-YA-book about the distopian future in which we are all categorized into rigid identities. I have no problems with this genre. This movie also falls into the category of “wasn’t-as-good-as-the-book.” I remember reading The Giver as an eight-year-old and being completely mesmerized. The movie falls short of my expectations but still gets three stars.