Seon and her two young children are due to be made homeless on Boxing Day because she is a victim of abuse - financial abuse.

Seon describes herself as an independent person who worked and ran her own home before she met her partner in 1997. But during their eight-year relationship she endured abuse in all its forms: physical, emotional, psychological and financial.

'As well as having a violent, aggressive and jealous personality, my ex-partner was also extremely materialistic and obsessed with money. He had no self-control with his money, and his credit [record] was poor and so on occasions he used fraudulent means, along with using me for his monetary gains,' she says.

When Seon had their first child, her partner refused to provide for her and their new baby out of his wages alone. He put pressure on Seon to claim income support as a single parent, telling her to say that their child was the result of a one-night stand, so he would not have to contribute. As a result, the baby was registered with 'father unknown' on the birth certificate.

This gave Seon's partner the perfect means to control her, thwarting any of her attempts to end the relationship by threatening to report her for fraudulently claiming money.

Because his credit record was poor, any new credit arrangements and bills were put in Seon's name. 'My partner wanted everything new and modern in the home: television sets, furniture, kitchen appliances, everything one can think of, and again I was made aware by his threats that if I left him, then it would be down to me to pay back all that was owed to the credit companies.'

Seon had a second child with her partner and, like many women in this situation, was scared to leave for fear of not being able to care for her children. She had no confidence or self-esteem and felt ugly and worthless. But in 2005 she built up the courage to end the relationship, 'mainly for the sake of my second child; the thought of another child having to live in a violent, unhappy and controlled environment was too much to bear'.

Seon's experience, although shocking, is quite common. According to Nicola Sharp, head of policy at Refuge, the tactics used by Seon's ex-partner are typical of those adopted by abusers. Research by Refuge shows that 89 per cent of respondents report economic abuse as part of their experience of domestic violence. Of these, 49 per cent report that their abuser has interfered with their education and employment, 74 per cent say their abuser has controlled their access to economic resources, 12 per cent say their abuser has refused to contribute towards costs such as household bills and bringing up the children, while 18 per cent say their abuser has generated extra costs by destroying clothes and furniture or coercing their partner into taking out loans, credit cards and mobile phone contracts.

Refuge says calls asking for help typically go up after Christmas, but not necessarily because abuse has been exacerbated by the holiday. More often it's because women have been holding on, trying to keep a lid on the problem for the sake of their children until Christmas is over. For the past four years, calls to the free 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, which is run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge, have risen by an average of 27 per cent in January.

In 2003, while drawing up proposals on how to deal with domestic violence, the government acknowledged that women leaving a violent partner would often require financial support. But, five years on, that support is still lacking, as Seon has discovered the hard way.

She was given shelter by a female friend who had also suffered domestic abuse. But her ex-partner was unwilling to surrender control. 'I was constantly being harassed by my ex-partner, but the police would not help me in any way.' Nor was she given any help by the local authority: 'Because I had a roof over my head at my friend's home, the local council would not register me as homeless.'

She decided that moving to a privately-rented flat in another town, well away from her ex-partner, was the best way to escape the abuse, even if it meant leaving her family and friends behind too.

But the abuse still didn't end: her ex-partner simply switched tactics, concentrating on financial abuse again. He falsely told the Department of Social Security that Seon was living off his money and was using his bank card, which led to her income, housing and council tax benefits being cancelled. With her mum's help, she made a new claim, but was still ordered by the DSS to pay back £1,200 for the previous cancelled claim. Then debt collectors and bailiffs started arriving at her door to collect on debts created by her ex, starting with the telephone bill.

'When I left this man, the last thing on my mind was cancelling the phone line along with most other bills. I also found myself having to pay for the furniture that the police had told me I wasn't entitled to take, and I had the bailiffs coming to collect money for council tax that was owed on the property we had once shared.' Paying for these old debts soon caused Seon to fall behind with payments for her current household bills.

Refuge's Nicola Sharp would like to see the government make some fundamental changes to the way people like Seon are treated, starting with the fast-tracking of welfare benefits. 'You can end up waiting weeks,' she says.

She would also like the Department of Work and Pensions to draw up a protocol for dealing sympathetically with women who have been forced to commit benefit fraud by their abuser, funding for specialist financial advisers within domestic violence services and a reassessment of the role played by the police in helping women to retrieve their belongings.

Thanks to the help and support of an adviser from Refuge, Seon finally managed to clear the worst of her debts and regain control of her life. 'I still have other debts to clear, but from the help and continued support, I have re-learnt how to budget in a realistic way,' she says.

But now her landlord, through no fault of Seon's, wants his flat back and the council cannot register her as homeless until the day she has to move out: Boxing Day.

• Names have been changed

Organise, save up and escape

How to survive financial abise, or help someone you know get through it

• Try to save up an escape fund. This may seem impossible to do without putting yourself and your children at risk if you have to account for all the money you spend, but Refuge suggests putting very small amounts aside over a period of time, asking family or friends to look after it for you.

• Set up a new bank account that your partner is not aware of. For safety, use a different bank, preferably online, and ask not to be sent a paper statement. Try to access your account from work, the library or an internet cafe rather than home. If you do have to use your home computer, make sure you clear your browser history after use. You could arrange to collect new cards from your local bank branch.

• If you don't have time to build up a cash fund, ask a friend of relative for money. You may be able to get a 'crisis loan' from your local benefits office - anyone who does not have enough money for urgent expenses can apply and you don't have to be on benefits to be eligible.

• Before you leave, gather together financial documents and those that provide proof of your identity. That means payslips, P45s, P60s, your passport, your National Insurance number, bank statements, chequebooks, documentation relating to the ownership of your home (mortgage or tenancy), receipts for furniture and other belongings you may need to leave behind, utility bills and credit cards that are in your name, your children's savings books or details of their accounts, birth and marriage certificates.

Where to find help

If you are experiencing domestic violence call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. All calls are free and confidential.

Many women who have sought help from Refuge have said that they were unable to find any information on the financial help available to people in their position, or how to prepare for leaving a home where abuse is taking place.

Refuge, supported by the HBOS Foundation, has produced a comprehensive guide called 'You can afford to leave: A financial guide for women and children experiencing domestic violence'. You can download the guide from Refuge at refuge.org.uk. If you would prefer a hard copy, write to Cash, The Observer, 3-7 Herbal Hill, London, EC1R 5EJ, telling us where you want the guide to be sent.

Refuge's website has a secrecy button so you can access the site without your partner finding out.