And to Think That I Saw It on Pollock Road

I don’t do drugs, nor do I condone their use. I prefer to live my life according to the words of Marcus Garvey. “The man who is not able to develop and use his mind is bound to be the slave of the other man who uses his mind.”

But dudes, Friday was 4/20, the high holy day of the stoner population. And I don’t know what those guys were on, but I thought it spread across campus and I had caught a whiff of it. I saw some freaky stuff on Pollock Road by the HUB, and second-hand dope seemed like the only logical explanation.

Hamster Wheel
I was able to snag a pamphlet describing whatever the hell this was. According to the document, not only was the device handled by a dance team, it was a dancer itself. It can manipulate the dancers as the dancers manipulate the machine. Dude… I wasn’t high when I saw that, but whoever wrote those words and built “Dance Vehicle 1” clearly was.

Green Man
Everybody loves Green Man. When he’s not goofing off in the sunny streets of Philadelphia, he’s handing out flyers about sustainability in front of the HUB. You could just ignore him like you do with all the other clubs, but hey, it’s Green Man.

Ladybug Bug
Undeniably the scariest thing I have witnessed since Human Centipede. The insect had a creepy, high-pitched robotic voice that asked you to celebrate Earth Day and congratulated passing bikers. The toddlers on Pollock Road were undoubtedly braver than me handling this lovebug.

The FalconerShaver’s Creek brought in birds of prey to either educate or frighten the public about Mother Nature. It was cool to see my favorite animal from childhood, the Great Horned Owl. It was not cool knowing that this animal could snap at any moment and rip out my eyeballs and tongue.

Litter Tree
It’s like the tree partied at the Meridian on State Patty’s Day. Members from the CED Club on campus decorated the tree with recyclables they found in the trash right outside the HUB.

In all seriousness kids, give a hoot, don’t pollute.

Interpretive Dance
Just as I was about to leave, dozens of dancers spontaneously broke out in interpretive dance. They weren’t there for the Hamster Wheel. They weren’t there for Earth Day. They were just there, and it was creepy.

About Author

I am a staff writer for Onward State. I graduated as a Nittany Lion with Honors in 2013. After spending one year in exile in suburban Philadelphia, I return to Happy Valley to earn a degree at the Dickinson School of Law. Outside of politics and government, my interests include college football, soccer, Irish history, astronomy and advocating the elimination of the Oxford comma.