"Walking in Memphis"

"Walking Through the HPER"

The Lyrics

If you're going to have someone tell you you can't park somewhere when you can and get hit on by a gay guy in the locker room you might as well write a parody about it. HPER stands for Health, Physical Education and Recreation and is pronounced "Hyper."

Put on my swimming trunksAnd I jumped in the poolDried off with a towel in the locker roomBut the situation wasn't cool

He's so mamby-pambyAnd he's looking right at meHe's got an extra towelBut he's queer as a boy can be

Walking through the HPERWalking with my trunks dripping on the floorWalking throught the HPERTell me how to get to the front door

Dried off and got dressed quicklyAnd I headed for the doorI really didn't want the towelSo I dropped it on the floor

Security won't see him'Til the next time he comes inHe'll be waiting on his knees, waiting just for meDown by the laundry bin

Walking through the HPERWalking with my trunks dripping on the floorWalking throught the HPERTell me how to get to the front door

They've got flamers in the weight roomThey've got fagots in the poolAnd if someone tells you you can't park thereThen he doesn't have a clueThat parking's free on weekends

Now there's more queers at the HPERThan there are in HollywoodAnd every time I see himHe asks me if I would

He said: "Are you a homo"?And I ran with all my mightHe said: "No I mean are you homesick"?And I said: "Sir, I am tonight"

Walking through the HPERWalking with my trunks dripping on the floorWalking throught the HPERTell me how to get to the front door

Put on my swimming trunksAnd I jumped in the poolDried off with a towel in the locker roomBut the situation wasn't cool

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