My Dad Always Says…

On Mother’s Day I posted a tribute to my mother, extolling her twenty-five most awesome attributes. I could make a similar list about my dad, but I’d rather do something new. So, here’s a list of things my dad always said/says. My dad isn’t very fond of pithy sayings, so some of these had to be distilled from sentiments he lived by, but most of them he said directly. I hope we can all glean something from the gathered wisdom of JK Stanley.
Here we go:

1) “Ask your mother.”

2) “Always have a sermon in your back pocket” (This has come in handy on at least three occasions).

3) “When you know, you know” (Said in response to any questions about love, dating, and marriage. More helpful than it sounds.)

4) “It doesn’t matter how you make the fire as long as the fire gets made” (This igneous philosophy has led to some creative fire-building techniques, but Dad always considered eyebrows as optional, anyway).

5) “Go ask your mother.”

6) “A son is a son until he’s married, but a daughter is a daughter for her whole life” (I don’t know what this means).

7) “Nothing should ever be preached from the pulpit except the gospel-” true, and this statement has shaped my preaching more than any book I’ve read or lecture I’ve listened to.

8) “If I was down to my last crust of bread, I’d split it with my kids” (Alternately stated as “If I was down to my last dollar…”).

9) “Stop drinking; you’re gonna float down the river!” (This was his way of telling us we would wet the bed)

10) “Don’t tell your mother!”

11) “Don’t eat too much salt or you won’t be able to pee” (It was years before I realized that this was a bald-faced lie).

12) “I’ve always said I can learn from my kids” (Strangely, I’ve never heard him say “I can learn from my kids,” just “I’ve always said I can learn from my kids”).

13) “Where’s your mother?”

14) “Always keep a comb in your back pocket” (Even though I often keep my hair so short I don’t need a comb, I still tend to carry a comb in my back pocket).

15) “The Stupids step out!” (He said this every time we went on a vacation. We all hated it.)

16) “Watch out for deer!”

17) “You don’t have a curfew, but the car has to be back by 11” (These last two tended to be said together, sometimes with the statement, “I can get a new car, but I can’t get a new Daniel”).

18) “Is your mother home yet?”

19) “Your family’s your family; can’t get away from them.”

20) “A boy’s a boy, two boys is half a boy, and three boys is no boy at all.”

Dad, you’re very wise and you should say more things. I love you and I’m proud of you- happy Father’s Day!