You must: Drive an air-cooled 911

There are certain things we all need to do before we die. Driving an air-cooled Porsche 911 is one of them.

My first time in an air-cooled 911 was a lot like my first time having sex: I didn't quite know what I was doing, it was over much too quickly, and I wanted to do it again as soon as possible. Such is the car's magic.

Driving one for the first time, like falling in love or having a child, fundamentally and permanently changes you. I discovered this a few months ago, just before my 45th birthday, when I test-drove a 1997 993. It's cliché—Midlife crisis! Get a Porsche!—but I'd wanted one for a while. "Your first Porsche must be air-cooled," a friend, an expert on such things, told me. "Because. Air-cooled."

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I had no idea what he meant, but I trust him in all matters automotive. And so it was that I found myself sitting in a garnet 993 with a black interior, a broken door-check strap, and enough chips and dings to have obviously been enjoyed, but not loved.

Countless writers have waxed poetic on the peculiarities of old 911s, but you can't appreciate just how weird these cars are until you've driven one. Your first time is sensory overload. Rounding a corner and realizing all of the weight is behind you. Feeling the übercommunicative steering. Adapting to a windshield that's inches from your nose, an ignition mounted on the left, and pedals hinged at the floor, all of which are archaic yet somehow awesome.

That thought was settling in when I hit 5000 rpm in fourth and the VarioRam intake went whoosh! At that moment, the car whispered to me. It cut straight through the salesman's inane patter to the pleasure center of my brain, and I thought, I could have a lot of fun with this car.

I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes later, thanked the salesman, and with one last look back at the 993, left.

"Well?" my wife asked. I didn't know what to tell her. It was a crazy jumble of thoughts and emotions held back by wide eyes and a silly grin. I had my answer an hour later, when I realized that I couldn't stop thinking about what the car had to say. My life had been fundamentally and permanently changed.