Confessions of a pastor's kid

Directly to Jail

Sometimes I wish I was a policeman rather than a pastor.

Every police officer just smirked and said “You wish..” in their heads…

I don’t really want to be a policeman policeman if it means giving people traffic tickets and having to carefully explain to today’s generation that driving 90 km/hr in a school zone IS unreasonable and unlawful and likely to result in the deaths of children, and NO it’s not a violation of their human right to be pulled over and told they’re not above the rest of society whether instagram tells them they are or no.

Sure they have awful days of dealing with nightmarish situations.

Sure they put their lives on the line daily.

Sure they have to deal with psychopaths.

BUT, they look cool in uniforms and get to carry guns! I would feel much more manly if I had one I think? That or I need a big truck.

While most people are decent and reasonable….

Ya’ll in perfect honesty there are times I wish I could fire a gun in the air just to interrupt a small percentage of people from doing the silliest possible thing at the silliest possible moment…

I wish I was a Police Pastor.

Just imagine how difficult it is to watch people just before they run out in traffic and the societal necessity of raising my voice with just the right mix of respect and nicety or they’ll get offended and do something even worse, just to teach me a lesson?

Give me some beefed up SWAT truck and a ridiculously loud siren and I’d put the fear of God in ‘em!!! Maybe the clerical collar (I don’t wear) could be turned into a form of cool looking flak jacket with tons of velcro pockets for combat stuff (I have to say stuff because I have no idea what to put in there other than my Carmex).

Also just taking people to spiritual jail would be amazing (not unlike dropping your kids off at daycare)! “Here! There’s a problem with this one this morning. Now he’s your problem:)”

But sadly sometimes dropping someone off and checking their box, while easy, isn’t the right thing to do.

No, the human race is a mess and we’re all in the rehabilitation squad together. Meaning, we all need to take responsibility for each other and at least try and help each other get on track and stay on track.

I spent most of my life in industry and worked with people who definitely had no background or use for church for the most part and that always bothered me until I understood why:

Someone had a bad experience with Police Church.

Wearing a backwards hat? Don’t come to THIS church, we’re not in a gang.

Struggling with sin? Fix it or hide it first.

Done something horrible? THIS church is for people somewhere between horrible and perfect, but mostly those who (think they) are perfect.

“Here are all the reasons you should feel bad about yourself but good luck changing” sermons.

Go directly to spiritual jail, don’t pass GO, and don’t collect $200.

Not that $200 can buy much today…

I realize I had a great experience with Hospital Church where broken people come and get fixed, where nobody cares what music is playing in the waiting room at the ER (church lobby), as long as they can find some hope inside. Where we get healed enough to don scrubs and help the next one. You get it.

It all depends what you think it’s there FOR.

Does the government exist to provide purpose and fulfill MY dreams or does it exist to fix the roads?

Does the school system exist for my consumption or for my training?

Does my job exist to meet all my emotional needs or to help someone else with a product they need, and maybe buy food and shelter for my kids?

Does my marriage exist to get love or to give it?

I’ve found that if one approaches life as a consumer they will reap very little of what they really want in the end because one can only reap what one sows, not what one doesn’t.

I think anyone in the rehabilitation game realizes our first order of business is the shift down at the bottom of society. Consumers are born, producers are formed.

The only other option is Neverland,

but Neverland is creepy when Peter Pan is thirty and still squeezing into green tights…