Level 10 Camwhore

really huge titty ****

Someone must have acgreat timesulated a ****load of PepsiPoints to get this. Unfortunately, as amazing as this thing would be to fly, with gas prices what they are you’d have to be a millionaire to take it out for a day trip.

Dropped at DragonCon ‘07, these gloves carry with them a legacy of whispered legends and flights of fancy. Some say that the actual Mark Hamill wore these the day before he went on the set of Star Wars for the first time, while others say that they were created late one night by Darren Aronofsky.

Some 300 pound guy probably made these for the Ye Old Renaissance Faire.

Pickled male reproductive organ-bum

Level 10 Camwhore

AHAHA HEADSETS

All photographs were taken by me, released into public domain.

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Toe Nail Clippings

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In WWII, sometimes kamikaze pilots would put a collection of clippings in a box to be buried in the event that they didn’t return. These aren’t pilot clippings, just some clippings from some filthy miscreant, but its an interesting story, isn’t it?

Ppwn shoppe price: 2

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Dismantled Video Game

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These are the sad remains of what can only be a failed attempt to hack a clbumic video game for a top score.

Ppwn shoppe price: 15

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Bottle Opener Keychain

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I once saw MacGuyver make a welding torch out of some rubber bands, paper clips, fabric softener, and one of these. You never know when it might come in handy.

Ppwn shoppe price: 10

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Lock Pick Kit

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick… um… dang, I got nothing.

Ppwn shoppe price: 1505

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Dirty Dishes

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My roommate says these have been sitting around since before HE moved in. I think perhaps they house the embryo of a larval deity.

Ppwn shoppe price: 146

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Defunct Textbooks

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You know, the only thing that changes from volume to volume is the homework problems. Still, you gotta get the new ones every year. What a rip off.

Ppwn shoppe price: 307

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An Old Shoe

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Men’s size 12. This shoe isn’t actually old, it was built from recycled goods so it looks shabby on purpose. Unfortunately you only got the right one, its counterpart is nowhere to be found.

Level 26 Permanoob

OH GOD WHAT THE **** IS THAT MY HEAD JUST GOT DECAPITATED

I declare that all of the following pictures were taken by myself, and are public domain.

Broken Sandal

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In its 3-year life tromping through mudflats, forests, beaches, landfills, dirt roads, dog turds, and stagnant pools, it has been washed a grand total of once. The cultures on this thing have launched an appeal to be granted independence as a nation.

Ppwn shoppe price: 9 flezz

Very Small Dog

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Sure, you have to feed it, listen to it yap, play with it, bath it and clean up its turds, fur, parasites, drool, etc, but when it grabs the instant attention of every girl within a 5-mile radius with a simple tail wag, you’ll agree it’s well worth the trouble.

Ppwn shoppe price: 3146 flezz

Stack of Burnt DVDs

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“Yarr, .mp3s off the port bow! Stand by ta board ye olde thepiratebay.org fer sum luting and plundrin’!” More stolen data than you can shake a hard drive at, this’ll keep you entertained for YEARS. Now, which disc has the granny porn?

Ppwn shoppe price: 417 flezz

Wooden Figurine

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Man, I’d sacrifice a few ribs to be able to do that too…

Ppwn shoppe price: 14 flezz

Bunch of Wooden Flowers

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Show her I care? Screw that, any idea how much flowers cost these days? Besides, this is more symbolic, these ones will never die! Um, unless termites strike.

Ppwn shoppe price: 23

****in’ Pimp Hat

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Regardless of how awesome this hat is, no, you will NOT ever be a pimp, and yes, you’re still ugly.