Obama orders a military crackdown on Republicans

Following Republican attempts to seize the Senate, Obama has ordered a nation-wide military crackdown, pushing the divided nation closer to the breaking point. Two prominent Republican lawmakers have ‘disappeared’ while hundreds more have been arrested or gone into hiding. Mitch McConnell is believed to be somewhere in Missouri, sheltered by his militant supporters.

Democrat Militias have reportedly clashed with Republican supporters in several major urban centres following the crackdown and amid a surprising lack of military assistance.

The military has been slow in carrying out the President’s orders leading some veteran analysts to wonder about a potential ideological split in the military itself.

“The army has long contained elements sympathetic to the opposition” says veteran Reuters analyst Hanz Gourdier. “What we are seeing could be signs of an ongoing purge, or of the generals waiting to consider their options. Civil Unrest always presents opportunities for the generals to come out on top.”

As of November, even before the recent unrest, the government had already lost control of most of Texas. There has long been secessionist groups operating in that region, and they seem to have allied themselves with the resurgent Republicans under the umbrella of “Republican Secessionists”. The ideological split between the two remain deep however, with infighting having the potential to destroy the new unified front.

Obama has publically called for calm amid the crackdown. Concern remains however, over just how much control the Democrat Party is able to exercise over its loyalist militias. If they are unable to enforce restraint on their own fighters, what hope is there for a deescalation?

Masked Gunmen opened fire on a crowd of protesting Republicans on Tuesday, drawing condemnations from the Democrat Governor who called the perpetrators “Criminals of the worst sort”. By Thursday however, after a personal call from the President, he referred to the crowds as ‘hiding terrorists’ and claimed that new evidence showed that the gunmen may have acted in self-defence.

The crisis has highlighted the divides in American society, with a history of hatred going back hundreds of years. Many academics speculate that simmering unresolved tensions left after the Civil War are largely to blame.

In the anarchy, religion has been making a comeback. Despite their influence having been dwindling for a long time, religious leaders are seeing a new resurgence of support as their rival community’s solidify in the face of external threats. The President has met Baptist, Lutheran, and Catholic leaders supporting his presidency, giving them large cash grants to be redistributed amongst their people. After meeting with religious leaders in Texas, the president flew to Utah, meeting with Navajo tribesmen. Traditionally marginalized and massacred by Republicans, the Navajo are some of the strongest supporters of the current government.

Navajo tribesmen provided crucial assistance to the federal forces that crushed the nationalists of the “Free Mormon State” five years ago. Violence still occurs sporadically with the remnants of the Mormon Front occasionally planting bombs and leading attacks on military and civilian targets.

The unregulated Navajo militias have been accused of human rights abuses and indiscriminate attacks on Mormon communities. Some believe that the Mormon Front leaders in exile will try to make common cause with the Republicans though they too have historically been political rivals.

Originally formed for self-protection, Hispanic militias in predominantly Latino areas have been reluctant to choose sides. There remains internal division on whether to demand concessions from the government in the chaos or to gamble everything for the dream of establishing “Nuevo Mexico” (a new nation) or “Greater Mexico” (to join Mexico). The United Nations has accused Mexico of arming “Greater Mexico fighters” and using its influence to stoke nationalist feelings amongst the Mexican militias. This has led to greater tensions between the ‘Mexicans’ and the ‘South’ and ‘Central’ Americans who tend to be split evenly along Republican/Democrat lines but united in their fear of oppressive Mexican dominance.

Smaller groups, Asians, Muslims, Hindus, without the numbers to defend themselves, have been forced to flee North looking for safer areas. San Francisco being an exception to this where Chinese fighters have managed to create ‘pure Chinese’ neighbourhoods for Chinese Americans fleeing the violence. China has been implicated in financially supporting such groups though it claims to have stopped after the infamous ‘Korean Town Massacre’ when exploding ethnic tensions led to the massacre of almost thirty Koreans at the hands of Chinese fighters.

Many analysts blame the current problems on the artificial borders of the United States, created by distant Europeans. The vast plurality of cultures and ancestral hatreds may be to much for the current government to overcome, as the cracks seem to be indicating. Perhaps it would be better off with more representative borders and a nation for all the major ethnic groups.

The North East seems to so far be the only region that has maintained a degree of stability and a strong majority of government support. A rash of murders, presumably inspired by sectarian hate, are threatening that stability. Bill DeBlasio the mayor of New York, has called for more troops to be deployed in his city to help maintain the peace and disarm the sectarian militias. Such troops however, have not been made available, hinting at a potential leadership struggle between the powerful Mayor and the President himself, or perhaps between the Civilian leaders and Military generals.

The signs for the nation as a whole are not good. As of press time, a series of terrorist attacks had just rocked Seattle, attributed to resurgent Cascadian nationalists, inspired by similar attacks carried out by the “Mid-West Evangelist Freedom Fighters” last week.

Pundits fear a Balkanization of the ‘United’ States, leading to a massive multi-sided civil war with the government losing control of swathes of the country.

Canada is massing troops along its borders, afraid of violence spilling over. No matter how many troops are on the border though, they cannot stop the unravelling situation from accentuating sectarian divides in Canada. Opposing sectarian protests, inflamed by American violence, have clashed in Toronto and Ottawa. It is a tense situation that The Lapine will be following in our thoughts, prayers and over-sensationalized coverage.

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The Lapine is Canada's Best Satirical Online Newspaper. It satirizes politics, life, media and the human condition, with a special focus on Canada.
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