So, since this is the final day for Planet Earth as we know it, I recommend that all of you in far flung places spend your last savings to come see us rock out the Rapture. How better to spend your final hours if you're one of the faithful, or to prepare for seven years of torment and the coming reign of the Anti-Christ if you're not?

For those of you with pets who want to know what to do with Fido or Felix or Crackers the parrot after you are taken up to meet Jesus in the air, we recommend Eternal Earthbound Pets or After The Rapture Pet Care. These kindly atheists have set up organizations to lovingly care for the pets of the faithful after Jesus calls their owners home.

Filming on Shoplifting From American Apparel has been going nicely. Yesterday we shot a whole bunch of scenes on Hollywood Boulevard near Vine. Weird homeless-looking people kept trying to walk into the shots. We had two guys tell our director they would pray for him to go the Hell because he wouldn't give them some of the granola bars he'd bought for the actors and crew. We had a human beatbox try to beatbox his way into the production. Oh the fun of Hollywood!

So, one of the Norse Pantheon was bored with Valhalla and assumed a human form. He picked up a young tart, who happaned to have a lisp, at the local pub and she took him to her apartment for the weekend for a good marathon shagging.

It seems that there is another group on the scene with a new perspective in disputing Camping's prophesies. They make a compelling statement that "Jesus is here now." Check out their billboard which I think will stir the pot a bit.

"The comments of each past individual are wholly irrelevant to the original intention of the National Master, and they do not accord with the fundamental teaching of the Buddha-Dharma. It is pitiful that the old drills of the past have each blundered on in error.".

Try reading it aloud to yourself as to fully penetrate the entire depth of its meaning.

(- You could first try with one exclamation mark, and then gradually add the other two; - but do try and be considerate of the neighbors, as they might be unable to fully appreciate your "artistic" ;) efforts)

the cartoon, 144,000 JWs will rule 'what' with Jesus/Micheal? Sorry for being a dumb wit, but if the rest of us heathens are going down, and the worlds a shambles an all, what they going to rule? Nothing?