Entries in relationship quizzes
(10)

How quickly are you supposed to "get over" a breakup, anyway? Sex in the City fans should remember Charlotte's Golden Breakup Rule, "It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them." But in real-world breakups, that rule doesn't always apply. A lot depends on whether you were the dumpee or the dumper and how things went down. So, how over it are you? A little? A lot? Find out with today's relationship quiz!

Editors' note: This quiz is part of a project on great relationships conducted by contributor Melissa Schneider, LMSW, and is not supervised or conducted by ScienceOfRelationships.com, other contributors, or the academic institutions affliliated with contributors to the site.

Have you ever gotten really bad relationship advice? I certainly have. I remember reading one book that suggested I ignore fourth-fifths of a man’s text messages and emails to make him crazy about me. Apparently, the authors thought dating only desperate guys would be a good idea.

I’ve also seen friends worry over personality differences between themselves and a partner. “Does it mean we aren’t compatible?” they wonder. Even though a large-scale study conducted in several countries found that having “compatible personalities” has hardly any impact on relationship satisfaction,1 the concept remains popular. The idea that certain couples have “compatible personalities” just sounds true—look at astrology and E-Harmony’s matching system—so it continues to masquerade as “good advice.”

If questionable advice is easy to find, where can you turn for good advice about dating and relationships? Relationships always involve uncertainty and trial-and-error, but knowing where to focus your attention can help. Decades of relationship research points to a set of “predictive factors,” or special traits and experiences that best predict relationship success. If you know your predictive factors and pay close attention to those areas as your relationships unfold, you’ll be prepared to make better decisions about your love life.

I’ve been on the trail of these “predictive factors” for a while now, and have written about four of them already—commitment, love, satisfaction, and closeness. Today I’m going to unveil the fifth. This one is interesting folks. It hasn’t been studied a lot, but in one huge analysis of 37,761 dating couples, it surprised everyone by emerging as the top predictor of long-term relationship success.2 I love unexpected results like this—it’s a good thing when scientists are surprised, right?

Before I pull back the curtain, why don’t you take today’s relationship quiz. It’s short, just 15 multiple-choice questions, and the personal feedback at the end will give you some insight into where your own relationship stands in this critical area. I recommend taking it now, before reading further, so you can give your natural responses.

Editors' note: This quiz is part of a project on great relationships conducted by contributor Melissa Schneider, LMSW, and is not supervised or conducted by ScienceOfRelationships.com,other contributors, or the academic institutions affliliated with other contributors.

Maybe you’ve been there—you meet someone, you fall hard, everything seems to be going so well, and then, like a failing EKG on House, things slowly...die. You see each other less. Texts linger unreturned. If you’re lucky, you have “the talk.” If you’re not so lucky, you just wonder what’s going on for a few months. Ugh.

Are you dating someone and finding yourself wondering, “Where is this going?” You can easily measure your current level of commitment to the relationship to make an educated guess about whether you guys will stay together. It’s not magic. It’s not a gimmick. It’s just statistics. Give it a try: Take our relationship quiz. (I recommend you take the quiz before reading further so that you can give your natural responses.)

Editors' note: This quiz is part of an informal project on great relationships conducted by contributor Melissa Schneider, LMSW, and is not supervised or conducted by ScienceOfRelationships.com, other contributors, or the academic institutions affliliated with other contributors.

I think we can all agree that the word “Commitment” gets tossed around a lot. Will he commit? She has commitment issues...We all say it, but what does commitment really mean? To some, it means not cheating, and for others, it means dating exclusively or maintaining a marriage. For most of us, commitment involves some sort of obligation or promise to the other person.

Last time, I talked about how to predict the future success of your relationship armed with nothing but your smartphone. Today, I’ve turned the findings I discussed, like the link between certain text messaging habits and relationship satisfaction, into a quick online quiz. This quiz will give you some perspective on how your relationship is doing. Why not bring the science-talk to life, right?

If you're in a relationship you can take the quiz. Go on, you know you want to know! If you aren't seeing anybody at the moment, consider sending this along to a friend or colleague who is. We'll update you later about the results!

Editors' note: This quiz is part of an informal project on great relationships conducted by contributor Melissa Schneider, LMSW, and is not supervised or conducted by ScienceOfRelationships.com, other contributors, or the academic institutions affliliated with other contributors.

There are lots of decisions to make when you’re in a relationship. Some are mundane: what to eat for dinner, which movie to go see, or where to go on vacation. Other decisions are more important for the development of the relationship: when to say I love you, when to have sex, whether to move in together, and whether to have children.

Okay kids...School is about to start up again and it's time for another quiz (see the last Relationship IQ Quiz here). The theme of this quiz is "relationship success" versus breakup in dating relationships. What predicts whether relationships stand the test of time or go down in flames?

A while back I answered a reader’s question about beliefs in soulmates, based on studies of "implicit theories of relationships." With this post I want to follow-up by describing the measure that's used to assess implicit theories and give readers a chance to score themselves on those items.

Previously we posted about the self-expansion model and relationship development. How does your relationship stack up?

Not Very Much 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Very Much

How much does being with your partner result in your having new experiences?

When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of him or her?

How much does your partner increase your ability to accomplish new things?

How much does your partner help to expand your sense of the kind of person you are?

How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?

How much do your partner’s strengths as a person (skills, abilities, etc.) compensate for some of your own weaknesses as a person?

How much do you feel that you have a larger perspective on things because of your partner?

How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things?

How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?

How much does your partner increase your knowledge?

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Scores

60 and above — Highly Expansive. You are gaining a lot of new experiences and reaching new goals as a result of your relationship. Chances are you have a happier, more sustainable relationship as a result.

45 to 60 — Moderately Exciting. Your relationship has led to moderate improvements in your life and some new experiences. But there’s definitely room for improvement.

Below 45 — Low Connection. Your relationship is not creating opportunities that help expand your knowledge and make you feel better about yourself. Make an effort to share new experiences with your partner to improve your relationship.