Questions we'll never know the answers to....

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1. Why does the DooMGuy run at the speed of a supersonic yellowjacket on fast-forward?
2. Why can't this guy ever look up or down?
3. Has the UAC declared jumping illegal? Because the DooMGuy never does.
4. Who cleaned up the big mess after the DooMGuy left the Phobos Base?
5. What do the Little Blue Potions taste like (see Liam's poll)?
6. Where does the DooMGuy put all the weapons he gets at?
7. Why would the UAC build a base that has computers sticking out of the walls and that has "secret areas" built in?
8. How does the DooMGuy reload his gun the minute he picks up some ammo?
Feel free to try and answer these. Good luck! ;)

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1. Why does the DooMGuy run at the speed of a supersonic yellowjacket on fast-forward?
2. Why can't this guy ever look up or down?
3. Has the UAC declared jumping illegal? Because the DooMGuy never does.
4. Who cleaned up the big mess after the DooMGuy left the Phobos Base?
5. What do the Little Blue Potions taste like (see Liam's poll)?
6. Where does the DooMGuy put all the weapons he gets at?
7. Why would the UAC build a base that has computers sticking out of the walls and that has "secret areas" built in?
8. How does the DooMGuy reload his gun the minute he picks up some ammo?
Feel free to try and answer these. Good luck! ;)

1. He eats his wh33ti3s
2. Because he has MS
3. Yeah, automatic death by carrot muffins for that one.
4. Commander Kl33n
5. latex juice
6. He sticks thme up his ass
7. Because they have m4d bu1ld1ng sk1llz
8. Err... go home and wash your pants

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Q:
--
1. Why does the DooMGuy run at the speed of a supersonic yellowjacket on fast-forward?
2. Why can't this guy ever look up or down?
3. Has the UAC declared jumping illegal? Because the DooMGuy never does.
4. Who cleaned up the big mess after the DooMGuy left the Phobos Base?
5. What do the Little Blue Potions taste like (see Liam's poll)?
6. Where does the DooMGuy put all the weapons he gets at?
7. Why would the UAC build a base that has computers sticking out of the walls and that has "secret areas" built in?
8. How does the DooMGuy reload his gun the minute he picks up some ammo?
--

A:
1. Because he has a date with Mindy at the Pizza Palace at 8 PM.
2. He suffered critical neck injury after trying to "be his own Monica". Hey, we've all tried this one time in our lives... haven't we ?
3. Jumping might cause slight tremors that would make their collection of 12,000 million kabillion crates come down, causing the Universe to collapse on itself.
4. Donna Jackson.
5. Dr. Pepper.
6. Don't ask.
7. Because Phobos Base was designed by crazy pudding farmers who escaped from Pine Hill Mental Facility (read: John Romero). It was cheaper that way, allowing them to buy even more featureless crates.
8. Really, REALLY fast.

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1. Why does the DooMGuy run at the speed of a supersonic yellowjacket on fast-forward?
2. Why can't this guy ever look up or down?
3. Has the UAC declared jumping illegal? Because the DooMGuy never does.
4. Who cleaned up the big mess after the DooMGuy left the Phobos Base?
5. What do the Little Blue Potions taste like (see Liam's poll)?
6. Where does the DooMGuy put all the weapons he gets at?
7. Why would the UAC build a base that has computers sticking out of the walls and that has "secret areas" built in?
8. How does the DooMGuy reload his gun the minute he picks up some ammo?
Feel free to try and answer these. Good luck! ;)

1. Hmm..not sure he runs THAT fast. Maybe he's get really long legs or something.
2. He might break his neck? :)
3. They prbably did, so they wouldn't see Marines bouncing up and down through the halls. The DooMGuy probably remembered this and thought he'd get in trouble if he did.
4. Maybe the corpses just disappeared afterwards and respwned on Deimos?
5. Cherry Coke. :)
6. Better not say.
7. Blame it(reality-wise on John Romero. Game-wise, blame it on the demons for warping the reality of the base.
8. He's got quick fingers, apparently.

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1. Why does the DooMGuy run at the speed of a supersonic yellowjacket on fast-forward?
2. Why can't this guy ever look up or down?
3. Has the UAC declared jumping illegal? Because the DooMGuy never does.
4. Who cleaned up the big mess after the DooMGuy left the Phobos Base?
5. What do the Little Blue Potions taste like (see Liam's poll)?
6. Where does the DooMGuy put all the weapons he gets at?
7. Why would the UAC build a base that has computers sticking out of the walls and that has "secret areas" built in?
8. How does the DooMGuy reload his gun the minute he picks up some ammo?
Feel free to try and answer these. Good luck! ;)

1. Railguns slugs fit more that description.
2. Elephants broke his neck on his visit to the zoo at the age of 9.
3. They are just a bunch of angry one-legged pirates.
4. Arty, the Janitor from Hell.
5. Root beer. This has been answered before.
6. Down the corridor, door 3.
7. !
8. !

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1. Why does the DooMGuy run at the speed of a supersonic yellowjacket on fast-forward?
2. Why can't this guy ever look up or down?
3. Has the UAC declared jumping illegal? Because the DooMGuy never does.
4. Who cleaned up the big mess after the DooMGuy left the Phobos Base?
5. What do the Little Blue Potions taste like (see Liam's poll)?
6. Where does the DooMGuy put all the weapons he gets at?
7. Why would the UAC build a base that has computers sticking out of the walls and that has "secret areas" built in?
8. How does the DooMGuy reload his gun the minute he picks up some ammo?
Feel free to try and answer these. Good luck! ;)

1. It's a game
2. It's a game
3. It's a game
4. It's a game
5. It's a game
6. It's a game
7. It's a game
8. It's a game

See my infinite genius?

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1. Why does the DooMGuy run at the speed of a supersonic yellowjacket on fast-forward?
2. Why can't this guy ever look up or down?
3. Has the UAC declared jumping illegal? Because the DooMGuy never does.
4. Who cleaned up the big mess after the DooMGuy left the Phobos Base?
5. What do the Little Blue Potions taste like (see Liam's poll)?
6. Where does the DooMGuy put all the weapons he gets at?
7. Why would the UAC build a base that has computers sticking out of the walls and that has "secret areas" built in?
8. How does the DooMGuy reload his gun the minute he picks up some ammo?
Feel free to try and answer these. Good luck! ;)

1. It's a game
2. It's a game
3. It's a game
4. It's a game
5. It's a game
6. It's a game
7. It's a game
8. It's a game

See my infinite genius?

Dammit!! As I was reading this thread, I thought, I'll just write 'It's a game 8 times'. Ah well, Great minds think alike.

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1. Why does the DooMGuy run at the speed of a supersonic yellowjacket on fast-forward?
2. Why can't this guy ever look up or down?
3. Has the UAC declared jumping illegal? Because the DooMGuy never does.
4. Who cleaned up the big mess after the DooMGuy left the Phobos Base?
5. What do the Little Blue Potions taste like (see Liam's poll)?
6. Where does the DooMGuy put all the weapons he gets at?
7. Why would the UAC build a base that has computers sticking out of the walls and that has "secret areas" built in?
8. How does the DooMGuy reload his gun the minute he picks up some ammo?
Feel free to try and answer these. Good luck! ;)

1) becasue hese an athlete
2) Becasue that would require exdra lines of code that id didn't want to write.
3) Those boots are heavy
4) i did
5) like a mikes hard lemonade
6) in his pants
7) becasue they needed a place to smoke there cronic
8) uac technology

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Seems like Fraggle realized there's a Caps Lock on his keyboard.
Liam: This "fight", as you call it, will be pretty one-sided. I win, Fag-gle loses.
Fraggle: Better pack a lunch to take to the hospital. It's gonna be a long stay. For that matter, better bring supper along too.
Go go, Captain Logic!(?)

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Liam: This "fight", as you call it, will be pretty one-sided. I win, Fag-gle loses.

Once again, you are the king of originality

Fraggle: Better pack a lunch to take to the hospital. It's gonna be a long stay. For that matter, better bring supper along too.

I see, giving personal threats now, are we? That says a lot about your mentality. Pathetic.

Oh yes, coming onto someone else's perfectly fine thread and bombarding it for no reason at all is extremely logical. I wonder where you get your great knowledge, oh thou with the duncecap so high.

I made my post because I was fed up of reading these stupid posts he keeps making. I'm not an intolerant person and one post alone like this might be slightly funny, but he KEEPS POSTING THEM. A quick review of the Post Hell archives reveals:

"Strange things..." - where Doomboy comments on how you dont hear the Doom guy breathing in the game.
"Heh" - where Doomboy wonders at how the Doom guy keeps "getting himself into these situations"

Now, I realised these are supposed to be jokes but the fact is THEY ARENT FUNNY. They were probably funny in the first thread you posted but when we end up in the 500th thread along these lines it really goes beyond funny and into the realms of IRRITATING. I would thought you would have taken the hint by now from the fact that half these threads end up in Post Hell.

My suggestion to Doomboy is this: find something better to do. Learn to make levels or code to hack the doom source or something. CONTRIBUTE something to this community instead of starting inane threads like this.

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Dumbass, I WASN'T trying to be FUNNY. You, sir, are the pathetic one if you can't discern between observations and funniness.
Need I remind you, too, that saying Post **** is forbidden anywhere on these forums? Say goodbye to Mr. Post-Count, Mr. Originality.

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Really? I assumed it was a joke because I found it hard to believe that even someone with your level of mental deficiency could be seriously wondering "why is it that the doom guy cant look up and down? or jump?". Ah well, guess I was wrong.

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1. Ask Esco!
2. He is a big grunt guy, muscles and all that shit, he has no room for a neck!
3. His balls are holding him down, they are two heavy to jump with.
4. The tiny evil cleaning robots from Anarchy Onine.
5. Dog Semen
6. In his pants..
7. Becuase the UAC is a credit card company..They hid the money in there
8. He is too l337..

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For the last time, Fagboy, I wasn't wondering, I was OBSERVING. Say it with me now-OBSERVING. There. I hope you're small mind can comprehend this. You might do it. Then again, you ARE fraggle', so maybe not.
Mental defiency? I'M not the one who said Post ****, fool!!

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The aim of your posts is inconsequential. My point remains that they are irritating and pointless, and I know for a fact I am not the only person who reads these forms and feels this way. Did you ever stop to wonder exactly why Ling set your custom title to "stupidity cannot be concealed"?

As for the Post Hell comments, I'm aware of the rule and as far as i know it only exists to stop people crying "post hell!" trying to get posts sent there. In any case if Ling does decide to reset my post count, I really dont care. I dont post here enough for it to be of much consequence to me. I dont view my post count like a penis extension like some people on this board do.