Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before, “A first date feels a lot like a job interview.”

I believe the stress that is involved with meeting a stranger for the first time we tend to equate the experience to one that most people can relate to. Which is why most first dates have the feel of a job interview. Imagine a scenario in which you are in a room where everyone is on a job interview at the same time. Not only are you on a consistent interview process, but every ten minutes the process starts over with a new potential partner. I am not referring to a Job Fair, but an experience that is known as “Speed Dating.”

We’ve all seen commercials, movies and TV shows that depict people in a “Speed Dating” situation. Many times the scenes have a comical element to them. Typically, the scene involves two people sitting across from each other who look like they come from completely different backgrounds. They try to find a common ground by asking random questions to each other, only to find out that the woman used to be a man or something else to make you laugh. The most recent commercial that portrays this rather well is by eHarmony in which a woman looks up to find a man sitting across from her with his face painted in black and white. That commercial makes me laugh because even though it stretches the truth to several degrees, it does accurately symbolize the “Speed Dating” experience.

As someone who has participated in this experiment, I can honestly tell you “Speed Dating” in real life is exactly how it is made to seem on TV. I am not here to insinuate that a person will sit across from you with their face painted in a Gothic theme. However, be prepared to meet someone who has decided that they will pretend to be someone who they are not in real life.

Maybe it is the stress of meeting several people in a short time frame? Or maybe after being asked the same questions over and over again, they decide to create a new personality to change-up the momentum? Who knows and who cares? Just understand that first impressions are key to any new relationship and in some cases that first impression may come in layers. You might just have to peel the first couple of layers to get to the real person.

We all judge someone from the first time we see or meet them. Is this fair? No, but it is human nature. Understand it, appreciate it and try not to worry about it. It is a fact of life. Think about the first time you met your boss, he told you about the job you were interviewing for and when you started that job, you realize that there is more to it than what you were told. It is the same with dating and/or relationships. We start with one impression of the person that we have chosen, only to find out that there is more to the story. At that point, we must decide is this for me or do I want something else?