Hi everyone. I haven't been around for a while. I have been depressed and confused and dealing with a relationship ending after 12 years. I'm left here on my own now with the dogs and Twitch and it has been a struggle. It's hard fulfilling everyone's needs and working 8 hours a day. Especially Twitch... he demands so much attention to be happy and he's been really difficult for me lately. I feel so badly because it's not his fault.

But on a happy note, I have been talking with a very caring guy who is helping my heart to feel a lot better after this whole break up. The difficult part though-- I'm still here alone and lonely because he is 2,000 miles away on active duty in Iraq. Ahh, such is life.

So, I wanted to drop in and say hi. Some of you have checked in on me and I appreciate it.

Thanks everyone. The support means a lot. I'm going to ramble since I haven't talked about this a whole lot.

Yes, the breakup has been rough for me. Phil and I started dating when I was just a baby-- still in high school. So, we have been together my entire adult life. I am now 29 and feel like I'm starting at point zero. It's really weird. Funny how once you're OUT of the relationship you can look back at it from the outside with so much more clarity. It seems I have all the classic symptoms of being in a nonproductive relationship for too long. But now I can see I'm worth so much more than that. I really just can't wait for the heartache to be gone. I mean, luckily this didn't end on a severely bad note and Phil and I are on good terms, I guess you could say. He left and went to Minneapolis and I think him being gone gone helps my situation. So, in short, I still feel a little like I have a gaping head wound. But definitely nothing has helped me through this more than talking to Joe. He jumped in to be my distraction just when I needed it. I allowed myself a couple of months to hurt over the breakup and now I am starting to feel the upswing. I've known him for probably about 8 years and there are so many things I admire about him. He's happy to be my distraction for now and I can be his while he's over in that shithole. We'll see how that works.

I'm sure things all fall apart and fall back together for a reason, and we just need to hold on to the things we know are real.

ParisStreetPitCrew wrote:Thanks everyone. The support means a lot. I'm going to ramble since I haven't talked about this a whole lot.

Yes, the breakup has been rough for me. Phil and I started dating when I was just a baby-- still in high school. So, we have been together my entire adult life. I am now 29 and feel like I'm starting at point zero. It's really weird. Funny how once you're OUT of the relationship you can look back at it from the outside with so much more clarity. It seems I have all the classic symptoms of being in a nonproductive relationship for too long. But now I can see I'm worth so much more than that. I really just can't wait for the heartache to be gone. I mean, luckily this didn't end on a severely bad note and Phil and I are on good terms, I guess you could say. He left and went to Minneapolis and I think him being gone gone helps my situation. So, in short, I still feel a little like I have a gaping head wound. But definitely nothing has helped me through this more than talking to Joe. He jumped in to be my distraction just when I needed it. I allowed myself a couple of months to hurt over the breakup and now I am starting to feel the upswing. I've known him for probably about 8 years and there are so many things I admire about him. He's happy to be my distraction for now and I can be his while he's over in that shithole. We'll see how that works.

I'm sure things all fall apart and fall back together for a reason, and we just need to hold on to the things we know are real.

Thanks for the vent. Missed you guys.

OMG this breaks my heart but I am glad you are standing on your own and moving on. I will miss my Phil but HELLO JOE!!!!

Be careful though my sweet, don't rush in to anything just to fill the void. I did that years ago and left a path of destruction behind when I realized what I was doing. Luckily the guy I hurt ( who actually was and still is a dear friend) is now happier than I could have ever made him.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Debby, thanks so much for your advice. I'm a pretty cautious girl by nature and I don't feel like I'm rushing into anything at all. I'm just choosing to enjoy myself right now and take ME time-- time to notice and appreciate all of the wonderful, beautiful things around me. Being single is such a new and exciting thing-- like a study in the psychology and behavior of the human being. I am so much more perceptive of the goings on around me. Hindsight is a very weird thing... I feel like I spent much time in a non-productive relationship. Of course it wasn't all bad, but now that I'm out I can really focus on me. I'm re-learning a lot about myself.... and I'm one awesome chick!!