Are You A "Benevolent" Sexist?

Don't be so sure

You love your girlfriends, outrank plenty of men at work, and wouldn't think twice about electing a female president. Sexist? You? It's quite possible, finds new research on a tough-to-detect variety of gender discrimination—called "benevolent sexism"—that might very well be more harmful than we'd suspect.

University of Florida researchers examined benevolent sexism among nearly 400 college-aged men and women. Unlike the kinds of overt gender discrimination most women would blanch at, benevolent sexism can actually seem quite benign: In essence, it's the idea that "women are wonderful, but weak," says lead study author Kathleen Connelly, PhD, a professor in the department of psychology at the University of Florida. "Benevolent sexism shows up all the time, in this attitude that women are warmer and kinder than men, but at the same time weaker and [needing] to be cared for."

As it turns out, men and women are equally prone to holding benevolently sexist values (the idea that men should always open doors, or earn enough to support a woman, are two common examples). After surveying study participants, Connelly and her colleagues concluded that men were more likely to identify with hostile sexist ideas, but women and men were equally likely to identify with benevolent sexism.

Past research suggests an explanation: Benevolent sexism actually enhances our perception of society as a whole, and our own life satisfaction. In other words, benevolent sexism makes women feel better about the status quo. "The world isn't fairly structured, but benevolent sexism helps us feel like it is," Connelly explains. "In turn, that makes us feel better about where we are in our own lives."

Here's the problem, as researchers see it: Benevolent sexism might improve our outlooks, but the attitude can carry significant downsides for women. Several studies have shown that when women read benevolently sexist comments, for example, they tend to perform more poorly on cognitive tests, express feelings of incompetence and weakness, and even experience greater dissatisfaction with their physical appearance. Not to mention, Connelly points out, it might even perpetuate current inequalities—disparities in pay, for instance—that women still experience.

There's no easy way to avoid benevolent sexism, but becoming aware that the attitude even exists—and might not be so benign—is an important first step, Connelly says. "We run into these moments, or make these little comments, all the time, but we rarely take note of it," she says. Jotting down every instance that pops up during a staff meeting or a night out is one simple way to tune into your own attitudes, and those of others. "Just building that awareness can make a huge difference," she says.