Weirdest signs from God
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From burnt toast to dog's rear ends, Moira Geddes takes you through some of the strangest signs from above.

news.com.au

24 Jun 2014

Lifestyle

Medieval memes ... the tales behind many Middle Age miracles are full of mirth and wonderSource: Supplied

FROM flying monks to magic breast milk, the mischievous world of medieval miracles is as strange as it is fascinating.

There are thousands of examples littered throughout learned tomes, from the Middle Ages through to the 1600s (and even more recently, such as yesterday’s tale of the blinking mummified child).

From easing ailments to exacting revenge, these stories of divine intervention were all meticulously recorded — usually as part of a push to have a pious favourite elevated to the status of sainthood.

Healing was the favourite and divine apparitions the norm, but some were more original — and bizarre.

While belief is very much in the eye of the beholder, here are seven of the most extraordinary miracles to come out of the Middle Ages.

Monky business ... St. Joseph of Cupertino takes flight in a painting by 18th century artist Ludovico Mazzanti.Source: Supplied

THE FLYING MONK

As high as a kite? St Joseph of Cupertino was certainly of elevated spirit as he had a reputation for ecstatic visions. It is written that the Italian Franciscan friar was so enraptured by a public sermon in 1660 that he broke into spontaneous flight. The black-clad monk is said to have drifted above the awed crowd before eventually settling back to earth. And he didn’t do it just once. His aerial antics drew the ire of the Inquisition and he was placed under close surveillance. But it is said to have been a repeat performance before Pope Urban VIII that saw him elevated to sainthood. Little wonder he’s now regarded as the patron saint of pilots.

Waskally wabbit ... St Bavo heard the pain of one of his followers, whose fields were being trampled by a rabbit and a knight.Source: Supplied

DEFENDER OF THE FIELDS

Miracles are not just lofty matters for monks. They also come into play for farmers in the form of pest control. The Miracles of Saint Bavos of Ghent (Belgium) has this example of divine intervention in the fields:

“A knight chasing a young hare trampled the growing crops. A servant of the saint grieved at this and said, “Alas St Bavo, why do you not defend your field?” As soon as he said this, the knight fell and broke his hip. The young hare stumbled and broke its neck.”

They see him here — and there ... St Martin de PorresSource: Supplied

MULTIPLE St MARTIN

Too much work to do? Need to be in two places at once? Then Martin de Porres is the miracle worker for you. This Dominican lay brother was renowned for his miraculous ability to heal patients as the 16th became the 17th century. But this made him particularly popular, and in high demand. Soon he was reportedly seen popping up in places he simply could not have been — such as Mexico and Japan while he was still home in Peru. He presented detailed accounts of his trips as evidence of his parallel timelines. He was canonised in 1962.

Holy succour ... the appeal of magic breast milk can be found in many myths from the Middle Ages.Source: Supplied

Excessive expression is something of an embarrassment to mothers who find their bodies responding to their babies’ needs. Not in the case of the Virgin Mary. A shot of milk in the eye of medieval monk St Bernard of Clairvaux filled him with “divine graces” and “purified all his sins”. St Bernard went on to establish the Cistercian order of monks and launch the Second Crusade.

In fact, so prolific was Mary mother of Christ’s lactation that it has supposedly drenched a holy grotto near Bethlehem. It’s powdery-white walls have been seen since medieval times as the remains of her milk. People still visit this site to mix the chalky substances in their drinks in order to conceive or improve the condition of their children.

Marauding hares and knights aside, it’s not all easy for farmers when it comes to saints. One overly-diligent labourer got hit comeuppance after refusing to halt work for St Apollinaris’ special feast day. John Haver ignored the religious order to rest and instead went to work in his fields. He cut his foot with a sickle, though he insisted it was just an accident. The next year he again skipped the feast. This time he hurt his hand “by chance”. But when his knife fell from his belt as he slipped and stabbed him in his thigh, he finally accepted the infallibility of divine intervention. He refused to work on that day ever again.

Devil inside ... Saint Guthlac took the strap to one of his region’s nobles, and evicted a demon from his mouth

WHAT A BELTER

Divine discipline doesn’t only come in trips and slips. For one Lincolnshire Saint, it came in the form of his belt. Saint Guthlac was known for his miracles of healing. But in this instance, a demon had to be exorcised. A local nobleman named Egga appeared afflicted with an incurable madness which brought upon bouts of extreme violence. Saint Guthlac cast his belt around the lunatic lord and squeezed until a demon popped out of his mouth. The cured Egga then went about his way.

Frozen in time ... this saint has apparently declined to decay since her death in 1879.Source: Supplied

THE INCORRUPTIBLE St BERNADETTE

This one’s not medieval, but it’s worth a note anyway. Rising from the dead is a central tenet of Christianity. But what about someone who’s not quite all the way yet? The body of one nun was exhumed in 2012 — more than 130 years after her death. Bernadette Sourbirous, of Lourdes, was found to be untouched by the “corruption” and decay normally associated with such a state. Her flesh was still firm but flexible, and was said to have shown no sign of embalming. While she had earned sainthood for receiving visions from Mary, mother of Christ, in life, she has since become renowned for her suspended-animation state in death.

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