Used To

I used to always say,
I would never ever,
Be backslidden some day.
I used to always say,
That would never be me,
No how, no way.
I used to always say,
I refuse to give up,
That I was here to stay.
I used to always say,
That I have faith,
That I could never go astray.
Some would always say,
Going to church sometimes,
That is still okay.
But it wasn’t okay for me,
I got weak in faith,
And I needed strength you see.
I’ll go this Sunday I said,
But it seemed to be much easier,
To just lay out instead.
I couldn’t believe that I slipped,
Just fell right through the cracks,
That my faith and strength was stripped.
It was no one else but my fault,
I just let it all go,
His strength I never sought.
I knew I needed to get back,
But I would fight myself,
And my world started to turn black.
It got to where I prayed less,
I stopped talking to God,
And refused to think my life was a mess.
I knew they could see it in my eyes,
They would ask me questions,
Most of them I tried to deny.
Depression started to seep in,
And I was given pills,
And I was living a life of sin.
I just got tired of the sorrow,
And not for sure where I’d go,
If I happen to die tomorrow.
The fight for God was deep down,
But I needed a new church,
But one hard part was looking around.
It took a scary moment one day,
That turned out alright,
To bring me to my knees to pray.
I realized that I missed being on fire,
I missed depending on God,
And hearing the sweet songs of the choir.
I used to pray about everything,
Depending on His guidance always,
To his side I would always cling.
So I beat myself and went on Sunday,
I felt as if he was right beside me,
To the altar I had made my way.
I prayed for God to hold my hand,
To give me His strength,
After falling, I could finally stand.
The tears felt so good on my face,
I was turning my life back around,
Nothing had felt as good as his grace.
I know that I’ve learned my lesson
I never want to be where I was,
Cause having God in my life is such a blessin’.
I know coming back won’t be easy,
Now I have another battle,
Between good and evil in me.
But I have my Lord to guide the way,
To be a light unto my path,
To help through every day.