Top Ten Reasons You Failed the Dreamcast

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Why did you make Sonic cry?

By The Floigan Bros.

Welcome to week two of IGN Dreamcast. In just a handful of days, this little site has grown to become the #1 destination for people who still play Dreamcast. Though this is glorious news, we need to talk about a more serious matter. It's time to face the harsh truth: The Dreamcast didn't fail; you failed the Dreamcast.

How? Glad you asked. Let's not beat around the bush. There's a reason the Dreamcast is no longer in production and it's a weight that all SEGA fans must bear. How do you know if you were responsible for the Dreamcast's fate? Take a look at our top ten reasons for failing the Dreamcast. If you meet a single one of these ten reasons, you are, directly or indirectly, responsible for SEGA's decision to leave the console market. Your punishment -- Demand the return of the Dreamcast and vow, "Never again!"

10. Thought a Bandicoot made for a damn fine mascot 9. Failed to install a GD-ROM drive in your new computer 8. Used maracas as egg beaters 7. Did not name your first born Sonic, Knuckles or Yu Suzuki 6. Thought Sega Swirl was some sort of foreign epidemic, like the bird flu 5. Believed the hype behind the "greatness" of dual analogue sticks 4. Never replaced the batteries in your VMU -- That "Beep" was the sound of you pulling the plug on SEGA's dreams 3. Refused to browse the web with SegaNet -- Not even for porn 2. Only bought one or two copies of each game 1. You just didn't want it enough