(Seinfeld voice) What's the deal with those Fox Sports Southwest Girls (pic) that are on Ranger broadcasts?

A not-so-exciting Driving While License Invalid appellate opinion released yesterday which involved Boyd police and the Wise County Court at Law.

A lawyer coming from Denton to Decatur yesterday got lost and ended up in Runaway Bay, and I laughed about it when he called the court for directions. Once he made it, he saw me in the hallway, ask me if I remembered him, and then told me how he beat me in a criminal trial 15 years ago. That gave me Failed Smile.

Someone sent me this from Parker County. Two kids go missing from Bridgeport (perhaps with a female relative) and, although it's worthy enough to get an "Endangered" flyer published, we've otherwise heard nothing about it?

It's kind of like going into Walmart and seeing a million "missing kid" flyers but then one child can't be found in Ohio and it becomes national news.

The George Zimmerman special prosecutor may know what she's doing, but when she says her decision to prosecute was not influenced by public opinion, we know she's lying.

Zimmerman was charged with Second Degree murder instead of First Degree. In Florida (I think), First Degree requires premeditation while Second Degree just requires intent to kill. That distinction does not exist in Texas which has nothing called "premeditated murder."

But Trayvron's mom shocked everyone this morning on The Today Show when she said, "I believe it was an accident." Wow. And yesterday she made the amazing statement of, “We want him arrested, and equal justice under the law. We don’t want no more, no less.” Does that mean she is satisfied with just an arrest?

Did you see any of those photos of the crazy -- and I do mean crazy -- hail in Amarillo yesterday? Unreal.

I've spent a lot of my life jacking around with weedeater line. And that includes yesterday evening.

Natural gas prices dropped yesterday to the lowest price in 10 years. That's bad news for Wise County, right?

The fired Arkansas coach who was having an affair with one of his 25 year old female underlings would often call or text her with his state issued cell phone. Of course, those records are now public. That's 4,300 test messages and over 300 phone calls over a seven month period. Is he secretly a teenaged boy?

A blurb in the Morning News yesterday said a young girl had died while test driving a moped in Dallas. I'm almost positive this is her twitter feed which is morbidly fascinating.

I thought the Rangers signed a closer in the off season?

Did Dale Hansen speak in Bridgeport last week? I could have sworn I heard him on the radio casually mention it. I heard he's pricey.

4.11.2012

I saw this paragraph in a Decatur police report that I was reviewing today. While processing a DWI suspect in the middle of the night on 12/4/11, they were called out to help with a major accident. It doesn't say where, but normally Decatur cops would only assist for accidents within the city limits.

CRAIG COUNTY, Oklahoma - A 73-year-old Craig County woman was arrested Monday after sheriff's deputies searched her home and found marijuana and $278,000 in cash. A four-month investigation led investigators to what they say is the biggest player in the Grand Lake area drug trade.

"We feel like this is a really big operation," said Sheriff Jimmie Sooter.

The money was seized along with four pounds of marijuana from a house and vehicle four miles east of Vinita off Highway 60.

The amount of confiscated cash is staggering. The suspect is surprising: Darlene Mayes, a 73-year-old grandmother . . . .

Investigators say older folks are becoming more active in drug trafficking. They don't raise as much suspicion and more are turning to drugs as a way to make extra money in their golden years.

"Don't put an age limit on the investigation, because anything can happen," Floyd said.

Hey, if some grand-ma-ma wants to be the AARP version of Pablo Escobar instead of baking muffins and knitting quilts, then more power to her. You think you can survive on social security these days? No way. She understands economics. So she builds up a little nest egg of a quarter of a million dollars and then here come the cops roughing her up worse than Ben Stiller did to Happy Gilmore's grandmother. Took her money. Took her cars. Probably took her cup of warm milk. There just ain't no respect for your elders anymore.

If you were eastbound on 114 at the Texas Motor Speedway you had a headache this morning. An overturned tanker truck had you rerouted south on I-35. Beating.

The heck with Yu, the Rangers fifth starter, Neftali Feliz, was fantastic last night. Of all the pitchers, I figured he had the most potential for a meltdown.

I'm kind of surprised the University of Arkansas fired its head coach over his "inappropriate relationship" and/or "inappropriate hire" with an engaged 25 year old. But if you followed the story, you'll laugh at this picture of him leaving town.

Mark Cuban at least thinks he's always the smartest man in the room. Lamar Odom (who like his wife is being paid for doing nothing) proves he's not.

Odd prediction for former WBAP host Mark Davis: I bet he gets in the religion business. Over the last couple of years, he's talked about his faith more and more. And, oddly, he and Glenn Beck have been spending more and more time with ex-televangelist James Robison.

Is Fredrick's Of Hollywood still around?

I hope the 17 Wise County volunteer fire departments who will each receive an equal share of the$196,374.99 recently raised at a fundraiser have a good checks and balances accounting system.

A owner of an Arlington strip club puts out a hit on the Mayor of Arlington and a lawyer and it becomes a federal crime? What happened to the could old days when murder-for-hire was always in good ol' state courts?

If you could go to Vegas and bet on Romney or Obama to win the November election, would you really put any significant money on Romney?

I was able to impress the Family Unit last night by being able to name the new Justin Bieber song at the dinner table last night. And by "impress", I mean "horrify."

A van carrying 19 illegal immigrants crashed last night in South Texas killing nine of them.

In 1987, eighteen illegal immigrants suffocated to death in a Texas railroad boxcar as they were being smuggled into Texas. That prompted KLIF's David Gold to say they "got what they deserved" which got him reprimanded but not fired. I would hope he would be fired in 2012.

The Trayvon Martin case turned bizarre yesterday when the former attorneys of shooter George Zimmerman went all Gloria Allred on us and had a press conference they had no business of giving. But they did provide a couple of shockers: They don't know where Zimmerman is, he had met with the special prosecutor against their advice, and he had met with Sean Hannity as well.

The Messenger will have a feature this weekend on Thomas Aaberg, Wise County attorney who advises the Commissioners' Court, who will run the Boston Marathon on Monday.

Edit: On the Liberally Lean Pick 'Em. Winners 1-4 have been identified and chosen their prize. I'll get to #5 and #6 today. I used the Yahoo! tie breaker system of "closest score" for the final game.

4.10.2012

Look, I don't condone violence. Everyone knows I'm a lover, not a fighter. But this thing was hypnotic. I kept waiting for it to start and trying to guess who was going to get involved and then . . . boom! . . . it's like a Saturday night tag team match at the Sportatorium. Absolute insanity. And there is no question that the chick in the white shirt would have had me laid out seeing stars in under 10 seconds. Absolute beast.

But the highlight might be the gal running in to help out her friend at the 1:19 mark. Those dancing shoes don't grip like Air Jordan's, do they?

Edit: A faithful reader pointed out that TMZ has a video of one of the gals from "Texas Women" getting in a fight in the stockyards.

Mark Davis is gone from WBAP. Jeff Bolton is gone from WFAA KLIF. Grubes is gone from The Ticket. And Cumulus is no longer carrying the syndicated "Coast to Coast" (the former Art Bell show -- "East of the Rockies, you're on the air.")

Money must be tight at Cumulus. At least we thought it was until the above SEC filing.

I wonder how Davis and Bolton feel about "free market" and "capitalism" now?

The pastor of the huge Fellowship Church, Ed Young, is far more concerned with publicity than anything else. First he spends a weekend or more with his wife on a bed on the roof of his church, and on Sunday he had a caged tiger on stage. Then again, it might be appropriate for that circus act he's got going on.

Yu Darvish got rocked in the first inning last night and got this close to being pulled. I'll give him credit for settling down and then going another four innings (but, man, there were a lot of hard hit balls in those later innings that went straight to Ranger players.)

You think with the bases loaded, two runs in, and one out in the first, Nolan Ryan thought, "$100 million? We paid $100 million."

Fox Sports Southwest missed the first pitch on Opening Day and the first two pitches of the Yu Darvish start.

I didn't matter to me. I missed the first part of the game because Mrs. LL got stranded with a dead battery.

Remember the Watagua lady who walked off from a mid-cities pool party in the middle of the night two years ago and ended up getting hit and killed on Highway 183? Well, the cops think they found who hit her on or near the highway and indicted him. And I'll give credit to Mrs. LL for finding this very uncomfortable Facebook entry by the deceased's husband (at least a comment is uncomfortable.)

Yeah, yeah, Baylor basketball - both men's and women's - may be sanctioned by the NCAA for phone and text message violations over a five year period. The funniest comment I say yesterday was, "If the Baylor Bears want to get past the Elite Eight, they are going to have to have bigger violations than that."

I made reference to the "water sprinkler dance" yesterday and there was a fat guy who caught a Ranger home run in the grassy knoll last night who broke out into it.

4.09.2012

Let's all assume that chick is OK and now has a healthy respect for a jet engine.

You know, I posted about that beach a couple of years back. Of course, I couldn't find that post because searching past Blogger posts (hosted by Google) with Google is absolutely worthless. That's one of the Internets great mysteries. Anyway, the cool part of this beach is not standing behind that beast when it's taking off, it's waiting for them to come in. I could spend a whole vacation there. I even checked out that hotel in the background a couple of months back. Mrs. LL didn't quite share my excitement. Sheesh. She gonna let Tiffany show her up? ....

I'm generally not a fan of the streaker/man-on-the-field/whatever because it's very 1970ish. I mean, seriously, if you are going to stop down thousands of people in the audience you should at least have a little originality. And that brings us to the 10 second mark in this clip. Maybe the ol'-start-the-lawmower bit has been around a while, but it's a new one to me.Well done, young man. Well done. Adam West would be proud.

And check out these Baltimore cops. They are so busy chasing real criminals (Hey, I've seen The Wire) that the last thing they are going to do is run around a field under the sun because of some jackwagon. Just wait for the Caped Crusader to get himself in position and then, BOOM! POW! Their work is done.

You'd think Bubba Watson would have a smokin' hot wife. Uh, not so much.

WBAP has deleted any reference to Mark Davis on its website. If I'm one of the boys over at The Ticket, I'm a little nervous that parent company Cumulus believes there are no sacred cows.

Mrs. LL pulled out a big hat yesterday for Easter. I got tickled at myself for immediately going into a Michael Scott southern accent from an Office episode and proclaiming, "I do declare!!"

I'm a huge fan of The Three Stooges, and I absolutely cringe at every commercial for that new movie.

I don't think teen bride Courtney Stodder understands how you are supposed to dress at Easter.

Thought about Mike Wallace's death: He was down at Cowboys camp a few years back to do a segment on then coach Bill Parcells. Later in the day, Parcells was asked in a press conference who he most admired and Parcells said Mike Wallace (who he allegedly didn't know was in the audience.) Sucking up, no doubt, so that Wallace would put him in a good light on 60 Minutes. It worked.

I can't exactly say I've got a lot of others to judge it by, but this has to be the worst cheap shot on a guy standing on second in a community college game in the history of ever.

Hey you second and third place winners in the Liberally Lean Tourney, you better email me back or you're going to forfeit your prizes to those below you.

I got to see the last hour or so of The Today Show on Friday- the part which is co-hosted by Kathy Lee Gifford. It's like a Saturday Night Live bit making fun of Kathy Lee Gifford.