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This lesson is on How to reconcile with others when you are the offended party.

Confront small things right away – SOS 2:15 – don’t let anything build between you and other people, particularly family.

Pray for him or her – Matt 5:44 – God can do abundantly more than you can do to soften an offender’s heart and prepare your heart – it’s better to talk to God than yourself.

Don’t talk about it with others – Prov 25:8-10 – talking about how another person has crossed you only fuels the fire and stokes you up [or lets off steam] and spreads the tale – others with whom you speak cannot solve the problem and the problem is really just between you and the other person.

Do not take vengeance on him or her – Rom 12:18-21 – be ready to help him, instead – it is too easy to be overcome of evil and to escalate the conflict into a war of mutual retaliations – rock fights are not conducive to reconciliation.

Go to him or her – Lk 17:3-4 – be patient and wait for the perfect time to do this – sufficient time may be later in the day or it may be next week – patience gives you time to cool down and it gives time for your prayers to work – but plan on having a face to face talk that you initiate if he doesn’t come to you while you are praying.

Don’t attack the person’s character; just deal with the conflict – Prov 25:12 – rebuke him specifically for the trespass so that there is no mistake what needs to be reconciled – he may see the situation differently than you do and a clear, succinctly stated rebuke will be needed for him to know exactly what the problem is – this is the way to regain favor [Prov 28:23].

Be firm and get right down to the business at hand – Gal 2:11-13 – Paul withstood Peter to the face, but he didn’t destroy his relationship with him when he did – Peter still considered Paul his beloved brother [2 Pet 3:15]

Be ready to forgive but don’t be a door mat – Lk 17:3-4 – we are to forgive again and again if need be – but when you are confronting bad behavior be sure not to set yourself up to be trampled on again and again [see how Paul handled free-loaders, for instance, 2 Thes 3:10-15].

If your child has caused the conflict, he or she may have to reconcile with God first – Lk 15:17-19 – Children have a way of taking advantage of you – if your child just seems the least bit sorry or pitiful, you are prone to forgive everything and run to his or her aid – and he or she is prone to live off you for the rest of your life – you must be firm with your children.

Conclusion: Reconciliation is a good thing and often requires the offended party to make the first move – so this is how to make the best attempt at reconciliation.