Men are from Mars, Messi is from Jupiter

The Nigerian coach Stephen Keshi claimed that Lionel Messi ‘is from Jupiter’ after the Argentinian striker scored two incredible goals in their 3-2 win against Nigeria yesterday. It’s possible that Keshi was speaking figuratively, but Messi’s goals really were out of this world, and it’s rumoured that Fifa have called in an expert to investigate further. A spokesman from the Argentinian camp said Messi was unavailable for comment at this time as he was trying to phone home.