Demonstrators at an anti-Brexit protest in Trafalgar Square, London on 28 June 2016.
Photograph: Justin Tallis/AFP/Getty Images

Having overwhelmingly voted remain, Britain’s younger generations now face the long-term consequences. We’ve expressed our despair in satirical gifs and memes, but the time for mourning is over. We need to organise, and fight for our future.

Like many of my peers, I reacted to the referendum result with something resembling the seven stages of grief. It started with denial: going to bed at 4.30am on Friday morning thinking, “Maybe I’ll wake up and it’ll be OK.” Next came guilt: “I should have done more.” That was quickly replaced with anger – “How could so many vote to leave? Shame on the liars who conned them into it!” – followed by an overwhelming sense of sadness as the stories of emboldened racists rolled in.

Then I saw this message on social media: “Don’t mourn, organise. Don’t scorn, organise. ORGANISE.” There’s nothing like shouty capitals to jolt you from an impending spiral of depression (stage four).

At the same time, some younger leavers were reacting to Nigel Farage’s epic backtrack from pledging £350m per week to the NHS. Paradoxically, Brexit seemed not just to have divided us; somehow it might have simultaneously spun a common thread.

Because, just days after the shock result, there’s a rising sense of indignation – across the counties and classes so divided by this process – that politicians and some media outlets have duped a huge number of people. And, ironically, this has created a commonality lamentably absent during the referendum. It’s only an ember, but I’ll embrace even a smouldering cigarette butt of hope at this stage. Cue stages five and six of my grieving process: an upward turn, followed by reconstruction. In honour of that, here’s my offering of seven stages of social change.

Change means different things to different people. It could mean a second referendum, or ensuring the deliverance of the bold promises made by Vote Leave. For me, it means knitting the frayed edges of our country back together with a united, progressive movement. Whatever change you’re seeking, its prospects are bound to improve if you engage. Don’t worry if this is new to you: it’s abundantly clear from Farage, Johnson and Gove’s game of pass-the-Brexit-poisoned-chalice that these fellas don’t have a clue. So you might as well have a pop yourself.

First, determine your aim. I’m not just talking about “remain in the EU” – what’s the thing you’re really worried about? The NHS being dismantled? The degradation of our education system? A widening of the north/south divide? And what would you like to see instead? Dream big; don’t think small.

Second, map out the landscape. My view, for what it’s worth, is that Brexit is a symptom of a deeper, ongoing problem. The campaign mirrored a broader political trend: deeply misleading messages by politicians and media, which target disenfranchised voters and divert them from the real causes of their unhappiness. Sound familiar? If that doesn’t resonate, there’s a glut of alternative opinion online. And, perhaps more importantly and joyously, suddenly a whole generation is talking about our future. That’s got to be a good thing, so join in.

Third, find the weak points of those causes of your unhappiness, and see how you can turn those obstacles into opportunities. There are cracks in the elitist political establishment, and the clamorous victory calls from pro-Brexit media outlets have a tinge of desperation to them. That’s where I’m going to start.

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Fourth, identify your allies and targets. With whom can you team up to share skills and resources? You don’t have to agree on everything (really, that road leads nowhere – ask the People’s Front of Judea). Read manifestos, attend community groups, go to protests, talk to friends and family. At uncertain times like these, small numbers can make big changes. And whose opinion do you need to influence to bring about the change you want to see? Yep, that would be some of the leavers.

Fifth, find your strengths. In your allegiance, what are you best at? Your unique sweet spot (the place where you can make the most difference) is determined not by what you want to do, but where your skills meet a community need.

Sixth, communicate. As the stories peddled by tabloids start to disintegrate, we have an opportunity like never before to occupy a public space with our counternarrative. And here the younger generation is at a distinct advantage: our ability to communicate with one another through social media is unparalleled. So tweet, Snapchat, Thunderclap – whatever floats your youthful, tech-savvy boat.

And finally, stage seven. Quite unlike stage seven in the grieving process (acceptance), the key to effective social change is dogged determination in demanding the impossible. Do your thing over and over again, until you succeed. I’m not denying that the looming prospect of Brexit is terrifying. But we are where we are. Grieving and gifs of leavers depicted as the turkeys who voted for Christmas get us nowhere. So don’t mourn, don’t scorn: organise.