SERIES: 31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #28

#28: Honesty is not always the best policy. Some things are better kept to yourself.

When we started dating, we didn’t do that thing where you ask each other all about past relationships. I tried, but the hubs told me, “We’re not going to do this. You don’t want to know; I don’t want to know.” I didn’t believe him and begged him to answer a question for me. He said, “Don’t ask the question if you don’t want to hear the answer because I am going to tell you the truth.” I asked anyway, he told the truth and he was right – I didn’t want to know! From then on, as long as neither one of had conceived a child or contracted an STD before meeting each other, our pasts were our own to keep.

This also goes for infidelity. If one of us were to cheat, just once, realized it was a huge mistake and would never do it again, keep it to yourself unless it resulted in the conception of a child or an STD. The only reason to confess to your spouse is because you feel guilty. Confessing the truth to your spouse will make you feel better for about 5 seconds and then make your spouse feel awful for a long time. The trust would be broken and might not be repaired. Keep it to yourself; the guilt you feel is your punishment, your penance.

OK, that last example just might have blown your mind and/or you may completely disagree with me. He’s an easier one to swallow and you just may be able to relate to it. If your spouse worked hard to make you and your family a meal and you don’t particularly care for it, keep it to yourself. When you sit down at the table and don’t like the look of what’s on your plate, don’t make any comment. Try it first and you may be surprised.