Category Archives: Soul Care

We are able today to introduce the Music video to the song that has grown in the Christian community charts. What I Believe covers the decisioan we all have to make in our life and the reward that comes from it. The eternal Salvation with the Father, the Son and the spirit fulfills our calling as Human Beings. I hope you find peace and comfort in this video as I did

We are able today to introduce the Music video to the song that has grown in the Christian community charts. What I Believe covers the decisioan we all have to make in our life and the reward that comes from it. The eternal Salvation with the Father, the Son and the spirit fulfills our calling as Human Beings. I hope you find peace and comfort in this video as I did

A light was on in one office, even though most of the other offices had been dark for hours. The manager continued to work in the silence of the empty building, reviewing reports, studying numbers, responding to messages and emails that others would not read until the next morning. There was so much to do, so many responsibilities and so many decisions that would wait for the manager’s guiding hand.

The silence was broken as the manager was startled to see one of the employees standing at the door. The employee knocked hesitantly, one foot in the office and the other still in the hallway. “May I come in for a moment?” asked the employee.

“Of course,” smiled the manager, leaning back in the chair. “What are you doing here so late?”

“I had a lot of work to do and I wanted to catch-up,” said the employee. “If I get behind then it could impact our customers, and I don’t want that to happen. It’s my responsibility, and I want to take care of it. I know that’s what you would do.”

“You’re probably right,” the manager said with a laugh. “So what made you stop in here?”

The employee approached the desk, sat down in one of the chairs beside it and said, “I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Go ahead.”

The employee began, “You always work so hard, and you always take care of us. You come in early. You stay late. No matter how much you have to do, you always take time to talk to any one of us when we need you. You are so busy taking time for us during the day that you have to stay late at night to catch up on your own work. Yet, you never complain. You make us want to work harder and do better, and you give us every opportunity to be successful. You are an inspiration to the rest of us, so what inspires you?”

The manager’s eyes widened, “Wow, well that was quite a surprise. I appreciate the kind words and admit that you completely caught me off guard.”

“Well?” persisted the employee, “What is your source of inspiration?”

The manager was silent for a moment, carefully contemplating the response. Then the manager stood up and said, “follow me.”

As the manager and the employee walked down a row of cubicles, the manager started to point into them one by one. The cubicles belonged to the colleagues of the employee. “This person is a single parent and comes to work each day to support two children. Those children need someone to look up to, someone to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. This person doesn’t work for me, this person works for them.”

The manager paused at the next cubicle and said, “This person is a grandmother who is working days so she can pay for her college education at night. She doesn’t need a degree and it won’t make any difference for her career. She is already past retirement age and she could quit at any time. She wants that degree to make her children proud and to give her grandchildren someone to look up to. She doesn’t work for me, she works for them.”

The manager moved to the next cubicle and said, “This person is overqualified for the job. It would be easy to leave for another company, probably get a promotion out of it and earn better pay. Why doesn’t this person leave? After eleven years working with the same group of people, it is like a family. This person doesn’t work for me, this person works here for all of you.”

The manager paused at the next cubicle and said, “This person has a family to support. Two kids in school, a mortgage, two car payments, and a whole host of obligations that comes with taking care of a family. Needless to say, you know that this person doesn’t work for me.”

The manager pointed down the line of cubicles, “That young man is engaged to be married, and he is saving up to buy their first home. That next person has a daughter in college. The next one wants to build a career out of this experience. The one after that wants to be a musician and only does this job to earn enough money to pay the bills.”

Walking into the corridor, the manager paused and smiled as the custodian came around the corner. “This person barely speaks our language, but comes to work every day when everyone else has gone home. More than half of the money earned will go to family members who do not even live in our country, while this person keeps only enough to pay for food, shelter and transportation here every day. This person comes into my office and takes away my trash, not for me, but because it is what needs to be done to earn the money that goes to a family that lives hundreds of miles away.”

“And then there is you,” said the manager with a big smile. “You have your own reasons for coming in here every day. When I need a source of inspiration, all I have to do is look around me. I am surrounded by it. Inspiration comes from recognizing what is important to the people around you and making it your own. If I can feel the dedication that these people feel for their children, for their families, for their hopes and dreams, then I have all the inspiration that I need. They are inspired by their own sense of purpose, and I am inspired by them. Just as you believe that you are inspired by me, I am inspired by you.”

Words of Wisdom

“Inspiration may be a form of superconsciousness, or perhaps of subconsciousness – I wouldn’t know. But I am sure it is the antithesis of self- consciousness.” – Aaron Copland

“Leadership is based on inspiration, not domination; on cooperation, not intimidation.” – William Arthur Wood

John Mehrmann is a freelance writer and President of Executive Blueprints Inc., an organization devoted to improving business practices and developing human capital.www.ExecutiveBlueprints.com provides resource materials for trainers, sample Case Studies, educational articles and references to local affiliates for consulting and executive coaching. www.InstituteforAdvancedLeadership.com provides self-paced tutorials for personal development and tools for trainers. Presentation materials, reference guides and exercises are available for continuous development.

Even though my wife and I live in a society of choosing your own spouse, I realized now, years later, that I was part of an arranged marriage, GOD arranged it.

And for those who are still looking for a special someone, I understand that it can be lonely, All I can say is that if I met my spouse just 5 years earlier, neither she or I would have been good spouses and the marriage would have failed. The reason is that God had to groom me into a spouse that he would be proud enough to present to my wife. It may also be the same for my spouse too but to be honest, I know I was the one that needed the most training.

So you have found your special someone, now what. Honestly, it was not smooth sailing or riding off into the sunset as the movies show. This is when the true work began.

Wedding Tip#1. When we were married, We asked a very wise elderly minister in our church to conduct our ceremony. What was amazing to us, maybe not so much then, was that he was not a minister with the most poetic of wording laying empty – sound good- speeches and promises. He offered many blunt small tidbits of information that has carried us through the most difficult of times. Some may even come out later in this article, but he started the ceremony with one simple statement.

–How can two imperfect people create a perfect marriage without God–

A Godly and Healthy marriage is not a union of just two souls but a trifold union between God, your spouse, and you. The problem, when you combine 2 independent, set in their ways, raised differently, stubborn minded, imperfect individuals into one home, How can this work out for a lifetime if God is not present. This simple fact is easy to understand many years later, but I must admit, it was not always easy to see at the beginning

Wedding Tip#2: Pray for your spouse. Prayer is a very powerful way to show love. When we pray for someone, that is Love in action! Even more powerful is praying with your spouse. If you’re not praying together yet, ask the LORD to give you the timing and the words to approach your spouse about issues that are hurting your marriage. The right thing to say at the wrong time, still yields negative results. This doesn’t mean you walk around on eggshells afraid to express your feelings, but you trust through prayer that God will open up a window to discuss. Like mentioned before, I was not always perfect in this, and my marriage did suffer because I wanted it resolved when I wanted to resolve it, not when the time was right.

Wedding Tip#3: Watch your wedding video (or flip through the computer screenshots or the hard copy photo album) every six months, and try sometimes to repeat your vows to each other. I know I know. Your marriage is strong now, why do I need to do this? Trust me, Satan waits on the sideline, like a serpent, watching and patiently waiting until things are going good and you let your guard down, then he strikes with a vengeance from every angle he can. Create a short wedding video even if your wedding was 2 years – 7 years – or 19 years ago, it doesn’t matter. there is never the wrong time to do something simple to express your love

Wedding Tip#4: Listen to your spouse, with your full attention–even when you don’t feel like it. You want him or her to do the same for you, don’t you? When listening, do your best to refrain from giving advice. Just listen. If your mind wanders, refocus. Your spouse, and your marriage, is worth it. And you’ll know more of what’s going on with them.

Wedding Tip#5: Worship together–not just at church. We are all different, but find a worship song you both like and sing together–with the music, or, if you are comfortable enough, a capella without music. God inhabits the praises of His people. It may seem awkward at first, but keep doing it and it will become very enjoyable. Yes we also worship in prayer, Reading scripture together, discussing what we read in the bible, and making spiritual decisions of faith together, and if that works better in your marriage, do it. Just don’t stop worshiping God together.

Wedding Tip #6: Laugh together often. If you don’t already have private jokes, develop some! Not every story in your life is for the world to know. Keep some that is just between you and your spouse.

Wedding Tip #7: Try new fun foods and activities. They don’t have to be expensive. I once heard a famous worship leader share on a national Christian station that he and his wife go sample sweet snacks at various restaurants without really eating a full meal, just to have fun and be together. Another couple tries new exotic fruits together as an international foods store. It can be challenging sometimes, when I like sports, and my wife wants to drag me to some mushy –chick flick– that I will never enjoy watching. Marriage, is not to force your likes onto a spouse but to find activities that are enjoyed together

Wedding Tip #8: Thank the LORD every day for your spouse–especially if you are feeling upset at them at the moment. If you can’t think of anything good to say right then, ask the LORD to help you–and ask Him to help you not say things you don’t like! Also thank Him that He knows all, and acknowledge that neither of you are perfect.

Wedding Tip #9: Hold hands in church, at the restaurant, in the car, in front of your kids, as you pray together…You get the idea! I’ve also heard (or read) that it’s wise to hold hands while disagreeing, because the warmth of the contact serves as a reminder that you are linked to this person, and that it helps you stay more calm than if you are not touching or not near your beloved. We’ve tried it both ways, and believe that holding hands during disagreements is better. I know men, PDA (Public Displays of Affection) is not your cup of tea, but hand holding is like a wedding ring, a necessity for every marriage.

Wedding Tip #10: There are times, however, if one or both partners are so upset that all of their energy is going to overcome the negative emotions that they are feeling, that it is best to not have a –discussion– until the emotions are under control. I have said –we need to talk about this, but I am not prepared or stable enough to talk now– (at least that is what I thought I said in my mind). The truth is, it is better to walk away to collect your thoughts than to let the angry ramblings of one escalate the situation even further. I can’t tell you how many times when the initial argument was miniscule to the one that was created when words were spoken out of anger or hurt feelings. Even though this helps calm the savage beast, come back to it. Problems do not just go away. Strongholds must be torn down to go forward, and that almost always involves the agreement of both spouses to be effective. Ask God to correct you and show you guidance, don’t rely on your own opinions or worse, force them on your spouse. There is an old Indian saying that translates,– A Man forced against his will is of the same opinion still– In marriage, the opinions, even if they are based on true facts, cannot be forced by you onto your spouse. You run the risk of trying to –play God– instead of asking your spouse to seek advise and teaching from the True God

Wedding Tip #11: Saying Sorry is not a sign of weakness. Now some of you may think I am a little crazy in this comment. I too in my life, remember times, where after saying –I’m Sorry– that I entered into a 4 hour lecture from my spouse on why I should be sorry. Trust me, I emotionally regretted it. But the truth is, And if we are truly honest, we have done the same thing to our spouse so-called –advising them– what they did so wrong. To express the feeling of hurt is not a bad thing, but to blame your spouse for their hurt and what they MUST DO to correct that hurt is in most cases very wrong. We are made strong when we humble ourselves before God, and admit our faults and weaknesses. Honestly, God also makes us stronger when we, humble ourselves before our spouse and our family, and admit we are not perfect. God has a desire to bless your marriage. He has a desire to be an intimate and important part of your marriage. But God will not force his presence into your live

Wedding Tip #12: Honor, respect, and promote your spouse. Other than the God the Father, Son, and Spirit, Your family is the most important thing in your life. We honor them by a) finding the good in them. b) telling our spouse about the good in them. c) sharing the good that our spouse has with others and d) relying on the good to bless your marriage. No one person is good in all phases of life. In almost every marriage, there are things that your spouse does very well, that you cannot do and vice versa. Now before the topic of Ego or taking out God comes into play, I will wuote scripture where –all good things come from God– We must however recognize tose good gifts that God has given our spouses, and when we honor our spouses we in turn Honor our Lord. It is like when we compliment a child and in turn, the parent is also complimented. When we compliment the good within our spouses, we also Honor God the true and Heavenly Father. Promote those good things and the bad things will not have room to grow

Wedding Tip #13: Find spiritual advisors and mentors– couples that have been married a long time. Talk with them as a couple and Man to man, woman to woman. If you come from broken households you are 500% more likely to also end in divorce, this is the only lifestyle you know, what did not work. In business, you surround yourself with successful business minded people so you in turn can find success. It is also true in marriage, surround yourself with successful, time tested, and spiritually tested, mentors that can show you a successful marriage. Trust me, this is better than trying to guess all the time what does and does not work.

Wedding Tip #14 Make time for your spouse and only your spouse. I am reminded of an old hymn called –take time to be holy–. Though I absolutely love this song, I also wish we correct the wording from –take time– to –make time–. We are in such a busy and crazy world that we have to say no to things to make time for our spouse and for our family. These no’s also have negative consequences. I get it and feel that pressure every day just like you and this pressure is 7 days a week from the time we get up until the time we sleep. It even haunts our dreams at night. Add kids to the equation, forget about it. to make time for marriage free from kids (not just for an emotionally unsatisfying –quickie–), is essential to our marriage, to our family, and yes, to our own mental sanity and stability.

Wedding Tip #15 Marriage and Sex – in order not to offend or hurt anyone I just would like to quote scripture from the message bible.

1 Corinthians 7 (MSG) –

1: Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?

2-6: Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to –stand up for your rights.– Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.

Do we ask our spouse if they are sexually –satisfied–? If no, why not?

Do we strive –for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life–?

The –world of sexual disorder– is one of Satan’s most powerful tools using our basic emotional and physical need against us.

After these 15 tips on marriage, let me just say this thing. Be the first to do these things. Give completely to your spouse. Don’t give a little then –expect a return on your investment– God watches how you act and react and He will bless your efforts even if you feel like you are giving 99% and are only receiving 1% in return. Trust the Lord in this marathon of a marriage and He will see it through to a healthy and joyful life.

Divorce is sometimes looked down upon for many religions. There are plenty of people that think you are a bad person because you are not getting a long with your spouse and you may be considering divorce. For these people, they may find it hard to make the decision to get divorced and stay in a relationship that is not healthy for them. This is something that many people may want to seriously think about before they decide to go on through life not being happy.

Remember though that this decision you make not only effects you, your spouse, your children, and surrounding family and friends. It can also have an impact on your relationship to God because of a promise you made to Him. Regardless, we all come up short when it comes to leading a perfect life before God. God through grace still loves you regardless. God says “Come to me ALL who are heavy laden and I will give you rest” God does not say “all – but divorced” or “all – but the …….” He includes each and every soul. Just accept his love

If you are going through a divorce and you are having a hard time with it emotionally because of your beliefs, you may want to take the opportunity to seek some type of counseling from your church. You can usually talk with your preacher or pastor and get some of the helpful information and support that you are looking for. You can use this type of counseling as a good method of self-help. You will be able to find out what you can do in this type of situation and how to figure out what is best for you.

There are many church organizations that will help you through the difficult time of divorce. This is something that you may want to take interest in. you will feel more secure and at ease more when you have the right information at your disposal. You will want to use this type of information and go with it from there. You may only need to go to the counseling at your church one time. Some people may need to go to the counseling for a few different sessions so that they can get back on track and get what they need. This is a very helpful method of helping yourself feel better and know that there is still hope out there for you to live a happy life.

You should not stop your faith and religion just because you are going through a divorce. You will find that once you loose your inner self, you will need your faith and love in your religion to get you through it. This is a very important time and you must not loose sight of the fact that your religion is going to guide you and help you with gain control of your life so that you can move on and do the things that you love the most.

Never stop practicing your true religion no matter what. Most of the time you will find that you can get support and help from the people of your church and you should be able to lean on your preacher or pastor and get the help you need to make it through these hard times.

Chronic Illness affects not only the physical body, but the emotional and spiritual well being of not only the sick, but the families, friends, caregivers, and the congregation as well.

The dictionary defines Chronic as a long period of time or marked by frequent events. When dealing with chronic illness, this can be a single illness that last for a long period of time, or a series of illnesses that recur over a long time. With this article we will refer to those who have been affected with an illness or a series of illnesses lasting greater than one year.

Experience and research of the authors

Wade Phelps and a friend he teamed up with, are the authors of this article, they are both married to spouses diagnosed with different ailments that fall under the category of chronically ill. As devoted servants of God and Ministers in our Church, we have learned first hand what it is do deal with chronic illness and the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual drain it can create.

On top of the first hand experience, research was done through clinical pastoral websites, psychologists, and a number of conversations with the hospital pastoral services, who have received degrees in providing pastoral care to those with chronic illness.

Identifying the roles and responsibilities of each party.

As mentioned earlier in this article, chronic illness not only affects the sick, but many others as well, this section will identify those involved and the characteristics of each individual(s)

The Sick – this is the person who has the ailment. The emotions of someone who is chronically ill are more intense and often misinterpreted. Some of the emotions that overwhelm the ill include guilt, anger, regret, battles of faith, feeling of punishment, hopelessness, mood swings, (both internal and external) and so on.

The Caregiver – this individual(s) is generally a spouse, parent, or an immediate family member. There may be one or many depending on the individual situations in each family. The caregiver generally picks up the slack when The Sick is ill. This includes many times finances, housework, family care, and communication with others when dealing with the medical emergencies.

The Immediate Family – This is the Parents or the Children of the Sick. Even if the Sick is an adult, the strain that is put on the parents of the Sick need to be provided for as well. These parents may not be the daily Caregiver, but the parents love and the feeling of helplessness can weigh heavy on a parents heart. Parents generally take the role of providing answers to their children so they may put additional strain of The Sick due to a controlling nature. Parents may have the most difficult time with accepting the illness and that God is in control. With non-adult children, confusion sets in. For teenagers, the rebellion may be heightened due to a feeling of injustice because of a lack of normalcy.

The family and friends – For those active in a Church, this also includes fellow members of the congregation. These are those who provide emotional and sometimes spiritual support as well. The family and friends react differently to the illness. There reactions may include

Medical Staff – these people are the individuals who provide care to the sick. They too have not only a job to do, but an emotional interest into the illness as well. The Medical Staff are many times put into a peculiar situation because they are expected in todays society to have all of the answers. They too feel guilt and pain when they cannot solve the illness. They do feel the pain of the family and share in it as well. The Medical staff too may deal with the situation many times like the family and friends do.

Spiritual Support – this responsibility is sometimes shared by many different individuals. Emotional care and spiritual care is sometimes so intertwined, that both issues have to be addressed at the same time. The spiritual support also may react differently to the illness depending on their experience and characteristics as well.

All of the above individuals/groups are all afflicted and have had to make changes in their lives. The Afflicted – this includes the Sick, the Caregiver, The immediate family, the Family and friends, or anyone who is affected by the illness. The carry different emotional levels and ways to deal with the affliction.

Some include: (but not limited to) —

a. They ignore the situation – either out of fear of what to say, or insecurity over the situation, these people ignore or walk away from the situation as if it never happened. Most times, the sick person and the caregiver are ignored because these people do not know what to say to them.

b. Problem solvers – these are those who has to have all the answers and feel it is their duty to provide advice. To these people they are there when the sickness starts but fizzle out as the illness continues.

c. The Judgmental – they may view the situation as a punishment from God or a challenge due to lack of faith. They may not even know they are reacting this way.

d. The supporters – these are those who even though they may not know exactly what the sick are going through, they make themselves available to them if needed.

e. The relaters – these are those who do know of the situation either because they lived through it or had an immediate family member who went through a similar situation. Not always is their someone who can relate in the congregation or in the immediate family.

Emotional stages of all of those involved (The grieving process)

Shock/Impact – The beginning of the grieving process is not always grieving in itself. This stage takes place when an individual first becomes ill, or when (especially for the chronically ill) new information or changes to the process of the illness takes place. The rest of the afflicted also share a phase of Shock/Impact as well. There is no predetermined time frame of this phase. Fear of the unknown causes these people an overwhelming sense of shock. At this time many thoughts are running through the mind of those involved. Rash decision(s), the inability to make a decision(s), or constant changes to a decision(s) takes place. Their thoughts will react faster than their words or actions. The conversation may go in many different directions or their may be a lack of conversation because the mind is attempting to absorb the impact of the situation.

Denial – The second stage in the mourning process. It buffers initially the shock by denying or refusing the illness or the effect it will have on their lives. Chronically ill people must deal with everyday affairs, such as domestic duties, family matters, school, work, etc. This means that their illnesses cannot always be the centre of attention. In such cases, denial is effective because it temporarily pushes aside the illness and enables those involved to deal with other priorities

Emotional Confusion (focusing inward) – Chronic illness affects more than the fear over health or the physical pain; it affects every aspect of their lives as well as the lives of those who surround them. To those affected, there is an overwhelming feeling of being attacked. It feels as if you are standing in the center of a room with every trouble and battle attacking you from every direction. Everywhere you turn; there is another battle or challenge that needs attention. This feeling of being trapped drains the emotional, spiritual, and physical aspect of the afflicted. To many of the afflicted, guilt of failure or guilt of failing God can constantly plague them. An inward feeling is then created as if the whole world is falling apart. This is generally the most emotional of all the stages. In this stage, be cautious of a constant transition of emotions. The affected many times cannot reach out or lack the strength to reach out to others. When dealing with those in this stage, you may feel as if you are being pushed away, not trusted, or not needed. In most cases, it is just the opposite. If in doubt, ask.

Effort at resolution (Focusing outward) –This is the stage at which decisions will be made. Decisions of faith, finances, domestic changes, and medical responsibilities arise in this stage. Attempts to open up to others are made. Just because the decisions are made does not mean that these decisions are ok with the affected. Time may still be needed to accept the new way of life. Constant moving from emotional confusion to an effort at resolution may take place.

Acceptance – This is the beginning of the healing process. This is an internal acceptance of the changes that were made in the prior phase. When dealing with the chronic illness, acceptance may happen in steps instead of all at once. The pain of everything may still be there, but it is less in the forefront and the afflicted starts to see beyond the pain and make attempts to start living again

These stages repeat themselves continuously and in no particular order for all who deal with chronic illness. These stages also affect not only the sick, but also the caregiver, the family and friends, and even at times the Medical staff and the spiritual support as well. These stages happen at different times for each of them. Conflicts will arise due to the different emotions that take place at different times for each of the afflicted.

Providing spiritual care

Identify the roles of each person, their personality, and the emotional stage they are in.

Communication

Prayer – An open communication with God our Father is a must.

Psalm 66:20 Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!

Remember the Story of The Lord Jesus in the Garden. He prayed that the cup would pass him by but still ended the prayer with God’s will be done. (Luke 22:39-44) The adversity of illness also may cause us to ask for God to take it away. We must remember still that all good thing happen to those who love the Lord

Apostle Paul and his thorn – 2 Corinth 12:1-10 understand that it is ok to ask for the thorn to be removed, but also be prepared when God provides the answer we seek, even if it is not the answer we were seeking.

The art of Listening – In grief, advice in not always sought after. Many of the afflicted know what needs to be done, they just need time to adjust and accept the difficult path. When providing spiritual care, allow the afflicted to speak what is in their heart and soul. They may not make sense or may say some things that seem rash. This is part of the grieving process.

If you do not know, ask. – A minister or any person providing spiritual care is still human and is not expected to know everything. With concern, ask how you can minister unto them.

Visiting (the little visit) – not always does a minister need to have a 1 to 2 hour visit in order to provide spiritual care. To someone who is grieving, an hour seems like a day, a day seems like a week, a week is like a month, and so on. A phone message, email, 2 minute conversation before or after service goes a long way. A little visit is a key to helping the afflicted deal with the grieving process. Separate little visits for each of the afflicted, not just the sick, is also recommended

Leave them a spiritual gift. – Spiritual Music, A Worship video,a Bible text. There is no exact science here as each person is different, some are visual learners, some are Audio, and some are researchers. The purpose of this gift is not to solve their problem but to give them a little something to hang on to when they are alone.

Don’t be judgmental

Accepting God’s will- when providing spiritual care, accept the fact that this battle has been approved by God. Do not tell God or the member that he (God) will make it go away. It is ok to ask but allow Gods will to be done.

Acceptance of the sick to the caregiver – advise the caregiver to learn to separate the illness from the one who is ill. Teach the caregiver that it is ok to be upset with the illness without being upset with the sick person. This is a difficult battle for the caregiver to separate the sickness from the sick person.

Acceptance of the caregiver to the sick – the person who is sick must learn to accept the role of the caregiver and that the caregiver is doing the best that he/she can with the increase of responsibility. Flaws in the caregiver may come out more due to the extra stress and responsibility. The sick must also accept that the caregiver may do things differently or to a lower level of standards than what is normally done.

Acceptance of the medical personnel – The medical personnel are not perfect. Even though they are trained in their field, they may not have all of the answers. The Medical staff also want what is best for the sick individual and have a emotional investment into this as well

Being mad, sad, or feel weak is not a weakness of faith or a bad thing – God created emotions and knows our grieving process. It is not a failing faith to have these feelings. Let the emotional stages run their course regardless of how long it takes. Some stages will last longer than others depending on the characteristics of The Afflicted. The longer the illness may result in longer emotional stages as well

Seeking professional help

Medical – the medical staff are trained and educated. A time may come when you may need to ask questions on behalf of the family.

Mental therapists – advise all those afflicted that seeking professional therapy is not a weakness in faith. They are trained also in dealing with grief and can help in the healing process

The Hospital pastoral staff – each hospital is equipped with a professionally trained person trained in clinical pastoral care. They do not teach religion or try to convert. If you are providing spiritual care and am confused, visit the hospital pastor for advice in dealing with the situation. They may also help with the spiritual care of the sick person in the hospital by providing follow up visits during the day to the sick individual. In such a dark moment in the Afflicted souls life, do not feel solely responsible to solve their situation. Not only is this impossible when you ponder the amount of time it takes to be there every time they need you, but in turn, you may portray that YOU (not GOD) are all that they need in their life.

Promote, Promote, PROMOTE

Faith – a promotion of keeping the faith given to the afflicted can go a long way. Sharing experiences of faith grants strength to continue to fight.

When decisions are made, promote the afflicted when they make the decisions. Support them in the decisions they make. Making a decision during a conflict can be scary or more difficult in such a stressful time. The consequences of some decisions may be life threatening and need support. Their decision may be the wrong one or may change. Though you can advise them to seek medical attention in this decision, you can cause a lot more harm than good if you challenge them here. Be very very careful. In the middle of the crisis, you are not helping them by redirecting them, and they will not see that what you are doing is out of love. If the decision needs immediate medical attention, get the medical/psychological staff involved. Let them be the bad guy as they are much better trained to deal with this than you are.

Positive steps – Chronic illness has a way of causing people to feel like they are trapped in sorrow. Any small step of a positive nature needs to be supported and complimented. These little positive moments helps the heart and soul begin the emotional and spiritual process of healing. The afflicted may feel overwhelmed at all of the things that must be done. Teach them to take it one step at a time and prioritize what needs to be attended to.

Prayer and that God hears your prayers – Constantly promote an open communication with God and that he hears every prayer.

The willingness to endure – We know that God does not give us anything we can’t handle, but some battles are too great for us to handle it on our own. Continue to promote the willingness to endure and support and compliment their endurance.

Love and support – constantly let the afflicted know that God loves them and that they are loved within the congregation.

That strength comes from God – promote Godly strength and that our endurance is not in vain. This requires a continuous reaffirmation because hope is generally the first thing to go. For the afflicted, hope is the main source of strength.

Promote the Lord’s return – The afflicted individuals need to hear about God’s greater plan for us. Chronic illness attacks hope in the future and the worthiness of the individual to be prepared for the Lord’s return.

Additional advice

Taking emotional breaks – it is ok to take a break from the illness. This is therapeutic and provides a sense of humanness. To all of the afflicted, taking an emotional break from each other is not a bad thing either. Watch a spiritual movie or video. Listen to a Christian CD

Identify the guilt aspect – so many aspects of guilt and regret may come out. Teach the afflicted to lay even their guilt into the hands of God and ask him to deal with it.

Accept the emotional roller coaster – Don’t take it personally even if you as a spiritual supporter feel like you are being attacked. Do not stop the emotional cycle to defend yourself, there will be time in the future for that. . Let the stages of emotions run its course.

Please do not use We missed you, I didn’t see you, or Where were you comments. Instead, just tell them they were loved and fill them in on what happened. Some comments add to the guilt and the stress instead of showing love as you intended. Imagine if you missed an event that was out of your control and then everyone came up to you and said they missed you? How much more to some with a Chronic Illness.

Recognize the emotional investment of all involved., Look at the heart more than the words or actions.

Visit the Immediate family as well – If the Sick is an adult, take a moment to visit the spiritual needs of the parents. Make a separate phone call or visit. With the children in the household, recognize that the emotions of growing up as a child may be heightened. Take a moment to visit them as well. Speak to the Sunday School teachers or others to provide assistance with the children.

Silence is OK – Do not fill silence with advice. Most of the time, the sick know the answer but need time and attention in order to accept. Some of the greatest spiritual visits are made when nothing is said. You are even providing spiritual care by being there in these moments of silence.

You are there for spiritual support, not to take away all of their problems – Some people may feel that spiritual support for the afflicted is to help them fix their problems. The battle is in God’s hands. Don’t try to solve their problems.

Do not attempt to be their only spiritual provider – Some ministers are protective in the way they care for their members. The afflicted require more spiritual care than any one person can provide. Why does it take 20 to 30 medical personnel to take care of one person who is sick? With spiritual care, it is no different. It takes a Family/congregation to care spiritually for the sick. This is the work of God not the work of man, get others involved.

If you need material Worship Videos, Music,Custom videos, Advice, please do not hesitate to email us at info@allchoralworks.com. We offer plenty of material to the chronically ill at no charge. It is so much more important that they feel the love of God more than any opportunity we could have to make a profit, and where possible, we will drop everything and give this our top priority.