I've just moved back to PDX for a new job. I grew up in LO and am
very excited to be back. In the ten years I've been gone hipsters
have taken over this town (you may have noticed); but I've always
found them adorable--the more pretentious the better!--so unlike a
lot of people I don't mind. On that note, I don't count anyone as a
hipster who doesn't fixed-gear around the Pearl with a french press
strapped to his or her messenger bag. Keep up the good work!

I subtly but irrevocably warp young minds through the teaching of
East Asian Studies and Gender Studies.

I also hope to invent a time machine so that I can go back and tell
my younger self to study China rather than Japan, because, jeez,
that's all anybody wants to talk about these days.

Once I've done that I plan to check on the market for time
machines. Having banked the bajillions of dollars that would no
doubt net me, I'll pour myself a glass of $1000 scotch and consider
the possibility that time travel has moral or cosmic downsides.