Monday, November 15, 2004

News Release from the Mortal Majority

My sister emailed yesterday to report that her spray-on suntan salon is being picketed by a group calling themselves South Carolina Aryan Troopers (or SCAT). This group denounces “race traitors who alter the pale pure color of their skin to pursue vanity on our state’s beaches.” Traditional tanning salons, with their lamps and tanning beds, have not been targeted for demonstrations. SCAT’s leader says with a chuckle that race traitors who visit these establishments pay for their transgression with melanomas, nature’s way of saying don’t betray your nature. But the new spray-on technology was a slap in the pale face of SCAT, a dermatologist-approved way to effect the browning of South Carolina.