I think I've been lonely for the last 9 years. Obviously, not the entire time, but I've always had certain realizations throughout. Like, realizing that the people I called friends weren't really my friends, inviting people to my birthday party and having nobody show up. Coming home from the military and not being able to connect with any of my former friends.

When my grandfather passed away his side of my family gradually separated. Now, I never see any of them and feel like a stranger at the rare family gathering (usually the 4th of July). I've felt like my place in the world has kind of slipped through my fingers over the years and now I'm merely just another existence that doesn't belong anywhere or with anyone.

That pretty much sums it up. I don't dwell on it, really, but I've just come to accept the fact that somewhere along the way I failed at life.

I know how you feel. I feel lonely when I'm ignored by people I thought I was friends with. Maybe I never really had any to begin with. Maybe all I ever had were people who tolerated me and tossed me aside when they became bored of me. Maybe I don't really matter...

I feel lonely when one of my closest friends, who's a girl, is always with someone else that I know will break her heart. Seeing her happy with someone else, seeing her heartbreak because of someone else, and seeing me help her pick up the pieces because of someone else. It's a constant cycle and it's been happening for at least 4 years. I finally got the courage to tell her how I felt and it was good. She told me that she liked me too. We were together and everything was good; unfortunately, it only lasted a week. Then she tells me that she doesn't like me anymore and moves on to someone else. What makes matters worse is I can't tell anyone I know or am close to because word always somehow reaches her ears. So now I live on everyday, seeing her everyday, knowing that she's repeating a cycle of pain and hurt over and over again. I don't want to tell her how I feel about this because it's a very touchy subject and can easily jeopardize our friendship. So to see all this happen from time to time again, without being able to speak a word of it to anyone else, is quite lonely.

(Sorry for the long post ): I rarely post on the CR forums here but this topic caught my eye.)