Niagara Falls, Part One

I took my shower and washed my hair as usual. Also as usual, I applied my three special styling products. A special root lifter first, then I combined a special styling cream with a different special styling cream. It’s a special process.

And I dried with an ionic dryer and a big round metal barrel brush.

Then I ironed (I keep my ironing board set up because I am a little obsessed with ironing. Not like how uncaring I am about my hair and makeup). I dressed in my freshly pressed (I’m still gloating over Freshly Pressed) clothes and went back into the bathroom to do my makeup.

And there it was. Looking me right in the mirror.

My hair was perfect.

You know how once in a while your hair comes out absolutely right?

I don’t.

I’ve never had a perfect hair day.

But there it was. Perfect.

Great volume, but not wild. And I had the kind of swinging shine that I have only seen on commercials. (and on my grandniece – it is just wrong to envy a four-year-old.)

I finished my makeup, and Voila!

A stunning sixty-one-year old.

I went down to breakfast.

While waiting for my husband to notice what a gorgeous wife he had, which I was sure would only be a matter of time…just another cup of coffee to get his eyes unstuck…

I had a hot flash.

Do you remember the scene in “Airplane” where Robert Hays starts to sweat?

Post navigation

35 Comments

I wouldn’t have believed this if I hadn’t seen a stupendous hot flash some years ago. We were all away on a ladies’ weekend. One of the new gals suddenly ripped off her clothes as she was turning fire engine red. The water gushed out of her pores like…Niagara Falls. Her friend grabbed a towel and it was SOAKED.

At least you had a perfect moment before the gusher. LOL. Like you said, there’s always a next time if there was a first. Positive thinking. Excellent.

Oh – can I relate! When you get a chance, please check out my post today – I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award…and now you need to pay it forward if you are so inclined (once the hot flash passes of course)…

That happened to me (the hot flashes not the perfect hair — I am still waiting for that). I stood outside in my barefeet and nightgown in the middle of January trying to cool down contemplating whether people could really burst into flames. So glad you had your hair moment. I am still waiting for mine.

Yes, I got Freshly Pressed the first week in May with “Please Don’t Come Back.” It was an amazing experience with over 11,000 views in three days. The downside is that I had included a horrible picture of myself from 1977. I figured it wouldn’t be so bad to show my unfortunate style sense with a few readers. I didn’t figure on 11,000.https://notquiteold.wordpress.com/2012/05/08/please-dont-come-back/

I may have thought you were exaggerating for literary effect had I not experienced the dreaded hot flash myself. The first time I went up in flames I could not for the life of me understand how it was that no one else in the room was responding to the sudden extreme rise in temperature. “Surely,” I thought,” they should be just as shocked as I.” It took a moment to realize this was a case on internal combustion. Sorry about the hair, but 19 minutes is still 19 really special moments. It will happen again.

A couple of days ago I pulled off my motorcycle helmet after a half-hour ride. I’d worn the helmet long enough to squash down the frizz, and when I pulled the helmet off, my hair did one of those supermodel-in-the-wind things and settled into sheer perfection. It lasted about 19 seconds.

Perfect hair? What’s that? Sadly, I haven’t been to a hair salon since December… and I used to go every 4 weeks. At first I was just afraid to try someone new as we are currently “living on the road”. Now I’m thinking I just want to see how long I can go before I either take scissors to it myself, or my husband drives to one himself because if he hears me say “My God, I really need to do something with this mop.” one more time he’ll flip! As far as the hot flashes go, at 46 I think I’m getting baby ones but I’m sure the real deal is not too far off.
Thanks for the chuckle… and the warning. ;-)

Perfect! And, not to brag, but I have perfect hair days regularly. Always, always the day before a hair cut/color appointment. The best way to have a bad hair day is to then cancel said hair cut/color appointment.

I too had a “hair day.” I went to my small town barber and he said, “what will it be?” and I smiled and said, “Shave it all. Burr.” and he said, “Summertime haircut huh?” and I said “yeah, that will work.”

Wife came home about 3PM and she said “You got a haircut, a really goooood haircut!” and I said, “Yeah, whadya think?” and she said, “You got Obama ears, I never noticed that before.”

Oh, dear. 19 minutes of perfect hair. I can relate so, so much. (For me, it’s usually a wave of humidity, or wind, that kills it). This post was so funny that I forgive you for putting a deadly fear of future hot flashes into my already anxiety-ridden head.

You are every woman’s woman! I just can’t believe how much I enjoy your posts and your fun, funny, straightforward way of putting things. This is no exception right down to the bedraggled illustration! :)