[October
9, 2002]Scotty
Crane, the son of the late "Hogan's Heroes" actor
Bob Crane, has been making the talk show rounds.
It seems that he's really upset about the upcoming movie, "AutoFocus"
about his father. It's not that the film is nearly X-Rated,
it's that they got the facts wrong. In addition to them
getting it wrong, he claims the whole idea was stolen.

Several years ago Scotty and
his mother, Patricia Crane (stage name, Sigrid Valdis, actress, and
co-star "Hilda" on "Hogan's Heroes") wrote a
screenplay and titled it "Take Off Your Clothes and
Smile" or "F-Stop," they couldn't
decide. It is what Scotty claims to be a true account of Bob
Crane’s Life, told from the inside out.

The
screenplay was well received and was written up in a story in Variety
by Army Archerd. Soon after that, they discovered that
Propaganda Pictures was in the process of writing their own version
of the story, "Auto Focus: The Life of Bob Crane."
Once the word was out that Propaganda was producing their own
version of the story, the Cranes couldn’t get anyone to consider
or even read their script.

Radio DJ
Scotty Crane, son of actor Bob Crane.Photo by Brigitte Stelzer

But like I said, it's not just that they stole
the idea that upset Scotty Crane, it's that they screwed it
up. Scotty documents dozens of inaccuracies in the upcoming
film, such as: He photographed women without their
knowledge; He was into S&M and had dungeons all around the
country; And the one that seems to bug him the most:
That Bob Crane had a penile implant. "First off,
they didn't even have penile implants in the 60s and 70s. In fact,
silicone penile implants were not used before 1982 -- four years
after Bob's death. And fat injection penile implants weren't
used until the early 1990s. Secondly, if he had had penile implants
or injections, this would have been noted in his autopsy report,
which you can view on www.bobcrane.com."

Patricia Crane,
AKA Sigrid Valdis as "Hilda" on "Hogan's
Heroes"

As I said, Scotty has no problem with the things
his father did do, just the things his father didn't
do. And if you doubt this for one minute you can visit his web site
where all the lurid details are documented. If you feel like
spending as little as $3.95 you can get a three day trial pass
to the x-rated portion of the BobCrane.com
web site that includes clips from the stag films which star Bob
Crane. Even without paying Scotty offers photographic proof
that his father had no need for a penile implant.

And the site isn't all about just the
sex. Scotty's offering a set of collectible "Hogan's
Heroes" action figures that are quite remarkable in their
detail and resemblance to Hogan, Col. Klink, and Sergeant Shultz.
But then they should be good, the trio costs $150.

I should also note here that "Auto-Focus"
is being made with the consent of Bob Crane Jr., Bob Crane's
other son. And it doesn't seem like Scotty and brother are
very close. In an interview by Jack Stewart, Scotty says
"First let me say that there is no “Bob Crane Jr.” My
father was born Robert Edward Crane and his first wife gave birth to
Robert David, and I was born Robert Scott Crane. 'Bobby' didn't
start calling himself 'Jr.' until my father died. I haven't seen
Bobby since the funeral." Scotty alleges that his brother
sold out to "Auto-Focus" for a mere $2,500, the same
amount offered to Scotty.

So what was Bob really like? According
to his son he was a loving father with whom he had a great
relationship with. He had an intense drive for perfection, and he
was a work-a-holic, funny and very up-beat and "He wore
his lifestyle and his conquests like a badge of honor and anyone who
knew him knows that. On one level, the way he needed sex for
validation was unfortunate, but don’t we all get some kind of
validation from sex? Bob Crane was a kid in a candy store and he
wanted everyone to know it. This also brought him validation. He was
very ahead of his time as far as his openness about it."

Patricia Crane,
AKA Sigrid Valdis, with Bob on the game show "Tattletales"

And Bob Crane was really open about what he was
doing sexually. He lived next door to "All in the
Family" star Carroll O'Connor and invited him over to watch
his homemade porn. "Can you imagine Archie Bunker and
Col. Hogan in your basement watching stag films?" Scotty asked
with pride. "My father showed his pornographic photos and
videos to everyone, including the press."

Some people think Scotty's a Hollywood whore
for trying to capitalize on his father's name with a smutty web
site, "This is my father; this is what he did. I’ve been
seeing these photographs since I was about two years old. These are
my family photographs—we have nothing to hide. And nothing here
justifies murder."

In my humble opinion, Scotty's sincere in what
he says. Not only does he look like his dad, he has the same
enthusiasm and joy of living that made his father a star. I
don't want anyone to read this and think Scotty just and angry young
son-of-a-star with an axe to grind.

Russell Crowe is slated to star as “Hogan”
in a big screen, Brian Grazer- produced re-make of "Hogan's
Heroes." Scotty: "I'm actually pretty excited
about that project."

On Monday November 4th: "Hogan's
Heroes" debuts on The Hallmark Channel, air times to
be announced.

Hogan's
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Hogan's Heroes VHS
Three tape collector's set includes Volumes 1, 2 &
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