I lived with my parents all my life. I watched them age, and then go to be with the Lord. My dad died on July 14, 2014. It's not easy working with older people you care about and see their health deteriorate. I appreciate your faithfulness to your vocation, Sister.

Greetings and blessings in the name of Christ. I have been learning about st theresa and john of the cross very interesting learning to love the order any dicernable advice would be prayerfully recieved.

Sister, I am heartbroken. The religious order I consider to be my family (having been raised in their orphanage) is deteriorating, elder sisters dying off, NO new vocations. There are 2 sisters from another country who are "not in the mold" so to speak, they run all over the neighborhood, get money from friends and eat lunch out, shirk work, disobey, sleep during mass, truly I could go on and on...the older sisters are angry and handle it in different ways, from ignoring it to staying in a constant state of upheaval. One sister in particular "vents" her frustrations on me, and this scenario has been going on for years. I do not want to participate in what I consider to be detraction, and have said so. It continues....breaking my heart to think of ending my relationship with the sisters. I am 72 years old, and my relationship with them goes back to kindergarten...really, none of the inner trappings of the convent are my business, but i keep getting sucked in...I know more than I ever cared to know...help me.

Your reaction is appropriate considering the religious community has become your family. But even in families parting is inevitable. Religious communities across the board are suffering from the same lack of vocations and aging members. Unfortunately, these circumstances signal the end to some religious congregations. How does this impact you? Obviously, deeply and personally. First of all, part of the difficulty is the fact that you have identified with this community to the extent that it has become an extension of yourself. So I suggest you bring to prayer the desire to find the courage to understand that you are not the community, and the community is not you. Their problems are not your problems. Sure it is painful to watch but you have no control over how to remedy the situation. You have the ultimate control. You get sucked in because you allow it to happen because you feel guilty if you don't. You know what to do. You have said so. The problem is finding the courage. Courage has a price and you have to choose to accept the pain in order to move on.

I have courage, I have ended it. Painful. Especially since they have perpetual adoration, and I was a part of that. I miss it. As well as night prayer, which I went to one night a week. Its like a a death in the family... prayers please, for ALL of us. And thank you....

It need not be a complete separation. Maybe when you find the strength you need, you could go back to start a new relationship with them. They are part of your life and there is no way of changing that. Life always goes on with something new to offer every time. Discover it. I will think of you in prayer!

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