Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Oscars are among us and I get as giddy as a Britney Spears fan in anticipation of the "Circus" tour. This year proves even more exciting for me as the nominees are some of the greatest actors around. I love watching people who I admire getting one of the greatest accomplishments of all time in the industry. Now this doesn't mean that if you don't get an Oscar it means your not worthy of one, can we say Kate Winslet many years already. As they announce the names, I can't help but begin to daydream about that day that I get the phone call at 5am saying "Josh Carpenter you have been nominated along side for your film, Broken Promises as Best Supporting Actor" yeah I daydream vividly! I have worked for the past fifteen years honing my craft, buidling my resume, making a mark on the acting world, at times it has been very hard. Sitting on the set of "Sex and the City" as background for seventeen hours in hopes that either I would get a voucher or a bump up, neither happened and on I went to other things. But doing the work as a background artist, I learned many things about set's and lingo and terminology, wait is that the same meaning? I can only imagine actually winning an Oscar one day, sitting there with my guy on my side and the cast of our show, Robin Williams, Kate Winslet, and me, and our director Baz Luhrman, as my name is called I don't really hear it at first and then Katie, that's what I'll call her says in her beautiful european accent, Joshy that is you love, go go already. Ray kisses me and I adjust my jacket and button it up and walk to the stand already welling up with emotion, knowing how hard I have worked for this day. I think I would be a blubbering guy up there with so many people to thank that the symphony would start to drown me out as they try to cut to a commercial and I scream..."Wait..I have waited so long for this moment, I need to finish." I would hope my mom would be in the audience sitting there holding Ray's hand, crying happily, and there I would see her and smile and wink, knowing that I owe my life to her, knowing she is the proudest mom in that room and I am up there because of her. I have been through some great challenges in my life but adding that little naked man to my life would just reitterate how much the challenges made me the man I am today.

But lets not get ahead of ourself, it takes a lot of dedication, persistence, talent and determination before that day comes. So that is why I have officially moved to Los Angeles after working for almost four years on my acting in New York City, and living in the city for almost eight years. Watching and waiting as I saw the city change, the world change, I knew that this is what I was destined to do. A fire burns within me so deep and so full that I have to act or I feel that fire will consume me and I will just burn away leaving only an empty shell, I even turned away a few times, when my acting mentor died, but I made a promise to myself, my father, my mother, my friends, that I would give it a shot with every fiber, desire, and dedication I have in my life. So I packed up everything I owned, left my friends and lover back in New York, and came to Hollywood. Is it challenging? Yes! Is it hard? Absolutely! But worth every tear shed, temper flared, and close call because I know that its only a matter of time before that close call is the right moment. And after many student films, indies, plays and background work I finally got the beginning of the rest of my life going. I moved here and booked my first national commercial for Budweiser that aired during the Superbowl 2009 and immediately became SAGe after being here six months. I am in an amazing class, because you can never stop learning, and my relationship is working out just fine, even though long distance is tough, but he is so supportive. So dreams are coming true, because dreams are nothing but illusions if you don't do something about them, and I'm definitely doing something about them. So yes one day I will have dinner with Robin Williams who is my inspiration for falling madly, yes madly because you have to be mad crazy to be an actor, and ask him "Robin, how did you do it? How did you always come so close and not get that second step, waiting till your late 20's before someone finally saw the genious you were, the career you were meant to have? How did you get through the pain and fear of what if it didn't happen." and I can only imagine him saying in a crazy way that only Robin could do justice, "Josh, you got to work it girl.you need to stick that booty out and work it.." and then we would have a very in depth conversation.. Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier if we were still back in the time of the great Hollywood era, and I was Bette Davis, I mean how many of you love "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?", she always got to play such amazing roles and the challenges she had to endure and go through and come out such an iconic person. But we are not in that era anymore and the industry is way more challenging. But some people rise above it eventually getting the praise, the respect they deserve like Kate who I would inspire to be if I was a woman, the roles she has played and the amazing talent that comes from her I could only desire the world she lives, the characters in her head, the journey she has made and the true beauty she has and of course come February 22 as she gets what she so deserves. So as they announce this years best actor, best actress, I'll be sitting right there, knowing one day, that it will be me, cuz I dream vividly and my dreams will be my accomplishments.