Monday, October 31, 2011

I have a serious question. What year are we living in? Is this 2011 or 2051? Have I been out of the non-sports videogame game for so long that these kind of trailers have become the norm? Because what I just watched was the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Like that was hands down more disturbing and scary than any Michael Meyers or Freddy Krueger movie ever was. That was absolutely terrifying. A little girl being flung to her death off of her fathers shoulders in the midst of a zombie apocalypse? I love it!

Now if we can go from NHL '95 to Dead Island in my lifetime, then by the time my kids are teenagers they better be able to have virtual sex in videogames. Like that has to be the next step. Things are just accelerating at too rapid a pace for that not to happen. If my Xbox 360 isn't blowing me by 2030 then I will have lost all faith in humanity.

Quick background on the game itself. Dead Island was released in September of 2011 and has since received great reviews. If any 2 Man Weaver out there has played/beat this game, feel free to enlighten the masses. I would love to know it lives up the Gold Award that the trailer earned at the Cannes Festival of Creativity last summer.

So news of the Kardashian-Humpries divorce has taken the internet by storm this morning. People are freaking out as if this was some kind of fairy tale marriage between the royal family coming to an end after 30 years. But let's call a spade a spade, people. Kim is a whore. Point blank. She literally is only famous because she fucked a C list rapper on camera. She's also an attention whore, as evident by her 2 part fairytale wedding spectacular that is STILL CURRENTLY BEING AIRED ON E! This whole relationship was a contrived effort by her and her soulless family to boost ratings and keep the spotlight on her aging and almost certainly cellulite ridden ass. This girl has never worked a day in her life, as illustrated by her dead fish routine with Ray-J.

I think I speak for everyone when I say please get the fuck out of America and go back to Armenia or whatever the hell country you're from. Somebody do me a favor and cue the Ludacris music!

Happy Halloween peoples. Due to the unexpected Nor'easter that hit this past weekend I've been left me with no cable or internet access (gasp!) but fear not- for I have arrived at work an hour and a half early in time to supply you with your weekend tweet re-cap. Now don't be stingy tonight when the youngin's come a knockin'. Remember- nobody wants to be remember as the neighbor who gave out the healthy snacks.

And now, the tweets!

I did a simple twitter search of "shaving cream eggs" and was blown away by how many middle aged white men were reminiscing about their glory days of Halloween mayhem. With that being said, I'm working the 2:30-10:30 evening shift tonight so I will not be able to man the egg mobile. Bob if you're reading this, I'm leaving you in charge. I hear the high schoolers like to hang out by the gazebo.

Carolla hit the nail on the head with this one. I don't know about you guys but my feet aren't the only thing running when I'm on the treadmill. My mind ends up going like 100 mph examining my surroundings. Focusing extra hard that I don't lose traction and fall flat on my face, knocking my teeth out, but most importantly I always find my self subconsciously competing against my fellow joggers. I'm constantly trying to sneak a peek at the runner next to me's stats. Are they going faster then me? She's been running for 45 minutes?! God dammit I'm tired. One mile isn't that bad, right? I totally deserve McDonald's tonight.

So yea, if I get on a treadmill next to you, you better be getting off before I finish. Cause I'm not stopping before you do and at about the four mile mark a heart attack is definitely in play.

A quick Yahoo! questions search of the question "Is Batman's sidekick Robin gay?" led me to these four answers.

"i doubt it i was with him 3 nights ago lol" -flowerpot

"No. Short pants may not have been the best fashion statement with regards to the old Robin costume, but no, he isn't." -Bill N

"i read in the newspaper about them, not sure if they both are but i beleive batman is."- a user named "?"

"Yes he is, after batgirl dump him !! :))" -aortha h

So yea, I basically learned nothing from those responses and am now mortified by the cumulative level of intelligence on these message boards. It's time for our tweet(s) of the week.

TWEET(S) OF THE WEEK

America, it's time for you to meet Alec Sulkin. The sulk writes/produces for Family Guy and when he's not busy getting Jimmy Kimmels sloppy seconds from Sarah Silverman, you can find him absolutely killin' it on his twitter feed. His dry, self deprecating sense of humor has gained him almost 300k followers and he has become one of the most respected comedic tweeters in the game today (#sentencesyouneverthoughtyouwouldreadin1996).

Okay so this weekend we're having our first ever 2 Man Weave Digital Halloween Costume Contest. All you have to do is e-mail photos of yourself, friends, family, bums on the streets, hookers etc. to danye@2manweave.com. We're looking for the funniest, most original and/or offensive costume out there so lets see what ya got! The winning photo will be posted Tuesday morning and the submitter will receive a prize, not to mention live on in internet glory for the rest of eternity.

Picking against the Dolphins has landed Danye a spot atop the King's Throne

After an impressive 10-2-1 performance in Week 7, I now find myself in first place heading this weekend's slate of games. This was the second consecutive week that saw a contestant make the leap from Mush to King (The Geez has since regressed back to his Mush position). This weekend the gang advises you to go all in on the Texans, Saints, Giants, Bills and 49ers. And for my hypothetical 3 team teaser of the week I like the Bills in a pick 'em, S.F. -2.5 and the Cowboys getting 9.5.

(CBS) SANTA FE, N.M. - A woman accused her boyfriend of cheating during a game of Monopoly and then stabbed him repeatedly with a kitchen knife. The Santa Fe New Mexican reports police arrested 60-year-old Laura Chavez Wednesday after finding a 48-year-old man with stab wounds and bleeding heavily from his head and right wrist. According to a probable cause statement from police, Chavez and the victim began fighting because Chavez thought he was cheating. Chavez was arrested on suspicion of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, battery upon a peace officer and assault upon a peace officer. Right about now, she's probably looking for that "get out of jail free" card.

If Chavez had been playing one of those board games that you can bang out quickly like Candyland or Chutes and Ladders I guarantee this never would have happened. But get sucked into one of those four hour games of Monopoly and all bets are off. Seriously, after about your eighth property foreclosure, sixth stint in the pen and fourteenth chance card telling you to fork over your hard earned greenbacks to the bank and everything becomes fair game. You can't invest that much time, effort and energy into a game, only to find out your boyfriend the banker has been pulling an Enron by embezzling funds behind your back. Totally justifiable stabbing if you ask me. It's okay to cheat in games like B.S. or Go Fish by denying that you have certain cards because you're not playing for a long enough time to get truly invested. But start messing around and playing dirty in a game that takes the same amount of time to complete as it does to drive from New York City to Washington D.C. and yea you're gonna end up getting Paul Pierce'd.

Also, this is the exact reason why men should never date older woman. Too much conflicting power at stake. A younger woman can accept the fact that men take anything that involves competition way too seriously, and will use any means necessary to achive victory. But when your Mrs.'s is twelve years your senior, she's not just going to let you go around cutting corners and rigging games to beat her. Way too much pride to lose to the young thundercat.

Notre Dame belly-flops: That's the only way to describe what transpired Saturday night in one of the program's most hyped games in recent memory. The team inexplicably came out flat, while USC started with a bang, scoring on its first two drives to take a 14-0 first quarter lead. Despite eventually falling behind 17-0, the Irish were very much in it after George Atkinson III returned a kick 96 yards for a touchdown. A Notre Dame field goal before the half made it 17-10 USC, very much a game. ND managed to drive it down late in the third quarter and was on the verge of punching it in when on 3rd and goal from the one, Dayne Crist (in the game for a temporarily injured Tommy Rees) fumbled the snap, which was scooped up by USC and taken 99 yards for a score. Honestly, I have become desensitized to this sort of comical ineptitude after watching the last 7 years of Notre Dame football. The Irish had a chance early in the 4th, down 24-17, but Rees threw a swing pass backwards, Cierre Wood dropped it, and the game was over. Notre Dame had 9 running back carries in this game (9!). Pardon my language, but that is fucking outrageous. The best way to attack this USC team was to run it down their throats, thus negating their speed and athleticism. Of all the issues Saturday, this concerned me the most. Does Brian Kelly really believe in running the football? I hate having to ask that question at this juncture.

This was a heartbreaking loss for a program looking to re-plant itself in the national scene after an embarrassing 0-2 start. That will have to wait. I can only hope this loss doesn't kill recruiting too much. USC middle linebacker Chris Galippo after the game said that the Irish quit, and that's what Notre Dame football is all about. While saying such things to the media is immature and petulant (particularly after Galippo was run over by Robert Hughes last year in the coliseum), he unfortunately is correct right now.It's up to ND's players to change that perception.

The Sooners falter: Perhaps the only fan base more despondent after this weekend is that of Oklahoma.The preseason #1 fell to Texas Tech Saturday night in Norman, a stunning result not just because of the loss, but because the Sooners have been so dominant at home in recent years. Despite all his success, this game will turn up the heat on Bob Stoops, who hasn't been able to guide the Sooners to an undefeated regular season since 2004. Every year there seems to be a choke game, and Saturday was it for 2011.

Sparty's magical run: I remember being sad after the ND-USC game, but even that didn't stop me from getting into the wild finish in East Lansing, which saw Wisconsin march back to tie the game, only to lose on a hail mary as time expired. The attitude around the Michigan State program has done a complete 180 since John L. Smith left as the Spartans now pull out these wild finishes regularly. The last big test for MSU will be a road trip to Nebraska. I can't believe ND beat this team.
Stanford is awesome: It's one of the cruel twists of sports fate that Stanford, with its lack of fan support and facilities, would have the kind of football team I wish Notre Dame had. That's what happens when Jim Harbaugh rebuilds your program and you have a once in a decade signal caller in Andrew Luck. The Cardinals rushed for 446 yards (yes, that number is correct) against a top 25 Huskies team. Nothing sickens me more than having to watch those quirky nerds at Stanford enjoy good football while I have to watch the shit I watched Saturday.

Looking ahead to Week 9

The Cocktail Party: Georgia takes on Florida in Jacksonville in the rivalry dubbed 'The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party'. I love how so many college rivalries take place on the same weekend each year. The actual game is pretty important too, as the winner will be in good position for the SEC East (although Florida would still have some work to do). Georgia has played well since falling to 0-2, but hasn't had a huge win yet, the win at Tennessee notwithstanding. I like the Bulldogs in this game, look for freshman Isiah Crowell to run wild on the Gators.

Oklahoma at Kansas State: Can the Sooners get some revenge by ruining the Wildcats' undefeated season? In 2003, an Oklahoma team that was considered one of the best ever was shocked by Kansas State at Arrowhead, behind the amazing play of Darren Sproles. This game could provide some decade old redemption.

Stanford at USC: Stanford is going to pound the rock down USC's throat, and I am going to enjoy it only slightly, knowing that this is what ND should have done last weekend.

Clemson at Georgia Tech: This is a potential preview of the ACC title game in December. Can the Tigers keep rolling? Everyone is waiting for the usual Clemson falter, but it hasn't yet come. I think this weekend could be it. I like Tech at home.

Michigan State at Nebraska: A huge game for the Big Ten legends division. The winner will be in the driver's seat. It should be old-school, smash mouth football in Lincoln. Michigan State is due for a let down game.

Navy at Notre Dame: If ND loses any of the next 4 games, the program will be dead and it will never recover.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

(ESPN) During the NFL lockout, when he was banned from working with the Washington Redskins' training staff, he could've hired the best physical therapists around to help him with the left knee that was feeling stiff from surgery in January. Instead, he figured he would handle it himself. He didn't think the knee was that bad. It was a decision that essentially cost him a season, and maybe his career. The knee didn't recover. He missed almost all of training camp and muddled through five games, unable to run more than 10 yards without pain. He had the knee drained 15 times. This week, coach Mike Shanahan placed the two-time Pro Bowl tight end on injured reserve. "I fell 100 percent that I'm a casualty for the season of the lockout," Cooley said Thursday. "I think it was a shame that they didn't let players who had surgery spend time with the doctors and trainers they trust on daily basis, I wish I could've." "I can ice it at home," he added. "I can do things at home, but it's a shame it is the way it is, and there's no one to blame. I guess the person to truly blame would be to say I should've thought more about it. ... I probably should have taken more time rehabbing initially, and that's again stubbornness of me thinking I'm going to be OK". "That's something I think about all the time," Cooley said, "is 'Why didn't I go to a physical therapy place in March?'"

Cry me river bro. So you couldn't work out with the Redskins training staff or use their facilities for a few months last spring and now you're claiming your trip to the IR is "100% a casualty for the season of the lockout."? Give me a break! You've made millions of dollars exercising for a living. If you were so concerned about your hurt knee why didn't you look into having it fixed on your own during the lockout? You're 29 years old, you shouldn't need Mike Shanahan telling you when to go the doctors. You could have had your choice of any rehab center in the country but instead you sat on your ass, played video games and the shit didn't heal right. This should be a non story, nobody to blame but yourself bud. See you next season. Maybe.

(MNT) Florida has a knack of bringing out the best in people. Take the Sikkenga family from Gillete, Wyoming. In all-American fashion, 31-year-old Nathan Sikkenga had driven his wife and 9-year-old son cross-country to see Disney World. But the 'rents were on vacation too. And when they got sloshed, they handed the minivan keys to their kid -- who promptly crashed. The prepubescent designated driver crashed into a security gate just before midnight on Saturday. An Orange County Sheriff's deputy saw the minor's mishap and arrested his dad. The elder Sikkenga was charged with third-degree child endangerment, a felony.

See if this were the 80's I would say this man is a terrible father and should be jailed for letting his 9 year old get behind the wheel of a car. But the fact of the matter is it's 2011. Everything has accelerated tenfold. Nowadays 9 year olds have iPhones and shit. They're pretty much capable of doing anything. They send texts, watch YouTube videos, Skype with their friends, Edit Html scripts, it's insane. The average 9 year old is 100x more technologically advanced than the average 70 year old and those old timers are still aloud to push the pedal to the metal, so what's wrong with letting little man get his Dale Earnhardt on for Pop Dukes?

Somewhere out there Latarian Milton is cackling while doing hoodrat stuff with his friends. Little homie made it several miles through Lake Park in Palm Beach Gardens and this kid couldn't even make it out of the security gate! Amateur hour indeed.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

As far as society goes, it’s hard to say what it takes for kids these days to do what they're “supposed to do.” And by this I mean, graduate high school, get a diploma, go to college, get a degree, then after all the schooling is over with, of course the next step is to get a good job. For some, the struggle is not finding a good job, or finding the time to do well in school, or even getting into, let alone graduating from college. For some, the struggle is more-so convincing themselves that it's all worth it. Let's face it- society has its problems. We have massive amounts of corruption in government, a significant gap between our nation’s rich and poor and we're constantly involving ourselves in wars which we have no business being a part of for profit. Everyone is too busy concerned themselves with material items and their own appearance that no one really seems to care about morality, or even doing the right thing anymore. Ironically, it tends to be the most level headed people that are looked down upon to be the outcasts of the world.

The film SLC Punk, written by James Merendino, explores the mind of one Stevo, a high school and college graduate punk with surprisingly stellar grades, in my opinion, brilliantly played by Matthew Lilliard(Scream, Without A Paddle, Scooby Doo). Throughout the film he gives his inner thoughts about his take on society, as well as what he does to differentiate himself from the so-called norm. Stevo introduces himself as a die hard punk with anarchist views in which structure and control should be not-existent and in which chaos is the only true form of government. Throughout the film he bashes “posers” for being fake punks with ambitions of eventually joining society in their fight to maintain normality in the world and to join “the system.” He also goes on to make fun of skinheads, mods, new-wavers, geeks and what he considers to be the arch nemesis of the punks, red necks. He describes justifies his hate for red necks "because they represent everything (wrong) about America, embracing racism, ignorance and undying love for their country which is the absolute opposite of a punk." Punks will embrace anyone with the same morals as them, whether they dress the part or at least contribute to them in certain ways in which they will benefit. Even if that means simply being able to maintain a solid argument about why they feel their beliefs are more valid than someone else’s.

In a world where people are constantly being judged and evaluated based on what they do for a living, how much money they make, or their overall appearance, those that feel these things are unimportant to them often turn to other means of expressing them self, which often times tends to lead to a belief that the best type of government is no government at all. Anarchy is, as far as society is concerned, the very root of all evil because of the way that it sets us up for utter chaos and ultimately leads to the end of the world. Throughout the film SLC Punk, Stevo and several other characters in the movie talk about the “the end” as if it is something to look forward to. One scene in specific takes place towards the second half of the film when Stevo and Sandy, who is his girlfriend at the time, trip acid in a park and chat about how “beautiful” the end of the world is going to be. It takes until Stevo runs into an old friend and fellow punk Sean, who very early on in the film unintentionally experiences a massive amount of acid, causing him to basically lose his mind, and is eventually sent to a mental hospital after attempting to stab his mother while tripping. Stevo sees Sean a couple years down the road on the streets begging for money and comes to the realization that what Sean was experiencing, being homeless and miserable, was ultimately true anarchy, and that it was not the “beautiful” conclusion that he and Sandy had imagined. It was actually quite sad.

Another turning point for Stevo was experiencing the unexpected death of his best friend, Heroin Bob (who was given this name not because of drug use but because of his immense fear of needles), at a party in which he was drinking excessively and after complaining about having a headache, Bob was given Percodan and died in his sleep of drug overdose. The irony in Heroin Bob’s death was that he was about as straight edge as punks come, abstaining from any type of drugs besides cigarettes and alcohol, normally including any type of pill even as simple as an aspirin tablet. After Heroin Bob’s death, Stevo realizes that the same thing could happen to him if he continues the way he has been living with his punk ways and overwhelming anarchist beliefs. Near the conclusion of the film Stevo is shown at Bob’s funeral with a shaved head(contrary to his wild blue hair that he sports throughout the film leading up to this) and “normal” clothes, showing that he has made a transformation of mind and body and that his youthful punk ways are over with.

In the final soliloquy of the film Stevo goes on to describe his intentions on attending Harvard Law School, and to follow in the foot steps of his father and become a lawyer. This is an obvious, direct contradiction of everything that he had once stood for. His explanation for his vast turn around is that he understands that being a punk and practicing the ideas of anarchy really lead you nowhere. As far as society is concerned, there is no sufficient outcry capable of changing the way things are, no matter how extreme they may be. In this final scene Stevo mentions that his youthful self would probably “kick his future self’s ass,” and eventually admits that he was in fact a “trendy ass poser” all along. Between seeing anarchy at it’s lowest of lows in Sean, and mourning the death of his best friend, whom he eventually blames for directing him to become a punk in the first place. Stevo becomes a symbol of change and transformation and the perfect model for one route in which a youth in revolt “grows up” and becomes an adult. After all, “we can do a hell of a lot more damage in the system than outside of it.”

I guess this morning on the train was the first time I ever actually paid attention to the lyrics of this song. For about a month now I had just assumed this was the new, trendy song that teenagers got high too (from the MGMT, Phoenix mold). Has kind of a funky, soft, psychedelic beat to it and for all I knew the references to "Pumped up kicks" was a homage to Reebok pumps. Needless to say I feel a little dumb here when you actually look at what the lyrics are:

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,You'd better run, better run, outrun my gunAll the other kids with the pumped up kicksYou'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet"

Still a dope tune, but definitely has the potential to insight a bad trip if absorbed in the wrong mental state.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

(HC) At Wolcott High School one morning last week, an urgent announcement crackled over the intercom: a threatening intruder was in the building and students were told to immediately take refuge in classrooms. Doors were locked and police, with dogs, moved in. Students stayed huddled in classrooms where they were told to stay away from the windows. But what sounded like a frightening situation was just a search for narcotics. Drug-sniffing dogs combed the school while students stayed in locked classrooms, believing that an attacker was roaming the halls. After 10 minutes we say this is a drill and at that point we started a search for drugs,'' McCary said. "We are providing a safe and secure nurturing environment." No drugs turned up in the search. An email from the high school to parents explained the event, without mentioning the intruder story. It was described as a "lockdown intervention drill" where "two police dogs swept the hallway lockers, locker rooms and the student parking lot.''When are people going to finally come to the realization that the war on drugs was a bigger mistake than 'Nam? Like seriously how low do you have to go? Faking a Columbine-esq. attack on your students just so you can have free reign over their lockers? If you're gonna pull a stunt like that you better make sure you strike gold with an E bomb stash or some methamphetamines. A couple nickle bags won't do the trick. But oh yea, THEY DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING! Hell, even if they had found the stash they were looking for, how would they have even explained themselves after? "Uh, yea, so we captured the gunman.. and as we were walking him away in handcuffs we smelt weed coming from your locker so we broke in and confiscated it?" Either way you slice it the school comes off looking like huge, untrustworthy douches. If I went to Wollcot I would boycott after that fear mongering display of intrusion. That type of behavior is unethical and inexcusable and the administration should be ashamed of themselves. Heads should roll.

(Yahoo!) An 87-year-old Indiana man was arraigned on drug charges in federal court in Detroit on Monday after police found 228 pounds of cocaine worth an estimated $2.9 million in his pickup following a routine traffic stop. A state trooper patrolling Interstate 94 near Ann Arbor pulled over Leo Earl Sharp on Friday for following too closely and executing an improper lane change. When the trooper asked Sharp if he could search the truck, the octogenarian refused. So the trooper requested a backup unit with a dog trained to detect bombs and illegal drugs. During a subsequent search of the truck bed, troopers found 104 bricks of cocaine stashed in five bags. Sharp was released on $10,000 bond and charged with conspiracy and possession with intent to distribute cocaine. If convicted, he faces at least 10 years in prison.

I know I over use the hell out of this phrase, but one more time ain't going to kill me. Let's just say this wasn't Leo Earl Sharp's first rodeo. Despite telling judges that he was "forced at gunpoint" to carry the load, I'm not buying it. Just look at those nostrils will ya? Cocaine is practically dripping down from them. Everything about him just screams coke mule. Bald head but still holding on to his white mutton chops from his glory days for dear life. Beady eyes like he's been up for days on end. They say $2.9 million dollars worth of blow was seized by police, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that was a $3 million dollar delivery when Mr. Sharp first got behind the wheel. Blowing gaggers every few exits, probably stopped off and made it rain at some seedy strip clubs along the way too. My guess is Poppa Smurf's been supplying the greater Indiana region with booger sugar since the early 80's.

So today I tip my (non-existent) hat to you Leo. You had a hell of a run.

P.S. Is there a better name for a grandpa drug dealer than Leo Earl Sharp? I've been trying to write fiction for years now and I've never came up with anything that awesome. Fucking guy.

P.P.S. Dude definitely had an "Ass, Gas or Grass- Nobody Rides For Free" bumper sticker on his truck. I just get that kind of vibe from his mugshot.

(Huff Po) Although Tim Tebow filmed a Superbowl commercial in 2010 for the anti-gay, anti-abortion organization Focus On The Family (FOTF), he seems to have no problem sharing a male-on-male lip-lock in front of thousands (millions?) of onlookers. On Sunday, the Denver Broncos quarterback kissed Demaryius Thomas after Thomas caught a touchdown pass. The Broncos went on to beat the Dolphins 18-15. Tebow's feelings about homosexuality and gay marriage remain unclear. This summer, when asked about gay marriage by The Washington Post, his publicist jumped in and rejected the question. Still, if an NFL quarterback and card-carrying member of FOTF wants to go around very publicly kissing other men on the mouth, we're OK with that.

Saw this article earlier today about Tim Tebow apparently kissing teammate Demaryius Thomas. Let me start by first saying I’m not a homophobe. What two guys do with each other is none of my business just keep it behind closed doors (my personal policy on all relationships) and I’m good. What two girls do is completely different though, depending on if their the hot cinemax lesbians or the mean kind.

I kind of understand where the Huffington Post is coming from. Liberal news blog doing their best to assert that Tim Tebow, sworn pro-life, anti-abortion, anti-gay athlete, might be gay. Couldn’t totally rule it out, I mean the guy went to the University of Florida which is a huge party school, 2 time national champion, Heisman trophy winner, could’ve had any girl he wanted but he remained celibate. That’s gotta be like the worse kind of torture imaginable but at the same time I think it might have made him a better athlete by allowing him to concentrate on his game with little or no distractions. Ultimitaly allowing him to win the aforementioned 2 national championships and Heisman throphy.

As far as the kiss goes, it’s kind of hard to tell. Not trying to make excuses just seems to me like their heads just kinda bumped into each other as he was trying to say something into Demaryius Thomas’ ear. Clearly it was not a drawn out affair, I mean the video had to freeze frame on the one possible second it might possibly be construed as a kiss. I feel like this is yet another attempt to keep Tim Tebow down. Just a great competitor and athlete not worried about the money and the fame and people always criticizing him cause they can’t understand the man’s work ethic. Haters gonna hate, Slaters gonna slate. Tebow proving his critics wrong, as sure a thing as slutty costumes on Halloween. CAN’T WAIT.

So what do you guys think? Tweet to me @adam23h or @danye33 with the hashtag #2manweave and let us know what you think. Kiss or just another attempt to keep Tebow down? The first 5 people to tweet me or Danye get free coupons to Bennigan’s or I’ll buy you a beer or whatever, we’ll figure something out.

-Bacon

Ed. Note- I don't know what the fuck Bennigan's is but I WANT IN. Sounds like a good place for some burgers and shenanigans.

To all my SneakerHeads out there, these Jordan 3's are a must cop for your beloved kicks collection. If you consider yourself a SneakerHead without a legitimate collection, then these are certainly a great pair to grab as a starting point for you to potentially build upon. For those of you who could care less about a stupid sneaker collection and are asking yourself "What the heck is this Sneakerhead you speak of?" these are unquestionably a pair of Jordans that will turn heads and have you looking fresh to death.

For those wondering, a SneakerHead is one who respects the sneaker. A SneakerHead dresses from the ground up. A SneakerHead never, ever, ever, buys a pair of knockoffs because; A) You will be called out as a phoogaizy wearing biznitch B) You will look like a clown and most definitely be shunned from the sneaker game FOR-EV-ER. As far as a collection is concerned, you don't have to own a certain amount of sneakers but you must, and I repeat must, genuinely care for the sneakers you own and appreciate all that the sneaker has to offer.

Now, I like to consider myself a SneakerHead for the fact I keep myself updated on all the latest release dates of Air Jordan's and Nike's as a whole, along with being the proud owner of what my parents like to refer to as an "excessive" amount of sneakers. They tell me they all look the same but what do they know? My father wears snakeskin boots and I bet if I wrote down "Nike" on a piece of paper and showed it to him, he'd think I misspelled my first name (Mike; funny, I know). Anyways, lets be honest, not everybody has money to throw at a pair of sneakers every time there's a new release because in reality this is an everyday occurrence. That's why you must pace yourself and that's why I'm writing this piece, to let you know that IT'S TIME TO SAVE UP!

Some people may not want to waste their money on sneakers in the first place due to the fact they just don't care. To those people, this post isn't for you and quite frankly if you enjoy rockin' the same pair of crusty sneakers that are suppose to be white but now are brown with the sole floppin' around that makes it look like it's talking, then you have some issues. Wearing a pair of sneakers until the toes curl up making them look like elf shoes should be a crime. That flat out disgusts me and to a SneakerHead that is a sin.

This post is more for the individual that keeps their dingleberry radar 24/7 on the lookout for that asshole at the bar that comes stumbling into you and smugging your J's (Jordan's averaging around 185$ a pair) leaving a huge, permanent, makes you sick every time you look, eye sore of a scuff mark that ruins your sneakers till the end of time. This is the worst that could possibly happen which makes spending that much cheddar questionable in the first place, but naturally helps you become one with your sneakers doing everything in your power to prevent this. Everybody knows that sneakers inevitably get dirty, they get old, and they get creased up but a Sneakerhead truly values his newly acquired kicks and does everything he can to delay this process known as "aging." (This is a whole different topic)

With that being said, these Air Jordan 3's are the type of release you wait for. The type of release that is worthy of passing up all those other sneakers and choosing to buy these instead. What makes this sneaker so iconic is they are the first sneaker of all the Jordan brand to display the then new material known as the elephant print. For those who don't know what this is, I'm sure you can take a guess (on the tongue and heel). That's what makes these so special. And oh yea, I forgot to mention the last time these dropped was about 7 years ago. For me, the reason I like this sneaker so much is because these are the sneakers (Air Jordan 3's) that MJ wore during the slam dunk contest where he threw it down from the free throw line. That's just bonkers and is something that will be remembered forever and continue to live on through the Air Jordan Retro 3's. So stop bullshittin' and start putting away some dolla dolla bills y'all, because the Retro 3's pack a powerful punch of style and history that you don't want to pass up again.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Originally, I had planned on doing an Awesome 90's Song You May Have Forgotten and a Music Videos That Don't Suck feature on Weezer's Undone (The Sweater Song) and Buddy Holly, respectively. But by revisiting the Blue album, it became more and more apparent to me that this is a piece of artwork that needs to be brought back to everyones attention in its entirety. So without further ado, I present to you a song by song re-cap of one of my favorite 90's albums of all time.

Track 1- "My Name Is Jonas" Great choice to kick off this disc. Seven seconds of soft, beautiful guitar harmonies abruptly disrupted by some tough drum beats and a cranked up amp. We've got ourselves a real rock and roll song right here. Jonas apparently deals with Cuomo's brother Leaves who had been seriously injured in a car accident and then had a hard time paying off his medical bills afterwards. Not that you would be able to pick that up from the lyrics, but still a great energy song to get this party started. This song was also one of my favorites to play on Guitar Hero 3.

Track 2- "No One Else" In this song Rivers sings about wanting a girl "who will laugh for no one else" and I gotta admit, I'm with him on this one. Laughter is an aphrodisiac and if you can keep you're girl smiling, you'll keep your girl. Period. Cuomo is quoted describing the narrator of No One Else as "the jealous-obsessive asshole in me freaking out on my girlfriend". Definitely one of the more "pop" sounding songs on the Blue album, but it still makes for great background music on long car rides.

Track 3 "The World Has Turned And Left Me Here" Now we're fucking talking! This is the first time we get to hear some real, raw emotion out of the California quartet. To piggyback on what Cuomo said about No One Else, he claims that The World Has Turned is about "that same asshole (that was over jealous, is now) wondering why she's gone". The lyrics in this song are so painfully life like. In short, if you've ever been dumped, you can 100% relate to this song.

"The world has turned and left me here,Just where I was before you appeared,And in your place an empty space,Has filled the void behind my face"

Track 4 "Buddy Holly" The second single off the Blue album, Buddy Holly, is probably responsible for being the bands catalyst to fame, at least initially. Spike Jonez directed the music video for this song and it was shot in the original "Arnold's Drive-In Diner" from the show Happy Days. The video did an amazing job of capturing the feel of the 50's, and would go on to win 4 moon men at the 1995 MTV VMA's. God damn those outfits were awesome.

Filled with countless "hoo hoo's" and "oh oh's", the doo whop swing was in full effect in this effort and it remains one of Weezer's most popular songs to date.

Track 5 "Undone- The Sweater Song" Not unlike the Sublime song Badfish, Undone begins with the sound of party goers conversing lightly about casual subject such as "It's been a while man, life's so rad!" and "Aw man, it's gonna be the best, I'm so stoked! Take it easy bra'." It gives it a nice, laid back feel, that sticks with it for the duration of the track. The Sweater Song was intended to be a sad song, but "everyone thinks it's hilarious" says Cuomo.

"If you want to destroy my sweater,Pull this thread as I walk away (as I walk away),Watch me unravel ill soon be naked,Lying on the floor, lying on the floor,I've come undone"

Track 6 "Surf Wax America" An ode to surfing that would make the Beach Boys proud, this song hits the ground running and does a great job of setting the scene with its lyrics. "You take your car to work, I'll take my board. And when your out of fuel, I'm still afloat". Total hippie stuff, but in this case it works (unlike most hippies- ZING!).

Track 7 "Say It Ain't So" This song is the Mona Lisa of the Blue album. It's the darkest song, as illustraded by a verse where Rivers Cuomo writes a drunken letter to his father "in spite of years of silence" but that is not to say the song doesn't have it's lighter moments too (Somebody's Heine', is crowding my ice box, anyone?). The rift and baseline for this song is just beautiful, and it would later go on to be sampled as the beat for Asher Roth's 2008 anthem, "I Love College." I still have trouble differentiating if this song is about a girl ("Your drug is a heartbreaker") or just a cocktail of different internal problems that the guy is going through. Regardless, my favorite verse has always been the one with the waterfall line in it.

"I can't confront you,I never could do,That which might hurt you,So try and be cool,When I say,This way is a waterslide away from me that takes you further every day,So be cool"

Track 8 "In The Garage" An ode to being young and alone in that special place that gives you comfort. In this case, the singer feels at ease while surrounded in his garage by posters of his favorite rock band, KISS ("I've got Ace Frehley. I've got Peter Criss. Waiting there for me, yes I do"). Well, yea, that and his collection of Dungeons and Dragons.

Track 9 "Holiday" The message in this song is loud and clear- it's about convincing a girl to runaway with you on an endless holiday. A great idea, but I could see how pesky little things like jobs, family and mortgages could stand in the way of the execution.

Track 10 "Only In Dreams" Perfect way to end a perfect album. This song is about being in love with a girl and how that relationship is different in real life than the relationship he's constructed in his dreams. Just bringing everything full circle as always. Relatable through and through. This is why we listen to, and love, Weezer.

"Only in dreams We see what it means. Reach out our hands. Hold onto hers. But when we wake It's all been erased. And so it seems Only in dreams."

Carson Palmer made his Raiders debut yesterday, in a 28-0 loss to their division rival Kansas City Chiefs. He sported the #3 for the first time since his Heisman trophy winning days at USC, and decided to celebrated the return to his old number by throwing just as many picks. This was a banner weekend for the number three. Albert "Winnie The" Pujols hit three home runs in Game 3 of the World Series, the #3 Sooners lost to Texas Tech at home in a game in which they were 30 point favorites, Plaxico Burress caught three touchdown passes to lead the Jets over the Chargers and Ke$ha contracted three new forms of VD!

Too soon bruh, everyone knows you have to wait at least 90 days before making post mortal sobriety jokes on Twitter.

Landry, Landry, Landry. I expect better from a Stanford grad. Everyone knows once fall hits Six Flags is closed during the week. It's common sense. The kids are at school and park devotes all their time/effort to Fright Fest on the weekends. What I'm more concerned about is finding this breakfast spot that Fields speaks of. Five bucks for two sandwiches? Sign me up! I swear I went to get a bacon egg and cheese the other day from this deli in my town and the shit came out to like five and change. Prices inflating left and right like a muhfuggah. I know during the season Landry lives in White Plains, New York, but I have feeling (saw on twitter) that he has moved back out to Cali during the lockout. Either way, you cannot beat 2 for $5. I will find this place.

Worst. Joke. Ever.

I'm not kidding when I say this is the worst play on words using a players first or last name in the history of shitty sports jokes. As noted before, Palmer threw 3 ints and looked like a deer in the headlights all game so that fact that Skip thought they were "risking the game" by not playing a guy who hasn't practiced in 10 months is a joke in itself. But "Bo(w)ler"? That's what ya got for me, really? I think the reason this tweet upset me so much is because I am usually a fan of Skip's work. I respect his attitude and willingness to debate anyone on any topic, and his over the top self confidence makes for great television and sports journalism. However, no one gets a free pass from the 2 Man Weave, and when you make a terrible joke you will get called out for it. There are no exceptions.

Secondly, I'm shocked to see that people still tweet from web nowadays? Now I know that's very first worldish of me to say, but seriously, I thought twitter was strictly an app/phone thing at this point? Skip keeping it old school. I like it.

TWEET OF THE WEEK

Poor Ricky :(. He doesn't like to use twitter because people still make fun of him for being a pot head. Umm bro if you don't want people making fun of your weed habits then maybe you should have thought twice before failing multiple drugs, leaving the NFL in the prime of your career, filming a 30 for 30 that featured you heavily promoting and smoking weed, and referring to yourself as the "poster child for marijuana." I would never hate on Ricky, but like the great American poet Ludacris said in his song What Them Girls Like "If you can't take the heat, then get the fuck out the kitchen."

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Geez is all smiles after jumping from Mush to the King's Throne in just one week
The gang remains separated by just two games heading into week 7. With lots of the more entertaining teams on byes this week (Giants, Eagles, Pats, Bills, 49ers) we're left with some ugly match ups come Sunday (Fins/Broncos, Browns/Seahawks etc.). However, there are still some interesting story lines to look out for. Notedly, Tim Tebow's first career start in Miami, the Bears and Buccs battling it out overseas and the potential debut of Carlson Palmer in Oakland. This week we unanimously picked the Panthers, Cowboys, Saints and Ravens to cover, and my choice for 3 team teaser of the week is Atl +9.5, G.B. -2.5 and Bal -1.5. That is if gambling were legal, of course.

"It's as satisfying to me as, uh, coming is, you know? As, ah, having sex with a woman and coming. And so can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like, uh, getting the feeling of coming in a gym, I'm getting the feeling of coming at home, I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up, when I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. I mean, it's terrific. Right? So you know, I am in heaven."

As I left work this evening at 9:45, my thoughts were consumed with the issues I would have to confront the following day. It’s been a rough two weeks at the office, with tight deadlines and the stress to match. Upon stepping outside, however, I became distracted by the freshness of the brisk fall evening, the rustle of leaves from a robust breeze, and that autumnal smell that seems to remind everyone that it’s football season. I reflected briefly on why this 8 week stretch is the best of the year and how much I enjoy college football Saturdays in late October. This coming Saturday though, is different from the rest. This Saturday, the football teams from the University of Notre Dame and the University of Southern California will meet for the 83rd time in the greatest intersectional rivalry in college sports. Many rivalries were born of necessity. Most sprung up due to geographic proximity or conference affiliation. They are great rivalries, often filled with passionate hate for the opponent. Sometimes, this hate can boil over in unseemly ways. Notre Dame-USC, on the other hand, is rivalry that never had to exist. Both schools, having been denied quality opponents by the college football power brokers of the time, found in each other worthy opponents. Over the years, the duo has amassed more accolades than any other rivalry, including the most combined national championships (21) and Heisman trophy winners (14). Neither side has ever considered dropping the other, even during bad stretches, as the rivalry holds a place above all others.

With that being said, let me turn to this week’s showdown. Obviously, 2011 isn’t the peak of this rivalry, but both schools have good teams this year. USC is a solid 5-1, with the one loss at Arizona State (who has one of the best defenses in the country). Frankly I’m surprised the Trojans aren’t ranked right now. Notre Dame is 4-2, having overcome a disastrous 0-2 start, mostly wrought by its own mistakes (10 turnovers in those 2 games, including 5 in the red zone). The team we’ve seen the past few weeks though has been what we thought it could be at the start of the year. The Michigan State win is starting to look very impressive. Scoring the most points since the Lou Holtz era two weeks ago against Air Force isn’t too shabby either. But the bottom line is, we won’t know much about ND until Saturday night at 11:30. A win would set up a huge second half that could really get this program rolling again. A loss would, well let’s not go there.

Notre Dame can win this game if it slows down USC’s passing attack. It will be difficult to shut it down, only because Matt Barkley and Robert Woods are stars who will be playing on Sundays. They’ll get their yards, so the key is to prevent that one huge play that puts momentum on USC’s side. What helps in this endeavor is that USC’s running game has been suspect all year, and ND’s run defense is its strength. If the Irish can shut down the run with their front 7, it will allow the safeties to play back to provide some support against Woods and the other super-talented receivers. On offense, I look for ND to establish the run. The USC teams of the past two years have lacked that toughness and edge that seemed so abundant during the Pete Carroll era. The underrated aspects of those teams were the ability to run the football and stop the run. Sure, Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart drew all the headlines, but the Trojans won titles and BCS bowls because guys like Lendale White were running the football behind big, tough offensive lines. That part of USC football seems to have gone by the wayside (no doubt brought about by the mediocre coaching and strange personality of Lane Kiffin). At the very least, I know that Notre Dame will not be out-toughed by USC, and that’s a really nice feeling. I hesitate to give a prediction for this game, if only because I’m a bit superstitious. I don’t expect a blowout in either
direction.

One last aspect of this game I’ll touch on is the recruiting implications. This will be one of the biggest recruiting weekends for any school all year. The visitor list is a who’s who of the nation’s elite high school prospects, including running back Keith Marshall, who I feel will be a legit star. A big night for Notre Dame would have huge effects on future recruiting, and would go a long way to bringing ND back to an Alabama-level of recruiting year in and year out.

Looking back at Week 7:

Tense times in the Palmetto state: South Carolina and Clemson didn’t make it easy, but both found ways to win despite not bringing their best games to the table. The Gamecocks needed a touchdown in the final minutes to overcome Mississippi State 14-12. Connor Shaw struggled a bit, but made plays when he had to. This was a game that South Carolina would have lost in past years (see Kentucky last year), so the fact that they pulled it out is a big positive. Clemson, meanwhile, overcame an 18 point deficit at Maryland to win a shootout 56-45. Like South Carolina, this is a game that Clemson teams of the past would lose, so getting a win was huge. Both teams continue to march towards potentially the biggest South Carolina-Clemson game in years.Sparty beats up ‘Little Sister’: The chants of ‘Little Sister’ could be heard well throughout Spartan Stadium Saturday afternoon as Michigan State closed out its fourth straight win against intrastate rival Michigan. They were in response to Mike Hart’s infamous comment 4 years ago that Michigan State is Michigan’s ‘Little Brother’. That comment has been haunting, as the Wolverines have not beaten the Spartans since. Michigan State showed impressive defense in disrupting Denard Robinson all day. Sure, the Spartans played dirty, but Michigan didn’t take advantage of the personal fouls they were given. Mark Dantonio is doing an incredible job at MSU and has had the most success there since Nick Saban. Meanwhile, it’s a reality check for a Michigan team that should not have been ranked anywhere near the top 10.

Top 4 cruising: LSU, Alabama, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State continue to cruise without breaking a sweat. Right now these four teams are in the driver’s seat for the BCS title game, all controlling their own destiny.

Looking ahead to Week 8:

Brawl in East Lansing: Wisconsin travels to Michigan State to face a Spartans team that’s in the middle of one of the best 2-year runs in its history. This might be Wisconsin’s best chance of losing a game this year, and they should be plenty fired up after falling to Michigan State last year 34-24 in their only blemish of 2010. I’m really impressed with MSU, as noted above, and think they have an excellent shot at pulling the upset. I can’t wait to see Wisconsin’s offensive line against MSU’s defensive front seven.

Stanford’s first test: The Cardinal have quietly cruised to an undefeated record, blowing out everyone in their path. They face their first true test this week however against a Washington squad that is a surprising 5-1. The Huskies have made incredible strides under Steve Sarkisian, climbing from the 0-12 hole they were left in by Ty Willingham to respectability. Washington has a lot of potential to be an elite program, as it was in the early 90s when it won a national title. A win would resonate with recruits and really get the Huskies going. First, they have to slow down Andrew Luck though.

Auburn at LSU: This shouldn’t be a very good game, honestly. It’s strange. The SEC, while supposedly having so much parity, seems to produce teams each year that absolutely roll through the competition on the way to a national title. There haven’t really been many exciting SEC games this year (I might have been at one of them, although the 16-13 Auburn win over South Carolina was hardly ‘exciting’.) We may just have to wait until November 5th for the big showdown.

North Carolina vs. Clemson: This could be another tricky game for the Tigers, as the Tarheels have tons of talent and should be motivated by the potential for a signature win. Can Clemson really get to 8-0? It would be an incredible start for a team that has been maligned for so many years.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

(ESPN) Top-ranked LSU suspended cornerbacks Tyrann Mathieu and Tharold Simon and tailback Spencer Ware from the team after they tested positive for synthetic marijuana in a school-administered drug test. Synthetic marijuana is sold as blends of exotic herbs and plant materials and are coated with chemicals called synthetic cannabinoids, which produce a marijuana-like high when smoked. In March the DEA banned for one year the sale and possession of synthetic marijuana, which is commonly known by its brand names "Spice" and "K2." The DEA said its action was necessary to "avoid an imminent hazard to the public safety." Possessing or selling synthetic marijuana is now illegal as the DEA and Department of Health and Human Services studies whether the substance should be regulated on a permanent basis. According to the DEA, dangerous side effects of using synthetic marijuana include convulsions, anxiety attacks, dangerously elevated heart rates, increased blood pressure, vomiting and disorientation. The DEA said synthetic marijuana use has become increasingly popular among teenagers and young adults. "It's an epidemic," a person familiar with the LSU case. "It's not just here, it's everywhere. It's scary because the kids don't know anything about it. It's a student-body issue, not just a student-athlete issue."

Hmm this synthetic marijuana stuff sounds pretty dangerous huh? Convulsions, elevated heart rates, increased blood pressure, vomiting, anxiety attacks, disorientation and in some cases, even death. I wonder how we could get rid of such a crippling problem? Oh wait, I have an idea. How about we make REAL MARIJUANA legal so that kids don't go as far as DYING to get their hands on the fake shit. What is wrong with this country, seriously? The sole reason that weed is illegal today is because of William Randolph Hearst's smear campaignes from the 1930's. The dude was too cheap to switch his newspapers over to hemp so he started printing lies about how blacks and Mexicans were smoking this new thing called "marijuana" and raping white women. I'm not going to go into my other reasons for why it should be legal, for the sake of not wanting to drift too far off topic, but I will say this. One day people will look back at this era where pot was illegal and talk about the ridiculousness of it in the same way that we now refer to alcohol prohibition and segregation. We're constantly evolving, and to think that we have it right now is asinine.

Back to the matter at hand though- the football players. Pretty sneaky move testing for the Spice if you ask me. Like there's no way these three guys were up on the latest DEA rulings of last March that apparently banned this synthetic bullshit for "one year". These guys probably thought they were doing the right thing by not smoking the real devil's lettuce and look what happened? Just another notch on the old belt for the storied Tigers. First their quarterback curb stomps a Marine and now this? Good ole LSU just sitting in first place in the AP Poll, Coaches Poll and total number of players arrested. Talk about a great institution for higher learning.

(Huff Post) For one Iowa couple, true love lasted until the very end. Married 72 years, Norma, 90, and Gordon Yeager, 94, passed away in the hospital holding hands last week, one hour apart. The couple was hospitalized after a car accident just outside of Marshalltown, Iowa. They were given a shared room in the ICU where they held hands in adjacent beds. At 3:38 pm last Wednesday, Gordon's breathing stopped. Though he had passed, his heart monitor continued to register a beat. The nurse said "that the monitor was beeping "because they're holding hands, and [Norma's heart beat] is going through them." Norma passed at 4:38 pm, exactly one hour later.

If this story doesn't tug on your heart strings, I don't know what will. To be honest I can't really think of a better way to go out then the way Norma and Gordon did it. Granted, they had no business getting behind the wheel of a car once they hit 90, but that's neither here nor there at this point. 70+ years of marriage in a time when the divorce rate is hovering around 50%? Unheard of in this day and age. Let's also throw out the fact that Gordon was a cradle robber back in the day and this will probably go down as my favorite sappy, love story of all time.

I often think about what happens to old people when they lose their spouse after decades upon decades together. I could see it quite literally sucking the will to live right out them, and when it comes down to it, I think that is what makes this such a happy story. Because neither one of them had to go on without one another. It's like Romeo and Juliet, only without the suicide, and if they lived roughly 75 years longer than they did.

P.S. I had no idea it was possible to sustain a heartbeat after you've officially been pronounced dead. Probably the most bad ass thing I've ever read.

P.P.S. Norma Yeager is 10x the woman that Rose from Titanic was. Never let go my ass. Jack sunk like a ton bricks while she posted up on that cozy, wooden, floating door.