Last week I
went to the doctor to talk about my sleep situation – AGAIN! Here is the
situation in a nutshell . . . I have issues sleeping. When I do sleep, I don’t
sleep well, per my sleep study technologist. My brain doesn’t sleep. I can sleep for 12 hours and still not
actually have any restorative sleep. .. Therefore, I have been walking around
sleep deprived for a very long time. My dilemma is that I don’t want to take
anything that makes me groggy; so while I have a prescription for some serious
sleep meds, I rarely use them. On the flipside, I take medication to stay awake
during the day – but I still have consistent daytime sleepiness.

Anyway, back
to last week in my doctor’s office. I was chilling in Patient Room #2 and he
walks in and asks how the sleep situation has been. I explain that the “stay
awake” meds are losing effectiveness and that I am sleeping more frequently,
but with no additional restfulness. He nodded thoughtfully, verified that I still
wanted to refrain from traditional sleep medications, and then made an
unconventional suggestion: “Okay, I want to try something. We are going to combine
a prescription and a supplement to see if the combination will get you to sleep
and keep you asleep. “

Before I
tell you what I am taking, I want to tell you that after taking it for seven
nights straight, I have noticed a difference in my sleep. I am not waking up in
the middle of the night. I am still fighting my alarm clock, but I don’t feel
the “sleep monster” fighting quite as aggressively. I think the stuff is
working. Now for the troubling part. . .

The
prescription portion of this sleep miracle has a detrimental side effect which
occurs in approximately 10% of users. I was not aware of this side effect until
yesterday. I have been experiencing the side effect, however, since Monday
morning, when I bought a Diet Coke, took a drink and gagged. It tasted “off”.
So, I bought a different one, which also tasted terrible. I complained to my
co-worker, “Brack”, who said it tasted fine. The next day, the beer I ordered
tasted “off”. Again, I complained to “Brack”. Wednesday; same story. Soda was
gross. Beer tasted off. Last night was the final straw. I was drinking a swig
of root beer. It was disgusting. Without thinking I said, “I think your root
beer is out of date.” My date took a drink and said it tasted fine. I shook my
head in dismay. What was happening to me?

Then
memories of the past week flooded my brain. I grabbed my phone and Googled “Topamax
and taste”. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am. First search result I read talked
about how a noted side effect of Topamax was . . .“Some people on TOPAMAX may have taste changes
where food or drink tastes differently. This has been reported with carbonated
beverages, for example.“The next result mentioned that
sometimes the issue will go away after a few months. That was really the most
positive thing I could find about the situation.

I have
consumed more water in the past week than I have in the prior 6 months
combined, I think. It is the only beverage thus far that hasn’t tasted
differently. It saddens me. I feel like Meryl Streep at the end of Sophie’s
Choice. Who do I put on the train? Diet Coke or Sleep?

*sniffle*
*sniffle* Good bye, silver and red can of artificial goodness. I hope I will see
you again, soon.