Nigella Lawson Is Getting Ready to Divorce Charles Saatchi

Get out your confetti and streamers, because it looks like Nigella Lawson is drawing up paperwork to divorce her crusty ballsack of a husband, Charles Saatchi. I mean, he accepted a caution for choking her in public just to get it over with, but Nigella’s not having it and she’s not going back. Surprise, surprise, he’s not interested in marital counseling (or abusive asshole treatment, either) and she thinks the relationship is over, so… let’s do this thing.

If she takes him back her ­flourishing career in the US could suffer if Nigella is viewed as a woman prepared to put up with domestic violence.

The aide, who has been in regular contact with her since the incident 10 days ago, said: “Her heart is bleeding right now. She wants out.

“Neither she nor Charles are ­interested in counselling or trying to save the marriage. It seems they’re done and she is broken and desolate.”

The aide is among a group of friends who have spoken anonymously to the Sunday People.

Nigella’s heartache was clear when she was seen out and about on Friday with no sign of her wedding ring. According to those close to her it was a sign that her intention to divorce Saatchi is all too real.

A legal adviser with links to the couple has told the Sunday People a separation agreement is expected to be drawn up shortly and a divorce ­finalised in two years.

The adviser said: “It should be done confidentially and quietly and in a dignified manner.”

But should the divorce turn ­acrimonious Nigella may face losing a chunk of her £20million fortune as most of her fame and earnings have come while married to him.

Uh, first of all, why would she have to pay a single cent to him when he has like 5x more money than she does? It doesn’t make sense. Also, the marriage is ending because HE IS ABUSIVE. Fuck off with all of this. Get out, Nigella – do yourself that favour. (And on a more superficial note: do the world a favour because HOO BOY, you’re hot.)

Yay! I hope the judge screws him financially in the divorce. He is a crusty, narcissistic old fuck that chokes his beautiful wife in public. He must have been a real joy. I bet he can’t even perform in the bedroom. :D roflol