By now you've heard the news that Sriracha, the fiery Thai-descended ketchup that has captured the taste buds of just about everyone with a desire to spice up their mundane meals, may soon become a precious commodity. The California factory that produces it could be forced to cease production until they can install some sort of filtration system to keep the air in their neighborhood from resembling something you'd get sprayed in your face while occupying a college campus. Well, to quell your detox if the trendy topping does find itself relegated to the black market — where's Silk Road when you need it? — we've come up with a list of possible piquant proxies to keep your spiced-up snacking on par.

Tapatio

A modern classic and ubiquitous in California taquerias, Tapatio offers just the right amount of zesty zing accentuated by full flavor. A little spicier than Sriracha, you can apply less to accomplish requisite peppery flavor accents.

Tabasco Sauce

There are seven different varietals of Edmund McIlhenny's all-American pepper sauce, with flavors ranging from original to buffalo to garlic to jalapeno and more. Produced since the mid-1800s, Tabasco is the OG in the U.S. hot sauce market, and for those of you with a super-sized thirst for combustible condiments, you can even buy it in one-gallon jugs, just like your favorite wine.

Ketchup

Okay, so it's boring, at least in comparison to Sriracha's foodie-trend inducing bite. But it's also a classic, slathering burgers, dogs, eggs, anything and everything breaded and fried, and even spreading its tomato-y wings and branching out to shine copper and ward off the unfortunate stench of a skunk-borne disaster. Yummy, versatile, and viscous, ketchup, or catsup if you want to class it up, adds a bit of sweetness without totally tweaking the flavor profile of food, which may be why it has persevered for hundreds of years as the dipping-sauce standard.

Mustard

Made from the seeds of, what else, the mustard plant, and mixed with water, salt, lemon juice and, occasionally, a shocking array of other liquids to effect a yellow-to-brown goop that galley-dwelling alchemists have transmuted into everything from the perfect topping to brats to fruit-infused concoctions suitable for braising beef or dipping bread. Potentially safer to make at home than hot sauce, which can cause Breaking Bad-like conditions if not approached properly, artisanal mustards are all the rage in the foodie scene.

Fish Sauce

What, the thought of salted fermented fish is sketching you out? Well, fish sauce is a staple in Thailand, and in Thai cooking, and not just with creepy-crawly classics like fried grasshopper — we're talking stuff you'dactually eat, like curry or salad dressings. Thai folks basically use it like we would salt and pepper, but it adds a touch more savory stoicness to your meals. Just try not to think about the fact that it's made from the strained juices of fish, usually sardines, left to break down.

Marmite

Made from a yeast extract, which is usually a byproduct of beer brewing, Marmite has a consistency reminiscent of the La Brea tar pits and a salty, powerful flavor similar to... Well, it's hard to describe, but it's damn good. And polarizing; the British companies' slogan is "love it or hate it." Many seem to fall on the "love" side, however; when there was a shortage of the stuff in New Zealand last year the price skyrocketed to as much as 185 times MSRP. We're of the mind that anything made with beer, or at least because of beer brewing, can't be bad. While the Brits serve it on bread with butter or cheese, it also works great with sandwiches or very sparingly in omelets. You can, of course, also make a swanky cocktail with it. Just remember, due to the intense taste, moderation is the key to enjoyment.

Jerk Sauce

Liven-up your lunch, or any other meal, with this Jamaican staple. While you've definitely had it on chicken, fish, or pork, you don't have to be irie to enjoy the sweet, tangy and slightly spicy sauce on just about anything, from pasta to bread or as a dipping accouterment.

Wasabi

The Japanese horseradish, which isn't actually horseradish but one of the plant's relatives, is your everyday companion to sushi. With a spicy character that differentiates itself from peppers, punching you in the nasal passages rather than exploding on your tongue, wasabi has spawned a cult following not unlike that of Sriracha, with everything from dried peas to crackers to ice cream bearing its sinus-clearing zing. If you get the dehydrated kind that you concoct yourself, it's a handy and easy-to-use enhancement for anything and everything you want to stuff in your maw. Plus, it gives you carte blanche to drink sake on almost any situation. As if you needed one.

Balsamic Vinegar

Made, at least traditionally, from a reduction of white Trebbiano grapes and infused with just about anything under the sun, though usually fruits or spices, Balsamic is the ultimate Italian condiment. You can cook with it, dip things in it, spread on bread, dribble on sandwiches, or even make an Old Fashioned with it, and the best part? Well, besides the taste, that is? Health benefits, and lots of 'em. From helping to produce insulin, suppressing appetite to prevent overeating and aiding the absorption of minerals into your old bones to basically bursting at the seams with antioxidants and acting as an antiviral, this is one condiment that not only enhances your food, but your whole damn life, too.

Sriracha

Wait, what? Yep, just because Huy Fong, maker of the ubiquitous red cock-adorned squeeze bottle, may be SOL don't mean you have to be. You see, they're just a brand of sriracha, which is a type of hot sauce. Named for the coastal Thai city of Si Racha, the term really just refers to a paste of chili peppers, garlic, sugar, distilled vinegar and salt. Other brands exist, with the foodie fave and our recommendation being James Beard Award winning chef Andy Ricker's top choice, Shark Brand.

None

Okay, we have to say it. What if you just eat your food the way it was meant to be eaten? Oftentimes, a chef will put a lot of thought and consideration into every delectable aspect of their plate, which you then go ahead and bury under a taste-bud-numbing blob of brightly colored flavor enhancers. A palate is a delicate thing, and you're probably already muddying it with booze and that occasional snuck cigarette, so why not dial it back a bit and savor the flavor as it was meant to be enjoyed?