Wearing one in a Wetherspoon's in any provincial town up-North would just generate hundreds of sardonic "have you been to a wedding pal?" type questions, or perhaps "look at that twat in a bow-tie" or "why you wearing a bow-tie?"

Can you please fit a gps device to it so I can avoid our mutual hauntswhen yyou're out with it?
(if anyone can pull it off, you can, you dandy.)
Btw, don't wear it in london this weekend. It's a bit 2011. Glasgow on the other hand, will not know what's hit it (ie you're getting your cunt kicked in if you go East of Charing cross).