This girl I spoke to online told me she was celibate and waiting until marriage for sex, she was in a relationship with a guy for 3 years and then they broke up, two weeks later she has a new boyfriend and wants to lose her virginity.

So what bothers me is she tells me how much she values romance and celibacy but suddenly changes. She actually still held these views after the breakup. Can someone explain this? Preferably a woman.

>>19357669She broke up with him because he was too controlling. I said to her I admired her views on romance and sex and she said how it's the best compliment she ever received, which is confusing because it seems like she doesn't hold that view anymore.

>>19357681What, you've never changed your mind about something? Realistically, she probly got in the previous relationship when she was young, and the other person had a similar perspective so keeping hers the same was easy. Now they broke up, she's older, and she met someone who makes her vagina wet. It's not really a mystery

>>19357663This is easy to understand. She invested three years in a relationship that didn't work out all the while wanting sex but not getting it. She realized that under her current policy sex might be a rather long way off and thought, "fuck that."

>>19357752I'm not interested in her romantically, although she liked me at one point, so I'm not an orbiter.>>19357751Bare in mind they have only broken up for two weeks now. She also reiterated to me last week that she still had these principles as I mentioned she said 'it was the best compliment i've received'

>>19357750How old are you? If it is less than 22 do what you want: you are too young to realize this means bugger all because everyone is making it up as they go. You and she are mistaking vague feelings as deep commitments.

>>19357782I'm not even from the same country as her and I've never met her or interested in her lol. I don't like how she basically lied and pretended like she still held this view.>>19357788I'm 20. I know people change perspectives but the fact that she said only a week ago to me that she still held these views and said it was the best compliment she received when I mentioned her and now it's changed to getting dicked down soon seems to me that she's got bad character.

>>19357663I think it is essentially a standard these days to spout beliefs to impress without actually taking any personal stock in the words they recite. And then there is age. 3 years is time enough to change your perspective. I certainly wasn't the same 3 years ago. 18 and 21 don't really seem like a big difference when you take a glance, but when you really think about all the things you experience in such a time frame... It's not much of a surprise for someone to be having epiphanies.

But, considering she got into another relationship within a week of a ltr, I doubt it is as complicated as that. It's both sex's fault for the state of sexuality right now. We have two modes of mind crashing into one another. We have our sexually liberated (sex is to be shared/doesn't matter), and the conservative (sex defines your purity). Each side holds onto those beliefs which define them in some significant manner, so one way or another you have to be on one side or another. Aside from us smaller minority who fall somewhere in the middle. I also feel like a lot of girls tend to follow what they deem to be a more "rare" and thus more desirable quality. But as time passes they either mature, or find a new flavor that suits them.

Femanon, by the way. This is just my own thoughts, and a bit rambly at that... but I doubt there will be many who agree.

>>19357802My problem is that she said one thing, but acts the opposite. I mean, I said to her last week how I admire her views on romance and shit and she said how much she agrees with me and said it was the best compliment she ever received. Seems really dishonest to go from that to wanting to get dicked down in a couple of days. I'm gonna stop talking to her.>>19357803He was too controlling

>>19357793You haven't even met this chick and you care this much? Jesus fucking christ dude, you're pathetically thirsty. Who cares if some chick is gonna get stuffed? Sorry she can't be in your virgin waifu spankbank anymore, but you gotta move on

>>19357811It seems unfair on her ex that she wouldn't fuck him but wants to fuck a guy a few weeks later after they broke up. I mean they were in a relationship for 3 years and she even told me he tried to but she wouldn't let him because of her 'principles. also to add to that, she claimed to have this principles still but then tweets about wanting to get fucked.

Mate, you going to learn sooner rather than later that people will accept compliments whether they are true or not. I'd guess she changed her mind about this a while ago, or at least that she has been thinking about it.

>>19357822It's not a personal thing, it just a bit confusing and annoying how someone can say how principled they are but change in a matter of a week. >>19357836I agree.>>19357832Yeah, I had something similar happen. I dated this girl online for a while but I broke up with her and then two weeks later she loses her virginity despite claiming to be a christian celibate who wanted to marry me and lose it to me. I still feel a bit of anger from it

>>19357844You're just some weirdo on the internet bro. She could be lying to you about everything. If you're just dming some bitch on instagram cuz you're thirsty, she could just be shitting you about everything. Honestly I probly would if I were in her position

>>19357850Yeah, figured she was under 20. You can't really get overly offended. Kids are going to try all of the flavors before they really figure out what they like. An 18 year old is hardly old enough to have solid philosophical/moral beliefs. I doubt she was even thinking on that level. She was one "unfinished" adult and trust me, you will meet many more before you hit an age bracket where things start to become a bit more solid. Focus more on yourself. Better YOURSELF. Stop thinking about others.

>>19357852I'm very aware people are deceitful liars looking out for themselves. It is a source of confusion so you can't really insult someone for feeling this way. >>19357855That says something about your character. So YOU would be a deceitful liar if you were her? That's not right. She doesn't see me like that and specifically said she likes me more than her irl friends. I was in a relationship when I met her and she's the one who dm'd me.>>19357862Detach, block her and don't think about it again. Talk to a new girl and get a new experience, you'll feel better. don't go back>>19357863Didn't Alexander the Great start conquering the world at age 17? Not all teenagers are idiots. I certainly wasn't like that

>>19357870You can't compare an entirely different era to now. Things are different is an understatement. Do you really want to be marrying 12 year old girls and having them pregnant by 13? No. Not all teenagers are idiots. But they are still growing regardless and WILL change. If you don't change at all from the time you are a teenager until your mid-late 20's, you are doing something horribly wrong.

>>19357885I've always held the view that spirit should override bodily desires. I don't see myself changing. I understand why someone would change because people have a different mode of awareness which is subject to change - but it's wrong to do this in a timeframe of one week, feels deceitful.

>>19357922Religion and philosophy aren't the same, though. And again, I highly doubt she was really operating on a philosophical level to start. Why do you care so much anyway? So someone you thought you understood, you found you really didn't. It happens to the best of us. Drop it. Drop her if you have to. And move on. Long term, it doesn't matter. It's not like you were dating her anyway. So her sex life should really be of no concern to you. If it was somebody I knew, I'd scoff, and move on. Even easier if I wasn't planning on fucking the guy.

It seems like a big deal now to you, but you will realize later how little it actually matters. Most people aren't going to be operating on the same frequency as you. Accept it.

>>19357927Unfortunately a lot of people I thought I knew happened to become to strangers to me so I have a lot of hatred and trust issues for people as a whole. I accept it that people are different, but how can I know this when they're deceiving me?

>>19357930Eh, I used to be a bit more like you I guess. 3 years ago, in fact. Anger at society, anger with people I knew. I'm kind of a loner type anyway. On an intellectual level I prefer to talk to strangers than to people I am more familiar with. People take their views far too seriously. I guess I've learned to let go a lot. It's hard at first.. but at the same time so much easier to be passive. I get more out of people I know when I don't have expectations attached to them.

>>19357949What advice do you have? That I should feel less attachment and expectations of people and let it flow naturally? I know expectations not being fulfilled can be a source of pain but that pain will always be there, unless you're a completely numb, socially detatched person ofc

>>19357964There's a difference between being numb and being passive. I can't advise you to be more relaxed. That's not really how it works. You grow into it over time. But you are definitely far too involved in something that isn't really even your business. Is it disappointing? Sure. Should it be something to be obsessive over? No.

>>19357980Never said that. But it never hurts to look at your own principles. If you aren't willing to grow then you are far from being done maturing. I simply said you should stop obsessing over other people. That would imply you do just that. Stop obsessing. Cut them out of your life if you have to. Don't make a giant deal out of it. No one likes a drama queen. Handle it like an adult instead of whining. It's okay to not want to engage with another person anymore.