Hey.

Jul 9 A realisation

This photo shows me smiling, and it's not a false representation, I love coffee. However, it's been one of the only reasons I've been leaving my house for the past ten days and that's probably not a good thing. This is the first time in almost 7 years that I haven't had commitments occupying all of my time, work or study or both. I'm used to finishing up the semester and spending my three weeks in full time work, returning to the new semester more depleted than the last.

So, not having a job should feel like a blessing, because it is, it's such a privilege, but I can't help but feel lost. I don't know how to fill my days and I don't know how to occupy my mind. I've watched countless documentaries, purchased a myriad of books, but I can't seem to shake this feeling of purposelessness. I've been running most days to try and prevent the complete onset of depression, but it's becoming less effective.

What I'm beginning to realise is that I don't really know what I'm passionate about, what I enjoy spending my time doing, what makes me happy. So I've decided to spend one day a week, for the remaining 25 weeks of this year to document what makes me happy and what takes me further away from happiness. I hope this allows me to enjoy a richer life and help others do the same too.