Don's Acres

From 11,981 H.E. to 11,987 H.E., Don
lived alone in an apartment on the second floor of this lovely
grey barn. With characteristic wit, he named the apartment "Don's
Acres." Thomas came to
live at Don's Acres in 11,987 H.E.,
and the two stayed there until 11,990 H.E.

Their decision to leave Glen Burnie was hastened by the neighbors.
First, there were the Klingons downstairs: sixteen adults and
95 children, all committed to making as much noise as possible.
Since they slept in shifts, they were able to keep up this endeavor
24 hours a day (25 on Sundays). Second, there were the Little
Friends...six-legged ones, who arrived with the Klingons and decided
to colonize Don's Acres...despite heaping mounds of poison around
the perimeter. Third, there were the quaint and curious customs
of the...er...religious believers throughout the neighborhood.
One night during a spate of power failures, while a Gas &
Electric Company crew was hard at work on the poles, these True
Believers gathered in the parking lot and began chanting "We
want light! We want light!"

As soon as it was possible, Don and Thomas left Don's Acres
for Shipley Road. The apartment management
company tried to do Don out of his security deposit and charge
him an extra month's rent, claiming that he had violated the terms
of his lease. Fortunately, when the case came to court, the judge
read the applicable passage of the lease out loud to the illiterate
Neanderthals, then laughed in their faces and dismissed the case.
Only half a year later, Don got his security deposit back.

(Don later learned that he was tone of only half a dozen people
in the history of Glen Burnie to have ever received a security
deposit back from this company.)

Despite its drawbacks, Don's Acres was a fairly comfortable
place for a bachelor and two newlyweds to live.