Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Clean Up on Aisle 6

I overheard this last night while shopping in Target for a new bathroom rug.

The words were said so crisply and emphatically that even though I was lost in my thoughts (does a bathroom rug have to be a bathroom rug?) and minding my own business, it made itself my business and stopped me in my tracks. My sneakers actually squeaked to a stop on the cold tile floor and I never did get that new bathroom rug (or the six other things I would have probably thrown into my cart while I was there).

A mom (very tidy and put together looking) was wheeling her toddler through a space filled with "wants" - colorful things thoughtfully designed (most likely by others and then copied), hastily made and carefully arranged to make us want them.

The kid wasn't screaming or throwing a tantrum. I guess she had used a sentence with the words "I want ..." a few seconds earlier, but I only heard the mother. Her tone was firm, a bit sharp, a little tired. She caught my ear and then my eye. The child did not kick up a fuss. No drama ensued. She had heard it before.

For the rest of my shopping trip her words rolled around in my head.

I saw the mother as a child hearing the same words with the same tone from her mother. I saw a woman who was disappointed by life and probably attempting to prevent her daughter from being hopeful and disappointed. I saw a child being methodically disabled from her ability to go after what she wants and maybe even know what she wants.

And you're probably thinking, "Cat, get a grip." But I'm telling you it was depressing.

It brought me back to all the times I had been told or had been shown I couldn't have what I wanted.

And all I wanted was that damn rug .....

Even though we've been told by law of attraction snake oil salesmen (apologies to Oprah) that wanting something is exactly how we get it (or step 1 at least) - I have never really believed this.

I've always found it's when I stop wanting something, when I release my grip on the thought of having it, is when I attract it ... or when the allure of it floats out of my life, usually rather quickly.

The mom's words felt true to me (and excruciatingly hurtful) and so did the girl's shrinking heart.

Who wants to live in a world where everything you see is something you can't have?

I think people and situations come to us to play out in front of us the energy we are carrying. We can literally look at everything in our lives as manifesting the energies we carry.

We carry this energy through our beliefs. Changing our beliefs is at the root of changing how things are working in our life. This is how good stuff takes us to more good stuff and bad stuff can lead us quickly to everything falling apart. Most of us are pretty freaking ready to fall apart. We've done it before. Sometimes it's more comfortable than getting what we want.

Sometimes we are so used to not getting what we want, or sending out such mixed messages, we don't even know what we want anymore.

We have Mars in Virgo now so we will not miss the tiniest detail. We've got Mercury (Virgo's ruler) in Libra (retrograde) so he is less inclined toward focused attention and more inclined to noticing the point where things overlap, the place where we connect. Jupiter (expansion, luck ie positive beliefs) is enabling us to tap into our best possible self and write a new story. Jupiter has the very best of magnificent intentions and we've got taskmaster Saturn answering to him now! What's to stop us? This is the time to clean the slate and start over.

Maybe all those old stories about why things happened, about how we messed it up (too quick, too slow, too loud, too quiet, too smart, too dumb) were really just a disconnect between our best intentions and life just not quite caught up with what we wanted to create. What if us not believing it was possible really was the only thing making it im-possible? We are that little girl in the shopping cart and we are her mother.

Today I'm chewing on:

1. wanting and hoping are good and wonderful and necessary things and can absolutely be untethered of outcome 2. we're all a bit of a mess even when we look tidy and 3. an old bathroom rug can be flipped over and look exactly like a new bathroom rug (maybe we can, too). xo all

4 comments:

Is it bad to understand both sides? I have too much stuff. I don't want so much stuff. *edit lots of stuff*

There are lots of things that would bring me pleasure but, I will not be deprived if I do not get them. It is good to have goals. It is not good to have unnecessary stuff (excepting beads and books.) It is good to have things that bring you knowledge, comfort, escape, joy, smiles... I NEED all of those things. I WANT all of those things. It is good not to confuse the tangible things which act as a barrier to our goals with the tangible things which help us reach our goals.

I have too much stuff, too. Much too much. And YES probably the only thing I feel worth investing my money, time, energy in these days is knowledge (classes, books) and travel (how do I make this happen or maybe a better question is why do I think this can't happen) - no coincidence that Saturn has just moved into Sagittarius the ruler of these things. So maybe they become a little harder to come by, a little more valuable, a little more appreciated. But it is not lost on me that in order for my business to survive I need people to shop. To want things that are actual things. Someone just said to me today, "we are fed by constant change and can no longer bear anything that lasts" ... have been chewing on that, too - lots to chew on, luckily it's keeping my mouth out of the thin mints. Damn the Halloween candy :) Hopefully the stuff we want is bigger than stuff. You are always balanced with this stuff, it's nice to hear Kathy. xo

Definitely starting over... Lately I've been feeling like, "If I knew then, what I know now..." But the beauty of it, is that I can simply start over, knowing these things.

A favorite Maya Angelo quote, something along the lines of, doing the best you can until you know better, then do better.

Give away on my blog today, if you'd like to stop by. I'd love a few comments (it's like crickets over there, you know, that whole starting over thing...)

xoxo

and p.s. We don't have a proper linen cabinet in this little house, so we use kitchen towels and bathroom hand towels interchangeably... if we're having company I try to hang the proper ones in their proper places, but they are all just solid color hand towels anyways, what difference does it make?! ;)

yeah I love that Maya quote, too - I have learned over the last couple years to appreciate the small beginnings of things - I used to rush through the beginnings, now I kind of savor them ... I'm with you on the hand towels and my guest had to cancel anyway! xo

I am a mad scientist jewelry maker, dumpster diver and armchair astrologer embracing this magical journey with an open and grateful heart at the beautiful Jersey Shore - no, I can't hook you up with Bruce or Snooki ... Olive is usually free though.