The story so far:

Just as suddenly as they began, the attacks ceased. Maybe it was because some of the men and boys began pulling up their pants. Maybe the fad was finally over. Then again, the main reason was that all the activity and excitement was great for the Young Seniors, but it took its toll on most of them. Larry suffered a mild stroke and was confined to a wheelchair. Lisa developed full blown Altzheimers and had to be confined to a nursing home. A day or so after Christmas, George (in charge of transportation) suffered a heart attack and died. Anyway, the rest of the seniors decided that the whole affair was just too much trouble, although it was fun at first.

There were no more attacks until the spring. One young man was found hog-tied in the park. There were handkerchieves over his eyes and mouth. On his brown, smelly butt, in white spray paint, was the rating 0-Junk. There was also a note pinned to his pants that read, "We're taking a break. Pull up your pants, or we'll be back. You have been warned." It was signed Backside Rating Squad. The next morning, the young man's back end was front page news. There was a small column and pictures on the front page, but everyone saw it, especially 55 year old Emily. The article said the fellow was so high on cocaine, he hadn't realized what happened until the police told him, the next morning, while he was in custody. As soon as she saw the paper, Emily ran across the hall to the apartment of her sister, 60 year old Sherry. Emily was a short, heavy set woman with a sharp tongue and a temper as short as her silver afro. Sherry was the same way, with a heavy build. As the two women read the story with interest, the tv news caught their attention. "The victim refused to give his name or allow his face to be photographed as he waited for his mother to take him home" said the newsperson, "He was reported as saying that anyone interested 'could just kiss my famous brown butt!'"

"I'm not sure," giggled Emily, "but we did warn him to clean up his act. Maybe now he will."

"Okay, but, don't forget to sew that hole in your mask," cautioned Sherry, "We can't let the boy know that his aunts are members of the butt rating teams."

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, patients and nurses were gathered in the tv lounge at a nursing home. An aide was reading a small column in the newspaper, about the rated victim. "I'd like to kiss his butt for him," she said, " with my shoe!" Some of the nurses, and coherent patients agreed. Lisa (formerly of the Young Seniors Club) sat facing a window. For a brief moment, she remembered something.

She thought, "Emma would have been proud. And to think, no one will ever know that I was the first rater!"

One of the nurses saw Lisa smile. She pointed to her while telling a co-worker, "Poor old girl, doesn't know why she's smiling."