Holy cow, this was excellent. The balance between celebrating with friends who are genuinely happy to be getting married and fighting against the persistence of patriarchal institutions is a tricky one, but you sound like you're doing alright.

Also I changed my last name to my husband's this year and I don't think I'll ever get used to it, I'm not sure I would do it again.

I just went to look at their current historical dolls, and one of the new ones is from the War of 1812. If they'd had her when I was a kid maybe I would actually have some idea what the War of 1812 was about.

@yeah-elle hits it the nail on the head for me with "I understand wanting to stay away from books that include terrible things happening to children, though."

That's the only reason I chimed in: not to be down on the book or the people who like it but to let franceschances know that, for me, the book's literary value didn't trump the discomfort it made me feel, and to validate her decision not to read it.

I don't judge anyone who likes it, but I think it's perfectly valid to skip certain cultural works because you don't think you're going to like them. In this case I gave it a shot, because of the cultural importance and (undeniable) literary value, but just wound up confirming my suspicions that the subject matter would bother me a lot.