As self-proclaimed purists, the vast majority of horror fans find more enjoyment bashing genre remakes than encouraging their production. To be fair, a large majority of these contemporary reboots are terrible, soulless efforts, created for the sole purpose of financial gain. Sure, there are a few that pop up here and there that actually manage to exceed expectations, and even occaonally surpass the quality of the original; But let’s be real, those cases are few and far between (The Hills Have Eyes and The Thing are a few solid examples of fantastic remakes).

Rummaging through my obscene collection of films, I found myself asking no one in particular an interesting question: What horror movies should be remade? Honestly, what flicks could benefit from a fresh approach and advanced technology?

A few films popped into mind, without a hint of hetation…10. Near Dark: Make no mistake about it: you really can’t replace the amazing cast showcased in this 1987 cult clasc bloodsucker tale. That said, there are a few weak points in the script that could be tightened up, the finale could be delivered with finer precion, and we could be fortunate enough to be blessed with more focus on Severen (originally portrayed by Bill Paxton), who is clearly the film’s most memorable character.

http://youtu.be/m1HxiiDas28

09. Dressed to Kill: Brian De Palma’s creepy chiller is already a mind boggling film that boasts numerous sequences now condered clasc. You can’t improve upon this one too much, but a brisker pace could certainly be beneficial, and a reboot would introduce an eerie story to a younger market that (somehow) seems oblivious to its existence.

http://youtu.be/VxG57Uf7iMU

08. Demon Seed: Here’s a great example of a film that could benefit from the industry’s visual advancements. Dean Koontz’s tale of a power hungry computer program could be transformed into a masterpiece with a hint of subtle CGI, and some more complex practical effects.

http://youtu.be/TTBzwGhH2MY

07. Clownhouse: This one is deeply disturbing. The idea of escaped psychopaths disguised as clowns, stalking children is unnerving enough, factor in the twisted emphas on scantily clad children in the presence of convicted child molester Victor Salva and you’ve got a bona fide shocker. Due to the controversy surrounding Salva and the picture, Clownhouse has become a tough find. A new, less perverted director could breathe new life into this disturbing gem mply by eliminating all the tighty-whitey shots.

http://youtu.be/0EgKdU-316Y

06. Pumpkinhead: We all know that plenty of Pumpkinhead flicks have hit the market nce Stan Winston first introduced us to the titular character in 1988. But let’s all be honest: this story has yet to be served justice. The original has all the elements to make a phenomenal film, but poor acting, a few plot holes and some atmospheric issues hold the feature back. It’s time to see this one remade under the guidance of someone with the pedigree of say, Eli Roth, or Adam Green.

http://youtu.be/BKCPlJhNHbg

05. It: I shouldn’t need to deliver many reasons this one qualifies as a sound remake candidate: The original is so extremely dated and goofy it’s tough to watch. Given the terror within the pages of Stephen King’s novel, it’s a damn injustice. It’s time to do it properly!

http://youtu.be/RYW3NyAPuMI

04. Queen of the Damned: No need to waste space here: Scott Abbott and Michael Petroni absolutely massacred this screenplay. The entire film plays out like disjointed rock video rather than a complex vampire tale. It’s time to fix this flub.

http://youtu.be/VapVQ9IGcBU

03. Rawhead Rex: If you’ve ever read Clive Barker’s original short story, you understand just how badly George Pavlou slaughtered this tale. The atmosphere is all wrong, the effects are uninspired and there aren’t too many noteworthy performances from the little known cast. It’s a shame to be honest, as this one could make for a marvelous contemporary creature feature. We’ll likely never see this story approached by Hollywood again, and that’s flat out wrong. RR is extreme potential gone to miserable waste.

http://youtu.be/TSLX1IDR1d8

02. Season of the Witch: This film is damn near perfect. The atmosphere is incredible, capturing the essence of Halloween with seeming ease; the acting is terrific, as might be expected from genre favorites Tom Atkins (who, as usual makes a fine hero) and Dan O'Herlihy (who doesn’t miss a beat as the villainous Conal Cochran) and the story itself is abnormally ominous (Conal made killing kids cool when the idea was so taboo it generated social outcry). The one and only reason this film should be remade is to detach the word ‘Halloween’, and hope that a contemporary approach might finally lead to the credit this treasure has deserved nce conception.http://youtu.be/zKNIqG9J2KU

01. The Prowler: And we cap off our list with a mega slasher bust. You’ll see diehard fans swear by the quality of this one, but that’s such a deluonal opinion that it staggers me to speak on it. The picture is terrible. It’s predictable and so far beyond formulaic that even the term cliché seems inadequate. The Prowler is just dull on all fronts, and if not for some fair special effects from Tom Savini, not a ngle soul would acknowledge its existence. I’d love to see a capable scribe tackle this project; someone like Todd Farmer could drastically change the general perception of The Prowler. Better late than never, right?

http://youtu.be/l1yYijxuOX4

Matt_Molgaard
Monday 9/12/2011 at 07:14 PM | 82518

How about The People Under the Stairs?

syko2k2
Monday 9/12/2011 at 07:25 PM | 82523

Very nice list. I actually liked RawHead Rex (although Rawhead looked ridiculous), and I think it would be fun to see a remake of that. I completely agree with you on The Prowler and IT. IT scared me as a kid, but after I read the book, I felt the film was certainly weak. I don't think a remake is likely, and if there is one, it wouldn't do the film justice. A 3-hr. long movie didn't do the book justice, and I can't imagine a film being in the theater and being longer! The Prowler really did suck, and I just hope they either a) drop the attempted scares and go for cheesy slasher goodness or b) actually make the scares and suspense SCARY. Great list, overall. I would have added Project: Metalbeast, Demonic Toys, The Task, and Super Hybrid.

ObscureCinema101
Monday 9/12/2011 at 07:33 PM | 82524

The Prowler is a good choice. I'd also like to see The Burning.

Anonymous
Monday 9/12/2011 at 08:15 PM | 82527

I agree that Near Dark would benefit from an update, but I would be concerned that Paxton's performance as Severen would overshadow anyone else trying to take on the part. Sometimes a character is made so iconic that pasng it off to another actor just won't work.

Unfortunately, Clownhouse was also written by Salva, so any attempts at a remake could very well put more money into that creep's pockets.

I am 100% against an IT remake. The limitations of the original production were due to the medium (tv miniseries) and effects of the day, as well as translating an intangible concept onto film. The only great problem with the original production is the ending and, in truth, I don't know how they might have translated that to film. Look at the problems with King's Dreamcatcher; some things just don't work well on the screen.
Tim Curry is irreplaceable at Pennywise and the child actors and even adult stars were great. Even the score added the perfect mood to the film. Touching this again - which the CW has been threatening for a couple years now - would be a crime.

Queen of the Damned was awful, but would really require a two-part film adaptation beginning with the prior novel, The Vampire Lestat; a good deal of that storyline was mangled for the QotD film anyhow. It's a pity that Stuart Townsend wasn't around for the Interview flick in 94, as he was far better in the part than Tom Cruise.

I would personally love to see an update to The Gate. The original was cheesy as hell but it was a clever enough concept in its day; it would be interesting to see a modern take on the effects and storyline - clearly the playing of a record backwards bit would have to go!

dew
Monday 9/12/2011 at 09:55 PM | 82530

some good points dew, and thanks for the heads up on the vid

Matt_Molgaard
Tuesday 9/13/2011 at 12:36 AM | 82535

Can't wait for the child's play remake!

Voorhees13
Tuesday 9/13/2011 at 03:06 AM | 82549

Great call on IT (I do love the TV movie though, it holds a special place for me). I think The Stand is worthy of a remake as well. I loved the original up til the climax.

joshk1986
Tuesday 9/13/2011 at 11:41 AM | 82566

Great call on IT (I do love the TV movie though, it holds a special place for me). I think The Stand is worthy of a remake as well. I loved the original up til the climax.

The really dropped the ball on the end of Vegas in The Stand, didn't they?
Damn shame, nce the rest of it was so spot-on.

dew
Tuesday 9/13/2011 at 12:09 PM | 82568

Not really a big fan of remakes but... I'd like to see maybe some of Vincent Price's old clascs brought to the current generation (with a GOOD script, and GOOD actors). The Abominable Dr. Phibes and Dr Phibes Rises Again are 2 of my favorite clascs. They totally slaughtered the old clasc "House of Wax", so I guess a remake of clascs maybe wouldn't be such a good idea...I can only hope though.Instead of remakes, there are so many fantastic books yet to see transcription to film. Many of Clive Barker's stories in The Books of Blood 1-3 might make some interesting filming. "The Yattering and Jack" for instance. "The Midnight Meat Train" movie proved that even with a low budget, all you need is a good director and believable actors.

I think "Weave World" would make a truly interesting dark fantasy film experience (which would include a cameo by the lovely Cenobites).

What I'd really love to see is Brian Lumley's "Necroscope" series put to film. It'd be like a giant F-YOU to these fruity Twilight fans.

Show them what a REAL vampire is like. None of this charming, metro-sexual bullshit. The things in the Necroscope books were completely grotesquely fucking horrible lol.