The righteous man and the terrible ordeal

09 July 2014, 10:03

Yesterday we learned about Samson and Delilah. We now know that if you have a mullet, God lives in your hair. If you cut of your tresses God will desert you. I think this can be proven quite easily by observing how strong people with Mullets get after drinking some Brandy. Today I think we should talk about another fairytale.Once upon a long time ago.From Job 1 1.In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. 2 He had seven sons and three daughters, 3 and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East. 4 His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5 When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make arrangements for them to be purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, “Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular custom.From this excerpt we can get to know Job, He was blameless and upright, A holiy bloke that shunned Evil, Job thought hearts could speak and was convinced his kids were evil little sods, He made sacrifices to God to appease him for their sinning ways. God liked him because he pointed him out as a moral person worthy of God's grace. From these first few verses I recognise a few Christian types I know, You know the holier than thou types, judgemental as only the truely righteous can be.But people there's a twist in the tale, St Nick appeared and took God a bet that he could get Job to denounce God. God in his infinite wisdom accepted the bet and poor righteous Job was about to be sucker punched in a big way, He did not even see it coming. Merciful, Loving God agreed that Satan could use him as a lab rat. The neighbours came and scaled his oxen, his donkeys and his camels, The house all of his kids were partying in collapsed and killed the lot, The way I figure it the man retained 3 or 4 slaves that escaped the wrath of the evil one, God himself. Job accepted his lot, knowing it was Gods will, praising God for leaving him destitute and childless. Obviously this mind virus had taken him deeply, He failed to go through any of the stages of grief as the story is told, no anger, no sorrow, just acceptance. He probably didn't like the kids much after all.Job then gets afflicted with sores from the bottom of his feet to the tip of his head, still he does not deny God, His makkers come for a visit and some nice poetry get's written, still Job loves God. This is truely a righteous man. Let me ask you, If you received a message that your Beemer, your Merc and your boney had been stolen, Your house had collapsed and all your wee bairns had been killed, would you not be a little ticked off? Would you not want to grieve and then the floozy you married told you off for being absolutely unfeeling, would you not want to strike out? The most important question is though, Would a loving merciful God take a bet with his arch nemesis to prove that you would be true even if you got the snot kicked out of you? Would this righteous God gamble with your sanity? Is this God worthy of respect? Sound like a father I once knew that would steal the money from his kids piggy banks to go gambling. Job was not righteous, he was a stubborn fool infected with a mind virus that did not allow him to see what was important. His God was a being with absolutely no morals, A psychopath with no benevolence. Would you gamble with your childrens well being to prove that they love you? If so you are a very very sick puppy.

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