Upon leaving a hotel bar one evening, an executive noticed a drunk sitting
on the edge of a potted palm in the lobby, crying like a baby. Because he'd
had a couple himself that night, and was feeling rather sorry for his fellow
man, he asked the inebriated one what the trouble was.
"I did a terrible thing tonight," sniffled the drunk. "I sold my
wife to a guy for a bottle of Scotch."
"That is terrible," said the man, too much under the weather to
muster any real indignation. "And now that she's gone, you wish you had her
back."
"Thas right," said the drunk, still sniffling.
"You're sorry you sold her, because you realize too late that you
love her," sympathized the executive.
"No, no," said the drunk. "I wish I had her back because I'm
thirsty again."

There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game).
This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.