Q: A woman in my work carpool keeps boasting about her kids, her husband, even her salary. It makes everyone uncomfortable. Should I put up with it or say something before she gets into trouble?

A: If it’s constant, speak to her privately. In a caring way, say, “You’ve got a lot to be proud of, but talking about the good things in your life so much makes others uneasy, and discussing your salary openly could lead to problems at the office.” acquaintance

3 Comments

I usually wait for them to FINALLY stop, and then say something like, “Yes. I remember you mentioning that”. If they persist I’ll add, “Well I’m glad things seem to be looking up for you now. You certainly deserve SOMETHING positive in your life” and change the subject.

If you think about it, you very rarely hear truly successful people boasting about their successes. Most of those who constantly brag about things in their lives usually do so because they are seeking the approval of others and reassurance that they are doing well. These people sometimes even embellish upon the truth because they envision others will have a higher view of them or envy them. Obviously, we all know this technique more often backfires on the braggart and others soon grow tire of the ME ME MEing.

Instead of becoming defensive, see this woman as a person in need and maybe try “How wonderful for you Mary what a great accomplishment for your son. You must be very proud.” then simply change the subject or ask another rider about their children. This will accomplish two things, give her the approval she so desparately was seeking, and let her know that the group is done hearing from her for the time being.