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The Key To Effective Communicating

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In high school I was the quiet type. I envied the guys with the ‘silver tongue’ method of communicating; it seemed that they got all the women. Now I had my share of girlfriends don’t get me wrong, but compared to these guys I was a ranked amatuer. Most of the girls I dated was because they liked me first, then I’d learn to like them in return. It seemed that I was doomed to the left overs of these egotistical word smiths.

Until one day…I moved to a new city. I could create a new identity and become the personality I admired from a diistance. The city was overrun with beautiful single professional women. A friend told me that all I needed to get a woman here was a nice haircut…Ha. I was like a kid in a candy store…every size, shape or shade was there for the taking. I didn’t know where to begin. It didn’t matter, because in this city, the women were the agressors. I thought it was a fluke that nice looking women wanted to talk to me badly enough to innitiate conversation. Once it happened five more times…I was convenced that I’d died and gone to heaven. I never considered my self some god of good looks (and still don’t) but there were so many women that I was getting dates by default..lol. Subsequently my plan to become this A type personality was thwarted. Women actually liked that I was not like all the other guys that approached them…I was ‘different’ they’d say. I had no idea that this world existed but I liked it to say the least.

At the end of the day I learned that you don’t have to be someone else to be successful in life…you only need to put yourself where your personality would be most effective.

I recall a song that was always sang in the church my family attended when I was a little boy. The song was called “Jesus Will Work It Out”. Whenever someone would sing that song, the church would go nuts. As the singer continued onto the chorus, “Even got a light bill due, even got a gas bill too, I turned it over to the lord and he worked it out…”

Now, as with earlier posts, my goal is to get us to become more responsible for ourselves and our own actions. It seems that our reactive mind-sets have allowed for sub-par performances in our lives far too long. Too many of us depend on God for the wrong things. God didn’t cause you to lose your temper at work and curse your boss and get fired. Now you want him to help you pay your light bill…And your gas bill too?

We go to God for aches and pains, this and that when he already gave you the power to fix these things yourself! Yes, even your temper. However, we’ve been conditioned to sit back and allow things to be given to us, paid for us and so on. Imagine if you were giving to yourself as much as you expect others to give to you.

Now why should we leave God alone with all of this non-sense? Because when you actually get the concept of what God is, you’ll see how much of an untapped resource you’ve been sitting on. You see, God as I know it to be, cannot even be classified as a him. That’s a human personification of something that we don’t understand. There are other dimensions of life right here on earth that we could explore if we weren’t focused on going to the club tonight. Then you’re praying to God again because you went home drunk with someone and you don’t remember what happened! And the cycle continues.

I hear all the time now from anyone I discuss this matter with, “well I’m not religious, I’m spiritual”. I just continue the conversation because I know what they mean but I don’t know if they know a lot of the time what they mean. For example, one definition of religious is: a member of an order or congregation living by such a rule. Now most of these individuals are devout church members and do all that they can to live by the ‘rule’ of their ‘religion’. So, how are they not religious? The next thing I’d ask would be, “What’s the difference between right or wrong and good or bad? Why is it that I can do good all of my life and still go to hell and someone else can do bad their entire life and go to heaven(as long as they repent)? How does spirituality help answer this question?” This normally changes the direction of the conversation. Anger typically follows and an argument ensues.

Now let’s go back for a second to ‘suggestibility’. What we believe in has been suggested to us from birth. Even if you’ve gone the opposite direction than you were taught, you’re going that way to spite what was suggested to you. Which brings us to our belief systems. I dare you to speak on a topic that is contrary to someone’s belief system about anything and discover the voracity in which the person defends it. This again is the power of suggestibility. “This is what I believe, and no one can tell me differently!”

Well I am here to tell you differently. We are capable of so much more than we even realize. We’ve been mentally institutionalize to believe that this is all that Life has to offer. We live, we die, we go to heaven or hell and live eternity there. Well I’ll be honest, I don’t know what happens after we die, I haven’t spoken to anyone who died and came back to tell me what happens either. What I do know is what’s going on right now while I’m alive and what I can do about it. If we weren’t meant to be in control of our own lives then why on earth are we here?

Talk to any writer and they’ll tell you of the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that comes when staring at a blank page. Be it stagnation from a temporary block or not being able to get it all out fast enough, the experience can be quite daunting.

Take a look at a sheet of paper. Notice how the lines create a boxing-in effect, the page itself is a box. This box represents our lives and the lines are the days of our lives. The top of the page indicates the beginning of our lives where nothing is written but our names. We learn to respond to being called by this label. As we go down the page it would start to be filled with what we were told that life is all about. The middle part of the page would represent us beginning to understand what we’ve been told and the process of acting accordingly. The bottom of the page would represent how we began to live our lives according to what we’ve learned and now understand.

Today I’d like to propose something to you that would change your life as you now know it… turn the page over! That’s right. Turn over the page and this time you get to name yourself! This time you get to write your own path. Who do you want to be? Where would you like to go? You are now in control, all you have to do is write it down and act on it! Once you’ve filled that page…go to the next one and keep writing until the book of your life is done. I promise, it really is that simple.

So, let there be a great sound in the air from the sound of pens scratching the paper and boots hitting the ground… let’s go!

My heartfelt condolences to anyone who has ever been affected by the irresponsible acts of a drunken driver. As you’ll see later, all of us have been or have been affected by these careless acts of destruction. This post looks to address the of the influence of ‘spirits’ or feelings on our everyday lives.

Here’s one definition of the word drunk – overcome or dominated by a strong feeling or emotion. Hmm… anyone not fall into this category? It seems that we all struggle daily with our feelings and emotions and the decisions that we make based on them. If you think about it, where you are in life now is based on the decisions that were made according to how you felt at the time. The funny thing is that we continue to do this even if not being totally satisfied with our previous results.

It’s hard to conceive the idea that we live in the past, present and the future at the same time. This is due to our perception of time. For example, by the time you can say the word present, it’s already in the past. The thought of saying the word is projected into the future ; the process of saying it is your present. Now why is this important? Because when you understand this concept, you will then be able to ‘control’ your future by simply extending the mental present into the physical future. In other words you’ll become proactive in your life as opposed to reactive to your feelings and emotions.

Networks are making a fortune capitalizing off of these ‘drunk drivers’ under the guise of ‘Reality TV’ and they are none the wiser. All they know is that trick better stop talking smack before she gets smacked! I can see in real time the effects this behavior has on our communities; just read some of the posts on FB…smh

Your body is your vehicle and you know by now that your emotions are the alcohol. Please take control of your car and manage your alcohol intake on all levels!