Toon In: Your February Horoscopes

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Capricorn: There’s a saying, “no one knows you better than yourself”, and I couldn’t disagree with that more. Last May, for example, I had a few instances where I ended up going to a hospital for help. It was confusing, heartbreaking, scary as hell, and a few of my best friends were there for me. Not just there for me physically, but communicating with each other about me unbeknownst to me. Every time I talked to either of the four said friends, they all had very similar ideas about what was going on. I fought against them to no end. Yet, these are my best friends. How could they all be wrong? One, in particular, a Capricorn who goes by his last name, Beaver, gave it to me so hard once. We were nearly (or definitely) shouting at each other on the phone one night. In the end, he said something along the lines of how he needed a break from me. He needed time to breath. My first reaction was to cry uncontrollably, until within in seconds of him hanging up, I realized … he was right. Another of these besties is also a Capricorn (spoken of in these horoscopes often, Jesse). I’ve had some really impactful Capricorns, and they’ve (all but one) been incredibly caring and entirely helpful to me. As you’re coming into your new year, your new you, I suggest you take this all in. You’re very intuitive and the rest of us rely on you for that!

Aquarius: There is a really cool blue van that parks around my house. I really, really like it. I’ve got a things for cool vans, and I always wanted one, but have had only the luck of a few minivans. This blue van is so neat! I once saw it driving around, operated by a man with a moustache (I think). Who knows who he is or what he is, but boy does he drive a cool van. I bet he knows everybody loves that blue van. The blue van man is quite lucky. So, one day, I decided to pay homage to the van. I painted a picture of the van (seen in my painting of this month’s edition of “Toon In”), then left my painting on the windshield of the blue van. Sometimes, it’s nice to do things for vans. I treated my last one like crap, and then it got totaled in a pretty gnarly car accident. So, I am going to be good to this van. Aside from the picture, I touch it when I walk by it. I think about it. I even had a dream about it once. The blue van dream! Aquarius, this is our time. We are flourishing in our new year right now. Don’t forget to be yourself, and always do the things you feel. Cherish that and move onward with your little Aquarian given idiosyncrasies, and don’t let nobody stop you!

Pisces: Sometimes when you’re feeling sad, you have to go back to a time where you felt even worse to feel better. “I’m never drinking again” said between trips to vomit. “These are the worst cramps I’ve ever had,” same sentiment as last month, and the one before, and the one before… What is the worst time, really? Can’t these times be comparable in their ways? I recently was shaken up pretty badly by the news of two separate friends on opposite sides of the country passing tragically and suddenly. I can pretty much guarantee that was the worst I ever felt. Or can I? I wanted to feel better though. So I reached out to a few friends who’ve always been there, and who know how to make me feel better, and when they reached back out to me, albeit through text messages, I felt the love so much. Maybe you are supposed to go back to a place that felt the best when you’re down. Maybe you’re supposed to draw in the best feeling you can. Wallow in happiness from now on. What if?

Aries: I first met the late, great, artist Justin Betts on a date. We found each other online, and so we hadn’t yet met. I let him know I’d be wearing my long, white fur coat. He joked about it being faux fur, since I don’t eat meat. It’s a real fur coat. I arrived and didn’t see anyone who looked like his picture, so I leaned against the end of the bar and sort of kept lookout. Suddenly, I felt much more relaxed, as if I had never felt tense at all. There was a hand on my back, and when I turned to see who it was, there was this tall skater dude with a HUGE smile standing there. “Sharon.” he said. “Justin.” I said, as I smiled back. He’d already been seated. I took off my ridiculous coat and was wearing a full velvet suit underneath with a frilly shirt. He laughed, but he dug it big time. Then he told me what had happened just before I’d arrived. He was seated and our waitress came over to greet him. He stood up and tried to hug the waitress thinking she was me. “I’m not your date, dude” she said, clearly not in a long white fur coat or looking anything like my photos. Justin was recently hit by a car on his motorcycle and passed away. His last trip to Philly ended about a week prior. When I hung out with him, I had just been in a car accident and my ribs were bruised pretty badly. Hanging out with Justin became painful, because he made me laugh so hard and so often, I was hunched over in rib pain for hours. I don’t know what Justin’s sign was. I’d text him, but I’ve been constantly reminded that I can’t text him. Ever again. This dude should have lived longer. This has destroyed my belief in fate. Aries, take this story as a lesson to live every day to your best. It’s so cruel out there, anything can be wiped from you at any second.

Taurus: Sir Kermit The Frog was created on May 9, 1955. The smartest and most beautiful song he ever sang was “The Rainbow Connection”, from the film released May 31st 1979, “The Muppet Movie”. At a mere 24 years old, Kermie was nailing it with beauty and advice. I, as an Aquarian, am prone to falling in love. I love a certain Taurus in a certain way that isn’t like other loves I love. Much like Kermit, he is romantic and smart and cute as hell. He speaks in little poems and exudes the lyric, “Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection / The lovers, the dreamers and me”. He finds ways to weed out the bad and water the good with his own little sun shining to help them grow. I am one who grows in that sun. Taurus, you can find your inner sun without traveling to the depths of our Earth, where submarines transport aliens through their tunnels and Utopia is pure. Your own little body has it within you, and if you’re good enough, you’ll be rewarded with your own Miss Piggy.

Gemini: I think I was 12 when I met her. Maybe 11. She wore yellow Chuck Taylors. Sometimes we would hold hands walking to school. One of her hands in mine and the other holding a dead squirrel that she carried around, whom she named Lou C Fur. Her name is Deane. She was great. A real and really weird inspiration. We made it through those middle school years somehow. We dipped our hands in any drug offered to us. We made it through high school the same way. Somehow I ended up on the Honor’s List and a runner up for class president my senior year, most likely tripping or high on something the very day before. Deane was the same. Her family, unlike mine, was broken up. Deane put herself through college, she moved herself halfway across the country, she is now a mother of a beautiful son. All on her own. Recently, Deane and I connected, yet again, due to the horrid death of a childhood friend. I wish she were here, but she isn’t. Instead, she’s written me every day since we heard the news. I felt it necessary to factor this in to let you Geminis know I was struggling hard to find a connection with you this time around, until she reminded me her sign is yours. I admire her so much, I hope you can too. Sometimes taking the beaten path is the road to the right destination, Gemini. Don’t you forget it.

Cancer: Before Title Magazine took me on, I used to write an Astrology column for a local newspaper called The Spirit Of The Riverwards, which has since went under. I once wrote a horoscope for Cancer where I proposed the question, “Do you always think about having cancer since you are one?” It wasn’t taken lightly by the Cancers, but Jane loved it. Jane is this old lady who took the time to write me a handwritten fan letter. Jane took the time to not only write the letter but to hand deliver it to the office of The Spirit. Jane wrote about her love for not only her sign, but for all the signs. She read my horoscopes as they’re meant to be read – as an article. She liked the way I spoke of myself to relate to everyone. Cancer, don’t get your panties in a bunch over what people say about you, keep your shirt on and embrace it. You get to be who you want. And Cancers are actually one of my favorite signs. Next to Scorpios, maybe even 2nd favorite. Super inspirational. I don’t fear you, Cancer; why should you fear cancer?

Leo: Sometimes it feels like things are coming together, and then just before you reach the peek feeling of accomplishment, something fails you. When this happens, we can tend to see everything as a failure. Feeling defeated is all too common among us earthlings. Here’s a challenge I give to you, Leo. It’s not as if everything goes to shit just because of a bump in the road. Rather, when and if you find that bump, just take a little caution. Go over it slow and steady, and then think to yourself, “that wasn’t so bad,” and keep going. It’s easier to have the feeling of everything falling apart, but it’s your time to let it all come together. Make your own little masterpiece one step at a time. Leo, as my sister sign, and as the moon is with you in Aquarius this year, please also remember you’re doing this so our whole solar system can follow suit.

Virgo: I recently had a dream that someone wouldn’t eat peanut butter and jelly, because they didn’t believe it digested quickly enough. It’s like that black pepper ball in Elvis’s dead belly rumour, or the theory that chewing gum stays in your stomach forever. When I was a kid, my friend and I called these sorts of pieces of knowledge “every dude facts”. Another popular “every dude” fact would be the idea of cockroaches surviving a nuclear war. There are so many people that have one of these little ditties that they will pull out all the time, any chance they get. I like the idea of wearing black when you’re mourning, as if it will help and somehow not remind you of your loss, or just keep you really sad. I am going to dye my hair black today, as I am mourning the loss of my optimistic self. I used to fly by the seat of my pants with pure joy and hope; now I am jaded. Still a dreamer, at least, I can imagine what it would be like if my life were happier. Alas, I woke up again today wondering what I will contribute to this world and what I will gain from it. I imagined a few lovely things before I made eye contact with reality and had no choice but to acknowledge its existence. Virgo, you’re an idealist at heart, and that can’t be easy either. We meet somewhere in the magic of the astral plane, and we open our hearts to each other and gain a little from each other. I need to be grounded and you need to be freed.

Libra: I recently had a talk with my Mum about judging people. We were talking about failed New Year’s resolutions, and how it’s best to just always try to be a better person. Always see yourself as your own temple – something I easily fail at doing. I tend to make everyone else better, and in turn, it makes me feel good to be surrounded by all these great people. It seems easier for most people to instead see themselves as the Holy Grail and everyone else as unworthy of drinking from their cup. In doing so, they can fail to see the joy of helping others. Libra should be the nurturer. Libra should be coddling us all on this interplanetary craft through the space we have no business pretending knowing anything about. Beyond Mother Nature is Mother Earth. Beyond Mother Earth is might be back to the womb, but none of us know otherwise. I suggest you take into practice the idea behind, “don’t act like your shit don’t stink.” If you’re breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth and repeating the process, you will most likely be eating shit. Let your own stupidity allow you to eat shit, and go trip over your own foot. For the rest of the time, keep your blinders on and your heart open.

Scorpio: Alexi von Jawlensky created one of my favorite paintings, “Schokko” in I first saw it in “The Art Book” in 2003. In 2004, my Scorpio then-boyfriend recreated this painting for me, and his version became my favorite painting. I’m not much a fan of The Rolling Stones, and I certainly never liked their song, “Satisfaction” until I heard the Devo version, and the Devo version became one of my favorite songs. Is it so wrong to let the better version win, sometimes? Even if it isn’t the original version? Are you ever inspired by something or someone so much, that you want to take on a new personality trait, but you don’t want to be a copycat, so you won’t allow it? Well, it’s time for a change, my friend. If someone uses a saying that you like a lot. If someone uses a silly voice or you like the way they walk, go ahead and try it out for yourself. See how it feels. See if you can become the proud new owner of your favorite phrase. You don’t need to make it all alone, sometimes you need a little bit of inspiration, and there is no harm in that.

Sagittarius: The saying, “I don’t get mad, I get glad” has newly found its place in my own little heart. I do get mad. Man, I get so mad. I then fight that anger profusely until I feel like I’ve become glad. However, sometimes this comes in the vein of hurting myself to feel the wonders of the “glad.” For example, it might come in the form of slight weight gain. And then I throw out all the food I own in one fell swoop, and I starve until I’m weightless. That sort of thriving is considered a win to me. It isn’t ok. However, if I am going to be a trash bag of a human, I’d rather be glad than hefty. So, here’s the new place I found for the aforementioned phrase: When I get mad, I can find the goodness in it. For example, if someone hurts me, I don’t need to feel mad. I can feel sad for a minute, but then feel glad at the realization that I don’t need them. I learned this trick last summer, as I was letting go of someone very close to me, who has hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt before. Now, I can’t take it anymore. I expect more from people who want to be around me. I expect the love to be reciprocated, and when it isn’t, I’m glad to let go to avoid the madness.

Sharon Isabel Curley is a passionate creator of all things. As an artist, she enjoys painting, drawing, sewing, creating and styling costumes, and writing (fiction, non-fiction, astrology, and poetry). She wrote and believes that “kinship is the only ship to sail into affinity.” If you ever meet her, she will love you.