Nothing drives like a Toyota and sometimes nothing stops a Toyota

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I figure the only way Toyota gets out of this public relations mess is to offer to everyone who comes into the dealership A FREE TOYOTA! Still, even then I think they still need to sweeten the pot like offering a cruise or something else. Right now Toyota is offering Zero percent financing for most of their models. Wow newsflash Japan, your cars don’t stop till they run out of gas or hit something very hard, Zero percent financing is not the answer. Get with the program or you’ll only be making lawnmowers. Comprende?

Will you or would you ever drive another Toyota? Let’s go to people for this answer:

Personally I think Toyota is getting a bad rep, the cars don’t explode at random or anything. Remember the Ford Pinto, now that car would. Bump it just right in the rear bumper and you set off a fourth of July type explosion. After which Jack Bauer would come running through the ring of fire wielding a firearm yelling at you to get down.. As far as a true American Bomb lets revisit the AMC Pacer, just God awful.

AMC Pacer: A true Moving Violation

Don’t forget to turn out the lights the party’s over treehuggers!

Tonight at 8:30-9:30pm local time you are supposed to turn off all of your power in observance of Earth Hour. Yeah right, in the middle of the Kentucky and West Virginia March Madness Basketball game? Both are vying for a spot in the Final Four, duh Earth.. I will honor Mother Earth with my own 7-8 hour tribute from roughly Midnight till 7am or 8am pending on when the 2 rowdy kids wake up. So, all you activists who point fingers with your snobby biodegradable green T-shirts and driving your shitty hybrid’s and honor Earth for just a measly hour, remember I’m 6 to 7 hours better than you, tree huggers. This “Earth Hour” thing dates back to early 2007 so it’s only been around 3 years, memo to Earth Hour, alert me when you’re 10, then we will sit down and talk about your deal. Also, “Earth Hour” if you really want this thing to grow legs, how about not scheduling it during one of the NCAA Tournament games.

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6 comments on “How long do I have to wait for the next Toyotathon?”

Hi, Rich. I dropped by because you requested feedback in the Showcase forum, and I’m a critic-at-large.

I think your ideas are funny, and your sense of comic timing is good, however you need to make sure you check small terms and the source of the jokes. Toyota can’t have a bad “wrap” unless you are gift-wrapping one poorly. Your available alternatives are either “rap” (urban colloquial) or “rep” (short for reputation). The car that exploded in rear-end collisions was the Pinto, not the Pacer. Pacers were awfully ugly, however. You can probably do something comedic with that.

Overall, you have a nice, light touch. Your article was fun to read. Good luck to you.