Cheney Hates Obama

2009-05-11

Former Vice President Dick Cheney has been asserting that current President Obama is endangering America. Dick seems quite excited about all this. (You can read an article from ABC News here.)

The argument from Dick says that closing the Guantanamo Bay is bad because the bad guys locked up there are now free to do bad things. Where will these detainees go? Won't they rejoin their terrorist buddies and fight America again?

This shows a clear lack of understanding of the new strategies in which the U.S. no longer waves a big stick. No, our new strategies wear a slick and friendly suit and smile. Pay no attention to the poison dagger up our sleeve.

See, closing Gitmo makes the U.S. look friendly and rational. It looks like we are nice. Our allies are, as a result, more likely to support us publicly. The people who would have sympathized with terrorists and possibly joined them will have to step back and say, "Hey, maybe those Americans ain't so bad after all."

They also don't understand that it is ok if the detainees go back to their compatriots; in fact it is a desired effect. Rather than doing a very public water boarding sort of thing, we have now inserted radio tracking beacons as rectal implants. Instead of complaining about torture at the hands of infidels, they think the pain in the backside is the result of their amorous cell mates. Now, we release them to return to the bad guys and we track them the whole way.

Finally, we aren't just sending straight back to Afghanistan. Nope, each of the detainees gets to spend a week in a luxury sneeze-a-torium in beautiful Mexico City. Then, when they return to their compatriots, they get to take a long a little souvenir. In fact, it's such a little souvenir you might even say it's microscopic.

The thing Cheney and his boys probably fear is that they will somehow be prosecuted for their earlier actions. One can only assume that when it comes to sodomy, Cheney probably doesn't want to be the receiving end. To make matters worse for them, people may not remember the Bush administration fondly. Then, when their dreams turn fitful, they a see a world where peace breaks out.