Guido Fawkes: Plots, rumours and conspiracy

Guido Fawkes: Plots, rumours and conspiracy

LABOUR'S leader Ed Miliband has called for more "patriotism" in manufacturing policy to boost British industry. There is a lot to be said for his suggestion that we buy British to get the economy moving.

Guess he will be selling his German-made Ford Focus to set an example? LEAVING the Treasury after Labour's General Election defeat, the Birmingham MP Liam Byrne famously left a note for his successor which simply read: "Dear Chief Secretary, I'm afraid to tell you there's no money left." After the uproar this joke caused, Byrne, right, kept his bald head down as a backroom figure for Ed Miliband. Dubbed "Baldamort" by David Cameron, he wants to escape what could be a long opposition. We hear Byrne is being encouraged by the likes of Alan Johnson to seek Labour's nomination as the candidate for Mayor of Birmingham. Labour sources seem almost certain he will throw his hat in the Bull-ring. With Brum having a budget of £3.5billion, though, that note might yet come back to haunt him.

FADING Lib Dem favourite Vince Cable is turning into a sour old Business Secretary. Stuck uncomfortably in a coalition, his days spent waltzing on Strictly Come Dancing must seem like a lifetime ago. This has not stopped government grandeur going to his head though... apparently he insists on his own private elevator in his Ministry. If only we could all have a little lift when we feel as down as Vince.

PLEADING guilty to four drunken assault charges on Friday, Labour MP Eric Joyce got off lightly without a custodial sentence in spite of the fact this wasn't the first time Eric found himself pleading guilty to assault. In 1977 Joyce, then a young judo champ at Perth High School, was convicted of assaulting a teacher in the classroom. Once a hothead always a hothead.

NOW kicked out of the Labour Party, Joyce will remain an independent MP in Parliament until the next election. The coalition Government promised to bring in a system of "Recall", where misbehaving MPs can be recalled if enough voters demand it, triggering a by-election. The system works well in America, it was how Arnie terminated a bad Governor in California. Deputy Prime Minster Nick Clegg has overseen the watering-down of the Westminster version, so much so that Joyce will be able to cling on to the expenses gravy train for another three years regardless. Given Clegg's own unpopularity with the students who make up a large part of his Sheffield seat, it isn't hard to spot why he might be fudging this particular promise...

THE attempt by "Red Ken" Livingstone to return as the Labour Mayor of London has hit some trouble over his taxes. Ken wanted politicians barred from standing if they did not pay their full share of tax but he's gone very quiet after it was revealed he was legally avoiding tax using a corporate tax loophole. Not only is he having tax problems but taxi trouble too. London cabbies loathe Ken for making their livelihood so difficult and they are getting their revenge: when they see Ken flagging down a black cab on the campaign, many slow down, turn in to the kerb, wind down the window...only to give Ken a one-fingered salute and accelerate off.

DAVID Cameron claims to be a big fan of The Smiths, the 80s band fronted by Morrissey. Collecting an NME Music Re-Release of the Year Award during the week, they were asked if they would reform. Guitarist Johnny Marr, left, quipped: "If this Government stepped down, I'll reform the band. How's that? That's a fair trade, isn't it?" The Prime Minister, Charming Man that he is, won't be obliging. He doesn't like them that much.