Woman Attacked After Attempting To Take Selfie With A Bison

God, I hate people. A 43-year-old woman was innocently perusing around Yellowstone National Park with her daughter when the pair decided to snap a selfie with a bison, because if there’s one thing that large, wild animals love, it’s when people get too close and invade their personal space.

As you can imagine, and bison was not pleased. He was basically like, “Not cool, bruh,” and promptly attacked the two. The duo started to run away when they heard footsteps moving towards them, but the animal caught the mother and lifted her, tossing her with its head. The woman received minor injuries, which is great, because now I can make fun of her without feeling bad about it.

I’m just gonna say it: selfies have gone way too far. This is apparently the third park visitor to be attacked during an attempted selfie this season alone. I think this bison totally had the right idea. We should all just start attacking people who try to take pictures when we’re grumpy or looking like total shit. Next time my friend leans in and tells me to smile, I’m just gonna body slam the crap out of that bitch. And I better not get any shit for it, because the bison got of scot free.

Park authorities are making a more vigorous effort to warn people to maintain a safe distance from the animals. Apparently the very blunt “DO NOT APPROACH WILDLIFE” signs just aren’t clear enough anymore..

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Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

But that doesn’t matter. People forget that these animals are WILD and when you’re in a place like Yellowstone, that’s their home, not ours. If an animal feels threatened in any way it’s going to do something about it. I really wish people would have enough sense to just let them be and admire them from afar instead of trying to take a stupid selfie just to post online.

I’m not saying she wasn’t in the wrong, because it was really stupid for her to do. (Selfies in general are dumb, and especially with a wild animal). I’m simply saying that the article makes it sound like she got right up with it to take the selfie, which she didn’t.