Monday, June 29, 2009

The first one was on the second day. All day river-run down the Colorado river, it was a blast. Dane kept pulling me into the water, and I got mad, which I should'nt have, but then when Bro. Wall suddenly disappeared in mid-sentence, that's when things got wet. Everyone was pulling someone else in--except Travis and I.

Dane was shoved in a lot, and then Bro. Wall got revenge on Dane by way of bucket-of-water.

Second favorite memory was the very first repell. After that first repel, it was natural for me. The only time I ever got scared was the third and final repel for the third day. The 170 foot cliff was exciting, but before we had even started going down, our guide, Jeff, would tell us to go back several feet and look down when he said so. Austin did it, and the look on his face when he looked down made everyone laugh. Until they looked down, that is.

Third favorite memory was on the fourth day, when we were repelling and we had to walk through some pot-holes. After Dane got out of one, he was standing in Jeff's way when Jeff had to point. So Jeff just shoves Dane off and into the water. And then he shoves Dane of again... and again... and AGAIN, and then Mac tried to get Jeff from behind, but Jeff almost threw Mac in, giving Dane enough time to get onto the shelf.

"Sorry Dane, but you kept getting in the way." Jeff smiled and Dane just shook his head.

Last favorite memory was on the fourth day also, when we repelled off an Arch. Zack and I were doing it together, and looking down the sheer edge of that arch is making my hands sweat as I'm typing. I went down below the arch and couldn't see Zach. He was farther up, but then we repelled down. The view was amazing. The edges of the cliff on my side was all mossy, and then it was all open space.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

That was the most fun I've ever had away from home. It was a blast, and I learned a whole ton about myself and what it takes to keep going.

When you feel like you can't go on at all anymore, when you feel like you're going to collapse and fall and lay there, I can say this: keep going. Focus on moving your feet one at a time, and do not let yourself fall. Focus on an objective.

"Just to that tree... now to that rock..."

Do not give up. I was so close to being done with a trail, and I was one of the one's in the lead, and I tripped on a rock. I was so tired, I didn't want to get up. But I did. I got up and rounded the bend and saw the end of the trail. Without that rock there, I would have seen the end and probably would have run the rest of the way. But the rock was there, and I didn't see. If I had given up, then they would have found me sitting on a rock, only about 4 feet away from a cliff face that lead to a river at the bottom.

I got up. I finished it. And when you feel like giving up, press harder; because usually the end is closer than you would think.

Okay, so I'm officially not scared of heights. After facing a 165 foot sheer cliff armed only with a rope and a 'beaner, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. I repelled down it and many more while down in Moab, and I've found my real fear.

Lately, as I've been online gaming, I realized something. I was reading Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time series, and in it, there are the Aiel. (Ai-EEL)

"Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day."

Sightblinder is the book's version of Satan, and in the book he is named Shai'Tan. Anyway, the part that impresses me is 'screaming defiance with the last breath'. I mean, the devil himself is standing in front of you and you're screaming defiance at him? That's pretty cool.

So I started thinking about it and I put it into my style of play in online games.

And guess what.

I got better. Instead of backing away and retreating, and firing, hoping that a bullet will hit their head, I charge them. "Screaming Defiance" is my battle cry. You aren't gonna take me down without a fight! I'm not gonna vanish into the night. I'm gonna go on, and I am not gonna give up until one of us is down.

So this is my challenge: Instead of running away from your fears, face them. Charge them down. Beat the fears that may haunt your sleep.