Wednesday, December 30, 2009

And nope, that's not a five pound loss. From mid-December to today I've gained 5 pounds. Guess I enjoyed Christmas and the days leading up to it a whole bunch. Now it's time to get those New Year's Resolutions going and get off the pounds.

I've enlisted Patrick's help with getting rid of all the leftover candy and junk food from Christmas and also with dumping all the sugary sodas down the drain. Next on the list is to clean the kitchen and take inventory of what we have and figure out what we need.

Getting the house clean is the next step. I will be more relaxed and more focused if I am not constantly looking at a mess. A clean house is less stressful, which means no stress eating because of a dirty living space.

I am also going to work on getting my scrapbooking/sewing area cleaned and organized. This will give my idle hands something to do when I would otherwise be sitting on my butt on the couch eating something out of boredom. I can't/won't eat when I am scrapbooking or sewing. I am hoping to take up card making, too. My mother-in-law does it, and she creates some beautiful cards. I'd like to learn card-making techniques.

OK, so starting now... I am heading for the shower, changing clothes, and getting started on the kitchen. Maybe I'll even post some after pictures of my progress. (There's no way in creativity I'm showing anyone what my house looks like right now! LOL)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Third Day's Mark Lee tweeted last week, "I have officially declared next year Two Thousand Thin. Who's with me?"

Of course, I had to respond that I am in. Of course I'm in. I mean, what's a new year without a New Year's resolution to lose weight? Why do we (certainly, why do I) keep doing this? What is it they say? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

Well, I must be insane, because I am planning on trying again. I am currently working on a plan. What am I going to eat? Am I going to follow a specific diet? Or maybe I'll just count calories. Then, how many calories do I need to sustain me, but to also lose weight? When am I going to go to the gym? What am I going to do when I am there?

I haven't ironed all that out. I need to. I need to start Day 1 with a workable plan. Something I can do. Something I'll stick with. I'm eager to start, eager to see my body change for the better. Eager to feel better and have more energy.

So, I'm with Mark Lee.... "I have officially declared next year Two Thousand Thin. Who's with me?"

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I had a realization today. I think I have finally figured out why I am having such a hard time getting motivated and staying motivated. I have figured out why, even when I have this great desire, I can't seem to focus on what I need to do and actually do it.

When a task is hard or seems impossible, I tend to put it off until I can't put it off anymore. Yes, I am a procrastinator. In this case, I have such a long way to go to get to a healthy weight that I am putting off doing anything... It's hard. I've overwhelmed with the task ahead of me.. eating right and exercising to get this weight off.

I'm scared of failure. What if I can't do it? What if I lose weight and I still have high blood pressure? What if I lose weight and people don't like the new me? What if I really try to lose weight and I can't do it? What if I am able to do it, but then gain it back?

OK, so now that I've figured out what's holding me back, what am I going to do about it? I'd love to say, "I'm getting on program in the morning and I am going to get this weight off. I'm not going to stop until I reach my goal." I'd be lying, of course, to myself and anyone who reads this. All I can do is try to make one change tomorrow. And then make that change again on Monday. And then on Tuesday. Then, I can make another change.

OK, so I've accepted that this is going to be hard. It might even hurt a little - physically and emotionally. All those questions I put out there, they are valid. They are questions from way down deep. But, they aren't the main questions. There really is only one question I need to answer.

The real question is, "Am I worth it?"

I think I am. Now I just need to prove it.

(And if you read this far, I am so sorry.. I know I am rambling, and maybe it doesn't flow and make sense.. but I am not going back to fix it. LOL)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I am following Mark Hall of Casting Crowns on Twitter (http://twitter.com/markhallCC). Anyway, he tweeted that he had gained weight back and was thinking of doing a weight loss challenge. So, this is it. I'm not sure of all the details of it yet, but I know the first challenge, or dare as he's calling them, is to give up soda. All soda. Including diet. I'm down to 1-2 diet sodas a day, but I think I can do this. No soda. OK.

I've been weighing in with some friends at work each week, and I'm still doing the "Atlanta Mommas Biggest Loser" challenge with my "AM" friends. I've not really focused on either too much, but there's no better time to get focused than the present, right?

So, on to a new challenge. 1st Dare: No sodas.

Oh, and my own personal challenge - get to the gym tomorrow. Do something! My friend and I meet at a gym in McDonough, but I haven't been in ages. So, tomorrow is my day to get back. I felt so much better when I was going. I think tomorrow I'll do elliptical, or maybe group power.. Decisions, Decisions..

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I was delusional. I believed I looked good in the red dress. I saw myself on video today. I do not look good in the red dress.

Look:

The song was great, the body - not so much. OK, so the song is called "If We Are The Body." It's about being the body of Christ. But you know, let's look at this another way - my body is Christ's body. Look at what I've done to it. Years and years of inactivity and poor eating habits - this is what happens. I so want to say this is the final straw, that from now on I am going to be perfect. I know I won't be. This is hard. I know I am going to have to rely on Him on a daily basis to help me stay active and make good choices. I won't be perfect, but with His help I can be better. And hopefully, soon, I'll have a red-dress video where I can know I look good.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I don't think it's lazy, because lazy doesn't carry herself to the gym 5-6 days a week. Lazy doesn't take "Group Power."

I quit Weight Watchers for the summer, because I knew I wasn't going to be home consistently enough to make meetings and actually follow the plan. I think subconsciously I was giving myself permission to quit my weight loss efforts altogether. I've been down that road too many times before. Thankfully, I never really gave up. I lapsed a little, but not too bad.

So, Erika and I went to a "Group Power" class at Gold's yesterday. The only word I can come up with to describe it is "Ow!" LOL That class really kicks some tail. The easiest description is it's weight lifting to music. It works out every muscle group. Trust me. I feel them all right now. I am going to go 2-3 time a week to this class. I plan to alternate with either an aerobics class (I love Cardio Splash - water aerobics) or some time on the elliptical. Gold's guarantees that class participant (in Power) will see a definite difference in their bodies if they do 16 classes in 60 days. That's roughly twice a week.

So, my new approach is more exercise and better eating habits for now. I am still not on any particular diet plan, though I hope to start incorporating more fruits and veggies in my diet. I plan to take fresh, clean fruit to school each week to keep in my fridge for snacking, and for lunch I am planning on soup and either a salad or sandwich. Breakfast will be either a cereal or a couple eggs. I am open to ideas, though. For dinner, I am thinking something simple most nights. Grilled meat and a veggie. If I am stuck in the kitchen for an hour or two each night, I won't stick with this. However, I want to start trying out new recipes once or twice a week. Don't want to get bored.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

So, I haven't posted in a while. I have sort of taken a break. OK.. so it wasn't really a break - I just sort of quit. We had vacation in June - and it was pretty much all of June. Now's it's July - and I am trying to get back into the swing of things. Establish some routines and positive behaviors that I hope will carry me through to the next school year. So, I started back going to the gym today. I can't afford a personal trainer, so I am going to try to start taking classes. Tomorrow my friend Erika and I are going to a water aerobics class followed by "Group Power." I've done that class once before - it will kick your tail, that's for sure!

I had quite the embarrassing experience yesterday. We went with friends to Six Flags. I struggled to fit in some of the seats, had trouble with safety bars coming down, and had to extend seat belts all the way out just to be able to ride. We had a great time, and I want to get season passes for next year. That gives me a year to lose enough weight that I can fit in the seats or can get the safety bars down in a snug but comfy manner.

I've got a lot of hard work ahead of me. I know I can do this. I just need someone to keep reminding me that I can do it.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Actually, it was a ten piece hot wings, two chicken strips, and 1/4 an order for tater chips. Yeah, I ate way too much.

I was just planning on ignoring it. You know, pretend that since the points values were not easy to find, that they don't exist and just carry on like last night's dinner never happened. But, today I decided I needed to face the music. I sat down and figured out the points (it was like 25 points!) for the meal. I logged the points. And now I am moving on. It still stinks, though.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Today was a success! I didn't blow my points (yep - I am doing Weight Watchers) and I am not starving. Plus, I managed to make McDonald's work today. I now know that the Southwestern Salad at McDonald's is pretty good. I had it with the grilled chicken and light Italian dressing. I wish they had a light "southwestern-y" salad dressing, but overall I can't complain.I didn't make it to the gym today.. actually I didn't get in any exercise. But, I didn't plan to, either. I knew with Patrick's schedule today that I most likely wouldn't get a workout in. My plan for the week is to get to the gym Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I might even try to get in on Sunday since our afternoon class is over and Patrick doesn't have handbell practice. Woohoo!!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Tomorrow the next round of "AM's Biggest Loser" begins. What is this? It's just a group of friends trying to lose some weight, Biggest Loser style. I've watched exactly one episode of the The Biggest Loser. Maybe I should actually watch this - it might inspire me.

Anyway, so tomorrow I begin again. Why is it that when people (me included) start a diet, there's always something magical about Monday? And why do we have that "last day of" whatever it is we aren't supposed to have? I mean, eating this crap is what got us here in the first place. But, I am right there eating the crap that contributed to my weight gain. I have been craving meatloaf, so today I made it. It was yummy, too. At least I used lean beef. That's about all I can say to somewhat redeem myself here.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I have been on a diet since I was a teenager... with breaks thrown in here and there. I've given up, regained, and started over again so many times. I've tried Atkins, South Beach, cabbage soup, Weight Watchers, diet pills, etc.

So, I don't really need to know where to start on a diet. I've got that. Where do I start with a blog about dieting? Specifically, what exactly am I going to put here? What part of my weight loss journey am I brave enough to put here for my friends and family (and maybe even strangers) to see? The thought scares the you-know-what out of me.

So, why am I doing it? I have to keep up with what I am doing somehow, and since keeping a paper and pencil journal never worked for me, I thought this would work. I need accountability. I need to put this in writing somewhere so that I can't just ignore my actions and pray they don't show up on the scale. Hopefully I'll have more successes to write about than mishaps I want to hide from.