"..This is a practical, simple, and lucidly written guide that is invaluable reading for anyone who is experiencing difficulty, or knows someone experiencing difficulty in managing their emotional responses (e.g., anger, anxiety, self-pity, neediness, aggression, etc.)

"Women who love too much" by Robin Norwood. It can be checked out on Amazon.

Although written several decades ago, this book is very relevant and revealing.

"Is having 'somebody to love' the most important thing in your life? Do you constantly believe in Mr Right, and that being with him would guarantee you would no longer feel depressed or lonely? Are you bored with 'nice guys' who are open, honest and dependable?"

"..This is a practical, simple, and lucidly written guide that is invaluable reading for anyone who is experiencing difficulty, or knows someone experiencing difficulty in managing their emotional responses (e.g., anger, anxiety, self-pity, neediness, aggression, etc.)

I like this premise . .I wrestle with acknowledging my feelings after years of not allowing them and at the same time knowing I have choice over how I want to react to something.
It's a catch 22 at times.

We take on shame early in our lives from what we are told and what we experience about ourselves, especially in relationship with our parents and siblings. Examples of situations that can cause shame:

Parents who are overly critical of their children, who yell or physically mistreat them.
Children who have lost a parent.
Children who have not had regular experiences of being loved.
Children and adults who have experienced trauma or abuse.
If you have toxic shame, you probably resonated to one or more of the phrases in the previous section. Think back to where you heard these first, before you internalized them…and it could very well be from one of your parents. Here are some other toxic shame triggers you may have heard growing up:

You idiot
You should be ashamed of yourself
What’s wrong with you?
Who do you think you are?
Have you no shame?
Shame on you!"