"He's [Michael Clarke] on Twitter saying sorry for not walking? Mate if he did that in our side there'd be hell to play. AB would chuck his Twitter box off the balcony or whatever it is. Sorry for not walking? Jesus Christ man."

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it into a fruit salad

Coupling is easily my favourite. A brilliant demonstration of gender difference, with a number of insightful observations (which are hilarious because they are so true). For example, anyone who has ever seen someone telling a lie would be familiar with "the prickles, the blurts and the headlaugh."

And as well as all that clever and witty stuff, there's some just plain hilarious randomness, such as the otter line.

Been going on a bit of an Arrested Development watching spree. Mum came back from Shanghai a few weeks ago with Seasons One and Two, meaning I now have all three seasons. Onto the second disc of the second season atm. Best show.

Been going on a bit of an Arrested Development watching spree. Mum came back from Shanghai a few weeks ago with Seasons One and Two, meaning I now have all three seasons. Onto the second disc of the second season atm. Best show.

I STARTED THINKING THAT I should write more about Australian drama. Support the industry, promote local content, plug Aussie talent. So I watched three episodes of McLeod's Daughters. And it's terrible. But let's face it, I hated it before I turned it on. And you hate it, too, even though you've never watched it. And you hate the people who watch it, even though you've never met them. Don't worry, the people who watch McLeod's Daughters aren't reading this because they are having a sleepover at Cindy's place, straddling a broom and making horsey noises or writing, "I love ponies 4 EVA!!!!" on their folders. So sit back and enjoy, as I confirm your presumptions and massage your prejudices again.

It's difficult to believe but watching McLeod's Daughters was worse than I expected. This tribute to mediocrity and committee-created slop is a cross between The Saddle Club and a tampon advertisement. It's kind of Mills & Boon with horses but devoid of artistic merit. All 179 episodes. God help us.

Watching this badly written, poorly directed, money-spinner made me sad/angry/bored/want to sit 'round a camp fire singing The Court Of King Caractacus, in more or less equal proportions. The cast are not good looking enough to be models but deluded enough to think they can act.

It's heterosexual, Caucasian spunks between 21 and 22 as far as the eye can see, apart from one really old woman, who was probably 24. She has powers to speak to the dead, which came in handy when one of the daughters was having visions and hearing voices. Which lead to this dialogue; Girl: There was a woman crying. Woman: What kind of crying? Girl: (thinks hard) Sad.

Then it comes over all porno as one handsome stud says to another, "That looks like a big job, need a hand?" Turns out they're brothers. The dialogue is so bad, the acting so poor and the audience so stupid that excessive amounts of incidental music are necessary to indicate to the viewer when to feel happy, when to feel hopeful and when bad stuff is on its way.

It is very good at what it is. Death, birth, lost love, found love, explosions, ghosts and witness protection programs; all with extremely high production values. If you like your acting like your tables; wooden and with four legs, tune into McLeod's Daughters. This show does provide one valuable service, it gives these actors work, which prevents them inflicting their musical careers on the public.

Most people collapse on the couch every night and watch telly. I can assure you that if Channel Nine programmed The Toe Jam Of John Howard at 7.30pm on Wednesday they would still get 1.3 million viewers simply because it's between Temptation and The Footy Show.

Who's to blame? The people who make this homophobic, xenophobic, jingoistic crap or the people who encourage them by switching over? The Biggest Loser is not on Ten, it's on the couch watching McLeod's Daughters.