Money?

Guys... is it really innate in you to desire a woman who can depend on you financially? And do you really think less of a woman if she buys you things while you are in a serious relationship? After answering this, would you ask your woman to buy you gifts every now and then? If not, is it because of pride that men are supposed to have when it comes to money? Does this differ with age?

I prefer a grown woman who can take care of her own financial needs. Someone who contributes to our long-term goals and is not a drain on my resources.

That said, I don’t ask my old lady (or anyone for that matter) to buy me anything, ever. Sure, it’s nice if she thinks of me and gets little things here and there, but those are nice to haves. Not must haves. I have little respect for grownups who ask for gifts, most of the time.

ETA: When children are involved, I have MAD respect for a woman who can homeschool, cook, clean, walk the dog, etc., while the man is out grinding at work. But those types of women are a rarity.

My partner loves the fact that I am a financially independent woman. He does make more than I do but I know that he is very happy that I can be a contributor if we get married, even if it is not dollar for dollar. He knows that I do not expect him to take care of me, but he also knows that he is able to take care of me, and I do think that is important to him.

Being able to do something and being expected to do something are very different things.

Any men who desires a financially unstable partner in his life either wants to be control and to dominate. But that won't happen when a man is not financially stable.
Secondly you asked about how men value women when they don't buy gifts. My answer to that is, I value them indifferent whether I received a gift or not.
Your other question I could understand clearly

A number of my successful college friends married tradesmen. It often did not work out terribly well. There was a lot of resentment on both sides once kids hit...the women felt like they were earning most of the money and doing most of the domestic/child care stuff....and the men felt they were working a lot harder than their wives (physically) while the wives got paid (significantly more) to sit on their azzes all day in an office and really did not appreciate the stresses of office politics, billable hour requirements, etc.

Who made the most money mattered less when both were white collar..and possibility when both were blue collar, but I don’t have a lot of experience with the latter..

A number of successful men I know are married to less educated/successful women, and that seems to work out fine. In most instances, the woman is much more physically attractive than the guy...so there is that whole piece too...

Men are taught from a very early age that their entire worth as a partner and a father is how much money they produce. Just as women are taught from an early age that it is a man's responsibility to provide for them.

It is not a matter of pride as you put it but rather that they will be judged as unacceptable, which, if you are honest, you will admit that this is pro forma in our society. How many women will marry a guy that makes substantially less than they do? Men have been doing this forever. Perhaps men ought to start refusing to marry women who do not earn an equitable income? Probably won't happen as that is not their biggest in picking a mate.

We now have a lot of women college graduates, often with advanced degrees, who make more money than a fair percentage of men, and virtually every article about this subject, usually written by a woman, states that men's egos are hurt by this, which is complete bullshit. The articles often do not mention, or do so only briefly, the resentment a lot of women have in being the primary earner.

Men do not ask for gifts, nor do they insist on you spending money on them. It is not one of our "emotional needs" as it is for some women. Nor do we insist on a large diamond ring or weddings at an exorbitant cost.

Well, what do you know? I guess I can spout stereotypes just like everyone else.

AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without explicit permission.