Disclaimer: The Power Rangers belong to Saban. Arthur the Awful Author is my creation, as is
his evil alter-ego, Arthur D. Newkid.
Author's Note: No, before anyone can ask, Arthur isn't really my name. I'm not even male. I'm
just in a really weird mood 'cause it's exam week.

The Perfect Fanfic

SilvorMoon

Once upon a time, Arthur the Author sat down at his computer, turned it on, and opened
up his word processing program.

"I'm going to write the perfect fanfic!" he exclaimed. "It's going to have all the best stuff
in it I can think of, and everyone will think I'm awesome! I'll become a superstar and sign
autographs. That'll be cool."

Instantly, a zillion little Power Rangers fanfic demons crawled out of the woodwork to
clamor around Arthur.

"We'll help you!" they chorused. "We're good at this kind of thing. We'll help you write
the perfect fanfic."

One afternoon, the Power Rangers were hanging around the Youth Center, when suddenly
a new kid walked in. Everyone sat up and stared.

"Hey, who's that?" asked Adam.

"I don't know," said Tanya. "Must be a new kid."

"He looks cool," said Adam. "Think maybe we should talk to him."

"I think we should," Tommy replied. "Hey, you! You must be new around here. Come on
over and say hi."

The new kid came over and smiled at everyone. He was dressed all in white, and was very
good-looking.

"Hey," he said. "My name's Arthur D. Newkid. Who are you?"

The Rangers all introduced themselves. Arthur said hello to all of them, and he was in
return invited to sit down and join them. They talked for a while, and Arthur quickly learned that
they had a lot in common - like him, they were all very good students, and they all practiced
martial arts. By the sound of it, some of them were nearly as good as he was. It wasn't long
before they were all fast friends.

"I know that," Tommy Demon replied, "but it doesn't make any sense! Why is it
that this good-looking, talented kid shows up at school, but nobody notices him except the
Rangers? And why is that we invited him over to our private table in the middle of our private
Ranger discussions? What if we had something important to talk about, huh?"

"You didn't," said Arthur.

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm the author, that's how," Arthur answered.

"So you mean there aren't going to be any emergencies today? We're just going to spend
the whole fic just hanging around talking to this new kid?" asked Tanya Demon.

"No," said Arther. "Look, I know what I'm doing! Just play along, okay?"

He turned back to his writing. Tommy Demon looked at Tanya Demon.

"Do you think we should listen to him?" he asked.

"We'll give him the benefit of the doubt," she replied. "For a little while."

"All right, all right!" said Arthur. "Quit whispering behind my back and get back in your
places! I'm going to need you all in a minute."

Reluctantly, the demons returned to their places around Arthur's keyboard and leaned
over to see what he would write next.

~*~

Act Two: The Scary New Villain

Far out in space, a scary new villain was making his way across the galaxy with his army
of scary spaceships. He had millions of monster soldiers, all of them loaded down with weapons
unlike anything Earth had ever seen. They were scarier than anything the Power Rangers had ever
battled before. As for their leader, he was so terrible that even the other villains were frightened of
him.

In the castle of the Machine King, Klank came running into the room.

"Your majesty, I have an urgent message for you!" he exclaimed. "We've just gotten word
that a scary new villain is on his way over!"

"Oh, no, not that!" the king exclaimed. "We'll have to evacuate immediately!"

Within moments, the Machine Empire had packed up their things and were flying for the
dark parts of the universe, never to be seen again. The scary new enemy was pleased to find the
moon nice and empty so he could move in with no problems. Very soon, he had his own base
established and was ready to begin taking over the world.

~*~

"Why?" asked the Adam Demon.

"Why, what?" Arthur replied.

"Why is he going to take over the world," Adam Demon clarified. "It doesn't sound like
he really needs to. If he's so powerful, what does he want with Earth? We really aren't good for
much, unless he's got a really killer craving for McDonald's or Britney Spears."

The Rangers were still hanging around the Youth Center, having a good time talking to
their new friend, Arthur D. Newkid. Suddenly, their communicators went off.

"Sorry, Arthur," said Tommy. "I just remembered I had something I need to do. I've got
to leave."

"Yeah, and we remembered what he remembered," said the rest of the Rangers.

"That's okay," said Arthur. "I understand."

The Rangers hurried out into an empty hall and answered their communicators.

"Zordon, we read you," said Tommy.

"Rangers, there is an emergency. Please report to the Power Chamber immediately for
briefing."

"We're on our way," Tommy replied, and they teleported away.

~*~

"Ever notice that nobody ever uses that hall but us?" said Katherine Demon.

"That's not so unbelievable," answered Tanya Demon. "What's unbelievable is that every
time we go into it, we don't actually go down the hall. We just stand there in the doorway where
everyone can see us."

"You be quiet," said Adam Demon. "We're not here to heckle the show, just the fic."

"Right. Sorry."

"I know why the new kid doesn't mind them leaving," said Rocky Demon.

"You and the rest of the world," Adam Demon replied.

"Anybody else want to bet that the day Zordon has been dreading has arrived?" asked
Tommy Demon.

"This is getting really bad when we can't even wait for the end of the scene to make
comments," Katherine Demon muttered. "Can we get back to the story, please?"

Tanya Demon stared at her. "You actually want to see the rest of this?"

"I want it to be over," she replied.

"Oh. Good point," Tanya replied. "Okay, on with the story!"

~*~

The Rangers arrived at the Power Chamer in five streaks of colored light.

"Ay, yi, yi, you're here! Thank goodness," Alpha exclaimed.

"What's up, Zordon?" asked Tommy.

"The day I have been dreading has arrived," Zordon replied. "The Villain Without a Name
has arrived from the far reaches of the universe to take over the world. His powers are greater
than anything you have faced before."

"What are we going to do?" asked Katherine.

"I'm afraid I don't know," Zordon replied.

"I'll tell you!" said an unexpected voice.

Everyone turned to stare. Standing in the back of the Power Chamber was Arthur D.
Newkid.

"Arthur! What are you doing here?" asked Rocky.

"I came to help you," Arthur replied. "You see, my name isn't really Arthur D. Newkid.
I'm really an alien from a distant galaxy, and I've been tracking the Villain Without a Name,
looking for someone worthy to carry these Way Cool New Powers I've brought."

He waved his hand in the air, producing an elaborately decorated box, which he opened,
revealing ten crystals in different colors.

"This crystal is mine," he said, holding up a white one. "I use it to become the White
WayCool Ranger, your new leader. The rest of you can have the other colors."

"But there are ten crystals left and only five of us," Rocky pointed out. "Who's going to
carry the rest of them?"

"Oh, I've already taken care of that," said Arthur. He snapped his fingers, and the door of
the Power Chamber opened. In came Jason, Zack, Trini, Billy, and Kimberly.

"Hi!" they all said. "We're back! Arthur called us and told us you needed our help, so here
we are!"

"Hi, Tommy," said Kimberly. "I'm so glad I'm getting to come back again. I hope you
know, that letter thing was all just a misunderstanding. I'm really still in love with you."

"I understand completely," answered Tommy.

"What am I going to do now?" Katherine complained.

"It's okay," said Arthur. "You can date me now."

"Oh, cool!" answered Katherine. "I never liked Tommy anyway."

"Now it's time to hand out all the powers," said Arthur. "Everyone take your crystals."

"Congratulations," said Arthur. "You are now all the WayCool Rangers, protecting the
Earth against evil!"

~*~

"Ooh, drama," said Rocky Demon. "Does this mean the story's over now? Please?"

"What do you mean, over?" asked Arthur. "I'm just getting started. What's the good of
giving everyone way cool powers and stuff if they aren't going to use them?"

"Please tell me there's going to be a plot now," Tommy Demon begged.

"But it already has a plot!" Arthur replied.

Tommy Demon sighed. "I meant a plot that doesn't totally revolve around your new
Ranger and new Villain."

"Of course not!" said Arthur. "I'm going to make a very good plot. Just watch."

"All right," said the demons. "We'll give you one more scene to prove this is a good
fanfic."

"What do you mean?" asked Arthur. "This is the best fanfic ever!"

The demons moaned. Arthur shrugged and went back to his writing. There was just no
telling with these demons sometimes.

~*~

Act Four: The Traitor

It was very dark in the base of the Villain With No Name. He sat on his throne, watching
his minions scuttle around in the shadows. Suddenly, the door opened, and a dark figure walked
in.

"Who are you?" asked the Villain With No Name.

"My name is Billy Cranston," answered the shadowy figure. "I want to talk to you."

"About what?" asked the Villain With No Name.

"I want to be on your side," answered Billy. "My friends don't respect me anymore. I have
to hang around and build stuff all day and never get to do anything cool. I got gypped over the
Golden Powers. The writers tried to marry me off to a fish. And now Arthur gave me these new
powers in ugly colors, and I don't want to wear them all the time. I want revenge on Arthur now,
so I'm going to be on your side."

"That's wonderful," said the Villain Without A Name. "I will bestow upon you the Long
Lost Powers of Supreme Darkness, which I have been saving until a worthy warrior should
appear. They are now yours."

Back on Earth, the Rangers were having a snack at the Youth Center with their new
friend, Arthur D. Newkid. Suddenly, Arthur looked up and frowned.

"What's wrong, Arthur?" asked Katherine worriedly.

"My extrasensory perception tells me that something very bad has just happened," he
answered. "We should go to the Power Chamber at once and talk to Zordon."

The Rangers got up and slipped away towards the hallway that no one ever used, and then
teleported to the Power Chamber. Zordon and Alpha were waiting for them.

"Rangers, I'm glad you are here," said Zordon. "I have very bad news. We have been
betrayed. Billy has just gone to the side of the Villain Without A Name, and has accepted the
Long Lost Powers of Supreme Darkness. With these powers, there is no telling what he will be
able to do."

Suddenly, there was a brilliant flash. In the middle of the Power Chamber appeared a
dozen men with long silvery beards and long white robes. One of them was carrying a jeweled
box.

"Fear not!" said the man holding the box. "We are the Wise Men of the Distant World!
For years, we have been searching for our long-lost prince! Long ago, he was kidnaped by alien
invaders, who finally hid him away on this world to be raised by humans. They hid him well, but
we've finally traced him here. You, Tommy Oliver, are our lost prince, and heir to his Mystical
Powers!"

There was a flash of light, and the Wise Men appeared again. With them was a scrawny
kid in thick glasses.

"Excuse us," they said, "but there's been a small miscalculation. It seems you're not the
long-lost heir after all. Those powers actually belong to some weird kid named Melvin." They
took the box away from Tommy and handed it to Melvin.

"Oh, this is cool!" he said. "I wonder what I can get for this on eBay?"

He wandered off, and the Wise Men vanished again.

"So much for your Mystical Powers," said Billy.

"That's okay!" said Arthur. "We still have the WayCool powers I brought! WayCool
Ranger Power, activate!"

There was a flash of lights, in which Arthur swirled around gracefully. The lights died
away again, leaving him clothed in a Sailor Moon-style fuku.

"How do you like it?" he asked. "Cool, huh?"

"Ew," said Katherine. "Never mind. I can get a boyfriend somewhere else."

"You wanted us to wear that?" asked Rocky.

"What's wrong with this?" Arthur replied. "This is the noble battle attire of my planet!
What kind of weakling goes into a battle wrapped up in armor? It's far more honorable to show
your courage by leaving as much skin bare as possible!"

The Rangers looked at each other.

"Can I kill him now?" asked Billy.

Everyone nodded. Arthur gave a shriek and ran away, with Billy in hot pursuit. There was
a burst of light and an explosion. Billy came back, dusting his hands.

"That takes care of him," he answered.

There was a burst of light again, and the Villain Without A Name appeared. Everyone
tensed.

"Thank goodness," said the Villain Without A Name. "You finally got rid of that kid!"

"Huh?" said everyone.

"I've been following that Arthur D. Newkid around forever," he answered. "For a minute
there, I was worried you really liked that twerp, but I can see now that you're all right. I'd be
proud to make an alliance with people like you."

"Awesome," said Tommy. They shook hands.

"So I guess this is a happy ending," said Kimberly. "We don't have any more enemies to
worry about, Billy has powers again, and I've got Tommy."

"Actually, I meant to say something about that," answered Tommy. "Actually, Tanya and
I were planning on eloping, and now that we don't have to fight monsters anymore, this seems
like a good time. Come on, Tanya."

Tommy and Tanya walked off happily, holding hands. Kim and Katherine stared. They
looked at each other.

"Well, that's a bummer," said Kim.

"I guess so," answered Kat.

"So I guess we're single now," said Kim.

"I guess we are," Kat replied.

"So... Doing anything tonight?" asked Kimberly.

"Not that I know of. Want to go do something?"

"Sounds like fun."

So Kimberly and Katherine walked off into the other direction, happily holding hands, and
everyone lived happily ever after. The End.

~*~

Arthur stared at his computer screen.

"That was the weirdest thing I ever read," he said.

"I know," said Tommy. "Isn't it great?"

"It's awful," he said. "The worst fic I've ever read!"

"Well, what are we going to do with it?" asked the Adam Demon.

"I don't know," he replied. "I can't just delete it! I've been working on it all day!"

"Why don't you submit it under some made-up pen name?" asked the Tanya Demon.
"Then nobody will know you wrote it."

"Well... Okay," said Arthur D. Author. "What would be a good name? Hm... SilvorMoon
has kind of a nice ring to it. I'll use that."

So Arthur submitted his fanfic and waited to see what would happen.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.