Don't worry. You'll meet your word count eventually…

TERRIBLE PROSE TUESDAY: A little on the handsome side

I’m lucky enough to have some friends who are fellow writers and readers. They work on creative projects with me, give me helpful feedback, and allow me access to their extensive libraries. It’s awesome.

A couple months ago, one of them told me about a book she’d bought at a writer’s conference that was the worst thing she’d ever read.

I’ve read some bad stuff. Not just mediocre stuff. Actual, painful, horrifically bad stuff, some of it so popular and well-liked that I don’t feel comfortable mentioning it by title but it may or may not have been written by Suzanne Collins. So when Claire brought up this book, I thought she was exaggerating.

She wasn’t.

So I’m currently slogging through a 400-page fantasy novel riddled with grammatical errors and silly dialogue. I can’t say I’m not enjoying it, thanks to Claire’s annotations and my continuing incredulity that something like this could exist.

I can say, though, that this is the worst thing I’ve ever read.

In a positive twist, this book has inspired me to do a weekly series. Two of my favorite things are being dramatic and hearing the sound of my own voice. Starting today, I plan to read a passage of unbelievably ridiculous prose every Tuesday.

Though I flub occasionally, these passages are presented unchanged, unpronounceable names and all.