std from humping a pillow?

Feb 8, 2008

I've been humping a pillow to masturbate for years. But i had never thought to clean it or anything until a while ago..i'm just concerned that i could have gotten an infection or std from continuing to hump the same pillow without cleaning it in between. thanks

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

You've been spunking the same pillow for years??? Dude, that pillow must resemble a glazed donut from Krispy Kreme by now. And most likely it's stiffer than your stiffy. But why are you worried about STDs? Do you think your pillow has been cheating on you by humping with other hotties? STDs are sexually transmitted diseases whereby an infected person transmits the disease to an uninfected person. So if you're the only one spunking Mr. Pillow, you've got nothing to worry about, OK? By the way, another of your home schooled buddies had a similar question. See below.

Dr. Bob

Will this give me a disease or virus of any sort?
Jan 2, 2008

ive been masturbating for like 2 months in the same bed covers Will the sperm have accumulated and turned into some sort of disease so that if i masturbate i will catch it from my bed? please answer doc i'm really scared about this.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You've been shooting loads into the same bed covers for two months??? WOWZA! Those sheets must be as stiff as two pieces of plywood by now.

You're wondering if the accumulated sperm will turn into some sort of disease that you will catch from your bed??? Hmm . . . let me guess: You're either home schooled or a victim of an abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education program, right? Yeah, I thought so. Dude, no, your spunky-funky sheets will not contaminate you, but I do think it's time they were pried off your bed and sent through the Maytag, OK? You can read more about masturbation in the archives of this forum. We have a whole chapter devoted to it.

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