‘How to Tell When Your

“How to Tell When Your Relationship is on the Rocks” from the novel Eighty-Sixed, by David B. Feinberg

1.He forgets your birthday. He forgets your anniversary. He forgets your name.
2.He changes the locks. He neglects to notify you of a change of address. He gets married without sending you an
invitation.
3.He is oblivious to changes: your new hair color, your pubic trim, your untimely overnight metamorphosis into a
large cockroach.
4.You don’t bother changing sheets before he visits. You don’t bother changing sheets after tricking before he visits.
You don’t bother changing sheets after tricking with someone into wild scat scenes ten minutes before he visits.
5.he comes home five hours late, smelling of the cologne that the barney’s tie salesman was wearing and with a
different tie.more…