Month: September 2016

First procedure I couldn’t make it through, tapped out… But got full sedation 😜 for the other one AND the Doctor’s son is in a band, told me he’s the roadie (lol) so we had the greatest convo before he drugged me up. I really do have a blessed, unique and wonderful life…

Sometimes I wish I had the equivalent to a check engine light… So that it’s clearly visible that I’m not “firing on all cylinders”… Even though it seems like I’m moving fast and doing a lot, doesn’t mean that I’m feeling great, I honestly haven’t felt great in 3 years, but there’s been ups and downs during that time… But definitely not great times. For the past month it’s been such a physical struggle and a lot of stuff hurts or itches, this morning I asked myself why am I even getting out of bed, no one that feels like this should get out of bed, then my mind somehow just made my body get up and roll out, EVERY MORNING I wonder how I do what I do and still manage to keep my composure. Maneuvering life as a “normal person” has it’s own challenges within itself, so I know most folks face some type of struggle, even with no health issues I know that one could still have their bad days but, I can only speak from what I know and live daily… This “lymphoma bizness” is the real deal, no lie no mamaguy… A very high percentage of my strength is mental, I don’t know how I’m able to will myself (yes, because I literally pick myself up daily) to keep going but I do, and I appreciate everyday that my mind and body can agree that we’re going to keep fighting. This is why most ppl’s problems/issues don’t matter to me anymore, because I got more than enough going on and I wake up, give thanks for life and deal with my challenges, no complaints, just hopes that I can always make it through another day… I got this, but just know it’s not easy.