Fireflies

An interesting thought occurred to me about photographs.Have you ever noticed the way people, particularly women, look back at old photographs of themselves and are wistful? "Oh, I looked so young then!" "Look at my skin!" (*sigh*) "Good grief, I was so skinny! And here I thought I was heavy at the time!" "Awww, look at us, just gorgeous. We had no clue."No one ever really mentions that just as we had no clue at the time, there might exist the possibility that we have no clue right now. Captured moments of today are the wistfulness of tomorrow. I guarantee that just as we can look back at a photo from ten years ago and appreciate ourselves, ten years from now we will look at a photo from today and think the same damn thing. How come nobody brings this up? Wouldn't this awareness bring us a certain measure of peace?Can you imagine the liberation if we could just appreciate ourselves right now? Who we are, where we are, what we look like? If we could just look in the mirror long enough for a basic once-over and a smile-wink and be done with it? If we were too content and confident to critique? I saw my daughters this weekend, growing up before my eyes. Isabelle sang in a kid rock band on Friday night, with a music school that teaches music by ear. She played keyboard, drums, and had lead vocals on two songs. I watched her up there, mic in hand, smile on her face, totally at ease and I wanted to scrape some of the confidence oozing from her pores and bottle it up, save it to dab on myself sometimes or anoint her later, if she forgets what she's made of. This was followed by my girls' First Communion on Saturday morning. Watching them, poised, pensive, and peaceful, walking down the aisle at church - my breath caught in my chest. Are these really my girls? When did they get so tall and beautiful? The contours of their faces are losing the roundness of youth. Their features are distinct. No longer kid paws, their hands have assumed the unique shape that I will recognize for the rest of my life. I know the next time I see them walking the aisle dressed in a white gown and veil I will say to myself, "Her First Communion seems like yesterday..." Where does the time go?I am going to make a point of taking photographs in my mind, all the time. But not just to chronicle -I want to really see them now, appreciate them right now. I want a Polaroid memory. I want to seize the moment, hold it, take it all in...and then save it.At running group this week Amy and I were following the pack. I asked her if she noticed how unbelievable the legs were, loping in front of us. Really, they looked more like a college soccer team than a group of 40 year olds. "Do you think they have any idea how lovely they are?" I asked her. "They have no clue." she laughed. I wanted to tell them, but I couldn't catch up without popping a lung, so I'm saying it now.Savor yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Appreciate your beauty. Wink at yourself in the mirror. Tell your husband he has nice buns. Tell your wife she's hotter than she was yesterday. Tell your children how you see them. Tell your parents thank you. Remind your friends who they are.After all, ten years from now, right now will be ten years ago. Moments are like fireflies. You are a runner, so go chase them. Cup them carefully in your hands and watch the glow seep through your fingers. Don't miss it.