Saturday, July 19, 2008

An Updated Version of Me

"Someday...there's gonna be an updated version of me...and somehow you'll gonna see...an updated version of me..."

Updated version of me, a much better person...comes from the lines of KC Concepcion's single An Updated Version of Me from her first album, Cassandra.

I first heard this 4 weeks ago when my officemate Mitch asked me if I heard this song already coz she finds it very nice. Light and easy, the song that tells about moving on and getting better. And somehow, I was inclined to listen to it song more often, as I feel that I should go and move forward, become a better person not because of someone else but because its for myself.

Like the girl in the song, I am still the lucky one after all. Its not changing yourself differently, but enhancing your good self to be better until you're better than better. Why not best? Because when you're at your best, there's no way but to move less best. I don't want to be the best in short, but I want to be better.

Behind this goal are two things: a new life adventure, and the past left for archiving....

Only 1 week from now, I will move and settle to another place; new sight, new people and new things. Myself is not new to me, so to bring harmony with the new things around is to change to an updated and enhanced me. The next big thing is the change that will be brought about by the past that was never mine. Funny, it sounds like the same old story, but when reality strikes, its quite cruel and you can't help but learn to differentiate yourself and take strides to redeem it from the pain.

I thought I was ready to bleed, with the gauze ready to suppress my tears from flowing because reality is all in my head. I'm like in the eye of the storm, where calmness of the wind is present while the sight of pain is in front you. And when the storm passes through, the strong gust of wind will shake you away to bleed for the love you always yearn for, and accepting the cut it left behind is more painful.

Thanks to a friend who helped bandage the wounds with affection and care. And now its time to move and explore new objects, opening up to endless possiblities. I find every reason to be happy despite the fact of revoked yearnings. God only knows best, and with His guide and care, for sure there will be more updated versions of me to come.