Chuck Hayes

It always bugged me that in ‘Do-Re-Mi,’ the hyper-catchy song from The Sound of Music, the ‘La’ portion of the musical scales was just a note to follow ‘So.’ That’s some bullshizz. ‘Do’ is an animal, ‘Re’ is the sunlight, “Me” is you.

So O.J. Mayo‘s life of crime isn’t working out as he hoped. First he gets his time with USC struck from the historical record after accepting swag, then his short time as a Bourré cardsharp ended with a black eye, and now he’s suspended 10 games for using the illegal muscle-builder DHEA.

What would it take a sane person to grab Tracy McGrady off waivers in a standard-size fantasy league? A month ago, the thought was unthinkable. I’m not sure what a thought is if one cannot think it. When you’re drunk and rambling to your friends at about 2:30 in the morning on New Years Day, discuss it and get back to me.

Josh Smith only missed two of his 16 shot attempts on his way to a season-high 34 points. Has Jorsh really become a top 5 forward in this league or are we seeing simple runoff from a Joe Johnson-less Hawks team?

Upon entrance into the 2010 season, the general consensus was that LeBron James was the NBA’s best player and Kevin Durant was fantasy basketball’s best option. It still appears to be that way by most accounts. It’s an opinion so common it feels like fact.

When I called the first Killers album “crappy,” I was wrong (shoulda saved that opinion for their last two). When I guessed that ‘Lost’ was all in Hurley’s head, I was wrong. When I said that no Ben & Jerry’s flavor could ever top Phish Food, I was wrong (shout out to Americone Dream!

Heat GM Pat Riley was undoubtedly pursuing Erick Dampier ever since it was apparent than Joel Anthony was going to spend the season getting tossed around by the opposition like the losing rooster in a cock fight. I mean, this old man has been wooed harder than the 70-year-old billionaires with profiles on eHarmony.