WWE Elimination Chamber

Professional Wrestling was the first thing that ever broke my heart. I used to say Hulk Hogan was the first man to break my heart, which is true, but he was playing a role in WWF at the time. I have since given my first heart break honor to the world of professional wrestling.

The match was Hulk Hogan vs the Ultimate Warrior. I was a diehard, room full of merch, Hogan fan, brother.

My parents would always invite my aunt, and my soul sister cousin over for Pay-Per-Views . This same cousin would be my Wrestling partner in crime for many years to come. We would order Chinese food, and all sit on the sectional in the living room, the grown-ups drinking wine coolers, and us kids seeing how many chicken fingers we could eat without shitting ourselves.

Hulk Hogan dropped the title to make some movies….(we all know how that went). I cried in the bathtub for three hours as my Mother tried over and over to convince me it was just a show. I was a kid with a lot of feels. I still am a kid with a lot of feels, but I have learned better management, most days.

Twenty six years later I do far less sad crying, but professional wrestling is still breaking my heart.

Last night once again the fandom was given a new woman’s match. A match we have not had before, and with each milestone we have a first ever, and it is a big girl power hurrah, and maybe, just maybe that should be enough for us girls, who have sat through mud matches, strip matches, and bikini contests, but it is not.

Now you should know dear reader that I am without a question a Sasha Banks Super Fan. There is no partiality, and I always think she should win, but I understand when she can’t.

I do not understand yesterday, or maybe I do, and that makes it worse.

The Women’s Chamber match was great. The story, and timing of the match were beautiful, it had me pacing the house, curled up on the top of the sofa ready to vomit, it gave me hope, gave me a Bayley I have wanted to see, a Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville looking capable, and scrumptious, gave me Mickie James in not huge flowing bell bottom pants, and Alexa Bliss playing her character exquisitely.

I can even say after Alexa’s win I sat disappointed, but at least it confirmed the Nia Jax, Alexa Bliss rumored WrestleMania card. Then in good WWE fashion not only does Nia Jax LOSE, but I have to listen to Michael Cole try and shove the tag “irresistible force” down my throat so many times I think my ears might be bleeding. I was reminded of Finn Balors first appearance on Raw when they kept trying to refer to him as “The Demon King”, it was awkward, and felt like the voice over to a WWE video game was caught on repeat.

I watched Auska win.

And that is when the eight-year-old in me wanted to climb into the bathtub, and cry.

WHAT!?

WWE had the chance to book Auska vs Sasha Banks at WrestleMania.

Sasha Banks gets to go out there and make everyone look better, she gets to be the iron man, she cannot hold the belt for a month, she cannot win, she cannot go to Wrestlemania, and she cannot break streaks of legends in the making.

I got to think If I woke up this disappointed how the real woman who plays Sasha Banks gets by? For what it’s worth girl, I see you, and I am beyond grateful for the work you have given this business, and it may sound, old lady insane, but I light a candle every week at church in honor of this real life TWENTY SIX year old woman who has inspired me more than she could know.

For everyone bugging Roman Reigns won the chamber… Come on guys? Really?

You know if they have a chance to have Reigns ( who if underneath that breastplate has abs, I would care to see them. Stop hiding them Reigns you need the ladies in your fight to get over homeslice) beat Brock Lesnar, (who is a big, red, gross, ogre looking, part timer, making too much money,) so they could have the Undertaker streak breakers main event- then I am sorry to say it is you who may be the fool.

The disgust is misplaced, because for some reason it is really easy to boo Roman Reigns. Lesnar should have dropped that belt months ago to Braun Strowman.

Keeping the title on Brock Lesnar for this long is insulting.

*disclaimer my opinions are my own, and I am not trying to throw body shaming shade at Brock Lesnar. I honor the thought that some ladies might think he is fine as hell, but not the lady who authored this opinion. I will take accountability for throwing shade at him being a part timer ,and holding the belt this long, because, come on!

Until we meet again fellow wrestling fans, and if you’re not, you should be.