Hilarious Conservative Dress Code In Effect For Sunday’s Grammys

Sorry, Rihanna! Last year’s cleavage is not allowed to make a comeback at the 55th annual Grammys on Sunday. American station CBS, who will be airing the award show, has ordered a dress code advisory for all attendees who want to appear on camera.

“Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure.”

Keeping “puffy” genitals under wraps is a good call, CBS, but no cleavage? No sheer panels? It’s pretty short notice for a costume change! Besides, a little bit of scandal and a tiny hint of nudity is everything we love about the Grammys. Is the average audience actually offended when Angelina Jolie exposes a little thigh or January Jones rocks a cut-out dress? Here at FLARE, we’re envious, not scandalized.

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One comment on “Hilarious Conservative Dress Code In Effect For Sunday’s Grammys”

I am probably the only 20-something young woman around who feel this dress code is a good move. I grew up in Scandinavia where nudity is no big deal, so the reason I like the dress code is not because I am “conservative”. On the other hand I do feel like it is sad that all female celebs have to show skin to be liked, by both men and women. Look at the men at the gala and compare how little skin they show, they are still successful. Women on the other hand still need to be “pretty” and make themselves into sex objects to make it. I think this is a horrible message to send to young women, “Do you want people to like you? Be sexy, show some skin!” Should we not be further ahead than that in 2013? I am no conservative, but I am a feminist. Find my blog at: thefuturistas.blogspot.ca