Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

I feel a little like I was duped again! Met a male at a M&G a while ago. I took a liking to him. We basically play with couples, but what can I say, I especially liked something about this guy. He found me here on SLS recently and wrote.

I stuck my neck out and told my better half that I was really interested in this single guy. He gave it some consideration and said Okay, we could all get together. I called the single guy...he let me know, to be honest, that he is not divorced, that he still lives with his wife, that he doesn't know when it's really going to be over, and left it up to me. Of course I told him I don't play with anyone who has to hide it from a partner. He can contact me when/if it's over.

It just kind of sucks. I didn't waste a lot of time on it, but still...I got all whooped up for nothing. I have had other so-called single guys contact me before. I could put it on my profile again, I guess, but I don't like to have a lot of negative things in it. I am turned off by negative profiles.

By the way, to anyone who thinks s/he can say, "I don't judge others..."

It's impossible to NOT judge others. That's what we do all day long. You walk around, see people, and judge them instantly. Even if you are thinking good thoughts, that is still a judgement. When people say, "I'm not prejudiced," I think to myself, "But we are ALL prejudiced. It's a matter of being aware of what they are and taking responsibility for it."

Thoughts are just thoughts. It's the actions you take in relation to those thoughts that count.

Reading PA

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ok taking deep breath.. wow..

Poly I agree 100 %

Bridgeport PA

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The issue to me is the limits of hedonism. The issue is whether or not it's okay to ignore the very real trauma that a family can face because of infidelity because it's "just sex". The issue for me is weighing a long-term pain versus a short-term pleasure. I come down heavily on one side of that issue. Do I take it seriously? Yup. I sure as hell don't want any destroyed lives on MY conscience.

I'm done spouting off my side of the issue.

Ithaca NY

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"Oh, and in case some of you think I am such a bad person and sinful and dishonest, that is judging me. "

You're right, it is. I don't make apologies for being judgemental, and I don't believe anyone else who says they aren't. We may all judge different things, but we all judge. You're entitled to have meaningless sex with married men and not care that their families could pay huge penalties for that. I'm entitled to think that shows a blatent and, yes, chilling, disregard for the serious pain of fellow human beings. To each their own character flaws.

L.

Ithaca NY

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"(sorry guys) what guy doesn't lie?!?"

I raise my hand.

Lake Wales FL

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Well, nympho, what goes around comes around. That's all I'll say to that.

I'm not going to mess with someone who has to lie in order to be with me. I'm not going to encourage someone to make choices that result in them having to lie to another person. I really do hate people who lie to others about something so important, and then justify it in their own mind. That usually involves somehow blaming the other person..."If she would have _______, then I wouldn't have to do this."

Anyway, the original post was about my thoughts and feelings on this turn of events, but it became about something else. Oh, well.

Reading PA

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Okay Nympho... I'll bite first. The most important, if not the only reason lifestylers stay clear of "cheating" (meaning behind a spouses back, which is different in the first place with true lifestylers) is the fact that having sex with someone other than your spouse requires alot of trust, with everyone involved. When dealing with a "married but cheating", that person is already showing the ability of dishonesty. That's not a good base for any kind of relationship people are looking to obtain in the lifestyle.

Lora

Pittston Township PA

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I feel a little like I was duped again! Met a male at a M&G a while ago. I took a liking to him. We basically play with couples, but what can I say, I especially liked something about this guy. He found me here on SLS recently and wrote.

I stuck my neck out and told my better half that I was really interested in this single guy. He gave it some consideration and said Okay, we could all get together. I called the single guy...he let me know, to be honest, that he is not divorced, that he still lives with his wife, that he doesn't know when it's really going to be over, and left it up to me. Of course I told him I don't play with anyone who has to hide it from a partner. He can contact me when/if it's over.

It just kind of sucks. I didn't waste a lot of time on it, but still...I got all whooped up for nothing. I have had other so-called single guys contact me before. I could put it on my profile again, I guess, but I don't like to have a lot of negative things in it. I am turned off by negative profiles.