Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I had a sex dream last night about the hot hispanic AP clerk that works here. It was very weird. Yes, she's a she. Do you ever have weird dreams about co-workers?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Alabama won't win the BCS title this year.

A lot of angst around town here as the NFL has started promoting the Thursday night season kickoff game by putting up posters of Joe Flacco all over town, including one huge one on the stadium.

Remember when Bill Simmons was the sports guy, and wrote stuff, and was kinda funny...yeah, me neither.

Matt Harvey put out a tuite* that said he plans to be back on April 1st...of course he didn't say April 1st 2014.

still haven't seen the miley cyrus thing, I guess I must live under the same rock that tem and jug live under.

I do think that any guy who is named Robin must hate life. It's probably why robin Williams did so much coke in the 80's.

I have to choose between going and seeing Idaho play against Wyoming, support my alma mater, you know, and going to an Italian festival where there is all kinds of great food and drinks. I'm kinda leaning towards the Italian festival, I must be getting old.

Is anyone watching foxsports 1? I don't even know if I get that channel yet.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Guy in my second $$$ league kept Eli Manning. He used his 1st round pick to do it. 5th overall pick, Eli Manning. Needless to say I don't think the guy had a good draft. Needless to say he will win the title. I wish the other people in the league were as dumb, but they were not. One guy went back to back TEs in rounds 5 and 6, that seemed odd. Davis and Rudolph. Another guy waited until round 5 to get a RB, I think he is going to trot the STL guy out there, either him or Bernard from CIN. All in all it was good time, although I got yelled at for having drafts on Sunday and then Monday. I guess cmtem thinks I pick the schedule for these things.

Why is it in Cinderella that the glass slipper never turned into something else after midnight? Did she already have some fancy glass shoes beforehand? I mean, the carriage became a pumpkin, the horse mice, her clothes went back to normal, but her slipper stayed. WFT?

Pirates are no longer in first place. They still have a good lead in the WC, especially for WC 2, but I still think they are going to choke and miss the playoffs. They roll like that.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Here we are again from the as. tavern, in beautiful Gilbert, Arizona, for another runny diary. Here is a cliff's notes version of the 2013 MTV video music awards...
*note, this is on dvr, so the times are jacked up
8:27 fucking Lady Gaga. I hate her. She whores for almost as much attention as aitch. Almost. She's ugly and not talented. She is like everyone on LOV. I'm gonna FF through this opening.
8:31 oh look, speaking of untalented, it's 1 Direction. Fucking Brits. They just showed T Swift and S Gomez. I'd 3some that pair. First award of the night is best pop video. I hope Bruno Mars doesn't win. And the winner is... Selena Gomez. She's showing some leg. I like it. She seems flighty. I like it.
8:35 ha, the SNL chick is doing the Miley Cyrus act. That's entertaining. Do you know what's not entertaining? The real Miley Cyrus act that is on my tv now. FF
8:38 Blurred Lines. Jesus, Miley is a little whore. She looks like she's hammered.
8:39 Two Chainzzzzzz. There is a lot of fat asses on stage. It's like a twerkfest right now. I like it.
8:43best hip hop video. FF /tem & jug. I hope Macklemore wins. Because he's white. (S). And the winner is... Macklemore. Suite. Ryan Lewis sounds like John Legend. Macklemore wears tight pants. And he has a suite 90s haircut. And now they're talking too much. NEXT!
8:48 Yeesus. Fucking talented dude. A giant ass, though. He's more of an ass than Kim K's ass is an ass. I think I literally hate him as a person, but he's probably one of my top 5 favorite artists. Crazy.
8:53 I'm tired if this Daft Punk song. Pharell is cool, though. They're presenting best women* video. I hope Miley doesn't win. And the moon man goes to... T Sweezy. She has no boobs and no ass. But I would do her. Hopefully they've got Yeesus locked up backstage.
8:55 best video with a social message? Gotta be Macklemore, right? I've never heard this award before. Winner...Macklemore. And a fat chick with a sleeve tat. That tat had to be so spendy. That's a lot of skin to cover. Time for some long windedness.
8:59 Justin Timberlake chills. /mize. FF time
9:01 oh look, it's N*Sync. They're cool. Old guys doing a boy band act is funny. Bye Bye Bye Bye.
9:03 holy crap, JT has been onstage for like 30 minutes or something. Realistically, probably 15 minutes.
9:05 best song of the summer? Wft. 1 Direction huh. NEXT! Fucking Brits
9:06 Jason Collins sounds like a robot. Weird. Actually, it kind of sounds like his mouth is full when he talks. Too soon?
9:07 Macklemore on stage. I like this Same Love song. It's so weird watching this white dude spit lyrics like does. Doesn't make sense.
9:11 fucking hamsters
9:12 T-Boz & Chili. Chili is hot. That is all. Drake is on stage, so I'm gonna pee.
9:15 best male video. I'll take all of them. /bilok
9:17 Oh Selena. Oh look, Bruno Mars. FF
9:18 fucking hamsters.
9:19 vidyo* of the year. I hope Thrift Shop wins. As long as its not bruno. VMA goes to...JT. I just gave mize a boner. I hope I never say that again.
9:20 final performance of the night. Katy Perry. I hope we see fun bags. This boxing setup is retarded. I mean, I get it. Eye of the Tiger. Rocky. That's cute. But just get on stage, wearing next to nothing, and that will suffice.
Good night

Friday, August 23, 2013

Seems to me Keef doesn't watch much TV. and Tem doens't really watch cable TV, sticks to the networks. And Meiz spends most of his down time on the internet. Jug runs so TV is out. Aitch watches facebook. Blue is a mystery. Like that rich guy that lives on a hill mystery.

So just me and TP watch awesome programming on the tube I guess. Ok.

Isn't the liquor process awesome? Take a raw ingredient and interact with it in a way that creates this perfect little drop of nectar that lowers our inhibitions and makes us feel invincible. I still am bothered by people who say they don't drink. And I'm not saying you should go hard everyday but an occasional beer, wine or spirit? Really? Never?

Instead of beer (to not pack on so many calories) I sometimes come home from a days work and fashion me up a cocktail before dinner. Today it was a tequila sunrise. Tequilla, OJ, splash of Grenadine.

Hitler spoof videos get me every time.

If I take a "few" swigs from the white wine bottle while I cook with it ; even though I don't like white wine, even though I don't drink white wine ; does that make me an alcoholic?

I really need to start exercising. Serious. A few push ups here and there is not going to get it done. Oh but who has the time!!!!!

But serious either I need to start exercising or buy some suite ass life insurance so when I die from a heart attack at age 38 my wife will just be emotionally scarred not monetarily scarred. I got a 750K policy through work but homegirl needs at least another milly on top of that. She cray.

Such a morbid thought. Check this though. My mom was one of 11 kids. 7 had heart attacks, three dead from massive ones, 2 before 40 years old. Dad's side. 2 heart attacks. I mean I gotta think it's in play for me too even though right now I'm a picture of health heart wise. It's gotta be a factor. Otherwise what's the point of the question on all those medical forms of "family history"?

AC Monday to Tuesday. If I hit jackpot quitting work for realz.

I'm off this week. I like to take the first two weeks of July and the last week of August. That's how I roll. DET.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

One of my buddies thought it would be a good idea to have "guys night" on a Tuesday. WFT. Did I mention that he's unemployed so it's not a big deal if he gets drunk on a Tuesday night. It's rough today, but i'll get through it.

Von Miller is a cheater. He's starting to sound like Lance Armstrong with his whole, "I didn't test positive" bullshit. Hey, if you were on the straight and narrow, you wouldn't have accidentally on purpose dropped your piss cup.

Anyone else following this Hannah Anderson kidnapping case. Keith mentioned the other day, that he thought she might have been in on it. Now, apparently dude left her like $125k in his will? This story gets stranger and stranger by the day.

Apparently the cops found the gun used by Aaron Hernandez. But he's, you know, still a good guy and the media is just painting him as a monster.

And what has this world come to where a few teenagers are bored, so they go kill some random dude in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma? If you're bored, read a book, play a game, go for a walk. Don't kill people. I didn't realize we needed to spell that out in our society these days. Now if that had happened in Detroit, it probably wouldn't have even made the news.

Friday, August 16, 2013

It's amazing to me how someone could just flat out lie like A-Rod lies. I mean on the grandest stage of them all he just lies. Says he doesn't even know Tony Bosch it's like you know sometimes maybe you tell a little lie to get by or get someone off your back. Harmless right? And only is told in front of one person or a few whatever. He just tells whoppers with all the lights and cameras on and thinks nothing of it. That's a special person. Sociopath?

I get it gay people. You're everywhere. Great. But what I don't get is how you've been able to convince straight men that wearing pink shorts or tight pants or short shirts or stupid shoes or clamdiggers are ok. I mean have you seen what dudes be wearing lately. I don't know who to blame but it's a problem. Unless they are gay too then damn there are a lot more than I thought.

I should have been born 70 years ago. I'll take all those problems of the baby boomer era over the pussification of America today.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Zooey or Emily Deschanel....who ya got? I got Emily. I think the popular pick is Zooey. Her name looks like Gooey. Also her eyes are kind of buggy.

I can't believe that Isla Fisher, Rachel McAdams, Amy Adams and some other chick that I can't remember aren't related or aren't the same person. I think one of them is really two people.

Kiele Sanchez is like a poor man's Jessica Biel. Except maybe now she is better. She is on The Glades. I like that show because it follows the same routine every week. 3 suspects. 1 did it, 1 didn't do anything wrong but is a dick and the 3rd didn't commit the murder but they did something else illegal.

It sounds like Manziel made lots of money from signing things. I only care because it is a rule that everybody knows so he knowingly broke it. I hope 2 things come of this. 1) Manziel sits out a year and 2) they get rid of the stupid ass rule.

Lebron as NBA player association president would have been great. You most defnitely want a guy with no college degree running that show. Can't one of the Duke guys step up? Grant Hill?

Why do fans keep falling off of shit at games? America is defintitely getting dumber.

So this Rivera guy isn't good anymore?

UFC on Fox Sports 1 this weekend. I have no idea if I get that channel.

Friday, August 09, 2013

I feel bad for people that don't get the true fall experience. Weather, sweaters, opening the winders* fall breeze, leaves.

I got the hots for Rene Russo circa 1990-1998 ish.

I feel like shit sometimes in the morning, I assume that is getting older type stuff.

Malkovich was a creep in the movie In the Line of Fire

So busy at work man, wish I can sit on my phone and rap with you boys.

Can't believe the fucking Super Bowl is in the swamps, shit is cray. Weather is gonna be awful.

The United States of America is so fucking cool.

The lawsuits the DOJ have brought up vs BOA and JP are just window dressing. Civil suits are a joke. They will pay. And that's it. IT's like 3 days of revenue. Annnd that's it.

The truth. Capitalism is awesome. But serious out of 74000 or so employees about 10% are the assholes who greedily fuck people for their own benefit. The rest are guys like me working inside the clock making sure shit is proper, that shit works, that accommodate clients and bring home food and diapers for their family.

26,000 sexual assaults reported in the military last year.........wft.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Bought the car yesterday. I didn't focus on the monthly payment this time like Blue said the other day. USAA recommended a fair purchase price for the car on their website. They also have certified dealerships that they recommend, so that price was sent to the dealership with my name. That price fel right in line with what Kelly Blue Book recommends, so that made negotiating easy. We ended up paying just a few hundred more than that price plus a couple of options. cmjug is happy. I traded in my Tundra and now I'm driving her CRV. Apparently we are a Honda family. I'll miss my truck, but I'll enjoy the gas mileage on the CRV.

Shark week is still awesome! We still have several shows to catch up on on our DVR.

My first fantasy draft is next Saturday...suite! I don't like doing them that early, I'd rather do them the weekend before the start of the season.

I don't think college athletes should be paid, and I pretty much agree with everything Cowherd said yesterday about it. I also think the NCAA is making themsevles look really bad by selling jerseys with player names on it on their website (among other things).

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

What if Texas A&M tells the NCAA to go fuck themselves. I mean does the NCAA have a guy standing there that won't allow Johnny Football onto the field if they suspend him? And the fact that he's in the SEC that has already said that they're not a fan of some of the NCAA rules and stances on things, does that change how the NCAA views this? I mean, I know it's an extreme idea, and no way would they do it, but it would be hilarious if A&M said "well, we don't think he's suspended". I know they'd "forfeit" all the games, but whatever.

Jug should get a brand new Chevy with a lift kit.

rockies lost to the mess when a former rockie player, a guy they cut, scored from 2nd on an infield hit. Willie Mays Hayes style.

So the US government filed a lawsuit against Bank of America. Maybe about 5 years too late here USA.

I watched a little bit of the football game on sunday, felt good to ease back into it. I'm fired up.

It's funny how the talking heads here in Denver a month ago were talking about record setting seasons for the Broncos and their offense, etc. Now, everyone is taking a step back and saying, well they've looked good, but they aren't perfect. And, I can see how they could lose some games. bunch of morons, I say.

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done for me lately. I don't want to weigh in on whether or not you did anything wrong, in all actuality I don't care. We all do stupid things sometimes and we all need to be forgiven for them. I used to think that the world of baseball had no bearing on me or my life, but boy was I wrong. It was only a few days ago that I would look around and everything was like a mirror. My face was everywhere. I was shamed, I was being noticed by people who never even knew who I was before. But then you stepped right into the line of fire and quite possibly saved my career. I mean I was on the outs. I was on the way out. I had one foot out the door and people were pushing me out, but then you....you magnificent gentleman stepped in and saved me. I have seen the light and its name is Alex.

Very truly and thankfully yours,
Riley Cooper

Stupid ESPN Headlines

McGwire: 'Wish I was never a part' of PEDs - really? no shit Sherlock, I thought it was your proudest moment. Boy am I dumb.

How does a legally blind writer cover the Reds? Hal McCoy found a way. - Fucking Rick Reilly. Umm, the guy has someone tell him what is happening. He isn't deaf, it isn't rocket science.

Stewart breaks right leg in wreck, has surgery - Could you be a little more specific about which Stewart?

Friday, August 02, 2013

Man what is this world coming too? A guy can't say he wants to fight a nigga?
Guy says the N-word while he's all riled up (pun) and now he needs counseling?

None of you guys wear pajamas right? Please tell me no.

That twerking post from Monday was feeeenominal*

Just looked at TO's stats. He's a hall of famer. Sorry.

Sure the game changed. It changes every year. From decade to decade the game shifted from Bradshaw's Steelers to Montana's 49ers to Aikman's Cowboys to Brady's Pats to Warner's Rams to Cam/Colin/RGIII option reads. That doesn't mean TO ain't a hall of famer. Doesn't mean Andre Reed isn't either. WR is the toughest way into the hall.

Maybe A-Rod can play for the Jets. I'm sure that buffoon would consider it.

Ever get the feeling that technology has just started to scratch the surface on what it could be?

That's True Romance for those who don't know. RIP James Gandolfini:

"Virgil: Now the first time you kill somebody, that's the hardest. I don't give a shit if you're fuckin' Wyatt Earp or Jack the Ripper. Remember that guy in Texas? The guy up in that fuckin' tower that killed all them people? I'll bet you green money that first little black dot he took a bead on, that was the bitch of the bunch. First one is tough, no fuckin' foolin'. The second one... the second one ain't no fuckin' Mardis Gras either, but it's better than the first one 'cause you still feel the same thing, y'know... except it's more diluted, y'know it's... it's better. I threw up on the first one, you believe that? Then the third one... the third one is easy, you level right off. It's no problem. Now... shit... now I do it just to watch their fuckin' expression change."

Thursday, August 01, 2013

We might consider having one post a week. Then we might get back to bnu. This is what we've become. Will we be back with a vengeance one day?

I got a ticket this morning. I failed to signal at a stop sign before making a left hand turn. It wasn't a real ticket though, I got it on base from the base cops. I should bring them a dozen donuts from time to time at the front gate.