Though she be but little, she is fierce!

My golden moments with Amma

Date :7th Jan 2012

Day: Saturday

Time : 7:45

I was dejected because of the rejection of Devi Amma on my request for Dharshan of Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi Devi). She said that no Dharshan for students this time. It is not more than a month since I had the last dharshan of Amma. But I am a bit greedy about taking Amma’s Darshan as it is a wonderful and different experience for me each time 🙂 ..

Me and Sowmya were sitting in the bhajan hall. Dharshan was going to get over as there were only less number of people. Menon Sir came made the announcement that anyone who didn’t get the Dharshan may come now. We looked at him with a great expectation. He looked at us and smiled and said not for students. We pleaded to him. He came near us and I expected to say try next time. But to our wonder, he gave the permission. I was very excited and I just couldn’t believe that I am going to take the Dharshan. We ran to the stage where Amma sit. There were about four people in front of me. I decided that I must ask something to her at least this time. Each time I used to prepare something to ask to her. But when my turn comes, I used to swallow all the questions and say Namah Shivaya to her and come back. I didn’t want that to happen even this time. I thought for some good question that will strike her attention. Nothing came to my mind. Just two more people in front of me. I told myself, “Idiot.. Make some question and ask at least this time “. Well I did ask last time to her actually. But that was a question borrowed from Sowmya and I was not at all satisfied.

My turn came. Somebody was talking to her and Amma was hugging me. I said Namah Shivaya as usual to her. She gave me the prasad. Some one at the back started to pull me up. I caught the chair and didn’t get up. I waited for Amma to finish her talk with the other person. She then told “Ponnumole” at my ears. She was looking somewhere else after that. I started the question and tried to grab her attention. I said ” Amma, I recently saw a video that showed the rapid expansion of Christianity and Islam all over the earth. And also I heard and read a lot about the conversions of Hindu people to other religions. So I wanted to know whether the our religion will last if it goes like this?”. She looked at me, and smiled. I felt very tensed and I saw my hands shivering a bit. She said “I have been hearing queries about the religions for a long time. I am really fed up with this issues. All what I want is , whatever religion be in the world, all people must love each other and there must be peace. The religion doesn’t matter. All must be in Harmony”.She said this in a very cute manner, with a sweet slang of a mother to a baby, that I was encouraged to ask the next question. I asked “Amma, you have come across so many difficult situations in your life. And you have faced everything very bravely. Some of the things that you does are done for the first time in the history by you. Where do you get this courage from? And how do you know that the decisions that you took were the right? And even i want to be like you. What should I do for that?” Again she smiled. Not just only her, I heard the giggle of some people surrounding her . Again I was tensed whether I was wrong in asking like that. She replied “Karna went for the war even after he knew failure was inevitable. So don’t be worried about the result. You can be brave. There are great examples like that in our epics. Those are my inspirations. You will know how to take the right decision from Anubhava (experience). There will be always problems. Recently two of my children passed away, but Amma stayed calm, there are so many problems while running an institution, and suffering everywhere.( And then she gave an expression showing it is very simple) Understand them as such and be patient with it. Sun is only one. We see its Pratichaya (reflections) all around. That doesn’t mean there are so many suns. Even truth is only one .” And then she gave a wonderful smile. My heart was fleet. I felt “Wow!”. Then she hugged me again. Close to her heart. And called me “ente muthe” (my gem). I said again Namah Shivaya to her. She waved her hand back and got a chocolate from someone beside and gave it to me. I got up and smiled at her. I looked at the chocolate. It was a heart-shaped one. I felt tremendously happy than ever. I felt very excited. And I felt I have done some great karma in my previous birth so as to get a chance to be in the presence of Amma, the Mahatma. I will cherish this moment forever in my life. And I will never forget the sweet chocolate heart that Amma gave me. I see it as a symbol of her love for me.