hate where i am at the moment

I had the perfect life 2 growen up children both with good jobs one a doctor the other an officer in the navy, a wonderfull husband a loving mum and dad i was doing a nursing degree .then bang my husband who was 55 died of a heart attack the day of his funeral ny mum took ill was in and out of hospital for a year i was the only family membre who lived close to my parents so whilst greving for my husband i had a very sick mun to look after and elderly father to support and try to study for my degree mum died a year after my husband 3 weeks after mum died dad took ill and died 6 months later. some how i managed to get my degree but cant get a job. i have a geanetic illness and at the moment cant for some reason get my medication i feel like shite all my friends think i am copping well i cant tell them the truth i an so depressed and lonely it is hard for me to get out of bed i put on a happy face to the world but some days i feel so alone i want to end my life

Ooh that is really hard what you are going through, im really sorry to hear that. But don't give up, something will come up to make it better. I know, God doesn't just leave us, just have hope, don't lose it and it will get better!