Thursday, March 9

Paranoia?

A number of things have pissed me off today.

I'm pissed off at my own laziness because I had to do an essay in 2 hours that I could have started 2 weeks ago. What's worse is that an essay I thought was due in tomorrow was in fact due in today and I don't understand the questions on it.

This essay situation today was not improved by the fact that I've got pmt and my stomach looks pregnant. I just made a cake to make me feel better and I ate the entire thing. Silly, wasn't it? Now none of my trousers fit.

But what's really upset me, and I choose the word upset because it saddened me, is that I read an article on a news website that Princess Diana's death was not caused by a conspiracy. Seems random that it would upset me? Allow me to explain.....

The driver of her car was recently found out to be a member of French intelligence. There was another car, I believe it was a whie fiat, it's driver was never found. It wasn't approved that she was dating someone of Arab descent, and she did too much good. Made the rest of the royal family look bad.

It's almost 10 years since she died and there has been so much theory over the whole situation. Maybe we'll never know what hapenned, but I know, and I think most people in the country feel the same way, that something isn't quite right. There's a lot of stuff going on that we, and by we I mean the public, aren't told about.

Maybe it's just a bad day for me, but it worries me how scary the world is these days. I was told by my lecturer the other day, that living in a city, we get photographed hundreds of times a day. Advertising worries me. Given that I work for a natural cosmetics company and you learn about ingredients, you realise that as consumers, we are all being ripped off. And food! I witnessed my housemate eating days old take out the other day. I asked him, do you think about what you're eating?

No one thinks about what they put in the their bodies, what they put on it, and what they feed their mind with. Maybe this is paranoia, but there seem to be a lot of people who just do not care. They will live their lives the way television and magazines deem the correct way. They will be subservient to convienience, and believe everything the papers say.

I sat next to a woman on the train the other day, and she told me she worked for local govt and explained that no one votes anymore, no one knows about how the country is run. Her time is filled with petty things like mending roads and sorting out housing and all the things she thought she could solve can't be solved because she has no time, no resources.

I risk sounding like I think everyone should live their lives a certain way. I know people choose their lifestyles, but they are coerced into it by how their choices are marketed. I think corporate greed is taking over, and say with certain soft drinks companies, they just want growth, they don't care whose third world workers are exploited or whose children's health is ruined or how much waste they produce.

I told my Mum's friend at the weekend that the reason her (very well known) face cream didn't work was because it's a cocktail of mineral oils and preservatives. 'But it cost £35' she said, 'It said on the box that it was tested by dermatologists'. I explained that the fact that she spent money on it didn't mean it was going to work and it was obviously bollocks because it gave her a rash. She admitted that she only bought it because of the amazing adverts and claims made by the company.

I was happy because I've hopefully saved her a lot of money. But then at the end of the night she said that she was just like me when she was my age. 'We all grow out of it', she said, 'you think you can change the world but then you grow up (!) and have kids and it just doesn't matter anymore'.

I'm not some naive kid thinking 'the man' sucks ass. I get so sick of people that think just because you're young, you don't know. How many people could have done great things, but were stopped because someone told they were 'too young'?