Plato Jokes

This one is for you philosophy nerds. What do you call it when a middle aged woman takes a break from reading Plato dialogues?

Meno pause

Does anyone want to be in a platonic relationship?

I’m asking for a friend.

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

Nietzsche runs into Plato in the afterlife...

Plato seemed to be going somewhere so Nietzsche hailed him.

"Where are you going Plato?" he asked.

"I'm going to see the void beyond the boundaries of all existence" Plato answered.

Nietzsche was taken aback by this. "Don't do it Plato!" he begged, "When you gaze long into the a...

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens.

Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands.

“Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?”

“No,” Plato replied. “Bu...

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Plato is lecturing his students on the nature of change and how nothing is ever constant.

To drive his point home, he asks his students to give him an example of something definite."Master," says the first, "the leaves on the trees are definitely green.""Not true," answers Plato, "for they can appear brown, yellow, or orange in the autumn months.""Master," says the second, "t...

Why did Aristotle believe men could mold themselves through their actions like clay?

His teacher was Plato.

Ancient Humor

Once Plato said "Humans are nothing but featherless bipeds". To this, Diogenes came running with a plucked chicken and said "Behold! A man"

To Do is to Be

To Do is to Be-Socrates

To Be is to Do-Plato

Do Be Do Be Do-Sinatra

Who is Socrates’s worst student?

Mediocrities

Who was his busiest?

The one with a lot on his Plato

A man is dating three women and is trying to decide which to marry. He gives each of them $5,000 to see what they do with the money.

The first has a total makeover. She goes to a fancy salon, gets hair, nails, and face done, and buys several new outfits. She tells him she has done this to be more attractive to him because she loves him so much.

The second buys the man a number of gifts. She gets him a new set of golf club...

To do is to be - Socrates

To be is to do - Plato

Do be do be do - Sinatra

Socrates Gossip

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students...?"

A man walks in a bar with his dog...

The man thinks for a while and says: “Oh, this is just my seeing-eye dog. I'd better not split up with him”.

The bartender says OK and the man enjoys a few beers. Then he goes out and sees another man also...

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One time there was two farmers

One time there was two farmers that lived out on the road to Plato, Missouri. They was always good friends, and Biil’s oldest boy had been a-charmin’ one of Sam’s daughters. Everything was going fine till the morning they met down by the creek, and Sam was pretty god damn mad. “Bill,” says he, “from...

I know a Spanish philosopher and he lives in my kitchen...

His name is Plato.

Little Timmy always procrastinated his schoolwork

A few weeks ago, his teacher assigned the class to write a 10,000 word paper on a great philosopher, but with just 12 hours until the paper was due, Little Timmy had not written a single word. Realizing his predicament, Little Timmy hastily took a pencil out of his drawer and sat down in front of bl...