Our membership numbers are approaching 13,000, and getting more active every day.

Our chapters and members have participated in several campaigns — local and national, for fun and for a cause. We have had great partners such as Dove Men+Care, Plum Organics, Alex’s Lemonade Stand and GOOD+ Foundation who understand and support the important role fathers play in the lives not only of their children but other people’s children, now and in the future.

And then there is the City Dads Group website. I have the honor of watching over it in an effort to bring you entertaining and informative content about our work and our fathers’ efforts to navigate the joy, heartache and frustrations of modern parenting. We had some great reads in 2018 and I’d like to reacquaint (or introduce) you to some of them.

Favorites from the usual suspects

It all starts with columnist Whit Honea. In fact, I’m increasingly of mind that ALL dad blogging starts with Whit but the paternity test is still pending. I’ve known Whit for a decade but even before that he was (and still is) crafting poignant and poetic work about his boys, his life and what it being a father is. This is why his June column, “The Window of Childhood Doesn’t Need Cleaning,” resonated with so many:

I admit that, in terms of monitoring milestones … I have been focusing on 2019. It is next year when the younger becomes a teen in his own right and the older is able to drive and, in theory, seek gainful employment. …

Then it hit me. Those things will happen next year, and all that comes with them, but the impact is in the now, not the waiting. Specifically, if my oldest son is driving (and possibly working) next summer, then this is the last summer of his always being here, lanky and lazy, stretched across the couch without worry or agenda. This is the last summer of the status quo and our comfort with it. The window is always closing, and the question becomes this: Do we see the world through the opening or the stained pane sliding slowly across it?

The issue of consent is especially tricky for girls when it comes to romantic relationships. Popular culture romanticizes a borderless self. All those “I’m Nothing Without You” songs make me wretch because they foster dangerous self-talk, particularly for girls. No one’s self-worth should depend on another person. Much to my daughters’ chagrin, when we hear pop love songs together I often voice semi-humorous objections. In a recent example, Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” asked “What are you waiting for?” I hollered: “Consent! He should be waiting for clear consent.” Cue my daughters’ eyerolls, but at least they’ll remember the advice.

She has friends, but prefers them at arm’s length much of the time. She doesn’t do the deep sharing thing easily with others. The close friends she does have, she cares for deeply.

She’s a good listener with tremendous intuitive skills. She pays attention. Nothing gets by her. When I’m feeling sad or upset, she will notice and ask what’s wrong. And because she’s so intuitive, I can’t get away with the classic parental deflection answer: “Oh, I’m just a little tired.” She sees right through that.

(For those of you wondering where the podcast has been, don’t worry. We’re planning new eps for 2019. Stay tuned!)

Two topical episodes proved to be among our listeners faves:

“Dads of Daughters, Put Down Your Guns” was recorded in May 2018 after internet jokes about dads threatening their daughters’ boyfriends hit a new low when former NFL kicker Jay Feely took a photo of him holding a gun by his side as he wished his daughter and her date a good time at prom. This podcast features three of our favorite dads with daughters offering different perspectives.

“On #MeToo” featured two powerful voices from the blogging world, Karen Walrond and Mike Reynolds, in April 2018giving their perspective on how we, as parents, can best prepare our children for a new — and more equitable — world.

Can parenting and happiness co-exist? Yes, says KJ Dell’Antonia, the former editor the New York Times’ section formerly known as Motherlode (it’s now Well Family — progress for fathers!). We discussed her new book, How to be a Happier Parent, in light of so many moms and dads being stressed under the weight of providing and protecting during the supposedly happiest time of their lives.

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About Kevin McKeever

Kevin McKeever, editor for City Dads Group, is a freelance writer in between his duties as an at-home dad to three: boy, girl and canine. He writes the nationally award-winning "Party of One" newspaper column, tweets at @homeanduncool, and books face at Always Home and Uncool.