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Welcome to the world of:-

Grumpy

Woman

If I didn't do this,
I would be the mad woman you see wandering round Tesco's muttering
obscenities and smelling of wee.

Shame of
Thrones

I am a wuss. There has never been any dispute about this. I am
lucky if I can make my way through a 15 cert without the after
effects of whatever I’ve seen haunting me for days to come. This
lack of balls, causes me much angst, as I am an avid film watcher
and know I have missed out on what are no doubt phenomenal
films because I just can’t cope with gratuitous
violence.

Tour De
Rants

It was
bound to happen. A woman like me can only hold her tongue for so
long before her bile becomes indigestible, and I have to spit
words. Besides to be frank, this one has been brewing for
months.

Bicycles,
bicycles, bicycles–They are everywhere, apparently one in 10 of us
now cycles at least once a week. Really! Well,
I know at least 10 people that don’t, and I’m certain no one has
ever asked me!

Fifty Shades of
Whey Hey

I stand
before the world this evening a defeated
woman. Oh yes, my world as I know it is
on the brink of irrevocable change. My
life is meaningless and my relationship
ruined. My only hope of consolation I
think is to spend several hours flagellating my self with the
most vicious looking begonia I can find.

The
Lady is not for Burning

I normally reserve these levels of anger and disgust to crimes
punishable by the return of the death penalty and it is with some
large degree of surprise that I find myself writing this particular
blog.

Like many of my generation I grew up hating Margaret Thatcher, but
upon hearing of her death I felt no urge to jump up and down with
glee. I am appalled by some of the comments and events that the
last few days have shown.

Cat Gives Life for Quantum
Leap

This
is written as a warning to anyone out there that is not totally and
utterly prepared to have their brain completely
scrambled.

It is
a warning not to browse unsuspectingly through the online papers
looking for interesting articles, and I urge, no implore you not to
go near the science section unless you are very, very clever and
have lots of degrees in things like
physics.

Absinthe
Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I have been away from my blog for quite some time and have to
confess that upon my return my thought is more melancholy
than mirth. The other side of a couple of glasses of red wine
(Absinthe sounded good in the title but is actually a lethal
concoction that should only be drunk in extreme cases of
alcohol shortage i.e. Nothing else left in the cupboard) and rather
a lot of time spent on your own can make one more than a little
introspective.

Gamers
no Brainers?

With
Christmas rapidly approaching, it was with some interest that I
read two stories in the papers this week connected with the side
effects that over exposure to computer games, mobile phones and the
Internet have on our children.

The
first piece was reporting on a clinic recently opened in Central
London that specifically treats children aged between 12-17 with
addiction to computer games. The clinic of course is private and
they did not disclose how much the treatment cost, but I think it’s
fair to assume that it won’t be within the grasp of the average
Joe.

It
unfortunately also did not indicate in terms of hours what
constituted addictive behaviour or what their treatment
methods are.

Mobile Hookah

Brings Relief to Thousands!

I
failed dismally to maintain most of my new years resolutions by
about January the 2nd. They are to be found in the recycle bin
ready to be dredged up again later in the year, along with the
weekend papers pull out promises to make me slimmer and fitter in
only four weeks.

Four
weeks, four weeks you’re having a
laugh!

It’s
taken me the best part of 30 years to get my body into this
stunning state of depraved neglect.

Super
Size?

ME?

Ok
that’s it. I’ve put this off for sooooo long. Its time to take some
action.

Having
faced yet another wardrobe crisis. (For those of you that
have never experienced this, it is when you go to your
wardrobe and utter those despairing words of:- “Oh no I
haven’t a thing to wear.”

This
is not because you don’t have any number of lovely outfits to
choose from it’s because you have allowed yourself to get so
porky you can’t bloody fit in to anything
anymore.

So happy to have been a part of this. Fab project, fab three days in spite of the weather. Roll on next year! 😀 pic.twitter.com/yDXtXfHAzy

26th July @ 22:30

@AtticusBakelite I apologise unrefutedley. I will of course judge all future comments on the basis of your previous statement. 😊