I am a young Golden Retriever who was a homeless dog, I was moments away from being killed when I was rescued by Golden Retriever Rescue of the Rockies (GRRR), given a foster home, then a forever home. I write this blog to inspire other dogs and humans to help find homes for abandoned dogs. My family takes in fosters now and I help homeless dogs find their way to forever homes. Write me at Mogley.retriever@gmail.com

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

This is a very hard blog to write. This evening Agnes was put to sleep. We are all devastated, we thought she was improving and showing more energy and life with every day that passed. But she was also finding it harder to walk.

This noon Bella, Agnes and I were let out in the back yard for our noon time potty break. When we were called in, we were all at the back fence, we had all three been barking at someone that was walking their dog in the park. We were called back in and Bella and I ran fast. Agnes wandered back in what we had come to call the "Agnes Stroll". In the middle of a patch of icy snow, she sat down. From the door way they thought she was stopping to take a potty break. Then the potty break stretched on, when they called again, they could see her struggling to pull herself with her front feet.

They ran out and found that her left rear leg did not work, she could not use it and it was just dangling. They called the rescue and the vet to tell then Agnes was on the way. They called a neighbor to help carry her to the car and left with her. A few hours later they returned with the bad news.

Xrays showed that her leg had broken where bone cancer had already weakened the bone. That explained her weak hips and her trouble walking. It was not bad hips, it was bone cancer that was weakening her bones and taking her energy. On a younger dog they might have amputated the leg to give her another chance on three legs, but with her advanced age, and the trouble in her hips, the cancer had already spread and amputating could not isolate it or do anything to lessen the pain in her hips. With the pain in her hips, she would not be able to adapt to walking on three legs, all of her weight on one rear leg would be impossible for her to handle. She was still fighting the heart worms, and one more fight was not in her.

Agnes, we hope we did all we could to make your last days happy. We will remember how loud you snored beside the bed at night, and how happy you were every night when everyone went up the stairs to the bed room. We will remember how you howled when you were left alone in the house or yard, keeping it up until someone came to get you. We will remember how great you snuggled in the evening, and how much you loved to sort through the toy bin, carefully select the perfect toy, then take them into a corner and shred them. We remember you lined up for your morning and evening pills, taken with peanut butter, you did love a treat.

People ask how we can foster rescued Goldens. They ask us how we can we take them in only to turn them loose? They ask us, "Don't you fall in love with them?" Of course we do, and as they say "If you love something, turn it loose......". We foster orphan dogs to help them find a life that is better than what they had and to give them a second chance. We do it to give them the best that we can as they wait for their Forever Home. Agnes came from the streets of a city where she had been abandoned after her owner found out what was wrong with her and abandoned her at a senior age to fend for herself. All she asked was some love and some understanding. All she asked was a second chance.

We gave Agnes the Forever Home that she wanted so badly. We hope we gave her some wonderful memories, we hope we made her journey a little easier. We hope she knows she was loved.

Below, two more photos of Agnes as she was dried off Saturday.

Mogley G. Retriever

p.s. We should not admit this, but Agnes came out from under her sedative while waiting for the tests to come back at the vets office. There were some snacks left in the lunch room, chocolate candy bars, cookies, doggy treats, etc. Agnes got snacks that most people would never let her have. She loved a snack, any treat was a welcome addition to her day. She went happy.

This is such very sad news. I am so sorry things turned out this way. Our first Golden also had bone cancer; it is so deadly. I don't understand why sweet innocent dogs have to endure something like that; what I absolutely DO know is that Agnes felt safe and LOVED at your house that last week or two of her life. She could not have spent her final days in a better place. She was definitely a special girl and will be remembered. Thank you for giving her so much love and tender care. I believe she died knowing that there are people who really do care.

Mogley & Bella,We are all devastated by this tradgic news. Agnes seemed to be doing so well. There is never a good time for to loose a friend and family member, but during what should be such a joyous season is even more heart wrenching. It matters not that Agnes was a foster. She had a happy home for her final days before crossing The Bridge. You did her well to take such good care of her. We're sure that she will be missed.

The Last BattleIf it should be that I grow frail and weakAnd pain should keep me from my sleep,Then will you do what must be done,For this – the last battle – can’t be won.You will be sad I understand,But don’t let grief then stay your hand,For on this day, more than the rest,Your love and friendship must stand the test.We have had so many happy years,You wouldn’t want me to suffer so.When the time comes, please, let me go.Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend,Only, stay with me ‘til the endAnd hold me firm and speak to meUntil my eyes no longer see.I know in time you will agreeIt is a kindness you do to me.Although my tail its’ last has waved,From pain and suffering I have been saved.Don’t grieve that it must be youWho has to decide this thing to do;We’ve been so close – we two – these years,Don’t let your heart hold any tears.- Anonymous

We are so very sorry to hear this news. God bless you for making Agnes's final days in a loving and caring home.We are sure she knew that her treatment was special.Thank you Mogley & Bella for helping this grand lady.God's speed beautiful Agnes, you had many who loved and cared about you.

This is so sad. We were hoping the last journey was to her furever home. You are so beautiful, so wonderful for caring for these orphans. It is so terrific that she had her final days in such a happy, loving home. So long, Agnes, till we all meet again.

You know what.... I was really upset about Agnes and I don't know why. But then I realized how easily she could have been all alone and had to go through this by herself. But she didn't, because a very special family brought her home and kept her warm and took care of her. So, thank you for making her a part of your family, for keeping her warm and for letting her know how much she was loved.

You all gave Agnes love, the most wonderful gift. If Agnes could talk with words, she might say this.

And if I go, while you are still here. . .Know that I still live on,Vibrating to a different measure,Behind a thin veil that you cannot see through.You will not see me, so you must have faith.I will wait there for the time when we can soar together again.Until then, live your life to the fullest.And when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart. . . I will be there.

You all gave Agnes love, the most wonderful gift. If Agnes could talk with words, she might say this.

And if I go, while you are still here. . .Know that I still live on,Vibrating to a different measure,Behind a thin veil that you cannot see through.You will not see me, so you must have faith.I will wait there for the time when we can soar together again.Until then, live your life to the fullest.And when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart. . . I will be there.

I guess we came back to make sure that this wasn't just a bad dream. It's sometimes hard to let go. Looking into her eyes in her photos makes us feel so close to her. Thank you all for being there for Agnes in her time of need. She might have been abandoned by her owner but thanks to you she wasn't abandoned by humanity. You were her safety net. She left the world loved; she will be missed by someone close to her and by a vast number of us that she never knew.

There are absolutely no words to give to you when you lose someone that you love. To me you are angels. You gave to this dog love and warmth and comfort and a home when the people that she trusted the most threw her out into the streets. There is a special place in heaven for Agnes and a special place in heaven for YOU right next to her.

My heart is so, so sad about her passing but we know how painful bone cancer can be. You did the right thing. Agnes knows that and so do I. Bless you in your time of sorrow.

Agnes, I know you were suffering here on Earth, but you will be alright over the rainbow. No more pain. My momie is holding on to me and crying. We seniors must be special, at least that is what momie tells me. I just wish more people would see it.Lady

AS a family of rescues, we so thank you for the dedication and love that it takes to be a foster family. I have no doubt that Agnes cherished her final days with you and thanks for the kindest gift of all - helping her to the bridge.

Lots of dogs lining up to greet Agnes and welcome her to her new forever home.

Oh, we are so sorry to hear about Agnes. We had been eagerly following her story and so hoping someone would adopt her and give her the love she craved. We are glad she spent her last days with all of you to make her feel special. You are special folks to do what you do.

We were so sorry to read of Agnes' passing. Please take comfort in the fact that because of your love and kindness, her last days were rich with happiness, warmth, new experiences, and fun. Her brief life with you was so full, and what relief she must have felt to be cared for so tenderly by people she trusted when the time came.

Dearest Agnes Golden Angel, your journey on this earth may be over..but a new dawn awaits you at the rainbow bridge, run free sweet girl without pain, knowing you are TRUELY LOVED by so many that you left behind. We will see you again one day and hope you will be there with a stredded toy and howl of gladness.Its not the number of days you spend in this life, but how you spend them. I know that the last ones are the ones you will remember, with Mogley and family being Loved and pampered and being a real GOLDEN. We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certian immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan.Freddie Frankie Molly

Wow. While this is not the happy Christmas ending you wished for Agnes, it is heartwarming to know that, as many others pointed out, Agnes spent the last couple of weeks feeling loved and wanted. We love reading Mogley’s accounts of life with the chauffeur, Bella and the cast of characters that pass through your golden retreat on their way to a new life.

How sad, but how wonderful that you gave Agnes the absolutely best last days a doggie could have. You all certainly make up for the rotten people that left Agnes to fend for herself- how anyone could do that to a beautiful animal is a mystery-thanks so much for being there for her. I hope you have a very lovely holiday.

Khyra sent us over here, after reading our comment on another page. We didn't know Agnes, but now we know that one more dog left us knowing and feeling the loving touch of a family. Thank you so much for what you do. It means more to us that you will probably ever know.

We live in Colorado, too. Near Golden. Early this fall we were at a dog park, talking to the new owner of a recently rescued Golden - from Missouri, heartworm positive. Prior to that conversation, we did not know that GRRR existed. We are so glad that it does. That you do what you do.

Oh we are so sorry. Reading this post about Agnes, all mom could think about was her Golden Honey...cancer progresses so fast...reading and remembering that similar sadness of Honey not wanting to walk, just sitting down... Hearts breaking for these precious goldens that just melt in our hearts. Rest in peace sweet Agnes. Give our Honey a pat, and hug from us! Thinking of all of you.