Uninteresting updates of the creature known as Nicole. Evidence of my geeky insanity.

March 09, 2011

Looks like my daily post prediction was right. I suck at this, aparently.

I started school. Well, I started GED school. I got my GED. I started college.

...I'm a college student. Its not really a big deal, but it still blows my mind. I know, they'll let anyone into college, at least this college, but I really feel good about it.

Winter quarter is almost over, I have a week of classes and a week of finals. I have a 3.4 in English, a 4.0 in First Aid and Anthropology...well we won't talk about Anthropology. My GPA is going to be around 2.5ish. I wish it was higher, but acing 2 of my classes is good enough. I want to get into Pi Theta Kappa (honors society) but I need a 3.5 GPA. I'll do it next quarter. I'm actually feeling really good about my classes, even though Anthropology isn't going great.

Next quarter starts on April 4th. I'll be taking World History, American Sign Language, Yoga and a fitness class. I'm hopeful still, looks like college life hasn't jaded me too much.

November 17, 2010

So I haven't written a blog in a while, so um... Hi again. I guess I'll start by addressing whats really been going on.

My laptop broke. Yep, it's a goner. It actually still works but everytime I turn I feel like it's going to stop working. See, its an HP and sadly, they don't work as well as I'd like. Everytime I turn it on, it gets super hot to the point where it has burned my leg, and melted the case. So I now rely on the computers at college and Jesse's desktop. I guess that attributes to not writing my blog.

I got my GED. I decided I wanted to go to college and before I could do that, I needed my GED. I'm glad I finally did it after years of procrastinating. See, I'm not dumb, I just didn't attend high school enough. It was boring because I already knew all of the material. I didn't do the homework because I felt like all I was doing was repeating myself. So I got kicked out just as I was starting to study for my GED. In September I decided to go to a class to get it again. I was out of the class in two weeks because there was nothing else they could teach me. So I took the test and passed with flying colors. Now I can say I have my GED.

I enrolled in college. I start attending in January but before I do that I have to get ready. I have to take tests in order to see what English and Math classes I can take. Which unfortunately forces me to wait to register. That means by the time I register I won't have much to choose from. The Psychology class I wanted to take in Winter Quarter (January) is already closed and filled in just two days. I'm a little stressed about not taking the classes I want to take, but at least I'll be in college. Assuming I get financial aid or a loan that is. Another thing I've been pretty stressed about. Me starting in Winter Quarter depends on getting money to go. I'm still waiting to see if I'm approved. I wish they'd just tell you right away instead of making you wait until the last minute. If that fails then I'm relying on a student loan which again, I have no idea if I'll get. So there's a lot that I'm pretty stressed about but I'm trying to keep my head above water. I keep telling myself that it's not that big of a deal if I don't get in for Winter but it kinda is for me. Well, here's to hoping everything works out.

July 27, 2010

On June 27th, 2010 the world lost a great man. That man was my Uncle Harold. He passed away after a long battle with multiple health related problems. He was very loved, and still is, but now along with that love, there is a great sadness and sense of emptiness in many people's lives. I have always looked up to him and he remains one of my heroes. He always had a loving, fun presence about him. He was the best card player I have ever seen, and shared that talent with everyone. Pictured above is my Aunt Versa, Harold's wife. They had such a strong marriage and relationship. Rarely do you see a couple as in love as they were. I know that this is a hard time for my Aunt Versa and want to extend my love to her, as well as to my Cousin Michelle and her daughter and son, Jessie and Jake. I miss you all so much and think of you as much as I have been thinking about Uncle Harold.

June 07, 2010

Pride is a weird emotion for me. I've only been proud of other people, never really myself. Maybe its the long-term self loathing, maybe its just my way of making sure I'll always strive for more. Whatever it is, it briefly subsided yesterday. I had just gotten in a lame internet argument (which, I'll point out here, winning an internet argument is like trying to put the milk BACK into the cow's udder. Its not going to happen, yet people still try.) and I was called a lot of harsh things, and threatened, among other things. What surprised me was my emotional reactions to it all. First, I was angry, as I should have been. Next I was amused, which I shared with my wonderful boyfriend and my equally awesome mother. Then I was upset for a few minutes, slightly questioning whether some of the things said were true. Then, I slept. When I woke up the next morning I took all of the harsh words and I let them sink in, and make a home for themselves inside of my heart. As they settled in, I realized how ridiculous they were. I pointed at them and said "Thats not who I am, I don't care how many times someone says it." I thought about what was said to me, I thought about how it might make me look bad to other people. Then I thought about how I've never apologized for who I am. I've never been concerned with what people think of me. I am who I am. These things that were said about me, they didn't change that. I knew that anyone worth having in my life would know it was a bunch of lies. After thinking for a while I was surprised at what I was feeling. I was feeling self-pride. I was proud that I stuck up for myself and didn't back down just because someone threatened me with violence. I was proud that I knew who I was, and that my self-assurance was strong enough that the harshest words didn't shake me. I'm thankful for that fight because I feel stronger than I have in a long time. I feel confident. I know that I am wholly, truly, myself.

May 30, 2010

Ten Years Ago: I was 11. Still hamming it up to any camera within 25 feet. I spent my days in school and then summer came, those days were spent at my uncle's house. Well, more like at my Uncle's pool. He lived a block away so me and my 2 older brothers would walk across the golf course that we all lived on (my family, and my uncle's family) and go swim until our hair turned green (oh the joys of being a blonde).

Five Years Ago: I was 16. Going to school, getting into trouble. I finally discovered Rise Against and I don't remember not having them playing someway. If I was on the computer, I had my headphones on. If I was at school, I had it playing in my head. When I walked to and from school, they were blasting in my ears as I belted out the words, not caring what the passing cars thought.

One Year Ago: Summer in Spokane. My first. Pretty carefree. I don't remember many specific moments, but I had a lot of fun. I felt free, I felt good.

Five Songs I Know All The Words To: 1) Most Rise Against Songs 2) All of The Classic Crime's Albatross 3) Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi 4) Don't Stop Believin by Journey 5) The Big Bang Theory Theme by Bare Naked Ladies

Five Things I Would Do With $100 Million Dollars: 1) Travel, Travel, Travel 2) Buy a new house 3) Shop shop shop (Furniture, New Clothes, Yarn + Knitting Needles, Most of ThinkGeeks products for Jesse and anything else we wanted) 4) Finance it (invest it and pay off Mine and Jesse's debt) 5) Buy new cars for Jesse and I. I'll be getting an old FJ Cruiser and he'll be getting a Cadillac.

Five Biggest Joys: 1) The beach. Everything about the Beach. 2) Being silly with Jesse 3) Being out and about. 4) Getting excited and making things (Knitting, writing, making collages, etc) 5) Geeking out.

May 17, 2010

Okay folks, I'm starting a new project it is this. This is (if you can't see the link) a Star Trek washcloth. I'll be doing it in teal. Pictures of that and my scarf thats about 80% done. I just have to do the last stretch of it.

May 11, 2010

Hey all, I know, its been a while. Today I'll show you what I think are must haves for Fashion! I am trying to keep them on the cheapo because everyone knows that times are tough. I'll be doing a makeup version soon too. Enjoy!

1. The Under TankThese tank tops are great for layering, wearing under sweaters, or even to hide that patterned bra you thought was cute before you tried to wear it under anything. You should get at least a black, white andnude one. If you like to wear them under sweaters opt for more colors. You can get different styles like a racer back, one with thicker straps, shelf bra under, no shelf bra, v-neck, scoop neck. The possibilities are nearly endless. (Tank from Old Navy $7-10)2. The ColorBlock Dress

I love the ColorBlock Dress! I tried one on at Kohl's (these dresses are from Kohl's too!) and fell in love. Mine is by Apt 9. Because they have 2 seperate sections, the possibilities are great. The top is usually a solid color (but as you can see from the top picture, sometimes not) and the bottom is usually a pattern, or more solid colors. They are so cute and they even enhance your bust. Though, mine does minimize my bust, which is amazing considering the size of my boobs! (Dresses by Kohls First is $30 Second is $30 as well)

3. The Graphic Tee/Tank

I love graphic tees. Everyone should have a few. They are cute and as long as they're not too outrageous and cliche, they can be great. These are all from Forever 21. I really like the vintage feel of their graphic tees. If you do too, look at delia's too (First is $11.80. Second is $13.80 and comes in white and a light pink. Third is $10.90. Fourth is $8.80)4. The "Me" HeelOkay, the "Me" heel, as I call it, is any heel that makes you feel your sexiest. For me, those happen to be sexy, dominatrix inspired heels. For you, that may be patent-leather heels. It might be cute pink pumps. Every girl needs a shoe that they can put on and instantly feel sexy. Both of these shoes are from Forever 21 (First is $23.80. Second is $29.80)5. The JeansJeans, Jeans, Jeans. You see them everywhere. There millions of people wearing jeans right now, including me. You need a few good pairs of jeans. A good rule is have a pair you can wear casually (they should be pretty comfortable, they can be bootcut, distressed, etc) , and a pair you can wear to meet your boyfriends parents (like the second pair up there, kinda like jean trousers. They should be relatively light weight and fit great over heels). Both of these pairs of jeans are from Target. First is $16.80. Second is $29.99.

With these essentials, you can begin to build your wardrobe, or even enhance what you already have! You don't have to spend a lot of money for it either. Notice how nothing on this list is over 30 dollars.

April 25, 2010

For the last few weeks (days? months?) I've felt more anger towards the general population than I have in a long time. I feel like I just need to write, and this is where I'm coming to vent my frustration, and my fed-up-ness.

First, I guess I'll start off with whats bugging me most, and then I guess in no particular order.

People who talk shit, and can't handle the outcome, so they attack those I care about.Look, anyone who has ever known me, not even really known me, knows that I speak my mind. I'm not afraid of telling people what I think, I'm not afraid of doing what I want to. I don't worry about offending others. This quality has given me pretty thick skin. So you can go ahead and talk shit about me, I really could care less. But when you start to bring in other people, specifically those who I care about, it's on. Yes, I will hold back until you do that. I'll be nice, because I like to be. Being nice is far superior to being a complete and utter dick about things. Being mean to people isn't really my style. I will tell you harsh truths (which you probably consider mean) but I won't be flat out disrespectful. What I won't do is run scared when you start to attack those I care about and love. This includes most of my family, friends and absolutely includes Jesse and Mom and Dad. This can extend to anyone Jesse cares about, anyone my brothers care about (yes that means you Jessica and Vanessa.) or even can include an innocent person that has done nothing to you. As soon as you start to extend your wrath towards any of those people, I am no longer a nice person. I will break you down as easily as you take a breath. I still won't use gutter tactics, like cursing at you, or calling you out on things that I know aren't your fault (like if someone were to call me out on the color of my eyes). But I will let my mouth (or typing skills) take over, and I will shut off that little switch that lets me filter my thoughts from what I say. So, if you are going to take offense to my harsh truths, and you decide to start a fight/vendetta, I suggest you be man/woman enough to not bring in other people into it. Related, Do not do the above and then expect me to forgive you when you feel guilty/obligated enough to say sorry.

When I say don't talk to me again, or you decide to block me/de-friend/give me the peace of never having to deal with you again, don't expect me to be forgiving when you decide that its time for you to say sorry. I don't really hold grudges, but when it goes so far that I've made up my mind that you are a piece of shit and need to stay away from me, that means you've overstepped my boundaries. What are my boundaries? See above. Here are a few rules: ON THE INTERNET: If you de-friend or block me, I de-friend or block you, or both... the chance of us talking again is slim to none. If you try to add me back, with or without an apology/plea for forgiveness/making yourself look retarded... I will just laugh.Then I will tell Jesse, and he will laugh, then I'll tell my wonderful Mom and she will laugh. IN PERSON: This is probably the best way to get me to forgive you, and even then, its pretty slim, if you've done the above. I will most likely hear you out (ie, space off while you spew bullshit) and then I will smile and say something along the lines of "Oh, sorry, but no." In a very sarcastic/cynical voice.

People that can't keep their legs closed.

Please keep in mind, I have nothing against you if you can take care of your children. I have nothing against people who got pregnant on accident (by this I mean that they were using a birth control method, and it failed by something other than USER error), I have nothing against rape victims, I have nothing against domestic violence victims, etc. What I cannot stand is people that continue to get pregnant/have children that they just abort give up for adoption, give to parents/grandparents/siblings/anyone they can pass them of to. I understand, sex is a primal thing, you wanted to have it. What I don't understand it why in the world you wouldn't use at the LEAST a condom. You can get them for free at most clinics/planned parenthood/doctors offices. Better yet, most states have a system in place where you can get free birth control. Hell, you could get a shot in your arm and not have to worry about it for a YEAR. Don't continue to have children you don't want/can't take care of. When you can take care of them, go ahead and have one, or two, or 12. It really doesn't make a difference to me, as long as you can take care of them.

People that ask me when I'm getting married/when I'm having kids.The answer will always be the same: Marriage: probably never, possibly in the not at all near future. Kids: Definitely never. Yes, I'm a woman. No, I am not like every woman. I do not fantasize about getting married. I do not dream of walking down the isle in a white dress. I don't like kids (with few few exceptions, most of them being my fantastic cousins). I don't want kids. I do everything to make sure I don't become pregnant. I'm not sorry if that hurts you, or if it disappoints you. This is my life, and I will live it like I want to. This does not mean I hate your children. This does not mean that I hate you for wanting that lifestyle. As I am allowed to live my life how I want to, so are you. If you take care of your kids well, and have a great marriage, it is likely that I admire you. (I'm looking at you Lisa! :D) I admire that you have the time and capacity of love for that kind of life. Chances are, if you take care of your kids well, I like them. A child is only as well behaved as they are taught to be. I like well behaved children. Hell, I like children that don't scream their heads off, don't run around defying everything everyone says and know the meaning of "listen". People that try to make my relationship with Jesse their business. If you ask me about it, and I tell you about it, you are fine here. I talk about it (to an extent) to my family. My Mom, Dad, and brothers have the right to know if I'm safe. Not because they're family, but because I know they care. However, it is still a private relationship. They all know my boundaries, and they respect them (thank you guys). The following pretty much doesn't even apply to them: I will not talk about what goes on in my relationship. You don't deserve to know specifically how we feel about each other. You don't need to know about what goes on in our house. Therefore, when you try and make judgement about me, him, or us, using our relationship as a board to stick the nail in.. you will have no idea what you're talking about. We are not the typical couple, you can't make assumptions about us. When you try to tell me that Jesse has no backbone and I am "freeloading" off of him, you obviously don't fall into the category of people that I talk to about those kinds of things. To be clear on this ONE subject/accusation: Jesse invited me to live here with him. We discussed things thoroughly before I even bought my ticket here. We both knew it would be difficult for me to find a job. See, not being a Washington Citizen, not having much previous job experience, not having enough qualifications is pretty hindering in this tough economy. If you want to accuse me of that, you should probably talk to Jesse first. I can guarantee that he is a strong enough person to not let anyone freeload off of him or use him. My advice for you: In order to not look like an idiot, don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong.People (person) that are too afraid of their best friend to admit that he's friends with his sister. :)

I have one of the best set of friends a girl could have. One of those people includes one of my brothers friends. Over time I've gotten to know Matt, one of my brothers friends. This is me telling Matt that Ray isn't going to be mad that we're friends. I promise. Okay so I'm not all ranty about this. Its more of a joke than anything else. But yeah, Hi Ray. Hi Matt! Haha.

Okay, time for me to go to bed now. I'm getting way to tired to keep typing coherently.

I love the detachable brush, but I'm not sure I'll use it. Maybe when I'm out and about, but otherwise I'll use my foundation brush I'm sure. I haven't tried it out much but I think it'll be much better than the NYC sticks that I was using. (Yeah, yeah, don't hate. If I had a job I'd buy better things, but for now Jesse is stuck with supporting my makeup habit!)