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Monday, January 2, 2012

Things that made you say......

WTF! 2011 wrap up of the shit that made you go hmmmmm? Some of the items placed on the list are new and some are oldies but goodies pulled from my past WTF Friday list with current snit bits made today {in red}. Let's call it a little bit of a yearly let's bitch it out wrap up. I thought it would be fun to look back. I know that I am late but you know what...Who The F*ck cares.......

I saw this yesterday while shopping in downtown SF - BTW NY day is the best day to shop all the peeps that got shit faced drunk the night before are too hungover to leave homes. Easy access to stores and no crowds = bliss. I want to slap people who leave their house in pajamas. I swear this chick yesterday was in her pj's, ugly robe and f*uckin crocs - I HATE CROCS HATE THEM! I know their are peeps out there that love these plastic boats with holes. I know their supposed to be super comfy but they are UGLYand their are allot of other more attractive comfy shoe options out there that are not made of ugly color plastic and make your feet look like Fred Flinstones ...Do you hear me Mario Batali? These are ok for the kitchen not for events. Look at the chic well dressed man to your left he is an executive chef and knows how to do it right.

When I say I do not want to do a play date this week because my child is a drooling, crying, teething mess and mommy is a b**** on wheels because she has had no sleep....respect my wishes and don't hang up the phone on me because it was not what you wanted to hear....Yeah uh-huh.....this actually happened!

OK someone needs to put a warning on the damn boxes of any type of toaster strudel/popt tart{I don't usually make this kind of thing for bkfast} but a teething baby required drastic measures. I burnt the crap out of my hand- the oozing glaze captured my fingers and would not let go...it hurt so friggin bad.....

Vampire arrest sparks discussion on pop culture - so this guy in Houston breaks into a woman's house and tries to suck her blood of course this sparked the stupid debate on how vampire books have an impact on our culture...listen the twilight "tween novels" did not make this guy go NUTS he was nuts in the first place. It is the same BS they tried to spin with horror movies in the late 70's early 80's. When your nuts your nuts..listening to a certain type of music, watching a certain type of movie or reading vampire novels {if your a normal person} does not make you want to go suck someone neck for blood. When your a loon bag it does...Capiche?

Baby sitter in Florida was charged with child neglect after being accused of allowing an infant to ride in the bed of a pick up truck in a stroller....Ohhh this is the kicker.... get this one when she was arrested she did not know why having a baby in the back of a truck in a Istroller was wrong{the baby 8 months}. If you were taking care of my child and you did this I would have had to slap the stupid out of her!

I know that legs look incredible in high heels but is it really necessary to sport 4 inch stilettos at the pool? You look like assholes - just added that bit today!

Pick up your dog crap.....How friggin hard is that people! You know those little blue bags the parks supply for FREE use them. And don't think that you pretending to be on your phone is an excuse because I will interrupt that conversation with yourself .....quickly if your dogs shit is not picked up!

Dear Tom Brady I know that Gisele Butthead Bundchen has you by the B-A-L-L-S but can you please do something with that greasy mane that you call hair? it is looking kinda of nasty. Can you also duck tape her mouth when it comes to the following subjects - Breastfeeding, potty training your 6 month yr old {yeah right} and anything to do with other women's pregnancy. OK you know what just tell her to STFU once in awhile

What was I thinking when I decided to give my toddler a marshmallow and having it be OK to have her wander the house with it. Sticky madness everywhere. I had to DE marshmallow my dogs today. Ever try getting that stuff of of fur...NO BUENO

WTF is up with people who think and need to be perfect? No one is perfect. And please stop telling people you are perfect...it is super annoying and most of us want to beat ourselves with a stick to stop the pain

I watched Toy Story 3 now I think that all the toys have feelings so every time I pass my daughters stuffed animals I think they are "alive". I seriously should look into some medication

Dear Furry Monkey Numero 2 I love you to death but next time you decide to eat cat poop and come back in the house and lick my face you will get clocked in the snot...No matter how damn cute you are

Holy shit - the gym is actually working I looked in the mirror - thought some weird piece of whatever was sticking out from behind my work out pant leg so in my drama nature I started freaking out...My hubby was like "Honey.....you are fine.....uhmmm that is your hamstring muscle .....WTF I have never had one of those before!

Heelllooooo.....gentlemen were have your manners gone? You slamming the door in the poor old ladies face was not cool that is why your received the wrath of mommy bags you douche...oh yes I let the little skater boy have it - No apologies will be made either!

OK I am not pushing drugs folks so let's not get our panties in a bunch but damn California leave the friggin medical marijuana peeps alone. It is a herb I know friggin drug companies that are pushing pills that are way more dangerous than pot is. My mom went through cancer and the little she did use helped her get through some really heavy days. Why don't you put your time and energy on going after the child molesters, rapists and murderers that are running around in the streets.

Yep other peeps were probably saying WTF when they saw my little toddler girl sitting at the bar chugging her cranberry juice it not a big deal. Hanging out before our table was called at a place were I know the peeps - put the phone down no need to dial CPS.

WTF did you think was going to happen - rumors are that the double K duo are already having marriage trouble. Gosh darnit that sure is a shocker! I thought they would be together 4Ever....Mwahhhhhh - Shit I gave it 6 months when the first married little did we know it would be a mere 72 days

That is all for now folks WTF Friday will be back - regular bat time and regular bat channel

9 comments:

A few days ago I saw a woman my age walking around wearing bright ass crocs. Not only is that terrible, but she had the little charms or whatever in them and I wanted to be like, "what the fuck are you thinking when you put those on?". The only people that look cute in crocs are 4 year old girls.

And I always have to put Cash's toys away together so that way one isn't singled out and lonely. Damn you Toy Story!