Raging bulls

Fox News called it “Rush Replay.” The GOP News Network rebroadcast — in it’s entirety — Rush Limbaugh’s keynote address to the Conservative Political Action Conference — or as he referred to it, his first address to the nation.

This was after Rushlicans showered him with the Defender of the Constitution Award. There were moments when the crowd started yelling “USA! USA!” as if everyone not associated or supportive of their demogoguewereFrench or something. Didn’t people do this sort of thing in Munich in the 1930s?

Meglomania on display. A demogogue defending democracy. Jabba the Butt bellowed that “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were under assault.” He could’ve been talking about himself at that moment. But there was plenty of time for that — a lot of his speech was about himself and how everybody who doesn’t follow his every word is somehow brainwashed by liberals who want to kill babies, marry someone of the same sex, and confiscate Dick Cheney’s guns.

There was nothing new in Jabba the Butt’s repulsive rhetoric. His Snarkiness spewed things like “I don’t give other people the power to criticize me.” Sig-heil!

Then he really began to lie. The man who said he wanted President Obama to fail said “we (Republicans) don’t want anybody to fail.” Then he went on to compare wanting Obama to fail to his wanting the Arizona Cardinals to fail because he’s a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Huh? Oh, maybe QB Kurt Warner’s game plan resembled Obama’s stimulus plan and that sack at the end of the game was a metaphor as to why no Republicans in Congress voted for it. The GOP must stand for God Obliges Pittsburgh.

Jabba the Butt then got patronizing — for a few seconds anyway — when he praised Obama as “a gifted politician.” That was enough of that. He went on to say that the president is too negative. Again, huh? Did the leader of the Republican Party actually listen to Obama speak before the joint session of Congress last week. He was so overly-optimistic he said we were going to cure cancer. First he’s gonna get everybody jobs, then health care, and after that he’s going to catch bin Laden andturn Afghanistan into a tourist trap. Then it’s on to the Cleveland Clinic for some medical miracles.

The smary obstructionist is indeed the GOP’s head honcho. Poor Michael Steele — the first African-American elected as the Republican National Committee Chairman is, sadly, the GOP’s token Negro. He’s powerless. Jabba the Butt is the defender of the Constitution after all. Michael Steele is out there on a suicide mission trying to imspire young people who dig hip-hop to hop over to the GOP, where, in reality, hip is only used when one of the party’s lifelong money contributors has to have one replaced.

News organizations smell a war of words and egos and images brewing between Obama and Limbaugh. Game on. This time you can tell the players by their scorecards. Obama has had a good track record when picking his fights. Jabba is a junkyard dog. So whose got the advantage? Jabba the Butt has millions of listeners who can’t think for themselves, and Obama-won Kanobe leads a party that doesn’t necessarily run from a fight as much as it tends to forfeit. Wait, those are disadvantages.

Jabba vs. Obama, the fight of the new century — fifteen rounds.

The Thrilla vs. Vanilla.

The Kid with Hope versus the Great White Dope.

Round one was a draw. Lots of name-calling and show-boatin.’ Let’s get down to business —time for the kid gloves to come off. We wanna see who’ll drop faster than the Dow Jonesto the canvass.

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