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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I have really tried to buckle down today and get some work done. Luckily I had a little presentation to do at a lunch meeting, so that was a nice break. Other than that, I've been chained to my desk. I have a doctor appointment later this afternoon to beg for some antibiotics. I have the beginnings of a sinus infection and I'll be damned if I let it keep me from partying this weekend!

One of my staff just brought me a piece of this lovely blueberry cream cheese jelly roll cake. I guess this will be my non-paleo meal for today. It's so good. Mmmmm.

Also, I just have to brag on my little guy for a minute. For anyone that doesn't know the story, I had severe preeclampsia with my second pregnancy and he was delivered 7 weeks early at just 3lbs 3oz. He's taken some time catching up, but at 21 months he's finally walking a bit and starting to say some intelligible words! He's a little thing -- only 23 lbs still. It is amazing think of him so tiny you could barely tell you were holding anything and now to see him climbing up into his booster by himself and hugging the cat (even though he calls them dogs) and saying "hello" and "night-night" and "mama!" And he sleeps all night to boot!

I cannot concentrate on anything. I won't even say what I'm supposed to be doing... Instead I am making a packing list for this weekend! I told myself I wasn't going to go crazy this time, but of course, I will probably pack too much anyway.

My throat is scratchy. :(

Quick poll: Do you guys think it's crazy if I donate blood tomorrow? I figure I'll be sitting on a train for six hours on Thursday if I happen to feel a bit off from it. What do you think?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Well, I think I am finally done shopping for Chicago. I still need to get my pants hemmed. I actually bought a dress today, but I'm not sure if I'm going to wear that or pants. Decisions, decisions! I have a crap-ton of work to do next week, and a couple of difficult meetings to attend. Come Thursday, I'll be ready to get out of dodge! It can't come fast enough!

1. If you were a character on Friends, who would you be and why?

Chandler. He's such a goof. I don't really identify with any of the girls, so Chandler it is. Maybe with a bit of Monica thrown in.

2. If you weren't in your current career what other career do you think you would have done?

Interior design or something more creative like that. I actually started out college in an architecture program, but I ultimately decided I was not artsy-fartsy enough and didn't fit in.

3. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 6?

A fashion designer!

4. Do you think everyone only has one soulmate or true love? Or are there multiple people for everyone?

I think there are more than one. I think there are many people who can fill that spot in your heart -- all in different ways. Sometimes your soulmate might not even be a romantic partner. For example, I have a friend who I consider a soulmate -- we used to say that we got eachother so well because all of our shit fit together. I don't know.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

I've been neglecting my blog this week and you know what that means. I've not been doing too well this week. I can't even go there right now.

In real life, well, you know. I'm tired, cranky, and for the life of me I cannot figure out why I don't get cramps until the 4th day of my period. WTF?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Biggest Loser started tonight! Who's watching? Hubs and I cannot tear ourselves away from this show, which is funny because I never paid attention to the first 7 or 8 seasons.

I carbed out a bit today. Nothing crazy... just enough to keep myself from going into full-blown binge mode. The dangers of being on the rag, you know. By the way, hubs and I have come up with a new name for it. Lately, my allergies have been acting up a lot, and I randomly seem to sneeze a lot right when my period starts (I doubt they are related -- it's got to be some weird coincidence), thus, ...wait for it... RAGWEED SEASON! You know you can always count on me for a good period euphemism!

Anyway, I actually got cramps this month, so I'm thinking there will no Crossfit for me tomorrow night. All I need is to lose a tampon while Okay, I was about to go down a very gross road there. Reign it in, Maria! Sorry gals, I'm still not getting enough sleep.

Speaking of sleep... Moms, please. What do you do with a 3 year old who has become a champion bedtime staller? I am so over it I could just cry. We have a pretty good routine: snack, bath & teeth, pajamas, books, tuck-in and one more story, then good night. Lately, she starts crying anywhere from 15-30 minutes later saying she wants to come out to the living room or something is scaring her or blah blah blah. I don't give in, but it takes me sometimes another 20 minutes to get her calmed down and tucked in again. On top of that, she seems to wake up at 2:30 am quite a bit. It's always 2:30 -- I wish I knew what the hell was waking her up! At that point in time, more often than not, I let her go out to the couch and sleep. Sometimes we put a movie on, sometimes she just goes to bed. I know I should be tougher, but consider I live in a 900 square foot house with another toddler sleeping across the hall!

So that's me right now. Ragweed season, no sleep, blah.

One more thing... what does one wear to a drag show? I need to go shopping for Chicago!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Oh people, I am in need of a serious ass-kicking. I binged like no other this weekend. Maybe it's the beginnings of PMS, maybe it's because hubs went up north fishing and I was fending for myself with the kids, who knows? All I know is that it happened, and it's over, and the scale was not happy with me this morning. 207. I know. I'm sure I can pee some of that out, but I really gotta push now, if I'm going to be solidly under 200 by Chicago.

11 more days. I must be crazy. Shitballs, I'll settle for being closer to 200 than to 210.

So, have any of you met the foam roller at the gym? This innocent-seeming instrument of torture is my new favorite thing. Find it, try it, love it. I've been rolling out my quads like crazy after I lift, and it makes a huge difference in my DOMS level the next day. I also have been getting over myself and trying other new things. Like the dip/pullup assist machine. Since I can only do Crossfit once a week, I need to work on those moves a little more. I have to set the damn thing to 160lbs before I can get myself up there, but whatev. All in time. I also am making friends with the rower, and me likey a lot. My gym is having a little rowing contest right now to see who can get the best time on a 1000m row -- prizes for each age group. Right now I'm in second place by 4 seconds for women 35-40. You can enter as many times as you want, so you can bet your bippy I'll be beating that time!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A giant thanks to our lovely Jen for my new blog look! What do you guys think?

In other news, I attempted to Crossfit yesterday after work. This was after a night of minimal sleep and a day of only liquids. I totally pussed out. When I read the WOD, I just knew I wasn't going to be able to do it, so I got her to scale it back for me a little. Even then, I only managed 4 out of 6 rounds. I thought I was going to puke, and I really did not want to do that on top of a fresh fill. It was still a good workout though -- good enough that I ripped some skin off my palm on the pull-up bar! Badass!

Yesterday when I weighed, the scale showed 201.1. That is an incredible new low for me. Today though, I popped back up to 203. I know it's because I just had to have a fruity post-workout shake at 8:30pm. Yesterdays number shows that I am getting close! I really want to be at 195 by Chicago, and I know I can do it!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

We made a double recipe and froze it (with the cornbread uncooked). If you go that route, it took about 50 minutes at 425 degrees to cook all the way through. It is our favorite dinner -- I could eat it all the time!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

That is the question. (I'm feeling oh so original tonight. Cantcha tell?)

I have an appointment with my surgeon tomorrow morning, and I'm not really sure what I want to do. On one hand, I feel like I have pretty good restriction as far as my breakfast and lunch portion, but at dinner I can really put down some volume. On the other hand, I'm not losing despite logging, exercise, cutting carbs, etc.

What makes me want a fill? Well, a little more control for one. When I was losing 10lbs a month like a rockstar, I was unable to eat solids before 11am-ish. These days, I'm wolfing down bacon and eggs at 8am. Hell, I ate a plum this morning -- with the skin on! Unheard of!

What makes me not want a fill? Travel. I'm not worried about Chicago -- since I'll be surrounded by like-minded people, who cares if I barely eat anything or happen to get stuck? Two weeks later, however, I'm flying to Virginia for my cousin's wedding, and two weeks after that I'm flying to St. Louis for a conference. I haven't actually flown anywhere since I got my band, so I have no idea how it will actually affect me. I am confident that I can handle a bit of tightness though -- at least I can go prepared.

I have no intention of having him fill me back up to 1.6ccs. I'm at about 1cc now, so I figure maybe 1.3 would do the trick. I know all you 10cc band owners are thinking WTF!?!?! But yeah, I have a 4cc Allergan band, and have never tolerated more than 2ccs in it. Guess I never have to worry about being topped out, eh? Maybe I shouldn't jinx myself.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

I'm having a bit of a tantrum right now. In my head. From the outside it just looks like I'm enjoying a glass of wine and a piece of cake, but from the inside, well, just picture a toddler stamping and flailing and screaming. It's never pretty.

Why do we do these crazy things? Why, when I know it's going to mean bad things for the scale in the morning and bad things for the various metabolic processes in my body, why am I still doing it? Why sabotage? Why have I not yet let go of comforting myself with food? There, I said it. I still turn to food for comfort. Why? In general I feel like I'm in a pretty good place. I've had a stressful week, but I can usually get past that sort of thing. So why? Because it was there? Leftover from the tater tot's birthday party? I don't have the answers. I don't think I ever will. But I'm ok with that, because as long as I never stop trying, there is still some glimmer of hope and sanity.

So what am I doing to get past it this week? Refocus on the paleo, baby. I read an interesting article from the Crossfit journal about the Zone diet, and how you can adapt it to paleo or whatever. I just need to pay a little more attention to meal planning this week and bring a little more creativity to the table. The Zone blocks that are laid out in this article may be a tool for me to do this.

What else? Well, I'm planning on going to Crossfit again Wednesday night. I'll try to hit the gym at least two other times too. Most of all, I will try not to be a total stressball at work this week. Perhaps a noon walk would be in order. At least some fresh air.

Friday, September 9, 2011

I really surprised myself at Crossfit this week. People, I did 30 box jumps. In a row. And I front-squatted 65lbs. Yes! I love it! It was definitely the high point of my week.

Now on to the Crazy

1. Do you drink coffee? Decaf or regular? Cold or hot? If not – what’s your go-to morning drink?

Sometimes. More lately. Decaf for the most part. Mostly hot, but sometimes cold. Lately I've been hitting St*rbucks a little too much. I wouldn't say I have a particular go-to in the morning, but I've been enjoying some San Pellegrino with sugar-free hazelnut syrup in the afternoons on occasion.

2.
What are your top six characteristics in a partner if you could hand
pick them. And just for kicks – if you’re in a relationship – after you
make the list of six – does the person you are with possess all five?

I'm horrible at making these kinds of lists. And I'm really tired, so I'm copping out on this one.

3.
I’m going to pick a person – not knowing if this person even exists in
your life – and you try to describe this person in 5 short words or
sentences:

Paternal grandfather

I never knew him -- he died when my dad was only eleven years old. Neither he nor my grandma ever talked much about him, so I sadly don't even know five things about him.

4.
What’s your signature item? Color? Piece of clothing or jewelry?
Accessory? You know – that one thing people know you will ALWAYS have
on?

I need a signature piece! My signature item of clothing has always been this gray hooded sweater -- I actually wore it at BOOBs last year. Well, it's been retired. You can't really shove yourself into a sweater at 275 and expect it to still look nice at 205. Jewelry-wise, I always have on my Italian horn and my cross on a white gold chain. And besides my wedding rings, that's about it.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog life.

In real life, things have been nutso. I've barely slept more than 4 hours a night all week. It was party because of a sick kiddo and partly because we kept losing power. Being so tired has really left me annoyed with some wo/rk drama. I'm usually a little better at letting things just roll off. I will hopefully be able to relax this weekend.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Man, I cannot even remember the last time I blogged! It's been a whirlwind week.

Anywhoooooze, Week 1 Paleo wrapup first. It went ok. Stress got the best of me later in the week and I resorted to some carby comfort foods. It was a good start though, and I'm still down to 203.8 from 206.4. Things I need to do better: Plan lunches and snacks. Good things? I did not get my mid-afternoon slump, and my energy levels were way up, even from a few days of quality eating.

Saturday I went to my first official CrossFit workout. I have two words for you: Holy. Shit. My core was so sore from bear crawls that it pretty much hurt to breath for two days. Seriously, I couldn't even sleep flat that night. Other than that, I am totally pumped about it. I'm going to go every Wednesday night, and hopefully some Saturdays too. Whee!

Refocus for the week: tightening up the eating and back to paleo.

Today's food...

Breakfast: 3pc bacon, coffee with cream

Snack: 2 celery sticks with almond butter

Lunch: leftover chicken and veggie kabob

Snack: handfull of almonds

Dinner: chicken, sweet potato

My band is super tight today... we had a few hot days late last week, and I'm still feeling it. I had actually planned on more food than this, but I just couldn't fit it in.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

So, it's day 4. If you've peeked at my food log, you might have noticed that I went off the rails a little bit yesterday to the tune of 8 pieces of saltwater taffy and some potatoes. I have promised myself that as long as the scale was moving or the inches are disappearing, I'm not going to push myself to be 100% perfect. Brush it off, and get back on the horse.