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“I’m worried.” “I’m scared.” “It’s not going to happen.” What we tell ourselves comes true. So why do we keep saying these things?

To avoid disappointment?

If we don’t expect to get something, then we won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t happen. So it’s easier to tell ourselves it’ll never happen or we don’t deserve it.

Does not being afraid make us face the unknown and the uncertain?

Fear is a sneaky thing. It tiptoes in with a few doubts or points out a few new things we need to learn, and the next minute we find ourselves frozen in fear and uncertainty about our ability to proceed.

Has fear become a habit?

I have a friend whose conversation is filled with “I don’t know how.” “I’m scared to do that.” “I’m worried.” One time the statement was even that she was worried that her dog was worried.

And of course, what you tell yourself becomes your life experience.

Your words become a fulfilling affirmation

As this self-doubt increases, her ability to function lessens. She truly cannot learn new things. She truly cannot figure out things. She shuts down at the mere idea of learning something new and is so filled with the belief she can’t do something that she truly can’t.

What we tell ourselves becomes our reality

“I’m smart, I’m beautiful, I’m clever, I’m …” If you feel it, you will be it. You can change your life by changing your thoughts. What thoughts are you giving yourself every day?

Your Inner Garden

We grow our life in our inner world, our inner garden. We can sow ideas of doubt or seeds of encouragement. We can sow seeds of hope and expectations. We can cultivate crops of anger and hatred or love and empathy. It’s our choice. Our inner world. Our crop – to plant, to care for, to feed and to harvest.

Our choice. Our seeds. Our harvest.

Begin by noticing

Notice your words. Notice your thoughts. Are they positive? Or negative? Consciously begin to correct your thoughts and words and turn them into positive affirmations.

Notice the results and keep making changes

Notice how worry affects your body – your back, your muscles, your headache. Physical manifesting begins in your mind, and it can be changed simply by changing what you put in your mind, what beliefs and thoughts you plant in your inner garden.

If you’re not getting the results you want in your life, go work on your inner garden and see what you’ve planted and what crops you’re growing and what weeds you need to pull out.

Do you have a fear of exploring, of trying something new?

Life is one big constantly changing cycle, so the more you learn to adjust and adapt and roll with the changes, the more positive will be your life experience. Exploring something new is like opening the door to take a breath of fresh air. It offers a new view, a new perspective, and new opportunities. Change is super good!

“I’m scared to death,” she said. “I’m worried” “I can’t do that.” I don’t know how to…” You get the picture. Our belief system dictates our outcome because it dictates our choices. If we believe we can’t do something, chances are we don’t even try. If we believe our work is not important, we may not be as productive or put it out in as much volume as we might.

Beliefs can be insidious

“Insidious” means subtle but in a hurtful way. The subtle part is tricky because sometimes we don’t even know we have the beliefs. In a recent shamanic journey, I found I had a limiting belief that my work didn’t matter very much.

I love doing it. I thought I did a good job. But I didn’t have the feeling that it made much difference in the overall scheme of things.

The outcome of that belief was that I have a hard time completing things, putting covers on completed books and actually putting them on Amazon.

It’s much safer, easier and more fun, just to sit here and explore with my mind. It was not the actual doing of the work it takes to put it out the door that was limiting me, it was the belief that what I had to offer didn’t matter.

Subtle. Insidious. Hurtful.

How do you identify your limiting beliefs?

To find and release my limiting beliefs, I take a shamanic journey. I go within my imagination and ask my helping spirits to show me these limiting beliefs. I usually get an answer. Then it’s up to me to figure out how to yank that limiting belief out of my inner garden, the place where I grow my hope and crops and yes, also the weeds of limiting beliefs.

Sometimes, in my imagination, I bury that limiting belief. Sometimes I wash it away or let the wind carry it off. Use your imagination to release the limiting beliefs you identify.

Some limiting beliefs are given to you by others

“You can’t do that.” “You’ll never make that happen.” “The chances of doing that are slim.”

Who knows why people say these things to each other! Perhaps because it looks hard to them. Perhaps because they have no vision or no passion. Perhaps because of their own limiting beliefs.

We’re given body suits in order to express certain aspects of ourselves and we’ve been given the gifts to make that happen. Open your gift box and see what’s there. It may be a talent, a skill, a way with people, a passion for something. We all have gifts. But not all of us use them.

Believe you have important gifts. Look for them. Then add them to your life in a way that shares your gift with others.

Look closely at how you define words that guide you. You may subconsciously be stopping yourself from moving forward. My friend was fighting the idea of structure. And I wondered if the resistance came from how he defined the word.

If you really are a free spirit, structure may feel confining. However, if you are a free spirit you probably need some structure. Hmm.

Structure is about relationship

Structure is the relationship between the parts or elements of something complex. Relationship. How they work together. How they support each other. What is needed and what is not.

When something has many moving parts, (like an idea), you have to make up some boundaries, some sort of categories, in order to bring the pieces into a manageable size. Organizing many things into a few categories helps you see the overview. And that helps in creating a workable end result.

Why do you need structure?

A structure holds things together. A structure holds things up. We need the support of structure in our life. A structure can be loose or tight. A loosely structured day is free-flowing and open to change. You may not accomplish what you thought you would, but in the relaxed structure of your day, you may have discovered something that opens a new door.

The work world thrives on structure, hierarchy likes leaders and teams and levels of responsibility. Even an entrepreneur has to find ways to wear every hat at one time or another and that means learning to work within several levels of structure.

You learn through structure. You are productive through structure.

Structure does not need to be confining

The structure of my home keeps me safe. The structure of my day – as in sleeping and eating at regular times – keeps me healthy. We need the support of structure in our life.

It is important to know how much structure you can handle. Before I retired, there was the structure of coaching appointments and posts to write. I had outside influence on what I needed to put into my day.

Now that I’m retired, I get to choose. I find two posts and one newsletter a week to be comfortable and still give me time and energy to toss in a few other creative projects, particularly when those projects have no timeline. So I commit to that basic output and make it happen.

When I enrolled in a long-term course of study on shamanism, I was able to keep that schedule but other things I’d added, like vLogs and podcast, went on hold. There is give and take in structure.

What do you want to accomplish? What brings you joy? Make that a cornerstone of your structure.

Structure brings clarity

You have to structure your ideas so others can hear what you have to say.

Let’s say I want to write a post. I have to choose one point to make. That becomes my structure. The boundary. The confines of what I will write.

I build ideas and explanations around that one idea. I choose only what will clarify and support the main idea I want to convey. Nothing else belongs in the structure of that post.

This post began because a friend was fighting structure. And I wondered how that applied to my life and yours.

The core purpose defines the structure.

Structure brings boundaries

The boundaries that a consciously chosen structure brings are a good thing. If I didn’t limit the topic and purpose of this post, I would be all over the place. Not a good thing.

If I were teaching a course, I would have to consider the boundaries of time agreed upon and the level of the students. Those boundaries are then built into the structure of what I present.

As I increase my personal spiritual work, I face the boundary of time, so I have to pick and choose how much time I’ll spend and what exactly it is I’ll do. Boundaries call for structure and structure creates boundaries.

Structure illuminates chaos

I’m redoing the template that helps me format my e-books. I’m making decisions and choices that will affect every e-book I write from here on out. But once this template is made, once this structure is created, I’m set. My books will look nice, they will come together quickly, and be easy to publish. All because I created a structure that serves as the foundation.

Structure will change as you become more skilled

I’ve written books in Pages. Then I learned Scrivener. Then I learned iBooks Author and now I’m back to Pages. But I had to do all that exploring in order to understand what I needed and what I did not. My move back to Pages came because of the discovery of one program, a grammar checker called Grammarly That has become a very important step and it’s easier to take from Pages. Your choices will change as you increase your skills and your structure will probably simplify as you need less outside support.

Keep the structure light

Too much structure means you have too many restrictions. Not enough structure means your house will fall down. You have to find a balance between what’s needed in the project and what you need for your freedom of expression.

Look closely at the idea of structure and make certain it’s not stopping you. At the same time, make certain you have enough structure to get the job done.

Look closely at how you define words that guide you. You may subconsciously be stopping yourself from moving forward

Does the size of the crowd you draw to your work indicate the depth of its value? No. A big resounding “no.” Our true value is not measured in book sales or crowd sizes, promotions received or money made. The sole value of our work is in the depth of the impact it makes, the lives it changes. When your idea “turns the page” for someone, or gives them courage, or opens up new insights and encourages them to make new choices – and they take action – that’s when you change lives.

One life changed is a major impact

You’ve touched and changed more lives than you know. A smile when a person was sad, words of recognition of the spark someone shows, simply being in someone’s life as support. There are so many ways we have impact that seem to be unimportant because we don’t see how far-reaching our impact is.

The difference between process and purpose

I recently did a shamanic journey to discover my Soul’s Purpose. My partner in the shamanic course we’re both taking did that same journey for me too. We both got versions of the same theme but I realized that mine was more about my process while hers was about my overarching purpose.

We need to be aware of both. We need to understand our overarching purpose and then make certain the process we choose is supporting that.

My process is to explore the unseen world, write about what I discover and share it where others can find it. My purpose is to help someone brighten the light they bring to the world.

We all want to change hearts

Whatever the form our giving takes, we do it because we’re called to express ourselves in a particular manner and we want it to contribute in some way to the lives of others.

The person who builds homes helps build a family. The person who stocks shelves helps feed a family, as does the farmer and trucker and… We all have far-reaching impact. We just have to realize it.

Begin with the way you do your work

If you continually do your best work, are your best self and keep encouraging yourself to evolve, you’ll deepen your service. I have to write what I write and I have to share it, whether anyone reads it or not.

I hope they do. Actually, I know they do. I hope they find themselves changed, but my need to do this work is absolute.

I hear the stories of musicians who sing in any venue to any size crowd for years just so they can be heard. Then they go on to win The Voice.

There’s the African war orphan who saw a picture of a ballerina and knew that was what she needed and wanted to be, even though she didn’t know what it was. She was the last to be adopted in her orphanage but the woman who adopted her helped her realize her dream.

Michaela DePrince went from war orphan to major ballerina. The women who helped her had no idea how far-reaching her impact was when she helped this young girl realize her potential.

We don’t always get to impact a life in such a profound manner. But then, we never know, do we?

There are so many stories of people being changed by a mentor. Sometimes it’s that they were inspired by a person’s work, sometimes it’s something someone said or did in ordinary life. Inspiration and the power to change are everywhere in every moment.