Are You Too Needy in Your Relationship?

7/15/2013 12:54PM

Everyone is emotionally needy sometimes, but some are more needy than others. Elizabeth Bernstein joins Lunch Break to explain, and Randy and Janet Brown discuss how different attachment styles almost ruined their marriage.

This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.

... I ... so needy ... will these for the ... three words that one of Elizabeth Bernstein oldest and best friends used to describe her recently and it ... inspired the writers latest bond's relationship column for The Wall Street Journal she's here right now to talk about it ... and what it means to be needy and what tactics couples aren't going to feel more secure joining her ranking Janet Brown they have their ... own expansive they share with is well thank so much to all of you for being with us was that ... I wanna start with you because it was your own experience it's for triggered this this column ... experts say it is kind of inhumane nature to beat me in relationships what they mean by that ... I it's a biological need it to evolutionary needed built into our psyche Irving human had to ... buy and we had to get together and ate together in order to survive that fit the very strongly that we all have liked to have our emotional needs met either people ... to be strongly connected ... now many you say that this media storm started it out of control in some ways ... in your marriage with you I have also had in your news begin to affect things with Jana ... I ... mean is actually began when I was very very own ... in it just the ... carry on over into our yard eating and ... in an intensely our marriage ... of ... but I think there's just an emptiness and a feeling of being not enough ... and then ... made me meeting ... someone else can feel an emptiness in ... me I think he got to the point where ... it was really a burden that she began to carry ... and Janice takes us all that about that part in what were some of the way isn't that that that that that act the tangible things that Randy would ask you to do ... on that day was from affecting your marriage a negative fashion ... things became about him every team wins ... I'm ... his comfort level his feeling ok we can sow and Andy ... and meeting outside reassurance that everything was ok and needing me to be there ... I'm ... feeling today ... tomorrow is turning away from him ... so it did it ... got to be pretty ... overwhelming ... and added the little things I think you describe Elizabeth just Ina might making his lines making a sandwich even ... I in in the bedroom in some cases they all for it also seems to manifest itself and I read about that ... the Betfair ... yet when I got she ... wasn't looking to bring back to you for just a second the common perception is that women are actually ... more need a man and wasn't ruined their case but generally doesn't seem to be fair the experts said ... but how could mean it meant you could've been me being a promotion reconnected me to talk about your marriage and ... they use that as we head on more debt if it wouldn't do but in the act needed Mr. to comfort now they added both men and women can defeat me ... so anyhow that you change your behavior what things did you stop asking Janet to do for you ... I and it didn't seem to make a difference and has enabled you also to improve her life together ... one thing what would happen for me is I they begin to see the ... home is ... the burden that she was carrying a begin to see that in ... they ... are best friends are all other people other than me ... and so I e I came to the realization that I am I needed to be in charge of my own happiness ... I need to be in charge of one of the new move to nurture my own self ... and so ... on ... actually just realize that to ... yesterday I kinda had been pursuing it had to memorize ... that was dissonance of my life's purpose ... and ... I can to follow the path of my parents ... wind down and get ready to get things they were doing that ... I started ... just follow my own unique gifts and talents and ... in them ... you know just do the things that brought me joy instead of ... for instance only when ... at one point my life I was studying for college and ... she had to be there like tickle my arm ... and then ... into just any comfort me and to give me encouragement in a ... Ivies begin to realize that I was willing to do that for myself ... rather then ... we'll continue with this burden on her Alan Sinbad and cyan genocide now I mean he actually tickles you in the bed instead like ... that when I write about the very rights that we ... yet thank so I'm that's psyche that matter ... owning your own stuff so I had to face what was driving eighteen need ... to help him and ... and pull a trend that any he had to face ... a ... fine team had to film in ... himself and what about our marriage relationship ... that about our own things that we needed to address ... I will thank you both brand in Jan for sharing your story with us more D tells on Elizabeth Bernstein stop column to more you can also ...