Need I describe to you the splendour and majesty of the sounds of the cosmos in mere words? Must I relay such earth-shattering vibrations by way of alpha-numeric monkey-squabble? Should I even attempt to place terrestrial qualities upon such heavenly, sonic somnambulance? Nay, for to do so would surely disrupt the subtle ebb and flow of energies far greater than your primitive egos could possibly withstand, that is, without first traversing the multi-dimensional plane for countless millenia.

Nonetheless, a Prof. Gurnett of your University of Iowa has compiled a list of his favorite sounds recorded by a series of laughably hackneyed spacecraft, developed by your planet’s various monkey-navigated space pogroms. Samples of these digitally-raped sound files were given to the earthling Kronos Quartet for use in their album Sun Rings, although I can’t speak to their use in such a disrespectful and tasteless manner. The sounds you hear are nothing compared to the vast, symphonies that are heard when your band of pressure wave sensitivity stretches from well beyond the Planck length, and up unto sound waves many light years across (which, of course, goes without saying).

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