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Saturday, October 9, 2010

Default Dominatrix - or - The Subs I've Had

I was thinking about it the other night, and even tho I consider myself naturally submissive and masochistic, I have played with more submissive guys then dominant ones. I guess you could say I am a default dominatrix. There just has seemed like there is a shortage of men around me who can step up to line I draw and actually top me. I am not an "easy" slave who is dying to please any man ... I am a sassy, bratty bitch who needs to be slapped around and made to submit.

Words have next to no effect on me - you have to physically MAKE me submit to you. Tell me to go to bed and stay there and I will stick my tongue out at you, tell you to fuck yourself and continue watching my TV show. Wrap your hand around my throat and growl threats in my ear as you drag me gasping to the bed and then force me down and beat my ass red, and I will stay in bed until you want me to do otherwise. Basically, I will keep pushing back and mouthing off until you spank me into subspace (or whip me there, flog me there, cane me there, choke me there, prick me there, etc...). Mmmm...

Anyways, it takes a strong handed master to earn my submissive side - and those types of men are few and far between (at least in my life). Also, any man who wants my sub side, cannot switch. Once I know a man goes to bottom ... I lose all respect for him as dominant to me. Like I said, I'm a total bitch, Lol.

The men I seem to have the most history playing with starts out our online flirting telling me he is a dominant man who wants to have a woman who will play sub to him. BUT, what they end up meaning is that they are a total inexperienced vanilla guy who thinks that pulling my hair during doggy style constitutes playing rough with me. These men think that finding a sub means that the woman will get on her knees and give BJs on cue, maybe give up anal more then birthdays and Christmas, and basically take orders like a droid. Vanilla guys' idea of kinky is completely different then actual dom/sub play.

With these kinky vanilla guys, I never have much hope that they will actually submit me. But, true to form, when I meet a guy who says he want to top me, I push back and mouth off until I realize that they are doing what I tell them and not even trying to top me anymore. And, once I realize that I have the top, I have surprised myself by really getting into it!

I know what I like and what I want to feel... so I KNOW how to talk down to and rough up these little sissy's who thought they could push me around. My mental trail goes like this: This guy is sub, I can get anything I want from him. He does what I tell him. This is a total power rush. And, the guy is into really into it! It's almost a form of submissiveness for me to be doing something that he likes so much. He actually loves being made to give me orgasm after orgasm with his tongue - and then being made to give me a foot rub and watch a chick flick all while wearing a cock ring and butt plug. He doesn't get off til I tell him he can, and look at him, eager as a little puppy to please me.

It's amazing to me the different kinds of men that I have found turn sub on me at the critical moment. I have had a truck driver, a musician, and a marine sniper all play sub to my dominatrix. All three men were large beasts who were threatening to just look at. Just proves that you can't judge a man's dom potential by his looks.

The truck driver, "Ed," was 40, 5'10", Polynesian, 300lbs and built like the trucks he drove, or perhaps like a brick wall. He played dom to me for awhile, but then started asking me to top him more and more. He was probably the most experienced in the lifestyle of anyone I've ever played with - and he taught me a lot about what I liked in a dom before he switched on me and was constant sub. He liked me to order him around in bed and choke him to the point of unconsciousness. I didn't really mind giving him what he wanted, but I felt that he lied to me from the beginning by saying he was a Master (with the capital M) and then flat out refusing to top me after I started showing that I was a good dominatrix. That deception combined with him going and being an idiot by falling in love with me, ended that.

The musician, "Josh," was 33, 6'6", also 300lbs, due to his height the weight looked more proportionate, he had that dark, brooding artistic look. He wasn't so much "sub" as he just liked being a bottom in the bedroom. He liked me to use a dildo and fuck his ass while I beat him with my flogger (or bare hands). We took turns fulfilling each others fantasies. Playtime was fun. He discovered that he liked (more then anything else) me to fist his ass. He was a large guy, but he had a small asshole. It would take almost an hour of graduatingly larger toys until my hand could slide into his body. I would then reach around and make him cum with my other hand as the one inside him would ball into a fist and pound away. Since we didn't have any connection outside the bedroom (as in, we didn't spend more then about 3 minutes together that wasn't in my bed), when he moved to Chicago to finish grad school we lost touch.

And the Marine, "George," was 28 (but was worn and rugged and honestly looked closer to 40), was 5'10", and a solid, ripped, 200lbs. He was tattooed up the wazoo, mean looking, and an exfelon as well as a multiple kill sniper with the Marines ... he was also the most submissive little boy that I ever played with. He would do anything in any way I asked him to - he is the one that would walk around wearing a large butt plug that I inserted and would give me foot rubs and be completely content to sit on the floor by my feet while we watched a movie together as long as I was petting his head like he was the household dog. He was a bottom to the point that, had I been super kinky, this little boy in a steroid-pumped-up, convict's body would have sucked off a bull while I took a dump on his dick - he was just THAT submissive. It scared me to have someone be that submissive and into pleasing me (even tho I know it was his submissive side and not necessarily ME that he was into). I eventually ordered him to find a good vanilla girl and be happy with her because I couldn't handle the responsibility of this little boy needing me the way he did. The last I heard, he was married to a sweet little Asian girl that he met at a blood drive at the local university. Tho who knows, she could be a secret dominatrix too. I don't know about her, but I know I definitely could have used the below book when I was playing with him!

I thought about it and perhaps I am not as submissive as I pretend. Even tho what I truly CRAVE is a dominant man who can make me submit. I never fantasize about topping a man and I always dream about being bruised and sore from having a man whip my ass. I never wish I had a guy who's ass I could fist, and I do wish for a man to push his whole hand into my body. I don't go looking for a man to give me a foot rub, and I do crave to be made to kneel before my Master and deep throat him.

But, when push comes to shove, I've been told that I am a very good default dominatrix...