The Shame Of It

What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end
Hurt – Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails)

I was darkness and fury
To your light and sun
On a whim I simply snuffed it
It’s a hurt that can’t be undone
I thought I knew what I was doing
To take you for granted and then some
Only to simply walk away
Leaving you as chaff in the wind’s sway
And how the shame of it numbs
What have I become?

With me as predator and you as prey
I shot an arrow through your soul
You had no chance in this farce
There was no means to console
I thought I knew what I was doing
Going for the break, not just the bend
Damn how your body trembled
As your soul disassembled
And how the shame of it wends
My sweetest friend

You were my own soul’s mirror
Shattered in a thousand places
And I felt the pain as my own
In a thousand fractured faces
I thought I knew what I was doing
How I’ve come to rue that day
Seeing the evidence of what I did
I was loathe to leave it hid
And how the shame of it stays
Everyone I know goes away

You never said a word, I know this
But somehow your break struck me to the core
Never one to rage, yet it changed you
And everyone wanted to know the score
I thought I knew what I was doing
Now I am the chaff in the wind
The wounds of my hateful inflections
Forever bared in my reflections
And how the shame of it does rend
In the end

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At dVerse for the first Poetics for 2017, Mish prompts us to reflect on new beginnings as she shares the works of various artists and invites us to “Choose the piece that speaks to you and let the words flow.” For me it was “Shame” by Ally Saunders that got the ol’ muses attention first, for shame of ones actions can bring change and new beginnings to the instigator of such as well. With “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails as further inspiration, I use my beloved glosa form.