Almosts.

some days feel like I can forget how it felt to be held by youwhere I don't remember the look in your eyes when you took my hand and shared a piece of your precious heart with me. My heart is heavy, my mind is busy. And just when I thought I could make myself forget, the feelings rush back in waves.

when I least expect itthey crash down on me,releasing the grieve, the ever-present feeling of your absencethey keep me saveflush my heart and burn my breathchase me into peace

there was never anyone else who came even close to what you meant to menot a heart that I cherish like yoursnot a soul my heart is refusing to end waiting forexcept yours

you were the only exceptionand days like this leave me wonderingabout the what-ifsthe could-haves...when the smell of your perfume leaves a lump in my throatand flushes my mind with regret

regret about a dishonest goodbyea forced letting gooh if you could have seen my eyesyou would have seen that they had no intention of giving up

and then it hits mein the silence of the fallhow could I lovehow could I fallif you can not holdbe warmed if your silence is coldin the presence of your absence, I realize

that half-committed is not a part of lovewhere your eyes show half-carehalf-carry my lovehalf-invested just enoughwhere you keep me at arm length

keep my heart torn between dreams and memories

you left a mark too deep to forgetwe came to close to almostand as I am letting you go as I am supposed to

I close my eyesthe smell of your perfume leaves a lump in my throatand flushes my mind with regret

your words echo in my earsas you slide right back into the depth of my heart