And a bit of poetic prose I swiped for the Great Major Bertram Golightly of the Yahoo RE Board.

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Blotto Hall ,> Not a spanner was turning nobody was doing f*ck all ,> The Belstaffs were hung by the chimney with care ,> In the hope that by morning Lewis Leathers would be there,> The servants were snoring all snug in their beds ,> With thoughts of debauchery filling their heads ,> Miss Phitten-Willing in her lingerie and I in my cap,> I was reading Pete's manual whilst having a crap ,> When out in the courtyard there came such a clatter ,> I sprang from the pan to see what was the matter ,> Away to the window I sprang like a golden flash ,> Fell over a bantam and threw up the sash ,> The shine from a blue star on the new fallen snow ,> Gave the lustre of metalflake on the objects below,> Through the mist in me monocle what should suddenly appear ,> But a bloody big sidecar and six outriders clear,> With a tubby old driver ,the old engine did tick,> I knew in a moment he'd been giving it some stick ,> More rapid than beezas the outriders came ,> And he whistled and shouted and called them by name ,> Now Cruiser now Clipper , now Interceptor and Bullet ,> On Meteor on Ensign ,my model K you must pull it ,> Across the courtyard to the old garage wall ,> Now rev away ,rev away ,rev away all,> Like raindrops that spit afore the storm starts it's toil ,> They flew o'er the house dripping their oil ,> Then in a twinkling as I warmed me arse by the fire ,> Was a screeching of brakes and a squeeling of tyre,> I pulled up me long johns and was turning around ,> Down the chimney came St Hitchcock with a bound ,> He was dressed in red leathers from his head to his foot ,> And his gear was all tarnished with gravel rash and soot ,> A bundle of spares he had in a sack ,> He looked like a mechanic opening his pack ,> His Mk8's they twinkled , his Cromwell how merry ,> He let out a fart and asked for a sherry ,> His dry little mouth was never to sneer ,> And he said ''well bugger it ,I'll settle for beer '',> He was chubby and plump a right little elf ,> And I laughed when I saw him and damned near shit meself ,> He spoke not a word but went straight to his work ,> Placed spare parts in stockings and then turned with a jerk ,> Laid his grimy old finger on the side of his nose ,> And giving a nod up the chimney he rose ,> He sprang to his outfit ,a Vtwin for sure,> And away they all motored with a bloody great roar, ,> But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight ,>> ''Have a Royal Enfield Christmas and to all riders goodnight ''.Maj Bertram Golightly MBH