Friday, April 11, 2008

Hillary Sculpt By Arshak

Jim Smith and I designed this little item for lovers of democracy and despisers of misogyny everywhere.Well, she survived Monica and Bosnia and now is perfectly preserved in a rubber squeaky toy.

This is proof that she's really made it to the big leagues.

She is further honored by having internationally renowned sculptor Arshak Nazarian create a graven image of her. Arshak comes from a long line of Armenian sculptors, each one a revered master.

Arshak left his own body and entered Hillary's home at 3 in the morning to devour her very soul. He sucked it out and transferred it to clay so you and your loved ones could be protected when that hideous phone call comes. (As long as you buy the toy)So now I have to design the box she comes in.I need some jokes to put on the box.If you have any funny ideas you'd like me to steal send 'em along. (Please not dirty!)

Trevor has already stepped ahead of the pack of cartoon writers with a handsome list of gags in the comments. Can you match his pointed wit?These could be the hips that envelop and succor all us helpless children of the world. Are we ready for so much selfless love?

This is part of an ambitious toy project sponsored by a benevolent Texas Billionaire whose identity must remain secret in order to protect his loved ones. But feel free to thank his secret identity in the comments.

awesome caricature sculpt and probably will sell to a lot of people but what i would REALLY love is some John K supervised sculpts of some classic Clampett Looney tunes poses! disney made a pretty cool high quality series of WDCC sculpts, and i think the woody woodpeckers from last year are pretty good, but i haven't seen a really great lin of looney tunes figurines yet..

I don't care about politics [I'm twelve years old after all], but this toy looks hilarious, so I'm buying it! JOHN K RULES! By the way, John, congrats on the new George Liquor shirts and toy deal! I'm going to get this Hilary Clinton toy as soon as it comes out!

john, i should have been doing my Canterbury tales essay on my hot friday night, but i instead made some hillary jokes:

1) not appropriate for ages 200 and younger2) butt-dimensions may appear smaller in package3) Hill-Cat's canines have been filed-down for "real-human" realism4) additional pant suits not included5) "satisfaction not guaranteed"6) Bill's 2nd Lady7) WARNING: not feng shui compatible8) estrogen-free9) may control home once opened10) with secret-decoder wedding ring11) super powerful cackling-action (deactivated)12) with ultra-modern hair-style (limited to 2008)13) eyes may radiate symptoms of illness or death14) cheek bones not intended for younger viewers15) now made wrinkle proof16) may accost other toys

if you choose to use any, please notify me, along w/ 5 bucks multiplied by larger numbers. x)

Pull the chord, she speaks: "For seven years, the drug companies, the insurance companies, the oil companies and Wall Street have had a President; I think it's time the American people had a President they could play with in the bath or sandox."

Be Democratic! Buy two!

Be the first active voter on your block to own the all new Hillary Clinton Inaction Figure! Complete with unmovable parts!

Coming in '09, The White House: Hilary's Play Den! Re-design America's First Home with a woman's touch! Comes with customizable furniture and a First Hubby Clinton doll in the Oval Orifice.*

*Whether or not this product is put into production depends heavily on election results.

Kiss war games goodbye! Scrap your G.I. Joes and your little green army men! Trade them in for one democratic doll! You don't need war with this nutcracker!

Buy a Hillary doll! Get free healthcare! Close the gap!

Want to take Hillary to bed, but don't want to squash her in the night? Don't worry. Hillary Doll is durable and stubborn! Some say she's made of iron, but these are only fables. Formicka and Fortitude, that's what she's built with!

This toy is designed in a kind of retro style, the way fun classic toys used to be! This is something which is not done these days, but Spümcø and Hillary want to promote "change".

You can balance a beer and the budget on her rump!

Interactive Emotion Chip Technology: Ask her how she does it, how she stays so upbeat and wonderful, and the doll actually cries!

What the hell, Vote Clinton 2012!

Look at those teeth! Close The Gap!

Designed by John Kricfalusi and Jim Smith. John is the creator of Ren and Stimpy and Jim is the creator of Newt Gingrich.

Hillary Doll was sculpted by renowned gypsy Master Sculptor Arshak Nazarian. "Arshak" is also an anagram for Awesome Rockin Sculptor Handling All Klay. ( In Gypsia, people spell English words wrong to be ironic. They've also found this promotes 'change'.)

This toy made out of recycled Beanie Babies.

Box printed on recycled basic human rights lost during the war on terror.

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I hope that's not too preachy. Maybe there's one or two in there you could use.

hey john, off topic:you once talk about how it would be like to see somebody acting out a scene in the the cal art stile. i found out this video today at cartoonbrew.com if you haven't seen it yet you should check it out!

The bottle opener is a great idea, you could put a hole in her butt for twist tops too!

It also reminds me of the Rubbery Figures show in Oz, which was a great political mockery, http://www.nicholsoncartoons.com.au/rubbery.phpI've been thinking there should be another piss take on politics like that, with some puppets, and the average computer I could see a weekly episode getting made.