ALL-TIME ALL-BIG TEN TEAM: Basketball.

No Myths, Just Legends

July 31, 1995|By Skip Myslenski, Tribune College Basketball Writer.

"They are the bane of the modern age, a cheap substitute for measured thinking," said Ari. His full name is Aristotle, as in the great Greek philosopher, and here he was again playing like his namesake from atop his favorite pedestal, the central bar stool in his neighborhood watering hole.

"Lighten up, Ari. They're fun," The Scribbler told him.

"They're like instant mashed potatoes, frozen pizzas smothered in ersatz cheese, chicken soup out of a can full of chemicals," roared Ari, ever the holistic philosopher of the modern age.

"Sources of arguments is more like it," sneered Ari, an ardent pacifist. "I mean, just face up to what's going to happen. You're going to print your little lists. The readers are going to choke on their granola when they see your choices. And what are they going to do? They're going to pick up the nearest telephone, call some sports talk show, and pollute the air with comments on your senility. So that's all you're doing. Contributing an hour's worth of radio programming, and further fouling the atmosphere you already poison with your infernal cigarettes."

"Now, now, Ari. No reason to get personal about this. And anyway. I don't mind helping out my friends, The Screaming Heads, every once in awhile. After all. There's nothing wrong with a little charity now and again."

"So now we're The Magnanimous Scribbler, uh?"

"Sure. Just check out my guards."

"You're sucking me in here, Scribbler."

"Right. And though I'm sure it's not quite as interesting as arguing whether Kant or Descartes was the greatest philosopher, even you must be able to appreciate how much conversational fodder these guards can provide. Why, right now I'm sure there's some irate Boilermaker reaching for the phone and wailing, `What about Johnny Wooden?' "

"Wasn't he some coach?"

"Good, Ari, good. But before that, he was a three-time All-American at Purdue and, in 1932, the National Player of the Year."

"And he doesn't get a sniff of your list?"

"In place of whom, Magic Johnson? All he did was win a national title as a sophomore."

"Which Isiah Thomas did, too."

"Why, Ari! Are you a closet Hoosier?"

"I blush to admit. So why Magic over Isiah?"

"Why chocolate chip cheesecake over butter pecan ice cream? Just a matter of taste. And Magic was a pioneer, the first truly great big guard, an unabashed stylist who proved cleverness could come out of a forward's body. Remember. When he showed up, no one had ever seen anyone quite like him before.

"The same--and even as a Hoosier you must admit this--the same can be said of Rick Mount. Yeah, yeah. I know he didn't play much defense, but, heck. Secretariat's owners didn't ask him to pull a milk truck. His job was to win races, just like Mount's was to shoot and score, which he did with a preternatural style. Let me put this to you another way, Ari, my old philosopher friend. It was Descartes, wasn't it, who talked about living a life of imaginative reality, not unimaginative realism? Both these guys did that with their basketball, and won as well."

"Ari, Ari. Be careful. Your Crimson and Cream's so glaring this whole joint's going to know you're nothing but a Hoosier pretty soon."

"But . . ."

"But yes. Knight and Lucas were teammates on the great Ohio State teams of the early '60s, yet that is where any and all similarities in their playing careers end. Knight came off the bench. Lucas starred, and was the centerpiece of those Bucks, a three-time All-American, a two-time National Player of the Year, and was worthy of just about any other superlative you want to throw over him. It was a no-brainer, his place on this list."

"Which is only fitting, considering it's yours, Scrib."

"Now, Ari. A cheap shot like that is below a person of your supposed breeding, even you must be able to see that."

"I also see your forwards don't include guys like John Havlicek and Kevin McHale."

"Who, you should know, were better, more-dominating players in the NBA than they ever were in college. Now we don't know if that's going to be the case with Glenn Robinson; it's still too early to tell. But at Purdue, heck, he was the first player in 16 years to lead the conference in both scoring and rebounding, and even that does not fully tell just how good he was.

"As for Scott May, we-e-e-ell. Yes, he was part of a great team, and, yes again, you can even argue that his point guard, Quinn Buckner, was the most valuable player on that team. But he was the National Player of the Year in 1976, and he was a two-time All-American, and he must be remembered always for this.