Saturday, March 10, 2007

What a long day today! Went to the library to search for lyrics to fit into the song for lagu puisi competition and then headed straight on for lunch opposite Jusco. After that, my dad brought my sister and I to cut our hair. And here is the most annoying part.

One of the assistants there used the straightening iron clippers to straighten my hair. I admit that my hair was a little bit wavy as I had it tied up previously so I did not mind at first. But the moment she clipped my hair over and over again with the clippers, I was thinking, "Okay, this is getting bad...." She continued tormenting my hair slowly. The worst part was when she clipped on the same bunch of hair for quite a long time. I could truly hear my hair crying. When she had completed steaming my hair, I quickly touched it. It felt so hot! It was obvious that my hair was flattened and it now looked little.

The trip to Jusco enlightened me somehow. Bought some stuffs before going home to cook for my dearie dearie Saffy. This is the end result of her dinner:

Noodles with luncheon meat and some desserts. The desserts are not made by me. They are bought. Made in Malaysia special delicacy. :D

Saffy loved it so much that she finished everything (as usual). Now, she's sleeping with her heart, mind and soul full of content.

The AF season has begun. I love the auditions as I can laughed my head off listening to them. I am terribly sorry for being mean. Tell me, who can suppress laughter when something hilarious comes so near to your ears?

I am not trying to condemn anyone here. I really salute those who went for the audition. I will never have the courage to do so. Even if their singings are bad, I respect them for being who they are and not afraid of being laughed at.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

My sleepiness is getting the better of me but I feel the need to post something here.

I received a message from my mom this afternoon asking me how the turtles were doing and this is what I replied.

"They look lively."

Well, of course, my mom was convinced that they were dead since I mentioned that they 'look lively' instead of 'being alive'. I really had a good laugh after that and something came back into my memory. One of them really had died last year. I could remember the still and puppeted figure which I held before burrying it in the nearby field. Its head was hanging low and it seemed to have suffered prior to its death. Its eyes were half-closed as though it was having a peaceful rest. I cried the whole night thinking that I have killed it. Maybe it was really my fault. Guilt is still overwhelming every time I reminisce about it.

The thing about me is that, I tend to get really touchy when it comes to issues regarding dying animals with the condition that I witness the deaths myself. My eyes will go teary when I watch or read animals being tortured in the most inhuman ways. Even when my dad hit Saffy, I could not help defending her when I know clearly that she deserved the punishment.

Lizards, however, is totally another issue. I hate them. Or, you can call it fear rather than hatred. I can never feel sorry for them when they dies. Most probably I will feel disgusted and would want to get rid of the 'dead bodies' as soon as possible. I have no idea what they are doing here. Sometimes, I use this as a food for thought: Are they beneficial to us? They may have served the purpose of killing insects which harbour on the walls for us but I still shudder when I realise a lizard is at bay less than two feet from me. The very moment I notice one of these mini dinosaurs lurking in a corner with tiny, black eyes, I would be dashing off in the opposite direction. Sometimes, I would scream if one caught me off-guard. Another thing that I really hate is their velocity. The way they move which was a little too fast for my eyes to catch a glimpse of them is another factor of why I hate them so much. I am afraid of something that I missed. Which is particularly true why I hate being absent from school. I do not like to be left in the dark.

My B.M. sir told us something about psychology today and I found it really interesting. He drew an 'S' on the white board and asked us in which perspective do we look at the bold 'S'. He said some people said the background of the 'S' is black. Everyone in class said otherwise. How can it be a black background when it was written on a white board? He later explained that certain people who are more to the 'creative side' or harshly labelled as the pessimistic ones look at the whole picture with the 'S' being a puncture on the white board. He added on that the people in this category view things in extraordinary ways and tend to judge things in the wrong way. For this, I am glad that I am normal.

The other day, I went out for a cup of tea with a friend whom I have not met for a long time. He taught me a lot about facing reality in life and it really made me think how I have been taking life so lightly all these years. There are just so much that I could do with my life rather than dreaming about life that I could never get. The life that I really wanted but never could get no matter how hard I try. Real life scenarios are not as blissful as fictional lives that we read in books or watch on television. I wonder, what can I do with my life? How can I enrich it? Many questions started popping into my head and it all ended all in a messy, tangled up strings of confusion. I could think no more.

I notice I love to jumble up the topics when I update. I just don't know why. Maybe it's due to the fact that I write whatever that comes to my mind first which proves that I am not much of a planner. I would write about this. Then, I think maybe I should quit blabbering on the same issue and move on to another one. A die-hard habit which I cannot get rid of.

My neighbour must be smoking again. I just could not stand the smell of burnt nicotine and tar. Not only are my eyes tired, my nose is getting irritated all due to the 'good deed' of my neighbour. I wonder how Saffy could stand it since she has better smelling sense than me.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Once again, another week is about to end. And it is already the 13th day of Chinese New Year. Time is speeding like it used to. I am glad of one thing though.

I'VE SAT FOR MY FEBRUARY TEST PAPERS!

At least I don't have to be a physician anymore to predict the questions that would be coming out. Got back two subjects and they are satisfactory. I could ask for nothing more. A mere little creature in this vast universe must learn to be satisfied of what I deserved and not be complaining. However, I must not be too complacent at the same time.

It's time to move on!

I dream dreams. But none of them seemed to be related to my studies. All I could say is that they were too fictional. I am a dreamy kind of person. Quick, someone pull me back to reality! Is there any kind of metal in books that could attract them towards me? In this case, I want to be the magnet simply because I just have to wait for the books to come to me rather than me going to them. I hate myself sometimes. My attitude is still the same. As lazy as ever. I really wonder when would the day when I learn to be hardworking comes. Maybe it won't take long to come. I am sure by STPM, I will as good as the ants and bees.