May 29, 2014

When the Mirror and Pictures Dont Match {Real Talk}

*possibly triggering*

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen this post from Monday. The picture on the left was taken a few months ago at a bridesmaid dress fitting, the picture on the right was taken on Monday. The only difference in these dresses is the color because they didn't have this shade of blue in store. Same size, same style. When I picked up my special order from the store, I was shocked. This can't be MY dress. When I compared photos, I couldn't get over the difference. I'm not trying to seem like "look at me, I'm awesome".

I was getting to a point in this journey where I was still seeing the girl on the left in the mirror. In some aspects, I think it comes from having "ED brain". I consider myself to be as fully recovered as a person can be from disordered eating. With that being said, I'm aware of the fact that it is something that wont go away completely. Thoughts and behaviors that have been ingrained after so many years have been corrected. I don't restrict, binge, purge or over exercise. Like a lot of women, I am guilty of some negative body speak. Does it happen often? No. Is it still damaging? Hell yeah.

What I love about my fitness journey is the improved physical and emotional strength. A few years ago, you could've put these two pictures together and I wouldn't have seen a difference. Now it's time for me to be a little nicer to the girl in the mirror.

You have made such a transformation already! I'm so proud of you! I am definitely guilty of the negative self-talk, and self-esteem has been a constant struggle for me. You posts are inspiring! If you come up to Cleveland, you and Mary better give me a call for the yoga and drinks!

Say that again to yourself: I AM FREAKING AWESOME. AND BEAUTIFUL IN ALL THE WAYS THAT MATTER. I think that negative self-talk is almost necessary, sometimes--to remind us to be kind to ourselves, and to re-commit ourselves to ourselves, if that makes sense.