Hello, mr Tony how are you? i know by the grace of our lord
jesus christ you are well, plz, i need ur help because, i
have a big problem about my education, plz, again if u help
me i will never forget you plz, if you get this massage try
to help me . take care mr Tony.

No-one would be taken in by it (I hope!), but I just thought I'd better warn others while waiting for site staff to delete this profile.

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But he's a native speaker of Middle English residing in Ghana! How can that possibly be untrue?

Bifil that in that seson on a day,
In Accra at the Villa Monticello as I lay
Redy to wenden on my pilgrymage
To Sekondi with ful devout corage,
At nyght was come into that hostelrye
Wel nyne and twenty in a compaignye,
Of sondry translators, by aventure yfalle
In felaweshipe, and pilgrimes were they alle,
That toward Sekondi wolden ryde.
The chambres and the stables weren wyde,
And wel we weren esed atte beste.
And shortly, whan the sonne was to reste,
So hadde I spoken with hem everichon
That I was of hir felaweshipe anon,
And made forward erly for to ryse,
To take oure wey ther as I yow devyse.

[Edited at 2014-01-25 22:08 GMT]

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It's annoying, Tony, isn't it? In fact, I get so annoyed by this treatment of translators I've now gone for the chance to leave translating for good.

Don't tell anyone, but I've just got an e-mail saying that, by an amazing coincidence, my name and surname are exactly the same as those of the ex-finance minister in a certain third world country who was tragically killed in a recent plane crash. The sender, his daughter, a poor distraught lass (damnably attractive, too, judging by the photo - AND she says she does not have a relationship now, but would like to settle down with someone special ...!!), is now hiding out in another country close by, in order to escape detection by her father's many brutal and ruthless enemies, desperate to get their sweaty, grimy, bloodstained hands on his 63.5 million US dollars in a safe deposit box at the bank. All I have to do is jump on a flight to the city concerned, where her associate will be waiting to take me to the presidential suite that night at the Hilton, all booked and pre-paid, and the next day I simply assume the father's identity, go and lift the dosh, and pay out a couple of million as a facilitation fee. Couldn't be easier. Better than counting words and putting up with all this bull.

Mervyn

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