Theories

At first, I sat here writing all kinds of nonsense. Then I deleted it when I found the path I wanted to take. I have a few theories, but they aren’t necessarily all mine. At least not this first one.

Theory 1-This was developed in college with a friend of mine. It’s going to sound judgemental and it probably is. The trick here–you’ve thought it too. I am just writing out what you have always thought. (Oh, I am sure you have NEVER thought this way! This is for everyone else.) This theory is dubbed the “Gene Pool Theory.” It’s the theory that all ugly people pair off pretty quick. When they find each other, they know they have a slim chance of finding someone else–so they dive in. It encompasses all the thoughts you have when you see a couple and think “Really?! How can they be in a relationship when I am so single!” Take what you can get. It can also apply to really good-looking people. They find each other and so they date. They know if they mate–their offspring will also be good-looking. Unless the theory about ugly people having beautiful babies and good-looking people having ugly babies is true. (By the way, I don’t think Suri or Shiloh are that awesome for celeb babies. C’mon!)

Theory 2-This one is mine. I thought of it whilst writing random thoughts. I will explain the best I can. Maybe we should call it competitive dress. There is an attractive guy at work, but he’s married. He actually got hired to take the place of another guy, whom I also thought was attractive. Anyways, how much I care about hair, make-up and dress is proportionate to how many guys I find attractive. I was trying to figure this out because I don’t mess with relationships, so why would I care what that guy thought necessarily. However, he dresses nice…so I want to dress nice. I think it is the competitive spirit in me. I have to keep up see, show that I am on the same level? I guess? While I find him attractive and kind of refer to him as a “prototype” to my friends, I am really not interested in him. My heart doesn’t flutter when he walks in, I just think he’s nice to look at. However, when there are no “attractive” guys–I don’t care as much. I decided it is because I vainly think in my head that I am already “dressed nicer” because I’m the cuter one.

Theory 3-This one is pretty simple and I think everyone relates. If you are in an environment for too long where there are no legit good-looking people–someone will start to look good to you. At my last job, that happened to me. If I saw this guy on the street, I would’ve only taken a second look because he was big and tall like an ogre. Seriously, some Polish people have big heads. I am making that up based on 2 out of 3 of my ex-co-workers…since they were Polish. This guy had meat-hands, like Brock Lessner. He dressed nice, but he was a perv and not my type. No standards and typically…not my type. But he was basically the cutest one, so I started having a physical reaction to him. I think his alwasy flirty, provocative statements helped in all honesty. But my heart would beat a little faster, I would want his attention. (Clearly, he was single or at least never in a relationship long enough for me to keep up.) It’s basically like twisted beer goggles after awhile. People start to look good and they should not.