President Schwarzenegger:
[gasp]
Look at all those angry eyes and pointy teeth! It's like Christmas at the Kennedy Compound!

Russ Cargill:
Mr. President, you chose me, Russ Cargill, most successful man in America, to head the EPA, the least successful government agency. Why did I take the job? Because I'm just a rich guy who wants to kick some ass for good old Mother Earth. I want to give something back. Not the money, but something. That's why I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options.

Homer Simpson:
[singing Tune to Spider-Man Theme Song]
Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. / Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. / Can he swing / from a web? / No he *can't*, / He's a pig. / Look out! / He is the Spider-Pig!

Homer Simpson:
Okay, son. You have only one chance to throw that bomb through the hole.

Bart Simpson:
Dad, in case I don't make it, I'm sorry I said I wish you weren't my dad.

Homer Simpson:
I don't blame you, son. I've never been that good of a father. Maybe it all starts with the way my father raised me. Yes, it's all clear to me. It's all just been one long, unbroken chain of...

Montgomery Burns:
So, you want some of my electricity, do you? Well, for once, the rich, white man is in control. I have two buttons behind my desk. One will provide your town with power, the other releases the hounds. Reach me. Make me your brother.

Dr. Hibbert:
The hospital's generator is about to give out. Lives will be lost.

Ned Flanders:
[surprised by the pink mutated multi-eyed squirrel]
Well, this certainly seems odd, but, heh, who am I to question the work of the Almighty? Oh, we thank you Lord for this mighty fine intelligent design! Good job!

Marge Simpson:
Well, that's the thing. I just don't know how to finish that sentence anymore. So I'm leaving with the kids to help Springfield, and we're never coming back. And to prove to myself that this is the end... I taped this over our wedding video. Good-bye, Homie.