Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Window on Eurasia: Russians Beginning to Laugh at Putin

Paul
Goble

Staunton, November 18 – A leader,
someone has said, can tolerate almost any attack, but he needs to worry if
people begin to laugh at him. Russians have a long history of telling anecdotes
about their leaders – jokes allow for deniability – and this humor has not
always cost those in charge their positions even if it has invariably undermined
their reputations.

A
man comes into a drug store and says he isn’t feeling well. The druggist asks
if he has a prescription. The man replies, “Isn’t a Russian passport enough?”

One
Russian says he has watched “Planet of the Apes. The Revolution.” Another
replies that he has listened to Putin’s latest speech.

A
Russian is asked to name the Russian product which enjoys the greatest demand in
the population. His response: Putin’s lies. “Why not vodka?” he is asked. To
which the first responds: “Because the number of consumers of vodka is much
smaller.”

Putin
says that the Russian army will be supplied with the most advanced offensive
and defensive arms. A Russian replies that this means he is again going to use
women and children “behind the backs of whom will be concealed polite ‘little
green men.’”

Putin decides that
he will in no case fall behind the leaders of Western countries. When they
introduce sanctions against Russia, Putin does the same, not only imposing
sanctions but also imposing them against Russia.

Asked
whether he plans to put up the iron curtain again, Putin replies that no, he
will only use barbed wire this time around.

Putin
acknowledges that the ruble of Russians has fallen but points out that Russians
have risen from their knees.

The
Russian Federal Service for Narcotics Control comes out against the legalization
of drugs in Russia. Their reason? “Putin and Moscow television are more than
sufficient.”

Given
the number of airline accidents with which Russia is involved, it appears that
Putin served not in the KGB but in the Anti-Aircraft Forces.

Two
prisoners are talking. One asks “For what were you convicted?” The other says
he created a comic strip showing that President Putin is an idiot. Under what
paragraph of the law were you sentenced, the first asks, hooliganism or
extremism? The second replies: no, not either of these, rather for revealing a
state secret.

After
Moscow occupies Crimea, Yanukovich asks Putin whether he can go to Foros and be
the lawful president there. Putin replies: “No, you are only a lawful president
in Rostov.”

When
Putin is flying away from Brisbane, his press secretary finds him in tears.
Peskov says he shouldn’t be upset by what the G-20 leaders said. To which Putin
replies, “But I cannot forget that koala and how he embraced me!”

In thinking about these and other new
Russian jokes, many of which of course are recycled from Soviet times, one
should remember the Polish observation about such humor: When times are bad,
Poles say, people tell political jokes.When they get worse, people stop.