Have you ever climbed to the top of a roller coaster ride and looked down only to discover that you never should have climbed that far up? What options do you have now? You can’t make everyone move aside to let little ole you down. You are not on the right side to exit. Your only option is to go through with it now since you are up there. It’s like sexual partners. The more people you have sex with (obviously), the higher your number will go. You cannot change your number, they all count –I will talk about exceptions later-and there is no way to come down. You just have to get over it and live with your number! Look at it as a lesson learned: don’t go up so high knowing you’re afraid of heights!

So, I’ve been asked, how much is too much in relations to sexual partners. Well, let’s analyze this carefully. I think that depends on a number of things. One of those things is the age at which you lost your virginity and the age you are now. I consider those things because if you lost it at 17 and you are now 21 and have slept with more than 10 then there might be a problem. 10 is high for my liking, but I say either 2 or 3 mates a year are probably acceptable. That is not to say that for 4 years you should have slept with 12 guys, no. Within those 4 years, a steady mate or boyfriend should have been obtained. Notice I only mentioned a boyfriend. That brings me to my next situation to be considered: gender.

I’m a little biased on this one. I think that it is ok for guys to sleep with more women than vice versa. I think this is ok because of the society we are in and have been raised in. Men have always been more promiscuous than women, with the exception of porn stars, prostitution and things of the like. To me, it kind of goes back to that key saying about how one key for many locks is a master key but many keys for one lock is a shitty lock (not sure of the originator). Not to say I am for male whores, I think that they need to keep it in their pants, but it is worse to me when a female is whore.

I also consider how many were within a relationship and how many were with a “friend”. Say all of them were with “friends”….you should probably reconsider some things. I, mean if you are one who does not like relationships then I guess your number can be justified and it is understandable. If you are trying to obtain a relationship and they turn out to be shit heads, then your strategy for reeling them in needs to be revised. Sex won’t make a person stay. It may make them come back, but they won’t stay. You have had sex with lots of friends because you didn’t make them work for it in the first place OR you did some bad misjudgment a couple of times and should try to learn from past mistakes. It is ok to take things slow. Just as well, it is ok to have fun…but there does come a time when you have to be more responsible and end the fun in some parts of your life.

My exceptions to the rules are of course rape and molestation. No one wants to remember those incidents and count them as a cherished memory. I also wouldn’t count anything that is not penetration. So that means no oral, digital (and for females) or anal is counted in my book so that should bring your number down a bit (it’s a reward!). P.S.: you can only count a person once. Doubling back does not count as an extra person!

Therefore, 2-3 a year is ok but number 3 or 4 needs to become more than a friend and lover. Sincerely, SP

I personally believe, what people do is their business. I'm very understanding and don't judge people based on their past or how they prefer to live their life. If a person is happy with their situation and it works for them, then proceed. I have my personal values and morals, so another's person's principles may not align with mine. Which is ok. I think society socialized us to believe things and live by societal values so much that we look at certain values as to be that only value!

At the same time, we have to acknowledge that everyone is different and everyone does things for a reason. Their reason may be valid or invalid but at the end of the day, we are all human.

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SP

1/9/2013 04:53:41 pm

You are right. I do believe that everyone has their own preferences, morals, values and beliefs. Numbers may not matter to them and there is nothing wrong with having fun, living life and exploring all there is to explore. I just think that when it comes time to wanting to be more serious with a person, sex first doesn't ALWAYS work. I managed to have a 4 yr relationship with someone where it was first so it is possible, but i wouldn't chance that again.

Society has shaped our minds to believe certain things which i hate. I believe that women aren't as liberated and men aren't as expressive (just to name a few) because of what we have been trained and groomed to believe.We are all human and technically no one is wrong. we each have our own lives to live, i just hope that we live it safely. safety first!

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I am a journalist with a passion for writing and helping others. Views expressed are solely mine unless other wised mentioned. They are my opinions and are not always facts.S.P-Smudge Proof