Truth in Waitressing

January 29, 2010

I was out for a family lunch recently and my mom ordered coleslaw with her sandwich. The waitress came back a few minutes later and reported that the “cole slaw’s just, uh, not looking too good.” She let this hang for a second before offering my mom her choice of a different side – it was almost as if she was hoping Mom would jump in, Clint Eastwood style, and announce she was feeling lucky.

This would not be unprecedented in my family. My brother once made a tuna salad sandwich with mayonnaise so expired that it was both runny and extra-tangy. He ate half the sandwich, suffering no ill effects, and put the rest away for later. After his wife came home and deep-sixed the rest of the mayo – she was, incidentally, horrified – Dan actually considered eating the rest of the sandwich. “I figured the first half didn’t get to me, so why not eat the second half?”