As a parody, this is a complete failure. It lacks the key element of the original that was absolutely ready to be parodied porno-style: former Marine Corps drill sergeant Harvey E. Walden IV. Walden is an imposing, screaming, insulting black man who bullies celebrity clients into exercising their excessive rolls off, and instead of getting a dominant black male performer to pretend to be Walden, director Dirty Dan gives us … Otto Bauer. Not even close. The theme here is that skinny celebrities need to put weight on by eating more meat … in tubular form, more often than not.

Chef Dale DaBone gives Breanne Benson a cream pie and … a cream pie. After DaBone’s pop, he smears whipped cream all over her cunt and she scoops it off and licks it. Bauer tempts Sadie West into eating by putting a rotisserie chicken on a dildo fuck machine. She gnaws on the bird’s tits before deciding to give the machine a ride. Bauer takes over and it’s strong, good stuff, with West mesmerized by how well Bauer fucks her.

Redhead Violet Monroe gets her ass fucked by Marco Bandares as part of a thyroid check. Seth Dickens ruins the heat by claiming post-anal that she has a tapeworm (made of spaghetti) that Banderas proceeds to eat. Ewww.