The questionnaire

Desiree Mejer, 34, was born in Spain and educated at boarding school. She worked as a glamour model and a fine artist before becoming a fashion designer. In 1992, she set up her label, Fake London. Her signature garment is the recycled cashmere sweater, cut up and resewn into a Union Jack.

What is your idea of perfect happiness? In bed with a book, a phone and missing an appointment.

What is your greatest fear? That my phone is cut off.

With which historical figure do you most identify? Attila the Hun.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I don't - I love my traits.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Smugness.

What has been your most embarrassing moment? Saying to a woman I wanted to make friends with, 'I didn't know you were pregnant.' 'I'm not,' she replied.

What objects do you always carry with you? Blind optimism.

How did you vote in the last election? With my feet.

How will you vote in the next election? I will have to ask my accountant.

Should the Royal Family be scrapped? Only if it's the shooting season.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Sincerity.

Have you ever said 'I love you' without meaning it? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? I love you.

What is your greatest regret? Having said, 'I love you', when I meant it.

When and where were you happiest? Anywhere when I relax.

How do you relax? I don't.

How often do you have sex? Too drunk to remember.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life? Sober sex.

What keeps you awake at night? Cheese.

How would you like to die? On stage, wearing a fez.

Do you believe in life after death? Yes, but not necessarily mine.

How would you like to be remembered? By whom?

What is the most important lesson life has taught you? You can't waste money.