Are Shia LaBeouf and Sean Penn related?

A couple of months ago in London, Shia LaBeouf got punched in the junk for being a dick. So, like, just a regular Tuesday. Sarah wrote about it here. According to the British papers, Shia was once again being a dick at a restaurant recently but this time, he was the one who told his opponent that:

“I can get you killed.”

Is he Sean Penn’s long lost son? Because it feels like it, non?

It all started when a woman went up to Shia and tried to talk to him. Mistake. Always, even with regular celebrities it’s a mistake. With Shia it’s guaranteed drama. The woman left crying. So her boyfriend went back to get aggro in Shia’s face and then they pulled their penises out and tried to piss on each other. In the end, according to eyewitnesses, Shia had to be removed from the premises, but not before uttering his threat.

So it was douchebag vs douchebag, and there’s one douchebag who is almost always involved. He’s the male equivalent of Lindsay Lohan. If there’s a party and the cops show up, you can put money on the fact that she has something to do with it. And Shia LaBeouf too. God that is unsexy. If that were my boyfriend, I’d be so embarrassed I’d leave with the other guy.