Monday, January 30, 2012

Public Service Announcment

Older church ladies of the world...do not, under any circumstances, ask a younger church lady, "When are you due?" unless you are 100% certain she is actually pregnant. How can you be 100% certain said younger church lady is pregnant, you ask? When you hear the words from her own lips, "I am 100% certain I am pregnant." In no other circumstance should you speculate and therefore ask the younger church lady outloud, "When are you due?"

Yes. This happened to me today. I was the younger church lady.

I had this happen a few years back as well. My response a few years back was to laugh nervously and say that I was still carrying baby weight and I was wearing an empire waste shirt, so it was easy to make that mistake (I never wore that shirt again, by the way!).

This time, I maintained my dignity, composure and eye contact, and when asked, "When are you due?" said calmly, "I...am not." The older church lady said, "Oh...well..." and slunk off. Which is as it should be.

Oddly enough, I had just read an article in an etiquette section of a magazine regarding this very issue. The author encouraged the non-pregnant "younger church lady," when asked this horrifying question, to maintain eye contact, tell the offender she is not pregnant, and let all the awkwardness hang there without making excuses for yourself to make the other person feel better. That way "the older church lady" bears the load of the awkwardness, hopefully being shamed into contrition and learning to never ask that dreaded question to anyone not in a hospital gown and pushing again.

So, to my fellow younger church ladies....you are welcome. I may have saved you from one older church lady today.

3 comments:

I absolutely hate those moments. Thank you for taking on for the team. My similar story is from Gerrit's home church (at least a year before I was pregnant). What is it with old church ladies??? She walked up and said, "Congratulations!" I said, "For what?" She replied, "On your pregnancy...." My awkward laugh made her look at my stomach and say, "Didn't I...hear that somewhere?" I agree. Don't congratulate a woman you aren't sure about unless you see that baby coming out.