Parenting: Money in abundance

Monday

Mar 10, 2014 at 7:09 AMMar 10, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Rich Gritter

Dear Rich: What is your perspective on kids and money? My closest friend has three kids and they make sure these kids always have cash with them for anything (everything) they need. No surprise, but these kids spend money like crazy. My family does not have that kind of cash flow, and I’m not sure it is all that good for kids anyway. What is your take?— Not Growing on TreesDear Not Growing on Trees: It’s intriguing to me how living in a culture of abundance has changed people’s attitudes about money over a few generations. Many of us have no memory as children of our families having “disposable income.”Maybe it is just nostalgia, but it made us appreciate the moments we could splurge on a dinner out, or a family trip, or even those uncommon moments when we had a few bucks in our pocket and lots of dreams about how we might spend them.Having an abundance of anything makes us less appreciative of having it.Although keeping money in your kids’ hands is not a guarantee of future personal distress or financial ruin, it does limit a child’s ability to appreciate the fact that every dollar was earned by someone’s hard work, and that life doesn’t come with certainties that money will always be available in abundance.Sometimes the very best word our kids can hear, at any age, is “no.” “No” is a word that introduces reality into a situation. It provides kids with feedback about what is realistic to expect, both now and in their adult years, with regard to resources such as money.I’m not suggesting that we arbitrarily keep our kids as poor as possible. That teaches them a different lesson, one having to do with stinginess, or even control. But we should not deprive them of the opportunity to really appreciate the blessing of having some money at times, and more specifically, of doing some work to earn money for their own use.— Rich Gritter, LMSW, and father of three, is Program Director for Bethany Christian Services, specializing in issues related to the parenting of children and teens. Email him questions for future columns at rgritter@bethany.org.