Therapy For Couples

Cultivating Lasting Relationships

Committing oneself to an intimate relationship is one of the most powerful and challenging endeavors of a lifetime. These relationships can be profoundly rich and fulfilling, and they can also push us to our edge. It is within relationships like these that we face our deepest longings, as well as our oldest childhood wounds.

You may be interested in couples therapy because:

• You or your partner frequently do not feel heard or understood.

• You love one another, but often feel alone or lonely.

• You bicker a lot about seemingly small things, or worse, get into awful arguments that leave each of you feeling hurt and isolated.

• One of you wants to move forward to the next step in your relationship but the other is ambivalent.

Committed relationships are similar to family relationships in the areas of interdependency, trust, intimacy and rules, both spoken and unspoken, that inevitably trigger unfinished business. The bad news is that we thought we had left our old family issues behind us. The good news is that a committed intimate relationship provides the best opportunity to heal old, historical pain and help you move beyond the dysfunctional patterns caused by that history.

I can help you see where past relationships may be casting a shadow on your current relationship, perhaps causing you to distort and/or overreact to your partner. I can help you explore and undo the hidden causes and underlying structure beneath communication difficulties, constant fighting, emotional walls, infidelity, or parenting issues.

Within the context of a safe, confidential atmosphere, we will come to understand the strengths, vulnerabilities, unresolved hurts and conflicts you each bring to your relationship and work to transform your relationship into one that feels safe, intimate and fulfilling.

Couples Therapy Can Help You:

• Make purposeful changes in your communication

• Separate your current relationship from unfinished business you may have with your parents and family

• Develop tools that enable each of you to ask for what you need, experience empathy for your partner, and resolve conflicts in a mutually acceptable manner

• Change unsatisfying patterns of closeness and distancing to help you enjoy a more intimate and trusting relationship

• Understand deeper issues related to attachment and safety

• Build your confidence and desire as a couple to work through difficulties as they arise

I have both personal and professional confidence in the power of relationships to heal, promote growth, and be the center of richness and joy. I also know that getting to that point involves hard work, commitment, and understanding yourself and your partner as unique human beings. I will work collaboratively with you to find solutions and move obstacles out of your way. I give feedback, recommendations and homework to facilitate this endeavor.

I would welcome an opportunity to help you!

Is It Time To Act On Your Interest In Couple’s Therapy?

Perhaps you have tried as hard as you can, and have been unable to move past the difficulties you are facing in your relationship. Or you may have given up trying to communicate with your partner and begun to consider breaking up.

Many couples wait an average of seven years before seeking help. This may be due to a reluctance to incur the expense, reluctance of a spouse or partner to participate in therapy, or other obstacles. Whatever the reason, waiting too long means that resentments can build up and hurtful patterns can become entrenched, leaving even more repair work to be done. While it is possible to make those repairs, it is much easier to address problems in their earlier phases, before they have taken on a life of their own.

If you are considering couple’s therapy, now is the time to act.

Getting Started

If you give me a call, I will provide a free twenty minute phone consultation where we can talk about how your relationship is doing, and how you would like it to be. You can decide whether couples therapy is right for you. If you feel like I would be a comfortable fit for you and/or your partner, we can schedule an appointment and move forward from there.

If you are interested in discussing couples therapy, or making a therapy appointment, please give me a call me at

650- 342-2245.

My office is conveniently located in San Mateo at 1611 Borel Place, Suite 203, just off El Camino near the intersection of Highways 92 and 101.