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8.21.2015

CRAWFORD, TEXAS (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier this morning, Former President George W. Bush ignored Republican pleas to pretend he didn't exist and publicly endorsed his brother Jeb for the Republican presidential nomination. The former president gave a press conference from his Crawford, Texas ranch and urged Americans to support Jeb, because "he is a good doobie who will be just like me."

"A vote for Jeb is pretty much a vote for a third term for yours truly. That would be me, of course," stated George W. Bush, who smiled and enthusiastically pointed at himself with both thumbs.

President Bush addressing the media at the Pentagon, September 17, 2001.(PHOTO SOURCE)

Bush added, "If you want the government in your bedroom, American ground forces back in Iraq followed by a war with Iran, and the same team of neocons I had, Jeb is your man.

The former president confessed he had advised Jeb to fly onto an aircraft carrier to declare a premature war victory because "it is awesome."

George W. Bush only responded to a handful of questions before announcing he had to leave "to finish a nude painting of Karl Rove."