If you approach an open relationship on the basis of 'our relationship isn't working, perhaps we should try an open relationship, to outsource the problems', then that is unhealthy, and the relationship is doomed to fail. Mainly because that's avoiding the issue, and is an incredibly stupid idea. However, polyamory is a mindset in the same way as monogamy is, and people can, and do, have healthy relationships in such a set up. For the polyamory-inclined people that I know, having a monogamous relationship is as difficult as difficult as monogamy-inclined people having a monogamous one. Polyamory acceptance or non-acceptance is a societal construct, but for me, I'm okay with open relationships, though I myself am a largely monogamous man._________________I am a Star Wars fan. That doesn't mean that I hate or love Jar Jar. That doesn't mean I hate or love Lucas, or agree or disagree 100% with him. That doesn't mean I prefer the PT over the OT, or vice versa. That doesn't mean I hate the EU, or even love all of it (or even read all of it). These are not prerequisites. Being a man is not a prerequisite. Being a geek is not a prerequisite. The only prerequisite is that I love something about Star Wars. I am a Star Wars fan.

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:58 pm

Message

ReepicheepMaster

Joined: 05 Feb 2008Posts: 7613Location: Sailing into the unknown

I am in the process of composing a love letter. _________________
Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 4:58 pm

Message

DancelittleewokEUC Staff

Joined: 15 Sep 2010Posts: 1213Location: Kansas

Reepicheep wrote:

I am in the process of composing a love letter.

You have a girlfriend now?_________________Observation: Life would be cooler if everyone spoke like HK-47.

Minor gripe: the professor of one of my classes held an end of the semester dinner for us. In the course of talking I found out that one of the women in my class (who I had talked to briefly prior to the dinner) lives right outside my home town. Now given that we seemed to be having a decent time talking I thought it couldn't hurt to suggest the possibility of getting together sometime over break. However, instead of coming out assertively I came out with the totally vauge "well maybe we'll run into each other at popular location X over break."

So currently hating myself for slipping into being incredibly self concious/guarded because of the presence of the professor (I have tendency to slip into that mode around my folks or any one I consider an elder/superior) resulting into an indicisive act instead of being assertive. Also wishing I had the chance to remedy my mistake but short of a unbelievably lucky encounter in the library or e-mail (of which I have my doubts that it would not be totally sketch) there will be no such chance since there are no more class meetings. _________________

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:13 pm

Message

VileZeroMaster

Joined: 21 Mar 2010Posts: 818Location: Washington DC

Salaris Vorn wrote:

Minor gripe: the professor of one of my classes held an end of the semester dinner for us. In the course of talking I found out that one of the women in my class (who I had talked to briefly prior to the dinner) lives right outside my home town. Now given that we seemed to be having a decent time talking I thought it couldn't hurt to suggest the possibility of getting together sometime over break. However, instead of coming out assertively I came out with the totally vauge "well maybe we'll run into each other at popular location X over break."

So currently hating myself for slipping into being incredibly self concious/guarded because of the presence of the professor (I have tendency to slip into that mode around my folks or any one I consider an elder/superior) resulting into an indicisive act instead of being assertive. Also wishing I had the chance to remedy my mistake but short of a unbelievably lucky encounter in the library or e-mail (of which I have my doubts that it would not be totally sketch) there will be no such chance since there are no more class meetings.

E-MAIL HER. Seriously, it's your only choice. Pick a day (like a Saturday), and shoot her an e-mail saying something like, hey I know I said maybe we'd run into each other since we live close together, but would you like to grab a coffee? What could it hurt? If you don't e-mail her, the odds of running into her are pretty small. And let's say she spurns your request - well, at least then you'll know that she wasn't the right one. But at least then you'll know.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 months now. We had English 101 together our freshman year of college, but I haven't really talked to her (and haven't seen her at all) since then. That was 7 years ago. And then we reconnected on Facebook in October, just writing back and forth on a status that I had posted. And I said, the hell with it - I'll ask her for coffee (via message, not in public). She agreed, we went out, and then we spent like 4 hours in the Starbucks, just talking and laughing. Next step was asking her to dinner (we had sushi at a great place in DC), and then it just snowballed from there.

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:36 pm

Message

Salaris VornModerator

Joined: 02 Feb 2008Posts: 2335Location: New York, USA

Hmmm well next week is finals so I know I'd have to wait a week for such a proposal to be at all rational.

In that regard I could wait until near the end of finals week and then shoot her an e-mail then. I could also wait until the following week but I'm not sure if I'd be letting too much time pass and loosing whatever small amount of momentum I may have working in my favor._________________

Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 9:45 am

Message

ReepicheepMaster

Joined: 05 Feb 2008Posts: 7613Location: Sailing into the unknown

Queen Padmè Skywalker wrote:

Good luck, Reep.

Thank you, Padme!

I've been in love with this girl forever and I think that this might just be the right thing at the right time. I'm excited/terrified. Either way, she will know how I feel about her.

@Salaris: I agree with, VZ. If an e-mail is all you can do, by all means send one. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. _________________
Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.

Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 9:52 am

Message

VileZeroMaster

Joined: 21 Mar 2010Posts: 818Location: Washington DC

Salaris Vorn wrote:

Hmmm well next week is finals so I know I'd have to wait a week for such a proposal to be at all rational.

In that regard I could wait until near the end of finals week and then shoot her an e-mail then. I could also wait until the following week but I'm not sure if I'd be letting too much time pass and loosing whatever small amount of momentum I may have working in my favor.

No, just work finals into your message and sound thoughtful. Something like, hey I know finals are coming up and you might be really busy... but if you have a little free time or if you're going crazy from studying, maybe we can grab a coffee? That says - I'd like to see you but I know now might not be the best time. I'm interested, but your studying comes first so I'll defer to your schedule.

Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:53 am

Message

Mara Jade SkywalkerAdministrator

Joined: 15 Feb 2008Posts: 6205Location: Beyond Shadows

I agree with Vile, that sounds good._________________"It's not about the legacy you leave, it's about the life you live." ~Mara Jade Skywalker

Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:43 pm

Message

ReepicheepMaster

Joined: 05 Feb 2008Posts: 7613Location: Sailing into the unknown

Okay, guys. Remember that letter I was writing (a few posts up)? There is this girl, Sara, that I've loved for a long, long time. We used to go to my church youth group together, but I haven't seen her in quite awhile. I decided to put my thoughts into words and write her a letter and send it in the mail and see what happens. Well, I never got a reply. I was pretty sure she would have said something and I wondered if my letter got lost in the mail, never reached her etc. I decided to look up her e-mail address and send her an e-mail to see what's happening. I didn't mention the letter at all, it was just a generic "Hey, haven't seen you in a while" e-mail. Anyway, minutes after I sent the e-mail I got a reply from her in my inbox. I'm scared to look. I've had an emotionally taxing day as it is, so I think I'm going to save it until tomorrow after school. Dang, I'm nervous. _________________
Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.

Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 10:29 pm

Message

Caedus_16Master

Joined: 15 Apr 2008Posts: 5226Location: Korriban

Reepicheep wrote:

Okay, guys. Remember that letter I was writing (a few posts up)? There is this girl, Sara, that I've loved for a long, long time. We used to go to my church youth group together, but I haven't seen her in quite awhile. I decided to put my thoughts into words and write her a letter and send it in the mail and see what happens. Well, I never got a reply. I was pretty sure she would have said something and I wondered if my letter got lost in the mail, never reached her etc. I decided to look up her e-mail address and send her an e-mail to see what's happening. I didn't mention the letter at all, it was just a generic "Hey, haven't seen you in a while" e-mail. Anyway, minutes after I sent the e-mail I got a reply from her in my inbox. I'm scared to look. I've had an emotionally taxing day as it is, so I think I'm going to save it until tomorrow after school. Dang, I'm nervous.

Just tossing it out there but letting it stew won't be good, you'll psych yourself out. Whether good or bad you should probably get it out of the way bro._________________Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.

Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:01 am

Message

ReepicheepMaster

Joined: 05 Feb 2008Posts: 7613Location: Sailing into the unknown

I know. I'm checking as soon as I get home from school. I just didn't want to do it right before bed._________________
Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.

Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 2:25 pm

Message

Caedus_16Master

Joined: 15 Apr 2008Posts: 5226Location: Korriban

Reepicheep wrote:

I know. I'm checking as soon as I get home from school. I just didn't want to do it right before bed.

I get that. Would have kept you up and such no matter what the response._________________Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.