I am jealous of Michael O’Leary. Very. The CEO of super-low-rent European discounter Ryanair, O’Leary has developed a reputation. He’s loud. He says what’s on his mind. He really doesn’t care what you think about him. He’s probably broken every rule of public relations and investor relations. I’ve been with Gadling since December 2008, and O’Leary has been a great source of posts every step of the way.

So, he’s the CEO and he can say what he wants. This isn’t really how it works: most CEOs have plenty of people telling them what to say and when to shut up. This is why O’Leary has it made.

And now it’s time for my confession: five reasons I’m jealous of Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair:

%Gallery-51515%1. He’s the CEO: hey, that means something to me. I wouldn’t mind being the top dog. O’Leary brings in a good living every year, and he gets to call the shots. The latter likely results from the fact that he does the former well.

3. He’s a product development genius: how many CEOs have actually suggested bundling blowjobs with their products? Or, at the other end of the spectrum, how many have suggested that their customers pay for restroom access? If I could come up with stuff like that, my days at Gadling would be nothing more than a memory.

4. He’s old school: executives tend to reprimand or even fire employees. But banishment? That’s hard core. That’s where O’Leary truly shines. Of course, it starts with an O’Leary stunt, in which he suggests that copilots could be replaced with stewardesses. Well, a pilot offended by this notion suggested that O’Leary could be replaced with a ‘probationary cabin crew member currently earning €13,200 a year.'” Don’t tangle with the master: O’Leary shipped this pilot off to Lithuania! It’s not exactly Siberia, but it sure as hell isn’t the Portugal/Spain/Italy the pilot wanted. And, “Kaunas is considered Siberia for Ryanair pilots.”

Michael O’Leary – loved, presumably, by his mother and probably not many else – truly wants passengers to pay less to fly. Of course, that’s the point of a low-cost carrier like Ryanair, right? Well, O’Leary, the airline’s CEO, loves his passengers so much that he doesn’t want them to pay taxes. At least, not the UK’s Air Passenger Duty.

Someone has to get slammed, though. If one tax goes away, there needs to be another to take its place.

Always thinking ahead, O’Leary has suggested that the burden be shifted to the hospitality industry, which could replace most of the revenue from the Air Passenger Duty with a modest levy of £1 per night on hotel rooms.

In fairness, O’Leary notes that the APD is the highest flight tax in the world, and it’s keeping people off planes. Since 2007, he told the Daily Telegraph, “Visitor numbers to Britain have fallen from 33 million to 29.5 million.” Now, the fact that the global financial crisis and subsequent recession happened during this period may (or may not) have something to do with the drop in visits to Britain, but doubtless, there’s a role in it for the tax, too.

I guess this is a case of passing the buck in the most literal of senses.

The flight attendant may be there “primarily for your safety”, but that hasn’t stopped them being included in a variety of sources to satisfy male fetishes. As early as the 30’s, the stewardess was used to market airline tickets.

Back when women’s rights were non-existent, the stewardess was not allowed to be married, had to undergo regular grooming inspections and underwear checks.

Back then, employment could be terminated for things like “a gummy smile”.

In the 70’s, times started to change, mostly thanks to the efforts of the Stewardesses for Women’s Rights – the first all-female national organization for flight attendants.

Before these changes, airlines would regularly advertise their airline by “pimping” their female flight crews. Slogans like “We Really Move Our Tails for You” and “I’m Carol, Fly Me” were considered perfectly acceptable ways to sell tickets.

In this article, we’ll take a look back at some of the ways flight attendants were portrayed in advertising for airlines, along with some sex scandals.1930’s

In this 1930’s video (with recently added narration), the airlines knew no shame in using their female employees. It took till 1972 for this to change.

1960’s

In the 60’s, anything was still possible. Hugh Hefner filled his personal DC-9 with a weekly fresh lineup of eager bunnies, and the press loved it. There was no shame in showing off his party plane, or reporting on the kind of fun he had on board.

1970’s

The start of this graduation ceremony looks more like the opening scene of Miss Universe.

1980’s

By the 80’s, the flight attendant was back to clean cut and totally sweet – the mini skirt was out, and the professional smile was in.

2000’s

By the new millennium, competition was stiff – and the Internet made it even easier for passengers to shop around. People expected a bit more shock value from their content, so this made it perfectly acceptable to show off your good looking crew (again).

Pushing the envelope

Times have changed – it is once again considered totally normal for the flight attendant to show up in Playboy. The ladies pictured above contacted Playboy for a photo shoot after they were fired by their airline as part of a reorganization.

Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary is probably the most insane airline CEO in the world – but at the same time, he’s probably one of the most brilliant. Even when global airlines went into a panic during the recent economic meltdown, his airline stayed profitable, and his numbers usually outshine those of many legacy carriers.

So, when Mr. O’Leary held a conference call with members of the press to discuss his Q3 earnings report, it was filled with everything we’ve come to expect from him.

Inside Investor Relations picked some of the juiciest quotes,including him making fun of journalists, calling claims by British Airways “bullsh*t” and mocking Air France. Their take on the call can be found here.

Mockery aside, the airline did have some bad news to report – it posted a $14 million loss in Q3 of 2010, mostly due to the major travel disruptions after record snowfall in Europe. Add the fallout from Icelandic volcano Eyjafjallajökull, and 2010 was a pretty lousy year for Ryanair.

Captain Morgan Fischer, a five year RyanAir pilot with more than 20 years of experience, is the first senior staff member to comment publicly against his employer. He wrote a letter in response to CEO O’Leary’s suggestion that a 737 aircraft only needs on pilot and a “trained flight attendant” to jump in in the case of emergency. Fischer, who is no longer with the company, is quoted in FT as saying:

“I would propose that Ryanair replace the CEO with a probationary cabin crew member currently earning approximately €13,200 net per annum,” Capt Fischer has written in a letter to the Financial Times, which reported Mr O’Leary’s comments last week.

“Ryanair would benefit by saving millions of euros in salary, benefits and stock options,” the captain said, and there would be no need for approval from the authorities.

Fischer, an American, was recently transfarred from his base in Marseilles, France to Kaunas, Lithuania after his based closed. Cooincidence? We’re not sure. But Fischer believes it’s more than just bad luck – other pilots were offered spots in Spain, France and Italy, he says. Fischer has since quit.