Daily Archives: 17 Dec 2016

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In America today what you don’t personally like is deemed ‘fake news’ and your favorite news outlet always ‘tells the truth’. This means that what Americans lack is the ability to reason. They lack, in droves, the ability to think critically. This is a huge problem and it, rather than Russia, or Trump, or Congress, or Obama, or ISIS, or the Taliban, will be our ultimate undoing.

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This past Sunday, an eight-month old Mennonite baby in Wichita, Kansas became the youngest child ever to be baptized upon confession of her faith.

“At North Wichita MBCM church we take seriously the Anabaptist teaching that people should only be baptized as a voluntary act of obedience,” said Pastor Pete. “I’m sure glad that young Sarah has expressed her desire to take this important step.”

Pastor Pete says that he asked for a show of hands a few Sundays ago and young Sarah seemed to squirm a little in her mother’s arms, which Pete took to be a clear indication that she knew and understood the full implications of her decision to commit herself to the Lord.

“Sarah is really mature for her age,” said Pastor Pete. “She seems to understand things that children twice or three times her age fail to grasp. I asked her if she understood the meaning of transubstantiation, for example, and she just gurgled a little and bobbed her head. I mean, it’s pretty clear. She gets it.”

Sarah’s parents are very proud that their daughter has decided to take this step at such a young age.

“I’m certain this baptism will be something that will guide and direct her for the rest of her life,” said her mother Susan. “Once you make a voluntary commitment like this, it’s not something you walk away from when you’re older.”

Susan says she’s already seen evidence of her daughter’s deep and meaningful faith and looks forward to seeing her mature even further once she’s potty trained.

LOL. Between the Babylon Bee and the Daily Bonnet you get all the news (read: mockery) that’s fit to print.