An asshole is just one small part of someone…

Day 469 – When you think someone is an asshole, try to remember an asshole is just one, teeny tiny part of them. I am really REALLY learning this.

Have you ever had someone turn on you for no apparent reason? You wrack your brain for some horrible action you’ve taken against them. And you come up with nuthin’, or at least nothing that you can put your finger on.

We all have assholiness moments. And they shouldn’t define us for the rest of our lives. Redemption is always possible. Hell. I’m in the process of regrouping. But during the few times someone has turned on me I still stand convinced I’ve done NOTHING that would dictate the banishment, vitriol, and hatred I encountered.

I’m human. I was wounded at first. Then I regroup. Because I don’t like to apologize for shit I didn’t do. Doesn’t mean I didn’t think about doin’ it…but that is another story.

Today, I accidentally came by a voicemail I saved so that I could remind myself “why” this person is no longer part of my life. They’d cut me off with a swift and painful cut. When I first heard the voicemail several years ago, I was wounded. Today? Nuthin’. No emotion. My cage was not rattled at all. I think I finally realized that I don’t have to waste time hating them. They were wonderful for many years – and for all I know they could be wonderful now – but I realized today that I don’t need their approval or good will. I need to stay focused on mine.

I don’t care about them enough to wish them any ill-will either. I felt so peaceful, and it was powerful to let that need for acceptance and negativity go.