In the continuing de-evolution of real men, there are arguments that this phenomenon started in the ’70s when divorces increased and boys were raised by single mothers. OK, then what explains men in their ’60s that behave like… pussies. In my case, I’m going to blame it on California, again.

I received a voice mail two days after a flight I took. Here’s a modified transcript:

“Hi Marna, this is Idiot. You sat a few rows back from me on our San Francisco shuttle. I smiled at you and you smiled back but I don’t think you recognized me.”

One date. You have salt and pepper hair and glasses and look like every other 61 year-old in Santa Barbara, that’s probably why I didn’t recognize you.

“I just though I’d call to tell you I saw you and to hope all is well in your relationship. Best. Oh, this is Idiot.”

So, here’s how this would of played out from a confident, east coast guy:

“Marna?” he says with a head tilt. “It’s Confident Guy, how are you?”

If I act like don’t know him, his response would be, “Oh, I’m sorry, you look exactly like someone I’ve met.”

Confrontation complete. No sweat. Hell, his backup plan could of been a debark, tarmac hello. You don’t call two wimpy days later and play out the scenario on voice mail…unless you are a soft beta male from California.

Today I salute you. Mr. Keep Calling Back.
(Mr. Keep Calling Back)
Armed with a cell phone, Marna’s number saved, you keep dialing.
(She’s not calling back)
Two months later, you are sure she’s still busy.
(Maybe she has a new job)
The first date was great.
(But she didn’t have a second beer)
The second date was better. You gave her a margarita and told her you couldn’t believe you were with her.
(She left to walk the dog)
A man can wait a long time for the right woman. A smart woman saves the phone number of the wrong man.
(You’re IDed dood)
So crack open an ice cold beer, Touchtone. ‘Cause we all know, you’ll never be #1 on her speed dial. She’s not calling back.
(Mr. Keep Calling Back)

About Marna

Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.