51 Days to 60

I don’t know where the time went, but in 51 days I will be 60 years old! Me and Barbie – almost twins 🙂

Looking back over my life I see a collage of events: some happy, some sad, some lonely, some exciting. All those events have led me to the person I am today.

There are times I want to linger on the mistakes of life and have a pity party. I have learned to step past that moment. Every decision I made was made with the information I had at the time. They say ‘hindsight is 20/20’ and that is true. I can look back and say what I shoulda, coulda, woulda done. That is a terrible thing to do to myself. I have details now I didn’t have then. And if I had them, I was in a different place of processing that information.

Shoulda, coulda, and woulda (and their variants) are not allowed in my vocabulary. I did such and such, now let the consequences and celebrations happen as I prepare to take the next step.

I live in the now. The past is gone. It helped to mold me, but it cannot hold me. Today is another day. And soon I will celebrate another year. It took a long time to accept ‘me’ but now I do – most of the time. God accepts me as I am, even knowing all the details I never shared with anyone. His grace has led me to this day, and will lead me through the upcoming days.