Friday, February 16, 2018

“Brit” is a Professor of Philosophy with joint appointments in the Departments of Philosophy and Psychology at the University of Miami as well as the Network for Sensory Research at the University of Toronto. Her educational background includes a medical degree in neuroscience and a doctorate in philosophy. Her areas of research include perception, synesthesia, blindsight, consciousness, neuro-psychiatry and emotions.Brit has written over 75 peer-reviewed articles, some three hundred popular articles on neuroscience and health issues and two books: Transient Truths (Oxford) and On Romantic Love (Oxford). She is currently finishing a third book with Oxford entitled Seeing and Saying as well as working on another book for popular press.Her work has been featured in various public media, including Nightline, ABC News, the Huffington Post, Fox News, MSNBC, Daily Mail, Modesto Bee, and Mumbai Mirror. She is also an editor of the international peer-reviewed philosophy journal Erkenntnis and was the first female President of the Central States Philosophical Association. Brit has fear-color/texture/shape/motion synesthesia. She has recently co-authored a book with Kristian Marlow, The Superhuman Mind, based in part on research at the lab.

On Romantic Love

By Berit Brogaard

Romantic love presents some of life's most challenging questions. Can we choose who to love? Is romantic love rational? Can we love more than one person at a time? And can we make ourselves fall out of love? Berit Brogaard here attempts to get to the bottom of love's many contradictions. This short book, informed by both historical and cutting-edge philosophy, psychology, and neuroscience, combines a new theory of romantic love with entertaining anecdotes from real life and accessible explanations of the neuroscience underlying our wildest passions. Against the grain, Brogaard argues that love is an emotion; that it can be, at turns, both rational and irrational; and that it can be manifested in degrees. We can love one person more than another and we can love a person a little or a lot or not at all. And love isn't even always something we consciously feel. However, love -- like other emotions, both conscious and not -- is subject to rational control, and falling in or out of it can be a deliberate choice. This engaging and innovative look at a universal topic, featuring original line drawings by illustrator Gareth Southwell, lluminates the processes behind heartbreak, obsession, jealousy, attachment, and more.

What Drives Romantic Attraction?

Here's a dream scenario: No more awkward first dates. If you are single and hoping not to be, you can fill out a detailed questionnaire and submit the information to a database containing similar information from other relationship seekers. A computational algorithm then determines how well you match with others in terms of your personality and what you are looking for in a potential partner. Once you have been matched with another person, all you need to do is arrange a date and go from there.

If this scenario sounds familiar, that's no coincidence: Many online dating sites provide at least some primitive version of the above scenario. People seeking relationships supply first-person insight into their personality and what they are seeking in a partner. They are then matched on the basis of this self-reported data.

As anecdotal evidence suggests, this approach can be successful. People do, occasionally, find love using online dating services.

However, the success of such services is unlikely to be a result of algorithms calculating who will be a good match for each other based on self-reports. In a recent study, published in Psychological Science in August 2017, scientists tested this sort of approach to dating and found that self-reports of personality from potential partners do not predict attraction.

The team, led by psychologist Samantha Joel of the University of Utah, asked volunteers to fill out questionnaires about their own personality traits and the traits they would like in a potential partner. The researchers then arranged four-minute, face-to-face speed dates and collected subsequent feedback about how attracted people were to their predicted matches during these brief encounters.

The researchers found that people were no more likely to be attracted to predetermined matches than they were to non-matches.

The study methodology had well-known limitations: It only allowed for testing of initial attraction, not an attraction that may emerge from repeated encounters. Further, it followed the existing online dating strategy of relying on self-reports to determine personality and the traits one would like to see manifested in a potential partner. The first limitation is not necessarily a methodological flaw, as long as we draw a sharp line between initial attraction and longer-term attraction/romantic love. The second, however, is problematic. We are often very bad judges of our own personality and the traits we want others to possess. This limitation could have been avoided to some extent by using more sophisticated measures of personality and partner preference; for instance, by relying on third-person perspectives from family members, co-workers, and friends.

If this common dating approach fails, however, it raises the question of whether there might be other ways to predict who may be successful romantic partners. Information about personality by itself is unlikely to help predict good long-term matches. But a combination of feature-matching and behavioral modification—that is, teaching people how to remain attractive to as well as attracted to their partners—may hold some promise.

Independent studies have found that long-term attraction and romantic love are more likely to occur when the attributes that generate attraction in general, together with certain social factors and circumstances that spark passion, are particularly strong.

Here are 11 features that together provide a decent indicator of who you will click with over the long term (Aron, et al. 1989):

1. Similarity. The similarity of people’s belief sets and, to a lesser extent, the similarity of their personality traits and ways of thinking.

2. Propinquity. Familiarity with the other, which can be caused by spending time together, living near the other, thinking about the other, or anticipating interaction with the other.

4. Reciprocal Liking. When the other person is attracted to you or likes you, that can increase your own liking.

5. Social Influences. The potential union satisfying general social norms, and acceptance of the potential union within one’s social network, can contribute to people falling in love. Or, if a union does not satisfy general social norms or is not accepted by one’s social network, this can result in people falling out of love.

6. Filling Needs. If a person can fulfill needs for companionship, love, sex, or mating, there is a greater chance that the other person will fall in love with him or her.

7. Arousal/Unusualness. Being in an unusual or arousing environment can spark passion, even if the environment is perceived as dangerous or spooky (Dutton & Aron, 1974).

8. Specific Cues. A particular feature of the other may spark a particularly strong attraction; for instance, parts of their body or facial features.

9. Readiness. The more you want to be in a relationship, the lower your self-esteem and the more likely you are to fall in love.

10. Isolation. Spending time alone with another person can contribute to a development of passion.

11. Mystery. Some degree of mystery surrounding the other person, as well as uncertainty about what the other person thinks or feels, or when he or she may initiate contact, can also contribute to passion.

As the list makes clear, many of the factors that determine whether people should connect romantically are circumstantial or a result of how people behave in courtships and relationships. While it may be possible for modern technology to determine partner matches by relying not just on personality, but also on people's particular circumstances, no such algorithm can provide us with the skills necessary to maintain a relationship that is both healthy and exciting. These types of relationship skills may need to be acquired through long-term practice and training.

Google+ Badge

Here's BRH Feedback--Cool!

6/17 Just saw your review on Amazon and then visited your site. Holy Smoke! As usual, I was amazed at what a fabulous job you did, reviewing the book and adding in all that related material. I was particularly thrilled that you included the book trailer I put on Utube. You adding it to your review made me very happy. In fact, I had a big smile on my face the whole time I looked at what you'd done. I even listened to the violin concerto and watched the video of Dog Hill. Every year it gets harder and harder to bring a new book to the attention of potential readers. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have you as an ally in that endeavor. Thank you so much for all you do for me and for other writers. There's no-one else like you. And that's no exaggeration.With profound gratitude, I remain, Your Friend, Don

Thank you. Your commitment to your craft is wonderful. Whether it's one star or 5, your reviews are detailed, considerate, and most of all, beneficial to the prospective reader.

What an amazing presentation. Stellar. I never expected anything like that.

Do you have a separate link that I can share? I'd love to post this everywhere I can. You did such a fabulous job.cheers Connie

Thank you so much for your glowing review of my new book. Your review really highlighted all the things that I try to incorporate in my books - they're the very things I want as a reader. I'm nearly finished writing the next book in the series - Walker and Munoz are back, and interestingly as you referenced in your review, this time it's personal. Again, thank you.

I'd read your amazing review before I looked at my Facebook page and was blessed. Hitting the link you posted, I was surprised for few would have gone to so much trouble, fewer still know that Lauren Bacall (born Betty Joan Perske) was Sephardic and bequeathed a large amount of primary source information about the Sephardim to a university, which I was able to view online when corroborating Naomi's story. Your review stands as one of the highlights of this profoundly dyslectic authors’ life. Thank & bless you heart emoticon

I thought I'd reach out to you for your heartfelt review on my novel. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes that someone was so moved by my tale... That it resonated that deeply with someone. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. Signed...

Wow, this is the most awesome blog post I've ever seen. Thank you for writing it! grin emoticon

I was thrilled with the details you offered in my review - like a literary movie trailer built on suspense and intrigue. I'm glad you're still reviewing books by aspiring authors like me. We need people like you! Keep up the good work and maintain that passion, Glenda!

Words fail me. Hi Glenda, I visited your review website today and was thrilled to see your marvelous features relating to Ms. Cramer's book. I passed them along to the author, and she is very excited and deeply grateful for your attention.

Your review of the book is wonderfully anecdotal and insightful, and it will be helpful I believe as an introduction to readers approaching Ms. Cramer's work for the first time. I found the opening of the review to be quite touching, with a wonderful sense of personal experience that I believe is all too often missing in critical review publication. In the context of the article, your remembrances from childhood add a truly beautiful layer to the photopoem you present.We're very impressed by what you put together using the press kit materials, and we will do our best to provide exposure for your features through our mailing list and other avenues.I do look forward to reading your articles in the future.We appreciate your considering our book and thank you very much for your fine and generous review coverage,

Saw the review and treatment of THE BLOOD BETRAYAL on your site. Once again, you've amazed me with what you do. Fantastic, fabulous… No, those words aren't good enough to describe your work and you.

I wrote up a short piece about what you did, directing people to your site from mine. That was really interesting and something I've never seen anyone do before. Great job, and I'm glad you enjoyed the novel.

Yo my truly heartfelt thank you for your very generous and kind review! I appreciate very much the time and effort you put into this review for me, and your so graciously posting it in multiple locations.

Your blogsite is extremely professional and well-done! What you posted for me there has completely blown me away!

Thank you again very much for such a comprehensive and thoroughly entertaining review. It's one of the best reviews I have received and I'm very proud to have it. Most Gratefully,

Glenda, You review blew my mind. When I listened to the songs you inserted, they brought tears to my eyes. You added a dimension to my work that was missing. In the attachment I have attempted to answer your question about anger. Thank you so much for your raving review. There are no words in the English language to express the gratitude I feel for you. I wish you a wonderful and blessed day.

I've been sitting in my chair for nearly fifteen minutes, stuck in an infinite loop of visual digestion and stunned amazement because of what you put together on your site for The Doppler Affect review. The time alone that you put into crafting the page is humbling, but the creativity and flair adds a layer I've never seen in reviews. Of course, the frosting of your very positive evaluation makes it the best cake I've eaten yet! I was also amazed at how you could step away from any biases due to your preferred genre and frame it for others...thank you. My newest book, Patriot's Point, will be released imminently. The publisher wants to know if I knew of any one in particular who has blogs or review sites that I would want to use. I immediately thought of you. Thanks, Doug

Glenda, I am truly in awe of your reviews and your review style. I have never seen anyone do a review as you can do one. I was entertained, informed, enlightened and amazed. There should be awards for creative, insightful and captivating reviews -- and you should be a recipient. Thanks for reviewing my book. And thanks for giving it an aura and image and feel that only your review could give it. I am very appreciative. All the best, Patrick

During the period of time that you requested my story, I also had other blog sites asking for the book as well. I had received three eviews prior to yours, and although I am very happy to report that all three were positive and enthusiastic, your entire presentation of the book, from the actual commentary to the ambitious visuals, blew me away and has left me emotionally weak-kneed in gratitude. I am extremely touched by all that you had to say and how you visually presented the concept of the book. Please note that I will place your website on the book's Facebook page which will hopefully bring your blog site more readership. Again, please know how grateful I am for your emotionally thrilling review. You have certainly made my day, Glenda! With much appreciation, Author/The Poe Consequence

I wanted to make sure I got a chance to properly thank you for posting the wonderful review of The Medici Boy! It was terrific, not just because you like the book (thank you) but because your analysis was thoughtful and honest. You put your heart into it, (Photos were out of this world) and you wrote like a friend would (we think that’s the very best kind of review). I appreciate your time and passion for literature! We’ve been promoting the site, since you went live, and we’re going to continue to promote your site on Social Media throughout the month. Senior Publicist Blue Dot Literary

Dear Glenda, I have to start this response with a BIG WOW! I have been very gratified with my experience as a new writer for both my books now and am working on a third. However, your review is like nothing I've ever seen, and I consider it a great piece of writing and creativity in itself. Thank you so very much for your kind words and treatment of Millstone. Once again, thank you for this review. I plan to pass it on in every venue available to me. My best wishes to you JackH

Thank you so much for your glowing review of my new book. Your review really highlighted all the things that I try to incorporate in my books - they're the very things I want as a reader. I'm nearly finished writing the next book in the series - Walker and Munoz are back, and interestingly as you referenced in your review, this time it's personal. Again, thank you.

I'd read your amazing review before I looked at my Facebook page and was blessed. Hitting the link you posted, I was surprised for few would have gone to so much trouble, fewer still know that Lauren Bacall (born Betty Joan Perske) was Sephardic and bequeathed a large amount of primary source information about the Sephardim to a university, which I was able to view online when corroborating Naomi's story. Your review stands as one of the highlights of this profoundly dyslectic authors’ life. Thank & bless you heart emoticon

I thought I'd reach out to you for your heartfelt review on my novel. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes that someone was so moved by my tale... That it resonated that deeply with someone. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. Signed...

JAFV I am stunned...

Wow, this is the most awesome blog post I've ever seen. Thank you for writing it! grin emoticon

I was thrilled with the details you offered in my review - like a literary movie trailer built on suspense and intrigue. I'm glad you're still reviewing books by aspiring authors like me. We need people like you! Keep up the good work and maintain that passion, Glenda!

Words fail me.

Hi Glenda, I visited your review website today and was thrilled to see your marvelous features relating to Ms. Cramer's book. I passed them along to the author, and she is very excited and deeply grateful for your attention.

Your review of the book is wonderfully anecdotal and insightful, and it will be helpful I believe as an introduction to readers approaching Ms. Cramer's work for the first time. I found the opening of the review to be quite touching, with a wonderful sense of personal experience that I believe is all too often missing in critical review publication. In the context of the article, your remembrances from childhood add a truly beautiful layer to the photopoem you present.We're very impressed by what you put together using the press kit materials, and we will do our best to provide exposure for your features through our mailing list and other avenues.I do look forward to reading your articles in the future.We appreciate your considering our book and thank you very much for your fine and generous review coverage,

Saw the review and treatment of THE BLOOD BETRAYAL on your site. Once again, you've amazed me with what you do. Fantastic, fabulous… No, those words aren't good enough to describe your work and you.

I wrote up a short piece about what you did, directing people to your site from mine. That was really interesting and something I've never seen anyone do before. Great job, and I'm glad you enjoyed the novel.

..my truly heartfelt thank you for your very generous and kind review! I appreciate very much the time and effort you put into this review for me, and your so graciously posting it in multiple locations.

Your blogsite is extremely professional and well-done! What you posted for me there has completely blown me away!

Thank you again very much for such a comprehensive and thoroughly entertaining review. It's one of the best reviews I have received and I'm very proud to have it. Most Gratefully,

You review blew my mind. When I listened to the songs you inserted, they brought tears to my eyes. You added a dimension to my work that was missing. In the attachment I have attempted to answer your question about anger. Thank you so much for your raving review. There are no words in the English language to express the gratitude I feel for you. I wish you a wonderful and blessed day. James Womack

WOW! What a beautiful post you did for ALMOST PERFECT ON YOUR I can’t imagine how much time you must have taken to create some thing so imaginative and special. I feel truly humbled and touched and quite unequal to saying how much it meant to me. A real present. You must be a very special person. I wish you were my neighbor and we could have a real chat over coffee. Maybe someday. But meanwhile know how wonderful your work made me feel and buoyed to keep on keeping on! Diane

I wanted to make sure I got a chance to properly thank you for posting the wonderful review of The Medici Boy! It was terrific, not just because you like the book (thank you) but because your analysis was thoughtful and honest. You put your heart into it, (Photos were out of this world) and you wrote like a friend would (we think that’s the very best kind of review). I appreciate your time and passion for literature! We’ve been promoting the site, since you went live, and we’re going to continue to promote your site on Social Media throughout the month. Senior Publicist Blue Dot Literary