We can do it!

Emily Maguire -Feb 3, 2013

Show of solidarity … but feminists are divided on the role of men in their movement. (Illustration by Christopher Nielsen/The Jacky Winter Group)

As a teenager, Ben McKenzie was certain that women and girls were equal to boys and men. "It wasn't an ideal presented to me," says actor and comedian McKenzie. "It was my reality. I grew up knowing so many great women family members, teachers, parents of friends and friends ... They were obviously my equals, in many cases my betters."

But in his late teens "two things showed me that the wider world was different" when it came to attitudes about women. First, a female classmate dropped out because "girls in her family weren't allowed to finish school". Then, during a brief period at an all-boys' boarding school, he noticed his fellow students drooling over a picture of his female friends as "hot babes".

But McKenzie didn't think of himself as a feminist until he read Bell Hooks's Feminism Is for Everybody in his late 20s. "One of the first things I remember it saying was 'just as women can be sexist, men can be feminists', and I remember thinking, 'Oh, yeah.' " McKenzie, now 33, felt the book was "like an invitation to not just avoid being part of the problem, but actually sign up to be part of the solution as well".

He started by reading feminist blogs and articles and by attending Cherchez la Femme, a monthly "feminism in the pub" discussion started by Melbourne activist Karen Pickering. Before long he became actively involved in feminist events, eventually becoming an assistant producer at Cherchez la Femme and an organiser of Melbourne's 2012 SlutWalk against sexual violence and victim blaming.

Senthorun Raj's activism started a little earlier. As a student at the exclusive Sydney Grammar School, Raj was known to his classmates as "the gender dude".

"I was all 'What about women in the war?' and 'Why are the historians male?' " He thinks now that his interest in the roles of women may have "reflected some of my own concerns about being queer or gay".

His teachers encouraged his quest and provided feminist books and resources, and now, at 23, Raj is the managing editor of the website Men and Feminism (mfeminism.com).

The fact that Raj and McKenzie are men makes them atypical feminists. But they are not isolated outposts; it's rare now to attend a feminist event or take part in a feminist discussion at which men are not present. Meanwhile, male-led movements in support of women's rights, such as White Ribbon Day and Men Can Stop Rape, are becoming increasingly mainstream.

Despite all this activity, the question of whether men can actually be feminists remains somewhat controversial. Comedian and writer Corinne Grant, who wrote a piece for the online magazine The Hoopla questioning the motives of men who claim to be feminists, maintains that feminism is "a women's movement".

She prefers the term "supporters of feminism" and thinks that men who insist on self-identifying with the F-word "probably need to readjust their feminist thinking". Grant's objection is largely based on the recognition that "even in the most female-dominated industries, like nursing and teaching, it is men who are predominantly in the top positions. We don't want men becoming the predominant voices in feminism as well."

It's a legitimate concern. Michael Flood, senior lecturer in sociology at the University of Wollongong, reports that men speaking on feminist issues are generally taken more seriously than women doing the same. Indeed, even within Women and Gender Studies programs, male professors are typically "evaluated by [both male and female] students as less biased and more competent than female professors". In other words, there's a real risk that men speaking on feminism will be automatically perceived as leaders or authorities due to the very sexism they are attempting to address by speaking as feminists in the first place.

Most feminist women have at least one story of a man who claimed to be a feminist in order to ingratiate himself sexually or otherwise. The view expressed by Kathy Lette during a panel at the 2012 Sydney Writers' Festival that "any man who calls himself a feminist usually just wants a more intelligent bonk" is not uncommon.

Then there are the men Grant describes as "the type of male 'feminist' who tells me that I'm doing feminism wrong and he knows more about it than I do". Frequently found first in line for the microphone during question time at feminist events, this man is quick to define himself as a feminist and even quicker to tell the women present how wrong they are about everything. "Honestly, if you genuinely think lecturing women on their own movement and telling them how to run it is somehow feminist, you've completely missed the point," says Grant.

Suspicion of men interested in women's rights is not limited to those who insist on self-identifying as feminists, though. In his conversations both in and out of academia, Flood has found that while many feminist women respond to him with some variation of "I wish there were more men like you", others challenge his right to be speaking about women's issues at all. "It's like, 'Who the hell are you?' "

It's a tricky position to be in: stuck between benefiting from sexist ideas about men as being more authoritative, even as you speak out against sexism, or being silent out of fear that, as a man, it's not your place to comment.

Raj and McKenzie both display hyper-awareness of the potential to be seen as "white knights" or "mansplainers". According to Raj, the key is "to recognise your own privilege, recognise your own position ... and avoid being paternalistic or like, 'I know better than you.' "

Each also believes that there are some campaigns and spaces in which men should absent themselves. Reclaim the Night, a march protesting about violence against women, for example, has traditionally been a women-only event, with male supporters either walking at the back or lining the route in solidarity. This, says McKenzie, is totally appropriate. "That movement is all about the fact that women should be able to be out at night - it's saying 'this is our space as much as yours'. Having men there dilutes the message."

But if some feminist women are wary about men's place in the movement, many non-feminists are simply bewildered. If feminism is about women's rights, they wonder, what on earth are men doing getting involved?

"It's that old thing – none are free until all are free," McKenzie says. "It's about empathy. You don't have to be a person who's oppressed or discriminated against to understand that it's wrong."

The other big reason for men to support feminism is self-interest. Flood lists "more equal and trusting relationships" and "having the women and girls in their lives being free from violence and being free to participate in public life" among the many benefits feminism offers men.

But if men need feminism, does feminism need men? Flood is unequivocal on the question: men's involvement in bringing about gender equality is "absolutely critical", he says. "Unless we engage men in gender equality we will fail."

Indeed, given that men make up half the population and continue to hold most of the political, economic and social power in our society, the involvement of at least a good proportion of them is essential to any society-wide change. Meanwhile, however, there is still loads of work to be done (preventing sexual violence, closing the pay gap and the nationwide decriminalisation of abortion, for starters).

"The vocal minority only get their way because the majority who don't agree don't say anything," says McKenzie. "So if you disagree with sexism, if you disagree with injustice towards women, say something. Speak up. Just do it."