"Totally coup, yo."

Brian Dooley is the director of the Human Rights Defenders program at Human Rights First. He has worked with several Irish and international non-governmental organizations including Amnesty International and Public Citizen. In the early 1980s he defied the apartheid laws in South Africa by working as a community organizer and English teacher in a South African black township. Recently he was denied entry to Bahrain. We talk about the ongoing human rights crisis in that country and what can be done to stop it.

“We’ll talk later, my agent is on the other line for a role in a movie that hasn’t been made 135,000 times before.”

0-15:00 That guy from that French movie is in charge of a fantasy baseball team and he gets kicked out of the stadium for his “team” because it’s closed. Also, he’s drinking absinthe straight from the bottle and has puked over most of row D-23. After bailing him out, his buddy has an intervention and asks him if he wants to try managing his baseball team or something to help get his mind of drinking in empty stadiums by himself at night all the time. When he gets there he learns The Establishment of Baseball doesn’t care about whether or not the players can actually play baseball. They decide who gets on their team based solely on their blood types and astrological signs.

Last October there was a Halloween parade in central Pennsylvania where a guy named Ernie Perce dressed up as Zombie Mohammed, as one does. Talaag Elbayomy, an outraged local Muslim attacked him and Perce reported to incident to police in the area. They then arrested Elbayomy for harassment. This is pretty much what one would expect to happen. It’s sad that Elbayomy reacted in the way he did, but at least justice was served in the end. Right?

Asian basketball guy > GOP debate

When I got home the other night, and prepared to sit on my ass for another lazy evening of television viewing, there was one question that immediately crossed my mind: Would I rather watch a gaggle of assholes who have no chance whatsoever of becoming president argue about who hates women and gays the most for the ten trillionth time, or do I watch the most awesome sports story in about a decade?

I first heard about Alex Jones during one of my first breaks home from college, catching up with a friend from high school. He went to college in Meadville, PA, at the same school which after one semester drove Trent Reznor into the happening nightlife of Cleveland and probably fueled his angst-based career for the next 20 years.

Reflections, ruminations, and several lengthy digressions

So it’s been a year since I pranked Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker posing as tea party sugar daddy David Koch. At the time, Koch told the New York Times, “I didn’t even know [Walker's] name before this brouhaha erupted.” That seemed improbable. Recently, Koch told the Palm Beach Post, “What Scott Walker is doing with the public unions in Wisconsin is critically important. He’s an impressive guy and he’s very courageous.” He also told the reporter, “We’ve spent a lot of money in Wisconsin. We’re going to spend more.” That’s more like it.

0-15:00 So there’s this conservative Christian family in the 50s or 60s and they found out their son just went and got a sex change operation. They have a neighborhood prayer meeting in the hopes she would go to Marcus Bachmann’s recovery center. Half a century later the other brother is all grown up and starts thinking about growing up with his brother / now sister. He gets all creeped out by it because he’s still a trans-phobic Christian asshole. So he drunk dials his dad and makes fun of his toupee.

An Educational Guest Post By Dana Loesch

You might not know it by looking at me, but I am a very sexual creature. And over the course of a long and passionate sex life, let’s just say that I’ve amassed a trove of knowledge that wouldn’t be appropriate to share with my CNN viewers, Big Journalism readers, or my radio listeners. Serious lovemaking knowledge.

Dave Silverman is the President of American Atheists. BEAST contributor and stand-up comic Joe Dixon joins in and we talk to him about atheism and some fun upcoming events for secular activists like the Reason Rally, which is March 24 in Washington, DC. Joe wonders aloud what Silverman’s penis looks like, and later Josh gets all reactionary and starts yelling about how atheism is a “choice.” Except not really.

Music is by Pigface and is used with permission. You can subscribe to the BEASTcast by using this link in iTunes or any other podcast subscription software.

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