An elderly lady was proud of being a virgin. Before she passed away, she issued strict instructions to the funeral director regarding her headstone.
"I want it to read: "Born a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin"
When she died, the funeral director relayed the orders to the men inscribing her headstone. But they were lazy, and instead of carving out the full inscription, they just wrote 'Returned unopened' :p