Raising Awareness of Mental Health

​I take a deep breath as I sit down to try and write this essay. It’s about the fifth time I’ve started. Hopefully this time I won’t give up (edit: 6 months on and another ten drafts later- hopefully today’s the day). I am quite accustomed to writing about controversial topics but this is a little different.

Every previous attempt has sounded critical of people who don’t deserve criticism and this really goes against what I try to do. Given how uncomfortable I am writing this essay, it might make some people a little uncomfortable reading it too. I think it probably should make confronting and uncomfortable reading for a lot of people and while this is reluctantly done on purpose, I want to make it clear again this is not a criticism of any person, initiative or behaviour. It is an invitation to consider if we can do more.

So I’ve certainly danced around actually saying anything for another couple of paragraphs. Time to get to the point.

Destigmatising mental healthThere are a lot of initiatives out there with the intention of promoting awareness and destigmatising mental illness, especially depression. Like anyone else who uses social media, I am regularly exhorted to ‘like and share’ and post to show my support for mental health (spoiler alert- I neither like nor share because I have a different way of showing I care) as well as other online challenges. Back in in the real world we are regularly reminded of the importance of mental health by events such as Movember and various fundraisers for organisations such as Speak up Stay ChatTY.

So let me say again, I’m not critical of this goal or anything done to this end. Far from it. There is an important message in encouraging people to be open about their mental health battles and encouraging others to be respectful and supportive of them (if you haven’t seen it yet get around Ben Hirst’s third incredible Run for Mental Health challenge coming up later in the year). I am actually also on the organising committee for the Matthew Millhouse Salutewhich raises funds for White Cloud Foundation, a group founded to provide help to those with mental illness, so what I will write next applies to me as much as anyone else.

Admittedly I’m not a sufferer of mental illness myself, but I have been very involved with a number of friends and family in their ongoing fight for mental wellbeing; and every time the newest effort comes to prominence, I have pretty much the same thought.

Is there still a stigma?I wonder whether the battle to destigmatise mental illness is mostly won. Well maybe not won, but perhaps it is now the wrong fight. In years gone by, it was rare for anyone to admit to much difficulty with their mental health, without feeling like you had to pry pretty hard or unless it was super obvious. And that was understandable. The broader environment at the time was not exactly receptive or understanding (it was only a few years ago David Warner sledged Jonathon Trott about his mental health to general indifference from the media), hence the importance of things like Stay ChatTY encouraging us to talk more and pay more attention to each other.

Since then, the environment I spoke of appears to have changed- for the better. It could be a coincidence of timing but in recent years a number of people have quite freely volunteered information about their own mental health battles to me with little shame or embarrassment. Whilst there remains some uncertainty and awkwardness around how to help, I suggest you would now be hard pressed to find people who wouldn’t attempt to act with respect and sensitivity towards anyone with a mental illness.

This shows that the messages of successive awareness campaigns have hit home. It is widely understood now that mental illness is no more shameful or embarrassing than a physical illness (meaning not at all) and that it is both very common and often treatable. These are certainly important messages, but in our efforts to repeat these largely accepted truths, there is a jarring lack of discussion or awareness for the impact our own daily actions can have on mental health of those around us. I also worry that if people keep publicly proclaiming the need to break down negative public perceptions around mental health, the unintended corollary is that this stigma must still exist; so I’m not sure such statements are as encouraging or helpful to mental health sufferers as people think.

But actions speak louder than words so when we act like mental illness is common and treatable we really show that we mean it. Pleasingly, the increasingly common high profile public admissions of mental health challenges in the contemporary media landscape are generally met without the sensationalism you might expect. This uncharacteristic level of restraint and sympathy from the media demonstrates our acceptance of mental illness as much as any targeted public campaign, without needing to overstate any remaining stigma around the subject.

But this is also where the problem starts for me. The way the blowtorch of public scrutiny and ridicule will be applied relentlessly to someone until their mental health deteriorates is illustrative of the vast discrepancy between how we feel we can treat someone who is unwell, compared to when we don’t know the status of their mental health (even though they may still be unwell). If we really want to consider ourselves as a society that takes mental illness seriously, this needs to change. Reporting around Gary Lyon and Barnaby Joyce are two recent examples of this. But this isn't just about the media and celebrities- it is also very true of how a lot of people act towards each other in daily life. We seem to assume and even demand a high level of competence and resilience in the people around us (which is often inaccurate) and show little tolerance for failure, before rapidly changing our behaviour after a person hits breaking point. So let me say this very clearly: You don’t need to confirm someone has a mental illness before you treat them with respect or compassion!

Destigmatising or Educating?I'm not sure this message is getting out strongly enough so perhaps instead of talking destigmatising mental illness, we need to think about educating people about mental health in a much more holistic way.

I touched on this topic a couple of years ago when I explained why I would not participate in the 22 push up challenge. It’s not that difficult to publicly promote awareness of mental illness and support charities, but if we really want to make a difference, we need to turn that awareness back on ourselves and what we are doing to help in our daily lives- and this is harder.

Once it takes hold, mental illness can be hard to fight and for all their best intentions, friends can often do little but offer understanding. And all the awareness-raising and destigmatising in the world does little to help. Many mental illnesses are certainly treatable, but they can be long battles for the sufferers. By contrast, it can take a fraction of the effort to help someone before they reach a mental health crisis.

So if we were really mindful of mental health and mental illness, we wouldn’t wait until we knew someone was struggling. We would be cognisant of the mental health of those around us all the time and would be very cautious taking actions that could negatively affect it. If your behaviour is toxic and harmful to people around you, it really doesn't matter how many mental health fundraisers and initiatives you are part of- you cannot say that you take mental health seriously.

Your words and actions can degrade mental health If you have been driven to a nervous breakdown through a stressful situation partially brought on by others, you can may regain your health but you can’t totally erase the pain and anguish of that time. So the demands and stressors we place on friends, teammates and especially work colleagues need to be carefully considered. This includes the need to tolerate mistakes and move on, instead of continuing to punish someone for them long after the fact. Sometimes we are not even the ones causing the stress, but we may have the opportunity to intervene to lighten someone’s load, speak out against bullying or just offer a sympathetic ear.

Another behaviour to consider is the playful banter and teasing that is common amongst friends and colleagues throughout this country and usually harmless for all involved. But when someone admits to being impacted by it (or even just appears uneasy with it), we need to listen. This is not the time to tell people to toughen up or make sarcastic comments about ‘PC culture’. If someone tells you they don’t like the jokes you are making about them, PAY ATTENTION. If you don’t change your behaviour after being given this kind of information, don’t pretend you take mental illness seriously.

But your words and actions can also bolster mental healthBut not being a jerk to others is just scratching the surface of what we could do if really care about their wellbeing. We can also make greater effort to reach out and include others. RUOK Day is a good start in this regard, but it still reinforces the idea that you only need to worry about people when they aren’t okay, when if we made more effort for people all the time, perhaps less people would need more dramatic interventions (I actually have a fair bit more I want to write about RUOK Day but I'll save that for another article).

If one of your friends is a little awkward and doesn’t get out much (sorry introverts I know some of you actually would love to be left alone), it is a minor effort on your part to make the effort to invite them to join in social activities you are involved in. Maybe they say yes. Maybe they say no, but at least they feel a little bit more included.

Perhaps one of your friends always says no. You can give up, you can keep inviting them so that they know they are not forgotten; or - going a little further- think why they never want to join in and change the activity you are proposing.

While much of the cause of mental illness is admittedly related to brain chemical imbalances, external factors such as stress, loneliness, substance abuse and isolation can also contribute. Accordingly, I truly believe that some simple interventions from a friend can be the difference between someone spiralling into a mental health crisis and not.

Don’t be a martyrIn daily life we have countless interactions with other people. So many of these interactions are opportunities to have a positive impact on someone else. But there are a couple of caveats here I need to stress. Firstly, it’s not your responsibility to help everyone- or even anyone. You can’t be there for everyone all the time because sometimes you have to be there for yourself. You also can’t expect yourself to pick up every cue from those around you, so don’t give yourself a hard time when you realise someone has been struggling without you even realising.

Moreover, for all your best intentions, accept that sometimes your efforts won’t make a difference. I have to reiterate that mental illness is a complex problem. For someone whose mental health is wavering, you may be the positive force they need to make a difference for themselves, but for someone with a diagnosed psychological condition you are not going to ‘fix’ it through your actions. Your efforts may lower a person’s temporary distress or anxiety, but at other times they may have no impact or may be rebuffed. It’s important to face this reality and not place too much expectation on either yourself or anyone else you seek to help.

Could a pinch of prevention be worth a pound of cure?Mental health is a fragile and precious commodity. I don’t ever want to criticise people who seek to help others, but I feel the amount of attention that goes towards spreading awareness and destigmatising mental illness jarringly misses the chance to speak more broadly about the breadth of opportunities we have to impact mental health- both positively and negatively. Whilst I admire the passion and selflessness of those who constantly give of themselves for these causes, the people I admire most really walk the walk in their own lives as well. They have empathy and tolerance for others and are generous with their time, their energy and their words. If we were all to learn a little more from their actions and become a bit more mindful of the mental health of everyone around us- not just those obviously close to breaking point- we might stop some mental illnesses ever developing.