This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. To order presentation-ready copies of Toronto Star content for distribution to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com

One of the unexpected joys of parenting is the many Parent-Friends I’ve made over the years.

I’m referring to the friends and acquaintances (mostly moms for some reason) made while waiting for my kids at community centres, pools, baseball fields, neighbourhood parks and school events.

As an adult, there are few opportunities to meet new people or make new friends. I travel in familiar circles of home, work, friends and family, rarely venturing outside my comfortable groove. New Parent-Friends are the exception, often people I would never have met if it weren’t for my kids’ interest in a particular sport or hobby.

My first set of Parent-Friends came out of a mom-and-baby yoga class when I was on maternity leave with Mustafa, more than a decade ago. All new mothers, we bonded during warrior pose, our bewildering new infants by our side. We hung out at mom-and-baby salsa classes, Stroller Fit in the park, picnic lunches and child-friendly movie dates, swapping labour war stories and battling mommy-guilt. That early support made maternity leave easier.

Of course, not every interaction turns into a Parent-Friend. Sometimes it’s just friendly chatting as we watch our kids pitch or practise taekwondo. Other times we graduate to exchanging phone numbers and cracking jokes on social media. And sometimes a Parent-Friend is fleeting — it lasts as long as a swimming season, or until Ibrahim decides to forego soccer for tennis. But when that acquaintance unexpectedly blossoms into friendship, the symbiotic relationship is wonderful in its low-maintenance, casual grace. Everyone knows the score: Our kids brought us together, and the benefits are clear.

Article Continued Below

For one, Parent-Friends have your back. When my neighbour went to Pakistan to visit her sick mother, she asked me to keep an eye on her kids, who are friends with my own. In turn, I send my kids to her house when I need last-minute after-school help. Another Parent-Friend advises me on summer camp opportunities and the best place to go for indoor Nerf fun.

Parent-Friends just get it. When Ibrahim announces he has a math test, like, now, only he kinda sorta lost the review sheet, I text his best friend’s mother for details. I know I can count on her to give me the scoop, and she will listen to me gripe without judgment. I’ll return the favour soon enough.

Parent-Friends are windows to new worlds. My sons’ school friends live nearby, and during warmer months they play basketball on my driveway, cricket on another’s, or share baseball equipment for a pickup game at the park. Despite the differences in language, religion, culture and experience, all the parents watch out for each other’s kids.

If it wasn’t for my kids’ networking, I would never have made the acquaintance of so many neighbours. Now we nod and smile when we meet at school. The shared piping-hot halwa puri (a deep-fried South Asian dessert that is time-consuming to make) is just one delicious result.

There is an unspoken understanding between us: Our children are native to this street; we are the immigrants, passing the torch just as our own parents did.

Last year, I attended a fundraiser at the Aga Khan Museum. I brought along my mom as my plus-one, and spent the night introducing her to friends and acquaintances. “Look at how things change,” she said on the drive home. “You used to tag along with me, and now you’re introducing me as your guest.”

The Star’s Judith Timson quoted Pulitzer-Prize winning author Tracy Kidder in a December 2016 column that has stuck with me ever since:

“Many people find it easy to imagine unseen webs of malevolent conspiracy in the world, and they are not always wrong. But there is also an innocence that conspires to hold humanity together, and it is made of people who can never fully know the good that they have done.”

I’m grateful for the Parent-Friends in my life, past and present, who help make the isolating job of parenting easier and more fun in so many little, crucial ways.

Uzma Jalaluddin is a high school teacher in the York Region. She writes about parenting and other life adventures. Reach her at ujalaluddin@outlook.com

More from the Toronto Star & Partners

LOADING

Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or distribution of this content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto Star Newspapers Limited and/or its licensors. To order copies of Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com