Wednesday, July 12, 2017

"Sex & the City"and me

I was recently watching the new CNN series about "The Nineties," which started with a two-hour episode about 1990s TV shows. One of the shows they featured was "Sex & the City."

Somehow, I never became a regular SATC-watcher -- even though many of my friends raved about it and told me I should watch it, and I still, somehow, got to know who all the characters were and some of the plot lines. I did see a couple of episodes in reruns years later (no doubt censored).

Then, on the screen, they showed the date SATC debuted: June 6, 1998.

Well, that explained it.

The debut of "Sex & the City" coincided with my roller coaster pregnancy with Katie & its aftermath. In early June 1998, I did the triple screen blood test, followed by an ultrasound -- both of which indicated some abnormalities, and led to genetic counselling, amniocentesis and the shadow of a potential termination looming over us, all before the end of the month.

Clearly, I had other stuff on my mind at the time, and while perhaps I could have used something frivolous as a distraction, SATC somehow never quite struck a chord with me, and I never got into the habit of watching it.

I guess there's always Netflix... ;)

Did you ever watch "Sex & the City"? Did loss &/or infertility interfere with your enjoyment of any TV shows that everyone else was watching & loved?

12 comments:

I did watch it (though I don't recall watching it regularly). It was probably on around when I was ttcing, and going through ectopic losses. I quite liked the way they dealt with Charlotte's infertility in the TV series. So I was pretty disgusted in the movie when she had a "miraculous" natural conception (post-adoption) and baby. Ugh.

The evening I was at the hospital to get the injection to end/treat my first ectopic pregnancy Mr Bean was playing on the TV in the waiting room. Not that I was ever a huge fan of Mr Bean, but for years they replayed Mr Bean every Christmas, and for years I couldn't bear the thought of it.

They used to show the Mr. Bean Christmas special every year on Air Canada when we were flying home to visit my family for Christmas (in the days when everyone watched the same movie/show & you didn't have a choice). Try as I might, I couldn't help but crack up every time he got that stupid gigantic turkey stuck on his head!!

I've never seen an episode of Sex in the City. Admittedly it debuted during the summer between my junior and senior years of high school so I was probably a bit young for the target demographic. The next year I went off to college and had better things to do. :)

In the midst of infertility, one of my (then) favorite shows, NCIS had a story line about one of the characters (Jimmy, Ducky's assistant) and his wife pursing adoption, and in a plot twist at the end of one episode he found out that his wife was pregnant. I was like "nope" and haven't watched the show since. Which is sad because I really liked that show.

I did watch SATC, a bit later, because Eastern Europe. But still. It was nice to see something else, a series that showed women in charge of their lives, more or less. With fun and sad parts, just like in real life. I did not really identify with any of the characters, because I have never been like anyone on that show. But it was fun to watch.Charlotte had some TTC problems, didn't she? I forgot. I might be wrong, but didn't she adopt? Anyway.

I stopped liking the character Lane in Gilmore girls after she got pregnant with twins after her first time ever. I mean, seriously ��. That story line was very poorly done.

Yes I did like SATC... I loved the last two (longer-length) episodes before it finished, where Miranda takes in Steve's mum (very moving), and Carrie goes to Paris with that horrible little man. I had them on my DVR for a while and watched them once or twice like a stand-alone film. They were far superior to the crappy movies that followed, SATC1 & 2. I too was outraged, disgusted and appalled when Charlotte had a stupid miracle pregnancy. The characters and some plotlines were certainly cliched (especially Samantha) and it was sometimes annoying, but there was something compelling about it. It was easy to watch. Carrie was just coolness, really. Compared to some of the sentimental, family-centred slush that comes out now, like This Is Us, it was great. I haven't seen Girls so can't compare to that, but it seemed fresh and bold at the time.

I felt like I knew where this post was going before I read the whole thing, especially when you mentioned the timing of SATC. It's practically impossible to "unknowingly" these situations, no matter how random the associations may seem to others.

The show that for me now I can't partake in is "This Is Us". Everyone is flipping out about it, but there's a plot that involves a couple having triplets, one of them dying and then they adopt another child right from the hospital (because yeah THAT happens in real life). I don't appreciate the perpetuation of adoption myth coupled with how "real" everyone says this show is. Maybe it would be tolerable in the context of the show, but I'm not willing to find out.

I haven't been able to watch that one either, even those several of my loss mom friends love it & say it's well done & (relatively) realistic (at least in terms of the emotions around pregnancy loss & adoption)(yeah, adopting another baby immediately after one of your triplets (!!) has died... so true to life, right?). The previews before it debuted showed a pregnant mother & then the dr telling the teary dad "You have two healthy babies who need you" or something like that, so right away, I knew that someone (mom? another baby?) had died and I just couldn't bring myself to watch.

Oh, man...that would totally make SATC not a priority. I wasn't an avid watcher, I saw an episode here or there (my favorite one I remembered was the "funky spunk" one) and then I heard that Charlotte had infertility issues and I decided I wasn't going to go back and watch them on NEtflix or whatever. Grey's Anatomy was ruined for me when Meredith started doing fertility treatments. I watched it RELIGIOUSLY and loved it through the hospital shooting season finale, and then Meredith had her miscarriage and they started shooting up gonadotropins and I was OUT. I also never started This Is Us. I saw a clip on Lori's blog and it made me cry for about 30 minutes, even though it was a 15 minute clip, maybe. Too close, and even though I know the adoption storyline was just one of many, seeing everyone so sad every week "OMG! Sad face! This Is Us, WHYYYY" all over facebook was like, huh, I'm sad already. Don't need to introduce that on purpose. Sorry, this one got me thinking on all that stuff, huge comment.

About Me

Our baby girl was stillborn in August 1998 when I was six months pregnant, after 13 years of marriage & 2.5 years ttc. Subsequent infertility treatments did not work for us and in 2001, at age 40, my dh & I decided to take the road less travelled and continue to live without children, much as we had wanted them. This blog is about our journey (which now includes early retirement and condo living!).

Do you know me in "real life?"

If you are a friend or relative who has somehow found this blog... ummm... hi there! ; ) I realize that nothing on the Internet is truly private, and that, so long as this blog is public, I cannot stop you from reading it.

However -- I did not start writing this blog with with the idea that people I know "in real life" would be reading it -- and I would be grateful if you did not read any further. My blog is primarily about infertility and pregnancy loss, and how they have affected my life -- my experiences, thoughts and feelings. It has always (well, until now...) been a "safe" and invaluable outlet where I can deal with some deeply painful, personal stuff -- things are difficult for me to speak about openly -- and connect with others in a similar situation.

Whatever you do, I would very much appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else that we both know about this blog. Thank you for respecting my wishes and my privacy.

Header design

Photo & header design by Melissa Ford

Epigraph

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference.

-- Robert Frost

Favourite quotes

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans." -- John Lennon

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -- Joseph Campbell

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity." -- Gilda Radner