Financial Divorce Planning Tips

Is Mediation Right For You?

Divorce mediation can be an affordable and non-confrontational way for a couple to divorce, but it is not the right process for everyone. When extenuating circumstances such as (but not limited to) alcoholism, spousal abuse or uncontrolled gambling are involved, the security that litigation through the courts can provide may be advised.

Couples who choose mediation and have the greatest success for a positive outcome have some relationship traits in common, including the ability to communicate and the mutual desire to part ways with the least amount of acrimony and blame. Divorce mediation means compromise, but if done properly can save divorcing couples a substantial amount of money and anguish.

In many cases the mediation process has less of a distressing effect on any children involved because the nature of the process is non-adversarial, and can become the foundation to creating stress-free and nurturing relationships with each individual parent going forward.

What exactly is the mediation process in divorce? In its simplest form, mediation can be defined as assisted negotiation. The mediator is neutral and is usually selected by the parties or appointed by some authority such as a court. The mediator does not make choices or decisions for the couple per se, but he or she will present possible scenarios and outcomes resulting from specific decisions that the couple may make, and guide them into making the best choices for their specific situation. The mediator will prioritize the interests of each party, keep the process on track, and he or she will facilitate communication and assist the parties in identifying and developing reasonable and mutually acceptable options for resolution.

The basic principles of the mediation process are:

Participation is voluntary. Any resolution will be by mutual agreement.

Mediation is private. Only those directly involved in the dispute and those who represent them will be in attendance at the mediation.

The process is confidential. There is no inherent reason for others to know what happens in mediation unless there are compelling reasons to limit confidentiality.

The parties are responsible for their own conflict and thus for their own solutions.

All parties must have adequate information with which to make informed decisions about their situation.

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