Are you having trouble coping with a relative? Do you need some love advice? Log on and ask Dennie Hughes, USA Weekend's advice and "relationtip" expert and contributing editor. Dennie's also available to take questions and comments on tough-to-confront issues, from in-law problems to how to "come out" to your family. Join in and get the scoop.

Comment from Dennie Hughes:
Welcome to this week’s chat! Aside from www.redenvelope.com (my usual favorite catalog and shopping site), I’ve discovered what I consider to be THE ultimate service – Spa Finder! Let me tell you, there’s nothing I love more than receiving services like pedicures and body rechargers…a gift certificate from www.spafinder.com can be used by nearly 1,000 spas nationwide (the names on their listing reads like a "who’s who" in the best spa services across the country!) I plan on making this THE gift for the girlfriends on my list!
Let’s begin:
Beijing,China :
One day when I wake up from dreams, I found that I am falling in love with Scott,a boy worked in the same office with me.The question is : He has girlfriends and is going to be married sometime next year,with whom I have no idea.And I'm still pursuing my classes to get my batchlor degree, which means I have little free time to be with him.
As to how he feels of me, I'm not that clear, I just feel happy to be with him, a humor,considerative and handsome boy.

Dennie Hughes:
What's going on here: you have a crush, and in this case, it's okay as long as (a) you don't try to follow up on it and (b) you don't allow it to stop you from pursuing someone else.Conroe, Texas :
My 30 year old college graduate daughter became a stripper about 4 years ago. I am still very angry and it takes everything I have to be civil during the holidays. She does come home for Thaksgiving, Christmas, birthdays and Mothers's day. How can I let this go?

Dennie Hughes:
Mom.... life is too short to hold grudges that have nothing to do with you. Whatever your daughter's decision, she's still your daughter... and you should love her for all her faults and limitations and decisions. Your silence and bad treatment will NOT make her change her mind about stripping; if anything, it will drive her further from you and more into that world.... please... think about this.... if your daughter's strip club was at the World Trade Center on September 11th, and she was missing, wouldn't you beat yourself up silly over the fact that you held this thing against her? Mom.... don't condone the job, but do allow this girl a place in your life. Always remember... whatever she's doing, AT LEAST YOU HAVE HER....White Plains, New York :
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. I have a 14 year old son, but he has never had children. He insists on giving my son orders to do things and my son resents it. I have asked him to ask my son nicely and he would respond positively but he still doesnt do it. He also teases him sometimes. I truly like this man-he had many other good qualities- but I dont feel he is being fair to my son and I get complaints from both of them. How else can I handle this? Thanks
Troubled in New York

Dennie Hughes:
Your boyfriend needs to understand that he is NOT to make your son feel uncomfortable, and that he is NOT YET a father figure -- 4 months of dating does not make him someone your child needs to deal with. Your son needs to come first here, and since you acknowledge that the treatment isn't right, you need to set this guy straight right now -- be kind to your son, or walk. Period. Once he sees that you are very serious about this, he'll toe the line, especially if he doesnt' want to lose you.Irvine, Ca :
Dennie, My boyfriend is between places right now so my parents let him stay with us for a few weeks. He has been with us for about a week. Ever since he has been at my house it's like I don't exist. He barely even looks at me. He avoids all contact. When we get the house empty and we are all alone he still won't touch me. He will give me a nice closed mouth kiss and sit on the couch with me , that's it. I try to initiate sex or even an open mouth kiss and he just stops or changes the subject. When I talk about it with him he tells me he has a lot on his mind and doesn't feel sexual right now. I feel like he doesn't even want me anymore. I hate the way this feels. Why Do you think he is acting like this? Will it get better?

Dennie Hughes:
I'm betting your boyfriend is feeling uncomfortable as well as down on himself over his needy situation. Give him the sexual space he needs... eventually he will move out and pull it together, and THEN.... if he rejects your advances, start worrying...Maple Valley, WA :
A member of my family says I was extremely rude and disrespectful by not answering the doorbell to her 13 year old son because I was taking a bath and thought it inappropriate to answer the door in a towel. I later asked her to have her son call first before coming over. My husband and I have no kids. I ask EVERYONE to call before coming over, common courtesy I thought. Thoughts?

Dennie Hughes:
You are SOOOOO well within your rights to not answer the doorbell when you don't have a clue as to who is coming over... to be honest, I do the same thing; my friends know to call first before coming over or I won't answer the door. Tell this family member that the action ONLY would've been rude had you known who was at the door; since you had no clue, it was nothing personal -- just a safety factor. Be nice about it, but firm, and make your needs clear. If this family member wants to carry a grudge, so be it -- you've got your honey and your own friends and life and who needs a grouch like that anyway?Chardon, Ohio :
How can I see more of the positive things in my wife?
Also, how can I encourage her to exercise, which she used to do?

Dennie Hughes:
Okay.... so it sounds like your wife has gained weight and you've lost desire. This is a huge issue with couples, and one that I think is a fair one; after all, a huge weight gain usually means something more than just laziness and eating; the mental behind the physical change is something that is probably also affecting or being affected by the relationship. Please talk to your wife, and let her know that you love her, but her weight gain is worrying you ... ask what YOU can do to help her back on track and don't judge her. IN the mean time, start thinking about the other stuff beyond the physical that got you and your wife together, and recite that mantra to help you get back to a place where you feel more positive about her....Comment from Dennie Hughes:
XMAS ALERT!!!!
CYBERSHOPPING??? CLUELESS ABOUT WHERE TO START? CLICK ON TO WWW.SHOPTHENET.ORG for a great group of gifts!
CAPTURE HOLIDAY FUN: Pick up Polaroid’s i-Zone collection! I personally love sticker film camera, but you can also check out their hot new mio instant camera as well! www.polaroid.com
GIFTS THAT GIVE BACK: CANINE ASSISTANTS has just implemented a puppy sponsorship program – a donation of $25 contributes to the training of a dog to help the physically disabled – they get the a wonderful, needed service dog, you get an "adoption certificate" and a warm fuzzy – please click on www.canineassistants.com ; E-Bay’s Greatest Gifts of All program at www.EBAY.com
Los Angeles, Ca :
My husband smokes marijuana on a daily basis since he was 12 years old. His parents got him into it at a young age and they smoke it with him. He know wants to stop completely and I fully support him. How do I get his parents to support his decision and to stop smoking in front of him.

Dennie Hughes:
You sound like a very ambitious loving woman, and I commend you for all the support you are giving your husband's decision to quit. However, what's important here is to get him into a professional 12-step program, with experienced counselors who can help the both of you discuss and deal with his addiction and toxic people... here's some organizations that can help:
National Clearninghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information: 800-729-6686
American Council for Drug Education: www.acde.org or (800) 488-DRUG
Trust me -- good intentions and faith aren't the only things you need to conquer an addiction started at 12... good luck.Atlanta, GA :
My wife and parents don't get along because wife says my parents say offensive things to her. No profanity or harsh words but my wife interprets what they say as "rude". I've been trying for months to get my wife to speak with my parents to let them know what they say that offends her. But she says she needs time before that can happen. We had a son in October, 2001 and she decides when the baby can see them. What do I do?

Dennie Hughes:
Why are you waiting for your wife to confront your parents? This should be something YOU are actively taking care of... without YOUR support and commentary, your parents aren't going to take her complaints seriously. Please start getting involved, so that down the road, this potentially ugly grandparent-grandchild thing can be rectified.Philadephia, PA :
I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and I really like her. We have been having problems lately that I just found out are rooted in my not understanding her. I may lose her because of our personality differences but have trouble accepting that and am trying to change so that I can make her happy again. What can I do?

Dennie Hughes:
You two need to communicate -- please ask her to set aside some time for both of you to talk about feelings. Allow her to talk without interruption or to defend yourself; really listen; then ask what she needs for you to do to help her feel better about the relationship. Then take your turn.... at the end of the conversation, you'll both know if this relationship is worth going forward with.New York, NY :
My sister has been increasingly hostile and resentful toward my mother, especially as the holidays approach. My sister acknowledges that it's over a very horrible and ugly incident that occurred in my sister's youth, and my mother's refusal to come to my sister's defense in its wake. My mother needs to know this, but my sister won't speak to her about it. I want to let my mother know why my sister is behaving as she is. How should I bring this up?

Dennie Hughes:
Just come right out and tell mom: "You know, it's none of my business what goes on between you and sister, but... just to let you know... if you said __________ to sister, she'd feel and act differently. And that's all I'm going to say on the subject... if you want to go into detail, you'll have to call sister."Dallas Texas :
My 30 year old son openly shows me the same disrespect today as he did at age 14. What can be done? He would never agree to counseling. Sad

Dennie Hughes:
At this point, you do not need to be subjected to his abuse. The next time he is disrespectful, take a deep breath and say, "I love you, and will be there for you when you need support, but I absolutely refuse to let you talk to or treat me like garbage ever again... know now that I WILL hang up on you without feeling badly the next time you do it." Take a stance mom, and I bet he'll start finding a new respect for you.WAVERLY, TENN :
MY HUSBAND LIKES TO DEER HINT ALL THE TIME. WE ARE NEWLY WEDS AND I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE WOULDN'T WANT TO DO MORE THINGS WITH ME INSTEAD OF SITTING ALONE IN THE WOODS ALL DAY LONG. OUR SEX LIFE SUFFERS TOO BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO WANT OTHER THINGS AND I JUST WANT HIM. DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE?
SIGNED,
HOME ALONELY

Dennie Hughes:
You need to find some activities that you love to do, and that make you feel worthy to you, so that you don't have to have a life wrapped up in HIM... nothing is sexier to a person than to see that their significant other is glowing from doing things that make them happy. Find what interests you and get involved!Comment from Dennie Hughes:
HOLIDAY GIFT ALERT!
PAMPER YOURSELF: Can’t afford a spa right now? Pick up a few of these items to perk up your beauty routine: BATH AND BODY WORKS: I’m already obsessed with their Bio hair products; now I’m mad for their great spa gift sets (they don’t only come with their fabulous products, but with lovely accompaniments like slippers or a relaxing CD) - call toll-free for your nearest store: (800) 395-1001 … NAIL APPEAL: Barielle’s Nine Piece Natural Nail Care Kit contains all the tools to achieve perfect nails au natural! Check out their site at www.barielle.com ; SOFT AND SCENTED: Suave does what the other brands do for less (their hairspray is cheap and good!) – their new Frosted Cranberry, Holiday Pear and Sugar Plum will make you the most delicious thing in the room! Head over to Wal-Mart and K-Mart stores before they’re gone! ;
Comment from Dennie Hughes:
HOLIDAY GIFT ALERT!
PAMPER YOURSELF: Can’t afford a spa right now? Pick up a few of these items to perk up your beauty routine: BATH AND BODY WORKS: I’m already obsessed with their Bio hair products; now I’m mad for their great spa gift sets (they don’t only come with their fabulous products, but with lovely accompaniments like slippers or a relaxing CD) - call toll-free for your nearest store: (800) 395-1001 … NAIL APPEAL: Barielle’s Nine Piece Natural Nail Care Kit contains all the tools to achieve perfect nails au natural! Check out their site at www.barielle.com ; SOFT AND SCENTED: Suave does what the other brands do for less (their hairspray is cheap and good!) – their new Frosted Cranberry, Holiday Pear and Sugar Plum will make you the most delicious thing in the room! Head over to Wal-Mart and K-Mart stores before they’re gone! ;
washington dc :
what do i say to a mother who always has a negative comment about my weight, I have gain weight and when her friends come over she says she use to be the prettiest girl in town, what can I say?

Dennie Hughes:
Your mom is probably thinking harassing you about your weight is just the thing you need to get it off.... we both know that her approach is more stressful than helpful! Please, talk to her one on one, let her know how hurtful her commentary is, and that if she doesn't make your weight an off-limit topic, you will no longer be able to visit her. Get a dialogue going, and I guarantee she'll say she thought she was helping you... by opening up the conversation and being honest, you'll get her to stop. BEEEEEN THERE!Los Angeles, CA :
Question about pets and relationships...
I have a small dog (10lbs) which always sleeps under covers with me. My boyfriend is a light sleeper. When he stays over, he doesn't sleep very well because he wakes up every time my dog moves around and/or gets out of bed. I don't have a problem with this probably because I'm used to it.
What are my options with this? Have my dog sleep on her own pillow on the floor when my bf is over or what? Or not have the bf sleep over anymore? :)
Thanks.

Dennie Hughes:
If this boyfriend is totally worthy, you should start making a compromise... that is, during the week, when he needs to get sleep and get to work in the morning, you make sure the dog sleeps in her own bed; weekends can be a free for all.... talk to your boyfriend and let him know you want to be fair, and what your plans are.... I bet he'll be willing to give it a shot, and FLATTERED that you are willing to try to work this out for both sides... incidentally, my 10-lb. dog has been trained to sleepin her own bed for the bulk of the night, but knows she's allowed to crawl into the bed and under the covers on MY side at around 5 or 6 am for a little quality cuddle time...Wheaton, MD :
Dennie,
My wife and I have recently separated. We still love each other want to work it out. She says that she no longer feels as emotionally connected to me as she once did. Any suggestions on how I can help strengthen that connection?

Dennie Hughes:
The key here is that you both want to work it out... please seek out and start seeing a marriage counselor to help you both sort through this, help her find a way to reconnect, help you find a way to get her there....Laurel, MD :
My wife and I have been married for about 1 1/2 years. We have three children; 12, 8, and 1 (all boys). In the last 5-6 months, my wife's attitude toward our relationship has become apathetic; she doesn't talk to me or want to be affectionate. She says that she doesn't think that anything is wrong, but I know that things are different. She doesn't want to talk to me about it, but it is bothering me quite a bit. What can I do?

Dennie Hughes:
Ask your wife if she's wanting out of the relationship, and if not, ask her to help you save it with marriage counseling...Bethesda, MD :
My husband and I are expecting our first child in the spring -- my mother and mother-in-law both want to arrive right after the baby. They haven't spoken to each other in the ten years since our wedding -- and not because of any feud. My mother is very judgemental and critical. My mother-in-law expects three home-cooked meals a day. She has already suggested that my mother is going to drive everyone crazy, which is probably right. To top it all off, my husband may be out of town for the birth or immediately after due to his work in Washington. What do I do with these two women to keep myself from going crazy? I'm dreading their simultaneous arrival a lot more than labor.

Dennie Hughes:
If you can't bear to tell them NOT to come over, get your doctor or nurse to call and suggest that it's healthier for you to bond with the baby on your own and to postpone the trip. Then, reschedule them when your husband can play interference.... good luck, and congrats!Sacramento, CA :
How do I convince my wife that she doesn't have to be "perfect"? I have tried to tell her that we need to have more fun in our lives and forget what the Jones think.

Dennie Hughes:
It sounds like your wife is missing something in her life that gives her satisfaction.... perhaps you can help by spending more quality time with her ona date night... get her to talk about why it's so important to keep up with the Joneses.... get her talking and see if you can help her find something to do to help her feel good about herself which has nothing to do with material things.... great idea: a little volunteerism activity to get her mind off herself and onto others.Dallas, TX. :
Hi Miss Hughes. I saw you on that dating show a few nights ago - but I don't remember the name of it. What is it called and how can I send them some good feedback about you on the show? I think you where great.
And what was that senior citizen catalog you where talking about. I wan't to send my granparents something for Xmas.

Dennie Hughes:
Thanks!!!! The show is called "Rendezview," and you can access it at www.rview.lycos.com --I'd love it if you'd tell 'em to bring me back on!!!! In the meantime, the senior shopping site is www.goldviolin.com .... and here's a few more for your Xmas shopping pleasure:Comment from Dennie Hughes:
COOL GADGETS:
COBRA’s got radar detectors, and the coolest MicroTalk walkie-talkies! A must stop-shopping site: www.cobra.com ; Just in time to light up New Years: GLO GEAR light-up necklaces in styles ranging from the Patriotic to the Romantic…. Check out www.GloGear.com ; JABRA has fantastic products designed for mobile and cordless phones that are functional as well as EarGel comfortable!: www.jabra.com ; SPY GEAR is totally hot this year – get thee to www.wildplanet.com for the award-winning Spy Vision Scope and Spy Night Scope (trust me, they’re so cool you’ll want to play with them as well!) ; SKYTEL’s Internet Messenger Watch is going to be a must-have for all ages www.skytel.com ; THE ULTIMATE RIDE GAME (available at www.ultimateridegame.com) allows you to design – then "ride" – your own rollercoaster ;
Columbus, Indiana :
A lady I have known for several years went through a difficult divorce late last summer. We are both in our 40s and she has three kids (I'm not married). She knows that I am interested in going out with her, but she is still adjusting to life after her divorce and running the kids around, and I understand, especially since this will be a difficult time for her during the holiday season. She knows that I am here when and if she needs me and I am willing to wait. She is a wonderful lady and I am very attracted to her and I think the world of her kids. I have no interest in looking for anyone else at this time and want to see how it plays out. My friends are telling me to be patient and I am doing just that, though it can be a little tough at times. She is well worth waiting for. Your advice or thoughts?

Dennie Hughes:
You and your friends sound like wonderful, lovely people -- do be patient. Don't however, cut yourself off from socializing and leaving yourself open to a love that may be ready to be a part of your life right now...Buffalo, NY :
With Christmas about a week away, a baby girl only 8 weeks old, and my girlfriend currently being out of work, how do I satisfy everyone that I have to buy gifts for on a modest budget ($800 - 10 family & Friends)without the underlying fear that they will go unappreciated.
The problem is that when it comes to gifts, my family, friends and I always used to splurge in the past. With everything that has happened over the past couple of months (birth of my daughter and mounting bills because my girlfriend is out of work presently)how do I satisfy everyone?
I don't want to be the GRINCH this Christmas and really want the buy the "best, most affordable gift" for everyone without putting myself into any debt following the holiday's.

Dennie Hughes:
I had this dilemma a few years ago, so what I did was pick a wonderful charity, made donations in everyone's name, and had cards sent to them with a lovely letter saying that the best gift I could give them was to have their name associated with helping others... in the aftermath of September 11th, this may be appreciated more than you know by the adults in your life....Comment from Dennie Hughes:
AND SPEAKING OF GREAT GIFTS THAT KEEP ON GIVING (AND ARE AFFORDABLE) -- HOW ABOUT THE GIFT OF READING?
READING IS...
FUN FOR KIDS:
Baby Gets the Zapper by Ted DeWan: Too cute! Baby gets a hold of the TV remote control, and has amazing adventures! Large type, large pictures for the littlest book lovers.
Molly and the Magic Dress by William Norwich: Molly doesn’t want to go to her cousin’s stuffy society wedding, especially wearing the horribly stiff dress ("It’s from Paris, dahling!") her aunt picked out for her. With a little imagination and a tattered "magical" dress, Molly finds a way to have a grand time – little girls will love Molly’s spunk!
My Friend John by Charlotte Zolotow: Heartwarming story about the bond of best friendship between two little boys. Ages 5-8
READING IS...
FUN FOR TEENS:
Love and Other Four-Letter Words by Carolyn Mackler: A fantastically written "turbulent teen years" tale about Sammi, 16, who must cope with her parents’ divorce as well as serious issues about love, sex and friendship.
A Mother to Embarrass Me by Carol Lynch Williams: Fifth-grader Laura has a mom who doesn’t care what others think of her (or her off-key singing voice, lack of grooming or even – oh no! – gaining weight!) and Laura is determined to change her or die of embarrassment! We’ve all been there – very funny!
Shattered: Stories of Children and War: Compelling collection of stories that explore the way a young person sees – and is affected by – war. Includes stories about the Afghan-Soviet conflict, Civil War, Vietnam, Palestine’s Six-Day War. Read it with your kids in case they have questions relating to how these kids coped and things to think about in our time of conflict.
READING IS...
ENCHANTING: Got any older kids (teens and up) who can’t get enough of Fairies, Witches and Wizards? Then pick up Suza Scalora’s gorgeously illustrated books: The Witches and Wizards of Oberin and The Fairies. Little ones will love the magical pics; the older set will have fun recognizing some of today’s famous faces (did you find Scott Weiland?) in the shots. Check out www.myth.com for more info.
AND MOST OF ALL, READING IS...INFORMATIVE! The World Almanac and Book of Facts 2002: Internet, Schminternet… if you want millions of facts on everything from the largest snowflake (15 inches wide, 8 inches thick) to notable quotes (President Bush, September 11th: "When I take action, I’m not going to fire a $2 million dollar missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It’s going to be decisive.") Check out www.worldalmanac.com to purchase the book and get on their free monthly e-newsletter.
chantilly, virginia :
My boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time this weekend, but he was not able to maintain an erection. It was kind of tense afterwards -- we both sort of freaked out. How do we move beyond this?

Dennie Hughes:
Show him this chat: let him know that first-time failure is actually FLATTERING... it means that the guy is nervous, and wants so badly to impress and be great for this wonderful girl... and because of that, you are touched, and can't wait to make out and take your time with some serious touching and foreplay and try again..... HAVE FUN!Atlanta, Ga :
Love your chats and really appreciate the good advice. Question: what's up with your archives? I missed a couple of chats and now I can't find them in the archive list. Have a "chat" with your webmaster...
Thanks.

Dennie Hughes:
Thanks so much! I know -- I've heard that archives are incomplete, and it's frustrating, and I apologize... the usatoday.com is FAB, but currently super-understaffed and doing the best they can to keep ALL their chatters up to date --Michigan :
Quick question for you. I have been with my wife for 11yrs. now. 6 of those years are married years. I am 30 she is 42. Problem is she was my first and only, but now I want to explore other women. Our relationship is great. Sex is boring. Two times a month is fine for her. I'm not intrested in another relationship with someone else. I just want to see if sexually if I am missing something else out there. Am I crazy? Can cheating be healthy for a relationship. Or should I just suck it up and be deprived for the rest of my life. Please help.

Dennie Hughes:
Any action outside of your relationship that means you have to lie or sneak around is NOT good.... please, I urge you, talk to your wife first about frequency and experimentation, and take it from there.... 42 is NOT OLD, and perhaps SHE hasn't brought this up before because she knows she's your first and doesn't want to freak YOU out!Cleveland, OH. :
Hi Dennie - I love your colum. I read your tip on getting your husband to by the right gifts and found it quite helpfull (especially the "circle the items in the catolog" part). Why aren't you in U.S.A. weekend every weekend?

Dennie Hughes:
OOO! So glad you read that! And don't forget -- when you circle items in a catalog and leave for his perusal, you should also circle sizes and color preferences. In the meantime, I'd LOVE to be in USA WEEKEND every week... if only we had the space! However, please feel free to write 'em and make the suggestion!!! Write to usaw@usaweekend.com -- thanks so much for your support!Comment from Dennie Hughes:
And speaking of XMAS GIFTS:
CANDY IS DANDY… LOLLIPOP LOVE: The absolute tastiest lollipops ever come from Candy Creek (flavors include Georgia Peach, Raspberry Crush and Italian Lemon – yum!) – check out their site at www.candycreek.com ; M&M/MARS Celebrations Tins (www.filled with miniature Dove, Twix and Snickers bars make for great stocking stuffers… that is, if you don’t end up stuffing yourself first! Godiva chocolates at www.godiva.com ; COTTON CANDY in half a minute! That’s right: the "30 Second" Cotton Candy Maker by GC Toys can make you feel like you’re watching Superbowl at a stadium!!! Flavors include Bubble Gum and Raspberry – this and the table top version are available at ToysRUs.
BUT LIQUOR IS QUICKER! My friends know I never budge from Grey Goose vodka in my Cosmopolitans…. However, I’ve just been converted by Christiana, THE smoooooothest vodka I’ve ever tasted! The best part? This luxurious Norwegian vodka comes in a stunning bottle for impressive gift-giving … You don’t have to be Irish to appreciate the honey-infused Irish Whiskey called CELTIC CROSSING – it’s smooth, it’s sweet, and mixes well in eggnog!!! -- How about lovely condiments and marinades with a touch of BV Wine? Try the Cabernet Sauvignon Chocolate Sauce and Port Chocolate Sauce at www.bvwine.com ….
burbank, CA :
My fiance does not want to ask his parents for money for our wedding. I feel if I am talking to my parents about wedding funds he should ask his. We are putting a lot of our own funds in but will need some help. We are having a small, not lavish wedding.

Dennie Hughes:
If your fiance doesn't think his parents will be able to contribute to the wedding, don't pressure him into asking about it -- it's okay to ask why, but it's not okay to make him do something he's uncomfortable about... plan around the budget you have.Cincinnati, OH :
I have an in-law who's in-between jobs right now, and am curious how best to handle holdiay gifts. While I'd like to be helpful (he has older kids) I don't want to either raise future expectations or embarrass him. What's appropriate? Gift certificates?

Dennie Hughes:
A gift-certificate for a department store that has a little bit of everything, like Kmart or Walmart or Target, would be great -- you can also get one at www.giftcertificates.com, which has a terrific listing of affiliated retail stores so that he can go outside of just one specific store.Comment from Dennie Hughes:
DON’T FORGET THE PET SET:
Want a fashionable yet comfortable way for you and your pet to travel? Check out THE CLASSIC SHERPA TRAVELER at www.sherpapet.com – comfortable shoulder straps for you, extra-comfy-cozy for your pet, and approved by most major airlines –a great carrier at a fair price ; GREAT PET ADVICE and product info on www.hartz.com ; The Buddy System hands-free leash is fabulous for those of you who want to take along your best friend while keeping your hands available to hold a walkman or a bag of groceries: www.buddysys.com ; EASYBAKE: Or should we say, Doggie Bake? The Doggie Dough and Bake-A-Treat Oven takes you back to the easy bake days, but this time you’re cooking up doggie biscuits! Get this and other cool products at www.PetSmart.com
southfield, mi :
mr chardon, oh:
the difference between a wife and a girlfirend is only about 30 lbs...i say deal with it, or find a girlfriend to hang out with on the side.

Dennie Hughes:
Not for nothing, dude, but unless you're sporting a 6 pack abdomen and are the catch of life, your nasty little statement is extremely narrow.....Marietta, GA :
I have been seeing a guy for almost two months - he is so sweet to me, very generous with his time and affection. However, as we haven't been dating long, I have NO idea what to get him for a Christmas gift or even what his mindset is on gifts (something expensive, something just to say "I thought of you"). It's not the money aspect that worries me - I just genuinely have no idea what is too much or too little after dating for such a brief period. Any thoughts?

Dennie Hughes:
Don't spend too much, and buy something in the area he's most interested in... for example, if he's a music fiend, get him a CD holder with a gift certificate folded inside.... a little token of affection that shows you pay attention to his interests goes a long way... or, then again.... a homecooked meal is often appreciated as well, and romantic to boot!Comment from Dennie Hughes:
ANOTHER CHRISTMAS MOMENT:
HEALTHY GIFTS:
CREST SPIN-BRUSHES make the ultimate stocking stuffers! I test-drove their cool, battery powered race car brush with my 3 year old who hates to brush his teeth, and he didn’t want to put it down! A 3-year old who has fun brushing? Now, THAT’s an endorsement – they come in different styles and work on batteries with a touch of a button: available in stores nationwide.
Why hasn’t someone thought of this before? Healthy Jump, THE first calorie-counting jump rope, calculates the number of calories burned based on the number of rotations and the weight of the jumper. The frosty blue color matches my iBook…. And at only $19.99, you can pick up several as gift items – check out www.tanita.com for this and other cool gadgets.
Bloemker, PA :
Why don't celebrites return fan mail? I've written several letters to Carrot Top trying to start a friendship, but he refuses to get back to me!!! --Confused in PA!

Dennie Hughes:
I admit I find it a little frightening that Carrot Top is on your must-write-to list.....MADISON, WI :
Dennie, my girlfriend of 4.5 years broke up with me the Thursday before halloween. She has already met someone where she works and taken that relationship to the next level. How is it possible that she has been able to move on so quickly?

Dennie Hughes:
I hate to say this, but most likely she's been looking around for longer than just the time you've been broken up... the point here is: it doesn't matter what or why; what matters is that she's moved on, and you need to as welll... please, I urge you, get your friends to support and keep you busy....Hope, NJ :
I am having a problem with my in-laws, specifically my mother in-law. She refuses to acknowledge me as part of the family and is unaccepting of me having married her son. Additionally, she has developed a rather clingly attachement to my husband as the result of our two year marriage. How can I confront this issue and resolve it?

Dennie Hughes:
Please make sure your husband knows what's going on, and then enlist him to help you get her to respect you -- it's totally his place to do that.st louis missouri :
I divorced last spring and would like my children..23,22,20 and 18 to meet the man I am dating. I don't feel I should push but they are reluctant. What should I do?

Dennie Hughes:
Your instincts not to push are correct -- I know of one woman who would put notes in the mail to her children letting them know when she and her new beau were going to be somewhere and inviting them to stop by if they'd like to say hello.... finally, two of her kids, curious, took her up on her invite and hooked up at a museum.. .they ended up having a great time. Always invite, but don't let their disinterest bother your new found fun.... this way, they can never say you chose someone over them. Good luck.Richmond, VA :
My wife and I are the proud parents of 10 month old twin girls. I myself never thought I could love anything more than I love my daughters. However, the work and responsibility has really taken a toll on our sex life. The point is, believe it or not, we are just too tired. It has been suggested that we should actually plan a time and place. It seems a funny idea to actually do that. Do you agree with the suggestion?

Dennie Hughes:
Absolutely! Whether it's kids or crazed careers, couples should always take the time to plan and implement a date night.Boca Raton, Fla :
My boyfriend has a three year old son that has no respect for his elders. How do I get him to respect me and listen to me when I tell him something?

Dennie Hughes:
Three is TOUGH! Here's what to do: ask him to do something nicely. If he says no, say, "Okay, then I'll just tell daddy what you said. And since you are not talking nice to me, I don't want to talk to you right now." And leave it at that.... 3 year olds LOVE to push boundaries... when he sees you're nice but tougher than him, he'll come around... be sure to let your honey know the plan...Comment from Dennie Hughes:
WHEW! What a FUN chat! Thanks so much to all who dropped by with comments and questions, and hope to see you next week! In the meantime -- happy shopping!