How do you learn your limits? Through trial and experience right? How do you learn what risks to take and which ones could destroy you? Through trail and experience right? Life is a tricky game.

I used to identify solely with addictive patterns and mental illness's but as my life experience grew I learned that everyone has an ailment that needs treatment, it is the human condition to walk this planet. Pain. We all must experience pain... it is the human experience.

We have gotten so good at masking our pain, avoiding it and running from it entirely. What happens when you stop and face it, when you actually touch the center of it? How far are you willing to go to get to the heart of your pain? Why would you even want to go there in the first place??

Know your limits. That's what I teach in my addictions' programs, how to learn your limits and stay within them. Boundaries and why they are important to keep.

Recently I broke my own boundaries. I asked myself instantly if it was a good risk. My feelings were terrible all the way through, suggesting that it was a poor risk. Sometimes poor risks pay off in other ways and other times you do not feel the boomerang of them right away providing a false sense of freedom from the action.

Every experience is a lesson in limits. What you can and cannot handle, what you want and do not want in your life. Do we always know whats best for us? Why does our intuition speak so loudly against what is supposedly best for us at times then? Who decides what is right for us in the first place, culture or intuition?

If you have a beleif and are of sound mind then you should turn out okay correct? Whats if you have a beleif and you are not of sound mind? Who can tell you if your mind is sound or not? How do you learn the truth of your beleifs if you are not expereincing your limits?

Beliefs change as risks are taken and boundaries are broken. Nobody loves when their beloved beliefs are challenged, let alone by there own making. This is where the power is though..... that moment when you realize an old belief is falling away and the new one rising up is in your full control to mold anyway you see fit....

Ask yourself.... what is it that YOU want? What limits are you willing to push to get it and what boundaries will you put up to maintain it. Is it breaking any previous boundaries already set in place? What are you willing to experience?

If you know your limits you can confidently walk along side any belief to get to the destination you set out for yourself.

I have been distracted from my weekly readings because my life flows in directions I can never plan for in my daily world. And thats the Goddess honest truth. How does one marry a free spirit who needs routine to be disciplined in a world of structure but full of freaking chaos?

I read this in an email today:

The gapThere's a gap between where you are and where you want to be.Many gaps, in fact, but imagine just one of them.That gap--is it fuel? Are you using it like a vacuum, to pull you along, to inspire you to find new methods, to dance with the fear?Or is it more like a moat, a forbidding space between you and the future?Posted by Seth Godin on January 21, 2018

..... This email brought me back to the spiritual me that lives on my own time clock and gets things done way better, however, to then marry that clock with the worlds has been challenging to say the least. I have goals and dreams. That need discipline and focused attention. How can I reach my dreams when I cannot even achieve my weekly goals? This is when my dreams look like a far off future across a great divide.

Living in a world of chaos in a calculated way is the way to lesson that gap between our dreams and our reality. Why does it seem like its so hard though. I do move in a vacuum like fashion with so much fun and laughter in my life. I allow inspiration to take me and thus my life leading two jobs, taking college courses and raising a trans gender son.

No shortage of inspiration just all the shortage of discipline.

I am sure when i get to the reading this week I will not be surprised to see some crazy making has ensued by not even recognizing what the cards are saying or a taunting of my troubling lesson. I guess we shall see. From what I am seeing and experiencing in the outside world we have all had some troubling lessons this week. A get stronger week, that's all!

Building on last week, where our dreams were brought into the daily light, we now move into taking care of the details of everyday life. We cannot enjoy our dreams if our daily life is in chaos.

Mouse and Isolt bring a nice grounding energy to the cards that had us high in the clouds last week. Where last week was about tapping into our sleep life and getting high, this week the mouse is asking us to get low and scrutinize our lives. Which s super fitting of this time of year.... New Years!

We are all looking at what we achieved last year, whether your conscious of it or not. We are indeed starting to scrutinize a bit and maybe ingesting the details of our supposed failure or if we are lucky we are reveling in the small details that lead to our successes. Lessons learned all around is what the cards bring us this week

It is at this time that we look at what we achieved last year and what we want from this upcoming year.

Sometimes its hard to look at our failures from last year and thats is where Isolt comes into play. she is the Goddess of Eternal Love. She brings to us the gentle nature of step work, and peeling the onion to our dreams, the stages it takes for an actualized goal to play out.

It takes several years sometimes to lose the weight we intended to lose six years ago. Because we begin to realize that our whole lifestyles will need to change to actualize that goal and well we are not always ready for that big of a step, so we peel the onion layer by layer to get to our goal. Some of us give up entirely and either make new goals and let that one go or someone of us get caught in a pity party and stay trapped in misery, every year trying again and again in the definition of insanity.

Isolt comes to soften mouses scrutiny and to let you know that no step is left unused. No attempt is wasted. I wanted Maria Carey hair since i was seventeen years old and now at forty three i finally have it.... you see there was no way my hair would ever get that thick on my own so until technology and the invention of extensions my goal could never manifest. I am so happy to have my dream hair now finally! Thank you Isolt!

Reviewing our year with the compassion of unconditional love for self will help mouse sniff through what worked and what didn't and to shed some light on the finer details of what you are really asking for. Do you still want what you wanted last year, or are you looking in a new direction?

What did your dreams expose to you last week? Who came to you in them? What feelings were brought up? What lessons, threads, or details stood out to you? Build on those for what can transpire this year.

Learning to work with the energy of where you are at and what surrounds you will make planning the upcoming year more natural. Working with the flow of universal energy and your own bio-rhythms will set you up for far greater success then just shooting in the dark your greatest aspirations.

I always start small on my goals now. But with a few larger steps to immediately follow to carry the momentum along smoothly. Building is the key to any successful life, dream, goal or venture.... Grounding, foundations, steps and then the mountain. This week we are grounding into our dreams....

Do your dreams feel good to you? Do they support you right now? Do they empower you and inspire you? Do you get excited when you think of them? Grounding into that feeling means that cleaning your house so you have a place to study without distraction if going back to school and becoming an astrologer is your dream. Grounding into loving yourself more and taking care of your emotions if falling inlove with another is your goal this year. Grounding into the mundane aspects of your job if your goals is a promotion at work.

Mouse is saying get low, get humble and get ready to sprint across the kitchen floor for that tasty piece of fallen cheese.

Isolt has empowered you to let go of your self judgement from missing the mark on last years piece of cheese, because this year for sure you are gonna get it.... why? Because last year you learned a tremendous amount from your painful failures and missed attempts.

This year.... 2018.... is a major turning point in more of your lives then we are a collective care to admit. This is the year many of you will reach heights you never thought possible. this is the year the collective conscious takes a turn on the seven year cycle for the better. If this year goes badly for you, it will truly be down to you for creating that because in truth this is the year dreams will come true!

I am always amazed at how accurate readings are in my world. whether I am the one doing the reading for myself, or I am reading for other, or even when someone else is reading for me, it is always accurate when I am open to the interpretation. I guess this could be seen as what we look for we find as well. Readings are not for everyone, just like Christianity isn't either. So for me this is my happy place and I am glad your here with me in this journey of self discovery.

Last week the cards spoke of dreams and fertility. Lizard and Ostara. I interpreted it on a personal level of our nightly dreams as well as something larger in life, our goals and visions.

Although those cards can still apply to both short sight and long terms I believe for me it was speaking in very short sighted predictions. My nightly dreams and the start of a new beginning with them.

You see I have not dreamt in many years. This is weird because I was a dream journalist and an avid lucid dreamer for the better part of ten years, so today to go without any dreams at night is actually heart wrenching for me. So why the dream kill? What changed that my dreams stopped? What did I do to kill them?

Weed. Smoking Weed chronically wipes out my light sleep and therefor my lucid dreaming. Marijuana smoked has its place in this world but not in my life at present. In-jesting it through a tincture or phoenix tears is acceptable to my dream state and healthy for my motivation and quality of life, but smoking it chronically surely is not(there is a reason it is used to medicate dying people). I started smoking again when I needed deeper sleep and to move from one phase of my life to another with less nightmares and more relaxation. But my cards are now telling me its time to shift out of smoking chronically (after using cards as my intuition for the better part of twenty years, I now know how to listen without question).

This is where I brought to light last week that if your not dreaming take a look at what your doing to harm your body. A soul cannot reside in a body thats being abused and this can have a direct impact on your nightly dreams. Tobacco smokers sometimes lose their dreams because of all the toxins going into their body. However, each person its different, how we react to a certain drug or substance is one way for one person and something completely opposite for another. i cannot eat an abundance of starches without becoming insanely hooked on over eating, where a friend i know feels superstar after a sandwich. One mans energizer is another mans kryptinite. Its only you that can figure out why your not dreaming if your struggling with them.... trial and error.... and detox, are your best answers to figuring things out.

I know through experience and testing marijuana that after a few weeks of smoking it daily my dreams disappear. Now this is just my nightly dreams, my goals and aspirations actually increase and I get way more done when I am chronic. So I choose to dance a fine line between moving forward outwardly in life and losing myself inwardly. Hence the moving back to phoenix tears and away from smoking. The cards this week are asking me to go within again.....

And this past week I began dreaming again!! I have so much fun in my dreams. I get to play out scenarios that are happening in my daily life, I can change outcomes and explore options. LUCID DREAMING!! I can see closer to the reality I am living in at the present moment and I can chose to manipulate it within the dream and watch the unfoldment in real life.

Dreams are where we create our stories. I believe this to be true because of my own experience with it. My next level of dreaming is to study astral travel. I began to see some success with a partner a few years back and now its time to step back into that. When we can astral travel we learn that we are never alone and that our connections grow tenfold and our lives become so enriched we move through existence with an ease of happiness.

Thats what the cards were talking about last week, planting those nightly dreams into fertile soil. Bringing them back into the present.

And Now...This weeks cards.....

Otter and Maeve, we now move into feminine practices and cycles. Going even deeper within!!

This of course can be for everyone men and women alike, but truly i am going to only speak to the women because I believe we need to come together as a clan more then ever this day in age. Men should try to become more like men then the women they have become. We have way to many pansy ass men out there tapped into feelings they should have never had access to in the first place, We women need men to become strong a defensive again so that we can ease back and become women...... but thats just my opinion and a rant for another day.

This week its all about honoring your body as a female and the rhythms of the winter solstice.... which is rest, rest, reflection and recovery. Recovery from a year well lived. Rest from the goals you placed upon yourself last year. Reflection of what you learned and nurturing your body, mind and soul from all the hard work you expended on achieving those said desires.

It is a time of year to go deeply within and honor who you are, where you have been and what you have done with yourself and your life. Its time to take stock, enjoy the pride and revel in all the greatness you are. Honor your cycles, appreciate what it means to be a woman and to stand up in that.

We tend as women to nurture others before ourselves, but this is the time to shut all the doors on others and seclude yourself for your own healing, for your own comfort and nurturing. To close the doors on the energetic drains and the dreams that did not come to pass this past year. Its time to let go.

Maeve makes it easy to flow with nature, to flow with your own body rhythms and with the course of your own life. This week is the week to connect deeply into yourself. The soil is still fertile, your dreams are vivid again and you have received a miracle recently, so my dear beloved, lay back in front of the warm fire and revel in the greatness of who you are today!

Last week the Cards Spoke of Doing the Work and receiving the Reward. Boy that could not have been more accurate if I had rigged it myself. i surely love the way my guides work at directing me through the phases of life. So what happened that has me raving about my own reading abilities? College, thats what!!

Funny that even in my examples of the hard work I used college as one of them not thinking that I was talking of my own self. You see i have been working my way towards going back to College to get a business Degree but I wasn't thinking I could get moving on that until next September. What a beautiful surprise i got when i went to take a math placement test at the college.

Do the work reap the rewards was my cards last week. Squirrel which is all about saving money and aquiring resources and then putting them to good use followed by mother Mary bringing a miracle to you. Well turns out that my math from 20 years ago is good enough for the program i am entering after being told by a few different advisers that is wasn't and i would have to upgrade my math. i was shocked and happy to eliminate that potentially year consuming step. What a miracle to be let right into the program in TWO Weeks!!

The work here was the work i did when i went back to school after having my daughter as a teenager. I busted my ass to graduate while raising a baby. The work apparently paid off and now I can just roll right into college after thinking i would not be able too. How great is that??

So now moving on.....

This week Shows me the Lizard and Goddess Ostara. Dreaming and Fertility!!

How perfect is that for me this week.

The Lizard speaks of our dreams and astral travelling and being tapped into all things unseen as well as the desires of our hearts. While in the meantime Ostara is bring rich fertile soil for those dreams to root into. Having just applied to school and this week being the week of xmas and increased tips as a server I can fairly say that my dreams are surely taking root now.

What last week took form for you? What was it that you were working on and it paid off? What this week is filling your dreams? Do you dream? Some of us have blocked not only our nightly REM sleep but our long term dreams. If this is the case for you this is the week to call your dreams back to you. To go off the medications that are blocking your dreams, to remove the toxins that are harming your goals and to start seeing a future again that lights up your world.

Ostara is a huge shifting energy, it is the movement behind the dream. So where last week was squirrel and the work paying off in miracles, this week is the opposite the miracle is the dream and the work is the fertility. Which just gets better and better dont you think?

Take time this week to tap into your nightly dreams, record them if you want and watch for patterns and commonalities. If your an avid dreamer then bring in astral travelling as your next nightly adventure. We as a collective are becoming more in-tune with these energies and people are more willing to practice with you as you float through the night sky visiting friends. the more in-tune we are to your dreams and our astral bodies the more easily we move through this 3D world.

Ostara will bring huge rewards to the adventures of your dreams, she will provide the energy and movement needed to keep them going into the first trimester where they will begin to form into something tangible. So what is it your heart truly desires? What is it that is already pulsing in there but you have been too preoccupied to notice? Last week would have shed light upon that dream, this week would be the excitement of that realization.

For those of you Launching with me, i look forward to a really great nine months with you!! Let the Dream babies flourish!!

A Miracle will arrive after you do the hard work, You know this already.

Chop Wood, Carry Water. Enlightenment. Chop Wood, Carry Water!

Yet some of us still get caught in a web of entitlement.

Think.....You just passed the Finals, Yay, What a reward for all that hard work you had done up until them! Now you can go into the world and get that career that you have been dreaming of. ...Of course some of you will follow this train, not all but the example is still relevant to evolving and doing the work needed to reach your enlightenment. Do the work the reward will come.

This is where the sense of entitlement comes from...You did the work and now it should all run smoothly for you, right? Or maybe you didn't go any further, so you 'Chose' not to work anymore. Sometimes taking a break leads into more?

This weeks reading is encouraging you to get back to the work. Its not over, it possibly may be just beginning and for you to achieve what you are calling for you need to get back to work. Do you feel life has been a celebration lately? That you are patting yourself on the back for the good that has been achieved? Or maybe its the opposite and your restless and angry life isn't moving forward for you.

This is the week to get moving again on those goals, to start the savings account, to make the call that you have been avoiding. This is the week to get back to basics if you are still flying high, the week to put priorities in order. A week to dive into any new work, be it relationship work or physical stuff, the work is the most important part of this week. It is the whole week actually.

Can you imagine starting a job that was only gonna take a week to complete but it was hard fucking labor for 16 hours a day. You had two weeks before starting and will have two weeks off after because the money you will make from that week alone will be incredible. Would you do the work?

That is the question this week. Where in your life do you need to apply extra work and what will the benefit be to do so?

Their is a miracle here, not just abundance, not just reward, no this is a miracle. Not like the example in the first paragraph. This is more then passing the grade. We are talking dreams here my friends. What dream could you manifest in one weeks time? What dream could you take the very first step on this week? This can be a beginning point for you.

Do you want to go back to school to become something you have always dreamed about? Are you wanting a higher position at work? Are you stalking the cute guy in your building hoping that one day you will match? This is the week to communicate loudly what it is you truly desire and explore the work that needs to be done to achieve it. It's time to step out of comfort if thats what is in your soul to do.

Miracles can be first steps and they are also closing steps.

Miracles are big and small.

If you have been wanting to take out a loan out but keep getting rejected this would be the week that all that hard work pays off. This is the week all the rejections become acceptance. If you have been doing the hard work this is surely your week to see some huge shifts in energy.

Life is fully 100% Karma, I am certain we can all agree on this now, what goes around comes around. Not meaning be afraid of your darker nature just because of this, Because truly we all have our downtime's. The miracle for this week is the flipping of that Karma because even in our darker natures we are still serving the greater good. So if this peaks a nerve expect all those tears to pay off now for you are on an upswing again, even if it's just a glimpse of the fact your still in the game, Maybe enough, hey?

Hard Work ALWAYS pays off.

The path to enlightenment is to Chop wood, carry water.... Enlightenment..... Chop wood, Carry water. It is a cycle always, the power you have is to choose how much wood you wanna chop and how enlightened you wanna be. So if your stuck and restless, I suggest getting un-lazy and try just one log to start and one bucket of water. And once your Miracle shows up, accept it with gratitude and dont forget the rest of the path to your enlightenment.....