An empty house in Marblehead, Mass. seems to have called 911 on its own after months of enduring a leaky pipe that covered the walls with toxic mold. And you thought that dog that called the police was smart.

No one actually spoke with the house (though I don't know why you assume you'd understand house-language); instead, the call was recorded as a hang-up when it was received by police on Wednesday. After the dispatcher was unable to return the call, police headed to the location—31 Rockaway Ave.—where they discovered a damaged house:

According to the police log, they determined that something inside was leaking before they requested permission from higher-ups to make a forced entry through the back door.

It was then they saw just how badly this house had suffered.

Firefighters pumped out the basement, and all the utilities were stopped, according to fire Capt. Mike Porter.

Nobody's been able to find the owner, but the bills are up to date and his family says he travels frequently. The house, unfortunately, will have to be gutted.

As for the emergency dialing, the lame "scientific explanation" is that water from the leak eventually short-circuiting the phone system, causing an errant call to 911. The cool explanation is that the house—located about 10 minutes from Salem, Mass.—was built on some kind of sacred witch grass, or whatever, but the point is that the house is alive, and it ate its owner, and then it called 911 because it was lonely and moldy. So, you can choose which story you believe. (The second one is better.)