New survey* reveals the certain fate for women at the election (*of tarot cards)

Ahead of tonight’s ‘More than a Pretty Face’ event in Wellington, Angela Meyer and Anna Dean of the Ace Lady Network shuffle the deck and read the fortunes

Let’s preface this by saying there’s an occult show on at City Gallery Wellington. We’re over the endless polls and a great deal of male commentary which leads the news cycle. We thought it was time to go a little wider and find out what the universe is saying and how Kiwi women are going to fare through this election. We asked Master Hosking, Mr Roy Morgan, Mr Colmar and Esquire Brunton to step aside for a moment so we could ask the cards: “What’s in store for women this election?”

Recorded conversation, Friday 18 August 2017.

Tarot deck: Druid

Spread: Chalice and Wands

Location: Boardroom

Angela Meyer: Okay the first card, the Eight of Wands, reversed. There is a nice tattoo on his arm –

Anna Dean: – and he’s wearing a kilt!

AM: The kilt! Oh my god, it’s Jamie Fraser! Jamie’s come to visit us!

AD: Well that’s one thing definitely happening for all the women in New Zealand soon. The next Outlander series is back in September.

AM: What date!?

AD: The eleventh.

AM: God, who cares what happens in the election? Let’s just binge watch Outlander.

AD: What about the card?

AM: It’s reversed, which means the end of an infatuation. Despite having a lot of energy and enthusiasm to progress things forward, there are a shitload of obstacles in your path, which is incredibly frustrating and you’re getting increasingly impatient by the day. It can signal jealousy, and conflict that brings confusion and uncertainty. And, it often means that projects are delayed, or they’ve kind of hit a snag. And –

AD: – that doesn’t bode well for Jacinda.

AM: Or that the love affair with National is over. And what this also says that what is really important now is a shift in attitude. Instead of politicians pitting themselves against each other, how can they do something that’s going to benefit the women of New Zealand? It depends what the crossing card is …

Crossing Card (card position two): Princess of Wands.

AM: That’s good!

AD: She’s got bare feet in the earth.

AM: And long brown hair and she is wearing red lipstick. Who could that be? A Labour-Green mash up? This card symbolises a young women whose enthusiasm is infectious and indicates that she is strong, forceful, determined, and unswerving.

AD: “Relentless positivity”?

AM: Right, great. This card represents a faithful and trustworthy friend, whose insight and perception will often steer her in the right direction. She will be energetic and enthusiastic about life, with a big personality. OMG and get this, the Princess of Wands often symbolises career women who usually wait until later to start families.

AD: Helllooo our fellow Kiwi career woman.

Anna Dean and Ange Meyer

AM: Next up is the Seven of Wands.

AD: What position is this in?

AM: This is about what is crowning the situation. The Seven of Wands is often to do with defending your territory, and when it’s reversed like this, it’s a real feeling of being fucking overwhelmed and sick of being constantly judged of criticised by others.

AD: Under attack?

AM: Under attack from all directions. Feeling quite isolated, like you’ve got to the top and then everyone’s there to cut you down.

AD: So it’s like – think fast.

AM: Basically it is saying Jacinda and all women in politics have the confidence and faith that you can achieve what you set out to.

AM: Often the Seven of Pentacles signifies a deep sense of exhaustion. Think about the women of New Zealand. I mean so many women are not being paid the same as men, and there are only handful of women on boards. So you could read this as Kiwi women feeling pretty unappreciated. For their hard work. For being alive. For being subjected to mansplaining from every avenue. And being expected to have great hair all the time.

AD: Combined with a bit of election fatigue?

AM: Yep. The card asks us to take stock of what we still need to do and focus only on those things that will get us to where we want to be: in government!

AD: Everything’s reversed in this spread so far.

AM: That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just a reflection of what is happening.

Card position five: King of Wands.

AD: What position is that?

AM: The immediate past. At worse, the reversed King of Wands typifies the most selfish, ruthless manipulative bastard who will use you as long as it serves his purpose. It signifies frustration with the lack of progress in your endeavours. Um, hello equal pay! There are people who are holding you back and preventing you from fully realising your dreams and goals. The card says it’s time to cut them loose as no amount of energy will change their perspective.

This is an interesting card because if it’s up the right way it’s about the ideal person to be in charge of an organisation. But if you think of the immediate past, we’ve had chaos in the political space where the wrong people may have potentially been in charge.

Card position six: Princess of Swords.

AD: Oh, reversed again.

AM: This position represents the immediate future or what could play out. This card represents a smart woman who can cut through the bullshit and get to the heart of the matter. She may be anxious that she doesn’t have sufficient knowledge to present on a particular topic, but people want to hear her point of view, even if it is different from others. It also encourages her to be watchful about being spied on.

AD: Ooh, when it’s reversed?

AM: Yep.

AD: So, privacy out the window? And being more susceptible to the trolling underlords trying to cut women down.

AM: Looks like it. How surprising.

Card position six: Four of Cups.

AM: This card position represents is “what is feared” in the spread. This card signifies, same shit different day. There is a guy in the card, lolling about with empty wine glasses… the water near his feet is stagnant. Nothing sparkling in this card.

AD: That is definitely what’s feared in a political context. Surely the women of New Zealand are feeling like we can’t carry on with the status quo.

AM: For sure.

AD: What’s this next one?

AM: This position is what others hope. THE ACE OF CUPS!!! So this is how others see you, what others feel. No pressure Jacinda, or all the other women in politics, but –

AD: – the hopes and dreams of all the women of New Zealand are resting on you.

AM: Pretty much.

AD: This is the cup of lady power.

AM: The Ace of Cups represents the beginning of love, happiness and compassion. This is one of those relationships where you feel butterflies in your stomach and you are so pleased to have met someone you can relate to. There are so many amazing female candidates standing this election. It’s time to vote them in.

Card position eight: Princess of Cups.

AD: What position is this?

AM: This position represents “what is wished”. The women of New Zealand want the Princess of Cups archetype in government. Women who are sensitive, tender, kind, compassionate, smart and fierce…

AD: Considered, careful, loving, caring…

AM: This final card is about finally being able to see our dreams fulfilled.

Card position ten: Queen of Wands.

AD: WOAH. Holy shit. It’s Wonder Woman!

AM: Wonder Woman with a cat! This Queen is a natural-born, intelligent leader who actively inspires others. She instils confidence.

AD: She is a Queen on the throne.

AM: With an optimistic approach to life – a vibrant personality which generates the charisma needed to pull together teams of people! She’s good at communicating the big picture and inspiring people with her vision. Often acting as a catalyst in a relationship or organisation [or country!] she’s confident, full of ideas and energy, but if she or a friend is attacked she can be ferocious in defence.

See that cat at the bottom of the throne? This queen is like a tiger mother. A tiger mother of the nation. Jacinda, Chloe, the Maramas, Golriz, Hayley, Kiri, Julie Anne… Paula if she can focus on something other than buying knickers at Farmers. Judith if she can call off the Collinites.

AD: It’s almost like we’ve set this spread up. But we haven’t. Do you think anyone is going to believe us?

AM: It’s written in the cards, the Ace Lady bus is about to arrive, first stop the Beehive. Time to get on board.

Anna Dean and Angela Meyer run the Ace Ladies Network, as well as Double Denim, New Zealand’s only independent specialist agency focused on marketing to, by and for women. In the 2017 election they are working on the Green Party campaign

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