Couchsurfing can be daunting. I mean, how does one navigate the process of asking a stranger for a place to sleep for the night? That's why I've decided to take a page from Kelly Diel's book and offer all readers the opportunity to ask advice, tips or any questions you might have about Couchsurfing.

I'll begin with answering a few questions that seem to come up often. Then you'll have the change the chance to ask anything you've ever wanted to know about Couchsurfing.

What's my Couchsurfing experience?

I've been an active member of Couchsurfing for the last four years.
I've couchsurfed as a family and alone. I've hosted tens of people and both created and taken part in Couchsurfing meetups in Europe, the
United States, Canada, Central and South America. I even partied and peeled potatoes with the
Couchsurfing camp at Burning Man.

I feel comfortable rocking up in any
city in any country on this planet confident in the fact I'll be able to find a place to stay, a group for a drink or
simply someone to give advice about how to find a bus to the next town.

I'm happy to help you develop the same sort of resource and community in Couchsurfing as well.

How Can I Create A Profile That Makes Others Want To Host Me?

Of all the questions people ask, oddly, this one rarely comes my way. But I think it is probably the most important. The answer is relatively simple, logical and can be answered as easily as one, two, three.

One.Be yourself. Be real. The more honest you are about who you are and what you want in a host or travel experience, the more likely you are to find what you need.

Don't be afraid to include your interests and personal opinions. A potential host is more likely to respond to a request when your profile overlaps with similar interests. That connection can lead to a fantastic surfing experience because, believe it or not,you've dispensed with all small talk by reading each others profiles and can immediately get down to the business of having fun.

Two. Begin meeting people and building up your friends and references before you send out your first couch request.

When I receive a couch request, I immediately look at how many friends a person has and then read all the references. Friends and references let me know how invested you are in the Couchsurfing community. You don't need to be an card-carrying t-shirt wearing Couchsurfing ambassador, but I do want to know you're not just popping on the site for a free place to stay.

References and friends also let me know that others have had positive experiences with you. They allow me to trust you. If we have friends in common, even better.

Nothing sets of my No-Surfing-With-Me alarm bell faster and louder than a profile with all or mostly online-only connections. On online-only friend only tells me that you've contacted someone through an e-mail or chat. Maybe you've even sent a friend request to someone you don't know. It tells me nothing about whether you're a good guest or if you get along with people face-to-face.

I have about 140 friends on Couchsurfing. Only two are online-only. Both of those are people I've known for well over a year and with whom I have developed an actual friendship.

How does Couchsurfing differ from other forms of social media?

Please, don't treat your Couchsurfing account the same way you would
Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare or even Linked In. While you're welcome to
e-mail whomever you want for advice -- of course they may not respond
-- the last thing you want to do is fill your Couchsurfing profile with a
bunch of people you barely know.

I already told you the first thing I do when evaluating a profile is read references. If a person has tens of references, but none of those people seem to know him beyond a couple jokes and a drink, I still know nothing about that person.

But if you've helped someone lay down a concrete floor in their basement, babysat their children and cooked a meal for them, then I know something. Now if you've had similar interactions with twenty different people, I begin to get a real sense of who you are.

I admit, when I first began Couchsurfing, I did add friends in an attempt to bulk up my profile. We all do it to some extent. And that is a fine strategy for just about any other social media forum. Not Couchsurfing.

It's the strength of my connections that matter. You're asking people to
open up their homes and lives to you. Many have children. Would you
trust your home and family with someone you know only through a few
tweets and a short profile?

So how do you meet people prior to sending out your first couch request?

That's where you'll find meetings, get togethers, mash-ups, people
looking for a coffee, for someone to share a car rental, places to
volunteer. Join one of these get togethers. Get to know people in
real-time in real life.

I joined up with Los Comelones in Costa Rica a few years ago. They meet once every month or so to try new restaurants in and around San Jose. Randall e-mailed me about it, but he couldn't go that night. Since that night a group of us met for Peruvian Japanese food, Randall visited us. We've stayed with him in San Ramon. We've gone out drinking and eating. We've cooked together. He's referred his friends to us and vice versa. I've even written an article about him.

It's amazing where one seemingly minor e-mail can lead.

What else do you want to know about Couchsurfing?

Now it's your turn to ask anything you want to know about Couchsurfing. Small or big. Complicated or simple. Just ask your question in comments below or e-mail me with your thoughts, and I'll follow up in upcoming blog posts.

Comments

Really useful post. Couchsurfing can be a mind field when starting out. I recommend hosting surfers in your own home before you go off travelling. We hosted four wonderful people - it was amazing how instantly they felt like friends. This has put us more at ease about trying surfing ourselves, as well as building up some references.

My questions: how do you choose a host? In big cities there are so many that it's overwhelming. Also, we don't plan our next move too far in advance, but what's the minimum notice you should give potential hosts?

Fantastic post. I've only hosted and now that I'm going to Europe for three weeks, I'd love to feel more comfortable being hosted. But oh.... how do you ask someone if you can stay on their couch. It still feels hard to do.

Erin's questions are interesting, too. How much notice do you give a host. Personally, I wouldn't normally commit to hosting someone too far in advance because my life gets pretty hectic and I never know if I'll be here or in the States. I'm more likely to say yes when it's a last-minute thing and the person has a profile that tells me we'll get along. As far as choosing from among the numbers... I may have to comment on that when I get back from Europe and have given it a try.

Big cities are tricky because while there are many more hosts, they're often so inundated with couch requests they tend to be a lot pickier.

How far in advance? The short answer to that question is it depends. Depends on the host, the city, the host's schedule at any given time.

As for me? What tends to work best is when people give me a basic idea of when they think they'll be in town. Then I keep that general time period open for them. Potential surfers will often check in as their dates get closer, but ultimately, I don't really need more than a day or two notice bf someone stays.

As for the rest, I've already started writing a post to address your questions more fully.

(And feel free to let me know whenever you're coming to Salta. Our couch is pretty open right now from beginning of May onward)

I've known for awhile now that I'm interested in being involved in couchsurfing (mainly providing people with a place to stay), but I had no idea it was so involved. I should probably hop on soon and get my profile rolling.

Leigh- thanks for such an informative post. I admit, being new to couchsurfing many of these seemingly obvious things escaped me. My profile on couchsurfing is TravelingSavage. I don't have any friends on CS so your first point makes me concerned about finding a host. I suppose I naively thought things would come together quite easily.

It sounds like there's a bit of pre-travel work toward building up your profile so that in the weeks leading up to your trip potential hosts won't turn you down outright due to minimal friends/vouches/etc. Is that right?

I can vouch for Leigh's abilities on Couchsurfing. She consistently hooks our family up with interesting and insightful people both to host and to stay with. At the beginning I was skeptical about the whole thing but have come to really enjoy and look forward to each new experience. Thanks Leigh... You ROCK!

Thanks Leigh - I´ll look forward to your next post. We are staying in Buenos Aires an extra month, so we probably won´t get to Salta until June now, but we´d love to stay with you so I´ll keep in touch.

My main thing is I don't want to start adding all the travel bloggers I know. Not because I don't want a connection with them, but because the CS connection is a bit different than other social media outlets.

There are quite a few people I'm friends with on FB, but many of them are more business oriented connections. I would have no way of knowing who they are personally. If that makes sense?

There is a fair amount of pre-work to do on CS, but also keep in mind, every host is different. As Guy says below, he's happy with beer and good conversation.

It definitely helps to have solid friends and references, but even if you have just a few, that's fine. Coupled with a well put together profile that reflects who you are and you make your chances of finding a host infinitely easier.

But I certainly couldn't say this is a set in stone rule that can never be broken. If you don 't have time to meet people before you leave on your trip, it doesn't hurt to send out a couch request anyway. You never know how people will respond.

I laid out what works for me and for many of the hosts and other Couchsurfers I know, particularly more active members. It also helps let you know that a potential surfer wants to actually meet you and be a part of the CS community as opposed to just finding a place to sleep.