Our columnist believes girls should not be pressured into pursuing motherhoods or careers, but have the confidence to make their own choice

I’ve spent years drumming it into my daughter that she needs to work hard at school.

The harder she works, I tell her, the better her job prospects .

And when it comes to choosing a future occupation, bearing in mind she is still only 10 and has the world at her feet, I have told her she has plenty of considerations.

The only direction she worries about following at the moment is One Direction but when the day comes for her to pick which path she wants to follow, I hope she’ll have spent some time weighing up all the options.

She currently can’t decide between a pharmacist or a dentist and when she asked my advice, I told her to go for whatever she wanted – just try and make sure it’s child-friendly.

In a world of women supposedly ‘having it all’ it’s not a PC thing to say I know. But the reality is, at some point, my little girl will probably grow into a woman who wants to have her own kids.

And when it comes to making decisions about the future, why not bear in mind that, one day, she might meet a man, fall in love and want to have his babies?

And what’s wrong with talking about it now when she has years ahead to plan for the future?

But, when it comes to females, careers and baby talk, it’s often frowned upon to say a woman should consider making babies more important than having a career.

Kirstie Allsopp has taken some flack this week because she dared to speak frankly about fertility – and how, put simply, a woman’s chance of having a baby declines rapidly after the ripe old age of 35.

So, she reckons, women should have babies sooner and worry about their careers later.

She told the Daily Telegraph: “At the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home and have a baby. That is a hell of a lot to ask someone. As a passionate feminist, I feel we have not been honest enough with women about this issue.

“I don’t have a girl, but if I did I’d be saying ‘Darling, do you know what? Don’t go to university. Start work straight after school, stay at home, save up your deposit – I’ll help you, let’s get you into a flat. And then we can find you a nice boyfriend and you can have a baby by the time you’re 27.”

And while I don’t necessarily agree with Allsopp, I admire her for making some valid points.

It’s true that we are living in a generation where babies are being born to older mothers, and many women are struggling to fulfil their dream of motherhood because they’ve simply left it too late.

People are struggling to get on the property ladder, running up debts at university and many kids are encouraged to go off to university just to get a degree because it’s ‘what’s expected’ even if they have no idea what they really want to do at the end of it.

And then, once they’ve found themselves a career, they bust a gut to impress, rise to the top and then realise it’s not the be all and end all and a 40-hour week might have bought them a nice flat, but they have nobody to share it with.

I’m not about to lambast Allsopp for her opinions. I’ll leave that to the furious feminists on Twitter. But just as she is entitled to her own opinion, so too is each and every 10-year-old who will one day blossom into a woman entitled to live life her way.

While the offspring of the wealthy may well be able to jump into daddy’s firm as a first job, the reality is that for the rest of us, work wouldn’t present too many options at 18.

The mark of a university degree – despite the hours learning the art of downing a £1 pint in 30 seconds and managing to stay awake on the 9am lecture after only three hours sleep – is still a ticket to more choice.

And any parent these days should surely encourage kids to make their own choices, whatever they will be.

If you want kids young and you have a man to make them with, why not? If you want a career first, babies later, then take that risk but don’t moan about it if things don’t go to plan.

Life is all about choice, and it would be such a boring place if we all made the same ones wouldn’t it?

Then again, why listen to me? I’m Mrs Smug after all.

I found my man at school, we went to the same university at the same time, we graduated, got jobs, got engaged, bought our first home and had two wonderful children together.

I’ve had a wonderful 21 years since I left school but others might think I’m completely dull. While I opted to lessen my work hours after parenthood, they continued to rise up the career ladder and now have a fancy title (and a bigger pay cheque) to show for it.

But I have no regrets. Being a Mrs and a Mum are titles enough for me.

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