To exhange services for free with someone seeking expertise; to seek more than advice or information of an individual reputed as an expert

Tracy Snider

Idiosyncrazies

A particularly crazy peculiarity or characteristic of an individual or group

Tracy Snider

apocalapse

still here after 12/21/12

tbv

Ruele

A Rule you regret not heeding or obeying

Andrew Herden

Texan

Activity that the lousy driver in front of you is engaged in

John Fretwell

Gagnostic

A person who is uncertain about the existence of jokes

Barry Whaites

Menions (pl.)

Men who are underlings or devoted followers of a woman and will perform at her bidding without question

James Lascot

Lexicon

Noun – A shady purveyor of used Lexus automobiles

Barett Byrd

tatool

that nincompoop covered in tatoos

John Kontrick

antellectual

adj. opposed to the use of the intellect or intelligence. n. such a person; fool; ignoramus

William Kohlhasee

leptover

The smallest quark that can be saved for later use

David Spharler

Transvestime

That moment when you realise you’re in the wrong bar

Alastair Hannaford

claptivate

to capture another’s attention by applauding

Irene DeBlasio

blump

The body size between zaftig and obese

Sam Downing

idiotsyncrasy

an individual trait which is really foolish

terrence vantaggi

toilert

n. the noise made by an occupant as someone approaches the stall/bathroom to ensure they are aware it is occupied

Brian Smith

halucynate

seeing images of Lucille B

Irene DeBlasio

Hominyvore

Someone who likes grits

Steve Meyer

scentipede

a 100-legged insect that can track smells like a bloodhound

Michael Sandow

Boron

Not only dumb, but uninteresting, as well

Steve Meyer

happendectomy

the accidental removal of an appendix

Sam Downing

Whyf

a female lifetime partner in a continuing marital relationship that questions everything

Katie Rutherford

Flount

a general-purpose word for people who confuse ‘flout’ and ‘flaunt’

Derek Rogers

wanderness

Those places you enjoy getting lost

Jeff Crane

karmarang

Bad luck that comes back again and again

Virginia Crane

testickle

butterflies in the stomach before an exam

John Kontrick

morotonous

The second and third time the same email joke is received

name withheld

Groovity

the natural force that surrounds cool people

Gary Goodman

squintessential

When you can’t see a critical difference

David Spharler

epathy

understanding how someone feels but not caring

Julie Spangler

kingdum

A country of stupid people

matt hodgson

nagnostic

A woman who has no faith in her husband’s competencies, and keeps telling him about it

Charlie Lesko

Foxymoron

A smart blonde

Jean-Paul Churchouse

Unaswear

The state of being completely oblivious to your surroundings, allowing you to curse freely and openly, only to notice you are not alone

Amanda King

flockulation

the results produced by good ministers

Bea vonTobel

Mandelbrot

A type of German bread which still looks like a full loaf no matter how thinly it is sliced.

Derek Rogers

Science Friction

The measure of impedance Scientific Facts the Economists consider when presenting their theories attempting to model the Real World. The default is 0.

Andrew Herden

M@arinate

Baste with an orange sauce

David Spharler

IKIA

A Swedish car which comes in 721 boxes with 1230 pages of diagrams and 3 simple tools

Barry Whaites

Feory

A Theory that instills fear or terror when pondered

Andrew HErden

jack-of-all-tirades

Someone who is angry at everybody and lets them know it

Garry Bracken

infilthrate

the proportional speed of surreptitiously adding grime

David Spharler

mandemonium

The chaos, shrieking, and complete disruption resulting from a surprise visit by the Chippendale’s dancers to your wife’s birthday party

Scott Weldon

SchadenfruedeF

The cynical pleasure teachers get when they give bad grades

Charley Binkow

acrimoney

Money derived from ill-gotten gains

Hazel Vargas

Fibromyalgebra

Math hurts

Name Withheld

Financé

The man or woman you are marrying for money.

Michael McCone

Sapontification

Soapbox Sermon

Nat Adam

factitious

new meaning of existing word, use of a fact by a politian to try to prove an unrelated argument

Mike Hosey

Paradocs

Two doctors who contradict each othe

Michelle Matthews

epoophany

a moment of sudden clarity after some time on the toilet

VK

peecrastinate

When you hold out for your hotel instead of going at the rest area

Annelies Stoelinga

irrevelant

The English language badly needs this word to describe a statement which is a) unrevealing; doesn’t say anything, b) irreverent, and c) Irrelevant

Bob Rutz

styncophant

The smelly guy you can’t shake off at the party

Name Withheld

factate

when a woman recites endless studies about breastfeeding superiority

Sean McElhiney

Humk

One who is in an inbetween state – between being a hulk a hunk

Vicki Black

Fartichoke

Gag reflex reaction to the flatulence of a vega

Michelle Matthews

Furrious

Personally angered by too much body hair

William Dirlam

travishing

when popular opinion says something is beautiful that is actually repulsive

Sean McElhiney

tintinnambulation

Toddler walking around with bells on her shoes

Chris Sheridan

Respite

To commit a mean, vengeful act again

Derek Rogers

erodition

txtng

Doug Langmead

brestitution

anything done to make up for staring at a woman’s chest

Sean McElhiney

Brainbow

an accessory that holds bright ideas together

Alisan Peters

Hangry

so hungry that you start to get angry

Cindy Reddaway

brotectorate

a group of male friends who watch out for each other

Sean McElhiney

ingenueity

n. creativity or innovation presented by an innocent young woman

Lynn DuPree

Imposium

A meeting of questionable value, often called on short notice, requiring participation by people who have little to no value to add, that imposes upon people’s time and impedes productivity

Glenn Pollick

Riduculous

(Adj.) Absolutely over the top or an absurdly difficult task or objective

Nick Sandoval

cadriver

An oblivious motorist that is clearly dead to the world

Name Withheld

Cabitchulate

to give up in the face of screaming meemies

Alisan Peters

Piglot

Designated helmsman for the day when pigs can fly

Michelle Matthews

gymnausium

when guys won’t shut up about their workouts.

Sean McElhiney

assholesence

Being a teenager

Jessica A.

Hepilepsy

The spasmodic condition that results when one who thinks he’s totally cool, can’t dance a lick

William Dirlam

hurricant

I am NOT dealing with this storm!

Patricia Bowersox

crassified

when you whisper something to your friend that would be embarrassing out loud

Sean McElhiney

retiredment

The physical change when you retire and begin to relax

Melanie Curtin

Market Farces

the influences defining the current economic rational

Andrew Herden

falsifried

Standing too close to the fireplace with your new boobs

Patricia Bowersox

Faceboob

(n) Any investor who buys into an IPO priced at 80 times forward earnings

William Dirlam

spychology

Noun: The subversive and/or covert study of the human mind

Andrew Meldrum

arsylum seekers

Those seeking protection from arseholes (assholes)

Andrew Herden

cynicalm

skeptical but really peaceful about it

Patricia Bowersox

goldenlox

seniors meet for brunch

lynne diedolf

Dilitaunt

A negative verbal assault by someone who has no clue

William Dirlam

copulater

A farewell with a promise of meeting later

Andrew Herden

pystified

pissed and mystified at the same time

Marge McIntyre

Chjeer

The art of applause whilst delivering unbeknowst Sarchasm (see last years winners)

Bryan McKinlay

Solidude

A guy who likes his quiet time

Kevin Sutherland

Smarmot

An obsequious little rodent, often found in politics

J. Cates

frogile

a delicate amphibian

Jeff Jackson

Confidentilaity

Secrets of the faithful

Sarita Nair

Ribelius

Ooph! If the Philharmonic plays ‘Finlandia’ one more time this season, I’m cancelling my subscription!

Yosef Branse

Hempty

Being out of weed

Todd

stopid

ceasing to be dumb

Jeff Jackson

Donfirmation

A Mafia mob boss who offers a guarantee on his hit men

Scott Weldon

Collaberration

A mongrel, primarily derived from Collie, Labrador, and Alsation lineage

Dave E

textify

Describes the only way teenagers will communicate with their church or the court system in the future

James Spurlock

conclussion

The injury aquired when the truth hits you upside the head

Phil

Clangdestine

A covert operation that everyone hears about

Derek Rogers

Amnesthesia

A pardon extended to anything said while under the influence of medical narcotics (could also include “recreational” narcotics if desired)

Christian Hargrove

gearrolous

a driver who shifts too much

Jeff Jackson

selfabrandizement

A well executed personal presence or publicity campaign the lacks the substance, skill, or talent to warrant such a public presence

Aaron Miedema

Awfulsome

When something is so bad that it curves around into being good. “G.I. Joe was truly awfulsome”

Hopper Stone

liquefly

To swat a fly in such a manner that its insides splash everywhere

John Smith

Operaytion

Laser surgery

Derek Rogers

tong

a gong with a lisp

Jeff Jackson

oblication

Using your two weeks of vacation to visit family

Charles Gardiner

statusticians

n. Beauticians of the status quo. Those who prefer to put lipstick on a problem rather than effect any substantive change

Anne Milkovich

Exhaustion

A Tired Motor Car

Martin Kowen

telepathetic

The male characteristic of being totally unable to read a female’s mind, although he’s apparently supposed to be able to

Mark Wisniewski

Marital Counselling – Martial Arts

No explanation needed for married people! But even more funny is the fact that Marital Counselling was followed immediately by Martial Arts in the Winnipeg , Canada Yellow pages a few years back

Shane Nestruck

Redumption

The act of forgiving God for polluting our planet with a superfluity of stupid people

Naima Butler

helcome

A greeting before an upcoming bad experience. ex: Helcome to your IRS audit

George Ewton

Grammar

The old fashioned way your Nana talks

Derek Rogers

piono

(pee-OH-NO, n.) 1. The result of forgetting to open one’s fly completely in the men’s room. 2. The split second in which one realizes one is urinating but there is no sound

Jack Gelb

premaditation

The act of cleaning your house before the cleaning people arrive

Charles Gardiner

syncing feeling

The frustration one feels when one is unable to link one’s mailbox to one’s cell phone

chetana

Husbank

A long suffering husband who continually finances his trophy wife’s outlandish spending habits

Emma Sharp

inwastement

To put your money into stocks or mutual funds

Name Withheld

ambassadork

a representative who has credentials but is a real looser

Stuart Hagmann

harmaceutical

(Well, it’s more accurate.)

Ross Kovac

Democrazy

The frenzy that people work themselves into during the elections

chetana

retox

What you do after you’re done doing all that purity bs

Christine Noll

encrouchment

(v.) when a short term visitor somehow becomes a permanent roommate without your approval

Emma Sharp

hamnesiac

overly dramatic actor who can’t remember where he lives

Stuart Hagmann

Nitification

A communication usually from in-laws or ex-spouses pointing out your minor flaws or mistakes

Robert Baron

meanderthal

someone who wanders slowly and aimlessly around shopping malls

Malcolm Gomersall

likosuction

Medical procedure that removes the fatty substance from the teenaged brain which causes the involuntary overuse of the word ‘like’

Donna Griffin

electrickle

What’s left in the flashlight when the battery is almost dead

Sarah

Conquest

(v.): The act of searching for an escaped criminal

Emma Sharp

scarcasm

personal criticism leaving lasting scar; the result of a sarcastic comment

Gudrun Howard

nomomatopoeia

A word that sound like something you want to eat

Holly McCarthy

shivalry

Placing your coat over a puddle for a lady to cross, in very cold weather

Kevin Ford

cienema

a film event that manages to clean out your lower intestinal track

Stuart Hagmann

Guinesis

First book of the Irish Bible

Kevin Ford

poliptical

force in a government that moves in circles that always seem to return to the same point

Stuart Hagmann

Dilapilatory

a hair removal product that leaves you looking shabby and rundown

Derek Rogers

Ladiators

Women who kept their cool while fighting in the Colosseum in Rome

Larry Porter

creditbard

a plastic rectangle that provides you with recitations in iambic pentameter for which you pay monthly

Stuart Hagmann

Polygon

a missing parrot

Derek Rogers

bookwort

The stickem that remains on the back cover when you try to remove the price tag

Kevin Ford

fictionary

A book of words containing fake meanings

Larry Porter

ampathetic

Really loud lousiness

Brian Albert Smith

Asylum

Institution where inmates have trivial and vapid discussions with imaginary friends

Ira Bourstein

wishper

A secret longing expressed in hushed tones

Barbara Yost

Stragedy

(noun) A disastrous event that occurs despite a well thought out plans to prevent such an event from happening

Zack Mullikin

prigmatic

Conveniently self-righteous

Kate Kleist

unferno

A very small fire, or anything that is “not so hot”

Jack Koeper

supperfluid

The state of matter your dinner becomes after drinking the water in Mexico

Betty Clune

Obeisity

Showing way too much respect for food

Derek Rogers

lessimist

Someone for whom everything falls short of their standards

Christopher Domres

Rue

a street in France that you regret having taken

Derek Rogers

pathapathetic

When you don’t care you bad you are

Brian Albert Smith

hozone

Seedy neighborhood where crack addicted prostitutes loiter.

Ira Bourstein

Femorabilia

The things that women save that men do not understand.

Kate Kleist

dozone

Region within the cerebral cortex where Homer Simpson’s moments of insight germinate

Ira Bourstein

Milqueboast

n. A person who is timid, meek, spineless, unassertive and proud of it

Sharys Wheeler

Paradigms

Twenty-cent behavioral patterns.

Derek Rogers

Kibbutzer, n.

One who offers unwanted advice to tillers of the soil

Andrew Raivars

melondramatic

Fruit Opera

Carol Palombo

Dreadnaught

An extremely large tangle with the capability to destroy perfectly brushed hair.

Sean Mathews

deja pu

A mixed breed dog that seems very familiar

George Wrasse

Omnipresent

1. The perfect gift for the person who has everything. 2. The perfect gift for any occasion.

Derek Rogers

marionating

flavoring of meat by dipping it in sauce using strings and a paddle

Joe Pelej

Electrocity

Power bill

Jim Baltaxe

asspiration

exhalation of bodily air from an opening other than the mouth

Joe Pelej

Moetry in potion

Adding the good champagne to the witch’s cauldron

George Wrasse

Disconcerting

cancelling a musical performance

Derek Rogers

schadenfraud

taking pleasure in seeing white collar criminals arrested

Jim Dunbar

zenophobia

a fear of meditating

Sam Wege

Macebook

A sex-offender registry

Jim Dunbar

shucksession

Today’s state of the economy and the lies that got us here.

Michael Burke

boohickey

A mark on the neck left by an affectionate ghost.

Mark Willenbring

apprendicitis

A distressful condition resulting from infatuation with your office female intern. “A cute” apprenticitis can put you in bed for weeks.

Name Withheld

oblitherate

To painfully tolerate the blitherings of another as an obligatory move.

shellee

Kardachien

A leopard print french poodle with its own reality show and clothing line

Jim Dunbar

Meaterologist

A meateorologist is one who studies meteors.

Wronknee

myshugana

Someone you love in spite of their being crazy.

Mark Willenbring

Payrents

Parents who still pay for necessities, like rent, for their post-college children

Todd Meierhans

ippadectomy

An operation to separate someone from their iPad.

Mark Willenbring

retailiation

Getting back at your ex by running up a big bill at expensive stores, shopping with his/her credit card.

DAVID T

Disenchantised

(disenfranchised + disenchanted). Feeling a sense of powerlessness and disappointment while waiting in line at your favorite theme park.

Justin Brooten

Dflat

That state of being in which one finds oneself after going to sleep in the third dimension and waking in the second dimension.

Audrey Borisov

fickle cell anemia

A disease of the blood that runs through every three-year-old, causing them to completely change their mind the second you get them what they ask for.

Matt FritzMiller

pessimist

the fog that rolls in and ruins the day at the beach just like you already told everyone it would.

Derek Rogers

Temperature Inversion

When the low temperature reading for a given twenty four hour period exceeds the high temperature reading for that same period then we have what is referred to in meteorological circles as a “temperature inversion”.

Wronknee

baroccoli

A vegetable preferred by the President.

Mark Willenbring

Irreducable

adj. When you have already limited your cable subscription to the fewest stations possible in an attempt to save money.

Justin Brooten

incompoop

REALLY clueless about money.

Raoul Widman

Facus

(n.) an artificial ornamental tree or shrub often found in offices or waiting rooms

Justin Brooten

Sarcasmic

Sarcasm + Orgasmic
When being a smartass just feels that good.

Name Withheld

You Tubiquitous

Video viewed verily virally

Steve Marvin

Certificute

an adorable little diploma

Scott Beyer

endomorphin

The mind numbing neurotransmitter produced by watching Power Rangers.

Alison Pierce

guidance

rhythmic body movements resulting in a Graphical User Interface.

Lorien Smith

salman

A fishy character.

Mark Willenbring

momenclature

words that mothers use repeatedly to direct their children. The meaning might be sometimes ambiguous to others but the children understand them perfectly.

Don Ray

Entertrainment

“all aboard” for the show

Scott Beyer

exercuse

The excuse you use to avoid exercise.

Kelley Slack

Dairyhoea

a side effect of lactose intolerance.

Derek Rogers

hypnocrisy

n. pretending to be asleep, when you are not.
[ from Gk. hypnos “sleep” + Gk. hypokrites “pretender” ]

Raoul Widman

Whinery

A kennels.

Jim Stewart-Evans

endomorphin

dopeamine

Alison Pierce

Aword

tangible symbolic prize for brevity

Scott Beyer

Pulversize

To make something small enough to fit into a too-small container by smashing the heck out of it.

Kevin Sutherland

Transmogrifry

To cook something until it is changed beyond recognition. See also, Fast Food

Derek Rogers

guidangst

a feeling of extreme anxiety and distress which renders a leader incapable of providing instruction.

Lorien Smith

Slowboarding

snowboarding in Tahoe’s spring slush

Scott Beyer

sargasm

the euphoria derived from a perfectly sarcastic remark

John Kontrick

Celebrant

a diatribe by a well known person.

Derek Rogers

Ecoliseum

intestinal bacteriarena

Scott Beyer

Philanthropissed

Someone who is tired of being repeatedly asked for charitable donations.

Denny Young

Interfearence

The act of wearing a tinfoil hat so that extra-terrestrial beings only hear static when listening to your thoughts.

Robyn Kunz

Deuphemism

a more agreeable alternate expression used by a deufus.

Scott Beyer

Bumtious

(adj) – Overtly proud of one’s ass

Scott Lomas

Refleshed

had plastic surgery

Gary Becker

Vivicious

Being full of animation and spirit whilst tearing the limbs of someone who deserves it.

Troy Scott

Tanorexic

too thin, too tan

Scott Beyer

canflagration

an out of control sterno campfire

Derek Rogers

Prostituition

Working the streets to help pay for college

Bruce Dillon

diaryhoea

(n) – Journal used for recording bowel movements

Scott Lomas

deciball

a dance event with incredibly loud music

Laura Dettloff

Indiguestion

when you are sick of someone who always visits your house unannounced

Gary Becker

Flabulous

overweight and really wonderful!

Derek Rogers

ruminhate

Just thinkin’ Why did I think this person would be a good person to share living expenses with?

Carol Palombo

shubris

Excessive pride in one’s footwear.

Chelsea

bupkiss

a meaningless kiss, such as often seen between people in show business

Derek Rogers

hypertrophyed

a man who is married to his second or third very attractive, much younger wife

Laura Dettloff

Bivocal

one who talks out of both sides of their mouth

Gary Becker

Poxygen

Poor quality air

Scott Lomas

Appelation

A name, such as that applied to a mountain range.

Derek Rogers

Constipatience

Resigning oneself to standing when stools are not available

Becky d’Ugo

Laardvark

(n) Long-nosed burrowing animal that eats lots and lots of ants

Scott Lomas

Deja tu

You again

Derek Rogers

Dermographics

the classification of people according to their tattoos

Gary Becker

catpitulate

To give in and let the cat have its way

Laura Dettloff

message therapy

variation: message therapist,
editor, spin doctor, political hack,…

Travis Randolph

Commodation

Crap housing

Scott Lomas

Inconsequential

things out of order but no one cares.

Derek Rogers

Harmaceutical

a drug with more disclosures and warnings than benefits to the patient

Gary Becker

iCophant

(noun). pron. EYE-cuh-fant 1. An obsessive fan of any new product introduction from Apple Computer Co. 2. An unpaid public relations officer for Apple, who feels compelled to share their press releases with their friends. 3. An annoying serial purchaser of Apple’s shiny new products who must inform the rest of the pixel-sliding world how superior their latest gizmo is to anything else on the market

Joseph R. Duffus

Nocturnal submission

An email sent after 9pm.

F.Douglas Stephenson

Anticipissity

(an-tis-a-piss’-a-tee)- the exponentially increasing urge to urinate the closer you get to the bathroom

Tim Cobb

Myopia

A society of nearsighted people.

Derek Rogers

Colonic irritation

Someone who is annoying but not quite a pain in the ass

John Klarica

Pupdate

what your dog is giving you when he barks

CC Xander

idiota

I’m stupid and I don’t care a bit.

Carol Palombo

Lexistentialism

defining the value of ones life in terms of premium Japanese cars.

Derek Rogers

apocraphal

A story that, despite the gravity lent to it by its patina of age, is still BS

Laura Dettloff

enormopus

a written article or musical work that was to be short and sweet but became too long

John Gilmour

Delarious

Marked by uncontrolled laughter, everything becomes extremely funny or hilarious when one suffering from uncontrolled emotion. Usually brought on by over exertion or fatigue.

Tim Sereda

crapathy

not giving a s***

Derek Rogers

Shoe String

A thin, limp implement used to “shoo” away pests.

Carol Kelly

trustic

The penchant of rural Americans for leaving their doors unlocked and their keys in the car.

Laura Dettloff

authorgraphed

to have a book signed by the author

Sharon Yoxtheimer

biliteral

having two clear, distinct meanings

Derek Rogers

Testosterain

a strong downpour

CCXander

congrassman

A male member of the U.S. Senate or House of Representatives who is in favor of the legalization of marajuana. (also see Congrasswoman)

chris newton

perversaverence

Dedication to depravity.

James Jackson

vivacuous

perky, outgoing, and dumb

Derek Rogers

Vaticant

The inability of the Holy See to control rogue clerics

Laura Dettloff

Diagnosticism

the belief that the cause of anything and everything can be identified, as long as its truth is ultimately unknowable

CCXander

lexicon

a well-read prison inmate

Derek Rogers

tripidation

having anxiety over pending travel plans

Ronnie Roitman

Brandy

(n) The cow that is in the process of being branded.

Carol Kelly

Smartyrdom

sacrificing, to your spouse, your need to be right

CC Xander

crapitalism

crony capitalism characterized by politicians and businessmen shmoozing and wheeling and dealing.

Philip Coladonato

Las Vegans

We love to gamble, but will definitely pass on the buffet.

Carol Palombo

Dogmatic

A robotic canine.

Derek Rogers

Polygon

Alternate meaning ; Dead parrot or escaped parrot.

Colm Corcoran

Racquisition

when one gets breast implants

CC Xander

Mailstrom

The powerful current, running against your life, once you realize that your mail is being stolen.

Todd Meierhans

Sunday

A day to honor male children.

Carol Kelly

abracadaver

a word to make a dead person disappear

Ronnie Roitman

Delightenment

Taking joy in accepting increasingly misinformed ideas.

Derek Rogers

Poolite

giving a courtesy flush

CC Xander

Dentist

(n) The person who bumped into your car in the parking lot.

Carol Kelly

Fakeover

When your beauty consultant invites you to your favorite makeup counter for a makeover from their national makeup artist which doesn’t quite achieve the desired effect.

Rick Hendrickson

Tauntamount

Equivalent to an insult

Derek Rogers

Passengerk

the fellow on the plane who just won’t shut up

CC Xander

funbling

The awkward acts of progress or regress yet having fun in the process. One may often find this old f_rt funbling with communications technologies.

Jack Popp

angiopasty

A device when applied properly, has the ability to cure a man’s broken heart.

Phil Grayson

Manufracturer

Industrial hit-man.

Carol Palombo

junkit

a box of stuff you have no use for

Ronnie Roitman

Polltry

which came first, the chickenshit politician or the egg on his face

CC Xander

Flount

a general purpose word for people who keep confusing ‘flaunt’ and ‘flout’

Derek Rogers

emotericism

The belief that secret mystical information is encoded in the lyrics of whiny indie-pop music.

Michael Heyman

peripathetic

To travel around in a pitiful way

Scott Lomas

Parashoot

the last word of a fallen man

CC Xander

gassimilate

Getting used to that high-fiber diet.

Carol Palombo

chronillogical

events which don’t make sense in any order.

Derek Rogers

Muttress

where one can let sleeping dogs lie

CC Xander

tincandescent

Emitting light meal when heated

Scott Lomas

tailisman

charm that covers your ass.

Carol Palombo

Momnivore

Cougar hunters

CC Xander

exitentialism

A strong, philosophical desire to leave any lecture on Kierkegaard.

Derek Rogers

carma

used car salesman’s comeuppance.

Carol Palombo

Mechantic

people who say they can fix your car, but don’t

CC Xander

Slidewalks

Moving walkways found in airports

Sue Walker

medistation

n : an area of the home used only for spiritual practices

George Felos

sobmission

Taking on the responsibility of relaying a particular sad story.

Carol Palombo

Irrelephant

big things that just don’t matter

CC Xander

pilosophy

Words of wisdom inspired by consumption of hallucinogenic drugs.

Michael Heyman

Impoossible

a synonym for constipation

CC Xander

zenlightened

I really, really got it!

Carol Palombo

Frecal Matter

(adj) Freaky Crap

Blake

romeopathy

Treatment of disease by infinitesimal doses of tragic romance.

Michael Heyman

Fignorance

when you are not quite sure what Isaac Newton discovered

CC Xander

raisin d’etre

1. The purpose of a grape’s existence.
2. A grape’s moment in the sun.

Derek Rogers

receptickle

When you just stuck your hand in something and you don’t know what it is, but if feels good.

Carol Palombo

asslete

A person who is both a professional athlete and a professional asshole.

Moe H.

Glash

the vessel into which you pour your seventh glass of wine

CC Xander

tenticles

(n) The long metal supports which are placed in the inside of a dome tent while pitching it.

Ellen Zimmerli

Oblitereat

How most North Americans consume their food.

Ron Carter

Connoisewur

one who is excellent at recognizing when someone or something is full of crap

CC Xander

fibuciary

n., a person who lies about investments or property entrusted to them.

Derek Rogers

farceny

comedic plaegirism

Carol Palombo

Evidents

what the un-insured driver just left on your car

CC Xander

Leopardy

What is a feline trivia game show?

Carol Palombo

ignorgant

Taking pride in how much you don’t know. (“ignorant” + “arrogant”) Commonly found in … well, everywhere!

Matt Simek

diatripe

A long pedantic speech another gives about facts that are clearly incorrect (at least, in your opinion (-: )

Geoffrey F. Gross

Digitalk

what texting should be called

CC Xander

butteries

Anatomical cells retaining the energy to get you up and off your ass. Unfortunately, most people cannot find out where they left them.

No Name on submission

Whinery

The crying room

Carol Palombo

snice

(n) The result of freezing rain mixed with snow, which forms a white crusty, crunchy cover to your yard.

Ellen Zimmerli

Deoderaint

when everyone knows it’s not workin’

CC Xander

p-mail

what one’s canine stops to check at mailbox posts, tufts of grass, fire hydrants, etc. during a walk

Roberta Bass

Influenza

Italian persuasion

Carol Palombo

Medibation

An action which renders one simultaneously calm and excited.

herbert sontz

Confidance

the belief that what looks like a seizure is actually art

CC Xander

sparadigm

The pattern or set of conditions that define being poor, as in “Buddy can you…”

Matt Simek

angoraphobia

n., a fear of meeting a large number of rabbits in an open space.

Derek Rogers

tossues

(n) used tissues which are crumpled up and thrown.

Ellen Zimmerli

Confidental

Self-assured smile.

Carol Palombo

Cansiderate

those who recycle

CC Xander

sockroach

(n.): The fuzzy bits of sock left on the carpet that you mistake for a bug until you get right up on it.

Ken Norris

tenticles

(n) The long metal supports which are placed in the inside of a dome tent while pitching it.

Ellen Zimmerli

wrankle (v)

To cause feelings of anger and frustration in a woman by selling her an anti-aging product which is not only obscenely expensive but totally ineffective.

Virginia Barrett

jetiquette

Proper and appropriate behavior while flying.

Nicole Goltra

Umderstand

when you do, but not really

CC Xander

Mannekin

Mannequins related to one another. A family of mannequins.

Nicole Goltra

crudibility

n., the believability of questionable information. Ex. “Can you believe this crap!?”

Derek Rogers

Chimponzee

those network marketers whose businesses never evolve

CC Xander

Breakfist

the early morning grasp for food on your way out the door

CC Xander

Carcolepsy

t h e i n a b i l i t y t o s t a y a w a k e w h i l e d r i v i n g

CC Xander

mortcage

n., a house with a resale value below the balance owing in financing.

Derek Rogers

wisp

Worthless Internet Service Suppliers who have the most downtime, which clearly is proportional to the number of computer programmers who are paid to think up something new to buy or that you have to use until it crashes for the last time.

Sharon Holmes

lispstick

Popsicle stick treatment for lisping. Side effects are weight gain and tongue slivers.

A person who takes delight and pleasure in saying things that hurt other people.

Belinda

Autonomous

adj., named after oneself

Derek Rogers

Eatiquette

Dining according to the rules.

Carol Palombo

Car-be-que

The roasting car and throng of people and vehicles that attend it, thus causing a many-hour delay in traffic.

Belinda Conway

Manswer

The reply to a comment or situation that only a man would offer. “Well then, hit it with the bigger hammer!”

Severin Hanou

quadrant

n. a 4-part, loud, angry speech

Derek Rogers

Democrazy

Democracy gone wild

Nathan Smith

pygmilion

the complex relationship between money and the US Congress.

allan

phonogenic

Someone who sounds way more attractive on the phone than they actually are in person.

Mark Chekanow

kidiot

An adult without children who has no concept of what it takes to raise and police kids responsibly so that both he and others do not have to suffer through the consequences of his adult cluelessness; ex: an adult who lets a 4-year-old drink an entire frappuccino and then turns him loose in a mall, restaurant, or other public place.

Linda Chekanow

behemouth

Too much botox.

Carol Palombo

Mirage

an eye con

Al Clemmons

conoundrum

What to name it?

Carol Palombo

adheshive

sticky substance produced by bees

Valerio Cugia di Sant’Orsola

cellery

Mobile phone repository

Carol Palombo

extramartial

warlike situation between husband and wife

Valerio Cugia di Sant’Orsola

lackberry

I forgot my damned phone again.

Carol Palombo

opuslence

musical composition with an excess of notes

Valerio Cugia di Sant’Orsola

Auntagonist

a.k.a. “Uncle”

Dave Wagner

canicillin

The “junk” that collects on your can opener from opening cans of food.

Terrie Burton

sommeliar

Wine steward making up for the restaurant’s cheap wine cellar

Valerio Cugia di Sant’Orsola

ideot

A person whose ideology makes them stupid.

C A (“Al”) Irvine

Overslight

accidental character assassination when the original intent was a mere backstabbing.

Rick Hendrickson

Sneakeled

To be tricked or mislead in a joking manner

Summer Antonios

copaseptic

A state of cheerfulness, even when one is up to one’s armpits in sewage.

Mark Newman

Acrapolis

Ancient Greek lavatory.

Dave Wagner

Bangst

What you feel when you know you’re overdrawn.

Dave Wagner

Canniball

A sport in which the winners eat the losers.

Dave Wagner

Salvotion

Artillery saves the day!

Dave Wagner

Terriflic

A great movie.

Dave Wagner

milqueboast

A man expressing pride in not being macho

Peter Sherwood

subdude

conservative attire

Doug Langmead

canicillin

The “junk” that collects on your can opener from opening cans of food.

Terrie Burton

Slober

What you do not do when you don’t drink.

Frank Hanou

nagrivation

n. – (1.) during travel; the act of constantly being told where to go even if you are clearly sure of your route.
(2.) Verbal opposition to GPS route instructions.
(3.) constant one-sided verbal discord met with silent desperation.

Hi Alison – all submissions do not automatically post; they are reviewed prior to being put on the site. The review is described in the information at the top of the page, but in general, we try to make sure the word is not offensive – so religions, graphic sexual content and politics are usually screened out since we don’t want to be the arbiters on any of this. Our guideline is if a 10-year old would understand and their grandparent would not be offended. If your word is posted it will be with your name. The contest is just for fun and runs once a year in January. We post about once every week or so as this is a hobby. The Editor.