I'm leaving for a week

This evening I'll be leaving internets to sleep at my grandmother's house and then in the morning the family will be leaving to venture into the south where my cousin's terrible mistake of a wedding will be happening.

In the south, I expect to enjoy the following:

Luxurious white-only bathrooms

Entertaining explosions happening at various abortion clinics

The warmth that only a burning cross can provide

I shall be gone for 4 days, possibly more depending on whether or not I can escape the mob which should start chasing our car around day 2. Here on this thread, you can wish me goodbye.

Seriously though, the South can be quite nice. If you don't like politics, then just enjoy the sun, the great scenery and the women (the other great scenery). Most of all, enjoy being offline for a few days. It definitely does the body and soul good!

Also, make sure you don't trespass on anyone's property, especially if they have ferocious pit bulls that are ostensibly tanning in the sun, but which will brutally maul you if you take one step further. Also, if you see an old granny with a 12-gauge, run; they are worse than the aforementioned pit bulls.

Finally, if you are invited in some stranger's house for "Southern hospitality," decline! They can only be serial killers.