Forum Help

If you want to ask about changing your username, have login problems, have password problems or a technical issue please email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com

Posting help:

If you want to ask why a word can't be typed, your signature's been changed, or a post has been deleted see the Forum Rules. If you don't find the answer you can ask forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com though due to volumes we can't guarantee replies.

Login to MSE Forum

Join the MSE Forum

Skimlinks adds tracking to some, primarily retailers' links, to show they come from this forum. For some retailers, instead of using Skimlinks to turn the link into a tracked link, we use affiliated links set up through other third parties. Then if it generates revenue from that, this site is paid. The links don't change the content, or what you see or track individual data ? but they do help fund this free forum. So we hope you choose to switch it on. See the full Skimlinks factsheet for more.

I have had a couple of disagreements with my manager. I didn't think the disagreements were that serious in nature but she has taken it further and earlier this month I was invited for an informal meeting with HR to discuss concerns they have regarding my conduct. I thought it went very well. Two weeks later, I have received another letter from HR which doesn't seem very nice in tone and starting with how we had discussed oncerns about my conduct when interacting with colleagues. It goes on to say that I should ensure that interactions with colleagues be respectful and appropriate or my prabation period (for a new role at the company) could be extended, or possibly, depending on the circumstances, my contract be brought to an end.
I haven't been desrespectful but I get drawn into an argument with this manager as I feel she cannot rationally discuss issues. I'm now worried of even talking to her. During our meeting I said that I understand that a manager has to be listened to and that a company requires a kind of hierarchichal structure. the HR person disagreed saying that things should be done by agreement. That's why I'm pretty confused about the tone of the memo she has sent me now in order to confrim the outcomes of the meeting. This was also carbon copied to the manger in question even though it was only me and the HR person present.
I would like to know what they are up to? Is this just following steps leading to warnings and then dismissal? I'm sure the manager wants rid of me. Can't she just say that my interactions continue to be disrespectful etc then leading to further disciplinary steps? What should I do? I feel quite vulnerable at the moment.

I'd be honest - I didn't meet the terms due to contract specifics but gave it my all. And boy I'd make a point that I'd actually stayed and saw it through, ended mutually blah blah rather then run which is perhaps something much more to be ashamed off... just my take of this time

Could happen to anyone. For all they know you could have been more scrutinised as pay due to go up etc
(My big ears have heard people slate last manager directly not get job.)

I have had a couple of disagreements with my manager. I didn't think the disagreements were that serious in nature but she has taken it further OK so there's a disconnect there between how you and she saw the same situation. and earlier this month I was invited for an informal meeting with HR to discuss concerns they have regarding my conduct. I thought it went very well. Two weeks later, I have received another letter from HR which doesn't seem very nice in toneanother disconnect between what you thought happened and what someone else did and starting with how we had discussed oncerns about my conduct when interacting with colleagues did you recognise the concerns discussed? Or where they alien to you? . It goes on to say that I should ensure that interactions with colleagues be respectful and appropriate strange for this to be explcitly spelled out - it is a given for most people or my prabation period (for a new role at the company) could be extended, or possibly, depending on the circumstances, my contract be brought to an end.
I haven't been desrespectful but I get drawn into an argument with this manager as I feel she cannot rationally discuss issues would she say the same about you? After all, you can't have an argument with yourself! . I'm now worried of even talking to her. During our meeting I said that I understand that a manager has to be listened to and that a company requires a kind of hierarchichal structure. the HR person disagreed saying that things should be done by agreement again, a disconnect . That's why I'm pretty confused about the tone of the memo she has sent me now in order to confrim the outcomes of the meeting. This was also carbon copied to the manger in question even though it was only me and the HR person present.
I would like to know what they are up to? Is this just following steps leading to warnings and then dismissal? I'm sure the manager wants rid of me. Can't she just say that my interactions continue to be disrespectful etc then leading to further disciplinary steps? What should I do? I feel quite vulnerable at the moment.

there seems to be a lot of "I thought this, but they thought that" in your post. I wonder if this is because the organisation isn't a good fit for you and there's a clash? Or is this something that has happened to you before, where there has been disconnects between what you thought and what others thought?

How long have you worked there and what is the rest of your work experience like?

Sorry, I missed your updated post, but I think a lot in my response above still hods true regarding perceptions and disconnects, especially with the point above.

Could this be true?

If I were you, I would reflect on the whole experience and see if there's anything you can learn from. If after reflection you think "no, absolulety all them, I'm grand" then fair enough. I don't know you, or them, and they might just have been out to get you for reasons known best to themselves.

BUT if you do recognise there is some truth in what they said or possibly that there were a series of disconnects between what they thought and you thought then it will stand you in good stead to think about how you could prevent this happening in the future - what cues you could look out for etc.

Sorry, I missed your updated post, but I think a lot in my response above still hods true regarding perceptions and disconnects, especially with the point above.

Could this be true?

If I were you, I would reflect on the whole experience and see if there's anything you can learn from. If after reflection you think "no, absolulety all them, I'm grand" then fair enough. I don't know you, or them, and they might just have been out to get you for reasons known best to themselves.

BUT if you do recognise there is some truth in what they said or possibly that there were a series of disconnects between what they thought and you thought then it will stand you in good stead to think about how you could prevent this happening in the future - what cues you could look out for etc.

My disagreement with the manager goes back to months ago. Over the last few weeks things seemed to be fine; her attitude had totally change towards me. I'm not sure what she's been telling HR because the HR lady whom I met twice was very negative the second time. When I saw her the second time she looked at me and then looked down. I knew then someting was afoot. Then the meeting itself was very negative......picking up on what really were pretty minor erros or eversights which I had made. It was a kangaroo type hearing if ever. I hope in future I can avoid disagreeing with my superior(s). Mind you, this one was a tough cooky and pretty vindictive. She is generally disliked by other employees. And just before last Christmas, I was asked by a HR person if moral was low amongst the employees working under this person. I said I didn't know since I hadn't been there long enough and hadn't discussed it with anybody. I asked the HR lady why she was asking this question? She said because there had been such a high turnover of staff. Unfrotunately, this HR has left the company and been replaced by this other one who has sided with this person every step of the way. Is that what HR people usuall do? Anyway, I'm now out of a job and need to find a way of circumventing the nature of my leaving this post.

My disagreement with the manager goes back to months ago. Over the last few weeks things seemed to be fine; her attitude had totally change towards me. I'm not sure what she's been telling HR because the HR lady whom I met twice was very negative the second time. When I saw her the second time she looked at me and then looked down. I knew then someting was afoot. Then the meeting itself was very negative......picking up on what really were pretty minor erros or eversights which I had made. It was a kangaroo type hearing if ever. I hope in future I can avoid disagreeing with my superior(s). Mind you, this one was a tough cooky and pretty vindictive. She is generally disliked by other employees. And just before last Christmas, I was asked by a HR person if moral was low amongst the employees working under this person. I said I didn't know since I hadn't been there long enough and hadn't discussed it with anybody. I asked the HR lady why she was asking this question? She said because there had been such a high turnover of staff. Unfrotunately, this HR has left the company and been replaced by this other one who has sided with this person every step of the way. Is that what HR people usuall do? Anyway, I'm now out of a job and need to find a way of circumventing the nature of my leaving this post.

This does sound like another disconnect! Clearly what you thought and what others thought were very different things. But is this what HR usually do. Yes. They side with the employers interests, and that wasn't you. You might have taken the red flag when the other HR person left = probably another disconnect.

When trying to explain your departure, you never lie, and you never criticise anything to do with the last employer. The first trips up people too often and most people are bad liars. The second makes the employer wonder what is wrong with you! Stick as close to the truth as possible without telling an absolute and outright lie.

For example - and assuming your reference isn't going to trip you up - "My job was really busy, but to be honest, I didn't find it challenging enough. I really wanted to stretch my wings, but that just wasn't working for me in the last role. So I decided that I really needed to focus on finding that right position, and I couldn't do that whilst working full time. So I took a risk that I know I might come to regret, but I hope not. I decided to focus my time on getting that right role, and I resigned. The reason I think you have the right role for me is..."

How this site works

We think it's important you understand the strengths and limitations of the site. We're a journalistic website and aim to provide the best MoneySaving guides, tips, tools and techniques, but can't guarantee to be perfect, so do note you use the information at your own risk and we can't accept liability if things go wrong.

This info does not constitute financial advice, always do your own research on top to ensure it's right for your specific circumstances and remember we focus on rates not service.

We don't AS a general policy investigate the solvency of companies mentioned (how likely they are to go bust), but there is a risk any company can struggle and it's rarely made public until it's too late (see the section 75 guide for protection tips).

We often link to other websites, but we can't be responsible for their content.

Always remember anyone can post on the MSE forums, so it can be very different from our opinion.

MoneySavingExpert.com is part of the MoneySupermarket Group, but is entirely editorially independent. Its stance of putting consumers first is protected and enshrined in the legally-binding MSE Editorial Code.