So, you’ve been really good and managed to reduce or abstain from gambling for a few months or even years. You’ve attended regular appointments with your gambling harm counsellor; taken up a new hobby; continued to talk to people you trust; kept away from your usual gambling haunts; exercised regularly; and maybe even started a journal to write down your feelings. But then the holiday season happened, and your gambling relapsed.​Relapse happens, but it’s not a reason to despair. It can be treated as a learning opportunity and an opportunity for change. Typically, January and February are very busy times of the year for our service, with new and existing clients contacting us for help. So, we asked some of our counsellors the main reasons people relapse during the holiday season; and what you can do to support your own recovery.

1. Family, home and work pressures.

The needs of family and the pressures of work and/or home life leading up to Christmas can feel like an impossible tug-of-war. On top of this, we may feel pressured to see people whom we wouldn’t normally see and feel judged for having debt or a gambling problem. Feelings can build up like a pressure cooker that needs a release, and at these times gambling to escape can seem like a powerful relief.

What you can do?​Believe in yourself and your recovery. Practice positive self-talk and watch your self-judgement and resentment towards others. Feelings are not facts – listen to the facts: there may be valid reasons to leave some tasks until after the holidays; there may be valid excuses to not visit some people. Talk to people you trust and let go of people who are not supportive of your recovery.

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2. Financial pressures.

It is common for people to see gambling as a way to provide financially, especially around Christmas when there is added pressure to buy presents. We often see people who may have had a big win and feed their winnings back into the pokie machine or place bigger bets in the hope of buying bigger and better gifts for more people. This is a big motivator that typically only occurs during Christmas when there’s an urgency for gifts.

What you can do?​There is no quick fix, so try to live within your means. Before getting a loan, consider seeing a budget advisor. Many loan sharks charge exorbitant interest rates and high fees, meaning a $2000 loan could end up costing you over $5000; that is, if you pay it back on time. We don’t recommend loan sharks and if you use your credit card, try to consider how long it will take you to pay it back. There are some great ideas or ways to give meaningful gifts for little or no cost, i.e. make a craft, food, or gift a voucher for your time, such as babysitting. Avoid giving money or gambling products as a gift to someone who gambles; instead give them a gift voucher as an alternative.

3. Lack of routine.

Some clients told us that they relapsed during the holiday break because of a lack of a normal routine. Having extra free time on your hands, could mean there is more time to think about gambling and feed into those old urges and habits. If you pair this with an already tense home life or difficult family relationships, this could increase your urge to gamble. ​What you can do? Plan your days so they are supportive of your recovery and maybe include a social activity. Keep yourself busy: listen to music, visit a friend, do a crossword, look for new ideas and be willing to try other things instead of gambling. Seriously consider self-exclusion from your regular gambling venues or an app or website-blocking software to block online gambling.

4. No access to counselling and a lack of support.

Some clients told us that they relapsed during the holidays and felt more depressed because they didn’t have access to their usual counsellor. Feeling like you have no one to talk to can contribute to gambling relapse, so it is important to make connections with people, communities and organisations who can offer that support when your regular counsellor isn’t available.

​What you can do? Have a list of people you trust and can talk to as part of your recovery plan. Stay in touch with supportive people; attend regular self-help meetings, if possible, and make new friends. Ask for ongoing support. PGF Services duty counsellor service allows people to speak directly to a counsellor when they call our 0800 number, and during the holiday season we had counsellors available on non-statutory days. The Gambling Helpline is a 24-hour, 7 day a week service which you can also call on statutory holidays.

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5. Isolation and loneliness.

People often start gambling as a way to escape loneliness. Gaming venues and casinos are seen as a good place to meet new people and socialise. During the holiday season a lack of routine and being away from work, can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation as you watch others going to family events or celebrating together; and loneliness is a significant trigger to relapse. This trigger was also especially true for people who had migrated to New Zealand and felt isolated and alone during the holiday season. Many migrants wanted to know what a New Zealand Christmas was all about, and places like the casino offered a safe place to socialise, as well as Christmas themed promotions.

What you can do? Stay away from your old gambling venues and gambling buddies and seriously consider self-exclusion. Find other things to do with your time and make new friends. Some suggestions: join a sports team, volunteer and help others, go to a cultural event, join the gym, find a church or religious community, take an art class. If you are looking for new social connections there are ‘meet up’ apps that link people with similar interests, such as walking groups or movie nights. You may also choose to try a GA (Gamblers Anonymous) meeting. These groups are available all year round and usually don’t close over the Christmas period.

6. Casino promotions.

During the holiday season the casino offers a lot of holiday themed promotions. They have daily promotions where you just have to be at the casino to win, and while there, people could be tempted to gamble. VIPs get treated as special by the casino and are given gifts at Christmas time. One of our clients told us that a lot of places are closed over Christmas, but the casino is always open all night, even on Christmas day.

​What you can do? Unsubscribe from promotional emails sent to you by the casino. Make plans with friends or family and again consider self-exclusion from the casino.

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Small lapses or full relapses happen; and we can’t change what happened, but we can use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s worth thinking about: What led you to think about and plan to gamble again? What did you try to do to stop yourself? What worked and what didn’t? There is always a point when the pressure rises to a place when you think “stuff it – this is too hard” (or stronger language!), so what steps can you take next time to prevent these pressures from overwhelming you?

All you can do is keep taking small steps forward and enjoy today. Keep talking to the people you trust and believe in yourself and your recovery. Allow yourself to celebrate being free from gambling harm!​To make an appointment or talk to one of our counsellors call 0800 664 262 or email help@pgf.nz

Author

Bridgitte Thornley is the National Director Counselling Services and Public Health Support at PGF Services. For more information or to contact us about this blog please email kaitchison@pgf.nz.