Sunday, January 12, 2014

Priorities

If Jessica Ennis-Hill thought that becoming Olympic champion was the most
incredible feeling you can experience, she should wait until she becomes a
mother. I remember watching her on the podium at London 2012, and when that
heptathlon gold medal went around her neck, I thought she would burst with
emotion.

But I guarantee that moment will pale in comparison to when she holds her baby
for the first time, just as it did for me two years after I stood on the top
step at Sydney 2000. To bring a new life into the world and to be blessed to
have a healthy baby – not always a given – really is a miracle and something
very special.

The fact is, there is simply nothing a woman can do that is more important than to become a wife and mother. The chance for a career will always be there, in some shape or form. But the window of opportunity to attract a good man and bear his children is nearly as limited as it is for world-class athletes.

37 comments:

Holding my 7 week old son as I type this. The second he was placed in my arms, after 33 hours of labor, I realized my purpose for living, why I'm here. It was to bring my husband's child into the world. A sense of clarity and calm assurance comes with that, along with all the mushy feelings. There is no way to describe that to the childless, so naturally, the evolutionary dead ends can sneer and posture in blissful ignorance as they work toward another worthless degree or pour all of their maternal instincts into their dog/cat.

The joy of a child is unparalleled, and they will find that out when it's too late for them.

As an older cad-about-town, I meet tons of attractive, single, childless women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. Some of them are divorced. They generally have nice careers and are doing very well financially. But that's about it.

I can tell you: these women for the most part are NOT happy. They try to mask it, but once you know where to look you can spot the signs of misery and despair. Show me a single career woman in her 30s and I will show you a woman hooked on medication, wine, reality tv, turbo-socializing, and her little fluffy white dog. These sad bitches collectively should be held up as examples to young women of what NOT to do with your life.

I once felt sorry for them and suffered slight pangs of guilt whenever I took advantage, but I no longer do.

Yes, they're good at putting on the happy, fulfilled act, but if you actually talk to them, it's not that hard to see the misery and fear underneath. There's not much point in feeling bad for them, though, because even if you try to help -- say you meet one who's not too messed up and think you'll make an honest woman of her -- odds are you'll get rejected because she's been doing that so long she knows no other way. They know how to handle a pump-and-dump and pretend it's part of their feisty, independent lifestyle; but anything else confuses or scares them.

But I guarantee that moment will pale in comparison to when she holds her baby for the first time

Guarantee? I hope she isn't backing that up with money or anything. Sure, motherhood is a blessing for most women, but there are lots of mothers who regret having kids.

The fact is, there is simply nothing a woman can do that is more important than to become a wife and mother.

Important to whom? To her? True for most women, but as mentioned above there are exceptions. To society? It depends on what she's doing, how well she does it, and how her kid would have turned out. If he'd have grown up to be the next Ted Bundy, I think we're all better off if she spends her life waiting tables instead.

Ask any childless 45 year old woman how babies compare to career.

Ask enough of them and I guarantee you'll find one who would rather have a fatal disease than a baby.

But the window of opportunity to attract a good man and bear his children is nearly as limited as it is for world-class athletes.

This is true, and it's important for young women to realize it and make their life plans accordingly. But I applaud those who choose careers and reject motherhood with their eyes open.

Show me a single career woman in her 30s and I will show you a woman hooked on medication, wine, reality tv, turbo-socializing, and her little fluffy white dog..

What is it with unmarried middle-aged women and wine? I'm amazed at the number of women who crawl right into the bottle when their get-married-in-my-early-30s plan doesn't go the way the expected. Wine and SSRIs.

This is true, and it's important for young women to realize it and make their life plans accordingly. But I applaud those who choose careers and reject motherhood with their eyes open.

People who don't have children don't know enough about the experience to have "their eyes wide open". I'm willing to respect decisions other people make for their own lives, but my impression is the vast majority of women who choose career over family will be joining the ranks of miserable wine drinkers.

Pretty much the same reason that a man trying to impress women focuses on wine. Beer and whiskey are for drunks. Wine is sophisticated. You can read whole magazines about wine, and then drop bits of info about the bouquet of this year's muscatel or whatever into conversation, so people will think you spend your weekends touring wineries on the arm of a tennis pro instead of watching chick flicks with your cat and drinking out of a box.

I'd agree that "lots of" is an overstatement if you consider the percentages, but I'll bet the raw number of women who regret motherhood would hit seven figures if you counted worldwide.

and most of the time they usually have a messed up reason for having kids in the first place.

Of course. Those are the ones who should have chosen a career instead, and would be happier if they had.

my impression is the vast majority of women who choose career over family will be joining the ranks of miserable wine drinkers.

My impression is that the vast majority of those who appear to have chosen career over family didn't do so explicitly. Rather, they bought into the "have it all" myth and didn't see the window close until it was too late. I think the ones who decide early that they don't want kids, and don't expect that they'll be able to change their minds later, are likely to be OK.

So if you want babies. . .keep in mind that starting 2016, male fertility, and thus even the chance at those babies -- just merely the *opportunity* to prove yourself good enough for a man's seed -- will be under men's veto.

The contract between the sexes is going to be rewritten by technology again, and this time men are going to be the directly advantaged ones. Women are going to have to settle for the secondary advantages for a change. . .y'know, the dirty, nastier, character-building ones.

Sure, motherhood is a blessing for most women, but there are lots of mothers who regret having kids.

Mental disorders present differently in men and women due to difference in brain function.

It depends on what she's doing, how well she does it, and how her kid would have turned out

If you have been dead for 100 years, and your work isn't studied/read, or deeds mentioned in a high school text book you are a replaceable individual. And even some of those guys are replaceable. I am just trying to give you a frame of reference. So your odds of generating a legacy through work are about 1 in 25 million, but your odds of generating a legacy through procreation is roughly 17 in 20.

Amy G - if by "childless" you mean "woman who has decided to invest in her career instead of marriage/family" then it would be kinder to say so as the term "childless" covers a number of blameless men and women who would dearly love children. Until this past year I was in that category myself. My cousin still is. I was married by 23. She is an attractive, chaste, intelligent woman. Those are no guarantees.

"I guarantee that moment will pale in comparison to when she holds her baby for the first time" - I think most women who hear this probably have something like this to respond back with Pregnant Women are Smug. I suspect a rebuttal to those people is the 29/31 song.

Suppose the woman is a doctor and saves my life. I think she will have done a great thing for me and I must humbly state for humanity. To just say, well if she wasn't there some dude would have saved my life, maybe. She might be really good at her job. Yes, she is replaceable but she still has my gratitude. When someone comes up with safety feature that saves hundreds or thousands of lives they very well may be lost to history but that doesn't mean that their life didn't matter. A nice lady or man who makes the world more just is gift whether I know their name or not .

The fact is, there is simply nothing a woman can do that is more important than to become a wife and mother.

This is correct, and the funny things is, we really do know it. We might try to push that little voice away, but what nearly every woman knows is that she was really created to be a wife and mother. It is amazing that feminism successfully shames us into acting as if we didn't know this.

what I find as a constant source of amusement is the feminists and how they jump up and down and insist that women have the ability to make any choice they want for themselves to live their life the way they please and then viciously attack any woman with the audacity to choose family first.

This illustrates clearly that feminism really isn't about empowering women to make their own choices - it's really about pressuring women to stay in the hive in order to forward their false premise ... a premise that's doing a really great job of gutting our culture.

"So if you want babies. . .keep in mind that starting 2016, male fertility, and thus even the chance at those babies -- just merely the *opportunity* to prove yourself good enough for a man's seed -- will be under men's veto."

A) It already is. Isn't that the point of the "men are the gatekeepers of commitment" concept?B) There would have been such a pill 40 years ago, if the tests hadn't been abandoned due to the adverse side effect (slight testicle-shrinkage in one of the volunteers.)

For an example of a woman over 45 (she'll turn 50 this year) who is childless by choice and happy with it, I give you Amy Alkon, my favorite blogger next to Vox. She is NOT a feminist; indeed, when writing about feminism, politics, or anything other than religion (she's an atheist), she could be Vox in drag.

Vasalgel, what an interesting invention. I predict that those who choose, indeed are able to undergo this procedure will be men with money, which would mean white men best suited to liberty and success.

Oh, yes, by all means, sterilise yourselves. I look forward to conquering a world full of only those least suited to defy me. And please, please do it by inserting a battery into your manhood, because if you are going to destroy yourselves, you should do it with a flair for comedy.

What will Amy Alkon have when she is 85+ in a nursing home by herself? No one will care how many neat columns she wrote years ago. Vox will at least have a likelihood of having some children/grandchildren to give a hoot about him.

We have a monthly bible study at our house on Sunday afternoons for couples with small children (we get about 50 people in our house - 25 of them kiddies). We watched a youtube video entitled Not Until I Say I Do. This is a good video for discussion / educating parents and teens on the dating scene (it's quite Lutheran - just a warning). There are many good points in the video, but relevant to this discussion is the common teaching about women marrying - that a woman must firm up her career first...then think about having kids. This puts the marriage / child bearing age at around 30. Many people believe this is the only way to go...when really this has only been the common thought pattern for the past 40 years.

a) You do know from the context that I was replying to in your reply that "chemicals" was clearly referring to substances used in chemical castration, etc, and not the broad definition of the term. Please don't take my words out of context. Vasalgel does not work by affecting the endocrine system in any way.

b) I said nothing about my thoughts on the causes of men or whether I even supported Vasalgel or not, so don't put words into my mouth. I merely provided factual information on the procedure.

And I appreciate the factual information you provided - especially the clarification on the (lack of) endocrinal effects.

The assertion that men voluntarily sterilizing themselves assists feminists in the accomplishment of their goals is mine - not a thing that I would accuse you of saying. My question was intended to elicit from you an analysis of a man's reasoning for voluntarily sterilizing himself, given that the emasculization of men is arguably the raison d'etre of (especially radical) feminists.

I can't say for sure what goes on in other guys' heads, but since Vasalgel is completely and safely reversible (a solvent is injected to dissolve the polymer) in current tests both in India and in the US, on rabbits (only one reversion failed in the Indian trials, and that was due to an improperly administered solvent injection), it's nowhere near a sterilisation and more a contraceptive effect. Sperm counts were back to normal in about a month after the reversal injection was administered, as far as I know.

My guess? It would be that Vasalgel would appeal most to the Enjoy the Decline crowd. Since it doesn't affect the endocrine system, behaviours brought about by hormones aren't going to be affected much. Emasculation via environmental effects, I don't see how it will change anything. Emasculation as defined by effective fertility, well, men already have any say they might ever have effectively vetoed by the abortionettes. They probably see it as a way of snatching what control of their own decisions - if they can't have a say in whether they have a kid, they want to at least have a say that they ought not to have a kid instead of being at the mercy of "oops" and used condoms stolen from the trash.

Now, to the low time-preference crowd, the argument can be made that any form of contraception, male or female, is anti-civilisational; one of the ways it might be so has been pointed out by Loki. But remember that the Enjoy the Decline crowd is not so much interested in civilisation, so...

On my own part, I couldn't really care less, because I'm of the belief that society passed the point of no return with universal suffrage and this is just us accelerating to the end. I've made arrangements to take care of me and mine as best as I can while the world is prepared for Loki's inevitable takeover.