So, this weekend was eventful. As this friday night progressed, Darkshadow, Fatty, and Myself grow famished.

Warning: what ensues will broadcast a mental image that will burn out your retinas.

okay so were chilling at the Apt. and we just finish our hefty meal of Jambalaya rice, cajun shrimp, and black bean soup. Delicious. The consistency wasn't appeasing but the taste made up from it. then it was followed by what was labeled as "Apple pie". Darkshadow and myself were rooting for cherry when it was purchased, so the sudden rush of cherry and assorted mixed berry flavor was like a celebration in our mouths. Fatty was thoroughly displeased. He then commenced to consume the conglomeration of fruit, sugary bread, and sweet syrup. The addition of Vanilla bean ice cream made it more appealing.

So, as the ice cream and pie was masticated, and quite tastily while being serenaded by the awe inspiring music of Star Wars, we soon noticed that something was catawampus. As our cat "Capitan yoda douchbag thunderforce II" came galavanting across the sea of beige carpet, he decided to hop up onto the ottoman, where Fattys legs lay sprawled across the top.

Mr.Yoda...etc. was having some "rectile problems" that we were not aware of, yet. He began to, as it were, "Drag his Butt" on fattys leg. Needless to say he was not pleased, at all. Fatty began to scream and shout "HE POOPED ON MY LEG!!!!" Then he slapped the cat off of him and said it smelled like poop over there. so the cat jumped off the ottoman, onto the carpet where "something" fell out of his butt.

After close investigation it seemed like the excrement was composed of something entirely inedible. then fatty picked up the cat, and low and behold there was something else hanging out.

Fatty asked us what we are gonna do about it? i said just kill the cat. He then walked into his room. The next thing we see is Fatty walking thru the living room loading a magazine for his .22 Magnum. He picked it up and loaded the magazine into the rifle and started looking for the cat. he was just joking and unloaded the gun.

Well we captured the cat in the bathroom and began to recruit for assistants in "The Art of Removal". Well it ended up being me holding the cat and Fatty extracting the "item". He struggled at first with the paper towel approach, so he got out some tweasers. It worked, what looked like a small red string turned out to be the ziploc seal on the bags of pre-shredded cheese from Wal-Mart. You know the little red piece of plastic that you pull on to open the seal...yeah that thing. Well it turned out to be the entire top off of the cheese pouch. It was about 6" long. Yeah it was nasty. I think it litterally scarred Fatty for life. haha. And now the cat is laying around licking his buthole, anyways that was my friday night, just thought i would share

There was a disclaimer in the beginning of the story, I warned you all.
But you chose to continually let your eyes ponder over this text, drawing a horrific mental image. You were warned...thats all i can say.