Tag: parenting

Parenting is definitely overwhelming. Although it is generally happy and fulfilling, it can also be toxic and exhausting at times. When things are not going well such as when our kids fail to listen to us or when they behave in a nasty way, we can have the tendency to yell at them. Is it normal? Or is it even acceptable?

Most moms and dads regret it when they suddenly and unintentionally shout at their children. But no matter how much they want to stop themselves from doing such, they admit that yelling seems to be a natural response.

I understand this sentiment. There are just times when our kids could easily bring out the unexpected beasts in our supposedly soft and loving hearts. But as much as possible, we don’t want this to happen. We want to continually be our children’s protector, nurturer, and safe refuge.

Not shouting at our kids is essential in making them grow mentally healthy and emotionally secure. Studies even point to the ineffectiveness of shouting in disciplining our children. When we yell at them, we do not address the main cause of misbehavior since they won’t usually be receptive to explanations during moments of distress.

To help you prevent from shouting at your children, I have compiled six of the best ways that you can use to make sure that you enforce positive discipline:

1. Identify what triggers your shouting.

In order to address the problem which is yelling, then we also need to know the cause of your response. Look back at the times that you have yelled at your children. Was it because of certain misconduct? Then go the extra mile in order to prevent such misbehavior. If your children usually mess up during meal times, why don’t you start teaching them table manners according to their age? If you have a toddler, then you could set up paper floor mats that could catch the dirt as she feeds. Do whatever it takes to prevent your triggers from arising.

2. Make your commands doable and easily understandable.

Your children surely have not fully matured yet, right? Then you must work on the instructions that you give them. If you want them to clean the living room, then be specific with your orders and give them one at a time. Ask them to pick up the scattered toys first, then only after that shall you order them to put the toys in the ottoman or do other things related to it. Do not bombard them with a lot of orders because they will surely fail you at some point in time and that could just cause your emotions to rise again.

3. Offer warning signs to generate teamwork.

Be able to communicate to your children that you might be at the brink of a disastrous response and that you don’t want to reach that point. It would be nice if you could directly tell them that you are already losing patience and that you may now be triggered to shout. Such warning signs, when communicated peacefully, can generate teamwork because children would most likely rather prevent you from losing your cool than do otherwise.

4. Set realistic standards.

Your kid is not an adult; thus, you cannot expect her to be behaving like an ultra-disciplined adult who has been trained to follow all orders without room for mistakes. If you have a toddler, then don’t expect her to be eating mess-free. If you have an infant who keeps on crying at night, then don’t get mad at her for keeping you awake. After all, our expectations usually set the foundations for our behavioral responses.

5. Reflect on your day and your life.

Have you had a bad day? Has it been months since you last had your own time for yourself at the salon or a coffee shop? Have you been feeling anxious because of career disappointments? It is important to examine yourself most especially when you have been delivering not-so-acceptable behavior towards the people around you. Be able to know how to address your own frustrations so that you can also live peacefully with your children.

6. Practice. Practice. Practice.

Yes, it can be hard. Even when you become intentional in changing yourself, your child, and the circumstances, you could still suddenly yell at your child when certain situations happen. If ever you fail, do not ever think that it is the end of your journey to positive discipline. It could take time and a great deal of effort. Keep on practicing. But whenever you fail, do not forget to make a personal apology to your child about what you have done. Let her know that you are capable of asking forgiveness and that you need her help to remove the yelling tendencies.

Regular schedules provide the day with a structure that orders a young child’s world. Although predictability can be tiresome for adults, children thrive on repetition and routine. Schedules begin from the first days of life. Babies, especially, need regular sleep and meal programs and even routines leading up to those activities.

As they gets older, when a child knows what is going to happen and who is going to be there, it allows them to think and feel more independently, and feel more safe and secure. A disrupted routine can set a child off and cause them to feel insecure and irritable.

Dinnertime is a great place to start setting a routine. Sitting together at the dinner table gives children the opportunity to share their day and talk about their feelings. This is also a great time to include some responsibility in your child’s routine, such as helping to set or clear the table.

And regardless of how exhausted you or your children may be, don’t be tempted to skip winding down from the day. This is part of a nighttime ritual and allows both child and parent to decompress after a busy day. It also helps bedtime go more smoothly. This is usually the time of day when parent and child can spend some quality time together, so fight the urge to start the laundry or do the dishes until after the child has gone to bed. If this isn’t possible, consider trading off these duties with your spouse each night to ensure your child has quality time with each parent on a regular basis. Take the time to find out what wind-down strategy works best for your child. Some children are actually energized instead of relaxed by a warm bath, so if that’s the case with your child, bath time should be saved for a different time of day. Whatever routine you settle on, make it quiet, relaxing, and tranquil for everyone.

And though routines are essential, there should be some room to be flexible as well. You might be out late at night on a family outing, have unexpected company show up that may result in a skipped meal or nap in the car while running errands in the evening. In these instances, it’s important for you to keep your cool. If you express frustration or anger about disrupting the routine, your child will as well. Prepare children for such unexpected events and show them that though it can happen from time to time, the routine will return the next day.

For more than two years, your child could have been solely under your care. She may be used to just staying at home either alone with her toys or playing with her siblings. But you must know that she cannot stay at home forever. She has to explore the world and start learning about broader possibilities. So how do you prepare your child for preschool?

Here are some of the most effective tips to let your child become physically, emotionally, and mentally ready for preschool:

1. Talk to your child about the need for preschool

Communication is the key to healthy relationships. Even when your child seems to be so young for serious talks, you should still make an effort to explain to her that going to preschool is necessary. Give her ideas about how exciting preschool could be. Describe to her the fun of meeting new friends, singing nursery rhymes, and playing outside.

2. Use the preschool concept during pretend play

You surely know how children love pretend play activities. If you are running out of new ideas for your pretend play at home, then it is now the time to consider having a preschool pretend play concept. You could first act out as the teacher and your child as a student. The roles could interchange every day depending on your goals.

Set up a preschool corner at home that is equipped with a study table, chair, puzzle mat, coloring materials, and more. Make sure that your pretend play will have a similar schedule to the preschool format. There must be a designated time for singing, circle time, story-telling, snack time, and free play.

3. Read books about school

When you go to the bookstore, you can choose the books that are about school or where the story’s setting is in the school. This can stimulate the interest in school in your child’s mind. It is also a creative way of giving her a subconscious idea about how children should behave in school.

4. Visit the preschool.

Anything that is strange can stress out a child. You do not want your child to feel worried because of a new environment. It would be wonderful if you can frequently bring your little one to the preschool a few weeks before the actual start of the school year. Talk to the management if you can let her play for a few minutes at the yard or if you could just spend some time roaming around.

5. Schedule playdates with other children.

If your kid isn’t used to spending time with other children, then you have to introduce the idea of a social group to her. You could speak with other moms in your circle of friends or in your neighborhood to have a series of playdates among children. Carefully plan out the activities for your playdate so that every moment during the session can be a meaningful opportunity for learning and growth.

6. Meet the teacher.

The teachers of your child will be her second parents while in school. Your little one must feel comfortable with her teachers and even with the other personnel of the school. Schedule a meeting with the teacher where she can speak with you and your child. During the meeting, you must be able to relay all the necessary information about your child such as her behavioral nuances and medical condition.

Going to preschool is another milestone for your child. Be sure to make the process as fun as possible. Use all your creativity and exercise your patience during this transition.

We must know that real danger is looming most especially when we have babies and toddlers under our care. Do you have any idea how to respond when your child accidentally gets choked by a piece of candy? What shall you do when your little one’s nose suddenly bleeds?

As parents, we must know how to appropriately react to every accident or misfortune that happens to our babies. To help ensure the safety and well-being of your little child, here are some of the 8 crucial first aid tips that you must be aware of:

Know how to save your baby from choking.

The first step in saving your child from choking is by administering five (5) firm back blows between her shoulder blades. It is done by putting your baby on your arm towards the floor and then forcefully tapping her back in a repeated manner.

The second step for rescuing a choking infant is by turning her over from facing the floor towards your direction. Then you will have to perform five (5) chest thrusts. You can do this by placing two fingers in the middle of her chest and exerting effort to bring out the

Immediately cool off skin burns.

Accidental burns usually happen in the kitchen and in the dining area. It is, therefore, important to have burn ointments in your cupboard. The first thing to do when a boiling pot of soup has been poured onto your child or when a flammable substance hits your little one is to wash off the burnt area in running water for 10 minutes so as to cool off the surface. Severe burns shall require emergency medical attention.

Disinfect wounds immediately.

Wounds can be a normal part of childhood but you have to know that some wounds are prone to infection. You will have to immediately wash your child’s wound with water and soap. After that, apply an antibacterial ointment to prevent infection.

Never disregard insect bites.

Insect bites are very common among children. Despite this, you still have to be very careful about handling insect bites because they can cause large swelling and skin infection.

The first thing to do upon observing an insect bite is to apply a cold compress to the affected area. Then it would be nice if you have an insect bite ointments, an antibacterial cream or hydrocortisone ointment which you can apply on the bite.

Pinch the nose in case of nosebleed.

Nosebleeds without any known cause can be very alarming. You can pinch the soft part of your child’s nose for about 5-10 minutes until the bleeding stops. However, children with G6PD deficiency and other blood-related conditions shall be brought to the hospital immediately after a nosebleed incident.

Observe your child after bumping her head.

Infants who are learning to crawl and stand are those that usually experience head blows. Immediately get an ice pack or cold compress if this happens. Do not let your child sleep right after an accident that involves her head. It is also crucial that you observe your child for any changes in behavior, vomiting, drowsiness, or unconsciousness. Bring her to the doctor at once if you have observed any of the previous conditions.

Learn CPR and first aid.

Education and practical training are keys to making sure that you can protect your children in case of untoward incidents. It would be very wise to learn about CPR and first aid from reputable professionals.

Have a first aid kit in all your rooms, in your car, and in your baby’s bag.

Accidents are unpredictable. Every second is crucial to saving your child’s life. Be sure to have a first aid kit in every part of your room most especially in your bathroom and kitchen. Also, be sure to have the kit in your car most especially when you frequently travel with kids.

Get a FREE parent’s mini First Aid Course Material when you purchase the book “How To Keep Your Sleeping Baby Safe (valued £197 – But priceless if it saves your child’s life) + FREE report on How To Get More Peaceful Nights With Your Baby.

Even the best behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They’re equally common in boys and girls and usually occur from age 1 to age 3. Some children may experience regular tantrums, whereas for other children, tantrums may be rare. Some kids are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.

Toddlers are trying to master the world and when they aren’t able to accomplish a task, they often use one of the only tools at their disposal for venting frustration – a tantrum. There are several basic causes of tantrums that are familiar to parents everywhere: The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are often the result of children’s frustration with the world. Frustration is an unavoidable part of kids’ lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work.

Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.

Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach, which will make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one’s short attention span by offering a replacement for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. And choose your battles: consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn’t. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst.

Make sure your child isn’t acting up simply because he or she isn’t getting enough attention. To a child, negative attention (a parent’s response to a tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to establish a habit of catching your child being good (“time in”), which means rewarding your little one with attention and praise for positive behavior. This will teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy happy and proud, and they’ll be anxious to do it again and again.