Saturday, May 27, 2006

The reason why I have never visited the Rhododendron Species Botanical Garden (at Weyerhauser), is because we only live 5 minutes away from it.

Last week, O and I went out for an adventure, and ended up at this garden. It was incredible...As it happened, it was raining cats and dogs, which meant we basically had the place to ourselves. I carried O in a wrap on my front...had a backpack on my back and off we went...I loved it...and think O enjoyed himself as well. Due to logistics, I didn't bring my camera, which I so missed at certain key points in our trek. (See Sheltered Space of Being for pics of these...)

Fast forward to today...we decided to visit the garden again...it was cloudy and showers were expected...we packed the piglet, the Olympus, Joe and I and off we went! Joe carried O in our latest carrier addition, an Ergo...and I carried my Oly! Yey!!!

The garden was fantastic as well...here are some pictures from our jaunt!

It's been a while...I have been so busy chasing after O...I rarely have time to sit and write...let alone photograph him! O is growing and growing...it's amazing to see the changes...everyday something new comes up. His crawling has improved as well...he sometimes crawls with a leg extended out...Yesterday he began letting go of whatever he is holding as he practices his standing...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Monday, May 15, 2006

I love this picture of you and Gigi...I took it from the porch, looking in...Gigi's expression as she is looking at you is just beautiful...

Unfortunately, it didn't occur to me that I should have requested a picture of you and me for this celebratory event!!! (I was even cleaned up...which rarely happens these days...as you know...)...there's always next year.

We went over to dad and Jeri's and celebrated the day with the whole gang...These are a few of my favorite photographs of the day.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

So he crawls...(Did I mention that in an earlier post?) Let me be the first to admit that I HAD NO IDEA what this really meant. Life as I knew it a week ago is OVER. I am beyond poooooped. (And being sick didn't help any of us...but we are all recovered now! :-))...I get up at 6ish with the piglet...and am usually in bed by 8. Tonight is an exception, as I thought if I don't stay up and blog, I'll never make another entry here...and my photography has suffered as well...He no longer sits for a photo...now he sees the camera and he comes right to it...I need to learn action photography...But what can I say...it is a delight to watch him grow...he is a very happy and busy little boy! Yey O!!!

Monday, May 01, 2006

(For those of you keeping strict notes on his development, this all happened on Saturday, April 29th...sometime in the afternoon...(I think)...He took three steps forward and two steps back, for a total of one step in the right direction.

Now, 2 days later, he is a master crawler...achieving maybe 5, 6 or 10 crawling steps before the face plant.

O has a cold...nothing too horrid (yet!)...Last night he went to bed at his usual time and at 1:00am was completely awake...and stayed that way for 1.5 hours...so I didn't get much sleep, as at 6am he was up and ready for the day.

By the time I took him to bed this evening, he was very tired and not too comfortable with his runny nose...I laid him down and gave him his bottle...he then began rolling around while I just watched him...soon he began crying...harder...and harder...I tried tapping his back, humming, caressing him...nothing worked...he crawled over to me so I picked him up and held him...he then began to arch his back and cry even harder...

It was at this point, while I was being mindful of my body/emotions, that I realized how utterly horrible it is to not be able to comfort my own son. Not that I wasn't trying, but he just wasn't having it. He wanted "OFF ME NOW!"...and so I gently laid him down again next to me, and the same thing happened...

The point of sharing this is that even though I wanted so much to be able to take his pain/discomfort away, I wasn't able to do that...and this brought up for me feelings of sadness and longing.

I wondered if I could breastfeed, if he would have been comforted. I read in a forum I frequent a woman making a comment that she loved how she could immediately comfort her child by putting said child to the breast...and how she "chuckles" when she sees a bottle (read formula) feeding mom try stuffing a bottle into the crying baby to no avail...and this is what I thought about...She may be right...although I think her apparent joy at the struggles of others says a lot about her...but that's not the issue here...

When I began feeding O as a baby, I held him in my arms...then, for a reason I don't remember, I began feeding him as he lay his head on my thigh...(and so did Joe)...O would eat well and fall asleep...and I have to say it is much more comfortable for the feeder...Is this the reason why I can't comfort him now?

Who knows...in the end, he crawled over to me and I picked him up...We went into the kitchen and prepared another bottle of formula...We sat up in bed as I held O in my arms...all 25lbs of him...and fed him. I held him for a long time...listening to his little breaths...watching him fall into a deep sleep as his little body fell limp in my arms...

Well...there is no conspiracy...it is what it is...sometimes I won't be able to comfort O as I wish...and other times I will.