Ryan Lochte’s one liners are… interesting

Last night’s premiere of Ryan Lochte’s new reality show, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, certainly confirms the widespread assumption that the Olympic gold medalist isn’t exactly the brightest star in the sky. The E! show joins the ranks of other fantastically mind numbing and diverse programs like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami, Kourtney & Kim Take New York and Khloe & Lamar. Watch this short video of Ryan Lochte failing miserably at interviews, then try and imagine that for 22 minutes straight and you’ve got WWRLD.

I get a very Jessica Simpson circa- Newlyweds meets lax bro vibe from Lochte. Harmless and goofy, but maybe not all there mentally. Here are just a few things we learned about Ryan last night as told by some of his greatest quotes.

(Photo by: Sam Jones/ E!)

He loves Mel Gibson almost enough to get the movie title correct:

“One of my favorite movies is ‘What Woman Want.’ The Mel Gibson one … If I could read woman’s (sic) minds, I would be king of the world”

A lot of his thoughts end mid-sentence:

“I’ve never been asked that question, ‘what is the Lochte Edge,’ and…I honestly have no idea, it’s…”

He’s a serial dater:

“It might be the same place, it might be the same table, but it’s a different girl.”

And medals are just another accessory:

Producer: “How many medals do you have?”
Lochte: “Oh… I don’t even remember what I got at the Olympics.”

He wants to be a fashion powerhouse:

“These are my shoes that I designed from top to the very sole to the very top to the bottom. Laces.”

But politics aren’t his forte:

“DC girls are straight to the point. Politics, politics, more politics. My head started spinning like woaaaaah.”

He refers to himself as Ryan Lochte & his friends as his “Lochterage”:

“Ryan Lochte’s an honest guy and I’ll always pay my bets off.”

He overcomes obstacles… like going on dates with girls who don’t like sushi:

“One thing I won’t do: I won’t give up on love.”

Because he’s got it pretty good:

“For me, being Ryan Lochte is fun.”

Also:

“JEAH! I really don’t know what it means.”

So who watched it and will you be tuning it again? Did you find Lochte to be charming or annoying? And what was your favorite quote of the night?