A relaxing afternoon with Death

Thursday

Death isn’t a topic oft-discussed, but it is an end we all face and for many, it is a conversation worth having.

But it isn’t a conversation easily found, at least not until Friday, Nov. 2, when Worcester holds its first Death Cafe at Rural Cemetery, 180 Grove St., 5-7 p.m.

Death Cafe isn’t mired in the sadness of death, rather it focuses on open conversation on a taboo topic.

“I think as humans we are naturally drawn to things we don’t understand or know about,” said Worcester Death Cafe host Kat Kimball. “There is an aversion to talking about death, but it’s fascinating and interesting and healthy.”

Kimball is a Worcester native living in West Boylston. Attending a Cambridge Death Cafe in 2014, she was transfixed by the experience.

“That was the first one I had heard of or attended, Mount Auburn,” she said. “I’m not a ‘Star Wars’ fan, but it was like going to a ‘Star Wars’ convention for me. It was the greatest day of my life. It was awesome. I’ve been hitting up Death Cafes around for several years.”

The first Death Cafe took place in 2011 and has since spread around the world, with 61 countries having hosted the event. Those attending Death Cafe events will drink tea, eat cake and discuss the end in a upbeat manner. The organization’s objective is to “increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.”

“I’ve never been to one where everybody wasn’t laughing at some point,” said Kimball. “There are a lot of questions and interest and curiosity, but a lot of times it’s funny.”

While the events have their share of fun and funny moments, for many directly talking about death is a rare experience and one they appreciate.

“Some people just want somewhere to go where they can talk about it matter of factly,” she explained. “This was my experience, I don’t have an opportunity to talk about it. Other people have questions, but don’t have resources. People can guide them.”

In Kimball’s experience, no two Death Cafes are alike, and each yield unique talking points. From personal stories, to different styles of cremation, to cultural inputs involving death.

“Depending on which you go to, there is a different feel,” she said. “Some are more young, different message-based, more industry-based, getting different points of view is very interesting. In the beginning, [we talk about] different ways to deal with taking care of a loved one after they’ve passed.”

To Kimball’s knowledge, the upcoming event at Rural Cemetery will be the first of its kind in Worcester. While reluctant to host the event initially, she decided to take the reins.

“With as historic as New England is with cemeteries, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner,” Kimball said. “We‘re all destined to go to the same place. We might as well talk about it, avoiding it doesn’t help. We’ve become so far removed from death, everybody doesn’t really know what to do. It’s scary, it’s unknown, it’s awkward and people get left alone. I don’t know if it would ease that right away, but at least it gets the conversation started. You can talk about it, there are people who want to. I would urge anyone to attend an area Death Cafe, they’re fun. I think they’re fun.”

Death Cafe is designed to be approachable for newcomers and not feel intimidating. Attendees will introduce themselves and Kimball will give a synopsis of what the event is all about. There is no direct itinerary and people are welcome to break into groups and talk about what brought them there, or what their interests in the topic of death are.

“I think it’s important for people to start having conversations with their families, it’s healthy to talk about it and not avoid it and deal with it,” said Kimball. “It gets an idea of what people want if you’re going to be left behind to take care of everything. Some people are just curious and want to know more. It’s a good place to start.”

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