The first interview with a victim of sexual assault can make or break a case and sets the tone for the whole process, said Gill.

"It is about giving back some control to the victim," Gill said.

With Gill on a panel discussion on understanding and supporting victims of sexual violence were Assistant Hampden District Attorney Jane Mulqueen and Mary Walz-Watson, Western Massachusetts regional coordinator for the Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner program.

Although people may think the UMass response site would be extremely busy, she said, it is not. If a sexual assault on campus involves alcohol it usually is not reported, she said.

SANE nurses are more than the people who use the sexual assault kit on a victim, Walz-Watsonn said.

They develop a rapport with the victim, who then makes their own decision if they want evidence to be collected, she said.

The details given by a victim lead the nurses to where to collect evidence.

Walz-Watson talked about one case where a woman said she had one drink and got in a car with a group of friends.

The woman said her next memory was 18 hours later when she woke up in another town with no purse or phone and hurt.

"She asked me if she was assaulted," Walz-Watson said. In instances of lost memory, the nurses collect evidence from everywhere.

Walz-Watson said she hates it when a doctor writes "alleged sexual assault" on a medical form rather than "reported sexual assault." She said doctors don't write "alleged heart attack" on medical forms.

Gill said things she hates to hear when there is a sexual assault case is, "At least you didn't get hurt," "Why didn't you scream?" and "Why didn't you tell someone before this."

Mulqueen said as a prosecutor she needs to realistically explain to a victim what the criminal justice process will be like to answer the question of whether or not a prosecution will revictimize them to the point it is too damaging to them.

She has to tell the victim the questions they will face from defense lawyers in court.

Also in play are the many myths about how a victim should react, Mulqueen said.

"It's our job to educate - one jury at a time," she said.

The audience of social workers, victim advocates, teachers, police and others heard from Dr. Heather Forkey of the UMass Child Protection program in Worcester and Dr. Stephen Boos, director of the Family Advocacy Center at Baystate Children's Hospital.

Forkey said in her work with children, "The scope of violence is profound."

That could include all manner of abuse in the home and bullying or other incidents at school or in the community that create toxic stress, or stress that has a lasting harmful effect and influences development in the brain, she said.

"Let's stir in a lot of media, see what is does," Forkey said, giving statistics on how much young people are viewing media, sometimes several sources simultaneously.

She said the biggest debate is whether media violence (including video games) can influence tolerance, empathy and thus aggression.

Boos said studies show victimization in early life through a series of events may predispose someone to later victimization.

He said with multiple stresses and no circle of support a young person may feel life stinks, it's always going to stink, and it is going to take them down with it.

Bad things, such as abuse, that happen in childhood - without comfort and support - can take a toll of the brain and affect functioning of things such as impulse control, drug use, and other risk behaviors, he said.