Welcome

Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

I recently began to visit the local cafeteria at work. They make this delicious Philly cheesestake. So today I went there and the cook is a big black Carribbean man with a heavy accent. I don't understand a word he says so he gets mad at me because I ask him to repeat what he says. It't just not me who doesn't understand him. So each time I go there he and the other cook give me a look and start laughing, I am pretty sure they are talking about me but I have been dealing with enough shit that i choose to ignore them. When I got to the line and was ready to pay the other to girls are also from the Carribbean were making a comment about a "guy" that goes there ofthen that they believe he is from Cuba, Mexico or Chile.

Register girl 1 said "Oh he is from one of those countries, you can't tell the difference" Register girl 2 "true, oh yea the gay guy you were talking about last time"Register girl1 " why you call him gay guy, lol" laughs out loudRegister girl 2 "because he has nice eyebrows and wears clothes no other guys wear" Register girl 1 Laughs " true, but maybe he doesnt practice his gayness" Register girl 2 " It's a choice to be or not be gay, you know that girl"Register girl 1 " Yea i know"

So i paid for my food, and wanted to say something to them but I was just really upset. Many times they have been disrespectful to people who buy food and I feel like they were talking about me and trying to make fun of me for no reason at all. I feel like the Cook gets mad at me because I can't understand his Jamaican english accent. I never intended to make him or the rest of the staff feel bad. I am at a point where I feel that those comments were directed towards me and find it tasteless that they would attack me in this manner. They disrespected my ethnicity and my sexuality by their comments. I don't know if I should complain about them, it is not in my nature to start problems or fire anyone. Even if there comments were not about me, it is not a place to voice your opinion about such manner.

I know that what they did is inappropriate. But now more than ever I've learned to let unmeaningful things or people in my life go by. All I hope is that they don't say things like that when I am very moody, because I will get them fired. I will give them another chance and if they continue to aggravate me then they will not only hear me but so will their managers.

Well I have never had this problem, I am fluent in the patois. I do have a tip for you though. Next time you go in there say " I smell ganja... Can you smell it? Damn someone is smoking ganja!! " Say it everytime you go in there...

Go and buy a Guns and Ammo magazine also and act like your reading it on your break.. Yardi's are really a cowardly bunch trust me.

Cafeteria workers are bitter because they have to work hard for little pay. I noticed the inherent animosity when I first started working at my hospital over 7 years ago.

I made an effort to make friends with them, and the animosity stopped. I made a point to learn their names, and though they can't always pronounce my name, they have their nicknames for me. Of course, they still bitch about their bosses and some customers, but they tell me on the sly, under their breaths.

Every few months, I bake banana bread for them. For Christmas, I always give them a little something, even if it's just a miniature candy bar with a bow on it. If I can afford it, I do the same thing for "National Cafeteria Workers' Week," or whatever such shit it is.

I've heard a self-described "church-going, country Negro" cuss, and I've learned how to say "I want white cheese," and "Thank you," in Bosnian. I get extra helpings in the serving line, and unspoken discounts at the check out.

I agree with Basquo, I'll try to kill them with politeness for awhile. Then if they are resistant still, that's when you go on the offensive. Just make sure that when you bring your grievance in to the proper people, they are made aware of how hard you tried to be friendly. State that you are only doing this as a last resort, and that you are very unhappy about being forced into this situation by their behavior. Find out from other coworkers if they have these same problems, there is strength in numbers, and have them bring this grievance as a unified group. Tactful speaking can open many doors. If this does not work, then take all of the people who have problems, go in for lunch en masse, and after each one of you causes some kind of problem for them, all of you start a food fight, and us them as your targets. Mature? No Fun? Hell yeah!!

Thank you guys for your advice. I have dealt with discrimation very often even from people of my same race but I just ignore them as much as possible. I have 3 friends who of Carribbean/West Indian decent and they tell me that it is very common for West Indian to voice their opinions about gay people in a negative way, especially in Jamaica where they literally stone you to death (not sure if it is done anymore). There are also alot of class issues in many of their countries as well as race issues like in any other country. I will say this to ya'll. I will not be nice to them because I don' feel like it. I will not suck up to them and kill them with love because I don't give love so easily, I will however get them fired if they continue to aggravate me. You don;t mess with a bitch with AIDS who is hungry more than once..

Evidently you can mess with one more than once, so why don't you just go ahead and get them fired, and confirm whatever stereotype they've got in their head about gays, and let us know when they get replaced by sweet old white women who wouldn't give up their cafeteria jobs for a million dollars.

I have 3 friends who of Carribbean/West Indian decent and they tell me that it is very common for West Indian to voice their opinions about gay people in a negative way, especially in Jamaica where they literally stone you to death (not sure if it is done anymore).

Being gay in Jamaica is about as loathesome as it gets outside of Iran:

Wait a minute! Getting them fired (if your vengeance is so vented + successful) is rather harsh over the pursuit of a tasty, delcious sandwich. I'd find some other place to eat, baby. Think about it. They have "shortcomings" however they may have children and mouths to feed. Be greater than the sum of their ignorant attitudes.

There is so much wrong in the world. This is truly little. Move on; let this pass.

Wait a minute! Getting them fired (if your vengeance is so vented + successful) is rather harsh over the pursuit of a tasty, delcious sandwich. I'd find some other place to eat, baby. Think about it. They have "shortcomings" however they may have children and mouths to feed. Be greater than the sum of their ignorant attitudes.

There is so much wrong in the world. This is truly little. Move on; let this pass.

Yea AL... Since they make you feel uncomfortable you should have to look else where for your food... They should be rewarded for their behavior and not have to deal with your presence any longer.

I agree with Mjmel....that this is not a battle you want to take on. I mean you want to change what? The Jamacian people? The immigration laws? The training they get on- the- job? I dont see a real target here except to get even with some poor immigrants. And, in my opinion, that is worse than trying to get your ex fired because he gave you the HIV virus. ( As in.... what good will that do?)

Its important to choose your battles and I would not choose this one. Wait until there is one you can really get your teeth into.

I wouldn't call this discrimination and I doubt you will get them fired. Just making a complaint doesn't mean you will get what you want. And it seems like a waste of time, (and overkill), to even try to get someone fired, because you THINK they are talking about you. I doubt all of these people would have it out for you, just because you couldn't understand this "big black carribean" guy (interesting choice of unnecessary adjectives). There's either more to the story here or you are being overly sensitive.

I would take Basquo's suggestion. I generally don't make complaints about people cooking and/or serving my food. Payback can be a bitch...

Actually, upon reviewing my earlier post, I humbly offer a change of opinion. Very politely inform them that if they wish to remain in this country, then they'd best follow it's culture and it's rules. Otherwise GET THE FUCK OUT! Go back to whatever little slum by the sea they grew up in, and rot there, because we sure as hell have our hands full with people who think like this that were actually born and raised here. We don't need to be importing any more from somewhere else. If this makes me a politically inncorrect redneck, then so be it...

Actually, upon reviewing my earlier post, I humbly offer a change of opinion. Very politely inform them that if they wish to remain in this country, then they'd best follow it's culture and it's rules. Otherwise GET THE FUCK OUT! Go back to whatever little slum by the sea they grew up in, and rot there, because we sure as hell have our hands full with people who think like this that were actually born and raised here. We don't need to be importing any more from somewhere else. If this makes me a politically inncorrect redneck, then so be it...

Hear hear!

I was thinking exactly what you said about "we have enough people like that here" and hell... even enough in New York (the only time I've ever had the epithet "faggot" thrown at me more than once in a day was at Coney Island)... but they really need to learn that "batty boy" BS ain't gonna go down all that well on the mainland.

If they don't like it, they can go back to wherever it is they came from. We've got "Bush Country" to deal with...

Humm.. All of you present some pretty interesting thoughts. I am pretty sure they have a family to support here or in their countries. That is why so far I been tolerant to them when they are rude. The place I work at has a cafeteria food catered by a fancy company where they charge $8 for a sandwich that you can get anywhere else for $5. The food taste great and I don't usually eat there but now since I been promoted in October I have too many responsibilities to let my office unattended at times and go to the nearest place to buy food. The other closest things available are Popeyes, McDondalds and pizza.. I have to walk 5 small blocks to get to a buffet place or any other food joint. Why should I spend more time trying to get a bite to eat to avoid these rude people? I don't like paying more money for food but since it is the closest thing available I sometimes don't have a choice.

I am not one to start drama, but since I been diagnosed with AIDS, I don't have the patience I once did. I certainly will not try to get them fired for something idiotic. I will first let them know how I feel if they ever do make comments about gay people or try to offend my ethinicity and if that doesn't work then I will have no problems getting them replaced.

All I hope is that they don't say things like that when I am very moody, because I will get them fired. I will give them another chance and if they continue to aggravate me then they will not only hear me but so will their managers.

How very benevolent. Sounds like your real issue is getting your mood into check.

All I hope is that they don't say things like that when I am very moody, because I will get them fired. I will give them another chance and if they continue to aggravate me then they will not only hear me but so will their managers.

I gotta say, I had a slight change of heart tonight when I went to my grocery. There was an obviously new girl behind the deli, and she was talking to the other deli workers about some situation with her family that aggravated her. She kept ON and ON, until at the point the deli guy helping me handed me my order with a look of total desperation on his face...it took all my will power not to tell him, or even her, that THERE IS NOT AN INVISIBLE WALL ON TOP OF THE DELI COUNTER! I'm pretty tolerant of most everything, but NO ONE wanted to hear her drone on and on!

Ihavehope, I'm sorry if I offended you with my PollyAnna perspective. I got pissed at the store tonight, on a matter of customer service, and it suddenly put things in a little more perspective for me.

Ok, maybe someone can clue me into what a negroe cuss is? I have never heard that term before, not trying to make it a racial issue. Just saying...Ihave, I have heard that Jamaicans have issues when it comes to being gay. And since you seem to have an issue with them and they prolly know it, I would suggest you eat somewhere else.

Queen Akasha, One of my confidants in the obscure world of Food Service is Mae. After two years of good comroderie, she invited me to her family's Juneteenth celebration. Unfortunately, I was unable to make it, but just the gesture meant so much. After 7 years, she pulls me aside in the mornings to tell me about the politics in the kithchen. A new intern "management student" came along (we are a teaching hospital) and told Mae she needed to slice the pies into 18 slices instead of 16. Mae said, "18 slices will shred that mother fuckin pie--but I don't got to sell it once I cut it up!" Mae is a PEACH, to quote Gladys, and I didn't even know she knew those words until she confided in me...and yes, she describes herself as a "country Negro."

I gotta say, I had a slight change of heart tonight when I went to my grocery. There was an obviously new girl behind the deli, and she was talking to the other deli workers about some situation with her family that aggravated her. She kept ON and ON, until at the point the deli guy helping me handed me my order with a look of total desperation on his face...it took all my will power not to tell him, or even her, that THERE IS NOT AN INVISIBLE WALL ON TOP OF THE DELI COUNTER! I'm pretty tolerant of most everything, but NO ONE wanted to hear her drone on and on!

Ihavehope, I'm sorry if I offended you with my PollyAnna perspective. I got pissed at the store tonight, on a matter of customer service, and it suddenly put things in a little more perspective for me.

8 dollars is too much to pay for that level of customer service.

Basquo! You've gone over to the Dark Side! <audible gasp> Well, .........if there's one single factor that'll do it........., it's the dreaded poor customer service

Queen Akasha, One of my confidants in the obscure world of Food Service is Mae. After two years of good comroderie, she invited me to her family's Juneteenth celebration. Unfortunately, I was unable to make it, but just the gesture meant so much. After 7 years, she pulls me aside in the mornings to tell me about the politics in the kithchen. A new intern "management student" came along (we are a teaching hospital) and told Mae she needed to slice the pies into 18 slices instead of 16. Mae said, "18 slices will shred that mother fuckin pie--but I don't got to sell it once I cut it up!" Mae is a PEACH, to quote Gladys, and I didn't even know she knew those words until she confided in me...and yes, she describes herself as a "country Negro."

Yes. That's how I always took the term (and I've heard it before). Basically if you have a laid-back (country), God fearing (Church-going) person drop the f bomb, you know the shit has hit the fan!

But I just find it funny that the management student intern goes to a hospital and decides to cut costs by cutting up the (mother fucking) pie in the cafeteria. LOL. Damn interns.

I have too many responsibilities to let my office unattended at times and go to the nearest place to buy food. The other closest things available are Popeyes, McDondalds and pizza.. I have to walk 5 small blocks to get to a buffet place or any other food joint.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Having vast experience in the biz...I suggest you never, ever, piss off anyone who might be the last person to touch your food. Believe you me, it is very difficult to distinguish a loogie in your cup of chicken noodle.

As always Master Matty-Poo is correct...imagine the satisfaction and notoriety (I smell A CSI episode) you will receive by going totally postal.

As always Master Matty-Poo is correct...imagine the satisfaction and notoriety (I smell A CSI episode) you will feel by going totally postal.

Exactly. Either you exact Second Amendment revenge and have tabloid new agencies camped around your parents' double wide or you wimp it and go back to being a whiney little bitch picking pubes and grogans out of your beef tea.

Get a great deal of saisfaction out of successful, very polite, very to the point letters to company's head offices about poor customer service. If that makes me petty and small minded, so be it but got a lot of free shopping out of it!And God forbid I ever mention disability discrimination...they fall all over themselves not to get sued!I find vicarious revenge very satisfying too..Just sitting around with the group of girlfriends my boyfriend calls 'the coven' and IMAGINING the bloodbath, gets a lot out

Logged

I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Get a great deal of saisfaction out of successful, very polite, very to the point letters to company's head offices about poor customer service. If that makes me petty and small minded, so be it but got a lot of free shopping out of it!And God forbid I ever mention disability discrimination...they fall all over themselves not to get sued!I find vicarious revenge very satisfying too..Just sitting around with the group of girlfriends my boyfriend calls 'the coven' and IMAGINING the bloodbath, gets a lot out

Get a great deal of saisfaction out of successful, very polite, very to the point letters to company's head offices about poor customer service. If that makes me petty and small minded, so be it but got a lot of free shopping out of it!And God forbid I ever mention disability discrimination...they fall all over themselves not to get sued!I find vicarious revenge very satisfying too..Just sitting around with the group of girlfriends my boyfriend calls 'the coven' and IMAGINING the bloodbath, gets a lot out

Whatever you do don't do it during American Idol...you will receive little or no press coverage. Barricades and hostages are a nice touch, and fat girls fleeing from automatic weapons firing makes great TEEVEE !

Whatever you do don't do it during American Idol...you will receive little or no press coverage. Barricades and hostages are a nice touch, and fat girls fleeing from automatic weapons firing makes great TEEVEE !

I could not agree more. Todays informed angry gunman is completely familiar with the prime time TV line up. When it comes to fat chicks wobbling on screen in pale faced terror (yes even the black ones) no-one can compete with Idol.

1. Molatov cocktails... You will start with these first. Basically how the whole engagement begins. Use this weapon on the guy working the grill first (usually behind the counter). The people behind the counter will be the pesky ones. They will use the counter like a cement barrier in the heart of Beirut. This is what I like to call the "bank shot" comes in handy. The "bank shot" is a well place fire bomb off the back wall. You have to toss it lightly. Light enough to have it bounce off the back wall and onto the floor directly behind the counter. Two will do the job adequately. You will need three total, one for the dishwasher. The dishwasher can be tricky. You have to plan your attack so that he has his back turned to you when you hit the counter. He is typically closest to the back door. This back door is probably unlocked for when he takes his every 5 minute cigarette break. You have to hit him with Peyton Manning like precision. Just practice with water balloons... water for the balloons and gas for the bottles.. got it?

2. 9 mm 915 Smith and Wesson. Nice gun!! 21 rounds and hardly what more could you ask for? This will be used on the cashiers. There should be one cashier and her helper. The helper is the one who talks a lot and usually has a rag in her hand. The helper really does nothing. She will be the first one to hit the deck. She will be the first to apologize to you when the shit hits the fan. For this she should be spared, because it will be the lone memory you have of anything helpful coming out of this mess. Hit the cashier right after you get the dishwasher. Hit her with the entire clip from the gun. As she falls she will probably cry out praises to Jah or something of the sorts.

Now from this point on the rest is entirely up to you. You are on your own.

I think you are getting the point to eat elsewhere or pack a lunch like Ann says. You'd be safer all the way around.

Thomas~~

Honey, let the Socom rest for awhile....um, could you possibly play something else a bit less violent. No zombie games, huh? Or how about a nice sports game? *backs away slowly and leaves him his fave pizza*

Trust me, I love Jamaicans, I dated 2 of them and they have been great! I've always been treated with respect and have received good customer service in other fast food places/restaurants and so forth. I never made a rude comment or intentionally wanted to make anyone feel bad, I come from a family of immigrants.

The cook FAVORS, the girls he likes.. I've seen it happen over and over and over. He flirts with them, he tells them "What you want baby" He conversates with them and then he even gives the the choice of 3 toppings on their sanwich instead of the normal 2.. There was one occasion where a chubby girl was in front of the line with me and she asked if she can get scrambled eggs with bacon. Mind you Breakfeast is served from 8:00 am to 12:00 pm in the cafeteria, it was exactly 11:45 when the cook mumbled "this better be the last breakfeast order I get" and slams the pan on the grill. The chubby girl then told him "do you have a problem with my order" He then said "yes, it's almost 12 and you want breakfast?, i just cleaned the pans and now I have to dirty them again but it's alright I will do them for you anyway" The chubby girl was sooooooo mad and told him "this isn't the first time you are rude to me, the sign says breakfast served until 12:00pm maybe you should change the sign to fit your moody schedule better" and she left. Then it was my turn and by that time he told me in a sarcastic way "You want her eggs?" . He has the nerve to make fun of her after she left to the other cook and they were laughing at her, he made a comment like " I probably did her a favor, she should thank me because I could have saved her life from eating all em' eggs". ?

This is the man I've been told I should kill with love and be friends with just because he has a rough job? No thanks.