Meat Flowers Are Here to Give You The Best Valentine's Day

Lets examine the details: the new voiceover that takes center stage in the trailer (on the audio side) is likely spoken by Lupita Nyong'o (I'm basing this off the fact that she's in the movie and it really, really sounds like her). Here's what she says, in case you missed it.

"I have lived long enough to see the same eyes in different people. I see your eyes. I know your eyes."

So, why is this a potential spoiler? Many have speculated the new, young heroes featured in the build-up to the new film have familial ties to the heroes of the original trilogy -- the "I know your eyes," comment may allude that one of the characters in the trailer may be the offspring of Luke/Leia/Han/Chewie/Lando/Yoda (but probably either Luke, Han, or Leia), thus connecting the two trilogies and awaking the Force and all that other cinematic magic stuff.

When the line is spoken, the image of Han Solo fades into the characters Poe and Finn quickly embracing -- but, a shot quickly follows of the female lead, Rey, prominently featuring her (...wait for it!) eyes. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Seeing as Rey is the first character on the IMDB billing, and that she has been the main focus of the two most recent trailers, she may be the safest bet on having some blood connection to the protagonists of the original trilogy (another Skywalker!), but obviously no one will know for sure till the film blasts into our own personal galaxies on December 18th.

My personal theory? All three new characters are the offspring of Luke Skywalker and Jabba the Hut -- who, in a major twist, turns out to be female and still alive. Whether or not this actually happens remains to be seen, but you can read more about this sordid affair in my fan fiction, which I will live tweet while watching the new film.

Wil Fulton is a Staff Writer for Thrillist. His fan fiction is tentatively titled, "Jabba the Slut." Follow him @wilfulton

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