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<<<<--Setting Boundaries-->>>>a must to survive in the ministryby Rev. Frank Schaefer

Boundaries are hard to set and maintain--especially in the
ministry. Listen to the (familiar?) words a clergy colleague had to digest after he
decided to call on his pastoral relations committee for help on setting boundaries around
his work-time schedule:

"What happened was completely unexpected -- at least by me! After I made my
presentation I paused to await the reactions of the pastoral relations committee members.
Four people spoke up right away and their comments nearly
overwhelmed me. The first person to speak was the lay leader of the congregation. She said
to me, "Well, Larry, if you can't do the job, you're still young enough to get a job
in counseling!" (She knew that I had a degree in counseling.)
Then the lay member to the annual conference spoke up and asked
me; "Well, pastor, what did you expect when you came into ministry?" Then a
third lady responded, "I know pastors who do more than that." (i.e. work more
than sixty-two hours per week)
Finally, an older man spoke up and said, "I raised cattle
for thirty years and I never had a day off." [1]

This same clergy colleague comes to the following conclusion on setting and maintaining
boundaries in the parish ministry:

The issue is boundaries and if one does not have them when first hired or
appointed as a pastor it can be very difficult to reestablish them once they've been
violated. That includes the use of our time and space and sometimes even the use of our
spouse's time. Of course, there are some of us, like me, who make it difficult to set
limits for ourselves because we are workaholics. We will find all kinds of excuses to go
to the office "for just a few minutes" even on our day(s) off. [2]

The problem is that ministers face a vast number of boundary issues--perhaps more so
than any other professionals. In most religious communities the leader takes on a
role larger than life when it comes to ethical, spiritual, and even family value
issues. In the Roman Catholic tradition, for instance, the priest is often viewed as
"being married" to the church. A priest's life is to some degree expected
to be public. Similarly, a Protestant minister is also expected to live a highly
transparent life--to set an example for others to see and follow in the local community.

It is easy to see how such expectations of a "public life" can challenge any
boundaries that a minister attempts to set or maintain. It may also explain the great
number of boundary issues clergy are faced with.

It may be helpful to identify a few boundaries ministers need to have in place:

Ethical boundaries--issues concerning morality and
values-- ministry should be done with integrity; e.g. a minister may feel pressured to
compromise on ethical convictions by tolerating poor (if not illegal) church business
practice for the "survival" of the local church,etc.)

Personal boundaries--private sphere may be violated;
personal space needs to be created by finding spaces away from the ministry; this is
especially true for clergy living in parsonages connected to the church)

Family boundaries--this is an often overlooked
personal boundary. Ministers must be very intentional to draw boundaries around
their families. Too often is the privacy of clergy families violated. In
many congregations, there are still high expectations on clergy spouses and other family
members.

Spiritual boundaries--It is absolutely essential
that leaders in ministry block time out for times of spiritual refreshment. Even Jesus got
away from his ministry for this purpose.

Economic boundaries--it's easy to get persuaded into
making economic sacrifices in the ministry. For example: many clergy are expected to
forgo in a "spirit of modesty" an adequate pension plan or other equity-building
alternatives.

Professional Boundaries--there is of
course a code of professional ethics every clergy person should be morally committed to.
These boundaries may vary from denomination to denomination, or even from local church to
local church.

Tackling
Boundaries--A Few Helpful Tips:

The Twelve "Unit" Schedule for Pastors:
Some churches are following a guideline with regard to their pastor's work week. For a
full-time pastor, the normal working week should have twelve--a unit being a
morning, an afternoon or an evening. Twelve units equal roughly 42 hours per week (if you
assume 3.5 hours per unit).

If this kind of boundary is adopted by a local congregation, it can be very beneficial
for both pastor and congregation. In his thoughts on the "unit" schedule for
pastors, Larry LaPierre adds an important aspect: "It can be especially helpful to
have a list of duties with approximate amounts of time to be devoted to each task as a
guide for both the pastor and the congregation." [3]

Setting Boundaries of a "Pastoral" Kind:

In a recent interview, Bill Easum reminds us of how important it is for ministers to
set a clear boundary on their calling. It is very easy to be bogged down with the
pressing tasks of administration, visitation, or even" janitorial" tasks in the
church ministry while loosing one's pastoral vision and direction. He says:

[Pastors] are called to preach and bring people to Christ. They are to make a
difference in the world. They arent called to be nursemaids to people who are never
going to grow up. Over a period of time, I have seen pastor after pastor lose his or her
edge and give in to peoples demands that he or she take care of them. Thats
what I mean by returning to the initial callwhere it became clear what God wanted
you to doand you went out and believed you could change the world. Thats what
weve got to return to. [4]

Concluding Remarks: Setting boundaries in the ministry should probably be
viewed as a long-term project. It is a matter of raising awareness and educating
laity over a long period of time. Eventually, however, such endeavor should produce
advocates for the minister and her/his family. The first step, of course, is that the
clergy person becomes aware of the significance of boundaries in the ministry him/herself.
The following list of questions may be helpful in this challenge:

As You think About Boundaries Consider the following Questions:
(found on The Parsonage.org)

Is there someone else who could do a better job of completing the task I am working on
right now?

Am I trying to be too many things to too many people?

Remember that there was only
one Messiah and He died and rose again 2,000 years ago. You are not Him.

When was the last time I spent quality time with my spouse and/or children?

Am I
maintaining a dating relationship with my spouse? Am I involved in my kids' lives? Am I
having fun with them? Do they enjoy the fact that I am their dad or mom?

Am I involved in an equipping ministry so that others in the church body are being given
an opportunity to exercise their gifts and talents?

Am I training and preparing others
to share the work of the Lord in this place? We realize there is no ideal situation, but
according to Ephesians 4, one of the key roles of a pastor is to equip the saints to do
the work of ministry.

How is my walk with the Lord?

Am I staying open to Him? Spending time with Him on a
regular basis? Maintaining a vibrant prayer life?

Is my life a total outflow?

We should all be immersed in ministry, but even Jesus
took regular breaks to rest and reflect.

When was the last time I took some vacation time?

A weekend off? A sabbatical?

Am I making time to have regular exercise?

Am I taking care of myself physically?
Take a walk. Play a round of golf. Make a healthy habit of doing things that help you
relax and unwind.

Am I learning how to say 'no'?

We cannot do everything asked of us. We need to stay
close to the Lord so that we can discern how He wants us to most effectively spend each of
our days.

Am I expecting to see my pastoral goals reached too soon?

God wants us to dream and
plan, but sometimes the key stress in ministry that causes boundary breakdown is being
impatient with God's timing when we are trying to change, adjust or refine a program in
the church. [5]

_____________________________________
[1] Larry LaPierre in Limits and Boundaries to Protect the Pastor
[2] ibid.
[3] ibid.[4] Bill Easum in How do I define boundaries in my ministry? How
do I define boundaries in my ministry?[4] Bill Easum in How do I define boundaries in my ministry? How
do I define boundaries in my ministry?[5] Focus on the Family in The Parsonage.org