This week's contest was suggested by Gary Patishnock of Laurel, who
wins the following anagram of his name: "Crap-stink hoagy." Gary suggests
that we try to help out old Charles Schulz, a once-brilliant, cutting-edge
cartoonist whose X-Acto knife appears to have dulled just a bit over the
years. Personally, we trace the decline of "Peanuts" to the introduction
of Woodstock, the witless bird who talks in apostrophes. Whatever happened
to Linus, the philosopher? To Pig Pen, the disagreeable little dirtball?
What's up with this dog who talks to cactuses? Why has nothing funny
happened since 1962? How can we help Charles Schulz reanimate "Peanuts"?
Your challenge is to come up with a new story line for the strip, some
plot development or new character that will put the strip back on the road
to relevance. You don't have to draw it. Just describe it. We'll handle
the art. First-prize winner gets his or her idea illustrated by Bob
Staake. We would promise you the "original" illustration, but there is no
such thing as an "original" Staake illustration. Staake faxes us his
cartoons. We have never actually met him. We are not even certain for sure
that he exists. "Bob Staake" could be a boiler room operation employing
200 illegal alien artists from Honduras and Benin, for all we know. So
what you will get is a fax of your idea illustrated by someone, or some
enterprise, doing business as Bob Staake. We will frame it. Runners-up, as
always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Honorable
mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper stickers.
Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your
entries to the Style Invitational, Week 122,
The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071,
fax them to 202-334-4312, or submit them via the Internet to this address:
losers@access.digex.net. Internet users: Please indicate the appropriate
Week Number in the "subject" field. Entries must be received on or before
Monday, July 24. Please include your address and phone number. Winners
will be announced in three weeks. Editors reserve the right to alter
entries for taste, appropriateness or humor. No purchase necessary. The
Faerie of the Fine Print "&" the Ear No One Reads thanks Russell
Beland of Springfield for today's Ear No One Reads. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible
for prizes.

Report from Week 119, in which we asked you for unfortunate Muzak tunes
to hear while on hold. Several excellent entries proved too popular for
prizes: "It's My Party (and I'll Cry if I Want To)" while on hold for the
Democratic National Committee; "I Feel the Earth Move" while on hold for
the L.A. Chamber of Commerce; and "You're Having My Baby" while on hold at
the office of Cecil Jacobson, MD.