HOW TO BE A HAPPY OLD MAN by George Evans

A Little Guide For Grumpy Old Men

Never
mind about ruling the world, although you could, no doubt, do it better
than the idiots in charge. Who cares about being youthful, athletic or
handsome when you've been there, done that and got the scars to prove
it?

Joking apart, there are plenty of ways to make your
life much happier as you get older and that's what this little book is
really all about. It's a mixture of humour and advice, written by a
very contented 83-year-old who knows what he's talking about.

After
deciding to make happiness your top priority, learn how to attain and
keep it, with brief lessons ranging from not taking yourself - or
anyone else - seriously, and the need for a HOW (happy old woman) to
neighbours - like them if it kills them - and enemies (how not to have
any). Remember that hurrying is for the young! So, sit back, relax and
enjoy life.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
George Evans
lives in the town where he was born 83 years ago and can't pretend to
be anything he's not because he'd get caught out.

He
taught for over forty years and still does occasional 'gigs' between
writing and walking in the woods and on his favourite hill.

He is a Happy Old Man and his proofreader is the finest Happy Old Woman in the world.

100 Ways For A Chicken To Train Its Human by Diane Parker (now Diane Perry)

If you think you are in charge of your chickens, prepare for a
change in the pecking order. From Fowl Play to Hen-tertainment, in this
hilarious collection by Diane Parker the chickens show us who are
really in charge, and what they’re really plotting inside their coops!

Don’t
worry about the morning after the night before. Unmade nests, broken
eggs and scattered food -your human will not even notice the difference
and they always have spare time to clean up after you.

Free
range means you have the right to roam. However you choose to do it,
escape on a regular basis and refuse to return until you are ready.

Try to tip your food hopper up so all the corn spills. That way your human will have to refill it on a more regular basis.

43 L Plates - A Collection of Short Stories(story included by Darren Bailey)

Wrekin Writer, Darren Bailey, successfully had one of his short stories selected for this intriguing anthology.

On days out to the beach, always be the first in the family to get out
of the car, onto the beach and into the sea. Always be the last in the
family to get out of the sea, onto the beach and into the car. Remember
to shake excess sea water from your fur once you are inside the car.

Humans may refrain from passing you food to test. To them, a piece of
salmon, followed by Liquorice Allsorts, a chocolate cake, and a
selection of vegetables is a foul combination. Humans believe meals
should be categorised into three sections. A starter, a main course and
a sweet. Disavow them of this. Food is food is food.

Always
make sure you have more energy at the end of a walk, than you did at
the beginning. Believe me, humans love the futility of taking you for a
walk to tire you out.

Our humans pretend to get upset when we get muddy but we know they
expect it really. At last, gems of doggy wisdom on how to wear your mud
with pride! On those wet, windy, wintry walks when you're as dirty and
as slimy as you can get, don't slip and slide frenetically as you try
to clamber over a stile. Let your human sweep you up into their arms
and gently carry you over, whilst you watch the remnants of that cow
pat transfer from your coat to theirs. Responsible humans like to know
where you are at all times. Be considerate and tell them where you've
been too, by leaving a trail of muddy footprints across all floor
surfaces. It's only since humans have domesticated dogs, that you've
had to be clean. Go ancestral. Get dirty!

From beyond Llangollen in the north to Symonds Yat near Chepstow in the
south, the Welsh/English border offers some of the quietest and most
remote walking in Southern Britain. There are plenty of reminders of
the often turbulent history of the area to beguile the walker: Offa's
Dyke, castles, abbeys, quiet villages and small towns and the relics of
industrial and military activity. This book selects 35 of the best
walks, including ascents of Wenlock Edge and the Sugar Loaf, and
suggests routes for walkers of all ages and abilities.

This book provides advice in plain language about what needs to be
considered before completing an application form for funding; where to
get support and further advice; how to calculate realistic costs and
how to collect baseline data and provide the necessary documentary
evidence to back up the statements in an application form.This book is
an invaluable guide, for all grant applicants, including local
community groups and those operating grant schemes, such as local
authority officers or public/private partnerships.

How can you tell if your puppy is happy? What games do puppies love best? How will your puppy get on with other pets?

Puppytalk is an adorable book for anyone who has ever wondered how to
make friends with their puppy. It's packed with expert advice on how to
communicate and have fun with your puppy and make sure he is contented.

The book contains 20 chapters set out as projects to help you sell your
photography. It is aimed at the enthusiastic amateur and
semi-professional who wants to sell their photos or increase their
earnings from photography. Each project is written by a photographer
experienced in the particular subject covered.

Take
a hikeMankind
has been walking since around 3 million years BC (Before Cars),
so understandably human feet are beginning to ache a bit now. However,
in today's congested world, it's often quicker to leave modern transport
methods behind and strike out on Shank's Pony.

This book was written as a response to the many people who, having
attened my talk on 'The truth about Christmas', said that I should
write a book on the subject. I have seldom had more fun in researching
a subject - trying to discover when the first Christmas actually took
place, searching for the hidden meaning behind 'The Twelve Days of
Christmas', and learning the original names of Santa's reindeer.

My Funny, Friendly Zoo by Mollie
Bolt is a beautifully illustrated, poetic tour through an
child's ideal zoo! All profits from the sale of this
publication will be shared between the Severn Hospice and
Hope House.

To see some sample pages of Mollie's Book please click on the PDF attachment at the foot of this page entitled "myfunnyfriendlyzoo.pdf"

Priced £5 (+ 50p postage & packing)
the book can be bought from:

Mrs M Bolt
29 Christine Avenue
Wellington
Telford
TF1 2DX

Please make cheques payable to M
Bolt.

Copies can also be obtained from
various venues in Wellington, Shropshire, including:

Wellington News

Miles Outfitters

Oasis Dentists

Wellington Camera Shop

The anthology was edited by Roger
Hoult, Editor of the Salopian poetry Society, of which,
Mollie Bolt, is an active member. The Salopian Poetry
Society can be contacted at
Salopeot@hotmail.com

Laodameia would rather go climbing with the boys than learn
wifely duties. Womanhood overtakes her, bringing an arranged and initially unhappy
marriage. And then the Gods smile—her husband comes to honour and respect
her as his wife, huntress and companion, whether they’re stalking wild
boar or making delicious love on a hillside under the watchful eye of the God
Zeus.
But when her man goes off to war, where will Laodemeia turn for that love?

A Rose Without Thorns by Yvonne Sarah Lewis (NOTE: THIS IS EROTIC FICTION)

http://www.whiskeycreekpress.com/torrid/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=299
Carol doesn’t think much of the short, bulky man she
meets at the physiotherapist, and humiliates him in front of her friends. But
when bodybuilder Brian effortlessly raises her above his head she has to think
again. She’s been hurt in the past, but so has he. She’s shocked,
disappointed and delighted as she tries to find happiness with this formidable
man. In the course of their affair she meets Russ and Gerry the Gay Gardeners,
and bisexual, fun-demanding Rhoda. But a perfect relationship demands sacrifice
and she comes to realise that a rose without thorns is only half a rose.

In A French Country Vineyard by Yvonne Sarah Lewis (NOTE: THIS IS EROTIC FICTION)

In a French Country Vineyard is the sequel to A Rose Without
Thorns.
On a tour of the French wine districts, Carol and husband Brian meet new friends
offering a range of romantic diversions.
The confident Englishwoman teaches young Frenchman Lucien the sweet art of love.
Her husband, though naturally a gentle man, indulges her, even when one night
of love doesn’t cool Lucien’s passion. Soon Brian is obliged to
teach them both a lesson, and Carol succumbs to sterner instruction when lured
down the path of BDSM.
Their lives tinged with fear and excitement, Carol and Brian take a roller-coaster
sexual ride—and just about everything’s flavoured with the best
of wines.

‘It was Toland’s twelfth year of life when his father hurled the wolf’s head at the mighty Eorl Uhtred, bringing his childhood to a violent end. These were dangerous times, with people driven from their settlements, tribal wars, and bands of robbers on the roads, but Toland must keep his solemn promise to save the Lindisfarne Gospels from the Vikings, protect his family, and find his father. With his faithful hound Bodo, he sets off on his quest through Anglo-Saxon Northumbria and his many adventures lead him to the mysterious hermit on Inner Farne, the mystery of the stolen jewels, a blood debt, and a terrible discovery at the White Church….. (from First Wolf by Carole Anne Carr.)

This is a brilliant book from a former Shropshire primary school teacher, traveller, poet, actor and artist. And now Carole Anne Carr from Ludlow can definitely add 'children's novelist' to her list of many talents. In her first book, aimed at 10 to 12 year olds, she uses her expertise and life experiences, woven together with a brilliant imagination to create 'First Wolf'. Youngsters will be plunged into a brilliant vibrant adventure with just enough energy and realism to keep them on the edge of their seats without being 'too heavy' or too grown-up to cope with.

Together with Carole's Anglo-Saxon hero Toland, young readers will be transported on a journey to an incredible world. And along the way, they learn about truth, honesty, and friendship, and of course, that good always triumphs over evil.