Get Out of Your Own Way: How to Overcome Any Obstacle in Your Life

You think you know what you want in life. You've tried to achieve those things. But if you still don't have them, the culprit may be closer than you think. In this perspective-altering program, the world-renowned Pitbull of Personal Development(tm), Larry Winget, exposes the things you are doing right now to unknowingly prevent your own success in the most important areas of your life.

Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In

People won't put up with being "sold" anymore. If they sense they are being pushed, their guard goes up - and even if they do comply, lingering resentment undermines the relationship...maybe forever. Yet, most books on influence still portray it as something you "do to" someone else to get your way. That out-of-date approach invites resistance or cynicism from those who recognize the techniques. Manipulative tactics might occasionally wear down a colleague's or client's resistance, but they fail to produce the mutual trust that sustains successful relationships.

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition

Perhaps once a decade, a book comes along that transforms people's lives in a very real, measurable way. This is one of them. Crucial Conversations exploded onto the scene 10 years ago and revolutionized the way people communicate when stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong. Since then, millions of people have learned how to hold effective crucial conversations and have dramatically improved their lives and careers thanks to the methods outlined in this book. Now, the authors have revised their best-selling classic to provide even more ways to help you take the lead in any tough conversation.

Influencer: The Power to Change Anything

Everyone wants to be an influencer. We all want to learn how to help ourselves and others change behavior. And yet, in spite of the fact that we routinely attempt to do everything from lose weight to improve quality at work, few of us have more than one or two ideas about how to exert influence. For the first time, Influencer brings together the breakthrough strategies of contemporary influence masters.

Money: Know More, Make More, Give More.

Money is a game you can win. First, understand the rules. True financial independence provides the opportunity to use money the way you'd like, look after your family and plan for your future. This book explains how money works, how to understand it better and how to protect it once your bank balance starts growing

The Productivity Project: Proven Ways to Become More Awesome

Nearly all of us want to be more productive, but finding the method that works for you among the hundreds and hundreds of different tips, tricks and hacks can be a daunting prospect. After graduating college Chris Bailey decided to dedicate a whole year to doing just that - experimenting with as many of the techniques as he could and finding the things that work. Among the experiments that he undertook are going several weeks on little to no sleep; cutting out caffeine and sugar; taking a daily siesta; and more.

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts - Becoming the Person You Want to Be

In business, the right behaviors matter. But getting it right is tricky. Even when we acknowledge the need to change what we do and how we do it, life has a habit of getting in the way, upsetting even the best-laid plans. And just how do we manage those situations that can provoke even the most rational among us into behaving in ways we would rather forget?

A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas

In this groundbreaking book, journalist and innovation expert Warren Berger shows that one of the most powerful forces for igniting change in business and in our daily lives is a simple, underappreciated tool - one that has been available to us since childhood. Questioning - deeply, imaginatively, "beautifully" - can help us identify and solve problems, come up with game-changing ideas, and pursue fresh opportunities. So why are we often reluctant to ask "Why?"

Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long

Meet Emily and Paul: The parents of two young children, Emily is the newly promoted VP of marketing at a large corporation while Paul works from home or from clients' offices as an independent IT consultant. Their lives, like all of ours, are filled with a bewildering blizzard of emails, phone calls, yet more emails, meetings, projects, proposals, and plans. Just staying ahead of the storm has become a seemingly insurmountable task.

Perennial Seller: The Art of Making and Marketing Work That Lasts

How can we create and market creative works that achieve longevity? Holiday explores this mystery by drawing on his extensive experience working with businesses and creators such as Google, American Apparel, and the author John Grisham as well as his interviews with the minds behind some of the greatest perennial sellers of our time.

Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Enlightenment

From one of America's greatest minds, a journey through psychology, philosophy, and lots of meditation to show how Buddhism holds the key to moral clarity and enduring happiness. In Why Buddhism Is True, Wright leads listeners on a journey through psychology, philosophy, and a great many silent retreats to show how and why meditation can serve as the foundation for a spiritual life in a secular age.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Influence, the classic book on persuasion, explains the psychology of why people say yes - and how to apply these understandings. Dr. Robert Cialdini is the seminal expert in the rapidly expanding field of influence and persuasion. His 35 years of rigorous, evidence-based research, along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior, has resulted in this highly acclaimed book. You'll learn the six universal principles, how to use them to become a skilled persuader - and how to defend yourself against them.

Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In

Negotiation is a way of life for the majority of us. Whether we're at work, at home or simply going out, we want to participate in the decisions that affect us. Nowadays, hardly anyone gets through the day without a single negotiation, yet, few of us are armed with the effective, powerful negotiating skills that prevent stubborn haggling and ensure mutual problem solving. Fisher, Ury, and Patton cut through the jargon to present a few easily remembered principles that will guide you to success, no matter what the other side does or whatever dirty tricks they resort to.

Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team

Find Your Why is the follow up to Start with Why, the global best seller and the subject of the third most watched TED Talk of all time. With Start With Why, Simon Sinek inspired a movement to build a world in which the vast majority of us can feel safe while we are at work and fulfilled when we go home at night. Now, along with two of his colleagues, Peter Docker and David Mead, Sinek has created a guide to the most important step any business can take: finding your why.

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World

Popular blogger Cal Newport reveals the new key to achieving success and true meaning in professional life: the ability to master distraction. Many modern knowledge workers now spend most of their brain power battling distraction and interruption, whether because of the incessant pinging of devices, noisy open-plan offices or the difficulty of deciding what deserves their attention the most. When Cal Newport coined the term deep work on his popular blog, Study Hacks, in 2012, he found the concept quickly hit a nerve.

Insight: The Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World

Do you understand who you really are? Or how others really see you? We all know people with a stunning lack of self-awareness - but how often do we consider whether we might have the same problem? Research shows that self-awareness is the meta-skill of the 21st century - the foundation for high performance, smart choices, and lasting relationships. Unfortunately we are remarkably poor judges of ourselves and how we come across, and it's rare to get candid, objective feedback from colleagues, employees, and even friends and family.

A. Foster says:"Great book. Lots of practical advice on how to and when not to deal with those difficult people"

Good Leaders Ask Great Questions: Your Foundation for Successful Leadership

John C. Maxwell delves into the process of becoming a successful leader by examining how questions can be used to advantage. What are the questions leaders should ask themselves? What questions should they ask members of their team? He then responds to the toughest problems leaders have presented to him. Using social media, Maxwell offered the floor to followers with unanswered questions about what it takes to achieve their professional best, and selected seventy questions on the most popular topics.

The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

In Michael Bungay Stanier's The Coaching Habit, coaching becomes a regular, informal part of your day so managers and their teams can work less hard and have more impact. Drawing on years of experience training more than 10,000 busy managers from around the globe in practical, everyday coaching skills, Bungay Stanier reveals how to unlock your peoples' potential. He unpacks seven essential coaching questions to demonstrate how - by saying less and asking more - you can develop coaching methods that produce great results.

On Nonviolent Communication, this renowned peacemaker presents his complete system for speaking our deepest truths, addressing our unrecognized needs and emotions, and honoring those same concerns in others. With this adaptation of the best-selling book of the same title, Marshall Rosenberg teaches in his own words.

Principles: Life and Work

Ray Dalio, one of the world's most successful investors and entrepreneurs, shares the unconventional principles that he's developed, refined, and used over the past 40 years to create unique results in both life and business - and which any person or organization can adopt to help achieve their goals.

Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action (Int'l Edit.)

Why are some people and organizations more innovative, more influential, and more profitable than others? Why do some command greater loyalty from customers and employees alike? Even among the successful, why are so few able to repeat their successes over and over? People like Martin Luther King, Jr.; Steve Jobs; and the Wright Brothers might have little in common, but they all started with why. Their natural ability to start with why enabled them to inspire those around them and to achieve remarkable things.

To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth about Persuading, Convincing and Influencing Others

In this new book from the best-selling author of Drive, Dan Pink explores the ways in which we can all improve our sales skills in every area of our lives and identifies the three personal qualities and four essential skills necessary to move people. Relying on science rather than platitudes and analysis instead of exhortation, Dan builds on his own sales experience and on the profiles of some of the world's best salespeople - and makes us look again at our own sales skills.

Made to Stick

Mark Twain once observed, "A lie can get halfway around the world before the truth can even get its boots on." His observation rings true: urban legends, conspiracy theories, and bogus public-health scares circulate effortlessly. Meanwhile, people with important ideas (business people, teachers, politicians, journalists, and others) struggle to make their ideas "stick". In this indispensable guide, we discover that sticky messages of all kinds draw their power from the same six traits.

Publisher's Summary

You’ve got a business colleague who’s hostile...a client who’s furious...a staffer who’s deeply cynical—how do you get people to do what you want in tough situations like these? In Just Listen, veteran psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals the secret to how to get through to anyone, even when productive communication seems impossible.“Here's the challenge,” Mark says. “People have their own needs, desires, and agendas. They have secrets they’re hiding from you. And they’re stressed, busy, and often feeling like they’re in over their heads. To cope, they throw up barricades that make it difficult to reach them even when your goals are in sync with their own.”But the good news is that there are simple strategies that can make you compelling, and break down the walls that keep you from getting through to the people you need to buy into your ideas and goals. Just Listen presents remarkably effective tools and techniques you can use whenever a job, a sale, or a relationship hangs in the balance.How effective are Mark’s techniques? One of his areas of expertise is training FBI and police hostage negotiators to handle life-or-death situations. “The same tips I teach these professionals for building empathy, de-escalating conflict, and gaining buy-in will work in any situation,” Mark says. “Whether you’re a new employee fresh out of school, a salesperson, or a CEO, once you master these skills you can take them wherever you go in your career.” And Mark has proven these strategies in his own 30-year career as a business coach at companies such as GE, IBM, Goldman Sachs, Kodak, Federal Express, Hyatt, and Disney.

With this powerful yet engaging audio book, you’ll learn how to:

Get the attention of a total stranger who you need to know—like that potential client you absolutely must land.

Talk an angry person up from an instinctual (irrational) state to receptivity, and finally to rationality—a skill that can save a job, a marriage, or even a life.

Use the “Magic Paradox”—a technique the author developed for hostage negotiators— to turn a negative person into an asset.

Master the critical art of buy-in (the foreplay of negotiation, persuasion, and selling) by moving anyone through the “Persuasion Cycle.

”Barricades between people become barriers to success, progress, and happiness; so getting through is not just a fine art, but a crucial skill. Just Listen gives you the techniques and confidence to approach the unreachable people in your life, and turn frustrating situations into productive outcomes and rewarding relationships.

What the Critics Say

“Goulston’s book delivers on his promise. Read it and you will discover the secret to getting through to absolutely anyone, and I mean anyone!” (Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul)

My job involves communication and mentoring young people through very difficult times in their lives. This book has excellent practical scripts which have enabled me to reach both adults and young people who are stuck in destructive cycles and move them to a more positive place.

I've 'read' some excellent books this year and yet this one stands out as one of the very best. Clear and helpful insights into how to deepen any relationship that will appeal and inform those who are interested as well as professionals who are looking to sharpen their practice. Warmly recommended.

This book surprised me. Not because I wasn't sure what to expect but because I actually found myself using some of his tips and recommendations within days of hearing them. Let me explain...

I could hear doors slamming and raised voices. I ran upstairs to see my 11 year-old daughter in tears and visibly shaking with anger. Her younger brother had wound her up to breaking point and she had snapped. He had jumped into the relative security of the shower by the time I arrived and so it was just me and an uncontrollable young lady.

Three days earlier, my reaction would have been to raise my voice, which can be booming I am told, at both of them, shouted until I was hoarse and sent them both to bed. I might have even smashed something to really emphasise the point. However, I found myself desperately trying to remember the advice from the 'book'.

My first task was to realise that I was not dealing with a sane human being. I had to talk her down from her primitive status to engage the correct part of the brain that I could then start to rationalise with. I did his and then began the inquest, calmly. When my son finished his shower we all discussed what had happened and it ended, well, better than my normal approach.

Some of you may think that this is just common-sense, in which case the book may not be for you.

So, why not five stars? Two reasons; firstly, the delivery of the book is not to my liking. You get used to it after a while but I enjoy listening to Stephen Fry and Bill Bryson (William Roberts). Secondly, I don't believe all the examples - some of them seem a bit far-fetched. For example, after years of seeing dozens of 'shrinks' a patient capitulates after a single sentence from the author. Whilst I understand the sentiment and can see his instruction in action, I just don't believe it.

Both of these are small points that can be overlooked, or taken with a pinch-of-salt, quite easily. I enjoyed the book very much and would recommend it.

An aptly named book ... excellently written in a way that the writer engages with the reader (or rather listener)! Very easy to understand and to apply the principles Mark Goulston suggests. This man knows his stuff and nice to have a book written by someone who practises rather than a pure theoretical academic!

I really liked this book. Especially the authors straight to the point advice for several real life situations. You can literally feel how Mark adviced his clients in his practice and now wants to share his knowledge with you. While the content at times is scientific, it never becomes complicated nor 'boring'. If anything his introduction to biology of emotions, the neurological function of social interactions (mirror neurons) and the pathology of several different types of 'difficult' people helps a lot to understand the application of his proposed steps. That said the steps are a useful guide to structure upcoming 'difficult' conversations or 'talk yourself out of stress' :)Explaining complicated scientific aspects into easy chuncks and pratical advice is always a challenge. As a university professor myself i truly admire Mark for his job in this book. Some minor points: it would be great to hear more real life examples from his clinical practice or client experience. If anything those real life cases i think are the true value a practioneer can offer. Also at times the content feels repititve. Perhaps this just is my perception as i know the field well. While I enjoyed the proposed steps, I wonder if the author can offer more context pecific steps/ tools (as he does in the final chapter) . E. G. Skills in networking, what to do in scary presentations, coaching students. Perhaps highlighting specific case studies would be great. Finally, and very minor, i would greatly appreciate some more references to other books/ resources. Especially as the entire field of communication and listening touches so many areas.

However most important though one can truly feel that the author wants to OFFER you genuine help. Not sell some fancy course, not promote his achievements or simply create a guru 'self-help book'. But provide us with a simple tool box we can use when talking to others.

I read so many books with big titles claiming to teach communication skills or emotional intelligence, this book has done far than that in a very easy straight forward way. I'd like to listen to it again and again.

We all know the phrase "two ears but one mouth" and may even be encouraged to be an "active listener" but in truth what does that really mean. What does it take to just listen? Mark Goulston has his work cut out for him to move people from transactional/turn taking conversationalists to being fully fledged skilled listeners. Having completed the book almost twice I think I've still got a couple more reads to appreciate just how much detail there is, and just how much skill is needed to be a good listener. However the rewards are huge...

Some helpful general information. I would have to say that a good deal of the information provided here was common sense. There was also quite a bit of information and tactics that were very unrealistic. The communication or engagement examples seemed exaggerated and not life-real to me, and certainly not applicable to most peoples everyday lives. The focus seemed to be on helping extroverts and type-A personalities listen to those around them better. I have the opposite personality, so I felt the author was not always talking to me. I have no doubt that Mark is an incredible counselor and hostage negotiator, but I was looking more for an everyday guide to communicating better and more efficiently with those people that I manage in my small non-CEO world.With that said, I do plan to go back over my notes and try to apply some of his strategies in "better listening" with my work & family life. Maybe I should listen to the book again, and be a better listener. Not a terrible listen, just not my favorite.

104 of 108 people found this review helpful

Amy

Tallmadge, OH, United States

11/01/12

Overall

Performance

Story

"Great information and interesting"

What did you love best about Just Listen?

Just Listen held my interest--it combines physiologic reasons for why we behave and react the way we do, and then it offers a lot of examples and illustrations. The practical advice and techniques are usable and helpful. I immediately put some of the techniques to work!

What was one of the most memorable moments of Just Listen?

I enjoyed many of the stories--from the hostage situation to the executive preoccupied with his wife's biopsy. The narrator is compelling, using good voice inflection and emotion.

Have you listened to any of Walter Dixon’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

I have not. Mr. Dixon's narration was as good as any I have heard.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

There are many ideas that I will use. I have already used the one about telling an employee that I should improve his environment to incentivize him to work harder. I would also like to start using the

Any additional comments?

It was interesting that many of the techniques are similar to those in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People!

28 of 29 people found this review helpful

steve

LAS VEGAS, NV, United States

31/12/11

Overall

Performance

Story

"Better Than Expected"

About 1/3 of the way through this book I was still doubting it's depth. It promises to give some pretty powerful insights at the beginning, and I was not initially getting that. But eventually the book does deliver on it's promise. His stories of real-life interventions paint a clear picture of the source of many of our day-to-day problems. Since we are so busy, we develop fast ways of interacting with our world in a kind of one-dimensional way. We tend to see things from one simple perspective: our own.

I'm in sales, and often find myself sitting across from someone who is closed off and not letting me in. After all, I am trying to sell them something. But after listening to this book, I have a way to go beyond the transaction and connect with the person. What are they feeling? Is it fear, anger, insecurity? How can I make them "feel felt"? If I slow down and recognize that their needs are real and not just distractions to be talked over, we can communicate. That can result in a sale which I might not otherwise have gotten, which is good. But it nearly always results in better communication, which plays a very important part in all the other things I would like to accomplish in life. Thank you, Mark. Well Done.

74 of 79 people found this review helpful

Glenn

Richmond Hill, ON, Canada

22/05/11

Overall

"Great audio that adds new ideas on listening"

Excellent book that goes into listening as well as questioning and leading conversations. He goes beyond the standard mirroring and focusing on others that most books on listening suggest. It also included some powerful suggestions on sales lines. On the downside there were parts I would skip for they were a little presumptuous and other parts that I do not agree with. However, there were enough great parts to recommend this book.

18 of 19 people found this review helpful

Tyler

Columbus, OH, United States

13/01/12

Overall

Performance

Story

"Insightful information!"

Any additional comments?

This book walks through the details of how to actually listen to anyone, and how to get through to those who may be difficult to deal with. This book has changed my interactions at work and enabled me to be a more effective communicator and leader. Would recommend to anyone who is interested in self-improvement, especially in the areas of communication.

The reader was easy on the ears (I wish he read every book I wanted to listen to!)

17 of 18 people found this review helpful

Jonathan

Richmond, VA, United States

23/01/12

Overall

Performance

Story

"Author's epiphany may be common sense to most."

The tone of the book is like that of a car salesman--not the smooth, unctuous persuasive sort, but the loud obnoxious kind for whom the most basic social queues are entirely enigmatic. The kind that accidentally chases people away and can't figure why. I expect the author started in sales and took psychology to understand why he couldn't manipulate people the way he wanted. Still ... points to him, i bought his book.

His tactics include mirroring to invite dialogue (which is fine but old advice, and entirely basic) and breathing through ones nose to calm down out of "animal mode" (who hasn't seen this on TV?). This book might have been the product of an epiphany (or several) for the author, but I can't imagine it would benefit anyone with an average emotional IQ.

I became embarrassed for listening to it, and became frustrated because he seemed to want to teach listening as a tactic rather than a practice; as a "means" rather than an "end." As though listening were a necessary evil for gathering attention, influence, or affection and not valuable in itself. (Why not simply listen because people need to be listened to?) I bought this wanting to improve my listening ability, not to trick people into talking to me, not to "appear interested", and not to get people to like me. The author is too often trying to teach how to appear interested and sincere as though sincerity were not natural and people were not already interesting. Also the author is so frequently the hero of his stories and so often beings them with I, I, I, me, me, me that it counts against his claims of being an extraordinary listener. No one likes to spend time with someone as enamored with himself as the author seems to be. The title though "just listen" is sound advice.

142 of 160 people found this review helpful

Dica

Constanta, Romania

03/10/11

Overall

Performance

Story

"Real situations, real answers, really practical!"

An audio book full of real life examples, very practical answers, good intonation, applicable in business and family life! An excellent book for me, hope that many people could listen/read it!

13 of 14 people found this review helpful

Cynthia

Monrovia, California, United States

24/09/13

Overall

Performance

Story

""You're listening to this book because . . .?""

Me: "Well, Dr. Goulston, I'm a lawyer. I end up in some pretty nasty fights on a fairly regular basis. I wanted to find out if there was anything I could do to defuse the argument without running to a judge for a court order."

Dr. Goulston: "And the book helped you how?"

Me: "I found out that people who are really angry may not be thinking at all. It's called 'amygdala hijack,' primitive brain has taken over, and the person is in "fight or flight" mode. I also found out when someone is attacking and reacting, turning beet red and blustery, they are thinking with a higher emotional brain. And I learned that to get someone to look logically at a situation, you need to have them thinking with their highest, rational brain."

I listened to "Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone" (2009) by Mark Goulston, MD, twice - because I wanted to know how to calm a fight over legal and evidentiary issues, and help my teenagers work to 'fix the problem, not the blame.' Long ago, I discovered saying, "Just calm down" in either situation had about the same effect as telling someone to 'f*** off'. I didn't know why, but I do now and I know what to say - and do - next time. I won't yell back. I won't point fingers. I will use the techniques Goulston recommends to decelerate the ire. That includes asking 'fill in the blank' questions - like the title to this review.

I have some valuable techniques that I've started using - although I'm not the target reader/listener. "Just Listen" is directed towards supervisors, managers and execs; and salespeople. A good third of the book discussed handling situations I don't find myself in. I expect someone in those jobs will find this book even more helpful than I did.

[If this review helped, please press YES.]

95 of 108 people found this review helpful

A. Yoshida

Pasadena, CA USA

15/09/13

Overall

Performance

Story

"Realistic scenarios to improve your listening"

This book gives plenty of realistic scenarios: my teenager son hardly tells me anything, I have to work with a co-worker who's constantly angry, my boss doesn't get what I'm saying, and my spouse and I are always fighting. As you're listening to these scenarios (complete with realistic dialogues), you think "Yes, I've been there. What do I need to do to fix it?" The author then gives solutions that move people from arguing to empathizing to listening. The solutions aren't earth shattering. The secret is knowing the right things to say. Just as the solution to being healthy is exercising and eating well. The secret is finding a routine that works for you. I'm sure I'll be referring back to this book. After I absorb the ideas, I would have to go back and find the methods and dialogues that would fit me.

14 of 16 people found this review helpful

Dean

Valparaiso, IN, United States

03/01/12

Overall

Performance

Story

"One of the best Self help books ever"

What made the experience of listening to Just Listen the most enjoyable?

Very vibrant and exciting information eye opening and very honest outlook

What was one of the most memorable moments of Just Listen?

It does not place blame in any one person but on all for true problem solving

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I was very moved when I found out all the things I was doing wrong and how I could be the problem as well as others perception to me

Any additional comments?

I listened to this book 3 times and learned a lot each time I did take your time and make the best of it that you can

18 of 21 people found this review helpful

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