Prologue: The Madness Begins…

Happousai peered into the Nanban mirror,
his decrepit features threatening to crack the mended mirror once more. "Now,
what to wish for…?" the old pervert pondered, scratching at his bald
head in thought, withered upper lip crinkling in thought.

It was a truly horrible sight, so
horrible that it actually did manage to create a tiny fissure in the reflective
surface of the magical artifact. This small detail went largely unnoticed by
the grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, however; his attention
was still diverted by thoughts of how to use the mirror.

A red bob of hair peeked out from
below the alleyway wall, soon followed by a pair of expressive blue eyes. Those
said eyes widened considerably when they caught sight of the lech and the mirror,
and with a grace that only came with years of training, Ranma-chan leapt over
the brick barrier. "The old fart's got it!" She landed at
a dead run, and, with a grim look of determination, launched herself at Happousai,
arms extended. "Gotcha!"

Casually redirecting the buxom redhead
with a slight tap of his pipe, Happousai slowly ambled out of the secluded alleyway,
allowing a small grin to form on his wrinkly face as he heard his pupil cry
aloud and slam into a cluster of garbage cans and other trash. "Ranma,
m'boy, when will you ev—"

Panda-Genma hefted another sign, the
word "WHAM!" scrawled on the wooden panel, and brought it down upon
his master's head, driving the small pervert into the cement like a nail
with every pound. "Growf, growf!" Not wishing to leave anything
to chance, the pseudo-panda continued to hammer Happousai into the pavement
with his multitude of signs, seemingly pulling them out of thin air in continuous
succession.

A rather disheveled looking redhead
stumbled out of the nearby alley, and walked over towards her furry father,
nodding in approval at his handiwork. "Good job, pops," she grudgingly
complimented under her breath, flicking off a stray banana peel from off her
shoulder. "You get the mirror ye—"

Ranma-chan abruptly ended her question,
gaze snapping back down at the pile of wooden boards in the middle of the sidewalk
as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up on end in alarm. "WATCH
IT!"

The pile of signs suddenly exploded
outwards, sending wooden planks flying out at dangerous speeds towards the pair
and various other innocent bystanders.

The smoke began to clear after a slight
pause, and a sooty but otherwise fine Happousai peered out from his makeshift
foxhole at the scene that greeted him. Bodies laid strewn about the street,
dazed or knocked unconscious from the blast. His two ungrateful pupils were
fastened securely to the opposite walls by a handful of signs, both apparently
unconscious as well. Happousai's grin returned with a vengeance as he
noticed the state of Ranma-chan's shirt, and with a bound in his skip,
he hopped over and got in a quick grope. Unfortunately, the old pervert didn't
notice her eyes snap wide open as he made contact with the twin objects of his
desire, until it was too late…

Genma-panda peered up at the airborne
figure of his master, watching as it slowly disappeared over the horizon. "Growf-growf."
He paused, and, after a bit of rummaging, pulled out a marker and another spare
sign. **Nice punt.** He reversed the board, and scrawled something on the back.
**Did you get the mirror?**

Struggling to cover her exposed chest,
Ranma-chan spotted the sign from out of the corner of her eyes, and snapped
her fingers in remembrance. "Ah, dammit…"

"Ungrateful students,"
Happousai grumbled to himself, as he made a show of dusting off his tiny gi
and pants. Giving the mirror a quick once-over, he nodded to himself, and peered
intently into the magic mirror. "I know what I want," he thought
aloud, snarling ever so slightly as thoughts of his students' treachery
filled his mind. "More than all the panties or boobies in the world."
He hesitated after that statement, but quickly shook his head and firmed his
lips, resolute in his decision. He tightened his grip on the mirror's
handle, and took the final plunge. "Give me the perfect disciple."
He paused for a moment, waiting for his wish to be granted.

He stood there for a good minute or
so, before his memory kicked in. "Oh yeah…" Rummaging about through
his pockets, Happousai pulled out a small onion bulb. "Almost there,"
he cackled softly to himself, as he crushed the bulb in his other hand; carefully,
he brought the remnants up to his face, and stood there for a few more seconds.
His eyes began to water from the vapors, and, with a small cry of joy, he lifted
the mirror up to his cheek, watching in anticipation as a sole tear rolled down
his face and onto the reflective surface. "Perfect disciple…"

…Shinta sneezed softly, and rubbed at his nose with the back of his sleeve,
as the slave caravan slowly made its way along the country road…

End of Prologue

Author's notes: Taking a break from Darkening Horizons
and Waters of Change, the idea suddenly came to me while reading
the latest chapter of Broken Pieces. I dunno why, I guess because
talk about Hiko and Kenshin's relationship came up… *Shrugs* Well, the
idea came to me, and, after much debate, I decided to run with it. PLEASE DON'T
KILL ME! Well, at least wait until chapter 2. ^_^;;

Total departure from seriousness ahead.
Approach with extreme caution.