Frame Napkin Turn Messes Into Masterpieces

The Frame Napkin is a $40 fabric napkin with a frame silk-screened on it. That way, after you're finished stuffing your face like a glutton, you've created a work of art with the smattering of food that didn't make it to your pie-hole (or did but wouldn't stay down). Mmmm, vomit. Per the product site:

Did you read that? I think it said art is dead. That or they were dry-cleaning instructions. Whatever the case, you know those mattress tags that are illegal to remove until you buy the thing? I've stolen hundreds of them from furniture stores. Girls ARE into bad boys, right? Awesome. What about a bad boy who still shits his pants sometimes?