Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

The first good enough lunch

Oh dear--I did indeed plot out a good enough homemade roll lunch. All I can say is that it works out to be a WHOLE lot less than I ate yesterday. Sigh. I wish I didn't want so much. Unless I'm recovering from the flu, I just plain want too much. Oh well---carry on, carry on, carry on and try not to mind too much that none of my clothes fit? Breakfast today was fine, I wasn't hungry so I only had a banana and a little oJ and a string cheese. Had a good workout in kettlebells. Lunch?

It was an appreciation buffet. Salad, pasta, bread stick, and really good chocolate cake. Control? Are you kidding? The only control was peer pressure and it didn't exert much influence. I wonder if left to myself I would have chosen differently? It would have been at least equally bad---two breadsticks for a starter, but I might have had smaller portions and 2 pieces of cake. Or maybe the same portions and two pieces of cake? Maybe it's good my co-workers were there. We'll see what happens for dinner. Dave is out of town so I don't even have to pretend to have good sense.

Since Pizza is an obvious Friday night regular meal, I will sit down and work out a "Good Enough" version of this. "Good Enough" here is going to be 800 cal.

1. That Dave is in San Antonio safely
2. The enrollment services appreciation lunch--nice surprise--nice cake
3. Craft stores
4. Internet White pages
5. That I don't seem to have downloaded a virus
6. hershey's kisses
7. Calorie guides
8. thin lenses for glasses
9. That I know right from wrong (generally at least!)
10. ear muffs
11. I'm hugely humbled when I go to Make-A-Wish and see the kids' wishes and realize that I have done almost all of them. My life is rich
12. That I've gotten to sing with the Tabernacle choir
13. That I made chorale in high school--it meant a lot to me.
14. That corsets are no more
15. For inspiring students
16. That I didn't have to be a first gen college student--hard road!
17. At the moment, that I don't live in Buffalo
18. warm blankets
19. That i haven't been too sleepy today despite weird sleep last night
20. The live turkeys while I worked at ACT