Thoughts and observations through the journey of life.

July 30, 2011

Have you ever wanted something so bad, prayed so hard, believed, and when it seemed all was going well, it was so good you were stunned with momentary fear and doubt? I have experienced that.

Cheryl finished her chemo and had an MRI to compare with the MRI prior to beginning treatment. The news was exceptional! The tumor has decreased by approximately 80%. The Oncologist cannot feel the tumor and this has been true for several visits. Her words were "You should have a real big smile on your face. This is excellent!" By every measurement, Cheryl has responded to treatment beyond medical expectation.

Our next appointment was a week later with Cheryl's surgeon. We had not seen him since the beginning of the journey. He came in, did a physical exam, and could not find the tumor! He had reviewed all the results of the previous tests and treatment.

We were fully expecting a mastectomy with reconstructive follow-up surgery. He looked at Cheryl, smiled and said, "Why don't we go in there as soon as we can, do a lumpectomy, radiate, and you'll be finished by Halloween." Say what??? What about the mastectomy, reconstruction, etc.? Oh yeah - answered prayer!

Both doctors have consulted together and are on the same page. They believe for several positive reasons this is the best path of treatment and nothing is compromised by this path. One said what is left showing on the MRI may be scar tissue. So, August 11, Cheryl will have a lumpectomy removing enough tissue to leave a safe margin and be followed by radiation and medication.

We were encouraged at our church last Wednesday. One of our very good friends had similar treatment 10 years ago and she is cancer free.

We were surprised and thrilled. But is it real? We have prayed for this. You have prayed for this. Is it happening? Is that doubt? If we doubt, will it compromise faith and her healing?

All of us in our family are trusting God and very grateful for all He is doing and for your prayers. Here is my own journey.

I had initial doubts. It can't be this smooth, can it? Then a bit of anger. Anger at my own doubt and even wondering if any questions were doubt. Of course that is ridiculous. I believe God expects us to be prudent and any work He does will not be hindered by our being wise and prudent. Honestly, I look back and think I was afraid one of us would do something to tick God off and Cheryl wouldn't be healed.

THANK GOD FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT AND THE PROMISE OF JESUS in John 16:13, "He will guide you into all truth." One aspect of that truth is the true character of God. His ways are not childish.

I reflected on that first Midnight hour when the Spirit woke me, and over and over I was hearing in my spirit, 'if you ask for a fish, will he give you a serpent?'. That is when we first began to call this cancer "the snake", and said we were on a snake-killing path.

The answer to most prayer, or at least the foundation on which to stand, is in the Scriptures. I am amazed at the bizarre logic of moderates and liberals who say the doctrine of the Inerrancy of Scripture is not a major doctrine. How would one ever know any truth without the authority of God's written Word?

As I worked through my own feeling, I believe the Holy Spirit brought to mind several Scriptures that helped and again assured me of the love and faithfulness of God and that indeed, this is a snake and God is going to kill it.

Jesus looked at Simon Peter and said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed Satan has asked ('demanded', ESV) for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail:..." (Luke 22:31,32 NKJV).

Isn't that great? At the very moment Simon was going to go through his greatest test, and fail, Jesus was praying for him. At the moment Simon's faith would be at it's weakest, the intercession of the Great Intercessor would be at it's strongest on Simon's behalf. And so it was with me. The value of the promise of God given early in the journey would not be negated by a momentary lapse on my part.

Then I thought of Rhoda. In Acts 12 Peter was in jail. The church was in prayer for his release. He was released and went to the house where the church was praying. Rhoda, a servant girl, answered the door, recognized his voice, and was so excited she forgot to open the door! She ran back inside and told the praying church that Peter was at the door. What did this faith community say? "It is his angel."

They were praying and when the answer came, were so astonished they thought it could not be true! So God got really angry and put Peter back in prison. Not true. The church grew and the persecutors were confused.

I remembered a text of a sermon by one of my father's old friends. "He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God." (Romans 4:20, NKJV)

I and we are praising God for these excellent reports and for his strengthening in a momentary question, "Is this really happening"?

It has been so long and we are very tired. Very. Cheryl is beginning to regain strength from the devastation of chemo. I'm sort of numb. We are at half-time and we are leading. But there is a lot of game to play. We are very grateful for your continued prayers. I am confidently praying the lab results from the surgery will reveal the snake is dead!

My next blog post in a few days will begin to focus on areas of ministry. Thank you for your love and prayers.

April 08, 2010

A few years ago I thought I was going to a certain church to be their interim. I had met with the committee and all seemed well. Until. They got an email from someone who really ripped me. Bad. Someone on the committee let me read it. It hurt deep. My life and ministry had been summarized as the failure of a dabbler and wanderer who could never find oneself. Did I say it hurt? Oh yeah. I said that. And since this email had been sent to one on the committee, they "moved on".

I shared that experience with a friend of mine. He told me of a t-shirt his wife had given him. When Cheryl and I were on vacation last year, we spent a couple days on Hilton Head. In one of the shops was a stack of the t-shirts with a sketch of a pair of sandals and the caption "Not all who wander are lost". Loved it. Bought it.

Watching the bios of Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash reminded me of that. The recent passing of blogger Michael Spencer reminded me of that. He blogged under the title Internet Monk. He was a wanderer who challenged the lifeless dribble of much of the current N. American religious world.

It is said by some of Music City that is the kind of place that if it cannot own you, it will destroy you. I have seen churches and denominations that fit that same description.

I was asked today by a seminary professor, "What percent of congregations do believe are having problems?" I ventured an 80%. That may be low. But my experience as an evangelist was that roughly one of five congregations in which I spoke seemed to have spiritual vitality.

Is there a place in today's religious world for the wanderer? Is there a place for the person who will not be controlled? I submit there had better be.

Wanderers are pilgrims. We have no permanent zip code here. Our citizenship is heaven. We are utilitarian for some - once used for their purposes, then there is no further use for us. However, "Jesus Is Lord" should not only be the testimony of our lips but also the experience of our lives. He warned what would happen to those who followed him in truth: they, too, would be persecuted, misunderstood, discredited and dismissed.

This is the time for aggressiveness in proclaiming the truth of God's Word. Much is at stake. Program driven entities will not be life-giving; they will be life-draining.

Many of us wonder as we wander. And yet, we are not lost. Caleb and Joshua wandered with the children of Israel in the Wilderness. But they were not lost. They heard God; they believed God; and they brought back a report of faith. They knew their God and they knew that through Him they could and would do mighty things. They were not in a hurry. They submitted to God in all areas of life. And they both entered the promised land and the promised rest while most of their peers died in the wilderness.

Do not allow yourself to morph into a "settler" mentality in your church. Never lose the pilgrim motif. Not all who wander are lost.

January 11, 2010

I sat in a staff meeting today with some fine colleagues discussing how our organization could show its value to others and what we would need to do to really have a compelling place in our world. Of course technology is part of that. One of the older guys, commenting on those who tweet too much, said, "I really don't think the world wants to know what I had for breakfast.

Tonight my wife and I were watching a television program (Touched By An Angel - incomplete theology at best couched in great stories) and I picked up a tweet by another in that same meeting give a sentence about what he was doing. So I immediately hit reply and asked, "What I want to know is what you had for breakfast?"

I forgot that tweet also goes to my Facebook as an update. Thus, for the FB people, there was absolutely no context.

However, in two hours time there have been 15 comments and the discussion has been fun. One friend commented that it is surprising what people are interested in - the everyday things of life. Indeed.

In a more spiritual moment I would likely ask, "So how does this apply to context in biblical interpretation?"

But I am not feeling too spiritual tonight. In fact, I am feeling pretty well ragged out, out of gas, and dealing with what appears to be disappointment - again.

But wait! Remember that phrase from all the TV infomercials? Yes, wait - here's a two-fer.

In this non-spiritual moment, I am experiencing both disappointment and joy. And, my daily Bible reading plan has me in Job. So I could be a really pitiful sad sack, if you know what I mean. But joy and disappointment? How?

I won't go into the disappointment. You don't need that. But the joy?

Well, I got on another blog and saw a picture of my grandchild. I held that little fellow just a few days ago. I have beside me the pictures of two more of my grandchildren and a fourth sent me an instant message tonight on FB. The fifth? Well, can't leave him out so I have been thinking of him as well. The joy these little ones have brought to my life is beyond description.

You see, there was a time I realized I was not going to succeed Billy Graham. It was a sobering moment. So in that spurt of growth I asked God: "Lord, I can't do much and I'm not going to have a big following. I will serve you and I ask one thing. Please let me be a successful husband and father." I never thought of grandchildren in those days or I would added that.

So in a world that discards as irrelevant and useless those 60 and over (actually 50 and over in some places), I'm not too worried about it. John Piper is right - retirement is not in the Bible. So I will work my part time gigs and do what I can for the Kingdom of God.

But make no mistake about it. I know who will cry at my funeral. They are the ones who matter, and each of them bring intense joy to me. Thanks, family, for giving me an evening of delight because of a question that wasn't supposed to make it's way to Facebook!

July 26, 2009

I read and re-read Job. It is Old Testament poetry at its finest and as such finds its conclusion not in the story itself, but in the new covenant in the New Testament.

When one looks at the speeches of the friends, one can easily parallel them with some from our time. One can see a paradigm of existentialism, legalism, and spiritualism in them. I haven't really got Bildad nailed down yet, but the others do fit the three categories listed.

So what of Job? What of us? Into our lives often come people with existential, legalistic, and hyper-spiritual responses. Let's say something bad happens to you through no fault of your own.

Here comes the legalist (no, these are not in order of the characters - hey, you've got to be willing to do some digging on your own) who just knows you sinned. After all, nothing bad happens to people unless they have sinned. God would not do that or allow that to a "righteous" person.

Then there is the existentialist - always sharing from the base of his/her experience. I hear it in one who referenced a past position to almost every conversation. In fact, some of us used to put down minutes as to how far the conversation would proceed before we heard, "now when I was at....". Your current situation is always laid beside their experience. They live backward.

Last is the "Spiritualist" - "Brother, you just need to get right with God." No know-it-all like a spiritual one, is there?

Job is called upon by God to pray for these people. They were not really speaking for God. They were speaking for themselves and the worst deception of all had occurred: they thought they were speaking for God.

Human nature does not change. But at this point in the history of salvation, Christ and the New Covenant were yet to come. We live of the "after" side of the coming of Christ and the New Covenant.

So we learn in the NT that some do indeed suffer unjustly. Some suffer for Christ. Others "fill up what remains" in the suffering of Christ for the sake of the church. The references are many but the blog post is not a concordance. What shall we say?

Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 2 Cor. 1:3-11 and the following few chapters words of wisdom regarding suffering and reconciliation. These are for our instruction. The inspired writings of Job are an example to us (1 Cor. 10). But here (2 Cor. 1-5) is how we are to "do life".

God comforts us in our affliction. One of the reasons is that we may offer comfort to others who are afflicted. Encouragement is a huge ministry to the hurting, regardless of the reason for the hurt.

We are cautioned in 1 Cor. 4:5 to not judge anything prematurely. Leave it in the hands of God.

Although human nature has not changed, ours has. For each of us who have embraced Jesus and believe in sufficiency of Scripture, there is purpose in any suffering. The level of the injury may indeed determine the length of the trial, etc., but by the grace of God we are comforted, and in our comfort, may indeed comfort others.

An immediate application is ministers who have experienced forced termination. Are you "beyond it"? There is help. And when you heal, and your family heals (and you will if you so choose), then God will use you to mentor and minister to others. Some you will never know. Your mentoring may be preventative. Others you will walk through the same valley again, only this time you will be the human comforter.

Job's friends are still with us. But thank God we live on this side of the Cross!!

June 24, 2009

I like to read Scripture in context, which means reading books of the Bible as quickly as possible. Recently I read through the book of Job. Then I read through Job again. A number of years ago I was doing research for my pastor and outlined the book of Job for him. As George Strait sings about an old girlfriend, "I wish I had that one back."

At that time, I viewed the book of Job as a book of on the problem of the suffering of the innocent. And, in some ways, it is. But I think it more a volume on the character and wisdom of God rather than solely on the suffering of the innocent.

Job 42:7-8 "After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, He said to Eliphaz the Temanite: "I am angry with you and your two friends, for you have not spoken the truth about Me, as My servant Job has. Now take seven bulls and seven rams, go to My servant Job, and offer a burnt offering for yourselves. Then My servant Job will pray for you. I will surely accept his [prayer] and not deal with you as your folly deserves. For you have not spoken the truth about Me, as My servant Job has." (HCSB)

WHAT IS THAT??? Chapters 39-41 are what we would call an "interrogation" the likes of which are unparalleled in Scripture. God may be giving us a preview of the Judgment in his questioning of Job - and questions for which there are no answers. Job's reply and repentance in 42:1-6 are evidence that Job really had no clue as to the depth of the majesty of God.

I am intrigued that twice God tells these "friends" (we all have some of these) they had not spoken truth about Himself. He calls their diatribes 'folly' and calls them to repentance with an intercessor (Job). It is interesting that several times in the book Job laments there is no intercessor for him.

Let's see if I have that right. Job was indeed guilty, but not of sin nor bad theology. His was a faith issue. He questioned the wisdom of God. Have you been there? I have. I wish I could honestly tell you I haven't, but I have.

But Job's friends, who said his suffering was due to his unrepentant sin, had bad theology, and God nailed them for it calling it a lie!

No doubt we need good relationships and love is very important. But these relational friends were accused by God Himself of lying about Him. God's character is important and what you and I believe about God's character is crucial, even to our witness.

Faith is a personal struggle. God help us to come to the place where we can trust the wisdom of God in all of life's reverses. They do come, and that on a fairly regular basis.

Those had spoken ill of Job and had lied about God's character were required to come to the altar and offer a burnt offering. There Job would pray for them. In the New Testament, Jesus tells us to bless those who despitefully use us and to pray for our enemies. We are to pray blessing, not imprecatory prayers.

Job's restoration was accomplished after he prayed for his friends (42:10). So again, do you have a Job 42 prayer list? I do. Some who read this may be on it. If so, from the depths of my heart, God bless you!

March 11, 2009

The rain is cold and very wet. It is also much needed. And, perhaps the cold and wet day has also dampened other things.

Hopefully I can be vague enough to not reveal identities and yet specific enough to speak to the issue. God himself knows that there are certainly enough examples, so protecting identities may not be all that difficult. But I heard it again today.

"It is probably best he leave the church." That statement has been uttered about men and women who (1) have failed; (2) who have alienated someone; (3) who have disagreed with leadership or someone who thinks they are a leader; (4) who are different; (5) who are hurting and having difficulty working through the hurt, the loss, and the faith questions raised; (6) etc., etc.

I intentionally ended on 6 because that is the number of man, and 666 is the number of the anti-Christ. I did that because I believe none of the above to be the biblical response.

I last heard the statement uttered about a pastor having some difficulty. I am aware that there are certain situations, especially in willful and unrepentant sin, where the church must discipline. That is indeed biblical. And, there are situations where a leader (whether staff or otherwise) may need to step aside for a period of time or even find other employment in order to refresh, heal, deal with issues, etc.

But "it is probably best he leave the church"??? For Christ's sake, what is the church for? No, not at all taking the name of the Lord in vain. Seriously...For Christ's sake! What is the church here for?

Again, I am not talking of one living in willful and unrepentant sin. I am speaking of those who find themselves in situations not of their choosing and having difficulty working through it. I am speaking of those who just don't fit. They may not be "cool, man!" Or maybe they don't answer to "Hey dude!" They may have different tastes in music, they may or may not reflect your favorite worship pose, raise hands, close eyes, or shake their heads. And if a woman, she just may not be able to wiggle her backside in beat with the latest 4/4 hot worship song.

Now for those of you just offended, unscrew your halo a notch and think. By the way, each of those are real examples encountered more than once.

One elderly friend of mine whom I regard as a true hero said to me a few years ago, "we are worse than I have ever seen us." He is right. It is very popular in some places for new member classes to require the signing of a document that you will (1) tithe (2) attend, and (3)not cause trouble. I've not seen an example of one that asks people to sign that they will be great parents, share the gospel on a regular basis, pray, etc. But we sure do want them to sit up, shut up, and ante up.

Just when someone needs the people of God most, it is best they leave! And we seriously are having conferences on why church attendance is declining in America? You've got to be kidding me!

This thing we call "church" is messy. It is dirty. The church is a light and all lights attract bugs. And some days, we are all a bug.

Galatians 6:1 says "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you are are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

At what point will the church wake up and although it may have to make difficult leadership decisions or it may have to discipline members, it will not push people out but will say to them, "we love you enough to walk with you through this situation to the glory of God." When? Who?

I was reading in 1 Peter this morning. I highly recommend 1 Peter 3:8-4:11 in the NIV. I was reminded that my prayer life is connected to my attitude and behavior. A few years ago when our world had cratered we reached out to a couple. Instead of love, we got firehosed in a lecture that basically said, "Get over it!" I listened, then asked, "can you tell me how?" The answer? "I have no idea." The antithesis of Gal. 6:1. Well, we did get over it and we learned valuable lessons and the most important is that God is very, very faithful and our validation is from him, not people.

My pastor friend, I love you. This post has largely been related to how people in ministry are treated by others when they themselves have issues. But it was broadened to apply to other situations.

I quote an old E. Tennessee mountain preacher who said, "The reason most of these churches are so cold is because they have a polar bear in the pulpit." He was right. Let's us look in the mirror. Are we simply seeking to have trouble free congregations or are we about the ministry of Jesus? You ain't leadin' where you ain't been, dude! (See, I do know a few hip words).

I recommend something. Find a place of privacy, get on your knees, open your Bible to Psalm 51 and pray through it verse by verse. We often speak of preaching verse by verse. I also recommend praying verse by verse. Let God speak to you. Then go do what He speaks.

December 17, 2008

History is an important lens through which to view the future. An uncertain economy could lead to total despair if we did not have the lens of the economic recovery from the 1929 crash. Although situations differ, one can take hope in that if one generation can recover, so can another. Thus, it is not hopeless. But it is temporary.

The shifting sands of change should teach us to be somewhat skeptical of the solutions of men. This is certainly exacerbated when revelations of corruption, failure, and loss seem to come on a daily basis.

What is true politically and economically is often true in the "Christian" world. We sigh and blog, but the reality is that sinful human nature is just as corrupt clothed in religious garb as it is clothed in Wall Street or Washington business suits.

And yet, not every person in any of these venues is corrupt. Most of us are simple people seeking to do the best we can in a very complex situation. I often wonder if perhaps many of us (yes, I will include myself) have an exalted opinion of ourselves or our contributions? I see this most often in self-appointed saviors and defenders and think "How odd for one to assume such a role and wrap their own agenda with an advocacy of assumptions." Will this heal a broken world? Hardly.

But this is a very good time for followers of Jesus to reflect Him. Obviously the Christmas season is helpful. But even more helpful is our response to global crisis.

The Psalmist once found himself in a lean time longing for Temple worship. He cried out, "How blessed are those who find their strength in you, and long to travel the roads that lead to your temple! As they pass through the Baca Valley, he provides a spring for them" (Psalm 84:5-6, NET).

The Baca Valley could have been an unknown and arid valley through which pilgrims passed on their way to Jerusalem. But many take the phrase as a metaphor and translate it "the valley of weeping" or "the valley of affliction".

God is the subject and the valley the object. Thus, when we find our strength in him, he makes the valley into a spring.

This is our time to demonstrate to a watching world the sufficiency of our Christ and His written word. We know the provision of God through the revelation of His written word. He in whose hand is the future is sufficient to turn every valley and every tear the Enemy would use to destroy into that which is a blessing.

Perhaps our greatest evangelistic tract in today's world is our unwavering trust in the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He alone is our strength that transcends all of our valleys of weeping.

October 19, 2008

I ran across this article by Charles Swindoll yesterday. I have read it twice, printed out a copy and now am passing it on to you. I cannot say it better than Swindoll.

Many of my friends are going through an incredibly difficult season. Hopefully, this will help. I got to this article by first reading this, and then googling Dan Taylor and certainty. The article by Swindoll came up.