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Life is filled with Beautiful Encounters. We unexpectedly experience people, thoughts, and circumstances that shape, and mold us. I’d like to propose that every encounter, seemingly pleasant or unpleasant, is in essence beautiful.

9.04.2016

Breastfeeding :The Good, The Bad, The Ugly!

Encountering Breastfeeding

Ladies, ladies, ladies! I have encountered many things in my life, but I must say breastfeeding has definitely been the most challenging, while also one of the most rewarding encounters yet!

During my pregnancy I watched many videos of instructors, and moms gracefully placing their baby or doll to their breast and instantly this beautiful, and magical latch happened! I read blog after blog, where women described this heavenly and divine connection that happened almost instantly. So you could only imagine that I was completely blindsided by my experience!

Now for the moms who had it easy, and the above paragraph describes you... God bless your heart! Maybe my experience will be just as lovely next time.

To be completely honest, during my pregnancy as my due date got closer, and closer I became more and more nervous. I could feel my nipples being torn up, and nightmares of them becoming raw and falling off invaded my dreams!

Finally the day arrived!! June 24th I gave birth to my baby boy! Now I knew what was coming from all of the videos I watched! As they wiped him down my heart began to pound. The moment that had been giving me night sweats was here. As the nurse walked over to place my baby on my stomach I knew that she was a few steps away from encouraging me to BREASTFEED!

Panic filled my mind! Would it be like the videos? Would my baby boy latch on so perfectly, and we live happily ever after? Or would my dreams of my nipples being raw and falling off come true?

Well I wouldn't find out that day, because I panicked and asked the nurse to take the baby! Now let me mention that I also had a high fever and my blood pressure was so low that I had uncontrollable shivers, which made it hard to even hold him. But if I'm being honest, I was slightly relieved.

But that would soon change...

Because I had a fever, my precious newborn was taking to the NICU. After a few hours they informed me that they obviously could not starve my child, and that they would need to give him formula. Now in no way am I against formula, or mothers who give formula to their children. At the end of the day you have to do what works for you.

I wanted to breastfeed so desperately that this news was devastating to me. Although deep down a part of me seemed to be relieved. After a few hours the fear was gone, and I was wishing that I had my baby in my arms, doing one of the most natural things that our body was created to do.

When my baby was returned to me, he was well adjusted to the bottle. What did this mean for me? Jaxen did not want to put in the effort to suck on my breast, just to get out little drops of colostrum. I mean who would want to after experiencing the beautiful flow of that sugary formula, satisfying his hunger in minutes?

Was this it? Were my chances of ever breastfeeding over? Honey child when I tell you the Lord made a way, he made a way!

It took some time (two weeks to be exact) but I eventually was able to get my baby boy to latch on... to ONE boob that is. You see while my right nipple had everything in order, my left nipple was completely FLAT!

So this leads to.... THE BAD

After feeding for 30 minutes to a hour every 30-40 minutes, and gently laying the baby down, I had to drag my tired self to an outlet and do what? PUMP my left boob. By the time I did that and used the bathroom the baby was up to feed again.

Did I mention I was feeding every 30 to 40 minutes?

Oh but did you catch the part that said he was actually eating for 30 minutes to a hour??

My nipples were so freaking sore

Jax could have finished eating for just five minutes and want to eat again

Now of course things didn't stay this way forever. I am proud to say that after all of that pumping, my left nipple is no longer flat. Jaxen still feeds for about a hour, but doesn't need to eat again for about two hours, and can even go longer during the night. Between 6 and 9pm he feeds on and off but more just because he is a little clingy around that time. And my number one accomplishment is that I no longer have sore nipples!

Now that the mood has been lifted a little, on to THE GOOD

Bonding! There is nothing like the time I get to spend with little man watching his little jaw move up and down. Knowing that he knows that I have the goods for him is an amazing thing.

Snap Back! Honey booboo child it has been two months, I have not ran one mile, did one crunch, or step foot in a gym, and I am smaller than I was before I had him.

Have you checked out the price for formula? I am blessed to be a stay at home mom. Any extra money being saved is a win for me.

Less to pack! Man I don't have to think about warming bottles, keeping them warm while out, worrying about running out. Its a beautiful thing.

Shopping! All clothing must be breastfeeding friendly, which means my closet got the ultimate update.

Feeling Empowered! I must say in the beginning I did NOT feel empowered. I felt defeated. But now I can hold my head up knowing that I am doing something so natural. I can admire how amazing, detailed, and intentional God was when creating us. And I feel empowered knowing that I will have a healthy little chunk because I was able to overcome, push through, and continue to breastfeed.

So ladies, my biggest advice is don't do like me and watch thousands of videos of other women's journeys and try to make it your own. Those videos may show that breastfeeding for some is instantly magical. But do not feel discouraged if that is not currently the case for you. If you decide on formula, good for you, if you breastfeed, good for you. Just know that everyone's journey is different and valid. For me breast feeding ended up having its perks, but boy oh boy was the journey a rough one!

Comment below and share your experiences with breastfeeding. I would love to hear your stories.