Hi AmuseMe,
I think your point about expecting to be treated with dignity and respect simply because you are a human being is the essential point.
If you're in need of a short quip- one coulod alwasy say, "I may be fat but you're ugly and I can diet!"
However, in that vein, there is an entirely other dimension to this conversation about people who are fat.
Fat acceptance is one thing. Fat admiration is -in my mind- even better!
I think fat women are beautiful and should be venerated!
Eric

Hi AmuseMe, I think your point about expecting to be treated with dignity and respect simply because you are a human being is the essential point. If you're in need of a short quip- one coulod alwasy say, "I may be fat but you're ugly and I can diet!" However, in that vein, there is an entirely other dimension to this conversation about people who are fat. Fat acceptance is one thing. Fat admiration is -in my mind- even better! I think fat women are beautiful and should be venerated! Eric

You ladies are some wise women raising your children that it is okay to be large, but it's not okay to be rude as well as the fact that what a person looks like from the outside is not what is important.

You ladies are some wise women raising your children that it is okay to be large, but it's not okay to be rude as well as the fact that what a person looks like from the outside is not what is important.

RE: Red Head Daughter in Store...
WOW - I can't believe that.
My FIRST thought when I See or hear people making fun of others (me) - is to confront them. They dont expect it. They ACT like you cant hear them - or like you are SUPPOSED to pretend to not hear them.
I usuall just ASK them - WHAT is it about YOUR life that is SO bad that you need to MAKE FUN OF / ATTACK / CRITISIZE - ME - to make yourself FEEL better?
What HAVE you gained by this? You dont KNOW me - WHAT have I done to YOU? Do you WANT to try to make fun of me or make me feel bad? Why? Do you ALWAYS do that to Strangers? What do you think that says about YOU and WHO you are?
AND - WHY does hurting someone you say you believe is "inferior" to you in the first place - MAKE you feel better?
Is it because YOU feel or ARE inferior - so attacking others makes you feel "bigger".
It doesnt work that way.....
They are usually surprised, feel bad and apologize, get mad (why mad? They were being rude. Does NO ONE call them on it?) --- get embarassed... SOMTHING...
- THAT specific comment, Though - Id be tempted to say - GO AHEAD AND KILL YOURSELF NOW... It WILL make the workd a better place...
(i know thats bad)
I use to work retail and had to deal with TONS of rude people. I found that you SHOULD try to be professional as much as you can. BUT if you are personally attacked, or if someone is SO rude that it exceeds boundries of regular interaction....GO AHEAD and SAY somthing. You should be CALM and Reserved - to a degree...dont go off like you might in another environment. BUT you shouldnt have to KEEP quiet.
1) - what are they going to do. Complain? - Do they want to TALK about the fact that they were being that rude.
2) - If you are a good worker - and your employer decides it is OK for you to be demoralized by a customer - get another job. It's not worth it.
A manager should KICK OUT the customer if THEY heard it.
There are ALWAYS other jobs. Especially Mall/Retail type... and some employers are TERRIBLE and some are OK.

RE: Red Head Daughter in Store... WOW - I can't believe that. My FIRST thought when I See or hear people making fun of others (me) - is to confront them. They dont expect it. They ACT like you cant hear them - or like you are SUPPOSED to pretend to not hear them. I usuall just ASK them - WHAT is it about YOUR life that is SO bad that you need to MAKE FUN OF / ATTACK / CRITISIZE - ME - to make yourself FEEL better? What HAVE you gained by this? You dont KNOW me - WHAT have I done to YOU? Do you WANT to try to make fun of me or make me feel bad? Why? Do you ALWAYS do that to Strangers? What do you think that says about YOU and WHO you are? AND - WHY does hurting someone you say you believe is "inferior" to you in the first place - MAKE you feel better? Is it because YOU feel or ARE inferior - so attacking others makes you feel "bigger". It doesnt work that way..... They are usually surprised, feel bad and apologize, get mad (why mad? They were being rude. Does NO ONE call them on it?) --- get embarassed... SOMTHING... - THAT specific comment, Though - Id be tempted to say - GO AHEAD AND KILL YOURSELF NOW... It WILL make the workd a better place... (i know thats bad) I use to work retail and had to deal with TONS of rude people. I found that you SHOULD try to be professional as much as you can. BUT if you are personally attacked, or if someone is SO rude that it exceeds boundries of regular interaction....GO AHEAD and SAY somthing. You should be CALM and Reserved - to a degree...dont go off like you might in another environment. BUT you shouldnt have to KEEP quiet. 1) - what are they going to do. Complain? - Do they want to TALK about the fact that they were being that rude. 2) - If you are a good worker - and your employer decides it is OK for you to be demoralized by a customer - get another job. It's not worth it. A manager should KICK OUT the customer if THEY heard it. There are ALWAYS other jobs. Especially Mall/Retail type... and some employers are TERRIBLE and some are OK.

OMG!!! I cannot believe the ignorance of some people. Yes, there are people who eat the wrong things and do not get much exercise. I believe there is a word for it called DEPRESSION. I am a depressed person, mostly because I am disabled, cannot hold my head upright for long periods at a time, nor can I walk more than 200 ft at a time because of a lower back problem, (which came BEFORE the weight, I might add). I have to take mass quanities of medications just to get through the day and the pain. These in themselves can help me to gain weight.
I feel so sorry for these ignorant people that have so much time on their hands that they have to go to a BBW site and try to berate us. I have to say God Bless YOU, that you are healthy. If it weren't for we BBW's you would have nothing to compare yourself to and make you feel superior.
Whimsical 2000

OMG!!! I cannot believe the ignorance of some people. Yes, there are people who eat the wrong things and do not get much exercise. I believe there is a word for it called DEPRESSION. I am a depressed person, mostly because I am disabled, cannot hold my head upright for long periods at a time, nor can I walk more than 200 ft at a time because of a lower back problem, (which came BEFORE the weight, I might add). I have to take mass quanities of medications just to get through the day and the pain. These in themselves can help me to gain weight. I feel so sorry for these ignorant people that have so much time on their hands that they have to go to a BBW site and try to berate us. I have to say God Bless YOU, that you are healthy. If it weren't for we BBW's you would have nothing to compare yourself to and make you feel superior. Whimsical 2000

I have had problems with my children's classmates too. I participate in classroom functions regularly and as a result I am often talked about in my second grader's class. She comes home to me mostly angry but sometimes sad about some schoolmate calling me fat, and I just have to tell her that I AM fat... but I am also more than fat... It's OK and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. What IS wrong are those children who think it is okay to say such rude things to others.
I have on several occasions called out mothers who had "shushed" their children's rude comments in public places. Don't shush your children!! Tell them that what they said was inappropriate and hurtful. Parents who fail to do so should be ashamed of themselves for not teaching their children to "do unto others"... Is there any difference between someone saying "OMG - look how BLACK or SHORT or GAY that guy is?!???? No, I really don't think so. For the most part, overweight people are overweight because of their genetic make-up. One thing is certain: I WILL NEVER TRY AND JUSTIFY MY WEIGHT to someone so ignorant to make such statements Wanda posted because they don't deserve to know the struggle that defines me as a person and made me who I am today.
What needs to happen is as a whole "large" people need to stand up for their own dignity - no matter what the reason they have extra poundage - and say "Hey, don't disrespect me! You are teaching your children your ignorance."
I am who I am. You don't have to like me, but you will respect me or I will defend myself and call you out for your ignorant and childish behavior, in public, in front of your friends and I will chastise you like the child your attitude is portraying in front of your own children whom you are teaching to be so unkind.
Bluegirl - if your daughter works at a place that would not respect her as a person and remove from the establishment the rude patrons verbally attacking her then she really shouldn't work there anyway, so if I were her I wouldn't worry about losing my job by defending myself. I think perhaps she was embarrassed and shocked and didn't want to cause a scene therefore pretended not to hear what was said. I did that very same thing lots of times. It's hard to say how she should have reacted; we are talking about school aged children here, right? Some kids just need to be smacked, that's my philosophy. If I were her? I would probably laugh extremely loud in an extremely sarcastic tone and shoot eye-daggers at them. I would have stalked them in the store till they left, or I would have gone to the manager and either suggest that they be checked for shoplifting... and as they were being searched or escorted out by security I would grin at them and make it known that I was the one responsible for their harassment - or I would ask the management to ask them to leave. If management refused, I would find another job.
Depending on her mentality, or how fed up with the harassment she is receiving from these vicious people, she has a lot more retaliatory options than what she originally thought. Don?t think for a second I?m not as devious as the rest of this cruel world. I use my evil side like I would use Karate: In self defense, it?s justified.

I have had problems with my children's classmates too. I participate in classroom functions regularly and as a result I am often talked about in my second grader's class. She comes home to me mostly angry but sometimes sad about some schoolmate calling me fat, and I just have to tell her that I AM fat... but I am also more than fat... It's OK and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. What IS wrong are those children who think it is okay to say such rude things to others. I have on several occasions called out mothers who had "shushed" their children's rude comments in public places. Don't shush your children!! Tell them that what they said was inappropriate and hurtful. Parents who fail to do so should be ashamed of themselves for not teaching their children to "do unto others"... Is there any difference between someone saying "OMG - look how BLACK or SHORT or GAY that guy is?!???? No, I really don't think so. For the most part, overweight people are overweight because of their genetic make-up. One thing is certain: I WILL NEVER TRY AND JUSTIFY MY WEIGHT to someone so ignorant to make such statements Wanda posted because they don't deserve to know the struggle that defines me as a person and made me who I am today. What needs to happen is as a whole "large" people need to stand up for their own dignity - no matter what the reason they have extra poundage - and say "Hey, don't disrespect me! You are teaching your children your ignorance." I am who I am. You don't have to like me, but you will respect me or I will defend myself and call you out for your ignorant and childish behavior, in public, in front of your friends and I will chastise you like the child your attitude is portraying in front of your own children whom you are teaching to be so unkind. Bluegirl - if your daughter works at a place that would not respect her as a person and remove from the establishment the rude patrons verbally attacking her then she really shouldn't work there anyway, so if I were her I wouldn't worry about losing my job by defending myself. I think perhaps she was embarrassed and shocked and didn't want to cause a scene therefore pretended not to hear what was said. I did that very same thing lots of times. It's hard to say how she should have reacted; we are talking about school aged children here, right? Some kids just need to be smacked, that's my philosophy. If I were her? I would probably laugh extremely loud in an extremely sarcastic tone and shoot eye-daggers at them. I would have stalked them in the store till they left, or I would have gone to the manager and either suggest that they be checked for shoplifting... and as they were being searched or escorted out by security I would grin at them and make it known that I was the one responsible for their harassment - or I would ask the management to ask them to leave. If management refused, I would find another job. Depending on her mentality, or how fed up with the harassment she is receiving from these vicious people, she has a lot more retaliatory options than what she originally thought. Don?t think for a second I?m not as devious as the rest of this cruel world. I use my evil side like I would use Karate: In self defense, it?s justified.

In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

I had a short stint as a waitress (a VERY short stint) and came to the conclusion that people, in general, suck. They are rude, snobby, egotistical, and many other things I can't list here. It's a shame that they are raised to treat people who assist them in public places like trash. (NOTE: PLEASE do not be rude to your waiter or waitress. Their job is extremely stressful, they don't need you to add on to it, plus, why on EARTH would you want to screw with the people who handle your food??) As for this woman, what about those people who do try to lose weight, but just have stubborn pounds and low metabolism? I weighed about 110 pounds before I became pregnant, and I could and did eat anything without gaining weight. (I currently envy people like this and understand why many people didn't like me for it.) I now weigh just under 160. I know that doesn't seem much, but for me, it's a huge increase. I went from a size 2 to a size 14/16. Now, I have tried dieting, exercising, weight loss pills, you name it. All to no avail. My metabolism has all but stopped, and my body doesn't seem to want to let go of that extra 50 pounds whatsoever. Is this my fault? Not at all. All bodies are different, and pregnancy and hormone changes can wreak havoc on you. The extra weight from pregnancy is often the most difficult weight to lose, especially if your metabolism slows down, which it is bound to do. I know I get enough exercise (with 6 toddlers, I'd have to be a terrible mother if I didn't!) and I eat right---the majority of the time lol--and my doctor says I'm healthy. I've resigned myself to the fact that I will never get back down to a size 2, or a 4 or a 6 or even a 9, ever again. And I don't let it bother me. I wouldn't trade my babies for the loss of 50 pounds and the bragging rights to a size 2. And whenever anyone says anything about my weight gain, I simply respond with "Yes, I did gain some weight from my pregnancies. But now I have these beautiful curves that I never had before, and I love them!" What can you say to that? Nothing. In today's society, being thin is what it's all about. It's a bad self image to give to young girls, and my kids will all be taught that it doesn't matter what a person looks like on the outside; it's what their like on the inside that really matters.

I had a short stint as a waitress (a VERY short stint) and came to the conclusion that people, in general, suck. They are rude, snobby, egotistical, and many other things I can't list here. It's a shame that they are raised to treat people who assist them in public places like trash. (NOTE: PLEASE do not be rude to your waiter or waitress. Their job is extremely stressful, they don't need you to add on to it, plus, why on EARTH would you want to screw with the people who handle your food??) As for this woman, what about those people who do try to lose weight, but just have stubborn pounds and low metabolism? I weighed about 110 pounds before I became pregnant, and I could and did eat anything without gaining weight. (I currently envy people like this and understand why many people didn't like me for it.) I now weigh just under 160. I know that doesn't seem much, but for me, it's a huge increase. I went from a size 2 to a size 14/16. Now, I have tried dieting, exercising, weight loss pills, you name it. All to no avail. My metabolism has all but stopped, and my body doesn't seem to want to let go of that extra 50 pounds whatsoever. Is this my fault? Not at all. All bodies are different, and pregnancy and hormone changes can wreak havoc on you. The extra weight from pregnancy is often the most difficult weight to lose, especially if your metabolism slows down, which it is bound to do. I know I get enough exercise (with 6 toddlers, I'd have to be a terrible mother if I didn't!) and I eat right---the majority of the time lol--and my doctor says I'm healthy. I've resigned myself to the fact that I will never get back down to a size 2, or a 4 or a 6 or even a 9, ever again. And I don't let it bother me. I wouldn't trade my babies for the loss of 50 pounds and the bragging rights to a size 2. And whenever anyone says anything about my weight gain, I simply respond with "Yes, I did gain some weight from my pregnancies. But now I have these beautiful curves that I never had before, and I love them!" What can you say to that? Nothing. In today's society, being thin is what it's all about. It's a bad self image to give to young girls, and my kids will all be taught that it doesn't matter what a person looks like on the outside; it's what their like on the inside that really matters.

Thanks for your comments ladies.
I agree Biirdy-it does make it difficult rationalize with ignorance.
Loungenessis-I have to wonder. Sometimes I think that still wouldn't make a difference to some people.
AlmstHvn-what does your daughter have to say? Kids, depending on age, can seem to be real sensitive to things one day, and then forget about them later.

Thanks for your comments ladies. I agree Biirdy-it does make it difficult rationalize with ignorance. Loungenessis-I have to wonder. Sometimes I think that still wouldn't make a difference to some people. AlmstHvn-what does your daughter have to say? Kids, depending on age, can seem to be real sensitive to things one day, and then forget about them later.

That's sad BG. Being an employee working with the public makes it very difficult in a situtation like that. About all I can think of her saying would have been along the lines of "I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I am very happy and content with my body just the way it is."
I have difficulty comprehending that in todays society of 'political correctness' that some people think it is socially acceptable to make rude comments like that.

That's sad BG. Being an employee working with the public makes it very difficult in a situtation like that. About all I can think of her saying would have been along the lines of "I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I am very happy and content with my body just the way it is." I have difficulty comprehending that in todays society of 'political correctness' that some people think it is socially acceptable to make rude comments like that.

i often wonder if people who are so critical about overweight people and who'd voice their sometime ignorant opinions would say the same thing if they had a mother or any other loved one who were overweight. could they say it if they see first hand their struggle. i would hope not. all i can say is try living in out shoes. see how long you could last.

i often wonder if people who are so critical about overweight people and who'd voice their sometime ignorant opinions would say the same thing if they had a mother or any other loved one who were overweight. could they say it if they see first hand their struggle. i would hope not. all i can say is try living in out shoes. see how long you could last.

I'd respond, but I'm too busy being lazy and not moving.
One of my daughter's friends loves to taunt katie "your mom is FAT".
I heard her one day and told her... Yes, I am. But at least I'm not rude.
:P

I'd respond, but I'm too busy being lazy and not moving. One of my daughter's friends loves to taunt katie "your mom is FAT". I heard her one day and told her... Yes, I am. But at least I'm not rude. :P