Archive for the ‘In my mind’ Category

Indeed with the worldwide craze about people owning a smartphone, our little paradise in the sun wasn’t spared and so wasn’t I!

It changes your life completely when you actually own one of these technology wonders. In my case, it literally made my PC seem like obsolete !

What still amazes me is how I am experiencing real ubiquitous computing thanks to my smartphone. Although most of apps I use are social apps, it has really enabled me to enhance contact and communication with people around me.

I still find it quite incredible how I may be hitting the streets in Mauritius and be in touch with a friend abroad, something which was possible before only on Skype on my PC at home!

Today, I may interact more easily and quickly with anyone thanks to the different options available on a smartphone. I may ask my insurance agent to send me information I need in a mail even if I’m not at home and still forward these to my car leasing company without the need to be in front of a computer or a laptop!

I know,whatever I am writing here seems like old news for most of us but still I had to express my views on the subject.

As far as I am concerned, the use of a smartphone has recently seen a big leap in Mauritius and quite quickly the culture of using your smartphone more like a computing device than a mere calling device is spreading around…

Although we still are to acquire some local apps for local use like local newspaper apps for instance, the use of a smartphone is quite pleasant given you enjoy it. There are still those for whom a mobile phone is only to make calls and send smses.

In my case, my mobile phone is my full entertainment package – camera (Instagram), music, chat (Skype, Whatsapp, Facebook Chat, GTalk), social network (Facebook, Twitter, Google+), communication, mailing (Gmail), games (Angry Birds), geolocation (GMap and Foursquare), blogging (WordPress), online shopping (eBay and DinoDirect) and more… I can rarely get bored if this little wonder is around plus it has made instantaneous exchange of information may it be in form of messages, pictures or even recorded sounds or videos a reality!!!

Looking back in time, during my college days, where smses were still free and how we would spend houuurs texting friends, I consider that new generations have it even more enjoyable nowadays (provided they activated the 3G service) !!!

This technology world is really a crazy one, bringing people into one huge network where information is exchanged so rapidly and in such big volumes everyday! Imagine in the next decade, how things shall be. What am I saying, imagine in only 5 years from now! Incredible and wonderful indeed how man has been able to move from the Morse code to the binary world !!!

I remember when I was in secondary school and yet another academic year was about to resume, my dad asked me if I got new shoes for school. I told him that mum said no need to buy new ones as mine from last year were still fine. Dad then replied “As long as I’m alive, I will be able to buy you new things. Let’s go…”

I know it might sound like materialistic or a typical example of consumerism but what I saw, me, was totally different. I wasn’t interested in the new shoes (well not that much 😛 ) but rather in that affection my dad had just shown. It touched me so much that it still lingers in my memories.

Looking back on life today, I feel so lucky to have had such a caring and loving dad. For sure we’ve had lots of arguments, disagreements and angry moments but that’s part of every relationship, isn’t it?

Today I know it and I feel it, my dad is proud of us, his daughters, and he’s always been giving us all comforts he couldn’t get in his own youth.

He might not be a perfect person. He is sure filled with principles – each one more strict than the other – yet this is what made us who we are. Besides, I can’t deny that I’ve also imbibed some of his principles as mine…

My dad might not have finished his secondary studies and has no tertiary education either but the values and culture he taught us, was and is the most precious of all education a child could receive.

We have never really been sharing openly or talked about our feelings, my dad and I. Yet, I know how much he loves us. If we feel special like princesses in our home, it’s because he has always pampered us, cared for us and protected us with all his might and courage.

A girl’s father is and will always remain the best man in her life. He’s the only one who won’t ever break her heart and stand by her side till his last breath. Maybe one day, when I’ll feel it is the right time, I’ll tell my dad to read this as a tribute to his precious love and care…

Every year, it’s the same feeling, the same sweet sensation of welcoming winter with those very first cold mornings and that chilly breeze in the evening…

It brings back old memories together with the announcement of the best month (for me) to come – May. It makes me smile and feel nostalgic also.

When comes winter, comes the reminiscence of school days where school blazers were out, mock exams were nearing and night time had already come when tuition was over.

There are also memories of university days where courses were ending, exam time tables issued and classrooms re-arranged for exam purpose. There was excitement about holidays that were to come, lots of planning with friends as well as lots of group meeting for so-called group revision 🙂 . Winter also brings the thought of cold winter nights spent revising…

The ‘Winter Feeling’ is also that sweet feeling of May coming up with its load of birthdays, shopping and special occasions to celebrate! This time of the year always brings a kind of sweetness in the atmosphere. Maybe it is the same for us all, when it’s our month of the year, we feel a bit more secure, a bit happier, a bit more special…

She seemed lost, looking here and there, seeking for something and in that mess in her mind, she suddenly felt a gaze fall upon her.

She initially ignored it and pursued with her own worries but that gaze wasn’t warding off. She slowly looked towards him and didn’t know what to say. Her eyes did the talking.

She felt like he had guessed her troubles and wanted to help. Yet, she was so beaten up by the situation that she could hardly speak.

He held out his hand and gently touched hers. “It will be OK.”, said his eyes while she looked into them and felt tears coming to hers. That look came like a support.

She began to feel a lot stronger and hope was coming back slowly. Someone had understood her, without having to shout for help. It means that she’s being cared for and that she was never all alone.

She lowered her head, closed her eyes and thanked the skies for this. Then slowly, she lifted her face with a faint but sincere smile on it. She held back his hand and let her eyes say : “Yes, it will all be OK.”

When everything seems dull and hopeless. When everyone is telling you it’s useless. There is always something deep inside you that pushes you to keep on with your beliefs.

That little push is the faith in you. At times the whole world might be against you, times harder than ever and hope as thin as a hair but you still feel you can do something. This is faith!

Why am I writing about this? Because recently, it has and is still occurring to me to face such situations rather regularly.

Ever since I remember, I’ve been quite stubborn but then I learnt it is also called perseverance. I will not give in until I personally feel that all hope is gone.

At times it might look like I’m only silently tolerating or ignoring things but I am not! I just believe that every issue has its solution but it’s not necessary that it crops up right now…

I might be going through hard days but there is still that little flame of hope burning inside of me. It does flicker, it does lose its intensity at times but nevertheless, it never goes out.

It sure feels tiresome from time to time and that’s when I crash and totally burn in the agony of helplessness and the unknown.

However, faith always comes back. It is involuntary, almost innate. I’ve always ‘worked’ that way. Somewhere, some how, something will happen and things will sort out. That’s also why I keep looking for answers by observing this world on a different level. Sometimes to get out of deep mazes, all you need is a different view…

Hence, I just figured out that keeping faith is a part of me, whether I accept it or not. My mind and heart are conditioned in that way. They might drown in despair but still hang on with a faint hope, just in case.

I tend to think that I keep the flame of faith low just to avoid being burned by over-confidence and later on disappointment.

And this is how I always smile because I know deep down that for every storm, there’ll be a sunny day that follows…

When you see life the way I do, that strong urge to give to others just to see their face radiate with joy, is inevitable.

How and why, these questions I can’t answer. It often occurs to me to wonder why I am so different, why does this need to reach for others’ happiness keep growing? I’ve given up finding the answer because in the end, giving to others is not a burden at all.

Maybe I always feel like we are all so engrossed in striving for our way through life that we easily forget the small pleasures we can derive from it. After all, what’s the use of living if you can’t smile, if you can’t love and if you can’t find any bright light shining on you?

Hence, that pleasure I derive in giving to others. It makes the world, even if it is not the whole of it, but the one around me, a happier and jollier one. I don’t do it for attention, I do it because it is a need I have to fulfill and get the satisfaction that my life didn’t go to waste. In life, we can achieve great materialistic heights but if we can’t make simple little things count, we would have spent an empty, meaningless life.

And this is also what gives me pleasure in giving away. It is the possibility to make one simple thing – a flower, a chocolate bar, a candle or anything so simple, even a smile – become the expression of sweet affection and love. It is giving the phrase, “It’s the thought that counts“, it’s real meaning.

Actually writing this article isn’t meant to boast about me but again to share about it. Sometimes when you feel so different from others, the mind and heart seek to be heard and understood. This blog is a means to voice it out. No matter if no one reads or a few do. Putting in words what I feel and what I go through makes it a relief to have expressed what’s inside my head…

While people have been dreading 2012 for its prophesied end of the world, I’ve myself personally experienced the end of a world – mine more specifically. However, we tend to forget that every ending brings along new beginnings.

Hence 2011 brought about a terrible crash that slowly made me realise how life can be more beautiful once you’ve burnt, hurt and felt the true reality of it. It is often said that you can’t realise the value of what you have until you lose it. It is indeed true. Harsh times wake you up and forge your inner strength.

Life is that on-going training you receive to face whatever is coming ahead and the more you realise yourself and awaken your inner self, you find the way to follow to brightness and happiness.

With 2011 ending soon, I feel strangely more at peace with myself than I’d think. The bitter sorrows have faded to sweet contentment. Sure there are reasons for this to happen but the journey to that peace of mind wasn’t smooth at all. It is the relief you feel after going through storms, hurricanes, fires and crashes and realise that you can actually survive it all and that you’re not totally alone.

God helps those who help themselves. Indeed it is true, I’ve experienced it. I’ve been blessed with very special people who have been there to help the re-building of my lost world. Today, it is the best refuge I’ve ever had. I learnt about being on my own, about being my own support first and I’ve seen that sparkle in me die to revive as a stronger and brighter one.

Hence, I might very well say that I’m thankful for the pain and hard times. It came as an opportunity for self-discovery and transformation. Luckily I found treasured assistance from angels that came along my path. I’ve been hurt and pained but today I feel the preciousness of life and the intense joy of living it for it also gifted me with most wonderful times of my life. Farewell 2011 and thank you again!

N.B: This article marks my last one for 2011 as well as my 100th on SouOnline. Thank you beautiful people who inspire me and make life a gift to appreciate everyday !!!

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"If you need a smile, I'll be there.
If you need a helping hand, I'll be there.
If you think you're alone, I am always there.
I am that friend who cares for you,
No matter how much I get from you,
Even if it's nothing but a smile from you..." - SoU