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Advancing Shoe Storage Theory

Introduction

I think it’s good that my toddlers don’t take conventional wisdom for granted. It keeps them busy and quiet for hours. It proves that they are naturally challenging the world around them and will one day to grow up to be independent thinkers.

We normally store our shoes under the bench in the entry way, as 99% of households in North America do. (99% is a totally made up statistic). Yesterday the twins put forward the hypothesis that this is not actually the best place to store shoes.

Method

Shoes were meticulously moved in random order to six test locations throughout the main level of the house. Test locations were chosen at random by twins after all the shoes were moved to the previous test location. The test locations followed a clockwise rotation around the main floor of our house and were diverse in both horizontal and vertical spatial orientation. A wide variety of types of shoes were tested to ensure that shoe type did not influence storage outcomes.

Test Location #6 (Control): The shoes didn’t fall, we could make a quick escape from the front door and both parental units seemed pleased.

Success

Conclusion

Hypothesis is null. The front hall is, in fact, the best place to store shoes. You can use the bench, they don’t fall off, they don’t get tripped over and most importantly Parental Units do not yell, even when the shoes are thrown in a haphazard pile.

Suggestions for future research

Although conventional wisdom prevails in this circumstance, this does not mean efficiencies can’t be found in questioning other storage methods. Next, correlating volume of yelling with number of toys shoved in slats of gas fireplace. However, the current research environment does seem to be oppressive in nature and future experiments may have to wait until the climate is less hostile.