~ BDSM & Vanilla Sexual Delights

Monthly Archives: July 2016

There comes a time when we have to delete people from our lives, maybe they be family or friend. I tend to give people to many chances and all I get is screwed over in the end. I dont have room in my life for people that want to hurt me.

I have finally reached the point that I no longer have any desire to meet or be with someone that is so full of himself I want to puke. He played me twice in the past year but that is over now.

He has a girlfriend and he has no business chatting with anyone as long as he is fucking this chick every two weeks. He wants his cake and eat it to but I will have none of that shit. He doesnt want to end what he has going with her but he also wants to play on the side.

He told me he had respect for me but he doesnt know what the word even means. He gets a kick out of leading people on just to feed his own lame ass ego. Am I pissed? Damn right I am because I dont deserve to be lead on only to be dropped on my face.

O well, good luck and enjoy your games you play online, and no Im not going to feed your ego by posting anything on my fb for you to remark to. You are no man, no you are a little boy that needs to grow the fuck up because you have lost my interest and any respect I ever felt for you.

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Looking back my life has changed so much in the past five years. Three years ago I quit smoking cigarettes and a year ago I quit smoking weed for pain. I hate it when something or someone can control me so I took control and stopped two of my vices.

I am no longer involved in the bdsm world and I no longer allow my son or his girlfriend to disrespect me. I had to tell them to leave my home because they refuse to treat me with the respect I am do.

They ended up going to Texas unannounced on someones door step they met online playing League of Legends. My son ended up punching the husband in the face and now he is dealing with assault charges.

He didnt agree with the parents spanking their 3 and 5 year old. My son and Erica both claim to have been abused. Erica may have but my son has never been abused in any way shape or form.

My son thinks I owe him and I have no idea why and he can justify anything he does to anyone. My daughter will be moving to MSU the end of August so it will be just me and my pets.

Im finally getting into a groove that will allow me to have a relationship that will be healthy and happy. I dont have time for games online or the bullshit of those that are too insecure to let go of a relationship that is going no where.

For the lame ass fool that thinks he is so damn smart and you know who you are go fuck yourself. I am too much of a real woman and obviously to much for you to handle as you prefer those ten years younger because they can be played so easily.

Dont read anything I write or look at my pictures because you have no intention of ever meeting me so dont follow me online. Maybe one day you will be able to handle a real woman but obviously not at this time. FYI, it hurts when someone leads you on and tells you they want you and they insist on you repeating the same thing over and over to them.

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You follow me online and chat with me a year ago when you were living with your girlfriend. Now, a year later you are contacting me again and you tell me you no longer live with your girlfriend you just fuck her every other week.

You have either gotten comfortable with your current situation or you just arent ready to accept the fact that your relationship is nothing but a waste of time. If you two were meant to be together you wouldn’t have moved out or she moved out.

You chat with me for days in a row then you disappear yet you say you respect me. Why did you contact me at all if you had no intention of ever meeting me? I dont care if you are boning her I would meet you just not fuck you while you are fucking her.

If you werent attracted to me you would never have followed me online like you have for so long. What are you waiting for? What are you afraid of? I either like you or I dont and I think you fear that I wont like you.

You are wasting time and time is something we dont really have alot of. Do something that will impress me, try meeting me in public instead of hiding behind a computer. I think you owe me at least that much.

Dont bother looking for me on any bdsm sites and I have deleted my website as well. I am no longer involved in the lifestyle and trying to adapt to the vanilla world. I think you understand what I am experiencing as you have been involved in the vanilla world for so long. I do not believe you have ever experienced a submissive female to the full extend of the meaning.

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The last five years I have spent a tremendous amount of time on the internet and I have learned so much. I know when someone is trying to scam me and when I am being lied to.

There are so many unhappy people in this world but they just cannot bring themselves to make the moves required to make their lives happy. Let me just put this out there, you are an asshole if you are sneaking behind the back of your mate.

If you arent happy then end the relationship and move on or at least take a break and allow yourself to date other women or men. I can tell you right now if you are on websites and chatting with other women or men then you need to be bitch slapped.

The lack of respect in itself is nauseating but for a person not to be secure enough in themselves to make wise choices well that is just messed up. Do you think people just drop into your life out of thin air?

Do you not see that people come and go as they are suppose to but if you do not allow yourself to open up to someone else then you will never know happiness. You do have a soulmate if only you would let her in.

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I really have no desire to be with a submissive male but that seems to be the majority of men in this world. I asked a friend to help me change a tire and he kept telling me it wouldnt go on.

Im like for fucks sake do I have to do everything? He was trying to put the tire on backward and I am just standing there thinking to myself, what the fuck???? I am forever being let down by men and Im so over the bullshit.

I have someone who chatted with me a year ago, we were going to meet and he disappeared into thin air. Ok, if you’re going to be an asshole dont bother me because you are involved, married or living with someone.

It’s now a year later and he was back contacting me on skype. Of course he never shows his face and gets a kick out of being mysterious. True form he has done the same thing again about a month ago was our last chat.

He is obviously intrigued by me but he is hanging onto a relationship going nowhere fast. He told me he wanted me and he wanted me to say the same back to him like three times. What is the point of asking someone about their feelings when you have no intention of meeting them face to face.

He thinks he is all that but he isnt because a man doesnt lead a woman on and he doesnt sneak behind his girlfriends back visiting bdsm sites. He will never find what he is looking for on those sites and he isnt bright enough to see what stands before him is his soulmate.

Why do you want to lead me on only to drop me flat? I do not deserve to be treated that way and you know it. Get your shit together and move forward instead of staying in the same situation day after day. You show me not an ounce of respect even though you say you respect me.

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I’ve come along way in the past five years and I am finally ready to give my all to someone who wants to give me their all. My kids are gone and its just me and my pets which opens my life up for a relationship.

You follow me and think about me everyday almost and you lie next to her wondering how you’re going to end it with her without hurting her. She will be fine and its time for you to follow your personal desires.

You chatted with me a year ago and now that you are no longer living with her you are back. Maybe that all changed and you got married who knows? It’s not fair of you to put me in a position that I have to declare my desire for you over and over.

Then you disappear and I dont hear from you, not sure what you think you are doing but it is really mean and unkind to lead someone on with no intention of meeting her. You told me you respected me, well I do not feel respected in the least.

Im just not sure how many people I am chatting with, one or two? Stop with the games get focused and leave what doesnt serve you.

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This month has been one of many changes, some very difficult decisions had to be made and I had to finally weigh out what was more important to me. My home is my entire personal worth and every time I have to lower the asking price the less I have to work with in the end.

My home is beautiful but empty and filled with negative energy. I feel not an ounce of love or caring inside these four walls. I lowered the price and trying to sell the rv as well so I can be free. So many changes making me feel like I am bouncing all over.

I will rent a home once I sell this one because that gives me time to decide where I want to put down roots. My son is off on an adventure that has taken him down a very bad path but I have to cut the strings and let him learn the hard way.

My daughter will be moving to Lansing later in august and it will be just the dogs, cats and myself. I do nothing all day as I twisted my ankle and have to stay off of it. It’s funny how things happen in our lives, now isn’t it?

My son treated me terribly and I had to eradicate him from my life because he was slowly killing me. He is going to have a baby in December and he has nothing as he left for Texas thinking he would find a better life.

Well, things didnt go so well and the people he was staying with he hit the husband and now has an assault charge against him. I cannot allow myself to help him no matter how much I want to .

Now that the kids have their chosen paths to walk on I also have mine as well. I can finally allow myself to care for someone, I can finally open myself up to love and affection again without outside issues causing problems.

I decided not to get involved with anyone as long as my kids were under my roof and that was a smart decision. You tend to want to always protect your young no matter what but I cannot and will not let my kids dictate my personal life.

The very though of selling this house and moving to some place that I am not obligated to maintain for a month to month or even six month contract. Yes, its time for changes and every change I make is another one in the right direction.

I know what I want and I really have no desire to deal with people that are flighty and cant seem to get themselves focused. No, they want to keep playing stupid games like wanting to be told over and over that I wanted them.

That was like a month ago and I havent heard from him since-he did the same thing a year ago. Finally, told me about two months ago he was living with his girlfriend. I respected the fact that he didnt meet me while boning her.

I dont worry about speaking with him again because we are kismet and no distance can every keep us truly apart. We have a deep spiritual connection that keeps him coming back to me. One day he will allow himself to let me in and something wonderful no doubt will happen.

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You have been following online for what, 5-6 years now? Not sure if there are one or two of you but whom ever has been chatting with me on skype its time to step up. You think I dont know you are still playing with your girlfriend?

You think I am not aware that she is in your arms while I am in your mind? You think I dont know that you are fucking her with me on your mind? You are so afraid to let me in and I am afraid of you as well.

I am opening myself up to you but I will not be your doormat or second fuck. I just refuse to share my body with you and your girlfriend. I have no problem with meeting you,spending time with you but I will not fuck you unless its a one on one relationship.

I really wish you would either work things out with her , which by the way wont last but do what you must. You and I are twin flames and soul mates so deny it all you want I will never be far from your mind.

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Her life had been filled with strife and loss and the only constant in her life was her secret admirers online. They followed her wanting to know everything about her and the more they read her writings the more they wanted to experience her.

It had been a very hot day and she was laying out completely naked soaking up the sun. She thought about rubbing suntan oil all over his body and the very thought of massaging his ass and cock got her wet.

She fantasized about kissing him and getting him excited physically and the thought of mounting him was uncontrollable. They had the privacy of the beach by themselves which made it more appealing to slip him inside of her.

She guided him into her as she leaned over and brushed her nipples against his lips, taunting him to suck and lick them. She began moving slowly back and forth digging her nails into his hands.

She moved back and forth rubbing her clit on his lower abdomen and he let go of her hands only to dig his fingers into her ass cheeks. She screamed out as her orgasm began to build and this got him beyond aroused.

He grabbed her and flipped her off of him and onto all fours and he positioned himself behind her with his knees pushing her legs farther apart. Once positioned comfortably he guided his rock hard cock into her wetness.

Grabbing her hips he thrust into her with an unexpected tightness for a woman of her age. They rocked together and he teased her clit with one of his free hands which made them cum together.

After their explosive orgasms they fell back on the sand laughing and holding hands. He brought her hand up to his lips and gently kissed her hand. They looked deep into each others eyes and the unspoken truth that kept them connected finally revealed itself.

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Some of us have experienced some very painful relationship issues and those lessons have taught us to be very self protective. I have tried for a very long time to let go of all of the disappointment and loss in my life.

Yes, I am wiser and will never allow anyone to use me like I once was. My husband was a submissive, needy as hell and always looking to be more and have more then he was entitled to.

I am now trying to learn to open up and let people in, let people see the real me, let them into my private world and private moments. There is someone I have been drawn to for literally years but we have yet to meet.

What I want from him cannot be purchased only given freely and I do believe he is doing some healing himself. He is a good person that deserves to be treated in a way that makes him wake up with a smile and a lift in his step.

He is a very hard worker and always on the go but its time for him to slow just a bit and smell the roses. It has finally reached the point that both of us need to open up and be somewhat accepting of another.

At first I danced around this person but I have learned a strong person is only strong when they can let their guard down. If I never allow myself to open up than I can never grow as a person or be open to healthy relationships.

My life has done a 360 this month and I look at life much differently than I did at one time. I have walked away from a part of my life because I no longer need to feel control. I have made some substantial changes in my and I am ready to close doors.

The last material connection I have to my husband is our home and I have lowered the price just to get out of here. My rv I have done the same thing with, just lowered the price to get rid of it.

I dont know what my future holds but getting away from negative energies is my prime goal. When you divorce or become a widow it is always best to move on and leave all the pain behind.

Once I can totally let go of my past I will move on to happier times and a healthier life. I will be able to unload unwanted and unneeded painful reminders of where I have been. Then and only then will I be able to continue writing and sharing my fantasies.

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So many dates start with dinner then a movie and so many also end up in bed with the person. She so wanted to meet him but she wasn’t the type of woman that dinner and a movie moved her.

She was a woman that enjoyed animals and the outdoors and she prefered their first date be something that required comfortable clothing. No fancy suits, dresses or heels just two people getting to know each other without the pressure that comes with wanting to look like a professional.

She was more than happy to walk her dogs in the park, go the festivals, fairs simple things. She found dates to be more interesting when she could be herself and be comfortable in the environment.

She knew one day the right man would come into her life and she could picture herself walking up to him and place her hands on his face. She brought her lips to his and kissed him gently.

Her hands roamed his face, neck and chest and she could see herself slowly unbuttoning his shirt. She could feel the warmth of his skin and a simple kiss turned into a serious make out session for these two.

They couldn’t get enough of each other as the attraction was something neither of them had felt in a long time. She wanted to have sex but she refused to be someones sloppy seconds. She made him aware that to fuck her he had to commit to a one on one sexual relationship.

She didnt want to control him but she respected herself to much to let any man use her for a semen depository. Once he was willing to commit to her sexually then he would experience a sexual experience that would be so damn exciting.

In her mind’s eye she could see herself removing his clothing piece by piece. She loved the feel of his body and she liked running her hands over his ass. He had a nice hard on and that so turned her on.

She couldn’t wait to feel him inside of her and the two of them rocking together. She couldn’t wait for the day that they would finally consummate their relationship. As long as he had his freedom and she did as well both would find a very satisfying time together.

Her biggest fear was that he would fall in love with her like so many others. She wasn’t one to hurt others intentionally but when pushed she had no choice. Her sub had crossed the line and she had to cut him free.

He had fallen for her and he had fallen hard. He was married but in his mind he would do as he so pleased and if that included cheating on his wife he would do that. He would come visit her and he tried to buy her love.

He bought her all types of kinky gifts and he thought spending money on her and buying her gifts was the way to her heart. She wasn’t a material person and no she would have nothing to do with him physically.

She kept telling him that she was his domme and nothing more. She refused to involve herself with a submissive as she had no respect for subs. He wasn’t attractive to her in the least bit and she tried not to hurt him.

He finally woke up and realized that they would never have a vanilla relationship. He like so many other subs male and female looked for love in the bdsm world. The vanilla world held no love for them or so they thought.

She considered him a friend and nothing more and he finally realized that she was true to her word. She was never going to have an exclusive relationship with him. Not only was he not attractive to her he suffered from erectile dysfunction as well.

She was to sexual of a woman to settle for a man that had a cock that wouldn’t get hard. She was glad that her sub finally went on his way as he really offered her nothing. Now her alpha man turned her on and excited her.

She hadnt felt anything like this since she was in her teens and it seemed so foreign. They continued to play their cat and mouse game but one day soon they would be meet .Then and only then would like know for sure if they had an undeniable attraction.

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He had experienced so many skanky women around the world and he had fun doing it for a while but then he got bored. Sure, he wanted sex as often as he could get it but he got tired of women of that caliber.

He finally had reached the point in his life that he wanted more than sex, he wanted to meet someone that mentally excited him. He wanted, no he needed a challenge and he found the perfect woman.

She was dominant as himself and his desire to flex his mental muscle was exciting as hell. The attraction between the two of them was strong, powerful and comfortable. He appreciated the fact that she had worked damn hard her entire life, raised two kids by herself for the last five years and she was intelligent.

Her strength was obvious as she was steadfast in her opinions and she danced to her own beat. She wasnt needy, didnt want to marry, didnt want more children and sure as hell refused to let anyone clip her wings.

She had no desire to control a partner but her alpha counterpart tried to flex his control over her. What the alpha male didnt realize is she had played him. They chatted on skype and neither knew what each other looked like, he had looked at old pics of her and yes she had changed a bit with age. He on the other hand refused to show himself which was fine because when they had first met she was curious of his appearance but no longer.

She sat back thinking about how superficial all of us are when it comes to dating. We are stimulated by the appearance of someone. All of us judge by appearance and by doing so we tend to close the door before we allow that person to walk through the door.

She was no longer interested in his appearance because she enjoyed chatting with him regardless of his appearance. She already knew he was a very strong alpha male but trying to control her was a joke.

The banter between the two of them was funny and the respect between each other was obvious. He told her he wanted her and asked her if she wanted him. He wanted her to say it not once, not twice but over and over.

She sat back and laughed at him because he thought he was in total control of her. He had to know that he controlled her because that fed the part of his ego that enjoyed control. She knew a strong woman knows she can feed another’s desires without losing herself.

She strung him along because she needed to know if he really was interested in her or just her pussy. He had said the words she needed to hear and when he asked her to say she wanted him she had danced around the words.

She knew how long to string him along before his frustration level was so that he threatened to delete her or funnier yet he threatened to ban her for a week, roflmao. He would come and go and she wouldn’t hear from him for days so to ban her was no biggy.

She finally admitted to him she was attracted to him mentally but she didnt know physically if there was attraction. She let him think that she had given in to him but what he didnt know was she had been the coach and he was her player.

So many underestimated her and thought her to be just another run of the mill female until they talked to her. She wasn’t the type of woman that wanted anyone to clipping her wings. She needed to soar at her own pace and she refused to let anyone tell her what to do.

Being a grown woman she had no need or desire to control anyone. She wanted her mate to grow and she was secure enough to want him to travel, feel free to do as he pleased without the bitching.

She didnt want anything more from a male than companionship occasionally and great sex. She was not one that would allow jealousy to enter her mind or deal with jealousy of a mate.

She wasn’t the type to be in a relationship with someone and cheat with another. If she desired to date someone else she would definitely say so. She knew if her head was being turned then it was time to end the relationship.

It was obvious these two were drawn to each other but the alpha male felt the need to flex his muscle. She knew the way to deal with a male like him is to feed his fantasy of controlling her. She was secure enough to let him think that he was controlling her and that was the secret to their relationship. As long as he believed he was in control things went smoothly.