Lindsay Lohan's Vanity Fair cover story—the one she interviewed and posed for during the grace period between receiving her jail sentence and going to jail—is out. Her booze-detecting SCRAM bracelet photoshopped out of the pictures, LiLo denies being an addict, though she admits to "dabbling in certain things" when she was "young and irresponsible." It's because she had poor role models:

And when she first moved to L.A., Lohan says, "it was very go-go-go and I had a lot of responsibility; and I think just the second I didn't have [structure] anymore—I was 18, 19—with a ton of money and no one really here to tell me that I couldn't do certain things … And I see where that's gotten me now, and I don't like it." She says tabloids were her main source of news, and calls that "really scary and sad… I would look up to those girls… the Britneys and whatever. And I would be like, I want to be like that."

She has major daddy issues: "I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life" But will persevere: "I don't care what anyone says. I know that I'm a damn good actress." Vanity Fair also interviewed publicists who called her "Hollywood kryptonite" and paparazzi who say she poses for candids for $10,000 a pop. She denies it, but the paps are insistent: "She might not be doing what she'd like to be doing, but she'll always be Lindsay Lohan." [VF, USAToday, NYPost]

The first stage of Paris Hilton's "I thought that cocaine was chewing gum, and it's not my purse anyway" defense has failed, because yesterday she was formally charged with felony drug possession for 0.8 grams of yayo that fell out of her purse during her boyfriend's Las Vegas drug bust. She'll probably get probation, which is standard for someone with a clean in-state record. [NYPost, TSG]

Sam Ronson has been tweeting forlorncondolences ever since her bulldog, Cadillac, ran loose in her apartment building and killed a neighbor's 3-lb. Maltese puppy. Cadillac then moved on to attacking her bereaved owner, who had to be hospitalized. Animal Control took Cadillac away. [@samantharonson, TMZ, TMZ]

Sofia Vergara's boyfriend Nicholas Loeb once ran for U.S. Senate and now wants to be governor of Florida. Apparently he's related to the "Lehman banking dynasty," and couldn't escort Sofia to the Emmys because "he drove off a cliff in Bel Air last week and broke his pelvis." Why is this the first I am hearing of this peculiar, accident-prone gentleman? [P6]

Meanwhile, Sofia is "not afraid" of her pledge to run naked down Sunset Boulevard if Modern Family won the Emmy for best comedy. (It did.) That'll be great for Nicholas' political career. [AccessHollywood]

Prince Michael and Paris Jackson had their first day of school on Wednesday, their first time doing anything other than homeschooling. Grandma Katherine Jackson was skeptical, but the kids teamed up with their cousins and begged. The compromise is sending a fleet of full-time bodyguards with them, which will make them either the most or least popular kids at school, depending. [Popeater]

Anne Hathaway cut her hair boy-short for her new movie. Between her, Carey Mulligan, and Emma Watson, the age of the pixie-cut starlet is officially upon us. Buy stock in hair extensions now; they will be in great demand in one year's time. [Popeater]

Most hated man in America Jesse James and L.A. Ink star Kat Von D spent a "romantic weekend" strolling hand-in-hand in Fredericksburg, Texas, which they motorcycled to from Austin, where Jesse now lives and where ex-wife Sandra Bullock continues to be a presence in his children's lives. [NYDN, TMZ]

Bar Rafaeli lamented "15 year old pale extremely skinny models at the agency looking all shaky and hungry... When will it end?!?!" on Twitter. Is it casting week, already? [HollywoodLife]

A car crash and 250 hours of community service for leaving the scene of an accident taught Halle Berry the meaning of charity: "I hadn't been doing enough. It was time." Cue Don Cheadle: "We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something. " [P6]