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April 26, 2015

Kristen the Yellow Lab and I pity the fool! After all, what better way to celebrate 80's Week on American Idol than to remember the iconic people, phrases, and events? It was a totally tubular time. A time when women wore shoulder pads that made them look like anorexic linebackers, yet all we really wanted was our MTV. A time when nobody put Baby in a corner, except Bill Cosby after he doped her up with Rohypnol. It was the decade of Reaganomics, The Rust Belt, and Mr. Gorbachev finally tearing down that wall. As for music? Talk about bangin'!The Jacksons, both Michael and Janet, Madonna, Prince, Springsteen, The Police. And, as we all know, any time was Hammer Time!

April 13, 2015

Kristen the Yellow Lab and I are at the picture show! After all, what better way to celebrate Movie Night on American Idol than to pay $15 for a bucket of popcorn and have the medics called to defibrillate us back to life thanks to the heart-stoppingly loud sound system? At any rate, we are ready to be dazzled with the Idol performances of great songs from the movies!

"These 3-D glasses are great. I swear I can see right through JLo's clothes. Oh wait. She is barely wearing any."

Here comes Ryan to explain that out of the eleven contestants seated, only 10 will make it through. The other will sing for the save. So, we are advised to just sit back, relax, and take a few Xanax while we wait to find out if our favorite is safely in the Top 10.

April 10, 2015

Kristen the Yellow Lab and I have the cops on speed dial. After all, what better way to celebrate "Party Week" on American Idol than to make sure the underaged, over-intoxicated, and obnoxiously loud get their just rewards? Every party has a pooper, and that's why they invited us! I even brought my portable scooper. Fortunately, it doesn't appear that things will get too out of hand. These kids are more:

than:

Ryan takes center stage, and we see that the audience members in the front row are holding balloons. I don't know about you all, but the last time Kristen and I attended a party where there were balloons, the guest of honor was wearing diapers. But, enough about my mother's nursing home...