Okay, so that's not entirely how it goes, but we have to say Santa Claus is pretty fucking creepy.

As a kid you're told a robust man shoves his way down your chimney and gives you presents out of a giant sack that could easily fit two or three of your child-sized body in and that's totally fine.

We're constantly reminded that at any given time, this jovial large stranger is watching us sleeping on a snowy winter night, when all appears to be calm and quiet. But right outside our dark window a red-faced night-stalker peers into the rooms of children to silently deem them naughty or nice and you better pray you're not the former.

And don't even forget Austria's fun legend of Krampus, you know, the anthropomorphic figure described as "half-goat, half-demon", who snatches misbehaved children during the festive season.

This is what you get for being a little turd, Jimmy.

So the next time you're wondering why a child is screaming their head off taking pictures with the mall Santa, remember how terrifying it is to be forced to sit on a strange man's lap, while he's dressed in velvety red, and tell him what you really, really want for Christmas this year.