So… This is Awkward…

As an American, I would like to give an apology in this small space. To Tunisia, Yemen and Egypt – I guess also Lebanon and Iran: I would like to apologize for my government. In truth, we never meant well. I guess this is just one of those things… Like I’m sure you guys aren’t too happy with your leaders. I know you Iranians hate Ahmadinejad! It’s a lot like that, except, you know – we vote for these guys thinking they’re enlightened leaders and then they support brutal dictatorships all over the world. Whoops! Heh!

Man this is awkward. So…

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Sorry about the crushing poverty and two dollar a day wages. Remember the Pyramids, Egypt! Yeah, that’s really cool how you did that that one time. No alcohol, wow. You guys have steel testicles. I hear it’s all tea and sweat over there. Can’t even imagine, it’s like 57F here, I’m freezing! Time for a hot toddy – it’s like hot tea and booze. You wouldn’t understand.

Tunisia? Well, hey, it seems to be working out. That’s cool. Like, it wasn’t terrible. It’s not like France’s independence movement! Well, you might get to decapitate your leader if that international arrest warrant is ever fulfilled. That’d be awesome, I guess.

Serious face time. I don’t know a single American who isn’t cheering on these people’s revolts. No one deserves to live under a repressive regime. Admittedly, we are all crossing our fingers that no one goes for a full-blown Islamist regime. You know, we’ll have to topple that regime if you do. And by we I mean, Black George Bush will. It’s just… awkward, I guess.