If the ex-wife is going around bad-mouthing a father to her friends, isn't there a legal cause of action against her for slander/defamation of character? Her friends would be deposed and assuming they all don't lie under oath, the proof is made. One has already related what the ex has said. The divorce is many years ago and the "child" is now a legal adult.

It's cheaper to develop thick skin and to ignore all the morons who are satified making conclusions based on one side of the story. Who cares what this idiot says to her friends?

Forget the lawsuit; you'll have to document that her private words to her friends caused financial harm directly to you. And that financial harm will have to be greater than than the cost that you'll bear to prove it in court. And she'll have to have a way to compensate you for your proven losses. All of this is pretty hard to do.

This would be a civil suit. Unless she is in violation of a order in your decree (not to "denegrate" you to 3rd parties). Either way, think about if it is worth it?

Before you get too far with this, how much money are you going to spend on attorney's and others to get diposed statements, pay to have the ex served, pay for an attorney to prepare a court case, pay for an an actual court case with attorney(s), what your time is worth, etc...Vesus what you MIGHT get in a expensive civil suit or from a female biased familly court system? Most likely, the worse that will happen to her is a slap on the wrist. How much money has her spreading untruths cost you in lost wages? How much has the mental anguish cost you in lost income? Get where I am going with this?

Unless the lies are really severe; like she said you rape small children or something to that degree, and many people have been told this , its not really going to be worth your while IMHO. Most likely, the worse that will happen to her is a slap on the wrist.

Sounds like mom is having a hard time with perhaps loosing "her" CS and has "issues" that she had been unable to change/clear up in her head since the divorce many years ago. Chalk it up to her mental issues, and be straight with the adult child if they ask about it. The adult kid can make up thier own mind. I'm sure the person who asked you/told you about what she is saying was told it's a lie by you and is spreading that out as well.

Be the MAN you have always been and rise above her petty high school behavior. The best revenge is a life well lived. Ex is probably seeing that you are well past all this and its making her wallow in her misery.

You dont owe her any money, the kid is an adult and can not be used as a weapon aainst you anymore. You are in a great place, turn on the ignore filter, and tell her you dont care what she does. She cant do anythin to you anymore. It's truely done you lucky SOB.

I wish it were not as complicated as it is. However, let me add the ex is giving the adult child a sizeable monthly stipend and this has helped to drive his motivation down to zero to accomplish anything like getting a job or finishing college. We all know it as enabling. I call it child abuse on an adult child, as does a famous television host. She is still bitter from the divorce (which she initiated) and her anymosity and rage has put her in a place where the adult child is being held hostage, although I'm sure he would not look at it that way. She is manipulating him and in his own way, he is manipulating her; all this is well and fine as long as I am seen as the bad guy.

Since it does involve an adult child, the child abuse laws cannot be applied. The ex is free to give the child as much money as she wants and not require him to do anything except breathe air.

The reason for the civil suit for defamation and slander is to win a sizeable judgment against her which will hamper or eliminate her ability to pay out this monthly welfare payment to the adult child. I realize this is a roundabout way to accomplish the goal if disabling her enabling. But it may prove to be an effective method. I still would like to hear some lawyer viewpoints, if any are on board.

Thoughts? wrote:You can get no-bashing provisions put in decrees and pursue contempt.

Never seen a successful defamation or slander suit result out of a divorce. There'd be too many of them.

Thoughts?, thanks for the post, please know that this is occuring many years after the divorce is final and the child has been a legal adult for many years. So the decree/judgment is a document of the past and of no consequence now as far as pursuing a contempt claim.

This appears to just be a civil suit just the same as if someone at work was going around bashing you to others with lies and damaging your rep. Since child abuse is occuring but cannot be used, this may be a legal alternative which could prove effective, realizing there are definitely going to be legal fees involved. The momster welfare checks need to be terminated to allow him to grow up and move forward with his life and enjoy the feeling which self-sufficiency brings.

Defemation and slander suits are only for extreme cases as mention before, you would have to prove that you were damaged in some way by a blantent lie. The lie would have to be something that you could prove to be false like child abuse or you committed some crime. The one thing you must remember is that we are all entitled to our own opinion, in your opinion you think she in enabelling your child, her opinion would be that she isn't. If she is saying somthing like it is her opinion that you are not a good person then she can have that opinion and tell that to as many people she would like.

I was threatened this early after my divorce and I had to explain to the ex that the truth is an ultimate defense, if I say something in public she doesn't like too bad if it is true.

Last edited by sss on Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I am a lawyer and I can tell you that you are not going to get anywhere with a slander/defamation suit against your ex-spouse. Such matters are extremely hard to prove in normal circumstances and will be even harder in a situation where an ex-husband is going after his ex-wife. If you pursue this, it will be a big waste and time and money.

Just had my prelim hearing and judge ordered joint custody with me being primary. Order was rendered even with multiple affidavits against me by her supporters (her dad, her personal counselor and a colleague) making claims that I have an "inappropriate relationship" with my 10 yr old daughter. These three individuals actually made the claim on court documents all based on wife's accusation. I understand it may be useless to go after her on slander but what about the others?? Would there not be a case against them... especially the licensed counselor??

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