Friday, December 31, 2010

Another day, another cyclocross race. How awesome is that? This time the victory goes to Jonny B. He had the day's winning combination of Stybar, Nys, and Commeyne. The three of them managed to come up with 350 points for the FGBC's Toronto Chapter. Olli got back on track and back on the podium. His 310 points were good enough to move him back ahead of Jonny N. Charlene rounded out the podium with 285 points. As captain of the vaunted FGBC women's cx team, we know all about her real cx racing skills. It is nice to see her kicking some vicarious ass as well.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

It is not common knowledge, but Gianni is known to some as the Guru of Greed. He has been busy crafting his expertise on the subject of avarice into a race for us to enjoy. To wit:

Sandals? It may well be grounds for banishment from the Kingdom of Wolseley, but not only do I not own Birkenstocks, I don't have sandals of any type. I will find some.

Some loudmouth suggested that we might have a race on Jan. 1. That will not happen. That suggestion was made when judgment was still clouded by the presence of too much curry in the system.

So Nordic Cross #2 will be Greed Cross on Jan. 16. You have just over two weeks to get ready.

One way to get ready, and to spend more quality time with Gianni the Guru of Greed, would be to participate in his Frozen Crow ride on Jan. 8. St. Pierre to St. Malo and back via the Crow Wing Trail. Sounds like a winner.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Josh wins. Remember him? He had 460 points today. Second place went to one of our all time favourite people, King Andy. And Jonny G rounded out the podium. He no doubt made the podium girls smile.

In the overall race, Gary's fortunes seem to be mirroring those of Sven Nys. He conceded another 65 points today. But first place is only 75 points away. That deficit could easily be erased if Klass Vantornout would show up and actually race one of these days. Between Gary and me, it basically comes down to Albert (me) vs. Vantornout and Franzoi (him). We both have Nys and Page. The other American men are irrelevant at this point. And our three women are also identical. In addition, I have Jonathan Lopez on my squad. He is either retired or dead. Either way, he has not raced once this year.

What do you do between Christmas and New Years in Belgium? You race cyclocross. There are six races over the next eight days.

It starts today in Zolder on a course that incorporates portions of a race car track. This is the 6th round of the world cup series, so extra points are up for grabs. There is 30 cm of snow on the ground. That should make for a fun race to watch. Tomorrow they race under the lights in Diegem.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Best ride of the year? Probably not. There were not enough crashes. Other than KK and the Hipster getting tangled up on the bridge at Omand's Creek, there was very little carnage. And the Cricket wasn't there.

But it was nevertheless a very awesome ride. A classic I Hate Winnipeg adventure. We slogged our way through the Ass. Forest. And then Gianni shepherded us to the snow hill. We climbed it. It is high. At least for a big pile of snow. And then we rode down. Good times. The guys in the trucks thought it was pretty awesome too. They tooted their horns with approval before heading back to their job of cleaning the streets for us.

Sadly, we forgot the FGBC flag to mark our presence at the summit. But we will be back. Possibly as early as Jan. 16. That is when Greed Cross is scheduled to go down. Gianni is the race director.

Good times at the klubhaus as well. JP and his friend from Vancouver brought treats from A&W. And KK treated us to a round of 56 herbs. There was another near altercation with Lisa. This time it was not Brad the Impaler but the Hipster who almost dropped the gloves.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Jonny G has an idea for the ride. Unless someone comes up with a better one, we will stick with G's plan. You have to show up to find out what it is though.

[Update - 2:13 pm] Gianni has seen Jonny's idea and raised it. Considerably. I think it might be possible to combine them. That could very well make it the top TNR of the year. And no, I haven't forgotten that we've already had a year full of pretty sweet rides. You still have to show up to find out.

We have talked about this before. It went down again this past Sunday. Videos courtesy of cxhairs.com.

Be sure to check out this one too. Even if you have to fast-forward to about 30 seconds in.

To say it needs to happen here is like saying that the dark at the klubhaus is sometimes off. In other words, it is incontrovertible. The best chance to bring it to fruition passes through the dark and complicated soul of Brad the Impaler. Could there be two cx races with cars on the course in 2011? We will talk more tonight.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The curry flavoured belches and cold sweats have almost subsided. Time to move on.

In case you missed it, notice the announcement about the 2011 edition of the 24 Hours of Falcon Ridge. Last year was good. But we expect a bigger FGBC presence this year. More details coming soon.

To help pass the time during the next 7 months, we will continue with our exploration of the seven deadly sins, otherwise known as Nordic Cross. We heard a rumour on Tuesday that the Editor was close to having a calendar ready. There was also a rumour that this year's series might include a 50 km cross-country ski event. We are not sure what we think about that. But that doesn't necessarily mean anything to the Editor. In fact, it might only serve to encourage her.

If we stuck with the schedule of once-every-three-weeks, that would mean the next race would be some time around New Years. It is hard to imagine a better way to bring in the new year, don't you think? Go ahead and mark it down on your calendar for Jan. 1. We will figure out the rest later. Envy would seem to be a fitting theme for that one, since it is arguably a big factor in the often self-deceptive ritual known as the New Years Resolution.

Sloth Cross, at least, is set. It will be on the February long-weekend, as usual. Apparently that means it will be on Feb. 19-20 this year. We have yet to finalize the location. But the poosher's palace remains a strong favourite.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I just realized I forgot to eat breakfast. It is now almost lunch time and I'm still not hungry. At all. That's how awesome it was last night.

The mood was bouyant at the start. It always is.

We were in the presence of a legend. His quiver of heroic qualities, however, does not include the skill of being able to estimate how much a plate of food weighs. He was WAY over the 500 gram minimum. Like almost double. Twice. A major strategic blunder. Liam got the closest to nailing it. His first plate was an inconsequential 2 grams more than the legal minimum. Very impressive. Notice him shooting the legend a scornful glare.

The Hipster did not live up to the hype. Failure is a beautiful thing. It makes us love him all the more.

JP went out hard. But he crashed even harder. "It all seemed so managable," he mumbled, before disappearing to the boys room to DNF.

Others found themselves emboldened by the new lower minimums. Three plates. First time ever.

The Impaler also polished off three plates, the last of which consisted entirely of rice pudding. It was a jaw-dropping and potentially game changing move, even if it was not part of his game plan. He claims to have shown up without any ambitions for the overall podium. But when the start gun was fired, he found himself unable to hold back. That is why we love him. Three plates plus an additional pint meant that he got to leave first, a full minute ahead of the other three-plate finishers, Juan Eppstein and me. He was second into the klubhuas. And second to find the finish line at the bottom of his glass. But immediately thereafter, he arose to make the long, lonely walk down DNF lane. Bummer.

The winner? Gianni! A complete surprise. For the first time ever, the overall victory went to someone who did not finish among the top performers of the buffet stage. Chapeau Gianni. That was awesome.

We have yet to debrief the new format. But it was interesting. Never have we witnessed so much gastronomic carnage. And neither have we been treated to the kind of drama that was on display at the finish line. Brilliant.

The poosher and the evil temptress joined us the klubhaus. It was pretty quiet for the first 45 minutes. Lots of moaning. Few words. But things eventually came around and the usual jollity and confabulatory goodness ensued.

Tunes? Red Hot Chili Peppers, Weezer, Foo Fighters. Or so I'm told. Malorie was at the controls. A nice diversion.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Here we go, boys and girls. Our favourite time of the year is finally upon us. Yes, we love ourselves some cyclocross. But at the end of the day, it's all just training for Nordic Cross. This is where the real heroes float to the surface. Belly up, usually.

We have secured a scale and planned a route. We decided last week to lower the minimum weight in an attempt to create a full on sprint for the finish of the buffet stage. The Secretary seemed to think that the previous standard was 650 grams of food per serving. We decided to lower that to 500. We will test to see what that looks like tomorrow and adjust if need be. The goal is to bring five plates within the realm of possibility for someone who can pull off a very special performance. Hipster? As usual, the first plate is a neutral lap. It is your official entry into the race. Each subsequent plate will net you a time bonus. Somewhere between 3 and 5 minutes. We will figure it out before the eating commences. There may well be Little Scrapper primes as well, each of them good for a minute or two.

As for the route, be prepared for a generous portion of river trail. We will explain it a little more clearly during the meal. Bring a good light.

It was about this time last year when everything started to head south for Gary. After the US National Championships he had a lead of almost 1500 points over Bull City Cycling's cx wunderkid, Jay. But once the North American season came to a close, Jay began to chip away at that lead. In the end, he wound up beating Gary by almost 900 points to become champion of the 2009-10 FGBC CX Pool. Gary's lead is not nearly as big this year. But he managed to double it on this crucial weekend. Most significantly, he did so by winning the two races in Belgium, thanks largely to the performance of a resurgent Klaas Vantornout. There is still two months of racing to go. The fat lady has not even begun to warm up her vocal cords. In fact, she is still hovering over the backstage buffet. But at this point, it doesn't look like Gary is headed for another late season collapse.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Now that the 2010 cyclocross season has ended, the Dept. of Big Ideas has a little more time on its hands. And they have been making good use of it. There are a couple of significant projects in the works. Neither of them is anything like last year's Big Idea. But one of them involves mountains that are every bit as daunting. Maybe even more daunting. Especially since there will be no trading off of riders for this one. They are certainly more legendary. Be sure to click "view elevation." This is the proposed queen stage. There will be 10-12 other stages.

The other project is much closer to home. The newly appointed Assistant Director of Big Ideas and the Dark Lord went on a reconnaissance mission today. Hopefully, the snow will be gone by the time we return. But that we will return is a no-brainer. There will be a grandstand run-up, plenty of punchy climbs and twisty turns, as much mud as we want, a mid-course beer garden and possibly a car wreck garden to ride through, a live band. And much, much more. As if that wasn't exciting enough, all of this will go down under the cover of darkness. So fitting for the FGBC. It will be awesome. Very, very awesome.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

The festivities commence at 8pm. Meet at the East India Company. Be prepared for something a little different than what we've done in the past. The Dept. of Big Ideas has been looking it over. There will be some tweaking. Most significantly, we will not follow up the meal with the usual lap race. Rather, it'll be a point-to-point dash to the klubhaus. On trail, as much as possible. There will also be some changes to the buffet stage. It has been suggested that smaller portions might make things a bit less predictable. We may throw in a few mid-meal primes for good measure too. The basic formula, however, will be the same. Eat lots and then ride hard.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

A very good turnout. It's always nice when old friends return for a visit.

We drank some espresso. It made Jonny G radiate:

We watched the poosher defy gravity:

And then fail to defy gravity:

Before finally retiring to the klubhaus for conversation into the early hours of the morning:

The Dept. of Big Ideas presented a report. They have been busy. So much so that their capacity to dream is running well ahead of our economic capacity to make them come to fruition. Some fundraising efforts may well be required. And so once again the discussion came around to the nude calendar project. With the Hipster and his fancy camera and photographic skills having been added to the mix, we might have something to work with. It would no doubt be tastefully done. But this discussion came to a screaching halt when we realized we couldn't settle the matter of whether to feature the boy Cricket or the girl Cricket.

Tunes? They were very quiet. Or maybe it's just that we were too loud. The Hipster dissed U2 and sung the praises of a Scandanavian metal band whose name escapes me at the moment. Perhaps he would be so kind to remind us. We also had a discussion about the awesomeness of Rufus Wainwright.

ZK as in Ziklo-Krossa. It's one of the few Basque terms without at least one combination of Ts and Xs. It was so much work just getting to Spain that they decided to stay and race a second day. Nys won it, ahead of Pauwels and Albert. The Dark Lord won the vicarious version, ahead of Jonny G. Jay, Ian, and Gary wedged themselves onto the third podium step. No significant change to the overall standings. But Gary wasted no time celebrating his crossing of the 10,000 point threshold. He's over 11,000 now.

Monday, December 06, 2010

The top four teams have crossed the threshold. We are in 10,000+ territory now. Others, like Halberto, look like they might not make it there by seasons end. Gary extended his lead thanks to an impressive weekend by Jeremy Powers in Portland. The US season wraps up next weekend and then it's all Belgium all the time, at least as far as vicarious racing goes. That is when Gary's season went downhill last year. We'll see if he can hold on this year.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Apparently, the women raced in Geiten last Sunday as well. They were not included in the results on cyclingnews.com. But the FGBC's Dept. of Low Stake Gambling is fortunate to be served by a gaggle of industrious interns. They scoured the interwebs and managed to track down the results elsewhere.

My girlfriend did not win. She was second behind Daphny Van den Brand. There are also significant implications for the 2011 FGBC CX Pool, most notably for the fierce battle for third overall currently being fought by Jonah and Olli. Van den Brand's win means that Olli holds onto his third place standing after all.

There is no vicarious racing in Europe today. But the next round of the World Cup goes down in Basque land tomorrow. That is, if the riders can find a way to get there. A strike by Spanish airline workers threatens to leave Sven Nys and some others stranded in Mallorca. Over on this side of the pond, the USGP series heads to Portland. Those races are always awesome. Velonews is streaming it live. Women at 3:45 our time, and men at 5pm.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

We got reacquainted with the Junkshon. We will be back there many times before the snow melts. Espresso is your friend. Speaking of friends, it was nice to see some old ones out for the first time in a while: Gianni and the Old Man rode with us. And even Halberto showed up at the klubhaus. He's off to Belgium this weekend to take in some pro cx races, among other things. We are envious. But that is actually fitting in a way, since we can consider it training for Envy Cross, which is coming soon. First up, however, is Gluttons Cross. It will go down on Dec. 14, which is less than two weeks away. The format may be a little different on account of a bunch of good ideas that got thrown around toward the end of the evening. But it will still involve feats of gastronomic excess. Start your stomach stretching exercises now. Hearing all the battle stories for the first time, the Hipster started to talk tough. Like 4 plates 3 plates tough. We suggested he might want to tone it down a bit. And then we explained to him what real suffering feels like with a brief recounting of the masochistic phenomenon known as Burger Cat.

The Impaler almost got into a scrap with Lisa. Over Guinness. That could have been interesting. But it's probably just as well that the dust up did not materialize.

After we were pushed out the door, Halberto discovered that his lock was pooched. Fortunately for him, the Impaler is always prepared for pretty much any eventuality. That guy is essentially a superhero. So he dug out his hydraulic pump car jack and proceeded to demonstrate just how tenuous the promise of security can be. Sadly, this was witnessed only by the vehicular set and Halberto. But they promised to recreate the scene for us next week with the old Supercycle that has been hogging space on our bike rack for far too long.

As far as the tunes went, all I can remember is that we were treated to Cheap Trick for the fourth week in a row. How long can the streak go?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

In case you hadn't heard, the City of Winnipeg is in the process of developing a Transportation Master Plan. You can find information presented at a recent Open House along with a link to a survey on the future of transportation in Winnipeg here.

Here is the plan: we will take one week off to recover from the recently completed cx season. Next week we will kick off the 2011 snow crits series. We will race every third Tuesday until the snow melts. This week, we'll scout for potential courses. We should probably reacquaint ourselves with the Junkshon too.

Monday, November 29, 2010

As it turns out, nothing's broken. This is good news not only for Wellens, but also for his helmet sponsor, Lazer, which was quick to take credit for his good fortune. He has to wear braces on his neck and wrist for a couple weeks. But as Tatyana Storm says, de cross gaat door. He'll be racing again on Sunday at the next round of the World Cup in Igorre, Spain.

A very busy weekend on the vicarious racing front. The World Cup series returned, with the sand dunes at Koksijde, Belgium. And then it was up north to Geiten in Holland for the 5th round of the Superprestige series. In the US, the NACT series wrapped up in Sterling, MA. And there was also a three race weekend in Iowa City called Jinglecross. Most of the men, it seems, headed to Iowa City. Jeremy Powers and the women made their way to Sterling. With that kind of split, it only makes sense to include both sets of races. In total, that means we had eight races in three days. Good times.

Taking account of a few ties, we also had eight different winners: Chris, Josh, Rachel, Jay, Jonah, Jonny B, Charlene, and Ian.

In the overall race, Gary began the weekend by losing his lead. But by the end of the weekend, he'd taken it back. He's got a 50 point lead over me. And Jonah's moved up to third overall, pushing Olli from the podium. But only by 25 points.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

We have said it before. Snow is good for Cross. It is one of our core convictions. We have not one, but two, race series designed around it. And a wool jersey too. We may get things wrong from time to time, at least in theory. But yesterday confirmed just how right we are about our belief in the awesomeness of racing bikes in the snow.

The J-Train does not yet share this conviction. In fact, one of the few things that was discernible through his sobs was a bleating lament about his hatred for the snow. We suggested to him a number of times that he might quit. But he is a stubborn little guy. It kind of reminds me of someone. Some day, he will cross paths with loathsome soul who will come up with a race designed to crack him. It will probably be called Wrath Cross. It won't work. The J-Train is no Juan Eppstein.

As for the rest of us, our collective mood was considerably more buoyant about the opportunity to race our bikes in the snow. Brilliant rays of darkness were sprinkled throughout the chaos that ensued on the traction deprived course. That was nice to see. It was especially gratifying to see the Hipster there with a new bike. He bought a license just so that he could take in the final race of the season. There were, however, some notable absences. The Fraggle was studying. Or so she said. The Secretary was likely out saving souls somewhere. And the President, who knows? He was probably playing with his new truck. Cousin Adam was no doubt up to his elbows in baby shit. Or legal documents. It's the same thing, really.

Thanks to former FGBCer Halberto and his new boyfriends for putting on another great show. Special thanks to Morgan for his dedication to the task of shoveling snow onto the course. It made for some good crashes. All of this confirms the wisdom of extending the cx season straight through the end of November. As far as cx conditions go, this is about as good as it gets. The format was interesting. The B racers and the always responsible Citizens were granted a head start, leaving the A field to huddle together like penguins trying to stay warm for what seemed an interminable length of time. Some of the B racers seemed less than thrilled as the Dark Lord and his minions roared by trying to find the front of the race. But it did give the whole thing a nice twist. We never did find the front. But the Cricket came close. Paul B won it. That guy is alright.

Our man with the camera, Dave Benson, was kind enough to share some photos of the dark side in action. See more here.

Gianni is not technically part of the dark side, even though he knows he should be. Nevertheless, he did serve up the photo of the day:

Thursday, November 25, 2010

1) Math is hard. We all know that. Some of us know it better than others. But it can also be useful. Check this out: 182 x 2 = 364. And this: 364 < 365. Roughly translated, this means that we have just crossed the half-way point to the 2011 Spring Ride. Yeehaw! From here on out, the next Spring Ride is closer than the last one. That is worth celebrating. So if you happen to have a pint close by, be sure to raise it and make a little toast to this important milestone.

2) That is the good news. The bad news is that half a year is still a relatively long wait. To bide our time, we have racing on tap. And lots of it. Nordic Cross and the Snow Crits are coming. Maybe even some roller racing? But we still have one more race to go in a cx season that has been nothing short of jaw droppingly awesome. With all the snow that has fallen in the past 7 days, it is sure to make a strong case for race of the season in a season that is already full of races worthy of that designation. This time last week, the ground was still bare. Weird.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

We rode. And so to apply the formula from this week's poster, we can now happily infer that our legs are just a little bit more sexy. It's called modus ponens.

All the talk of sexiness led some to conjure up memories of the bike fairy. She has been good to us. We will continue to follow her lead. Others found their imaginations drawn more toward nude photos of Mario Cipollini. Sexiness is a multifaceted and richly textured thing.

We rode around in Assiniboine Park. The fence that has been sealing off the new duck pond and playground construction project was down, so we let ourselves in. Good times. A perfect venue for Nordic Cross, or perhaps one of our snow crits. The toboggan hill proved much safer to ride than the one in Central Park.

Back at the klubhaus, we thoroughly analyzed the potential of a range of new ideas and projects. All of them were enthusiastically endorsed. The horse barn race will happen. Probably some time in January. And Nordic Cross will begin sometime in early December. With Gluttons Cross, of course.

The Hipster showed off a very fancy camera. The Secretary and Tenacious V talked click tracks and music. Some 24 Hours of Falcon Ridge planning ensued. Needless to say, the Spring Ride received its fair share of attention. We did not take another vote on accomodations. But we did take some time, for the third week in a row, to ponder the awesomeness of the chip buffet. We will need to find a mountain bike for the Hipster. The relatively medium aesthetic quality of our blog was noted. And affirmed as something that should not be screwed around with. And the president dropped by to introduce us to his new truck.

A very good night on the tunes front: the Clash, Cheap Trick, Allmans, and more.

Monday, November 22, 2010

There were two races this weekend. Both of them were in Belgium, where the torrential rains finally stopped. It didn't take long, apparently, for the mud to dry into a concrete-like surface. There was no running in ankle deep slop for half a lap this weekend. Instead they were flying around the course on Saturday in Hasselt, where Kevin Pauwels took the surprise win. And he almost did it again on Sunday in Gavere. But Nys managed to hold him off in the sprint to the line. Stybar hasn't won a race in a while now, and Albert still seems to be waiting for his form to show up.

In the CX Pool, Olli won in Hasselt. He finished ahead of Ryan and Tomek. I won in Gavere to maintain my recent pattern of winning every other race. Jonny G and Gary rounded out the podium. There was no change in the top three spots overall. But Gary's lead is down to just 65 points. Ryan has moved ahead of Jonah into fourth overall. Meanwhile, down at the bottom end of the standings, Ian and Hal continue their game of hot potato with the lanterne rouge. Ian took it over from Hal last weekend. But he managed to toss it back into Hal's hands this weekend.