Opinion

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Modi accepts Congress’s ‘Swamy Modi's mask claim as true, says Swamy is the one making all foreign trips wearing his mask

Face/Off

Prime Minister Narendra Modi has agreed today that Congress’s claim ‘Swamy is Modi’s Mask’ is true, and that he had a secret pact with Dr. Swamy under which they both decided to wear each other’s masks.

Speaking to Unreal Times, psycho Modi said, “After I became Prime Minister, I realized that it would be a bit unbecoming of me to take digs at opposition leaders every now and again. However, it’s virtually impossible for a normal human being to resist the temptation of poking fun at Papp…I mean, Mr. Gandhi, and the idea of swapping masks crossed my mind. I discussed the idea with Swamy and he immediately agreed. Little did I know that he had such wicked plans.”

“I first learned about the misuse of my mask when I reached airport for my first foreign trip as Prime Minister. The person at the boarding desk looked at my ticket and my I-card suspiciously and said PM had already left for Brazil in the morning. When I informed them that I am the Prime Minister of India, they laughed uncontrollably and tried to smell my breath. That’s when I realized that Swamy had gone on that Brazil trip wearing my mask,” he scrolled through a few photographs of Amazon rainforest and grunted, “Cheater cock.”

“The same thing happened when Obama came to India. Swamy told me that their flight would reach Delhi at 10 O’clock, but while I was getting ready to receive them, wondering whether to shake hands with Obama or greet him with a namaste, I saw on television that Swamy was already on the tarmac, hugging Obama in my mask. Why on earth would anyone hug a stranger?”

When we asked him if he is the one going at Gandhis wearing Swamy mask, he said, “Well, I mean…see, since we won the general election, Rahul Gandhi has been irritating me by bursting crackers outside my house at 2 O’clock in the night and putting chewing gums on my seat in parliament. He even left a cockroach in my bedroom one day and you know how dangerous cockroaches…, Anyway, guess I will have to take my mask back,” he scrolled through the images of Niagara Falls and said, “I am losing more than I am gaining.”

We asked him if this was causing any confusion during diplomatic visits, and he said, “No, we both are vegetarians.”