I'm a creative-type who's been making a living in the digital realm. This past year, I wrote/directed a dick-pick sketch that got over ten million views...and my parents couldn't be prouder. When I have any amount of creative control, I do stuff like this:

And I don't appreciate OkCupid making me go there. I thought we were all having fun. And then it got real on question two. I think we all felt that, didn't we.

I’m really good at

Coming up with more interesting questions than this one!

IF YOUR FRONT DOOR COULD MAGICALLY LEAD ANYWHERE IN LOS ANGELES, WHERE WOULD IT BE?The Last Bookstore. That would not get old. And yes, it would be through the labyrinth.

IF THERE WAS ONE FOOD YOU COULD PREPARE BRILLIANTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?Sushi. Sushi preparation seems like a craft that never ends.

IF IT CAME AT THE EXPENSE OF BEING HOPELESSLY INEPT AT PREPARING A DIFFERENT FOOD, WHAT WOULD THAT FOOD BE?Sandwiches. Because people wouldn't get it. They'd be like "How can he do such amazing things with sushi but he can't put ham and cheese between two slices of bread?" And it would be endearing. And then it would get annoying.

FIRST TIME YOU SAW BOOBS IN A MOVIE ON THE BIG SCREEN?Demolition Man. I wonder what happened to that random boobs channel girl...

(Quick google search)

Her name is Brandy Ledford. And she's doing okay!

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE... FINISH THE SENTENCE.People who have seen The Wire and people who are sick and tired of you telling them to watch The Wire. I will watch The Wire. It's seems like a commitment.

See? Now you have no idea what I'm really good at. We officially have some stuff to talk about when we get a drink.

Music: The Hold Steady. Also, if you have any other new bands you could recommend like The Hold Steady, that'd be great cause I think they're getting done.

The six things I could never do without

-- New music (by that I mean, when it is forced upon me).-- Notepads & pens (I'm a longhand man).-- Wiki-tunnels & YouTube spirals.-- Espresso.-- Saying I won't post anything political on Facebook then doing it anyway. That pledge went out to window this year.-- Talking to my friends on the phone. I'm a phone guy. I'm at my best when I talk on the phone. My best!

I spend a lot of time thinking about

George Michael and Maeby are still married! And Season Four didn't even begin to address this!!! I've waited eight years. How much longer do I have to wait now?

On a typical Friday night I am

Yes -- I am.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

Sometimes when I don't know what decision to make, I ask myself what would Spider-Man do.

And then I crush it.

You should message me if

I'm interested in assertive, intelligent, and truly truly funny women who know what they want in life and aren't afraid to tackle it. If that's you, you should probably let me know.