Very soon, a new champion for the worst corporate named stadium in the land shall be crowned right here in South Florida, at the venue previously known quite logically and respectably as Dolphin Stadium.

Sorry. Deep breaths. It's just that those of us here at Riptide like going to Marlins games without thinking about "Margaritaville" and the god-awful Corona-ripoff brew that will apparently soon be our baseball corporate overlords.

The Marlins haven't made this deal official yet, but we just got an invite to an "exclusive live music performance and media announcement for a major unveiling on behalf of Dolphin Stadium" featuring Jimmy Buffett on May 8th.

So we're going to take that as proof that this is a done deal. And also that God does not exist.

Tim Elfrink is an award-winning investigative reporter, the managing editor of the Miami New Times and the co-author of "Blood Sport: Alex Rodriguez and the Quest to End Baseball's Steroid Era." Since 2008, he's written in-depth pieces on police corruption, fatal shootings and social justice issues across South Florida. He's won the George Polk Award and has been a finalist for the Goldsmith Prize for Investigative Reporting.