Finding Balance

So I will be 28 weeks along tomorrow! I am officially in my third trimester – home stretch!

It’s becoming clearer to me by the day (by the minute!) that I need to take care of myself first and foremost. Because right now, caring for myself and my baby are one in the same.

But there are so many things happening so quickly in the world around us. It is hard not to want to simultaneously get outraged at ALL of it, and bury my head in the sand and ignore it all. I see friends on both extremes. The ones posting constant Facebook updates of what has is happening and how terrible it all is. It’s all happening so fast that there’s a new article, meme, or breaking news livestream at least every thirty minutes. It’s exhausting.

And then there’s the friends who are are asking when we can all go back to just posting cat videos and pictures of our food. Not wanting to address any of it.

I believe in balance. I know I cannot get outraged about every issue – there are just too many of them. I am happy to show my support in many ways to many issues, but I cannot show up to every march and every rally.

So here are the things I am doing:

Calling or Emailing my Senators

it only takes five minutes to let your opinion be known

The staffers taking calls are usually polite and they have to pass your views onto the senators (even if it’s just tallying yays and nays on an issue)

I feel like I can speak up about a lot more issues if I restrict myself to doing just this one thing for most of the issues I am hearing about.

Re-posting information I find helpful and thorough on social media

I know this isn’t always helpful, I have said before that I am mostly preaching to the choir. Though I do have some friends with different views so perhaps I am reaching them in a small way

I discriminate which things I will share. Only things from trusted sources, nothing click-bait-y or extreme.

Commenting with Caution

If I feel someone genuinely wants to engage in a discussion, I am willing to oblige.

But only on topics I feel knowledgeable about! (this is key, don’t get into something unless you really know what you are talking about!)

If it turns petty I tune out. No reason to keep arguing with someone for the sake of arguing. That only drives a further wedge.

Get Educated

You cannot be an expert on all things, and that’s okay! If you feel strongly about an issue that is happening, learn more about that issue!

This goes in hand with the above, if you care about something and want to engage in conversation about it – learn all you can!

Focus on one or two issues that really hit home for you and try to learn as much as you can about them and how people are affected.

Do not feel guilty that you do not care about the same issues as other people. Do not let other people make you feel guilty for not latching onto their issues, and don’t get mad at others for having their own concerns.

Change can take a really long time. You will burn out, we will all burn out, if we all try to take on every issue that comes across our Facebook feed. Let some of them go. Have faith that good, hard working people will stand up.

Marches and Rallies

Certain subjects do strike a chord with me more than others. For those issues I truly connect with, I think showing up in numbers does make a great impact. If I tried to go to them all, I would probably be burying my head in the sand already with exhaustion. Pick your battles. There’s going to be a lot, and you’re going to need to rested and prepared!

REMEMBER WE ARE ALL HUMANS. I am seeing friends post things on Facebook like: “Okay friends who supported Trump, is this really what you wanted? How can you keep supporting him after ‘X’ (chose anything he’s done in the last two weeks).” It is tempting to call people out and hold them accountable. The problem is, people who voted for Trump did so for a wide range of reasons. They may not agree with what he has been doing, but cognitive dissonance is a real thing. They may be struggling with their feelings about some of the things that are happening and if we call them out and ask them to defend Trump’s executive orders and tweets and press conferences before they’ve had a chance to REALLY think about it, you can bet that they will justify his actions. They will find some reason why what he is doing is okay, because we are all human, and we all defend the choices we make when we are pushed up against a wall.

I think the best strategy is to approach them with compassion. This is hard. But give them the space and the safety to come to their own conclusions about what is happening. Some will continue to defend everything he is doing, they will refuse to admit that anything he is doing is wrong and they will insist that liberals are overreacting. However, there will be others who say ‘this isn’t what I wanted’ and will slowly come around to understanding the potential damage of the way he is conducting business. But we cannot be tempted to force this view. We must stop ourselves from “I told you so’s!” Shaming and blaming are not how we move forward with progress.

If we get enraged by every issue. If we pick a fight with everyone with a differing view from our own. If we try to re-post every article and meme and purport to be experts on all topics. If we attend every rally and march. We will burn out. We will not be effective catalysts of change.

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2 thoughts on “Finding Balance”

WordPress needs a love it option. This is so well put and thought out. I too have been struggling with my own outrage and how to balance and make a meaningful impact. I think I need to make a list like you have to keep me focused and preventative from it consuming my entire day and sleep in some cases. And I’ve failed miserably at my goal of limiting my social media time. I need to focus on that and I think it will help too.

It is so easy to become consumed by it all! I was just looking at your most recent post and love that you shared some reminders of the good in the world. It’s easy to fall into despair when there’s so much negativity getting thrown around. Taking a break from social media is definitely a soul cleanser. Good luck!