Discover what happens after the break-up

Annoying Excercise

I love my friends.They have always been there for me.I would be truly lost without them right now.However, even they just…I don’t know what to say.A few of my friends are life coaches, and therapists, so they have been even greater help to a degree, but sometimes they miss the mark it is so funny.Here is an example of an annoying exercise today a friend that is a personal life coach wanted me to do .He told me to visualize my future wife.His words exactly were “don’t worry about what’s happening now.You won’t be looking for this minute.Just sit down and write all traits that you want in a woman, character, looks, personality, write it all.And then just mentally focus on those traits.That will help you stop thinking about Tina.”

Really?Well, I decide to indulge him.

Ok, I’m game.So do exactly what he says, right then and there.I was done in about ten minutes.I gave him the list to see, and scrunched up my face. I knew what he was gonna say.I knew because I had been thinking it about 3 minutes into doing the exercise.What was the problem?Take a wild guess?Ok, now don’t say anything just let me tell you his response.“Joe, I told you to describe your perfect woman.You wrote down a list that describes Tina.Especially the physical traits. I know you believe certain things, but she has chosen another path.Accept that.”

You all know he’s right.I just smiled, got up and went into my closet.I walked back out with an old, dusty journal, dated for year 2001.I turned to a page I had dog-eared, and dated for March 20th of that year.I handed him the journal.After a minute or two, he furrowed his brows and then picked up the list I had just written.He then signed loudly.“You’re f@%$cked, dude.At least for the time being.

The reason he said that is because the two lists were nearly identical.The physical traits were the same, as were many of the personality traits.Except the old list I wrote 5 months before I met Tina.

The good news is that exercises like this are useful, not as a laundry list.But if you believe in the whole visualization thing, this is a good illustration.I did not consciously look at only people that had the traits I wrote down.I wrote in my journal, and forgot about until about two years after me and Tina had been together.So it works, I guess. The bad news is that for the time being I can’t do an exercise like this because I will picture Tina every time.So no visualizing for me.

Unless that is I want to pull a Costanza and just “do the opposite on everything.”J