Megarich comic book archvillain/Presidential candidate Mitt Romney is working on showing America that he's serious about helping the Average American Win the Future or Defeat the Communism or whatever. But first, he's going to remodel his California mansion so it can fit an elevator for his cars inside.

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Politicoreports that permits filed with San Diego-area authorities in 2008 sought to obtain permission for the bajillionaire to make some minor changes to his La Jolla beach house. Among the proposed changes: a 3,600 basement (presumably so Romney's NASCAR team owning friends can stage go kart races down there), an outdoor shower (because duh, what the heck good does an outdoor pool do if you can't also take a shower outside?!), and an elevator that will help transport Ann Romney's Cadillacs to the elevation of her choosing. And because the remodeling project is so ambitious and requires new permits, Romney's hired his own lobbyist to help ease the process along.

Car elevators? Now that's just inhumane. If Romney's not careful, one of his cars may shit itself in fear during an elevator ride and later run off into the Canadian wilderness.