Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro-knowing the difference.

Is making love a myth?

Is making love a myth? That is a good question. I have heard it argued that there is no such thing as lovemaking, only sex. And this got me thinking – when I was young, I might have agreed with that, but I can honestly say that now, especially since I met my wife just over 6 years ago, I believe that making love is not a myth at all, and I want to share with you why I believe this is the case.

When Lily and I met, I think it’s fair to say that neither of us had ever really experienced ‘making love’. We knew how to have sex, but that was really all it had been for both of us. In my youth, I had even had what I would call ‘great sex’, but I know now that was all it was, as fun as it was at the time. For us, ‘making love’ goes beyond that and I hope that those viewers who have rented and watched our video (a huge thank you to all of you by the way), will agree that our video shows that. That is the main reason that we decided to submit it.

As MLNPstars we know that, despite the title, MLNP isn’t just about ‘making love.’ There are plenty of videos showing loving couples, and there are also plenty of videos showing ‘great sex.’ ‘Great sex’ is wonderful too, because sex needs to be fun after all.

We are not saying that every sexual experience has to be deep and meaningful – we enjoy the occasional ‘quickie’ as much as the next couple. But, for us, it’s when you really take time to devote an evening to each other and please each other that becomes ‘making love.’

We don’t know who has watched our video, or who will be reading this, but we would like to think that maybe some will be young adults, who will see what we have submitted (and all the other lovely people who have submitted videos), as some sort of antidote to the hardcore porn that they will have been exposed to (which can sadly lead to negative sexual experiences for some young people). ‘Making love’ is kind of hard to define, but I will try, by using some words that Lily and I have agreed upon. Communication and learning about each other’s bodies – as Sarah kindly said in her intro to our video “a seemingly intuitive knowledge of each other’s bodies, something that can only come with lots of practice.” And that is correct, you learn and grow together as a couple.

Other key words are Trust (complete trust in knowing that neither would ever do anything to hurt the other), Tenderness, Gentleness, Fun and Laughing together when it doesn’t quite go right.

I imagine that some would probably say we are deluding ourselves by making the distinction between ‘great sex’ and ‘making love.’ But if we are, then I think it is a wonderful delusion, and I think (and certainly hope!) that there are millions of other couples out there who are lovingly deluded also!