Happy Ending: Juggle

Imagine you’re at a fair. A state fair, let’s say in Kentucky. There are bearded women, dudes selling corndogs, carnies chain-smoking menthol cigarettes and probably some sort of competition involving livestock. Then there’s a poor sap dressed as a clown, sitting in the corner tossing one single bowling pin up in the air and catching it. Fuck that guy.

Fuck him because you have to juggle. In the carnival of life, you have to multitask in order to be successful. Jamie O’Brien knows this. Just look at him here. Mainland Mex. 8-foot. Most folks would settle for a simple barrel — tossing one bowling pin in the air, so to speak. But Jamie? He’s gonna juggle. He’s gonna chug a Red Bull while taking a selfy in that thing. He’s gonna succeed, and you know that bearded woman is gonna notice.

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Deeed nooo waaayyy bro….thats so rad! Drinking a beer and taking a selfie in the barrel is so oooo gnarly and cool. Jamie O, your (notice the ironic misspelling of you are) soooo sick brah! Hopefully you come to the inland empire some day so you can sign my straight billed sideways tilted red bull cap bro….love, your fellow brainless dirt person