Sunday, May 29, 2016

50th Birthday Performance Party

For
my 50th birthday I created my own museum and I became my own party
entertainment.

And
it was all Mark's fault.

See,
every year he records my 'Pagan Humor' seminar at Pantheacon. And every
year he presents me with a pro-quality, multi-camera DVD, with pictures
interspersed and a menu with chapters and so forth.

That
no one but me will ever see. Because technically my performance belongs to
Pantheacon, and they do not take kindly to having parts of their 'Con posted online, (Even
if the audience isn't shown) because they hate having publicity and buzz and
people talking about it and wanting to come and spend all of their disposable
income and....WHAT-EVER -

my office

And
every year Mark bitches

whines

pisses

moans

LAMENTS
that all of my work just kinda goes up in digital smoke. (and his too.)

"Why
don't you do something, you know, secular" He has oft
been heard to complain

rant

OFFER "and
let me film it and then you'd have something that other people could actually
see?"

And
then in 2015 I had this zero birthday coming up, and those are
a big deal, so I thought I would use that opportunity to host my
own 'Performance Party' - use my friends as an unwitting audience
- and finally get Mark off my freaking back THE VIDEO
he's wanted for years.

The General Altar in the foyer

Which
I did. Which he then did. Which you can purchase and take home and keep under
your pillow. (Details at the end of this post, or see the main page of Angus-land.)

So
that was the original plan: Storytelling filmshoot disguised as a birthday
party.

We
needed a good backdrop, so I rented the Masonic Temple, which came with this
enormous banquet room. My friend Espi then had the idea of using that space as
a museum: Make displays (installations!) of various milestones of my life,
interspersed with pictures on the walls.

Chris and I taking a break, sitting at one of the
diagonal tables. A potluck table is behind
us, and pics of my family are on the wall.

And
this museum idea sat on my head and festered in my brain until it grew to
really ridiculous proportions. Think about it! If you were going to create a
museum of your life, what would it look like? What would you include? What
would you NOT include?

The
final layout had a main altar in the foyer with a big computer slideshow and
various artifacts from my life. The banquet room proper had been laid out like
a Celtic Cross. The middle of each wall hosted an 8-foot table with an
elaborate display of one of the major turning points in my life.

Center nexus on right, and lots of people chowing down.

The
diagonals, from each corner to the center, were where the seating tables would
go, so people could sit and talk and eat the potluck dinner that they
provided.

The
wall space around the room would show various pictures of me in roughly
chronological order.

And
in the middle would be the center nexus, showcasing the two common themes that
have run through my entire life.

Here's a short youtube video I made of the basic layout, altars, diagonal tables, center nexus - and Nancy and Rox!

What
to put on the four wall altars? Easy. My adult life has always been punctuated
by the '6's, and these touchstones were the perfect visual adventures for
explaining my life.

Jesamyn and Sabrina, getting their
Pretty all over the place.

Here
are the 6's:

I was
born in 1965, so one wall altar would be about my early life.

1976
was the first '6', and it was hugely important to me because it was the
Bicentennial. But I don't have much 'material' from then, so we'll skip
that one.

I
spent weeks going through the detritus of my life, sifting and sorting and
filling a huge bin for each of the '6's. Plus a slideshow for each, of course.

The 1965 altar. And so I began.....

Each
'6' altar had a card detailing why the event happened, why I think it was
awesome, and some trivia factoids.

Here
are the wordages from these cards:

1965

Event: My Birth

Reason for this event: Oh, I think we’re all familiar with the
procedure. I will point out though that one of my nicknames growing up was “The
Missed Trip to the Drugstore”.

Reason why this was awesome: Well, I wouldn’t be where I am
today without this.

Christine. Not sure what

her costume is, but I'm

not complaining.

Details:

• I was born
on June 9th (Yes, Johnny Depp’s birthday), in Lynwood, California,
future home to both Weird Al Yankovic and Snoop Dogg.

• The first
home I lived in had extremely cheap rent - because it was literally in the
shadow of the half-finished I-105, “Century Freeway” which would eventually
consume all of these bungalows in its path.

• My
birth-house then is now a slight turn in a freeway - how very L.A.

• I was a
breech birth, which demolished my nose and closed off one of my sinuses.

• I am left
eyed, handed and footed.

• My parents
thought that I would be a great spy because I have the highest pain threshold
of anyone I've ever met.

• I am
forbidden to give blood because of ‘anomalies’ in my blood chart.

• I've been a
drummer for 51 of my 50 years, beginning in utero, where I used to kick along
in time to the radio.

• The first
reading test I took, in 3rd grade, scored me at “12th school year, 9 month” or
past High School graduate level. Off the charts, in other words.

• To this day
I cannot tie my shoes properly.

The 1986 Altar: The Great Peace March

1986

Event: The Great Peace March

Reason for this event: The world was very, very close to
“Mutually Assured Destruction”.

Plus,
I was 20 years old, had no corporate debt, and was about to graduate from
college and move on to a University that I had all of the paperwork and funding
arranged for; perfect time to skip town and join 500 people who were about
to walk across the country.

Reason why this was awesome: How many people can say
they traveled with a group that walked across the flippin’ continent?

Plus,
yes, I left School, but in doing so I got one hell of an Education.

(I
went back & got my degree the next year.)

Wall pics of my early years.

Details:

• March 1st
to November 15th, 1986. 3701.4 miles, from the L.A. Coliseum, to Las Vegas,
Denver, Chicago, New York City and down to Wash. D.C.

• 2,500
marchers left L.A. - 400 made it to Vegas. Others were added or returned, and
on average there were 500 of us on the journey.

• 18 miles of
walking a day, on average, 6 days a week (optimistically).

• Diet: 8,000
calories a day. Basically anything we could get our hands on, in any quantity
we desired.

More wall pics.

• Everything
I had for 9 months fit into two crates, a jacket and sleeping bag. (One crate
was just cassettes and socks.)

• I once
spent my last $5 for sunscreen.

• High Point:
Loveland Pass, 12,000ft.

• Low Point:
Standing helplessly in the path of an oncoming tornado. (This was also a high
point.)

The 1996 Altar. Canal trip across England.

1996

Event: Canal Trip Across England

Reason for this event: Willow did a solo bike trip across
Southwestern England in 1995 and she kept crossing and traveling on the towpath
of the Kennet & Avon Canal.

She
thought that this perfectly calm and flat mode of transportation would be the
ideal setting for our friend Catherine, who has back problems.

The
idea for a vacation was thus hatched, and eventually 6 of us, the “Caen Hill
Beakers” spent two weeks piloting a 70ft. canal barge along this watery
thoroughfare.

Ed and Fernando. I Love these outfits!

Reasons why this was awesome:

Totally
unique way to get in shape, lose weight, and see spectacularly beautiful
countryside. Also several spiritual awakenings transpired and we inspired
a crop circle.

Details:

• It was like
spending two weeks on the Jungle Cruise. We barely saw a car for the entire
journey and the biggest problem we had was finding food.

• Our narrowboat,
the "Caen Hill Lock" was 70ft long, but less than 7ft. wide.

• The Kennet &
Avon canal opened in 1810, and aside from a couple of modern electric car
bridges, the original technology is still in place.

Margie and Matthew
(Photobomb by Jenya)

• So we spent a
considerable amount of time every day guiding our 12 ton narrowboat through 88
locks (44 X2), using a long wrench called a “windlass” and pa-lenty of muscle.

• Our first
sidetrip was to Avebury, the largest stone circle in Europe. 3 of us cabbed
there, and 3 of us walked 8 miles along the Neolithic Ridgeway. Crop Circles -
real and faked - abounded. Avebury was spectacular, vast, and chock full of
Woo. Nearby Silbury Hill and West Kennet Long Barrow also provided some
adventures.

• The turnaround
point for our canal trip was Devizes. We parked the boat and cabbed it across
Wilshire and Somerset counties to Glastonbury. Adventure awaited us here too,
at the ruins of the cathedral, the Tor and the Chalice Well. We then returned
to Devizes and piloted our narrowboat back down 400 vertical feet, 44 locks and
40 miles back to our starting point of Aldermaston.

• After playing in
several crop circles we were inspired to design our own. We drew our boats
propellers and a doily squiggle around it, threw some salt around it and went
to bed. The next morning, in the field next to our boat - nothing. But two
counties away, our design (improved considerably) appeared.

• A working
vacation to be sure, but also an unbelievably FUN adventure with great friends.

The 2006 Altar: A Pirate Handfasting!

2006

Event: A Pirate Handfasting

Reason for this event: Well, it wasn’t OUR idea.

Reason why this was awesome:

It
was only the greatest wedding ever, thanks to all of our wacky friends - who we
worked like punch-presses.

Kimberly (video assistant) and Chris (still
photographer). Pic by Daev, who also ran the
video cameras.)

• Karen’s
sole direction to me was that she did not want to miss any baseball. Beyond
that she was game for anything I thought up.

• 150
celebrants were grogged, dined, danced and entertained for 1/3 of the cost of
an average wedding in this county.

• The Banquet
room - this same room - was set up as a wedding chapel with cheap
paper decorations. But at the last minute Matthew the Town Crier directed
everybody into the wildly decorated Lodge Room where the actual Handfasting
took place.

• Willow,
Karen, Tymn, Angel, C-Marc and I took weekly Swordplay practice with Mykey for
more than 4 months in preparation for the ceremony. (Actual rapiers were used.)

• Once you
see a wedding with swordfights, anything less is kinda dull.

• Our
honeymoon was supposed to be in New Orleans - which in March, 2006 was a
burned-out, looted, soggy Post-Katrina hellhole. (We went to Lake Tahoe
instead.)

The Center Nexus: Lego Sculpture with boombox
underneath.

• The ships
of Admiral Karen's 'fleet' were the "Uncle Charlie" and the
"Six-of-One". Captain General Angus piloted the
"Half-Dozen" and the "Molly Malone".

• Penelope
dutifully spent all afternoon toasting 150 pieces of bread and distributing
them to the confused celebrants, just so I could stand on a table and say
"A Toast!" and have everybody throw toast in the air.

• The first
of 5,000 emails went out during the 2005 World Series, and we wrote, rehearsed
and worked all through the Winter. The Ceremony happened on March 18th, 2006
(exactly half-a-year away from "Talk Like a Pirate Day), and we returned
from our honeymoon a week before the Baseball season began. Safe!

• Who
Proposed? Why it was Mama Jenya, who proposed to both Karen and I at Solaris in
2004.

• She said
“You two should get married, and it should be a Pirate Handfasting.” We looked at
each other, shrugged and replied “Okay - but you’re officiating!”

Top-down on the lego sculpture.

And
in the center of the room was the two themes that have been ever-present in my
life from my first glimmers of consciousness: Sculpting in Lego, and Music.

On
a card table I placed a new sculpture, and beneath the table was the boombox
with a 12 hour playlist of my all-time favorite songs.

So
that was the party part of the night: Potluck feast, good music, costumes (why
not?) and a host of interesting visuals. I have to say, it all worked
wonderfully.

The
Performance Party

Telling the tales......

But
that was only half of the evening. Or, should I say, half of every hour. At the
top of each hour, in the large, ornate Lodge Room I would read some of my
'greatest hits' from the Pantheacon Pagan Humor seminars and posts from the
blog. This was the part that was filmed.

At
the end of that segment the guests were released to the banquet room to rest
and recoup before we drug them all back at the top of the next hour.

Choosing
which stories to read was fairly straightforward. I had the analytics from the
blog to show which posts are the most popular, and Mark's DVDs to gauge which
Pcon stories got the biggest laughs.

Some of the crowd

The
fun was in grouping all of these pieces into 4 chapters of more-or-less equal
length, and then to write some 'connective tissue' to link the pieces of each
chapter together.

And
of course, once-a-writer-always-a-writer I had to wade deep into these 25,000
words and whittle them down to the 20,382 that I spoke that night. (Even your
oldest friends could always benefit from a little updating and trimming.)

Here
was the 'menu' from my Birthday Party:

No idea what I am going for here.

Bill of Fare

7pm - 7:45pm:

Triathlon

8pm - 8:45pm:

Tales from No-tell Motel

Hotel Arcata

Car Names

British Meals

9pm - 9:45pm:

The Lance Gunn Thing

Harbin

4 Mom Stories*

10pm - 10:45pm:

Las Vegas

Blackjack

Vasectomy

*Note
on the 4 Mom stories: #1 (flying through the air at Orange Hills restaurant) is
part of "10 Weirdest Meals" post, linked here through "British
Meals". #2 and #3 (Thanksgiving gravy and the Harlem Globetrotters) are
one post: The '4 Mom stories' link above will take you there. #4 (Judy and the
Renault) can be found HERE.

Admiral Karen introduces me.

I
am a bit amazed that my voice held out through all of that. I even sneaked in a
costume change before the 9pm chapter. I had a wonderful time reading all of
these before a crowd again. It was like introducing old friends to new
friends.

Breakdown
was fairly straightforward; all of the altars just got swept into their own
bins and the kitchen crew had only minimal clean up after the ongoing potluck.
The museum of my life disappeared almost instantaneously, which was a bit
unsettling.

Karen and I.

Special
thank yous to Rox for overseeing the set-up, party, kitchen and tear-down
crews. And Admiral Karen, of course, for being a steady rudder through this new
adventure.

Did
I have fun at my 50th birthday party? Well, of course! It was an epic exercise
all dedicated to me! EXTREME HUBRIS!!

But
I also had a blast creating all of the pieces of the evening. Depending on my
mood any particular day I would be working on the pictures of one of the '6's,
adding songs to the 12 hour playlist, designing the lego sculpture, sorting
through artifacts for one of the altars, or taking one of the stories out for
a training run.

The
DVD of the performance came out very good. All of the stories above are
included (over 2 1/2 hours!) and it can be YOURS for $20.00 - postage included.

1 comment:

I photographed a fundraising conference here recently. What a wonderful place for photos. I almost always hate being anywhere at 6am, but this breakfast event proved an exception. The manger and his staff from venues in Los Angeles were extremely professional.

Buy my DVD!

About Angus

angusmcmahan@gmail.com

(831) 431-0636

Angus is a carbon-based, bipedal, ape-descended life form who has evolved his thumb-laden hands into two specialties: Writing stuff, and whapping on things in a rhythmical manner.

The rest of his hairy arms are now good at swimming. His legs have been running and pedaling bicycles for decades. And his enormous cranium seems to be engaged mostly in getting sunburned, playing video games, and yelling at the Giants on his TV.