New York blends the gift of privacy with the excitement of participation. Here is New York, E.B.White, 1949 [Taschen, "365 Day-by-Day New York Calendar"]

Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?

I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by their side. I understand feminism and female empowerment. I’m in and I am against the patriarchy and the idea that women belong only in the kitchen (unless that’s where she wants to be), but I’ve noticed women are confused as to who they want to be with now. From my observation, and I really hope I’m wrong, some women (I hope it’s only some) are looking for…a “girlfriend” in their partner.

What does that mean? They do all the stuff with their partner that they used to do with a girlfriend. I was part of a Facebook group for women (I had to leave that group) and one of the ladies posted a photo of her husband doing her pedicure. I was shocked, but I was even more shocked (and terrified) that other women (almost all of them) were envious of it. My question is: ladies, do you really want your guy to do your nails? Why? There are salons out there, with people who do that professionally. I would be happier if my guy gave me money to do that. If it’s a fetish and it turnsyour guy on, go for it. But if it’s just something you want him to do….I just don’t get it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for men showing their feminine side. They shouldn’t only be full of testosterone and masculinity. Men are constantly being told that they have to be “tough” (guys, you don’t have to be) andthat’s wrong, but don’t express it by doing a pedicure. I’m really curious what men think about this. The men I know (let’s put aside my gay guys) would not do it. I asked a few of them and they’re terrified (I felt relieved by this).

I’m trying to understand it – what is it, is it building intimacy? How? I understand a massage (of every part of the body), touching, undressing, but I can’t wrap my head around this.

It’s like I never could understand why women take their guys shopping. Then I see those guys half dead sitting on a couch (I guess it’s a special couch for unhappy men) praying for this nightmare to end. Not to mention when a woman gives her bag to her guy to carry and then he’s following her around like a shadow with her sparkling bag in his hand. Dude, please, I beg you, put it down. Don’t do it. If she can’t carry it, maybe she shouldn’t have taken it with her in the first place.

I see a lot of couples now in which the guy is dominated by the woman. I’m all for women power and I am a strong woman myself (yes, I’m aware of that), but I would never want to dominate my man. If I dominated him, it would mean he shouldn’t be my partner. Period. I had this conversation with one of my customers recently. He said to me, after a few minutes of observations: “Did you notice that those guys are more feminine than their ladies?” And I wanted to disagree, but I couldn’t.

Women have their voice – and that’s great! I will be always rooting for that. But suddenly it seems that guys have lost theirs. What happened? Doing your woman’s nails or carrying her bag doesn’t make you a great partner. Guys, you don’t have to do those things to make your lady happy or more feminine. Believe me, there are other ways (starting in the bedroom) to prove to your woman that you are the man that she wants. Please guys, find your voice, because I don’t want to live in a world where men become girlfriends. We have our gays for that. And I ask you, ladies, get your shit together and let your man be a man. And find yourself a girlfriend.