We'll, it's not easy to describe without going into a complex, intricate
and convoluted ideological dissertation without the aid of lots of alcohol
and mind altering substances. So we'll try to put it into a nutshell, or
beer-cap, if you please. Actually, "Technopagnan-Presbypartianism" is best
described if we discuss The history of it all.

First of all, we aren't pagans who practice our religion with the help
of the internet even though there are people who do so, but we pre-date
them by a number of years.

Second, we are somewhat 'discordian' in certain aspects, at least intellectually
speaking. Third, intellectually speaking, we tend to believe, but not all
the time, that enlightenment can come from chaos because contemplating
the chaotic frees one's mind of certain intellect inhibiting bad habits.
The ability to free one's mind, embrace chaos and derive enlightenment
from it is best accomplished with certain tools at hand, such as a six-pack
or two of fine beer close at hand. We firmly believe that mankind's best
moments of inspiration came as the results of consuming vast quantities
of beer. Just kidding, but the beer does make swallowing the whole concept
of Technopaganism a whole lot easier .

Fourth, well, uh, I seem to have forgotten what the forth point is so
let me get another beer from the fridge and think about it for a while.
I'm sure it will come to me in a while. Be right back.

OK, I'm back. Now where was I going with this. Since I forgot the fourth
point, and I haven't yet completely consumed my next beer yet, I'll move
on to another subject.

The Founding of the "Holy Technopagan-Presbypartian Church, Holy Synod
of Drunken Fools and Jesters"

While drinking vast quantities of beer in a remote and wilderness part
of the holy land of New Jersey (known as the 'Long, Skinny Park), way back
in 1986, hence forth to be know as the year 0 TE (Technopagan Era) we pondered
the meaning of life, the universe, existentialism, etc. etc., etc., and
we came to the profound conclusion that life is meaningless and everything
we do is useless. Everybody dies and nobody's happy. Then we concluded
that there must be something more to it than this. We concluded that the
ultimate meaning of life is Beer, because, as to paraphrase Ben Franklin,
God invented beer because he loves his creations. Then we also concluded
that since there was nothing left to do but to alleviate this existential
angst we concluded that another purpose of life must be to have as much
fun as possible and have as many good laughs as possible, preferably at
the expense of others.

This, in turn, lead to the creation of the term "TechnoPaganism". While
viewing an ancient Egyptian stele that depicts Egyptian Noblemen bringing
gifts of beer to the Pharoah and noticing that it was the "priests" who
engineered the great works of ancient Egypt, we concluded that in ancient
pagan societies, the religious leaders (priests, etc.) Were also the engineers.
The final conclusion was that religion is just a primitive attempt at technology
(i.e.: praying to deities for rain, etc., in order to produce rain, etc.).
Then came the great defining moment: Technology + Paganism = Technopaganism!

Future babbling to be added to the Techopagan-Presbypartian
Analects in the near future.

The holy miracles of fermanetation

The twelve labors of beer

The Holy Trinity of Malt, Hops and Yeast

The Technopagan Saints

This page written, somewhere far from New Jersey, and thankfully so:

November 24, 2002 AD,

Year 16 of the Technopagan Era

Prickle-Prickle, day 36 of The Aftermath, YOLD: 3168 (impecuniosity)

161:03:00 (1), Erisian Time

Set forth by the hand of St. Flatus Ignitis, Pope and Grand Invisible
Poobah of the Holy Technopagan-Presbypartian Church, Holy Synod of Drunken
Fools and Jesters, subject to arbitrary editing as seen fit, under advisement
of St. Caligula Califonicus of the Technopagan-Presbypartian Cabal.