Monday, June 29, 2015

Just for funsies, I started a new job. Catering to the whims of a 5 month old who hates sleep isn't very intellectually stimulating, so when one of my former coworkers started part time work and recommended his company, I figured I'd give it a try. The hours are incredibly flexible and the company is super understanding of my situation, but how does anyone ever work from home? It's so very distracting to have a little person who might need you at any moment! Luckily, my mom has stepped in and helped when possible, so I can go in another room and focus on what needs to be done. It's fun so far, and nice to keep my skills sharp.

I also got out on my bike last week! My dad had a midweek day off so he and my mom came to visit. He is a big time cyclist. We went for a short ride while my mom watched D. Clipping in to pedals for the first time in almost 2 years was terrifying. I miraculously didn't fall! The miles were slow and my butt hurt like crazy, but it was really fun. I would like to ride occasionally, strengthen some other muscles, and make use of our fancy bikes that sat unused last year.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

One year ago we were just finding out I was pregnant. Suddenly, the waiting and the struggles turned into promise.

Nick and I were at Firefly Music Festival, camping out with thousands of rowdy teenagers. With every weed-tinged breath, my thoughts went to the tiny speck of life I now had growing in me. I was pregnant. The weight of that hit me. The responsibility I had for my tiny embryo was made especially real when I looked at the youngins around us. I was pregnant. I wasn't blissful, I was fearful and already protective of the potential little human we'd started. I was pregnant. I lay awake in the wee hours, cursing the carousers stumbling by our tent, Cursing my already crowded bladder, dreaming of the future. I had no idea what the next weeks and months would hold, how proudly I would watch my belly grow and how powerfully and beautifully you would enter the world.

I was pregnant with you, my beautiful boy. You are now nestled beside me in bed and I can take a moment to enjoy the wonder that is you, and marvel at how you've transformed our lives in the last year.

I recently found out that one of my close friends from high school is pregnant. It's hard to be 100% positive about new parenthood, but I was so, so happy for her to get to experience all of this.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Subtitle: My brain is broken
Subtitle 2: Parenthood problems
Subtitle 3: If your baby sleeps through the night, please tell me all your secrets so I can ignore you while I fantasize about shaving off your eyebrows and then putting them in the perfect bubble bath you probably take by your perfect self after you put your perfect baby in his perfect bed and close the perfect door.

I spend a lot of time bouncing on an exercise ball. Like, my core strength is off the charts. Lots of time. So much. During these bouncing sessions, I often brainstorm blog posts. It's important to have an outlet. Unfortunately, because Sir Fussypants, First of his name, of House Ourlastname, needs white noise for sleep (and I'm cheap so hush yourself about highly-reviewed white noise machines, I'll be over here with my free app), these ideas get stored poorly in my fuzzy head while my phone is monopolized by the white noise. Some of the ideas are lost forever, but others are remembered semi-formed for me to try and decode the next day.Here are some examples.

- "Breastfeeding is my Crossfit"
Get it, because it's something I feel passionately about, and Crossfitters are notoriously enthusiastic about their sport? I think this idea actually has promise, but I have yet to craft it because every time I start, I get douche chills. I need to consult with middle of the night Me (MOTNM) to figure out a tasteful, funny way to do this.

- "Types of parents I hate"
This has been done by everyone on the internet, ever. MOTNM has no originality.

- "Old bald men that resemble my baby"
This one also has potential, because come on, this face begs for a meme,

but it's also kinda mean so I'll hold off on it.

- "Here's my know-it-all parenting advice"

MOTNM decided she has her act together enough to share her secrets with the world. That is a blatant lie I tell myself to convince myself things are actually going very well.

- "Dear God please tell me how to fix my baby"

More honest. Probably too honest. The world doesn't need all these emotions.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

This month was about your digestive tract, putting things in your mouth, squawking, and the elusive back-to-tummy rollover. You'd roll onto your side almost immediately after being put on your back. And then you'd stay there. So comfy, why move?

I'll just be here, trying to fit both thumbs in my mouth simultaneously.

You are a big kid. Almost 16 lbs at your 3 month checkup. That puts you in the 90th percentile for weight, but you're only in the 25th for height. Short, chubby perfection. You have been trying to put those legs to use, too. Your favorite position is standing up, supported by one of us. It's pretty tiring on the adult's arms, but it makes you happy. You are growing into such a strong little guy. You're not a huge fan of sitting, but you'll try for a little while. You are definitely developing core muscles because if you're tilted slightly back, you can pull your upper body upright. It's amazing!

Must I be naked on the Internet again, Mom? (from 3 month checkup)

Wee air traffic controller.

You went to your first pro sports game this month. We went to a Saturday afternoon O's game with some work people. It was... not good. You're pretty sensitive and the atmosphere was overwhelming. We stayed for a few minutes, checked out the nursing room (not pretty, but it gets you onto the Club Level in the A/C and from there you pretty much have it made). It was a really hard day. but we tried.

You also got to meet one of my aunts! She loves you. She also shared the wisdom that her daughter was very fussy for the first 3-4 months and now she's a 'lovely woman" so there's hope for you yet!

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Since I'm not really training for anything, my runs have been all over the p[lace. I mostly just set out to do 4-7 miles at a comfortable pace. That pace is dictated by how well I slept the night before, the weather, whether Mercury is retrograde (it is right now! Don't worry, I know astrology is dumb2). It's really, really random. So yesterday, I thought I'd actually aim for specific paces and try and hit them. I wanted to do a progression run, starting on the slow side and speeding up each mile. I really, really tried to make my first mile my slowest but... it was 8:27. I pretty much do this every run lately, so I told myself I'd just try and slow down the next mile. And it was 8:22. Yeah, that's the wrong direction.

At this point I said, screw it, maybe make it a tempo run? Except tempo runs should have warm-up/cool down miles, and my tempo should be a bit faster than that. Whatever. Finished 3 more miles in 8:32, 8:30, and 8:23. At least I was pretty consistent?

When I was running all the time, my internal speedometer was pretty well calibrated. I'd have the off day when I'd be surprised by a fast mile, or drag ass and not be able to hit a prescribed pace, but for the most part I could dial in. I also was better at controlling myself (i.e., not having a surprise sub-9 first mile if it wasn't my intention). I guess that's what happens when you don't run for the better part of a year.

Gratuitous baby picture for the folks that just come around for that sort of thing:

Little Man struggling to stay awake in my new wrap (baby carrier). I'm pretty partial, but he is just the cutest baby forever and ever. Amen.