Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Green Hornet – Chapter 6: Highways of Peril

OUR STORY SO FAR: Britt Reid (Gordon Jones) trails the theft
of his own car to the Meadows Garage.
Axford (Wade Boteler) follows one of Meadows’ mechanics to a junkyard,
where he and Reid narrowly escape death when the racketeers discover who they
are. Meadows (Clyde Dilson), realizing Reid is hot on the trail of his stolen car, orders
it destroyed with a time bomb. Before
the bomb explodes, The Green Hornet confronts Meadows and terrifies him into a
confession. The racketeers discover and
attack the Hornet. Kato (Keye Luke) helps
The Hornet knock out Meadows and overcome the racketeers, but…

…also helps his boss put the unconscious body of Meadows
into the same vehicle that contains the time bomb. While we certainly don’t need to listen to a
physics lecture as to what results when you stash someone in a car rigged to
explode…

…I’d like to know how an explosion like that yields no other
collateral damage than sending Reid and henchman Pete (John Kelly) to the floor
on their respective fannies. Okay, it
does render Kato slightly unconscious…but someone in the bad guys’ organization
needs to start ordering a better make of time bomb.

The explosion attracts the attention of a pair of uniformed
cops in the vicinity, so they go racing to the garage to investigate…just about
the time The Hornet has gotten to his feet to see if Kato is all right. The cops have the siren going full blast, but
the funny thing is G.H. doesn’t react to the siren until about 10-12 seconds
after it starts blaring. (Maybe he still
had that ringing in his ears.) He places
the still-unconscious Kato in the trunk of the one car left standing and then
ducks out of sight when the cops arrive.

FIRST COP: This is the place, all
right…

SECOND COP: Look! There was someone in this car…

FIRST COP (after looking around a
bit, he finds a license plate on the ground): Say! This is Britt
Reid’s car…that was reported stolen!

SECOND COP: I wonder if there’s a
phone in this place…there must be one in that office over there… (First Cop
runs toward the office) You call headquarters!

“If the phone on the desk doesn’t work, try the one hidden
behind the calendar on that wall over there.”
Well, while the constabulary is figuring out how to handle this
“something big,” henchman Pete once again practices those patented self-preservation
skills that have allowed him to stick around for six chapters by…yes, you
guessed it—running like a freaking rabbit.
Unfortunately, the car’s he’s stolen is the one with Kato in the trunk,
so after the cops fire a few rounds at the fleeing vehicle the Hornet rushes
out to where the Black Beauty is parked and starts to pursue Pete with that
annoying bee buzzing noise coming from his motor. (I’m surprised he can operate the thing,
given that Kato usually does the driving.)
First Cop tells his partner: “Get after that car! I’ll take care of things around here!”

The Hornet finally catches up to Pete and cuts his vehicle off
from going any further down-the-street maneuvering, so Pete abandons the car
and runs like panty hose, hoping G.H. won’t catch up to him.No, the Hornet has other things on his mind:
he opens the trunk of the car to collect Kato, and then as the sirens continue
in the distance, he puts his valet in the Black Beauty and escapes from the
police in the nick of time.“He’s gone,”
one cop observes, “like a spook.I never
seen a car move so fast!”

Here’s how fast that car can move: there’s a shot of it
traveling down another street, and then before a dissolve to a scene of Reid
administering to Kato, we see it again—almost like an “echo” effect.

KATO (coming to): You all right,
Mr. Britt?

REID (smiling): Fit as a fiddle,
Kato…how about you?

KATO: I do not think I’m going to
join my ancestors just yet, Mr. Britt…

REID: Oh, you’ll be all right…

Yeah…walk it off, ya crybaby. The next morning, several members of Rackets
R Us have gathered together in the office of Curtis Monroe (Cy Kendall), the
nominal head of the crime syndicate that plagues this fair city…though even he has to answer to a mysterious boss
known only as…The Chief.

MONROE: You’ve been called here to receive a message of special
importance from The Chief himself… (Switching on the intercom) We’re ready to
hear you, sir…

CHIEF: As a result of The Green
Hornet’s operations, our stolen car organization is smashed…fortunately for us, Meadows won’t ever talk…

Not unless somebody breaks out the Ouija board.

CHIEF: …the toll taken by The Green
Hornet is mounting…his interference in our affairs has cost us hundreds of
thousands…he must be removed without
delay…as an incentive toward this end, I’ve authorized Monroe to pay one hundred thousand dollars to the man
who puts an end to The Green Hornet’s career…

Switching off the intercom, Monroe
dismisses the attendees with a curt “That’s all, gentlemen…” As the men start to leave, the weaselly thug
(Arthur Loft) known as Joe Ogden addresses Monroe:

OGDEN: Why wasn’t Rockford at this meeting?

Please note I have resisted the temptation to make a James
Garner joke here.

MONROE: He was busy moving the headquarters of the Blue Streak Bus
Lines out to the old Mortinson place…

OGDEN: Oh, I see—getting ready to give the Whippet Line buses the
works, huh?

MONROE: That’s the reason he moved out there…it’s near their
repair garage…

“The Mortinson place” was introduced in Chapter 1 of this
serial as the stately home of crooked Martin Mortinson (Douglas Evans), one of
the first members of the syndicate to be rounded up by His Hornetness. One might posit that it would be a bad idea
to relocate a criminal enterprise in the former location of another criminal
enterprise…but when one is dealing with the shoestring budget of a cliffhanger
serial, these concerns quickly dissipate like dandelions in a stiff wind. At the new home of the Blue Streak Bus Line,
owner Rocky Rockford (must…not…make…Rockford
Files…joke) is giving
instructions to the All-American hoodlum duo of Dean (Walter McGrail) and Corey
(Gene Rizzi). Rocky is not played by
Noah Beery, Jr. in this serial, but by veteran character thesp George Lloyd,
who was in tons of B-pics and westerns…but occasionally got work in “A” films
like A Slight Case of Murder and City for Conquest (he was also billed
as “George H. Lloyd”):

ROCKFORD: …now the Whippet Bus Lines franchise is up for renewal at
the end of the month…

DEAN: And if it shouldn’t be renewed?

ROCKFORD: The Blue Streak Bus Lines would have no competition, Dean…

DEAN: I get ya, Rocky…

ROCKFORD: Now…if you two could get jobs as mechanics in the Whippet
garage…

COREY: It’s in the bag, boss…

“I’m sleeping with someone in H.R.”

COREY: Something tells me from now
on the Whippet service is going to be terrible…

DEAN: Mm-hmm…so long!

ROCKFORD: See ya later!

We are then whisked to the offices of The Daily Sentinel, where publisher Britt Reid has just
arrived to do his nine-to-five. He’s
stopped from entering his office by his loyal secretary, Lenore “Casey” Case
(Anne Nagel), who informs him that editor Gunnigan (Joe Whitehead) wants to see
him, and that’s he’s bringing a guest—the president of the Whippet Bus Lines
company, Mr. West. “Send him right up,”
Reid tells Casey.

If you think this “West” guy looks like a banker out in Beverly
Hills…you are correct, good people. It’s Raymond “Milton Drysdale” Bailey in a
small role with a large concern about the future of his company.

WEST: After twelve years, the
Whippet Bus Lines has maintained an enviable record of service and safety…

“Or perhaps you need a new ad campaign. My suggestion for a slogan: Whippet Good…”

WEST: That’s not it…I believe the
Blue Streak Bus Lines want us to lose our franchise so they won’t have any
competition…

REID: Surely you can’t blame them
for accidents to your lines…the Blue Streak company is an old established firm,
too…

WEST: Now it may only be a coincidence…but
the fact remains, our trouble dates from the time the Blue Streak company changed managements six months ago…

“You’re right…it probably is a coincidence. Good day,
Mr. West.”

REID: What do you want me to do?

WEST: I’d like to see The Sentinel do something about
the matter…

REID: Sorry, Mr. West…The Sentinel has never interfered with squabbles between
competitors…

WEST (getting up from his chair):
I’m sorry you feel that way about it, Mr. Reid…

As West as exiting Reid’s office, he runs into the lovably
comic Irish sidekick of the serial, Michael Axford, who does an amusing stagger
as he tries to avoid colliding with the departing (and angry) West.

AXFORD: Reid…I’ve just made an important discovery…

REID: Don’t tell me you’ve solved
perpetual motion!

AXFORD: Yes, sir! And I… (Collecting his thoughts) No…no…it’s
about the old Mortinson place out on the Westwood Pike…

REID: Is it haunted?

AXFORD: It’s open again…and it’s bein’ used as headquarters by the Blue Streak
Bus Lines…

REID: Well…so what?

AXFORD: Well…now…it was used by
crooks once…maybe another set of
crooks is usin’ it again!

This is kind of what I said several paragraphs ago. Reid tells Axford he has a terrific
imagination, though one wishes the writers had equally as terrific. “Don’t it look suspicious to you, sir?” asks
Michael of his boss.

REID: No, it does not…

GUNNIGAN: Britt…West suspects the
Blue Streak company of sabotage…I
think it would be a pretty good idea to have Lowery go down and check up on the
situation…

REID: All right, all right…put
Lowery on the story…and if it’ll make you any happier, I’ll take some bus rides myself…

Two curious things about Gunnigan’s suggestion. One, he failed to mention that there might be
a circulation boost resulting from the story, as his usual wont. Two, he mentions a reporter named “Lowery,”
who is no doubt Ed Lowery, another crack reporter at the paper. When I first started watching The Green Hornet, I thought the character of “Jasper Jenks” (played by Philip Trent) was
someone they made up for the serial but after doing a little research I learned
that the character was featured back in the early days of the radio program…and
since I don’t think I’ve heard too many of the early broadcasts (pre-1939) I’m
more familiar with Lowery…who becomes the paper’s ace muckraker (played by Eddie Acuff) in the second
Hornet serial, The Green Hornet Strikes Again!

At the Whippet Bus Lines repair garage, Dean and Corey are
hard at work throwing monkey wrenches into the bus service’s operations…but
curiously, Corey is concerned about the possibility that some people could get
hurt, which is a touching sentiment considering he’s a greasy two-bit hood.

DEAN (sliding out from under a
bus): There…that ought to fix it…she gets rolling down a grade…

COREY (putting the tools away and
getting to his feet): Hey…you sure this bus is going to the terminal empty…the
boss said there was to be no accidents to people…

DEAN: Don’t worry, it’ll be empty…I
checked with the dispatcher…

Dean and Corey then walk over to the front of the bus, where
a bored driver named Bud (Charles Sherlock) has apparently been seated the
entire time, window down…and yet he did not hear any of the “mechanics”
conversation.

DEAN: Okay…sixteen’s ready to roll…

COREY: Where are you going?

BUD: Suburban terminal…empty…

(Bud signs off on some paperwork
handed to him by Dean, and just as he’s getting ready to pull out a dispatcher
walks up to the bus)

DISPATCHER: New orders, Bud…

BUD: More trouble?

DISPATCHER: Fifty-seven’s broke
down, near Cloverhill grade…you’ll have to pick up his load…

BUD: Right!

Cue the sad trombone!
Dean and Corey exchange “Eh…whaddya gonna do?” looks with one another,
and as Bus #16 pulls out of the garage the scene shifts to the unfortunate
passengers biding their time in and outside of the bus while the driver (Jack
Donovan) looks under the hood. One of
the passengers just happens to be our hero.

The conversation between Reid and the driver is interrupted
by the arrival of Bud and Bus #16, and the waiting passengers are soon hustled
onto the new bus, getting apologies for the delay in the bargain. As the trip continues, Reid notices that the
driver is taking some of the mountain roads a little too sharp:

REID: You’re going pretty fast down
the grade…

BUD: Don’t tell the passengers, Mr.
Reid…but my brakes are gone!

“I probably shouldn’t have drunk all that cough medicine
before getting behind the wheel either…”

REID: What can you do?

BUD: I can handle the grade but I’m
worried about the bridge at the bottom…

REID: The one that’s being
repaired?

BUD: Yeah…there’s a bad dip in the
detour…and at this speed, we’re liable to tip over…

Speaking of Speed—why
don’t you just jump the bridge like they did in that movie? Look, Bud’s a decent enough guy but if it
weren’t for the fact that Britt Reid is on that bus, there’d be a headline in
tomorrow’s Sentinel screaming
“Multiple Fatalities in Fiery Bus Crash!”
The bus crashes through a barrier (after a construction guy futilely
tries to wave the out-of-control vehicle off) and by grabbing the wheel, Reid
steers the bus right into a storage depot, where the stacked sacks of powdered
cement bring the bus to a halt.

I like how the first two people get off the bus as if
there’s nothing at all unusual about slamming into in a shed. (“It is dashed inconvenient, but we did reach
our destination on time.”) I’d like to
think most of those people on the bus wouldn’t ever take that kind of
transportation again unless guns were held to their heads.

REID (getting off the bus): When
did you first feel your brakes start to go?

BUD: Well, they started to slow
down on the downgrade…

REID: How long has it been since
they’ve been inspected?

BUD: This bus just came out of the
shop less than an hour ago…

REID: Well, let’s take a look at
the brake rods…

Examining the brake rods, Reid sees clearly that they were
nearly sliced in two by a hacksaw…it was no accident. Then Bud spots another bus in the distance,
loading up his ill-fated passengers:

BUD: How do you like that?

REID: I don’t get it…

BUD: Every time a Whippet Bus
breaks down there’s always a Blue
Streak on the job to take over our passengers…

Back at Reid’s office, Mr. Drys…er, West is seated in a chair
when Casey comes in…

CASEY: Mr. Reid just came in, Mr.
West…I’m sorry you had to wait…

WEST: That’s quite all right, Miss
Case…

CASEY: I guess he was delayed
getting into town…

“…on your Bus of Death.” After hanging up his hat and seating himself at
his desk, Britt Reid is convinced there may be something to West’s story.

REID: The last time we talked, you
hinted the Blue Streak people were trying to cripple Whippet Lines…

WEST: I’m convinced of it…

REID: Have you any proof?

WEST: No…I haven’t…all I know is
our buses have experienced a large number of breakdowns lately which look like sabotage…

REID: But you have no tangible
evidence!

WEST: That’s what worries me…this
is a case even the police can’t
touch…

This sounds like a job for…you-know-who.

REID: What do you figure these
breakdowns have cost you?

WEST: I can’t estimate what it’s
cost our reputation…but I should say
our repairs have run about $12,000 over normal…

Thanking West for his help, Reid assures him that The Sentinel is “going to look
into the bus transportation business thoroughly.” (Translation: there’s a certain noisy
automobile that will be out for a prowl later on this evening.) Casey then comes into Reid’s office.

REID: Will you tell Axford I’m
ready to go home?

CASEY: He went out just about the
time you came in…

REID: Where did he go?

CASEY: I don’t know…he just said he
had a hunch and he was going to follow it…

REID: Well…two to one it’ll lead
him into trouble…

Wait for it…

ROCKFORD: What goes on?

PETE: This bird was trying to get
into the window downstairs, Rocky…

ROCKFORD: Burglar, hah?

ANDY: Nah…he’s Mike Axford, a
reporter for The Sentinel…

ROCKFORD: Oh…a reporter,
huh? Well, in that case…take off his
gag, boys… (Pete removes the gag from Axford’s mouth) You didn’t have to break
in here, Mr. Axford—we’re always
willing to talk to the press…what was it you wanted to find out?

AXFORD: I wanted to see with me own
eyes what kind of deviltry was bein’ cooked up in this crooked house!

ROCKFORD: Deviltry? Why, I
don’t know what you mean?!!

AXFORD: Oh, yes you do…me and The Sentinel’s got enough on you to send you to the pen for
life!

ROCKFORD: Oh, you have? That’s different…
(To Andy and Pete, as he throws them some rope) Here…tie ‘em up…

“Heh…well, you’re bein’ a bit hasty, me boyo…our case is so
thin a smart defense attorney would have no trouble at all gettin’ you off…heh
heh…” Pete and Andy the Thug (Ralph
Dunn) start trussing Axford up like a prized steer.

Even though Andrew T. Thug has securely fastened Michael to
a chair (with Rockford muttering
“We’ll take care of this snooper later”), it’s important that the three of them
conduct a downstairs check because what happens next surely belongs on a list
of “Great Movie Coincidences.” Back at
his apartment, Britt Reid is wringing his hands because while he knows the Blue
Streak matter is “definitely a case for the Hornet,” he doesn’t know where to
begin with collecting evidence.

“Why not call the offices of the Blue Streak Line, Mr.
Britt,” suggests Kato helpfully. “If no
one is there, you might pay them a visit…”

Solid advice, you inscrutable houseboy. Picking up the phone (and apparently not
having to look up the bus company’s number), Reid dials the Blue Streak
business as the scene shifts to the sympathetic idiot Axford, struggling to get
free. When the phone starts ringing, a
look of relief comes across his face as he tries to work his chair over to the
phone…

…and as you can see in these screen caps, Boteler’s stunt
man ends up falling on the ground for him.
(Too obvious.) But the real
Axford grabs the phone cord with his teeth and pulls it off the desk, where it
lands beside him with the receiver off the hook:

AXFORD (into the receiver):
Hello…who is it?

REID (on the other end): This is
Britt Reid of The Sentinel…

AXFORD: Glory be! This is Michael Axford…

REID: Who?

Wonderful laugh-out-loud moment. I was picturing Reid on the other end, saying
to himself: “Jeebus, that idiot has got himself into trouble again…I’ll use the
old ‘bad connection’ bit on him…”

ROCKFORD: So you thought you’d pull a fast one…what was you sayin’
on that phone?

AXFORD: Nothin’ but ‘hello’…you heard me!

Cut to brief insert of the Black Beauty racing through the
canyon.

ROCKFORD: I don’t know whether that was a phony call or not…we’d
better not take any chances…better get rid of this mug…

Pete tells “Rocky” that he and Andy will go down to the
garage and make the arrangements while Rockford
continues to try and sweat information out of Axford. When you’re driving a bodacious automobile
that can go 200 mph, however, it’s only going to be seconds before your
arrival…and the Hornet arrives just in time, since Rockford
was working over Axford good.

ROCKFORD: For the last time—are you gonna tell me what Reid sent you
up here to find out?

AXFORD: I’m tellin’ you nothin’, Rockford…

HORNET: Get away from that
man! I said get away from him!

ROCKFORD: You…you’re the Green
Hornet!

The Hornet must have run out of those business cards he used
in the earlier chapters…or maybe they haven’t come back from the printers yet.

HORNET: Exactly! Why have you got this man tied up?

AXFORD: Why…uh…who, me?

HORNET: Never mind…I’ll release
you, and you beat it!

The Hornet reaches over to untie Michael…who repays G.H.’s
act of charity by kicking him in the abdomen with both feet, sending him to the
floor. As a sprightly Flight of the Bumblebee kicks up on the
soundtrack, Rockford and the
Hornet’s stuntman engage in a lively donnybrook that includes a Republic
Studios-inspired balsa wood chair thrown at one point. While this rages on, Axford struggles to
loosen his bonds. When he manages to
wriggle free, he races over to a desk and grabs the Hornet’s gas gun, drawing
on both him and Rockford.

AXFORD: All right…stop your
fightin’, you two, and get up from there…’tis a happy day this night is…

But how can it be both day and night? Well, maybe I
should just let him enjoy his moment.

AXFORD: I’ve got you…and at last
I’ve got the Green Hornet where I
want him!

HORNET (moving toward him): Give me
that gun, you idiot…

AXFORD: Aye…don’t hold your breath
on it until I give it to ya…or maybe it would be just as well if you did!

ROCKFORD: Shall I tie him up?

AXFORD: No…get over there, you two,
where I can watch ya…I’ll have no connivin’ between you…c’mon, move!

HORNET: I suppose you’re going to
call the police…

AXFORD: That’s just what I’m going
to do!

Axford starts to yell “Hello?” into the receiver, and
getting no response, puts down the gas
gun to dial the number direct. I
will not describe for you how easily the Hornet picks up the gun, except only
to say that if Axford were my
bodyguard, I’d start sleeping with one eye open at all times.

HORNET: Drop that receiver! Now get out of here!

AXFORD (puzzled): Yes, sir… (He
slinks out of the room)

HORNET (turning to Rockford): Now I’ll deal with you and your racketeering bus line…

ROCKFORD: I run a
legitimate business! You’re the one that’s a racketeer!

HORNET: I know all about the sabotage you had done on the Whippet
buses…

ROCKFORD: You’re crazy! The
Blue Streak is an old established company!

HORNET: Don’t lie to me! I know your men cut the brake rods on a
Whippet bus today and nearly cost the lives of half-a-dozen people!

ROCKFORD: That was an empty bus that… (He stops, realizing his
screw-up)

Schmuck.

HORNET: Rockford, your methods are old-fashioned…I’ll
show you a much better way to really
put a bus line out of business!

ROCKFORD (pulling a cigar from his pocket): I get it…you want to cut
in with us…

HORNET: What do you think?

ROCKFORD: All right—what’s your price?

HORNET: $12,000 on the line and a
signed agreement for 25% of your take…

ROCKFORD: Okay—it’s a deal…I’ll write you out a check while you draw
up the agreement…

The Hornet then whips out his driver’s license to check to
see if he was born yesterday, and because he wasn’t he tells Rockford
he wants cash. Rockford
pleads that he doesn’t have that much scratch on hand, but the Hornet finally
gets him to admit that there’s plenty of dough in the safe, and so he goes to
collect it. Meanwhile, Axford has found
his way to a pay phone (no idea how that idiot managed to get past Andy and
Pete, by the way) and is telling the cops that the “Har-nut” is at the old
Mortinson place, and that they’d better bring “three squads” to capture him. Back in Rockford’s
office:

ROCKFORD (handing him a piece of paper): There’s your agreement,
Hornet…now let’s have a few of your ideas…

HORNET: Thanks, Rockford—that’s just the evidence I needed to smash your racket! Now I’m
turning you over to the police!

ROCKFORD: Why, you crook! You
said you was going to show me how to put a bus line out of business!

HORNET: I am…and it’s your bus line! This $12,000 will just pay the repair bills
on the Whippet buses!

Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes, Rocky. Of course, the chapter is nearly at an end so
the Hornet asks the mook the $64 question: “Who’s the head of all your
rackets?” Before Rockford
can spill the beans, Pete and Andy have arrived on the scene.

HORNET: Don’t use those guns! You’ll hit Rockford! And I’ll get you
both before you can fire again!

ROCKFORD (pleading): No…no…don’t shoot…

PETE: The Chief’s orders are to get
the Hornet regardless…too bad, Rocky…

ROCKFORD: Wait! Wait! Circle around—he can’t cover all three of us!

The Hornet signals Kato with his trademark whistle, and the
lights go out in the house. Pete yells
at Rockford to get down on the
floor just before Andy and he open fire, and as the Hornet makes his way to an
open window to escape it appears that he’s been hit…