Wednesday, December 29, 2010

In the midst of having to wrap some last-minute gifts, research on my father's travel case for smoketip ecigarettes queries, confirm RSVPs for my son's christening and pack for our stay at my in-laws, my system went down and it gave in to migraine.

For the record, I am not a headachey and gastric person. So, I am not used to headaches at all, least of all to migraines. But there it was, December 24, driving me insane with every light I see and sound I hear. And it pretty much came about from a lethal combination of sleepless nights, holiday stress and allergic rhinitis.

Come Friday night, I was already barfing. Everything. So I had to miss Christmas Mass with my family. And I could only really get up around 12 noon the following day.

I am still sniffling right now. Nasal drip is so bad, sigh. Good thing Yakee seems to have forgiven me already for the lousy Christmas day... and Yamee doesn't care just yet.

And here I thought saline solution is only used for gargling or flushing one's nose. Having been an allergic rhinitis sufferer, I have made saline solution my friend. In fact, my family each has his own bottle of Salinase. And unfortunately, we are all using them now, what with the weather and Christmas merry making/candy compromising our immune system and subjecting us to sniffles and sneezes. Sigh.

Cold weather, air conditioning, plane flights and even one's health can all dry up ones eyes. And it's really amazing that saline solution is the only thing one needs to make sure one's eyes are not irritated by contact lenses. Makes for longer contacts usage, for sure.

Plus, you don't want to end up like those commercials depicting a Mom feeding her dog by mistake due to poor eye sight and dry eyes, right? And with colored contacts all the rage for teens right now, at least one's violet eyes can stay on for hours longer.

Say it with me then, salt and water together creates magic! Or at least, healing.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Because we really cannot locate my gray Mamaway nursing top, I used that as justification to purchase new nursing tops. And I finally gave in to my desires and purchased another Infinitude... in peach blush this time. Plus, I bought an Aria nursing top (also from Eden). I so wanted a white one but they only had black in my size. Oh and I also bought myself their Poem Scarf, finally.

To date, I have officially spent some P15k on Eden Nursing Wear. And I can't wait for their new collections!!!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Well, since I am really bent on having us all wearing red on Christmas, I might as well have us wear them again on Valentine's Day 2011 for some photo opps. I do look great in red, if I may say so.

But when, oh, when do I shop for them?

I just hope shops will carry a lot of red polos for my hubby and son. And I hope I can find a red onesie for Yamee (and maybe a wee Santa hat). I already have red tops care of Corsierre and Eden so I just really need to shop for them.

When, oh, when do I shop?

*~*

On a related note, I wonder when Yakee will start making up things and initiating greetings for such special occasions? I can't wait to receive a Valentine on February, or get flowers again for Mother's Day.

I don't even know what model this unit is anymore. With the wedding expenses we had to pay for back in 2005, it was all I could afford. But I was bent on finally having a camera phone then. So, I bought this unit.

It was the same phone that I was using while getting made up for church, the one where my groom's messages about being nervous that day are still stored... to this day. Well, he did text that he's sure I'd be the most beautiful bride ever, too. Our only picture of him carrying me on the threshold of our hotel room was also taken by this phone.

And can you believe it, I still have this phone. It's served me well in the five years that I've had it. And for the most part, I didn't think I needed a new one.

Except now.

Now, I want a Nokia C7 but I can't afford it. I am a stay-at-home Mom who just gave birth to her second child. We have priorities to take care of first. But I really want a Nokia C7 because of so many reasons, possibly trivial to others, but are real and serious ones for me:

1) I need to embrace touch screen technology.

2) And have a phone that will allow me to maximize my postpaid plan. I'm addicted to Plurk and Facebook anyway.

Friday, December 17, 2010

This was taken last night at the EB for my blog friend, and Yakee's Ninang, at Malayan Plaza.

The other night, our family took my Mom to the bus station in Cubao and bought a vacuum cleaner. I guess you can say, I have been exposing my sons to all kinds of germs these days. We were literally out every day this week except today, and it's either from exhaustion or cabin fever that Yakee acted out earlier tonight and scratched and bit me. My right wrist is still swollen and tender from the bite. I should really rethink tetanus shots.

But anyway, I'm still glad to be out a lot. It's hard, with two kids in tow, but it also makes me feel human. I'm just having issues with my breastfeeding clothes because I've lost weight so some of them are riding lower in front and exposing me more, and one of them is missing (the one I intended for the baptism).

Can you appreciate how puffed my eyes are?

And yes, it seems like my wardrobe isn't changing. Well, I really have to wear nursing tops when am out with the kids and it just so happened that I have four black, three red, two gray (one of which was missing, the other being the Infinitude) and a striped purple one. Not much variety, I know :)

Which is why it drives me crazy that I can't find a seller of the green and lilac Corsierre. Haha.

I have yet to buy outfits for us this Christmas!!! But oh, when to do it!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

One of my dearest fantasies as a child was to become a mother and have my Mom take care of me and my son like what my grandma used to do for all her grandkids. She made a practice of staying with each family with a newborn. I don't know how long she stayed or if she was really hands on with each child but I at least had that impression. And thus, the fantasy.

Then, my parents migrated abroad before I got married. And even when my mom arrived a few weeks after I gave birth with my firstborn, she was really rather busy to stay put. She did wake us up so she can bond with my son but she'd immediately have to hand over Yakee because she had errands to do.

Now, she's back again and still busy. But she's also staying put more and has even taken it upon herself to teach Yakee table manners. And I can leave Yamee with her. She'd even sleep with Yamee on her chest. My father has even bottlefed Yamee my EBM and has made Yakee laugh with glee by giving him piggyback rides and playing basketball.

This morning, it filled me to overflowing to hear my mother's loud singing and humming to Yamee. My sons will never really enjoy my parents all the time but I am glad for these moments. Really thankful for these moments.

And somehow, all my old (and petty) resentments over their parenting are washed away... and/or forgiven.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

First of all, I am so glad that Mom bought us enough Calcium supplements to last for months. I am taking moringa capsules for calcium but my hubby prefers calcium supplements to moringa. And it's important we get enough calcium for our ageing bones. Plus, I am worried that the pregnancies and breastfeeding are depleting my calcium stores and are making my bones brittle. I am even now concerned about arthritis and Shoulder Bone Spur too.

Now, I can't wait to get a massage as well. My bones are just aching! Yakee has figured out I can start carrying him again. And he sometimes asks to be carried along with Yamee (by his Pappie, thank God, for I absolutely cannot accomplish that). Plus, Yamee really does not like being breastfed in the side-lying position. And breastfeeding counselor that I am, I don't really breastfeed sitting propped on a chair which means I don't provide ample support for my back. Thus, the back pain.

Am just glad that there are sites like TreatmentReport.com discussing treatment options like using ice, massage therapy, stretching and exercise. The site eveb allows patients to share their treatment history with others. And yes, walking is a treatment option too.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

That's how it feels like most of the time now. I have been stress eating on chocolates to keep me awake for my demanding infant but currently need not research on the best weight loss supplement because the lack of sleep is just keeping weight gain at bay.

Hubs and I just look at each other sometimes, hoping the other will care for the child and let us sleep. well, I give in most of the time since he can't exactly breastfeed.

And the holidays are just sooooo bad for my Yakee's temper because the changes in his routine exhaust him, and in turn, us.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

For what it's worth, people just have to credit me for raising a reader in my firstborn. But these days, I am just so tired at night to read long stories to him so when I saw these, I immediately bought them.

Yakee loves Curious George.

And these books teach about measurements and grouping and nature.

And they're pretty short but really interesting stories.

I have been resisting the purchase of Curious George compilations because I just know Yakee would try getting me to finish the book and not settle with just one story from the book.

Friday, December 10, 2010

We have already enjoyed UP-PGH's Faculty Medical Arts Building (FMAB) because my sons' pedia has been holding clinic there since October and that's where we take my newborn. In fact, we're going back there for his shots on Tuesday as well as for Yakee's primary complex consult.

I was even surprised and happy that a blogger event was held there yesterday to help create buzz about FMAB and how it not only houses the creme de la creme of Philippine medicine but also offers all the latest medical technology.

When I was searching for what FMAB stood for though (as I kept forgetting), I came across this article and felt a little bothered.

It's true. Because I can afford it, I like the idea of a clean, air-conditioned waiting area when I go or take my child for checkups. And as a mother, I LOVE the idea of not having to look very far should I need to seek a specialist for my child. You see, our pedia is a pedia-neonatologist and he will be sharing the pediatrics complex with a pediatric dentist, a developmental pedia, a pedia pulmo, etc. I'm sure you get the picture. That is such a great convenience, isn't it? And these are UP-PGH doctors which I really consider to be the best in the country by virtue of their training attending to UP-PGH patients. Plus, I bet they'd be all breastfeeding-friendly at least.

I can just gush and gush and gush.

However, I greatly respect Dr. Jose Gonzales because he was my late nephew's surgeon and is very well-respected by even Filipino doctors abroad. So he must have a clearer view of the bigger picture here. Me, I am only being selfish and thinking of what's convenient for me.

Then again, I had assumed, after seeing all that space for private clinics, that the privatization of the FMAB will help subsidize the operations of PGH. And I was willing to be a paying customer because I thought it would contribute to free medicines for others. Plus, at least doctors will be more available to those who NEED them while also being able to earn a living.

My pedia still charges his usual rate. I really hope the same will hold true for the other doctors holding clinic there and that the FMAB will not take away from PGH's earnings. I also can't think of how exactly but I also hope the FMAB will actually bring in more money to PGH.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Yakee's been diagnosed to have primary complex. We're still seeking a second opinion for it with his main pedia but it's not like primary complex isn't common in kids in the Philippines.

I told myself on the way home that I might need a good cry over it. Though curable, it still sucks to have a sick child. Plus, Yakee has to take antibiotics now for his bad cough (he already has phlegm and the cough's been around for over two weeks).

And I find myself resentful, upset, struggling and just plain angry about learning to care for two kids. Now, I really have to pump everyday just to make sure that there's something either Yakee or Yamee will drink, should they have a need for it.

And what's happened to my attempt to collect milk for donation? It got stuck at 8 ounces of frozen milk. Hehe.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

That was one thing we failed to do again for my last pregnancy: collect social security benefits pertaining to maternity. Before, I was enrolled with GSIS and they did not give maternity benefits to their members. SSS, however, does. I remember, a Mom who gave birth around the same time I did got P15,000 in maternity benefits.

We could have really used a similar sum this time, though I know a lot will depend on my employment status and the premiums I pay. Still, I haven't become an SSS self-employed member ever since I quit my government job. The most we did was have me declared as hubby's dependent in his Philhealth and TIN.

I wonder though if SSS offers disability benefits to its members. Maybe it isn't yet late for me and it's still wise to become a member.

Monday, December 6, 2010

I was browsing Artscow, basking in the delight of having just placed Photobooks I ordered, when I saw that there's a ABC category for the Photo Books. It seems mommies have made it a project to take pictures, or find pictures of their child with something starting with every letter of the alphabet and turned those into a photo book.

Brilliant eh?

I bet the kid will indeed be more enticed to learn his ABCs.

Now, am thinking of making one and just use both Yakee and Yamee's pics. Am sure it will amuse Yakee and well... Yamee will be confused enough to think it's all him. After all, they really look the same. Hehe.

At the Manila Doctors Bazaar, I bought matching necklace and earrings from Klasse Murae made from glass beads.

At the Noel Bazaar, I bought two necklaces made from shells and beads and three earrings to match. Yes, I am into fashion jewelry now, only I am limited by my funds, wardrobe and allergy to most metals. So, much as I really love some designs, I just dare not invite rashes. Plus, some accessories are quite expensive (which is why I am partly itching to go to Marinduque because the Moriones bazaar there has really cheap accessories vendors).

The same goes with bags. I just cannot get anything with studs and other metallic adornments. But my Mom gave me a nice, classy bag and now I really must get myself an Eden Poem Scarf. I'm just not buying a baby bag anymore!

Yes, I am into accessories now. But I have to temper all the purchases since Yamee will grow up and might start tugging and chewing my precious necklaces, so I just know, there'd come a time I'd have to forego the neck embellishments when I'm with him.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

My husband's birthday was a quiet one and I didn't even have a proper card for him. I just digiscrapped a page and that was it. He had to buy his own cake even.

And now, Christmas is looming and I have no proper gift to give again. I know I can always find inexpensive gifts online for men but I also know that he is lusting for specific gadgets, which are quite expensive.

I am thinking of buying him this Obsession perfume though that I read about that (big) cats are supposed to like.

I also haven't bought gifts for any niece or nephew just yet, except my Artscow projects for three nieces. I am leaning towards not buying anyone anything (to be fair) but I also know that I am the gift-giving kind. Sigh. Who knows how else I will be stressing myself and everyone else.

I have been on a rage for at least two days, and really emotional again for the past three.

So yeah, maybe my Mom being here is also a stressor, hehe.

Anyway, I have been in a mutinous silence all morning so hubs held my hand at lunch and told me SORRY. And I cried.

I cried because I do appreciate his efforts for wanting to make things better. And I also cried because I know he doesn't know how he's particularly contributed to my bad mood. But still, he was willing to either take the blame for everything that's not going right or acknowledge for me that he's sad too that everything's not going right. So maybe I should get him an xbox or iPad for Christmas, just to make up for all my crabbiness.

And does it really help when I try not to be too hard on myself? Sometimes, when I remind myself that I don't have to make sense since I have just given birth, it sounds like I am just rationalizing.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

This is me now, slightly Photoshopped to lighten the bags under my eyes. But aren't my girls nice? hehe.

And isn't my smile radiant?

Anyway, I am posting this to remind me to be vigilant about my looks and to keep my promise that I will work on being fab and healthy. I am 165 lbs. now and don't have the voracious appetite of my pregnancy days anymore. My parents just arrived from the US, laden with chocolates, and I curb all my sweet tooth as much as I can. I also try to limit my rice now and ignore hunger pangs while I wait for morning to come when my infant is being well... an infant.

But my Mom is bent on cooking for me. Today she cooked crabs and kangkong in gata and it was really, really delicious. I guess I should pump more milk, despite the freezing issues, if only to burn more calories.

But anyway, the point is... as of this moment, I am still on my way to fab :D

*~*

Also got 3 sets of eye shadows... and I only have to eyes, and we're talking 28 different shades. Haha.

Currently at wits' end attending to two sons, one of whom is an infant and the other is a feverish preschooler (who just also showered his play dough set with Yakult, arggh). Where is hubby in all these? Sleeping.

I let him sleep early to stave off a migraine. He was awake at 6 AM and let me catch some sleep for a while this morning so I owe him. Plus, he also wakes up when our infant cries. Soon, I may be getting him some wrinkle cream from www.wrinklecreamformen.org just so he won't look older than his years.

But Readers' Digest did say that involved, caring people decrease their chances of getting heart attacks so I guess there is an upside to all this exhaustion. Plus, it's not like caring for our sons doesn't have its other rewards.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I think I need the help of natural sleep aids because I am being really grumpy on hubby and short on Yakee for lacking sleep.

Yamee actually has spells when he'd just sleep but during the day, I either squeeze in some work or playtime with Yakee. I also bond with my newly-arrived mom. At night, even when Yamee sleeps, I get awakened by the noises he makes, a cacophony of grunts and moans that disturb my sleep because I want to get him before he cries in earnest and disrupts his older brother's sleep. And even when I know someone is minding him during the day, I can't get any rest when I hear him fuss. Unfortunately for me, I cannot always go back to sleep after being woken up.

Sigh.

I am worried that I am turning out to be unloving to the other boys in my life.

I am a Mom

I have always wanted to be a Mom. But I have stumbled many times in my journey. Still, I continue investing myself. I continue stumbling as I learn. I continue loving. I continue striving. I continue changing, evolving, adapting. Thus, I reap the benefits of being an intentional parent. And everyday, I am fulfilled.
I may have few pictures with my sons, since I usually take the photographs. But their first stories happened with me there as witness. Therein lies my privilege.

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Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of sh!t. (Author Unknown)