Within the past century in the West in particular we have become consumed with a more individualistic way of life. Self-reliance and independence have become increasingly valued. As a result we have learnt to look inwards for the solutions to our problems, fulfilment and purpose. Whilst there is certainly worth in looking inwards to better ...

Most of us have at some point told ourselves to stop being lazy or accused others of being lazy people. Rarely do we stop to try to understand the person or their situation, what laziness really is or indeed if it actually exists. If indeed laziness does exist, how do we choose to define it? ...

Our mood system is ordinarily very robust, for the most part we deal with knock backs and obstacles within a relatively short period of upset. Whether it’s an argument with a partner or family member, the car breaking down or something tragic we see on the news; we experience upset or annoyance but ordinarily our ...

The nature of anxiety is that it erodes your sense of security and safety and as it takes hold your comfort zone becomes smaller. I’ve described anxiety previously in Understanding anxiety and cultivating courage as an invisible prison cell where the cell bars can slowly close in on you; suffocating your sense of self and ...

When someone we care about comes to us for help or in distress we naturally want to help them and to take away the pain in whatever way we can. However, its highly unlikely that we can just take away the distress that they are feeling and this can leave us feeling powerless and vulnerable ...

How you engage with counselling is a major factor in how effective it can be for you and how much you get out of it. Whilst you cannot control how engaged your therapist is or whether you have a natural rapport; you can be aware of and influence how much you are willing to put ...

What is anxiety? Feelings of anxiety are natural in all of us and for the most part do not adversely affect us, but there are many complex reasons why for some people they become unmanageable and overwhelming. It’s helpful to start by understanding where anxiety comes from in simple terms, as it helps us ...

We all know that at times relationships of all kinds can feel like hard work, whether it’s family, friends or romantic relationships, they are often a major source of stress in our lives. Having disagreements or arguments is perfectly natural, if we spend a lot of time with people and care about them sooner or ...

One of the themes I have noticed in counselling is how people can often spend many years focused on pleasing others with barely a thought for themselves. Whilst being generous and giving are undoubtedly good things to be, if we learn that we are valued primarily for being the one who goes the extra mile ...

Perfectionism can lead to destructive levels of stress, anxiety and depression. It’s a common pattern which we can easily fall into without realising it and it’s important to understand we can all suffer through it at times. So what is perfectionism? Often the natural assumption is that being a perfectionist is about being brilliant at ...