Translation - EnglishThe National Park of Doñana in Andalusia is considered the most significant wetland in Europe and has been designated as a Spanish World Heritage Site since 1994, due to its environmental importance. However, the park’s future is under threat with a three day visit by a delegation from the UNESCO World Heritage Centre, whose members will perform ground-based tests to determine the condition of the reserve after complaints were made by various conservation groups.

The enclave’s severe environmental issues motivated a visit which begun with diverse work meetings attended by technicians, associations and groups, and which will conclude on Saturday with a new working session conducted by the technicians responsible for the management of Doñana.

According to the visiting schedule which will take place to regulate these matters, the emphasis will be on, above all, the risks and threats that hang over the Doñana reserve. The focus will be on toxic waste spills, the installation of wind power and the unresolved issue of the irrigation and human exploitation of the area surrounding the park, which according to ecologists, is causing severe damage to the wetland due to the danger of the loss of the aquifers that is made worse by overexploitation.

The spokesman for Ecologists in Action in Huelva, Juan Romero, explains that one of the main demands which his organisation will present to the UNESCO delegation will be the immediate production of an emergency plan which will act against environmental risks, due to the fact that Doñana, “incredibly, still lacks this vital element”.

Doñana is risking a significant amount with this visit as the UNESCO delegation will carry out an analysis to find out if the special characteristics which prompted the enclave to be listed as a World Heritage Site in 1994 and a so-called Ramsar site — due to its internationally recognised wetlands which act as a habitat for aquatic birds— still stand.
In fact, Ecologists in Action is going to request the UNESCO delegation to include Doñana in the list of enclaves which are in danger of losing their special designation “ with the objective that the administrations take into account the real situation of the park, get into action and start looking for solutions’’.

During the first work session with the technicians responsible for the management of the natural environment, the following will be re-examined: the risks and threats that hang over the park; the legal framework and its effects; the control of the local plans; the territorial planning and the agriculture in the area surrounding the park; and the control of the use of underground water.

Translation - EnglishTo you.... the woman who should protect herself
THE STEPS YOU SHOULD TAKE TO PROTECT YOURSELF
You should bear in mind that you may be in danger. This is evident because you have an
abusive person in your life—your abuser.

You shouldn’t forget that there have been other women like you who were brutally
assaulted by their abuser— some of them even murdered.

If physical abuse is a feature of your history of violent treatment—even if it was just an
isolated incident—this real life scenario should make you realise that you’re more at
risk compared to those of you who have violent relationships where only psychological
abuse is evident.

However, considering that a violent cycle exists, when it comes to evaluating your situation,
you should bear in mind that you’re participating in the so-called ‘escalation of violence’. In
other words, the episodes of abuse that you’re suffering can become more intense and
dangerous each time they occur: if in your first attack you received a slap, it’s possible
that in the near future you will receive two or three slaps which will be stronger and more
violent than the first, moving on to thumps, punches, kicks and beatings until you’re killed.
It’s also possible that if at the start of your violent relationship there was only evidence of
psychological abuse, when the abuser is no longer satisfied with this, he may start using
physical violence, meaning that you will stay in the ‘escalation of violence’ until you can
no longer cope.

You should remember that if I tell you to protect yourself it isn’t because the violent
conduct of the abuser is your responsibility. It’s purely his. You should understand that the
attacks upon you do not depend on what you do or what you don’t do. I just want you
to know that there are certain measures of self-protection that you can undertake to make
yourself feel and be more protected and that will prevent him acting with impunity.

Nevertheless, to be able to defend yourself from the abuser you must first recognise that
you’re being abused and you must learn to understand the type of abuse you’re suffering.
To do this, you can ask for advice from a professional, read helpful literature, articles,
newspapers and magazines or watch films which tackle the issue of domestic violence.

BREAK YOUR SILENCE
It’s very important that you speak to someone who you trust, such as:
• A family member
• A friend
• A neighbour
• Your GP
• The social worker from your local health centre
• The local Social Services Office
• A psychologist
• Or call a helpline and tell them about your situation

Think about how your silence can shelter and protect your abuser but can’t protect you.
If you’ve decided that you aren’t going to put up with this abuse any longer, you should
start planning what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it. You can also ask for
help from those who specialise in domestic violence (the police, official support groups for
women, victim support groups etc.)

You’ve been trying to block out what you’ve been going through for a long time now. You
don’t want to accept that you’re an abused woman. However, with help, this is the right
time for you to review all the abuse you have suffered with total honesty. Only by
remembering instances of abuse and bringing memories of the past into the open, will you
be able to heal your wounds and learn to protect yourself.

You should try and identify your own tendency to justify your abuser, play down and
deny the mistreatment and regard your partner as someone who is superior to you. During
this whole time his opinions and his willpower have imposed on yours, perhaps because you
considered him to be an admirable person and you told him you would love him forever.
You must destroy those myths surrounding this ‘magnificent man’ because in reality, he isn’t
one.

If you deny or make light of the risk of suffering from further mistreatment, you’re putting
your children and yourself in danger. Perhaps you know that he could be watching you and
waiting for the next chance to hurt you. Don’t hide the truth about your own circumstances.
Read the statistics on women who were murdered by their partner’s and learn about the
appalling and violent way in which they were killed (stabbed, drowned, strangled, and
beaten). The majority of these women had just separated from their murderers or they had
just told them that they were going to leave them.

If you don’t make an effort to set in motion and maintain minimal security measures, you’re
an easy target for the abuser who may be waiting for a situation when you’re most
vulnerable, so that he can carry out his threats.

You aren’t alone. You have a number of places where you can go for help. You can ask for
help from the following organisations amongst many others:

If you’ve been suffering from domestic violence for a significant period of time and you’re
thinking of breaking free from the situation, it‘s important that you start creating a ‘human
resources team’ who will be able to provide you with unconditional support for the long
and hard process that you’re about to commence. Think hard about who you’re going to
chose to accompany you and give you a hand in the different aspects of your life, such as:
• Who will look after your children when you’re unable to?
• Who will go with you to court?
• Who will listen to you with love and understanding?
• Who will protect you from the abuser?
• Who do you feel is and will always be by your side?

Ideally your team should be made up of family members, close friends, professionals or
support groups who are experts on giving advice to victims of violent treatment. You’re the
one who should chose the companions who will be by your side on this journey towards
your freedom. Once you have thought about and formed your team, it’s important to think
about and decide what security measures you’re going to follow:

• Are you going to turn to a women’s shelter?
• Are you going to apply for a mobile phone with built in GPS?
• Are you going to install intruder alarms in your home?

As you can see, in your situation, the most important aspect of your plan is protecting
yourself against future acts of aggressive behaviour. Don’t forget that it was during this time
that 98 out of 100 women were murdered by their partners or ex partners− when they
decided to escape from the aggressor or they asked or informed him about a separation.

All the security measures which you have organised should be reinforced with help from
society and the mechanisms which it has created to combat crime. In other words, look into
the security which can be offered to you by requesting legal support. Get in contact with the
police and ask them to protect you, while bearing in mind that you’ll only get this protection
if you report your abuser. At present, the formulation of a report means that a ‘orden de
protección’ ( a protection order) will quickly be issued to include a restraining order and
automatic custody of the children on your behalf. It’s important, if you have them, to
retrieve previous injury reports and previous official complaints.

After generating a close circle that can look after you and protect you from the abuser,
think about how much a reasonable amount of rest and tranquillity would benefit you so
you can regain your strength and look for that long lost feeling of serenity.

IF YOU’VE DECIDED TO BREAK UP WITH THE ABUSER
If you’ve decided that you don’t want or can’t put up with the abuse any longer, you
should start planning what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it. Escaping from
this domestic terror is the hardest part, the part with maximum risk for you and your
children. This is a fact that has been proven with statistics that show that when a women
leaves her abuser, it is at this crucial time when more attacks and the very worst attacks
have been recorded.

When an abused woman decides to break up with the abuser and he is aware of the
decision, the abuser usually reacts in one of two ways. They are the following:

In the first group is the abuser who will, with all his might, try to convince you not to
leave him: he will promise you that he’s going to change, that he will never hit you again
and that this, will be the last time. These excuses will be followed by a series of other
excuses and promises that you’re very familiar with because you have heard them many
times before, and know, by now, that they’re untrue.

In this case, if you’re thinking of giving him another chance, you should bear in mind that
the abuser will not change so easily from one day to the next- because he can’t, he doesn’t
think it’s necessary and because, deep down, he doesn’t really want to. Due to this, you
shouldn’t go back to him until it’s evident that a drastic change has taken place after he has
undergone a complete course of counselling.

For the sake of your own life and that of your children’s, bear in mind that if you go
back to him when nothing has changed and all you are a witness to are false promises, you
are putting yourself in a high risk situation.

In the second large group of abusers, it’s common for the aggressor to sense that in your
current situation, his excuses will no longer suffice and he won’t be able to control you,
that he has lost you forever and that he doesn’t have the power to stop you from leaving.
It’s during these instances where the risks of new and more violent attacks exist and due to
the high number of murders which have occurred in these circumstances, the situation is
considered to be very dangerous for the personal safety of a woman.

If you’re in this situation or one which is similar to this, you should report the violence that
you’re experiencing as it’s the only way, with the protection measures available to you, to
guarantee your safety. In no circumstances should you retract your formal complaint as you
will no longer be protected by the law.

You should request a protection order, make sure it is enforced and complied with. Ask
about and gather all the necessary information such as:

• How far in metres should the abuser keep away from you and your house?
• Is he allowed to phone you or try to contact you in any way?
• Who else should he stay away from?
• Where and how you are going to allow your partner to have visitation rights to see the children?

If the abuser keeps on threatening you, doesn’t comply with the restraining order or the
‘orden de incomunicación’ (non-molestation order), don’t be scared, because this is his
Intention—that you withdraw the official complaint because you’re scared— instead, file
another report in relation to these new threats.

You should of course, avoid having any contact with the abuser. You should bear in mind
that if you agree to be alone with him, you’re putting yourself in a dangerous situation. He
will try to convince you with kindness, flattery and affection that you’re not in any danger
and that he only wants to talk about issues which are important to you, like for example, the
children’s wellbeing. He will tell you that he loves you, that he can’t live without you, that he
misses the children and that he wants your forgiveness because he will never hit you ever
again. However, you know that he hasn’t been kind or loving for a long time and that this,
is a trap which he is setting out for you. Don’t feel guilty; he is the only guilty one.

WHAT YOU NEED TO TAKE WITH YOU
If you’re planning to leave the family home, don’t forget the following essentials:
• Legal documents: All your family’s National Insurance Cards (DNI), your passport, your family record book, your birth certificate and your children’s birth certificates, your Social Security cards, any documents in relation to the restraining order or non-molestation order, the lease agreement, the deeds to your property or any other documents in relation to your belongings, your driving licence and your car insurance, your life insurance and health insurance documents (if you have them),your medical reports and those of your children, school reports, your work permits, divorce papers and the documents in relation to the custody of the children.

• Other items: Your medicine and the correct supply of your children’s medicine, your house keys and your car keys, your jewellery and your valuables, your address book, some of your photos and sentimental items, clothes and personal possessions for you and your children.

IF YOU STAY AT HOME
If you’ve decided to stay at home, it’s advisable to establish an escape plan — just
in case the situation gets complicated and you have to look for a safe place in a short
space of time.

You should:
• Open a bank account or a savings account in your name and start saving as much as
possible.
• Make another copy of your house keys and make copies of any important documents.
• Gather together all of your essential medicines and those of your children.
• Leave some clothes with someone that you can trust, have a suitcase ready and keep it at the house of a family member or a friend.
• Decide on a safe place where you and your children can go if your situation becomes a dangerous one, and keep this refuge a secret.
• If you need to, think of someone who would be able to lend you some money.
• You should always have with you the telephone numbers of those people who will be able to, at a dangerous time, quickly intervene, protect you and decide on the most important procedures for you to follow.
• You should get some coins or a phone card ready in advance so that you can make any necessary emergency calls.

You should decide and plan where you’re going to go if you need to leave the house. If
you want to go to a shelter, you should find out about the requirements and check that you
comply, as there are some shelters that don’t always accept:
• Pregnant women
• Immigrants without papers who are carrying the AIDS virus
• Women with sons over the age of 14

If you have any pets, make plans for someone to look after them in a secure environment
until you’re able to pick them up.

From the first day of your plan, you should make sure that:
• You secure all windows.
• You change the locks on the doors of your home, including the ones on your entrance hall and garage.
• You make a security plan with your children and inform their school, their nursery etc, about who has the authority to pick them up. Explain your situation clearly.
• You inform your neighbours and your landlord about the fact that your abuser no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him anywhere near your house, as this could mean you’re in serious danger.
• You ask your phone company to provide you with a private number that won’t be accessible in the telephone directories.
• You never call the abuser from your house phone as he could find out your number and even your address.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE WITH THE AGGRESOR
Step 1. How to avoid future acts of aggressive behaviour
If you find yourself in a situation where new acts of aggressive behaviour could occur, there
are some basic initiatives that you can follow to make it easier for you to get away from the
abuser. They are as follows:
• Start thinking ahead of a plan so that you can escape unharmed from the possible new acts of aggressive behaviour.
• Choose, learn and programme the emergency number that you’re going to call (112, 091,092) and save it in your house phone and your mobile so it can be dialled instantly.
• If he is hurting you, leave your phone off the hook and if you aren’t able to talk to the operator or the police, try to give them hints and information so that they can quickly locate you—name of your abuser or your street name; your surname.

However, in these circumstances, when you’re already in a tough situation, it’s better for
you to ring a family member or a friend who would be able to easily recognise your voice
without you having to call out basic information in relation to your whereabouts. The
person who you call should be the one to request emergency assistance.

You should:
• Think about how you’re going to escape from the house and start looking for a location where you’d be least likely to be trapped or somewhere in which you could lock yourself in or be able to quickly run out and ask for help.
• If he starts to harm you, try to go to a room which has an exit, don’t flee to the bathroom, the kitchen or any other room without an exit, and avoid, at all costs, any rooms with knives or sharp objects.
• Practice leaving the house securely. Identify which doors, windows or stairs you should use and carry out tests now and again, imitating the real attack and the way in which you would escape.
• When you escape, try to take your children with you and go to a place where you’re protected from the abuser for the necessary period of time.

If you think you may require help when the next act of aggressive behaviour occurs, and you
sense that you’re in a dangerous situation; you should talk about your dilemma to those
people who can come to your aid when you need them to and agree on some key words or
a code which will let them know that you’re in danger and you need them to call the police.
You can also ask a neighbour to call the police to let them know that your life is in danger
and you require help if they happen to hear any shouting, thuds or any other signs which
may be perceived as violent behaviour.

It’s important, if you live with your children or any other family member, to thoroughly
explain to them how to request help and how to escape from a risky situation while always
distancing themselves from the aggressor. Choose a key word which you can use with your
children, your family, your friends or your neighbours which will trigger them to call the
police.

Step 2. How to protect yourself and save your life when you’re being abused
If you were unable to escape and the abuser has started to violently hit you, don’t stop
trying to escape at any moment in time, many women have managed to get away at this
point. Don’t forget the escape plan that you previously thought out and make sure you put
it into practice. If this fails, you should:
• Lock yourself in a safe place, preferably and if possible somewhere that has a phone or a window so you’re able to shout for help.
• Stay away from those rooms in the house where you will be trapped ( the kitchen, the bathroom, bedrooms with no windows).
• Look for a place with an exit.

You shouldn’t feel defeated and don’t behave passively. Try to defend yourself with all
your strength while thinking about saving your life. Protect your face, your neck and your
head by adopting the foetal position while covering yourself with your arms and your hands.
Remember that, you should never stop fighting for your life.

Don’t ever stop shouting out for help with all your determination —while he is hitting
you and also after the incident— and, when possible, call 112 so that the required
emergency services can be sent to you.

Use your survival instinct and your common sense. If you can see that the situation is a
dangerous one —worse than it has ever been before— consider ‘giving’ your abuser
what he wants to calm him down and facilitate your escape once the danger is over. If
needed, tell him what he wants to hear : that you love him, that you aren’t going to leave
him, that you’re going to withdraw your formal complaint. Tell him whatever he wants to
hear at that moment in time because the important thing is that you come out of this alive.

In these situations, when you’re in danger and you’re being beaten, it’s very useful to
keep a whistle or a rape alarm by your side as they’re very piercing and easy to use.
It could be useful for reducing the aggressor’s violent behaviour by attracting the
attention of your neighbours or the people nearby in an obvious manner.

Step 3. How to get away after being a victim of aggressive behaviour
At this point you should call the emergency services from your autonomous community or
town and ask them to come to your house or wherever you are, to gather any proof of the
crime which you have just endured. This will allow them to protect you from new acts of
aggressive behaviour and provide you with the help that you may need at this specific time.

Tell them everything that has just happened while going through every specific detail. This
is when you should take your time. Take as much time as you need to express each detail of
the attack. You can also make a brief report and ask for some time to rest and recover from
the recent attack. The next day, you can ask to amplify your report.

If your solicitor advises you not to report the attacks that you’ve experienced, it’s
possible that they don’t believe you, or perhaps they don’t have any experience with
criminal law or have lost a case which was similar to yours. If this happens, you should
immediately change your solicitor. Don’t forget you have the right to free legal
representation due to being a victim of gender violence.

If you’ve got any injuries it’s advisable that you go to a medical centre (accident and
emergency at a health centre or hospital) for a complete medical examination to be
carried out. Usually, the police who have dealt with your case will go with you and the
treatment you receive at the medical centre should be preferential, respectful and discrete.
You should ask for the injury report which you will add to the formal complaint—when you
decide to formally complain. Make sure you obtain copies of the medical reports for the
treatment of your injuries.

It’s important, when you’re at the medical centre, to explain how you got your injuries and
who is responsible for them. You can also ask for other medical reports to be made which
can be linked to previous acts of aggressive behaviour.

Make sure you keep all the proof. You should:

• Keep all your damaged or blood stained clothing.
• Find out if the witnesses to the attack or threats are willing to testify and make notes of their contact details.
• After the attack, try to take photographs of your injuries as soon as possible.

Usually, the police will take photographs of your injuries and these should be included in the
police statement. These photographs are more significant than any other medical and
forensic report.

Don’t throw away any item that has been ruined by the aggressor and keep it or hand it in
to the police as proof of the violent attack which you’ve suffered.

Now is when you should start to understand that you can’t go through another violent
attack again, that this was the last and that you should escape from it for good.

Step 4. How to request official help and protection after reporting your abuser

If the protection order is granted (always carry it with you), it’s possible that the abuser
will have to leave the house and won’t be allowed to come near it for a fixed period of time.
Due to this, you should inform your neighbours about the fact that the aggressor no longer
lives at the house and that if they see him around the area, they should call the police
because this means he’s not complying with the restraining order and it could be a very
dangerous situation for you . Explain to the neighbours that if the abuser wants to enter the
house to collect his clothes or personal belongings, he must be accompanied by the police
and that they mustn’t let him in of facilitate his access to the house in any way.

It’s a good idea for you to change the locks at your house and implement safety locks on all
your doors and windows as soon as possible.

If it’s you who leaves the house—due to being scared or any other reason—you should be
cautious and don’t tell anyone where your new address is going to be. Be discrete and
advise your children and your family members that it’s vitally important that the abuser
doesn’t find out your new address. The only way in which he will be unable to find you is if
you understand how to communicate how dangerous the abuser is for you and you keep
your whereabouts a secret.

Talk to the police and other specialists for advice on the necessary personal safety measures
which could save your life. You should:

• Radically change your daily routine by looking for new routes to and from the house, your place of work and your children’s schools.
• Change your shopping habits and move your bank account to a new bank.
• Modify your timetable.
• Request a mobile phone with built in GPS which is connected to the police.
• Make sure you know the correct police number to call in an emergency.
• Never be alone with the aggressor.
• Don’t go to deserted places or places where you’re unable to get any reception on your phone.
• Explain your situation to the staff at your children’s school and at your work place so they can warn you if he happens to turn up there.
• Tell your children that they shouldn’t let the aggressor enter the house and make them understand that him being near you could be fatal.
• Never leave your children alone with the aggressor unless it’s completely
unavoidable, as they could also be in danger.

THE SECURITY PLAN WHICH INVOLVES YOUR CHILDREN
When you think about a security plan which involves your children, it’s important to make it
clear to them that they’re in no way responsible for the behaviour of their father (stepfather
or abuser) and that it’s not their fault if he decides to act aggressively towards them. Tell
them that the only person responsible is the aggressor himself and that he’s the only one
who should feel guilty. As previously proposed, and always respecting your children’s
feelings towards their father — never put him down in front of them—and try to make them
understand that the situation in which you’re living in, is dangerous for you and could be
dangerous for them too. If you’re unsure about what to say and how to say it, you can ask
for advice from a psychologist who is familiar with domestic violence.

It’s fundamental for you to think about what your children are capable of doing and
understanding in relation to their age. Therefore, you can’t ask a child of four to walk four
blocks down the street on their own because they aren’t able to do this and the thought of
doing it, will cause them intense stress and a feeling of abandonment. You also can’t
pretend that a child of six can spend three hours alone in their room, in silence, waiting for
the aggressive behaviour to stop. You must think of a plan which is appropriate for your
children’s age, which is easy for them to follow, and which won’t cause them to be stressed,
feel defenceless or scared.

It’s important for you to think about someone who would be able to help the children if any
dangerous or unexpected situation arises. Within your plan, you should think about the way
in which your children could quickly contact this person, someone who is easy to reach —at
any moment or time of the day— and someone who they have emotional ties with.

Adapt yourself to understand what your children are saying and give them time to imagine
the solutions to the problems which you’re presenting to them. Ask them who they think
would be able to help them and if they think they would be capable of asking that person
for help on their own.

Let them know that the security plans don’t always work out and that if this occurs, they
should know that it’s not their fault, it’s the aggressor’s fault. Due to this, you should
explain this element to them as if it were part of the plan, given the fact that things can go
wrong or can turn out differently to how you had original thought. You should even
encourage them to think about escaping and asking for help even if the plans don’t go
smoothly and explain that they should go through the steps which resemble the original
plan and shouldn’t feel discouraged or scared.

Help them to identify the first signs of danger, such as:

• When Mum and Dad are arguing
• When Dad is shouting
• When Dad is drunk
• When Dad is insulting Mum
• When Dad is threatening Mum
• When Dad is throwing objects around the room

Tell them that when they see these signs of danger, they should get themselves ready and
be aware that they may need to begin the plan of action.

When you talk to your children about their father, try not to condemn him as a person, only
condemn his actions as an aggressor. We know it’s hard, but you should think about how to
avoid upsetting the children any further. Tell them, for example “when your dad gets like
that you should try to stay away from him and protect yourself”, or “assaulting, hitting and
insulting is wrong, it’s not nice to do those things, and as it’s a crime, we should report it”.
For maximum security, your children may go to their rooms or leave the house and go to a
safe place such as:

• A neighbour’s house
• A family member’s house
• A friend’s house
• The police office

Without a doubt, they should always stay away from their father’s reach and make it
clear to them that they should never try to stop the violent behaviour by fighting with their
father or getting involved with the disputes.
It’s advisable that they keep their mobile phone with the person’s number who can help
them previously saved, with access to this number by a single touch of a button. Explain to
them that when they make the call, they should keep the other person on the line so that
they’re able to listen to the situation and either come to your aid or request further help.

YOUR SECURITY PLAN IN WRITING
In practice, it’s been proven helpful to, with your children; write up a security plan for all of
you. In a terrifying situation or when we are under high emotional stress, we frequently
forget everything, including the most important aspects. It’s just as important for you, as
well as your children, to carry a copy of the plan and, now and again, read through it
together and individually . In the plan, the names, addresses and telephone numbers of
those who can help, as well as the correct steps to take and the right things to say should be
listed. Go over the items which you need to take with you and the items you consider to be
essential, such as: your clothes and medicine. You should also write down where and how
you’re going to protect yourselves if you’re unable to escape from the house.

A SECURITY PLAN FOR THE CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE VISITING THEIR
FATHER
After separating, the aggressor’s manipulation of the children frequently increases; he may
use direct threats and even force the children’s complicity in his harassment towards you.

The aggressor may use the children against you in a number of ways, like for example:

• Criticising you in front of them.
• Asking them what you’re doing and who you’re with.
• Asking them to spy on you.
• Insulting you if the children misbehave.
• Blaming you for the separation or the divorce.
• Telling them that you just want to ruin him and take all his belongings.
• Telling them that he will go to prison because of you.
• Telling them that you’re crazy, that you’re a drunk or that you take drugs.
• Making other family members criticize you in front of them.

He may also take advantage of the times when you have to meet to drop the children off by
hurting you, insulting you or harassing you. Due to this, you can ask for the encounters to be
supervised and carried out at a meeting point or with witnesses who are able to protect you.

Often, while using the children as an excuse, the abuser will keep calling you in a persistent
manner and at unsuitable times or will send you messages using all sorts of excuses for
doing so.

Because of everything mentioned previously, in cases of domestic violence it’s advisable to
adopt the following steps so that your partner’s visitation rights to see the children can be
carried out successfully :

• Always carry a clearly written copy of the legal documents and the agreed
regulations for your partner’s visitation rights. Make sure that the timetables, the days in which he will visit, the places where you will meet, the conditions of the meeting places and everything that you and your solicitor consider to be important, are included within the documents.
• Follow the rules to the last detail.
• Don’t be manipulated by the children’s father into changing the rules.
• Don’t argue with him about the rules of the visits .Leave these legal issues for your
solicitor.
• If he acts in a persistent way, hang up the phone or leave.
• If you haven’t managed to get the visits to take place at a specific place, try to make

an agreement where the father can see the children at a friend’s house or at the

house of someone who is impartial to the situation and understands the risks

involved for you and your children.

• You should of course, given the situation you’re in, try to minimise the amount of
communication with the abuser during meeting times .
• If he assaults you during the meetings, look for witnesses and proof and report
the abuse on every occasion.

When a separation occurs, the visits are difficult for the children, especially in cases of
domestic violence. It’s likely that the father will try to interrogate them about your life,
your address, your telephone number, your place of work, who you see, who’s helping
you, where you’re going for counselling, which activities you’re doing etc.

Research has shown that during the children’s visits, the abuser spends a significant
amount of time doing ‘investigation work’ about the mother or abused woman. He will
manipulate the children against the mother instead of concentrating on the children’s
wellbeing and in making sure the children have a nice time in an environment where signs
of affection and love are exchanged to secure that familiar paternal relationship.

Due to this, it’s important for your child to understand that all your personal details are
confidential and that they shouldn’t talk about them with their father, no matter how much
he insists.

As a way for your children to be capable of dealing with these manipulative situations that
can make them feel unloved, guilty and treacherous; you should talk to your children
about:
• How they should respond to their fathers’ questions about you and your life by

replying to him in the following way: “please don’t ask me about Mum, it upsets

me”.

• How they should react if their father is drunk or has taken drugs by explaining the
following: “when your father is very drunk, as you know, he talks in a different way,
he is restless and may not be capable of looking after you. If this happens, you
should call a family member and ask them to pick you up”.

Your children should know how to use the phone, and if possible, for their own safety, they should carry a mobile with all the essential numbers saved in it. This will stop them feeling isolated and will allow them to keep in contact with you at all times.

You may suggest to the children that it’s possible that their father will make them feel torn between their loyalty towards him and their loyalty towards you. Let them know that this is a common situation, that they shouldn’t feel bad because of it, and that, with time, everything will be resolved.

If you have more than one child, show them how to help one another. You know the strengths and weaknesses of each child and are able to guide them through the best way
of supporting each other.

You should, in advance, tell the children about the details of the next meeting with their father and the agreed terms of the meeting.

If possible, don’t show your personal feelings or thoughts towards the father, don’t tell
them that he hasn’t been paying for their upkeep and don’t interrogate them about their
fathers personal life.

If the abuser begins to attend counselling once you have separated, this may be due to a number of selfish reasons and he may have no real intention of changing. He may be attending because:
• The judge has told him to
• So that he is allowed to see the children
• So that you will go back to him
• So that you retract your complaint against him

As research has found that this is evident in many situations, you should be aware that the abuser isn’t changing and doesn’t want to change if the following sings begin to appear:
• He uses the counselling against you, as if the counsellor were justifying all the reasons to why he’s abusing you and excusing the barbarity of the attacks upon you.
• He tells you that now he realises that you’re the real abuser.
• He pressures you into individual or couples counselling.
• He says that you owe him another chance.
• He says he can’t change without your help.
• He tries to make you or the children feel sorry for him.
• He scares the children into thinking they will have a bleak economic future if you don’t go back to him.
• You have to chase after him so that he attends the counselling sessions.
• He makes light of the situation when he talks to other people about his abusive behaviour.

It’s advisable to listen to the counsellor’s version of the story and it’s important —during the time in which the abuser is attending therapy—to let him know if you’ve suffered any further abuse, threats or have experienced any further attacks.

• He talks to you as if you should be grateful or as if you’re in doubt about his motives for attending therapy. He says he’s doing it for you.
• He tries to convince you to go back to him.
• He tries to convince you to renounce the restraining order.
• He tries to convince you to renounce the report against him.
• He expects you to do things for him, such as: ironing his clothes or making his dinner.
• He tries to restore your sexual relationship. Don’t even think about restoring a sexual relationship with him.
• Even though he pretends not to, you notice that he doesn’t listen to you and doesn’t respect your opinions.
• He punishes you in one way or another if you say something that he doesn’t like.
• He hasn’t let the children know about his abusive behaviour towards you or makes light of his aggressive behaviour.
• He talks about your separation as though it were a temporary disagreement.

The advice in this situation is that you don’t go back to the aggressor if no real changes in his attitude, conduct, motivations and feelings have been made. As you already know, these changes are only evident after a significant period of time, which is estimated to be a minimum of 18 months of counselling.

I moved to Spain (Malaga) from the UK when I was 4 years old and therefore Spanish became my first language; my family and I then moved back over to the UK when I was 12 years old and I have been living here ever since .

English is now my first language while Spanish has become my second language and I would consider myself a bilingual speaker. I have kept up my Spanish language skills ever since I left Spain at home and during my study at college, university and while I taught English in Spain before traveling to New Zealand for my gap year.

I went on to study Translation Studies with Spanish at the University of Westminster where I graduated this year with a BA Honours degree . During my second year at university I gained professional experience at OB10 (an electronic billing company) where I worked as a Translation Coordinator for the marketing department. This job entailed project management duties, proofreading, and translating business, marketing, advertising and general translation of documents into Spanish and into English.

In my third year, for my final dissertation, I chose to translate part of a book on domestic violence from Spanish into English writen by a well known forensic psychologist at the Institute of Legal Medicine of Navarra and the director of the Navarra Association of Victimology in Navarra. I really enjoyed this work and spent 6 months researching and developing my knowledge on the subject in Spain and here in the UK.

I now work in private aviation and have recently been accepted as a member of the Chartered Institute of Linguists. I have taken up a number of freelance jobs for charities and authors since I graduated in July this year, one of my recent translations was that of a web page into Spanish for a Orphanage charity in America. I have also been translating short stories for an up and coming author based in London who has had much of his work published in local magazines and papers.

I quite often check and proofread corporate and marketing documents within the organisation that I work for and liaise with the translation agency to agree on a final translation.

I believe I have an advantage as a bilingual speaker with cultural experience from both my source and my target language countries and would ideally like to become a full time freelance translator in the near future. I am currently doing my upmost to gain as much translation work as possible to develop my professional experience in a number of fields.