Hold Purgatory

Being on hold often feels like a form of Purgatory. In order to speak with a human at the company you called, you must serve some time in a phone land as a captive audience listening to whatever hold muzak is forced upon you. The timespace is completely liminal, a nothing space, a “Waiting for Godot”-type-situation where you can barely remember why you called in the first place. What if you could collect all the time you have spent on hold? What if you had to serve seven years on hold before you got through? Wouldn’t you appreciate some interesting content in the meantime? To start your seven-year account today, please dial (206) 424-8155.

Enjoy your time on hold. The heaven context awaits you. You will be rewarded with eternal asterisk glory for your troubles.