Quick question for you, I was wondering if you could bring back a pair of MBTs from New York. Size 6 1/2. I have all confidence in you for picking out the least ugly, they are pretty dreadful. But did you hear that they’re the only sneakers that tone up your tush? Ha!

Inès brought a pair back. Me so jealous.

So if you’re not too busy and if you can squeeze a pair of MBTs into your suitcase, you would bring me oceans of joy.

And if you don’t have time or space, I’ll understand, no worries…

Fonette

I love your cut off jogging shorts.

Fonette is so nice, but listen, I’m even nicer. I’m a good one, a true friend. I know well what MBTs are. I don’t know why I know what they are, but I know. They’re those enormous round sneakers, like how we used draw shoes as kids, like if you had a rugby ball on each foot. I think I saw them at Corso Como. My personal opinion? You sure you want to hear it?

They’re revolting.

I don’t spend each and every day tearing my feet apart in heels to see my friends announcing the death of style… Just like that, no remorse. And all that just because they think it gives your buns a nice workout. Heels give your butt a workout too, by the way. Yeah, ok. And so what if they tear apart your feet as well.

From : Garance Doré

Subject : garrrrrrrrrannnnnnnce!

Date : June 11 2009 11:00:47 HAEC

To : Sophie Fontanel

I miss you too but…

HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?

I swear on my mother’s life, never will I bring those things back for you. One day, believe me, you’ll thank me. For that matter, you can thank me now.

xoxoxoyoudontwanttobuythosexoxo

G

There, I’m proud of myself. If there were more people like me on earth, in a few months, there would be nothing left but style, harmony and beauty. And torn up feet. OK.

Tuesday, June 16th, so five days later, I learn that Fonelle got her hands on some MBTs. Some traitor to French chic (you can’t find those in Paris, it’s a sign, right? And a good one, no?) must have slipped a pair in under her jacket. Where has Parisian chic gone? Coco and Christian must be turning in their graves.

A few weeks later, in London for my 007 top secret casting, I’m watching the girls and boys pass by, sipping down my latte.

Wait, that girl is gorgeous… I love her allure, her big jacket, and there… What the?… NOOOOOOO HELL AND DAMNATION!!! MBTS!!! I choke on my latte. I’m leaving. And guess what…

Yep. Most of my afternoon I spend seeing these damn shoes and screaming. And on a whole bunch of people who are usually pretty well put together. Lots of girls, even. You want my opinion?

STILL REVOLTING!!!

But I feel like I can’t stop the invasion of hell and damnation. I feel like these are going to be like Birkenstocks. Those shoes, oh man. We’ll all say they’re ugly and then in three years we’ll all be wearing them, and they’ll have them in pink, gold, even sparkly ones, and we’ll think it’s all normal.

AHHHHHHH!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! EVERYONE, EXCEPT FOR ME!

———

PS: For those of you like me, starting to believe that my obsession with heels is becoming a true obsession, i have to tell you that I found a pair of ballet flats at Zara that I just love. They have found the perfect formula for ballet flats. Perfectly flat, perfectly cut, and perfectly classic, the only thing is that I went to go get some groceries at the corner shop on Saturday and when I got home, half of the soles were already devoured.

I decided that I’ll just have to buy 10 pairs. That should get me through to the start of winter!

PPS: I’ve seen Fonelle a bunch of times since our little exchange. But never with her MTBs. Do you think I scared her or something?

Garance, you are a TRUE friend. My friend refused a free pair of MBTs, and it has probably brought us closer together.
My reactions to misled friends are much the same – have refused to accompany girlfriends on belly-piercing expeditions when we were 15, will NOT excuse crocs, even for my friend who works on wards and got the “ballet flat” ones… stay strong, girl.

everyone has them..all my dear friends has got themselves a pair…
Converse forever, MBT to the trash, I would say..
Though they do what they do, and aparently they reduce back pain… (I would say – go swimming! its better!) ;)

Je suis morte de rire, of course it’s awful!!!! But I saw tons of them in London last April, and even some in Paris (I didn’t know how they were called at this time… ‘just thought they were quite ugly)…

… but don’t worry… here in Auckland…. “crocs” are still fashionable… so… ‘could be worst…

You’re so right Garance, they are horrible. My boyfriend was trying to make me buy a pair (I’m pregnant and nothing is comfortable right now) but even so I had to say no. Couldn’t do it. However, your lovely illustration with the red nails (almost as inspiring as the semi-moon exposed red nails Marion Cotillard sports in the new Public Enemies movie) cheered me up. My 3-year-old son chose some bright red nail varnish for me from the shop this morning, the exact same shade as your illustration, and I’m thinking he has such fashion forward thinkingness…

That’s exactly why I won’t buy Lanvin flats anymore.
They’re lovely and soft and perfectly flat but within one day I’ve worn through the soles.
And I know that I need to resole them first, but really, it’s so unattractive. (especially when within a few wears the shape of my toes begins to show through)
I don’t mind MBTs as sneakers only for exercise, but why won’t they tone them down a bit and make a pair of nice sandals or ballet flats?!

Garance, I’m with you on this. Those are the most hideous shoes known to touch the ground. But you know what are also disgusting? Fit Flops. Yeah. Same principle as those absolutely awful MBTs. Supposedly “a workout in every step”. I just fractured my foot, and I still managed to wear one heel with my cast.

The MBTs are ugly, as are Crocs. If you are walking for exercise, then the MBTs are fine, however, they are not for casual wear to the market and such. No! No! No! There are pretty flats and comfortable heels for that. I know you have an obsession for very high heels, but moderate heels are wearable — without ripping up the feet.

I live by Billy Crystal’s line on Saturday Night Live………..years ago but still a classic:
“It’s better to look good than to feel good”. Ah, yes – my husband reminds me of that when I hobble along in shoes that are beautiful but NOT practical.
Love your blog Garance, and your sense of humor.

RE: MBTs
Well I have had them for 3 years and have worn them for my daily power walk, but I believe I have ruined my knees from them. I think that they make you walk more because they cost so much you hate to not wear them, but as far as the toning etc, I’m not sure if the results would have been the same with any pair of walking/running shoes. They are by far the ugliest shoes on the planet. Check out the boots though, they have a certain ridiculous charm if you are willing to risk your knees! And the price!!! mon dieu.

oh please please plllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssssssseeeeeeeee continue to resist the horror that are those shoes.
they ought to be outlawed!
“foul” is my preferred adjective for them.
i protest them! PROTEST!
who wants to look like an a– while toning one’s a–?
it’s so counter-intuitive, so self-defeating!!!
and my sympathies on the flats front – though at least with delicate flats you are only destroying the shoes. ;)

MBTS are horribly, horribly ugly….fer sure…but I’ll tell you what, I’ve been wearing mine for 4 years now – I walk 3 miles roundtrip to work every single day. And my butt and legs are toned. They also improve your posture and I can honestly say that only 1 in 10 women that I’ve ever seen know how to properly walk in heels.

The MBTs come off and the heels go on as soon as I get to my K street office here in Washington. But I could never manage the walk from home in heels. Or flats for that matter. They have no support and are murder on my heels of my foot.

So despite their awful style and ugliness, I do love the fact that they offer a great work out as I trek to work each day. ;-)

Oh my god, I saw someone wearing those for the first time the other day (a tourist in NYC) and I was all, WHAT ARE THOSE HIDEOUS THINGS ON YOUR FEET!?!?! I didn’t say it out loud, but I seriously could not stop staring at them and thinking that I had finally found something that surpassed Crocs in ugliness! Also, to make matters worse, she was wearing them with a maxi dress which would have been very cute with a pair of flats or sandals, but the contrast just made the shoe seem so much worse! I am all for wearing appropriate footwear when working out, but these are ridiculous. And also, if you wear normal athletic shoes when you work out, your butt will get just as toned, I promise!

Hahahahaha!! MBTs are so very hideous!! They’re like the whole crocs thing!! I abhor Crocs!!! Why do people insist on wearing such hideous lazy footwear!! When I’m feeling lazy I wear ballet flats or Minnetonka moccasins.

Oh dear, those shoes are HORRIBLE< im so happy you agree. They are almost as bad as uggs. It is great when a shoe is comfortable but when they look like those you really need to explore other comfortable shoe options or suck up the pain.

What’s the point of a nice ass if your legs end in MBTs (or Crocs or–shudder–Uggs)? I’m open-minded, I believe in freedom of expression, I was on the barricades in ’68, but the wearing of these things should be criminalized. By the government. Now.
The world would be a better place if more people had friends like you.

You’ve only done good, if you’ve scared Fonelle off of the horrific MBT”s, you are completely right, they are revolting.
And yes, they are meant to be real good for your feet and body, but where did the saying “Suffer for fashion” suddenly go?!

I agree… those MBT’s are truly hideous, but yet I’m one who secretly wants a pair. Toned legs and butt- all by walking in those shoes!? However one thing is for sure- if I owned a pair I’d never ever wear them in public… only in my home on my treadmill! =)

Garance, hysterical post as usual. I am sorry re your flats, but what do you expect from Zara? Please do not go and buy 10 more pairs from there and please find lovely quality ballet flats elsewhere and share your joy with us when you do.

Dear Garance, I am on your side. I don’t like MTB’s or Skechers Shape-Ups. They look weird! For me every pair of shoes should look like a piece of art. Shoes. Beautiful result of incredible shoemaker’s craftsmenship.

Just a tip…since you’ve been so into DIY lately…and your ballet flats go through the soles so quickly…I suggest buying ACTUAL ballet shoes and bedazzle/stud/rip/recreate them. They’re virtually indestructible when you do something as gentle as walking in them, since they’re meant to last a while under strenuous terms. :)

That’s really too bad about your perfect flats. It’s a plot the universe has constructed to make you ruin your toes even if you’re just going to the grocery. Have you looked at JCrew flats? I know the company is very sort of stamped out and plain, but their silk and satin flats are pretty, well cut, and have very good soles. ALMOST perfectly flat, perhaps a 3 cm high square “heel” in the back.

I looked them up and they’re horrible. I’m sure I’ve seen them in stores actually. I’m not really into wearing heels either, but if I want to work on my backside I rather do exercise. Why do the shoes people say are comfortable or work out your butt have to be so ugly?

Garance, I must agree with you – those shoes are simply revolting.
I would rather do 1000 squats every morning than been seen wearing these things. Thankfully I haven’t seen anybody in the UK wearing these monstrosities yet, however if you’re right about them being the new Birkenstocks, I suppose it’s just a matter of time…
I must also add to my rant, by the way – Crocs. Just no.

This is crazy! As a former professional marathon runner (who only wears NICE shoes when not running), all I need to say is…this is ridiculous. A few lunges and leg exercises and your friend will have a toned tush (at least as much as any shoes will facilitate). To be honest, I’ve come to believe that biomechanically, if possible, it’s best to go barefoot (not for everyone though). No need to commit a definite aesthetic offense to tone up! :) Where did she get this idea?

Oh Garance they are dreadful! I Completely and Utterly agree with you!

Here in Australia I have not seen them take hold – I HAVE seen them in the sports shoe shops and shuddered as I walked past. Never imagined that some people would actually think them FASHIONABLE!!??? Oh the horror!

They are as bad, if not WORSE than Crocs! Why is this need for making the hideous trendy? Are we so out of ideas? Is UGLY the only thing that has not been regurgitated by the fashion set?

My friend came to visit me from the US (I live in Scotland) and she and her boyfriend both had those shoes. I didn’t have the heart to tell her how ugly and creepy they were! The round bottom makes them look hard to walk in — I’d slip going down stairs, I think. I’ll stick to my chunky wingtips and t-strap heels.