Friday, 28 May 2010

Happy Friday Ho's! Last week's winner was Jayla, as chosen by LivingWithEdward. Over to her!

Thank you for the honors LivingWithEdward. I am utterly flattered and appreciative.

1. You are attending your high school reunion. Across the room you see and a hauntingly familiar face and you realize its Rob Pattinson. He notices you gawking and starts walking towards you. What do you say to capture his attention for the evening?

I remember you! You were the boy with the impressive wand!

2. You are vacationing with your two best girlfriends on a Caribbean island. They cajole you into a day cruise on a catamaran. Upon boarding the boat you realize that you will be spending the day with the Twilight Saga cast (minus Rob Pattinson), Stephenie Meyer and a Summit Executive. However you can only spend time one cast member, as well as Stephenie or the Summit exec for the entire trip. Which two do you choose and why? (Oh, and the Summit exec really wants your opinion and will implement to your suggestions in Breaking Dawn)

3. A nightmare rips you from your peaceful slumber. You realize that Twilight was just a dream. Rob Pattinson’s last role was as Cedric Diggory. Kellan Lutz’s last movie was Nightmare on Elm Street. Peter Fachinelli is Dr. Cooper on Nurse Jackie. Jackson Rathbone never acted and stayed with 100 Monkeys and Taylor Lautner was only ever Lava Boy. Which man can still rock your socks and why?

4. I’m a foodie (I can show you the numbers on the scale and prove it!) and love yummy and unusual flavor combinations. Ben and Jerry's wants to make a Twilight flavor line. Take each Cullen man create and ice cream that embodies that character. Explain if you dare.

Rolling Rock with Rob on the Cob Kernels IceCream anyone?

5. You're best buddies with Rob, Jackson or Kellan. While in town filming a movie one of them wants you to show them your town/city. Who do you take and where do you them?

Thursday, 27 May 2010

It was time for me to decide. I'd spent long enough in denial, trying to tell myself that the current situation was perfectly acceptable, whilst reality tapped gently, yet relentlessly on the door of my conscience. It wasn't going to be easy; I'd known it wouldn't be, and the longer I deliberated, the worse it got. My brain covered the same points over and over, hoping that maybe something that I'd neglected to remember before now, would suddenly jump out and allow me to know instantly which way I was going to go.

I tentatively let my mind wander, and began to explore some of my best memories. Edward stood before me, as beautiful as ever. His bronze hair stood in its usual wild disarray, and unable to resist any longer, I reached up and pushed my fingers into it, grasping it in my hands, and pulling myself closer to him so that I could feel his sweet breath on my face. My skin tingled with sweet anticipation as he moved in towards me, licking his lips.

And then there was Jacob. In my mind's eye, I could see him pulling me roughly to him, his russet skin straining with his bulging muscles. Both of us breathed heavily as he cupped my face in his hands and brought his hot lips to mine, my body reacting instantly as his hands ran over my skin.

I was broken out of my daydream by the sound of my cell ringing. I glanced down at the display and gasped. It was the one person who could help me decide, but it had been so long since I'd last spoken to them. I eagerly pressed the button to answer the call...

ok sorry this took us forever but holy shit i am cracking up!!!not sure if you need more than our faves, but i am DEFINITELY partial to #4. Before I even read what LKW wrote!(The detail.... wow. I just wish it was a little bigger. )

Anatomically correct (if not miniature but I'll let this go)? Sparkly?Fondant AND vodka?!

Holy fuck I LOVE this sparkle peen and want to gobble it up!! I think I have found my Breaking Dawn party favors...Kudos to all the entries though - they're creative and sparkly and fantastic!

: )

Thanks for letting us help judge the peen-off!So...it's time to announce the winner of the Sparkly Mini Edward

Drum roll please...

TWILIGHT CUPCAKE!!

And here's her winning entry:

"Mine is more anatomically correct than cartoonish and silvery sparkly as I kind of figure that may be how Edward might look being a vampire and all in the dark and 108 years old. The whole thing is made of fondant/gumpaste so completely edible and painted with lustre dust dissolved with vodka. I used the tip of a grass piping tip for icing to make the scrotal details."

And here are the other entries

Lovingly crafted by Nibbles from wax, chocolate chips & sparkly eyeshadow. Placed next to the cupcake charm for proportional purposes as I recall.

Created with tin foil, a pen, and two Reeses Peanut Butter Cups for the balls. Mrs P says “I have also made it uncircumcised.”

A fine example of macaroni art, I’m sure you’d agree. TigerlilyRose states: “note the little gold bow cock ring at the base...see it shimmer”. This entry was also a fave of the judge's, however, it was noted that "...the tip looks a little pointy - ouch" LOL!

The Wease's materials are a peanut, jingle bells and aluminum foil. She adds: “Also notice, there is a diamond stud in it...it's just hard to see! *giggles uncontrollably*”

I also have apologies to make. I didn't save pics of Nibbles's sparkle peen cake, or Mary's fondant peen, so they didn't get entered. Sorry gals :o(. I promise I'll make it up to you on July 3rd when we got to see Eclipse!

I have never participated in FFF before and my first time I win! That is so exciting. I hope that I can do FFF justice with my questions and hopefully none of them have been used before(Nope, you're good to go!)

1. If you could switch places with Bella and live any scene in the Twilight Saga, what would it be and why? However you can’t choose any love scenes after Edward and Bella are married, and no kissing scenes either, or the meadow. I know, life’s a bitch.

What? No feathers?? Pah!

2. You have won a chance to go to the set of Breaking Dawn. While no one was watching you, you decide to wander off on your own and happen to stumble upon Rob snuggled up on a couch using a Snuggie and the free book light it comes with. Once he sees you, he is very embarrassed and quickly removes the Snuggie and throws it and the book over the back of the couch. What do you say to ease the awkwardness of the situation? Ps. Rob is fully clothed under the Snuggie. I know, life’s a bitch.

Daddy C thinks less is more beneath his Snuggie

3. You have been given a blank billboard on a major highway and have free reign of what you want on it. It can be an advertisement, a piece of art, a saying, or anything that you can think of. What do you put on it?

Those ad execs know what they're doing, why change things?

4. You wrote a book and it quickly climbs to the top of the Best Sellers list. What is the title of the book?

5. If you had the power of invisibility for one day, what would you do?

"I could swear I'm being spooned. Hmmm."

Thanks for doing something really fun for us all to participate in every week and get to know eachother a bit better.

XoXo

You're more than welcome LWE! Thanks to all of you for joining in! Leave your answers in the comments and LWE will choose her winner from your answers :o)

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

He has assured me he'll happily answer any more in the comments, so go for it.

are you scared yet?

Questions inBlueanswers inRed

First question comes from Snarkier Than You. over to you Snarky

So Mr. Pantz recently said the following:

i have an instant argument winner for a man [to be used in an argument with a woman] that i have developed. it is fool proof but i won't reveal it here ["here" being in the comments of Twitarded]. saving it for later.

Spill it, Mr. Pantz. Inquiring Twitards want to know. Forewarned is forearmed and all that good stuff. And while you're at it, I challenge you to come up with a way for a woman to emerge victorious if faced with said fool-proof argument-winner. You can do it (even if you don't want to). May the 'tard be with you.

First off, STY, I want to say you’re a real bitch. You know exactly what you did in asking that question. So before I go any further let me say one more time. You. Are.A.Real.Bitch. J (guess you weren’t kidding when you said you were on to me, huh?) I am, however, extremely glad to report that it took me being married for 10 years before I came up with the line in the first place. So I’m pretty sure that as genius as it is, its antidote will take even longer to concoct. However, if we’re still punching each other in the arm when no one’s looking by then, I’ll gladly tell you so you can crawl out from the blanket of silence that this will put you under. Go call Mr. STY over here. It’s alright. I’ll wait…………………

The discovery of this line actually was an accident. It just popped out of my mouth but when it did it rendered E speechless so I knew I had something special. Ready? Is the anticipation killing you? Here it is. 7 Perfect Little Words.

YOU JUST LIKE TO ARGUE WITH ME.

If you need further clarification of why this is a clear winner, you can ask me in the comments. I’ll be around for awhile after the show for a more personal meet and greet. They’ve got this deli tray in the green room. That’s pretty nice. I hear there’s going to be punch and cookies. Although I’m not holding my breath this time. I’ve already been promised cookies twice this week and left empty handed. (LWE, I’m looking at you. I know that security tape was a fraud. How come the plate in your “video” is a paper plate yet the plate I saw next to you was clearly a classic Corning Ware white with green leaves around the border. HMMMMM?)

Next we have MusingBella

Mr. Pantz: Do you have any obsessions that rival our Twilight obsession? (I will think Star Wars is a cop out unless you can really delve into detail and/or compare and contrast it to Twilight...)

Is there a limit to how long you’ll let your posts get? What? Why is Stan crying… no… well I know she’s the one who has to transcribe this recording. Calm down. Alright people we need a sparkle peen over her, STAT!

Feel better? I knew you would.

To answer your question MB, yes. I do.

(yeah, I know I’m a fucker. Who do you think put the smart E in her Pantz? Next time be more specific. J Love you!)

Note from Mary-It's actually me doing this one, not Stan.

And patiently awaiting her turn is Raitz

You are home alone (the wife and kids are out of the country on safari for a couple days and unreachable), and the doorbell rings - OMG, it's Rob and Taylor!!(side note from E. as I was reading this question aloud to her she said, “Robin Taylor? Who’s that?!)They've heard there's now a male Twitard and they want to hang with you for the rest of the day before jetting off on their next promo shoot for Eclipse. What do you guys get up to on your Boys Night Out??(side note from E. ooooooo. Manscaping!)

I’ve given this one a lot of thought. And I know I should probably say some guy shit like watch football or get a beer. But that’s kind of fucking stupid. I could do that anytime. And I don’t want to lie to you. If I had Rob and Taylor and we were hanging out for the rest of the day I WOULD TRAVEL BEHIND THEM AND CATCH ALL OF THE PUSSY THAT FLIES OFF THEIR WAKE BECAUSE I WILL PROBABLY NEVER GET THAT TYPE OF CHANCE AGAIN. Except maybe in Forks. I said that to E and she said something about pushing out her Bella shield. Don’t know WTF that means. Maybe I should read the books one of these days

Stepping up to the plate is the lovely JellyBaby

Do he and E talk the same way they type, and if so, do they have like one of those timers that chess players use to manage their turns? I'm sure I needn't say that if the answer is negative, then please elaborate, but I will anyway. :D

You know that was funny enough I’m not even going to waste time coming up with a skit here. Yes. We do. I talk like this all of the time in my daily life and It gets me into no end of RL adventures. The only difference is that here it seems like we’re polite because we have to take “turns”. IRL it gets loud.

But you know, that chess clock is actually a good idea! I mean I love you, E and when you say, “listen… just listen….” And it keeps going and going and going and I keep waiting for a break and it doesn’t come… for like 45 minutes. I mean at least I know that you should quit at 44 right before people get bored. If you can catch them at moderately annoyed instead of bored is key.

The Chess Clock would be PERFECT. Thanks for paying it forward Jelly! ;)

itching for her turn is The wease

1. Have you actually read the Twilight Saga. If not, do you plan to?If so, did you like it?

Yes, I plan on reading it after The Hubtard’s launch some time and blogging about it. I’ve heard so many women talk about their “first time” with reverence and awe I thought it would be fun to experience my first time with a group and allow them to vicariously relive their first time through me. And we can discuss. I LOVE discussion. *looks at audience* LOVE discussion. If I’ve got a good discussion going on, I’ll leave the post up as long as it takes to hash out. So feel free to “hang out” at my place and talk. I love when comment conversations meander and soon you’re not even anywhere near the topic of the post. Good times…I mean, that’s what I’m used to. That’s what my prior blogging experience was like. We were much more contemplative. I used to just post a single question and leave it up for a week. We would discuss and after 3 or 4 days it would get good because people have had more time to think and process. You ladies is some FAST BLOGGGY BITCHES. So if I’m not there for every post, understand I mean no disrespect. Work like 60+hrs/wk IRL

2. Why the fuck are you choosing to hang out with a bunch of Robgasmic chicks online? (Not that I'm complaining, I just don't get it.)

*jaw drops* are you serious? YOU. All of you. I’m here for all of you. I’m not really interested in Twilight. And Rob doesn’t set my loins on fire. (except neverthink. Seeeeexxxxyyyyyyyyy. Mmmmmm. Then I would love to fuck his mouth while he sings.) I’ll probably say this a hundred times more, but I will keep saying it until it sinks in. I LIKE ALL OF YOU! YOU ALL HAVE REALLY CLEVER AND WITTY SENSES OF HUMOR THAT MAKE ME LAUGH AND SEXY IMAGINATIONS THAT GET ME ALL WORKED UP. The same reasons YOU”RE here. That’s not why I came here. I came here to save my marriage. I STAYED here because the people I have met have been nothing short of amazing , ever loving, and have embraced me with nothing but open arms. At least to my face.

I love women. I think Women are the highest form on earth. In fact, my views on this are one of the reasons I got kicked out of church. You see, in the creation tale at the beginning of genesis you have god and she is making everything. She starts with simple things and as the progression continues, the forms become more complex. Eventually, according to the story, man is created from the dust of the ground. Now, in a story where everything has been building and getting better and better and more complex, from a part of the highest being available on the planet, god fashions woman. And then stops. And calls it good. ‘Nuff said.

3. Ok, this isn't actually a get to know you question...it's more of a "can you explain this" guy question: What is it about a woman in a white tank top that drives men nuts?

*jaw drops* Weeeeezz….

According to Ask Twitarded you just made God kill two kittens. How do you live with yourself? Kitten murderer.

Have you ever SEEN a woman in a white tank top? Especially when she’s not wearing a bra. And the breasts have to be real. Sorry, but fake breasts are a FUCKING WASTE OF A BREST. Imo. Unless you’re doing it after a mastectomy or something to regain your self esteem. Then I’m totally for it. But just “fake boobs” for “fake boobs” sake… Fake boobs are one of the big reasons that mainstream porn is very lacking these days. See, you got me all riled up and I promised myself I wouldn’t rant. Where was I?

Oh yesss…..

I remember.

White Tank Top.

No Bra.

For me, I love how just looking at the cotton caressing the breast says softness. It makes my cock twitch. I know just how it will feel to slide my hand lightly over the whole breast as I wait for the flesh of the nipple to tighten and firm up. And then to just lightly brush the newly hardened nipple through the fabric. Then you can move from there to some nice nibbles through the shirt. And THEN you can make her slide it up and over her breasts slowly before you take one of those firm nipples in your mouth and give it just enough soft pressure with my tongue to make a moan escape her mouth.

So… What is that, now. Like 6 different levels of sexy from a simple piece of white cloth?

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Hey Guy and Gals as you know I've been away in hospital and then recuperating at home...all is going well. Few little ups and downs and I can't sit at the computer for too long as I'm messing my back up again because of sleeping funny. Just shoot me now! It will all work out in the end I'm sure. Well I wanted to say thank you for all the good thoughts, messages and gifts that have come my way. I said to my hubtard I must be a nice person afterall (I have self esteem issues I know, I'm working on them).

The Hubtard (my hubtard) has been amazing, I haven't had to lift a finger, nothing has been too much for him, laundry, shopping, ironing, cleaning and I am incredibly grateful to him and so glad I married him.

I know this isn't just me and him but I love this picture, we had a fab day!

Me and the Hubtard

Right so the hospital, I didn't take many pictures as I didn't feel like it a lot of the time but Mini E he was there for me, every time I opened my little cupboard, he was there, smiling at me, whispering words of encouragement......I was on morphine people....remember!

Lol note my copy of TB series 1

He tried cheering me up and was very helpful

Arghhhh I'm coming to get you!

I was kidding Nibs, c'mon, I love you! Hug?

What they playing E? Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon (lol, unimpressed it seems, btw I love that song, if no one has heard it, its a hoot or a howl lmao)

Oops, no I haven't replaced you hunny its just that sometimes I really need a 6ft 5 viking vampire...just for a change....I love you!

And so to bed, it had been an emotional day!

I would just like to give my thanks to TLR and Twitarded Mom for my fabbo goodies that they sent me to aid in my recovery. Thank you so much....love you guys

Loving the card TLR, can't wait to read the books!

Oooo scarlet, my nickname hehe

OMG the bliss were so yummy and the Milano cookies...belissimo, the candies are scrumptious too, still eating those hehe

Hmmm don't know if you can read this....hope you can!

TM, my husband wondered why the plates and stickers, I just drooled and said see they're crazier than me hunny, I'm not THAT obsessed...ahem. I've had to hide the jolly ranchers from my kids. When they saw them they were like gimme, gimme, gimme. The Hersheys was inhaled almost before the package was opened.

So just to say to everyone on the bloggiverse that knows me, thank you so much for being my friends. I really have come to love you all. I have never met more generous, selfless, giving people anywhere and when I hit that jackpot I am visiting you, so watch out!

Just one more thing....Happy Birthday Becky...have a good 'un matey

Happy Birthday to youNow watch out K stewBeckys having Rob for her birthdayand maybe Jaksper too!

Monday, 17 May 2010

Pic roulette - closed my eyes to choose, not bad, not bad. Now that's what you call a cock-blocker though!

Hi Ho's & He's! Well, another week begins, where on earth does the time go? It's mid-May already and it only feels like 5 minutes since Christmas, which is when I bought my Mum a copy of Twilight. Now she hadn't been doing very well with it, apparently she could only picture Rob as Edward, which was ruining it for her because he's none of the things that Stephenie Meyer describes, such as beautiful...

Erm, hello mother, time for another eye-test???

...and everytime I asked her where she was up to, she'd only have moved on a chapter or so. So, imagine my surprise yesterday when I received the following text (my replies in this colour):

Finished twilight hurrah! Enjoyed last few chapters more than rest. Want to know what happens next now read bit of new moon at back - bugger.

Oh my god, where did that sudden burst of reading come from?!

Haha! Hooked ;o)

I must have been asleep when these chapters were on dvd as couldn't remember any of it. Still don't want cutout.

Some people have no taste, what's not to love?

PMSL at the cutout comment! That's only because when they came here, Edward kept making my dad jump ;o). Then this morning, I received this:

Thinking of going to town to buy New Moon, HELP!

Go, go! Lol ;o)

Oh ok, I give in.

So there you go, our latest recruit. It cracked me up and made my weekend, but a very small part of me is worried that she'll get so hooked that she'll want in on blogs & fanfic

"It's a shame that 'Office' fic was pulled, love, I heard it had some red-hot lemons in it..."

Sunday, 16 May 2010

So, the birthday blog train eventually reached the final station and we all alighted. I have to say, Kelly was right about Edbrella being the bar car, and by Thursday I think the excesive Rob-ahol intake had got to us all so much that we were all a bit bleary-eyes, and actually forgot to wish Rob a Happy Birthday on the day itself. I think Nibble picked things up nicely for us on Friday, and I'd also like to thank Dangrdafne for doing a great job of hosting the Friday Fun Five for us, and also to everyone who found their way over there to answer Tongue Twied's questions.

Another exciting thing that happened this week for me, is that I finally posted my new fic Elusively Yours up on ff.net. It's only three chapters in so far, but the responses I've been getting have been fab and I thank everyone who has taken the time to read and review it!

The story takes place after Unravel Me, the one-shot that I wrote for the Black Balloon angst contest. We're left with a pretty scarred, badly behaved Edward, who's main interest these days is....nah, you'll have to read it to find out ;o)

I'm also looking for someone to make me a good banner for this story, so if you can help, or know someone who can, let me know :o).

Right, I'm chicken-sitting this week, so I'd better go and look after them!

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Ok, Edbrella are coupled back up to the Blog Train after yesterday's problem with getting ahead of the engine ;o). If you're looking for Friday Fun Five, then this week Dangrdafne has kindly agreed to host it over at Dangrdafne Days of Delirium. Pop over and add your answers to this week's questions, as set by Tongue Twied.

Ok, so as soon as I heard that today's final Birthday Blog Train post would be predictions for Rob, I knew there was only one Ho for the job, so I'll hand straight over to her now!

Yep that's me, its amazing what they can do in surgery nowadays hehe

Hey ho's its Nibbles the Psychic Dicktective here with preDicktions for our Robert...

I'm looking specifically at just Rob's balls today as its all about him and if I look at the other guys balls then I might get confused not to mention a little hot and bothered hehe...so let me gaze upon the Precious' balls a while.....slurp...sorry drooling (wipes pool of dribble away) ooo incidentally he's started um shaving...yum!

....Ooooooo the veil between this and my fantasy life is lifting I'm sitting in my PreDicktion Shop, holding hands with the Golden one across my tasselly shawl covered table. My...sorry his balls are on my table (I sooooo wish). I'm looking into his perfectly beautiful eyes (although my gaze keeps dropping to his perfectly beautiful mouth and lower to his perfectly beautiful newly shaven balls). Look into the eyes Rob, not around the eyes, not around the eyes, into the eyes and you're a......chicken...no only joking.

As I look at his palm I can see a long and happy if somewhat tumultuous life. I see it all heartbreak, betrayal, reconcilliation, a birth, a fight....Oh no, thats the Twilight Saga, silly me.

I do however see that he is a Tiger (between the sheets growl) according to the Chinese calendar and this makes him determined; he is passionate, warm, emotional and sensitive to the affective nature of any relationship.

I said Tiger goddammit!

He has cravings for success. He finds it hard to accept contradication, failure and error. As time goes by he will need to learn to control his pride! The Horse and Dog are his companions but the Monkey had better back off as they aren't compatible (Note from Stan ~ Bad luck Chimpsten!) . The Horse years are 1930, 42, 54, 66, 78, 90 and 2002. The Dog years are 1934, 46, 58, 70, 82, 94 and 2006. Stay away Monkey years are 1932, 44, 56, 68, 80, 92 and 2004 and wouldn't you bloody know it KStew is a bloody Horse!!!!! Dammit!!

Ok Robert, I'm going to look at your balls now (WIN!) we both peer over the orbs, cracking our heads together Laurel and Hardy style about which we both giggle nervously...as the globes clear I see Robert looking out over a balcony, he is smiling happily, his career has become the stuff of legends, all his films are now met with critical acclaim, he has millions stashed away but he is unfulfilled deep down in his heart. He glances down to the floor, in front of him a bimbette is bobbing away on the now famous/infamous Dick. He pushes her away with a sigh and wanders into the hotel suite, his former happiness gone. He is bored and when he gets bored he becomes rash.

He rings his former girlfriend KStew for a chat which ends up in an argument because she won't come over to see him. Her husband Jared Leto won't allow it. He yearns for his easy life in Barnes and rings his Mum. His Mum suggests a trip to see some old friends and his mouth lifts into a crooked grin....

That's it, bite that lip, oh yeah....

Packed he heads for a private location only he knows, on his way to the airport he rings the other members of this very exclusive and elite club. Whoops and hollers can be heard over the phone as each member agrees they are overdue a visit to this timeless spot.

Strangely they arrive as one and are led through the lavish home noting nothing has changed, they climb the stairs..up...up..up until they see their goal.

"Hello boys...welcome home" speaks a striking woman surrounded by members of her loyal crew..."Welcome back to the Attic" she says.....

They so excited, they holding hands, wait till I get my...oh you know the rest
Oh dear the balls are very full and hard...to read. Maybe if I manipulate them a little eh Rob?
Psychic Dicktecting is very straining...think I'll shut up shop so me and Robbie can have a private um....reading

Hehehe oh I can't wait lol

The next stop on your blog train is My discomROBulation to find out what Kelly thinks the next year has on store for Rob.