I live in a snowy climate, and there are few things more fun than slipping and sliding all around in the snow, but my e-brake doesn't work while moving at any speed. There must be some electronic disable programmed into it, so does anyone know how to turn this off and get it to function as a normal, mechanically connected e-brake?

It is a mechanical brake so there are no electronic overrides but with 300+ hp and a 3200lb car, it's got a ton of work to do to stop the car. If you pull it up hard enough it will work but it's not going to lock up you rear wheels and bring you to a smokey halt, if that's what you're aiming for.

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I think op is actually right, i noticed this. The intervention is not on the brake end, but on the throttle end. The car knows when the E brake is applied, obviously, a light shows up on your dash. I am definitely with op on this, noticed it as well. it will limit your throttle when your ebrake is applied.