Because seriously, with its “Ask not what your economy can do for you, ask what you can do for your economy” mindset and historic, far-reaching fuckery, the business side of the equation has little room to complain about millennials being the selfish ones.

1. My heart goes out to Millenials. As Gen X’er, I remember being labeled a “pierced slacker” back in ’90s despite having near-zero career prospects as a result of my degree and working my ass off at underpaid jobs for maybe the first ten years of my post-college life.

2. I am reminded of how the typical metric for our economy’s health — how much are people spending — always strikes me as totally bizarre. Our economy only works if everyone is purchasing lots of crap all the time?