Stephen Colbert Taunts Trump Over Senate’s Historic Rebuke

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‘Nuh Uh v. Yeah Huh’

The Senate voted on Thursday to reject President Trump’s executive order declaring a national emergency at the border and redirecting funds for his wall, seconding the House’s vote last month and setting up a showdown with the president. Trump immediately tweeted “VETO!” afterward — and indeed, the 59-vote Senate majority that overturned his order would not be enough to override a presidential veto.

That said, the vote represented a historic — and humbling — rejection of the president. And Stephen Colbert was more than ready to rub it in, rattling off a short list of Trump’s other unfortunate “presidential firsts.”

For the second day in a row, Trump took to Twitter to attack late-night TV hosts. He quoted the comedian Michael Loftus as saying, “I don’t know what they’re going to do in 2024 when he’s no longer President?”

Colbert shot back, saying he didn’t anticipate having any problem with Trump departing the White House.

“What do you mean, what are we going to do when you’re not president? Well, first there’s the parade. Then there’s the national orgy. Then I’m thinking maybe a sandwich and a nap.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“There were late-night shows before you were president, there will be late-night shows after you’re gone. Just watch and see — if the warden gives you TV privileges.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

Jimmy Kimmel took issue with another part of Trump’s tweet, in which he said the late-night hosts were “fighting over table scraps.”

“This idea of us fighting over table scraps — not a great metaphor. It’s more like a Hometown Buffet in hell. It’s like, you get all the crab legs you can eat, but you’re never allowed to stop eating them. They just keep coming.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

The Punchiest Punchlines (Vaccination Edition)

“Actress Lori Laughlin, one of the 50 people charged for paying bribes to get their children into colleges, was released yesterday on a $1 million bond. Said Laughlin: ‘How about we make it a million and a half and my daughter gets into law school?’” — SETH MEYERS

“Italy implemented new laws this week that will fine parents up to $560 for sending unvaccinated children to school if they are between the ages of 6 and 16. Said anti-vaxxers, ‘That’s fine, I don’t believe in Italy.’” — SETH MEYERS

“If you’re watching this, it means you survived yesterday’s Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp crash. Or as the millennials called it, the end of the world.” — TREVOR NOAH

The Bits Worth Watching

Jimmy Fallon parodied Beto O’Rourke’s heavily gesticulative presidential-campaign announcement. “I’m sort of like if a compassionate head-nod turned into a person,” he said.

Desus and Mero don’t have a lot of sympathy for the woman who was mauled by a jaguar at an Arizona zoo after she climbed over a barrier to take a selfie.

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