Loss of my brother my only sibling

by regina swift
(Moncton N.B.)

I lost my brother April 27th, he was my anchor of life. I lost my parents young and he was everything to me. I am very sad and dealing with this basically alone. I find people are telling me to move on, I am finding this hard. If you have some ideas pass them along. I feel no two people grieve the same.

Comments for Loss of my brother my only sibling

Hi Regina....I lost my sister many years ago. I was 20 and she was 5. She was killed by a drunk driver. It took three years before I was able to even say her name. Fast forward....one year ago today I lost my 23 year old son Dimitri. This loss is much more painful to me and I found that I had to get into some sort of support group or I'd curl up and die. One group that I recommend is Grieving Siblings. It's a facebook group and it's closed so you can participate and have privacy. I belong to the Grieving Mothers section of this group. It's a safe place for me to go and pour out my heart. Another site is The Compassionate Friends. They are more geared to parents losing a child but they do have good resources for siblings. Be gentle with yourself right now....it's very fresh. Sending hugs and prayers your way.Shirley

Aug 09, 2011

Your grief is your ownby: Glenda

Regina: One of the most helpful books I have read is "Confessions of a Grieving Christian" by the world renowned Zig Ziglar. He lost his firstborn daughter and takes us through the emotions he and his family felt as they experienced deep grief. The book is not fancy and lame platitudes but real counsel from his own grieving heart. I don't know if you have a faith in God but at your plea for help, I recommend this book and grief support groups in your community. Don't try to handle this alone. As for those who say, "move on", rubbish. There is no time limit to grieving. So, just find a friend who will listen and let you talk.

Aug 09, 2011

Your griefby: Hope

The first rule of grieving is that there are no rules. The second rule is to never EVER allow someone to tell you how or how long to grieve.

When the weather turns cool in the Fall I will head to Winter which will be 2 years since I lost my Love. I am just now feeling comfortable in my own skin. It took a lot of work and emotional ups and downs.

No one... not even those who have gone down the grief path can tell you how to travel it. Just know that we have been where you are, not exactly but enough to know that you are not alone. Read past posts and learn how we got through, what we felt and how we dealt and adapted to this "New Life" that we have been dealt.

There are 2 sayings here that might help you get started in you grief walk... Most often used is one breath, one step, one day at a time. The 2nd saying I have relied on often "Fake if till you make it" Don't bury your feelings it is unhealthy, just act strong until you are strong. One Day, One Breath,One moment at a time.My Best...HH