Pretend you’re the producer for a local news affiliate. You have an overweight reporter at the skate park, and the man he wants to interview is on the opposite side of the half-pipe. As the reporter announces his intent to cross the half-pipe (his metaphor: “human Frogger”), you have to take a moment to say, “Yes, doing this segment live was an excellent decision.”

So what happens? Well, what do you THINK happens? Some kid gets taken out by 220 pounds of breaking news. And it’s awesome. I especially like that our portly reporter asks the kid FIVE times if the kid’s all right before realizing that the victim’s chin is bleeding. “Are you all right? Are you all right? Sorry. Sorry. Are you sure you’re all right? Hold on, I’m going to use my eyes, then ask you again.”