February 25, 2007

after many weeks of silence, i am once again casting my thoughts into the void. who knows if anybody really is reading this. if so, welcome to this brief window into my mind. i'll let you catch just a glimpse.

it'll be a week tomorrow since i've had my surgery. while not in any way catastrophic, i must concede that it has been life-changing. well, maybe just thought-provoking. when forced to desist from working and sleeping comfortably and lifting anything heavier than 10 lbs (which is practically EVERYTHING), my thoughts distill from the frenetic energy that is my daily life and i'm left with the crystalline reflections, the residual clarity of examining me: my motives, my dreams, my wants, my inspirations.

from the center of this stillness it seems impossible to return to what my life is and has been. and then the shadows and the whispers of the obligations, the needs and realities of merely existing serve to remind me of why i chose the way my life is right now. thus diverted my attention is then claimed by the other precious and indispensible blessings of my life as i know it. it is really possible to be this undecided and content at the same time?the flux continues.

2 comments:

first: just laproscopic surgery. silly, eh? but it has me down and out for the count. i think i took my pre-surgery energy for granted. now i'm just wasted after doing the simplest tasks. they say anesthesia does that to you, though.

second: thanks! i think it's just the bookworm in me coming thru. that and the drugs. painkillers definitely take you to a different reality. :)