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I love the New Year. It’s so full of promise, so clean and fresh and…well, “new.” It’s as though the clock has restarted on everything. Hooray!

Gym memberships skyrocket, websites that deal in health and fitness show a rush of activity, resolutions abound! This is the year we’re finally gonna lose that 10 pounds, get in shape, get a better job, do all the laundry, clean under the refrigerator, become a better neighbor…

And then in mid February we start to feel the pressure of it all and maybe we realize that the “clean slate” of January 1st was not all that clean after all. The idea that we can completely start anew is replaced with the guilt of missing workouts, the cold weather weight gain, then the pressure of the lurking summertime starts to loom on the horizon. The clock is never really on our side, is it?

What matters is how we choose in the moment, not some great cosmic shift, not the reset button on the calendar, not the foreboding of “swim suit season.” This year I wonder if we can set goals that are driven by the small stuff, by the momentary good choice, by the hope of tiny shifts in our psyche toward good health.

Choose one thing, maybe it’s for a day or for a month but choose something. Always have something to choose; mindful eating, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, choosing the side salad instead of the fries. These are small things. They are “this time” things and they add up. There is no quick fix. You already know that. So, choose one thing.

For the last two years I’ve been lamenting my loss of motivation. I try, half heartedly, to eat well or to work out. I used to like working out, not love but at least like. For the last two years though I’ve been neglecting the work out, resisting it isn’t exactly accurate as much as neglecting it. It’s not a matter of “finding time” but more that I have felt as though I’m standing at the foot of Mount Everest and what’s necessary is that I climb it, now. I walk three steps forward, put my hands on the rock and I am immediately exhausted.

My first thought in all of this was that it was an extension of aging, the next was that it was a chronic fatigue issue but recently, a diagnosis came through of a thyroid issue and I was relieved, unbelievable relieved. I’m not just lazy, I’m not just getting old, I’m not suffering from some undiagnosable condition that eats away at my energy and my resolve.

The meds are being fleshed out now and it’s a polarizing process of wondering what can be done apart from taking a pill every day for the rest of my life. It’s easy to take the pill and it might help fix the problem but it goes against my nature to take a pill to fix my body. It’s not something I’ve faced before. It’s all new.

In the meantime though, the pill has helped a bit and my energy is slowly finding its way back. The trouble is that I have lost a great deal in those two years. In addition to motivation and energy I’ve lost the good muscle definition I’d enjoyed, I’ve lost stamina and endurance. It still has felt as though I’m standing at the foot of Mount Everest and expected to climb to the top, right now and every day forward, always moving upward.

My two years of trying resulted in a few discoveries of things I’d long suspected but needed confirmed- 1)short-term diets don’t work for long-term results and 2)there is no quick fix.

Then one day I got a “suggested app” on my phone for a 7 minute workout. I’d already known about the “Tabata” method of workouts and had been able to do at least a small amount of work with those over the last two years so I downloaded the app and did 7 minutes. I almost broke down knowing that the 7 minutes of calisthenics at my best intensity was so far from my all time best. I collapsed on the floor when it was done, feeling all the loss and none of the satisfaction I’d had in the past with exercise. Still, it was 7 minutes more than the day before…and that was the point.

The truth is that we’re not climbing Mount Everest. Most of us don’t have to scale the mountain every day, we just need to manage a few hills, a few miles on the long road to fitness. For as long as we see becoming healthy as a climb that only a professional mountaineer would attempt we will always fail. Each of us has our own road to fitness to follow and rarely do the road look completely identical. In some places we will find fellow travelers and in some places also, we will be in uncharted territory, scaling small hills on our own and we do this not because we like to do it but because we have to do it. We have to do it because it’s in the road and there is no other way around. 7 minutes is enough for now but only if I see it as a 7 minutes on the long road back to health and know that it’s just the first of many hills of varying lengths and heights. Everything counts. I’m moving forward and it’s all good.

Having been on a sort of “dietary walkabout” the lat 6 months or so I can say that I’ve come to a few conclusions-

a very few conclusions.

Conventional wisdom, as I remember it, generally has held the that way to “lose” weight was essentially a math formula- calories in, calories out. You want to be thinner? Eat less! Workout more! Tame your appetite! This is the mantra I’ve heard circulating throughout my entire life.

There is no shortage of “diet fads.” In this country in particular we have become a nation obsessed with image and depressed with the results we see, which leads to more obsession, then depression and so on. We get into a dangerous cycle always following that carrot on a stick to be a thinner, fitter, more pleasing version of ourselves. Until we read that the glycemic index of that carrot on the stick may be making us fatter. So we replace the carrot with aspartame fueled soda until a study tells us that the chemicals are embalming us from the inside. The diet drink becomes a porterhouse steak and the authorities scream, “Keytones!” We back away from the red meat and move toward soy but that becomes the enemy before too long, that crafty soy acting as a hormone in our bodies, a wolf in sheep’s skin and pretty soon we discover that the cupboard is bare. Chemicals will kill us, carbs will make us fat, protein will poison our tissues, soy will do who knows what.

I admit there are moments when I sit down on my kitchen floor, head in hands with absolutely no idea what to eat.

The bottom line as I see it is that there is no panacea, no one size fits all, no miracle cure for everyone. The world has shifted, our bodies are bombarded now with chemicals and free radicals and heavy rotation advertising slogans, to continue to employ “conventional wisdom” or even fad diets ends up being a fail, which leads to depression and culminates in strengthening the obsession with being thinner, being fitter- even being healthier becomes an unreachable goal given the overwhelming and conflicting data!

The one common refrain I hear when I ask someone about a type of diet they’ve tried, “Well, it totally worked for me!” or “So and so lost all this weight eating that way!” The data is conflicting and confusing but the anecdotal evidence is compelling. What’s a person to do?

Here are a few things that occur to me in this drama free fitness realm:

1) Know thyself-

Your body is your own. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Do the work necessary to understand how foods affect you. Keep a food journal. Note how you feel or how your clothes fit with each passing day. Not everyone needs to cut out fats or sugars or gluten. Figure out what your body responds WELL to in the food area of your life and feed it that.

2) Forget the carrot-

In fact, throw down the stick too. What would it look like to just spend time celebrating things you love about your body for a little while? It does no good to be running after that carrot on the stick day after day, week after week, month after month only to realize you’ve been running in a circle for years. The goal of being healthy is a good one but it’s a daily, probably hourly, series of choices we make and they ALL go back to a goal of loving ourselves enough to care for ourselves and our families. The carrot on the stick is a lie at best.

3) Become a delish-itarian.

My friend Sarah coined this to me one day and I’ve never forgotten it. Let’s stop making food our enemy, shall we? Clearly, we want to make choices that sustain us and avoid the free radicals and the chemicals and the genetically modified foods AND how about we re-introduce ourselves to our taste buds too. Every meal, ask yourself what you taste! Look, I’m no saint, people, I wander over to the Sonic Drive In from time to time. There’s no shame in that. Instead of employing shame to help us change our ways, try really tasting your food throughout the day. What do you like? What do you dislike? What do you not even taste at all? I say we enjoy our food, not by overindulging but by paying attention to it.

Maybe if we do these things, that will begin to shape how we make our choices and that will shape how we live our lives… That’s a cycle I’d like to embrace.

It’s a vicious cycle; workouts lapse, health declines, motivation wanes, time evaporates, fitness gains are lost, pounds are gained, then comes the crushing guilt every time I think about getting back on the straight and narrow.

The over use of “if only” echoes in my brain.

“I wish I had kept up with it.”

“I can never get back there.”

“I’m a failure.”

I imagine myself in the middle of a deep lake, I know how to swim but the shore is far and it’s growing dark. I try to swim but the shore is so very far away and I am tired. The panic rises up, it takes over. Panic is the worst thing we can do in a situation like this. Why does it seem like the first response that comes to me? Panic is so natural, like sitting down on the couch and eating a bag of cookies whenever I think about working out. I do what I think I CAN do. This is the control I show, I can sit down and eat a bag of cookies. It doesn’t make sense but the shore is so very far away. I can never get there.

why

even

try?

Then, I have this one moment, this one small, tiny, nearly un-hearable voice in my ear saying, “Stop. Wait. Look here.” When I stop looking at the shore I see a series of shallow spots, mini islands, stepping stones leading between where I am swimming and where I need to go. THAT is how I get to where I want to be.

Here is my reality- I’m never going to be 24 again. I’m never going to have THAT body. I’m going to have the 44 year old version of that body. I want to have the healthiest version of that body. If I want to get there I will have to go on step at a time, one island in the lake at a time and I will get there when I get there.

I know that I cannot live on these resting places, I have to get to shore because life is good there, but life happens here too, on these in between places, the places I have to stop and rest so that the shore can actually be in my future at all.

That next island does not have a bag of cookies on it. That’s where I’m heading next.

I’m excited to start a new series of guest posts about normal people and their experience with real life exercise.

Enjoy this first post by the lovely Erin Pollet! Tip #3 made me laugh out loud.

The Unrunners Guide to Running Races

By Erin Pollet

Recently I ran a 10K for the Hispanic Women’s Network of Texas’(HWNT) scholarship fund. I placed 2nd in my age division and ran a personal best 10:57 minute mile. For those real runners out there, you know this is not very fast, but I’m not a real runner. I run, but since I don’t train faithfully or keep track of how many miles I go per week I consider myself an “unrunner.” It’s easy to become an unrunner, and it’s really fun if you don’t let the real runners intimidate you.

Tip #1 Pick a race.

My running partner Monica and I were planning on running a half marathon on March 4th. We’d been planning to run that race since January, but we just did not train enough to run 13 miles. So we googled “San Antonio running races calendar” or something like that and came up with the HWNT’s Lace Up scholarship race. The charity meant zilch to us as neither one of us is Hispanic or in need of scholarships, but it was on the right weekend, and it was a 10k. Races are NOT cheap, but it does ease the blow that most of them are for a good cause. You can choose one that means something to you personally or, like us, just choose one that is convenient. I do recommend picking a race about 1 month to 6 weeks away. Any farther than that and it really doesn’t loom over you enough for motivation.

Tip #2 Just get out and run.

There are many, many articles about running schedules: speed work, tempo running, interval running, etc. If you want to be a real runner, by all means, pick a schedule and get out there. If you want to be an unrunner, there isn’t really a schedule to follow, just some guidelines. I run for whatever amount of time I have to run. If I don’t feel like running the whole time, I walk, but my body is moving for a certain amount of time.

My personal goal for every race, however, is that I want to run the whole time. So on the weekends I try and run for at least the amount of time it would probably take me to run the upcoming race. 5k is about 30 minutes, 10k is about an hour, etc. During the week I run when I can, or I cross train (a real runner’s word for “doing something else besides running”). Cross training for me is spin class, but any aerobic class or weight training will do.

Tip #3 Have friends with athletic injuries.

The morning of the race, I woke up to find a message on my phone that Monica was backing out. She had hurt her knee at a soccer game the night before and would not be able to run. I was pretty bummed out about having to run this race alone, but honestly I am very lucky that I have the type of friend that is athletic enough to get injured.

Monica was there when I started running. She’s run for at least 20 years, and in my mind could probably run non-stop a la Forrest Gump if she wanted to. She would run with me when I could only run for 30 seconds and then walk for 20 minutes to catch my breath. She would run like that, drop me off at home, and go out and run for 45 minutes to get her actual running in. For all that, I still consider her an unrunner because she runs just to run with no schedules or goals in mind besides “I can drink a beer tonight without feeling like a lard ass.” Everybody needs a friend and running buddy like her.

Tip #4 Use your clothes to gauge how you’re doing.

I’ve never run a race all by myself before, but I know that the first thing I have to do is find the packet pick-up area. This is where you get your number, chip (the little hard plastic piece that keeps your time), and your t-shirt. Yay, t-shirt! Unfortunately the shirts are those athletic types made with breathable material and run way too small. I stupidly ordered a large, but I pick up Monica’s too (since she already paid) and she ordered a XL. I’m soooo keeping her shirt.

According to shirt size, I’m not doing so hot.

Tip #5 Choose your starting position wisely.

Real runners should be near the starting line. Walkers should be in the back. Unless you want to get run over, I suggest picking a point somewhere in the middle. If you are surrounded by men with tiny shorts and shaved legs…move back. If you’re standing next to a white haired lady with a walker…move up.

Tip #6 Make new friends.

Unrunners run races for fun. Running faster than the person next to you is FUN. Real runners are there to beat their own times. Since I don’t really keep track of the time as I’m running the race, all I’ve got is the person in front of me. I hate that person with every fiber of my being. During this race it’s a red- haired girl that looks like a girl I used to work with. That girl quit and left us in a bind, and I hate that girl for what she did. I will not let her doppelganger beat me! I see her up ahead of me at about mile 4, and from that point on my one goal is to catch up with that girl, overtake her, and cross the finish line before she does.

Remember this…hate motivates!

Tip #7 Pace yourself.

The first couple of races I ran, I made the mistake of taking off as fast as I could from the starting line, or I tried to sprint the last half mile to the end. Neither strategy has worked. I’d just wear myself out and then struggle to finish. During this race I keep a steady pace with short bursts of energy as I go up the hills. It pays off as I notice that red-hair girl is starting to walk. I know that she is wearing down, but instead of speeding up and trying to overtake her right away, I hang back and bide my time. As we make it past the 5 mile water station she’s walking, and I pass her by. With a burst of speed she sprints past me again, but I know she’s on her last leg now and can’t hold out that fast. Sure enough, she starts walking again, and I pass her by at my nice, steady pace.

As I see the finish line up ahead, I do speed up a little…just to look good for the crowd. As I cross I look back to see Miss Red-Hair crossing just seconds after I do. I want to thank her for motivating me. I don’t REALLY hate her, but I’m not sure how she would take it if I said, “Hey, if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have finished so well. Thanks for sucking a little worse than me.”

Tip #8 Take whatever they offer.

Refreshments! The 2nd best thing at a race after the t-shirts. I’ve done beer runs (free beer!) and pancake runs (free pancakes!), but most of the time you get fruit, cokes, Gatorade, juice, cookies, or free samples of sports bars. Take one of EVERYTHING. You paid for it, and you earned it. Plus, you may not realize this, but you are going to feel like absolute garbage in a few hours if you don’t eat lots of carbs and drink tons of water. The earlier you start eating, the better you’ll feel later. So stuff your face!

Tip #9 Don’t downplay your accomplishment.

Since I was by myself, I shoveled in some sliced oranges, a delicious Texas shaped gingerbread cookie, drank a diet coke and left, but usually I’ll wait around for the results of the race. I checked my results online the next day. Always look at the results. It’s really gratifying to see that you didn’t come in last, and believe me, unless you walked like a zombie the whole time, you did NOT come in last. Post your results on Facebook. Put that bumper sticker from your packet on your car. You did it! I am always motivated by hearing about other people’s successes, so if you feel like you’re bragging, just think of how many people might get out and start running because of YOUR story.Tip #10 Choose your next race right away.

Go home and pick a race a month away. It doesn’t have to be a longer race, just something to keep your motivation up. I’m looking at one called the Sunset Wine Tour which is an evening race with free WINE! I just hope there’s a nice t-shirt.

Erin Pollet lives in San Antonio, TX with her husband, 2 kids, a couple of guinea pigs, and a giant poodle. She’s one of “those old people” at San Antonio College where she’s majoring in Biology, and works as a registered polysomnographic technologist, which sounds very impressive when it’s written out in a bio. When she’s not running she enjoys reading big, intimidating books and looking at pictures of dead people online. She is in no way a “normal” person, but can pass for one most of the time.

I like exercising at home. It’s convenient and I’m a little lazy, I admit. I’ve been a devotee of home exercise DVDs since before there were DVDs. At one time I think I owned pretty much everything Tamilee Webb ever made. She’s so perky. I like her.

So my question to you is this, if you like home exercise DVDs…do you look like the person on the outer cover? I mean, do you have the muscles? The clothing? The smile on her face?

Yeah, me neither.

Do you know why?

It’s because more than likely the person on the cover of that DVD you love does this for a living. This is his or her’s job. But the rest of us? This is not our job. Most of us sit at a desk or chase small children or instruct other people’s children or stand at a big espresso machine asking “foam or no foam?” all day. For most of us, our jobs do not depend on having muscles on our muscles.

That being said, our jobs do depend on us being able to show up to do them every day and so for that reason I’m going to tell you that it’s important you keep at that exercise program or DVD you love. You wanna kickbox with Billy Blanks?

Do.It.

You love Buns of Steel?

Me.Too

Now, because I want you to keep at it I’m giving you a piece of really important advice- do the workout because you like the workout not because you want the body on the cover of the DVD.

Friends, that’s not your body on the cover of the DVD and I can promise you that the person on that DVD did not GET that body simply by doing that workout a couple of times a week. That person has to work as hard as any of us at it. The big deal difference is that this person’s living depends on them being in top physical form.

This being said, maybe you DO already have a body like the one on the cover of the DVD and if you do then I salute you! Well done!! You rock! I know that you work hard or that perhaps you have amazing genes. Even so, love the body you got not the one you wish you had or the one that your spin instructor has or the one that the buff barista next to you has…love the body you came with, it’s the only one you get.

I have a friend who gets up early every morning and she runs. She’s a runner. I like this about her. She’s focused and disciplined and authentic too. She’s probably one of my very best friends.

Myself, I am not a runner. I often tell people that I don’t run unless I’m being chased and even then, I’d probably try to talk some sense into whomever is wanting to chase me first. (Probably not wise, I admit.)

Nevertheless I keep TRYING to be a runner. I keep buying the stuff I’d need; the shoes, the iPod holder, the clothing. Sadly, I can’t buy the motivation or the desire to actually get out there and run. I have gone out a few times. I considered asking people to run with me, add a layer of accountability but each time I do that I realize I need to have someone at my own slug level or I just feel crappy asking them to slow down or even power walk…um, okay, saunter.

Here’s the thing I realize about exercise-

If you don’t LIKE to do it…even on some very deep level…. the likelihood that you’ll make it a habit is low. It’s not impossible, it does happen. I know a great many people who began an exercise program, hated it and then grew to love it. This does happen. I’d suggest, though, that it was more likely that they let their disdain get out of the way long enough to discover something new about THEMSELVES. It’s empowering to stick with something and make that discovery.

That being said. Not all of us are meant to be runners. Not all of us are kick boxers. Not all of us are Zumba lovers.

It’s okay. It really is okay.

This doesn’t mean that you will not ever have some sort of movement or exercise program you’ll love (or learn to love.) It only means that perhaps you haven’t found your “thing.” The tragedy isn’t in the discovery that a program isn’t your thing….the real tragedy is that we stop TRYING to find our thing.

Consider this…you have favorite foods, favorite movies, favorite songs…does it have to be your favorite forever? No, of course not. But while you loved it you loved it well. Now, if you never found a food, a movie or a song that you loved, would that be alright with you? So why not apply the same thinking to movement?

Let your resolution this year NOT be to

-lose weight

-get in shape

-have thinner thighs

Let your resolution this year if you don’t have a way of moving you like (or love) to be to try something new. Just try something. See if you can find your “thing” over the course of time.

I’ve always been a person who pursues the healthy path unless I’m in the fast food drive thru, then all bets are off because as I see it if I’m getting fast food then I want the food that chain makes famous. I know it’s completely wrong but if I’m at McD’s I want french fries, not salad.

I’ve always been a person who pursues the healthy path unless I’m in the fast food drive thru, then all bets are off because as I see it if I’m getting fast food then I want the food that chain makes famous. I know it’s completely wrong but if I’m at McD’s I want french fries, not salad.

For years I’ve been trying to reconcile this and force myself to choose healthy options when I’m faced with unhealthy situations. At the same time I remember sitting with uber health nut friends at restaurants and feeling the pressure that came at ordering time. What I REALLY wanted was the Cream of Broccoli soup but what I ended up getting was the low fat/low salt/low taste option because I was having lunch with the uber health nut guru type, not that the uber health nut guru expected that of me.

I realized that this pressure to be “healthy” and to “choose well” hits me everywhere. At the same time the opposite message- “eat fast, eat greasy, take the easy way” is what is most available to me. I don’t mind working a little harder to live longer, feel better and be the best version of myself, I just don’t want to be obnoxious about it.

There has to be some middle ground here.

And so, I’m working on pointing out the middle ground as I encounter it. I’m a normal person, a middle of the road person. I’m not super fit but I’m healthy. I’m not a gym rat but I am a certified personal trainer. I’m not a vegan/vegetarian, I’m a delishatarian. I’ll choose the delicious as often as I’m able.

If that’s something that interests you then come along for the ride. Toss in your 2 cents as we go. We’ll all get rich.