I wish i could write in a language known only by myself. Cause everything’s too complicated for anyone to bother reading.

It’s about the last few days… when all of my universe seemed to be melting down. I wish I could blame it on the overwhelming panic attacks but it’s not all that. It’s waking up in the morning with a feeling i can’t describe. It’s feeling my mind empty and my body not even mine…

And above all this, that loneliness that takes the smile off my face every day. And the feeling of guilt, guilt that I could do more to solve this thing up. I can’t stop thinking about this. I wish I had the power to do more. But no… maybe I do have it, yet I don’t no how to use it…

And it’s the outside world I totally forgot about, the walks, the parks, the birds and butterflies. The time I used to walk on the river bank, in the middle of the evening and literally cry out loud for help…