Tuesday, November 10, 2009

is it lurking inside the cabinet?
maybe across the sea,
on some pleasant retreat?

the courage, I seek
to stay strong in this moment
of weakness

avoid filling the void
as it is irreplaceable
seeking out what is not
manifesting desire
where otherwise is none

flooded eyes and foggy brain
an emotional turmoil bursting inside
don’t hide the anguish
let it be heard, let it be seen

this storm that has risen
doubt and anguish
ever confusing
pulling you this way and that
finding the strength to remember
there is reasoning, meaning
behind all else otherwise
deemed demeaning

loves gained, loves lost
hopes inspired, hopes deminishing
confidence rising, undermining overwhelming
titter tatter, the life scope goes
escape, if you must,
but what shadows must go?
which will follow, should your escape
be in vain?

in search of the sanity
of which you have never
really gained

Maybe I can find itout there on some pleasantretreat...?See you in a couple of weeks!

they look towardthe happy couplewith beauty and grace of whichbodies aligned naturallyin tune with one anothereasing closerwith a comfortable silence

look beneath the surface of that same oceanthe habitats striving to existpollutants of the world aroundadding pressure to survive againstmankindagainst rivals and food chainsa once smooth surfacehidden withinthe whirl tide of existencethat shall prosperrecreating its evolutionso much more to be seento survive, below the surface

the happy couplepublicly pronounced as 'perfect'innately surrendering to compromisein a world where competitive boundarieslay no morebattling the storms of rough tidesand bigger fishthey struggle to existas onecalm on the outsidewith a whirl wind of lifewithinrecreating self to accommodateevolutionbound with strength and confidencein their imperfections

so, they too, sit with the public eyeobserving the beauty of God's lightand know,there is so much more below the surfaceit is the understanding of acceptancethat makes it perfectthat makes it surrealthat makes it ever changinggiving life the strength to existin the beauty of this nightwhere on-lookers pausein reflectionof evolution

Thursday, August 20, 2009

An exotic foreign land to meTo be fully appreciated,for who I amflaws and strengths combined as oneto create the perfect human being to anotherTo be so fortunate to find the complemental oneof whom to share this life

If there were only a simple way to make things happenTaking a trip straight into the arms of anotherto save all the turmoil and avoid all the agony,of mishaps and bad decisions along the waymaybe then I could find that sustainable relationship

Choosing men who are unattainableMaking that choice, because I choose me,to love myselfwith a shell of protection aroundmy mental stormI am scarred, but if I were not,I would love to be loved wholly by anotherNo games to be played, or convenient ways,just pure and simple loveTrust.

So many souls stand alone;they stand alone-together-because it is safeSafe knowing what to expect,because you are in control,of your emotions, your mind,your money, your mattersWhen you love yourself,how can you possible trust anotherWith the most valuable and precious thing you have?You.Or so I tell myself, a sheet of comfort.

Some say this desire is attainableThis life of love happens everyday

Just check your baggage at the gate

and let love find its wayBut I have lost my faithFaith in the good of people

To be loved full heartily,if it were a destination,I would surely buy the ticket

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

"Hey, girl, what took you so long?"I look into her bemused eyes,grinning and shaking my head, I say,"Oh, Lord, you have really screwed it up this time"She chuckles, wraps her arm around my shoulder,guiding me in,"Come and sit, tell me all about it"

With lattes and biscottis, we sit cross legged in the gardenand I begin....

Friday, July 31, 2009

Lingering the dayHidden behind closed doorsLocked out from the bitternessOf a cruel, bent worldRound they say it isCircling the encompassing warmthGrowth from withinIt spurts new branchesTrees of lifeUnorganically knownSpreading through the valleysTo the depths of the oceanShadows of the presentSuccumb to adventuresMeaning is lostIndifference renderedWalk forth among the commonalitySafely tucked in knowledgeThat this too shall passCreating new fondnessRidges in the creaseWith each door that opensAnother shall cease

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

You were everything I should not haveStrong and distant, mentally unstable, as IThe bond between us of a unique kindYour lips to mine, in the street,Stirring heartfelt emotions fathomedUncontrolled, consistent smile as I walk away,You stayed with me, long after we were partedThere in my mind, my heart and emotionsExcitement built, where repetition layThe constant of my daily existenceLove abound, so deeply feltHard to remember each moment may be our lastI would have held you longer,Should I have known?I would be holding you nowAs I would not have let goAlas, the future was untoldAnd opportunity has passed,The strings no longer pulling me backStubbornness streak has set inChoosing to let love standIn the memory box, tucked away in my heartComparable you will be for the presentEach new person, shall have great expectations to meetUnfairly you have set the standards highAnd I remind myself daily, that our time has gone byThe void I must fill, it is only temporaryEach day will be easier, each moment more tolerableSoon I will laugh; soon you will be a distant memoryIn place of the constant void of this unscripted lifeI miss you.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The water runsI fear to step inTo wash awayThe touch of your lingering desireForever unbathedTo keep you with meAnd once I have been cleansedAnd you have been drainedFar awayI beg you return,To once again shower meWith your kissesTo remain with meTime and again

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Blank is the sheet in front of youBlank is the mind of whichTo place thought into motionFilling the linesWith nonsensical verbiageTo be moved forwardWith unpredictable autismThe need to fill spaceTo fill mind, body and soulTo fill pagesWith the timeline of lifeInevitably to be nonexistentThose words, those memoriesDissipate along with youBlank pages replacedBlank pages continuedBy the ones who precede you,Succeed youMay the words never failMay the blank pages unfoldFulfilled

Watching the wondersOf the world going byDistant and obscureTo the significance ofThe cockroaches scurryBaring no armesUnprotected by faith alone

Life grasps the opportunityTo swoon you in it armsGuided alongThrough the flower fieldsAnd mountain top viewsBlissfully fulfilledIn moments of destructionWhere your smile standsThe shadows exist among you

Saturday, July 18, 2009

She mounts the KingA ravishing LionessStrong, and beautifulShe secures him downBeneath herTo claim her KingAnd all his worldly kingdomsDominating the hierarchyHe be-comes within herLosing himselfFor one moment in timeThey forget all transgressionsFor one moment,They simultaneously feel,They, too, can be tamed

Friday, July 17, 2009

She replies, but that can not be! You see that woman, the one by your side from the years of time past? She claims stake of your heart, rumor has it she says it is hers!

Mistaken you are! I am a free and single man. No one marks my fate, but I!

But if you call me yours, and I call you mine, you would not be free, alas, I would suppose to capture your heart and your eyes to see none other but my own! What then, would you not be in despair, no longer free to venture?

Ah, yes! This women of whom you previously spoke, she has made the same inclination! Many times over, moon, sun and earth, no sense does it make! For what is yours is mine and what is mine is mine. I give no keep sake!

Well, then, I really must be going, as I know this dreary road! Thank you for your lesson, I think there has been a terrible mistake…

Don’t go! How heartless of you! To just walk away, after I profess my love, after so much time! No shame, have you woman? I said! I love you! You are mine! Is it possible you are that cold?

Me? I am cold? No, I dare say, not! I am love, pure and good, intentions only of sweet. But I claim one man, and he must in return claim only one woman-me!

Oh! Well, you are mistaken, as I claim only one! There is only you and me!

But what of the other(s)? Are they now gone?

Oh, yes! They are my present history, you, my dear lady are my future! The universe has aligned and brought us together! Mark my word I am the best at all that I do, and loving you will be among them!

Well, what flattery you bring, kind sir! However, I will require time, your time and attention, not gifts and adornments in the secret of night…. What say you to that?

How dare you profess that I commit so much! You ask me to guide you in the streets for all to see, parading you around as an ornament to my single life! I can not have this, and you must accept this!

Ah, but I can not; I must be going, to find a new path. The universe has misled us and our paths should not have crossed, I fear the universe cruel to have guided me to you, leaving me in self-doubt, as thus far I have believed your lies…

There are no errors in the skies! The Gods have brought you to me, and we shall be together! And spare me tales of lies spoken, I merely tell you what you like! It is for you in mind, to protect you!

And what say her, the one who claims your heart? Does she know you love another?

Well, she is a constant and will always be there, you must understand!? She will be the one to walk by my side, and you will be the one to comfort me. She need not know, I would not want to hurt her!

Oh! How daring you are! The audacity to assume this is acceptable! The delight of which you find in the trivial pursuit of your own selfish gain! I believe you to be ill!

Ah, but I am man. I am success. I get what I want, when I say. Come now, let’s go, hold me for a bit, then leave me to my own devices and return to me in three days time.

That’s it then? I just accept this small portion of which you offer? I am obliged to be obedient and nurturing to your needs, and place my own aside?

Ah, my love, you understand now! How great it is to know that you are not as ignorant as at once I thought! Come now, lets go, this talking is so tiresome, come and hold me dear love, time is running short.

May I make one request, one that you must honor?

So long as no engagements, weddings, or announcements are made, I will grant you one!That is how much I love you!

I must hear from her, this other woman, and her blessings of our being together. Have her call me, and once she does, if all is well, I will come to you straight away. If you have been deceiving, well then, it was good knowing you, kind sir.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Strong, independent womanShe walks with herselfon the tightrope of lifeCautious ofthe conformity withinEtching her wayto create her ownStubbornly consoledin the ease of a solitary beingShe vows to take the struggles aloneFrustrations jump to greet herstaring her downfacing these new challengesShe is told she needs someone with herFear awakens within her soulToo tenacious to askfor the help of anotherHer biggest faultTo the untrained eyeHer prideSubstance of lifeholding no threat to the mind’sresistanceThe biggest battlecoming from withinIt will meet her in the endas the greatest challengeTo succeedHer pride must never win

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

She seeks for loveHe seeks to retain itShe searches for moreHe feels secure with what isShe is unfulfilledHe is content in their waysShe doubts her decision, to be with himHe is confident they are meant to beShe sees the truth for what it isHe is blind to her unsettlementShe speaksHe does not hearShe opens her heartHe holds it all inShe reaches for a manHe withdraws within

About Me

Just a simple girl with many thoughts and too much time alone with them. I write with human emotions, I am not; however, depressed, morbid, angry....any thing but a normal girl. Many times already, I would like to leave a note of what each piece means to me, but I leave that to the reader to decide--as that is the beauty of art. Interpretation.
Some pieces may not be what they seem...is what I mean.