The first of everything.

“It happens like this. One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else—closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps because this person carries an angel within them—one sent to you for some higher purpose, to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them—even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering—the reason for their presence will become clear in due time.

Though here is a word of warning—you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn’t to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled, the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exits your life. They will be a stranger to you once more.

That’s because the light is coming from you. You can’t see it but everyone else can.”

— Lang Leav. “Love & Misadventure.” iBooks.

This is a very good poem. And actually this one answers all of my questions about life. The ones I could never understand why. I tried, but I end up hurting myself. But as the time goes by, I finally can understand why things happened one at a time.

And here’s my thought,

Well, maybe falling in love and broken heart will always going to be someone’s part of growing up. And usually, it happens in your teenage life, the first time of everything. Your first falling in love will thrill you the most, and also your first broken-heart would hurt you the most. And, we, teenage, often see a relationship is as pure as sharing an unconditionally love, that kind of love who will fight for everything to be with the one we love the most. And the fact that maybe it’s more than that.

Maybe that person help you to find who you truly are, maybe they teach you how to love yourself, or how to save yourself. Maybe this person comes when you feel like you’re not worthy, you didn’t feel wanted, you feel like you mean nothing to this whole world, maybe you feel like no one would ever love the darkest side of you, and suddenly this strangers came and say that you are the most beautiful creature they’ve ever seen, and turns out that your darkest side is their favorite. And suddenly every theory changes, every painful memories faded, you feel like life is a gift, and even earth is not the one who’s holding the gravity, it’s them. You worship them. You thank God, because you feel saved. You feel like they give you a meaning why you were exist. This whole time you feel like an unworthy human being, but suddenly you feel so special. They literally save you. You finally started to love yourself and be grateful about this life, and you are able to be loved. You are not horrible. You ever felt that?

And the minute you felt all that miracles, that unexpected moment that you thought you would never feel. You feel like you’re the most special person on this whole wide world, because you are simply lucky to have experienced it all. Well, maybe almost everybody has felt that, to be saved. And they come up with their own version broken heart story. And that’s why almost every teenage girls are screaming about it.

When you finally realise you’re beautiful, you’re worthy, you are enough. Well, the lesson’s learned. and yeah, the angel has to leave the body, that’s the moment when finally you realise that you have to let them go. Maybe they hurt you, maybe they broke your heart, all the promises are just words. When it felt like hell to remember those words, “I will always fight for you, no matter how hard the condition is, I will love you unconditionally.” That hurts the most to see the fact that they actually left. They didn’t leave, it’s just simply the angel leaves their body. The lesson has ended, and I just simply have to take a higher class. I’ve passed this one..

So…

Dear everyone who feels the same way,

You don’t have to feel like this is your fault. You feel like at the end of the day that you’re not enough. That nobody will ever love you completely. He doesn’t have to. You have to do it yourself anyway. And, you don’t have to hate him. Life will works for you,and you can’t be mad if life works for him too. He deserves to be happy, like you do right? You just have to try… to simply see him as a passed lesson. He was a good teacher, he taught you well. And let it remain untouchable. Leave is as a good memories, he will always be part of you, part of who you are now, because maybe without him you won’t be here now, so you don’t hate them. You have to thank them, to teach you lesson in the most beautiful way. it’s the goodbye who hurt you, the fact that you want some more.

It was not a mistake after all. By this writing i understand one more lesson.

Since now, I will never hate you again. I will never hurt myself again to think that it’s all my fault, or yours. I will see you as a person who helped me. And I will thank you for that. I don’t have to compare my next one with you. Because people are all different, and I know someone will teach me different lessons someday. You are part of my life, and I can’t delete that from my life.

Here is how I see you,you are one of many pages of my life,
you give me lessons,but, well, your page is over,
and my book is a long way to go,
I can’t stuck in one page for my whole life,

You are meant to be passed on,
I’m not meant to read one page for my whole life,
And you should too,
And I can’t be mad at you if you did,

We all moved on,we all turn pages of our life

and it’s not a bad thing or even the things we should be sad about,
it’s just as simply as turning a new chapter of life,and I know,

many pages are waiting for me,
they are ready to give me lessons,
so much more to learn,

this life is pretty amazing and really is a miracle,
we need so many lessons to learn how to survive it,

we can’t live with just ‘that’ one lesson,
there’s still so much more to come.