I haven’t written anything since coming back from home; it has been about a week now. Not that I was too busy. In fact, I skipped the office for two days, still it was too stressful. Indeed, I cried alone at nights, and cried until I fall asleep. There were times I wanted to write, and just write it out, but then again I controlled myself–and I didn’t have that much energy to write too–I just was too much tired, of everything!

Audrey Hepburn (Doesn't she look cute?)

While coming back from home, I informed master just a couple of hours ago that I’m leaving, and he said “what shall I do now?” That “what shall I do now?” sounded too much like what shall I do now for the rest of my life. I know there was a tone of such. What shall I do now is really a big question!!

Stress was so high that I felt for a moment that I should go asleep and should not awake for the next 73 years at least. I know a psychologist would pass it as a passive suicidal ideation; a major concern on its own for depressed mood. I need to handle myself; and I’m trying to do it, a bit more systemically.

Came back home around 6 p.m., had a bath, watched a bit of My Fair Lady (and Audrey Hepburn looks awesome in the scene where she pronounces “H” correctly for the first time).

Trying to have some lighter moments (afraid they will boomerang back on me)!

N.B. The post title is a song from the movie The Fair Lady. Professor Higgins uses this sentence to polish up Eliza’s accent of vowel “A”. Image from http://www.fabaudrey.com