January 29, 2004

Jean Grae is Not Happy

Iím most probably going to get a phone call both from my label and publicist about writing this, but honestly, Iím just tired of mincing my words and being nice about shit. I havenít really written a lot on allhiphop in a second, mostly because Iím too damn frustrated with everything to write as a hobby. Iím angry, Iím tired and close to spazing out about a lot of shit.

I hate this industry. I hate the music business because it has shit to do with music. I grew up in a family of independent struggling musicians and Iím sick of being a part of that cycle. Iím tired of fighting harder than everyone else to even just get a little bit. I donít even know why I f**king put my heart into doing this when itís obvious that so many people who donít, get what they want out of it. The financial unstability of this is driving me crazy. Why do I have to keep turning out entire albums or releases full of music when some cat can spit on a mixtape once, or give someone a pound and then get on immediately? Why try to do something thatís apparently so f**king different and impossible, that I have to defend it to myself everyday?

I hate myself for dumping my all into this. If I was smarter I wouldnít have pursued this career. Iím older than most people already established in this business and Iím not thinking of the money coming out of it for balling out purposes. I want to be a mom soon, I want to have some sort of steadiness in my life, but with this job that is close to a damn impossibility right now...

In all seriousness, I've always been a big fan of Jean and it sucks to see her facing such frustration.