Welcome

Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

I engaged in a mutual blow job and masturbation session with a random man (no condom), and neither of us came. There must have been some exchange of bodily fluids (low risk doesn't equal no risk, I suppose), because my viral load 2 weeks later was >100,000. As a professional in the medical world (and incidentally, a past HIV counselor), I recognized the prodrome symptoms (i.e. flu-like illness) and asked my PCP to test my viral load, who immediately referred me to a specialist (and, of course, drew confirmatory testing). Just yesterday, I officially "seroconverted" using a rapid test I stole from the clinic at the hospital where I work.

I feel like I'm probaby not dealing with everything right now. There hasn't been very much emotion. I know it will all take time for things to come out, but I feel like I have had worse emotions during my last breakup. At least then, there were tears. Maybe I have just found a way to actually believe what I have been counseling my patients on for the last couple of years (it is still early in my training).... you know, the part where they tell you "this is just another chronic illness". Which I suppose would be true, if the name didn't carry such baggage.

I think, you never really want to hear this news. But if you had a choice of the "perfect" situation, I think this would be it. My BF (HIV neg) is sticking by my side, I have wonderful doctors, I have extremely supportive friends, and I'm sure my family will be equally supportive (when I tell them in a year, probably).

I feel like I did when I first came out -- and had my first boyfriend. I would say it out loud, "He is my boyfriend", in disbelief that those words were actually coming from my mouth. "Having a boyfriend", "Being gay", etc were labels I wasn't prepared to accept, and right now... I'm getting used to the sound coming from my mouth saying "I am HIV positive".

I suppose that's it for now, I just wanted to introduce myself to the group. I do have many, many questions about how everyone is dealing (especially those of you in relationships), but I will save those for future posts. Best wishes to everyone out there.

I engaged in a mutual blow job and masturbation session with a random man (no condom), and neither of us came. There must have been some exchange of bodily fluids (low risk doesn't equal no risk, I suppose), because my viral load 2 weeks later was >100,000. As a professional in the medical world (and incidentally, a past HIV counselor), I recognized the prodrome symptoms (i.e. flu-like illness) and asked my PCP to test my viral load, who immediately referred me to a specialist (and, of course, drew confirmatory testing). Just yesterday, I officially "seroconverted" using a rapid test I stole from the clinic at the hospital where I work.

Hey poz,

Welcome to the forums.

I note your VL results but I'm wondering, did you have your positive ELISA test confirmed by Western Blot (stolen or otherwise)?

BUT, this was only 2-3 weeks after the exposure. I will have another one sent off at my next appointment, but I'm not holding my breath. I think the next decision will be: to treat or not to treat. Any ideas?

philly267 -- I suppose there must have been some pre-cum, and I don't have the best gums in the world, and we did make out (i.e. kiss) as well. That, and he was uncut, and also probably acutely infected, which would have also made it easier to transmit. I must admit, tho, I have gone through my fair share of denial (esp. w/ regard to the "low risk" nature of the encounter in conjunction with my lab values.). But on the flip side, I did have a pretty characteristic "prodrome" illness, swollen lymph nodes all over the place, have had very low platelets, very low white count, and several viral load titers in the 5-6 digit range.

While it is the case that viral load testing can produce false positive results, these results are generally less than a couple thousand copies / mL (as opposed to >100,000 and 87,500 in my case). Obviously, I would love to entertain the notion that I am not positive, but you cannot only rely on ELISA/Western blot testing in an acute infection. It takes time to develop antibodies to the virus, and I think my clinical presentation has been pretty much by the book. If anyone has heard of similar cases turning up negative at the end of the day, I'd be happy to continue this thread elsewhere.

Pozmd, very sorry to hear that you might be joining the ranks - hoping it might turn out to be a mistake, but if not, then welcome.

I too suspected my seroconversion illness as I was experiencing it, but tested first indeterminate and then negative for p24 and negative on WB. A few months later antibodies had emerged and I tested positive.

You'd be far from alone in having contracted HIV via oral sex - there's a fair few on these boards who believe they were infected this way. It is probably rarer still for it to happen via pre-cum but I certainly don't believe it to be inconceivable. As you will have gathered, this subject seems to provoke strong feelings amongst some members of this board, but please don't let the rough ride you've had on the site so far keep you from using it in future.

Welcome back, regardless of your source of infection hopefully you can educate yourself and your BF here and get the resources you need to make intelligent decisions reagrding your health and your relationship.