Tuesday, September 07, 2004

311

Not the charmingly genre-defiant band but the mysterious New York City complaint service.

I called them today to complain about two things:

1) The water fountain at Cooper Park - where I play basketball - which has been either exceptionally warm and funky or just plain trickling since the summer began. I told them to trick it out.

2) A pothole at the intersection of Graham Ave. and Meeker. I lied and told them my car had gotten a flat tire, just driving over it. Kablamo! If the city doesn't fix it, I told her, my car and my family might blow an axle next time and careen into a school. Really, it's just scared me a number of times. But disaster could strike. It's a brutal and strategically placed pothole.

Has anyone else used this service? The thought of direct access to the City infrastructure makes me feel loved and protected. I don't know how quickly they'll attack these problems. But the woman I talked to was very nice and her voice filled me with hope. I asked what the general problems people called up with were. Mrs. 311 told me noise and potholes.

I will report back with updates on these trivial but tangible problems and how quickly they are remedied. Start making noise so I can complain about that too.

3 Comments:

I used 311 when both my hot-water heater AND my boiler went to pot last February. My landlord, an ever-thrifty fellow, obvisouly decided that he could save some money if he went with contractors who would make the project a C-List priority. Seeing as how I work from home (and was doing so in a fur coat), I figured it was high time to complain after 72 hours of no heat.

Unfortunately, the operator I spoke with failed to inform me that I could file my complaint anonymously until AFTER he submitted it. Thanks, dude.

I know for sure that they spent the next 24 hours calling him at home. About every hour, too. Whether or not he was fined remains an unknown but I would love it if it was several times the amount he was planning on "saving."

Still took the bastard a week to get us heat and hot water. In February.

Thank you Cas for commending this new friendly service (as kindness is practically a rarity in NY bureaucracy). I recently reported an obstructed traffic light at the horrid intersection of E34th St and the Midtown Tunnel. 311 promptly transferred my call to the Dept of Parks & Rec and they will swiftly remove the little tree that was the problem. Why must we destroy nature instead of moving the light? Nature must be more easily bullied...

Since I've called 311, neither thing I mentioned were fixed. But I'm not giving up yet. The water fountain issue may have come up too late as the season for outdoor sports is fast fading. But I shall continue to study my pothole for improvement. Sounds like you both made NYC work for you. As it should!