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Topic : 10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 136

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Created on : Friday, September 29, 2006, 09:45:49 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil has reinforcement today – Robin joins him to answer all your burning questions! They also have special help from several speakers from Women of Faith, a faith-based organization encouraging women of all ages to grow in faith and spiritual maturity. First up are best friends, Barbara and Laurie, who both suffer from agoraphobia. Laurie hates to be in crowded places, and Barbara can’t comfortably leave a five-mile radius of her home. It’s a vicious cycle they’ve been sharing for 16 years. Patsy, a Women of Faith speaker who lost six years of her life to agoraphobia, shares how the women can get over their disorder. Then, Marilyn has been afraid of catching germs since she was in the 6th grade, and even gives her friends latex gloves to wear! What’s behind her fears? And, Jodi wrote to Dr. Phil because she doesn’t trust her husband, Scott’s, ability to fly his homemade helicopter. Scott says his wife needs to be more trusting. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a mom who says she never puts herself first wants Robin’s help. Talk about the show here.

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Phobia

Dr. Phil,

I was watching your show today and you said that any phobia could be overcome. I am deathly afraid of bees/wasps/anything else that stings. I have never been stung (as far as I remember) but it is very difficult for me to function when there is one flying around. I remember one instance when I was outside and ran from a bee, and it chased me. It has gotten to the point where I am afraid to wear yellow (that's what I was wearing when I was chased) and I won't go outside when I see one flying around. I am 22 and will graduate from college soon, as a Social Studies teacher, and I don't know that I could remain calm if one were to fly into my classroom when I am teaching one day. Aside from actually being stung, is there a way to overcome this fear?

Women of Faith

I found it incredibly interesting how little Dr. Phil and Robin focused on the Women of Faith and their true message. The message of Christianity. They also had Sandy Patty sing on the show... she is a Christian music singer! Why can Dr. Phil talk about muslims and weird religions where they kept people captive for years, but he can't talk about Christianity? Just wondering.

The helicopter builder

This is information for Mr. and Mrs Helicopter builders;

There is was a helicopter pilot in St. Louis in the early 80's named Alan Barklage. He was a helicopter pilot in Viet Nam; he flew all kinds of risky missions; he also was involved in rescues of people, locally in various situations. In the late 70's, early 80s, he was also hijacked and forced to participate in a prison break at Marion Federal Penitentiary. He ended up disarming the bad guy while flying the helicopter. and the escape was unsuccessful. Alan Barklage also did the traffic report here in St. Louis He loved helicopters and was an EXCELLENT pilot. He then built a helicopter himself. He went up, had some trouble; tried to avoid power lines; crashed - and died!

* So........ if Mr. Helicopter Builder's ego, is more important than his family, then by all means, he should fly his helicopter.

I wihd the family luck and I hope his life insurance is sufficient to take care of his family, if something happens.

Misty - advice from a daughter

I hope Misty reads the message board (or if not, I hope it's because she's too busy being pampered). I wanted to say something from the standpoint of being a daughter of someone sort of like you. My mom really never did anything for herself. Growing up, I saw her just cook and clean and rarely socialize, though she did go get her hair done once a week, but that was in the "helmet hair" days, you know. I have to tell you, it's very important to demonstrate to your children that you are a person, not just a mom and maid, and that you have your own needs, your own passions and that you think enough of yourself to make sure you have time to not just serve others. Because what you're saying to your kids, and what they will perceive once they're a little older, is that drudgery is what it means to be a wife and mother.

The other thing that sometimes happens in a situation when one person is sacrificing everything is that at some point, they resent the people they sacrificed for. They may feel, as I did, that at times, that since you put all your energy into others and didn't have a life of your own, that you are living through them and expect them them to live your life . This may not happen until the kids are teenagers or even adults, but at some point, you may discover that they respect you less. Your kids will have more respect for you and, more importantly, for themselves as young adults who begin to form their own relationships, if they have someone to model after who values themselves more. You don't want your sons to choose their partner just based on whether they will give up everything for him and just cook and clean, do you? Wouldn't he be better off with a maid and marry someone who really stimulates him? Wouldn't you rather they chose someone with high self-esteem? And for daughters, show your daughters that they can do anything they want, that they're not here to be a slave to their husband and children. Show her that you can be happy and pursue interests just for yourself and continue to have friends and do things like a normal person as well as love your family so that she won't view marriage as incarceration, as I did after watching my mother in what looked like a very barren existence as I was growing up. Seriously, I had no interest in marriage, having watched what then the typical existence for a 1950s housewife. Times have changes. For goodness sake, take advantage of it. If you keep going this way, your life will be one big void once your kids leave home. Keep some of yourself in reserve, and you will end up giving more in the end, I promise.

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

There is was a helicopter pilot in St. Louis in the early 80's named Alan Barklage. He was a helicopter pilot in Viet Nam; he flew all kinds of risky missions; he also was involved in rescues of people, locally in various situations. In the late 70's, early 80s, he was also hijacked and forced to participate in a prison break at Marion Federal Penitentiary. He ended up disarming the bad guy while flying the helicopter. and the escape was unsuccessful. Alan Barklage also did the traffic report here in St. Louis He loved helicopters and was an EXCELLENT pilot. He then built a helicopter himself. He went up, had some trouble; tried to avoid power lines; crashed - and died!

* So........ if Mr. Helicopter Builder's ego, is more important than his family, then by all means, he should fly his helicopter.

I wihd the family luck and I hope his life insurance is sufficient to take care of his family, if something happens.

I agree. He is using this contraption as an extension of his manhood. He would be far more of a man if he would stop and consider the welfare of the children for 10 seconds. I used to be a pro motorcycle rider, so I understand risk taking and being passionate, but I NEVER would have pursued it if I'd had kids depending on me. That guy needs to grow up, but the truth is, he probably won't, and if he acquiesces and agrees not to fly it, from now on he will resent his wife, and maybe even his children for him not attaining his dream. I guess the truth is, if this is the most important thing in his life, and it appears to be, he could benefit from in-depth psychological counseling. Sorry it took his wife this long to understand who he's really married to and who the baby of the family is. This is one of those things that will probably filter down to the kids and divide the household entirely. Sad to say. Unless I'm wrong and he can suck it up and be a man instead of being the little boy with his toy.

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

I found it incredibly interesting how little Dr. Phil and Robin focused on the Women of Faith and their true message. The message of Christianity. They also had Sandy Patty sing on the show... she is a Christian music singer! Why can Dr. Phil talk about muslims and weird religions where they kept people captive for years, but he can't talk about Christianity? Just wondering.

Are you sure you aren't just being ultra sensitive?

He might also be trying to keep people who aren't religious interested too.

Helicopter Builder.

Everyone is basing their opinion on how it looks....Which really doesnt mean anything.... If its air worthy and mechinally sound then I dont see a problem. As long as hes smart about it and starts with small, low level flights and maybe over water just incase something happens....

I dont see the difference between flying that for the first time or jumping out of plane/paragliding, BASE Jumping for the first time....

Let her go

Am I the only mother in the world who wont let her 14 year old daughter go to the homecoming dance at her high school. I think she is too young to go to a dance and get all dolled up like a twenty year old. Am I doing the right thing?

Of course you should let her go to the homecoming dance. When I was younger, my father used to lecture me that I should go to dances instead of staying home, for purposes of socializing with others. I never really got into school dances until I was in high school. I think I was about your daughter's age back then. Believe me, fourteen is NOT, I repeat NOT, too young to attend a school dance.

Many students go to school dances basically to socialize with other kids and have fun, to begin with. These are usually dry, clean events (no alcohol or drugs) and security and parent chaperones are usually hired to keep things from getting out of control. This coming from someone who's been boys social convenor at his high school for two years in a row.

Mind you, when I was going to dances, people dressed very casually or formally depending on what they wanted - blue jeans, slacks, dress shirts, chic dresses and skirts down to the knee, etc - basically nice enough to be seen as acceptable. Hardly anybody (very few that I knew of) came dressed like prostitutes, or like they stepped off the cover of Maxim and Stuff magazines. (The music they played was also good back then, unlike today, where they've got all this hip-hop/rap stuff, and cookie-cutter "woe is me" rock bands like Nickelback, and punk poseur artists like Avril Lavigne and Good Charlotte, which would have most kids with musical tastes avoiding school dances like the plague, but that's a post for another day.)

You should not deprive your daughter of having a good time, but tell her it's not necessary to be dolled up like a 20 year old. Not all girls go to these events dressed like this. Help her pick out an acceptable outfit - perhaps she has a nice dress in her closet, or you could help her shop for one. If the dress to this thing is casual, just tell her to go in a pair of jeans and an acceptable-looking shirt, or a nice dress and blouse ensemble. Your daughter will love you for it, especially when she gets home and tells you what a wonderful time she's had

Misti mother lost

Dr. Phil,

My name is Jennifer Fowler. I have know Misti for over 20 years. We lost contact over 15 years ago. I would love to be reunited with her. We went to grade school, middle school, and high school together. We were good friends. Would you be so kind as to get us back together. On your show I thought I heard you say she lives in TN. Well I live rather close in VA.