Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Wednesday

At the moment the days seem to be passing in a bit of a blur. Suddenly I am very tired most of the time, which is not like me at all.

Today, in a bid to perk myself up, I took my daughter in law to the garden centre and while there we had a bit of lunch in the cafe. It is a beautiful day today - the best of the year so far; the sun shone and there was little wind. But even so, when I arrived home I went and lay on the bed and slept for a couple of hours. Not like my usual self at all.Suddenly Spring is busting out all over. There is even May blossom (hawthorn blossom) out on the sheltered hedges (quite often we are almost into June before that happens here in the North of England).Yesterday I packed a box of cut glass items and when I have finished on my blog I intend to pack a box of Minton china. One job a day is my motto.Seven weeks today since the farmer's death. On Sunday we intend to scatter his ashes back on to the farm land where he has spent all his life. Another milestone.

33 comments:

It's good to sleep, especially when your body asks you to. I even had a nap before lunch today. It would have been my husband's 89th birthday yesterday. I hope the weather is fair on Sunday for you all. One day at a time.x

We scattered my fathers ashes in the river Dart n Dartmoor. He was born and grew up in Dartmouth before going off to fight the Japanese in Burma. My son paddled in the Dart as a toddler so it seemed a nice place to see him off. Death is very final but memories are not, we always keep someone of the person we loved about us, which is comforting I think.

I think your present tiredness is quite natural. With all you have been through lately you have just had to keep going. Now your body needs to recuperate a bit. I know when my parents passed away I was on 'auto pilot' through all the arrangements but afterwards it almost felt like a very weary anti climax for a while. As justjill wrote, listen to your body. Give it some time to recover between enjoying the company of friends and a bit of good weather.

My husband died ten years ago. At first I did everything I needed to,all the paperwork and donating some things, and then after some weeks, I couldn't do any more. I was very tired. I think this is not so unusual. Be kind to yourself....Take care of yourself. You are doing so well! How fitting that your husband's ashes will be on the land he loved and cared for for so long.

Dea Pat, of course you're tired - that's not surprising, it's been a helluva few months - way before your dear husband's actual death. Do be kind to yourself, I found there were surprising jolts; the day I felt wonderful, then plummeted, probably because I'd been so pleased and thought I was over the hump.... well the hump whacked me! What a fitting place to lay the Farmer to rest, part of the land he loved so dearly. Thinking of you. Hugs.

Well it is a new day, and the sun is shining hear in Normanby so I expect it is shining in your corner of the world. Enjoy the day, sleep when you need to and the Farmer is at rest amongst his fields. X

I think spreading the farmer's ashes is perfect. We spread my father's ashes along the rail line where he spent many hours as a child watching trains, his real passion, and we spread my mother's ashes along the riverbank of her childhood farm. It's a very restorative process. As all the rest have said, listen to your body and have a nap. Take care,-Jenn

Like others have commented before me, your tiredness is not unusual given the circumstances, and if your body and mind demand some rest, give in when you can.After my husband died 7 1/2 years ago, scattering his ashes near where his Dad's had been scattered 25 yesrs earlier was the best and natural thing to do. As you say, another milestone.

I truly believe our body let's us know what it wants, and due to your circumstances, I'm not surprised you are needing more naps. Scattering the Farmer's ashes will certainly be a milestone and I hope you have a lovely sunny day for it.

You have had a lot on your plate over the past 7 weeks... planning, paperwork, cleaning out and packing, as well as the emotions of grieving which can be surprisingly exhausting. I agree with Linda, just rest when needed. Grieving and changing house and home are very large tasks for anyone.

I'm not surprised that your body is feeling in need of a rest - you have been through a lot and now you are packing away the memories, and preparing yourself to spread the Farmer's ashes on his beloved farm. It was two years before I felt up to dealing with taking mum back to spread her ashes in Hampshire, and even then it wasn't easy. Don't be too hard on yourself. Rest is good.

Oh, Pat, what you are going through is exhausting. Let yourself nap when you need to, sit and just do nothing now and then (okay, I'm not very good at that myself). Let your being heal. You are in my thoughts.