Their Fourth of July is in January

January 26, 2012

So it’s Australia Day today. Yes, we celebrate Australia Day here at Renal Failure because our number one fan Nursemyra lives there, and that’s about all we know about Australia Day, or Australia. No, we know a few other things, like Kylie Minogue’s from Australia too.

Anyway, we’re going to celebrate the Nursemyra way, and that means getting our Renal Failure girls into corsets. This is easier said than done.

“I wear nothing tighter than the lycra shorts I wear when I do charity bike events,” says Tina the Lesbian. “Except for that one time I wore Spanx to the girls bar. Wasn’t proud of myself that night…”

“My wardrobe is centered around a simple principle: can I do a backflip in it?” says Ninja Vicki. “No one does backflips in corsets.”

“Victoria’s just bitter because she’s flat-chested,” says Samurai Cathy. “She looks the same in a tanktop as she would in a corset.”