I am a life-long entrepreneur and startup expert living in Sisters, Oregon and I am the Founder and CEO of Mighty Wise Academy: A Virtual Academy For Entrepreneurship. I am also a mentor and advisor for multiple startup companies. If you'd like to learn what it really takes to become a successful entrepreneur, you can connect with me here >>.

Why "No" is the Most Powerful Word You Can Use in 2013

Saying “no” to actually leap forward and move ahead in life. Seems like you’d be taking a wrong turn to say “no” to good opportunities frequenting your doorstep.

But you’d be wrong. Saying this one little word can be the most liberating and success filled action you can ever take.

Let me explain:

As we head into 2013; my biggest challenge as a business owner, writer on Forbes, husband, father and serial entrepreneur is learning how to say “no”. If your life is anything like mine; it’s full to the brim and mostly overflowing. Way too much to do; and not nearly enough time to do it in.

Wife to love; kids to nurture; business to run; interviews to do; articles to write; entrepreneurs to mentor; trails to hike; horses to ride and cats to feed.

Sound familiar?

Listen — you and I have exactly 24 hours in a day. And guess what? So does Bill Gates, Tom Cruise and President Obama. Yes — we’re on equal ground with these guys in this category.

So at the end of the day (literally), the most important thing any of us can be doing is effectively managing our time. Which in essence is nothing more than knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.

Entrepreneur Perry Marshall calls it “opportunity discernment”. Jeff Walker calls it the most important thing you can learn how to do.

Ever wonder why some people just seem to get all the breaks in life? C-notes falling from the sky making a beeline direct for their bank account?

Well, in my opinion, it’s not luck. These guys have just nailed the skill of saying no. Knowing which opportunities to pursue and which ones to discard.

Take for instance a recent story of Jason Fried of 37 Signals. Jason had a product which was banking some good coin. But it was also sucking resources and didn’t really fit with their mission. So what did he do? He canned it. Said “no” to the 6 figure opportunity and it went bye-bye.

So as I look to 2013 in perfecting my own ability to discern which opportunities to pursue and which ones to say no to; here are 3 things I plan to focus on:

“Purpose is a soft virtue — but it’s what gives you steel in your spine.”

And I for one agree with him. Knowing your purpose and mission as an entrepreneur is the pad from which you launch. It’s the solid ground on which you stand. It’s the steel in your spine.

And the better understanding you have of your purpose and mission; the easier it is to measure every opportunity against it.

For example, my mission at Mighty Wise is to empower startup and struggling entrepreneurs. Period. So if an opportunity comes along for me to get involved in helping General Motors run their auto business attached to a million dollar paycheck — am I going to go for it? The answer is no. It doesn’t fit my purpose and mission.

So get your purpose and mission figured out now. As the rockin’ country song goes; “you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything…”

2.) Use a Simple Tool to Judge Opportunities

So what happens with the opportunities that do match up with my purpose and mission? Do I chase every one of them? Again, the answer is no. It’s still too many to choose from and not all of them are equal.

As I was struggling with this issue of how to know which opportunities to go after; I came up with a simple system for measurement. Written on a sticky note and plastered to my computer monitor is the following:

1X

10X

100X

No opportunity arriving at the front door of my business life gets through without being assigned a 1X, 10X or 100X rating.

Let’s say Richard Branson calls me up and offers to fly me down to board his yacht for a week of discussion on how best to help startup and struggling entrepreneurs. Yes Sir Richard — you’ve just been given a 100X rating.

Now let’s say my mom wants me to interview her for 15 minutes on how to start a business. Well, even though I love my mother dearly, she knows nothing of starting businesses. Sorry mom — but you get a 1X for that opportunity.

Yes — these are extreme examples, but planted on paper here so you can see the point. So do you?

3.) Overcoming the Fear of Missing Out

If you’re anything like me; you have a fear of making the wrong decision. Sitting on pins and needles struggling with “what if I say no to this — but it turns out to be the opportunity of a lifetime?”

Ever been there? Me too.

But I think here is the deal: You have to realize you will not get everything exactly right anyway. And that’s okay. Nailing every decision with 100% accuracy is a fairy tale. It’s just not going to happen.

So the key is overcoming any fear we have about making the wrong decision because a lot of times we will simply “decide not to decide”. Which is an ugly thing called procrastination.

And believe me — procrastination from being afraid to decide is a monster dream killer. Run far and fast from this one.

Movers and shakers in the world of business are really good at saying no.

As a thought leader yourself developing new ideas, relationships and strategies; you should absolutely be overwhelmed with opportunity. Beating a path to your front door the opportunities should be lining up. Deals you can do. Products you can create. Partnerships you can form.

And this is an amazing thing. So much opportunity it makes others green with envy.

But don’t be a fool and believe they are all equal. Grab this wisdom; use it and know deep inside when you say “no”; you’re opening the floodgates to success.

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Comments

While I appreciate your thought process, I couldn’t disagree more with your conclusions. The role of a leader is not to limit worldview because it’s more convenient, but to expand it regardless of the challenge. I published the following piece on Forbes almost a year ago, which suggests “yes” is much more productive than “no.”

Great insight Mike. I like your post from last year and agree with the power of “yes”. As John Lennon stated many years ago, he was overwhelmed with an art exhibit put together by Yoko Ono where the main feature was looking through a telescope at a corner of the ceiling to reveal the word “yes” written in small letters.

However, do you believe an entrepreneur also needs the skill of “opportunity discernment” in this day where we are deluged from every angle with more information and opportunities than we can humanly handle on our own?

I find if I personally say “yes” to everything coming my way for me to get involved in — I get both personal “mission” creep and the unenviable position of under delivering. In reality, I simply cannot interview all 100 entrepreneurs who come to me this week wanting to be on Forbes. Thus, saying a gentle “no” is a liberating word indeed.

I never suggested saying yes to everything, but rather only using no as a last resort. The best leaders position themselves to be able to say yes rather than no – they teach people how to get to a yes.

I think leaders often paint themselves into corners by viewing things through an either/or lens when it’s quite possible to often have both. Clearly focus is important, but too many fall into the trap of justifying tunnel vision by referring to it as focus. Focus is only valuable if it advances the mission rather than stalls it.

Mike & Eric - Thanks for the great perspectives on “getting to YES” and “the power of NO”. I enjoy the wisdom that both of you have shared on many related topics – and I have to think that both of really apply both perspectives… Don’t we all learn to say No to hundreds of “opportunities” so that we can get to Yes for those that best fit our vision and mission? I think it would be worth pursuing this topic as we start the new year – a practical, tactical topic with strategic implications.

Not being able to say no at the proper moment has really cost a lot of people. We do not need to take and apply this only to business but virtually so many other aspects of our life. Believe me Eric sometimes we are afraid to say no to people we hold high in society or business but that is very dangerous because that ‘no’ may be for the good of the company or the situation we might be facing and the decisions to be made thereof. Well these are my thoughts I stand to be corrected.

The inability to say “no” in a peer pressure situation (whether business or personal) can be forever harmful. That’s why knowing what you stand for (mission, purpose and values) is important so you can say “no” when needed.

What a wonderful article! “ No” is perhaps the most important word we need to use in a regular basis. Great way to describe the constant pressure of “opportunities” and distractions that really take us out of focus and consume the time we have to move our projects and goals ahead.