ABC's Zero Hour: Will You Be Continuing With Ze Search for Ze Clockkkks?

Zero Hour descended upon us this Thursday as ABC premiered its drama about a magazine publisher roped into a very old conspiracy involving Rosicrucians, Nazis, milky eyed babies and treasure maps.

ER‘s Anthony Edwards stars as Hank Galliston, a champion for truth and transparency as the owner of Modern Skeptic Magazine. His life is extremely mild-mannered until wife Laila (Jacinda Barrett) picks up at a flea market one of a dozen clocks assembled during WWII and gifted to a new generation of apostles — as in the apostles. My namesake Matthew, Mark, Luke…. Even Bartholomew. And he seldom gets press.

The mission of the Apostles 2.0, as ultimately explained by one of the aged clockmakers — in a wonderfully colorful voice thick with immediacy — to Hank’s two young staffers: To scatter to all corners of the globe and safeguard a centuries-old secret that could pit religion against religion, country against country, “destroy the world” and, just maybe, finds dogs and cats living together.

After his wife is abducted, Hank follows a lead, embedded within a diamond hidden inside New Bartholomew’s clock, to a far-off stretch of frozen tundra. There, he finds a long-submerged Nazi vessel populated by a long-frozen crew… including his own doppelgänger.

There was also a super-freaky Nazi-manufactured baby that looked like this during the war but grew up to be (or sire?) “White Vincent” (Michael Nyqvist) aka the terrorist who took Laila and was last seen traversing the arctic about to intercept Hank, who is freshly shell-shocked by the discovery of his frozen “self.”

If I mangled any of the details above… well, you cannot blame me. But you get the gist. Now, tell us what you thought of Zero Hour.