i am thankful for being shown time and again how to be present – and that being present is what and where i am meant to be.

even though you, dear ego, continue to try and override me – telling me i need to be “doing” something, “accomplishing” rather than just being with my daughter. its a constant battle and a continuous reminder of how little time i will actually have with her.

and, dear ego, i am accomplishing and doing something. i am giving my daughter attention and presence. hoping she will be more grounded and present than myself – from an earlier age. i am showing her love and that she is more important than any “accomplishment”.

so, dear ego, while i know you will always be ready to jump in, feel free to relax, take some naps, go on vacation – maybe find a new job.

Like this:

we have a furry household
– 2 old cats (16 sometime next year)
– a young dog (turns 4 in march)
– and a old dog, 13 to 15, we found her.

this year we also welcomed our daughter to the family.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails

our old dog has been steadily growing older. she has had trouble sleeping since june, we have to lay her down to sleep, and sometimes she needs help up when she sits – this is the short version, there is much more (kidney disease from the day we found her, etc)

we are heading on a long trip soon to visit family for the holidays. this trip has made us face some tough decisions that we have been postponing (and still might)

from the outside most people would have sent our dear girl (the dog) to the rainbow bridge long ago the first time her kidneys were practically gone. yes i said first time. we changed her food (homemade) and went through a detox of sorts for her – this was over a year ago.

now we are at the place where “she still has spark in her eyes” for certain foods and sniffing for her time outside.

this is a life and we have been given the responsibility to show mercy when the time is right. it is difficult to know “right” since animals can’t say directly and straightforward what they want/need/think.

in the end she will be painfree, running in fields, chasing ducks in ponds, and independent when it comes to even the simplest personal act like relieving herself (if that exists in heaven, maybe its just an earth thing)

so all the debating in our heads “too early, too late” etc – when the time comes, it is the right time – she is old, in pain, and we have loved her to the best of our ability.

she has given us the opportunity to give her love and share adventures. she has definitely shown us how to be strong and a desire for life – keep on kicking as long as there is fresh air and things to sniff along the way.