How can one possibly write briefly about Bdsm and the plethora of arts, symbolism, rich history and eros that it evokes?

At a certain point words simply fail. Despite the physicality of much of the sadomasochistic arts for example, these acts remain profoundly psychological..that is the desire to engage finds its genesis in the body/mind/soul self..

S/m IS an art form. D/s is IS intimately relational and pyscho/emotional.

The mind is theatre, Bdsm is theatre and those of us who taste and become more than here on a seasonal pass..have a capacity for imagination and a desire to have that capacity fed in ways perhaps others lack..

Some of us are adrenalin junkies, some of us find deep nurture in this world, some of us have a penchant for outside the box self expression, a driving need to convey to others and to mirror to self the originality that arises from our cores..

Many of us approach this theatre from all these angles.

Whatever our original portal into this world was..whether whispers of persuasions and tastes in childhood or discoveries thru involvments as adults..discoveries of something wanting in our relationships or discoveries of deep satisfactions previously unknown, Once awakened, it becomes a journey of self as unique, of self as social being, of mores and values, and choice and appetite.

Our appetites change as we evolve, and our appetites change with age.

In midlife, there seems a stopping point, a transition for many, a reawakening of the sexual identity questions that first emerged in adolescence, typically..

and the world of Bdsm spreads before us, expotentially increasing our capacities to find nuance and art form in the expression of our erotic selves beyond the normative vanilla scripting.

Why do so many keep what is essentially a photo journal here?

We could claim narcsissm, or exhibitionism as defined by current sociomedical techofuks, but I think something else is at play …

We live in a culture soaked in sexual imagery as commodity..sex as a means to sell..something else, product X or product Y.

It is NOT expression of sexuality for its own erotic sake…

We are surrounded by sex, and yet, we are a curiously desexualized culture, irony there, the true longing, that to express our sexual selves simply for the joy and pleasures, dark and light of such expression untied to commodification is a radical act, an act of taking back our eros as unfettered, free and innately OURS.

True eros IS untameable, and like art rather than science, it is messy, capricious, unpredictable, and dangerous.

D/s and S/m’s powerful and haunting pull are hard to explain to the uniniated or unawakened..perhaps those that make it here to this world and take up residence have a deeper need to dream while awake, the stuff of nightmares AND rapture, the transformational..

Perhaps from the outside we are shunned as evil or outcasts because it is so powerful opening Pandora’s box, and like all that is innately spiritual and radical there have always been those who would seek to contain and control the mystical..

Simply because you cannot OWN mystical experience, you cannot force it, it is power spitting in so called power’s face..

Just some thoughts from the cat. Have a great day..thoughts back on this musing?

I ‘ve been thinking about the politics of identity lately, and when I say identity I am referring to all the qualifiers that we adher to. Our political persuasions, our sexual affinities, our brand preferences and status symbols, our socio medical labels, and the roles we identify with…parent, son, wife of, ect..

What’s in a label? Foremost there is freedom and there is constraint. Labels are a signifier to ourselves and to others…a signifier that points to a set of expectations based on our assumptions and experience with the word itself.

We may labor under the constraints of a label, or we may take flight within the kernels of realities attached.

However as I type this I’m staring at an orange resting on its side that I just bladed in half. And it came to me..as the ramble jam that is often the way I muse is want to do..

that a label is like an unpeeled orange, you pick it up, you can see its external properties, you have an expectation of what it will taste like..

bladed in half though the interior reveals so much more orangatastik detail.

I tend to be label sensitive. I agree that they are necessary, and expedite time and expectations.

Tonight , tho, I am reflecting on the downside of labels, and our drive to nail down our human experience like a coffin, labels often serve the establishment, unless reappropriated by a subculture as its own,

and the most powerful drive in labeling is to establish norms..

and norms as we all know or we should are culturally and historically specific and serve the power of the status quo.

I’m not advocating anarchy or a silence epidemic..haha, but perhaps that is why I find some of my most truthful sentiments are expressed thru art and the poetic..the inside view of the orange..

“Who are you, who the fuck are You, you you..”

Take away your labels this evening. Just for a night. Without them are you naked? And is that freeing or frightening?

More to come on this topic..I’ve just begun. Someone shut me up, please..laughing…I am not speaking to D/s here..I am speaking to the power of language across all spheres of internal and social experience, how we come to “know’ ourselves..and represent that to the world around us..

my next post on this will be speaking to the facsism and freedom inherent in language..with a focus on disability semantics..

Wow, I like to read many magazines, am a die hard fan of holding the glossy print page in my hand, curled on the couch, it remains a favorite down time treat of mine.

I do follow zines, but it’s not the same. I have the odd habit, ( one of many odd habits..hey another blog post idea there..) of reading from back to front, go figure..

Anyway, this months Scientific American Mind , which I usually follow for all its delish stuff on the latest brain neuro imaging research and leading edge of quantum musings, is completely dedicated to Sex.

That problematic word, sex as it means so many different things to different people, I prefer the word sexuality, yeah, there’s alot to be said for semantics.

There is an interesting article on Do Gays Have a Choice, by Robert Epstein.

This article contains an interesting 9 question quiz, entitled How Gay are You? and when I tabulated the results , I am supposedly ‘predominantly “homosexual” with ‘heterosexual ” tendencies…

A thought or two on this being calculated thru a minute long questionaire ..

the fact that I am predominantly het with some same sex imaginings and activities over an adult lifetime notwithstanding, the quiz made me smile, because the determination of who and what one is , is complex, contextual, and to some degree culturally determined.

I was given to ponder what would a similar quiz make of those with alternative D/s and S/m longings..exposure and opportunities and education count for much, when one has opportunity to meet others in the world of D/s and Bdsm what was once strange or even incomprehensible can become articulated and active.

The limits have some flexibility, we all know this as we journey..

There’s enormous sociopolitical power in labels , definitions ect, they have allowed expression of homosexuality to become more tolerated and understood, and I hope we are on a similar road as regards Bdsm.

Sexuality is magical. Sometimes monstrous. A part of our core, and a lifetime’s rollicking ride..it expresses thru our dream lives, our relationships and experiences of our own body selves and aging. As well as WHO and how we express our sexual selves with.

Iniations include the profoundly biological markers of being birthed, birthing, parenting, aging, death itself.

A nine question one minute quiz tells me nothing.

My own blueprint of a lifetime of being in this body/self/soul tells me by the pattern that shows, ie, the ink, where I have been , and by what is absent, where I have not…

Embrace yourself, you are a snowflake , detailed, intricate and singular event in time, carry a banner label if it suits your purposes and helps you navigate from here to there, I remain on passport, passing thru..

It happened this evening. Out of nowhere. I have never been into needle play, needles scare me…but I have the sudden craving to be tacked. To push the fine points of multiple tacks into a pattern on my breasts and my ass..to photograph it, slight red trickles and all..

I was looking in the mirror after my shower, and I raised my arms into the air, crossed my wrists, and stared. I could “see” ,imagine a perfect circle of pushpins around the outside of the pale pink of my nipples, I started to space..

Just the pin prick sensation, the slightest bloodletting.

And I could feel a pattern on the burning cheeks of my ass, my inner thighs. Its the urge to see something pretty, the pattern against my white skin, and to feel the sting of each little push.

I know I have to swab with alcohol and soak, and only penetrate the slightest depth..but the craving is intense, it is shocking, sometimes I do practice sadomasochistic acts solo, I’ve inserted freezer chilled butterknives into my cunt, sat spread eagled in front of an old vanity circular mirror and slid in one of those wine corkscrews and then opened it like a speculum, I have lit my nipples flashing back and forth with a lighter,I love to strap my cunt with leather, but my Dominant will not let me actually cut without his supervision because I space so deeply. I’ve only used a sharp blade with his prescence.

Tonight, it seems to becoming from some almost inarticulate artistic urge, something masochistic, an ache, but combined with the desire to see my blood , and to feel for the first time a prick sensation..the hunger it is sanguine and I feel the veil of space closing over me..the desire to see something beautiful,

my clamps won’t do it tonight tho I love them on my clit, and nipples..has anyone else had a new craving come out of nowhere and feel compelling, and begin to space just imagining the look of it?

If I get permission I will take a photo, it is like some artistic ritual longing.. tonight..

Welcome! Enjoy a growing collection of informative and polemical articles and prose poetry, I write with a celtic influence, on a range of topics from D/s to madness and the way the topography of the land shapes a people and their collective soul… This space will feature interviews and I ... Continue reading →