When I heard news of my daughter’s Leukemia I was devastated in the classical sense. I went numb like I was in another world then visited the ” this could not be happening” scenario. Last nite again when the news came of the extent and virulence of it I again visited that place for a moment. Then I chanted, slept for an hour and spent the rest of the nite meditating on her speaking with her soul and knowing that I needed to be vast for me but most of all for her. To crawl under the mantle of the Divine and get the journey, see the wonder of the Divine plan instead of beseeching the Divine to understand mine.

I always joked that we give God Shopping lists or at least gift lists and we expect God to act like an adoring out of balance hueman instead of us wanting to act and see the Divine order. Last nite she told me she didn’t know if she wanted the Chemo in her body. She wasn’t sure which way to go. Then Later I saw her coming out of the end of a very dark tube in her light body. I did not know if this meant she would make it through this with her body or only after shedding it. I’m her mother. I grew this beings body inside me I don’t want her loosing it yet why did I really agree to have her? To fulfill her destiny not my idea of what that meant or my desires for her. Yes I can plead she has not had a child yet and she is so great with children, her true love she has not had, her her her but what I know is that she truly has her. She came here to find the entire Universe inside her. She has that. I can pray, I invite you to hold her in the magnificence of the light so she can be held in that light as she passes through this challenging time of pain. I knew why Christ ask in the garden that if this Chalice(of pain ) could pass from me, he would be okay without having to go through that corridor. I’m sure Pritham feels the same way. Your prayers will help that happen in perfect order.