I know…I’m kind of strange…okay…a lot strange…but…I sort of get attached to things…and…when…it’s
time to replace them…I feel…guilty…like…I’m hurting their feelings…

Case in point…I bought a Townie…a
cruiser type of bicycle…and…rode it for a couple of years…going places…and riding
distances…that were fairly noteworthy…but…finally…one day…it was time…to get a
fancy Trek road bike…and…I love it…but…for
the longest time…I felt guilty every time I took it out for a spin…and left the
Townie in the garage…

See…I wasn’t kidding when…I said I was strange…

So…anyway…here’s the deal…most of you have seen my beautiful
new website…I love it…Rebbekah White and Kim Mutch Emerson…did a great job with
it…I think it really captures…my personality…and Bertha’s spirit…perfectly…

There’s just one thing…I feel guilty…when I visit the old
blog…I feel like I’m being disloyal to it or something…and…I’ve been double
posting…which is really kind of ridiculous…if you think about it…

I’ve said it was…because…I have some friends…who have
subscribed to the old blog via email…and…the new site doesn’t have that option
at this point…but…Bertha…says…it goes
deeper than that…

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I got an email today…from a health
and fitness magazine…touting that I could be bikini ready in…four weeks…I deleted
it…

Now…I hate to sound negative…but…come
on…I’ve never been bikini ready…not even when I had the body for it…actually…way
back in the day…Mama wouldn’t even let me have a two-piece…much less a bikini…I
think I got my first two-piece…maybe my senior year in high school…and trust me…it
wasn’t skimpy…and…I could count the number I’ve had since then…on my fingers…probably
on one hand…

So…it got me to wondering…if I were
young…and…thin…today…would I still be too self-conscious to wear a bikini…probably…but…I’ve digressed from what
was originally on my mind…

The article…

I have to wonder…how could anyone
who was actually…overweight…and…out of shape…be bikini ready in four weeks…I mean…think
about it…on a reasonable diet…I could expect to lose a maximum of 10 pounds…in
a month…and…with a really dedicated workout schedule…I could tone some…but…not
from flab to washboard abs…

So…I’m thinking…this program…is a
lot like that book that I bought last summer…that claimed…you could look
thinner without losing weight…all you had to do was wear…a full spanx body
armor…not sure how that would look in a
bathing suit…oh…but…wait…if you were more than 10 pounds overweight…you’d
better diet…

So…maybe the article should have
read…if you are within three pounds of your goal weight…and…reasonably in shape…you
can be bikini ready in four weeks…for the rest of you…better luck next year…and…here’s
a link…for swim dresses…

Monday, May 7, 2012

Yesterday was the perfect day…for
pulling weeds…it was cloudy and cool…and then it rained…and remained pleasant
for a couple of hours until the sun came out…so the temperature was just right…and
the ground was soft…perfect for weed pulling…

I have to admit…I’ve had plenty of…reasons…AKA…excuses…for not completing the job before…I’m not sure why yesterday
inspired me…maybe…it was a blog I read recently…about how spiritual it felt to
weed…

And…quite honestly…the entire
experience of being out in nature…hearing the birds…feeling the breeze…smelling
the nearby roses…and…just being alone with my thoughts…actually was spiritual…but…so
is sitting in my Granny’s rocker…so…don’t get too excited…

Anyway…as I was pulling weeds from
the dry creek…I decided it was time to clean out the pot from last year’s
asparagus fern…it had become infested with vetch…that had wandered over…from
the empty lot next door…I wasn’t sure what I wanted to plant there…but…job one
was to clean it out…as I clipped away at the vetch…I noticed the strangest
thing…right in the center of last year’s dead fronds…was…a baby asparagus fern…pretty
as you please…it was a mild winter…it hadn’t completely died…I carefully…trimmed
out the dead fronds and weeds…delighted with my baby fern…

Then…there was the pot of lamb’s
ear…it had hung in there for most of the winter…before biting the dust…I
started to clean out the pot…and…yep…there were the cutest little lamb’s ears
you ever wanted to pet…right there under all those dead leaves…

The mosquito geranium…is making a comeback
as well…

Now…I’m not promoting
procrastination…although…I could be the
poster child…it did make me think…if I had dumped these plants in March…like
I kept telling myself that I should…I would have thrown away…my baby plants…

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I must admit…I’ve done it…it…being…buying something…that…I wasn’t
shopping for…that…I have a questionable
need for…simply because…it was there…and…it was…such a good deal…

Now…Bertha…has been quick to point out the fallacy of this…yes…that’s
the same…Bertha…who wouldn’t pass up
a shoe sale…on a dare…probably not even a double-dog dare…and…we all know…the
power of the double-dog…

Do
I need it…does it match anything I have…does it fit…do I love it…would I have
bought it at full price…

Then…like a dog with a bone…she
goes on…

What
about the cost…how does the 50% I paid…fit into my budget…and…she reminds me…$200
worth of bargains…is still $200…even…if
the receipt says I saved…$200…I still spent…$200…and…somehow…when it comes to
my bank balance…that ain’t really saving…

She’s right of course…and…I’m busted…as I remember the arm loads
of clearance clothes…still sporting tags…that I eventually gave away…because…they
either never fit…well…I meant to lose
weight…geez…or…I never found anything…just that shade…of…periwinkle…or…chartreuse…to
pull it off…and that…oh…I can always wear
it with black…doesn’t always get it either…

Bertha…says…it’s
actually part of living my truth…asking myself the…questions…as she calls them…before I make a
purchase…especially…an impulse purchase…and…if…the answers…are…no…then…putting it back on the rack…and…walking
away…

I have a feeling…I’m going to be
doing quite a bit of walking in the future…I wonder…will that count as exercise…hmmm…

Saturday, May 5, 2012

This morning…I wanted to sit on my
porch…and…I really didn’t want to get dressed…but…I really didn’t want sit out
in my nightgown…either…not…that anybody could really see me…not like most of my
neighbors were even up…well…except for one neighbor…who brings her dog out
early…and…can see my side porch from her yard…so…I guess it was for her…that I decided
to get dressed…

As I poked through my closet…I didn’t
find a thing to meet my needs…it was then I remembered…those dresses that I used
to have…that my friend referred to as…indoor-outdoor
dresses…loose…baggy…not requiring foundation undergarments…just as comfy as
a nightgown…but…a little more respectable…when answering the door…or venturing
out for the mail…

A sense of nostalgia swept across
me…not unlike the wind blowing tumbleweeds across the plains…where had all my…indoor-outdoor
dresses…gone…I knew I didn’t have them anymore…but…I dug…in the bottom of
drawers…just in case…only to come up…with painting shorts…and…a lab coat…leftover from my hospital days…and…I continued
to remember…housedresses…muumuus…dusters…none
of which were in my closest…

I settled on wearing…baggy shorts…and…a
baggier tee…they served the purpose…sans
foundation undergarments…but…somehow they just aren’t the same…I want nostalgia…I
want an indoor-outdoor dress…and…I think…I just might look for one…today…but...that would require...undergarments...hmmm...

Friday, May 4, 2012

I love the sound of rain…on a tin
roof…the ping…ping…ping…so relaxing…mesmerizing…unfortunately…I don’t have one…but…what
I do have…is a gutter…and…when the rain hits the gutter…it makes that same…pinging…sound…

That’s the sound I heard yesterday
morning…right after I got up…before I turned on the radio…loud enough…to wake the neighbors down the street…I could hear the
soft landing…of so many little drops…as they hit the gutter…before sliding down
into the yard…

I admit it…it was dark…but…I went
outside anyway…so…I could hear it better…such a soothing sound…it really didn’t
matter…that…I didn’t have a tin roof…I had a gutter…

Bertha…reminded
me of a phrase…that…Granny…used to say a lot…and…that is…making do…

Now…I’m sure…most of you are
familiar with that phrase…and…in these economic times…there’s still a lot of making do…essentially…doing without…

At first glance…the phrase does
seem to mean…settling…settling for
something less than what I want…because…I can’t afford it…or otherwise can’t
have it…but…Bertha…had me to look at
it again…as…making peace with where I am…enjoying what I currently have…and…still
being hopeful…for more…

I like the change in that
perspective…making do…no longer feels
negative…like something to endure…and…I think about my non-tin roof…it’s only a
couple of years old…and…as much as I love the sound…I see no reason to consider
replacing the roof with tin…not…when I have gutters…I love going outside during
the rain…sitting on the porch…in Granny’s rocker…listening to the…ping…ping…ping…

Besides…something tells me…if I had
a tin roof…it…would…get hot…and…Bertha…would…put the cat on it…and…then…where
would I be…

Thursday, May 3, 2012

I just read an article…by my friend…ChristyBirmingham…about…walking into a pole on a walk…and…it got me to thinking…for me…as
a writer…nothing is wasted…literally no life event…no matter how embarrassing…gets
put in file thirteen…it shows up on the page…eventually…albeit…often disguised…

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

When I graduated from nursing
school…back when we rode…dinosaurs…and
all that…there was a two-day event…shortly after graduation…called…State Boards…there were five sections to
the test…and you had to pass all five…in order to get your license…

Well…two days of testing was bad
enough…but…then…you had to wait six weeks for the results…six…long…grueling…weeks…I
might add…when…you had a gut feeling…but…no assurance…

I remember getting those results in
the mail…on a Saturday afternoon…as we were leaving our apartment…I had passed…and…not
only that…I had scored high enough…that I could get a license in
any state without having to take an exam…even though…I wasn’t planning to go
anywhere…that was a relief…

I remember that feeling…of understated
elation that I felt…I remember once husband asking…why…I was so excited…he knew
I was going to pass all along…

I remember explaining to him…that…he
just didn’t understand…this was something that I would always have…that no one
could take away from me…that it would go with me…wherever I went…it was a huge
deal…he never really understood…but…that’s okay…he didn’t have to…

It’s the same thing…she doesn’t
have to stay there…in fact…this morning…she’d dropped…but…although…I’d love to
see her stay there…and blow the top off the charts…for weeks to come…she doesn’t
have to…she’s made it…and…no one can take that away from me…or…honestly…from…her…we all know it’s…all…Bertha…

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I’m
tired…I probably say that phrase…at least…ten times a day…maybe more…and…I usually…sigh…as
I say it…I suppose…just to prove the truth of my words…

I hadn’t paid much attention to it…until
a friend…remarked…you’re always tired…hmmm…busted…

Now…you know that conversation…led
to atête-à-têtewith…Bertha…who
pointed out…something that I have known for a while…but…tend to forget…

And…that’s the power…of the words…I Am…

I
Am…is creative…and…brings the words that follow…into being…so…when…I say…I’m
tired…I’ve created more tired…at least ten times a day…

So…I think about my self-talk…and…all
the negative…I Am…statements that I make
in a day…it ain’t a pretty list…the words…broke…fat…lazy…ugly…tired…exhausted…quickly
come to mind…and…I consider myself to be a pretty positive person…

I think I’ll spend some time…in…the
contemplation chair…about this…do the Forgiveness Prayer…think about how to
rephrase…my self-talk…but…for now…it’s
been a full day…I think I’ll rest…

So…if…next time we’re chatting… those
illustrious words…I am tired…or any
other negative…I Am…statement…escapes
my lips…feel free to slap me…to get my attention…okay…not really...get out of that line…that was a joke…geez…

About Me

I am an author, Life Coach, Registered Nurse, Reiki Master, Mother, Grandmother, and long-time student of life. I have one published book, Bertha-Size Your Life.
I’ve been a nurse for over 30 years and have seen my focus change from illness to wellness to wholeness. I see healing as a spiritual process even more than a physical one. I personally experienced this following brain surgery last winter. Although, I fortunately did not have a near death experience…I am experiencing a spiritual reawakening as I continue to recover.