Nude yoga puts me in an awkward position

Swimming, PlayStation with the guys -- even vacuuming is better in the buff. (Maybe not vacuuming; those sweeper attachments can be dangerous.)

I do enjoy hanging around the house in my birthday suit, especially when it's too humid to be in clothing. Occasionally, I will plop my naked self down on the couch with a cold beer to watch a rerun of "The X-Files."

Brad is quick to point out that A) it's gross, and B) fabric patterns imprinted on my butt are not attractive. In any case, it doesn't take much for me to go au natural.

So you can imagine my excitement when I was handed a postcard advertising a local men's group that practices nude yoga. My first thought: bendy naked guys!

I used to take yoga classes at my gym, but when it got too crowded, I quit. When I did yoga at home, I often did it in the nude -- it's less restrictive. Now I had an opportunity to experience nude yoga with other like-minded people.

I mentioned this nude yoga concept to Brad, who emphatically said, "No."

"But it could be fun to go as a couple," I said.

"No way," he replied.

I didn't want to go it alone because I do have a few hang-ups about the whole concept. Being naked and chubby in front of toned, professional yoga instructors did not excite me.

But I was determined to find out more. I sent an e-mail to the address on the card mentioning my concern and received a newsletter response that stated: "We strive to create an atmosphere of mutual trust, body acceptance and a comprehensive return to the senses."

That's good; I could use some body acceptance.

My other concern was whether it is possible to be in the same room with a dozen guys dangling and not be distracted. The newsletter also said that the classes are not sexual events and the nudity is not anything to be concerned about. According to the newsletter, after the initial shock, your apprehension melts away when you realize that everyone is in the same naked boat.

After reading the newsletter, I realized I didn't have a legitimate reason not to go.

Then I found one. The newsletter does not state where the class is located, so I sent another e-mail making sure the class wasn't in Lake of the Hills or some other galaxy far, far away.

The instructor wouldn't give me the address but assured me that it's "south of Evanston and along the lakefront." So anywhere on the North Side? I needed more to go on than a 5-mile stretch of land, so I asked for the exact address. I just want to know the class is in a studio and not some guys' living room.

I was told that the exact location would be sent to me once I registered for the class.

What is this, the "Bourne Yoga-matum"? My reservations now have reservations.

In every other city where you can take nude yoga classes, the organization has a Web site that gives the location, pricing information and other tips.

I was unsure about nude yoga with others, but the secrecy solidified that at least this class isn't for me. Besides, do I really want to be directly behind someone doing the Downward Facing Dog?