Wedding ban by my cruel daughter

Her daughter won't have her family at her wedding because she thinks they're common

This has caused such a massive family rift that I'm struggling to get out of bed in the morning.

People are telling me that she's a spiteful bitch, but there's no shifting her. Her argument is that everyone on my side is common. My sisters and their kids are scum, while my own parents are just an embarrassment.

She cites a 21st birthday party five years ago which ended in a brawl.

Yes, I admit, that tempers did run high that night. The police were called and several ambulances attended. But it wasn't only my family who were to blame. We were ambushed by a local gang.

If I'm honest, I suspect this whole row is about money. I've told my daughter that I don't have any to contribute. She initially asked me for £10,000 but I'm broke.

Apparently I'm invited to the wedding if I can find at least £500, but no-one else I'm related to is.

This is in sharp contrast to my exhusband - her dad - who is coughing up £15,000 and is allowed to bring 50 of his tribe along.

Then there's the groom's family, good for another £10,000, apparently.

I think that weddings should all be about family, don't you? How come all of her mates get invited, yet my poor old mum and dad are being snubbed? I've always tried to bring her up properly.

But it's very hard to hear that she's ashamed of her own flesh and blood.

JANE SAYS: I suspect that your daughter is feeling stressed and rather overwhelmed right now.

Her wedding is looming and she wants everything to be perfect. I suggest you just ask her for 10 minutes of her pre-just ask her for 10 minutes of her precious time.

Calmly explain that you're very upset. Excluding your entire family from her wedding is harsh. Maybe some of them aren't perfect, but who is?

Besides, you're not asking for every last cousin to be included, just the key people like your parents and sisters.

Let her know just how awkward things are for you right now. Folk are insulted and you find yourself in the centre of the storm.

Is she willing to extend a few more invitations? Is she prepared to drop her guard if you can absolutely guarantee that everyone will behave themselves and do her proud?

See if you can appeal to her better nature and point out that her grandparents will be devastated if they're not included. She could create a rift with them that may never be healed.

You can but try. However, if she's absolutely determined that she has her final guest list, you must respect her wishes.

Of course you must go to the wedding, with your head held high and your best smile plastered on.

But don't forget how she's treated you, and don't allow her to take advantage of you in future.