A bizarre trial is to commence in British territory on a speck of volcanic rock half way between New Zealand and Peru. The Pitcairn Islands, only the largest of which is inhabited are sited over 9,250 miles from England.

Judges and officials are to be imported (almost doubling the population of 50 people) to try seven men on Pitcairn Island.The defendents face a total of 90 sex charges dating back 40 years, and face prison sentences if convicted. Sheep are not believed to be involved.

The trials expected to last up to six weeks, which some islanders (especially the accused?) fear could threaten their community's survival. The in-bred population of Pitcairn is solely descended from the mutineers of His majesty's ship H.M.S. Bounty and originally arrived there in 1790. The islanders survive by fishing, selling postage stamps to collectors and handicrafts to tourists on passing cruise liners.

Pitcairn has no McDonalds, no Mosque, no Hindu Temple, no Pakistani-Carribean Community Centre, no Asylum Centre(yet), no taxpayer funded GLOW ('Gay and Lesbian Outreach Workshop' ), no jail, no port, nor even a landing strip for aircraft.

Additionally the Islands are grossly under-represented when it comes to the British government dispersing the African , Chinese , Arab, Romany, Asian and ‘other alien’ Asylum Seekers into the ‘community’ .

As a little bit of Britain in need of a population, and as an opportunity to promote anti racism 'by reflecting the racial make up of Britain', Pitcairn and its uninhabited four offshore islands could make use of its precedent origins as a refuge, to be the ideal location for a “detention and screening facility” for the millions of alleged Asylum Seekers currently polluting the mainland UK by their unwelcome presence……..

Its a great opportunity for Tony Blair and Gonad Brown of the New Labour Party to 'Think outside the box', 'Push the envelope', 'embrace diver****ty', 'celebrate multiculturalism' , 'Throw Rainbow Britain in yer face' etc..... by transferring some of the freeloading asylum dross on a one-way ticket to Pitcairn ?.

Fourteen women, almost all of the island's adult females and representing three generations, complained that the sex charges were designed to ruin the population and that it was perfectly normal for girls to have sex as early as age 12.

Many carry the surname Christian, inherited through blood or marriage from Fletcher Christian, the leader of the rebellion against Captain William Bligh and who founded the community in 1790 with eight other mutineers from HMS Bounty and Tahitian female totty taken from the nearest Island group to Pitcairn.

The abuse, it will be argued, was part of a caste system that operated on Pitcairn island. A small group of men drawn from the dominant families on the island abused girls as of right - particularly those carrying surnames of lower historical status.

Sociologists will be writing PhD dissertations for decades about this curious test case ?.

Irma Christian, 76, is one of the elder stateswomen of the island. She said that much more terrible things have happened in Pitcairn's past than the alleged crimes now being tried adding that the British Government and its investigators were responsible for a gross miscarriage of justice………

The Pitcairn Islands, Britain’s potential answer to relocating the asylum hordes and solving Blunkett’s ‘Swamping’ problem at a stroke .

When I learned I'd be working with a Pitcairn Islander many years back I remember being quite excited. I expected to come across someone out of a time machine with all sorts of wonderful archaicisms. I was disappointed. He was all so ordinary.

One of his alleged victims claimed there was a culture of sexual abuse on the island when she grew up there in the 1960s.

The woman, now 51 and living overseas, told the Pitcairn Supreme Court she was raped by Christian three times when she was 11 or 12.

She kept it to herself for decades, she said, "out of guilt, out of shame, out of nobody would believe me".

She said: "It just seemed to be the normal way of life back on Pitcairn, how the girls are treated, as though they are a sex thing.

"Men could do what they want with them. They seem to be a rule unto themselves."

The woman told the court of a miserable childhood on the island, where she was bullied and taunted as a "half-caste" and "outsider" because she had blue eyes and fair skin. Christian, "the leader of the pack", was her chief tormentor, she said.