Wednesday, May 21, 2014

A Place to Call Your Own

You might not realize, but we do NOT maintain a regular
office. I prefer to work out of bars, where I can sip a tasty beverage whilst
planning to conquer the world. And it occurred to me to figure out WHY this
works so well. The camaraderie, the comfort...whatever it is that feeds your
inner Hemingway. Fetching bartenders and tasty nibbles don't hurt, either...

Here’s a few tips:

Choose the right place. It needs to be close to your house and somewhere you
enjoy. Otherwise you won’t go
often enough. Also, make sure its
small and been around long enough to have a staff that’s worked there for a
while. You want to make sure
you’re not lost in the shuffle. Having internet and power is a must.

How Often? At
least once a week. At first you
want to pick a weekday until they get to know you. Also, try to avoid a happy hour place. You don’t want to compete with
after-work douchebags for the waitress’ attention.

Choose the right time.
You want to go early or late.
Never at rush hour. At
least until you’ve gained a regular status. Best way to do this is to get a beer solo around 5:00. The staff will have already prepped for
dinner and usually have time to chat.
This is where you want to strike up a conversation. Learn their name and repeat it a few
times. Don’t be offended if they
don’t learn yours right away. This
takes time.

Order right. If
you order your steak well done, no one will talk to you. If you order something weird on the
menu, they’ll be eager to know what you think. Remember, a good chef is an artist. Send the dish back and you’ll crush
him. Be honest, give constructive
criticism, and he’ll love you.

Tip generously.
Tipping might be the strangest part of our culture and it’s hard to get
right. If this is somewhere you
want to become a regular at you’ve got to set a precedent and stick with
it. I go 25% always. That’s a good tip but not
outrageous. No waiter will turn
down money but they also don’t want to be power played. And yes, you do tip on drinks and tax.

Dress well. A
good manager knows that the look of the clientele is a part of the decor. They want to attract young, good
looking people. So make sure you
dress the part. No sandals. No hats. No tank tops.
You don’t need to wear a suit (unless the dress code calls for it) but
be respectful.

Get to know the other regulars. It’s just as important as knowing the staff. View the other regulars as gate
keepers. If you’ve got your head
down, playing on your phone all evening, they’ll never let you in. So jump in on their conversation and
offer to buy them a drink. You’ll
be accepted in no time.

Now You’re Getting Somewhere. So the staff is starting to recognize you. It’s time to exercise some of the
benefits. Pick a table and asked
to be seated there always. When
you call to make a reservation, mention your name and ask something about the
hostess. “Chrissy, it’s John
Smith. How’s your sick dog doing? I was hoping you had my table open
around 9:00 tonight.” That makes
it personal and gives them something to remember about you.

The Buy Back.
At some point you’ll be given a desert or drink on the house. Be over the top grateful. Tip like the item was part of the
bill. I know this goes against
what I said about tipping, but this is different. Also, don’t be afraid to reciprocate. If you stay until closing, buy the
kitchen a round of beers from the bar.
Trust me, they’ll remember.

There’s a place a block down the street from where I live
that’s been around since the 1920’s.
It’s an institution with lots of regulars to compete with. But when it changed hands last year and
the new owner’s were looking for some press, I offered to help. I asked a local newspaper if I could
write a review. Boom. Regular status achieved.