Are Oral Sex and Phone Sex Wrong?

By Fr. William Saunders

9/19/16

The Washington Times had an article which said that President
Clinton and Monica Lewinsky had phone sex and oral sex. It
also said he researched the Bible and concluded that oral sex
does not constitute adultery. Aren't phone sex, oral sex, and
masturbation wrong?  A disgusted reader m Centreville.
Straight Answers has received several questions from readers
regarding President Clinton's romantic escapades reported in
the media. While commenting on our President's alleged
behavior is beyond the purview of this column, the moral
issues warrent discussion. Before addressing these particular
actions, we must first have a clear understanding of the
Catholic Church's teaching regarding the sexual expression of
love. The Catholic Church continues to teach that sexual love
between a man and woman is both sacred and good, but is
reserved to marriage. This teaching is rooted in the creation
account of Genesis - Book 1, Chapter 1 of Sacred are: First,
God creates man in His own image and likeness, making them
male and female (Gen 1:27). Each person therefore has an
inherent dignity. In the next verse, the Bible reads, "God
blessed them, saying, 'Be fertile and multiply; fill the
earth and subdue it' " (Gen 1:28). Before the man and woman
come together as husband and wife, and before they express
their love as husband and wife, they are first blessed by
God. Only in marriage do we find God's blessing upon the act
of sexual love, or what is better termed marital love. This
physical expression of love in marriage is a sacred sign of a
husband and wife's covenant of life and love that they share
in union with God. This marital love signifies the vows
freely exchanged between each other and thereby reflects the
faithful, permanent, exclusive, end self-giving love they
have promised to each other and to God. This understanding is
evident in Jesus' response to the Pharisees' question
regarding divorce: "Have you not read that at the beginning
the Creator made them male and female end declared, 'For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to
his wife, and the two shall become as one? Thus they are no
longer two but one flesh. Therefore let no man separate what
God has joined" (Mt 19:46). Through the Sacrament of Holy
Matrimony, God blesses the couple joined in this sacred bond
and generously bestows grace so that they may assume the
duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. Moreover,
the marital love of husband and wife which unites them as
"one flesh" may overflow and participate in God's creative
love: a child may be born from their love. Then, again, God
gives abundant graces so that the husband and wife can
fulfill their duties as father and mother. Therefore, in
accord with God's design, sexual love is reserved to marriage
and must always preserve both the unitive and procreative
dimensions. Any action which deviates from this design is
intrinsically evil. Here is the clear teaching of Sacred
Scripture and the consistent teaching of our Church To
violate the covenant love of marriage, whether physically or
spiritually, whether by one's self or with another,
constitutes adultery. Recall the teaching of our Lord: "You
have heard the commandment, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
What I say to you m; anyone who looks lustfully at a woman
has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Mt
5:2728). Our Lord elevated the living of that faithful,
permanent, exclusive, and self-giving love of marriage, to a
higher standard of holiness. With foundation, we can now
address the issues at hand: phone sex, oral sex, and
masturbation. While I am not sure exactly what "phone sex"
is, clearly it is inseparable from the vice of lust. Lust is
simply defined as an inordinate desire for sexual pleasure.
Such pleasure is considered disordered when sought after
itself and removed from the unitive and procreative
dimensions of marriage. One could consider "phone sex" a kind
of pornography whereby the activity good to marriage is
removed and used to stimulate an individual. Hence, the
individual withdraws from reality and becomes absorbed in a
fantasy world. Such activity is pursued for selfish pleasure
alone. In all, this "phone sex" or any pornography perverts
the goodness of the act of marriage and thereby entails
mortal sin. The usage and enjoyment of pornographic stimuli
is linked with the act of masturbation, "the deliberate
stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual
pleasure" (Catechism, No. 2352). The Church has
consistently taught that masturbation is an intrinsically and
gravely disordered action. Even in the Book of Genesis, we
find a condemnation of masturbation in the story of Onan,
"who wasted his seed on the ground," an act which greatly
offended God (Gen 38:8-11); from this story arises the word
onaism, a synonym for masturbation. Here we find a solitary
action which arises from withdrawal into a fantasy world, is
performed for selfish pleasure, and perverts the self-giving
act of love between husband and wife. Objectively,
masturbation entails mortal sin. However, the
Catechism cautions, "To form an equitable judgment
about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide
pastoral action, one must take into account the affective
immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety,
or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even
extenuate moral culpability" (Catechism, No. 2352).
Finally, oral sex involves the ejaculation of a man into the
mouth of another male or female. In legal teens, oral sex is
called sodomy. An old classic text, Handbook of Moral
Theology, reads, "Sodomy is a sin which cries to heaven for
vengeance." Here we clearly see the perversion of the marital
act and an intrinsically evil action which entails mortal
sin. Each of these actions violates the Christian
understanding of the Sixth Commandment, "Thou shalt not
commit adultery. " In all, we must remember that each of us
is called to live by the virtue of chastity. As defined in
the Catechism, "Chastity means the successful integration of
sexuality within the person and thus tile inner unity of man
in his bodily and spiritual being" (No. 2337). Chastity
enables us to respect the dignity of our human sexuality and
the sacredness of marital love. Chastity moves us to look
upon each person as a person, not as a body, and to respect
their inherent dignity. In chastity, a person strives for
mastery over feelings and passions, respects the sacredness
of mental love, and takes responsibility for his actions. Of
course we need God's grace and the assistance of the Holy
Spirit to live a chaste life, especially in a culture that
abounds with great temptation. We must never forget that one
of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is chastity (Gal 5;23). With
all the media attention recently, we find the urgent need to
teach about chastity, even to Bible reading Christians.
Fr. Saunders is dean of the Notre Dame Graduate School
of Christendom College and pastor of Queen of Apostles
Parish, both in Alexandria. Copyright ?1997 Arlington
Catholic Herald, Inc. All rights reserved.