The Kweendom of Abstraction

bonds

ABSOLUTELY…a personal vent blog. I don’t do it often…but, every now and then someone steps out into the wide crossing which is my range of shot. I’m a patient woman, a tolerant woman…but, I do get fed up. Don’t sleep on the sweet…please believe me.

Since high school, I’ve learned SO much about the dynamics of male and female interactions. I’ve learned that your friendships with your girls can sometimes carry over into your relationship with your man…and vice versa. If you’re not careful, that is. Girls since the beginning have had a kindred-ness that I wont say is “lacking” in male bonds…just different. What WE as women hold dear is way different than what men deem sacred. From the moment we could talk and emulate our mothers…little girls learned to chat and laugh and keep secrets. Some didn’t catch on to the “keeping the secrets” part…but that’s an entirely new blog. Most of us girls learned through trial and error that boys come a dime a dozen but that friendships…TRUE friendships can last eternal. EVEN if we stop talking…we never forget how we bonded with that chick that we did everything with, told everything to, went everywhere with and would’ve whooped ass for (and in some cases DID). We keep those memories…even when we don’t fully understand what went wrong.

SO, when we get older and actually LEARN from our mistakes…we tread very carefully around certain “unspoken rules”. I experienced a very traumatic betrayal when I was merely 19. I won’t go into details, but I’ll just say that someone who was 10yrs older than me, had ties to my family and I spent almost every day with…fucked me over…with the dude I was head over heels for. Even after we mended fences for the sake of family, we were never the same. I take VERY seriously that friendship bond…so, hence forward…she was never truly re-embraced by me. I love her, but I’m no dummy.

I digress…but, the point is (and I have one, lol) that because it took me a minute to get back into the swing of kicking it with females…I don’t play bullshit and games. If I trust you…that’s it. So, when a dude comes along…who too, is a friend…and infiltrates my circle…I gotta ask…are you CRAZY? No seriously, did you not read the manual? THESE *pointing at my girls* are my sistas by choice…so, if you have unsavory, dubious and surreptitious intentions…do not play over here. These beautiful, classy, sexy, smart, funny, sensitive DIVAS…will go into BITCH mode and tear your ass to shreds. PERIOD! Mind you…the ladies I deem sista-worthy…aren’t all best friends by default. “I” am the common denominator…but, because they love me…they respect each other. The dichotomy of each friendship is different. What I have with one isn’t the same as the others…yet, we know of one another and respect what we mean to the next. So if a cat comes strolling in the yard…tryna eat out a bitch’s bowl…well, it’s gonna go through all of it’s 9 lives in 9 seconds. *QQn* *LADIES…ASSEMBLE!* *inside joke* LMAO! To dumb it down…if there’s a tidbit of info to be known, in order to minimize drama…we’re gonna share it.

Fellas? If there was a chick who went from dude to dude in your inner brother circle…what would you call her? RIGHT! So, if a dude knowingly bounces between friends…what does that make him? Oh…the MAN you say? Nah, it makes him a too. I just don’t and won’t take pride in my boy making his rounds with my closest friends. I mean…Should a friend be respectful of a girls’ circle and shop elsewhere? Because, in MY book…it’s a violation. Don’t make a woman choose between her girls and her male friends…b/c if he’s in the wrong it’s an easy lose. If my girls are wrong, I tell them. We shoot straight no chaser…so, why should it be any different because your chromosome is a Y?