Stella? Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Well, its official: Season 5 of Project Runway has flushed itself down the drain. How did this happen? How could they screw up a FANTASTIC challenge to make a piece for Diane Von Furstenberg's Fall line inspired by Marlene Dietrich in "Foreign Affair"?. I'll say it–this challenge is my wet dream come true. I cannot believe how these designers bungled and bungled and bungled these looks. Two good things, SEVEN atrocities. WTF? Am I pissed? YES! And, to add insult to injury, Stella, the only person even remotely true to herself and interesting to watch gets eliminated. What's that I hear? Oh, its the ratings. Plummeting. Ugh.

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Stella sews her last stitch of the season

Have any of these designers studied fashion? Period silhouette? Vintage construction, seaming, and embellishment? My first thought is, well, no. No. No clue whatsoever. Did they LOOK at the lookbook? What a mess this runway was. If no one had told you the challenge, what would you have thought the theme was? Chinese take-out waitresses? Blindfolded fabric shopping? Puffy pants? Oy vey. Thanks, Joe, for reminding me what the girls at the local "Happy Endings Massage Parlor" are wearing these days. Thanks, Blayne, for showing us that you just get better and better. At making non-sensical crap. Your puffy pants would be perfect to hide the Adult Diapers you are so fond of. How much more are they going to let you get away with? And, thanks, Kenley, for making the dullest and least inspired dress to hit the runway this season. But you cried. And that saved your ass.

My heartfelt good luck wishes go out to Stella, who saved this season from the boredom of manufactured catch phrases, "wink-wink" personalities trying way too hard for camera time, and the staleness of a roomful of people who just don't get it. I think Stella's business will boom because of the show, and her brilliant departure from it. Hell, even I want to buy something from her. She left on such a refreshing high note, it just goes to show one thing–no matter what, be yourself.

Does the rest of the season deserve watching? I'll watch it. The same way you read a book you have to do a report on.