Confession

I read celebrity gossip. I think of it as a bad habit. Like smoking, only less likely to kill me. But still rude and unsavory and impossible to quit.

I even like reading about fake celebrities, your Kardashians and your Bachelorettes and what have you. In fact, I think I like reading about those people more because they have purposefully offered themselves up for my knowledge of their personal business, unlike other celebrities who suffer these indignities as a side effect of our interest in their great talent and/or beauty.

So you can guess how much I love reading about celebrities weddings.1 I love it as much as I love Diet Coke. And that is a whole lotta love.

But I feel terrible about it. It’s hard enough to plan a wedding that will make you and your guests happy. Imagine having to impress weekly publications of dubious journalistic integrity! Imagine having to impress the Today Show! (Actually, that’s not that hard to imagine, they love everything.) But imagine having to impress Oh No They Didn’t!

It’s particularly bad when the person involved is not intentionally famous. Like, there is a famous person getting married this weekend, you might have heard! But this person is not a celebrity. This person will never appear on a magazine cover letting me know how she lost ten pounds in ten days. What’s actually happening is a consultant and an investment banker are getting married this weekend. And it is none of my business.

But dear lord, yes, I want to know everything. I am sad that Vera apparently won out over Oscar. I was surprised the Obamas were not invited! I am in fact curious if the $250,000 flower budget figure that is being tossed around has any basis in reality.

Anyway, I’m sorry, non-celebrity, for invading your privacy. I wish I weren’t part of the reason that you have to wear that silly hat.2 Have a nice wedding.

1Although relieved it meant the end of The Curse, I was very sad when InStyle Weddings folded, because I couldn’t bring myself to buy wedding magazines before I was engaged, even though OMG I wanted to read the features on B-list celebrities going dress shopping OMG! I was very happy the last issue was still on the shelves after I did get engaged, it was my first wedding-related purchase.2Unless that is just your sense of style, or you are worried about protection from the sun’s damaging rays. In which case, good for you!

I know! I am celebrity gossip ADDICT – fully admit to it, I read Dlisted.com and Lainygossip.com like it’s going out of style.

And I love the Clintons. So this just combines a whole bunch of loves together. But you’re so right, the poor girl – wedding scrutiny is intense for anyone, let alone someone that the entire world knows because of her parents!

That said – I heard Obamas were invited, they’re just not attending. I really can’t imagine them not being invited – Sec. Of State not inviting the POTUS? Now that’s scandalous!

APPARENTLY it is about security concerns. But I like to think that Hill was like, “Ugh, not that guy.” Because I would not like the guy who stole my dream job from me to come to my kid’s wedding. I’m sure Madam Secretary is way more professional and classy than I am, but I can pretend.

Guilty too. But I do try to plug my ears and go “La la la” when it’s Unintentionally Famous People getting married or Intentionally Famous People on their honeymoon getting chased by the paparazzi because dear God, is nothing sacred?

celebrity gossip is like crack. my hair stylist is obsessed with it and is such a pusher. i sit in the chair and she gives me one and draws me in. i can’t get enough. by the end of my time there, i’ve gone through four or five and am seriously discussing these people as if i know them.

Yeah, it was nice, but it was also expected. It’s not like he could go on the View (and btw — how crazy is it that the President appeared on that coffee clatch show?) and say, “that b*tch has been out to get me since the primaries. We’ll see how she likes it when she doesn’t get invited to the next State Dinner.”

I really feel for Chelsea. I felt bad for her when the other bride was all over the news worrying about how her guests are not going to be able to get from ceremony to reception without a 2 hour detour because of Chelsea’s wedding, too. Can you imagine waking up one morning as you’re heading into the wedding home stretch to discover that your parents’ crazy guest list and security issues have not only made your own wedding a spectacle but have also now interrupted someone else’s? Yuck. (At least, I would hope that she would have a little bit of sympathy for the other bride; but I also hope that she will have a much happier less cheat-y marriage than her parents, too.)

Not meaning to pick on you Sarah, but how do we know that the Clinton’s marriage is not a happy one? It bothers me that as a society we deem any relationship that doesn’t subscribe to our own definitions of committment as bad, unhappy or unhealthy.

we get people delivered to my office. how can I not read it? Speaking of a certain non celebrity getting married, did you hear about that poor girl who booked her wedding right near the non celeb location (the article said she booked it 2 years ago) and she is nervous none of her guests can get there now with all the security?