My stomach and I converse fairly regularly. We have a good rapport, and I would rate our communication at about an 8/10. That being said, my stomach does not often issue direct commands, so I am apt to listen when it does.

Call it the mystery of Twelfth Night, but this evening, my stomach decided that it was time for a chat. The conversation was somewhat similar to the iPhone4 vs. HTC parody* on YouTube. *contains profanity

Stomach: I want a steak. Where is the steak?

Me: Well, that’s a bit unusual. We don’t eat red meat all that often.

Stomach: I don’t care. I want a steak.

Me: We have a lasagna in the freezer.

Stomach: Is that a steak?

Me: Well, no.

Stomach: If it’s not a steak, why would I want it?

Me: But steak is kind of expensive.

Stomach: I don’t care.

Me: How about fish? Fish has almost as much iron, if that’s what you’re craving.