Do we really know what’s happening in our minds? Do we know ourselves? Can we control what happens inside us so that it doesn’t negatively affect those around us? Do we really know what we feel and how we feel it in each moment? Understanding our repressed emotions can be the most powerful weapon to help us understand our behavior.

Since the late 20th century, the study of neuroscience has been focusing on the relationship between the brain and our emotions. How we feel has taken on the importance it always deserved. Emotions are no longer simple automatic reactions. They’ve begun to have scientific relevance.

A new idea also emerged: that it’s necessary to teach people how to identify, understand, and manage their emotions in order to prevent repressed emotions from guiding their behavior.

“Each repressed emotion will stealthily leave its imprint on our behavior through emotional patterns that decide for us.”

-Elsa Punset-

That’s why we currently place so much importance on understanding our repressed emotions. This way, we’ll get to know ourselves and identify what happens inside us. It’ll also allow us to manage our emotions and act in favor of how we feel.

Understanding our repressed emotions helps us understand our identity

To know what happens inside you is to know yourself. Repressed emotions are those that we don’t want to listen to or try to ignore. However, they’re the ones that end up directing our behaviors and thoughts.

What you deny submits to you. Everything that happens to us, properly understood, leads us to ourselves.”

-Carl Jung-

Understanding our emotions gives us the opportunity to know why we act in one way or another. Everyone filters situations according to their feelings, which is why everyone acts in different ways. Our experiences lead us to see the world in a special and unique way. Each situation generates different emotions inside us. That’s why knowing ourselves leads us to understand how we act.

When we suppress emotions like anger, let ourselves get carried away by fear, don’t allow ourselves to be sad, or feel we don’t have control over our pain, we give way to an independent functioning of un-managed emotions. This is when emotions speak for themselves through our actions.

Stanford University conducted a study on emotions. It revealed that individuals with a tendency to repress their feelings reacted with a much greater physiological activation in trigger situations than others who, for example, showed anxiety or anger.

For this reason, it’s also normal for those individuals who don’t express their feelings or who have much more difficulty doing so to have more somatic problems such as muscular tension, headaches, skin reactions, or complicated illnesses. Their emotions find ways to be channeled in less functional ways.

How Our Bodies Store Repressed Emotions

Do we really know what’s happening in our minds? Do we know ourselves? Can we control what happens inside us so that it doesn’t negatively affect those around us? Do we really know what we feel and how we feel it in each moment? Understanding our repressed emotions can be the most powerful weapon to help us understand our behavior.

Since the late 20th century, the study of neuroscience has been focusing on the relationship between the brain and our emotions. How we feel has taken on the importance it always deserved. Emotions are no longer simple automatic reactions. They’ve begun to have scientific relevance.

A new idea also emerged: that it’s necessary to teach people how to identify, understand, and manage their emotions in order to prevent repressed emotions from guiding their behavior.

“Each repressed emotion will stealthily leave its imprint on our behavior through emotional patterns that decide for us.”

-Elsa Punset-

That’s why we currently place so much importance on understanding our repressed emotions. This way, we’ll get to know ourselves and identify what happens inside us. It’ll also allow us to manage our emotions and act in favor of how we feel.

Understanding our repressed emotions helps us understand our identity

To know what happens inside you is to know yourself. Repressed emotions are those that we don’t want to listen to or try to ignore. However, they’re the ones that end up directing our behaviors and thoughts.

“What you deny submits to you. Everything that happens to us, properly understood, leads us to ourselves.”

-Carl Jung-

Understanding our emotions gives us the opportunity to know why we act in one way or another. Everyone filters situations according to their feelings, which is why everyone acts in different ways. Our experiences lead us to see the world in a special and unique way. Each situation generates different emotions inside us. That’s why knowing ourselves leads us to understand how we act.

When we know what we feel, we can shape our emotions and try to digest them. When we listen to ourselves, we can understand and manage our behavior in order to act in an integrated and understandable way. Only when we give our repressed emotions a voice can we begin to understand our true identity.

Wellness is an active process of becoming aware of and making choices toward a healthy and fulfilling life. Wellness is more than being free from illness, it is a dynamic process of change and growth.

“…a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
– The World Health Organization

“a conscious, self-directed and evolving process of achieving full potential.”
– The National Wellness Institute

Why Wellness Matters

Maintaining an optimal level of wellness is absolutely crucial to live a higher quality life. Wellness matters. Wellness matters because everything we do and every emotion we feel relates to our well-being. In turn, our well-being directly affects our actions and emotions. It’s an ongoing circle. Therefore, it is important for everyone to achieve optimal wellness in order to subdue stress, reduce the risk of illness and ensure positive interactions.

Where should I show up? Who is attracted to Me? Where is my Tribe? What Do You Want? Need?

In my chase for answers to these questions and others ~ I’m evolving!

I’m demonstrating to you ~ that no matter what ~ low visibility, low interaction, scrolling past the actual content of a post. Lack of interest in the information being shared. Mimimal curiosity and moving on because the message didn’t resonate with you.

I have to remain resilient, persevere, and be confident that my Tribe is out there and attraction will occur.

If you’re part of my tribe, you will feel supported, understood, and loved. You will feel empowered and optimistic on your outlook on life, you will feel “I can do this”; you will also feel “I’m not alone in this” You will learn a great deal from my own experiences: the good, the bad and the downright ugly. You will see that you can overcome anything because I have!

Here is what I discovered about My Purpose and I fully embrace it!

My Purpose is…………….

Elusive and will slowly emerge as I put one foot in front of the other, following where my heart, talents and life seem to be leading me.

Evolving as I go through this journey, gaining wisdom about myself and receiving delicious, surprising clues from life; my sense of purpose evolves and changes.

Emerges from Experience as I set out on the course that feels and seems right to me, and I’m open to learning from it and adjusting.

Exactly perfectly timed. If I have a dream and my heart still beats with it, even though nothing seems to be happening, I’ll keep at it and not let go. I may feel it right to step away for a while and come back when it calls me again or circumstances shift.

Eminently qualified; I’ll just go for whatever calls me, not hesitating to go for something even if I don’t have all my ducks or qualifications lined up in a row.

Enjoyable Adventure. I’m not going to get too stressed about this or put too much pressure on myself about clarifying my purpose. My purpose might indeed be something grand and complicated, or it may be as simple as dispensing love and kindness wherever I go. I’m present in the moment, and delighted in watching it all unfold.

A few weeks ago, a student of the Color Code asked Jeremy Daniel, Vice President of Training for Color Code, a great question. She said, “I’m loving learning about how to adapt to work more effectively with each of the four Color Code styles, but I’m finding it difficult ~ constantly trying to act like a Red for one co-worker and then switch into Yellow mode for somebody else. Does it get easier to present as each of the colors over time???” While he applauded her commitment to applying what she’d been learning, Jeremy could tell she was seriously stressed over the idea of having to know everybody’s Color Code all the time and constantly trying to switch her style conversation by conversation. As the realization of what she was attempting to do sunk in, He could see that she was simply overdoing things.

Jeremy shares with you the advice that he gave her in that moment. It was this: “Be yourself first. Then adapt, if necessary.” At the end of the day, it’s important to remember to be who you are. Remember to come from a place of authenticity, and you will be fine most of the time. People appreciate the fact that you are a real, unique, and completely valid human being. You have your little quirks, but so what? We all do! That’s one of the things that make others want to connect with us. Then, there are those times, or those certain relationships, where little adjustments need to be made to create improvements. Maybe your boss really is a hard-charging Red, and you know that you need to stick to the “Red playbook” to maintain his/her respect. Guess what? You can still be a Blue, White, or Yellow, and “speak” Red. Be yourself, but get to the point, know your facts, execute competently, and things will be fine. No major adjustment necessary! You don’t have to change your entire persona to try to fit in. In fact, that probably won’t work. It might feel forced or perhaps scripted. I hope that makes sense. As much as I love, preach, and practice the Color Code, I would also remind you to not lose the wonderful person you are along the way. Rather, just be yourself, understand where people are coming from, and use this wonderful tool to make adjustments as you need to. Here’s to your continued success!

Jeremy leads our Trainer Certification Program and has been teaching the Color Code and delivering motive-based applications to clients internationally since 1998.

Yellows and Blues are so opposite, it’s kind of comical. Yellows are carefree while Blues are professional worriers. Yellows are uncommitted and Blues are very committed. Yellows are self-centered and Blues are compassionate. These two colors are quite the opposite pair! For you Yellows out there who are married to or good friends with a Blue, it’s probably hard for you to understand them sometimes. If you don’t quite always know how to handle them, here are a few things you can do to treat your Blue loved ones right and help them stay sane.

1. Help them see their worries in perspective

Worrying is tough for poor Blues, even though they’re so good at it. Don’t ignore their worries and don’t act like they don’t matter, either. Instead, help them see their worries in perspective by listening to why the Blue is worried and pointing out why they don’t have a reason to be. For example, if a Blue is worried they aren’t a good enough parent, ask them why they think that. If their answer has more to do with something they’re doing or not doing and not anything to do with their child’s behavior, help them see that. Point out evidence as to why they’re doing a great job and how much their kid loves them.

2. Combat their perfectionism with FUN

Blues are perfectionists, which can be a source of stress for them. As they go about their lives trying to be perfect in their behavior, relationships, work, various projects and to-dos, their mental health may suffer. Try to help break them of this perfectionism by showing them how they don’t have to be perfect and it can be fun. For example, if you’re married to a Blue, chances are they really like a clean house. But spending the weekend cleaning isn’t fun and may take way too much of their time as they try to perfectly polish the baseboards. To help them ease out of some of their perfectionism, take a weekend and camp out in the living room. Build a fort, buy some snacks, sleep on the couch cushions on the floor. Even though the mess may make them a little crazy, show them it’s OK to have fun and disregard responsibility for a weekend and that the mess can still get cleaned up later and it’ll all be OK.

3. Let Your Contagious Attitude Rub Off

Blues are very emotional and with their natural limitations of being overly sensitive and moody, life’s not always a happy dance for them. But Yellows’ natural gifts of being enthusiastic and optimistic are such a breathe of fresh air to be around. Blues need you and your happy nature to help them see the bright side of life. Watch Jimmy Fallon with them, take them out to an amusement park or just do something simple and fun together like go on a picnic and help them get out of their head. It’ll be good for them! Yellows, you need Blues and Blues need you. Your strengths and gifts are such a blessing to them, please don’t underestimate that. Blues, what do you appreciate about the Yellow personality? Tell us in our comments below this post!

1. Think About Other People’s Feelings First. One commenter mentioned the hardest part about being a Red is, “trying not to hurt people’s feelings with my direct opinions all the time – keeping my mouth shut.” We think she’s awesome for recognizing people’s feelings and thought it might be helpful for Reds to try to think more about their friends feelings rather than their need to voice their opinion if it’s one that may cause bad blood. Let’s say your friend dyes their hair blonde, and it looks pretty terrible. They may be either A. Already beating themselves up about it and hoping other people don’t think it looks as bad as they do or B. They like their hair and could be pretty offended if you said anything to the contrary. Even if you think they made a mistake, take a second to think about the impact of your words before you say anything. It basically boils down to the famous “Bambi” quote, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

2. Take Five and Educate Someone Else. Let’s say you’re at work and your boss says something they heard over the weekend that you know is wrong but you also know it would be disrespectful to argue with them. Instead of arguing with them, take a little break when you get the chance, maybe at lunch, and text your spouse or a friend the actual fact. Maybe your boss will never know a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable, but telling someone else this fact may be an outlet for you to feel like you could say something in a context that was more appropriate.

3. Give Yourself a Limit Reds, it’s not like we want you to be silent participants in life. We need you. We think you’re awesome. If you know you’re right and someone else is suffering from wrong information and they NEED to be educated with the facts, speak up! Alternatively, everyone makes mistakes and you probably will have those days when you speak too hastily and offend someone or you annoy someone with your constant argument winning. If you happen to do this, make sure you set a limit for yourself on how much you can be outspoken in one day. If you’re having a rough morning and fail to zip your lips in situations that called for it more than 3 times, try to take yourself out of a situation where you might do it again if possible. Reds, we hope our suggestions help you find it a little easier to keep quiet in the right situations. We are all about helping each other become better–or more “charactered” as we like to call it. Are there any Reds out there who have additional advice? Let us know by commenting under this post.

Try on their shoes… …metaphorically speaking that is. Let us explain. If you’ve been reading our blog or are a fan of the Color Code you probably already know that the “antidote” to any personality limitation you may have will always be found in a strength of one of the other personality types. That’s why we stress the importance of knowing as much as possible about all the colors. So with that in mind, today might we offer a small tip on how to tap into the compassion that comes so naturally to our Blue friends? It’s so simple you’re probably going to dismiss it, but we encourage you to take a moment this week to at least consider how you could add a little more compassion into your life. What is this tip you’ll likely dismiss? It’s taking a moment to consider how someone else’s personality would react in a negative situation BEFORE you react according to the way your personality may see things. By doing this one little thing, you’ll be tapping into the strength of compassion that Blues already do so well. For example, while a Yellow might quickly get over being laid off from a job and optimistically think they’ll find another one in a hurry, a Red may feel it’s a personal dig to how they performed at the job and feel angry about getting let go. In this situation, a Yellow who is struggling to feel compassion for a Red might consider how the Red is feeling so they can understand their reaction better and be more compassionate toward them.

That’s just a simple example but the point is this: considering other people’s perspectives and reacting from that point of view can hopefully help you understand their reaction to challenges and in turn help you feel more compassion toward their struggles. This is a win/win because the more compassion and understanding in the world, the better off we all are. So what do you say? Are you willing to try on some shoes this week? We certainly hope so. 🙂 And Blues, what other ideas do you think people can do to develop more compassion?

At the heart of resilienceis a belief in oneself—yet also a belief in something larger than oneself. Resilient people do not let adversity define them. They find resilience by moving towards a goal beyond themselves, transcending pain and grief by perceiving bad times as a temporary state of affairs… It’s possible to strengthen your inner self and your belief in yourself, to define yourself as capable and competent. It’s possible to fortify your psyche. It’s possible to develop a sense of mastery.

Real Authenticity:

true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character is sincere and authentic with no pretensions

Cutting to the Core:

Be pro-active about looking honestly at SELF and the patterns at work in LIFE.

Have you ever seen this kind of story play out either in your own life or in somebody else’s?

Let’s say there’s a woman named Nicole who is unhappy with life. She just really doesn’t feel very successful, so she vows to change. She ends up taking massive action and focusing like she never has before. Things start to change for Nicole, and she starts stacking up victories. Her persistence eventually leads her to achieve great financial success!

…But she’s still not happy, and she can’t figure out what went wrong.

Do you know someone like Nicole?

My guess is that you’ve probably seen something like that played out before. Of course, the scenario could be different. It doesn’t have to be about money. It could be about getting into a relationship, or losing weight, or moving to a new location, or having a child, or changing careers, or any number of other things.

It’s not that any of those goals won’t bring happiness or fulfillment either. They absolutely can! Change can be wonderful — especially if you pursue it in a healthy way and set yourself up for success.

Here are my three tips for doing just that:

Get Yourself.

Value Yourself.

Get Over Yourself.

I’ll explain. 😉

1. Get Yourself.

This one should be no secret and is perhaps the most obvious place to start. If you don’t yet understand the power of Self-Awareness, it’s probably time to start…

I mean, Socrates is the one who coined the phrase, “know thyself”, and the guy’s been dead for over 2,400 years!

It makes sense that you truly have to understand who you are and what makes you “tick” before starting on your journey to create change.

Taking the Color Code assessment is a great way to begin this process of self-discovery, as we help you determine the type of Driving Core Motive that powers your personality and affects your emotional needs and wants.

But let’s move on to the next step…

2. Value Yourself.

Here’s where the wheels come off for a lot of people. They assume that by creating the change they want by adopting new habits, etc., they will be led to happiness.

This is not always true.

It CAN be, but you have to start from a healthy place where you value yourself first. Too often when it comes to change, people are trying to create it because they have a deeply-rooted belief that they are not good enough.

What I mean is that somebody, somewhere, or perhaps society/popular culture, convinced them that they are not valuable just as they are — that somehow, they are fundamentally flawed. We can even convince ourselves of this.

Sometimes this way of thinking happens when we constantly compare ourselves to others. I’m a Yellow, so it might be easy for me to look at a Red who is completely focused on their career and wish I could be that way. Then I might look at a Blue who is naturally organized and feel bad about myself for not being so as well. Then I begin to envy somebody with a White personality because of how patient they are.

Every time we compare ourselves to others in a way that results in negative self-talk, we chip away at our own feelings of self-worth.

Comparisons are dangerous, because we forget that just because somebody has different talents than ours, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have our own special abilities as well — and that they are not just as remarkable!

(Please Note: Comparisons are equally dangerous if they make us feel superior to others because they can’t do certain things that we can do.)

If we first value who we are, then we embark on the change process because we want to add to what is already good, then we know that the change can and usually will lead to the increase in happiness that we are seeking.

3. Get Over Yourself.

The cartoonist Walt Kelly is famous for writing, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

It’s true, isn’t it? We have a knack for getting in our own way. Sometimes our very strengths taken too far create limitations. Take Blues for example. Once, when talking about Blue strengths and limitations, I asked a group what the difference was between being detail conscious (a Blue strength) and being a perfectionist (a Blue limitation).

In a quick-witted reply, one of the participants quipped, “About five hours!”

So we have to take inventory of ourselves. Let’s focus on our strengths, but not allow our limitations to dictate the outcome of our efforts. This takes constant, vigilant monitoring, but it can be done.

The other way that we need to “get over ourselves” is when we just take ourselves too seriously. In the change process, a little humility can go a very long way.

My promise to you is that if you apply these three steps to the changes in life that you are trying to make, you will give yourself every opportunity for a lasting, happy and positive outcome.