“I tried explaining to her that there was an unlimited supply of entertainment on the telly, but she just looked at me as if I was the stupid one.”

Bradford said: “It incorporates elements of mime, contemporary dance and puppetry, combining them with an honest and affecting story exploring the emotional effects of isolation. The Times described it as ‘moving yet innovative and surprisingly playful’.”

Hayes added: “Fuck that. I’d rather go to the dentist.

“However in a relationship you have to make compromises and share each other’s interests, so I’ve agreed to go if I can stay in the bar, exploring the emotional effects of beer.”