Thursday, August 20, 2009

Love, Lust, Crush…Who Gives A Rat’s Ass…Still Feels Good

My little core group of buddies and I have been talking quite a bit about this lately…always feel kind of like the biggest dork in the room with this freaking conversation comes up, so not good at this junk. The thing is, I’ve been blessed with great loves in my life, loves that consumed me, crushed me, elated and deflated me. The thing is…I still love them all, (well aside from one…what a fucker he was) for the time, passion, laughter, tears, love and even the broken heart. With each roll of the punch I learned something about myself, felt like my capacity to survive was greater…made me stronger. So here’s the deal, while I have had “great” love I’ve had very few of them.

Before you go feeling sorry for me let me clarify that, I’ve had few but it was by design. I tend to love with my whole heart so that window is very rarely open…got to protect myself and stuff right? Few have wiggled through the crack but the ones that managed to survive, (God only knows why they kept trying, such a pain in the ass) are there for good. Not acting like that’s anything special, I’m sure many people are the same way, just getting all nekkid in front of you and stuff, so you have the whole picture. So love, not an expert.

The lust thing leaves me in a constant state of, “What the hell?!” what inspires some people’s naughty bits to tingle is just boggling to me. Like The Real Housewives of Orange County, the fact that anyone is hot for those chicks…baffled. Like 90% of what I see sold as sexy or lust inducing, it so isn’t…least for me. Most of the “hot chicks” on television or in the movies, they all look the same to me….just in varying shades, yawn. The dudes, same issue I don’t know my Eric Bana from my Shia La Beouf, (and yes, I had to look those up…um and never google Hot Guys, I might just be scarred for life) must be my lack of appreciation for aesthetics but very little of that braded kind of sex appeal appeals to me. I’m “inspired” by talent, experience, intellect (the hubby raised my eyebrow because he was kicking ass in video trivia) articulation, (might just be the hottest one for me, a man that can move me with his words…tingly naughty bits) and passion…think Vincent D’Onofrio in Law & Order…Rawr.

I’ve never been led around by my lower half, my “junk” is directly linked to my dome and the tiny, gooey bits of matter that are working up there. I’m so aloof about that carnal lust stuff, (okay you can feel a little sorry for me now) only time I become aware of it is when it is in my grill, never a pleasant way to find out by the way…ughh. Not trying to yuck anyone’s yum, I’m still working that strip tease and all, I know how important it is that we bloggers are all transparent and crap. So love and lust…I suck at both, but I still have one card up my sleeve, (it’s like a three of clubs, don’t get too excited) crushes, I’m great at crushes!

I get tons of them, been lucky enough to inspire a few in others too, crushes I get. This little love makes sense to me, I even adore the fact that the name is the freaking opposite of what it is…crushes don’t really crush, they kind of tingle then go away, perfect! I’ve had crushes that lasted less than an hour and some that lasted years, none of them stung or anything…made my tummy flip, made me think, wonder, and confused the gooey matter controlling this train wreck but never enough to click things into the “lust” mode. So when the topic comes to crushes well then, then I can weigh in.

So I whole heartedly admit, my biggest crushes have been on chefs and winemakers…guess the way to a woman’s heart aint all that different huh? I adore getting lost in yarns about harvest, farmers markets, punch-downs and broken sauces…the thing I love? Watching this person, this person that was able to put this on my plate or in my glass, talk about how they did it…their fears and insecurities right there on their face…damn. So beautifully human that it just moves me…inspires me. I get to sit there, food on my plate or wine in my glass as this very exposed person spins a tale for me…urging me, pulling me closer to the thing that is already giving me enormous pleasure, hot as hell.

So much of the wine talk out there is so technical, so studious and I get that but….I just wish people would let themselves feel something. Fall in love, lust after, get a crush, just let yourself fall a bit…. it feels pretty freaking fantastic, and with wine…the winemaker wants more than anything for you to feel something. The thought of people just gulping down their wine without one iota of thought as to what it took to create it must just be, well….crushing.

We may not fall in love every time but…talk to us winemakers, a few of us are aching to listen, fall in lust, love or, (what is the pre word for crush?) really-kinda-dig with you…oh and the people that listen to us, they are ready too. (singing) Let's do it...lets fall in love.....

8 comments:

Sam, dear, it doen't seem to me like you have writer's block! - though maybe you don't have as much time to write as you want (I know that's my problem - no posts in two months but 5 in draft!)

It's writing like this that keeps you at the top of my Google Reader list. I love the way you can open up a can of emotional whoop-ass on wine and food - and the people who make them - like nobody else. You are one of the few who can put it out there this way - my own writing is just topical and dry by comparison, as are so many others.

Thanks for letting us winemakers know that you've noticed and it matters to you what we go through to put that bottle in front of you. I've always said its a bit like performance art - not so provocative as Karen Finley perhaps, but every bottle is some part me (insecurities, flaws and all - my own strip-tease) and puts me in your life, I hope at a moment of pleasure. It's my humble way ot trying to make a little positive difference in the world.

So, in my life where crush has two meanings and I'm gearing up for the annual big one, I will confess to a little one on you - oh, and on that Pastis you introduced me to ;-)

John, Oh dude, I am so blocked...this post was brought to you by Domaine Dragon Cotes de Provence Rose, a bottle of it. That being said I am absolutely moved by people that create things for my pleasre...and I do let myself fall in love/crush with them for it, so thank you! Oh and that Pastis....far more compelling than I, so glad you dig it.

Ron, So the "fucker" I was talking about, cop...go figure! The chef thing though, still have a weakness. Oh and I just Twittered you that application.