Oh dear me... as someone who entirely share your sentiment about dentists, I can really feel your chagrin!! Since this is THEIR fault you should make THEM pay for all the valium you have to take while sitting around and brooding over the postponed appointment!!

Speaking of dentists, I had oral surgery last week - removal of two teeth I'd had crowned 2 years ago at a cost of $1400 each. Now I had to have them extracted. I was given Darvocet for pain and I must be allergic to it. It has taken almost a week for me to be able to feel like I'm walking straight. I couldn't drive anywhere last week and couldn't stand up without feeling I was going to topple. I'll never take that stuff again.

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Most of you know the he## I went through with my oldest son. Well, thanks to him, my mother's day was just CRAP!!!
When he came back home, my one stipulation was that he would not be staying at his friends house every weekend drinking and and not saving his money. Of course that is what he has started doing again. I have always griped at him and threatened and not really done anything. I have tried to be understanding of him go through his "growing up" stage. Well, I told him last week that I didn't want staying at his friends last night because I wanted him here to go with me to my mother's resting place and take my Mammaw to lunch, as we do EVERY year. Saturday, he called me and said, word for word, " I'm going to ##'s house, you can pick me up in the morning to go" I told him no and he kept asking why. I was at work and told him that I had to go, but, he better not stay over there. I got home from work and he STAYED AT HIS FRIENDS HOUSE ANYWAY!!! I was so angry!! He called and I told him that I would not come get him this morning and told him that he chose his friends over me and to deal with his choice. I cried all night!! I cried this morning while I was alone and getting ready. He called and said happy mother's day, I told him thank you. I also told him as I cried again, dang it, I tried not to, but, I told him that he broke my stipulation and that all he cares about is hanging out with his friends and that I was tired of it and I couldn't do it anymore. I told him to find somewhere else to live. By the time I hung up, he voice was low and quivering and he said happy mother's day again and he loves me. My day was really bad all day. My youngest went with me though, so, that really helped. They went in half on a tennis bracelet for me too. I didn't know until after talking to him and I haven't told him thank you. I talked to him again when I got home and was going to go get him and bring him home. He told me that I told him to leave now, so, he wasn't coming home, I hung up on him! I did not take 2 calls that he made to me, but, he left a message both times and said he loved me and he didn't understand what was going on that he had been upset all day. HE HAS????
What is sad, he doesn't understand why I'm so upset. Please, tell me the truth, am I wrong in feeling this way? I'm I being selfish and not giving him a chance? Most you know how he has been before, so, you know this is not the first thing that I have felt uncared for by my first born.

Texas,I'm sorry your Mothers day was a mess. Your son is a young man now not a kid..He has to learn what you say you mean. It's your house, he is allowed to live there as your son. Your rules are your rules, he obeys them, or else..You can't let him run over you time after time. He has to lear to be responsible and if it means some hard knocks, then it's hard knocks.Yes, it will hurt you and make you want to say oh that's alright..NOPE MOM you stick to your guns..He has to stand on his own,where will he be when you can't take care of him like this anymore. When YOU need help, will he be grown up enough to pitch in for you? Stick to your guns TG, he will be a better man for it and you will be able to rest easier knowing he can care for himself. Love him yep, to the very end..Love does not mean we are doormats, Love, means sometimes being a hardnose,, I know how hard this can be, believe me I do..But, I stood my ground and now I have 4 wonderful,responsible, loving adults I love and am proud of...You will too TG.

Location: I live in the Heartland of the United States - Western Kentucky

Posts: 15,162

Quote:

Originally Posted by kadesma

Texas,I'm sorry your Mothers day was a mess. Your son is a young man now not a kid..He has to learn what you say you mean. It's your house, he is allowed to live there as your son. Your rules are your rules, he obeys them, or else..You can't let him run over you time after time. He has to lear to be responsible and if it means some hard knocks, then it's hard knocks.Yes, it will hurt you and make you want to say oh that's alright..NOPE MOM you stick to your guns..He has to stand on his own,where will he be when you can't take care of him like this anymore. When YOU need help, will he be grown up enough to pitch in for you? Stick to your guns TG, he will be a better man for it and you will be able to rest easier knowing he can care for himself. Love him yep, to the very end..Love does not mean we are doormats, Love, means sometimes being a hardnose,, I know how hard this can be, believe me I do..But, I stood my ground and now I have 4 wonderful,responsible, loving adults I love and am proud of...You will too TG.

kadesma

Ditto what kades said. I understand being a parent is difficult, but it still involves standing your ground and loving our children at the same time.

I can still hear the "It hurts me more than it hurts you." mantra, but it's true.

Hang in there, sometime, maybe many years down the road, you will be recognized and thanked for your stand.

Been there. Done that. With 8 children.,

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This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!