An Open Letter To Drake Regarding His Tumblr Hate

Drake, Drake, Drake. What did insanely popular blogging platform Tumblr ever do to you but provide you with hilarious GIFs and LOLtastic ragetoons to share with your friends? Oh, what’s that? It made you scared for your generation? Let’s explore.

According to the latest entry on your blog “October’s Very Own” (that resides on THE INTERNET, the last time I checked), you had a lot to say about ye olde tumblr.com: “The thing that scares me most is Tumblr. I hate what Tumblr has become. Because it…reminds me of those clique-y girls in high school that used to make fun of everyone else and define what was cool, but in five years, when you all graduate, that s*** doesn’t matter. No one gives a f*** about that s***.” Whoa. That’s some strong language coming from the man who’s own name returns approximately ONE BAJILLION results when you search it in Tumblr’s archives.

Listen, we get your sentiment. Some people on the internet are the worst. (Not us, right? RIGHT?) But some people on the internet are the best! And not to burst your hate bubble, because those are fun to live in sometimes, but I would venture to say you have quite a large number of FANS on Tumblr. Fans that, with the click of their mouse, have gotten a photo with the words “Take Care” (the name of your latest album) more than 2,000 notes. It’s not even a picture of you! It’s a picture of a teared-up piece of paper! Doesn’t exactly sound like a high school clique to me.

Anyways, bro, I get it. It’s hard to recognize that you’re actually popular. I used to have braces and glasses at the same time (also around the same time you were Wheelchair Jimmy), and this was during my crimping phase — I was tragic, but (according to friends and family) I no longer am! To quote a classic movie, “[You’re] not Josie Grossie anymore!” People like you! And they like you on the internet. So like them back.