2015-12-31

know you are in for some good fun when you've downed half the bottle of beer and vodka and your crazy friends machiavellian ideas pop up for Truth or Dare. You've been caught on the wrong foot when the bottle rolls towards your legs when the gang sit cross legged on the mattress on the floor.

Think and act fast: Truth or Dare. Common sense tells that you should opt for Truth for you might just lie to be on the safe side of life. Or, you run the risk of being harassed for the rest of your life by your mad friends. It's not that we don't enjoy the game and we do when the sword hangs on the head of your friends. Nah! You ain't spilling the beans when you are grilled on the one who want to sleep with in college or the chick you smooched or got naughty in the fresher's party. You run the risk of being stared at in college and getting angry stared. If she knows you've spilled the beans or confession about your lust for her, God only save you from the boiling blood of the angry woman. Saat Khoon Maaf for you may the one missing to complete her list.

The fun has just started and as soon as the clock struck midnight, you are asked to perform dirty dancing, kissing the wall or declaring your flame to the girl in the room. Don't think too much for the smarty pants know that you are lying or making up things. Who knows you might be filmed secretly and your antics will go viral on the net. There are other ways to be famous and if the next-door-aunty sees your video, even cops won't save you from your parents. Be ready to be given a sermon, Na Laaj na Sharam, on bringing disrepute to the family.

It's the time to rack your brains and be creative at least, rather than asking the same old questions, 'How did you break up or where did you have sex or making up with a sex worker?' It can be so lame!! Honestly, I remember us playing Truth or Dare when someone asked something on the line of which actor you like the most among both of your favorites. It's a tale of not knowing what to ask. Make it sexy and hot!! I love being controversial and once asked my best friend in front of his girl friend whether he's game for some action with his ex. You can imagine the expression on the face of his girl friend.

Truth or Dare

Ok Truth!

Have you ever stripped?

When was the last time someone saw you naked?

When did you last tripped on the dance floor?

Did you propose to a stranger on the street?

Have you ever fallen for your best friend's partner or lusted about the aunty next door?

Dare with the question and ask the dude, known to be a prankster, to wear a sari and dance to the tune of 'Jab Tak Hai Jaan' from Sholay or ask the random boy or girl to smooch for 5 seconds. Do it at your own risk! Or asking someone to run naked on the street. It's another thing that you might be thrown off the house and made to sleep like a homeless.

Such games are always fun when we get to know the dirty secrets of pals and it makes for a juicy encounter. Sometimes, I would spin the bottle with speed to ensure it doesn't go back to me or measure the distance in my mind to target my victim. I enjoyed playing Truth or Dare with friends during college days and it was the bestest part of life. How I miss playing it? Hope during the next reunion, will insist that we play for the sake of old days. What's your story of Truth or Dare. Spill the beans.

2015-12-24

Santa Claus! Santa Claus is coming!Polish the shoes shiny black,paint the town by wearing red.Decorate the X-Mas tree with trinket and bells.Stay awake till midnight,the eyes getting all teary but finally the lids close.Tired of waiting for the white bearded fellow,crossing the seas, clouds and mountains.He's an old dude, carrying bundle of gifts for everyone.Sad, I can't see him and say Hi.I always wanted to hold his hand, touch his skin and feel how real he is.Hey! Old chum! Every time, I miss you to death and reveal yourself this time,for I wanna whisper my wish into your ears.So many dreams to share and convey my aspirations to you for you can make them real.Fascinated I am with your boots, red clothes, specs falling on your long nose and white beard.Where do you come from?What do you?Where you stay?I wanna know it all, everything about you.Come on! Spell it out!Do you drink wine?I shall keep some vodka for you.They say, variety keeps you hale and hearty.I wanna see all my toys and goodies in the misty morning.Excited I am! Hungry for more.I wanna all the toys, miracles and happiness.Every December 25, you make a difference to children like me in spreading happiness.You make me glow.I shall make a positive difference to the lives of others.It's a vow.Perhaps, only then I will not doze on X-mas and we will meet.Longing to see you, Santa Claus.Merry X-Mas.With LoveVishal

2015-12-11

Donald is not a duck but a Trump and the joker in The Dark Night would fade in comparison if the man of the moment had its way in the US Presidential election. How I wish to gorge on my favorite Donald burger minus the Mc! How Donald's Trump is competing with his Indian counterparts on beef ban and everything that matters?

It seems that the Yankees version of Donald has been afflicted by the virus of banning Muslims. 'Train to Pakistan' reloaded the US way and howz about an Indo-US version of star wars: Ticket to Pakistan vs Ban Muslims! Cool idea, na. And, we thought that such entertainment in the name of politics happens only in India or sub-continent. Na re! Na re!! It (Doesn't) Happen Only in India. Mithun-da must be clapping his hands, Kya Baat! Kya Baat! Kya Baat!

Namo's new found brother who was was separated at the railway station..who else? Barack da Obama must be smiling at the self-destructive trump card in the game. Our, Hillary Clinton is sweating less for the Donald's mouth mystery or jabbing, will make her cut her campaign trail short in the former constituency. Oh! I almost forget that our Donald doesn't have a specific constituency. No Man's Land yet banning everything. They say, Voldemort will slowly rise against Trump for people are warming to him. Sniff! Sniff!! Whatta jolly good fellow our Voldemort was to that Trump dude.

Politics is the perfect couch for strange bed fellows. How bout Donald Trump, business magnate, investing in a flick 'Ban ya ticket to Pakistan'. A joint venture that would give a boost to the 'Make in India' campaign and he can spread his wings to Pakistan in pockets where 'Nafratein' is at its peak. Our Trump will put his money in the mouth at places where hate is at its peak.

Heard that they are planning to ban this Donald in UK where 400,000 signatures has been reached. Whatta political career the man has in US!Truly cross over. He has already stopped short before hitting the highway. He might just give Imtiaz Ali a complex and must be wondering, why the fuck he made Highway. At least, I should have waited for this Donald Trump or better invite him to invest for a sequel on Ban the Highway.

Our Donald Trump is like Ram Gopal Verma who doesn't remember the movies that he makes nowadays since everything is screwed. Holy fuck! All India Bakchod would rant at this Donald. I am wondering what must the Donald wearing nowadays...sailor shirt, red bow tie and cap. Going at this rate, who knows our Trump might get lucky and hate mongers in India may just adopt him..Mere do anmol ratan ek hai Sakshi Maharaj aur ek Donald Trump.

2015-12-06

This written post is aimed to tickle your funny bones and is an imaginative take on Sooraj Barjatya in the Big Boss House. It's a fun take and means no offence to anyone.

It's better to sleep over books than watching Big Boss this season with contestants like Mandana, Prince and Rochelle giving heart attack to everyone. As if Rimi Sen was not enough for the world to run away from her. Super host Salman Khan is scratching his head wondering how to pep up the show with a new wild card entry.

Scratching his grey..oops matters makes some music twinkle at the back of his head. Salman is trying to recall where he heard the song that he is hating now. He hopped on his feet and starting humming. 'Prem Ratan Dhan Payo.' He smiled and started speaking to himself, so what it's crap..this Prem Ratan many hated. At least, I got Dhan It's pay back time on Big Boss. Holy crap! The guy gave me a break on the screen and I gonna return the favor on Big Boss. Sooraj Barjatya will be the star attraction and wild card entry. Let him irritate them to no end with his bull shit 90s philosophy of Parivaar, conspiracy and be a loving man hell bent to destroy romance, intimacy, cuss words and shouting on the show. Sooraj will increase the TRP.

Let the music play. The contestants woke up to a medley of songs, Prem Ratan Dhan Payo, Hum Saath Saath Hai and Wah wah Ramji, in the morning. A shadow emerged with a big tilak on the forehead, rimmed spectacles and dressed in dhoti, singing a bhajaan. It's Sooraj Barjatya, the new wild card entry.

The fight started in no time after BB contestants touched Sooraj's feet and take his darshan for some dhan to win the show. After all, Prem Ratan Dhan Payo minted crores. Rochelle and Mandana tore into each other's hair after doing the belly dancing, almost dropped everything to seduce the men who ignored them, more interested to get a role in Sooraj next. So what, they will do the usual bull shit in becoming saintly men and playing upright patriarch, going high on traditional family values a la Sanskari Babu, Alok Nath. The race is on: Sanskari Babu has been caught in an uncompromising position with a bimbo-cum-starlet in a car. BB contestants are leaving no stone untouched to become Sankari and pure desi ghee.

The show's TRP is boosted every week, taking India by storm listening to the two piece gyaan by Sooraj on how to keep the family together. BB is a united family based on our cultural values, he says. Contestants have stopped fighting and are often seen sitting in satsang. It has become the new Parivaar show, lighting agarbatti every hour. The audience is glued to their screen watching Sooraj wisdom, "BB has become a big united family where there is no room for jealousy but only devotion. Everyone is a couple but without lust where the women touches the men feet, addressing them as Swami," the spiritual film maker reflects.

Sooraj is planning to make a sequel to Prem Ratan Dhan Payo meeting Vivaah inside the Big Boss House with all the contestants. There is no room for lust or intimacy but only pure love with everyone wearing traditional clothes and dressed from top to toe. Sooraj says every man attracted to a woman in the show must be like brothers and sisters. He told Salman Khan that the show will no longer be called double trouble and he has already composed 40 songs, that will be shot every 20 minutes. The film maker is on to beat Bahubaali with the film being 9 hours long. There will be Kapalbhati and whenever someone is getting into fighting mode, he or she will be met with silence, a bit like him in real life. Mandana will play the damsel in distress, shouting 'Naahin!! Naahin! Heard Rimi will make her comeback in a special appearance playing the vamp who just refuse to do anything but sitting like a statue.

There will only be devotional talks in BB, spreading love, devotion and prayers on how rich our Sanskaar is. As a rule, contestants are wearing lungis, super expensive saris and over the top make up and jewelery. No non veg food is allowed inside the house but only Bhojan cooked inside by the contestants.

Our Prem is fearing of losing his dhan now since he cannot give it back to the contestants during the weekend. He is already invoking the Gods on why he roped in Sooraj Bharjatya inside the house and regrets of doing Prem Ratan Dhan Payo. His bad boy turned tough task master image is taking a beating. Salman Khan wants to whip Sooraj and contestants-turned-devotees, on the ass.

The music started playing inside the House, getting louder and louder blaring into Sooraj's ears. He almost fainted, seeing Kim Kardshian making a grand entry, wearing nothing on her. She winks at Sooraj. He could only get the time to pack few of the belongings and stormed out of the house, murmuring, "Tauba! Tauba! So dirty! All my efforts to make Parivaar films has gone to waste. And, my Prem! He dared doing that to me. I need to purify my eyes and will take a dip into Ganga."

Host Salman Khan is sitting and laughing like a child, proud that he has been able to restore BB sanctity and purity from the devil eyes of Sooraj Barjatya. Once a virgin, dies a virgin, he naughtily whispers. No more Prem for me, only Dhan.

2015-11-29

Just imagine if the song, 'Ticket to Hollywood' from Jhoom Barabar Jhoom' had to be a remake, sequel or re-interpreted. What a multi-casting blockbuster it would have been with different versions as a dub mash of sort!

Let's sit with the cast, not caste dearies. First version, would be a promotion of Pakistani tourism featuring our movie heart throbs like Shah Rukh Khan and Aamir Khan playing damsels in distress. Twitter trolls, led by the ilk of Sakshi Maharaj, Munna Kumar Sharma of Hindu Maha Sabha, Yogi Adityanath and Sadhvi Prachi gyrating to the tune of 'Ticket to Pakistan.' The Pakistani Government, a lil birdie, tells are quite confused what to make of it: On one hand, it's boosting their tourism prospect free of charge and on the other hand, thinking how to accommodate so many Indians, willing to leave their land to hop to their neighbor. A migrating crisis that would beat Hum toh Chale Pardesh, Pardeshi ho gaye, to death.

Heard Aamir Khan is busy packing the DvD's of Ghulam, Taare Zameen Par and Delhi Belly in bundle to bribe the Pakistani Government to host his family, Sarfaroshi ki tamanna. SRK is rehearsing his lines, thinking what to sing and dialogues to mouth at the Jinnah International Airport. Our two biggest superstars can be seen dancing at the airport, 'Ticket to Pakistan.'

A truly cross over hero, our Modi-ji is and heard he is on the way to replace Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan as heroes with global appeal. Move on AB and SRK, the new hero is NaMo. Alisha accompanying Modi-ji, singing Made in India and she's on the way to sing at the Cannes festival with Modi-ji doing the sync act. Aadmi topi Dhoop ki chaun, Manhattan...New York.

Heard Steven Speilberg wants to make his next magnum opus with Narendra Modi after the dub mash has gone to viral on You Tube. According to grapevines, Make in India aur Mann ki Baat has been decided by both Speilberg and Modi to make the movie the biggest bilingual blockbuster in Hinglish.

Next is Vishwa Hindu Parishad dubmash carrying a huge poster of Kareena Kapoor, which they renamed Love Jihad. The dub mash, Woh Chali Woh Chali hum ko chodke' seems to be the sleeper hit of the year. Heard VHP has roped in Yo! Yo! Honey Singh for a new version of 'Party with VHP' and adding Tumhi Ho Bandhu Shakha with huge posters of NaMo to give it a bigger twist. Ek Selfie le le re, with NaMo in a new dub mash video, showing his fixation and love for selfie. Adding zing to it, heard an unknown film producer known for making C-grade movie wanna shot Modi-ji in the old Akki Baba 90s flick, I am a bachelor hoon, akela bimaar hoon' to be screened exclusively on You Tube.

2015-11-27

It was the day that changed our lives forever. Mumbai would never be the same again. The day that changed it all, 26/11. We knew how wounds would, perhaps, never heal in maximum city. It was a grim reminder that every city has its limits and life abruptly stopped on that day.

It was a macabre day where lives were taken at leisure by merchant of death on the streets, restaurants, railway station and Taj Hotel. It pinched the heart to see places you frequented almost everyday was the prey of terrorists. It's unimaginable what happened in Mumbai. How terrorists entered India so easily in boats? A clear case of carelessness where security zones were not checked.

It's been seven years since mayhem struck in Mumbai and a hotel was hijacked by terrorists. It still run deep in our nerves how people were ruthlessly killed in the city. It still makes me angry. How I wish we could live without this terror attack!

Lives that has no price,

blood everywhere,

reminds us of hatred for humanity.

There is only one emotion, love,

that maketh us conquer hatred.

We may have moved on and picked our thread,

the past shall not be buried.

It reminds us of the blood shed.

I can imagine desperate cry of agony and faces of people who would pray to be saved from the clutch of death. Children losing parents and mothers losing their children. Sometimes, I wonder what leads to so much hatred in the world and what has the world done to deserve such ruthless act? It was an attack on the soul of the city and the sacrifice of the army, police and NCG who didn't bother about their lives to restore the city to normalcy and rescuing people. One witnessed how people came together, waving to soldiers and distributing water to them. In moments of distrust where life in the city was brought to a halt, one can see positivity in action. It was all a question of trust. The people putting their implicit faith in their heroes.

This day, 26/11 remains entrenched in our memory. We cannot say that we have moved on for we know certain things never do. In a city where we celebrate life, this attack took away a bit of ourselves and a slice of joy from our lives. We would all feel the flame missing in our lives, somewhere, despite kneeling and holding a beautifully lit candle in the palm of our hand. It's really sad how 7 years later, everyone has forgotten about the Mumbai terror attack.

The attack dawned upon me that we need to cherish every single moment in life since there is no guarantee about life. Spread cheers and light the heart of a stranger, bring a smile on faces, do not spoil our relationships for life is precious. Make the most of every single moment in life.

I take a bow to the victims, soldiers and police not just in Mumbai attack but in places like Paris, Aghanistan, Beirut and regions who are the prey of terror attack every single day.

2015-11-21

Train was burnt and passengers charred to death. Desperate voices of women and children, crying to be spared. Bombs exploding and human ruthlessly killing their own with guns and swords. The old man sat on his knees, smoking a beedi and reflected on his paradise land where his people would die to protect each other from outsiders who attempted to divide communities on religious and ethnic lines.

Image credit: Google/Reuters

The Maulana, Pandit and Catholic priests would eat together, share a good laugh spreading the values of unity, mutual respect and teaching the virtues of religion to children, irrespective of faith. The man who grew old in the village recalls the days as a kid where he lived by the flowers, trees, mountains and lakes in the paradise. He would tend the cattle who would wander faraway, fearless and without the worry of being attacked. Nature encapsulated his life with friends who has names like Ram, Rahim and Christ.

The children would sleep at night, outside the tiny huts, lazy on the green paddy fields. In those days, the fields were more comfortable than the modest mattress inside the hut. How the children would chase each other and playing imaginary games. No strangers would scare them. The bell in the temple, azaan in the mosque and carols sung in the church would make them leap with joy.

One day, a group of vile men entered the village, taking over every pocket and divided the villagers, forcibly gutting wrong religious scriptures. It never existed. Fighting over supremacy of holy scriptures. The villagers fought among themselves while the rulers sat on the throne and smiled at their ignorance.

He feels saddened watching his paradise burn where men were tearing each other to death. It became a common sight to see men and women killing each other, huts burnt and children kidnapped. Fire and explosion wrecked the peaceful existence that was lost in translation. He couldn't recognize the paradiasical land where men and women looked with contempt at each other. Children and women running for their life in opposite directions and praying the almighty to relive them of this cursed life.

His wrinkle ridden face made a small prayer, "Lord! Save my village. Destroy everything and re-create the paradise filled with love and simplicity. Plant a new tree and let it bloom all over the place to create love and defeat hatred. Shoot the arrow of flow on those who throw bombs."

The cigarette slipped on the ground from the weak finger and the rush of wind forcefully burnt it into ashes. He lay still and motionless, in a squatted position on the ground and his face wore the grief, that took him in the paradise, that he longed for. His frail body abandoned the fight against the faces of evil and the almighty listened to his prayer, relieving him of the pain where his thought reached the dead end.

2015-11-02

You've been spending hours and sleepless nights chatting on Facebook and whatsapping naughty jokes, sharing sweet nothings and romantic notes. The time is ripe to see each other in flesh. I've been on a couple of blind dates in the past during my 20s and most of the time, nothing came out of it with Hi and Bye while the last time, A gifted me a Steve Martini book and a kiss, of course, on the cheek. What to do and not to do on a blind date.

Image credit: Google

1. Time and place to meet, Your's or Mine

A was very obstinate and told me in no equal terms that she is the one who will decide when and where we will meet. The decision was her's and I only insisted that we need to meet before I move to Pune. The trick lies in making sure about the identity of the person and to ensure that you are not speaking to a perv or someone playing tricks on you. We were speaking on phone at a time where there was no FB or Whatsapp, shedding pocket money on chota recharge.

Always make sure that you meet in a place filled with people so that you are not stranded or the person acts smart with you. Honestly, I was a bit tense and can't remember what I wore, though we agreed on what and how we will look like. She had short hair and was dressed in a Kurti on denim. We entered a restaurant for Cola-the time I was drinking the beverage-and made a quick exit in her car. We kissed in the car, on her cheek, you naughties.

2. Dress well but don't over do

I always believe that it's important to dress in what one is comfy for the first or blind date. You don't need to be jazzy or going over the top to kill. Over dressing can be an absolute no no and may scare off the other person. Keep in mind that both of you are strangers and not friends who would tolerate each other's garish clothes. It's a major put off to see someone be dressed over the top and lacking basic fashion sense. For guys or gals, simplicity works. I always believe in putting a nice tee or shirt on the denim, not those tight jeans that you would not able to sit or move your assets.

3. Keep the conversation simple

It's the first step and don't step on his or her toe on the first date itself. Being over friendly on a blind date and acting over smart to know everything, be it, first boy friend, ex-es, family and friends and sex life can make people run away from you. You will sound like a despo. It's very important not to monopolize the conversation and let the person speak as well. Keep the date short because at some point, both of you may go into silent mode and not knowing what to say.

4. Take time to be comfortable

Don't be stressed and take few minutes to settle yourself, between ordering coffee and striking the conversation. Sometimes, simple things like comment on the weather or city life may help to break the ice. Since, it's a first date, both of you may feel a bit out of place and stressed out. Just chill and be yourself, before you start speaking. You are not meeting after registering profiles on shaadi.com or some match making that you need to get hitched. Take your own time and if it works, build the relationship over time.

5. Avoid intimate, over touching gestures

It's a blind date and you can greet each other with a firm handshake, a kiss or a hug but avoid holding the person tight. It may also cause uneasiness if you constantly touch your date with hands or shoulders. It's an absolute No to go for smooch or getting intimate during the first date for it will spell doom and a recipe for disaster. Trust me, it might kill a relationship that has the chance of having a long leash of life and will, ultimately, turn out in it being a very casual affair or both of you end up being fuck buddies.

6. Recognizing each other

It's quite easy to recognize each other when both of you are meeting for the first time. While, it is normal to describe what each other will wear and descriptions such as hair style or height, what will happen if there is another person with the same set of description. The trick lies in one of you coming early and sitting in a particular place in a crowded cafe and whatsapping where you are sitting or standing. Always stand up, call the name before greeting the person.

7. Place to catch up

The best place to meet your blind date is in a cafe or open space where there is no hazard or being exposed to unpleasant surprises. Never ever make the mistake of going for a movie together or some crazy folks planning to meet in a hotel room. It can be very dangerous with people pretending to be someone else, hiding behind Facebook or a phone. Always be safe and enjoy the game of flirting and, of course, don't over do it.

A blind date is an amazing game of dating and catching up, sharing if both of you can hit it off. Have fun but at the same time, enjoy the blind date and trust me, it's damn fun.

2015-10-31

It started off with a conversation with a college mate based in Nepal with whom I shared a hate relationship during that time and as we hit a mature note, we hit off to understand each other towards the end of college. I stayed in his Pune apartment, the time I was planning to leave for Pune. It's been nine years from now where we spoke about the memorable days that we sorely miss. It got me emotional and penned this poem that I shared on Facebook last week.

It was the best of times; I fucked up, blurted out rubbish and behaved stupidly;
Fell in love many times, the first crush plays in the head like Beatles song, And In the End, the Love We Take Is Equal To the Love We Make.
Carefree days and innocence,
friendship made and carved.
Getting stoned and drunk every Saturday,we lived every moment of life;The 'Fuck' word was our swan song and used in every mundane conversation.Quibbles and fights with mates for we were immature.Give me back those days;I wanna blurt out nonsense, be stupid and immature again, fall for the wrong person;Following the heart and indulging in ludicrous antics;I wanna be this child again;Oh! Memories;How I wish to time travel, fuck up and be stupidly awesome.Those days were bliss!!Missing college life terribly.

Dedicated to all my college pals at Fergusson College and everyone who had the best of times in college, was stupid, and has now ceased to be.

2015-10-29

It's the season to love;Formless beauty:I go crazy at the sight of your hair hair fluttering with the wind;Jumping with the hand up to reach out for the skyon hearing your name:Wanna grab the star,and gentle put it in the palm on your hand for you are no less than one.Feel like dancing in the rain and soaking from top to toe,Dreaming about you;You are an angel and everything about is so perfect.Your magical face trigger happiness inside my heart.Till we meet another day in paradise.Exotic beauty and love you are.

2015-10-22

Revolutionary Pens is a Facebook initiative by Soumya Mohanty Vilekar where artists are connected across the globe to spread the message of peace and love, guard against dying humanity. A civilized society cannot nurture hate and murder small children on caste or religious differences. We must stop the inhumaneness. Soumya wrote a beautiful poem on her blog

Today, we were horrified to watch on TV how two Dalit toddlers were burnt alive and it pains us to see babies ruthless killed because they belong to a different caste. Originally, I posted on the FB page and sharing with you:

2015-10-17

Perhaps, it's time for you get a life after break-up. You've survived too much on this relationship where you stopped living, ceasing to be your real self and and loss of individuality is taking a toll on your life. Face it: You have turned into an emotional wreck where you are hanging on memory and blaming yourself for everything that didn't work out. Still stuck to the past and losing yourself, it's time to Move On. Do better things in life because you are worth more than just a break up, no matter how much long you've been together. Be real. Both of you are no longer together. Go and embrace your world for he or she belong to the past. It is a tough call after spending such a long time with someone but are you are planning to meditate over your break up or abandon the world by sitting on the mountains.

1. Pent up emotions

There are several pent up emotions that you haven't told you partner when you were in a relationship or during the break up phase. You need to release the energy or else it can afflict you for a long time. No, I am not suggesting you do a Kareena or Shahid in Jab We Met, calling your ex and spewing dirty cuss words in Hindi. Write in a diary imagining you are speaking to your ex, close the door in house after making sure there is no one else and imagine both of you are face to face, tell them the truth on their face. Flush everything, discard the letters, whatsapp messages or G chat. Feel free and empty your cup.

2. Friends

Nopes! I am not saying that you sulk and sit to watch friends on DvD or You Tube, with alcohol bottle by your side. Hit it off with your gang of friends, party hard and flirt with that handsome dude or hot chick at the pub or disc. Make the most of the time lost with friends when you were in a relationship. Good friends are the ones who always stand with us through thick and thin. They are the best ones who support us to move on through madness and thrill. Renew your bond of friendship for it makes lasting memories.

3. Write a book

Yes! You need to move away from the emotions that's holding you in the head and refusing to see life in a refreshing manner. There are many things one can do in the newly found single status. Write a book, a room com, anthology or a collection of poems. Writing is a good therapy after the break up, trust me. Even if it means writing on your past relationship, do it. Who knows you may rake up the moolah! Let the characters speak and take your revenge.

4. Productive activities

You wanted to do yoga, aerobic or pursue Reiki but that relationship was stopping. Now, that you are no longer in a relationship, indulge yourself and take care of your mental and physical. ME time can be a luxury that you can afford, Do meditation, go on a travel spree, spa things up and do things that your heart tells you. Spice your life with love offered by nature and you can well do without your ex-flame. Read good books, listen to awesome music and renew bonds with your loved ones. Just bulge your ass and conquer the world.

5. Meet new people

There is no such thing than meeting new people that gives you a sense of purpose and fulfillment in life. People come uninvited in our lives at the right time and teaches us sense of wisdom that makes us love and embrace life like anything. Never shy away from meeting new friends and indulge in soulful conversation over coffee. I made super awesome people in coffee shops and striking conversation that made me have a super duper outlook about life. Makes no mistake: It's a superb therapy to move on to better things in life.

6. Shopping

I always find shopping to be very therapeutic and makes the soul super happy. Indulge in the designer bag, branded watch, funky shoes, books, DvDs, jeans, tee and jewelery. Its a list for both dudes and babes. Be yourself and go on a shopping spree. Go mad and take your time, selecting stuffs that will make you jazzy.

7. Just Dance

Dancing can be very soulful, fulfilling and a source of happiness. Hit the disco, get drunk and dance till your drop to the latest chart busters in the wee hours of the morning. Dance with the gang or alone, how does it matter? Bare your soul out and be crazy, stomping on the dance floor. The world doesn't matter and it's only you. Put loud music in your flat and dance as if there is no tomorrow. After all, who needs someone when you can dance your way to heaven.

8. Never say no to love

Love always deserves a second chance. Meet new men and women, hit it off and a break up is no reason to shy away from falling in love or date for the heck of it. Don't get stuck in a relation that is buried in the past and who knows the next guy or gal may just be the one waiting for love. In love, we believe.

2015-10-13

The talkative Prime Minister sports two faces nowadays, one selling India abroad, 'Make in India' and the other bland avatar is donning a character like in our movies, 'Maun Modi.' He would have made a perfect anti-dote to Nana Patekar in Khamoshi. Yet, they pride themselves in sniggering at the liberal-cum-educated Indians as sickular.

The country is in tatters and we are hell bent in not only putting into jeopardy our hard earned freedom but destroy our social and secular fabric, where educated men and women have poured their everything into. Our freedom is being taken for granted. It is worrisome. It's a tragedy how many educated Indians are not challenging the threat to our social fabric and the trampling of civil liberties, respect for people of different faiths, read minorities and assault on the work of creative artists.

We live in a country where we revere the cow. It works for believers of a certain religion, the 'Gow-Mata' and for many of us belonging to this faith, like me, I refuse to make Gow-Mata an idol and icon of worship. I'll prefer to treat the cow with dignity and do my bit so that they don't eat plastic scattered on the streets, for instance. Then, who is listening?

Image credit: Google India

The cow, a peaceful and beautiful animal whom we choose to revere as Maa (Mother) has now become a brand and the new superstar, the the face of India. The humble and loving animal is being hijacked to further political agenda and a propaganda tool to spurn hatred and kill in the name of religion. Why I am not surprised that proponents of Hindutva will force the cow to convert in this whole agenda of 'Ghar Waapsi.' Since it is the 'Gowmata' for some, it can legitimately become a Hindu. Why not? Ask the Bhakts about it. They will tell you how the poor cow was converted against its will and they are only rendering social service in bringing it back to its root. At the point, the Maun Modi Government and his ilk, Rashtra Sewak Sangh and Vishwa Hindu Parishad military brigade are going, we shouldn't be surprised to witness the cow be declared the national animal of India where every Hindu must have one and worship in their Puja Ghar (prayer room). It's Ghar Waapsi, you see.
The cow will come to the rescue of Hindu Girls seen with Muslim boys who will obviously be beaten to death, See! Those Muslim lads are using a ploy to trap Hindu girls and what about the latter being married to the cow. It's Swach Bharat Abhiyan. After all, our PM, Maun Modi's pet show of selling India abroad and doling largesse, dollars to fund projects and inviting investors to put their money in India. A curious case of double identity. How about selling some cows to phoren land?!
We are living in dangerous times in the face of religious chauvinism and terrorism, preaching with force and violence on single religious identity. It is a perfect recipe for disaster when we are stomping on the rights of minorities, forcing them to adopt a lateral religious identity of 'Bhakt'. It will result in a loss of identity and such assault in a secular society like our means playing with fire. Just imagine the chaos that will create with backlash and people resorting to violence to protect themselves. It's like giving serum to extremists to further their agenda, be it Hindutva or Taliban. At best, the Indian Government and its acolytes is pushing the agenda of 'Hindu Talibanism.'
It's not without reason that writers are returning the Sahitya Akademi Awards to protest against the violence perpetrated against minorities. The Dadri killing is a grim reminder of what can unfold if intellectuals don't come together to protest against this violence of killing and hatred. In any secular democracy, each and every community must have the fundamental right to evolve through their religious identity and compressing everyone under Hindutva or making ridiculous statements that Muslims will not allowed in Garba means politics of alienation. We are sitting on fire that will burn the country. It's not the India that I recognize, a country we feel proud of for its secular fabric and freedom of expression.
The wound of the Babri Masjid hasn't healed yet nor Godhra killing where innocent people were ruthlessly killed and innocent women cum children raped. It's not unfortunate but black days in the history of India. We are treading dangerously. Where has our tolerance gone? A revised one nation theory. It's not our vision of Plural India, our forefathers fought for. It's jingoist politics, extreme and terrorism by Hindu outfits. This brand of hate politics where intellectuals opposing the Hindutva brand of jingoism are being targeted and termed 'Sickular' doesn't augur well for the nation. We are banning everything, from cow slaughter to turning down the performance of singer Ghulam Ali and protesting against the book launch of Kasuri's book. The famous black ink!!!
Prime Minister Modi's silence is stuff conspiracy is made of and it's hurting not only the BJP Government but India's image. A false impression of what India is not about. Voices of intellectuals and educated must be heard. They need to protest and they owe it to the next generation. We cannot afford to be a country filled with hatred, prejudice and religious intolerance with this vision of India as a nation of Hindus, where Muslims and Christians are not only living in constant fear but prevented to practice their religious beliefs. No country can afford to do that. It's not about Digital India or Smart Phones and no Swach Bharat can happen unless we respect and let difficult religions blooming together. In diversity we take pride. Let's say no this brand of religious extremism and state politics of silence.

2015-10-11

The traffic is coming to a stand still. Maximum City has suddenly stopped in its track and hearts are beating faster. Cars and buses are honking at Juhu. A phenomena has already rose and hit the city this October 11. A tall shadow has emerged as tears of joy flowing and the roads are turning into sea everywhere. It's the Big B's birthday, Amitabh Bachchan, Don ke jaise banna mushkil hi nahin namumkin hai. There was Amitabh Bachchan, there is Amitabh Bachchan and there will always be Amitabh Bachchan, Kal bhi Bachchan aur Aaj bhi Bachchan.

Today, the man turns 73, the forever young and evergreen who rules our hearts for more than four decades of acting and entertainment. He remains an inspiration to me always. Whenever, I am in the dumps, I try to think how Amit Sir would tackle this situation in life for it's his approach that turned things in his favor despite the challenges he faced and lows in his career.

The connect he has with the audience and his fans, is not only phenomenal but mesmerizing and there are very few like him who would do several retakes till he gets the scene right. I mean, it's a lesson than we should learn in terms of dedication, never lose hope and fight till the end. The kind of commitment he shows towards his work and how he bounced back post the Coolie accident when he was in the coma and rose like the Phoenix after his company, ABCL failed, to overturn his fortune deserves respect. Simply admirable and indomitable spirit.

Bachchan Sir is an inspiration to many of us and is a grim reminder that nothing is permanent in life whether it's pain or sorrow. The kind of patience he has displayed in his entire career is a great lesson that I keep learning and how despite achieving so much in life, he has always remained grounded and rooted. It's something that many of us should learn from him and I personally admire how he has managed his career with the never-say-die-attitude.

Sometimes back, I was going through a tough phase in life and Gayu, a good friend of mine who knows how much I admire Bachchan Sir, told me just imagine that my life is a film and that I am acting in it, I am Amitabh Bachchan and that he is sitting watching me. Once he is done watching me, he gives tips on how I could have bettered the act and change my perception about things.

Trust me, it was bang on and spot on action that brought a change in our attitudes to life. There are zillion fans of AB in India and many of us who aspire to be like him and be him. I cannot be him. There is only one Amitabh Bachchan who played an important part in shaping my life, whether it's watching his movies, overcoming his struggles and be successful in life. The very thought of thinking about the words he spoke and listening to him feels like magic. I tell myself, I gonna nail it. Just imagine that the man was in the dumps and people wrote him off, he overturned the situation to make KBC a household name and brought the world on its knees. This is power to me.

Now, you know why the man keeps inspiring me to be better at what I do and to overcome the rough weather. His baritone voice is like a magic wand and one gets the feeling that life will get better. What we need is patience, perseverance and hard work. Once I read in an interview how he said that his life is an everyday battle. How true! Or, reciting the verses of his illustrious father, Dr Harishnvansrai Bachchan verses, whether it's Madhushala or how pain or joy is momentary. It's one of my favorite quote: Mann ko ho toh achcha hai..no ho toh zyaada achcha hai!! Kyun ki phir wo ishwar ke mann ko hota hai aur iswar aap ko hamesha achcha chahega!!! (If things are moving against your wish then it's the almighty wishing good for you.), Jab tak Jeewab hai Sangharsh hai (Till there is life, there is struggle).

2015-10-05

I can breathe, I can dance, I can party!! I wanna pen the lyrics of this song that echoes the state of mind and celebrate life. As many of you are aware and if you have read my Facebook feed, I resigned last Monday and Thursday was my last date in office, informing them to cut one month salary for not giving notice.

What led to my resignation as Special Correspondent of a publication is quite a story that I intend to write as a novella some other day and yeah, it's been quite a story. Unfortunately, I didn't part on the best of note and let's keep that for another day. How I spent my last few days or hours as a journalist shall interest you in a way and thankfully, it's been good-the last few hours or days of assignment-in terms of coverage, networking and dinner.

Image credit: Google/https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com

Day One: Monday

-Covered a non-sensical event on Monday where the Minister's speech was boring and between bad speech, irrelevant grammar and bad pronunciation where he was eating his words, I prayed for coffee break. Met a former colleague who is now serving at an NGO and we discussed how the profession is facing the brunt of recession with people preferring to read news online.

- Had a discussion with the CEO on my resignation that enraged me and choose not to reply to his stupid antics. He took it personally and I let his ego speak for it's pointless to argue with fools.

Day Two: Tuesday

-Reached office as a good boy and get set to work on the last assignments for the week. I enjoyed reading a survey released by HSBC on the on the best place to live in the world for expats. I had too much fun reading and working on the document. I love doing such stuffs.

Day Three: Wednesday:

-Informed office that I shall be working from home, finalizing few pages for the magazine and sending to the 'editor' in office.

-Attended my last official event for the financial results of a leading hotel group, boasting of huge profit. I love such meet for networking purpose where one gets the opportunity to brush shoulders with leaders and exchanging visiting cards. It really helps one in career and I need to send my CV to few people I met. It was good meeting new people and having snippet of conversation. Networking works big time when you are thinking of the next career move and it helps big time more than sending thousands job applications.

Day Four: Thursday

-Here it goes. It's the last day at work and after wrapping up things, writing the last story and helping in the production of the magazine in terms of fitting stories on the software, working the headlines, it was time to clear the table. Thankfully, there was not much stuffs to discard as they have just shifted office. It was time to say bye to everyone and wishing best.

-I tagged along with a colleague for a cocktail and dinner event where I enjoyed amazing Malaysian cuisine. It's exquisite, yummy and mouth watering. The sweets melted in the mouth and watching the chef making peculiar way of breaking the egg on his wrist, mixing it with mutton and cheese in the wheat dough to give shape to the stuffed roti prata is unique. Adding to that, lovely and simple Malay Biryani made the heart happy. I was full to the hilt.

-Met a friend who was catching up at the hotel with colleagues over drink and he dropped me home. It saved me the ordeal of waiting for office transport which is quite an uphill task.

It's was 14 months of doing good work, writing and doing the running around to adhere to deadline in the newspaper industry. I doff my hat in pride that I have maintained the highest decorum of professionalism and learning so much on the format of writing in magazine, read feature stories, which is a far cry from newspaper format. I am on a short break and will try something completely new, a kinda transition job.

Post script:

Sitting at home and doing nothing. It's been four days of awesomeness and reading stuffs. I met my cousin sister who came down from UK and she left yesterday.Quite a few writing stuffs to do and catching up with movies and, of course, writing in the diary where I intend to jot the list of my small, medium and long term career goals on where I wanna see myself. Time for self-introspection.

2015-09-30

Is being in love enough in this age of complex relationship which is increasing coming under duress? R for Relationships has many feathers to its cap: fling, one night stand, on and off button, obsession for one another and committed. The kind of love flaunted in the universe of Facebook and selfie makes one wonder on what makes love rosy. Or, are we seeing things with tinted glasses!

The way we look at love and relationship has changed among the teens and new generation with smart phones and gadget applications. For teenagers, it's a shift in mores and the world is undergoing a crisis of sort with the altering of equation. Quick sex sounds like grabbing a burger for those as young as 14 in college who doesn't shy away from getting intimate with multiple partners. The India Today sex survey findings is revealing when it shows how there is no distinct between cities and small cities, where the young do not shy away in telling that they browse porn and do it with class mates. The risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is always present. It's a worrying trend. At the risk of sounding preachy, I can't stop myself to ask whether they will grow up in an increasingly insecure environment, plagued by emotional vulnerability.

Has city life and globalization made us vulnerable when we look at relationships where we are reeling under stress? We are a young generation of seekers, we look for love and if it doesn't work out the way we expect things to, we turn into emotional wreck. There are many hazards such as depression and lack of balance that often gives us a wrong perspective about things in store. The interesting part is that our expectations are not lowered when a relationship is not working but to the contrary, we constantly look out for that person who will offer us balance.

Image credit: Google

It's a change in social mores in an age where we becoming increasingly busy with work and we hardly have time to give to someone. I feel a relationship with no commitment string works out for us and after all, we are human beings who need a shoulder to lean on. There are many who abhor the changing face of love and relationship but the fact is that one needs to adapt to the complexity of life. How do we do that? We stop believing in the thing called romance or love by sitting like a spurned lover. This facet of being a sore loser doesn't find resonance in today's world.

I ain't pretending that we should embrace everything which is modern but the main argument is that we should avoid the pitfall of morality and judge people according to some societal yardstick. Rather, we need to mull on how to treat our relationships, in particular, one that has no future. Expectations from a relationship is something that must be dealt with in a very sensitive manner and knowing that it may not have a long leash of life, we shouldn't make it a priority over other stuffs such as friends, family or personal space.

Sometimes, we are ill equipped to deal with break ups even if it's a platonic relationship. Partners need this space and emotional disconnect to take care of themselves, which is often neglected. I have a great belief in 'Me time' where we can do activities such as yoga, treating self with shopping, spa and travel. It's very important to see the world and being a great believer in solo travel since it affords one the luxury to be with the self. One shouldn't make relationship the whole of one's life. It is part of our existence but not everything.

Why the rush to jump into back-to-back relationships post a break up? Me think that it's the habit of having someone by our side and we tend to get insecure at times with stress building up in our lives and the crack that we suffer from. We need to take thing slowly and breath easy. Rushing into relationships will not solve half of our problems and just because the whole world is getting on with a partner, that doesn't mean it will work for us. If love is destined to happen, it will and never be shy or stay away from it.

2015-09-20

A b(r)oom baby, I must have been in my past life, I tell you. Arre Baba! I just want to sweep those ridiculous jerks blessed with a foot-in-the-mouth who keeps on blabbering and harping utter nonsense. Look at our Cultural Minister, Mahesh Sharma going on an endless refrain, 'Bible and Quran not central to the soul of India' and women should not go out in the evening.

An irony flowing in my life. I just hate the broom to wipe off the dust in corners of the house. Gawd! How I hate using the broom when Mom was asking me to do some clean up! I whined and prayed how I can run away from home in protest and do dharna against the atrocity on a helpless child. Now, do I have a choice! It's better to take a dip in the Ganges. I am doing the same on this blog in my desperate attempt to clean up the dust accumulated by Sharma-Ji. By the way, what PM Modi doing apart from promoting Indian tourism all over the world? Swach Bharat Yojna!

I am thinking how about doing some moral policing in this post against the likes of Sharma-ji who loves sharing cup of tea and coffee with guests, a lil birdie tells me. This man loves showering Namaste to everyone who meets him in the lobby. Mann ki Baat, Sharma-ji kya baat. How about doing Kapaal Bharti to cleanse the mind and the thought-process? What's wrong with our Sharma-ji? He must be secretly thinking to compete with the likes of RSS, Taliban and what's not. Suddenly, Sharma-ji is in the news and must be secretly loving it in this new syndrome of attention deficiency.

Hey! It's simple, no. He could have clicked selfies in different avatars and upload on his Facebook. Sounds better, na to get some mileage and celebrity moments. Jab tak Sharma-ji rahega rajneeti tab tak entertainment hoga national TV pe. Who needs Arnab when we have the State Minister of Culture, doing a failed lungi act?

His name is Mahesh Sharma, Sharma-ji ki kahani. What a delight and entertainment he is? TV channels, newspapers and of course, Mrs Funny Bones feasting like vultures on this not-so-intelligent statements. Yes! We are jerks. I am a jerk for without Sharma-ji, this post would be sleeping somewhere, in some corner of the mind. How I love this Minister! I am a huge fan from today for being such an inspiration to the youth and the nation. He just inspired to utaro his aarti. I am just loving the man like the Mc Donald that I munch for tickling my funny bones and the joker that I am in an attempt to make people laugh, scare the shit out of haters and those insensible souls to whom this post won't make an iota of difference.

See! I am a nice boy. I am praising our minister and not once I used invective and the F-bomb I normally do in my post. I tell you, Sharma-ji is an inspiration. You still don't trust me!

2015-09-18

The favorite God is here! The man with the midas touch who brings all superstars to their knee. You know why? Because he is the biggest superstar of all, mighty and he is visiting our home for 10 days to charms everyone with his trunk. He's is the darling of the masses and make them dance energetically to his tune. He smiles, sit and watch. Welcome my friend Ganesha, the destroyer of ignorance and spreading knowledge, intelligence as well as wisdom.

You will find him in every pandal in the nook-and-corner of Mumbai, Pune and the pockets of Maharashtra. Hey! Don't freak out for you have 10 days to celebrate his grandeur in zest and style. Ganpati Bappa Morya! It's the Ganesh Utsav. Our super duper star crosses the sea to enter our house in style and we relish Modak to make Ganesh Chaturthi a grand affair, spreading love, together and removing all barriers, be it, caste, creed, sex and race.

Walk on the streets in Mumbai, you will find Ganesha everywhere, sitting majestically on his throne on the pandal decorated with devotion and love. You don't need to walk miles and shedding sweat to find him. He is omnipotent, omniscience and all pervading. Hop at the local station and the pandal is right in front of you. All you need to do is to pay your respect to Ganesha, our friend.

Our friend never shy away to bring the crowd together for the visarjan at Girgaum Chowpatty where a motley crowd come together, carrying him on their shoulders, the day we bid him a farewell. You see him in different avatars in clay, small, miniature and jumbo size, riding high on the shoulders of devotees who sing with zeal and passion, 'Ganpati Bappa Morya, Pudchya Varshi Laukarya.'

The agnostic in me, fell in love, with Ganpati, the day I set foot in 'Amchi Mumbai' witnessing the joy of the 'Bappa' celebrated king size on the streets of Mumbai and Pune. Yes! They danced to his tune on 'Jhakaas' songs from Mach Gaye shor to 'Tera Jalwa' and 'Haar Taraf Hai Yeh Short' in Maximum City. Can Mumbai be complete without Ganesh Utsav'? Just plain unimaginable! The joy of watching the crowd swooning to his tune, be it in the slums or on the streets, where the underdogs and cream of the crop become one. Ganesha unites his people, be it Hindus or Muslims, making space for each other to celebrate love and religion. It's the beauty of India or a dream for our people to rise ahead petty matters and ego.

Hey! Chill! Ganesha has reached our shores to woo us and he is not going so soon. Our friend gonna make mischief, cement hearts and relationships for ten days. He is our most adorable that our celebrities deck in color, bring him home for 10 days and perform his arati. The fun has just started and let's make it a lifetime celebration.

2015-09-15

It's a rant. I choose to bear my heart out at the risk of sounding like someone, looking for sympathy and some desperate attention-seeking action. It took me a long to weigh the pros and cons, of course the consequences of opening up.

Right now, my life is in a mess and fucked-up wouldn't be an understatement. A lull which is persisting in my life and the agnostic in me is praying for some magic to unfurl. I have always believed in help flowing from some unexpected quarters and from strangers. It happened in the past and the optimist in me, believes that there is no reason why it shouldn't happen again. The only thing that's keeping me in fair stead is my optimism. Gosh! How my life has changed. I just hope that circumstances don't make me lose the real self. Losing the mental sanity and dash of positive energy vibe is the last thing on my mind.

Image credit: Google/www.shutterstock.com

Frustration is growing deeper by the day at work. The more you actually pray for things to get better, it's getting worse by the day. Honestly, I dunno what to do in the face of murky things and unhappiness. Tendering my resignation is an option at the back of the mind but the EMI on the laptop and loan bills been holding me. I have sent some 28 application letters, got rejected 'nicely by two, saying my good profile doesn't fit the bill. Not one to lose heart, I will bring it to 50. At least, something should work out. First time in my life, I've been sending application letters to companies like a demented soul who lost it.

A lesson that I have learned: Never go back to the old company, no matter how big the talks about transparency and how things has improved. I am so done dealing with unprofessional people, who doesn't understand the basic of journalism and running an organisation in the most unprofessional manner, giving false hope to its employees. I pity those who still believe in the so-called growth agenda that comes at a sacrifice. One shouldn't expect anything from such people, who think the whole world is imbecile.
On top of that, you choose not to pay your staff for more than 2 to 3 months and when a request for salary is made, you choose to give empty threat that we should be careful not to write letters or else, it will go in our goddamn file. Such unprofessional and unethical attitude get to my head. Just imagine, we are literally begging for our rightly earned dues and we are paid in installment as if it's some fucking EMI.
The flimsy reason you give when we tell that we are in shortage of staff in the team that you prefer in-house people and new additions will destroy the team's unity. How ludicrous can this get! Who with a sound mind will come up with such lame reasoning? Never heard of but only a person like him, who thinks he can fool everyone. On top of that, his weird business strategies in a creative field that needs expansion at some juncture or the other, sucks. And, the wrong people in the right place...I am not surprised why the fuck the marketing department is stagnating.
Yes! I was asked to lead the team after one of my colleagues who was heading has left on account of professional reasons outlined. I cannot lead a team of four, with varying capabilities and the company is unwilling to expand. I refused and someone from another department took over. I am happy and just doing my work in silence. The last thing, I wanna do is to be associated with such an unethical company.
The last rumor I am hearing is that they will cut salary if one reaches office 5 minutes late. Gosh! Are we being schooled or what!! Who does that? Another excuse for cost-cutting, may be. The saddest part is that business people are taking over publishing business where they don't understand one thing or two on what works.
I am doing everything possible to leave this company and look at a place where I can grow as a professional. Hopefully, some good news should flow towards the end of this month. At some point, I felt things were not just happening to me but there has been minor development, courtesy the help of a very kind man with good networking.
I shall leave my rant here. Quite a story that I intend to spell in the second part. Yes! I will unburden myself the moment I resign which will be in a matter of time.
Good Night and wish me luck, folks.

2015-09-07

It's been a year since Kavya ran away from her home and lived in constant fear that they will chase her down the fast lanes, between crazy traffic, speedy vehicles and train in this big city. She has been hiding her face under the veil during her daily journey in the local train on her way to work at the BPO. She was able to make ends meet with the 20k that she earns at loose end.

The fateful day on her way to freedom still runs deep in her breath and whenever she thinks about her great escape from the clutches of her ruthless in-laws from US, her heart beats furiously. Her parents convinced her that Ajay is a good match, settled as a software engineer in US and that she will make her life. Her in-laws demanded a huge dowry and the moment, she stepped foot in her new home, the land made of dreams, she was subjected to harassment and forcing her to go without food till her husband don't reach home. At times, Kavya would go without food till the wee hours in the morning. She was drained and lost the energy to protest against the inhumane treatment and the Karwa Chauth where she was made to fast. Once, her mother-in-law slapped her for taking a shower before her husband and the latter never protested against his mother.

Then, one day, it was too much and she sneaked out of the apartment with her passport and hundreds dollars, helped by the immigration officer to a new city in India. She lived in constant fear, surviving on tea and going to bed on an empty stomach. Turned down by her parents because good girls don't run away like that and the bullshit about the family honor, she lost faith in humanity. Kavya went around a couple of times with business men, rich college students and CEOs as a call girl and was arrested. The sympathetic lady inspector understood her plight after chiding her and got her a a flat, sponsored by the Indian Government and a job at the call center. Her faith in humanity has not been restored yet.

Till one day, Kavya met Vicky Malhotra, a simple guy who was struck by her beauty at the railway station. He waited for her and pursued her like crazy, between making her feel special only to be rejected. He didn't accept defeat since he was enamored by Kavya's beauty, simplicity and fell in love with her. He was unaware that circumstances has turned Kavya into a stone-hearted person and that love has no place in her life. Her eyes told Vicky lots of things and could sense how much pain is being hidden beneath her eyes. He decided to give his Kavya happiness.

One day, she got fed up of him when he convinced her to come along with him at the restaurant. Vicky confessed his love to her, "Kavya, I am in love with you. Your eyes never lies and tells me how life has given you pain and sadness. Everyone deserves a second chance and one shouldn't say no to love. I've dated and slept with several women but they never loved me. I can see the sincerity in you."

Kavya felt uneasy, "You know Vicky, what do you know about me? Before we start being friends, there are certain things that you need to know about me. I was a battered woman and run away from my in-laws. I live in constant fear that they may find me. The cops have arrested me for doubling as a call girl since I needed to feed my stomach."

She thought that the reality would make Vicky run away but to her surprise, the latter said, "Kavya, my love, no one is a saint in this world and those who pretend are the biggest hypocrites. I am an orphan, abandoned by my parents but made things on my own. I was in love with you but now I respect you. It demands lots of gut to tell the truth." He kissed the palm of her hand. "Friends?" he asked. Kavya smiled and hugged him.

Two Years Later

Kavya was dressed in the orange peach sari and dazzled as Vicky was gushing and couldn't keep his eyes and hands off. He ran his finger on her back. Kavya gently slapped him, "Mister! Keep your hands off me."

It wouldn't stop Vicky who caressed her face with his hand, curled his lip on her and she held tight to him in the drawing room. He kissed her passionately and she ran her hand on his chest, biting his ear. "Happy! Enough for now. We will run late," she seductively tells him. "Let's keep it for dinner," she cajoled him.

They drove to the marriage court and in no less than one hour, Kavya and Vicky were legally wedded to each other. During the evening, a room was booked at the Oberoi. Kavya and Vicky made passionate love to each other, chartering zones no one would have imagined. He undressed her, touching her back, kissing her and cupping her breast as she bends and pressed his stomach, before getting into each other.

Kavya and Vicky's soul were united beyond the physical love. Who says that only movies and books have happy ending? They drank their wine to glory, being a constant support to each other and united to each other.

20 years later:

Today, Kavya and Vicky's daughter Shonali is getting engaged to her best friend, Rahul. Kavya is dressed in a green shiffon sari and as she steps out of the BMW at the venue, Vicky holds her hand. "What?", the 50 year-old charming mother exclaims.

Vicky smiles and looks dashing in his grey suit, "You look as beautiful as you were the first time we met and see what's there on your left cheek." She turned to see her face on the car's rear window and asks, "What's there?"

He blushed like a child, "You are beautiful." Kavya gave an infectious smile and helds her husband's hand, "Let's walk in, Baba. Your daughter is getting married and you behaving like a child, infatuated with love."

Kavya and Vicky walk in together, hand-in-hand as the guests look at them in awe, wondering how they've kept love alive for so many years. Shonali couldn't stop admiring her parents and run to hug them in a tight embrace.

2015-08-29

Now, who can say that one day, Sunny Leone will go out of job in times of recession? Sunny and her ilk can re-invent herself when her jawani goes out of toss. No, the Leone Babe doesn't need to go bald for that, even if she does, there are so many things she can do.

Image credit: Radhey Maa on Google

Let me think for a minute! Like playing Radha! Yeps, tube light moment..playing Radhey Maa that Radhey herself has immortalized, doing a double swing like Hema Malini in Seeta aur Geeta and Sridevi in Chalbaaz. A modern version would be Tanu Weds Manu Returns.

Radhey Maa on the reality show and swinging to the tune of Karan Johar on Jhalak Reloaded is a winning proposition to push the show's TRP. One hour full blast of Bhakti dance, Tandav and Radha on the dance floor, likes to party. It will be mother of shows, I tell you. Radhey Maa will tie Rakhi on your wrist, aooo!! From Lolita to Radhey Maa. What a jodi and super hit combo that would the silver screen, Shakti Kapoor and Radhey Maa!
Our new age Maa, gives darshan in the day and dances to her tune, wearing lal lal during the night. Ah! The devotees who hug and carry her like a child, must be reveling in ecstasy witnessing their favorite Maa's new found celebrity status. Twiterrazi must be having a field day like Yusuf Pathan. Kitna pyari Bachi hai, Achiko Bachiku sab se pyari hai Radhey Munni tu.
Blessing doled out all over the place and this Maa is the dowry Maa. Move over Lalita Pawar folks and her atrocity wrecked on-screen Bahus. Just imagining if Radhey Maa had bahus, how would she treat them!Their punishment would be to sit for long hours in Pravachan and sing for her in shopping malls, clapping hands, while she would gyrate to chart busters.
Heard Subhash Ghai take her blessing before releasing his latest movie!! Just wondering what must be her age when Kalicharan, Ram Lakhan and Taal released!! In any case, she must be a Maa in progress and growing up like the software we install on the laptop. Mere do anmol ratan, ek hai ram ek hai lakhan, Radhey Maa must be singing and swooning. Bole toh, ek dum blockbuster Maa hai yeh Radhey.
A Maa as cute as Radhey gives complex to Deepika's dimple and Katrina's lachak, Chikni Chameli ya My name is Radhey, Radhey ki bhakti. Now, I am thinking, how I should change my career and turn into saint, a Baba sitting under the shade of a Peepal tree, reading destiny and running away with loads of rupaiyas. See, Radhey Maa is such an inspiration and I'll become a millionaire chutki me. After all, who wants to watch AB in KBC to become Crorepathi when Radhey Maa is here.
Bol Radha (ey) tune yeh kya kiya.

2015-08-23

Subjects should never trust their Government! Hum Rankh woh Raja, it's the stark reality. I almost jumped with joy to make killing on the market when the porn ban was announced. I was on the verge of writing porn in protest against the ban to make the moolah. They made a U-turn to snatch my Rozi Roti.

Image credit: Google/Reuters

Ab yeh Rosie kaun hai! A birdie tells me her name sake was Mr Bachchan, secretary, in the golden days when PR was an unheard breed snatching the Roti of secretaries and us, journalists, lame attempt to snatch our bread-and-butter. See! My female character in my best-selling porn book would have been Rosie. I'd made a killing on the market, a breather to the sex and porn-starved men and women. I never became the savior for those poor species. The angry young man, re-incarnated by Yours truly, to save the people from the ruthless Thakur. I curse my Kismet. What a destiny I have! The Government has just thrown lathi on my peth. Yeh kya hua! Kaise Hua! Kab Hua! Kyon Hua!

Slap stick comedy going on, I tell you! Tu tu mein mein. Porn the Ban, Ban the Porn and it makes a comeback. Reason why! They tell you they can't control everything. A tale of death defying gravity and Issac Newton would be fuming in paradise. How they badly wanna wake up Newton uncle from his slumber, thinking he is Kumbhakarna!

Hey!! Was our man Kumbhakarna watching porn in his free time? Now, my silly mind is going havoc wondering how he was watching it and where he rented the DVDs, chupke chupke se. After all, it's a matter of aesthetic taste and Sunny Leone must be relieved for not going out of work and considering playing Radhey Maa on-screen. Babe! She has just been saved from going Dharmic when the likes of Malika Sherawat are out of work. Wonder what Giriraj Chauhan has to say about it! Aha! Was the FTII chairman planning to make good cinema by getting inspiring? Porn the Ban. What a market for us to become the biggest producer of Porn!! Censor board would have so much work to do, actively banning porn.

Image credit: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/

We love muzzling voices, isn't it and banning everything that moves. Nopes! Beef on the plate doesn't move, couples having sex..do they get an orgasm of sort barging in rooms or what? Ban the Porn before doing a volte face. Ab kya karenge mein after removing the ban on porn? What shall I write? Hawan Karenge Karenge! I'll start writing books on Dharma, preaching wearing a saffron robe. I tell you, there are lots of money in that. Donning the mantle of a Swami, sprinkling blessing and what I do inside my prayer room is not for you to know! After all, there is no dearth of sexy Kanya as I try a Krishna. Nopes, don't get ideas for I know it's my dirty imagination at play or yours. Remember, Swami Nithyananda.

I better do, Kapal Bharti for peace and Mann ki shanti. Forget about my porn adventure for the dream has broken into small pieces and shattered by the Government. Are Sarkar! Why do you give me false hope and let me dream. I better upload peeps smart phones with soft porn and erotic love in exchange for few 100 bucks. Koi bata de how do I make money now.