Posts Tagged ‘compassion’

“I can’t,” he said, not moving. I held the fork in front of Marvin’s mouth and stopped, hovering. A spasm went down his arm and he knocked his wheelchair’s joystick. The chair shifted and bumped the table. He had been having extra trouble chewing today. I didn’t know what was wrong. I stared in fear.…

Julie interrupts herself mid-thought, rolls her eyes and sighs. “You must be so sick of hearing me complain about the same thing every week.” She keeps her gaze up at the ceiling, afraid to look at me to receive my answer. This question is designed to elicit an, “of course not!” reply from friends, family,…

I teach listening and value empathy. A lot. As Carl Rogers says, “[Empathy] just feels damn good.” (If you need a primer on empathy, here is a video that makes it fun and easy to learn about.) I want every human to experience as much good listening and empathy as possible because it is the…

“The Oakland fire happened basically right in my backyard,” my friend and co-doctorate-student Helena told me as we were waiting for class to begin. “And while it was so horrible,” she dropped her voice to a whisper, “I haven’t really felt anything about it. Maybe I would if I knew the people who were inside.…

These are dark days. The Winter Solstice is still a week away, so the days are literally growing darker. In the Bay Area, much needed rains, the horrific deaths of 36 beautiful souls in the Ghost Ship fire, the impending doom of the imminent president elect, and the ongoing battle for sacred lands at Standing…

When I was a younger adult, I had a scathing inner critic. It caused me all kinds of problems, which I handled in various maladaptive (read self-destructive) ways. That harsh internal voice mostly riddled me with anxiety which was so uncomfortable I looked for different ways to avoid feeling it–like partying, often with people I…

Letting others in is an ongoing process. As a therapist, I offer support for a living—yet taking in care from others is another story. I remember the a-ha moment when I first understood the reciprocal nature of support. Several years ago I attended a powerful community-based grief ritual. At the start of the intimate weekend,…

Dear Mr. Trump: Your comments on Monday morning in response to a veteran’s question about mental health treatment at a Retired American Warriors PAC implied that only veterans who are not “strong” and “can’t handle it” develop post-traumatic stress disorder. Yes, I read the transcript of your entire answer and saw the clip; yes, I…

Chances are you’ve heard about this magical thing called self-love and have been trying to get some. Self-love is supposed to give us all good stuff: the confidence to set boundaries at work, the motivation to find our life’s purpose, the ability to feel fulfilled and happy alone, and the guts to give our Mr.…

The other day I was killing some time at a trendy coffee shop, enjoying my once-a-day caffeine romance, and I found myself inadvertently eavesdropping on two college freshmen bonding over the unexpected difficulties they were encountering in their new phase of life. Navigating a vast pool of possible topics, one of the women ever so…

1. All feelings are allowed. At my child’s preschool, they have a saying: You have to get the bad feelings out to let the good feelings in. In therapy, we know there are no “bad” feelings. However, feelings such as anger, sadness and hurt don’t feel good, and they need expression. To express your true…

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