Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Dear U.S.M.C.

Dear United States Marine Corps:

I know you guys are busy with the war and stuff, protecting my lazy self which I greatly appreciate. But honestly, don't have strangers write letters to us pretending to be our son. I know the recruits are way involved in their training at this point and short on free time but I would rather have no letter at all, than to get a letter from an impostor pretending to be my son.

I mean seriously, here is a blurb from the last letter we received from our "son" ......."I want to apologize for every thing. The way I treated ya'll. I sit back and watch how everybody acts here and some of the stuff my DI says to these kids about the way they act. I see a lot of how I was. Man I can only imagine how hard it was to put up with me. I don't see how you didn't beat my ass! I would like to thank you for all you have done to make me who I am today. That was a lot of work but you never gave up on me. Thanks. It has made boot camp easy for me, not getting into trouble, and with God's help too."

Come on USMC! Don't you think we know an impostor when we see one? The kid we shipped to boot camp on March 10th would NEVER, never, ever have dreamt of saying anything like that to us! What did you do with that eye rolling, sighing, gray hair causing, temperamental teenager we gave you?

I mean sure, the person who wrote that letter sounds like a fine, respectable, mature young man...but where is our son????