Seeing the scan? Change of heart?

Wondering if you're experiencing early signs of pregnancy? From nausea and discharge to that metallic taste, chat about symptoms here. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer support board, Netmums hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Read more on early pregnancy signs here.

Seeing the scan? Change of heart?

Cla27xzt

Guest

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 6.35PM

Hi all,
My posts, to date, have largely been negative. I am still mulling over my decisions at the moment. Just don't know how I will cope with money on my own.
Anyway, my unsupportive partner, with whom I have a turbulent relationship and wants a termination, has said he wants to come to my fove week scsn (to check baby is in right place). Is this a change of heart? Anyone else had a partner say they don't want the baby then change their mind?
Still in such a fragile and bad place.
Claire

Hi all,

My posts, to date, have largely been negative. I am still mulling over my decisions at the moment. Just don't know how I will cope with money on my own.

Anyway, my unsupportive partner, with whom I have a turbulent relationship and wants a termination, has said he wants to come to my fove week scsn (to check baby is in right place). Is this a change of heart? Anyone else had a partner say they don't want the baby then change their mind?

Still in such a fragile and bad place.

Claire

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

(Advertising)

Your browser cannot play this video.

Lorraine H(373)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 6.48PM

Hello been in a similar situation. Me and partner split up then I found out I was 3 weeks pregnant. I booked appointment about abortion as he was just horrible to me after telling him. Went to one scan on my own but it was too early to do anything so had to go back two weeks after. I txd him just saying where I was going to be and time which I didn't think he would pay any attention to, I went on my own and he turns up! Found out I was 6 weeks everything where it should be and there was also a heartbeat. Now after that he wants to be there for me and hopefully get us back on track so we are having the baby and now we both can't believe we were considering abortion. X

Hello been in a similar situation. Me and partner split up then I found out I was 3 weeks pregnant. I booked appointment about abortion as he was just horrible to me after telling him. Went to one scan on my own but it was too early to do anything so had to go back two weeks after. I txd him just saying where I was going to be and time which I didn't think he would pay any attention to, I went on my own and he turns up! Found out I was 6 weeks everything where it should be and there was also a heartbeat. Now after that he wants to be there for me and hopefully get us back on track so we are having the baby and now we both can't believe we were considering abortion. X

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Cla27xzt

Guest

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 7.12PM

Thanks for your reply Lorraine. Really glad things have worked out for you and your partner. Have you been together for a while? I've only been with my partner for nine months, it's been on and off and we split for almost a month before I got pregnant. I just wish he wanted us both wholeheartedly. In all reality, this is far too soon for us both.

Thanks for your reply Lorraine. Really glad things have worked out for you and your partner. Have you been together for a while? I've only been with my partner for nine months, it's been on and off and we split for almost a month before I got pregnant. I just wish he wanted us both wholeheartedly. In all reality, this is far too soon for us both.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Lorraine H(373)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 7.30PM

We do have a 21 month old together but when he found out I was pregnant with him he left me for another woman! I took him back when my son was over 1 but we've been on and off since mainly because of the past. Maybe go to the scan together and see what happens from there? X

We do have a 21 month old together but when he found out I was pregnant with him he left me for another woman! I took him back when my son was over 1 but we've been on and off since mainly because of the past. Maybe go to the scan together and see what happens from there? X

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Cla27xzt

Guest

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 7.33PM

Thanks Lorraine.
I asked my Mum and Dad to go but I did ask my partner out of courtesy as he IS the father. I expected him to refuse but he's said yes. My Mum and Dad are fine with it. my biggest fear is him rejecting the again during the scan or using this as an oppurtunity to further drill into my mind that 'it's just a cluster of cells' so I am scared he is using this as an opportunity to hurt me more.

Thanks Lorraine.

I asked my Mum and Dad to go but I did ask my partner out of courtesy as he IS the father. I expected him to refuse but he's said yes. My Mum and Dad are fine with it. my biggest fear is him rejecting the again during the scan or using this as an oppurtunity to further drill into my mind that 'it's just a cluster of cells' so I am scared he is using this as an opportunity to hurt me more.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Lorraine H(373)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 7.46PM

Well you don't have to have him there if u don't want to. You go with whatever is best for you, this is your decision and nobody else's. It's nice you have the support from your mum and dad. X

Well you don't have to have him there if u don't want to. You go with whatever is best for you, this is your decision and nobody else's. It's nice you have the support from your mum and dad. X

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Abi A(30)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 7.53PM

Hi ladies.
Really feel for you in this situation. Me and my partner wasn't together when I became pregant we was trying to patch things up. Once I found out I was very confused. He wanted to support us. We had had a tough time last year suffering 3 miscarriages. I think that played a large part in the spilt.
After all said and done hun
Your body is your body and it is your choice for you to make. Don't let anyone talk you into making a big choice either to go through with things or not. Go with your hearts choice.
The money side is always a worry. I was a single mum for nearly a year and struggled at times but you always.find away. It's nice you have support in your family
I hope you get through this xx

Hi ladies. Really feel for you in this situation. Me and my partner wasn't together when I became pregant we was trying to patch things up. Once I found out I was very confused. He wanted to support us. We had had a tough time last year suffering 3 miscarriages. I think that played a large part in the spilt.

After all said and done hunYour body is your body and it is your choice for you to make. Don't let anyone talk you into making a big choice either to go through with things or not. Go with your hearts choice. The money side is always a worry. I was a single mum for nearly a year and struggled at times but you always.find away. It's nice you have support in your family I hope you get through this xx

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Cla27xzt

Guest

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 8.11PM

Thanks for your reply Abi.
I fear being a single mum and not being able to provide for my little one. It scares me so much.

Thanks for your reply Abi.

I fear being a single mum and not being able to provide for my little one. It scares me so much.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

sharon p(314)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 8.39PM

After 2 MC's I'm 6 weeks pregnant and praying everything goes well this time. My partner was going to leave me a few weeks ago but decided to stay prior to knowing I was pregnant. I'm not sure if things are right between us nor I am sure if he will eventually go either.
Ive got a 21 year old and spent 8 years as a single mum. We had tough time but it was a life changing experience and one I'll never regret. It shaped me into the person I am today.
I now know that I could do this on my own not that I want that but faced with it I would do it.
I have the most amazing relationship with my son which I really believe was down to the time I brought him up. He has turned out to be the most well balanced and lovely young man.
It's not easy being a single mum but the strength you muster is incredable and belive me when I say your little one will not got without.
There are support networks out there too.
It's your choice and one you should make without feeling pressured. you've got a hard decision ahead of you just make sure you make it with a clear head and that it's right for you.
Good luck and best wishes xx

After 2 MC's I'm 6 weeks pregnant and praying everything goes well this time. My partner was going to leave me a few weeks ago but decided to stay prior to knowing I was pregnant. I'm not sure if things are right between us nor I am sure if he will eventually go either. Ive got a 21 year old and spent 8 years as a single mum. We had tough time but it was a life changing experience and one I'll never regret. It shaped me into the person I am today.I now know that I could do this on my own not that I want that but faced with it I would do it. I have the most amazing relationship with my son which I really believe was down to the time I brought him up. He has turned out to be the most well balanced and lovely young man. It's not easy being a single mum but the strength you muster is incredable and belive me when I say your little one will not got without.There are support networks out there too.It's your choice and one you should make without feeling pressured. you've got a hard decision ahead of you just make sure you make it with a clear head and that it's right for you. Good luck and best wishes xx

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Abi A(30)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 8.40PM

I did the very same. And tbh the same with this pregancy as I jusy didn't want to get back with my partner for the sake of a pregancy. But trust me when you are the one to provide for a child you do so. And yes they are scary times. I have being through the tough times. My oldest son is not partners biological child. I have had times where.my fridge is running low. Or I looked around and felt a bad mum for not being able to afford better things. But on the front my little boy and still to this day tells me all the time he loves me and how much he loves me looking after him. To be honest it's made us so close. And I look back and I am proud I have gotten through the tough times. I wasn't able to work at some points I don't have a mum to help out so I was really on my own but what dosnt kill you trust me makes you stronger.
I totally understand your fear that is so natural it really is.
I mean if you are 100 percent you can't go thou being a lone mum then at least you are doing it for the right. Just make sure you are sure.
Last year I decided I am going to be a stronger I became self employed so I can work around child care and started my driving I did that all being a lone mum.
I hope you your self make the choice for what is best for you hun and not out of fear. Because us women can do brilliant things alone :)

I did the very same. And tbh the same with this pregancy as I jusy didn't want to get back with my partner for the sake of a pregancy. But trust me when you are the one to provide for a child you do so. And yes they are scary times. I have being through the tough times. My oldest son is not partners biological child. I have had times where.my fridge is running low. Or I looked around and felt a bad mum for not being able to afford better things. But on the front my little boy and still to this day tells me all the time he loves me and how much he loves me looking after him. To be honest it's made us so close. And I look back and I am proud I have gotten through the tough times. I wasn't able to work at some points I don't have a mum to help out so I was really on my own but what dosnt kill you trust me makes you stronger.

I totally understand your fear that is so natural it really is. I mean if you are 100 percent you can't go thou being a lone mum then at least you are doing it for the right. Just make sure you are sure.

Last year I decided I am going to be a stronger I became self employed so I can work around child care and started my driving I did that all being a lone mum. I hope you your self make the choice for what is best for you hun and not out of fear. Because us women can do brilliant things alone

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Cla27xzt

Guest

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 8.45PM

Hi Sharon. Thank you for replying. I am with my partner but it's strained and I think he'll leave me anyway before baby is born.
I am so scared of not being a good provider for my child. It is so helpful to hear from people like yourself who've been there and gotten through it. I just want to know it'll all be okay.
Your son sounds lovely and he's clearly been moulded in your image which is so lovely to hear. You've clearly done a great job Sharon x

Hi Sharon. Thank you for replying. I am with my partner but it's strained and I think he'll leave me anyway before baby is born.

I am so scared of not being a good provider for my child. It is so helpful to hear from people like yourself who've been there and gotten through it. I just want to know it'll all be okay.

Your son sounds lovely and he's clearly been moulded in your image which is so lovely to hear. You've clearly done a great job Sharon x

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Cla27xzt

Guest

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 8.51PM

Thanks Abi :)
I've been on the Internet and phone all week. I've been ringing nurseries for prices, looking into what support I can get financially. I have been to the Housing in case I lose my privately owned flat. I've had telephone counselling. I've got face to face emotional support on Friday. I am going to Citizens Advice on Friday too. I am trying so so so hard. I am cancelling direct debits I don't need. I have written down my incoming money. I am cancelling my pension for the next nine months to have that little extra for baby. Will be back on the phone tomorrow seeking advice. I am trying so, so hard and I am only five weeks. I need to cover all bases.
It's worn me down big time!

Thanks Abi

I've been on the Internet and phone all week. I've been ringing nurseries for prices, looking into what support I can get financially. I have been to the Housing in case I lose my privately owned flat. I've had telephone counselling. I've got face to face emotional support on Friday. I am going to Citizens Advice on Friday too. I am trying so so so hard. I am cancelling direct debits I don't need. I have written down my incoming money. I am cancelling my pension for the next nine months to have that little extra for baby. Will be back on the phone tomorrow seeking advice. I am trying so, so hard and I am only five weeks. I need to cover all bases.

It's worn me down big time!

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Abi A(30)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 9.04PM

It sounds very much like you want to go through with baby.
Trust me you will find the way!! You go without certain things being a mummy but the feeling of a healthy happy child is so much more rewarding then having your self something. Sounds like your head is in the right place.
If I was you I would relax a little.
Go in entilted too.com
Put all your details in as though you have just had a baby for being single and in a partnership and that tells you all.
Don't be getting too stressed that won't help.
I'd buy your self some chocolate or your favourite snack and have some relax time :) xx

It sounds very much like you want to go through with baby.

Trust me you will find the way!! You go without certain things being a mummy but the feeling of a healthy happy child is so much more rewarding then having your self something. Sounds like your head is in the right place.

If I was you I would relax a little. Go in entilted too.com Put all your details in as though you have just had a baby for being single and in a partnership and that tells you all. Don't be getting too stressed that won't help. I'd buy your self some chocolate or your favourite snack and have some relax time xx

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Cla27xzt

Guest

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 9.17PM

Thanks Abi. I will look into that.
I do need to relax. I fear my baby is going to be feeling my stress and anxiety. I've been eating loads of fruit and veg but not managed it today which is sad. Wanna make sure I well. I've got a lot of leg work to do but I hope I can do it.
Thank you for all the wonderful responses so far, concern and kind words of advice.

Thanks Abi. I will look into that.

I do need to relax. I fear my baby is going to be feeling my stress and anxiety. I've been eating loads of fruit and veg but not managed it today which is sad. Wanna make sure I well. I've got a lot of leg work to do but I hope I can do it.

Thank you for all the wonderful responses so far, concern and kind words of advice.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Abi A(30)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 9.24PM

No worries. Hope you wake up tomorrow feeling more postive.
If you ever need any advice don't hesitate to ask :) xx

No worries. Hope you wake up tomorrow feeling more postive.

If you ever need any advice don't hesitate to ask xx

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Jade L(171)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 9.30PM

Hi Claire,
I can completely understand how you're feeling right now.
My partner was very off and distant with me when I told him I was pregnant. It caused a lot of arguments and his favourite saying seemed to be &#034;You just take a tablet and go get rid of it, it's that simple. The earlier the better.&#034;
I snapped eventually and told him with that attitude he wasn't the person I thought he was or could be and I would go through it alone.
After a few days of thinking he has had time to reflect and he's completely changed his ways. Wants to attend the midwife appointments and scans etc.
It is possible but I'm sure your gut instinct will tell you whether it's just a genuine bad shock reaction or whether he really doesn't want to step up. Good luck hun xxx

Hi Claire,I can completely understand how you're feeling right now.My partner was very off and distant with me when I told him I was pregnant. It caused a lot of arguments and his favourite saying seemed to be "You just take a tablet and go get rid of it, it's that simple. The earlier the better."I snapped eventually and told him with that attitude he wasn't the person I thought he was or could be and I would go through it alone.After a few days of thinking he has had time to reflect and he's completely changed his ways. Wants to attend the midwife appointments and scans etc.It is possible but I'm sure your gut instinct will tell you whether it's just a genuine bad shock reaction or whether he really doesn't want to step up. Good luck hun xxx

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Jade L(171)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 9.33PM

Im sure with the right support you can make a fantastic mummy to your little one if you decide to go it alone. Honestly, there will be much more help out there for you than you realise if you make the decision to be a super single mummy. Xx

Im sure with the right support you can make a fantastic mummy to your little one if you decide to go it alone. Honestly, there will be much more help out there for you than you realise if you make the decision to be a super single mummy. Xx

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Cla27xzt

Guest

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 9.49PM

Hi Jade,
Thank you for your messages :)
Glad things sorted themselves out with your partner. I hope things are okau for you at the moment.
I hate uncertainty so much.
My partner was asking if I felt he was right for me and questioning whether I wanted to be with him a few days before I found out. I got the feeling then he wanted to finish it with me :(

Hi Jade,

Thank you for your messages

Glad things sorted themselves out with your partner. I hope things are okau for you at the moment.

I hate uncertainty so much.

My partner was asking if I felt he was right for me and questioning whether I wanted to be with him a few days before I found out. I got the feeling then he wanted to finish it with me

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Jade L(171)

Posted on 13-05-2015 at 9.55PM

Aww bless ya chuck. Pregnancy is certainly no time for negativity in your life :-(
Maybe you need to have a long chat with your partner or begin to question what he contributes to your life and potentially your child's. Remember to never settle for anything less than deserve just because the alternative future prospects seem daunting. Xx

Aww bless ya chuck. Pregnancy is certainly no time for negativity in your life Maybe you need to have a long chat with your partner or begin to question what he contributes to your life and potentially your child's. Remember to never settle for anything less than deserve just because the alternative future prospects seem daunting. Xx