More moms spank than you might think

BabyCenter.com released results of its discipline survey earlier this week. Of the more than 1,300 moms surveyed, 81 percent were spanked as kids and 49 percent admitted to hitting their own children. In other words, today’s moms are 39 percent less likely to spank, and BabyCenter is spinning the results as spanking is on the outs.

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Forty-nine percent of moms spank their kids: Is this what you would expect?

The numbers certainly indicate that spanking is less common than it was 20 or 30 years ago, but regardless does the 49 percent number seem high or low to you–as a Bay Area resident living in a progressive-parenting bubble? Keep in mind that most of today’s psychologists recommend other forms of discipline over spanking and recent studies indicate that spanking may negatively affect children.

For perspective, I checked in with some local parents and asked what they thought of the BabyCenter survey results. I realize that we can’t take these numbers too seriously because we don’t have background information on who responded to this survey. We don’t know where these moms live or their socioeconomic status. But we do know that 78 percent of new and expectant moms use BabyCenter, so we can probably assume that we’re talking about a mainstream audience spread across the country.

And so here’s how some local parents responded when asked the question: Are you surprised that 49 percent of all moms spank their kids?

“Jeez, that’s much higher than I’d think,” says Caroline, a San Francisco parent. “Being spanked by my parents never improved my behavior in the slightest, and in my children’s generation, I’ve never seen any indication that the kids whose parents I knew spanked them were any better behaved than the kids (like mine) who weren’t spanked. So why resort to a crude and uncivilized discipline strategy if it doesn’t work anyway?”

“Yes, the number surprises me a great deal,” writes S.F. mom Elizabeth. “I would have guessed much lower. I was going to say 10 percent but then remembered that there are probably socioeconomic and education level differences, but I still wouldn’t have expected it to be more than 25 to 35 percent.

“I have never spanked my 18-month-old son and my intention is never to do so,” Elizabeth adds. “But when he bit me recently (and drew a little blood), I found myself coming very close to spanking him. It was standard practice when I was growing up in the 60s, and I definitely spanked some kids I babysat for in the 70s, so I think that old instinct was what almost caused me to spank my son.”

“It’s higher than I expected and I wonder sometimes if I live in a bubble of ideals,” S.F. parent Kris shared. “I’d be curious if there was a concentration of areas in the country where people still spank…i.e., not so many in liberal areas such as S.F. and more likely in middle America. We don’t spank as a form of discipline or punishment, but it certainly crosses my mind!”

Only one parent who responded to my query wasn’t surprised by the numbers. “The number is about what I would guess,” says Katherine, a San Francisco parent. “I think that more parents would like to NOT spank, and I think that in moments of frustration, anger or fear many go to how they were disciplined. What they ‘plan’ to do goes out

the window and they just respond with what they know.

“We do not spank,” Katherine adds. “Our goal is to be respectful of our child, and the moments that I have found myself at wits end I have been able to step away and take a look at how I am feeling (annoyed, frustrated, angry, fearful). Our child is only 18 mos old, so I imagine it will only get harder. Introducing discipline into our relationship has been slow going–both parents and child still have a lot to learn.”

Be sure to check out the full BabyCenter survey which reveals that 56 percent of those who do spank never spank in anger or frustration, 54 percent explain to their children why they’re being spanked, 34 percent only spank when their children do something dangerous, 34 percent believe they shouldn’t leave a mark, and 15 percent only spank a padded/diapered bum.

What do think? Are you surprised that 49 percent of moms admitted to spanking their kids or is this what you would expect?