Gold Dust Women

The episode we have ALL been waiting for came and went last night and I have to say I was a little bit disappointed–but only a little. Stevie Nicks finally made her appearance on last night’s returning episode titled ‘The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks’. I hyped the crap out of this episode only to be a bit letdown with the use of Ms. Nicks. But, luckily, the creepy Papa Legba dude (more on him later) made up for it because that entire story line was Bat. Shit. Crazy. Not only that, he just so happened to be played by Lance Reddick (Fringe fans will remember him as Broyles). I had NO idea that was even him under all the cloaks and make-up until doing a bit of research after the show aired! Just awesome and dark as fuck– exactly how I like my AHS!

At the very least, it was still pretty cool to have Stevie Nicks, live and in the flesh, join up with the women at the Coven. I guess I just half-expected the writers to write her into an actual story and use her in a more important (and bat shit crazy) way, but clearly this didn’t happen. All she really did was make a quick cameo and play the piano! Don’t get me wrong, Stevie kicks so much ass and watching her perform on this show is satisfying, but we all expect more from this show and in this particular case, she was clearly misused :( That said, I don’t think it’s the last we have seen of Stevie and besides, it kinda illustrates the fact that the Witches taking up residence in New Orleans are not the only ones out there in the world. Did I also mention that a war is brewing…

And now my review…

Coffee with the Queen

Our episode begins right where we left off before the Christmas break with a lunch date between team captains Marie Laveau and Fiona Goode. Oddly enough, the 55-year old Angela Bassett (yup, she’s 55 years young, this woman is amazing!) completely owned this episode and stole the show right out from under Stevie Nicks.

Laveau’s opening speech tells us a lot about her past and when this woman talks, I listen! Laveau reveals that she is over 300 years old and doesn’t “waste tears for the dead”… but Fiona’s kindness has opened up her eyes and they form an alliance of sorts. Apparently, Laveau and Fiona are equals on opposite teams and finding each other was a blessing in disguise. I’m a little suspicious of this alliance for now–but I have to admit, I kinda like having the Voodoo Queen and Fiona team up and become Besties!

And they have a common enemy, that being the Witch Hunters and Delphi Trust! But before they draw the battle lines, Laveau gets a little visit from Papa Shango:

Oops, wrong Papa Voodoo dude, LOL! But seriously, did anyone else think of WWE’s Papa Shango? Having grown up in the ’90’s, I was a bit of a wrestling fan and I have vivid memories of this guy! But in all seriousness, Laveau actually gets a visit from Papa Legba who is basically one creepy ass dude:

He decides to send Laveau on some errands. And by errands I mean steal a baby. Wait, what?!? Apparently, Laveau got herself into some gambling debt with the Boogeyman a while back and she has to “pay his price” every year. What. The. Fuck!?! This show cannot get any more crazy!!! Luckily, they did fill us in on this little back story, more on that later ;)

So Laveau heads off to the hospital in the middle of the night to do some baby snatching, takes a freshly born baby and heads off on her way until she is stopped by a couple of mall cops. Now, the next sequence of events will probably give people nightmares for eternity because Laveau decides to do some really fucked up Voodoo shit and the image below has now been burned into my retina’s:

Nightmares, folks. This is the stuff nightmares are made of, lol! So after doing her little tongue spell, the two mall cops shoot each other and Laveau heads off. But not before literally telling her new found baby to shut up!!! :O

Laveau doesn’t take too kindly to little crying babies apparently! The next day, Laveau tells Delia and Fiona all about her plan to infiltrate the Coven using Hank the Witch Hunter. This instantly sets off Fiona but she goes after her own daughter for not realizing who Hank was in the first place. I get the feeling this mother-daughter relationship has taken a turn for the worst and if anyone is going to stop Fiona, its got to be Delia!

Star Power and Happy Hour

Before all hell breaks loose, we have to make room for Ms. Stevie Nicks who finally made her appearance last night! While the music was absolutely amazing, there really wasn’t much of a story around her. She’s a White Witch who happens to be friends with Fiona. To be honest, it looked like most of the cast was star struck by Ms. Nicks putting on her piano solo and I can’t really say I blame them. It’s STEVIE FREAKING NICKS!!!! But like I said, she didn’t add anything to the overall story besides giving Misty her shawl. Overall, it was fun but not as fun as AHS: Asylum’s Name Game (LANA BANANA, anyone?!!!)

And what about the Funeral scene…I have to admit I was visually blown away by the detail and the way it was filmed. Also, LOVED the shout out to the New Orleans Saints with the logo in the background, especially with the NFL Divisional Playoffs on the way this weekend (GO PATRIOTS)! And of course Misty and Madison are trailing behind, didn’t need a caption for this one, it was just too awesome:

I think you ladies might be a little under dressed for the occasion, especially you Misty cus apparently it’s about to be your own funeral. The girls have a chat about Stevie and Maddy tries to convince Misty that it’s all bullshit, but really Maddy is a huge bitch who wanted to do this:

Yup, she knocks Misty out and robs her grave, shawl and all! And Misty gets buried alive but I get the feeling this is not the last we will see of her. In fact, my prediction is that they’re going to need her powers of resurgence in the upcoming fight against the Witch Hunters. I just don’t get how like 5 Witches are going to take down an entire organization of Witch Hunters! Ain’t happenin’ without Misty Day!

Corporate Undertakings

Meanwhile, after Laveau tells the Coven about Hank, they do a little research Dexter style (which is just another way of saying ‘on a laptop’) and make some discoveries about Delphi Trust. Then shit gets really awesome because Fiona and Laveau decide that they’re going to take down the entire company using some pretty cool looking Witchery!!! Take those corporate fuckers down girls!!!! Delia tries to help out too but Mama Witch is having none of it:

Yikes, she looks pissed. So they continue their spell without Delia, and it’s basically a rat in a maze just running around, bumpin’ into walls… just like the real Corporate North America! They couldn’t have used a better spell IMO!!!

In a nutshell, this spell essentially destroyed Delphi Trust and we catch a glimpse of FBI agents raiding the Delphi Trust offices in Atlanta. Probably shouldn’t have committed all that corporate fraud, ya dumb greedy Witch Hunters! This should be a lesson to the rest of you greedy bastards… commit corporate crimes and you’re gonna have a bad time! :P

Meanwhile, back in Atlanta, Delphi loses 50% of their value in TEN minutes, LOL! Hank’s daddy knows exactly what is going on and decides that it’s time to go to war with the Coven! Ahhhh shit, looks like a war is a brewing after all! This is really not going to end well for Delphi Trust, but we shall see where they go with this in the final 3 episodes, once all that Supreme nonsense is sorted out! Oh and the next episode is titled ‘Protect the Coven‘. Hmmmm…..

Another One Bites The Dust

Back at Witch Manor, the girls briefly mention Queenie near the beginning of the episode but whether she is dead or not still remains a mystery. Before Madison’s misadventures in the cemetery though, she gets in an argument with Nan about who’s the Supreme, with epic results. First, Madison refers to Nan as “Mumbles the Clown”–where she comes up with this stuff is beyond me! It’s hilarious though, I say keep it up.

And Nan, with the best possible comeback ever, uses her powers to make Madison put out her cigarette and…

…ALMOST SHOVE IT UP HER VAGINA!?! Jesus Christ! Regardless, this is probably the way teenage girls would act if they had magical powers. It is also revealed that Madison’s heart murmur is gone ever since she was revived by Misty and it looks as though we’re about to get some kind of battle for the Supremacy with Nan, Madison, Misty and Fiona all in the running so far.

Nan heads over to Joan Ramsay’s to find out exactly what happened to Luke. Of course, Joan is a dumb lying bitch and Nan easily gets to the bottom of it cus she’s a clairvoyant and that’s what they do! Nan FLIPS out on Joan and this happens:

Bleach, my favorite drink in the whole wide world! Wait, what!?!?! Anyways, Joan is obviously FUCKED after chuggin’ that stuff! And dead. She will not be the last to die either.

Papa Shango

Easily the best part of the episode, we finally get to learn about Marie Laveau’s back story… and it is fucked. As per usual, this show got it right by showing us more details about Laveau’s past and also introducing that creepy Papa Legba dude, which is also based on real Haitian mythology. I’d recommend checking out some of the history behind this guy because it’s pretty f’d up!!! Thank you Wikipedia (check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papa_Legba)

Of course though, A LOT is revealed in a convo between Laveau and Fiona. Basically, Laveau is immortal because of a deal she made with Papa Legba and, by giving LaLaurie a vial of her own tears, LaLaurie became immortal just like Laveau. BAM!

The whole Papa Legba story is super fucked. Basically, Laveau was a young, arrogant Voodoo Witch and, exactly like Fiona, she wanted to stay young forever.

So some 300 years ago, she had a baby and as we all know from the earlier ‘telling a baby to shut up’ incident, Laveau is clearly not ready for the whole parenting thing. So she ends up wishing for immortality and Papa Legba makes it happen but at a costly price and he ends up taking her baby, an innocent soul, a year later. Crazy f’ing shit!

And even crazier is that he comes back every year asking for more babies! This guy is fucked! He is also apparently summoned by leaving cocaine by the bedside. This is no tooth fairy, that is for sure. A coke-addicted Voodoo demon who always loves trading immortality for babies. WTF buddy!

Fiona, having a massive supply of coke on hand apparently, decides to summon Mr. Papa Shango but as it turns out Fiona is a psycho and HAS NO SOUL!!!!

And just like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld, Papa Legba rejects Fiona and sends her on her way! Classic twist that I didn’t see coming, and also hilarious! But, then she decides that her only way to immortality is to kill the Supreme. Fiona has GOT TO KILL ‘EM ALL (for all you Pokemon lovers out there, hehe).

Nan ends up finding Laveau’s stolen baby stash in the closet which ultimately leads to Fiona and Laveau doing this to Nan:

Fiona and Laveau kill Nan and convince Papa Shango to take her soul instead of the baby’s although he’s not impressed due to Nan murdering Joan about 2 hours ago (and is not innocent). Luckily they convince him though and Nan is on her way… to hell?

I guess Fiona gets rid of another Witch at the end of the day but what I don’t understand is why they would even bother considering this Papa Legba guy is coming back in a year for another baby according to his deal with Laveau! Hopefully this is not the last we have seen of him… or Stevie!

Episode Score: 8.5. STEVIE. FREAKING. NICKS. DONE! Also, Papa Legba was pretty cool and Myrtle Snow playing that weird ass instrument made my day (totally made me think of Philip J. Fry playing the Holophonor! LOVE)! Lastly, anyone else wondering where LaLaurie’s head went or is she still chillin’ at the salon? Points lost for not writing Stevie into the story :(

As per the usual routine, check out the preview of next week’s episode titled ‘Protect the Coven‘. Only three episodes left til depression sinks in due to no AHS for 10 months. Enjoy!