Dad Blog! Just a man and his baby. A funny and touching look at a stay at home dad and his (baby) daughter.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Baby bath time

Bath time is a sacred time for parents and their babies. Bonding time. It's about bonding. And hygiene. Sure one of you splashes around uncontrollably, 'tearless' soap in eyes while battling the constant water-boarding like an uncooperative Rumsfeld prisoner, but once you step back and take the upper hand over your child there's a real bonding that occurs.

There's a cuteness about a sopping wet and sparkly clean baby splashing around in their own filth diluted with three gallons of water that is simply precious. The wonder of water, wild hair and the giggle of glee with each splish-splash. Pictures must be taken from non-revealing angles, unless the photographer is a grandparent and then it's full on Paparazzi. Some of the greatest memories and incredible black mail photos that can be used and reused for decades are from bath time. Most importantly, that incapacitatingly wretched poo stench has been replaced with the most wonderful new baby smell... at least until you fasten that last button on the PJs and then all bets are off.

Our baby has a war chest of play toys for the bath. They are a variety of plastic sea creatures and cups that shoot and spray water. There are rubber duckies, animated fish, little red crabs with googly eyes, silly octopus and purple penguins. They're great. I play with them when the opportunity arises, without going out of my way of course. Last night I also discovered that some of them are the most revolting toys in the history of bath toys.

For years parents and children have been warned about the toxicity of lead. How Chinese (mostly) toys must be bought with caution for fear that terrible chemicals and toxins were used in the creation of said toys and/or the toys have been painted with lead or cyanide, or the Ebola virus. I personally don't know anyone who became sick from these terror toys, was hospitalised or even grew a second head but I was very informed of the dangers. I am certain these horror toys exist but I can't imagine finding them at the local Jersey Baby's R Us, and I refused to Google it.

The bath toys we brought into the giant blow up princess tub for our daughter were all made especially for children and crafted to the highest standards for safety and educational merit (whatever that means). Some of these toys allow for kids and their parents to fill up the insides with water and squirt them out like a spitting fish or crab, ect. They're cute, amusing and lots of fun. They also apparently fill with black mold and squirt a nasty mix of water and mold flakes that ironically resemble bits of sea weed. This alone is disturbing, but discovering this as your baby sprays her water toy in her face is extra special.

THE HORROR!!!

Manni didn't care.

Mommy was simultaneously bewildered and furious.

Daddy may have retched... and then realized that there was only one way to remedy the situation.

Tonight would have to be Ice Cream Time!

Manni's favorite squirting toys are now taking a bath themselves... A bleach bath.