PETALING JAYA: Today the Human Resource Ministry announced all 18-year-old men and women will be conscripted to serve six months mandatory hawker stall service. This compulsory cooking duty is to overcome the inevitable disruption from the departure of all foreign cooks who will be banned effective from 1st January 2019

“Our local arthritic hawker food chefs aren’t getting any younger,” said Culinary Flavours Foreign Defence Enthusiast, Abdullah Bin Bakar, “and their children prefer office jobs, or travel abroad to work and study. When our last char kueh teow auntie hangs up her cooking goggles, and our cendol uncle stops grinding ice, and the Bangladeshi chefs depart, who will carry on after?”

“We need our brightest young Malaysians to take up their senduk and kuali, and MASAK for the good of the nation, nobody can prepare nasi lemak, curry mee, assam laksa, cendol and rojak like Malaysians can!”

“While the new government will continue to adopt a meritocratic system in this case, a race-based policy really is the only solution!”