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I’ve seen it too many times. A guy who likes dating Latinas will meet a girl who has skin the color of cinnamon and big, almond-shaped eyes, with a name like Xochimilco or Lupita, and he’ll be thrilled that he is dating a Latina. And yet. Many Latinas speak weak, virtually non-existent Spanish. They know nothing about their culture, whether it’s the music, the history, the literature, the art, the culture, the customs, the politics. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, I suppose, although I think people should know about their heritage and be proud of it.

But what irks me is that men prefer to date these surface-only Latinas rather than date someone who doesn’t have the name, or the morena, Maria Felix look, but who otherwise feels more Latina through and through than these other girls. Yes, I am not speaking in generalities but rather am speaking about my own experience. I am aware of friends who have set up their male friends who want to meet a single Latina with girls who have dark skin but who don’t speak Spanish. So they look the part, and men who only want someone who fits the bill physically get a “Latina”. Now, no one ever tells me, “Hey, I know a guy who wants to meet a girl who speaks Spanish, has lived in Mexico and knows Mexico and Mexican culture- so I want to introduce you to him”. I may not meet the superficial criteria that many Latina-philes look for, and sometimes this frustrates me. Then I remind myself that I am really looking for someone who can go beyond the surface to get to know the real me, beyond my white bread name and white skin.