Esteemed sir, my name is Boko Haram, son of the late King Haram of Nigeria.

When he died, my father left me 274 schoolgirls which are rightfully mine, but which I am unable to get out of the country because of the strict laws of Nigeria.

I am writing to your most highly esteemed self, dear sir, because your name as been given to me as a most trustworthy individual fellow with whom I can share the benefits of great good fortune following the sad and untimely death of my late father, the King.

If you would be so very kind and gentlemanly enough to claim the girls as your property, I can ship them to your brothel where you can keep them for me until my mother and I are able to leave our beloved country. Naturally, I will expect to give you 15% of the girls for your trouble and expenses.

Please contact me on Twitter at "#Please take our girls" and I will be most delightfully pleased to arrange passage for them to your country/state/province. If there is some peculiar reason why you cannot help with this esteemed and noble project, please pass on this email to someone who can.

Your obedient servant, Boko the Brave, defender of the faith, killer of infidels.