Latest Episode

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket! They talk about spiders, fortune cookies stashes, naming children, coffee intake, toothbrushes and MORE! Plus we hear from Kevin of Episode 376: Nein Tense of the Law! Show notes

I am a huge huge fan with nothing but the utmost respect and adoration for all involved. That said, this episode is the first time I've ever felt frustrated with the Judge. I hope I'm just imagining this, but it seemed like his honor got a bit too "loose" and possibly alienated his bailiff. When he was speaking about himself being able to spot monsters because he was a monster, Jesse seemed to be a bit put off by the tone and length of Sir Hodgman's proclamations. Then later, the Judge's open criticism of Jesse's turn at judgmanship seemed to possibly hurt the man's feelings. Even at the very end, Jesse seemed eager to close the episode, and John's response seemed befuddled and a bit incredulous.

Please someone explain to me why I am wrong and that there were no tensions. Please!

For the record, I still very much enjoyed this episode, as I do all, and that "clearing the docket" episodes are my favorite.

Into poetry I'll take the biggest of dives
Now that you've asked for letters about changing lives
From they who have lives that your podcast has changed...
Yes, improved! Oh, renewed!
So deftly rearranged!
Well, your Honor, you said it.
Indeed it is so.
Your voice (and your bailiff's)
Leave me all aglow.
My guffaws from the bedroom
Scare my fiancée, yes -
But he knows with no other
Fake judge will I mess.
Although I submitted a case to your show,
your lack of response did not fill me with woe,
For I live in a world where JUDGE HODGMAN'S a "thing,"
And for that, sir, your praises
are all I can sing.
Your books? I've all three!
In two formats apiece!
Played your podcast for Zooey,
my four year old niece!
My nearest and dearest
now call you the Hodge,
For they know in my heart
that your great works are lodged.
I won't ramble on...
Yes, I'll shut my pie hole.
But I do most wholeheartedly
Hope that you know
You're sure changing MY life!
One podcast at a time!
Which is what compels me
So strongly to rhyme.

I have lived in Portland for ten years I have never stood in line at a bar-- just around it like how a bar is shaped. I have made eye contact and joked with other people while waiting in a bar shaped line.

I was going to guess Seattle, the city where I live, but am not from, as the city where people line up at bars. Even though I have never actually seen a line at a bar, but there are lines everywhere here! Often places where no one in other parts of the country line up. There are also tons of rules of conduct. It took me two hours to read about what to do with my garbage, however in most situations there are no handbooks or explanations, it is just assumed that you know. And eye rolls are a-plenty if a rule is broken. I think the Judge nailed it with his assessment that conflict avoidance is major part of this. Even the bus drivers have prerecorded messages that they can play in various situations, rather than talk to people directly. I'm all for composting and making things easier for working people, but the conflict avoidance and self congratulatory airs of rule followers is hard to handle.

There is at least one bar in Virginia (not far from the Birchmere, where Hodgman has been known to appear if you say "Jkh Jkh Jkh" three times and book him through his agent) that I know of where standing in line is standard. It is called Galaxy Hut, and it is one of the few bars that has a silo you can drink in.

It should be noted, however, that the line is less due to a shared culture of courtesy amongst the patrons and more to do with a huge, light-up arrow instructing you to do so.

While I usually have nothing but the utmost respect for your faux-legal prowess, I can't avoid expressing my disappointment at the very poorly informed remarks you recently made on the Bigfoot II podcast when discussing the white & gold vs. black & blue dress controversy. While you suggested that those who saw the dress as blue and black were in the wrong, in fact all hard evidence proves exactly the contrary. Indeed, not only has it been proven by the wearer that the original dress in question was black and blue, but the science of color perception tells us that those who saw it as white and black were suffering from a kind of drug-free visual hallucination wherein the context in which a color is perceived can cause some people to see it incorrectly.

Given these indisputable facts I ask that you correct your erroneous statements regarding this chromatic controversy, or that you recuse yourself from all future cases pertaining to disputes over color.