Somewhere on the outskirts of reason... Or where good television can be found.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Rob Zombie ' American Made Music To Strip By'

Once again, I’ve been too busy to update “Too Dangerous For Daylight”. The Promotions Department has been slammed lately. Who know that getting grappling mats and 150 pounds of cole slaw would be such a headache?

Yeah… 150 pounds of cole slaw that we made by hand out behind the radio station. Russ at Food Lion hooked us up with cabbage inventory that he really didn’t want to let go of… It’s amazing what a Rock 92 trucker hat can accomplish. And it’s amazing that cabbage would be such a mover at a grocery store.

I spent all week trying to secure some grappling mats for the “Slaw Slam 2008” at Hugo’s. Finally, we found someone at Kiser Middle School that was willing to let us borrow them so no one would crack open their skull.

The deal… Goat Boy from the Two Guys Named Chris Show wrestled ladies for front row seats to the upcoming WWE Smackdown / ECW event at the Greensboro Coliseum. The one that pinned him the fastest would win the front row seats.

The competition was fierce and furious. And Goat Boy came out a loser 3 out of 4 times. Here it is for your viewing (ahem) pleasure:

I’ve been “cocooning” up with several things during my busy time. When I work so much… All I want to do when I’m away from work is laze around watching television. Some people drink too much. Some eat too much. My comfort is the glowing screen of a television. Turning off my cell phone and watching DVD’s helps me unwind. Although I’m not opposed to drinking too much.

I should have been drunk to enjoy Inland Empire by David Lynch. That was one weird… Correct that… BEYOND weird flick!

I’ve always liked most of what Lynch has done… Twin Peaks (the television series), Mulholland Drive, Lost Highway, Blue Velvet (one of my faves), and Wild At Heart. But Inland Empire was something that caused me great pain to watch. GREAT pain! I don’t get it. I don’t understand it and I’m guessing that peyote could help me out in that department.

I’m SO glad that I didn’t waste my money by going to see it at the Carolina Theatre in downtown Greensboro. It ran there for only one night and that’s probably a blessing for many residents of Greensboro along with the handful of Lynch fans in our town.

It started off okay… A hooker is in a hotel room crying after turning a trick. She stares at a television screen that’s filled with incomprehensible snow. Through the snow, she sees a stage set of an apartment. There’s a person dressed as a rabbit sitting on the couch and another in the corner ironing her rabbit clothing. The door opens and a rabbit wearing a suit comes in and is serenaded by the applause of the overly appreciative audience. You would have thought that Jimmy “J.J.” Walker just walked into the apartment on Good Times. Crazy.

The suited rabbit took a seat on the couch while the ironing rabbit kept up with her business (she was in a housecoat). There was silence. Then the female rabbit on the couch directed a rather mundane question to the suited rabbit. He answered and I said to myself, “WTF?!”

This seen must have played on for at least 5 minutes… Too many minutes for weird and bizarre. Nothing but three rabbits talking to each other with painful pauses between the lines. Crazy.

Then the scene with Grace Zabrinskie and Laura Dern having tea went sailing way over my head like the International Space Station. Baby, that crap was far out and that’s when I bailed out on the film.

I fast forwarded a bit and found this little gem of weirdness:

Do you get it?

I sure as hell don’t.

--That does it for me kiddies… I need to find out if my mother is actually having a heart attack.

I got a call from my sister Tina today and was told that Mom was having some trouble at work. She called the doctor and they said that she was having heart attack like symptoms. So… She drove home to have my father drive her to the hospital.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? One of your top 10 organs decides that it’s Miller Time and wants to clock out… Feel free to take your time getting to a health care facility.