He probably heard this old, but funny joke and took it to heart. (DRTFA, made me mad just reading the headline.. trying for humor...)

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

In this guy's defense, we don't actually know whether or not his baby is a lizard-human hybrid; if the child is, then this is a very effective way of making the baby more docile and easier to handle. Let's reserve judgement until we gather all of the facts.

Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.

A lot of ideas probably sounded unfeasible when they were first proposed. The horseless carriage, the moving picture, the printing press were probably all terrifying and new to the people of the day when they were invented, and yet were instrumental in founding our civilization. I, for one, suggest we take a good long hard look at this satellite-based gonad-frying beam idea.

This guy's read his mythology. He knows that if you leave the child outside to die of exposure some meddling shepherd, woodcutter, lady gathering reeds or even wolves or vultures will save the kid. That never ends well.

Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.

They bring it upon themselves for crying like that. I swear, I think humans have the noisiest babies. I have no idea how natural selection didn't breed that out of us..... you'd think the pissing and moaning they do would bring every predator within a five mile radius to mommy and daddy's campsite.

Gordon Bennett:It's a bit difficult to describe in text. It's a very buzzy, nasal sound made by pushing your voice through the area around your nose. If you do it right you can feel he area vibrating, which is a bit uncomfortable.

If you make a very nasal, whiny EHHHHHHHH sound you'll probably be in the right direction.

tjfly:Would like to point out how rampant libtards use this site and the correlation to the first 49 of 50 posts being shiatheaded soulless attempts at humor. I am guessing you people find levity in late term abortions. You "people" finally make sense to me now.

Teach the controversy! There are many ways to get a baby to stop crying all of which deserve consideration. Sure, I might not have the most remote of ideas about parenting but my opinion must be as good as any other.