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We’ve all been faced with an annoying coworker—the one who talks loudly every time you’re on the phone, or the one who never completes his task and makes the entire team look bad in front of the boss. Often our initial reaction is to go to HR and complain. But that might not be the appropriate response.

Jill Santopietro Panall, owner and chief consultant at 21Oak HR Consulting, LLC in Boston, hears this complaint from employees all the time: So and so is bothering me and I want them to be fired. “They come in assuming that everything will happen to the other person,” she says. “But sometimes the person who is complaining is just as much at fault.”

Before you take your complaint to HR, ask yourself these four questions.Photo courtesy of Kaboompics/Karolina

There has always been a bit of a disconnect with employees thinking HR is there to be their ally, says Dorene Crimi Lerner, an HR consultant for Paychex. “But if you ask any HR professional, their role is to protect the company,” she says.

It’s not possible or appropriate for HR to take sides in an employee conflict, says Nancy Halpern, principal at KNH Associates. That’s why some companies retain an in-house ombudsman or employee relations representative. “The messy things can go to them and they can advocate on behalf of the employee,” Halpern says. “That’s not a function of HR.”

But that doesn’t mean HR can’t or won’t help. There is a difference between expecting HR to fix a dispute versus HR helping to mediate and giving both employees the skills to work out any conflicts, Panall says. Having employees figure out what they both want out of a difficult situation leads to better results than HR telling them what they have to do, she says.

And keep in mind that HR wants to know about actions that can affects the company, such as harassment, discrimination or if an employee is embezzling company money, Panall says.

Not sure whether to take your complaint to HR? Panall suggests asking these questions to decide:

Is this severely affecting your work to the point where you don’t want to come into the office? Are you crying at your desk? Is this preventing you from getting your work done? If the answer is yes, go to HR, Panall says.

Are you a struggling to get along with a coworker or are you having a difficult time meshing with a team and finding your niche? Panall recommends taking that concern to your manager.

Did someone make a comment that you didn’t like? Are you annoyed by a coworker who is a noisy eater, loud talker or constant throat-clearer? Panall recommends trying to handle it on your own by explaining to your coworker that their behavior is distracting to you and politely asking them to be more considerate. Or, if you didn’t like what they said, tell them their comment made you uncomfortable. Try to fix it three times, Panall says, and if that doesn’t work, go to HR.

If someone touches you, threatens you or exhibits any dangerous or harassing behaviors, go to HR immediately, Panall says.

If you do ask HR for help, be straightforward and tell your HR manager, “I have an issue. Can I come talk with you?” Panall recommends.

I’m freelancer writer who has been published in Fast Company, The Week, Quartz, and others. I’m a former newspaper reporter with a B.A. from St. Bonaventure University in Olean, N.Y. I’m also a certified Project Management Professional. From 2010 to 2014, I worked as a proje...