Not that they are anything too outrageous, either, but ... some things are best left alone.

I'm noticing that I am getting myself into a very strange place. I really haven't felt like this (attractive, desired, wanton) since I was in college and while it is an amazing ego boost, it is also a bit unnerving as I really thought I had left all that behind me.

Trying to enjoy the ride, but I have that feeling in my gut that the engineers never built the end of the tracks and there is a really big cliff coming up.....

I think my resolution for the new year is to go back to being single and celibate.

This dating thing sucks.

For those that want to follow along....

"Rose" is gone. She was apparently husband hunting and since I'm not looking for that she bolted."Girl B" wants to get back together on a semi-regular but completely casual with no emotion type thing which seems to be going a bit too far in the other direction from what I'm looking for as well.

Something nice and slow to start, maybe it will build, maybe it won't. But either way it should follow its own path and not be direct toward a goal before it starts.

Thought we were having a good time, nice intelligent conversation, similar senses of humor...

Got to the end of the night and went to make plans for a second date and she stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me as if I were green skinned alien and she said to me, "I'm sorry, this just isn't worth my effort"

Ouch.

Although I do appreciate her honesty and desire to not waste eachother's time, but ....

That's... wow... I don't any women who are that brutal... honest yes... to the point yes... but... wow... What did you say during that date? I'm sorry to hear that... that wasn't cool of her; honest or not you can still be... nice about it.

No man is an island. Be true to yourself, but you dont have to show everything all at once, women like mystery too. Just go with the basics. I met my wife at a party I didnt want to go to, met her and BAZINGA, it was a great conversation and I was hooked. Put yourself out there where your friends go. My wife loves scifi and classic movies, loves to eat, and isnt afraid to be herself. Enjoy your free time, find a single parents thing or better yet folks that share your same interests. A gym is okay, but I find you meet people when you have to go thru something together like a bootcamp class. Not that you are trying to hook up, you go in search of making a friend or two and enjoying the experience. Things have a way of working up, but you have to set up the potential for it happen or work out. Dont sit on the bench. Let them know you would like to enjoy some company and a good conversation. It takes time in this aseptic society to find people to come out of thier shells and want to meet and talk to someone. Even taking a coarse at a nearby college might be good or a cooking class. Show them that you are a guy first, plenty of time to let them know the rest of the story. I usually asked someone out for coffee, its cheap and if she cant hold a conversation, no harm done. I know its tough, but better to have friends than no one at all.

ps i was married once and it took me quite awhile to figure out to just get my ass out of the house and back into the land of the living. I empathize with you, its your ex"s loss, dont be down on yourself, you are a great guy.

laterTristan (ps had a hard time logging in, just got a new name, same old me tho later bro)

I'm really sick of being a "great guy".I'm sick of being supportive and caring and "such a great person that someone will be very lucky to be with you".I'm sick of being told that I'm a good father. A Hard Worker. Really dedicated. Funny. Attractive. Smart. .....and yet I'm still not actually connecting with anyone.If everyone sees those things in me, what am I doing wrong that they aren't willing to take the step?Just once I want someone to look at me and say, "damn, I really want to be with you"...I know I'm worth the effort. I know I have a lot to offer.And yet, right now, at this moment, I just don't feel it ... ya know?

Trust me-- I know exactly how you feel--- and hearing those kind of comments suck, especially when I was pretty much the only guy working with 40 College Cheerleaders every year for 5 years..But it did eventually happen- and not with the person I expected (although I will admit she was a former one of those cheerleaders) , so all I can say is keep your head up, and the second you really stop looking for it, is probably when it will happen..

_________________Fastest know derailer of threads in the know universe...expanded or otherwise.

My wife for some reason always gets pissed at this, but several of my male friends think its genius -

There is always the "practice date"-- although granted they arent always easy to set up..

For my situation a couple of friends and I used to go hang out on the weekend.. I was deciding if I wanted to go out with my wife-- so as we were all leaving a pool hall one night-- I told the person that brought her, I would take her home, since he was going the opposite way- (so was I). As we drove back- I told her I was hungry and we stopped at a diner- and since I was delaying from taking her home- Id buy her some food for "the inconvenience"-- so we had a nice one on one chat with the normal getting to know you phase you usually have at the beginning of first date dinner- instead of the "friends in a group conversations" we usually had, without the real pressure of the date..If it went horrible, I could have just dropped her off as a friend with no harm no foul..

We seemed to have clicked and had intelligent conversation-- so I decided to ask her out "officially" after that...

Like I said-- not always easy to set up-- but it worked for me this time..

_________________Fastest know derailer of threads in the know universe...expanded or otherwise.