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Tuesday, 17 May 2016

The Importance Of Having True, Good, Supportive Friends; Let's Talk About Friendship.

Hello hello! So today I wanted to do a personal post about friendship. I feel like I've learnt a lot about friendship in the past few years and I guess, who really matters over the past few years and even months. Growing up can be tough, girls can be horrible, boys can be horrible too. At some stages, I was so unhappy because of my 'friends' and it felt like the end of the world, looking back, those challenges have made me who I am today. I think I'll definitely do a follow-up post about those challenges in detail at some point if anyone is interested. I'm stronger, braver and I definitely wont take any rubbish from so-called friends anymore. Life is too short to be unhappy and waste it on unappreciative, rubbish friends and I am so glad I've realised that recently, trust me, it took me a long time. Good friendship is really important and I've realised recently just how important it is to be surrounded by good, supportive and trust-worthy friends. It really can enhance your life. When I was younger, I definitely thought it was about quantity rather than quality, as I've grown up, I've realised I'd much rather have two good friends than twenty not so good friends. Friends come and go, some stay forever, some friendships happen and they're completely unexpected. I just wanted to talk about my experience with friends today I guess. As a teen, I had a lot of issues with not-so-nice girls and I finally feel like I'm in a good place with friends and I've realised so much. I wanted to share a few happy thoughts about friendship and celebrate friendship. I'm a strong believer in building each other up rather than knocking each other down and far too many people are there to knock people down.

I can tell this is going to be a rambly post, I apologise in advance. I know some of these quotes are really cliche but they're so true so I'm using them as the basis for this blog post.

It's Doesn't Matter How Often You See Someone - I love nothing more than those friends who I can catch up with months on. As we grow up, we're all busy and just because I don't see someone every day doesn't mean they're not one of my best friends. When I was younger, if you weren't writing on someones Facebook wall you weren't friends... but as I've got older and we've all matured, it's really about how it is when you do see someone that matters. I'm that person who takes either one second to text back or one day, I like having friends in my life who totally get that and don't get frustrated with me for being a little bit rubbish sometimes. We all juggle crazy busy lives and when we do eventually meet up, it's like nothing has ever changed. Me not texting you back doesn't mean I don't care, it means I'm just a bit rubbish or in the middle of something and I will text you back eventually and hey, when we do meet up, it'll be like we only saw each other yesterday. They're the best kind of friends, you know what they say, 'good friends are like stars, you don't always see them but you know they're always there'. So many of my friends are like this. I class them as my best friends but I honestly don't have to see them every day. Some of my closest friends are friends I only see once every 6 months but I know they're still like family to me. Don't forget, a little text here or there to show you're still around really can mean the world though and I'm working on doing that more. I guess it's about the effort you put in even if you are busy, even if that is just a quick text.

Sometimes It's The Least Likely People - Me and one of my best friends (Gabs) were on the same course for three years and it was only once she graduated that we became amazing friends. It just goes to show that these things just happen, I was on her course for three years and we barely spoke but the minute she finished, she's one of my closest friends. We just clicked one Summer and I can't imagine my life without her now, she truly is my rock. Another friend, Nat, I worked with her for a few weeks part-time and we've been friends ever since, even living together! Who knew a Saturday job could make such a good friendship. I felt so lonely in my first year of University, I really expected to meet 'friends for life' as my brother put it. He met friends for life so when would I? I sat there waiting patiently for it to happen and then it never really happened. Four years on, I haven't made a huge crazy friendship group like I hoped, but I have made some incredible friends at University, all sprinkled around the place actually. For some reason, I expected to make best friends with everyone in my University halls and thought we'd be one big happy group. Actually, my friends all tend to be from different courses and none of them even really know each other. I'm happy with the way my University friendships have turned out, I've made a few really solid friends as well as meeting the love of my life at University who is honestly my best friend too. It goes to show that you can't predict friendship and you'll make friends with the people you're meant to make friends with in time. For example, this year, I hoped to make some course friends and honestly, I don't think I've met anyone new on my course. My only regret is not trying harder to meet more people and getting myself out there more, there are so many people at University and I often feel sad for not meeting more people!

Friendship Isn't About Who You've Known The Longest But Who Came And Said "I'm Here" and Proved It - This couldn't be more true. I have so many friends who genuinely care about what I do/put a lot of effort in with me but they haven't necessarily been around for ten years. If you read my blog post about how getting cheated on affected me you'll know that two of my 'closest', life long friends actually ended up being the girls that my ex boyfriend cheated on me with. As far as I'm concerned, that isn't friendship whatsoever and now I am so cautious about the way that people treat me. It just goes to show that trusting someone you've known for over ten years isn't always a good idea. For me, friendship is about proving it - even if you don't see someone for 6 months, knowing that if you really needed their support/them, they'd drop everything and come really does mean the world, or even knowing that they'll pick up the phone and help you through a difficult time.

Unexpected Friends Are The Best - That friend you randomly met on a night out and you became best friends? I love it when unexpected people become the best of friends. For example, I never in my life expected that some of my best friends would come from blogging. They're not just bloggers to me, they are truly some of my best friends, I tell them everything about my life and definitely don't see them as colleagues, take Kayleigh, VictoriaandScarlettfor example, I don't know what I'd do without these girls, they help me with every aspect of my life. Not to mention the lovely group of blogger girls I went to Ibizawith (Victoria, Tamara,Sammi,SuzieandCarly)soon we're heading to Greece too! We spent a weekgigglingaway and I've never felt so comfortable and content around a group of people. Comfort is so important, too often I feel uncomfortable around people but true friends are the kind of friends you can sit in a room with and just feel completely at ease. That's how those girls make me feel, so happy, inspired and comfortable. I could trust each and every one of them with my life. Makesure you read my blog post about my favourite blogger best friends. At school you're kind of conditioned to always be 'bestfriends' with the people you grow up with, but actually, there'sroom for more people. I love my friends from blogging so much, they just 'getit'. I find some friends don't 'getit' and maybe when you grow up, yourvalues and opinionschangewhichcould be why.

Be Wary Of Those Who Don't Clap When You Win - I've sadly had to erase a lot of 'friends' out of my life - the kind of friends who just cannot say well done, you look nice today or congratulations! I've found that so many people in life find it difficult to just be happy for a friend. I had a lot of friends who turnedtheirnose up at my blog and still to this day I have friends who refuse to discuss my blog even though it's my job. I don't understand friends who can't be happy for you. I try and make it my mission to compliment someone every day, you'll know that if you read my little things that make me feel good, confident and happy post. It is so important to spreadpositivity and compliment people. I don't want my friends to tell me I look good or like my things on socialmedia from a vainpoint of view, but when you know someone is seeing everything you do on social media, it would be nice for them to just acknowledge that they're supportive of you. I have a lot of 'bestfriends' who follow me on socialmedia but just cannot even bringthemselves to like my photos, it sounds so trivial but to me it just shows a completelack of support, coupled with the fact that they can't even mention my blog. For example, I didsomething I was really proud of and not one of my so called 'bestfriends'said well done to me. To me, this spoke volumes and recently I decided to distance myself from people who can't just be happy for you, even if yourpassions are different. I know that when my friends do something I am always proud of them and go out of my way to let them know that. It seems that often isn't returned. For so long I thought I was the problem but I've come to realise, sometimes people just can't be happy for others. I see it in so many girls, rather than workingtogether and building each other up, they turntheirnose up and just cannot be happy for others. This needs to change.

Some Friends Come Into Your Life For A Reason, Others Just For A Season - Some people can use and you must spot these people. I'd like to think I'm very good at spotting these people and it makes me hold onto my good friends much more tightly.

Wearing Your Heart On Your Sleeve - I've been really hurtbefore because I'm someone who seems to trust everyone as a friend, tell them my life story (or used to do anyway) so I'm much more cautious now, I often feel like 'youdidn't even deserve to get that close to me'. So I'm working on not wearing my heart on my sleeve so much. It's hard being a thoughtful person when othersaren't the same sometimes! I still believe in being completely positive and polite.

True Friendship Isn't About Being Inseparable, It's About Being Separated And Nothing Changes - I actually became a lot closer to certain friends whilst I lived abroad. Those friends who checked in with me and made sure I was okay, really shone through. It's easier to sustain a friendship nowadays with technology and it's so nice to see who makes the effort when you're living 12 hours away from home! You know what they say, true friends are never apart, maybe in distance never in heart!

Friendship Is Not About People Who Act True To Your Face, It's About People Who Remain True Behind Your Back - This is very true, when I was younger I remember I distanced myself from a friend who couldn't defend me. A group of girls weren't being too nice and rather than standing up and saying, come on girls, Em is my friend, she just sat there and let them do it. I feel like remainingloyal to your friends is very important and if I was in a situationwhere someone wasn't being nice about my friend, I would stand up for that friend. Too many people letthemselves be pushed over by the bully of the group. I found this when I was younger anyway.

A Flower Does Not Think Of Competing To The Flower Next To It. It Just Blooms - One of my favourite quotes but it's so true, I am always so happy for my friends. I want my friends to succeed and do well in life, if you don't feel the same or your friends don't feel that way about you, you should question if they really are your true friends? I want nothing more than my friends to be happy and go onto do incredible things in life. Life isn't about competition, it's about supporting each other, helping each other grow, learn and on bad days, helping each other up but on good days, saying well done too. A little gratitude goes a long way, as does a little bit of support.

Surround Yourself By People Who Inspire You - Lastly, a positive note. The minute I started surrounding myself with like minded, supportive and inspirational people, my happiness increased. It lifted my mood and positivityinstantly.

Remember, what Susiesays about Sallysays more about Susie than it says about Sally and you can be the ripestjuiciestpeach in the world but there's always gonna be someone who doesn't like peaches.

My tips? Surroundyourself with people who are nice to you, people who appreciate you, people who are going to motivate you, inspire you and mainly, make you happy.

Do you have any friendship tips? Have you learnt anything along the way? Do you feel the same?

Lots of love, Emx

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Welcome to multi-award winning blog, Emtalks. My name is Em Sheldon and I am based between Leeds & London. My passions are beauty, fashion, fitness, wellbeing, food and all things beachy. I like to travel. I am also a fitness fanatic so you may find me doing yoga or HIIT somewhere if I'm not on my spin bike. For all enquiries please email me at emtalks@gmail.com (my only email address) - I would love to hear from you!