Somewhere post apocalypse

Or that’s what it feels like anyway. It’s like a very clear line in the sand. Before the infusion, during and after. I’ve been home for about 4 days going on 189. The mind is really fucked up because normally I would consider myself to be the type of person to be perfectly happy in my seclusion. I’m the type of person that cancels plans to stay home, in my pjs, and listen to music or an audiobook. But right now it feels like I’m about to rip my freakin face off.

Suddenly I want to go out and be the most social butterfly of a person there ever could be. Like literally surround myself with people and chatter and just fucking noise.

Suffice to say my mind is playing tricks on me. My body knows it needs this healing time and all the boring sleep that comes with it. I’ve been treated to daily immune boosting smoothies by my very own Nurse Joey (who seems to enjoy watching me drink down the nastiest concoctions)
Because I had rarely watched tv before the infusion due to the bad eyes, I’m still sorta unsure what to make of the whole tv thing. Like I know it’s there and there’s definitely stuff I could watch but part of me is worried that I’ll feel the same symptoms while watching and get really down that the Lemtrada didn’t work it’s hocus pocus magic. Maybe I’m just not ready to face that right now.

So for now, I alternate between audiobooks, Apple Music overload, overheating and freezing , getting in and out of bed, and trying to ‘find’ a hobby to occupy my time, which in and of itself, has occupied several hours of time. And so, in case anyone’s keeping score, I’m calling that a success!