Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Monday, February 25, 2008

After about a month of trying we finally made it to church Sunday morning. Our previous attempts have failed because of being ill and the weather. Mackenzie was thrilled, I have no idea why but this girl wants for us so badly to attend church on a regular basis. Ever since Todd's passing it is something that I have wanted to do but church has never been an importance in my Life. I believe in God, and I attended church as a child but I just have not made the time as an adult to attend. But in this past year I have found myself turning to God and praying alot more when life was falling apart all around me. I look at my kids and it is something I really want for them. I want God to be first in their life. Mackenzie has this spirit about her, it's hard to explain. Whenever I am down and out about something she just has this way about her. She often asks me to pray for people and things. This often shocks me because she has not ever gone to church. We attended a Birthday celebration for a little boy who passed from cancer this past year and after we left Mackenzie informed me that she prayed for the boy and his family when we released balloons at the beach. She said Mom I said the prayer in my head.. All I could think was how remarkable that was for her. At 7 I'm not even sure if she understands the whole concept of death, but she must understand a whole lot more than I am giving her credit for. She was so happy getting ready for church and while we were there, I watched her pay close attention to everything that was said. As soon as it was over she said, we are going again next week right... I'm so very proud of her and I think that church will start to be more of a priority on our lists. On another note I checked Tyler's grades online Friday and wow was I shocked. He is getting three D's. I cried, I just could not believe it, Tyler has always gotten such good grades. I talked with him after school Friday and he just started crying saying that school is just so hard and he is struggling to understand everything. Talk about feeling like a bad parent, I had no idea he was having such a problem. I want to call his teacher but I must admit I am a bit nervous. I really do not care for her to well. I told him to start bringing all of his books home and I would try to help him out. I never thought I would have to worry about this with Tyler, school work has always just came so easy for him. This parenting stuff only gets harder with age, don't let anyone fool you.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

After a week of being sick John finally gave in and went to the doctor. To bad the doctor said there was nothing he could do for him, he would just have to ride it out. He finally stopped running a temp last night, I have never seen him so sick I mean he does not remember hardly anything from this past week. I was talking about how we got so much rain on Sunday and how the temperature was almost 50 degree's and now we are back to freezing, he said he had no idea it even rained or that it was so warm out on Sunday. I guess that's what having a high fever will do to you. What still amazes me though is that I have been telling him for the past week to go to the doctor, his Mom, my Mom everyone thought he should be seen because of the duration of his fever, but it was not until someone from work suggested he see a doctor does he actually go, I guess I see how I rate. Mackenzie has been so worried about her Daddy, she will make an awesome mother some day. She was constantly checking his temp, bringing him things, covering him up with blankets. I think she took better care of him then I did. She made him get well cards and pictures. What a wonderful daughter.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

This has got to be the longest winter I can remember. I swear we get more snow everyday. I had a feeling last night that school was going to be canceled and sure enough all the kids are home today. John is still very sick I am trying to talk him into going to the doctor but he keeps saying that he does not need to. His seems to be more in his chest, his fevers are what bothers me, but everyone I talk to say that it does linger for quite a while. Hopefully he can manage to go back to work tomorrow. I just want life back to normal well whatever that may be. Last night proved that there really is never a dull moment in my life. All the daycare kids went home I finshed cleaning up and my phone rings. My youngest sister is on the phone hysterical, asking me to keep Junior until her class was done, see I kept Junior for dinner last night and I was going to bring him home to my Mom later in the evening. Well Katie and My Mom got into an arguement and Katie did not want my Mom having Junior at all. Anyone who knows Katie and my Mom this is very typical. This time I could hear my Mom crying and My sister's boyfriend yelling in the background. I told Katie I would keep him but when I got off the phone I found myself instantly getting upset. I thought why in the world do they all have to do this. The more I thought about it, I decieded I needed to go over there, it really bothered me hearing someone talking so loudly to my Mom. I had just taken John's Temp, it was 103 once again. I load him up on medication and tell the older kids to watch the younger ones and I take off. I can barely get out of my driveway it is snowing so badly. I get over there and all hell is breaking loose. My Dad is out in his garage doing what he does best and Katie, Rich & my Mom are going at it. They are fighting over how to raise Junior and various other things. I am trying to be the voice of reason but suddenly I am right in the middle of all of it. I like Rich I think he has been nothing but great for Katie but I did not like how he was talking to my Mom and he got to see the bitch side of me real fast. I guess I am old fashioned I do not think that any Man should yell at a women especially his girlfriends mother. It's not that I am siding with anyone I see all their points but there is such a thing as respect. When someone takes you in as part of the family and loves you like their own, there is really no need to scream in their face and point out all their flaws. My Mom is not perfect, none of us are. Yes she may have alot of issues with my Dad, but those issues are not ours to judge. Maybe she does try to control Junior more than she should, but she has good intentions. It is just very hard for Rich and Katie to see this because they live with her. My Mom loves children, anyone that knows her will tell you that. She does spoil her grand kids, does it piss me off sometimes? Yes, but that is what Grand parents do.... She also is always there to help out. She is a free babysitter, I can call her whenever and she will never say no. I can depend on her to always be there for my kids and that is something that I am very grateful for. She has a very kind heart, except when it comes to my Dad, but I can't always blame her for that. After last night I really see how troubled they all are. No one can ever admitt they are wrong in that house. Katie and my Mom have alot of issues from the past that they need to deal with, without anyone else stating their opinion. I pray that they can become close again. I think the first step is having Katie and her family move out of my parents house, I believe that will help alot. Then maybe their relationship will get better. After an hour or maybe longer I finally come home and John is hot, he is so tired of all the drama, he see's it as I just waisted a night with my own family. Which he is right, was it worth my time and getting myself all worked up? Plus Junior and Hailey were making mess after mess and John being as sick as he was had a very hard time keeping up with them. So I came home to another battle. Families.. Gotta love them...

Friday, February 15, 2008

I could not be more ready for the weekend. It has been such a slow week, I was not sure I would make it til Friday. The kids are on mid winter break, which means they had today and Monday off. Which means my house is pretty crazy.... Monday will not be as busy as today so at least that's behind me. I love spying on the kids, that may sound evil, but I get such a kick at how kids talk to one another when they think adults are not looking. We tried to do many activities to make the day pass but it still seemed to drag on for me. Katie had all the kids participate in a coloring contest, The winners receieved skittles, well everyone actually got skittles but the winners which were two because of age groups got to bring home a pack of their own. We had story time which the boy's basically thought this meant bounce off the walls time. (That's what the skittles can do to you.) We had pizza because I was to lazy to make lunch, but the kids all seemed to love that. My house was so busy earlier it actually feels weird just having my three home tonight. I keep hearing kids yelling in my mind.(Crazy) It feels so nice to actually stay home on a Friday night and have nothing to get up early for tomorrow. John is not feeling to good, he caught the bad cough, fever and chills that is going around so that is another reason we are in for the night. Well my hope is to have a very relaxing no drama weekend (if that is even possible) so we shall see...

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

I have a new obsession... I love all the survey's on MySpace. Yesterday I filled one out called "How I met John". It was all questions about how you met your significant other. Well last night on the ride home from Muskegon I started telling John about the survey and my son and his big ears started asking questions about how I met his Daddy. So John and I tell him the story about how my Sister and his brother used to Date and basically that is how it all started. Well he wanted to know more, our ages, which most of you know while I was out of Highschool, John was still in Highschool, so Tyler found that very amusing. He payed close attention to our story. John and I were pretty surprised about how much we both still remmeber being 12 years ago. We each remember the first time our hands brushed up against each other. It was kinda fun thinking back about how our relationship came about. Of course he wanted to know about when I was pregnant for him. I told him that when he was born I had lost my job and we were dirt poor. I had to work at Meijer's again just to buy diapers for him. It's funny how I remember that so well and it was such a long time ago. John worked during the day and I worked at night. It was a really tough time for us just having a baby and all. But by the grace of God, and my cousin's husband, John was able to get this great job that payed good money and offered lot's of over time. I was so excited it was right before Tyler's first Christmas and I would have had to work alot on the Holiday's. John came home and said he got the job and minutes later I quit mine. I was never so happy and he has been there ever since. I look back at that time in our lives and I am so thankful I got to spend the time with Tyler. It was only him and I most of the time, John worked alot of off shifts and often worked 7 days a week. We lived at Tiffany Woods so we were in walking distance to everything. I often feel so bad because I am just so busy to do anything with Tyler alone these days, but now looking back I realize all the time we shared when he was younger really made a strong base for our relationship. Then of course Mackenzie wanted to hear about when she was a baby. I had lots to tell her, she loves hearing about how much I wanted her. I always tell her the story of how I tried for a whole year to get pregnant and stay pregnant and finally after giving up I was blessed to be pregnant with her. Here favorite part is after she was born I held her all the time. I cooked, cleaned, did everything with her attached to me. She just loves hearing that. I guess it reminds her of how special she is to me. After all that I felt kinda guilty for Hailey because I think being the last child I did not have as much time for her. I don't know if I have ever given her good one on one time. I was not able to spoil her as much as the older two. In fact I am constantly telling her what a pain in my butt she is. If only I could turn back time and appreciate all those moments. Well I guess it's never to late to start.