A lot has been said about former NFL player Aaron Hernandez who committed suicide in his prison cell last year. It’s hard to know for sure what Hernandez was suffering through, especially in the last years of his life. What is known is that he was going through an unimaginable amount of pain. We know this from the diagnosis of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), which was revealed after his death.

CTE is a disease that occurs in the brain when a person is repeatedly hit in the head, which is why NFL players are prone to getting it. Symptoms of CTE include difficulty thinking, impulsive behavior, depression, emotional instability, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts or behavior, and much more.

In an investigative piece in the Boston Globe we are learning more about Hernandez through people that knew him best as well as his former teammates. What is clear is that Hernandez’s CTE diagnosis was very apparent in retrospect, but we’re also learning that his childhood may have also contributed to his destructive behavior as an adult.

Jonathan says that he wanted to get help. He wanted to call 911 and report his father, but when he attempted, it only made matters worse.

“I picked up the phone once to call, to seek help,” Jonathan tells the Boston Globe. “And his response was, ‘Call them.’ And he handed me the phone, and he said, ‘I’m going to beat you even harder, you and your brother, and they’re going to have to pull me off of you when they knock down the door.'”

SanSoucie says that he didn’t come out to his family until after Aaron had died. He also added that Aaron had told him that he was sexually abused when he was a young boy. According to the article, Aaron’s home life would never allow for him to come out as gay. His brother says that gay slurs were used by his father constantly and even though Aaron displayed gay tendencies he never dared tell his father the truth.

Aaron’s erratic behavior — a symptom of CTE — was very much part of his athletic life, both on the field and off.

"When Dr. Anne McKee autopsied Patriots TE Aaron Hernandez…she found the most severe case of CTE ever in someone under 30. Now, she's seeing a similar pattern in deceased veterans who experienced a different kind of head trauma — combat blasts." pic.twitter.com/0b1WpvkLQU

“There would be swings where he’d be the most hyper-masculine, aggressive individual in the room, where he’d be ready to fight somebody in fits of rage,” former Patriots receiver Brandon Lloyd tells the Boston Globe. “Or he’d be the most sensitive person in the room, talking about cuddling with his mother. Or he’d ask me, ‘Do you think I’m good enough to play?'”

Needless to say, his behavior didn’t go over well with the players especially their captain Tom Brady.