My take on the daily menu of mishegass I encounter as a criminal defense lawyer in Los Angeles. I'm Murray Meyer, Esq. and I've been working as a criminal defense lawyer for 21 years. This blog is a companion piece to my one man comedy show which strangely enough is also called "IT'S CRIMINAL! the comedy (getting people off & other legal fantasies)"

Sunday, September 28, 2008

POWER IN THE COURT

I’m in a rape trial – titanic forces of evil and good crashing against each other. What’s the Climax of this Cosmic Confrontation for me?I call a witness and I project a map of southern California onto the big screen for the jury. There’s an issue about the route the alleged victim took to get to Los Angeles where she was allegedly brutally raped by my client. You don’t want to know the details, trust me. I pull out my LASER PEN - I’ve been waiting to do this ever since I got the pen few weeks ago from another lawyer during another trial. But I didn’t have occasion to use it until now, 3 weeks into this trial. I’m pointing on the map with MY LASER trying to locate Temecula, California and all of a sudden there’s another beam on the map – this beam is coming from the direction of the bench – the Judge. HIS HONOR has whipped out HIS LASER PEN and he’s pointing it right on Temecula – “thank you your honor”, I say. I’m hoping he’ll back off but no he keeps it right on the map going to all the other cities we’re talking about – San Clemente, San Diego, Riverside, San Bernadino. I’m thinking what am I gonna do? Could I say “Your honor could you just let me use my goddamn LASER?." No, I couldn't. I diplomatically with reluctance withdraw my LASER. The judge finishes up MY PRESENTATION with HIS LASER. What can you do?