So last month I was in Portland for about a week, thought I would check out the clubs there. Portland has a lot of clubs but contrary to popular belief, Houston, Texas has more clubs than Portland! BUT Portland DOES have the highest number of strip clubs per capita in the US. Confusing? I know. Let's just put it like this, there are plenty of strip clubs in Portland.
It wasn't as easy to just walk in and start working that same night as I thought. That's what I'm used to....walk in, audition or sometimes not, get hired and work.
The first club we (I went there with Mandy) went to was Acropolis. It was a Wednesday and right around 7 pm.

The club was empty, it was still early though and the super unenthusiastic door guy told us that the manager wasn't there and gave me a card with a name and a number on it and told me to call it to set up an appointment. An appointment?
I'm assuming for an interview or audition. I did not have time to set up any appointments, I wanted to find a club that night and work. Well, after that we went to Casa Diablo. There is a Casa Diablo next to Acropolis called Dusk 'Til Dawn: Casa Diablo 2 but we went to the other (original) one. There the very enthusiastic DJ told us that in order to get hired you have to audition on camera. The footage then gets sent to the owner that decides whether you can work or not. This also includes a small interview where you get asked why you like dancing and what you know about veganism (NOT to be confused with vaginism) and a few other random questions.
Random question maybe, about veganism but Casa Diablo is a VEGAN strip club. So do not wear your fur bikini or ostrich feather panties there. Well, I wanted to work. So I said yes and got the awkward on camera audition done and over with and started that same night (Mandy too).

Let me start with what I liked about Casa Diablo. The girls were rather friendly and diverse looking. Lots of tattoos, piercings and different hair styles. I was probably the only one in there without any tattoos. Very cheap to work, only $2 and $5 to each bouncer. The guys sitting around the stage are required to tip at least $2 per song per entertainer and they use two dollar bills in there. Friendly staff. I liked the lights on stage and the DJ played what I wanted to dance to. Great hours 9 pm - 2 am. I can do that no problem.
Now the stuff that I did not care for. Although cheap to work, they take 30% out of your lap dance money. That's a big chunk. For the first time in my years in this business I saw several girls dance with a butt plug, yes BUTT PLUG jammed up in their butthole. I was like.....????!
Of course I asked a girl about it, like does it hurt and does she leave it in ALL night? She told me, after bending over and spreading her cheeks open right in my face, that yes she does leave it in all night and no it does not hurt. Casa Diablo is a nude club so I got an eyeful of all kinds of buttholes with butt plugs inserted in them. Interesting indeed.....To each their own but I personally do NOT think that butt plugs belong in a strip club. It gives off a trashy dirty vibe I think. I am also concerned for the future consequences health wise for the girls that do this. Dancing several nights a week, having a butt plug inserted in your butt even two nights per week, that's ten hours or so.....is this something that can ruin that area of the body after prolonged use? Perhaps a question to ask your proctologist.
Also the girls get way too friendly with the guys sitting around the stage, they would even get off the stage and climb all over the guys. Again, not my style.
Why pay for a lap dance when you can put up a few dollars and get all of that?
I also had a feeling that the lap dances in there were too hands on and wild, I didn't see anything crazy in the lap dance area but that was just my impression. I saw some other questionable practices on stage like full on girl on girl shows. I like it when girls make out but again, not in a strip club. A strip club should be a strip club, not some kind of a sex show/freak show. Would I ever go back to Casa Diablo and work? Never say never.

This was posted in the dressing room of Casa Diablo. In case you or somebody you know want to make an appearance at the Jerry Springer show. I will pass. I don't need to get my hair ripped out by some crazy dancer on meth.

Also posted in the dressing room. This is pretty good. I'm just too lazy to do all of that.
"You want a dance?", "You need?" or "lap dance bitch/es, hooker/s, slut/s?" is what I muster up. Yes, guys get really happy when I call them bitch or slut. It works!

One night we went to Club Rouge where I ran into my friend Egypt that I used to work with at the Bush Company in Anchorage. What a small world! That was a happy reunion!
And according to Egypt, the butt plug thing happens at pretty much every strip club in Portland, it must be some kind of a "trend" or something. Club Rouge is located downtown Portland and I like the location. The lights on stage there are HORRIBLE, they should definitely work on that. And a very unprofessional DJ with very bad music taste, they should work on that too. So, we could work but had to start during the day with the option to stay over at night (after suffering through a long and probably dead day shift) because they had too many girls which Egypt confirmed but I am not going to work at any club around noon unless it's absolutely FANTASTIC guaranteed or my only option. So no on that for me.
A Saturday night during a HEAVY downpour we ran through the rain to Spyce, also downtown. I liked it because it's a topless club and it looked kind of nice inside.
It seems like most clubs in Portland are nude. Anyhow, I think we could had worked that night BUT we decided against it because they keep your money, if you get paid with a credit card, for a few days. I guess until the transaction goes through. And we did not have time to possibly have to wait for a few days since this was a shorter visit. After calling several other clubs that same night I learned that MOST clubs in Portland do not hire walk ins. They have one specific day a week (usually in the afternoon) set aside for auditions and that's it. Or like at Acropolis and a few other clubs, you call a number and take it from there. Way more complicated than I'm used to but now I know and should I decide to go back to Portland and try it again I know how to plan ahead better.

Not only does Portland have a plethora of strip clubs. They also have some other places like this one conveniently located walking distance from our motel. Me and Mandy would joke around that we could always work there but in reality of course not.

I'm not really sure what that Honey Suckles is all about but I have a feeling it's not a place for me. We stayed on 82nd Avenue, since this was my first visit to Portland I had NO clue what 82nd Avenue was all about. But now I know! I guess it could be worse and I'm still alive so whatever, I survived a week at a dodgy motel called Red Roof Inn on 82nd Avenue in Portland. One more experience in my life, that's how I look at it. I actually did ask the girl at the front desk if anyone had ever been murdered there after a few people visibly high on something more potent than weed, which is legal in Oregon, walked through the lobby.
She said no. Not yet I said.
Here are some 82nd Avenue souvenirs!

But hey, I LOVE Portland! It's a beautiful city, my kind of place and I do want to go back there. So I might. Because I only scratched on the surface of Portland, so much to see and do there!

So back to the butt plug thing. You can read about what other dancers have to say about it here. Quite interesting. To sum it up, I very much agree with what a girl calling herself TiffTiff has to say, page 2 comment number 46.