“Well, science is … we don’t really … that’s like … [He pauses. Then he waves his hands as if to say, “OK, an analogy”] If you’re trying to fuck a girl, but her mom’s home, fuck her mom! You understand? You want to fuck the girl, but her mom’s home? Fuck the mom. See? Now you don’t really feel that way. You don’t really hate her mom. But for this moment when you’re trying to fuck this girl, fuck her! And that’s what we mean when we say fuck scientists. Sometimes they kill all the cool mysteries away. When I was a kid, they couldn’t tell you how pyramids were made. Like Stonehenge and Easter Island. Nobody knows how that shit got there. But since then, scientists go, ‘I’ve got an explanation for that.’ It’s like, fuck you! I like to believe it was something out of this world.”

Apparently, Insane Clown Posse is a Christian band, and they related a lot of their most creative stuff to loving Jesus and fucking mothers. And hating science. Those weird, netty, science-hating motherfuckers. Thanks to The Superficial for the heads-up on this one.

I have been WAY in to Juggalos for awhile now, but I haven’t had many people to enjoy them with. That’s been really unfortunate because Juggalos are sincerely one of the greatest forms of entertainment on the face of the planet. Juggalos aren’t just funny because they dress like goth clowns and seem to think they’re hard-asses, they’ve also built a huge community online that is one of the most supportive, familial groups on the Internet. Sure, they’re a group that claims to love mass-murder and encourages mental illness in its followers, but they love each other. I actually think it’s all kind of sweet because they’re trashy, but they’re not bad and everyone wants friendship.

So then cut to yesterday when this video blows up all over the place. I got this link sent to me by about 20 friends who were all, “OMG! This is that Juggalo thing you talk about?!” Yes! This is that Juggalo thing I talk about and you don’t have to apologize for being clueless because I know I’m always up on the hot stuff first and I’m used to this feeling of retribution. Bang bang!