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My friend commented, “Interesting. I nearly couldn’t recognise the voice, you sound like you’re in a different world and living a whole different life. I almost couldn’t recognise it.” (Sorry Ed, I plagarized it from our email.)

I read through every single entry, wondering if I really sound different from the ME in real life? Then again, is the ME in reality the real ME, or is the blog ME the real one? Confusing issue, when it comes down to one’s own identity.

Well, probably the ME here is twice as insulting and sarcastic as in real life with triple extra dosages of courage to write things I might not have dared to express in front of everyone. Of course I might be sued if I am not careful, but scribbling it out on a computer monitor is much easier than saying it out LOUD and CLEAR. Evidently, I am turning into a computer nerd. After tete-a-tetes with the computer for 9 hours at work everyday, I come home joyfully into its arms. No-lifer, people would have commented.

Or probably, it is just this ME who is living far far away from people I have known for my whole life. And, the different way of living and culture is being reflected in the way that I write (doubtful but still…). Therefore, logically, I should revert back into my old self when I return to Singapore (willingly or reluctantly).

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Ok ok. I have seen this riddle some donkey years ago, but have just received it again by email. I love puzzles and this is a personal favourite of mine, so people, start your heads cracking!

This is supposedly a puzzle set by Einstein! You know the brilliant guy who dreamed up the relativity theory? Here goes…

There are 5 houses located in a row, in 5 different colours. In every house, lives a person with a different nationality from the rest. The 5 of them, each drinks a certain type of beverage, smokes a unique brand of cigar and has a different pet. No 2 owners have the same pet, smoke the same kind of cigar or drink the same beverage.

The mind boggling question… ssshh… *whispers * Who owns a fish????

Here comes the clues!

1. The Brit lives in the red house.

2. The Swede keeps a dog as pet.

3. The Dane drinks tea.

4. The green house is on the left of the white house.

5. The owner of the green house drinks coffee.

6. The person who smokes the Pall Mall rears a bird.

7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.

8. The guy who stays in the house, in the middle, is a Mommy’s boy, he drinks milk.

9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.

10. The man who smokes blends lives next door to the one who has a cat.

11. The guy who owns a horse lives next to the Dunhill guy.

12. The Bluemasters smoker also drinks beer.

13. The German smokes Prince.

14. The Norwegian lives next door to the blue house.

15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water. (Personal opinion : anyone in the world who doesn’t drink water?? Duh!)

According to Einy, 98% of the world can’t solve this riddle. Well, apparently the world has changed. Anyway, I belong to the 2% of the old world! Not bragging here, but I have to solve it before I can verify the answers that you will send to me, right? I wouldn’t have the audacity of posting an unsolved riddle and risk physical violence from all of you out there, although I hardly think that you will be able to find me. The world is big!

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Don’t people know that it is impolite to stare, with 2 eyes (oh yeah, luckily humans have only 2) unblinkingly at others?!

I can understand that I am some sort of a novelty when I visit little rural villages in Europe and probably, most Japanese tourists (Oh yes, I am sick of the ‘moshi moshi’ that locals smartly throw at me! Let me clarify, I am definitely not a Japanese!) do not trek through these dirt tracks. They do stare, very briefly at me before looking away. Well, at least they have the decency to shift their line of sight and manage to look guilty for it.

As for my reaction, that really depends on my mood, whether it is a joyous day or a bad hair day (which is more often the case, figuratively and literally, when they defiantly persist in unruly curls and haphazard spikes, which tonnes of water, gel, brushing can never discipline.) On a smiley day, I will ignore them, IF, it doesn’t reach an excessive level. On the days when I get off the wrong side of the bed (you see, my bed is against the wall, so there can only be one correct side and to get off by the other way will produce disastrous results.), they will receive a double (or is it triple? I can never be sure.) dosage of rude stares back, with raised eyebrows and insolent tilt of my eyes (Believe me, I have had years of practise with it. Ask Nick.) Right there and then, a glorious battle of stares will take place. (Lethal staring is a high possibility for fist fights) I will stare till the other party drop their eyes and scuttle away in defeat. The triumph simply makes my day. Ah! The little joys in life!

Recently, I visited a trade fair in Munich, an international one. A weird phenomenon – I received stares from the Asians and not from the rest of the world. Is it because Asians simply have an insatisfiable sense of curiosity that extends to the looks of their fellow ethnic group members? Don’t I have 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 nostrils, one mouth, the same slanting eyes and black hair (ok ok it is a little reddish, but that can’t account for the total number of stares). I hate it when people stare at me, have I grown horns on my head or mushrooms on my face? Hardly not, since I am a regular humanoid and I do bathe everyday.

Therefore, I can only conclude that Asians can be so very rude and the best thing is, they do not seem to feel any remorse in this impolite act! As you can imagine, 8 hours of walking through the halls (and still unable to cover all grounds), 40% of the people were Asians (be it exhibitors or visitors), I had the time of my life practising my piercing stares (I am sure, by now, I have mastered a module in the art of ESP – Eye power, and be able to drill a hole in steel with a flick of an eye. Now, let me find a sheet to practise…). It sort of relieved the weariness from the endless trek through the uncountable halls. There! I derive joys from the pains of others. A perfect definition of a sadist. But, I LOVE IT!

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Really late now, supposed to be in bed. However, I will not be around for the next 2 days, so it will be better for me to pen it down, before random amnesia kicks in.

Sitting crosslegged on the bench in the terrace just outside the deserted Herreninsel museum (in Chiemsee, a really beautiful town with a clear sparkling lake) (no one, except me, was insane enough to brave the winds and leaves swirling in the air and ground), the realization of my change in mentality struck me.

The old me would never have done that. Before reaching a destination of interest, a schedule would have already been planned beforehand. Then I would march from one place to the next with sheer willpower (usually after I start feeling numbness in my legs) and determination. The motto was ‘Cover all grounds or drop dead’! With singlemindedness, I combed the entire town til near exhaustion. Scorning at the people sitting around on benches and drinking coffee at the cafeterias, I stalked on with conviction.

Perhaps I have more time for exploration, as compared to the short 3 weeks I had during previous travels. Now, I have the luxury to pick the season and weather to brave my adventures. Or perhaps, my new found (hopefully not a 3 minutes interest) hobby of photography has allowed me to look at trees, blades of grass in a different light. There are times when I simply stand around, roam aimlessly and shoot at anything that interests me. Sitting at a sidewalk cafeteria, sipping a cup of hot chocolate and observing the people around me, has ironically become my favourite pasttime. Now, I find the prowling tourists amusing and feel a sense of deja vu. Nothing beats having the idleness of afternoon tea and scribbling thoughts (evil ones as usual *cackle*) in my notebook or diary.

People may think I am so atypical but yes, castles are rather special to me. I simply love sitting on a bench, looking out at the far scenery (if it is possible) under the shade and muse about what great kings thought about when they were lounging there (or perhaps, the benches were not there in their era, but nevertheless….). Well, it doesn’t have to be kings, any normal person of that time would do. What would they be thinking and doing? How was life before the invention of electricity and modern equipment? Were they contented with their lives for most of them had to work til they died? Nah, don’t worry, I am not going crazy, yet.

Those are the joys of solo travelling. Some people looked at me in horror and exclaimed, ‘Isn’t it boring?!’ Well, truthfully, it is a totally new experience for a person like me. Perhaps, my subconscious self is more introvert than I realise and sometimes, not having to make conversation can be happiness in itself. Instead of expanding my brain power on conversations, it is turned inwards on self reflection and generating new thoughts and questions. If I were to confess that solo travelling is totally fun, there will be 2 kinds of conclusions derived by people around me. 1. I am totally mad. 2. I am totally selfish. What am I? A mixture of both, or none at all? I like to believe that it is just me.

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After almost a year in Germany, I am going home in 1 month’s time. I am experiencing a mixture of feelings — reluctance and eagerness.

I have looked upon this one year as a reprieve from my hectic life in Singapore, as I have time, a lot of time to myself, indulging in activities that I have been too busy for, in the bustling city. Reading books, surfing the internet, watching movies and vcds, walking in the park, taking photographs, writing my thoughts, and something unimaginable… simply sit back, do nothing and daydream and the list goes on. I will miss the 4 seasons, the serenely white winter, the blushing spring, vibrant summer and solemn autumn. Down to the more mundane things, the freedom to leave my mess on the floor, on the table, in the cupboard (you name it, you get it). Eating horribly cooked meals and still enjoying them as if they are platters from heaven. This time represents freedom to me. As I look back and think, I am going to lose all these. I will lose my assuring anonymity, my lack of responsibility and a small part of me, which has always yearned to break free.

On the other hand, I am looking forward to my return to my homeland. I have made plans, dreamed up fantasies, just waiting to burst free, the moment I step foot on Singapore. Whether they will succeed or fail, I can’t tell, not until I have executed them. This will be a back-to-the-reality time. To put behind me all the sweet memories of freedom and prepare to bound myself in the chains of responsibilities and burdens. Yes, I can understand that this is part and parcel of life. I am already luckier than most, having had my brief taste of the free air. What about the rest who would never have the chance to experience it like me? Are they still living their lives out to the fullest, knowing what they have missed? Right now, I am mentally preparing for the challenges that I would meet as I leave this unreal world and hurtle back to practical Singapore. I swear that I will never look back and yearn for the life here, my brief fling with freedom. I must never live in the past, as some of my friends, who would never recover from the shock of moving from tranquil studying world in Europe, back to the harsher one in the little city, does. Anyway, I can foresee that I will be kept so busy that I probably would not have the time for regrets or reminiscing.

So much for the PEP talk. Chin up, face the world, Singapore, here I come!

As the credits of Nottinghill rolled out 5 mins ago, I tried to recall, a time when everyone around me was gushing over the show, over Julia (This I can understand) and over Hugh Grant. Floppy brown hair, droopy blue eyes, clipped English accent. 10 years ago, I had believed that he was irresistibly cute as he blundered through a funeral and 4 weddings. So did the rest of my girlfriends. “Oooh, he is sooo cute. Why did Liz leave him!? Why isn’t there any Hugh-lookalikes in Singapore!” groanings echoed in the wake of Nottinghill.

Have I ever consider him cute? The floppy hair looks lame to me now, so do the droppy eyes. Have I outgrown my schoolgirl fantasies? Because life is more real right now, with room for more problems, but less fantasies. He looks so ordinary to me, Nottinghill feels so normal too. What has happened to the magical feeling of fairy tales of princesses falling in love with commoners? Have I misplaced it as I trudge through the chores of everyday? Nah, I have grown up and left Hugh behind, in the era when I was still 17. BUT, I still love his sexy, clipped English accent, over the drawling American ones. Ab-so-LUte-ly Se-xy! Some things just never change! Wink!

Let me see, 11 hours, I have spent on computers today. Therefore, that makes me a cock-eyed, erratic, bad tempered hunchback!! Imagine this — a whole world filled with psychopaths like me. All in all, it makes a perfect excuse to get off work and make time for more tea breaks! Cheers! Gosh! I am a perfect crackpot by now, time for tossing and turning in bed.

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One week of holiday and it takes me another one week to get my steam back. I guess all that whirlwind of activities went over my head. Breakfasts, lunches, dinners, good news, bad news, accidents and what-have-yous. Everything seems to pass me by in a zap. One short zap and everything is gone. There goes 2 weeks of my insignificant life.

A pleasant surprise I had, when I checked the webcount. 920 hits for a website that has been dead for 2 weeks. Not bad, I would say! (Psst! *holding up 2 fingers* I swear that I have not been hitting the pages myself! I have not logged on to the internet for the 2 whole weeks! I swear I swear! *squeak!*) I thank all of you for the encouragement and support (even though there might have been accidental hits. I have read that finger cramps happen often to heavy computer users.). *Bow head in appreciation*

Anyway, here I come again. *crack knuckles* Be prepared for a steady flow of sarcasm and idiotic antics! The morons win the day!