“Cab Game”

Living in New York City has tons of privileges. One of those is that you can ALWAYS get a cab! 😀

It’s not like the sticks, where you have to call for a cab or else you never get to leave where you are. :/ Also, you can go to a bar and drink your ass off, then stumble to the subway, a bus or a cab and arrive safely at your apartment… Whereas if you live in the sticks, that means you DROVE to the bar, and you might need to park in the Dairy Queen parking lot and sleep it off before you get on the road….. IF you can get on the road at all because maybe your car has one of those breathalyzer joints where it won’t start if you’re over the limit, hahahaha 😀

Anyway…

Cabs are a tremendous luxury and you have to make sure that your cab game is tight. If you successfully avoided sitting on couches, you came off with a fine young lady from the party, bar or club. 😀 Now… I know what your cheap ass is thinking… “I’ll take her on the bus, so that way, I only spend $4 for the both of us to get back to the crib… um… unless SHE has a metrocard, too, then it’s only $2 to get her home! :D”

ok… ok……….. So that’s what *I* was thinking. :/

Anyway… Don’t take her on the bus. No. No good. 🙁 Spend the extra ducats to get your cab game on.

If you take her on the bus or the train, you’re still in public. Tons of people around. If you take her in a cab, it’s just you and her. I mean, yeah, the cabbie’s there, but he needs to concentrate on the road and making sure he turns on your street. 🙂 Never mind him. Think of the cabbie as your personal chauffeur, “Jeeves”. It’s his job to drive and mind.his.own.business. It’s just you and her in the back of the cab. Also… if you can’t see HIM in the rear-view mirror… HE can’t see YOU… Capicse? 😀

If you take her on the bus or train, it’s all LIT UP and ish… Once you close the door to the cab and that little light goes out, it’s darkness, like Eddie Murphy and his brother in Hollywood! 😀 Much more mood-enhancing. Add that to the isolation and the fact that you basically have your own couch instead of sitting on a hard train bench crushed up between a couple of people that didn’t understand they weren’t slim enough to fit in that space between you and the next person… and cabs are WELL WORTH the extra ducats! 😀

So… Now that you’re in the cab, you need some basic tactics. >:)

The most important style is the “Richie Cunningham”. If you don’t know who that is, go back and watch reruns of “Happy Days”. Now… Richie was pretty much a scrub, so he was scared to press up on girls he was interested in. Because of this, he had certain tactics he would use so that he could play it off if she didn’t go for it. So, To do the “Richie Cunningham”, you’re sitting next to her on your chauffeured couch in the darkness with only the Manhattan street lights shining down on you, and you start faking like you’re tired. Yawn once or twice. Look at your watch or the clock on your phone or whatever so that she sees you’re feeling tired.

Put the phone away, then give a large !!!YAWN!!! while stretchng both arms out to the side. Make sure your arm on her side ends up BEHIND her neck instead of IN FRONT OF her face! :/ As you relax your hands from the yawn, your arm will naturally land… LIGHTLY!!! on her shoulder with your hand on the other side of her. Act surprised :O that your hand didn’t come all the way down, and look at her like “OH!… Sorry ’bout that!” and pay attention to what her face looks like. It’s either going to look like 😀 , :/ or :O .

:O = “GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, CREEP!!!”, in which case it’s a good thing that you did the “Richie Cunningham” because now you can act like it was an honest mistake and remove your arm, ASAP! 😀

:/ = The female version of the “Richie Cunningham”, which is her playing it off like she didn’t notice that you just put your arm around her. This is a good thing, because SHE DEFINITELY NOTICED. The continuation of this version of the Richie is to look her in the eye and smile at her, and she should smile back at you, happy that you like her. 🙂

😀 = Her laughing at you because you were so timid and intimidated by her that you felt you needed to resort to the internationally-known “Richie Cunningham” so that you would have a back-door to exit if she didn’t like you! HAHAHAHA awwwwwwwww. 😀 This is STILL a good thing, because she’s happy that you finally let her know you were interested in her, even though she now thinks you’re scared of her, and it’s going to take you a long time to live that down and regain your pimpin’ status! 😀