Jason Black and Frances Shroeder, a New York couple who decided to let the highest corporate bidder name their child, have a name for their expected son. Last week, they put the rights to their son's giving name on eBay at an initial bid of 500,000 dollars. Closet Elvis Productions won the auction at a currently undisclosed price. But the boy's name will not be Closet Elvis Black or CEP Black as the couple first assumed. Instead Closet Elvis President Jason Rodriguez decided to name the kid "Glad I'm Not." That's right, the child's name is going to be Glad I'm Not Black.

Jason and Frances are outraged at the move and are currently trying to void out the contract. "How can we let our son walk around the streets of New York City named Glad I'm Not Black? He will be a target for every African American citizen he encounters," says Jason Black.

Local African American community leaders are also outraged. Reverend Al Sharpton tells Closet Elvis, "This is a travesty; a supreme offense on the African American community." Sharpton is already organizing a protest to take place tomorrow in front of the Black's residence. "Only in America will a couple name their child Glad I'm Not Black. I hope they enjoy the money they got off of this deal, because that child is in for a world of hurt"

Recent opinion polls show that 98% of Americans polled agrees that the child is indeed "in for a world of hurt." 1% of Americans polled believe that the child is not "in for a world of hurt". Another 1% believe that the child is "in for a world of hurt" and that they are going to be the ones to "bust his ass."

When asked to comment on the naming of Glad I'm Not Black, Closet Elvis Vice-President and Spokesperson Marcelo Illarmo told us, "With all the racial tension that we're stirring up, I'm actually glad I'm not white…or that kid. Damn, he's gonna get his ass busted."

Recent opinion polls show that 98% of Americans polled agrees that the child is indeed "in for a world of hurt." 1% of Americans polled believe that the child is not "in for a world of hurt". Another 1% believe that the child is "in for a world of hurt" and that they are going to be the ones to "bust his ass."