Principles for Relationships from God's Word by Claudio Consuegra

6 marriage mistakes – 1

The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words. Proverbs 10:19 (MSG)

Julie Edgar[i] writes for WebMD about six marriage mistakes that women make and how avoiding them can make their marriage better.

Being Too Quick to Please. Instead of being a full and equal partner in marriage, some wives are too willing to give up on what they want. These wives focus much more on their husband than they do on themselves. They are usually afraid that expressing their wishes and desires could make a fight or some unpleasantness, or they just think that in order to preserve the relationship they have to diminish what they themselves want. Unfortunately, suppressing their wishes may lead to anger that eventually boils over. Instead, learn to express your concerns calmly and rationally, whether it is about housework or parenting duties, or about not getting enough time with your husband or for yourself.

Not Being Clear About Expectations. Couples with healthy relationships have made their expectations clear from the outset about things like division of labor, parenthood, money and time with their respective families. Many couples operate on what they know which is the way they grew up and assume that if it works for them, it works for their partners. The result is that resentment can easily build if expectations differ or are dashed on the rocks of hard reality. Have conversations, sooner than later, about what each of you expect in your marriage.

Underestimating the Effect of Tone of Voice. Your tone of voice can be an issue if it’s tinged only slightly with negativity. Verbalize your concerns in a respectful way instead of speaking in a frustrated, irritated voice. Discuss what’s bothering you in a way that searches for solutions and alternatives, rather than venting in a way that puts a peaceful solution further out of reach.

Father God, help us to avoid everything that could cause a breakdown in our marriage. Help me to speak calmly and respectfully so we can have positive conversations and positive outcomes.