Yes – I still miss blue skies and puffy clouds. (I took this photo of puffy clouds on the plane.)

No – I didn’t think I missed driving that much, until I saw my car. When I saw it I literally had to go sit in it, and open the sunroof and imagine I was cruising down the road on day filled with bright sunshine and cool breezes. (Unfortunately, driving it will have to wait until the next visit with the hopes that there will be more time re-tag it and get it out of storage.)

However, many of my friends said that after a summer away from this place, returning was harder than usual. (…And not being able to load their children in a car and take off go wherever and whenever they want to, is one of the reasons for their struggle.)

Yesterday as I sat at the grocery store waiting an hour for my bus, not being able to drive hit home at a higher level:

First a young expat mother, fully cloaked in the required black robe, came through the door pushing a heavy stroller that was filled with an older child that had outgrown it and carrying a baby. All three had sweat soaked hair and perspiration running down their faces, the mom was obviously stressed and fighting tears. The older child was sick and the mother couldn’t find what she needed for him and she was trying to find the solution on foot, in the heat, in a strange land before her bus would arrive.

Moments after we took the baby from her, handed her damp towels to wipe the sweat off, and they had something cool to drink another woman walked up. This woman is a new expat and thought she recognized others from her compound. She explained that she had taken the compound bus to a nearby bookstore, but the driver had not come back for her at the appointed time, which was nearly an hour ago. In the meantime, that store had lost all power causing her to leave and walk to the location we were in. She did not have the phone number for the driver or for anyone in the compound. When she discovered us, she was on the phone asking her husband to leave work to come and get her.

So yes – My time at the Anne Frank House last week hit home at a very high level, perhaps as one of my expat friends suggested, because many of the restrictions the Jews faced during WWII resemble the restrictions for women in this country.

In the midst of it all, I’m reminded that the secrets to making it as an expat are the secrets to adapting to any change:

Focus on the blessings, or the challenges will eat you alive.

Be willing to be vulnerable and ask for help when you need it. By doing so, you receive the full gift of the experience and gain wisdom, renewed strength, and life-long friendships.

Turn each challenge into an adventure and use it to be better prepared the next time and to support others.

Some of the blessings I’m counting:

My husband does not work offshore. So he is with me every night. (That is not the case for other women here.)

That we are all in this together: If another expat has an extremely tough day, others rally on their behalf! (When you move from state to state you don’t usually have a community of people like this to help you navigate the challenges or the emotions that come with change.)

In two and a half months we get to take another trip, this time to a place on my husband’s bucket list. (Ahhh, the power of a vision!)

So back in the sandbox I am doing significantly better than I usually am 4 – 6 months after a new move.

Please share:

What advice would you give to others to stay focused, positive and purposeful in the midst of change?

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YOU ARE INVITED: To add your comments and to share your professional, personal and faith-based stories. Diverse opinions, compassion, and inspiration are welcome! (I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.)

4 thoughts on “Back in the Sandbox: On Change and Expat Life”

Chery, the challenges you are facing are tough ones, both physically and emotionally. The word that comes to mind for me as I read your story is resilience. I wrote an article about the 3 women kept captive in Cleveland, and one of the reasons I suggested they would survive is that they had created their own tribe, something very important in developing resilience. And it sounds as though the women in your compound are drawing strength from one another. Communities and tribes with thriving, interconnected neighborhoods find that the way they share resources helps them withstand unexpected change. Seth Godin describes tribe-building as an investment because connection thrives on generosity, not need.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken”~Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV).

LaRae – Thank you so much for your comment! I absolutely loved that post! It is so hard for us to imagine living through somethng like those women in Cleveland, and so important to be reminded that it can be done and how to do it!

Chery Gegelman, Facilitator

Chery is a big picture, strategic thinker who understands the importance of relationships in making things happen. Her work with our Workforce Investment Board has demonstrated that once she has a vision, she can identify what needs to be done and motivate others to work as a team. Chery is a natural and skilled leader whom others are happy to follow.

Giana Consulting successfully completed a complex study on the establishment of a new training facility for the community college system in our state. It was done on time and on budget and exceeded our expectations. She is a true professional and was a pleasure to work with.

My class found your information insightful and especially helpful in processing their experience. They all mentioned that their future planning will include your wisdom and they stated that their newfound awareness of the natural processes you outlined will help them retain their positions, maximize their outcomes, and offer support to those in their circle of care.

If there is one person who knows how to work a crowd, it’s Chery!
I have had the honor of working with Chery on two leadership events that consisted of panel discussions and Chery served as the wonderful facilitator. Not only was she professional, well-spoken and poised, but her connection with the audience members was outstanding!
I received many compliments from guests after the event about how much they enjoyed her!

Chery is a smart, kind, brilliant, clever, charismatic, and adaptive business professional.
She is a true servant leader with unwavering integrity and ethics.
Chery is a progressive and thought-provoking consultant that works collaboratively to grow and guide people, empowering them to practice compassionate accountability; an essential element in competitive sustainability.

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About Chery Gegelman

Hi! I’m Chery,
I deeply believe that:
• Anyone can be a leader.
• Everyone knows something that the rest of us don’t.
• We all need to leave our workplaces, communities, nation and world – better than we found them.
Those beliefs caused me to:
1. Build bridges of communication and understanding between people in different positions, organizations, races, religions, and cultures.
2. Instigate change from every position I’ve ever had and continually provided opportunities to lead system-wide change from the middle and the edge of organizations.
Today I am The Founder of Giana Consulting, listed as a Great Leadership Speaker by Inc., write a recognized leadership blog and have co-authored two leadership books.
My faith and my firm belief that leaders need to walk their talk were the reasons I agreed to move to a part of the world that I once feared. During the four years I lived as an expat, I embraced daily opportunities to meet and learn from people that represented the nations in our world. Today - I combine my passion for character-based leadership with our Saudi experiences to help people learn to lead themselves, their people and their organizations at a higher level.