Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 07-29-2015

There is a secret list of black folk you cannot talk slick about for fear of sounding like Don Lemon. This list is on some dead sea scroll somewhere and is passed around at various negro social settings. I don’t know its entire contents but I do know that Patti LaBelle, Super-sized Luther, President Obama, White Jesus and Jill Scott are on it. Now before ya’ll come after me for breaking bad, let me just say I love Jill but right now I wish she would just stick to writing dope songs and nix the social commentary on Bill Cosby. Jill appeared on The Breakfast Club to promote her new album and explain why she can no longer support Pilly Billy! She said the comedian was like a hometown father, so she didn’t want to initially jump on the bandwagon with his accusers and tear down his legacy. Now she feels differently. She brought up previous accusations against Michael Jackson, Allen “Practice” Iverson and Kevin Clash (the dude who had his hand up Elmo’s ass for decades). She then added that ALL men have “proclivities” and THIS my friends is where she lost me.

Peep it at 10:17:

pro·cliv·i·ty

prōˈklivədē,prəˈklivədē/

noun

plural noun: proclivities

a tendency to choose or do something regularly; an inclination or predisposition toward a particular thing.

I’m no wordsmith, but I’m not sure “proclivities” equates to drugging and raping women. Proclivities to me is liking freckles or cute feet. Sigh… relax Jill and just take a long walk! <—- see what I did there? What say you, Brewchies?

Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 07-28-2015

<–fitting pose

Sigh….my auntie status is being tested today with these urban Backyardians shouting “ghostwriter” from the rooftops of their rented penthouses. Last week Meek Mill claimed Drake has a ghostwriter and even though I love my non-threatening half negro from the North, I was not clutching my pearls at that revelation. Drake responded, so did the alleged ghostwriter and the rest is negroidian history… for now. Fast forward a week and now David Banner wants his coins from Lil Wayne! I mean, I guess? I grew up with Hip Hop. I’m even a bit snobby about it. I know that having a ghostwriter is the ultimate rappin’ faux pas, the worst thing you could accuse your rhyme foe of doing, but really? These dudes do not possess the prolific word skills of ANYONE’s “Top Five”. Meek and Drake are not capable for ether-ing each other and while it’s a bougie black person’s right of passage to pump Drake at all times, Lil Wayne’s raps kill braincells and gets you pregnant AT.THE.SAME.DAMN.TIME. So what are we really taumbout here?

Comments Off on Brewchies at the Movies: Generation One

Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 07-20-2015

We’re all looking to keep some extra coins in our pockets, right? We all need money for something. Whether it’s a necessity or a splurge, sometimes saving up for what you want can be tough, especially if you don’t come from a culture of savers. I had the chance to recently check out a new film that aims to reverse that trend. Generation One: The Search for Black Wealth is the latest documentary by Lamar and Ronnie Tyler, creators of the Black and Married with Kids website. The film tackles a subject many of us often find taboo to talk about in public: MONEY! Specifically, Generation One outlines practical steps that Black people need to take to ditch a consumer’s mindset and build a wealth legacy for future generations. That wealth legacy exists in other cultures and the lack of it is what forces many of us to have to start a Go Fund Me for funeral expenses or to go into deep debt to attend college.

This film breaks it all the way down, with notable quotables from the likes for Dr. Julianne Malveaux, Dr. Boyce Watkins, and radio host David Anderson who really steals the show with his in your face delivery. Take a look:

The Tylers have been on a mini-tour, screening the film in major cities this month. If you missed it, you can grab your copy here.

Comments Off on Channing Tatum Heals A Nation

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted on 07-07-2015

I nominate him for Knighthood… we don’t do that here in the US do we? Well we should start!

Channing Tatum is a GOTDAMN NATIONAL TREASURE!

As a currently slightly discouraged American… this world has been a little rough on us humans who believe in decency and kindness, lately.

This past weekend, though… I believe I have found the person that can bring together all the fighting factions: the Dolezal and her ancestors… the Mexicans and the Trump (nah eff Trump, drop him off in a hole somewhere.)

White Hayzeus in a thong hath brought us “Magic Mike XXL” and it is GOOD! NO seriously, IT IS! The makers of this here sequel listened to the randy masses. They got rid of that pesky plot crap full of seedy existential angst (“if the stripper p-pops alone, does his thong make a sound?”) from the first movie and replaced it with silliness, grinding (cause that’s what you’re paying for) and the dance!

So much dance and lifting and tossing about! Oh and bromance, because these are strippers with hearts of gotdamn gold!

They got rid of Matthew McConaughey who’s hot is still on layaway from his Oscar win. Jada Pinkett Smith joins the cast as his replacement, and dammit– I kinda love her. (Fish Mooney has been killing her acting lately!)

OK fine, you don’t trust me at my word and need some more info? Basically Channing Tatum aka Mike the Whittler of Ugly Furniture, who hails from the Magic Village of Spray Tan… rolls with his boisterous crew to a “stripper convention”. Hijinx ensue. Yep, that is the plot. Look, they know their audience.

They know I am a tired working woman, and don’t necessarily want to think deep ass thoughts all the time. I wanna see some asses wiggling…dip it low and pick it up slow, fellas! Nah, seriously there’s a whole thing about owning your sexuality and there is total body positivity and all that jazz, there is ZERO making fun of women in this movie…yadda yadda yadda… Hey, Joe Manganiello.

Stephen “Twitch” Boss

I mean they didn’t even bother to give the Stripper Convention a catchy name. They know what you’re here for, you know what you’re here for. Let’s not pretend. But wait there’s more, along the way they meet up with some Chocolaty DELICOUS grindy fellas for a grinderful time. Seriously, it’s a Brother Abpolooza. Just 30 minutes of Magic Mike are what Chocolate City tried to be.

I mean I guess…

The irony is, I LOATHE male strippers in real life. But if the slimy guy from my cousin’s bachelorette party looked like ANY of the fellas in this fine film, I’d stay stocked in dolla bills… ok maybe not Donald Glover. Seriously, I love Childish Gambino as much as anyone who’s your Auntie’s age, but still likes to know what the kids are listening too. But I’mma need that nerd to put his chest up.

Comments Off on Iggy Tried It. Britney Finished It.

Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 06-30-2015

Britney Spears is not here for Iggy Azalea’s shenanigans. Miss “Toxic” tossed a glittery bag full of shade at the Aussie rapper after Iggy not-so-subtly accused the singer (insert finger quotes) of not doing enough to promote their duet, “Pretty Girls.”

In a Twitter back and forth with her fans (do I need more finger quotes here?), the rapper (insert another set of finger quotes) said there wasn’t enough of a push for the song.