History-Changing Gay Relationship Began At A Restaurant Where Lesbians Met Discreetly

The epic relationship that made 84-year-old Edith Windsor
a gay rights hero is one of the greatest love stories ever.

Windsor
won a huge victory for gays after the Supreme Court struck
down the Defense of Marriage Act, which said the U.S. government
didn't recognize her marriage to another woman.

The relationship that led to that ruling began nearly 50 years
ago.

Windsor and the woman who became her wife, Thea Spyer, both
struggled to come to terms with being gay when they were coming
of age in the 1950s. As Windsor has said, "Nobody
wanted to be queer."

When she was 34, Windsor finally asked a friend to take her
someplace where she could meet women. Her friend brought her to a
casual Italian restaurant in the West Village called
Portofino, The New York Times reported.

Portofino wasn't an exclusively gay establishment, but gay ladies
went there to discreetly meet other lesbians on Friday nights.
Windsor and Spyer met there and then retreated to a friend's
apartment, where they danced until Windsor
wore a hole in her stocking.

The two women ended up being together for more than 40 years —
the vast majority of which they spent engaged to be married.
Windsor wore a pendant instead of an engagement ring because she
feared being out where she worked at IBM (which is now, like many
companies, gay-friendly).

They did not have the easiest life together.

Spyer, a psychologist, developed multiple sclerosis in 1977 and
eventually became paralyzed. It's clear from a documentary about
their relationship that they never stopped adoring each
other or having a lot of sex. Windsor also used to sit in
Spyer's wheelchair while she wheeled around to music, because
they never wanted to stop dancing.

After decades of being engaged, Spyer and Windsor finally got
married in Canada in 2007. Windsor dabbed at Spyer's eyes after
they exchanged vows.

When Spyer died two years later, Windsor got the estate tax bill
for what she'd inherited from her wife. She was enraged and,
unlike many plaintiffs,
sought out lawyers who would represent her fight to repeal
DOMA.

On Wednesday, the Supreme Court validated the legitimacy of her
relationship. Her epic relationship with Spyer was no longer, as
Ruth Bader Ginsburg put it, a "skim milk marriage."