Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Moving on

Life is normal again. I have a set routine, boring one. I know what I am going to do at what time. In my mind I always thought I was different from everyone else. I chose a career path people are scared to choose at a young age and without any support from anyone. The kind of risks I took at the beginning of my career at that age, if I think about it now, I don't think I would take the same decisions now. Or maybe I would.

Life is different from what it used to be then. With age, complications increase. We study hard, get a job to have a comfortable life, get married to have a support system, have kids to prepare for the future support, mostly we are unlucky as the spouse or the child/ren trouble us all the time, parents/in laws too in case of Indians. Why did we study hard for a comfortable life then? Is this life really comfortable? Is your spouse really providing you with the kind of support you wanted from him/her?

In some cases, people get tired and get divorced, in some cases they cheat on their partners, in some cases they continue living in misery. People who swore never to get married are changing nappies of their kids, those who wanted to get married at the first given opportunity have a very successful career. And there are some like me who write about these people.

What do we really want from life? And if it keeps changing, then why do we still continue living in the same old life that's not giving us any happiness? Yes easier said than done, I know. But why do we struggle so much through our life? From the time we are born, in school, college, career, family - everywhere we are made to compromise. Every time we are told that happiness lies in the next stage of life. And like everything else, that next never comes. You keep moving from one stage to another. You keep looking for that happiness. And you don't find it.

Funny how we realise that we were happy in the stage we left behind and not the one we are moving towards. Funny how we are not happy in the stage that looked so in the future and will look so again when it becomes the past. Is this the reason that the moment we think we have found the happiness in something in the present, we do not want to let go of it even though it starts causing us sadness and trouble after some time? Is this why people do not want to move on?

It's like, we have this in mind that if we let go of what made us happy at one point, we will never find another one? Maybe we have been brought up with the mindset that letting go is a sign of cowardice. Brave man fights his battle. We don't stop and see the consequences of our actions. We live with the same old values, some are good, while some are harmful. Some principles made sense when they came into existence. With time even they need to change. Being selfish is the key? Maybe. I was always told that you can be selfish so far as you are not being harmful to anyone. But how many times you have been the victim because others were selfish? If everyone behaves the same way then it's not really harming anyone and still being selfish. And happy. Right?

SG posted this comment on blog, but I pressed the delete button instead of publish. Here it is:

Letting go is not a sign of cowardice. In a few cases, it is that much hurt. In my life, I never hated any one except one person. Suppose he dies in front of me, and wants water, I will not help him and will have no remorse.

Made me smile reading this. Such thoughts cloud my mind all the time these days. While I am loving my new role as a mother, there's a part of me that I miss. Guess, that's life. You cant have it all and continue to move on!

Moving on is the best phase of life. It shows courage, strength and the willingness to face the unknown and the beauty once again. It doesnt mean you've given up. It just means its past and not worth your time and effort anymore.