Why not just banish fun, Baltimore?

I've been seeing an awful lot of Baltimore Grand Prix bashing in your newspaper from letter writers, calling the race a waste of time and money that could be better spent elsewhere. But I think we're looking at a small waste of taxpayer money when there is another sporting venue that is wasting far more of our scant resources — the Baltimore Orioles.

Honestly, does anyone even remember when this bunch of pathetic losers last won a World Series? These clowns have been wasting money, snarling traffic, and giving the city of Baltimore a black eye for decades! At least the Grand Prix made Baltimore look good in the eyes of the world. The Orioles have made our city a laughingstock.

I say let's start recouping some of the money this city has wasted on those loser Orioles for all these years. Send them packing and turn that big taxpayer boondoggle, Camden Yards, into something useful that will actually benefit the city. How about a homeless shelter?

Just think how many less fortunate Baltimoreans would benefit from that. Or even better, how about a drug treatment center? We're always hearing that Baltimore leads the nation in heroin addiction. Just imagine our civic pride when we unveil the new Camden Yards Methadone Treatment Facility. Now that's something we could be proud of!

In fact, why not get rid of all professional sports in Baltimore? Who needs to make our city look and feel good when there's so much misery we could focus on. Once we clear out those loser Orioles, we can get rid of auto racing, football, and of course the biggest drain of taxpayer money, horse racing. Then, once we've stamped out every last trace of civic pride, we can turn all of our tax dollars to feeding the indigent and scraping the dead bodies off the sidewalk. Now that's the Baltimore we all know and love!