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i may have fallen in love with someone else.

On Friday I visited my stylist for a seasonal highlight and trim session. I told him I wanted subtle ashy layers and about three inches chopped off for a more updated look. I’ll do something crazier in the summer. My phone started blowing up so much that I asked him to pause his work so I could see who was calling me. I figured someone died.

Scott had called me four times and sent me a text.

“Where are you?” he asked.

Scott wasn’t due back until the following week and I had just spoken to him the evening prior.

“A bit tied up at the moment. I’ll call you later,” I replied.

“I’m in the office. You don’t have any meetings or anything on your calendar at the moment so I’m a little confused as to where you are,” Scott said.

It’s like he knew I was standing there with foils in my head. I decided honestly was the best policy in this situation. No point in making up some elaborate story only to get caught later.

“I’m getting my hair done.”

“And you thought right now was a good time to do that?”

Before I could reply, “Yes,” Scott texted me again.

“When I need to get my hair cut, I go after work – not right in the middle of the day when people might potentially need me. I thought you’d make better decisions.”

I rolled my eyes. It was all so dramatic and unnecessary and typical Scott. I needed to apologize and grovel a little to make him happy.

“I’m sorry. I always get my hair done on a Friday in the middle of the day. I didn’t think it was a problem. If I would have known you were coming back today, I would’ve canceled my appointment. So sorry, Scott.”

I threw my phone back in bag and went back to the task at hand. I totally planned on going back to work after my hair appointment, but I didn’t get out of there until 6pm. So instead I texted Lexi to meet me at happy hour. We went to a bar in the Loop because she caught Chef Victor sending nudes to another girl and she wanted to meet new guys. My main concern is who wants to see Chef Victor’s nudes? He’s quite literally 80 pounds. His legs are probably the size of my arms.

The bar was packed and playing trap music. Lexi was salivating at all the suits over 6’0. Welcome back to the club. We got a little high top and ordered vegetarian tacos, sweet potato fries and a margarita pitcher. It didn’t take long for the boys to start flocking. Lexi hit off immediately with this startup guy who came over to our table with his startup friends all wearing button ups and khakis. You can always tell the people who work for startups. So business caj, emphasis on caj.

They talked us into going to the next bar with them. I hadn’t heard from Brady that he’d left work yet so I figured I could entertain these losers for a little while. All of them were trying to talk to me of course since I looked single. I just kept ordering food and drinks to keep myself busy. Finally I texted Brady the name of the bar and, “Come here now.”

He responded, “I didn’t plan on doing anything tonight since we have that thing tomorrow.”

What the fuck ever, dude. And I don’t know, I was a little irritated that he didn’t text me to ask to hang out or ask me to come over or anything. Sometimes it’s like if I don’t ask to hang out, then we won’t hang out.

So I threw my phone in my bag and decided not to text him again. By that point, I probably should’ve gone home, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could have fun without Brady. But I wasn’t having fun – the boys were boring and Lexi was being annoying.

Randomly she leaned over to me and said, “Reese, do you think Brady could get me Adderall?”

“Ugh, why?” I said, judging her.

“Hey, if you need Adderall, I’ve got you covered,” one of the guys said.

“That would be amazing! I really just need to be able to drive home later,” Lexi exclaimed excitedly.

The guy pulled a little baggie of pills out of his coat pocket and then proceeded to spill them all over the floor. He and Lexi scrambled to pick them up and I rolled my eyes and continued drinking. I remember Lexi and the guy talking A LOT like to the point where I got annoyed and walked away from them. They wouldn’t shut up and they were talking about literally nothing at all. I continued drinking like a fish, but really no more than usual.

I woke up at 9:00am in my bed in all my clothes. I felt like complete and utter ass. It took me a while to find my phone which was in my purse which was under my bathroom sink. I was supposed to go volunteering with Brady and he’d texted me a couple times.

“Are you up yet?”

“I can come and get you when you’re ready.”

And finally after I didn’t respond, he called me at 8:15. I texted back, “Sorry, I overslept. I’ll be there soon.”

I frantically jumped in the shower and got dressed. Brady had invited me to the volunteer event and I didn’t want to disappoint him by not showing up. And it was important to him and he wanted me there. I couldn’t miss it. I sat in front of toilet for a little while because I felt like I was going to vom and I had an awful headache. I chugged a bottle of water and sat my ass back in front of the toilet, but nothing would come up.

By the time I arrived, Brady hadn’t replied back to me. There was a lady checking the volunteers in and she seemed happy to see me and not upset that I was late. She was so nice.

“Just follow the hallway until you see the easel outside the double doors. Go on in,” she told me.

As I walked away, I saw a big table buffet set up filled with bagels, muffins, fresh fruit, etc that looked like it hadn’t been touched. In my mad dash to get out of the house, I hadn’t eaten anything and I realized that food would help my tummy.

“Can I have some food?” I asked the nice girl.

She must have seen the bags under my eyes or smelled the booze seeping out of my pores because she hesitated a moment before saying, “Um, sure. Help yourself.”

I scarfed down an everything bagel – dry, with nothing on it – then walked down there. The job was to pack food for needy families so we were working in a food bank warehouse full of food. I walked in and saw shelves and shelves of bread and canned goods. I started walking down the main aisle looking for Brady. There seemed to be a lot of volunteers there so I was surprised to find him alone in a smaller aisle with Sydney. It looked like they were pretending to be working, but were actually just talking.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I overslept,” I told Brady.

He looked over at me as I approached them. “Hey! I was wondering what happened to you.”

Sydney stepped from behind Brady wearing compression pants, sneakers, a super high ponytail and bright lip gloss. She smiled at me, but said nothing.

“Are you hungover?” Brady asked.

“I feel like I got drugged,” I replied and until I said it out loud, I didn’t realize it was true. I felt worse than my typical hangover and all of our drinks were just sitting out in the open. Who knows what could have happened.

Brady gave me a skeptical look. “Really?”

Sydney was still standing there looking at me and I stared at her blankly for about twenty seconds until she got the hint and turned around back to the food.

I turned and walked away then stood in the lobby area for a minute while I called an Uber to go back home. I fell asleep in the Uber and the driver had to wake me up when we got to my apartment.

A little while later, I woke up because someone was knocking on my door really hard. I was back asleep in my bed and I’d pulled the comforter all the way over my head so I could barely breathe. The knocking had become a part of my dream about being locked in one of the shopping malls back home.

I groaned as I walked to the door. My head was pounding and I felt even worse than before. Brady was standing there in running pants with shorts over them, workout shoes, a hoodie and a jacket. I couldn’t remember if it was the same thing he was wearing earlier, but it seemed like he had just gotten finished working out. Maybe with Sydney and her compression pants.

“Reese, what the hell? Are you okay? I’ve been calling you for an hour,” Brady said as a greeting.

“I told you I didn’t feel good,” I said back. “Where’s Sydney?”

“Home? I don’t know,” he said. “Are you sick? What’s wrong?”

I explained to Brady what happened, but then concluded with “I think I’m just hungover,” instead of telling him my theory. He already doesn’t like Lexi, I definitely didn’t need him thinking she was taking me somewhere where people might drug me. Brady suggested we go and grab food and even though I looked like I’d just climbed out of a sewer, I brushed my hair, put on a beanie and we went. I had my mind set on a big plate of pancakes with a side of bacon, but I found out that it was almost 5pm and breakfast wasn’t an option.

After a sandwich, greasy fries and a large Coke, I felt a little better, but went back to Brady’s house and watched movies on Netflix in bed all night.

After that day, I haven’t seen Brady at all. It’s been over two weeks. I have been crazy busy with work, but I’ve actually really been enjoying it. Scott and I had to go to LA last week for work. It was exciting because it was a brand new deal and it was nice to get out of Chicago and have an excuse to be in LA.

On our first night there, we decided to grab dinner. We went to this ramen and sushi place and ordered a lot of food and a bottle of wine. I was excited and happy about work, but not excited about Brady. It really felt like he was deliberately avoiding me and I couldn’t understand why. He went out of town one weekend then was back for a few days before having to travel three days for work. But during the days between his travel, he didn’t try to hang out with me at all. I obviously stopped asking him to hang out too and because we are both so stubborn, we haven’t seen each other. I told all of this to Scott.

“Well, I don’t think he’s met someone else. I don’t think that’s the problem. From what I know of Brady, if he didn’t want to be with you then he wouldn’t,” Scott said. “I think he’s punishing you for something.”

“Like what?” I exclaimed.

“That, I don’t know. But I do think you are correct that it is deliberate. People find the time for things they want. I don’t believe for one second that he’s too busy for you,” Scott said.

Preston found Sydney’s Instagram (which is so impressive because I’ve been looking for her for so long), but her page is obviously private. And I want to know what’s going on in her life and to see if it has anything to do with Brady, but I’m not about to follow her. So Preston created a fake profile and we are waiting for her to accept. He also found out what gym she goes to and what workout class she takes and it just so happens to be right across from one of our favorite bars so one night we staked out to see if we would see her and Brady. It was completely psychotic, I know, but when you are bored, lonely and stubborn that’s what you do.

We were on our third martini when Sydney finally emerged from the building. I squealed and pointed and leaned close to the window to see if Brady followed behind her. I figured they are workout buddies. She was wearing tight yoga pants and a sports bra with a jacket tied around her waist. I could see her abs. And a bunch of other girls followed behind her and no sign of Brady at all. I watched her as she walked to her VW Beetle and drove away. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. If Brady isn’t spending all of his time with Sydney then who is he spending it with? My brain hurts at the thought of having to figure out who else he knows.

In the mean time, I may have fallen in love with someone else. I’ll tell y’all about that later.

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47 thoughts on “i may have fallen in love with someone else.”

Mandysays:

Sorry but Brady’s distance is totally on you this time. He finally invited you to do something and be more involved and you completely bailed. Not only would that hurt him, it probably also made him look bad that you failed in front of Sydney and a charity that you were supposed to help out. If I were Brady I think I would actually be downright pissed off at you. Showing up drunk/hungover to somewhere you are volunteering and then eating their food and leaving is pretty effed up to me. Normally I am team Reese but not this time. I think you need to get your shit together and stop prioritizing drinking over everything in your life, unless you want to remain the party girl.

I was really happy things were going well for you but I feel like this one post wiped out all the progress.

Even though it seems like it, I’m not trying to be miserable or judging. I just think you need realize at this point the issues in your life are because of your choices. I’m still rooting for you but you sure don’t make it easy.

I agree with this 100%. Reese you couldn’t even make an effort to help a charity. You don’t care about anything Brady is interested in and quite frankly I think you just want to be in a relationship but don’t love Brady. Second when you’re in a senior role and your manager is away you don’t leave in the middle of the day to get your hair done. What kind of work ethic is that?

Actually since you asked I volunteer at both the Ronald McDonald House and the food pantry once per month. It feels wonderful to give back and get to know others who have lost everything because of the economy or huge medical bills, interact with families who have a terminally ill child, it makes you appreciate what you have more.

This is tough. I think the hair thing isn’t a huge deal if Reese is otherwise super on top of her work. Sometimes people do those things. I can see why Scott would be upset though. Its tricky but I don’t think its the end of the world.

I do think you should have been there for Brady and should have stayed longer. Also, I don’t love Lexi. I don’t think its stellar that she was going to pop some Adderall so she could drive. I adore you Reese, you know that, I just think there are some lessons to learn here which happens to the best of us.

Honestly Reese, if you feel guilty that’s on you. Getting upset because someone doesn’t condone your irresponsibility and then turning their response to your question about how often they volunteer shows how immature you really are. Since you volunteer for the feeling and not to brag (which for the record isn’t bragging but responding to a question posed), when was the last time you volunteered? You’re always getting upset at Brady for something or the other but this time you are 1000% in the wrong. You knew how important this was to him, he reiterated that when you tried to get him to come out the night before but you took that as rejection and instead drank the night away. It’s flat out irresponsible. You didn’t make an effort. What’s worse is you showed up, ate the food, talked or rather yelled about being drugged and then left.

What would you do if you had an important event and Brady did the same? You made him look terrible at an event that matters to him. Alcohol was more important that helping the less fortunate or following through with a commitment you made.

Spending your money on alcohol or clothes and shoes is fine but there are more important things in life. As you mature you will see that the latest shoes or bag is immaterial.

I volunteered two weeks ago and I’m also volunteering this week. I’m still donating to a Houston hurricane relief charity monthly. I’m not asking you to condone anything, I know I was wrong, but trying to make me feel bad that I chose to drink instead help needy people is not your decision to judge. I’m not obligated to do anything for anyone. also, I didn’t yell and no one even heard what I said, probably not even Sydney.

What is up with Brady? He sounds so distant and like he doesn’t even care about the ‘relationship’ or what’s left of it anymore. It’s just a sinking ship at this point. Forget the volunteer event, you tried. I’m more surprised that Sydney was there too. Did he mention that she was going? I agree that inviting your girlfriend to something should be a given, not some kinda privilege like he’s finally opening up to you so feign interest. That’s stupid .-. This isn’t a budding relationship, they’ve been dating for awhile. What is with the he’s finally opening up to you so push harder? It seems like Reese has been doing all the work and putting up with a lot of shit from him and now he’s even distancing himself? I’m angry for you Reese and I hope you really did fall in love with someone else.

I have to agree with Mandy, I volunteer on a weekly basis with the Animal shelter, it’s early in the morning and it is important to me. I tend to plan my night out before so that I can be prepared to give my time. I would be royally miffed if the person I was seeing behaved that way when I invited them to something that was important to me; especially when I vouched for them and probably got an exception for them to come volunteer with out going through the orientation or training.

I don’t think its a given that you get invited everywhere, generally there is some communication about expectations on an ongoing basis and it doesn’t sound like you and Brady have those.

If you are in love with someone else, have the conversation with Brady and let the relationship go.

It’s hard to be team Reese with this post, your vanity is clouding your decisions.

If my boyfriend did what you did to Brady at the volunteer event, I would be super pissed. I take my job super seriously and your significant other is a direct reflection of you and having them show up looking hungover, saying they think they got drugged and leave is super embarrassing and concerning. Brady was obviously worried about you since checked up on you after. I think you really need to think about all of this from his perspective. On top of all of that, you stayed out drinking because you were bitter about the fact that he wouldn’t meet you at the bar. I think Scott is right about Brady punishing you and I think he has every right to. What you pulled was super selfish…

Obviously there are a lot of things that happened and conversations between the two of you that I don’t understand so I can’t say anything about your relationship overall but in this instance, I think that if the roles were reversed, you would be on Brady’s side too.

I’m worried about how everyone is glossing over you potentially being drugged! Please be careful when you are out, especially around people who indulge. It may not have been deliberate, but you did show a few signs of either blacking put or being drugged, or both. I’m so sorry that happened. Please be more careful, especially with Lexi and her strange men!

First off, I have been reading your blog for forever! Please don’t stop writing ever, lol!
Second, OK, you left the volunteer event. You were not feeling well and probably wouldn’t have been as helpful as you normally could have been. I think you made the right choice to leave.
I feel people forget this is a blog and you are choosing to share bits of you with the world. Judgment happens, but what do people get out of judging you on a platform where they don’t really know you? My point is, opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. You make the calls in your life and have your shit together. Keep doing you! 😘
Again, love all your posts!

For the record I am not judging Reese for drinking/partying, nor for how often she volunteers or donates. Those are personal choices and to each their own. People contribute to this world in so many ways. All I was trying to convey was that from the outside looking in (in my opinion that is) that a lot if the negative that happens is due to choices Reese makes.
I totally agree that Brady has been shady as hell and Reese shouldn’t have to ask him to be invited. However if Reese does things like this often where she bails, arrives hung over, or causes drama – it’s easy to see why Brady doesn’t want her there. If things were reversed and had Brady showed up drunk at her work event a few weeks ago, and caused stuff with Scott or was rude to her co-workers Reese would be embarrassed. Why doesn’t he get that same consideration? I’m not touching the Sydney thing because I’d feel angry that she was there too.
A lot of things in this post point to Reese not thinking about others. You can’t expect people to prioritize you in their life when you don’t do the same. Brady is guilty of the same, but two wrongs just mean they end up hurting each other.
I don’t think she is to blame for everything wrong that happens but it’s easy to see why some problems arise.

Just my two cents. I’m not a therapist and my life is far from perfect. In fact there is a ton of ways I wish I was more like Reese. It was just that this post was a giant step backwards –then again maybe it will be the thing that causes some major change that leads to bigger and better things.

you and Brady are toxic! How can yoy be in a committed relationship and not talk for days or see each other?! It’s like you both want what each other has (money, vanity, etc) but don’t realize that your relationship isn’t meant to be… you are both extremely jealous and mistrusting of each other, don’t care about what is important to the other person, and instead of talking about issues you ignore them… you are both spoiled little rich kids and it’s time you both grew up and dealt with life… stop ignoring the inevitable and break up – just because he has a good job and fancy things maybe you need someone who isn’t filthy rich to buy you new handbags when your upset but someone who actually treats you half decent and cares about you… stop being so vain… money shouldn’t be everything, but clearly it is to you.

I love your blog Reese, and I am ALWAYS rooting for you… you deserve to be happy, and it shouldn’t be that Brady acts distant as a way to “punish you.” No one deserves that.. you have a great career, an apartment that you love, etc… now you need someone who loves you the way you want and deserve.. with the right person you won’t have these games or hoops to go through… relationships are tough, but both parties should always want to fix it… you just deserve to be happy

I don’t understand why Brady doesn’t just communicate with you like a normal person. He chooses to ignore you which is childish and rude. If he’s upset then he should take the time to sit down and talk to you. It sucks that you couldn’t stay for the entire volunteer day but at least you made an effort and showed up. Not sure why Sydney was there. Its weird that Brady didn’t mention that she would be there. Is it just me or does Scott seem to be clingy and scolding you all the time? Seems like he treats you differently then Monica which would annoy me. I’m excited to hear about the new guy you might be in love with 🙂

I have been reading since the beginning and I absolutely adore you Reese! You make mistakes but who doesn’t? I think it has actually shaped you into a more mature woman. I do see some immense progress with how you handle situations with Brody but I have to agree with some other commenters here and that showing up hungover and leaving right away is a big step back. I would be super embarrassed if my boyfriend did that or if I did that to him. I think you should have apologized for that – HOWEVER, he is also acting very immature by distancing himself. If he is upset with you over the volunteer event thing, that’s ridiculous and immature as well. He needs to talk to you and communicate more. Just ignoring you isn’t right. I hope you guys can talk and work things out – I’m one of the few that’s still team Brady (even though he has some major stuff he needs to work on)

The idea that Brady is somehow punishing Reese is a total assumption until she speaks with him and determines if there is any truth to it. He could be extremely busy or he could simply not want to do everything with her (which would be reason 405 to end the relationship, btw). I just keep reading comments from people somehow blaming him for doing something that is not necessarily fact.

I have been reading your blog from the beginning and I love it.
I hope what I’m trying to say doesn’t come off as cold…sorry(in advance)

I was sad when you and Brady broke up and am happy you are back together…
That being said, from what you tell us, it really seems like you don’t even want to be with each other. You treat each other like crap, yes there will always be good times and bad times in a relationship but all the time.. come on. If the roles were reversed, you would be livid about the whole showing up late and leaving bit with the charity.

Although he was probably upset, he still checked on you because you told him you thought you got drugged, once he knew you were okay then he showed you he was upset.

Also, since you and Brady are together, how are you “in love” with someone else now? Are they someone new, someone who was in your life before and always been around. I know you will explain in your next post but it seems off to me.. Can’t wait to hear about it though!

I feel like you and Brady have really grown apart since your last break-up and from the way you describe the relationship, it just sounds so forced. I think it’s hard for both of you to let go of the relationship because you obviously care about each other, but at the same time, it doesn’t sound like you two have much in common anymore and your communication hasn’t improved at all – if anything, it’s gotten worse. Neither of you seemed to have made much of an effort to work on the problems in your relationship. You really just need to decide to commit to making it work and really see it through, or just let go. And when I say let go, I mean stop seeing, texting, calling, or having sex with Brady. If you are breaking up, you need to let him go and move on. Good luck!