Welcome to my bloggy home. Here, I strive to make you laugh like never before, cry warmhearted tears, get silly, and be naughty. Together, we'll uncover morsels of sweetness in the light and dark. You'll leave craving chocolate. That's a given. I'm a bad influence. Oy vey, am I a bad influence! {But I do recommend fair trade and organic varieties.} Please enjoy the samples, and may you fast become addicted. I hope you'll return again and again. Then once more.

One Rainbow Tribe in an Orange World (but only for now).

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Four years ago, several blog friends told me I should write a book. At the same time, I was quietly planning one. That one, though, has my silly dating ads in it, and that one is in-the-works. For my first novel, I wanted to add a more meaningful book to the world of literature. Years later, when I finally had this story together, Bryan Pedas insisted on the perfect cover. I'm sure you'll agree, he created just that. (It wasn't easy, not even for Bryan. Brandon and Bryan's blog post explains. Oops, look for their upcoming post. =))

And now, dear world, please welcome Woman on the Verge of Paradise!

Book Dedication:To the Readers of my blog, Life by Chocolate,

You have been unfaltering in your loyalty, caring,

encouragement, hilarity, and playfulness.

And so, my dear sillies,

This one's for you.

Lovingly.

She's 4 feet, 8 inches of heartfelt ferocity, and nothing can stop this post-pubescent spitfire from claiming her fairytale--not jarring tragedy, not penile incompetence, not even the explosive demise of a new marriage.

Please return on Monday, July 27th, to see the real cover for Woman on the Verge of Paradise, as I launch the baby. That is, as I debut my book and launch dear Peggy Sue back to my friends, Brandon and Bryan. I'll miss her. Thanks, guys, for the loner. She made for a true spitting-image!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

I gotta tell ya, folks, this Peggy Sue Comparison Game is much funner than a blog tour any day. And I didn't expect my book-cover photo session to be therapeutic at all, much less incredibly exhilarating.

Here's another moment of my chocolate drunkenness, during which it's challenging to decipher which is me and which is Peggy Sue.*

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Bryan Pedas readily agreed to design my book cover. [By the way, everyone I've referred to A Beer for the Shower has thanked me. I can't say enough about Brandon and Bryan; they're incredibly kindhearted, besides being creative geniuses. Plus Peggy Sue - a special needs goat with an orthopedic shoe - administers their blog...What could possibly go wrong?]

I had one favorite photo for the cover; no others would do. Yet it posed challenges. It was cropped horizontally, not vertically; there was very little room for text, and more. Any lesser person or goat would've said, "Baah and f*k you!" But Bryan thoughtfully asked to see all the photos he had to work with, while intent on using my favorite.

"Well, okay," I told him, "but I'm embarrassed. I look like that special needs goat of yours. What's his name?"

"Peggy Sue," he replied.

I further explained that, by this time in the photo shoot, after crossing the street, and after a few chocolate blemishes on my formerly elegant wedding dress, I got drunk on chocolate - so drunk that I splashed my neck with it while aiming for my head.

After Bryan got a healthy laugh (infused with love, of course) at the photos, he promised not to show anyone. But I couldn't resist. Peggy Sue and I bore such a striking resemblance, Bryan agreed to do me yet another favor and provide artistic proof.

So here we go with the first cover-photo-reject comparison quiz question.

Stay tuned for Question 2 on Wed, Ques 3 on Friday, and the real thing on Monday, July 27th.

I can't believe I'm actually going to press "Publish." Oh wait, Peggy Sue already did. She was aiming for "Delete," though. Sorry, Peggy Sue. Our photos have gone live for all the world to see. Please, oh please, may this not go viral.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Nervous that she'd know think I'm unwell, I spewed my cover concept to the main photographer, "I'll be wearing my elegant wedding dress, but with one obvious chocolate smudge. My book is called Woman on the Verge of Paradise. So, it's like everything's perfect, almost."

"I got it," Michelle said, and I went to change into my dress.

I'd picked up a four-pack of Dollar Store pudding the evening before (and ate two of them. Not bad at all, for a quarter each!), and a chocolate-chip mocha whatever latte tall or espresso grande short frapacinorother medium with whipped cream and a long wait but my name spelled correctly for only $6, a few doors down. Plus a pack of diamond candy rings for fun, and because I never had one before.

The fun began, with Michelle's encouragement. Gulp. I smudged my dress the first time. [The hardest part was not eating the chocolate.]

It got easier, as I added to the smudge, then added more smudges...Then went outside and I grabbed my drink for more photos...

But the fun didn't really begin until we crossed a busy street - me in my chocolate wedding dress, accompanied now by two photographers and the influence of Bryan and Brandon's (and blogland's) beloved Peggy Sue...please return for part III.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Months ago, I set-out to create a memorable book cover for Woman on the Verge of Paradise. My strategy included these ingredients:

some form of chocolate, the darker the better;

my elegant 8-year old wedding dress, which still fit if I held my breath indefinitely and ignored the fact that the back snap kept popping open;

a professional photography studio in Sacramento, CA;

the creative genius of Bryan Pedas, one-half of the creative genius bro-duo at A Beer for the Shower. Oh, and one more thing...

Peggy Sue. In case you haven't met her, Peggy Sue is Brandon and Bryan's CEO: a mentally challenged goat with an orthopedic shoe. Only in hindsight did I realize Peggy Sue had influenced my book-cover photo-shoot. She and I would be like celibacy lookalikes, like DeVito and Schwarzenegger, Donald Trump and Miley Cyrus, Richard Simmons and a head of broccoli...We're talking kin-dread spirits. And I'll prove it to you in upcoming posts. For now, let's welcome Miss Peggy Sue. Peggy limps onto the stage with a lengthy, slobbery, "BAAAH!"

Thank you, B&B, for pushing her out of the helicopter. I don't even think she noticed there was no parachute. I'll kick her back your way after she assists with some demos. Actually, we could use her in CA. Drought and all. We haven't seen this much fluid in a long time. She really is special.

Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen, for a series of cover-reject photos.