Previously known as "caloriesandcoffee.com."
I am on a quest to change my life by losing 100 pounds and becoming healthy and fit. My plan involves counting calories with My Fitness Pal, keto and working out. I'm not striving for skinny, I'm striving for fit!

beat my "no cheating" record of 199 days (preferably stay "no cheating" for the entire year)

make one new low carb/keto recipe a week

try an exercise class or a new workout once a month

learn to meditate

let things go and breathe

look for the positives in every situation instead of the negatives

be my own guru

Also, I've decided that tomorrow I'm going to restart My Fitness Pal from Day 1 because it's the easiest way for me to keep track of all my days on track and I want to start my weekly count over again tomorrow as well, kind of take 2018 as a whole new beginning for everything!

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Of course yesterday was the day too along with the day before that and the day before that, but today is REALLY the day to get back on the low carb/keto track and I finally feel ready after a 6-day carb feast.

I know the first 3 days will be the worst but I'm ready and I'm actually looking forward to them because that will tell me that I'm doing it right. I also made sure there's nothing carby left in the house for me to eat and I'm not going to the store any time soon so I'm good there.

And today I actually feel ready. I'm not trying to convince myself (or any of you) that I am and I'm not just saying it while dreaming of carbs. I just finally feel ready to get back to it and to give up the simple carbs and sugars for good because, obviously, my body and my head can NOT handle cheat days. At all.

I have plans to try at least one new low carb/keto recipe a week and to make my food plan slightly healthier with more real food and less protein bars and shakes. That will also help me get a variety of veggies and keep me from getting bored with what I'm eating.

I also had plans to stat working out today but right now I'm dealing with a high pain day and generally feeling like crap so we'll see.

But the most important thing is to get back on track with the no cheating. Everything else is secondary to that!

Thursday, December 28, 2017

So, four pounds up this week. Considering how things have been going, it's not surprising and a big portion of that is water weight anyway. And my short-term goal is now back to 160 lbs.

I'm still struggling with sugar and carbs and I'm taking one last day to eat a few of my favorite carby foods and starting fresh as of tomorrow with absolutely NO cheat days planned at all.

I realize it may seem counterintuitive to do it this way but that's how I started the last time. I took one day, enjoyed my favorites and then went ahead with no cheating for almost 200 days so that's how I'm doing it again and this time I have a new goal to beat... I need to not cheat for more than 199 days lol.

I also plan to start working out this week. Right now the plan is for Saturday, probably at home, and I'll be doing my back protecting weight training workout. It's ready to go and trainer approved and since my back seems to be in a good place right now, I think I'm ready to get back to it!

As I wrote earlier in this blog, I learned a lot of lessons this past week on what my body (and mind) can and can not handle so I know how to go forward from here.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

I thought I could handle it. I thought I had it under control. I thought, what's one day... I've gone 199 days with no cheating, I can handle one day, easy!

I was wrong.

The cheat day itself seemed to go well. I ate what I wanted (out of the things I had planned), didn't binge and I felt good so I got all proud of myself... you guys read my blog post.

Yesterday was hard, I'm not going to lie. I held somewhat firm (I did eat extra stuff but I made sure I could fit it in, but it was still hard when all my brain could focus on was leftovers).

Then came today. I started the day with healthy, low carb food and then suddenly, somewhere around lunchtime, I started eating leftovers and didn't stop until... well, there was nothing left over anymore.

It was like the calories and macros disappeared and all there was, was delicious, high sugar, high carb, yummy, yummy food... bread, more tiramisu, chocolate, pie, more bread... I'm not even going to list it all but sufficed to say, there's nothing left and I feel incredibly sick.

It was like another creature took over my body and mind until all the food was gone.

So I have learned my lesson. Me having a high carb/sugar cheat day is like an alcoholic having a bottle of wine for Christmas dinner. It just can't happen.

I can NOT handle it and now I know I can not handle it.

From now on, whatever kind of cheat food I may want to have, I either have to find and make a low carb version of it or pick something else. Not even one cheat day can happen from now on. I know this now and I accept it.

I'm not going to beat myself up about this and I'm not going to make myself feel bad. I tried it, I couldn't handle it, and I know it now. I'm going to look at this as an important lesson learned and not as some kind of failure.

Tomorrow I get back on track and start my 30-day count over fresh. I now know that the next couple of days are going to be very, very hard for me but I've done this before and I can do it again.

Monday, December 25, 2017

Wow! So today I hit 200 days of low carb/keto with one cheat day (yesterday no less).

First off, I still feel great from the cheat day. I had no carb/sugar hangover when I woke up and I'm right back on the low carb track today! So, back to the 200 days!

I am impressed but not surprised that I got to this place. Once I had my 100 days down, I knew I could keep going for another hundred and that one cheat day was very planned out and definitely enough to keep me satisfied for many more months to come!

Sunday, December 24, 2017

So, I had my first cheat day in 199 days of low carb/keto (tomorrow is day 200 and I'll have a post on that tomorrow as well) and, all in all, it went far better than I expected!

I had a little bit of everything I planned to have... our typical Christmas Chinese food (a day early because we're getting hit with yet another snow storm tonight and into tomorrow), some really good chocolate, some really amazing bread and some tiramisu plus little bits of and pieces of random food.

I did not go crazy and eat everything in sight. In fact, I didn't eat everything of anything that I had and I ended up having a really reasonable portion of the tiramisu and had leftover Chinese Food that I have no more interest in and lots, and I mean, lots of great chocolate left over.

I didn't stuff myself until I became sick, I didn't have two bites of bread and eat everything carby in the house, I didn't get nearly as sick as I afraid I would and my addiction is still under control, as in, I don't even want anything that's still left over.

Will I be tempted to eat any of these things tomorrow? I seriously doubt it. I'm actually looking forward to going back to my normal low carb/keto food plan!

Yes, it was a lot of fun to eat whatever I felt like eating, at whatever time, with no regard for macros or calories, but I definitely don't want a second day of it. It was fun, it was slightly exciting and now it's done. I didn't feel deprived by limiting my choices at all and I don't feel deprived knowing it will be still be here tomorrow but I won't be eating any of it, not even after looking at the all the leftovers. I just don't want any more of it and that's a freaking amazing feeling.

Of course, I may feel differently tomorrow but even if I do, it's right back to low carb for me!

I actually want to go back to the calories and macros. Yes, I definitely needed a break from it but I guess all I needed was this short, 1-day break and I'm looking forward to just being back to normal.

I also have absolutely no plans for another cheat day for a long, long time to come, maybe next Christmas, maybe sooner, but not for a very long time.

I may be singing a different tune tomorrow with a carb and sugar "hangover" but I'm hoping for the best here.

So, I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas Eve and I'll have new posts tomorrow!!

Thursday, December 21, 2017

For the first in the 28 weeks that I have been doing low carb/keto without cheating I have not lost weight.

I tried to convince myself that I would be okay with stalling because it was bound to happen but my attitude this morning did not reflect that and I have some serious thinking to do about not just my attitude but my entire approach to this weight loss and how I live my life.

Today, it was suggested to me by several people who I trust, admire and listen to (most of the time) that I need to take a step back and look at (and be grateful for) what I have accomplished so far in my journey, to be happy with me and to accept and love myself as I am. That I've made huge strides in the last six months and that I'm not in a sprint to lose this weight, this isn't a diet and there's no being "done." This is a marathon and an entire life change and my happiness can not and should not be based on the number that shows up on the scale.

I agree with all of that and I needed to hear it but it may take me a while to get my head around the whole idea of it. I mean, mentally I get it and I agree but emotionally it will take some work to not let my happiness rest on what the scale shows me.

So what have I accomplished since I started losing weight and, especially, in the last 28 weeks?

I've lost 70.4 pounds total

I am stronger, faster and more capable of holding down a workout (excluding back issues)

I'm off my cholesterol meds completely

my headaches and fibro flares are much less frequent

I sleep better and don't nap anymore

I have an amazing amount of energy

all of my psych meds have been lowered

I'm wearing clothes I haven't been able to wear in many, many years

I'm happier and I smile more

I look forward to working out

I'm confident in my ability to create and run a workout (or many lol) and I enjoy doing it

I can control my cravings

I stopped binging

I don't emotionally eat anymore

food is not my therapist, it's just food

I believe I can accomplish what I set my mind too

And those are some pretty great accomplishments!

On another topic, my freaking back went out yet again, this morning, in the same spot as the last two times in the last week. I'm in a lot of pain and I honestly have no idea where my workouts are going to go from here. I'll see my doctor in just under a week but I need to get by until then and, right now, I need to focus on getting my back healthy and strong and not worry about "getting in shape." Once again, something I have to look at in a different light and something that will take some serious mental work.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep working on mental health and attitude while sticking to the same general food plan. I know I'm not done with the weight loss yet because I, at least, want to get to a healthy weight for my height, but I am know I need to step back from obsessing so I'm going to keep doing what I have been doing while focusing on making my diet more healthy and varied and not making that number the highest priority of whether or not I'm being successful.

I get my one feast day on Christmas Eve and I'm greatly looking forward to that but my biggest goal right now, outside of the mental work I have to do, is to find a way to function with whatever this back injury is.

I started this journey not just to lose weight but to get healthy and I'm slowly getting there, but there's still a lot of mental and emotional work to be done.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

So this is an update kind of post on all sorts of things, mostly to do with workouts and food..

1) I seem to be somewhat stuck with my weight. I'm trying not to obsess about it because I knew it would start to really slow down (if not stop) for a while, so I guess I'll take what I can get and only complain if there's a gain of some kind.

2) My back went out again yesterday, in the exact same place at on Saturday, so I'm being very careful with it, which led me to change up my workouts again. I did a lot (and I mean a LOT of research on how to deal with the back while still reaching my workout goals) and I discovered that

Pilates, yoga and barre are really good for strengthening core and back even with a bad back as long as you're careful and, like I posted last week (or the week before), I have access to many DVD's for all these things and I enjoy them.

I don't NEED weight machines at the gym to protect my back, there's ways to protect it as home and still work out which is really good because with my schedule for the next two weeks and other stuff going on, I may have a hard time getting there. I'm basically taking the gym month by month right now.

I can find modifications and exercises that will specifically protect my back while still allowing me to work on weight/strength training which is my favorite workout to do

the best cardio for me right now may just be walking!

So I took my 6-week Upper/Lower Weight Training Body Plan and I went through it exercise by exercise, looking up each one and either finding a safer back replacement or a modification form of it to create a new 6-week Upper/Lower Weight Training Workout that is specifically made to keep my back as safe as possible while helping me build strength in both the back and the core, as well as all other muscles.

It's created now (in big part thank to my amazingly patient trainer!!) and ready to go as soon as the current pain settle down some, hopefully by next week. Right now I'm planning for 1 day a week of pilates, yoga or barre, whichever my body seems to want, depending on how I feel. This plan can also easily be converted for the gym so I can do it at home or the gym, no problem, it's just depends on how I feel, what the weather is like and what my schedule looks like!

I also want to start with 10,000 steps again because that may be my best option for safe cardio for now when I'm at home. There's also great cardio variety at the gym but, at the current moment, slow walking is probably best.

3) Plans for my Christmas feast day may be a day sooner than originally planned because, looking at the current weather forecast, Christmas day is promising a wintry mix of snow and ice while Christmas eve looks good (we'll need to go out to get the Chinese food and I'm not risking it in bad weather!)

This actually works out well because Dmitri will be home Christmas Eve and working Christmas Day and, because Christmas Day is actually 200 days of low carb, that would be the perfect place to pick up with low carb after my one day of freedom and decadence, but I'm not making any final decisions until we get closer to the date!

I think that's about all I have for now. I'm just really looking forward to starting my new workout plan already and for my back to stop going out!!!

Saturday, December 16, 2017

So my back went out today, badly. I felt like I had a knife stuck into the lower, right side of my back and I could barely lift my right arm.

What was I doing to throw it out at the time? I was freaking paying for groceries!!! WTF!!

In any case, after Advil, Tylenol and ice, I'm in slightly less pain but no less pissed off that it went out for no reason at all and I made an executive decision about my exercise plan... I'm going back to the gym.

The reason for this is simple, right now, with the way my back has behaved all week, the safest form of exercise for me is weight machines because they protect my back so that's what I'm going to start with.

Plus, you guys know how much I love the gym and how much I've gone back and forth about keeping it and not just working out at home. At this time we can afford to keep it (for now anyway) and I miss it and I desperately need to get away from all the stress in my life and have some me time (and the gym is my favorite place to do that... go figure).

My plan is still Upper/Lower Day workouts but for the next 6 weeks (or as long as I need it to be), when I'm at the gym, I'm sticking with machines. I don't even have to create a new plan because I have one already so as soon as my back settles down a little, I'm going to the gym! After about 6 weeks I'll add in cables but I may keep free weights at home and still continue with once a week gentle yoga or something. Just do the best of both worlds and not worry about how often I go. The big thing here is to keep from getting obsessed with it, I don't want to fall back into the whole "I HAVE to go to the gym every day since I'm signed up or else I have to give it up or I HAVE to workout at home because I have equipment here" thing... every day will not be the same and that's life anyway (can you tell I have an obsessive disorder?).

On the days that I'm home (especially with the next two crazy weeks) I'll work on my other home workout plan and just try not to obsess to much and be really careful with my back!

So some days I'll work out at the gym, some days I'll work out at home and some days I'm hoping to maybe, finally, hit some classes at my trainer's studio but everything will depend on pain, injuries, weather and time.

I'm just going to take it week by week and day by day if I have too, kind of like I did with sticking with low carb, and I honestly think that right now, the best thing for my back is to do things that will keep it protected. And this gives me way more options for cardio than the home DVDs do.

So here's what the basic weekly line up will look like... and I'm looking at 7-9 exercises for each workout day including planks, gentle back work and abs on lower body days which may seem like a lot but I've done if before with machines and was very happy with it.

As always, I reserve the right to change and edit the plan as I go depending on how my body feels and what it needs at the time, or of I come across a different workout that I want to do that just works better for me. I know exactly what I'm looking for and I think I know where I can find it so I will updated as I go.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Well, on one hand it's still a loss despite how small it is. One the other hand, it's so small but that's pretty much how my weight loss has been going and last week was a great loss so I'll just be happy with what it is and hope for more next week.

This also means I've lost something for 27 weeks straight and I'm down 39 lbs in those 27 weeks. So it's still progress, just really slow this week. My short-term goal is still 155 lbs.

My back is still bothering me so I'm resting it and waiting to see if my trainer approves my new workout plan. I want to be back to working out by this weekend if possible.

I now have 11 days left until I can have some yummy, carby foods and I'm assuming that week will definitely show a gain but I'm ready for it!

So, now I just keep doing what I have been doing and keep working on this weight loss. I think that's all I have for now.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Here's the issue, today my back hurts very, very badly. Like, I'm not even working out today badly and the only thing I've done differently this week are the video workouts and I didn't pull it or hurt it in any other way.

So, obviously my body can't really handle this many video workouts in a row and that's okay. Live and learn, and here's what I learned...

1) I need more variety with my plans.

2) I need shorter, more basic workout plans that don't require 4 days to compete the full body and have, like, a month's worth of almost daily workouts in one plan.

3) I really like doing the full body or even an upper/lower body split rather than the regular push/pull/leg/abs split right now.

4) I need a break from creating and obsessing over my own workouts.

So, here what's I'm doing... I decided that, for now, I want to do an upper/lower body plan split into 4 day weeks: Upper/Lower/break (or cardio or gentle yoga) then Upper/Lower/Break (or whatever again) plus a rest day if I haven't already taken one.

I also want to do ONE video a week, yoga or pilates probably, not weights, since I'll be doing that on my own. I figure once a week, if I choose the right videos, won't hurt me if I'm careful.

And, of course, I need to do cardio but that can fit in anywhere.

I'm doing a lot of online research and I've already found four upper/lower body routines that are already created and ready to go (I just need to switch out a couple of exercises with stuff I can't do or that require gym machines) so I don't need to worry about creating my own and I can switch workouts every 6-8 (or whatever) weeks or whenever my body is ready for change.

I'm still going to send the workouts plan to my trainer for approval and I'll start this week, once my back feels better, but this seems like a great compromise to me and I'm looking forward to it!

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Today was definitely a gentle stretch day! I started out with some cardio but my body is super sore and exhausted so I just focused on my regular full body stretch (yoga poses included) and it felt great!

Monday, December 11, 2017

First off, every, single part of me is sore and I love it!! It even hurts my abs to laugh and I can't wait to see how I feel tomorrow after all the work I put in today!

Second, I'm totally loving this plan right now. I have over 200 online DVDs to choose from with the Amazon channel I signed up for and there's other channels available with tougher workouts whenever I get ready for that. So I can do whatever workout I want and feel like doing that particular day and I can't see myself getting bored with it anytime soon!

I was afraid the DVDs might be to easy for me with all the work I've done in the past year or so but even though there's less reps and my weights are lower, I'm still getting a fantastic workout, at least with the ones I've tried so far!

I'm also working differently since I'm not only working certain muscles groups per day right now. I'm just doing whatever the instructor tells me too and I'm doing a lot more combo type work (example: squats & biceps together), especially since I work the full body every other day. This really changes my approach to exercise and my body is loving it!

It also make it easier if I have to miss a day due to illness or emergency because once the full body is done I'm good to go! Right now the plan is full body one day of whatever... yoga, pilates, barre, weights, a combo of all... whatever I feel like trying and cardio the next.

And I'm looking forward to working out again and that feels amazing!! I don't have to worry about setting things up, planning my workouts, printing my workouts, etc. I just decide what I want to do that day, grab some basic equipment and I'm good to go!

All in all, I'm thrilled that I decided to try this and I can't wait to see what this will do for my body and my fitness levels!!

Today was full body day again so I decided to hit it hard with a strength training workout.

I went with Denise Austin's Personal Training System because I've done it in the past and liked it (excluding the cardio segments) and by putting together all of the strength training and stretch, I got a fantastic workout that challenged me!

In fact, I couldn't even finish out all the reps in the hardest, final high intensity segments for upper body and lower body but I loved it and my body is now Jello lol. And my abs still kill from the Pilates workout the day before yesterday!

I'm thinking of making sure this particular workout and the way I did it should be in my rotation weekly but we'll see!

Sunday, December 10, 2017

I had a great cardio workout today and I'm very nicely sore from yesterday's pilates! I'm also looking forward to tomorrow's full body workout, I just haven't fully decided what it will be yet but I have a lot of choices.

I think I may do this full body one day/cardio the next thing for a while. This makes it a lot easier to plan and I'm not missing a body part if I have to miss a workout for some reason. It simplifies things and it's a huge change for me that I'm liking right now.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

I started the day with a high pain day and ended feeling amazing from today's workout!

Full Body Workout Day - 52 Minutes

"10 Minute Solution: Pilates:"

Pilates for Abs

Pilates for Buns & Thighs

Pilates for Flexibility

Sculpting Pilates

Pilates Burn

I did the entire 52 minute 10 Minute Solution Pilates DVD (all five segments) and I LOVED every minute of it! I've never, ever (and this DVD used to be my favorite) been able to do the entire 52 minutes before and I was able to to do every exercise!

I sweated like crazy, my legs feel like jello and the most important thing is that I loved every minute of it.

Maybe this whole time the problem was that I was getting burnt out on the same type of strength training that I've been doing for, what, two years now, and I just needed a huge change and that's why my workouts kept stalling and fizzling out?

Anyway, cardio tomorrow and then I have, like, 166 other DVDs to choose from on the Amazon channel I found the workout on. My biggest fear this whole time was that the DVD's moved too fast for me but after all the weight I've lost, they're not too fast anymore!

So maybe I won't be building serious muscle right now but as long as I'm doing something and actually enjoying myself, that's what counts, right? And eventually I'll be back at the serious stuff but right now I need a break from it. And I have pilates, yoga, weights, dance, cardio, barre and all sorts of other DVD's to choose from to keep me from getting bored!

I am so pumped and excited and I actually can't wait to work out again!!

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Holy crap, I'm in the 150's!!!!! Today is 6-months (26 weeks) of low carb/keto with no cheating and I'm down 70.2 lbs since June 2015 and 38.8 lbs down in that 26 weeks! I have 29.8 lbs to go until I hit my goal weight... less than 30 pounds away and I hit my short-term goal is 160 so my new short-term goal is 155 lbs!

This is what my My Fitness Pal weigh-in's for the last six months have looked like...

...which is really awesome! I've lost weight every week for the last six months! Yes, it has slowed down and it'll start getting even slower soon but I'm okay with this.

My biggest goal right now, outside of sticking with what I've been doing, is to get back to working out. I really, really need to create some muscles here to offset the sagging skin and because I freaking love working out lol.

I'm guessing I'll probably be in the 150's for a good two months (if not more) because that's how long it took to get out of the 160's and I'm not really worried about it. I'd love to be done but I'm doing this in such a way that the weight will stay off. There's no reason to rush it.

I also did my measurements and I lost on everything but upper arms and jean size! The most recent will be posted here and the total amounts will be on my "weigh-in and measurements" page.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

So, today is 180 days cheat free low carb/keto and my next 30 days of being cheat free which earned me my favorite tank top to date! I think I was originally going to post this at 175 days but I forgot.

Also, I had to get a replacement tank top because this one was a little too big at the bottom and I know that it'll be way too big in a matter of months which is actually really cool!

The last 30 days have been the same as the several 30 day cycles before them in terms of food, calories and macros and I'm still working on getting my exercise back on track. The only things that's changing is how fast the weight is coming off because it's definitely slowing down but that's normal and I'm still at some kind of weekly weight loss so I'm not complaining (too much anyway lol).

I'm still within all my numbers (I haven't gone over 46 net grams of carbs in 180 days and I've lost 36.6 lbs in that time). I'm still losing inches and sizes (as shown by the huge trash bag of clothes I gave away that are too big for me now). I'm still not binging, cheating or craving cheating but I'm also tired. I want a day where I can just eat whatever and not think about it or plan for it or worry or track or any of that but that's what Christmas is for and that's only 20 days away.

And, speaking of Christmas, here is where things change just a little. The next no cheat cycle is only going for 20 days because Christmas falls on Day 200 and that's my feast day.

I think that at this point I will start the 30-day count over again the day after Christmas and once 30 days pass from then I get another tank top but I'm not sure because I will have that last 20 days under my belt already so I'm still figuring that out.

Other than that the total daily count is staying the same but now it'll be posted and talked about as "200 days low carb/keto, 1 cheat day" versus "200 days low carb/keto cheat free." I hope that makes sense lol.

So my main goals right now are to get into the 150's within this month (getting closer and closer to that every week), get back to regular working out and just keep working hard!

And here's my new tank top in a size Large... I have a Medium on it's way to me in the mail!