22 January 2013

Wheezing

I went to the
pharmacist this evening. I was feeling a bit wheezy and I had run out of
Ventolin. I have occasional bouts of asthma. Yes Mum - I know that this is
likely smoking related yet I seem to get it more in Singapore than anywhere
else. I think the humidity brings it on. I normally stock up on inhalers when I
travel. Ventolin is available over-the-counter everywhere except Singapore but
I forgot to re-supply myself when I was back in Oz.

I knew it was
going to be a struggle to get the pharmacist to sell me any and the local
doctor's clinic was closed but I thought I would give it a crack anyway. I
walked down to my local pharmacy and confronted the old fella behind the counter.
He is a local man from whom I have bought stuff before. Mostly stomach related
medications that I stock up on for when I travel to India. I have found that it
is best to be prepared for stomach ailments when one travels to India - so this
pharmacist and I sort of know each other by sight.

"Good
evening uncle" I smiled.

"I am
feeling a bit wheezy and need some Ventolin please. Can?"

"Good
evening" he smiled back.

"Cannot.
You need to get from the doctor"

"Ah I
know this" I replied

"But
the doctor's clinic is closed and I think I might need some Ventolin tonight. I
need some now in fact"

"Cannot" he repeated.

"You
need to see the doctor tomorrow then"

"OK" I said.

I was still
smiling when I said this but I was exaggerating my wheeze a little. I was trying
to extract a little sympathy.

"Why
don't you just sell me one inhaler? I won't tell anyone if you don't"

"Cannot" he repeated.

He was still
smiling himself and although his wrinkled face showed some signs of sympathy I
knew he wasn't going to budge.

"It is
against the law", he repeated.

"But I
don't think anyone can abuse Ventolin can they?" I implored.

"Surely
no one has overdosed on Ventolin before have they?"

"Cannot" he repeated.

"It is
against the Law. If you cannot breathe you must go to the Hospital"

"Oh
well"
I replied.

"I
hope I last through the night then."

This is pretty
much what I expected so I wasn't too surprised.

As I was
turning to leave he said "Mr. Peter you should take some crocodile meat"

I wasn't sure
that I heard him correctly. So I said "Pardon me?"

"You
should take some crocodile meat. For your asthma". He looked deadly serious.

"Where
should I take this meat uncle? And from where do I get it?" I
enquired.

"It
will cure your asthma" he beamed - without answering either of my
questions.

"OK"
I said.

"Give
me an inhaler of crocodile meat please then".

I pulled out
my wallet.

"Cannot" he said.

"It
does not come in an inhaler"

"Alright" I replied

"Give
me a bottle of crocodile meat pills then"

"Cannot" he once again stated.

A theme was
emerging here.

"You
must get the fresh meat of a crocodile"

"You
have?"
I asked - knowing the answer already

"I do
not"
he smiled.

"So
where can I get it?" I asked

"From
Australia" he retorted with delight.

"Cannot"
I said.

"It is
against the law"

"Not
in Singapore" he said. With some smugness I might add.

Imagine that.
You can't buy a harmless life saving drug like Ventolin over the counter here
but the pharmacists are pushing asthmatics to purchase and consume the raw
flesh of a viciously dangerous animal from Australia. The bizarreness of this
place never ceases to amazes me.

I just Googled
asthma and crocodile meat and yes, Chinese Medicine Practitioners in Singapore
do in fact recommend the consumption of raw crocodile meat for the prevention
of asthma. They don't tell you where to get it from though.