I wanna be a SQL 2005 DBA....what kind I don't know.

I want to learn about SQL 2005 so I was going to start by reading
"MS SQL 2005 for Dummies." I have no database or programming
experience. I was also thinking of purchasing the MS SQL 2005
text books to start studying for the MCTS SQL 2005 cert. Is
this a good start? What else can I do. I am not going to pay
Quick Cert or any other company a few hundred to a few thousand
dollars to send me software when I can teach myself, so don't
pitch me any business deals.

Kalman Toth is right
Learn database design theory from conceptual , logical to physical
implementation on sql server 2005.
also learn sql in generl and t-sql in particular.
do some projects and a lot of practice so that you are exposed to many
scenarios.
Finally go for certification just to confirm that you KNOW.

I'll start off by saying I admire your desire to learn and to go about
teaching yourself. But, DBA is not something you do on your own. Being a
DBA is not about what you can teach yourself out of a book. Being a DBA is
about Experience. There is no amount of reading you can do to teach
Experience.

I say this to hopefully guide you to success and not failure. The first
place that you'll run into a roadblock and probably fail is the DBA
interview. The questions at the Interviews I have been at and conducted
never went over anything you could learn simply from a book.

As a DBA you are responsible for everything related to all corporate
Databases. That includes the Servers the Databases are on, the Applications
that access those Databases, the Network that connects the Application
Servers to the Database Servers.

You have to be a Jack-of-All Trades. SQL Server 2005 is very robust and
complex. To be a decent SQL Server 2005 DBA you will need to also know some
programming languages as well. C# will do. In order to do some of the
Advanced Database Monitoring and Scripting especially with SSIS you will
need programming language knowledge.

You can teach yourself SQL and C#, but that wont make you a DBA. You can
even download and
install SQL Server, but that wont make you a DBA. You can take
Certification exams, but they won't make you a DBA.

You won't be a DBA Until, you have practical hands on experience with all
aspects of database operations (And there are practically countless day to
day functions)

I understand you want to do this without buying Expensive Cert exams and
Online training or CD's. Your best bet would be to take a class or two from
a Local Community College. Just about every Jr. College or Community
College now offer Training in various IT fields and Databases is almost
always available. And almost all offer the classes in varying times (Night,
Weekends, etc.) Also Financial Aide is available in multiple ways.

Learn the basics in Relational Database Design. The class will most likely
be called Structured Analysis and Design or Database Design 101. If you
don't wish to go through an entire Course Regiment and get a degree or two,
at least go and get a few Database related classes. Many offer hands on
labs as well, where they practice everything from creating databases and
tables to setting up monitoring jobs, etc.

I hope you take some of this to heart and reconsider how you plan on
attempting your career choice.