War Over Role of American Fathers

Published: June 19, 1994

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It is not yet clear how these two views of fatherhood are playing outside the think-tank circuit. Most men never really bought the idea of the new father. Study after study shows that mothers, even if they are working full time and bringing home paychecks at least equal to the fathers', still do most child-rearing and household chores.

But many people also seemed to reject the "family values" crusade of the 1992 Republican National Convention, and politicians quickly dropped that theme after being labeled intrusive and intolerant. Mr. Horn, a clinical psychologist who served as the Commissioner of Children, Youth and Families under President George Bush, is careful to distance himself from some of the views of the far right.

"A lot of people interpret this as an attack on single motherhood," Mr. Horn said, "and that's not what it's about. Anybody, whether a single mother or a father, trying to raise a family deserves everyone's support and encouragement, not their scorn and condemnation. Still, it does nobody any good, least of all children, to say fathers are unimportant." Matters of Fear and Guilt

Yet, Dr. Levine said he believed that much of the debate ended up compounding the fear and guilt of single mothers and attacking the existence of diverse families, including those headed by lesbians.

David G. Blankenhorn, the author of "Fatherless America," to be published by Basic Books, is the father of a son and one of the most tireless promoters of bringing back a more traditional view of fatherhood.

"My criticism of the new father paradigm is that it acts as if the only act worth crediting is nurture," said Mr. Blankenhorn, who is also president of the Institute for American Values, a research organization in New York, and the chairman of the National Fatherhood Initiative. "But the deep meaning of masculinity for most men is the idea of providing for and teaching children, and that should be celebrated."

Mr. Blankenhorn said that several studies of parent-child interactions had shown that fathers tended to roughhouse while mothers tended to comfort, and that fathers tended to assume the role of coach, teacher and enforcer of standards. Differences Not Innate

But these differences are not necessarily innate or inevitable.

"Children talk in the midst of doing other things, when someone is giving them a bath," Dr. Taffel said. "The one who does more of that is the one who finds more out. It's not inborn; it just happens to be that women happen to do more of that."

Mr. Blankenhorn and Mr. Horn said that they were not trying to revive the 1950's father nor redraw traditional sexual roles, but rather to curb what they saw as excesses of feminism and to reward fathers for their contributions.

"We are not about turning the clock back," Mr. Horn said. "This initiative is not about moving back to the 1950's stereotype of the cold and distant martinet father who was afraid to say 'I love you' to his kids. That was very destructive, and men found that unfulfilling. But it is equally oppressive to say that men will not become new fathers unless they do half the diaper changes or bottle feedings."

Photo: David G. Blankenhorn, an author who is promoting a return to a more traditional ideal for father, was with his 4-year-old son, Raymond, and his wife, Raina Sacks Blakenhorn, in Central Park yesterday. (Philip Greenberg for The New York Times)