Jokes & Humour

For weeks a little boy told his teacher about the baby that was coming to his house. One day, his mother let him feel the baby move in her tummy. He then stopped telling the teacher about the baby. The teacher finally asked, “What happened to the baby you were expecting at your house?” The […]

A teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family of seven) […]

Drunk funny driver asked his wife: Dear, in life sometimes there are opposite meaning of words.. wife: How?? Driver: Like, we park our car in the driveway and drive our car on the parkway? ___________ Couples short conversations:- Male: I could go to the end of the world for you. Female: Yes, but would you […]

A bloke escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money, beer and guns and finds a young Australian couple in bed. He orders the bloke out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on […]

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. …The […]

Bruce was dying. Sheila sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: “I have something I must confess.” “There’s no need to, ” she replied. “No,” he insisted, “I want to die in peace. I’ve had sexual relations with your sister, your best mate, her best mate, and your mother!” “I know,” she […]

A Koala bear is sittin’ up in a tree, smokin’ a joint; Along comes his little lizard friend who asked Koala what he’s doing. “Smokin’ a joint, Liz, come up and have one.” So the lizard joins him on the tree branch and they both smoke a bunch more joints. The lizard tells his friend, […]

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good […]