FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Friday, August 17, 2007

Dude, you're getting an audit!

According to this story, Dell said it will restate its earnings for fiscal years 2003 through 2006 after an internal audit found that certain employees had changed corporate account balances to meet quarterly financial targets.

Ouch! Mikey, that must really hurt. You were like, kicking back on your private island drinking skunky Shiner Bock during part of that time, weren't you?

I'm just wondering, what is it about that shady accounting you hayseeds have down there in Texas? Is there like an Enron academy for this kind of shit?

Take my advice, Mr. Dell. You need to set an example or this is only going to happen again.

Firing is too good for these guys. Find all the ill-gotten booty they bought with their bonuses-- the cars, the boats, the boob jobs for their wives and mistresses, and put it all up on ebay.

And when you get the grand total, make their sorry Texan asses watch as you write out one big fat check to Hillary Clinton's campaign. It will just friggin kill 'em, I tell you!