One shot collection of Kakuzu and Hidan and all the awkward and funny situations of their relationship. Lots of language, lots of implied sex, actual sex, lots of humor, lots of fluff. Taking requests for this story! *marked incomplete until out of ideas, please leave requests!*

I don't even know. I've tried for a long time trying to figure out what to type but nothing has come. So we'll see where this takes us.

As of right now, this is the only thing on my screen. This and the words up there. I don't know what I'm doing. After a whole year you'd think I've gotten some sort creativity. LOLNO.

/shot

**M for Hidans mouth**

**Fluff at the end**

**OOC in all characters**

Pissing Pillows!

"Fuck you, you piece of cock whore bitch!" I grabbed the wad of money, crushing many of the green pieces of shit, and threw them on the ground, the paper spilling all over the floor. I at my teammate. "Go fuck your Jashin damned self!" Kakuzu's green eyes narrowed. I snarled at him and turned on my heel, walking out the room, making sure the door nearly fell of it's hinges when I slammed it shut. Cock sucking bastard.

I stormed my way down the halls of the Akatsuki base, stomping my feet extra loud to piss everyone else off. I can't believe that bitch. All he does is pay attention to his fucking money. If he'd actually act like he fucking "loved" me, then this shit wouldn't be happening. Fuck him, fuck his money. I'll piss on it and put it in his damned pillow.

I walked, er, stomped, to the kitchen and slumped down in one of the chairs at the table. Deidara was also in there eating some of his fruity cereal. He glanced at me, then smiled with a mouth full of multicolored bites of cereal.

"Hey, Hidan," he said spewing food all over the table. I glared at the chewed up food. Even I'm not that disgusting.

"Sup, bitch? Actually, nevermind. Don't talk, just eat," I said eyeing the food on the table.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Deidara said, actually taking time to breathe before he went to grab another bite of cereal.

"If that bastard wouldn't spend so much damn time counting and loving his money, then I wouldn't be so pissed off! All the asshole ever does is sit there and wonder how much he'll make off of this shit faces head or this guys fucking fingernails or some shit like that! It's always about him!" I narrowed my eyes and growled. "He says he fucking loves me, but in truth, I'm just his fucking fuck buddy when the old bastard gets horny!"

Deidara cringed.

"I want to actually go to bed with him sometimes. The only time I ever get to sleep next to him is after fucking pounds my ass!" Another cringe. "Sometimes, I just want.. I just want to- Mmmmph!" I slammed my hands over the one hold my mouth shut. "Mph mmph ffmph!" I clawed at the hand, not being able to see who it was, as the asshole was behind me. I was suddenly picked up, and being thrown over someone's shoulder, I hit the back of the guys back and felt something wrap around my arms holding me still.

"Shut. Up." Kakuzu? I looked at the ground and pouted under his hand (which was no longer attached at his wrist). I heard a door open and then shut, rather gently for his bitch ass, and surprised when it didn't fall off from my previous slamming. I was sat down on the bed, his arms going back into place. I looked at the ground, anything but him, and noticed the money was still on the floor. The bills were even crumpled still. I notice the bed shift as Kakuzu leaned down on one knee and hover over me.

I refused to look at that asshole. I don't want shit to do with him. He tilted my chin up, but I kept my eyes closed.

"Hidan." I huffed. Not gonna get me, asswipe. He ran his thumb over my cheek making me realize it was wet. I felt my cheeks heat up. "Why are you crying?" His deep voice was soft (for fucking once) and gentle. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You fucking heard it all! You know exactly why!" He sat on the bed next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. "Get off me, bastard! You're just doing this because you feel sorry for me!" I tried pushing him away, but I felt to weak to really try. Not that that asshole needs to know that..

"Hidan." He turned my head to his, pressing his mouth against mine. You know, I didn't even care at this point. I just fucking wanted him to see me as something other than a piece of meat to beat. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back. We kissed for a while before slowing down to a stop.

"You're a fucking asshole, I hate you. You always do this to me," I said, holding onto Kakuzu tightly.

"And yet you always come back."

"You fucking force me!" I yelled. He cracked a smile. I loved when he smiled. The stitches stretch a little. It's fucking cute. "Bitch."

"I love you, too," he said, patting my head. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me down, holding me as that asshole pulled the blanket over us. I gave him the finger and he closed his eyes and fell asleep next to me.

Maybe I'll piss on his pillow, too, just for the fun of it.

Dafuq did I just write? Well, this is.. interesting. I love Hidan and Kakuzu. They act like they hate each other, but they're so in love. :) They just don't know how to express it. Or something xD Well, that was cute, right? Review? Rate? Please? I'd really really like it if you did c:

I'll be posting more soon enough. :) so stay tuned! :D

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