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Author
Topic: children (Read 6472 times)

I had a child, my son adopted when I was 15. It was his 25th birthday on April 28th, and I never thought I'd hear from him. Its 3.40am in UK and just got a call about an hour ago from the US from him, he forgot the time difference! I've always been on the adoption register so he could find me, but never imagined I'd be in this situation. He's coming to London next month. I'm terrified. If I tell him I'm positive, it'll either scare him off or devastate him...if I don't, I'm a liarHelp?

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I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Hey Tigger- I should be keeping up on this forum. I haven't been checking it out lately, and that's my fault. You don't even need to worry about disclosing to him right now. You to have ALOT of catching up to do! My daughter (who's 22) knows, but she's known ever since I tested positive. She's had time to accept it. Also, you and your kid haven't seen each other in years. I would just get to know each other first and in time, if it's meant to come out it will. Good luck!Peace-Betty

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I agree. I don't have kids but it makes sense. Let him see how healthy and wholesome you are first!

"Disclose" always sounds to me like there is a big dark secret, in the dating context it can be interpreted this way... but in other cases, maybe "tell" would be less scary. If you had another illness, would you tell him right away or hold back a little? I think that is the key here. I mean, it's not like there is any rush or incentive to say anything as in the dating world.

Take care......... enjoy getting to know each other.

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Awww Tigger girl, I know how you feel. My sister raised my youngest son and I was terrified because of all the drama she had given me in the past. Surprisingly enough my son accepted me and we talked about it. I agree with the others, make up for the lost time. Obviously, well to me anyway, it seems like he is reaching out. Let me know how it goes.....

First of all I think it's wonderful that he wants to connect with you and is coming to visit you...but I agree with the other ladies, just take this time to get to know each other and just enjoy the time you'll have with him, there will be time later to talk to him about your status.

I've had a long letter from my son, Dan, filling in a lot of the blanks. Photos as he was growing up, a history, his feelings about his adoption, and me. It was SO emotional. He doesn't NEED to know I'm positive, I realise that now, with a lot of help from all on the forums, its just something thts happened to me, not who I am. I can't really put into words how it feels but it says something that after I'd told my dearest friend and my family, I came here. Thank you all so much. I'm not given to the 'mushy stuff' but your support and genuine delight for me has been overwhelming. Will keep you updated...

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I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Just an update. Met my son weds, was great/weird/emotional/wonderful/scarey! thanks so much for everyones support.hes a maths teacher, looks just like me poor sod, and we got on surprisingly okits not ever going to be hearts and flowers and fluffy but its a start...still felt a little awkward having to omit great bits of my recent life, but its odd...getting some closure on the 'other big thing in my life' has helped. cried all day yesterday...relief and joy

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I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Nice to get the update! And, it reads as if it went well. It had to be wonderful to see yourself in him, to know that he's doing well and to acknowledge that you made a difficult decision, at a young age, that turned out quite favorably.