The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition; How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

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Consumer text presents examples, techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener and making yourself heard and understood. Topics include why listening is important, how to let go of your own needs and listen, how to defuse emotional reactivity, and how to listen and be heard within the family. Previous edition: c1995. Softcover, hardcover available.

Michael P. Nichols, PhD, Professor of Psychology at the College of William and Mary, is the author of Stop Arguing with Your Kids, among numerous other books. He is a well-known therapist and a popular speaker.

Introduction

p. 1

The Yearning to Be Understood

"Did You Hear What I Said?": Why Listening Is So Important

p. 9

"Thanks for Listening": How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other

p. 25

"Why Don't People Listen?": How Communication Breaks Down

p. 42

The Real Reasons People Don't Listen

"When Is It My Turn?"-The Heart of Listening: The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs

p. 73

"You Hear Only What You Want to Hear": How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening

p. 96

"Why Do You Always Overreact?!": How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive

p. 111

Getting Through to Each Other

"Take Your Time-I'm Listening": How to Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen

p. 139

"I Never Knew You Felt That Way": Empathy Begins with Openness

p. 157

"I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You": How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity

p. 176

Listening in Context

"We Never Talk Anymore": Listening Between Intimate Partners

p. 205

"Nobody around Here Ever Listens to Me!": How to Listen and Be Heard within the Family

p. 235

From "Do I Have To?" to "That's Not Fair!": Listening to Children and Teenagers