Not just listening to it but how it is created, the nuances, as well as what it teaches me and constantly reminds me about Life.

Bottom line, as with Life in general, I try to have a wide frame of reference & open mind with music.

That’s why I began with this particular quote. I often believe that most of the great things in Life ‘fights the noose of verbal description.’ Like music. And that is why music can be so enlightening … and freeing … and thoughtful.

We always hear how teens & tweens discuss music how it speaks to them personally and perfectly describes their lives. It’s no different for adults.

Musicians and writers at their best capture the essence of a moment in a small grouping of words in such magical ways that words create pictures. And when combined with the perfect music? Well. That is a ‘wow’ moment <regardless of your age>.

I say that last ‘words + music’ thought because we should all think about some of the great words and lyrics wasted by poor music delivery. Just think about it. Not all music “wow’ moments are created equal. Some may have the potential of a big idea or moment, but if they are not presented well they are lost. I say this because, unfortunately, sometimes <even maybe often> greatness does not sell itself.

Absurdly, this thought often leads people to drive to the middle to find the safe ground from which to deliver ‘what will please people.”

Juliana Hatfield described this thought about music perfectly … <about odd time signatures>:

———————-

“most pop and rock songs and almost all hits are more even danceable meter like 4 beats per measure. Which is pleasurable to the ear and to the body … it is easy listening in every sense of the world. A round count of 4 is soothing natural repetition. You don’t even have to think about what you are doing and its easy to fall back in line if you step out for a second.

A count of 5 is more difficult. It demands something of the listener in that he not be so passive comfortable and unthinking in his listening. The listener must count along in order to understand what is happening or else expecting the measure to turn around after 4 beats he risks losing the thread of the piece the whole thing running away from him. If your mind isn’t tapped into the 5 feeling you’ll be lost scratching your head like a dancer who has missed a few steps and then finds herself hopelessly behind the others in the routine unable to catch up.

A song in 5 can smack of a kind of smugness and arrogance and elitism in a composer … he may be showing off his compositional prowess by self-consciously crafting a challenging mind stimulating piece of music almost as if the whole thing was designed solely to impress his learned colleagues.

5, or 7, or 13 – odd meters – can feel awkward and disjointed as if the songs are lurching. It can make for some prickly listening.

——————–

Look. I am not suggesting music shouldn’t try and please people, but we should also remember that music is powerful in & of itself and sometimes it creates the most powerfully perfect ‘wow’ moment thru some slight imperfection. Why? Because Life led perfectly is boring. It’s the discordant moments which bring the high & lows which not only makes Life interesting but, frankly, make us.

—————-

“… there came a moment in the middle of the song when he suddenly felt every heartbeat in the room & after that he never forgot he was part of something much bigger.”

Brian Andreas <Connection>

——————

Before you judge a type of music genre or a particular song, think about the fact that somewhere someone will be finding a moment in which he or she will never forget they are part of something much bigger. I will end where I began. Most great things fight the noose of verbal description. This is so for music just as it is so for people. The point isn’t to be liked by everyone, but to be loved by someone. This is so for the music you love just as it is so for the people you love. Just ponder that as you listen to your favorite music today.

All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary All of this is temporary

———

Ok.

I was tempted to call this ‘the glimpses of perfection’ <which I also call “the flickering of perfection” somewhere later. What I mean by that is if you put any real effort into what you do, in business or in Life, you will actually brush up against perfection on occasion. And that’s the maddening part. Life is pretty maddening in that it often gives us these little glimpses of perfection, but at the same time refuses to let us actually keep it for anything longer than a glimpse.

This is where it all gets tricky. Therefore <because we like … no … LOVE … those glimpses> we constantly attack Life & business always slightly tainted by this ‘temporary perfection’.

Why? Because the temporary glimpses, those ‘moments’, they suggest perfection <or a version of it> is achievable. And you try and plan, and replicate, those glimpses so that they become the norm. Unfortunately we people are imperfect so replicating perfection is almost impossible. We struggle in this wretched in between almost everyday.Now.

First. Let me be clear. The whole idea of perfection is shit.

Second. That doesn’t mean we cannot achieve perfection <whew … there was a contradictory thought, huh?>

The difficulty resides in the fact that perfection is fleeting … and we only get glimpses of it. I sometimes refer to it as the flickering of perfection in our lives.

And you know what? That’s good <that flickering>. In fact I would argue it is often good enough.

Look. I imagine most of us probably feel like we are ‘doing’ somewhere between okay and good in most areas of life. We are, in our minds, doing a decent job day to day. Some days better than others but overall decent.

But perfection? Whew. I don’t think so. Maybe at moments … but all the time in life? No way.

That said. Maybe the key point, or issue, most likely comes down to my ‘definition of perfection’.

Here is my take.

I sometimes believe we see perfection as a home to move into.

It is not. It is a hotel <or maybe a motel>. You may stay one night … maybe a week <if you are really really lucky> … but you can’t live there.

Am I saying this as a way of condoning mediocrity?

No. Absolutely frickin’ not.

It is just a reminder you that people are not perfect <most of the time>.

It is a reminder that Life is not perfect <all the time>.

It is a reminder that Business is never perfect despite all the process, system, ROI & corporate cultural guidelines <never perfect contextually>.

It is a reminder that aiming for perfection <all the time> is wasted energy and maybe to take it easier on yourself.

Now. This doesn’t mean you should try to be your best <because you should>, maybe just acknowledge that your best doesn’t equal perfection <at least all the time>.

Uhm. Uh oh.

It is quite possible one would think that “doing your best” should be … well … our best, no? And if we believe that, … well … our best should equal perfection, no?

Unfortunately it doesn’t actually work that way.

That actually isn’t the formula.

This may be difficult to accept but your best is a jagged line. Jagged as it is dependent upon what you have and when you are doing something – context as it were.

On occasion that jagged line butts up against the ‘perfection line.’

So.

Unfortunately. Under the harsh spotlight of self judgment you may be tempted to judge this as not really your best. Or maybe you make it a caveated best. A derivative of best as it were.

=============

“It’s easy to miss and easy to mistake For when things are really great It just means everything’s in its place.”

Aimee Mann

============

Well. You would be wrong. Its not as long as you were truly “doing the best that you can.”

Oh shit. Trouble. In actuality … many times we are not actually doing our best.

Huh? C’mon. 90% of the time as we go thru the grind of Life & business you know you could do more <if the measure is truly our best>.

Look. I truly believe chasing perfection is an endless pursuit. And, frankly, if you try to do this you only put yourself under unbearable pressure aiming to be the perfect version of who you are. And, inevitably, this relentless quest for perfection can only bring disappointment … because not only is being perfect all the time <if not at any time> is an impossible task but it becomes exponentially more impossible <ok … how can something that is already impossible become exponentially so? … its kind of like getting three death sentences …> if you actually attempt to do “it” all the time.

Planning perfection, which is most often a random confluence of factors, is a sysiphean task. Someone can waste far too much time and energy trying to be the perfect ‘whatever’.

Sure. None of us want to be ‘less-than-perfect’ in anything we do but it is a fact of life. But. Here is some news. Ok.

No. Here is the fact.

Doing your best isn’t about perfection … it isn’t always trying to be perfect. Because doing your best is about “good enough with what you can actually do”. Doing your best is about maximizing ‘as long as it lasts.’ And that is often not perfection.

Ok.

In the end. Don’t think about perfection as ‘your best.” Best is simply … ‘effort + attitude’. And … just … well … do your best. Choose the moments and truly do your best <and admit the other times just aren’t your best you are just muddling through>.

Why?

Well. I believe every action has an equal and opposite reaction <actually … each action can have a variety of opposite reactions of which it is difficult for you to discern beforehand what will occur but that’s a different post>. Therefore if you perform any action the results will come, maybe not today or tomorrow, but at some time. So if people could keep their minds thinking what i just typed above and truly do your best at the right time and mentally unattach yourself from the outcome of the ‘best’ actions <and the concept of perfection> I think more people would be happier … and they may actually do their best more often. And, maybe more importantly, if you do not try and fool yourself into believing you had done “your best” in certain situations you may be able to manage your life expectation-wise a little better.

Regardless.

Just do your best and if you are lucky … you will get a glimpse of perfection. We can try and be our best all the time, but perfection is temporary. While that may sound painfully disappointing maybe look at it is “possibilities”.

——–

I dwell in Possibility—A fairer House than Prose—More numerous of Windows—Superior—for Doors—

Of Chambers as the Cedars—Impregnable of Eye—And for an Everlasting RoofThe Gambrels of the Sky—

“How wild is it that every version of you probably exists still, somewhere, in someone’s memory?

The messy you, crying on the floor exists still in your mind. The happy, sun-soaked you, exists in your best friend’s memory. No part of you has died, all parts of us exist always, simultaneously and hidden.”

In that post I said … Maybe I could just suggest avoiding being ‘two/three/four/five faced’ as you attack filling up your Life and just focus on one good face. And maybe try and keep that face facing forward as often as you can.

Well. The truth is that your one face will come to life in different versions in other’s eyes. You can do everything consistently. You can do your best. Shit. You can actually be your best day in and day out. Yet, every version of who and what you are will exist, in all its different forms, somewhere in someone’s memory.

Someone will pick up a picture of you and remember you in a way that you may like; you may dislike, but is actually some version of you.

Well. How the hell does this happen if you are consistent?

Couple of things to think about.

Most importantly — interesting people are multi faceted. So even if you have ‘one face’ and one direction and one purposeful driven life and one clear soul … it can come to Life in different ways based on the context in which it is asked to interact with Life. Life pulls out the best and worst of you. And rarely does it do so in solitude … you can pretty much expect a shitload of other people around to see what you do and how you respond.

For some of those people that will be their only memory of you.

For some of those people that will be their most impactful memory of you.

Does that mean it is you? Yes and no. Yes in that it reflects a fragment of who and what you are. No in that it most likely is not a particularly good judge of your overall you. People should never be judged at their worst, or their best, and yet we’ll do just that day in and day out. Suffice it to say there are a shitload of versions of you wandering around out there in people’s memories.

Next.

We change. Yeah. we stay the same at our core but as we interact with people, thoughts and things we morph … hopefully for the better … but change it is. That I was yesterday, this I am today, and there I will be tomorrow. You are really the only one who experiences that time transition … everyone else is simply checking in and out.

What does that mean?

Part of the challenge about the whole ‘full but empty’ thing for us is that it isn’t always just about us. You can feel happy about the way you are but people can see a variety of things which do not even closely resemble how you are feeling. And most of us are self-aware enough, and observantly aware enough, to recognize any disconnects in real time. So while being full and not empty is really about maximizing your potential in an overall sense … you also are stuck doing some real time ‘maximizing potential obstacle management.’

When you do this, well, it slows you down from full stuff and only encourages more empty stuff.

In the end.

We all know you have to actively participate in Life because if you do not, well, Life will inevitably pick you to be on the worst dodgeball team, put you in the worst seat in a stadium and in the worst weather when you do not have the right clothes.

Stay true to thineself.

It doesn’t guarantee you shit in Life other than the version of you that you carry with you will look good to you. Not everyone else will like it, and some will love it, but you may as well have one you like.

In other words. You may as well be an architect of your own fate and manage your own version because everyone else will carry around a ‘version of you’ you cannot really control.

A midshipman on Collingwood’s flagship wrote this in his diary as his ship sailed into battle at Trafalgar

==================

This is about a sense of active stillness in business. Let’s call it the moment before the moments. Or:

‘Awaiting glory in silence.’

Great business performers seem to epitomize this quote. They seem to find ‘the moment before the moments’ and instead of being a bundle of chaotic energy they seem to find stillness.

The quote certainly reminds us of a return to old times of the banners flying in the wind on the battlefield and the silence and stillness before battle … then the charge with horses thundering forward and thousands of feet pounding forward with weapons in hand. And players rushing out of the tunnel onto the football field.

This isn’t about those moments. This is about the ‘moment before’ where all empties and all becomes still.

I actually believe we should talk more about the moment before the moment because I also believe the business people thrive because of that moment before the battle begins … it may be only a minute, possibly even just seconds, but that moment of calmness where everything kind of just “stills.” Just before everything starts moving again and silence is replaced by the ‘din’ of activity. That is THE moment. I almost think in moments like that your body gathers all the adrenaline in one small space and prepares it for release.

It is an incredible moment. Oddly, Winnie the Pooh agrees.

————–

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best …” (and then he had to stop and think). “Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were …” (but he didn’t know what it was called).

—————-

Anticipation? Geez. I think that undersells the idea. It’s bigger than that. It is also more important because I believe it often delineates between the best business performers and other business performers.

Try this.

Maybe because it is a “me” moment.

In that moment in time there is nothing else … nothing … no sound … no feeling … just ‘me’ … just a space in time with nothing but “me” in it.

Well.

Me (being me) actually tracked down some research on this. Some researchers have imaged the parts of the brain which are in control of us in the ‘moment before’. Interestingly in imaging that part of the brain are not thought to be under our full conscious control or awareness. The studies reinforced the fact that, for most of us, this moment before is one in which there is not much conscious, deliberate thinking going on at all. It’s like a brain “flat-wave” (the guy whose writing I found on it called it ‘a brain wasteland’). It’s almost like you push your brain to overload and it shuts down for however length of time to ‘reset.’

SONY DSC

I am not a researcher but its possibly we are probably more aware of oneself at this point in time.

It’s bigger than something as simple as a bland non dimensional anticipation. And, yes, I am purposefully using anticipation rather than expectation. I do so because expectations are tied to the audience while anticipation is tied to the presenter.

As a presenter I always expect, and expected, to do well.

But. As a presenter my anticipation altered depending on the moment, the situation and the audience. It is relatively obvious to say that the more relaxed you are with the moment, the situation and the audience <all aligned> the higher likelihood you will do what you set out to do.

And that is all a reflection of ‘anticipation.’

And that is where ‘we await glory in silence’ comes to the forefront. To a presenter anticipation roars toward you like an oncoming train. I tend to believe experienced presenters let anticipation come at whatever speed it wants to. They are focused on the glory and the anticipation kind of seems to match the moment more or less.

Now.

I will admit. The more experienced you become the better matched the anticipation is to the moment. In the beginning … most less experienced or amateur speakers tend to have a higher level of anticipation than the moment truly deserves.

Regardless.

Anticipation exists. Anticipation arrives at its own speed. And anticipation will inevitably crash into the event, situation and moment.

That is all a given. That is all speaker & presentation truth.

That said. I believe the best speakers permit anticipation to do its thing because they … well … they have an internal buffer.

… although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before …

The buffer is that moment before the moment – the moment in which everything stills.

The moment in which anticipation, which up until that moment was racing at you like a frickin’ runaway train, breaks … and stops.

There is no warning whistle butt the clacking of the train stops. Almost like it stops and waits for you to get on.

This is the speaker’s moment. This is the buffer between anticipation and the glory. The silence in the mind. This is “awaiting glory in silence.’

Lastly.

To be honest. This internal buffer is tricky because you want to expect it to be there but you also are a little nervous that it just may not decide to show up on that day. Over time … once proven … a speaker KNOWS it will be there <and I could argue knowing actually begets it>.

Anyway.

The business universe is always moving and mental survival in business is always about being able to manage all the moving responsibilities. You understand that talent alone does not guarantee success it also takes some taking responsibility for responsibilities. You don’t take anything, the presentations, the practices, the moments … for granted as you manage those responsibilities, at exactly the same time, regardless of the urgency or stress, you find the space to savor, and maximize, the time & moment – the moments in which you can await glory in silence. You try to stand still.

In other words, you await glory in silence … so let the din of the battle begin.

“Shut the fuck up … don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment; it’s a competition none of us agreed to.”

—

(via aussie-with-glasses)

==============

Ok. This isn’t about society & women & standards <although I have written many times on that topic> this is about competitions we don’t agree to in Life, in a society that creates them and a sense of “self” in which we are constantly trying to find meaning in the competition of ‘doing’. Many of us can go through life doing the best we can trying to get along and, in general, view most things in life as a journey and not some race and … well … sometimes people, things and society have a different view.

What this means is you are demanded to compete in some competition you really never agreed to.

Let me explain. There are absolutely a bunch of people out there who define themselves by competition. They seek to find validation & actualization through some comparison versus what others are doing <this, basically, is competition>. And then there are people like me <I do not know how many there are of us but I imagine it is a fairly significant %>. While I like winning and, on occasion, a good competition gets the heart rate up and ‘ups my game’ the majority of the time I don’t view Life when I wake up and go to work as a competition with anyone and anything but myself. I simply want to do good things <epic shit if possible> do the best I can and better than I did yesterday. I guess my competition is yesterday not other people. That said. I am not naïve. I know that everyday I wake up and go to work I am entering into ‘the Thunderdome’ and entering into some competition that I didn’t really agree to.

=========

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”

Steve Maraboli

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I don’t like it. But I recognize it. As often as I can, I avoid the competitions I don’t agree to.

By the way … if you google “how to deal with competitions you do not agree to” you will get zilch, zero, no results on that topic.

None.

Ponder that for a second.

All that said.

This does mean that you receive compliments as well as criticisms based on competitions you didn’t agree to.

And that is aggravating. It is like you are being judged by the Race Walking Olympic judges, with scores you don’t really care about, because you were just out jogging that day. Day in and day out people who really do not want to compete, other than with their own standards, are faced with having to accommodate competition they didn’t agree to.

What a fucking pain in the ass. I would also point out it sounds incredibly inefficient and time wasting.

Look. I am not suggesting some competition isn’t bad. I am suggesting that we go fucking overboard with regard to ‘forcing competition’ into all threads of Life & society & culture. I do believe it is healthy for young people to understand that in competition some people win and some people lose and that some people get trophies and not everyone gets one <although getting a trophy is not all there is to success & Life>.

I do believe it is healthy in youth to understand that some people are smarter than others, that some have skills you don’t have and that some people more easily learn some things than you do.

I do believe it is healthy for young people to learn how to compete and that competition can be healthy.

But at some point I think it would be good for society & culture to either turn that switch off or maybe learn how to turn on the dimmer switch because I think part of being an adult is knowing what you are good at and what you may not be good at and deciding for yourself <some would call that personal responsibility> how you want to achieve the best version of yourself.

I am not convinced that society, and business, creating some false versions of competition which almost encourages me to compete in some competition I really didn’t agree to, let alone really want to compete, is a good thing.

I tend to believe people like me think our competition is harsher and more challenging than any competition society can create for me and because of that I tend to want to dismiss outside competitions.

Yeah.

That choice is fraught with peril. Suffice it to say … just knowing that there is peril in not wanting to compete in some competition I didn’t even agree to is aggravating. But that is the world we currently live in. We are asked to compete against other flowers when all most of us want to do is bloom.

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.”

–

James B. Cabell

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Well. When entertaining <as if I actually entertain> my favorite drinking glasses are my ottimista pessimista glasses. Italian glasses with a line etched in the middle with ottimista above and pessimista above.

Why? Nothing seems to generate a more lively discussion than one on optimism versus pessimism. Simplistically. most people like to bucket other people into one group or another. Yeah. It is actually a version societal ‘lableing.’ I, a self proclaimed “cynical optimist’ tends to believe there are not many true Eeeyores <pessimists> and not many true Tiggers <optimists> in the world. I tend to believe we have both aspects interwoven and sometimes even situational <albeit our individual personality will skew us toward one or the other>. This combination is a good thing per research:

– according to research from the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania, optimistic managers may do a better job of helping employees reach goals and be more productive. In a cross-sectional study of 86 employees and 17 managers at an Information Technology (IT) organization, researchers Margaret Greenberg and Dana Arakawa found that positive leadership correlated with employee optimism, engagement and project performance.

– a German study stated that optimistic people actually face a greater risk of disability or death within 10 years than pessimists who underestimate their future life satisfaction. The reasoning behind this is that the pessimists might actually be a bit more careful about their future than the optimists.

So if we have both we can actually increase productivity AND avoid “disability or death.” Well. That sees like a good combination. The challenge is to have a mix of both while keeping your eye on the realistic ball.

Oops. No can do.

We are individuals and each individual will see reality thru their own optimist or pessimist lens and, even more importantly, judge others thru this lens>. Therefore as we view each other we see a certain characteristic as ‘bad’ or maybe just an unrealistic point of view <by the way, this ‘bad’ can be either optimism OR pessimism>.

Neither optimistic nor pessimistic is bad in and of itself. An article in Psychology Today said:

“It’s simply not the case that optimism is “good” and pessimism is “bad”—although that’s how we’ve been encouraged to think about them. Rather, both are functional. And both have value.”

Interestingly … I often find that this is a discussion seems to take place between conservatives and liberals. Or risk averse and risk taking <which actually align with the political labels>. Ah. The conservative mind. In a 1956 essay “On Being Conservative”, the philosopher Michael Oakeshott wrote that someone with a ‘conservative temperament’ is:

—–

“not in love with what is dangerous and difficult; he is unadventurous; he has no impulse to sail uncharted seas. What others plausibly identify as timidity, he recognizes in himself as rational prudence. He eyes the situation in terms of its propensity to disrupt the familiarity of the features of his world”.

——–

Well.

I am not sure I would go as far as our friend Mr. Oakeshott goes. But. It certainly explains the reluctance among many sane people to take the more radical actions necessary to make radical changes <even when they know they should be done>.

Regardless. If you use only one perception filter, optimism and pessimism both have major flaws.

In problem solving an optimist is at least likely to come up with a number <and variety> of different things to try <maybe one of the will work> … while a pessimist is more likely to noodle over what is wrong, what could go wrong and why in the world we are even facing something wrong … and do nothing <which pretty much almost never works>.

As a generalization this would suggest in survival situations an optimist is more likely to survive.

<please note: I am ALL for survival>

On the other hand. Optimists can be nerve wracking to be around.

They tend to always talk best case and then buy their own hype.And when something does go wrong they inevitably blame the ones who pointed out what could go wrong with their plan <because ‘THEIR stupid, rosy-eyed idea didn’t fucking work’ is how one online writer suggested>.

Unfortunately every positive thought does NOT propel you in the right direction. Misguided optimism is as bad as overcautious pessimism.

Now.

I am hesitant to suggest balance as the key because actually achieving balance is … well … something called “inertia.”

Or.

Stagnation.

Or.

Doing nothing.

At least the optimists move. Because not moving and just wringing your hands means you will never discover something whether you may have expected to find nothing.

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“You can discover something in something where you expected to find nothing.”

Regina Derieva <The Last Island>

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The pessimist doesn’t even have the opportunity to find something.

Lastly. A ‘realist.’ <as an option to being optimistic or pessimistic>. This realist label is pretty popular. Most people suggest being a ‘realist’ is all about someone downplaying the good things <minimizing the highs> and recognizing some bad things as inevitable <minimizing the lows>.

Well. Unfortunately this is not true.

A true realist is someone who makes completely unbiased judgments and who doesn’t see things through any kind of filter. Neither a positive nor a negative one. Unfortunately this means that no one can actually be a realist. Sorry about that. Psychology points out that completely an unbiased perspective is neither possible nor actually productive <most of the time>. In addition … when someone says ‘they only look at the facts … with no emotion’ … well … they <too> are lying.

First.

Two people are likely to feel very differently about the same event simply because they highlight different pieces of the available information <some call these pieces ‘facts’>.

Second.

Even if truly ‘dispassionate’ … someone with a positive mindset will concentrate on other aspects of a situation than someone with a negative mindset.

Third.

Neither of them are necessarily in the wrong.

Anyway.

Here is one thing I do know. There is something really exhausting about reality. What do I mean? Even the most positive optimistic person will inevitably be challenged <if not eventually ground down>. It is a researched factoid that positive beliefs are derived not from the total number of good experiences but from a low ratio of bad versus good experiences.

Whew. That can be exhausting. So. All that said. What do you do about being optimistic or pessimistic?

Well.

In 1949 Harry F Harlow, Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin, outlined an alternative … something he called ‘intrinsic motivation.’ In other words, the joy of the task itself. Another guy, Daniel Pink, discusses this idea all the time and suggests that for most complex tasks intrinsic motivation is a much more powerful drive than any external motivator and that a key part of this motivator is purpose.

“The most highly motivated people, not to mention those who are most productive and satisfied, hitch their drives to a cause larger than themselves.”

In other words, economic incentives alone do not cause individuals to perform complex tasks better <nor make them more optimistic or pessimistic>. So maybe it is the journey that matters the most.

Maybe it has nothing to do with being optimistic or pessimistic.

Maybe all that really matters is doing something with purpose – not an ‘end game.’ Therefore … what this means is you are not optimistic nor pessimistic, but rather simply a person with a purpose.

Anyway.

Here is what I really know for sure:

————

“All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”

Confucius

———–

I always keep that in mind because optimism and positive outcomes really aren’t easy things to do and attain. And bad things happen. Keeping that in mind not only keeps me from being an Eeyore <or pessimistic with regard to Life and the world> it also probably keep me from slitting my wrists <figuratively>. As well as keep me from chugging whatever alcohol someone puts in my ottimista and pessimista glasses and wondering what my Purpose is.

Well. I could quite easily argue that the most fundamental thing necessary to be successful in Life and in business is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. In other words, having perspective matters. If you have the ability to see what others see, think what they think and understand why they do what they do … or maybe it’s a skill … it fosters understanding, ability to compromise, enables at least the possibility to shift thinking and it actually encourages you to rethink some things and maybe unlearn some learnings.

I do sometimes look at what is happening in the world and how we seem to have stopped listening and I think of Auden’s line from a poem he wrote about Iceland. I think about it and sometimes believe we are all out at sea floating amongst tides, waves and storms <rarely calm> looking at the ports with names. And, yet, we can never envision that the ports may look out at us and not only view us differently, but also the seas upon which we float. This is dangerous professionally, personally & society wise.

By maintaining our own view of things we do not listen, therefore we do not debate <we only lecture> and we certainly never compromise or find some common ground. Instead we all bob around the vast ocean just trying to keep our own head above water and yell at each other for stupidly bobbing around in the water the wrong way <or not the way we are>. No wonder the ports have a different name for the seas then we do. We call them Black, Caspian, Mediterranean, Baltic, Caribbean , etc.. Ports most likely look out and say ”a place upon which fools who do not listen to each other float”.

I word it that way because it seems like sometimes we forget that we are all trying to figure out a way of keeping our heads above water.

Now. I imagine the reasons why we forget all the commonalities and why we ignore what each other truly has to say is not simple, nor just one thing, but rather a thousand reasons scattered around like quarters on the floor just waiting for someone to pick up. I would bet I have sloppily discussed many of these reasons on enlightened conflict. But I can truly only think of one thing that trumps all the thousand reason to not do what we should be doing – moral imperative.

That may sound high too falutin’ for somethings as simple as ‘listening to each other and discussing’but truly it is a moral imperative that we try and solve this. Yeah. I just said moral imperative. I do so speaking of both business and society.

We are better if we listen, really listen, in business and discuss and debate realize that most often our differences reside in tactics, possibly in some strategies, but rarely in objectives.

I believe this can happen if we embrace the moral imperative as people. Ah. Back to that ‘moral’ word I keep tossing into this mix. What a divisive word for a word which should be a unitor. Beyond the entire civil discourse and listening and finding common ground discussion it seems to me that a shitload of us are actually embracing what I believe is called ‘moral condescension.’It’s not that we are just condescending with each other about views, opinions and beliefs, but all of that crap is grounded on an underlying sense of moral condescension <’not only do you have the wrong belief & attitude but you do that because you are not a morally strong as I am’>. Not only is condescension of any type irritating but moral condescension ratchets up irritating to … well … an incredibly irritating level. For the most part most people don’t really have to deal with it because most of us either keep our moral ‘high horse’ in our pocket or share it with friends and acquaintances of like mind. And most other people know our views and just avoid us if they disagree.

What that means is <a> there is a significant lack of any discourse and <b> when there is we fairly quickly move into our ‘moral condescension mode’ which irritates the other person/people.

I do ponder why we hate moral condescension so much. I mean condescension in general is irritating, but with morals and morality it just has a tendency to bring forth a little anger.

I would offer to everyone that maybe it suggests we should feel some guilt for some indulgence in the vagaries of life. It suggests that maybe we feel too much, well, about ‘muchness’ without truly examining the barebones of shit without all the muchness attached. The truth is that, for the most part, if you strip away the condescension it only suggests some examination of what we focus on and what we do not focus on. In fact. Imn moral condescension we actually possibly deprive something in that person as WE subconsciously indulge upon ourselves as something ‘we earned’ <this idea, to me, is at the nucleus of the condescension>.

Uhm. You do not earn indulgence. You earn money & respect <as well as some other nice and not so nice characteristics I imagine>.

I say that because regardless of whether you are the moral condescension giver or the moral condescension receiver you should be stepping back and stripping away the indulgence aspects <simplistically … I earned that huge SUV and deserve it … even though some people cannot even afford taking a bus> and try viewing all moral decisions and people’s views in the most stripped down version.

I say that because naked we kind of all have the same problems and issues in a harsh world — it is just a matter of degree in most cases.

I say that because we kind of have a moral obligation to the fellowship of all humankind and ‘fairness’ <whoever you would like to define that> for all.

Look. I fully understand as we bob around in the sea of survival <and self beliefs> we cannot have moral obligations to everyone around the world. It kind of seems to make more sense to understand we actually only truly have moral obligations against the people we come up against. The ones who metaphorically enter into our moral space. This suggests a concept of proximity or that proximity matter in morality. Well, yes and no.

First. The closest proximity is yourself – you can control your own actions and what you think, do and say.

Second proximity then would be the ones closest to us – physically or mentally.

Third proximity would actually be ‘the world.’ And what I mean by that is you have a choice to be vocal with regard to what you see as right or wrong. It’s kind of like the moral version of the butterfly affect. If enough voices are raised even Horton will hear the Whos in Whoville.

I say that because distance diminishes the affect your own moral obligation can have a real impact. But maybe what that proximity idea I just shared with you means is that we have some moral obligation to intersect, with ideas, and listen and discuss with those who our space interconnects with.

Here is what I know for sure.

We do not listen to each other enough these days. And we certainly do not discuss things with an eye toward commonalities anymore. Our differences seem incontrovertible and our civility has diminished to such a point we don’t even attempt to engage in discussion because of such certainty of lack of civility we do not even believe it is worth the attempt. That is a shame. And in Bruce terms … “it is bad.’ The lack of any attempt is, at its worst, ignoring a moral imperative for the greater good.

We would all do better if we recognized that ‘the ports have names for the seas’ … and they may be different names than the ones we have given the seas.

==========

Historical note about the Auden line I opened this piece up with … and a thought that sometimes mistakes can lead to a different way of looking at things and thinking about things … and … well … in the end — doing something different than you planned.

W.H. Auden describes somewhere how he had written a line, in a poem about Iceland.

“Beyond a doubt truth bears the same relation to falsehood as light to darkness.”

–

Leonardo da Vinci

=================

59squared.

3,481.

3481squared.

12,117,361.

12,117,361squared.

1.5 billion.

That’s three degrees and I am at almost 1/5th of the entire world. Yeah. The numbers are really not that neat, but you get the point. With a single event, a single death, one person can set off a chain of events that will affect hundreds of thousands, millions and even billions of people.

Some people call this “6 degrees of separation” <although I showed it to you as only 3>. I didn’t make up the squared concept. In some form or fashion it reflects the truth of the internet of things and connectedness and it shows the likelihood that the majority of us have some connection to any event in which 5, 59 or 559 people are part of.

I say this because it makes a lot of things, well, personal. The main point here is that a person now has access and is aware of more people <true friends as well as web based friends> and can have more frequent communication due to the ‘digital revolution’.

Yet.

Social media is simply the fact that the traditional benefits of an acquaintance network <personal or professional> and friendships can be more expansively realized than before <it amplifies>. This means that truth resounds more quickly & clearly & bluntly than ever before. The other truth is that our own experiences, and Life, can then be at the mercy of crowds of friends & acquaintances — crowds providing unsolicited input & feedback & experiences all influencing hordes of additional people’s thoughts on a daily basis. This means whether you are present in one place, or not, you can be impacted in the present place you stand. You are a nomad in which the world remains your home.

Our world is now one large network consisting of two basic things – people and connections. And while many times we look at this as some forced or constructed network <Facebook, twitter, etc. provides hubs and constructs> the reality is that most people networks & connections are organically constructed. So while we like to draw out nice symmetrical shapes to define how connections work and networks are constructed the reality is that networks are more often not symmetrical.

The unique patterns in the connections determine the shapes. We reach out in asymmetrical ways to places, events and thoughts and bring them near in seconds. In addition the ties between the connections can be complicated – spanning from intense or passive.

In the business world we try to characterize networks and connections in a variety of ways. The trouble is that people are not that orderly and certainly not stagnant and they actively reshape their connections, interests and networks all the time.

But I am not here to discuss how the internet can, or cannot, affect personal relationships or a sense of individual isolation but rather this is a thought on how the internet can make things, and Life … well … smaller.

On most days the ‘quasi-truth’ that resounds in the echo chambers of what we talk about and ‘think we know’ is that the internet is isolating us … disconnects us from reality and social interaction.

So … is it possible that the internet increases connection and decreases connection at exactly the same time? Yup. The Internet connects and it isolates.

The usual assumption that most of us make about our computing and communication environment is that we are ‘always’ connected. Indeed, most of us are ‘nomads’ when it comes to computing and communications. We live in a disconnected world much of the time as we travel between our office, home, airport, hotel, car, coffee shop, bedroom, etc. We now recognize that access to computing and communications is necessary not only from one’s `home base’, but also while one is in transit and/or when one reaches one’s destination.

It is an anytime, anywhere access world. It is also, paradoxically, a ‘be anywhere at any time’ world.

That is the connected aspect which creates the whole disconnected aspect.

Well. Let’s just say we feel slightly disconnected in a connected way, of course, until something happens that tightens all the lines of connection.

It is within moments like that where the supposed 6 degrees of separation becomes less degrees and more links all of a sudden the 59squared aspect of connectedness occurs.

The world gets smaller … in fact … really fucking small.

We are brought together and something that happens to 5 people, maybe 59 people, or even 559 people, becomes an experience within our own grasp.

Which brings me back to truth and resounding.

The majority of our social networking constructs today are on the internet <or have a foundation on the internet>. Simplistically, we, the people, are connecting via the internet. What this means is that the internet muffles or amplifies our voices, events and truth <as well as lies unfortunately>.

What this means is that … well … an event, a moment, a death, an injury, resounds … resounds as in 59squared.

What THAT means is we have to face a truth whether we want to or not. Now. At that point we have a choice – see what we face or don’t see what we face. And if we refuse to face it we will remain disconnectedly connected in our little asymmetrical networks of friends & acquaintances.

That was a sad sentence to type.

At this point, my conclusion, I imagine it may be relevant to remind everyone of 59squared and the fact that I can do one thing, one right thing … or one wrong thing … and it will resound.

When I started on this piece I wasn’t sure if it was about self, life, dreams or maybe even starting a business. Then I realized, in some weird way, it was kind of about all. How? Think “connection.” Or maybe connecting with something in a multi-dimensional way <emotionally, physically, experientially> which not only grounds us to us <our self> but has a commonality to ground us to other “us”es as well as to, well, everything <hopes, dreams, aspirations>. To me this has two aspects: stars & nothingness.

I like the thought that maybe each of us is really a star <shining brightly for something good or hopeful … within ourselves as well as possibly for someone else>.

I like the thought we spin out of nothingness as people, as careers, as thinkers and as doers, scattering to find our place in the expansiveness ahead.

I like the thought that maybe, because we really are stars, we seek them to find whatever secrets they could share about us.

I like the thought that stars can be seen by anyone, anywhere if you only look up on occasion.

I like the thought that stars connect people and thoughts and dreams and wishes and … well … anything hopeful.

I like the thought that while stars are about space they are actually more about managing space by circumventing distance to activate that which can exist between stars and people.

I like the thought that stars actually embrace the strongest business building concept thru actively engaging people in a physical way … an emotional way … and an experiential way. Stars engage us, connect with us, in a way that businesses and brands should attempt to emulate any authentic way they can <because I am not sure I can find any one person who dislikes stars>.

Regardless.

Whether we truly are stars spinning out nothingness or stars simply represent our sense of ‘nothingness to what could be’ mindset it is pretty amazing to think that anything spinning out of nothingness can inevitably create one of the greatest connections a person can ever have. Stars represent life moments stitching together all that we are and all that we want to be to form thoughts & attitudes which fuel behavior.

Stars are part of everyday lives and occupy critical space in a person’s grander Life story. They never dictate behavior, but instead inspire behavior. They do so by nudging us toward both emotional and transactional personal investments into ourselves inevitably shaping life patterns, creating behavior, and ultimately encouraging us to make personal identity statements about who we are.

Stars are the beginning, middle and end of Life. They represent life and how we live it.

They are the small cornerstones to our Life stories. Somehow they transcend the transactions we make with ourselves by resonating with something inside as well as outside the moment of ‘transaction’ with the star. And maybe most importantly? This multi-dimensional transaction we make with a star perpetuates a bond which unites, influences, inspires and scatters us out of nothingness toward, well, somethingness.

I imagine that means stars ultimately represent a connection with ‘what could, or can, be.” Stars help us answer the ultimate life question …“how do people fulfill their potential and figure out who they are and what they’re capable of?” They seem to give people a nice simple focus point which doesn’t sit there and lecture or even offer any advice, simply a feeling of possibilities.

Shit. Maybe that is all ‘Bruce-babble.’

Here is what I know for sure. We should all look at stars every once in a while:

“She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.”

–

J.D. Salinger

=================

Well.

This is about business. In today’s world if it doesn’t appear like you are doing something … then … well … damn it … you aren’t doing something <even if you may actually be holding the universe together>.

You have to be doing something that can be seen.

You have to because if you don’t everyone is convinced you are doing nothing. I call this issue … being challenged by the ‘outcome mentality.’ What I mean by that is efficiency driven outcome, or output, is everything. Do more with less is an insidious mantra because this not only suggests ‘more output’ matters but ‘less thinking, more doing’ is the path to more outcome.

That said. So what if your output is … well … holding the universe together.

C’mon. That’s a metaphor.

I’m not truly suggesting the actual universe, but let me talk about business. Sometimes you run across that leader or sometimes a manager or even a young employee <with some potential> who holds the business or the organization together. They appear to you in a variety of forms. They can be a rebel in that they are rebellious to the status quo every inch of the way toward their version of outputs. Some just effectively juggle the efficiency/effective balance. Others learn to weave a strong thread of thinking time into what they do, unseen, and produce a more effective outcome efficiently. That said. Sometimes when you look you cannot see what they are actually doing. They may be often seen doing nothing but standing there leaning on the balcony rail.

Uh oh. In today’s business world that person is screwed.

Look. I’m not suggesting you want people who do nothing, but sometimes people who look like they are doing nothing are actually doing a lot of something. And sometimes it is difficult to measure these people up against ‘outcome focused generators.’

What I mean by that is I have had people in my teams where during review time I have had to stack employees “top-to-bottom” and justify their salary, job status, existence within the organization, whatever review line item you want to call it … based on ‘what have they done.’

Tangible outcome crap.

And, well, sometimes your most valuable employee doesn’t look so hot based on sheer tangible outcome. It is only when you build in intangibles that they rise above the tangible outputters <not sure that is a word>.

Ok.

Any experienced business person reading this will be shaking their head going … “whew … been there” because you have a clear visual of a scrunched up face across the table from you saying things like “well … can’t we get them to do more? … I am struggling to see the comparable value to <insert some ‘outputter name’ here>.” You want to reach across the table and wring their neck shouting “they are frickin’ holding the universe together for god’s sake.”

Holding the universe together is a talent. It is a unique talent to make those around you better and more efficient, more effective and, well, happier <or maybe just more realistically positive in that they lift productivity – quality & quantity>. And sometimes that talent is embodied by ‘not doing anything but standing there.’

I have run across several business people who had the incredible ability to ‘hold the universe together.’ And I have had the incredibly ludicrous experience of having to encourage them to waste time to ‘tangibilize’ <once again … not sure that is a word> what they are doing so people can ‘see’ their value. As a manager, or leader, I imagine one of your responsibilities is to protect these valuable unique people from the challenges of the typical business world view and foster their abilities and opportunities.

Let’s be clear. This has some unique challenges because it has always been that an ‘outputter’ has never understood this type of person or value. Never have and never will. That’s okay … because organizations, just as in Life, need a variety of personalities and talents to be successful.

However. I do get a little concerned that the business world pendulum has swung so far over to efficiency & outcome & output that those who ‘hold the universe together’ is becoming a dying breed. Maybe I am less concerned for the immediate but over time. Because the young people with this talent and ability simply cannot protect themselves from an output world without help. And if all we do in business is to promote outputters … well … enough said. You get it.

I am sure throughout my career I have missed people who ‘could hold the universe together.’ And I rue those mistakes. I take solace in that I have recognized others and tried to herd them through the business gauntlet of ‘all that matters is results <or output>’. All I can say is that while as a leader you take pride in every employee you have the ones who have the ability to hold the universe together hold a special place in your ‘list of things done’ <or list of things ‘I didn’t screw up as a manager’>.

I imagine that is a reminder that in the end, as in the end of your business career or Life, the intangible often measures up more so than the tangible in reviewing ‘what I have done.’

I imagine this is all a reminder to all of us there are people all around us ‘holding the universe together’ in ways we just don’t see — but we benefit.

So before you judge someone for ‘not doing’ take a closer look just to be sure they aren’t holding the universe together.