I am so happy for you. It sounds like you are doing much better and now Belle has a wonderful home and someone to love her. I am glad that you found Tags...they sound like their care about animals and are there for them, and not just for the money. May God continue to bless you. Give Belle and extra hug from me.

Helen/Southwestern PA Joined SP 9/23/2007 Co-leader of The Rainbow Bridge--Grieving the Loss of a Pet Spark Team

"If you planted hope in a heart today in any hopeless heart, If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part, If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away, If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray, Then your day was well spent.

Thank you everyone. I am feeling much better. Thank you all for kind words and advice. I really appcraite it. You guys are awesome! I'm sorry to all of you who have lost someone special. It's hard and that's why we are all here. It's great to have a place to come for support and everyone understands what you are going through and cares.

ANGELBELIEVER, you had asked if I had seen a doctor. Yeah, I have. Actually I couldn't afford to see anyone. I went to the church and they couldn't help me. they sent referred me to the trauma centre which is not free. I had post traumatic stress 10 years ago and Simba helped me through that. It all seemed to come back when I lost him. I think I am okay now though. One lady at church was working with me, but it soon died out. She met with me once, had me join an anger group and wanted me to continue to another group Which I only went to twice and had me volunteering with abused animals. Thanksgiving came and she said she would facebook me. She really hasn't responded to my messages. Infact the last few times, if I hadn't contacted her to confirm that we were meeting, then she wouldn't have told me that we weren't. I just feel people are not dependable out here. But they are human and we are not perfect. I went to see the psychiatrist at school and she referred me to the trauma centre. She couldn't help me. I am on Zoloft right now, but it is for my migraines. I am to go off it hopefully next month. It was for 3 months because we want to start a family. I really donít think I have a chemical imbalance. Itís mostly life experiences because I was on just about every drug there was 10 years ago and nothing worked. It just made my fatigue worst. I have CFS. The Zoloft was really bad at first, but after a month the side effects wore off. Iím not so lonely anymore with Belle. I love her. I took one look at her and I was love. She is so cute, but she can be a little stinker to and in more ways than one.

POOH_BEAR, you are right, many just see him as just a pet or just a dog they donít get it. I donít understand that even at church they donít get it. I feel as if I lost my child as well. He wasnít just a dog. He was part of the family. He was special, my best friend who got me through a horrible time in my life. He was always there for me with unconditional love which I didnít get from my mother. He was the first besides God who loved me unconditionally. I agree with what you said, ďto love a dog is to know God. They are creatures of such unconditional love.Ē I use to want to change my past so I wouldnít have gone through what I did, but if I hadnít gone through that, I wouldnít have had Simba. So I wouldnít trade it. Having him outweighed it. I mean it was horrible, but where would have Simba been if I didnít take him? Would he have had a good home and have someone love him like I did? I am happy that I was able to be a good mommy to him. I loved him very much and I will always cherish the memories. I just wish I had more time with him. Thank you. And despite what Iíve been told about animals, I refuse to believe that animals do not have souls. I know they all are in heaven when they leave this earth. They have a heart of child.

MOMMA_BEAR, I found a good vet who tells the truth and works with me. Unfortunately they canít do everything, but I trust them more. They work with people who do not have a lot of money, but need care for their pets. I just took Belle there for her 8 week shots. They directed me to a place where I can get her fixed when itís time for $35. Other than this place, I think they are all out for money out here. I worked as a receptionist for a while at a vetís office and they over charged and took money that wasnít necessary. I was told that he was a good vet a long time ago. So really Tags is the only good place in town. Belle is here to stay. I told my husband once Belle crossed the threshold of the apartment, she is here to stay. I donít do that. Sheís part of our family now. God blessed me with her and I will do my best to take care of her to the best of my ability.

I wish Simba could meet her. I know he would love her too. He loved cats. He didnít like other dogs. I really wish he was here. But I know heís in good hands. God is taking care of him now. Thanks so much everyone. It means so much that you all care and understand.

You are in my thoughts and prayers that you are soon feeling better. CONGRATS on getting Belle. Don't worry that she will never be Simba...Simba is happy for you that you are not alone now. I can't wait to hear stories of both Belle and Simba. Anytime you want to tell us stories of Simba, please feel free to do so!!!

Helen/Southwestern PA Joined SP 9/23/2007 Co-leader of The Rainbow Bridge--Grieving the Loss of a Pet Spark Team

"If you planted hope in a heart today in any hopeless heart, If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part, If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away, If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray, Then your day was well spent.

Hope you feel better soon. Glad you have Belle, and will be looking forward to hearing more about her and your adjustment. You are honoring Simba...not replacing her. Simba would understand that another kitty needs you now.

Elayne from Florida in the Eastern Time Zone.

"There are two means of refuge from the misires of life....Music and Cats." Albert Schweitzer

Thank you all for your responses. We got Belle on Friday and she has been keeping me pretty busy. I love her very much, but she will never be Simba. I will answer more later. I'm not feeling good tonight and I am turning in. Good night everyone.

Hi Tiffany, I am so sorry for your loss of Simba. I do not that loss will leave a whole in your heart and your life as you grieve this loss. Only you know if you are ready for another baby. But I am sure when you are ready again, you will love with you whole heart. Our pets have a way of just bringing out the best of love in us. First thing thought I do think that I would do is check around and find a vet that I believe in and trust and not one that is going to lie to you about your pet. I would be right up front with him/her right from the beginning also about what I expect in a doctor. Forget about replacing Simba...that will never happen...his place in your heart is cemented there forever, but your heart is big enough that you will love another pet. Simba will remain a big part of your life even though he is now at the Rainbow Bridge and he would not want you to be alone. If you husband has brought Belle home already, please let us know how she is doing? The choice is yours. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide. You can never love too much!! Blessings and hugs, Helen

Edited by: MOMMA_BEAR_69 at: 1/17/2010 (05:16)

Helen/Southwestern PA Joined SP 9/23/2007 Co-leader of The Rainbow Bridge--Grieving the Loss of a Pet Spark Team

"If you planted hope in a heart today in any hopeless heart, If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part, If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away, If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray, Then your day was well spent.

I think that you are the only one who can know if you are ready to accept/welcome another pet. I think that Belle will have a wonderful home with you if you choose to "adopt" her. I don't think you need to feel any guilt or worry that you are betraying Simba's memory. You know, as we all do, that each pet has its own personality, quirks, etc. that make it unique. You will love Belle just as you loved Simba but I would guess that your heart will expand to embrace your new pet.

On another note, I agree that you may be depressed. I think we all suffer through the stages of grief... Even though to many it is "just a pet" I think everyone here would agree that our pets are family. I lost a son when Tyler departed this earth. I am crying now as I type this thinking of how my heart aches with his absence. The flipside is that my heart swells with the memories of the times we shared. I'm convinced that to love a dog is to know God. They are creatures of such unconditional love. I'm always amazed. No matter how badly it hurts, I wouldn't trade those memories to erase the ache. I don't think anyone can ever predict how long you'll have with a pet... It could be days, months, or years. Each second should be cherished regardless. I know I'm not going to get it quite right, but I'm going to leave you with a thought... I know there's a quote out there somewhere... The gist of it is that man lives a LONG life... Because we are SO imperfect, it takes us time to learn to be more deserving of the Kingdom of Heaven. Because our pets are already so close to the ideal image of God's grace, they don't take so long to earn the Kingdom.

I feel your pain as I have lost 4 kitties over the years, and lost 2 in 2 weeks in April, May of last year. You will not be replacing Simba...you will be loving a kitten in Simba's honor. I know you will be open your heart to Betty s you are that kind of a person. When we love an animal we have to hurt at times when they leave us. Time usually eases the pain and the pain is replaced with good memories.

You sound very depressed and wondered if you have seen a Dr. about your depression. There are medications that can help you. I think if you can get help things won't seem so lonely for you and you can reach out and begin again. I know because I've been there. I had a long year bout of depression and it wasn't my fault because these things just happen. There is a chemical imbalance and medicine can help and talking to someone professional can help too.

I wish you all the best and hope you'll enjoy Betty. Be sure to get her spayed when she is old enough. Get her checked and see if she's had her shots to get her started. She will soon help you take her into your heart.

Edited by: SASSYSAX at: 1/15/2010 (20:53)

Elayne from Florida in the Eastern Time Zone.

"There are two means of refuge from the misires of life....Music and Cats." Albert Schweitzer

Hi my name is Tiffany. I am new to the team. My baby who I love with all my heart, Simba, an 11 year old shih tzu, went to heaven October 10, 2009 on our patio of our studio apartment. It was horrific. My heart is just broken. I miss him so much. I've been wrestling with my emotions. The only one who has been really supportive is my husband. No one else really gives a damn. I tried to reach out. My husband immigrated Simba and I here to California from Canada in 2004. I've tried to make friends and it's just not working even at our church. I feel so alone and Simba was my best friend and with me through all my good times and bad for 11 years. Simba and my husband were the most important people to me. Simba helped me through a really rough time in my life. I promised I would never leave him. Wherever I went, he'd be with me. He was born in Macon, GA, lived in AL with me, Canada and here in California. We couldn't find an affordable apartment out here, so we hid him. I would not give him up. He was my baby. He got sick in August. He had a stroke. I did what I could to fix him. He was doing fine, but I found out he had a heart murmur and heart disease. The vets lied to me and said he wasnít in pain. We went in to debt to save him because they said he was fine, he wasnít in pain. He was put on medication. I was told he had to see a neurologist. We didnít have the money, so we put it off. It didnít need to be done right away. 2 months later he went. He stopped eating for a week. I thought he was being his picky self. I didnít want to face something was wrong. My husband knew. I got him new food. When he wouldnít eat that, I took him for a 2nd opinion for free. I was told that a neurologist is not needed. All I will be doing is paying a lot of money for them to tell me what I already knew. And then insist on MRIs and Cat scans for thousands of dollars, which would do nothing to fix the problem. It would take time for him to back to himself, but he was fine in that area. It was his heart. He was put on special food that he ate that day and then stopped and started throwing up a lot. I was going to take him back to the doctor in the morning, but it was too late. I put him outside whne he was throwing up where he cried (shrieked) out his last breath. His heart gave out. I was a hysterical mess. My husband was so good. I donít want to go through that again. I canít take it. Iíve basically shut down and all I do is facebook and watch TV besides being with my husband. I gave up reaching out when all I got was ignored. Iím not going to bother people. I just had a birthday at Christmas and it was funny that more of my game friends on facebook and people on Sparkpeople who I actually donít know remembered and the people I actually knew didnít say a word. So Iíve given up. I just realized after watching Dr. OZ yesterday that maybe I am depressed. I didnít think I was anymore, but I have isolated myself. But what can you do when no one seems to care? I donít want to bother people. Here comes the excitement and the guilt. My husbandís co-worker got a kitty and he doesnít want her after all. I want to know that she had someone to love and care for her. Iíve been wrestling the idea of taking her. I want someone to love and care for again, but I have this guilt that I am replacing Simba. I donít want another animal unless itís a girl, but still with her being a girl I have this nagging feeling I am replacing Simba. He canít be replaced. He will always have a special place in my heart. My husband is bringing her home tonight. I have decided I will call her Belle (Iím a Disney girl )I told my husband when she enters our home, she is not leaving. Iím not one to take an animal and then say oh, well it didnít work, Iím giving her away. I look at it as if they are your child and canít give your child away. You made a choice to take them in, itís your responsibility to take care of until God takes them to heaven. And thatís another thing. If she gets sick it will break my heart to go through what I did with Simba again. My husband said that cats are easier and she will live a long time. I hope heís right. Belle will be my first Kitty since my cat Tammy who went to heaven when I was 3, so if anyone has advice, please share.

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