In Florida, an atheist created a case against the
upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a
discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their
holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such
recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the
passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,
“Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood, objecting to the ruling
saying, "Your honour, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians
have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and
Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The lawyer said, "Your Honour, we are unaware of any
special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April
Fool’s Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no
God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there
is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is
adjourned.”

A light-hearted legend from Heaven

The angels had ceased from their singingStrange
whispers were filling the airThe saints seemed perturbed over something
And gathered in groups here and there.

Strange people were walking through HeavenWith shadowy
garments and faceSt. Paul to Saints Peter and Andrew“Who left these
queer folk in this place?”

But no one could answer the questionHe set out to look
for his mateFor surely Saint Peter could tell himHe’d know if they
passed through the gate.

But Peter knew nothing about itSo off they both went
to exploreAnd hunted in vain through the heavensUntil at the very
last door.

They heared such a terrible racketBoth looked at each
other and stoppedSays Paul “What can St. Joseph be doing?”For this
was his carpenter’s shop.

Then opening the door kind of slowlySure, what do you
think they did see?A hole in the flagstones of HeavenAnd St. Joseph
down there on his knees.

Till spying a ladder descendingThey saw the whole
mystery unfoldHe’d built a back doorway to HeavenTo rescue poor
suffering souls.

St. Peter got mad as a hatter“Old man, this all has to
stopOr else you’ll get put out of HeavenWe’ll close the carpenter’s
shop!”

St. Joseph got up from his ladderAnd drew himself up,
full of prideIf you dare to put me out of HeavenI’ll take with me
Mary my Bride.

And since she is truly God’s MotherShe’ll take with
her Jesus, her SonThen, there won’t be any HeavenSays Peter… “St.
Joseph, you’ve won!”

Rev. Hugh J.X. Sharky.

Right of passage

This is a lovely story to start the day with.

Have a great one!

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youths' rite
of passage?

His father takes him into the forest,blindfolds him
and leaves him alone.He is required to sit on a stumpthe whole night
and not remove the blindfold until therays of the morning sun shine
through it.He cannot cry out for help to anyone.Once he survives the
night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience,
because each lad must come into manhood on his own.The boy is naturally
terrified.He can hear all kinds of noises.Wild beasts must surely be
all around him.Maybe even some human might do him harm.The wind blew
the grass and earth,and shook his stump, but he sat stoically,never
removing the blindfold.It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appearedand he
removed his blindfold.It was then that he discovered hisfather
sitting on the stump next to him.He had been at watch the entire night,
protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone.Even when we don't know it,
Our Heavenly Father is watching over us,sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes,all we have to do is reach out to Him.

If you liked this story, pass it on.

If not, you took off your blindfold before
dawn…

Carl’s Garden

Carl was a quiet man. He didn't talk much.He would
always greet you with a big smile and a firm handshake.Even after living
in our neighbourhood for over 50 years, no one could really say they knew
him very well.

Before his retirement, he took the bus to work each
morning. The lone sight of him walking down the street often worried us.
He had a slight limp from a bullet wound received in WWII.

Watching him, we worried that although he had survived
WWII, he may not make it through our changing uptown neighbourhood with its
ever-increasing random violence, gangs, and drug activity.

When he saw the flyer at our local church asking for
volunteers for caring for the gardens behind the minister's residence, he
responded in his characteristically unassuming manner. Without fanfare, he
just signed up.

He was well into his 87th year when the very thing we
had always feared finally happened.

He was just finishing his watering for the day when
three gang members approached him. Ignoring their attempt to intimidate him,
he simply asked, 'Would you like a drink from the hose?'

The tallest and toughest-looking of the three said,
'Yeah, sure,' with a malevolent little smile.

As Carl offered the hose to him, the other two grabbed
Carl's arm, throwing him down. As the hose snaked crazily over the ground,
dousing everything in its way, Carl's assailants stole his retirement watch
and his wallet, and then fled.

Carl tried to get himself up, but he had been thrown
down on his bad leg. He lay there trying to gather himself as the minister
came running to help him.

Although the minister had witnessed the attack from his
window, he couldn't get there fast enough to stop it.

'Carl, are you okay? Are you hurt?' the minister kept
asking as he helped Carl to his feet.

Carl just passed a hand over his brow and sighed,
shaking his head.

'Just some punk kids. I hope they'll wise-up someday.'

His wet clothes clung to his slight frame as he bent to
pick up the hose. He adjusted the nozzle again and started to water.

Confused and a little concerned, the minister asked,
'Carl, what are you doing?'

'I've got to finish my watering. It's been very dry
lately,' came the calm reply.

Satisfying himself that Carl really was all right, the
minister could only marvel. Carl was a man from a different time and place.

A few weeks later the three returned. Just as before
their threat was unchallenged. Carl again offered them a drink from his
hose. This time they didn't rob him. They wrenched the hose from his hand
and drenched him head to foot in the icy water.

When they had finished their humiliation of him, they
sauntered off down the street, throwing catcalls and curses, falling over
one another laughing at the hilarity of what they had just done.

Carl just watched them. Then he turned toward the
warmth giving sun, picked up his hose, and went on with his watering.

The summer was quickly fading into Fall. Carl was doing
some tilling when he was startled by the sudden approach of someone behind
him. He stumbled and fell into some evergreen branches. As he struggled to
regain his footing, he turned to see the tall leader of his summer
tormentors reaching down for him. He braced himself for the expected attack.

'Don't worry old man, I'm not gonna hurt you this
time.' The young man spoke softly, still offering the tattooed and scarred
hand to Carl. As he helped Carl get up, the man pulled a crumpled bag from
his pocket and handed it to Carl.

The man shifted his feet, seeming embarrassed and ill
at ease. 'I learned something from you,' he said. 'I ran with that gang and
hurt people like you We picked you because you were old and we knew we could
do it But every time we came and did something to you, instead of yelling
and fighting back, you tried to give us a drink.You didn't hate us for
hating you. You kept showing love against our hate.' He stopped for a
moment. 'I couldn't sleep after we stole your stuff, so here it is back.'

He paused for another awkward moment, not knowing what
more there was to say. 'That bag's my way of saying thanks for straightening
me out, I guess.' And with that, he walked off down the street.

Carl looked down at the sack in his hands and gingerly
opened it. He took out his retirement watch and put it back on his wrist.
Opening his wallet, he checked for his wedding photo. He gazed for a moment
at the young bride that still smiled back at him from all those years ago.

He died one cold day after Christmas that winter. Many
people attended his funeral in spite of the weather. In particular the
minister noticed a tall young man that he didn't know sitting quietly in a
distant corner of the church. The minister spoke of Carl's garden as a
lesson in life. In a voice made thick with unshed tears, he said, 'Do your
best and make your garden as beautiful as you can. We will never forget Carl
and his garden.'

The following spring another flyer went up. It read:
'Person needed to care for Carl's garden.'

The flyer went unnoticed by the busy parishioners until
one day when a knock was heard at the minister's office door. Opening the
door, the minister saw a pair of scarred and tattooed hands holding the
flyer. 'I believe this is my job, if you'll have me,' the young man said.

The minister recognized him as the same young man who
had returned the stolen watch and wallet to Carl. He knew that Carl's
kindness had turned this man's life around. As the minister handed him the
keys to the garden shed, he said, 'Yes, go take care of Carl's garden and
honour him.'

The man went to work and, over the next several years,
he tended the flowers and vegetables just as Carl had done. In that time, he
went to college, got married, and became a prominent member of the
community. But he never forgot his promise to Carl's memory and kept the
garden as beautiful as he thought Carl would have kept it.

One day he approached the new minister and told him
that he couldn't care for the garden any longer. He explained with a shy and
happy smile, 'My wife just had a baby boy last night, and she's bringing him
home on Saturday.'

'Well, congratulations!' said the minister, as he was
handed the garden shed keys. 'That's wonderful! What's the baby's name?'

'Carl,' he replied.

That's the whole gospel message simply stated.

Take 60 seconds give this a shot! Let's just see if
Satan stops this one.

All you do is:

1. Simply say a small prayer for
the person who sent you this.

Father, God bless this person in
whatever it is that You know he or she may be needing this day!

2. Then send it on to other
people. Within hours people have prayed for you, and you caused a multitude
of people to pray to God for other people.

Then sit back and watch the
power of God work in your life for doing the thing that you know He loves.

GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE ANGELS, YOU
DON'T HAVE TO SEE THEM TO KNOW THEY ARE THERE.

The Atheist Professor

'Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus
Christ.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and
then asks one of his new students to stand.'You're a Christian, aren't
you, son?''Yes sir,' the student says.'So you believe in God?'
'Absolutely.''Is God good?''Sure! God's good.''Is God
all-powerful? Can God do anything?''Yes.''Are you good or evil?'
'The Bible says I'm evil.'The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The
Bible!' He considers for a moment.'Here's one for you. Let's say there's
a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help
him? Would you try?''Yes sir, I would.''So you're good...!''I
wouldn't say that.''But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed
person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'The
student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he?
My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to
Jesus to heal him How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'
The student remains silent.'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says.
He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to
relax.'Let's start again, young fella Is God good?''Er.yes,' the
student says.'Is Satan good?'The student doesn't hesitate on this
one. 'No.''Then where does Satan come from?'The student :
'From...God...''That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son.
Is there evil in this world?''Yes, sir.''Evil's everywhere, isn't
it? And God did make everything, correct?''Yes.''So who created
evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created
evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works
define who we are, then God is evil.'Without allowing the student to
answer, the professor continues: 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred?
Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'The
student: 'Yes.''So who created them?'The student does not answer
again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them? There is
still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the
classroom. The class is mesmerized.'Tell me,' he continues onto another
student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'The student's voice is
confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'The old man stops pacing. 'Science
says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around
you. Have you ever seen Jesus?''No sir. I've never seen Him''Then
tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?''No, sir, I have not.''Have
you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that
matter?''No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.''Yet you still believe in
him?''Yes.''According to the rules of empirical, testable,
demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say
to that, son?''Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'
'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has
with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'The student stands quietly
for a moment, before asking a question of his own. 'Professor, is there such
thing as heat?''Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.''And is
there such a thing as cold?''Yes, son, there's cold too.''No sir,
there isn't.'The professor turns to face the student, obviously
interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to
explain.'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat,
mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we
don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero,
which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such
thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458
degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or
transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit
energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat.You see,
sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot
measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy.
Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'Silence
across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a
hammer.'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as
darkness?''Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is
night if it isn't darkness?''You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not
something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal
light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you
have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use
to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be
able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'The professor begins to
smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what
point are you making, young man?''Yes, professor. My point is, your
philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must
also be flawed.'The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time.
'Flawed? Can you explain how?''You are working on the premise of
duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then
there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God
as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even
explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen,
much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life
is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive
thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.''Now
tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a
monkey?''If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young
man, yes, of course I do''Have you ever observed evolution with your own
eyes, sir?'The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he
realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot
even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching
your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'The
class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has
subsided.'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other
student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'The student looks
around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the
professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter.'Is there anyone
here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain,
touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir. So
if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'
Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face
unreadable.Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers.
'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.' 'Now, you accept that there is
faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now,
sir, is there such a thing as evil?'Now uncertain, the professor
responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily
example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and
violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but
evil.'To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least
it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just
like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence
of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man
does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes
when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'
The professor sat down.The student was Albert Einstein.

WHOS FASTER?

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about
who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and
frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God
said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am
going to give you a test that will run for two hours, and from the results,
I will judge who does the better job."So Satan and Jesus sat down at the
keyboards and typed away. They moused, faxed, e-mailed (with attachments),
downloaded, did spreadsheets, wrote reports, created labels and cards,
created charts and graphs, did some genealogy reports and basically, did
every job known to man.Jesus worked with heavenly
efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went
off.Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed
every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.Finally the electricity came back on, and each
of them restarted their computers.Satan started
searching frantically, screaming: It's gone! It's all GONE!!" I lost
everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past
two hours of work.Satan observed this and
became irate.Wait!" he screamed. "That's not
fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said,"Jesus saves ..."