Corky: Dangers can jump out at you

Surfing can be a dangerous sport – especially if you surf giant waves that would be up there in the extreme category. Normal recreational surfing not so much, especially compared with real danger activities like racing cars or motorcycles.

But, even the mellow, fun day playing around in small waves with a few pals can turn bad in rare instances. Freak things happen.

One of those things happened the other day to my pal Malcolm Pointon. “Mel,” as he is called, is a big, gregarious New Zealander who attacks surfing with a huge amount of stoke. The stoke almost makes up for all the times he drops in on me, almost. He is always smiling and happy out there on the shoulder in front of me, so I more than less give him a slide on it.

Anyway, so Mel comes paddling out the other day and I see him with that big Kiwi grin on his face like he had just spotted a good-looking sheep or something. I was riding a wave and he waved as I went by. When I got back to the lineup he was paddling in with blood all over his face. Evidently he was sitting there waiting for a wave and a big fish jumped out of the water and nailed him right in the chin.

He had to get 20 stitches and six pieces of fish bone removed from his chin. When I saw him later all I could think of to say was, “And that right there is one good reason I always order filet.” For some reason he didn’t seem amused.

These kinds of things happen, but it’s pretty rare. The worst one I can think of happened on the North Shore back in the late 1960’s to a dude named John, I am leaving out his last name to not embarrass him if he is still around and reads this. John was one of those dudes who rode super-streamlined boards and was fanatical about “going fast.” This was in the days of early mini-guns and he had one that was probably 15 inches wide and ultra pointed at both ends.

He also shaved all the hair off his body and wore the smallest “Speedos” he could find in order to go even faster. The problem was that he mostly surfed small waves at Chun’s Reef. I mean how fast can you go on a 4-foot wave?

Well one day John was paddling out and was pushing through a wave when an eel bit right into his cheekbone. It was so bad that they had to cut its head off on the beach and later remove all its teeth from his cheek in surgery at the hospital. I don’t ever remember seeing John after that. Word was he was “Eeled into submission.”

Like I say, these kinds of hazards are very rare and you can’t really worry that anything like this is going to happen to you. Heck, you are probably more likely to get hit by a passing goose, like Fabio did. I am sure you are not going to worry about going on rides at amusement parks just on account of that, are you? Poor Fabio, but that sure was funny.

The fish that hit Mel was pretty good sized, like a bass or something. The ones you gotta be careful of are the Needlefish. Those dudes are always bouncing along out of the water and they travel at great speeds. If you are surfing an area where there is an abundance of needlefish it’s always a good idea to keep your eyes peeled for any kind of flash of light aimed your way. Like I said, these things are very rare. But they do happen.

It’s funny, I never really think about the dangers from flying fish or even sharks. But what totally creeps me out is anything tentacles – giant squids and octopus. Eeeeeee. I hate those dudes.

I still get nightmares of some monster squid crawling over the end of the Huntington Beach Pier like some sort of aquatic Godzilla stomping through Tokyo. Now THAT is something to be afraid of. Very afraid of.