www.TheOldSchoolhouse.comof your children. They don’t get a differ-ent shot at a new teacher each year, hop-ing to somehow win the teacher lottery,and get one that likes them. You are it.Slightly modifying the classic Star Warsline, when it comes to having a teacherwho will champion them, “Mom, you aretheir only hope.”Okay, you’ve got the picture. If your stu-dents sense that they are special to you,when they know that you are on their sideand that you believe in them, it improvesthe dynamic of learning dramatically.However, if your students sense that youare against them—that no matter whatthey do, you disapprove of them—it de-feats any desire to try to learn.

As teacher’s pet, each of your children
would have the opportunity to thrive in
their learning experience. But, as you
may have already realized, this can be a
deeply challenging task for you. Why?
Because to be a teacher’s pet, the teacher
has to like the student.

This is where the rubber meets the road;
isn’t it? You love your kids, obviously, or
you wouldn’t put yourself through all of
the demands of homeschooling. But, liking them—actually enjoying being around
them—can be an entirely different matter.
And you can’t fake this one, because your
kids can read you like a book.

To find a way through that issue, let me
share a story I heard many years ago. A
pastor told of a couple who had been on
the verge of divorce, but had agreed to
make one last-ditch effort to solve their
problems. When they came to his office,
he asked them to each write out all of the
things that were bothering them about the
other. With great zest, they covered sheet
after sheet of all the wrongs done to them
and all the reasons they had for divorcing.
After they had exhausted every last point,
he then asked them to gather the pages up
and throw them in the trash can. What a
shock to their system! But, they grudgingly did as he asked, throwing away their
hard work and harsh words.

Next, he instructed them to use a freshsheet of paper to write down somethingthey appreciated or enjoyed about theother. The couple looked at him in disbe-lief, expressing forcefully that there wasnothing they liked about each other; thatwas why they were getting divorced! Hegently counseled them to think longeruntil they could find one thing, what-ever it was, and write it down. After along time, they each managed to findsomething insignificant about the otherthat they appreciated. I don’t remembernow what it was, but it was on the orderof, “I like how _________ puts the capback on the toothpaste.”Finally, this wise counselor told themthat their homework was to each posttheir paper somewhere where theywould see it several times a day. Eachwas required to read over and over againthe one thing they appreciated about theother. That was it—a very small, seem-ingly insignificant assignment.

However, focusing on what we like
about someone, instead of what we can’t
stand about them, changes the way we
view them. Several months after this
counseling session, the couple was not
on the verge of divorce, and they were
actually well on their way to having their
marriage fully restored. In fact, the pastor
told us, this couple really enjoyed being
with each other again.

This is a path we can take toward likingeach of our kids, as well. Regardless ofwhat drives you crazy about them, focusinstead on what you appreciate—even ifyou can only find one thing, initially, tolike. Write it down in a private journal,and look at it every morning before youstart your day—instead of rehearsing allof the negative things you want to changeabout them. Every time you look at eachchild, intentionally remind yourself whatyou appreciate about them.

Amazingly, it won’t be long before you
discover other things you enjoy about
each of your kids. The list will grow longer and longer, and soon you will find
yourself actually delighting in each of
these unique individuals that God created. When they know you like them—
enjoy them, appreciate them, and want
to be around them—they are then free to
thrive and flourish in learning. And that,
my friend, is the real secret for making
each of your children “teacher’s pet.”

A pioneer in homeschooling, author of
the Experience History Through Music
series and History Revealed curriculum,
and international speaker—four continents and counting!—Diana Waring cares
about how people learn as well as what
they learn. Follow her witty and practical blog at dianawaring.com/blog; check
out her fast-paced, God-honoring, sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat-in-suspense world
history products, and discover America’s
history through folk music in the new
Experience History Through Music series.
Learning has never been this fun!

Regardless of what drivesyou crazy about them,focus instead on whatyou appreciate.