His
Side

Ruling in High-Profile Marks Custody Case: Painful but
Correct
Perhaps in no case in recent memory has widespread media
sympathy been more misplaced than in the Bridget Marks child
custody case. Marks, who lost custody of her twin four
year-old daughters to her ex-boyfriend, has successfully
taken her side of the story to the public via appearances on
Larry King Live, PrimeTime Live, The O'Reilly Factor, Dr.
Phil and others

Granted, at first glance, the Marks ruling doesn't seem
right. The girls, who have been cared for by their mother
and were sired during an adulterous liaison with casino
mogul John Aylsworth, will now be raised by their father and
his wife.

The controversial Manhattan, New York family court ruling
runs counter to many standard practices of modern American
family law. For one, courts lean heavily toward preserving
existing caregiving arrangements by awarding custody of
children to the children's primary caregiver. Also, courts
generally award primary custody of children to mothers over
fathers, even when caregiving duties were divided equally
during the marriage. And when accusations of child abuse or
domestic violence are made, most judges prefer to "err on
the side of caution" by siding against those accused.

However, in this case, Family Court Judge Arlene Goldberg
made the correct decision. Marks alleged that Aylsworth had
sexually abused both daughters during a supervised
visitation. The neutral experts appointed by the court
concluded that Marks' allegations were false, and that Marks
had coached the girls to make statements corroborating her
charges. All three experts recommended to the court that
custody be awarded to the father.

Research establishes that children who are coached into
believing they have been sexually abused often suffer
damaging, long-term consequences. According to researchers
Julia A. Hickman, Ph.D., and Cecil R. Reynolds, Ph.D., such
children experience "many or all of the negative side
effects of children who actually have been sexually abused
and in many cases the effects may be more severe than occur
in some forms of true sexual assault." These effects include
severe depression and suicidal tendencies, disturbances in
psychosexual development, and a "significantly increased
risk of becoming victims [of sexual assault] as
adults if female and aggressors or perpetrators if male."
Goldberg acted correctly in moving to protect the girls from
these pathologies.

Despite this, Marks has successfully portrayed herself as
the victim of an unscrupulous, wealthy playboy and a corrupt
family law system. But Marks is no victim. Aylsworth never
sought custody until Marks made the explosive allegations,
and it is inconceivable that without it Marks would have
lost custody of her children. She would have had her girls,
the court-ordered $4,200 a month tax free in child support,
and all parental authority over the twins. The only
obligation required of her was a reasonable and appropriate
one--to allow her girls to visit their father and have a
relationship with him. Yet the court found that Marks had so
much "unbridled anger" towards Aylsworth, apparently for not
divorcing his wife of 34 years and marrying her, that she
did not and could not allow this relationship, and was thus
incapable of acting in the best interests of her
children.

For too long many family courts have been kangaroo courts
in which perjury and false allegations are not only
tolerated but are frequently rewarded. According to a study
conducted by Douglas J. Besharov and Lisa A. Laumann and
published in Social Science and Modern Society, the vast
majority of accusations of child sexual abuse made during
custody battles are false, unfounded or unsubstantiated. Yet
spurious allegations often devastate fathers and children by
allowing mothers to drive fathers out of their children's
lives. Goldberg's ruling sends a clear message that such
behavior runs deeply contrary to the best interests of
children, and that courts can and should act decisively to
combat it.

While Aylsworth has been vilified by Marks in the media,
the evidence is clear that, despite having an adulterous
liaison, he is a capable, loving father. His four adult
children and his wife all gave the court glowing reports of
him as a father, and, according to Goldberg, "all persons
who have seen him interact with the twins testified that he
is a very good parent and that the twins love him and are
happy with him."

Critics of Goldberg and Aylsworth are correct to be
concerned about the pain suffered by the twin girls
throughout this case. But Goldberg and Aylsworth are not the
cause of that pain. Bridget Marks is.

Truth never damages a cause that is just. -
Mohandas K. Gandhi

* * *

Glenn Sacks is
a men's and fathers' issues columnist and a
nationally-syndicated radio talk show host. His
radio show, His
Side with Glenn Sacks,
can be heard on KMPC 1540 AM in Los Angeles and on
KKOL 1300 AM in Seattle. His columns have appeared
in dozens of the largest newspapers in the United
States, and he has made hundreds of radio and
television appearances. He invites readers to visit
his website at www.glennsacks.com.
He can be reached at E-Mail.