Author
Topic: Damage done during a sleepover. (Read 55430 times)

A few minutes later he followed me in to the next room and quietly thanked me for telling him as he wouldn't have known or been told otherwise. He went on to explain that nephew has some issues and is also having problems at school. He didn't come right out and say it but I think that he believed that there was a good possibility that nephew was involved and he said that he would talk to him.

I agree with your assessment.

Are nieces and nephew's parents still married? That's not a good sign if they are.

A most sincere thank you to everyone who has taken the time to way in on this issue. I love this forum!!

I just thought it may be worth mentioning that I saw nephew's father this evening and told him what had happened last week. IMO, he took the news very seriously. He looked very solemn as I told him what had happened.

A few minutes later he followed me in to the next room and quietly thanked me for telling him as he wouldn't have known or been told otherwise. He went on to explain that nephew has some issues and is also having problems at school. He didn't come right out and say it but I think that he believed that there was a good possibility that nephew was involved and he said that he would talk to him.

I'm late coming on the thread and didnt take the time to read every reply but I did read some...at this late point not sure if op ever actually found out who did it

I know I'm really new here but I will add in my two cents also...I guess we all base our advice partly in our own beliefs and leanings...I have always felt a strong conviction to not take things at face value, things aren't always as they might seem to us

I guess I am of the camp who feel nobody really knows who did it. The op admittedly says she can't in any fairness say for sure who did it, but then goes on to say the nephew found the dog food in the cheesecake, as if that means he's guilty. I understand the point but one could actually say the opposite....if he was the one who did it, he probably wouldn't want to make himself stand out that way by findng it. If I put dog food in cheesecake, I wouldn't want to make it obvious by drawing attention to myself in that way. I might pretend to be asleep in bed instead,..so one can't say either way. Yea, it could look guilty that he found the dog food, but if you take it another step, a guilty person on the other hand might not want to look obvious that way.

I guess I am of the camp who feel nobody really knows who did it. The op admittedly says she can't in any fairness say for sure who did it, but then goes on to say the nephew found the dog food in the cheesecake, as if that means he's guilty. I understand the point but one could actually say the opposite....if he was the one who did it, he probably wouldn't want to make himself stand out that way by findng it. If I put dog food in cheesecake, I wouldn't want to make it obvious by drawing attention to myself in that way. I might pretend to be asleep in bed instead,..so one can't say either way. Yea, it could look guilty that he found the dog food, but if you take it another step, a guilty person on the other hand might not want to look obvious that way.

I disagree - the perpetrator knows who did it.

I also disagree about the "finding the dog food". In my experience, children often give themselves away like that. He/she played a joke for the reaction it gets, and if the discovery and reaction don't happen quickly the child often gets frustrated and "discovers" it him/herself to push along the joke and be sure to witness the reaction he/she wanted.

A most sincere thank you to everyone who has taken the time to way in on this issue. I love this forum!!

I just thought it may be worth mentioning that I saw nephew's father this evening and told him what had happened last week. IMO, he took the news very seriously. He looked very solemn as I told him what had happened.

A few minutes later he followed me in to the next room and quietly thanked me for telling him as he wouldn't have known or been told otherwise. He went on to explain that nephew has some issues and is also having problems at school. He didn't come right out and say it but I think that he believed that there was a good possibility that nephew was involved and he said that he would talk to him.

I'm glad there's one parent who's not a nut.

It's good to hear that your nephew has one parent who is addressing his behavior struggles. Do you have a way to contact Dad, should you need to follow up with kudos or more concerns after the birthday party?

I also disagree about the "finding the dog food". In my experience, children often give themselves away like that. He/she played a joke for the reaction it gets, and if the discovery and reaction don't happen quickly the child often gets frustrated and "discovers" it him/herself to push along the joke and be sure to witness the reaction he/she wanted.

Good update. Also good that this happened at home and not on the planned group vacation. I'd take it as a sign that no good deed goes unpunished and so it's best the notion of taking those kids on a trip with you is just not wise right now. Maybe when nephew is older. If at all. And definitely never with SIL, who appears to be one of those "not my child" parents who will never own up to the possibility that their kid did something wrong.

It could be worse. I recall a story a few years ago about a family that spent $60,000 trying to find how some strange person was controlling the electricity in their home. He'd turn could somehow turn power off and on, and would leave gloating messages on voicemail.

It was solved when one investigator put in nannycams, and found that it was the mother's teenage son. He wasn't happy with his new stepfather, or the home they'd moved into, and was trying to get them to move back to where his friends lived.

His mother was devastated. She said she would never have believed it was him without seeing the videos, "because early on I asked him if he was doing it, and he said no."

Logged

My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."