Critic’s Choice Awards Winners

If there’s one thing I love as much as recruitment season, it’s awards season. There’s something magical to me about celebrities getting together, wearing couture, and celebrating each other. It’s so indulgent, it’s so narcissistic; I love it. Anyway, the first ever Critic’s Choice Television Awards were last night. They’re basically the pre-game for the Emmy’s. So, for all of you TV fans, here’s a super brief recap of the winners/should have been winners, mainly because this awards show is pretty low-key:

The only show I didn’t like from the Best Comedy Series category was The Big Bang Theory, because I don’t understand why there’s a TV show glorifying weirdos. Also, I hate laugh tracks. Does the world think I’m so stupid that I need a cue to laugh? Community won, which I’m okay with especially because I feel as though Modern Family deserved a break from winning awards shows (ie, the Emmy’s sweep of 2011). I did however, grow to love HBO’s new series Girls, and I think Parks and Recreation has been getting better and better, so either of those would have been acceptable winners for me.

As far as the Best Actor in a Comedy Series winners, I have a hard time liking male actors I don’t find attractive, so Louis C.K.’s win for Louie, while well-deserved, was a little meaningless to me. As for the Best Actress in a Comedy Series Category? Lena Dunham was nominated, and while I really like Girls, I totally think that Shoshonna is the best character, and Lena Dunham kind of annoys me. Kind of. I didn’t know anyone cared about Julia Louis Dreyfus, even back in the Seinfeld days, so her nomination was just pointless. Anyway, Zooey Deschanel (who I absolutely HATE) and Amy Poehler tied (ugh) for their roles in New Girl and Parks and Recreation, respectively. I guess I can half approve though, because I love Amy Poehler’s character Leslie Knope. I feel as though she would have made an excellent President/Recruitment Chair/VP of Philanthropy. She would have also probably supplied tons of adderall, so…overall win. I’d bid her.

Ty Burrell won the Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series category for his role as Phil Dunphy on Modern Family, and I think it was well deserved because the terribly awkward and over-bearing dad that I’m so glad I never had is absolutely HILARIOUS. I would have actually loved to see Casey Wilson win the Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series category, because her character Penny on Happy Endings is a wine-drinking psycho, and I think we might be secret BFFs. However, I’m totally okay with Julie Bowen getting the win for playing Claire Dunphy on Modern Family. The Best Guest Performer in a Comedy Series nominees were: Becky Ann Baker (Girls), Bobby Cannavale (Modern Family), Kathryn Hahn (Parks and Recreation), Justin Long (New Girl), Paul Rudd (Parks and Recreation), and Peter Scolari (Girls). Paul Rudd won. Thank God. Because if his performance of Bobby Newport didn’t win, I think I would have questioned the judgement of every critic. Ever.

As far as the Drama Series categories go: the winner of Best Drama Series was Homeland. Bryan Cranston won Best Actor in a Drama Series for his work on Breaking Bad. Claire Danes won the Best Actress category for Homeland. Giancarlo Esposito won the Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series category for Once Upon a Time. For the second year in a row, Peter Dinklage was nominated for his work on Game of Thrones and didn’t win. I bet Snow White is super pissed. Christina Hendricks won the Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series category, and Lucy Liu won Best Guest Performer in a Drama Series for her Southland performance (I called it).

While I was pulling for American Horror Story in the Best Movie/Mini Series category, Sherlock won. I’m sorry, but American Horror Story was so beyond genius. I’m confused as to how it didn’t win by a landslide. Benedict Cumberbatch won Best Actor in a Movie/Mini Series (Sherlock). Julianne Moore received accolades for her satirical Sarah Palin depiction in Game Change. I was so disappointed that Gillian Anderson didn’t win for Great Expectations. She. Was. Everything. as a psychotic Mrs. Havisham.

Anthony Bourdain won Best Reality Series for No Reservations. I’m super upset Toddlers & Tiaras wasn’t even nominated, so I don’t care about this category.

The Voice took home the award for Best Reality Series-Competition. I’m personally a bigger fan of The Amazing Race, mainly because I keep trying to convince my little to go on it with me. We would so win.

Tom Bergeron and Cat Deeley tied in the Best Reality Show Host category (for Dancing With the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance). Apparently everyone loves dancing. I’m just a little upset RuPaul didn’t win the award for RuPaul’s Drag Race, mainly because I wanted him to sashay away (off the stage).

Late Nigh with Jimmy Fallon won for Best Talk Show. Sorority girls everywhere shared a moment of silence because Chelsea Lately wasn’t even nominated, and since we’re the only people who can really judge, it is decided that this category too, didn’t matter.

A show called Archer won for Best Animated Series, which is actually the code name for A Category I Don’t Care About.

Now, that all this nonsense is out of the way, for calls that would have been better made by me, there is nothing left to do but wait for the Emmy’s. That’s when all the fashion gets serious.