Michal, I'm so sorry you are having to struggle with such pain. I just wanted to let you know that I do know of someone else who has stuggled to balance the issues of her work with her own losses. She is a pediatrician and has lost two babies as a result of blood group incompatibility. She is a superb doctor and was a wonderful support to me when I was pregnant, and with another friend who recently lost her baby. I was and am very aware of how much losing her babies has cost her and yet she continues. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Michal, I am so sorry that you are struggling. I know of someone else who recently lost a baby to HELLP in Israel, they are in Modi'in though (I can't remember where you are). I know that they are meeting with a wonderful rebbetzin who they are very pleased with at understanding their issues. If you'd like, I can try to find the name of the rebbetzin (I am not sure if she's in Modi'in too, for some reason I think Beit-El. My mom met her when they were on a mission trip and that's why I think she might be from Beit-El. Our shul is twinned with Beit-El and they do alot of exchange/mission trips.)

I am sure that you've thought about this, but what about planting a tree on Tu B'shevat in Dina's honour? Please take care and keep us posted on how you're doing.

Hi Mical,
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. All of the feelings you are
having are normal.-You are grieving for your child! I guess it will time for us to make our peace with God and to trust his ultimate decision. If you send me your e- mail I will e-mail you something that I found on a website (I personalized it to fit me) on being a bereaved parent, which I forwarded to a lot of my friends. This has helped me tremendously. It has also helped them because once they read it they got a sense of where I was coming from.
Thinking of you...

Thanks for all the moral support . Yesterday at work was just the hardest day for me . When I arrived at my office , I saw one of my patients who is due in 2 weeks' time . ( we had done the IVF at the same clinic and had fallen pregnant at around the same time ) .
A couple of minutes later another really nice patient told me how happy she was I was back ,but did not want me to go away again ,on maternity leave ( which she assumed would be soon ) . I told her what happened and she looked so shocked and I just felt like I wanted to burst out crying which would have been so unprofessional .
The next patient , was a pregnant woman who is also due now , and wished me congratulations . By this point I was just finished emotionally , and I said , "no there is no congratulations" and changed the subject because I could not handle talking about it again .

Bonnie, you can give me her number - email it to my private email .
(hoppy@netvision.net.il) .We live quite far from Modi'in though , so I intend on making contact with someone in Raanana ( which is about 10 minutes from where we live ) . I have been seing a social worker who has really helped me a lot . I was in South Africa for the whole of January , so we have not met up again since I got back . We planted a tree for Dina before I went to South Africa . It is called a Chinese Lantern and has these very delicate peach flowers . Me and my daughter Tali made a little wooden plaque with her name which we hung from the tree.

Gloria , I would really appreciate it if you would send me the article . My address is hoppy@netvision.net.il .

I will e- mail that article to you shortly. I can relate to things
being difficult. I got a phone call 2 wks. ago from a friend in NY who was due after me. She called me to find out if I had
"gone into labor" this was so heart wrenching because I was
hit with the realization that I was robbed of something very
precious. I had such a hard time with this call that I haven't even
called back. Most of the people in my immediate life know. Others
I just can't call. I guess it would make it more "real".

Yesterday I went to church. I did well, considering that two of
my friends have newborns. They are both girls, and my son Josiah
was supposed to be their "boyfriend".