One Bite at a Time

Do you know when you are in a valley? By valley, I mean those times when everything seems hopeless, useless and impossible. Do you know when you’re there?

I have made many a large decision while in valleys; separation, moving, quitting something important to me…but I didn’t even know I was there. I had spent a great deal of time trudging through the valley in boots and a rain coat, slashing tree and vine, fighting tigers and snakes, until one day something told me to look up.

It wasn’t so much of a ‘something’ so much as a whole bunch of ‘somethings’. I was growing tired of everything going wrong, never following through and being the victim of everything. Looking up had to do with me completely surrendering.

The process of surrendering, though, was life changing; it started off with questions like, how could I possibly let it all go? All the hurt? All the shame? All the guilt? How could I possibly give it all up? Will it mean that I’m a quitter? Or a loser? How will everyone look at me?

But, life is always giving us answers to our eternal questions. I was at my son’s karate class when I heard, “How do you eat an elephant?” asked of all of the kids before they began their physical practice. The answer, “one bite at a time.”

Surrendering is about the cessation of resistance. After that answer came to me the process was and continues to be that simple. Letting go of, putting down and kicking out one hurt after the other.

There is EVERYTHING right with the valley, without it, we’d never know that we have to grow to SEE more, to BE more, to DO more. The valley reminds us to make the necessary shifts to become the greatest version of ourselves. Valleys and their subsequent messages are not optional, they are requirements to our growth. The elders weren’t crazy when they began using it as an analogy. They also weren’t crazy when told us surrendering would bring us peace.

The offering of today’s column is that you choose to recognize when you are in a valley. It is only from this point that you can choose to surrender and begin your quest of healing.

There are many ways that you may heal. Choose which ever path best serves you. Most of all though, trust yourself. You CHOSE to lower yourself into the valley, you can CHOOSE to fly your way out. And as my wise mentor tells me often, “Life is easy. Create yourself a one perfect one day at a time.”

Toronto Caribbean News is Toronto's largest Caribbean community newspaper focused on strengthening, building and empowering the community. We consciously choose to focus on the positives, deliberately showcasing success, highlighting the loving nature of humanity, advancing and strengthening the confidence of those people that are doing their part to make a difference, and shape the legacy of tomorrow.