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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Mental Clarity

Days later and I am still reeling from my vacation. Although I beat my body up, physically exhausted myself, and blistered, bruised and strained my legs, sunburnt and wind burnt my face, I came back with an empty head. Like all of my stress had been collecting and could only be released through physical exertion and adrenaline. I liked who I was in Colorado- relaxed, very go with the flow, and open to anything. And yes, I'm aware it was vacation and if it were my life, perhaps it would be different. Or I would always have that awesome release of the mountain. On the mountain, there is no time to think about the little things that bog me down. It is just me and the mountain, not me and my head. I can only think about myself in that moment. And even when I am taking the chair lift up, the only thing I feel is gratitude for being able to expereince that beauty in that moment. I think about my life, that one tiny dot and where I am in that moment of time and just how unbelievably blessed and lucky I am. I always feel this way when I leave Colorado. So it is hard to seperate what is the vacation afterglow from a desire to uproot my world and set it down there. For now, I think I am good in NYC, especially Brooklyn. I am on track and have a comfortable, happy, life. Perhaps I just need to take more ski trips or at least get outside more. Climb a mountain or two.