Besties: Bars

Best Of The Gays

Nightlife's preferred forms of fun

by Michael Flanagan

There is nothing quite as much fun as exploring other people's
favorite bars. So I jumped at the chance to test out the Besties, the annual
reader's poll of the Bay Area Reporter for
best bars (formerly the Best of the Gays), I was all in. Here's a roundup of
your best picks.

Best Gay/Gay Friendly Bar – Blackbird

Blackbird is a beautiful, lively bar with a very mixed
clientele: gay, lesbian, straight, and undetermined for both couples and
groups. I stopped by on a weeknight in the early evening to find it busy but I
found a seat at the bar right away. I tried an Early Bird cocktail (vodka,
elderflower, lemon, soda), which was light and refreshing, the perfect drink to
start off a night.

My bartender, Victoria, told me that the most popular drinks
are the Last Word, Black Lodge, Orchard cocktail and the Poached pear. The
paper drink menu changes on a seasonal basis (they're about to introduce the
spring menu) and there is a wooden menu at the end of the bar (which doesn't
change) that lists mixed drinks, wine and beer. The bartenders are as mixed as
the bar. Besides Victoria, there were two male bartenders, one with tattoos and
a beard, and the other clean-shaven. All were friendly and clearly enjoyed what
they were doing.

The bar itself is enticing, with rich tufted leather benches,
a pool table in the rear, and filament lights hanging from the bar. There was
an exhibition of Julie Bullock's photographic portraits which lined the wall (exhibitions
change about every three months) and in the back of the bar is a pool table
(which seemed busy) separated from the main section by a screen.

The crowd was about equal parts people settled in for a few
drinks and those in for a quick drink before starting the night. It's a great
place to people-watch and will be high on my list of places to return to. My
own category for this bar would be Best Place to Pretend You're in a Noir
Thriller. Happy hour is 5-8pm weekdays.

It's a week-in week-out event to see men waiting to get into
440 and hanging out on the sidewalk outside, with many smiles and no attitude,
save friendly among the attractive hairy lot of them. To get a better feel for
the bar (and not be distracted by wall-to-wall men), I went on a Sunday afternoon.
Bartender Tony responded to hearing that his bar had been chosen as the best
place to meet men by saying, "What's a ball gag between friends?"

The bar itself goes for something of a
construction/industrial atmosphere with chrome and back being the major colors
and red industrial lights giving accents. The weekend daytime crowd gives it
the feel of a friendly neighborhood bar. The women seated next to me gave
thumbs up to the Bloody Marys, which include pickled asparagus spears as a
garnish.

But really, it's all about the nighttime here, and with
theme nights like Underwear Night on Monday and the Outlaw night with gogo
boys, it's no surprise. Like the sign behind the bar says, "Area Closed:
Bear Danger.

I knew I was going to love this place from the moment I sat
down and my bartender Kat served me my favorite, Racer 5 IPA. Lexington Club
bills itself as "Your Friendly Neighborhood Dyke Bar," and they
deliver! They celebrated their Edge of Seventeen anniversary party on March 29,
and there are always things happening there. Check upcoming events on the
website.

There is something about this space that makes it feel as if
it is a holdover from the days of San Francisco's Barbary Coast. The red walls
and art nouveau grills on the outside of the windows remind me of no other
building in San Francisco more than the Great American Music Hall, which was
once a brothel. And it offers you the opportunity to make your own soundtrack with
the bar's jukebox. My fellow ex-Michigander Kat played Motown while I was there.

You can tell a lot about a place from the attitude of the
people who work there. Kat, who makes her own candles, showed me one with a
picture of Dolly Parton on it and told me, "Dolly Parton is my spirit
animal."

I have good news for you all – the energy and D.I.Y.
spirit of the women's community that was once on Valencia Street is alive and
well at Lexington and 19th. Go visit and marvel in it!

Having written about the history of the White Horse for BARtab
before, I wanted to get a feel for the bar as it is
now. I stopped by on a Sunday afternoon, and it's a busy and fun neighborhood
bar during the day, right on the border of Oakland and Berkeley, just north of
the thriving Temescal neighborhood. There is a friendly attitude there on Sundays,
and my bearded, flannel-shirted bartender Brandon was carrying on a lively
conversation with a patron who was going to Coachella (and trying to convince
Brandon to ditch his planned ski vacation with his boyfriend).

The bar reminded me immediately of the ingenuity of the LGBT
community, as there is a glassed-off area with a pool table area that opens
onto the street so that people can play pool and smoke, a rarity in California
bars. That area also has an amazing mural dedicated to the White Horse done by art
student and White Horse barback Kyle McCracken. Another feature of the bar is a
fireplace, which must be very cozy on foggy nights.

With festive weekly events like Thursday night's Thump (with
dance music and $3 Long Island Ice Teas) and the Rebel Kings drag king show
every first and third Wednesday, the White Horse is not just a bar with a past,
but with a guaranteed future. Check their website for weekly events.

Do you yearn for someone to bark out calisthenics
instructions? Do you think of gym socks and jock straps as the perfume of love?
Then this is your place. Since the bar opened in December 2012, it has had a
buzz about it, from its appearing in Sports Illustrated
to being on Chelsea Lately.

Obviously the owners know what they're doing, because it
started out wildly popular and the enthusiasm shows no sign of dimming.

From the waiters in jerseys to the lockers against the wall,
this place certainly has the right atmosphere. On the night I visited, 15 of
the TVs were tuned to NCAA basketball and one to the Golf Channel. Events here
include 25 cent chicken wings and a shuffleboard tournament on Monday, Bottoms Up
Bingo on Wednesday and gym class – free whiskey shots from hunks in jock
straps – on Thursday nights.

The one perplexing thing for me is the menu, which has
pulled pork sandwiches, bacon-beef burgers and "killer nachos" on it.
While it all looks delicious, you might need to go for a run afterward. So this
might be the 'Best bar to make you restart your cardio routine' (unless you
wear your meal off with someone you meet in the bar).

This category is a bit perplexing, as many transgender people
pass, and 440 Castro, Lexington Club or any of the rest might be an equally
good place to meet transgender people, as you wouldn't know who they were
unless they told you.

Definitional problems aside, The Café is a wonderful place
to see a show. I went on a Monday Night for a RuPaul's Drag Race
viewing with Mahlae Balenciaga and special guest Phi
Phi O'Hara from Season 4 of the show. It was a lot of fun and the audience had
a great time.

The open design of The Café and the central performance area
on the main floor lends itself very well to shows and the lines out front are
evidence their shows are wildly popular. There are great drink specials (Monday
was two-for-one drink night) and something is always going on there from the
show on Monday through Boybar on Friday.

Unlike the runner-up Divas, there was no one behind the bar
or working at the bar in drag. Still, because of the confusion among our voters
between drag and transgender, this might be the Best "that word doesn't
mean what you think it means" Bar.

Trannyshack has had an amazing lifespan, from its
roots at The Stud through its move out of the club to multiple venues. It's
inspired not only a host of other clubs, but has accentuated a whole style of
performance on the West Coast which compliments the New York style of events
such as Wigstock. So it's only appropriate that the wild mad fun that they
continue to share with the community should be honored as the best party and
theme night. Truly, nothing even comes close in terms of its impact. Among my
favorite Trannyshack memories are Vinsantos performance of Black Sabbath's
"War Pigs" at the Folsom Street Fair. Their events are mind-bending
and epic.

Heklina and crew continue their psychotic performance
rampage at a variety of venues throughout town in the near future, including
Trannyshack Reno on April 19 and 20, Daytime Realness at El Rio on April 20
(Easter Sunday), and their ever-spectacular Madonna tribute at the DNA Lounge
on Sunday May 25. If you haven't seen a Trannyshack performance, you need to
have your nurse wheel you into the next one (because if you aren't in extended
care, I can't imagine you haven't been yet). And if you have been,
then you know that you owe it to yourself to catch the next wave of fun with
this crazy crew.

Best Bang for your Buck, Best Bar with a Patio, Best
Neighborhood Bar, Best Bar with a Pool Table – Pilsner Inn

The Pilsner obviously does quadruple duty with people voting
in our poll, and it's no wonder. With the recent remodel, the bar offers a wide
variety of bears...er beers on tap, and there are nightly specials (I had a Moose
Drool, which was on special the night I visited), so it's easy to understand
its winning the Bang for Your Buck category.

The lush patio is always lively, and with a special section
for non-smokers, it shows ingenuity in its design. The bar is busy throughout
the day, so it's also clear why the bar won the best neighborhood bar category.
The pool table is always busy, so again, it's a natural winner.

Think of the Pilsner as the Best 'and the Rest are Here on
Gilligan's Isle' bar.