Hi I have a terrible anxiety issue about getting my haircut. And have done for a long time.

I am a social anxiety sufferer and have been for years, and so when I go to get my haircut I feel scared, pathetic and vulnerable.

Because I very concious of my appearance I now choose to go to a proper salon and have my 'Gents' cut done by a professional, it only costs about £5 more than the barbers and the cut gives me more confidence.

The problem is I panic when I get my haircut and I hate it, I hate to look in the mirror, I can't talk to the hairdresser with confidence, I get major hot flushes and I feel terribly nauseas the whole time. Because of this I feel like a burden on the person cutting my hair, and always leave feeling embarrassed and tell myself I will feel better next time I get it done, but this never happens. =( I hate it

(Original post by CreedofMaurus)
Have you always been scared to cut your hair, if not when did it start? why can't you look in the mirror?

I'm not scared of the act of having my haircut, it is an issue related to my social anxiety as it feels so awkward, I am in the midst of an anxiety attack and I feel so exposed. I can't stand to look in the mirror because I look so ugly, the lights are really bright and my complexion is either very red or very pale. It's like torture for half an hour

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not scared of the act of having my haircut, it is an issue related to my social anxiety as it feels so awkward, I am in the midst of an anxiety attack and I feel so exposed. I can't stand to look in the mirror because I look so ugly, the lights are really bright and my complexion is either very red or very pale. It's like torture for half an hour

Do you go to the same stylist each time? I use to hate having my haircut for differing reason though, anyway I managed to gain confidence by becoming a regular at the same stylist who I've become friends with/ I know it's hard but know this people are not concentrating on you if anything the main thing they are looking at is your hair and only that.

I have similar issues with anxiety, my mum still cuts my hair and I'm 21

Just think, those hairdressers have to cut hair all day, every day. They won't be judging you or taking any real notice of you - their small talk is just the same questions they ask everyone that comes in. Even if you feel embarassed on the inside, in my experience it never really shows to anyone. You'd be surprised how little notice people take of you.

Probably stating the obvious but I guess getting to the root of your anxiety would help - I've never seen a professional but I'm sure they'd help you much more than anyone on here.

(Original post by mistermojo)
I have similar issues with anxiety, my mum still cuts my hair and I'm 21

Just think, those hairdressers have to cut hair all day, every day. They won't be judging you or taking any real notice of you - their small talk is just the same questions they ask everyone that comes in. Even if you feel embarassed on the inside, in my experience it never really shows to anyone. You'd be surprised how little notice people take of you.

Probably stating the obvious but I guess getting to the root of your anxiety would help - I've never seen a professional but I'm sure they'd help you much more than anyone on here.

(Original post by CreedofMaurus)
Do you go to the same stylist each time? I use to hate having my haircut for differing reason though, anyway I managed to gain confidence by becoming a regular at the same stylist who I've become friends with/ I know it's hard but know this people are not concentrating on you if anything the main thing they are looking at is your hair and only that.

To be honest I feel just as anxious with anyone who cuts my hair, so I chose to go somewhere that guarantees me a nice haircut, this gives me more confidence in normal life.

I think because I have social anxiety anyway, that I don't really have the opportunity to overcome my anxiety in the salon as I am only their once every 6 weeks, I just can't stand how the anxiety makes me feel and I know I come across as scared or fearful which I think even makes it awkward for them.

(Original post by mistermojo)
I have similar issues with anxiety, my mum still cuts my hair and I'm 21

Just think, those hairdressers have to cut hair all day, every day. They won't be judging you or taking any real notice of you - their small talk is just the same questions they ask everyone that comes in. Even if you feel embarassed on the inside, in my experience it never really shows to anyone. You'd be surprised how little notice people take of you.

Probably stating the obvious but I guess getting to the root of your anxiety would help - I've never seen a professional but I'm sure they'd help you much more than anyone on here.

Thanks, but I can't even manage the small talk. I am such a nervous wreck that I can't even think straight or put my thoughts into words. I don't really know what to do, I just wish it wasn't so hard for me

I have had CBT but it doesn't really allow me to overcome this particular issue

Huh? I'm just trying to make the guy feel better, plus it's easier and cheaper seeing as I keep my hair really short.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks, but I can't even manage the small talk. I am such a nervous wreck that I can't even think straight or put my thoughts into words. I don't really know what to do, I just wish it wasn't so hard for me

I have had CBT but it doesn't really allow me to overcome this particular issue

Man, I definitely know what you mean. Sometimes if people spoke to me I'd just freeze and be totally unable to answer them I found putting myself outside of my comfort zone made it better over time, once I made a few friends at uni and got a job I got some 'practice' at small talk. I'm not really sure what to suggest really as something different might work better for you.

I'm a guy and I have an anxiety problem at the barbers too but i'm not sure if it is the same as yours. I have social anxiety generally and I get really nervous going to the barbers, before I go I practice what I'm going to say like 20 times and because of my anxiety I am always too scared to actually say what I want I just say 'can I have a 6 on top and a 4 back and sides' because that's all I am used to saying and I always hate it when I get it cut because its way too short so I always get my hair cut at the start of the holidays or half term so I have at least a week for it to grow longer. I have searched endlessly online for information about hair cuts so I could know what to ask my barber for but I think all the sites I find must be American because according to them A '6' is not short at all.

I hate it so much, whenever my friends get a haircut it looks fine, its medium length and I ask them 'what did you ask for at the barbers?' and they say 'I dunno I just asked for the usual'.

I want to say 'just a trim please' or 'not too short' but I guess I worry that it will invite more questions and they will need me to be more specific and I will not know that to say. Every time I go I am always thinking about saying 'just a trim please' and I am even thinking about saying that as I go to sit down on the chair but when they ask me what I want I just say '6 on top 4 back and sides please'. And of course no conversation is ever made during the cut.

Sorry I couldn't be of help but I just wanted to let you know your not the only one who feels anxiety at the hairdressers and you asked if anyone could relate. I guess the only thing that might help would be to consider if you do have social anxiety and if so try to combat it I should probably try that but I am just hoping that all my social anxiety problems will go away when I go to uni and I have a fresh start.

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a guy and I have an anxiety problem at the barbers too but i'm not sure if it is the same as yours. I have social anxiety generally and I get really nervous going to the barbers, before I go I practice what I'm going to say like 20 times and because of my anxiety I am always too scared to actually say what I want I just say 'can I have a 6 on top and a 4 back and sides' because that's all I am used to saying and I always hate it when I get it cut because its way too short so I always get my hair cut at the start of the holidays or half term so I have at least a week for it to grow longer. I have searched endlessly online for information about hair cuts so I could know what to ask my barber for but I think all the sites I find must be American because according to them A '6' is not short at all.

I hate it so much, whenever my friends get a haircut it looks fine, its medium length and I ask them 'what did you ask for at the barbers?' and they say 'I dunno I just asked for the usual'.

I want to say 'just a trim please' or 'not too short' but I guess I worry that it will invite more questions and they will need me to be more specific and I will not know that to say. Every time I go I am always thinking about saying 'just a trim please' and I am even thinking about saying that as I go to sit down on the chair but when they ask me what I want I just say '6 on top 4 back and sides please'. And of course no conversation is ever made during the cut.

Sorry I couldn't be of help but I just wanted to let you know your not the only one who feels anxiety at the hairdressers and you asked if anyone could relate. I guess the only thing that might help would be to consider if you do have social anxiety and if so try to combat it I should probably try that but I am just hoping that all my social anxiety problems will go away when I go to uni and I have a fresh start.

Thanks, I used to be the same. I would always visit the barbers and come out thinking it was too short. I eventually managed to say just a light trim, and my barber did manage to give me a cut I was more satisfied with, but eventually I decided that I'd been to this barber too many times whilst demonstrating my high level awkwardness, and I felt too embarrassed to continue going. (it might help if you tell the barber you want a light trim, just an inch off and a scissor cut rather than an electric trimmer cut).

So I thought about going to a new barber but decided that if I am going put myself through torture having a haircut, I may as well get it done properly so I now go to a proper salon who give me a good cut no matter what, but it's still awkward which I hate.

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not scared of the act of having my haircut, it is an issue related to my social anxiety as it feels so awkward, I am in the midst of an anxiety attack and I feel so exposed. I can't stand to look in the mirror because I look so ugly, the lights are really bright and my complexion is either very red or very pale. It's like torture for half an hour