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1) post any joke that is related to chuck norris in someway2) do not say the same jokes twice.. please read other joeks b4 posting..3) we want to get as many as we can so even post the cheese ones lol4) ... oh yah im thinking of rules5) feel free to make up your own or tell some you have heard, be creative6) have fun!

3 ) Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

4 ) If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

5 ) Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

6 ) When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

7 ) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

8 ) Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

9 ) They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

10 ) A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

omfg tht is so funny i was just sitting in my room laughing when i read the 1 by brittni "Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier" it is random lol it cracks me up

3.Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

4.Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

5.There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

6.The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

7.Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

8.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

9.Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

10. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

11.Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

12.Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

13.What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

14.A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.