Tomorrow begins that most wonderful time of the semester when self-identified artsy kids are pitted against each other in the Coliseum of Talent that we know as auditions. Our performance club/student ratio is like 12:1, so it’s pretty easy to get overwhelmed about what auditions are happening when/where. And since our student announcement system is still ass, we figured we’d compile the info for a capella and comedy auditions. Obviously there are other groups who have auditions in the upcoming week(s), but I didn’t get any Facebook invites to those, so it’s their fucking loss.

Pretty sure all these guys graduated, but the point still stands.

A Capella Groups: (They’re literally all tomorrow in the same two-hour time slot, and some of them conflict, but I guess you figure it out? Sounds like some Pitch Perfect level shit to me.)

The Accents (all female; quirky; definitely cooler than you): 9/8 @ 7pm. Somewhere on the first floor of Bolton. Bring a verse and chorus of two songs. None of that stupid musical theater Wicked shit.

The Bandersnatchers (all male; 95% sure they’re sponsored by Vineyard Vines; “sounds good to me”; 9/8 @ 7pm. Wilson Chapel. Bring a verse and chorus of a song. But not this one.

The Drastic Measures (co-ed; they win at festivals occasionally; proceeds benefit local charities, which is 85% cool and 15% annoying): 9/8 @ 7pm. Bolton 102. Bring a verse and chorus of a song you like.

The Sonneteers (all female; the oldest club on campus or something; they wear pretty dresses and no shoes because, well, art; they still kind of intimidate me, but pretty and talented girls tend to do that to me): 9/8 @ 7pm. Bolton 100. No info on the FB event, but I’m guessing you should bring a verse and chorus of a song you like. Or maybe they’ll make you yodel. I don’t know. You probably have eyes. Read one of the posters.

Comedy Groups:

Skidomedy (sketch/videos; smart comedy; pretty sure they only have one audition per year; seem like the popular/pretty older sister of the comedy groups): Monday, 9/8 & Tuesday, 9/9 @10:30 pm. Falstaff’s. Go to either or both. I auditioned once and didn’t get in and I’m fucking hilarious. So good luck.

The Sketchies(sketch/videos; wear all black; pretty dark humor, probably because they still have some dark shit from high school still festering in them): Thursday, 9/11 @ 10pm. Upstairs of the JKB. Bring lots of incest jokes or something.

The Ad-Libs (improv; officially called “The Ad-Liberal Artists” but they only ever go by “Ad-Libs,” probably because the former is a dumb name; play a lot improv games): Friday, 9/12 @ 3:30pm. Upstairs of the JKB Theater. Just show up and do improv, I guess? They also have their “newbie show” this Saturday, 9/13 @ 10pm in the Wiecking basement. They’re usually shitfaced at this.

Awkward Kids Talking(AKT) (improv; does short and long form games like creating entire movies live and from scratch; also holds open improv rehearsals on Sundays, which is pretty dope): Friday, 9/19 @ 3:30pm & 6pm. Upstairs of the JKB. Show up and be funny.

Best of luck if you’ve conjured the courage to audition for any clubs this week. If you want the advice of someone who’s never gotten into one of these things, just go to all of them and see what happens. If you’re here, odds are you were probably hot shit in high school–and a part of you might think you’ll be hot shit here at Skidmore. And you might be right. But there will be approximately a fuck-ton of people auditioning for these groups, so shit can get selective. So it’s better to audition for too many and have to choose than to put all your money on getting into that one group you may or may not actually gel with.

And if you don’t get in to any of the groups this semester, you can always audition next semester. Plus you can still go to the shows and get invited to their after-parties! And unlike the hockey team’s parties, they’re not a fucking creepfest.

You know the deal. Kind of. The annual Club Showcase is tonight at 5pm and 8pm. This event is the newest manifestation of Freshman Showcase, which was when has previously been when every freshman crowded into the JKB, all the performance clubs would do something impressive for a couple minutes, the Banderstatchers would perform that one song, and, most notably, members of SGA would moonlight as emcees and make some cripplingly painful puns about whatever club was about to perform.

This year is a little different, however, as they’re not only moving the event to the more performance friendly Ladd Concert Hall in Zankel, but the event is now officially open to all students. But odds are pretty high that the Banders will still be performing that one song.

Club showcase will look nothing like this.

There are two shows, one at 5pm and one at 8pm. Freshmen will get priority tickets from their Peer Mentors, but at some point the rest of the community will be able to get in and watch the show. Most of the clubs are desperate for people to audition, so you know the clubs will only show their best shit, so if you’re going to get your fill of acapella or comedy or whatever else qualifies as “performance” these days, this is your best bet. At the very least, you’ll have some legitimate grounds to shit on these clubs once you start getting blasted with invites to their Facebook events.

The Skidmore Photography Club decided to take a new approach to the Skidmore Spur this year. What’s usually a calendar featuring Skidmore clubs tastefully in the nude is now an artfully done magazine–still featuring Skidmore clubs tastefully in the nude…except Circus Club, their photo spread and poses are utterly raunchy. The Spur features around 15 clubs, including The Outing Club (Skidmore’s most butt naked-friendly club on campus) Bare, EAC, Chess Club, Sonneteers, and more. The Photography Club hopes to include all campus clubs in the future. It’s available for purchase on the second floor of Case Center for 10 dollars, SkidCard accepted.