This blog will post detailed news items about GLBT issues. Some of the issues include the "don't ask don't tell" policy for gays in the military, and gay marriage. Please note that my main website is DOASKDOTELL.COM (link on my Profile).

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About Me

Since the 1990s I have been very involved with fighting the military "don't ask don't tell" policy for gays in the military, and with First Amendment issues. Best contact is 571-334-6107 (legitimate calls; messages can be left; if not picked up retry; I don't answer when driving) Three other url's: doaskdotell.com, billboushka.com johnwboushka.com Links to my URLs are provided for legitimate content and user navigation purposes only.
My legal name is "John William Boushka" or "John W. Boushka"; my parents gave me the nickname of "Bill" based on my middle name, and this is how I am generally greeted. This is also the name for my book authorship. On the Web, you can find me as both "Bill Boushka" and "John W. Boushka"; this has been the case since the late 1990s. Sometimes I can be located as "John Boushka" without the "W." That's the identity my parents dealt me in 1943!

Are men who appear physically competitive (and that’s
somewhat in the eye of the beholder) more likely to have done so? My own impression, not very scientific, is,
yes.

There is a short film on the topic, “Gayby”, which I have
seen; I haven’t seen the featured made from it. (See movies blog, Sept. 12, 2010.)

In the soap opera “Days of our Lives”, Will Horton (who is
supposed to be 19, and is played by Chandler Massey) started a “relationship”
with Sonny Kiriakas (Freddie Smith) last
fall. But, partly in order to please his
father (Lucas) that he is a “man”, Will had relations with an old high school
girl frield Gab n a sudden encounter.
Pregnancy resulted. Another
character, Nick Fallon (his is a long story, and the writers made a formerly
likable geek a jerk) wants to marry Gabi
and raise the child as his. (Neither Will nor Nick understand how Gabi harmed
Melanie and Chad, and that’s another subplot. This is a long, typically
complicated soap opera plot that can play the ”gay boy” angle, maybe for
ratings. Readers can go to “Soap Opera
Fan” (link) for details.)

The interesting point is that Will (and Chandler Massey has
succeeded in getting audiences to really bond with the character) had “come out”
(through a long, convoluted sequence) and then suddenly consummated a
relationship with Gabi, which he apparently never done before when he was actually
dating her. Will goes along with Nick’s
desire to let Nick pretend it is his, but then changes his mind after Chad
forces the issue. Nick makes a lot of
protecting his pregnant bride-to-me and the life within, but suddenly Will,
when he goes to the sonogram, feels attached to the baby, although not to Gabi.

It’s interesting to me that I’ve never experienced
comparable feelings. I tried
heterosexual dating for about five months in the latter part of 1971, with two
women, about ten dates. Nothing close to
any kind of intimacy ever happened. And
I don’t detect the capacity in myself for these sorts of feelings as I see with
Nick and now Will in “Days”.

Maybe there is something to the “epigenetics” and hypothalamus
theory, that leads some men not to feel much instinct for reproduction and
their own biological potential. But Will
seems to have that link, but his capacity for an intense erotic and emotional
relationship with another adult seems separated from reproduction, perhaps
based on polarity (although between Will and Sonny, I can’t tell who is
masculine and who is feminine in Rosenfels terminology. Both personalities seem “balanced” in
Rosenfels taxonomy, which makes discerning polarity more difficult.)

I say that I was lightyears away from conventional
heterosexual adaptation, but in another sense I was millimeters away. With slight changes in biology or
circumstance, I could have been heterosexual and wanted marriage and still
experienced myself as almost the same person.
It’s the “almost” that is tough.
It’s more or less a topology
problem of “connectedness”. I may be
close to the “reproductive” state in terms of a mathematical measure space, but
I’m separated by some kind of discontinuity or singularity. This seems to get into physics as much as biology.
Maybe quantum physics.

I have gotten the impression, at times, that others expected
me to exhibit the same sorts of feelings and passions, for real women and
babies, rather than the “upward affiliating” fantasies that I enjoy.

Maybe this isn’t a moral question but just a practical
one. The writers are clearly setting up
the possibility that Will and Sonny could raise Will’s daughter as gay
dads. (There is one mommy and “three
daddies”.) And Will seems powerful, able
to manipulate the normally self-confident Sonny by messaging Sonny’s ears! (at the
end of today’s episode). Sonny may find
that raising someone else’s child (which he is obviously capable of doing) as
an adoptive co-parent may be the best
way to make the rest of his life work.
And Sonny is no Jean Valjean; Will’s daughter will not be a Cosette.

Anyone could, even in the “gay world”, find himself stepping
into a parenting opportunity when getting into a relationship. In all these years of MCC, the Cathedral of
Hope, and liberal mainstream churches in Dallas, Minneapolis, and Washington, I’ve
never heard this point made in a sermon.

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