Monday, June 28, 2010

I am on a journey to capture meekness in my life. As I was searching for healing from a recent event, God boldly brought to my attention this need that I have for it. I am listening [sigh]. It may be a long journey but I am up to it. I am determined, even desperate to secure it. I have seen it in others, I have to have it for myself. I have learned so much about this word in my studies. Surely if I continue to seek it out I will find it come to life in my own being.

Meekness. It is not a popular character trait of this world. You don't necessarily get to "the top" by being meek, hence, many associate meekness with weakness. But the opposite is true. Jesus listed it as the third characteristic of the perfect man in his sermon of the beatitudes found in Matthew 5. It is an adjective describing Christ in several scripture throughout the Bible making it even more valuable to explore. So, this is what I have learned about meekness so far....

*Meekness is having a submissive, trusting attitude towards God and others.

*To be meek is to be gentle and humble of heart (Mat. 11:28-30).

*Meekness is manifested in its reaction to evil, it is anger under control.

*Meekness is a cure to bitterness!

*Meekness is a work of God's Spirit in our lives.*Meekness is endurance.

*Meekness is being willing to forgive.

*Meekness is never self-centered

Then I was taken to Psalm 37 in my study (Lord Only You Can Change Me by Kay Arthur) and it has the message of meekness spread throughout it's verses, especially when facing difficulties. I took it a bit further than Kay and I want to share with you it's truths. From Kay....

*A meek person trust and delights in God (vs 3&4)

*A meek person is committed to God (vs 5).

*A person of meekness will wait and rest in God (vs 6-8).

*A meek person's confidence is in God (vs 9).

* A person of meekness will be rewarded by God (vs 11).

and may I add.....

*A meek person seeks to live righteously and by doing so...

-she will be held up by the Lord (vs. 17, 23-24)

-she will not wither in times of disaster (vs 19).

-she is generous (Vs26)

-she is protected by the power of God (vs. 28)

-she will be filled with spiritual wisdom (vs. 30)

-she will put God's word to heart (vs 31)

-she will find peace (vs 37)

-God will be her stronghold (vs. 39)

-God will be her help and deliverer because she takes refuge in him (vs 40)

Can you see a beautiful picture of meekness here? Can you see the colors of Christ's spirit dancing along the canvas? When you look at Christ, you see meekness as it was meant to be: gentle, humble, loving, forgiving, intolerant of sin (controlled anger), wise, giving, and at peace. It blocks bitterness from taking root in your life, or as in my case it removed the roots that had already taken hold. It is fed by mediating and dwelling on God's word, putting His truths into practice and by trusting God.

Only God can make you meek. You have to be willing. I would love your thoughts on what you have learned in your life about meekness.

My Holy God, my Sovereign God, I praise you for the tools you have provided to lead me on this journey and the peace I carry that can only come from You. Make me meek but only for your glory. I trust you and accept whatever comes into my life as being first filtered through your hands. I accept everything that comes into my life without murmuring and without retaliation (and you know how hard this one is for me). Grace my soul with your Spirit. Cover me with your protection. Hold my hand and lead me on this journey. Carry me when I am weak. Strengthen me when it seems impossible and I have lost any endurance to achieve what you have commanded....to be meek for your glory. I love you Lord, I want to love you more and to honor you. ~Amen

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

We live in a world filled with a lot of avenues for finding healing don't we? There are more self help books on the shelf then we could possibly read in our life time. What about all the counselors, psychiatrist, and other therapist which are are in great demand-all because we live in a messed up world. They are good and I believe God puts them there to guide us towards Him but you know, I have to agree with Kay Arthur in my reading today...God is all we need.

He sends forth His word and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction. ~Ps 107: 20 (Amplified)

I have sat in their chairs, read those book and for a short time, I may have been comforted and even guided but many times I still found myself frustrated, fighting the same demons, not quite whole from whatever it was that brought me to that chair. It has been a constant struggle for me...this bitterness & unforgiveness. It has been one thing after another that has fertilized its growth in my life. Even when I have claimed to have given it to God it has remained rooted deep in my soul. I have struggled with alleviating this. Have you ever worn these shoes? Surely I am not alone.

Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. ~Jeremiah 17:14

Two things have become very apparent to me...finally. It is not rocket science. It is simply a part of letting go of our selfish pride and truly surrendering to God in all things. I personally have not gotten this right for 47 years. Until now...

First, you have to praise Him no matter what. There have been days when I have had to reach deep because I was so discouraged and disheartened. Recently I wrecked my car that I am not too fond of. I was hoping it would be totaled. It's not. I praise God for the wreck because I did get that loose piece of grill replaced on the front because of this. I praise God that no one was hurt, no tickets were issued.

You praise Him anyway. Then look for Him to work in it....the weeks we had the rental van worked out great because my daughters birthday fell in that time and I now had more seats to transport the kids to the party destination. Insurance is paying for the rental.

You praise Him anyway.

Second, if you are ever going to be healed, if you are ever going to be made whole, you must have the balm of Gilead. I have been studying Jeremiah. Those days are very similar to our days. Destruction and evil prevailed even in the lives of Christians. Jeremiah asked his people in chapter 8, verse 22

Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people?

Jeremiah was trying to get the attention of the people to turn away from all the other remedies they were trying in their attempt to find peace and healing and to turn to God, the ultimate physician and healer. Just like today. God's Word is the balm they needed for healing and the same applies today. And ladies...this time I am a testament to this!

After a devastation that so threatened my faith, I choose to read and memorize my scripture verses I had recorded in my spiral for this year. Even when I didn't feel like it, every morning I pulled out that spiral and mediated on Gods Word. It was amazing how scripture I had chosen months ago was now the balm for my wounds. I had recorded scripture to pray for each circumstance in my life that was causing me pain and daily I focused on it.It has been amazing how it has soften me and healed me.

I now sit here before my computer FREE. More free than I have ever been in my life. I truly can say I can account this healing all because of His Words. This nagging bitterness and unforgiveness had been replaced with a peace that surpasses anything I have ever experienced...daily.Words spoken last week that normally would have hurt were swept over my heart unoffended...truly unoffended.

Kay Arthur stated in her book "Lord Heal My Hurt":

"If God is able to save man from himself and his sin, if God is able to save man from hell, and it God is able to make a person a new creature in Christ Jesus all through faith in His Word alone, then can't God enable us to live above our hurts as we take Him at His Word? "

Take Him at His Word!!I did and it worked!! For 47 years I have known scripture but not like I do now since I started memorizing it a year and a half ago. No greater transformation has occurred in my life. There is no excuse not to do this. I even bought my husband his little 3X5 spiral to start His journey in this. I wasted too many years not doing this.You have to be in the Word to do this. constant repetition of scripture daily has an amazing affect. Meditate and dwell on it. Memorize it!

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. ~Proverbs 18:10

Kay also stated:

" Once the bitterness, resentment, anxiety, or pain is removed, there comes a new softness, a quiet serenity bringing new beauty. "

And that my friend can only come from God!

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever,” (Psalm 73:26).

Friend, who do you run to in times of trouble? Who do you run to first? Jehovah Rapha...He is your healer, He is the great physician. Run to Him! It's more than just praying though praying is vital. Dwell with Him in His Word and see what happens. I can promise you that you won't be disappointed. Be patient. It took two months for me this time but the healing has indeed come from Him and Him alone. I would have it no other way.

Thank you Jehovah Rapha, My Holy God, for your love, your grace, and your forgiveness. I fall short too many times but you are the one I can always count on. The wounds were deep this time but You were the strength of my heart. I have learned how sweet and how pleasant it is to dwell in Your Truth and to be healed. Oh Father, Help me to lead others to the "balm of Gilead"...your Word, your healing. I am your servant. ~ Amen

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Have you ever hit a down point in your life, felt so low, so lost, so alone, and so absolutely devastated? Have you ever felt that it could never get better, be resolved, or find healing? Have you ever felt as if you couldn't endure any more pain? That's what we, my husband and I, call "train-wrecked". Some may prefer to reference it as "ship-wrecked" or "in a pit" but it is all the same. Something you did or that someone did to you destroys any sense of worth or integrity you once held on to and like Joseph with his coat of many colors, you suddenly find yourself rejected, betrayed, and alone. It's a cold dark world, very lonely, and extremely painful.

When my husband and I joined our church 5 years ago we soon began leading a Sunday school class for adults. We found that everyone had a story of grace in that class. Some had been through divorce, some had experienced adultery. Some had lost children, others had children who were traveling down some pretty scary paths. Some had experienced drug and alcohol addiction prior to meeting God. Our stories depicted sin at its finest but we all had found that God's grace card trumped it all.

Jokingly one Sunday my husband referred to the class as the train-wrecked class. No one was offended. The name stuck and now there is a plate above the classroom door signifying this title. Train-wrecked...ruined...devastated...but not defeated thanks to the work of the Holy spirit in our lives. But it doesn't always work out that way for everyone does it?

Without the power of God's spirit in our life that sin or devastation can destroy you and literally take your life from you. It's hard to "keep up your courage...and have faith in God" as Paul wrote in Acts 27:25. Shock, disbelief, and the pain often blurs our vision to see God at work around us and blocks the ears of our heart from hearing His still small voice through those around us, from a song on the radio, or the words of another.

Having recently lived through another "train-wreck", I found myself in turmoil over what I knew I needed to do (and didn't have the strength to do) and what I emotionally wanted to do. My saving grace wasn't found in my church or the people around me, partially because I didn't reach out until I had had time to process it. I was humilitation so, instead, I buried myself in scripture. I pleaded for His truth and His light to guide me-not away from it-but to Him (Ps. 43:3).

Being so fresh from this recent "train-wreck", I have to say I would prefer not to have any more in my life time, but, the refining process does me good. Did I really say that? Lord have mercy, that's not an invitation for more! Yet, this peace and comfort I have today, that I finally grasped in a tearful fit, is because God answered my prayer to cover me with His Spirit.

James said in chapter 3, verse 4: "Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go".

When you think about the steering of a train or a ship it really is amazing how it gets around. When we are steered by God, covered by His Spirit, it is just as amazing if not more. And that was my prayer, even in my short-lived bitterness. I want Him to steer me not the "train wreck"!

We have had to close some doors in ministry for a period of time. I am already sensing why and where God is leading us, leading me. Though it is painful to "let go", my heart is excited for what lies ahead.

We did not have the support we should have had with this last "train-wreck". No 9-1-1 calls went out from our church family though they should have. In my humiliation I did e-mail some friend who lived afar for support. God knows how much I appreciated their words of support and prayers. The salve that was put on our wounds came after the infection of bitterness had set in. However, healing is taking over. God is taking over.

As I sat in our church pews this past weekend and felt the pain of these last two months, I noticed the tears in another ladies eyes on the other side of the sanctuary. A new face in our service to me. Why haven't I paid more attention to the people who sit in the pews? Then after my tearful fit that Sunday night (which started from watching a video set to Christian music showing the Gethsemane garden where Jesus prayed before His devastation and the tomb where Christ was buried and rose again) this prayer came to my heart...

"Father, help me to be to others what we needed during this difficult time".

The thought has come to me that maybe my eyes have been open to the "pain" of others such as what I saw in the pews. I have been selfish as I think back to the many Sundays at church I had been to busy to notice. Maybe? Right? Well, I plan to continue to pray this. My husband is praying this with me. We cannot lose faith...others need to be reached out to.Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith. Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme. ~ 1 Tim 1: 18-20

The refiners firer is good. It saved me from ship-wrecking my faith. His Word has been my healing and has saved me.

He sends forth His word and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction. ~Ps 107: 20 (Amplified)

Philippians 3:10-11, Amplified

For my determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly, and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection which it exerts over believers, and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed in spirit into His likeness even to His death, in the hope that if possible I may attain to the spiritual and moral resurrection that lifts me out from among the dead even while in the body.

My Better Half....

He still takes my breath away!

My Spiritual Goal's thoughout the years...

2015 I am unsettled. I want God more...Revive deep spirituality in my heart; let me live near to the Great Shepherd, hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls. "Lord, I cry out to you. I say, “You are my protection. You are all I want in this life.” ~ Ps. 142: 52014 Enough & Anchored: God is enough (focus) & I will be anchored in Him (action)."Lord," said Phillip, "Show us the Father, and that's ENOUGH for us." ~John 14:8 (HCSB). "[God's] hope is real & true, an ANCHOR to steady our restless souls, a hope that leads us back...to where God is..." ~ Heb 16:9 (The Voice)

2013: Diakono's Living-Loving Out Loud (LOL): having the heart to do something radical for God.Don’t neglect to do what is good and to share, for God is pleased with such sacrifices. ~ Hebrews 13:16 (HCSB)2012: Living Out Loud (LOL): Losing control for what God wants me to do!! ~ Isaiah 58: 10-12 (Message)

2011 Goal: A Godly Woman's Journey: having a fuller understanding and expression of the love of God. ~ 2 Thes 3:5

2010 Goal: To grow my trust (faithfulness) in Him and to Praise (thankfulness) Him more!~Ps 63:1-8

2009 Goal: increase my prayer life ~ Col 4:2-6

2008 Goal: heart, mind, & action of a servant~ Isa 61:1-3

2007 Goal: Freedom from my past ~Ps 40:1-3

Siesta Scripture Memory Team 2011

In 2009 I started memorizing scripture with Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory Team. It started a journey in my life that I now cherish. I didn't think my "older" brain could memorize scripture but it has and it has literally been my "life-line" in some of the most troubling times over these past few years. I encourage you to join us in this new year. Here are my chosen scripture throughout the years:

2015 Memory Verses: Ps 142: 5 (NCV);

Verse for the year 2014: “Lord,” said Philip, “show us the Father, and that’s enough for us.” ~ John 14:8 (HCSB)

One of my favorites...

To get your copy, click on the book and PLEASE remember to pray for Elaine as she journeys with breast cancer.

I am not a writer...I am a women of grace, who through life circumstances has learn what it means to live in and through Christ. I wouldn't change a thing in my life because of where it has brought me spiritually with my Lord (Psalms 40:1-3). I have a godly husband and a blended family with six girls!! I am blessed!! I am also nurse, an educator, and have served in youth and women's ministry. I started this blog years ago when I was active in women's ministry but life got difficult, and the pain and losses pulled me out of ministry. Though my heart longs to be back there, I have recently changed my focus here to be more of a legacy for our girls. As I grow more in love with Jesus every day, I pray and hope that I pass that on to them. If you have stumbled onto this blog, I pray that in my being open and transparent, you too see Christ in my living and are encouraged. As I study His word deeper, I strive to become more like Jesus. Therefore, my prayer for this blog comes from Isaiah 50:4 "Sovereign Lord, give me your words of wisdom, so that I will know how to comfort the weary and those who need to know Your grace. Morning by morning awaken me and open my understanding to Your will. Guide me to share it here".