7 Ways Peppa Pig is Pretty Much the Worst

When my daughter first started
talking about Peppa Pig, I had no idea who—or what—she was referring to. As a
streaming family, we don’t have cable. And since my daughter is only 4 years
old, she doesn’t tend to watch anything I haven’t put on for her.

I blame preschool for bringing
Peppa to her attention at all. Not because they're watching it there, but
because she picks up a lot from her peers. Someone at her school must be Peppa
obsessed for that bratty little pig to have found her way into our home.

Of course, the more she talked
about this show she had never seen, the more curious I became about what she
might be missing. So I take full responsibility for then making the mistake of
actually seeking out episodes to stream.

If I had known then what I know
now, I never would have taken that step. Because let’s be honest, Peppa Pig is
pretty much the worst. For these reasons, and so many more:

1. The Snorting

Is there any sound more
annoying than a cartoon pig incessantly snorting? Why yes, yes there is—the
sound of a 4-year-old trying to repeatedly mimic that snort (and begging you to
do the same) is SO much worse.

2. The Bossiness

I am ALL about encouraging leadership
potential in little girls. But Peppa isn’t a future leader, she’s a future
dictator—and so not the example of female empowerment I want my daughter to
have.

3. The “Bad” Episodes

My little girl
doesn’t get screen time without me being right beside her, but I do
occasionally let her use the iPad to navigate that screen time herself. So imagine
my surprise when one day she picked out what looked like a Peppa Pig episode,
only it turned out to be some really poorly made imitation instead. I
immediately shut it off and navigated to an actual episode for her. But days
later, I learned that there are a lot of planted Peppa episodes on YouTube that
aren’t actually Peppa at all, and are also nowhere near appropriate for
children. So, great… one more thing to worry about anytime my kid wants to get
her Peppa fix.

Thanks to Peppa, my
kid now believes that every muddy puddle she comes across needs to be jumped
in.

4. The Fat Shaming

The first time I heard Peppa make fun of
Daddy Pig’s “big tummy,” I immediately cringed and turned to my daughter to say,
“That’s not very nice.” Unfortunately, she was laughing hysterically. I am
willing to admit that THAT was the moment I should have put an end to Peppa
Pig.

Right then, I should've shut the show down and made it very clear Peppa
would not be welcome in our house again. But my kid was so happy watching that
little pig. So I ignored my initial instincts and tried to instead call out the
meanness whenever I saw it. I figured I could turn the whole thing into a
teaching moment. And I thought that was working, until my daughter ran up to a
stranger one night and gleefully exclaimed, “You have a big tummy!” I wanted to
crawl into a hole and die. And that was the first time I realized I truly loathe
Peppa Pig.

5. The Obsession

My little girl has been exposed to plenty of
movies and shows in the last few years, and she’s had a ton of obsessions, from
"Frozen" to "Moana." But something about Peppa Pig really seems to have stuck for
her. I don’t even completely know why—I don’t totally get the appeal myself.
But she’s actually convinced herself she IS Peppa Pig. And she wants all the
swag, from pajamas to coloring books. Her most recent imaginary friend also
just so happens to be George—and he has been doing everything with us as of
late.

Thanks to Peppa, my
kid now believes that every muddy puddle she comes across needs to be jumped
in. In truth, it doesn’t bother me that
much. I can always get her clean clothes, and she gets so much joy out of
splashing. But it’s springtime in Alaska right now, which means lots of snow
melting and muddy puddles everywhere.
By about the third change of clothes on any given day, I’m pretty much over it.

7. Peppa

Hands down the worst thing about Peppa Pig
is Peppa herself. That kid is a brat. She whines whenever she doesn’t get her
way, she treats her friends like crap and she’s a pretty terrible big sister.
So you can imagine how pleased I am that my daughter seems to be identifying so
much with this character who behaves in ways I would never want my child to
behave.

As far as I’m concerned, Peppa is on her last
leg in our house. I keep waiting for the obsession to simply fade on it’s own
(after all, my daughter eventually got over "Frozen"), but my patience is wearing
thin. And we’re about one more “big tummy” joke away from a complete and total
ban.

Which means I'm currently open to
suggestions for shows that might inspire a similar obsession, without setting
the same terrible example.