Monday, August 2, 2010

What Gives, South Dakota?

What's up, South Dakota? How ya doing over there? Everything all right? Are you keeping it real in So-Dak? I'm only checking in because according to Google Analytics, y'all still havn't gotten the message.

Did you know that North Dakota has registered a hit on McBone? In fact, all of the other 49 states have. So has D.C. Hell, even the ever mysterious "not set" has stopped by McBone three times. But let's forget about the US for a second. How does it feel to be lagging behind:

Latvia, where the people mostly speak not English (the official language of South Dakota and McBone) but Latvian

Qatar, which forgot that a Q must always be followed by U

Bahrain has registered two hits

So has Saudia Arabia, where it is forbidden to McBone

Georgia the state - 52 hits

Georgia the nation - 2 hits

You've got miles to go before you can match the United Arab Emirates (6 hits)

I don't know what it's gonna take to get you with the program. Perhaps this entreaty will suffice. Or maybe you're just pissed cause McBone's never visited South Dakota. Aha! That's it, isn't it? Now I'm beginning to get it. Yes, I think I understand. McBone's only been around since 2007. You've been a state since, what? 1890? 1889, you say? Impressive. Ok, ok, you win. I'm on my way. Get Mount Rushmore ready while I fuel up the McBonemobile. Prepare whatever other sights you have. McBone is South Dakota bound!

McBone List of Boycotted Substances

The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.