Getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder
Cheese burgers from McDonald's in the old fashioned
Non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers

I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam container right out the side
And there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do about it
You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why

Two words, nuclear fucking weapons, okay?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienanmen square

And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we've got the bombs, okay? John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen and as soon as we find the cure for cancer
We're gonna thaw out the duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower?

Well multiple that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be
I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes

(Hey)
And Lee Marvin
(Hey)
And Sam Peckinpah
(Hey)
And a case of whiskey and drive down to Texas
(Hey, you know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song pal

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)