The worldwide media blitz and subsequent record-setting ticket sales for Pumpkin Picking 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs made a third sequel a foregone conclusion. Unfortunately, even as production wrapped, we didn’t have much of a story fleshed out. Here’s what we did get:

1) Jaded superstar actor mailing in his performance, even as he belittles the work of the fresh young actors brought in to prop up the ticket sales.

2) Egregious production gaffes making it onto film due to the post-production budget being eliminated to pay for the cast.

3) Cast taking photos of themselves with every set piece and extraneous prop, desperately clinging to the dim memory of their careers.

4) “Hilarious” outtakes for use during the credits which will end up comprising 45% of the film’s run time.

Instead of Pumpkins 4, I’m thinking I may pull a Stallone and name this one: ‘James Henry’.

Piglet Out

p.s. If you’d like to check out the previous installments in the series, here they are: