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Six Ways Secrets Destroy a Marriage

April 12, 2017

A friend of mine recently confided in me that he cheated on his wife a few years ago. He’s been carrying guilt and shame over affair everyday since the one night stand with a co-worker, but he said that he’s decided not to confess this to his wife because it would only hurt her. In his mind, he has justified his secrecy as a way to protect his wife and his marriage.

My wife Ashley and I have worked with married couples from all over the world, and we’ve found that my friend’s decision to keep big secrets from his spouse is a commonly-held mindset. We live in an era where people value personal privacy over total transparency in marriage, and this secretive mindset is having some massive repercussions in the longterm health of our relationships.

Below I’m going to list out the reasons I gave my friend as to why he should confess to his wife and why a strong marriage should have NO secrets. I hope this list prompts you to have the courage to pursue greater transparency and trust in your own marriage. If you’re currently dealing with a crisis or breach of trust in your own marriage, I’d also encourage you to check out our new comprehensive online program for couples in crisis at FightingForMyMarriage.com.

Here are the 6 reasons why there should be NO secrets in marriage (in no particular order)…