10 Ways To Make Yourself Feel Better After Catching Your Wife Cheating On You After Like The Third Time

Published on November 9th, 2011

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When you’re reeling from the discovery of your wife cheating on you with yet another man, you’re most likely going to take a few days off from the job hunt and just veg out.
But is sitting around your apartment hammered, waiting for your wife to come home from work so you can scream at her / beg her to stay, really the best way to feel better?

Nope, so here are 10 great ways to feel good again (or at least until the private eye sends you a new batch of photos).

– Commit a “random act of kindness” for one of your friends. Maybe it’s just picking up some groceries for them, or offering to babysit while they go out on a date night. Whatever you do, just remember the time and date you did it so you can more effectively shove it in their face when you’re begging for money later.

– Indulge yourself: take a nice long bath, eat a bunch of chocolate, and shit in your pants.

– Write a list of your goals you set for yourself when you were younger, and then pretend you actually achieved some of them.

– Even if you can’t sing or play an instrument, make up a song! And make it a hit song that sells millions of copies and gets you tons of pussy. That’ll make you feel better for sure.

– Do a physical activity. And no, me don’t mean beating off. We mean beating off while you’re running away from the cop who caught you beating off in your neighbor’s back yard.

– Look at your wedding album. Think about how in love you and your wife were, and how, at the time, she had hooked up with a significantly smaller percentage of your groomsmen.

– Be silly!Wear a fake mustache and speak with a British accent all day. This should cover up major suicidal red flags ensuring your friends and loved ones will get off your back.

– Watch YouTube videos of people getting hurt, but pause the video right before the accident happens and just imagine that whatever trick that skateboarder was attempting worked out well.

– Whisper to your dog your biggest, deepest secret, then later act like that it got out and blame him for spilling the beans. He’ll be eating out of your hand (literally!) all day trying to make it up to you.

– Plan a vacation with your wife! One of those with a lot of hiking, a lot of wilderness, a lot of steep drops, and a lot of law enforcement that doesn’t give a shit what happened to your fucking wife.