Zack: Imagine the majesty of a founding document written by rainbow hand.

Steve: Maybe he used darkness hand.

Zack: He probably used them exactly equally and the Nirvana constitution is exactly 144 pages long.

Steve: Yeah this dude doesn't seem like he would be sloppy.

Zack: He looks like what a kid would draw if you described Dr. Manhattan to him.

Steve: You're back on the kids again?

Zack: Stop it with the passive aggressive remarks, Steve. If you want to accuse me of something then go ahead and do it.

Steve: Oh no man, it's totally cool. I dig it. Everybody thinks about kids imagining weiners all the time. It's not unusual or sick or disgusting or anything. People don't get killed in Iran or whatever because of that. It's America, man. Free country.

League of Legends has 600 characters and 11,000 skills. These are the only ones you need.

About This Column

Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.