Things you learn in the past 28 years

Since I be turning 28 within a few days, I decided to sit down and write the 28 things I learnt base on my experience.

1. You ARE getting older. Deal with it! It never bothered me when I was 17, in fact I look forward to being older than I was.It didn’t bother me even until I was 25 because I look younger than my real age. It was until I started to feel tired easily, or when chocolates and junk food no longer taste the way I used to love it that I finally realize the fact I am getting older. You can no longer run as fast as you could, or walk more than the road you used to walk in, and pretty much can’t do a lot of things as good as you used to be good at before. So learn to accept the fact that you are no longer as young as you thought you’d be and that’s okay.

2. Things don’t necessarily turn out the way we expected so don’t put too much expectation, be open for changes. I always imagine how I’d turn out when I reach my 20’s and wonder what I will look like. But when I hit my early 20’s , it didn’t turn out the way I expect it to be but when I look back at how and why it didn’t and finally see why it was better off that way, you start to see things differently and accept the changes the way it is.Sometimes you can’t always meet people’s expectation, sometimes even people you thought would never change, changed. Everybody change a little bit of ourselves the older they get, even if we think we won’t. Be it a good change or a bad one, it all depends on how we deal with such change. Sometimes its just the right change you need in your life, even though it means we have to learn the hard way, but if its too bad, perhaps its time to change things around and leave the bad stuff behind, For example, I was bad in math back in school and always felt bad not being able to score it. But then, i finally accept that I was never going to be good at it, and focus on the subjects I was better in rather than trying too hard on subjects that I was bad in. In the end, I felt better because I know now that it wasn’t because I am bad in math but because I was better off in subjects that doesn’t involves math like reading history books , or writing English essays and such. So when I applied for my degree, I chose a degree that doesn’t involve math that can bring out the most in me that will match my personality.

3. Focus on the good things that will lift you up and move away from negative things that will only bring you down. A lot of times I’d hit rock bottom about the things people say or do to me. Sometimes it bothers me so much I’d go depress for days before I can finally get back on my feet and stop feeling too bad about it. After encountering quite a lot of people who keeps on pushing your limits or stomp your feelings and do just about anything to your heart. I just had enough and walk away from these people. People who only gives you negative comment without giving any constructive alternative to whatever they criticize were either plain ignorant or trying to bring you at the lowest point so that you wont beat them or get too far from where they are now. So don’t bring yourself down to their level and keep on doing what you are always good at, but be kind to them anyway – revenge wont get us anywhere, instead it will only make us the same person like the person who tries to bring you down. You are better than that, so don’t make yourself less than you deserve.

4. Reach for what you always dream to do now instead of waiting for it to be done when you are older, because you will never get it back the way you want it to be. Time flies so fast that I realize that I am no longer as young as I thought I’d always be. So there’s a lot of things that I wanted to do but never did because I wanted to wait for the right time or until I am old enough to do that.But by the time I reach the age I wanted to do it, I didn’t have the time for it and forget all about it. Take the first step and improve from then onwards, its never too late to reach for something you always dream of.

5. If you love yourself, take care of your health from now, it will change your future health. You will thank the younger you for doing that. Even though you think you won’t get a deadly disease now or suffer on what they call ‘old people’ disease, you are wrong, there are so many young people now who gets diabetes early even though they live a healthy or unhealthy lifestyle. So check your family history and the kind of disease that is in your family and take necessary step to avoid getting it. Just because your family gets it, it doesn’t mean you won’t get it, sometimes its genetic, but sometimes, you can still avoid it. So , you might want to start taking care of your health as early as possible, one thing that will help you later, Eat your veggies and control your sugar intake. It will not just help you look younger than your real age, but also keep your health in good shape while your friends start to have diabetes, or high cholesterol, and all that.Oh and if you are smoking, try to reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke slowly, and if you are curious, don’t start – even if you are just a casual smoker, it can grow into habit if we don’t stop as soon as possible. You could live a little longer to see your children grow up and have their own children (but of cause death can come unexpectedly). Habits die hard, the older you get, the stronger you will have to fight it off. So kill it before it kills you!

6. Disconnect to reconnect The internet are both a blessing and a curse, use it too much,and you will miss out your life being online most of the time than actual conversation. So once in a while disconnect yourself from the virtual world and reconnect with the friends you haven’t met a long time, or go out and meet new friends,talk to your parents or elders as much as you can, find out their life before they were this old and you’d be surprised how similar you are with them more than you thought you’d never be. They were once as young as you do, so don’t treat them as if they don’t know anything. Believe me, they had those afro’s, long hair, pierce and tattoos, leggings or jeggings that you thought you first discovered. Most of the fashion we have nowadays are just a recycled fashion from the past. Try ask them some tips, they might show you a few tricks that might be useful in the future.Meanwhile, try to connect with those younger than you, generation Y as you may know them as, were as clueless as we were back then, only thing is that they grew up in a different environment than we had before. But it doesn’t mean they are any less, they just need a little push and someone to point the way. You’d be surprise how much potential they actually have in them more than you expected.

7. Its better to show how its done than criticizing on what people have done.

Everyone have their own way of doing things around, so if you are not satisfied by how people do the things you want them to do, show them how to do it rather than criticizing them. Just because its not done your way, it doesn’t mean that they are wrong, we just have different ways in handling it so if we don’t tell how it should be done, then you will never work it out. Working together can sometimes bring out a better solution. What is important is to get the job done, making negative comments wont make things better. Don’t expect people to already know what you know, we can’t read people’s mind, so tell exactly what you want in a less intimidating way and people would gladly help you. Its not what you say, but ‘how’ you say it will make a big difference.

8. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, there’s always another day to be independent. All you need to do is ask.

You’ll be surprised how many people willing to help you, of cause not everyone can help you, but there are people who are willing to help you if you allow them. But if you can’t find help from anyone, its probably because God is trying to teach you how to help yourself.

9. Never let people’s opinion on you define who you are. You define. There was a point in my life, I actually believe some things people think about me. It took me some years later to realize that what they thought of me were not true. Still, I thank them because it lead me to who I am today. What is important is how you see yourself, and not what others think of you. It is after all their opinion, not yours.

10. Sometimes you need to drop your ego, and make relationship work. But if it doesn’t, stop trying to make things work your way. If it should happen, it would have.

If you really care about a person, set aside your ego and focus on what really matters. But if they don’t try to make things work as much as you do, leave it. Don’t waste time trying to fix things that you cannot fix.

11. Respect yourself enough to tell people you had enough with whatever crap they throw on you. If they can’t respect you, then so shouldn’t you give them any attention. Most of the problem are created by people who is seeking attention to whatever miserable life they are going through. If they continue giving you the same problem every now and then, its probably time for you to stop letting them waste any more of your time. Its obvious that they are not interested in fixing their own life, so why bother?

12. Its okay to remove certain people in your life, you are much better without them

By cutting the bad branches, you will grow a new one in time, even if the one’s who replace them may not be exactly the person you once shared good memories with, but they will be much better than the ones you had to leave behind. Once a while you will find people who is toxic for you, they can be very negative in certain things you do, and pretty much determined to bring you down. If you have tried your best to work things out between you both, but still don’t work, remove them. In any relationship, you need to grow, so if you can’t grow healthily with each other, stop hurting each other and leave. There’s no point arguing on the same thing over and over again. These people will only hold you back, true friends will help you grow and not tie you down.

13. True friends are hard to find, stay true to yourself, the right ones will find you.

Its much easier to make friends once we stop trying to find a certain quality in our friends that meets our expectation. They never come in the same way we expect them to be, so are we to them. The best way is to just let things happens for itself, and be a friend. Maybe we will find that true friend we always wish for, maybe we don’t. What matters is to not let whatever stuff that happens before stop you from knowing new friends regardless who they are.

14. If you are good, you are good. Just do what you are already good at and good things will come to you.

There will always be people who will talk bad about you or try to make people think bad about you. Ignore them and focus on your life. You don’t need to bother about any of that, they are just distracting you from achieving your goal.

15. Recognize your weakness and turn it into strength

Admit it, we are not perfect. Accept that we are different than other people , its what makes us unique. If you tend to have negative thoughts about yourself,replace that thought to positive ones about yourself. Don’t let it stop you from becoming who you really are. For example, you need a certain amount of stubbornness to keep you determined in achieving your dreams.

16. Give up your expectations and be happy about it when things didn’t go the way we expect.We expect too much on people and when they don’t turn out to be the way we expect, we get disappointed. Learn to live without a certain expectation from people, at least you wont be disappointed and make your life much easier. And if it doesn’t go the way we expect it, be happy about it anyway. Sometimes unexpected things can turn out better than the one’s we hoped for.

16. Try something new. Be it a new hobby, new skills, a new place to eat, anything that you haven’t done before. You may or may not like it, but at least you tried. It makes your life more exciting and give you something to look forward to rather than stick to your daily routine. Mondays should be exciting new day to explore if you know how.

17. Take responsibility.

No matter how hard it is, you have to start taking control of your life. No one is going to do that for you. You have to figure out yourself what you want to do next, even if you don’t have a definite plan for your future, start drafting out where you want to be in the next 5 years and work towards it as you go.

18. Start saving

Even if its just a few Ringgit every day, learn not to save just for rainy days but your future. I learn this quite late, but its never too late to start saving. Don’t get yourself into debt too long, and pay back peoples money as soon as possible because we don’t know if we will still be alive to pay everything we owe to them.

19. Learn to enjoy solitude

Sometimes all you need is to be alone and just spend time with yourself. It will not just strengthen you, but help you figure out the things in your life that have been bothering you. You need to be able to silence your thoughts and be in tune with yourself to be able to appreciate your own company. .

20. Give up your expectations and be happy about it when things didn’t go the way we expect.

We expect too much on people and when they don’t turn out to be the way we expect, we get disappointed. Learn to live without a certain expectation from people, at least you wont be disappointed and make your life much easier. And if it doesn’t go the way we expect it, be happy about it anyway. Sometimes unexpected things can turn out better than the one’s we hoped for.

21. Facebook news feed are not reliable. Don’t share what you don’t know for sure. Always check your source and verify it first before sharing anything.

22. Resist yourself from commenting on unnecessary things people post on facebook. Hide their news feed if you don’t like it, unfriend them if they overstep your limit.

We tend to forget that there are real people behind the virtual profile we are looking at. So be careful with what you post and comment on peoples facebook, it will be such a pity to severe ties only because of some ridiculous things we post online. Its not even a real fight!

23. If its not your problem, don’t make it yours.

Sometimes you have to let people solve their own problem, you can offer them help, but you must also know when not to. Sometimes it helps by not helping. People need to learn their own lesson the way you did.

24. Its your reaction towards the circumstances you are hand over that matters

There’s a difference between being reactive and acting on the problems we are dealing with. People may give you a hard time, but with the right attitude and action towards it, things will get easier. Try not to take things at heart and be offended by what people say, its their personality, not yours.

25. There are no perfect family, you may not like each other but love them the way they are. They are all you got so try not to kill each other.

Just kidding. hehe. Each and every one of your family member are unique in their own way, they will get on your nerve, you will fight with them once a while, but they are your family. Thats all that matters.

26. Its okay to make mistakes, its okay to be vulnerable, its okay to breakdown, you don’t have to be strong all the time. It means you are human.

Learn to let go of yourself a little and allow people to take care of you once in a while. There’s nothing wrong with feeling weak, we need all the support we can at such time. And hugs can be surprisingly kinda nice hahahah (proceed with caution.)

27. Love is more than just finding the right one.

Instead, focus on filling your life by loving yourself and treating yourself right. The right one are probably doing the same thing, they may get a little lost themselves but you’ll find each other when the time comes. Learn to be happy with your single life and enjoying it as much as you can, your happiness depends on you not others. They are just an added value, but its you who owns your own value.

28. You will never stop learning from your life, trust me , there will always be something that will pop up in your life and turn your life upside down. We will always have to learn and relearn the same thing through out the year, only difference is it will be in a new form, new people, but pretty much the same thing or slightly different from the ones you previously had. What’s important is to not let our past experience stop us from becoming who we are, the choice we make today will shape the future we want to be in. Choose well.