Athens woman starts support group for those grieving over people lost to substance abuse

Reporter

An Athens woman who lost her husband to prescription drugs is starting a support group to help others who have experienced the same.

Krista Reed said it was a roller coaster ride trying to make things functional at home with a husband who struggled with drug addiction, especially with two small children and a teenager.

Unfortunately, Reed would never see the day her husband overcame addiction.

Michael Reed died of an overdose in 2011 after taking a mixture of medications prescribed to him by his psychiatrist. His mother found him in bed 10 hours after he had passed.

Despite a long list of prescription drugs, for the most part he seemed to be functioning at first. It was when his addiction worsened that Krista felt it would be best to separate, which seemed to put things in perspective for Michael. He worked a steady job at a restaurant in Athens and even went back to school. As time went on though, his addiction took over.

“It got worse, to the point where he lost his job because he was in such bad shape,” said Reed. “It was this push (and) pull of how to keep the kids OK and him OK.”

Despite their separation, Krista continued to talk to Michael. The last time she spoke with him was by phone. He wasn’t feeling well and she encouraged him to see a doctor, but he refused and insisted on going to work.

“It was clear to me he was on something and had relapsed. His speech was slurring,” she said. “I told him not call me unless he had sobered up. That was the last time we spoke.”

Krista said he would often take something and then forget he took it, so would take more. She said the most difficult part of dealing with her husband’s death was the stigma that surrounded it. That’s why she felt compelled to start a Grief Recovery After Substance Passing chapter.

“People treated me weird. I would join these online support groups for people grieving over a lost loved one, but they would be mean ... get angry because they lost their spouse or son to cancer or some other sickness,” Reed said. “That’s the attitude that’s out there; that they aren’t worthy of being missed. That’s part of why I try to speak out about it. ... This is the sort of burden society puts on us.”

The Athens GRASP chapter held its first meeting recently and Faye Flemming attended. Flemming lost her husband in a house fire in January. Tony was staying at his brother’s house in Snellville due to a rocky patch the couple was having.

Flemming said her husband was intoxicated at the time of the fire and never made it out.

“He was such a wonderful man in so many ways. I loved him very much, but it was hard to feel like he was choosing that (substance abuse) over our lives together,” Flemming said. “That’s one of the things about this group that is so helpful. You have to find a away to come to grasps with all of that; knowing that you aren’t alone and that there are other people dealing with the same conflicted emotions.”

Flemming said she hopes the group will grow and become a safe haven for people to be able to work through some of the conflicted emotions that come along with losing someone to substance abuse.

“I hate that his time ran out when it did,” she said. “But I feel like I honor him by remembering all of him and grieving all of him and that doesn’t take away from what a great man he was.”