Prostate Cancer Treatment May Shrink Your Weenie

Frightened by the idea of an urban witch doctor with a 7-inch long finger giving you your annual, white-knuckle prostate exam? You should actually be more concerned about the possibility of your penis shriveling up like a California raisin.

That’s because, according to a recent study published in the Urology Medical Journal, some men who have undergone treatment for prostate cancer reported that their penises ended up smaller than when they started. In fact, in a survey of nearly 1,000 men treated for prostate cancer, nearly 3% claimed that their packages were not hanging as low as before.

Now, while that figure may not appear to be substantial enough for any real concern, researchers say it is, if you happen to be one of cocktail weenies affected. “I think what our study brings home is that this is a real problem and it does affect men,” says Paul Nguyen, M.D. and lead researcher. “Many of the guys who underwent treatment for their cancer had never even heard about this effect—so this is something that we, as doctors, should be talking about with our patients.”

So give us the bad news doc; how much of our manhood do we stand to lose? Well, researchers say that if the incredible shrinking dong phenomenon does take place, it is possible for a man to lose just over an inch to the length to his penis. This loss can be crippling, considering most of us are only playing with a 4-inch pecker, anyway, right? Ahem. Right?

The moral of this story is: if you are over 40, you need to quit being a sissy and start getting your annual prostate exam. Sure the doctor is going to finger bone your bunghole; on the upside, they are supposed to use lube.