What are the 4 most important letters in the alphabet?

I was recently at a conference when this riddle was asked of me by a guy named Dave Ferguson. He is the pastor of a large network of churches in Chicago and the author of several books including his latest – Hero Maker. (Come join us this Sunday and you will get my take on this topic through the lens of empowerment.)

Answer: I – C – N –U

Translation: I See in You

As I contemplated his answer, I found that this resonated with me. One of the most important things we can do in this life is to breathe life into others. This is exactly what happens when you take the time to speak words of encouragement into someone else’s life. Throughout the years, I have had several people speak into my life – not in a weird prophetic way – but in a permission to play way. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be where I was at if those interactions never took place.

A coach who made me a point guard and told me to lead the team.

A youth leader who called me out on being more approachable.

A student pastor who gave me an opportunity to teach.

A professor who challenged me to reach further than I was.

A boss who took a chance on a young guy to lead their first multisite.

All of these interactions started with and I-C-N-U conversation and they have led me to what I am doing and who I am today. Every one of us desires to have someone else see the potential in us and call it out. We all desire to be affirmed, encouraged and even challenged to certain extent. The problem is that these kinds of conversations are far too rare and here’s why:

* People have to first see you in order to I-C-N-U: unfortunately we are an ever-increasing self-consumed culture that rarely takes our eyes off of self long enough to be able to truly see others. If we do see them, it is typically only in respect to how they can be of assistance to my goals and ambitions. We have to help people see people again.

* Proximity: we often isolate ourselves from others and even if we are not recluse, we seldom let people see the real us. Being close to others is the best way to really see them and let them see you.

* Permission: if people are close enough and observant enough to see you, they still might not speak into your life if they don’t feel that they have permission to. We need to be the kind of people that are approachable so that others can share the things they are seeing.

* Passivity: we often don’t think that our words carry as much weight as they actually do and therefore convince ourselves that it is not really our place to speak into the lives of others. We settle for a passive approach toward others potential instead of taking a proactive one.

So, let me ask you some questions. Are you seeing the people that are around you today? Have you taken the time to notice the potential in another? Do you realize that your words have more influence that you can imagine? Who is your I-C-N-U today?