The Practice: Just This, Just Now, Shoshin

As beginners, we are all nervous and filled with expectations.
Some of this is overt and much is covert. We all start out wanting
to do well. We want to know all there is to know
about this new strange way of doing things. We are competitive
with others. We are even competitive with ourselves. Some of
us are combative in nature. We tend to be aggressive in this
strange new place, or we may show the opposite by being shy;
and we are unwilling to commit or be open and vulnerable. We
all bring along ourselves and our baggage; both what we think
of as good and also as bad. We cant help it. We are human
and as such, we are fearful and insecure.

One of the wonderful things about this practice, this WAY
of life in the dojo, is that it shows us who we are.

Often we see things about ourselves that have been hidden to
us. We see things about others that help us learn about them
and, in so doing, about ourselves. This is all part of the practice.
It takes courage and determination to do this practice. The relative
level of physical ability in performing technique isnt
necessarily that important. Your commitment to the practice and
the process and your willingness to look at these things is important.
Always try to practice with an open, joyful spirit. Have faith
and develop trust in your instructors and teachers. Do not give
up your responsibility for yourself, and never take part in abusive
behavior (on either side). Your sensei will put you in many uncomfortable
situations but it should NEVER be for their own amusement or
power.

The ideal dojo is (as my son calls it) a dilemma-rich
environment which gives you the chance to learn and desensitize
...then resensitize body, mind, and spirit.

...not an empty cup, but an
expandable cup.

The Japanese talk about shoshin or beginners
mind. Many people think this means to always approach things
with an empty mind or they quote the old Zen story
of the man whose tea cup was full and could not accept any of
the teacher's tea. This is not correct. We must have an open
and educable mind while being responsible for what we already
know. As Nishioka Sensei calls it,...not an empty cup,
but an expandable cup. Another word in Japanese which describes
the necessary mindset for learning is nyunanshin or malleable
spirit. In traditional dojo, sensei would not accept anyone
who did not have nyunanshin. Of course the ideal is to keep shoshin
or nyunanshin all the time. A master budoka of forty or fifty
years practice who has done the inner or spiritual work, along
with the physical, will always show this willing eagerness to
learn and change.

One of the pitfalls in this practice is to want to be different
than we are now. We see some possible outcome of this training
and get caught up in being goal oriented to the point
that it is unhealthy. Forget the end of this journey and just
walk the path, one step at a time. You will not get to the end
in this lifetime. Practice for the sake of the practice.