The agony and the ecstasy… of thigh holds.

Okay, let’s play “why do Cathy’s inner thighs hurt like a mofo today?!”

a. She got that Suzanne Sommers leg squeezer mcgee thing

b. Loooooots of sex (haha jkjk, I’d have to have a life for that!)

c. Lay backs.

Great job, you guess it–I bought a Thigh Master!

Joking. I popped my lay back cherry!!!

Here’s what pisses me off about pole dancing: IT LOOKS TOO DAMNED EASY. I’ve seen laybacks and deathlays and inverts and always been like, yeah whatever, haven’t gotten to that yet, NBD.

Correction: such a big deal. I had no idea.

Let’s clear something up. When you see a girl flip upside down while holding the pole with her legs, this is what’s happening: she’s supporting her full body weight with what’s essentially the worst indian burn of her life.

One of my favorite YouTubers, Dirdy Birdy, demonstrates a layback.

Until a callus develops. So everyone says, in a reassuring manner. I feel weird looking forward to that because it sounds gross.

You guys, my thighs are both aching and burning right now. I don’t know whether to do ice, or Bengay, or just antigonize the blister on my wrist a little to confuse my nerves and makes my legs stop hurting.

And here’s the worst part: ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS PRACTICING LAYBACKS.

That’s pole, folks. Anybody who’s ever fallen madly in love with it can attest to this. This is why we’re walking around bruised up, pole-burned, and with half the skin rubbed off of our wrists. Because we’re dumb, and obsessed, and we ignore the pain. We love it that much. (Wow, this sounds a little like an abusive relationship, huh? Oh well.)

I kinda wish I had taken more pictures of how badly I beat myself up last fall when I was just starting out. But for now, let me start putting together a montage of minor injuries from the few that I have… to be continued!

PS. Remember to come to a class this Saturday! I’m teaching Intro and Spins–here’s the schedule.