Nothing has changed at the top. The Islanders and Da Pitch equaled each others totals – with below average scores – and so remain 41 points apart. The Islanders still have the triple captain to play and it’s difficult to see that lead being overturned. Albion also posted a below average score but should be safe in 3rd given Madrid’s inability to close the gap. If anything is going to change in the prize money positions it’s a possible usurping of Madrid by Bielsa Ringing or Caligula who are now just 14 and 22 points behind respectively.

Manager of the week – Greeenteeam – Adrian Greenwood – 78 points

All of the top six suffered as a result of Son Heung-Min’s uncharacteristic red card. Caligula had the right back up in the shape of a Laporte, Doherty, TAA triple double figure defence, and more tellingly, a captain that delivered. It was a damp squib of a week for the majority of the league and it was only those, like Caligula, who veered away from captaining City or Liverpool that really excelled. You have to travel to the depths of the league to find those 70+ totals that really moved managers up the rankings. Greeenteeam performed best, also captaining Hazard, but also by remembering they still had a bench boost and claiming 12 extra points.

Player of the week – David Luiz – Chelsea – 15 points

The most popular captain choice this week was Sergio Aguero – the majority swayed by the fact he’d contributed goal and/or assist points at every home game he’d started this season. It was, however, a week in which defenders ruled and not just through clean sheet keeping but for their additional goal scoring and assist making exploits. David Luiz came out on top against a Watford team clearly saving themselves for Wembley. His clean sheet and goal take him to his highest season total to date.

Bargain of the week – Ryan Fredericks – West Ham United – 14 points

Fredericks would have equaled the Chelsea man had he picked up top bonus. West Ham were comfortable victors in their last home game of the season – a factor always worth considering in these final two gameweeks. Six of the home outfits managed a victory to nil this week.

Twat of the week – Son Heung-Min – Tottenham Hotspur – -2 points

Who else? He was in a lot of teams given Spurs’ double gameweek possibilities and probably the final nail in the coffin for so many. Those owners may take some consolation in a hefty chunk of money readily available for a last week transfer punt

Da Pitch aren’t giving up on that title yet. They’re making every effort to close that gap. Scoring 105 points should help, unless the team you’re chasing racks up 104. The big scores were plentiful this week – seven in triple figures – only one less than last week. Albion aren’t out of contention either, posting 95 points. Our leaders however, crucially, still have their triple captain.

April has probably produced a Buckets record for the highest monthly score for a four week game month. It took Kebab Eaters 351 points to win it – which included two 100+ scores. We’re looking at an average score of close to 90 points a week. Mentions too for the Islanders, Caligula and Da Pitch who weren’t far behind, also averaging an 80+ weekly total.

For the second successive week we have a highest weekly score of 125 points. It was the triple captain chip that garnered the triple figure totals this week. And it was the triple captaining of one player in particular, Mo Salah, that reaped the greatest reward. The Islanders held the highest weekly score prize for one week only – they only scored four goals to the Reds’ seven. Most of us realised that all out Liverpool was the way to go with them coming up against the whippiest of whipping boys, Huddersfield. I suspect the Islanders are saving their triple captain for the last gameweek – a tactic which I think they’ve employed before – but had they gone with it they’d have accumulated the highest weekly score, won the manager of the week, the manager of the month AND probably sewn up the Buckets title.

Player of the week – Mohamed Salah – Liverpool – 19 points

It’s Salah’s second player of the week award. What a week to land the triple captain chip. He was always going to be the one and this Huddersfield fixture was always likely to be the game. There have been frustrating moments throughout the fantasy season for Salah owners, but he’s still leading scorer, and now by a fair distance. It appears that by not reaching the heights of last season he’s unworthy of a player of the year nomination or a place in the team of the year. Nonsense.

Bargain of the week – Cyrus Christie – Fulham – 11 points

Three consecutive clean sheets for Fulham. How did that happen? There’s no point in discussing this any further. Only ghost ships own Fulham defenders.

Twat of the week – Ainsley Maitland-Niles – Arsenal – -2 points

Doesn’t anybody want Champions League football next season? Maitland-Niles did Arsenal’s Europa League cause more good with dopey 30 minute red. He was on the Rip Roaring Reds’ bench. A smart place to put him.

The three way battle for Buckets supremacy took another twist this week. The Islanders remain top, but theirs and Albions less than average totals opened the door for Da Pitch to creep back into real contention. The Islander’s wildcard was played with more than one eye on next weeks fixtures, but Brighton’s total failure as a double gameweek team this week let them and many others down. No goals scored and seven conceded is not what was wanted. Some managers fell even further into the trap and captained a Brighton defender. It’s a cruel irony that the best bet would have been to stick with those single gameweeking bloody Bournemouth players who hammered the first five past the hapless Seagulls defence. Take some consolation in the fact that Brighton defender Shane Duffy backed himself in his own fantasy side. Bizarrely, however, he also had Callum Wilson in his attack!

Manager of the week – King Raggg – Stephen Darling – 90 points

King Raggg accumulated 31 points from Bournemouth assets, as well as healthy contributions from captain Christian Eriksen and Raheem Sterling, to post an impressive 90 point total. It puts them top of the monthly league at the halfway stage. Not a single Brighton player in sight. A wise move.

Player of the week – Lucas Moura – Tottenham Hotspur – 21 points

Spurs players were popular among most managers and not just those on a wildcard ahead of next week’s double. Any team playing Huddersfield almost guarantees some return. Even before Dele Alli was ruled out, Lucas Moura should have come into contention for many more teams than he did, considering the likely rotation ahead of their European fixture in the midweek. Son was benched but nabbed a late assist much to the relief of many managers -and Christian Eriksen provided the same return in a 90 minute performance. This paved the way for Moura to provide a hat trick, top bonus and a load of hindsight.

Bargain of the week – Sean Morrison – 16 points

And in the end the best double gameweeker came from Cardiff. One point from the Burnley game was followed up with fifteen against Brighton. Its Morrison’s eighth clean sheet – Cardiff’s ninth overall. Brighton have kept six. Weren’t Cardiff the better bet for points in the first place?

Twat of the week – Troy Deeney – Watford – -2 points

Deeney was another popular choice on wildcard ahead of the double. He’ll play no further part in that. Watford will have to look to Andre Gray or Isaac Success to maintain their quest for the best of the rest. Some fantasy managers will be less enthused to make the same switch I imagine.

As we get to the arse end of the season we’ll take a gameweekly look at how the title race is panning out. It looks like one of three teams for the top prize. All have undertaken a slightly different end of season strategy regarding their chips and wildcards. Of the three it’s the Islanders that appear to be in the strongest position with a wildcard, bench boost and triple captain remaining. I predict a wildcard in the coming gameweek with a bench boost following in GW35. That leaves their triple captain possibly for the last week when the scores can go crazy, form definitely goes out the window, all defences tend to go on holiday and strikers fill their boots. Albion have the highest accumulative score over the last three weeks but only have their free hit remaining. Watch out for that being played in GW35. Da Pitch have dropped back slightly, being the least successful of the three at negotiating the last three weeks, but with two more double gameweeks remaining and their triple captain and bench boost chips untouched, they could force their way back into the reckoning. Maybe we’ll see a brave punt on a GW34 Lewis Dunk triple captain?

Manager of the week – Neil Madrid – Neil Strong – 90 points

Virtually the same team that failed in blank gameweek 31 came through this reduced gameweek to spectacular effect. Backing any striker worth his salt against Huddersfield seems to be the sensible way forward at the moment – step forward Jamie Vardy. Eden Hazard would have been as effective a captain choice. They were the players of choice for the top nine teams in the league. Having both, as many teams did given the smaller pool of players to pick from, guaranteed you a score somewhere in the 70’s or above. Youri Tielemans may have been the player making the difference for Madrid, tipping the score out of the 80’s. The young Belgian has a goal or assist in each of the last six games. It’s a shame and a bit of a headache given his (and Vardy’s) form that Leicester don’t appear in either double gameweek.

Player of the week – Jamie Vardy – Leicester City – 16 points

Two goals and an assist against a Huddersfield team now totally devoid of any fight was as obvious a captain choice as there’s been all season. Especially for a striker in a rich vein of form – Vardy has eight in eight. I’m not in sure you need to be a striker in form to get something against Huddersfield. Harry Kane faces up to that defence next week. In his quest for the golden boot, it could be brutal.

Bargain of the week – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 15 points

In gameweek 1 he was sent off after 39 minutes, collected -3 points, and looked likely to never play again. He did – two more performances amassed 7 more points to put him back in the black. A warm up injury to Michael Keane promoted him to the starting line up this weekend and he quadrupled his total for the season in the space of 90 minutes.

Twat of the week – Nathaniel Clyne – Bournemouth – -1 points

Hooked at half time having already conceded two and been booked. Bournemouth aren’t the most dependable when looking for clean sheet points and Clyne hasn’t provided any attacking full back assists as it was hoped he might since his loan move.

Da Pitch still hold the lead, but it’s only a slender two points over the surging Craggy Islanders who are on the hunt for the second title. Perfidious sit third and only ten points further back after a resurgent week, and although not completely out of touch and out of contention for the title, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing will need near perfect run-ins to catch those sides ahead of them. And we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of INIT, FTM or Shoelace sneaking into fourth place. We’re entering silly season, as the blank and double gameweeks begin to form and chip tactics come into play. We’re faced with only five fixtures in GW31 and the likelihood of a similar figure in GW33, depending on the outcome of the next round of the FA Cup. Already Manchester United have had two of their fixtures rearranged and moved to the middle of gameweeks 32 and 35. Expect the other successful cup teams to see their fixtures moved to the same midweek slots. Of the leading contenders, The Craggy Islanders, Perfidious Albion, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing have all of their chips and their wildcard remaining. Da Pitch just have their chips to play. FTM Have their wildcard but bench-boosted in GW10, whereas INIT have no wildcards or triple captain and Shoelace have no wildcards or free hit. Negotiating the next few weeks could be tricky without at least one of the wildcard or free hit still in the bag. And it shouldn’t all be about the leaders, as a perfectly played strategy of wildcards and chips could hand any team anywhere in the league any of the next three manager of the month awards. It might also be something the semi-finalists of the Buckets Cup want to consider…

Buckets Cup quarter finals

Although maybe not in the case of The Craggy Islanders or Neil Madrid who probably have their eyes on a bigger prize. And that may play into the hands of Fake Madrid and Kebab Eaters who are the other two teams to progress to the last four. The Islanders beat Da Pitch as Madrid saw off FTM in the two top ten clashes. The Islanders will play Fake Madrid, who beat El Loco No Joko, who inexplicably kept Virgil Van Dyk and Sergio Aguero on the bench?!?!?!? Kebab Eaters edged past Mour Salt and Pep to face Neil Madrid. It could be a Madrid derby final.

Thanks to their top 2,000 in the world weekly score of GW27 and consolidating with a steady 50 pointer this week, Chappers pinch the February prize. I’m not sure they were really in it at all before hitting the dizzy heights at the weekend. They have Gerard Deulefeu to thank and did so by benching him for their hammering at the hands of Liverpool last night.

Manager of the week – Queen Of The North – Dorine Reacher – 84 points

A week for defenders this week and QOTN lined up two of the big scorers – Schar and Robertson – in their team. They amassed 43 points from those two and their other defender, Ashley Young, who chipped in with a goal, and their keeper, Allison. They wouldn’t be picking up this award however had it not been for a Marko Arnautovic no-show. Although quite what Sadio Mane was doing warming the bench is anyone’s guess given his present run of form of six goals in six games.

Player of the week – Virgil Van Dyk – Liverpool – 20 points

It would have been 51 points had Van Dyk been lined alongside them in a triple up Liverpool defence. It’s not a ludicrous idea given that they’re three of the six highest scoring defenders in the game and that Liverpool have more clean sheets than anyone else so far this season. They could surpass 20 which would be a great achievement. It bodes well for the weeks ahead in which Liverpool play every week. They have no doubles, but they also have no blanks.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

There aren’t many players with two weekly player awards so far this season. Fabian Schar is probably the most unexpected recipient. A clean sheet and a wondergoal always equals top bonus. Newcastle will play the blank gameweek in 31, and have other potential clean sheet matches between now and then.

Twat of the week – Kieran Trippier – Tottenham Hotspur – -1 points

A wonderful own goal that totally wrong footed Hugo Lloris, a World Cup winning captain no less. Tottenham’s meltdown might have started a few weeks earlier this season.