A Childhood Crush Comes Back Into View in New York

Mercedes Rodriguez, 42, with her three children. Seeking better pay, Ms. Rodriguez left the Dominican Republic in 1996.CreditKirsten Luce for The New York Times

By John Otis

Jan. 17, 2016

Coincidence and a bit of technological ignorance are responsible for introducing Mercedes Rodriguez to her husband.

As a girl growing up in the Dominican Republic, she admired Pedro Herrera from afar. His height and sharp wardrobe got her attention.

“We’re from the same neighborhood, but I never spoke to him and he never spoke to me,” Ms. Rodriguez, 42, recalled, speaking through a Spanish translator.

In 1996, Ms. Rodriguez immigrated to New York City, drawn by the promise of better-paying work. In the Dominican Republic, she cleaned houses, toiling all day in return for some plantains and a bag of bread, she said.

A sister helped her find her first job in the city, sorting mail. Ms. Rodriguez said she was awed by her first paycheck and knew she was going to enjoy living in the United States. She met a man who became the father of her first child, Carlos, in 2000. The couple separated in 2001, and Ms. Rodriguez moved in with her sister.

While living there, Ms. Rodriguez was reunited with her childhood crush. Her niece spent hours chatting by video with her boyfriend in the Dominican Republic. Because her niece’s boyfriend did not own a computer, he often went to a neighbor’s house to use one.

One day during a video chat, her niece asked Ms. Rodriguez if she knew the neighbor, who was visible on the screen in the background.

It was Mr. Herrera.

“I didn’t know that he was listening to me because I didn’t know computers,” Ms. Rodriguez said. “And so I said, ‘I was in love with him.’ And my niece said, ‘Oh, Auntie, he’s listening to you!’”

That awkward reintroduction became an icebreaker. Ms. Rodriguez and Mr. Herrera began regularly talking.

“It was something very strong,” Ms. Rodriguez said of their mutual attraction.

Eight months later, Ms. Rodriguez visited Mr. Herrera in the Dominican Republic. He decided to move to the United States to be with her.

Mr. Herrera arrived in 2004, entering the country illegally through Mexico. The couple had two daughters, Robiersy, 9, and Ronalis, 3. Mr. Herrera’s immigration status made it difficult to find work, however.

In 2011, Ms. Rodriguez became a United States citizen.

“I told him I wanted us to get married, so when I became a citizen, he could be here legally,” she said. They got married in the Dominican Republic so that Mr. Herrera could legally return to New York as her spouse.

However, the couple learned that because Mr. Herrera had been living in the United States illegally that he now had to apply for a pardon to be able to return. They are still waiting for a decision. For the last few years, Ms. Rodriguez has found herself overwhelmed by her parental duties.

“It’s not easy having all the responsibility of the house,” she said.

Ms. Rodriguez works at a factory in New Jersey where she packages makeup. Her hours are inconsistent. Typically, she works three or four days a week, earning minimum wage. Her schedule led her to fall behind on the rent on the family’s one-bedroom apartment in the Washington Heights section of Manhattan.

“Life has been giving me too many beatings,” Ms. Rodriguez said. “It has to give me a massage.”

Despite the unsettled times, she said she is sustained by her faith and believes God guides her.

Although she is in constant contact with Mr. Herrera, his words of support and love cannot make up for his physical absence. Ms. Rodriguez said her life would be better if her husband could rejoin the family.

“With two people, the weight is less heavy,” Ms. Rodriguez said. “There’s going to be four hands, not only two.”