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Saturday, October 20, 2012

Being the best.

After spending too much time on Pinterest and Facebook in an evening, I feel inadequate. I decided a few weeks ago to take that under control and give it to God. I'm not positive there are others that struggle in the same way, but I'm guessing so. Just like seeing a bunch of models makes the average American woman feel at least slightly unsightly, seeing all the amazing things that people do/ are able to do on my social media sites, I feel like I should be able to do those things, too, and inadequate that I can't.

I've been that way for a long time. I always want to be the best at things. I want to be the best at way more things than I am able to. I want to be a super mommy, wife, Christian, money-saver, photographer, home-fixer-upper, sew-er, blogger, cleaner, teacher, nanny, graphic designer, and the list goes on (best ebay and craigslist-seller?). Can I be super at some of those things? Definitely! Do I need to be the best at all of them? Nope - and I don't think God wants me to be!

What I've realized is that it's okay. It's okay to try, and it's okay to fail. It's okay to want to be good at something, but decide that's not what my time needs to be put toward.D'oh.... Thought, "What is God calling me to put my all in to?"

This all played in to my strong desire to honestly and fully reevaluate my priorities and make some changes. That's what I felt God was telling me as I handed things over to Him. So I listed my priorities and made goals, long term and short term, to help keep my priorities in line. I'm not going to lie. I'm more tired than before. BUT, I feel more "full." Quiet time with God has been at the top of my list. That change alone has made a huge difference in my life! Next is caring for my husband and son. Instead of feeling dread at how much work that takes, I'm learning to find joy and experience such fulfillment in all the new small things I am accomplishing. The best part? My family is so much better, and happier, for it.I'm still working on it. I'm spending more time playing while Jordan is awake, and more time cleaning while he's asleep. I'm couponing and price matching like crazy. I hang dry our clothes. I'm starting Financial Peace. Each change is slowly becoming the norm and I'm getting more efficient. More importantly, each change is seriously leaving me (and those around me!) feeling so much better.

I think that a strong catalyst in making these decisions came when I was checking twitter before nodding off to sleep one night a while back, and came across a link to an article called "Motherhood Is A Calling (And Where Your Children Rank) by Rachel Jankovic." I then proceeded to read 4 other posts by her on the "Desiring God" site. They all touched my heart in a special way!

I was going to share some excerpts, but I just decided not to. Because I want you to read the whole article. Not a mom? I think that it's important for anyone who knows a mom to read, too. I have a strong feeling I'm not the only mom who needs to be reminded that being a mom is more than a hobby and daily choosing to represent the gospel (which she talks about) isn't just for moms! Each of us, where we are at, are on our mission field!

Sometimes I struggle with feeling like having mommyhood be my priority isn't enough. Lies from Satan & the world. Ot SO is! It is my calling! Living for my child (and the other 2 children I care for every week) first, choosing to be Christ to them in all I do, and laying down all the ways I cling to myself instead of Jesus are of utmost importance. Because I am raising a child of God!

Next, I'm working on how to take better care of me in all this. I've gotten much better at giving me my "girl time," which helps my attitude immensely. And we're starting Insanity workout, and going to start implementing some healthier eating habits.

I'd love your prayer in all this! And for you to share with me 1) your thoughts after reading Rachel Jankovic's articles, 2) changes you might feel called to make to better help keep your priorities in line!

Oh Shara!!! I love your heart! :) I loved the mission field one, go figure! Ha! I loved when she talked about whipping noses, and feeding them daily even when they hate it or resist, and eventually say hurtful things. I also loved when she talked about how you don't have a heart for missions if you aren't at peace, or rather ministering to those around you. Reminds me of my job situation and how often I've just said, "Well, if I were in Uganda or Mexico, this would be DIFFERENT!" Craig and I had to seriously do soul searching right before we were married about WHY we do feel called to the mission field and there were so many times that we talked about being missionaries here instead. But, as of now, that's not what He's called us to do. If you find an article about being a missionary...and a missionary...lol, let me know! I think of you as being a double missionary as well. Being the wife of a youth pastor is NOT easy. And side note..I often think of you as "super" at everything you do! :)