Did
you know that animals have no souls? It's true.
When a puppy falls into a wood chipper, your chances of
ever seeing him again are sprayed out the other side. Sure,
animals may be nice and all but there just isn't enough
room in heaven for every sewer rat that chokes on a toenail
clipping.

So
why are you any different? At which stage of evolution
did your soul appear? Some say that it was during
the Cro-Magnon period (Portrayed by Daryl Hannah in Clan of the Cave Bear).

It could be argued that there is no such thing as
a soul and that ghosts (and God) are as imaginary
as mermaids. Daryl Hannah also portrayed
a mermaid in the movie Splash (half human, half
animal) which would raise many questions about her
soul. The Bible states that Mermaids only go to
heaven from the torso up. Good thing she'll have
wings.

Daryl
Hannah portrayed a replicant (androids that
are almost indistinguishable from humans) in the
movie Blade Runner, and according to scripture androids
do not have souls god dammit!
That's what it says!

It
has also been argued that Neanderthals developed
a soul during the Stone age.
I believe that we will remain soulless until our
evolution back into apes.

GODWhy He doesn't care and You shouldn't either.

Do
you think that there's someone floating high up in the sky looking
over you? Explain to me how that all started. Explain to me how
that makes any sense. It's a really neat and appealing idea that
paradise exists beyond this life, but it just doesn't make sense
to someone like me who thinks logically.

Really, the only evidence that there is is this book that you may
have heard of called "The Bible". It has stories of people who lived
to be 900 years old and a guy who fit every species of animal on
a big, giant boat. There's also a guy in this book who raises the
dead, heals the sick and can make the blind see again.... His name
is the Lord Jesus Christ our Savior. I think that he could shoot
lasers from his eyes and turn himself into anything made up of water
using his special magic ring too. He was very special indeed. Some
might think that people just made up these tall tales, wrote them
in a book and called it fact... PEOPLE DO THAT YOU KNOW!

Did
Neanderthals develope a soul during the Stone age?

I
used to believe in Christ. I used to think that he protected
me and that he promised if I believed I'd spend the after life
in the clouds with all my friends and family that went before
me..... at least the ones who also believed. All the others
would be burning in Hell drowning in a sea of fire screaming
their regrets to a merciless god.
That "God" can be such a self centered, pecker sometimes! But
what about my best friend from high school who was Mormon and
got killed in a car crash?

He'd
be scorched to cinders, his cries of pain echoing through the depths
of Satan's lair. Sorry Jason.
And what about the mother's son who got molested by a priest, and
found himself dead to a drug overdose by the age of 19. He never
believed.... Sorry mom, he's damned for the rest of eternity strung
up-side-down disemboweled with his head in a bucket of snakes. Shoulda
been a Christian smart guy! That's what I was taught to believe
and believe it or not this is taught to many people all the time.
I'm not kidding!

So,
in spite of how much you want me to buy your fairy tales written
in your book, I need proof for all that I'm supposed to revolve
my life around. If you find yourself in a life built around "faith"
you're too lost to even begin understanding this.

Now
I'm not saying that I know what (if anything) happens to you when
you die. I do know that what ever happens it's not going to make
a damn bit of difference if you bowed your head and prayed or picked
up the phone and read the side of a Wheaties box to a dial tone.