Tuesday, 19 June 2012

MONOTONOUSLY BORING

Good morning and welcome to a brand new day. Yes, I know it is already afternoon, but I have decided to call it morning because I have not really done anything today, so to me, the day is still as fresh as new. That is the truth! I woke up (thanks to the alarm); had a poo; took my bath; put some clothes on; put on a matching pair of shoe; went to join the staff-bus; got to work; sat at my desk; put my PC on; checked mails; surfed the net; and that was how this came about. Tell me in all sincerity, could I have broken any part of that chain of events? Like I could say I did not feel like putting some clothes on, what other option do I have, go to work naked? Or like I could say I got to work and I did not feel like sitting at my desk, would I have gone to sit on the CEO’s chair? Or like I don’t feel like putting my PC on, could I just sit and stare into empty space, or maybe put my head on my desk to take a nap and hope my snore will not disturb the whole office? Nothing that I have done today, that I did not have to do. The short thing I am trying to say, but which requires a lot of words to say is: ROUTINE, MONOTONY AND BOREDOM are the hallmarks of my job. My Job Title should read - Manager: Boredom and Monotony.

Imagine if you live your life just going through the motions every day! The only times I get some form of excitement is when it is cascaded from the Top. Let us say there was a network interruption during the weekend, and the company lost some Revenues through that; of course, that would negatively impact Revenue Projections and distort AOP; which invariably means the Top-Line will reflect a Negative Variance versus Target; and the Bottom Line will not be spared because OpEx was constant all through the interruption; and the Africa Group is not ready to listen to any excuse from the OpCo Heads; and the OpCo Heads believe the Revenue was only missed and not lost, and it is somewhere waiting for us to come and recoup it, and we only have to come up with a plan to go and recoup it, and while recouping it, nothing must happen to the other streams of Revenue, as in this is not even additional, it is our birthright that we have misplaced and we have to go and reclaim, and while reclaiming it, the main Revenue must also be fully maximized, if not surpassed. Now you are beginning to understand what I mean by excitement. In reality, it is PRESSURE. You have to come up with a short-term-strategy that will achieve what a long-term-strategy failed to achieve. But when you deliver the strategy and the execution and the result comes in positive, you have that sense of fulfillment that I can only liken to an orgasm. Apologies for my choice of analogy, it is just that like those fantastic strategies, orgasm is something that I have personally achieved, repeatedly. Unfortunately, Indians are extra-ordinarily meticulous, finicky, fastidious, fuss-budgety, and persnickety such that mistakes are few and far in-between; thus excitement comes once-in-a-while; and in-between the “whiles” lies a very long sequence of hours that have to be filled-up by being busy doing nothing. And SirRash finds that MONOTONOUS, BORING.

I can see some people grimacing already: thinking this dude must be an ungrateful lad *heavy frown*…. He has a job and he still complains *heavier frown*… The work is even simple, imagine, he even blogs at work *WTF*… Actually, I am not complaining, the only other job I can trade this job for is the JOB with a BIGGER ORGANISATION, that offers DOUBLE THE MONEY, and BETTER OPPORTUNITIES which must include working from home so I can blog from home and stop blogging at work, because sometimes my conscience pricks me. Jah (clasps both hands, put them just under my chin with the two thumbs stroking my beards, and lift my face up to the ceiling), please forgive me, You and I know I would not be doing this if there were some other Word, Excel and/or Powerpoint sheets to occupy my time.

I think I have tried for now. Let me go and pay attention to the 22 Tracks of Banky W and his EME Sidekicks Empire Mates State Of Mind (The Album); who knows, I might even review the album later. For now, let me go and listen and enjoy or or probably endure, who knows.