1) The Subruban Commandos defeated The Stoner Brothers. Afterwards, The Stoners old Coach Joey Nuggs from Stoner U appeared, ready with clipboard and whistle. He said he would whip these boys back into Golden Gig shape, and started by putting them through drills immediately before allowing them to take part in any doobage.

2) Guano Loco defeated Lucha Magnifico with a pile driver.

– Mr. Hoodslam 2, Hoodslams own crotchety old man veteran wrestler, told the fans that he would be entering his name into the election for Mayor of Hoodslam in January, running on the platform of tradition.

– Johnny Drinko informed the crowd that Virgil Flynn III had caught his ire by having so many great matches. He swore to make Virgil have WORST match of the year, and included the rule that he and Virgil would drink liquor for every knife edge chop executed in the match.

4) F.O.N.G. defeated PB&J Banana after tying him to the corner and devouring a bag of his relatives.

5) DARK Sheik,El Chupacabra and Christina Von Eerie defeated Ken, Zangief and Scorpion after Zangief gave a pile driver to everyone in the match, including his partners.

– DARK Sheik informed the crowd that at Jan 3rd, he refuses to defend the Golden Gig with the coholder Juiced Lee. He instead issued a challenge, DARK Sheik and Christina Von Eerie v Juiced Lee and a mystery partner

(3) “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder beat James with a roll-up with an assist from the PB&J Banana.

(4) P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) beat Scorpion with a roll-up when Sindel distracted Scorpion and Sub-Zero froze him from behind.

(5) Drugz Bunny beat F.O.N.G. (F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer) with a Chokeslam. P.O.N.G. and F.O.N.G., collectively known as “Game Over,” attacked Drugz Bunny after the match, which resulted in the arrival of Pooh Jack coming to Drugz’s aid to take out Game Over.

FYI: Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, January 3 for “Hoodslam: Last Year’s Resolution – The Sequel.” Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube – all @Hoodslam. Website is BirdsWillFall.com.

2. Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 BLACK def. Major Meathook via pinfall with a Gore. As stipulated by “boss for a day” Drugz Bunny, if Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 BLACK wins, he then has to face his own creator, Doc Atrocity in the Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 Challenge.

(4) Doc Atrocity beat Otis the Gimp after Doc Atrocity’s United Sideshows and Atrocities (USA) clowns interfered with a top-rope senton. Doc Atrocity then attempted to unleash his doomsday device on Hoodslam, only to find that it was gone (or escaped). Livid and embarrassed, Doc Atrocity suddenly resumed the trial of El Sparko, who was charged with crimes against Hoodslam. “KG” Kevin Gill, the other half of the Hoodslam commentary team, emerged from the crowd and revealed that he was the one who assassinated the Pink Panther. In light of this revelation, El Sparko was ruled innocent and KG accepted his punishment: exile from Hoodslam.

(7) Juiced Lee beat James C., Street Fighter II’s Ryu, Cerebrus, Sub-Zero (w/Sindel), and Charlie Chaplin in a Six Sides of Suicide elimination match when Juiced pinned James C. with a victory roll. The winner became the number one contender for the Stoner Brothers’s Golden Gig.

(8) Juiced Lee & returning DARK Sheik beat The Stoner Brothers after a top-rope moonsault from Juiced Lee to become the new Golden Gig Champions in an impromptu match.

* Broseph Brody w/ Kammy d. Super Tiger in a BROpen Challenge to qualify for the Battle Royal of Supremacy.
* PONG & FONG (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer & Fat Obese Nerdy Gamer) d. Blanka & Zangiev in an impromptu challenge to qualify for the Battle Royal Of Supremacy
* Gorilla Vinny Butabi d. Johnny Drinko Butabi to qualify for the Battle Royal Of Supremacy, then took his disembodied zombie head back from Doc Atrocity when given the choice of the surviving half of Baby Hoodslam or his own head.
* Ryu & Ken d. Scorpion & Sub-Zero w/ Sindel in a SSF vs. MK showdown to qualify for the Battle Royal of Supremacy.
* Anthony Butabi d. Brittany Wonder to qualify for the Battle Royal of Supremacy after future Resistance fighter Sgt. Straightrazor appeared and referred to both Anthony and Brit as “Grandma and Pop Pop.”
* James & Drugz Bunny w/ Stony Montana d. “Original Gangsta” Mustafa Saed & Pooh Jack, La Raza (Chicano Flame & Jardcore Jesus), and the team of Otis The Gimp & Sexy Chino w/ Lollipop in a 4-way tag team match to qualify for the Battle Royal Of Supremacy.
* Virgil Flynn (as Bruce Leroy) d. Sho Nuff the Shogun of Harlem in a Kung Fu Theater Last Dragon match to qualify for the Battle Royal of Supremacy.
* Golden Gig champions The Stoner Bros. (Rick-Scott & Scott-Rick) d. Resistance Fighters From The Future (Major Meathook & Private Boltcutter) w/ Sgt. Straightrazor in an impromptu challenge.
* Doc Atrocity put El Sparko on trial with Judge Johnny Legend, but all hell broke loose when commentator Kevin Gill suddenly assassinated Doc’s star witness John Wilkes Boothe on the stand! This brought out “Sexy Scientist” Shelly Martinez who revealed that SHE built the time portal to the year 2099 and has seen the future of Hoodslam under the tyrannical rule of Doc Atrocity. Doc had his clowns bring out a “Weapon Of Unimaginable Death & Destruction” and ordered El Chupacabra to take out Shelly. Supercabra (Chupacabra from the year 2099) appeared and joined Shelly against Doc and the present-day Chupacabra.
* “Sexy Scientist” Shelly Martinez & El Supercabra (Chupacabra from 2099) d. Doc Atrocity & El Chupacabra (present-day) in an impromptu challenge.
* Drugz Bunny won the 10-man Battle Royal Of Supremacy by eliminating James.

* Broseph Brody defeated “Russian Lover” Zangiev w/ Kammy & Kammy’s Ass in the first ever “BROpen Challenge” when Kammy turned on Zangiev and left with Brody who was replaced by El Flaco Loco on commentary.

* Anthony Butabi defeated Johnny “Drinko” Butabi to earn a shot at the Golden Gig in a “High Life” match officiated by special referee Cousin Balki Butabi when Anthony managed to smoke an entire blunt before Drinko could consume an entire alcoholic beverage. After the match, Balki revealed that HE was the Sacramento Snitch that called the police and had Hoodslam shut down before their June 22nd debut in Sac! Balki revealed that he had a date that night with one Officer Foxy of the SCPD. Officer Foxy joined Balki on stage to dance and to announce that she brought her entire precinct along to join the party on the 22nd, leading to Hoodslam’s first Sacramento event never actually occurring. Drinko attacked Balki but was chased off by Virgil Flynn III! Balki tried to thank Virgil but Hoodslam’s high-flying phenomenon would have none of it, calling Balki a dirty snitch and challenging him to an impromptu match…

* Scorpion, Sub-Zero & Kano w/ Sindel defeated Ken, Dan (substituting for the missing Ryu) and “Ms. Marvel” Brittany Wonder w/ Kammy & Kammy’s Ass in a Streetfighter vs. Mortal Kombat mixed six-person match. After the match, the tension between Scorpion and Sub-Zero continued when Sub-Zero walked out with Sindel after the two MK Ninjas stared each other down once again.

* PB&J Banana won by count-out over E. Honda when the SSF Sumo Machine tore off his wig, revealed that he wasn’t Japanese and announced that he was fed up with the whole E. Honda character before walking out abruptly after the bell rang.

* A special black light burlesque performance by Francine Dead!

* Planet Rock of B-Boy, Boombox & Soundwave defeated the James Gang of James, Drugz Bunny & Stony Montana before leading the fans in a Hoodslam Dance Party!

* Juiced Lee defeated Akeem Jabdul Kabar (a.k.a. Eric Watts) in a special “Kung-Fu Theater Game Of Death” match that saw Kabar plant Lee with a stiff kick to the chest that left a huge black footprint on the “Anabolic Dragon.”

* Golden Gig champions the Stoner Bros. (Rick-Scott & Scott-Rick) defeated Anthony Butabi & mystery partner DRAKE YOUNGER when senior referee El Sparko had security escort Younger from the ring during the match, forcing Anthony to suffer a 2-against-1 beat-down and getting pinned after a wicked Rizzbomb! Before the match, Johnny Drinko Butabi teased reuniting with his brother, but flipped him off and walked out. The Stoners destroyed Anthony until Younger came out to team with the man who earned his respect in one of his final Death matches. It seemed as if the duo of Butabi and Younger were on the verge of winning the Gig when Sparko intervened.

* After the match, Doc Atrocity & his United Sideshows & Atrocities stable appeared on stage and called out El Sparko for all the questionable decisions over the last year, from forcing Dark Sheik to defend his EBX Best Athlete award against his will, to allowing Adam Thornstowe into Hoodslam after he had been banned, to pulling Younger out of the main event. Doc told Sparko he would be put on trial next month for TREASON AGAINST HOODSLAM! Then ordered his Carny Clowns and Mutant Red Rhino to attack the defenseless senior official. Sparko cleverly called for the bell and Rhino suddenly turned on the clowns, destroying them and pinning them in an impromptu match made by the masked referee! Rhino then walked off the stage, ignoring the raving mad Doc and his crew. Without warning, the mysterious technological device that was sent to Hoodslam last week appear on the stage billowing smoke and making bizarre noises. Suddenly, four unknown individuals in paramilitary garb came through the portal demanding to know the date! When KG informed them that it was July 5th 2013, they revealed themselves to be Resistance fighters from the year 2099 to stop the trial of El Sparko! Doc said this was all nonsense and brought out D. Faust to summon his personal demon from the depths of damnation “The Hound Of Hell” Cerberus to join US&A. Doc Atrocity, El Chupacabra & Cerberus called out any three members of the Resistance to a match to determine whether or not the Trial of El Sparko would take place next week. The soldiers from the future used their communicators to call for reinforcements and a enormous masked man appeared to join the soldiers known as Major Meathook & Corperol Clawhammer in a match against United Sideshow & Atrocities…

* Doc Atrocity, “Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra & “Hound Of Hell” Cerberus w/ Servo Destructo defeated The Resistance of Major Meathook, Corperol Clawhammer & the mysterious masked man w/ resistance members Sgt. Straightrazor & Private Boltcutter in an impromptu six-man match when Chupacabra connected with his “Spanish Fly” backflip slam off the top rope on the 300 lb. Clawhammer to secure that the Trial Of El Sparko would take place next month!

Hoodslam Returns to the Oakland Metro on August 2nd for the annual Battle Royal Of Supremacy: DAZE OF FUTURE PAST!!!

(3) Virgil Flynn defeated Dark Sheik (w/D. Faust) with a 450 splash to become the new Best Athlete in the East Bay (tied with Tim Thompson) after cashing in his Kat Williams Memorial Battle Bowl Championship.

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as “José Queervo.” Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and your Juggalo homie, “KG” Kevin Gill. Referees were Guido, Sparky Ballard, and Official Senior Official El Sparko.

(2) Drugz Bunny defeated James C. (w/Stoney Montana) with a second-rope sunset flip. James then challenged Drugz Bunny to a 1920s street fight at next month’s Hoodslam. If James loses, he will relinquish control of the James Gang to Drugz Bunny. If Drugz Bunny loses, he falls back in line as James’s subordinate.

(4) Ken (representing Shotokan Dojo) defeated Johnny Cage (representing Earth Realm) with a hurricane kick off the top rope. Ken won the right to compete in Doc Atrocity’s Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 Challenge later in the evening.

At this time, the valet of DARK Sheik, D. FAUST, performed burlesque art performance dance theater magic.