Amidst the still-raging
, sometimes
acrimonious and often
comical but seemingly
never-ending controversy over Hillary Clinton's refusal to authorize public
access to all archives in the Clinton
Library (also known as the Clinton Presidential Center), the unauthorized release of
the first drafts of her
and Bill's memoirs by the archivist
at the Clinton Liebrary are generating
political shock-waves. One of the most unusual things about those drafts is that on
instructions from their first prospective publisher, the Clintons wrote them in the form of poetry
rather than prose with each of them writing alternating stanzas. Bill wanted the title to be
"The Billary/Hillary Dueling Memoirs," but Hillary wanted it to be "The Hillary/Billary
Dueling Memoirs." Regarding the current controversy over the archives, a prominent
talking-point disseminator for the Hillary Clinton campaign, Media
Matters.Org, expresses the view that the archives controversy is much ado about nothing
except in the mind of the Darth Vader of the Right, Karl Rove, and thus tacitly and preemptively
implies that if Barack Obama were to criticize Hillary's handling of the "archives" issue
he would simply be acting as a stooge for Rove.

But, due to conflicts between them in their first collaborative effort, Hillary instructed Bill to
have the drafts destroyed back in 2001. However, when those drafts inexplicably reappeared,
the Clinton Liebrary archivist included them in a Clinton Liebrary Book. Even more shocking,
the release by the archivist also includes a video tape of Bill and Hillary dictating their
respective stanzas. (The video can be viewed in either WMV or YouTube/Flash format in a
variety of size/connection-speed configurations using the image
links on this page. The best-quality version in the original WMV format is
here-- isn't
it better to view it on its creator's advertisement-supported page than to give the traffic to
YouTube?)

Since the Clintons wrote the first drafts in the form joint memoirs in
poetic stanzas as suggested by their first prospective publisher, the archivist composed a poetic
introduction for the drafts:

At first, for their memoirs, the Clintons were told
that sales would be better if both of them told
their Memoirs in rhyme
in "his" and "her" lines
with nothing exciting remaining untold.

So,
drafts they began in the way they were told
in alternate stanzas not stodgy or cold.
But Hillary quit
and threw quite a fit
'cause Bubba so often went AWOL to troll.

"Destroy
them," did Hillary firmly decree.
However, those "his" and "hers" drafts of their screeds
she thought disappeared
have now reappeared
through magic like records of Rose law-firm fees.

And
here's what they'd written as first they were told
in alternate stanzas not stodgy or cold:
Their Memoirs in rhyme
in "his" and "her" lines
with Bill's in italics and Hill'ry's in bold:

Before they begin to read drafts of their memoirs,
remember the year when they drafted these memoirs.
'Twas 2001
when these drafts were done.
Their publisher called them the "Dueling Memoirs."

01. Regarding those Presidents, Adams,
the first ones to bear the name Adams,
mistaken by many as
John and John Quincy,
were John and his Abigail Adams.

02. Historian, David McCollough
reviewed John and Abigail's letters,
and said it's self-evident
they worked as Co-Presidents,
and also were passionate lovers.

03. You owed me more power than Abigail
for saving campaigns like a Nightingale
by swallowing pride
to stay by your side
when bimbos erupted with spicy-tales

04. Your'e right that the First-Lady Adams
was first as Co-President Adams,
but Abigail's druthers
for John as a lover
meant John had no need for a madam.

05. Though Abigail Adams was tough,
in sex John did not treat her rough,
but you thought it hip
to bite on my lips,
and so I said once was enough.

06. From my point of view it ain't right
to claim you abstained 'cause I bite.
Your claim was a ruse
that forced me to choose
to find some Jane Doe's I could bite.

07. So what if my claim was a ruse!
I simply refused to be used
or practice submission,
so you went on missions
for fun with your pants at your shoes.

08. I never embarked on such mission--
the fun always came to fruition
'cause so many babes
aspired to be slaves
to me as my Alpha Male minions.

09. My point I will have to repeat:
If you would have just been discreet,
not once would Jim Lehrer
have asked on the air
if interns gave sexual treats.

10. Although you contend I'm a boor,
a truth that you cannot ignore:
Had I not behaved
so much as a knave,
the POTUS today would be Gore.

11. You're right, but I hate to admit it!
I'm really quite lucky you did it,
'cause I can beat Gore
in Two Thousand Four
and be the first POTUS with t_____s

12. With hist'ry don't be so enthralled
'cause you won't make hist'ry at all!
It's well-known, you see,
you simply will be
the forty-fourth POTUS with b___s

14. There's one thing you cannot debate
my book will pay more than your rate!
More people will buy
my book full of lies,
so I'll get twelve million-- not eight.

15. So what if my book-advance rate
in millions is just a mere eight!
I'll get retribution
from court distribution
of ev'ry red cent that you make.

16. You're smart but you don't understand
the A-D-A law of the land
protects the disabled
like husbands unable
to get expert treatment for glans.

Of course everyone knows that the Clintons ultimately published separate memoirs.
Hillary's book is titled Living History, and Bill's book is titled "My Life."
She published her book a year before Bill finished his. Everyone remembers being shocked
by Hillary's assertion in her memoirs, Living History, that she remembered feeling
"shocked" when she learned that Bill really did "have sex" with
interns. As is the case with most things involving the Clintons, she gave a poetic
explanation as a "teaser" several days before the official release of her book:

I
titled my book "Living Hist'ry."
The reason, of course, is no myst'ry.
I'm "living," of course,
and also, per force,
I'm quite a great figure in "hist'ry."

For
all, the big news of the day
are excerpts of what I did say
about my reaction
to Bubba's retraction
of claiming "no sex" with that babe.

It
tells of my shock and dismay
when Bubba approached me to say
his statements were not
the truth-- he did not
abstain from an intern a day.

Soon
after Hillary published her book, reporters began asking Bill why he hadn't yet completed his
book. His answer was, of course, poetic:

You
ask what's the cause of my plight
delaying the book I'm to write--
My writing is shot
because I have NOT
had syntax with interns who write.

With
twelve-million reasons for hype,
my publisher's hoping I'll write
a book not refraining
from chapters explaining
the things that went hump in the night.

Twill
tell how I kept my morale
despite "kiss and tell" by my gals.
Although they implied
my penchant to lie,
I always stood up for the gals.

When
he appeared on "60 Minutes" to promote the release of his book in June, 2004, he faced
questions not only about his memoirs but also Hillary's memoirs published in June, 2003. And
in answering those questions, he also spoke poetically:

My
Life, My Wife, My Strife.

My
memoirs I titled "My Life"
to supplement tales of my strife
as Lord of the Lies
and source of surprise
in memoirs of me by my wife.

In
memoirs she named "Living Hist'ry"
she claimed like a reader of myst'ries
'twas "shock" that she felt
in learning who knelt
before me to lessen my mis'ry.

Of
course I would never dispute
her claim she went suddenly mute
from shock when my lips
conceded that Tripp,
not I, was the speaker of truth.

To
showcase my role as a paver
of progress instead of a craver
of pleasure so lawless,
I nixed Bradley/Wallace,
'cause, frankly, with Rather, I'm Safer.

However,
to help 60 Minutes
at top of the ratings to finish
and not bust or bomb,
to soccer-type Moms
they'll tout it as "Bill's Sexy Minutes."

To
complement Hillary's memoirs
devoted to women-v-men wars,
to no one's surprise
"My Life" will comprise
Part Deux of the Dueling Memoirs.

The
end of this stanza foregoes
the rhythm a limerick should show.
My book is so groovy
'twill make a cult-movie:
The Clinton Horror Picture Show.

The explanations above (in 2004) are not in the Clinton Liebrary Book, but it contains many other poetic
insights. One example is Bill Clinton's explanation of why he pardoned Susan McDougal but not
his life-long friend, Webster Hubbell. It's best explained in this video (use video links to
the right of this text) in the Archives
at the Clinton Liebrary illustrating the poetic explanation in the Clinton Liebrary Book.

John Kerry, resentful that media focus on Clinton's memoirs diverts attention
from his campaign, is frantically working to complete his own book, Full
Medal Jacket.
(As a preview of Full
Medal Jacket, an illustrated
version is here and the text
version is here.) Speculation continued to spread that
Clinton's desire to maximize Hillary's political clout in 2004 and 2008
motivated his timing for publishing his book notwithstanding his claims
that protracted delays in filling all his intern spots prevented him from
completing the book in 2003. (However, a September
13, 2002, report exposed the phallacy of such claims.)

Kerry's top advisors remain evenly divided on whether Hillary's real strategy
for 2004 focuses more on success in 2008 than in 2004. They are likewise equally
divided regarding whether Bill Clinton timed publication of his memoirs to
impair the Democratic ticket's chances for success in 2004 in order to enhance
Hillary's strategy for 2008. Some are convinced her strategy is to
covertly subvert while overtly serving the Democratic ticket in 2004.
Others are convinced she's genuinely changed her strategy to focus on 2012
rather than 2008 and thereby seeks success for the 2004 ticket as a tactical
element of her 2012 strategy. However, Kerry's top advisors all agree that
the Clintons' strategies are always far more complex than they appear on the
surface.

Publicity surrounding Bob Woodward's recent claim (in promoting his book,
"Plan of Attack") that George W. Bush with Saudi Prince Bandar has
refocused attention on a May
15, 2002, report indicating that Clinton was far more simpatico with
Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah than is Bush with any of the Saudi leaders.
That report arose from the fact that during Crown Prince Abdullah's May, 2002,
visit with Bush in Texas, he actually spent more time in an "all-night bull
session" with Bill Clinton, who happened to be staying in the same hotel in
Texas at the same time to give a fund-raising speech, than he spent with George
Bush.

The question uppermost in the minds of the entire publishing industry is whether
Bill's memoirs will outsell Hillary's memoirs. It's an open secret that
Bill took great satisfaction from the fact that the twelve-million-dollar
advance he received for his memoirs exceeded the eight-million-dollar
advance for Hillary's memoirs. Regardless of which one wins the battle for
royalties, there's no doubt that Bill Clinton wants his memoirs to create a
legacy to eclipse the Monica Lewinsky scandal. He sincerely believes his
real legacy, like that of George Washington, warrants a monument recognizing his
instinctive skills for governance.

One of PoliSat.Com's highly unreliable
sources has obtained a copy of Clinton's most recent articulation of how
publication of his memoirs will serve his long-term strategy for a monument to
his legacy. Whether Clinton will succeed in doing so remains to be
seen. However, his most ardent supporters expect his legacy to be most
solidly established by the opening of his Presidential Library, which he named
the "Clinton
Presidential Center" rather than "Clinton Library" to
avoid using a name sounding the same as Clinton
Liebrary.
It's also unclear whether the Clinton Presidential Center will comply with OSHA
requirements for the protection of women
and children
visitors.

Says
Bill "My Life" Hist'ry is Living With Hyst'ry.

I'm
Bubba, whose book ends the mystery
of how I've entitled my history:
My book that's entitledMy Life is sub-titledMy Life I Spent Living with Hystery.