Exploring Gender Identity

Appearances Can Be Deceiving

by Sequoia Elisabeth on September 1, 2011

Transition from male to female or vice versa is a drastic physical change and is often difficult not only for the person transitioning but for the entire family and if the person is famous then the entire community. The further removed this person is the easier it is to accept, however when it is a person you admire or even idolize it becomes a whole different story.

Why are things so difficult you may ask? Because each person has a concept of whom they think that person is. You know your brother, right? Or whatever role that person plays in your life, you think that is who this person is, but is that reality? If your brother becomes your sister or your father becomes your second mom does this lessen the relationship? How does this reflect on you?

The pride cometh before the fall! Maybe the biggest issue is that your ego is bruised from the whole affair. Someone in your family is different and this embarrasses you. You did not even know this person whom you were so close to and oh my goodness this could rub off on me! Does this mean I am queer too? A member of your “team” has fallen in your eyes… or have they?

Maybe what is amiss is the mistaken notion that families know each other better than the rest of the world knows them. Maybe everything happens for a reason and contains a gift for all involved. Maybe each person need be on the lookout for gifts and when drastic events such as one family member transitioning occur this is the greatest gift of all.

The lessons are many and are different for each person involved, however a few themes are “we are not our bodies, we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience, do not judge a book by its cover, and Love has no limits.” The human race is in a pivotal stage of evolution. The physical body is being surpassed by the mental and Spirit. It is a case of the jar no longer containing all the juice. The body no longer defines who we are (if it ever did).

Appearances can be deceiving! Just because someone looks big and strong, does this mean they are? Or maybe they are beautiful to the eye; does this mean they have depth of character and compassion? The saying, “do not judge a book by its cover” applies here. However just because you have read the book (think you know your brother) does not mean that someone else could not interpret the story differently.

Love has no limits! Unconditional Love is the only true Love! This means that no matter what this person does that you still Love them and accept them for who they believe themselves to be! It means you do not judge them for doing something you disagree with or goes against your moral values. It does not mean that you must join them! Pain comes from resistance and is often connected to ego; it is not Love!

So what is a person to do when it comes to family, friends or enemies? The spiritual teachings tell us to Love thy neighbor as thyself. See beyond the “cover” or physical body and perceive the soul, because when you see each person as a brilliant soul, child of God. The world changes… it becomes Heaven.