Saturday, February 21, 2009

As I sit in the park, watching my six-year-old son play, I converse with the mom doing the same next to me. Then the subject comes up “What do you do?” I say, “I am a Doula”. I hear the usual response: “A what?” Then she says, “Like a midwife right?”

I smile; thrilled that she knows it has something to do with childbirth.

But no, “I’m not like a midwife”, I explain. I do not do anything medical. I am The Nurturer; The Guardian of the Birth Experience.

They smile with puzzled looks on their faces. I explain:

My purpose is to be there for the mother, to help her carry out her plans for birth, hold her hand when she cries, keep the rice packs warmed & on her back, if needed with each contraction, put cool cloths on her neck & forehead, wipe the sweat from her brow, massage her back when it aches, squeeze her hips to relieve the pressure, help her to change positions to get things moving, remind her to use the bathroom every hour and help her to get there, offer ice, water, and lip balm, walk the halls with her, turn on the music that helps her relax, remind her to breathe, remind her to picture the baby moving down the birth canal, remind her that she is strong, tell her she CAN when she thinks she can’t, and always tell her how great she is doing. AND, never forgetting what a powerful, yet fragile time this is and strive to protect that memory for her by keeping it a positive one.

I am there for her partner, too … to give him suggestions, pat him on the back and tell him that it really IS okay. I bring him food when he needs to eat, coffee when he needs a pick-me-up and a chair when he needs to sit. I offer suggestions he can do that will make his partner the most pleased, so that HE looks like the perfect picture of support to her. Most of all, I am NEVER there to take his place or get in the way of the couple’s special day.

We work as a team to care for the women he loves. I give them space if needed. I am always aware of glances, moments that are to be protected. I will take a shot with the camera so they can remember the intensity, the focus, the love.

In other words, I do anything and everything that I can to help her cope with her labor and make it an empowering, memorable experience. When she pushes; I am whispering to her how great she is doing, holding her leg, if needed & making eye contact so she is reassured that all is well.

When the baby is born and placed on her tummy, I smile and shed a tear or two, and tell her again what a great effort she has accomplished.

When the nurse checks the baby and dad runs over to see how beautiful this new baby is, I stay by the mother’s side and hold her hand so she knows she is not alone. I let her know how amazing she is.I am there when she feeds her baby for the first time and reassure her that she is doing well. And when the family is all snuggled in close, loving each other, I take a few shots with the camera and then I quietly slip out the door.

I often wonder as I drive home from a birth:

Do these women realize how much they touch my life? I am truly blessed after each birth. I feel a renewed sense of life, I see my children as the precious gifts that they are, and I hold my husband a little closer. I go for weeks on the "high" of attending yet another birth of a loved child.

Being a doula is not a job to me, it is my passion, it was a “calling”.

I feel very deeply for the women I give care to, and I never forget them or the day they brought their precious babies into the world. I document their day with a birth log that I share with them keep copy for myself & look at from time to time, usually around the baby's first birthday.

After the postpartum visit to see the baby, hold the baby & review the birth, if the mother wishes to do so, I may or may not EVER see the family again. It varies greatly.

Whether they feel anything similar differs from woman to woman, but each birth is an empowering experience TO ME and I thank each and every family that I attend to, for the opportunity to share such a wonderful, intimate time in their lives.

Friday, February 20, 2009

One of the biggest obstacles to natural birth is misunderstanding your "due date." A due date does not mean there is only one safe day for your baby to be born. It is meant to establish a range of time that your baby is mature and safe to be born. Because modern obstetrics narrows this to a specific day, unnecessary interventions, like inducing labor, come into practice.

In a well-nourished, low risk pregnancy it is normal for your baby to be born between 37 and 42 weeks gestation*. Many natural events take place within your body during the last weeks of pregnancy to prepare you for labor. Allow time for the natural process to occur.

What I Do, Think, Believe

My philosophy as a doula issimple.

I am not attached to outcomes. I want to support families in whatever decisions they make, as long as they are making fully informed decisions.

That being said, I also believe in the wisdom of women's bodies and the birth process.As a doula, I am there to be a continuous, calm, and supportive presence who can remind parents of their knowledge, their wisdom, and their preferences- no matter how they are being defined.I can also give massages, be a gopher, a photographer and an all around useful extra set of hands.When hiring a doula it has a lot to do with the chemistry of the mom and the support person... if you are interested in my services, drop me an email and we can set up a time to talk and to see if we mesh well.

I can offer you Support while you are feeding your child THE BEST food possible for them!

Please check with your caregiver if you have any questions about your baby. I am not a medical professional. I have chosen to become an informed parent & my intention is to share this with others, if they choose to be informed, also.