Long time readers of my work (here and elsewhere) know, beyond doubt, how much this particular portion of her words spoke to me:

“Consider St. Lawrence. Ordered to bring forth the church’s riches, he brings forth the city’s poor. He quipped with his enemies ‘Turn me over, I’m done on this side.’ That man died like a Roman. He had serious cajones. But what if a man with principle Lawrence lived in our times. He wouldn’t get the dignity of an honorable death. He’d have to choose between wordly success (at the expense of his principles, essentially acting out of fear of authority: not Alpha) or actively choosing the route of poverty and obscurity. In following his principles, he bows to no man but himself. But he’s not a conventional ‘winner’.”

See, everyone wants to talk about “being Alpha”.

This is “alpha”; that is “alpha”.

I’m here to tell you:

Sometimes being “alpha” is shitty.

Sure, it’s nice to command a room.

To have women giggle and gossip favorably concerning you.

To have men respect you.

To have them seek your council and leadership.

But that’s only the half of it.

No one talks about the pressure.

The constant battle to stay True to one’s mission.

To ignore the derision.

To go through job after job because everyone in management thinks you’re gunning for their middle-management position.

To tell your bosses they’re [literally] crooks.

It’s exhausting telling people when they are being foolish, deluded or simply an asshole.

It’s painful to look in the faces of loved ones and call them out.

Sure, I don’t really give a rat’s ass about the opinions of others.

But it’s wearisome speaking out (in real life) when no one else will.

Knowing everyone is taking a step back so that it appears you’re the one stepping forward to take the challenge.