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Okay, maybe that’s not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Maybe it’s not Instagram that is demented. Maybe it’s my own heart that needs a little work… yep, that’s it.

My apologies for the misleading title ;P

It’s my heart that needs some surgery and, my lawdy, with every picture I flip through that heart, is aching something fierce.With each swipe and tap of my phone’s screen waves of searing disappointment pass through the soft tissues and puncture holes for grief to fill.

Swipe. Tap. Tap. Swipe. Tap. Tap. Look at all the likes she has. Wow, look at her hair. Oh my gosh, look at all the fans he has. Look at the fashion sense she has. Swipe. Tap. Tap. What is the point in me even trying? I’ll never be anything compared to these people. Swipe. Tap. Tap. I’m nothing compared to them. Nothing.

I wasted approximately five minutes flipping through the photos of people who appear to have it all together. With each swipe and tap my heart sunk a little lower.

Swipe. Tap. Tap. On top of feeling severely inadequate, I had also just wasted five minutes of my life… minutes I could have spent doing something much more productive. The homework was piling up. My book needed revamping. Really, what did all that stuff mean anyway? No one would care. I was a nobody.

Fail boat. Fail boat. Fail boat.

Another wave of excruciating pain coursed through my heart. Failure was chunky, thick layers of gritty salt on my pulsing wound. I had to take a breath. I had to stop and find relief. I had to take a moment to talk to the only one who would have answers for me.

“God, why don’t I have all that they have? Why don’t I have the fame? Recognition and attention? If only I had the money and if only I was considered one of the most beautiful people on earth. If only. Why don’t I have all that? Why?!”

“Katie, why are you believing lies when you know the truth?” I paused, struck by the knowledge that I had no answer for Him.

I sat in silence and waited for the gentle whisper of His voice. Finally, it came.

“Katie, it is you who matters. The way the world measures success is very faulty. Fame and money mean nothing to me in the end… but you Katie.” He paused to smile with those perfectly clear eyes.

“You are my Child and you mean the world to me.” I nodded then sat in silence, allowing His words to bring peace to my festering wounds. After thinking about the situation for a while I came to a conclusion:

God will do great things in me and through me and I am excited.

This is the truth of all of us. He has plans for us, regardless of how unworthy we may think we are. Really, when it boils down to it, He prefers working with the humble and not the proud and He has plans for us, regardless of how unworthy we may think we are.

Here’s another tidbit of truth for us: ultimately what matters is what He says about us in the end.

The King of the Universe is our Father. He has so much in store for us, even if the world doesn’t recognize us as top notch material or the most gorgeous human being on the planet. This doesn’t take away from how valuable we are to the King who made us perfectly.

I am not going to let the potential of earthly treasures take away my joy; I urge you to do the same.

The day before yesterday (to be incredibly specific) I was scrolling through my feed on Instagram. A couple minutes passed before I moved on over to feast on the succulent offerings of Youtube.

While there it didn’t take long for me to notice one thing: that almost everyone had a perfect ombre and flashy, white grin. The people I was viewing acted great on camera and sold their product, usually themselves, like it was no one’s business.

I started to focus on all folks who were my age and now making millions. I waved a microscope atop my “inadequacy” and didn’t waver in my analysis of the obvious.

Basically, I gave myself the permission to start to feel a little sorry for myself.

Thoughts like: why didn’t I start a Y channel sooner or win that prestigious writing competition? Why didn’t I get into acting or some kind of dramatics when I was younger? I could be a millionaire by now! The world could be blessed by all that I have to offer them.

Ultimately, my pondering boiled down to one key question: why is it that I am not good enough?

Friends, it doesn’t take me to tell you that we are bombarded my media everywhere we go. We are often told that the definition of success lies in fame, money and doing good things for others. While none of these things are inherently bad, they can’t define us. Just because we haven’t succeeded in those areas does not mean we aren’t worthy of love, attention and affirmation. It also does not mean that we are going to like where we end up for eternity. It also doesn’t mean that we don’t have anything to live for while we are here on earth.

If you struggle with the same thoughts and feelings that I do I would like to offer you a challenge. Take a three break from the media world and spend some of that time with Jesus. Instead of turning to the media with questions about your worth ask Him to show you how He sees you.

Not only will you be amazed by how much extra time you have to do other things, you will also have the chance to see yourself through the lens of the One who made you and sees you as invaluable, no matter how many figures you may have to your name.