R.A. Gudino - Aspiring Writer

Friday, January 4, 2013

Two Weeks

I almost feinted in the shower on Wed and I've been feeling a little off ever since, so today I took advantage of my husband's day off to go to the doctor. I didn't go to the birth clinic since my doctor is on vacation, instead I went back to my general doctor who also does prenatal care. I really like her and I trust her tell-it-like-it-is attitude. I've had some concerns since my last appointment, but she reassured me that all is well. Given my other doctor's too-cheery attitude, I appreciated her more sober appraisal. She said my blood pressure is low, which is probably why I've been feeling faint. She also told me that baby Robin is in position and ready to come. She doubts that baby Robin will wait more than two weeks before coming. I should be 36 weeks on Sunday, but she says it's more like I'm at 37. I've been in denial that it's so close, somehow it feels like I've lived through this pregnancy on fast forward. We just now, as of yesterday, have a plan in place for Raccoon when my hubby and I go to the clinic, assuming that my sister-in-law can get here in time (she lives about an hour away). I don't even have a crib or a diaper bag yet. I haven't packed a hospital bag.

Two weeks. It all of a sudden hit me - I'm not ready for this. I don't feel prepared for labor. With Raccoon, I read books, took classes, talked to other moms, searched endless websites, and prayed. A lot. I have this feeling that baby Robin is going to come quickly, but part of me says, what if she doesn't? What if this time around it's harder than it was with Raccoon? Am I really ready for this? I had a short and positive experience giving birth to Raccoon... but what if this time is different/worse/harder?

Then I think about meeting my amazing little girl. Seeing her for the first time. Snuggling with her. Introducing her to Raccoon. And my other worries fade away.