Oh Lord why must you do this to me again, forsaken by the morning dawn, repetitively and with such vigor. Why must I become awakened from my favorite reality? A reality of bliss and wonderment. A place of joy and content. Why must I contentiously return back to this land beyond the garden gates. I do not belong in this world that I am forced to live within. A world where those around me are held prisoner, left to wallow in the sorrow of discontent and pain.

In my world there is no thoughts of days gone past, no worries of what’s to come. There is only the moment. A moment that is a lifetime. Arms that are not held open, but closed tight so not to let go. Eyes that can’t see anything beyond the depths of beauty’s light. A place where there is nothing else, except that which is before you.

Oh Lord was must you be so cruel as to give me but a footstep within the symmetry of the garden. You let me step onto its soft green grass and run free along its meadow. You let me feel the warmth of its sun and the comfort of its tranquility. You allow my eyes to set upon the purest of beauty and my lips to taste of the fruits that house the seeds of fulfillment.

Just to again awaken. Taking from it all as my eyes begin to open. Leaving my eyes to shed a tear and wonder how I can keep from waking up again. I reach for the covers and pull them up quickly, chilled from the morning air. Paradise lost by our fathers has become the burden bestowed upon the son. How can Eden be so close, so real, but gone so quickly.

Please Lord show me the way, show me how to return me to bliss. Forgive me of the wrong that has created this world that is absent of your light. If man only knew what he was missing, he would no longer be as foolish. For I have been given a look inside, and it is beautiful. Maybe the dream is a gift in a way. It allows us to see what is to come, or maybe it just permits us to see what we have lost.

Oh please Lord. Return me to bliss.

Let my eyes close forever and my soul be set free to fly. This world is holding me back from the place where it all began.

Maybe this is purgatory. Maybe this is the reign of a thousand years. Maybe this world is a test to see if we are worthy of the kingdom. Maybe our subconscious state is a preview, or a memory, or a glance at that ring made of brass. The carousel spins around as the world turns in a day. When we close our eyes we can see the ring within our grasp. We reach out for it with all our might, just to be awakened with empty palms.

I’m tired of waking up, feeling that I have left my life behind.

Oh Lord please, I have walked enough paths. I have climbed enough mountains. No path is yet to lead to righteousness and on no mountain have I found a burning bush. There have never been words written on any stone left for me to read. But I will continue to stroll the trails of the straight and narrow. And I will continue to seek the answers. For this I have no choice. I am sure there must be a purpose for this life you have given me. So I will continue marching through,

Because when it’s all over with, and I have finally reached the end. I want to know I did everything I could….