Thursday, July 28, 2016

Progress

Today I'm 13 dpiui and tomorrow is beta. My lines show up better with SMU, so I haven't tested yet today. Yesterday it took me a long time to get a test because I seem to have some kind of stomach bug that lands me in the bathroom frequently, joy. Dealing with it today too and I hope it passes soon. Naturally, I'm terrified of any kind of illness and I'm lucky that since I was last hospitalized in Sept, I've been very healthy. I went nuts on a bunch of vitamins and I am a user of essential oils and use a health one daily and will continue to do so. I will also ask for frequent monitoring of infections, but one step at a time.

Here's the progression so far. I've had a few people ask and I'm careful where I post these because there are many others still trying for their BFP and I'd hate for anything I have to cause someone else pain. The lines are looking good and I do suspect multiples, not just due to lines, but it's a gut feeling. I told DH this will either not work at all or it will and there will be more than one. He's eerily calm about this, I'm not, but I keep going back to focus on today, focus on today. Today everything is okay, today the pregnancy is going well, today "Mary" is thriving and that's all I can do for now.

I've had an outpouring of congrats and support. It's really meant a lot to me. Anyone who's seen me from the start or even a few months ago can see that I'm handling this emotionally better than I did Ivy. Ivy is the reason why this was able to happen. Ivy led me to healing after I realized how lost and broken I was. I'd like to think that my three, beautiful angels, are watching over "Mary" and helping keep everything well until "Mary" can join our family in person. But that's a long road off and I'm only focused on today.

Progress so far. The first FRER is 10 dpiui, I just didn't have a chance to mark it. For anyone not familiar with fertility treatments, in my case dpiui = dpo.

I'll update with beta results tomorrow once I get them. They tend to come later in the day.

My thyroid appt was kind of a bust. I'm going to get the testing that was recommended, but I'm not sure I like the clinic. I felt very dismissed about everything, I newly pregnant, and while happy, I'm terrified, there's also grief, it's just a lot, although I'm doing what I can to remain optimistic. Anyways, I felt like she didn't care about anything I had to say. I did meet with the PA and not dr. I explained my loss history and my thyroid issues, explained how I currently feel. She said all she cared about for pregnancy was my TSH, but they are testing a few things and want to do an u/s on my thyroid. My followup isn't until 8/17. I'd hoped for a sooner followup and also a script, because my free t3 is low. I'm going to look around and see if I can find another clinic. I'll call the recommended one with the weight loss and see if being pregnant helps me get an appt sooner.

For now I'm mostly okay, trying to stay positive and think good things. I don't know how long "Mary" will live or be a physical part of me, so I'm trying to take advantage of all the time I do get. Other than the stomach thing, I'm doing okay.

Thank you everyone for your words of support, encouragement, and for supporting me on this journey. It means so much to me.

Who's Dream Chase?

My husband and I have been married since 4/16/05 and together since 4/11/97. Our TTC journey starts in July 2011. I was diagnosed with DOR (diminished ovarian reserve) in Dec 2011. It took us 3 REs and 26 cycles to conceive my beautiful daughter through Femara/injectables/iui. Kate Lyn was born on my birthday 12/16/13. 14 cycles later we returned to my RE for the same treatment. We struck gold again and were excited to conceive b/g twins, Emma Lee and Chase David. Unfortunately I became very sick late May 2015 and both twins were born sleeping. Emma was born one day shy of 19 weeks on 5/25/15 and Chase was born the next day 5/26/15. Our rainbow, Ivy, was conceived in January 2016, but unfortunately passed on 2/12/16 at 6w2d. My D&C showed that Ivy was a boy and the cause of death was Trisomy 16. Currently pregnant with my final pregnancy and THB attempt. Grieving the loss of all my kids and missing them with each breath.