well, your right, your not as good as Mama CP. and reading this kinda annoyed me. but your plot is so good! but EVERYONE was OOC. and when youve got such a great plot on Dalton, i wouldnt write something like this. i really liked the story line, but i dont think you did your research properly. especially about news reports and police stuff. and Logan going into 'rage mode' its just, not the way CP writes it. so if your gonna use her amazing origianl charaacters, atleast, you know, keep to them?

but other wise its good. you cna write, but i think Dalton is a little too big for you.

oh and i would of liked Logan to have done more 'saving' and like why the HELL wasnt he doing more? like there could of been millions of clues and he jsut slept. and im pretty sure it says somewhere that hes watched all of Julians movies. he doesnt know his favourite colour? no. he was so SLOW on the clues. if someone i loved was in danger, especially if theyre going to DIE i wouldnt spend time on warbler practise (make and excuse) or sleeping. its just... not plausible!