Nick Cannon would like to know if you'd like your hamburger medium or medium RARE. The new father of twins with wife Mariah Carey (Monroe and Moroccan, lest you forget) donned a hilarious chef's hat to serve as the "grill master" at Nathan's annual Fourth Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest on Monday. Combined with his mustache, it DOES give him a little Swedish Chef (of The Muppets) meets Chef Louis (of "The Little Mermaid") appeal, doesn't it? Side note: Are fictional chefs contractually required to rock 'staches? DISCUSS. Anyway, the hot dog competition takes place in Brooklyn's Coney Island and is open to the public, drawing hungry crowds of professional EATERS from the New York City area. Seriously, each participant is the champion of his or her region. Oh hot dog eating competitions. You simultaneously impress and disgust us.

Hey Nick? We're rocking our eating pants, so make sure there's enough mustard left for us, 'kay? As long as you don't have some kind of marketing deal with Pepto-Bismol to serve us the kind of food that will render us in NEED of it.