BA staff threaten walkout over plans to make them wear little caps with bells on

The Unite union claims that it has reached a deadlock with British Airways in its ongoing dispute over the treatment of cabin crews. The union says that after it forced through concessions from the airline on pay and conditions, BA responded by insisting cabin staff wear new uniforms that replace the traditional wedge cap with a branded elf hat complete with shiny bell.

Unite spokesman Ron Small says, “BA knows it can’t win the battle so it’s decided to be spiteful and make its cabin crew dress as pixies. It is an act of revenge.”

BA boss Michael Patterson hit back saying, “I don’t see how Unite can seriously claim making someone wear a tiny cap with a bell is vindictive? Union leaders have told us time and time again that they are committed to protecting the rights of the little people, and we’ve merely taken them at their word.”

The jaunty little caps have been designed by Marius Kirkbride who has dressed celebrities such as Lady GaGa, Paris Hilton and Caroline Quentin. British Airways describe the caps as fun, practical, functional, comfortable and very jingly.

Commenting on the new design Marius Kirkbride said, “We wanted to emphasise the airline’s unique British heritage, reminiscent of both the style and elan of those very early days of air passenger travel, and BA loved it; they just asked us if wouldn’t mind sticking a bell on the end of it. It's symbolic or something.”

Not all BA staff have been outraged by the new caps. Mark Harrison, a British Airways flight attendant says, “I’m rather taken with it; it seems to say, listen, your coffee’s on its way.”

Marius Kirkbride adds, “BA set us a very difficult challenge, which was to create a uniform capable of humiliating 25,000 staff simultaneously; but I feel that we’ve actually succeeded in meeting the brief with a bold concept that really will make it’s people look like complete wankers.”