being a loving, faithful servant to the spirit of god

cold in heaven

And I’d give up forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I amIris, The Goo Goo Dolls

Billions of souls scream for a chance, for one person to know them, this opportunity, this blip in the damn vastness of space and heaven. That one person that fate brought together, that gets you, knows you, your stupid quirks, your jokes, your mistakes, your faults – not the fucking world, not your parents, not your friends, not even God, – but that one, that one, that one that you feel at the pit of your stomach when she touches your arm to say she loves you even after you have fucked up so many times. When she is away, your soul is hollow. When she drops her dress, the universe clears and all that you suffered melts away. That you would walk those 1000 miles for. That you would hold for an infinity if it meant healing her pain. That you would sacrifice your soul so that she is happy.

Damn you God for making this urge. Damn you God for making love hurt. I hate you for sparking the seed and then stepping away. I hate you for the millions of people that cry themselves to sleep at night because of loneliness, that extinguish their lives so early because YOU, YOU, YOU, A DIETY, a lonely god, want us to suffer, want us to crave love. God, are you lonely? Is that it? You figured heaven gets cold at night for the past billion years, so why not the rest of us, why not punish us for your insecurities.