Me: “Thank you for calling [pet microchip database company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I already have a microchip registered with your company, but our dog received another chip. We were hoping we could link them so we can avoid additional charges.”

Me: “I can fix that. What’s the old and new chip numbers?”

(The customer reads off both numbers, but one doesn’t sound right.)

Me: “Sir, what are you reading that number from?”

Caller: “It’s on the dog tag they gave us today.”

Me: “You see, that number doesn’t sound like one of our chips. Give me just a second.”

(I talk to someone in another department, who thinks the number the customer gave starting with an F should instead start with a 4. I change the number, and the number clears as a new, non-registered chip.)

Me: “Okay. We took another look at the number, and we think the tag has a misprint. If we’re not mistaken, that number should start with a 4, not an F.”

Caller: “I totally read that 4 as an F.”

Customer’s wife, faintly over the line: “That’s what I told you!”

Me: “That’s alright. We’ve already taken care of linking the two chips. Either one will work to identify your dog. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Caller: “Do you have a number for a speech therapist? Or a kindergarten teacher?”

(I lead her to where they would be, but we appear to be sold out. This is strange as all copies were put up this morning.)

Me: “That’s strange. We seem to be out of stock. Can I interest you in anything else?”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. What about this one?”

(They point towards ‘Harry Potter’.)

Me: “Oh, that’s a great book! It’s about a boy who becomes a wizard and-”

Customer: “Are there any werewolves?”

Me: “I think so. I haven’t read them in a while.”

(The customer grabs the entire series of ‘Harry Potter’ and leaves. As I’m about to return to my workstation, two teens run up to me, high-five each other, and tell me they hid all 70 copies of ‘Twilight’ in the ceiling when no one was looking. Although impressed, I have to report them to my manager. After doing so, my manager gives them each a $10 gift card.)

(A customer approaches the information desk at a large chain bookstore.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for the non-fiction section.”

Me: “Could you be more specific?”

Customer: “The non-fiction section.”

Me: “Well, the non fiction section includes computers, travel, art, poetry, religion, health, biographies, beauty and many other topics. It’s 60% of the store. Is there one area of non-fiction you are looking for?”