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The Stargate SG-1 Season Six Minicaps named its new spaceship the Normandy. It likes the Mass Effect video games.

Stewart here…

“Allegiance”

SG-1 has to do an emergency transport of Jacob and the Tok’ra to the SGC’s Alpha Site, where they are also hosting Bra’tac’s rebel Jaffa. There’s a bit of animosity between the Tok’ra and the rebel Jaffa, an animosity not helped by members of each party getting murdered by an unknown assassin. With tensions getting worse between all three groups at the Alpha Site, they have to work together to find the killer. And with the secrecy of the Alpha Site in jeopardy, they better work quickly.

This is a far cooler way to get a funeral than being set on fire like Jedis.

–So the assassin is not any one of the people there, but an Goa’uld assassin with Predator-esque cloaking technology that gets taken out with teamwork by everyone. Way to solve tensions, people!

–Jonas gets to sit out this episode at the SGC thanks to the lockdown of the Alpha Site. He’ll have downtime to watch the Weather Channel, apparently.

–A Tok’ra funeral is letting the corpses be dissolved by a Stargate opening. Beats burning them, which since they were laid out on wooden tables, is where I thought this was going.

–O’Neill is still a bit irritated by the Tok’ra thanks to his experiences with having one of their symbiotes lead him to brutal torture a few episodes ago. It’s gonna take a while to get past that.

–O’Neill: “Why do you guys have to be so dang…”
Jacob: “Arrogant?”
O’Neill: “Y… Ok.”

“Cure”

SG-1 makes contact with a new civilization who has claimed to make a super-drug that can heal any medical problem. That old idiom “if its too good to be true…” is true again here as the team discovers where, or what, the drug comes from: tank-bred Goa’uld symbiotes! And even worse, this addictive substance’s secret ingredient comes from one of the original Tok’ra queen symbiotes! Did I also mention a slight addiction problem with this miracle cure-all, because, there’s that too.

Have a Tok’ra queen to raise in your own home!

–This miracle drug actually becomes of big importance as the show progresses for not only the Tok’ra, but the Jaffa as well.

–This drug also has the problem (what a shock) of rendering its takers dependent on it, since it wrecks their immune system. Nice of the imprisoned queen Tok’ra to provide a cure for it before it died.

–Jonas befriends another woman in this episode, but luckily she doesn’t die (unlike the Tok’ra lady who ends up sacrificing her life to host the dying queen). So he’s batting even on the alive girlfriend/dead girlfriend tally.

–Yeah, if you end up falling into a giant tank of symbiotes, there’s a high probability of getting one if those things in you. Might be preferable than those real-life fish that swim into your urethra. Eww.

–“Qu’est-ce que c’est?”

“Prometheus”

In order to flush out a leak a reporter is using for a story that could endanger the SGC, they offer the reporter a opportunity to see their experimental spaceship, the Prometheus. But what turns out to be a quiet tour becomes nothing but as the ship is taken hostage by a team wanting Frank Simmons, and Goa’uld possessed Adrian Conrad. With Carter and Jonas trapped on the ship, O’Neill and Teal’c have to recover the ship once it ends up in deep space. And when that crisis, the team ends up in another one for a cliffhanger.

You know Picard would’ve loved to airlock Q any chance he got.

–So Conrad and Simmons get killed in this episode, and both have the evil symbiote in them (Conrad first, then it jumps into Simmons, where it takes an unexpected trip out into space along with its new host).

–Speaking of that fight with O’Neill and Simmons that ends with the latter exiting the Prometheus through an airlock, is it just my DVD copy or does that seem weirdly sped up, like it was filmed normal speed, then sped up by 1/2 speed later?

–Reporter lady’s producer buddy gets killed by the team that takes over Prometheus. Really, don’t stress on it too much, because you won’t see the reporter for the other half of this two-parter.

–So the big deal the Conrad symbiote made with Simmons back last season? Conrad had a weapons cache he would give to Simmons in exchange for transportation off Earth, which is why they had to wait for the Prometheus to come online.

–Carter: “Sir, based on the amount of time we spent in hyperspace, I’d estimate we’re at least twelve hundred light years from Earth.”
O’Neill: “How does that help us?”
Carter: “Ah, it doesn’t.”

“Unnatural Selection”

Picking up where we left off last episode, the Asgard need SG-1’s help to stop the Replicators on the Asgardians homeworld. The insane plan they come up with to do that: permanently trap the Replicators in a time dilation field. There is a hitch to the plan in the Replicators using the device to speed their development, evolving into more complex-thinking humanoids, which muddies things for most of the team. Can they end these creatures once and for all? Well yes, but no.

OH JEEZ STOP DOING THAT STOP DOING THAT

–It barely takes a minute to deal with all the stuff left open last episode. The Prometheus can’t find Earth? Asgardians transport them back there in a flash. The reporter and the prisoners? Beamed back to Earth. SG-1 needs supplies? Beamed those up. Seriously, its barely a minute of screen time.

–So the team manipulates the replicator humanoid, Fifth, and plays on his sensitivity (dare I say, humanity?) to help them escape and set off the time dilation device. Well, at least we don’t have to worry about those humanoid Replicators again…

–That scene with O’Neill, Teal’c, and Jonas eating the unrefrigerated Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. What’s a better way to discuss the handling of deadly robots?

NEXT TIME: An artifact causes paranoia when people start to see creatures from a parallel reality in “Sight Unseen”, the team must clear O’Neill of the assassination of Senator Kinsey in “Smoke and Mirrors”, things get complicated when SG-1 helps Maybourne recover a cache of alien technology in “Paradise Lost”, and the team must stop a deadly experiment to create the perfect human host for a symbiote in “Metamorphosis”.