I’m attending the US Open tonight. Maria Sharapova and Novak Djokovic are slated to play (not each other) on center court at Arthur Ashe stadium.

It’s always a thrill to watch the top seeds LIVE under the lights.

But if you’ve caught any of the tournament coverage to date, you may have noticed a bizarre preoccupation on behalf of the announcers. Not on stats or seeds or rivalries or revenge.

This year, it’s all about ‘what you’re wearing.’

John and Patrick McEnroe have anointed themselves the unofficial Joan and Melissa Rivers of ESPN2. They’ve been doling out fashion advice to male and female tennis players pretty much every match.

Nadia Petrova’s striped tennis dress was deemed ‘too loud; she really needs to seek out some help.’ They seemed to find her outfit a bigger problem than her defeat to Andrea Petkovic. I’ll admit — the stripes aren’t my favorite, either. But going on and on about her outfit seemed a bit like rubbing salt in the womb after she lost in a three-set tiebreaker.

Rafa Nadal’s neon tennis shoes were ‘a risk, but a good one.’ They did match his outfit, which I thought was cool since there wasn’t a stitch of white on him. But his match with Teymuraz Gabashvili of Russia was surprisingly competitive — I would have liked to have heard a bit more about this relative unknown.

Even in Andy Roddick’s late night upset by Janko Tipsarevic, there was as much talk about the many tats that Tipsarevic was ‘wearing’ as the lack of energy in Roddick’s game.

I know this is a change of pace for me. Here I am asking for depth when shallowness is being offered.

But we’re talking John McEnroe here — the snarliest man in sports telling people how to dress and shape their image on the court. Granted, both his look and personality have improved with age, but I don’t think anyone thinks of him as a style icon.