How to Stay Rooted When Your Life is Insane

Do you ever have times in your life when days or weeks seem to fly by, stuffed to the gills with projects, social events, vacations, etc?

Its easy to get lost in the chaos of it all, whether that chaos is good or bad. My life has been I N S A N E lately (See previous blog post concerning my vagabond lifestyle this summer), and I noticed that when that happens, I have a tendency to desert myself.

By that weirdly-worded phrase, I mean I forget to take some time and connect…with myself.

I’m naturally an extrovert, so I have NO problems connecting with other people. However, plenty of therapy + paralyzing fear every time I’m alone has taught me that the most important relationship I have is the one with myself.

Relationships need to be nurtured. Friendships take work. Marriages and romantic relationships take a LOT of work, so it follows that your relationship with yourself also requires dedication, understanding and empathy.

I’ve compiled a list of techniques I’ve learned through becoming a therapist, scanning self-help books, and good ole’ trial and error. Test some out! Or, if you already do some of these things, challenge yourself to do them a bit more than you are now. There is no such thing as too much self-care, folks.

Journal

I cannot stress enough how valuable journaling has been for me. If you’re not a writer at heart, I can understand how this seems daunting. A lot of my clients were terrified at the thought of writing about their feelings. BUT, there are SO many ways to journal! Examples:

Write something down then rip it up and throw it away. A lot of my clients liked this idea. The thought of having to read about their feelings at a later date give them anxiety. Also, the physical act of throwing it away is good for negative feelings; many clients felt like they could move on from the feeling afterward.

Jot down random things in the “notes” on your phone.

Sing a song in the shower about current events in your life. Bonus points if you actually create something that rhymes.

Write out a long text message about how you’re feeling lately and send it to a random number. When they ask “who is this?” say you’re Miley Cyrus and just needed to get some things out of your system.

Take “you” time

This can pretty much take any form; the key here is to be A L O N E. What recharges your batteries? What gives you peace? What helps you reconnect to the inner you?

Read a book

Walk into Sephora without any makeup on, sample all the make-up until you look amazing, leave Sephora.

Watch a TV show that puts you in a good mood (my personal fave is Friends). The key here is not to binge watch a show (that usually doesn’t make us feel great about ourselves), but rather watch an old favorite that will feel nostalgic and give you the warm fuzzies.

Meditate! Meditating can be tough at first, but there are countless benefits in practicing (more on that later).

Exercise!

Nap!

Exercise then take a nap!

Practice saying “NO”

Throughout my blog, you will find the idea of SETTING BOUNDARIES with people being reinforced. I have found this to be one of the main pillars of my life, both personally and professionally.

Setting boundaries lets people know where you stand, and saves you from having to cancel something you agreed to do *knowing* you had no intention of going.

When you agree to something because you don’t want to hurt that person’s feelings, you’re really just putting off “disappointing” them. Plus, cancelling last minute instead of saying “no” on the spot causes a lot more stress and anxiety for all parties involved.

Keep (somewhat) of a routine

While planners work GREAT for some people (If you take the time to write everything in a planner and keep up with it, kudos), I just can’t get into them.

Every time I’ve owned a planner it goes something like this: Fervently notate my plans for the week, smile at myself for being so responsible and tidy, find it in a random place a month later, again meticulously plan my week, see it again in a month, hate myself.

Do it your own way. For example: I have a pad of paper where I haphazardly scribble down lists, important dates, appointments, ideas, etc. Its not pretty, but I understand it, and know where to look if I need to double check something.

What are some things you do to stay rooted? How do you nurture your relationship with yourself?