I am Red. I am a Survivor. This is my journey.

#blessed

It’s been a long week post surgery. The surgery itself went quite well and frankly, I felt wonderful for the remainder of that day and most of the next. Then the weekend came and it was back to the insane headaches that leave me in tears in bed for days. I finally decided through gritted teeth and tear stained cheeks that it was time for a hospital trip. It’s not that I thought cancer was taking over my entire body but something has to give with the way that I’ve been feeling lately.

Joe called my oncologist and spoke to him Sunday. As it turns out, my nurse practitioner was doing her rounds at the hospital that we were planning to go to so she was able to set up all of the admissions paperwork and initial consults for me so that there wasn’t any waiting around and I was guaranteed a bed. So, a bit of light packing later while Jacob finished a nap and we were on our way. I won’t lie, the ride there was horrible and the idea of an ambulance each way quite tempting but I thought better against it. We dropped little man off with Grandma (he was a little too quick to say good bye to us and go play) and went to check ourselves in.

We’ve only been here since Sunday night but I had my first official brain MRI with tissue expanders removed – wahoo!! I had a breast MRI when initially diagnosed to confirm tumor placement but that’s all folks. A brain MRI was exciting and nerve racking to finally have done. And guess what? It’s ALL CLEAR!!! That’s right – I said it – ALL CLEAR!! TOTALLY STABLE FROM ANY BREAST CANCER IN MY BRAIN!! How awesome is that?! God is good, my friends. God is GOOD.

Now, that doesn’t quite tell us what is causing the headaches – the horrible, debilitating headaches – but it does tell us that it’s not from a tumor in my brain. Hallelujah!
There is talk about wanting to do a spinal tap / lumbar puncture to grab a sample of the spinal fluid to be tested for infection or cancer. There is also the possibility of the headaches being a side effect of taking Afinitor or Afinitor mixed with Xeloda. So for now we are taking a break from those to see if it helps. Basically, we are trying a bit of everything to see what helps…which I’m ok with because of how unbelievable these have been!

We have received an incredible outpouring of love and support over this last week – even when folks didn’t know what was happening in our lives. We can’t thank you all enough for every drop of that LOVE!!!

Almost all of the crosses that have been ordered have already been shipped and received – I’m just LOVING the pictures showing up of them, keep them coming! Please send me a message if you think you should have received yours by now and haven’t. 💚

I’m not entirely sure when I’ll be released but I anticipate being behind on life a bit when I am out. I also know I’m behind on responding to texts, emails and messages so I am sorry already for that. I appreciate your patience as I work to get caught up, though it will take time. I feel like “relaxing” in the hospital should be just that….but it’s not. I spend the day covering my face from these insane headaches, trying different combinations of medications to to stop them, figuring out what to eat without vomiting and trying to sleep in between. Blech.

Thank you for your continued prayers, support and love. 💚💚💚

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On Sunday, we spent the day at sea. It was wonderful. On a massive ship, we did not feel crowded or overrun. I was afraid that seasickness may rear it’s ugly head but I’m glad to say that despite feeling the slight rock of the boat dancing amongst the waves, it has remained at bay.

Jacob loved the pool and especially the hot tub! He had so much fun going in both. Despite his slight fear from swimming lessons, he let go of Daddy within a few minutes and became more and more brave as he swam around with his puddle jumper – always where he could touch, of course. 😉

We awoke to the sun rising above the clouds…it was amazing. We shut off all the lights at night and can watch the ocean from our bed through the window. Jacob took a nice nap halfway Through the day (and Momma too!).

Truly blessed.

What an incredible day at sea. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

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I slept almost 8 hours last night! Yes, interupted but I feel better already. 😊

Thinking about the fact that one month ago today, I was headed to brain surgery is crazy to me. Fear of the unknown, my recent cancer re-diagnosis and the possibility of defects was overwhelming. My trust and faith did not waiver despite all that seemed lined against me. Your continued prayers have been priceless in getting me through these times.

Tomorrow, I venture into the unknown world of the Gamma Knife Radiation. It is targeted radiation therapy to the section of my brain that had surgery versus whole brain radiation. Joe & I will arrive for check-in at 530 am for a 6am setup. I’ll receive IV fluids (though I will likely use my port because I learned last Friday at genetics testing that my veins are starting to scar over) and twilight medicine (versad) to help relax me. I’ll have a CT done (normally an MRI but I have tissue expanders and cannot have that done) to confirm the area that they are treating. The neurosurgeon that did my brain surgery and the radiation oncologist that I met earlier this month (not the same as my chest radiation oncologist, though partners) will partner on my plan. Once my plan is confirmed and in place, they will let me know the length of the procedure. Typically, it is about 45 minutes but can take up to 4 hours depending on what they find and treat. I am anxious for the CT scan to confirm there is NO active cancer in my brain!

I’ll have a “head piece” secured to my head with 4 different screws, 2 in my forehead and 2 in the back of my head. They will use lidocaine to numb the 4 areas and I understand each will hurt like a bad bee sting. The head piece itself is not going to feel awesome going in but I know it’s worth the process. I suppose my Halloween costume of Frankenstein has been picked out? 😉

Once I’m secured and my plan is in place, they will treat me. I understand that I will be sitting up because of the area but I imagine that depends on the treatment area. After treatment, I’ll be moved to the discharge area, where Joe will finally be able to see me (he has to hang tight up until then!). I’ll be given some food and water at that point (should be interesting on a raw diet!).

The process should take most of the day and I imagine that I’ll be ready to sleep afterwards. The side effects are mostly headache for a few days, possible nausea and the loss of hair around the treatment area. The benefits of the radiation will last significantly.

So tomorrow is a big day! I’ll take the day off from my chest radiation tomorrow to rest and be back to it Thursday. Never a dull moment for this chick! 😉 Have a happy Tuesday, everyone! 💚