it happens every now and then. i woke up this morning with an odd feeling that none of this is real...that i just don't belong here. it's times like this that i crave attention just so that i can know i still exist. all i want is for someone to touch me, bump into me, talk to me. it's not often that i want any attention in the morning, i don't even want to be spoken to...it's quite a reversal for me to need attention like that. it's foggy today...ridiculously foggy. the whole city draped in a dense curtain. very surreal...like it's here, but it isn't. didn't really help the feeling at all. so i hugged my wife, for no particular reason at all except to know that i was still here...that it was all real. we held hands in silence for the drive in to work. and for the first time in months...we kissed before i stepped into work...