tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34158973589444599942018-03-05T08:46:17.580-08:00Life AskewA shallow glimpse into my life as it is, rather than as it should have been.Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-63277127707509784302011-12-30T08:52:00.000-08:002011-12-30T08:52:01.172-08:00When Least Expected"Well... he never existed."
Shock, replaced immediately by incredulity and hurt. The above words were spoken to me by my brother, in reference to Aiden.
I had just been mentioning that I was planning a trip out to see our grandmother to introduce her to little Kevie as her first Bailey great grandson. I corrected myself right away, which confused my brother. He asked who the first was if not Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-57295180547226485352011-08-20T00:57:00.000-07:002011-08-20T00:57:52.179-07:00The AftermathIt's been a week since Aiden's birthday. I'm restless, tired, and emotionally volatile. Last weekend was really okay for part of me, the surface I show people so they don't worry, but underneath I'm torn up inside. Last week I had a birthday party for my dead son.
There was no little personal cake for him to tear at and make a mess of, no toys for him to play with, no ribbons or presents or Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-5993657144112157212011-08-05T12:29:00.000-07:002011-08-05T12:29:48.978-07:00Kaiser IrritanteLet's go a bit off topic for a moment and talk about something that's been crawling under my skin recently: Kaiser Permanente. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this company, it's a large, self-sufficient medical practice/insurance company, almost like a club. So you purchase membership to their insurance and then you get access to their doctors, hospitals, and facilities. Nothing wrong Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-85003118274752758442011-07-31T22:12:00.000-07:002011-08-02T08:47:58.492-07:00Letting GoA few weeks ago my grandfather passed away. Before you start feeling any sympathy, let me tell you a bit about this guy.
When I was a child my parents brought him into our home, because, honestly, I don't think anyone else would take him. He was a miserable person to be around, always 'joking around' by ferreting out your deepest insecurities and jabbing witticisms down your throat to make you Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-16065280326218994952011-07-27T22:34:00.000-07:002011-07-27T22:34:23.467-07:00Going FowardWriting here is really hard for me. Admission of feelings is a foreign thing to most guys. We're strong, we're stoic. We beat our chests and pretend to be invincible. We stand tall in the face of adversity, and face danger head on. We try to convince ourselves that we're modern day superheroes, and, to their credit, our female counterparts let us believe it.
But when it comes to admitting to a Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-73023264766037015882011-07-24T19:44:00.000-07:002011-07-24T19:44:16.334-07:00Special ThanksBy the way, I want to thank Francesca from Small Bird Studios for the blog overhaul. Much less 'Template Blog_01' and much more 'Kevin: Aiden's Father'. If you have a blog as well and are looking for a little flair aside from the default templates, go ahead and shoot over to http://blogdesigninspire.com/ and check out her work.Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-86886548160640603132011-07-24T19:34:00.000-07:002011-07-24T19:34:20.348-07:00Fatherhood 2: Second ChancesToday we're 6 months into pregnancy with our second child. Every second of every day has been a heart in your throat experience. Expectation is that something horrible is going to go wrong. Every morning I find myself asking Angie how baby boy is doing. Is he active? Has she felt him move recently?
So far all is well, but I'll always have that nagging feeling that at some point, for whatever Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-30539590876955103262011-03-19T00:31:00.000-07:002011-03-19T00:31:18.530-07:00From the Heart...I was sad today. It's been a few weeks since I've felt the weight of his loss... That's an odd concept. Something missing, being gone, but having a tangible feel and substance. Maybe that's the metaphysical law of spirit: the more you take away from it, the heavier it becomes. Who knows? In our lifetime I doubt we spend enough time in introspection to really grasp the dimensions of the soul. I Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-12301222473439617382011-03-15T21:59:00.000-07:002011-03-15T21:59:15.305-07:00Two Be or Not Two Be<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-72780216650211383232011-03-05T16:25:00.000-08:002011-03-05T16:25:25.975-08:00Dear Aiden,<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-11941949273945224742011-03-05T08:56:00.000-08:002011-03-05T08:56:59.910-08:00More on me...<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-23067096474010460552011-03-03T23:55:00.000-08:002011-03-19T00:40:02.783-07:00My Own Worst EnemyWords go here. Thoughts, ideas, concepts, dreams, desires... the fabric of a world unseen except in the mind's eye.
That was a pretty self-indulgent sentence, am I right?
Anyway, I began this blog to really explore what I could do with the written word. I wanted an outlet for the inner monologue that I rarely share. I consider my thoughts and ideas to rank as a distant second to complete Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-71767226642788637672010-11-19T13:30:00.001-08:002010-11-19T13:30:19.286-08:00Salutations<!--[if gte mso 9]> 1024x768 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-73614847410291376802010-11-17T12:32:00.000-08:002010-11-17T12:32:25.431-08:00Take That, Cretin!<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]>Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-48063573618500817982010-11-10T21:52:00.000-08:002010-11-10T21:52:15.338-08:00Circles and WallsI've been thinking a lot about grief and how to get through it. It's like being trapped inside a large maze inside our hearts and minds. We wander aimlessly upon our first entrance, and slowly we start to learn the turns and deadends. There're no guides or signs to lead us on our way, and every so often the proverbial minotaur rounds a corner and punches us in the stomach.
This happens a lot Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-17081584016663691192010-11-08T21:53:00.000-08:002010-11-08T21:53:19.292-08:00Really? Just... Really?I thought I was doing okay, I really did. Then Fran called. Fran is a patient who I’ve had a more involved relationship with due to frequent calls for various issues, and a way of subtly forcing me to talk to her for long periods of time about my life. She used to jokingly say that if she were 50 years younger she could have had me at the snap of her fingers, and that she had legs like Betty Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-69218866950282796332010-10-29T16:42:00.000-07:002010-10-29T16:42:57.282-07:00Fear of LifeAngie and I have been arguing. Not the screaming, yelling kind of fighting reserved for more explosive couples and certain TV dramas. Rather it was a quiet, 'I don't want to talk to you, look at you, think about you' type of argument that is, in some ways, far more devastating. And definitely harder to resolve. When you don't know why the other person is angry or upset and can't get them to Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-77164091676516220892010-10-27T18:38:00.000-07:002010-10-27T19:19:24.189-07:00The Clever BiscuitThis is a story I came up with about a month after we lost Aiden. Hope you enjoy it:
The tale of the clever biscuit begins with it’s creation. There once was a bag of rice stored in a basement with various unused odds and ends. One day the earth shook and the bag tipped over, ever so slightly brushing against a tiny brass lamp. Now, this was no ordinary lamp. This was one of those ancient Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3415897358944459994.post-75926204715171968582010-10-27T15:35:00.000-07:002010-10-27T19:20:22.107-07:00The Reason Behind the AskewHello, my name is Kevin. Being my first post, I'd like to use this space to detail why I've decided to share my thoughts and words on the almighty interweb.
Two months and 14 days ago I had a son. I've never been more proud of any creation before or since that little boy graced my life. His name was Aiden, and he was the spitting image of his old man: Tall, skinny, fiery red hair, hands like a Kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08726606174573234814noreply@blogger.com5