Dave Barry

Dave Barry, author of numerous books and a weekly syndicated column with the Miami Herald, is well known for his scathing wit and deep insight into current political issues, exploding toilets, current economic trends, exploding whales, the future of America, exploding pop-tarts, and international relations.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing ...Show more »

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. Show less «

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex usually turn out to be, like, ...Show more »

People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex usually turn out to be, like, eighty. And their letters always end with, 'Just joking.' Show less «

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view ...Show more »

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. Show less «

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of...Show more »

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. Show less «