Stepping into the #1 running back role for the as-yet undefeated, soon-to-be defeated NFC champs is… (clarion of trumpets sound) Maurice Morris! Great. Maurice Morris. Now I know how Jennifer Aniston felt when she got dumped by Brad Pitt and started dating Vince Vaughn. And I just compared being a Seahawks fan to being Jennifer Aniston. Jeez. As if things weren't bad enough already.

Here's a fun topic: who deserves a more painful death — John Madden, or everybody who brought up the Madden Curse before the season and is crowing about it now? Well, it just depends on your tastes. Like, I think Hitler was worse than Stalin, but Stalin sure did kill a lot of people.