In the Dark Carnival campaign of Left 4 Dead 2, you can win a garden gnome at the fairground near the start – and there’s an achievement for carrying it all the way to the end. It is, in fact, the same goddamn gnome I carried through Episode goddamn Two, for the same goddamn reason: there was an achievement for it.

By the end of that ordeal, I prayed I’d never set eyes on his (“stupid fucking”) face again – but here he is, and here I am, and here we go.

The gnome in his prize box: you have to score over 750 points in a shooting gallery game to win him, which isn’t actually easy in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

When I finally did win him, I discovered that he has something of a violent side:

Smokers want him:

He doesn’t like to look at zombie guts:

He’s afraid of rollercoasters:

He’s calm under pressure:

And while he doesn’t see dead people – or indeed anything – dead people see him:

It took several runs to even get to the finale. Twice I ran out of time in real life, and when I did have an evening free, I got so caught up apologising for accidentally setting everyone on fire that I played through a whole level before realising that I’d lost him.

Once I got into a few games that worked, with people willing to help, we found that Rochelle hates him:

Ellis worries about him:

Coach is serious about him:

And Nick doesn’t fucking trust him:

But through it all, the gnome is serene, the gnome is beatiffic, the gnome is- is the gnome strangling Rochelle?

It looks like the gnome is strangling Rochelle.

She seemed to like carrying him even less after that, but she did it anyway.

It eventually became apparent that my quest was under some kind of curse. I got into so many bad games that I eventually settled for playing with one quiet European stranger, who played virtually the entire campaign using only the katana, and showed no interest in the gnome. His businesslike dispatching of the slavering hordes seemed to say “I have more important things to do.”

He was good, though, and at last we made it to the finale.

(In case anyone mistakes this for a screenshot that doesn’t involve a gnome, he’s in the bottom right.)

In all my cursing of attempts cut short or failed through distraction, I never really considered that I might just not be able to do it. But Quimby and I immediately hit real problems with the final battle.

On our best run, we lasted until the rescue helicopter arrived, with enough time to spare for me to truly panic: where’s the gnome? I’d left him in the mosh pit, but all I saw were corpses. Dying I could live with, but succeeding? Without the gnome? Unthinkable.

Suddenly, over voice chat, the previously silent, previously gnome indifferent Quimby stated in an unplacable accent: “I have the gernome!”

He did, but he fell. And though I snatched the gernome from his body, a Tank barreled into me on my last hitpoint, and I lay dying, alone, inches from the helicopter, that ceramic asshole beaming obliviously by my side.

We needed help.

Happily, that’s about when freelancer Will Porter showed up:

Along with Craig:

And even the gnome seemed unusually pleased.

The fight that followed was still tonguey.

Sometimes crushy.

Sometimes not far off an actual nightmare.

But after three or four attempts, and an appallingly timed crash, we made it. I climbed aboard the chopper, gnome tightly in arms, and watched guiltily as the other three struggled to survive. I couldn’t provide covering fire with the gnome in hand, and I wasn’t about to try setting him down inside a moving helicopter with no doors after coming all this way. Craig made it, as did late joiner Dark Wolf, but Will was too fat or crazy to escape the fray.

Sorry lady, the class where your head stays intact is all booked up.

We might have something in economy though.

My prize. It’s over. I’m exhausted. The added stake of all the work it takes to get the gnome to that final battle charges it with a terrifying pressure, which triggers a wildly inappropriate surge of adrenaline. The very real possibility of losing him in the chaos at the last minute is horrible to contemplate.

Now that I’m finally done with it, I just want to relax. But I have a nasty feeling that chipped-hatted twat is going to drop from the skybox ten minutes into Episode Three, and I’ll be forced by my own idiocy to go through this dark ritual once again.

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Alex-chan!: the annoying thing about the gnome is that you're essentially made helpless with it, you cant even melee spam, that and the horrible way the chopper parks in that finale makes this acheivement hard...

Ludo: Great stuff! Can't wait for the inevitable Episode 3 edition, though I'm even more interested in how they're going to get the gnome safely back to earth

Dante and I are having a friends round for a now somewhat traditional L4D LAN party to get stuck into L4D2 over the weekend, after which I will almost certainly start dreaming about zombies again.

flatluigi: Oh, so did I. Then Valve erased all of my achievements and I had to do it again. :(

It was a lot easier the second time, mainly because some ass told me that he breaks if he gets damaged at all the first runthrough.

1stGear: I propose that Valve name the Gnome achievement in Ep. 3 "For You, Mr. Francis."

Jambi: Having played through the finale once already, we assured ourselves we knew where the helicopter landed - the right side of the stage up the stadium steps. So we put the gnome there for safekeeping, ready to pick him up at the end.

Lo and behold, as the finale ends and we have all run to the gnome to await rescue, the helicopter lands on the left bloody side of the bloody steps and we all bar one die miserably crossing the moshpit of tanks.

We gained the achievement but, like flatluigi, had it erased. Foiled again.

Wilson: Why do I have the suspicious feeling that Valve put the gnome in L4D2 just for you to crucify yourself all over again? ><

Dr. Nerfball: Just looked up Vote Quimby's profile, he's more likely Chinese than generic-European, figured that out from him being in Club China =P Go brainles curiosity! He also deserves major props for putting up with your insane OCD for many a re-try. Truly, a king amongst random strangers.

Oh, and kudos to your writing style and talent with the screenshots Mr. Francis, you have managed to make this journey far more interesting than it had any real right to be. Mmm... tasty suspense.

Also, what difficulty was this on? Surely normal can't be that difficult? (I will admit that I've not actually played this game yet, I'm to poor to own a copy, and the demo seemed ludicrously easy until the highest difficulty)

Tom Francis: Interesting! I notice the description for the Club China group, though, is written in Dutch.

Yeah, this is just on Normal. Some of the finales, specifically this one and Dead Center's, are way out of whack with the rest of the game's difficulty. The rest, as you saw in the demo, is pretty much like Left 4 Dead 1: not much sweat if you play by the book.

dartt: In our madness, we took the gnome through Dark Carnival on advanced, having to restart the campaign once when the gnome was thrown in to the safe room but not picked up before the door was closed (making him disappear during the load).

We made it though, eventually, and you can only imagine my horror when I realise, days later, that my achievements have somehow been reset.

Has anyone else experienced this problem? I was hoping it was an intermittent problem with connecting to the stats server but my 23 precious achievements have not reappeared.

Tom Francis: It's widespread: the retail launch seems to have wiped Steam customer's existing achievements. Historically Valve have been fairly good at getting stuff like that back, but it's suspicious that nothing's happened yet.

I actually found the gnome transitioned fine if left lying on the floor of a safe room at the end of a level.

Rei Onryou: After working on a campaign for a while (and real life work stopping that), safe rooms are set up to transfer all items across in the same position they were left, providing that the position of checkpoint anchors (don't remember their name) are positioned relative to those in the previous level.

So now you know.

I tried for this with strangers on normal. I got to the bit just before the safe room on level 4. There was so many zombies and none of the others were moving forwards (not realising the horde wouldn't stop I guess), so I put him down, and beat ass. I got knocked down, and after being lifted back up, he was gone. I guess the horde got him. Was so heartbroken by it. Although, since I lost my achievements, I guess it wasn't that bad in the end. Will try to earn it again today.

dartt: Huh, okay, I guess he got knocked back out of the room during the fighting (we had a security breach) or perhaps he despawned because we took to long.

I wondered if they kept backups of the achievements and whether they would restore them if the problem was widespread, you've given me a little hope.

CloakRaider: Dark Carnival's finale is one of the hardest, easily.

Playing it on versus is a frankly hateful experience.

richmcc: Is the gnome still a vortex of strange physics, getting worse the further into the game you get? He dropped out of my car once in Ep2, I stepped out to retrieve him, and as he rolled towards me, flung me way above the level's skymap, and out into the abyss of non-game at the edge of the world.

I think it was his revenge for me wedging him between pylons in the car and driving at terrifying speeds.

Rei Onryou: I must have been lucky, since I haven't found any of the finales hard yet (Dead Centre, Dark Carnival, Swamp Fever), although they do have the occasional hiccup. Then again, I am playing on Normal and haven't touched Versus. Also, playing with randoms so far.

Alexander: I have yet to try this one, but I know it's gonna be a hard one just based on this... I was never able to master stuffing the gnome in the car, and ended up doing a cycle of "pick up, throw, drive to, get out, repeat". But these achievements really challenge you to do something grueling and hard with a meager reward, and I like the satisfaction of it afterword. Valve, you cunning bastards, you make us happy to do work!

Captain Bland: I don't realise how bad my Left 4 Dead 2 looks until I see screenshots like this. Haven't tried Hard Rain yet, but I think it might kill my computer. When you can't even run Valve games, you know it's time for an upgrade.

Rei Onryou: Hardest thing I've tried to do so far is the Sugar Mill achievement. Randoms are crap to work with.

Of course, the hardest thing I've heard of so far is Expert Realism. That'll be a killer. Wouldn't even begin to guess which campaign would be best to do that on.

Smurfy: Clearly you shouldn't play with such noobs. The guy playing as Coach in the "serious" picture is such an idiot.

Verde Flash: I remember when I first tried the gnome thing in HL2: Episode 2.

Every once in a while I would accidentally step on my gnome, and it would make me twitch a few feet to the left. Oddly, the more I would step on Li'l Jean-Claude, the further he would cause me to fly.

By the last few maps I was being repeatedly skyrocketed to the tops and edges of maps.

My gnome was Satan.

Akirasfriend: I can't believe that little bastard is really called Gnome Chomsky, as explained in the PCG podcat. Christ almighty.

And that game really does look pretty. What kinda spec do you have to run it like that, Tom? My eyes bleed with glory.

Floodkiller: I've found that the safest place for the gnome during the finale is the wooden tower that is just to the left of the stage (when looking towards it from the lighting controls). If you throw him in the one side that doesn't have paneling, then shoot him towards the open end from the other sides, you can get him poking out just far enough to grab, without otherwise exposing him to the horde and other problems. Another spot to avoid lots of gnome carrying problems is to toss him towards the controls on the roller coaster crescendo, thus only having to carry the gnome for maybe an eigth of the track.

This is coming from someone who has taken the gnome through three times (once on easy by myself, once on Advanced with my friends, and once on Normal with everyone doing Confederacy Of Crunches at the same time (don't ask me why we chose to do it with a gnome :S) ).

finale: Heh, floodkiler is the man. My only gripe in gnome territory is that it isn't in the other campaigns too. Imagine swamp fever with the gnome.

Infovore » Links for November 21st: [...] I Played Through Left 4 Dead 2 Holding A Goddamn Gnome, by Tom Francis "In the Dark Carnival campaign of Left 4 Dead 2, you can win a garden gnome at the fairground near the start – and there’s an achievement for carrying it all the way to the end. It is, in fact, the same goddamn gnome I carried through Episode goddamn Two, for the same goddamn reason: there was an achievement for it. By the end of that ordeal, I prayed I’d never set eyes on his (”stupid fucking”) face again – but here he is, and here I am, and here we go." Tom Francis gets the gnome achievement in L4D2, and lives to tell the tale. (tags: games achievements writing tomfrancis l4d2 ) [...]

Timmargh: Excellent read.

Kowl Slaw: Whew. I just got back from trying this achievement. That god damn Gnome must have had it out for us. We started doing the level on Normal and, after a little while, decided that it would be best to try to get the Gnome during this run.

Eventually we got the where the little guy was locked up in his box, and we all lined up firing squad style and let loose a torrent of boolets at the targets. First time: we failed. Apparently some people didn't realize that Mr. Peanut was not a target to be hurling projectiles at high speeds at. Second time: No idea what happened. We just didn't shoot enough, I guess. Then a Horde came. Third try: I explained to everybody which targets to hit, and then we all crouched up as could as we could. We finally won this time, and I claimed the Gnome as my own.

Everything was going smoothly for a while, not much happened. I still had the Gnome, and I courageously hid in the corner while the Tank mauled the rest of my team. After this, we all decided to bump the difficulty down to Easy. We continued forward, cutting, through the zombie masses. We had a little trouble getting out of Kiddie Land, but nothing that we couldn't manage. Finally, we limped our way the the Tunnel of Love.

With Gnome in hand, my team and I loaded up, dropped some incendiary ammo, and sprinted out the safe room. I hung back while the rest of my team dealt with the zombies. Nothing too hard so far.......until we found the Witch. My friend Pheonix asked if anybody had a Shotgun, which I was conveniently carrying. Luckily, I still had my incendiary ammo, and, dropping the Gnome, I figured that this would be a piece of cake. I turned off my light, and crawled over to behind the Witch. She began to stand up, and I executed a perfect, fiery, shotguny head shot. She burst up into flames, screaming. I turned to re-grab the Gnome, then realized something. She wasn't dead. She threw me to the ground, obstructing my vision with flames as I fired wildly into the air. I figured that my friends would help me up. They hammered away at her, pumping her full of lead and splinters.

To make a long story short, I died. Confused, I asked if it was still on Easy. It was. The Witch went on to claim another victim, while the other two ran, still shooting. After about 3 minutes, we realized that it must have been a bug, as the Witch would have been dead regardless of what difficulty we were playing on. Sighing, we decided to restart the map. The vote started and we all hit F1. Apparently, the person that started the vote accidentally hit the "Restart the entire campaign" button. When the map started up and we realized the mistake, everyone groaned, and left the game.

I hate that Gnome.

Kowl Slaw: Typo D:

I accidentally used the word "Could" twice instead of "Close" in the firing squad part.

Verde Flash: I just went and got the achievement. I did it on easy and singleplayer, because I am lazy and have no friends, respectively.

1stGear: @Kowl Slaw: That's the second report of an invincible witch that murders the entire party. Enough to make me curious as to whether or not its a bug or an intentional surprise on Valve's part.

Verde Flash: Has anyone here gotten the Jimmy Gibbs Jr. Common Infected in the Atrium Finale? Apparently it shows up every once in a while and has 1000 hp.

TooNu: It makes me sad that L4D2 couldn't have just been some expansion for the first game. Oh well, nice write up again about that damn gnome :)

EGTF: Brilliant read Tom, it's always good fun playing with you. If Episode 3 is co-op at all, I call a spot to help.

On a dissapointing note I did the gnome run again, and it seems achievments have been wiped again (including yours). As I'm sick of his face, I think I'm going to leave it at that unless they make it so a melee attack with him insta-kills a tank.

Kowl Slaw: 1stGear:

Well played Valve, well played. The gnome eludes me yet! Oh, and all my achievement/stats got erased. Wheeee.....

DoctorDisaster: L4D2's graphics on full are indeed awe-inspiring, as is the Dark Carnival finale. I haven't bothered to grab the gnome yet, but after reading this, I just might. I'm not much of an achievement whore, but it sounds like the experience itself could be worth the effort.

So far, though, Hard Rain is my favorite thing ever. I want weather effects like that in every L4D map now.

And while we're on the subject of mods, anyone know how to turn off the earsplitting Rochelle scream?

Tom Francis: It doesn't make the game much harder the way Ep2's does, it's just the finale itself is hard already. I get the impression Valve felt the first game's finales were maybe too uneventful, or too controlled. They were always difficulty spikes, but they've pretty much doubled here.

Sam: With the graphic you gotta watch out if you have a low or high gore version cause some countries only have the low gore.
Tried with bots, failed miserably.
Trying with mates this weekend. Gonna be fun :D

Smee: It's a great story, especially with the dramatic finale, but I have to say I'm confused by all the difficulty everyone seems to be having. I found the entire escort rather easy, and I even 'won' the gnome by myself with a couple of pistols. I was the only one to carry it throughout the whole campaign, and I was playing with one other random and a couple of bots. The whole thing was simple, straightforward and largely uneventful. Did I just get lucky?

Left 4 Dead 2: No PS3 and Gnomes | Bombchu: [...] Also, there’s an achievement where you play through the game with a gnome. One man happened to take a photo journal of his adventures with gnome throughout the game. It’s glorious, so check it out here. [...]

Volt: I did this one as well. Only the achievements reset the following night...

Jamie: How much is the achievement worth? It has to be worth a lot. Please e-mail at jamiem1122@aim.com

Travis: Same God Damn Gnome from Episode 2 indeed.... it's amazing what achievements can make us do!

sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: This is a question unrelated to any gnomery.

I've been mulling it over, and I'm considering purchasing the game for my girlfriend and I, but all bets will be off if the game is, as you described it, sub-par. We've played the demo, and were largely unimpressed. However, we can't consider it a fair representative of the rest of the game, considering it's less than two-fifths of a campaign. We loved the first game, and there's lots of stuff we enjoy about L4D2, we're just unsure if we want to drop 100 bucks for two copies of a game that, in your words, felt "rattly and insubstantial".

You're one of my most trusted critics, and your reviews rarely lead me astray, so it seemed only natural to ask you.

Joe: This is the worst game known to man. It was made for idiots. Don't get me wrong, I'm a gamer but I prefer things that require thought. This is just senseless shooting. Where's the game? I cant believe how dumb people are today that they would actually find this game entertaining for more that 20 minutes.

Tom Francis: Aw, thanks. I have had some fun with it, but after one play through each I'm already bored of all the new campaigns, and Scavenge mode has just enough potential to infuriate me when it doesn't live up to it. Fiddliness, glitches, the impossibility of team work with strangers and my own lack of skill make that about 80% of the time for me.

I still don't think melee weapons really work as well as they need to (chainsaw excepted), and the more open levels mean I pretty much have to use an assault rifle rather than my preferred shotgun. It's an N for me.

Verde Flash: I personally am still enjoying the game. I've played through all of the campaigns once now, and I am excited to start trying expert/realsim. The scavenge mode endears itself to me as it necessitates lots of new strategies.

I would have to agree that the melee weapons are unfun to use, save for the machete, katana, and chainsaw.

And I'm just a weird person, but I really enjoy being forced to work with strangers. I have no idea why.

I would give it a yes. A yes and a thumbs up along with a creepy wink.

Bandit451: The first L4D was okay, like Pentadact, I felt that the campaigns were less fun the second time. The game itself only really became fun when I made some friends and got a good group to run with. After a few weeks it became a fun ritual and the friends made it so much more fun to play.
However, there are a few things that annoy me: some Melee weapons feel very lame(crowbar and machete I'm looking at you), how incredibly stupid the robot survivors are, massive difficulty spikes (two tanks at once on parish finale, every single time I’ve played it, I have never kept the bots alive through that), and of course the really stupid people.
Overall I would say buy it. It has a lot of fun improvements over the first one, Scavenge is a fun alternative to versus mode, and even though you need a good group to enjoy it properly, you are already halfway there. It gets a Y from me.

Raze: I love these stories, cracks me up every time

sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: Thanks much for the hasty reply, Tom! I also appreciate the other players' opinions. Keep 'em comin', folks, this really helps.

Soliton: Gnome Chompski.

I just can't stop fucking laughing at that. It's the simplest of fucking puns, and for some fucking reason I can't stop fucking laughing.

Roadrunner: One day I'd like to do realism expert with 3 other people who don't commit more friendly fire than...a seizure sufferer in a house of mirrors.
Sometimes it's difficult to come up with amusing metaphors for no reason.

CureZen: I did it with my clan leader, who promptly decided that because he was holding the gnome he must do NOTHING the entire time. during the finale he decided to help and threw the gnome down. then the copter came and wouldn't you know it. he had no idea which way he had thrown it. we spent a few minutes running from a tank while looking for the gnome. when i was the last one left i just yelled "FUCK IT" and ran for the helicopter.

guess who was waiting for me there. SOME HOW the gnome had managed to get into the copter(probably got hit by zombies from the top of the seats). so i got the gnome and got into the copter while my clan leader let out a stream of curses about a minute long.

we then found out that ALL of the team gets the achievment.

Tom Francis: Heh, good story. Was it really just knocked in there? The chances seem astronomical.

Kayleigh: I totally did that too. 8D My friends were all "COME ON LETS LEAVE IT. |:" and I was like "NOPE. THERE'S GONNA BE AN ACHIEVEMENT. I KNOW IT."

T3h Cub3 Hump3r: I got this my first try. No joke

Tom: What a great article. Thanks, dude. A little humor goes a long way.

sockets 13: i tried playing it this weekend on xbox and i got interrupted... but im going to try again on another day. the gnome is really really scary looking... it creeps me out.. i lol'd at the the characters faces when they were holding it haha

Verde Flash: I don't think I'm going to be able to go through this campaign with out at least trying it forever now.

BuLLgOd: Achievements didn't go away forever, in the game menu, disable the Steam Cloud, then quit the game, then come back in and enable the Steam cloud. Close the game and check out your achievements... Worked foe me in the PC version.

Bandit451: Darn, I was really hoping BuLLgOd's trick would fix my stats. They are so incredibly messed up, I actually have a negative games played, I am at -38 right now and slowly working my way into the positives. I have zero kills with the Tonfa, and yet I have the Club Dead Achivement.

anonymous: wow the graphics are a lot better

BB: Why not drop the gnome on the seats where the helicopter lands before starting the fight? Keeps him nice and handy when the time is right.

Tom Francis: As mentioned further up-thread, it's random which side of the venue the helicopter lands.

Impulse101: The survivor's expressions are priceless. Nice article man, this just made my day.

WhiteRaven: When I found that little bastard I beat the hell out of him!!! I have 0 tolerance for his tart ass after seeing you go through it the first time.
Valve is a bunch of sadistic assholes cause they know full well that someone out there will not be able to resist that little creepy SOB.
So to you my friend I salute you and everyone else who had the balls and patience to go through that hell!

Doug Rosbury: Your profane language does not speak well for you.
It's a big turn off for me. Thus spake Zarathustra.

a;lsfkd: a;lsfkdthus spake zara

Krisjones360: OMG! Cant beleive you had trouble with the gnome! Did it in about 2hours, the whole campaign and getting the gnome, and i was on splitscreen with my friend! Infact what difficulty did you have it on? i did it on normal cos its was my first run thru of the level! You probably tried on realism! Crazy Days...

Jake: What sucks about the whole thing is I finally got in the chopper with the stupid gnome. I put it down to shoot the other zombies to back up my teammates and they all got hit down. The problem was, is that I didnt have the stupid gnome in my hands so they chopper took off with me in it and the gnome floating in mid air. Wow!! that was crap!

Anonymous: long blog is long

Aftershock: Did this in Ep2, infuriating that was. I really need to buy L4D2 now, so i can do this..

Catface: If you throw a molotov on the shooting range you will get all the points and you win the prize within a few seconds or so. Just a tip :)

Krisjones360: On the xbox 360 you get the Guardin' Gnome achievement aswell as a bright pink Depeche Mode T-Shirt for your avatar! Also Dark Carnival is the only level you can get the Clowned, Fried Piper, Stache Whacker and Gong Show achievments. Someone try it on realism with the Gnome and post your time.

Killer}HvC{2.0: Man....imo Dark Carnival pisses me off when it comes to trying to beat the games story in order without restarting, because the 4th chapters cresendo is sooooo fucked up, thats the only issue i had when it came to getting that achievement....

Dan: Well Bear, next time you want to come round and be a buzzkill I want you to announce yourself at 100 meters.

Luna: gnome chompski was a bitch to save hahahaha

H1Z1: Got him done in one try, i was playing with a couple admins of a poke'mon rpg and some random dude, gnome was so epic i just HAD to carry him, we learned ways to shortcut the gnome, like tossing him over the fence to the bottom of the slide, the entrance to the tunnel o' love, and tossing him over the fence next to the arena so he's right by the safehouse, then chainsaw/katana/grenade launch our way through the hordes.

Steot: lol, i actually got this achievement myself by cheating a little bit, i happened to join a game where my friends were making a tutorial video on how to get this one and i joined right at the finally. you actually can put him down in the helicopter though, he just floats in the middle where there are no seats but we held on to him just to be safe.

BaSH PR0MPT: It hurt. My god it hurt. But that depeche mode t is oh so kickin' rad. :(

icouldbeahero: Gnome Chompski is a bit of a mis-gnomer.

Verde Flash: AHAHAHA 'icouldbeahero', you ARE my hero for that pun.

Calhoun: Did it on Realism, Normal Difficulty
took just under 2 hours. The Finale we had to try twice, but the Roller-coaster run was the most memorable part.

Ellis was dead, Rochelle was in the safe-house, and me and Nick were watching each others backs, only i had the gnome. I also had just 1 HP. It was so tense. We Made it, somehow, we made it.

Itchie-sama: That was a bunch of damn good shots = )
Made me understand how i love this boring sequel.

Venus: maybe someday I'll try! Great pics

BaSH PR0MPT: God I hate that gnome, had to redo it on a new profile, without a team that knows how to work together you're pretty much doomed.

Casey: Ah, I do love your little story. I had the same issues with that damn gnome. Maybe it's just me, but it seems as though every little damn thing happens to the one person holding the gnome. Every special targets him, every tank mauls the person with the gnome twice as hard as the last. It's irritating to no end, but you made me laugh. Good show.

Dr. D: Awesome story. I think that my future attempt to save the little jerk will just be as terrifying as yours...

The Bear: I bet in episode 3 the gnome is going to fall from the sky and land right in front of you.

Aldo: Nah, you'll probably find it on Xen or something.

Kristen: Wow. You're really funny. I appreciate your writing skills and wry humor. Thank you for your story and help with figuring out where Gnome Compski was.

SuspectK00L: ... I hate that gnome, I spent that whole freaking level switching between me carrying it and my friend almost losing twice and finally at the end I set it down in the helicopter to shoot for my friend who was running from a tank... He made it, but he made it because the tank punched him in so I was unable to grab the gnome...

TheFretfulGnome: After two brutal chapters with that gnome, I finally made it to the finale. I was playing with bots so it wasn't easy but I made it through. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing. By the time the chopper came Nick was dead, Rochelle was being strangled by a Smoker and Coach was trying to save her. I knew there was no time to lose, I made my move for the gnome dodging zombie after zombie I finally made it when one of the suckers jumped in after me. In a moment of sheer panic I tried to knock the zombie out with the gnome but instead I threw it out of the chopper. I leaped for it but it was too late. The gnome just lay there staring up at me and smiling as the chopper lifted into the air.

Anonymous: I was doing it and after the 10th time of doing it i was finaly suscessful. But bringing it into the saferoom a smoker got me and the gnome disapeared and i died looking for it and everyone went to the saferoom and we beat the thing without the gnome and didnt get the acheivement.

Anonymous: I think it was really easy on Expert

Hetnikik: I got the gnome to safty on Saturday. It actually wasn't to bad. The game kept switching difficulty on us though so we stuck on parts untill we figured that out.

wizpip: I remember finding the gnome in Half-Life 2 without realising what it was for. I launched it into the sky (and it disappeared far into the distance). When I finally found out it was an achievement, at first I felt a little upset. Then I realised that gnomes weren't made to be saved from an apocalypse; if anything, the apocalypse was created to destroy them.

melissa: OMG! That was soooooo funny

brad: lol my sister threw him at a tank

bob: haha brad

brad: well the other day i was on my way getting that stupid acheivment i got him in two tries because my sister threw him at a tank and he punched him into infinity and beyond. the second time i played through with him like pentadact said everyone wants him but he didnt say anything about the charger OMG it took me forever to get the achievement cause they kept coming for me and no one else

RiiotZ: awesome read , but after reading it i went on a 6 hour rampage trying to save the bloody gnome done it eventually with 3 randoms that sounded like alvin and the chipmunks. neway i saved the evil little gnome all at the cost of my hearing . a small price to pay . :)

Mallori: This has made me want to play this game even more now than I did before. I'm buying an xbox360 specifically for this game.

gaming information: Episode 3 will likely involve you portaling into outer space to where the rocket landed (to fight the Combine, of course) and finding the gnome there.

pissed: I DID THAT STUPID CAMPAIGN AND RESCUED THE GNOME AND DID NOT GET THE ACHIEVEMENT!!!!!
I PUT THE FUCKER IN A CHAIR ON THE CHOPPER TO DEFEND MY PARTNERS, AND i GUESS YOU HAVE TO BE HOLDING HIM AT THE END OF THE RESCUE. HOW FUKIN STUPID IS THAT?

Bret: About as stupid as complaining about it to the one guy who knows how hard it is more than anyone and expecting sympathy?

Alex Luthor: Superb article! It took me three hair-pulling attempts to get through the mission with Chompski. First time I dropped him whilst in the chopper to lay down some covering fire for Coach as he got onboard - and as the aptly named 'pissed' points out, to have him on the deck of the heli just don't cut the mustard. Second time I boarded our whirlybird with the intentions of ducking safely into a corner with my arms around the little porcelin bastard. Sadly I hit the wrong button and threw him out onto the stadium floor as we took off for another major gnomefail. Third time was the charm though, and he's worth the effort - don't know what I'd do without the pink girl's Depeche Mode t-shirt for my avatar....maybe...

Bubba: This is really the hardest thing i have done on this game.

GuitarStrings: LMAO... ellis was all "you never told me about you and coach??" in that picture... xD

leeroy jenkins: i just got this thing...my hands were shaking and my team was dead but i did it.

duhL337ed: Hilarious dude...hilarious. I actually won the gnome first try and didn't know what to do with it. Carried it to the first safe hous and gave up on him. Now I know

bob waz here: Nice and thx

James H: Me and a friend just had the unthinkable happen we succeeded never died once never had to start over once and at the last minute we lost the gnome while we were in the chopper and we succeeded but without the gnome...........sob*

Mason: seems like the gnome will soon replace the beloved companion cube

Mr Bubbles: I just want to make a Companion Cube/ Gnome crossover now.

spambot: I don't like the companion gnome.

Ashley: I did this same achievement...twice. During the final scene, I accidentally dropped the stupid gnome out of the chopper, and had to start all over from the beginning. Gnome Chompski can go rot in hell, but my avatar has a cool Depeche Mode shirt now...so I guess it works.

moom241: I played through with this achievement with my brother and two bots. It was hard, but I made it. My brother would be the bodyguard, and i carried the gnome. I ended up beating a with to death with it. (mostly) During the finale, i left it behind the rise where the drummer usually is for safe keeping. By the end, my brother was down, one bot was dead, the other still alive. I was in the helicopter, holding the gnome when a spitter spat into the chopper. I teleported to the middle of the arena. I was like "Where's the freaking gnome!?" I help my brother up, gave him adrenaline, and we rushed for the helicopter, promising we'd get it next time. There it was. Levitating just above Ellis's head, smiling down as if saying "I waited for you! Aren't you happy?" I grabbed him, my brother hopped on, and I was freaking done with that horribly cheery face.

waaga waaga: hell yeah dude! ...Look at that gnomes bright smiling face, glistening in the light knowing that you went through hell, also knowing that thing you did with the other man a while back in gay district left you insecure. Rock on Zombie Harbingers!!!

waaga waaga: sorry about that gay thign, you wanted that secret, sooooorry. :P God, now I know that gnome wont give me those tickets to go see midnight riders together.

Nitrooo: Well i see that u went through hell to do that achievement, i don t mean to undervalue your work but that achievement wasn t very hard at all with me >_>

I did it right at the first try although i was in advantage cause i completed in offline Mode.

I put it in easy campgain and i played only with bots. I also used a few shortcuts like throw the gnome over fences so that i didn t need to carry him all the way to the end and just grab him near the safe room.

Well for all those ppl thinking this is too hard just do it on offline mode and it will be quite simple. Although bots are stupid and they take forever to help u...

Still, it is probably the most rewarding achievement I've done. And I never have to see that stupid grinning face again until Portal 2 where he'll still be grinning and making thinking with portals just that little more complicated.

Kate: oh my god. you crack me up. i was laughing so hard i was crying. we need to work together on this game sometime!

James: I understand your frustration. I recently took the gnome through the entirety of HL2:E2. It started out nice, buy by the end I wanted to pitch the little fucker. If anyone wants to, they can read "The Lawn Statue of Frustration". I'm going to link to this blog through mine if you don't mind. :) I thought this article was hilarious.

Nobody: Lol I did this achievement today just cuz I was going through on single player and figured "why not?" I almost died twelve times and somehow got to the chopper whilst running from a TANK, gnome in tow, and miraculously the bots all lived, and we escaped. It was INSANE.

Mr. ...: The first time i did this I stashed the gnome where the helicopter usually goes for me. But unfortunately the helicopter went to the opposite this time. I ran for the gnome hoping i can get to the helicopter with helps from the computers. I had fell but quickly helped up. Immediatley i looked for the gnome. The rest of the survivors were down or dead. I was fortunate to find an adrenaline shot but forced to leave without the gnome. : ' (

Oceanking: Gordons Log:
I found this odd garden gnome, he seems important so i took him with me.WOW he seems to be a great buddy considering all the antlions we fought together! Wait! He is starting to be a burden to my mission,Alyx tends to ignore him, and he doesnt like car rides. Ugghhh, he does not want to comply, he rebels against me and he just wont stay in the car! I have never been so grateful for one of kleiner's inventions, this rocket happened to have a payload weight of eight and a half pounds!
pressing a button has never been so satisfying, i launched him into another planet!

Guess what planet he landed on?
the planet of L4D, i think he was found, then they took him and finally decided to make him a carnival game prize, not too long after, there happens to be an infection and he is trapped in the carnival

Now, How did i get the acheivement?I just played dark carnival on Gib Fest with my friends and It was a breeze! I only died once when THE DAMN CHOPPER DECIDED TO GO ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF WHERE I PUT THE GODDAMN GNOME!!!!!!
I hope they dont put it in portal 2

WiriestPath: We just got this achievement tonight on Xbox 360. Surprisingly, we died a couple times, but managed to hang on to him throughout the campaign. Had to lose AI bots Ellis and Coach at the end, but we were'nt getting off the chopper to save them and lose the damn gnome....

WiriestPath: oh ya, and another good spot to put the gnome is in the box that has all the fireworks, after you've spread the fireworks out, that is. We normally hole up there and fight, its in the middle of either landing spot for the chopper.

Post 500, by Tom Francis: [...] I Played Through Left 4 Dead 2 Holding A Goddamn Gnome The only thing I know about how StumbleUpon works is that it rewires the internet so that this post [...]

Sydnayy:3: This made me laugh so much harder than what is socially acceptable. I love you for this.<3

aj: its actually much easier for the rolllercoaster part to just throw him over the fence to the middle part of the ride, then go, turn off the alarm, run back and get him.

aj: that way you dont have to worry about him falling though the car or messing up your throw or anything

Tobi: I made it through the entire campaign as the only real user, the rest were AI.
I was excited when the helicopter arrived. I had set him in a corner next to me for safe keeping. When I looked down at the gnome to snatch him up, he wasn't there.
Fuck my life.

chansie41: Maybe the gnome's the AI Director O.O

Yori: Hahahaha :>! I can tell you guys suffered through so much!
I love the faces shots though~
Lol~
I can't actually play this since I don't have the game..and If it happens to be console I don't have it either..
so, I'm quite...upset and leeching off my friends who do have the game~
It's in my wishlist though :).
When I get the game, Imma play this :D!
(So that I can feel the pain you went through xD)

Esteban Wilk: that is weird. Out of all that it has intresting information about the achievment

Alex Wilk: i got that today.got the game yesterday and i didn't know what it does.it seems wierd because the smoker took a gnome from me.and i got pissed off and fuckin murderd the smoker.

Buen_0: Awsome dude! you have way too much free time on your hands, but if I had that much, I would LOVE to do the same as you...and make AWSOME stories!

Calgary Web: I LOL'd hard at the picture with Nick looking at him. Great photo-journal there. Too much free time for those that try to get all the achievements though...

May: I got the gnome shirt but it says I can only wear it in depeche mode how do I do that

that fucking gnome: Loved the whole thing u guys made had me pmsl that gnome doing that achevment was harder than prying cake of an fat kid I hate that twat and his stupid fucking smile at one point at the end I lost him thus haveing to win him again pure fucking nightmarr

i eat food: thanks :) now im just trying not to lose him. his stupid smile in the pics.. made me wanna lose him for good!

Gabriel: LOL!!! Dude, I really laughed out LOUD while reading this and watching the pictures! You took this pictures yourself? Congrats, dude! I'm still laughing!

Joseibi: This is the funniest thing I have read! LOL I don't know how you manage, with the Tank and all.

Mister Sparkle: So on a normal L4D2 day on Xbox 360, in the dark carnival. Some friends and I Had mister chompsky in hand. We get to the second round of the stadium finale where there's not one but two tanks lying in wait for you before you board the helicopter for your freedom. Nick who is ever so kind to have gnome duty falls behind when Coach(me) and Ellis jump on le copter of freedom. We unload our weapons on some unlucky zombs and a charger and one tank.(Btw Rochelle's dead already) And Nick makes that leap of faith, with gnomeo in hand! Everything is moving at the speed of turtle, we're all so happy, "We did it" We all shout in our mic's at each other, but then...lo and behold Reality hits, HARD! Right before senior Nick jumps on ze Heli, the second tank(that we somehow forgot about) decides to Shoryuken his ass, which causes him to drop the gnome, nick flys safely to the helicopter, but without Chomsky.....We decided to throw in the towel for the day....

Another short story misadventure. Im on the coaster, Chompsters in my hands holding him ever so tightly. We're running on the roller coaster but there's a horde waiting for me. So I quickly act. I throw my pipe bomb off the roller coaster so they can follow while I lead the team and creepster to safety. But when I look down to pick him up....he was gone. I stumbled off the coaster as well, but managed to get stuck between the wooden beams. So I was safe. I spotted the gnome on the floor(guess he wanted to play hide and seek)smiling at me, taunting me. My buddies went to go turn off the coaster and try to come back for the gnome, and me...I think. Buuuut they died. So I have about 17 shots left in my shotgun and 40 flesh eating zombies coming for me, while the little asshole, is still smiling at me. I shoot most of them, conserving my ammo, I pull out my katana and slice the rest. I nab Te fumbled gnome like a pro football player and run up Te ladder, Before I could make a touch down though...a smoker is waiting for me. He tries to make out with my gnome but I make sure to instill the law of no PDA on him.(I guess if you melee the tongue enough before you're defenseless it'll let you go) I was lucky. But he's not dead yet....I stumble on some ammo. Refill and blow the smokers head in. Limping my way to the safe room with the little devil in hand...alone...but my mission isn't over yet.(Btw this happened today)