@Blue..Well though the comment is not directed towards me but I will answer the MATURITY AND COMPLEXITY PART..I never thought I will but.. I will definitely share my own story..I am the bahu of a VERY CONSERVATIVE FAMILY..A family where Bahus were supposed to adorn pallus and not even sit near proximity of MIL's ,We even did purdah from our MALE In laws...my mother's home ,Yes I was a girl who belonged to a home where Women were LIBERAL..the transformation was too much to bear..But I will tell you what the REAL meaning of SACRIFICE means...My husband stood for me ,Stood up for anything that was WRONG AND REGRESSIVE..Not only for me but SETTING AN EXAMPLE FOR ALL THOSE COMING BAHUS OF OUR FAMILY.Believe me when I say it He loves his OWN mother more than ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD-YES MORE THAN SURAJ DOES.But just because FAMILY COMES FIRST he never bowed his HEAD TO WHAT WAS WRONG!!Honestly my MIL understood ,she was reprimanded for all that was negative..THAT WAS NOT HURTING HER ...THAT WAS STANDING FOR WHAT WAS RIGHT...I wear business suits to work.We are modern in every sense of the word not only in thinking and treating women with respect but also focussing on warmth of emotions rather than burdening each other in the name of sanskaars

You won't believe but we live in different cities because I HAD DREAMS ...I HAD DREAMS which could be fulfilled in this way...We had moments of apprehensions but HE ONLY SAYS ..YOU WILL FOLLOW YOUR DREAM NO MATTER WHAT??This is what a HUSBAND STANDS FOR NOT ONLY WITH EACH OTHER BUT FOR EACH OTHER...

@Blue..Well though the comment is not directed towards me but I will answer the MATURITY AND COMPLEXITY PART..I never thought I will but.. I will definitely share my own story..I am the bahu of a VERY CONSERVATIVE FAMILY..A family where Bahus were supposed to adorn pallus and not even sit near proximity of MIL's ,We even did purdah from our MALE In laws...my mother's home ,Yes I was a girl who belonged to a home where Women were LIBERAL..the transformation was too much to bear..But I will tell you what the REAL meaning of SACRIFICE means...My husband stood for me ,Stood up for anything that was WRONG AND REGRESSIVE..Not only for me but SETTING AN EXAMPLE FOR ALL THOSE COMING BAHUS OF OUR FAMILY.Believe me when I say it He loves his OWN mother more than ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD-YES MORE THAN SURAJ DOES.But just because FAMILY COMES FIRST he never bowed his HEAD TO WHAT WAS WRONG!!Honestly my MIL understood ,she was reprimanded for all that was negative..THAT WAS NOT HURTING HER ...THAT WAS STANDING FOR WHAT WAS RIGHT...I wear business suits to work.We are modern in every sense of the word not only in thinking and treating women with respect but also focussing on warmth of emotions rather than burdening each other in the name of sanskaars

You won't believe but we live in different cities because I HAD DREAMS ...I HAD DREAMS which could be fulfilled in this way...We had moments of apprehensions but HE ONLY SAYS ..YOU WILL FOLLOW YOUR DREAM NO MATTER WHAT??This is what a HUSBAND STANDS FOR NOT ONLY WITH EACH OTHER BUT FOR EACH OTHER...

Thanks for sharing your story with us! Wow u r indeed a real life sandhya!

Dabh is also very similar to ur story! N suraj is also trying to stand up for his wife in his own way! It's his personality, he is this shy, innocent kind of guy, n is doing his best.

N its a daily soap! They exaggerate n drag!

N to be honest, we dabh fans also get frustrated with the way the cvs have changed the chr of sandy, n have made suraj too obedient n babho too, too, too, much!

One good thing is we get to use all the emoticons on the side from love, to frustration, to anger, to puzzle,...which no other show offers!

Welcome to dabh family! U have become one of us now! U have even shared ur life story which u have never done before!!!

manzilmukulIF-Sizzlerz

@ PT thanks for the warm WELCOME but No not at ALL I am NOT SIMILAR TO SANDHYA...I have a FOOT IN MY MOUTH DISEASE.I never CAN STAND ANYTHING WHICH IS WRONG.I will NOT BEAR ANY TORTURE PATIENTLY .I started my life with my Dreams and LUCKILY I never had any HASSLES of studies BEcause My parenst were very LIBERAL AND MODERN...I did not FOLD HANDS and beg for Forgiveness..I never gave in to any kind of PressureThen That's me because for me the quest for righteousness is far more important than so called Sacrifice

.kat.Goldie

@ PT thanks for the warm WELCOME but No not at ALL I am NOT SIMILAR TO SANDHYA...I have a FOOT IN MY MOUTH DISEASE.I never CAN STAND ANYTHING WHICH IS WRONG.I will NOT BEAR ANY TORTURE PATIENTLY .I started my life with my Dreams and LUCKILY I never had any HASSLES of studies BEcause My parenst were very LIBERAL AND MODERN...I did not FOLD HANDS and beg for Forgiveness..I never gave in to any kind of PressureThen That's me

Good for u M! Good to know such strong people.

Then M, we, i mean, u n me share one thing!

Foot in the mouth disease!

I say things that come to my mind, be it serious or not so serious, half the time not so seriously I say serious things, or seriously I say not so seriously things!!!!

Watching dabh from the beginning kind of helps to understand the show and the characters better!

Again nice to have all of u here to share in the fun and the puzzle of dabh!

Welcome to dabh and hope to see more such thought provoking n nice posts n participation in other threads also.

I share the same sentiments as you in every matters. In my past posts I've said plenty of times that CVs have messed up with the concept of supportive husband and made a mockery of the beautiful/inspirational storyline and I'm still stick to my standpoint. Another thing I'd like to add on the concept of supportive husband from my few months of marriage life experience : He'll always encourages you to live the life of values you believe in. Never force/push you to do something you're uncomfortable with.

I'm still trying to figure out why CVs are making such a big deal of SoorYa's separation? They portrayed their love so divine and pure like the days of "SatyaYug" -- then physical presence/distance is just a mere. They can feel each-other presence no matter where they live. Isn't it?.

UMDUIF-Dazzler

Excellent post. My take on it. I personally believe that when the CVs conceived the idea of DABH they were clueless as to what they were getting into. They had no idea IPS implied life long separation from the spouse if the spouse was not from the services. As the serial grew popular topping the charts week after week one thing became clear Bhabo had to always remain around some where to ensure they remained on the top. This led to a series of inconsistencies in the story which my rational mind found it very difficult to explain or understand. A girl who aspires to be in the services is clueless as to the separation angle. If she knew would she not have discussed the implications with her husband. Inform him before hand what he is getting into. Suraj partly out of gratitude for having got him WTC trophy and partly due to his love for his wife decides to encourage his intelligent wife to appear for the civil services without once thinking about what he is getting into. Strange indeed. Even if we reluctantly go ahead and accept this argument his support is shown to be halfhearted as he most of the times finds it very difficult to stand up against his dominating mother. Now that they have made Sandhya an IPS they just do not want to let go of Bhabo as they are afraid of going down the TRPS chart. They hold on to Bhabo by introducing another unrealistic challenge. That they believe will help them to remain on the top as it gives an impression to the traditional viewer that Bhabo is still around and has the final say. As far as Sandhya is concerned as of now I don't find any qualities in her to be an efficient police officer. A person who cannot stand up for her rights can hardly be expected to fight for others. Joining an all India service and than aspiring to be posted in Pushkar because her MIL cannot bear to be parted from her is the first instance of lack of commitment to service rules.

Coming to your question on why can't men sacrifice why is it always the woman...well that is the way the major section of the world has been for centuries. An over night change is not possible. Things are changing but it will take time. It has always been the woman who sacrifices her career. Very rarely do you find men doing it. Leave aside Bhabo I will give you an interesting example of Himanshu Roy, an IPS officer, Jt commissioner of police Mumbai. His wife Bhavana who was in the IAS quit her job to be with her husband. She could not bear the separation. Even though IAS is allotted to candidates with a higher rank than IPS it was she who quit not her husband. Both are highly educated...even than it is the traditional thought that prevailed. Nobody put pressure on Bhavana to quit, it was purely her decision but one cannot ignore the fact that it is the wife who gave up her career.

I think I have justified the award given to me. I have indeed given you the longest reply.

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