Where I’ve Been + What’s Been Up

I guess it’s been awhile, huh? A lot’s happened to me in the past few months, so please bear with me (and a little content warning for grief/depression, as well as a gif warning for anyone sensitive to gifs).

Y’know, reading over my last post is painful, now – I really had no idea what was in store for me the month after that was written. So here’s what happened:

My father died the day after my birthday.

He was in the CCU for days before that. I used everything in my spiritual arsenal to handle the situation: spells, rituals, chants, yoga, smudging, drumming, plain ole prayer – and it was so intense on every level. I just completely burnt out pretty much as soon as the funeral ended. It was the longest ten day stretch of my life, and I know I am still carrying trauma from it.

Then there was the time after: I stopped practicing witchcraft. I became raw and sad and nihilistic as time went on. I didn’t care about anything. Everything felt meaningless. I felt out of step with myself and everything else.

Here’s the next part, and please stay with me, because I promise, this isn’t me proselytizing: I started receiving signs from Jesus.

Curious, I found a wonderful, progressive (anti-capitalist, LGBTQ inclusive, anti-racist) church in my area. I started reading up on Christian anarchism. It hadn’t occurred to me that there were followers not only organizing without the oppressive stuff, but actively fighting oppression. Sounded good to me!

But still, I missed witchcraft. Even when I reorganized my altar, I couldn’t take down my pentacle wreath – I still believed in the tenets of the five elements, damn it! – and I kept my crystals and gems and tarot cards and everything.

So, what the heck was going on? Your guess is as good as mine, friend.

Which, I guess, brings me to now. And I honestly still don’t know! I guess that at the very least I’m not a Wiccan anymore, but I’m also not necessarily a ChristoPagan (though I still have a lot of research to do on the dimensions of ChristoPaganism – feel free to let me know if you are so I can read up or if you’d like to chat about it!)

My witchcraft and Christianity feel very separate. But they also both feel right to me.
I’m still figuring it out, but I can say that I feel like my witchcraft is moving in a more secular direction than before.

What does that mean for this blog?

Well, I want to keep The Butterfly Witch going! I miss it! And I want to get back to my witchy ways, because I’ve been back at it for the past week now and I have to say: it feels right. Witchcraft feels like a connection to my sense of personal power and nature/the cosmos all at once.

I will say for sure that this will not become a Christian blog! I realize that a lot of people come to witchcraft/Wicca/Paganism from restrictive Christian backgrounds, and I wouldneverwant to alienate anyone who follows this blog for its witchy content.

It’s also going to lean a lot more into secular witchcraft and Tarotand not Wicca itself, which isn’t a dig on Wicca – it has a lot of wisdom and beauty, I just don’t feel like it’s quite my witchcraft path anymore. Though I still plan on following the Wheel of the Year, too (again, in a more secular way). And I still look forward to reading all the lovely insight from the Wiccan blogs I follow!

Anyway, it would be so nice if you wanted to continue to join me! And hey, no hard feelings if you don’t.

Spiritual paths are rarely linear, but that’s all part of the adventure, right?

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One thought on “Where I’ve Been + What’s Been Up”

I am Christo-Pagan, and would be happy to chat any time, if you feel like it!

Sincerely, Stella

Stella Isis Noel Rothe *’je voie la vie en rose’*

On Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 10:12 AM The Butterfly Witch wrote:

> The Butterfly Witch posted: “Hey there, Wonderfully Witchy people! I guess > it’s been awhile, huh? A lot’s happened to me in the past few months, so > please bear with me (and a little content warning for grief/depression, as > well as a gif warning for anyone sensitive to gifs). Y’know” >