Ask Sam letter

To Sam24 March 2014

Sexting

Dear sam recently my boyfriend asked to see my penis on kik or else he'd kill himself so i did it to save his life. After that i flipped after i sent it he deleted it.am i going to jail please help me we are under the age of 18, i need help respond fast!!!please there is no one i can talk to about this

Sam24 March 2014

Hi there,

Thank you for your email. I can hear how worried you're feeling at the moment so it's really positive that you are asking for some support and advice.

I can hear you regret sending the picture and are worried the police will get involved. Sometimes in stressful situations or if people are being pressured, they can do things they wouldn't usually do. It's illegal to take, have, or share any sexual images of anyone under 18 (even if the image is of yourself) but you are very unlikely to be sent to jail for sending the image. The law is there to protect young people, not to punish them.

You could check out our Sexting page for more advice. You could also download the ChildLine Zipit app so if this ever happens again you can send a different image while you think about what you want to do.

It might also be worth looking at ThinkuKnow for more information on what can go wrong when sending sexual pictures and how to stay safe.

It sounds like you really care for your boyfriend and you did not want anything bad to happen to him. I can also hear it was a really scary time for you and you were ready to do anything to help him stay safe.

However, it was wrong of your boyfriend to threaten to kill himself to get you to send a picture to him. It was unfair of him to put you in that situation and to leave you feeling responsible for his safety. Keeping your boyfriend safe is not your responsibility, he has a responsibility to keep himself safe.

I would like you to know that the emergency services are there to keep people safe so if you ever felt anyone was in danger you could ring 999 to get them immediate help.

Many young people often ask me questions about sex and relationships  wanting to know whether they should do sexual things with their partner. When people are dating it is not unusual for them to sometimes decide they want to become sexually involved. However, both people should always feel comfortable with what they decide to do. They should also feel able to say 'no' at any time - that is their right. If your boyfriend is saying things that make you feel unable to say 'no', it might be helpful for you to look at our page on relationship abuse - it has some really good advice on healthy relationships.

Remember that the counsellors at ChildLine are here to help you at any time - you can contact them free on 0800 1111, by sending an email or having a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,Sam

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