Based in beautiful Oakland, CAlifornia

I retrieved the sheet from the floor and wrapped it around my waist. It was cold in my apartment. I could almost taste the New York winter on my tongue. I sighed and saw my breath dissipate in the air. January is a hell of a month for the heat to go out.

Twitter, Uber, Square, and others were bringing in jobs and, thus, bringing in money. They knew this. The city knew this. And, as a result, they held San Francisco hostage. So, in 2011, San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors and Mayor Ed Lee made a controversial decision: They invoked a 1.5% payroll tax exemption for any company with a payroll greater than $1 million that moved into San Francisco’s dilapidated SoMa district. This tax exemption would come to be known as The Twitter Tax.

From the moment Mr. Trump announced his candidacy back in 2015, up until the day of the election, many of us Millennials were complacent. Our numbers were particularly stagnant when it came to voter turnout. We quit going to rallies. We didn’t caucus, we didn’t fundraise, we didn’t door-knock. In short, we were lazy. But perhaps our biggest—and most glaring—error was that we absolutely couldn’t fathom the fact that an orange-haired sex predator with a penchant for alternative facts and bigotry could be elected to the nation’s highest office.

Make no mistake about it: this unequal distribution is responsible for the systematic execution of lower classes in America, with a heavy burden falling on minorities. How do we fix it? We can take several measures. We can reinstate Glass-Stiegel, repeal Citizens United, increase the capital gains tax, reduce income tax for impoverished families, restrict off-shore accounts, forgive student loan debt, keep the ACA, audit the federal reserve, audit the SEC, audit the banks. And please, if nothing else, listen more often to Bernie Sanders. I know it sounds like he’s perpetually shouting from the other side of a ballroom, but he knows how to fix the system, and it’s time we take control of our financial futures, and listen.

But first, let’s recap this week in politics, more specifically the excruciating evolution of Donald Trump’s cabinet.

Three of Mr. Trump’s controversial nominees, including Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, and Secretary of Treasury Steve Mnuchin, were all confirmed by the Senate this past week. Sessions, whose past has been marred by insensitivities toward pretty much anyone who wasn’t white, and whose 1986 judicial nomination for the U.S. District Court was blocked because of civil rights concerns, was confirmed for Attorney General with a vote of 52-47. So, a man deemed to be too racist to judge back in 1986, is now the Attorney General of the United States.

Donald Trump is the greatest magician who’s ever lived. His sleight of hand and misdirection is rivaled by no one. He loves letting the American people know they should be afraid of x,y, and z. In this instance, let’s consider x, y, and z to be Hillary Clinton’s emails, the biased media, and voter fraud. And while the American people—most notably the Democrats and other liberals—are busy in-fighting about his hypocrisy or illogic, Mr. Trump sets off on a blistering course of executive orders. These executive orders do far more than advance his, frankly, bizarre agenda, they pose a legitimate threat to our Constitution and our national security.

The insanity leeching out of Mr. Trump during his campaign is now gushing out of him like a spastic fire hydrant. It’s true, Mr. Trump promised to build a wall along the Mexican/American border to “stop drugs from pouring in,” and keep out drug dealers, rapists, and criminals. It’s also true, Mr. Trump promised Americans that Mexico would pay for said wall. What wasn’t clear was how exactly Mexico was going to fund such a project. Rest assured, though, our Commander in Chief has a solution. In an executive order signed on Wednesday, Mr. Trump ordered the immediate construction of a wall using funds already available in the United States budget. And, while these funds are, in fact, designated for the sole purpose of border protection, they only represent a fraction of what it will cost to construct a 15-foot, 1,000-mile wall.

I promised you a president who is not isolated from the people, who feels your pain, and who shares your dreams and who draws his strength and his wisdom from you.

During the past three years I've spoken to you on many occasions about national concerns, the energy crisis, reorganizing the government, our nation's economy, and issues of war and especially peace. But over those years the subjects of the speeches, the talks, and the press conferences have become increasingly narrow, focused more and more on what the isolated world of Washington thinks is important.

What’s up? ‘Merica here. I hear you’ve been bothering our fearless leader, Donald J. Trump. Knock that (per Facebook Terms and Conditions insert curse word here) off. He’s a good guy. A good guy whose gonna kick some ass. You know what we like about him? He’s real. He’s as real as they come. I’ve never seen a guy tell it like it is the way he does. He’s so raw it gets my wood rattling—if you know what I mean. He stuck it to Crooked Hillary, he stuck it to the liberal media, and now he’s gonna stick it to you.

Fighter of the establishment. Truth teller. Chaos creator. Informant! Follow me on Twitter at the aptly named profile: @PecorinoAndEggs. Obviously, these are completely works of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of my twisted imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is (sometimes) purely coincidental.