Do-it-yourself cat costume

I wanted to buy costumes for the cats but they were really expensive so instead I decided to just make some because I am very crafty. I wanted to glue six googley eyes to the cat so he could be a spider, but then Victor said that most spiders also have eight legs and I pointed out that (obviously) this would be a spider who’d been involved in an accident with a shoe, and then Victor hid the hot glue gun, so I had to come up with something else. I decided to make a cat costume for the cat because it was kind of “ironic” and Victor said that it was “stupid” and I pointed out that those two things are not mutually exclusive. I eventually decided to go with a tiger, because technically when people dress up for Halloween they usually dress as creepier hominids like vampires and zombies so technically cats would probably choose to dress as creepier felines. This all makes perfect sense and I wish you’d stop questioning me, Victor.

How to make a cat costume for the cat:

1. Take one stuffed animal:

I went for a cat that looks suspiciously like Hobbes. (The tiger, not the philosopher.)

2. Rip his face off. Don’t do this in front of small children, as it will scar them for life (but will also probably get them to clean their room the first time you ask.)

Cats are WAY more fun in costume. Although, I really think you should have given it a dog (or wolf) costume, because that is way scarier to a cat than a tiger is.
I wonder how the cats feel when they see themselves in the mirror, in costume?

Ah, genius! I tried cat costumes last year- unfortunately it was an unmitigated failure, because no neighborhood children showed up to trick or treat, hence, there was no one to laugh at my poor kitty victims.
At least I got a few silly pics out of it.

I am STILL amazed! If I tried this with any of our cats, I’d need more bandages than I’d have places to put them! Ginzu knives with fur…Now the rooster, on the other hand, is maskerading as a human. *grin*

Admitted cat-stealer as well. How could I not? The poor thing was named “Donkey.” I mean, come on. Who names their kitten Donkey? Yes, a kitten. They got a puppy shortly after the kitten. The puppy was getting all the attention. The mom chased the kids into the house with a broom. And did I mention they named him Donkey? A friend of those kids saw the newly-named Marley on my balcony and called up, “Hey, that’s our friends’ cat.” I, shamefully, retorted, “Not anymore!”

FREAKING AWESOME!!! And the idea of children cleaning their rooms out of sheer terror that we, the Moms, will disembowel the stuffed animals one by one if it is NOT really clean…TOTAL ADDED BONUS!!! Let’s all go do some shots of vodka (Mommie’s water) to celebrate.

Now I know what I’m doing for my cat’s Halloween costume, so thanks. Now I just need an oversize stuffed cat for my pit bull’s costume…
And no, I have no qualms about poaching your idea. That’s what the internet is for – to steal everyone’s great ideas.

I tend to dress as a different version of myself- one that my present company doesn’t know as well. Last year I was a cowgirl, complete with chaps. This year, I’m going to be a hunter and just wear my hunting clothes. It’s cheap and easy. Unlike me.

One time I put a pink Barbie furry stole around my semi-feral cat’s neck it was hilariously cute until he got REALLY pissed off about it. So there was this furious tabby cat seething behind a couch with a fabulous pink stole on. It was great.

I dressed my Standard Poodle as a squirrel, but we have a taxidermied squirrel in the house, so he was understandably jumpy all night long. Stopped his tampon-eating habit though, so it’s in the win column.

Thank you for that I was just about to go to bed here in the UK but ended up laughing so much I am now not tired, just as well the clocks go back tonight so I won’t really miss out on my sleep and anyway as a report out today says that as we may feel the benefit of the extra hour in bed on the first day by the end of the first week of winter time it will so have disrupted your sleep pattern anyway we won’t recover until the spring so in reality you have done me a favour. How clever are you …….

Also – look at my link. I find it amusing that I blogged about the LPTNH book trailer this morning only to witness via Twitter you stalking @wilw at the Con this afternoon. Then I came home to find my Wil Wheaton plushie in the mail. It’s been a Jenny and Wil filled day – except for the part where my husband broke 2 toes on his computer but that’s a whole ‘nother thing…

I forgot to say that I thought you were going to cut down the tummy and destuff it so that it would be a cat cape. That way the legs and and arms would hang down. Especially useful if you revisit the spider idea.

I love your blog, and I love you and your family like mad. You guys are awesome. Which is why I’m disappointed you are accepting advertising from frauds and con artists. That Hyland’s Homeopathy company isn’t even a little shy about being shady. In the “drug facts” on their “infant cough syrup” they cite: ““HPUS” indicates that the active ingredients are in the official Homeopathic Pharmacopoeia of the United States.” as their source for how to determine the “dose” of each “active ingredient”, which is purposely supposed to make it sound as official as the United States Pharmacopeia, who set the dosage recommendations etc. for actual FDA approved drugs, and who are actually answerable to the FDA. They’re selling magic water–for babies–and using blatantly fraudulent marketing gimmicks, and you’re advertising for them. It won’t keep me from reading the blog or anything, I just wanted you to know who you’re accepting money from. I guess you might be aware, but I’m not sure that’s not worse.

(Fair enough. I’ve no idea if their stuff works or not but I know they’re having a cute costume contest. Hard to argue with that one. ~ Jenny)

Holy shitsnacks, that made me howl (or MEOW) with laughter! My mission is now to mutiliate one of my kids’ old stuffed animals and create the perfect cat halloween costume. Thank you for being so very crafty.

Jenny – I’m new to following you, and so far I haven’t been disappointed. I loved your audio book, because seriously, it’s 100 times better in your voice than the voice in my head, and I even find myself leaving post it notes to my boyfriend who doesn’t think they are nearly as funny as I do. I don’t consider myself a groupie, and generally frown on people who think you care to read their comments. But I had to comment on this because THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN!!! THANK YOU!!!

I’ve been feeling crappy today, and “Step 2: Rip his face off” is the only thing that made me laugh all day. I totally should have done that with a stuffed Elmo instead of making Precocious Daughter a hipster Elmo costume from scratch…it would have been easier and enormously satisfying.

Don’t know if you’ve seen it, but thought this link to “How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You” might come in handy. I think Ferris Mewler might be a little pissed off he’s a pumpkin instead of something cool like a sabre tooth tiger.

You are totally crazy .. “in a good way”. I love the way your mind works. Completely off the subject, but something I would like to share with everyone because I am a vegetarian and other vegetarians and vegans should know this. This is the honest-to-god truth. Vanilla is made from the crushed anal glands of beavers. Look it up. Don’t you wish you had some nice vanilla ice cream right now. I don’t think I have to explain what anal glands are but we all have them.

One year we were trying to decide between angel and devil for the Basset hound. Husband said you have to *dress up* for Halloween, so she got the angel. Other dog (dressed as clown), ate the halo. True story.

Two other folks said this but it’s important enough that I will echo it – while you, Jenny, are both fabulously awesome and awesomely fabulous, please, please do not use those power for evil, which is to say, by promoting homeopathy in even the most slight way, cute animal costume or no. Homeopathy is a sad profession based on hopeful thinking and not at all on science, and it preys on the sick, needy, and uneducated.

The others offered useful links, I will point out one more to strike at the heart of you, Jenn – if you Google Tim Minchin and Homeopathy you will get his blog post:

As the Worst Hockey Ref Ever I find some costumes unauthentic and kind of embarrassing. Glad you worked this out though. Here’s what I hate seeing. Glad you didn’t go this route with a striped cat. http://worstrefeverstuff.blogspot.com/2012/10/not-really-costume.html
The munchkin is a cat this year, our blind one and I’m cat food. That post and pics are to come later.

I just referenced you yesterday over at my place (with a link, it’s the polite thing to do), because I included a picture of a dressed up dog.
(My daughter works in a grooming salon, they can do those things to strangers.)

Great costumes, even if I don’t care for non-dogs. They are YOUR non-dogs, so they get a pass.

(This is the witchy Julie, just to be clear. I know, I haven’t commented in a while, but I’ve been keeping up. Pretty much. See? I’m all current!)

So…ripping the face off a stuffed toy scars small children, but it’s perfectly fine for them to see their friend the household kitty cat (or one of them at least) wearing the mutilated corpse of said stuffed animal, and looking fabulous at the same time?
Good to know.
I feel sorry for Ferris, he must be so jealous of HST.

This reminds me of a story my mother-in-law told me about her sons. When my husband was a toddler he spent a lot of time in the hospital. He had a tracheostomy, a feeding tube and IV’s. To make him feel more normal she decided to make him a doll that had all the same things. So she’s in the kitchen stabbing the doll in the throat (for dolly’s new tracheostomy) when my husband’s then 5 year old brother walks in. Scarred for life. I need to get her to send me a picture. That doll is creepy as shit. You would love it.

At first I thought you were going to be cutting up Hobbes to make a sort of Hobbes jacket for Hunter. Kinda like Silence of the Lambs when he makes that women suit. Except reenacted by cats. You know what? That sounds like the best idea ever. Somebody should get on that.

You should be extremely careful. Most cats are vengeful. They will get you back. When they go out at night, you think they’re prowling. They are not prowling. The younger ones are attending Tae Kwon DO classes. Read their eyes. The animal depicted in your first picture does look stuffed but look at his eyes in the second photo. I can hear him saying, “My God, half my damned face is gone! What has she done to me? I can’t see my nose!” In the third picture, the cat’s eyes are dark, foreboding and reflecting a false illusion of permissiveness. By the fourth picture, you have made a cat-scarf out of the costume and you say “He’s fine with the costume…..It’s what I do. The cat’s eyes do not say he’s fine with the costume, his eyes say, “Wait until you go to sleep, darling, then I’ll show you what the hell it is that I do!” In the last photo Ferris Mewler’s eyes are easy to read. Ferris is simply saying, “Pay back is hell, Mama!”

Oh wow… I came on here to say how great this was and how perfectly the bouncing cats reflect my kitten’s activity when she is not sleeping. And then I started reading comments. Vanilla from anal glands, homeopathy is quackery, blah blah blah.

Two things: 1) Don’t eat processed foods, or buy only vanilla stuff made with vanilla beans. (It is a bean in real life.)
2) I don’t know about Hyland in particular, but people who are all superior about how homeopathy is BS need to do some real research and stop believing the internets. As Tesla said, “The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.” In other words, no medical expert will claim to fully understand how and why the human body works the way it does, or why homeopathy, in fact, does work.

Loving the cat bounce – just how long can I watch it ? At twenty minutes they are pretty much in a pile . . . am I going to have to find another way to spend my evening? Nah, I’ll just start them again and again and again : )

Oh.My.God you are actually so flippin funny. Like, can I be your best friend? or your cats friend? fjsduifsdn i’m so pumped I discovered you! if you are ever bored (ima kidding myself) check out my blog http://www.brigquest.com! yo da bomb!

Do you have those Build a bear shops in America? It is interesting to note that the clothes designed for the teddy bears in those places are just the right size for a cat. I discovered this a couple of years ago and may or may not have dressed my cat up in a high school musical jacket and sun glassess… *walks away whistling*

Sadly my levels of craftiness, when it comes to fabric, is limited to what hot glue and staples can accomplish. If not for this, my Yoda cat would have a Yoda costume, and it would be EPIC. See, my yoda cat is a sphynx, and naked as naked can be. Between that and the huge ears and all the wrinkles, he’s about as close to a pet alien as one can get.

This is at least the third time that your adorable child is wearing something that my adorable child also owns. Yay Target shoppers!
My adorable child also loves putting the cat in costumes, so I guess taxidermy is next?

omgomgomgomgomg! You have either just validated or completely annihilated my Hobbes theory; either way, I’m ok with it because my Tiger is on your blog! (Faceless and stretched over a cat, but beggars can’t be choosers). The first time I saw that Tiger I desperately wanted one. I tried to find pics of it online to post on Facebook… and they don’t exist. Nowhere. Not on the Target website, not on Amazon, not on Google images, not on a Circo website… nowhere. And no-one I know had any idea what I was talking about because they apparently don’t shop for stuffed animals because they’re well-adjusted adults or something. So I started thinking… maybe only *I* can see him. Maybe it really IS Hobbes and he only shows up at the store I’m at, just waiting for me to buy him! (And a part of my brain died a little that I would think, and then admit to others, that amazingly childish thought. And another part of my brain thought I was awesome and fairy-tale special. Another part of my brain wanted a drink, but that’s slightly unrelated.) And then I showed it to my husband when we were out together and he bought it the next day for my birthday and now I have Hobbes! And we haven’t seen a single other one at any Target since (we’ve checked three to get one for a friend’s baby). So the question is, are you and I specially selected by Hobbes to be his best friend, and if so, do we assume he knew he’d be part cat once you received him? And more importantly, do we start a club or keep our awesomeness a secret… in the comments on your blog…

Brilliant. Ferris Mewler’s ear posture is priceless. And thanks for the heads-up on the costume contest. I may have to send in a photo of my two-year-old’s creation for our neighbor’s Halloween party. He decided to accent his Darth Maul make-up with a Winne the Pooh costume. Not quite what we planned, but it turned out to be a show-stopper. There’s a picture on my blog …

I dropped off more stuff at the local humane society this weekend, and visited the polydactyl cat. I though he just had an extra toe… turns out he has a completely EXTRA PAW on each foot. It’s turned in, so you don’t realize it’s an extra paw until you unfurl it. Some completely unimaginative humane society volunteer named him Pawley. If he were my cat (which wouldn’t happen [probably] because I’m allergic), I would name him Hemingway. Then I would also adopt the cat I met a few weeks ago by the name of Fitzgerald. Then I’d be surrounded by great writers (my dog is already Winston Churchill).

I think one of my favourite parts of your blog is reading your comments to people’s comments & the fact that Cory Feldman regularly posts comments. I often just scroll through the comments to see if you have replied to any.

Your cat looks like he just murdered Tigger and is now wearing the mutilated corpse as a tuxedo-and-neckwarmer-combo. Kind of like a feline version of that serial murderer character in Con Air? To your credit, the effect is pretty creepy. (Although you should probably resolve to keep him away from planes and/or Nick Cage in the future if at all possible.)

I thought I’d share our version of your Hunter S. Tomcat. This is Woodstock the cat…also known as Jerkstock when he’s anywhere near butter, our two older cats, or when he’s just tired of being pet like he’s actually just a cat. So, for your viewing pleasure, Woodstock (Woody) Levon Timmy Mike Bang-Bang.

Erg. I can’t copy and paste a picture…if you know how I can send you a pic I know you were totally appreciate, let me know how to do that….

By the way, I look forward to your blog every day. You help me through many a day. Can’t wait for your next book. : )

I love it!! Because I bought little pet costumes for my cats at Target this year, and took test photos of them so I would know how they will show up when we take our ACTUAL holiday photos. Brian said the torture must stop. I said call the photographer.

All in the Family: Courtney LeBlanc's poetry chapbook is an honest and raw look into the dynamics of family relationships, the good, the bad, and the oh-so ugly; it'll make you cringe, cry, laugh, smile, and appreciate the relationships you have with your family.