BACKSTAGE: Statler & Waldorf try to escape through the backstage exit, but are forced to hide in a trunk.

PIGS IN SPACE: In need of a new side thruster, the Swinetrek is headed for a rendezvous with the Space Laboratory. After a shaky docking – which Link spends cowering under the control panel – two request permission to board the Swinetrek. Link grants permission and the Stage Right door opens to the music cue of… Muppet Labs! Bunsen and Beaker enter, the latter carrying a small rocket.

Bunsen: “Welcome to the MuppeTech National Space Lab, where the future is being made today!”

Bunsen: “Oh, Beakie-poo, you promised! Now, go put on your helmet and Dr. Strangepork and I will get you all hooked up for space walking. Dr. Strangepork, would you un-dock us from the laboratory so we can access the thruster terminal?”

(Their conversation fades as they exit the shot.)

Piggy: “Is this just another lame excuse for a cameo by our more peripheral characters?”

Link: “What’s wrong with that? How is it going over there?”

(Beaker is suited up and halfway out the window with the thruster and tools.)

Bunsen: “All ready!”

Beaker: “Mee mee mee.”

(Beaker ducks out.)

Piggy: “Are you sure he knows what he’s doing?”

Bunsen: “Naturally. MuppeTech National Space Labs sends only the finest and most qualified technicians to –“

(Beaker floats back and forth past the window, meeping and flailing, clearly out of control.)

Bunsen: “Oh, Beaker, quit fooling around and get the side thruster into place!”

(A heavy clanking sound is heard.)

Bunsen: “Oh. That’s more like it.”

Link: “Yeah!”

(All of a sudden, the thruster fires up and the ship tilts to starboard, knocking Piggy into the Stage Right wall and Link, Strangepork and Bunsen into Piggy.)

Link: “Lucky we landed on something soft and well-padded!”

(The men chuckle.)

Piggy: “Oh, yeah? Well, land on THIS! Hi-yah!”

(She grabs onto the wall and stomps the ground, turning the ship upside-down & dropping the men onto the ceiling. Beaker spins out of control in the background through the window.)

Piggy: “Hi-yah!”

(She stomps the ground again and the men drop back onto the floor once the ship is right side up again. Beaker spins out of control in the background through the window.)

Piggy: “Hi-yah!”

(She grabs and chops the wall, throwing the ship into a lateral 360-degree spin.)

Announcer: “Tune in again next time for a disorienting episode of… PIGS IN SPAAAAAACE!”

SONG: "Song Sung Blue"- Neil with the Electric Mayhem

(Bo enters S & W's box.)

Bo: "Excuse me! Mr. Kermit sent me up to see if you two were feeling all right."

(He taps them and they do not move.)

Bo: “Oh, no.”

(He puts his hands on their foreheads and they're cold.)

Bo: "Oh, no!"

(He grabs them both and rushes backstage.)

BACKSTAGE: Kermit speaks into the intercom.

Kermit: “Vet’s Hospital on in two minutes!”

(Rowlf enters.)

Rowlf: “Kermit, we have a serious problem. We don’t have a patient for this sketch.”

Bo (offstage): “Oh, help!”

Kermit: “What’s that?”

(Beauregard rushes in with the S & W dolls.)

Bo: "This is a medical emergency! Mr. Statler & Mr. Waldorf are cold and not moving at all!"

Kermit: “There, you see? Things tend to work themselves out.”

(Kermit exits. Rowlf takes Bo aside and points him in the direction of the stage.)

UK SPOT: “Siegfried” – on a mountain set, rats perform excerpts from Wagner’s opera, with a cat standing in for the dragon Fafner

BEAR ON PATROL: Fozzie arrests a gruff hunter (the one from Muppet Sports in the Elke Sommer episode) for deer hunting out of season. Link asks for his deer hunting license, which is 3 days expired. As Fozzie pushes to lock the guy up and “throw the book at him”, Link bids him pause while he looks up what the punishment is.

Fozzie: “Sergeant, I recommend the maximum penalty!”

Hunter (leans over Fozzie, intimidating): “Oh, yeah?”

(Fozzie cowers down, gulps): “Um, yeah!”

Hunter: “Oh, YEAH?”

Fozzie (growing in confidence): “Yeah!”

(Fozzie and the Hunter are nose to nose.)

Hunter: “Oh, YEAH?!”

Fozzie: “YEAH!”

Link: “Patrol Bear?”

Fozzie: “Yeah? I mean, yes, sir?”

Link: “Uh, I think this has gotten a bit out of hand. The penalty for hunting out of season here is a $50 fine.”

Fozzie: “It’s WHAT?!”

Hunter: “Oh, yeah! Well, here’s $50!”

(Hunter hands it to Link.)

Link: “Thank you, very much. You are free to go, sir.”

Hunter: “Thank YOU! Yeah, as soon as you said it wasn’t deer huntin’ season no more, I ‘membered what season it really is!”

Funny thing about this outline, I had it almost finished except for ideas for PIS and BOP. Came up with ideas yesterday while vacuuming, wrote down as much as I could remember, and they turned out to be the most fleshed-out parts of the thing.

Good episode. Interesting to know that the Muppets do care for Statler and Waldorf despite their heckling. I liked Sweetums' appearance too. That could be thought of as a tribute to the late John Henson.