Americans living in Cape Town and an almost equal number of South African journalists gathered at the Bishopscourt home of the US Consul General early this morning to watch the election results roll in. Just after 6am a huge roar could be heard in the suburb as the unabashedly partisan crowd cheered Barack Obama’s leap over the final hurdle to the 270 electoral college votes needed to win the presidency. (His current projected total of electoral college votes is 349, to John McCain’s projected 144.)

South Africans can relate: it’s like it’s 1994 in the USA.

I grabbed a few clips of Obama’s victory speech in Grant Park, Chicago, from the BBC’s coverage:Videos: Clips from Barack Obama’s victory speech

Sorry your guy didn't win, Ben, but everyone's taking it well. I know you didn't organise them, but well done for the efficiency of your elections.

I heard someone saying on the radio this morning, "But is it just a victory for hope?" Just???? If we can have people in high positions convincingly backing things other than cynicism and self-interest that is something very rare.

Okay, true confessions time ... the photos from Kenya, around the world and across America had me wiping away tears. South Africans know better than most that dreams can go sour, but that moment when the miracle happens stays with you always (sorry Sven, old strugglistas are allowed to be sentimental now and then). I hope this means that Americans will finally confront their racial demons -- that can only be good for the rest of the world.

Sven, if one man can single-handedly do a great deal of harm (and let's face it he can - George W. Bush is solely responsible for the entire war in Iraq), then surely we can accept that one man can do a great deal of good?

Yes, there will be disappointments as we watch Obama's ideals get chewed up and spat out by the Washington machine. But let's give the guy a chance. He is soooo much better than the alternative McCain-Palin disaster. That truly would have been a sad day for us all.

I do believe in heroes. Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Seretse Khama, Winston Churchill. All good men who did mainly good things and left the world a better place. I hope Obama will swell their ranks. But let's start from the high-point of euphoria, rather than the low-point of cynicism.

What a job he has ahead of him. While Florida was electing Obama, it was also banning gay marriage on a local ballot measure. So did Arizona and California is still in the balance. Arkansas banned gay couples from adopting children.

I suppose the peaceful coexistence of truly bizarre ideas with more sensible ones shows that something's working. But still, weird...

Fiona, you're mistaking genuine concern over the fact that people are so susceptible to propaganda and so hypnotised by entrenched power structures for cynicism.

Churchill? "Perhaps the next time round the way to do it will be to kill women, children and the civilian population," said in reference to Germany post First World War. Strange that we don't get taught little snippets like that, or the firebombing of Dresden where he fulfilled his ambition.

This is the problem, there's a bewildering lack of skepticism towards power strutures is societies of mass despite at least 4,000 years of more or less consistent abuse by those in power. So what if Obama's black? By buying into the idea that this somehow makes him different you're basically buying into the most divisive notions of racism, in fact it's ultimately condescending - what defines a leader should be action rather than skin colour.

I think Health & Welfare should be put in the capable hands of Tim Richman and Grant Schreiber. It would provide them with ample material for their third book: "Is it just our department, or is the whole government kak?"

I've lived in the US for a long time, and as a citizen of both SA and US, I believe that this time Americans, some from conviction, some from fear or desperation, really voted for change. They have the best chance in decades to lose the obsession with themselves, to unpollute their lives and their image, and to unearth the soul of their nation, long buried under goods and services and greed.

Excellent! I look forward to cancelling the Soccer World Cup and making exercise compulsory. Sporting skills such as digging your own veggie gardening, drownproofing, changing a car tyre, reading maps and playing a solid forward defensive will become part of the curriculum (with Colleen's help). C.L.R James and Ramachandra Guha will become required reading. All girls will learn self-defence in schools, while boys are taught to do the weekly shop, including lugging a sack of potatoes and 5kg of maizemeal for an hour on public transport, followed by turning lentils, a bit of mince and a few carrots into a tasty supper for six.

Oh yes, Sven, just have to say: it's not that Obama is black that makes him special... it's the fact that American citizens, in a country where race is so overwhelmingly overdetermined and racism and other forms of institutionalised hatred (as Louis points out) so highly tolerated ("cos this is a free country"), voted for a man whose father was Kenyan, whose step-father was Indonesian, whose first school was Muslim, and who grew up in Hawaii (which everyone knows wouldn't really be a state if the US hadn't needed a strategic base in the Pacific 50 years ago). This is what's blowing my mind: the haters lost.

Oh no, Louis I can't do Finance, I don't like money, all I want to do with it is give it away, which is why I don't have any; Ben's government would be broke after day one. I would like to have the position of Anthologist in the new cabinet.

Give money away???? Alex is PERFECT for the job. I can just see her: decent school facilities? Clean, safe hospitals? ARVs for everyone who needs them? Higher salaries for nurses and librarians? Teashops on every corner? Here you are!! Arms dealers, however, will flee, esp after trying to bribe her -- she'll cast a curse and they'll turn into mice, and hunted by Seb, Meg, Lily, Ghengis, Hanno and Pixie (the Book SA cats).

Aargh. Cannot write a grammatical sentence (see above). I blame it on my yellow fever vaccination (so I can go to Uganda for the FEMRITE workshop), which is having very odd effects. This morning, I could not remember which side of the road to drive on.

Louis, thanks for that vote of confidence in making me Minister of Arts and Culture.

People, you do of course realise that my surname is a corruption of Hussein. Typically, the 'H' stands for a 'silent g' in Arabic, and is sometimes transliterated as 'KH' - KHussein. The story goes that on my grandfather or great-grandfather's birth documents, the 'h' was dropped by accident and thus Khozain became Kozain. So, Rustum Hussein for Arts and Culture then.

But that's exactly what ministers of finance do, Alex: they give away money. If you want, you could write an "anthology" of who you've given the money to and what it has been used for. That would make a nice change.

First thing I would do as Minister of Arts and Culture is to get together with the Esteemed Minister of Education and see how we can both lobby for far more funding for her and jack up education.

In other matters, I have to confess to a mixture of perversity and schadenfreude has the real motivations for my interest in the US elections. I couldn's stop bingeing on Sarah Palin's foibles and now, alas, it is over...

Let's console ourselves by re-juggling the Cabinet: * Sven should get Environment (I will back him in passing a 500% sin tax on 4X4s not used on gravel roads, and in bringing back caning, tarring and feathering for strip mining magnates) * Liesl for Veep* Louis can have Intelligence (he can already write in code), with Kathryn as Deputy-Minister (she's a copywriter, so she can sell SA)* Sophy to be Lauren's Deputy-Minister * Sarah gets Tourism (on the basis of her intimate knowledge of the seamier side of Paris)* Sally gets Health on the fickle basis of her interest in BLOOD

Oh dear, this is all too much for me: Helen, yes, I want to be part of the shadow goverment and I also want cricket coaching so I can play #3 batsman. Meanwhile, el presidente wants me to focus. Lord, a literary, cricketing shadow government. That sounds like a good piece of comic theatre he says in his devil's advocate voice.

In my capacity as Anthlogist, I think Exclusive Books should lead the way to replacing plastic bags -- lovely cloth book bags should become the norm nationwide. [Lauren could arrange a recycled-fabric-book-bag making project among the textile industry workers who have lost their jobs recently to workers in China]. Putting single books and single newspapers into plastic bags is utterly absurd and should be declared illegal.

The foreign office would hereby like to express its concern regarding the fact that certain members of the cabinet are casting doubt on the country's economic ties with valuable trading partners. However, as the foreign minister finds the lovely cloth bags vastly more comfortable than the plastic alternative as underwear, he is willing to second the Financial Anthologist's motion.

The Commission of Anthologies commends the bold move of Very Generous Minister of Arts & Culture, and requests a full anthology of the give-away: including vivid descriptions of citizen reactions to Mingus (these can be in any of the following forms according to each citizen’s preference: poem, flash fiction, essay, limerick, illustrated short story, cartoon or YouTube video).

Anthology on the Miseries of Finance announced. To offset the churlish first chapter on debt and depression, the Commission of Anthologies requested some word of hope from the headless Finance Ministry, which submitted by junk-mail this Investor Word of the day: Bottom-Up: “An investment strategy in which companies are considered based simply on their own merit, without regard for the sectors they are part of or the current economic conditions. A person following this strategy will be looking very closely at the company's management, history, business model, growth prospects and other company characteristics: he or she will not be considering general industry and economic trends [depression] and then extrapolating them to the specific company. Followers of this strategy believe that some companies are superior to their peer groups, and will therefore outperform regardless of industry and economic circumstances. The purpose of bottom-up investing is to identify such companies.” Since the Commission of Anthologies is broke, does not have money to invest, it does not find the headless Finance Ministry’s word of hope particularly helpful.

Minister of Arts & Culture Public Anouncement: Talks with John Cleese and other silly parties have secured British funding for the development of the Cleese-Rhodes-Buthelezi Novel Writing Commentary Academy in Kalk Bay, South Africa. With more and more international sport and culture events being hosted in South Africa, the establishment of such an academy will allow South Africa to train sufficient numbers of commentators, consonant with the growing republic of letters in South Africa. This will allow South Africans to communicate and commentate on the many novels being written by South Africans to South Africans.

In far-reaching visions for the future, commentating will eventually be available in digital source for distribution by cellphone, radio and internet. Shorter works may even be covered in print.

But the academy will have an impact beyond national borders as it is envisioned that South Africa hopes to host the International World Cup of Novelists in ten years' time. It is hoped that already having a team of well-trained commentators will aid our bid for this eminent cultural event.

Minister of Sport Public Announcement (in response to eye-glazing message from headless Finance Ministry on bottom-up investing): "Too much bottom hand!" For those to whom this means nothing, I say "bottoms up" as we drink to the great collaboration between the Ministries of Art, Culture and Sport. (Now there's something I'd like to see in real life.)

Yes Mr President. Mr President, we have actually completed some background studies on the bible school. The dean there has indicated some willingness for skills-sharing, but not in novel writing commentating. They do indicate, though, that the skills developed in bible reading and exegesis can easily be adapted to cricket commentating. So for instance does the development of a deep memory for biblical quotations and their sources (Book, chapter, verse), as well as the facility for exegesis, overlap with 1) the memory required for cricket statistics; and, 2) endless, dare I say, novelistic elaboration of such during cricket commentary. Needless to say, these skills are transferable also to novel writing commentating.

Mr. President, in the music stores that obtain in a developing country such as ours, I have not had the good fortune of coming across Miles Davis' "Get Up with It". Could we have a some lenient exceptions to our slavish following of international copyright law so that my ministry can procure copies of said album?

The Minister of Sport is sulking (what Cabinet Minister reins in their drives? Ever?), and will be shortly be embarking on a long fact-finding tour into sport and recreation, starting on the shores of Lake Victoria.

Rustum, you're in for a treat, it's Davis' trippiest album ever, I'll get some of Sven's minions working on the job as a matter of top priority. Helen, don't sulk, we all have to pull together (who do you think got you your visa, after all? none other than our Foreign Object Minister himself), but if, in pulling together, one of us should regularly pull with extra panache, then others will start to pout, and deliberately underperform, displeasing the president. Capiche?

One can't help but notice that the Minister of Sport seems to have made a concerted effort to appear in every photo at the Deaths of Hintsa launch. The Minister of Intelligence, on the other hand, was notably absent. Then again, covert operations being what they are, this was to be expected.

Minister of Arts and Culture Unilateral Declaration of Ministry Name Change: In seeking a snug ideological fit with our mission as stated by the President ("pull together"), this Ministry will henceforth be known as the Department of Parts of Culture.

The Minister of Anthologies, Marginalia, Tea and Kisses extends hearty congratulations to the creators and authors of that famous erotic anthology ‘Open’ and wishes a jolly re-launch party to all. Since the the Minister will be shelving anthologies this evening, the minister deeply regrets she will not be able to attend the festivities (particularly unfortunate, since she has heard a rumour that the Minister of Intelligence will be attending in Tiger Skin Boxers. Ministry sources suspect this could be a bid to further infilitrate the ultra-left).

The Minister of Sport requests the President's permission to attend the launch of 'Open' tonight, and promises to appease the Foreign Minister by ducking every time Sophy approaches with camera to document her chins. She will try not to blow the Minister of Intelligence's tiger-print cover.

At last, after all the years when the right to vote was just so much ink on so much paper to so many people, last week all those people found that it was not. The right to vote was a reality. The right to vote was a means to make their voices heard. The right to vote was the means to effect change. (OK, I’ve been listening to too many Obama speeches – I was going on to say: “The right to vote was a means to secure their interests as equal citizens of the United State of America but I thought that was over the top.)

It’s inevitable that Ben should make the comparison with SA 1994 – one would have had to be a hard bitten cynic indeed to dismiss the importance, even if only emotionally, of either SA 1994 or USA 2008.

Obama’s victory was, in part, due to his drive for voter registration, to get people to actually come out and exercise a right they’ve had for so long on paper, but been deprived of in reality. Either through their own, or more likely through some or other dickhead’s apathy or outright obstruction.

I doubt we’ll see – in 2009 - the long queues of people in SA who came out to vote in 1994. Not because of any improvement in handling of voting procedures, but in part through apathy brought on by all the promises that were made that day and broken since. Mostly, however, it will be through the obstruction of the ANC in government brought on by, I would like to say, dickheadedness - Kannie wurrie vannie mense nie.

Most probably is simply good old-fashioned SA slapgatgeid, of which there could be no better example than the Department of Home Affairs. As an example of which, I attach the letter below which says it all.

There I was, writing to you guys about being dead chuffed about my daughter exercising her first vote in May in one of the two countries in which she holds citizenship. And here I am, still battling for her to get the document which will enable her to exercise her right to vote in SA next year.

How many South African citizens, I wonder, will be deprived of the right to vote by the ineptitude of the department of home affairs in issuing ID documents? As many, I guess, as those whose lives are totally stuffed up because they can’t produce ID documents they’ve been waiting for, for years. Like this bloke I met when I was re-applying for mine, who’s been collecting endless fines because he can’t produce a driver’s licence, which he can’t produce because he can’t get his ID out of Home Affairs. Why does he drive without a licence then? Because he makes his livelihood as a fruit and veg hawker – he’s got no option. No ID, no life in SA these days. …………The man was in tears……..Reminded me a bit of the pass laws. He won't be voting next year- either because he's so pissed off or, more likely, because he still won't have his ID

Me, I am tempted to tell my daughter “fuck voting in the SA general elections” but how can I do that when I spent more than half my life fighting for me, and her, and that hawker, to have the right to vote?

Here, for your amusement, is the last letter I wrote to the powers that be. I thought it a better way to deal with the issue than to either burst into tears, or, as another man in the office in CT did, tell them “julle kan almal in julle moer kruip.” I do, however, wonder at the wisdom of my approach. At least my fellow applicants got to vent their frustration!

I refer to your letter of 3rd June in which you advised me that my daughter’s ID document had finally been issued on 13 May 2008.

[...]

With an election looming in the near future, my daughter hopes to cast her first vote as an adult in the new South Africa, a vote which her father and I fought for, as some of the ministers in your own government will verify. My daughter was an infant in the womb when I was picketing outside South Africa house for the franchise for all South Africans.

Should my daughter’s ID document be delayed beyond the date of the next elections, which on current form seems not unlikely, she will effectively be deprived of her right to vote. This would indeed be supreme irony – the government of a post-apartheid South Africa depriving a citizen of her right to vote by denying her documents which she correctly applied for.

I would welcome your early response to this letter, a copy of which I have sent to the high commissioner.

In light of this, she wishes to propose that the presidential unicycle be fitted with a fold-away book rack for the specific purpose of providing our prez with a suitable volume. Recommendations from the Minister of Arts and Culture as to which volume he should be seen with will be seriously considered.

As for the Swazi trip, Mr President, the unicycle is not deemed fit transportation.

Ha! I, like Barack (note prez-to-prez familiarity), have several volumes of Walcott's work, thanks primarily to the Minister of Arts and Culture's tip off of some - Jesus Christ - eleven years ago. Specifically: In a Green Night, Sea Grapes and The Star-Apple Kingdom, the last of which is my tops, because of "The Schooner Flight".

I trust that President Ben Hussein Williams does not require facilitation, let alone dictation, regarding his reading habits, whether for private pleasure or public image. Having said that, though, and following from our recently implemented 'Mingus in every home' project - which progresses favourably and is indeed accelerating thanks to our as yet unnamed Minister of Minerals and Energy Affairs' lowering of fuel costs - my department wishes to propose that copies of Zim Ngqawana's album, Vadzimu, be placed in all taxies BEFORE 2010.