Before
I left Karmel, I prayed in my room “God, I am going back to Bogor. It is a long
trip and I have to take six different vehicles to get home, I carry a heavy backpack and
take one small bag. You know the condition of my body right now, it can’t go on
such a trip. Walk with me, God, so Your strength makes my body strong”

I was
so relieved when I got home that for a while all the nausea, dizzy and stomache
were forgotten. Only after I got better did my father tell me my face was so
pale and I looked like half conscious on that day.. well, that’s possible..

“But
it was that night when God came and a miracle happened” my father recalled,
always with amazement and awe look on his face “You were healed that night.
Three days later you could get off the bed and walked as if you never got sick.
Four days later you were released from the hospital”

“You
were considered an extraordinary case” add my mother “Many doctors, nurses and
visitors came to see you. Many found it unbelievable because there was dengue
fever endemic. Many died, mostly children. There were two children of a doctor
who committed to the hospital on the same day when you were committed and they
both didn’t make it”

I am
not afraid of death but how could I be let to face death again at this moment?
My mother was ill. My parents were not working, there’s no pension, no deposit,
no income. I work to support the three of us.

Not
now! If I died, who would feed my parents? Should they spend the rest of their
lives living on other people’s mercy? Degrading by people? I couldn’t rest in
peace. Besides, I have so many hopes and dreams that haven’t even come true,
not even half of them.

But my
heart was hardened and cold. I felt being abandoned and betrayed by God. If you
haven’t been through the worst that it felt there was no way out and God stood
silent.. you can’t understand how I felt at that time..

I had
toothache that night. It hurt like hell that I thought I would spend the night
without able to sleep. As I was thinking like that, suddenly I saw God stood
next to me (I am blessed with the ability to see spirits. I am an Indigo).

What
they don’t know is my condition worsened that Wednesday night. It’s been going
for twenty four hours that when I pooped, the feses was liquid. I had nausea, I
couldn’t swallow any food, meds or even water, my stomach hurt so much and on
top of them is I threw up.

“God,
I don’t want to have anyone yell at me, telling me of being irresponsible, grumble
because they have to do my job so I must come to work these Thursday, Friday and
Saturday” I prayed “Give me Your strength”

Amidst the stomache, the cold sweat, the trembling, the dizzy and I had to use umbrella as walking stick, sometimes my father held me.. I could come to work for those three consecutive days and did all
my work. It was miracle.

I find sincerity in love & friendship in these people
(photos were taken less than ten days before I got sick)

I am so grateful to my
closest friends who sincerely love and care for me and deeply concerned about
me. They tried to help me even without me asking a favor, they asked how I was,
prayed for me and even called me home to know how I was doing once I got home.

Santa Claus is Rockin

Pray (Sam Smith)

Better Days (Hedley)

Heaven (Justin B)

Baby Shark (Dance by Niana & Ranz)

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Who is Keke?

I am a person whose life is full of surprises. Have a degree in banking management but after spending about 11 years moving from one office job to another, I ended up teaching in kindergarten from 2005 to 2011. Due to some reason I had to resign from that kindergarten as I have got myself.. yep, another office job. Something that I never thought I would do again for a living. Writing in this blog continues though. I just want you to know what is this former kindergarten teacher does & thinks after she resigned from her teaching post. I like my present job but I know I am a teacher. One day I will teach in school again.