WootBot

There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.

1. Ghosts vs. Sulfur in terms of Blocking a Door

A real ghost will certainly keep people out of a room, but here’s the problem: they need to go into the room at least once to see the ghost, get scared, and decide never to return. In that way, the ghost hasn’t blocked the door; it’s made people refrain from trying to use that door in the future. Unlike a ghost, sulfur has actual weight to it. You put enough sulfur up against the door, no one’s going to be able to push through. Nor would anyone want to: after all, the smell of sulfur wafting out from under a door doesn’t exactly scream, “c’mon in!”

Advantage:

Sulfur

2. Muffins vs. A Friendship Bracelet in terms of Getting Back into Rollerblading

You don’t want to go rollerblading for the first time in a long time with a stomach full of muffins, because with all the swaying back and forth, the speed, and the physical exertion, it won’t be long until those muffins reemerge. Instead, skip breakfast and put on a friendship bracelet. Why? Because if it's been a real long while since you’ve put on your inlines, you’re not going to be looking too cool out there, so it’s important that you remind yourself that you’re not actually as lame as you feel and that you do have friends.

This week's Rebuttal of the Week goes to oft-rebuttler dukeofwulf, who offers these words of wisdom as to why torque is better than a cork for not looking like a dork:

You must apply torque to a corkscrew in order to remove the cork. So in a social occasion which requires you to uncork a wine bottle, the cork is threatening to make you look like a dork, and your torque prevents you from doing so.

Advantage: torque.

You, too, can be like dukeofwulf! Just argue with me in the comments, and I begrudgingly choose to admit you're right next time! (In 2 weeks.)

cbrett42

I can't believe you got this one so wrong. The answer is obviously buffalo. I don't even feel the need to offer the counter argument, but if you want one, here it is: one has the Bills, the other was featured on a nickel.

dukeofwulf

In all honesty, I have to give credit for my win to my year of higher education as a physics major. Without it, I'd not understand the finer points of torque.

3. Buffalo vs. Buffalo in terms of Buffalo

I'll not argue your impeccable grammar. But your argument comes to no conclusion. Had your argument used the city on its own merits, you may have been correct, but instead it was used merely as an adjective. Is it the source of a thing that defines its qualities, or its very nature? I argue the latter.

fractalVisionz

Muffins vs. A Friendship Bracelet in terms of Getting Back into Rollerblading

Rollerblading can be dangerous. Let's face it, as a kid, I had my fair share of wipeouts. Where did I fall the most? My wrists of course. Can Muffins protect my wrists? Not unless I pad my entire body with them, which will tip off-balance while rollerblading. Not only that, the muffins will eventually go stale, making the padding like falling into once-delicious bits of gravel, ouch! In fact, a single wide friendship bracelet will be more than enough to keep my skin from shredding on the pavement, let alone 20 as the kids wear.

johnnyicemaker

According to the interweb, some buffalo have wings, tasty, cooked & sauce covered. There are restaurants entirely dedicated to the cooking and serving of such delicacies. Some are even located in Buffalo. Buffalo does not have wings, just buildings and roads. It would only require a small herd of winged buffalo, also known as a swarm, to overrun Buffalo. Advantage ... buffalo!

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