I'm new to these boards but I feel that I've been dealing with an issue for years and would love some feedback. A few years back my friend was hit by a car and died on the way to come see me (after I had asked her). I can't help but feel that I am responsible. If I hadn't asked her, she'd still be alive. How do I let go of this guilt that I'm responsible for her death? I understand it was out of my control, but I can't let it go. Any advice would be appreciated.

Would your friend blame you? If the situation was reversed, would you blame your friend?

Your feelings are understandable, certainly. I think anyone would feel guilty. But you also know that it's not right to hold yourself responsible. You might try writing your friend a letter, or writing yourself a letter- but you definitely need to forgive yourself. You might consider seeing a grief counselor also, for help working through it.

Have you expressed the way you feel to your friends parents? I think you will find that they never even had a thought about you being responsible, in fact they probably feel bad for you that she was on your way to see you.

I have a similar situation except I am the parent who lost a child. My son age 23 was also going to visit a friend the night he was in a car accident that took his life. She had also expressed feeling guilty that he was on his way to see her. I told her that she didn't need to feel that way. That I was sorry that she had to go through a night of hell waiting for him to show up, she called & called with no answer. Until the next day when she found out what had happened. She suffered so much and I told her how sorry I was that she went throught that and not to feel guilty it would only get in her way of grieving for him. I also told her he would never want you to feel responsible.

Hope that helps. My prayers are with you.

The Following User Says Thank You to heidel For This Useful Post:EagleRiverDee (10-26-2010)