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Author
Topic: HIV FROM KISSING AND FINGERING? (Read 32580 times)

I’m at the breaking point in my life and don’t know which way to turn or who to get the right advise from.My story:A month ago I engaged in rather heavy foreplay with a man whose status I am unsure of.This never lead to sex but rather intense french kissing and fingering (deeply if it matters) several times from his side. I know they say that if there were cuts or sores then the transmission is great, but who checks the person they are with before engaging in foreplay?

I’ve read all the previous posts, but need reassurance from you as I’ve started experiencing some really weird symptoms I just can’t not understand or ignore:

• Headaches• Nausea• Sore legs• Tender tongue and sore lips• Numbness in my left three fingers• Swollen colon (diagnosed by my doctor a couple of days ago)• Last night it felt as if my face was on fire – red, sore and really itchy.

In your expertise have you ever:• Seen someone infected with HIV from this?• Is there any documented cases?• How is HIV transmitted through the mouth and fingers?• If this is a concern why are they only punting the use of condoms?• Do you think its more anxiety then HIV?• Do you think this warrants an HIV test?• Do these symptoms show early HIV infection?

Being fingered is NOT a risk for hiv infection, regardless of any small cuts etc he may have had on his hands. Not one person has ever been infected this way and you won't be the first.

Kissing, "french" or otherwise, is also not a risk for hiv infection. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Along with reading our Transmission Lesson linked to in the Welcome Thread, here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER BEING KISSED AND/OR FINGERED, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Make sure your partner is using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Jessica, whatever is going on with you physically in terms of symptoms has nothing to do with HIV. You didn't do anything which put you at risk for transmission. Neither kissing of any sort nor fingering however deeply are risks for HIV. Zero risk.

If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

What you need to know about HIV risk in terms of sexual activities is that the only confirmed risk for transmission is via either unprotected vaginal or anal INTERCOURSE. So as long as any guy you are with is wearing a latex condom every time, then you will be well protected. All other activities are risky only in theory. In the real world of HIV sexual risk is about unprotected intercourse.

Thank you Ann and Andy for your words of wisdom and encouragement.So basically what you’re telling me is that no one has ever been infected this way, my symptoms are not conclusive to HIV and these two sexual activities are classed as ‘safe’ no matter what the circumstances are? I never checked to see if he had any bleeding sores, ulcers or cuts so am I correct in saying that even if he had any, I’m safe and don’t need to be tested?Are these symptoms not a sign of early infection?

Even if he had bleeding sores, ulcers, etc, you don't need to be tested. And consider this, if the finger he used had a bleeding cut or sore on it, it would have hurt him to use it so he wouldn't have used it.

Your symptoms are not hiv specific - they could be symptoms of any one of hundreds of illnesses.

Your symptoms are not a sign of early infection because you had no risk of infection. Keep working with your doctor to find out what, if anything, is wrong. Whatever it is, it is not hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

In the event that you ever have unprotected intercourse, which I hope you won't, so-called "signs of early infection" are never the way to know anything reliably about your HIV status. If they appear at all they resemble too many other illnesses. So neither the presence or the absence of symptoms is the way to know anything. Only an HIV test at 13 weeks past a genuinely risky incident, (which you did not have), is the way to know HIV status.

You don't need to test nor do you need to be further concerned this time. End of story.

Ann and Andy, I can’t begin to tell you both how awesome the two of you are and the special way you make people start to feel good about themselves and the worry disappear slightly.

Can you answer just a couple of more questions for me, please?

I live in South Africa where unfortunately HIV/AIDS is more of an epidemic then anything else. Do the following questions have any relevance?

A sexologist expert from the 24.com website posted this on the site:• With french kissing there is a very small risk of transmission but this risk can be increased if there are any mouth sores. or broken skin(which may not always be visible to the naked eye). like so, fingering poses a transmission risk if there any ports(sores, ulcers etc) through which there can be an exchange of body fluids (blood, vaginal secretions etc). early symptoms would include symptoms of seroconversion (flu like symptoms, rash, lymphadenopathy) if you are worried, than you should get tested and have pre test counseling done which would address all your doubts and concerns.

Does this have any relevance to my dilemma, symptoms and concerns? When I looked the ‘thebody’, ‘medhelp’ and ‘aidsmed’ websites, they’ve all said it’s a ‘no risk’ activity but maybe living in South Africa this is not true?

The "sexologist expert" certainly is NOT an expert where hiv is concerned. This person is totally WRONG. Nothing you brought to us is in any way, shape or form a risk for hiv infection.

What's more, it doesn't matter where you live. That does not change your risk factor - and you had NO RISK.

One more time, use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently - consistently means EVERY TIME YOU HAVE INTERCOURSE - and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you Ann.I have forwarded your response to her and would obviously appreciate her feedback on why she assumes this is a 'risky' activity. I know from all the sites I have visited the last couple of days the say it isn't but this 24.com website in South Africa projects a different story to yours.

Thank you once again for your help, assistance and prompt responses to my posts - it does ease the tension a little and hopefully I can move on and forget about it!