The FORTastic Top Moments in Reality Countdown – March 14-20,2004

Each week the FORT team of mods and writers team up to compile the best and most memorable moments in reality television. Pull up a chair and join us as we review our favorite moments from the week of March 14-20, 2004

Doesn’t Sound Like a Concussion to Me:
This week’s The Apprentice was a lame recap show. But buried amid the dullness was Donald Trump’s take on the head injury contestant Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth suffered in one of Trump’s buildings. A piece of plaster – which has since morphed into a piece of concrete – fell onto Omarosa’s head, and she has since said she spent 18 hours in a hospital being treated for a concussion.
Trump’s memory of the incident is decidedly less dramatic; he emphasizes that the plaster fell accidentally, says a doctor came to the suite and found nothing more than a bump on Omarosa’s head, but that Omarosa still wasn’t satisfied and so headed for a hospital. There, Trump says, doctors didn’t find anything terribly wrong. He would have shown us, he says, but the cameras weren’t allowed in.
Without videotaped proof, the truth may never be known, but it’s clear Trump doesn’t believe Omarosa’s version.

Three Women and An Idiot
Starring Kathy, Shiiann, Jerri and Lex. We all know what happens when one assumes. In this case however the saying doesn’t quite work. You see on Survivor this week Lex, assuming there will be a merge soon decided to vote Ethan, after getting rid of another strong player in Colby last week. Lex assumesthat having fewer strong players on his tribe right now will help him. He assumes that when the merge happens he’ll be in great shape. I figure he hasn’t seen Rupert and Rob during the challenges lately. No Lex, you won’t be making an ass out of me, but you certainly may be making one out of “U”.

21, 18, 43, and 15
Yes, those are the numbers corresponding with American Idol’s Randy Jackson’s use of: ”Sup”, “I’m not/I am feelin’ it”, “dude” and “Dawg”. Randy, dear, you’re a grown man. There’s no need to try to talk like you’re 19-22 year old from ”Da ‘Hood”. Sup with that Randy? Please for the love of God, dawg, stop it already, we're not feelin' it dude and give these kids something they can actually use.

Arrivederci, Orgy
The biggest moment of the penultimate episode of America's Next Top Model is one that never even made it to air. The much-touted and anticipated "orgy" scene in Milan that Tyra Banks, creator of the show, had publicized like a carnival barker on Conan O'Brien back in January became yet another unfortunate casualty of the reactionary outcry over Janet Jackson's errant nipple. "My girls on the show were doing the nasty," Tyra said, "There's eight people making out at the same time kind of in the same vicinity. I don't want to say orgy--but I just said it." To the chagrin of many, however, UPN ordered cuts to material it deemed "inappropriate" for broadcast. Boo! Hiss!

America's Next Top Cheatin' Ho
Despite the orgy being eighty-sixed (not, as we had hoped, sixty-nined), there was still plenty of steamy action on America's Next Top Model when the young would-be models get hot and wet in a jacuzzi with some of the male friends they made in Italy. Unfortunately, after editing, it looked like most if it happened between Cinderella-contender Shandi and her anonymous Italian stallion, both of whom appeared to be in a battle to suck each other's faces off before retreating to the bedroom to do the horizontal Mambo Italiano. Yes, that's Shandi, the girl who threw a fit in an earlier episode when her boyfriend at home had innocently told her he was going to see a movie with a friend of theirs who is not only married with a child, but whose husband works at the theater they were going to!

Heh, Women Drivers
On this week's episode of Fear Factor we got to see an old stereotype put to the test. The stunt involved finding the right key to start a car, drive it through the back of the trailer of a moving semi, and stop closest to the start line. It was the muscular Greg against the busty Kasey in the finals. Greg went first, found the right key with the first one he chose, and promptly drove through the door and crashed to the ground. But, while getting caught up in all of the excitement, he forgot to step on the brake and the car rolled…and rolled…and rolled for about 20 yards. Kasey then very calmly climbed into the car and also started it on her first try, drove through the door and crashed to the ground. But, she came to a dead stop as soon as the car hit the ground. They didn’t even need to measure, it wasn’t close at all. So, the moral of this story is that women are good drivers, especially when it comes to crashing.

Ignorance is not bliss
Daniel is an openly gay man back to gain the acceptance from his peers that he didn't receive in his younger days on the premiere episode of High School Reunion. Everyone enjoys the charismatic and sweet Daniel and his fun side except for TJ....the self and show-labeled "redneck". When TJ finds himself assigned to a room with Daniel, he gets so uncomfortable, that he moves out immediately. Apparently, TJ finds his own photo above his bed to be dangerously close to Daniel's by four scary yards. Whaaaatever. TJ says he doesn't mind being known as a homophobe. I'm glad he's comfortable with labels, because now he'll be known as King of the Idiots.

Great...Boost His Ego Just a Little More
On Wednesday's American Idol results show, Simon Cowell no doubt watched in glee as America's decision to vote off 17-year-old Leah Labelle was revealed. Joining Leah in the bottom three were Amy Adams and Jennifer Hudson. Leah was Paula's rather adamant wildcard pick, while Simon has always expressed his dislike for Leah's performances, comparing her to, among other things, a "designer dress with a slight rip in the back." To further add to the Scowell's head size, his own wildcard pick, George Huff, has quickly become a fan favorite. Hopefully, Simon can still fit through the door to make it to the next show. Ironically, Leah sang, "You Keep Me Hangin' On," the same song last year's first bootee Vanessa Olivarez performed.

The Best Revenge is Your Nemesis in a Dress
This week, Adam Mesh returned to Average Joe looking for shot at true love. The first season's runner up was undeniably one of the bright spots of the show, attracting numerous female fans, even if he didn't get the girl in the end. Adam wasn't the only Average Joe to return, as Dennis L, Tareq, Jay, Joe and Craig came back to help narrow down the field. They weren't alone. After meeting several of the women, an odd looking woman approached Adam. This was no woman though, but a man dressed undercover to infiltrate the group to detect their ulterior motives. The man in question was pretty boy Jason, who ultimately beat out Adam to win the vacation with Melana in the end. Adding insult to injury, Adam recognized Jason right away. Was briefly dating Melana not punishment enough?

A Million Dallahs and the Gull
In her confessional, Amber said, I know you're not ever supposed to feel secure on Survivor. But with Boston Rob around, she said she does feel secure. The producers treated us to some romantic shots of Rob and Amber in the darkness. They cuddled up to one another. They french-kissed. Rob stroked her sides and her arm. Mark Burnett has perhaps been hungry for this kind of action since Jenna and Heidi got hungry for peanut butter. Rob confessed that he'd love to go home with the million dollars and the girl. For a short clip there we were treated to what boosts the ratings over on FOX, the island getaway, the contestants in an embrace. They'd do well, though, to follow Amber's initial advice. Getting too comfortable, or getting complacent during Chapera's prime, might be dangerous. Ambah isn't part of the prize, Rahb.