Third time is a . . . baby

July 29, 2007

Ah, the third child. Does any other impending birth hold so much suspense? If you have already been blessed with a boy and a girl, the third baby is set to shift the balance of power in the family one way or another. Or, if you have already been blessed with two of a kind, will this baby make three or will you get that boy or girl you haven't had yet? Being a mother of two boys and expecting another baby in November, it seems that many people assume that we are now “trying for a girl.” Our answer is always the same. Sure, we'd love to have a daughter, but we would love to have a third son, too. Seriously, if we were trying for a girl, we should really have moved away for awhile while we were doing such. Until recently, my husband's family included only grandsons. In our area, boy births have outnumbered girl births roughly 12 to 1 in the past four years. Three of my friends have four boys and one has five with nary a girl among them. It's really quite funny when our young children get together. Even when families with girls are included, a preschool girl is still very difficult to come by. I've always known families of four, five, and even seven boys. I used to wonder what those mothers did to deserve such a fate. (Maybe they did, too, at times!) Now I seem to be on that track, too, and it really is not nearly as terrible as I had once envisioned. OK, I admit at the start of my second pregnancy, I was really looking forward to the possibility of a girl. I was feeling a bit lonely with my toddler son and husband out bonding over farming all summer long. But, then came our routine 20 week ultrasound. That was followed by 17 days of waiting for amniocentesis results and wondering if the warning signs that had turned up on that screen would amount to a healthy baby a severely challenged baby or one who would not live out in the world at all. Those weeks were some of the worst of my life, but they taught me many valuable lessons. They gave me a greater respect for people with special needs and the parents who raise or have raised them. They made me even more compassionate for those parents who have lost their babies before birth. They made me more thankful for every time I felt that baby move inside me. And, after my doctor called on that Sunday afternoon to tell us we were having a healthy baby boy, they taught me to be grateful for the ultimate miracle of a healthy child. With an indescribable blessing like that, who was I to request what kind of healthy child I was given? We've decided to keep the sex of our baby a surprise this time. Sure, I'd love to start buying cotton-candy-pink dresses and white patent leather shoes. I still sometimes wonder if I will always be the only female in our family, besides the family dog. But knowing now would not change anything. No matter what, we will still bring our baby home to two adoring big brothers, the neutral-colored nursery will remain the same, and, if he or she is lucky, a name will have been chosen that both mom and dad have agreed on. Most importantly, this baby will be loved by many, many people. And, if he's a boy, he should probably follow his brothers' lead and start looking for a prom date by his first birthday. Laura Melius, special to the American News, lives in rural Cresbard, where she taught high school English from 2001 until the school's closure in 2004. She is currently a stay-at-home, mom to two young sons, Landen and Nathan. Human Relations