Keeping up with the rerun schedule I re-watched (yeah, like I need a reason to re-watch any episode, well maybe except Route 666. I`d need a reason for that.) Skin (my snarky recap here: Skin Snark), it really got me thinking of the character`s further development.

Because it occured to me that Shapeshifter!Dean is the most honest Dean we`ve ever seen. Bar none. Which of course is pretty ironic since it wasn`t really Dean at all.

Sure, Dean has let his vulnerablities show from time to time but what about his deep-seeted anger and resentment? With his upbringing and what he`s been through in life, he must have tons of issues. He is not a saint after all. But apart from this episode I`ve never seen him voicing any of those, not really.I sometimes have this image in my head of Dean inwardly putting his hands over his ears, going all "Lalalala, can`t hear you" while a little voice inside him tries to tell him he should be nine kinds of angry right now.

First let me say, I don`t believe the Shapeshifter lied in any way. It was pretty much the same deal Sam had going on in Asylum. There Sam`s anger was amplified, the feelings twisted and taken out of context, only focused on the negative things but that doesn`t mean the feelings weren`t his. Ellicott wouldn`t think Dean was a pathetic drone, he neither knows him nor does he really care. Sam is the one who has repeatedly made his displeasure known about Dean always following their Dad`s orders with question. So on some level yes, this is what he feels and I really think it is more frustration than anger. It`s just that usually these feelings are balanced out by the love, affection and yes, admiration he has for his big brother.

In the same way Shapeshifter!Dean, after sharing the psychic link with the actual Dean, voiced the latter`s innermost thoughts. And due to the Shapeshifter being kind of an unfriendly lad himself, he latched on to the negative aspects.

So, what did we learn through the shifter? Dean has a fear of abandonment. Well, duh, that was kind of a no-brainer. And I believe Dean showing his emotional vulnerability in Shadow and Salvation demonstrates him being conciously aware of that, even if he normally tries to keep it hidden beneath the tough guy facade. He pretty much admitted in both episodes his fear of being left alone, his family being all he had.

The other fun little tidbit the shifter revealed were his envy of Sam and also his resentment of his little brother. With this I`m undecided if Dean conciously lets himself reflect on that. I`m sure he was/is angry at Sam for leaving but I`m guessing he chooses not to focus on that thought.

The most interesting thing for me was his anger at Dad. "Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to and he ditched me too. No explanation, nothing. Just Pfft." (and I love the Pfft here :)

This is DEAN, John`s biggest cheerleader in all the lands. This is the guy who blows a fuse in his brain trying to comprehend Sam`s utter not caring about being given an order by their Dad. It really was like a computer screen: Unknown ERROR. Does not compute.

This is the guy who fanwanks John sending them the coordinates in Something Wicked so John is seen as the shining knight, who gives his unworthy son a chance to repent for his big sin. (Can you tell I`m still bitter? I would have told him where to shove his coordinates.)

So really, I have a hard time picturing the Dean as early in the Season as Skin thinking anything bad about his hero. Not that he wouldn`t feel anger about being ditched without a word, mind you. I just think he would clamp down on this so hard and be so deeply in denial about it, he wouldn`t let himself voice those feelings, not even in the privacy of his own mind. He just wouldn`t acknowledge that, burying any negative feelings he MIGHT have under layer upon layers of excuses.But with the Shapeshifter the gloves come off. That guy feeds on these powerful emotions since it reminds him of the rage in himself. And he lets it all out, he lets Dean rant through him.

And concerning certain spoilers about Dean being negatively effected by the events of Devil`s Trap I makes me wonder if this could be a way for the character to go. Not that Dean will end up tying women to chairs to torture them, which admittedly could be a fun show if he continues to take his shirt off afterwards *g*, but will he allow himself to really feel and adress his anger this time? Or will he continue to internalize everything, drying to put it away in neat little boxes in his mind, he never has to open again?

Fact is, Dean is still too co-dependent on them. He needs to free himself from them and I have this feeling that things will have to get a lot worse before they are going to get better. Maybe he needs to have a cathartic fight with either John (if he is around) or Sam or both. Dean needs to be the one to walk away from them out of his own free will for a change. That will ultimately be good for him and may lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation between him and his family. And quite frankly, it might serve as a wake-up call when the guy you could count on to be unquestionably loyal, always by your side, kind of throws things at your feet and walks away. I don`t think either John or Sam, who in fact doesn`t take Dean for granted the way his Dad does, would ever imagine THAT little scenario. So that would be quite a shocker. And Dean would learn that he can survive that, he doesn`t need to define himself through them and the jobs he performs in the family.

So, as much as I love the boys`tightness (and god the slash jokes are just writing themselves in this fandom, aren`t they? *g* ), I think they need to have a big blow-out fight. Even moreso with John, if he survives. Otherwise the brothers are fast approaching a dead end emotionally. They have out-grown their separation and rediscovered each other, gotten closer together but short of either of them totally changing his philosphy/personality they can`t really move forward.

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Comments

The Benders would have been good for a small situation but of course they couldn't allow Dean to rescue Sam if Sam hasn't been able to do all the heavy thinking already, heaven forbid they let Dean look like he's competent on his own.

Apart from the cartoonish frying pan to the head (paging Daffy Duck here) I didn`t have a problem with Dean being overpowered (if they had kept it like it was in the first sides). There is no shame in that. And it was nice seeing Sam not being caught in a chokehold for once with Dean running to the rescue. It stands to reason that Sam had enough training to be physically able to defend himself. So, I was okay with that. And given the situation it made sense that Sam figured out these guys were human.

The fact is Dean's got some great leadership qualities, he's got this quality that lets you believe if anyone can bring you through a situation in one piece, it's him.

Absolutely, he often takes charge in the hunt, either in destroying the MotW or in rescuing the civilians and if it makes sense, splitting tasks with Sam.

And I think he has confidence in his abilities as a hunter. It`s just when Dad shows up, he hands over leadership without second thought (and John showed very poor leadership qualities in DMB, both in his strategy and in how he treated his sons).

What I could see working is something like Scarecrow with either Sam or John going off on an obsession quest and Dean digging his heels in and going to help some people in peril. And him being succesful on his own.

Even if they don`t separate physically, which admittedly won`t work in the show for a longer period of time, he needs to separate emotionally from them. That wouldn`t have to mean he doesn`t care anymore but this feeling of co-dependency, of having to work for love and approval would lessen, in a "You know what. I love you and I`ll do anything for you. But I don`t need you to survive" way.He totally needs to develop a better concept of his own self worth.