Save Your Sanity: Help for Handling Hijackals®

Latest Episode

You need to learn how to side-step toxic, passive-aggressive behavior, and save your sanity, right? Today's episode gives you 7 ways to do just that. Other episodes have talked about important aspects of being in relationship with a passive-aggressive person, and about what to do if you are being […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c8e93ed333261d563d64589.mp3

Straight, compassionate talk to help you clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people I call Hijackals®. Understand what’s really going on within their volatile or passive-aggressive ways.

You particularly need to tune in if you are in any way being abused: devalued, demeaned, dismissed, and discounted verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually.

Then, see the cycles and know your best next steps: what has to change within you, and between you and the Hijackal in order to make good decisionsand changes to manage these difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships!

This podcast is available via these and other popular apps:

You need to learn how to side-step toxic, passive-aggressive behavior, and save your sanity, right? Today's episode gives you 7 ways to do just that. Other episodes have talked about important aspects of being in relationship with a passive-aggressive person, and about what to do if you are being passive-aggressive. Now, how to protect yourself from the toxicity of passive-aggressive behavior coming from someone else! You feel the energetic hit of their toxic behavior, but strangely, most folks […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c8e93ed333261d563d64589.mp3

Oh, the joys of being love-bombed, right? Only you had no idea that that was what was happening!You honestly believed you had found your partner, your person, your soulmate, the person who knew you so well, and could anticipate your needs. You just knew you'd be happy forever. All was well...until the "Gotcha!" That's the moment when you realized--much as you tried not to notice--that things were no longer as rosy as they seemed. You recognize that you are often being discounted, being […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c85ccbc5bdb677250ba11c9.mp3

How many times have you heard someone--maybe on TV--say, "Oh, we're just going through a rough patch." Really? Is it? Or, is it abuse? It's SO important to know the difference, and that's what today's episode sets out to make very clear: the difference.Here's how Dictionary.com defines abuse:to use wrongly or improperlymisuseabuse one's authoritytreat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive wayto speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or aboutmalignto commit sexual assault uponharshly or […]

Whatever has the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff got to do with covert narcissism? Just who is that troll under the bridge in the story? In your story? Let's take a look at that in today's episode of Save Your Sanity. Sad that any one has to live under a bridge, for sure. No doubt about it, the parents of a covert narcissist taught them how to do it. That's how they survived their childhoods. Unfortunately, those are the only strategies they currently have, and so....under the bridge! […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c730ec3908ab02c26f052d8.mp3

HIJACKALS®! They exist! You've likely met one or two. Most everyone has. There is no real need for a diagnosis. The Hijackal will not subject him or herself to one, anyway. After all, s/he is perfect, right? All you really need to have is the ability to clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of these relentlessly difficult people, and know what to do to not become their prey! They are emotional predators. I created and trademarked this term, #Hijackals, to give you a way to easily […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c6a4e368ac2e8ef7188b4dc.mp3

UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT ON YOUR LIFE IS IMPORTANT.If it happened to you, it can affect all areas of your life and relationships.THE GOOD NEWS: You can heal and we'll talk about this later in the episode with my guest.DR. JONICE WEBB, Author of the first book written on Childhood Emotional Neglect ( CEN )First, though, I invite you to answer this question:"Do you recognize what emotional abuse of children is? It's much more than you might think."Abuse is any […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c60d85822ee742466085a7e.mp3

Constant drama in one of your relationships? Are you frustrated and resentful, but unsure how to change things? Do you fool yourself by making excuses for the other person's poor, damaging, or degrading behaviors? No more, OK? You will feel SO much better when you are confident that you can: set boundaries express your boundaries maintain your boundariesset consequences for trampled boundariesfollow-through on the consequencesRight? Of course. If you had a #Hijackal parent, you are used to […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c573ad955fd17ed4b629d58.mp3

Emotional grown-ups don't fight. Kids and needy adults fight. You don't want to be one of those, so a few essential tips for you in today's episode. Fighting is what kids do. They do it because they are trying to establish boundaries, power, and a sense of who they are. They don't know yet. Their skills are almost non-existent, except for what they have seen the adult in their lives do. Were those good models? Hmmmm....You don't want to fight, right? So, today, I'm suggesting you do these […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c4cc1daa87db9495f97252f.mp3

I know, you don't want to believe that that person who said they loved you--or, that person who gave birth to you--will ever really hurt you...like in go to the hospital, or the morgue hurt you, right? You want to believe that they really love you, even though they only behave that way when they really want something from you. Sometimes, they also behave that way when things are going VERY well for them in life. BUT, usually, they are unpredictably frustrated, angry, raging, or giving you the […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c451d0d535d27b775d47e81.mp3

Do you have a person in your life that is crazy-making? S/he promises to do something, and then somehow forgets?Or, a person who procrastinates regularly, then wants to make it your fault--or the weather's--that things don't get done? Then, you'll want to listen to this episode on the actual emotional abuse that happens when you are often experiencing someone else's passive-aggressive behavior. Passive-aggressive behavior is covert. Stealthy even! You're not really sure when or if you were hit, […]
Your browser does not support the audio element. But you can check this for the original link: https://feed.pippa.io/public/streams/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/episodes/5c3b6eede962b44043bbc699.mp3

Your Cart

Testimonials

Thank you Dr Shaler and may i just say, thank you for your work and your writings. You may have no idea just how much of a lifeline i have been thrown just by finding you and now your group.

FB Group member

I love you Rhoberta Shaler; you have given me such power, inner strength, wisdom and invaluable insights. Thank you!

FB Group member

As foretold, my ex got busy trying to engage me on Christmas Day. Thank you, Dr. Shaler for the heads up. Because of this page and your help, I was able to have a wonderful Christmas and not get sucked in ! That’s progress.

~ Client

I thought of you many times over the last period of time.

I want to express my thank you to you as you helped me very much in a period of time that was difficult for me and when I had no knowledge nor methods to overcome them alone.

Further more, I’ve read some of your books and conversations with you stimulated wonderful work on myself, which is ongoing.

Thank you so much.

T.T. Switzerland

That was such a well done interview and so helpful to me! –I took 11 pages of notes! –

Anne

Coming from a non-functional childhood, being able to learn healthy relationship skills and techniques allows me to feel confident in myself as I grow. Thank you, Rhoberta, for your openness, skilll, and kindness throughout the program. I am confident the skills I have learned will make me a better person in all aspects of life.

Marie

Please meet my dear friend Dr. Rhoberta Shaler who is highly health aware and a master at navigating people through relationship dynamics like no other I know and from a very unique and empowering perspective. She is especially gifted at working with spouses, partners, exes and colleagues of relentlessly difficult people. You can see her accomplishments at http://forrelationshiphelp.com.

Dr. Shaler, you have just described my previous life!!! I was married to a hijackal for almost 20 years and left 10 years ago. It has taken me 10 years to recover, but I did. Where were you 10 years ago??? I so hope you can help others who feel trapped and crazy as I did. Thank you!

Christa DavisYoutube viewer

Thank you Dr. Shaler, and may I just say, thank you for your work and your writings. You may have no idea just how much of a lifeline i have been thrown just by finding you and now your group.

- facebook group member

Thanks to you, I saw a pattern and realized I was being manipulated. After a very abusive day yesterday I ended the relationship. Thank you for the strength my friend.