The Green-eyed Momster(teacher)

I was doing some overtime work at the office with our new marketing manager, Sargei Azurin, when our Manila-line phone rang. I told Sargei to ignore it since it was past 6 p.m. But the caller was insistent and kept on calling. So Sargei answered the call.

Based on Sargei’s replies, I gathered that the caller from Quezon City was interested to review with us, and that he/she knew my husband from his college days. I even heard Sargei say that Randy won’t be able to talk to him/her because Randy was no longer in his office. Then Sargei asked me, “Ma’am, ano’ng oras daw po sumasagot ng calls si Sir Randy kasi gusto niya raw pong si Sir Randy ang makausap.” I told Sargei that Randy does not answer phone inquiries and that beginning next week he will be working at our Sta. Rosa office (sans Manila-line); I told Sargei to ask for the caller’s contact number so when Randy has time he could call this person.

As Sargei was getting the caller’s info, I suddenly felt limp. I heard Sargei utter the caller’s name, and it was vaguely familiar–lekat, ito ata ‘yung kinukwento ni Randy na ex-ex-an niya nung college ah! Pero parang iba ng konti ang name. But then the caller mentioned (Sargei repeated the information out loud so I heard) that she and Randy were groupmates in a project that was based on a certain wildlife-filled island.

Fart, eto nga ‘yun!!! In fact this woman and Randy hooked up (literally!) on that island!!!

And then it hit me–oh no, super ganda pa siguro siya (she’s at least ten years older than I am and Randy said that she was very pretty when they hooked up, pero mas maganda raw ako)! Siguro gusto niyang i-flaunt ang kagandahan at ka-sexy-han niya sa asawa ko!!! Taking the vantage point of an ex-hook-up’s perspective, I won’t want to see an ex kung hindi ko matatalbugan physically ang current niya. Ergo, double fart–she probably thinks she’s better-looking than I am!!! I was certain she searched Randy on Facebook and since my face is splashed on Randy’s Facebook cover, she knew how I look like. And probably in her opinion, mas maganda siya!!! I clicked my Facebook profile picture and scrutinized my profile photo:

Then I started to work: Sargei wrote her full name and contact number on a piece of paper to give to Randy, and I got that paper. I consulted Google and then Facebook so I’d know whom I’ll be dealing with. But my sleuthing turned up nothing. Soooooo…hindi siya sikat. Or hindi siya famewhore/nagsisikat-sikatantulad ko.

As I was thinking of ways to unearth her persona, Randy called me to have dinner with him and call it a day.

Me, consulting the piece of paper kuno, and then handing the paper to him: Mmm, eto o, ****** daw

Randy, looking at the piece of paper, a smile tugging on his lips: Ah…

Lekat ka Randyboy, nakita ko ang ngiting ‘yun!!!

But I wanted to prolong my charade na deadma kunwari. So I went to the bathroom and had dinner. While doing all of those things, may telenovela screenplay nang nabuo sa isip ko. At ayoko ng ending. So I surreptitiously slipped in to our room and got the piece of paper. Tingnan natin kung hanapin ni Randy ‘yun! But wait–baka ni-save na niya ang number!!! Plan B: dial the number on his phone and check ano’ng ipinangalan niya kay girl-aloo!

I ate very little dinner that night because I wanted to make sure I’ll have slimmed down when this woman and I face each other this summer. I cursed myself for letting my body balloon like this. Shucks, oo nga pala–Randy will be in our Sta. Rosa office beginning next week. And he will be alone there. Noooooooooo!!!

Then we went into our bedroom.

After five minutes of pretending to be reading on our bed, hindi ko na kaya. Humirit na ako. In English pa. Ibig sabihin, seryoso na ako.

Me: You aren’t telling me something.

Randy: Ano ‘yun?

Me: I’d rather hear it from you.

Randy: Ano nga ‘yun?

Me: I said, I’d rather hear it from you.

Rewind that conversation five times, but make Randy freakout more and more per repetition.

And then I gave in again. In my trademark taas-kilay, arms folded on my chest with matching umiirap na mata and pout, I finally blurted..

And then he laughed some more, and called me t@ng@ more times. Hindi na ako nakapalag–that’s what I get for my overactive imagination. Hihi.

(Note to Randy: Hoy siguraduhin mong mali talaga ako ha!)

PS: And oh by the way, five minutes after that kumain na ako ng Joliibee cheeseburger then chocolates. Hmm, in retrospect, I realize I shouldn’t have confronted Randy right away–it might have helped me really start dieting. 😉

OMG! i thought i was reading a post about myself ha ha ha! relate na relate ako dito sis, this is a good one. And good job as you were able to keep your cool for a while. Kung ako yan siguro, may-i-cry-with-tulo-sipon pa!