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Who is nipples?

Normally this is where i’d go into a lengthy “who am i” description, but to be honest, that’s why i’m here… to learn how to answer that question.

“Tear off the mask. Your face is glorious.” – Rumi

OK, here it goes…

i am a MOTHER to a beautiful baby girl. nothing in my life will ever mean more to me than her.

i am a WIFE to a loving and faithful Husband. we have our issues just like anyone else, but we work through them and have a level of love, trust and acceptance between us that is invaluable. As an added bonus, He’s awesome in bed!

i am a SLAVE, i submit because it makes me happy. it gives me an inner peace that is yet unrivalled in my experience. and gets this girls panties wet like nothing else does.

i am HONEST and LOYAL. i have a tendency to be brutally honest, even when people can’t handle the truth and i often go out of my way to help people.

i am INTELLIGENT. i am a student and have maintained my average above 90% for the duration of my program.

i am BEAUTIFUL. i am a good person and have a kind heart.

i have a PRETTY SMILE and EXPRESSIVE EYES that betray my deepest feelings with ease.

i am STUBBORN. i will be the first to admit and apologise for wrongdoing when i am at fault, but i’ll be damned if i’m going to be intimidated into backing down when i feel strongly about something.

i am STRONG. i may be a slave, but i am certainly no doormat. i have learnt that there is strength, not weakness, in my submission. it takes self-control, perseverance and intense desire to submit to the will of another.

i DON’T TRUST EASILY. i am afraid to allow myself to be vulnerable and have a very hard time allowing people to get close to me. i am scared of disappointing them. i am scared of not being enough. i am scared of putting myself in a position that i can be hurt.

i am SCARED OF MYSELF… it terrifies and excites me to begin this journey to accept the real, naked, beautiful me. The me that has been hidden in fear of judgement for so long. i don’t know who’s judgement i’m more afraid of- others, or my own.

i am EMOTIONAL. i have struggled for a long time with allowing myself to experience my emotions, good and bad. i am working on this, as i don’t want to be scared to feel.

i am a PAIN-, HUMILIATION-, DEGRADATION-SLUT. i get off on being hurt. i crave being humiliated, degraded and objectified. i love being a little whore here for Master’s pleasure.

i am SASSY, SARCASTIC and WITTY. i have a strong personality. being a slave has taught me when it’s appropriate to speak my mind and when it’s in my best interest to be quiet. you will often find me joking and enjoying my interactions rather than taking everything too seriously.

i am NOT MONOGAMOUS. this one was a hard pill to swallow. i’m not sure what i am, but i know that i enjoy playing sexually with others. Thankfully, Master approves of me exploring this aspect of who i am.

i am an INTROVERT. i am content at home and need alone time to “recharge”.

i am NOT PERFECT. as a perfectionist, you can imagine how difficult that is to accept. i am working on accepting that it’s ok to make mistakes, and that there’s no shame in needing help from people you trust.

i struggle with POOR BODY IMAGE. i was 96 lbs when i met Master 10 years ago, and i am now 197 lbs. i was anorexic bordering on bulimic back then, and have no desire to go down that road again. i want to work hard to achieve the body i want, but also learn to accept myself, regardless of the shape and size of my body.

OK… that’s all i’ve got for now.

“It’s not your job to like me – it’s mine.” – Byron Katie

In a nutshell, this really expresses what i want to achieve.

This is my first step… i’ve been so focused on losing weight, that i’ve lost sight of learning to love me. if i don’t love myself at this weight, 10, 30, 70 or 100 lbs lighter isn’t going to make a damn bit of difference… i’m done hiding the true problem under layers of calorie counting, scale-obsession and failed attempts.

NO MORE GOAL WEIGHT.. I WANT TO LOVE ME.

i want to lose weight because i want to be proud of my body.

i want to get in shape because i want to kneel quietly at Master’s feet and enjoy my submission instead of being afraid of what others think of me.

i want to gain confidence in my appearance because i want to fulfil the naked humiliation fantasies that Master and i both get off on.

i want to be healthy so that Master will be confident in His decision to allow me to submit to Sir and explore my limits.

So… now that i’ve got my reasons… How am i going to stay motivated? How will this time be any different than the billion other times?

“Your life is a result of the choices you make… if you don’t like your life, it is time to start making better choices.”