Bad Santa

Santas in the bathroom smoking dope
I think for him theres not a hope
Hes in there with me aunties
And hes trying on their panties
He has got them tied up with a rope!!!

I always knew him to be a messer
But never though of him as a cross dresser
But as the fellah says
Suchlike is all OK these days
We cannot against such folk be an oppressor!!!

He drank all of the vodka and the wine
And Id swear I caught him snorting up a line
Christmas is the season
And its seems all he needs is a reason
He’s giving me a thumbs up to say he’s fine!

Oh, its my aunties I feel sorry for the most
They both look like they’ve seen a ghost
For being naughty hes going to spank ’em
Then shag and expect them to thank him
And of his exploits down every chimney hes going to boast.

So tell your auntie’s to be good throughout the year
No gambling, sleeping around or being on the beer
For Santa wont give them coal
But he’ll tarnish further their soul
He’s far naughtier a man than he may appear!!!