Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

SARASOTA COUNTY - The owner of a Siesta Key rental property accused of scamming customers threw a bucket of urine on a code inspector Monday morning, according to the Sarasota County Sheriff's Office.

Craig Siegel is accused of throwing urine on a code inspector in the 5100 block of Sandy Cove Avenue. Siegel is also accused of scamming people who wanted to rent a home in the 6500 block of Sabal Drive.

Craig Siegel, a local chiropractor and operator of Siesta Resorts LLC and Siesta Vacations Inc., came under investigation after numerous people reported renting a five-bedroom home in the 6500 block of Sabal Drive that was advertised as having 12 bedrooms, according to the Sarasota County Sheriff's Office.

After a fire at the property, Siegel, 44, reportedly began construction on the home's lower level in 2013 without proper permits.

The Sarasota County Code Enforcement officer, who Siegel allegedly doused with urine, went a home in the 5100 block of Sandy Cove Avenue at 7:20 a.m. Monday to order Siegel to dismantle the modifications.

For that incident, he is charged with criminal mischief and battery on a code enforcement officer, according to the Sheriff's Office.

Detectives have identified 19 victims from across the country who paid a total of more than $53,000 to rent the advertised 12-bedroom residence. When they arrived at the home and asked for refunds, Siegel allegedly refused and told the victims to sue him even though he claimed to have no money. The victims either stayed at the falsely advertised property or sacrificed the money they gave Siegel and paid for other accommodations.

Other victims have been identified, but told detectives they did not want to be part of the criminal investigation, according to the Sheriff's Office.

Florida is the place to be. I wouldn't leave here if I hd to. I love the beach, love the heat, love so much about it. I'm from St Louis, and lived in MN for one miserable year. Florida is my home and the place where my soul belongs. I don't even like to visit up north anymore as it's usually at least one or 2 cold (to me) days no matter what month I visit. I'll take the overcrowdedness and all the crazies to live in PARADISE! I am 3 blocks from the water and love seeing the beach an all that goes along with it every day!!

I'm with you. I am from there and went to college at UCF. I have been in KC for quite some time. My mom just moved up here, so I won't be moving back there for a while.

On Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that government meetings are allowed to open with prayer -- even though currently in this country, the vast majority of such prayers are geared toward Christianity. The case was prompted in Greece, New York, where ministers are often invited to say opening words at public meetings. Of 120 meetings, only four opening prayers were non-Christian.

It only took four days since the court's ruling for a self-described Satanist to ask to open a meeting with a plea to his god.

Chaz Stevens, an activist and longtime annoyance to elected officials -- the same man who last Christmas successfully installed his "Festivus Pole" made of Pabst beer cans in the rotunda of the Florida State Capitol -- has written to the City of Deerfield Beach, asking that he be allowed to open a meeting with a Satanic prayer.

Asked about his change of religion, Stevens says, "At Christmas, I was a Pabstfestidian. It's legitimate -- it's based in as much reality as the Catholics. But unlike Catholic priests, we don't rape little boys."

He said he converted to Satanism because "Satan is a cool dude. Think of all the people he's in charge of. Do you want to be stuck listening to harp music in the afterlife? Hell no. I want to drink beer and hang with hookers."

In all seriousness, he says, "I just want equal billing. We allow various religious nutjobs to give a prayer. They pray to Jesus, who is make-believe; God, who is make-believe; why not Satan, who is make-believe? Why discriminate against one make-believe god over another? Satan and I are being circumvented. The City of Deerfield Beach has once again declared war on religion -- and this time it's Satanism."

City attorney Andrew Maurodis had no comment yesterday afternoon.

Here's the full text of Stevens' letter:

Dear City of Deerfield Beach;

With the recent US Supreme Court ruling allowing "prayer before Commission meetings" and seeking the rights granted to others, I hereby am requesting I be allowed to open a Commission meeting praying for my God, my divine spirit, my Dude in Charge.

Murder defendant Daniel Trent said he stabbed his drinking companion and the man’s dog following an argument over the last can of beer.

“He didn’t want to share it. He wanted it for himself,” said Trent, of 5460 SE 30th Place, Unit C, in Ocala, as he sat on an aluminum bench at the Marion County Jail Tuesday morning. Trent said the killing was in self defense during a fight after the other man cut his hand with a kitchen knife.

Trent said he stabbed the dog -- a brown-and-white beagle -- because the dying man asked him to.

He was arrested Monday on a charge of second-degree murder in the death of 56-year-old Mark Durham. The stabbing occurred at Trent’s home in Greenfields Apartments overnight.

The two had been drinking Natural Ice, and Trent said they first drank a 24-pack purchased at a nearby store. Then, Trent said, they went back and got an 18-pack of Natural Ice. They both “chipped in,” he said, to buy the beer.

As they came to the last can of beer, Durham claimed it. Trent said they argued and he told Durham to go home.

Durham, he said, refused and instead went into the kitchen, grabbed a small knife and cut him on the side of his index finger. Trent said they struggled for the knife and he was able to take it away from Durham.

Then, he said, “I stabbed him.” Trent said he stabbed Durham twice, once in the stomach and once in the chest.

“I felt this was self defense because he attacked me,” Trent said, showing the open wound on the side of his right index finger.

High School Coach steals close to a grand from students out of the boys locker room. Nice!

Hey coach! Get down and give me... my money back!

Investigators say physical education teacher Rodney Barnes stole $950 from students in the boy's locker room at New Smyrna Beach High School in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, WFTV reports.

Authorities first began investigating the locker room thefts in April when students reported cash missing from their wallets.

Volusia County deputies were unable to put surveillance cameras in the locker room, so they stashed $141 worth of decoy money, covered with an invisible ultralight powder, in a student's wallet, according to the Associated Press.

Although "Operation Sticky Fingers" was run numerous times in April, Monday was the first time that a student helping with the sting finally noticed missing money. That same day, deputies checked the hands of students and faculty using an ultraviolet light and the powder allegedly showed up on Barnes' hands.

Upon questioning, Barnes admitted to taking a $50 bill from the student’s wallet and admitted to several other thefts totaling $170, cops say

Deputies said Barnes told them he would check lockers for any that were unsecured and go through the wallets, looking for cash. He stated he would never take all of the money, according to MyNews13.com

Barnes told ClickOrlando.com, "I made a mistake." He also said that he wouldn't teach again at the school even if he were allowed because he realizes staff and students have lost respect for him.

Barnes has been accused of mishandling student money in the money in the past.

According to employment records obtained by the Daytona Beach News-Journal, Barnes was reprimanded in September, 2012, for collecting $1,200 from students for P.E. uniforms without turning in the money.

Barnes was charged with grand theft and burglary, and released on $3,000 bail on Tuesday. He resigned from his job on Wednesday, according to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office.

Whether Barnes loses his teacher certification is up to the Florida Department of Education, BayNews9.com reports.

High School Coach steals close to a grand from students out of the boys locker room. Nice!

Hey coach! Get down and give me... my money back!

Investigators say physical education teacher Rodney Barnes stole $950 from students in the boy's locker room at New Smyrna Beach High School in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, WFTV reports.

Authorities first began investigating the locker room thefts in April when students reported cash missing from their wallets.

Volusia County deputies were unable to put surveillance cameras in the locker room, so they stashed $141 worth of decoy money, covered with an invisible ultralight powder, in a student's wallet, according to the Associated Press.

Although "Operation Sticky Fingers" was run numerous times in April, Monday was the first time that a student helping with the sting finally noticed missing money. That same day, deputies checked the hands of students and faculty using an ultraviolet light and the powder allegedly showed up on Barnes' hands.

Upon questioning, Barnes admitted to taking a $50 bill from the student’s wallet and admitted to several other thefts totaling $170, cops say

Deputies said Barnes told them he would check lockers for any that were unsecured and go through the wallets, looking for cash. He stated he would never take all of the money, according to MyNews13.com

Barnes told ClickOrlando.com, "I made a mistake." He also said that he wouldn't teach again at the school even if he were allowed because he realizes staff and students have lost respect for him.

Barnes has been accused of mishandling student money in the money in the past.

According to employment records obtained by the Daytona Beach News-Journal, Barnes was reprimanded in September, 2012, for collecting $1,200 from students for P.E. uniforms without turning in the money.

Barnes was charged with grand theft and burglary, and released on $3,000 bail on Tuesday. He resigned from his job on Wednesday, according to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office.

Whether Barnes loses his teacher certification is up to the Florida Department of Education, BayNews9.com reports.

Lakeisha Johnson, a 29-year-old employee of strip club Tootsie's Cabaret in Miami, was suspected of stealing an iPad after Broward County deputies allegedly spotted her jumping fences behind homes in the Florida town early Monday morning.

Deputies say when they approached Johnson, she began taking off her clothes and using vulgar language, Local10.com reports.

The iPad was not found in Johnson's possession, but she was arrested and charged with resisting an officer without violence.

Officers say she slapped a cop’s arm and yelled, “Don’t touch me, bitch!” according to The Smoking Gun.

It was when Johnson came to the Hallandale Beach Jail that officers say she began repeatedly removing her clothing, exposing her genitals, buttocks and breasts, and masturbating.

She also allegedly shook the cell door and offered to perform a sex act in exchange for her release, the Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.

When Johnson appeared before a judge on Wednesday morning, her alleged jailhouse behavior made quite the impression on Judge John Hurley, who refused to read aloud some of the allegations against her.

“File this under 'That's a doozy,’” Hurley said, according to NBC Miami.

The judge gave her $100 bond for the resisting arrest charge, but did not cite her for the alleged sex show in jail.

Though Johnson's arrest report says she is an employee at Tootsie's Cabaret, an attorney for the club told Local10.com she has never performed there.