Campbell: Well, everyone has food poisoning because Brad Richards served all the chicken before it was finished cooking. Brendan Shanahan just put a half-rack of ribs on top of a pile of dynamite. Alex Anthopoulos and George McPhee keep cackling evilly and high-fiving each other. And Charles Wang just sent Trevor Gillis to beat up your swimming pool.

Bettman: So in other words…

Campbell: Once again, you've thrown the worst party ever.

Bettman: Sigh.

Campbell: Well, at least the beer is still cold.

Bettman: True. Here you go, old friend. Take this drink I poured for you.

Everyone in attendance: BOOOOOOO!

Bettman: Why does that happen every time I try to hand somebody a cup?