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Another Celebrity Breakup is Breaking My Heart

6/15/2015

Ben and Jennifer? Say it ain’t so

Just recently, I read the rumor that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are getting a divorce. About 90 percent of the time these rumors turn out to be true. We knew about Gwyneth and Chris before they announced their separation—although they seem to have defined a cool, new non-acrimonious post-divorce relationship, even vacationing together, which just seems so Gwyneth, doesn’t it?—we knew about Miley and Liam, we knew about Demi and Ashton, too. The only rumored split I can think of recently that hasn’t transpired yet, is Brad and Angelina. My theory is that they don’t dare split. The inevitable gloating from people still pissed about Jen will keep them together. Six kids later (three of them from their pairing) and there will be people who say, “I knew they’d never make it.”

Color me sad about Ben and Jennifer, if it’s true. I don’t know these people but Jennifer seems like a devoted mom. I’m especially impressed that every time I see her with her kids, they’re dressed like normal kids, even a little mismatched, which makes me believe Jennifer’s a harried mom like most moms, too busy with mom stuff to dress her daughters like mini-fashion models. Apparently, Ben still has a gambling problem.

This is their public persona, and who knows how true it is. The book I’m working on now is about a hotel heiress who’s grown up in the public eye. She sometimes plays to the image she’s created, but I need to remember that she’s a private person too, not defined by how she’s perceived by the public and the press. They don’t really know who she is. Sometimes, she doesn’t know who she really is either.

Anyway, in my mind, Brad and Jen were a bad match. He wanted a family and she was booked for five movies in a row, her post-TV career taking off. They were at different stages in their lives. I’m happy to see Jen has finally moved on. Of course, it could have just been an instant animal lust that neither Brad nor Angie had the will or the morality to resist, but I like my version better.

This is probably why I’m a writer. I even make up stories about real people I don’t know.

If I had any sage wisdom to share, I’d be managing my own life a whole lot better, but if you have some spare time on your hands, I guess you could do worse than read my scrambled thoughts. That’s all I’m promising.