CBS Shuts Down Production on TWO AND A HALF MEN for Rest of Current Season

Well that’s one less evil the world has to deal with for the next few months. Following Charlie Sheen’s insane tirade earlier today against trolls, fools, and Two and a Half Men co-creator Chuck Lorre, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have shut down production on the remainder of the current season of the hit CBS “comedy.” Here’s what the two organizations had to say in a joint statement:

“Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season.”

I guess that’s what happens when you call your boss a “stupid, stupid little man.” Production was set to resume on Monday on the show following Sheen’s stint in rehab, from his own house naturally. It sounds like Rick Vaughn’s most definitely gone off the deep end. In his nearly twenty-minute long rambling to the Alex Jones Show radio program, the actor claims that he’s “addicted to winning” and calls Thomas Jefferson a pussy. Seriously. Hit the jump to check out some choice nuggets of wisdom from Sheen’s rant.

Here’s some quotes from Sheen’s appearance on the Alex Jones Show, via EW:

Regarding his boss, Chuck Lorre, Sheen had this to say:

“I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that this un-evolved mind cannot process. I’ve spent, I think, close to the last decade, I don’t know, effortlessly and magically converting your tin can into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write.”

What does Sheen have to say about his lady companions, you might ask?

“If I bring up these turds, these… losers, there’s no reason to then bring them back into the fold because I have real fame, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night. And I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home. And they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. Bring me a frickin’ challenge. It just ain’t there.”

As for his addiction to alcohol? He cured it himself. With his mind.

“I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it… with my mind… it’s all good guys. Quit panicking. No panic, no judgment… You can kill me but you do not have the right to judge me… I can’t use the word sober because that’s a term from those people, and I have cleansed myself. I have closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself from this ridiculous… It’s just the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning. You know? This bootleg cult arrogantly referred to as AA now supports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math!”

Finally, Sheen is very pleased with himself:

“I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second. I’m not perfect, and bitching and just delivering the goods at every fucking turn. Because look what I’m dealing with, man — I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets.”

Head over to EW to read some more quotes or to listen to the full audio.