This could either be a high flying thread of the century, or could go straight to the arrse hole, (I expect the latter!) however I thought that some arrsers may find the idea of using their minds to think of their own euphemisms appealing.

I could just 'google it' if I wanted a list of euphemisms, however I want more than that. I want some original 'comedy-you-can't-write' euphemisms from the sharp end of arrse.
I'll start off with one of my very own;