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Week 8 Recap or How The Sports Man Shocked The World

Normally I would review my weekend pics on Friday while making my predictions for the upcoming weekend. However, when you go 12-1, you don’t wait. That’s right, I said 12-1. I’m currently being treated for a broken arm suffered from patting myself on the back. It’s not just that I picked 12 out of 13 winners this weekend, it’s also the performances of so many players I accurately nailed on the head. Now, shall we begin…

Detroit 31- Dallas 30
I said both Calvin Johnson and Dez Bryant would try to top each other. Johnson set the NFL record for receiving yards in a regulation game with 329 yards. He also added a touchdown for good measure. Dez put up 72 yards of his own and added two touchdowns but was visibly upset at not being involved more. I was right on target when I said “Reggie Bush is too versatile has 100+ all-purpose yards along with a touchdown”. Bush totaled 122 yards and a score. That’s one for the Sports Man! Matt Stafford punched in a goal line TD with only 12 seconds left in the game to give Detroit the victory.

New York Giants 15- Philadelphia 7
Don’t look now but my Giants are making their run at the division. How sad is the NFC East that the statement is true? The G-Men do look better though and that starts with quarterback Eli Manning. Eli didn’t throw a pick in his one and that’s huge for him this season. New York used a balanced attack to move the ball aided by recently signed back Payton Hillis (20 rushes for 70 yards). The Giants couldn’t score a touchdown but the five field goals by Josh Brown were enough. The Eagles meanwhile are a total mess. Chip Kelly’s offense seems as lost as Frodo trying to return that friggin ring. Philly failed to score an offensive touchdown and lost Mike Vick to a hamstring injury. It’s very possible that rookie Matt Barkley will start this week. Does anyone sober still think Kelly will revolutionize the league?

Kansas City 23- Cleveland 17
Unless the Chiefs lose every game the rest of the season (highly unlikely) the will surpass my prediction of eight wins for the season. Alex Smith looked phenomenal as he completed 66% of his passes for 225 yards and two touchdowns. The scores went to fullback Anthony Sherman and wide receiver Dexter McCluster. Both were the first for each man. Jason Campbell looked like the solution to the Browns quarterback problem throwing for 293 yards and two touchdowns.

New England 27- Miami 17
I’m pretty sure somebody just said “Mike Wallace has been disappointing”. Oh yea, that was me. Well Wallace posted 3 catches on sunday for 41 yards. That’s two for the Sports Man! The Dolphins were actually up 17-3 at halftime. Surprising but what followed wasn’t. The Patriots out scored the ‘Fins 24-0 in the second half. Steven Ridley paced the running game with 14 carries for 79 yards and a touchdown. Tom Brady was…well…Tom Brady. Just under 60% completion and 116 yards. Brady completed a touchdown to Aaron Dobson who also contributed 4 catches for 60 yards. The Pats look like they’re on their on the way to another division title.

New Orleans 35- Buffalo 17
Ok, I’ll take a hit on this one. While I did pick the Saints to win I was way off on my Darren Sproles prediction. The back had 4 catches for zero yards and didn’t get a single carry. Those went to Pierre Thomas who rushed 14 times for 65 yards. Drew Brees was his usual self throwing for 332 yards and five touchdowns. Two of those went to Kenny Stills who posted 129 yards on three catches. Bills QB Thad Lewis was respectable with 234 passing yards and a touchdown while back Fred Jackson ran 15 times for 45 yards and punched in a score. So even though I was “slightly” off on Sproles I’ll consider it offsetting since I got the winning team right. My column my rules dammit!

San Francisco 42- Jacksonville 10
I thought ‘Frisco would pull away in the second half. Turns out they couldn’t wait that long. By halftime the 49ers were up 28-3. Colin Kaepernick put on a show for London with three touchdowns (2 rushing and 1 passing). The running game for San Fran was as dominating. Frank Gore ran 19 times for 71 yards and contributed two scores while Kendall Hunter rushed 9 times for 84 yards. The interesting part of this game was that the Jaguars ran fifteen more plays but gained eighty less yards. Sounds like a team that could use a little Tim Tebow help…you heard it here first.

Cincinnati 49- New York Jets 9
And now we come to my most finest moment. Let’s do a little recap. Some handsome genius stated very clearly “this game screams let down after last weeks big victory over New England. As quarterback Geno Smith goes so do the Jets and his pattern this season indicates a two turnover day. Bengals at home in this one as Andy Dalton and A.J. Green hook up for 120 yards and two touchdowns”. I can even have the court reporter read back what was said if you don’t believe me. Well let’s look at the numbers. Geno threw two interceptions which were both returned for touchdowns. A.J. Green had 115 catching yards. The Jets lost by 40 points. That’s three, four and five for the Sports Man!! The Bengals also had a sleeper contributor in Marvin Jones. Jones had 4 catches for 4 touchdowns. Andy Dalton threw for 325 yards and helped the Bengals out gain the Jets in total yards 402-240. it got so bad for the Jets that Chris Simms mad an appearance at quarterback with three passes on seven attempts for 17 yards. Look for the Jets to have a surprising win next week over the Saints based on their pattern this season.

Oakland 21- Pittsburgh 18
Hhhmm, I remember some brainiac saying “The Steelers don’t really have anyone on defense that can keep Terrell Pryor in check and he will use legs a lot in this one”. Well Pryor set an NFL record for a quarterback with a 93 yard touchdown run. That’s six for the Sports Man!! Darren McFadden was not to be out done by his signal caller as he contributed 24 rushes for 73 yards with two touchdowns. Pryor’s 106 total rushing yards was the second time he broke the 100 yard mark. The Steelers kept it close with a Le’Veon Bell late game touchdown and a two point conversion by Emmanuel Sanders. The ensuing onside kick attempt didn’t work out for the Steelers and the Raiders kept my perfect day alive.

Denver 45- Washington 21
Man, it’s like deja vu all over again. Didn’t some fortune teller say “The scoreboard operator will be busy as Manning throws for four touchdowns in this one”. Well Manning had, you guess it, four touchdowns against the Redskins. Make that seven for the Sports Man!! The Broncos were down early but scored the last 38 points of the game. Knowshon Moreno was as unstoppable as a runaway freight train (unless Denzel Washington showed up). He had 13 carries for 43 yards while catching 6 passes for 89 yards and a receiving touchdown. The ‘Skins tried hanging in there as Jordan Reed continued to shine with 8 catches for 90 yards and Alfred Morris kicked in his second straight game with 90+ rushing yards. Alas, it wasn’t enough as Robert Griffin III exited the game with an injury and the Broncos improved to 7-1.

Arizona 27- Atlanta 13
In the immortal words of Lord Vader, NOOOOOOOOO!!! The Falcons ruined my perfect day. They looked putrid on defense. Andre Ellington ran the ball 15 times for 154 yards. The Atlanta secondary make Carson Palmer look like Y.A. Title as he completed 13 of his 18 passes to seven different receivers for 172 yards. The Falcons looked just as bad on offense as quarterback Matt Ryan was their leading rusher with 13 yards. Harry Douglas was the only bright spot with his 12 catches for 121 yards. Ryan really did the team in with his four interceptions. Not only did he screw over his team he screwed me over as well. I suppose nobody’s perfect though…although i came so friggin close.

Green Bay 44- Minnesota 31
Make it eight for the Sports Man because I slam dunked it when I said “Packers put on a show for a national audience by scoring 40+”. Jordy Nelson showed the Pack will be just fine with the wide receiver injuries they’ve suffered by catching 7 passes for 123 yards. Two of those passes were for touchdowns. Jarrett Boykin’s also gave the Packers 5 catches for 89 yards and has been a huge fill in during the injuries. The Vikings made it interesting as Cordarrelle Patterson set an NFL record with a 109 yard kickoff return to start the game. Adrian Peterson was held in check however with only 60 yards on 13 carries. Green Bays running game kicked into high gear as rookie Eddie Lacy ran 29 times for 94 yards while James Starks returned to the lineup with 7 rushes for 57 yards. The Pack also kept my perfect record of guarantees alive!!

Seattle 14- St. Louis 9
The Monday night game of the week came down to the wire as it took a Seahawks goal line stand against Kellen Clemens to seal the win. I told you I had the kiss of death in fantasy and acquiring Marshawn Lynch would be bad for fantasy owners. Well Lynch carried only eight times for a season low 23 yards. I think most people figured the Seahawks would win big but Rams running back Zac Stacy kept them in this one with with 134 rushing yards on 26 attempts. He didn’t get help from Clemens though as Kellen threw two costly picks. His counterpart, Russell Wilson, was far more accurate. Wilson completed 10 of his 18 passes for 139 yards and threw two touchdowns. The Rams had a chance to steal this one but Greg Zuerlein missed a 50 yard field goal attempt late in the fourth causing the Rams to go for the touchdown at the end. The Seahawks, my preseason pick to be in the Super Bowl, improved to an NFC best 7-1.

So the final total comes to eight perfect player predictions. My father alwsy told me to accept victory with quiet dignity and grace. That’s pretty damn impressive though if I say so myself. So to hell with you all…I’m a genius, I can predict the future, Nostradamus can kiss my round ass!!! Yea, that sounds like quiet dignity and grace.