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Thursday, 24 July 2014

Louis van, what the Gaal?

It’s the end of an era at Old Trafford. When Manchester
United confirmed Patrice Evra’s transfer to Juventus on Monday, they officially
declared to the entire footballing community that they will, in fact, have a
left back next season.

If that wasn’t enough, they’ve brought in England’s fourth
choice left back and Spain’s eighteenth choice central mid-fielder for a paltry
60 million quid while Real Madrid have spent more (yes, more!) on World Cup
winner Toni Kroos and World Cup top scorer James Rodriguez, who we all know are
average at best.

There is optimism in the United camp about the new signings
reminiscent only of the kind of optimism that accompanied the arrival of
Belgian stalwart Maroune Fellaini last season. This optimism propelled him to a
mighty seventeen almost-goal-but-actually-zero tally that left United
almost-champions-maybe-top-four-no-well-how-about-Europe-not-even-that-screw-it-lets-get-a-new-shirt-sponsor
seventh in the league standings.

But, this year will be
different. This year will be their year. Louis van Gaal comes to Old Trafford
off the back of a World Cup campaign with the Netherlands that saw them fly
into the semi-finals and then let Ron Vlaar send Argentina into the final.

Vlaar magic aside, van Gaal was tactically brilliant at the
World Cup and United will be hoping he brings that sharp acumen to Manchester and
doesn’t play Ashley Young, Tom Cleverley and Danny Welbeck in the same team.
Given the decision to sell Evra and Rio Ferdinand, one wagers that acumen is in
action already.

Can he really bring glory days back to United? His record
would suggest he can. The current squad’s record would suggest he would have
been better off joining Southampton. But if there’s one thing van Gaal is known
for, it’s making bad players play mediocre. And that’s exactly what the Old
Trafford faithful has been pleading for from Tom Cleverley- please be mediocre.

There are, however, major gaps to fill. With Shinji Kagawa,
Juan Mata, Wayne Rooney and Adnan Januzaj all wanting to play in the same
position, one wagers a couple of those may have to warm the proverbial bench and
a couple may be played out of position. With Evra leaving, United have also now
lost their best winger and must rely on the combined expertise of Nani,
Valencia and Ashley Young- which has historically managed an average of 0.5
accurate crosses per game.

The most major of said gaps is now at the heart of what will
be a drastically different back line. Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand have left
for pastures anew. Phil Jones, Chris Smalling and Jonny Evans have collectively
ensured the retirement of United’s head physio Rob Swire and their current most
experienced centre half Michael Carrick is out with an ankle injury.

Rumour has it, though, that van Gaal has lined up key
signings in these areas. Mats Hummels, Angel Di Maria and Arturo Vidal are
strongly linked. There is also the contingency plan of buying Edinson Cavani
and (I’m guessing) keeping him on the bench to establish psychological
dominance over Chelsea and Manchester City by demonstrating that United too can
buy expensive players and ruin their careers by never playing them.

If the transfers (minus Cavani) go through, United may have a
playing eleven that challenges for the dizzying heights of fourth, maybe even
higher! Without the useless distraction of Champions League football, they can
now focus on what matters most- winning the Manchester derby.

It all comes down to these next few weeks. Partly because
that’s always a neat way to end an article, but mostly because David Moyes
arguably got the entire season wrong in these very weeks last year.

Calamitous dealings in the transfer market eventually saw the
coup of Fellaini to rapturous applause from the Everton faithful. Tom Cleverley
and Danny Welbeck were regular features on the MU Tour. And, to cap it all off,
Arsenal were spending money. It was, in summary, an absolute nightmare of a
month for United and Louis will be hoping for no encores.

With players leaving and transfers hanging, there seems to be
an Arsenal-like air about United that evokes an understandable sense of
trepidation. What should be the target, then? Top six? Top four? Title? Let’s
keep it realistic. Finish above Spurs.