Front row, corner seat couple found 'actually watching' the movie

Mumbai: In a rare occurrence, which can be seen only on children channels like Pogo and Cartoon Network, a college couple who bunked their lectures to watch an early morning show of the movie ‘Heartless’, actually watched it in spite of sitting alone on the corner seats of the entirely empty 3rd row from the screen.

“They were not even holding hands, and were totally engrossed in watching the movie,” confirmed a shocked employee at the multiplex, who had strategically placed himself in the 4th row middle seat in the virtually empty hall to get a glimpse of the couple in action.

The couple was even less active than this

It is a well known fact that ever since hotels have started demanding an identity card to rent a room or patrolling policemen suddenly started shining torchlight in cars, young college couples have flocked to movie theaters to get to know each other better.

Our reporter Dr. Tharki Jasus with his 8 years of experience of staying single in medical college and studying such couples, said, “Usually the boyfriend takes the girl out on days Vodafone and Loop Mobile offer a 1 plus 1 scheme. No sooner the lights go off after the national anthem, the heads of the couple which can be seen from the back seats usually disappear and can be visible only when the girl demands a popcorn bucket during the intermission.”

“I wonder what the reason would be in this particular case, but I’m not fully convinced as eyewitnesses did not report anything about their hands,” the reporter added.

The incident has shocked everyone and people are demanding action against the erring couple. The theater authorities, citing moral responsibility, forcefully referred the couple for a psychiatric evaluation to the nearby Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge Hospital, in the process, getting their 30% referral commission.

Since the “front row, corner” seats now have been maligned by the mysterious acts of this irresponsible couple, “normal” couples have demanded immediate corrective action from authorities so that they continue to patronize such theaters. These couples have demanded broad, reclining club seats (like in the last 2 rows) in the front 3-4 row, corner seats, so that the traditional activities can resume.