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17.7.15

17 Things That Really Piss Me Off

I'd like to first say that, contrary to popular belief, I am a NICE person! I may have resting bitch face, I may have a sharp tongue, and I may cut you out of my life if you break the cardinal rules of friendship, but all in all I'm actually lovely!
I am loyal, caring, helpful, kind and funny as fuck- ask my friends they'll agree (I hope). So please bear all this in mind whilst I get a little negative up in here.

Disclaimer: While everything I am about to write is true, they have been written with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek!

So here we go: THINGS THAT REALLY GET MY GOAT!!

1) Drivers that don't fucking indicate! I mean seriously how hard is it to flick that little switch to let other people know whether you are going straight ahead, or turning a corner! It's common courtesy, not to mention a pretty big part of safe driving practice! But by all means carry on breaking the law, and maybe one day your negligence will lead you to needing a lawyer...that's called karma!

2) People that stop dead in front of you when you are walking. Like PLEASE have some consideration for the other people around you. The Zombie apocalypse has not yet happened, you are not alone in this world.

3) People that walk side by side on narrow pavements. Rude, selfish and just plain annoying! I get it you want to walk alongside your friend/partner/whatever BUT do you know what I want? I want to not have to walk on the freaking ROAD! For the love of all that is holy just walk single file if the pavement is narrow!!

4) Anybody that ignores basic instructions that are there for their comfort and safety!! If it says don't leave luggage in the vestibule area and you hear "please stick your five large suitcases in the vestibule right in front of the exit/entrance instead of putting them in the rack built for that very purpose" then you sir/madam are a cunt!

5) People that ask you in the most patronising voice ever "so do you like your job?"- make no mistake that what these people (just the patronising ones) mean is "how could you possibly be happy in your job, it's so not what I would consider a real job. Are you some kind of uneducated simpleton?"

6) People that legitimately use the term "real job"! Sod off'

7) The "Real women have Real Bodies" thing! I don't know what to call it, is it a movement, and ethos, or the biggest crock of shit you've ever heard? I'm inclined to think it's the last one! Let me break it down for you...are you female? Do you have organs? Do you have a head? Is everything held together by a skeleton and muscle and skin?? If so, YOU ARE A REAL WOMAN! Are you slightly plump? A bit on the thin side? Fat, short, tall, athletic...blah, blah, blah? Yup, still a REAL WOMAN. So fuck you, everyone who has ever said "real women have real bodies" or any variation.

8) So called feminists that give the rest of us a bad name! Or the ones who look down on you if your actions and decisions are different to their own. Feminism to me means equality for BOTH sexes. It means that I should be able to make my own decisions, about my own life without any man, woman or militant group dictating how I or any other PERSON on this planet lives. If I want to wear a nice dress, a sky-skimming pair of heels, a a bright red lippy- I will! Because I am not doing it for men, I'm not doing it because the magazines (run by mysoginistic bastard men) told me to, I do it because it makes me feel fierce as fuck! And if a woman can't be fierce as fuck in 2015 then I fear there is no hope for the future.

9) Beyoncé- don't get it, nope, NEXT!

10) People that stop talking in the middle of a sentence! If you haven't decided what it is you actually want to say keep your mouth shut for a few more seconds. Obviously if you have a stammer or whatever you are exempt from this Goat-getting rant!

11) White Chocolate! It's just fat folks, there is literally next to no (if not just completely, no) cocoa in there. It should be against trading standards law for it to even be called chocolate.

12) People that think they can just rock up and stroke my hair! Like FUCK OFF! I don't walk up to you and start stroking you if I admire your skirt. I wouldn't runs my fingers across your lips if I noticed you were rocking Giambatista for MAC ( I mean I'd probably high five the shit out of you for being awesome, but I wouldn't touch your face) and I definitely wouldn't put my hands on your hair! Do you know how many dirt particles your hands pick up during the day? Do you know how when you constantly touch your own hair it can make it greasy? You do know all these things? Right, then why on earth do you think I'd be happy that you are running your little grease mitts through my fucking hair? I love it that my hair intrigues you, I get it that you just can't believe it's naturally this long and this thick...but in the future, tell me, don't touch me!

14) Those twats who follow you on Twitter, wait for you to follow back and then immediately unfollow! Stop being a twat. If this is how you built up your followers count then it's pretty false and pretty sad. Also, those automated DM's people send when you follow them? Fuck off with that bullshit.

15) Emails addressed to LoveandOAS! If you read my blog and want to get in touch please take a second to learn my name...it's literally all over this blog! In the same vein if I tell you my name is Amanda-Jaied, call me Amanda-Jaied not Amanda. It's like me calling you Step if your name is Stephanie.

16) People with no luggage who queue up for the wide access gates in train stations, when there are loads of available normal gates. What even is this? Are they really that lazy they can't walk the two feet to the left!

17) People who refuse to dress up for fancy dress parties! You are not cool, you are not being ironic you are just a boring twat!!

Hope you enjoyed my little list, and I'm sure you even agree with some of these. Why not sound off on some of the things that annoy you in the comments.

Much Love
AJ
xx

Disclaimer: this post contains some sponsored content but as always is all completely my own brand of tongue and cheek honesty.

Love this!!! And god your right on all counts especially the dm's being sent every time you follow some one like wtf?!? Also who the hell is stroking your hair I'm intrigued!! I may have a stroke when I see you in December!! Lol actually no I won't I'm scared!! Haha great post gorgeous!

Thank you!!! Automated DMs are likely to get someone unfollowed quick smart lol! And who isn't stroking my hair!? Stewards that come into the office, passengers on my trains and bloody ransoms in bars...it's a wonder I don't hit more people 😂. I'm so glad you liked it and thanks for your lovely comment! Xx

Loved this list! Agree with you on people who "forget" to. Indicate, really pisses me off! Especially when you are waiting at a junction & you could have went!! Grrrrr! Oh and I don't get the Beyoncé thing either!! Disagree with you on the white chocolate though ;) xx

I'm so sorry I was sure I'd replied to this! Thank you for your comment, I love it when I find like minded people. Funnily enough the white chocolate one has garnered the most controversy! I was expecting more heat off the Beyoncé thing lol. Xx

Yep yep yep nodding along to these. Especially all the ones relating to people who aren't spatially aware. Just look around you! Then you won't stop dead in my path/walk into me/tread on my toes. I also don't get Beyoncé in general. And errr who is stroking your hair?! Unacceptable.