As Time Flies....What Should I Do?

by Unknown
(Kissimmee, Florida)

I am so afraid of what I see, that the idea of this part of my life becoming a long term commitment just puts me in panic mode. My mother not only demands from me 24-7 but she is in a constant pursue of controlling my life. I am 60 years old and single, I don't go out because of the fear that she may die while I am having a night out with friends, well actually I don't have any friends because when I invite people over she starts talking about the past and things that happened to her when she was younger making me feel so embarrassed.

She wakes me up in the mornings even on my day off. She does not respect my privacy. Hovers over my shoulder. Follows me around the house... My friends like her, but just don't feel the need to cater to her desires. The two of us can't economically afford a place of our own, so we live with my daughter and her two year old son.

I have noticed that my mother does not want me giving the little boy too much attention and of course she does not like the fact that I work. Every day is a new illness, I have been to the hospital with my mother having false alarm panic attacks more times that I can remember.

She lays in bed acting as she is agonizing, but as soon as I mention that we are going out to the stores, she comes back to life and starts getting dressed.

She is in excellent health and does not do anything, and when I say anything I mean anything.

I do everything for her and I am exhausted. I can't stop crying I am feeling so trapped and tired and depressed and also I am so scared that she may die someday and I was mean or evil to her.

I am feeling so guilty and the funny part of all this is the fact that when I was a child, she was extremely physically abusive to me. She hit me so hard that she would leave marks on me.

I am just so confused and I don't know how much more pain do I need to have inflicted in me to proof to God that I am a good daughter. Did I mention that she took care of her parents and I have to take care of her?

That is how the cookie crumbles in her mind. I will never put my daughter through this torment, I can't wait for my grandson to be older so I can give my daughter the space and freedom she needs to be a healthy, stable woman.

I love my mother but I can't live with her anymore and I am so afraid of letting her go. She is all I have, but she tortures me on daily basis.

Comments for As Time Flies....What Should I Do?

A friend of mine came to visit, we haven't seen each other in years. We wanted to go out for dinner and a movie, my daughter had already planned to go out and she was taking her son with her, so I was going to leave my mom alone for two hours.

She started screaming and crying in front of my girlfriend and her son, stating that she did not want to be alone and that she wanted to go with me and my friend.

She demanded that I drop her at the pastor's house, so they could care for her while I was out in the town, having a good time. I canceled with my friend. I am crying while I am writing this. This is crazy.

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Abusive motherby: Anonymous

I care for my mother who has always been mentally and emotionally abusive. She doesn't see me as a human being but as a tool to get what she needs. She views herself better than me and always has.

I have tried telling her I am her daughter and not her slave but she refuses to "get it". My mother has always favored her sons and told me so many years ago.

I was working full time and she had a paid caregiver during the day. Recently my department at work was laid off and I am stuck at home with her and no paid caregiver. I cant stand it anymore.

If I walk in her room she interrupts anything I say and starts telling me what to do. If I am leaving to run errands she suddenly has a crisis and needs to come first.

She loves to threaten me with calling my brother to "tell on me" if she doesn't get her way.

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Burnt to Ashesby: elena

You poor darling,your stuck in an emotional trap I too used to feel like you but as time went on and my mothers selfish attitude eroded my emotions and love towards her, it then became important to understand why my emotions had become so cold towards her.

So by reading about narcissist personality that enlightened me on many of mums manipulative methods of control.

Also I went on the internet desperately looking for mental coping methods and I found a helpful method called "tapping"They show several techniques on you tube.

I have been using this for the past few weeks and I"m sure that it is working to help me cope emotionally ,I do this when I go to bed and it really makes me tired and settled.

I also feel more centered.No matter what just remember that you are good person and you should never feel guilty for giving time to your daughter and grandson good luck and blessings to you.