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Thursday, May 15, 2014

Before You Can Be a Wife or Husband, You MUST be Qualified!

This is a post by one of my blogger buddies on marriage. I really enjoyed reading it and figured i should share it here:

Proverbs 18:22

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord”

There is much more required to be a wife than merely been a woman. Every woman is not a wife, hence the scripture above. “I need a man who will love and protect me”, “I want a woman who will be my ride or die, who has my back always”, and “I don’t think marriage life is cut out for me”. Any of these or something along those lines rings a bell? Yes we are all looking for these so called great relationships but ask yourself what is the ultimate that you want to achieve from all this. Do you just want to cohabit, do you want a fling for just a moment or do you want more i.e. love, marriage, and a house together, children, the whole package? We all know marriage is not for everyone for a variety of reasons. Bottom line is marriage is only for the ready just like a relationship is! My mum recently told me “Don’t just date for boyfriend/girlfriend but date for husband/wife”. Look at dating as an internship, a relationship as a part time job and a marriage a full time job. Give benefits to full-timers! Commit to someone who is first to give and last to receive its how you know they are selfless. And gents a worthy woman of substance won’t come easy so be prepared to put in the work. Women have a hard enough time picking out shoes, let alone a man. As the man you are the leader, so lead her!

Proverbs 12:4 says “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in

his bones”. You can’t buy or learn or force or formulate been a wife or a husband. A good wife is a diamond you have to mine. Many men try to make wives out of any woman they pick up like creating a jewel from a common rock, its impossible! The criteria is specific, a truly good woman is a wife before she is already married! (Get that? didn’t think so, so carry on reading). She is a person of both strength and vulnerability. Refined and fragile, strong and stable. No book or bridal shower can instil this in her. Gentlemen, a woman’s worth is not known in a moment, but it will show mainly in a crisis. It is then that a man will know if she is authentic or fraudulent. To be able to do this she has to realise her worth on her own too, no one can tell her that.

“A husband should be to the marriage what Christ is to the church- a provider” T D Jakes. There is this idea of independency going on around these days in this 21st century. The attitude that, “I can do everything on my own”, “I don’t need a man”, “I’m a superwoman” going on amongst us ladies. Don’t get me wrong ladies I’m not saying don’t go out there and make money. No by all means go get your own and make it happen but when it comes to your relationship or marriage let your man take care of you, just sit there and be a woman, let him feel like he has provided too especially even if you make more money than him. Know the difference between contributing and leading. There’s nothing that crushes a man’s spirit like feeling he is not providing for you. He will feel worthless and ask himself why he is even in your life so don’t let him doubt his status in your life and his manhood. The Bible states woman is there to be by his side to assist him like the saying goes “behind every great man is a woman”. Remember you came out of man ribs so women where created to be the support to the man so do that, nothing less or more. Your man can’t treat you like a queen if you busy trying to be the king!

All in all don’t apply for this if you cant live up to the description. That way life is simpler there won’t be any complications and you will avoid a lot of complications. There’s always room for improvement for everyone so if you know you are not there yet don’t force yourself because everyone is doing it, culture says so or your age etc. Make sure you are up for that, been with someone else sharing your life requires time and effort so make sure you’re ready. People will ask “why are you single” as if been single is some kind of disease. Being single doesn’t mean you’re weak it means you’re strong enough to wait for what you really deserve. It’s the thing you do when you’re establishing/finding yourself and/or when you haven’t yet met someone who meets your standards. Give yourself a challenge tell yourself that you want your marriage to be the only marriage you will ever have and make sure it is with someone who is not only going to be your partner but also your best friend and is willing to walk that long journey with you always.