A Blog: In order to have the rainbow, ​​you must first weather the storm

She remembered the first time she saw his anger. The words rushed out of his mouth fast and furiously with a tone thick with a venom and rage disproportionate to the event which had preceded it. She recalled the way he seethed at her and how his body shook with a fury so solid it was palpable. She recoiled physically, from the way he hurled insults at her and demeaned her. The words stung her psyche and soul like a poisonous dart. Each vicious word that he spewed at her rapid fire, impaled her confidence and her self-esteem. Each time he peppered her with insults and abusive names she felt her sense of self...deflating. He diminished her capacity to be independent with his constant criticism. Eventually, the angry man completely took control of all that was within his reach. His power, at home, became absolute. She defended herself, their children, her position all in effort to stifle the anger, or at least minimize it. Her attempts seldom, if ever worked, and often only served to fan the flames of his disproportionate rage. She also was an expert at camouflage. The people around them, except for a sacred few, were unaware of the turmoil within their marriage. She painted a facade to outsiders that her life was fine. While internally, she was only a few steps away, at any given time, one more vicious blow-out away, from a divorce. Initially, in the beginning of the relationship she tried hard to pretend that the hurtful and caustic words didn't matter. It wasn't until she bore multiple scars from the verbal abuse that she knew they were the marks of a very angry man. He had marked her soul indefinitely, by an anger so pervasive it had not only ended their marriage, but made her question her worth and wonder if she'd ever truly find happiness with any other person.