This page is a collection of quotations from the era of the eleventh official incarnation of The Doctor from the BBC science fiction television programme Doctor Who, during which the role of the Eleventh Doctor was played by Matt Smith.

There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them, this is an opportunity. Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!

I'm not running away from things, I am running to them. Before they flare and fade forever.

[The Doctor regenerates, the energy blowing out the windows of the TARDIS and setting the console room ablaze. The Doctor screams as his eleventh incarnation emerges. He stumbles, stunned, then starts taking stock of his new body]

The Doctor: Carrots?! Are you insane?! No, wait, hang on. I know what I need. [Searching the fridge] I need... I need... I need... [pulls out a box of fish fingers] fish fingers [takes out a carton of custard] and custard!

The Doctor: So what about your mum and dad, then? Are they upstairs? I thought we'd have woken them by now.

Amelia: I don't have a mum and dad, just an aunt.

The Doctor: I don't even have an aunt.

Amelia: You're lucky.

The Doctor: I know. [An awkward pause] So your aunt, where's she?

Amelia: She's out.

The Doctor: Has she left you all alone?!

Amelia: I'm not scared!

The Doctor: Of course you're not! You're not scared of anything! Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of the box, man eats fish custard, and look at you! Just sitting there! So you know what I think?

Amelia: [shrugging] What?

The Doctor: Must be one hell of a scary crack in your wall.

[The Doctor finds out that he's been gone for twelve years, when he was told he was gone for six months. He turns to Amy.]

The Doctor: Why did you say six months?

Amy: Well, why did you say five minutes?!

[The Doctor realizes exactly who this woman is: A much older Amelia Pond]

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor; I'm worse than everybody's aunt! [catches himself] And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

The Doctor: The Doctor will see you now.

[A giant eyeball pops out of the Atraxi spaceship to look at the Doctor, then scans him]

Atraxi: You are not of this world.

The Doctor: No, but I've put a lot of work into it. [looking at different ties he might wear, showing them to the Atraxi eyeball] Hmm, I dunno... what do you think?

Atraxi: Is this world important?

The Doctor: "Important?" What's that mean, "important?" Six billion people live here; is that important? And here's a better question: is this world a threat to the Atraxi? [pause] Well, come on, you're monitoring the whole planet. Is this world a threat?

[The eye scans through images of the human race.]

Atraxi: No.

The Doctor: Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?

Poem Girl: A horse and a man, above, below,
One has a plan, but both must go,
Mile after mile, above, beneath,
One has a smile and one has teeth,
Though the man above might say hello,
Expect no love from the Beast Below.

Amy: One little girl crying, so?

The Doctor: Crying silently. I mean, children cry because they want attention, because they're hurt or afraid. But when they cry silently, it's because they just can't stop. Any parent knows that.

Amy: Are you a parent?

The Doctor: Look, three options: One, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years; Two, I kill everyone on this ship; Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can... and then I find a new name, because I won't be "The Doctor" anymore.

Liz Ten: There must be something we can do, some other way--

The Doctor: Nobody talk to me; Nobody human has anything to say to me today!

Amy: The Star Whale didn't come like a miracle all those years ago, it volunteered. You didn't have to trap it or torture it. That was all just you. It came because it couldn't stand to watch your children cry. What if you were really old and really kind and alone-- your whole race dead, no future... What could you do then? If you were that old and that kind, and the very last of your kind, you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry.

Amy: Have you ever run away from something because you were scared, or not ready, or just... just because you could?

The Doctor: Once. A long time ago.

Amy: What happened?

The Doctor: [gestures to himself] Hello!

Amy [voiceover]: In bed above, we're deep asleep,
While greater love lies further deep.
This dream must end, the world must know,
We all depend on the beast below.

The Doctor: [He accentuates each word by hitting the Dalek each time] You—are—my—enemy! And I am yours! You are everything I despise. The worst thing in all creation. I've defeated you. Time and time again, I've defeated you. I sent you back into the Void. I saved the whole of reality from you. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

[He kicks the Dalek backwards]

Dalek: [long pause, then] Correct.

Amy: So what do we do? Is this what we do now? Chase after them?

The Doctor: This is what I do, yeah, and it's dangerous, so you wait here.

Amy: So I've got to stay safe down here... in the middle of the London Blitz?!

The Doctor: Safest it gets around me.

[He closes the door and the TARDIS disappears, leaving Amy and Churchill.]

Amy: Well, what does he expect us to do now?

Churchill: KBO, of course.

Amy: What?

Churchill: Keep Buggering On.

The Doctor: The question is, what do we do now? Either you turn off your clever machine or I'll blow you and you new paradigm into eternity.

Nobody move; everybody, stay exactly where you are. Bishop, I am truly sorry, I've made a mistake, and we're all in terrible danger.

(24 April 2010)

Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap.

[The Doctor and Amy are standing over an exhibit in a museum, a futuristic black box]

The Doctor: The writing... the graffiti: Old High Gallifreyan. The lost language of the Time Lords. There were days, there were many days, where these words could burn stars, raise up empires, and topple gods.

River: Okay, I've mapped the probability vectors, done a fold back on the temporal isometry, charted the ship to its destination and... [presses a button, the cloister bell clangs] parked us right alongside.

The Doctor: Parked us? But we haven't landed!

River: Of course we've landed. I just landed her.

The Doctor: But it didn't make the noise.

River: What noise?

The Doctor: You know, the... [imitates the TARDIS materialization sound]

River: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.

The Doctor: Yes, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

The Doctor: A Weeping Angel, Amy, is the deadliest, most powerful, most malevolent life form evolution has ever produced, and right now one of them is trapped inside that wreckage and I'm supposed to climb in after it with a screwdriver and a torch, and assuming I survive the radiation long enough and assuming the whole ship doesn't explode in my face, do something incredibly clever which I haven't actually thought of yet. That's my day, that's what I'm up to. Any questions?

Amy: Is River Song your wife?

The Doctor: [about the Weeping Angel in the Byzantium vault] Where does it comes from?

River: Pulled from the ruins of Razbahan at the end of the last century. It's been in private hands ever since. Dormant, all that time.

The Doctor: There's a difference between dormant and patient.

Amy: What do you mean it's a statue when you see it?

River: The Weepings Angels can only move if they're unseen. So legend has it.

The Doctor: No, it's not a legend, it's a quantum lock. In the sight of any living being, the Angels literaly cease to exist. They're just stone: the ultimate defense mechanism.

The Doctor: Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap. If you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap.

Angel Bob: The Angels are feasting, sir. Soon we will be able to absorb enough power to consume this vessel, this world, and all the stars and worlds beyond.

The Doctor: Yeah, but we've got comfy chairs. Did I mention?

Angel Bob: We have no need of comfy chairs.

The Doctor: [amused] I made him say "comfy chairs".

Father Octavian: Our mission is to make this wreckage safe and neutralize the Angels. Until that is achieved—

River: [strained] Father Octavian, when the Doctor's in the room, your one and only 'mission' is to keep him alive long enough to get everyone else home! And trust me, it's not easy! Now if he's dead back there, I'll never forgive myself. And if he's alive, I'll never forgive him. [Pause] And Doctor, you're standing right behind me, aren't you?

[Rory is at his stag party; music is playing; there is a paper cake in the middle of the pub. The men cheer for the "beautiful woman" to come out of the cake, however to their surprise the Doctor pops out instead. Rory shakes his head as he realizes who it is.]

The Doctor: Rory! [feedback whines; music stops] That's a relief! I thought I had burst out of the wrong cake. Again. That reminds me, there's a girl standing outside in a bikini. Can someone let her in, give her a jumper? Lucy. Lovely girl. [whispers] Diabetic. [everyone continues staring at him] Now then, Rory, we need to talk about your fiancee. [Rory smiles] She tried to kiss me. [Crowd draws breath; Rory is visibly shocked] Tell you what though, you're a lucky man; she's a great kisser! [Glass smashes; Doctor realizes what he just said, and looks visibly embarrassed and ashamed] Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine.

Rory: After what happened with Prisoner Zero, I've been reading up on all the latest scientific theories. FTL travel, parallel universes...

The Doctor: I like the bit when someone says "It's bigger on the inside!" I always look forward to that. [The Doctor looks annoyed, then grins]

[The Doctor looks in a mirror]

The Doctor: Hello, handsome.

Calvierri Girls: Who are you?

[Looks at the mirror and then at the girls, realizing that they cast no reflection]

The Doctor: How are you doing that? I am loving it! You're like Houdini, only five slightly scary girls. And he was shorter... will be shorter. I'm rambling.

Calvierri Girls (all): I'll ask you again, signore: who are you?

The Doctor: Why don't you check this out? [Shows them a card with a picture of the First Doctor; long pause as the girls look confused; he looks at the card and remembers that he has left the psychic paper with Rory] Library card, of course! It's with... he's... [gestures in front of his face to imitate Rory's long nose] ...I need a spare. Pale, creepy girls who don't like sunlight... and can't be seen... ah, am I thinking what I think I'm thinking? But the city, why shut down the city?

The Doctor: [camp] Ooh! [They bare long fangs and approach the Doctor; he goes to the stairs, then spins around toward them] Tell me the whole plan! [The girls hiss] One day that'll work. [He backs away] Listen, I would love to stay here. This whole thing... I'm thrilled! Oh, this is Christmas!

Amy: Hey, look at this. I got my spaceship, I got my boys... my work here is done. [struts into the TARDIS, head held high]

Rory: [scoffs] Uh, we are not her "boys."

The Doctor: Yeah, we are.

Rory: [pause] Yeah, we are.

[As the Doctor is about to enter the TARDIS, everything falls silent; there is no sound from anything. Looks back, and is stunned to see every living thing in the Venetian marketplace has mysteriously disappeared].

The Doctor: Rory, listen to that.

Rory: Er, what? All I can hear is... silence.

The Doctor: Exactly.

[The Doctor and Rory step back into the TARDIS, the Doctor visibly unnerved]

Signora Rosanna Calvierri: [voice-over] There were cracks. Through some we saw silence and the end of all things...

The Dream Lord: Friends? Is that the right word for the people you acquire? Friends are people you stay in touch with. Your friends never see you again once they've grown up. The old man prefers the company of the young, does he not?

The Doctor: There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!

The Doctor: Bringing things to order, the first meeting of the representatives of the human race and homo reptilia is now in session. [laughs] Never said that before. That's fab.

The Doctor: [Urgently] Keep him in your mind. If you forget him, you'll lose him forever.

Amy: [Sobbing] Back at the Byzantium... I still remember the clerics, because I'm a time traveller now, you said —

The Doctor: No. They weren't part of your world. This is different, this is your own history changing!

Amy: Tell me it's going to be okay! You have to make it okay!

The Doctor: It's going be hard, but you can do it, Amy! Tell me about Rory, eh? Fantastic Rory! Funny Rory! Gorgeous Rory! Amy, listen to me. Do exactly as I say. Amy, please keep concentrating. You can do this!

Amy: I can't!

The Doctor: You can! You can do it. I can't help you unless you do it, Come on, you can still save his memory. Come on, Amy! [Flashbacks] Please, come on, Amy, come on. Amy, please. Don't let anything distract you! [Flashbacks] Remember Rory. Keep remembering. Rory's only alive in your memory. You must keep hold of him. Don't let anything distract you. Rory still lives in your mind.

[The TARDIS suddenly shudders, knocking them to the ground and breaking her concentration]

We're so lucky we're still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there! Lighter blue. And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the winds swirling through the air. And there shining, burning, bursting through, the stars! Can you see how they roar their light? Everywhere we look, complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes!

(5 June 2010)

Amy: Please tell me you have a plan.

The Doctor: No, I have a thing. It's like a plan, but with more greatness.

Vincent: But you’re not armed!

The Doctor: I am!

Vincent: What with?

The Doctor: Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted.

Vincent: Hold my hand, Doctor. Try to see what I see. We're so lucky we're still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there! Lighter blue. [the starscape slowly transforms intoThe Starry Night] And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the winds swirling through the air. And there shining, burning, bursting through, the stars! Can you see how they roar their light? Everywhere we look, the complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.

Doctor: I’ve seen many things, my friend, but you’re right: nothing quite as wonderful as the things you see.

[The Doctor has taken Vincent forward in time to the van Gogh exhibition in Musée d'Orsay, 2010]

The Doctor: And today is another cracker if I may say so. [steering Dr Black into Vincent's vicinity] But I just wondered between you and me in 100 words where do you think Van Gogh rates in the history of art?

Dr Black: Well... big question, but to me, van Gogh is the finest painter of them all; certainly the most popular great painter of all time: The most beloved; his command of colour; the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world... no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind that strange wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world’s greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived.

[Vincent, already in shock, starts breaking down in tears]

Doctor: Oh, Vincent, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, is it too much?

Vincent: No, they are tears of joy! Thank you sir, thank you! [kisses Dr Black's cheeks in gratitude] Sorry about the beard.

The Doctor: The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.

The Doctor: Paris in the 18th century. No, hang on, that's not recent is it? 17th? No no, 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing it in the right order.

Craig: Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?

The Doctor: They never really stop.

Craig: If you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout. [winks]

The Doctor: [winks back, pause] Why would I want that?

Craig: Well, in case you want to bring someone over? Like a girlfriend, or... [looks at the Doctor's clothes] boyfriend?

The Doctor: Oh! Oh, yes, yes, I will. I will shout, something like... "I was not expecting this!"

[After the Doctor wins a football match]

Shaun: You are so on the team! We've got the cup next week and we are going to annihilate them!

The Doctor: [sternly] Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm. [Shaun stares back at the Doctor] And you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

The cracks in time are the work of the Doctor! It is confirmed! … You will be prevented!

The TARDIS is exploding right now and I'm the only one who can stop it!

[After hearing the Dalek voices being transmitted]

Amy: Daleks. Those are Daleks.

River: Daleks, Doctor.

The Doctor: Yes. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Dalek fleet. A bit over twelve thousand battle ships all armed to the teeth. Ahaah! But we've got surprise on our side! They'll never expect three people to attack twelve thousand battle ships 'cause we'd be killed instantly, so it would be a very short surprise. Forget surprise. [hits his head with his sonic screwdriver]

[A Cyber-arm fires at the Doctor and Amy, who retreat behind the Pandorica]

Amy: What was that?!

The Doctor: Okay, need a proper look. Gotta draw its fire, give it a target.

Amy: How?

Doctor: You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

Amy: Yes...?

The Doctor: Sorry. [runs out from behind the Pandorica] LOOK AT ME, I'M A TARGET!

The Doctor: Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe! But bad news, everyone, [jumps up from inside Stonehenge] 'cause guess who! Ha! Listen, you lot! You're all whizzing about; it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute, because I! AM! TALKING![The ships stop instantly] Now, the question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?" Answer: I do. Next question: Who's coming to take it from me? [Pause] Come on! Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else, I don't have anything to lose! So, if you're sitting up there in your silly, little spaceship with all your silly, little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, and then, do the smart thing: Let somebody else try first. [The battleships all retreat to a much higher orbit. To Rory] That should keep them squabbling for half an hour.

The Doctor: The universe is big, it's vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that's the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me.

The Doctor: Plastic Romans. Duplicates, driven by the Nestene Consciousness, eh? Deep cover, but what for? What are you doing? [looking to the Pandorica] What's in there, eh? What's coming out?

Auton Roman: The Pandorica is ready.

The Doctor: What, you mean it's open?

Supreme Dalek: You have been scanned... assessed... understood, Doctor.

[Three Daleks materialize]

The Doctor: Scanned? Scanned by what, a box?

[Three Cybermen materialize]

Cyberman: Your limits and capacities have been extrapolated.

[A group of Judoon and Sontarans materialize]

Sontaran Commander Stark: The Pandorica is ready.

The Doctor: Ready for what?

Supreme Dalek: Ready for you.

[...]

[The Romans drag the Doctor toward and restrain him inside the Pandorica as a crowd of his enemies watch]

The Doctor: Now, you lot working together. An alliance... How is that possible?

Supreme Dalek: The cracks in the skin of the universe.

Sontaran Commander Stark: All of reality is threatened.

Cyberman: All universes will be deleted.

The Doctor: What? And you've come to me for help?

Sontaran Commander Stark: No! We will save the universe - from you!

The Doctor: From me?

Cyberman: All projections correlate. All evidence concurs. The Doctor will destroy the universe.

The Doctor: No. No. No, you've got it wrong.

Cyberman: The Pandorica was constructed to ensure the safety of the Alliance.

Supreme Dalek: A scenario was devised from the memories of your companion.

Sontaran Commander Stark: A trap the Doctor could not resist.

Supreme Dalek: The cracks in time are the work of the Doctor! It is confirmed!

The Doctor: No! No! No, not me! The TARDIS! And I'm not in the TARDIS, am I?

Supreme Dalek: Only the Doctor can pilot the TARDIS.

The Doctor: Please! Listen to me!

Supreme Dalek: You will be prevented!

The Doctor: [close to tears] Total event collapse! Every sun will supernova at every moment in history! The whole universe will never have existed! Please listen to me!

Cyberman: [clenches fist] Seal the Pandorica.

The Doctor: No! Please listen to me! The TARDIS is exploding right now and I'm the only one who can stop it! Listen to me! [his voice is silenced as the Pandorica closes]

The Doctor: Oh. Ok. I escaped, then. Brilliant. I love it when I do that. [Checks legs] Legs, yes. [Checks neck] Bow tie...cool. [Checks head. Disappointed] I can buy a fez.

The Doctor:[speaking to 7-year-old Amelia, sleeping in her bed, as his timeline unravels] That's funny. I thought if you could hear me I could hang on somehow. Silly me. Silly old Doctor. When you wake up, you'll have a mum and dad, and you won't even remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. But that's OK. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Cause it was, you know. It was the best. A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well, I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back. Oh, that box. Amy, you'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient and the bluest blue ever. And the times we had, eh? Would've had... Never had. In your dreams, they'll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond, and the days that never came. The cracks are closing, but they can't close properly until I'm on the other side. I don't belong here anymore. I think I'll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye-bye, Pond.

Amy: There's someone missing. Someone important, someone so, so important. Sorry everyone, but when I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend, the Raggedy Doctor, my Raggedy Doctor. But he wasn't imaginary, he was real. [shouting] I remember you! I remember! I brought the others back; I can bring you home too! Raggedy man, I remember you, and you are late for my wedding![As Amy remembers, the Doctor and the TARDIS starts to materialise in the room] I found you. I found you in words just like you knew I would. That's why you told me the story, the brand new, ancient blue box. Oh clever, very clever.

The Doctor: Er, yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that. [steps out of the TARDIS wearing a tuxedo] How lucky I happen to be wearing this old thing. Hello, everyone! I'm Amy's imaginary friend! But I came anyway.

Amy: You absolutely, definitely may kiss the bride—

The Doctor: Amelia, from now on, I shall be leaving the... kissing duties to the brand new... Mr. Pond!

The Doctor: I'm being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all?

River Song: Couldn't you just slap him sometimes?

Nixon: But... who are they and... what is that box?

The Doctor: It’s a police box. Can't you read? I'm your new undercover agent on loan from Scotland Yard. Codename: The Doctor. These are my top operatives: [indicates Amy, Rory, and River in turn] The Legs, The Nose, and Mrs. Robinson.

River: I hate you.

The Doctor: No, you don't.

The Doctor: I'm going to need a SWAT team ready to mobilise, street-level maps covering all of Florida, a pot of coffee, twelve Jammie Dodgers, and a fez.

Canton: Get him his maps.

The Doctor: Dr. Song, you've got that face on again.

River: What face?

The Doctor: The he's-hot-when-he's-clever face.

River: This is my normal face.

The Doctor: Yes, it is.

River: Oh, shut up!

The Doctor: Not a chance.

The Doctor: Be careful!

River: Careful. Tried that once. Ever so dull.

The Doctor: Shout if you get in trouble.

River: Don’t worry, I’m quite the screamer. [Climbs into the tunnel.] Now there's a spoiler for you!

The Doctor: Oh, this is my friend River. Nice hair, clever, and has her own gun. And unlike me, she really doesn't mind shooting people. I shouldn't like that. Kinda do, a bit.

River: Thank you, sweetie.

The Doctor: I know you're team players and everything, but she'll definitely kill the first three of you.

River: Oh, the first seven, easy.

The Doctor: Seven, really?

River: Oh, eight for you, honey.

The Doctor: Stop it!

River: Make me!

The Doctor: Oh, maybe I will!

Amy: [tied to a chair] Is this really important flirting? 'Cause I feel like I should be higher on the list right now!

The Doctor: Guys? Sorry, but you're way out of time. Now, come on, a bit of history for you. Aren't you proud, 'cause you helped! Do you know how many people are watching this live on the telly? Half a billion and that's nothing, because the human race will spread out among the stars. You just watch them fly. Billions and billions of them for billions and billions of years and every single one of them, at some point in their lives, will look back at this man taking that very first step and they will never ever forget it. Oh, but they'll forget this bit. [on the phone] Ready?

Canton: Ready. [presses Amy's phone to a transmitter, which activates a receiver in the lunar module]

[The transmission is interrupted by Canton's previous recording of a Silent]

Silent: [repeatedly] You should kill us all on sight.

The Doctor: [overlaying shots of humanity rising up against the Silence] You've given the order for your own execution and the whole planet just heard you.

Neil Armstrong: ...one giant leap for mankind.

The Doctor: And one whacking great kick up the backside for the Silence! You just raised an army against yourself! And now, for a thousand generations, you'll be ordering them to destroy you every day. How fast can you run? Because today's the day the human race throw you off their planet. They won't even know they're doing it. I think, quite possibly, the word you're looking for right now is "Oops". Run! Guys, I mean us! Run!

The Doctor: Don't let them build to full power!

River Song: I know! There's a reason why I'm shooting, honey! What are you doing?

The Doctor: Safe? No! Of course you're not safe! There's about a billion other things out there just waiting to burn your whole world, but if you want to pretend you're safe just so you can sleep at night, then, OK, you're safe. But you're not really.

President Nixon: This person you want to marry. Black?

Canton: Yes...

President Nixon: I know what people think of me. But perhaps I'm a little more liberal...

Canton: [interrupting] ...he is.

President Nixon: [after a long pause] I think the moon is far enough for now; don't you, Mr Delaware?

Okay, groovy. So you're just not pirates today — we've managed to bag us a ship with a demon popping in. Very efficient. I mean, if something's going to kill you, it's nice that it drops you a note to remind you.

(7 May 2011)

Captain Avery: She can smell the blood on your skin. She's marked you for death.

Rory: She?

Captain Avery: A demon, out there in the ocean.

The Doctor: Okay, groovy. So you're just not pirates today — we've managed to bag us a ship with a demon popping in. Very efficient. I mean, if something's going to kill you, it's nice that it drops you a note to remind you.

The Doctor: [referring to the Siren] OK, so just like a shark in a dress and singing and green. A green singing shark in an evening gown!

The Doctor: No, you're not! You're a bitey mad lady! The TARDIS is up and downy stuff in a big blue box!

Idris: Yes, that's me: a Type 40 TARDIS. I was already a museum piece when you were young, and the first time you touched my console, you said—

The Doctor: [interrupting] I said you were the most beautiful thing I had ever known.

Idris: Then you stole me. And I stole you.

The Doctor: I borrowed you.

Idris: Borrowing implies the eventual intention to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?

The Doctor: You're the TARDIS?

Idris: Yes.

The Doctor: My TARDIS?!

Idris: My Doctor! Oh... We have now reached the point of the conversation where you open the lock. [The Doctor unlocks the cage with his Sonic Screwdriver. Idris steps out in front of him] Are all people like this?

The Doctor: Like what?

Idris: So much bigger on the inside. I'm... Oh, what is that word?! It's so... big! So complicated. It's so sad...

The Doctor: Uh, sorry, do you have a name?

Idris: Seven hundred years, finally he asks!

The Doctor: But what do I call you?

Idris: I think you call me... "Sexy."

The Doctor: [alarmed] Only when we're alone!

Idris: We are alone.

The Doctor: Ah. [smiles] Come on then, Sexy.

Idris: Bond the tube directly into the Tachyon Diverter...

The Doctor: Yes, yes; I have actually rebuilt a TARDIS before, you know. I know what I'm doing!

Idris: You're like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions.

The Doctor: I always read the instructions!

Idris: There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?

The Doctor: That's not instructions!

Idris: There's an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?

The Doctor: "Pull to open".

Idris: Yes, and what do you do?

The Doctor: I push!

Idris: Every single time, seven hundred years. Police box doors open out the way.

The Doctor: I think I have earned the right to open my front doors any way I want.

Idris: Your front doors? Do you have any idea how childish that sounds?

The Doctor: [growls] You are not my mother!

Idris: And you are not my child.

The Doctor: You know, since we're talking with mouths, not really an opportunity that comes along very often, I just wanna say, you know, you have never been very reliable!

The Doctor: I've got to get to that cockerel before all hell breaks loose! [pauses, grins excitedly] I never thought I'd have to say that again!

Amy: What are all these harnesses for?

Rory: Ah, the "Almost People"?

Amy: Are they prisoners, or meditating, or what?

The Doctor: At the moment they fall under the "or what" category.

Loudspeaker: Halt, and remain calm!

[pause]

The Doctor: Well, we've halted. How are we all doing on the calm front?

Jimmy: This is insane. We're fighting ourselves.

The Doctor: Yes, it's insane. And it's about to get even more insanerer. Is that a word? Show yourself! Right now!

Amy: Doctor! We are trapped in here and Rory's out there with them. Hello! We can't get to the TARDIS and we can't even leave the island.

[A voice identical to the Doctor's is heard from across the room]

"The Doctor"'s voice: Correct in every respect, Pond. It's frightening. Unexpected. Frankly, a total utter splattering mess on the carpet. [a Ganger copy of the Doctor steps out of the shadows - identically clothed, but with the gelid, half-finished face of the recently-formed Flesh] But I am certain — one hundred percent certain — that we can work this out. Trust me. [straightens his bow tie] I'm the Doctor.

The Doctor (Ganger): [imitating the First Doctor] One day we should come back, yes one day... Ahhh! Ahhh! Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.

The Doctor: The Flesh is struggling to cope with our past regenerations. Hold on.

The Doctor (Ganger): [in the voice of the Fourth Doctor] Would you like a jelly baby? Why? Why? Why?!

The Doctor: Why? Why what?

The Doctor (Ganger): [in the voice of the Tenth Doctor] Hello, I'm the Doctor. [back to normal voice, but terrified] No! Let it go! We've, we've moved on!

The Doctor: Listen, hold on, hold on. You can stabilise.

The Doctor (Ganger): I've reversed the jelly baby of the neutron flow. I'm the— would you like a— Doctor... Doctor... I'm... I'm the...

The Doctor: So what's the plan?

The Doctor (Ganger): Save them all—humans and Gangers.

The Doctor: Tall order. Sounds wonderful.

The Doctor (Ganger): Is that what you were thinking?

The Doctor: Yes. It's just so inspiring to hear me say it.

The Doctor: [having tricked Amy and others into believing he is the Ganger version] Interesting. You definitely feel more affection for him than me.

Amy: No, no— but you're fine and everything, but he's The Doctor— no offense: being almost the Doctor is pretty damn impressive.

The Doctor: Being "almost the Doctor" is like being no Doctor at all.

Amy: Don't overreact!

The Doctor: [angry] You might as well call me Smith!

The Doctor (Ganger): I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams.

The Doctor: Why? It's all the eyes say: "Why?" I can feel them—as they work each day knowing the time was coming for them to be thrown away again— not again— please. And then they are destroyed, and they feel death and all they can say is "why?"

Rory: I have a message and a question: a message from the Doctor and a question from me. Where. Is. My. Wife?[The Cybermen do not respond] Oh, don't give me those blank looks. The Twelfth Cyber Legion monitors this entire quadrant. You hear everything. So you tell me what I need to know, you tell me now, and I'll be on my way.

Cyber Leader: What is the Doctor's message?

[The entire fleet explodes behind Rory]

Rory: Would you like me to repeat the question?

Commander Strax: Colonel Manton, you will give the order for your men to withdraw.

The Doctor: No. Colonel Manton, I want you to tell your men to run away.

Colonel Manton: You what?

The Doctor: Those words. "Run away." I want you to be famous for those exact words. [increasingly angry] I want people to call you "Colonel Run Away." I want children laughing outside your door because they've found the house of Colonel Run Away, and when people come to you and ask if trying to get to me through the people [shouting] I love [calmer] is in any way a good idea... I want you to tell them your name. [Pause] Oh, look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.

Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men... have too many rules.

The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.

The Doctor: [to Melody Pond] It's okay, she's still all yours. And really you should call her "Mummy", not "Big Milk Thing".

The Doctor: [furious] Where the hell have you been? Every time you asked, I have been there! Where the hell were you today?

River: I couldn't have prevented this.

The Doctor You could've tried!

River: And so, my love, could you. [looks toward Amy and Rory] I know you're not all right, but hold tight, Amy, because you're going to be.

The Doctor: You think I wanted this? I didn't do this! This... this wasn't me!

River: This was exactly you. All this, all of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name? Doctor: the word for healer and wise man throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word "doctor" means "mighty warrior". How far you've come. And now they've taken a child. The child of your best friends. And they're going to turn her into a weapon, just to bring you down. And all this, my love... in fear of you.

The Doctor: Pantophobia. Not fear of pants, though, if that's what you're thinking. It's the fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose, in that case.

The Doctor: When I was your age — about, ooh, a thousand years ago — I loved a good bedtime story. The Three Little Sontarans. The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes. Snow White and the Seven Keys to Doomsday, eh? All the classics.

Alex: No one is going to tell us how to run our lives. I don't care who you are, or what wheels have been set in motion — we'll sort it.

The Doctor: I'm not just a professional. I'm the Doctor.

Alex: What's that supposed to mean?

The Doctor: It means I've come a long way to get here, Alex, a very long way. George sent a message — a distress call, if you like. Whatever's inside that cupboard is so terrible, so powerful, that it amplified the fears of an ordinary little boy across all the barriers of time and space.

Alex: Eh?

The Doctor: Through crimson stars and silent stars and tumbling nebulas like oceans set on fire, through empires of glass and civilizations of pure thought, and a whole, terrible, wonderful universe of impossibilities. You see these eyes? They're old eyes... and one thing I can tell you, Alex: monsters are real.

The Doctor: Should we? Well, gotta open the cupboard, haven't we? Of course we have. Come on, Alex. Alex, come on. How else will we ever find out what's going on here?

Alex: Right. But you said—

The Doctor: Monsters, yeah. Well that's what I do. Breakfast, dinner, and tea. Fight the monsters! So this, this is just an average day at the office for me.

Alex: Okay, yeah. You're right.

The Doctor: Or maybe we shouldn't open the cupboard.

Alex: Eh?

The Doctor: We have no idea what might be in there. How powerful, how evil that thing might be.

Alex: We don't?

The Doctor: Come on, Alex! Alex, come on! Are you crazy? We can't open the cupboard!

Alex: God no! No, we mustn't!

The Doctor: Right. That settles it.

Alex: Settles what?

The Doctor: We're gonna open the cupboard.

The Doctor: Look. Wooden chicken. Cup, saucers, plates, knives, forks. Fruit. Chicken's wood. So. We're either inside the doll's house or this is a refuge for dirty posh people who eat wooden food. Or termites. Giant termites trying to get on the property ladder. No, That's possible. Is that possible?

Amy: You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful — and then you actually talk with them, and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick. But then there's other people, and you meet them and you think: "Not bad, they're okay," and then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality's written all over it; and they just— and they turn into something so beautiful. [Simultaneously, with Older Amy] Rory is the most beautiful man I've ever met.

Older Amy: You're asking me to defy destiny, causality, the nexus of time itself, for a boy.

Older Amy: Right, okay, this is big news. This is temporal earthquake time. I'm now officially changing my own future. Hold on to your spectacles. In my past I saw my future-self refuse to help you. I'm now changing that future and agreeing. Every Law of Time says that shouldn't be possible.

The Doctor: Yes, except sometimes, knowing your own future is what enables you to change it. Especially if you're bloody-minded, contradictory, and completely unpredictable.

Rory: So basically, if you're Amy, then.

The Doctor: Yes, if anyone can defeat pre-destiny, it's your wife.

The Doctor: Come on, Rory, this is hardly rocket science, this is quantum physics!

Older Amy: The look on your face when you carried her. Me. Her. When you carried her away. You used to look at me like that. I'd forgotten how much you loved me. I'd forgotten how much I loved being her. Amy Pond, in the TARDIS — with Rory Williams.

Rory: [to the Doctor, as he prepares to open the TARDIS door] I'm sorry. I can't do this.

Older Amy: If you love me, don't let me in. Open that door, I will— I'll come in. I don't want to die. I won't bow out bravely—I'll be kicking, screaming, fighting—to the end.

Rory: Amy, I love you.

Older Amy: I love you, too. Don't let me in. Tell Amy, your Amy: I'm giving her the days—the days with you, the days to come, the days I can't have. Take them, please. I'm giving my days.

The Doctor: OK, this is bad. At the moment I don't know how bad, but certainly we're three buses, a long walk, and eight quid in a taxi from good.

[The Doctor and Rita talk by Joe's dead body.]

Rory: Every time the Doctor gets pally with someone, I have this overwhelming urge to notify their next-of-kin. [Rory flinches]

Amy: What?

Rory: Sorry. Last time I said something like that, you hit me with your shoe. And you literally had to sit down and unlace it first.

Rita: [to the Doctor] What exactly happened to him?

The Doctor: He died.

Rita: You are a medical doctor, aren't you? You haven't just got a degree in cheese-making or something?

The Doctor: No, no. Well, yes. Both, actually.

The Doctor: I can't save you from this. There's nothing I can do to stop this. I stole your childhood and now I've lead you by the hand to your death. But the worst thing is, I knew. I knew this would happen. This is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain. Because I wanted to be adored. Look at you. Glorious Pond. The girl who waited for me. I'm not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it's time we saw each other as we really are. Amy Williams, it's time to stop waiting.

Amy: [standing over the dying Minotaur] What's it saying?

The Doctor: [speaking the Minotaur's thoughts aloud] "An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent... drifting in space through an endless shifting maze... for such a creature, death would be a gift." [to the Minotaur] Then accept it, and sleep well. [the Minotaur growls and the Doctor reiterates in English] "I wasn't talking about myself."

[The TARDIS lands in front of a blue house with a red Jaguar parked out front]

Amy: Don't tell me, this isn't Earth, that isn't a real house, and inside lives a goblin that feeds on indecision.

Rory: The car, too, but that's my favourite car. How did you know that was my favourite car?

The Doctor: Showed me a picture of it once and said, "That's my favourite car!"

Amy: Rory, um, can I have two minutes? Two minutes.

Rory: She'll say that we can't accept it because it's too extravagant and we'll always feel a crippling sense of obligation. [looks back at the Jaguar and Amy] It's a risk I'm willing to take. [Rory approaches the house]

The Doctor: You haven't seen the last of me. Bad Penny is my middle name. Seriously, the looks I get when I fill in a form, it's...

Amy: Why now?

The Doctor: Because you're still... breathing.

Amy: Well, I think this is about the washing up, personally. [They laugh]

The Doctor: [Approaching the TARDIS] I mean, you're right, there's still heaps of stuff out there to look at. Do you know, there's a planet whose name literally translates as "Volatile Circus". [Amy laughs and the Doctor looks at the new house] Or maybe there's a bigger, scarier adventure waiting for you in there.

Amy: Even so, it can't happen like this. After what we've been through, Doctor... everything. You can't just drop me off at my house and say goodbye like we shared a cab.

The Doctor: That's you! "Also Not Mum", that's me! And everybody else is [leans in to Alfie] "Peasants". That's a bit unfortunate.

The Doctor: Look around. Ask questions. People like it when you're with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That's why I usually take a human with me.

Craig: So I'm your baby.

The Doctor: [Cheerful] You're my baby!

The Doctor: [holding Alfie] Hello, Stormageddon. It’s The Doctor, here to help. Be quiet. Go to sleep. No, really. Stop crying. You’ve got a lot to look forward to, you know. A normal human life on Earth. Mortgage repayments, the 9 to 5, a persistent nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later, boyo. Oh, that was crabby. No, that was old. But I am old, Stormy. I am so old. So near the end. But you, Alfie Owens. You are so young, aren’t you? And you know, right now, everything’s ahead of you. You could be anything. Yes, I know. You could walk among the stars. They don’t actually look like that, you know — they are rather more impressive. [uses his sonic screwdriver to make a starry sky appear on the ceiling] Yeah! You know, when I was little like you, I dreamt of the stars. I think it’s fair to say, in the language of your age, that I lived my dream. I owned the stage. Gave it a hundred and ten percent. I hope you have as much fun as I did, Alfie.

Craig: The Cybermen — they blew up! I blew them up with love!

The Doctor: No, that's impossible — and also grossly sentimental and overly simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply ingrained hereditary trait to protect one's own genes — which in turn triggered a... a... uh... Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love.

The Doctor: Imagine you were dying. Imagine you were afraid and a long way from home and in terrible pain. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, you looked up and saw the face of the Devil himself. [pause] Hello, Dalek.

[The Dalek's voice becomes distorted and muffled as the Doctor removes its dome]

The Doctor: Hush now. I need some information from your data core. Everything the Daleks know about the Silence...

The Doctor: [arrogantly] I've been running all my life. Why should I stop?

Dorium: Because now you know what's at stake. Why your life must end.

The Doctor: Not today.

Dorium: What's the point in delaying? How long have you delayed already?!

The Doctor: Been knocking about. Bit of a farewell tour. Things to do, people to see. There's always more. I could invent a new colour, save the Dodo, join the Beatles. [On the phone] Hello, it's me! Get him, tell him we're going out and it's all on me except for the money and the driving! [To Dorium, boasting angrily] I've got a time machine, Dorium! It's all still going on! For me, it never stops! Liz the First is still waiting in a glade to elope with me! I could help Rose Tyler with her homework! I could go on all Jack's stag parties in one night!

Dorium: Time catches up with us all, Doctor!

The Doctor: Well, it has never laid a glove on me! [On the phone again] Hello?

Nurse: It was very peaceful. Talked a lot about you, if that's any comfort. Always made us pour an extra brandy 'case you came 'round one of these days.

Dorium: Doctor? What's wrong?

The Doctor: Nothing, I... just...[hangs up the phone, sighs, and pulls out the blue envelopes from his pocket]...it's time. It's time.

The Doctor: The loyal soldier, waiting to be noticed, always the pattern: why is that?

Rory: Sorry, sir?

The Doctor: Your boss, you should just ask her out. She likes you. She said so.

Rory: [Dryly] Really, sir? What did she say?

The Doctor: Ah, she just sort of generally indicated —

Rory: [Turns and looks him straight in the eye] What exactly did she say?

The Doctor: [Stuttering] Well, she said you were a Mr. Hottie-ness... and that she would like to go out with you for texting and scones. [Smiles hopefully]

Rory: [Stares at him] You really haven't done this before, have you?

The Doctor: No, I haven't.

River: Those reports of the sunspots and the solar flares, they're wrong. It's not the Sun, it's you. The sky is full of a million million voices saying, "Yes, of course we'll help." You've touched so many lives, saved so many people, did you think when your time came you'd really have to do more than just ask? You've decided that the universe is better off without you. But the universe doesn't agree.

The Doctor: River, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Time is disintegrating.

River: I can't let you die!

The Doctor: I have to die!

River: Shut up! I can't let you die — without knowing you are loved — by so many, and so much — and by no one more than me.

The Doctor: River, you and I know what this means. We are Ground Zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions on billions will suffer and die.

River: I'll suffer, if I have to kill you.

The Doctor: More than every living thing in the universe?

River: Yes.

Dorium: So you're going to do this, let them all think you're dead?

The Doctor: It's the only way. Then they can all forget me. I got too big, Dorium, too noisy. Time to step back into the shadows.

Dorium: And Doctor Song? In prison, all her days?

The Doctor: Her days, yes. Her nights... well... that's between her and me, eh?

Dorium: So many secrets, Doctor. [Chuckling] I'll help you keep them, of course.

The Doctor: Well, you're not exactly going anywhere, are you?

Dorium: But you're a fool, nonetheless. It's all still waiting for you - the fields of Trenzalore, the fall of the Eleventh, and the Question.

The Doctor: [Saluting as he exits] Goodbye, Dorium.

Dorium: [Shouting after him] The first question! The question that must never be answered! Hidden in plain sight! The question you've been running from all your life! Doctor Who? Doctor Who? Doc — tor — who?!

The Doctor: Okay. Suddenly the last nine hundred years of time travel seem a bit less secure.

Madge: Are you the new caretaker?

The Doctor: Usually called "The Doctor." Or "The Caretaker." Or "Get off this planet." Though, strictly speaking, that probably isn't a name.

Madge: Why are you doing all this?

The Doctor: I'm just... trying to take care of things. I'm the caretaker.

Madge: That's not what caretakers do.

The Doctor: Then why are they called caretakers?

Madge: [Pauses, caught, then:] Their father's dead.

The Doctor: [Pause] I'm sorry.

Madge: Lily and Cyril's father, my husband, is dead, and they don't know yet because if I tell them now, then Christmas will always be what took their father away from them and no one should have to live like that. Of course, when the Christmas period is over, I shall... [she pauses] I don't know why I keep shouting at them.

The Doctor: Because every time you see them happy, you remember how sad they're going to be... and it breaks your heart. Because what's the point in them being happy now if they're going to be sad later? The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later.

Lily: But why would you bring us to this place?

The Doctor: It was supposed to be a treat, this is one of the safest planets I know. There's never anything dangerous here.

[A loud thud sounds in the distance, causing the ground to shake.]

The Doctor: There are sentences I should just keep away from.

Harvest-Ranger Droxil: Happy now? We're stepping away from our guns. NOW can we interrogate you? [Madge nods tearfully]. We're from Androzoni Major. The year is 5345, and we mean you no harm. Where are you from?

Madge: England, 1941 [Drawing a gun]... and there's a war on!

[Droxil looks surprised but unafraid at this turn of events]

Madge: Oh! Crying's ever so useful, isn't it?

Harvest-Ranger Droxil : If you say so. But there's nothing you can say that would convince me you're going to use that gun.

Madge: Oh, really? Well, I'm looking for my children.

[Droxil's expression changes to one of fear]

Lily: What's happening?

The Doctor: No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it's a plan.

Amy: [Shouting from inside the house] If that is more carol singers, I have a water pistol! You don’t want to be all wet on a night like... [opens the door to see the Doctor] ...this.

[There is an awkward silence]

The Doctor: I'm not absolutely sure... How long?

Amy: [Annoyed] Two. Years. [She squirts him with the pistol]

The Doctor: [Wiping his face] Okay. Fair point.

Amy: So. You're not... dead.

The Doctor: And a happy new year! [His grin fades at the sight of Amy's face]

[They both stare off into space, avoiding each other's gaze. Eventually, the Doctor reaches Amy's eyes and smiles. She laughs, and rushes to hug him. They embrace tightly, Amy still laughing, while the Doctor fights to contain some emotion. She eventually releases him].

Amy: Mr. Pond! Guess who's coming for dinner!

Rory: [Emerging from the house] Whoa! Not dead then.

Amy: We've done that.

Rory: Oh, okay.

Amy: We're just about to have Christmas dinner. Joining us?

The Doctor: If it's no trouble?

Rory: There's a place set for you.

The Doctor: But you didn't know I was coming. Why would you set me a place?

Amy: Oh, because we always do. It's Christmas, you moron.

Rory: Come on.

[The Ponds go back into the house, leaving the Doctor on the doorstep. He enters the house and stands, looking confused. He touches his face and finds he is crying. He smiles tearfully and closes the door]

The Doctor: According to legend, you have a dumping ground. A planet where you lock up all the Daleks that go wrong. The battle-scarred, the insane. The ones even you can’t control. Which never made any sense to me.

Dalek Prime Minister: Why not?

The Doctor: Because you'd just kill them!

Dalek Prime Minister: It is offensive to us to extinguish such divine hatred.

The Doctor: Offensive?!?

Dalek Prime Minister: Does it surprise you to know the Daleks have a concept of beauty?

The Doctor: [appalled] I thought you'd run out of ways to make me sick, but hello again. You think hatred is beautiful?

Dalek Prime Minister: Perhaps that is why we have never been able to kill you.

[A hatch in the floor opens, revealing a planet surrounded by a force field]

Darla: The Asylum. It occupies the entire planet, right to the core.

The Doctor: How many Daleks are in there?

Darla: A count has not been made. Millions, certainly.

The Doctor: All still alive?

Darla: It has to be assumed. The asylum is fully automated. Supervision is not required.

Amy: Armed?

Darla: The Daleks are always armed.

Rory: What colour? [Everyone stares at him] Sorry, there weren't any good questions left.

Oswin: Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?

The Doctor: What about you, though, Oswin? Why are you okay? Why hasn't the nano-cloud converted you?

Oswin: I mentioned the genius thing, yeah? Shielded in here.

The Doctor: Hmm, clever of you. Now this place, the Daleks said it was fully automated, but look at it — it's a wreck.

Oswin: Well, I've had nearly a year to mess with them... and not a lot else to do.

The Doctor: A genius entertainment manager hiding out in a wrecked ship, hacking the security systems of the most advanced warrior race the Universe has ever seen — but, you know what really gets me about you, Oswin? The soufflés. Where do you get milk for the soufflés? Seriously, is no one else wondering about that?

Rory: No. Frankly, no! Twice.

Rory: Okay, look at me. I'm going to be logical. Cold and logical, okay? For both of our sakes, for both of us, I'm going to take this off my wrist and put it on yours.

Amy: Why? Then it'll just start converting you. That's not better.

Rory: Yeah, but it'll buy us time. Because it'll take longer with me.

Amy: Sorry, what?

Rory: It subtracts love. That's what she said.

Amy: What's that got to do with it? What does that even mean?

Rory: It's just arithmetic. It'll take longer with me, because... Well, we both know, we've both always known... Amy, basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me, which, today, is good news, because it might just save both of our lives.

Amy: How can you say that?

Rory: Two thousand years waiting for you outside a box. Saying it because it's true, and since you know it's true, give me your arm! [She withdraws her arm] Amy! [She slaps him]

Amy: Don’t you dare say that to me. Don’t you ever dare.

Rory: Amy, you kicked me out!

Amy: You want kids! You have always wanted kids, ever since you were a kid! [Starts to sob] And I can't have them!

Rory: I know.

Amy: Whatever they did to me at Demon's Run, I can't ever give you children! I didn't kick you out. I gave you up.

Rory: Amy... I don't...

Amy: So don't you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box, because that is nothing, Rory, nothing, compared to giving you up!

Preacher: He's called Joshua. It's from the Bible. It means "the deliverer".

[The horse snorts]

The Doctor: No, he isn't.

Preacher: What?

The Doctor: I speak horse. He's called Susan.

[The horse snorts]

The Doctor: And he wants you to respect his life choices.

The Doctor: [Angrily] Today, I honour victims first; his, The Master's, the Daleks', all the people who died because of my mercy!

Amy: See, this is what happens when you travel alone for too long. Well listen to me, Doctor. We can't be like him. We have to be better than him.

[Dockery draws a pistol, pointing it at the Doctor]

The Doctor: How old are you?

Dockery: Nearly 19.

The Doctor: That's 18, then. Too young to have fought in the war, so I'm guessing you've never shot anyone before,have you?

Dockery: First time for everything.

The Doctor: But that's how all this started. Jex turned someone into a weapon. Now that same story's gonna make you a killer, too. Don't you see? Violence doesn't end violence, it extends it. And I don't think you want to do this. I don't think you want to become that man.

Dockery: There's kids here.

The Doctor: I know, who I can save, if you'll let me.

Dockery: [Nodding to the building holding Kahler-Jex] He really worth the risk?

The Doctor: I don't know. But you are.

[Dockery withdraws with the townsfolk]

The Doctor: Frightened people. Give me a Dalek any day.

Kahler-Jex: [to The Doctor] In my culture, we believe that when you die your spirit has to climb a mountain, carrying with it all the souls you wronged in your lifetime. Imagine the weight I will have to lift; the monsters I created, the people they killed. Isaac. He was my friend. Now his soul will be in my arms, too. And you see now why I fear death. You want to hand me over. There's no shame in that, but you won't. We all carry our prisons with us. Mine is my past. Yours is your morality.

Amy: My whole life I've dreamed of saying that, and I miss it by being someone else.

[Amy, Rory, and the Doctor are sitting on the couch eating fish fingers and custard.]

The Doctor: If I had a restaurant, this'd be all I'd serve.

Amy: Yeah, right! You running a restaurant.

The Doctor: I've run restaurants. Who do you think invented the Yorkshire pudding?

Rory: [Laughs, then realises the Doctor is being serious] You didn't?

The Doctor: Pudding, yet savoury. Sound familiar?

The Doctor: I'm not running away. But this is one corner of one country on one continent on one planet that's a corner of a galaxy that's a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond, and there is so much, so much, to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast. I'm not running away from things, I am running to them. Before they flare and fade forever. And it's alright. Our lives won't run the same. They can't. One day, soon, maybe, you'll stop. I've known for a while.

Amy: Then why do you keep coming back for us?

The Doctor: Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you're seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be. I'm running to you and Rory before you fade from me.

The Doctor: The pest-controllers of the universe, that's how the tales went, isn't it?

Amy: Wow. That's some seriously weird bedtime story.

The Doctor: You can talk. Wolf in your grandmother's nightdress?

Amy: [Narrating] So that was the year of the slow invasion, when the Earth got cubed and the Doctor came to stay. It was also when we realised something the Shakri never understood. What cubed actually means. The Power of Three.

[Amy vanishes as she is sent to the past by the angel. Amy's name appears alongside Rory's on the gravestone]

The Doctor: [Sobbing]No!

River: Ok. This book I've got to write, Melody Malone. I presume I send it to Amy to get it published?

The Doctor: Yes. Yes.

River: I'll tell her to write an afterword. For you. Maybe you’ll listen to her. [She leaves the room, leaving the Doctor sat alone on the steps with his thoughts. Suddenly it hits him]

The Doctor: The last page!

[The Doctor sprints through Central Park to their abandoned picnic, with the final page of Melody Malone resting inside the basket. He sits alone on a bench and reads]

Amy: [In voice-over] Afterword, by Amelia Williams. Hello, old friend, and here we are, you and me, on the last page. By the time you read these words, Rory and I will be long gone. So know that we lived well and were very happy. And above all else, know that we will love you, always. Sometimes I do worry about you, though. I think once we're gone, you won't be coming back here for a while and you might be alone, which you should never be. Don't be alone, Doctor. And do one more thing for me. There's a little girl waiting in a garden. She's going to wait a long while, so she's going to need a lot of hope. Go to her. Tell her a story. Tell her that if she's patient, the days are coming that she'll never forget. Tell her she'll go to sea and fight pirates. She'll fall in love with a man who'll wait two-thousand years to keep her safe. Tell her she'll give hope to the greatest painter who ever lived and save a whale in outer space. Tell her this is the story of Amelia Pond. And this is how it ends.

[Young Amelia is sitting outside her home on her suitcase waiting, and hears the TARDIS; she looks up, smiling...]

Miss Kizlet: Actually, he's about to go on holiday. Kill him when he gets back. Let's not be unreasonable.

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I'm an alien from outer space. I'm a thousand years old, I've got two hearts, and I can’t fly a plane! Can you?

Clara: No!

The Doctor: Ooh, fine! Let's do it together!

The Doctor: But a hundred and one places to see, and you haven’t been to any of them, have you? That's why you keep the book.

Clara: I keep the book 'cause I'm still going.

The Doctor: But you don't run out on the people you care about. Wish I was more like that. You know, the thing about a time machine , you can run away all you like and still back in time for tea, so what do you say? Anywhere. All of time and space right outside those doors.

Clara: Does this work?

The Doctor: Hey?

Clara: [laughs] This is actually what you do? Do you just crook your fingers and people just jump in your snog box and fly away?

The Doctor: It is not a snog box!

Clara: I'll be the judge of that.

The Doctor: Starting when?

Clara: Come back tomorrow. Ask me again.

The Doctor: Why?

Clara: 'Cause tomorrow I might say yes. [starts for the doors] Some time after seven okay for you?

Merry: Live... wake up, wake up, and let the cloak of life cling to your bones...

The Doctor: Can you hear them? All these people who've lived in terror of you and your judgement. All these people whose ancestors devoted themselves, sacrificed themselves, to you. Can you hear them singing?

Merry: Wake up, Wake up...

The Doctor: Oh, you like to think you're a god, but you're not a god. You're just a parasite eaten out with jealous and envy and longing for the lives of others. You feed on them. On the memory of love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow. So...so come on, then. Take mine. Take my memories. But I hope you've got a big appetite, because I've lived a long life, and I've seen a few things.

The Doctor: I walked away from the Last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe, and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained. No time, no space – just me. I've walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a madman! I've watched universes freeze and creations burn! I have seen things you wouldn't believe! I have lost things you will never understand! And I know things. Secrets that must never be told, knowledge that must never be spoken, knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze! SO, COME ON, THEN! TAKE IT! TAKE IT ALL, BABY! HAVE IT! YOU HAVE IT ALL!!

Clara:Still hungry? Well I brought something for you. This. The most important leaf in human history. The most important leaf in human history. It's full of stories. Full of history. And full of a future that never got lived. Days that should have been and never were. Passed on to me. This leaf isn't just the past, it's a whole future that never happened. There are billions and millions of unlived days for every day we live—an infinity. All the days that never came. And these are all my mum's.

The Doctor: Well? Come on then. Eat up. Are you full? I expect so. Because there's quite a difference isn't there? Between what was and what should have been. There's an awful lot of one but there's an infinity of the other. And infinity is too much. Even for your appetite.

The Doctor: Possibly. Very dangerous time, Clara. East and West standing on the brink of nuclear oblivion. Lots of itchy fingers on the button.

Clara: Isn't it always like that?

The Doctor: Sorta. But there are flash points and this is one of them. Hair, shoulder pads, nukes. It's the '80s. Everything's bigger.

The Doctor: It's an Ice Warrior! A native of the planet Mars. And we go way back. Way back.

Captain Zhukov: Martian? You can't be serious!

The Doctor: I'm always serious. With days off.

Clara: Doctor.

The Doctor: Just keeping it light, Clara. They're scared.

Clara: They're scared? I'm scared!

Clara: The TARDIS! Where's the TARDIS? You never explained.

The Doctor: Oh, well, don't worry about that.

Clara: Stop saying that. Where is it?

The Doctor: Yeah. Well, I wasn't to know, was I?

Clara: Know what?

The Doctor: I've been tinkering, breaking her in. I'm allowed.

Clara: What did you do?

The Doctor: [mumbling] I reset the HADS.

Clara: Huh?

The Doctor: I reset [suddenly quieting his voice] the HADS.

Clara: The what?

The Doctor: The HADS! The Hostile Action Displacement System! If the TARDIS comes under attack, gunfire, time winds, the... sea, it... relocates!

Clara: Oh, Doctor...

The Doctor: Haven't used it in donkey's years. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, never mind, it's bound to turn up somewhere. [The Doctor's sonic screwdriver is heard whirring in his pocket] Ooh. Ha! See? Right on cue. [He examines his screwdriver's readings] Brilliant.

Clara: Brilliant.

The Doctor: The TARDIS is at the Pole.

Clara: Not far, then.

The Doctor: [sheepish] The South Pole.

Clara: Ah.

The Doctor: [to Captain Zhukov, embarrassed] Could we have a lift? [Both Clara and Zhukov laugh as they head back into the submarine; the Doctor laughs sarcastically after them]

[Clara stands still, slowly raising a hand in a thumbs up gesture with a stiff and amused smile on her face]

Clara: Have we just watched the entire life cycle of Earth, birth to death?

The Doctor: Yes.

Clara: And you're okay with that?

The Doctor: Yes...

Clara: How can you be?

The Doctor: The TARDIS. She's... time. We... wibbly vortex and so on.

Clara: That's not what I mean.

The Doctor: Okay. Some help? Context? Cheat sheet? Something?

Clara: I mean one minute you're in 1974 looking for ghosts, but all you have to do is open your eyes and talk to whoever's standing there. To you, I haven't been born yet. And, to you, I've been dead a hundred billion years. [Clara looks at the ruined Earth of the distant future displayed on the TARDIS scanner] Is my body out there somewhere? In the ground?

The Doctor: Yes. I suppose it is.

Clara: But here we are, talking, so I am a ghost. To you, I'm a ghost. We're all ghosts to you. We must be nothing.

The Doctor: No. No. You're not that.

Clara: Then what are we? What can we possibly be?

The Doctor: You are the only mystery worth solving.

Emma: What's wrong?

Clara: I just saw something I wish I hadn't.

Emma: What did you see?

Clara: That everything ends.

Emma: No, not everything. Not love. Not always.

Emma: Doctor, will it hurt?

The Doctor: No. Well, yes, probably. A bit. Well, quite a lot. I don't know. It might be agony. To be perfectly honest, I'll be interested to find out.

TARDIS Voice Visual Interface: TARDIS Voice Visual Interface. I'm programmed to select the image of a person you esteem. Of several billion such images in my database, this one best meets the criterion.

Clara: Ugh! Oh, you are a cow! I knew it! Whatever. You have to help the Doctor!

TARDIS Voice Visual Interface: The Doctor is in the pocket universe.

Clara: You can enter the pocket universe!

TARDIS Voice Visual Interface: The entropy would drain the energy from my heart. In four seconds, I'd be stranded. In ten, I'd be dead.

Clara: Red flashing light... means something bad? "Get out of here fast?" Or possibly, "Whatever you do, don't open this door"... [Clara pauses, then opens the door. A huge wave of fire jets down the corridor towards her] Bad decision.

Bram: How big is this baby?

The Doctor: Picture the biggest ship you've ever seen. Are you picturing it?

Bram: Yeah.

The Doctor: Good, now forget it, because this ship's infinite.

Bram: It'll take you hours to find the girl.

The Doctor: Days, plus this whole ship is toxic, she'll be dead by the time I reach her. So, here's the mission. We're going to find her in one hour.

Bram: We?

The Doctor: You're my guys for this.

Bram: That wasn't the deal!

The Doctor: It is now.

Gregor: And what makes you think we'll help?

[The Doctor flips down two levers, a timer appears on the screen.]

The Doctor: I just activated the TARDIS self-destruct system. [59:56:90 counts down with beeps] One hour until this ship blows. [Bram rushes for the doors, but the Doctor locks them with the flick of a switch] Don't try to leave! The TARDIS is in lockdown. I'll open those doors when Clara's by my side.

Bram: You crazy lunatic!

The Doctor: My ship, my rules!

Gregor: You'll kill us all, and the girl.

The Doctor: She's going to die if you don't help me. Don't get into a spaceship with a mad man. Didn't anyone teach you that?

The Doctor: It isn't just the past leaking out through the time rift, it's the future. Listen, I brought you here to keep you safe, but it happened again. You died again.

Clara: What do you mean again?

Clara: If you don't have a plan, we're dead!

The Doctor: Yes. We are. So just tell me.

Clara: Tell you what?

The Doctor: Well, we're about to die. There's no point now. Just tell me who you are.

Clara: [puzzled] You know who I am.

The Doctor: No, I don't. I look at you at you every single day, and I don't understand a thing about you. Why do I keep running into you?

Strax: Just generally. We are going... to the North. [Vastra and Jenny exchange confused looks]

The Doctor: [Emerging from the TARDIS] Okay! So, not London, 1893 – Yorkshire, 1893. Near enough.

Clara: You’re making a habit of this. Getting us lost.

The Doctor: Sorry. It’s much better than it used to be. I once spent a hell of a long time trying to get a gobby Australian to Heathrow airport.

Clara: What for?

The Doctor: Search me. Anyway— [There is a scream in the distance. They look at each other] Brave heart, Clara.

[Strax, driving a coach, halts on an empty Yorkshire street]

Strax: Horse, you have failed in your mission! We are lost, with no sign of Sweetville! Do you have any final words before your summary execution? [The horse grunts] The usual story! [Strax aims a Sontaran gun at the horse] Fourth one this week, and I'm not even hungry!

Boy: Sweetville, sir?

Strax: [Lowers his weapon and turns to the boy nearby] Do you know it?

Boy: Turn around, when possible, then, at the end of the road, turn right.

Strax: What?

Boy: Bear left for a quarter of a mile, then you will have reached your destination.

Porridge: That used to be the Tiberion Spiral Galaxy. A million star systems. A hundred million worlds. A billion trillion people. It's not there anymore. No more Tiberion galaxy. No more Cybermen. It was effective.

Clara: It's horrible.

Porridge: Yeah. I feel like a monster sometimes.

Clara: Why?

Porridge: Because instead of mourning a billion trillion dead people, I just feel sorry for the poor blighter who had to press the button and blow it all up.

Brains: With respect, ma'am, we ought to be hunting the creature.

Clara: The only reason I'm still alive is because I do what the Doctor says. Can you guarantee me you'd bring back my children alive and unharmed? [Brains shakes his head] I trust the Doctor.

Cyber-Planner: Clara... I suppose... I'm the only one who knows how I... feel about you right now. How funny you are... so funny... and pretty. [she smiles] And the truth is I'm starting to like you in a way that is more than just... [he leans in to kiss her. She slaps him].

The Doctor: Ow! Ow, ow! Yes! It's me! That really hurt!

Clara: [staring out over the legions of Cybermen] One gun, five hand pulsars, and a planet-smashing bomb that doesn't work anymore.

Brains: Why not?

Clara: Broken trigger unit.

Brains: But you signed for that!

The Doctor: Ah, hello. Can someone untie me, please?

Clara: Do you think I'm pretty?

The Doctor: No. You're too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny.

The Doctor: No. When a TARDIS is dying, sometimes the dimension dams start breaking down. They used to call it a size leak. All the bigger-on-the-inside starts leaking to the outside. It grows. When I say that's the TARDIS, I don't mean it looks like the TARDIS, I mean it actually is the TARDIS, my TARDIS from the future. What else would they bury me in?

Great Intelligence: It was a minor skirmish by the Doctor's blood-soaked standards. Not exactly the Time War, but enough to finish him. In the end, it was too much for the old man.

Vastra: Even if any of this was true, which I take the liberty of doubting, how did you come by this information?

Great Intelligence: I am information.

Jenny: You were a mind without a body last time we met.

Vastra: And you were supposed to stay that way!

Great Intelligence: Alas, I did. [peels away its Walter Simeon face, and its clothes fall to the ground leaving no trace of a body underneath; a Whisper Man steps forward and transforms into a replacement Simeon] As you can see.

Great Intelligence: The Doctor's life is a open wound. And an open wound can be entered.

The Doctor: No, it would destroy you--

Great Intelligence: Not at all. It will kill me. It will destroy you. I can rewrite your every living moment. I can turn every one of you victories into defeats. Poison every friendship. Deliver pain to your every breath.

The Doctor: It will burn you up! Once you go through, you can't come back. You will be scattered along my timeline like confetti!

Great Intelligence: It matters not, Doctor. You thwarted me at every turn. Now you will give me peace, as I take my revenge on every second of your life. Goodbye. Goodbye, Doctor. [enters the time stream]

Clara: [narrating] Sometimes it's like I've lived a thousand lives in a thousand places. I'm born, I live, I die. And always, there's the Doctor. Always I'm running to save the Doctor. Again and again and again. And he hardly ever hears me. But I've always been there.

[The First Doctor and Susan are about to steal a faulty TARDIS]

Clara: Doctor?

The First Doctor: Yes? What is it? What do you want?

Clara: [narrating] Right from the very beginning.

Clara: Sorry, but you're about to make a very big mistake. Don't steal that one, steal this one. The navigation system's knackered, but you'll have much more fun.

Clara: [narrating] Right from the day he started running.

[As the Doctor hugs Clara, he notices a man in the distance, his back turned to the pair of them. The Doctor's expression turns to one of horror. Clara turns around to see the man.]

Clara: Who's that?

The Doctor: Never mind. Let's go back.

Clara: But who is he?

The Doctor: He's me. There's only me here. That's the point. Now let's get back.

Clara: But I never saw that one. I saw all of you. Eleven faces, all of them you! You're the eleventh Doctor!

The Doctor: I said he was me. I never said he was the Doctor.

Clara: I don't understand.

The Doctor: My name, my real name - that is not the point. The name I chose is the Doctor. The name you choose, is like... it's like a promise you make. He's the one who broke the promise.

The Doctor: [Trailer narration] I've been running all my lives... through time and space. Every second of every minute of every day for over nine hundred years. I fought for peace in a universe at war. Now the time has come to face the choices I made in the name of the Doctor. Our future depends on one single moment of one impossible day. The day I've been running from all my life. The day of the Doctor.

[The Eleventh Doctor meets The Tenth Doctor, his younger self]

The Eleventh Doctor: Oh, that is skinny. That is proper skinny. I've never seen it from the outside. It's like a special effect. Oi! Ha! Matchstick man.

The Tenth Doctor: [realizing the other man is his future self] You're not...

[They both get out their sonic screwdrivers; the Eleventh Doctor’s is bigger]

The Eleventh Doctor: I could be a curator. I'd be great at curating. I'd be...the Great Curator! [laughs softly] I could retire and do that. I could retire and be the curator of this place.

Curator: [from behind] You know, I really think you might. [The Eleventh Doctor turns and is stunned to see the Curator, who looks and sounds a lot like an elderly Fourth Doctor]

The Eleventh Doctor: I never forget a face.

Curator: I know you don't. And in years to come, you might might find yourself...revisiting a few. But just...the old favorites, eh? You were curious about this painting, I think. I acquired it in remarkable circumstances. What do you make of the title?

Curator: No, you see, that's where everybody's wrong. It's all one title: "Gallifrey Falls No More". Now...what would you think that means, eh?

The Eleventh Doctor: That Gallifrey didn't fall. It worked! It's still out there!

Curator: I'm only a humble curator. I'm sure I wouldn't know.

The Eleventh Doctor: Then where is it?

Curator: Where is it, indeed?

The Eleventh Doctor: [whispering] Yes.

Curator: Lost, shhh. Perhaps. Things do get lost, you know. And now you must excuse me. Ohhh...you have a lot to do.

The Eleventh Doctor: Do I? Is that what I'm supposed to do now, go looking for Gallifrey?

Curator: Well, that's entirely up to you. Your choice, eh? I can only tell you what I would do. If I were you... [laughs softly] "If I were you..." [laughs some more] Perhaps I was you, of course. [they both laugh softly] Or, perhaps you are me. [both laugh again as the Curator shakes the Doctor's hand] Congratulations.

The Eleventh Doctor: [voice over] Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. "Of course I dream," I tell her, "Everybody dreams". "But what do you dream about?" she'll ask. "The same thing everybody dreams about," I tell her, "I dream about where I'm going." She always laughs at that. "But you're not going anywhere, you're just wandering about". That's not true. Not anymore. I have a new destination. My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyone's. It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but, at last, I know where I'm going, where I've always been going: Home, the long way 'round.

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I’m a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. I stole a time machine and ran away, and I've been flouting the principle law of my own people ever since! [Claps a hand over his mouth] That wasn't quite what I was meant to say.

Clara: I'm an English teacher from planet Earth, and I ran off with a man from space because I really fancy... [claps a hand over her mouth, looking shocked]

Woman: I think, perhaps, you should stop talking till you get used to it.

The Doctor: I'm wearing a wig! [Claps hand over mouth, the couple laugh] No! Ah, I see! Yes, of course. It's a truth field. Oh, that is so quaint. I haven't seen a truth field in years! I'm wearing a wig!

The Doctor: If you were trying to break through a wall, you'd choose the weakest spot. If you were trying to break into this universe you'd choose this crack, because — No! If you were trying to break back into this universe! [to Handles] You said "Gallifrey"! Why did you say "Gallifrey"?

The Doctor: No, I said it was in another universe. The message is coming through here. The truth field is, too, at a guess. If it's the Time Lords — if it's the Time Lords! [he produces a Gallifreyan seal from his pocket] Seal of the High Council of Gallifrey, nicked it off the Master in the Death Zone. There is an algorithm imprinted in the atomic structure. Use it to decode the message.

Handles: Warning: Translation will be available to all life forms in range. Translation follows: Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who?

Clara: "And now it's time for one last bow
Like all your other selves
Eleven's hour is over now
The clock is striking twelve's".

Clara: [speaking to the Time Lords through the crack] You've been asking a question, and it's time someone told you you've been getting it wrong. His name... His name is the Doctor. All the name he needs. Everything you need to know about him. And if you love him — and you should — help him. Help him.

The Doctor: Yes, I am dying. You've been trying to kill me for centuries, and here I am, dying of old age. If you want something done, do it yourself.

Dalek Commander: You will die, and the Time Lords will never return.

The Doctor: You still can't work up the courage to shoot me, can you? You're still worried I've got something up my sleeve! [Dejectedly] Well, knock yourselves out, boys. I've got nothing this time.

[A crack in time opens in the sky, and regeneration energy drifts down from the crack into the Doctor's mouth.]

Dalek Commander: You will die now, Doctor. This is the end of you! The rules of regeneration are known. You have expended all your lives!

The Doctor: Sorry, what did you say? Did you mention the rules? Now, listen. A bit of advice: tell me the truth if you think you know it, lay down the law if you're feeling brave, but, Daleks, never ever tell me the rules!

Dalek Commander: [panicking] Emergency! Emergency! The Doctor is regenerating! The Doctor is regenerating!

[The clock tower begins to strike twelve]

The Doctor: Oh, look at this! Regeneration number thirteen! We're breaking some serious science here, boys! And I tell you what, it's gonna be a whopper!

Daleks: Exterminate! Exterminate the Doctor!

The Doctor: You think you can stop me now, Daleks? If you want my life, [shouting]come and get it!![The Doctor focuses his regenerative energy to destroy several Daleks] Love from Gallifrey, boys! [The Doctor unleashes a blast from his head that obliterates the Dalek ship above, sending out a shock wave destroying all Daleks in the area]

The Doctor: It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. Any moment now... He's a-comin'.

Clara: Who's coming?

The Doctor: The Doctor.

Clara: You. You are the Doctor.

The Doctor: Yep, and I always will be. [his hand starts glowing] But times change, and so must I. [From the Doctor's perspective, young Amelia Pond runs past him, the TARDIS walls covered with drawings of the Eleventh Doctor and his adventures] Amelia!

Clara: Who's Amelia?

The Doctor: The first face this face saw. We all change. When you think about it, we're all different people all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.

[A vision of adult Amy walks down the stairs. They touch each other's faces]

Amy: Raggedy man... Goodnight.

[The vision of Amy is gone. The Doctor takes off his bow tie and drops it on the floor]

The Doctor: Oh, so this is how it all ends, Pond flirting with herself. True love at last. Oh. Sorry, Rory.

Rory: Absolutely no problem at all...

The Doctor: Ok, we're back in normal flight. The TARDIS is no longer inside itself, the localised time field is no longer about to implode and rip a hole in all causality, but just in case... Pond, put some trousers on.

The Doctor: You're the original owner of this fez, a fez I happened to be carrying during an unavoidable collision with this lever. My lever plus your fez equals time window in the TARDIS. My TARDIS, by the way, so don't get any ideas trying to steal it... again!

Albert Einstein: But you said you were going to give my toothbrush back.

The Doctor: About that, the Daleks kind of exterminated it last week. Or was it last century?

Albert Einstein: [pointing at the Erlenmeyer flask with a green liquid in it] So, going back to this, I guess it's not bionic fusion liquid?

The Doctor: [takes the flask] Never mind, pass it to me, I'll just run some tests.

Albert Einstein: [grabbing it back] I made it, I'll do the tests!

The Doctor: [annoyed] That's the twentieth-century physicist for you: always wanting to do it themselves.

Albert Einstein: Where have you hidden my bicarbonated processing machine, huh? A genius like me needs better than this old trash!

The Doctor: [furious]Old trash!? I'll have you know, this "old trash" will be around until the end of time. In fact, it was.

Clara: One day you meet the Doctor. And of course, it’s the best day ever. It’s just the best day of your life. Because...because, he’s brilliant, and he’s funny, and mad, and best of all...really needs you. The trick is – don’t fall in love. I do that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day. And once you start running, you start to forget; slowly, after a while, you just stopping asking. Who are you? Where are you from? What set you on your way and where are you going? Oh...and what is your name? You get used to not knowing. I thought I never would. I was wrong. I know who he is. I know how he began and I know where he’s going. I learnt the truth about the Doctor and his greatest secret the day we went to Trenzalore.

The Doctor: From the beginning she was impossible. The impossible girl. Met her in the Dalek Asylum, never saw her face, and she died. Met her again in Victorian London, and she died. Saved my life both times by giving her own. But now she’s back, and we’re running together and she’s perfect. Perfect in every way for me. Except she can’t remember that we ever met. Clara...my Clara. Always brave, always funny. Always exactly what I need. Perfect. Too perfect. You get used to not knowing. Thought I never would. I was wrong. I know who Clara Oswald is. I know how she came to be in my life and I know what she will always mean. I found out the truth the day we went to Trenzalore.

The Doctor: The Royal Albert Hall is saved! Hurrah! Now, listen, well done, everyone. Don't worry-- I mean, the force has been dissipated through the entire building. I bet you're going to ask, are there going to be any side effects? Well, no, absolutely not, unless you've got your mobile phone on, in which case you're going to die.

The Doctor: Come on, Rani, use your brain; Clyde and I swapped places, yes? So I'm where he was, he's where I was, which means right now— oh. He's in a lot of trouble...

The Doctor: Ah, yes. The Claw Shansheeth of the 15th Funeral Fleet; I've been looking for you. Have you been telling people I'm dead?!

Shansheeth Leader: I apologise; The death notice was released a little too soon. But I can rectify this - immediately! [fires an energy beam at the Doctor] I'm so sorry for your loss, Doctor. Rest in peace!

[The Doctor and Sarah Jane are repairing the Doctor's space-time swapping device using Sarah Jane's sonic lipstick. Jo Jones is in the background]

The Doctor: There and there.

Sarah Jane: [applies the sonic lipstick] Does it hurt?

The Doctor: No.

Sarah Jane: I mean the regeneration. That last body of yours, was he okay, I mean?

The Doctor: It always hurts. And there.

Sarah Jane: So how did you end up in this place?

The Doctor: The Shansheeth lured me; a mighty old battlefield just begging to be explored, 'cause I'm travelling with Amy now, and Rory. Then they got married, so I dropped them off on a honeymoon planet, which isn't what you'd think; It's not a planet for a honeymoon, it's a planet on a honeymoon. It married an asteroid. [Sarah Jane and the Doctor laugh] And they nicked the TARDIS. The Shansheeth, not Amy and, err... Fortunately, I had all this wreckage to build a space swapping doodah-thingy-whatsit.

The Doctor: [turning to face Jo] Now what in the world would make you think that, ever, ever, ever?

Jo: We had been travelling down the Amazon for months and we reached a village in Crystalline, and it was the only place in thousands of miles that has a telephone, so I called you; I just wanted to say hello. And they told me that you left, left U.N.I.T, never came back, so I waited and waited, because you said you would see me again; you did; I asked you and you said yes, you promised, so I thought one day I would hear that sound, deep in the jungle; I would hear that funny wheezing noise and a big blue box right in the middle of the rainforest, because you wouldn't just leave; not forever, not me. [starts to cry] I've waited my whole, silly life.

The Doctor: Oh, but you're an idiot.

Jo: Well, there we have it!

The Doctor: No, but don't you see? How could I ever find you? You've spent the past 40 years living in huts, climbing up trees, tearing down barricades. You've done everything from flying kites on Kilimanjaro to sailing down the Yangtze in a tea-chest. Not even the TARDIS could pin you down!

Jo: Hold on... I did sail down the Yangtze in a tea-chest! How did you know?

The Doctor: And that family! All 7 kids, 12 grandchildren, 13th on his way. He's dyslexic, but that'll be fine; great swimmer.