Wow...Pax, that took me a while to read most of that. Takes ones mind into a dark gloomy place. Sad to read all of those...

Bad guys always have the drop on the good guys. They prepare for the bad deed they're doing with the most serious intention of harm to others resulting in death.

All we can do is prepare for the worst the best we can.

In the book "Force Decisions" by Rory Miller he states that even the most highly decorated veteran can tense up and freeze at a time where he/she needs to act to stay alive or save a life. Gives examples of one way and the other. Meaning an average Joe going above and beyond and a highly decorated officer freezing and vice versa.

So all this training is amazing and great. The more you have the better. However one never really knows what he/she will do when they cross that bridge until they get there.