Good morning! We’re Al Pacino and Christopher Walken, you might know us from the movies. Over the years, we have delivered many powerful performances and created memorable characters through our craft. HOOH-AH! Remember? I know it’s weird to hear Christopher Walken say that–this is Al Pacino talking now by the way–but I still think he does a pretty good job. Do it again, Chris. HOOH-AH! Yeah, that’s the stuff. Oh hold on, please. Ahhhh. Goes down OK, huh Chris? Yeah, Al, it’s fine. You see, between the two of us, we now have to take about a dozen different prescription medications every morning to regulate our slowly decaying bodies. I’m on Flaxonil, Plimplop, Degozax Ultra, and Wellbutstan and Chris here takes Echoplat, Mingling, Sussanasix, and Yestromax. We’re both on Cojonal and Hestrinistrum. They say you can’t live forever but we’re at least gonna try, HAHHAHAHAHHAHA. Anyway, good morning! My grandpa used to say if you wake up in the morning and stretch out your arms and you don’t hit wood, it’s a good day. Then he’d hoist another three hundred pound bag of coal onto his back and climb a hill for no reason. The point is, life goes a lot faster than you realize and then one day you’re wearing your pants hiked up under your armpits and there’s a little bit of shit smell following you everywhere and when you eat it’s not entirely possible to do so without at least a little bit of food either escaping back onto your plate by climbing down a saliva rope or by stowing away in your mustache hairs but hey, you’re alive and you’re among friends and family, and that’s what counts, we think. Take it from us, Al Pacino and Christopher Walken. Good morning! Live every day as if it’s your last, especially when you’re our age. HOO-AH! OK, now I just feel like you’re teasing me, Chris. How would you like it if I said “I kept the watch inside of my butt for a long time.” That’s not the line. It doesn’t matter if it’s the line or not, I’M MAKING A POINT HERE! Excuse us, please. Enjoy your day. From us. (Via BlameItOnTheVoices.)