THE MOST INFLUENTIAL FOOTBALL BLOG OF THE DECADE - SPORTS ILLUSTRATED

Van Basten to Chelsea, Solano to Hartlepool and loads of other stuff…

Apparently there is a film coming out with Jennifer Aniston in it – no, wait! She might get naked in it. They haven’t decided whether they’ll keep the scene in yet though, but still, PHWOAR! LAAAAADS!

Here are lots of other things that haven’t been decided yet but might still make people excited. These come courtesy of the Lefties at the Guardian, the righties at the Daily Mail and other folks…

In a fit-to-burst day for transfer ‘news’, we’ll start with the ever reliable chaps and chapettes at the Press Association. They’re reporting that Chelsea will have a fight on their hands if they want to land former brilliant player and current average manager Marco van Basten.

Although that fight will come from Sporting Lisbon and Fiorentina, so the Blues won’t be quaking in their Gucci loafers just yet. Also, does anyone else apart from The Spoiler reckon that Carlo Ancelotti will still be at Chelsea next season?

The Sun are persisting with the story that Manchester City are after Cesc Fabregas. They might well be right, but it ain’t gonna happen – not in this lifetime, sister.

Meanwhile, The Metro are reporting that City will join the hunt for Kaka and also try and swipe Wesley Sneijder away from Man Utd by offering Carlos Tevez in part exchange. The Spoiler reckons… Kaka to Chelsea (his mum sort-of said) and Sneijder to United.

And in three-word transfer news…

Adebayor to Spurs

Osvaldo to Spurs

Vannistelrooy to Spurs

Finally, in proper actually happened news, Nobby Solano has signed for Hartlepool!