Man, you got to love it when the work week goes by and you have the weekend to look forward too. Then of course, thanks to yours truly , you also have Friday Funnies to look forward to. As usual I’ve taken the time to find a nice selection of jokes and as usual I’m hoping they all go over well.

With this weeks Fridays Funnies I have to warn you that there’s going to be some swear words in the following story, so if you think you may be offended, do yourself a favor and do not read beyond this point.

This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you.

Dear Lions Bay School ,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon I am 91 years old and live at the Trafalgar Square Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone and I want to thank you for the kindness shown to a forgotten old lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to fuck off.

Thank you for that opportunity.

Sincerely,

Joan

Mmm, seems that for some old age just helps to make you bitter. Joan, you are a bad girl

The Canadian Crocodile Attack

After last weeks fly eating bullfrogs I thought I’d give you something a little bigger.

You’re going to love this little prank!

Aunty Acid And Men Cartoon

Oh Auntie Acid, you really love to stick it to us men don’t you luv? Never mind, cos we can handle it and we loves ya ll the same.

That’s it guys. I hope you liked this weeks Fridays Funnies and I wish you all a great week end.

Hey guys, welcome to this weeks latest Friday Funnies You know, as time goes by scientists come up with great new gadgets to make peoples lives easier, whether it’s at home, work or even for play. Like everything else jokes tend to move with the times.This particular joke is no different and I can safely say that it absolutely rocks! It actually combines a bit of robotic technology that brings both functionality and perhaps even a bit of naughty fun into the office

If this doesn’t get a smile out of you then you just do not have a sense of humor. Oh, this is one of those jokes that has a moral to it. See if you can work out what it is.

Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techno-geek.

“Hey, bud, how are ya?”

“I’m good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!”

“Well, I’m glad you like her. Believe it or not, she’s a robot!”

“No way, how could that be?”

“Way! She’s the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left boob, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right boob, she types a letter. And that’s not all, she can have sex, too!”

“Holy shit! You’re kidding, right?”

“No, she’s something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her.”

So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming “Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp” Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! eeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!”

The guy says, “Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!”

Hey guys, oh my how time flies when your having fun. You were having fun weren’t you? Oh right, it’s been a hard week at the grind stone and you’ve come here for your weekly dose of laughs. Man, I sure hope I don’t disappoint you because it’s going to be pretty hard to top last weeks Friday Funnies. Still, I pulled out all the stops and I reckon you’re going to this weeks selection of jokes.

Knowing how much you guys love Irish jokes I thought I would start off with one about a few Irishmen who have decided to have sex with Fanny Green.

Fanny Green

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church.

‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.’

The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.

‘Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months.’

This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is this Fanny Green?’

‘A new woman in the neighborhood,’ the sinner replied.

‘Very well,’ sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary’s.

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.

The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, ‘Is that Fanny Green?’

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,

‘No Father, I think it’s just a reflection from her shoes’.

And now from sex with Fanny Green we go to a funny gag video featuring two make believe hookers.

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