AuthorTopic: 2L SA Advice? (Read 1355 times)

there you go, -26. you're welcome. (i was thinking about commending you but that seemed sort of mean ...)

well i think i've been pretty well shored up in teh advice dept. lemme recap

1) don't be a feminine hygiene product (that's a tall order, will have to work on this)2) sleep with as many women as possible at the firm (aye aye captain!) -Q: what if there aren't any reasonably attractive women at the firm? THEN what? lower my alraedy low standards further? gaaah!3) emerge with vitals still intact .. (and no, i'm not talking about circumcision

1. Embezzle office supplies. Thriving market on ebay for them.2. Correct your boss when s/he is wrong. They love to know you have the spine to be a lawyer. Also, make sure you do it in front of others- that's called 'networking'.3. Make sure you put some humor in the briefs! A few cites to cases like Myass v. Yourlips or In re My Boss's STD is always good for laughs. Especially when you forget to remove them before they get sent to court.4. Casual Friday = No Pants Friday.5. Your most indispensible tool is not your briefcase, it's your flask.6. Posting nekkind videos of yourself on the internet does wonders for 'getting your name out there'. Heck, until recently, I didn't even know Brooklyn had a law school!7. If you're invited out after work, make sure you always drink n+1 drinks, where n=the number of drinks consumed by the next biggest drinker. Remember- this is a test. They want to see if you can pass it. 8. Acquire some idiosyncratic habit- bizarre twitches, Elaine (Seinfeld) dancing, uncontrollable swearing, or a mohawk. You need to make sure they remember YOU.

1. Embezzle office supplies. Thriving market on ebay for them.2. Correct your boss when s/he is wrong. They love to know you have the spine to be a lawyer. Also, make sure you do it in front of others- that's called 'networking'.3. Make sure you put some humor in the briefs! A few cites to cases like Myass v. Yourlips or In re My Boss's STD is always good for laughs. Especially when you forget to remove them before they get sent to court.4. Casual Friday = No Pants Friday.5. Your most indispensible tool is not your briefcase, it's your flask.6. Posting nekkind videos of yourself on the internet does wonders for 'getting your name out there'. Heck, until recently, I didn't even know Brooklyn had a law school!7. If you're invited out after work, make sure you always drink n+1 drinks, where n=the number of drinks consumed by the next biggest drinker. Remember- this is a test. They want to see if you can pass it. 8. Acquire some idiosyncratic habit- bizarre twitches, Elaine (Seinfeld) dancing, uncontrollable swearing, or a mohawk. You need to make sure they remember YOU.

Follow those steps and you will be a SUCCESS.

Oh, and sleep around. That's privileged.

LOL Every Jones Day SA will receive a copy of this, I will make sure of that.