Day X+57 -Better late than never

…when it comes to writing and posting this blog entry in the end. For a long while I actually wondered if I am in the mood at all to be writing, or if I had anything do say.

Because lately I wonder if anyone is reading this stuff anyways, because the statistics of my blog tell something different. In the starting time it worked really well, stats were booming and now it is like people are thinking “oh shit, another blog entry again…uhm nope”.

And funnily enough, I am already getting sick and tired of my very own ranting and whining. Because that´s all I do – all day, every day. Pitying myself, curling up on my bed or couch and wondering what to do with life. Except for waiting for the next misery to come over me. Yes, I am that paranoid. It is like…whenever I open my post box I wonder what comes next from the job agency. I am scared to open the post box. I wish I could just seal it and never open it again.

Called the job agency this morning and the lady on the phone was also not really understanding why they think about blocking my money until christmas, and she forwarded the case to the payment department who is reponsible for this misery that caused another neurodermatitis attack and freak outs for me. So I am waiting for a callback, most likely coming somewhen on monday and hopefully with good news.

Because just when I decided on actually doing the project management course, this comes along, making me doubt it would be working to do the course when not earning a single euro – instead I´d then need a job or two to pay for stuff. I just hope it´s gonna be over soon and I can focus on what matters – relaxing. Because though I had planned to relax this week, that hasn´t really worked out ever since these news came in and…let´snot talk about it.

The day today was…well, average. I finally managed my 10.000 steps again a day, but also ate a lot of unheathy stuff and got quite a tad over my daily weight watchers points…buying sweets is just a shitty idea. Really. I should know better now ^^