Grandma's Hand

Let me tell you that my grandma was my idol as a child. A lot of bad
things happened to me and I became a bitter and hateful little girl. My
grandma was the only one of my family to love me, and show it, in spite
of that. My grandma committed suicide when I was eight years old. I
remember the day being September 24, 1990 because my life went from bad
to utter hell. I was an unfeeling person.

I should tell you that I have seen spirits since I was an infant.
I see them pretty much anywhere and all day long. I have always
considered this to be a problem, but after my grandma died, my sole
purpose was to see her again. Funny how the one thing you want most is
the one thing you're least likely to get.

I fell in love with my best friend. He was a nice guy, and was the
first person to break down the barrier. He was the first person I let
inside my heart, since my grandma. It had been 10 years without
emotions. I'm not sure if you understand how it is not to feel any
emotions for 10 years. Well it was a huge shock to my emotional state. I
tried to kill myself. I pushed a knife in right above the main artery,
and was preparing to slice, when I felt a hand on my shoulder, and
breath on my neck. I was so scared that I dropped the knife. I didn't
know what to think when I turned around and saw no one. I decided to
just get it over with when I felt arms surround me (definitely
unnerving), a kiss on my cheek, and I smelt something I hadn't smelled
in a long time. I smelled Wind Song perfume and Charlie bath powder. I
knew at once who had touched me. I thought I would share this
experience, because it is the only paranormal encounter that has ever
meant something to me. Although, I haven't got to see her again I do
hear her voice whispering me to sleep, and I do smell her powder when
things start to go wrong, perhaps she is telling me not to make the same
mistakes that she did.

This has a moral too, although I didn't realize it until just now.
For all of you spirit hunters, the ones that go to séances, and meditate
to open your mind, to those of you who venture out with cameras to catch
a wandering orb, STOP. The things you want so badly happen when you
least expect them. I wanted to see her for so long, and was so angry
that I was seeing everyone but her. She saw fit to come when I needed
her not wanted her. And that is that.