Postcards no substitute for e-mail

July 29, 2008

By Kevin Wilson: CNJ columnist

Just a few ramblings while I wonder if I should see “The Dark Knight” for a fourth time or “Hellboy 2” for the first:

• I sent a postcard to a friend the other day, and I’ve come to realize there’s no better thing to write than, “I’ll e-mail you when I get a chance because I can write more and it won’t be seen by several random mail sorters.”

• You can talk about age of consent, age to marry, drinking age or voting age, but I think you become an adult the first time you go into a carnival and say to yourself, “You know, these games are much more difficult than the presentation suggests, and the prize isn’t worth a fraction of what I’d spend winning it.” You’re never too old, however, to enjoy funnel cake or cotton candy.

• Every time I see an NFL wide receiver boast about how he can’t be defended or openly discuss rifts with his quarterback and/or coach, I just wonder to myself, “How come there aren’t any overconfident, media-friendly prima donna punters?”

• My favorite NFL narrative of the offseason has been, “Team X has not inquired about the possibility of acquiring Brett Favre from the Green Bay Packers, and the coach has said the team remains committed to its starting quarterback. However, the coach declined further comment on the matter, and based on that (and the remaining 15 minutes we have to fill) we believe this team is interested in Brett Favre.”

• Anytime I see a post-game press conference where athletes have their toddler-age kids in their lap, I wonder — are they good parents for including their kids in everything they do, or bad parents for keeping their kids up until midnight so they can be a prop to let the media know they’re family men?

• I watched David Letterman for the first time in months, and I think the existential question for that show has always been, “Why is it that No. 7 on the Top Ten List is always way funnier than the six that follow?”

• I was at a gift shop the other day and saw a board game based on “Monopoly,” except with local landmarks as the board spaces. I think anybody could get a good assessment of their city of residence and themselves by creating that same board game. What landmarks of Clovis and Portales would you include? What would be the low-rent Baltic Avenue replacement, and what would sub for high-rent Boardwalk? And where on the board would your house be?

• When you and your campaign surrogates say your opponent isn’t qualified to be president because he hasn’t made a recent visit to Iraq, and you offer to go to Iraq with him, and your political party’s Web site includes a countdown of days since your opponent last visited Iraq, isn’t it kind of your fault your opponent receives media attention for visiting Iraq?

• I’m not sure what I’d pay more to see — a commercial for a diet product where the person with amazing results isn’t accompanied by the fine print, “Results not typical,” or a commercial where a man throws away all that should matter to him in life for decidedly average beer, and the phrase, “Please drink responsibly” does not follow it.

Kevin Wilson is a columnist for Freedom New Mexico. He can be contacted at 763-3431, ext. 313, or by e-mail: kevin_wilson@link.freedom.com