Before I got on the road on Sunday to get a couple of hours of Ubering in, I made a point to stop by the corner of Clinton Avenue at Myrtle in Clinton Hill Brooklyn where my friend, Carey Gabay, was being honored. Eight months after his passing, a portion of the street where he once lived has been co-named “Carey Gabay Way.” People around the world, from the Pope to President Obama, are familiar with his story, which is largely seen as a gun violence tragedy of epic proportion. But, with days like Sunday afternoon, his legacy is emerging as the catalyst for the type of change we desperately need in this country regarding gun control laws and reform. In short, while celebrating in the early morning of the annual pre-West Indian Day Parade festivities known as J’Ouvert last year, Carey was caught in the crossfire of rival gangs and struck in the head by a stray bullet. His passing on September 15, 2015 has signified the urgency of creating a clear strategy and viable means of eradicating gun violence in New York City.

At the time of his passing, Carey was an aide to Governor Andrew Cuomo serving as First Deputy General Counsel at the Empire State Development Corp. Touted as the quintessential example of the American Dream, he grew up in public housing in the Bronx, the son of parents who immigrated from Jamaica and instilled in him the type of character and work ethic that would serve him throughout his life. Before becoming a part of the fabric of Harvard University as an undergraduate leader then as a Harvard Law School student, he attended Harry S. Truman High School in the Bronx where his interests in law and politics were nurtured as a brilliant young scholar. While he would go on to work in corporate law, his passions for serving his community, and the constituents of New York at large, were surely leading him towards a path as an influential elected official in coming years.

The narrative of Carey Gabay has largely been cast in light of the horrific details behind his murder. Because of that I wanted to write something that would add additional perspective to what we are discussing when we say the name “Carey Gabay.” By all accounts, his loss is a tragedy from which one never truly recovers. His family and those who knew him most dearly continue to navigate the pain of his passing while finding ways to accept a reality without his physical presence in their lives. Yet in recognizing this grief, I am reminded of the words of the poet, Rumi:

Sorrow prepares you for joy.It violently sweeps everything out of your house,
so that new joy can find space to enter.It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh,green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots,so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow.Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart,far better things will take their place.

Therein lies my focus: the fresh seedlings of joy that will blossom in Carey’s honor by continuing the work that he represents. As the street co-naming would indicate, we should begin to shed light on “The Carey Gabay Way” of navigating life. While he is irreplaceable and one of a kind, he has left us with a monumental legacy that will require each person to strive towards the standards he’s set. By doing things the Carey Gabay Way we can become more civically engaged so that we are leveraging our political agency around the community to shift the systems that impact us. We can collectively become involved in legislation behind gun laws and policy reform. We can continue to impact the scholastic aptitude of our youth by referencing his life and accomplishments as an inspiration and model for their own achievement and success in chosen fields. We can be kind, warm-hearted neighbors and generous contributors to our community by supporting minority owned businesses and local empowerment initiatives. We can share a smile or laugh that is just as infectious as Carey’s to everyone with whom we come in contact. We can emanate faith, love, compassion and hard work in all that we do. Because in doing so, we are creating a space for new joys associated with his memory, as well as unearthing the roots of transformative action that he worked towards in order to make New York a better, safer place. That, in fact, IS the Carey Gabay Way.

The co-naming of Clinton Avenue to Carey Gabay Way, an honor that usually occurs three or more years after a person’s passing, took place on May 15, 2016, which would have been his 44th birthday. His name appearing on that street sign, an honor brought about in collaboration with the efforts of his younger brother Aaron McNaughton with the help of New York City Council and the Mayor’s office, is a pledge against gun violence that will undoubtedly be one of many things that lead to the eradication of gun violence in New York City. His brother is also working with the city to create a J’Ouvert task force that will focus on a framework for law enforcement, community members and officials to ensure a safer celebration leading up to the Caribbean Day Parade. Earlier this year, Governor Cuomo announced the Carey Gabay Scholarship Program that will provide full rides to five State University of New York students “who exemplify Carey’s commitment to social justice, leadership, and mentoring, as well as his personal story of succeeding academically despite having an economically disadvantaged background.” The Governor’s Counsel’s office has also created a fellowship in Carey’s name that will be awarded every two years to a mid-career attorney who is committed to public service. The fellow will serve for two years “furthering the Governor’s violence prevention initiatives as well as issues of economic equality and development that Gabay championed throughout his career.” This will enable each fellow to advance the causes and objectives that Carey worked on in Albany, such as helping minority businesses with grants. Finally, the Municipal Fund Scholarship has also been created that will allow graduating high school seniors to complete an internship at a top law firm or investment bank during the summer months. Two out of the 40 students selected for the program will be given scholarships in Carey’s name to attend their respective colleges. These steps towards solidifying Carey’s legacy are just the beginning of preserving his legacy if we all do our part to honor his memory with our own action.

Carey was exemplary in every way. The Carey Gabay Way is Black excellence to the highest degree. He is one of our greatest New Yorkers, who, in my opinion, deserves to be catapulted to legendary status as a public servant. More than a hashtag, a tragic story, and a victim of gun violence (while I have faith that his murderer will be apprehended and convicted), Carey Gabay is a powerful catalyst for the unequivocal shift towards justice, safety and advancement that our city deserves.

That’s why each time I drive down Carey Gabay Way with an Uber passenger, believe that they will get the full story of the street’s renaming from me.

By now, so many of you have caught my HHI episode when it first aired last fall!!! But JUST IN CASE you wanted to check it out (again!)…… I’m finally making it available! 🙂 Here I am with my friends from Brooklyn, Spain and Dubai on one of the greatest adventures I’ve had to date!!! ★♥★

A week ago I was fortunate to be featured on Rolling Out as a young woman making my way through the world, and this week a great friend and greater inspiration of mine takes the spotlight! Rogiérs, international recording artist and partner at Fibby Music Group speaks about his career as a professional artist over the past fifteen years and what he plans to achieve on the world’s stage moving forward! Check out the full interview HERE!!! Congrats, Ro!!! We are all very proud of you!

Also be on the lookout for The Shedding, Rogiérs’ newest studio project! Here’s a sneak peak and an earful of the beautiful music you can expect!

This is why I love my friends!!! They send me precious little reminders that I am loved and missed!! 😀 Already, I’ve gotten thoughtful gifts from London, UK and and Riverside, CA! And THIS is the most recent one all the way from the BRONX, NYC!!! It’s from my favorite New Yorker, Buddy!! He’s one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. “This is a linocut print I have made of the noble flag of your beloved Zamunda! I hope you enjoy displaying your Zamunda pride with this handcrafted piece!” <—I am so geeked right now!! A few summers ago we went to see Coming To America in Thompkins Square Park with about 200 other New Yorkers who quoted EVERY SINGLE FUNNY LINE in the movie!!! That was the best experience ever!! 😀 He’s selling these as a fundraiser for one of his artistic endeavors, so if you’d like one, hit him up!! Thank you, B!! I love it! ♥

I wasn’t entirely sure what it was and if it’d be fun, but I checked out the FB page and said, HECK YEAH, I’M GOING!!! Got a friend on board and met up with this cool crew of folks from all over the world. I gotta say though, most of the crew is from Mexico and those Mexicanitos really know how to have a good time!!!

The fun started on the boat ride from the tiny terminal across from the gorgeous Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi. There’s all kind of construction going on in the area and it’s easy to miss the entry point to the Al Maya Island boats, but once you get through the crowd and construction, it’s a thrilling ten to fifteen minute ride! Our boat was full, and the boat in the distance behind was also transporting folks to the party! I definitely suggest hitting the island up one weekend when you have a whole day to dedicate to beach partying!

Once we got there, we had a VIP table next to this pool and jacuzzi! The seating area has little beach villa beds where you can lay back and relax, but folks were ready to get in the water and find the dance floor, which of course was eventually covered in foam…!

We ended up having a GREAT time meeting folks, dancing in the pool and jacuzzi after foam suds died down! ……Did I say GREAT TIME!??!! I mean like SPRING BREAK!! FREAKNIK! hahah Okay, maybe not Freaknik but definitely FRESHMAN YEAR in college good time!! 😀

We’re definitely trying to hit the next one!! I heard they’re worldwide!! A few other friends of mine have been to Foam Parties in Vegas, Thailand and Los Angeles as well!!!

And anywhere there’s a good time, I’m all the way down!!! Long Live the FOAM!!