I look back at when I was a kid, and I notice how blind I was. It seems like I was inside a shell that blocked the view of Earth.

What does that mean? I sit here, often, feeling like the world is too small. When I was younger, I thought there was so much more to life: I thought doctors knew everything about the body, and they did all that surgery and stuff right (while today I know that each doctor was once a kid like me deciding what to do with his life. I look at the Internet and computer. They were so complex to me. I had no idea how they worked. I just keep learning more and more about it and the more I learn, the smaller it seems. I want it to be more complex. I want there to be more. And most of all, I want to be able to understand it all without feeling this way.

Even things like guitar, learning where all the notes are on the guitar really bugged the shit out of me. Now all I see when I'm playing is G's and F's and octaves, and I'm less creative. I have lost interest in guitar...

Sex, I thought, was more than it is. I expected a certain feeling, a certain level of romance, and I got everything but that. And worst of all, I'm now a sex addict.

Moving to South Dakota, I think, is what really opened my eyes. I saw how small life can be. I hate living in a trailor park in the middle of nowhere, and having to drive 15 minutes in the wasteland all the way to school. I hate the ****ing little town I go to school in. I can't wait to be done and go to a college, which is much larger! (because I think it will give me what I need)

The only things I haven't lost interest in are writing visual art. Drawing, painting, 3d stuff, photoshop, 3d max, stuff like that. I enjoy making things out of wood. I love it. I've been doing it since I was 4 years old, and I'm still amazed by it.

I still have a few hobbies I enjoy, like videogames, fishing, shit like that. I like guns and stuff...

Am I just depressed? Is it senioritis? What can I do to feel better?

Kiechi

11-03-07, 09:24 PM

"I look back at when I was a kid, and I notice how blind I was. It seems like I was inside a shell that blocked the view of Earth.

What does that mean?"

It means you were sheltered. It's pretty much the same for every kid at a young age. As you grow up, you become more exposed to the outside world until you reach the point where you just want to crawl back up your mothers snatch and sleep your life away.

notxperfect

11-03-07, 09:36 PM

I dont think your depressed.
I think your bored.
I feel the same sometimes - and no matter how much knowledge you know and how many expiriences you have had there are always new things to do, see, have etc.

You just need to search for extra, its a long rocky path but in the end you will become content in yourself and enjoy the things you do have and have done.

Good luck in finding whatever it is you want to do!
Amy xxx

TDurden

12-03-07, 03:21 AM

Unless you're just really bad at phrasing, what it sounds like you're saying is that you've experienced most of the experiences of the world. If that's the case then stop for a minute and think about this little fact: you're 18. In the grand scheme of things you've experienced next to nothing and are still living an incredibly sheltered life. Get out more and you'll see that.

If it was just poor phrasing on your part and you're simply feeling bored with your life then my advice still stands: get out more.

clynn

13-03-07, 03:51 PM

Bring on college!

You're gonna love it lilwing!

Gigabitch

14-03-07, 11:09 AM

Your life is about to open up like a rose. Of course you're tired of your current existence. Sounds like it sucks. It won't always be like this.

anachronistic

14-03-07, 01:18 PM

The past two days, after work, I went and helped a friend fix his pickup truck (old ass dodge) and then went mud bogging with him. We got stuck a few times but we got ourselves out.

I've come home muddy, but a little happier than the usual sit-at-home all alone guy I usually am. We also played some music today. I made a good guitar progression, and a few good basslines.

The Great OV!!!

14-03-07, 01:34 PM

I look back at when I was a kid, and I notice how blind I was. It seems like I was inside a shell that blocked the view of Earth.

I hear you man. :(

allflowerz

05-04-07, 09:12 AM

I'd say just try looking at things differently, theres a lot of people in big cities dreaming about the middle of nowhere.

Junket

05-04-07, 10:06 AM

The world is bigger than you give it credit for.

anachronistic

05-04-07, 12:35 PM

sometimes i wish i could live in one of my dreams for a day, and other times i just want to bathe in reality. know what i'm sayin'?