If you’re not too terrified, you can live with this man in a London mansion

In London there is man with a £3 million mansion. In London there is a man with a £3 million mansion with six bedrooms, complete with a music room, garden room and disco lounge. In London there is a man with a £3 million mansion which comes with an array of stuffed animals including a bear and two peacocks. In London there is this man with this £3 million, Grade II listed mansion, with its disco lounge and its stuffed bear – and this man would like you to live with him.

Here comes your man

The twist is that you can pay almost anything you want for a spare room in his £3 million mansion. The owner, 41-year-old Rupert Hunt, who founded the flatshare website SpareRoom, is willing to accept offers from anything as little as £1 to £1,000 for each of the rooms in the property.

He’s made a video to explain what’s going on and you should invest some of the precious remaining time you have before you fade into dusty nothingness and rejoin the great cosmic ballet we call the universe in watching it:

My question: why is this so terrifying? Why do I watch this and think I’d rather get a rental in Raqqa or Pyongyang or Acton than hang out with Rupert in his disco lounge? It could be the name Rupert itself, which is a name for boys who are breastfed until they’re ten, who keep teddy bears under their pillows well into their 20s. Maybe it’s the way Rupert rattles off a series of duh-isms about how living with other people is better than living alone. Maybe it’s how he says “moderately tidy, moderately untidy” in a way that makes you think he’s one of those blokes who doesn’t throw away the cardboard bit in the middle of the toilet roll, just letting them pile up and up and up until there’s a pyramid of them next to the bog brush and you finally scream down those creaky stairs RUPERT COULD YOU CLEAN UP THESE FUCKING BITS OF CARDBOARD. Maybe it’s the way he literally puts a webcam in the mouth of a literal stuffed bear.

This isn’t creepy right

The 41-year-old told The Independent he was open to living with almost anyone, as long as they had a good rapport, shared interests and similar habits such as “attitude to washing up”. There’s another catch though, whoever takes up the houseshare must be prepared to feature in Rupert’s continuing YouTube adventures. The aim being to promote the benefits of living with people. Wouldn’t it be funny if no one applied, if this man was left putting up webcams in his £3 million London mansion, as the housing market eats itself.