King Jimmy and Bad Preaching: Laugh So You Don’t Cry Edition

I ran across this amazing video. What’s a little stupidity to go with your Sunday sermon?

Two of my favorite points in the video. First, he says the amazing heretical statement, “You have to do something to be saved.” I’m no Calvinism apologist, but that’s ridiculous.

Second, he says the word “sovereign” doesn’t occur a single time in the Bible. He meant to say the word “sovereign” does not occur in the King James translation of the Bible (“If the King’s not on it, the King’s not in it”). In other translations the word “sovereign” occurs hundreds of time. FYI, no English words occur in the Christian Bible.

After watching this a few minutes I remember another terrible preacher who had a King Jimmy fetish. I’m pretty sure it’s the same man!

“A man is someone who pisses against a wall.” Yeah, he just said that… OUT LOUD. Did you hear it? Preachers who don’t piss against the wall, “that’s what’s wrong with America.” I’m sure the three people in the audience are as confused as the rest of us.

At this point we can all just hang our heads in shame and realize Christians such as this are “what’s wrong with America.”

HE HAS DEFINTELY HIT A DRY TIME IF THAT IS THE ONLY SUBJECT HE COULD FIND TO PREACH ON. I WOULD HAVE WALKED OUT IF WAS THERE. RIDICULOUS. THE 3 SOULS IN HIS CONGREGATION NEED OUR PRAYERS TO GET OUT OF THERE! RUN, FORREST, RUN!!!!!

Lectern kicking sermon: I find it so ironic that he said, “You have to know the Bible to preach.” Also…I think he has a thing for Scandinavian countries…Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland?

Pissing Sermon: I had no idea that the president and the editors of the NIV pee sitting down! Oh my goodness…that is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. I truly hope that they are taping the sermon to show the “pastor” (I use that term very loosely) how crazy he sounds.

I really like how he uses Genesis 5:5 and Acts 5:5 as evidence that 5 is the number “of death” in the Bible. Clearly the writers of these books had the chapter/verse numbers in mind when they were noting a particular person’s death…