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Welcome to the Hondo Financial Wellness Center. Mr. Aitch rewarded his devotees and himself yesterday by correctly forecasting a Padre victory at the big Citi, but the Braves were overmatched against Cliff Lee last night so the wad shrunk ever so slightly to 95 burdettes.

Tonight, he is carin’ about Haren — 10 units on the Nats bats to bash Bailey.

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Hillary Clinton reportedly has a book in the works about world affairs. It’s unclear whether it will be about her term as Secretary of State or Bill’s love life … Speaking of Bill, a Ukrainian feminist group called Femen staged an event throughout Europe yesterday called International Topless Jihad Day. Hondo hears the founder of the Clinton Global Initiative saw the photos and was moved to approve, shouting: NOW THAT’S MY KIND OF JIHAD!!! … John Kerry has joined Obama in pledging to donate five percent of his salary to show solidarity with furloughed federal workers. Don’t count on Joe “Gaffe Machine” Biden being as generous. Chances are the notoriously cheap veep, who for a 10-year span starting in 1998 gave away an average of $369, will continue to hoard.