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So in this episode I talk about fitness in more than just the physical sense but also how I can relate to the feeling of steadiness. Physical awareness supports mental and emotional steadiness and having a firm foundation.

DAILY INSIGHT Did you know that moving house is up there with the top most stressful experiences in life? Shifting your life from under one roof to another can bring up a whole host of unexpected emotions, and has your cortisol stress hormone levels rising high. Have you moved recently — or are you planning a relocation soon? If so, it’s important to integrate some crucial self care into the transition.
DAILY ACTION Care for your mind and emotions during a house move. Even moving a few blocks away has an important impact on your stress levels; but moving to a new town, city, region or country is more likely to affect your mental health. Make a commitment to yourself to pause and breathe; and once you’re in your new home, put some comforting rituals in place to help you settle in.
Simple actions like finding a shop or cafe you like that you can go to every day or two, creating familiarity; unpacking your favorite coffee mug right away; and taking time to sit and be present in very corner of your new space; can help to ease the intensity of change.

DAILY INSIGHT The sun helps you sleep. A study by psychiatrists Campbell, Dawson and Anderson found that bright light exposure during the day time improves sleep quality and duration, and shortens the time it takes to fall asleep by 83%. It doesn’t have to be sunlight; artificial bright lights that simulate the experience of natural light have marked positive effects, too.
DAILY ACTION Get outside! Ideally, we’d all spend a few hours every single day outside, allowing our bodies to fall into rhythm with our environment. If a few hours aren’t possible, do what you can. Get out for a short walk, or sit by an open window if you really need to be inside.

Meditate with your body for one minute! Right now.
Place both hands on your ribcage, with your fingertips just touching in the center. Slow down the breath and notice the way the ribcage expands and relaxes with each inhale and exhale. As you breathe in, the fingertips move away from each other. As you breathe out, the fingertips drop closer together.
Then, move your hands around so that your arms are crossed — and if you’re hugging yourself. Your palms press into the sides of the ribs and your fingertips might reach around towards the back of the ribcage.
Feel the breath here. Expansion on the inhale; and the lift of the shoulders. Relaxation and softening on the exhale. Take five more deep breaths before you release.

DAILY INSIGHT Creating new beliefs is a powerful way to shift your mindset. It may sound too simple — but over and over again, influential people in all fields of life show us that the beliefs you choose really can become your truth. Think Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey and Jeff Bezos. They have all spoken about choosing the beliefs they focus on; and they’ve all achieved incredible things as a result.
DAILY ACTION Create a compelling belief to begin reshaping your mindset. Compose a belief that directly addresses a limitation that holds you back right now. If you struggle with low self-esteem, create a belief that speaks to your innate worthiness; a belief that you are valuable and capable. If you struggle with low mood, anxiety, or even depression, create a belief that you WILL feel joyful and fulfilled. It may not become your reality immediately, but by building and then repeating that belief to yourself, you will begin to move towards positive change.

DAILY INSIGHT In terms of self-image, our bodies are more complicated to us than to anyone else who sees them. Each of us notices every imperfection — if there’s any such thing as an imperfection — and worries about the details of our physical body. Some of us worry so much that thoughts about our bodies are exhausting. But nobody else sees your body the way you do. To others, your body is more simple; its details are less obvious, and more beautiful.
If you stopped worrying about your body, what could you do with all that extra thought power?
DAILY ACTION Think about how you see other people’s bodies. Is it simpler than the way you see your own? Imagine talking to yourself about your body worries as if you were talking to a friend about theirs. You’d tell them they’re perfect just the way they are, wouldn’t you?

DAILY INSIGHT Are you craving a loving relationship? Studies show that one of the factors involved in falling in love is ‘propinquity’; that is, familiarity that comes about because you spend time with the other person, live near them, or think about them frequently.
DAILY ACTION If there are (preferably single) people in your life who you spend lots of time with, or who you think about a lot, don’t suppress feelings that may grow for them. Lots of us push away flickers or romantic intrigue about people we already know — we tell ourselves that it’s not possible, that it would compromise friendships, that it would be too strange. But lots of incredibly strong and loving relationships grow from less intense connections. Be open to the intrigue, and if it’s reciprocated, give yourself a chance to explore it.

DAILY INSIGHT If you’re an entrepreneur or business owner, being visible in your business can be a key factor in your ability to build trust with clients. If they can see you, hear your voice, and get to know your opinions, they are more likely to want to work with you. They know who you are.
How comfortable are you with being visible in your business? Do you show your face?
DAILY ACTION Do one thing to make yourself more visible. That might be…posting a video of you talking, sharing an opinion, on social media. Launching social media accounts if you don’t already have them. Making a podcast; sharing something personal about your life experience; or even just posting a headshot on your website if you haven’t yet done that. Put yourself out there.

Have you heard of autogenics? Developed by a German psychiatrist, it’s a relaxation training technique which anyone can learn — and it’s effective for easing feelings of stress and anxiety. It works by using a series of statements that create feelings of heaviness and warmth in different areas of the body. This has a relaxing effect on the nervous system.
Autogenic training is known to reduce the experience of anxiety and help you to feel calm in situations that you might usually find very stressful — such as social events or performances. It becomes more effective the more you practice it. So eventually a simple, single statement could be enough to induce a conditioned state of relaxation at any time.

DAILY INSIGHT: Research published by the Sleep Foundation shows that meditation could be the perfect tonic for insomnia. Deep relaxation through meditation has been found to increase the amount of time you spend asleep; improve the quality of your sleep; and make it easier to fall asleep. This is particularly exciting because meditation is completely safe and brings lots of other brilliant benefits into your life at the same time. And you can safely combine it with other sleep techniques, too.
DAILY ACTION: You guessed it — try meditating today. If you’re not sure where to start, wait for our practice-focused post at the end of this week. We’ll share a simple meditation technique that’s perfect for sleep.

When you wake up tomorrow morning, try this.
Acknowledge that you’ve woken up: open your eyes, have a stretch, and mentally welcome the day. But instead of a) getting up right away, or b) rolling over and drifting back to sleep, set a timer on your watch or phone for 3 minutes and then close your eyes again.
For the duration of those 3 minutes, notice every sound and sensation that comes your way. You might notice sounds from outside of the window or from elsewhere in the house; the texture of sheets against your skin; or the temperature of the air around you compared with the warmth of your body in bed.
Keep noticing.
And then when the timer goes off, take a deep breath; open your eyes; and get out of bed. You will start the day having already meditated — and an underlying sense of calm and steadiness will stay with you all day.

DAILY INSIGHT: “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” —Lao Tzu.
It’s important to loosen your grip on who you think you should be in order to welcome your true potential. Have you ever badly wanted something — like a job, or a partner, or an experience — that just didn't fit with who you think you are? Many of us don’t pursue our dreams because we worry they might project the wrong image, or force us to question our identity.
DAILY ACTION: Take a moment to acknowledge that who you are right now has grown from everything that has happened in your life, up to this point. But that doesn’t mean that you have to stay the same. If you allow difference experiences into your life, you could become something even better; even more beautiful. Accept change and become who you might be.

DAILY INSIGHT: Yoga teacher John Stirk has made a number of discoveries in his decades of practice. In his book The Original Body, he urges us to practice primal movement. You can start by taking the time to move slowly, as if you’re moving for the very first time. In doing so you can begin to shed the layers of conditioning that affect every physical expression you make in daily life. And then you can access a new experience of your body, and its relationship with your mind.
What kind of movement makes you feel free?
DAILY ACTION: Lie down on the floor with your knees bent and your feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes and rest your hands on your chest. And then when you feel moved to do so…move. Slowly. Spend a few minutes here, allowing your hands and legs to move in space as if exploring your environment anew.

DAILY INSIGHT Cultivating deeper, more fulfilling relationships can start with you. How you feel about other people has a direct impact on the subtle ways you interact with them, even if you’re making an effort to hide your feelings. That friend you’ve always been a bit jealous of? The mother-in-law you feel threatened by? Those feelings are affecting your relationships.
DAILY ACTION Draw more kindness and gentleness into your connections by doing nice things for them without their knowledge. Little things count; just small deeds that they’ll never know you did, but that give YOU the feeling of having done something caring for them. This simple practice creates new neurological connections in your brain which can override the uncomfortable feelings — so that, in time, you feel more love, compassion, and ease within these relationships.

DAILY INSIGHT Success in a career is about more than just trying your best. Expectations play a huge roll in what does and doesn’t work. People who expect positive results are more likely to achieve them.
DAILY ACTION Flip a thought. Think of something you’re working on at the moment, or something you’d like to start working on. Allow any negative thoughts you have about that project come into your mind; there’s no point in banishing all negative thoughts, because they’re an important part of your brain’s workings. Welcome them; notice them. And then flip them. Replace each negative thought about the project with a positive one. For example, ‘I don’t have time to do that thing,’ might become, ‘What I want to do requires lots of focus, so I can move other things around to make room for it.’

DAILY INSIGHT This too shall pass. You might’ve heard this a thousand times before but don’t let the cliché stop you from hearing the truth. This – whatever this is, right now – will pass. That goes for emotions as well as external experiences. Emotions come and go, roll and change, and you don’t always have to solve them.
DAILY ACTION If you’re experiencing difficult, intense emotions, see if you can let them be. Instead of trying to find a solution, just remind yourself that these emotions will pass. You will not feel like this later, or tomorrow, or next week/month/year. Allow the emotions in and accept that they will change because…there’s no way but change.

In 2018 an ambitious global sleep study drew data from more than 10,000 participants. Among the findings was this interesting takeaway: both too little sleep and too much leaves has a negative impact on our brain function.
Scientists suggest that actually, sticking to a consistent sleep schedule is more important than the duration of your sleep. Sleeping for roughly the same number of hours each night will improve your cognitive performance during the day and support good health, too.
The study found that overall, 7-8 hours of sleep per night is optimum for brain function. People who slept less than 7 hours or more than 8 hours had an almost identical reduction in cognitive performance. So oversleeping — known as hypersomnia — is potentially just as problematic as undersleeping.

Meditation practice doesn’t always have to be silent. Today, choose a song that you love. Maybe an old favorite, or a track you’ve been hearing a lot lately that always makes you feel uplifted.
Settle down in a seated position — either on the floor or on a chair — and use headphones to listen to the music. Close your eyes.
And for the duration of the track listen with focused, conscious awareness.
Each time your mind wanders, notice it. It’s normal and inevitable that your mind will wander. Allow it to happen and allow thoughts and emotions to come, and to pass. And then gently bring the awareness back to the song.
Keep concentrating until the track is over. There is no outcome that you need to achieve from this; nothing you need to do but listen; and exist in this moment, with this music.

DAILY INSIGHT Reconnecting with an old friend, or even an acquaintance who you have only positive feelings towards, is a powerful way to lift your mood. Not only that, but it helps to cultivate a mindset of potential; because you are reaching beyond your current experience and drawing warmth into your life.
Is there someone you have only good memories of who you’d like to reconnect with?
DAILY ACTION Text or call them. (or email, Whatsapp…whatever works!)

DAILY INSIGHT:
Empathy isn’t just in the mind. Studies show that dancers, who are extensively trained in physical movement and interaction, have heightened skills of embodied empathy. Neurophysiologists have found that touch is central to interactions between people, and that understanding the emotions of others through physical movement and touch allows for more positive and emotionally supportive relationships.
Dancers spend years moving in relation to other people. They develop the ability to intuitively adapt the way they touch to others based on the body language and touch-language they read. And they gain an enhanced understanding of physical boundaries; they have felt for themselves when a personal boundary has been crossed, and they can read the signs that other people transmit when their own boundaries have been compromised.
In a world in which our online lives are becoming as prevalent as our offline lives, let’s prioritize physical experiences.
DAILY ACTION:
Go to a dance class; an acroyoga class; a martial arts class. Enter spaces in which you can cultivate your own skills of embodied empathy.

DAILY INSIGHT Comfort is not always the best option. Sometimes, stepping out of your comfort zone and being courageously open and vulnerable is the catalyst for incredible positive change. Brené Brown reminds us that being emotionally vulnerable does NOT mean you’re not courageous. Laying yourself bare and accepting that you can’t control all of the consequences is a radical and daring act.
Speaking of which, have you seen Brené Brown’s new documentary on Netflix? We recommend it.
DAILY ACTION Choose courage today. Tell someone a secret you’ve been guarding closely. Choose your confidant carefully; make sure it’s someone who will listen without judging, and who isn’t in the habit of gossiping. And go for it. Lay yourself bare. How does it feel?

Shawn Anchor’s work teaches us instead of working hard in order to be happy, we should cultivate happiness in our lives so that we can work more effectively.
We already mentioned that happiness releases dopamine in the body, which increases happy feelings and increases the learning function of your brain.
But what could this mean for your career?
Well; have you stayed in the same job for years even though it makes you miserable? Do you stay because you believe that working hard and enduring everything that’s bad about it will, eventually, lead to success and happiness?
If so, Anchor’s research could be the key to a new door that you’ve been waiting for. When you’re struggling through each day you are not experience those floods of dopamine which would allow you to come up with new ideas and think in innovative ways. Create success by experiencing happiness — even if that means making a bold move.

Be silly. Be playful. It will make your life better — it sounds so simple, but it’s true. Silliness is a huge factor in living well! Take Albert Einstein. One of the greatest physicists of all time; a nobel prize winner who developed the general theory of relativity. He’s known as a genius; a beacon of enlightened intelligence.
But did you know that one of the most-published press photographs of Einstein (and some argue, the most famous press photo of any important public figure in the 20th century) shows him wide-eyed and sticking his tongue out. The shot was snapped by photographer Arthur Sasse after Einstein’s 72nd birthday party. And people love it — we all love it — because it’s an image of a serious, respected person not taking life too seriously.

Have you heard of somniphobia? It’s the fear of going to sleep. And it’s a genuine phobia that lots of people have — although it’s rarely discussed. Somniphobia is most common among children who develop the fear after experiencing bad dreams. They’re afraid of falling asleep because they might have another nightmare.
The same is true for some adults; and this phobia is also found among people who have sleep disorders, such as sleep apnea, which cause them to wake up from sleep feeling very distressed.
But some people have somniphobia with no obvious cause at all. If you feel scared of going to sleep, you’re not alone. Learn more about this phobia and seek help if you need to. Researchers have found that somniphobia can be overcome with support — so you can sleep peacefully again.

DAILY INSIGHT Using simple, grounding hand positions (known as mudras) can help to calm your body and mind at any time. One mudra in particular, typical of Buddhist meditation practice, is an easy yet powerful way to relax the body and encourage peaceful contemplation. It helps the arms and shoulders to relax, which in turn tells your nervous system that all is well, and reduces the release of stress hormones. You can use it during a meditation practice, but you can also use it at your desk; on the train; or while you’re taking a moment of stillness during a busy day.
DAILY ACTION With both palms facing up, place your right hand on top of the left. Rest the backs of the hands on your legs, wherever they comfortably fall, and allow the tips of the thumbs to touch one another. Focus your awareness on the hands for a few breaths and feel the flow of calm energy that passes through them.

‘Low effort syndrome’ is a term that describes an important aspect of a fixed mindset. In brief, it is the refusal to work hard and put in effort when there is the potential for a perceived failure. Making an effort to succeed makes you vulnerable; because if you don’t succeed, your flaws or limitations are there for the world to see.
So people living from a fixed mindset experience low effort syndrome. They mask their low effort as a desire to have a relaxed, easy life — they say they just don’t want to have to work hard. They want to coast. But what lies beneath that is a fear of failure.
In contrast, people with a growth mindset know that failing does not make them a failure, or a loser. They work, and put in effort, with an understanding that no matter the outcome of their efforts, they will learn and grow.

Working out doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. While hitting it at the gym works for some, it doesn’t suit others. But studies on the physical benefits of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu remind us that there are always other ways to get fit. Jiu-Jitsu involves intermittent high, moderate and low intensity activity which requires serious conditioning.
This grappling combat sport has been proven to build muscle strength and flexibility, lower blood pressure, improve sleep and help to manage moods and emotions. It can be particularly beneficial for men who feel an intense need to express the aggressive aspects of their physicality — and who might struggle with a variety of mental health issues without an opportunity to do so.

Have you seen the list of questions that will make you fall in love? Psychologist Arthur Aron created a list of 36 questions specifically designed to create intimacy between strangers. The questions are divided into 3 sets — with each set more personal and probing than the last.
Aron and colleagues argue that by creating a sense of vulnerability for both people, these questions can stimulate feelings of love. The growing intensity of the questions reflects the way that intimate relationships develop — but by asking these questions in sequence, the experience of intimacy is speeded up.
These questions may or may not help you and your potential partner — or current partner — fall deeply in love. But they make for a fun evening together either way!

How do you talk about money? Do you speak about it openly? What kind of language do you use when you talk about money — is it mostly negative, mostly positive, or balanced?
As we grow up, we absorb impressions from everyone around us. And many of us integrate an understanding of money that holds us back in later life. For example, you might subconsciously learn that money is bad, or that it’s greedy to want money, or that people like you don’t earn much money.
The way the adults around you talked about money when you were a kid probably still influences how you think about money today. Subtle things like secrecy between parents regarding their spending; justification of purchases; and negative phrases about money all get into our minds and stick with us.
You can change the way you feel about money to welcome it into your life more easily. Start with this question: how much do you truly want to earn?

How are you feeling right now? What one word describes your emotions about the day ahead.
We hope you’re feeling ready; calm; maybe even excited. But if your feelings are low or you’re anticipating challenges or anxiety today, take a moment right now to let that go.
Take a deep breath in and breathe in that feeling. Breathe it deep into your body. And then hold the breath for a few seconds; holding that feeling inside.
Then exhale and let that feeling go. Breathe it out. Expel all of the air from your body — and as the air leaves, so does the feeling.
You can do today. You’ve got this - and we’re rooting for you.

The largest global sleep study ever undertaken included 10,000 participants aged from 18 to 100. Analyzing data from people of such different ages allowed researchers to bust a common sleep myth: that sleep is less important for your brain function as you get older.
Ever heard someone say that they need less sleep than they used to because they’re over 50, or over 60? It’s not true. The study found no difference whatsoever in the effect that sleep disruption, too much sleep, or lack of sleep, had on cognitive performance across ages. Sleeping too little or sleeping too much affects the way your brain works no matter how old you are.
A regular sleep routine isn’t only important for teenagers and people in their early 20s. It’s ALWAYS important.

Where are you?
Notice.
Notice the ground beneath your feet. The walls or the space around you. Allow your eyes to blur a little and become aware of colors and shapes within your field of vision. And then focus your eyes and notice distinct objects; notice details. Become aware of a leaf on the ground or a mark on the wall and concentrate on it for a moment.
Become aware of the textures you can feel against your skin. The sounds you can hear close to you, and further away. Notice how the space around you smells — subtle scents or stronger ones. Notice your breath. The gentle movement of your spine with each inhale and exhale.
You are here. You are present. Notice.

DAILY INSIGHT Earlier this week we talked about using stories, and the power of your imagination, to help you fall asleep happily. You can also use your storytelling skills to improve your state of mind at any other time. We all have stories on repeat; those negative stories that keep us small (like that story about that person who said you weren’t good at coloring in when you were 5, which irrationally reaffirms the limiting belief that you’re bad at art…etc.); and those positive stories that make us feel good.
DAILY ACTION Create a new positive story for yourself today. You don’t have to wait for other people to create them for you. Start at the end: how do you want to feel? And work backwards. What would make you feel like that? What has made you feel like that in the past? How did you do that thing? What does the fact that you DID that thing prove about what you’re capable of? Write a story — either based on real life events, or completely within your imagination — that makes you feel the feelings you most want to feel. Be empowered to create those emotions for yourself.

Different intensity of exercise has a different effect on the brain. Extensive research over the course of decades has shown that physical exercise causes functional and structural changes in the human brain — which massively benefit cognitive function and overall wellbeing.
But a relatively new discovery by Chang and Etnier illuminates an interesting difference. High intensity exercise increases the speed of information processing — so you can absorb and interpret external input faster, in the short term. And moderate intensity exercise improves the performance of memory and cognitive flexibility; allowing you to store and recall memories more easily.

Neuroscientist and social psychologist Matthew Lieberman writes that close relationships are essential in order for a person to thrive in life. But those close relationships and intimate connections are more and more absent for many of us. In the words of Aristotle, “Man is by nature a social animal…anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.”
According to Lieberman, the primary purpose of the human brain is social thinking. Animals with complex social lives have the largest brains. Elephants have big brains, and we humans have the largest brain relative to body of any animal. Scientists like Lieberman argue that this is no coincidence; our brains are big because we need to connect deeply with other beings.

In the early stages of a new career, many people get stuck in a cycle of needing to gain experience, but not yet having enough experience to get the jobs or projects that will give them that experience. You can’t get the job because you don’t have the experience. But you can’t gain the experience if you don’t get the job.
To counter this, talent expert Jason Shen encourages you to highlight your ability, not your experience. He argues that hiring systems that only value experience miss out on a wealth of fresh, untapped talent.
He suggests expanding your search beyond the conventional channels; look for work in unlikely places. Increasingly, young and progressive companies are hiring based on portfolios rather than resumes. Because they know that experience does not always guarantee talent — but passion and solid work samples do.

What winds you up? What thought or what kind of experiences make you feel tense, stressed, frustrated or even angry?
Understanding the root of intense emotions is key to managing them skillfully. You don’t have to suppress or hide your emotions. Instead, recognize their roots and allow yourself to be good at dealing with them.
So today we give you this mantra: I am becoming highly skilled at managing my emotions. You are developing your skill every day so that you can remain steady no matter what is going on around you or within you. This skill will cultivate resilience — because you know you are capable of recovering from anything.

How’s your sleep? The hormone melatonin is naturally produced in the body as a response to darkness, and is crucial for regulating sleep. If you’re exposed to high levels of light for many hours each day — for example, if you work long hours in front of a screen or spend your evenings in a brightly lit environment — then you could become deficient in melatonin. This causes trouble getting to sleep, or disrupted sleep; and sometimes leads to chronic insomnia.
The first solution is always in altering elements of your lifestyle. But if you have adjusted your light exposure and put effort into creating a healthy sleep routine but you’re still struggling to sleep, you could try taking a melatonin supplement. The hormone signals to the body that it’s time to prepare for sleep, so boosting your levels of melatonin might help you to fall asleep more easily or to stay asleep for longer.

This is a practice to share with a friend. So once you’ve tried it yourself, tag someone who you think deserves to acknowledge how brilliant they are today!
Close your eyes and place your right hand on your chest. Take a few moments to notice your breath. Become aware of the way your hand rises and falls as your chest rises and falls.
And then call to mind something you’ve felt proud of in the last week. It could be a small achievement or something big; something as simple as making someone smile, or something completely life changing. It doesn’t matter what the thing is. What matters is that you felt proud of yourself for doing it.
Hold that feeling beneath the hand on your chest. Holding that sense of pride within your heart. Breathe with it for 30 seconds. Breathe with the knowledge that you are doing well and everything is unfolding as it should.

In an inspirational Ted Talk, psychologist Shawn Anchor suggests that we might be looking at the relationship between work and happiness the wrong way round.
Most of us work with a mindset that tells us happiness will come as a result of working hard. If we put in effort we’ll find success — and then we’ll experience happiness. But Anchor argues it’s actually happiness itself that inspires productivity.
Reverse the formula and seek to put the focus on the effort and not the outcome and let happiness be the by product. No expectations. Why? Because you will experience increased positive emotions because you’ve set your expectations low and allowed the result to be a curious reveal to you. Your body will more likely be flooded with a hormone called dopamine. This in turn makes you even happier — but it also turns on all the “learning centers” in your brain, which allows you to learn, adapt, and find new ways of working. So, relax and learn to love the process and let happiness find you and not the other way around.

As well as improving your physical health, lots of plant-based foods can also improve your mood. Bananas are rich with vitamins A, B6 and C; iron and phosphorous; and also contain the amino acid tryptophan. That combination of nutrients means that the body can easily convert tryptophan from bananas into serotonin; a hormone proven to help you feel happy.
Your body struggles to produce serotonin if you’re deficient in B vitamins. So spinach and broccoli, vegetables which are both those vitamins, will help your body to process nutrients from other foods and maintain healthy levels of uplifting hormones. A single cup of cooked spinach contains almost 30% of your daily recommended B vitamins.

Anthropologists suggest that storytelling is a vital part of the way humans connect with one another. Storytelling is a communication form that exists across cultures. We use it to share information; to form and sustain bonds with other people; and to process information within our own minds.
And stories pass a sense of connection through generations, too. Stories are used to pass down knowledge about places and spaces; about the land we live on, the dangers and possibilities available to us. The stories that were told to you as a child have informed the way you understand the world today.
Telling stories to other people is never a waste of time. Neither is listening. By sharing the human act of storytelling you can experience more profound connection in life — connection with other people, with places, with your history, and with yourself.

Are you a creative person or creative professional? Do you feel a sense of disconnect between your process and your product?
Anthropologist Stephanie Bunn argues that too much focus is placed on the end product of a creative process. When for the maker, it is the journey that is most meaningful. Once they’re made, products of all kinds go on to have complex social lives and develop their own material histories. But what about while they’re being made? What about the maker?
Bunn writes that “making is an embodied relationship with something outside of ourselves.” It’s not about the product. It’s about the process; about working with materials, feeling what that feels like, and the sense of self and identity that making creates. Focus on the process and the product might just take care of itself.

What is the most calming and uplifting thought you’ve had today? Tell us in the comments — your thought might improve someone else’s day!
Studies show that stress and anxiety are self-perpetuating. The more you focus on a stressful thought, the more your mind will create additional stressful thoughts. It’s a cascade of negativity which can lead to intense anxiety.
If your mind has the tendency to do this, it won’t change overnight. But by interrupting that cascade you can begin the process of shifting your mind towards optimism and away from anxiety.
How do you interrupt it? When a positive thought arises, focus on it. Repeat it to yourself all day. Hold onto it more tightly than you hold onto the stressful thoughts.

In his book Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, neuroscientist Matthew Walker explains that dreaming is not just a side effect of sleep. Dreams actually play an important role in our wellbeing.
He writes that dreaming is like therapy that happens every single night. And he argues that instead of time healing all wounds, it is the time we spend dreaming that heals emotional and psychological pain. REM sleep (the stage of sleep in which you dream) is the only time when the brain is completely free from the molecule noradrenaline, which causes anxiety.
And in this neurologically peaceful state, emotional and memory structures of the brain are activated within REM sleep in the form of dreams. What does that mean? The brain is remembering and processing emotions and events without any of the primary stress chemical. So those memories can be re-processed in a calmer, safer brain state.

The following words were written by Gangaji, an American spiritual teacher. Read them slowly while breathing steadily. Read them again; absorbing the meaning of each word into your mind. And then close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths as the words settle into your subconscious.
“Be still and know yourself as the Truth you have been searching for. Be still and let the inherent joy of that Truth capture your drama and destroy it in the bliss of consummation. Be still and let your life be lived by the purpose you were made for. Be still and receive the inherent truth of your heart.”
Let these words speak to your inner wisdom; to your intuition; and to your open heart.

Don’t think of a purple elephant! Did you just…think of a purple elephant? This is called the ‘ironic process theory’. It’s a kind of psychology paradox: if you’re trying to avoid thinking about something in particular, you’re more likely to think about that thing.
Theorists suggest that it’s very simple: in order to know what thoughts you want to avoid, you have to think those thoughts. And when we think bigger than a purple elephant, this means that by trying to stop yourself thinking negative thoughts or focusing on negative emotions, you might actually heighten the power of those thoughts.
Instead of suppressing the thoughts you don’t want you can work on replacing them. Allow yourself acknowledge why you don’t want those thoughts, and then cultivate thoughts that balance them out. For example, instead of refusing to admit you’re scared, you could choose to acknowledge your fear and then focus on confidence and bravery.

Our bodies are capable of more than we think. Extreme action specialist Elizabeth Streb has had a lifelong mission to figure out how to fly. Obsessed with flying from a young age, she set out to defy gravity and enhance her body’s natural capabilities so that she could spread her arms and soar.
Through her many unsuccessful attempts, she realised that the reason humans don’t fly might be because we’re afraid of the landing. We don’t want to get hurt. She says that humans can fly — we do fly. It’s just that the duration of our flight is much less than the duration of, say, a butterfly’s flight. So we have to prepare ourselves to land sooner and more often.
She learnt to relish the impact in order to enjoy those seconds of flight. And by learning to relish the impact, she changed her perspective so that falling was no longer falling. It was flying. Perhaps there’s a lesson in there for all of us.

DAILY INSIGHT Why do we hold hands? Over the years, scientists have conducted numerous studies to figure out the reasons and benefits for hand-holding in close relationships. Professor Eric Rabquer, a biologist, suggested that the high number of nerve endings in our hands make them our primary focus for exchanging touch. Touching and holding hands communicates physiological and emotional information from one person to another. We can communicate fear, comfort, and intimacy through handholding.
DAILY ACTION Your highly sensitive hands can help you to build a stronger relationship with your partner. Hold hands when you’re walking side by side, or sitting together, and notice how it feels. What is your partner communicating — whether consciously or subconsciously? What are you communicating? And how does the simple act of holding hands make you feel?

DAILY INSIGHT When it comes to your work, do you favor competition or collaboration? Lots of us see our peers as competitors. But seeing everyone who does similar work as a competitor comes from a sense of scarcity; and actually, cooperation and collaboration could help your career or business grow faster.
DAILY ACTION Get in touch with someone you see as your competition. But approach them with openness and curiosity — be willing to share knowledge and skills with them, and to offer support as they navigate the challenges of work. Have a chat over a coffee and start to build a genuine relationship. Opportunities for mutual support or even direct collaboration might just present themselves.

DAILY INSIGHT Stress relief comes in many forms — and different things work for different people. In Die Hard, John McClane is scared of flying. The man sitting next to him on the plane says, “you wanna know the secret to surviving air travel? When you get to where you’re going you take your shoes off and your socks, and you walk around barefoot and make fists with your toes.”
DAILY ACTION Make fists with your toes! Even the strangest stress relief techniques can help to calm down and bring you into the present moment; and actually, interrupting your thought patterns by focusing on new physical sensations is an effective element of mindfulness practice. Try it. Die Hard said so.

DAILY INSIGHT We know that poor sleep affects our mood. But did you know that your mood could also be affecting how well you sleep? Sleep studies show that people who feel anxious, constantly ‘switched on’, or who move through their days with low energy and a feeling of dragging themselves along, are more likely to sleep badly. In turn, not getting enough sleep makes all of those problems worse.
DAILY ACTION Take control of your mood to improve your sleep. Before bed, spend 10 minutes doing something that makes you feel calm and grounded on the earth. This might be meditating, gentle movement, or writing in a gratitude journal; or it might be dancing, playing drums, or simply looking out of a window. Or something else completely — all that matters is that it makes YOU feel calm and peaceful.

DAILY INSIGHT This moment matters. The next one will matter too — but right now, it’s OK to focus on this one. Life won’t fall apart if you spend a second in the present.
DAILY ACTION Take a deep breath in through the nose. Exhale through the mouth with a big sigh. Do this twice more. And then repeat this affirmation to yourself three times:
I am here. I am where I need to be. This moment matters.
How does it feel when you are present in the moment? Does it feel like waking up? By weaving simple mindfulness techniques into your every day life, you can experience the power of presence more often. Don’t be here just once in a while. In the words of Eckhart Tolle - be here now!

DAILY INSIGHT To change what’s happening in your life, you must first change what’s happening in your mind. Instead of focusing on external occurrences that you can’t control — which makes you feel powerless — focus inward, on your thoughts and emotions. Where do your thoughts come from? What emotions come up again and again for you? Which thoughts and emotions are holding you back from living the life you want to live?
DAILY ACTION Take the time to identify one thought pattern that holds you back. For example, you might get angry every time you feel someone is criticizing you, and therefore miss out on the opportunity for growth and connection. You might feel jealous when you see your partner talking to an attractive person, and in turn, make your partner feel as though you don’t trust them. Whatever your pattern is, notice it. And then choose a thought pattern to replace it. Choose to reframe criticism as useful feedback, take a deep breath, and get quiet to listen closely. Choose to appreciate your partner’s loyalty as well as the fact that they choose YOU every day. Don’t suppress your challenging thoughts — they’re important. Instead, use them to learn more about yourself; and become the person you want to be.

DAILY INSIGHT Astragalus, black elderberry, and oregano. What do these three herbs have in common?
They all help to boost your immune system, with powerful revitalizing properties. If you’re feeling unwell more often than normal, or generally a bit low and not quite on top form, add these herbs to your daily diet to support your health naturally.
Tell us what your favorite feel-good herbs are below!
DAILY ACTION Get in the habit of making a simple herbal tea each day. Put the fresh herbs in a teapot (you could throw in some additional immune-boosting ingredients, like ginger, cinnamon and orange peel) and pour in hot — but not boiling — water. Leave to infuse for 5-10 minutes, and then strain. Add honey to taste; and enjoy!

DAILY INSIGHT Many of us now spend more time communicating with our friends online than we do in real life. But studies show that online friends cannot replace face-to-face connections when it comes to our wellbeing. We need up close and personal contact with friends to be happy and healthy! The fact that the Internet allows us to keep in touch with people is amazing, no doubt; but no matter how many messages you exchange, or how long you’re chatting on Facetime, the physiological, emotional, and mental benefits of human interaction are unmatchable.
DAILY ACTION Call a friend and arrange to meet up. Have a tea; hang in the park for a few hours with nothing to do; or go to their house and enjoy their company. Remember to prioritize in-person interaction to make the most of life.

DAILY INSIGHT Warren Buffet said “taking jobs to build up your resume is the same as saving sex for old age.” In other words — find work you love NOW, not later. People who are fulfilled and inspired by their career aren’t waiting for the right time to sit back and enjoy it; they’re throwing themselves into the midst of their passion right now.
DAILY ACTION If you’re not yet doing the work you love, ask yourself this question: what are you waiting for? Tell us in the comments below; writing it out might help to uncover the limitations that are holding you back. And then ask yourself: in ten years, will you regret what you’re doing right now? Or could you look back at THIS day and thank yourself for taking steps in the right direction?

DAILY INSIGHT Hugs feel good. But did you know that a hug can actually work to reduce your stress levels instantly? When you hug another person, your body releases a hormone called Oxytocin. It’s the hormone of love — and it’s so powerful that it’s actually the key hormone for inducing contractions when women are in labor! It induces a state of happiness, lowers your blood pressure, and reduces your levels of the stress hormone norepinephrine.
DAILY ACTION Feeling stressed? Ask for a hug. The people around you want to help when you’re struggling, and this is a simple, quick, and mutually feel-good way for them to do that. Ask for hugs and give them freely!

DAILY INSIGHT You know that old idea that you can learn a language if you hear it while you’re sleeping? New research published this year by scientists at the University of Bern in Switzerland says it might actually be true. The key is not just in listening to vocabulary while you’re asleep; but listening to it during the right stage of sleep. The researchers found that when the brain is going through slow waves during deep sleep, words that are played during the ‘up’ peak of a wave are more likely to be remember when awake.
DAILY ACTION OK; we’re not saying you’ll be able to learn a whole new language in your sleep. But it’s possible that if you leave a recording on so that words are played to you when you’re in deep sleep (i.e. not just in the moments after you fall asleep) you might just absorb some of that new information.
Have you ever tried to learn a language in your sleep?

DAILY INSIGHT Get quiet to hear more. Meditation can help to train your listening skills — which will make you more present and compassionate with everyone you meet. Focusing on awareness of sound during meditation will help you to arrive in the present moment, and teach your brain how to notice sound and listen more acutely. With practice, this makes it easier for you to naturally sit quietly and listen when others speak; or simply listen to the sounds of the world around you.
DAILY ACTION Choose a place to sit. And quiet down. Close your eyes (so your brain can focus more closely on the sense of hearing) and notice everything you hear. You might notice the big sounds to start with; but gradually, you will begin to notice more subtle sounds. Practice awareness of sound for 3-5 minutes before you take a deep breath and get on with your day.

DAILY INSIGHT Did you know that making decisions makes your brain tired? Every choice you make (even choosing between the mint tea or the oat milk latte) draws on the brain’s executive function, and asks the ‘active self’ to work. This active self is an element of the ego — and it is a limited resource. Each time you make a choice you reduce your mental capacity, which has an impact on your ability to make clear decisions about other things.
DAILY ACTION Studies show that essentially, the brain works like a muscle. When it’s used, it gets tired, and then doesn’t function as well when it’s used again. When you’ve got a big, important choice to make, take note of how many decisions (even seemingly meaningless ones!) you’ve made already that day. If you’ve been tiring out your active self, then the immediate answer might be: sleep on it.

DAILY INSIGHT Yesterday, we touched upon the power of tapping the body to help shift your energy and manage stress. Today, let’s talk about self-massage. Lots of us neglect to care for our hands; but aren’t they amazing?! They’re constantly moving, constantly working. And when we’re stressed out, our hands get tense.
DAILY ACTION Turn both hands palms facing up. Place the four fingers of the right hand beneath the back of the left hand to support it, with the right thumb on the left palm. Starting in the center, use the right thumb to push out to the edges of the left palm, moving around the palm clockwise. Then take hold of each of the left fingertips in turn, including the thumb, and pull them to stretch the fingers out. Finally, use the thumb and first two fingers of the right hand to massage between the thumb and index finger of the left. And then repeat on the other hand!
It’s an easy and nurturing way to release stress at any time.

DAILY INSIGHT Your body, mind, and emotions are all connected. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) actually uses a method of tapping at the end points of energy channels in the body to support emotional wellbeing. It is known to reduce stress and create a deeper connection between body and mind — and it can even relieve depression and anxiety.
DAILY ACTION Bring to mind a problem or situation you’re struggling with, and then create a statement that empowers you to handle that problem. For example, you might say “Even though I am worried about this, I fully accept who I am.” Then, with four fingers of one hand, lightly tap the other hand (on the side of the little finger) 5-7 times. Next, do the same on your eyebrows; the outsides of your eyes; under your eyes; under your nose; and finally, on your chin. As you tap, repeat your statement to yourself.
How does it feel?

DAILY INSIGHT Last week, we mentioned the value of becoming more visible in your business. Building on that, we want to ask: how honest are you with your colleagues, clients or employers? A study at the University of Massachusetts found that 60% of people lie at least once within a 10 minute conversation. Dishonesty creates distrust, and triggers a stress response in your body which impairs your ability to make good decisions.
DAILY ACTION Start to notice each time you're dishonest in professional settings. Even those small mistruths. It takes time to cultivate a practice of honesty (and most of us will never work out how to be honest 100% of the time), but simply noticing when you don't tell the truth, and thinking about why, is the place to start. You can then ask yourself, "was it necessary for me to be dishonest? What would happen if I just told the truth about that?"

DAILY INSIGHT Momentary connections with other people can improve your day and your long-term wellbeing. Close friendships are important; but that doesn’t mean that fleeting encounters can’t be significant, too.
Have you ever met someone, just for a few moments, who brightened your day and stuck in your mind?
DAILY ACTION Set the intention today to speak to a stranger. It doesn’t have to be a big conversation; just say hello, and if a positive comment springs to mind, share it. In doing so you will trigger the release of mood boosting hormones in your own body and in theirs, too.

DAILY INSIGHT Renowned author Jeannette Winterson said “Life has never been all or nothing — it’s all and nothing.” We seek to find the meaning of life; to explain everything, and to understand everything. To fill the void we feel when we acknowledge that our time in this life is short. But isn’t Winterson right? Life is All: it is everything we have. And life is also Nothing: we do not have to fill each minute with stress and productivity as a means to make life meaningful.
When does your life feel the most meaningful? Not by other people’s standards. Just meaningful to YOU.
DAILY ACTION When you encounter a moment of worry, pause to practice gratitude. Say this sentence out loud: “Life is all and nothing; I can exist peacefully in this moment.” And then think of one thing you’re grateful for. Even the tiniest positive things become powerful when you take the time to acknowledge them.

DAILY INSIGHT You can get fit with very short bursts of intensive exercise. Really fit, if you want to — even if you only have 20 minutes a day to dedicate to working out. High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) has been proven to increase the amount of energy your body uses for hours after a short workout. AND the range of movements and muscle strengthening exercises tones and sculpts your body.
DAILY ACTION Try a HIIT workout. Go for a 20 minute video (you’ll find loads on YouTube), and if you’re someone who gets bored easily, you can even find a workout that doesn’t repeat the same exercise twice. It’ll boost your body and your mood immediately. The flood of endorphins will make today a good day!
Got any efficient and effective workout recommendations? Tell us in the comments!

DAILY INSIGHT One of the most common reasons for the breakdown of intimate relationships is a loss of connection. One or both partners feels a sense of disconnect; a lack of the closeness that they once felt so strongly. Over time this disconnect can turn into resentment or distrust. But it doesn’t have to.
DAILY ACTION If you are in a romantic relationship, focus on connection today. Rather than big gestures, connection can be cultivated deeply in the seemingly insignificant moments. Look them in the eye and ask how they’re doing; and then listen to their response. Touch or kiss them without intending to initiate sex. Tell them that you see them, appreciate them, and want to be close to them. Care for your connection, and allow it to grow again.

DAILY INSIGHT Patch Adams famously said, "At the age of 18, I made up my mind to never have another bad day in my life. I dove into an endless sea of gratitude from which I've never emerged.” Can that be true?! We think so. Because although life will always throw curveballs at you, it is possible to choose gratitude and find the food in each day.
DAILY ACTION Try a gratitude jar. This is a great thing to do on your own, and even better to do together with your whole household. Each day, write down one thing you’re grateful for on a piece of paper, and put that paper in the jar. At the end of the week, the month, or just on a day when you’re in need of a pick-me-up, tip out the jar and read your notes. Small acts of gratitude help to build a mind that is wired for having better days.

DAILY INSIGHT Your body deserves your care. Loving your body and nourishing it is not inherently vain; it is an act of self care. This body has been with you since the day you were born, and will be with you until the day you die. You don’t need to workout for hours every day; you don’t need to want to look a certain way. But your body does deserve nourishment, movement, and respect. You deserve to use your body is ways that make YOU feel good.
DAILY ACTION Allow yourself to spend a little time thinking about the judgements you have surrounding bodies, exercise and nutrition. Do you feel that those who don’t care for themselves are unworthy? Do you feel that those who DO focus on their health are projecting vanity? Acknowledge your judgements. And then remind yourself that looking after this body is good for you. Do one thing to care for your body today.

DAILY INSIGHT Eckhart Tolle wrote that “stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.” A mentality that tells you the grass is always greener will stop you from feeling contentment. And that’s where the power of mindfulness comes in: mindfulness practice trains the mind to arrive in the present moment. To notice what is. And to experience this moment in all its beauty, pain, or normality.
DAILY ACTION Imagine that your life as you know it was over; suddenly, you were moved from this place to somewhere completely new, leaving everything you know behind. What would you miss? The big, dramatic stuff? Or the everyday moments that often pass you by? Mindfulness allows you to appreciate the normal, yet incredibly special parts of each day. Be here.

DAILY INSIGHT Buddha is thought to have said “you only lose what you cling to.” In a number of different meditation traditions, non-attachment or non-possessiveness is a central intention. Attachment and grasping creates suffering; because the tighter we hold onto something, the more afraid we are of losing it.
Have you ever stopped yourself from enjoying a happy moment because you were worried that it would be over soon? Do you try to figure out how to make good things last longer — instead of just embracing them?
DAILY ACTION Meditate on non-attachment. Sit quietly for a few moments and bring to mind something in your life that you don’t want to lose. It can be really hard to actively acknowledge this fear; so do it gently. Allow this attachment to come into the mind and sit there. Don’t judge it. Accept it. And then take a deep breath in. As you exhale, say “I embrace you without holding tight. I release you.”

Have you heard of The Work? It’s a method for self-inquiry developed by author and speaker Byron Katie. She experienced a cascade of huge life challenges which led her to a kind of epiphany — and then she created a new way to identify the thoughts that are causing suffering.
Katie says she discovered that “when I believed my thoughts, I suffered…but when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer.” That is true freedom: the freedom from believing that everything you think is real. With that deep understanding of the unreliability and conditioning of your own thought patterns you can come to embrace true joy.
Comment below and tell us one thought you have that you hope isn’t true. You might find that when you write it down it loses its power.

DAILY INSIGHT:
Honesty and trust are two vital ingredients for human connection and close relationships. This is true of relationships with romantic partners, parents, siblings, children, friends, colleagues…and everyone else.
If you are not honest with others they cannot feel truly connected with you. And if you know that you’re not being genuine with them, you won’t be able to feel a deep connection either. Being honest builds trust from both sides; they trust you and you trust yourself. And when you are honest with another person and they accept you for who you are, you can also trust that their care for you is real — because they don’t just like you because of a false image of yourself that you’ve given them.
They like the real you. They care about the real you. The relationship is authentic — and an authentic relationship is a powerful experience.
DAILY ACTION:
Tag someone who you know is always honest with you. They’ll appreciate the recognition and your connection can grow even deeper.

Research from psychology, sociology and anthropology across decades shows that your body influences how you see the world. Psychological research shows that your body directly affects how you interpret and experience the environment around you. You body shape, proportion, posture and movement can all affect your perception.
The interesting thing about this on a personal level is that changing the way you use and move your body can also change the way you see the world — and yourself. Trying new forms of exercise or working on your posture won’t just make you physically healthier. It can also make you more open to receiving different kinds of external sensory information; and that can make you feel happier and more confident. Moving your body differently can make the world appear a friendlier, more inspiring or less intimidating.

Elbert Hubbard was a writer, publisher, philosopher and an artist. He believed that we could all live more fulfilling lives if we “work to become, not to acquire.” What does your job or career help you become? What do you want to become?
Whether or not you feel as though you’re on the right path right now, this is sound advice. Acquiring wealth or possessions as a result of your work is all good — but the chances are that it’s not the money or the things that you really crave. Instead, perhaps you want to become secure. To become respected. To become free. To become calm.
Focus on those things.
So we ask again: what do you want to become? Tell us in the comments; we’d love to know.

DAILY INSIGHT Who do you take criticism from? How do you choose which external doubts about yourself or your work to listen to? Brené Brown powerfully tells us that we should not absorb the doubts and criticisms of people who are not living their own lives with courage. If they’re not being brave, then they bring their own fear to the table. If they are not making themselves vulnerable and showing up as themselves, their opinions are not worth your time.
DAILY ACTION Decide not to take criticism to heart unless it is given by someone you truly respect. Someone you respect for their own openness, vulnerability, and willingness to fail. It’s hard not to be affected by judgements — but you don’t have to be. Remember that most judgements are rooted in the insecurities of the person who is judging.

Babies are often rocked to sleep in the arms of an adult; it’s said that the movement replicates the movement they recently experienced in the womb.
But research published this year in the journal Current Biology suggests that slow, repetitive movement improves sleep quality for adults, too. According to the two studies included in the review, this movement modulates brain activity so that people fall asleep faster, and enter a deeper and less disturbed sleep.
Study participants who had been rocked to sleep also performed better in a memory recall test the next morning than participants who had not fallen asleep with gentle movement. So repetitive motion also improves the memory consolidation that takes place during sleep.
What helps you sleep well?

DAILY INSIGHT The philosopher (and Roman emperor) Marcus Aurelius famously said, “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” It’s a simple truth that we cannot control what happens around us, and unexpected events will always occur. But we can train our minds to respond with consciousness awareness.
DAILY ACTION Choose your reaction to something today. When something happens that you’d normally react to without pause — maybe you get cut up by another driver on the road; you drop something and it smashes; or someone says something that triggers an emotional response — DO pause. Take a breath and decide how you want to respond to the situation.
Is the way you want to respond different from the way you usually respond?

DAILY INSIGHT Massage is more than just a feel-good treat. Various forms of massage therapy have been proven to ease digestive disorders, reduce inflammation and pain, soothe headaches, help injuries heal faster, and calm anxiety.
DAILY ACTION You guessed it; book a massage. You could opt for a deep tissue or Thai Yoga massage for a body and mind boosting treatment. Allow yourself to forget your to-do list and become immersed in the moment, so that it can become a meditative experience. An additional benefit? It’s a simple way to prioritize YOU when life feels like it’s running out of control.

DAILY INSIGHT When it comes to work, days off are just as important as days on. Numerous studies have shown that switching off from your job (and really switching off; no checking emails or ‘just replying to this one thing’ allowed) increases productivity and creativity on your working days, and makes you happier and healthier overall. This goes for entrepreneurs and freelance professionals as well as those in regular employment.
What would your ideal day off look like right now?
DAILY ACTION: With that ideal day off in mind, fix it in your diary. OK, so if your ideal is a day on the beach in Bali it might not be possible right away; but you can create a similar experience of total relaxation closer to home. Write the date in ink, and stick to it. You are worthy of time for YOU.

DAILY INSIGHT:
Shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset doesn’t mean you have to ignore all of your negative thoughts. In fact, those negative thoughts are really important to you growth; they highlight potential problems as well as showing you the areas of your Self that you would benefit from working on.
People with a growth mindset don’t think only positive thoughts. They simply understand that their negative thoughts aren’t always the whole truth. And they consider those thoughts with interest, welcoming the insight they might hold.
For example, pretending that you’re never scared of anything is not helpful to your personal evolution.
DAILY ACTION:
Acknowledge your fears and ask yourself where those fears come from, and what you can learn from them.
Expand your consciousness!

INSIGHT FOR TODAY:
Assertiveness vs. aggressiveness. What’s the difference — and how does each affect your stress levels?
To be assertive is to express your opinions and choices firmly and with confidence. Assertiveness is rooted in confidence; if you know who you are and what you want, and you know and respect your personal boundaries, it is easier to be assertive. You can communicate firmly but kindly.
To be aggressive is to express yourself strongly, but without that kindness towards yourself or others. You’re more likely to be aggressive if you feel less confident in what you’re communicating; you overcompensate. Or if you feel threatened, belittled, or somehow less than the people you are communicating with.
Aggression produces and feeds on stress hormones. Assertiveness makes use of hormones that promote calm and feelings of happiness.
What situations in your life would benefit from more assertiveness rather than aggression?
ACTION FOR TODAY:
Seek assertiveness over aggressive in a personal or work situation to help you to feel less stressed and more in control.

Have you seen the list of questions that will make you fall in love? Psychologist Arthur Aron created a list of 36 questions specifically designed to create intimacy between strangers. The questions are divided into 3 sets — with each set more personal and probing than the last.
Aron and colleagues argue that by creating a sense of vulnerability for both people, these questions can stimulate feelings of love. The growing intensity of the questions reflects the way that intimate relationships develop — but by asking these questions in sequence, the experience of intimacy is speeded up.
These questions may or may not help you and your potential partner — or current partner — fall deeply in love. But they make for a fun evening together either way!

In 2017, the Nobel prize-winning research in medicine was all about sleep. Subjects were confined in a room for two weeks with no clocks, windows, TV or internet. The point was to remove any way for them to know what time it was, or how much time had passed.
This allowed scientists to identify a mutation of a gene dubbed the ‘night owl gene’, which governs the circadian rhythm — the 24 hour sleep/wake cycle found in all mammals. The mutated gene makes our internal body clock run slower; and it’s estimated to cause sleep disorders in forty-seven million US adults.
What causes the night owl gene mutation? There’s an element of ‘being born with it’, but the research shows that using screens shortly before going to bed aggravates the condition. So overuse of phones, tablets and computers is thought to be a key reason why so many people in America struggle to sleep well.

Yesterday we touched on the power of words to create what you want in life. Today, we go further and use words in a simple practice to change your state of mind. Studies show that labelling your emotions with words can instantly reduce their power to overwhelm you. So close your eyes and start to identify the emotions you’re feeling.
Label each emotion with a word. Say it out loud if you can. You might say “Angry,” “Anxious”, or “Hurt”. Or if you’re feeling good, label your positive emotions too! You can use this technique whenever you feel that your emotions are taking over and disrupting your life.
Why does it work? Because applying a word to a feeling immediately changes your brain activity so that you’re working from the thinking brain regions rather than the emotional brain regions. And that puts you in a state of mind that’s much better for making decisions and choosing how you want to react.

Let’s talk about the power of words. Repeating statements to yourself that reflect things you want to achieve, feel or be, is proven to be effective when it comes to making those things happen. And if you feel stressed out or worried, or regularly struggle with intense anxiety, repetitive statements could help to turn things around.
Create a statement that you can use in any stressful situation. Keep it simple — for example, your statement might be “I am calm even when the world around me is not” or “I am good at working steadily in the middle of a whirlwind”. And then use your statement. Repeat it when you start to feel stressed.
Do this regularly, and it will become more and more powerful. Your subconscious mind will integrate this statement into its understanding of life and the world. And you will begin to be what you say.

What motivates you to get fit, lose weight, stay fit, gain muscle — or whatever your body goals are right now? Hugh Jackson said “There comes a certain point in life when you have to stop blaming other people for how you feel or the misfortunes in your life. You can’t go through life obsessing about what might have been.”
And this is so important when it comes to health and fitness. You can take responsibility for your body and make the decision to stop obsessing about what might have been. Because instead of imagining how different life would have turned out if you’d had the body you wanted, you can train and reshape and refocus your physical energy. No one else is stopping you.

Directing your energy towards the career and the work lifestyle you really want is crucial to achieving those dreams. And the Law of Attraction reminds us that directing our energy towards the right things also means turning our energy away from the wrong things.
Staying in a job you hate because of uncertainty about what you’ll do next will hold you back. A job that doesn’t give you energy and motivation does the opposite — it drains the energy out of you and leaves you feeling apathetic, tired and stuck. And the sense of urgency created by leaving a bad job when you don’t know what you’re going to do next could be the motivator you need to spark new energy. New energy that you can direct whole heartedly towards your genuine passion.

Do you see yourself as a big thinker? Michael Port writes that we assign the role of thinking big to certain people in our lives, but not many of us apply that role to ourselves. Allowing judgemental voices to tell us what could go wrong or why something won’t work means that we start to internalize that negative voice.
Instead, Port argues that we need to get comfortable with discomfort and become the big thinker in our lives. We need to surround ourselves with brave and supportive voices, not cautionary ones — and we need to get comfortable with taking risks and learning lessons through trial, error and success.

When psychologists talk about the elements that create a happy and enduring romantic relationship, there are a few things that come up again and again. Having positive thoughts about your partner, sharing good memories, and enjoying new experiences together are all important ingredients of a loving, understanding and caring partnership.
Embracing every magic moment that presents itself to you will take your relationship into a new realm. If a couple goes out and dances in the rain instead of closing the curtains and switching on the TV they will create a night to remember together forever. And those memories form part of the foundation that can carry a couple through the tough times.

Biomedical and social research has repeatedly found that men sleep less than women. Scientists suggest various reasons for this — from differences in work, social expectations, and physiological makeup.
But why is it important to know about this? Because getting enough sleep is essential for good health and productivity.
Sociologist Robert Meadows suggests that women may make more time for sleep and carve out moments in their day to nap, or preserve evening time for early nights. Whereas men “understand sleep as an unfortunate necessity”, because it takes up time that they’d rather be using for something else. Meadows also notes that behaviors involved in preserving sleep might go against men’s desire to prove their masculinity and strength — for example, getting an early night or taking a nap are sometimes seen as childish or weak. In reality, not making time for sleep decreases productivity, mental resilience and physical strength.

Boys crave emotional closeness with their friends. But by mid to late adolescence they turn away from that platonic intimacy. Why? Because that’s what they’re taught to believe is required of them in order to become men.
Developmental psychologist Niobe Way discovered this shift in the behavior of young men, and urges us to recognize that what we see as ‘human nature’ is actually just cultural bias and conditioning. In other words, we don’t have to disconnect from human connection in order to be real men. That’s just what society tells us.
Way also points out that late adolescence, that point at which most men stop seeking emotional intimacy with friends, is the age when rates of suicide and violence increase significantly. We need to start teaching boys that they don’t have to be alone in order to be men.

How aware are you? Have you noticed what’s going on around you right now?
The simple act of noticing is a powerfully meditative practice that you can use to enter the present moment. Any time.
Take a closer look around. What do you see? Look up and look down. Focus on detail. Become aware of the way objects connect with each other; the way that one color touches the next. Notice money on the ground. Threads hanging from fabric. The texture of the sidewalk. The lines in the skin of your hands.
There is no goal. No great discovery to seek in this moment. Allow yourself to be here and notice. Existing is enough — and how acutely can you exist? How vibrantly? How real can this world become?

Stress can affect your ability to make decisions. In 2017, a study found that stressful experiences influence human decision making in ways that are far more complex than previously thought. Stress can create an internal bias towards habit, and against risk taking. So if you’re struggling with a big decision in your life but you’ve recently experienced significant stress, it might be a good idea to give yourself time to recover from that stress before you take the plunge one way or the other.
Making important decisions during a time of stress might hold you back — because you’re more likely to choose the safe and familiar option, rather than the one that feels risky or intimidating. Focus on you first. And then choose your path.

The human body is capable of incredible things. We’re equipped with something unique: the drive and mental power to achieve physical feats far beyond the things we need to do to survive. Take Ross Edgley; the first man to circumnavigate Great Britain in water. Swimming. With nothing but sheer strength, determination, and a wetsuit.
Edgley’s 157 day swim left him shattered, with a rotting tongue and 37 jellyfish stings. Why did he do it? To push himself to his limits, and to inspire other people to get out of their comfort zone. He said “find something that you didn’t think you were capable of and prove yourself wrong.” Although not all of us will swim 1,791 miles in cold and hostile water, getting out there and changing your perception of what you can and can’t do might just change your life.

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” These wise words from comedian Milton Berle hold within them an important lesson for anyone seeking to build a career that fulfills them. The perfect opportunity for you might not exist yet — and there’s no need to be afraid of going out there and making it.
If there’s a wall in front of you, take a moment. Do you want to get past it? Is there something for you behind that wall? If so, figure out how to step into the space on the other side. Like all things in life, building doors takes practice. But you will only learn by doing.

Rick Hanson, author of Buddha’s Brain, said “Nurturing your own development isn’t selfish. It’s actually a great gift to other people.”
This is such a profound statement in a world where we are constantly under pressure to be busy doing everything other than taking care of ourselves. If you feel a sense of guilt for focusing on your development and expanding your experience of life, it’s time to stop. Integrating practices into your life to open up your consciousness and awaken to the full potential of your experience is not selfish. It is good for everyone around you.
You will be in a position to help — to really help. You will be calmer and more at ease within yourself. You will be more empathetic, more aware, and better and communicating and connecting with others. This work is not selfish.

The full moon might have an impact on your sleep. Nope, it’s not just a myth! Several studies have found that people sleep, on average, 20 minutes less than usual on full moon nights, and take five minutes longer to fall asleep.
But intriguingly, less sleep during a full moon doesn’t necessarily mean worse sleep. In fact, we experience an average of 30 minutes more REM sleep on these moon bright nights. REM, or Rapid Eye Movement, is the sleep stage in which dreams take place — the deep sleep state that is vital for learning processes, memory, and stable moods.

Find three minutes today to stand outside and look up at the sky. Set a timer on your phone with an alert so that you don’t have to look down for the entire three minutes.
You could do this first thing in the morning after you wake up — just go outside and look up. You could do it in the middle of the day, or after work, or late in the evening when the sky is dark.
Look without expecting to find anything. Without needing to find anything. Look at the sky for the sake of looking at it. Uninterrupted exposure to elements of the natural environment have an incredibly powerful effect on your state of mind. Doing this can even slow your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, and calm the fight-or-flight response of your nervous system.

Turning to sugar in moments of stress is something that lots of us do. The pleasurable experience of eating some sweet, delicious treat makes us feel as though we’re taking care of ourselves in a way. It takes our attention and temporarily puts our stress at bay.
But studies point out that sugar is not a helpful antidote to those tough moments in the day. Feeling stressed can actually be a trigger for binging on comfort foods which causes a spike — and then a drop — in blood sugar levels. This crash causes irritability, nervousness and anxiety which leads to even more stress. In contrast, lean protein, healthy fats, green vegetables whole grains keep blood sugar and insulin levels steady, which in turn supports steady energy and mood.

Today, while everyone’s talking about love and romance and sex, let’s talk about…sex. Last year, a team of psychologists in the Netherlands highlighted a common issue faced by men when it comes to sex. They found that men who had a negative perception of their own body and were self-conscious about certain parts of their physicality experienced sexual dissatisfaction.
A likely reason for this is that men who are self-conscious during sex find it hard to focus and lose themselves in the experience. They’re distracted, worrying what their partner thinks or overwhelmed by feelings of not being attractive enough, or not being good enough. The researchers conclusion was that improving male body image would also improve their sexual satisfaction — making it a more enjoyable and liberating experience.

The definition of success: ‘the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.’ So success doesn’t really mean having a big house, an expensive car, or even being respected as an expert in your field. Those things could be your version of success, of course — but the point is that success is not just one thing.
Success is the accomplishment of your aims. Your purpose. Which means that success is available to you every day — no matter what you’re aiming for. Experts in career coaching recommend setting both short-term and long-term goals to motivate you and create regular successes in your working life and in your personal life. Why? Because a regular experience of success, no matter how seemingly insignificant, means you’re less likely to feel disillusioned and give up on your ultimate purpose.

They say “choose a job you’ll love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” But…that’s not exactly true. Actually, the lived reality of many people who choose to follow their dreams is…no boundaries between work and personal life. An inability to switch off and relax. Working more hours each week that most people are even awake. And so on — leading to exhaustion and even burnout.
If you’re following your dreams and building a career based on genuine passion, that’s amazing. But remember that loving your job doesn’t mean it’s healthy to work all the time. So work on these things, too: balance. Downtime. Rest. Meditation. Self awareness. And work on saying no on those occasions when saying yes might just tip you over the edge.

A new study published in the journal Men and Masculinities says that young heterosexual men get more emotional satisfaction and fulfillment from their close friendships with other men than they get from relationships with girlfriends. As society’s taboo on close male friendships begins to lift, men are enjoying more open and supportive relationships with their peers.
This kind of friendship is what we call a ‘bromance’ - the kind of friendship where usual man-to-man boundaries don’t exist, and men feel free to share secrets and openly appreciate each other. The study surveyed second year college students and found that participants felt less judged by male friends than by girlfriends, and less pressure to be conventionally ‘manly’.

YOUR SLEEP
Do you dream in color? According to self-reporting studies, around 12% of people dream only in black and white. As dreams are so difficult to measure, it’s hard for researchers to figure exactly why that might be.
But a study published in 2008 found that almost no people under the age of 25 reported black and white dreams. This led scientists to suggest that the cause could be connected to the older generation’s exposure to black and white TV.
And in fact, going back to the 1940s, three quarters of Americans of all ages said they rarely or never saw any color in their dreams. Which strengthens the theory that what we watch on TV has a direct impact on what we see in our minds when we’re asleep.

Imagine: you are sitting on a boat, alone, in the middle of a vast lake. It’s evening; darkness is falling around you. You are completely safe. And completely peaceful. You notice the way your breath travels through your lungs as you sit still. You feel the gentle movement of water beneath you — slow, unhurried, soothing. Clarity overcomes you. You are on the world. Floating on a body of water on an incredible planet.
Everything you need is around you. The gentle changing of light as day gives way to night. A soft breeze; the sight of trees resting firm at the water’s edge, some distance away. Above you, the moon faintly glimmers into sight. You are connected to the planet and connected to the beat of your heart. You are here: right now.

Stress has a habit of piling up. Something that would usually only be a little bit stressful becomes incredibly stressful when you’re already stressed. And the more stressed you get, the harder it is to engage with those activities — like exercise and socializing — that lower stress hormones.
But psychologist Barbara Fredrickson shares good news: brief bursts of happiness, laughter, contentment and gratitude can build up our resilience to stress. That means that little things like having a quick coffee with an old friend, listening to a favorite comedian or having a moment of appreciation — all things that are quick and easy to do every day — can have lasting benefits.
In other words, those little things you include in your day that give you a sense of immediate happiness are not frivolous. They are worthwhile. They could protect your mental health for years to come.

The Okinawa islands in Japan has the longest living population in the world. Unsurprisingly, researchers around the globe are interested in this - so why are people from Okinawa more likely to live to 100 than anyone else?
It's got a lot to do with diet. The average person's diet in Okinawa is high in whole grains and vegetables, and relatively high in fish and soy proteins as well as seaweed. Not only that, but the most commonly used vegetables in the region are high in flavonoids, vitamin E and carotenoids.
This balance provides the human body with excellent nourishment and immune support - so Okinawa has a low rate of a wide range of diseases that are common elsewhere in the world, including heart disease, cancer and arteriosclerosis.

Norman Vincent Peale said “the trouble with most of us is that we'd rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” Isn’t that true? If we have the choice to listen to someone who thinks we’re completely perfect and only says positive things about us, or someone who can see our limitations and isn’t afraid to tell us where we’re letting ourselves down…well, most of us would rather hear the good stuff.
But criticism could be the greatest gift anyone could give us. It highlights those things about ourselves or our work that we might not be able to see — or might not be willing to acknowledge. It tells us how we could do better. Which means that changing our perspective on criticism so that we can welcome it, rather than hide from it, will allow us to grow in ways we couldn’t have imagined on our own.

Mindset researchers Nussbaum and Dweck wanted to find out what kind of feedback people seek after a struggle. They set up a study in which they asked participants to take a difficult test — and then they told the participants that they’d done badly. Immediately afterwards, everyone was offered a choice: they could either look at the tests of people who had done worse than them, or look at the tests of people who had done better.
You might remember that we’ve talked about the growth mindset and the fixed mindset before; and the results of this study were clear. People with a fixed mindset asked to see the tests of people who had done worse, and those with a growth mindset wanted to look at the tests of those who had done better. So a fixed mindset motivates you to seek consolation and validation; but a growth mindset makes you want to learn.

Have you heard of the vagus nerve? And did you know that it plays an important role in our ability to connect with other people?
The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the human body’s autonomic nervous system. We’ve known for a long time that it influences the function of the body’s vital organs. But in recent years, intriguing new research has shown that this nerve also has an impact on human connection. In a report published in the journal Psychological Science, researchers explain that the physiological activation of the vagus nerve is associated with compassion. Even a brief touch from another person can interact with the nerve to trigger a positive, compassionate response.
So the way you interact on a physical level with those close to you can change the emotional relationship you have with one another. It's all about touch.

In 2015, a group of sleep researchers conducted a study on 62 healthy men and women. The participants were randomly subjected to three different experimental conditions: being forced to wake up during the night; going to bed late; and uninterrupted sleep.
The results show that an interrupted night’s sleep is worse than a short night’s sleep. The study’s lead researcher, Patrick Finan Ph.D. explains that disrupted sleep prevents you from progressing through the sleep stages. That means if you wake up at intervals during the night you don’t get enough deep, slow-wave sleep — the kind that makes you feel rested and restored.
So setting the conditions for peaceful and uninterrupted sleep is actually more important than trying to go to bed early and sleeping longer hours.

Yoga Master T.K.V. Desikachar said “Whenever you are in doubt, it is best to pause. Few things are so pressing that they cannot wait for a moment of breath.”
Today, notice doubt. Don’t be scared of it. Indecision holds potential for change — because if you don’t already know what to do, you can learn. Become consciously aware of those moments when you experience a sense of doubt; whether you’re doubtful about something big, or just not sure which sandwich you want for lunch.
And when you notice doubt, pause. Don’t rush to get beyond it. Allow it to exist and focus your awareness on it. A brief pause a few steady breaths are often all you need in order to access the deeper wisdom within. You might discover answers you’d never considered before.

When was the last time you did something…ridiculous? Studies show that humor and laughter have an instantaneous impact on stress levels. And this can lead to long term improvements in mental and physical health. In the 1960s, a man named Norman Cousins even used laughter and humor to self-treat a degenerative disease — he had been given a prognosis of only a few months to live, but by using positive emotions to create positive physiological responses he lived for another 25 years.
The lesson here is simply not to take yourself too seriously. Go out, be weird, and laugh. Fill your life with brilliant strangeness and do those things that you think you’re too old to do. We’ve convinced ourselves that growing up means being sensible. But…why?

Think about the characteristics of the people you know who have achieved — and continue to maintain — their fitness goals. Take Simeon Panda. He’s a global fitness professional and entrepreneur who has turned his passion for training into a lifestyle and a career. The thing that draws people to him and the thing that allow him to train with such dedication are the same: positivity and motivation.
He approaches everything he does with the certainty that he can do it. And so he does it. You can use this for your own journey with fitness. If you know you can succeed and create the physique and health that you strive for, you can. That’s not to say that everyone has their own physical limitations and unique anatomy — but the only thing stopping you from training your body is you.

Ray Dalio, a successful investor named the richest person in Connecticut in 2018, points out that we often think a risk is…well, riskier, than it really is. Instead of being the actual risk that holds us back, he says it’s the limitations we place on ourselves that confine us most tightly.
People with a high risk tolerance usually discover that the chances they’re taking are less precarious than they first thought. In other words, people who are willing to take the risk are rewarded by the realization that the hardest part was taking that first leap. Career success is so closely related with mindset that simply altering your understanding of what risk is can make all the difference to your trajectory through life. Do not limit yourself with fear.

It’s easier to keep promises to other people than it is to keep promises to yourself. Why? Partly because when you promise something to someone else, they hold you accountable. Your sense of commitment overrides procrastination, laziness and personal insecurity. You have to do the thing because you said you’d do the thing.
You can make this kind of accountability mindset work in a way that helps you keep your promises to yourself. Did you decide this would be the month that you’d workout every day? Promised yourself you’d write that book or launch that website? Create a sense of accountability by writing your promises down and telling other people about them. And don’t tell that sweet friend who you know will let you off the hook — tell your brother or sister or that friend with extremely high expectations of you. The person you know will call you out on your excuses.

Male bodies in the mainstream media are…confusing. Our bodies are less sexualized and less criticized than female bodies, and yet still sexualized and criticized a lot. And at the same time there are less messages out there encouraging us to love our bodies — to appreciate them for what they are, and not to buy into false perceptions of how we should and shouldn’t look.
Does it go against your masculine instincts to appreciate and love your body? Do you have a tendency to push and punish and force? That’s fine, to a degree. But if you can bring it into balance and appreciate as much as you push; love as much as you challenge and train; and accept that your body will change with the seasons, with external stressors and influences; then those hours of pushing will be for personal improvement and not personal punishment.

Yesterday we touched on taking care of yourself to stop short term stressors leading to poor health in the long term. So today we’re giving you a simple meditation exercise for stress relief that you can integrate into almost any moment in the day.
Sit down on a chair. Shift your weight into your seat bones and feel grounded and heavy and solid. Allow your feet to become lighter and lighter — until they float up away from the ground.
Hold here and notice the way your muscles contract and shift and pull to keep your feet away from the ground.
And then shift the weight forwards and let your feet float to touch the ground again. Notice the connection between feet and floor — how it feels. How the muscles change.
And repeat as many times as you wish. This can be a really subtle practice to play with, even when there are other people around — taking the feet an inch off the ground is as effective as lifting them higher.

You’ve probably heard someone say “never go to bed angry”. And it’s very good advice. When we’re in the midst of a conflict, our bodies are flooded with hormones — in particular, the stress hormone cortisol. If you go to bed without reducing your cortisol levels your sleep will suffer and you’ll wake up in the morning feeling stressed and tired. It won’t be a restful night’s sleep!
To balance cortisol production you need a healthy dose of oxytocin — the powerful love hormone that strengthens human relationships and makes us feel safe and content. Oxytocin is released when you have a loving interaction with another person or when you feel comfortable and relaxed. So resolve the conflict, give your partner a hug, or do something that gets you into a loving state of mind. You’ll sleep well and function much better tomorrow!

Find a body of water. Any body of water. If there’s a river, a lake or the ocean nearby, perfect. If not? Find a pond. A stream. A puddle. Or fill up a glass and place it on your desk.
Take a few deep breaths. And then softly focus your gaze on the surface of the water. Hold your gaze there and notice every detail.
The texture of the water; the movement of it, whether you’re witnessing huge waves or the faintest of ripples. Notice. Focus. This is all you need to do.
Water is a cooling, calming element. There is something about it that our minds cannot resist — a realness, a kind of honesty. It has the power to alter our perspective in a matter of moments.

Have you ever met someone who you wished could be your mentor? One of those people who stands out as an expert in your field or an inspiration for the lifestyle you want. Imagine if you could benefit from their wisdom — learn from the mistakes they’ve made along the way, and move towards your career goals with their support.
Ask them. They might say no, sure — but they might not. Think of it this way; if someone asked you to be their mentor, how would you feel? Probably at least a little bit honored. And faced with someone who thinks a lot of you, there’s a good chance you’d want to prove them right by offering any insight you could.
Your dream mentor will likely feel the same way. So take the leap, reach out, and ask.

Woodwork is known as a method of stress relief. Speak to any carpenter or weekend woodcarver and they’ll tell you that it’s just as much about the process as the product. Losing yourself in a project, focusing on natural materials and creating shapes and joins is a way to connect with nature and with yourself.
There’s something primal about it — holding, turning, changing wood. Making something out of nothing. The scent of cut wood and sawdust. The weight of tools in hand. Plus it’s been proven that learning a new skill helps to balance a stressful life; it gets you out of your head and lets you be a beginner again.
So this is our recommendation, today: book yourself onto a woodworking course or pick up some materials and experiment on your own. It’ll make you feel much better than sitting down to stream a new season of something, again.

It’s a new day. Does it feel like it?
The start of the year is always rich with potential and intention. We make resolutions, decisions, and commit to letting go of old habits. We’re going to get fit this year. We’re going to learn more; read more; drink less; love the people in our lives better.
And then a couple of weeks pass. And we crash. The high of getting through the last year and partying our way into the new one has gone. Faced with tight wallets post-holidays and the realization that 2019 isn’t all that different from 2018, we hit the January blues.
But 2019 can be different. Open your eyes to your own power. Understand that you have a choice in every moment; the choice to sleepwalk from one minute to the next or to step into consciousness and act from present moment awareness. Start now.

The words “I understand” are used frequently in intimate relationships. But it’s worth considering whether you really do understand before you tell your partner that you do.
Instead of saying “I understand”, try this: repeat back what the other person has told you, in your own words, and then ask them if you’ve got it right. Accept that you have not understood them unless they feel that you have.
And it works both ways. If you don’t feel that you’ve been understood, you can gently say “I don’t think you understand me — can you tell me what you think I’m saying?”
Cultivating open communication and the freedom for each person to speak until they know they’ve been heard will maintain curiosity, humility and love within your relationship.

Let’s talk about yoga. We get it — you look at the people walking into a yoga class in the gym or at that studio down the road, and they’re all women. You see images of yoga poses all over the Internet — and they’re all women. If you feel intimated by the yoga class setting because you think you’ll be the only guy, you’re not alone.
But yoga is a powerful physical and mental practice. It holds an opportunity to train, strengthen and open the body; to prevent injury and promote longevity. And it could be your key to learning how to regulate emotions and gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
Thing is, when you go to a yoga class no one but the teacher cares that you’re there. That’s a good thing: everyone is focused on their own practice, and you can focus on yours.

Have you ever used essential oils? These highly concentrated plant oils aren’t overwhelmingly popular among the majority of men — but they’re worth your attention. If you’re suffering from sleep deprivation, certain essential oils can be incorporated into your evening to promote deep and peaceful rest that will leave you feeling rejuvenated and energized.
Studies show that essential oils are effective for promoting good quality sleep. Smells bypass the brain processes that other senses require and travel directly to the brain’s limbic system, making them powerful tools for accessing emotions and peaceful mental states in an intentional way.
You can use oils like lavender and Ylang Ylang in burners or under your pillow to slow down your mind and body. Drift into deep sleep with ease.
Source [included for reference only; need not be included in social media posts]: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24720812

Did you ever climb trees when you were a kid? Remember that feeling of strength and adrenaline rushing as you climbed higher and higher. Hands reaching, legs pushing, the texture of rough bark against your skin and then rich scent of green and wood and nature.
And then you’d find that perfect spot — the place to stop. The branch with the curve that seemed to ask you to sit still and lean back and take in the height and the view and the moment.
Remember?
And as you sat there your mind would settle. The closeness of the natural world would calm your mind. The steady solid presence of that ancient tree would support you and for a few moments, nothing else mattered in the world.
That was meditation. As a kid, you were doing what we’re trying so hard to do now that we’re grown up. So do that again; climb a tree. Why not?

Did you know that reading a book can physically relax your body? It’s been proven to lower your heart rate and ease muscle tension, and a study at the University of Sussex in 2009 found that reading can reduce stress by as much as 68%. And we need that kind of stress relief. We’re living lives of endless demands and zero downtime which will have long-term implications for our health.
Make reading a part of your daily routine. Maybe you have 30 minutes in the morning or 30 minutes before you go to bed when you could sit down with a novel or a non-fiction book and absorb some knowledge while your stress levels simmer down. And you know, reading makes you more interesting too, so…win win!

Your body is your temple. We’ve all heard it. But does it really mean anything? It’s easy to see the body as nothing more than a vessel for life — to be used and abused. But ancient wisdom from a number of traditions tells us that the body is more than that. It is a part of our experience of life; it informs the way we move and behave in the world, and in turn the things we do change the way our body moves and works.
Respect the body and it can teach us more than we might think. It is our connection with all physicality. The place in which we feel sensations and the keeper of our experience. It is much more important than the way it looks and if we listen, the body’s knowledge and intuition runs deep.

In a well known Zen story, a horse came galloping at high speed down the road — as if the rider had somewhere very important to go. Another man standing at the side of the road shouted out “Where are you going?” and the man on the horse answered,
“I don’t know! Ask the horse!”
The horse symbolizes the energy of habit, carrying us along without us really knowing where we’re going, or why. But all of that running is for nothing if we don’t have any intention or control. Sound familiar? Then take the reigns. Pay attention to the habitual behavior that carries you along without conscious direction. And make the decision to take charge and direct your energy towards what you really want.

Clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson says you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people. Instead, “compare yourself to who you were yesterday.” Instead of trying to defeat others, try to defeat your former self — become better than him/her.
And Peterson suggests that you should constantly be trying to do that. Perpetually working to be a better man/woman than the one you were yesterday, and last week, and last year. There’s no end point. There’s no finished ‘you’. By understanding that this is lifelong work you can become the person you want to be — and then become the person you want to be after that, too.

Eye contact. Do you make it? And how often? And for how long?
Looking into someone’s eyes is a powerful way to connect quickly and deeply. In fact, Eye Gazing is used as a relational therapy because it allows us to have a profound experience of connection which satisfies our physiological need to be seen and understood.
Lots of us don’t make enough eye contact. We make a little and then look away; we divert our gaze to our hands or our phones or something over there on the wall. But what would happen if you held your gaze? How might you, and the person opposite you, feel? And would it change the content of your conversations?
Almost definitely. It can be really hard to make and keep eye contact. And for some people it feels almost impossible. But work on it — you will not regret it.

“Nothing happens unless first we dream.” Carl Sandburg may have been talking about dreams in an aspirational sense but this is true of your actual during-the-night-while-you’re-asleep dreams too.
Nothing happens unless we dream — or at least, unless we have time to dream. Sleep is crucial for our physical and mental health but it’s also incredibly important for our ability to generate ideas, follow up on them, and stay motivated.
Not only that, but dreams actually give us an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. That thing that’s been weighing on your mind for days suddenly presents itself in some fantastical formation while you’re asleep and suddenly you understand it, or can see through it, or you realise that it’s not so heavy after all. Relax and look forward to those hours of rest. You never know what you might discover!

Yesterday we touched on taking care of yourself to stop short term stressors leading to poor health in the long term. So today we’re giving you a simple meditation exercise for stress relief that you can integrate into almost any moment in the day.
Sit down on a chair. Shift your weight into your seat bones and feel grounded and heavy and solid. Allow your feet to become lighter and lighter — until they float up away from the ground.
Hold here and notice the way your muscles contract and shift and pull to keep your feet away from the ground.
And then shift the weight forwards and let your feet float to touch the ground again. Notice the connection between feet and floor — how it feels. How the muscles change.
And repeat as many times as you wish. This can be a really subtle practice to play with, even when there are other people around — taking the feet an inch off the ground is as effective as lifting them higher.

What’s the difference between a short-term problem and long-term stress? Challenges, failures and losses don’t have to lead to poor mental, physical and emotional health. But they often do. When we don’t take care of ourselves during times of immediate stress, that stress can build — and before we know it we’re suffering from real conditions that have come about as a result of exposure to extended stress.
But what does it mean to take care of yourself? Unfortunately there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But give yourself time to breathe and think. Get outside and walk or run. Talk — seriously. Talk. And listen to those voices in your head that tell you “I need a break!” or “I need a little help to get through this one.”

Male bodies in the mainstream media are…confusing. Our bodies are less sexualized and less criticized than female bodies, and yet still sexualized and criticized a lot. And at the same time there are less messages out there encouraging us to love our bodies — to appreciate them for what they are, and not to buy into false perceptions of how we should and shouldn’t look.
Does it go against your masculine instincts to appreciate and love your body? Do you have a tendency to push and punish and force? That’s fine, to a degree. But if you can bring it into balance and appreciate as much as you push; love as much as you challenge and train; and accept that your body will change with the seasons, with external stressors and influences; then those hours of pushing will be for personal improvement and not personal punishment.

Do you aspire to a creative career? Three words: Hone Your Craft. The people who can help you make a good living out of your passion will be interested in working with you if that passion is blindingly visible to them — and your skill is unmissable, too.
So take the time. Put the work in. Dedicate every minute you can to getting better at what you do, and learning everything you can about your work and its history and intricacies, and developing yourself.
Boundaries are important, of course. But an intense period of immersion into your craft will drive you forwards and set you apart from the crowd. You’ll learn exponentially and set yourself on the path to creating the career you want; the one that allows you to spend the rest of your life exploring the thing that inspires you the most.
What can you do to hone your craft today?

When you have a new idea — or when someone suggests an idea to you — look at how it could work before you think about why it might not work.
Lots of us are programmed to look at the negatives first; to be cynical about new ideas and reject them with the assumption that they’re doomed to failure. But what if they’re not?
Practice focusing on why an idea is good before you start exploring why it might be bad. Approach it with an attitude of curiosity and see how you could make it work. What would you need to do? What would you need to change? Who could you get to help? Not all ideas will lead to success, but having an open mind will lead to more and more good opportunities.

Love and sex are intertwined, but they don’t always go together. The difference between love and sex lies in acceptance. Genuine love is complete acceptance of another person. Sex — particularly the deeper attraction — is about polarity; the masculine and the feminine coming together in a powerful way.
This polarity is something to respect and protect. Masculinity and femininity, when they interact with respect and love — with acceptance — can change the world. Masculine energy cannot be complete without feminine energy, and vice versa. But together they are balanced.
When those two energies come together in a relationship, each person can become who they really are. Instead of fighting to fulfill every role in life, each person can develop in the areas they’re drawn to and trust, unconditionally, that the other half of their partnership will take responsibility for their part in the whole.

Struggling to sleep? You could be deficient in magnesium. This essential mineral helps you to fall asleep, as well improving the quality of sleep. It aids the function of a number of other physical processes too, and it known to lower blood pressure and lift low moods.
Magnesium is an ingredient in lots of the foods we eat every day, and it’s one of the most common minerals on the planet — and yet many of us don’t have enough of it in our bodies. Try picking up a magnesium supplement to top up your levels. It balances melatonin levels and supports the nervous system in settling down so that you feel relaxed and sleepy before you drift off.

No time to meditate today? Not true! Do this right now to incorporate a moment of meditative work into your day:
Place the palm of your hands again a textured surface. It could be a tree, the fabric of your chair or clothing, a wall, or any other surface available to you.
If possible, close your eyes — but if you’re doing this practice with other people around, it’s fine to keep them open. In that case just allow your vision to soften and become slightly hazy.
Focus your awareness on the sensations you feel in the palm of the hand. The connection between the hand and that surface, and the different elements of texture that you can identify. Become aware of the landscape of the texture beneath the hand. And keep this focus for 30 seconds.
After 30 seconds, take the hand away from that surface and rest it on something with a smoother texture, like your desk or even the back of your phone. Notice the change in sensation.
And then take one deep breath and carry on with your day.

In a good relationship you don’t have to feel restricted. You don’t have to feel as though you’re sacrificing your freedom in order to be with that person. In fact, it’s the opposite.
The support of a loving and trusting relationship makes you free. It gives you the space to pursue your dreams and to seek meaning in life with the knowledge that this person — this amazing, beautiful, strong, nurturing and inspiring person — is there to back you up.
When you are invested in the happiness of your partner, and they are invested in your happiness, something kind of incredible happens. You don’t feel insecure and neither does she. You don’t feel scared and you don’t feel limited, and neither does she. You feel as though nothing is beyond your reach and…life is good.

In the words of the Terminator himself, “training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress and thus tones the spirit just as exercise conditions the body.”
What Arnie is getting at is that our spiritual health is improved through exercise just as our physical health is. When you don’t move your body your energy gets stuck. You feel slow, static and low. And training your body moves that energy so that you are lifted and revitalized.
A number of ancient traditions also suggest that a fundamental truth of spiritual progression is that the body must be trained along with the mind — and whether you’re listening to movie heroes or spiritual gurus, this wisdom should not be ignored.

As social creatures, humans crave — and thrive within — community. But many of us don’t think about this in relation to our careers. Actually, considering the kind of community that would give you the most motivation, support and inspiration and then figuring out how to create that for your self can have a huge impact on your success.
It could be that the community you need is within a company, or it could be broader than that. For example, a community of people who are connected because they share a trade or skillset, or an online community of freelancers who offer one another their advice, conversation and mentorship.
Whether you work alone or within an organization you can enter into, or build from scratch, a community of likeminded professionals who will lift you up on the tough days and celebrate your victories with you. It’s good for your mindset, your development, and for networking opportunities.

Admitting when you’ve made a mistake is important. And saying sorry when you’ve hurt someone is crucial for healthy and loving relationships. But apologizing when you haven’t done anything wrong, or saying sorry just to make yourself more likable, can have a negative impact on your self esteem.
Do you say “I’m sorry to bother you, but…” when you’re asking for help? Do you include get-out statements in your requests, such as saying “Don’t worry if you’re too busy, but…” or do you use body language that makes you smaller or places you outside of the centre of focus?
Practice asking for things without using any apologetic language or behavior. It might feel uncomfortable to start with. But persevere and you’ll experience a shift in the confidence and respect you feel and receive.

Philosopher Baruch Spinoza suggested that we should look at each other’s characteristics and perceived faults “not in the light of vices of human nature, but as properties…” — with all of those properties being part of the human organism as a whole. He argued that all actions have a cause which can be discovered if you look for it. Thinking of people in this way can help us to be a little bit more understanding when their actions don’t live up to our expectations!
Make your first steps into this new year with compassion and curiosity. The next 365 days are waiting to be filled with love, open communication and deep connection. This is the perfect time to let go of how you think your relationships should be, and embrace the potential of what they could become.
Welcome, 2019!

Sleep may not be at the forefront of your thoughts on the eve of the new year — but how about making 2019 your Year of Better Sleep? Actually, it’s an all around life hack. If you commit to improving the quality and duration of your sleep throughout the year, any other resolutions you want to stick to will become easier.
Why?
Because sleep makes you more productive, more resilient, and increases your chances of making good decisions. The effects of even mild sleep deprivation cannot be underestimated, but lots of us place the blame on other aspects of our lifestyle before we consider whether the hours we spend (or don’t spend) asleep might be responsible for some of our day to day problems. So — happy new year and happy snoozing!

Do you struggle with tense personal relationships, or find yourself getting frustrated frequently at work? If conflict and irritation is the norm for you, it’s worth considering that other people might not be to blame.
You don’t have to be impatient and irritable.
Research from Harvard University shows that a regular meditation practice — even for just a few minutes a day — can make you behave more kindly towards other people. This is because meditation heightens your sense of compassion and empathy; it becomes easier for you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and realize that they’re not trying to annoy you. And the more you meditate, the more likely you’ll be Teflon to negativity. The result for you? You’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll connect better with other people.
Source: https://news.northeastern.edu/2013/04/02/enlightening-research-shows-meditation-boosts-compassion/

STRESS RELIEF:
Feeling stressed? A lot? Every day? Every hour, even? Don’t worry — you’re not alone. But you don’t have to feel this way.
A simple solution for stress which works in the short term but can actually have long term positive implications for the levels of stress hormones in your body is: laughter!
Head to YouTube and watch some standup — if no comedian springs to mind, we recommend Judah Friedlander or Dave Chapelle. Or download comedy podcasts to your phone and listen on your way to work. Studies show that laughter reduces stress, promotes good health and even helps to manage physical pain. It stimulates the production of chemicals in your brain which make you feel happier; and by laughing at least twice a day, even when you’re not feeling great, you can use these chemicals to counter the effects of stress hormones in your body.
Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2762283/

YOUR BODY:
It’s easy to think about health and fitness in terms of right now. In terms of how our bodies look, how attractive we are, and how much weight we can lift.
But what about the long term?
Thinking about your body in the future is less popular because…well, who wants to think about their bodies in 40 or 50 years time?! But actually, focusing on sustainable and long term health can motivate you to create habits which will stay with you for the rest of your life.
Is the food you’re eating now really giving you the fuel you need to function well long term? Are you focusing on a short, intense period of working out or dieting to achieve a short term goal — or do you want to build a diet and exercise regime that will make you feel and look good for years to come?

YOUR CAREER:
Billionaire entrepreneur Charlie Munger says that the “safest way to try and get what you want is to try and deserve what you want.” What does that mean? In essence, it means you need to give before you receive; be generous, share what you can with the world, and in doing so you’ll win the trust and respect of the people you come into contact with.
And that will come back to you. Those people you helped will be happy to help you when they can, and they’ll think of you when opportunities arise that they know you’d be perfect for.
Whether you call it karma, the law of attraction, reaping what you sow or just common sense — it doesn’t matter. Help where you can and you get back as much, if not more than you give.
Source: https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/26/charlie-mungers-says-he-achieved-success-by-living-by-this-rule.html

YOUR MINDSET:
What does clarity mean to you?
Clarity is important in a short term, micro sense and in a long term, macro sense. In this moment right now, conscious awareness helps you to see things as they are. It cuts through delusions and illusions and gives you the space to recognize what’s working and what isn’t. And in the long term, clarity allows you to see what you’re aiming for, what you want to achieve, and develop a solid plan for getting there.
Being clear about what you want means that you can take purposeful steps into the future. So get clear! Use the tools available to you, including meditation and writing, to identify what’s most important to you and plan your route to success in all areas of life.

Happy Holidays from Meditate.Awake! What is this time of year really about, if not love? Forget about the daily grind today. Relinquish responsibility for the pressures in your life, whatever they may be.
And love the people you’re with. This can be easier said than done — lots of us struggle as we reunite with rarely-seen relatives today and negotiate undercurrents of tension. But whether you are spending the day with people you get with easily, or whether you’re dealing with more difficult relationships; love them. Love the people you’re with. Drop the conditions and just love them.
Know that you can disagree with them and still love them. You can be the one who steps up and sees beyond past conflict and stress. You might find that you feel some of that love being directed right back at you.

You’ve probably heard that there are different stages of sleep — but do you know what those stages are and why each one of them is important?
The five stages are build one on another starting with light sleep; then deeper sleep, when eye movement reduces and the brain waves slow down; then even deeper delta sleep; then continued deep delta sleep; and finally, REM (rapid eye movement) sleep.
All of these stages make up a complete sleep cycle which usually takes between 90-120 minutes to complete. Good quality uninterrupted sleep is vital because each stage plays a unique part in restoring the body’s energy and promoting healing processes. A good night’s sleep typical include 4-5 complete cycles! Get to know your sleep cycles and give your body the time it needs to rest.

Studies which use brain imaging to look at what happens to the brain while meditating have shown that meditation can actually change the brain physically in a number of different ways. One such change is an increase in tissue in the brain region that regulates impulse control and concentration.
Seriously. The part of your brain that helps you focus and make good, considered decisions gets bigger when you meditate. That gives a whole new meaning to personal growth, doesn’t it? Meditation doesn’t just help you grow on an emotional level, it expands important brain areas physically too. If you struggle to commit to a meditation practice, there’s some concrete motivation straight from the research labs of neuroscientists!
Source: https://www.pnas.org/content/107/35/15649

Sometimes, to get out of a stressed, anxious headspace, the best thing to do is something completely out of your comfort zone.
Think of it like this: our stress is relative. People who are financially secure, for example, might be more likely to worry about the details when people on the poverty line might be worried about how they’ll put the next meal on the table. This isn’t meant to minimize the validity of your stress, but just to point out that the things that get to us are relative to our overall security, health, and comfort in life.
So if you’re struggling with stress, do something that scares you. Gain perspective by going beyond your current level of comfort. You might have experienced this kind of perspective before; for example, traveling in a country where you don’t speak the language, and realizing that getting by at home in your own language is actually very simple in comparison.

A vast number of men try to exercise their way to fitness, thinking that by training hard they can override the importance of healthy eating. This was the preferred method of Kevin Curry — now a men’s nutrition guru — before he realized that it just wasn’t possible to get the body he wanted without changing what he ate.
“Our bodies are built in the kitchen,” he says, and “sculpted in the gym”. And if you avoid eating well because you think it won’t taste as good…you couldn’t be more wrong. By educating yourself on food, just as Curry did, you can enter into a whole new world of eating in which you can become healthy and fit and eat tasty, nourishing food — instead of tasty almost-but-not-quite-food devoid of nutritional value.
Source: https://fitmencook.com/about-fit-men-cook/

MINDSET:
For those moments when you need to regain your focus and mental clarity quickly, use this practice — inspired by a traditional Indian technique called Trataka. You’ll need a flame; it could be a match, a lighter, or a candle.
Light the flame and then place it down or hold it at arms length in front of you. Focus your eyes on the flame. Don’t look away, and don’t blink. Keep your gaze on the flame until your eyes are watering and you really have to close them.
And then when you close your eyes spend a few moments noticing the colors and shapes that you see in the darkness behind the eyelids.
As well as improving concentration this technique is thought to help keep your eyes healthy, and it has a calming effect on an overstimulated mind.

Move on instead of holding on. When we’re stressed out we hold on tight to everything we can. We create more and more tension in our minds and bodies — it builds, and builds, and on and on; and we get wound up so tight that we can’t see anything clearly.
So instead of holding on, move on. Take a deep breath and make the conscious decision to let go of physical tension. The body relaxes. The chest opens and expands. Take another deep breath and make the conscious decision to let go of mental tension.
Moving on is very different from giving up. By deciding not to hold on to your stresses and struggles you move yourself into a more flexible state of mind and from there, you can assess the challenges you face with calm and clarity.

Shame is one of those things that can be underlying our limits. So whether we seek to have a better career, make more money, or find a deeper purpose that serves humanity - hear how shame can play it’s part to hold you back!

You were meditation practice is yours. Trying to fit yourself into somebody else’s habits and routines may not always work, that’s why you will benefit from finding the meditation practice that works for you. Meditating in the morning is often beneficial so see what time, what style and what way meditation can help support your life!

I was walking down the street and was practicing a technique I use quite often to soften my perspective and increase my awareness, so I thought I’d record it for you. Please forgive the background noise as I wanted to capture it in the moment, and at the moment I was walking through Santa Monica :)

Sleep is such an important part of a balanced & awake life. Here i touch on two things you can do today to help you unplug and fall asleep faster as well as wake up easier in the morning. Try it today!

We all get knocked off center sometimes. This is a quick and effective way to reset. Find a place where you have 2-3 minutes to not be bothered and give it a shot... what do you have to lose besides stress??

Malcolm Gladwell writes that “Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.” To get where you want to go in life you have to start practicing now. Today. If you save your dedication and focus for when you are successful, you’ll never be successful. Listen to hear more!

Often times I say “Bring meditation to life” and this story illustrates just how that looks like in life. Meditation is the foundation, one side of a triangle, with the other to sides being “insight” and “action”.

TIME SAVER is a series that brings you top passages from the best books so you can experience the highlights of some of the best authors. Passages will be thought provoking, motivational, funny, educational, and always with the purpose of supporting a positive, awake life.

Hungry Angry Lonely Tired... four filters to scan your experience and get calibrated during the your day. Get the extra support you need when you’re around family, friends, or coworkers by supporting yourself with the H.A.L.T. test.