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I had a gay friend of mine recently comment on the “view” while on the commuter train. He is a particular fan of the drooping waistlines and exposed boxers that our urban youth seem to favor these days. His take on all this, and I’m quoting, “Why wouldn’t I take the train? Hey, I get to ride to work and check out some ass for free. Last time I saw that much ass on display, there was a cover charge.”

So the next time that your son tells you “that’s the style”, you can point to this article and explain that there is some 40+ year old gay guy walking around checking out his ass. If you don’t want them looking, then pull your damn pants up. s

I can’t help but notice that many people are posting about how men suck, how women suck. Blah, blah,blah. It’s really easy to blame everyone else. Heck, that’s even an officially sanctioned thing. If you went home and ran your parents through a meat grinder, it must somehow be THEIR fault that you killed them and turned them into patties for the church cookout. However, that’s an entirely seperate rant.

The fact of the matter in all strings of sucky relationships is that there is one common denominator. There is one factor that remains the same from one crappy relationship to the next. This is the part no one ever wants to hear. It is a stark and unflattering truth. That one common factor is – you guessed, kids – YOU. For what ever reason in your dark and twisted past, you are attracted to psycho-bitches/complete assholes. And for some reason, you send out subconscious signals that attract the psycho-bitches/complete assholes to you.

Worse yet, people will treat you as shabbily as you let them. Think that last statement over and let it sink in for a moment. If you act like a doormat, then the psycho-bitches/complete assholes will think that they have free reign to run all over you. The first time they try, you need stand up to them and let them know that this is NOT going to happen again. Then they will either slink back to what ever rock you found them under or they will straighten up and actually act like a decent human being.

Psycho-bitches/complete assholes come in two varieties. First is the upfront psycho-bitches/complete assholes. You can usually spot them because they say something like “The last person I dated was a psycho-bitch/complete asshole.” That’s usually your cue to exit stage right. The second type is the stealth psycho-bitches/complete assholes. They have really nice things to say about their last relationship until you’re about 6 months into the new relationship in which case the ex is now in the “psycho-bitches/complete assholes” category and you know that they were being nice because they secretly want the ex back. You also know that you’re nothing more than a placeholder for the ex.

Half the problem is that people who are dating don’t know what it is to be an adult. They grew up with their parents letting them get away with lying. They cheated in high school. They went off to college, joined a frat or sorority, which often takes cheating in class to a whole new level. They lack both ethics and maturity. Then you meet them and they apply those same ethics and maturity levels to you. That’s what happens when you date “guys” and “girls” instead of men and women.

For you ladies out there, seriously, stop acting like it’s high school. If you want a real man, act like a real women. Be upfront about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want from a relationship. A real man will find
you. He will be someone you can trust and rely on and who will stay
with you. If you like a man, say so. Don’t be stalkerish, but do ask him out. Be woman enough to risk the rejection. Men have been doing it for centuries. You can do it once. And if he says no, don’t take it personally. It’s not some indictment of your character, hygiene, or personal style. If he says yes, don’t be afraid to pay. You don’t have to be sugar mamma, but if you’re worried he might think dinner includes dessert at your house, don’t set that expectation. Pay your half.

For you guys, if you want a real woman, you need to act like a real man. Be up front about how you feel. Tell the truth. Be upfront about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want from a relationship. If you like a woman, for gods sakes, speak up. Be plain. Women, as intuitive as we are, are not psychic. Be man enough to risk the rejection. A real woman will find you.

For decades men have blamed everything on women’s hormones, including their own foul moods. New research shows that men are just as susceptible. But when I saw this study, I had to read it. It confirms what millions of women, world over, have known. Men can be whiny bitches too!

In this case, there’s a quiz to see if you might be susceptible to this. I ran through it for my husband and I think that I’ll be having a chat with his doctor the next time I go in for a “sinus infection”. I think that the doctor should check his testosterone levels the next time he has blood drawn.

I’ve maintained for a long time now that women are their own worst enemies. Too many of our sisters “shake that money maker” for a few dollars. Another case in point is a lawn service in Tennessee. The lawn service is run by women and they mow in bikinis. They’ve even said that they’ll come rake leaves in the fall in bikinis. Rather than doing a better job, they flash a little skin and get paid. It sounds like another exploitative profession – topless dancing. Why not just slap a price tag on your ass and stand on the corner while you’re at it? How are men supposed to respect us when we keep trading on our sexuality to get a few extra bucks?

Now most of us see a title like this and we think about playing with them, cooing at them, changing their diapers, feeding them and all the other things NORMAL people do with a baby. What would never occur to most of us is that you should put the child in a microwave and push “Start”. Yet this is exactly what one 19-year old man thought he should do. The mother left to go to a near by restaurant to pick up dinner when the man decided that he’d do see what happens.

The worst part is that now the mother of the child is defending him, saying that because he wants to be a preacher, Satan sees him as a threat. It was Satan that made him put the child in the microwave and “he’s really a wonderful father.” How come anyone who is the big a MO-RON is allowed to have kids in the first place? I hope to God that there aren’t any other children in this family. She has no more business with a child than I do with a tactical nuke. How can you conceivably defend someone who tried to cook your child to the tune of 2nd and 3rd degree burns? Husband or not, do this to my kid, and you had better never ever sleep again. ‘Nuff said…

Let me tell you something, you stupid whore – “Wonderful Fathers” do NOT cook their kids in a microwave like a freaking hot dog.

I know someone that we’ll call her Nancy. Nancy was dating a guy named Henry. Henry asked Nancy marry him even though Henry had several other women going on the side, including a couple of other marriage proposals. Now, Henry is an pathologist (M.D.) and even though he’s 41, he’s got a nice lifestyle from his profession. Nancy found out about Henry’s other women.

Henry explained to her that they were just friends, but Nancy wasn’t completely reassured. Because she was suspicious, she installed some software on his computer to see what Henry was up to. Lo and behold, Henry is a cheating man-ho. It didn’t take long before the IM’s and emails offered up proof that Henry was carrying on more than platonic relationships with the other women.

Now, Nancy started poking around to see what else Henry had told her was a lie. She uncovered an incident where he had beaten a former girlfriend. Apparently this incident had not been sent to the licensing board and Henry is quite concerned that Nancy will notify them of the incident. If Henry were to loose or have his license to practice medicine suspended, this would greatly impact his lifestyle.

Now, instead of just letting this looser go, Nancy has decided to terrorize Henry. She’s been contacting the other women that Henry has been seeing and informing them that Henry is a wife-beater. She’s made several posts on several web sites and even put up a web site that complains about Henry’s actions. Most of the information has been removed due to complaints by Henry. However, Nancy is still unwilling to move on. She spends her days obsessed by what Henry’s doing and what woman Henry is taking advantage of next. Apparently, Henry’s newest target is a young lady that works for him. Since she’s only 21, Nancy wants to advise this girl’s parents of Henry’s previous actions.

Nancy has also been trying to obtain Henry’s cell phone records and a host of other personal information in the hopes that this will some how give her the ammunition to “ruin him like he’s ruined so many women.” Frankly I find this behavior to be some what at odds with “normal”. In spite of suggestions that she seek professional help and being told point blank that she’s acting like a stalker, she persists in knowing what Henry is up to at any given moment. The really sad part is that Nancy is a single mom. If she’d devote half as much time and energy to making money as she does to trying to “nail” Henry, she’d a millionaire by now. I’m sure that her child would benefit from some of this mis-spent time an attention to.

I have a friend that we’ll call Lacey and she has a husband we’ll call Todd. This is a classic example of how stoopid and helpless you men are. Todd can’t find his cell phone so he picks up the house phone and calls Lacey at work. He asks her to call his cell phone so that he can find his cell phone. She politely told him that he could use the house phone, which he’s holding in his hand, to call his cell phone and listen to it ring. He actually had the nerve to tell her that she wasn’t being very helpful. Now, since my friend called me at work to whine about this, I thought I’d add it to the blog of human stupidity.