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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Parking Wars

I love this show. Here's the premise: a camera crew follows a parking enforcement officer (or two) around a city as they give tickets and boot cars. It's always in what I think of as second tier cities - Providence, RI, Detroit, Philly, etc.

I love this show because I am fascinated by people's reactions to getting a ticket. I got a ticket once. Yes, once. I was 20, and illegally parked outside of a restaurant to run in and pick up my order instead of trying to find a parking spot in a mostly full parking lot. Do you know why I did that? Because, like the guy who recently jumped into the tiger den at the Bronx Zoo, I momentarily lost any semblance of common sense. Thank goodness my lack of sense simply resulted in a little embarrassment and a loss of $25 or whatever it was, and didn't result in multiple broken bones, and national public humiliation. I don't know why I thought my desire to save some time was more important than following laws, but it's over 15 years later now and I've never done that again. As someone who spent a good portion of 1995 being carried on back boards in and out of ambulances, I should really have known better.

When the ticketing officer came over to me with the ticket, I tried to talk my way out of it. He politely but firmly refused my (admittedly very lame) excuse. I mumbled a thank you while taking the ticket, because while I may have been a horrible kid, I was at least a horrible kid who learned good manners.

I am amazed by all the people on Parking Wars who scream, curse and threaten the parking people. I guess that's what makes for good tv. I wonder if they act like assholes because there's a camera crew. Ten years ago, when reality shows were newer, yes maybe. These days, I am guessing having a camera in your face is simply not as big a deal.

Though I have still not been able to wrap my brain around how people can behave so badly, treat others so poorly, and not be horribly ashamed of their behavior. The other thing I don't understand is the sense of entitlement so many of these people have. I want to understand the psychology behind being angry at yourself for a stupid decision and taking it out on the person who forces you to acknowledge those stupid decisions.

Hey all this talk of driving reminds me - can I borrow your car for an hour or so? I like to drive every few months. I'm terrified of forgetting how. Thanks, and I promise not to get any tickets.

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

We Will Not Step Over Him

(Encyclopedia_Brown, thank you, that was very sweet.)

So Turkey fired the Sub. In a weird twist of what-the-fuckness, the Sub claimed to Turkey and Office Manager (who was there as a witness) that I was trying to sabotage his job. Turkey has clearly been drinking the Green Kool Aid because according to Office Manager, totally stood up for me and was all, "Green would NEVER do that! She has tried over and over to help you!" Which is true. I did try to help him as much as I could. I'm touched that Turkey knew.

Now we're working on getting a new Personal Assistant. Turkey is interviewing someone tomorrow. At his country home (which he's at for the week). I am terrified this poor girl will show up at his house and Turkey will be naked, save for socks, in the pool. By the way, Turkey is very scatter-brained. He decided to spend the first week of each summer month at his country home. I decided, why stop there? So I scheduled him to go there through the rest of the year for the first week of every month. Let's see what happens!

Anyway. I got outrageously stressed out about the Sub being fired. I almost called in sick the day it was going to happen. The PA and Sub are good friends. Turkey's been having the PA work from home so today was the first time she showed up at the office in almost a month. She tried to tell me that if I get the chance, I should go to Burning Man. Ha ha ha! Clearly she doesn't know me at ALL.

The good thing about her showing up at the office though, was that she told me the Sub was given two weeks severance pay, and a week after being fired he got another job. He really deserved to be let go. I felt bad about it so it was quite a relief to hear he found work so easily. Whenever I hear about anyone being out of work I am instantly terrified for them that they will go through what I did, and have to stifle the urge to ask if they need some tampons or toothpaste.