Bottoms Up: Drinking Wine Makes Sperm Stronger

According to new research published in Systems Biology in Reproductive Medicine, winos have superior sperms. Therefore, drinking vino is not just a sexy way to get in the mood (for sexual intercourse), but it might make a dude more fertile.

Research out of the Nofer Institute of Occupational Medicine in Poland suggests that dudes who drink wine “in moderation”* had “stronger sperm.” CBS’s coverage did not indicate whether these moderate wine drinkers had stronger sperm than dry guys or guys who binge drink, just sperm that is “stronger.”

The researchers concluded that contrary to past research, but not contrary to common sense, “lifestyle factors may affect semen quality.” Other lifestyle factors that may or may not strengthen sperm? More leisure time, a little coffee here and there, and loose fitting drawers (boxers). Here’s a lifestyle factor that may or may not weaken sperm: using a cellphone for a decade. What have we learned? I guess if you’re trying to get knocked up, you and your man should hangout in your underwear alternating between drinking moderate amounts of coffee and drinking moderate amounts of wine. You should also throw his cellphone into a volcano.

*The Centers for Disease Control defines “moderate drinking” as two drinks a day.