The Jew from 1492

Was Christopher Columbus Jewish?!

Do you ever find yourself surprised to discover that certain historical figures are Jewish? Of course you do. Why, just last week, I found out Moses was Jewish! Go figure. Or are you too busy trying to cope with the economy? When I’m not too busy trying to cope with the economy or wondering how Carrot Top has been able to maintain his career, I enjoy thinking about famous Jews. Just to name three – Groucho Marx, Harry Houdini and my uncle Heshie who has a patent on liquid kishke. I started wondering about which other famed historical figures that we usually don’t think of as Jewish actually were Members of the Tribe. What with October containing Columbus Day, I decided to look into the possibility that Christopher Columbus may have been Jewish. Apparently, the facts bear it out:

I decided to look into the possibility that Christopher Columbus may have been Jewish.

On August 3, 1492, due to the Edict of Expulsion, all Jews were required to leave Spain. Boarding their vessels before midnight, and sailing one-half hour before sunrise, Columbus and his crew set out on his now-famous voyage. In 1492. Coincidence, or persecution? Hey, I’m just reporting the facts, folks.

As with the Jews, Columbus was constantly leaving his country, in search of a better life someplace else. Even if he wasn’t kicked out or being chased out with the other Jews, perhaps the kicking and chasing were all happening internally. At least according to Dr. Hiram Selwyn, a psychotherapist who specializes in navigators, colonizers and explorers. “Columbus definitely had his demons,” explains Selwyn. “And back then, there was no psychotherapy, 24 Hour Fitness Centers or TiVo to help work out those demons. So one tended to take refuge in either alcohol or, in the case of non-drinking Jews – exploration of other lands.”

Again, like most Jews, Columbus was terrible with directions. Severely underestimating the circumference of the Earth, he estimated that a westward route from Iberia to the Indies would be shorter and more direct than the overland trade route through Arabia. If true, this would allow Spain entry into the lucrative spice trade — heretofore commanded by the Arabs and Italians. Following his plotted course, and lacking any GPS navigation system, he instead landed within the Bahamas Archipelago at a locale he named San Salvador. Mistaking the North-American island for the East-Asian mainland, he referred to its inhabitants as “Indios.” As if that wasn’t enough, once informed of his mistake, Columbus’s response: “So sue me.” Which was also the first known historical utterance of this famous line.

Columbus had to ask the woman in his life both for permission to go on his trip, and for money to finance it. On May 1, 1486, Columbus presented his plans to his shiksa goddess, Queen Isabella, who, in turn, in a gesture foreshadowing contemporary business practice, referred it to a committee. After continually lobbying at the Spanish court and two years of negotiations, he finally had success in 1492. According to Columbus’s diary, he celebrated with a bottle of Manishevitz and some whitefish and bialies.

Many scholars believe that Columbus’s historic voyage was financed by wealthy and influential Jews-many themselves converts-rather than a magnanimous King and Queen of Spain. This is based primarily on a t-shirt Columbus often wore, upon which was the slogan, “God bless the wealthy and influential Jews who finance my voyages.”

He named his vehicles after women. To stay on Isabella’s good side, Columbus named his ships after females -- Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria. “Had it been completely up to me, though,” he writes in his diary, “I had already selected the names, the Gittel, the Miriam, and the Shoshana.”

Columbus employed peculiar dates and phrases unique to the Hebrew people. Instead of referring to the "destruction" or "fall of Jerusalem," he used the phrase "the destruction of the second house." He also employed the Hebrew reckoning of 68 A.D. instead of 70 A.D. A marginal note dated 1481 is immediately given its Hebrew equivalent of 5241, etc. And instead of the popular term “breakfast,” Columbus was known to refer to it as “a bagel with a shmear, some shmaltz herring, a little whitefish, and some ruggaleh.”

Columbus was known to refer to breakfast as “a bagel with a shmear,”

He boasted that he was related to King David. Some scholars, however, feel that this was solely motivated by Columbus’s desire to impress Jewish women.

Some of his letters were described as written in an "unknown script,” which many scholars interpret as meaning Hebrew. But this does explain why Queen Isabella seldom responded to his letters – she couldn’t understand them! (Note: there is a school of thought that explains this as Columbus’s temporary interest in becoming a doctor. They theorize that he was trying to write as illegibly as possible to fit in with the typical physician’s handwriting style of the day).

Columbus is said to have used a unique triangular signature similar to inscriptions found on gravestones of ancient Jewish cemeteries in Spain and Southern France. Granted, he signed his correspondence this way primarily when he was really drunk, but still...

Whenever he informed people he met that he was Jewish, he’d invariably get the response, “You’re kidding; I would’ve sworn you’re Italian.” And then Columbus would explain that he was, in fact, both, and that being Italian and Jewish are not mutually exclusive. To prove it, Columbus would then give them a taste of his halvah cannoli.

Finally, though this is far from scientific or historical, add up the numbers in 1492 and you get my Uncle Heshie’s lucky number. I’m just saying.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter whether Columbus was Jewish or not. Albert Einstein said, “True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.” Anyway, I’m already thinking ahead to next month’s Thanksgiving holiday. I have a fairly reliable lead that both Captain John Smith and Pocahontas may have been Jewish. I’ll keep you posted.

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About the Author

Mark Miller is a comedy writer who has performed stand-up comedy in nightclubs and on TV, written on numerous sit-com staffs, been a humor columnist for the Los Angeles Times Syndicate and is a current humor blogger for The Huffington Post. His first book, a collection of his humor essays on dating and romance, was published by Skyhorse Publishing on February 3rd of 2015. Its title: 500 Dates: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars. But he says he’d trade all his success away in a minute for immortality, inner peace and limitless wealth. Follow his website/blog at: http://www.markmillerhumorist.com/. And he can be reached at: mark.writer@gmail.com

Visitor Comments: 6

RUMOR HAS IT THAT HE ALSO WROTE AND SPOKE IN LADINO, THE LANGUAGE OF MY FAMILY...SEPHARDIC JEWS. GO FIGURE!

(4)
David,
October 20, 2009 11:12 PM

Much has been hidden

Many of the Jews in Spain had to flee or convert and fleeing was ultimately preferable to converting. Even those that converted faced the inquisition. The history of the Jews of Spain has been hidden and needs to come out. I have found that my fathers family was Jewish and no one dared tell my brother and I because of the risk to the family. Traditions and fear die hard.

unlisted,
August 25, 2013 2:07 AM

Inquisition followed those who fled

Many of those who fled and came to the New World also faced the Inquisition, who set up quemadoras in Mexico City and were burning Jews at the stake!

(3)
Carol,
October 20, 2009 11:10 PM

very likely

As written in the book, "The Light and the Glory" by Marshall and Manuel this all sounds likely to me. Like Columbus, many of us have Jewish lineage and it is not recorded anywhere. Through the years the years, surviving persecution has required a lot of planning. It will all be different on day and the world will be wanting to make their Jewish heritage known.

(2)
Charles,
October 19, 2009 8:02 PM

Not a funny subject

Of course he was a Jew, or at least of Israeli heritage! There is much evidence that he was evacuating Hebrew people out of Spain, since that is when we were expelled. The Catholic myth is a lie! The Catholics KNEW this was too great a happening to keep secret, so they invented the lie that he was spreading Catholic heresy to the "New World". Columbus was definitely a Hebrew, but do we know if he was Jewish? No we don't.
Our history books are filled with Catholic lies, and I don't mind saying so. We Hebrews are going to have to take a stand against these lies. Our children deserve better.

(1)
Naomi Schlessel,
October 19, 2009 4:26 PM

Interesting

A few years ago, I read a book which theorizes - and offers evidence - that yes, Columbus was Jewish.

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...