Michael Mahalchick Will Be Stripping Today at NADA

We’ve already got a big fat bonerang for Michael Mahalchick, creator of our Official Art F City Judy Chicago Wiener. So imagine our joy when we heard that we’ll get to see even more of him today at NADA! This morning, we received a dispatch from our Editor Paddy Johnson, with cryptic but very tantalizing soundbytes related to some sort of stripper-themed performance that’s going down at 4:30pm, for one hour only.

He’s going to be a “very exotic dancer”.

He’s wearing 6-inch lucite heels and a bikini.

There will be a champagne room. Cost: $100.

“It’s like a strip club but it’s an art fair, so it’s more expensive.” According to Mahalchick, run-of-the-mill lap dance only costs about $25.

“You should charge them $80 to keep your shirt on,” friend says.

“You gotta upsell,” says friend.

For $500, Mahalchick will visit your mom and say nice things about you. The travel and expenses are on you.

He wondered, what is the most contemporary dance? “It’s either hiphop or exotic.” He chose exotic.

How did Mahalchick learn to become a “very exotic dancer”? “Youtube is great for giving tips for dancing.”

Why is he doing this? “If Marina Abramovic can stare at people for eight hours and pee into a little hole then I figure I can stand on some heels for an hour.”