A Kidney to Give

Why I donated my kidney to someone I didn't know.

If you really want a conversation stopper, tell someone you are planning to donate a kidney and you don't even know who you're giving it to.

That's what's been going on in my life.

It all started three years ago in Denver when my husband's good friend needed a kidney. None of his family matched or was able to donate for various reasons. If you have any history of kidney disease, have had certain illnesses like cancer, or possess the wrong blood type, you're out.

One night I was up late and asked "Rabbi Google" some questions about kidney donations. I just wanted to see what he was going through. There was a lot of information out there, and I began to see that based on the requirements and restrictions, I was actually a very good candidate to donate a kidney.

My blood type is O Positive, which in the world of kidney donations makes me a universal donor. I can only receive from an O, but I can give to anyone. Many blood types can only give to their own type. Some, like AB, are universal receivers. They can only give to their own type, but can receive from anyone. I was a universal donor, and I liked the sound of it. Now I had to see if I could live up to the title.

The idea of donations on the medical front always appealed to me. There are many restrictions in Torah law regarding this, and one needs to consult a competent authority in Jewish law to find out what exactly is permitted and what is forbidden.

Years ago in Toronto I ran bone marrow drives for a young man from New Jersey who was looking for a match in order to cure his leukemia. I learned a lot about that type of donation/transplant, and became a strong advocate for people to register in the bone marrow bank. (Go to www.giftoflife.org.)

A couple of years later, I was called in as a possible match for someone. I was disappointed to be disqualified after further testing.

So the idea of donating my kidney crossed my mind. After speaking to my husband and our rabbi, I decided to offer our friend my kidney. He was extremely grateful and touched, and we began the process of medical testing. Immediately into the process his medical team felt that since he was so much bigger than I was, my kidney would never be able to sustain his body. I was rejected and so disappointed.

A few months later we relocated to the Washington D.C. area to work for Aish. I saw an email that had gone out through the internal Aish system about a very sick five-year-old boy who needed a kidney. I replied, explaining to them that I had already done the research and felt I was a good candidate to give a kidney.

How could I say no to someone else just because I didn't know them?

A few days later I received a reply that said it turned out that the boy was too sick for the transplant, but would I be willing to be tested for some other people?

The person who wrote me back was Chaya Lipschutz, an observant Jewish woman from New York. She gave her kidney to someone years ago, and her brother, Yosef, did the same. Now she was devoting her life to help others.

That was my first moral dilemma. For our friend, yes. For a little boy, yes. How could I say no to someone else just because I didn't know them?

I filled out the forms and began the process of testing again. There were three women from New York that I was being tested for, in their 30s and 40s, and each with several children. All three were very sick and in desperate need of a kidney.

I passed the first stage, and they accepted me as a candidate to be an "altruistic donor" (someone who has no connection to the recipient). Now I had to discuss it with my husband.

I told him that I did not really know why I wanted to do it, but I did. I explained that the tests could rule me out at any time. He was not enthusiastic and wanted to speak to our rabbi about it, but we agreed to go forward.

Very few people at this stage knew what I was thinking of doing. Their reactions were, by and large, uniformly negative. How could I put my life at risk? I had children and a husband and responsibilities. What was I thinking? What if I needed a kidney one day? What if one of my kids needed one and I couldn't give it?

I tried to explain to them that for the donor the risks are very low, about the same as any surgery where there is general anesthetic. The recovery time is about the same as a c-section (without a newborn baby to take care of 24/7). Yes, I was thinking, and had done extensive research. And if you donate a kidney, and for some reason down the road you need one yourself, instead of waiting on a first come, first served list (which in New York State is an average of eight years), you are bumped to the very top of the list. Now that's insurance. (The Kidney Donor Clinic at the Montefiore Medical Center had only one such case in the 20 years they had been doing transplants.)

I did ask Pat, the wonderful woman who runs the clinic, what if one of my kids or one of my parents needs one down the road? She told me that six months after taking the job running the transplant clinic, her own brother got sick and needed a kidney. She was able to give him hers and save his life. Years later she developed cancer which she beat. She explained to me that if she had hesitated and waited to give him her kidney now, she would have been disqualified as a donor because of the cancer. In other words, God runs the world, and when presented with a mitzvah, an opportunity to save someone's life, grab it. It may not come again. To hold back and live in a world of "What if...?" could cost lives.

I also explained to people that I felt so much more comfortable giving my kidney to someone I didn't know, as opposed to someone I knew. Imagine if I gave a friend a kidney and months later I ask my friend to do me a favor and cover my carpool. She says she is too busy to do it. And what will I be thinking? I gave you my kidney, you can't cover my carpool??

Testing, 1-2-3

Through emails and phone calls, the kidney clinic gave me a long list of medical tests I had to pass in order to make this all happen -- mammogram, CAT scans, renal scans... They told me I could be eliminated at any time. I still had not told my extended family. I did not want them to worry, and what if it didn't pan out?

Some of the tests I had done locally, but some had to be performed at Montefiore, which was located in the Bronx. On a trip home from Israel I had a connection there, so I arranged to stay on for two days and get as many tests done as possible.

My friend, Rebecca, who had travelled with me to Israel on my annual women's mission, stayed with me in New York. She had been very apprehensive about this whole "kidney thing" as she called it, but is such a good friend that she agreed to tag along for moral support.

In the end it was more than just moral. One of the procedures was a 24-hour test that restricted me to the couch, lest any movement impact the test results. So Rebecca had to go out searching for kosher food and wait on me for 24 hours.

But the most intense part of the two days was when we arrived. We had just traveled across the world from Israel after finishing a whirlwind tour and we needed a good shower. We landed at JFK early in the morning on a day a freak tornado had touched down in Brooklyn.

The city was in chaos and traffic was a nightmare. It took us five hours to get from JFK to the Bronx in stop and go traffic. On the trip we tried to encourage our driver who seemed more exhausted and nauseous than us. He clearly did not want to be on the road that day, and I was afraid he was just going to pull over and say forget it, so I played the "kidney card" in hopes of gaining his sympathy.

"Why would God give us two kidneys if we only needed one?" I replied, "He gave us one to keep and one to give away."

He was quite fascinated and asked me, "Why would God give us two kidneys if we only needed one?" I replied, quoting Dr. Greenstein, an observant doctor from the clinic, "He gave us one to keep and one to give away."

When we finally arrived, disheveled, exhausted and weak with our mass of luggage, the transplant coordinators came to the hospital lobby to greet us. They took one look at Rebecca and asked her, "Are you the recipient?"

I spent the afternoon giving blood and taking tests, while Rebecca settled us into our apartment-hotel room they provided for us around the corner from the hospital. Later that night we laughed about how they mistook her for the recipient of my kidney.

"You know, Rebecca," I said, suddenly serious, "if you did need a kidney, I would give you mine."

"Yes," she said. "I know."

"Then how can I not give away my kidney, just because it's for someone I don't know? Somebody knows them. They are someone's wife, sister, friend and daughter."

"Okay," she said. "I get it."

From Tests to Transplant

I continued to pass through the myriad of tests and thankful to get to the next stage. It was also comforting to know that I was, thank God, healthy from head to toe. They told me that there had been many times that a potential donor's life was saved, as they had discovered things wrong that had gone undetected.

My husband was still not fully on board. He was doing his own research, had spoken to a nephrologist and our rabbi. The doctor told him that people can live a perfectly normal and healthy life with one kidney. Our rabbi told him that saving a life was a very big mitzvah and he should support me in every way. My husband travelled to the clinic, met the transplant team, and gave me 100% support.

The transplant clinic called to let me know that the recipient had been told that she indeed had a kidney donor and the transplant was to be in two weeks. They wait until the last minute to tell the recipient -- it can be devastating to think you have a donor and, for whatever reason, it falls through.

What are the reasons? Number one is that people back out, due to their own doubts and fears and the negative pressure they sometimes feel from family and friends. On two separate occasions I had well meaning people sit down with me and try to convince me not to do this "kidney thing". If I hadn't done so much research to refute their fears, and if I didn't feel completely committed to what I was doing, I would have caved as well.

The clinic wanted to know if I wanted to speak to the woman who would be my recipient. "Yes....no... yes!"

Clearly I had mixed feelings. What if I didn't like her? What if she was judgmental? Or, as one friend cautioned, what if she was taking drags on cigarettes in between sentences? I was more concerned about it being just incredibly awkward.

In the end I decided that I did want to speak to her, but only if she felt comfortable to speak to me. I told them to give her my number, but she shouldn't feel obliged to call.

For the next two days I kept my cell phone on, even when I was teaching. My heart literally leapt each time it rang. But it was never her. Finally, on the third night, as I was walking into a class, my phone rang and it was her.

We made up to speak in an hour after my class. Completely distracted, I taught, and then went into my office and received her call. We talked for four hours.

We wanted to know everything about each other's lives -- our kids, our work, everything. It was one of the most significant conversations of my life.

She was an extremely brave woman with seven kids. She was one year older than me, and a year and a half ago during routine blood tests to correct a hernia she found out she had a deadly kidney disease, KPD.

Approximately 70,000 people in the United States are currently waiting for a kidney. Only 6,700 kidneys become available each year.

A kidney transplant is the only cure. Dialysis, which can only sustain a person for five to seven years, destroys a person's immune system and chains them to a grueling life. Approximately 70,000 people in the United States are currently waiting for a kidney. And the list grows each year. Only 6,700 kidneys become available each year through cadaver (after death) and live donations. Live donation kidneys give a person twice the chance of recovery, since it is healthy and fresh. And if a person receives a kidney before going on dialysis, their chance at recovery also doubles. Thousands each year die waiting.

I traveled to New York for the transplant with Rebecca who volunteered to come with me so my husband could take care of our kids on the home front. Our community of students and friends rallied and organized meals and carpools so I would not have to worry. So many people were now on board and being so supportive.

The surgery was scheduled for a Thursday. They needed me there three days before for more tests. On the Monday that we arrived the recipient of the kidney called and invited us to her home for dinner that night. I was excited and nervous at the same time. I felt like I was about to meet a twin sister separated from me at birth. We had the most incredible evening with her and her husband.

We were so alike in so many ways, and her husband even reminded me of my husband! Clearly this was a match made in heaven. She made us the most incredible, healthy gourmet dinner, and of course she could not eat a morsel. The only way she was able to stay off dialysis was to be vigilant in her diet. Since the day she was diagnosed, she had not had a gram of protein, dairy, citrus, potassium, and so many other foods. She told me lunch for her was a rice cake with lettuce. For a treat, she would put a bit of mayonnaise on it.

The meeting was awkward in some ways, but it was also very inspiring. In the year and a half she had been sick, she married off three children. She showed me the wedding albums, and later I asked her what she was thinking at the weddings, knowing that time was running out. "With each wedding I knew that this child would be alright. They had married a good person. If I was to die, it would be difficult for them, but they could go on. I just wanted to live long enough to marry off my last two children. Then I could go."

I couldn't even imagine being so strong. In the face of her dire situation, she always had a smile on her face. Her faith in God never wavered; in fact, it only strengthened. She continued to work full time, and was clearly the energy force of her family.

The night before the surgery she called me to tell me that I didn't have to do this. "Lori, you are taking a risk and I want you to know that you can absolutely change your mind. I will completely understand."

I was so moved, but reassured her that I will be there the next morning at 6am at the hospital as planned.

I called my parents and siblings that night to tell them for the first time what I was doing. They were surprised but incredibly supportive. I apologized for springing this on them at the last moment, but I did not want them to worry.

My Kidney Sister also told her children at the last moment. Months before they thought they had a donor, but two days before the surgery it was called off. They had found protein in the urine of the donor which eliminated the possibility of the transplant. The family was devastated.

The Big Day

Many people have asked me if I ever had any doubts. There was only one moment where I hesitated. It was when I was walking with the nurse to the operating room. There was a semi-sterile vestibule that we entered before entering the actual O.R. "Here we go," she said.

"Hold on," I said. "I need to say a prayer."

So I stood there and said the Shema, and asked God to let me live and that the operation should be a great success, and she should live.

"Okay," I said, "I'm ready."

I saw the lights, the long operating table with straps, and I froze. "What am I doing?"

And then she opened the doors to the O.R. and I was shocked to see so many people there, everyone running around doing all kinds of things with equipment and machines. I saw the lights, the long operating table with straps, and I froze. "What am I doing?" And then I closed my eyes and said to myself, "Just do it. Just do it."

I laid down on the table, and the next thing I knew I was in recovery and they were telling me it was a success and everything was alright.

It was over. But really it had just begun.

The Life It Gave Me

The surgery was laparoscopic and I was in the hospital for just a few days recovering. During that time, the grown children of my Kidney Sister and her extended family streamed into my room, crying and thanking me for saving her life. When I was feeling better, I would walk down the hall to visit her. She was doing great, and she told me again, that there are no words. The only way she could describe her feelings was that she felt that a truck was hurtling towards her full force, and I stepped in front of her from out of no where and put my arms out, stopping the truck.

God gave me the opportunity to give her life, and the gratitude she and her family feel towards me is immense. I realized that I should have that same gratitude to my parents, who gave me life. It was humbling to realize how casually we accept that we are here, and how little regard we have for the people who made it possible.

I am still processing the whole experience and feel very small in the face of the enormity and fragility of life and death.

Giving away your kidney is not for everyone. Some people literally cannot do it because of personal or family medical history. But as one person told me just before I left for New York, "Lori, I may not give away my kidney, but because of what you are doing, I will now be more of a giver."

Thank God I am back on my feet and planning to drive carpool tomorrow, easing back into my life. I speak to my Kidney Sister almost every day, and she is doing great. The marker for kidney patients is their creatinine level. If you are a 10, you must be on dialysis. Going into the surgery she was a nine. 24 hours after the transplant, she was a two. The day she left the hospital she was a 1.6. God made our bodies wondrous. It is difficult for me, and for her, to see people eating garbage or smoking. How could we possibly abuse a body that is so miraculous and precious?

Human beings made a huge dialysis machine to filter out the impurities that our kidneys cannot. Yet it can only do 15% of what a four-ounce kidney that God made can do.

Take pleasure in your life. But take care of the life that you have. And please do what you can to help others do the same.

If you're interested in becoming a kidney donor, you can contact Chaya Lipschutz who matched me at kidneymitzvah@aol.com. Or contact Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz, who runs "Renewal." He matches people all over the world, and helps facilitate the transplant in every way -- providing funds to fly people, housing, support in the home of the donor and the recipient. He currently has 40 Jewish people on his list, both children and adults, desperately waiting for a match.

Please go to www.life-renewal.org and help support this lifesaving work. Even if you cannot donate a kidney, your generosity can help save lives.

About the Author

Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio. She is the Founding Director of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings thousands of women to Israel each year from 18 different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage (www.jwrp.org). She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington, D.C. area with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik, and is the busy mother of five children, ages 25 to 15.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 102

(100)
Ann Canada,
July 20, 2015 6:16 PM

Dear Lori, I loved you before...I love you even more now. Please pray for a young boy of 14 named David who awaits his "kidney angel" to step forward and help save his life. B'H sweet Sisters. This is love in action.

(99)
Judith Abrahams,
June 1, 2015 9:51 AM

Kidney donation in Israel - contact MATNAT CHAIM

Anyone in Israel who wants to donate a kidney should contact the non-profit organization MATNAT CHAIM run by Rabbi Yeshayahu Heber Tel 02-5000755 . See also our website - just google MATNAT CHAIM. We have facilitated over 200 living kidney donations since 2008 and are under the guidance of Rabbonim and top doctors.. Monetary donations also welcome via our website.

(98)
Anonymous,
June 1, 2015 6:09 AM

I am in total awe

I am in total awe of your goodness and commitment to your beliefs. What an inspiration. May the god Lord bless you and keep you and your family healthy.

(97)
Anonymous,
June 1, 2015 2:24 AM

Heroic, with a concern

I know a kidney donor and honor both you and him. In his case, and the case of most altruistic donors, there is no attempt to restrict their donation to people of the same ethnic or religious group.

(96)
Anonymous,
May 31, 2015 7:29 PM

Dear Lori,Thank you for your lovely and informative article! I hope many will be made aware of the terrific need and consider becoming a donor. I had the opportunity to donate to my cousin seven years ago (she's doing well today!). Thank you for refreshig in my heart the wonder, awe and gratitude to G_d for being able to be included in such a miracle. G_d is so good and so loving and awesome!

(95)
Jodi sternberg,
January 14, 2013 10:26 PM

Every time I read or listen to one of your lectures, I feel uplifted! You are an amazing person Lori!

(94)
Shawanga,
March 15, 2012 1:33 AM

Beginning The Journey

Hey Lori, I found this article just by doing research. I have begun testing for to be a donor for my sister-in-law. I read your story and much of it sounds so familiar. I come from a family of 7 and two of my sisters was diagnosed with sickle cell. My oldest sister who also had AML Lukemia needed a bone marrow transplant. The options were me and my little brother, at that time I was around 9. My mother and the doctors chose my brother stating because he was a male and stronger. I was so devasted. My oldest sister and I are so close and I wanted to be the one to donate to have an extra shared bond. Fast forwarding to now, I understand what God was doing. My sister-in-law suffered with this disease since the age 11. She is now 32 and this will be her 4th transplant. My mother-in-law was her first, her sister was her second and my husband was her third. Her kidney life is approximateley 4-5 years. The doctors suggested she step out of the family for donors because the kidneys coming from the family maybe setting up antibodies. I am also a social worker and a person that has lived my entire life helping people. I believe and feel this is just another way of me reaching out helping someone, family at that. Other people seem to view it as "I cant believe you considered that" or "Wow you are a blessing". But to me its just me being a blessing to someone I love. Im excited, anxious and nervous at the same time, however I stay prayed up and asking God through this entire process that I am a match. My blood type is O so Im praying that with that I have a highter chance at being her donor. I am a mother of for and believe that my life is happy and blessed and I should share that with others. Thank you for sharing. Reading your story just assured me even more that this is one of the best things I could ever do. Be blessed.

(93)
Julie,
January 17, 2012 9:19 PM

Thanks for sharing your story. I am considering donating a kidney, after losing my Dad to kidney cancer in Sept. Your story is encouraging.

(92)
Elizabeth Jones,
August 30, 2011 4:48 PM

My 44 year old son is in desperate need of a kidney transplant and soon. He has an inherited kidney disease and has been on dialysis for the second time for the past 3 years. His fistulas have all clotted with blood and they implanted an artifisal gr

The story I just read about the person who donated one of her kidneys to a stranger was great. I am hoping that this will happen to my son, Scott.

Chaya Lipschutz,
December 4, 2011 3:31 AM

Elizabeth - sorry about your son!

Dear Elizabeth,
Hi! Sorry to hear about your son needing a kidney. Just saw your posting tonight. I don't know if I can help, but if he still needs a kidney, please feel free to contact me at KidneyMitzvah@aol.com.

habtamu abera,
May 31, 2015 7:47 PM

any one who need organ donation i am here for you with little favor underline that the favor is not money.

(91)
Dean,
June 2, 2011 3:31 PM

Want to Save LIFE by Donating My Kidney For Free

I’m 30 years Male, I’m Offering to help or Save Life by Donating My Kidney Free. I’m Healthy; I have No Medical History, Non Allergic to Medicines, Non Alcoholic and Non Diabetic, none smoker. Blood group O
Contact me: sd.erhabor@yahoo.com

(90)
Joseph Kantrowitz,
May 31, 2011 2:15 AM

curiosity question

Lori,
I had the opportunity to hear you speak and tell this story this past weekend at "One Shabbat" in Stamford, CT. Needless to say, I was moved, blown away, inspired, and awestruck all at the same time. But curiosly, after hearing you, the question that ran through my mind was "Would you have donated your kidney to someone if you knew they weren't Jewish?" Thanks again for your amazing story and words and a slewful of wonderful seminars......

(89)
Gary Lloyd Gottlieb,
January 4, 2011 2:32 AM

Yasher Koach, Lori

I read about kidneymitzvah.com in the OU magazine and when I went to the website read your very moving article about your experience donating a kidney. It was very brave what you did. Yasher Koach. And best wishes to Rabbi Palatnik and your family. You are all missed in Toronto.
Gary Lloyd Gottlieb

(88)
Marci Rapp,
November 3, 2010 3:13 PM

Kidney donation

I am in the process of being testing for suitability for donating my kidney, to an unknown mother-of-9 in Israel.
I am printing out your letter to give me the chizuk I need to continue and I hope I am a match.
I liked that you said that you were not sure why you wanted to do it - I also feel that way, I just feel it's an "easy" mitzvah to do compared to ongoing volunteering for an organization, or even davening.
My sons initially were against it i.e. "what do you need to put yourself under more stress" or " you have so many pains already, why do you need more" and the usually "what if you need your kidneys".
My husband is concerned about me not being able to work in our new business selling modest swimwear (a little plug here www.marseamodest.com).
My teenaged daughter, who also wanted us to make aliya, wants me to do this, so I have 1 on my side.
I'm sure the others will join in their support after they read your article. Thank you.

(87)
Gayle S. Carus,
January 18, 2010 4:56 AM

My husband Marvin recently started dialysis. He is waiting for a donor. His blood type is O and can accept O or O-. I've been posting our plea on as many sites that I can find. Please if you can or know someone call the transplant coordinator at Piedmont Hosp. Cheryl Manley @404-605-2252 . Thank you for doing this great Mitzvah.
Gayle & Marvin

(86)
miriam,
January 10, 2010 4:01 AM

thanks for real info on kidney and bone marrow transplants

really appreciate your detailing your gift. i am an mother
with a young child and have a blood disease that has
only pallitive care. only possible cure is a bone marrow
transplant in the future. "mini transplants" are possible.
Thanks for sharing your story. from a patient's viewpoint
i am terrified and helpless. your story gives me a better understanding of the process. May you be well, Baruch Hashem.

(85)
Jacob silberstein,
November 5, 2009 6:25 PM

I donated a kidney on the pest june for another jew, whom i didn't knew. I red the first helf of your story, it has of simslarity's to my owen. However, may g-od bless you, in the marit of this big mitve, that you have a happy life together with oyur famaly, amain.

(84)
Chaya Lipscnutz,,
August 10, 2009 12:53 AM

I am Lori's Kidney Matchmaker. - Message ot PJ

PJ -
Hi! How wonderful you are going to be donating a kidney to your co-worker! G-d bless you!
I donated a kidney almost 4 years ago. I am also in touch with others who have donated their kidneys years ago.
Feel free to contact me at KidneyMitzvah@aol.com.
Also - my website is KidneyMitzvah.com.
Take care!
All the best,
Chaya

(83)
PJ,
August 4, 2009 2:32 AM

I am donating my kidney

I have been approved to donate my kidney to a coworker...I am a white female, he is black. We are so excited...I am trying to correspond to donors and see how they are years after their surgery...any suggestions?

(82)
ash,
July 3, 2009 6:30 AM

kidney

thats very nice of you , not much people are like you.If there is someone willing to give a kidney to the blood group AB a full reciever then please right to my email addresss ashy-d_786@hotmail.com because my mother has both kindey failure and im only 14 with 2 smaller sisters and were really desperate for one

(81)
fern,
February 20, 2009 8:46 PM

want to give transplant (6 way)

you are in inspiration to us everone.
my husband is in need of another transplant after 12 years (from his sister).
although i am not a match, we've been working on a 6- way transplant from ucla for a while. we only hope that we can find a match for him. let G-d help find the way. what a mitzvah you have done to all.

(80)
Ja'akov Markus NL,
November 3, 2008 3:47 PM

Your video messages are so wise and straight from your warm heart but now I known fore sure your are an angel from heaven. Kol hakavot!

(79)
PAULINE,
November 2, 2008 10:28 AM

you are an amazing kind woman. May Hashem bless you and your family

(78)
hassan,
April 16, 2008 1:56 PM

Seeking An Important information

Dear sir/madam, My aunt has both her kidneys failed she is getting dialysis done and have been told that she would need to get a new kidney if not both. but unfortunately, we cannot find one for her in Pakisatan. is there a way we can get a transpalnt for her from anywhere and we are willing to pay any cost. please e-mail me me on hassan110_786@hotmail.com and let me know your suggestions.

(77)
Pearl Adler Saban,
February 23, 2008 10:21 PM

An Eshet Chayil in Every Way

Lori,

Through your many years' journey of becoming frum, you've helped save many Jewish neshamas to make them whole.

Through this wonderful selfless act, you've saved a life. As the Talmud says, "He who saves one life... it is as if he saves an entire universe."

May you and the Palatnik family continue to be blessed and through your fulfilling of mitzvot help others be blessed, as well.

(76)
Anonymous,
February 16, 2008 5:40 PM

You are wonderful

(75)
nechama katz,
February 12, 2008 11:00 AM

Lori I am so jealous!

Lori, I wanted so badly to do what you did. I was in contact with Chaya and very excited about the prospet. I almost had my husband convinced (but I was going full steam ahead) My family all thought I was crazy, but they are used to that. I'm also somewahat stubborn (sometimes) in what I believe in. I needed to loose a bit of weight which I did. however down the line I found out that since I take medicine for hypertension i was out. YOU can imange how diasppointed I was. so yasah koach, and I'm sure your artical will promote lots of participation. regards Nechamaa

(74)
Sheila,
February 11, 2008 7:01 AM

Yosher Koach

Dear Lori,About 8 years ago, you and your family kindly welcomed my children and I at your home in Toronto for Shabbes when we attended the bar mitzvah of my cousin's son. We were very impressed by your warmth and hospitality. I just wanted to let you know that I think you are truly a remarkable and inspirational woman and I am proud to have met you. Sheila

Lori & I both donated our kidney at Montefiore Medical Center. I am in touch with several other kidney donors who donated a kidney at Montefiore as well

All of us were very happy with hospital and staff on the kidney transplant team. They were really wonderful, particularly Dr. Stuart Greenstein, Kidney Transplant Coordinator & Pat McDonough, kidney transplant coordinator. I wish to publicly thank them both and they deserve a round of applause. Let's hear it!

Everyone I know of who had a kidney transplant done by Montefiore were also very happy with the results.

I recently referred someone in need of a kidney to Montefiore Medical Center. He called Dr. Greenstein and couldn't get over that Dr. Greenstein called him back twice in one day. He told me that he has tried getting in touch with other doctors and he usually doesn't get a call back for days. He was so extremely impressed with Dr. Greenstein, his caring, warmth, kindness and other great middos (character traits) that is his trademark!

I also want to take this opportunity to congratulate Barbara Lindower, on her new job as kidney transplant coordinator at Montefiore. What a great addition to the kidney transplant team! I knew Barbara from her previous job as kidney transplant coordinator at another hospital and she was a pleasure to deal with. She is a great asset to the team. Thanks Montefiore for hiring her!

My thanks in general to the staff at Monefiore for taking great care of me, Lori and other kidney donors, who were privileged to have their kidney donation done at Montefiore - one of the top hospitals in this field!

(72)
Ahuva,
February 8, 2008 8:21 AM

You are a gift from above!

My mother has just had kidney cancer surgegy and I have learned what a horrible illness this is. Luckily she was able to get surgery. I met many people in the hospital who would have never had a chance if someone did not donate a kiney to them. I am also "O" blood type and for my mom would be willing to give up a kidney. May you and your family be blessed now and always!

(71)
ramon franco,
February 8, 2008 7:43 AM

mom for dad

hi ,lori ,your case remembered my parents when my father was doing dialysis,and he needs a kidney at that moment ,my mother gave him one ,and was the first case in uruguay that a wife gave one to her husband ,that was 14 years ago and still working,thanks G-D

(70)
Lori's Kidney Recipient,
February 7, 2008 7:55 PM

To: Lori From: Your Kidney Sister!

Dear Kidney Sister,

I went from being an end stage kidney failure patient to being a healthy, active wife and mother I can barely remember the terrifying feeling of not knowing what the near future would bring. Lori, you traveled away from home and underwent this procedure without even knowing who I am! To say that you were getting more out of being a donor than I was as a recipient is just testament to who you are! Not only did I receive a new life but I received a soul sister in the process!May you and your family share only the best of health and abundant simchot!I love you!Me

(69)
Anonymous,
February 7, 2008 7:32 PM

So many beautiful comments

You are truly blessed

(68)
Dovid,
February 7, 2008 1:37 PM

This was a great article. I donated my kidney to a complete stranger as well. The story is too long to post, but i can say B"H I acted on this great mitzva. I too did my donation through Montifure Hospital, and Dr. Greeinstein and Pat are wonderful people. I do not think this is for everyone. The surgery recovery was not easy at all. If you are thinking to donate a kidney, speak with as many donors as possiable. No regret Here!!

(67)
Jennifer Zimmer,
February 7, 2008 12:58 PM

Amazing Story

My husband received a kidney transplant, thanks to a stranger. Lori, you set an incredible example and I'm happy to hear your rabbi was supportive from Day One. Jews are sadly mistaken when they say donation is against Jewish law. Hence, Jews are willing to take organs, but not always willing to give. I encourage everyone to check out the Halachic Organ Donor Society (www.hods.org), My husband's life was saved by a living righteous gentile and we thank Hashem every day for her. Perhaps not everyone can muster hers or Lori's brand of courage, but everyone can sign a cadaveric organ donor card. How can we deny in death what others are willing to give while very much alive?

(66)
Mordy Husarsky,
February 7, 2008 11:48 AM

Excellent work

I too donated a kidney at Montefiore. Much of my experience was similar to Lori's except that I knew my recepient. I am an avid athlete and was concerned about long term effects and ultimately I am in better shape today than before my donation. The team at Montefiore is awesome and I feel blessed to have had the opportunity. I believe that anybody who is healthy should consider testing and donating. I met Chaya subsequent to my donation (I actually did mine almost a year before she did) and the work she does is great.I am also available to talk with potential donors about my experience and help them feel comfortable with their decission. Feel free to contact Cahya Lifshitz for my contact information.

(65)
Avi R,
February 7, 2008 1:04 AM

Me too!

I live in tzfat, and I am currently in NYc enrolled in the Kidney donor program in Montefure. I am waiting for a kidney, and all I can say is that the article is 100% correct. Rabbi Steinmetz, Ms. Lfshitz, and Dr. Greenstein are all excellent human beings who bring praise to al of Klal Yisrael through their actions. Kol Hakavod Lori!

(64)
Jody,
February 6, 2008 10:33 PM

Gratitude

You will never know how wonderful your donation is. I have had 2 kidney transplants from 2 people that I love dearly and there are not enough words to tell them how grateful I am. You have given such a selfless to people who will never forget. You have given them a life and you are the reason they are living today. You are wonderful people!

(63)
art kutzer,
February 6, 2008 8:26 PM

Lori gave one kidney but by her article she causes many donations

I read this article after spending several hours studying this weeks parsha and considering the issue of "giving". I also recently attended a torah class on the question of anonymous giving. The point of the discussion was that although one should not give just to impress others, giving publicly is important where it can inspire others to give more. I suggest that this article may be a bigger mitzva than donating your one kidney because it will cause numerous others to give more themselves.

(62)
Tova,
February 6, 2008 8:53 AM

Wow!

Lori, you are truly inspiring!

(61)
Yael Mermelstein,
February 6, 2008 4:23 AM

I haven't posted a comment yet as I felt my words would be redundant as so much has already been said. Yes, you are incredible for doing this, but above and beyond that, this article has the power to literally save lives by forcing all of us to consider something that we may not have thought of previously.Between last week's lead article which compels us to invest spiritually in saving a life, and this week's lead article which compels us to invest physically in saving a life, I think that Aish.com has been taken to a whole new level of giving. Thank you.

(60)
lynn finson,
February 5, 2008 1:38 PM

Lori and Mishlei

Chacham Lev Yikach Mitzvot. There are many mitzvot out there but you chose one that is deeply valuable, one that will probably impact for generations to come. As Chessed is the axis of our world, thank you for keeping it spinning. Thank you for being a role model for so many.

Please join us - and help save a life! Your help is greatly needed! Your questions will be gladly answered! No obligation! (917) 627-8336, KidneyMitzvah@aol.com

"Just think, people have no problem having only one kidney â€“ so we have to ask, why did Hashem give us two kidneys? Perhaps it is so you would have an extra one to donate and save a life!" - Dr. Stuart Greenstein, Shomer Shabbos Kidney Transplant Surgeon, Montefiore Medical Center

1. Faigy M. of Boro Park â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger and had a baby 2 years later! Her brother â€“in-law and aunt also donated their kidneys to strangers!2. Avrohom P.of Boro Park - Faigy's brother â€“in-law, donated a kidney to a stranger.3. Feigy's aunt of Boro Park â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger.4.Sury Malky S. of Boro Park â€“ donated a kidney to her sister. Sury Malky had a baby 3 years after donating a kidney â€“and her sister also had a baby 3 years later after receiving her new kidney!5. Moshe M. of Williamsburg - donated a kidney to a stranger when his wife was expecting their 9th child. His wife recently had her 10th.6. David K. of Boro Park - donated a kidney to a stranger7. Chaim B. of Boro Park â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger8. David W. of Monsey â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger9. Bassy G. of Montreal â€“ donated a kidney to her husband10. Shaul G.of Boro Park (originally of South Africa), donated a kidney to a co-worker11. Steven M. of Long Island, donated a kidney to a stranger12. Baila K. of Boro Park â€“ donated a kidney to her sister13. James L. of Riverdale â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger14. Sarah R. of Lakewood â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger15. Avi M. of Williamsburg,member of Hatzalah - donated a kidney to a stranger16. Mordechai H. of Flatbush, donated a kidney to his father-in-law17. Shmuel W.of Lakewood, donated a kidney to a stranger18. My brother â€“ Yosef Lipschutz who donated a kidney to a stranger 19. Baila T of Boro Park â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger 20. Elishva R of Baltimore â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger21. Sheldon T. (not sure from where) â€“ donated a kidney to his wife.22. Chavie K.of Israel â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger23. Larry S. of New Jersey â€“ donated a kidney to a stranger

You too can join us and give the gift of life!

(58)
Chaya Lipschutz,
February 5, 2008 12:05 PM

From Lori's Kidney Matchmaker

Lori - you are the greatest! Hashem blessed me - and the person you donated a kidney to - the day you came into our lives! I was so touched by your extraordinary middos, intelligence and feelings for all of Klal Yisroel! Your recipient is like a newborn, feels better than ever. You saved the life of a special person! You made her so happy! She will be eternally grateful. She feels better than ever, Boruch Hashem! Being a kidney donor myself - I am sure you would agree that this was one of the greatest - if not the greatest experience of our lives! It's too bad we can't donate another kidney! However, Hashem has his reasons - and maybe he created us this way â€“ so we should give a chance to others to do this mitzvah!

Please â€“ anyone out there who would like more information on kidney donation â€“ I would be more than happy to provide you more information and interesting articles and video on the topic. By the way, I am also in touch with other kidney donors many of whom also donated a kidney to a stranger and would also be happy to talk about their great experience as well. All of us feel Boruch Hashem great. None of us have any regrets. And some of us wish we could do it again!

I have many people on my list of people who are in desperate need of a kidney. Please don't hesitate to contact me, Chaya Lipschutz (917) 627-8336 or KidneyMitzvah@aol.com.

Thanks so much for taking time to read my posting! Help save another life!

(57)
graham,
February 5, 2008 8:19 AM

G-d blessyou!

i have kidney failure, i know ho much your donation means to to the recipient. G-d bless you. ipray for you.

(56)
Sara Yoheved Rigler,
February 5, 2008 6:41 AM

Dear Lori,Like everyone else who hears about or reads about your kidney donation, I am incredibly inspired by you. Since two of my friends here in Jerusalem are presently being tested to donate a kidney, and since I also try to "keep up with the tzidkoniot in the neighborhood," I thought of donating my kidney. But because I had cancer four and a half years ago, they won't take my kidney, even though I am perfectly clean. So I envy you the tremendous mitzvah you did. One has to have great merit to be able to do a great mitzvah. May you have so much energy and accomplish so much with your one-kidney body that you put the rest of us to shame. You already do.With admiration,Sara Yoheved Rigler

(55)
Dovid Lefkowitz,
February 4, 2008 10:54 PM

Unbelievable!

As your Kidney Sister put it, there are no words.

(54)
Tamar Leah,
February 4, 2008 6:32 PM

Your gift is one of the highest forms of tzedaka

Your actions are inspiring on so many levels, there ARE no words. Here in Los Angeles the Red Cross has a HerO blood donation program that I'm proud to participate in, being an "O" like you. For those who can't commit a kidney, blood donation is a uniquely human gift to give to other children of Hashem.

(53)
Roberta Seltzer,
February 4, 2008 6:04 PM

I was inspired to donate blood today!

Hi Lori,Your article is amazing and so are you. I have been donating blood for many years and lately I have been putting it off for one reason or another. After reading your article, I quickly got in my car and headed for my local blood center. I figured, if you could give a kidney, the least I can do is give some blood. Thanks,

Roberta

(52)
Anonymous,
February 4, 2008 5:39 PM

Kidney Donor

Thank you for writing this. I also came into contact with Chaya Lupschutz and am currently in process of becoming a donÃ¸r. My husband. like yours, is hesitant. Your article is reinforcing. Tizki l'mitzvot.

(51)
Anonymous,
February 4, 2008 4:33 PM

New Respect

Lori, I have a new respect for you, but still can't understand why did it, and why you wrote about it. You have given someone a new life, but at a very great cost. May Hashem Bless you with good health always and the ability to insprire others to do the right thing. Yasher koach!

(50)
Anonymous,
February 4, 2008 3:30 PM

You are an inspiration!

Lori, I just received AISH by e-mail and found your story. First, I want to say that I am so inspired by your kindness and incredible generosity, and I hope that others who read your story are too. Ironically, my husband and our 18 year old daughter were both diagnosed with PKD (the same disease as your kidney sister had) in the past few months. There is no way to convey to you how much hope it gives me to read your story and to know that there are people like you out there. May your life be filled with health and nachas always!

(49)
sarah,
February 4, 2008 3:15 PM

thank you

for your inspiration. i am in awe. hope to have the privilege of hearing you speak someday, iy"H. may you and your family continue to be blessed with only revealed good, and may you continue to be an inspiration to help us all work toward the ultimate geulah.

(48)
Rimnitzer Rebbetzin,
February 4, 2008 2:47 PM

Blessed is your portion in both worlds!!!

Lori dear, you are not "LORI ALMOST LIVE" you are "LORI MORE ALIVE" than most people. It seems that your soul has an eternal memory. you sure know your priorities.Not only have you passed your test you have actually chosen it. Hashem must be really taken with you and love you intensely as you are a sure testimony to HIS greatness. May HE shower you with never ending blessings. I will sign off from your soul sister who loves you, because you sure touched my soul

(47)
Evelyne Keslassy,
February 4, 2008 11:25 AM

Setting a precedence

Hi Lori! I am grateful that you shared with us your choice to do this supreme act of kindness. So many of us grapple with much smaller opportunities to do kindnesses for one another and yet you were able to do something so heroic, requiring such tremendous courage and sacrifice. What struck me is that you looked for your opportunity - you went after it, determined, almost as though keeping two kidneys was greedy and that better a Jewish sister who is dying should benefit from Hashem's gift to you. Many people won't even share their gifts from God, let alone give them away! This is true emulation of Hashem and for that tenacity you accomplished greatness. Thank you for raising the bar for the rest of us, so that at least when much smaller opportunities come our way to help one another, we should remember your choice and do it happily and willingly. Klal Israel needs to know about these paradigm acts in order to shake us up and move us not only to really feel each other's pain, but also to seek where the pain is and fix it - even if the price is higher than we're comfortable with. You've taught your children the ultimate lesson: that Hashem needs our chessed to be His agents of chessed in this world.

(46)
Leonie Myers South Africa,
February 4, 2008 10:20 AM

You made my day!

Lori I always read your articles on Aish.com and I have the consecration of my Darling husband Leib ben Josef on 10 Feb. You have INSPIRED me and given me STRENGTH to cope! How blessed we all are to be able to learn from you. Hashem's richest blessings to you and your loved ones. THANK YOU!

(45)
ROBERT ROSEN,
February 4, 2008 9:44 AM

Safety of giving.

When I was 20 years old, I had a diseased kidney removed. I am now 86 years old with very good kidney function. Many people are afraid of giving a kidney because the remaining kidney may go bad, but one can live many years with one kidney.

(44)
Bina Ester Botwinik,
February 4, 2008 9:13 AM

Blown away

Lori,

I've been many times inspired by your mind-opening lectures and increditable hospitality, but your act of giving a kidney to a stranger has really blown me away. I've been thinking/researching about organ donation (more after death than alive, however). I don't know where your inspiration will take me this time, but I can tell you with certainly that I'm deeply moved and affected. Yasher koakh to you, Rabbi Palatnik, and your dear family. May Hash-m grant you all longevity with good health and much meaningful happiness.

(43)
Shira Mathias,
February 4, 2008 8:58 AM

your article is another gift

I knew what you had done, but your article takes the action and makes it much more real. Thank you for writing and for being an example of someone who is always striving to be greater. May you and your family always merit to be a kiddush Hashem.

(42)
Miriam,
February 4, 2008 4:11 AM

Ouch! (I just looked in the mirror)

I have a long history of self-neglect andobuse when it comes to my physical health. Becoming Torah-observant and attending a 12-step program were 2 moves in the right direction. Yet, being a mother-of-many, and preparing "Jewish" Shabbat and holiday meals has kept the stress level up, and I often "fail". Shauring your story, Lori, has been a painful look in the mirror. You are committed to others in a way I have not found strength to be committed to myself. I stared exercising 3 months ago. I am now hopeful that with the 'chizuck' from your actions, I will succeed in my "Bayn adam l'atzmo" challange, and be zochah to move in your direction. I humbly admit, I am not on your level. May you and your family be granted long,healthy lives of self-actualization andbezochim to experience "Yemot HaMoshiach", which Iamcertain you have brought one step closer!

(41)
Laurie,
February 3, 2008 10:56 PM

there are no words

like your kidney sister said, "there are no words" big enough to describe your courage and kindness. In the zechus of your mitzvah, may you and your family always have bracha and gezunt-and you and KS should have a refuah sheleima

(40)
shellie grafstein,
February 3, 2008 10:29 PM

incredibly inspiring

Lori, you have dedicated your life to saving Jewish nashamas, but it is incredibly to think you have saved a body too. You are beyond inspiring - a truly Holy Woman. May G-d bless you and yours.

(39)
Rachel J.,
February 3, 2008 10:28 PM

Amazing!!!!

It takes a whole lot of courage to do what you did. I am truly amazed by your act of chesed. Unbelievable!!!

(38)
dani'el kannan,
February 3, 2008 8:35 PM

Dear Lori,

you have planted a seed in my heart, that i too one day, would consider donating my kidney..... may GOD bLESS selfless givers like you

(37)
Anonymous,
February 3, 2008 8:25 PM

everyone deserves a kidney

as someone whose father received a kidney transplant, I know how marvelous it could be. i would encourage people to donate outside the frum community as well. any life is valuable, even if someone has no children.

(36)
Pamela Peck,
February 3, 2008 8:09 PM

a woman of valor

Dear Lori,It's been eleven yrs since my family spent shabbat with you in Toronto. We were strangers who were looking for a place to enjoy Shabbat while on vacation. We had been taking classes at Aish, and a mutual friend made the introduction.We had a wonderful,deliscious, and inspiring Shabbat, and then babysat for our young daughter on Motzi Shabbas so my husband and I could enjoy a night out.You even gave me a copy of your book on Shabbat observance as a gift. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by your generosity and grace. Inspired by you, and other amazing Aish women, I've invited many people to my home for a Shabbat meal. I don't know if I would ever be brave enough to give a kidney, but I'm certainly inspired by your story, and will do an extra mitzvah with you in mind. Yasher koach. Pamela

(35)
nomi gorelick,
February 3, 2008 7:52 PM

I know how BIG your gift of life is !

Lori, your article brought back memories of the most awsome day in my life: the day my 22 yr old daughter gave a kidney to my husband, her father! I know oh-so-well what you did for your "sister"!You gave her new life ! From now on, everytime SHE does a Mizwah, YOU have a part in it;for every moment that SHEgoes on living HER life, YOU are getting an immense S'char that will never end, LEOLAM VAED. This is what you did, Lori; and you did it for an unknown person.You are a QUEEN of CHESED ! May Hashem bentsch you and your family with all His Brachos !

(34)
Anonymous,
February 3, 2008 7:24 PM

A beautiful act of co-creation

Dear Lori,I am amazed with your courage and initiative. We never know what and how God calls us for. May your mission blossom and you be blessed with your family and your Sister for many years to come. Shalom!

(33)
Gavin-Chaim,
February 3, 2008 7:14 PM

Lori shows us how to be truely alive

Dear Lori-I had a look at the the Hebrew word for kidney and it is spelt -kuf,lamed,yud,yud,heh.If you rearrange the letters you get -Kalla Hashem.You truely are an Eiyshet Chayil-ad me'ah ve'esrim

(32)
frimette,
February 3, 2008 5:30 PM

sharing is caring....

wow! i just finished reading your heartwarming, touching, and inspiring article. it penetrated my soul - because i too, donated my kidney to my father, about 4 years ago, as a single girl. i consider myself privileged for having had the zchus to save his life! i can still recall the moment i was being led into the o.r. and i turned around to my father who was also waiting to be admitted, with a last parting glance and whispered to him, "don't let me down, tatty...it just has to work - my kidney won't be rejected..." and the rest is history.my father is a new person now, healthy, vibrant,energetic, and 20 years younger! all i can say is that i am HUMBLED that the miracle happened through me! it was the most meaningful month of my life and until today, i am THANKFUL to be ALIVE and ALIVE to be THANKFUL!!!with warmest wishes for a full recovery and CONGRATULATIONS,a fellow donor!!

p.s. we also used dr. greenstein in montefiore.... it's a 'piece of cake', isn't it?

(31)
Anonymous,
February 3, 2008 5:20 PM

wow

what an inspiration! may Hashem bless you to always have the koach, the means and ability to give and do acts of kindness, l'chayil l'chayil!!

I gave one on my kidneys to a total stranger. It was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever done. I would encourage any one who is able to donate to do so. The only regret that I have is that I was born with two kidneys and not fifty. I would gladly donate again and again. Any questions? You can contact me at kidneygiver@aol.com Lets talk!!

(28)
Devorah,
February 3, 2008 3:31 PM

I am in AWE!!!

Lori!!! You are truly an unbelivable person. This is one of the most inspiring articlies I've ever read! May Hashem shower Bracha on you and your family! Thank you for sharing such meaning!

(27)
Chana Heller,
February 3, 2008 2:44 PM

amazing story

What an emotional read that was. Wow! Kol a cavod to you!

(26)
Sarah,
February 3, 2008 2:27 PM

Wow!

There are no words! What you gave is much, much more then one kidney. You gave others the desire to give. Thank you and may H-shem teach all of us to give so unconditionally!

(25)
Anonymous,
February 3, 2008 1:46 PM

Inspirationsal

Dear Rebbetizen,My wife and I read your piece with wonder and awe. It is inspiring on so many levels. Your chesed is a reminder that even if we lack the courage to follow your example, we can appreciate how impotant it is to act rather than simply philosphize. Torah is a perscription for life it demands of us action. Deeds speak louder than words and your deed is filled with courage and eloquence. In the merit of this you and your loved ones should live out long and healthy and fulfilled lives.

(24)
Rochel (Supnick) Faust,
February 3, 2008 1:36 PM

Holy woman

Lori- I have watched your "career" in Torah education and outreach for years, and have admired your wisdom,insight,and inspiration through use of self. As a therapist,I know this is how to reach people. But donating your kidney is the ultimate "use of self", and displays yet again your unselfish commitment to elevating and sustaining people not only spiritually but physically. You are truly a "Holy Woman" of our generation. May HaShem bring you a speedy refuah and many more opportunities to inspire all of us.

(23)
Tobi Kern,
February 3, 2008 1:26 PM

special person

It certainly takes a special person to perform this act for a total stranger.Kol Hakavod! I hope and pray you and your family are duly rewarded for yourbountiful generoity.

(22)
Stuart Avrahan Minsky,
February 3, 2008 12:20 PM

i wish i could

Dear Lori, i've been a diabetec for over 37 yrs,sincae a child..I am one of those who can't donate anything..I do visit alot of people in the hospital.. A Hindu friend of mine was in a coma but i 1-2 times a week I went to talk to him,to pray for him(his family knew of our different beliefs) except for 2 family members i was the only one who went..I pray to our G-d for his recovery.i told him when he gets out we're going to Trinada(where he was from)i'd pray,joke, laugh,talk just as if he were alive..Half his family was Hindu the other half Christian,when Chubby(nickname)passed i was asked to do the ceramony.3 Faiths coming together for 1 person!! it was the saddest honor ever given to me..and as I did the ceramony with my tears flowing,Hinsus'believe in cremation and i was asked to do a small ceramony at the crematorum..i wrapped one of my Tallits around him left my oil in his pocket.and cried. afterwards the family tried to give me money,but Chubby was a friend,i couldn't take money..about 3 weeks later i was short of money(i'm on disability)i came home and there was an envelope taped to my door with no card, no letter, just$100.00 in there.i knew who it was from,and at that exact time it became a blessing to me!! i will continue to go to the hospitals when called and have been even for people who don't know me at the families request! beihg ill myself i'm able to connect to other ill people!! MAY G-D BLESS YOU & YOUR FAMILY FOR THE BLESSING YOU SO UNSELFISHLY GAVE!!Amen

(21)
Miriam Adahan,
February 3, 2008 11:51 AM

This was SO inspiring!

I was awed and inspired! G-d bless you!

(20)
Gayle Kall,
February 3, 2008 11:19 AM

Lori, it's me, Gayle!

You are as I said a very special soul! You have inspired me so many times but this took the cake! I know of the woman you refered to in this article , the one from New York! I had also thought of doing this but she explained to me that unfortunately because of my medical problems I was not able to donate at all! But, you are remarkable!I repeat please tell your husband how lucky he is to have you as his wife and guiding force! You make him as strong as he makes you! I said a prayer in your behalf and if you are in New York I hope we meet!Love the work you do! Keep it up! Gayle

(19)
Yisroel Pollack,
February 3, 2008 10:51 AM

Toda Raba

Thank you, Mrs. Palatnik tch"y.

(18)
Anonymous,
February 3, 2008 10:48 AM

Hashem should bless you with all of His brachots!

The tears are streaming down my face as I read your article. I am awaiting a transplant and have experienced the potential donor who has not passed the medical procedures more than once. Indeed, each time is a heart break. But I know that everything is in the Hands of Hashem and that when the right shaliach comes as the correct match, it will be in the right time and place. I need to go through the roller coaster for me to become a stronger person spiritually. I daven that IYH my match will come in the right time.

(17)
Oscar Carillo,
February 3, 2008 10:46 AM

You walk the Torah!

Lori, I have been following all your inspirational video clips and have been blessed by it. This time, you showed us how to put soul and life into it. You showed us how to walk the mitzvot!

(16)
Bev Benia,
February 3, 2008 10:42 AM

Having known you for so many years, I am not surprised by the courage you have shown.You have always been an inspiration to many of us;through your words and now your actions you have shown us how to conduct ourselves and live life to the fullest.May you, your kidney sister, and R'Noah enjoy a complete Refuah.

(15)
Rachel,
February 3, 2008 10:27 AM

The Great Mitzvah

Wow! I just read this wonderful story upon coming home from platelet donation - a gift that I give once a month. I think there is a special place in Gan Eden for the wonderful people who donate organs, bone marrow, blood, and platelets. But to undergo surgery and give a kidney is a Congressional Medal of Honor gift! Wow! I truly believe that Hashem judges us according to how we treat people who have no claim upon us other than the love in our hearts.

Lori, may God bless you with health and strength and success in everything that you do.

(14)
Lori Larsen,
February 3, 2008 10:20 AM

Thank you for listening to the voice of Hashem...

Lori, you are amazing. Thank you for sharing such a personal story. May we all continue to learn about HaShem through your great mitzvah (mitvot).

(13)
Tamara,
February 3, 2008 10:03 AM

WOW!!

WOW!!

(12)
amy baynash,
February 3, 2008 9:56 AM

You walk the walk and talk the talk

Unbelievable. If everyone was as giving as you, the world would be a happier place.

(11)
E. M. Lefrak,
February 3, 2008 9:30 AM

Yasher Koach!

The zechus you have is so tremendous . . .

(10)
Kim Benson,
February 3, 2008 9:23 AM

This was so moving!

Whew, I just finished drying my tears. Thank you for sharing all of these details. You've answered every possible question I could have had regarding the entire kidney donation process. You are such an inspiration!

(9)
ruth housman,
February 3, 2008 8:37 AM

the gift of life

I know all mitzvot are supposed to be equal. A rabbi told me this and I pondered this for a long time. On the other hand, I do believe that what you did was a GREAT gift and so for me, some gifts, of the heart and in this case, the kidney, go right up there to the top of any chart.

With thanks for taking us through the experience. Your heart is where it should be, and also, your other kidney.

I was very moved.

(8)
Joey,
February 3, 2008 8:36 AM

Truly amazing, Lori. What a mitzvah. :-) I'd also like to point out that even if one cannot donate a kidney, there are simpler ways, like donating blood, that can also save people's lives. I hope God continues to give you and your "sister" excellent health for years to come.

(7)
Shraga S.,
February 3, 2008 8:23 AM

Tears of joy

This is the best article I've ever seen on Aish.com. And I thought you could only do video!

(6)
Yehudis Gerstein,
February 3, 2008 8:14 AM

Saving Lives

Lori, My husband waited years on dialysis for a cadaver kidney which was "like an identical twin". The transplant meant he could learn with his sons, play ball with them and give our children a sense that "everything is all right". Life is sooo precious. And the children are the ones who suffer when a parent is sick. I hope more people donate for if you save one life, it is as if you have saved the world!

(5)
PS,
February 3, 2008 8:05 AM

Gevalt!

I've been enjoying and appreciating "Almost Live" for several months- the twinkle in your eyes and soft tone makes it a pleasure to learn Torah from you. But as impressed as I was by you before, this deed is so above and beyond, absolutely amazing. You have gone from being a good teacher to a Rebbe in my eyes. I bless you to keep on doing mitzvot all your days- but even if you never did another one, your children and all your generations can be secure in the "zechut avot" they have from your having thought about doing this, let alone actually going through with it.

Nine years ago, while undergoing tests to be a bone-marrow donor, I was discovered to have a large kidney tumor. I was sad that I lost this opportunity to save someone else, but it saved my own life. A friend comforted me by saying that instead of 248 organs ("ramach") now I possessed "remez" (247). I bless you Lori that Hashem reward you by showing you the remezi m of His Torah, with excellent health, a refuah shleimah for R' Noah shlita, and all the desires of your heart (including a home in the Old City!).

(4)
Bridget,
February 3, 2008 7:52 AM

My niece gave one of her kidneys to my husband. This was his second transplant and I wanted to tell you that what you and my niece did was very courageous.

(3)
Miriam Grossman,
February 3, 2008 7:47 AM

A Woman of Valor

Lori,

You are a "Woman of Valor" and an inspiration to us all. Thanks for your devotion to the truth of Torah Judaism and for using your many talents to benefit all Jews throughout the world.

(2)
Sharon,
February 3, 2008 7:01 AM

Kol Hakavod

Lor, I have great respect for what you've done. While I'd agree with you that your future health is dependent only on G-d's will, you substantial investment of time and energy in this endeavor is worthy of praise. Not many people are willing to subject themselves to physical discomfort for anyone other than their own children, but you have really lived up to loving your neighbor as yourself. I enjoy your "almost live" videos, but this action speaks louder than just words.

I always loved the story of Jonah and the whale. Why do we read it during the afternoon service of Yom Kippur?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Let's recap the story: God tells Jonah to go to Ninveh and to prophesy that in 40 days, God will destroy the city. Instead, Jonah goes to Jaffa, boards a ship, and sails for Tarshish. A great storm arises. Frightened, Jonah goes to sleep in the ship's hold. The sailors somehow recognize that Jonah is responsible for the storm. They throw him overboard, and the sea becomes calm.

A great fish swallows Jonah. Then three days later, God commands the fish to spit Jonah back out upon dry land. God tells Jonah, "Let's try it again. Go to Ninveh and tell them in 40 days I will destroy the city."

The story is a metaphor for our struggle for clarity. Jonah is the soul. The soul is assigned to sanctify the world, and draw it close to God. But we are seduced by the world's beauty. (Jaffa in Hebrew means "beauty.") The ship is the body, the sea is the world, and the storm is life's pains and troubles. God hopes confrontation with mortality will inspire us to examine our lives. But Jonah's is the more common response - we go to sleep (have a beer, turn on the television). The sailors throw Jonah overboard - this is death. The fish that swallows Jonah is the grave. Jonah is spat back upon the land - reincarnation. And the Almighty tells us to try again. "Go sanctify the world and bring it close to God."

Each of us is born with an opportunity and a challenge. We each have unique gifts to offer the world and unique challenges to perfect ourselves. If we leave the task unfinished the first time, we get a second chance. Jonah teaches us that repentance can reverse a harsh decree. If the residents of Ninveh had the ability to correct their mistakes and do teshuva, how much more so do we have the ability to correct our former mistakes and do teshuva.

(source: "The Bible for the Clueless But Curious," by Rabbi Nachum Braverman)

In 1948, Egypt launched a large-scale offensive against the Negev region of Israel. This was part of the War of Independence, an attack by five Arab armies designed to "drive the Jews into the sea." Though the Jews were under-armed, untrained, and few in number, through ingenuity and perseverance they staved off the attacks and secured the borders. Yet the price was high -- Israel lost 6,373 of its people, a full one percent of the Jewish population of Israel at the time.

And what does teshuvah consist of? [Repentance to the degree] that the One Who knows all that is hidden will testify that he will never again repeat this sin(Maimonides, Laws of Teshuvah 2:2).

"How can this be?" ask the commentaries. "Inasmuch as man always has free choice to do good or evil, to sin or not to sin, how can God testify that a person will never repeat a particular sin? Is this not a repudiation of one's free will?"

The answer to this came to me at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, at which the speaker, a man who had been sober for twenty-one years, said, "The man I was drank. The man I was will drink again. But now I am a different man."

A sin does not occur in a vacuum. A person who is devout does not abruptly decide to eat treifah. A sin occurs when a person is in such a state that a particular act is not anathema to him.

Consequently, repentance is not complete if one merely regrets having done wrong. One must ask, "How did this sin ever come about? In what kind of a state was I that permitted me to commit this sin?"

True repentance thus consists of changing one's character to the point where, as the person is now, one can no longer even consider doing the forbidden act. Of course, the person's character may deteriorate - and if it does, he may sin again.

God does not testify that the person will never repeat the sin, but rather that his degree of repentance and correction of his character defects are such that, as long as he maintains his new status, he will not commit that sin.

Today I shall...

try to understand how I came to do those things that I regret having done, and bring myself to a state where such acts will be alien to me.

With stories and insights,
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