First things first, I'm an introvert by nature, and socially anxious (probably by nurture), so I have opted to keep my profile direct and honest, rather than trying to make it especially warm and inviting, because I want to conserve my very limited supply of social energy for those who are comfortable with the way I communicate. That said, I am not at all an otherwise unpleasant person to be around. I just get worn out quickly by social interaction and often need time alone to recharge.

I'm more interested in meeting people for platonic reasons than romantic ones, and honestly, I tend not to be romantically inclined toward someone unless I regard them as a friend first. If we're getting really specific with the labels, I identify as bi/panromantic and demisexual. And if you know what that means, you probably understand why the friendship aspect of a relationship is important to me. If you don't know what that means, go ahead and google it. Don't worry, I'll wait.

I am recently married to a wonderful person, and our relationship is very committed and somewhat open (somewhere between monogamish and poly) so I am only interested in meeting or dating people who are going to be comfortable with that. All are welcome to message me for a friendly chat, but as far as dating is concerned I am unlikely to reciprocate any romantic feelings without first building a strong friendship.

It's important for people just getting to know me to understand that conforming to social norms and gender roles is really not my forte. This applies to my dating habits as well - I will only "follow" those rules that happen to coincide with what genuinely feels right. To me, relationships are strictly between the people involved and what is right for them, society be damned. I am often eager to subvert established power structures, and somewhat tied to that, I am deeply invested social justice issues. I expect people in my social circle to care about those issues as well, even if we're not always in perfect agreement.

As many different ways as I can describe myself here, I still think it's difficult to get a sense of what I'm like without investing some time and energy in stimulating conversation.

What I’m doing with my life

Working toward becoming a therapist. I've been in LA for over 5 years now, but I still haven't seen as much of it or met as many people as I'd like.

I’m really good at

being unexpectedly witty.

getting lost and then found again.

doing things that I should regret, but don't.

remembering random strings of letters and numbers.

I love to sing and I think I'm reasonably good at it. I also love to cook when I have the time. My chocolate chip cookies will rock your socks.

The first things people usually notice about me

I can come off as really quiet and reserved at first, but I will open up in surprising ways.

When people get to know me a bit they are quick to notice my sense of humor, calm demeanor, and general fondness for all things geeky and absurd.

Music: My taste here is even broader than movies, but genres I gravitate toward include classic rock, oldies/R&B, jazz, hip-hop, punk, and indie.

Food: I love Italian, with Thai and Indian tied for second. There is a special place in my heart, though, for comfort and soul food, which is what I'm best at actually cooking, thanks to my southern-influenced upbringing.

Other stuff: I am fascinated by space travel and most things powered by controlled explosions.

The six things I could never do without

Absurdity, Humor, Idealism, Skepticism, Empathy, and Independence.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

time travel, human consciousness, and what to make for dinner.

On a typical Friday night I am

Wherever I decide to be.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

Really wouldn't be private if I was willing to admit it here. I have purposely answered a few match questions incorrectly to weed out condescending jackasses.

You should message me if

You feel like chatting and making a new friend. Bonus points for Scottish, Irish, and most English accents because I find them entertaining to listen to. Also glasses. Glasses are cute.

I am interested in finding people whose company I enjoy, and whom I can connect with on a mental and emotional level. If all you want is sex, I'm not the girl for you.

Please do not message me if you feel an overwhelming urge to inform me about your assessment of my appearance, positive or negative. I don't care.