(to audience)
YOU THINK I’M AN ANIMAL;
YOU THINK THAT I’M DUMB,
BUT I’VE GOT SMARTS, AND I DON’T LIVE LIKE A BUM.
A RASCALLY SON OF A SON OF A GUN
HEY, I WAS BORN WITH TWO OPPOSABLE THUMBS,
AND I CAN LIFT UP LATCHES,
TREES: (echoing) (... LIFT UP LATCHES)
DANIEL: UNTIE KNOTS,
TREES: (..UNTIE KNOTS,)
DANIEL: AND I CAN RAID YOUR TRASHCANS –
TREES: (...RAID YOUR TRASHCANS!)
DANIEL: MY FAVORITE DININGSPOTS:

OH, I LOVE TO EAT.
THE WORLD IS MY OWN PRIVATE OYSTER.
I LOVE THE SWEET SMELL
OF EGGSHELLS
AND MOLDY GORGONZOLA.

(picks out items from trashcan)

HAVE A SEAT!
BON APPETITE!
THERE’S TUNA FISH –
A NOBLE DISH –
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S RIPENED FOR A DAY.