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Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Sad Story.

This messed up my day......

Stella please, post this on your blog, a friend's son committed suicide yesterday, he had a psychotic episode and the parents took him to a church where they chained, prayed. tortured him for days . He didn't get better, they kept it secret because of the stigma associated with such sickness in Nigeria.

After months , they took him to a hospital where he was being treated and the young man was so traumatized after he realized what happened to him, after he came back to his senses , he took his own life. I heard he has scare all over his body from beatings he endured(I am weeping so hard right now) . This should have been avoided if they took him to hospital first, gave him moral support and love instead of the society blaming him for failing sick.

I am so upset because if the family didn't keep it a secret, as someone who knows about mental sickness, I would have advised them better. So sad, a young promising, intelligent man gone at the age of 18, he cleared his WAEC with A's he was the best in his class. He is already in university and the worst , The episode happened while at school and trust my naija people , if he ever came back to school , they would have started treating him differentlyAfricans are ashamed of seeking professional help for mental health issues and always blame atrocities on the devil when this like this happen or they kill their wives or parents. 80% of Nigerians have mental issues in varying degrees.

Not only the chronic mentally disturbed naked man on the streets that his sickness degenerated because he was not treated. Why are all churches and mosques full of paranoid and hallucinating congregations. Mental sickness is like diabetes, high blood pressure, ulcer and any other health issues but Africans will rather blame health issues on family curse etc.

I think the media should help and create awareness, sometimes some of them make it worst by always portraying a person with health disabilities in a dehumanizing way( some of them always use this word MAD MAN, MAD WOMAN) and ignorant people laugh at such person not knowing it can one day happen to their love one.

There should be awareness especially in secondary schools because this health problem always start late teenage stage. People should be taught what schizophrenia, depression, anxiety& panic disorders, bipolar disorder etc so when they have this type of problems, they should go to a mental hospital and get help fast instead of running to where they will be chained, tortured and abused.So so sad.

I sympathize with the family with the family if this is true. It's sad. Stigma against such people must be condemned.But this story is sketchy. How did the boy take his life? Where did it happen? What if this story is framed up just to attack religious institutions? Some so-called churches are terrible but anyone can come up with this sort of story. I do not intend to hurt anyone. I'm just curious.

Yes, as a psychiatrist, I agree stigmatization is a big deal and Most tNigerians tend to spiritualized things.

So Good piece...and yes, awareness is paramount but pls don't go throwing statistics anyhow. Where did you get your stats of 80% from? I'm just curious. As someone who is working on the field here on ground, I'll like to have access to your source.

This is so sad. Don't we have good mental institutions in this country? Many times I see the mentally sick (mad ) on the streets and I wonder why the government's allows them to roam about when they can be treated in a good psychatric hospital.

Thanks for that Blunt Chic. You people abuse t-billz here on this blog for opening up about his issue. Can remember the day I opened up about my brother's depression issue that led to drug abuse and that stupid Atheist came for me and even insulted my parents for it. Typical Nigerian behavior!! (Only for the he/she-goat to come out on New Year and say 'chikito I've forgiven you') Honestly I personally think you that Atheist need to go for mental evaluation. *hiss*

The truth is When Nigerians feel you have a mentally challenged person in your household they start using it to abuse you even when they have no cause to. Honestly, many Nigerians are backward and it will take a lot for us to get to the frontline on many issues. That's why there's a lot of caving in. Stella I tell you out of 10 Nigerian homes, 7 have a mentally challenged child. Many are just too scared to admit it. Because of what people will say. They hide and go for consultation or take medication. Come and see the people we see rehabilitation homes.

When we hear cases of intense domestic abuse, do you think most of those men/women are sane? We end up calling them 'wicked' when in actual fact someone's brain has been deteriorating for a long time and no one thinks it's an issue because they aren't walking naked on the streets of Nigeria.

One of my bosses opened up to me late last year that his wife of 18 years has a serious mental problem. That he has always been wondering why she acts a certain way and they've been having issues for almost 10 years now. After he read some books and watched her closely. He called her brothers and shared some facts with them. And they were shocked because she has had symptoms right from their childhood days. This is a well placed man in the Lagos social scene. Of course he sought for my help sharply for private practice referral, because I've always been open about my family's struggle. The woman in question is very beautiful Sophisticated and the only daughter of a very rich Igbo chief. Beautiful and classy. But only her husband can tell that something is amiss. To us she's just a yellow woman who is a high handed snob. He said he bought 4 TVs last year. She smashes everything and anything even in front of the kids and breaks down crying immediately after. And the kids now rally around her to pet her. That the school sent him an email and said they can't allow her to PTA meetings again as she always wants to talk but her speech is incoherent. He said soooo much that day. That he feels bad he didn't pick on it earlier on and he may have triggered it by his irrational attitude - thinking she was just being dramatic, demanding and difficult.

And if you're a psychiatrist there's money I private rehabilitation. Since Government leaves it all to 'Yaba left' people have had to look for selective solutions to their problems. Don't sit there and wait for job. Print cards and start giving out to people. You will be amazed the kind of phoencalls you will receive.

On the overall, I feel bad for the boy. Please if someone has a mental challenge around you, SEEK medical help. One of those churches has been recommended to my dad by a so-called friend but we said over our dead body. Because such things dehumanize the patient and make them feel worthless. It is not recommended at all. Don't ever do that. And if you know someone chained in an church get them out NOW!!

The stigmatization is just too much and then ignorance is on another level on this part of the world,small mental breakdown that can be cured with good medications and psychological evaluation but no they will run to one church for deliverance where they will be extorted and the victim beating thoroughly and made to go through all sort of abuse that to me even worsens the situation,so would you blame the poor boy....with his intelligence he should have known better that suicide wasn't the only option,he should have changed location and school but just to avoid the humiliation he took d easy way out...THIS IS REALLY SAD

Something similar happened to me, I was taking excessive alcohol cos I was depressed and yet wanted to sleep. You. I don't go out to dry k. I buy and till I see the last drop. I won't stop. Coupled with marital issues. Myvfakiky yanked me to a psychiatric hospital, it took the common sense of a consultant psychologist see that k was not mentally I stableed,i was just depressed and got dependant kg alcohol as my succour. to discharge me, after discharged. I slippped back,it was a psychologist that suggested rehab. Got there and did the therapy. I'm now back to my old self. Clean. Working and stuff. But the stigma. Hian,if I cough, shit,pee,laugh,they would assume it's the psychologist too tendencies resurfacing. But that God part of the treatment was assertiveness. I learnt to face the bull by horn, dare everyone by staying clean.but I still hear the whispers from family abt my situation being incurable. I can't trust anyone now. The twelve steps of recovering addict is acceptance, belief, making amends and generally studying clean. But I must tell you that the taunting from family actually makes me believe Ive got skoink skoink for head. They watch me as if I'm some minute organism under S microscope. Believe me I suffer and I'm still suffering.

The reason why people take their children etc to church's for healing is because we believe that there is nothing that God cannot do. I've seen people being healed of cancer (in churches) when doctors have given up on them. And whether we want to believe it or not, in most cases there is a spirit behind mental illness. That being said, peeps should go to mental institutions while praying for healing also.

Religion....the biggest scam ever invented. Now, this young man is no more due to ignorance. The same pastor that will tell you to come for prayers for healing runs to the UK when he has stomach upset. Nigerian pastors are more dangerous and evil than our politicians.

They might even term the person a witch or demon.Churches and pastors have driven so many to despair and so many kids are stigmatized and blamed for their parents misfortune.It's really getting out of hand.

Religion....the biggest scam ever invented. Now, this young man is no more due to ignorance. The same pastor that will tell you to come for prayers for healing runs to the UK when he has stomach upset. Nigerian pastors are more dangerous and evil than our politicians.

Oh my sweet Jesus! That's the problem with our society, the black mentality makes it difficult for us to accept that depression which could lead to mental illness is real. The church needs to be able to distinguish between when to perform 'exorcism' and when a real mental evaluation is needed. The church I'm sure thought the boy is possessed by an evil spirit without a proper mental evaluation.

Let's create awareness, people suffer from depression a lot in Africa, don't be ashamed to seek professional help. Like that meme tee blizz posted yesterday, "if you can seek help for physical pain, why not do same for your mental health?"

Been in the library before and someone started screaming, he had exceeded what his brain could take for that moment and he kept on forcing himself, so hia brain shut him down... Balance is forever key.

The girl you are talking of probably doesn't understand her body and the limit her body can take.

I guess it is just for few seconds. I remembered while in sec school during general prayers, this efiko girl beside was dropping mathematical formulas effortlessly and here i was trying to remember the formula for finding the vol of cylinder. She didn't know what was happening until she was tapped and came back to her senses. All these fake churches that will torture people in the name of deliverance should pls tell me where Jesus Christ treated the sick like that.RIP o.

To clarify...Reading too much does not cause a mental breakdown. But for people who are already predisposed to mental illness (that's another topic) and people who have had previous episodes of mental breakdown, reading too much puts a lot of stress on them and can cause another episode. That's why it seems like people who read 'too much' have mental issues. Trust me, they don't read more than you or me. Any other thing that stresses them can also cause a breakdown e.g emotional stress.

Happened to my very good childhood friend back in Uni (I've mentioned here before). Mental stress due to intensive study. Her dad is a medical doctor and her mum a nurse. They quickly arrested it. She was reading for that MB (medical exam) and had failed once before. Didn't want to disappoint her parents. It's been a long journey but last Christmas she posted on Facebook and thanked everyone who has stood by her. Tagged all of us her friends. Tagged over 100 people. Church members and all. The truth is she is such a sweet girl and We supported her through that period and now she's so grateful. She still graduated but didn't continue with medicine. Did her NYSC too. Imagine if we had chained her? Jeez! We really need to wake up....:

All these people need is love, support, prayers, medication and encouragement. Once they know they have a support system, they press on. But no! We abuse them. Call them 'aro'. Mock them, laugh at them, stigmatize them, abandon them in spiritual homes. What a shame....

dis is sad men... Wat a great loss...consciously or unconsciously we are all guilty of this...we need proper health enlightenment in dis nation menh... not everything is spiritual as we think... rip to that young man

So sad. RIP young man, if only Nigerians will stop been ashamed and seek medical help when the sickness starts, that's how my uncle is degenerating at home all because his wife and brothers are scared of the stigma attached to taking him to a psychiatric hospital.

Interesting story. I am not sure it's true but the gist about mental health care is taken even though the writer instead of speaking to it started sermonizing.

Mental health issues is not a problem only in Nigeria. We should first of all stop being unfairly critical of the Nigerian attempt at solution. Hospitals in the US are criticized for over medication. The truth remains that no one has really found a solution.

while raising awareness on mental health care, let's not pretend that we know what the trigger is or what the appropriate care is.

Restraint of the patient is practiced by both hospital and other unorthodox places.

Hmmmm RIP to the dead.Sometimes I think religion smtimes clouds a lot of Nigerians thought process. Mental illness is like a taboo in this country and the next thing people say is. He/she is possessed by demons. Even on this blog a young lady is in her 30s she's not married. The next comment is she shld go for deliverance her spirit husband is chasing her. Infertility, her spirit children are chasing her. The time the TTC woman shld have gone to hospital to seek help, she's in prayer houses. The time a single girl shld be out socializing, meeting new people and working on herself. She is gong from one mountain top to the other. My friend told me about a classmate is sec school that committed suicide also. The parents assumed d boy was possessed and kept going to prayers houses.This boy took some chemicals from science lab and downed it, luckily help came and he was taken to hospital. His stomach was pumped.This guy was already getting better. Then at nite, he used the drip in some form to kill himself. Really sad stuff.

It's just so sad,am sure it one of these white garment churches.I most time wonder where they get their Doctrine from as Jesus never flogged anybody possed with evil spirit( if that be the case) he only say words and the spirit leaves. Why can't they do same.How do u torture the flesh just so that an evil spirit will leave a victim spirit. Hmmm can't even relate both.

The way Cancer awareness is been created, let there be awareness for mental issues too.. it shouldn't be something people shy away help from.No one should be stigmatise for seeking help either.

Eya. So sad. I don see things like this tire. One was a doc. Even in his crazy state, he'd still give u drugs prescriptions and it will work effectively. His family sha took him to the hospital. After some months, he became Normal. But, he couldn't face the stigma. Anywhere he goes, people will start pointing fingers at him. One day, the parents left him in the house all alone. And Dat was it. Dude, took a very strong rope, went into the bush and hanged himself. Chai, it was so painful.

This is a sad one. RIP young man. No one has a right to take his/her life, it's not worth it.

Religion has done a whole lot of things to so many people. Where do I start counting from? I had two scenarios like that, one was I my secondary school days where a young promising and intelligent student almost lost it.

Secondly was in my University days, don't even know if the guy has graduated. He was my coursemate. He took religion to another level. Everybody saw he was running almost mad except his church members who thought otherwise.

It got so bad that he was seeing sin even when others greet him. He ends up falling almost all his courses in every semester and yet he was not bothered.

His parents did not help matters too even when students call his parents to report the state of health of their child to them.

Nigerians should learn how to get help for mental sickness and depression.

I don't joke with my health and i try not to stay unhappy or angry for an hour.

The problem with Nigerians is that everything is spiritual.A 3 year old acting foolish associated with her age, they will say she is possessedA man suffering from mental illness, they will say demons have taken over him. Open your minds, be aware, No. Everything church. If only it were to be a Church were Christ truly lives then fine. But no, they always run to the fake ones were they flog a sick man to committing suicide or better still to death. Smh

The stigmatization is so bad that it rubs on other family members. Once someone in your family has had mental illness, for that person and other family members to get married will be a problem. You start to hear don't marry from that family, there's madness in their blood. Its so painful and I guess that's why the late boy's family kept it a secret

Religion has been the opium of the masses. Their are basic issues in life that needs correction with common sense. For example when someone living a fast life he or she needs common sense to let them know dat they need to stop and re evaluate their life. Not everything needs religion o! But our ability to do the right at the right time and God takes care of the rest.

It's high time we Africans need to realise that not everything is spiritual. A lot could have been avoided if he had been given the right intervention. Like the poster rightly said, once an awareness is created for people to understand mental health issues, their aproach to mental health patients would be totally different. A friend's husband suffers from bipolar disorder and depression but you wouldnt know because he takes his tablets. It only comes in full force when he stops taking them.This is so sad, a promising young man with his whole life ahead of him.May his soul find peace!

My mum had serious mental problem for years, spent year on end in psychiatric homes across the country, she was a single mum, so my grandma took care of me all the while, she would sometimes discharged but will run away from home after a few weeks to unknown destination, picking and eating dirt till someone familiar spots her and informs the family, able bodies men will be hired to make the trip and bundle her back to the hospital. As a child the trauma and stigma I suffered is uni mag, parents didn't want their kids being friends with me but cos I was the best in class, I still had a few friends. Sadly, we lost her many years ago, she died in a psych hospital. Fast forward to marriage, I have been married for 4yrs now with a child even, my hubby knows everything about me, knows my mum was a single mum and had died but he doesn't have clue she ever ever had any mental problems, I don't intend telling him too.... You know why? COS OF THE SOCIETY STIGMA!!!

I WASN'T THE ONE THAT HAD ANY MENTAL ILLLNESS BUT I WAS STILL STIGMATIZED. And believe me, I cannot swear that my hubby will not stigmatize me WHEN he finds out. #stopstigmatization

Somehow people are beginning to open up..It is gradually having a name,it's no longer called spiritual attacks,ogbanje etcSoon,people will become less judgemental and more accepting.We will get there,surely.*Hugs*

This really got to me,strong woman..please don't ever let your husband find out..may God bless your marriage forever 😙😙..may God also grant the late boy's family fortitude to bear the loss and also anyone that has or is going through this.ehugs

My son has mental problem and it all started when he was 16,we didnt know then because he started seeing things and always looking at the world as a very dangerous place. A very intelligent boy who never drank alcohol or smokes started refusing to run errands for me or leave his room. Its a long story but he had an episode at 18 years. His father took him to church for them to cast out demons from him but when i got there as a smart educated woman,i took him to hospital though for 2 days i slept in the church with him. I held him when others looked at him funny,i cried so much ,as i am typing now,tears are clouding my eyes remembering all they did to my handsome good son before i was able to rescue him. Kids in the church called him onye araoooh (mad manoooh) this is a child that lacks nothing,ajabutter ,they scared the hell out of him,he has never slept on the floor before talk of where people are shouting and dramatizing. Any way,to cut story short,i took him to hospital,though he takes injection once a month now,he is doing very well in school.The truth is nobody want to be a brother,friend to a mentally ill person,do you know,i never told any of my friends such thing happened to my son,we kept it in the family because of the stigma. I am guilty of stigmatizing mentally ill people,i remember insulting somebody when we had issues and reminding her madness runs in their family,fast forward today,it has happened to me. If we can first accept that mental sickness is a sickness like diabetes,cancer etc and learn the tail tail signs before a full blown psychotic episode,it will help our society. Each time i look at my handsome intelligent son,my heart ache for those that are ignorant of this sickness and what those affected that does not have loving supportive family are doing now. Will i say we are lucky it didnt happen while he was in school,i feel he is coping very well because nobody knows what happened to him and if you see him now you wont see any signs.Many times i want to shout about it ,tell the world this sickness is real and can be controlled but i cant because of our society,my family will even be mad at me but honestly awareness needs to be created,now i want to help mentally ill people more than ever,i am saving towards that and i plan to take as many as i can off the streets in Nigeria.My son told me recently,in his own words,mum i might chest it and come out and create awareness,he said the only taught he was having when he was 16,17 was to commit suicide. He said he has read more about this sickness and people need to know more about it but its only government,big NGO or celebrities that can help if they start campaign against stigmatization to people with such sickness or if those taking medication can start coming out to tell the world their story,but who will start it first????????.

Hello a,I respect you and what you've been through.I also agree with you,the society is not ready to accept mental illness as part of what happens to human beings around us.I think for now it is important to let your son choose to tell the world if he wants to.He seems intelligent,he might even head an NGO God willing.Because of how horrible some people are,he can't be destabilized right now. Keep shielding him from bullies,you are doing an amazing job.Keep up the good work. Kudos to your family.

This is a topic that interests me so much.. society,people,lifestyle and health are of major interest to me.With life and focus,I'm sure I will get to study more about all these,and help bring awareness to people that do not know much.

Your story really touched me. Please be strong and hang in there for your son. He will prosper and live a normal life.I have a brother with mental illness. He was diagnosed as a teenager in a teaching hospital where I was training as a medical student. Maybe I'm hard but I never felt stigmatized. I mean my classmates were using him as a case study so there was nothing to hide. No one made me feel different. If anyone ever tried to use that against me, I never heard of that.It must have been terrible for my mother. But we accepted it as God's will. Most times he is fine but when he doesnt take his drugs he relapses so hospital admissions over the years. He is bipolar and after witnessing a depressive episode in which he was afraid to leave the house, I have come to appreciate the manic episodes. Luckily that occurs more often than depression for him. Anyway with my mothers love, he went to Uni and graduated. He has an okay job as his illness limits him from tasking jobs. He married a girl from our village and believe me everyone knows about his mental illness. I think the fact that we have never hidden it helped a lot with the perceived stigma.And yes, 7 in 10 families have a case of some sort.And many people roaming around if checked will be found to be psychotic.

I came in here late . But I will not hesitate te to give my opinion on mental health . First and foremost we have to educate people about mental health ... this is because when people hear the word ' mental' to attribute it to 'madness' and this is wrong . Mental just refers to something in the brain .

Secondly we need to create the awareness ... and stop the spiritualization

Thirdly mental health issues is a global problem. As the cause isn't yet fully understood so treatment is also not fully quarantined ..

In fact. There are worse side effects from the drugs for mental health issues ... such that patients build dependence ... and reach a point of tolerance .. then they get to a stage of needing a high concentration of the drug or a different class and this can lead to an outburst of a bad mental episode .. ( relapse) . These medications as well can't just be stopped ... you have to take them for the rest of your life or you seek a non - orthodox treatment/ alternative treatment .

Most importantly the key to managing mental health issues is ' moral support' we need to be constantly there for such people .

Mental health issue some are heriditary and it can happen to anyone irrespective of your social status

Lastly I beseech you ' Stella to open a forum for the discussion of mental health issues , how loved ones have coped with this issues . I'm willing to explain more on this topic ... it means so much to me. Think about it Stella .

For the first time,i read almost all comments here because this issue is so personal to me. My brother is suffering from schizophrenia and he is on medication. Talk about the best human being with wonderful heart its him. Its still like a dream because it started like a dream,suspicions like is he ok when he turned 18 and became so paranoia and we didn't understand why. He had an episode and thank God my parents are capable and educated,he was rushed to the best hospital abroad. It was his case that made me read and read everything about mental illness,its real and its scary because even the medication slows them down and makes him weak. He is doing well now,in college but he changed his course because we advised him not to over stress,he reads alot and he is on full academic scholarship but we are still searching for permanent cure,we believe its only God that can heal him permanently. Funny my parents dont want anybody in Nigeria but personally i dont care because we are good people and its not our fault my brother fell sick.I plan to come out and talk about it but with his permission.

The story is true. He is already in 200 level in Babcock. What all this church turn psychiatric centres will cause eeh.......hian may God comfort the mother. And she's a widow with 2 kids left with only one now......painful. Please parents monitor your kids ohhhhhh, if you see them too quiet and withdrawn. Ask them questions and probably take them out and cheer them up . learnt the brother said he was so quiet and withdrawn the night he hanged himself. RIP to the dead

@mentallyawareng is here to stop and end the stigma associated with mental illness..you can reach out to us on any social media platform. We do have to lose more people to the stigma attached to mental illness because of ignorance