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Monday, April 2, 2012

Like many others who are many months from their surgery, my blogging frequency has plummeted. Not that I set the world on fire with my frequency even in the beginning. I've always blogged more for me than anything else I lately I've had some WLS thoughts that I wanted to get down on "paper".

I'm 20 months post surgery. What does that look like for me?

The scars on my tummy are light. They almost blend in to the other stretch marks, chicken pox scars, etc. I was looking at my port scar the other day and thought - wow, that was a big bruise, ugly wound that was opened up to install my port. What an absolute joy that it is now just a faint reminder of the road taken.

The bad news is I'm up about 20 pounds from my all time low so I'm down 80 pounds rather than my 100. Seriously. If that's bad, I'll take it. Would I rather have 20 less pounds? Yes. Do I want it bad enough to actually do the work it would take to get it off? Not yet.

The good news - I'm 80 pounds down from my highest and I've been 80 pounds down from my highest for 13 months now. I'm not only down 80 pounds from my highest, I've maintained it for over a year. THAT HAS NEVER EVER HAPPENED. And, would never have happened without my lap band.

I bounce pretty consistently between 216-219. I don't like to see a 220. I got out my summer clothes, put them on and they fit. I guess this is something that happens for a lot of people but I'm not sure it has ever happened for me. I go to the store and try on jeans, and I still buy a size 16. I "cheat" and eat something I shouldn't (McD's Frappe for breakfast, root beer float for dinner - bad, bad and bad) and it still fits.

What is this bizarro world where I don't have to buy new pants every 4-5 months? Where I don't dread the dressing room and realizing that yet again, I have to face the fact that I've gained weight? This maintenance thing is crazy.

I wouldn't say I'm at my sweet spot. I think I can eat more than I should to get full. However, I eat too many sweets to get those 20 pounds off (see above). If I follow the rules and take my time, I can eat pretty much whatever. I still eat too fast though. Need to work on that.

Today, I have on a dress that falls a couple of inches above my knees without tights. It's going to be 90+ today in St. Louis. Am I a bit self conscious about going bare legged for the first time in the season? Yes. Does it look ok? I think so.

About Me

I'm 37 years old, wife to an amazing husband and mommy to an adorable 4 year old. That's a lot of amazings and adorables but they are my world and a large part of why it's time to lose the weight. I love my friends, books, music, tv and movies. I hope to one day actually love running too. I was banded on June 16, 2010. I'm hoping to finally put an end to what seems like a lifetime of yo-yo dieting.