Running and life - both moving you forward and yet you always seem to return home.

I was looking at my Running Ahead training log and it looked bleak, dismal, empty. I haven't run in a long time. I actually do not remember the last time. but I got to looking at my PR section and the Indy mini popped up. It is only a few weeks ahead. Below is what I wrote about the race afterwards, a race I was extremely happy with.

2009 Indy half marathon. Friday night Hooters with Jake and Tom. Order of boneless wings and 6 Killians and off to bed. At 12:30 am. Up 5 hours later and off to the start line with Jake. Explained the course to him and off we went together. For about 1/4 mile. Then I lost him.

My race went well. Same issues I always have at a start. Why am I doing this? How am I going to finish? This is going to hurt. But then I fell into a rhythm. I rhythm that I was comfortable with. A rhythm I thought I could hang onto.

I ran. I made it to the track - still filling good. But the track - that is such a long track. (if you didn't know the Indy half marathon runs miles 6 - 8.5 on the Indianapolis race track) - always looking at the same thing for 2.5 miles. Eventually I was off it and running back towards the finish area.

Mile 9 was a slow one - 10:01. Slow, not sure why. But then mile 10 came up - where I lost it last year. I came together and cranked out a 9:09. Only a 5k left and I was under the pace I wanted. I wanted 2:10, a 10 minute pace. I was about a 9:30 pace and hoping I could hang on the last 5k.

I wasn't hurting, I wasn't breathing hard, I wasn't overly tired. I actually felt good. I was getting past by people, but I was also passing people. I kept at my pace. I grabbed water and walk while I drank. Like every other water station before.

So I ran.

The closer I got, the happier and apparently faster. Crossing the river in the last mile became a race between me and knowing I had it whipped. I ran my last 5k in 28:42. My last mile was an 8:39. Sweet!!!!

It was a great run for me. A fantastic one, not so much for my son, the cross-country high schooler that promised to kick his old man's ass. Somewhere in the last 3 miles I passed him and beat him. I lost him in the crowd and did not find him at the designated meeting spot. But then I did not expect to wait on him, he was supposed to be there waiting on me. Now that he has gone through Army basic training and continuing to workout I do not think I will ever beat him in a race again. But that's ok.

So, I am reading this and trying to think back to my training. Was it better then than it has been this year. There wasn't an almost full month of non-running was there?March 2009 - 52.6 milesApril 2009 - 45.2 milesNot great but at least I was active. 26.2 of those miles were the Illinois marathon 3 weeks before the Indy mini. This year?March 2011 - 16.3 miles (including a 5k PR)April 2011 - 0 (but the month isn't over yet)

I know RunningDoc, you don't have to tell me, but you should anyway. And the rest of you as well. I deserved to be grounded. In my defense, well, what defense can I truly give. I have slacked, caved, gave in. I have become the Jack Black of the running world. Slacking, barely getting by.

Work is work - always taking too much of my time. Spring/summer is here and that means outdoors clean up. The house is still in a perpetual renovation mode - that I have actually done some work on recently. Helping friends out with their projects and just hanging out. Doing a lot of introspective contemplation (big words there Astro - now go look them up) and some reading. (Personal Record by Rachel Toor - book review coming later).

I just need the proverbial kick in the ass, the pep talk to get me out, the you always have time to run for 30 minutes. The 'damn your belly is getting round' statement. And like my Hooker loves to say, 'Come on Sally, you can do it'.

But can I? I really have my doubts at time. Doubts about doing it, doubts about finding the time. Did I mention all the projects at the house I am in the middle of? And that spring is here with yard work - 6 acres of grass that grows and grows, a driveway to repair, goats, chickens, cat and a dog. A dog that has learned how to climb the fence and get out of his confinement. Yea, he does that now.

Anyways, I am working on it. I am getting closer to getting out the door in the morning. Hopefully soon, hopefully tomorrow.