1. Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.2. One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.3. The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure.4. God was able to create the world in seven days only because he had the aid of Mr. T, a blow torch, and a musical montage.5. Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.6. Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference however, is to walk on fools.7. Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."8. Mr. T has removed Pee Wee Herman from existence for making fun of his cereal.9. Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.10. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.11. As a child MR. T used to go into the sewers of NY and hunt alligators. I know what you are thinking: “There are no alligators in the sewers of NY”. Yeah...Now!12. Google won't search for Mr. T because it knows you don't find Mr. T, he finds you.13. The only thing to survive a nuclear holocaust would be Mr. T and cockroaches - Mr. T does not like cockroaches... for that reason and that reason alone Russia and the USA agreed to reduce their nuclear arsenal14. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.15. If you have ever beaten Mr. T at a game, you obviously didn't know the rules.16. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.17. Mr. T was almost involved in a second car crash. To avoid the crash, he folded his arms and slowly shook his head. The car decided it was safer to avoid Mr. T.18. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.19. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T was not beat by Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III. He actually lost to Stallone's stuntman, Chuck Norris. It took 5 hours of work by a dozen makeup artists to make Chuck Norris ugly enough to be a believable Stallone. Even with Chuck Norris, it was still necessary to use 3 metric tons of animal traquilizers to knock Mr. T out long enough for a 10 count.20. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.21. A common and widespread form of capital punishment in olden times was known as "pitification", where fools, sometimes in large numbers were brought before Mr. T and pitied to death. Later, the process was deemed too messy and inhumane. Thus, impalement and crucifixion were invented.22. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.23. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.24. Mr.T has created a laxative. The box contains only a picture of Mr. T with his arms crossed but that image alone can make a person crap themselves.25. Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.26. Death is Mr. T's way of saying 'Slow the #### down'.27. The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white rhino and two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo.28. When in the presence of Mr.T a magic-8-ball ALWAYS predicts PAIN!29. Someone once suggested that Mr. T's first name is Pit. His body was found 10 seconds later. The police concluded that he committed suicide by stabbing himself with a Mohawk 389 times, choking himself with a gold chain and by eating both of his own legs.30. Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.

"The only way to bag a classy lady is give her two tickets to the gun show...." - Ron Burgundy, Anchorman, Channel 4 News

27. The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white rhino and two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo.

Sic Semper TyrannisPslam 377 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways,when they carry out their wicked schemes.13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for He knows their day is coming

I once saw Mr. T driving a red rolls royce convertible in downtown Chicago in the early 90's. He had all the gold chains on, as well as the overalls.

He was stopped to turn from Wacker onto Jackson Blvd. Out of some strange instinct, I yelled, "Hey! Mr. T!" He looked at me and grunted in a typical Mr. T fashion. He then winked, smiled, and drove away.

Sic Semper TyrannisPslam 377 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways,when they carry out their wicked schemes.13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for He knows their day is coming

I posted this same exact topic on 1-11-06, and it was locked and sent to the trash bin.

"Posting repeat topics with similar or slightly varying titles. While it may seem to be funny, the "spamming" of the community in this manner results in problems for users and management," or so I was told. Well, I thought it was funny. I guess not.

Originally Posted By FITTER:I posted this same exact topic on 1-11-06, and it was locked and sent to the trash bin.

"Posting repeat topics with similar or slightly varying titles. While it may seem to be funny, the "spamming" of the community in this manner results in problems for users and management," or so I was told. Well, I thought it was funny. I guess not.

That guy is only 5'3". They used to have to film him way up in front of the other guys to make him look big.

"The great object is that every man be armed. ... Everyone who is able may have a gun." Patrick Henry during Virginia's ratification convention (1788) "A nation of sheep begets a government of wolves."-- Edward R. Murrow Sua Sponte

A common and widespread form of capital punishment in olden times was known as "pitification", where fools, sometimes in large numbers were brought before Mr. T and pitied to death. Later, the process was deemed too messy and inhumane. Thus, impalement and crucifixion were invented.

"That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me! You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. It doesn't show up on your airport X-ray machines, and it cost more than you make here in a month." -Die Hard 2