I'm No Perv, I Swear!: Portable Subway Straps

Well I'm sure you all know about the subway groping problem that Japan has. If not, Japan has a problem with men playing grab-ass (with women) on the subway. Well now there's a solution for Japanese men aiming to keep a clean reputation -- portable subway straps (525 yen, ~$5). What you do is, uh, hold the thing -- that way women won't accuse you of touching them because you're holding on to a giant plastic door knocker. I recommend getting two just to be safe. Because while the guy on the far right of the picture is clearly not doing any groping with his right hand, I'm pretty sure his left is knuckle deep in ass. But to his credit, it's probably his own.