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The Game

It’s Saturday night. You’ve got on your tightest pants or shortest dress. Your high heels, dangling earrings, and Mac lip gloss. You and your girlfriends ride together, and within thirty, you arrive at your destination. The club. And as a woman, what do you expect when you first step in? Wack lines. Whomp whomp.

Now granted, I haven’t been out clubbing with my girls in a while. Matter of fact, I have even fallen asleep in a couple because it’s not my thing anymore. But I can guarantee one thing without even having to step back into one- there’s going to be a lot of drunk men with no game. So fellas, if you do anything on this list… STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!

1. “Hey ma.” For starters, I am not your ma, boo, boo thang, sweet thang, girl, or any other variation. Secondly, you are men. Please have some manners before stepping up on somebody. And lastly, if you don’t know my name and you substitute it with “ma,” it wasn’t meant to be.

2. “Lemme holla at chu.” No.

3. “Why you look so mean?” This line should not be a one size fits all type of deal. You hear this all the time. If you want to say something, bring some substance to the conversation. But think about it for a minute. If you were walking through a crowded, funky room and getting bumped constantly and your feet stepped on or even have a drink spilled on them, you would be frowning too. Or if you’re on a mission, for example, headed to the bar or the bathroom, sometimes you aren’t aware of your facial expressions. So fellas, I’m gonna tell you a little secret. This line is tired and annoying. So stop it!

4. “You can’t have friends?” Are you kidding me? Say the shoe was on the other foot. Say I hook up with my new club friend and we end up in a relationship. Would you be okay with me getting new club “friends?” Hell no! You’re selfish.

5. The nonverbal grab. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m not going to say anything, but instead I’ll just grab your arm, butt, breast, or whatever. I had one guy that was bold enough to jump on my back after I ignored him grabbing my arm and the back of my shirt. This is just totally unacceptable on all levels. Why are you touching me? What do you want? Get your hands off me. All pop into my head when I see or experience this. This is definitely not a turn on. Don’t touch me. Moving on.

6. The stare. This is just creepy. I know you guys are just trying to see if you can catch a woman’s eye, but damn. Didn’t your mama teach you that staring is rude? Staring in any situation is weird and uncomfortable, but add the dark and an active atmosphere to the mix. I’m gonna just think that you’re plain ole crazy or a stalker.