Last Sunday, Frosty the Snowperson sat down with George Stephanopoulos on ABC's "This Week with George Stephanopoulos" for a heated interview that is making headlines across the nation. The People's Cube has obtained a transcript:

Stephanopoulos: Anyone who is familiar with the popular holiday song "Frosty the Snowman" knows how it ends. Withering under the heat of the midday sun, a melting Frosty tries to bolster the spirit of his mournful, adolescent friends, exclaiming: "Don't you cry, I'll be back again some day." Well, that day has come. Frosty has returned and has entered the Presidential race as the Green Party candidate, vowing to sweep New Hampshire with his own broomstick.

Frosty: Um, thank you, George, but I go by "Mr. Snowperson" now - it's much less offensive. And, George, before we continue, could you do something about these blazing lights. I'm sweating like the polar icecaps. I thought you were going to have a dry ice machine on stage. Look, I'm starting to puddle. I'm literally, look at this, a personification of the peril that this planet is facing because of anthropogenic global warming, if you get my drift.

Frosty '08 Political Action Committee chilling out SnowTV: government-funded community cable for Snow-Americans shows mostly snow and occasional adaptations of popular culture.

Frosty: Much better. Thanks. You see, if we lived in a socially just world, Snow Americans and other seasonal minorities would not have to ask politely for special accommodations; they would be mandated. Imagine if I invited you to my home, where we like to keep it a comfortable 25 degrees, and we refused to bring out the people warmers. You wouldn't like that too much, would you, if you get my drift?

Stephanopoulos: Certainly, not. Now, let's start by addressing how the media has received you. Many reporters say they're having a difficult time warming up to you; that you always give them the cold shoulder. *chuckles*

Frosty: Look, we all know I'm made of snow and your sarcasm is sickening. "Cold shoulder"? Come on, you're way out of line, George. I'm not going to be a punchline for you. In behalf of all Snow Americans and other marginalized, seasonal minorities, I demand an apology. I mean, I once lost a child to a group of teenagers, who took turns urinating on Frosty, Jr., literally pissing him away. This is an outrage, if you catch my drift.

Al Gore : Global Warming, by far, is an issue and a threat greater than "terrorism" not only to us, but also for People of Snow™ the world over.Snow-American activist: Countless Snow-Americans (Snowmen, Snowwomyn, Snowgays, Snowlesbians, and Snowtranssexuals as well as Snow-Blacks, Snow-Latinos, and Native-Snowpeople) suffering all over Amerikkka, [have been] denied their constitutional right to stay frozen throughout the summer... And what about the Snowpeople who happen to be Muslim? EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL SNOW-AMERICANS!

Stephanopoulos: How do you respond from critics within your own party? For instance, some have said that you're "too white" to be the leader of the Green Party. Others say that you're a hypocrite, who pontificates about reducing carbon footprints, but then your own eyes are made out of coal.

Frosty: Well, George, my eyes happen to made out of Clean Coal.

Stephanopoulos: Stop right there, Mr. Snowperson. Many leaders of the environmental movement say there is no such thing as clean coal and that you're engaging in "greenwash".

Frosty: I've had about enough of this. You have no idea the type of discrimination that Snow Americans have to endure. Now you people want my eyes, too; you want me to blind myself. Do you see me burning my eyes? No. Why would anyone burn their own eyes. This is ridiculous, if you get my drift.

Stephanopoulos: Alright, let's switch topics now. Tell us about the first time you interacted with humans over fifty years ago.

Frosty: Well, when I first manifested myself to some children in a New England town, I was growing increasingly concerned over America's dependency on fossil fuels. I knew that an environmental disaster was in the making. Therefore, I thought I'd make myself known; you know, introduce myself to the future stewards of the Earth and impress upon them the need to reduce their carbon footprint. I told them not to worry - that I'd be back some day. What I didn't tell them is that I planned to return when the Earth was in the worst throes of climate change. Well, those times are now! The Earth is heading, in a downward spiral, toward a cataclysm, of, well, global proportions, if you catch my drift.

Stephanopoulos: What about the incident with the traffic cop?

Frosty: Cops all think we're drug dealers. It's the whole "snow" association, I guess. The only reason that cop told me to "Stop!" is because he had racially profiled me. So I decided to get the hell out of Dodge, if you catch my drift.

Stephanopoulos: I certainly do catch your drift. So Frosty, I notice that a trademark accessory of yours is missing. What happened to the corncob pipe?

Frosty: Sure, I used to have a corn cob pipe, but I never actually smoked it. I mean, think about it: snow and fire aren't exactly the best of friends. Since smoking is now a taxable offense, I decided I'd better lose the quaint prop, if you get my drift.

Stephanopoulos: So you've picked Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer to be your running mate.

Frosty: Yes, if anyone can sympathize with the plight of the snowchildren, it's another seasonal minority, especially one likeRudolph who suffered the additional trauma of being an outcast among his own kind. Can you believe that his own people considered his wonderful glowing nose a horrible genetic mutation.The poor fellow was ostracized, disenfranchised, and mocked ceaselessly. Imagine if your parents rubbed shoe polish, or whatever Ruldoph's parents used, on your nose because you were different and they saw you as an embarrassment. But that little embarrassment ended up saving Christmas, now didn't it? And the fact that Rudolph's not bitter and wants to help save the planet from the depredations of humans is a testament to his character, if you catch my drift.

Stephanopoulos: Any concluding remarks?

Frosty: Yes. You see this silk hat that I wore back in the 1950s? It doesn't fit so well now, does it? It pretty much engulfs my whole head. That's because my frostline has receded, just like the polar icecaps and we all know who is to blame.

Stephanopoulos: Well, Frosty, I think there's still plenty of magic in that old silk hat of yours. Thank you for joining us this morning, it's been instructive.

Frosty: Thanks George.

-------------------------------------------------------A special thanks to Dr. Sheldon Allen Dwight, Prof. of History, University of Wisconsin, Madison. He supports a sustainable climate for all seasonal minorities, particularly the sadly plighted snowchildren. This transcript could not have been prepared without him.

Do you want the lives of melting snowchildren on your conscience during this Season of Giving™?

For a mere 16 cents a day, you can save an innocent snowchild from the ravages of global warming by sending in your tax-deductible contribution to The Smiling Snowflake Foundation (c/o Frosty the Snowperson).

If Frosty thinks he has a snowball's chance in Crawford of winning, then he may want to rethink his running mate. Sure Rudolph has a red-nose just like me; I can certainly relate to that and all the grief it's caused me.

But as a Hillary supporter, I would like to point out to all you Frostheads or whatever you call yourselves that your candidate's running mate has some mighty suspicious connections to Big Oil:

Specifically, look under the headings, "Expansion into Retail Outlets" and "Downfall."

First he was a shill for the big business Montgomery Ward, which was later acquired by Mobil Oil, which went on to merge with--dare I say it?--Exxon Oil! And what is Exxon bestknown notorious for nowadays? Why, paying off scientists to deny the scare tactics sacred tenets about Global Warming! And of course, anything to do with oil is to do with Bush.

This Frosty person sounds like a gread addition to Hillary's team if he could be persuaded. He is class-aware, a living testament of Capitalism destroying the Earth and he has no central nervous system. Perhaps he could replace the right-wing traitor who accused Comrade Hussein of dealing smack. I mean this guy is perfect! Well, except that he is white but he could be spray painted with a more politically correct color.

Poor Frosty, it was all George W. Bush's fault that summer came because people had the audacity to chose to drive an SUV without consulting the government.CURSE YOU BUSH! YOU AND YOUR RACIST WEATHER MACHINE!

Obama says the biggest problem with us all is cynicism. We must stop the cynical exploitation of children with the "traditional" "cheerful" brainwashing song about Frosty and replace it with this truthful and powerful rendition centered about the current truth about Global Warming. It's destroying Snow-Americans all year round, not just in winter!

We must stop the seasonal changes started by the Bush administration! If Al Gore hadn't been cheated out of office, not a single snowperson would melt and their population would now equal that of carbon-breathing polluting humans and hopefully replacing them.

Isn't that sweet? Though I wonder if Crystal is frigid, at least with Frosty? And if there's something going on between her and Jack Frost? He seems quite the rogue, and according to this article she seems to have thawed his cold heart, almost making a fool out of Frosty. That would certainly put Frosty's marriage "on the rocks" and could hurt his campaign.

Of course Global Warming is a Republican conspiracy to disenfranchise the Snow-Americans. Just think how few of them survives the summer months when the Global Warming is at its height - and therefore can't vote in the November elections. Doesn't your heart bleed when you think of the merciless genocide of Snow-Americans committed every summer by the Bush administration's energy policies?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko on another thread back in July (Liberal Oxymorons)

Look at them, comrades! Just look at them! Snow-Americans everywhere are withering away to nothing all because of George Bush and his American Empire! If we don't act now many more will melt away! Do you want their snow on your hands!? Huh!? Do ya!? I think not.... vote Democrat, NOW!

Isn't that sweet? Though I wonder if Crystal is frigid, at least with Frosty? And if there's something going on between her and Jack Frost? He seems quite the rogue, and according to this article she seems to have thawed his cold heart, almost making a fool out of Frosty. That would certainly put Frosty's marriage "on the rocks" and could hurt his campaign.

These are the worries that keep me up all day.

That is quite the conundrum indeed. May I suggest Frosty divorce Crystal and instead marry Jack Frost. That would be a more progressive choice. Frosty would then be in a gay-inter(species?) union. A perfect presidential candidate! Is this asking for too much?

You know how there are farmers that get paid for not growing crops? For Frosty's Green Party campaign he should do the same thing, but with carbon. This is how it'd work:

There are all these rich people like Geffin and Spielburg and Al Gore etc. that produce more carbon than some small countries. These rich people buy up all kinds of carbon offsets to offset the kamegajillion tons of carbon they produce. There's only a finite amount of carbon offsets the planet can absorb. How do we make sure that the millions and millions of poor Americans don't start creating so much carbon that they too need to buy up some of this finite amount of carbon offsets? Solution: the government will pay the poor to not produce carbon! That's right! Don't fly by private charter jet, don't travel around with a dozen car motorcade, don't live in a house the size of John Edward's house, don't use thousands of dollars worth of electricity like Al Gore and the government will pay you for not producing excessive amounts of carbon. Just like they pay farmers to not grow food. This will not only keep the price of carbon offsets stable but will give the oppressed workers and peasants a very good reason to vote Frosty.

By all means, Otis, we must have a stable market for carbon offsets. In fact I think that it should be administered by USDA in the same enlightened spirit as they do the farm subsidies. After all, corn is at a record price owing to the ethanol which Our Esteemed Leaders so want us to have, and if Mexican proles are going hungry, what matter to us as long as our cars are full? And the price supports are a ladling out of OPM that can bring tears to this old socialist's eyes.

But by no means entrust it to VA which in some cases wanted to give veterans with brain damage sustained in Iraq only $8500 or so a year in compensation. That is not enough to support the carbon offsets of Al Gore's valet's mother's gardener's maid.

And, Otis, I also like the idea of just not having those...people, and here my lip delicately curls, around me all the time. When you reach our status within the Party, we shouldn't have to be around the people that we dedicate our lives to, should we?

Everything I do is for the people and should never be read as being done to the people. Who are you gonna believe? Me, a trusted party member, or your lying eyes?

New York City, New York - Speaking before a gathering of Green Party activists and architecture buffs, Frosty the Snowperson unveiled a scale model of the utopian city he plans to construct if elected President. The city, which will be made entirely of ice and snow, "will be a haven to People of Snow across America," Frosty declared. "It will be the first of its kind," he went on to say, "a municipality designed by Snowpeople, built by Snowpeople, and occupied by Snowpeople."

New York City, New York - Speaking before a gathering of Green Party activists and architecture buffs, Frosty the Snowperson unveiled a scale model of the utopian city he plans to construct if elected President. The city, which will be made entirely of ice and snow, "will be a haven to People of Snow across America," Frosty declared. "It will be the first of its kind," he went on to say, "a municipality designed by Snowpeople, built by Snowpeople, and occupied by Snowpeople."

But how, if Global Warming (thank you, George Bush) is melting all the ice?

This plan reminds me of the James Bond movie where the villain hijacked three nuclear submarines. He was going to use two of them to nuke NY and Moscow, after which everybody would be nuking everyone else, and when they were done, the villain had great plans to build a wonderful new world beneath the sea. Yes, beneath the sea.

(The third submarine was so James and his current hootchie would have a means of escape after foiling the villain's nefarious plot.)

I've often heard that nuclear war will bring on a nuclear "winter." Is this Frosty's plan to stop global warming and preserve the unique culture of the peace-loving, kite-flying Snowpeople? By triggering a nuclear war with so many mushroom clouds springing up, they will block out the sun, and the Earth will be plunged into eternal winter, thus allowing construction of the wonderful new city of ice and and snow?

That seems a lot of fuss and bother. Why doesn't he just erect a giant disk to block out the sun, like Mr. Burns did? (Or is THAT his plan?)

Pinkie, Darklingski, don't make sense. Whether or not the world is warming matters not a bit. After all, it's now "Climate Change," which nicely hedges the bets. It's warmer? Climate change! Oh. It's colder? Well, that's Climate Change too.

Windier than I like? What could that be? Well, you guessed it. Climate Change!

And here's the really good sleight-of-hand. If the weather is the same as it was, that means that things are screwed up because the, get this, my hands never leave my wrists, the weather changes. So. Ipso facto, ex post facto, quod erat demonstrandum, tractum ex fine ("dragged out of your ass") we win, they lose and I'm so happy I could just shit.

And what the hell does your aircraft carrier have? The brood of Godzilla's first foe?

But if we are to go to words 18" long, then we probably ought to migrate to German, where they think nothing of stacking up those unlovely things and freighting off all the verbs save the first one to the end of the sentence where it will merely irritate me.

Sorry Commissar, my German is extremely limited. I only had about a years' worth in Jr. High School and I was distracted by all the pretty and smart commissarkas in class.

You are, however very close with "aircraft carrier" and "anguirus." The phrase "Mea navis aëricumbens anguillis abundat" is "My hovercraft is full of eels," a pop culture allusion to any translation system, in particular ones which translate poorly, made popular by Monty Python in their "Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook" sketch. Some enterprising student translated it into Latin, and I'm sure other's have done so into many other languages.

Pinkie, Darklingski, don't make sense. Whether or not the world is warming matters not a bit. After all, it's now "Climate Change," which nicely hedges the bets. It's warmer? Climate change! Oh. It's colder? Well, that's Climate Change too.

Windier than I like? What could that be? Well, you guessed it. Climate Change!

And here's the really good sleight-of-hand. If the weather is the same as it was, that means that things are screwed up because the, get this, my hands never leave my wrists, the weather changes. So. Ipso facto, ex post facto, quod erat demonstrandum, tractum ex fine ("dragged out of your ass") we win, they lose and I'm so happy I could just shit.

Commissar, you have summed up progressivism so nicely. This is the ultimate (so far) advancement in progressive philosophy.... we are right no matter what happens. Ultimately, that is the only error my Uncle Iosef ever made... he mistakenly published what his 5 year plans were to accomplish, so his success could be judged... at least until the history was changed.

Pinkie, Darklingski, don't make sense. Whether or not the world is warming matters not a bit. After all, it's now "Climate Change," which nicely hedges the bets. It's warmer? Climate change! Oh. It's colder? Well, that's Climate Change too.

Windier than I like? What could that be? Well, you guessed it. Climate Change!

And here's the really good sleight-of-hand. If the weather is the same as it was, that means that things are screwed up because the, get this, my hands never leave my wrists, the weather changes. So. Ipso facto, ex post facto, quod erat demonstrandum, tractum ex fine ("dragged out of your ass") we win, they lose and I'm so happy I could just shit.

Ah, a fluorescent bulb is slowly and gradually glowing brighter in my head now. Thank you, Theocritus! Now that you mention it, I have been hearing a lot lately about "Climate Change", "Climate in Crisis", "Planet in Peril", "We must schedule a meeting someplace attractive and glamourous so everyone will want to come, where we can share ideas about what we should put on an agenda to talk about what we should discuss to raise awareness and get more people to care about what is now an imperative moral issue, and we haven't a moment to lose anymore--we must act NOW--how's your second Tuesday next April?"

(Pinkie off)

I live in FL, and indeed I have heard that the extra-busy hurricane seasons in 2004-05 were the fault of this Climate Change--as were the two quiet seasons that have followed. And some of these people are upset about the latter because they're afraid quiet seasons will make dumb proles like me "complacent" and subsequently unprepared for the next Katrina sure to come. We can never be happy or relieved about anything.

We could of course speak in the tropes of carin-n-compassion. "So that the esteem quotient of the marginalized by society is not negatively impacted by assessments of vestments which are purely superficial or which are insufficiently cognizant of the relative unimportance of lavation on the totality of the integration of the mind and body complex, it is essential that one's labial structure not assume a rictus which might be interpreted as less than affirming."

We could of course speak in the tropes of carin-n-compassion. "So that the esteem quotient of the marginalized by society is not negatively impacted by assessments of vestments which are purely superficial or which are insufficiently cognizant of the relative unimportance of lavation on the totality of the integration of the mind and body complex, it is essential that one's labial structure not assume a rictus which might be interpreted as less than affirming."

In other words, if you see a stinking smelly bum, don't sneer.

Do I see your finger reaching for 1 on the telephone?

As in "Press 1 for Beingish"?

Sorry, I just came back from slogging and wading through the Beingism site. I hope (?) to eventually pick up the lingo through good old-fashioned osmosis.

So that the esteem quotient of the marginalized by society is not negatively impacted by assessments of vestments which are purely superficial or which are insufficiently cognizant of the relative unimportance of lavation on the totality of the integration of the mind and body complex, it is essential that one's labial structure not assume a rictus which might be interpreted as less than affirming.

And, Dear Comrades, I shall soon be on a fact-finding trip over the Winter Solstice, going incognito into the redoubts of the misguided beings who voted for the Bushitler in the Red States, to-wit: Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas, and much of Texas, where the people here were fools enough to elect him twice as governor. First ousting the esteemed Ma Richards, a paragon of progressivism, who increased the size of state government 40% during her tenure. A normal extrapolation of that would have had the electrons in state employment by the end of her second term, but the misguided beings here threw her out.

I'm sure it had nothing to do with the screech of her voice.

The Texas economy is doing very well right now and it is my intention to see its weaknesses, for how can people turn to us for relief if they need none? Which means that we must redouble our efforts to force the adoption of the First Church of Climatology (Reformed, Martha's Vineyard See) for it cannot possibly cause material prosperity--and that's a good thing.

This rheumy-eyed old socialist will not rest until everyone is poor--save the party.

I shall send reports on the Collective Effort from the road, and if I am lucky and see any particularly fetching examples of barbed wire or gun turrets, I shall of course post them.

Be safe Commissar, and if you happen to find the Chairman please direct him back here. He is probably still hiding out from a bout of Christmas giving as alleged by a comrade that will not be named here. I may be going to the wilds of Arkansas this weekend to arrange for the deportation of some of my family who I have reason to suspect of thought crime that live there. Also considering a brief donation collection trip to Texas.... which could be quite profitable for me while you are galavanting about.

Comrades, I am happy to report that I am here, in Amarillo, Texas, where I shall eat sushi. Not that I actually care for raw fish, for it is elitist, and I can't have that. At least not not in camera. But because I would never use the precious resources of Mother Earth for needless heat.

I have decided that to help stave off Global Warming we need to tax the fires in the igloos of the Esquimaux. (I feel a little froggie today.) After all, if I can eat toro, they can do without a fire. Don't they have all those warm furs?

Also the carbon credits that they get from not burning fires can be best used to offset the heating bill for the Right Reverend Albert Gore, Pontiff of the First Church of Climatology. For what is more important? That the toes of the Goracle are warm and toasty or that a bunch of blubber-eating savages should survive?

Commissar!!! I must renounce your actions in the strongest possible way! We simply can not have a more equal party member such as a Commissar, take a chance on eating food that is not cooked or even come anywhere near getting cold etc. Please tell me I misunderstood and that you are not being put out in any manner whatsoever?

Frosty the Snowman Person,Who art in a Majikal PlaceHallowed be thy name.Thy neighborhood come,Thine will be doneIn Amerikkka as in that Majikal PlaceGive us this day our daily Carbon CreditsAnd forgive us out Carbon FootprintsAs we condemn the unbelievers.

Wait, if he did come back, does that mean the Armageddon has started? Al Gore's movie sure looks like it. A PeopleLeaf Star has fallen in Hollywood, and the lamb has made the lion his life-partner. The Four Horsemen are the SUV drivers bringing War for Oil, Famine in the Inner Cities, Republican Pestilence, and Death of the Polar Bears.

Please note that the Pale Horse of the fourth horseman (who is explicitly named Death) is actually GREEN!

wikipedia.org

The Greek word interpreted here as "pale" is elsewhere in the New Testament translated as "green." The horse is sometimes translated as "pale," "pale green," or "green." The pale greenish colour of the fourth horse could mean fear, sickness, decay, and death.

How about a Progressive, Politically Correct children's book about Frosty? Then we could follow up with a sequel, make a whole series--"Why Frosty Has Two Snowballs", that sort of thing. 'Twould be the perfect companion piece to these two titles:

<off>Someone suggested replacing Thatcher's Nanny State with the Bully State. Note that Big Brother spends a great deal of its time "protecting" us from the evil capitalists and I'm quite sure it's a turf war.

I have maintained for years that the most important thrust of these monsters is the National Education Agency--not only is it a source of endless foot soldiers protecting their sinecures, but what could be better than raising children who cannot read and cannot think and who are indoctrinated? I'm not at all sure that No Child Left Behind isn't really a left-wing catechism. And I am very disappointed in Bush for letting Kennedy write that goddamned bill and then flogging the congress, Republican at the time, into passing it. Where outcome, not opportunity is equal. The left's wet dream.

The most dangerous thing for the left is people who can cry, "The emperor has no clothes," and their fear and loathing of people who do not toe the party line bear me out. If you're a member of a group that's supposed to be captive--black, brown, female, gay, and you don't toe the party line, you are in for particular abuse. Because what you say cannot instantly be dismissed owing to the source.

Rush said, "It's not the charge but the seriousness of the charge." That is really not quite it. It's the provenance of the charge. Anything that a straight, white male says cannot be true because he said it. It's like Wagner dissing Mendelssohn's music because he was a Jew, without regard of the merit. Any successful attacks on the sodden pieties of the left will have to come from people who are not white, straight and male because they have been utterly neutralized for being white, straight and male.

There are times that I feel that if W said, "2 and 2 are 4" then Frank Rich would either deny it, or say that he stole it from someone else.

How about a Progressive, Politically Correct children's book about Frosty? Then we could follow up with a sequel, make a whole series--"Why Frosty Has Two Snowballs", that sort of thing. 'Twould be the perfect companion piece to these two titles:

Rush said, "It's not the charge but the seriousness of the charge." That is really not quite it. It's the provenance of the charge.

Actually, that was not Rush that made that statement, he uses that as the argument liberals make. It's origin came from when Reagan ran for president in 1980, and the alleged Hostage deal. Despited the facts that we had a record of all then vp candidate Bush was at, the rumor was began that he had flown to Pairs to make a deal with the Iranians. Because his schedule would not allow this in a ordinary jet, then of course he flew there on an SR 71. Tom Foley, speaker of the House, being a typical democrat, not one to let facts stand in the way of a good investigation, said "We have absolutely no indication that that happened, but the seriousness of the charge requires us to investigate."

Ah. Tom Foley. Who, when Washington State enacted term limits, sued the state and was unelected, the first sitting Speaker a very long time. The man who dethroned him, Neathercutt (?) promised not to serve more than three terms, but guess what?

If I could wave a wand and have one thing happen, it would be term limits for everyone in government, from president to janitor.

Absolutely! I think you would like the book I recently read... Term Limits. The back cover had a snipe scope saying "Taking Washington back, one politician at a time." It was really pretty decent. Some retired SEALS, who had seen several of their comrades die because a senator ran his mouth about an operation, went after him and a few others because of their years and years of overspending, failure to live up to their promises etc. They were very careful to not harm any civilians, police, or Secret Service. Their message was simple, either you clean up your act or else we will clean it up for you. They were not looking for their own power, or money. They only wanted the country back to sanity.

Character OnAh yes, we shall indeed have term limits in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.... death or purge.

Sorry Commissar, my German is extremely limited. I only had about a years' worth in Jr. High School and I was distracted by all the pretty and smart commissarkas in class.

You are, however very close with "aircraft carrier" and "anguirus." The phrase "Mea navis aëricumbens anguillis abundat" is "My hovercraft is full of eels," a pop culture allusion to any translation system, in particular ones which translate poorly, made popular by Monty Python in their "Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook" sketch. Some enterprising student translated it into Latin, and I'm sure other's have done so into many other languages.

"Drop your panties, Sir William, I can no longer wait until lunchtime!"

I think I am still infected with the virus that makes you quote Monty Python when someone mentions one of their sketches.

Ah. Tom Foley. Who, when Washington State enacted term limits, sued the state and was unelected, the first sitting Speaker a very long time. The man who dethroned him, Neathercutt (?) promised not to serve more than three terms, but guess what?

If I could wave a wand and have one thing happen, it would be term limits for everyone in government, from president to janitor.

Don't we already have them? I have a card in my wallet called, "Voter's registration."

To be fair, I don't think it works for the janitors, though. I think they're hired in.

Term limits? Not really, While it can be done, an upstart is at a severe disadvantage from the start to take on the power of someone who has been in office for a long time, or really should we say, been on the take for so long. Basically we are the definition of insane. We have senators that have been in office for 40 years who still say they are for change. We look for a different result yet keep the same people in power. We like "our" guy, so we expect the change to come from somewhere else I guess. Somehow I don't think our Founding Fathers imagined such a scene, For the large part, it is damned hard to see what we have in congress as citizen servants. Why, I have even been guilty of voting for a democrat senator for no reason other than no republican had a chance, he is conservative by democrat standards, and because he has been in a long time, he has always been on very powerful committees. We limit presidents, why not Senators? It's not quite as bad in the house, but we could certainly do well to limit them to say 4 terms.

I would limit even janitors. I have worked around court houses for 40 years or more and have never seen anything like the sinecures of even a small county. Twenty years' elected office and full retirement. One janitor was given a retirement party because he quit coming to work. He never did anything; he had schmoozed the commissioners to hiring people to do his work.

The only other way I know to control them is spending. Do not ever vote for a tax increase no matter the stated objective. Money is fungible, dammit. If someone gives you $1000 for Christmas to use on, say, education, you can use it on education and use the $1000 that you already had earmarked for education on a party. Get it? Now hear me! No tax increases. Giving a government money is insane for they will use it for their own purposes the way they want.

But it is good to have a janitor that knows how I like to have my office cleaned and can be trusted to stay out of the vodka cabinet and my secret files. Actually, it is good at times to have people such as heating and air people that know their buildings. Often those systems are unique to the building.

For instance, do you really think we need contractors in to service such delicate machines as the Hildo?

That funding has been denied in lieu of Dennis Kucinich's proposal for his special project there, therefore I have procured the necessary funding from Congress rehabilitate the unused Zeppelin hanger at Lakehurst, New Jersey. It won't take much, only adding an additional football field's length to the existing one that's already in place.

It is my personal belief that Comrade Kucinich's DNA is little and green.

I think that I shall, as part of my grand progress, stop by Texas' silicon valley in Austin and see if there is sufficient processing power to operate the Hildo to its maximum capacity, taking into account a variety of factors. For example, when the military is made to look as though it failed in Iraq and the Bushitler's polls fall, then the Hildo needs to do the hootchie-kootchie in a clockwise direction for 45 seconds, and then a buck and wing for 10, with an increasing intensity until the moment of payoff.

But Our Many Titted Empress does not want to have to specify all this herself, for she is after all Empress of the Universe, and it should just be done for her, as the burrs on her hooves should be just taken care of without her pointing a trotter at them. Hence the need for processing power.

Clearly she deserves and requires all the processing power available. I do have a question, and perhaps it is beyond security guidelines to answer, if so I will understand.... and no doubt know the answer by the absence. Surely the Hildo is far too advanced to use ordinary hydraulic fluid, so is it true that it uses prole virgin blood?

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths

Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise