Brannigan, Begin Again/Quotes

Zapp Brannigan: So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors. How very neutral of you.Leela: What?!Zapp Brannigan: That was almost the perfect crime. But you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock … and scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum.Kif:[sigh]Zapp Brannigan: Search them for paper! And bring me a rock.

Zapp: I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me.

Judge: Zapp Brannigan, you stand accused of blowing up Doop-headquarters. How do you plead?Zapp Brannigan: Absolutely, 99 % not guilty.

Bender: This is all Leela's fault!Fry: Yeah, if she had let us use the backup dolly, we could have broken it, given up and gone home by now!

Bender: Leela save me! And yourself, I guess! And my banjo! And Fry!

Leela: Your Honour, it's all true: My female incompetence, Zapp's cat-like reflexes, the stuff that made no sense, all of it.