Will She Convert?

Rhinebeck, New York, the site of the nuptials.(Chris Hondros/Getty Images)

We know Chelsea Clinton is getting married to the tastefully named Marc Mezvinsky this Sunday Saturday; we know the wedding will take place in Rhinebeck, New York; we know some of the people who will be there; we know how the uninvited feel; we even know (courtesy @daroff) that the bride’s mother, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, is already in the state.

What we don’t know, and what the Jewish community seems to want to know, is: Will Chelsea convert for her Jewish husband?

I don’t know! But one clue could be to know whether the Mezvinskys—the only Jews who could at least be argued to have an actual personal stake in whether Chelsea remains Methodist—are likely to care every bit as much as we do. Here’s what we got: In 1996, the groom’s mother, Marjorie Margolies-Mezvinsky, a onetime congressperson, disclosed that she was raised Reform; that her then-husband (now ex-husband), Edward Mezvinsky, was raised “very Orthodox”; and that as a compromise they chose to raise the kinder as Conservative.

That’s it. That’s all I got. There’s your speculation, as it were, for the day. Who knows, maybe we’ll have more tomorrow!

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I have looked with interest at the many articles speculating about Chelsea’s upcoming wedding. But I had hoped for a different angle here. Do any other Tablet readers remember Rhinebeck, NY as the setting for Camp Boiberik (of blessed memory)? Yiddish culture camps would make a great subject for Tablet to cover!

I did a search on Google and came across this Jerusalem Post article “Counterpoint: Birthright for mixed marriages” by David Forman.

It turns out – from other sources – that 28 out of 100 of the Jewish marriages are interfaith. In 2 marriages (out of the same 100), the spouse converts to Judaism, but in 2.5% of interfaith marriages (5 out 200) the spouse converts to Christianity. 23% of all Jewish marriages are then interfaith where each spouse keeps the original faith.

We three options, as we already have an interfaith marriage, yet everyone is interested on option #1 below that has the lowest probability, and we act as if options 2 and 3 do not exist

1. Chelsea converts to Judaism 7% probability
2. Marc converts to be a Christian 9% probability
3. Chelsea and Marc do not convert at all 84% probability

David Forman tells the story of his nephew, Paul, who married a Christian, Julie, who converted to Judaisn:

” ‘Ever since Julie converted, she’s driving me crazy. We have to keep kosher, observe Shabbat, attend synagogue. We’ve created a religious monster.’ Paul’s mother laughed: ‘I told you son, if you had married a Jewish girl in the first place, this never would have happened!'”

Chelsea conversion to Judaism will transform her in an the unofficial princess of contemporary Jewish world,including Israel. She will gain a royalty-like star, she will be the Rothschild equivalent of America. Only the conversion of a British royal heir could match the moral importance, and it never happened.

Options 2 and 3? Schlossberg converted to be a Catholic in the wedding to the presidential daughter Caroline Kennedy. How did it work? At least it lasted and produced three children, while being on the brink of a divorce several times…

All four of Schlossberg’s grandparents were Ukrainian Jews born near Poltava, Ukraine

Will she or won’t she? Will she be with him and Elena Kagan eating Chinese on Christmas Day?

What is wrong with the obscession of Jews when most of them don’t act like Jews, feel like Jews or like Jews.

When a Steven Spielberg can say “I was embarrassed to be a Jew growing up.” When Ralp Loren (Lipshitz) can say that he “Was ashamed of his name”, then Jews have a serious problem. The most productive people for their tiny numbers don’t realize how great they are. We knew the Pharoah, Cleopatra, Cesaer, Marc Antony, Aristotle well before anyone else who is no longer around. That’s why the Goyim hate us because, let it be said, that we new Jesus while he was still a Jew.

While we’re on the subject. Jews are the first to fight for everyone else except Jews. Jews make up almost 100% of Bernie Madoff’s victims yet they are being asked to return hundreds of thousands of dollars from the court-appointed trustee Irving Picard. This demand will devestate these investors who didn’t know about the Ponzi scheme. Mad Money Jim Cramer’s hedge fund returned 24% profits for decades. His he a crook. Let’s do something to really help fellow Jews and write to the government demanding that the victims not be further penalized.

A Jewish Amrican student studying in Israel became attracted to the Palestinian cause, naturally, wound up in a demonstration against Israel and was hit in the eye by a tear gas grenade. Lost her eye. She says she really has feelings for both Israel and the Palestinians. Her father, a one time Israeli, now deamnds that Israel pay for her medical expeses.

The question is why do Jews always root for the other side no matter how bad they are for the Jews? Adam Shapiro, Greta Berlin Free Gaza activists and the Jews who became human shields defending Yassir Arafat all put nails in the coffin of Israel. Is there no pride in being Jewish and being strong? If they acted the way they do against the Moslems they would be killed or worse. Wake up already!!

Ralph Waldo Emerson~ The Religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide.

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