The Range

See Jim Nintzel get hammered head-on by Ernesto Portillo Jr. at 6:30 p.m. and midnight every Friday during the "Reporters' Roundtable" segment on KUAT-TV's Arizona Illustrated on Channel 6. This week's guest: City Councilwoman Nina Trasoff.

Full of Holes

Hey, remember that big ol' wall that was supposed to cover 750 miles of the U.S.-Mexico border? Looks like it's not gonna happen after all.

Spencer S. Hsu of TheWashington Post reported last Friday, Oct. 6: "No sooner did Congress authorize construction of a 700-mile fence on the U.S.-Mexico border last week than lawmakers rushed to approve separate legislation that ensures it will never be built, at least not as advertised, according to Republican lawmakers and immigration experts."

But hey: Surely the voters have been fooled, right? Mission accomplished!

The second bill--known as the "No Loophole Left Behind Act"--allows the White House to spend the $1.2 billion set aside for a wall on roads, lighting, cameras, radar and anything else that will aid in creating a "virtual fence," according to Hsu's article.

Hsu noted that the double-layered fence that some lawmakers want would cost between $3 million and $10 million a mile. The U.S.-Mexico border is about 2,000 miles long.

Hsu also revealed that the Department of Homeland Security would soon be experimenting with the aforementioned "virtual fence" on a 28-mile border stretch near Tucson. Wonder if it will be like those cool invisible shields that protect the Enterprise on Star Trek.

Sorry, Minutemen! You'll have to remain on duty after all.

Waste, Fraud and Abuse

Illegal immigrants might be able to swing the upcoming election, thanks to a couple of no-good activist judges on the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, who put the requirements that voters prove citizenship when registering and show ID when casting a ballot on hold last week.

Attorney General Terry Goddard said he would "promptly seek a review" of the decision.

Secretary of State Jan Brewer responded to the decision with a press release so full of grammatical errors that it would likely be declared illegal if the English-only proposition passes next month. The statement read in part:

"Secretary Brewer noted, 'This is very alarming to have the Court of Appeals in San Francisco stay these voting measures as passed by the people of Arizona.' Added Secretary Brewer, 'the fact is we very successfully implemented identification at the polls during September's Primary Election without a hitch,' added Brewer 'given our recent success of ID at the polls, the timing of this decision could not be worse. I can't help but be very concerned about the extreme confusion this will potentially create in re-training poll workers and re-educating the general public so close to the upcoming General Election.'"

Republican Randy Graf, a leader in the Proposition 200 campaign two years ago and the Republican candidate for Congressional District 8, called the decision a "travesty" and expressed confidence that the U.S. Supreme Court would ultimately uphold the law.

Peace and Quiet

Looks like midtown residents don't have to worry about the next generation of fighter jets rattling their windows. U.S. Air Force officials said Davis-Monthan Air Force Base was not on the list of six locations that are now being evaluated as locations for the F-35A Lighting II.

How Would Jesus Vote?

The Most Rev. Thomas J. Olmsted, bishop of the Diocese of Phoenix, released Catholics in the Public Square, a booklet designed to help the faithful make decisions at the ballot box. Olmsted noted that that gay marriage and abortion are "intrinsically evil."

Hammered

The UCLA Bruins brought the pain to the struggling UA football team, beating them 27-7 at the Rose Bowl. The Wildcats' ground game still needs work; total rushing yards were -13, leaving the Cats with negative rushing yards for the third consecutive game.

On the bright side: If the game had ended at halftime, the Cats would have only lost 14-7!

The loss leaves the UA 2-4 for the season and winless in the Pac-10. But surely we've got a chance against Stanford, which is winless this season, on Saturday, right? Then again, Stanford has a pretty good chance against the Wildcats, too.

This week's Willie Tuitama injury: The UA's starting quarterback suffered his second concussion of the season when he was hammered head-on in the second quarter. Second-string quarterback Adam Austin is likely to get the start on Saturday.