Living Rather Than Wallowing

Just a day at the lake

I remember going to the lake once almost exactly a year ago. I was on the upswing of the worst flare I have ever had and was really weak.

Weak to the point that I was nervous to be in the water without a lot of people watching me and some pretty serious flotational assistance.

I just had a horrible sinking feeling that I was so weak that I could very easily get tired and experience…well…a horrible sinking feeling!

That day was a fun day only because I have some phenomenal friends that look out for me. Well, and also because one of my friends had too much to drink and decided to lay down and fall asleep in the middle of my friends front yard.

Oh yeah. And I have pictures just in case she ever decides to go into politics! I’m SUCH a good friend. 🙂

Yesterday, the same group of friends got together for another day on the lake. We tied up at the Sand Bar (which is actually not a sand bar but a little island with an even smaller beach that smells like dog poo) with approximately 100 other boats complete with dj’s and a local bar driving a paddle boat throwing out free coozies.

We spent the whole afternoon swimming, talking, and socializing with other (hot) boaters. At one point, me and another friend swam out to retrieve someone who was talking at another boat far away. It was getting late and we hadn’t been able to flag her down!

I realized when I got there that I had swam a good quarter of a mile from shore. With only the assistance of two pool noodles.

I thought about how panicky that would’ve made me last year and then I felt…panicky.

Not a good situation to get freaked out in!

But then I did a body check. Not tired. Not sore. No muscle cramps. Not even out of breath!

The only reason I was panicky was because I was afraid I might get panicky.

Isn’t that what happened to Harry Potter in being most afraid of the dementors? That he was only afraid of fear?

I hope so. Because that is what I told myself to snap out of it.

I swam with the girls back to the boat, careful not to look at how far out we still were, and before I knew it, I was touching slimy creepy lake bottom again!