-Because someone has to keep me in line. Someone has to remind me not to be a phony.

-You’re not a phony …

-I’m as phony as JD himself.

-You don’t pee in bottles…he did that right? Well at least you don’t live in New Hampshire. Look on the bright-side!

-Howard Hughes peed in bottles.

-Everyones full of shit, it’s what unites us under the banner of heaven. We’re all lying, lazy assholes looking for a little bit of love. So, it would be inherently hypocritical for someone-such as myself-who is also part of the human race, the last time I checked, to call bullshit on you. Because lets face it…

-For the love of gawd…

-I’m just making sure you understand the whole picture.

-I understand it just fine.

-I’m not sure you do.

-Just shut-up. Please. shut-up. I can’t…

-Oh.

-No. Sorry. I’m…dammit …

– Fine. If it makes you feel any better … bullshit!

– I just want people to realize that I’m not as ecstatic about the bottomless void that is otherwise known as tomorrow.

– So I’m to yell it when there’s plenty of peers and kin around so the point can be well made?

– Stop trivializing my neuroses.

– Neuroses are inherently trivial sweetheart.

– Stop making sense.

– Sorry lady, it’s in my contract to always be right.

– Is that right?

– Yup … if I were to make an illadvised piece of advice or do something without 110% conviction it would be a breach of contract.

– Well aren’t you swell.

– Swell, s’marvelous, s’wonderful …. take your pick.

– If I’m ever to meet someone who can’t make a Cole Porter … I’ll weep for their ineptitude.

– Bullshit!

– Ugh that’s not how it works!

– What?! How does it work then?

– I don’t want to have to explain myself again.

– You never explained yourself in the first place.

– Understandable

– So why must bullshit be called?

– I just can’t comprehend my immediate future and this makes me very upset. But I’m under the delusion that I have to remain perpetually caustic about the idea or else I’ll just be like everyone else. Scared.

-Valid. I’ll be able to commiserate in 12 months.

-It’ll be a blink.

-It’ll be a wink.

-No a blink… not a wink … that’s just stupid.

-How about a nod?

-How about you shut your trap.

-Yeah.

-Ha!

-Yeah.

-It’s just that when I say I want to get out of here…it’s a lie. Stemming from nothing more then a desire to run far away and let these dropped threads fray into oblivion. I don’t really want to leave at all. Why would I?