How many self-professed "experts" have you heard claiming
to know exactly what you're looking for in a relationship?
They sell books & videos, run seminars and provide a
host of additional resources guaranteed to help us all find
that special someone.

Dating services are backlogged with applicants, newspapers
are overflowing with "personals" and the on-line singles
chat-room phenomenon is booming. Yet, with all of this attention
and so many venues available, frustrated singles the world
over are still shaking their heads and asking that proverbial
question: "Why am I alone?"

This page is not designed to provide advice, but rather
to encourage you to take stock in yourself. Examine your
true feelings regarding the following relationship questions:

What are You Looking For?While intimate, long-term relationships offer immense
benefits, there are also some very serious issues to consider.
Examine the following comparison (Committed vs. Casual relationships),
reviewing the benefits and potential dangers of each seriously.

Committed

Casual

Benefits:

Trust
Companionship
Romance
Comfortable
Feels Safe

No Commitment
Freedom
Release
Stress Reducer
Feels Good

Concerns:

Rejection
Pain
Commitment

Pregnancy
STD's
Mixed Signals

Are You Willing to Contribute?If you've decided you'd like more than a casual relationship,
it's time to ask what you're willing to contribute to that
relationship. A committed relationship involves just that,
"Commitment." As service members, realize that your job
will mandate extended separations from loved ones. You may
visit exotic ports overseas or exciting cities stateside.
Are you sure you're ready to be loyal to that special someone?
Will you communicate regularly with your partner to maintain
a strong bond, or does this sound like too much, too soon?

What Do You Want?Too many people do not take the time to consider this
question seriously. It's often not the search for true love
or companionship, but the insecure desire to have what everyone
else has that motivates us. We're conditioned to believe
that being single means we're destined to be lonely. That
being in "any" relationship is preferable to being alone.
As rational adults, we know this is absolutely not true
and yet we continue to feel the need to search for something
or someone we may not really want.

Seeking a person to fill a void, or make you appear to
be "normal" is a recipe for disaster. Only when confident
and comfortable with who you are, can you expect to find
someone worthy of being your "partner." If you're truly
there intellectually and emotionally, then go for it.

Information for this article was provided by the Marines Fleet
and Family Support Center's "Return & Reunion Program."