It also conveniently doubles as a device for her narrative. “I had a 73 point checklist, but when I met “the one,” that all went out the window.” She’s already tried to employ that storyline before, it just fucking backfires on her every time she gets dumped.

Exactly. If she couldn’t get a date before this, imagine how hard dating is going to become after she’s splashed all over cable TV as a real-life Cathy cartoon, braying, be-tutu’d lunatic. SHE WILL NEVER GET MARRIED.

I tried to freeze the video on this can couldn’t do it. Thanks for your service. She looks monstrous. NOW I get why she’s feeling “out of control.” This show is going to make her look terrible. Still not as terrible as she truly is, but certainly not the innocent victim of singlehood I’m sure she tried to portray.

What the fuck happened to her eyes? Her eyelids are huuuuge. Even with a thick line of eyeliner on the top, there is still a huge amount of visible eyelid. And the area under her eyes has been filled in so much, it looks completely unnatural. Even young people have visible eye sockets under the eye.

If she thinks she looks good like this, she is so completely demented.

From further down the list of new Bravo shows:
LA Shrinks(working title)
Produced by Intuitive Entertainment with Kevin Dill and Mechelle Collins serving as Executive Producers along with Elise Duran as Co-Executive Producer.
It takes one to treat one! The professional and personal lives of dynamic experts are exposed as they counsel a wide array of clients at some of the top private practices in Los Angeles.

A friend who works for CBS once told me that half hour shows are 22 minutes & hour-long shows are 44 minutes, but maybe that’s not an industry standard? Anyhoo, I hope it is, just because that’d make it damn near 15 minutes of braying per episode (since I’m going to cave & get cable tv, which I haven’t had since sometime back in the 20th century, for reals).

Cameron Silver, co-owner of Decades, is a lovely guy. I’m excited for that show, and to see if he hears anything about JAB from Bravo execs that he can pass along. I’m sure their paths will cross during up-fronts or whatever.

Can someone do a screen grab of the moment toward the end of the video where, for a brief moment, she’s sitting in a pile of pink poufy dresses and absolutely looks like she’s just taken a hit off a Betsey Johnson crack pipe?

Thoughts from behind the lacquered donkey facade:
How much longer do I have to pretend to be listening before I can get back to talking about me? I have to share air time with two other bitches and dial-a-date here is cutting into a burro’s camera time.

Holy fuck, her dates were at the Terrace? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh lord, Donk, I’m so, so sorry.

For those who don’t know the neighborhood — the background of that picture is the parking lot at the end of Washington Blvd, between Marina del Bray and Venice. Fire up Google maps and you’ll see the lot, complete with the yellow gate in the background which closes late at night or when the lot is full. I can’t tell you how many times a bunch of us ran into those very palm trees getting back from the (far superior) Whaler across the street.

The Terrace is the quintessential pub on the north side of the end of the street; absolutely nothing special, the only thing going for it is the location. Ten bucks says that when this show airs, you’ll see random tourists wandering in the background, nearly getting creamed by people on their bikes.

This is the moment in the video that really disturbed me. Her face just looks so calculated and I think she’s actually batting her eyelashes. Same thing with the video about zen digital nomad. She just seems SO inauthentic. I wish she would just be herself, if she knew who that was.

I imagine they will be completely embarrassed after this airs. It’s one thing to tell your powerful deballage mom friends about your “spirited” daughter and her non-traditional “career” path over lunch, quite another to have them witness the cray on TV for themselves. I can imagine Ma and Pa Baugher are going to be mortified.

I know someone went to JA’s birthday party a couple years back and encountered Robin, who appeared to buy Julia’s stories about her glamorous, accomplished life… but there’s no way they can be happy about this. I see serious hairy times in the future for the Baugher clan.

And tell you what, Granny Moneybags is definitely of the type that believes a respectable woman appears in the paper only three times: at birth, marriage and and death.

She seemed to buy it. Upon reflection, maybe she was trying to convince others, and herself?

I do think they thought she’d hit a home run with PK, who came from a wealthy family and put up with her shit. After all, if he didn’t make a fuss (AT THE TIME) about nine fucking Baugher clan and JAB friends descending on his apt., and if he could make it through birthcray, surely JAB would be forced to seal the deal. Except he dumped her raft ass.

It is a magnificent moment, isn’t it? Our collective secret knowledge is about to be shared with (presumably) thousands of other people. WELCOME, WORLD, TO THE TERRIBLE MAJESTY OF THE BRAY AND THE CRAY!

If you’re Bravo, who do you give more airtime to: the good looking, reasonable, driven women who have some difficulty finding a good relationship, or Complete Prom Dress Lunatic Overdrive? She was made for this.

“Julia Allison is a columnist, television personality, Internet entrepreneur, public speaker, and unabashed social media junkie. A media and relationship expert, Allison has made over 1,000 television appearances on every major network…”

TRANSBRAYTION: If I come off looking bad IT IS NOT MY FAULT. It’s the editing. They made me look that way! I am a nice person! Okay… um… how about this… I was creating a character! I was making good TV!

They all look like a brand new level of trashy and fake. As Jack The Bulldog said up above, “vomitous.” Julia Allison’s lifelong dream to be seen by millions as the tacky, stupid skank she is has finally come true.

Bravo (sorry, BRAVO) seems to be heading in an ever-trashier direction, if that’s possible. Even more un-likeable people. (Shahs of Sunset, anyone?) Was saying to my mom that someday we’ll say, “You know, those early “Housewives” shows were actually pretty classy.”

Thank you. You can’t have it both ways – giving seal claps to a Donkey on her FB page and then coming here to say the show is going to be amazing. Amazing like a train wreck or amazing be/c your just so proud of your friend?

Or is Caro trying to get hits on her blog? Confused by her presence here.

Oh, amazing like a train wreck. I sure hope anyone getting involved in a Bravo reality show is aware that it’ll come across like this. If they’re smart, they will be able to pull a Bethenny Frankel and take the reins, image-wise. (Most aren’t.)

But am I happy for her? Yeah. She’s always wanted to be a “personality,” and this is kind of the pinnacle of that. It’s never a motivation I’ve fully understood, but hey, she got a Bravo show, good for her. And the trailer was hysterical.

Oh come on, Caroline. You say you’re happy for your “friend” yet always happen to pop up minutes after every time you’re mentioned on a snark blog dedicated to calling her fat and making fun of her fucked up face. Seriously. Pick a lane. Or just lurk without feeling the need to announce your presence.

I don’t know. I think it’s possible for Caro to be happy for her acquaintance but also post on this website when she’s mentioned. If I were being called a Donkey worshipper on a website, I’d probably respond to…

@anon: Didn’t intend to set anybody up and never would’ve thought she and Taylor would hit it off, actually. Introduced her to a handful of people in a party context.

@shamoolia: Sometimes I think it makes sense to chime in (don’t mean to draw attention to myself!! sorry!!) I do lurk. RBD fascinates me (anonymous communities tend to). Some of you all are hilarious, and yes, there are definitely things Julia does which which I disagree on varying levels (i’ll leave it at that). The body snark goes too far for my tastes though

Caroline–why is she your friend? What is likeable about her? The letters she sends to ex’s fiancees? Telling the world she was “inside” when her mom got raped? The outright lying? The bragging? The mental illness? Is she in some way a fun person to be around? Because I worked with one of her ex friends who was an ex because Julia trashed her on that dumb AM radio show. They used to be good friends. What, exactly, do you get out of the association?

I am glad to see Caro here and welcome her perspective. It bugs to see our commenters nag and nag and nag her about her association with Donkey. She can feel how she wants, and she’s been gracious every time she comes here.

If that’s true, then she probably shouldn’t be faking friendship and unnecessarily interacting with her. Anyone who knows Julia understands that she only sees that kind of stuff as positive reinforcement, regardless of the reasoning behind it. I agree with Malformed Face, above.

Meh, I do the same thing IRL. I know what lane I’m in when I comment on an overly obnoxious facebook humblebrag with a “WOW!!!! You’re AMAZING!!” I also know what lane all the people who ‘like’ my comment are in. It’s harmless really. I think I see it the same way Charles Forman was sees it.

I feel like with the ever-watchful eyeOfDonk upon this site, caro could never come right out and say it, so I will.

If you ran in the same circles as the donk (or any sociopath) and being around her was unavoidable, would you want them to feel you were their enemy?

Julia is fucking unhinged. She is unapologetic about stalking people she obsesses on and will trade in her own mother’s privacy for nothing. She stole a BFF’s wedding tiara for christ’s sake! You don’t want her thinking about YOU at 3am during one of her little manic scheme binges. Caro is being political. Don’t mistake that for endorsement. There’s a reason most people on this site don’t use their real name.

I believe Caro when she says she enjoys the funny stuff on RBD…but at the same time, she obviously has a strong and genuine affection for Julia. I will never be able to understand how any decent person (which I know Caro is) can have such positive feelings towards a serial liar and all-around awful person like Donkey.

My hunch was incorrect! I figured the Taskrabbit partnership must have had something to do with that “Silicon Valley” show that just got announced, but a guy who works there has said that it doesn’t.

On that note, I have no idea how Bravo will make Silicon Valley tech culture camera-worthy. I don’t think Randi Z. would get involved if she didn’t think it stood a chance at success, but having spent a decent amount of time in the area, I’m willing to surmise that even the people who *try* to be reality-show types in Silicon Valley would still make viewers fall asleep.

in fact, Caro, i think we already established here that the Bravo/TaskRabbit deal has to do with Miss Advised, especially given Julia’s copious use of their services in the past months, and shilling for them on her twitter.

Seconded! What do we care if OMGBears! is playing both sides of the fence? She’s Julia’s friend, not ours. She’s given us interesting info before so I say we welcome anybody who wants to dish.

And also agree with Brayella. Have seen a real tendency lately for smearing other people with differing opinions in a GOMI way. I likes me some GOMI but, I get tired of hearing the party line that “everybody and every opinion is welcome” only to see those who have one run out of the place by the regulars.

Oops, should make that clear. That GOMI runs people out for having a differing opinion. Still think we are good bit more civilized over here and I hope it stays that way when all the newbies rush over in the wake of Miss Advised.

i decided to go to sleep, and all THIS (points upwards) happens! so much to catch up on, and it’s my birfday! so just in case you were thinking about it, i’m pre-empting any funny business by posting this:

I have friends outside the US who use HSS or Tunnelblick to watch Hulu & do some other things — it’s a matter of creating a VPN to connect to an OpenVPN — I really can’t explain it, though I somewhat understand it, so here is a C&P from Tunnelblick’s site:

VPNs are primarily used for three purposes (sometimes all three simultaneously):
* To securely connect a computer to the Internet, even though it may be connecting through an untrusted network (a wireless network at a hotel or airport, for example);
* To securely connect a computer to the Internet as if it were located somewhere else (connect a computer in the USA as if it were located in the UK so that BBC content may be accessed, for example); and
* To securely connect a computer to a company’s internal network or some part of it (a branch office, for example).

HTH helps some or all of our foreign counter-cats find a way to view Miss Advised

That’s what’s so fucking hilarious. She thinks she’s coyly agonizing over non-existent failings in order to make herself more adorkable, and everyone else is JESUS FUCK YOU LOOK LIKE A DERANGED SOCIOPATH ON THAT TEEVEE SHOW ALSO UGLY

You’re so right. I thought she was honestly freaking out about how horrifying she comes across, but it’s all a bunch of humble bragging disguised as self-deprecation. I should have known the donkey better than that.

This. She can’t fathom the idea that she’s truly cunty, unsightly, and shallow. To her, finding fault in her is an infallible sign that there’s something wrong with you, not with her. When she faces universal derision about the show, she’ll be echoing Emily Morse; “Everyone is wrong [about me] but me.”

Jesus, she is already trying to spin this as a negative experience and set bridges aflame with badmouthing the show MONTHS before it even airs. She knows she looks like shit, comes across as a maniac and there is NOTHING she can do about it, so she tries to spin the narrative like she was FORCED to sign up and participate. Dumb ass.

OMG she looks exactly like an uglier Julia Sweeney in that photo. Julia Sweeney is a 50-year-old single mom workaholic who has had cancer, and she still looks better than 31-year-old Donkey whose ailments are all psychological.

It’s like she’s Julia Sweeney doing a horrible character. Only the horrible character is herself!

someone needs to make a gif of her popping out in the prom dress. in case you can’t tell, that was ON A DATE. the dude was in the foreground, as she most likely reveals her idea of an ideal outfit to him.

she is braying maniacally. it is the craziest thing I have seen her do on screen. it literally looks like the reveal of the villain from an episode of the 1960s Batman show.

I was very very worried they would edit her sympathetic. they will no doubt tone down her evil but her psychosis is BLARING even in these clips.

Had to jump right to the bottom to post this so sorry if anyone has already said something similar.

The exaggerated voice-over combined with the absurdity of these premises made me immediately think of South Park. The entire video is more believable as a parody of the current state of television than it is as a real preview video of actual shows.

I’ll find the link later, but if you can find a clip from the South Park episode where the entire existence of Earth is actually an alien reality show, watch it and laugh. This is that.

For new, untested shows, very little. I remember reading that Jersey Shore’s first-season contract gave each cast member only $500 per episode. The producers know that if the show takes off they’ll have to renegotiate much, much higher, but the majority of reality shows die in obscurity before you even hear about them. Mary was on one for a while. It had a name like One Ocean Place.

MONETIZE THE H8 BAYBEEE!
All those shows look repulsive. Would any real human in the nyc art scene really say they were “obsessed with carrie bradshaw”? How sad… and Silicon Valley is obviously populated by complete and utter knobs.

I thought the exact same thing. All of these shows are taking the basic formula (industry niche + weird professionals) and taking it too far. It was kind of fun to watch Million Dollar Listing and stuff like that, but do I really want to see a show about supposed gallerinas who would never, ever be able to pick up a job in any respectable NY gallery?

Julia will find her husband thanks to this show. Or at least her first marriage.

She’ll end up marrying a guy from another BRAVO show. It will be someone that’s on another reality show and they’ll meet at a rap party or some other press junket for their shows. Both narcissists will find comfort in each other after being over-exposed and ridiculed by millions. They’ll also both believe that they can parlay their reality TV appearances into some sort of “Media Empire” only to be smacked in the face by reality when they both find themselves without a job or a sustainable business.

Ewww, it will probably be one of the Silicon Valley losers. Not only are they desperate enough to be on that show, they are desperate enough to date her…and vice versa. Or, she suddenly thinks they have “fame.” Vom.

And seriously, Hermione Way? They weren’t trying hard enough. Also, much more interesting people exist in SV than the BROs they chose.

Don’t know if anyone’s mentioned this, but remember the OWN competition Julia almost signed up for? I just looked into it and apparently the Zach guy (with cerebral palsy?) people liked on here won, but his show already got canceled.

Brit Morin Congrats girl!
40 minutes ago · Like
Julia Allison Thank you B! Can’t wait to see the episode with YOU in it!
13 minutes ago · Like

Brit Morin is so fake. Totes used her for Bravo exposure. Vom in the shower.

Gotta say, I’ve got mixed feelings. I resent the shit out of the fact that after her years of scheming she has finally gotten what she wanted. At the end of the day, that’s the way she sees it. Even the most hated “Bravolebrity” still gets their ass kissed (to their faces) with special treatment and freebies and opportunities they don’t deserve. It pisses me off, to a degree, and having a weekly dose of her lunacy to look forward to or additional cat ladies to validate our opinions only soothes me on a shallow level. Julia has won, people. And that is a sad day in the basement.

Uh, no, personally I feel like *I* have won, because after I get to LMSAO at Donkey snorting & pawing the ground in front of potential millions & securing her spinsterhood while at it, she’ll be sobbing hysterically & I’ll still be LMSAO.

We laugh, she cries. Same ol, same ol. Difference is, now she thinks, correctly, that her antics got her what she wanted for all these years. In her crazy lunatic bobblehead this is validation that will fuel her plethora of personality disorders for decades.

But her crazy antics DID get her what she wanted, they got her a reality show, & you’re right that she feels validated … for now.

REMEMBER: She meant it at the time!

When it blows up in her face, other than finally looking like she has an excuse for sportin’ that busted face, she will be that much more of a joke & (AND) she’ll know what it’s like to have been used to promote oneself, cuz Jelly D & Flusher Price etc will be long gone.

I think we’re thinking almost exactly the same things, except you’re letting it ruin your day while that very thing makes me laugh (at her, not you; I hope that comes across right).

Nothing JA can ruin my day. “You have no power here! Be gone, before somebody drops a house on YOU!” haha

However, as much as you think correctly that her truth (lol) will shine through, it won’t matter. It won’t matter that JD and FP aren’t around like it doesn’t matter that MMBH et al aren’t.

IDK it just upsets me that society rewards this shit in general, which in turn validates a psychopath, etc. Ruin my day? No. Make me vom? Just a little bit in my mouth. I’d rather see her not get what she wants and become increasingly irrelevant than, well, this.

Yes, Handbag…exactly. What Donkey does or doesn’t get out of it is irrelevant. What matters is how many laughs are there going to be for the catpeople? The answer to that is…a bazillion, at least! Thanks Bravo!

But this isn’t really what she wanted! If she had her way she would have been married, before expiration, to an omgivygradtechfounder billionaire. Instead, she’s 31, on basic cable, right side of face clearly in view, looking all melty.

In Donkey’s mind, she is always “winning”. She will always be winning because she is delusional. Make no mistake, this show is not a win for her. It is a win for us. It will bring more people to this site and inoculate the viewing public against her vampiric personality and scams. It will bring many lulz, screengrabs, and memes (oxford comma? you better believe it!).

She didn’t get the show because she worked hard or has a great personality. She got it because she is a trainwreck and that is what sells on TV.

If it makes you feel better, this is certainly the nail in the coffin of her ever meeting a normal man and having that fairytale ending she’s been dreaming of since birth. Before this show, you would have had to work a bit to dig up the crazy about julia allison. After this show, there will be youtubes, plot synopses. perez hiltons, ontd’s, etc all over the web detailing her exploits.

I agree. Doing this show was her deal with the devil. It’ll bring her the attention and notoriety that she craves, but the moment she signed on to do it she signed away her chances at scoring a worthwhile dude. Define worthwhile as you will. Anyway, she won’t be able to take this back once it’s out there!

Won what? She sold what was left of her dignity, she’s ruined her face, she’s alone and she’s running on a hamster wheel. Look at the yahoos on Jersey Shore. They’ve been going on a for a lot longer then I’m sure was predicted but in a couple of years all of will be saying, “Snooki who?” And her child will get to see his/her mother’s cooka on constant replay. What does she have to look forward to? Sadly, this is heading into, “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” territory.

I totally get your point – but my opinion is this show is going to bring us so many lulz but ultimately be very unsuccessful. As someone mentioned, reality TV is saturated with trainwrecks – they can’t all get a piece of the pie.

And while she might get air time – I would think if there is a product to endorse (unless it’s prom dresses for the demented) the deal will go to Emily or Amy – but I don’t think it will even be that big – I think it will die off like NY Prep and that South Beach show they did.

It’s also not good news for a Donkey that Bravo has so much in development – that means there will lots and lots of product to replace her shitty show.

Yes. All those $$ is like vinegar being splashed in my eyes. I forgot about that. On the other hand, there are things in my life that seemed like a good idea when I was younger and now I am THRILLED there’s no trail. (well, nothing as in ‘the internet never forgets’, or taped… as far as I know). Since I don’t have that kind of money, I don’t know for how much I’d be able to justify selling my reputation, my body, my soul and be fine with it 20 years from now. I do know who I am now and who I was years ago is dramatically different and I can look my children in the eye and say that I never did drugs, never lied, never skipped school, never mouthed back to my parents, and never had any kind of life before they were born. No matter how cool or in-the-moment you were during your glory days, your kids will NOT be impressed. They will be embarrassed and mortified. In JAB’s case, I don’t think she’ll get married and have kids but I suspect Britt and Allie will. And I know from experience what trying to have to explain a whack-a-doodle aunt to kids is like. It’s icky by proxy.

Just re-read this and the part that needs to be emphasized is, “… and I can look my children in the eye and “say”…” You know, “SAY” as in there’s nothing I know of to incriminate me so I can deny, deny, deny.

well, you could be like that too if you did all the shit she did. It’s not hard; you have to have no morals and no real self-esteem to put yourself out there again and again, have no real friends, live a completely phony life and pretend everything is normal

Here’s the thing – here’s the thing! – on the “Jersey Shore”/”Miss Advised” comparison. The JS morons are kids – they’re getting paid by clubs for appearances and brands that are youth-oriented and the like. Their audience is made up of a bunch of idiots with too much disposable income and not enough sense. See, for example, the spate of “Jersey Shore” theme parties that erupted when the show first came out. They looked like they were having fun and kids who wanted to have fun wanted to emulate them, if only for a bit and in good fun. They got paid as a result.

Now, think about “Miss Advised.” What are the chances of Donks getting paid for a club appearance? Who wants to have a sad-ass spinster party? Who will want to emulate the busted-faced goon in a prom dress, even in fun?

You can rest assured that she will NOT be making fuck you money from this.

Yeah. Plus – while Donkey wants to be famous, she also wants respect. She wants to be seen as beautiful and smart successful. Deep down she knows that she’s settling for some cheap fame because it’s all she can get.

Lurker of about a year, de-lurking to ‘ditto’ this sentiment (and I guess get in before the influx of new catladies next fall?). Love this site and the daily lawls it provides me while at my desk errands! I feel like a fangirl of the catladies…and I like it.

Yes, same here! Actually, seeing all of the Bravo stuff finally being up made me “come out of the basement” to my catman, who had no idea of my JA hate. Because I want to be able to watch the show and snark on JA openly! Good lord, it looks so deliciously terribly.

I share all your excitement and she looks just as fucking demented and ridiculous in every clip as I imagined she would. However, I would like to point out that ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IS GOING TO WATCH THIS. With completely outrageous batshit insane lunatics on reality tv (Mob Wives anyone?)…and reality tv being ALL ABOUT knocking down the assholes/pointing and laughing/seeing how insane people can be, who in the FUCK is gonna care about three desperate nobodies trying to find a man? This show will last a few episodes and never be heard from again.

But I fucking LOVE how she will never be able to argue that we are all mean jealous haters again. AHAHAHAHA now we have a legitimate excuse for snarking – she’s trying SO HARD to be a real celeb. Good luck with that cease and desist shit Dadsers!!!! The dozens of people who watch this are gonna be automatic hater-converts. It’s delicious.

Doesn’t that mean little ferret-like one, Emily Morse, have a lot of followers on her blog & radio show? I imagine they all have some built-in viewers, so that’s quite a few more people learning what an ass Donkey is, besides the random rubberneckers.

I just still can’t see anyone watching this. I mean it is literally the most boring premise of any reality show I have ever seen. No? Yes. I can’t understand for a second how this got the green light. Even with the dregs of existence reality tv usually highlights.

I actually am pretty sensitive about italian stereotypes and I think it’s pretty disgusting that one of the ladies is the daughter of a psychopathic killer. Just…you should hide your head in shame not brag about your associations with murderers. And they just act like complete animals! I did watch the one where they get into a fistfight at that partya nd it was just like…wow. Otherwise I got sorta sick of their bickering. I can get that from calling my mother.

Wow. I actually have to give Donkey some credit. I totally didn’t think she would make it to the final product. Congratulations, Donkey, you didn’t end up on the cutting room floor. Instead you will just look like a fool in front of the whole world… or the tens of viewers this show will attract. Kudos.

Thanks! She’s a cowed-by-the-cats kinda sweetie w/ a penchant for squirrels & an ability to scale 8’ft fences, so I’ve been dreading the day that she might hang her collar on a fence post — I damn near shit my britches when it seemed that today was THAT day.

Basically trained & obedient, but no one ever thought to restrain her from ground level attacks … living & learning, we are.

I hope it leads to other reality shows! Donkey could finally monetize her untended psychosis villain-style like Amarosa. I personally would love to see Donkey on SURVIVOR (she already has down pat the wear-the-same-stinky-shit-for-seven-days gig) where her ass would get schooled on ‘play nice or GTFO’.

Before I read any of these comments, I want to say that I am sooo pissed off that I can’t watch the Bravo video. It won’t play on my iPad or iPhone, so I took my crippled ass down two flights of stairs to watch it on a laptop, but it wouldn’t play in Safari or IE there either. Has anyone copied it and uploaded it to YouTube?

I write about reality television and have been a cat lady for years (lurking, always lurking) and just told my editors I want on the JA beat. Most people don’t know the reality… but I will be on the frontlines for you.

Julia likely won’t care what I write about her because i stay away from weight snark (I will botox and extensions snark for all eternity, however). And as we’ve seen, all she cares about is whether or not people think she is fat.

Hmmm (just JFA’ing myself for a minute here). I wonder if I should request a special assignment at MY place of employment. On the grounds that I am uniquely qualified in Donkology, and that I have a following who might care to read my ditherings on the subject.

Me too! I feel like our little group will get too diluted with crazies, like what happened on GOMI. And you can always expect a couple of white knights to float in and it’s SO ANNOYING when that happens.

May I propose a viewing party? We can dress in our JA best and drink Franzia at one of Julia’s favorite restaurants (once she finds out what they are). I’ll even bring a notebook so everyone can account for how many sips of alcohol they drank over the course of the evening!

We’ll be living in L.A. by the time this atrocity airs, and I’m planning on throwing a come-as-your-favorite-RBD-character costume ball for the premiere. Have you ever fantasized about being MareMare Beach Hair? OMG Randi? Pancakes McCain? [Redacted 1 or 2]? Probably not, but why not live out your RBD nightmare? All La La Land catladies are invited!

Except when she was living in the assisted living condo and the home she shared in Coronado. She is such a liar liar pants on fire. What a fake! And the blinking with the three inch lashes is making a hurricane in the pacific ocean.

The show is gonnabe pathetisad, but thing I’m most irritated with us her list of 73 criteria for a husband. Bitch, if you ever get married, do you really think you’ll be meeting every wish and desire your mate ever dreamed of? I know I don’t- not that i don’t try to make him happy- but more that he accepts my flaws and I accept his. that’s why I feel lucky- my husband decided that even though I don’t like to sit at the movies as much as he does that I’m still worthy; even though he doesn’t run races with me I think he’s the tits.

This stuff isnt rocket science, but a donkey is just so formulaic, unrealistic, special snowflake, unloving, snobby, and oh-so-feminist. Pound salt, donk.

when I was 20, I wrote a 53 item list of must-haves for anyone I’d consider getting into a relationship with. now, at 30, I look over that list (online diary, the internet never forgets!) and while some of those things I still go “oh hell yes!” (20 year old me was after a ‘thick dick;’ 30 year old me still very much agrees), at this point I recognize the insanity of such a list and I would never put that list against anyone I meet today.

like most remotely-well-adjusted adults, over the past decade I’ve learned that no one is perfect, relationships are not about keeping score, and no person is ever going to fit into some ridiculous ideal. conversely, in the past decade, julia has just added more items to her list. yep, she may be on some reality show now. but she’ll never live up to her family’s expectations or fit in with their level of education or accomplishments (and she will always feel inadequate); she will never, ever have a real genuine relationship with anyone; she will never know the sense of satisfaction one gets from working a real job and contributing to something concrete and tangible; she will never know the feeling of accomplishment one gets from being a real adult and fully taking care of yourself; and even though she is shallow enough to fool herself into thinking that the ‘life’ she’s made for herself makes her happy, there will always be that niggling edge of discontent always there right beneath the surface, she will always have to keep searching for something MORE to chase away that feeling, she will continue to fuck up her face with needless surgeries, and she will never, ever be truly happy. I’d feel sorry for her if she wasn’t such a crappy person who is incapable of learning from her mistakes.

I’m marrying my dudecat very soon and I love him for all the things he is. I can’t tell you whether he meets any criteria I have/had outside of ‘funny’, ‘intelligent’, and ‘a good friend to people’ because this is people and relationships, not a fucking spreadsheet.

Here’s.The.Thing I find kind of amazing. Look at every Bravo show. They sell product, some are damn near advertorial. The Bravolebrities generally have their own careers or businesses or various side gigs. Bravo makes sense for them because no matter what, they aren’t relying on the Bravo paycheck to make their money. They are doing it for publicity because they have something to promote. Now if a Donkey were smart, which it has been proved multiple times she is not, she would have a book in the works set to come out. She thinks a book is “too hard” and a YouTube show is easier. But loser who can’t find a husband isn’t exactly an appealing platform to work from. Her goal is always to get as much with as little work as possible and this more than anything else is her fatal flaw.

I don’t think I can even watch it. I was pissed off at first she got a show, then pretty damn excited…now I just realize how fucking irritating and terrible she is and the internal hives I get any time I have to watch her animated for at least 3 seconds. I will probably attempt to watch the first episode, get bored and disgusted and wanna kick walls, and change the channel. I imagine that will be the typical response of the American public.