MIL refuses to get flu shot

I'm not usually too worried about illness, but this is my first winter baby and the germs are starting to freak me out. Everyone in the family has had a flu shot except MIL who is a teacher and gets everything from her students. She says she doesn't do flu shots. Am I wrong to be upset? What should we do? She will be all over this lo come January.

I'm not usually too worried about illness, but this is my first winter baby and the germs are starting to freak me out. Everyone in the family has had a flu shot except MIL who is a teacher and gets everything from her students. She says she doesn't do flu shots. Am I wrong to be upset? What should we do? She will be all over this lo come January.

At least everyone else has. I'm the only one who has got it. The DH plans on getting it in the next week buy that's it. His family(who we live near) doesn't ever get them. You can't force them to do it and believe me I would if I could.

At least everyone else has. I'm the only one who has got it. The DH plans on getting it in the next week buy that's it. His family(who we live near) doesn't ever get them. You can't force them to do it and believe me I would if I could.

Tell her you're setting your foot down, this is your child, and if anyone hasn't had a flu shot, they're not coming near your child. I'm going all kinds of crazy Momma Bear over the flu shot. I've told everyone I know who plans on coming by the house or hospital that if they don't have a shot, they don't come in. I'll be putting a sign on the front door that says the same thing. It's not worth the risk, no matter who I make mad. My DH had to have a talk with his dad about that and his Dad's heavy smoking. His dad isn't going to hold Conner smelling so strongly of smoke like he does. He'll have to get his clothes deep cleaned or new ones and not smoke in them for the 10 days he's here... I'm just not risking it. Maybe I'm a wench. Idk.

Tell her you're setting your foot down, this is your child, and if anyone hasn't had a flu shot, they're not coming near your child. I'm going all kinds of crazy Momma Bear over the flu shot. I've told everyone I know who plans on coming by the house or hospital that if they don't have a shot, they don't come in. I'll be putting a sign on the front door that says the same thing. It's not worth the risk, no matter who I make mad. My DH had to have a talk with his dad about that and his Dad's heavy smoking. His dad isn't going to hold Conner smelling so strongly of smoke like he does. He'll have to get his clothes deep cleaned or new ones and not smoke in them for the 10 days he's here... I'm just not risking it. Maybe I'm a wench. Idk.

You have a right to worry about your MIL being able to transmit the flu to your baby. However, ask yourself, will everyone that have contact with your baby get the flu shot? And how will you know for sure? Someone might lie and say they did, when they didn't. There's no way for you to tell. In other words, unless you're planning to keep your kid locked up at home with only a few ppl around him/her, it may be fruitless to worry and/or make a big deal about it. After all, you can't force your mil to take the flu shot. So are you planning on not allowing her to visit your LO, if she doesn't?

You have a right to worry about your MIL being able to transmit the flu to your baby. However, ask yourself, will everyone that have contact with your baby get the flu shot? And how will you know for sure? Someone might lie and say they did, when they didn't. There's no way for you to tell. In other words, unless you're planning to keep your kid locked up at home with only a few ppl around him/her, it may be fruitless to worry and/or make a big deal about it. After all, you can't force your mil to take the flu shot. So are you planning on not allowing her to visit your LO, if she doesn't?

The flu shot doesn't guarantee protection from the flu. It's just a best guess at what flu virus may be going around during the current flu season. So everyone that comes near lo could have a flu shot and your lo could still get the flu. If your worried just make sure everyone washes their hands before touching lo, that will help protect lo probably even better than the shot. Besides if you got the flu shot while pregnant then your lo got the shot too and is protected as much as everyone else for the first 6 months.

The flu shot doesn't guarantee protection from the flu. It's just a best guess at what flu virus may be going around during the current flu season. So everyone that comes near lo could have a flu shot and your lo could still get the flu. If your worried just make sure everyone washes their hands before touching lo, that will help protect lo probably even better than the shot. Besides if you got the flu shot while pregnant then your lo got the shot too and is protected as much as everyone else for the first 6 months.

You can't make anybody get a flu shot just because you think is safe, I never got the flu shot before and didn't got the flu either, your mil has the right to decide if she wants to get it or not, sorry, it's everybody individual choice.

You can't make anybody get a flu shot just because you think is safe, I never got the flu shot before and didn't got the flu either, your mil has the right to decide if she wants to get it or not, sorry, it's everybody individual choice.

So are you also going to ask for documentation? Because its simply a matter of the person saying "Yeah. I've had the shot." and maybe they never did. If you're going as overboard as you claim (sign outside and everything), you might as well ask for everyone's paperwork-since you're being too personal anyway.

To the OP: Here's my advice. You can't make anyone get a Flu Shot. However, you can make sure that people wo visit your little one are not sick, wash their hands thoroughly, etc...My son was a preemie, brought home in the peak of Flu Season. I didn't go ape-crap crazy about only letting vaccinated people around him. I simply followed strict hand-washing and general health rules. If someone was coughing or sniffling, they'd have to wait to visit. Before anyone could hold him, they'd need to wash their hands and sanitize first, and no school-age kids (germ factories) were allowed to hold. I suggest implementing a similar set of rules rather than expecting people to succumb to your views on vaccinations.

So are you also going to ask for documentation? Because its simply a matter of the person saying "Yeah. I've had the shot." and maybe they never did. If you're going as overboard as you claim (sign outside and everything), you might as well ask for everyone's paperwork-since you're being too personal anyway.

To the OP: Here's my advice. You can't make anyone get a Flu Shot. However, you can make sure that people wo visit your little one are not sick, wash their hands thoroughly, etc...My son was a preemie, brought home in the peak of Flu Season. I didn't go ape-crap crazy about only letting vaccinated people around him. I simply followed strict hand-washing and general health rules. If someone was coughing or sniffling, they'd have to wait to visit. Before anyone could hold him, they'd need to wash their hands and sanitize first, and no school-age kids (germ factories) were allowed to hold. I suggest implementing a similar set of rules rather than expecting people to succumb to your views on vaccinations.

I'd tell her that you are asking everyone who will come in contact w the baby to get it. Tell her you understand her concerns but you want what's best for your baby. Explain to her that if it was summer time you wouldn't be so worried but LO is due at the height of flu season and you would really appreciate it. HTH

I'd tell her that you are asking everyone who will come in contact w the baby to get it. Tell her you understand her concerns but you want what's best for your baby. Explain to her that if it was summer time you wouldn't be so worried but LO is due at the height of flu season and you would really appreciate it. HTH

I am the pregnant person and I'm a preschool teacher and I am NOT getting the flu shot. Don't put too much score in those things, they will not keep your baby healthy. There will still be germs, just maybe not the flu. I did get a whooping cough shot for me and DH, but aren't forcing relatives... Shots are a very personal thing and honestly.... Unless you are going to keep the baby in a dark hole by itself... You can't avoid germs! AND there have been hundreds of studies done about how our insistence on avoiding germs is actually the driving force behind the allergy and asthma hikes in kids!

I am the pregnant person and I'm a preschool teacher and I am NOT getting the flu shot. Don't put too much score in those things, they will not keep your baby healthy. There will still be germs, just maybe not the flu. I did get a whooping cough shot for me and DH, but aren't forcing relatives... Shots are a very personal thing and honestly.... Unless you are going to keep the baby in a dark hole by itself... You can't avoid germs! AND there have been hundreds of studies done about how our insistence on avoiding germs is actually the driving force behind the allergy and asthma hikes in kids!

How old is your MIL? The older generation isn't affected by H1N1 since they were exposed to a similar strain many years ago. If she's over 65 it's less likely that she will need it.The other strains of flu aren't nearly as scary. The only reason I made everyone get one this year, and last, was the H1N1. On of my daughter's friends lost her father in Feb from H1N1. He was 34 years old. But my parents are older and didn't get the H1N1, just the seasonal.

How old is your MIL? The older generation isn't affected by H1N1 since they were exposed to a similar strain many years ago. If she's over 65 it's less likely that she will need it.The other strains of flu aren't nearly as scary. The only reason I made everyone get one this year, and last, was the H1N1. On of my daughter's friends lost her father in Feb from H1N1. He was 34 years old. But my parents are older and didn't get the H1N1, just the seasonal.

I agree with pp, strict hand washing is your best defense. The flu shot is not a guarantee and does not prevent someone who has been vaccinated from transmitting it via dirty hands to someone else... like your baby. I know it's nerve racking, just use common sense and all will be ok:)

I agree with pp, strict hand washing is your best defense. The flu shot is not a guarantee and does not prevent someone who has been vaccinated from transmitting it via dirty hands to someone else... like your baby. I know it's nerve racking, just use common sense and all will be ok:)

There are also concerns in general for getting the flu shot. The first one I ever got was last year because I had 2 nieces and 1 nephew born between oct-dec. I got one this year after researching and talking to my midwife it took a lot of coaxing. The reason I worry about taking it is because some people are allergic to the shot. One of my mom's best friends ended up in the hospital last year because of the shot. I think it's best to leave the decision to get a shot up to her and I agree with the others to just tell people to wash their hands or use hand sanitizer before holding or touching the baby. And don't let them visit if they are sick.

There are also concerns in general for getting the flu shot. The first one I ever got was last year because I had 2 nieces and 1 nephew born between oct-dec. I got one this year after researching and talking to my midwife it took a lot of coaxing. The reason I worry about taking it is because some people are allergic to the shot. One of my mom's best friends ended up in the hospital last year because of the shot. I think it's best to leave the decision to get a shot up to her and I agree with the others to just tell people to wash their hands or use hand sanitizer before holding or touching the baby. And don't let them visit if they are sick.

There are also concerns in general for getting the flu shot. The first one I ever got was last year because I had 2 nieces and 1 nephew born between oct-dec. I got one this year after researching and talking to my midwife it took a lot of coaxing. The reason I worry about taking it is because some people are allergic to the shot. One of my mom's best friends ended up in the hospital last year because of the shot. I think it's best to leave the decision to get a shot up to her and I agree with the others to just tell people to wash their hands or use hand sanitizer before holding or touching the baby. And don't let them visit if they are sick.

There are also concerns in general for getting the flu shot. The first one I ever got was last year because I had 2 nieces and 1 nephew born between oct-dec. I got one this year after researching and talking to my midwife it took a lot of coaxing. The reason I worry about taking it is because some people are allergic to the shot. One of my mom's best friends ended up in the hospital last year because of the shot. I think it's best to leave the decision to get a shot up to her and I agree with the others to just tell people to wash their hands or use hand sanitizer before holding or touching the baby. And don't let them visit if they are sick.

This is how exactly I feel. You can't force everyone that will be in contact with LO to get the shot or vaccine. I asked my DBF if he was planning on getting the flu shot and his plans is that he won't. He has some reasons why he won't get the flu shot or any type of vaccine. It's his decision, his choice and I'm going to respect that. I'm making it a rule with everyone that if you are sick or becoming sick...please don't come by and visit till it's out of your system.

This is how exactly I feel. You can't force everyone that will be in contact with LO to get the shot or vaccine. I asked my DBF if he was planning on getting the flu shot and his plans is that he won't. He has some reasons why he won't get the flu shot or any type of vaccine. It's his decision, his choice and I'm going to respect that. I'm making it a rule with everyone that if you are sick or becoming sick...please don't come by and visit till it's out of your system.

I agree with the pp about baby being protected for the first 6 months if mom gets the flu shot. It does drive me a bit nutty because my MIL gets pneumonia every year real bad and seems to always be sick. So I've decided to tell a little white lie and say that my dr mentioned that anyone who has chronic illnesses needs to get vaccinated. I have decided to put my foot down about that because I am convinced my dd1 got severely sick from her last year.

I agree with the pp about baby being protected for the first 6 months if mom gets the flu shot. It does drive me a bit nutty because my MIL gets pneumonia every year real bad and seems to always be sick. So I've decided to tell a little white lie and say that my dr mentioned that anyone who has chronic illnesses needs to get vaccinated. I have decided to put my foot down about that because I am convinced my dd1 got severely sick from her last year.

I'm against the flu shoot personally because it weakens your immune system among other things so I understand where she's coming from but obviously she's not going to be coming around when she's ill! So that's her decision. If she gets the flu because she didn't get the flu shoot she's the one who'll be missing out.

I'm against the flu shoot personally because it weakens your immune system among other things so I understand where she's coming from but obviously she's not going to be coming around when she's ill! So that's her decision. If she gets the flu because she didn't get the flu shoot she's the one who'll be missing out.

Try not to stress over it.. As long as she's not experiencing any symptoms, you should be fine.. I'm not asking everyone that'll be around my son to get a flu shot & I'm sure (like my other 2), he'll be just fine.. I'm also a teacher & yes, exposed to hundreds of germs, but rarely am I ever sick.. Just have her wash her hands before touching your baby.. Everyone has a choice & I'm not getting the flu shot, neither are my kids..

Try not to stress over it.. As long as she's not experiencing any symptoms, you should be fine.. I'm not asking everyone that'll be around my son to get a flu shot & I'm sure (like my other 2), he'll be just fine.. I'm also a teacher & yes, exposed to hundreds of germs, but rarely am I ever sick.. Just have her wash her hands before touching your baby.. Everyone has a choice & I'm not getting the flu shot, neither are my kids..

I do not believe in the flu shot, although my OB gave me a total guilt trip about how I could die and stuff. I am freaked out about the whooping cough going around right now and am making all my relatives that plan on being around the baby i.e. my mom, my dad, and DH get that shot. Only person who refuses is my mom and she works at a HS, I am trying to guilt trip her, but I know its impossible to make someone who doesn't believe in these kind of vaccines do anything about it. Good luck!!!

I do not believe in the flu shot, although my OB gave me a total guilt trip about how I could die and stuff. I am freaked out about the whooping cough going around right now and am making all my relatives that plan on being around the baby i.e. my mom, my dad, and DH get that shot. Only person who refuses is my mom and she works at a HS, I am trying to guilt trip her, but I know its impossible to make someone who doesn't believe in these kind of vaccines do anything about it. Good luck!!!

I don't think you should force the issue. As other posters mentioned, the best protection against any illness is hand washing. I have not gotten the flu shot this year, nor will I ever get one, and if someone told me I "had to," well, it just wouldn't work for me. Are you going to make sure everyone has the whooping cough vaccine too? Will you be checking shot records at the door?

I'm not trying to be rude, and I understand that this is your child and you want to protect him/her. Perhaps explain your reasoning to your mother-in-law, then leave it up to her.

I don't think you should force the issue. As other posters mentioned, the best protection against any illness is hand washing. I have not gotten the flu shot this year, nor will I ever get one, and if someone told me I "had to," well, it just wouldn't work for me. Are you going to make sure everyone has the whooping cough vaccine too? Will you be checking shot records at the door?

I'm not trying to be rude, and I understand that this is your child and you want to protect him/her. Perhaps explain your reasoning to your mother-in-law, then leave it up to her.

babynumbertwoscoming - I can completely relate to this. We have asked everyone to have their flu and whooping cough shots if they want to come and see her and some of the family is not happy about it but I think you totally need to do what you think is right no matter what others may say. I'm sure I'll catch flack for saying that but in my opinion I am not telling people what to do. This is my baby and its my duty to protect her and to do what I think is best. If they don't get it then no biggie, they just can't come until she is a bit older... its that simple. She is due in Feb at the height of flu season and a whooping cough outbreak is expected this year too so I don't want to take any chances. We are military and live far from home so the people coming to see her will have to travel a long way to get here and that does allow me to control who is around her very easily, so that is not an issue. I am not a crazy germ-a-phobe and I know she needs to be exposed to different things, but not those things and not in the first few months. I had the flu a few years ago... I was sick for 9 days and thought I was going to die. It was so bad that the doc gave me vicodin to try and deal with the pain and I know that an elderly person or baby may not have made it through so I don't care what others say or if our wishes piss someone off. I'm not making the decision based on other people, I'm making it for the baby.

babynumbertwoscoming - I can completely relate to this. We have asked everyone to have their flu and whooping cough shots if they want to come and see her and some of the family is not happy about it but I think you totally need to do what you think is right no matter what others may say. I'm sure I'll catch flack for saying that but in my opinion I am not telling people what to do. This is my baby and its my duty to protect her and to do what I think is best. If they don't get it then no biggie, they just can't come until she is a bit older... its that simple. She is due in Feb at the height of flu season and a whooping cough outbreak is expected this year too so I don't want to take any chances. We are military and live far from home so the people coming to see her will have to travel a long way to get here and that does allow me to control who is around her very easily, so that is not an issue. I am not a crazy germ-a-phobe and I know she needs to be exposed to different things, but not those things and not in the first few months. I had the flu a few years ago... I was sick for 9 days and thought I was going to die. It was so bad that the doc gave me vicodin to try and deal with the pain and I know that an elderly person or baby may not have made it through so I don't care what others say or if our wishes piss someone off. I'm not making the decision based on other people, I'm making it for the baby.

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