Sex Humor Porn Stories

Page 18

When David and I moved from the city to far out in the country, his fears of me being alone on those nights he had to work late, or the times he had to travel began to make him feel uneasy about our decision to move. He tried to get me to agree to a purchase of a gun, and for me to take shooting lessons, but that was entirely out of the question. Still his fears lingered and he did convince me to allow him to get a dog for my protection.

The first place we checked out was the a****l shelter. I figured if we were going to get a dog, why not save one from being put to sl**p. David was quick t... Continue»

(This story about a man saving a girl's life and that girl repaying him seven years later after reconnecting with him.
Not: This is not a taboo story.)

It was seven years ago..

Seven long years on an oddly cold summer night. If you asked me to remember everything about that night, I'd be at a loss, but the one thing I will remember. It was the night I met her. I was walking on a bridge over looking the lake down below. I remember thinking to myself, "Why put a side-walk on this long ass bridge? No one except my dumb-ass would walk it!" It was also that same night I had my final fight wi... Continue»

Whether you've looked at my screen name or read my other posts, you know that I absolutely love a full bush. When I studied in Europe in the late-90's, I was no different. I remember in Switzerland meeting a 22 year old girl, Anya, at a club. She had a very cute face and a tall and curvy body. Shapely breasts with wide hips and a nice juicy ass to match. She was wearing a blouse with those sorts of sleeves that are more like fans or cut flaps so you can easily see her shoulders and underarms if you were looking. And I was looking. She had dark hair and through these fan sleeves (or whatever th... Continue»

I previously blogged this on this site, but it wasn't long enough to allow for a 'story.' So I'm adding some funny dialogue that I found in my journal at the time of this awesome tryst, not present in the original blog entry. When I was in college in the md-late 1990's, I bought a vintage porn flick on DVD called Bel Amie (1976). It starred Harry Reems (of Deep Throat fame) and featured a very hot scene with Reems and a gorgeous African actress (whose role was a sort of Nubian Princess). She fucks Reems and it was obviously a genuinely good lay because it ends with her riding him, she pops of... Continue»

I had a phone call from my agency saying a customer wanted to book me for a glamour / topless photo shoot and he had booked me for an hour.
The pay was good and as it was a Sunday it wouldn’t interfere with my work, I told them I would do it and was given the details, I was to go to a engineering company the following Sunday at 2 pm.
It did appear to be a bit strange but I set off on my own with a bag of clothes, my boyfriend was playing football so could not drive me for once.
I turned up at the company on an industrial estate and rang the security door; a guy answered and showed me in.
... Continue»

This may seem far-fetched, but I had the unique opportunity of putting a pet theory to the test. When I was a teenager and in college I often thought that given enough (or even a little) time I could ejaculate just by going down on a woman, assuming her vagina was attractive enough. And, let's face it, as a lifelong pussy lover, there have been very few vaginas that I didn't find aesthetically pleasing. Of course, invariably performing cunnilingus typically resulted in 69-ing, intercourse, or at least a token handjob. So the opportunity to test this theory was always (happily) interrupted ... Continue»

"Now where did she hide those damn candlesticks?" Rachel asked herself.

Chandler was moving in with Monica, and that meant that Rachel was moving out. She was very happy for them, even though she and Monica had been passively fighting over a pair of candlesticks that each girl thought she owned. Rachel was alone in the apartment so she decided to do a little searching. She went into Monica's room and quietly began looking through some boxes in her closet.

Near the bottom of one box, she found a book. It had a small flimsy lock and the words across ... Continue»

To start off with, I better paint you all with a good mental image of this girl. Her name is Sarah, and she is a total babe. She was a short girl with long wavy brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes, and the pinkest little pink lips. Her body was incredible, such perfect silky smooth pale skin. She had such petite little breasts, a slim waist, and a booty of a Latino woman.

So it all started with Sarah breaking up with her boyfriend. I decided to take her out clubbing to take her mind off things. We have always been close, but always totally platonic. So I never could have imagined that night e... Continue»

Being far apart from my girlfriend means that we usually leave Skype on constantly. If our ISPs charged us for gigabytes used, we'd be fucked... luckily that's not a problem. Part of being in a long distance relationship is finding ways to spend time together, and in this way, we make it work.

Being on mic and camera for long periods of time can lead to various levels of intimacy. This can be as innocent as a kiss or as naughty as both of us imagining that we're fucking each other until the two of us cum. Somewhere in between are the long hours we sl**p together with camera and mic runnin... Continue»

I have a funny, and frankly, hot, story from spring break 1996 when I went to Jamaica with my friends in college. There, I met a fellow spring breaker named Jamie who was a bit of a hippychick complete with cornrows (that she had done in Jamaica as many tourists are apt to do). Our evening consisted of an all-night toking and 69 session in her hotel room. The air was so dense with weed smoke that I really couldn't smell her otherwise musky pussy. However, I was kind of on the look-out because when I started taking off her panties to lick her pussy she actually said, "Umm, I just want to warn '... Continue»

My life changed on a Friday, just after I'd turned eighteen and recently moved into a new life. That's how I liked to think of it. After leaving the modest village where I'd grown up, I'd moved to the modest town where I'd be attending community college. I wanted to be a graphic artist or something, I wasn't really sure, but I liked art and I was kind of good at it anyway. So those were the kind of classes I took while I worked part-time at Sears, dressing mannequins and putting up decorations and displays, stuff like that.

It wasn't a bad job, even if it only paid for my rent and just enou... Continue»

I didn't know what to expect. If he would bite me or simply smell my raw, uncovered sex and satisfy his curiosity. Whatever he would do, I knew I couldn't stop him. I felt helpless. The entire episode had happened so quickly that I felt overwhelmed by it. Everything between opening the bathroom door for the dog and finally surrendering as I opened my legs seemed like a blur. It had only taken a few seconds, half a minute perhaps, and I found myself completely dominated by the a****l somehow.

After the surprise hummer from the Orange Julius girl. I entered the toy slinger on the upper level of the mall and decided to get the fuck out of there as quick as possible. I hit the doll aisle for the girl gift and didn't expect to see that there were so many options. I thought my "mother fucker" was spoken soft. but an employee came around the corner and said, "excuse me sir, there are c***dren present". I ignored them until they asked if they could help me. After mentioning that I was doing the "Toy's 4 Tots" thing, the clerk changed his entire attitude towards ... Continue»

I got a phone call from my agency asking me if i wanted a kissogram job this coming Friday night, it was to be a double job with a guy and we were supposed to be Tarzan & Jane. I rang my boyfriend who told be to go for it so I rang them back to say I would do it.
I was working till 9 on Friday and we were booked at a local working men's club for 9.30 so they arranged for the guy that was to be Tarzan to pick me up from work and bring my costume.
Friday came and I left work and was collected by a really hunky guy in a nice car, , he told me he was Mark and that he was a model, he explained t... Continue»

Geordie Ridley let himself into his 'daughters' house at 0700, the same as he did most mornings when Lesley was working an early shift. She used to drop them off but now, with the boys being older, it was easier too come to them. They were at an age where all their entertainment was on-line gaming, and Geordie didn't have internet.....also,, they liked their bed.

He shouted upstairs, but no one replied. He shouted again....same result. Thinking she must have slept in, he climbed the stairs with the intention of knocking on her door. He was just turning onto the landing when he saw the ba... Continue»

It wasn't my birthday sadly. It was my ex girlfriends little b*****r. He had just turned 18 and I decided to take him to the strip club. I was waiting for him to get ready and during this time I got to catch up with the mother in law. We barely talked now that the ex and I split.

It was the usual how are you things like that. She took it to an entirely different route this time. She asked why I was still single and such. She kept caressing me and feeling my muscles. She was suppose to go out with her girlfriends since she had nothing else to do. Daughter sl**ping at her new boyfriends and s... Continue»

It had become a long day. My body was aching and my feet were sore from heels the whole day. I finally got to sit down and relax behind my desk before I left for home.

I slowly slipped my heels off, one by one, then slowly stretching my leg, one at a time, into the air and flexing it. The pantihose I had on made it feel so smooth and sexy. It was worth dressing up a little more sexily today. The consultant I had the meeting with was also very sexy. He had a beautiful face, luminous light green eyes, dark brown hair and beautiful lips. My finger would love to trace them.

Me and my boyfriend have been in our sexual relationship for the past 8 months and I need to know what his problem is .i wanna make sure that he is not using me for intimate pleasures when ever he is in need.

At the beginning of our relationship I never cared much for such pleasures because it never was sex actually he just used to rub his hands all over my body and squeeze my chest and my c0*k very hard until I get excited about do the same for his and then we used to mutually masturbate each other but I did it till he came but he would stop it when my precum touches his hand.

Let me explain. My father is a successful and popular Doctor in a smallish mid west town. I am studying computer science at the local College where I am singularly unsuccessful with the girls. I have had lots of sex; however, it would be nice to do it with another person one day. I am about five feet six and as a result of a bone disorder when I was young, have one leg very slightly shorter than the other. It does not bother me; however, it meant that I could never be any kind of an athlete, although it has been suggested that I could try swimming. Have you seen some of those swimmers? Six foo... Continue»