BLACK HISTORY MONTH FACTS
BY
JOSHUA PROCTOR
Happy Black History Month everyone or as Memphis calls it hunting season. Here are some fun black history facts:
1. LeVar Burton became the first slave to be a member of a space team and he also reads to gay kids or something
2. Rick Fox became the first player ever to win the MVP of the NBA Finals and The Stanley Cup
3. Barack Obama became the first ever ex-terrorist to win a second term as president
4. Tyler Perry single-handedly ruins TBS's Tuesday night line-up
5. Jovan Belcher was undefeated at Russian Roulette for 4 years
6. Louis Armstrong won the Tour de France 7 times and is the Livestrong founder (I am 87% sure this is right)
7. Halle Berry had to suck off both Wolverine and Danny Zuko to get her role in the smash hit Swordfish
8. Ray Charles was in the movie Booty Call
9. Michael Jackson is the first person ever to bang Macaulay Culkin while watching Home Alone ( 2. Daniel Stern)
10. Soulja Boy is named Greatest Person Ever by Time Magazine
11. Michael Vick sucks
12. Eminem won a Oscar for the 8 Mile Soundtrack
13. J-Kwon's Greatest Hits album goes septuple platinum
14. BET breaks the world record by showing the show Martin for 68 hours straight (Previous record 23mins)
15. Bernie Mac goes out on top by being in the movie Old Dogs
16. Ray Charles was on the show In Living Color
17. Rodney King becomes the first human tester for nightsticks
18. Kanye West got his ass kicked by Taylor Swift
19. The Black Rook is like the best piece in chess
20. The Black Eye Peas sets the music industry back 17 years
21. Lisa Turtle gets gang-banged by The Bayside Tigers baseball team
22. Barry Bonds breaks the home run record and things shot in ass record in the same season
23. Eddie Murphy is responsible for over 400 suicides after releasing the movie A Thousand Words
24. R. Kelly pees on Tweety Bird during the making of Space Jam
25. The Meteor Man sweeps the 1993 Oscars
26. Ray Charles was in the movie Any Given Sunday
27. Muhammad Ali shows up Michael J. Fox
28. Scary Spice has a dick
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