I'm a bisexual woman, married (to a monogamous man.) I find it extremely challenging to meet women willing to engage with me on an emotional level.

I would absolutely date one or more members of a lesbian couple. In fact I had a flirtation with a lesbian couple here in my town that seemed promising, but lately they have so much drama between them I don't think they're in a place to consider polyamory.

I'm learning that one of the challenges of being married but dating is that dating becomes not just about finding a person you're attracted to and compatible with, but about finding a person open to the kind of relationship you're available for. For example, I already have a long-term "primary" commitment, so I would not be available for the sort of live-in triad you ultimately dream of. So would you date someone like me, or would you hold out for someone who doesn't already have a life partner and has a better chance of fulfilling your desires?

I've been wondering lately about where my personal line falls between "having unreasonable expectations" and "lowering my standards." For example, if I can't find a woman, married or otherwise, willing to be the girlfriend of a married woman, should I try out some of those girls on OKCupid who will only do it with me if their boyfriend watches? What about women who say they just want a "friends with benefits?" Could I be satisfied with that?

Some schools of thought say you should just let relationships evolve into whatever they're meant to be without any expectations as to a certain outcome, but then others say you won't get the relationship(s) you're looking for if you settle for less than your desires. I lean toward the second school of thought, personally, and at this point in my life.