College decision brings excitement and angst

Published: Saturday, May 3, 2014 at 12:30 a.m.

Last Modified: Friday, May 2, 2014 at 2:52 p.m.

What we dubbed the Great Killebrew College Trip Extravaganza came to an end a week ago. In a 12-day period, we visited three colleges in three different parts of the country so our older son could make an informed decision on where to attend next year. We utilized planes, trains and automobiles. And it about wore us out.

After a while, the information we were hearing at the different colleges started to sound like the adults on Peanuts cartoons: "wah wah wah." We experienced some unique happenings, like having to evacuate a dining hall when the fire alarm went off. We enjoyed a wonderful performance of student acts at another university.

High school seniors who plan to attend college approach the application process in different ways. Some know exactly which school they plan to attend and may apply only to that one. Others, like our son, don't have a front-runner and instead apply to multiple schools. This provides more options but can also add to the stress when it comes time to decide.

In our son's case, he narrowed it down to two universities, which were the last pair we visited. When he applied, he didn't think he'd be accepted to these two, so we decided we'd only visit if he was admitted. That left us scrambling to do just that once he received the good news. The fact their admitted students events overlapped by a day only made things more complicated.

The deadline to accept the offer was Thursday, and our son waited until Wednesday before finally making his pick. He called it the most difficult decision he's had to make in his young life. We all experienced a sense of relief once the choice was made, even if it did mean he'll attend college far from Lexington.

We learned some lessons during the process, which I wanted to share with parents who have juniors now who will go through this process next year:

• Explore schools online. This allows students the opportunity to narrow their list of possibilities without having to actually visit.

• Visit nearby schools this summer or in the fall. That will make it easier should you have to make last-minute visits next April as we did. Students who don't plan to attend a four-year university have an excellent option right here at Davidson County Community College.

• Dream big. Apply to schools that may seem a stretch. You never know which ones will extend an offer of admission.

• Don't let costs be a deterrent. We discovered that many colleges offer generous financial aid packages. Cost is obviously a major factor in where a student attends, but a high price tag can be reduced drastically.

• Beware the financial aid forms. One almost needs an advanced degree to fill them out. My wife consolidated several retirement accounts into one last year, and some colleges treated it as income rather than retirement funds. Thankfully, once we figured out what happened, the financial aid folks refigured our package.

• Resist the temptation to lock into a certain school until all offers have been received. We probably wouldn't have visited one university if we had known a couple of others would extend offers of admission.

• Don't buy too much merchandise from one school until the student makes a final decision. I will soon be in search of a new key ring, since the one I purchased on our trip ended up not being from the college my son will attend.

• Embrace the experience. Enjoy spending time with family members exploring different colleges.

• Let the student make the choice. Several legitimate factors come into play here, especially the cost. But ultimately the student needs to pick the school that offers the best fit. That may not be the parents' preference in some cases.

• Be ready to let go. Several of the sessions at the schools we visited addressed this issue. We certainly witnessed some "helicopter parents" hovering over their children at these events. But ultimately, a parent's role is to prepare a child to leave home and live independently. College provides the big first step.

The college decision will play a major role in how the next four or five years of a young person's life play out. Many people fondly recall their college years, a time of freedom and relatively little responsibility that soon gives way to the sometimes challenging realities of jobs, families and other commitments. Students should commit to living in the moment and enjoy that time.

And one final tip: Celebrate once the decision is made. We enjoyed dinner at a barbecue restaurant Wednesday after our son announced his intention. Now we'll enjoy these last four months with him and prepare to send him off to college in September.

Chad Killebrew is executive editor of The Dispatch. He can be reached at 249-3981, ext. 215, or at chad.killebrew@the-dispatch.com.

<p>What we dubbed the Great Killebrew College Trip Extravaganza came to an end a week ago. In a 12-day period, we visited three colleges in three different parts of the country so our older son could make an informed decision on where to attend next year. We utilized planes, trains and automobiles. And it about wore us out.</p><p>After a while, the information we were hearing at the different colleges started to sound like the adults on Peanuts cartoons: "wah wah wah." We experienced some unique happenings, like having to evacuate a dining hall when the fire alarm went off. We enjoyed a wonderful performance of student acts at another university.</p><p>High school seniors who plan to attend college approach the application process in different ways. Some know exactly which school they plan to attend and may apply only to that one. Others, like our son, don't have a front-runner and instead apply to multiple schools. This provides more options but can also add to the stress when it comes time to decide.</p><p>In our son's case, he narrowed it down to two universities, which were the last pair we visited. When he applied, he didn't think he'd be accepted to these two, so we decided we'd only visit if he was admitted. That left us scrambling to do just that once he received the good news. The fact their admitted students events overlapped by a day only made things more complicated.</p><p>The deadline to accept the offer was Thursday, and our son waited until Wednesday before finally making his pick. He called it the most difficult decision he's had to make in his young life. We all experienced a sense of relief once the choice was made, even if it did mean he'll attend college far from Lexington.</p><p>We learned some lessons during the process, which I wanted to share with parents who have juniors now who will go through this process next year:</p><p>• Explore schools online. This allows students the opportunity to narrow their list of possibilities without having to actually visit.</p><p>• Visit nearby schools this summer or in the fall. That will make it easier should you have to make last-minute visits next April as we did. Students who don't plan to attend a four-year university have an excellent option right here at Davidson County Community College.</p><p>• Dream big. Apply to schools that may seem a stretch. You never know which ones will extend an offer of admission.</p><p>• Don't let costs be a deterrent. We discovered that many colleges offer generous financial aid packages. Cost is obviously a major factor in where a student attends, but a high price tag can be reduced drastically.</p><p>• Beware the financial aid forms. One almost needs an advanced degree to fill them out. My wife consolidated several retirement accounts into one last year, and some colleges treated it as income rather than retirement funds. Thankfully, once we figured out what happened, the financial aid folks refigured our package.</p><p>• Resist the temptation to lock into a certain school until all offers have been received. We probably wouldn't have visited one university if we had known a couple of others would extend offers of admission.</p><p>• Don't buy too much merchandise from one school until the student makes a final decision. I will soon be in search of a new key ring, since the one I purchased on our trip ended up not being from the college my son will attend.</p><p>• Embrace the experience. Enjoy spending time with family members exploring different colleges.</p><p>• Let the student make the choice. Several legitimate factors come into play here, especially the cost. But ultimately the student needs to pick the school that offers the best fit. That may not be the parents' preference in some cases.</p><p>• Be ready to let go. Several of the sessions at the schools we visited addressed this issue. We certainly witnessed some "helicopter parents" hovering over their children at these events. But ultimately, a parent's role is to prepare a child to leave home and live independently. College provides the big first step.</p><p>The college decision will play a major role in how the next four or five years of a young person's life play out. Many people fondly recall their college years, a time of freedom and relatively little responsibility that soon gives way to the sometimes challenging realities of jobs, families and other commitments. Students should commit to living in the moment and enjoy that time.</p><p>And one final tip: Celebrate once the decision is made. We enjoyed dinner at a barbecue restaurant Wednesday after our son announced his intention. Now we'll enjoy these last four months with him and prepare to send him off to college in September.</p><p>Chad Killebrew is executive editor of The Dispatch. He can be reached at 249-3981, ext. 215, or at chad.killebrew@the-dispatch.com.</p>