Growing up as one of those statistics, and with other consequences of being nearly fatherless for most of my childhood, let me just say that I hated it, and began working at 15 in order not to live that life any longer. At many times in my life, I've had 2 jobs in order to keep myself afloat. I HAVE lived completely on bean soup and crackers at times in my life but that's just the way it was.
At 55 years of age now, I've never ever collected unemployment or any type of government assistance.
Glad to say I was able to raise my 2 children in a stable 2 parent home. I made sure they got the childhood I always wanted.
There is no rule that says you have to perpetuate what you've already experienced.

TO ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO TELL ME THAT I THINK I KNOW IT ALL. I DO IN THIS CASE:

I am an expert on this subject. In my own mind at least. Because families pray together does not mean they stay together. Some families that stayed together have caused absolute "mental death" to their children that will go on for generations. Some families that divorced should have stayed together.

I am the product of a broken home. My Mother had two husbands and therefore; two batches of children. When I think back to my childhood days I can compare real facts. Some children had parents that never divorced. These children, in the majority of cases, have also continued to remain married to their original spouse. So divorces begat divorces, I agree with that fact. But is "staying together..no matter what" a good philosophy? Not always.

I have had a chance to talk to some of these children of "both original parents" after the fact. In some cases they had good, positive, loving, religious childhoods. NOT MANY. JUST SOME.

I have gathered this info over several years from friends and relatives. I would see old childhood friends and say, "I remember when we were small, I was so jealous because you had a Daddy. You will not believe the horrific stories some of these people have told me. Boys and girls who were raped by their Daddy. Mothers who knew it was going on, but allowed it to happen and told the children to "Never tell anyone." They do tell after the parents die. They hate their parents by then but cannot forgive themselves for hating them because the Bible says, Honor your Father and Mother.

Others tell me about being cursed, beaten, (especially by Step-Parents), insulted, slapped etc. It infuriates me to think about it.

Some who I thought, lived in castles in the sky, suffered childhoods of Hell. One first cousin told me that his Dad would wake him out of sleep at night to beat him when he was a child. The worst that I have suffered from my parents, was watching them fuss and fight. In retrospect, my Mother started as many as my Daddy did, and was actually strong enough to win most of the fights. Maybe that is why he left. From that point on, I had a very good childhood because my brother, Jim Tolley, gave his childhood away for my sister, Gail, and me. He was seven years old at the time. He is the best influence I have ever had EVER in my entire life. He has never given me bad advice. He took a broken little, scared three year old girl and turned me into a person with self-esteem. (He missed his calling, he should have been a Psychiatrist or have an advice column in the paper. He would put Dear Abby to shame.) You bloggers may think I am mean as a snake, but I am a King snake. I am good for the people kingdom.

Back to the subject. In the majority of cases, you do not know who you are marrying. You know with whom you exchange vows but you do not know your future spouse. They may be even better than you thought they were. NOT! NEVER! WON'T HAPPEN! You may marry Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde will come home in his clothes one day. If so, get the HELL out. Don't use that sickening, over-used, excuse...."I stayed because of the kids." What did they do to deserve to be punished because you cannot admit you made a bad decision.

If you need advice, call me, I will call Jim and get back to you on it.

I am on my fourth husband, so I know what I am talking about. Given my life to do over, I would remarry three of the four...so trust me.

Have you noticed that there is an epidemic of women cheating in a marriage and causing the divorce? I would venture to say that over the last 10 years, 90% of the marriages I know that have failed is the fault of the wife's infidelity. And before anyone goes on a male pig rampage- I am a woman!

I believe in madatory birth control for those sexually active and not married. I also believe in no marriage before the age of 21 years old. Any male with two or more children and never married or not paying child support should be Sterilized. No exceptions.

Divorce could happen to anybody. In life, change is the only constant so one never knows what life is going to throw at you. Many never divorce because they are too afraid to make such a major change in life. I do admit there are many things one can do to hedge your bet that it won't happen to you but nothing is for certain in life. Taking each other for granted is the first step that leads down a very troubled road. One thing to remember, Women want to be adored and men just want to be respected. If that isn't happening it's just a matter of time.

Your Lamar County Magistrate Court recognizes the importance and value of stable two parent families. This is why we do the Valentines Day emphasis on weddings and why we eagerly do weddings year round. The glue does not always stick but we always give the opportunity.

I am the product of fighting parents who stayed together 20 years. It was miserable. I was married 22 years an found out after I left how miserable my children were! I married one man and got someone completely different after all was said and done. I don't know the answer, but sometimes I believe arranged marriages would work as well as us picking our own!