14 January, 2011

Illegal baby names

I would like to share with you what I have read today on the internet, I make it shorter but comprehensive to those who plan to name their babies that are banned in some countries. This week the Pope declared war on parents naming babies after celebrities, fruit or popular sports cars. He plead to give your children names that are in the Christian calendar. So, Apple, Brooklyn and Ferrari are out, Francisco and Giulia are in.

The following names have all been banned around the world for reasons of taste, decency or just plain draftness.

1. Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii (New Zealand)
It belonged to a 9-year-old girl from New Zealand but had renamed by a judge because it makes a fool of the child. The judge listed some that were also blocked: Fish and Chips (twins), Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit.

2. Venerdi AKA 'Friday' (Italy)
The boy would expose to 'mockery and was associated with 'subservience and insecurity. The parents however, they threatened to call their next child Mercoledi (Wednesday). Andrea was rejected in Italy and change to Emma. Dalmata has also been rejected, as it mean Dalmatian.

3. Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (Sweden)
No, I didn't fall asleep on the keyboard. That is an actual name apparently the name is pronouces 'Albin" (I'm not sure how), and the parents chose it as a protest against Sweden's admittedly strict naming laws. Also banned some favourites include Metallica, IKEA, Veranda and Q. Google was OK though.

4. Gesher AKA 'Bridge' (Norway)
Eccentric Kristi Larsen said she was instructed in a dream to name her son Gesher (Hebrew for 'Bridge'), but the court were having none of it maybe she had just run out of ideas.

5. Chow Tow AKA 'Smelly Head' (Malaysia)
Government killjoys published a list of undesirable names that weren't in keeping with the religious traditions of the country - such as Cantonese moniker Cow Tow - which means 'Smelly Head". Also Ah Chwar ('Snake'), Khiow Khoo ('Hunchback'), Sor Chai ('Insane'). Malays should also steer of Woti, which means 'Sexual Intercourse'.

6. @ (China)
A couple called their baby the '@' symbol - in Chinese characters it apparently looks a bit like 'love him'. However, the authorities were less sentimental and publicised the moniker as an example of citizens bringing bizarre names into the Chinese language.

7. Miatt (Germany)
Miatt was rejected because it didn't clearly show whether the child was a boy or a girl, but sometimes the decisions are somewhat arbitrary... The likes of Stompie, Woodstock and Grammophon were turned down, whereas the similarity strange Speedy, Lafayette and Jazz were allowed.

8. Anus (Denmark)
Parents given 7,000-odd names to choose from by the government. Special permission is needed to deviate from the list, Anus was one of 250-odd names rejected each year. Well, Pluto and Monkey had lucky escapes...

9. Ovnis (Portugal)
Before naming your child in Portugal, best consult this mammoth, 80-page government doc (and have it translated to English) that tells you which names you can and can't use. It's pretty strict (and random) – Tomás is OK but Tom isn't – and celebs can forget about the likes of Apple and Brooklyn, which aren't even on the banned list. Essex girls rejoice, however – Mercedes is allowed!

10. Akuma AKA 'Devil' (Japan)
Here's a name the Pope definitely wouldn't approve of. A Japanese parent called his son Akuma (which literally means Devil). The authorities decided this was an abuse of the parent's rights to decide a child's name and a lengthy court battle ensued. Eventually the father backed down and junior got a new, less demonic name.

One high school batchmate recently begged us to be kind when it comes to naming our (future) kids. He had two very long given names and he said it was torture for him back then, and he was bullied because of it too. It's crazy how some parents just don't think when they name their kids. My friend's child was named "Babe" (she had two given names, that's one of them) and I can't believe she's serious! Just imagine when that girl becomes a mum or grandma and she's still named "Babe".