2/07/2006

Gonzales to Congress: "Go Fuck Yourselves":Yesterday's Senate Judiciary Committee hearing over the President's warrantless domestic surveillance program more or less went something like this: Arlen Specter would ask something about why the White House doesn't go to the FISA court and Alberto Gonzales would say, "We considered it, decided against it, and you can go fuck yourselves." Patrick Leahy would ask something about how Congress's authorization to use force constituted a green light to domestic spying, and Gonzales would say, "Hey, baldy, we define 'force,' and so you can go fuck yourselves. Hard." Leahy would ask if NSA has opened mail. Gonzales would say, "Not gonna tell you and go fuck yourself."

For truly, when Gonzales answered Joe Biden's question about how the revelation of the NSA spying program has hurt it with "if [the enemy is] not reminded about it all the time in the newspapers and in stories, they sometimes forget," truly, what was he saying but "No, seriously, you guys and gal, go fuck yourselves. You get nothin'." So it went, with Senators Kennedy, Kohl, the Feins - Stein and Gold, Schumer, and Durbin, and even with Republican Senators DeWine, Graham and Brownback, all, all told, in no uncertain terms by Gonzales, "You are Congress and you can, as I've said already, go fuck yourselves."

Then, of course, there was Orrin Hatch, who more or less took out a 9-inch dildo and told Gonzales to watch him fuck himself right there in the chamber as Hatch bent over and slid that bad boy home, with Gonzales nodding appreciatively and saying, "See how that Mormon tool fucks himself? It's the way you should all go fuck yourselves." Senators Grassley, Sessions, Cornyn and Kyl all more or less whipped out their own increasingly larger dildos to show Gonzales how much they love fucking themselves. Meanwhile, somewhere in the back of the chamber, the official Republican Party dildo cleaner was quietly grateful that the GOP committee members weren't unified in their desire to fuck themselves.

Truth be told, the scariest thing about the hearing was how blithely everyone referred to the United States being in a "war" with al-Qaeda. When Biden asked Gonzales when this war would be over, Gonzales answered, "I presume the straightforward answer, Senator, is that when al-Qaeda is destroyed and it no longer poses a threat to the United States," which, one may presume, as Biden did, means "Never." However, and the Rude Pundit may be forgetting a thing or two here, but the Joint Resolution authorizing force against al-Qaeda was not a declaration of war. In fact, other than saying that it squared with the War Powers Resolution, war wasn't mentioned in it. The President began to rhetorically refer to the attempt to stop al-Qaeda as the "war on terror." So does that mean that Johnson had these powers during the "War on Poverty"? Or Reagan and Bush I in the "War on Drugs"? Silly, no? Scary, yes?

At some point, someone needs to ask Hatch and the other "Constitutional authority of the President to do whatever the fuck he pleases" Senators this: in the next Presidential election, with the "war" still going on, what if a Democrat wins and simply adopts the reasoning of the Bush administration on presidential power? Ya feel comfortable with that, Orrin?

Media note: Today, at 7 a.m., the Rude Pundit flipped back and forth between CNN's American Morning and Bullshit Breakfast on Fox "News." In the first half-hour of CNN, the hearings weren't even mentioned. However, Fox was all over it, even having Jonathan Turley on to comment. The Rude Pundit's sure the French face transplant's fascinating and the McCain/Obama slap fight's oodles of fun, but CNN essentially said that the wiretap hearings are unworthy of being a top story. And thus an informed public heads out, thinking it understands the priorities of the nation.