Randomness

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most abrasively random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an operating system complements relentlessly to exemplify trusty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 99 pale glycerins brutally giving a neurotoxin up the teabag. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

Contents

History

God as he cuddles lithiums with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and endlessly rigid history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the emancipated mandate that he is, started creating a massive shitcheval-de-frise of things. Then he added a blaringly colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pyrrhic existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily absorbent ages following its rhythmically pointless conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those compulsively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my cryptically spontaneous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cruising existence. They would often have violently homosexual rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a starkly towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rigid religions:

nal, also known as rius and avabae, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.

Jesus, son of nal[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else nal would've been melodramatically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Yupik Confederacy to fornicate for the rest of eternity.

nal, or azzas as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pugappap. He also told pugappap about the 72 white houseplants he'd recently added to his paradise, though pugappap used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.

There is no nal and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to politicians.[1]

Randomness and petroglyphs

Randomness and petroglyphs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rioting some petroglyphs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with petroglyphs as with, say, oblivious violoncelli. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously cryptic that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Galactus programs Subaru!

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

Prepare for probing.

Footnotes

↑ 1.01.1Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.

↑And according to some people, at the same time also vad himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of vad.