The Official Unofficial Magglio Ordoñez for MVP Blog

Archive for April, 2009

After Bud Selig sent them to wander the West Coast and the Heartland for 10 days, the Tigers are returning home at long last today. And, for the next three days, the newest entrant in the Remove The Tigers From First So ESPN Can Make Stupid Trade Rumors Regarding Big And Mig Sweepstakes is….THE NEW YORK YANKEES.

That’s right. The greatest team ever. The Yankees. Now, I haven’t watched much baseball outside of the Tigers thus far, but I believe the Yankees and Red Sox have combined to start 35-5 and that tonight’s opposing pitcher, CC Sabathia is 4-0 with a 0.25 ERA and a WHIP of 0.30. Let’s all be very, very afraid and just accept the inevitable sweep.

Oh wait, the Yankees have pretty much the same record as the Tigers and Sabathia has pitched about the same as Verlander at this point in the season. Ok, so CC has a better ERA and has actually won a game, but Verlander has fallen victim to horrendous defense and a ridiculous strand rate in ’09 to date. He’s gotta catch a break at some point, right?

Your match-ups for this series are:

Verlander vs. Sabathia

Jackson vs. Hughes

Porcello vs. Chamberlin

Wednesday night’s game will be broadcast on ESPN, btw. For the first time this year, I’ll get to watch on a screen bigger than that of a MacBook. HUZZAH!

After this series, it’s thirteen straight games against division opponents, including eight of them on the road. These are the good times, people.

Pretty good, right? The Tigers just went 5-4 on a 9 game road trip and played well enough to win at least a couple more of them as well. Best of all, the Fightin’ Tildes are now in possession of a one game lead in the AL Central. Thats the AL Central – FIRST TO 85 WINS IT!

As for the Big Tilde himself, well he’s had some issues at the plate thus far. Not so much with the hitting overall, although the average has taken quite a tumble over the past few days, but for the absolute lack of pop the in bat of TBT. It took until game number 17 for his first extra base hit to occur. Now, we know his slugging percentage took a healthy drop last year, but that had to be expected coming off of his insane 2007 season. Thankfully, as an exclamation point on Saturday’s win, Maggs finally got past first base with the single swing of his bat. We’ve got the first one out of the way, so we’ve got about 35 doubles and 20 more homers that need to start happening know.

The inevitable fire sale has been going on for quite some time, and the centerpiece of all that has been His Tildeness. He was supposed to be traded, like, eight times to seven different teams in the last year, if you believe everything you hear. And if you’re that gullible, when are you going to pay me back that ten bucks?

Anyways, if the Tigers are flat out of the race, you’re going to be haring a lot of teams wanting to claim ownership to our bloggable inspiration. Take it away, James Schmehl! Schmimazehl! Hassenpfeffer Incorporated!

Ordonez is guaranteed $18 million this year and has vesting options for 2010 and 2011. A strong selling point is that he has limited no-trade protection. But unless the Tigers are willing to work with teams to take on part of his contract, I don’t see much trade value.

First of all, MLive, if you’re on a Mac, it’s option+n and then another “n.” Use the tilde and use it well. Secondly, of course teams want him. Who wouldn’t love to trade for a God among men? Rarely can you find a divine force teams are willing to part with.

When all is said and done and baseball is extinct and replaced with a version featuring robots and large-breasted blonde women, there will still be Magglio Ordoñez on the Detroit Tigers, a team that no longer exists. By then his average will be slightly less than it is today, in his prime. I’m going with .326.

Sorry to disappear on you for a few days, but real life has been kinda busy. Anyway, while I was out, the Tigers up and decided to take 2 out of 3 in Seattle to improve to 7-5 and remain in a tie for first place in the AL Central. Dreamboat Rick got his very first win and a shaving cream pie to the face, Verlander looked awesome for 6/7ths of his appearance, and E-Jax (Made in Germany, So You Know He’s Good) was dominant yet again. Folks, the pitching staff is starting to look like it might just be alright. In fact, when you look at the next three matchups against the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim Stadium DisneyWorld Land of the Lost -San Luis Obispo, you have to like the odds. (more…)

Unlike Allen Q. “Chuckles” Iverson, Magglio Ordoñez is above such mortal feats of redundancy. But he humors the populous by partaking in it anyway. Jason Beck, the prophet to His Tildeness, is there with a stylus of pure ivory. (And a skosh of ink.)

“It’s very interesting, from an untrained eye, to look at him and go, ‘That’s the worst BP I’ve ever seen in my life,’ ‘” Brandon Inge said.

HOW DARE ONE QUESTION THE UNQUESTIONABLE QUESTIONS OF …

“But I’m telling you, it’s very calculated. He just gets his bat down on a plane, keeps his hands through, and he hits foul balls over there.”

If Tilde wants to hit foul balls, he will. If Tilde wants to strike out, to make fans feel bad about not paying convenience fees for their tickets, he will. (more…)

I was at Nationals Park for Opening Day with a couple of fellow Tigers fans on Monday and we spent a good portion of the first three innings paying attention to the Tigers/White Sox box score rather than the ballgame in front of us. It didn’t help that it was the Nationals playing before our eyes, I suppose. (Poor Nats – we know 0-7 all too well) I will never understand the stranglehold that Ozzie Guillen’s crew seems to have over our boys. Every single one of them turn into All-Stars when they play the Tigers. Zach Miner, as is he is wont to do, pitched a million times worse at home than he did on the road. But, hey! At least the boys are still .500! And we all know that .500 will be good enough to hang around in the Central for a very long time this season. (ASSUME this is true at least)

So, today, there I was at my desk all ready for Dreamboat Rick Porcello to guide me through my afternoon. And then came the rain. It was raining here in DC all day too. I curse the rain for taking away the Dreamboats certain no-hitter this afternoon. I curse the rain for taking away the 4-5 day the Big Tilde had in store – including his first homer of the season! Big things were afoot at the Copa K today, friends. Alas, they must await til Wendesday afternoon. The Little Cat will bring joy back to a muddy Tigerville and the D will return to first place. AND NEVER LET IT GO.