10 hours

We want what we want, and we do everything we can to obtain it. There’s no way to go around this. And even though we undoubtedly will cross paths with others, we often mistake their motives and try to make them do things our way. At times, we might even believe we’re alone. Bitterly alone in a world that’s trying its best to keep us as from achieving our destiny.

Sometimes we feel this life resembles a war. Every day is a battle, every day we have to wake up and choose to fight or not. We choose whether our own dreams and ideals are worthy of the tremendous energy we’re wasting just too keep them alive.

I believe that this world is so big, and there are so many people in it, doing all sorts of crazy things, all of them at once, that we’ve grown immune to what’s going on around us. Too many voices shouting at once, and not enough ears to hear them. It is a struggle. This life, now and a thousand years ago… life was never meant to be easy. We never had to flick our hands and through a magic we couldn’t understand the thing we wanted most would appear.

We have to fight. But we also need allies. We need to fight together, to grow together, to learn together.

One thing that being an artist teaches you is that all creative endeavors are selfish in nature. We write for us, because we want different things, it’s true, but we write because we want something and we’re trying to get it. Whether is peer recognition, money, glory, or just the satisfaction of writing down the most painful of memories in the attempt to better preserve them.

And, in many ways, being an artist teaches you that you are alone, that the world neither cares nor wants you. You’re just one out of seven or eight billion.

So don’t expect to get everything when and the way you want it. Don’t expect for the seas to part just because you want to take a shortcut. Don’t expect to find many maps either. Sometimes you don’t even get a compass.

This world we live in, this is a world of small steps, not giant leaps. Often times days go by, each and every one of them resembling the one before in excruciating detail. Yet, as time passes, things change. We change. The world around us changes.

Evolution is a very slow process.

Ever since I was six years old, I wanted to do great things. I never wanted to be “normal,” whatever normal meant for me at that time. Or whatever normal means to me now. I always wanted to change things, to alter them in a way that the world could not forget me.

It’s a strange thing to wish for, I agree, but that’s how I am.

If this world is a battlefield, I chose to fight for the highest of causes, for those ideas and dreams that matter most to me. Even if I fail.

I was 13 when I decided to become a writer. I didn’t know what I was doing. I never thought it to be so difficult, never thought that writing a story down is not about the story, or the words. It’s not about the idea or how to implement it. Writing a story down is about all these things, and about neither one at the same time. There’s also a certain x-factor we can’t define, a thing we can’t touch, but we can feel.

I wanted to be a great writer. I wanted for people to love my stories. And I wanted it so bad… that I wasn’t really spending enough time writing. I wrote only when I felt that I could write something great. And I failed. Time and time again, all I wrote were melodramatic stories… words that just sounded nice but had no substance. Empty phrases glued together by a teenage boy who wanted to be great.

Much, much later I understood that being great isn’t about how other perceive you, it’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about doing your thing, unflinching as a clock, relentless of what goes around in the world. You just keep on writing…

If there’s one thing I learned in my 22 years on this planet, it is simply this: We all want what we want. We all want something. And we often have to fight real hard to get it. Sometimes, we can’t fight… sometimes we can’t fight any weapons. Or we just have one. And we feel as if life isn’t fair.

With 10 hours left in this campaign, there’s only one last thing I can do to try to raise the additional funds we need. And that is to ask for your help. I’m not alone in this fight, I’m not alone in this dream of mine. I have only one weapon… and as cliche or melodramatic as it sounds, that’s you.

We all want what we want and we have to do everything that’s in our power to get it.

Well then. Such a great expression of angst. And yet, perhaps it is because you just left being 21, just left the cocoon of childhood that extends beyond its own years. You haven't had the chance to experience yet, the wonder of silence and inaction. Of going into battle with open hands and still breath. Think of Jesus standing before the crowd. Pushing is good for those times, like now for you, when you are trying to get that stone up the mountain before you. But then there's times when its good to leave the stone where it is and find another way.

"Sometimes you don’t even get a compass." Being a pioneer is a daunting, yet rewarding, task. I like reading your posts; you remind me of my son, who is your age and full of thoughtful dreams and life.

"[B]eing great isn’t about how other perceive you, it’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about doing your thing, unflinching as a clock, relentless of what goes around in the world. You just keep on writing…"

Inspirational and so true. And you are only 22? Hard to believe. Thanks for the insightful post.

I know what it's like to feel, from the moment I woke, as if I were a soldier gearing up for battle. I hate living each day that way. And yet those times have been when I grew the most, became stronger than ever, and learned about myself.

Some people experience the war and the solitude, and push ahead. Some, unfortunately, succumb to the negative, because that's all they see. Been there, too. Thank God there are folks who will help us achieve our goals.

Through dry deserts and fertile meadows, we need to see the potential in every day to say something or do something of significance. The only thing we can be certain of is we won't if we stop writing and stop doing. Keep on writing man.

"We want what we want…", you say, and this is true. But by some fortunate mutation of nature we sometimes want what might benefit others more. This ability to sacrifice for the greater good is rare among species. As it turns out, this small and sometimes rarely expressed ability is ultimately responsible for our great success, a diverse and complex society. Christmas is also a celebration of this ability to act beyond our personal benefit. In the coming year let's work towards transmitting this attribute to our business philosophies as well. Let our social economy rule supreme.

So cool you had ideas to be great since you were a child. I had no such thoughts til I was way older and always wanted to be "normal, ordinary" but I was not. I tried very hard to fit into established society with an ordinary 9-5 most of my life. Now I am slowly getting back to what is actually normal to me, but not to most.

You write with passion, you have something to say that others want to hear. Maybe you will even become the spokesperson for the ones without a voice. You express what is the experience of so many, the many who are not articulate enough to express it, even to themselves.

That is why it is important to write. We write in solitude but if we connect with even one other then our words have been worthwhile.

"Ever since I was six years old, I wanted to do great things." Geez, when I was six I just wanted to be a princess who got to stay up past my bed time and eat ice cream for dinner. You were totally ahead of the curve.

"One thing that being an artist teaches you is that all creative endeavors are selfish in nature. We write for us, because we want different things, it’s true, but we write because we want something and we’re trying to get it. Whether is peer recognition, money, glory, or just the satisfaction of writing down the most painful of memories in the attempt to better preserve them.

And, in many ways, being an artist teaches you that you are alone, that the world neither cares nor wants you. You’re just one out of seven or eight billion."

So dark and pessimistic for one so young! ;) Isn't there some room somewhere between recognition, money, pain and glory for other, more benevolent or altruistic artistic motivations? Maybe it's all just a matter of perspective. Thought-provoking post, as always. Good luck with your online magazine endeavor!

Cristian, 22 is young, young, young! No need for angst yet, though I suffered plenty of it as a young man. You have decades ahead of yourself to create a legacy so I wouldn't worry too much if you're not an instant author celebrity. That has to be earned and only the most extraordinary talents get to create their masterpieces in their early 20s. While that may often be the case for musicians, writers need time to learn about life in order to write in a mature fashion. "A poet at 21 is 21. A poet at 40 is a poet."

So true…good inspiration not to give up on some dreams. I also am surprised you're only 22! I guess looking back when I was 22 I didn't consider myself young…although now it seems like life is so full of potential at that age, I'm glad of the blessings life experiences can bring as well.