A few of the ladies who somehow managed to escape mine sauseege this past weekend…

Stopped by Jordan Carver’s house in LA…

.. too bad she was in the pool and didn’t answer the door. But it’s Jordan’s loss, though, because I’m ready for a sexual relationship. She still thinks I’m not.

Mia Khalifa issued a fatwa on my fat one …

… but I do not participate in honor fillings. Her loss.

This young lady was precisely where I wasn’t all weekend – in St. Barts.

And that’s pretty much why I did not fling her flimsies to the floor and audible a sloppy 32 waggle on hut-hut. Bet she’s rethinking her trip; but there’s a very real chance this dish lassoed the report of TDT’s BARACULO who was there updating us on her whereabouts.

Was all set to party with these two vixens …

… but when they checked out my vanilla gorilla they made a run for it. Hopped right out the window and everything. Big waste of time.

I have no idea what’s up with these chicks – and before you ask, neither does Wang.