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Courtney Cox and David Arquette. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman. Laura Dern and Ben Harper. These are just some of the most shocking celebrity splits this past month. We do not know the causes of these marital demises; however, the glare of the spotlight and the public’s prying eyes may have been top contributing factors. After all, it is tough to juggle a hot Hollywood career and marriage- especially these days. Therefore, with that information in mind, which seemingly solid Hollywood couple may be the next one to ‘hit the skids?’ Take your pick!

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“Jersey Shore” ‘star’ Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is writing a new book entitled Here’s the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore. Great…first Snooki, now him. Can these people actually write, yet alone read? I swear, it’s like anyone can get a book deal these days! Geez! Maybe I should write a book too. Yeah, I think I’m going to name it Death of Reality TV: The Sooner the Better. Hopefully that book will turn into a movie deal afterwards!

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According to a “source,” singer Beyonce Knowles is expecting her first child. Ok, great. Why is this news? Every 10 minutes, a baby is born- so why don’t all expectant mothers get a headline? What makes her so special? If they are going to announce an expectant birth, it should be to that of a true hero (i.e. female soldier) and not some over-paid celebrity who contributes little to nothing to our society. That’s my two cents.

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OMG, why do people who are famous for nothing get headlines in the news for? Seriously…who the heck is Melissa Rycroft and why does the world need to know that she’s expecting a baby girl? Hmmm….must be a slow news day, I suppose!

By the way, Melissa, stop trying to get your 15 minutes of fame. Nobody cares about you- end of story.

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In other news, Taylor Swift hates talking about her personal life….yet she loves to sing about it. Is it me or are celebrities not that bright? Seriously, what the heck? Whether you are singing, talking, or writing about your personal life, you are still sharing it with the public. That’s just common sense, man. Do yourself a favor, Taylor, and stop writing songs about your ex-boyfriends before they come after you with a .45 and a shovel! Hey, just sayin’…

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So, according to a “source,” Kendra Wilkinson (seriously, who?) and Minessota Vikings player Hank Baskett are doing ‘fine,’ and are one married couple that are far from splitting up. The funny thing about this ‘news’ is that every time a ‘celebrity’ couple talks about their relationship, divorce soon follows. So my advice to these spotlight-mongers is this: shut your f$%*ing trap about your d@mn relationship!!!! Nobody gives a flying f**** about whether you’re “oh so happy” or “in love.” Chances are, you’re lying your a@@ off anyway just so people could watch your movie, buy your book, etc..! So do us all a favor and keep your crap to yourself! Geez!

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So, have you heard? Apparently, ’90s comedienne Jenny McCarthy was never honest during her 5-year relationship with actor Jim Carrey. Yep, she was faking her persona that ENTIRE time. Seriously, should anyone believe this? Well, here’s my take on it: this chick is only saying this just so she can get press for her up-coming book on….relationships. Hmmm…shameless, right? Well, what Jenny McCarthy needs to do is be a friggin’ woman and stop blabbing about her ex-relationship for publicity. Yes, Jenny, you were relevant,like, 20 years ago; however, these days nobody gives a hoot. Now do all of us a favor and please.go.away. While, you’re at it, take Taylor Swift too. Thanks.