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Whistlemania I – Weigh Ins…

What in the hell is Whistlemania? Well, it is the Battle Royal of 30 of the world’s toughest whistles. Back in 1986 at Wrestlemania II, twenty of the world’s strongest, fake wrestlers and NFL players fought it out in a ring to a scripted battle leaving Andre the Giant as winner.

Unlike professional wrestling, Whistlemania pulls no punches, has no script, and no Pay Per View fee!!

Before you sound off the nerd alert, let me give you the two-fold back story. First I was looking for a good whistle for my future online store and kids classes, and only the best will do.

Second, my good friend was looking for an emergency whistle for his kids, so he said..

“What be-eth the best whistle good sir?”

I replied.. “I do not knoweth Sir Coop, but I will find out in short order”

Spurred by noble goals and “Over-The-Top” syndrome, I tapped into my twelve year old, Wrestlemania-watching forebrain to create a 7 part whistle torture test. That’s right, tune into to future posts to watch the drama, and truth, unfold.

Yeah, maybe whistles aren’t as cool as AR’s, flashlights, and knives, but one of the most rewarding moments in my career was watching a family be reunited after Rambo Ricky and I found the lost grandparents using whistle blasts in dense vegetation. Whistles work when your voice gives out. They are lightweight, inexpensive, and essential. Whistles save lives.

Want to spend a lifetime wallowing in anguish and regret? Don’t spend $5 on a whistle for your kids and you may get to if they wander off in the woods.

Whistles aren’t just for kids though. Try yelling for help repeatedly and you will soon find out that your voice will give out and you will wish you had a whistle. I carry one every time I hit the woods and usually have a backup version on my sternum strap or neck lanyard.

So what is the best whistle? If you said the one you have on you, you are right. Carrying any whistle is better than not, but hopefully this series will sort through the myriad of choices if you are hunting for a new one.

“Whistlemania 1″ will focus on the size, weight, cost, ruggedness, and my general impressions. I only measure length and width on whistles that were slimmer than 1/4” and did not test the expensive titanium whistles because they cost too much for your average woods trekker. There are some other good whistle reviews, and I will link them at the end of the series for inquiring minds.

I figured the worst thing that could happen to a whistle in the woods is get stepped on, so the “ruggedness” test consisted of my boot crushing the whistle with all 200 pounds of pressure on a hard surface. 28 out of 30 survived this test and I will showcase those failures at end of this post.

Enough talk, time for the show. The contestants are ready for weigh ins, so let’s see the divisions and meet the gladiators..

When I think of “Lightweights”, I think of whistles that I wouldn’t mind having hang around my neck. These would also be the class for smaller PSK’s, Personal Survival Kits., that you carry in a cargo pocket. Weight wise, they all weighed in under .30 ounces.

Tin Whistle – Free. I was first shown how to make these by Mors Kochanski using aluminum flashing. This one was from a can of Rotel and you can also make it from a coke can. I will blog how to do it at the end of this series. I included this one because I have seen people use it for their primary whistle.

Fox 40 Mini – $6. Pealess. Smaller than the Classic. I shaved the keels off years ago and I don’t know what the melted goo on it is, maybe pine pitch. At least I hope so.

AMK or SOL or Fox 40 Micro – Several names and costing about $8 for a 2-pack. Nice slim whistle.

Coghlan’s 4 in 1 Whistle – $5. Pealess. Whistle, compass, magnifying glass, and thermometer. The magnifying glass is convex on one side and flat on the other. I am no physics geek, but I think that reduces performance. I did manage to light a fire with a piece of punk wood transferred to a tinder bundle.

The 2 whistles that failed the crush test were the ACME Tornado 635 and the Tin Whistle, no surprises there. The Tornado still worked after bending it back, but the plastic is obviously stressed and the tone may have changed. The Tin whistle worked after bending it back into shape as well.

Place your bets ladies and gentlemen and tune in next week for Whistlemania II.

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Disclaimer:

This blog and all associated content do not reflect the views of my employer, the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, the National Park Service, or the Department of the Interior
In other words, this is all me..