REVISED PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS

It’s now an open secret that there are no diagnostic tests for any of the so-called mental disorders psychiatry claims exist.

While people have problems, their categorization, definition, and diagnosis by the official experts are done by assembling the opinions of committees. This is a farce.

In the interests of fairness, it’s time someone outside the field of psychiatry made a contribution to the terminology.

So here are several new disorders I believe should be listed in the DSM-5, the directory and bible of the profession.

LABELING DISORDER (LD)

LD is characterized by an unhealthy and pervasive obsession to label human behavior. The sufferer sees illness lurking behind every lamppost.

There are six distinct classes of LD–

LPP (Labeling for Profit and Prestige)

LC (Labeling for Control)

LPAS (Labeling as a Pretense to Actual Science)

LFSB (Labeling From Sheer Boredom)

LCWDC (Labeling to Cooperate With Drug Companies)

LDIP (Labeling Done to Injure People [See Sadism])

INFERIORITY COMPLEX COMPENSATION THROUGH PROFESSIONAL ARROGANCE

DISORDER (ICCPAD)

ICCPAD symptoms include: speaking down through the nose, as if from a great height; attempting to intimidate parents of small children; and the track-lighting of wall-hanging diplomas and certificates.

ATTRIBUTION OF NEW PATIENT SYMPTOMS TO PREVIOUSLY DIAGNOSED DISORDER

SYNDROME (ANPSPDDS)

ANPSDDS specifically refers to the patient’s symptoms actually caused by injurious drugs the psychiatrist has prescribed. Intentionally, or through sheer incompetence, the psychiatrist denies the adverse effects of the drugs, and instead claims the patient’s new symptoms reveal his disorder is worsening, or he/she has suddenly acquired a new disorder.

The treatment regimen for all three of these new mental disorders is the same: stripping of licenses to practice any form of medicine; issuance of a restraining order barring the psychiatrist from coming within 500 yards of a former patient; one year of community service, served pumping gas at a local station, preferably one which forbids employing attendants.

The final step of treatment consists of the psychiatrist ingesting half a dozen of the most powerful drugs he prescribed for patients during his career.

Thus, the playing field is leveled.

JON RAPPOPORT

An investigative reporter for 30 years, Jon is the author of an 18-lesson course, LOGIC AND ANALYSIS. To learn more about the course, click here.

Jon is the associate producer on a film in progress, American Addict, detailing the effects of pharmaceuticals on the US population.