Mar 16, 2010

Compleo

You may recall a friend of mine who was once turned down a second date by a lady for being too fat. His misadventures in dating continue. His pain, our comedy.

"So I went on a date last week."

"How'd it go?"

"Not well. Turns out she is a he. No I didn't find out THAT way."

"..........."

"Yeah. I walked in and I knew something was wrong from the beginning. He/she....."

"....wait. Wait. Back up here. How'd you meet her/him?"

"Met her/him/it on Craigslist."

"Ahhhh....."

"Well she...I'm going to refer to her as a she from now on just because it's easier....She sent a really cute pic. Nice eyes. Pretty smile. Turns out that was from five years ago and she gained a bunch of weight. Wasn't even cute for a guy."

"So you mean a photo on the Internet was not a good representation of her in real life? Imagine my shock."

"Yeah I know."

"So I'm afraid to ask, but I will anyways. What happened?"

"Well we were at her place talking and she said 'I'm not exactly a she honey'."

"And you did what?"

"Well I was actually nice. I'm a nice guy. We sat and talked about it a bit and she told me about being a transvestite. She considered herself a third generation transvestite. Not that her parents were, but she believes now that she's liberated just like modern females."

"How did it end?"

"I finally got sick of it and told her I was leaving. She said she'd see me around. I assured her that wouldn't happen."

"I'm so sorry I'm laughing, but you went out with a dude."

"Yeah. This would happen to me."I'm still in awe that this conversation actually took place.

I do feel sorry for people who have issues with their physical identity. The pain of hating how you look must be overwhelming, but still the guy could've been up front with it. Then again this is something I'll never let my friend live down.

Yeah I'm cruel.

"Your ethnic or sexual identity, what region of the country you're from, what your class is - those aspects of your identity are not the same as your aesthetic identity." - Stanley Crouch

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