Saturday, December 20, 2008

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and the jolly round man from the North Pole has delivered the Commonwealth's second national championship in the game of football just in time for Christmas. Sweet.

Last night the Richmond Spiders joined their Colonial Athletic Conference rival, the James Madison University Dukes, as the only Virginia schools to win an NCAA championship in football. Sorry, Bridgewater, you were close (losing to D3 superpower Mount Union 30-27 in 2001 Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl).

So Spiders, breathe in the rarefied championship air and don't hesitate to remind your Hokie and Wahoo friends of your Spiders' accomplishment. They will huff and puff, but they simply can't blow your itsy bitsy Football Championship Subdivision house down. History is what it is. Revel in your FCS glory.

Rookie head coach Mike London may have set the bar of expectations impossibly high by winning it all in his first season in charge at his alma mater.

Under his guidance, the Spider's Eric Ward caught a touchdown pass and threw for another one, while Josh Vaughan ran for 162 yards and a touchdown. The Grizzlies were never really in the game after Richmond scored a touchdown on the opening possession.

Richmond started the season 4-3 with one particularly galling loss to the Wahoos. They held a players-only meeting after losing to the 2004 NCAA D1AA Football National Champions, the JMU Dukes on a late punt return. We don't know what was said, but it worked.

The Spiders who finished the season at 13-3 promptly won their next eight games, guided by the steady hand of their rookie coach London, who replaced Dave Clawson after two seasons as defensive coordinator at Virginia. Richmond upset defending national champion Appalachian State in the playoff quarterfinals and hung on to beat Northern Iowa before knocking off two-time national champion Griz.

The Grizzlies (14-2), who lost the 2004 NCAA D1AA Football National Championship to James Madison University (did we mention that, you know the part where JMU and now Richmond are the only two schools from Virginia to win an NCAA football championship?), were making their fifth trip to the title game.

The Demon Deacons (10-0) also got 21 points from Jeff Teague, including eight in a 17-6 run that allowed them to open a more comfortable 69-55 lead with 5:55 remaining.

Richmond (5-5) closed to within four twice in the final two minutes, the last at 78-74 with 1:35 left, but Teague scored on a drive and Al-Farouq Aminu followed with a dunk after a turnover to give the Demon Deacons an 82-74 lead and send fans streaming for the exits.

Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis (shown here in Bradenton, Fla., in this Feb. 1974 file photo taken during spring training) died yesterday of a liver ailment. Ellis once infamously claimed he pitched a no-hitter for Pittsburgh while tripping on LSD. He later fiercely spoke out against drug and alcohol addiction.

WELL…YES. (Inside Joke Alert) Yesterday, T.A.H. received a rare complaint from one of our founding members (current allegiance: Clemson) about our scant coverage of Tyler Hansbrough’s unbelievable accomplishment of out scoring half of the NBA Hall of Fame…OK, that’s a stretch, but he did out score Lenny Rosenbluth and Michael Jordan and James Worthy (not once, but twice!) to name a few…or would you like us to recite the whole list (sans duplicates) again…? Well…noooo.

Here’s how it went: “Ok...are we going to hear about the o' so great...and I know he is truly worthy...Hansbourgh until next football season? PLEASE say it isn't soooo!”

Answer: No, but for doubting T.A.H.’s wisdom you will have to look at his mug everyday for the rest of the year. Today’s feature: underarm hair.

QUICK QUESTION. Does anybody know who these guys are or what the hell they’re doing?

We’re told it’s goaltender Marty Turco#35 of the Dallas Stars celebrating with teammate Loui Eriksson #21 after a shootout win against the Columbus Blue Jackets at the American Airlines Center December 18, 2008 in Dallas, Texas.

THRILLED AND DELIGHTED. Allen Iverson of the Detroit Pistons wears his NBPA Miracle Volunteer hat and looks absolutely delighted about volunteering for the NBA Player's Association's Miracle in Motown: Feeding 5,000 Detroit Families event at The Bing Group on December 18, 2008 in Detroit, Michigan.

That’s some holiday sprit right there, but somebody should tell him to knock that pesky (Richmond?) spider off his neck.

Friday, December 19, 2008

First off, with all due respect to Psycho-T, how many points would Phil Ford have scored if he hadn’t spent at least the last five minutes of the majority of his games dribbling around in circles in Dean Smith’s famous Four Corners? The fact that Ford, a point guard in an offense that utilized not shooting as a strategy, was the leading scorer at UNC is simply amazing.

Not any more.

Last night, Ford stood at midcourt, waiting for Tyler Hansbrough to take the microphone and address the home crowd. As the reigning national player of the year walked up, Ford playfully bowed in reverence before giving him a hug.

Hansbrough scored 20 points Thursday night (his 46 straight game in double figures) to break Ford's 30-year-old mark and help the top-ranked Tar Heels beat Evansville. Think about who has laced up their sneakers and played in Chapel Hill during those 30 years, and Hansbrough’s accomplishment is even that much more impressive. NBA stalwarts Michael Jordan (not a stalwart, but a legend), James Worthy, Sam Perkins, Brad Daugherty, Vince Carter, James Worth, Charlie Scott, Jerry Stackhouse and Antawn Jamison to name a few could not match the big kid from Poplar Bluff, Mizou.

Hansbrough finished 7-for-14 from the field and had nine rebounds for North Carolina (10-0), which shook off a slow start and stretched the lead to double figures against the Purple Aces (7-2) shortly after Hansbrough passed Ford midway through the first half.

Hansbrough tied Ford on a jumper from the left wing with 14:05 left in the first half and then set the record by muscling in a bank shot over James Haarsma and Pieter van Tongeren with 7:41 to go.

As soon as the record-setting shot went through the net, officials briefly stopped the game to allow Ford, Williams and athletic director Dick Baddour to present Hansbrough with the game ball. Students who carried small signs saying "Phil Ford 2,290" on one side turned it around to reveal "Tyler 2,291+" on the other.

Hansbrough is still chasing all time leading ACC scorer J.J. Redick (2,769). By way of comparison, Hansbrough has six career three-pointers compared to Redicks NCAA-record 457 three-point field goals which he made at an impressive 40.4% clip.

Miami quarterback Robert Marve will not play in the Emerald Bowl later this month because of a violation of team academic rules. (Did he do something silly like GO to class? What was he thinking?)

Marve told The Associated Press that the suspension stems from "a miscommunication about absentees for a class." He was not with the team for practice Thursday, and the team did not have any immediate comment, other than that Marve was excused for the day and returned to his home in Tampa for personal reasons.

Marve said he was returning to campus later Thursday.

Jacory Harris, who started the season-opener against Charleston Southern and appeared in all other 11 Miami games this year, will be the first-stringer when the Hurricanes (7-5) play California (8-4) in San Francisco on Dec. 27.

It's unclear what this could mean for Marve's future with the Hurricanes.

"I'm just taking all this one thing at a time," Marve told The AP.

Marve completed 116 of 213 passes for 1,293 yards this season for Miami, with nine touchdowns and 13 interceptions. He would have gotten some playing time last year as a true freshman, but ultimately had to redshirt the year because of injuries suffered in a car crash shortly before Miami opened training camp last summer.

The New York Knicks and Stephon Marbury (Georgia Tech) aren’t getting along so well. In fact, the Knickerbockers have banned their $21 million guy from taking any official actions with the Knicks or as a Knick.

The War of the Roses Knicks-style has driven Marbury to the point where he asked the team if he could purchase a courtside ticket to the recent Knicks v. Lakers game in L.A. He doesn’t want to jeopardize his huge payday by doing the wrong thing…like going to a Knicks game!

Evidently, the Knicks said OK and “Starbury” went to the game where he was unable to avoid reporters. Thankfully for us he added a new quote to the pantheon of CLASSIC SOUND BYTES courtesy of ESPN radio’s Mike and Mike In The Morning Show.

Classics, you say?

Yes classics, like Jim Mora’s “Playoffs?” or Allen Iverson’s “What are we talking about, practice?” How about Denny Green’s “They are who we thought they were,” or T.O.’s “I love me some me!” (You gotta admit, that’s a good one, right Blaze?)

DON’T ACT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS…A caddie retrieves the ball of Prom Meesawat of of Thailand (l) whose drive landed in a tree on day-two of the Volvo Masters of Asia at the Thai Country Club in Bangkok on December 19, 2008.

Gerald Henderson (the real victim in Coach K’s one-car charging accident) and Kyle Singler both scored 14 points after being benched at the start by their discombobulated “teacher.”

Jon “Crazy Face” Scheyer added 13 points for the Blue Devils (9-1), who juggled the lineup after they were upset 11 days earlier at Michigan. Coach Mike Krzyhklw4ski benched his regular starting lineup in favor of five players who had combined to make one start this season. And just how long do you thing those boys played? Short answer: Not very long.

Ultimately, it didn't matter who Duke had on the floor against an outmanned UNC Asheville team. The Blue Devils took control with an early 27-8 run and coasted to their 65th consecutive non-conference victory at Cameron.

Antwan Carter scored 13 to lead the Lancers (5-6), and Dana Smith and Ryan Bogan chipped in 11 each.

N.C. STATE 87, East Carolina (Pirates, 25,990 students, Greenville, NC) 76 – Junior Brandon Costner had his best game since the 2007 ACC Tournament finals, leading NC State to victory over East Carolina Wednesday night at the RBC Center and avenging last year's loss to the Pirates in down in Greenville.

Costner had 24 points and 17 rebounds in the contest, topping his totals in both categories for any game last season. It was his most points since scoring 28 against North Carolina in Tampa, Fla., two seasons ago and his most rebounds since grabbing a career-high 19 against UNC-Wilmington on Dec. 30, 2006.

The Wolfpack (6-1), playing without injured starter Courtney Fells, took control of the game in the second half by scoring on eight of its first 10 possessions.

Senior Ben McCauley had 20 points for the Pack, while sophomore Tracy Smith added 11. East Carolina (8-2) was led by Raleigh-native Brock Young's 25 points.

Lewis Clinch, academically ineligible for the first semester, scored 18 in his first game and Iman Shumpert had 11 assists for the Yellow Jackets (6-2). Brad Sheehan came came off the bench to score 16.

Dante Curry had 21 points in his first game to lead Georgia State (3-7). The transfer from South Florida became eligible at the end of the first semester.

Baugh played both offense and defense and punted while leading the Skins to two championships during his 16-year career. He was the Peyton Manning of his time, thought to be the first QB “gunslinger.” You want Old School? Slingin’ Sammy Baugh was old school. Big time.

Our favorite Baugh story involves his nemesis – Papa Bear Halas’ Monsters from the Midway. The Bears throttled the Skins 73-0 in the 1940 NFL championship game at home in Griffith stadium.

The Skins, who had defeated the Bears, 7-3, on the same field three weeks earlier, botched a scoring opportunity early when the usually reliable receiver Charlie Malone dropped a Baugh pass on the goal line. At the time of the miscue the score was Chicago 7, Washington 0.A reporter later asked Baugh if the final result of the slaughter would have been different had Malone caught the pass and the Redskins scored?

"Sure," Baugh said. "The final score would have been 73-6."

(Top: vs. the Bears, AP, bottom: In a Nov. 20, 1993 file photo, Baugh (center) is shown during a pregame ceremony where TCU retired his No. 45 jersey. His No. 33 Redskins jersey is the only one Washington has retired. Ron Heflin-AP Photos. Photos courtesy of the Washington Post)

According to ESPN’s Heather Dinich, Virginia Tech athletic director Jim Weaver said today officials have nixed the idea of a head-coach-in-waiting plan for defensive coordinator Bud Foster or anyone else on staff for that matter.

When Clemson interviewed Foster for the head coaching job, Weaver expressed interest in learning more about the plan Texas announced, which will make defensive coordinator Will Muschamp the next head coach once Mack Brown retires. Weaver said that scenario won't work in Blacksburg.

"I've talked to our president, and I've talked to coach [Frank] Beamer and we see the coach-in-waiting concept as something that's viable for a year, maybe a maximum of two years if you know there's going to be transition, but coach Beamer could be here another eight, 10, 12 years and we just don't think that's the kind of arrangement we want to have with that kind of tenure still possible," Weaver said.

Well, Bud, the Rotary guys still love you. So you got that goin' for you...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

No. 25 CLEMSON 76, North Florida (Ospreys, 13,934 students, Jacksonville, FL) 36 - Trevor Booker had 16 points, 10 rebounds and five blocked shots, and No. 25 Clemson moved to 11-0 for the third time in four seasons with a 76-36 victory over North Florida on Tuesday night.

The Tigers are 49-0 under coach Oliver Purnell over the past four seasons in games played before Dec. 22.

Clemson (11-0) didn't open this game like an undefeated team, struggling with winless North Florida (0-8) for a good part of the opening half.

Reid's three-point play with 3:59 left broke a 55-55 deadlock as the Seminoles closed the game with a 14-5 run to improve to 10-1, equaling the best start in school history.

(Clemson's Trevor Booker (35) drives for the basket as North Florida's Zack Riggins (30) tries to block the shot during the first half . AP Photo/Mary Ann Chastain; Florida State's Jordan DeMercy is fouled by Tennessee Tech's Elijah Muhammad while attempting a shot during the second half. AP Photo/Steve Cannon)

In hopes of keeping his team's focus on its Orange Bowl assignment against 12th-ranked Cincinnati, Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer said on Monday that player curfew will be midnight during the club's six-night stay before the New Year's Day's 8:45 p.m. contest at Dolphins Stadium.

In the past, Tech's curfew had allowed players to stay out to as late as 2 a.m. early in the week before the deadline was moved up closer to game day.

"We're not going to be there to get drunk and party, we're going to win the Orange Bowl," senior defensive end Orion Martin said following Monday's practice. (Several other Hokies said later that they had “absolutely no idea” who Orion Martin is nor do they ever wish to meet him.)

In another change from Tech's past bowl itineraries, the team will move from its original hotel headquarters to an undisclosed site the evening before the game to give the players a little privacy.

"I remember last year the night before the game there were people everywhere," Martin said. "I think I went down to get some snacks or something, something to drink, and I had to sign like 10 autographs. It was a distraction, you know. It's going to be good to get away somewhere else, somewhere where there's peace and quiet."

BAD SANTA? The Sixers acquired former Duke star Elton Brand in the off-seasons with high expectations. So far, it’s not working out as planned. Philly is off to a bad start at 10-14 and currently riding a five game losing steak at home which led to the firing of head coach Maurice Cheeks.

Here Brand poses for a photograph with children attending a holiday dinner hosted by the Philadelphia 76ers at Dave & Buster's restaurant December 16, 2008 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

According to TheACC.com, North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough has been named ACC Player of the Week, while Florida State's Chris Singleton earned ACC Rookie honors.

In earning ACC Player of the Week honors for the 10th time in his career, Hansbrough scored a game-high 26 points and added nine rebounds, a blocked shot and two steals in North Carolina's 100-84 win over Oral Roberts Saturday in Chapel Hill.

In producing his 60th career game of 20-or-more points, the Poplar Bluff, Mo., senior was nine-of-18 from the field and seven-of-eight at the free throw line as the top-ranked Tar Heels ran their record to 9-0 with the win.Hansbrough's 10 ACC Player of the Week selections are the fourth-most in ACC history.

Duke's J.J. Redick (2003-06) and UNC's Antawn Jamison (1996-98) are tied for first with 12 ACC Player of the Week selections, while Wake Forest's Tim Duncan (1994-97) is third with 11. NC State's David Thompson (1973-75) is fifth with nine selections.

Singleton scored 11 points and pulled down three rebounds in 31 minutes of action as Florida State posted a 62-57 road win at Georgia State Saturday.

In earning the award for the first time this season, the Dunwoody, Ga., freshman made good on four-of-five from the floor and added one blocked shot in the Seminoles third road win of the season. Singleton is currently third among all ACC freshmen in rebounding (7.6) and fifth in scoring (9.8).

The 2008 NCFAA Contributions to College Football Award was presented to Florida State's Bobby Bowden at The Home Depot ESPNU College Football Awards last Thursday night at Disney's BoardWalk at the Walt Disney World Resort.

Bowden, who is in his 33rd season with the Seminoles, was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2006 and has 381 career victories, making him the second all-time D1 coach.

"You'll have to excuse me if I'm a little emotional," ESPN's Lee Corso said after the video tribute to Coach Bowden. "This man and I have been friends for 51 years when he was at South Georgia Junior College and I was the Florida State freshman coach. I will never forget all the friendship and all of the things you've done for me all of my life. You've been a role model for a lot of us coaches, Bobby."

The NCFAA is an association of all the major awards in college football and the "Contributions" award is presented to recognize the exceptional contributions to college football and a lifetime of achievement and integrity. This the seventh year for the award and previous honorees have been Coach Darrell Royal, sportscaster Keith Jackson, Coach Tom Osborne, Coach Vince Dooley, Chuck Neinas and Coach Frank Broyles.

More than 40,000 UNC fans are expected at the Meineke Car Car Bowl in Charlotte, as the school sold its allotment of 22,000 tickets and many others have bought directly from the bowl and from Ticketmaster, the school announced today.

Former Auburn and NBA star Charles Barkley has been known to speak his mind. Yesterday was no different, when the Round Mound of Rebound made it clear that he believed race was the primary factor in Auburn’s hiring of Gene Chizik to replace Tommy Tubberville as head football coach.

“I think race was the No. 1 factor,” Barkley told ESPN. “You can say it’s not about race, but you can’t compare the two résumés [Turner Gill and Chizik] and say [Chizik] deserved the job. Out of all the coaches they interviewed, Chizik probably had the worst résumé.”

It’s hard to argue the resume point. Turner Gill is the University at Buffalo’s coach who took over a fledgling program in 2006. The Buffs had won 10 games the previous seven seasons before capturing their third MAC Championship this season with a win over previously undefeated Ball State.

The other interesting candidate was Rodney Garner, an Alabama native, former star player and assistant coach at Auburn. Garner is currently a highly regarded assistant head coach at Georgia where he’s considered a master recruiter.

And then there’s Chizik who’s on a 10-game losing streak as part of a dismal 5-19 record at Iowa State. Huh?

Barkley said he was “shocked” by the hire and it’s easy to see from where Sir Charles is coming. Was race a factor? Probably. But at the same time, it probably wasn't the only factor.

Now, this will start the debate again about Afro-American coaches in the NCAA’s D1 football. There are many fewer black coaches than there are black people in terms of relative population in the U.S. When you consider the number of Afro-Americans that participate in the sport and then count the number of coaches, the numbers are obviously disproportionately low. Same is true in the NFL.

So, let’s set aside the issue of acting responsibly even though any institution of higher learning should be mindful of all of these issues. And feel free to admonish Auburn, we aren’t here to defend them. They should have been a bit smarter or, at the least, a bit more sensitive to the issue. We’re just gonna take a broad brush look at, as we say here at TAH, “why things are...”

We’ve always been white and we aren’t worldly enough to have a great deal of expertise on this subject, but we’ll take a stab. We aren’t convinced that the trend line on race or cronysim is a grand conspiracy so much as a local issue. Each school, and each school’s administration, is a reflection of the folks that are running the place. Sixty-year-old plus white men in Alabama may be more comfortable with Gene Chizik than Turner Gill. That shouldn’t shock anybody.

That doesn’t make the folks at Auburn who hire a white guy anymore racist than the folks at Grambling who hire a black guy. It’s what some people who were born in the 30's, 40’s, 50’s and even the 1960’s still do. Old habits are hard to break and comfort zones are developed over many years. It doesn’t make it right, but that’s the way it is.

The Auburn brass may simply have hired Chizik because of who they are, where they are, who their primary constituents are (who’s paying for all of this) and what their life’s experience has been up to this point. And the words “up to this point” are key.

Consider this. Why hasn’t Virginia Tech’s Bud Foster ever been seriously considered as a candidate for a major D1 job? He’s white and he’s extremely well qualified. So why doesn’t Auburn consider him? The answer is easy. The folks at Auburn don’t know him. Foster has been at Virginia Tech for so long that other NCAA football decision-makers aren’t familiar/comfortable with him personally or professionally.

Black or white, Foster is a Hokie because he’s been a Hokie, and only a Hokie, for most of his adult life thus limiting his exposure to like-minded decision makers. Somebody at Auburn knew Chizik. They liked him and trusted him. They didn’t know Bud Foster and probably not Turner Gill. The rest is Barkley aggravating history.

It’s a comfort zone issue. If you were asked to present four candidates to run your business, and ultimately determine your job security and paycheck, we wager that if you are white the majority of your candidates you pick would be white. Conversely, if you are black, the majority would be black. If you’re of Latin American, Asian or Eastern European descent we wager the trend would hold steady.

In addition, would you pick candidates you know personally that you know are qualified or ones others recommended? It would seem the answers are fairly obvious. (Again, setting aside the issue of institutional responsibility, you see the point as it relates to basic human behavior and daily frames of reference that impact each individual’s reactions and decisions.)

Yes, it’s slightly different depending on where you live and how old you are. But if you are over fifty and living in anywhere but a big American city or urban area, we surmise the comfort zone is still wrapped pretty tightly around you and yours. You can’t change who you grew up with, or with whom you went to school or church. You certainly can’t change who you work with, unless you’re the boss, and, ultimately, that's the point. The people in power have to be the agents of change.

Obviously, the situation is changing daily in places other than Auburn, and will no doubt change some more come January 20th when Barack Obama is sworn in as the President of this troubled country. Our kids live in a very different world today and most are seemingly color blind. Until they’re running the show, there is work to be done, and old white guys will hire the folks they know and have worked with over the years. Fact is, so will old black guys. It’s what we old guys tend to do.

Change comes slowly, but if Turner Gill keeps winning and Charles Barkley continues to speak his mind, change will continue to come.

LATEST PHOTO OF ILLINOIS GOVERNOR ROD BLAGOJEVICH. Just kidding, but TAH has yet to make a joke at this blundering idiots expense.

Scientists have discovered more than 1,000 species in Southeast Asia's Greater Mekong region in the past decade, including a spider as big as a dinner plate, a rat thought to have become extinct 11 million years ago and a cyanide-laced, shocking pink millipede.

The species were all found in the rainforests and wetlands along the Mekong River, which flows through Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, Thailand, Vietnam and the southern Chinese province of Yunnan.

BACK OF THE PACK. France's horse Doctor Dino, ridden by jockey Olivier Peslier, center - orange silks, is happy to bide his time at the back of the pack in the Hong Kong Vase horse race at the Shatin race track in Hong Kong Sunday, Dec. 14, 2008.

Dwayne Collins and James Dews scored 11 apiece, and Lance Hurdle chipped in 10 for the Hurricanes (7-2) as four Hurricanes scored in double figures for the fourth time this season. McClinton also grabbed a career- and game-high nine rebounds and he posted his third game of the season and 24th of his career with 20-plus points.

BOSTON COLLEGE 69, USC Upstate (Spartans, 3,608 students, Spartanburg, SC) 53 – Junior Tyler Roche came off the bench to register five three-pointers and a career-high 17 points to lead Boston College (8-2) to win over USC Upstate (0-7) before 3,881 fans in Conte Forum.

VIRGINIA TECH 79, Longwood (Lancers, 3,787 students, Farmville, VA) 57 – The Hokies Jeff Allen had a monster game and Virginia Tech used a big run late in the second half to put away Longwood at Cassell Coliseum. With the win, Tech moved to 6-4 overall on the season. Longwood, which saw its two-game winning streak come to an end, fell to 5-5.UIC 66 (Flames, 15,148 students, Chicago, IL), GEORGIA TECH 60 – Scott Vandermeer scored 17 of his 19 points in the second half and Josh Mayo added 11 of his 17 points in the closing minutes to lead Illinois-Chicago.

Jeremy Buttell hit a 3-point basket with 42 seconds left to break a tie and give Illinois-Chicago a 60-57 lead, helping the Flames (6-2) to their fifth straight win. The Jackets are now 5-2.

L.D. Williams added 11 points for the Demon Deacons (9-0), who are off to their best start since winning the first 11 games of 2003-04. Playing its first game after a weeklong break for exams, Wake Forest shot 52 percent and overcame 22 turnovers to beat the pesky Raiders (2-7).

Graham Zusi's second-half goal gave second-seeded Maryland a 1-0 victory over 13th-seeded North Carolina in the NCAA College Cup championship game on Sunday.

Maryland beat North Carolina for the third time in as many meetings this season in the first all-Atlantic Coast Conference final in the 50-year history of the NCAA men's soccer tournament.

The Terps run to the College Cup was led by Zusi (#11) and goalkeeper Zac MacMath who posted back-to-back shutouts in the semis and finals.

Zusi, a senior midfielder provided the scoring puch. Although he went six weeks without a goal midway through the season, Zusi provided the free kick goal that beat St. John's in the second overtime of Friday's semifinal and the second-half goal game Cup winner against the Tar Heels.

Oh, we know what your thinking: What does a robot have to do with bowl week?

Well, for starters she can be programmed to do almost anything (and, according to her creator/boyfriend/agent, with a little software tweak, she can be programmed to do everything (wink,wink). But since the bowl season is getting under way, we will stay within the general scope of the dog on the Bud Light commercials as is “get me another beer, fembot” Even though she is programmed to get hurt feelings, saying please is optional.

Now you know we are pretty opened minded about content in these parts, and we aren’t shy about putting our own mark on a story. But, not this time.

Well…no.

This time we are going to give it to you straight – Just like we got it from TAH Pop Culture Editor Young A.T. via London’s The Sun newspaper:

FEM-BOT’s MY LOVE MACHINE

Inventor Le Trung, 33, created Aiko, said to be “in her 20s” with a stunning 32, 23, 33 figure, shiny hair and delicate features.

She even remembers his favourite drink and does simple cleaning and household tasks.

"Fem-bot" Aiko, who has cost £14,000 to build so far, is a whizz at math and even does Le’s accounts.

Le, a scientific genius from Brampton in Ontario, Canada, said he never had time to find a real partner so he designed one using the latest technology.

He said he did not build Aiko as a sexual partner, but said she could be tweaked to become one.

“Her software could be redesigned to simulate her having an orgasm and reacting to touch as if she is playing hard to get or being straight to the point,” he said.

The former software programmer has taken out credit cards and loans, sold his car and spent his life savings on perfecting the machine.

“I want to make her look, feel and act as human as possible so she can be the perfect companion,” said Le.

The odd looking pair go out for drives together in the Canadian countryside, before sitting down at the dinner table, but Aiko never eats anything.

Le said: “So far she can understand and speak 13,000 different sentences in English and Japanese, so she’s already fairly intelligent.

“When I need to do my accounts, Aiko does all the maths. She is very patient and never complains.”

The fem-bot has a touch-sensitive face and body so she reacts if shown affection or hurt.

“Like a real female she will react to being touched in certain ways. If you grab or squeeze too hard she will try to slap you. She has all senses except for smell,” he said.

PERFECT

Le, a child genius who was put in a class for talented youngsters, made his first robot when he was just eight years old.

He began work on Aiko two years ago in the home he shares with his brother.

But the stress of working on such a difficult project became too much for Le and he suffered a mild heart attack in November last year.

“It was shocking to have a heart attack at the age of 33,” he admits. “But the doctors said I’d been doing too much.

“I may need to have Aiko look after me one day.

“She doesn’t need holidays, food or rest and she will work almost 24-hours a day. She is the perfect woman,” he said.

“People have mixed reactions when they meet Aiko,” he said.

“They either love or hate her. Some people get angry and accuse me of playing God. Once someone threw a rock at Aiko. That really upset me.

“But many people are fascinated by her.

"Women are generally impressed and try to talk to her. But the men always want to touch her, and if they do it in the wrong way they get a slap.”

WHERE IN THE WORLD...?

The way it is...

The way it was...

TAH DAMN GOOD CAUSE OF THE MONTH

NORTHERN HAITI HOPE FOUNDATION: After our recent trip to Haiti, we vowed to do more to help. Clean water is a critical issue for all Haitians. It's particularly problematic for those in rural areas. For $2,000 to $5,000 we can build a new well in a rural village as part of a program facilitated by the St. Barthelemy School and the Warrenton, VA Rotary. Send your donation to Wells of Health and Hope, c/o GPetty-VTA, 38 Garrett Street, Warrenton, VA 20186 and keep your eye on T.A.H. for progress reports. Thanks! CLICK ON THE PHOTO FOR MORE INFO.