Tag / Prayer

Almost a year ago, I wrote a post called “The Substitute” about a friend who subbed in for another friend in the middle of a long difficult trial. It was a very well-received, shared, and talked about post because it seemed to strike a nerve with everyone just as the lesson struck a nerve with me, which compelled me to blog.

I have an update to that post, and it is truly amazing. My friend, the one who was enduring the unending trial, the one who was faithful in the face of very little hope over years of waiting, that precious friend who was tired and weary but straining to hope? That sweet friend has gotten her miracle. Since her friend subbed in and prayed like the trial was 1 day-old instead of thousands of days, the Lord has completely turned the situation around.

My friend’s life, and her family’s life, is forever altered. The seemingly impossible trial is ending in the most miraculous way imaginable. We have seen the victory that my friend believed and waited for over those difficult years. It is humbling and impressive and worship-inspiring to witness.

And I have to wonder, and God only knows, how much the prayers of the friend who subbed in at the point of exhaustion unlocked the miracle.

This summer is already long and hot, and many are facing daunting personal trials. People around us are tired of waiting and hoping and praying. Their eyes are straining from watching for their desperately longed-for miracle.

Maybe they need a substitute.

And maybe that substitute is us.

I believe more than ever that the time we spend subbing in for the ones around us is eternally valuable time. We get to be a part of God working miracles on the earth – turning the impossible into the incredible. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Substitution works.

Lord give us eyes to see the people around us and the burdens they are bearing. Impress upon us the value of intercession. Use us to give people comfort and lead them to You. Use us for your great glory. We don’t want to waste our lives on what is seen, but we want to make a difference in the unseen eternity that awaits us. Thank you for the privilege of prayer, for the privilege of community, for the privilege of intercession. Thank you that our prayers matter even in seemingly hopeless situations.

As most of you know, my husband and I want to adopt. As we have waited for our opportunity, we have felt a strong clear calling is to support and encourage families who go before us in adoption and foster care. Our wait has made us “students” of adoption and prayer warriors for adoptive families. There is so much we did not know before we began this journey – and as our eyes have opened, our prayer life has increased.

One of our previous misconceptions was that the adoption struggle and the adoption story was the process to get a child home. We now know there are two main struggles of adoption, and the initial struggle to get a child home is only part of the story. The first struggle includes the sometimes nightmarish bureaucracy that has to be painstakingly navigated, the many thousands of dollars that must be raised, the process of educating and developing a support system to surround your family in the process, the uncertainty inherent to such an emotionally charged decision, the potential for great pain and even disruption of the adoption, and the logistics of travel or legal processes. This struggle can be simply annoying, or it can absolutely break the hearts of the adoptive family. We have seen families survive difficulties and hurts in this struggle that are the worst-case scenario. We’ve watched God redeem and restore even the most broken.

The second struggle is the process of healing and adapting to the new normal within the family once the children come home. This is not talked about very much outside of the adoption community, because frankly it doesn’t often feel “safe” for an adoptive family to share that there are challenges after the new children get home. The common misconception is that once the child gets home into a safe loving home, the work is done. But it is just beginning. These children from hard places are hurt, often deeply. Even if they are adopted at birth, they may have had prenatal exposure that will impact their ability to connect. Trust needs to be established, boundaries established and enforced in love without the child overreacting, and the people in the home need to connect as a family. None of this is simple. Just like we don’t /poof!/ become completely angelic creatures without sin at salvation, but instead we work out our salvation “in fear and trembling” as we gradually grow more like Christ, so a child doesn’t always trust completely and meld perfectly into the family God has chosen for him instantly at adoption. The work of connection after a child comes home is hard for many of our adoptive families. Occasionally it feels “impossible” – to quote a dear friend who has endured the worst. And they don’t feel free to share that struggle because when they do, they are often faced with people who say “I told you so” or who judge the way the family is handling the adjustment or who judge the child as “broken.” Very few people can be trusted to know the deep struggles that come along with adoption, and not judge or criticize. This creates a situation where the family can be isolated, and we all know that the enemy of our souls works in isolation. So this struggle is often longer and more painful than the first struggle, although there are few articles about it on the internet and few discussions about it over the dinner table. But this struggle remains, and this is a major prayer need of an adoptive family.

We have also seen God work huge miracles in this struggle. We have seen Him make all things new, although that journey can be tough. I recently heard someone say that when God calls families to “visit orphans in their distress” (James 1) it is more often us entering into their pain and distress with them and walking with them to healing, rather than plucking them up out of pain and bringing them into our world of wholeness. It is painful for us and them, but God is faithful.

During these years we have waited, we have intentionally reached out to adoptive families on Facebook and in person to get to know them, to let them know it is safe to be honest with us, and to come alongside them in prayer. It has stretched our faith to walk through the valleys of these two struggles with these families (as much as we are able). But as we have done so – there is a really interesting phenomenon we have noted.

In Ephesians 6, Paul talks about difficulty in our world. He says: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” During the two struggles of adoption, it can seem like you are fighting all kinds of things. It feels like you are fighting a bureaucracy that is fundamentally broken, it feels like you are fighting to advocate for a child that has often been forgotten, it feels like you are fighting against the misled and often false assumptions of others, it feels like you are fighting against societal norms, and it even can feel like, after the child is home, you are fighting the walls in your child as you try to get them to trust you. It can feel like you are fighting the world. But this verse makes clear who you are actually fighting. You are fighting the enemy of our souls, which is why the battle is so difficult.

The Bible says God “sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68). The Bible says that adoption is a picture of our salvation (Romans 8, Galatians 4). The Bible says that God gives special care to the orphan and watches over them as a Father (Exodus 22, Psalms 10, James 1, Psalms 68, Deuteronomy 24). The Bible says that all Christ-followers are called to serve the orphan (James 1, Isaiah 1, Proverbs 31, Matthew 18, Matthew 25). It is clear that the call to adopt, as difficult as it may be, is something we are called to do and God is faithful to provide for and equip the called, because it is important to Him. So of course, if adoption is so important to God, then thwarting it is important to the enemy of God.

One of the things I have noticed as we’ve watched and prayed, is that time and time again, my friends in the adoption world seem to have simultaneous victories and struggles. It is like this fabric across the world is attached to every adoption. And when God breaks through a struggle and works a miracle on someone’s behalf, there is a ripple that goes across the world, and there is a consequence of that breakthrough in many families. It happened again this week. A precious friend’s adoption of a little girl from Haiti finally passed through a certain government office where their adoption had been stalled for months. It was a great victory, and we rejoiced. But on that day, several completely disconnected adoptive families shared with me through different avenues that they had experienced a really difficult day with the healing of their newly adopted child. It was like the fabric was shaken, and it affected everyone. This concept sounds crazy, I know, until you look at the verse from Ephesians 6. If all of these adoptive struggles were separate and not related, then they should not impact each other. But if we are all fighting one enemy, set against adoption, against the lonely finding families, opposed to the healing and connection of a child, then it isn’t so crazy after all.

Not to overdo the imagery, but since I am visual I have also seen this like a dragon who experiences the swipe of a claw against his face. It hurts him, and He swings around in rage, lashing out with his tail at anything surrounding him. He was wounded, so he wounds. That is how I have seen the adoption community this week. It seems connected. God is moving (praise Him) but our enemy is reacting and his goal is to wound. We need to be praying. In a spiritual battle, against an enemy we cannot see but can feel his effects, prayer is our weapon. We know that the Lord has the victory, and we know that He is more powerful, but we also know that for a time, the enemy has some level of authority on the earth. Revelations 12:12 says “Woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!” I believe that the wrath and fury of the enemy is focused many places, but certainly adoptive families are included in that list. I don’t believe those families are without hope (thank you Jesus), but I also believe that we who are not in an adoption process have a responsibility to battle these forces of evil with adoptive families in prayer throughout both of the struggles of adoption, the initial struggle to bring a child home and the secondary struggle to get a child healed and connected. We who stand around these adoptive families must fight our human instinct to criticize and correct, and instead act on our spiritual responsibility to humbly enter into community, acting with compassion and grace, praying as we go.

I count myself humbled, and honored, to get to stand with you families fighting these battles. This week has felt heavy and my prayer has felt especially necessary this week, and my heart cries out on your behalf. I am grateful for each of you. My faith grows because of your sacrifice and your faithful obedience to the call of our Father.

Take heart friends. Just as this past week we celebrated Christ’s victory over death and sin, so this week we stand with you and proclaim Christ’s victory over your struggles. Your children will be made whole because of Jesus, and your family’s struggle will be redeemed. And until that day, we stand with you in prayer.

Jesus be near, give grace, be mighty to save, fight for these beloved children, give encouragement and peace to adoptive families. We stand in simple faith and tell you that we trust you, we are grateful for the victory you promise, and we give you the glory.

Like this:

I have a friend who is in the middle of a very difficult adoption trial. I want to protect her privacy, so I’ll call her M. She is a kind, wise, godly person who loves children, a school teacher, who adopted a little girl last summer (I’ll call E) out of the foster system. Months after bringing E into her home, M found out that CPS had made serious errors in the removal of E from her previous home. Although there was definite evidence of abuse and neglect, these errors have put the adoption of E into indefinite hold just days before the adoption was to be finalized.

E has been bounced around from home to home most of her young life. She has been neglected, forgotten, and abused. Last year she finally got a mommy who had prayed for her long before she knew her. She was safe and loved. She has made strides this year to trust M and to start to let down the walls that she built around herself in her early life. They have walked through some serious trials together and truthfully they are still walking through difficulty. The wounds in E are deep. She’s afraid, and justifiably so, that M isn’t permanent. The therapist working with E has encouraged M that once E’s adoption is finalized, she can really begin to trust and heal.

So not only does this indefinite hold effect M and E because it seems to have the potential to split them up, it is actually delaying E’s healing and making M’s home feel like just another “holding tank” that E has been placed into, not the home of permanent stability and safety she so desperately needs.

It is a terribly difficult situation. M lives in a rural community, works all day with her students, comes home and focuses intently on E and her healing, and then after E goes to bed grades papers until she finally falls asleep exhausted. She does not have much community around her, outside of her family, who “get” what she is doing. She is not on Facebook, attached to the amazing community of adoptive parents that I have been able to meet, and she isn’t in a church that has other adoptive parents.

So the purpose of this blog is to change that. It occurred to me today that I know an army of people who fight for kids like E and moms like M everyday. So I am going to send this blog to every adoptive mom and adoption advocate I can think of and to members of the church who have stood with us in trials. I want people to come in droves willing to pray for M and E, willing to write them letters of scripture and encouragement, willing to stand with them in intercession before God that He would fight for them, give M peace, and heal this sweet little girl. So if you want to join me in this army of prayer support and encouragement for my friend, would you leave a comment, or send me an email at jenniferlwells@me.com? I will send you updates on the situation, and a way to send encouraging “snail mail” and email to M and E if you feel led to send them encouragement and prayers.

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

I believe that together we will rejoice (and I pray it is soon) when the Lord has worked a miracle not only in the case, but in M and E’s home, in the love, trust, and permanency of a family. And until then, Jesus please be near my sweet friend.

Something amazing happened this week. A friend reached out to me with a pretty strange request. She wanted to come meet with me and pray with me in our home. She knew the Lord was telling her to do this and when she called me, I knew the Lord was telling us to do this. I gathered my sister to join us, and called a couple of women around the country to join with us in spirit. We didn’t know what the Lord was going to do – but we knew He had something to do.

All day I felt a sense of anticipation and excitement.

We gathered and prayed – walking through our house. These precious women lifted each member of my family and our struggles to the Father as they walked. They prayed over our home, over our stuff, over where we sleep and eat and live each day.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

We sang in gratitude. We cried in need of God. We spoke scriptures of truth and power over each area of our life and over the center of our home.

Every crevice of our need, and every inch of our house, was bathed in prayer and lifted before the Father.

It was powerful. It was grace. It was church.

This morning the grace continued. Our Pastor preached from Daniel on the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (the three men who were told to worship a false God, but they refused because they were faithful, so they were thrown into a fiery furnace by an evil king. But the fire did not burn them, and when the king looked in to see why they did not burn, he saw a fourth man in the fire. The king pulled them out, repented, and worshipped God because of what he had seen). It was good to be reminded of the fourth man in the fire – Jesus Himself. Our Pastor wept before us as he talked about how near Jesus is to us when we are waiting, in the fire, for rescue.

God not only sees us in our pain, but he joins us there.

But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth— everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Isaiah 43

Justin and I both were moved by the service. We can testify to this truth. We have waited, and while we have waited, Jesus has been near. This week, and that prayer time, was another example of His faithfulness and love for us.

I don’t know why this week is different, but I know it is.

I don’t know how it is a turning point, but I believe that it is.

And I don’t know what the Lord’s plans are for us, but I know they are good.

I know we are loved with an everlasting love.

I know we are free and we have power and grace available to us to have victory in what we are facing.

I will praise Him.

This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says. “I will surely gather them from all the lands where I banished them in my furious anger and great wrath; I will bring them back to this place and let them live in safety. They will be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so the they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them; I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul. Jeremiah 32: 37-43

Like this:

It’s ironic that the very post after the one I wrote about being a substitute, I’m writing this post.

But it’s also entirely appropriate.

I am weary, friends. I’m feeling overwhelmed and a little hopeless, and I could really use a sub.

There’s quite a bit of uncertainty in our world, but there is one area that is really stressing me out. Our house.

Our beautiful house, which we love, where we brought Bekah home when the pear trees were in full bloom, where we’ve seen God bless us in immeasurable ways. But which we really need to sell (and have a sweet peace and even excitement about leaving). Selling would take a tremendous amount of pressure off our family. So our lovely house has been for sale for 8 months, and been shown dozens of times. And with each showing, I’ve prayed as I cleaned and wondered, “Is this the one?” And over time, as time has passed and the showings haven’t led to offers, my hope has gotten a little tattered.

This week, a friend on Facebook sold their house in a week (which is amazing). Someone posted on the note announcing the sale, “That’s the favor of the Lord right there!” I don’t know why – but it took the wind out of me. In writing – my secret fear.

What if we are out of favor? What if this trial isn’t for our good, as we’ve prayed, but instead is because we’re missing something or we’ve done something to deserve punishment? Shouldn’t it be over by now?

Now I know that’s crazy talk – and I don’t live with those thoughts the loudest in my head very often, but this week they’ve been pretty deafening.

So I need a sub. Would someone hope for me this week? Pray for me? Pray that our house would sell? Love me even though I’m a doubter and feel ugly inside? I want to be able to shift my focus wholeheartedly to the amazing provision of the Lord this past year, to the friends who have sacrificed and who have given us support beyond what we imagined, to how far we have come and how much we have survived thus far. All of this is true beyond what I can express. But this week I’m ashamed to confess that all sounds hollow to my ears. I seem to be blinded to anything but this big need. Even though I KNOW He is faithful, I am struggling to believe and hope.

So I’m waving my arms, signaling that I need a break. Anybody want to sub-in for me?

I have a friend who is in the middle of a long, long, intense struggle. One that not many of us are strong enough to endure for a season, much less for years. My friend sees herself as weak, but I’ve watched her in this struggle, and I greatly admire her strength and courage in the face of difficulty.

But like all of us, she is human, and has days where her struggle seems overwhelming.

During one of her moments of weakness, another friend called her and gave her a simple yet profound offer…

She offered to hope for her for a while. She offered to pray with faith and expectation about this struggle for my friend, as if the trial had just begun.

What an incredible offer. It has impacted me for weeks as I’ve processed it. What a gift.

Growing up, I was a soccer player (actually a pretty good one). And there were days, when I was playing someone extraordinarily fast, when I’d motion to my coach that I needed a sub. I loved the game, so I usually only came out when I was about to fall over, but when I was at the end of myself I would sub-out. And as I exited, someone, clothed in a fresh white uniform, well hydrated, with the energy that I had depleted 45 minutes ago, would pass by me, give me a high-five, take my position, and kick butt.

This is what this girl offered my friend. A substitution.

If you’ve never faced a trial for a long time there is a truth you need to know: Hope is hard to maintain. At first, you have this shiny, beautiful hope. You hope for resolution, you hope for restoration, you hope for God to do the extraordinary before your eyes. You’re begging for miracles and you are ready because you know miracles are coming. So you wait and watch to see what God does, all the while praying about this situation that is truly difficult. And nothing happens. So you wait, and you pray, and you hope despite all evidence to the contrary. Over time, that hope can get tattered. Your eyes can get tired of watching (especially when the tears are pressing against them). Your heart can get weary of wanting something so bad you ache. It feels, on your weak days, like hope has betrayed you – like you are the most gullible chump on the planet for actually believing that good is still coming. Praying is hard in that place. You can manage “Jesus, please” a thousand times a day, but you don’t pray like you did at the beginning when you were confident that this was all going to turn out good. You are tired. Tired of feeling weak. Tired of disappointment. Tired of hope.

Now the super holy people will want to jump in here and say “Well, your hope clearly is in a thing and not in the Lord.” And they’d be cold and kinda self-righteous :), but partially right. On my bad days I’ll admit that some of my hope is misplaced, and I’m sure my friend would do the same. But Proverbs 13 says that “Hope deferred makes a heart sick, but a promise fulfilled is a tree of life.” We are made to hope. It is why we pray. It is why we strive. We are often called to so much more than our current situation holds and I think the Lord sometimes puts us in places where we need to rely on Him to rescue us.

So back to my friend. She has hoped and prayed for many years. And into this hurt and exhaustion comes this woman and she offers to, with faith that God can do what He’s said He will do, pray expectantly. She offers to sub-in for a while with fresh hope, fresh perspective, and fresh energy.

My friend was blessed. Heck – she was blown away.

It has really opened my eyes and showed me how much I can do this for people around me.

I want to be the substitute on the “playing field” of someone else’s struggle. I can believe for my friends. I can pray for their situations with hope and faith. I can come beside them when they feel like giving up and I can tell them that I still believe.

I can sub-in.

It has even stretched into my thoughts about finances. How can we sub-in for people in need? One of my Compassion kids suffers from a severe learning disability, and I recently found out that she cannot continue in school because she can’t keep up and her family can’t afford the special school she needs. She wrote me a letter apologizing for her failure (sweet girl – it broke my heart that she worried I’d be upset with her). What she didn’t know was that her letter wouldn’t find me disappointed in her or giving up on her – it would find me believing in her when she has given up on herself. I can sub-in on believing she is valuable. She lives in a slum in India, so money goes a long way there (much further than here in the States). So Justin and I, although we don’t have a ton, may have enough to sub-in for this family and help. So we prayerfully gave a gift and we are asking the Lord to multiply it and use it to substitute for her family to provide schooling for sweet Yohani. They have educated her for 13 years and taken care of her – with God’s grace we can step in for a bit and help take some pressure off. I can’t wait to see what the Lord does.

I love this idea. It excites me. It feels like the church being the family we were intended to be. So if you are tired of waiting, tired of hoping, tired of praying – I want you to know that I am available as a substitute. It is so appropriate as we head into Easter this weekend.

Because that’s pretty much what this season is about – substitution. He took our pain, took our sin, took our death, and gave us His life. What a substitution. And because of that – we can love each other, hope for each other, pray for each other, and give to each other.

There have been many things swirling around in my head this week and I’ve thought “I should work through that in a blog” but truthfully, I’ve just been so very busy I haven’t gotten to it. This week I leave for New York for a show. For the past five years I have produced the annual convention for the National Retail Federation. It is a fun deviation from my everyday job working from home to get to travel and produce a show with retail and business leaders from around the world. I always enjoy it – this is what I used to do as a career and it always stretches me a little bit to step back into it for a week. I try to take my vacation and produce a couple of shows a year to keep my foot in that arena and make a little extra income for our family. All that to say if I am slow to respond to things these days – there has been a reason!

Something appropriate is happening right now that is exactly what I was going to write about today! Right now as I type this Grace is saying “I need my glass slipper” over and over. She has been saying it for about 10 minutes without rest. She is watching her favorite movie, Cinderella, in her Cinderella dress. She has 5 pairs of Princess slippers, and right now one of the glass slippers is missing and she is just devastated. She is missing her favorite movie and driving me crazy repeating over and over her request for this slipper, while there are 4 perfectly good pairs of slippers waiting for her in her room. She’s been doing this pretty often – I guess it is a two year-old thing. She’ll get “stuck” on something and miss fun and joy and life while she is fixated on this one thing wrong in her world. One night last week she was totally fixated on having a glass of milk, and we were out. Justin had made this great dinner, and she wouldn’t eat any of it and cried through the meal because she wanted milk and was angry that we weren’t giving her milk. Everything we tried to do or give her in lieu of milk made her cry. It made what could have been a pleasant dinner a very frustrating experience. As I was watching her I got that uncomfortable feeling because yet again, it made me start thinking again how alike we are.

I keep getting “stuck” on worry or stress or praying for this “one thing” that we need, and sometimes it is like it is this massive wall in front of me blocking my view. And I hate that about myself because I know I am missing joy in those moments where I am stuck. I am not dwelling in gratitude, and I have so very much to be grateful for. I know that God is infinitely patient and infinitely loving, and so he probably is not like me, but I get TIRED of Grace asking repeatedly for one small thing and missing all of the other wonderful things we’ve provided for her. She has food, drink, toys, a home, love, laughter, fun. Why on earth is a missing slipper causing so much drama? I know He isn’t like we are, but don’t you wonder if the Lord ever gets frustrated with our constant desire for more? If the times where I pray and ask and ask and ask and ask for the same thing doesn’t just make Him want to go “STOP and look around you and see what all I’ve given you – there is a reason why this thing that you want isn’t appearing in front of you, and it has nothing to do with a lack of love for you.” Now as a disclaimer, I don’t think that is the way the Lord responds when we ask. Like I said, He’s infinitely more loving than we are and I’m so thankful that He’s more patient as well.

But watching Grace does make me wonder. Matthew 7:11 says If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So if that is true, and I believe that it is, then there is a reason even for the things missing in our lives.

There is a balance to be struck, don’t you think? We are supposed to take our desires, our “one thing we need” requests, our concerns and requests to our God. He wants to hear from us. He knows these “glass slippers” are important to us and He wants us to ask Him for them. But while we wait, while we ask, we need to trust Him to provide and take joy in our lives and live the life we’ve been given to the fullest. There must be a way to wait and yet not “get stuck,” right? I don’t know that I have this concept, or this balance, down. Again I go back to what I am learning as I watch Matt Chandler go through this time in his life. He trusts God. He believes Jesus is all. He knows that God is in control and that it may not be God’s will for him to stay on this earth even another day. And yet he asks for healing. His desire is to walk his daughter down the aisle and to grow old with his wife. So He draws near to God, he speaks His requests, and He trusts God to work all for good, regardless of the outcome. WOW that’s hard. It’s hard to wrap our minds around, right? But it’s right.

Just as parenting teaches me things about God, so does marriage. On a micro level, marriage models the relationship of the church of Jesus Christ to God. As a wife I STRIVE to be submissive to my husband. Yet I am one opinionated lady. So here’s what I do. I draw near to Justin, I communicate with him what I think that I need, and then I rest and trust him to make the wise decisions for our family that God leads him to make. And it is HARD! Sometimes I have to bite my tongue. I have to seriously reign in my nature to take control. But because I love my husband, because I know his heart for me and our girls, I can trust him to make decisions with our best interests in mind.

If you read much of my blog, it always seems to come down to this: I want to trust the heart of my Father. And when I don’t trust His heart, I get into trouble. So today I take these desires, this “one thing” that we’ve been praying for truthfully for years now, and I trust my Father to provide that in His timing and according to His will, and in the meantime, I trust him to use us as we wait for His glory. And I dwell in gratitude for ALL we have been given. I determine not to get stuck and throw a fit for what we don’t have – but to take joy in what we have been given.

And that dadgum glass slipper can stay lost for another 2 years and I still won’t doubt His love for us. Because I know better. My Father loves me, and if the glass slipper is best, He’ll give it to me when I need it most.