Send a postcard to a random address with instructions to forward it to orangeSPLoTCH *

Dial 911 and ask to speak with orangeSPLoTCH, it's an EMERGENCY!!! * †

*

This is an example of a less-effective way to contact orangeSPLoTCH

†

This example is only valid in the United States and is also illegal.
orangeSPLoTCH does not endorse calling 911 for any reason other than in the case of an actual emergency.

Send a message to orangeSPLoTCH

I very much enjoy fan mail, clean jokes, and science fiction stories about visitors coming down
to Earth from another planet.
However, I don't like spam. If you send me spam, I can guarantee you that I won't like it, not even a little bit.