~ Jenn in Real (Mid) Life: Cupcakes, Dachshunds & Auntdom, Oh My!

Category Archives: Auntdom

As many people have been saying, 2016 was the worst. The popular media focuses on the deaths of beloved celebrities (RIP Alan Rickman), civil unrest and the three-ring circus of an election. *Disclaimer- not getting all political here. Also even if I was, this is still my blog, so there! That is all*
Whereas, I would tend to agree there was a lot of junk that happened this year, there was some good too. Regardless, I have been feeling a little blue this holiday.

This year we did not get a little Christmas tree. We are having our living room floors redone and it would have been ridiculous to get a tree only to move it. I thought that I was going to be fine with this, but it made me pretty sad. On the other hand, there is still good things with the holidays- peppermint everything, Ed hung our Christmas lights, my annual holiday vacation. I am trying not to let things get me too down. I have a lot to be thankful for. You know that overly used statement of being “blessed.” But it is true.

How does any of this have to do with the title of this long overdue blog post, you might ask. Well, I will tell you. My mindset has been a little off lately. I may or may not being taking things wrong at times. But I am starting to understand what parents feel when their children grow up. And empty nest parents out there, it sucks.

It is no secret that I love my nieces. They have been my only shot at parenting. I can’t even fathom a life without them. But the last couple years it has been creeping up on me, that they are not going to need me more and more. Within 3 short years, Niece #1 will be off to college. Within 5 years, Niece #3 could be off as well. Then what? I have no idea. I guess I will have to get friends or maybe blog more. To be honest, it terrifies me.

One of the things that I am starting to realize is that some children might be preparing their family for this departure by their teenage years. Not some new profound concept, I know. It has been written about before. Comics do entire sets about it. The attitude that comes with some teenagers is outstanding. And I mean that with the highest level of sarcasm possible.

Last night, I think that I had one of the lowest aunt moments that I can recall. After arriving very late to Niece #3’s basketball game and basically missing the whole thing, I was feeling terrible. I watched these funny, stubborn creature come off the court with her friends and appear to be in the best mood. I even commented to her mom that she was seemingly pleasant. As if she was Dr. Jeykll & Mr. Hyde, by the time that she came over to talk to us, she had changed into the part-time evil 13 year-old that she is. I brought the kid a cupcake and she was still evil. I could find some solace in the fact that she was evil to her mom as well but somehow, it does not.

On top of that, Niece #1 was there, in the same gym but was with her friends and didn’t have time for me. That still stung but, if you are a 15 year-old, who would you rather hang out with? Your friends or your 40 sometimes aunt, albeit super cool aunt. The majority of the time the friends win.

How is this a big deal, you might ask? Really it is not. But I left this scene feeling beaten down. Neither of these amazing girls, who I love more than anything, could have cared less that I was there. I yelled at my poor husband to speed across town to make a portion of the game because I pride myself on being there for as many of these girls’ activities as possible, and it was killing me that I messed up the time of her game. And it mattered to no one but me. In fact, she thought that I had been there the whole game. Ouch kid, that one hurt.

It is going to get worse, isn’t it? I had hoped that 12 & 13 were the worst of the years, but the next few could be equally as bad. Niece #1 could get her driver’s license next year and then I won’t even be needed for transportation. The depression is beginning to spiral now.

I have to admit that I am feeling a little better today. The attitude is universal with those parental types in her life. And she is a teenager after all. And I do think back a couple of months to the same girl who met me outside the night her dog died and cried in my arms. Despite these angst ridden teenage years, I still love this girl. And will still come to every event possible whether she cares that I am there or not. I hope that she will look back some day and realize how lucky that she was to have parents that supported her but the world’s best aunt there every step of the way as well.

And I know that someday, at least one of these two creatures will have to choose my care options when I am old. So this night of heartbreak at a basketball will be a distant memory. One that I am sure one of the involved parties had no awareness of. (Little Chicken, I love ya, attitude or not).

Parents out there. My hat is off to you. What a heart wrenching job that you have undertaken. More power to you all. Hang in there, it seems the good outweighs the bad.

I like to bake. If you have been following my blog for a while you have read about the ongoing Cupcake Projects. I am halfway through Cupcake Project 3.0. I enjoy it mostly because I like to share with others. Truth is, I am not the biggest cake fan.

My friend, Jill, and I took four months worth of cake decorating classes a few years back. It was fun and I learned a lot from it. I have no desire to do it on a regular basis, but it made me appreciate the art of cakes (and those that make them.)

I have obviously made cakes for family members or holidays. My nieces & nephews generally get a cupcake recipe of their choice on their birthday. Occasionally, they will want a cake. Nephew #2 has gotten a few cake & cupcake choices for his birthdays.

Transformer Cake

Perry The Platypus Cupcakes. I loved these!

Niece #1 generally wants a simpler cupcake recipe. She is not a flashy girl. (Thanks, Noodle for making your birthday easy on me.)

And then there is Niece #3. I love this girl. She is crazy & bold. She is bright & colorful. And this year after seeing a similar cake at my local favorite bakery, it was decided that she wanted the Rainbow Sprinkle Cake. Challenge accepted!

The original cake was eight layers and was a smaller circumference. It was beautiful. I must admit, I was in awe of it. So when Niece #3 turned 12 a couple of weeks ago, I knew that it was time for the cake to be made. We had a nice family birthday dinner closer to her actual birthday. Pretty standard for birthdays around these parts. No cake needed. But wait, there is the upcoming friend party. The important party, when you are turning 12.

We agreed that it would only be four layers, because well no one really needs eight layers. Actually, no one really needs four layers either but you got to make it worth the rainbow title. She decided on blue, green, yellow & orange as the cake colors she wanted. I tried to push for a purple or at least a pink. But when the birthday girl has made up her mind, it is done.

I started my journey with a trip to the grocery store. You need eggs etc., to make a proper cake. And you need sprinkles. Nearly 3 lbs of sprinkles to be exact. As my husband will tell you, I tend to over-estimate when it comes to these kind of ingredients at times. However, better have too much, than be running to the store because you ran out of something you needed in the middle of making it. And I have had to do that too…

So last Saturday morning, I got up early. (For me anything earlier than 8 on a Saturday, is early.) And began the task of the Rainbow Sprinkle cake.

The cake process is easy. Have stand mixer, will bake. The dividing of the cake evenly proved to be a little more difficult but I made it work. And let me tell you that the colors you can make with Wilton Gel Color are amazing.

Next I got all four layers baked, cooled and frosting made. And the construction begins.

The nice thing with covering a cake with sprinkles is that your frosting does not have to be perfect, it just has to hold the sprinkles. And oh the sprinkles. SO MANY SPRINKLES!

But after nearly an hour of covering the outside of the cake with sprinkles by hand, we have success! And we have a cake of pure sugar. I must thank my dog, Oscar, for his continued cleaning of anything edible dropped on the floor. I can always count on him to clean up the kitchen. In this case, I am a little surprised that he did not get sick from the amount of sprinkles that he ate. And that he did not shit rainbows for a couple of days after. (Disclaimer-No dogs were involved in the baking of this or any other cake. Other than eating dropped things on the floor, of course.)

I must say that I was pretty proud of the completed cake.

And it managed to fit in my cake carrier just enough to keep it firmly in place. I was slightly worried that it wouldn’t fit, but we made it work.

At the party

Niece #3 was impressed. Her friends were impressed. My sister-in-law was grateful for one less thing to worry about. But the thing that mattered most to me, was that the birthday girl was happy.

Birthday Girl

And I completed another challenge that I made for myself.

The inside. Please excuse my poor cutting job.

And the Rainbow Sprinkle Cake will forever reign in infamy, as the coolest birthday cake ever. Well, at least in my family.

With school being back in, I will sit with Niece #1 and #3 on Mondays, doing their homework. Niece #1 no longer needs my help, but Niece #3 does. And I think that she likes having someone help her.

This past week, we were working on her English homework. The assignment was out of a book that was at least 20 years old, or so it appeared (Way to Go California Public Education System!) On the cover of the book, there was a photo of a cassette tape.

Me- My goodness! This book is so old. I bet that you don’t even know what that picture is.

I am very happy to have him closer to me for the last few years. When #2 was born, his dad was in the Navy and he lived far away. Live throws curve balls and now he lives close by. I have loved the last couple years getting to know him better.

Nephew #2 is a sweet, smart, imaginative little weirdo. (I mean this in the best way possible.) He understands concepts that other kids don’t. All the while, still being an 11-year-old kid. He is creative, sensitive, and can recite any Phineas & Ferb episode out there.

He is a budding geek! WOO-HOO! I am proud to have introduced him to Doctor Who. And he learned to play Magic cards with my husband. He is watching the old school movies with his mom. He is getting into Star Wars too. He is just an all around cool kid.

One of the really special things is the bond that #2 and Niece #3 have formed. They are 2 months apart in age and when they get together, they are definitely partners in crime. I remember loving spending time with my cousins growing up and it is so great to see this.

So Bubba, I wish you an amazing birthday! I hope that you know just how amazing, I think that you are. And I can’t wait what greatness you will bring to the world.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you import women out there. I hope all you moms, grandmas, aunts, dog [or cat] moms are being celebrated today!

Today is a special day to me, for another reason. Today is Niece #3’s birthday. Yes, she was born on Mother’s Day, 11 short years ago. Well, it certainly seems like it has flown by, at least.

#3 is a unique creature. She is the perfect balance of duality. She is hilarious, sweet, and caring but she is also stubborn, short-tempered and infuriating. In short, she is the mini female incarnation of my brother. Like her dad, she is little miss social. She knows everyone. Also like her dad, she can lose it pretty quickly. There is definitely something to be said for genetics.

One of the things that I admire most about Niece #3 is that she has an incredible sense of self. She has more self-confidence that most people. This is something that I hope she holds on to for the rest of her life. She loves colorful clothing. She loves sparkles. She wore her shoes on the wrong feet until she was close to 5 and did not care. She still sucks her thumb and her take on it is, it is no ones problem but hers. I wish that I was as confident as she is.

She is also so incredibly funny. She has perfect comic timing and has since she was little. Not many children understand the concept of sarcasm at age 4. but she did. I can always count on a quip from her that will make me laugh.

She is not her sister. And she doesn’t have the aspirations to be her sister. I never worry that she will live in that shadow [ and wisely because that is a big shadow!] She is her own person.

I won’t say that we do not butt heads sometimes. There have been more than a few Monday homework sessions that have ended with her in a time out on the stairs crying. But I know that she will calm down and bounce back to that amazing little creature that I love.

So #3. Today I wish you the Happiest of Birthdays. I wish you a lifetime of love, happiness. I can’t wait to watch you take on the world in your own special way. You will definitely be the one to “kick butt and take names.” Thanks you for the laughs, for all the cupcake critiques, for all the help that you are always will to give. I love you little blond girl! Never change.

I am gearing up this weekend to make several dozen cupcakes for a bake sale benefitting my niece’s artistic skating club. I am not worried about it, they are all flavors that I have made before. Nothing too fancy or complicated.

Niece #3 is happy that she gets her favorite Lemon Cupcake. She is a funny creature. I see her working in the food industry someday (you know, famous chef or something.) She has an interesting palette and will try most foods; A little different than most 10-year-olds. She likes the more interesting cupcake flavors and she gives honest feedback and has some good suggestions at times. She makes me happy & proud!

I was making my cupcake shopping list this morning and I was reminded of a conversation that she and I had a while back.

(Set up- She had gone to a friend’s birthday party over the prior weekend.)

Me- How was the birthday party?

#3- Good.

Me- Did you have lunch there or any dessert?

#3- Yeah, we had cupcakes.

Me- How were they?

#3- They were just okay. They were store-bought. It was like they weren’t even trying.

I have created a monster. Or perhaps the world’s first 10-year-old food critic.

Today is the 13th birthday of Niece #1. I am in disbelief that this day has arrived. My girl is an official teenager. How does this happen? Where have I been? I have not aged a day…. STOP LAUGHING, ED!

I have a total of seven nieces and nephews. I love them all, but I would be lying if I said that I did not have a special bond with Nieces #1 and #3. I think that this is mainly because I spend so much time with them. Ed and I lived next door to my brother and sister-in-law for the first couple years of her life. She was the first one that I have had around since birth.

To be fair to Nephew #1, he is a very cool person. I am very proud of him. But he came into my life when my brother and sister-in-law got together. I think that he was 7 at the time. And it was so cool to have a kid in the family. Now that he is 21, and on his own. It is a different relationship now. So Ben, Cheers to you!

Anyway back to Niece #1. I have literally watched her grow up for an incredible 13 years now. And I am in awe of her. I dreaded, for a time, her getting older. And there are things about the freckled, toothless 5 year-old that I miss. But she has become such an incredible young lady. I could not be more proud of her in every way.

She is smart, funny, compassionate, caring, athletic and sweet. I don’t miss any of her games in the four sports that she plays, if I can help it. I love that she has known since age 3 that she wants to be a veterinarian. I love that she finds every way possible to keep that dream alive, even in Jr. High. I love that her New Years Resolution was to get A+’s in all her classes, instead of her regular straight A’s. I love that she challenges herself to do more community service than she needs to for school, just so she can help people. I love that she still wants to hang out with her aunt from time to time.

So my amazing Noodle! Happy Birthday! I hope that you always know that I love you more than most anything in the world. And I look forward to the day that you take care of me when I am old. You are truly a beam of light in the world. Thank you for giving me hope in your generation. Thank you for loving my crazy dogs, and taking such good care of them. Thank you for sharing my love of reading, even if you do read faster than me now. I look forward to more pedicures, movies, games, trips and text messages just when I need them. And I am so blessed to know you and be your aunt.

Last Monday was a holiday. Not a major holiday, but I am a government employee so I had the day off. The lovely thing about those holidays is that my nieces generally have those days off as well. It is one of my favorite kinds of days, both Niece #1 and #3 were over and just hanging out; no homework, no agenda [to be fair, we did have to take one of the dogs to the vet but that was a small task.]

The girls and I did a little fun shopping, had lunch and ended up spending the majority of the afternoon taking silly personality quizzes online. You know the kind- Which Disney Princess are you? [Belle], Which Hunger Games character are you? [Peeta], Which Pixar character are you? [half Dory, half Lightening McQueen.] You get the idea. Niece #1 on her iPod, Niece #3 on my Kindle and me on my iPhone. It was a complete and total waste of time, but I loved every second of it.

That afternoon got me thinking about the kind of things that I did like that when I was younger. I guess there was the monthly quiz in Seventeen magazine, which you always took with your friends. But, really there was no instant connection to my friends like this back then. So down the rabbit hole my thoughts went, about all the things that my nieces generation has and all the things that they will never understand about my own generation.

To give you a frame of reference, Niece #1 is a couple of weeks away from being 13 [sniff, tear] and Niece #3 is 11. They have never lived in a world without personal computers, microwaves or cell phones. Helmets have always been required when riding your bike. Seatbelts have never been an optional thing. [Please do not think that I am advocating not using a bike helmet or a seatbelt, I am just pointing out rules.]

They both know what cassettes and records are but have never used these archaic technology. They both have iPods. I was lucky to have a record player as a younger child and then got a mini boom box when I was a little older. They can get songs that they like from simply going to an online store and purchasing the song in about a minute. I help up that mini boom box to the TV during American Bandstand or recorded the radio during the Weekly Top 40 [Cheers to you Casey Kasem and Rick Dees.] All the while hoping that someone did not come into the room or the DJ did not talk over the intro to the song.

They will never know how exciting it was to get a letter in the mail. I am not bashing on e-mail [or texting for that matter], I love it. But the thrill of coming home from school and having a letter from my cousin or the pen pal from another country that I had been writing to is without explanation. That was awesome. The mail was like a potential surprise every day. I still love the mail every day, unfortunately now it has more bills and junk mail than good things. I do still get a letter from Ed’s elderly aunt from time to time, but that is just because she doesn’t have a computer. They are pretty lucky that they can Skype with their friends who moved across the country. That is some amazing technology. I would have probably exchanged letters for a while and eventually lost touch.

Everything in their world is instant. Microwaves heat or reheat their food in a couple minutes tops. The excitement of making popcorn in my dad’s air pop machine has been replaced by microwave popcorn. Cocoa takes a minute, instead of waiting for the water to boil on the stove top.

The concept of missing your friends over Christmas break is not really there. Sure, we had the phone but it was exciting to come back to school after two weeks off and ask what your friends got for Christmas. Now, they are texting as they are opening their presents.

Niece #1 has been doing more research as she is in Jr. High and papers are more prevalent an assignment. She has not true concept of doing research in the library. Of looking up the book in the physical card catalog and hoping it is there. Or using a microfiche to look for old newspaper articles. She laughed at her mom and I when we talked about that growing up. Personally, that was my favorite part. She still does research, but the internet is much more influential.

They don’t really understand the concept of writing a note to your friend in class. And the art of folding them in special ways. They text what they needs to say. I kept all of my high school letters for many years. Sure they were ridiculous records of walking by the boys my friends and I liked in the hall, or some drama that means nothing now. But they were momentos of my childhood. [Any of my high school friends that are reading this and worried about incriminating evidence, can rest assured that I burned the letters at least 20 years back. Your secrets are still safe with me.]

Don’t get me wrong, I love current technology. I am attached to my phone most of the day. I love being able to look up the actor in a show I am watching on IMDB to find out where else I know him from. The DVR is one of my favorite inventions ever. But sometimes it feels like there are parts of their childhood that are missing. Niece #1 had figured out my first iPhone and was making a call to her mom by the time that we left the store. I think that she was 8 or 9 at the time. It took me a few weeks to finally get it all down.

I am sure that there were things that I had in my childhood that my mom reflected on not having when she was younger. I am talking to you, rotary phone. I am not saying that I had to walk to school uphill in the snow every day. I turned out fine and have adapted to the ever-changing world. And someday, perhaps one of them will sit down and think about all the things that their kids or nieces/nephews have, that they didn’t. This is natural progression of technology. But it is nice to think back at all the things that made my childhood special.

So resolutions are half going well, and half sucking…. I clearly have blown the posting a blog weekly. Sorry about that, the last couple weeks were a little stressful. I may write more on that later. All is back to normal now but in the mean time I have blown the weekly goal of blogging.

I am not doing as great on the water drinking as I would like. It is a work in progress…

I have been reading more. I think that I have gotten through 4 or 5 books or novellas so far this year. So that is off to a good start.

And not that you care, but I have washed my face every single night since New Year’s Eve. So take that French women!

Well I will close on that note, turn off this new fangled computer device, and get to my normal life. I guess this reflections means that I am not too old but not young either. I can live with that.

I am fortunate enough to work a flex schedule, meaning that I have Mondays off and then work 10 hours the rest of the week. So, I get to spend most of my Mondays with Niece #1 and #3. During the school year, I pick them up from school, take them to various practices and hang out. I have done this since Niece #1 was in Kindergarten. I love it! It is my parenting time. In the Summer, the girls and I have Summer Fun Days. We will do things like catch all the new (age appropo) movies, geocaching, shopping etc., etc.

Last year, the girls and I had a Fancy Hat Tea Party. We rented big floral hats from a local costume shop. I made scones, and cucumber sandwiches. And we talked in (bad) British accents and were fancy. It was so much fun.

This year, Niece #1 wanted to do a Mad Tea Party. I collect Alice in Wonderland, as a result they love all things Wonderland. I am in! Coincidentally, Nephew #2’s birthday was earlier in July, but he was spending some time out-of-state with his dad, so we hadn’t had the opportunity to have a proper celebration. Niece #1 (who is getting wise in her “old age”) said “Let’s have an Unbirthday Party.” I love this girl!

The girls wrote the invitation and sent me menu ideas. They assigned characters. We were on our way. Niece #1 was The Mad Hatter. Niece #3 was The White Rabbit. Nephew #2 was the March Hare. My sister was the Queen of Hearts. And I was the Cheshire Cat.

Here is the invitation:
Dear March Hare,
You are cordially invited to play
croquet with the Queen of Hearts, Mad Hatter,
White Rabbit, and the Cheshire Cat
to celebrate
your Very Merry Unbirthday
with a little tea and a snack.
Please be in Wonderland at precisely 2:00 pm
on the dot on Monday July 29th.
You don’t want to be late for a very
important date like the White Rabbit
was for our last meeting with the Queen.
See you soon.

Curiously yours

I spent so much money on food, and ran all over town getting supplies, looking for a costume etc. But it made me so excited to have this party to plan.

The day before, the girls sent me a text that Niece #3’s friend was also going to join us. Okay a little adjustment but now Alice will be there too,

I picked up the girls, we decorated, cleaned up the house, made food, got ready. It was the most amazing time. And when the guest of honor arrived, it was all worth it just to see the smile on his face.

We ate tea party snacks, and talked ridiculously. We laughed, and simply had a lovely time.
As I sat there watching these kids, that I love more than most anything in the world, I said a silent “Thank you,” to who or whatever is out there. I would not change these moments for anything. And I am so incredibly grateful and blessed to have these amazing kids in my life. Not only that, but that they live close to me.

If you had asked me about 12 years ago what I would have thought about being an aunt, I would not have had any idea what was going to mean to me. I can honestly tell you that it is my favorite job ever. I am not a mom, so this is the next best thing.

I was a little sad when the tea party was over. I was thinking about how these moments and activities are going to soon be few and far between. The kids are growing up. Niece #1 starts Jr. High this year. Having a tea party will likely not be high on her priority list in the years to come. So I cherish this time, and the things that I get to do with them now. And I hope that they will have these memories of the times that their Nini spent with them too.

I highly recommend having a Mad Tea Party. It will set a good precedent for a great week. Plus cucumber sandwiches and lemon curd are pretty good snacks.

Greetings from Wonderland!

TA-DA!

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