"We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture."
~Reverend Ray Mummert

Friday, October 22, 2010

Friday Hound Blogging

Woooeee! Do you know what time it is? Well, if you're an overlord with a digital watch you do. That whole big hand little hand is way too complicated, you know? We mean, who does that anymore? The overlords have become early adopters of much of technology mostly because they have to. Come on, if it wasn't for GPS the overlords would never find their way back home after a full day of providing excitement and entertainment to social security recipients with cognitive impairments.

Where were we? Oh yeah, time. Well, frequent reader(s) of this blog know the folly of existence...er...we mean know that there comes a time each year when the overlords gather in overlord central to celebrate another year of sucking their meager existence off the backs of innocent animals. Now, people with souls would not know about this if it weren't for the yeoman efforts of Dave Bergmeier, Vice President of Custodial Services at the Abilene Reflector Chronicle Telegraph Press Gazette Times Tribune News Journal Post Dispatch. Oh, and chief reporter too. Dave has taken it upon himself to chronicle the celebration and since what happens in Abeline never stays in Abliene (like most of the residents who have access to transportation) let's give a listen:

Greyhound racing enthusiasts will descend on Abilene this week during fall meet activities. At least those who don't get lost and end up in Wyoming again. Most of the National Greyhound Association’s activities will be at the association's home at 729 Old Highway 40, which is right out past the Seven Eleven across from where the Wal-mart used to be.

Tim Horan, managing editor for The Greyhound Review--which is an actual magazine with words and everything--said the industry faces challenging times, particularly after legislation that could have bailed out the industry again in Kansas fell two votes short of passage. He was referring to a bill that if approved could have led to reopening at least one Kansas race track. Kansas is the greyhound capital and yet does not have any open tracks because even though the most of the people of Kansas enjoy living in the 18th century, apparently they are still smart enough to realize what a losing proposition greyhound racing is.

Horan said even with that disappointment, Abilene will continue to be in the limelight during a week when the industry gathers here.“We are hoping for another good Gold Cup race,” Horan said. "Well, actually it's not really gold," Horan added. "Guccione bought this mug from the Sav-a-Lot and taped some gold wrapping paper to it."

The Gold Cup was popular during the spring race in which owners put up $1,000 for an opportunity to compete in a $40,000 sweepstakes. Kevin and Gina Dalton, local producers*, pocketed $18,000 by winning the spring race. *Ed note: "Producer" is overlord talk for greyhound breeder because we don't want you to think we view the dogs as living, breathing actual creatures or anything. See we're producers, like a corn farmer produces corn. Makes killing them off when they're not profitable much easier. And no, it doesn't bother us that you think we're heartless beasts who are not fully human, but thanks for asking.

Horan said the Gold Cup definitely added to the spice and glamour of the spring meet, if by "spice" and "glamour" you mean most people were wearing shoes that tied rather than the usual velcro straps. “When the lure started around the track everyone was standing and everyone was very interested,” Horan said. "Until that piece of aluminum foil blew across the track and then the crowd went 'Oooo, shiny thing.'"

The fall meet should attract about 400 to 500 people, most of whom were heading for Topeka but made a wrong turn. They stay here locally in tents out by the landfill and eat at local restaurants--well, actually the dumpsters behind the local restaurants--and take in the local events, both of them Horan said. Producers have been impacted by the global recession and the fact that everywhere they go people say "You're ugly and nobody likes you," he said.

The use of internet has allowed some people to watch races and bid via electronically, which is a sentence that makes no sense grammatically, but "via" was on my Word-A-Day calendar today, so by god I'm going to use it. The fall meet also allows many others in the industry to gather in Abilene where they would like to interact with other professionals in the industry, renew friendships and make new friends, but since mostly the same people show up every year they just sit around drinking beer and wondering if they'll manage to stay out of the job market for another year.

“During greyhound week activities many businesses do comment that they do get their regulars from out of town,” he said. "And they tell me they're tired of having to cut up their credit cards, explain why they won't take a check and shoo them away from sleeping in the doorway."

Wow. Good thing you got out when you did, huh Sneakers? You'd be sharing your crate with an overlord by now.

Sneakers is very loving and affectionate. He is always looking for affection. He will lean against you and will put his head in your lap. He is always close to you and likes to nuzzle. He is confident and adventurous. He behaves very well and is very easygoing. He loves to play with squeaky toys. He likes to sleep in small spaces – and can be found sleeping in an open closet. He loves to spend time outside in the yard. He loves to sleep outside in the grass with his feet in the air. He is quick learner. His ears always stand up. His tail curls like a corkscrew. Sneakers would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 5 and up. He is good with medium to larger size dogs and would probably be good as an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

32 comments:

Since everybody is onto this Friday Hound Blogging like "honey to bees", I have figured out at least 65 "key words" for those who can't or don't have the time to trace these clues more than a year ago.Here it comes.This is "fun".

Good Evening, "Ironicus Maximus" and "Followers" of " Greyhound Issues".....I have an "in" with someone quite close to all the "goings on" and according to him , it's way more than the " What - u - si". He has given me such "key words" as TACOMA; TAHOE; SANTA FE; SEDONA; CORAL GABLES; ORLANDO; FORT LAUDERDALE; TAMPA; FORT PIERCE; SARASOTA; NEW YORK; DUBLIN; LONDON; TORONTO; PARIS; IBIZA; SANTA CRUZ; HUNTINGTON BEACH; ROME; ESTORIL; RIO; JUAREZ and let's just leave it at that.I am sure the others will continue all the various seizures and surrenders regarding runners, hookers, retirees, students and all other "professionals" lending a hand, in order to get a "free out of jail card". Happy Weekend.

Well, I think it is important to mention these other extremely well-known areas of smuggling and human misery in the form of child prostitution and human slavery in general, all hidden deep beneath cargos. (And a lot of them die there.)And if they should "survive", they are used until they are disease-ridden and tossed , overborad, or merely chopped into a million parts for "research".BARCELONASAN FRANCISCOMAUISANTA MONICAKEY WESTAnd, of course, where all is said and "done" in Florida....THE EVERGLADES.

Oh..I got a BEAUTY!How about " MR. C'S SEPTIC TANK and SEWER"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Oh come ON!Give it UP!Gotta be another ITALIAN prick under "shit" and they are such a dime a "dozen".NEW YORK.Where else?(Mafia always was so classless and filthy.)

Speaking of which....once again, ITALIANS hatred for social laws and social respect!MOB LAWYER SETH GINSBERG caught "oh so professionally" with illicit weed in his "briefcase"?He is "so professional" he had "no idea" the dope was even there!Furthermore, being the loyal Mafiosa they all happen to be in 2010, he blamed it all on his own brother. How cool is THAT!(where is Tony Soprano when you need him?)He once defended GOTTI JR. but he is so crazed and "gluttonous" (like DOUG PIZZI for all those "chocolate bars") he had a "plastic sandwich bag" of dope!"How did that get there?"(actor he is not!)Well, he got friends in all the "right places" like Charles Carneri, one more mob pal with "the rings".In any case, SETH (rythmning with "death")was visiting GAMBINO SOLDIER THOMAS OREFICE in Manhattan federal lockup who is accused (of course) of recruiting "girls" for underage hooker rings.(You know, the kind SILVIO BERLUSCONI likes in ROME? The same kind LONDONERS like , too?) Think "Castles".So, "you clog them....we clean them"....like when so many get cut up (like garbage) and made of the same kind of stuff that PARKER- GUCCIONE-CARNEY all do?Well, as they say:"Dogs are dogs, afterall."

Speaking of which....once again, ITALIANS hatred for social laws and social respect!MOB LAWYER SETH GINSBERG caught "oh so professionally" with illicit weed in his "briefcase"?He is "so professional" he had "no idea" the dope was even there!Furthermore, being the loyal Mafiosa they all happen to be in 2010, he blamed it all on his own brother. How cool is THAT!(where is Tony Soprano when you need him?)He once defended GOTTI JR. but he is so crazed and "gluttonous" (like DOUG PIZZI for all those "chocolate bars") he had a "plastic sandwich bag" of dope!"How did that get there?"(actor he is not!)Well, he got friends in all the "right places" like Charles Carneri, one more mob pal with "the rings".In any case, SETH (rythmning with "death")was visiting GAMBINO SOLDIER THOMAS OREFICE in Manhattan federal lockup who is accused (of course) of recruiting "girls" for underage hooker rings.(You know, the kind SILVIO BERLUSCONI likes in ROME? The same kind LONDONERS like , too?) Think "Castles".So, "you clog them....we clean them"....like when so many get cut up (like garbage) and made of the same kind of stuff that PARKER- GUCCIONE-CARNEY all do?Well, as they say:"Dogs are dogs, afterall."

Seems like the Mob is even dissing the Mob be it in Naples or be it in the "disater chief" and "czar of garbage" in Italy....GUIDO BERTOLASO!He is chiding the EU for criticizing southern Campania's waste management mess.Gets even better because not only does SILVIO BERLUSCONI want more "corrupt funding and help" after draining the gold chests of raiders of "the lost arks" but so does GUIDO!(Sound like PIZZI-GUCCIONNE to anybody?)Well, if the Italians (like in Tony Soprano) do have that "raping quality" in their genes, maybe they could all sit down and tell us about MADEIRA?"Garbage"?Ya-ya. We know. "Mr. C".But New York "ain't everything".

"The Queen called for a hunter and said to him, "I want you to take Snow White deep into the forest and then kill her. And to prove that you have really killed her, bring back her heart and show it to me.You are to tell no one of this plot."

"There was a very large forest not far from the palace. Usually Snow White was allowed to go to a certain part of this forest, where there were many birds, rabbits and deer."

"They walked for a long time. Still the guard walked on, taking her deeper and deeper into the forest."

WQ - "What is the cause of lightning?"A - "The cause of lightning is the thunder - no, no! I meant the other way."WQ - "It's too late to correct it; when you've once said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take the consequences."

WQ - "What is the cause of lightning?"A - "The cause of lightning is the thunder - no, no! I meant the other way."WQ - "It's too late to correct it; when you've once said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take the consequences."

A - "Are five nights warmer than one night?"WQ - Five times as warm, of course."A - But they should be five times as cold, by the same rule - "WQ - "Just so! Five times as warm, and five times as cold - just as I'm five times as rich as you are, and five times as clever."