Let your child make mistakes : Failure is must for success

Why Letting Your Child Make Mistakes is the Best Thing You Can Do For Them?

You want your child to be happy, healthy and safe. No doubt about it! And yet, those are the exact same reasons why it can feel so hard to let go and allow your little one to make their own decisions and allow them to make mistakes.

Helicopter parenting might make you feel good and give you peace of mind, but it can actually work against your child’s development and their ability to make good decisions. Sometimes you have to let them decide for themselves what’s right or wrong and allow them to deal with the consequences.

Think of it this way. Letting your child make small mistakes while they’re young is like letting them wear a shirt on backward or letting them over toast their bagel, which can help prevent them from making big mistakes when they’re older. Like burning the house down.

Here are some practical reasons why you should allow childhood mistakes into your parenting style :

1. It helps kids in Problem-Solving

One of the best parenting tips in favor of letting your child make mistakes is that it helps them to solve problems on their own.

As a loving parent, your instinct is probably to rush to your child’s protection and strive to make whatever is bothering them disappear. But that isn’t always the healthiest decision to make.

When children get themselves into sticky situations they will sometimes have to get themselves back out of it without help from others. It may take him or her a few tries to get it right, but your child will develop healthy self-confidence when you allow them to figure things out on their own.

2. It Builds Character and Life Experience

Not all mistakes your child makes are going to make you regret your parenting style. On the contrary, allowing your child to make decisions will build character and promote courage.

A child who is never exposed to failure or disappointment will be in for a world of hurt when they first make a mistake. This can lead them to act in unhealthy manner, a manner in which no parent would like to see their child. However, a child who has been allowed to make smaller mistakes early on in life will have a better idea of how to emotionally handle the aftermath.

3. It Eases Stress

Studies show that parent outlook has a direct effect on a child’s behaviour. Basically, if you’re a negative parent, your child may grow up with a negative outlook on the world. If you have a tendency to overreact to things, they may as well.

Alternatively, if you are a positive parent who looks for the good in people, your child may also pick up on these more admirable qualities.

This research makes it clear that the way you behave can have an impact on your child’s views.

A study done by the National University of Singapore found that helicopter parents are doing a major disservice to their children. Their research suggested that children of helicopter parents are more likely to experience anxiety and depression.

By changing your parenting style and allowing your child to think and act on their own, you contribute to their healthy sense of self.

4. It Opens the Lines of Communication

While you don’t want to be your child’s life-coach for the rest of their years, you do want them to know you’re there for them.

One of the best parenting tips for any occasion is to ensure your child knows they can talk to you. Communication is essential for any relationship in life. When your child makes mistakes, open the lines of communication by discussing mistakes you’ve made in the past. Doing this will reassure them that they are not alone and that everyone makes mistakes in life – but it is how you deal with your decisions moving forward that builds character.

5. Learning to Deal with Disappointment

Parenting tips about ceasing your helicopter ways will all say that in order to let your child grow, you have to let go. And part of letting go is letting your child make decisions that might disappoint them.

You never want your child to feel sad or let down, but you can help your child navigate such emotions by explaining that everybody experiences these feelings every once and a while. Remind them that such emotions are normal.

Encourage your child to make a game-plan for the future so that they will not experience disappointment. Perhaps they are sad because they did poorly on a test. Remind them that they would be happier if they put in the effort to study beforehand. This helps reinforce action and consequence.

6. It Allows Your Child to Practice Decision-Making

Children won’t always have to learn from their mistakes in order to see the right decision – but sometimes, it helps! Once your child has made a mistake, they will quickly catch on that their actions have consequences.

By providing practical advice and allowing your child to live it for themselves, you can train your them to make good decisions.

7. Teaches YOU to Use Your Best Judgement

Allowing your child to make mistakes isn’t about hurting their feelings or being able to say “I told you so!” when they make the wrong choices. It’s about helping your child develop problem-solving skills and improve their powers of reasoning through a decision.

Of course, you would never want to allow your child to make a mistake that would cause real harm. Letting your little one wear a pair of shorts in the dead of winter is much different than allowing them to stick a fork in the toaster.

Use your best judgment when it comes to letting your child make decisions. Let them know that there are consequences for mistakes, but never let this lesson come at the cost of their personal harm or emotional scarring.

“Sometimes the right parenting tips are also the hardest ones. You want to protect your child, but you aren’t always going to be able to make decisions for them. By allowing your child to make their own mistakes, you are teaching them valuable life-lessons about making good decisions that they can take into adulthood.”

I would like to thank Rachael for this guest post, a post which has the same belief’s as what I, as a parent do!

[About Rachael : Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages]

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Jhilmil

Quest to live the life surrounded with the charming little bundle's of joy. When they speak, I sing, When they smile, I rejoice , When they hug, I hold them never to lose, Such is my passion for these Gifts of God.

This love urged me to navigate separately from my Travel Blog & establish an "All-In-One" Blog for budding mothers. Mum's have multi-tasked this world ,with all her professional commitments , she still makes an extra effort to be a loving, caring and be an intellectual mommy! Cheers, for me too come from the same fraternity, post having a superb academics & close to 8 years of professional experience and blessed with a little one "who has indeed changed my life from Autumn to Spring";)

19 Comments

Lovely post. I completely agree with you. It is very important to allow our children the chance to learn from their mistakes. As they say “Failure is the stepping stone to success”. With each mistakes we make, we learn new chapters of life which helps us to build a better future for ourselves.

Well, I believe that things learned the Hard way i.e. from a mistake are remembered for a longer time, and, infact, turn into a positive habit. You have correctly pointed out the benefits of letting children learn from mistakes. However, I also think that we should always keep our eyes on them to make sure we don’t let them make a mistake from which is there is return.

Indeed, we have to keep a watch while they make mistakes, and also help them if they need us. The objective is to help them understand the real challenges, failures so as to make them more resilient and emotionally strong as they grow.

I wish all parents could think like this! In my life I always take my own decision. It may right or wrong but it is all mine. We should ask the child his/her opinion. It will help them to be a responsible person in life. My kid is 3yrs 10 mnths old now. But I practice the same with him. I ask small small things but it will help him in future I know.

Another good and informative one Jhilmil. Parents will learn from this post.

Some wonderfully worked out points for kids to grow up to be successful individuals. Although I firmly believe that success cannot be defined, I think if we are able to rear a happy gen nex, that’s success for them n also for us.

I love the issue that your article is addressing! Parents get so caught up in model behaviour, they forget that they are bringing in self-doubt in the child’s mind. I’m so glad someone has spoken about this.

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About Me

Jhilmil Bhansali

Hey, Welcome! I’m Jhilmil, and my sweet little blog is all about Cherishing Parenthood, Raising munchkins, Wellness and Healthy Lifestyle and yes, It will be a strong voice for “Womanhood”. Living in the country of Diversity India.