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We are bombarded with so much negative information that a place to focus on what is positive is like a breath of fresh air.
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Monday, August 9, 2010

It was around 1990 when I first noticed it. It was like a wind chill blowing through the summer air. It was then that I noticed black boys turning to white girls for mates. They actively sought out the company of a white girl to the exclusion of a black girls. In my growing up, we did not seek out a certain color and reject our own color. This was not even thought of. We liked people because we liked them; we tended to like people who looked like us too. At the time, I had no interest in a boyfriend - black, white, or any other color. Also the age group that was seeking out white women tended to be 10 years younger than myself. Up until this time, I had never paid any attention to the availability of black men for black women.

Part of me thinks that the mid 70's through 80s young generation experienced a great disappointment with their black mothers and/or were surrounded by black girls who did not know how to be ladies. The image these black boys had of black girls was tarnished. Also, the portrayal of light to white skin as the preferred skin color- even in the black community- helped to lay a foundation for the coming preference change by black men. The greater the African features in a black girl, the less likely she was to be approached by a black boy. However, the same girl would be very attractive to an African who came from Africa to live in the USA. His basis was the African standard of beauty not the European. To him, black is beautiful. Another major factor in the preference for white women has to do with sex. Black men see white women as more adventurous sexually and perhaps more skilled at certain sexual activities.

Unfortunately, it is a necessity for black women to date outside of their race today or else they just may be left without a partner or end up with one they would rather not have. A white man may not be as visually appealing but the most important thing is that he will most likely treat you like a queen. Also, be open to any color, not just white or black. I know we want to stay with the black man but face it ladies (those of you in your teens through 30s), they do not want you. If you find yourself not able to date your preference, step outside of your comfort zone. You just may be surprised.

I want to give a shout out to the black men who still see the beauty and value in black women and who are proud to have one as a partner. I also want to say that I have dated a white man before but I did not seek him out nor did he seek me out to the exclusion of our own races. He happened to make me laugh and I saw past his skin color. His color did not determine whether or not I would have interest in him as a partner.