Friday, February 25, 2005

Well, I almost had a literary awakening. More like I realised how lazy my brain is nowadays and how I used to enjoy being a student, sitting in circles discussing books at length. (Not that I did much discussing of books last night, but I got to laugh at stupid questions other people asked, which I recall is an echo of my behaviour in student seminars too).

Margaret Atwood last night was great. She's very small but you get the impression that behind her physique is a great power ready to unleash. It really surprised me when I arrived in the tiny bookshop to turn around and find she was right behind me in the corner sat crosslegged on top of a table surrounded by piles and towers of books.

I also got to meet Katia and Sierra which was great. I hadn't discovered Sierra's blog before and Katia has already posted a super photo of Margaret esconced on her table. Learnt that Katia's discussed fear of moving to the UK is more specifically about the prospects of Leamington Spa. As coincidences go I lived there for 2 years in my student years and tried to allay some of her fears. I also forgot to tell her the park there is fantastic - I will tell the story of the snorkelling duck one day.

Having already lined up a dinner date with the frog (to give him my free marketing consultancy on his champagne communication plans) I didn't get to spend more time with the girls, which I would have liked to have done. So will have to save those conversations for March 11th.

Will be offline for the next few days as we're back to Reims to sign papers and then Sunday I'm travelling to London for work Monday, Tuesday. No chance of escaping the cold there either!

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Someone once told me you know you're getting older when doctors seem young. Let me say the same about estate agents... the majority were under 25 I'm sure of it.

There is an unofficial estate agent dress code of pinstripe trousers.

Flat hunting can lead to loud and emotional arguments with other half. Leading frog to realise that the mostly phlegmatic anglosaxon is not always so.

Estate agents don't half like to blather on about nonsense they know nothing about. I don't believe that's an exclusively French habit.

Even houses with completely gutted interiors are expensive.

French people with Italian origin win the prize for most ostentatiously ugly interior decoration.

It should be illegal for people to burn sweet vanilla candles and oils in their home.

Paris and Reims apartments have very small bathrooms. Leading me to make many comments about the smelly French which make only me laugh. And no matter how many times the frog refers to "la douche anglaise" (quick spray with deo) will he make up for that.

Flat hunting with Mother Frog in tow has its benefits - when she loves the same flat as you do, Frog has very little chance to get a word in edgeways.

Flat hunting with Mother Frog has its downsides - like when she announces to Frog "well, you'll be spending most your time at home with us anyway".

The frog is a numbers geek. This is probably a good thing since I am absolutely inummerate to the point of embarassment. I struggled with maths all through school and still have friends I call up for secret help when I have problems at work managing my budget and marketing calculations...

As I said to the frog last night - you do the numbers and i'll do the smart ideas and we'll be fine.

So - we are looking for a mortgage for the new flat. Most people go and meet the bank to do this and ask the man behind the desk for a quote then compare around different mortgage offerers.

Not the frog. The frog sends me this email today:===I've just finished my excel spreadsheet showing a simulation table regarding our loan. Just a few instructions to use it properly:

1.fill in the assumptions boxes in above table2.type in 0 on the Ech n°1 (cell with blue font)3. go to the far right cell of the line whose Ech n° corresponds to the one you put in in the assumptions table.4. Make a goal seek on that cell (menu "Option", "valeur cible" in French). It must equal 0 by changing the cell in 1. (the one with the blue font)5.look at the column saying "Montant Echeance" to know what we'll pay per month.In the file atached, my assumptions are: we borrow xk euros at 3.75%pa and to be paid back in 20 years. The result is x euros per month roughly.

Call me if you need assistance to use the table.====

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I just almost fell of my chair.

But the really scary thing? The mortgage calculations that he has shown for each year of the loan take us to 2025. I guess that's what they call commitment...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

So I am still jumping around at the excitement of our new flat. The funny thing is I came to Reims on a weekend with a group of girl friends 18 months ago (era pre-frog) and had a great time... and now I'm going to live there.

Reims is about one and a half hour's drive (if the traffic is okay) north east of Paris in the region Champagne Ardennes. The region is of course famous for its Champagne and that is what the Frog will be spending his time working in the family business.

Frog family live in a village 20 mins north west of Reims.... the village has 558 habitants and we felt we weren't quite ready for that big a move. Reims itself is a lovely city with a large cathedral including windows designed by Chagall and is the location where the Kings of France were crowned. Oh, and it's also where the Nazi's surrendered to Eisenhower 60 years ago.

Our flat is right in the centre of Reims on a little side street opposite the Palais Justice & Theatre. I spent last night moving into the flat in my head.

Hoorah, Hoorah, Hoorah. I expect that the next couple of month's dealing with the notaire may quash my excitement somewhat but I cannot wait till May when we move!

Friday, February 18, 2005

The best film and evening at the movies I've had in a long time. And I have to say sorry today to the Frog who I disbelieved when he told me that Virginia Masden was Michael Masden's (Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill 2) sister.

Despite the fact I spent most of the film desiring a large glass of wine, we didn't quite follow through by going to Quick and having a Supreme Cheese meal ... although if if I'd had a bottle of the Cheval Blanc I would have happily swapped that for the diet coke.

No I'm not talking about Valentine's night (which was a very chilled evening à deux on the sofa with DVD, paté on toast and cup of tea!), nor the dinner I have tonight with the visiting Mother & Father Frog...

... I'm talking about the fab film I watched last night.

The "con" of the film, Jacques Villeret, died last month and reading press about him I realised I had still not seen this classic comedy. So since con is also one of my favourite words - in this context the meaning is just a little stronger than 'idiot' - last night I settled down to watch.

The context of Diner de Cons is that a group of bourgeois parisiens every Wednesday night each invite a con to a group dinner. The goal is that by the end of the night there is an unsuspecting 'winnning con'. Of course, one night it all goes wrong and the fabulous Thierry L'hermitte (Monsieur Brochant) ends up stuck with his con, Jacques Villeret's character, François Pignon.

M. Pignon works for the tax department and has a personal hobby of recreating monuments of great engineering in matchsticks. Quickly into the film it becomes apparent that this con holds M Brochant's only chance of getting his recently exited wife back.

I spent last night really belly laughing and may have to buy the DVD for repeat viewing.

In no way does this encourage me to go and see Villeret's final film with the awful Michael Youn.

The reason for this is that I am unable to wear my one winter coat because said coat is on its way to the tailors to be mended.

The coat is suffering because it had much too much fun at Aaron's fantastic party in Amsterdam.Having partied like Saints & Sinners (as the party was themed), I tottered out at 3am on my 3 inch "bad angel" heels, supported by an equally squiffy french devil.

Since this bad angel was feeling 'tired & emotional' the devil offered to carry me on his back along the canal as we made our way back to the hotel.

I'm sure there is some moral to this story about never accepting a ride from the devil because when he decided that I was too heavy to go any further I was unceremoniously dropped to the floor. Wobbly bad angel couldn't control, balance, heels or cobbles so went arse over tit. End result, a grazed knee, ripped coat and giggling me on the floor.

Recovery from my hangover will be quicker and cheaper than mending the coat and broken heel!

ViVi & Tracey have created a fantastic gift exchange. I'm very excited as I'm paired up with someone from the Upper East Side in NY, just a few blocks from where I used to freeze my arse off waiting for the cross town bus every night!

What can I expect in my little gift package I don't know... but I do know that I miss Reese's peanut cups, cinammon flavoured gum and 'smores. I'm upset that i'm missing the Christo work in Central Park this month, however, I guess a Knish Dog or pastrami & chopped liver sandwich on rye from Artie's wouldn't travel so well...

The reason Frog thought that Meuf was funny is that it is not Standard French or even just slang but Verlan.Verlan is a type of slang that came from the suburbs... and it can have a rather "low'" connotation.

Its form is interesting though because it's a bit like pig Latin. Except that the French actively use it. I discovered it through MTV (one of my prime language resources).

The following has been taken from one of my favourite resources, About.com - it also has an "essential" Verlan vocab section*.

To "verlan" a word, simply separate it into syllables, reverse them, and put the word back together. In order to maintain the correct pronunciation, the verlaned word often undergoes some spelling adjustments. Unnecessary letters are dropped, while other letters are added to make pronunciation logical. There are no real rules for this; it's just something to be aware of. Note that not every word can or should be verlaned; verlan is used essentially to emphasize or hide the meaning of the main word(s) in a sentence.

Let's start with the word l'envers, which means the reverse. Separate l'envers into its two syllables l'en and vers. Invert them, put them together into a single word, and then adjust the spelling:l'envers... l'en vers... vers l'en... versl'en... verslen... verlen... verlanThus, you can see that verlan is l'envers pronounced à l'envers (reverse pronounced in reverse).Let's try another example: pourri... pou rri... rri pou... rripou... ripou

The above examples are pretty simple, but verlan gets more complicated when it comes to the e muet, which is a very important sound in verlan. Words that end in e muet (like femme) and words which end in a pronounced consonant and which usually have an e muet sound tacked onto the end (like flic, which is usually pronounced flique) retain the sound of the e muet when they are verlaned. In addition, when the syllables are reversed, the resulting final vowel sound is sometimes dropped.

Verlan was invented as a secret language, a way for people (notably youths, drug users, and criminals) to communicate freely in front of authority figures (parents, police). Because much of verlan has become incorporated into French, verlan continues to evolve - sometimes words are "re-verlaned." Beur, commonly heard in the 1980's, has been reversed again to reub. Keuf has been re-verlaned to feuk, with a bonus - it now resembles a vulgar word in English.

*Remember that verlan is a form of slang, so use caution when talking to someone you vouvoie.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Ellen MacArthur a 28 year old Englishwoman has just broken the solo sailing round-the-world record. She beat the previous record (by a frenchman) by one day, eight hours, 35 minutes and 49 seconds.

What an incredible feat. And I truly mean incredible - 71 days, 14 hours, 18 minutes and 33 seconds alone on the seas.

The news came that she will be made a Dame. And as she sailed into port to crowds of wellwishers, the British press began what we do best.

Extract from The Guardian today where they listed everybody queuing up to knock her.

Just one example :

============
Bob Fisher, the Guardian's sailing correspondent

Ellen is a difficult person to empathise with. She moans and whinges the whole bloody time, so many people, quite understandably, are of the opinion that, given that she knew what was in store for her, she should just shut up and get on with it. There's also the fact that she's such a lone operator. I don't think she has "friends" as such, although she does have admirers - most of them French. There's never been a thought in her mind about sailing with a crew. She's always gone solo. That's just the kind of person she is. There are a lot of people in the professional sailing contingent who wouldn't sail across the Solent with her. They feel what she does is sailing by numbers - it's a mechanical achievement rather than a skilful one.
=========

Although, I do like the line "she does have her admirers - most of them French"...

I grew up with my Mum & younger sister in Dorset, my grandma lived just down the road

I have a half brother from my Dad's second marriage

My brother is 14 years old and lives in London with his Mum

My brother and I look more like each other than my sister and I. That's because we both have large noses. He hasn't developed the complex yet.

My mum is 7 inches shorter than me - I grew up thinking I was a giant freak. I never realised it was her who was the abnormal one ;)

All sides of my family have blue eyes

I can say "My name is Anna", count to ten and manage to order in a market in Hindi

I used to play the oboe and the cor anglais. I became quite good but my mum said listening to me learn was like listening to a cow in pain.

I played in the Dorset Youth Orchestra and spent weekends and holidays on residential courses at a very expensive boarding school which had the biggest cockroaches I have still ever seen. That put a seal on my opinion of private education.

My Mum is a teacher in a comprehensive.

I used to go the school where my mum teaches. Luckily she only started doing the sex ed classes after I left.

My sister works in publishing and I am not allowed to write in my blog all the reasons why I think she resembles Bridget Jones.

Her current "boy" is the editor of one of my favourite authors. I am not allowed to tell her I think this is one of her greatest accomplishments yet ;)

I scraped a"C" in A level French because I never concentrated on the grammar. Plus ça change...

I moved to New York to work for 2 years when I was 27 years old, I lived on the Upper West Side and discovered the joys of Jewish Delis

I learnt to rollerblade in Central Park

I was living in Manhattan on 9/11/01

After working in India when I was 18 years old, I travelled on my own for 2 months and freaked my mother out. She said she has vowed never to worry so much over me again.

I since travelled on my own to Egypt & Thailand. I liked travelling alone and meeting new people but am happy now I've found a frog as travelling companion.

I used to think I wanted to work in the theatre as a producer until I decided that I couldn't bear to spend my life around actor types

Instead, I now work out new ways to market soap, pasta sauce & washing powder

I tried working out new ways to market software, hardware and business services but it wasn't as much fun

Because I have moved around in the last 13 years most of my friends are around the world.

I have some good friends in Paris but miss my girl friends in NY & London

I used to have a nose stud

The first time I went skiing I broke my wrist and the first time I really snowboarded I tore part of my knee

General consensus is that I am rather clumsy

Happily, even though the frog is very sporty he matches me in clumsiness (I am not allowed to mention his rollerblading dark tunnel incident anymore)

When the ambulance came to pick up the frog at exit of the dark tunnel, even though we'd been seeing each other for 3 months I didn't know his address to tell the ambulancemen. I got a distinct 'you English floozy' look from the men.

The frog and I plan to move to Reims in May this year. My biggest worry is having to see films dubbed in French.

Friday, February 04, 2005

I stretched and zenned myself at yoga last night then screwed up all those hithertoo relaxed shoulders when I was told to rewrite a "point of view" document for the 4th time today. (How can it be called a point of view if I keep being asked to change it?)

Plans for the weekend include (starting 17h30 tonight):

Tarot game at frog's friend's appartment with dinner

Lie in (I love the french for this that literally translates as "fat morning")

Drink with an old Dutch colleague from my NY days who is in town for the weekend

Big shop at Carrefour (I work in packaged consumer goods and will spend my time rearranging our brands neatly on the shelf). I was excited last week to find in their "foreign food" shelves that they have packets of Ginger Nuts. My 'no biscuits at home' rule has been thrown out the window.

Cooking in our new funky oven (the Jamie Oliver Lemon & Garlic Roast Chicken with potatoes last week was a winner)

Take my lovely skinny Paul & Joe jeans that I got in the Sales to the tailor to take up the 10 ft long legs (I'm 5'8"... just think if I was a petite française) Once the jeans go on though I have to refrain from eating. Which is why they may not be my smartest purchase.

Finishing the fantastic Small Island by Andrea Levy.

In precisely 50 mins I can be found running for freedom across the St Ouen streets...

Thursday, February 03, 2005

I discovered last night that White Van Man is not just a British phenomenon following a narrow escape when I was nearly hit by a speeding mini van.

Exiting the office in St Ouen I waited patiently by the pedestrian crossing that links our office and the RER station. Miraculously, the approaching car slowed down to allow me to cross. Another car slowed down behind him and I made my way across the small street. However, a few seconds later approaching White Van Man decided to swing out from behind the the two waiting cars, move into the opposite lane and accelerate towards me.

Coming face to face (or rather windscreen to face) my adrenaline rush was such that - and I am sooo proud of this - I naturally swore at him in French! Yay for Putains! He sat in his van waving his hands and shouting silent obscenities at me, I waved my arms back, glared and then carried on my way home.

We're now exiting that time of year when people sent their "round robins" to all the people in their address books. This is the annual letter from friends and family that updates you on them and their nearest and dearests' achievements and news.

(Simon Hoggart has written in The Guardian about the worst kind of letter this can generate.)

However, with the advent of Blogs and the fact that in the US

Blog readership jumped 58 percent between February and November, and comprised 32 million U.S. citizens in 2004. More than 8 million U.S. citizens have created a Web-based diary, and one in 10, or around 14 million U.S. Internet users, has contributed thoughts or comments to a blog.PC World (and we know that Europe is only a few steps behind the US on technology uptake)

does this mean that Round Robin letters are going to be a thing of the past?

I choose to now update my family via the blog. Does this mean that there will be fewer round robins? I know I'm already writing less emails to my closest family as I just expect them to point to this address and get the weekend update.

Another custom lost I suspect. More blogs with torrid family updates anticipated.

About Me

Born in South West England I didn't even move house until the age of 18 years. Then chose to spend the next 18 years in India , Italy , London, New York, Paris and Reims. Now I'm back where I was born, in Poole. Speak several languages really, really badly. Met a Frog in France. Had two froglets. Our friends and family are far flung.