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Unfortunately, my nurse is making me wait until tomorrow for my beta since I’ve been out of town.

That’s a long time! I’m really hoping for strong betas and a strong heartbeat in a few weeks.

I’m getting decent lines so I think (hope and pray) they are doubling and this baby (aka Apollo) is doing his/her thing.

Top was yesterday FMU at 15dpo and bottom was today FMU.

So back to Apollo- I wanted something God like, because let’s face it, this baby is a freaking miracle! Apollo is the God of light and sun, which can represent the light after a dark period for us. And lastly, it even incorporates a little bit of Olo (our little one), who we lost in August.

My only “symptom” is that I have been weepy as hell! No real cramps (thanks god).

Today’s beta was 124. Low compared to “normal” implanters, but I am trying to stay positive and focus on the fact that the beta is doubling. In fact, it doubled in 34 hours.

I am scared. Like super nervous that since the beta is low and it was a late implanter that we won’t make it to 6 weeks to see the heartbeat. Maybe that is fear from the miscarriage in August talking. I just feel like I am about to wake up from this dream at any time and this pregnancy will be over.

I am trying really hard to focus on the here and now though. I’ve already told my family. I regret not telling them about Olo until after we lost him. I need all of the prayers and support I can get. I have left it up to M to decided whether or not he wants to tell his parents.

Dr. L wants to me to back on Friday for another beta. In the meantime I think I will buy a CBE week estimator and take it tomorrow. By that point, my beta should be 200 and I should get a 2-3 weeks on the test. That will provide me some comfort I think, well I hope!

I tested on 7dp5dt and didn’t see a thing so I tossed it and drank a huge ass Diet Coke with my lunch.

I had such a crappy day that I wanted to snuggle with H so she slept in our bed. That means I also skipped all of my nighttime meds.

For whatever reason I tested again on 8dp5dt and got a super squinter. Even M saw it. Then I freaked out. I immediately took all of my medication and prayed. Then I started spotting. Last night I took another test and sure enough something was there.

The spotting turned to cramps and medium bleeding.

Today is 9dp5dt and the lines are so incredibly light, but they are there! Today I’m pregnant.

I’m still bleeding a little and don’t really have cramps so I’m not sure what to think. I am going in for my beta tomorrow and fully expect it to be low. That’s fine as long as it doubles. My fear is that I’m facing a chemical.

I woke up with cramps but stayed strong and didn’t test first thing in the morning…I waited until 9am. I seem to be a better tester in the afternoon. I have also noticed a difference in sensitivity between a regular FRER and FRER Rapid Response. I seem to get better lines on the Rapid Response.

I think I have tested more this pregnancy than the one with the girls. Maybe it’s because I think the lines should be darker by now. I have to try to remember that this pregnancy is a singelton and so it’s going to be different. I can’t compare the two.

Here is the latest. Not too much of a difference between yesterday and today, but for now I think that is ok. There is a good difference between 5d and 7d so I am remaining positive about this.

This is 6dp (top) compared to 7dp (bottom). Not a huge difference.

Just for some peace of mind, I took a CBE Week Estimator and it came up 1-2 weeks which is good and right on track.