We don’t break, we damage (1)

I draw two sketches the other day, on what I believe most people don’t understand about anxiety disorders. I thought I would publish them separately even though they are clearly linked. Please keep in mind that they are entirely based on my own perception and experience, and so I cannot be sure that they would fit someone else’s experience… Also I can’t draw, they’re only very basic, but I’m finding that sometimes drawings explain things better than words 🙂

Here we go:

Push further

I’m scared of losing it, for a time or for good, by pushing myself too far, trying more things or having too much to deal with. Falling is scary and it hurts. You have no idea how long it will take to get better. Some times people don’t come back, not for years or not ever. Even when you win, the fight and the experience leave their marks, on you and on the people you love. The fear of falling again stays. That next time you might not come back out. The time lost.

For people without this experience, it is easy to discard this fear. But there is nothing laughable about it… Yes, it is part of the disorder, but the consequences are very real and can be very costly; panic attacks, anti-depressants or other chemical and non-chemical but very costly treatments, and time.

The second sketch should show what “falling” actually means, at least for me 🙂