I weight 350 pounds, and these are my jeans. They’re literally the only pair of jeans that I own that I’m able to fit into. And they’re a half size too small. You probably can’t read the label, but they’re a size 44 waist. I only really wear them when I need to — the

My Monster is a contrarian. No matter what you say, she’ll say the opposite. Tell her she likes fruit snacks? Nope. She hates them. Tell her it’s cold? Nope. She’s hot. I should have considered that a few weeks ago, when we were out on a family trip to see some Christmas lights. Stopped at

So, it’s that time of year again. We’re leaving 2017 and entering 2018. This time of year, I always start thinking of goals I want to set, but I don’t really like the term “New Year’s resolution.” I have a horrible track record of making them and giving up on them quickly. This year, though,

I didn’t really expect to end up a family man. I’d always been somewhat ambivalent about raising kids. I knew I didn’t want biological children — my family has enough inheritable health issues I didn’t want to pass on, and I’ve never felt a biological imperative to pass on my genetics. I’d talked about adopting