Friday, January 20, 2012

Lopaprogress

Fan me with a tulip, mother–the lopapeysa now has two sleeves, a collar, and all ends woven in.

Next comes:

washing/blocking,

sewing in the zipper,

sewing down the inside edge of the collar (with the upper end of the zipper tucked inside),

wearing it through the long remainder of the Chicago winter (i.e., until the fourth of July) feeling warm, snug, and happy to be a knitter.

Here 'tis on the form, with the fronts pinned to mimic the appearance when partially zipped.

After playing hunt-the-zipper in and around Chicago, I gave up and have ordered a metal zip in a custom length. It's worth it. The alternatives were a sticky, white plastic piece of crap from Jo-Ann Fabric; or the same piece of crap marked up 50% more at one of our few remaining sewing shops. Before I let anything like that near my knitting, I'll close the fronts with wads of chewed bubblegum.

Learn Along with Franklin: Part II

In our first installment, we learned something about Native American culture. Today, our topic is good manners. The lessons are taken from this tiny volume.

It doesn't look like much on the outside, but inside it's a Wow.

Etiquette for Little Folks (part of "Susie Sunbeam's Series") was printed in Boston in 1856. It's a model of didactic mid-19th century children's literature.

The sole decoration is an engraved frontispiece showing a young girl literally taking her younger brother under her wing. Behind the kids, Mama contentedly gets on with her sewing.

After that: nothing but ninety-six closely-printed pages of firm, unvarnished admonitions. The upright, emphatic metal type gives the text a bold authority that you won't find in any modern namby-pamby children's book.

A few lessons, quoted verbatim, from the redoubtable Miss Sunbeam:

AT HOME.

If you wish to speak to your parents, and see them engaged in discourse with company, draw back, and leave your business till afterwards; but if it is really necessary to speak to them, be sure to whisper.

Never speak to you parents without some title of respect, as Sir, Madam, &c.

Never make faces or contortions, nor grimaces, while any one is giving you commands.

Use respectful and courteous language towards all the domestics. Never be domineering or insuting, for it is the mark of an ignorant and purse-proud child.

AT TABLE.

Sit not down until your elders are seated. It is unbecoming to take your place first.

When you are helped, be not the first to eat.

AMONG OTHER CHILDREN.

Be not selfish altogether, but kind, free, and generous to others.

Scorn not, nor laugh at any because of their infirmities; nor affix to any one vexing title of contempt and reproach; but pity such as are so visited, and be glad you are otherwise distinguished and favored.

IN SCHOOL.

Bow at entering, especially if the teacher be present.

Make not haste out of school, but soberly retire when your turn comes, without hurrying.

IN THE STREET.

Jeer not any person whatever.

Give your superiors place to pass before you, in any narrow place where two persons cannot pass at once.

GOING INTO COMPANY.

A young person ought to be able to go into a room, and address the company, without the least embarrassment.

CLEANLINESS.

Now, clean garments and a clean person, are as necessary to health, as to prevent giving offence to other people. It is a maxim with me, which I have lived to see verified, that he who is negligent at twenty years of age, will be a sloven at forty, and intolerable at fifty.

MODESTY.

Nothing can atone for the want of modesty; without it, beauty if ungraceful, and wit detestable.

GOOD BREEDING.

Observe the best and most well-bred of the French people; how agreeably they insinuate little civilities in their conversation. They think it so essential that they call an honest and civil man by the same name, of "honnete homme;" and the Romans called civility, "humanitas," as thinking it inseparable from humanity: and depend upon it, that your reputation and success will, in a great measure, depend upon the degree of good breeding of which you are master.

I cannot read this book without thinking of the well-to-do children in my own neighborhood. They routinely call their mothers "stupid" at the top of their lungs, insult their teachers and bully their nannies, kick passers-by, and yell at coffee shop baristas for insufficiently sprinkling their cocoa–all without fear of reprimand. And I weep.

Amen! Just had some folks in with a very cute, but hyperactive little girl, around age 3 I'd guess. She ran around with dad chasing her, getting into everything, grabbing things she was told not to touch, tipping over a display. Never once got reprimanded beyond an occasional, "Eleanor, don't do that," whilst dad cleaned up in her wake. Can only imagine what kind of teenager she'll be.

I had strict parents. Everyone was Mr. or Mrs., or if close to the family and adult, Aunt or Uncle. There was a path to walk on, and we rarely ventured off it.I do, however, remember wetting my snow pants in a neighbor's foyer when I was six, as I didn't feel the situation warranted interrupting an adult conversation and risking my father's ire. That may have been overkill.They probably regretted that rule, as this was back in the day of kapok filled winter gear.Word verification: symate. Conjures up a multitude of options.

I have bought a matching (custom length, I think) zipper by sending a yarn butterfly to a company whose name I can't remember. I could try to find that info if you like. Definitely a success the time or two I've done it.

While I wouldn't dream of arguing about the current poor manners of kids (about mine...they are polite in company, they are only horrors at home), remember when reading historical stuff....they wouldn't write these books if they didn't think them necessary, which means that the kids were *doing* all those things, routinely!

For instance, we know that women were everywhere with the Revolutionary Army, because there are constant orders from Washington that women mustn't ride in the wagons, they must be clean, they must nurse, they mustn't drink, etc etc. Over and over....because they must have been *doing* all those things, else why the orders?

But, there is hope...the teachers all report that a thing they like about teaching in my town's HS is that the kids routinely say "thank you" as they leave classes! No one knows why the kids do this, no one reports having taught them, to do so, but most do.

Oooh. Only one and a half more years before I can fully claim being "intolerable", LOL.

I'd like to think my parents brought me up well enough; I behave well in public and social/academic occasions, think before speaking, and am respectful of others. But I'll admit to being slovenly. I chalk it up to being too busy with interesting things like yarn dyeing to be bothered with serious housecleaning.

We don’t need Susie Sunbeam, we need parents (and other adults) who are good role models (i.e. polite and respectful to their children, to one another, and to others when the children are present) and we need parents who aren't afraid to show and teach their children the importance of things like politeness, courtesy, respect, etc. Maybe I'm old fashioned but what could be wrong about teaching today’s children about the "golden rule"?

While I'm stepping off my soapbox, I'd also like to say that your sweater is truly beautiful – and deserves the best zipper you can find!

Personally, I am very thankful to my mother for teaching us good manners in our toddler years - our guide was the Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, though ;) More parents should do the same!

One other thought: the thing I see sometimes and can't stand is the rigid yes ma'am no sir business that some parents demand of their children. A child can convey respect without sounding like a boot camp marine.

Beautiful Lopa! And what a find from the Susie Sunbeam series! Thanks for sharing. One of the reasons I keep my day job as a librarian is to harvest lovely gems like that. Can't. Get. Enough. It sounds like you're in the mood to read Ben Marcus' new novel Flame Alphabet. love always

Love the rules - and maybe many of them boil down to the big one that kids aren't the center of the universe? My college students are routinely shocked when I talk to them about other cultures where respect must be earned, and where young people mostly aren't considered to have been around long enough to have earned it yet. My poor kids - I keep insisting on raising them so they'll be adults I want to know someday, with some of my more egregious students in mind as anti-models (on the other hand, I have had restaurant owners come out to congratulate me on well-behaved kids, simply because they act in ways that I would have assumed were the only option when I was their age!).

I think I take for granted that my children behave decently - but apparently it's noteworthy. I've had grocery store cashiers approach me, both when my four are with me, and when I'm solo, to compliment how well they behave. And like several other folks here, I kind of goggle at that. Shouldn't not running, saying please and thank you, etc. be the standard, not the exception? Except then when I volunteer in their classrooms I see what other kids do - and I bewail the lack of a woodshed behind the school building.

Failing a zipper, you might try pewter buttons or clasps. But you'd have to knit button bands then.

I've got a funny feeling your niece might use a big, sparkly, faux-amethyst rhinestone brooch like a shawl pin when she "permanently borrows" that sweater!

The phrasing of the etiquette book's admonitions reminds of the poem "Desiderata" and the parody "Deteriorata." Really. "Blow not your food when too hot" isn't that far away from "Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face."

Franklin, I've just discovered your blog via the Yarn Harlot. ilioI love the sweater and agree it deserves the best zip you can find.

The Susie Sunbeam book is wonderful. My parents brought all of us to have good manners and we did the same with our two. It's gratifying to notice that they seem to be passing on the tradition to their children, though it's still early days. I think the key to getting children to behave well is consistency and that can be hard work for the parents.

Handsome sweater! And in the second section of your post, I wondered about a possible caption for that illustration, something snarky from the mother. But the more I looked at it, the more pathetic the children looked, as though the sister might be saying, "Come hither, brother. Let us embark on our journey to therapy."

I love the double bind here. After strapping the poor stripling with 99 constrictions, restrictions, and prohibitions, they finish with "any child should be able to enter a room without embarrassment." Yeah, right.

I don't have kids and wish that more parents suggested things like this to their children. Not all of them, because I'm not so extreme as to think children should be seen not heard, but some. Somewhere along the line there grew a level of permissiveness that makes child-free people cringe.

The sweater looks wonderful! My mum just told me she found an icelandic-style sweater she knit for me in the 80's when I was in primary school. Apparently it was The Thing To Knit that year in Edinburgh.

I remember it well: mushroomy beige with a red and white yoke. I also remember it being itchy. I did not love it nearly as much as the pink angora & mohair ballet sweater she also made for me.

I just found your bog and instantly subscribed! Your story about how you learned to knit is wonderful. I had alot of boo hooers when I taught myself to knit at 30 years, which was 20 years ago. Go ahead so the math. It was before the knitting craze. Now those boohooers are always asking for felted bags, mittens, and even sweaters for their children! I smile like the cheshire cat, give 'em a wink and say nah. You can teach yourself! Can't wait to read more of your adventures. Oh. Love little Susie sunbeam.

Your sweater is very handsome! I've enjoyed the story of it's creation and look forward to a picture showing just how well you fitted it to yourself. Amy Herzog should include it in her Fit to Flatter series.

I fear that many of our youth (meaning anyone under the age of 30) would not even comprehend what is written in that book. I find each admonition all too familiar from my growing up years. My father believed that children should be seen and not heard. A stiff necked belief for which I have cursed him many times since becoming an adult myself. However, I do have to thank him for teaching me how to act in public. Thanks for reminding us Franklin.

I'm happy that the Yarn Harlot ( Stephanie Pearl-McPhee) mentioned you in her blog today and I followed the link here. Really enjoyed reading this months posts...Dude, love your talent. You spin great yarn (both fiber and the verbal kind)..well, technically you knit with artistry, but reading this blog, I think you've knit a few hearts together here too.

Oh how I wish to gather a copy of that book and reproduce it en mass to pass out to the world! So many things have gone by the wayside... I honestly think a step back in the right direction would help immensely!

This type of sweater is on my bucket list, even if I do live in Texas and would wear it once every three years.

As the mother of a very outgoing but (if I may say so) well-behaved three-year-old, I will say that the key to her learning good manners and conduct seems to be her father and I demonstrating those good manners with her. Please and thank you were some of the first words she used regularly because they are words we use with her many times a day. "N, please put this on the table." "Thank you!" We also have regular conversations about what is polite and not polite. I always praise her when she exhibits good manners and if she doesn't, we discuss that calmly, without yelling.

I see some parents that seem to be afraid or embarrassed to correct or prompt their small children in public and it saddens me. If we don't explicitly tell them at an early age how to behave and show them through example, how are they to know?

It was only yesterday I was insulted by a young man who was drunk at 4:30pm. He swore, screaming at me that he'd call the police on me and have me charged for photographing a flower in his garden. I live in a unit/townhouse complex and have done for almost 10 years. This kind of abuse is usually something I'd be scared of; but now now. I've seen this so often lately that I don't let it bother my anymore, as there's no use in being scared.What we need nowadays is to teach the children who are growing up in their teens through to their 20's that they are to treat others and their elders with respect - the kind of respect I was taught when I was growing up in the 1980's. My Grandparents and my parents didn't let me backchat or insult them. I was taught respect, to speak quietly, to excuse myself when I wished to be included or had something to say. There were rules that still stand today, but nobody takes any notice of them; and people wonder why their children run amuck when they've never taught them anything proper and real. I seriously think Deportment Classes should make a comeback, it would pull a lot of young people back into line.

I'm sorry to hear you're having issues with finding a zipper for your Lopapeysa. Unfortunately my sources don't do mail order: http://millendstore.com/ and http://fabricdepot.com/ I guess you'll just have to move to Portland.

My mother worked very hard to instill manners in me and my siblings but the social revolutions of the sixties saw those things as being staid and old-fashioned. I too wish that part of a child's upbringing be lessons in how to behave in public situations such as a meal at an important occasion or attending a performance.

Perhaps the pendulum will swing back to the want of good manners. My children have been brought up knowing respect for their elders and good manners, particularly in public. My mother never hesitated to take them out as they were always well behaved and sat quietly in public situations.What makes me sad is the lack of self-respect I see in this day & age of young women for themselves. I am by no means a prude but trashy dressing, vulgar language, public spitting and being extremely physical with one's significant other on the street does nothing to promote the image of being a "lady". Girls need to know that they will only garner as much respect from others (particular boys/men) as they show for themselves. This is a trend that I dearly hope to see changing.

I agree about the lack of manners in our so called civilized society. But even in the early 1800's I can't imagine a child who had learned how to read would sit still to read all this redeemable but very dour stuff - unless they were being punished. I imagine any kid worth his/her salt, would find something else to do as soon as they were presented with this particular book. Egads, boring. We can laugh now. I can't even imagine a person who could read actually sitting down and reading this to a child - at least not more than 1 or 2 gems at a time. Hester

I'm a teacher and a parent. Many of the children I teach are polite and courteous. However, there are always the exceptions. Some of the parents coul duse a lesson in etiquette though... and as for my own, my daughter is unfailingly polite in company, my son somewhat less so. They thankkfully generally reserve their worst excesses for home!

Love the sweater and you did right to get a bespoke zip for such a wonderful item. Well done!

any chance of an informal lesson (for which read detailed, if humorous, description) on putting zips into knitted jackets. I have the knitted jacket, I have the zip, what I don't have is the confidence to put them together, and given that it was knitted in Noro Silk Garden that's quite an investment in yarn giving me no return for over a year.:-)

Don't even get me started on parents' lack of discipline these days. My husband is a teacher and is really tired of being told it's his fault that some kids aren't achieving. Granted, there are some sub-par teachers around, but it would help so much if parents were making their kids behave at home and at school, and do their school work and show the teachers some respect! (stepping down off of soap box now...)

To be precise, you are a gentleman & a scholar. Your wit and humor are priceless and a joy to read.There are posts like these that when I read them I think 'Franklin, I adore you' Thank you for brightening my day!

i agree with "pat from ny" that it was nice to see children being taught to shun bigotry against others and pride in riches (which they'd had no part in earning anyway!)

but from the perspective of 67 years on the planet, i well recall that many of the manners susie advocated were gone from not just other kids, but from many of the grownups who surrounded me in my lower-middle-class midwestern home town, six decades ago.

the only people i knew who said "sir" and "ma'am" except cousins growing up in the deep south were military/ex-military.

slurs on race and ethnicity and religion and orientation were pervasive among my elders.

so were corporal punishment and domestic violence.

on the whole, i prefer life today, despite much vulgarity passed off as comedy.

didn't aristotle also lament that the younger generation was going to hell?

Thanks for sharing the quotes from the book! That sweater--there just aren't enough words to talk about how stunning it is. I love the pattern. I love the colors. I love everything about it. This, I think, is the year I decide to steek. Thank you for the inspiration!

Love the book, and your Lopi. One thing I learned in history class is that if there's a book (or a law) explaining how a certain class of people ought to behave, chances are those people were accustomed to behaving in quite the opposite way. So I would bet that 18th-century children were screaming at their mothers/nannies/baristas quite as often as their 21st-century counterparts. Maybe more.

I work in a library and I wish we had a year-round class for the little tykes that come here for children's programs. Imagine! Teaching good manners at the library! Innovative! But would we have any adults who would bring the children to the class? And that sweater...to die for!!!

I speak up in hopes of helping those parents we all wag our heads at - they can't be the only ones teaching and modeling manners to children. When I'm working the cash register, and a mom or a grandmother buys a little treat for a small child, I habitually ask, "What do you say to your mother?" as I hand it to the child. I'm not scolding, just reminding, and it's really kind of encouraging to see how many of the kids look up with an "oh, yeah!" look and say, "Thank you, Mom." And Mom always thanks me for the help - those of us who aren't parents, let's not be pushy, but let's be helpful! It takes a village, after all.

Mr. Habit, please allow me to thank you for all the large and small lessons you've shared with us in this blog! It's always worth visiting.

*sigh* I don't see my grand daughter as much as I could, even though she lives a mere half hour from me, for this very reason. My son, her father, was brought up very strictly. My DIL, her mother, apparently was not. This child is bright, witty, and SPOILED ROTTEN with a temper to match. It pains me to be around her because of this.

My son has just started his teaching career at a private school. He was NOT raised "entitled" to anything much, and certainly raised to believe that *we* as parents WERE entitled to him behaving as a respectful child.

He is AMAZED at what these kids try to get away with; and in each instance that happens in his class, he calls them on it. He insists that if *they* want respect, they must *earn* it - which is a novel concept to many of them...

The sweater is AWE-some!!! Glad you went for a quality zipper. The stuff available locally can certainly be crap.

I will admit to raising a Marine. Who said 'sir' and 'm'am' even before the Drill Instructors got ahold of him. Of course, that was because *I* was raised by a Marine and a southern belle. I didn't have a chance to have bad manners LOL. And I got complimented on his behavior all the time.

I mourn the absence of good manners and even gracious manners (what ever happened to thank you notes?)

I am reminded of Little Folks From Ettiquette Town, which my mother used to read to us. I think it was printed in the 1940's. In fact, it lives at my house now. Here's a link http://www.eclectibles.com/Little_Folks_from_Etiquette_Town_p/55338.htm

Hello, Neat post. There is a problem with your web site in web explorer, would check this¡K IE still is the market leader and a large part of people will pass over your great writing due to this problem.Togel Bola Online

Copyright and Posting Notice

All original content of this blog, both words and images, is held in copyright by F. Habit. Use of any kind, in any medium, for any reason without express, prior written consent is prohibited.

Permission is not granted for the posting of any content from this site to Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, or any other Web site.

Please do not provide links to any product, service, organization or cause when leaving comments unless directly related to the topic of the post. Unsolicited advertising will be deleted and repeat offenders will be blocked.

When in doubt, please ask. I'm not mean, I'm just committed to preserving the quality of experience for my readers.