I'm a good mother, your a good mother

Oh wait, you donâ€™t breastfeed your baby? You donâ€™t co-sleep with your baby? You donâ€™t swaddle? You do swaddle? You do co-sleep with your baby?! You feed your child non-organic food? You feed your child meat? You have a nanny? You work? Youâ€™re a stay-at -home mother? Did you circumcise? You didnâ€™t circumcise? Oh my goodness, no, you donâ€™tâ€¦..you donâ€™t vaccinate your children do you?If you answered yes or no to even one of the above questions, then Iâ€™m sorry, but you clearly arenâ€™t a good mother. Not as good as the mothers who either did or didnâ€™t use one or all of the aforementioned parenting tools. Youâ€™re like, the Amber from â€˜Teen Momâ€™ of mothers. Jeez. Why donâ€™t you know how wrong your choices are?Whew! Its exhausting just pretending to judge everyone elseâ€™s mothering abilities, I have to hand it to all the women who do it professionally. And by professionally, I mean, clog up their Facebook pages, their conversations, their websites, their blogs, with constant reminders of how much better what they do for their children is, than what you do.

Oh wait, you donâ€™t breastfeed your baby? You donâ€™t co-sleep with your baby? You donâ€™t swaddle? You do swaddle? You do co-sleep with your baby?! You feed your child non-organic food? You feed your child meat? You have a nanny? You work? Youâ€™re a stay-at -home mother? Did you circumcise? You didnâ€™t circumcise? Oh my goodness, no, you donâ€™tâ€¦..you donâ€™t vaccinate your children do you?If you answered yes or no to even one of the above questions, then Iâ€™m sorry, but you clearly arenâ€™t a good mother. Not as good as the mothers who either did or didnâ€™t use one or all of the aforementioned parenting tools. Youâ€™re like, the Amber from â€˜Teen Momâ€™ of mothers. Jeez. Why donâ€™t you know how wrong your choices are?Whew! Its exhausting just pretending to judge everyone elseâ€™s mothering abilities, I have to hand it to all the women who do it professionally. And by professionally, I mean, clog up their Facebook pages, their conversations, their websites, their blogs, with constant reminders of how much better what they do for their children is, than what you do.

But, you know, I really have to respect their confidence as well. No kidding. Iâ€™m a quaking jello mold of crippling guilt and uncertainty concerning my parenting skills. It must feel so good to just know that everything youâ€™re doing is the best thing, and will definitely NOT result in your childâ€™s future as a homeless street musician.Hereâ€™s what I know Iâ€™m good at:Buying baby clothes.Hereâ€™s what I agonize over:Feeding the baby. Cleaning the baby. Is he warm enough? Is he too warm? How much he sleeps. The quality of his sleep. Do I give him enough affection? Am I smothering him? Is he normal? Is he falling behind? Will he get some girl pregnant in high school? Is that a smear of his poop on the coffee table?

But, you know, I really have to respect their confidence as well. No kidding. Iâ€™m a quaking jello mold of crippling guilt and uncertainty concerning my parenting skills. It must feel so good to just know that everything youâ€™re doing is the best thing, and will definitely NOT result in your childâ€™s future as a homeless street musician.Hereâ€™s what I know Iâ€™m good at:Buying baby clothes.Hereâ€™s what I agonize over:Feeding the baby. Cleaning the baby. Is he warm enough? Is he too warm? How much he sleeps. The quality of his sleep. Do I give him enough affection? Am I smothering him? Is he normal? Is he falling behind? Will he get some girl pregnant in high school? Is that a smear of his poop on the coffee table?

Iâ€™ve been blessed with the inability to presume that Iâ€™m doing anything correctly as a mother, so you know what I really donâ€™t need? I really donâ€™t need to open my Facebook page and get a nasty slap from a link to an article telling me that the flu shot I just took is going to kill my unborn fetus, or that the vaccination I just authorized for my baby is going to render him developmentally disabIed. It really burned me up to see the suggestion to someone who was offering formula coupons on a trade and barter site that they should, â€œburn them.â€ Wow.Hereâ€™s the thing, I donâ€™t want any harm to come my child. No mother does. Hereâ€™s the other thing, I can read. We all can. We all see the same news bulletins and essays and articles concerning pregnancy, childbirth, vaccinations, and child rearing. We do our research and make our informed decisions and thank you so much, but we donâ€™t need to be reminded( day after day) that there are other schools of thought. We KNOW. I recently asked a friend on Facebook what she was feeding her baby. Simple question, right? She sent me a private email explaining that she didnâ€™t dare to answer me in the public comment thread because she knew she would be attacked by â€œBreast is Bestâ€ advocates about her use of formula! Holy Hell. I donâ€™t even want to repeat the cliche about how I wasnâ€™t breastfed, and look at me, Iâ€™ve never even had a cavity( true!), but oops, I just did repeat it, and for good reason! Breast is best, but formula isnâ€™t toxic. In fact, its pretty damn good.

Iâ€™ve been blessed with the inability to presume that Iâ€™m doing anything correctly as a mother, so you know what I really donâ€™t need? I really donâ€™t need to open my Facebook page and get a nasty slap from a link to an article telling me that the flu shot I just took is going to kill my unborn fetus, or that the vaccination I just authorized for my baby is going to render him developmentally disabIed. It really burned me up to see the suggestion to someone who was offering formula coupons on a trade and barter site that they should, â€œburn them.â€ Wow.Hereâ€™s the thing, I donâ€™t want any harm to come my child. No mother does. Hereâ€™s the other thing, I can read. We all can. We all see the same news bulletins and essays and articles concerning pregnancy, childbirth, vaccinations, and child rearing. We do our research and make our informed decisions and thank you so much, but we donâ€™t need to be reminded( day after day) that there are other schools of thought. We KNOW. I recently asked a friend on Facebook what she was feeding her baby. Simple question, right? She sent me a private email explaining that she didnâ€™t dare to answer me in the public comment thread because she knew she would be attacked by â€œBreast is Bestâ€ advocates about her use of formula! Holy Hell. I donâ€™t even want to repeat the cliche about how I wasnâ€™t breastfed, and look at me, Iâ€™ve never even had a cavity( true!), but oops, I just did repeat it, and for good reason! Breast is best, but formula isnâ€™t toxic. In fact, its pretty damn good.

Do you beat your kids senseless? Do you starve them? Do you withhold all love and affection? Do you tell them they arenâ€™t worthy?If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then I think we have an issue. If not, then my guess is you are doing your very best at the hardest, hardest job. And youâ€™re probably doing terrific-ly. I donâ€™t know about yaâ€™ll, but I could reeeeaally use one less sleepless, staring bug-eyed at the ceiling, doubting my every decision night, compliments of a â€ helpfulâ€ reminder about the irreversible trauma Iâ€™ve caused my son byâ€¦..[ fill in alarmist rant here.]Dial it down, ladies, dial it down. If youâ€™ve never had a moment of doubt, never thought you were the worst mother in the world, then continue on as you are. But, for those of us who do have doubts and guilt and worries, and Iâ€™m pretty sure we all do, then maybe we need to think the next time we offer another mother unsolicited advice. Is it really helping her? Really preventing disaster? Or is it just slumping her shoulders a little further down?

Do you beat your kids senseless? Do you starve them? Do you withhold all love and affection? Do you tell them they arenâ€™t worthy?If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then I think we have an issue. If not, then my guess is you are doing your very best at the hardest, hardest job. And youâ€™re probably doing terrific-ly. I donâ€™t know about yaâ€™ll, but I could reeeeaally use one less sleepless, staring bug-eyed at the ceiling, doubting my every decision night, compliments of a â€ helpfulâ€ reminder about the irreversible trauma Iâ€™ve caused my son byâ€¦..[ fill in alarmist rant here.]Dial it down, ladies, dial it down. If youâ€™ve never had a moment of doubt, never thought you were the worst mother in the world, then continue on as you are. But, for those of us who do have doubts and guilt and worries, and Iâ€™m pretty sure we all do, then maybe we need to think the next time we offer another mother unsolicited advice. Is it really helping her? Really preventing disaster? Or is it just slumping her shoulders a little further down?

I come from an old fashioned family where everyone is very close and always around for each other, and where moms are there to help their daughters when they have babies. I moved three hours away from home and my sisters, mom, and aunts ( I'm the baby of the house ) keep mentioning that I should go home to have the baby so I can have them there to help me because I'll be a FTM and will have questions... What I say is I'm going to give my baby my all and do my best to take amazing good care of her. To feed her to love her and to take care of her.. And that's enough. We all have different ways of caring and raising our kids And it's okay. To judge others for doing differently isn't necessary

I come from an old fashioned family where everyone is very close and always around for each other, and where moms are there to help their daughters when they have babies. I moved three hours away from home and my sisters, mom, and aunts ( I'm the baby of the house ) keep mentioning that I should go home to have the baby so I can have them there to help me because I'll be a FTM and will have questions... What I say is I'm going to give my baby my all and do my best to take amazing good care of her. To feed her to love her and to take care of her.. And that's enough. We all have different ways of caring and raising our kids And it's okay. To judge others for doing differently isn't necessary

This is from someone else's blog. Not mine. And I definitely don't recall calling anyone stupid for co sleeping. Yes I did say it was irresponsible. But I certainly did not personally attack anyone, which i see a lot of on this board. Name calling... Lashing out. So yep. I found this particular post in this woman's blog fitting to share here. I find some of the posts here downright vicious. You all insult each other quite a bit. If anyone felt insulted by the only post I've ever made in this forum (co sleeping and saying I find it irresponsible because it's risky and dangerous in my opinion and many others) then I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. But I've never outright name called. Etc. I thought you would enjoy it but nope, we resort to name calling again. That's okay. Enjoy or don't. :)

This is from someone else's blog. Not mine. And I definitely don't recall calling anyone stupid for co sleeping. Yes I did say it was irresponsible. But I certainly did not personally attack anyone, which i see a lot of on this board. Name calling... Lashing out. So yep. I found this particular post in this woman's blog fitting to share here. I find some of the posts here downright vicious. You all insult each other quite a bit. If anyone felt insulted by the only post I've ever made in this forum (co sleeping and saying I find it irresponsible because it's risky and dangerous in my opinion and many others) then I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. But I've never outright name called. Etc. I thought you would enjoy it but nope, we resort to name calling again. That's okay. Enjoy or don't. :)

Um where does it say anywhere that it's a debate board? It's called "hot topics" not "let's be c*nty and make everyone we can feel like sh!t and argue about anything and everything like pre teens". Haha. Uh oh you are wearing off on me now. I just might fit in, I'm name calling and being a total "asshat"

Um where does it say anywhere that it's a debate board? It's called "hot topics" not "let's be c*nty and make everyone we can feel like sh!t and argue about anything and everything like pre teens". Haha. Uh oh you are wearing off on me now. I just might fit in, I'm name calling and being a total "asshat"

That was long but I read it all and understand you aren't the author. That being said, I liked the POV and understand. My SIL posts about circumcision being child abuse on a daily basis. Some people do use FB to shove their beliefs down others' throats and it's sucky. It doesn't pertain to a hot topics board because everyone can throw their opinion around and, yes, hurt each others feelings on here. I figured though, and I seem to be alone here, that you were posting it as a discussion about this kind of stuff on FB?

That was long but I read it all and understand you aren't the author. That being said, I liked the POV and understand. My SIL posts about circumcision being child abuse on a daily basis. Some people do use FB to shove their beliefs down others' throats and it's sucky. It doesn't pertain to a hot topics board because everyone can throw their opinion around and, yes, hurt each others feelings on here. I figured though, and I seem to be alone here, that you were posting it as a discussion about this kind of stuff on FB?

If so, I do feel like posting agressive opinions that will hurt others and/or accuse them of bad parenting or child abuse belongs on a debate or ht board and not on FB where you're bound to hurt someone you are close to.

If so, I do feel like posting agressive opinions that will hurt others and/or accuse them of bad parenting or child abuse belongs on a debate or ht board and not on FB where you're bound to hurt someone you are close to.

It was just meant for a good read for those interested and I feel it pertains to this board. Moms on here come to others for advice. Not this forum I guess it is about hot topics and debates are unavoidable but I don't agree with being outright mean, and name calling. Hence "dial it down ladies" but I should have expected what I got I've spend enough night feedings reading the posts and arguments on here and I can say, at least it's entertaining. For the most part...

It was just meant for a good read for those interested and I feel it pertains to this board. Moms on here come to others for advice. Not this forum I guess it is about hot topics and debates are unavoidable but I don't agree with being outright mean, and name calling. Hence "dial it down ladies" but I should have expected what I got I've spend enough night feedings reading the posts and arguments on here and I can say, at least it's entertaining. For the most part...

The material on this website is provided for educational purposes only and is not to be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, or in place of therapy or medical care. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy

Advertising Notice

This Site and third parties who place advertisements on this Site may collect and use information about your visits to this Site and other websites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like to obtain more information about these advertising practices and to make choices about online behavioral advertising, please click here