So what does it take then to be sexually satisfied, to be in tune and expressive of our sexual desires in a healthy and fulfilling way? And why do we find it so difficult to achieve this? Why do we feel that this kind of pleasure is reserved for the beautiful and rich, young and successful?

Most people, in my experience, barely let themselves explore their desires, their physical desires. So that’s the first thing. How can we satisfy something in ourselves that we never really took the time to understand? And why do we do this, why do we suppress parts of ourselves? My guess, because it’s so taboo. And let’s not forget all the pain and suffering that has come from the expression of sexuality and desire in the past. And today, not just in the past. It’s been a natural and often legitimate fear for so long that we never really questioned it. And in a lot of ways, that giddy feeling when we talk about our sexual experiences, is a good thing, a Great thing! But we feel fear and we lump it together with anxiety or intuition telling us to move away from the thing we’re thinking about, not to talk about it and to suppress it, keep it secret or let it go if we can. We get scared to share our not-so-perfect moments with others when we do attempt express these desires, sometimes even keeping things that bother us from our closest friends from fear of judgement, etc. We get scared to tell people what we like or wish we could experience sexually because, ‘Well, what if they don’t feel the same way?’ or, ‘What if they think that’s weird or gross or sounds terrifying?’

And we make ourselves either suppress these desires and urges, or keep them secret, verrry secret, because if someone found out… (insert biggest fear here)!

And we all have these fears, but we also all have these, sort of, weird urges and desires too. And I only say weird because the vast diversity in our desires from person to person make us feel separate. We start breaking things down to feel more comfortable with our own thoughts, like, ‘this’ is weird, but ‘this’ is normal. My desires are different than your desires, but I know a whole group of people who have the same desires as me and that makes me feel comfortable enough to express those desires. So I can say to myself, if you don’t have those same desires as us, you have totally different desires, then you’re weird. But I’m not, I’m normal. Or if you like something different then you’re weird. And simply knowing that this group of people are like me makes me feel safe and comfortable enough to express my desires because it’s not that weird because these people like it too. Social norms, cultural norms, the point is we’re all the same. We just don’t see it that way. We don’t see each other that way.

There’s only the weird. That’s theTruth. Nobody on the planet feels exactly the same way in exactly the same quantities about one thing, let alone Every thing. We’re all weird AND there’s nothing wrong with going out into the world with the intention of finding people with a compatible weirdness. You just gotta be cool with different kinds of weirdness because it’s all normal and more importantly, it’s all relevant. Other people’s weirdness shouldn’t piss you off, you know deep down that it’s crucial to our evolution.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

To truly be sexually satisfied, or satisfied in any part of your life, you have to get good at being weird. You have to be ok with your weirdness and everybody else’s. But start with you, you know. You gotta accept you to accept other people. And you’ll never get what you want without this. Stop fighting the things you’re afraid of and start exploring the things you love. There is a time to stand up and fight, I understand this, but what most people don’t realize is, when you go in the direction of the things you desire with love and acceptance in your heart you’re free. You create a space for others to be free. And the best way to fight the things you dislike about the world is to be who you really are. You don’t move from hate, you move from love. It’s fun, and easy and light and it’s the only way to have a real impact on the world in a positive way.

And this is really easy to start. All you have to do is decide whether or not you think each thing you desire is ok. Be it morally or generally, or however else you wanna break it down.

Do you feel like this desire is ok? Yes? Ok great, next one.

Do you feel like that desire is ok? Yes, ok great. And on, and on you go.

Now, when you hit one that makes you feel unsure, like, ‘Oh i duno, this one’s pretty weird. I always wanted to fuck two guys at the same time while wearing french lingerie… (or whatever, insert your weirdest sexual fantasy here, the one that makes you the most unsure)’, and ask yourself why you think it’s such a scary or terrible desire? What makes you so unsure about this desire?

You’re not trying to hurt anyone, right, so what’s the big deal?

And we say, ‘Ya but it’s super slutty. And where am I gunna find two guys like that anyways, they’re just gunna be like they are in porns, where it’s all nasty and aggressive and super demeaning to the woman, and you know, I’m not into that kinda thing. I really just want… (insert greatest version of that desire here) …the two men at my beck and call, trusting and intrigued. Two guys there with the sole purpose of pleasing me and being pleased and grateful in the moment themselves, as I would be to have such a luscious sexual experience. A sort of mutual respect established and sexuality explored.

Simple things.

And when we’re being real about it, we all have these desires that we’ve told ourselves and allowed ourselves to believe are wrong in some way. That’s why we feel the resistance to them. And from this belief we breed lack of satisfaction, and sometimes it leads us to believe other lies like, ‘There’s just no one out there for me that…’ or ‘If I do this I can’t have that, and I reeeally want that, but if I do the ‘this’, I won’t ever get the ‘that’.

But ask yourself, is it really wrong or are these just lies you decided to believe? Most important thing you could ever do is question the source. Ask yourself Why do we believe these things. Is there any real merit to these beliefs, or do they just come from fear based lies and delusions, or worse, conscious oppression…?

Is it really necessary to suppress how we feel sexually if our intention is not to hurt anyone?

And if you come to the conclusion that it Is ok to want the things you want, you can move into that intention. You can move into the space where it’s ok. And from that space, you can love how you feel for you will feel what true acceptance of self feels like. And this is where you create from, this is when you really get the things you want and you can really change all those things that call to you in the world, all the injustices and things, you specifically, are attracted to and pulled by. This is the Really Big Stuff!

When you move in a direction from this place inside you, this feeling inside you, and you can feel the weight being lifted in the very centre of you, you are capable of extraordinary things. You’ll feel the lightness of this acceptance and the excitement of the unknown, because deep down we know two things. 1. It’s all going to work out, it’s going to be ok. And 2. You Are capable of making a BIG change in the world, and most of us want to do exactly that.

And we say, ‘Ya, but what?’

Cuz see, most of us have No Fuckin’ CLUE what we really want cuz we never let ourselves explooore the Deep Down within us. This is a Kyle Cease thing, you guys should check him out if you’re feelin’ the vibe of this blog. He’s got an amazing YouTube channel that I’ve spent some real time on lately and it’s really helped me get clear and cleanse out all the shit I’ve been keeping myself distracted with. Great stuff!

So, when you do this, when you feel that feeling of ‘it’s ok’, when you allow yourself to want things and desire things in a physical and healthy way like this… watch what happens. Mark my words, you won’t be disappointed. One step at a time, you get into the space where the things you desire exist and just kind of… happen. This isn’t something I read in a book somewhere, this is something I understand experientially. I’ve felt the difference. I’ve become closer and talked with people who have felt this creative and limitless place of possibility and inspiration and excitement and pleasure. It’s unlike anything else I’ve learned about life, about what I’m capable of. And what we’re All capable of.

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live it’s whole life believing it is stupid.
-Albert Einstein

I am theConductor, but you can call me, E.

Please feel Free to comment below or share this content with people. I’d love to chat and explore more openly how we can become sexually satisfied and help others do the same.

So much Love,
-E

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Ok, quick update! I did not fuck theThrowback. Honestly I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It wasn’t worth the risk of ruining a perfectly great reunion. I will always remember him as the cool kid who had a crush on me and was too shy to do anything about it. And I’ll always remember how I fantasized about him for months, dreaming of all the possibilities. But really it came down to this, if the last thing he said to me that night wasn’t, ‘Wanna’ see my weiner?’ I might’ve followed through. HAAA! I wish I were joking, I really do.

Lesson of the day, Ladies…
the Devil is in the Details. I left that small but crucial detail out for a reason. I wanted to know what you guys would do in a similar situation if he hadn’t said that last line to you. Cuz really, how am I supposed to take a 30 year old man seriously if he calls his own dick a weiner?! And wtf kinda ‘goodbye, hope to link up another night’ is that anyways? I didn’t even register what he said until I got into my taxi. I was half way out the door and he hollered that down the stairs. LOL. This is a grown ass man!

So that was it for me, that was the deciding factor after everything else was weighed out. Hope you enjoyed talking about this little adventure with me. I’ll be back with more stories about sex, romance, and just bein’ a grown ass woman livin’ in the city trying to become the youngest female billionaire. That’s right Sara Blakely, I’m comin’ for you. 😉

‘To fuck. Or not to fuck…
That’s almost always the fuckin’ question, isn’t it?
I am theConductor. And my favourite word is Fuck. –E’

12 years later…(somewhere in Canada)

Ok, the backstory first. Cuz you knowww there’s always a fuckin’ backstory containing the cruuucial details that make all the difference in the world. And I need some advice, for real though. I mean, what’s a woman to do when she simply can’t decide? Answer: Ask a friend. So I’m askin’.

Here’s the story.
This guy was actually the first sexual fantasy I ever had. How fucked is that? That’s pretty much all I remember about, let’s call him, theCoolKid. Ya, we’re going back to that shit, high school days. Fuck, pre-highschool even. He was my big brother’s friend when I was still in elementary school! I’m talking 10, 11 years old… nottt good years for my look. And I’m from a stuuupidly small town, like one highschool small, so we all grew up together. Him and my brother got close after a few years and he started coming over and hanging out more often. Cut to a year before highschool and if you know my stories you can imagine how incredibly sexual I was at this point, even if I wasn’t ready to explore that with someone else… but the truth is, I thought about it with this one. For the first time ever I wanted to reallllly know what it would be like to have that incredible orgasm I’d craved like a drug for years with someone else.

In my present memory of this little crush, it was short lived. We weren’t in the same circles at all. And there were really only a few to begin with. I was always a chameleon, in my mind, I floated from group to group and was kinda friends with everyone. Really I was a bit of a loner. I liked spending time on my own, I was always kinda doin my own thing. Social, but livin’ two lives forsure. He was, well theCoolKid. Everyone knew him, he was well liked. Even was nice to the ugly girls, blah blah. A social butterfly and the principal’s son.

I left this small town when I was 16 and JUST starting to get hot. I didn’t even hit puberty til 6 months later and was still a virgin. So cut to present, none of those people have seen me for 12 years minimum and I get this message, you guessed it, from theCoolKid a few days ago and he says he’s comin to myCity for the weekend and wants to link, if I’m interested. (P.S. Classic insecure addition to a perfectly cool request to link). So I rip through his facebook real quick and outside of seeming to have gained some weight, he looked like a decent enough guy. I was curious enough so I thought, fuck it, why not catch up? I message back and tell him I’m workin’ all weekend and he should stop by my bar and say hi with the friend he’s visiting with.

Next day is Friday and long story short, he goes to an event and stops by after. Let’s be specific though, cuz I know you wanna know, Ladies… What kinda guy is he? The rough and burley type. Used to be a basketball player. Jock from a small town, that’s his type to a tee. He’s theCoolKid. Always talkin’ and tellin’ jokes. He’s tall too, like 6’7” tall. Which is obviously sexy as fuck, but I ain’t into the beard, and his was scruffy and blah in my mind. Still kinda beautiful though. The eyes, the smile. And when I saw him in person he wasn’t as heavy and outta’ shape as I thought. Still athletic forsure, just one of those body types that if he isn’t constantly training he carries a bit of extra weight around the middle. More soft than anything, and to me, sloppy. Definitely not myStyle. I’m tiny as fuck and have incredible stamina in bed and an even more ferocious appetite. So I really need someone who can keep up and doesn’t crap out on me. I like to play the tap out game.

Hmmm, what else can I tell you to give you a good feel for this guy? Man, cuz I can break this down as ‘For’ and ‘Against’ all day long, just like the lawyer I used to wanna be. But the real question becomes… and really the only question is… is it worth it if it wasn’t worth it?

Hear me out, cuz there’s important shit I haven’t told you yet. Question: If he ain’t any good, or I just leave feeling like it was crap sex, or a shit connection, or whatever, like it was a waste of my youth when I’m gunna go home and fuck myself until I’m satisfied anyways…. will it have been worth it to fuck my childhood crush just for the sentimentality of it? You gotta weigh it out right? I can and always have fucked who I want, when I want, so after 10+ years of runnin’ a roster, it ain’t enough, the sentimentality of an old crush fuck is only worth it about half the time in my limited experience. Jus sayin.

How’s that shit for a dirty fuckin’ question. I laugh at guys who think they’re the only ones with twisted desires and fantasies and fetishes. Pfff, as if. You ever met a free woman with a fierce appetite for power and sex, one that matches perhaps even your own?

Ok, so we’re hangin’ out at the bar and it’s pretty slow, so I get off work early and we’re all hangin out, catchin’ up. End of the night comes, we’ve been drinkin’, him a lot more than me (Con, for anyone keepin’ score) and I got a Rule man, I almost NEVER fuck someone the first time when we’re drunk. It just ain’t my thing. If I’ve fucked the guy before that’s one thing, but the first time I wanna know forsure I can trust him in the simple ways I need to trust someone I sleep with. I’m a little girl man, you gotta be fuckin careful Ladies, no matter how smart and fast and fierce you think you are. You’re dealing with a man (refer to Louis C.K. HBO Special) if you ain’t gettin what I’m saying. And I just wanna, I need to experience a person. If I desire a man, and I wanna taste, then I wanna savour it like french cuisine. I wanna be present and clear, and fuckin in it.

Seriously though, I don’t wanna fuck simply for penis in vagina. That’s like masterbating with another person, not my jam. I wanna feel a man, through and through, even if it is just straight fuckin’. That’s definitely, 100% my jam. I wanna know how he fucks, and what he desires and I wanna play and control and submit, and just fuckin’ rawrrr, you know? Hahaha

So anyways, he’s jsut way too drunk for my taste, meaning you know I ain’t tryna’ fuck that night but maybe keep the link for another night before he leaves, cuz I’m still curious… and since we were really vibin’ and havin’ a great time catchin’ up and hearin’ about each other’s lives and shit I thought I’d be a good woman and bounce as soon as possible, not to let him think there was a chance that night. I don’t like to lead a guy on, or more so just waste people’s time. Even though I knew he wouldn’t like it, it was only cuz he wouldn’t understand I wasn’t fuckin’ him that night, no matter what. Even if it was my only chance and I’d never see him again I still probably wouldn’t. I’m talkin’ worse odds than the lottery here. Zero chance of fuckin’ me that night. Haha

But… I’m a fuckin’ sucker. Fu u u c k . And I stayed and kicked it later than I should’ve. A good girl would’ve gone the fuck home and not let it play out as long as I did. Chillin’ at his place and shit, not smart. He’s all, ‘we can just talk and hang out, it’s cool, we’re just vibin’ so good’, blah blah… And here lies the start of my dilemma. Before those extra hours it was a ‘who cares, I’ma just play this out and either way I’m cool with how this goes’ kinda vibe. Now, it’s this confession shit, layin together and getting all cozy. Too cozy. Lol. I was torn. I am fuckin’ torn. Of course I wanted to fuck. I always wanna fuck. Who the fuck doesn’t? Essspecially for a good fantasy fuck, like a throw back to your past, and I’m talkin’ your fuckin’ passst. This was the fuckin’ original, and he’s fuckin’ standin’ over me all 6’7″, lookin’ all entranced by my transformation from the scrawny little weirdo he knew TWELVE fuckin years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I’m on Facebook, I do post some pics and people have seen me change because of that but it’s a very different thing to see someone who grew up sexy as fuck that you knew from way back. Someone, he confessed later in the evening, that he had always had a majour crush on. BOOM. Validation. Satisfaction. The best thing I could’ve asked for from this one, other than a six pack with all that height, damn. (Truth: This wouldn’t even be a question if he took better care of himself. I’m a sucker for someone with massive self respect. Ha. What can I say?)

theConfession:
He told me that he used to live just a couple blocks away (which was news to me) and that he would sit there for hours sometimes and day dream about walkin’ over to my house, knockin’ on the door and just scooping me up and hugging me, and then just holding me. I ain’t even shittin’ you right now, that’s fuckin’ quoted. And he’s the best cuddler ever, btw cuz he’s tellin’ me all this shit in my ear, keepin’ me warm. I could only imagine how he fucks, cuz like a true control freak, I got up and fuckin left yo. My rules man, they’re there for a fuckin’ reason. So the struggle goes deeper.

Cuz if I fuck this kid, theCoolKid, I gotta be able to tell y’all the story in all it’s juicy details. I mean that’s why we listen to our friends bitch for hours about all their drama, is for the details, ain’t it? Maybe that’s just the lawyer in me, I’ve always thought like that… ‘weigh it out, is it worth it?’

On one hand, you could argue that I’ve always wanted to fuck this kid and therefore, why not?

On the other hand, I know already it’s a 50/50 split on whether or not it’s gunna be any fuckin’ good or not.

And truthfully, I don’t need decent sex right now, I need an incredible fuck.
Quote that shit Ladies. You can even take credit for it. 😉

Right now, what I have is incredible validation of a very old fantasy, and it feels damn good to know that he was right there with me, suffering with desire just like I was. I’ve always said man, that kinda shit is never one sided. You see someone on the street and you catch eye contact for just a split second and you had that sort of quick flutter feeling. I fuckin’ swear they felt it too. It’s so often mutual.

Now that I’m really thinkin about it too, there’s so many more details I could tell you about this story, but I’ve given you enough to make an educated guess and maybe even some good points about what I ‘should’ do, so I’ma leave you with this…

To fuck theThrowBack? Or not to fuck? That is the question.

I’ll be waiting to hear from y’all and be quick about it too, I got less than 24 hours to decide. #Werd

I have some interesting updates for you guys on what’s happening at EBINOTTI right now and what you’ll see changing in the next few weeks.

First, I want to thank all of you who read and interact with theBlog. You’ve been such an inspiration and have really helped clarify what EBINOTTI is and how my team and I can bring you products that will actually help you be more successful and get what you truly desire out of your life.

There’s no more terrifying thought to any human being, at any age than the thought of leaving this beautiful world behind with ‘unfinished business.’ We all want to get to the end with some form of accomplishment, and in order to do that we have to make big impact on our worlds, even if our world is only the small town we came from. We don’t all have to be billionaires and multi millionaires to feel that we accomplished something worthy of being remembered in the histories. (If that is your jam, don’t worry, you know we got’chu. Always.)

So, I have an announcement to make and I’d like to hear all your feedback and thoughts on the direction of EBINOTTI. Scroll to the bottom of the page and grab that email addy. This gives you a direct link to ME, the one, the only, E!

As some of you have probably realized, I am the writer of this blog and all the social media content we put on the web. Although, I do have a team, I am the creator of EBINOTTI and my business partner and I are the founders. A couple of Canadian females, out here, makin’ the world a sexier place.

As you know, if you read theBlog, it’s not all about the sex. It’s about women feeling empowered and confident enough to get out there in this big, bad world and make something of themselves. The confidence brought from feeling sexy is the strongest, most honest confidence of a woman. We are beautiful, almost mystic creatures, as far out of reach to the unaccomplished man as the Unicorns of Myths. And we believe in the power of a woman.

Which is why we’re launching our 1 on 1 coaching course to being the sexy and ambitious woman you are. First though, I wanna hear from you all. You can be my beta test group, if you will.

I wanna know:

Do you want to feel more sexy and confident, so that you can walk into any room and chat with anyone about your life goals and dreams of the future?

Do you wish you had the sexy and appealing confidence to pitch an idea to your peers, but don’t know where to start on getting caught up with all these gorgeous girls posting beauty pictures on Instagram?

Do you feel lost and helpless when it comes to starting, with all the make-up tutorials, the style blogs, the fashion mags, and the hair styles, trends, and celebrity styles, and… (this list goes on forever). Exhausting right. I mean, where do you even start?

Do you want some direction and advice about being sexy and confident and feeling empowered?

I’ll say it until you believe it, we got’chu Boo. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about anything. Send me an email and answer the questions above to get you started. Tell me anything you worry about with confidence and sexiness. And I’ll email you back with some quick and easy steps to get you started.

We’re women, we want to feel desired and confident enough to move through the day without feeling like a shadow!

Here’s some more fun, if you’re feeling unsatisfied with the above questions…

How does your confidence level affect your sex life?

Do you have a great sex life where you feel satisfied more often than you feel frustrated?

If not, what would your dream sex life look like?

Do you believe it’s possible for you to live the life you see in your dreams? Do you even dream anymore?

I know how easy it is sometimes to feel powerless and so insecure that everything you want in life feels out of reach. You immediately want to jump at the simplest path to get you security, but this is not how life is meant to be lived. We’re women, the closest thing to living a ‘fantasy’ is to give into the unbound energy within you.

You’re meant to live the life you dream about. I promise you it’s possible. Why do you think so many successful people tell you to believe in yourself. We’re not trying to be ‘nice’, we’re trying to get through to you!

You have something in you that no one else has. It’s a perfect blend of your own special kind of sugar and spice, and once you find the power within yourself to let that out to the world, everything will be yours. Things you barely allow yourself to dream about will be drawn to you like a magnet.

It takes work, you know it does. But I promise you this isn’t as painful an experience as you think. I will walk you through all the rough patches. I won’t be here one on one forever, but if you get in on this on the ground floor, who knows how high the elevator could go before it stops and we all go our separate ways…

We’re talking sex here, and confidence, and female empowerment. This is a movement, a shift in power whether you get on board or not. Would you rather be part of something great and evolutionary or sit and watch an extraordinary life pass you by? The choice has always been yours.

Email me, tell me what sexy means to you. Tell me what you wish you were capable of, and I will show you how to get there. It really is as simple as that. theGame is yours for the taking if you just learn how to play it.

All my love Darlings. Take the chance. Don’t be shy. Share your dreams. You might just look back one day and realize this was the beginning of a life you couldn’t even have imagined.

…and it’s not reserved for the sexy and beautiful millionaires of the world, trust me.

First of all, Sexy Isn’t A Look, It’s An Attitude.Haven’t you ever met someone beautiful and sexy and then they open their mouth…
Second of all, last time I checked, you don’t have to pay for potentially great sex. You desire and it shall be yours (with a little finishing school touches, of course 😉 …but more on that later.)
If you’re a woman you don’t have to pay for great sex, period. It’s out there waiting for you to actively desire it.

And lastly, Great Sex Isn’t All About Positions And Sexy Visuals.
Atmosphere plays a huge roll in the quality of sex you’re having too. For some it’s candles and sexy music that set the tone. For others, a grimy stairwell in an apartment building at 3AM and the thought of being caught that sets their blood on fire. (We don’t judge.)

Which brings me to my next point. Sex is more about what’s going on in your head than anything else, especially for women.

Let me be clear, if you’re in the middle of great sex, you’re so overwhelmed physically that emotionally you’re lost in the void. You fall from the earth at whirlwind speeds with no hopes of ever reaching solid ground again. Get the idea? You should have no time to think about how you look, or feel, or smell… or what he thinks of you, or how you know he’s fucking someone else. That’s right, you should be in a place where those things are simply details.

If you’ve never felt this, or haven’t felt this in a long time, I wanna’ hear from you… Find the Follow Button, and email me! Write as much or as little as you like, be as personal or as general as you like. Share this anywhere you like. Ask your friends what they think, and get them in on it!

I want you to be having incredible sex, and satisfying the craving like a thirsty vampie. You deserve to be having the best sex of your life! So I’m extending an olive branch for you and anyone you know in need. Everyone needs love and affection, or so they say, but what about physical satisfaction, what about the fulfillment of our desires? Why doesn’t anyone talk about how that would make the world a better place, hmm? Because sex is bad, and degrading to women, and not worth the risk? I think not.

Clearly these people have never had mind blowing, earth shattering sex. It’s fuckin’ inspiring!

I will personally be reading all of your emails and responding. Let me know what’s going on in your sex life and what you think your biggest issue with having great sex is. I’m here to listen and I’m here to help!

Action Steps:

If there was one thing you could improve about your sex life, what would it be?

Like this:

When you’re crushin’ on a guy, and you like him on foundational level, meaning there’s more than just a physical attraction and you wanna sleep with him but can you be the first one to initiate sex if you think there’s potential for a relationship?

On one hand, you’re a sexual, primal beast and on the other hand you’re an ambitious, respectable woman. So how do you show him that there’s more to you than just a sexual appetite? Or even better, how do you show him you want sex, but that’s not all you want…?

When you’re showing him the other sides of your personality, what do you do when you wanna have sex and he hasn’t initiated it yet?

Let me put it this way, you can’t initiate sex if there isn’t a foundation to the friendship yet. As a woman, you can’t do it. And let me be clear, there’s always gunna be exceptions to the rules, but for the most part, you won’t get what you’re looking for if you initiate sex too soon with a guy you want more from than some roster sex. There will be a time and a place when it’s perfectly juicy to initiate sex as a woman, but early stages of building a relationship is NOT the time for it.

I don’t know about you but for us, this picture is worth a thousand words. Being a lady, showing him that you’re a respectable woman with goals and ambition is really difficult when you’re dying to sleep with him. It’s like trying to focus while holding a vibrator to your clit. It’s next to impossible. And yes, on some level you can just do it, just get him alone and fuck him until he begs you to stop, and sure you’ll be a lot more focused to show him all your other sides, but it’s a dangerous game.

Some may say, just go for it. Do as you feel and if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be. And they may even be right, but it’s a huge risk and I’m more strategic than that. There’s always a reason for my actions. There’s always a game. A game meant for all parties to win and get what they want. It’s simple really, if it ain’t fun don’t do it.

And waiting for him to fuck you might not be fun, but seriously, how fuckin’ funny is this image. To us, it immediately represented a female waiting for him to make his move and trying to remain demure.

This image was posted to Instagram and the credit was given to the page that originally held the image. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to think the caption is as funny as we do so let me be clear.

This post and this image are for all the women out there trying to show a man her depth, and wrestling with the beast inside that wants to devour him entirely. We’re not the type of females that usually sit back and let someone else takes the reins, BUT with that being said, we are the type of ladies who make moves with intentions. And when the man that’s around has the potential to be great, we wanna sit back and see what he’s got.

It’s so rare in our lives that we find someone we think has the potential to be a great partner, so we wanna be more careful with this one. We wanna show him all of us, and starting with the physical is usually a game ender.

Being unapologetic doesn’t mean you walk around acting like you know everything and shutting down people and their ideas before you even hear them out. You should listen when people talk, even if they start their sentences with ‘you should…’. Realistically, you don’t know everything and the people in your world are meant to help get you where you wanna go. Remember that when you start feeling high handed. You’re a beast, yes, but what is a lion king without the others around him?

We’re quick to shut down ideas that we don’t like, but sometimes it can be a detriment if we’re not listening with an open mind. A leader will listen, interpret, and put it aside if they don’t like it, knowing that it could be a valuable perspective down the road. You should never let your intelligence make the people around you feel small, or stupid. Be the one who allows people to expand their minds by always being open to new ideas and weighing out the pros and cons of all possibilities.

People often assume they have to change everything in their lives to get where they wanna go, but that’s not always true. Who you are and what you’ve done and how you think have gotten you this far haven’t they? I look at it as a constant desire for upgrades. I upgrade my thoughts, my values and my systems for day to day life when I want more. It’s simple and much less stressful. If you take little things and flip them on themselves to get you better results you constantly move forward and up. There are no stagnant moments where you feel like you’re not making any progress in your life. This way you can avoid the slippery downward spirals we all fall into on occasion. And it’s much easier to claw your way back to neutral when you look at things from this perspective.

You don’t always have to be making giant leaps forward, you just have to keep moving. As long as to you it feels like an improvement, don’t worry about who’s moving faster or making bigger achievements. When it comes time to make huge jumps you’ll be ready with the confidence you’ve built up by making constant progress. We call it, ‘Baby Steps.’

It ties into living spherically. If you make constant moves, then you make constant improvements in your life. You’ll notice how some are big and some are small, but keep in mind that all are progress. Celebrate the little wins as much as you do the big ones. They’re a lot more frequent and can keep you in a heightened state of emotion if you remain aware of them.

A little secret from The Vault: Every morning when I wake up, I get out of bed and make some coffee, I go to the washroom and brush my teeth, and I put my gym shoes on. It’s a small routine that has majour benefits. When I have my gym shoes already on, I find myself moving around the house differently. I put some music on and before I know it I’m bumpin’ and grindin’ in the mirror. I can’t help it. It feels so good to move my body like that, so I do it without thinking about going to the gym, or getting a workout in.

If you try and tell yourself before you go to bed every night that in the morning you’re going to go to the gym, there’s no fun in it. But if you get up in the morning and put your gym shoes on with no ‘must go to the gym’ thought, then you have no expectations and whatever you do will feel like progress.

It really is about the feeling more than the action. The action will follow from the right vibrational feeling if you remain in the now. The now is fun, the now is whatever you want it to be. You can go to the gym or not go to the gym, but either way you’ll feel like you’re free to do as you please.

Isn’t it a curious thing that we fight ourselves. It’s not someone else’s goal for you to go to the gym, it’s your own, so why when you get out of bed do you feel like it’s such a chore. You feel like the gym is a chore and eating right is a chore, and work is a chore, etc. And then what’s worse, if you don’t go to the gym you feel as if you didn’t accomplish something and so begins the spiral downward into self loathing and misery.

Fuck all that. Make your own micro habits, like putting on your gym shoes and let the rest be fun. Stressing about all the things you need to do isn’t helping anyone, especially not you. So fuck it.

Someone told me once when I was about 16, sexy isn’t a look, it’s an attitude. It stuck. And over the years it’s really evolved in my mind, and especially in my life.

I’m starting this blog because I think everyone (especially women) should feel and therefore be, sexy.

We’re all sexual creatures, and having grown up in a very open and diverse culture (Canada), I’ve been very lucky to be able to express myself sexually. That being said, there is a fine line I think that gets crossed more often than not amongst young women as to what is sexy and what is just a nasty, self debasing need for attention from men that have no idea how to treat a woman or girl. Pop culture today is a gross over expression of sexuality, and this is coming from a 27 year old woman who loves (and I mean…

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When you move through your day to day, when you go to work, or talk to your roomate, or message the guy you’re crushin’ on it’s crucial that you pay attention to your emotional state. Get in there and feel for a minute. You wanna think about the things and people and anything else that makes you feel good. Avoid and boycott everything else as if it’s terminal and contagious. Seriously, do it just like that.

You wanna keep a natural happy place inside at all times, and from this you can make magic happen. Anything you want is yours. You can literally attract things as if you were a magnet, in real time. Like I’ve said before, it has to be genuine or it doesn’t work the same. You’ll attract things alright, no matter what you do you’ll attract things, it’ll just be the same old shit. And who wants that?

But if it starts from a feeling place, if it starts internally, inside your gut and up to your heart (in the physical) and you keep that neutral then you’re in the right place for all your dreams to come true.

It sounds like a fantasy, like it’s too easy and there’s no work involved, but trust me it’s easier said than done. To hold this vibrational state for an hour, let alone your whole day, or lifetime is a great achievement. That’s why there are people all over the world who practise deep meditation and shut themselves away from the social world for periods of time, some even do it their whole adult lives. That’s how important this state really is to mankind. It sounds ridiculous at times, and especially in some Social Circles, but believe me, it’s as real at the device you’re reading this on. The intangible, the non-physical, the unprovable, that is where we will find our evolution. It is in the mind that we will find limitless possibilities.

I personally, as usual, want it all. I wanna vibrate in a high mental state and live smack dab in the middle of the chaos… ish. I can’t stand the idea of leaving parts of this life behind to find enlightenment, or evolution, or God… however you wanna describe something other wordly, do so, this is not the time for a word war. Today we think about and discuss, if you like, emotional states and the Law of Attraction.

I don’t know why we love to distract ourselves so much, it feels so much better when we’re consciously aware and in control, or at least more receptive to our emotional state. There’s nothing quite like feeling that natural high, contentment, satisfaction. It’s pure pleasure and it comes from inside, there’s no drug or physical pleasure being introduced, it’s just a feeling and it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. We’re at our strongest and most capable in these moments. And how sad that they’re usually only fleeting moments in lifetimes. The truly powerful people on the planet have habitualized this feeling and explored some of the possibilities of this cool, calm and collected vibe but I believe there’s even greater potential in it than we could ever imagine.

It’s a weird thing to have a discussion about it with friends or family, even weirder with someone you barely know, although that can have it’s positives, the inhibition we naturally hold around strangers. We find ourselves stumbling over the thoughts that are so sporadic and scattered that they’re hard to articulate. BUT if we find ourselves in the presence of someone else who has tried and tested some of the theories of creating miracles and attracting everything they desire we can find some validation in our beliefs of the magic of the Universe and some of our own power naturally presents itself.

Haven’t you ever had one of those incredible days, where everything just goes your way? It’s like the day just keeps bringing you higher and higher. Sometimes, incredible things happen and it’s like the cherry on top because the day was already going so smoothly.

And then the opposite, as they say, when it rains it pours.

You created all of that. The key to the Universe and yourself is to figure out how you created that incredible day in the first place. Maybe when you woke up and turned on the radio there was a great song that put you in a particularly happy mood, and you moved through your day on that natural high. Maybe it was a great cup of coffee, and man that’s just what you needed cuz now you feel like a million bucks. You get in the shower and your shampoo just smells so damn good. When you get out and put your lotion on it’s just the most incredible moment where it feels so good rubbing it into your skin, and it smells so good… and your perfume next… mmm, your favourite. It’s like smelling it for the first time all over again. You inhale deeply and in this moment you’re so aware of the pleasure of the scent. Let these moments drift on and on until they naturally fade.

Do you see how you can compound the high from one little, seemingly insignificant thing and keep it going. Always look for the things you love, the little things, and how much you enjoy them. This feeling of luxury and self love is the most powerful thing in the world. It sets the tone and radiates the energy for the Universe to act. The Universe loves this feeling and when you’re in this natural state (and it IS your natural state) you are your most powerful. You can create any kind of magic you can imagine in a moments time. With the snap of your fingers your can change your life and someone else’s. You have no idea how much your mood and your smile and your energy can affect the people around you. One little compliment on those shoes you saw a girl wearing on the subway can make someone’s day. It’s not about the response you get, it’s simply spreading the love. And maybe she goes on in her day to do the same.

If we all vibrated in this state the possibilities of what we’re capable of are truly limitless. Be the one who creates the good vibes, not the one who brings everyone else’s energy down. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, be the foundation of goooood vibes. If it sucks, laugh it off.. if it hurts, cry and laugh like a madman. If you’re mad, be mad and yell, swear, freak out (preferably not at work or in public) and then let it go. Never confront for vengeance or validation unless absolutely necessary. It’ll only drain your energy. Adrenaline is not the same as good energy.

All you have to do is feel good, and be aware of yourself and others. It sounds simple, and it is, but it’s a practise that is most influential when you make it a habit.

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You’ll hear me talk about it over and over, how important it is to move in many directions at once, but I don’t mean starting a bunch of things and never finishing them or spreading your attention to so many things that you never really give your full attention to anything. That’s quite the opposite actually. What I mean when I say you have to live spherically is much simpler than that.

You start something, a project or a new adventure and at some point all those amazing creative juices stop flowing and you become anxious about the whole project. It happens like the flick of a switch, suddenly nothing makes sense and what once gave you great joy and energy is draining you and becoming a source of frustration. This is when it’s time to move your focus onto something else. Another project or a more solid part of your life, like your job or your social life. You don’t completely let go of the project you just put it aside until the feeling of working on it balances out and you find joy and creation in it again. This is the crucial step to living spherically. You have to know when to push through and keep going and when to just let it go for a minute. You can’t force things, especially creative things. They’re like matters of the heart, they will have their own way in the grand scheme of things, so you have to keep your focus on the big picture. Everything fits together in your life to make one perfect recipe that gets you what you desire and moves you forward constantly. Sometimes things need time to evolve naturally and sometimes things just need to be finished. You’ll know the difference if you’re being honest and genuine with yourself. The feeling of the right move is undeniable if you have the courage to make any move necessary.

You mustn’t fear change, it’s an evolution of thought that becomes a necessity to the growth of your dreams and a priority on your path to greatness and to achieving a life you deem worthy of living.

It all sounds so serious, but it’s really more fun than anything. Think about it, the more you move in your life, in any direction, the more progress you make. You’ll always be moving forward no matter how focused you remain on one project. Eventually everything will get done if you dedicate yourself to it, but it happens so organically that you’ll probably even surprise yourself at what you’re capable of and what you accomplish from constant movement. From experience I’ll tell you, it almost feels magical. Especially when you’re creating something, but even more so when the people and resources you need fall from the sky and land beautifully in your lap. You’ll get this sense of high, like there’s some great secret you’re tapping into. Keep the thoughts about it on the inside, you don’t want to start explaining all the coincidences away into seemingly singular things, and you definitely don’t need people’s opinions on these magical moments. You can share the feelings though, they’ll make the people around you as high as you are, and through that only good things will manifest. The people around you on the same level will remain there and get high with you, and everyone else will kind of fall away and do their own thing. Either way, you’re moving in the right direction, you can feel it.

You have to be willing to make the moves, sure, but you really just have to be willing to keep an open mind, all day, everyday. With this, you have the most powerful gift, you are free from your own toxic judgements and you will see the truth behind the veil, you’ll see how much the universe wants you to get what you desire when what you desire is genuine.

You’ll get everything you want, but you’ll also create paths for other’s to do the same. This is like having your cake and eating it too. And you know how much we love cake around here!

The simplest way to start living spherically right now is to break up your life into categories and see where your priorities lie. Check out this post and see what I mean by having separate parts of your life that all have different needs to fulfill.

Professional Life: where you create and build.
Personal Life: where you fulfill your desires.
Social Life: where you have fun and build your team.
Love Life: where you connect deeply with others.
Sex Life: where you fuck and become primal.

Where do you get the most excited thoughts in this list? I mean, we’re all excited by sex, but how about success, power, influence. Does that excite you also? It won’t be the same for everyone, that would be fuckin’ lame, but we can all agree that we have one life and one mission, to achieve _____, fill in the blank.

For more, I’ll be back tomorrow, writing some thoughts and ideas and always opening up a discussion, if you have something worth saying feel free to comment.

I will soon be opening up a more personal communication line via email, if you feel sincere in your thoughts but not interested in public opinion, I’ll be here.