Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Dad Petrelli: Elephants weren't made for fifteen thousand feet. You'd need to give them oxygen up there. You'd have monkeys flopping over, giraffes barfing all over each other - it's just not practical!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

1. Don't go to bed angry. Say goodbye. And I love you.
2. Somethings are important in life, the rest is just filler and not necessarily worth your time. Let go of the excess. It just doesn't matter.
3. When things fall apart, the people that matter will still be there.
4. Read the ingredients and err on the side of caution.
5. Sometimes you really don't know what a good thing you have until its absence slaps you in the face.
6. Each person you meet is new and exciting, but only for so long. Or, "eventually everybody turns into a Brian."
7. Don't spend all your time and energy giving if you're not getting anything back. Sometimes you need to put yourself first.
8. Swimming is terribly boring, but can be so therapeutic.
9. The physical time that someone is in your life is by no means directly related to their impact on you.
10. You can never have too much patience, grace or humility. Keep a supply of each at the ready.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Scott: Well, if you had a ham sandwich with mayonaise all over it sitting outside for three days, that would be pretty horrible. But, if you had a girlfriend with mayonaise all over her, sittting outside for three days, that might not be as horrible.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Kareem: I once stopped traffic so that a snake could cross the road. But don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of super animal lover. I ride my bike through Marymoor Park everyday and I see if I can ride close enough to the geese to kick one. I mean, I bet I could launch one of them REALLY far. Like, punt it all the way back to Canada.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Joel: I saw Bernie earlier. He was eating Corn Flakes. With Raisins. Always something healthy. To start the day anyway. Me - I eat a can of tomatoes.
Jen: With salt and pepper, I assume. Are they whole? Or diced?
Joel: Oh diced. I used to eat whole ones, but then I dropped one and you know what happens then. You know how they shampoo the carpets every year? I think it's because of my whole tomato incident.
Jen: I see. I've been eating eggs in the morning, maybe I have it all wrong.
Joel: You should try the tomatoes sometime. I have two can openers at my desk and you're welcome to borrow them any time.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Deb: Matt, I saw you riding the other day!
Matt: Oh yeah, did you say "Woah! J-Lo is in Southern Maryland! TERRIFIC." No, that was just me. And my ass.
Deb: I thought you were skinny. You have a waist, afterall.
Matt: Yes, I am skinny. I'm Southern Maryland Skinny.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Some suggestions for diversions (without a clue as to where you are):
- take a book to nearest park
- take a book to nearest wine bar
- check out the closest museum, regardless of what it is.
- find nearest karaoke bar, drink then sing. Bonus for getting your colleagues drunk and posting video on facebook.
- find nearest pinball machine, kick its ass
- find a real pool hall (not pub with tables).
- go to nearest movie theatre, see next movie, regardless of what it is. Eat popcorn.
- check out the nearest small airport, have a drink if possible, bonus if they have food. Take pictures of unusual planes, send to Richard
- check out nearest bowling alley, be alert to freak show
- go to walmart and look for the biggest ass (be prepared to be scared)

Arrived in Michigan about 3:30 p.m. Friday, May 7, 2010
Went to dinner with Andrew at a Middle Eastern Restaurant

Saturday, May 8, 2010 after a leisurely morning, we went to lunch. Lauren of John and Lauren joined us at Noodles on Grand River across the street from MSU.
Went back to Hotel and got ready for Andrew's Graduation Ceremonies.
Graduation Ceremonies commenced at 4:00 p.m. and ended about 6:00 p.m.
Reception after graduation with punch, cheese, and crackers.
Left graduation ceremony and went to pick up Andrew's mattress from the basement of a friend's house.
Loaded his mattress into the van noticing that it had gotten wet in the basement and had a fair amount of mold.
Drove mattress to Music School Building where Andrew and I disposed of it in a dumpster behind the building. 1,2,3 and heave ho!
Andrew picked up a few items from the music building that he had in the Bass Room.
From there we went to pick up Andrew's belongings from storage in the basement of apartment building where he stayed first semester.
Andrew and I were still in our suits and suit coats!
Loaded van.
Went back to Hotel.
Changed into our regular clothes.

Departed from Michigan
Headed to Grandma Wiese's house.
Arrived at Grandma Wiese's house about 11:30 p.m.
Went to bed.

Sunday, May 9, 2010
Rise and shine at 4:45 a.m.
Left Grandma's house at 5:25 a.m.
Andrew drove us to Midway Airport where he took flight to Houston, Texas
Mom and I drove north to Milwaukee stopping at a Cracker Barrel restaurant about 20-25 minutes south of the Wisconsin border
Arrived back home at 10:00 a.m.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Joe: Hey, I need to paint my toenails. Have any nail polish I could borrow?
Jeny: Yes I do. Bathroom. Medicine cabinet. Top shelf? Look around. Shouldn't be anything embarrassing. For you or me. And make sure you shake it!
Joe: Oh good call. I don't do this every day (that you know of)!!
Jeny: I only wish I could be there.
Joe: How long does it take to dry?
Jeny: Give it at least 10 min. Should be dry to the touch by then.
Joe: Do you have remover?!?
Jeny: Bottom shelf. Back left corner.
Joe: Phew! Thanks!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Jeny: What are you doing tomorrow night? Because Niki's coming over for arts & crafts night. That's your fair warning.
Joe: Well... that's actually perfect, because tomorrow night I was going to make a paper mache sundial. But since the sun doesn't come out until like, June, no matter where I put it in the house, it will always be the same time.