Monday, October 16, 2006

I also showed my ass

Well, I did that today. Except not in the metaphorical sense. Literally, I think I showed my ass.

Now, let's begin at the beginning. The beginning of this story is Saturday at 1:30 pm. I am trying to leave the house with my mom and my nephew. I trip in my apartment (over a shoe, that place really is a pit). Should have taken it as an omen. Because as we're trying to leave for the store, I pretty much just fall out of the front door. With Liam in my arms. I thought I broke him, but he really just has a scratch on his nose. (Andrew, I promise, I won't walk while holding your girl, honest!)

I, on the other hand? Ass over teakettle, totally fell on my face. My ankle? Is so effed up. Will follow up with an orthopaedic dr tomorrow. I am in an Aircast and crutches. Which, strangely enough, given my exhibited grace in the beginning of this story, I AM NOT GOOD AT CRUTCHING. This comes into play with the showing of the ass.

Lucky for me, the injured ankle is on my left, so I can drive to school. Thanks Gob. But, actually getting into the library (and across the parking lot to the library) proved exhausting. As I was about to get to the door, I noticed one of my students in the doorway. He is a nice boy and was waiting to hold the door for me. I got in the front door okay, and was able to, in a most dignified manner, hop down the steps, 9 in all.

This is where it gets, um, unfortunate.

There is a set of double doors, the vestibule, and then my classroom's doors. Between the two sets of doors, I wiped out on my crutches. Seriously wipee out. Like, flat on my ass, have no idea how to get up, and oh my god these pants are a little big on me kind of fall. So one of my students just might have seen my ass today. I think he deserves extra credit, no?

When he helps me to my feet and opens the door to the classroom (mercifully window-free), EVERY student is looking. I do know how to make an entrance, baby!

He definitely deserves extra-credit. Those crutches are almost as much of a pain as the actual injury. Do you remember in high school? When somebody was on crutches, everyone want to play like they actually needed crutches. I hope that you are recovered soon from the original injury, from the crutching, and from the ass-showing. Way to go teach...your students probably love even more.

If it makes you feel any better, some fellow doc students were SCREAMING with laughter the other day because in the middle of an epidemiology lecture, their (female) professor broke wind. Loudly. She finished her sentence, looked up from her notes, said, "Oh, excuse me" and continued talking about the Cholera epidemic of 1850 like nothing happened. Now THAT's showing your ass!