"People were telling us that the stores were too dark, gothic and intimidating to the average customer," said Hot Topic’s Chief Financial Officer James McGinty in a press conference, as quoted in this CNN article.

McGinty’s announcement marks a noteworthy attempt to soften the black-clouded blow of the “I like cheese”/”I hear voices”/”People like you are the reason people like me are on medication”-tee-shirted masses of Good Charlotte-listening, Napoleon Dynamite-laughing, vacant-staring-from-too-much-video-gaming clientele.

Generalizing aside: after enduring three years of declining sales (post the store’s '90s success), Hot Topic wants to go softer. Seriously. McGinty says HT is responding to changing customer interest, that the style of the store’s regulars is changing, and scaring away seemingly normal people isn’t making money anymore.

Sure, paint over the black walls, brighten the color scheme, and re-organize the merchandise displays. I’m guessing HT could be (er..?) more marketable then. But in essence, McGinty & co. are making a tragic error: providing an easy platform for complaints from their exclusive market of dissatisfied ANGRY KIDZ. Great. Another thing for said ANGRY BOIZ and HOTT REBEL GURLZ to want to eat my puppy over, besides inner-conflicts over suburbia, growing up, and the boy/girlfriend they met while perusing the parachute pants rack that never understood their conflict over... suburbia and growing up. Mmmm. Things will be nice.

As long as a change is in order though (something that would be worth looking into), Mister McGinty is eliminating Hot Topic’s uninviting smell (a rank balance of incense, cheap fabric, and ass). That ought to round up some customers faster than you can say "Jesus Christ, Marilyn Manson kills puppies! OH MY GOD! I heard he eats puppies! Live! Who the FUCK kills puppies? I know you think it's an urban legend, but he even looks like a fucking puppy killer!"

Gypsy punk is the new black. Or at least it should be. With all this so-called, new-fangled ‘blog house’ music going around right after ‘screamo’ and ‘dance punk’ went out of fashion, what we need is some diversity. The turnaround on the internet is working in cycles of about 12 minutes now, so we'll be poised for a Next Big Thing in about... 4 minutes if my calculations are correct. Peter, Bjorn and John aren't cool anymore, right? Here on this soapbox, I'd like to nominate the aforementioned genre of ‘gypsy punk’ for a spot in the limelight. Sure, Beirut and DeVotchKa were warming up, but its been a minute, and I just don't think the sub-genre has peaked yet. Plus, Gogol Bordello are legit to the max. Real immigrants!

I know being an immigrant isn't the hottest thing in the Red, White & Blue these days, but don't worry, these guys are not from Mexico. I repeat: Gogol Bordello are immigrants, but are NOT from Mexico -- and they're not even Muslim. That's right, you can stop shielding your children's eyes. Everyone is still safe and so are your jobs! Phew. I know I got you nervous for a little bit there when I brought in the whole immigration thing. Your palms got all sweaty and your heart started beating fast. Don't worry, I empathize; I really do. This is America. And as Toby Keith once said, "We'll put a boot in your ass. It's the American way." Just have to put it out there. We're watching you, Gogol Bordello. Stay lawful.

That said, Gogol Bordello have been holding it down on the Lower East Side since 1999 playing a hybrid of The Clash-style punk music, open to influence (but not like Mick Jones' Clash; that's mostly garbage) and traditional Eastern European music. Lead singer Eugene Hutz is even blossoming as an actor, starring alongside Iggy Pop-to-be Elijah Wood in the big screen adaptation of Everything Is Illuminated (in which music by DeVotchKa and Gogol Bordello can be heard). And while I can't personally vouch for their legality, I can say that I am anticipating their forthcoming full-length, Super Taranta!, due July 10 on Side One Dummy.

Jona Bechtolt, one half of duo The Blow, officially announced he has left that group. You remember The Blow; you heard them on indie dance nite at your local bar and have been meaning to check out their stuff ever since. Anyway, Bechtolt will be focusing on his other project, YACHT, the one-man band you haven't heard yet but keep reading about and/or are confusing with Yacht Rock. Just kidding, I know that only the most in-touch kids, the coolest of the cool, read TMT.

This development seemingly throws the future of The Blow, which had consisted of Bechtolt and Khaela Maricich, into strange, yet familiar, waters. Maricich started the group and was its sole member until the addition of Bechtolt on 2005's Poor Aim: Love Songs EP, which was given the "re-release with bonus tracks" treatment this year by K Records. The duo also put out Paper Television (K) in 2006, which garnered KM & JB much attention and acclaim.

The last few months have seen a flurry of YACHT-related activity. In addition to touring (with bands such as LCD Soundsystem and Tussle), his latest record, I Believe You, Your Magic Is Real (TMT Review), was released last month via Marriage Records. The month before saw a YACHT remix album, with remixes of Architecture in Helsinki, Tussle, Mirah, and more, entitled Our Friends In Hell, on States Rights Records.

YACHT's recent rise in profile via music sites and blogs, plus Bechtolt's absence from The Blow's live lineup as of late, made this news less then surprising. It must also be mentioned that YACHT is about to start a whole new batch of tourdates. This time around, the vessel will start off with LCD again, then meet up with Architecture In Helsinki, later heading across the sea with Au Revoir Simone, before coming back to the U.S. for the Monolith Festival at Red Rocks, Colorado. You can keep up with Jona's exploits on his "YACHT on Tour Forever" series by means of sound pictures, words, and sounds.

As Woody Allen might say, "The difference between sex and music is that with music you can do it alone, and no one is going to make fun of you."

With the Boston Red Sox (1982-1992), New York Yankees (1993-1997), and Tampa Bay Devil Rays (admittedly forgettable), Wade Boggs became a legend. From the cornfields of Nebraska, Wade honed his third basemen skills and batting proficiency on his way to becoming a baseball Hall of Famer (inducted in 2005). The band The Boggs play what they like to call "post-folk-garage-punk-folk-punk-blues-and-disco" in the way that Wade Boggs played "post-DiMaggio-proto-Tony Gywnn-nose-to-the-grindstone" baseball. That is to say, extremely well and mad-consistent. Boggs recorded 12 straight All-Star appearances, something The Boggs plan to top (respectfully) with 13 shows to come. A career .328 hitter, Wade had seven consecutive seasons of 200 or more hits, an American League record. The Boggs have a record out now that they like to call Forts, following up 2002's We Are The Boggs We Are (as Wade was quoted as saying after his only World Series victory with the Yankees) and 2003's Stitches (which Wade received after his career ending knee injury). For their current tour, The Boggs have recruited Peter Hale and Leif Huckman of Trick and The Heartstrings, as well as Ellie Everdell and Alex Luther.