Some people are just born with an innate sense of patriotism. They never worry at all and seem to live for this very moment. This is the type of person you want in your flight crew. Someone who’s ready to open the doors and ride to glory like a cowboy.

“Love The Bomb” by Alvarejo shows Super Mario sitting on a Bullet Bill waving his cowboy hat reminiscent of Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove. The chain reaction will be devastating for the Mushroom Kingdom, but the scene will live forever.

One mushroom makes you larger, another makes you small, green is for 1Ups, and then there’s this one… Chances are that it will turn you into a frickin’ lunatic with a bloody trail of carnage behind you. Bowser won’t be any trouble at all, but before you rescue the Princess you should let the effects die down a bit and maybe clean yourself up. You won’t get a very warm reception if you’re wearing Bowser as a hat.

“Say No To Drugs” by Harebrained shows Mario getting a little carried away with the magic mushrooms. There’s a trail of blood and bones and the castle’s on fire, but it looks like he’s having a good time.

Not sure if I’ve been playing too many video games or if the man behind the counter is an artistic genius.

“Yoshi Sushi” shows rolls and rice elegantly arranged as Super Mario’s friendly sidekick and friend. It’s like playing a game of dinosaur Operation, only you eat the body parts after you extract them. Okay, bad analogy.

Peach, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. I’m madly in love with you and it’s not because of your brains or personality.

“Sunshine” by Verso shows Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad loading into the VW Bus after push starting their way to California. Warm and fuzzy. I’ll probably even tear up when Little Miss Peach does her Super-Bob-Omb dance routine.

It had been a tough day in the Mushroom Kingdom and Mario was looking for an escape. He casually slid a quarter into the new machine that had just been installed, “Real Life!,” it was called. The game was tough at first, but pretty soon he was shaving smoothly and swiftly dodging cars on his morning commute. Mario was kicking ass on the work screens too. He was up to 62 WPM on the keyboard, got to decorate the walls of his cubicle with pictures of his cat, and even earned some bonus points for getting a promotion before Level 5. Yes, things were looking good.

As the levels wore on, Mario realized something. They weren’t changing. They were exactly the same; only harder because he was slower, filled with stress, and getting a little absent-minded. Bills to pay, kids screaming, car in the shop, hair falling out… everything. Make it stop! This-a-game-a-sucks!!

“This Game Sucks” by WanderingBert shows some classic video game characters at the arcade watching Mario play an awful game, the game of real life.