Tuesday, November 30, 2010

United Future Organization - PilgrimsThis trio of Japanese men have this sound that reminds me of funk, soul, and chillout all at the same time. Interesting mix.

Billy Paul Williams - Dreaming Out LoudThis song has been on rotation on one the music channels on Directv (the station is called either Zen or New Age). No lyrics. Just a sound that somehow conveys urgency and calm at the same time.

Miriam Stockley - HomelandA random pickup. I completed the phrase and then thought to lookup a song with this title. I'm glad I did since I enjoy Celtic music a bit.

Monday, November 29, 2010

I've never liked Tyler Perry's movies*. I've watched a few of them and from what I've heard it seems like watching one means you've watched them all. And it was when I came across this article today that I decided I needed to get around expressing my displeasure with them here.

Simply put according to Tyler there are only two types of black men. First is the morally bankrupt thug that hates women (mostly black women). Second is the hard working Christian man that is down on his luck. That's it. No more no less. Given that I'm neither of those men I apparently don't exist.

Don't get me wrong here. I am fully aware that for a lot of people the content in those movies is a representation of what their lives are. I'm not trying to say that there are no morally bankrupt thugs, hard working Christian men, and the black women caught in between them. What I am saying is that there is a huge difference between occasionally telling this story and building a movie franchise off of stereotypes.

So maybe when Perry learns that there are other black men out there that aren't trying to be woman hating criminals or Christians trying to start a relationship with a woman with God as his savior then maybe I'll give his movies the time of day.

* - And those Madea movies bother me too. Why? Because I'm finding to be less and less funny to see someone who is not part of a certain group dress up like a member of said group and then proceed to make money off of getting people to laugh at that group and the stereotypes that haunt them. This is also why I'm kinda glad that Eddie Murphy's career has fallen off. Karma for those Nutty Professor movies.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

When it comes to living masculinity (or femininity for that matter) different people have different ways of living it. Some feel its about sexuality. Some feel its about sports. Some feel its about mechanics and so on and so on. Let me ask.

Is your masculinity your real face or is it a mask?

You may wonder what this has to do with being a man. Simple part of the script of being a man is that you are expected to live the life of masculinity. Yes there are men out there who don't bother calling their way masculinity but for the most part most men embrace what society calls masculinity. And really there is nothing wrong with that...as long as you are not hurting anyone and are living it because you want to rather than fulfilling someone else's expectations of being a man.

Let's take emotions. Do you have a limited emotional range because that's just the way you are or are you just putting on an act so that people will think you're a "real man"?

Work. Do you work outrageous hours and basically choose career over family because you love your job and/or need to support your family or are you just doing your duty as the provider role because you're a man?

Do you get into sports (playing or spectating) because you actually like them or is it because you want to make sure your masculinity is validated to everyone else?

Is being attracted only to women just the way you roll or is there more to (or something different about) your sexuality that is buried under the cultural expectations of being a horndog that is overwhelmed by the never ending quest to get the nookie.

I think that questioning the parts of what is currently understood to be masculinity is a rather important step to working on what should and should not be a part of it. And more importantly it must established that when talking about what should and should not be a part of one's masculinity we cannot really talk about a single masculinity that everyone must abide by. Just like faces we each have our own masculinity and we must me free to express it as we see fit.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

It would seem that Bryan Fischer thinks that the fact that the Medal of Honor has only been awarded for saving lives rather than killing them is a sign that the medal itself has been feminized. If you want to go on about how that's so sexist against women or high five someone over the thought that saving lives is considered feminine (that whole moral superiority of women thing) then this is not the place. I'm here to wonder what the hell is going through Fischer's mind that has him thinking that inflicting violence in and of itself is masculine and worthy of reward and/or that inflicting violence is on par with offering your life in the place of someone else's (remember most of the people that perform such actions never live to actually receive the medal).

As you know we live in a society that pressures men and boys to embrace violence. Might makes right. Violence solves everything and so on and so on.

My gripe with his article is that he seems to willfully embrace the violent standard of masculinity and dismiss all else as feminine. As a person who is building his own masculinity (and hopefully helping others do the same) this does not sit well with me.

It would be one thing if he was talking about awarding people who have the courage to endanger themselves while committing such violence but I'm not getting that vibe from. I really think that he wants to award people for the acts of violence in and of themselves. One thing he does is invoke Jesus.

However, Jesus’ act of self-sacrifice would ultimately have been meaningless - yes, meaningless - if he had not inflicted a mortal wound on the enemy while giving up his own life.

The significance of the cross is not just that Jesus laid down his life for us, but that he defeated the enemy of our souls in the process. It was on the cross that he crushed the head of the serpent. It was on the cross that “he disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in it” (Colossians 2:15).

I'm agnostic but it seems to me that he is missing out on another significant part of what Jesus did when he gave up his life for the sake of others. It would have been very possible to inflict that mortal wound he speaks of, and possibly more damage, if he had raised an army and went to war. But he didn't. Its not so much what he did but how he did it. He achieved change through non-violence (and he would not be the last to do this). In fact I'd be willing to bet that a lot of Christians hold Jesus in such high regard for the precise reason that even in the face of certain death he was still peaceful and never struck in anger and violence.

I don't care what this man says it would be wrong to award such a prestigious honor for the act of violence and violence certainly not an inherent part of masculinity.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I don't dance plain and simple. Given that electronica and dance are my favorite genres of music that sounds odd I'm sure. But while I was out one night on my vacation the woman I was with dropped some of the illest and most profound advice on me.

"Dance like no one is watching".

You see the main reason I don't dance is because I am horribly self conscious about my body, to the point that yes there are times when I don't like my body. If I were to dance I would go nuts thinking about what the people around me are thinking when they see me dance. And she challenged my thoughts on the matter.

We we sitting and watching people dance at this one cafe we went to and she asked if noticed anyone looking at the people dancing and truthfully not many people were paying attention to them.

Later on that night when she got me up on the dance floor I noticed she was right. No one was paying attention me. I was able to just dance and do my thing and let the music flow through me and let it take over.

And when you think about it it applies to more than just the dance floor. When living your life in general you have to do your own thing and not worry about others (unless of course we are talking about those you are directly responsible for but otherwise this holds true).

In summation I think this is the result of not going out very often. That's something I will have to work on. Need to stop wondering who's looking at me and just let the beat take over.

Here I Stand, With Steam Coming Out of My Ears: Bored with deluge of steampunk that seems to be everywhere you look and think its more about look than substance? I think Yuki-Onna agrees with you. And I have to admit that I kinda agree as well.

Two steps forward, one step back: "Male victims still remain shrouded in silence, part of it self-imposed, part of it socially imposed, and part of it imposed by the very organizations who ought to help them. Breaking that silence takes effort, not just on the part of male victims being willing to speak, but on the part of people being willing to listen."

Saturday, November 20, 2010

If you don't know I'm against circumcision unless there is medical necessity or if its an adult choosing to have it done. Well it would seem that there are forces at work attempting to not just turn people against it but to make it straight up illegal.

Those who violate the ban could be jailed (not more than one year) or fined (not more than $1,000), under his proposal.

"Intactivist" (an activist that advocates against circumcision) Lloyd Schofield and other activists like him seek to make it "unlawful to circumcise, excise, cut, or mutilate the whole or any part of the foreskin, testicles, or penis of anyone 17 or younger in San Francisco".

On one hand I would very much like to see something done about circumcision. Its benefits are debatable at best and pipe dreams at worst.

People have this done to their sons for reason ranging from health benefits to religion to plain old vanity.

There seems to be conflicting science whether or not circumcision is of actual benefit. Some studies suggest it does help prevent infections while other say it makes no difference (I myself would like to see some data comparing the effectiveness of circumcision versus that of sex education and genital hygiene). If anything I think there should be some solid evidence proving that there are actual health benefits to it before putting so many boys through it.

Religion is a tough one. You see when you talk about religion you talk about culture, history, and tradition. Its not as easy to strike down why Muslims and Jews (and anyone else who practices for religious reasons) have been doing this as it is for Westerners who have not only turned it into a habit but have made it something that can be covered by health insurance. (And besides one could argue that genital cutting of girls should be okay since its a tribal tradition.)

But when you get down to it you might be able to make an argument of medical benefit and you might be able to justify it religiously. However vanity has no place in this.

Amy Jo Jones of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, made the decision to have her two sons circumcised and it "wasn't about vanity."

Sounds noble right? Amy made the choice to have it done and didn't do it for vanity. So you're probably thinking its about medical benefits or religious right or some other justifiable reason aren't you? No. Pay attention because this one is a bit tricky.

"The deciding factor for us was I wanted my son to be like his father. I didn't want him grow up and feel his body was different. It's not about how it looks or doesn't look. I knew there were some medical advantages, although it's not considered medically necessary. The deciding factor was for him feeling comfortable with body and like that of his dad."

So its not about their looks but rather she wanted then to look like their father (well she says "be like his father" but come on). She wants them to be comfortable with their bodies but instead of teaching that there is nothing wrong with foreskin as they grew up and teaching him proper genital hygiene, you know actually showing them how to be comfortable with their bodies, she decided to have it removed. What kind of lesson is that? Can you imagine a parent, in an effort to teach their daughter there is nothing wrong with having really small breasts, getting their daughter breast implants so that she will feel comfortable about herself?

But anyway. While I personally think circumcision should only be done when the guy can choose it for himself or if its a medical necessity I'm not so sure about making it flat out illegal.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Its an article about Kafue Boys Secondary School where some of its pupils registered to be circumcised at Kafue Rural Health Centre without consent from school authorities.

According to Catherine Mutale, headmistriss of the school, posters promoting the process were found on school grounds. The posters were removed however some of the boys at the school had already been booked and others had even had the procedure done already.

After the removal of their foreskins some of the boys have had trouble sitting and walking and some have also missed classes. Mutale has also been concerned about whether or not the boys are practicing proper care in keeping the wounds clean.

There are a few things that bother me about this.

1. The end run around shool and parental consent - From way the health center reacted to Mutale's inquiry it seems like the center went out of their way to avoid getting permission from the boys' parents or the school. You would think that if the process is so helpful they would not mind running it past parents and school authorities.

2. With a title like "Boys see circumcision as a licence for unprotected sex" [sic] one could be led to think that this was about boys concluding amongst themselves. But when one reads the article its pretty clear that this is about a health center trying to influence boys into getting circumcised and their willingness to even dodge parents and school authorities to get it down. Why not, "Boys led to believe circumcision as a license for unprotected sex"?

It would be one thing if these were adult men making the choice after being able to think on the issue but we are talking about boys who were feed selective information in order to make a biased decision.

Monday, November 15, 2010

(This is one of a few posts about things that happened over the course of my vacation.)

Let me tell a story while you think about the question in the title of this post. Oh I already have an answer I'm just curious what you think.

So this past Friday a woman picked me up, we ate at a restaurant of her recommendation (we each covered our own but there was no discussion of it, it just happened that way), went to a cafe/bar of her recommendation (I bought her a drink then she bought us a pitcher of Sangria), we went to a Krispie Kreme for donuts (we each covered our own with no question), we walked around looking for other haunts but came up empty (its was 1am at this time but places were still charging covers even though they were shutting down at 2am), we called it a night and she took me back home.

So I ask, "Was this a date?"

Points of clarification.1. This is the same woman I spoke about in this post last year (where we called a night early because of snow).

2. We actually had a tangent conversation about whether or not it was a date. I'll admit threw it out there as a way to test her reaction but in the end we both agreed it wasn't.

3. I discussed this with 2 close friends (both guys for clarification) and they fell the "It was a date." camp.

4. We've got tentative plans to get together again next year (remember she's in Washington DC and I'm in Eastern North Carolina, about a 6 hour trip).

If you have any other inquiries feel free to ask (but obviously no exacts like her name or anything like that). What I'm getting at here is what (in your mind) makes a date a date. Do certain acts need to be performed? Is there a time limit? Is it just a matter of the people involved calling it a date?

Alright people my 30th birthday is now come and passed (and much fun was had) so now its time to get back into the swing of things. I've looked at my Google Reader and I've decided that while I will try to look through as much of the backlog as possible I seriously doubt I will be able to read every single headline that has accumulated.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Today is Veteran's Day in the States. If you don't know its a day set aside to honor those who have served our country in its times of need. I'm on vacation but I want to take a moment to give a big tip of the Fro to all the folks out there who have served in our armed forces.

I have a lot of respect for people who do admirable things that I know I could never do. In this case we are talking about people who put themselves in a position where they may have to kill another person in order to protect their homeland. And not only that but also willing to give their very lives doing it. That's big.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Don't you just love it when people who (presumably) aren't part of a certain group still decide they are fit to speak on that certain group and will often at the same time go to war if someone does it to them? Yeah just as men do that to women there seems to be women who are more than willing to do that to men.

Otherwise, cisgendered males do not, cannot, and will not ever experience sexism.

I don't know about you folks but I get the feeling that Angel H. here doesn't understand men, and a large part of society, as well as they have already decided they do. This is why I tend to limit the company I keep when it comes this whole gender rights discussion thing.

That whole fat hatred thing?: Apparently when it happens to women its fat hatred and sexism but when it happens to men its only fat hated because despite what I've said here in the past it turns out all of those comments were strictly about my fat and nothing about my gender.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Oh in case you have been wondering this countdown you've been seeing is a countdown to today which is my 30th birthday. Hopefully if all has gone well (I typed this up and scheduled it a few days ago) I am in the Washington DC area wildin the fuck out and turning 30 and shit.

While I'm still living in what amounts to hell I absolutely refused to turn 30 at home sitting in front of my pc either playing games, blogging, or surfing. If I have my way about it I should be out somewhere having some fun with some good close friends of mine. I'll see you folks when I get back!

Friday, November 5, 2010

So I'm reading an article by Jennifer Lawless at CNN today and I'm reminded of how some people tend to think that equality can only be measured in outcome and may not notice equality in opportunity.

Lawless goes into the number of seats that women candidates lost after Tuesday night's round of elections. And as far as the numbers are concerned she is on the money. However I think there might be something she is missing.

Despite the numbers of women candidates that lost that night I have to say that it seems to me that women candidates had stronger showings this time around than in the recent past. And most interesting of all despite the "Man up" nonsense (oh and you know I'll be getting to that later) most of these women seemed to not be riding the "vote for me because I'm a woman" ticket.

In the end I think that even though women may have lost seats I think its worth noting that women candidates seemed to have commanded a larger presence on the campaign trails this year. And I think that some serious progress worth noting considering how far women candidates have come.

Now I'm certainly not trying to say that this mitigates away the fact that there aren't that many woman in the seats of power. I'm saying that I think its a bit short sighted to say that there was no progress made.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

...that somewhere in here is some actual concern for men and that this post is not just more run of the mill feminist grandstanding. (And apparently misndry or sexism against men doesn't need a trigger warning.)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Imagine you have some sort of formula, remedy, or recipe that has been used in your part of the world centuries if not millenia. Some mixture that serves a purpose such as healing a wound, curing an infection, or soothing an itchy rash.

Now imagine of out of nowhere some big company that's younger than your grandparents sweeps in and claims they have a patent on said creation. That is precisely what the toothpaste maker Colgate is trying to do in its efforts to patent an herbal tooth cleaner that has been used in India for many, many, many years. And it looks like this has even gotten to the point where it has a name:

The patent, the Indian activists allege, is the latest act of "biopiracy" - whereby Western corporations plunder techniques, plants or genes used in the emerging world for centuries, for commercial profit.

Biopiracy. Sounds terrible doesn't it? That's because it is terrible.

As we have seen in the past mega corporations have shown time and time again that, despite what their commercials and slogans might say, they are only interested in making money and keeping their status. They have no problem putting things like customer satisfaction (and sometimes safety) on the back burner to make a few dollars more.

We are talking about people having their very traditions and history being taken out from under them. This is something that simply cannot be allowed to happen.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Remember a few nights ago when I was expressing my displeasure over the powers that be in my area deciding that Trick or Treating should not be done on Sunday? Well it looks like some folks don't mind being straight up with their ignorance.

Bishop Rosie O'Neal with Koinonia Christian Center Church says, "I have a problem. You know i remember being a little kid and walking out and just wanting that bag of candy, but as i got older i began to understand the focus of evil and darkness and All Hallow's Eve and i just felt like as a believer i don't want to do that."

Yeah.

Evil and Darkness eh? Let's take a look.

While the Halloween we know now is a secular excuse to beg for candy, play pranks, wear costumes, and get wasted its actually based on oldertraditions, some of which predate Christianity.

Part of its origins are from Pagan/Celtic practices of celebrating and praying for a good harvest. Don't Christians celebrate, pray for, and give thanks for the food they are about to receive?

Part of its origins are from the All Saints Day practice of aiding the souls of the departed in crossing to the other side. Don't Christians do something like that?

Part of its origins are from the Gaelic harvest festival known as Samhain. Namely hollowing out turnips and carving faces into them to ward off evil spirits. Sounds a lot like a cross doesn't it.

A book that's tentatively titled, "Man Down: Proof Beyond A Reasonable Doubt That Women Are Better Cops, Drivers, Gamblers, Spies, World Leaders, Beer Tasters, Hedge Fund Managers, and Just About Everything Else." is just fine since it only "uplifts" women at the expense of putting men down right? I get the feeling I would not like the writer of this book, Dan Abrams, very much.

I shouldn't have to say that swapping the genders in that book would create that outrage thing that people are known to do when particular groups are insulted but more than likely there is someone out there that would try to justify this somehow some way.

Reckon that some people just can't bear to let go of that old "battle of the sexes" nonsense whether for money, spite, etc.

But to me the funniest part is this:

Of course. The book will discuss some of those areas. This is not an effort to beat up on us guys but it may serve as a wake up call for some.

So this book is not meant to beat up on guys but rather a wake up call but he's thinking about coming out the gate by telling us that women really are better than men? I guess the days of saying the women are just as capable at those jobs as men are gone. Nah they're actually better.

Its been a while since I did one of these and I'm a bit surprised that I've not done this already so here goes.

Chances are if you work at a company involving computers passwords are going to be a daily part of your life. And if you have passwords more than likely they will expire. As a person who spends a great deal of time resetting and unlocking password on many a Monday morning let me tell you this can get very aggravating. (Apparently there is a big reset button somewhere that gets pressed every weekend and makes people forget their passwords. So help me if I find the one hitting that button...) But I think there is one part of the password deal that trips people up really bad, remembering passwords.

Now I'm not talking about users remembering their passwords. No I'm talking about systems that remember passwords so when it comes time to change passwords you can't reuse certain things because the system recalls what you've used before going back so far. So how do we get around that? What I like to call a Circle of Passwords. Allow me to explain.

Let's say you have some sort of program or software that remembers your last few passwords and even what characters (by characters I mean letters A-Z and numbers 0-9) were in what place in your password. When it comes time for you to change it you try to use a character in the same place as before and the system recognizes this and tells you you can't do that. Just what are you to do? Set up a series of passwords that conform to the rules of the software at hand and then just keep them up in a constant rotation so you will always have an available password that you know will work so you don't waste precious work time calling for support. Here is an example.

For instance let's say we have a program that remembers the last 8 passwords you used in addition to the one you are currently using and said password expires every 60 days. Your circle of passwords will need to be x+2 where x is the number of passwords the program in question remembers. So here we need 8+2=10 passwords.

So imagine you're on the first password of those 10 (like you're a new user). You would start with that first password and every 60 days you would go on to the next one. Once you get to the 60th day of your 8th password you're gonna do something a bit different. You will still change to the 9th password but instead of going about your day and waiting for day 60 again you immediately change to your 10th password and then immediately change back to your first. I'm sure you're wondering why all the changing. Here's why.

As I said this program remembers the last 8 passwords you did and the one you're on now making it 9 passwords in all. When you get to the end of your 60 days on the 8th one you may want to go right back to the 1st one again but you can't because:

Password 1

Password 2

Password 3

Password 4

Password 5

Password 6

Password 7

Password 8 - If you try to go back to the 1st one the system will remind you that it still remembers the 1st one. So the goal is to make the system forget that 1st one so you can go back to it. Instead change it to your 9th one.

Password 9 - Now from here you may want to go back to that 1st one but you still can't because the system still remembers it plus the one you're on now. Instead change it to your 10th one.

Password 10 - Now from here you can go back to the 1st one because even with that ability to recall your last 8 passwords and the one you're on now the system can only recall password 2-10, meaning that it has finally forgotten the first one.

And when you change it back to the first one the system will only recall passwords 3-10 and the 1st, leaving the 2nd one open. The goal here is to have never-ending Circle of Passwords where every time you change your password the next one you will use is freed up to use.

It can be a bit tricky I know. Actually very tricky, I have a system at my job that not only recalls your last 8 passwords but also when you try to change your password it will check the characters in the positions of your new password to make sure you didn't have character in that position in one of your last 8 passwords. So to use the example above if I had the letter "a" in the second position of my 2nd password when it comes time to change it will actually check the second position of the last 8 passwords to make sure I didn't use the letter "a". But if you can manage to make a circle of x + 2 passwords (where x is the number of passwords the system will check back on) you will be in prime shape.

Licensing

About Me

Who am I you ask? The name's Danny and I'm just a pro-MRA guy that's trying to build his own masculinity and his own place in this world and I'm sharing my experiences in hopes that other people will realize that there is no one "right" way to be a man or to be masculine. Oh but I also enjoy music, anime, video games, technology in general, and lots of other things too so they will be coming along for the ride. If you need to get up with me just drop a line at dannybois-dot-corner-at-gmail.com.