It never fails to astound me, in a good way, when one of our ILIASM siblings - who have been undecided, or going to stick it out based on how they see the situation at this moment in time - suddenly have an event that tips them over. Even a relatively innocuos event invariably.

Here, you had an event where he called you a ******* **** in front of some dude you'd never met and will likely never see again. But, it was the "right" moment.

For me, it was a "wrong" (or maybe right) word in an otherwise unremarkable conversation back in October 2009. Out I went. It was the "right" time.

honey, i am SO happy to hear you are moving out. and he ain't a man. no true man would say that to a woman, much less to his wife. be fair to YOU in this process. let your rage propel you through the harder steps. keep us updated. warm hugs for you.

Ha! The Beat-My-Hairy-Ape-Chest-Because-I've-Been-Summarily-Dismissed ******* never did "reclaim" his master bedroom. Surprised? Don't be. What kind of a man calls his wife a ******* ****? I don't have to answer for you, I'm sure BUT if anyone wants to offer suggestions as to what kind of a man does that, feel free.

I have read many of your stories and I'm so proud of you for leaving. Please stay away, your dreadful marriage is over, move on and be happy. I look forward to the day when you post the story about how leaving was the best decision you ever made!

Yeah, he hit my "third rail" (not sure what that means mvcmvc but I like the expression) when that came out of his mouth.

All I could feel was hatred and all I could see was the monster he is.

It's taken me a long time to get here; let me tell you exactly what happened.

I hired a painter to repair and paint the dining room ceiling (there's been a slow leak from the bathroom above that H FINALLY got around to fixing a few months back.) The painter was asking me if I wanted the light fixture pulled; he could paint around it if I wanted or pull it and paint beneath it.

I was discussing this with him.

H, in the next room (the front room) is snarling at me that I didn't close the front door all the way. It was closed; it just wasn't all-the-way snugly closed because I was going in and out putting wreaths on the front of the house.

Heh, FoP. I'm not a friend of abuse. I have got out the big scissors twice, decisively, and cut the ties. Practically in the WTF moment, both times. The first time to save myself from life-threatening sadness, the second time to get away from unbearable pain. Now, the third time, I find I live with a bird with clipped wings. There's one thing she cannot give, because she does not know it, does not know how, and doesn't miss it because she doesn't know it. Just like I never miss won ton soup because I never ate it in my life ... it is a regret, it is not abuse.

Circumstances vary, and each relationship is different, just like each and every one of us is unique. Even somebody who is bogged down in a dysfunctional relationship that they feel they cannot free themselves from may yet clearly see the abuse in the relationship of someone else, they may even be more qualified, because they know what's going on, they can empathize, and they can give advice with clarity.

Don't forget to try the chili.................it's amazing. Enjoy your new life and you will find a man that appreciates what you have to offer................and C is a huge place. Lots of men and good eating as well.

Douche nozzle! Love it! Though he probably would never get that close to her LOL.

Change the locks on the doors to that Cincinnati home and file the papers ASAP. Emptying the bank accounts should also be seriously considered. Why not sell his house while you are at it? And if you think there is any possibility that he may have filed fraudulent business tax returns or bank reports on a business loan, I think it is your moral obligation to report these things, with plenty of supporting documentation!

I mean, if he thinks you are a ******* ****, you shouldn't disappoint him!

OK, maybe some of that would be shooting yourself in the foot. But it sure must be fun to think about!

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