PaC Man & Wife: Toasts and Roasts

(This has to be one of my favorite recaps. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did, both in the moment and re-living it later.)

More than once during cocktail hour, my sister and his brother professed they were in need of some liquid courage before their honor attendant speeches. The last time my sister was in a wedding, she was hanging out in my mother’s belly. After a twenty-six year drought, she really jumped into the deep end!

Following tradition and implementing the Band-Aid approach, my sister went first, winging her short and sweet toast. I could tell she was nervous, but she did a great job. After her speech ended, there was an expectant lull as all eyes shifted to Mr. PaC’s brother. But he wasn’t budging. Was he going to chicken out?

After an anxious wait, Mr. PaC’s brother knocked it out of the park with his roast, I mean speech. He performed like a stand-up comedian, pausing for dramatic effect and layering somber with silly. One moment we were clutching our sides with laughter, the next valiantly trying to hold back tears. Here’s the video if you’d like to watch; it picks up about a minute into his speech. Everyone else who can’t watch video at work (because isn’t that where we all read Weddingbee?), continue reading for the contents of the speech.

I did a little research on best man speeches and found one I’d like to share. I think it’s really appropriate…it says the best man’s speech should take no longer than the time it takes the groom to make love.

Dramatic pause, then he sits down while the guests howl with laughter. Mr. PaC and I exchange nervous looks.

Both of us thinking, “Oh, we are so going to get you for that.”

He stood back up. As the laughter died down, he resumed his speech.

(and this is where the video picks up)

”¦ however, I do believe Brian was trying to help me at the same time. Trying to work me through my phobia of being at the altar. My mother is wondering right now how that is working out. Nicolette—you look beautiful today. (In the background, a cousin quips, “She’s married!”)

For those of you that don’t know Nic, let me describe her for you. She’s organized, motivated, organized, intelligent, organized, caring, organized, passionate…and organized. Did you get that??

Shortly after Brian asked me to be his best man and I accepted, Nicolette sent me an email: “Your Responsibilities.” She sent me an article that was about the responsibilities of the bride and of the responsibilities for the best man to the bride.

Shaking my finger at him because I knew what was coming.

The article came from a pristine copy of a 1941 Bride’s Magazine that my grandfather gave Nicolette when she and Brian got engaged. I’m going to read you a portion of the article, but before I do, let me remind you this is an actual article.

“The bride has all the responsibilities. The invitations. The parties. The reception. The bill.” Gary (my dad), where are you?? The bill. “You should pose gracefully for pictures, meet gracefully your in-laws, be graceful at parties in your honor. You have certain undeniable responsibilities.” Key word is gracefully. “The bride must choose a best man who can cope with it all…and with her. Who will gather up the broken glasses after the bride’s toast at the bachelor dinner and send them to the bride. Who will take her to lunch before the ceremony and bolster her with brandy. Who will get you [the groom] to the church upright and supply anything from cigarettes to morphine, if necessary.” I think it worked out well. It’s amazing how the times really haven’t changed that much since 1941.

The excerpt from the magazine, second paragraph

It’s kind of funny if you think of my title—“best man”—when truly the best man is sitting right over there with a grin on his face from ear to ear sitting next to his beautiful bride. Brian is the best man today. Today is his day, Nicolette’s day. Brian, enjoy today; you’re the best man today. And tomorrow…you’re second best next to me.

So, I’ve known Brian for a few years. We had a good childhood. We were fortunate and grew up skiing and sailing. Brian was into karate and played trumpet in the marching band. We were typical brothers. I teased and harassed him and somehow he’s the one that got in trouble. We loved each other and tolerated each other at the same time. I think we truly became close…I know we truly became close when I went away to college. As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow stronger. Either that or he was so happy I was gone.

Brian’s parents experiencing a proud moment for both of their sons.

I respect Brian for the man he is today. He’s willing to take chances. He’s innovative, fearless, creative, extremely handy, talented in many arenas. He’s the best…he’s…he’s the best…? Brian, I’m sorry. What’s this say? I can’t read your handwriting.

Brian has been successful in contracting, telemarketing, and real estate. Just this week he started a new job in property management where he manages over 80 properties. There are two times that stick out in my mind where Brian has really impressed me. Once by his talent and the second by his maturity. The first time was when my mother bought her condo at the beach. Brian and his friend Joe completely gutted and remodeled the entire condo. This was the first time I really saw my brother’s handiwork and realized how talented my brother was. The time that I have to say I was most proud of you, and it truly showed your maturity, was fairly recent.

I’m not going to into too much detail of the facts. It was quite an emotional night for all of us. This past Thanksgiving our grandfather died in our arms. You were calm, cool and collected. That night was a difficult night for all of us. But the way you handled yourself made us all feel calm and at peace. I thank you and am proud of you.

Wiping away tears of laughter and sadness

Along came Nicolette. Brian and Nicolette started dating five years ago. Over the years, I’ve seen Brian transform into the man he is today. Nicolette, you played a major role in that transformation. Your vibrant personality and strength of character have been a positive influence on Brian.

Recently, I realized how much you’ve been an effect on Brian when I was viewing your photos of your trip to Mexico. I stumbled on a photo Nicolette took of Brian. He was sitting there with a huge smile on his face and he actually looked happy…as he sat in a heart-shaped tub taking a bubble bath with a glass of champagne.* Brian, you’re truly a changed man forever. I really wanted to make a poster of that for today. I gave it to Scott and I think he’s working on it.

* Mr. PaC would like me to add that said photo exists—he was not in a heart-shaped tub nor was he drinking champagne. It just makes for a funnier story!

Today is the day of joy and happiness for all. But it’s not just a day. It’s a very special beginning of a new life for two extraordinary people. Brian and Nicolette make an amazing couple.