55

68

57.9

61.0

59.4

.474

.494

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

They're not out of this! They can totally win this. (This = American League West third place)

2

64

58

62.8

60.2

60.6

.507

.487

1.6%

9.5%

11.2%

0.5%

2.9%

Joe Thatcher threw five pitches in his team's 16-inning win. In accordance with the new clubhouse food distribution policy, Joe Thatcher is entitled to a caraway seed.

3

76

48

76.9

77.3

74.5

.614

.595

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.1%

Andrelton Simmons is an anagram for "unbelievable defense." Related: I don't know what an anagram is.

4

67

56

66.0

63.4

63.8

.529

.549

4.5%

19.0%

23.4%

4.6%

-10.2%

Chris Davis has 45 home runs in fewer than 450 at bats this year. He had 44 home runs in his first 1,000 at bats.

5

73

53

73.0

72.4

71.4

.575

.595

53.7%

36.8%

90.5%

-2.4%

-3.1%

A West coast trip to multiple National League ballparks? Get ready for multiple games at first base for David Ortiz!

6

49

74

53.4

53.6

53.3

.426

.445

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Alexei Ramirez has three home runs since he started batting third after the Alex Rios trade earlier this month, giving him four home runs on the year.

7

53

70

56.0

59.1

59.8

.463

.443

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Just an idea for the baseball team, and I am not an expert at baseball, but: more runs, perhaps?

8

70

54

71.9

71.7

71.9

.576

.556

26.4%

67.7%

94.1%

0.7%

1.1%

They're sneaking up in the NL Central standings behind the unsuspecting Pirates and Cardinals through the art of guerrilla warfare. At least that's why I think they smeared their faces with chili.

9

66

58

65.1

64.1

65.0

.525

.545

1.0%

19.0%

20.1%

-5.3%

2.0%

There's a three-way lead for home runs on the team: Jason Kipnis, Ryan Raburn and a guy who they just released.

10

58

67

60.8

61.0

58.7

.477

.457

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.1%

-0.1%

They have two guys named Charlie. How can you not love this team.

11

73

51

78.1

84.0

83.0

.641

.659

98.9%

0.8%

99.7%

0.7%

0.3%

It's pretty clear from this past weekend that Miguel Cabrera is from another planet. But just imagine a planet with nothing but Miguel Cabreras. You could go there and lead the league in stolen bases every year.

12

41

82

43.8

38.6

41.0

.334

.352

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Brett Oberholtzer is officially the most metal name on the Astros. Try saying his name without picturing yourself at a Dokken concert.

13

64

59

64.4

57.8

58.9

.498

.518

0.1%

4.0%

4.1%

-2.0%

-2.8%

13 of Eric Hosmer's 14 home runs this year have traveled at least 400 feet, or in Royal units of measurement, 3.23 layman's lakes.

14

72

51

67.5

70.0

68.4

.565

.545

98.4%

0.8%

99.1%

-0.3%

0.5%

They are running out of time to fire Don Mattingly, in my opinion.

15

47

75

48.7

44.5

45.2

.380

.361

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Justin Ruggiano, the guy who had an 0-for-42 slump, had back-to-back three-hit games, including one game in which he did not start.

16

54

70

55.9

58.4

59.3

.459

.439

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Four of Khris Davis' home runs were hit on days that Chris Davis also hit home runs.

17

54

68

53.7

56.0

55.7

.450

.469

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Joe Mauer could have a 50-game hitting streak by now and I'm not sure anyone would notice.

18

64

59

60.7

54.6

56.0

.478

.498

0.4%

5.0%

5.4%

1.1%

3.1%

It takes a very specific skill for a baseball player like Alex Rodriguez to go within his rights to appeal a baseball suspension and have fellow union members not like him for it.

19

56

66

57.7

56.8

56.1

.464

.444

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-0.0%

-0.2%

Thanks again to A-Rod for deflecting attention away from the Mets existing as a ballclub at this moment.

20

70

53

69.1

68.2

65.7

.555

.574

35.8%

42.9%

78.7%

4.5%

1.9%

Yoenis Cespedes hit 32 home runs in the Home Run Derby and has 39 extra-base hits in the regular season. (Hat tip to Jon Bernhardt.)

21

54

69

50.1

49.7

51.8

.418

.398

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Can Ryne Sandberg turn this team around? That is to say, can Ryne Sandberg play right field and is the year 1985?

22

72

51

66.5

68.3

69.7

.562

.542

40.2%

57.3%

97.5%

-1.1%

-1.6%

Jeff Locke's home ERA: 4.15. His road ERA: 1.81.

23

56

68

53.6

54.8

55.0

.442

.423

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

0.0%

Jedd Gyorko saw five pitches in four plate appearances. He really needs to wyork the count.

24

57

66

52.4

56.4

56.1

.451

.471

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Ah yes, the ol' "win the series against Texas except the game Felix Hernandez got shelled" party trick. Always a crowd pleaser.

25

55

68

54.2

57.8

58.4

.458

.438

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-0.0%

The Giants scored 25 total runs in their three-game series against the Marlins and 24 total runs in their nine games prior to that.

26

71

52

76.5

73.3

71.9

.595

.575

33.4%

63.4%

96.8%

0.9%

-0.5%

Jake Westbrook doesn't always strike people out. But when he does ... haha just kidding he never does.