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My publisher just made a big mistake. They e-mailed me a list of the
places they’re thinking of sending me on my 2007 US book tour,
and I said, “How about I put this on my web site and ask what
people think?” And my publicist, Martin—I think he must be
new; it’s the only explanation—said, “Good idea.”

What Martin fails to realize is that I have just cleverly arranged
for everyone who will be upset that I’m not coming to their town
to be angry at him instead of me.

What Martin
should have done is what all my previous publicists did:
present the schedule only when it’s nailed down. That way I’m left
helplessly trying to explain to irate, neglected fans why I’m
visiting four cities on the west coast but none between L.A. and
New York.

Instead, what we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a tentative
schedule. And the publisher wants to know what you think.
So go ahead! And remember: there’s no reason they couldn’t send me
to every town in America, if they cared enough!

Okay, that’s not true. I was exaggerating for comic effect. The
number of cities is probably fixed, due to financial
reasons and the fact that I’m not that famous. But if you’ve
got a good reason why they should send me to one place and not another,
post in the comments here and Martin will read it.

Here’s the list:

Boston

Chicago

Ann Arbor

Dallas

Austin

Denver/Boulder

San Francisco

Either Madison or Los Angeles

It is actually very cool for a publisher to do this. In fact, I’ve
never heard of one asking fans where they’d like an author to visit
before.

Update: Whoa! That’s a lot of comments. I
found out that Martin
is on vacation this week, so I guess he’ll come back to a nice surprise.
Wait, I mean, “violent argument.” That’s it.

See Also

This is where site members post comments. If you're not a member, you can join here. There are all kinds of benefits, including moral superiority!

Danni Brennand (#357)

Location: EnglandQuote: "Eagerly awaiting the European Tour."Posted: 3106 days ago

That's all very nice and good, but when are you going to tour Europe? Who do I have to hassle so I can get to meet you, and sign my very battered copy of Jennifer Government?

Richard Giles (#2114)

Location: PerthPosted: 3106 days ago

Perth! ;P

Christopher Warren (#2637)

Location: Lakeville, MNQuote: ""Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?" - Henry Ward Beecher"Posted: 3106 days ago

I'd love to see you come through Minneapolis/St. Paul - we're in the same region as Ann Arbor, Madison, and Chicago, have significantly more people than Ann Arbor or Madison, and we're two of the most literate cities in the country (2nd and 9th, respectively), a statement I can back up with science! www.ccsu.edu/amlc/ And you wouldn't want to tangle with science on something like this, would you?

Tommy Conant (#443)

Argh! Why do publicists and concert planners always skip Florida? It is not our fault that we jut out into the ocean and are not surrounded by land mass like everyone else. You should come to orlando; it is after all the vacation capital of the world and other Barry fans can plan around that.

Flynn (#520)

Location: Chicago, IL USAQuote: "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."Posted: 3106 days ago

Karan (#1376)

C'mon Max, some home-country love eh? =) I'd buy your book if any book store in the damn city had them in stock.

Jason (#1193)

Location: Indianapolis, INQuote: "The bulwark of the suggestion box has failed."Posted: 3106 days ago

Huzzah for Chicago! If/When you are in Chicago, I will be driving up from Indianapolis for you.

So dont' you dare let them take chicago off the list, or retribution will be meted out with swiftness ... ON MY BLOG!!!!

heh

Jeff (#787)

Location: Cleveland, OHQuote: "Give a man a match and he'll stay warm for the rest of the day; Set a man on fire and he'll stay warm for the rest of his life."Posted: 3106 days ago

Cleveland, Ohio! If for no other reason than no popular authors seem to come here. You would be like a god among mortals. People would flock to your signing just to catch a glimps of your glory. It would be the biggest thing since . . . well, I can't think of anything bigger then having Max Barry in town! (And you could crash at my place for free!)

Konrad Riecke (#2040)

Location: Gaithersburg, MDPosted: 3106 days ago

Washington, DC! Lots of bookstores and you definitely need another city on the East Coast.

Katrina (#847)

Location: SF, CAQuote: "Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." -- Mae West"Posted: 3106 days ago

San Francisco! :D Easier than Mountain View.

But no New York and two Texas cities? o.O Little weird there.

FoxFire (#648)

Location: FLQuote: "It's a forest of fingers!"Posted: 3106 days ago

Florida would be great! Either Orlando, like someone mentioned above, or you could come to the University of Florida in Gainesville, which is where I'm in school :)

jojo (#2638)

Location: brewster, nyPosted: 3106 days ago

new york! because... well, it's new york!!! ;)

Xpovos (#958)

Location: Washington D.C.Quote: "Time not important, only life important"Posted: 3106 days ago

I'll second D.C., just remind your publicist that D.C. is the third largest media city market in the country. Though with the geography around here, you'll likely end up doing someting in Northern Virgina. Probably Tyson's Corner. Still, Alton Brown did that, and they sold out every copy of his book at 5 surrounding Borders for autographs.

def. DC because you go to "DC" and that encompasses DC/VA/MD = a lot of folks!maybe even a couple groupie emo chicks.

Zach (#897)

Location: Boston, MA, USAPosted: 3106 days ago

Come to Boston. Not only isit where I live, but it is also hope to some real nice indie book stores. It would be grea to hav you come to one of them. Supprt the litte guy and be in the city that firt stuck it to England.

Al (#2419)

Location: TorontoQuote: "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."Posted: 3106 days ago

No Canadian stops?

Erik Yeargan (#1173)

Posted: 3106 days ago

MONTREALSo near (geographically)yet so far (culturally).

If you've never been, well, we have a saying: "attache ta tuque!"meaning, "hold on to your hat!"

Of course, this is assuming that you enjoy great food and joie de vivre.

If not, never mind....

Chris (#2639)

Location: Ann ArborPosted: 3106 days ago

Ann Arbor! Woo!

From Wikipedia:"Among U.S. cities, Ann Arbor ranks first in the number of booksellers and books sold per capita."

Barry Mitchell (#1001)

So Martin's got Chicago and possibly Madison, which are both cool places (Madison, especially), and I might be able to make it to one if it's on a weekend. But you know where is better? Milwaukee!

I know that last time you were in the area at my local Harry Schwartz book shop, and I happened to be out of town. But my invitation to take you to a great brew pub in Milwaukee is still open! AND - I'll guarantee that I'll buy at least three of your books if you make it here. That's gotta be at least $3 in royalties for you, right? ;) 3 bucks and a beer on me - how can you beat that? If Martin comes along, I'll buy him a beer, too!

HAL 9000 (#271)

Location: BostonQuote: "Let them hate me, so long as they fear me."Posted: 3106 days ago

Good! You missed Boston last time--you've got to hit New England =).

Wm. Gary Webb (#734)

Location: Utah, U.S.A.Quote: ""Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it." -Abraham Lincoln"Posted: 3106 days ago

Doujin (#1250)

It would be nice if you could stop by in Peoria for a couple of hours (it's about two hours south of Chicago). I've only read Company (I'm broke, can't afford to buy the others), but from that one book I fell in love.

Austin (#814)

Quote: "You might be stretching."Posted: 3106 days ago

Hey, I LIVE IN DENVER/BOULDER!

So I think that's a really good idea.

Doujin (#1250)

isserley (#1320)

Location: Madrid, SpainQuote: "I am an elegance bigot. If Im going to sit in front of this thing for hours a day, I want to feel the intelligence that went into my OS. I want to sense that an English major lost sleep over the wording of the menus. - David Pogue, 06/1998"Posted: 3106 days ago

and what about Madrid, Spain?

I guess you should really consider a european tour rather sooner than later. You, being member of the commonwealth (more or less ;) should have no problem getting the british council , http://www.britishcouncil.org/, to host you in hundreds of cities across europe. Besides being able to see nicer parts of Europe than Bedford, you can even dress-up your "sales-promo book tour" as "educational". How cool is that?

SilverCloud (#2038)

Los Angeles is the closest to me,a mere 275 miles RTor 2-6 hours one way travel time, we have traffic...How can anyone compare LA to Madison? Your last trip to Hollywood (same as LA)was successful..

Djoules (#1553)

Location: Paris, FranceQuote: "yes... maybe."Posted: 3106 days ago

If the idea comes to you to come to Paris (France), i'd be really glad to be your guide after the signing books stuff.

(i'm telling that because i plan to go to Australia in a few months, if, once there, i may invite you to a have a beer i'd be really honored :)

Elisha (#1577)

Location: OntarioQuote: "I am on the next page, the next book."Posted: 3106 days ago

I second Perth.

That is Perth Ontario Canada.Please and Thank you.

I deserve it.I've read Jennifer Government, Company, and I'm a few pages away from finishing Syrup.I sort of idolize you.

Jaime (#180)

Location: PhiladelphiaQuote: "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"Posted: 3106 days ago

I think another, more southern East Coast visit would be prudent. Philadelphia would cover New York and D.C. fans, but in the end I would settle for D.C. As important as New York is, you did visit there earlier this year on your last tour. I'm excited, Max. Real excited.

Emily (#609)

Location: New YorkQuote: "When in doubt, fuck it. When not in doubt, get in doubt!"Posted: 3106 days ago

Please please please come back to New York! I'll actually BE there this time!

JesseLawrence (#1114)

Location: MinneapolisQuote: "Madness is to think too many things in succession too fast; or of one thing exclusively."Posted: 3106 days ago

I too would like to see you come to Minneapolis

Hobbie (#1359)

Location: Cornwall, EnglandQuote: "There was a little man in his hair!"Posted: 3106 days ago

Need a European tour instead... Yanks get all the attention... *mumble grumble*

Shawna (#2485)

Location: San Francisco, CAQuote: ""She is a child of ferocious will. She would question the universe if it could answer." - Anon"Posted: 3106 days ago

You have to come to San Francisco! I'll come and I'll bring my friends. Do you know which bookstores or is it just cities that form the list now?

Keith Dotson (#1697)

Location: Detroit, MiQuote: ""I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable." --Demetri Martin"Posted: 3106 days ago

I will do ANYTHING...you hear me....ANYTHING...for you to come to Ann Arbor.

Lisa (#845)

Location: Honolulu, HIPosted: 3106 days ago

Show your publisher and bookstores your real statistics and generate your own demand.

Will Wheaton was able to convice a bookstore or something in Boston to have a reading.

http://eventful.com/performers/P0-001-000000567-9

Look at all those people who say they will do anything to get you to come to their city!

Patrick Bonfrisco (#1901)

Location: Anaheim, CAQuote: "Do it tomorrow. The early worm is for the bird."Posted: 3106 days ago

Orange County, CA. PLEASE!! OC* is so much better than LA. Less smog, less dirt, and less traffic. Stop by and sign my copy of Action Comics 838.

* - By the way, in OC, we call it "OC," NOT "The OC." No one calls it that. That would be like saying I'm from The LA or The NY.

Scar (#2642)

Location: TejasQuote: "I'm not perfect. I'm just better than you."Posted: 3106 days ago

First of all, Company was a textual masterpiece.

However, I am very disappointed in your Texas locations. Austin is a decent enough choice but Dallas sucks. I think Houston would be a much better choice and would even attract a lot of the money in The Woodlands.

Also, I went to Barnes to pick up Jennifer Government and it was $30 for a paperback. What the hell is that all about? Can't I just cut off a finger?

Volks (#1895)

Location: ArizonaQuote: ""If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle." -Rita Mae Brown"Posted: 3106 days ago

I agree with changing the location away from Dallas...but why have two in the same state? How about instead of Dallas, come to Arizona? Tucson would be best, but Phoenix would also be good. It's the 5th largest city in the country, after all, and it's close enough to Tucson and Flagstaff that you'd be in range of all three of the major universities in Arizona...actually you'd be close enough to the entire poulation of the state plus much of New Mexico and bits of Utah and California. Please!

Joseph (#1825)

Location: Jeffersonville, Indiana, USAQuote: "With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels."Posted: 3106 days ago

Niccalo (#2313)

Julie Totsch (#1341)

Location: Racine, WIQuote: ""The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost"Posted: 3105 days ago

Okay, if you make it to either Chicago or Madison -- I will be there! But, I'd really love it if you would come to Milwaukee.

And, what's the deal with nothing for Seattle, because you should appear again at Elliott Bay Bookstore in case you don't make it to Chicago or Madison. They took good care of my book order!

James W. G. Ford (#1437)

Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, CanadaQuote: "Never allow yourself to be limited by tradition. If we all did that, we'd still live in caves."Posted: 3105 days ago

Please come to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. It's a city of 250,000 people and I'm willing to bet they're all big Max Barry fans. I know of at least 6 people who would come to your book signing, and I hardly know anyone. Anyway, our big, kick-ass bookstore is McNally Robinson. Please come, or justify why you're not coming.

Thanks,

Jae Fordwww.JaeFord.com

Justin (#2009)

Albany, NY! They have a <a href=http://www.albany.edu/writers-inst/vws.html>Visiting Writers Series</a> where I got to see Chuck P. at UAlbany. Plus, Albany is roughly equidistance from NYC, Boston, and Montreal, so you could sorta hit 3 huge markets at once!

PS I hope these comments allow html...

Ivan (#2404)

Location: ArizonaQuote: "Huh?"Posted: 3105 days ago

Come to Phoenix and I'll buy you a beer!We are a very populated city and the fastest growing in the entire US! Capitalize on the new market.

Justin (#2009)

Ethan Miller (#2048)

Location: MarylandQuote: ""If you will, it is no fairytale""Posted: 3105 days ago

I belive I am the fifth person to say: Washington, DC

meet some high profile senetors!See some dying fans!Sell books!Visit the nation's Capital!

Richard (#2051)

Location: Boulder, COQuote: "...I may not like you, but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights!"Posted: 3105 days ago

Okay, good to see things on the southern plains, but do you really need to go to two cities in Texas? Nooooo...you want to drop Austin and come to Norman, Oklahoma. It's a college town too, only for a better college! And that way I don't have to drive three hours to see you!

Mickey Finn (#2595)

Location: Houston, TX, USAPosted: 3105 days ago

Austin, Good. Dallas, Good. Houston, Better ;) You did Austin last time, make them drive to Houston for a change. ;)

Jak (#2464)

Quote: "The Straight-Jacket makes it hard to type."Posted: 3105 days ago

Alright I have the perfect place: Las Vegas, NVFirst off, who doesn't want to come to Vegas, it could be a mini vacation on your tour.Second, its between LA and NY.Third, we are a big city, the metropolotin area is now over 2 million.

So, yah come to vegas.

Heidi (#2401)

Location: CaliforniaPosted: 3105 days ago

Definitely keep San Francisco on the list!

FerretWithASpork (#2218)

Before or after hitting up Boston you MUST come up to Albany! Just because.... is that a good enough reason? No... Well.... Uhh.... A comes before B and Albany would even out the fact that Bostons first and you need an A to come first!

Is that a good reason? How about because I said so? Well any way you GOTTA Come to Albany!

Jenni Moody (#1400)

Location: Dearborn, MichiganPosted: 3105 days ago

AH! Ann Arbor! You must keep Ann Arbor on your list, because all of us crazy Michiganders would love to have you sign here :) I don't know where you'd be, but if it's at the big Borders, it's a very very nice store.

Thom McGuire (#2571)

Location: Grand Rapids, MIPosted: 3105 days ago

Chicago works fine for me and the entire western half of MI

Maureen Ryan (#2265)

Location: East Cleveland, OHQuote: "Truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination"Posted: 3105 days ago

Okay, not a single Ohio city? I mean, I'm in Cleveland, so I can "accept" Ann Arbor, but what about my brethern Buckeyes? You do realize that Michigan has the Michigan Militia, a roving band of crazy rednecks with automatic assault weapons?

I'm sure that the reason they suggested Ann Arbor is because it is the home of Borders books corporate office. But, they have a very bad reputation in that they are union busters. Of course, they may be the inspiration for another of your books.

If you come to Ohio, can you come to a JoBeth Booksellers? They're an independent bookstore chain with huge, pretty stores and nice people. We have one in the Cleveland area!

Might I just mention again how many Ohio fans are just on his site alone?

Maureen

Dom Pody (#2475)

Location: Philadelphia, PA, USAQuote: "I may not agree with a word you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire"Posted: 3105 days ago

Rue (#2001)

Aaaww, Maxx, you won't come to New York again? Oh well, I guess we must all share. But the NEXT tour, you hear? (:

(Martin, too: btw, you sound like a very cool agent and there should be more like you. ^^)

Tony Quin (#1310)

Location: Plymouth -urghQuote: "Yoga is NAILS"Posted: 3105 days ago

Ah, yes. That list looks all wrong - none of the names have "Surrey" written after them. There must be some mistake.

Maureen Ryan (#2265)

Location: East Cleveland, OHQuote: "Truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination"Posted: 3105 days ago

Scar,Some of the big superstore bookstore chains have started to mark up paperbacks HUGE. I have no idea why, but I got burned on Indecision at Borders. After I peeled their sticker off of the book, I'd realized that I had been charged $7 over cover price. I got my $7 back after a very long time occupying 2 booksellers time. They told me that they were happier for me to return the book than for them to give me the $7.

Garbage like this is why I stopped working for them after nearly a decade and a half.

Maureen

Jay (#1892)

Location: New YorkPosted: 3105 days ago

Max,

How could you not visit New York? It's the capital of the world as far as I'm concerned and beyond that it's just a fun and cool city. You should defnitely stop by since you're going to be in Boston which is fairly close.

Kevin (#2321)

Narflz (#2594)

Location: St. LouisQuote: "WARNING: Extended Use Of Narflz May Cause Explosive Diarhea"Posted: 3105 days ago

JB, you are a god, i'd love to have max come to STL, but i don't see that happening

definately hit LA instead of Madison, and personally, i'd throw out Ann Arbor (Chicago is close enough) and go to New York, toss Austin and hit somewhere in Florida or hit atlanta, and get rid of San Francisco (since you oughta go to LA) and go somewhere in the NW, Seattle being the optimum candidate. At least with all that, you are spread pretty well over the US, not everyone will be happy tho

tho, if i had my way, i'd say throw the whole lot out and come over to St. Louis, hey, NYC is pretty close to Boston, so screw Boston and come here (i live in STL, you actually thought I wouldn't campaign for it? come on!)

javier (#1344)

Location: Long Beach, CA, USAPosted: 3105 days ago

i particularly like how anyone thinks orange county--anywhere in orange county--is better than los angeles. orange county is like a drunken frat boy. los angeles is that leggy brunette across the bar. so, yes, los angeles would be nice.

*it's a joke, btw

Jeff T. (#2591)

Location: USAQuote: ""WHO ARE YOU?!""Posted: 3105 days ago

Denver, Colorado. or anywhere, colorado. It's already on the list, so why not? also, it's right smack in the middle of the USA! woo!

John Reynolds (#2534)

Location: New York, USAPosted: 3105 days ago

New York or Buffalo, because right now I'm at school which is near Buffalo, but I could go home and just be near New York which I assume is a more likely possibility.

Jeffrey (#2286)

Location: Right hereQuote: "Mathematics is a powerful language. Just look at how mathematicians destroyed the housing market."Posted: 3105 days ago

Max, I'll buy you a beer in Boston!

Laura (#1040)

Posted: 3105 days ago

I would like to add St. Louis, MO to the list. Since it seems they're trying to stick you in major metropolitan areas. Yes, I know Texas is big, but you don't need Dallas and Austin. I used to live there, so I'd go with Dallas. But I definitely like St. Louis because it's smack dab in the middle of everything. More centralized for the people who want to travel just to see you!

Yoyodyn (#2480)

Location: TN, USAQuote: "Yay though I walk through the valley of Gates, I shall fear no Windows."Posted: 3105 days ago

How about Nashville? You know Nicole and Keith have a house here. I am sure they would open thier doors to a fellow countryman.

Nora Jean Stone (#1170)

Location: San Francisco, CA, USAQuote: "Do Wa Ditty, Life in the CITY, where the Women are Strong and the Men are Pretty... anon"Posted: 3105 days ago

\(*o*)/ YEAH San Francisco. I am going to tear my husband off of his computer, playing EQII, to come see you. He's the one who first read your books and came hollering to me "YOU GOT TO READ THIS GUY!". Now I can holler at him "YOU GOT TO MEET THIS GUY!" I'm so happy I can just dance.

Kalle (#1278)

Quote: "Sex is herital. If your parents never had it, chanses are you'll never have it either."Posted: 3105 days ago

I vote Ystad, Scania, Sweden. Hear that Martin? :D

Chyna Trople (#2393)

Location: Portland, ORQuote: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his job depends on not understanding it. --Upton Sinclair"Posted: 3105 days ago

I vote for Portland, OR. They have giant doughnuts and the biggest bookstore west of the Mississipi river (Powells)!!

Steve (#2499)

Question: is "Mall of America" really two words? And Doujin, get your local library to buy his other books so you can read them!

Jay, New York WILL be capital of Earth in the next 50 years or so. But that's in MY book. (Right. Not published yet.)

Max ... even though I'll be in Ann Arbor, I agree about Seattle. Anytime from September through May, they rely on anything, in addition to coffee, to get them through the drizzle.

Kommander Kyle (#2470)

Location: Covington, Louisiana, USQuote: ""Revenge is a dish best served cold...""Posted: 3105 days ago

you know, you should come to New Orleans. if you want me to get all fancy on why you should come, i'd say to help with the relief effort and that stuff. but really its just because it would be great to meet you (and maybe to have my copy of Jennifer Government signed). anyways, yeah; you should come down here.

Andrew (#1279)

Location: TexasPosted: 3105 days ago

Don't go to Austin. Go to San Antonio! It has a larger population than austin and is closer to mexico and other places. It can bring in a new audience.

Josh (#1878)

Location: San Antonio, TexasPosted: 3105 days ago

Andrew's post sums up what I would have said had he not said it. However, to change his wording a bit... I wouldn't mind if you went to Austin. I live in San Antonio, but make many trips to Dallas and Houston just to see people perform comedy or read their work. So, as long as you're in Texas, I'll be there.

Ian Chafee (#2437)

Location: Chicago, ILPosted: 3105 days ago

About time you're coming to Chicago! You can come over for beer and pizza. You haven't had pizza until you've had pizza in this city. Hot dogs too.

Keely (#1602)

Location: easy-peasy-24.livejournal.com of course!Quote: "I always wanted to see the lights of Broadway... but then you get there and they're really kind of annoying."Posted: 3105 days ago

I absolutely KNOW that you meant to put NYC on that list but just forgot. Seriously, you know what would be really, really hardcore? Come to BROOKLYN. Because we exist and kick major booty. But a lot of the Manhattan people kind of forget we're there.

Ryan (#2535)

Location: The government won't let me tell you, there are terroristsQuote: "Do I really have to ware the dress?"Posted: 3105 days ago

Jason Wallwork (#675)

America, America. Who cares? When are you coming to CANADA? Unlike America, most of us here can actually read - we don't just look at the covers. If do ever do a Canadian tour, consider Toronto or Ottawa. Either are close enough for me to get to and I'll bring you coffee. Really I will.

Jason Wallwork (#675)

What was I thinking? I'll bring you take out or buy you dinner - whatever you want, anything, as long as it's within $20.

lauren (#2635)

Location: texasQuote: "..."Posted: 3105 days ago

yay for dallas!

Caroline (#1667)

Location: www.freewebs.com/davidorthQuote: "Does the Walker Choose the Path, or the Path the Walker?"Posted: 3105 days ago

Why not Raleigh, North Carolina? It's big enough for an author to come, right? It's weird, stuff like this can be a hit and miss with Raleigh, NC. We can either get some really good stuff like John Edwards declairing that he would not be running for president or not. That may be a bad example, but the point is that it can be a big hit and miss here.

So I'd like to think that Raleigh, NC, is important enough for you to come and visit. I'd come, because I know you're a great guy. And I'm sure that a ton of others would want to come. Even if they have to come drive up from South Caroline or even from Virginia or somethin'. I dunno.

Eric (#1761)

Location: "The seat of Capitalist PowerPosted: 3105 days ago

Come to Syracuse, NY. not alot of famous people come here. But, Al Gore is comming to talk about "Global warming" this September. don't make me go to that, please. Come to Syracuse!, our Book stores could use someone like you to spice up book sales.

Shlaga (#2533)

Location: MinnesotaPosted: 3105 days ago

You should come to Minneapolis/St. Paul, you be my personal hero.

broad (#1759)

Location: astoria, nyPosted: 3105 days ago

yeah there's this tiny place, and i know it's small, but it's pretty cool. it's called NEW YORK? you might have heard of it....

Yubi Shines (#1664)

Location: CanadaQuote: "HOPE RIDES ALONE!"Posted: 3105 days ago

COME TO CANADA D:<

Specifically, Ontario, Toronto.

I NEED SOMEONE TO STALK.

Qaaolchoura (#226)

Location: KoreaQuote: "Treason never prospers, and what is the reason? If it does prosper then none dare to call it 'treason'"Posted: 3105 days ago

Dammit, suppose with only major cities this time there's no hope of getting you to come to Harford or Springfield, let alone to South Hadley (been meaning to bug the Odyssey, which is fairly good at getting famous and popular authors)

Ahh well, I may be able to convince my mother to take us out to Boston, if it's on the weekend and she has no other plans.

Or else maybe your next American tour will be erratic again.

Matthew Rushing (#757)

There is one place I am sure you haven't thought of but it is actually closer to you, Hawaii.I moved here from Mountain View,Ca, I missed meeting you by just a few months.You should take some kind of vacation or something while here, have you ever been to the Islands?I am sure your fan would agree that it would be a very good place to hold the final stop.Mahalo (Thank You) Matt

Raul Gonzalez (#2625)

Qaaolchoura (#226)

Location: KoreaQuote: "Treason never prospers, and what is the reason? If it does prosper then none dare to call it 'treason'"Posted: 3105 days ago

Eh, I would, if your government could get the paramilitaries under control.

One of the things I'd like to see (aside from some colonial cities fo course) are those ruins of the civilization in the Sierra Madres, definitely well off the "safe" list.

Hopefully by the time I'm traveling much on my own they will have though.

Lori (#2288)

Location: SeattleQuote: ""Never play ping-pong with mental patients that's all they do and they will kill you." Amy Hempel"Posted: 3105 days ago

Max.Portland or Seattle.Lot's of book stores up here.Plus I missed you the last time, but was lucky toget an autographed copy at Elliott Bay Books.

kap (#1374)

Location: DCPosted: 3105 days ago

Argh. Washington DC, please. Please please. :(

Adam A. (#256)

Location: Phoenix, ArizonaQuote: "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin"Posted: 3105 days ago

Phoenix (Tempe actually) has a really cool and huge independent bookstore, Changing Hands. They have all the cool authors there like Chuck Palahniuk, Sherman Alexie, David Sedaris, etc. And as mentioned earlier, Phoenx is the 5th largest city. C'mon, Martin, 5th largest city. In the whole United States.

Rod McBride (#688)

Have them get your as to Kansas City. Chuck Palahniuk wasn't even done signing autographs until past 2:00 a.m. David Sedaris tickets were $25 (which did NOT include a book) and he was here at least as late.

Get your ass to the heartland. And Chicago does NOT count: that's in Canada.

Alison (#2648)

C. W. (#1092)

Maureen makes a good point but she suggests the wrong Ohio city. Come to the Joseph Beth in Cincinnati, OH. Chicago's all well and good but Cincinnati has big city attractions but has a small town feel to it. You'd meet plenty of down-to-earth people and right across the river is an Hofbrauhaus, so there's a near infinite supply of the best beer on the planet. Plus you could introduce Fin to my 1-year-old nephew Andrew (if she comes).

Cincinnati, Martin! Cincinnati!

Angela (#685)

Location: The capital of the free world (HA!)Quote: "I got nothin'."Posted: 3105 days ago

Definitely the DC metro region. But if you go to Tyson's Corner, people without a car (like me!) wouldn't be able to get to you too easily. Kramerbooks and Politics and Prose are two trendy independent stores in the area, both metro accessible.

Nick (#2620)

Location: AmersfoortQuote: "Am I dreaming this?"Posted: 3105 days ago

I truly agree with Danni Matzk. When are you coming to Europe? More particularly, Amsterdam? This IS of course a city known for its wide variety of temptations. Free sex, loads of drugs, more tulips than you can eat and whatnot.

Is that enough for you to come overhere? Of do I have to bride someone? Let me know who and what amount it takes.

See you soon!

Nico

Mandithecoolkid (#872)

Location: Apple ValleyQuote: ""Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable, we have to alter it every 6 months" Oscar Wilde"Posted: 3105 days ago

i think if you DONT come to la, we're going to hunt you AND your publicist down with torches. :)

Lisa (#2587)

Location: Enfield, Connecticut USAQuote: "outside of dog a book is man's best friend...inside of a dog it's too dark to read--Groucho Marx"Posted: 3105 days ago

Boston, Boston, Boston!And for all of you who can't afford the books...GET THEE TO YOUR LIBRARY!All the cool librarians buy Max Barry!

Caroline (#1667)

Location: www.freewebs.com/davidorthQuote: "Does the Walker Choose the Path, or the Path the Walker?"Posted: 3104 days ago

Again, and I will repeat it, RALEIGH RALEIGH RALEIGH!

North Carolina needs you. We get neglected from time to time. Please come.

Robert (#2152)

Location: Berlin, GermanyPosted: 3104 days ago

since we have the "best"covers:european tour ,germany, berlin!!!

Nick Dasko (#215)

Location: San DiegoQuote: "When does CPR become necorphilia"Posted: 3104 days ago

Why not San Diego. Big population, west coast, and its not L.A.

Josh (#13)

Location: New OrleansQuote: "The problem with most people is that when they're not drunk, they're sober. - Yeats"Posted: 3104 days ago

Hey, how about coming to New Orleans? We storm ravaged folk could use a bald Australian to lift our spirits... y'know before another hurricane hits and wipes us off the map thanks to a crappy levee system

James C King (#156)

Location: Perth, AustrsliaQuote: "Let us rain some DOOM down upon the FILTHY heads of our DOOMED enemies! - Zim"Posted: 3104 days ago

I have to agree with Richard Giles,

PERTH!

You know, That small place no one has ever heard of, and I don't mean in Tasmania or in Scotland....

PERTH!

Um, Can I say it one more time...

PERTH!

Yep, Guess I can.

PERTH!

C Lynch (#2047)

Location: San Diego, California, USAPosted: 3104 days ago

SAN DIEGO! Please, there's NOTHING else here... If you don't I guess I could trekk up to Frisco.. but.. but... SAN DIEGO! Please?

H.G.Wells (#2282)

Location: Portland, OregonQuote: "If you are flamable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. - Mitch Hedberg"Posted: 3104 days ago

A couple of people have said Portland or Seattle things. Preferably it'd be Portland because 1)We like our books (Powells!) 2)Doughnuts (Voodoo!) and 3)Coffee (it's everywhere, really!) of course, I'd settle for Seattle, it is the next closest, but c'mon, us Portlanders are fun!

Thanks,Hannah

Narain (#824)

Location: Los Angeles, right between civilization and a desertQuote: "NI!"Posted: 3104 days ago

Los Angeles, you know we love you long time. Plus, you can try schmoozing with all those celebrities you want to cast!

Jonah (#1462)

Location: Morristown, IndianaQuote: "That little story your writing... with the developing plot... and the antagonist..."Posted: 3104 days ago

Yeah, Chicago will be great. If that stays on the list, I'll make it a point to go up there to visit. Mind you, as a college student, I have no money. Max, you're paying for my plane/bus ticket. As a famous author, it's like pocket change to you.

Lisa (#2455)

Location: IowaQuote: "Never judge a book by its movie."Posted: 3104 days ago

I second the vote to come to the REAL heartland! Forget Chicago or Minneapolis, why not Omaha or even better Des Moines, IA!

austin (#2462)

Location: rhode islandQuote: "hmmm...bleh..."Posted: 3104 days ago

I WILL BE AT THE BOSTON TOUR!!!! I'll have to do a little begging, but I'll get there. Now, I just need to find the dates...

jjhatch (#2651)

Location: Round Rock, TXQuote: "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!"Posted: 3103 days ago

Nooo! Keep Austin on the list. It's in the central part of Texas, so it's good. Dallas is alright, but you can drop it if you want. You won't get bored in Austin, that's for sure, since we're the Live Music Capital of the World. Plus we have Book People, which is a really cool bookstore. :)

Wade Geary (#1804)

It looks like the Midwest is pretty well represented (in both your tentative list and in previous comments), but I'll throw out Iowa City as a possibility anyways. Prairie Lights Bookstore...

Narflz (#2594)

Location: St. LouisQuote: "WARNING: Extended Use Of Narflz May Cause Explosive Diarhea"Posted: 3103 days ago

man, i'm getting pissed off at everyone who is begging for San Diego, i understand everyone wants him in their city, BUT COME ON! he's already got San Fran, and probably LA on the list, stop hogging, each state should have a max (haha, pun) of one stop on it

man, i do hope you hit missouri (either KC or STL) b/c that's a long way up to Chicago, that i would rather not make if not absolutely necessary

as for the few people talking about Raleigh, they have a point, that entire region is neglected, tho like i've said, ATL or somewhere in Florida would be ideal b/c of the size of the cities (and ATL has the whole Coka-Cola connection, haha)

but yeah, cut out either dallas or austin, and i'd say hit LA instead of San Fran, and missing NYC would be idiocy

so with the list as it is, you basically have the Great Lakes, the NE, Cali., Texas, and Denver, which kicks ass for anyone in those specific areas, but leaves out about75% of the population, and if it was spread out better, you could at least make it accessable to a good 70% of the population instead of a measly 25% (and no, those numbers are probably very inaccurate, but they get the gist of the point across)

oh, and to everyone in Europe, the reason he isn't visiting you all on this tour is b/c it is a U.S. TOUR! feel free to complain he isn't doing a european tour, that's totally within your rights, and in my opinion, it's only fair that he should, but don't be mad he isn't going to England on an American tour, to the canadians tho, you are right, it would be nice to at least give you all one stop somewhere at least

Linnea1928 (#2654)

Location: Rosemount, MNPosted: 3103 days ago

I think that you should come to the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. I guess Chicago would work, but dude Minneapolis is way cooler than Chicago!

Ae Sengmavong (#2655)

james bullock (#2656)

come to jacksonville where the murder rates are high, hell just come to somewhere in florida.

Scott (#2517)

Location: New YorkQuote: "Get over yourself!"Posted: 3101 days ago

How is New York not on the list??? Come on, you've got to come here!!!

Anita Heiney (#292)

Location: Richmond, VA USAQuote: "I came. I signed up. I got an error."Posted: 3101 days ago

Helloow - Richmond - as in Virginia? Capital of the Confederacy ... Land of the Free, Home of the Brave ... Murder City (#1 in the nation in murder rate) ... on second thought, maybe a 2-hr trip to Northern Virginia or Washington DC wouldn't be so bad either. (We all need to get away sometime.)

Celeste (#2590)

I'm fascinated that all promoters seem to think that if they've got Chicago, they've covered the Midwest. From St. Louis, it's too long for a day trip, to expensive to spend the night....sigh. This happens with most celebrities. Most of the really good concerts, Art Exhibits, etc., go to Chicago, and then on to a coastline. This in spite of the fact that every one who's been here says St. Louis has the best fans, just ask Sammy Haggar, Kansas(the band, not the state), the Cardinals, the sumo wrestlers- Sanahama and Koryu, etc. The Paul McCartney concert here was better than the one they showed on t.v. I'd even settle for catching the train to Kansas City to see you, I have friends there with whom I could stay.

Christopher Liakos (#1814)

Location: Tampa, Florida USAQuote: "If you do not be quiet this instant, a garden gnome shall be forcibly inserted in your posterior."Posted: 3100 days ago

Well, I'm officially sick of Tampa, Florida never being a stop in any book tour. We happen to be one of the larger metropolitan areas here in the States and are constantly getting larger. Plus, our cost of living is ridiculously high yet our gas prices are manageable. What that translates to is rich people with money to spend. Finally, we have a very nice 5 diamond rated hotel that you could trick the publisher into getting you a room at. I'll stop now, but I think I've made my point.

Wes (#1857)

Posted: 3100 days ago

How about Pittsburgh? That way I can send my sister like I did when Chuck Palahniuk toured. Or you could make it easy on both of us and come to Wilmington, NC. I came here once to visit. I still haven't made it home.

Brad (#2012)

Location: ChicagoPosted: 3100 days ago

You should definitely come to Chicago. More specifically, you should go to Quimby's, the cool little indie store, as opposed to Border's downtown.

Nicole (#2668)

Genevieve SaDiablo (#2035)

Location: USAQuote: "BAM! Now I have a SPICY ROCK!"Posted: 3099 days ago

I have to agree with what someone (sorry, I can't find the post) already said: why is there no stop in the southeastern US?

Atlanta, GA would be nice. It's a big metro area, although unless you live *in* Atlanta, it'd be a drive and a half! Nashville is still a bit too Midwest if you ask me, and you have enough stops in the northern and southern Midwest as it goes.

Also, the two stops in Texas? WTF? There should be a limit on how close each stop can be from each other stop - like eight hours of interstate travel or something.

Unless DC gets added, you are not visiting a city even remotely close to me, so this is a purely intellectual decision on my part.

Scott (#2517)

Location: New YorkQuote: "Get over yourself!"Posted: 3099 days ago

I'll say it again NEW YORK!!!!! Where else is there really to go??? NYC baby!!!

MaceQuantex (#2672)

Location: MinnesotaPosted: 3098 days ago

Put down with the group that wants you to come to Minneapolis.

austin (#2462)

Location: rhode islandQuote: "hmmm...bleh..."Posted: 3098 days ago

Just like go to every state for like 2 hours. that's like 100 hours. it's nothing. and everyone will be happy.

unless they can;t make it.

go for 4 hours to each state.

Dan (#2673)

Location: USAQuote: "Trust your stuff."Posted: 3098 days ago

I am glad to see Washington DC on that list. Waaaait....it's not on there at all!Add somewhere near DC, I've never cared enough about any book or author to come to a book signing but I would come to this one.Then you can visit those cowboys out in Perth.

kelly (#2681)

Dont listen to the bitter people outside of Dallas. Please keep Dallas on the list, Austin is great as well!

Chris (#2705)

Posted: 3080 days ago

Austin reads while the rest of Texas does not. Also it's a fun city unlike the rest of Texas. I currently live in Dallas, I am moving to Austin ... well once I find a job, damnit. ..... Actually you may want to visit your fans in Houston .... they need you the most ....

-Chris

Jennifer (#2521)

Location: Madison, WIPosted: 3078 days ago

I think that instead of Chicago, Milwaukee, WI or Madison, WI would be better. ;) But either way,I'll be there.

~Jennifer

Eluvatar (#2716)

Location: BostonPosted: 3075 days ago

Boston? Yay!!

Boston is the only important city of the United States :P

blab (#1632)

Location: The Sandwich IslesQuote: "Adventure is just poor planning"Posted: 3075 days ago

What, TWO cities in California, TWO cities in Texas and not even a little bitty fuel stop in Honolulu, Hawaii? Max, Max, Max, this is unfair.

Justin (#2721)

Posted: 3073 days ago

w00t! See you in Ann Arbor my man! You better be coming while U of M is in session though man, I'll be extremely disappointed if I miss your visit cause I'm at home.

Taylor Cathcart (#2124)

Location: Seattle, WashingtonQuote: "The elixir is hidden in the poison"Posted: 3063 days ago