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Captain America will take you through a comprehensive guide on how to survive the gym.

Coming Soon: Don’t Make Me Hungry. You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Hungry

Stay tuned for the ultimate guide to hypertrophy nutrition.

Coming Soon: DSW Night Crawler

BAMF!

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Lady Carnage. Nice.

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Wasp, rumoured to be in Avengers, during Marvel's phase 2.

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Ms Captain America is quite popular these days.

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Lady Venom? Preparing for a night on the raz?

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That's my kinda ward.

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Anime Wonder Woman. Befitting and sexy. Good combo.

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In an alternate reality, Stark was rather sultry.

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Another befitting cosplay. Yummy.

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Awesome Iron Man outfit Stark would be proud..

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That is the cutest Bat Girl ever.

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S&M Super Girl. Sweet.

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Untouchable. Literally.

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Hardly proper plumbing attire.

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A very sexy Psylocke indeed.

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Oh, sweet Chun-li and your athletic thighs. Hmmm

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Harley has always had a special place in my larcenous heart, it's that cute Brooklyn accent that does it.

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That, is the most awesome Judge Death costume. Impressed would be an understatement.

It took a while, but your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor, after much undignified ransacking piles of disorganised documents, has located the most appropriate qualifications to display. Hopefully this should instil my beloved readers with trust in Level Up's advice. Yay.

For those of my beloved readers who are not familiar with Systemic kinesiology, it is the science of biological movement.

Managed to blag this one by getting a loan from the princes Trust. Oh, and studying of course. This qualification completes my knoweledge of all the human systems; skeletal, muscular, cardiovascular, lymphatic, endocrine etc. Enhancing my advice to you, beloved reader and also making me a more efficient killer.

My favourite and most recent. There are plenty more qualifications where that came from, and hopefully should be removing any doubts in your mind about a blogger who attempts to transform people into Superheroes and believes in the abstract concept of levelling up.

A terrible thought crossed my ever pontificating mind that after reading some of the training articles here at Level Up, some beloved readers may be tempted to take a chemically assisted shortcut to hypertrophy. Thus, it is my duty to inform you on the pros and cons, and of course science y’all upside the head.

These are the Droids you’re looking for however.

Anabolic Steroids

Yup. That terrible buzz-word has finally appeared on Level Up, but fear not, your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor is here to keep you informed of the effects, side-effects and dangers of these nefarious chemical compounds. The advice bit will follow, but in the interests of true journalism, (I’m qualified and everything now.Yay), I present a the tale of how they came to be.

Percy Lavon Julian, unsung hero of medical science

This man is responsible for a myriad of medical breakthroughs.

Overall our knowledge of the great people who brought us groundbreaking milestones in medical science is pretty lacklustre. Can you honestly say that you have ever heard of this great man?

Occasionally a scientist will be so prominent as to be noticed by all; Albert Einstein is an obvious example, also consider those who are well-known for their inventions, again an obvious example would be someone like Thomas Edison. It is sad but true that the vast majority of the things we use every day were created by people whose names are unknown to us; because they never got credit for them or we just plain old couldn’t be bothered to learn who the brainiac was.

If you look in your medicine cabinet, at least half of what you find there was because of the genius of Percy Lavon Julian. Born April 11, 1899 he was one of the first African-Americans to receive a doctorate in chemistry. He was the first African-American chemist inducted into the National Academy of Sciences, and the second African-American scientist inducted from any field.

Our unsung hero working hard.

He specialised in the chemical synthesis of medicinal drugs from plants, it was one of the most crucial advancements in modern medicine. Ever used birth-control pills? An asthma inhaler? Taken medication for arthritis, eczema, chronic lung illness or even cancer?

You can thank Percy Julian for inventing the steroids required to produce them. On these merits alone, Julian should have been recognised and revered. He wasn’t however, because he was a black man living under the Jim Crow laws. Enacted between 1876 and 1965 these laws mandate a “separate but equal” status for African-Americans. The separation in practice led to conditions for African-Americans that tended to be inferior to those provided for white Americans, systematizing a number of economic, educational and social disadvantages.

Some examples of Jim Crow laws are the segregation of public schools, public places, public transportation, and the segregation of restrooms, restaurants, and even drinking fountains. Even the U.S. military was also segregated. Before Julian made his epic discoveries, he was a promising chemist and was hired as a faculty member at the traditionally black school Howard University. No other African-American had ever earned a PhD in chemistry up to that point, due to the ridiculous Jim Crow laws, but that would not stop Julian.

Despite his talents and intellect, no school would offer him a place in a doctoral program; but he persevered and applied to overseas schools, eventually securing himself a fellowship to get his doctorate in Vienna, Austria. Julian sent letter after letter to one of his colleagues back at Howard University. Unwisely he bragged about his sexual exploits and gossiped about his former co-workers. Some years later when he returned to work for Howard, his colleague whom had received all the letters, he and Julian had a falling out. The letters were handed to the black press and published, tarnishing his reputation.

This was then compounded by him having an affair with his assistant’s wife. He was forced to quit University; humiliated and vilified by the black press. This remained a problem, as they chose to hold a grudge against him for years. A paint company in Chicago called Glidden hired him as director of research, an unprecedented move at the time, considering the laws. It was here that he saw the research he was performing could do much more than make paints. In 1940, Julian discovered the technique to isolate the hormones progesterone, oestrogen and testosterone from; wait for it, soybean oil! Following this discovery he was able to synthesize $10,000 worth of these hormones a day.

That’s right, beloved reader. Julian’s genius was such, that he could use the oils of this humble food to create hormones.

Within a few years this led to another scientist figuring out how to use cortisone to treat arthritis. He later started his own company to synthesize steroid intermediates from the Mexican wild yam. His work helped reduce the cost of steroid intermediates to large multinational pharmaceutical companies.

Julian on the cover of Time magazine for his achievements.

During his lifetime he received more than 130 chemical patents. Yet, even after all his achievements, becoming an award-winning scientist, a wealthy businessman and community member, Julian and his family still had to suffer prejudice and segregation because of the ridiculous and prejudiced Jim Crow laws. During the 1960’s equal rights movements were becoming stronger, more forceful.

Julian was loath to adopt a more aggressive way of fighting for equality. but he eventually joined the NAACP, (whose tactics at ensuring equality were a lot more aggressive than they are now), It is heartbreaking, for a man of such significant accomplishments to resort to violent methods against bigotry that shouldn’t even ever have existed. But people can only be pushed so far before taking drastic measures.

But that story ended on such a negative. Why, Rogue Advisor, would you subject us to this?

Apologies, beloved reader, but the tale had to be told

The pros of roids

Various anabolic steroids on display there.Not to sure whether the dumbbell shaped thing should be taken orally or intravenously?

Anabolic steroids by definition are a synthetic derivatives of testosterone. Modern anabolic steroids are created from Mexican Sarsaparilla root, (wild yam). The root itself has no anabolic qualities in its natural form, but can be synthesised into testosterone. Testosterone is the primary male sex hormone, it is produced by the testes, in layman’s terms ‘balls’.

It is an androgen responsible for hypertrophy and also an androgenic, which causes facial hair to grow and the deepening of voice etc. Testosterone is the big daddy when it comes to growth and repair of tissues such as skeletal muscle. The primary mode of anabolic action with all anabolic/androgenic steroids is the activation of cellular androgen receptors to increase protein synthesis, thus the requirement for a perfect diet, chock full of glorious tasty protein filed foods, and also a genetic ‘blessing’ to have a great number of these receptors.

That’s the stuff produced by your balls guys.

We are all born with a certain amount of these and that is that, they cannot be increased nor decreased. The number of receptors is set in stone until the end of our days, thus anabolic steroids will not have a noticeable effect on anyone with a low androgenic receptor count. For those of you a high amount of androgenic receptors, consider this: Working out actually destroys the skeletal muscle tissue, breaking it down and leaving it temporarily weak.

The body, being the wondrous adaptive machine that it is, then reacts to this by re-growth of the muscle tissue. When they are fully healed again, they are better prepared for the stresses that caused the initial damage by adapting to the new input with increased strength and hypertrophy.

This is the Supervillain ‘Balloon Man’, his powers include looking hideous.

This anabolic process require resting and eating enough protein, unfortunately, many factors can limit the amount of protein we can absorb and the rate at which we absorb it, therefore slowing our progress and limiting the gains from our workouts. That’s where the appeal of taking the chemical shortcut comes in; The faster the skeletal muscle regenerate via protein synthesis, the sooner you can pump iron again.

Supplementing external anabolic compounds increases hormone levels, and thus the speed and efficiency of protein absorption, speeding up the muscular regeneration, thus being able to pound the iron more often, thus building strength and size at a greatly increased frequency. However, even if you’re pumping yourself full of roids, if you don’t genetically have enough androgen receptors to deal with them, don’t consume enough protein andmiss workouts; you’ll be wasting time. Anabolic steroids alone do not build alone. You have to do the work, the diet and have the receptors.

The cons of roids

Little fella will never be the same again.

There were already a few cons in the pros section, how bad can it be?

Legalities: I don’t really need to go into this do I? It’s against UK law. Nuff said. Acne: Rampant acne is one of the more obvious indicators of steroid use. The sebaceous glands, which secrete oils in the skin, are stimulated by androgens, increasing the level of skin hormones, enhancing the output of oils. It most commonly causes large patches of acne to develop on the back, shoulders and more often than not the face. Not such a bad side effect? Try the rest of them.

Aggressive behavior: Can be one of the scarier sides of steroid use. Men are typically more aggressive than women because of the significantly higher testosterone difference, and especially increasing this with the use of steroids. Yet some bodybuilders and powerlifters like this effect for the use of lifting heavier and more explosive.

But is that really worth hurting people for? Especially if one were to enter a rage and hurt a friend, family member etc. It most definitely is not the Superhero / Level Up way of doing things. Yet some bodybuilders and powerlifters like this effect for the use of lifting heavier and more explosive.

You’ll be sorry. Too a lot of people, maybe even those you love.

Birth defects: Anabolic steroids can have a profoundly impact on the development of a fetus. Adrenal Genital Syndrome in particular is a very disturbing occurrence, in which a female fetus can develop male reproductive organs. Woman should not use anabolic steroids or other medications that may be harmful to the fetus, and always check with your doctor first.

Blood clotting: Anabolic steroids have been proven to increase prothrombin time, or the duration it will take for a blood clot to form. This basically means that while an individual is taking steroids, he/she may notice that it takes slightly longer than usual for a small cut or nosebleed to stop seeping blood. This leads to exacerbated life threatening situations if the athlete ever requires invasive surgery.

Heart damage: If the steroids in question are being administered intravenously, they will always pass through the tricuspid valve of the heart, the first through which de-oxygenated blood flows through in order to be re-oxygenated for the next cardiovascular cycle. If enough damage is caused to the valve, de-oxygenated blood will flow back the way it entered, damaging the valve even more and reducing hemoglobin levels.

All that scar tissue, ruining it’s functions, will never heal.

Liver damage: As with everything that is taken orally,it will at some point be processed by the liver. And of course damage it, irreparably. Even a long-term alcoholic can recover around 60% of their liver’s original functionality. Steroid damage to the liver is permanent.

And this, beloved reader, is the irreparable damage to the kidneys through anabolic steroid usage.

Kidney damage: Since your kidneys are involved in the filtration and removal of byproducts from the body, the administration of steroidal compounds (which are largely excreted in the urine) will cause them some level of strain. There is actually some evidence to suggest that steroid use can be linked to the onset of Wilms Tumor in adults, which is a rapidly growing kidney tumor.

Gynecomastia: The medical term is for the development of female breast tissue in the male body. This occurs when the male is presented with unusually high level of oestrogen, particularly with the use of strong aromatizing androgens such as testosterone and the most popular oral steroid Dianabol. The excess estrogen can act upon receptors in the breast and stimulate the growth of mammary tissues. So if you want the boobs plus pecs combo guys, get roiding!

An A-cup at least, there are worse cases, and surgery is the only option.

Testicular shrinkage: Steroids can make your balls shrivel up guys. Need I say any more? If that wasn’t enough it can cause baldness and prostate cancer.

I ain’t touching that s**t

Wise words. But the saddest truth is this:

Anabolic steroids are only a shortcut. The maximum hypertrophy any person can ever attain is genetically predetermined. It’s limited by your very DNA, you can only get so big. Why rush it? Also, most people can only produce roughly 1.5 pounds per week, your body actually limits the hypertrophy to take pressure from bones and joints. Steroid use cannot change this anatomical fact.

After the last instalment of designer superhero workouts, this one seems like a walk in the park. Just minus the walking. And maybe even the park. There will be no cardio in this one. Just iron. Lots of gorgeous iron.

Many have tried to bring a definitive Thor based workout to the masses when the first Thor movie was released, but failed miserably, because they are those same harbingers of falsehoods and fitness myths that I find myself battling in literary format 24/7. That is unless I can actually get my mitts on ’em. Then its red to the elbow o’clock.

I rest my well-informed case. That is just begging for an injury.Worse yet, the ‘personal trainer’ will have some bull-s**t justification for this ‘Final Destination’ style death waiting to happen. You’d be safer eating a bowl of corn flakes filled with claymore mines.

It has been attempted by bodybuilding.com, behindtheworkout com, muscleandbrawn.com, and even Men’s ‘Health’ magazine. Only on the extremely rare occasion these sites / publications have some decent information; these particular articles in question was farcical.

None of the above clearly have any understanding of the biology, kinesiology or any of the myriad concepts that influence the complex machine that is the human being to stimulate attribute improvement.

I can, without doubt beloved reader, having spoken to no one that has tried these so-called workout plans, be sure that they didn’t get the results they were looking for. They may have got some results, but nowhere near as constructive as a truly well-informed, anatomically and plan adhering to the fine science of kinesiology.

The biggest problem we face with these articles, is that the majority of the writers of them are merely familiar with exercise equipment and seemingly completely lacking any understanding of anatomy, apart from a vague awareness of humanoid form. Taking advice from these ill-informed cretins is akin to asking a bus driver how to perform brain surgery.

Now that I’ve just made a bunch of enemies within the fitness and fitness magazine industries; (imagine thunder and lightning whilst reading this please), your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor presents:

The Asgardian Power-House Workout

Majestic, powerful and a freakin’ demigod for crying out loud.Who wouldn’t want such power?

This periodized program like the other designer Superhero workout plans will be a 12 week fast-track, hard-core plan. But will have an extra week post-main plan, as a kind of ‘warm-up’ week. The power work involved is extremely intense business and if strict form and perfect technique is not adhered to may lead to injury. Therefore, this ‘warm-up’ week is to ensure that you, beloved reader, do not get injured.

Remember, beloved reader, this series of workouts are for the truly hard-core among us, those who will let nothing stand between them and god-like power.

No chance Super-ham, it’s an Excalibur situation.

Unlike the extremely complex Spiderman workout, which would have required either a gym, (EEK), membership or very comprehensive and expensive set of home workout equipment. The Thor workout is can be done at home away from all those sweaty-know-it-all-gym-rats. This is all free weights, as primal as it gets; picking up huge items made of cast iron and showing them who’s the boss. Like a boss. An Asgardian boss.

As these exercises require perfect technique; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor has used his valuable and very limited online storage space to provide you with the best instructional videos I could find, as well as some handy links. Be sure to absorb the videos safety and exercise technique information only; the rest is superfluous.

That is until Level Up has its own studio. Then yours truly will be providing you with bullet proof instructional videos. Yay.

Week 1: Foundation techniques

This week takes the full workout plan of phase 1 of this periodized program, and breaks it down into only one of the exercises per day. Start mega-light, just the barbell with no added resistance to begin with.

When you become comfortable with the technique itself; slowly, gradually bring the resistance up. I would suggest at no more than 2.5 kg increases per set, if not even smaller increments.

Do as many sets as possible to get the muscles used to contracting in that manner. It’s a strange kinesiological fact, but muscles seem to have the need to ‘learn’. You have the whole workout to master one single exercise each day of this week. This also adds the advantage of having a pretty good idea how much weight you’ll be lifting before you begin the routine proper.

Perform 5 repetitions each time, rest about a minute before the next set. This is a cheeky tactic invented by the legendary Reg Park .

Legendary body-builder Reg Park had the ideal Superhero physique.

Squats

The following is some of the best squatting technique advice I’ve had the pleasure to encounter. It is also your first opponent on the path to Asgardian might. Also known as Monday. That’s it. The first day of ‘warm-up’ week is squats, squats, squats and then more squats. Enjoy.

Dead-lifts

This will be Tuesday’s workout, dead-lifting. Called by some the ‘king of lifts’ because they work almost every muscle in your body.

I could happily watch her dead-lift all day. Also she is a shining example that women doing weights, does not produce this:

Bent-over barbell rows

A tricky exercise to maintain proper form on, but if perfected, one of the most effective techniques to get the latissimus dorsi pumped up. I’m pretty sure you’ve figured out by now that this is the only move on the agenda for Thursday.

By now, if you are going to the gym for these training sessions you may find the meat-head, jocks and gym-rats are probably gonna give you weird looks, ignore them, they should be concentrating on their own workouts.

If they are staring because they don’t understand what you’re doing, then that just demonstrates their lack of fitness knowledge. Even worse; these malefic perpetrators of misinformation may try to give you ‘advice’. Politely decline, preferably with a wry smirk upon your face that tells them “I know something you don’t know.” Ignore them.

This movement will produce that Superhero ‘V’ shape so desired by many.

Military press

Friday is here. Yay. Half day at work for most of you Londoners, so extra fuel in the tank for the splendid exercise known as the military press. Bet you can’t guess how it got named,eh?

This will blast the deltoids extremely hard, so just as with all the exercises before begin with just the barbell, to get used to the technique, perform 5 repetitions, rest one minute, add a little resistance and have at it again.

Now that’s what you call a military press y’all. Soon, beloved reader, soon you shall know the strength of Asgard.

Phase 1: Power – 3 weeks

This phase will only last 3 weeks, because it’s so very intense. However, you will be doing all 5 of the above power moves in one gruelling session.

All exercises should be as heavy as possible but with perfect form, 5 sets of 5 repetitions on each of them. We want limit your ‘rest’ periods between sets to no more than a minute, this will be difficult at first, so begin with two minutes, then take 15 seconds less ‘rest’ between sets with each new training session. It’s gonna be tough. But it’s gonna be worth it.

Do the things that others wont today, so that you can do the things others can’t tomorrow.

The workout: 5 sets of 5 reps

Squats

Dead-lifts

Bench press

Bent-over barbell rows

Military press

Perform the workouts 3 times a week, preferably Monday, Wednesday and Friday, giving you 2 days to recover, plus you have the weekend off. After such brutal training week 2 days of rest will be required, get plenty of extra sleep.

Or if you can’t schedule it like that, then arrange the training pattern so that you can get 2 full days rest, but never perform the workouts on consecutive days, you will be overworking the muscles causing atrophy, ,also inviting injury and that is detrimental to our quest to god-like Asgardian strength.

“Come at me bro.”

Phase 2: Hypertrophy – 3 weeks

This section of the periodized program will be a 3-way body-part split, utilising only compound movements, (exercises where multiple joints move, therefore more muscle fibres recruited, and more hypertrophy), wherever possible. Once again try to schedule these workouts for Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and plan for a 2 day rest period during the week.

If possible always workout in the morning when testosterone levels are at their highest, it makes you primal. 4 set of 8 reps for all exercises involved. No exceptions. This is the perfect rep range due to the different muscle fibre types within skeletal muscle. Allow you friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor to blow your Asgardian brain with Earth science.

By Odin’s beard! What is this Earth ‘science’ you speak of?

There it is, the mighty Odin’s beard.Envy it.

Type I Fibres: Also called slow twitch fibres or oxidative fibres. They have the largest capillary count, many mitochondria, and heaps of myoglobin giving them a red colouration. These muscle fibres are geared toward endurance, very resistant to fatigue and able to contract continuously over an extended period of time and generating adenosine triphosphate by oxidative, (aerobic), metabolism. Therefore they are stimulated by high rep ranges, around 10 to 15 reps, even more reps, 15 to 25 for advanced endurance athletes.

Type II Fibres: They can be split into a further 2 categories.

Type IIb Fibres:We’ll cover IIb first, because type IIa are a relatively recent discovery. Also known as fast twitch or glycolytic fibres, type IIb have a lower myoglobin and capillary count giving them a white, (looks like chicken meat), colouration. This allows for high contraction velocity, gearing them toward anaerobic metabolism, making them effective for short yet more intense workouts. They are generally stimulated by a rep range of 1 – 6.

Type IIa Fibres: These are adaptive muscle fibres, strange as it sounds. They adapt to whichever type of work the other fibre types are doing. So when the fast twitch fibres are doing their thing, they start going glycolytic and when the slow twitch are doing their thing, they start going oxidative. They look pink due to the combination of oxidative and glycolytic capabilities. Most people don’t have many of these fibres; a shame given their properties.

Thus, 8 reps per set hits a nice mid-range, stimulating all fibre types, and any type IIa will adapt to both kinds of input.

Temporary X-ray vision for y’all.

Adenosine Triphosphate? Speak sense foolish mortal.

Adenosine triphosphate: (ATP from now on), is considered by biologists to be the ‘currency of life’. ATP, a nucleotide, powers cellular metabolism, and is present in the cytoplasm and nucleoplasm of every cell. The structure of ATP is an ordered compound of three phosphates, connected to each other by oxygens and sandwiched on either side by more oxygens.

These oxygens each have a negative charge, so their just itching to get away from each other. Because of this ATP is just bursting with energy, about 7.3 calories per mole, (30.6 kj/mol), and is a lot happier as a molecule when it has only two phosphate bonds.

Whenever we make any physical movement, an appropriate amount of these little guys, all little ticking time bombs of energy, are more than happy to shoot of one of the phosphate bonds and power up cellular metabolism. Sweet. However, once it has shot one of the bonds it becomes a redundant compound, adenosine diphosphate, (ADP), and goes into a little mood having no desire to create any more energy. Each gram of skeletal muscle has around 7 – 8 mol of ATP stored ready to go, then once it’s fired its load creatine phosphate comes to the rescue. Yay.

That’s what our dear ATP looks like.

Now you have been suitably scienced

Day 1: Pectoralis major, triceps, calves

Incline dumbbell bench press:Now we are fully hitting every muscle at every angle rather than building all-round power, thus adding slabs of mighty beef-cakery all over the show, this fine exercise targets the clavicular fibres of the pecs.Bench press: You should be very familiar with this one by now. Level up your strength beloved reader.

Skull crushers: A wondrous name for a wondrous technique that suits our hammer wielding subject perfectly. These will not only hit the triceps nicely, but are a ‘sports specific‘ movement for carrying out devastating hammer attacks upon those foolish enough to mess with Asgard.

It was difficult to find a decent instructional for this one, but fear not, beloved reader, after searching the strange realm you mortals call the internet, we have a marvel of your ‘Earth science’ to show you the ways of augmenting hammer based attacks. Preferably aimed at the skull. Then crushing said skull.Close-grip bench press: You have to be careful with hand positioning on this exercise, otherwise you’ll just be repeating unnecessarily the normal bench press again.

The focus of close-grip bench press is to blast the triceps into a hypertrophic frenzy, adding solid combat ready muscle with which to wield a hammer, or any bludgeon of your own choosing for that matter.

Standing calf raises: This will act as a kind of ‘cool down ‘after all that extremely heavy iron shifting. But if done properly you will have trouble walking temporarily.

Bent-over dumbbell rows: This initially seems like a move that will produce similar results to the above, but whilst it still works the latissimus dorsi, it also works: lower and mid-trapezius, rhomboids, teres major, teres minor, and infraspinatus. The supination, pronation or neutral grip positioning will change the targeted muscles quite dramatically.

Preacher hammer curls: Yes! That is the actual name of the excise, how cool is that, and it’s relevant to our program. Get hammering my Asgardian chums.Barbell curls: Finishing off the biceps in a brutal way, by the end of this hypertrophic phase you will be able to display a fine ‘gun show’.

Vertical bench leg raise: These will produce abs that you could be seen through a skiing jacket. As an added bonus the instructor is hot. Yay.

Day 3: Legs, shoulders, forearms

Squats: Monday on ‘warm-up’ week made you very aware of these quadricep builders of doom.

Walking Dumbbell Lunges: To truly promote hypertrophy in such a massive muscle group as quadriceps, we need at least 2 compound movements to make them powerful. This is another ‘sport specific’ exercise that will have you charging at alarming speeds toward your enemy upon the battlefield.

Stiff legged dead-lifts: This variation on the deadlift, (kinda like ‘diet dead-lifts’), will not only keep your body prepared for another power phase, (Yup, there’ll be another), but work the hamstrings in an isometric manner, not only causing muscular strength gains, but building a formidable lower body stability. Ice hockey players utilise this exercise to make their stance solid and steadfast upon the ice.

Arnold press: A great exercise for the anterior and lateral heads of the deltoids. They also add punching power for when you’ve thrown your hammer and are waiting for it to return to your hand to punish the enemies of Asgard.

Behind the neck press: The sibling exercise to military press, now you have these training techniques under your belt, you’ll have no problem lifting opponents over-head and hurling them to land in a crumpled and defeated heap of broken flesh and bone, whilst waiting for that pesky hammer you’re still waiting to return.

Dumbbell shrugs: These slight and mild mannered in appearance dumbbell shrugs are vital at this point, a lot of the exercises in this routine have only worked them synergistically, or worked only 1 or 2 parts of the 3 sectioned muscle. Shrugs target the meaty part at the top of the shoulders. Kinesiologically, they are working whenever you are bearing weight in your hands in order to support the shoulder girdle.

Forearm curls: All Asgardian warriors need a firm grip on their weapon of choice, (preferably hammer of course), and this exercise will round off your physique nicely. If you’ve got massive biceps and triceps but skinny forearms, a warrior you will not look like. There are 2 variations of this technique demonstrated below, pick whichever feels right to you.

I think that’s Thor’s way of saying “Don’t quit”.Or maybe he just wants to go ballistic bludgeon style.

So what’s next?

Simple. Repeat the power phase again, (but obviously without the extra ‘warmup’ week), you’ll notice a massive increase in strength. Then repeat the hypertrophy phase.

That’s the whole 12 weeks. By the end of it you will be buff and strong, and with the nice weather here in good old blighty, plenty of opportunity to get your top off and make others feel ashamed of their laziness.

If you get bored with the exercises and the exercise order, you can substitute them for others that work a similar group of muscles, and even re-arrange the 3-way hypertrophy split. For example, you could substitute seated cable rows for one arm dumbbell rows, preacher barbell curls instead of barbell curls, or even body-weight dips in place of skull crushers.

Unfortunately, due to our strict mistress kinesiology, the power phase is unchangeable. Sorry, beloved reader.

Diet

This is the complicated part. But without decent nutrition, the workouts will not be as effectual and you won’t recover properly from all your hard work. Diet is 80% of the battle.

Try to eat every 3 hours, to keep the metabolism boosted and a steady stream of nutrients coming in to help you recover from the workouts. It’s possible to get away with eating every 5 hours, but 3 hours between protein ‘fixes’ will give you optimum protein synthesis, thus yielding the fastest results.

I know this is tricky to do, and for those of us on a limited finances difficult to afford, but with a little imagination and efficient budgeting it can be done; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor also suffers these conditions, but it is still attainable.

Get your protein from high quality sources: eggs, milk, fish, beef, chicken, and for those of us, like yours truly, with those horrifying afflictions known as employment, protein shakes and protein bars. There are some very reasonably priced protein supplements around for the convenience of maintaining good nitrogen balance. GNC and Holland and Barrett are constantly having guerilla warfare style sales wars, so keep checking them out.

This is the only diet plan on Level Up thus far that has fat restrictions in the diet. Get your sources of dietary fat from quality foods such a fish, nuts and seeds. No saturated fats. Also the little things help, use cooking spray when you fry food, use low fat spreads, fat-free milk etc.

Count the Macro-nutrients

It seems like a major hassle to begin with, but check the nutritional stats of every meal you eat. Eventually you’ll get so used to it, you’ll be able to approximate and / or guesstimate how much is in what food.

Protein: This is the chief nutrient for building strength and power. Protein’s crucial role in the body includes building, maintaining and repairing body tissue. It is especially important to physically active individuals whose muscle tissue is constantly in need of repair.

Protein has other roles in the body; all enzymes and hormones, which perform vital functions, are proteins. In addition, proteins are used to aid in the immune process. But the liver can only handle so much in one sitting. It is widely debated what the actual number of grams of protein it can effectively deal with; speculations range from 32 to 48 grams. For the purposes of maximizing muscle gains but limiting gluconeogenesis, (there will be plenty of glucose knocking around already), You should aim for hitting 40 grams of quality per meal and hopefully managing that at least five to six meals each day with a minimum of three hours between each protein fix.

Protein is made of amino acids. Ain’t it pretty.

Carbohydrates: Our main source of energy. They are chains of small, simple sugars that are broken down and enter the body as glucose. Glucose is essential for the body, as it is the preferred source of energy in our brain, heart and central nervous system. For this reason, we won’t be doing anything silly to maintain rippage like Atkins’ diet. Atkins’ had a reasonable idea, but neglected to mention that without glucose from carbs in your diet to metabolize fat, muscle tissue would be broken down and converted into sugar for that very purpose, defeating the object entirely. Aim for roughly the same amount of carbs as you do with protein. With the exception of doubling the carbs 1 hour before and one hour after a training session. The trick with carbs and getting buff is to keep the Glycemic Index low.

Fat: The misconception about fat is that it is always bad for you. In fact, fat is essential for maintaining a healthy body and is a vital metabolic precursor to various steroid hormones. The trick is to eat a moderate amount of the good fats and none of the bad fats. Saturated and trans fats must be avoided while increases levels essential fatty acids, such as omega 3 and omega 6.

Going out of the realms of macro-nutrients and into micro-nutrients briefly; fat plays a vital role in the digestion of vitamins A, D, E, and K, which are fat soluble, meaning they need fat in order to be absorbed into the body. So don’t completely remove all fats from your diet.

Supplements

Not essential, and also another budget concern. Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor wouldn’t normal suggest spending your hard-earned / hard-embezzled cash on such things, but the following 2 supplements truly are the real deal, and will add great gains on the path to Asgardian glory.

Creatine phosphate: imaginatively named, eh? Remember ATP? Creatine phosphate, (CP), turns up and ‘lends’ ADP its one and only phosphate, restarting the whole cycle again. There is roughly 3.5 and 4 grams of CP stored per kilogram of skeletal muscle, but this is used up in a matter of seconds during intense physical exertion. By supplementing CP, you can get an extra few seconds of oomph when pounding the iron. It doesn’t sound like much on paper but it makes a massive difference to anaerobic metabolism. Supplemented CP must be cycled, however, as with everything the body produces itself, if it is coming in artificially it will cease its own production. EEK.

The optimum cycle of CP supplementation is 9 weeks on and 3 weeks off. Powdered form is the best absorbed into the skeletal muscles. Remember to look out for the health food store sales.

Glutamine: Basically, whenever your body needs to make a repair, glutamine is the prime amino acid it goes to for most chores. When any part of your body needs healing, say from a cut, recovery from a hangover, sleep deprivation, and especially hard training regimes; its glutamine that gets taken straight from the muscles, reducing strength, unless there is some spare via supplementation. Glutamine is almost essential, it will have you regenerating like Wolverine. Sweet.

He speaks truthfully. Vote, beloved reader, for the next designer Superhero workout.

That’s right, beloved reader, I want you to leave a comment on this post, email me or post on Level Up’s Facebook page, which designer Superhero workout you want to see next. Bring it on, y’all.

Many happy returns, last son of Krypton, but take it easy blowing out the candles on your cake, eh.

The story of Superman is the story of Truth, Justice, and The American Way. He is a symbol of hope and . He will always be an American Icon.

Sometimes people think of Superman as a god or an angel, in some cases this is not far from the truth. Superman’s birth name Kal-El is similar to Hebrew meaning ‘Vessel of God’. The suffix ‘el meaning ‘God’ is shared with a few angels such as Gabriel and Uriel.

Makes sense really, the 2 gentlemen are responsible for his fictional existence are Jewish after all.

This is the kind of amazing art work you can expect from the mighty Jim Lee. who had already won over my larcenous heart when he did the art for the X-Men in the 90’s.

Never mind Kal-El‘s ice breath inconveniencing a bunch of party free-loaders and Hebrew trivia. What’s he been doing for 75 freakin’ years?

Superman unchained issue 2. Pleasing to the eye is an understatement.

Superman has been protecting Metropolis for 75 years now and he is celebrating his birthday with a new title by DC Comics; Superman Unchained

Warning: plot spoiler!

When 13 satellites fall from the sky in one day, the logical suspect is Lex Luthor, never mind the fact that the bald genius is firmly behind bars. The last satellite targeted to fall was stopped, avoiding catastrophe. Thus, if Superman didn’t stop the last satellite from falling, then who did?

Who else but the caped Kryptonian has the power to thwart such disaster? My initial guess would be Batman. He is the man after all.

Sorry Kal-El, it’s your birthday, therefore it’s your show. There’s more than just the usual hyperbolic action you’d expect. A decades old mystery haunts Superman every step of the way.

Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor strongly recommends that you don’t miss the debut of the newest Superman shenanigans, brought to you by 2 of the comic industries rock stars Scott Snyder and the invincible Jim Lee.

The first issue will also includes a bonus two-sided, tipped-in poster measuring that is part of the reading experience and can be easily removed for display! Bonus.

For those of you who missed out on free comic book day at Forbidden Planet, I managed to get this gem. Just thought I’d gloat about that.

Superman’s success is partly owed to his unique origin story as an infant from the planet Krypton too many light years away to count.

The S symbol emblazoned upon Superman’s chest had only meant Superman, like the way a primary school student writes their name on their stuff. As both character and storylines developed, it became the Kryptonian symbol for Hope and according to the Kryptonian alphabet it can also simply mean the letter ‘s’. Upside down the symbol takes on the new meaning of Resurrection.

Resurrection apparently.

Real Kryptonian name Kal-El, was just a baby when his planet was dying, and in a selfless act of parenting was sent to Earth. He landed in Kansas on a farm in Smallville.

He was discovered by Jonathan and Martha Kent, and after a display of freakish strength involving their automobile, decided to raise him as their own child, rather than more realistically running for their very lives away from a supers strong toddler from outer space. Adopted by the Kents he also took their name as his own to integrate into this new strange society.

Action Comics No. 1, published on April 18, 1938, marked Superman’s comic book debut. He’s been hefting cars aloft since a very young age. Mayhaps counselling is required.

Superman may be surrounded by Batman, (who I must point out has decked Superman twice and saved his life 8 times. They are on first name terms), Spider Man, the incredible Hulk’ Thor etc. but back then he was one of a kind, the world’s first ever Superhero, thus making him the template for all our beloved super powered characters we have today.

Siegel and Shuster originally created a bald telepathic villain named The Superman, hell bent on world domination. The character warranted an appearance in The Reign of the Super-Man in Siegel’s fanzine Science Fiction issue 3 in 1933. This evil version of our birthday boy did not impress the masses.

Wondering where he had gone wrong, he revamped the character over and over until in 1934 he had an epiphany, and we have our Superman. Yay.

Siegel and Shuster then began a 6-year mission to find a publisher. Titling it The Superman, they presented it to Consolidated Book Publishing. Although the duo received an encouraging letter, Consolidated never again published comic books. Shuster took this to heart and had his own private book burning party, during his tantrum. The character survives today only because Siegel managed rescued the cover from the fire.

Superman has changed a little over the past 75 years, but without Siegel frying his hand to retrieve the last scrap of Kal-El’s existence he wouldn’t be here today.

As part of the deal which saw Superman published in Action Comics, Siegel and Shuster sold the rights to the company in return for $130 and a contract to supply the publisher with material.

The readers of Action comics were so enamoured with the Kryptonian do-gooder, that DC had little choice but to grant him his very own comic. And about freakin’ time. Initially Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster wrote the story and produced the art for all the strips published.

However, Shuster’s eyesight began to deteriorate, corrupting his usually excellent work. Shuster then established a studio to with a full complement of staff to assist in the production of the art, although Joe Shuster insisted on drawing Superman’s face in every issue the studio produced. In 1945, Superboy made his debut in More Fun Comics 101. The character moved to Adventure Comics in 1946, and then finally his own title, Superboy, was launched in 1949.

The 1950s the extra characters we know and adore began to show their illustrated faces Jimmy Olsen (1954) and Lois Lane (1958). The comics popularity was such that in 1948 Kirk Alyn played Superman in a show series that lasted for only 15 episodes and was screened exclusively in movie theatres.

There was a movie sequel in 1950 called Atom Man Vs Superman

On screen Superhero entertainment has come a long way since the 50’s.

In June 1951, George Reeves was offered the lead role in The Adventures of Superman TV series. At first reeves was reluctant to take the role, he felt that theatre was more important, and like many actors of the era, that this new fangled TV gadgetry was a fad, and not enough people wouldn’t see his work.

Eventually he was convinced and / or conned into it and donned the iconic cape and briefs from 1952 to 1958.

Reeves’ first role as Superman was the movie / pilot episode Superman and the Mole Men, was intended to screen as a B-movie. Immediately after completing it, Reeves and the crew began production of the first season’s episodes, all shot over 13 weeks in the summer of 1951.

He was given low pay and only during production time. Each 30 minute episode was produced to a tight schedule, the bosses wanted it churned out cheap and fast. They made a minimum of 2 shows within 6 days, multiple scripts would be filmed at the same time, taking advantage of the standing sets, so that all the scenes for set in one particular location; Such as Perry White’s office would be filmed for 3 or 4 episodes consecutively. The continuity personnel had the hardest job making the shows.

A fine example of mightiness. F**k doors when you can just walk through walls like you were in a traditional Japanese house.

The entire filming of the first season’s episodes took only 13 weeks to produce. Reeves was surprised at his doubts about playing Superman on TV, he was becoming a national celebrity and in 1957 ABC Network purchased the show, giving him greater exposure and more fame.

As his popularity grew, he was offered appearances on radio and TV to be interviewed, these extra earrings meant he could live comfortably, rather than slumming it on the pathetic wage he got from filming Superman.

His affection for his fans was genuine, an he would always take time to chat and sign autographs for fans, he took the mantle of Superman seriously, molding himself into a role model became very important to him. After 2 seasons, Reeves was dissatisfied with the awful working conditions and the atrociously low salary.

He had just turned 40 years old and wished to quit and move on with his career. The producers looked elsewhere for a new star, contacting Kirk Alyn, he turned them down. No decent actor wants to work in such poor conditions and be paid a pittance.

“It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Superman”

Original Broadway Cast Recording promotional poster.

March 29th 1966 Broadway saw Superman on stage in the Alvin theatre. The plot revolved around Superman’s efforts to defeat Dr. Abner Sedgwick, a ten-time Nobel Prize-losing scientist who sought vengeance on the scientific world’s dismissal of his brilliance by attempting to destroy the world’s symbol of good.

Additionally, Superman comes into romantic conflict with Max Mencken, a columnist for the Daily Planet newspaper, who resents Lois Lane’s attraction to Superman. The title of the theatrical rendition is where the iconic catchphrase was born.

TV special, and yes, beloved reader, it was awful

There have been a lot less emo looking Superman actors.

“It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Superman” was insulted by an abysmal straight to TV adaptation on February 1975. The show was significantly shortened and the script was changed to dire and predictable dialogue. The sound of the musical score was mutilated in an attempt to appeal to the 1970’s sensibility.

Broadcast on the ABC network under its Wide World of Entertainment late-night slot, ( i.e late night bored unemployed people’s entertainment), it received poor critical reception.

It starred David Wilson as Superman/Clark Kent, Lesley Ann Warren as Lois Lane, Loretta Swit as Sydney Carlton, David Wayne as Dr. Abner Sedgwick, Allen Ludden as Perry White, and Kenneth Mars as Max Mencken. Don’t see much of those actors any more, eh.

The Death of a Superman

Please note, this is not an actual crime scene photo.

The Los Angeles Police Department filed a report, between approximately 1:30 and 2:00 a.m. on June 16, 1959, George Reeves had died of a gunshot wound to the head his home in Benedict Canyon. Present in the house at the time were Leonore Lemmon, (his fiancee), William Bliss,writer Richard Condon, and Carol Van Ronkel. Police arrived within the hour.

There has been much speculation as to whether or not it was suicide. Many of George Reeves family, friends and fans refused to believe he would kill himself and have pointed out that no gunpowder from the weapon’s discharge was discovered on Reeves’ corpse; indicating that the gun would have been pointed at least several inches away from his face.

However, the gun was too thickly coated in oil to hold fingerprints, making circumstances even more suspicious and gunshot-residue testing was not commonly performed by the Los Angeles Police Department in 1959.

Christopher Reeve, the most recognisable Superman. R.I.P

Reeves wasn’t a Superman fan, nor was he into comics, though he had watched Adventures of Superman starring George Reeves; so he knew to a fair extent what the character was all about. Being an actor that liked a challenging role though, Reeve thought the role with it’s dual identities offered a suitable challenge.

“there must be some difference stylistically between Clark and Superman. Otherwise, you just have a pair of glasses standing in for a character.” Christopher Reeve.

Budding actors, take note. Now.

When Reeve took on the task of becoming the Man of Steel, he really rose to the challenge. He was already a well-rounded athlete in various sports, although they were mostly cardiovascular fitness orientated. Thus, he was lean but not Kryptonian buff.

He refused to wear fake muscles under the suit, he would not resort to such meagre measures, so he sought advice and supervised training from former British weightlifting champion David Prowse, who is the colossal gentleman who donned Darth Vader’s duds on the set of the Star Wars films.

Weightlifting champ. Made Superman buff and he is Vader. Not a man to be messed with.

Needless to say, the workouts were intense and productive, resulting in an added thirty pounds, (14 kg), of muscle to his thin 189 pound, (86 kg), frame. A lot of the footage seen in Superman 2 used the exact same film set as the first film, Superman II was filmed at the same time as the first film.

He pumped up even more for Superman III (1983), though for some ill-informed reason in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) his focus was on the cardiovascular fitness, losing much of the iconic Superman muscular look.

The Actual death of Superman

Doomsaday is not to be f**ked with as Superman finds out the hard way.

In 1992 DC released The Death of Superman crossing over all of DC Comics’ 4 Superman titles. An unstoppable killing machine called Doomsday. Of course this results in hyperbolic fisticuffs that are off the scale. Any scale. At the fight’s conclusion, Superman defeats Doomsday, but then slowly dies in the arms of Lois Lane from his own injuries. That’s right beloved reader, Doomsday is one of the very few that can harm the last son of Krypton. Fear him.

The funeral that followed was attended by many of Superman’s fellow heroes and friends, including most of the Justice League of America, and a a mausoleum was built in Metropolis in honor of the Man of Steel.

During this time, every hero in the DC Universe, (even Guy Gardner and Green Arrow, neither of whom had ever personally gotten along with him), sported a black arm band featuring the S-Shield logo, out of respect. Superman’s body was stolen from his mausoleum, which had been ironically provided by his longtime foe Lex Luthor, by Project Cadmus .

It was hypothesized that they were attempting to clone him. The body was recovered by Lois Lane and clone him. The story was also collected into trade paperback titled World Without Superman.

Reign of the Supermen

The characters are largely arrogant twats but the action figures are groovy.

After a 3 month pause on all the Superman titles, they were relaunched. Four new ‘heroes’ crawled out of the wood works in attempt to take Superman’s place, one in each title, all of them staking a claim to be Superman. Each of the ‘Supermen’ were designed with ideas taken from some of the monikers that Superman is often associated with. The four new heroes were:

The Man of Steel: John Henry Irons was an ironworker and an ex-weapons designer for the military who wears a suit of armor and wields a hammer. Of the four, he is the only one who did not claim the name of Superman. Instead he vowed to carry on the spirit of Superman and continued his legacy. He later changed his name to simply Steel. How very 80’s.

The Man of Tomorrow: also called the Cyborg Superman, arrived with augmented Kryptonian technology. He was scientifically ‘proven’ to be Superman, but claims amnesia in explanation to his part-mechanical nature. It transpired that he was a former NASA astronaut Hank Henshaw. Later he became a major supervillain.

The Metropolis Kid: Who hated being called Superboy, (teenagers and their hormones, eh), is a reckless teenage clone of Superman. Of the three ‘Supermen’ with super powers, he was the only one that did not claim to be the real one. He is the result of the brief time Project Cadmus attempted to clone Superman.

The Last Son of Krypton: Was a visored, energy-powered alien who dealt with criminals lethally. The Last Son of Krypton appeared in Action Comics. He claims to have the memories of the original Superman, but his emotional distance makes Lois uncertain. He later was discovered to be the original Superman, a reformed Superman enemy.

Superman Returns

Brandon Routh as Superman.

In 2006 the long anticipated Superman Returns hit the cinema; screen directed and produced by Bryan Singer. Following on from of Superman 1 and 2, but thankfully ignoring the events 3 and 4. It tells the story of Superman returning to Earth after a 5 years.

He finds that Lois Lane has moved on with her life, what did he expect? He didn’t even write, not even a post card. Lex Luthor is still at a midway-point-destroy-the-world-plan, (just for a change), intent to start with the US-of A. It’s a hobby I suppose. The movie was a flop. Nuff said.

Man of Steel

Looking good thus far, eh?

Cinemas on Friday 14th June 2013 will be screening Man of Steel in the UK. Produced by Christopher Nolan, (who did an awesome job with the latest Batman movies), directed by Zack Snyder and scripted by David S. Goyer, this film should be incredible.

Starring Henry Cavill in the title role, it reboots the Superman franchise, telling the tale of Kal-El’s origins. with Amy Adams as Lois Lane, Michael Shannon as General Zod, Diane Lane as Martha Kent, Kevin Costner as Jonathan Kent, Laurence Fishburne as Perry White and Russell Crowe as Jor-El. An all-star cast, there is no reason for this movie to suck, and hopefully leading to DC hitting back at Marvel eventually with a Justice League movie.

The Superman Curse refers to a superstition, (unfortunate sequence of coincidences), based on a series of accidents, maimings and deaths involved in adaptations of Superman. Particularly ‘cursed’ are the actors who have actually played the role of our hero in nice red briefs.

This so-called ‘curse’ began with George Reeves, who died of a gunshot wound at age 45 under suspicious circumstances; and Christopher Reeves became paralyzed in a 1995 horseback riding accident, and died nine years later at age 52. That event actually made your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor cry.

More actors have been ‘slag-tagged’ with the alleged ‘curse’

Margot Kidder: who played Lois Lane in the Christopher Reeves movies, endured bipolar disorder. She was discovered by police in a paranoid and delusional state in April 1996.

Richard Pryor: The talented comedian, who had previously suffered illegal drug addiction, which led to a near fatal suicide attempt. 3 years later, he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He died of cardiac arrest on December 10, 2005 at the age of 65.

Bud Collyer, Lee Quigley, Kirk Alyn, and Reeves widow Dana Reeve are also considered to have been affected by this ‘curse’.

That’s an upsetting Way to end this, up-until-now rather relevant Kryptonian essay. Why Rogue Advisor? Why sadden your ‘beloved reader’ in such a manner

There are many very cool Superman animated movies and series out there. The best ones of course being when he teams up with Batman.Who is way cooler.Sorry Kal-El, birthday or not, facts are facts.

Superman Animation

We’ve already covered Superman Doomsday, but there are many more: His team ups with Batman, (That’s a story for another post), His role in the Justice League animated series, and good selection of stand alone movies. See below for hyperbolic satisfaction, from the well plotted Superman Vs the Elite.

I’ll leave you with the inspirational words of indisputable wisdom from the late great Christopher reeves.