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Nick Clegg sings lonely lament in protest against isolationism

Following a bitterly disappointing disengagement by David Cameron from a central role at the EU negotiation table, Nick Clegg has staged a one man protest against the UK’s isolation in Europe.

‘It is crucially important that the UK is a key player in the debates and negotiations of the European Union,’ said Nick Clegg from his lonely bedroom, ‘The only reason I entered politics was to actively and fully engage in debates about the central issues of the day. I did not want to storm out of the debate in a teenage tantrum, just like David did. In protest against his decision I did the only thing that I could do: sit in my room, alone, listening to my favourite music, while everyone else talked about things in the House of Commons.’