Last night, I had a middle-aged Scottish woman gyrating on top of me in the centre of a whooping audience of 130 people. Earlier in the week, I made up an audience-of-one for the strangest show in town as I sat bound and blindfolded while being wheeled around a dark basement - with strangers caressing and feeding me before a woman pushed me on to a bed and stretched out on top of me.

Adelaide - a now colourful, cosmopolitan capital - has been fondly nicknamed the 'the 20-minute city' - with everything from the rugged coastlines to great hills located just a short drive from the centre.

Alcohol has done so much for me. So many objects and people set on fire, so many traffic cones and shopping trolley races, so many kebabs, and even a few pretty girls. So many wonderful, hazy memories.