My name is Nicole. I'm 30 years old and live in germany. This is going to be my little space where I share all my thoughts on books that I have read. English books will get a english review. German books get an english and german review if the book is available in english.

Before I tell you more about the book I want to mention a few trigger warnings, just in case a few things about the book will be bad for you. There is drug abuse, there is mention of sexual assault and there is bullying involved in the story. So be careful of that.

So let's start with the review. There are some spoilers. I couldn't review this book without giving some things away (cause I would have exploded if I couldn't get all my thoughts out).

The book is about Hope. She lives in a pretty small town where everybody knows her story. Her brother, a guy who was pretty good at hockey, turned into a meth addict. Things at home are not that great because of that. She tries to help him out without her parents finding out. She then gets the chance to go to a boarding school. She is really excited to have a new start, where people don't know what or who her brother is. She's kind of torn between being friends with her roomate, Cassie, or a bunch of girls who call themselves 'Ravens'. And trouble starts.

This book is frustrating but it's beautiful at the same time, cause it feels super real.

Hope made some choices in the book that just made me shake my head, at the same time I know people like that, so that's something that made her real to me. She tries so hard to help and care for her brother, being there whenever he needs her. It didn't surprise me at all when she jumped into the relationship with Devon, even if it was just online. And even though I didn't understand how you can someone pictures like that when you have never seen him face to face, I could understand her desperation to just have someone that she felt she could talk to and that she was scared that he would leave her. That being sad. Kids, don't send nude pics to someone you have never seen in person before. Don't. I know you want to believe that the world is full of good and honest people, but it's not. On that note let's also mention, that even though it's the internet. Don't pretend to be someone else, get someone to like or love you and betray this person in the end. It's not nice. It's not cute. It's rude. It's mean and it's making you are horrible person.

Eric. Her brother. I'm full of emotions about him. I'm not here to justife his choices, cause let's be real. Drugs don't solve problems, they make even more. But, once again, I understood why he did the things he did. After being assaulted by a man that wasn't just a coach but kinda like a father figure to him, there are so many ways his story could've gone and for him it was meth that at least for a while put his mind at ease.

In the end, I'm happy where both characters ended up. Hope is still at school. Instead of just packing her bags and run back home, like she originally planned, she's standing up for herself and shows how strong she really is. For me she is really one of these characters that actually doesn't realize how strong she is. She took care of her brother. Tried and failed to begin a new life at school. With the Ravens and her brother showing up. And also Eric. I'm so glad that he got help and that he told what happened to him, instead of getting the revenge he planned to have. They both are not in a perfect place but I feel like things are getting better for them.

All of that being sad. I really enjoyed the writing, the switches between Hope and Eric's POV. And I LOVED the poems that Hope wrote. That was a really sweet touch to the whole book that she found a way to express herself in these poems and that they helped her through all of it.

I wasn't ready to give this book a full 5 stars yet. But it's pretty close. It's definitly one of the books that will stick with me for a while.

Also the cover!!!!! I requested the book because of the cover. What else is new. But it worked out this time.