Still surreal really, he was fit as a fiddle only a few days agoWoke up crying this morning but got out of bed early even though I was tired because my brain would be in overdrive

Kept busy with personal stuff I needed to catch up on, family stuff and also we had the funeral arrangements to get done which alone took a couple of hours. I’ve taken his dog in. Went got a photo printed and bought a frame for displaying in the church. Just busy really

Apart from the funeral I won’t be boozing with family, I’m sure you all recall the “Jeremy Kyle situation” thread from only a few weeks ago where my brother tried to evict my dad or make him take in lodgers... that whole situation hasn’t gone away for me, in fact my brother has got his wish now..

Apart from standing up for my Dad in that argument I hadn’t spoke my 2 of my brothers in 18 months, they got right jealous when I got myself the job in Shetland. Never a single text to see how I was or how my wife was back home on her own. That hasn’t gone away for me either.

I told my sister I’ll be civil with them for this week but when it’s over I’m finished with them.

tomorrow we are going to see him in the funeral home, Monday I’ll go buy a suit and we have his reposal in the funeral home in the evening and Tuesday is the funeral.

I’ll have a few drinks at home tonight as usual

Apart from my sisters family and maybe my younger brothers family in small doses but the other 2 can fuck off now

Think about your brothers later, they are not worth your headspace at this point. Your wife, sister, son and yourself and friends and loved ones of your dad, that's where your attention deserves to be imho for what it's worth.

Yeah I’ll be civil and get through the next few days but then it’ll be a return to how things were last week.

Even in the last few days I’ve withdrawn myself from being with them too much or conversing or getting friendly, maybe my sister did and if she wants to reconcile that’s up to her. I’ll put up with it for my dad but when the point comes when I no longer need to put up with it I’ll bow out quietly. Kicking up would play into their hands and that’s the last thing I want to do

I’ve gotten myself into some state here tbh Blood is boiling how I’m going to keep it together I don’t know. The thoughts of spending 2 hours tonight at his reposal in the same room as my brothers and watching their false grief and listen to people sympathizing with them. Things like people saying “he only bought a new car” and knowing that he only spent the money on it so my brother couldn’t get it.

Then there’ll be the sorting out of his things. He wasn’t tidy by any means so going through his stuff and finding what’s important and what should be binned will be a chore. But essentially it’d be tidying out the house for my brother to move someone else in. We’ve already found in his pocket a bank receipt for my brothers account for the higher rate of rent he was demanding, that’s where he was when this all happened.

The funeral tomorrow I can deal with, I’ll just stay as far away as I can.