m

Why Not To

Find Out

Gender

I told Indy, for the first time yesterday, as she whined and I cooked dinner that ‘patience is a virtue’.

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I just opened my mouth and my mum came out!

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However, in many ways, patience is a bit old school these days; we don’t really have to wait for anything: food, fashion, Love Island… or, even, finding out what gender our babies are.

And we were all yellow..

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I suppose, patience is probably overrated. There is something to be said for a quickie.

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So, if you’re a need-to-know kind of person, a planner, a worrier or someone who just wants to find out whether to throw or keep all the pretty little dresses: I get it. I will support you and be delighted to tuck into a lovely pink cupcake at your baby shower.

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However, personally, here’s why I’m glad we’re staying team yellow.

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The most stated reason for not finding out is that there are very few surprises left in life. I don’t buy this one though. It’s a surprise whenever you find out.

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However, the euphoria of giving birth (no scrub that, of having given birth (‘thank TEA AND TOAST that watermelon is out of me’) coupled with finding out whether you have a son or a daughter (I think) is one of the most perfectly unscripted moments of life. And that is rare.

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Someone told me not knowing helps you through labour. I’m sure it’s a load of baloney but, y’know, I WILL LITERALLY TRY ANYTHING!

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It makes for good conversation… I love all the old wives tales folk use to tell baby's gender when you don’t know, like whether your ring spins or swings over bump, whether you have heartburn or morning sickness, what month you conceived.

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At the end of the day it’s 50/50, so you’re not going to get a good deal at Ladbrokes but it’s fun to guess.

I don’t really like the idea that pink is for girls and blue is for boys (I guess it’s the postmodern feminist in me). In fact, I don’t like gender being given any particular colour.

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If you think about it, it’s a bit weird and most likely to be a marketing ploy.

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Plus, not knowing the gender means your mounds of baby clothes will work for any siblings that come along. I mostly wore my brother's clothes growing up and I’m perfectly normal (?)

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Not knowing means there’s no chance of an, er, cock up.

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Technology is amazing and sonographers are magicians, but it is a fact that baby doesn’t always play ball.

I have met a surprising amount of people who have found out they’re having a girl, only to meet their son in the delivery room.

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There’s less chance of that happening once the baby has been born. Unless you're asking my husband, who questioned whether Indy was a conker … (he may have been at the gas and air).

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And, finally, because it doesn’t really matter.

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I’d love this baby to be a girl or a boy (to the millionth person that’s said ‘yes, but it would be better if it was a boy wouldn’t it?’). Either way we feel lucky to be having any child.

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Plus, if they take after their dad then they’re more than likely to be a monkey anyway.

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Of course, there is no right or wrong way. Human curiosity is natural and it is a scientific(ish) fact that time slows down for pregnant people. The weeks in between my midwife appointments to hearing Small's heartbeat feel like nine months in themselves so I understand why others just can't wait.

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Either way, I guess we’re lucky to have a choice, both in whether we find our the gender of our baby and the colour we paint the nursery! And yellow suits us just fine.