Musings and stories from a 40-something year old slut newbie

kissing

Work has been pretty busy lately and I’ve had a fair amount of stress, so I’ve taken a teeny tiny step back to try to have some fun (I’m writing this between paperwork I have to finish for my real life and work). I had a surprisingly good date/sex on Wednesday and on Thursday a guy that had grabbed my interest asked about meeting up. In retrospect (after last night’s date), I’m not sure what it was that I found all that interesting about him. But I had a good gut feel that we would get along. He was new to online dating and said I was the first person he had even talked to. We agreed on last night and even tho we were meeting a little later than my morning-self likes to meet (only 8:30, but I’m not a night person!), I didn’t want to reschedule I wanted to meet.

I told him the part of the city I live in and he suggested my favorite nearby bar, so that seemed to be a good sign. I got there a couple min before him, found a seat at the bar, and was a little nervous. He had asked me out before he saw my face (my online pics don’t show my face) and I was a little nervous that after he saw my pics, maybe he didn’t know how to say “I’m not interested” (not that I get that a lot, but it happens, and that’s fine – we’re talking about sex. We need to be attracted to each other). And in his pics, he looks pretty hot, had a great job, and all around seemed like a guy with options. So when he walked in and after the initial introduction, immediately said “you look good”, I kind of breathed a sigh of relief. Conversation was easy and, being the awful flirt that I am (or think I am), I was trying to make some contact with my knee against his leg, but I wasn’t getting much physical touch in return, so I was slightly concerned. But then he suggested we take it to another bar (my favorite was oddly loud), so we decided to go to my 2nd favorite bar down the street. It was already late-ish (for me), like 10:30, but I was really enjoying myself.

I *assumed* he was into me when we were going to the next bar…but it was raining, he didn’t make any attempt to touch me, and I was telling him this story of a bad date where he asked me on a 2nd that interested me in topic, but not in company, and he started to say we should do the date in question…and then stopped himself and just said “you should go do that sometime.” So, mixed signals. But then when we got to the next bar, he became a little more clear. My sundress had a small opening at the low back that he kept touching and when I told him I had never seen Game of Thrones, he invited me to watch it with him any time. So at this point, the question for me was just whether he was going to feel comfortable with sex on a first date or, being new to internet dating, would feel he had to wait. We had a drink and decided to leave, which I was fine with as it was 11:30 or so, but I also was really enjoying talking with him and flirting with him and didn’t want the night to end. (Which, again, weird for me. I like to be asleep by 11:30)

We stepped out of the bar and it was pouring. He asked me what I wanted to do and I said “I don’t mind getting wet”, he agreed, so we started walking towards my place holding hands. And he finally kissed me. I was kind of waiting for it at bar 2, but it was pretty perfect in the rain. He was a very gentle kisser and I started thinking what his lips would feel like elsewhere…along the way, we stopped a few more times to make out and he commented how hot I looked in my dress (at this point, it was totally soaked and clinging everywhere…and I wasn’t wearing a bra).

I still didn’t know if he’d come in when we got to my place, but he made a joke about getting out of his wet clothes and I said “maybe you should”, so…that was that. It was decided.

Of course my dogs and cats decided last night was the night they all wanted cuddles, but he had a good attitude about it and the sex was still hot. Unlike my usual M/O, I had not discussed with him any particular sexual interests, so I was going into it more blind than usual. Pretty much right away, he dove into ass play (pretty literally), which I do love, and he was great at it. So when he asked if I wanted him to fuck my ass, I said yes (which I haven’t done since my 4some). And…it was amazing. He was very good at it and I came pretty quickly. Then we moved along to fucking and oral and more fucking….and finally I had to tell him I was exhausted…so he got dressed into his wet clothes and I decided to stay naked…I was helping him find his socks as he was waiting for the uber, walking ahead of him when he bent me over my bed and started licking me again and then started fucking me and had to cancel his uber. It was pretty hot. And since I have a long-standing issue of feeling self-conscious about my ass, I liked hearing from him that my ass just looked too delicious and he needed more time with it (he also talked more about how perfect my boobs are, but I’ve never worried that guys don’t like my chest). So, eventually he actually got an uber and left, we talked about doing this again, I’ve given him my number, we’ve exchanged “last night was fun” texts today…

I still can’t figure out why I thought I’d like him, but it was probably one of the best nights I’ve had in awhile. I am ridiculously tired today, but it was totally worth it.

A week or so again, OKC alerted me that someone had liked my profile. Normally I can’t see likes on OKC b/c I don’t pay for the service, but once in awhile, OKC wants me to know about one. And once in awhile, I actually look. And once in awhile, I’m actually interested. And sometimes out of that, the person messages me after I like them back. This was one of those times.

Nerd Boy looked Hot AF in his pics. Like the type of guy who can wear eyeliner and makeup and look hot (not that he was…but I could see it). And we seemed to really hit it off my messaging. It was clear he had his choice of women, so I had certain expectations…and then he kind of blew all of them up by letting me know he was into comic books, D&D, and bowling. Um…huh? But I kind of like that. Hot normal guys are fun, but boring. Hot nerdy guy? Bring it on.

We met early on Saturday b/c he had to be up insanely early on Sunday. I got to the bar a couple minutes before him and was not at all disappointed when he walked in. However, I don’t know about our chemistry. It was pretty comfortable, lots of laughing, but there was something that seemed like it was preventing full on chemistry. And yet…when he kissed me it was a great great kiss. It just worked. So we did end up going back to my place where we had really really great sex. But…there was that piece that just seemed to be holding back animalistic sex. Was it lack of chemistry? Lack of trust? I don’t know. I do know I really enjoyed him. And I do know that I thought he was hot AF. And the average hotness of guys I have fucked recently has been pretty damn high. (Oddly, the less I have time to give a shit about getting ready to meet someone, the hotter the partners are for sex…hmmm)

So again, I don’t know if we’ll fuck again. I’m happy if we do. Fine if we don’t. I do have a supposed 3some with the super hot bi guy lined up, so maybe that will play out this week.

And, btw, as a woman who allows myself to be used as a sex object on MY terms (terms that have nothing to do with food), fuck Pence and his fucking attitude that women can’t dine with men. That’s just discrimination. And if I want to fuck someone, food is not necessary (when was the last time I fucked after a meal? I don’t even know). I’m smarter than most men I work with and have to work twice as hard because men support each other and not women as much…but at least most of those men have the decency not to treat me like all I am is a vagina.

Yesterday morning I traveled about 2 1/2 hours to speak to a group about activism in the Post-Trump World. Then I went home and fucked a Trump voter…sigh…(and then someone after that).

After Wednesday, I decided to get in touch with Trump Hat Guy about a 3some with the super hot bi guy who was part of Wednesday. THG was into being fucked by a hot guy with a nice cock and, well, super hot bi guy is about as good as it’s going to get for that. And since I prefer bi MMFs…and super hot bi guy was into the idea, decided to reach out.

THG was moderately in touch for a couple days, but annoyingly uncommunicative. Then yesterday on my way back from the group, I got a text from him. He was interested in the 3some…but he wanted to see me and hang out with me before anything with a 3rd. I had plans last night with someone I was actually interested in meeting, which I told him…he said he would come over before that if I’d let him. I was skeptical, as he *never* has ever shown up on time. and I didn’t have a lot of time, so…I didn’t see how that would work. But I told him if he was at my place at 5, I would give him an hour or so.

And he actually showed up at 5:01 (I’ll take it). He walked in the door and we just started kissing. It didn’t feel like it had been 6-7 months. It felt like we had just seen each other. And of course we were fucking and then naked (yes, we didn’t even really wait) within minutes. After, we talked for like an hour or so. I emphasized that I don’t want the drama we’ve had…I can’t do it. He said he gets that and he promises it will be better. I’m still, of course, wary. And I told him it would take me time to believe that to be the case. He said he understood…and he was also excited that I might go fuck someone else after him if I liked the guy.

After a long day and being well fucked by THG, I wasn’t that into getting ready to go meet the new guy, who I’ll call ex-Hollywood Guy. But he had interested me. He was only 25, looked super hot, and seemed very cool. But I DID want to meet him, so I sucked it up and got dressed (I didn’t shower again…oops). I got there a couple min before him, texted him where I was and when he showed up, he was hotter than I expected and more charming. Within minutes he was telling me that I was much hotter than my pics and the first person he had met who was. So we had a drink, flirted, and then went back to my place. He was a fantastic kisser, fantastic with his hands…the sex was a little bit less natural than it sometimes is. I don’t know if that was us, his age showing, or just that I’d just been with someone I had a very comfortable sexual vibe with. After sex, we talked a bit and then he said he’d let me go to sleep (I was grateful)…and I texted THG to let him know that yes, I had fucked the other guy, and he seemed turned on.

So, while some people might be like “omg, you fucked 2 guys in a day, back to back!”, I kind of don’t see that as a big deal. I’m more weirded out that I still have a connection with THG…so we’ll see what plays out. Hopefully I’ll get that bi mmf with him tho…

Lately I haven’t really been in the mood to leave the house much when I don’t have to. Part of it has been being insanely busy. Part of it is a new puppy. And tonight was one of those nights where I ran through all the reasons I could come up with to cancel, but since it was a guy I was genuinely curious about meeting and we were meeting early, I couldn’t come up with something. From his pics, I couldn’t tell if he’d be hot or not. He was one of those people who look either hot af or weird and nothing in between in his pics. So I walked in 2 min late and he was right by the door…but my glasses had fogged up so it took me a minute to actually see him. And he was much closer to hot af than weird (he really needs to curate his pics better). He was only 6 years younger than me, which is usually a bad age for me (I do better with 10+ years younger), but the conversation was as easy in person as it had been by message and I was pretty sure he was into me…but we’d kind of talked about by message that I like it when a guy just goes for a kiss on a date. It shows confidence (it can also be very bad, but I figure if I give the explicit permission if I’m still there, it’s a little different than a random date with a stranger). And he agreed…but we finished our drinks and he asked if I wanted another and he hadn’t kissed me. So I was admittedly a little confused.

Conversation was still good…and finally, an hour and a half after we met up, he said something like “i guess I should have done this awhile ago” and he kissed me. And the kiss was great..one of those “I don’t want it to end kisses”. We were done with our 2nd drink, so I just figured I’d invite him back to my place (he accepted). Annnddd. We definitely had chemistry. My bed ended up completely soaked and I liked how assertive he was once he knew (I guess) that I was interested. I’m pretty sure I’ll see him again.

So, yeah. Leaving my place can be a good thing. If I’m going to continue saving the world like I’ve been doing (or trying to) lately, I need some time to just indulge myself like this.

I need to remember all these benefits of leaving the house next time I don’t want to meet someone…

I have been kind of off dating/sex for a few weeks. Trump Hat Guy ghosted and I had a few no shows. Then I was traveling a lot and didn’t want to deal…but in the past couple weeks, I’ve felt more open to meeting people again. I started messaging today’s date, I’ll call him…Cat b/c his name is actually one of my cat’s names (my cats have human names). So, Cat and I started messaging Friday or so last week when I was traveling. At first it was that stilted boring messaging, but I mentioned that I thought straight-ish guys having sex was super hot…and the next day he messaged me to tell me about the night before when he met up with a guy and had, well, hot sex. Of course this piqued my interest. What can I say…I like what I like. And the messaging sort of continued from there. We were really just clicking…sexually, but also just I liked our communication vibe. I was out of town last weekend, so we finally met today. I think I had expectations…we’d clicked so well, but you never know.

I actually went over to his place and we went for a walk, grabbed some Bloody Mary’s, and it was all comfortable. I didn’t feel insane chemistry, but I liked him. He isn’t exactly my type, but he was cute. And I certainly wasn’t unattracted. Over Bloody Mary’s, he told me that he had been in a bad motorcycle accident. I asked if he still had any issues with it…and that’s when I learned his leg was actually amputated. Hadn’t even noticed (and weirdly, after talking to him for an hour or two, and several hours of sex, I only AFTER noticed he was missing a couple fingers on one hand). Anyway, that’s not really a big deal, just interesting.

We went back to his place and were just hanging out with drinks. I was thinking…I like talking to him, but so far, despite very explicit conversations, he’s not making any moves. I was wondering what the deal was. But then when he came back from grabbing another drink, he started kissing me. And it was hot. It was like, instant physical compatibility. It just worked. Eventually we got to his bedroom and I don’t even know what happened, but it was the best sex I’ve had in close to a year. Everything just worked. I even found a new type of orgasm…it was kind of like a g spot orgasm, but I just kept cumming and cumming for 5-10 minutes at least. And his bed was beyond soaked. Toys were involved, I pegged him, he ate me out with a dildo in me (beyond amazing)…I need to check for bruises and bite marks. He was dominant in a good way…I am almost never satiated sexually. I have a lot of stamina and like to just keep going. I was just done, but we had probably had sex for 3 hours, I’m guessing.

So, yeah. I needed that. And I’m sure I’ll be seeing him again. Oh, and he is a HUGE Hillary fan. Not just a reluctant supporter. Hot.

One of the promises I’ve made to myself and have mentioned before that I’m not going to worry about my “number” as long as, among other things like being safe, I’m having sex I really want to be having. Now, how I define this is up to me, of course. But it definitely involves being in the moment with the person, being excited, not being bored…

So yesterday I met a guy who had seemed like maybe he could break my recent streak of just not being interested in guys older than 31/32. He was 38, but seemed to be really open sexually, good attitude, active, etc. He did send me one naked pic of his entire body. I noticed he didn’t look fully hard, but whatever. He said he had taken it that morning and I figured he might not have been and that’s fine. He did appear to have a nice body.

So we agree to meet in the late morning at a park near his place. He was going to a music fest later that day, and I get up early, so timing was fine for me. He said to meet him by the tennis courts…well, I get to the park and wander around awhile and message him that I have no idea where to go for the tennis courts. He asks where I am – I said I was in the prairie grass section – and he says he’ll come find me. I’m standing there in this kind of hidden area, and he comes walking up, says my name, doesn’t really smile (more on this later), and when we kind of do the greeting kiss cheek/hug, he starts making out with me. I kind of like the confidence and he is a good kisser, so I went with it. Pretty soon, we’re groping and stuff and the kissing is still very good. I kind of notice he doesn’t seem to be hard, but we are in a public-ish place and maybe he’s shy. We decide to go back to his place and the walk there (only a few blocks) is a little awkward. First, I really dislike his voice. Second, he still won’t smile at all. I guess I like some smiling. But the kissing was good, so, I’ll see how it goes. We go into his apartment and it’s kind of messy, but that’s fine. I’m not too tidy. And he makes me take off my shoes. Um…that’s totally fine, I don’t mind, but his place is NOT the kind of apartment where one has to take off shoes. And he puts on shower shoes. Oh, I should also mention that when he met me in the park, he had no shirt on. Which is fine. And while he has a nice body, it’s nice. It’s not “oh my, new guy is moving into the neighborhood and I want to sit and watch him move” nice. But he’s clearly very very proud of it.

So we’re making out, naked by this point. And he’s still only partly hard. Maybe and that’s being generous. I go down on him awhile and still almost nothing is happening. Like, I’m understanding of erectile issues. It happens. Not a big deal, but here’s the thing…*most* guys who are in that moment take it to try to at least make me happy. Nope. He sort of acts like my pussy is kryptonite. He looks at it. Seems to like it and makes happy sounds (oh,. he barely spoke, which is just as well b/c I don’t like his voice). But not a finger, let alone a mouth, to be had doing anything to it. He gets up to go to the bathroom and I’m thinking I’m super bored. I figure I’ll give it a chance when he comes back – maybe he really really had to pee and that somehow was interfering with him getting hard (what do I know about that?)
But he comes back and he’s still acting like I don’t even have a pussy and wants me to go down on him again. At this point, I’m like totally checked out. So I just said “You know, I’m not really feeling this to be honest.” Of course he agrees, b/c they always do once it comes up (and maybe he wasn’t either…) and he keeps kissing me. I’m like, “dude, the ‘i’m not feeling it’ isn’t ‘we should make out more'”. So I get up and get dressed and he kisses me more. I’m confused. But I leave, look at my phone, and I have messages from 4 guys. I did hope to see one of the many suitors yesterday, but timing just didn’t work out.

This was my first time calling off hooking up in the middle of things just b/c no chemistry. It was a big mental hurdle and I’m glad I cleared it. Of course, I wish there had been chemistry. But there isn’t always. But damn…I am feeling like I could use some good sex soon. At the moment, I have up to 5 dates for this coming week (but will have my period, so we’ll see how those go), so hopefully this not so great sex drought will end soon.

So, last night was the night…the threesome! For better or worse, the day started off crazy.I was kind of in the work survival mode until mid-afternoon, so I didn’t have much time to worry or stress. But once work got out of survival mode, I was definitely a little jittery…I couldn’t imagine how things would play out. I just kept telling myself that once we were naked, things typically work themselves out.

Part of me just wanted to go straight to their hotel room (they were staying in a hotel in the city anyway for something Saturday morning, so it all worked out well) and get it on. But they had proposed dinner first, so I went for a 3 mile run when I got home from work to work some stress out and then got ready and headed down to meet them for dinner. I did go to their hotel room, and then we headed out.

As someone who has never really been part of a swinging-type situation, “dating” a couple is weird. I mean, I’ve have so so so many dinners in life with friends and their husbands. Or couple friends. And it isn’t remotely sexual as I can’t even really see friends’ significant others as remotely on the table for anything…I respect relationships. And maybe that’s part of what has been really interesting to work through — making sure I respect the bond and also their decision to be open (in the way they’re comfortable being open). Anyway. we went to dinner and it was, as usual with them, comfortable and enjoyable. Good stories. We have similar senses of humor. I just enjoy them. And while I’ve found the woman very very attractive from the time we met, I was less sold on the guy. But he’s definitely grown on me.

So, after dinner, we go back to their hotel room and we’re all sitting on the bed chatting and drinking ginger beer mules (I’m not a big drinker, but did have 3 drinks last night – a lot for me. Not enough to be drunk at all, but enough to be more relaxed). I’d mentioned at dinner that I was getting a new tattoo today – that turned to a discussion that the woman had some tattoos and she kind of started to break the tension by taking off her shirt to show me her tattoos all over her back. I made sure to touch them to show some physical interest. Then they asked to see my tattoos, which required me pulling down my jeans to show my thigh. So…now we’re all done with our drinks and she asked if I wanted another…or if she could kiss me. Thank goodness someone knew how to direct! The guy was also new to the threesome thing, so her experience and directing was definitely appreciated and needed! Again, I really liked kissing her. Though it’s weird to be kissing someone smaller than me and with really long hair. I let my hands wander and that was more natural than I expected. She and her bf then started kissing and she then asked if I wanted to kiss them. While this wasn’t something I expected, I so appreciated her invitation to kiss him. It kept some of that understandable protectiveness out of things.

Anyway, we were soon all naked. It was one of those things where everyone kind of undressed themselves and it was sort of acknowledged that it’s a little awkward. But it really wasn’t awkward for most of the evening. A few highlights…omg. She was about as good as anyone ever as been at oral and fingering. Wow. When he started some fingering later, I was thinking “no comparison.” She asked before going down on me, which was both sweet and appreciated. I wanted her to go down on me! But I appreciated the way she seemed to care. And when I asked if I could go down on her, I said I’d never done that before…and she reassured me that I knew what I liked and would be just fine. And I think I was. It was interesting to feel a woman orgasm as I was stimulating her g spot and performing oral. Oh, hot too 🙂 I feel like I’m being super analytical, but it was all really fun and honestly more sweet and caring than a lot of the sex (even good sex!) that I’ve had lately. We all took different positions, all came, and then were all in a puddle at the end, cuddling…I’m not sure I came quite as hard as I sometimes do. But I had more of a consistent level of waves of orgasms for awhile.

We talked for awhile…they told me that they’d like to do this again, if I was open. Or just hang out, with or without clothes on. I assured them that I liked them both with and without clothes and would like to do the same. I thanked them for being such a great first threesome/first woman, and that it was really great for me. After cuddling awhile, we went for another round. Honestly, at this point, I was pretty tired, but it was really enjoyable and I had a few more mild orgasms.

They invited me to stay the night, but I was kind of worried the morning might make things weird and things were so good at that time, I decided to leave. Leave on a high note, right?

Anyway, I’ll leave things here…I am still thinking about how interesting the same sex experience was. It was obviously different, but not really, from heterosexual sex. I now get what my bi friends have said that it’s about the person, not the gender. I’m not saying I’m bi…but I am saying I get it. And I would like to explore this more and was wondering this morning if there would be circumstances under which the woman and I could just play together without her bf…because I think I’d like that.