Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)?
This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Tweets for Tweens, Adults, and In-betweens

The Holocaust: "Never forget." Sean Spicer: "I forgot."
Please note: According to legal experts, an airlines has a right prevent a passenger to board but not to remove a passenger without cause.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 11
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Trump will appoint Frederick Douglas to research whether Hitler ever used chemical gases on his own residents.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 9
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It is easier to fly out of the recently bombed airport in Syria than to fly out of Atlanta.
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Congratulations to Larry Thomas for his well deserved Best Actor Award for "The Love Suckers" from the New York International Film Festival.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 7
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Well, we can't possibly think about impeaching the President when we are at war in Syria.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 7
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From my book "Political Rules": any supermajority that can be overturned by the majority is not a supermajority. #Gorsuch
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 6
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Tim Tebow hit a home run and thought he was born on second.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 6
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Donald Trump Jr. is no longer thinking of running for Mayor; he may run for Governor. Next month, he will probably want to run for President
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 6
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I am sure the world's largest Communist leader will be impressed with the American leader's high standard of living.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 4
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Chelsea Clinton picked me for the first question. I got the knack back.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 4
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The Philadelphia guy walking around holding TV is art. The guy running with TV set is a different story.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 4
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OK, Vladamir, we get the UK to leave the EU, then create a crisis over Gibraltar, oh, and get this, we get Trump elected US President.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 1
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My "Phish Out of Water" has fallen to #788 on the Screenwritings chart. I could (not) have been a contender.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Apr 1
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If you buy my new screenplay "Time Again" on http://amazon.com , you always always buy it again another time, and appreciate the irony.
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My new screenplay "Time Again", a critical look at Hollywood, is now available on http://amazon.com . All your cousins want copies.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 31
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I wonder if Donald Trump will offer to testify if granted immunity.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 31
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The 1,000 Russians writing about Hillary was more than the number of American press following Hillary.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 30
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How does Trump want to change libel laws? When it is wrong for the press to print facts about the President?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 29
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PA State Senator claims body heat creates global warning I guess that is why they want fewer funds for heating assistance.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 29
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Remember the days of separate but unequal education by race? Those days are today.
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Trump to sign law allowing Internet providers to search for your social security numbers and history, and then sell this information.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 29
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Fact: US intelligence finds Russia influenced elections. Fact: 64% of Republicans believe they did not. Alternate world.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 29
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Fact: White House officials admit Obama did not surveil Trump. Fact: 74% of Republicans believe he did. Alternate world.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 29
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For the record, yesterday I was bleeding for 5 1/2 hours before I saw a doctor. I have great insurance. US health care: ya gotta love it.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 29
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The Disney Hall of Presidents will soon have an update. They admit they would have updated sooner. Now, what to do with a Hillary wax figure
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 28
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Trump called Merkel on her win and sympathized she didn't win by as much as he did.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 27
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When you declare "never again", you need to realize the U.S. has killed an estimated 1,000 civilians this past month.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 27
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Wait,I got all 32 first round picks wrong? Isn't that similar to guessing them all correctly?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 26
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When you believe rhetoric over facts you will not accept when it is fact that rhetoric is wrong.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 26
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Why do driverless cars keep trying to run me over?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 26
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People trust Putin more than Trump. I guess at least Putin can get things done.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 26
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We interrupt the latest Kardashian news to add that the U.S. is killing civilians. We now resume the Kardashian news.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 25
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It is sad that prosecutors are becoming notorious criminals.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 23
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How can you, when filling out an ethics form, forget that someone gave you a car, a couch, and a trip?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 23
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Trump may approve civilian bombing (war crime) while not allowing those fleeing his bombs to immigrate.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 22
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A sure sign we have a troubled President is that he does not own a dog.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 21
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Any fans out there: Please do not waste $20 to $50 on used copies of my screenplays when new copies are $5 to $10 on http://amazon.com/
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 20
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New York Film Festival: "The Love Suckers". Nominee for Best Short. April 7. Be there, or else, well, don't be there.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 20
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Murdoch-owned UK paper reports fake Obama wiretap claim traced to Russians. Is there anything Trump won't do for the Russians?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 19
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Kellyanne Conway claims her critics are "miserable". Why, they're practically deplorable.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 19
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The gang couldn't shoot straight, but Jimmy Breslin was a straight shooter. His works lives on. Even Ed Koch has a nice eulogy.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 18
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My "Phish out of Water" hits #231 on Screenplay best seller list. Trump can call me a nobody and he'd be correct.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 18
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I wish the White House would consider my satire as real news.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 18
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The White House thinking Alexandra Petri's satire is real news confirms they can't tell the difference between real news and fake news.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 17
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I hope that someday Donald Trump will refuse to shake my hands.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 17
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I am glad we reassured North Korea that have nothing to fear from the US, except for military attack.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 17
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How would eliminating Federal funds for New York's anti-terrorism make New York safer than building a wall on the Mexican border?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 16
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Trump wants to eliminate meals on wheels because he fears the meals will all roll away.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 16
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How is it we think that people fleeing genocide and terrorism are actually terrorists?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 16
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How about tax returns since 2005?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 16
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Trump supporters claiming the media altered the election more than the Russians show they put interference above a free press.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 15
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RIP Bill Walsh, a great editor and author who was a master at his work.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 15
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This should be the last season of "House of Cards" as the show can't possibly portray a President more sociopathic than the real one.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 15
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That awkward moment when you realize she said she wanted Spanx, not spanks.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 15
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Obama stole Trump's taxes through Trump's microwaves and then gave them to Rachel Maddow.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 15
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Women understand this storm is like many men. They promise they will deliver 12 inches but in reality it was only 5 inches.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 13
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If you are not in the job of having evidence, then please don't make up statements without evidence .
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People think "The Man in the Castle" is real. It is not. Trump will see to it Russia gets the eastern half and China the western half.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 13
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I am sorry that microwave spying was unable to prevent the Bowling Green massacre.
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In tis age of fake news, I can report that my new yuge screenplay on http://amazon.com "Phish Out of Water" was wiretapped by Obama.
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Maybe Trump is delaying filling positions is he subliminally knows he won't be around long enough to see them confirmed.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 12
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My new screenplay "Phish Out of Water" is now available on http://amazon.com . It makes a nice gift for people you don't like.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 12
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Trump indeed was first in his class at Wharton. He and I both sat in the front rows.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 11
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When I heard a troubled person has been arrested at the White House, it turned out not to be what I first thought.
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If you name is Muhammed Ali, Jr. and you've now been detained twice, imaged how it is for Muslims not named Muhammed Ali, Jr.
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For someone who campaigned being against Wall Street, he just fired a main person holding Wall Street responsible.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 10
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What means you think Sea Spicer was wearing his American flag pin upside down accidentally?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 10
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Fox to Dana: I think a conspiracy theorist has taken over the White House.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 10
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The White House asks that its health care proposal not be called Trumpcare. Call it Trumpcare. That will kill it, for sure.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 8
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Today's cleaning advice: Do not pour paint thinner down a toilet in a meth lab.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 7
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Yes, I made fun of Trump. I did the same thing when Obama was President. Back then, I made fun of Trump.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 6
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Right when you think Trump has said the most outrageous thing, along comes Ben Carson...
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 6
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I believe there were terrorist attacks in Bowling Green and Sweden, that Obama wiretapped Trump, and in the Great Pumpkin.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 6
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Swimming pools contain several gallons of urine, or as Donald Trump calls it: Paradise.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 6
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Why does Trump want to cut drug interdiction efforts yet spend on ineffective immigrant interdiction?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 5
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Domestic abuse is not grounds for divorce in Mississippi, yet is grounds for questioning Muslims if they beat their wives.
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If anyone is planning a "tell all" book about me, please at least wait until I do something to tell.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 5
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After I survived the Bowling Green massacre, Obama tapped my phone.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 5
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The politician who asks Muslims if they beat their wives never asked that of Christian Slater.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 3
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Remember, it is wrong if a Democratic office holder uses private email for work but fine for a Republican office holder.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 2
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During several years in a refugee camp, refugees are indeed vetted.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 2
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20 million face death by starvation in Africa. Why is the response of good religious people that we reduce help to those starving?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 1
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I did not keep count, yet I observed that when a man and a woman accepted Oscars, the man usually spoke first and spoke the most.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 1
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How about we find out who actually did the vandalism before we insinuate who did it?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Mar 1
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No women health care advisors? We will not get diversity from someone who doesn't believe in diversity.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 28
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Steve Harvey and Faye Dunaway have been nominated to the Federal Elections Commission.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 28
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If you are an American named Muhammed Ali, Jr. and you are detained, you can wonder what it is like for other Muslims.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 27
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My condolences to friends and family of Jan Chapman whose passing was pictured in error on worldwide television.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 27
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I went to bed after "La La Land" won Best Picture. Did I miss anything?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 26
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Maybe Pence stands with both Israel and Nigeria. After all, a Nigerian prince will be sending him a check any day now.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 26
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Political science lesson of the day: The most read publication in the 2016 elections was the National Enquirer.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 25
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Maybe the real news is Trump's ties with Russia and not the diversions Trump creates to minimize such reports.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 23
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Man arrested for flashing in Intercourse, Pa. should not have taken the town's name literally.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 23
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We found planets we could move to. So, are we in agreement we are giving up on this planet?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 22
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73 died in a terrorist attack in Pakistan. White House strangely quiet on reality when Muslims die but good at making up fake attacks.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 22
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450,000 children are about to starve to death in Nigeria. Anyone sending help? Anyone? Anyone?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 19
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Something is rotten in the sate of Denmark, no wait, I mean Sweden, no wait, I mean Bowling Green.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 19
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No, Norma McCorvey's passing does not mean Roe v Wade is no longer in effect.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 19
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Bowling Green, Ky. is in Sweden, which is how the terrorist attack that did not happen there also did not happen in Sweden. #swedenincident
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 15
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Trump supporters calling those who released Flynn information as guilty of treason does not understand reality. What happened to reality?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 14
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The Kremlin defending Michael Flynn should not be a positive thing.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 13
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The fact intelligence agencies believe that Russia gets US intelligence from the White House should upset you more than it does.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 12
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I can solve the White House Correspondents Dinner turmoil. Have a fake dinner.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 11
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Maybe Charles Oakley can become a Nets fan.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 11
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Anything critical of Trump is fake news. Any praise is real news. So, let say Trump is a wonderful liar---don't let Trump read the last word
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 11
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When did anything said by a Senator, who misrepresented his military service, automatically becomes fake news?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 11
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Of three million immigrants over past decades, 3 committed terrorist deaths. The three were from Cuba.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 10
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I presume this means the Knicks will not be considering Charles Oakley for a coaching job.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 10
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Intelligence sources state Trump associates DID speak with Russia about removing sanctions, during the campaign. #NotFakeNews
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 9
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It is easier to track and halt a terrorist living in the USA than one living in another country.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 8
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Polls show people want Obamacare repealed by not the Affordable Care Act. Hey, it's the same thing!
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 7
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Hey stoners who didn't vote: DEA says pot is still illegal and they will enforce the law. Key always was whether law would be enforced.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 6
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They are crack ceiling sidewalks known for drug dealing. Why don't the dealers seal the sidewalks with their own crack?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 6
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Every time someone breaks into a Dollar store, I always wonder "what exactly is the plan here?"
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 6
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If you are naked and you carjack a cab, expect the police to chase you.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 6
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@WhiteHouseAides If it is trueTrump does not read what he signs, someone ship him a resignation letter.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 6
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Why, yes, wartime leaders tend to be better remembered. Why do you ask, Mr. Trump?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 6
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Trump tweets "any negative polls are fake news" which shows he admits he does not believe in reality. Reality is kind of important.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 6
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If you are not going to let Muslims who collaborate with the US into the US, how many more foreign Muslims do you expect will collaborate?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 5
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My screenplay "Finding the Perfect Mate" is now available on http://amazon.com . Another sign of the apocalypse, along with Trump.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 4
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What makes someone a crook for speaking to Wall Street but it is fine to actually help financially benefit Wall Street?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 4
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So the President who refused to reduce low income mortgage rates is complaining that high income people have trouble with loans?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 3
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My IMDB rank fell over 42,000 this week. 1.) I never knew it was that high. 2.) I hope Trump prays my rank improves.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 3
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Maybe Trump will ask Frederick Douglass to speak at the Bowling Green Massacre Victims Fundraiser. #BowlingGreen #FrederickDouglass
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 3
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Fukumoto should be Fukutrump. #Fukumoto
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 3
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For future reference, there are people out there who never want to hear that someone found 25 snakes in a toilet.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 3
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Yes, undo Dodd-Frank because we are so nostalgic for th 2008 financial crisis repeating.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 3
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There was a Bowling Green massacre during a Hilltoppers football game. #BowlingGreenLivesMatter
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 3
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As a former Bowling Green resident, I am offended someone would invent there was a terrorist massacre there.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 2
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Let us pray. Lord, we ask you to grant The Apprentice higher ratings.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 2
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What do you mean by "what shall we do IF the President is unbalanced?"
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 2
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First, they came for the Muslims, and then for the Mexicans, and I said nothing. Then they came for the Australians, and I was "huh?"
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 2
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The next time Frederick Douglass dies, someone tell Trump.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Feb 1
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The ban on refugees increases the chances of a terrorist attack, which will then be used by Trump as justification for the ban.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Jan 31
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If your last name is Cheese, do not rob a pizza deliverer. You should know the press will headline that.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Jan 31
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You want the Wall? Will you pay $900? That's how much it may cost each taxpayer.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Jan 31
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The Arts and Humanities Councils were displaced for Trump hotel. Hotel renovations cost more than their combined budgets.
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Jan 31
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Russia is escalating the crisis in Ukraine. Is anyone surprised by this?
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Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit Jan 30
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"Never forget." "Oh, by the way, I'm not mentioning that Jews died during the Holocaust."