nice chain-smoking ladies

Laura Bush Loves Socialism Again

In the early 1800s, a nice nerdy Democrat gal named Laura “Matt” Welch was attending a “common backyard barbecue” in Texas when this drunk slob, George W. Bush, started grabbing her boobs and vomiting all over her. Bush made Ms. Welch become a Republican, if she wanted in on the family money, and this arrangement worked out alright until just now, when Laura Bush said a nice thing or two about Barack Obama and his commie speech to the schoolchildren.

Laura Bush told CNN these evil things while she was literally in Paris, France, the home of “education.”

The typically reserved former first lady defended Obama’s decision to deliver a back-to-school speech to students, putting her at odds with many conservatives afraid that the president will use the opportunity to advance his political agenda.

“I think he is [doing a good job],” Bush said when asked to assess Obama’s job performance. “I think he has got a lot on his plate, and he has tackled a lot to start with, and that has probably made it more difficult.”

Michelle Obama is also “doing great,” she said, in part by turning the White House into a comfortable home for her family.

Referencing the uproar over Obama’s address to schoolchildren, which will be aired nationwide Tuesday, Laura Bush said it’s “really important for everyone to respect the president of the United States.”

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

I’m not sure I understand. Where’s the part about killing Obama for the Socialism and then eating his brain?

KublaKant

I got better

ManchuCandidate

[re=404336]TGY[/re]:
Too skinny to be Newt.

4tehlulz

Rush will begin talking about her car “accident” shortly.

greywindz

Yea, I was watching this programme…but you missed the important part…she was asked whether Obi-wanna-ma is a commie, and she said, that she didnt liked when nasty things were said about W, so she wont say… ;-)

bureaucrap

Laura Bush and Levi Johnston should probably flee the country together. Laura’s already fled; Levi can meet her there and be her hot boy toy.

[re=404346]Marmel[/re]: YOU MISSED THE PART IN THE POST WHERE SHE HAS BECOME A FRENCHIE COMMIE NOW AND HAS BEEN INDOCRINATED BY THE MUSLIN FROM KENYA IN SOCIALILMZ!111! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!1

slappypaddy

we always knew she was the brains in the family.

meyotch

Seriously, is this the best the late-nighters can do?

I dropped a topical oral-sex innuendo and this is what I get?

Sheeeit, I guess I’ll ‘work’ tomorrow.

groove

This decency should be stifled before an all-out outbreak of the stuff happens. We don’t need this here in U.S. America.

Monsieur Grumpe

So she’s off the meds now or she’s back on the meds? I’m so confused.

AmazingLarry

Yeah, well…. she killed a person.

Failed 2 Menace

Yes, no, yes.

rmontcal

Where is Laura Bush’s gift certificate?

the problem child

Hey, a former first lady recluse basically said nothing. What a win for decency and common sense!

grendel

The important part was that she was wearing clown white on her face and red hooker lipstick… It was kinda scary

gurukalehuru

What does this mean? Either she’s genuinely trying to be nice and above the fray, which means she probably never had a clue what was going on, or she just didn’t get the memo, which means there is a serious chink in the wingnut ranks.

Fun times ahead.

house of the blue lights

Did I somehow miss the part where you can promote a political agenda through that well-known voting block, “people under the age of 18”? (Oh, and kudos to Mrs. Bush, for coming out of the vicodin-stupor long enough to throw some sense into this “debate”)

AnnieGetYourFun

[re=404346]Marmel[/re]: Seriously, right? And how does Mrs. Bush beel about the crackdown in China… in Tiananmen Square? Hm? Inquiring minds want to know.

AnnieGetYourFun

Also, my god, that picture. She is SUCH a hussy.

Jumping Jim

Speaking of education, here is how to tell what the future is for your 6 year old schoolchild.

Tell them this joke.

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.

If they laugh, that’s good, as this is 6 year old humor.

If they say, Dad, I’ve heard that joke, that’s ok, because they are socially acclimated.

If they have a blank stare, they may be a future Republican.

If they tell you that you should not say the word Pooh, then they are a Shawn Hannity / Rush Limbaugh listener.

If they stare blankly and then tell you not to say Pooh, hide your drugs. They will someday narc you to the police.

Oldskool

She had eight years to hog-tie hubby and stuff him in a closet but she let him run amok instead. Must be feeling as guilty as Colin Powell.

totoro

This is the kind of juice you get when you put a Latina on the Supreme Court.

Remember this one from way back in June 8:
Mrs. Bush said in an interview broadcast Monday on ABC’s “Good Morning America” that “as a woman, I’m proud that there might be another woman on the court. I wish her well.”

I bet she thinks women have something distinct and valuable to offer in male-dominated segments of public life. Who knew we had a raving anti-man hairy-pits socialist in the WH for 8 years? The rumors of her Mexican origins will begin shortly.

PerhapsSo

[re=404345]bureaucrap[/re]: She seems to like them dumb, so that might just work.

sezme

I really don’t know how to feel about this until we hear from Mrs. Innister. Like is this one of those times when it’s appropriate to laugh?

WadISay

Apology to Rush Limbaugh coming in 3…2…1.

Lazy Media

Hmm. George W. Bush and Mrs. George W. Bush have hardly done a single douchey thing since he left office. Is he actually a nice, if dimwitted, fella who was held hostage by Dick Cheney for eight years?

house of the blue lights

[re=404344]greywindz[/re]: child, child, child. Are you talking about “context”? Haven’t we taught you ANYthing?

Flanders

[re=404385]gurukalehuru[/re]: I’m going with nice and clueless.

widget09

Why is Laura permitted to speak her own mind? This is downright treason. I expect the teabaggers to disownn the Bushes.

DoctorCulturae

No, this is all part of the “don’t-throw-my-hubby-in-the-clink-he-was-set-up-by-Darth-let-him-take-the-fall” crusade.

Remember how Bill ‘n Hilz did the same with him?

Cy_Guy

[re=404341]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Frankly

An Outhouse

Laura must have just received a refill on her meds. Sometimes she goes overboard when the supply appears to be unlimited.

rubybuckaroo

That photo of Laura bookended by burka dames has me kinda giggly.

hunter.blatherer

Why is that woman in the picture wearing a mask? The one in the middle, I mean.

factnorfiction

This is what happens when Laura Bush doesn’t have CONSTANT, UNENDING ACCESS to her cancer sticks. Someone plz quickly find something phallic-shaped to plug her up??

lawrenceofthedesert

Next thing you know, she’ll be commenting on Wonkette. Must she be so, well, New Mexican? And how was she able to avoid catching the Gasbag Virus from Shrubbie (look how it devastated Liz Dole, and Bob didn’t even win)? Joshua Goldbugger wants to know.

freerangemink

[re=404369]AmazingLarry[/re]: Jesus H.! Is that an “American Dream” reference? Well don’t that just beat the Dutch!?

freerangemink

[re=404432]Lazy Media[/re]: Maybe but then who made him execute all them retards down in Texas?

One Yield Regular

Is that a picture of her being held hostage by radical Christian fundamentalists?

[re=404385]gurukalehuru[/re]: You thinking of John Yu maybe? He seems pretty serious.

Extemporanus

Mmm…I sure do love me some Double-Stuf Whoreos®, uh-huh!

AutomaticPilot

[re=404515]freerangemink[/re]: In other words, W put Trig in front of a death panel.

Bruno

The Cheney death list just got one more name added to it.

Laura, I don’t care how many meds you are on (hopefully same as me), but I knew you were the cool one in that couple.

Accordion-o-rama

Laura Bush: Intellectual giant of the GOP.

Rock Tumbler

I like how CNN attributed her quote: “I think he is [doing a good job].” The most important part of the sentence is apparently something she didn’t actually say. She could have said “I think he is a nigger” and we would be none the wiser.

LoweredPeninsula

I swear to the FSM that she looks like Batman’s Joker in every posed picture I’ve ever seen of her.

Can someone do some nice ‘art’ and turn her into the Dark Night Joker? It wouldn’t be that difficult, as the base palette is already there in her own face.

BTW, Ms. Welch has been a willing hostage. This former librarian (booo, socialist book-learnin’!) was a Democrat all her life ’till she met George Walker Bush (nee Cockhead). I guess that money was too tempting.