Seriously man. I never stumble across random penguins. Of course when I do, I chop their heads off, so maybe it's for the best.

Hahah, yeah, the "cut up ancient toys" thing horrifies me. I feel guilty even painting some of mine, and THOSE ones were in extremely awful condition! That little part of me is always like "These have a finite supply! They are a non-renewable resource! Who cares how cool a Snowy Owl might look! STOP IT!"

-This guy is probably the commonly-known House Mouse. Rodents are the most populous Order of Mammalia by far- taking up 40% of all mammalian species- and also one of the most adapatable. They can live anywhere, do many things, and breed like crazy, making up for their short life spans and weak bodies. Rodent means "to gnaw", and that's what they do. Their gross, sharp teeth peel slices off of various things, causing humans all sorts of grief, since we don't like almost anything in this Order. Mice are the most numerous rodents, being the most far-reaching animal on Earth after us. Typically in many different Species, but the most common one is the House Mouse (Mus musculus). The "Mouse-Like Rodents" are the Suborder Myomorpha, and features *1,137* unique Species!!

Toy Description: This is one I never really though much of when I was a kid, but seeing a two-armed version at the Old Strathcona Antique Mall, I was actually struck by how neatly-designed this one is. The "mousy" bits themselves aren't that impressive, but the color choice (grey/blue/red) and very, VERY detailed armor help what's a pretty plain animal (not prone to awesome designs) really stand out. A "38" is on his lower back, and there's a tiny "B" on the back of his armor. In addition, this guy has an ever-rare TAIL- it curves down his right leg, pointing backwards (while merging with his foot)- not a huge amount of detail, but it's more than most Beasts get. His left foot has a peg-hole in it.

Colors: Four. His body is a light grey color, and his armor is an odd, dark pastel red. His Secondary Bits, Helmet and Special Hand are all light blue. His eyes and (oddly) teeth are a sickly-looking yellow.

Armor: One of the more-detailed sets of armor in the line, actually. There are lines and details EVERYWHERE- his boots, torso, gauntlets & shoulder pads are covered in elaborate lines and raised mechanical bits, and his shoulder pads end in tiny spikes projecting outwards. A large backpack/engine thing sits on his back, with a lot of rounded pieces. Two blue "vents" (of four vents each) sit next to his Chest Symbol, and two blue circles are on the front of his codpiece. A larger blue circle is on the rear of it. He has a rather large, thin head-guard that goes from the back of his head to a point ending beneath his eye-line. And even THAT is heavily-detailed, with a raised middle bit, two vents on the front, and ending in a spiked tip.

Weapon: A long golden sword, notable for having a rounded crossguard, and a long blade that bulges in the middle.

Hands & Feet: A three-fingered hand, and three-toed feet. His left hand is a large, mechanical-looking "shovel" of sorts.

Easily-Broken Bits: None, though his round ears stick out a bit.

Had it as a Kid: Yep- this guy looks very unimpressive without his arms.

Variants: There is a fairly-rare "unpainted teeth" version, which again, is oddly MORE expensive, despite being less-detailed than the baseline toy! There are also sightings of a much darker-gold version of his weapon.

This one's rather obvious- Sledgehammer Elephant is clearly an African Elephant, which is easily differentiated from the Asian variety due to its much more massive ears. Even the lack of other identifying features (size; hump on the back) doesn't prevent this from being clear.

-Elephants are part of the Order Proboscidea- home to the largest land animals on Earth. This obviously makes them pretty famous, as you'll see Elephants everywhere- Disney movies, background scenes in Africa, etc. They used to be a lot more widespread, especially with the Mammoths & Mastodons, but the centuries haven't been so kind- both modern-day species are endangered. Their fabled ivory tusks are a target for poachers, and the Asian species' land is up for grabs in the South Asian area. The earliest-known member of the Order was about the size of a fox, but generally they're all known for being exceptionally huge. Oddly enough, their closest relatives amongst animals are the tiny Hyraxes, and the aquatic Sirenians (Manatees & Dugongs).

-Elephants have great intelligence (considered Ape or Dolphin-like at times), and are known to have a great deal of self-awareness and empathy, finding the skeletons of other elephants fascinating to handle and observe.

-African Elephants are so powerful than virtually the only thing screwing with them are entire PACKS of lions, or humans from afar with their giant guns. Otherwise, this is the king of the mountain of the animal kingdom on land- nothing can stop them. They're so overwhelmingly powerful that they've caused permanent injuries to humans BY ACCIDENT, and even smaller ones have taken literally SEVENTY bullets from standard-issue police handguns before dropping. Their sheer bulk is unmatched- they grow continuously throughout their lives, so that a 50-year old male is noticeably larger than a 20-year old, despite both being adults. I can't even imagine the mindset of a Roman Legionnaire fighting the hordes of Carthage and seeing some of THESE things running around with guys on top of them (Elephant Cavalry easily disrupts Horse Cavalry, as Horses generally won't come close to Elephants). Humans simply... don't survive encounters with Elephants that turn violent. Unless they're extremely lucky and manage to grab hold of a leg or something.

-Elephants have numerous odd things due to their size. Their famous giant ears are full of blood-vessels, meant to easily expose their blood to the air to cool it down- animals at this size (particularly mammals- Dinosaurs were less affected presumably) overheat VERY quickly, and thus need little cheats like that and wallowing in mud or water to stay cool. Their feet have absorbent pads, allowing them to detect things at range- particularly other Elephants' low-pitched grumblings, or the presence of water underground (their fabled "Never Forget" ability is actually them detecting the water- not remembering where old veins of it were). And their trunk has more muscles than your whole body.

Danger to Humans: You have to ask? An angry Elephant is easily the most dangerous land creature in the Animal Kingdom. Given their intelligence, manual dexterity and mass, the only animal with a greater variety in ways to kill Man is Man himself. Given that they can weigh more than 12,000 pounds, Elephants are easily capable of killing people by ACCIDENT, much less on purpose. Elephants have calmly crushed people to death by pressing their heads onto them, cracked skulls open with their feet, thrown people with fatal force, and simply dismembered them. There have been numerous reports of hormone-crazed male elephants goring RHINOS to death, and tearing them to pieces.

-In India, where Elephants are often used for labor, they result in about 150 human fatalities a year, which is more than TIGERS manage. In Africa AND Asia, they are known to demolish entire villages because someone pissed them off. Exceptionally-intelligent and with the concept of revenge, combined with their power, adult Elephants have only one real enemy: us.

Toy Description: Another very iconic, distinctive Beast, I kind of glossed him over for years because mine had no arms, and I'd had him for so long he kind of became "plain" to me. But really- a PURPLE Elephant?!? He's one of the biggest stand-outs in terms of "Non-Natural Colors" for the Beasts- most just alter the base color slightly (a yellow Tiger, grey Platypus or fully-white Lion), but this one is straight-up way outside the bounds of reality. It's an odd pastel purple, too- likely to avoid clashing with whatever armor they gave him (in this case, dark grey). He's appropriately one of the most massive Beasts, as well. He's altogether very well put-together. However, one flaw I notice is that the plastic is prone to "yellowing"- much like the white-colored Beasts, this particular shade of purple will fade at the edges, turning him semi-transparent with a creamy color.

He has one of the largest heads of the Beasts, as his trunk and short tusks (which are not colored separately from the rest of him- kind of a flaw, given how large they are physically) extend a long ways down. His ears project out by quite a ways as well (marking him as an African, rather than an Asian, elephant). Like most early-number beasts, his number is on the back of his head, and the copywrite info is on his back. A small "A" is on his right boot.

Colors: Three. His body is a very light, pastel purple. His armor is dark grey (almost black), and his Secondary Color and eyes are dark yellow.

Armor: A fairly-large two-piece with more mass than extreme detail- his kneepads are very rounded, and his shoulder pads lie separate from the rest of the armor. Because of his trunk & tusks, his Symbol is placed far lower than normal- it's straight-up on his crotch! A fairly-long piece of armor is on top of his head- it curves around the top of his skull, ending in a large, raised bit with a yellow trapezoid at the peak. The bottom of his kneepads also have "headlights" of sorts.

Weapon: A long silver "sword" of sorts- it's kind of shaped like an inverted baseball bat (so that it's pointy on the end). A pair of spikes act as a small "crossguard", and there are four spikes circling near the tip. A nosecone caps off the thing.

Hands & Feet: One large "mitten" hand, and three-toed feet. His left hand is a large grey double-ended hammer.

Easily-Broken Bits: The tip of the trunk is prone to damage. And as I mentioned, the purple tends to miscolor with age- the toes, tip of the nose, and the edges of his huge ears are VERY prone to turning a "creamy" glue-like color with time and weathering. Both of mine are like this.

Had it as a Kid: Yep- armless and weathered.

Variants: None.

Overall Score: 7.5/10 (high-quality figure, though I'm not sold on the color scheme)

Sly Fox seems pretty clearly to be a Red Fox, given that those are popular in Japan as well (giving rise to the "kitsune" myths of shapeshifting creatures). Foxes are tiny, rather insignificant predators in the grand scheme of things, but their outstanding appearance and sneaky, stealthy ways has led to great fame as a mystical, wise trickster, much like the Coyote- however, the Fox has more importance in Western society, owing to the fact that white people didn't see Coyotes until a few centuries ago. So you get a lot of stuff like the fox symbolizing cunning with folkloric characters like Reynard the Fox. The Red Fox statted here is the largest variety. In terms of distance covered, they are easily the most widely-distributed member of Carnivora on Earth, living all across the Arctic Circle to North Africa and Asia. Introduced populations in Australia are effective enough hunters that they're considered a high-end "Bad Invasive Species".

-Foxes are currently being used for a study in Domestication of animals, with several generations being selectively-bred for tameness around people. Astonishingly, the breeders discovered the new generations of Foxes developing curled tails and strange coat patterns (such as piebald)- traits of domesticated DOGS! This seems to give credence to a theory that the very traits that make Dogs DOGS are the ones that make other tame animals so distinct. You'll note how Wild Horses and other animals are typically fairly-uniform in appearance- rarely sporting bizarre patterns unless that's their standard form (like Zebras).

Toy Description: This guy was always one of my top picks back in the day, despite being fairly "standard issue" and not really dynamically-colored. He just looks very "classic" and somewhat-noble (the friendly smile marked him as a "good guy"). I actually made him my "Second-In-Command" for the heroic Beasts (I was OBSESSED with giving every group a Team Leader, then a #2 guy). He's somewhat recognizable as a fox given his orange-ish complexion and his canine head & pointed ears. The pure white armor stands out, too- it's not white plastic, so it's not as prone to fading as the white Beasts are. Unusually, he has a tail- but despite Foxes having one of the most-iconic tails in the animal kingdom, his is fairly tiny and not foxlike in the slightest- it's basically a tiny little pointy "nub". Like most early Beasts, he has a number on his head, a letter on his left boot (a "B" in my case), and copywrite info on his back. Oddly, however, only my childhood Fox has the "B"- the "mintier" one I got from eBay does not.

Colors: Three. His body is a slightly-orange brown color, and his armor is painted white. His eyes, head-thingie and the collar of his armor are all blue.

Armor: A very simple one-piece, though well-designed- it's fairly large, boxy size is the "iconic" Battle Beast formula to me. The boots are big and have vents and blocky kneepads, along with three lines on each side. Beneath his Chest Symbol is a small box with what looks like a "W" on top of an "O"- it seems more like a generic shape. His armor has a blue collar made up of squares and raised "dots", while his head brandishes one of those metal slabs- it's blue, but with a small white dot on top.

Weapon: A giant, dark bronze letter "D" on a hilt. No seriously, that's totally what it is. The points on the ends make it look kinda like the Mighty Ducks "D".

Hands & Feet: Rare four-fingered hands, along with three-toed feet.

Easily-Broken Bits: None, though his tail is very prone to weathering, being pointy and small.

Had it as a Kid: Yep- armless and weathered as hell.

Variants: None.

Overall Score: 7/10 (nothing spectacular, but I have a lot of cherished childhood memories of my "Good Guy 2nd-In-Command")

-The Giraffe is fairly obvious, though the exact type of Giraffe is unknown. He's probably a Reticulated Giraffe, the most commonly-seen one, with the most "clean" pattern. Well, this order pretty much just has the Giraffes. And the Okapi, an animal only discovered in the past 100 years, being thought so unbelievable that they couldn't possibly exist. They specialize in ultra-long tongues and little stumpy ossicones on top of their heads. Giraffes sprung off of a group that went on to form Bovidae & Cervidae- their ancestors were usually smaller and more heavily-built, resembling Deer. Sivatherium was an astonishing 7 feet at the shoulder, built like a larger Okapi, with impressive antler-like ossicones. It may have only gone extinct as recently as 8,000 years ago, judging by some cave paintings discovered in Africa.

-Giraffes are pretty cool, and notable for being of course the tallest land animal in the world. Nobody believed they were real until they saw them with their own two eyes, and even then they were in awe (the Latin name dervies from it's perceived "parents"- the camel & the leopard). Containing many subspecies (some of which are quite rare) that more or less look exactly the same with some minor variations in markings, Giraffes are extremely powerful fighters, but are still victimized by Lions, about the only African predator that can harm them (and even then, a well-placed kick can shatter a skull or break a spine).

-It's hard to describe just how BIG these things are without being close to them- the Calgary Zoo had a BABY that was able to peer sadly out of a really high window because it wanted to go outside. And there's nothing quite like watching an animal give birth to a SIX-FOOT INFANT that falls clear to the floor from a standing mother. The record is 20 feet tall, but most are between 16 and 18 feet. And apparently the males tend to get it on with each other more than the females.

-Giraffes fighting each other for dominance is a very weird thing- the two males stand astride each other and calmly and silently SWEEP their heads towards each other, creating massive "CRACK!" noises that echo across the savannah- they hit so hard, and their necks flail so wildly, that every strike looks like it causes neck-breaking damage.

Toy Description: Chalk this guy up as yet another one of the Beasts who I disregarded as a kid, but recognize as a pretty good one these days. My childhood toy of course had massive damage and missing arms, making his elongated body look EXTRA skinny, which is probably why I didn't think much of him. He is, however, one of the few I remember seeing in the package as a kid- I think my dad came home from work with one of the two-packs.

The Giraffe is, unsurprisingly, the tallest Battle Beast of them all. Designing a bipedal version of such a strange-looking animal could not be easy- they're digitigrade and are known primarily for their titanic necks. But they actually pull this one off- his body is taller and thinner than that of most Beasts, and his neck is just a BIT long- it's only a little longer than his head is tall- much shorter than a real giraffe's. But, given that most Beasts are basically neckless, boxy-shaped types, this still gives him a noticeably different silhouette. His armor is well-detailed as well (there's a tiny "B" on the left boot of two of my Giraffes, though another two I have has a "C"), the color-scheme is well-chosen, and he even has extra details- his skin features numerous bumps to imitate the rosette markings of a giraffe. He even has ossicones! And his weapon is one of the best in the line, too- a really good Beast, all things considered.

Colors: Three. His body is bright canary yellow (not quite a giraffe's "tan", but what the hell- close enough), and his armor is a very dark, greenish shade of blue. His eyes and pieces of his armor are red.Armor: A two-piece set, with a good number of details and pronounced points. His shoulder pads are spiked, and his Chest Symbol has two red headlights beside it, as well as a large red "rack" beneath. His blue headgear actually imitates the giraffe's "mohawk", going all the way down the back of his neck, while ending up top with a pair of tiny ossicones.Weapon: One of the line's five best weapons- it resembles a large bronze elk's antler, with spikes all over. The branching spikes make it look really distinctive and nasty.Hands & Feet: Rare four-fingered hand, combined with a left hand that looks like a cloven hoof (sort of like a giraffe's foot). His feet actually end in paired hooves like a real giraffe's as well.Easily-Broken Bits: His scrawny physique makes him a tad vulnerable I'd imagine, but the bits you're most likely to lose are the teensy little ossicones.

-The Aardvark is the only living species in its Order, and not extremely popular (despite the Arthur series, which features an unrecognizable member of the species as its titular character). Personally, I was shocked by the thing's sheer SIZE when I saw one at the Bronx Zoo- expecting a 30-pound creature at most, I kept waiting for the keeper to walk out of its extremely dark "nocturnal enclosure"... until my eyes adjusted and I realized that it wasn't a keeper on all fours... THAT WAS THE ANIMAL!

-Aardvarks are 100-plus-pound bug-eaters that sniff around with their distinctive giant snouts. Living in Africa, these creatures are among the few semi-large animals to be in the "Least Concern" range.

Toy Description: One of my most-forgotten Beasts, he looks a bit plain. Despite that, he's very distinctive- the only white and orange one in the line. Of course... that's rare mainly because it LOOKS WEIRD- he kind of looks deathly-pale and sickly. He's very much a Standard-Issue Beast, being of normal height and width. He's got a Weird Hand and boxy armor, as well as a big weapon. He's the plainest of the "Purple Weapon" guys- the only other stand-out besides his color scheme is his giant set of ears- he only really resembles an actual aardvark because it's got these giant, elongated, easily-damaged ears. Of interesting note is how similar he is to the Tapir- it takes a mammal, makes it completely white (a non-standard color), gives it a white Weird Hand, and throws it in bright armor. When I saw a Tapir at the Old Strathcona Antique Mall here in town, I'd actually disregarded it because I assumed I'd already had it! I actually had to re-check just to make sure this was a rarity! His left foot has a peg-hole in it, and you can see a "67 A" next to it.

Colors: Three. His body is plain white, and his armor is a bright orange. His eyes and Secondary Color is bright yellow.

Armor: A two-piece set, very boxy in shape. There are various elongated rectangles all over the suit, giving it a somewhat Gundam-like exterior. A set of triangular headlights are beside his Chest Symbol, and you'll see smaller square headlights on his crotch and butt.

Weapon: A very large, purple trident. The pommel is quite large, and the weapon is so thick as to look more like a toy than an actual weapon.

Hands & Feet: One three-fingered hand- the other is a white "pincer" attached to a cylindar. Quite weird. He has three-toed feet.

Easily-Broken Bits: Those very long, thick ears are attached at the tiniest points imaginable- they're basically begging to be torn off.

Had it as a Kid: Yep- armless and earless.

Variants: None.

Overall Score: 7/10 (I kinda like him in some ways, but find him boring in others. So a decent, but still middling, score)

-Colonel Bird could be just about any kind of bird, but looks kind of like an eagle that's all white. His beak is a bit of the generic Robin-like type, however. Maybe he's a bald eagle? His Japanese name, "Fly Kick", isn't terribly evocative either. Eagles are frickin' sweet. Golden Eagles? They take stuff the size of human children (and probably COULD take them if they wanted to), and are even used in WOLF HUNTS, running down even apex predators in other animal Orders! And really- how majestic can you get? Giant, super-noble predators with the most dignified expression in history. Suck it, Bald Eagle, the Golden Eagle has it all over you.

-Speaking of elite hunting tactics- check THIS crap out!: Yes, it's literally grabbing the goats, and then THROWING THEM OFF A CLIFF, to eat the flattened creature at the bottom. That is NASTY. Though I can't find any record of fatalities on behalf of Golden Eagles, that is not for lack of trying.

Toy Description: Easily one of the most-iconic Beasts, Colonel Bird comes from the first set of toys, and is one of the most-commonly-seen. He's the first bird character in the series, and sort of "informs" the rest- he has long, thin, birdlike legs (as opposed to the human-like legs of the other figures), a pronounced beak, and large wings coming out of his back. He was actually one of my "Top Beasts" as a kid, but subsequent bird-based characters have surpassed him, and his commonality has kind of made him seem less cool. He still has a fairly-unique set-up for his gear, though- his one-piece armor has the Symbol in the stomack area, a plunging neckline, and he has NO BOOTS- his bare legs come right out of a pair of "armor shorts". His spindly little bare legs also make him the most unbalanced Beast in the line. Oddly, it has "4 A" on his butt.

Colors: Three. His body is white, his armor is a light sea-blue, and his eyes, beak and Secondary Color are a green-ish yellow.

Armor: One of the more-unique sets, especially for an early Beast. His armor is a one-piece with a Symbol in the stomach area, and a plunging neckline. His codpiece actually has armored SHORTS coming out of it, leaving his legs bare. His shoulder pads are elongated, with the tips pointing downwards. His wristguards are quite distinct as well- single white "claws" point down all Wolverine-style. He has a blue helmet of sorts, going in a big hoop over the middle of his head, and the back of his armor is almost entirely blank. He has a set of large yellow headlights above his Symbol.

Weapon: A large, complex silver Spear-like weapon. It almost looks like a weaponized Ultimate Warrior mask, as it's a shape with three prongs on top, and two in the bottom, with central "holes" of triangular shape on each side. The spear's pommel is a spade-like shape, also very pointed. It's one of the cooler, more distinctive early weapons.

Hands & Feet: Three-fingered hands. His feet are very thin and bird-like- three talons in front of each, one in the back.

Easily-Broken Bits: Oh Jesus. He has very large wings, which are easily-broken (especially by young me). His legs are the skinniest in the entire line, leaving even THOSE vulnerable (I have the leg-less Bird to prove it). And his body is WHITE, meaning that it's prone to yellowing and darkening with age.

Had it as a Kid: Yep- with a ton of "battle damage", including missing wings and LEGS. Thanks to various eBay lots, and the commonality of this figure, I now have at least three armed versions (only one weapon, however- and I actually had to BUY IT- I lost the old one!).

Variants: Four different shades of "blue" are seen- some more green, some very dark. It's common enough to see that it's probably a simple factory error.

Overall Score: 6/10 (he's actually perfectly acceptable- it's just that he looks so plain next to all of the others)

-Bats are the only mammals to possess true flight, not just gliding like the Sugar Gliders, Flying Squirrels and other membrane-limbed small mammals. Their wings are just extremely large hands, with elongated fingers featuring a big membrane stretched across them, allowing them natural flight. The Order varies in size from the 5'7" wingspan of the Flying Fox, to the Hog-Nosed Bat's tiny 6-inch span. Surprisingly (to me anyways), Chiroptera is a HUGE Order that contains nearly a quarter of all mammal species (977 in total!), surpassed only by Rodentia.

-They live in many habitats, and are generally feared for their creepiness (they're very Uncanny Valley-ish, with "hands" that are incredibly warped and different from our own, yet they're recognizably mammalian), but are great hunters of insects, or just plain-old fruit-eaters. Of course, one particular breed (not native to North America, don't worry) drinks BLOOD, making small wounds on large animals and lapping up the plasma. Like Dolphins, Bats use Echolocation to fly about at night- far from "blind", they just use their hearing more.

-Bats are spectacularly-weird creatures, and people are often quite afraid of them, owing to their strange appearance. The Proboscis here is being statted up because he's very typical of insectivorous bats- an Echolocation-packing, flying animal. They show up in smaller groups than many bats, which are known to gather together in SPECACULARLY-large numbers- one cave in Texas is home to a group of MILLIONS of the little buggers!

Vampire Bats: These infamous creatures are also South American (and thus a bit unlikely to be the minions of a Transylvanian Vampire). They fly around, find livestock (or, you know, humans), make a tiny incision, and lap up blood for about half an hour, preventing clotting with their saliva. For some reason, their dietary habits have made them unpopular with people.

Blitzkrieg Bat, with his sharp teeth and general facial structure, is likely a Vampire Bat.

Toy Description: Another of the most-iconic Battle Beasts, Blitzkrieg Bat is notably the only winged creature in the line that isn't a bird. I had at least a couple of this early Beast as a kid, but as he's got some of the most fragile extra bits in the line, he was badly-damaged and armless, and so I kind of fell out of love with the guy. However, he's one of the more well-designed, unique characters in a lot of ways- a good color scheme (one of the least-boring brown guys), a distinctive set of wings, and his Symbol is on his WING- not his armor! The dark green Secondary Color, his freaky cyborg eye, and his hook-hand all combine together for a very neat creature. Like most early Beasts, he has some stuff on his back- the Copywrite info and the #12 are all on his WINGS, and an "A" is on his left boot (one of my others has a "B").

He has one of the better heads in the series- big batlike ears, a muzzle, and a pronounced set of fangs (albeit not colored in- they're brown like the rest of his body). One of the most evil-looking Beasts for certain.

Colors: Three. His body is a light, rich brown, and his armor is black (borderline dark grey). A very dark, blue-ish green is the Secondary Color, also on his hook-hand and his eyes.

Armor: A standard one-piece set, but with no Symbol. Sweeping green headlights are on the chest, along with a pair on the crotch. The armor is quite ordinarily-shaped, but is very sleek, with diagonal lines making it look like a race car's designs. He has a single eye patch (that produces a big green cybernetic eye) that flows into a "head strip".

Weapon: An oddly-shaped bronze weapon, it forms what looks like a ram's head from the side. It's basically a polearm that ends in a flat hammer shape (with the rear end flowing into a ram's horn). But the front of the "hammer" actually ends in a weird triangle, with one spike coming out on top, another, larger one on the bottom, and the flattest spike in the front.

Hands & Feet: One big "mitten" hand, while the other is a large green hook. He has weird, two-toed feet that don't resemble a bat's- they look more like ungulate hooves.

Easily-Broken Bits: Oh man- THOSE WINGS. Most of the birds at least have feathers giving the wings "depth"- these are just thin sheets of plastic. Some of the most easily-damaged stuff in the line.

Had it as a Kid: I actually had two- each was missing the Weird Hand arm, and one wing each.

Variants: None known.

Overall Score: 7.5/10 (one of the top early Beasts, and one of the most stand-out characters)

-This one's rather clear- he couldn't really be anything else. Moose (Elk in Europe- Europeans coming to North America adopted an Alonquin name after mistaking the Wapiti for "Elk", since the Moose is largely-absent from the English-speaking parts of Europe) are a pretty iconic animal to Canada, and every Canadian is obligated, upon hearing mention of the animal, to point out to Americans that if you hit one with your car, you will total the car and send the Moose careening through the windshield because it's body is so high up. I actually know a guy this happened to- he was mostly OK, but the animal gave him lice because it was LYING ON TOP OF HIM AND HE COULDN'T GET OUT. They're easily the most hardcore of the Deer family, being larger than horses by a considerable ways, and they'd be much more popular as a megafauna species if they weren't so downright goofy-looking, with their giant nose, beady eyes and big, waddly neck-thingie (if you'll forgive the scientific terminology).

-Moose populations are dropping across North America due to numerous factors, like habitat loss, global warming, increased wolf populations, and more. But still, a VERY big, strong animal, and at a way higher level than the rest of its family, or the Wolves that hunt them, meaning that Wolves generally have to use team tactics, or exhaust the animal during a long chase. Moose are notably stronger and nastier than Horses, and would win in a fight. Only a handful of predators would dare take them on- Brown Bears, Tigers, Wolf Packs and Cougars are known to prey on them, but generally only females or younger specimens. As inaccurate, but highly-powerful, animals, they're a pretty dire threat to predators that are generally much smaller.

Toy Description: Another stand-out guy, namely for his giant antlers, the Moose nonetheless has a pretty forgettable color scheme (light brown- lighter than a real moose- and pastel green). And I gotta say, this is the most FRAGILE THING ON EARTH- those giant antlers spread the full length of this boxy Beast's shoulders, yet are attached by stems about three millimeters wide. Very, very precarious. He's got pretty detailed armor, though- and that WEAPON. His giant golden weapon looks super-cool, and is probably the best feature of this character. Oddly, he has a "33" on the right boot, and a "2" on the left. His left boot has a peg-hole in it.

Colors: Four. His body is a light caramel brown, and his armor a very light, pastel blue/green. His eyes and Secondary Colors are red. The fourth color is just for his yellow/tan antlers.

Armor: A big boxy two-piece, with quite a lot of detail. The Chest Symbol is over the left breast, while the right features a box of equal size with two little circles placed on top. He has red "headlights" on the shoulders next to his head- they are visible on the front and back. His kneepads and shoulder pads project out rather far, with little "spires" on the end of his shoulders.

Weapon: A giant, distinctive five-pronged sword-thing of sorts, with a very short hilt. It points right up in the middle, with two smaller spires poking off of it- two, much larger spires are at the edges. Like many of the "Gold Weapons", it's quite big and stand-outish.

Easily-Broken Bits: I would bet actual money that this guy's antlers are the most-vulnerable thing in the entire line- they are HUGE and broad, yet attached by the most spindly little stems, that I can't imagine many kids were able to keep them intact. His ears- teensy little spikes- are probably easy to damage as well, along with his shoulder spikes.

Had it as a Kid: Yep- armless and antler-less.

Variants: None known.

Overall Score: 7/10 (very distinctive, but not overly fantastic except for that set of antlers)

Haha, took another month break. At this rate, it'll be YEARS before I finish posting these .

-Bulldogs are one of the silliest-looking dog breeds, but still pretty handy in a scrap, given their famous tenacity when holding on to something. They will. not. let. go. Their build is largely based around being weak normally, but having a relatively-strong bite for their size that is really hard to break, given the creature's tiny, but robust size. Bulldogs are rather notable for rapid specification of the breed- older paintings of Bulldogs show a much healthier, balanced animal than the modern ungainly, huge-headed breed. Bulldogs were bred for "Bull-Baiting", a particularly cruel sport that would see various dogs attempting to pin a bull to the ground- this would typically result in the deaths of numerous animals. The current Bulldog could not manage this- they were interbred with Pugs to grow shorter, funnier-looking muzzles. Many dogs with this type of head shape are incapable of breeding properly- I've seen documentaries on someone having her expensive Dogue du Bourdeax being put under and C-sectioned in order to produce a litter of puppies.

Toy Description: Another one of the weakest in the line, sadly. Despite a pretty cool color scheme (one of the only Beasts with black armor), he's rather plain, and isn't even an exotic animal! Most interesting is his weapon- a long cane, and his face- one of the more well-detailed looks in the line. He's got a big grin, wrinkles, a detailed nose, and even teeth- though it's all the same brown color. There's a "51" on the back of his neck, and oddly, two "2"s hidden in the recesses of his boots. His left boot has a peg-hole in it.

Armor: Very "Standard Issue" one-piece armor, connected in the back. Most of it is quite rounded, especially his knee and shoulder-pads- even his wrist-guards are actually cylindars! He has more of a Secondary Color than most Beasts, as there are large red rectangles coming down from the shoulders, and triangles besides his Chest Symbol. There's also a red headlight on his crotch. There's a large "box" on his back, and the aforementioned "2" recesses on his boots.

Weapon: A very large bronze cane. One of the plainest, yet rather interesting, weapons in the line.

Hands & Feet: Four-fingered hands, and very odd feet. They don't have toes- they actually resemble large mechanical horseshoes of a sort.

Don't be fooled! That dog face is fantastic! Super contoured and anyone with a modicum of paint skills can really make it pop. Side note, do you know if there is anyplace I can buy a modicum of paint skills?

Don't be fooled! That dog face is fantastic! Super contoured and anyone with a modicum of paint skills can really make it pop. Side note, do you know if there is anyplace I can buy a modicum of paint skills?

Well, I've discovered a secret technique. It's called "do it every day and screw up constantly in order to develop experience!" It only takes a few years .

-Arthropods are a HUGE group of creatures, and contain both the Lobsters & Crabs, and the Insects & Arachnids. Yup, every time you eat a lobster, you're eating a giant Sea Bug. Insects are by FAR the largest group of animals in the world, containing nearly 90% of ALL different species on the planet. Hugely diverse, they are nonetheless linked by various factors. They all have three pairs of legs, a three-segmented body (the origination of their name is Latin for "cut into sections") containing a head, thorax and abdomen, a pair of antennae, and an exoskeleton (ie. they lack true bone matter). Most are winged and can fly, but others (the Ants, actually related to the Wasps) don't- only the male Ants in a colony ever develop wings. Some are good at stealth (Stick Insects), others are hunters (Mantids, Dragonflies), some are team players (Ants & the Bee/Wasp/Hornet group), and others are solitary (some Beetles). Some are pretty (Butterflies) and others are hideously awesome (Stag Beetles). They're pests the world-over (especially Fleas, Mosquitos & Cockroaches), and have proven how awesome they are by virtue of the fact that while everything else walking goes extinct easily, they will always be around, and likely surpass even us should we wipe each other out.

-Centipedes and Millipedes are closely related, and are notably among the grossest things ever- giant poisonous centipedes can kill and devour MICE.

-There's also the Arachnids, the eight-legged super-creatures of nightmares- Spiders, Tarantulas & Scorpions, among others. They have two parts to their bodies, and various types of eyes. Emperor Scorpions are HUGE, but less poisonous than smaller ones. Ticks & Mites are also part of this group.

Toy Description: One of the most-recognizable and iconic Beasts in the entire line, the Spider is the only arachnid in a line that also contains no insects, making him a true rarity- the line's only "Bug". And he's VERY well-detailed, too- an eight-eyed head, giant yellow fangs, and a weird red "Sarlacc Pit" of a mouth. He even has six extra arms- two smaller ones by his head (not raised off of the armor), and two large pairs on his shoulders. his waist cinches extremely tightly, and his legs pop out from the sides. The "#27" is on the back of his armor, along with the copywrite info, and a tiny "B" is on his left boot. These long, fragile limbs completely alter his silhouette, and are the only thing like it in the line. Even though I've had a Spider for years, and have thus grown "accustomed" to him, I can easily tell that he's one of the best Beasts around. Only the fact that he seems rather "common" diminishes him.

Colors: Four- his body is dark grey, and his armor a light, pastel purple. His eyes and mouth are blood red, and his fangs and headpieces are yellow. Oddly, his armor has no Secondary Color on the body- his extra arms seem to operate as this.

Armor: A simple one-piece set, though oddly showing none of his sides (most armor sets are in two pieces, connected at one or two points)- It almost fits like a one-piece swimsuit, as his legs pop out from armor with no codpiece. His armor isn't overly-detailed, as if to prevent distracting from his odd body and torso. Two tiny yellow headpieces are on the back of his head.

Weapon: A very large, stylized "U"-shaped weapon- one end is straight and pointed, the other kind of loops a bit, and has three hollow points etched into it.

Hands & Feet: One mitten-like hand, and pointy, toe-less feet. His left hand ends in a peculiarly-shaped hand that's more or less like the right, but is opened.

Easily-Broken Bits: Oh geez. Four very thin arms on his arms and shoulders. I'm astonished any of these made it out of the eighties.

Had it as a Kid: Yes- an armless one missing most of his extra arms, too.

Famous for being night-time hunters, Owls use exceptionally-good hearing to find their way around in darkness. Their ears are set inside those little "discs" on their faces, with one ear slightly above the other, allowing them to know exactly where the sounds are emanating from. Knight Owl here could be almost any kind of species, given his rather "generic" features- he lacks the distinctive horns of the Great Horned Owl, but they could have simply been left off the model. He doesn't really resemble a barn owl too much, either.

Toy Description: A very well-detailed, distinctive Beast, though for some reason I often forget about him. But really, he's one of the only FIVE-colored Beasts out there, he's got a TON of details all over his figure, and even his wings and feet are completely-unique. He's really well-done.

His brown body is covered in "fur" details, and his wings are very stubby, making him look flightless. His armor is a one-piece with more of a "bikini cut" than other Beasts- his legs come right out the sides, lacking the codpiece. His feet have four toes, splayed out diagonally from each other. His face is lighter than his body (like a barn owl's) and his eyes are different colors (one is cybernetic and green, the other red)- there are even three colors on his ARMOR! A couple of tiny details on his back- "46" on his back, and a little "2" on his right boot. His left boot has a peg-hole.

Colors: Five- a rarity. His body is light brown, and his armor is dark blue. He has a light brown/yellow face and beak, and one red eye. His armor also has red all over it- two panels (covered in six circles each) on each breast, a "vent" of sorts on his crotch, and four red spheres below that. He also has light brown/yellow on his armor- two large strips on the shoulders, and two lines pointing from the red panels to his Chest Symbol.

Armor: A one-piece, cut without a codpiece- a strip of metal covers his crotch that comes down right from the boxy torso. All of the colors break up the physically-larger armor quite well. Oddly, he has no shoulder-pads whatsoever, even his "boots" are merely shin-guards.

Weapon: A red/bronze short-sword of sorts, with a spade-shaped blade- two side-bits swoop off and point down from the triangular center.

Hands & Feet: Mitten-like hands. His feet are peculiar- four talons, all splayed out diagonally from a centre-point.

Easily-Broken Bits: His tiny wings seem easily-broken, though they're short enough to avoid the worst damage comparted to the other birds.

Had it as a Kid: Yes- he's in better shape than almost all of the others, but is sadly missing his left arm.

-Pillager Pig is pretty clearly a domesticated pig, with the species unclear (plenty of them are pink, though rarely this shade of bubblegum). The Boar's domesticated relative, the Pig, is much-less impressive, but still dangerous if crossed, given its impressive size and weight. Domestication of the Pig was a HUGE boon to mankind, as the fat, quick-growing creatures were an excellent food source.

Toy Description: You wouldn't think a pink-colored bipedal pig would make a bad-ass toy. I mean, it's a PIG- one of the least-dignified of all animals. But then, you don't know Battle Beasts. Sure enough, this Pig that I'd never thought much of as a kid actually looks REALLY COOL when he's all 100% intact. I think it comes down to the color scheme- it's not like they gave him any particularly-cool details, and they only used three colors and little tiny details here or there. But pink and red go together startlingly-well. Add to that he's got one of the coolest weapons in the series (so detailed it almost looks like it came from a different line), and you've got a really good figure.

Physically, he's rather generic as Beasts go, though he has some good detailing on his face- wrinkles around his eyes and snout give him some character. There's no letters or numbers on him, but his left foot has a peg-hole. And he's one of the only pink figures in the entire line.

Colors: Three- his body is bright pink, and his armor is straight red. His eyes and part of his armor are bright yellow.

Armor: A simple two-piece, with a very boxy front (his Symbol is on the right breast, while the other has a very large set of yellow rectangles made into a tall rectangular shape). However, his shoulder and knee-pads are extremely-rounded, making a contrast- they even have semi-spherical projections sticking off of them. His wrist-guards have tiny spikes sticking off of two sides.

Weapon: A very long spear that ends in a two-pronged crossguard with a diamond-shaped spearhead on the top. Like the rest of his series, it's light grey.

Hands & Feet: Mitten-like hands, and cloven-hoofed feet.

Easily-Broken Bits: His ears are rather short, but could probably get worn off at the points. Also, as his skin is a bright pink, I'd imagine it can suffer from fading at the edges. My good one has a bit of graying at the snout.

Had it as a Kid: Yes- an armless one. I think is is why I disregarded him for so long- he looks silly without them.

-War Weasel is named for a creature officially called the "Least Weasel". Weasels are notorious in myth for being sneaky (weaseling out of things is what separates us from the ANIMALS... except the weasel), tricky creatures, owing to their great stealth and ability to fit just about anywhere. This has led to a rather villainous reputation (The Wind in the Willows uses Weasels & Stoats as general dicks who actively hurt everyone and steal everything- fellow mustelid Badger is a good-natured ally), but some cultures, naturally many Native American ones among them, respect them as wise, crafty creatures. In one culture, the Least Weasel could kill the infamous Wendigo by crawling up its anus (the fuuuu....?). Among the most far-reaching of predators, they can be found all over the damn place, but there's no one particular "weasel"- the Least Weasel is the closest, and is the smallest Carnivore in existence. Despite their tiny size (less than a pound), they are capable of hunting animals as big as RABBITS, via exhausting the rabbits through a long, medium-speed chase, then capturing the animal in a death-grip and CRUSHING ITS SKULL AND NECK.

Toy Description: I definitely recall everyone who owned these guys thinking that the Weasel was the most bad-ass of the characters. Something about him just screams "cool"- I think it's the gas-mask combined with the gun-arm. It implies a vicious, cybernetic, "Wolverine-like" character. Naturally, I put him in that role on my "Heroic" side as a kid- while he looks just as evil as many of the other Beasts, he got the token "so evil-looking he HAS to be the dynamic, dark-natured hero" role.

The character is a bit generic in many ways- three colors, pretty simple armor, and the copywrite info written on a big "box" on the back of his armor. His color scheme's a bit odd, but not really a stand-out- blue & orange. But the total package comes together very well- you can absolutely see this guy as the "Bad-Ass Hero" character on any given team- he's one of the only Beasts with an obscured face (joining the Boar & Skunk). He's also the benefactor of having one of the most-obvious "Variants" out there- his normal version is a dark orange, but his VARIANT is now a pastel, dark pink color. The other colors are different as well- a much darker shade of blue and green.

Colors: Three- his body is dark orange. His armor is dark blue, and his eyes & Secondary Color are a bright, neon/pastel green. The Variant instead has dark, pastel pink skin, a much darker shade of blue for the armor (which is also quite glossy), and a darker shade of green for the other bits.

Armor: A two-piece, connected on the front. It's well-detailed, but not spectacular, featuring rounded shoulder-pads and very large boots. Two sets of paired green headlights sit next to the Chest Symbol, while tiny headlights are on the kneepads. Two tubes run from the neck to his face, resulting in a deathly-looking gas-mask with little holes cut into it.

Weapon: A long polearm ending in an abstract dark grey weapon, like a lot of guys from his series (the Bison & Horse have similar gear). It looks like a giant "C", with a piece hanging down from the back, and the lower curve sticking out much further from the top one- like a giant underbite. It's quite blunt, as well.

Hands & Feet: Mitten-like hands, and three-toed feet. His left arm ends in a large automatic rifle, with semi-spheres printed all over to give it detail.

Easily-Broken Bits: None.

Had it as a Kid: Yes- one of very, VERY few original Beasts I have that maintain their original condition. There's just some paint-wear on him and that's it- I LOVED this guy, and made sure he always looked good.

Variants: Yes- a very different-looking semi-pink colored one. Darker shades for the other two colors as well- there's no mistaking the two for the other- only Jaded Jag has a more-noticeable variant. There's also one that's likely a factory error, as he has an unpainted crotch- it's just orange like the rest of him.

Sire Horse is a Domesticated Horse. A symbol of grace and freedom, Horses are a very iconic animal, and no wonder. They're easily one of the Top Five most important animals ever to humanity's overall development (I'd consider that to be: Horses, Dogs/Wolves, Rodents, Goats/Sheep & Pigs), becoming the masterful plow-draggers, mounts and generally-helpful animals of all time. They're one of the few animals we can ride with any kind of regularity- only a few others are even capable of being ridden well (even if willing, a Tiger and its flexible spine hardly make for ideal riding conditions), and only the horse perfectly combines size, power, loyalty, intelligence, hardiness, and endurance.

-Horses also make great animals when "Mixed" with other stuff- they appear in myths and legends with wings, horns, fins and can even be mixed with Griffins to produce Hippogriffs! "Horse, But Different" animals are one of my favourite things in fantasy fiction, and are generally a sign that the creators put a bit more thought into things than most. I use the trope so much that the Horse comes off as a rather plain, nothing mount in any world *I* create, but they're a great, boring "Base Animal".

-Unusually, they are descended from much smaller animals- one of the few animal types at the apex of its evolutionary size. Ancient horses were very tiny things like Eohippus. The common Horse's relatives include the Zebra, Wild Ass (which led to the modern domesticated Donkey), Przewalksi's Horse, the Onager, and a few others. The only wild horses in existence today are merely feral herds of the descendents of freed pets and mounts- the animal was so useful to humanity that the wild-ness got bred right out of them.

-Horses are fairly slow to breed, and childbirth can be frought with complications, which is why careful breeding is so important. There's only been a few instances of multiple births (I was reading a book by TV's Dr. Pol where he describes the shock of finding a horse giving birth to THREE foals!), and in most of those cases, only one foal typically survives. Though not given a reputation for ferocity, Horses can be quite violent, especially in feral and wild herds- rival males will get into violent brawls over fillies, usually descending into huge kicks to the head.

Toy Description: This guy was one of my favorites as a kid, and one of the few that remains intact from my childhood. He's pretty plain, all things considered, but stands out thanks to a distinctive color (blue and blue- notably non-Horse-like colors) and his sheer size- in terms of sheer mass, he's probably the largest single Beast in the entire line. The Horse is simply HUGE- he's a full head taller than the Owl, half a head taller than the Weasel, and is even WIDE. This cuts one of the most-distinctive characters in the line, standing so much bigger than the others. My own personal continuity was that he was one of the main generals of the heroes- a noble powerhouse. He's got some good details as well- a mane (same color as his body), a frown full of flat teeth (not painted), and a very-detailed helmet that includes robotic-looking ears.

Colors: Three- his body is a very light blue, and his armor is a darker shade. His eyes and Secondary Color are bright red.

Armor: A two-piece, connected on the front. It's more "rounded" than most, with even the red bits being curved- four rectangular bars swooping down from the sides of the neck towards the Symbol, which is closer to the belly. He also has a red "vent" on the crotch. Notably, the hips of his codpiece stick out quite a ways, breaking up his silhouette and drawing attention to the "swoop" of his chest bits. He has a large helmet, adding a jawline-bracing guard, ears, and a little strip on the top of his head. It's backless, allowing for a mane. His boots are very rounded as well, bulging out in the middle, and his shoulder pads swoop down from the edges towards his joints.

Weapon: Like a lot of the "Dark Grey Weapon" guys, he's got a slightly-abstract, large polearm. In his case, it's a very tall, elongated axe, with a lot of round cut-out features on the back.

Hands & Feet: Mitten-like hands, and one-toed feet.

Easily-Broken Bits: None. However, his light-blue plastic body is somewhat-prone to miscoloring at the pronounced edges, like his muzzle and hooves.

Had it as a Kid: Yes- one of the very few to maintain both of his arms over the years.