563 Most Impressive.

I swear I must have used this title before… I’m not checking, but I’m almost certain I have. Not that it matters, but whatever.

Let’s see… Okay, I beat Portal Void Zero, or whatever the Hell that DSiware game I was talking about was called. I didn’t do a very good job of finding stuff, so I’m playing through again. As it’s only three levels it’s hardly a big deal. The odd thing is that I actually want to. Usually when I beat a game I’m done with it forever. With Dark Void Zero (?) once I got to the end I just wanted there to be more. It is a super well done throwback. (Aparently the game’s history is fictional. I didn’t read any further than a couple of reviews so I took my random sources at their word… Not that it matters.) They could do more of the same an I’d be right there waiting to get it. It’s kind of like NES style gaming as close to perfected as you can get for a handheld system. Simple, easy to pick up and put down, and fun. I expect if I played the game that this one was made to promote I wouldn’t like it because it would be all up its own ass trying to be epic. Now, if I had a vote in the process for making another Dark Portal Alien Shooty Fun Time I would say “Keep it like it is except make the graphics SNES style… Also, Space Nazis”

I like that kind of game. Running around a level shooting, or whipping as the case may be, hordes of generic monsters. Castlevania, Metroid, Megaman, that kind of thing, get me? Give me more of that done well. This simple NES throwback is more fun that all of the Megaman ZX games. I finished those as fast as I could because they lacked that special something that other games had. I’m not saying that old games are better, far from it. Most of them sucked, but somewhere along the way people began to forget what made the good ones worth playing in favor of flash. If Metalokalypse has taught me anything it’s that you can’t get by on zazz alone.

As long as I’m at it, there’s another thing about this retro gaming thing that I’m concerned about. It’s that just because you’re paying homage to a certain time that doesn’t mean you have to bring back the shitty parts as well. I know it’s cute to be like ‘We made it just like the old games!’ but there were things about old games that blew. Go ahead and let us save the game whenever so we don’t have to start over because the meeting started. Don’t try to mimic screen flicker. That’s dumb as hell. Who liked screen flicker? For the love of God don’t use a password system! That is just crazy. Take the good, leave the bad… I can’t stress this enough.

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