Part One: Last Stand of the Zandaas;ldfjas;lfkjasf OGOD

Part One: Last Stand of the Zandas;ldfjas;lfkjasf OGOD

It’s a Love/Hate RelationshipAs a goblin, my love is directly inverse to the amount of near death involved.

Okay, so, I’m not going to lie. While Feign Death was incredibly useful for me as a huntard, you know what’s even MORE useful for me, as a player in general? Reincarnation! This does not always mean that I succeed on my next attempt at living (nor will I necessarily help anybody at all by getting myself off the ground), but hey, at least I get another shot at sacrificing my dignity on the altar of derp.

Reintarnation!It’s a state of being.

We had a grand total of nine people for the night, as the tenth didn’t show and the guild team Does Not Pug. Still, we decided to keep on trucking. On the Jin “the Zap” Rokh fight, I managed to get myself nuked super-dead by first getting smacked with a ball of lightning, and then Reincarnating too close too an electrified puddle. I didn’t think I was in the puddle, but apparently I was! SITUATIONAL AWARENESS, I HAZ IT. There are a couple things to take away from this. Number one, wow, holy crap, the lightning is like super bad here. Number two, I have just scientifically proven that lightning does strike twice – with my face.

Kinda Sorta Still Kinda Sorta CountsIt didn’t look puddly to me.

Any dreams I had of not coming across as a hopeful prospect and not “derpity derp derp derp” were pretty much gone at this point. Fortunately, the other members of the raid team are both geared and good. That meant that when the other healer got taken out too, they still beat him. Hooray for my deaths not causing everybody to die!

Or Not BAD, PersayJust not terribly effective either.

If you think the next boss I derped on was Horridon, you’re wrong. It was actually the bridge. (I DID derp on Horridon, but I’ll get to that in a minute.)

We have two warlocks, both of whom positioned their demonic gateways in such a way as to lead to almost certain death. They also coordinated via whisper and switched up the gate destination (so that one’s starter gate was not directly in front of his end gate), and then they presented it as a “hey, trust MY gateway, not his!” sort of situation. (As a side note, one of the locks actually died to his own trick while laughing his ass off – not saying who.) Since I’m me, and I have some issues with edges that are too close making me fall off them by accident, I elected to go Ghost Wolf form and run the distance rather than take a gate so close to the consequences of gravity.

First thought: Wow, the wind’s a whole lot stronger! Jeebus, I’m so so close to the edge, lemme Rocket Jump to get some breathing ro …

Second thought: HOLY SHEEYIT I’M FLYING WOW

See, in LFR, the floaty blue spirit trolls do two things. They freak you out by dangling their enormous weird toes right above your head, and they do a bit of damage so that you are inspired to get away from their beam of light. So I was ready to get pushed into a beam by the wind. I had my finger on the healthstone button and all. It’s just … well, nobody told me that in normal, the floaty spirit trolls also launch you off the bridge.

Horri-“hell-this isn’t so bad, or wait, maybe it is”-don was truly an eye-opener. In LFR, I am accustomed to trying to live through a variety of bad ouchy things like the whole raid getting double swiped, or shamantanking the adds because the offtank is off somewhere. In a normal run with a guild group that’s gone through the place before, it’s actually rather nice and comparatively calm. You never wind up staring Horridon in the face (or tail)! In short, it was going GREAT until I stood in poison. I was too busy marveling at my survival to actually survive.

Fortunately, with two warlocks and a druid, we got an excess of battle resses for people like me. I am pretty sure that whenever I show up, someone will have an additional role: “Beth’s battle resser.”

Look At How Healthy We Are!You can credit that 75% to the other healer. Yep.

The methodology I adopted on the fly (after I got picked up again) worked well for healing and for surviving the rest of the fight. In short, closely follow the people who know where they’re going! “Stay away from the frost things, ’cause they’ll mess your sheeyit up.” Ok, as long as you do, I do too! “Stay away from totems, because ditto.” No problem as long as I’m your shadow! It sounds totally dependent and it probably is, but if it works, it works. Right?

Now, the Council fight was the one that terrified me (in concept) the most. SO MUCH potential crap could happen, but there’s only so much of me! Of course, I actually lived on this one. (Say whaaaaaaaaaat?) I was healing the tanks for this one, which was both a relief and a source of great terror. On the one hand, there are only two of them! Sweet! On the other, DAMAGE THERE IS DAMAGE AND OGOD DEAR SWEET JEEBUS if they die and we don’t/can’t get them up, we die. So suffice it to say I got a little tunnel-visioned, as best evidenced by this paraphrased Vent exchange:

Raid Leader: Beth, get away from the panther.Me: What? Get away from the panzer? (while thinking, “wait just a second, the trolls get tanks in normal!?”)Pretty Much Everybody: PanTHer. PanTHER. The cat! The shadow thing!Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!Tank: Uh, I think she’s focused on healing.

I must also report that frantically double-clicking does not make your spells cast any faster.

After that, we decided to start the Forgotten Depths.

When Happiness ConflictsTrauma ensues.

I mentioned before that we were at nine people. It just so happened to be one of the tanks, which in turn caused the group’s rogue to switch to his blood DK to cover for him. The fact he was able to switch was great, of course. The fact that he is is like the DREAM rogue (everything that my poor Bombelina is never going to ever be able to be) meant that we were without one of the highest DPSers! As a result, we didn’t really have much intention of trying Meggies. Tortos, however, we thought we could take.

Having now completed the fight in both LFR and normal, I think I can safely say that I hate it in all the freaking modes ever. Don’t get me wrong, it’s “fun” in that it’s chaotic and geeze all the things, but as a caster who has to hold still to cast sheeyit most of the time, the inability to stay put for very long makes the fight kiiiiinda sucky. Spiritwalker’s Grace (enabling me to cast while moving, a.k.a., when turtles have tossed me up into the air) only lasts for so long. I tried to wedge myself into the far corner by Tortos’ one leg where I could see the tanks (was on tank duty), but that wasn’t any good either, because it meant I had a harder time seeing the circles/falling rocks that were aiming directly for my skull.

Dear ceiling stalactites: WHAT HAS MY SKULL DONE TO YOU!? FALL ON TORTOS FOR ONCE, WILL YOU!?

Dear bats: GTFO, I’m serious. Nobody likes you.

Dear turtles: For eff’s sake, will you die in a more convenient spot? Urgh!

After a few circle/turtle/Stone Breath related wipes, we finally managed to kill him. Of course, he didn’t drop a thing that anybody could actually use (Lord forbid he do that), so we disenchanted all the loot and … hearthed out.

If I can still see him …Then I haven’t beaten him to a fine enough pulp yet.

2 thoughts on “Part One: Last Stand of the Zandaas;ldfjas;lfkjasf OGOD”

Hey there, guild hunter stopping by not only to tell you I read this and the prologue, but to tell you that you did fantastic. I’m quite proud, and I can’t wait to see how ya do in more bosses! Who knows, maybe you’ll get Ahead of the Curve: Lei Shen!