If the Stones had cut "Street Fighting Man" today, they almost surely would have fucked it up. It'd be an over-produced nightmare.

I can't wait for the next episode of American Idol.

I think Larry King should be a special guest judge.

You can cut the racial tension between between Simon and Randy with a knife. You can cut the sexual tension between Simon and Randy with a knife.

I think Simon LeBon should be a special guest judge. I think he should be a contestant.

I think there should be a celebrity version of American Idol. I predict Billy Idol will barely edge Aretha Franklin in the final episode. It will have the highest ratings since the Ruben-Clay final. Simon will hurt Vanilla Ice's feelings in the auditions round.

Will Paula Abdul ever organize an album to benefit victims of tragedy?

Will Fantasia ever find true love?

Millions of aging Japanese women have accepted Clay Aiken. When will his own parents finally accept him?