Friday, October 31, 2008

Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The time has really gone by fast, praise our Lord. I'm going in early to do my last yucky chemo in the morning. That is assuming my white blood cell count is up and I feel like it will be. Three weeks later I will begin my 2 round of treatment which they say is a "piece of cake" compared to this one.Everytime my treatment rolls around I have been charged up for it....I know that it is our God because the natural man would be in dread. I praise God that He is so faithful, He is so attentive to our cry. While others don't always understand, He gets it...."He is acquainted with all sorrow". While others have loved me so faithfully, I know they get tired but He "never grows tired or weary, He has engraved my name on the palm of His hand".Last night at Bible Study we we're talking about how we will get a new name in heaven. I've wondered why....I believe it is so we will totally be defined by Him and His thoughts toward us, even our new name that He will give us. Everytime someone will call us by our new name, we will be associated only with Him. His belief of who we are........we haven't yet received our new names but we do have His belief of who we are......."But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a Holy nation, a people for God's own possession that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." What a beautiful thought that I belong to Him, I am His possession. It's important to know "who" you belong to when your in the fire. He has stayed with me the whole time, never leaving me and being long-suffering with me when I needed time.....He has grieved with me.....walked with me in the wilderness and yes, prepared a table there. I have feasted with our King in the wilderness, the Bread of Life and the fresh Living Water. He has been my sustainer and my joy.......I sit here with tears remembering how many times He has lifted my head......."

even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Thou dost prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; Thou hast anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows"...........He has caused my cup to overflow!!! As Corrie Ten Boom said, "there is no pit that is deep, that He is not deeper still".I pray my cup will overflow to others tomorrow in the chemo room...........I am indebted to you for your love and prayers....thank you!Love to all,

I ask her how she is feeling and her response is "well Robin I don't want

to make this something it's not, it's do-able."

I watch in wonder and listen to her voice stay the same.Fears I'm sure creep in when she closes her eyes buther arrows go up. Her father protects and knows.He has not forsaken her or forgotten her.He knows every single hair that has scattered to the ground.He has caught every single tear and counted them all.He has held her body and whispered in her ear. You are beautiful,but not because of you, but because of Me.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The morning always brings the patter of 'little feet' to my bed. Without fail as the sun rises up above the pasture and darkness fading my door slowly opens. I wonder this morning who the morning will bring.

It's almost always someone different.

They must try and be the first to get to snuggle with mommie and daddie.

Those priceless few mins before the world wakes up.

On this morning it was Coop. He was HOT and coughing and I knew by the pressing of my lips on his soft forehead that he had a fever. He snuggled down and started sharing with me how bad he felt. I reassured him that he would be fine and the medicine would make him feel better soon.

I piled him up on the couch and couldn't keep his brothers from sharing in his pain. They hovered around him like sparrows with a new nest full of babies.

As the afternoon wore on the hot cheeks and complaints of the rest started coming. All four of the little ones had fevers and headaches.

This is when you realize having lots of little ones is not for the faint of heart.

The complaints of everyone must be heard. Someone is always feeling worse than someone else.

The days moves own. The hours drag by.The feeling of everyone is on edge. Short tempered, tired, and my man is not expected homeuntil late.He decides he is needed more here and leaves his meeting to come home early.Fresh perspective and a fresh set of nerves he comes in and makes it all better.Everyone is relived when daddy is home.He is our Super-man.......

I started wondering if I take that much comfort in my Heavenly Father. If in His presence I let him make everything better.If when I'm scared or sick or wondering of the un-knowns I let Him in to give me a new perspective.

Not feeling my best this new morning I start out again with a fresh new day. Channie was the first in our bed and lips to forehead the warmth still there. One by one they file in red cheeked and grumpy and I know at once that I'm thankful for days like this. Off schedule, blankets in the floor, movies on the tv,and lots of patience and hugs....

My superman left and a few mins later my freezer went out...I called his number and he responded with such strength as always. "Don't worry I'll take care of it."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

On Friday morning I said my good-byes to my hubby and two oldest.They were going camping for the weekend. Shelter on their back, food in their pack and nothing but wide open spaces and memories to build.Scott is so good about spending time building memories with the kids.I realized that I'm spoiled.No foot rubs, no read me to sleep, no time with Tay watching girly movies.

I spent the weekend with my four babies. It was great fun watching movies and eating way to many snacks.They all piled up in my floor when it was time for bed. When Scott called to tuck me in I made him promise not to leave me again for along time. He did...............................

Saturday, October 11, 2008

soldier who moves and fights largely on foot; infantrymana person who does the hard or routine work at the lowest levels of an organization, group, etc.

As I get my "un-expected" marching orders from the Lord I set out on my wobbly feet and wonder if I can do this.But I marchI check with Him again this morning just to make sure he hasn't changed His mind.I march.I feel as though my feet have been down this path yet it's so unfamilier at the same time.I march.I feel blisters from my last orders I recieved.but I continue to marchI'm not sure I'm the best one for the job to be carried out but I have told Him how un-worthyI am and He assures me He knows.So I march.The wind blowing, the rain coming, and the hill in front of me is all un-known but Imarch toward the One who called me to march and know that His plan is better.

I find myself slowly looking back down the road I've been marching and wonder thistime if my road will fork.Wondering this time if my orders will be changed.Yet, I march on and press in to my Father because He is the only onewho knows how bruised and broken I am. He is the only one who knows,how bad it hurts. He is the one that called me, so I will march to bring Him glory and know thatin the end it's His will not mine.

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"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."