I spend a lot of time thinking about cultural differences and the "rules" of society. It's not surprising, given that Germany is such a rules-based culture, but I think this is a big part of every expat's life. One cannot live overseas without realizing that a lot of assumptions on how one "should" conduct oneself in various situations is a result of cultural conditioning. And then there are the entirely new scenarios that one may have never before experienced, and therefore has no context for gauging appropriate behavior. Beer gardens fall into this category, as they are an entirely German construct. Therefore, it helps to have a little background on appropriate beer garden behavior before throwing oneself head first into this cultural landmine (also, it might just make things a little easier, since beer gardens can be a bit chaotic and confusing for a newbie). Here, I have come up with a list of basic do's and don'ts of the beer garden:

10 Basic Do's and Don'ts of the Beer Garden

1. DO:Ride your bike to the beer garden, as many of the best beer gardens are difficult to reach with public transportation. Rent one of the many bikes available for rent around the city and have a full "beer gardens on bike" day.

2. DON'Tget so intoxicated that riding a bike becomes a danger. The police in Germany do ticket cyclists, and tickets for riding a bike drunk can even add points to your driver's license.

3. DO Bring your own food for a beer garden picnic, including a nice tablecloth and your best cutlery.

4. DON'TBring your own drinks or try to stealthily sneak food into the table service zone. Look for the long tables with benches, where you don't see any waiters or waitresses wandering around. That's your self-service zone and you can fully indulge in all the delicacies that you brought along without censure.

5. DORemember it's a marathon, not a sprint, and pace your consumption for maximum hours of enjoyment. Feel free to mix it up with a Radler (beer mixed with lemon soda like Sprite) or even an Apfelschorle (sparkling apple juice).

6. DON'TCall Radler a "girly drink"- real men drink Radler.

7. DORemember to bring small change to pay the people who clean the bathrooms. 50 cents is good.

8. DON'TGo to the bathroom too soon - because once you "break the seal," guaranteed you'll be running off to pee every 15 minutes. Wait as long as you possibly can. Seriously. This is important advice. Especially because the lines for the bathroom can be really really long.

9. DOProst every time anyone at the table gets a new drink. Even strangers. And why not- even the guys at the table behind you.

10. DON'TForget to look people in the eye when you Prost them. Toasting is a serious matter over here, and the unison clinking of glasses (I think of it as the Prostingequivalent of a group hug) isn't good enough- everyone gets an individual glass clink.