Thursday, August 6, 2009

Warning: Maintenance Ahead

As women we are grouped into one of two categories, ‘low-maintenance’ or ‘high-maintenance’. Neither seems particularly flattering. Are we people or cars? What do those terms actually mean? And, why would a lowly maintained woman be a good thing?

I’m not what you would call a scheduler, planner or organizer...which I suspect is a high-maintenance trait…unless we’re talking vacation…then I’ll throw one of those hats on long enough to book a fabulous hotel and a flight that lets me sleep in as late as possible (high-maintenance?). But in terms of the everyday blah, blah, blah…I’m pretty easy going (and therefore low-maintenance, right?).

O’course, ‘easy going’ in wifespeak means…if I don’t wanna do whatever it is that you’re doing, I probably won’t…but I also won’t complain about you doing it without me. I just like to be asked, if you don’t ask me along, I’m going to be upset…unless you’re going out for sushi…then don’t ask me…I don’t care (maintenance level uncertain).

After some light internet research I learned that high-maintenance refers to a shallow, emotionally needy, label whoring, drama queen...I know some of those. The low-maintenance woman is a bit harder to define…but by all accounts, she’s basically a dude with a vagina…I know one girl that I would truly describe as such…picture a white Whoopi Goldberg sans dreadlocks and an opinion.

Personally, while I find both labels equally irrelevant and silly…I’ve been called much worse so being categorized as either low or high maintenance neither describes nor offends me…in fact come to think of it…very little offends me…ma’am *cringe* I don’t like being called ma’am…oh and Becky…there is little that I hate more than being referred to as Becky.