Just WALK IN and buy an Apple Watch. Are you mad?

Follow these few simple steps, and wait a while

Apple has slapped some restrictions on early-bird madcap punters who want to part with hard-earned cash for a fancy wrist-job – they must shop only on white unicorns, bring virgin £50 notes and rap their order.

Alright, so the channel bully boy isn’t being quite as prescriptive with those that want to buy an Apple Watch, but a training document leaked to the specialist Mac press reveals the process. And a process it is.

Those desiring a strap-on have got a fortnight from the 10 April to log interest online. They are given a “try-on” appointment at one of Apple’s shiny retail temples before the order is shipped on 24 April.

The missive states the Apple is not permitting any walk-in purchases for the Apple Watch at launch. That would be crass consumerism, and this is Apple after all... you aren’t just buying a time piece.

Instead, shoppers must make an online "product reservation” to make sure a specific watch is held in a specific retail location. This is used as an alternative to Apple’s Personal Pick-up option.

“If a customer walks in and wants to purchase a watch, offer the option to try on a watch. Then help them place an order online or through the Apple Store app,” the document states.

But even the "try-on" appointments do not guarantee that a watch will be reserved, indicating that Apple is either again cleverly marketing the wearable to create demand or is forecasting sales more conservatively.

The shopping dictatorship expects to finally allow people walking into its iShops to simply buy one there and then once it stops pumping the market with hot air when the initial wave of interest dies down. How novel. ®