Who do you choose? Asian or Ginger

There’s a yellow whore with long black hair and big doe eyes, a ginger chick with massive melons, and G-strung. What do you do?

Wait, what the fuck just happened. You were all into G-strung, romantically kissing and what not. Now what’s going on? Oh, your hormones, your sex drive, is running rampant. That makes sense. So you are walking the street like a hunter. You’re a caveman, scouring. Your eyes are darting. You see the sun, the skyscraper, the Hyundai, the girl on bicycle (nice ass!), the dude with the busted up teeth, and then you happen to see this skinny Korean chick in a miniskirt with legs like chopsticks or stilts that jam into her hips sexily with long flowing black hair and big seductive eyes and you want to stick your dick in her. You have that hungry wolf look and she senses it. You make eye contact. She senses that you want to devour her. You are prepared for her to look away while you visually-rape her, stuffing your big white dick into her tight wet Asian pussy. But she doesn’t look away. She’s not intimidated. She’s strong. In fact, she winks at you.

Now you feel like a little kid. You’re suddenly awkward. You don’t know what to do or say all of a sudden.

You look away. Across the street, you see two massive tits baked onto the never sun-kissed skin of a ginger tightly cleavaged. The woman on whom the tits are attached is wearing a gown with a slit showing her pale, supple leg. A corset pulls every ounce of her jiggly titties into a taut, tight rugged Victorian look. On her head, where she wears her red hair up in a bun that pulls every last stray hair away from her eyes, she wears a solid gold corona. What the fuck is this? Why is there a redheaded queen standing across the street?

I always admired Roy Lichtenstein while I was growing up, but as I get older I wonder about the artist's legitimacy. Anyway, I digress. The art kicks ass and check out these comic strip poems that were inspired by Lichtenstein (except when they weren't).

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk Okay kids, let’s get real. Dialogue. Why is it so hard for so many people? Everybody talks, right? Everybody hears people talk, right? So why do the words on the page often feel wrong? The post Dialogue, Part One appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk No self-publishing lesson this week. I haven’t abandoned you, but I am having issues. I should be back on top of the column next week! The post Self-Publishing Lessons Errata: No Post Today appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk The traditional wisdom on reviews is: reviews sell books. And it's true, conditionally. So let’s think about this a moment. The post Self-Publishing Lessons 9: About Reviews, Part 1 appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk "Lay versus Lie." Written at the request of one of my favorite people, I’ve decided to occasionally address common grammatical snags. The post Grammar Snags: Lay Versus Lie appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk After this column on Thesis and Theme, you may be ready to attempt developmental editing for yourself. Just make sure you think deeply about theses first. The post Self-Publishing Lessons Part 8: Thesis and Theme appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk More on developmental self-editing: Flow and Outlining. Self-publishing lessons, part 7 by Callie Press The post Self-Publishing Lessons Part 7: Flow and Outlining appeared first on Callie Press.

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Dear Reader:Ok, first my name: Moctezuma. Why LXIX? Well, the “famous” Moctezuma is actually Moctezuma II. He’s the one that let Hernan Cortez into the Nahuatl city of Tenochtitlan and inadvertently caused the fall of the Aztec Empire. I come way later and with erotic smutpunk in my splattering blood. So I am installment number […]

To all True Believers,There have been a few SMUTPUNK books out in 2015 and 2016 so let me give you a few links if you don't mind. Callie PressTonguing Tromp: (Alpha Billionaire, Cuckold, Topical, Political, 2016 Presidential Election, Erotic, Romance, Domination, Current Events)Hot Wife Lyssa: Bundle #1Me Under Glass: Hot Wife Lyssa's Confessions #5The book […]

This week's sex tip is one of the great taboos. Getting tongue on your ass is a spectacular thing, but I suggest that a little maintenance and cleanliness can help get things rolling in the ass eating department. Hey, fellas, here are some manscaping tips.