Oh those wacky Teen Choice Awards. Though at this point is there ANY Awards show that can’t be called ‘wacky’? I think no. Still, the one that gives out surfboards (because I totally equate surfboards with teenagers) (no, I really don’t, I equate surfboards with surfer dudes and dudettes, which are actually not synonymous with teenagers at all) (wait is this a Dylan McKay thing?) (you know what still makes me lol every time? how Luke Perry gets “and Luke Perry” in the credits of The Fifth Element… that movie is amazing for many many reasons and I love it but I’d be lying if I discounted “and Luke Perry” as one of them) (wow, I’m way off topic), still, the Teen Choice Awards have an edge on wacky. And wacky fashions!

Oh Mr. Styles. Did you know there is a reality TV series Amish Mafia? Like, that is a real thing. On The Discovery Channel. This picture reminds me of that. Not that he looks Amish or Mafia…mostly he looks adorkable like he always does…but LOL, nonetheless.

I like Demi. She’s got a cool sound, she survived the Disney machine, she wants to be an inspiration to Girls Like Her and where I’m not totally convinced she’s there, hey she’s a kid and she’s trying (aside: anyone else find the “I’m over eighteen!” assertion during the random “let’s show off our tattoos” sequence with Kevin strange and borderline creepy? I really can’t stand our society’s relationship with age).

And of everybody at the Teen Choice Awards she looked the most likely to fight crime:

Admittedly, I’m not a teen, but the Teen Choice Awards bored me last night. The staging for the musical numbers was just dreadful (like, seriously, AWFUL), I don’t know WHAT hostess Somebody-from-Big-Bang-Theory (I don’t watch The Big Bang Theory — do teens?) and DJ will.i.am were doing, and the match-ups of presenter to recipient was even weirder than usual for an awards show (Zoe Saldana and Thor did the Harry Potter tribute. Obviously). And the fashion was just yaaaaawwwwwwwn-worthy. I didn’t think we’d have ANY Superheroine of the Night, but it turns out we have two. Because they were kind enough to match:

Last night’s Summer finale of Pretty Little Liars had my head spinning. There are so many characters and plots! And I missed the marathon (stupid work) so when {Spoiler!} was revealed as Alison’s secret boyfriend I was jumping up and down going Wait, which one is that?! I made even more of a scene about the fact that Aria’s nail polish in the final scenes was THE SAME AS IN THE CREDIT SEQUENCE (hot pink brightly lit due to the subdued “it’s the middle of the night” lighting). And then {Spoiler!} happened and, well, long story short, when does it start up again???

Anyway. The Liars walked the red-blue-green carpet at the Teen Choice Awards together and like the Sex and the City and Gossip Girls girls before them, they looked like a super-group (hero, villain, super-spy, or singing variety is up for debate):

I like how Lucy and Shay have their smiles (!) on, Troian looks like she’s purposefully not smiling but not not smiling (and setting herself slightly apart from the others) and Ashley is giving the camera the ‘this is so manufactured’ look. Let’s take them individually–

I don’t want to sound like a broken record but can someone PLEASE get on that Spider-Girl movie starring Selena as Anya Corazon? The comic is coming in November and a movie announcement would be GREAT launch, don’t you think? Selena is PERFECT for the role.

And this BCBG Max Azaria confection is lovely on the red-blue-green carpet. It’s architectural, especially with those shoes and the mini plus crazy cape sleeves put it high on the list of Superheroine of the Night. But what pushed her over the top was the back: