Three senior attorneys and a paralegal associated with Prenda Law have petitioned Judge Otis Wright for permission to skip Monday's court hearing, which is expected to focus on allegations of misconduct by the porn trolling firm. The Prenda officials claim that the late timing of the order—it was issued on March 5, just six days before the hearing was scheduled—makes the order unreasonable. And they continue to insist that they have no involvement in the case.

Originally, Judge Wright ordered the March 11 appearance of just one Prenda attorney: outside counsel Brett Gibbs, who has been representing the Prenda shell companies AF Holdings and Ingenuity 13 in California cases. Prenda stands accused of naming Alan Cooper of Minnesota as the CEO of these shell companies without Cooper's knowledge or permission. On February 19, Gibbs effectively bailed on Prenda, hiring his own lawyer and blaming unnamed "senior members" of Prenda for the alleged misconduct.

Judge Wright ordered Gibbs to name names on Wednesday, February 27. Gibbs responded by identifying Prenda's John Steele and Paul Hansmeier on Friday, March 1. On Tuesday, Judge Wright ordered Steele, Hansmeier, Prenda principal Paul Duffy, and Prenda paralegal Angela Van Den Hemel to appear in his courtroom the following Monday, March 11.

Innocent bystanders

On Friday, Steele and his colleagues filed a request for Judge Wright to withdraw his order. The attorneys insist that as non-California residents—Steele lives in Florida, Duffy lives in Illinois, and Hansmeier and Van Den Hemel live in Minnesota—they shouldn't be expected to fly to Los Angeles on six days' notice. And indeed, they claim they have no ties to California and argue the court therefore has no jurisdiction over them.

Steele and his colleagues also claim they shouldn't be expected to participate because they "are not parties and have not otherwise participated in this litigation... they effectively have 'no dog in this fight.'"

But defense attorney Morgan Pietz disagrees. In a Friday response, he pointed out that all four individuals have ties to California or the case. Steele "has frequently sent demand letters into the State of California," Pietz writes, and has given statements to the California press about his California litigation. AF Holdings chose to send Paul Hansmeier to California as a representative of AF Holdings last month. Duffy is a member of the California bar and has been personally involved in Prenda litigation in the state. And Van Den Hemel "was identified by Mr. Gibbs as being the person who violated this Court’s discovery order."

Pietz also urged Judge Wright to reject Steele's request because of the way Steele's request was filed. Rather than submitting his request electronically, Pietz says Steele filed the papers manually "to create a purposeful lag time" between its submission to a court clerk and its arrival in Judge Wright's chambers. Perhaps he hoped Judge Wright would go home for the weekend before he had time to read and respond to the request, giving the Prenda principals an excuse to skip the hearing.

Indeed, Steele's filing still hasn't appeared on the judiciary's PACER website as of Saturday morning. We only obtained a copy because Pietz included it as an attachment to his own filing opposing Steele's request.

Under ordinary circumstances, we'd be sympathetic to a witness who was ordered to fly across the country on six days notice. But these are not ordinary circumstances. Steele and Hansmeier have done everything they can to hide the extent of their involvement in Prenda's litigation. Their names only came up after Judge Wright specifically ordered Gibbs to name the "senior members" of Prenda who had been giving him instructions. If Prenda were structured in a transparent and accountable fashion, Wright could have ordered their appearance weeks ago. So they have only themselves to blame for the short notice.

Timothy B. Lee
Timothy covers tech policy for Ars, with a particular focus on patent and copyright law, privacy, free speech, and open government. His writing has appeared in Slate, Reason, Wired, and the New York Times. Emailtimothy.lee@arstechnica.com//Twitter@binarybits

Thankfully, Federal courtrooms are equipped with a variety of technology allowing for video conferencing. Even if these purported assclowns can make a reasonable argument for why a flight across the country on short notice is unreasonable (I think they probably can), they certainly can appear on Monday.

Thanks Ars for identifying the attorney's home states. If you happen to have time to figure out what states they are licensed in I'm sure that attorneys there will be happy to file notifications with the appropriate ethics boards.

I am honest to goodness setting my alarm for Monday morning, and will be watching with bated breath as ARS updates....

And just to help future google searches... Prenda = assclowns.

Don't get up too early. The hearing is scheduled for 1:30 PM Pacific time. The court doesn't allow electronic devices to be used in the courtroom so our coverage likely won't be posted until afterwards.

I am honest to goodness setting my alarm for Monday morning, and will be watching with bated breath as ARS updates....

And just to help future google searches... Prenda = assclowns.

Don't get up too early. The hearing is scheduled for 1:30 PM Pacific time. The court doesn't allow electronic devices to be used in the courtroom so our coverage likely won't be posted until afterwards.

On Friday, Steele and his colleagues filed a request for Judge Wright to withdraw his order. The attorneys insist that as non-California residents—Steele lives in Florida, Duffy lives in Illinois, and Hansmeier and Van Den Hemel live in Minnesota—they shouldn't be expected to fly to Los Angeles on six days' notice. And indeed, they claim they have no ties to California and argue the court therefore has no jurisdiction over them.

Aww, how cute. The bloody cunt rags are now crying about venue being applied to them in the same way they tried to use venue to bully people into settlements. Color me completely unsympathetic to the "plight" of Prenda lawyers.

Everyone needs to stop calling these fucking assclowns "Fucking assclowns" before these fucking assclowns subpoena Ars for all of our IP addresses.

prenda demanding the ip info from Ars/Conde Nast, would be a .48 PiersMorgans

conde nast would likely, politely of course, tell them to get bent, as, and heres an important point, not everyone lives in the US and thus US 'jurys my dickshun' doesnt apply. If I remember correctly as well, the Irish and EU courts basically went 'an ip isnt proof of anything'.

Also I wonder how hard theyre going after oh .. the FBI and congress along with all their staffers, as theyve been demonstratably pirating content in a style that makes the early days of Napster seem well regulated.

I find that I could easily get from Chicago, Minneapolis, or West Palm Beach to Los Angeles on Sunday afternoon, returning Tuesday.

And they had enough time to book a train if they couldn't get on a flight

Or a bus, or even driving by themselves. These folks are trying to stall this process and drag it out as long as they possibly can. Very much like a lying child who's caught up in their own lie, yet refuses to acknowledge the lie and simply come clean, thus making matters worse.

I think the lawyers at Prenda are the lawyer version of the worlds dumbest criminals. You know, like the idiot that filled out a 7-11 application with his real info. Only to pull a gun and rob the store clerk (ON CAMERA no less), leaving the application at the store for police to read and take note of the perp's full legal name, SS#, and home address. If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.

Don't get up too early. The hearing is scheduled for 1:30 PM Pacific time. The court doesn't allow electronic devices to be used in the courtroom so our coverage likely won't be posted until afterwards.

Hot spit! I can get home from work (Eastern time) and prepare an age-appropriate beverage.

Everyone needs to stop calling these fucking assclowns "Fucking assclowns" before these fucking assclowns subpoena Ars for all of our IP addresses.

Well, as my IP address is in South America, they can get it and whatever they wanna do with it... Bring it on, assclowns...

I don't understand all these "Fucking assclowns" name calling, I mean it would be unfortunate if we accidentally and permanently associate the phrase "Fucking assclowns" to Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel on Google. Such that whenever someone search for the term "Fucking assclowns", links relating to Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel would show up due to the number of times these names appear right beside the term "Fucking assclowns".

Only Fucking assclowns like Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel would do such things purposefully.

[snip] I don't understand all these "Fucking assclowns" name calling, I mean it would be unfortunate if we accidentally and permanently associate the phrase "Fucking assclowns" to Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel on Google.[snip]

I actually posted this elsewhere on Ars. At some risk of an unwanted encounter with the moderators, I re-post here what I'd dearly love to be able to say in court.

Quote:

Well, Your Honor, assclown is a portmanteau word; a combination of "clown" and the somewhat vulgar "asshole." A clown, of course, is someone whose behavior is so ridiculous as to be amusing. And an "asshole" is someone whose behavior is in his or her self-interest, vexatiously so. Thus, an "assclown" is one whose behavior or actions would be amusingly ridiculous if they were not so vexatiously self-interested.

"Brain dead" has a clearly defined clinical meaning. However, I'm not a clinician, and I (and others) commonly use that word to describe those whose actions make it appear that they're incapable of higher cognitive function.

"Under ordinary circumstances, we'd be sympathetic to a witness who was ordered to fly across the country on six days notice. But these are not ordinary circumstances. Steele and Hansmeier have done everything they can to hide the extent of their involvement in Prenda's litigation. Their names only came up after Judge Wright specifically ordered Gibbs to name the "senior members" of Prenda who had been giving him instructions. If Prenda were structured in a transparent and accountable fashion, Wright could have ordered their appearance weeks ago. So they have only themselves to blame for the short notice."

I think you are probably right about this.

In a normal case, setting a hearing on five days notice would be outrageous; usually they would be set a month or two in advance so there are no conflicts with other hearings or trials (not that I get the impression that Prenda is that busy). And of course (for the surprising number of commenters who have apparently never bought an airline ticket, it is usually 2-3x more expensive to buy a ticket at the last minute than to buy one 3 weeks in advance). Finally, at this point, we can't assume that these guys are guilty of anything (although they probably are) because the hearing hasn't been held yet.

Having said all that, though, there does seem to be a certain amount of deception going on, as well as a certain amount of deliberate delay, so the court would probably be justified in upholding its order, barring some genuine conflict, like a previously scheduled trial. (Which we would have already heard about from Prenda if true).

And, as noted above, their response to this order suggests a furtive attempt to delay the proceedings and avoid the court's order. Normally, if you got an order like that, you would respond the same day, electronically (within the hour, if at all possible); I would also call the clerk and let them know that I was filing an emergency petition to reset the hearing date so that they would transmit it to the court as soon as possible and it wouldn't sit around in the clerk's office.

They are going to claim it's their business and customers that they can't work around with just days notice, and that flight schedules have nothing to do with it. They will probably name other judges they are scheduled to see, important lawyer stuff, for the indefinite future. "We're just hard working parts of the system, and it's the system holding us back from meeting with you."

Is there some kind of "outlandish excuse" pool we can get going? Things are only going to get more desperate.

Put me down for one internet cookie on "We collectively form Curiosity's AI, and as a non-human intelligence on a different planet are immune to all legal pursuit. Also, Curiosity is a metaphysical solipsist. So alone."

[snip] And of course (for the surprising number of commenters who have apparently never bought an airline ticket, it is usually 2-3x more expensive to buy a ticket at the last minute than to buy one 3 weeks in advance).

I haven't quite made it to half a million miles yet, but I'm close. The most expensive ticket, bought today, would be just over a thousand bucks. My recollection, not supported by checking because I'm too lazy, is that Prenda's extortion letters, er, I mean settlement demands were something like 2-1/2 times that amount. Each.

Edit: I should have said the ticket from the most expensive city of origin. Obviously, one could charter a jet and get up into the $25,000 range or more.

In a normal case, setting a hearing on five days notice would be outrageous; usually they would be set a month or two in advance so there are no conflicts with other hearings or trials (not that I get the impression that Prenda is that busy). And of course (for the surprising number of commenters who have apparently never bought an airline ticket, it is usually 2-3x more expensive to buy a ticket at the last minute than to buy one 3 weeks in advance).

aren't "travel costs" a business expense? And yes, I know damn well how much airline tickets cost the closer you get to the departure date.

I found available seats on direct flights departing on March 11 from Miami to LA at less than $400. On the 10th, I found several around $500. So "can't book a flight" is rubbish (unless it is somehow easier for me in Europe to book American flights).http://www.skyscanner.nl/flights/mia/la ... -2013.html

Even if the judge were to allow yet another iteration of the delay game, it wouldn't end there.

Each delay gives them more time to hide money even deeper in overseas shell companies. One obvious next step would be to set up someone possibly named "Alanero Cooperini" as the neferious head of the whole extortion racket, and the only one with full knowledge, but who unfortunately is not immediately available.

Everyone needs to stop calling these fucking assclowns "Fucking assclowns" before these fucking assclowns subpoena Ars for all of our IP addresses.

Well, as my IP address is in South America, they can get it and whatever they wanna do with it... Bring it on, assclowns...

I don't understand all these "Fucking assclowns" name calling, I mean it would be unfortunate if we accidentally and permanently associate the phrase "Fucking assclowns" to Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel on Google. Such that whenever someone search for the term "Fucking assclowns", links relating to Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel would show up due to the number of times these names appear right beside the term "Fucking assclowns".

Only Fucking assclowns like Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel would do such things purposefully.

Everyone needs to stop calling these fucking assclowns "Fucking assclowns" before these fucking assclowns subpoena Ars for all of our IP addresses.

Well, as my IP address is in South America, they can get it and whatever they wanna do with it... Bring it on, assclowns...

I don't understand all these "Fucking assclowns" name calling, I mean it would be unfortunate if we accidentally and permanently associate the phrase "Fucking assclowns" to Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel on Google. Such that whenever someone search for the term "Fucking assclowns", links relating to Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel would show up due to the number of times these names appear right beside the term "Fucking assclowns".

Only Fucking assclowns like Steele, Hansmeier, Paul Duffy, and Angela Van Den Hemel would do such things purposefully.

I was disappointed when I just went to google and typed in "Fucking assclowns" and this thread didn't come up. I guess I'll just have to give it a little time.

Personally if Ars gets a supeona for IP addresses I think they should deliver them. As printed out in a list on a dot matrix printer. It would amuse me to think of them having to manually enter every single one...

Under ordinary circumstances, we'd be sympathetic to a witness who was ordered to fly across the country on six days notice.

I wouldn't. I'm a lowly engineer and I've had to fly across the country on less than six hours notice.

Yep, done it many times. Short notice has never been a problem. And 6 days isn't short notice.

On your own dime or company money?

Not that it would be a strain for these guys, from what I've read they're all loaded, but getting a cross country flight and a hotel in LA without any kind of advance booking discount would be killer for a lot of folk. Plus time off work...