relationships

For example, waiting for food all day just to have it be placed in front of you, of course you’re going to inhale everything in one bite. Or when you wait in line to go on the roller coaster of the summer, and when you finally get seated in, go up that long and painfully slow ramp, the spur of emotions all happens to quick as you go down in seconds.

It’s just the same with crushes. They come so fast and disappear.

I feel like when you’re really not looking for anything there is no investment. Personally I hate to drown all my emotions into a crush. They are a crush; the worst is when you two barely speak, and you’re living off this fantasy that you two will eventually talk and everything will be like princess fairy tale.

Maybe I’m a pessimist, or after a relationship I don’t want anything but fun. BUT being in a new university surrounded by people I feel like I should get out there and do something. But ugh, the process for all this is too long. Way too long.

My rational thought is that yea, you know, we ended it for a reason. But then once it’s over there’s all this regret and embarrassment that is accompanied by the break up.

In order to avoid all those emotions you basically run away from the other person, but I swear there is that dreaded day where you accidentally run into that person. And OH GOD does it suck, whether your’e the dumpee or the dumper you just don’t want to run into that person (well in my opinion at least)

The thing is that in front of the other person you wanna look cooler, and I mean by A LOT.

You want to seem that life is way better without them in it, you want to show them they didn’t mean as much as they thought they meant to you. But alas here you are, same old same old.

You were quite the same before they met you and here you are still quite the same after. Yes they may have changed you a little but sadly you’re still you.

The point I’m trying to make is that, just today I had a little run in with an ex, and I thank all the seven gods that we didn’t talk nor look into each other’s eyes.

It was a simple pass by but even that was just too unbearable for me.

Maybe it was because I’m not really an affectionate person and once ties have been cut they’re cut. Or there is that little bit of guilt dumping the person, or hell maybe I just hate the guy (which I think I do…just a little)

But of course we knew the other person was in our vicinity and that awkward head turn where you aren’t directly looking at the person but trying your damn best with your peripheral vision. And I need glasses!

So there I was at first squinting to see if it was actually him! I’m still not sure if it was him that I saw, but I have too much pride to get caught staring. When I had a thought that it just MIGHT be him I looked straight ahead and tried my best not to turn again, which I think I succeeded in.