Remember when there were basically two kinds of car? No? Well, you had a few sports cars and coupes, and the odd Land Rover, but most cars were either estates or saloons. It was the same with coffee – it was either black or white. But then they started to bring in fancy new ones – espressos and cappuccinos, then lattes and macchibloodyatos. It was the same with cars. The hatchback was the equivalent of the espresso, the people carrier either a cappuccino or a grande cappuccino, depending on how big it was (so a Suzuki Cappuccino, a dwarf sports car, wasn't a cappuccino at all in my useful car-coffee genre comparison, confusingly). The supermini is probably a macchiato. And the SUV? A latte, clearly, duh!

And now this: neither one thing nor the other, a little bit latte and a little bit macchiato and a little bit whatever you want it be. Ladies and gents, I give you the flat white of the automotive industry: the crossover.

Based on Citroën's competent but dull C4 family hatchback, the DS4 has been sent to the gym, pumped up and possibly given a course of some kind of steroids. And while it may not have the striking looks of the Citroën's smaller DS3 hot hatch, it's still a lot tidier than its plainer, older sister. There are some nice little design touches, such as the hidden rear door handles, which make it look like a coupe. But one really annoying thing – that the rear windows don't go down. If a car has rear doors, you want the windows to go down, end of story. What were they thinking?

To drive, it's fun – though again not as fun as the DS3. I've got the most powerful 200 HP petrol, which has oodles of oomph for a car of this one's ride and handling. You're probably better off with one of the more frugal diesel engines.

Which brings me to the crucial question: what's the point of one of these crossovers? They might be higher off the ground, but the extra height doesn't mean they can go anywhere different, like off-road. They don't have more space inside. But you pay considerably more for them. The DS4 costs, on average, about £3,000 more than a regular C4. What's that all about, then?

Well, it's about style and fashion, presence and poise. It's about looking out at the drive and feeling a little bit pleased with yourself. Hmmm, nice wheels. And this one is nice, about as handsome as crossovers get. Look at it . I like this car. I like a flat white, too.