Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Urban Newspapers Aren't Meant For Idiots

(Boston was settled in 1630, dickbag. They ain't meant for cars either.)

You know the drill by now:

Busy thoroughfares aren’t meant for cyclists. They are meant for the cars, trucks, and buses that transport the vast majority of people moving through the nation’s cities. Those vehicles weigh thousands of pounds, operate at 300-plus horsepower, and are indispensable to the economic and social well-being of virtually every American community. Bicycles can be an enjoyable, even exhilarating, way to get around. So can horses, skis, and roller skates. Adding any of them to the flow of motorized traffic on roads that already tend to be too clogged, however, is irresponsible and dangerous.

It's true, bicycles are the embolisms in the bloodstream of American commerce, and we're destroying our country's great cities (as well as the lesser ones like Boston) one pedal stroke at a time.

The reasons for Caleb Jacoby's disappearance remain unknown, though police have said the teen ran away from home, and have closed their investigation, The Forward reported.

It's hard to imagine anyone would want to run away from someone with the obvious charms of Jeff Jacoby, so I suspect the truth is young Caleb, stifled by his repressive religious environment, simply wanted to ogle the controversial Desnudas of Times Square:

When New York City installed pedestrian plazas in Times Square six years ago, replacing traffic-choked streets with beach chairs and picnic tables, the move prompted civic controversy, late-night monologue jokes and, eventually, widespread praise as an influential innovation in urban design.But as the city grapples with an influx of topless tip-seekers, the de Blasio administration has suggested an unexpected remedy: Remove the islands altogether.Mayor Bill de Blasio said on Thursday that he would consider removing the plazas from the area in a bid to restore order to the crowded streets of the renowned Manhattan crossroads.

In other words, Mayor Bill de Blasio and Police Commissioner William J. Bratton (both originally from the Boston area, go figure) would rather subject the public to physical injury than human breasts.

The upshot of all of this is clear: given Jacoby and de Blasio and Bratton's retrograde attitude towards the streets, there's clearly a direct line from people with stupid bullshit religious morals to moronic ideas about urban planning.

The Speedvagen Urban Racer is a bike-path beauty, and it’s probably not something you want to leave locked outside your apartment overnight. It’s got all the goodies, from an integrated seatmast likely to tank the resale value — though this bike wasn’t built for resale — to an integrated chain-guard and distressed paint job (which adds $400 to the overall cost of the bike). This bike is all about fun, but it’s got some performance chops, too.

Okay, so it's a city bike too expensive to leave outside that handles like a race bike, yet it's also completely useless as an actual race bike. And if that wasn't stupid enough, it's also got a $400 "distressed paint job:"

Though if you want to save some money you can skip the distressed paint, because if I ever see one of these things locked to a bike rack I plan to take a few swings at it with my chain lock.

You're welcome.

And how about that chain guard?

Looks very effective. Just don't ever change chainrings, or expect it to be effective in any way.

And no, silly, of course you can't put racks on it:

Before plunking down cash on a pricey commuter like this, it’s important to think about what it’s great for, and what it’s not so great for. If you’re hauling groceries with bags and panniers, the Urban Racer is not up your alley. But if you’re looking to turn heads on the way to the bar or coffee shop, with the occasional huck off a curb or skid in the parking lot thrown in, throw a leg on this steel showman.

Please. If you're looking to turn heads on the way to the bar or coffee shop, why not just ride there pantsless on a unicycle? And if you want to commute on a race bike that's too nice to leave outside, why not just spend the $5,000 on an actual race bike and use that?

Sure, it won't have the stupid chain guard that looks like a mistake, but at least you'll get some derailleurs.

Dear Lennard,I have a 2009 Motobecane Cross Ti bike that my local bike shop converted from cantilevers to TRP Hy/RD brakes a few months ago. We also installed Stan’s NoTubes Grail wheels with a Spot Brand fork up front; the rear stays already had disc tabs. I ran through the recommended brake wear-in procedure, but after 5-10 miles I started feeling vibrations, most noticeably in the front, but also in the rear. Light braking doesn’t produce any vibes, but with medium or hard pressure I start feeling vibes front and rear at about 12 mph (high frequency, like the rotor cutouts hitting the pads) and getting progressively stronger and lower frequency until I can see the fork vibrating front-to-rear (~approximately 3mm) when the speed is down to 3-5 mph. At low speed it also produces a solid thunk-thunk sound that riders next to me have noticed.

Step aside Lennard, let me field this one.

Dear Delirium Tremens,It sounds like you have spent a huge amount of money "upgrading" a mail order bike, with predicably disastrous results. Fortunately there is a simple solution to your vibration problem, which is to put all your old parts back on. You're welcome.--Wildcat Rock Machine

As for "SRAM eTap," I didn't read that part, but it sounds like an Israeli name:

The headline certainly grabbed my attention, because I was hoping to see this:

But instead I saw this:

Oh, Portland. How the mighty (smug) have fallen. A Trek with no fenders?!? This guy should be impeached!

Still, it's good to see that at least Portland's cyclists are maintaining their signature self-righteousness:

The ride to the bridge was mostly smooth and uneventful. Then, about three-fourths of the way over the bridge span, our group — which was riding at a social pace — was passed by a man riding very fast. He yelled something at us as he went by and was clearly angry that we slowed him down. He also spit on the ground in front us after he passed.

Once, while riding over the Hawthorne Bridge, a woman on a bike yelled at me for not signaling a turn. If you're that woman, I will gladly pay for your travel and accommodation to visit New York City and ride here for one week. That should give you some perspective.

Anyway, apparently the mayor's ride was quite an eye-opener:

Hales didn’t need an explanation. He could feel how uncomfortable and stressful his cycling environment had suddenly become. “What can we do about this!?” he asked.

He is referring, of course, to the footwear choice of Captain Mandals behind him:

What the hell are those things?!?

Seriously, you're going on a big PR ride with the mayor and you opt for shorts and the weird toe thongs?

137 comments:

54. A few pre-industrial cities were very large and crowded, yet their inhabitants do not seem to have suffered from psychological problems to the same extent as modern man. In America today there still are uncrowded rural areas, and we find there the same problems as in urban areas, though the problems tend to be less acute in the rural areas. Thus crowding does not seem to be the decisive factor.

The streets of Boston were, in fact, made for horses and wagons and carts of all kinds. What happend was what is happening all over the country....trying to cram huge behemoth mother fuckin' beastly vehicles into urban infrastructure made for horsed and hand carts and wagons. Perfect example, Staten Island.

Boston is a fucked up city to drive in. It's one of the few places I am terrified to ride in, also.

That dweeb in Portland looks like he has never been on a bike. I hope I never have and never will, look like such a nincompoop on a bikecycle.

TITS!!!! I thought Tuesdays were for tits....tits tuesday. Today is Wussy Wednesday, which I deem the duder in the weird toe thongs a wussy. Anyway, I'll do better than Vanilla, if you want a distressed paint job on your bike, my wife will do it for $200! You pay shipping costs, and you get to know my Asian wife distressed your bike, and that I probably took a joy ride on it as well. I promise to wear pants.

I think what he's getting at with the 300HP comment is a gradual weeding out of low horsepower vehicles on public roadways. If we start by kicking off the cyclists and pedestrians, then we can move on to scooters, hatchbacks, minivans, and other 'economy' cars.

Eventually only heavy trucks, massive sport and/or utility vehicles, and high power sports cars will be allowed.

Sure it will be inconvenient to go anywhere, but the accidents will be amazing.

I've been in pretty much every major city in America, and Boston was the absolute worst I've encountered in terms of what was happening on the roads. Forget driving or bikeling, I didn't even like walking across the street with the light. It was like playing Frogger. That place is a real shitstorm on the roads.

Cuz you need 300 hp when you're stuck on roads that already tend to be too clogged. Here's an idea, make 30 hp motors the maximum for urban driving and they can take out their clogged road frustrations by driving the shit out of them without anyone noticing.

They are meant for the cars, . . . vehicles weigh thousands of pounds, operate at 300-plus horsepower,

interesting. have had several sports/sporty cars. some been driven by someone (i think statute of limits must be past) at double the fastest legal speed here in the north east. none had a peak horsepower of 300+. Not the Datsun/Nissan Z's the late 60s mustangs, not the dodge coronet 440, nuttin. Never even the vette (not mine though) was 300+.

i remember taking a couple days off and tripping up to boston. maybe 71 or so. went to some museum. on the way out i was waiting for a break in traffic to pull out as this was a 196cid chevy chevelle with their awesome 2 speed powerglide tranny. so the guy behind me gets impatitent. now in nyc he would have started leaning on the horn. in boston, he intentionally rear ended me.

on the plus side, a '66 chevelle might not have been able to get out of its own way, but it was a tank and didn't suffer at all. can't remember the results to the guy's car.

nice clip,dop.so,that's where two of our cats went,when they went on high ate us.how they got to the south county trail,i'll never know.perhaps,metro north from dutchess county to Westchester county.so,i guess those cats are fuck-o's....

Ah, Jeff Jacoby, the Globe's pet "conservative." The only reason they keep the idiot on the payroll is to have someone to point to when some internet troll accuses the Globe of being staffed totally with "libtards." If he ever showed some originality, he would not be so embarrassing to Boston. But, as it is, he seems to spend a few weeks or months digesting other people's stupid ideas, then one day publishing the gist of them. I don't think his family problems are fair game for your blog, but they do hint at what must be a very strange family dynamic

It gets old, all of those oh so entitled motorists telling us to get off the very same roads we cyclists are continually subsidising for them. Fucking ridiculous. How did it happen? Was it all the Madmen's fault? How did we come to a time and place where every wanker and his uncle figures he has the right to speed his death trap through urban centers undeterred, and certainly never slowed down by the mass of humanity everywhere around? FuckO. Fuck fuck fucking fuckO.

$5000 for a bike to ride to the bar and the coffee shop? Clearly designed for Freds with more money than brains. Besides everyone knows that what Fat and Gravel bikes are for; if they don't get ridden there they'll probably never get ridden at all.

i screwed up man. didn't buy the right one. but then they didn't have the right one. they had two suntory's. one had Hibiki and the other had 12, but no hibiki 12. the Hibiki was a blended one. so i got this suntory yamazaki 12 as it was closer to your price point (the hibiki was in the mid 40s).

don't know what to do now. drink this shit or use it to clean my chain like roille suggested. the problem with that is that i just cleaned the chain.

There must be some kind of annual convention where people like Jeff Jacoby, John Kass, Mark Konkol and Courtland Milloy swap stale ideas and outright lies (cyclists don't pay taxes that support roads) that they can then recycle as columns. Keep em coming, fellas, we all need a good laugh. Say hi to Dorothy Rabinowitz for us.

Ok, now let me get this straight: Jacoby says bikes don't belong on urban streets. Urban streets. Does Jacoby know what urban means? It means of or relating to a city. A city is created and sustained by its inhabitants. Therefore, the streets are for the use of its inhabitants in whichever mode of transportation they choose. He might as well had said...people don't belong on urban streets.

WIldcat, have you ever been contacted by the poor schlub known to us as Bib Shorts Guy? Just wondered whether he is enjoying his glory here as an icon of Fred-dom, or has sent you a cease-and-desist or whatever.

When I first saw that picture of the $4900 Speedvagan bike, it reminded me of a Celeste Bianchi Pista, that you could pick up for $500.For the $4400 you save, you could buy a used Hyundai to transport it to the closest VELODROME, where it belongs.

So has anyone ever started a list of Bike Haterisms?Cyclists should not be allowed to use roads cause:Wear your helment or you're gonna dieAll cyclists are scofflawsCyclists don't pay road taxesCylists don't buy liability insuranceDon't buy registrationsDon't buy license plateDon't pass a licensing examYada Yada YadaThen explain all this insurance, license certifications, and taxes I pay for my fleet of vehicles to sit in the driveway and tell me I can't ride my bike.Them Hyundais don't pay for themselves. PS The scofflaw part may be true, but I speed and roll stop signs, make u-turns, etc in whatever I drive.

Isn't this the American way?I'm late to pick up the kids because I lost track of time while searching the internet for a "dating" website to replace the one that was recently compromised, I'm agitated because I've been drinking caffeine and eating processed sugar all day and I plan to race and compete for space with every other user on the public roads because I'm a over-competitive, self-centered fuck-o. All of these reasons entitle me to rocket through congested city streets with no regard for anyone else on the road and to ignore the consequences of running into something or someone with my 3000+ lb vehicle. Well that and the fact that I'm encased in an air conditioned steel safety cage that is equipped with a gajillion airbags, so I'm not really risking my own life...

i'm sick of fuck-o deflate-gate. why is this clogging the courts and news programs. even if i watched foosball i wouldn't give a shit. the only sport i give a crap about is professional mud wrestling. and that's probably only because i have a friend who is a retired mud wrestler.

I imagine the streets I ride are about as vicious as Tarrytown, but mostly I get lectured by over protective soccer moms about my lack of high vis cycling wear. That way they can see me better while they are talking and texting away with a bunch of kids in the DENALI whilst smacking away on fast food on their way to sundries kid functions.

I imagine the streets I ride are about as vicious as Tarrytown, but mostly I get lectured by over protective soccer moms about my lack of high vis cycling wear. That way they can see me better while they are talking and texting away with a bunch of kids in the DENALI whilst smacking away on fast food on their way to sundries kid functions.

Fact time:No one driving a car is going anywhere more important than you are. Driving is not an automatically noble.Cars do way more damage to roads (crashes and wear&tear) cyclists pay for more than their fair share of roads.

The streets "weren't meant" for this, and "weren't meant" for that. Who's doing all of this meaning? And are they alive right now? And do they have a legitimate stake in the matter? Cuz if not, who gives a fuck what they meant or want? In fact, my dick is probably rubbing up against some of their molecules right now. Bitch!

Regarding "irresponsible and dangerous", Boston Hubway Bike-Share Bikes which are strictly Urban Bikes have never had a fatality, and the injury rate is close to ZERO. Just like all the other Bike Share Bikes: Over 7 years, probably more than 50 million rides/100 million miles, and still ZERO fatalities. Of course there there also been ZERO car fatalities, oh wait no there have been a few.

"Fact time:No one driving a car is going anywhere more important than you are."

Take a look at the bottled up traffic next time you bike or walk past, and it will be obvious that this is untrue, if we measure "importance" as "number of people who benefit from the trip"

I'm as in favor of walkable & bikeable cities as the next guy, but even if we got rid of all of the unecessary private vehicle trips, there would still be a lot of necessary vehicular traffic: busses, trucks to fill those stores, service-call vehicles, elder transport, ambulances, police, and fire. Frankly I suspect there are parts of the city where those - even without any private cars - would still create traffic jams.

At high-rpms, the 336-hp motor howls in a way that makes you think twice about finding that next gear. (if you're a complete pussy) Another cool feature is the manual transmission. When you downshift, the 370Z with its Synchro RevMatch transmission will automatically blip the throttle, making for smooth gear changes. (in case you ever have to shift after blowing off your toes while duck hunting in your living room)

You were the Mayor riding towards the bridge; I was actually going somewhere I needed to be; for safety I called out "On your left"; after I passed I needed to blow a snot rocket; you were focused on fixing something that isn't a problem

Spokey, thinking of cars of your Chevelle era, when did we quit being able to match up bumpers and push a car off to get it started, no jumper cables required? Maybe the introduction of electronic fuel injection?

i kind of remember some change in automatic trannys. i think the really old ones would let the wheels drive the engine but at some point torque converters changed (or something else internal) so you couldn't crank the engines.

that being said, i'm not sure i ever push started an auto with an electronic ignition. i think (which is very very dangerous) that i have shut off a manual with electronic ignition at highway speed, turned the ignition back on, put it in gear, released the clutch and it started. can't remember how long ago though. if spousy hadn't given my camry (with drum breaks) to one of the kids, i'd give that a try to make certain. unfortunately i got a subaru outback for my new dino eater and lob knows how all that would work with that cvt.

@bad boy

i'm past the point where i need anything anyone would consider sporty (although i could chirp the wheels on that 4 cyl camry in 2nd gear). these days most curses thrown my way are for my little old lady driving and not for any young punk driving tendencies

mis-read. was thinking electronic ignition not fuel injection. but i guess the same response holds. i think i've started manuals with fuel injection. i think all my fuel injection has been electronic. don't think i ever had mechanical injection. unless maybe on that old sunbeam (something can't remember the model but not the tiger).

Mayhaps it was a Sunbeam Alpine?I almost got one of those as my first car because the price was right. But I ended up with a much more practical 1979 Toyota Celica GT like this one. It had aftermarket metal louvers (?) covering the back window. Way better than my Mom's old AMC Hornet "Sportabout" wagon that I was driving before.

i would certainly jump a car if i could but if i am in the middle of nowhere, i'd use any means. but we never called it a bump start. we called it a push start.

oh, and i remember (i think) another thing. even when automatics could be pushed started, i kind of remember you had to get them up to maybe 30mph in order for it to work.

in a manual, pretty much any speed worked. i physically pushed a '63 beetle when the ignition switch bummed out for awhile. opened the door, pushed it probably to about 5 mph, jumped in, popped the clutch and off i'd go. of course parking on a slope was better. i could get a slow roll, pop the clutch and take off. funny part is the ignition switch fixed itself. not sure how many times i pushed that thing unnecessarily.

wishiwasmerckx, I think it goes like this:I like my women like I like my coffee: hot and black.I don't think it's actually racist. I think you're just saying that you like attractive dark skinned women.But it did always sound a little creepy when my dad used to say it in front of my mom, who was not a dark skinned woman...

Thongs... heh heh. I remember when we used to call our flip flops thongs. Then those crazy underwear thingies came about, and now the word just evokes snickers. Far as THOSE babies go, meh. I would rather be a MAWIL, commando style, than strung through like that. Any. Day.

On my sixteenth birthday I received a VW Scirocco MK2 with a five speed manual transmission. It was a great little car in its day (1982 ish) so you'd think it would have had electronic fuel injection, though I can't rightly say off the top of my head. What I can say is that despite using and abusing that little sweetheart all across the westernmost two provinces of this country, it never required any sort of repair outside of the regular maintenance any car enjoys. I loved that car.

Few years later, on Saltspring Island, I remember jump starting my neighbour's Chevy Chevelle over and over and over again. Ad Nauseum. Damned car had chronic alternator issues, but still... she insisted on driving that lemon of a Chevy, even as it drove her mad. In my book that's what you call misplaced loyalties.

But besides the obvious cycling related items in the Twitter picture, for what does a fine urbanite apt dweller use a sack of quikcrete? Seems so suburban, and I'm sure it was trundled home on the Big Dummy.

Holy uckfay, Batman. Brrrrrrrr. So that massive ridge of high pressure which has been sitting off of our coast, giving us such a hot, dry summer, finally moved east. Yesterday Whistler saw snow, and damned if it didn't feel like winter here, too!! Who knows? Maybe this year the boy can actually use that new snowboard he received for Christmas last year. At this rate he'll be using it by October.

@rollie - i dont know, that impala with 305 hp is kind of a sleeper. i'd take that. but yes, the rest are terrible. well, actually the new mustang is apparently a very well sorted car, but i wouldnt be caught alive in one.

The reason it is difficult to push start an auto trans is that the torque converter has to spin fast enough to lock up to the engine. Most street vehicles have a stall speed of around 1500rpm. So you have to push the car fast enough to turn the tranny at 1500+ once you throw that puppy into 1 from N. Maybe 30+MPH. It's not a good idea, for the pusher or the pushee.

Never push started an auto, but as long as it's a manual, it doesn't matter if it's carbed, fuel injected, electronic ignition, whatever. Push starting just uses the wheels to turn the crank instead of the starter motor. As long as you have the ignition ON so the fuel pump and electronics are working, you can push start any manual trans car, assuming there's nothing else wrong with it.

I am Hwa Jurong, a Private Money Lender do you need a loan to start up business or to pay your bills and a corporate financial for real estate and any kinds of business financing. I also offer Loans to individuals,Firms and corporate bodies at 2% interest rate. I give out loan to serious minded people that are interested of loan if interested contact this email: hwajurong382@yahoo.com or hwajurong12@gmail.com

To create a such reasonably article is actually superb,I daily scan your blogs and provides my announcement for that here this text is simply too nice and then amusive.Agen Sbobet OnlineAgen Sbobet Terpercaya

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!