Author's Response: not trouble. someone else said mrs.weasley was mad but she's not just shocked is all. how would you react to your son and almost daughter who have "secretly" loved eachother for years snogging like there's no tommorrow on the bedroom floor? Thanx

er.. right. where were they? what were they talking about before ron and harry were there? how did harry and ron come into the room? how could a radio work amongst all the magic? why would hermione be dancing on her knees? my questions could take up more space than your story to put it bluntly

Okay, before I start, this review is completely constructive critism, nothing here is meant to be mean, I only want to help.

First off all, I'm not quite sure how this went through the queue. It should have been at least 800 words, most likely more.

Second, I highly doubt that the Weasleys will have a Muggle radio, since none of them seem to know a single thing about muggles.

I think it is slightly out of character for Hermione to be whining about Ron not asking her out. Hermione and Ron seem to both be in denial about this, and even if she had told Ginny, I highly doubt she'd whine over something like that, because it just doesn't seem like something the brainy, helpful, down-to-earth canon Hermione would do.

I also must point out that the format is off. While you can still read it fairly easily, it would make it much easier to read if it was spaced correctly.

Finally, I found many dialogue puncuation and grammar errors. I suggest that you get a better to help you with these.

I hope I helped, and I think if you expanded on your story a bit and fixed the errors, it would be quite an enjoyable read.

Author's Response: Are you Alicen? cause you sure sound like her. My first fic remeber? I know you arn't being mean. My beta is goning to be Alikt716: read her story octber it's the bomb! and the other is our friend Ami. Thanx though

This story is cute, but I think you could have done more to make it better.

Firstly, it's very short. For a great one-shot, it needs to be at least 800-1000 words, this story only has 300. If you were to explain everything, you would be able to add length and make the story to where it's revolved around something other than Ron and Hermione making out. That may have been what you wanted, but it lacks depth.

If you could tell us more about Ginny and Hermione’s conversation, the setting and Mrs. Weasley’s reaction to Ron and Hermione, that would be great. Maybe once Harry and Ron get back to their room, they could talk about what happened. It would be nice if you told us Hermione and Ginny’s point of view on the situation as well.

I hope I didn’t sound too harsh; I just wanted to point a few things out. Over all, great story, it’s really cute and fluffy. Hmm, sounds just like a bunny. I’m anxious to read more of your work.

Author's Response: I understand. you're not to harsh. this is my first fic so more detail i know. My friend Ami said the same thing. Thanx for the critism(sp?) I will take it. It helps