Saturday, January 3, 2009

In a weird place today...

I can't understand why I feel so GOOD today! I'm not complaining, I promise. It's just that I usually don't experience this kind of happiness at home, especially when I have nothing coming down the chute. As I said to Jere earlier, "There's nothing more comforting and maddening than realizing you have nowhere to go."

When I woke up, I wanted Spaghetti-o's. And I very guiltily made them. I don't understand why it made me feel guilty, but canned pasta doesn't really scream "breakfast food" to me. Maybe I would have felt more normal eating Cheerios. But I was pleased that the guilt disappeared after the first spoonful.

Somewhere during breakfast, I decided it was time to really start scrapbooking again. The problem has been space, as in not enough of it. I have a corner of my bedroom and a small desk dedicated to my crafts, but it's usually piled high and there just isn't enough room to spread out and work. So finally, I came up with a solution. Now all the scrapbook supplies are on the dining room table, as all the major holidays are over and I won't have to use the table again until it's been moved to Tampa. I even stuck the leaf in it so I would have even more space. I very happily started scrapping Ireland (avoiding the 400 pictures from my 2007 trip to Turkey).

In the middle of all this, I had a great conversation with someone who really gives my brain a workout. To be honest, my head actually hurts when I talk to him, but it feels wonderful, like the kind of pain you get when you begin a long run. My cousin and I have always challenged each other this way (though I'm still convinced he got all the smart genes), whether it's about politics (we didn't vote the same way this election), religion (actually, even if we don't mesh on that one, it's alright because we seem to have the same questions), even thermodynamics (if he doesn't remember sparking my fascination with Fermi, his brain's probably too full of other really smart things). Today's discussion was spurred on by something totally random, but I get the impression both of us will be picking up a couple new books to further expand our minds.

Jere and I met online in the early afternoon and chatted for awhile during my lunch. I watched Laws of Attraction (getting in that whole Irish vibe), puttered around a bit, and made it to tea time. And this was the most, for lack of a more appropriate word, ORGASMIC part of my day. I have tea between 3 and 4 every afternoon, because snacking is good for you. It's the exact time my blood sugar starts to drop, so not only do I allow myself tea and a snack; I allow myself something sinfully sweet, usually a small cookie or a chocolate.

I've had this box of chocolates from Poland just waiting for the holidays to end. A small, hand-picked assortment of truffles from E. Wedel. I'd eaten a coffee flavored one and wasn't overwhelmed. So today I put a champagne truffle on my tea plate. One tiny bite and I was gone. Better than the best Godiva could ever come up with, better than the first cup of Starbucks on a Sunday morning, and even better than long, slow sex on Saturday night. I can't come up with the appropriate adjective to describe it. All I knew was that I wanted more, and dove headlong into the box, trying a honey truffle, an after eight truffle, a raspberry truffle, a coconut truffle.....my teeth ached from the perfect sweetness. There are now only two left in the box, but I am perfectly sated and sitting here, blissfully typing in the afterglow.

Tonight's plans revolve around exercising and playing dress-up. I am twenty pounds lighter, and need to finally go through my clothes to get rid of what is now too big to get away with wearing. In the process, I hope to make room for some of my older clothes and all the new size 8's. Tomorrow is Sunday. Nothing will get done.

Today's lesson: Sometimes, there are good kinds of pain. Pain when you work your muscles, pain when you're thinking really hard, pain when things are much too sweet. Remember, pain lets us know we're still alive.