Some actions may never be justified, but the losers of wars never get a fair say in history books. We never got a fair say in history books. We were all fashioned into heartless killers fueled by our own prejudices against blood and fueled by our ambition. Has history ever interviewed a death eater? Or are the assumptions of the Daily Prophet reliable? Can one person be summed up and placed into a category of good and evil?

History has a way of getting things wrong. The winners of wars tend to twist the truth to make themselves into these altruistic heroes that did no wrong. The losers are given a twisted image of being vile, hateful people who had no feelings. History is never right. History is a biased view of what happened in the past.

And for all the people that think the primary sources of newspapers back up their claims, think again. Those people selectively picked the newspapers which held with their values. Whoever said that their sources were reliable either? The past is warped into some image of a side completely full of goodness and a side that has no soul.

Even for someone like Bellatrix Black who most would say was nothing short of being one of the foul people to ever walk the earth. She had her good and bad. She was my friend and funny as hell. Crazy? No she wasn’t crazy. No one is truly crazy. Was the Order of the Phoenix a society only for the good? Does History not remember the massacre that killed nearly 200 people? Does it not remember that we all were people as well. Is it so ludicrous to think that maybe just maybe, the people on the other side are just as bad as you?

Winners gloat in the glory of having been the victor. But are they any different from the other side. How different were the Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix? Both had their convictions. Both killed. But why did I initially choose to side with Voldemort? Maybe it was out of fear, or maybe it was because of Regulus, but mostly it was because I would rather be fighting for something than fighting against something.

Death Eater or not, history lies. That only made my choice more difficult. The mere fact that I understood all of this tortured me inside and still does. Choosing is never easy. Especially when you love two people. When you hate two people. When the world that you had long accepted and known forever came crashing down on you. I never expected for that assignment to go far.

I never wanted the assignment to go that far. The problem was he changed me. He changed me for me to see both right and wrong. He showed me how everything is just a lie. But he never lied. My whole life was a lie. Every thought, every moral, every value, everything I had ever called my own was a lie.

History remembers only the brave and the most feared. Maybe that was why history forgot me. I was a coward. Fueled by my ambitions, but torn apart by my lack of bravery. Only the brave ones were remembered. But no matter how history remembered things, I would always remember one man. The man that changed me for the better. The man that opened my eyes to a whole new world. The man that never lied. The man that I lied to. The man I love and will always love. Sirius Black.