LONG BEACH (coup2k.com) June 25, 2001 - "Wake Up Democrats! Take Back the Country!" -- Well, the conference title seemed promising, so I did my Diva Duty, and ponied up the cash to take part in Southern California Americans for Democratic Action's 2001 Conference in Los Angeles yesterday...

THE RUN-UPPreparations for the SCADA conference, much like preparations for VoterWest, were still in progress right up until it was time to hop into the love machine and hit the highway. I was up all night Saturday night, trying to think what "Americans for Democratic Action" would most like to see at our table, which I would be sharing with Rose of fringefolk.com, Kim of VoterMarch.org / VoterWest.org, and Jamie of CounterCoup.org (accompanied by Billie, President of "Dogs for Democracy"). As always, I was stumped, and ended up going with the obvious: buttons, KillCoup stickers, site brochures, all of the Bush v. Gore SCOTUS decisions (which no one even looked at), the UN Petition (which hardly anyone bothered to sign), iron-on transfers of some of the more popular Coup Couture designs, orange voter rights ribbons (which I pinned on any person who would stand still long enough, and who didn't mind me putting my hand inside their shirt), BUSHWACKED! videos, booklets of the "Best of the BBBR" slide show, etc., etc.

The breakfast speaker was Dick Gephardt, and I found myself sitting at a table with Rose, listening to the House Minority Leader talk about Democratic priorities -- the environment, education, progressive taxation -- and about the Jeffords escape (which Gephardt believes signals a seismic shift in the political terrain in America), all matters which I hold close to my Diva heart. He had me. We were singing the same song... But...

When he began to talk about the evils of hate, Dick Gephardt LOST ME.

BIG TIME.

(Because most people would never get past the first sentence of any such column, I have never written my "In Defense of Hate" treatise. Maybe now would be a good time.)

Gephardt began to tell stories about his travels in South Africa -- stories about wrongfully condemned and imprisoned dissidents like Mandela, who now live their lives in love and forgiveness... stories about the parents of a slain youth activist, who now live their lives in love and forgiveness -- stories clearly intended to advocate for the necessity of political love and forgiveness, and to advocate for beating our rhetorical swords into plowshares.

This made me intensely angry. I felt the blood rising to my face, the denunciations rising in my throat... To draw such a parallel felt like the worst kind of "apples and oranges" talk to me.

You see, I think Dick Gephardt knows that we are out here -- we who were victimized by this conservative coup -- and that we are nursing our wounds and our anger, and are not willing to move on. I think it was us that Dick was speaking to, though he was never specific about that.

I don't know if anyone else who was listening to his speech (other than Rose) had the same reaction I did. I was dying to shout out, across the crowded ballroom, "TRUTH BEFORE RECONCILIATION! TRUTH BEFORE RECONCILIATION!"But I didn't. I don't know why I didn't. Now, I wish I had, with all my heart.

I, too, applaud the forgoing of revenge on the part of the oppressed peoples of South Africa, who now find themselves with the power to exact retribution. I am impressed by their willingness to give up "an eye for an eye," and to be better than those who did their worst.

But I KNOW that they did not make it to that point of reconciliation without first demanding that the truth be spoken -- that there be a record of the crimes committed by those who held power, and held it so ruthlessly. Black South Africans demanded and got THE TRUTH, first.

ON JUSTICE AND CLEAN SLATESHere is my defense of hate: Hate is the only honest reaction to injustice when unacknowledged, unrepented, and uncorrected. I hate the person who blew up a federal building in Oklahoma City. I hate the people who dragged James Byrd to his death. I hate the people who crucified Mathew Shepherd. I hate the Nazis who snuffed out entire families, and tried to snuff out an entire race of humanity.

I do. I hate them all.

There are some acts that do such violence to the concept of human decency, that hate is the only proper reaction for me. This, I believe, with all my heart.

If the monsters who committed these acts were ever to confess the dark impulses that drove them to act, if they were ever to take responsibility for their crimes and make an effort to atone, I could move past hate. I would move past hate. My heart is big enough... but...

FIRST TRUTH, THEN RECONCILIATION! I can no more reconcile without truth, than I can live without air. That is the way I am made. I cannot change. I love justice too much to stand silently by while she is raped, and her rapists are rewarded for their violence on her.

Must it always be this way? Could I ever STOP hating Scalia, Rehnquist, Thomas, O'Connor, Kennedy, Bush, Harris...? Yes, I certainly could, if...

If the monsters who committed these acts were ever to confess the dark impulses that drove them to act, if they were ever to take responsibility for their crimes and make an effort to atone, I could move past hate...

But unless and until that happens? No. Not a chance. My hate IS my love of justice, and that is not something I am willing to "let go" of, or "move on" from, or "get over."