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I'm just kinda grateful that there was no talk of decapitated snake head up the urethra this week. Although, at the same time, I am beyond glad that that was indeed a possibility and, in fact, glorious reality last week.

1. not entirely sure that $150 metal ball stretchers are "a fuck of a lot sexier than turkey basters"? don't know the exact measurement of one unit of fuck, but seems like a lot--like way more than the amount metal ball stretchers are sexier than turkey basters.

i found it impossible not to fill in elderly attendees of my own family reunion to serve as my inner visuals for pussy-eatin' Old But Alive and pussy eatee cousin. Which is a place my mind has never traveled. So, yeah.

I am now also obsessed with the idea that there is an entire level of middlemen (or women, of course) in the pantry-exchange transaction. Jobs for America!
xoxox
jillhttp://www.inbedwithmarriedwomen.com

This is all I got from the panty-selling chick's letter: "I should be selling my panties." I am completely lazy and just wearing panties sounds like a good effort-to-cash ratio--even with the cost of low-rent panties factored in. Must consult with financial planner.

I love it when Dan Savage has to talk about vags or clits and whatnot cause it's so icky to him. (which is cool, he admits it, etc... If you haven't read "Things I learned from women who dumped me," go find it this very second and read his description of first touching a lady down there:

"It felt like I'd slipped my hand into a large, lukewarm piece of lasagna that had been stood on its side. Only this lasagna had a pulse.

Even though SLAM's BF has been saved from podcast voice recognition, he might have a bit of a moment of unhappy recognition when his girlfriend steers him toward the toys and while reciting her suggested lines, 'Ooohh, wouldn't you like to fuck me with this one?' thus realizing that he is indeed poor Mr. Average Size. Cue sad tuba sound.
jillhttp://www.inbedwithmarriedwomen.com