Saluting the Aerosmith/Britney/NSYNC Super Bowl halftime show

There are certain musical arguments I’m reluctant to start. Not because I don’t wholeheartedly believe in them, but because I know that in a world of short attention spans and 140-character limits, I can’t possibly win. My defense of the band Winger, for example. Or my assertion that the Guns ‘N’ Roses album Chinese Democracy, had it been properly labeled an Axl Rose solo album, would have been rightfully hailed as a bold success.

But this may be the pop culture argument that brings me down for good: The 2001 Super Bowl halftime show, with Aerosmith, Britney Spears and boy band NSYNC, was one of the best of all time.

Whenever I’m asked to make a list of the best Super Bowl halftime shows – I’ve made at least five for various media organizations in the last decade – the show headlined by Aerosmith keeps rising up the chart. This year it was No. 5, which I’m already regretting as a couple spots too low.

There were strong parts throughout. The Ben Stiller skit at the beginning was pretty funny. But I’m going to go straight to the centerpiece – the big “Walk This Way” finish. That video is above. Please watch it now. My argument is below, in five frames.

2001 Super Bowl halftime show. (Photo: Associated Press)

Aerosmith, a band I’ve never been crazy about, was in strong form. They seemed comfortable with the diverse group of acts presumably forced upon them, something you can’t say about most Super Bowl acts forced to share a stage. And best of all, the band seems loose and spontaneous, as if everyone involved had a few drinks and decided who would do what just before walking on stage. Imagine that in 2016, when every movement seems to be choreographed, blocked and lip-synched. In an era when halftime shows are theater, it’s refreshing to see something that looks like actual performance.

Britney wasn’t atrocious. I’ll stipulate that Spears is definitely the weak link here – so the crux of our debate will be “did she ruin the whole thing.” I’d argue definitely not. I would have liked a little less of her and a more of Mary J. Blige. But if you’re going to have a version of Spears in your medley, this is the one you want. Desperately trying to break the orbit of her tween pop reputation, with her football hot pants and what looks like a toddler-sized Aerosmith T-shirt stretched on her torso. Yet at the same time, randomly wearing a dirty tube sock on her right arm – displaying the first signs of bizarre behavior that would dominate most of the 2000s.

Justin Timberlake is retroactively cool. I’m sure I watched this in 2001, saw Justin Timberlake with his green shiny pants suit, falsetto voice and exaggerated karate chop disco moves, and said out loud, “What a freaking wuss.” But that was before he won us over with several great “Saturday Night Live” appearances, “Dick in a Box,” and the superb “FutureSex/LoveSounds” album. So we can all laugh about this now and sort of appreciate it, like a funny Throwback Thursday photo of a friend wearing something out of style.

Mary J. Blige was there for a few seconds. Mary J. Blige, seemingly walking on stage with a family of beavers on her back, is not given enough to do. I would have handed half of Spears’ spotlight moments to Blige, who should have also entered by helicopter. But she’s still an asset, bringing legitimate diva appeal to the show.

The Nelly factor is real. When asking “What’s the glue that’s going to somehow bring this group of disparate parts together?” who would have guessed in a million years that the would be rapper Nelly, bounding out in a pandering half/Giants half/Ravens jersey, freestyling a rap over Joe Perry’s guitar solo. And yet it totally works, even as he grabs his crotch over and over again like he has to go pee-pee.

When you get past the campiness of it all, there’s something else I like about this performance. It’s fun and kind of dumb and it feels genuine. This would be the last halftime show that meets that definition, probably ever. The Sept. 11 attacks happened later that year, followed by U2’s wonderfully somber/celebratory response.

The “wardrobe malfunction” halftime show in 2004 led to an even more restrictive tone, draining almost all spontaneity from the proceeding. Halftime acts are now picked for their reliability. There is almost zero chance Coldplay will do anything weird or bizarre or particularly memorable.

So this is the hill I’m going to die on. Britney and NSYNC and Mary J. Blige in her beaver coat. The performance may be campy, but the nostalgia I’m feeling is real.

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Assuming we’re still on speaking terms, I’ll be covering the Metallica concert for the San Francisco Chronicle on Saturday night, and the Super Bowl commercials on Sunday. Follow me on Twitter @PeterHartlaub.

PETER HARTLAUB is the pop culture critic at the San Francisco Chronicle and founder/editor of The Big Event. He takes requests. Follow him on Twitter @PeterHartlaub. Follow The Big Event on Facebook.