Sunday, June 7, 2015

Rated: PG-13STARS: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, John Krasinski, Bill Murray, Alec BaldwinDIRECTOR: Cameron CroweGENRE: Romantic ComedyIf I had to sum up Aloha in one sentence, it would be: Impressive cast does what it can with what it had to work with.
Brian Gilcrest (the bankable Bradley Cooper) is an ex-military private defense contractor with a checkered past, coming home to Hawaii to help facilitate, in conjunction with the Air Force, the launching of a satellite--the pet project of billionaire Carson Welch (Bill Murray). While there, he steps into a romantic triangle involving his now married former girlfriend (Rachel McAdams) and the young Air Force assistant assigned to him (Emma Stone). In one scene, he is standing right between the two of them, and you can almost hear the refrain from that old song, "Three Coins In The Fountain" (which one will the fountain bless?) There is nothing terribly subtle about this movie.There are a couple of nice scenes, though, and an appealing soundtrack. One where Emma Stone's character, Allison, is dancing with Bill Murray. I've always liked Bill Murray, so whatever he does, I'm grinning or smirking. Even if it's contrived and too cutesy-poo to be believable. The other scene is the teary-eyed feelgood ending, which is worth the price of admission. Along the way we find out what Carson Welch's real reason is for wanting that bird up there, briefly touching on the what ifs of the militarization of space (currently there are treaties in place among the major powers to prevent that stuff from happening, but here it looks just too plausible for someone with deep pockets and an agenda to take matters into his own hands).Aloha is getting panned by the critics, saying it's not up to director Cameron Crowe's other work (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous), but you can't judge a rom-com by the standards of a serious drama. That's apples and oranges. So we're grading on the curve. The question is, does Aloha fulfill the basic tenets of romantic comedy? Well yes it does. It follows the standard rom-com format of boy gets girl--boy loses girl--boy gets girl back again. And when there is a romantic triangle, it takes you to the last possible minute to delay which way things are going to go, to keep ya guessin' and on the edge of your seat. I, of course, had it figured out early on.... but then I'm a trained professional... DO NOT ATTEMPT ON YOUR OWN!!!Aloha fits the definition of a "guilty pleasure." You can see the marionette master's hands pulling the strings, pushing your buttons and manipulating your emotions, but you are powerless to stop him...you old softy!Grade: B -

JILL'S TAKE

I've been taught that guilt—whether you're giving it or getting it—is unhealthy. But when it comes it "guilty pleasures," count me in! As I watched Aloha, I knew I was being manipulated, rooting for the right girl to get the wrong guy. (Who will transform into the right guy under her tutelage!) Sure, Alec Baldwin played Alec Baldwin. And John Krasinski played a monosyllabic husband that, in real life, no wife—military or otherwise—would tolerate. But romance is romance. And I'm as helpless as the next gal when it comes to staring into Bradley Cooper's blue, blue eyes. (Are they contacts, I wonder?)

I also loved the Hawaiian touches. The folklore and magic they played up. The music, the magnificent scenery. Hell, I even bought into the idea that blonde, Nordic-looking Emma Stone was part native. But then I watch ABC's "The Bachelorette" so I can't be trusted when it comes to liking syrupy schmaltz. Yes, I'm ashamed that I enjoyed Aloha as much as I did. But I never said I was Albert Einstein. (Or even Pauline Kael!)

Also from Tim Schaefer...

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This site is a labor of love. My real job is: ASSISTANT TO THE ASSISTANT TO THE ASSISTANT SPITTOON CLEANER. It's an honest living, and I have a lot of time to think and write while waiting for the head spittoon cleaner, and the assistant spittoon cleaner, and the assistant to the assistant spittoon cleaner to call in drunk, which gives me my chance to really SHINE!

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When I was a little kid my family would take me to the movies, but I don't remember ever arriving on time to see the beginning of the film. That was okay because, in those days, theatres would let you pay your admission and watch the picture more than once, if you so desired. (These were single screen theatres, so you didn't have people viewing one film and then trying to sneak into another--a not uncommon occurrence at today's multiplexes.) The theatre was a convenient place for vagrants to snooze the day away. (Now it's the public library!)

We'd watch the movie from whatever point it had progressed to when we arrived, then catch the first fifteen minutes or so during the next showing, finally grasping--in a somewhat anti-climactic way--what we hadn't understood about the characters and the plot because we'd missed certain critical information at the beginning.

And that's how the phrase "THIS IS WHERE WE CAME IN" was born.

It seemed lots of people were accustomed to viewing films in this casual manner because, after all, it was only "entertainment." But somewhere along the way, the theatre owners realized they could put more butts in the seats (and thus reap more profits) by booting everyone out after each showing and making them pay twice if they wanted to see the flick again. The unintended consequence of the policy was that it generated a newfound respect for the medium of film, if only from the standpoint that everyone started showing up on time to see the production in its entirety.

We've come a long way from those Doris Day movies of the fifties where the film censors dictated that if a man and woman were reclining upon a bed, they'd have to have at least one foot touching the floor! Today, every issue and situation that affects our lives is portrayed frankly--and graphically--in film. And that makes the medium more relevant to our lives than ever before. With that in mind, come take a look at what's inside Timmy's Noodle.

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Lenny Bruce died for our speech

TIMOTEO ON ACTING: We cannot pretend in our minds to NOT be doing something we are ACTUALLY doing, and then dismiss it as just "acting." Acting is living out one's fantasies without having to take responsibility for it.

BARF!

Because we want you to have a HEALTHY movie going experience, Timmy's Noodle will not knowingly review films that have a promotional tie-in (little action figures to lure kids into the burger joint, etc.) with a fast food restaurant chain!