Our latest War Against Iraq is over, did you hear? The NYT home page helpfully put the years of the war in the headline, like you might for an obituary of Amy Winehouse or Dick Cheney: 2003-2011. That’s a long war, even compared to wars we supposedly won, like World War II. (Not quite as long as the War Against Afghanistan, though … that phustercluck has already dragged on longer than any U.S. war, including the American Revolution.) And what makes this nine-year-long Iraq War “over,” anyway? Because Obama said it was over? Uhh, okay we guess! That sure was a great Ticker Tape parade in Times Square, and now we’re just doing vodka shots and eating oysters with some hot USO gal we met at Penn Station, or whatever people are supposed to do when wars are won. Anyway, it’s time to say good-bye to ALL OF THE THINGS nobody likes anymore, because 2011 was the year when the citizens of Earth finally got up, took a good look around, and said, “Wow. This crap has got to stop..”

The Forgotten War We Lost: How crazy does a year have to get to make us forget the Iraq War? As crazy as 2011, apparently. Back in 2004, people were so bummed out and pissed off over the Iraq nightmare that popular terror dolt George W. Bush very nearly lost the White House for a second time … to John Kerry! (Gah, Kerry and Edwards.) Iraq continued to be “a thing people thought about, in America” for several more years. It even played a rhetorical role in the 2008 election of old what’s his name, Obama. But today, about the only Americans crying about the Iraq War are the families of the 4,484 U.S. troops killed and 32,200 maimed and uncountable veterans driven to insanity and addiction and homelessness by the pointless bloodbath. The defense contractors are crying, too, but the U.S. Government cares a lot about defense contractors, and that’s why Afghanistan has been “ramped up” along with all those other countries with Muslims, and the actual United States is also an official war theater complete with hundred-million-dollar robot death drones in the skies over our foreclosed homes and half-vacant malls.

The Age of Rage: Where did the disgust begin, this year? And what made it go from harmless simmer to raging boil? There are many candidates for “the S.O.B. who pushed us over the edge,” but none is easier to hate than Scott Walker, the wingnut boytoy of Koch Industries. Because this year of protest and occupation began early in 2011, in February, at the Wisconsin state capital in Madison. By the time the labor protests were forced out of the capital, more than 100,000 people had taken part in the anti-Walker anti-Koch actions. It was here that the full power of YouTube video reports, Facebook updates and phoned-in pizza orders for the protesters became evident — and it was here, certainly, that the Powers That Be got to work on their plans to shut off social networking, text messages and the entire Internet. By the time the Everything Must Go/Year of Rage reached the poor neighborhoods of London and subway stations where San Francisco Bay people were protesting cops killing citizens in cold blood, turning off texting and mobile service was just a matter of a phone call from The Boss to the Telecoms.

What else? Stay tuned, or “Look on the Internet, later.” From unwanted Arab dictators to unwanted U.S. presidential candidates (“all of them, Katie”), 2011 was the year when we all said, “Eh, fuck it.”

Comments

“We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we're for them and trying to get them out of there.”
–Molly Ivins, from her last column, January 11, 2007

http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

"Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous"

At Wonkette this was how we earned our imprimatur at least until the architects of FAIL became so good at flexing their stoopid it turned bad — or virtually useless — for comic relief.

Oh, I'm sure the Tea Baggers will claim that Sheriff Joe is just an Obama political prisoner.

edgydrifter

That pictures says it all. 2011: The Year of the Scowl.

Swampgas_Man

I wish that nekkid schmuck in the corner was scowling; that grin haunts me.

ChernobylSoup

Is casual lesbianism still mainstream?

chascates

No, just exciting.

GOPCrusher

Not as exciting as accidental lesbianism.

V572 the Merciless

Premeditated lesbianism has its appeal as well.

Sparky_McGruff

Keep talking like that, and Michele Bachmann will run and hide in the bathroom.

MathIsHard

Is that the same as surprise lesbianism?

memzilla

Only if you're doing it right.

user-of-owls

Not sure, but we know with certainty that rampant lesbianism sure is. At least in Northeastern Oklahoma. And at least according to Metro Trend Spotter/Part Time Senator Tom Coburn.

Boojum_Reborn

I don't know, but I saw two women making out in a parking lot today and wanted to get out of my car and join them…um…to celebrate civil rights!

Swampgas_Man

"Casual" lesbeenism? Blue jeans allowed?

BlueStateLibel

You couldn't even sell half that crap on a late-night infomerical. But let's try anyway and give it a cute name – how about "Forever Crappy?" For just $19.99 you get the leering Trump, but act now and we'll throw in the snarling Saruh Palin!

Lionel[redacted]Esq

So. Mission Accomplished?

Geminisunmars

I said it somewhere else, but still seems appropriate:

More like Mission Fizzled.

BarackMyWorld

I'm going to point out that we were at war with the Philippines from 1899–1913 (though Teddy Roosevelt declared the war over in 1902, fighting continued for another 11 years against Muslim insurgents and DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR), and didn't withdraw until after World War II.

All the bullshit economic games in the two decades before is why we can't have nice things.

Negropolis

Also, last three decades. Also.

memzilla

On the plus side, the Rethuglican's "We Are The .001%" agenda has been fully exposed for the Koch-licking that it is. And their war on the poors, and the wimmenz, and the not-whites, and the middle class has been going on for over 30 years…

RadioYKWE

Memz, you are so right. If nothing else comes out of OWS — and I hope its not the end, but if nothing else the concept of the 1% has fully entered the lexicon. Even on the wingnut side, and they are so scared about it.

http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

Agreed. Thanks to the protestors and their allies, you can now talk about this with your grandparents – and not sound like a druggie.

hagajim

Sad thing is, they seem to be #winning!

Joshua Norton

2 decades ago wingnuts were crack-pot outliers now they're the center of the party. Street theater and histrionics have become institutionalized.

Now-a-days a sex scandal just gives a wingnut candidate more gravitas.

BaldarTFlagass

"Phustercluck"???
Ken must have hopped on the Tebow bandwagon. How nice.

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

♪♫ Tebowflect, Tebowflect ♫♪

http://wonkette.com ShitFilledExistence

Put some strategically placed numbers on that collage and it could become a very satisfying dartboard.

Lionel[redacted]Esq

Or a very creepy Advent Calendar.

http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

Wow … I could really ruin the last 13 days of my kids' Christmas Season by pasting this over the traditional Trader Joe's advent calendar box.

Baconzgood

HEY! On the bright side, Sarah fell off the planet, Michele's going to lose her seat. Trump looked like a huge idiot (even more than his usual idiot level) for the birther crap. America really is starting to hate the Tea-Party and people are protesting. All things considered it was a break even year.

BaldarTFlagass

Some nice points there Bacon, but yesteday's institution of "martial law, whenever we feel like getting around to it," as well as all the other shit that the Kochs and their misanthropic brethren still seem to be getting away, I still think evil triumphed overall. This shit's a lot more serious than the amusing clown show implosions provided by sarahmicheledonald.

Baconzgood

Some people look at the glass half full. Others look at it half empty. I drink the vodka. It makes life easier.

chascates

The Republicans look at the glass as theirs.

Tommmcattt

And the water, you layabout! What, you think you get the water for free? That's trust-fund water, dammit!

memzilla

I look at the glass half-full and ask "Who's pouring?"

flamingpdog

I look at it as the glass is empty and there's no beer in the house and I'm too sick to run to the beer store. Anybody interested in FedExing me some Anchor Steam or Black Butte Porter?

Added on: I could brew my own beer in the time it's taking Intense Debate to upload my comments and open up other peoples this afternoon.

Swampgas_Man

I look at the glass as twice as large as necessary, and I was kept offline all afternoon by a Windows update.

hagajim

I look at the glass as bone dry, with a cracked lip and a rimmer of shitstain. Yeah I guess in my book 2011 pretty much achieved a very high level of suck!

GOPCrusher

Even if you're right, it's going to take a long time to fix the damage.

Swampgas_Man

And who's gonna fix it?

fuflans

HEY! On the bright side

who are you and what have you done with baconz?

also: michele is going to lose? really?

subsum

OK, now off to the next one.

Since one out of two Americans is a broke-ass hobo now we need a new war so we can send the poor to die for freedom and apple pie. That's about the only way we deal with poverty in this country. It has worked in the past and there's no reason for it not to work in the future.

Iran, anyone?

BlueStateLibel

I'll go for Iran too but only if there's a nice cozy draft (and no exemptions) to accompany it. Then we'll see some interesting stuff.

chascates

I say Saudi Arabia. They've got the oil, they're the most brutal regime in the Middle East, and I'm tired of reading about how those thousands of wealthy princes buy up all the cool shit.
DISCLAIMER: I would suggest we hire the poorz from India or someplace to do the actually dying instead of our own poorz.

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

Brilliant outsourcing!

RavenRant

Saudi Arabia also just beheaded a woman for witchcraft, their second witchcraft execution this year.

NellCote71

Sometimes, I wish we could do that here. . . .

RavenRant

Who is on your witch list? Remember, Christine O'D is NOT a witch. She told us so.

Negropolis

But, Sarah has never denied it, so…and nor has Tom Tancredo denied that he is a warlock. So many choices; so much time.

RavenRant

Sarah did have the power of witchcraft exorcised from her in a Wasilla church ceremony.

This is one of the incidents that made me fear the end of the enlightenment was upon us.

flamingpdog

I'm feeling nostalgic – let's invade the South again, and this time, let's get it right! Think of all the jerbs that Reconstruction would create over the next 150 years. War profiteers could continue to enrich themselves, and our soldiers wouldn't be spending their dollars in strange foreign countries. The prison-industrial complex could go apeshit building dozens of Andersonvilles. And Barry could satisfy his jonesing for indefinite detention without trial for the next five years

RavenRant

Afterwards, we could reintroduce the Jim Crow poll test, but this time only for white folk. Basic civics, and random topics such as: does the sun revolve around the earth or vice versa, and is The Flintstones a documentary?

memzilla

A war on Iran, closing the Persian Gulf, oil goes to $400 a barrel? Great Idea! … assuming you own oil company stocks…

lumpenprole

Thank goodness I'm almost forty. Lived through the Golden Age of the all volunteer military. Wars all the time, but plenty of room to be a slacker (if you don't mind ramen noodles and small apartments).

lefty74

One man's junk is another man's treasure! Uh! Wait a second. Awh OK.

Joshua Norton

One man's horsing around is another man's felony.

Tommmcattt

Who is that crying man in the second row from the reader's left? I can't put my finger on his name, why is he famous?

***humming happily at work****

user-of-owls

I think his daughter fell down a well or something.

Tommmcattt

Or did he rape and murder a girl in 1992? Isn't that it?

Indiepalin

Headline of the day (Foxnews):

"Snakes Are High at Iowa GOP Debate"

bureaucrap

Even the wild animals are meth addicts out in middle amerika.

Generation[redacted]

Paging Samuel L. Jackson…

http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

turning off texting and mobile service was just a matter of a phone call

Actually, I'm bitterly disappointed this turned out not to be the year we became technologically advanced enough that I could 'turn off texting / mobile' devices of the distracted drivers I spot regularly around me.

user-of-owls

They do still sell guns you know.

Wait, no, I mean spit-ball straws, not guns, spit-ball straws!!

V572 the Merciless

Ron Paul, making sense again, while going after Newtie:

There was one other issue I personally found annoying. He’s probably as aggressive with the military as anybody. He supports all the wars in Middle East. A thousand times more than if I would. But in the 1960s when he was drafted he got several deferments. He chose not to go. But he will send our kids to war. He said one person wouldn’t make a difference. He didn’t know how he could make a difference. I see that as important information. People should know that and it reflects on him.

I know what you mean. He's kind of like a million monkeys on a million typewriters.__

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

Yep, Ron's nailed the bridge, but he is way off key with the verses and chorus.

BarackMyWorld

He also wants to end corporate welfare and audit the FED.

V572 the Merciless

And to end postal service, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, income tax, paper money, what little gun control we have, etc.But he does want to legalize marijuana! Oh and also crack, heroin, etc. The old coot’s nothing if not consistent.

BarackMyWorld

Nobody's perfect.

RavenRant

He's also responsible for bringing the ever-odious Rand Paul into the world.

He has a lot to answer for.

Negropolis

Under-fuckin'-statement of the year! lol

http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

Don't forget pasteurized milk. People dying of raw milk-based pathogens is just the invisible hand at work culling a few more consumers from the free market.

Tonight, I will slide into my tight fitting leisure suit, strap in the cod piece and slow dance close and snug with USO girls to celebrate the end of War.
If i could afford them, I'd bring chocolates and nylons.

flamingpdog

And new rubbers rubber tires.

Negropolis

Tonight, I will slide into my tight fitting leisure suit, strap in the cod piece and slow dance close and snug with USO girls to celebrate the end of War…If i could afford them. I'd bring chocolates and nylons.

/Fixed

http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

On the bright side, we can always remember our time with Kortney and feel relief that better broadband is coming soon!

flamingpdog

And the blessedly short time we had to stare at David Brooks' fat puss.

arihaya

too bad Herb Cain is out of race, otherwise we can redirect our troops from Iraq to that war Uzbecki-becki-becki-stan-stan

BaldarTFlagass

Well, we lost Riley, but we gained the phrase "tongue-punched fartbox." Is that a wash?

I sure hope they do/did, or my joke doesn't work as literally as I'd like it to.

RavenRant

Got it! Finally. I'm a little slow, sometimes.

flamingpdog

So, you're saying the Wall Street fat cat will be making a big comeback next year?

SayItWithWookies

Unless he's white, in which case it's The Forager.

Negropolis

Hurricane Katrina reference FTW.

RavenRant

The Hobo Beans cannery worker?

SayItWithWookies

I am so looking forward to the vicious champagne hangover after this year is done — even that will be a sign that things are getting better. Not that 2012 won't be filled with lots of hard work, turning twitchy hair-trigger soldiers back into civilians, cutting off the Koch ivory towers at the knees, taking the stopper out of the giant cask of corporate grift so their zillions in hoarded wealth can be made useful, and fact-checking a stack of Bibles' worth of lies, distortions and slanders, among other things — but after three years of the America-hating socialist running things, there's a little bit of light peeping through the clouds.

GOPCrusher

The one thing that could start 2012 off on the right foot would be to see Scott Walker get recalled by a resounding majority. And then see that weaselly little fuck give a speech saying that he was just trying to do the work that the Wisconsinites elected him to do.

flamingpdog

And then watching him get run over by a truck.

fuflans

a PIG truck, ala 'slings and arrows'.

Negropolis

Well, that goes without saying, though, it being Wisconsin, I'd prefer he be laid flat by a dairy cow in front of the capitol.

SayItWithWookies

Hell, the motherfucker didn't even do the things he campaigned on doing — not that I'm a Wisconsinite, but if he had, I think he would've said "But I promised I'd slash workers' rights and benefits, cut aid to schools, disenfranchise voters, demonize my opponents and generally make the economy worse in order to slash taxes for rich bastards, and you elected me, so why are you complaining?"
His was a typical Republican bait-and-fuckover campaign and he deserves whatever consequences come to him.

Biff

You knew I was a republican snake when you voted for me…

RavenRant

If during that speech he cries harder than Beck, Boehner, and Santorum's child put together, it will be all the sweeter.

http://wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

I can't think about this shit. I have gifts to buy. And then return.

Extemporanus

Cheer up, America! There's always next ye…

Aww, fuck.

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

Let's face it Extemp, the 0.01 Percenters have traded all of us 99%ers to a call center in Manilla. The ones in Madras & Bangalore wouldn't bite.

meatlofer

Sarah Palin -2012 ,Fuck it the worlds gonna end anyway!

DemonicRage

How great to have a prosperous strategic ally in that part of the world, a democracy that is a beacon to all other nations. Oh, wait…….

because 2011 was the year when the citizens of Earth finally got up, took a good look around, and said, “Wow. This crap has got to stop..”

Louder, Ken, in case the GOP arbiters of utter and complete fucking FAIL "presidential candidates" didn't hear you over the batshit shrieking at their millionteenth debate.

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

Anyone else encountering posting problems where the "posting" icon goes into a foggy mist and seems to not post and then you get two? I ended-up with two identical postings in BarackMyWorld's thread above, while at weejee@IntenseDebate neither post shows. Did Ken forget to feed/pay the IT department?

flamingpdog

I've been having a hell of a time posting this afternoon – I think they sneaked SOPA in without us knowing ab

chascates

I had that. Figured my internet was wonky.

GOPCrusher

All your posting icons, are belong to us.

V572 the Merciless

Dear weejee:

IntenseDebate isn't called "IntenseDebate" because it is sweet and good-natured. Screw you!

Regards,
IntenseDebate

JackObin

How about a war on stupidity? It will take years and countless billions, but no more daunting foe exists today.

RavenRant

First beachhead – Fox News.

Generation[redacted]

Cry havoc! And let slip the erudite dogs of war.

Ducksworthy

I for one will miss the age of reason. Alas, the enlightenment was all to brief.

His reporters began trying to express to him how embarrassing he was being and how difficult he was making their jobs (“Times media editor Bruce Headlam and media columnist David Carr had an intervention with Keller to explain how his columns were hurting their ability to cover the industry,” New York says), which Keller, in classic hack style, took to mean that his columns had sparked “conversation,” making his efforts worthwhile and provocative instead of just stupid.
~

V572 the Merciless

Pareene's list of hacks contains many pleasures. What would he do if the Kaplan Post capitulated, though?

I wonder if Newtie has a Bill Bennett-style wagering problem? He shouldn't bet on getting the nomination.

user-of-owls

Who the fuck is that guy? I thought all the original Munchkins had died off.

V572 the Merciless

Newt's next bold initiative:
Federally-subsidized hypersonic jet/rocket travel to Las Vegas!
Or: a mega-casino in DC, because after all it's an enclave not contained in any state!
Or: legalized gambling nationwide, with (because it's so efficient) a licensed single vendor selected by a full and open competition, in which every prospective vendor must be named something like "Sheldon."

Biff

Love the typo in the picture caption stating $20billion instead of million.
Adelson founded a hospice that has an outpost out near where I live; people think of him rather warmly. If they only knew.

In my market (San Diego) Faux News Channel is streaming this torrent of hate-filled sputum into your home tonight, if you're one of the elite with cable.

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

Is Faux Newz "live streaming" like the Rangoon Coolie's disease, that you pick up at that quaint restaurant when trekking in SE Asia? That's where the shit not only hits the fan, it hits the walls, the ceiling, the floor, and places you didn't even know you had places.

V572 the Merciless

Not if you don't watch!

But you gotta watch.

http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

Hey Ken, you forgot the… oh wait… there it is.

hagajim

Why not say Eh, Fuck It! They've all given us the big Fuck You! BTW – who is the horribly unattractive woman in the photo (middle right)? I seem to recall seeing her somewhere, but I can't recall where. How fleeting fame is I guess.

user-of-owls

On the upside, it appears irony has come back from the dead. Just above a Ken-pocalyptica-post, our cute petro-rapist friends are inviting me to, "Find out more about Shell's plans in Alaska."

not totally worthless….a 12 y.o. named a ship……they have animation of how awesomely they will respond to a spill ….AND a fun way to send Shell a holiday present:

Next week, U.S. Dept of the Interior (DOI) officials will be in cities across the Gulf Coast & Alaska, as well as Washington, DC, to accept comments on the Draft Programmatic Environmental Impact Statement for the Proposed 2012-2017 OCS Oil & Gas Leasing Plan. Your attendance and participation is needed!

Your participation is strongly encouraged.

Biff

Worst name for a ship ever!

user-of-owls

No Turkey Grinder, No Peeks!

chascates

I'm assuming some of those 54,000 jobs created will include removing oil from seabirds, cleaning up pipeline spills, and delivering money to congresspersons.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

2012 will be a pretty good year.

Soylent Green

Can you save just a little Cheney-shaped spot on that graphic for me? The years not over yet.

finallyhappy

Another debate? didn't we just have a debate? I will not watch. And maybe I will bake gingerbread while watching Miracle on 34th Street- and YES, I am Jewish. And I cry every single time Kris Kringle speaks Dutch(but not when the stupid commercial for Rosetta stone Santa speaks German)

Walkinwiddaking

"and now we’re just doing vodka shots and eating oysters with some hot USO gal we met at Penn Station,"

Hey man, this is 2011, you're in the shower at Happy Valley with Jerry Sandusky at Penn State.

Tundra Grifter

"…now we’re just doing vodka shots and eating oysters with some hot USO gal we met at Penn Station, or whatever people are supposed to do when wars are won."

VJ day in San Francisco turned out to be a major riot. Not a laff riot – a real riot. Worst between the General Strike in the 1930's (when the police attacked the longshoremen) and the early 1980's when the 9'ers beat the Cowboys.

Not the recommended way to celebrate the end of war.

ttommyunger

I blame our facile, corporate-owned Media for not only the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, but for enabling our progression into full blown Fascism. You know who you are.

tribbzthesquidz

Operation Shock and Dismay

fuflans

for me, the ricks and the scotts are the things that must go.

and i'm thinking they will too.

RavenRant

I like your optimism! Optimism – rarely encountered on Wonkette in these times.

There are indications that America is not entirely brain dead, and may actually be noticing obvious things. Yay!?!

Negropolis

I am so anticipating next year. 2010 was the Empire Strikes back, and 2012 is going to be Return of the Jedi if I have anything to say about it.