Coast Mountain Bus Company has lost a human-rights complaint brought by employees who say they were discriminated against for missing too much work because they were chronically sick, disabled or injured.

The [British Columbia] Human Rights Tribunal ruling called it discriminatory to place workers with high rates of absenteeism into Coast Mountain’s so-called “attendance management program.”

With some of the worse offenders — see paragraph 189 for the woman who missed 118 days of work or paragraph 237 for the employee who missed 98% of work days — the bus company tried such brutal tactics as asking meekly for a doctor’s note.

The bus company was fined for such inhumanity.

And paragraph 712 completes the farce:

With respect to those individuals who have been placed at Level 3 of the AMP since six months prior to the filing of the complaint, I order that CMBC pay the following in respect of injury to dignity feelings, and self-respect.

Got that, folks? Hurt feelings are actionable. So here’s the answer to my chronic datelessness: move to Canada. If she turns me down, I can sue.