Writing about sex and porn and porn stars and being a queer, feminist, polyamorous, educated woman can be conflicting. So can life. Join me for reviews of porn and sex products, for interviews with sex celebs and porn stars, for rants and raves, for musings and mewlings, and for trying to work out all the in-betweens.

Nov 18, 2010

BOLs or BEWBS

Image copied from the site in question; let me know if you mind, ladies!

Well, since I'm on the topic of boobs, and before that I was on the topic of lady love, this little slice of sexiness, courtesy of Fleshbot, caught my interest. It's a site called "Boobs Only Lesbians," and it's about a "fourth" sexuality its creators believe exists for women. We shouldn't be limited, they say, to the standard "lesbian," "straight," and "bisexual" labels! As ladies we should have a fourth option for "women who appreciate the company of women, the beauty of women, but with an aversion to the vag." This would be the "Boobs Only Lesbian," or BOL, classification, which the creators of the site champion in their "Boobifesto."

...huh.

Now, far be it from me to deride anyone for loving boobs. As I've already mentioned several times in several posts, and as I'm sure I'll go on to rhapsodize about in the future, I love boobs. Big ones, small ones, perky ones, droopy ones, big nipples, little nipples... you name it. I'm a fan. And it's kind of funny, you know, because as a woman with boobs I'm sometimes a little mystified by their appeal. I mean, after all, they're just these rather inanimate things that hang out on our chests, not really doing anything for the majority of their lives, unless their being sucked on in an erotic or life-giving manner.

But then again, they bounce so beautifully when women run. And they feel so nice to squeeze in the hand. And to snuggle your head up against. And to kiss and to... Ok, getting off topic here... Focus...

Ok, right, but the thing is, despite the fact that I am as big a fan of boobs as the next "gay," "bisexual," or "BOL" woman, and just as much in favor of fluffy fleshbags as most straight and even many gay men... I'm not buying the BOL thing. My first response when I read about the idea was this: "Bullshit! Pure, unadulterated bullshit! If you love women, you love WOMEN. Vag and all! If you want boobs and no vag, find a transsexual with boobs and a cock!"

Now, this may be intolerant of me. I may just be reacting strongly, in a fearful tone, to something new and different that threatens my ideas of sexuality. I do not want to be the next wave of bigotry against fringe sexualities! So I'm trying to examine my bemusement about this idea carefully to be certain there's no prejudicial attitudes lurking in my brain or lodged in my heart. And so far I don't think I've found any. But who knows, maybe this new way of thinking, this "Boobilosophy" is simply too new, too groundbreaking, too avant-garde, for little old me to wrap my limited brain around.

But I just... I don't know. I mean, if you want to call yourself a "lesbian," then it seems to me that the vag should be part of the parcel. How can you be a lesbian, a gay woman, if you're not into the most defining physical parts of the female sex? If you thinks boobs are lovely and you kind of want to play with them, but you're turned off by the idea of the under-parts because of their mysterious dark interiors; widely varied exteriors; unpredictable (if you don't know what you're doing) variations between dry, moist, and wet; possible hairiness; musky odor... Then are you a "lesbian"? Or just a woman who likes boobs? I'm leaning toward the latter. Couldn't they call themselves "Female Boob Appreciators"--FBAs? Or "Boob Enthusiasts With Boobs"--which would appropriately be shortened to BEWBs?

I get that this isn't maybe the most serious sexuality statement in the world: they'd probably have called them "breasts" instead of "boobs" if they really wanted to be militant about it. So I'm not gonna get too worked up. But seems to me, if you're scared off by the scent and feel of the down-theres, but you like the up-tops, you shouldn't be trying to take the hard-won and still-fought-for title of a woman who really loves other women. Lesbians--real lesbians who like pussy--still get enough shit for having "fluid sexuality" and going through "phases" when they announce their preference. They still get weird looks in public. They still get discriminated against all the damn time. So maybe trying to take their mantle and wear it around your privates so none of the other BOLs will have to look at your vag, which they have an "aversion" to, isn't so polite. Maybe being a woman who sometimes drunkenly makes out with other chicks at the bar so guys can watch and then calling yourself bisexual is along the same lines as calling yourself a BOL.

But, then again, this world sure can use more openness about sexuality, and maybe I'm just being prejudiced against people who are trying to jump the gun on terms that still have prejudice swirling around them. And maybe I just have a grudge against those straight girls who made out with me at the bar just so they could open their eyes and see a bunch of drunk coeds ogling us...

Ah well, hey, this site has lots of artistic pictures of beautiful bazongas all over it, so... I'm gonna go look at it. Peace!

3 comments:

I don't know. I get it.As a guy who has been sexually questioned an infinite number of times. I understand this super grey area.I've done things with guys even though I'm straight. I've never had anal sex with another man but have appreciated the mouth (in several ways) of another man. What does that make me?I still consider myself straight because these incidences have not occurred in over 5 years but the point is that there is a type of sexuality that doesn't MIND doing things with the same sex but is not interested in TRUE SEX with the same sex.I would call this exhibitionist. Sorry but I have to disagree with the end of your third to last paragraph. The sentence "Maybe a woman..." I identify with that. I've drunkenly made out with dudes and never even considered anything more. When I make out with a chick, my head always takes me to the "well what about long term" question.I get it but still disagree with the distinction. You are either gay, straight, or bisexual. Everyone strays and that doesn't; define anything.

Hey, boobs-only team here. We don't mean to cause any offence to lesbians, and I'm really surprised you think that. We're all about encouraging people to be open-minded and think people should be free to define themselves however they want to, and express themselves openly with other consenting adults. There are so many women we've come across that, after telling them about BOL, say "Oh! That's totally me! I love boobs!".Anyway, glad you're enjoying the pictures. BOL Girls. xx