Saturday, August 15, 2009

The so-called Happy Meat phenomenon finally comes out of the closet. This place puts the word front and center. It's one big happy time down on the farm!

The cow is smiling to beat the band! Talk about your wholesome good time!

Bundle the kids in the car and head on down. Depending on the season, you can enjoy a pumpkin patch, corn maze, and hayrides. And don't forget the multitudes of grinning animals.

Please contain your confusion and alarm when you discover that not every activity there is suitable for the whole family.

This flier—a promotion for the same happy farm—was under windshield wipers in our actual neighborhood, on our very street:

Granted, the sheep look a little cheerful, we suppose. Nothing to rival the toothy cow from the website, but still. They appear happyish, right? In spite of the dissonance created by the very name of the establishment—happy time… slaugherhouse?—the sheep are at least bearing up well.

They're exhibiting stoicism, maybe, more than actual happiness. Or a gritty determination to meet the end with courage and nobility, perhaps.

Then again, could it be the grim acceptance of impending death? The misery of their fundamental impotence? The rage of the condemned?

Oh, but just look at us go on, with our anthropomorphism and our habit of making everything complicated. Let's just start over, shall we?

See the happy animals. They are happy. They will die happy. Good night, everyone!

9 comments:

See, this is the problem with all you ~vegetarians~. You anthropomorphise everything, treating these animals as if they're human.

There is no evidence to suggest that animals can feel pain, nor fear their own death. If that were the case, they'd cry in anguish as we brand them, or writhe on the floor, desperate to preserve their lives, when their throats are slit. Haha, nope, none of that!

Why not do the same to plants? After all, they can track the sun in the sky. That's clear evidence of higher brain function, isn't it? Surely evolution, which has resulted in countless complex, unconscious processes, cannot explain this!

Wow, I've been reading this blog a long time and this has to be one of the most outrageous things I've ever seen! Who associates "happy time" with a slaughterhouse? And Benji--no evidence animals can feel pain or fear? Are you kidding? There is a ton of such evidence. And no, plants have no brains or nervous systems, and there is no evidence that they care for their offspring. Good god I am sick of the "But plants feel pain too" argument! No. It's not the same at all, and any intelligent person knows that.

The fact that there's no evidence of this place actually existing--not that I can find, anyway--AND the fact that it's so over-the-top makes me think that it IS an example of Poe's Law. I think you've got another subversive vegan-type living in your area, Ben. :) I, for one, am pretty relieved.

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Diagnosis

What is Suicide Food? Suicide Food is any depiction of animals that act as though they wish to be consumed. Suicide Food actively participates in or celebrates its own demise. Suicide Food identifies with the oppressor. Suicide Food is a bellwether of our decadent society. Suicide Food says, “Hey! Come on! Eating meat is without any ethical ramifications! See, Mr. Greenjeans? The animals aren’t complaining! So what's your problem?” Suicide Food is not funny.