LiveJournal of Erik Anthony Lucas

Chapter 5.5

I feel like I'm in one of those 'Choose your own adventure' books but this one is in my head and leaking out. As long as I'm not aware of it I will continue walking it's path. Okay, i stepped off the path. Yes, I could rediscover this format but I think I'll do housework instead; for now.

In Dutch Harbor On April 18th around 10 amI started to wait for a flight out.

I thought for sure I was going to be stuck there at least 2 days.Nope.I only had to wait there 7 hoursand I was THANKFUL.

Had a 6 hour layover on frightfully comfortable chairs in Anchorage until 5am-ish Saturday morning and finally touched down in Seattle around 9-ish.Then I stayed 2 nights at home as I waited for Monday to come around so I could fly to SanFrancisco so I could go scatter ashes.

Yes my father, who I only met once, had died and so I got to 'escape' my contract (AKA not have to repay my original airfare up) in order to meet the rest of my family; my 2 (half) sisters.

I met one sister face to face for the first time on Monday. Later, my father's wife, my sisters, and their brood and I went out to eat at an overpriced, very-okay, restaurant that my father used to go to.We ate, drank, and passed around a glass of scotch (my father's weapon of choice) & each made a toast.Afterwards we got down to the surf and scattered his ashes.

I spent one night in a room of the hotel that my sister works at (an overpriced hotel that caters to the tech field)andone night at my sister's home.We ate, played games, and talked.Familial bonds were formed as well as I know how.And I returned home.

Four evenings have played out since my return.My mouth is still heavy with the taste of ashes.But they have naught to do with my father.But all to do with a lousy fishing seasonand a tumor of uncertainty.

No actual tumor, yet, just uncertainty about work, life, and home.

I'm putting on warm clothes to fight the (terrible) 50 degree dampand fuck about the yard.

"Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker "

My waking is slower than slow when Kim is not around.In want of their mamaMauli and Pandahave been melted under the bed since Thursday.Food doesn't even excite them much.

Intentions to do work on our home got smote by a combination ofbeing haunted by the meagers and various incarnations of rain;mostly pelting.

At least today I cleaned out the fridge, did the floors, kitchen, bathroom andswept/vacuumed all around and caught up all the laundry.Yaddayaddayadda,

That being done and written I reckon I'll put on some rain clothes andtake a step outside to see what I can tweek on our deck.Ah, we're pulling out most of our deck so we will have one big concrete patio instead.The sort of thing which will accomodate a hot tub.Some year.