Here are some of my blocks that I made in the last 3 weeks. It took me a while to post this as I needed some help to figure out how to change the pixel size of the photos. Sadly Blogo doesn’t convert them automatically to fit into the Blogger format.

Loved making these blocks! Hope to find some time coming week to make a few more.

‘You are always a student, never a master. You have to keep moving forward’ - Conrad Hall

Sunday, 2 August 2015

How time flies! The last time I wrote something was 15 weeks ago. Did I really say 15 weeks. That is 3 month! What could have been such an distraction to not have written for so long. In May I was kept busy applying for a new job. I wrote a couple of application letters and 6 weeks after writing the first letter I had a new job. On hindsight finding a new job was easy peasy. I guess, all the worry and frustration was for nothing. End of June I gave my notice and half of Augustus I start teaching at another University of Applied Sciences. So that explains 6 weeks. What did I do with the other 9 weeks?

At the end of April I went to Pour l’ Amour du Fil in Nantes, France. Did not see much of the city this time, but met up with lots of old quilter friends and met some ones at the new venue Parc des expositions of la Beaujoire. I was there for only 2 whole days but away from home for four. Will share my photos in another post. That leaves me with another 8 weeks to explain my absence from my blog. The 4 weeks in June and the 2 weeks in Juli were very busy weeks. At the end of a school year one spends a lot of time marking papers, preparing tests and exams, and accessing student portfolios and interviews. Grading and giving feedback is very time consuming but an activity that gives lots of satisfaction. However it is also a (cognitive) activity that uses up a lot of mental energy. Did you know that the mind has a huge effect on one’s level of physical energy? Actually those 6 weeks in combination with job interviews was pretty tiring. Leaving me feeling drained.

I now only have to explain the remaining two weeks. That is easy, I’m on vacation! Yes, I have a 4 week summer break.

What will I use these four weeks for? On activities that will boost my energy level. Some of these activities are: 1. basking in the sun 2. practicing gratitude3. surround myself with great people4. think positively5. declutter my mind (that is a hard one)6. making time for family, friends and hobbies7. stimulate the mind8. practice minimalism - learning to say ‘no’9. focus on what’s in my control - learning to not worry about or hoping for something that I have no influence or control of10. taking responsibility for my emotions

Sunday, 12 April 2015

In trying to make a
better world around me, giving all to ‘the others’ (reference to #Lost), I’ve
lost a sense of myself. I’m on a new journey and re-discovering myself. I need
to pay more attention to myself.Act on
what makes me really happy. I really need to stop picking up the emotions of
‘the others’ and focus on those I have. I’m sensitive to those who surround
me.I sometimes get lost trying to
figure out if I’m solving my own problem or that of ‘the others’. I’m slowly
starting to understand it is not my own problem I’m tackling. The resistance I
encounter is actually not mine but theirs. Wow, getting lost in my trail of thought.That happens to me often too. My thoughts get
all jumbled.

“I can not always control what goes on outside. But I can always control
what goes on inside” Wayne Dyer. My affirmation ~I attract only peace into
my life. I need to remind myself of this many times a day. I need to practice
this at work, while doing errands, shopping and standing in line at the
check-out, greeting new people, driving my car, taking the elevator, talking
with people on the phone. I need to remind myself of this affirmation many
times on a given day.

“Don't let the
noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. Have the courage to
follow your own heart and intuition.” Steve Jobs. This quote popped up
on my Momentum dashboard. Have you discovered Momentum? Do check it out.

I have mental toughness! But you knew that didn’t you?
Like so many of you, I too get slapped by the irrational or unfairness of what
‘the others‘ put out there. Irrational people suck the life out of me. I go
numb and tune out at meetings. And now I will suffer the consequences! At least
that is what they want me to think. Lucky for me I developed over time the
inner strength to respond to adversity in a resilient and dignified way. I’m
taking responsibility and not blaming myself or ‘the others‘ for everything
that happens. I’m creating a calming space for me to be at my best. I’m moving
forward with focused action. I’m learning from this experience and developing
new skills that will serve me well in the future. I will not join and mimic bad
behavior. I’m choosing to spend time with like-minded peers. I’ve found my
gift; I’ve found my purpose. I have the ‘grit’ to get there. For that I’m grateful.

Brené Brown
again is able to voice what is happening to me. “If we are brave enough, often
enough, we will fall”. ~ Rising Strong ~ is the book about what it takes to get
back up. I want a ‘wholehearted life’. I know I’m on track but just in case I
will go and read her new book. Sadly I have to wait till coming September when
it is released.

I am the woman in the arena!

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who
points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have
done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who
errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error
and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great
enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at
the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the
worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place
shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor
defeat. Theodore Roosevelt, 23 april 1910.

I am a
gladiator. If you are curious, just look up the traits of a gladiator. But to
be cheeky, gladiators always do the right thing, they step up and make tough
decisions, they lead by example, they respect and appreciate the efforts of
others and they learn what works and implement replicable processes to succeed.
Gladiators have a mission for which they feel real passion. Gladiators create a
vision. Gladiators lead from the front, they don’t dictate from the back!
Gladiators know there is strength in teams and encourage risk-taking.
Gladiators keep their heads in a crisis and prepare for battle 24 hours a day.
But most important gladiators are teachers and mentors. Greg Smith.

So with
affection I will step into the arena again and again. I am a gladiator!

Sunday, 5 April 2015

Well I have to share the lovely photos of some of the blocks that the other quilters made from the Stonefields bee that I visited yesterday. Even I have something to show. Naturally I had to take some pictures while walking from the carpark to the shop.

Spring has sprong!

Look at all those lovely blocks

One of the quilters wasn't that happy with this block, that is shown underneath. I think it is pretty.

Well all the photos from now on are from the block I'm working on. The backside. Very important to show. Will iron this a little later on! Need to make the backside look pretty too.

The front side

The perfect circles being sewn on

Oops, these little blocks are not mine. Bep is doing an alternative for the hexies. I was allowed to make a picture of them.

The sun is showing itself on the way back to the car

Here the continuing progress of me sewing on the perfect circles

This is amazing glue. Have you discovered Roxanne's Glue-Baste-it? This incredible appliqué glue is 100% water-soluble and dries in minutes. Holds firmly and it does not feel stiff when dry. I was a little scared to use it, but another quilter convinced me when I was allowed to try some of hers first. So guess who bought her own unique syringe applicator? I just have to place a droplet of glue and the perfect circle stays where I want it and I can appliqué it on. No pins. Appliqué has become easy.

The transformative
power of gratitude to me is huge. At the moment I’m preparing myself to go on a
new journey. I’m facing one of my fears and accepting that ‘others‘ have the
power to define this journey. I’m feeling the fear. I’m anxious since someone
threw me a curveball at a time I least expected it. I was on a roll the past
couple of weeks. Having one of the best experiences in my life. Find my niche
and enjoying this gift. I’m now however waiting for the euphoria that comes after
meeting your fears and totally proving them to be groundless (Mike Dooley,
2015). I’m hoping that my fear is groundless.

When you feel fear, it invariably
means you're:1. Exactly where you're supposed to be.2. Doing exactly what you're supposed to be
doing.3. Becoming more than you've ever been before!(Mike Dooley,2015).

I know that worrying
is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steel your
joy and keep you very busy doing nothing (Lionel Willard). I've tried it and it doesn't work!

It is kind of funny
that my attitude gets me in trouble every time, especially my inquisitive
attitude. I’m critical and insightful. Usually I’m praised for this. I try to
understand the person, and people in general. I listen! I love sharing my
knowledge, views and vision. Trying out new things is the explorative part of
me. Being innovative and not being scared of change is me (this trait usually curves me well). Putting this
experience into practice makes me rather successful and enables me to achieve
my goals and the goals of others. Being a researcher is not just a role it is
who I am. Sadly, this trait convokes fear in others.People in general are scared to move forward
and embrace change. I love change and new experiences. Exploring is what I need
to do.

Every time I think
I’ve got fear figured out, I learn something new that helps me to understand
me. Fear isn’t something to deal with and get past it. It is a signal that I
need to take action ‘now’. I realise a window of opportunity is opening for me. This is
what Mike Dooley means: becoming more than you’ve ever been before. I’m
grateful for this insight.

The bells in the part
of me that ‘knows’ that I need to go for IT are ringing. Since Thursday my mind
and body are on full alert, the neck pain and backache are signs that my body
is in stress. Getting past my fears is more important than ever. My body can’t
handle this stress for long!

Maybe I just should be
grateful that that someone threw me that curveball. Maybe I’ve stopped growing
and I’ve achieved what I was meant to do. I have to stop avoiding being chained
by this fear that I’m not happy when I feel not being accepted for who I am,
the inquisitive Helen. I have to stop seeking tranquility and trying to conform.

Seeking this
tranquility is crippling. Me trying to fit in is blocking my ability to be the
best at what I do. It seems I’m not the only one who is being encouraged to be like
everyone else. The organizations we work in, the society we live in, is
teaching us to avoid unpleasantness, deny reality and miss opportunities, by
showing us that when you don’t conform you will be dismissed. We are learning
to live with the fear to fail, the fear of dismissal, the loss of social status
and income. Ultimately this can lead to depressive feelings. The prevalence of depression is high in the Netherlands. The
percentage of people with anxiety or depression varies between 34 to 45% in the
Netherlands (RIVM). Usually this also affects the quality of life. Quality of
life declines! This also affects absenteeism! The percentage of employees that
were absent from work in 2010 is above the EU27 average (RIVM). In the
Netherlands 40% of the working force is one to 15 days absent from work. Who would have thought?
Heinz Bude, a German sociologist, proposes and interesting perspective.

We live in constant
fear and either become depressed, conform or never meet our expectations. The
message society is trying to give is to be yourself and seek your full
potential in our individualistic society. But underneath on a relational level
we hear that we prefer everyone to be the same. I wish I could read German. I
would really like to read Heinz Bude’s (2014) essay, Gesellschaft der Angst
(Hamburger Edition). If someone who is reading my blog and know where I can
find a translation of this essay, please message me.

It is hard to teach a
dog a new trick. I can’t change my inquisitive personality. I do realize that
this leads to irritations, envy, and discomfort in some people. Let’s just
decide we need to accept each other’s habits; the good ones as well as the bad
habits. Is this too easy to expect that we can accept each others habits?

I’m listening to my fear
but I won’t obey it. I’m at a crossroads. Wondering where this path will go.

As you know I have an
INFJ personality (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). I therefore flourish in a
career that involves developing deep insights into people, and helping them to
change for the better. I like a good working atmosphere where I can use
innovative ways to give people insight, build relationships and reduce
conflict. I like a workplace where there is more:

thinking
about ideas and information (Introversion)

dealing
with possibilities and potential (iNtuition)

making
decisions using subjective values (Feeling)

using
a well-defined and structured workstyle (Judgment)

I need to know that
what I do has meaning, helps others, and leads to personal growth. It really
helps when this is possible in line with my values, principles and beliefs.
Usually my strengths make me easy to work with. Sadly, there is always someone
who will take advantage of INFJs’ commitment to their responsibilities by simply
shifting their burdens onto me. I usually don’t even mind. However, there are
times it becomes an issue, when that person isn’t happy with the result.
Especially when that person doesn’t feel appreciated and isn’t getting the
attention that person believes she deserves.

Wondering what your personality type is?

A flaw in my
character/personality is that I don't tolerate someone who undermines my ethics or values. I have no
tolerance for lapses in reliability or morality. I'm also not good with attention seekers. How hard I try not to show or act on
this, some how it shows. I can't hide my true feelings and emotions. The usual sensitive, understanding, and principled
person becomes dysfunctional. Yes, I don't react well in such cases. I therefore need to step back and act the lone wolf from
time to time, pursuing my own goals in my own ways. I avoid (certain) people and
this doesn’t make me popular. My weaknesses are my sensitivity, that I’m
extremely private (although you might not think so when you have been following
my blog for some time or are reading this post), and I always need a cause (goal). I can burn out easily. I
find it hard to balance my ideals with the realities of day-to-day living. I'm a little perfectionistic.

I crave working in a
meaningful setting where creativity is a necessity. Using my insight to connect
events and situations to effect change is where I’m happiest. I like being
independent, following my heart, applying a personal touch, creativity and
altruism to everything I do. Teaching gives me that satisfaction.It is rewarding and gives me energy.

At the moment it feels
like I’m under scrutiny, I’m wilting under the criticism and pressure of some
people who want me to conform. I’m trying to figure out how to remain being me and
not be confined by what the ‘others‘ want me to be. Although when I ask how they want me to act, they can't be specific in their answer. I really need some clarity. I really hope to understand what they want from me.

So lets do IT and hopefully I can handle the
consequence. I’m on a crossroads (again) and wondering which path to take. Both
paths seem attractive. I’m grateful I'm conquering my fear and that I’m up for another challenge.

Sunday, 29 March 2015

1. Teaching is my
gift! To teach others to become critical thinkers, to understand and apply
their knowledge, to share this knowledge with others and be creative is a very
satisfying job. I absolutely love mentoring their learning process. The
greatest thing of all is that I learn too.

2. I’ve also learned
that when ‘others‘ acknowledge this gift, it makes me happy. I seem to need
this re-enforcement. Knowing it myself is just not enough.

3. Sharing your
successes is not the way to go in Dutch society. What frustrates me is that it
is so hard to remain positive, when you are surrounded by naggers.I’ve learned that I only need one or two
people who are more focused on the negative than the positive, to affect my
mood.

4. There are only 24
hours in a day and work shouldn’t take up all of them. I have this compelling
need to try and finish all the tasks on my to-do list. I feel guilty when I’m
not working, as my list is very long. I’m learning to prioritize and make
choices! I’m even getting help to tackle this problem. But I have to admit that
I’m a little scared that when I have the courage to 'voice' my choices some
people might not be so happy with me. To be really truthful, I can prioritize
and I can make choices. The reason I don’t voice them is that I’m scared of the
consequences.

5. I’ve learned that
writing has a healing affect. Blogging is not dead.

6. I like discovering.
I’m a curious person. I loved discovering Zwolle with my mum.

7. Listening to Jason
Mraz in the morning is a great way to start your day, next to your first cup of
coffee

8. I’m the happiest in
my work when I care the least about what happens.

9. This quote says a
lot about who I am. ‘Identity is never simply a creation. It is always a
discovery‘ ~ Dr. David Benner (2004)

10. When the wind is
blowing hard and rain is added to the equation, I don’t like to walk. I can’t
wait for spring to really arrive so that I can get back into the rhythm of
walking.

11. I really love this
block, one of the 225 blocks in the Dear Jane Quilt.

Here are the 11 things
I’ve learned in March.

I need to add one
more! I don’t like odd numbers. 12. I’ve learned, I like to ponder and wonder
about things. I also like to share my thoughts with you. At the end of
April I will share with you what I’ve learned in April.

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Me

the slow quiltmaker

About me

I’m a quiltmaker who in her spare time, of which I never seem to have enough off, tries to find serenity while making quilts. I love everything that has to do with traditional quilting. I've been quilting since 1989, but really got into it from 2006. Aagje Admiraal from the Quiltkelder in Putten has taught me the basics of hand piecing & quilting.

This blog is about the musings from my own life, pondering on the interactions of us in general & my life's journey and trying to understand the unexpected. I love writing down my roving thoughts, but like quilting I don't allow myself this pleasure enough.

I’m starting to appreciate the simplicity of my moments. I’m a rookie at the practice of gratitude. I’m learning that being thankful in everything is more important than being thankful for something. In the practice of gratitude I've found happiness.

I hope you find something on here that makes you smile or ponder. Or both.

Inspirational

"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with others, and along those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects." Herman Melville

Quote

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.”—Marie Curie (1867-1934), chemist, physicist, Nobel Prize winner