You Need to Try Orgasmic Meditation — Here's Why

Take responsibility for your orgasm and you just might feel more confident in all other aspects of your life.

By
Macaela Mackenzie

Jul 27, 2016

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"Orgasmic meditation" sounds New Age-y, but this super focused practice of getting to the big O with your partner could be secret to not just a happier relationship, but a happier life. OM essentially applies the same principles of attention, mindfulness, and spiritual connection that you'd find in a yoga class to your sex life.

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Right now, we're going about orgasms all wrong, according to OM evangelist Nicole Daedone, preacher of the 15-minute orgasm (yes, really) and creator of One Taste, an educational platform touting the benefits of practicing orgasmic mediation. To fuel all the other areas of your life, your orgasm should be your number one priority.

Yeah, we said it. Your number one priority.

Whether you buy into the spiritual pursuit of chasing a state of Nirvana or not, the practice has some super practical roots. OM advocates paying attention to your sex life with the same sense of focus that you would while delivering an important presentation at the office or having a heart to heart with your best friend. This is the type of sex life strategy that prevents the "passion drift" — the dreaded drifting apart that tends to invade the bedroom after a few years of responsibilities set in — Daedone sees in many of the couples she works with.

Too often, women's needs take a backseat to their partner's needs and their kids' needs, and having a deeply satisfying orgasm can seem like an indulgence. "We give and give and give and run on fumes then wonder why the giving is so hard or why we get tight or sharp with the people in our lives," says Daedone. "If we approach it in reverse, if we deeply nourish and give from our overflow, everyone benefits."

And the best way to nourish — really nourish — yourself, says Daedone, is through the process of connection and biological gratification that comes with an orgasm. "In my opinion, there is no single greater factor that effects a woman's wellness — physiological, emotional and spiritual — than the activation of the orgasm state in your body," Daedone says.

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To be clear, orgasmic meditation distinguishes between climaxing and the overall state of orgasm, the former being a few seconds of intense physical pleasure while the state of orgasm is really the continuous, heightened state of consciousness and pleasure you experience in connection with your partner. In other words, besides the actual climax, it encompasses the entire pleasurable process of getting you right to the edge before the big release.

Most importantly, making your satisfaction (and an epic O) a priority reminds you to take responsibility for not just your own orgasm but also your own happiness.

"As a woman, I was taught that 'he did it to me,' 'he made me feel good.' I didn't realize, oh, wait, no, the connection with the partner just awakens that sense," Daedone says. In her experience, the process of taking responsibility for her pleasure has made her more proactive about her desires outside the bedroom. "OM makes me become more and more aware of who I am."

Back to that 15-minute orgasm, though… All it really takes, according to the experts at One Taste, is a "partnered consciousness practice where one partner strokes the other one's clitoris for 15 minutes with no goal other than to feel and be present." Translation: It's about you and your partner devoting all your attention to how each and every touch feels.

That may sound a little intense, so make sure you try it in an environment where you feel comfortable, relaxed, and present (whether that means candles, massage oil, or Beyoncé blaring in the background). Then forget about finishing. Seems counterintuitive, we know, but the best orgasms aren't goal-oriented, they come when you pay attention to and relish every stroke. Settle in, enjoy the connection, and make your orgasm a priority again.

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