Negotiating

Negotiating is one of the most misunderstood but arguably the most important
tools to have in life. Every exchange involves some level of negotiation,
from determining what clothes to wear in the morning to convincing a friend
to see your point of view or do something with you. Seeings it's importance
to everyday life, it may be hard to understand why it isn't considered a
much more important tool for communication, but the truth is you don't have
to be a great negotiator to get through day to day life. Being good enough
works for most, and because few have seen a great negotiator in action,
fewer still understand what can be gained from great negotiating. Discussed
below are some of the reasons why negotiating is important, as well as a
process for negotiating effectively. Finally, a pdf is attached that
provides a game for learning the benefits of great negotiation.

Why is negotiation so important?

Short term gain results in long term losses: Too often
people view negotiations as a one-time process. This mindset encourages
people to create the best solution for themselves without considering the
implications for the other side. As such, because people don't believe they
will be working with the group again, they create scenarios that when they
do negotiate in the future (as often happens), they no longer can negotiate
with goodwill intact. For example, some people will make deals look better
than they are in order to maximize profit during this deal, and the
destruction of credibility will hinder the creation of a good deal in the
next negotiation.

Tensions between self interest and group interest: This is
a very real and very problematic situation for many. In the short term, self
interest wants to take over, but in the long term, group interests is always
the way to go because of the credibility, trust, and goodwill that develops.

Trust is hard to build but easy to break: Because of this
truth, the maxim of always tell the truth is recommended. Although the truth
can hurt you in the short term, in the eyes of others you will be regarded
as courageous, honest, and trustworthy, which will encourage people to work
with you in the future. They know you won't try to hide things, which
results in mutual respect and improve your communication and effectiveness.
This, though, can be taken away in a heartbeat, so guard your reputation
fiercely.

Reciprocity is important for building a relationship:
Thinking win-win is the ideal, and following through or creating those
scenarios allows a relationship to develop. By doing others favors, and
asking for favors in return, trust is slowly being built. With each positive
interaction, a relationship develops with goodwill that can be used when
conflicts or problems can (and usually will) develop.

Positive coalitions act as agents for change: By developing
strong, trusting, and positive relationships with others, you can coordinate
efforts to create mutually beneficial results that would be impossible to
achieve by acting independently. No man is an island, nor is any
organization. As such, develop great relationships with other organizations
to create long lasting and high impact change.

What is a successful negotiation process?

Come up with any "better than alternatives"-
This is for understanding where the other side is coming from. How
strong your position can be in the negotiation depends on the
alternatives that the other party has. If they have great alternatives,
you may have to tip the scale in favor of that organization to 'woo'
them. On the other hand, if the other organization has an alternative of
declaring bankruptcy, for example, you are operating from a position of
strength and can dictate more of how the exchange will occur. While you
definitely don't want to take advantage of this situation (see reasons
above), it allows you to effectively argue for a certain outcome.

Have something that satisfies all parties interests-
The number one way for people to say 'yes' is to know that they are
getting what they want from the transaction. If anyone is left out, or
feels left out, they could sabotage the whole deal which will put you
back at square one. As such, offer to include all who may be affected by
your deal, even if they may decline because that is better than having a
deal implode because of the outside party.

No waste, best of many options-
This is a lot like Econ 101 in that by leaving certain things on the
table, they are being put to no good use and are a waste of resources.
By working through all the details, you can maximize the benefits for
all involved.

Use objective criteria-
Many decisions and arguments are based on different sets of data
gathered, and the easiest way to undermine your position is to use
biased data. Finding statistics from a trusted third party who can't
'fudge' the numbers one way or another makes your arguments that much
more compelling.

Well-planned commitment-
Not only is making a decision important, but you also have to follow
through on your commitments. By outlining what each party will do in the
beginning and sticking to that commitment throughout will develop mutual
trust and make interactions in the future much easier.

Good, two-way communication-
Not only what but how people say things is very important to reaching an
agreement. Having good communication, where one side isn't dominating
the process, results in the feeling of a level playing field that
promotes trust and respect between the parties, no matter what
discrepancies exist.

Process improves relationship-
The goal of any negotiation is two fold: to get what you want from the
transaction and to build a relationship. By following the steps
previously highlighted, you are well on your way to improving the
relationship, which will bring much better deals and make working
together more effective and enjoyable.

Conclusion

Negotiation isn't something someone either has or doesn't have, it is
something that takes time and dedication to develop. While some may have a
natural propensity for it, anyone can become at least competent at creating
great deals. The easiest way to learn negotiation is through practice, and
lots of it! Appended below is a worksheet that details a negotiation game
anyone can play, and another easy way to work on negotiation skills is to
play board games with lots of tabletalk. Good luck and have fun!