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Aliens to conduct first Celeb BB shopping task

A UFO has landed in the Celebrity Big Brother 2014 garden today – and the housemates will have to complete a series of alien tests to win a luxury shopping budget.

Throughout the night, the group was disturbed in their sleep – and they were awoken this morning by electronic distortion noises and the lights in the house malfunctioning.

Moments later, they were called to the garden to find a tiny alien and his guard emerge from the UFO. The alien explained that they have travelled many light years to study a human species known as ‘celebrity’, and that they will carry out tests on the housemates today and tomorrow.

If the housemates complete these tests to the aliens’ satisfaction, they will win a delivery of luxury earth food – but if they fail they will be stuck with basic rations for the next week.

The aliens will periodically call housemates to their spaceship to take part in the tests, which they will enter by crawling through a tunnel in the UFO that leads to the large task room.

Today’s challenges are as follows:

Pain Threshold – Liz and Lee

The aliens have observed that celebrities seem to be very thick skinned and can withstand all types of insults and attacks from earth media. This has led the aliens to wonder if celebrities have a higher pain threshold. Liz and Lee will be escorted into the UFO where they will have their physical and emotional pain thresholds tested.

To test Liz and Lee’s physical pain limits the aliens will use the following hi-tech Martian devices:

An elastic band slapping device that delivers a painful slap to their forehead

An electric hair removing epilator that will painfully strip the hair off their arms and chest

A ‘neon electro wand’ that gives off visible sparks of static electricity, causing painful shocks when it touches skin

The aliens will also test the emotional pain of all housemates by dishing out their worst insults.

Ego – Luisa and Jasmine

Celebrities seem to have unusually high opinions of themselves. Does this mean that they have enlarged egos within their celebrity brains? To test this, Luisa and Jasmine will be shown a series of Tweets sent in by Big Brother viewers, and will then be asked whether these tweets are about themselves or the other housemates.

In addition, the aliens will reveal that they’ve ‘scanned the brains’ of viewers and ask them questions about their findings, which are the results of a poll that was conducted on the official Big Brother website over the weekend.

Dinner with the Alien Leader – Jim

Later, the aliens will invite one of the ‘finest specimens’ of celebrity, Jim Davidson, to enjoy a meal with their leader. Jim’s task will be to politely answer the aliens’ questions and try not show his disgust as he eats the weird delicacies that they serve for dinner.

This will come in the form of another type of alien’s head. Different parts of this grotesque head will be made of gross edible ingredients:

The top of the alien head lifts off to reveal a gross bright green jellied brain – pigs brain.

The eyes can be pulled out – these are boiled pigs eyes dyed red.

The alien’s tongue can be removed, and then the puss – dyed fermented stinky tofu – can be squeezed out

The alien’s ear wax – dyed sticky Japanese Nato beans – can be scooped out with a spoon and eaten

All five of these housemates will spend the night in the spaceship.

Trigger Intelligence Test

Throughout the day the celebrities who have remained in the house will be given intelligence tests by the aliens. The aliens will produce an alien song in their spaceship, and once they hear the first note they must immediately go to the garden and repeat the song perfectly using ‘intergalactic space trumpets’.

If they successfully replicate the space song then they will win a treat.