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Graduate Students Document the [Oppressively Hegemonic] Brony Experience
by
Jim the Ponyguy

"Yup, its science alright." (Photo by EQD)

Groundbreaking research has taken place on the campuses of Rutgers University in New Jersey and the University of Connecticut.

Researchers have spent countless hours browsing through My Little Pony fandom websites in an attempt to find how being a "total nerd" and a brony relates to masculinity and oppressive patriarchal social paradigms, a new study documented by Adam Gabbatt (The Guardian) shows.The
study was presented to a group of grad students and at least one
underwhelming journalism intern at the International Conference of
Masculinity held in Manhattan this week.

Other
than the fact that such a conference even needs to exist, what is
even more amazing were the events described. Professors talked about
how nerds ignoring bullies is contributing to the patriarchy,
colleagues shared techniques for male bonding such as 'friendship
labs' designed to make assholes less ass-holey, and researchers
presented data on brony internet forums and their effect on
equality.

All
of these panels were curated by professionals. Graduates and doctors
-people with almost as many years in academia as some of us have been
alive- spoke to crowds of similar people about why masturbating to
cartoon horses is oppressive to women.

The
researchers in question have apparently spent time analyzing the
inner workings of the brony fandom and their intracultural
behaviors and mannerisms (memes) in the name of science.

"Bailey
and Harvey had found that there was a community on the image-based
bulletin board 4chan of men who like My Little Pony. Within this
community, having sex with a real person, in real life, is
seen as a negative – and not “clopping” is a
form of heresy. What was happening here was an example of
“normal” hegemonic masculinity in action, Bailey and Harvey
said."

Years
of hard work studying gender and social issues and hundreds of
thousands of dollars in student debt has led up to the graduate
students penultimate dissertation - a study on why teenagers
masturbating to horse porn is oppressing women everywhere. Prime
examples of their hard work are seen in"screen grabs" of
posts on boards only presumed to be ponychan and /mlp/, quotes such
as "Go be a faggot somewhere else," and the theory
of “hegemonic
masculinity.”

It is not entirely certain whether or not the researchers simply forgot to finish their homework and drafted up a paper last minute while browsing /mlp/. By looks of the researcher, its entirely possible.

Researcher John Bailey, hater of all things finely equine

In
response to the research claiming a false sense of masculine
domination within the brony fandom, one /mlp/ user posted:

"Dumb
fucking feminist kikes..."

Certainly
the researchers are misguided in their presumption that the fandom is
composed of sexually perverse womyn haters.

According
to the write up by thegaurdian.com, the term hegemonic masculinity
pertains to how "men manage to assume and retain dominant
positions in society, at the expense of women." The
author states that being a hegemonic male means you are "powerful,'
'dominant,' stoic,' 'successful'... not being weird or different,"
basically anything other than being a loser. And by vying for these
traits, men somehow "hold women back."

Did
you catch that last part? Hold women back.... At the expense
of women...

The
researchers found that bronies on 4chan calling each other faggots
correlated to them identifying with the male power structures.
Idolizing pony butts and disregarding human vagina makes bronies women
haters and misogynistic assholes.

Apparently
it is now scientifically proven that because bronies adhere to the
standards of masculinity -while still maintaining to 'redefine gender
roles' by obsessing over a child television show- they are oppressing
women. If men are being men, then then are bad! But if men are not
doing men things, but still think men things, they are still bad! The
web of hypocrisy is never ending.

The
only apparent role men can play in society is at the foot of the bed
attending to a woman's every whim like a fragile lap dog. Any moment
a man acts out of line and expresses any emotion other than regret
and humility, a woman's feelings are hurt and the entire gender is
considered oppressed.

Notice the Symbol of Male Oppression.

The study of Social
Issues has become such quack science that researchers no longer
identify oppressive power structures in occupation, institutions, and
society as the root cause of inequality. Instead these professionals
gravitate towards identifying internet memes and teenagers calling
each other names as a matrix of oppression. [Buzzwords Intensify]

In the words of Adam Gabbatt, "it's quite hard being a man," and
truer words were never spoken. Just being a man is a sign that you
are evil. Just by existing you are perpetuating the 'invisible
privilege' that your gender provides. So fuck the haters and make the
best of it. Clop away to whatever your dick desires you massive
faggots, because either way, >no hooves or >hooves, men will
always be oppressing someone or something.

Comments (33)

It's impossible to find words to describe how hilarious it is that researchers are sticking it to the patriarchy by observing /mlp/ and taking everything there at face value. Clearly I entered the wrong field of study.

Some people say it as a joke, but it's true. Literally ANYTHING can be twisted into an accusation of whatever -ism is popular if you jump through enough hoops. I recall something from an InternetAristocrat video once, where he was reading out a question some guy had for a crazy Tumblr radfem. His question was something like, "So if I don't like sex with black women, I'm discriminating and being racist. But if I DO like sex with black women, I'm exoticising them, and that's also racist. So in what possible context am I even allowed to THINK about black women without it being racist in some way?" I believe the response was something along the lines of "Check your privilege you evil white cis male."

So, honestly, fuck it. Let the crazies live in their world of paranoid hysteria. Let radfem women go through their lives in perpetual fear of phantom rapists, loathing the whole world until their own petty hatred consumes them, and let these limp-dicked "nice guy" pussies who go along with it continue flogging themselves and pouring salt in their own wounds as recompense for being born male. If that's the world they want to live in, let them. Eventually they'll all either wise up or kill themselves.

And until that day, I'm going to continue living my life how I want, fapping to what I want to fap to, and not assigning any of these people any degree of credibility. Because honestly, after all the self-castrations, none of them have the balls to actually go out and change or affect anything. I have no fear of a future ruled by feminists and tumblrites, because slacktivism and this namby-pamby intellectual posturing about masculinity and the patriarchy never accomplishes anything, and as long as we keep pointing and laughing at this kind of shit, and make sure the next generation grows up knowing what utter crap it all is, then it never will.

Shut your fucking face. Diamond Tiara was a fucking fantastic editor. You never heard her whining about oppression and patriarchies. That's because she was born rich, and knows that her purpose in life is to do the oppressing. Mark my words, that girl is going places.

And claims that 'men can't see the patriarchy' are bullshit. If men can get into powerful positions and keep women down, and got there by subjugating women, that means they were able to keep a lot of men down, and subjugating them, too, as thry were competing with a lot of other guys (duh). And often systematically but the men are different groups is the difference. - it just manifests itself as regular bullying and fucking over to the victims, rather than sexism, which really is just the same, but across sex lines when you think about it. The specific dynamics are a lot different, but it's still bullying and there will be some similarities in the way it works and the attitude behind it.

Just it's the Republicans (who are mostly men!), not men.

So how about people work together just to stop the 'hierarchy' and its bullying, not just the 'patriarchy' within that, if it exists?

I saw an article (I didn't save the source, but I think it was on a UK site about a study in Boston) talking about Benevolent Sexism vs. Hostile Sexism.

The Hostile examples were what you'd expect (cat calling, pinching, etc), but the Benevolent ones seemed like grasping at straws.

Basically, if I were to open the door for my girlfriend while smiling, call her an affectionate name, picking up the check every other time we go out (when it's my turn to), and give her my jacket if she complained about being cold, I'm not being a loving, considerate partner- no, I'm being an oppressive scum who's pushing my SO in enforced childish roles.

>Within this community, having sex with a real person, in real life, is seen as a negative – and not “clopping” is a form of heresy. What was happening here was an example of “normal” hegemonic masculinity in action, Bailey and Harvey said.

They do realise the anons are joking, right?They do realise zoophile acceptance is not the predominant attitude in society?