Monday, December 12, 2016

Acceptance: The dystonia challenge

“Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that somethingis what it is and there's got to be a way through it."

~ Michael J. Fox ~

Dystonia can alter the course of our life from subtle to dramatic ways, but it need not be how we define ourselves. Reaching the point where we can be at peace with this when living with such difficult symptoms is one of the hardest things we will ever do, but dystonia is not the definition of our life. It is not the book of our life. It is just one chapter of our life among many other chapters.

Work hard every day to think
about your life right now and not the life you once had. This is the way
everyone should live, dystonia or not. The past is over and as much as you may
miss your former self, you must let go and live in the present.

Focus on things just as they are;
not the way you think they should be. The changes that can come out of this
acceptance are incredible.

Take each day one at a time and fully embrace even the most seemingly minor accomplishments. Frankly, given our challenges, the things we do now are much greater accomplishments than before dystonia when everything was much easier. Honor yourself for this! With what many have to deal with, sometimes just getting out of bed is an accomplishment. Please acknowledge this!

Saying how much we hate dystonia
won’t make it go away. I promise! Instead, find a way to cohabitate with it because
no amount of anger will ever take it away. This has been one of the most important
things I have learned (still learning) to better manage all of the symptoms
that come with my dystonia, physical, mental, and otherwise. I had to learn to live
with it rather than fight with it. The more I do this, the less power it has over me. This might sound counterintuitive, but it might be the best way for us to find peace
and healing. Stop waging war on your dystonia. You will only get worse.

I had years of ruthless symptoms
where I could barely speak sometimes because of the breathtaking pain, to
starting a business, becoming a certified life coach, and writing a book. I
still deal with some pretty rough symptoms, but my mind is in a better place
where I am more at peace with how things are. This leads to greater acceptance
and a greater ability to be more productive.

I am not near as productive as I
once was and would like to be, but beating myself up over this is a complete
waste of time and energy. I would rather focus what energy I have on my
abilities, rather than all that is wrong with me. I invite you to do more of
the same. Accept what is rather than dwell in the past or on everything you can't do. Focus on your abilities. I know most of you do more than you give yourself credit. Please shift your mindset and celebrate yourself!

We all have periods when we feel
overmatched and not up to the challenges, but we always get through the day. If you
have a racing mind full of questions and concerns, please reach out to the many
forums, support groups in your area, and dystonia organizations to talk with others who can relate. Dystonia can be distressing and exhausting. Share what
you are thinking and feeling. Listen to what others are saying. You will find that you are far from alone.

You need not feel any shame. You
have done nothing wrong to be in this situation. Take control and do what is
best for you in order to better manage today, and just today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

It is not what happens to us in life that defines us. It is what we do with it that defines us.

Thanks for this post Tom. I think I'm definitely working on acceptance: 1 yr since symptoms started & 4 mths since CD diagnosis. My tendency is to try & find ways to make it go away. When I simply "give in" or accept, I feel awash in profound sadness. So then I go back to fix it mode. It's a real challenge, but I know acceptance is an important step in process. Thanks for all you do. Any advice is welcome, of course. Best to you!

About Me

Tom Seaman is author of the book, Diagnosis Dystonia: Navigating the Journey, and a Certified Professional Life/Health Coach. He earned a Bachelor’s degree in Education and Psychology, after which he pursued private business ventures in health education. While pursuing his Master’s degree in Counseling he developed a painful movement disorder called dystonia. After numerous ineffective treatments and years of physical and mental trauma, Tom learned and applied a combination of techniques that greatly improved his quality of life. Tom is now dedicated to helping others with dystonia and other chronic conditions live a higher quality of life.
www.tomseamancoaching.com