Monday, January 30, 2012

I am thrilled to host one of my writing buddies, Vicki Batman, here at Killer Fiction today! Vicki's a hoot - you'll love her. Read on to find out her theories about some strange and wonderful creatures - men.

MAN THEORY by Vicki Batman

I showed the cover to my new short story collection to my men and they died laughing. I knew the title was funny, but that funny? They asked, "What do you know about men?"

A lot more than they think.

I come from a family of four girls. So, yeah, I didn't really-really know men. But lots of water has passed under the bridge, and here's some things I have observed over the years:

- men talk short- snakes--what's the problem?- smell good after a shower- cars = speed- shopping is for food and guns, athletic stuff, computer- clean house???- wash clothes when out of clean underwear- meat, meat, meat- what's wrong with what I'm wearing?- love their pets- action movie vs. romance -- uh, no contest- socks are an accessory- sleeves are for nose wiping

My quick short story, Man Theory, is about a geek who espouses his theory about love. Here's a fun excerpt:

From Day One at our new jobs at Prime Designs, Ethan and I had forged a friendship. I was the artsy-heartsy, emotional gal. Him--the technical, by-the-book pal. We ate an occasional dinner, watched a movie, whatever. Traded small gifts like coffee, a magazine, music. However, Ethan had never made an overture toward me.

Translated: Nothing intimate.

I'd said to myself, "Rats."

For work, we'd traveled to Colorado Springs to attend a workshop on web design innovations. After check-in, I'd joined him at the bridge crossing the lake to decide about lunch before the meetings commenced.

My six-one geek wearing rimless glasses, leaned against the railing, and stared into the sparkling blue waters of the high mountain lake, and the feathered fowl paddling by.

Have his feelings changed? I asked in disbelief, "R-really? A theory...about love?"

What have you discovered about your man/men?

When you add to the list, your name will be added in a drawing for a free ebook (be sure to include your email).

Vicki Batman is kicking back with a diet Coke and torturing a new set of characters by playing "what if?" Find her at: http://vickibatman.blogspot.com OR at: http://plottingprincesses.blogspot.com

Man Theory and Other Stories will be available February 1 thru Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

I've discovered my husband would rather touch me than talk to me...he's a quiet sort of guy and would rather I sit on the couch and let him give me a back rub or foot rub instead of talking about his day.

I love the premise of the book--and like all the comments. My husband is my romantic hero. His idea of a great nite is watching football with me curled up next to him--without my computer or Kindle in front of my face. He cooks Sunday dinners, buys me flowers for no reason, and calls me just to chat.BUT he leaves shoes, dishes, socks, coats everywhere. Reading & movie choices include guns, racing cars, explosions and odd protagonists. He finds a million reason to interrupt me when I am writing--esp when the words are flowing.....

I have been married to my husband for almost 6 years now and a few things I've learned are that sports are going to be on 24-7 (unless of course I steal and hide the remote). Also dishes somehow never make it to the dishwasher. His reasoning is "I never had one growing up..." :)

Hi, Keri: washing clothes...shaking head here. One young man I dated did work out of town a lot. I swear, he bought undies and socks and visited the cleaners for everything else. So when I visited his apartment for the first time, you can imagine the mountain I saw. Okay, it was so bad, I have been visibly imprinted for a lifetime. lolol

Here's what I've discovered; took years. Men are not actually lazy. They don't not clean when there is a lady person around. What happens is they dust when they see dirt and do a good job. The lady person dusts so she doesn't see any dirt, which is the problem. :)

Hi Vicki,I loved reading your list and all the comments. If something breaks in our house, my hubby likes to take it apart and attempt to fix it before he'll consider buying a new one. Nine times out of ten he's successful.

- Allergic to turn signals.- Remotay is the secret girlfriend.- Fun to pay with.- Pick anything from the Sears catalog and they'd be mighty friendly with it.- Thank God for GPS.- Okay to arrange package in public.- The Secret Maintenance Trick is to be necessary.- Dust when they see dust.- Passing gas is a sporting event.- Derogatory nicknames are a sign of affection.- Go shopping???? Here's my card.- No manual required.

Thank you for participating. The winner of the highly coveted Man Theory and Other Stories is......Ms. Cara Marsi!!!

Congratulations, Cara.

And thank you so much, Killer Fiction and Diane, for having me here. I'd love to have any of you come visit with me and the PP girls at Plotting Princesses.

The Crime

The authors of this blog are hereby charged with writing Killer Fiction novels responsible for spontaneous outbursts of laughter in public places, uncontrollable swooning over larger-than-life heroes, and the deaths of countless fictional villains.

The Evidence

Our Accomplices

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