Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I always get into conversations with men and women alike
about struggles that they are having in their relationships. Of course I bring on the conversation myself
in order to gain an understanding of these things in order to offer up my
twisted, yet precise view of each situation.

One of my most recurring conversational treats is with
people who are “trying” to see someone who is unavailable. We've all fallen for that sad story at one
point or another! “I’m married but we are trying to break up but it’s
complicated because she/he has some emotional issues.” “My boyfriend really wants to be with me but
his girlfriend keeps playing on him every time he tries to leave.” “She says that she is working through some
things and isn't ready for a relationship right now.” “He says he was really hurt in the past so he
needs to spend time with me without any commitment and without anyone knowing.”
“But he’s my best friend! No one gets
him like I do!”

Hmm...well...I don’t know what to say...Wait! Yes I do!
In this world where many people are out there broken and trying to date
on the heels of divorce or breakup as a Band-Aid instead of healing from their
past first, we have GOT TO GET A GRIP! "Overlap dating" is a disaster for everyone involved. The truth is that someone who has someone
else in their life that he/she just “can’t leave”, is getting something out of
that relationship. If they wanted to
leave, they would. I know it doesn't
seem that easy in the moment, but it is. Ending a relationship is never easy
but no one is as “confused” as they say they are. If you’re confused and wondering if you’re
with the right person, you probably aren't with the right person! Period. Men and women’s brains function differently in
this regard however. Women tend to read
between the lines instead of taking actions into account, while men can
compartmentalize their actions. I truly
believe that if a man could cheat on his wife without ever ruining his
marriage, he would. If you've noticed,
most men in the “middle of a divorce” because they met someone else, had their
wife “accidentally” find out. (Usually
the accident has been a good friend of the extra girlfriend talking in the
bathroom a little too loudly while, “oops!
His wife’s best friend was in the stall!
OMG! How did that happen?”) I look at it like eating at a buffet. If you can eat both a slice of chocolate cake
that is rich and fulfilling, and a piece of strawberry shortcake that is light
and playful, you are going to. Your
decision is really only made for you if one of them make you throw up before
you eat the other one. If not? Win win!

I know...I do get ranting a bit...My point is that we need
to have a little more strength to let a person go until they are available to
have something worthwhile. One quality relationship is way more fulfilling than
a bunch of nothings that get us worked up on the telephone with our
girlfriends. I also worry that we need
to be better role models to the next generation of 20somethings. I watch as these poor girls think that being
beautiful and taking a guy from someone else is some sort of huge accomplishment. Unfortunately, being 20 and BEAUTIFUL isn't
an accomplishment. Being 35 and showing
these young girls by example that they are worth someone’s undivided attention
and showering of love from someone who deserves them IS.

About Me

I am one of those people who really enjoys life! I live every single day to the fullest and my jobs are fun all the time! People often say "Calia! Just have fun! Don't worry about anything!" Honestly...if I have any more fun, i'm likely to explode! I need a project. I'm a highly effective person and no matter how much time i spend doing huge projects and working out, i still have so much extra time in the day that people can't believe it! I guess that makes me lucky!- personally, I could use some drugery in my life so i'm more like other people!