Cows and Governments Open Thread

Well cows and politicians do have a lot a lot in common in that they are fond of bull, produce some noxious by products and tend to complain a lot when their sacred calves are taken away. The usual open thread rules apply: be concise, be charitable and, above all, be amusing.

Life under Obama. You have two cows. One is taken away because you are a one percenter. The other is taken away to pay for Obamacare. You are given a job with a green energy company that produces energy from cow droppings. It goes bankupt after receiving 750 million in subsidies. You spend the next four years initially getting unemployment and living in your Mom’s basement playing cow themed video games. Your Mom secretly wishes she could trade you for two cows.

All I could think of when I saw the picture of milk and the title about bovines is how much suckling at the teat of the public treasury is going on. At the risk of being offensive, I am not certain we will get all that much milk from bulls since cows are being avoided in our environment of sexual political correctness. Now that my mind has descended beneath the level of curb side, Confession is in order.

You have 2,000 cows. You hire lobbyists to prevent anyone from ever owning just two cows (or a cow and a bull) because complying with regulations would be too expensive to comply with health, safety, &c, &c, &c regulations. To top it off ask for price subsidies.
Then bemoan the death of the family farm.

You have two cows. You bemoan the oppression of the cows at the hands of the bulls. Calves also oppress the cows by drinking the milk. No cow should have a calf because that is oppressive. The cows should be put on birth control at the taxpayer’s expense. Planned Calfinghood will take care of any calves that dare to be conceived. The two cows should be allowed to marry, because any relationship with a bull constitutes rape. The more butch of the two cows sues to be allowed to fight in a bull ring in Spain. It dies. The surviving cow becomes a professor of wymyn’s studies. It is indistinguishable in appearance from the human professors of wymyn’s studies.

Feudalism:
Some milk taken by the Lord.
Pure Socialism:
Your cows put with others, you take care of all, gov. gives you milk you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism:
Your cows with others cared for by chicken farmers, you care for chickens, gov. gives milk and eggs specified in regulations.
Facism:
Gov. takes cows, pays you to care for them, sells you the milk.
Pure Communism:
Neighbors help you care for your cows, and you share milk.
Russian Communism:
You care for them, gov. gets the milk.
Cambodian Communism:
Gov. takes cows and shoots you.
Dictatorship:
Gov. takes cows and drafts you.
Pure Democracy:
You have cows, neighbors decide who gets milk.
Representative Democracy:
You have cows, neighbors choose someone to tell you who gets milk.
Libertarian Anarcho-Capitalism:
You have two cows, sell one, and buy a bull.
Bureaucracy:
Gov. what to feed them, when to milk, pays you not to milk, then take the cows, shoot one, milks the other, throws out milk, you fill out forms re: missing cow,
Pure Anarchy:
You have cows, milk them, and either sell at fair price or neighbors take them and kill you.
Surrealism:
You have giraffes and take gov. required harmonica lessons.

When there are no more cows left, will there be giraffes and who will care?
Seems the best interest of the cows and family lies in the first choice.
No wonder that Jesus added the Great Commandment to His Father’s Ten. If we can get to the point of having no other gods before God, then we can love our neighbor as ourselves. And the cows will be OK.

Well … found this at Instapundit.
It deals with governmental things and mentions milk in the last sentence.

” , November 17, 2012
In 37 Chicago Precincts, Romney Received No Votes

NBC Chicago reports:
The Philadelphia Inquirer reports that in 59 Philadelphia precincts, Mitt Romney did not receive a single vote. So Ward Room decided to look at the results in the president’s hometown, and see if he won as many shutouts here. The answer: no. Romney was rejected by every voter in only 37 Chicago precincts, an embarrassing result, given that segregation and Machine politics are two of our city’s most notable qualities.
Any doubt there was some vote fraud? Check out this comment on NBC Chicago’s website:
In critical swing states like Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Illinois there are a lot of precincts in Philadelphia, Cleveland, and Chicago which reported 100% of their votes cast for Obama. These add up to many 10’s of thousands of votes for Obama and 0 for Romney. I repeat, 0 for Romney. I have read a number of articles about this and people knowlegable in Political Science and Statistics are starting to take notice of this.Statistically, even if among 10’s of thousands of voters all wanted to vote for Obama, it would not be possible to receive 100% of the vote because at least a few would make a mistake and vote incorrectly for Romney. Not to mention the fact that a least a few of those 10’s of thousands might actually disagree with Obama. These types of election returns are only seen in countries run by dictators.
Just a reminder to those who want to get rid of the electoral college: corrupt Chicago voting practices could and would determine an election. Vote fraud occurs in Chicago because the U.S. Attorney doesn’t want to conduct a simple investigation of those 37 precincts. Is there similar hand writing on any of those ballots ? Did any dead people vote ? Since Chicago lost 6.9% of its population in the 2010 Census : were any of those 37 precincts in the declining population wards? Maybe, if Chicago had a legitimate U.S. Attorney some of these questions would be answered. No word on this story from “alleged” former crime fighter and Obama “protector” Patrick Fitzgerald. Is Barack Obama and the U.S. Attorney’s Office afraid of this milk story???
Posted by Steve Bartin “

So PM are you saying that instead of talking about cows, we should have been discussing whether to count chickens before the eggs are even laid?

Chicago Precinct Hen House:

You have two American Leghorn chickens whom you expect to lay one egg each. You don’t want a leghorn victory, so you stuff a cork in each chicken’s cloaca, go to the store, and buy five dozen Rhode Island Red chicken eggs and distribute them between the two nests to ensure the desired outcome. If anyone questions this, you call them a racist for questioning a clear mandate for Rhode Island Reds. The local chicken breeder’s newsletter is silent on this event.

A.S.,
The cows were fine and all, it’s just that I thought the many chickens involved in the farm were worth a place in the open thread. Maybe ID’s for eggs would pre-empt use of unreliable electronic methods.

By the way of natural chickens, there’s a great population of RI R’s near here – they were free ranging during a Country Fair this past October, where they were the biggest hit for children when their tenders set up hourly chicken races by using feed for incentive. Plain fun and laughter.