Monday, September 15, 2008

hipsters

honestly i think that hipsters may be the most annoying group of people out there... although i throughly enjoy laughing at them, and find them extremely entertaining. I stumbled upon this "How to" guide for hipsters- even though i believe it is meant to be extremely sarcastic, and as a joke... i think some kids may take it seriously. I find it beyond funny.

*******************How to Be a Hipster

Hipsters are usually people in their teens to mid twenties that live a lifestyle that is against the mainstream culture. Ranging from clothes, to music, to coffee shops, to home decor, to even vocabulary. The tendency is to be steeped in "indie" culture and to dress in a "bohemian" style.

[] StepsBefore you do anything you should note that knowledge of good music is crucial to becoming a true hipster. If you are into any mainstream music at the current time (ex:Nickelback, Good Charlotte, Rihanna, Ashlee Simpson, Lil John, etc) throw them away. Don't even donate them. Now that you have erased all mainstream music from your life, you can go on to independent music which is what all real hipsters listen to. The artists and groups are endless. Hipster artists of note include Sufjan Stevens, Bright Eyes, Arcade Fire, to British groups such as Arctic Monkeys and Dirty Pretty Things. Websites such as weirdears.com, indiekids.org, and even the music section of myspace can help you with this. Meeting people who are already into these bands will help you as well. Perhaps the most popular hipster website is pitchforkmedia.com. If they give an album a good rating, it must be quite hip. Namedrop often. Talk about all the obscure bands you like that nobody you know has heard of. When your friends talk about a band you're unfamiliar with, just say you've heard of them but not actually heard them. It'll give you more cred. Insult a lot of bands. If you love everything you'll seem like a fanboy. Make sure to give off a vibe that you are too cool and elite for a lot of bands. Remember to use perhaps the most important hipster line: "I liked them before they were cool." Fashion is almost as important as your music taste is. Now generally people perceive many hipster to shop in thrift stores in attempt to looking vintage or poor. This is really not the case to being a true hipster. The classic "Skinny Jean" is essential to looking hip. Guy hipsters actually probably wear them more than the girls. Basically, the tighter, the better. Now tops aren't as big of an ordeal as pants are. Ironic tees, plaid shirts, sweatervests, blazers, fit hoodies, are all part of the hipster phenomena. But make sure your pants are tight. They can be any color. Actually, the bolder the better. (ex:purple, pink, yellow, etc). Food. All you really need to know about this is that eating meat isn't exactly popular with the hipster culture. Fruit, coffee, oriental food, etc are all "hip" foods, if you will. Many hipsters tend to be vegetarian or vegan. It takes a brave hipster to start dancing. In fact, if you want to spot a hipster, just turn around the next time you are at a show and see them standing in the back discussing Stella or PBR in a can. Sometimes, if the music and setting is right, you will witness Hipsters engaging in dance movements. Hipster dancing, if done right, does not use so much of the hips as it does the upper body and arms. Lots of swinging and swinging head back and forth. Remember to only do this if you are not humiliated easy. Although you will rarely see hipsters dancing at shows, they tend to enjoy separate dance parties where they can dance to an array of more upbeat hipster dance music. Mustaches. Guy hipsters are sporting these as of late! The bigger the better and if you can curl the ends into the handlebar mustache you are even better...a true hipster doesn't expose their upper lip.

[] TipsDon't watch MTV. M = mainstream. Converse are universal. They look great and you can wear them pretty much anywhere. Rather than going to Starbucks for coffee, go to a local shop. Go to shows. The more...the better. Do your own hair. Don't drive an expensive car. Don't even own a car at all. It is a waste of gas and money.

[] WarningsThe goal of being a hipster is to look like you're not trying, however, if you are one, you are probably trying really hard. People may not believe you when you say you liked a musician before he/she was popular. Ex. I have told my friends time and time again I knew Gym Class Heroes before MTV, and they believe it's too "rappy" for my taste.