December 19, 2007

From today's Metro: A pikey waster chav scumbag you don't know is hauled before the court and is sentenced to a curfew. He chooses your home address as his bail address. The court makes him move in to your home. There's fuck all you can do about it.You'd really, really need a heart of stone not to laugh.Icing on the cake? The tag line on the ad immediately below.Which gives me an opportunity to recycle my favourite chav joke:Q: What does a chav and a Slinky have in common?A: It's always fun watching them both fall down the stairs.

December 18, 2007

Thanks to AME Marketing and Stan at Brand DNA for highlighting the widget I've now added to the right hand side of the screen. Mind you, you could interpret the genius rating as "you'd need to be a genius to understand this shit". In fact, I am worried that this is exactly was this is: some kind of subversive reverse-rating.Genius? I almost got fired at an agency quiz night when the question was "Name the book where the characters escape through a wardrobe", and your chimpmeister shouted out "Anne Frank".

December 14, 2007

I was going to rant about this, but the more I watch it, the more I realise it's just totally superb. I may have to create a new label to cover it. This masterpiece is built around a random, pointlessly inappropriate impersonation that has zero relevance to the brand.

December 13, 2007

Wars, murder and dead princesses can't keep the British media away from what they see as the biggest story of the week, even though false modesty prevents them from spelling it out plainly: are those really David Beckham's bollocks?(I can only add one tiny insight into this intriguing tale: a witness - whom I cannot identify, because the wife will kill me - testifies that they really are that big.)The hoohaa does confirm that sticking Becks in an ad still causes a buzz, although I am disappointed that he chose Armani. I believe David Beckham would be put to better use advertising Ferrero Rocher, because they come in a posh box.

I just don't get Sarah Jessica Parker. Last time I criticised her on the company intranet I had poo flung at me by hordes of angry women of a certain age, who regard her as something of a symbol of feminine empowerment.She was the worst thing about Sex & The City and now I have to endure her bloody awful fragrance ad in the pre-Xmas run up.b3ta regular weebl has taken on this post-feminist icon. He's a brave boy.

December 09, 2007

"Hngggggggggk..." jerk... crack!That's me dozing off on the train, having one of those short but deep, dream-filled commuter naps. I've almost slumped to one side, a tiny dribble worming its way down my chin when I'm certain, for a split second, that I'm about to fall off my rock.My head jerks upright, I awake, and of the half-dozen passengers around me, I suspect only one has noticed my Fat Old Git Dozing Off On The Train act, and she has the good manners to hide behind her Evening Standard. The pages are trembling slightly. She's bloody laughing, I know it.I'd been flicking through GQ when sleep crept up on me. The dream was of faceless, naked women chasing me over the landscape from the opening scenes of 2001, their toilet bits replaced by gaping Scream-like mouths. Death was going to be a leathery, but well-polished affair, and I had to escape.Who said advertising doesn't work?

December 05, 2007

OK, OK, I know the existence of the demon barber is disputed, but the London Dungeon said he fell off his perch at the beginning of the 19th century, and that source is good enough for me.What next? Nazi code machines captured by US sailors? God forbid.

Sweeney story spotted in one of the daily papers, but I forget which one. Come on, I've got more important things to do, you know.

December 03, 2007

"The hedgehog relies for defence on its protective spines, rolling itself into a ball in a similar fashion to a pangolin or armadillo when threatened. This tactic, while effective against many predators, is of little use against motor vehicles."