Stewart: One More Time

November 20, 1989|By Richard Phillips.

That nice young man from Bedford Falls wants one more shot at the big screen, but only if he gets a kinder and gentler offer. ``I keep turning down scripts because they`re for grouchy grandfathers,`` complained James Stewart, 81, whose wholesomeness in film has been a virtual trademark since the `30s. Absent from a Hollywood production since ``The Green Horizon`` in 1981, Stewart indicated he isn`t opposed to playing a grandfather. It`s just that

``they don`t have to be grouchy.``

AMERICA`S OLDEST TURNS 115 Carrie White, the oldest American on record-and the first to reach 115 years of age-celebrated her birthday with well-wishers in Florida over the weekend. ``We had cake, and we sang,`` said legal guardian Marjorie Allen, noting that a bigger celebration is planned for Monday at Putnam Nursing Home in Palatka. White, born Carrie Joyner on Nov. 18, 1874-two years before Custer`s last stand-has been institutionalized most of her life. She was admitted to a mental hospital by her husband in 1909 suffering from ``post-typhoid psychosis,`` a diagnosis no longer recognized. Records say she feared harm to her nonexistent twins but also that she had been exposing her arms-a no-no for ladies in that modest era. A Putnam resident since 1984, she sleeps 16 hours a day, takes no medicine, chews tobacco and seems immune to colds and flu.

DOG FILM TAKES A BOW (WOW) It must be a dog`s life for guilt-ridden yuppies who leave pets at home alone while they pursue corporate careers. Enter dogged entrepreneur Harley Toberman of Minneapolis with ``Doggie Adventure,`` a video designed to keep Fido happy in solitary confinement. Programmed to be turned on in the owner`s absence, ``Doggie Adventure`` is filmed from a pooch`s perspective-with a romp through city streets, parks and, finally, a friendly barnyard. The 25-minute VCR tape has been given a four-paws rating by neighborhood mutts, said director Toberman (as in Doberman). They ``walk right up to the TV and put their nose right up to the tube and just stare at it.`` Toberman, 44, is selling the $14.95 ``Doggie Adventure`` tape via mail-order now, but he hopes to introduce it in stores by Christmas. Meanwhile, he`s working on a longer sequel. (Sorry, cat lovers, a film for felines is not in the works. Toberman says cat attention-spans are too brief.)

MT. VESUVIUS TURNS RUSTY Environmentalists in Italy are down in the dumps over Mt. Vesuvius, which they fear has become a Mt. Trashmore. Their fears were heightened after scientist Ines Albergamo descended into the sometimes-dormant volcano and found garbage galore, including soft-drink cans, discarded tires, even a rusting Fiat. Said Albergamo: ``People throw things just to hear the noise. They risk transforming the volcano into an enormous rubbish heap. . . .``

IT`S ALL IN A NAME Remember Eugene McCarthy? Well, don`t feel bad. Reduced to historical footnotes since the `68 presidential landslide, loser McCarthy now has fallen upon a fate worse than obscurity. By way of example, he cites a recent encounter at a New York intersection: An oncoming pedestrian, expressing fuzzy recognition, asked McCarthy if he is in politics. ``I said I was Sen. McCarthy,`` said the liberal from Minnesota, trying to be helpful. The stranger suddenly brightened, then said: ``But you`re not as much against communism as you used to be.`` (The other Sen. McCarthy, late and unlamented, would have clobbered such a patriot with a red herring.)

AN ECONOMY OF SCALE Jay Leno is no economist, but he can see which way the wind is blowing:

Far East. Said Leno, ``Our trade deficit with Japan keeps rising. How can this be happening? They`re selling us cars . . . and we`re selling them entire cities.``