MAY 2017

A special thought for Mother’s Day: Erma Bombeck’s “Tribute to Her Mom”.
“When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of overtime when the angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” And the Lord said, “have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up; a kiss that cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; and six pairs of hands.”
The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands….no way!”. “It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.” “That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows; another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course, the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and says ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word….
“I can’t quit now…..Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger, and get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.” The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed. “but tough”, said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure.” “Can it think?” “Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromised and dream”, said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the check. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you were trying to put too much into this model.
“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.” What’s it for?” It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride.” “You’re a genius,” said the angel.
The Lord looked somber, “I didn’t put it there.”