Rex Ryan

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Scarlett Johansson To Marry in August

By:
WENN.com
Jul 21, 2014

Splash News
Scarlett Johansson is to marry her French fiance in August (14), according to a U.S. report.
The Avengers star, who now lives in Paris, France, is expecting a baby with her partner Romain Dauriac and they will tie the knot in just four weeks' time, reports the New York Post's gossip column Page Six.
No further details have been revealed, but the publication's editors suggest the ceremony will take place in either Johansson's native New York or the French capital. Johansson became engaged to the journalist in September (13).
She was previously married to actor Ryan Reynolds.

How does one calculate the success of a director? Though not mutually exclusive, critical acclaim and box office returns are usually the measuring sticks when it comes to Hollywood filmmaking.
One film director who has become known for financial triumphs, but who has become a bit of a pariah with critics, is Michael Bay. His movies typify giant Hollywood blockbusters, but in terms of artistry and substance, he’s been found more-than-slightly lacking in a myriad of reviews over the years.
We are well aware of how most critics feel about Bay, whose latest Pain &amp; Gain arrives in theaters this week, as a filmmaker. But where does he stand with the theater-going public? His movies continue to make serious coin, so obviously he still has an audience, but we decided to poll both fans and detractors alike to better understand where Bay’s reputation stands.
There were those who were rather effusive with their love for Bay. “Michael is a genius,” says Chris Todd of Austin, Texas. “He has a understanding of visuals that few directors do, I really believe he's top tier on that regard.” Todd acknowledges that the location in which Bay’s films are seen makes a tremendous difference. “What makes him great is that he's one of the few guys left today who makes films for the big screen. He has no interest in the home experience really. It's all about the theater. And that's why his work loses a lot of power once it's viewed at home.”
His visual prowess also proved a major draw for fan Jenni Lee. “I love his panorama shots,” she says, “hands down the bomb scene from Pearl Harbor is one of the most gut wrenching scenes in history, not only because you know what happens when it hits, but because if the way it was shot. He also knows how to film explosions in an epic way.” Lee went on to note that his visuals prove to be the ultimate mitigating factor when considering his faults. “At the end of the day I will always go to a theater to see his movies and at least give it a shot because at a minimum I know I will at least get to see something that is visually stunning.”
However, even those who counted themselves Bay fans could not deny his shortcomings. Biostatistician Ryan Machtmes suggests that maximizing enjoyment of Bay’s work means clearly defining one’s expectations. “Truthfully, I watch his movies because they're just that: [movies],” he says. “No, I don't go to his movies expecting art, but sometimes a movie is just a movie, an escape into the fantastic and a way to just watch something and be entertained by it for purposes of relaxation and unplugging my otherwise always-on brain.”
Still others maintain that Bay’s appeal is a function of his time. “He came to power as the resurgence of the indie film crowd began to wane,” says fan Craig Dougherty. “After the minimalist early 90's that birthed [Steven] Soderbergh, [Kevin] Smith, [Richard] Linklater, and [Quentin] Tarantino, I think the general audience was itching to return to the big budget action genre.” Dougherty further argues that Bay doesn’t ever aim “to neglect emotion or substance, he [just] chooses to focus on delivering that message through high octane action rather than story and character development. He's the purest definition of a movie director currently working in Hollywood, and I can respect that moniker.”
But again, Bay has cultivated a legion of hecklers over the years who are just as vocal, if not moreso. “Michael Bay is the most frustrating filmmaker,” asserts Anthony Donovan Stokes, “because he has an endless amount of resources, and completely squanders them on aesthetics instead of actually storytelling.” Mikus Duncis adds, “he has a lot of untapped potential and indulges himself way too much.” Duncis also echoed oft-heard criticisms of both the length and poor comedy of Bay’s films. “His films are way too long and have an absurdly large amount of unfunny, offensive supporting characters and the story is always somehow muddled. If he could learn how to make a straight up 90-minute action films with a bare-bones minimal plot and no comic relief, I think he would be known for making great, fun and fast paced action.”
Some have argued that Bay’s offenses run even deeper, and that he is in fact a detriment to film. “I think Michael Bay's biggest crime as a filmmaker is that he perpetuates cynicism in numerous aspects of the movie-going experience,” contends Patrick Girts, “his films are very well made products, but they rarely respect the audiences watching them.” Most damning of all, Girts points out, is that “despite that lack of respect, [Bay’s movies] make money hand over fist. More studios are adopting this model, and quality storytelling pays the price.”
Surprisingly, no matter the side of the fence polled people happened to fall, many of them had ready-made associations locked and loaded.
“The man is like your cheesy bachelor uncle. He's loud, curses and drinks a lot, always has some new skeeze he calls a girlfriend with him, and is definitely not someone you want to hang out with long term, but he brings over all the cool fireworks on the 4th of July and let you have some of his beer one time so he's alright,” says Tony Rex Bowler, Houston.
“Michael Bay is like a student of the culinary arts,” says Jose Antonio Rivera of New York City. “He knows the ingredients, he knows the recipe, but when it comes to actually making the food, he pulls it out before it's fully cooked. He sprinkles his films with a dash of style to cover up the fact that it's undercooked and then proceeds to tell you how ‘good’ it is.”
Jordan Worth Cobb of Conway, Arkansas calls Bay “a painter,” but backhands him by suggesting that he “goes for what's easy and doesn't try.” Anthony Donovan Stokes, Manassas, Virginia is even less kind. “[Bay] is a ten-year-old boy in a fifty-year-old man’s body. A really dumb, impatient, perverted, hyperbolic, defensive 10 year old.”
Inversely, Ryan Timothy of Brace, Montreal compares Bay to his contemporaries and gives the Armageddondirector the advantage. “I know Zack Snyder has the image of a teenager with a camera, but Bay was, still and will probably always be that guy for me,’ Timothy says.
But for every fan, there’s a naysayer. “He seems to be a living example of what would happen if you gave a frat dude a very technical understanding of film and millions of dollars and told him to make a movie,” says Stephan Krosecz of Cypress, Texas. “The only difference is you'd find a lot more kegs of crappy beer, Gatorade, and Mountain Dew on set.”
It seems the relationship between Michael Bay and movie consumers is no less complicated now than it was when he first appeared on the scene in the mid-90s. Bay fan T.C. De Witt may have summed it up best when he said, “aficionados of film consider him a hack and a disease to the art of filmmaking, but he doesn't make art movies; he doesn't make intelligent movies. He makes the movies he loves with the stuff he loves. That passion, even if it's shallow to most, should be admired.” Further putting things in perspective, Angela Behm reminds us that “for all the hate [Bay] may garner, at least he's not Uwe Boll.”
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If you listen very closely, you might just hear the words "Hey, girl" whispering in the wind. No, you're not losing it, there's just something magical happening with Cameron Crowe's upcoming rom-com.
Rachel McAdams is the latest name attached to the film, according to the Hollywood Reporter (request for confirmation from McAdams' reps could not be obtained at the time of publication), where she'll join Emma Stone and Bradley Cooper. Suddenly, it's like the Spirit of Ryan Gosling has become infused with this film.
For those who aren't obssessed with the history of Gosling, he not only made movie history with McAdams thanks to a rain-drenched makeout (and subsequent steamy sex scene) in The Notebook, he romanced the gorgeous gal in real life and even recreated the famous kiss on stage at the MTV Movie Awards. Stone and Gosling have become on on-screen duo so adorable we almost wish they would just leave Andrew Garfield and Eva Mendes in the dust and date each other, but I'm fairly certain the levels of cuteness would reach unhealthily high levels. And then there's Cooper, who recently faced off against Gosling in The Place Beyond the Pines — a move that challenged our notions of just how much handsome one movie could hold.
When we combine this trio in a rom-com that finds Stone's Air Force pilot falling for Cooper's defense contractor while McAdams' plays the presumably jealous ex-girlfriend, how can we not fill in the space between these actors with a little Gosling? (We are consistently looking for reasons to evoke his name and image. Or is that just me?) Of course, this essence of the Baby Goose might distract from the other connection this movie is forcing us to make: its Hawaii setting, "mystical island forces," and computer with a mind of its own are practically begging us to scream "Lost!" Can we even handle this much pop culture in one place?
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
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As it turns out, the massive winter storm that blanketed the Northeast with multiple feet of snow didn't keep audiences from heading to the theaters to check out the Jason Bateman/Melissa McCarthy comedy Identity Thief. The new release managed to top the box office in its first weekend, earning a gigantic $36.6 million. Wonder how critic Rex Ryan feels about that tractor-sized haul.
The weekend's other wide release, Steven Soderbergh's Side Effects, pulled in a respectable $10.015 million, which wasn't enough to finish immediately behind Identity Thief (last week's winner Warm Bodies has that honor, with this weekend's $11.5 million bringing its current tally to $36.6 million), but was enough to finish third in this week's box office totals.
RELATED: 'Warm Bodies' Scores Touchdown in Super Bowl Weekend Box Office
Want to know what else got people out of the snow and into the theater? Check out the top 5 films of the weekend:
1. Identity Thief: $36.6 million
2. Warm Bodies: $11.5 million
3. Side Effects: $10.0 million
4. Silver Linings Playbook: $6.9 million
5. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters: $5.75 million
[Photo Credit: Universal Pictures]
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He's got a new album on the way, a new wifey, and a (re)new(ed) popularity, and today, Justin Timberlake is 32 years old. While we'd love to know what he wished for while blowing out his birthday candles, we've got a few Timberlake-facing wishes of our own. We're allowed to tell if it's not our birthday, right?
1. Another single off of The 20/20 Experience. We can’t wait until March 19, JT.
2. More tiny hats, please.
3. A comedic appearance, planned or impromptu, on SNL this season. That show needs a little help this season.
4. Okay, sing a song on SNL, why dontcha.
5. Some shirtlessness wouldn’t kill you.
6. How else are you going to get the Sexiest Man Alive title next year? (Yes, that wish came in the form of a question and yes, it still counts.)
7. Stay weird, my friend.
8. Really, really weird.
Source
9. We all think Jessica Biel is swell, but keep on keeping to yourselves, it helps us live in a delusional bubble where you’re single and we have a chance.
10. Stop making bland sci-fi movies about running and being hot. (Sorry, we really didn’t enjoy In Time.)
11. Don’t even think about going back to your ramen hair look.
12. But never forget.
13. And let things like this keep you humble:
Source
12. Keep wearing these glasses. Or we'll cry. We mean it.
Source
14. Be a gentleman. Janet Jackson can’t be the only one with wardrobe malfunction notoriety, why don't you level the field next time you perform? (It’s not weird, we’re doing this for Janet, okay?)
15. If this laugh could make it into your next video, that would be fabulous.
16. When you perform at the Grammys, make sure you bring Jay-Z with you. The sheer joy of all that will give us happy little fits of giddiness.
17. While you're at it, do a song with Beyonce. She owes you one for that "Single Ladies" video anyway.
18. Facial hair &gt; No facial hair
19. Try not to star in any Nicholas Sparks movies. Not everyone gets to be Ryan Gosling.
20. But do star in anything that lets you show off this view:
Source
21. Well never not enjoy seeing you behind a piano, so you know, more of that would be great.
22. The smolder is cute, but stick to the smile. It's disarming. Like, dangerously so.
23. Keep keeping it real on Twitter. We couldn't get Super Bowl tickets either.
24. Do a podcast. Please. We're dying to know what you think of this week's Girls episode.
25. More of this:
Source
26. Can you get *NSYNC back together for like, 15 minutes? You're letting the Spice Girls, Destiny's Child, The Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, and even New Kids on the Block beat you to the reunion punch. Get it together.
27. Keep the hair as it is. The shaved head thing was cute, but this new 'do is dapper.
28. Bowties. More please.
29. Can I have a hug?
30. Or if it's easier, you could work my name into "Señorita."
31. Keep dancing like this. Never stop. Ever.
Source
32. No really. I was serious. Where's my hug?
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: MediaPunch Inc/Rex USA]
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Welcome back to the elaborate hedge maze formerly known as Revenge. It’s a hedge maze increasingly thorny and from which the story of our nighttime soap seems less and less likely to emerge without a few scrapes.
“Collusion” began with Emily seeing Aiden on the beach. Her old boyfriend has been a bit lost ever since finding out from the Initiative’s Helen Crowley that his sister, Colleen, is still alive. And he’s been even more lost ever after seeing Emily kiss Daniel. Wasn’t Aiden the one who was supposed to prevent her from getting emotionally compromised? Physician, heal thyself! She tells him that Daniel has invited her to lunch at a new oyster bar. “Oysters,” says Aiden. “Subtle.” Daniel just happened to forget to mention to Emily that said oyster bar is located in Los Angeles, because he wants to invite her to accompany him as he bids to acquire the disaster-relief organization Stonehaven United.
Helen Crowley, however, thinks that Aiden is working with Victoria to undermine Daniel’s stewardship of Grayson Global. He tells her he’s working alone. So she shows him new video of Colleen on her phone. What does he have to do to get his sister back? “Kill Victoria Grayson,” Helen says. “You have 24 hours.”
If Daniel were to acquire Stonehaven, his cache among the Grayson Global investors would raise significantly. So that’s why Victoria flies out to Los Angeles herself…to help Daniel’s arch-rival Jason Prosser win the bid. If Daniel were forced out of the company, the Initiative would lose interest in him, and he’d be safe. Conrad signs off on this idea. But the would-be politician does introduce his wife to his new communications director before she leaves: Ashley. This prompts one of the more Dynasty-worthy exchanges Revenge has given us in awhile. Victoria says to Ashley, “Well, it seems that the cat has dragged itself back in. Don’t you know that politicians tend to keep their concubines in the closet?” To which Ashley responds, “Spoken like a woman that no one is sleeping with.”
Victoria knows that Jason Prosser has a thing for her. Not only is he one of Conrad and Daniel’s biggest rivals in business, he wants to steal away their wife and mother as well. She knows that she might be able to get him to bid on Stonehaven just to impress her.
Unfortunately, her swift departure meant leaving Charlotte in the lurch for her 18th birthday. No trip to the ballet this year! Poor Charlotte. She's abandoned on her birthday, her boyfriend works at a bar that’s become a mob front, her boyfriend’s brother is fighting drug charges, and her sister Amanda is caught in the middle of it. Funny. Don’t you think either of them should have mentioned by now how odd it is that both the Clarke sisters should be drawn to the Porter brothers?
NEXT: Daniel invites Emily to feast on oysters with him. But in the least sexual way possible.Since Conrad got Jack released from prison last week, Fauxmanda decides to open up to him about what’s really going on. She reveals that the real killer of the Ryan brothers’ father is Matt Duncan, not Daddy Porter. She then gives Charlotte a handprint of her baby, Carl, for her “sister’s” birthday. Charlotte’s all down on her family once again, so Amanda cheers her up by saying she’s more a Clarke than a Grayson really. Because being the daughter of a notorious terrorist is better than being a part of the familial looney-bin that is the Graysons.
Daniel reveals that his idea of lunch is in fact a six-hour flight to Los Angeles! All the better for Emily to help him acquire Stonehaven. She agrees, but no sooner does she check in to her LA hotel, who should call from the lobby but Aiden. He’s now seriously gunning for Victoria after he got that directive from Helen Crowley, and basically that means he and Emily are working at cross purposes. So Emily tells Aiden to get to Prosser and dissuade him from pursuing Stonehaven. Of course, if he just kills Victoria, that would probably solve that little problem too. But, he does as his girlfriend asks and tells Prosser that a friend of his at the Department of Justice said Donna Carlyle, the daughter of Stonehaven’s founder, was looking to unload the company in advance of a lawsuit. A lawsuit that the lucky winner of the bid would then inherit. But will his fear of litigation overcome his horniness? No! Victoria shows up at Prosser’s hotel room and says that the people who went after David Clarke are after her son, all but begging him to bid on Stonehaven. To quote Rock Hudson’s Rex in Pillow Talk: “Ma’am, that is a direct question. It deserves a direct answer.” And Prosser’s direct answer to her request? “All I want is you.” Little did either of them know, that right at that moment, Aiden had Victoria in his sniper-rifle sights, ready to pull the trigger. Except he hesitated, Prosser pulled the curtains, because Victoria’s reply to Prosser? “Do what I ask, and I’m yours.” Prosser’s back in the game and the saddle, yo!
Of course, Daniel isn’t going to give up his own bid without a fight. So he gets Nolan to dig up a little dirt on Prosser. Emily tells him to do it, and she’ll buy him a house for his efforts. (Yeah—Boring Subplot Alert!—Nolan’s trying to find a new 50,000 sq. ft. Hamptons home. Getting assaulted and tied up by white-haired assassins can really make you want to leave your current digs.) So he agreed. Meanwhile, Padma’s been looking for the carrion program in NolCorp. She came up with an excuse for being in his office—that she was going to hide a new set of “Avatar” keys (because he’s a geek!) for his house and see if he could find them—to search for the program. But, remember, she’s dealing with Whale-Cam Guy, who knows all about making excuses for covert surveillance.
So Nolan’s talking to Padma and just happens to mention that Marko, who told him Padma was bad news, wanted him to use an old computer program. Padma’s like, “Oh yeah! Carrion!” Now, mind you, Nolan had never mentioned it by name. You’d think an undercover agent working for a terrorist organization as powerful as the Initiative wouldn’t be so stupid, right? Wrong! Nolan reveals Padma’s villainy to Emily and says, “Carrion has the ability to knock Manhattan off the power grid in less than a millisecond.” So…what? It’s the GoldenEye device? He developed it for Gen. Ouromov, the corrupt head of Russia’s space program, in the early ‘90s? What would be the point of developing such a code? I just really hope that Nolan will shortly make a grand, Bond-villainesque statement that his plan in his youth was to bring about “economic chaos in the West.” Of course, Nolan only keeps the final sequence of Carrion in his head, so the Initiative won’t be getting it anytime soon. “Play her like she’s playing you,” Emily says, referring to Padma.
NEXT: Charlotte finally gets her birthday party. It’s pretty bad. But at least Tyler isn’t there brandishing a gun. Oh, and Aiden gets some really bad news about Colleen.Oh yeah, there’s the whole Montauk mob scene subplot that I know you don’t really care about. Jack tells Matt Duncan that Joe Ryan’s murder is going to be pinned on him, implying that Matt should do the right thing, come forward and take responsibility for his crime with the Ryan brothers. Maybe then they’d finally go away, the Porter boys could be rid of them, and, more importantly, we could be rid of this lousy storyline. So Duncan does the right thing, and Conrad shows up at the Stowaway. In addition to his drink order — “I want your oldest Scotch. Neat.” — he brought Matt Duncan’s signed confession to the Ryans and offered Ken $50,000 for their swift departure. Ken takes the offer. Only problem is, that means the Porters are now business partners with Conrad Grayson! And. Nate Ryan didn’t exactly want to go along with his brother Ken and sell his share. Nate wants to buy Ken’s share back from Conrad, and says to the would-be politician that he could have roulette wheels spinning in months. We all know how communities love the revenue-raising power of roulette wheels. Call this “Montauk: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling.”
Anyway, Nolan digs up the dirt on Prosser for Daniel, and, oh, it turns out Prosser colluded to inflate gas and oil prices after 9/11. Naughty boy! So Donna Carlyle was definitely not going to accept his bid. She would be going with Daniel instead. The Grayson scion knew there was only one way to celebrate: a trip to the Azores to renew his romance with Emily. They may be friends, but they’re not resuming their romance just yet, Emily says. Daniel tries to put on this whole thing like “I was using you as much as you were using me,” but it was all just macho bulls**t.
In his spare time, however, Nolan’s been tracking Emily’s other boyfriend, and saw on Aiden’s phone a video of Colleen being forced to shoot up. That makes Emily realize he’s been tasked to kill Victoria. A life for a life and all that jazz. Aiden has Victoria in his crosshairs a second time, except this time Emily appears and asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?” She wants him to find his sister on their own terms, not the Initiative’s, and hey, they should be happy that Daniel landed Stonehaven. Aiden relents. Nolan also decided to take Emily’s advice and play Padma. He invites her in his office to look for his platinum card—the perfect opportunity for her to steal the Carrion Code! But when she sticks it into her iPad, it displays “Welcome to Carrion!” Now she knows that Nolan’s onto her. But how dangerous will she be?
So everyone gets back to Home Sweet Hamptons for Charlotte’s belated birthday party. “We’re celebrating you, sweetheart, not the Gregorian calendar,” Conrad snarked. Fair enough. Also fair then? Charlotte’s changing her name to Charlotte Clarke. Jaws are slacked.
The only thing more shocking to end Emily’s night was to find a distraught Aiden. He showed her another video the Initiative had left him: this of Colleen supposedly dying. And Aiden was none to happy that Emily’s advice had led to this. “If she’s dead, this is on you,” he said.
Damn. A lot happened in this episode. Do you think Revenge is getting back on track? Or is the show about as sunk now as we know the Amanda is going to be?
Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt
[Photo Credit: ABC]
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Tact is often a writer's best friend when discussing controversial events. But not today, because a bunch of idiots think that Neil Patrick Harris' new Super Bowl ad is pushing some sort of "gay agenda" while simultaneously mocking Christianity. Clearly they've never heard of the words "imitation" or Beyoncé. And they also haven't seen any of the other advertising materials related to the upcoming CBS-fronted Super Bowl. Apparently, their frequency is only tuned to Tim Tebow.
Harris' face is featured in a new commercial for the upcoming sporting event, shown wearing the often-seen-on-sports-types eye black (it helps with the sun reflection! My brother will be so proud I know that), with the date of Super Bowl XLVII (Feb. 3, 2013) written over it.
Now, any one with even a minimal knowledge of popular culture will look at the advertisement and go "oh look, NPH is doing his best Beyoncé!" and laugh about how wonderfully delightful and playful the all-around entertainer is when it comes to pretty much everything. But no! Not those over-eager beavers at WND—those folks saw nothing of the sort when they looked upon Harris' face. What they saw was, according to an unnamed "football fan" who watched the ad, was CBS "pushing a gay agenda by using him, and they’re mocking Christians at the same time." Why? Because a lot of times, Tim Tebow writes the names and numbers of Bible verses in his own eye black (i.e. "John 3:16").
Just pointing this out: no one got mad when noted heterosexual woman Beyoncé Knowles did the same thing in her Super Bowl-related advertisement. Guess everyone missed that her ad was actually trying to push a radical womens' agenda! Women are dangerous! Jokes aside, Beyoncé definitely has more than a couple gay fans and vocal about her belief in God: was her ad an affront, then, too? No? Why's that? Oh, right, because she's not a gay man.
Now here is where tact would come in mighty handy: trying to see both sides of the argument, and where someone who is a better person than me would say something about how the eye black that Harris is wearing has a shape more similar to Tebow's than Beyoncé's, therefore causing the kerfuffle. But that won't be happening here, because aren't we all just sick and tired of the seemingly never-ending tirade of fear-mongering that uninformed, hateful people just love to talk about? When is this stupidity going to end? It's always a joy to hear folks such as this unnamed football fan (which, sidenote: is that even allowed in respectable journalism?) above force the rest of the population to respect their religious beliefs (in a country that was founded on the rights of religious freedom), while simultaneously berating and disrespecting the lives of others that have nothing to do with them whatsoever. Sounds like someone can dish it, but not take it.
Not every single thing that gay people do is to force a so-called gay agenda. Nor is there—that I know of, but maybe my gay friends have been holding out on me!—a gay agenda at all. I'm pretty sure any gay agenda just translates to "equality" and "equal rights." (Call me crazy! It's just an idea I have.) Whatever happened to people living their lives and treating others as they wished to be treated? What happened to acceptance and reason and goodwill towards man? Assuming that everything the gay community does is a pointed attack on your religious beliefs sure is an egotistical way to live a life. Do you really think they care about what you think that much? Is everything that these so-called Christians do pushing a Christian agenda? Would anyone ever even assume that? Isn't that equally as disrespectful (if not more so) to people who may not hold your beliefs? There is such a thing as living life outside of the religious perspective. And that doesn't make CBS or Neil Patrick Harris bad people. It just makes them Americans exercising their rights.
So yeah, chill out, everyone. Besides, I hear you're way more susceptible to the gay agenda when you're all worked up.
Do you think Harris' ad is offensive? Do you think the claims of mockery are valid? Let us know in the comments!
Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes
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Each week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of Dec. 31 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we'll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week's issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that'll put hair on your chest. Here are the week's entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.
Take the Edge Off With a Little Leftover New Year’s Champagne
Matt Damon is ready to replace Ben Affleck.
Did I just crush your whole world? Well, don’t feel too crushed, his “replacement” is the infinitely lovable John Krasinski, so it’s alright.
Rex Ryan. Seriously? Why? Why is this happening?
I suppose this is how some people deal with failure. The New York Jets coach got a “sexy” tattoo of his wife taking a Tim Tebow pose in a Mark Sanchez jersey. There is a photo. Excuse me while my brain takes a breather.
Surprise, surprise. Late Night wars are still a thing.
Damn you, Jimmy Kimmel.
Let Loose With a Midday Cocktail (We won’t tell anyone)
We haven’t yet forgotten about Kathy Griffin’s messy New Year’s.
Yeah, you know. The part where she tried to give Anderson Cooper a South Pole smooch on national television.
Dammit, America.
We thought we’d worked out our country’s strange obsession with Honey Boo Boo, it seemed to have simmered down to its rightful level. Then the New Year strikes and not only is that not true, but we’ve got another show to redneckignize: MTV’s Buckwild.
Frank Ocean joins the legions of celebs being caught with Mary Jane.
Hey, hey, no seriously you guys. Everyone just needs to chill, okay? Chill.
Community Just Lost a Very Important Writer to Modern Family
And that’s not great news for the swiftly shrinking crew at Greendale. Man, it’s hard to be a Community fan.
Let’s Forget This Ever Happened With That Bottle of Rum You Got For Christmas
Azealia Banks stop. Just stop.
Look, we were really stoked about what 2013 would like for you. See? But we didn’t bank on you using “foul” language that offended one community, only to turn around and justify the language by offending your own community of women two seconds later... and that you'd put it all on Twitter. Maybe you should pull a Kanye and quit Twitter for a beat or two.
Evil Dead released its red band trailer and we totally watched it. Lobotomy please!
So here’s what happened. We saw that there was a red band trailer for this movie, meaning it was worse than the original one that sent us crying home to our mothers. We swore we wouldn’t watch it. Then we did and the flowers no longer grow, colors have all turned gray, and the sun no longer shines.
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[Photo Credit: Screen Gems]
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Poor Rex Ryan. Just as we were beginning to forget the embarrassing foot fetish video that found its way on the Internet in 2010, the New York Jets coach was photographed with new ink that seems straight out of a future Hangover movie. While on vacation in the Bahamas, a New York Daily News reporter snapped a picture of Ryan with what appears to be a tattoo of his wife, Michelle, wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey, striking a Tim Tebow pose.
The hodgepodge of football references is confusing enough, but the choice of ink is even more confounding considering Sanchez's failure as a quarterback and rumors that Tebow will be leaving the Jets. Of course, that's providing the tattoo equivalent of a sad trombone is actually real.
But where does it stack up among other crazy celebrity tattoos? Check out our gallery of 14 crazy star tats, and, remember, don't drink and ink.
14 Crazy Celebrity Tattoos
[Image Credit: New York Daily News]
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"I made a deal with Rex. Two times a year he's gonna let me play quarterback for the Jets. I chose the (New England) Patriots (because) I gotta see Tom Brady up close; he's very good looking." Adam Sandler jokes about casting New York Jets football coach Rex Ryan in his new movie That's My Boy.