Message Boards

Topic : Working Moms

Do you work outside of the home? Share advice on juggling family and work with other moms in the workforce.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

/sigh

I am a working, divorced mother of 3.&nbsp

&nbsp

I am so thankful that i was able to stay home with my kids for 8+ years. I truely do not understand the world today. We do not even have families anymore. People give birth, take a few months to nurse them, then drop them in the hands of someone to raise them till we send them off to school. &nbsp

&nbsp

As many have already said in this topic, woman are now expected to work out of the home as well as look after all the same old duties within.&nbsp

The frozen food industry thrives! And still we strive to nourish our families properly after a full day of work its hard to do. Nevermind the emotional nourishment we are failing to fully give as we cant even feed ourselves. Its a race against time. &nbsp

&nbsp

I feel everyone needs to just slow down and remember where it is we are striving achieve. Our children watch as we destroy the earth, and we as parents just continue with our set agendas, day in and day out. These kids have thier eyes open wider than we do and understand the crisis of the world. Each day they are bombarded with such incredible amounts of information, that its seems they would need even more devotion and time from us then that of generations past. &nbsp

I do not mean to be negative, nor put anyone down. I know first hand the effects of circumstance. I only wish to remind you all to make the most of this holiday season and to step back and reflect on your true goals as parents.&nbsp

Thank you to all that shared organization techniques, time is becoming as precious a commodity as water now adays. Have a wonderful Christmas.&nbsp

working mother

I'm 27 years old and have 5 children 13, 12, 9, 8, & 2. We are a blended family and both of our ex's are dead beats that don't pay childsuport or help in any other way. We both work out of the home full time. I trully wish that I could stay home but having 5 kids that is not an option. &nbsp

&nbsp

You just have to take it one day at a time and take a deap breather. We run all over town every day to football and basket practice. My husband does help out alot. We do strugle with church, school, and disapline. &nbsp

&nbsp

It is extreamly hard work you just need to set priorities. Read a book to your kids or vacum. I love a clean house but if I over do the cleaning that means less time with my kids.&nbsp

working moms should get applause

There is nothing wrong with working moms. In todays society, where homes and cars and daily expenses are outrageous, it is almost a necessity. I am a working mom and proud of it. My mom was a teacher and I don't think that I ever felt deprived that she was not "at home with cookies waiting" when I got home from school. &nbsp

&nbsp

I think those who are financially able to stay home with their children are wonderfull. But please do not look down on those mom's who work outside the home, take care of the house, and still have time to play with their children. These women need to be looked up to for what they do. I have seen a few friends get into great financial trouble while only one spouse it working. There is no need for the dad/mom to work 2 jobs so the other can stay home. They the spouse that is working is missing out on all aspects of family life, just so the other can stay home. &nbsp

Help

Hello, im 15 and my mom and dad both work full time, thats fine but they dont really ever talk to me. When i was little they always did and would always eat dinner as a family at the table. But now a lot of things happend in the past 2 years, getting into drugs and suiside and cutting and now im not close with my mom or dad. They work everyday from 5 in the morning till 7 at night and always work more overtime. All they care about is work and money. They give all the money to me, and i try to tell them moneys not the most important thing and they say well u like money dont u? and of cours ei like money but i dont know what else to say to them. Ive been really depressed and have noone to talk to, i try but all they want to do is watch tv when they get home from work, and if i try to talk they say shh or be quite, and all we do is fight and argue. Some times i like it when we fight because i actually get to tell them how i feel even if they dont really listn or they say well thts not true. I dont know hat to do anymore, my parents jsut work to much and im lucky if i see them 5 minutes a day.

Jumpin In Head First

I have recently become a single parent jumping into the work force head first. I have 5 kids, ages 15 to 6. On one hand I am so ecstatic about finally being my own, independent person and doing it all on my own, raising my babies, and on the other, I am totally scared to death. It's a new year, with new opportunities but will there be a job out there? Crossing my fingers, saying my prayers, and keeping positive that this is my year as well as my kids.&nbsp

Hi !

Hello, im 15 and my mom and dad both work full time, thats fine but they dont really ever talk to me. When i was little they always did and would always eat dinner as a family at the table. But now a lot of things happend in the past 2 years, getting into drugs and suiside and cutting and now im not close with my mom or dad. They work everyday from 5 in the morning till 7 at night and always work more overtime. All they care about is work and money. They give all the money to me, and i try to tell them moneys not the most important thing and they say well u like money dont u? and of cours ei like money but i dont know what else to say to them. Ive been really depressed and have noone to talk to, i try but all they want to do is watch tv when they get home from work, and if i try to talk they say shh or be quite, and all we do is fight and argue. Some times i like it when we fight because i actually get to tell them how i feel even if they dont really listn or they say well thts not true. I dont know hat to do anymore, my parents jsut work to much and im lucky if i see them 5 minutes a day.

I'm sorry hun that your parents don't realize what they are doing. First thing you gotta remember is that parents make many mistakes, just like everyone else. Parents sometimes forget what it was like to be a teenager, they forget the pressures, the frustration they felt, etc. But you also need to know, raising a family, keeping bills paid, etc, is a lot of pressure and frustration for parents. Kids want a lot of things, name brand clothing, cell phones, mp3players, etc...and things are expensive, too expensive.

A little run down of it for my family of 5 is, 600 a month on food, 300 to 400 a month for heat/electricity, cable is 150 a month, phone/internet is 85 a month, car expenses 200 +a month, new clothing/nessecities run around 500, entertainment (we are cheap with this, we prefer to read a lot) about 100 a month. Housing is 750 a month, does not include taxes and insurance. And that is not all. There are doctor bills, insurances, savings, misc bills like school needs and dance classes/piano classes...etc...it doesn't seem to end.

I know you are doing the things you are doing as a way to call out to your parents. One thing I learned early on from my own parents, is that you can not be held responsible for your parents mistakes, and that is what you are doing, holding yourself responsible. You need to be proactive for yourself. Do not come out of this at 18 broken, but take away the important lessons you have learned and build on it. Learn what not to do when you are a parent. That is what I did. My mom and dad were not involved in my life unless I didn't clean, or forgot to iron, or had money that they wanted. They didn't know that I was sneaking beer into my room, or trying drugs, or being easy. One day I realized that it didn't matter what I did, the effect of it was on myself, not on my parents. I was only hurting me. I learned to be involved, to help my kids with homework, to listen to them and respect their opinions and ideas. I also learned to back off when I need to, to teach them that housework is not more important than homework (as my parents told me it was) and that kids need to be kids. I learned alot. Be able to say the same.

What I suggest you do first is to find a safe person in your area. A school counselor, a favorite teacher, someone from church (if you go), even someone from a mentor program so you have someone you can talk to. Then if you aren't seeing anyone for your cutting, suicide, drug issues, then find someone. I imagine your parents know about this, maybe request they get a counselor to help with this. Then as far as your parents are concerned, maybe reach out in an unexpected way. Since they get home at 7, maybe have dinner ready, tell them (when they ask what's going on) that you miss family dinners and just wanted that. Don't get into everything yet, just take it in baby steps. Maybe ask your mom to go with you somewhere, like the library, or some social club (something free so they can see that not everything is about money). And do the same with dad. When things are quiet and going well go to one of them and say something like "Mom, I need to talk to you. It's important to me." And tell her what is going on with you. If she doesn't listen, or brushes it off, or it turns into an arguement, then tell her to come to this site. Let her read what you wrote, just to see that her baby wrote it for all the world to see, will show her that it is important and it does matter.

One Stressed out mom

I am a 31 year old mothe of 3 and have a fiance that works 7 days a week and is on call 24-7. I work full time, go to college 2 nights a week and I am a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. I go to one meeting a week for my recovery and have no time for myself what so ever. On the weekends there is kaos around this house, I am a clean freak and with three kids running around making messes, yelling, screaming, fighting it is crazy around here. It is impossible to keep up with that let alone have time to myself. I fight constantly with my finace about this and it seems to go in one ear and out the other most of the time. I am tired all the time and since I am clean and sober I can't do drugs to keep me going so the next best thing is mochas, mochas , and more mochas I am so burnt out and overwhelmed with all of this that I am out of my mind and worried about everyone else and if they are ok when I am not. I do not have anyone to talk to because I don't let myself be available to do so. I don't trust women because of my past and I know they are my allies in this and I have to get past the hurt and pain that I have put everyone through with my alcohol and drug addiction. I just need some suggestion from the mothers out there that can relate at all.

Working Moms

hi to mom'srule,&nbsp

i feel your pain and frustration. it is a very rough world out there when one try and do things al by yourself. in general i do not have any trust in woman myself aswell, due to a mother that use to beat the shits out of me on a dailybasis. the one person that was suppose to love and comfort me did the most dammage. It sounds as if you really are taking on alot of responsibility here.&nbsp

I am new to the website and am not always sure about the way to get around doing things here. However I really freak out when things get to much for me or you know what seems to happen lately when i do not take care of myself: the pain, hurt, tears and frustration pushes itself out in a very distorted way.&nbsp

it happened last friday, 27/01/2006, in a meeting , while the managers were disussing the most fair and efective way to eliminate the acces of team leaders on our Medial Scheme Call Centre floor.&nbsp

we were told about two weeks before we need to come up with key measurements to finalise a prcocess for all. it fells like leading yourself to the altar to be slaughtered.&nbsp

instead of dealing with the emotional whatever i was experiencing, i cropped up. And when last friday's meeting happened, the dam wall burst ! i cried for two days.&nbsp

today, monday, 30/01/2006, my manager and myself had a discussion, discussed the process and i also informed him, i am definitely not ready to throw the towel in. i am in the race.&nbsp

still nerve wrecking however i will not give up without a fight.&nbsp

coming back to you, Momsrule, you really need to take care of yourself. If Dr Phill would talk to you he would say to you: In order to provide your children with the best mom they will ever find, Mom need to look after herself, be her own manager. please do so...in this dogy dog world we live in.....we need to take care of ourselves everyday !&nbsp

Working Moms

Hi all ! I was a stay at home for 7 yrs, last year I went to work part time in the evenings. I have three boys and a hubby that I like to prepare supper for before I leave. I leave for work at 3:45 and my hubby gets home at 430. I don't imagine after a hard day that he wants to prepare a long big meal! My problem is I am running out of ideas that I can make. I always peel the pototoes and put them and the veggies in the pot, and then he cooks the meat. Or I will make a stew type thing, or casseroles but I am running out of ideas if anyone can help! Thanks!

You don't need great meals every night. My husband does the cooking because he gets home before me. He does tacos, BBQ's, hamburgers, pizza, cooks on the grill, chicken stir frys, fish sticks and tator tots, and stuff like that. We do crockpot meals too. Plus on weekends I make up different meals to just heat up in the oven. Hope this helps. Good Luck.