Monday, September 27, 2010

Last weekend was the annual Wool Gathering festival in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Every year my mom and I say we aren't going to go, and then we always do. And every year I say I'm not going to buy any roving or laceweight, and every year that's all I buy. I can't spin. Here's what my last attempt looked like:

That's hideous.
But somehow I always convince myself that this will be the year I learn to spin for real.

Ah well. If I ever decide to make a serious attempt, I'll have many pounds to work with.

And this adorable hair barrette from the Peruvian lady. Even though it's not really fiber-related, she has a space there every year, and I always go bonkers over it.

Here's my roving. I completely forget what I even wanted to make with it. But I couldn't resist, it's so beautiful! Mom and I went back to the Fiber Optics space several times, it's just unbelievable stuff!

And I rescued this Wollmeise from a vendor's personal stash. She was going to use it for socks. For a man. Sacrilegious.
I'm going to use it for an Ishbel shawl. Someday.

But first, I'm going to practice using laceweight yarn with a Citron shawl and this Malabrigo:

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I haven't technically been a fellow consumer for quite a long time (other than the discount grocery store,) and maybe that is why I haven't noticed the recent trend in freakish awareness of dental hygiene accompanied by chronic littering. I'm talking about dental floss. You know, the single-use kind, with a plastic handle and a little piece of floss strung across one end?

Yesterday while running errands, I had to stop at four stores. In every single parking lot, there was a dental floss pick on the ground next to my car. Two things about this bother me: First, that it's become necessary to floss that many times every day. Has there been a recent FDA discovery linking high fructose corn syrup with gum disease that nobody told me about? You must have a lot of crap stuck between your teeth if your used floss is so horrifying that it must be disposed of immediately in the parking lot.

Which brings me to my second point- How do those little things work, exactly? Say you started with your back teeth and worked your way up. You only have a half inch of floss here, so if you did extract something from the back, where's the clean floss for the rest of your teeth? I can't imagine just jamming it back up into the next space with a glob of food or plaque on there. That's like picking your nose and putting it back in, am I right? So now what- Do you wipe it on your jeans? Toss it and start with a fresh one? Maybe that's why they're all over the ground?

In closing, I'd like to suggest that if you do feel the need to floss your teeth in the Target parking lot, maybe you could just throw it in the trash can. Where I don't have to look at your plaque string.

Thanks.

Me

Dear Gasbag in my office,

Please stop farting in the vestibule every afternoon on your way out. I really appreciate that you've held it in this long, but surely you can make it two more steps to the great outdoors. There's no ventilation in the vestibule, which means your stinky fart lingers for hours. I know, because often it's still there the next morning. How is that even possible? What are you eating??

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Elvis Impersonator,

I think it's really great that you're trying to advertise your tattoo shop by dressing up like Elvis and doing a creepy dance on the sidewalk every afternoon at 3:30. Keep up the good work.

Me

Dear Weird Parents at the playground,

I know it's my fault for bringing my daughter to the playground on the night of soccer practice. I really should expect some variety of lunacy considering the sheer number of unsupervised children compared to the number of gossiping adults. But I was especially alarmed this week when a small group of middle-aged men dressed in what can only be described as "roadhouse wear" stood close to the play equipment and argued about the likelihood of Captain Picard defeating the Borg in the manner that he did.

I understand that you're entitled to discuss whatever you feel necessary at the playground and I have no right to judge, but I admit that I become somewhat uncomfortable when the conversation turned to the best method of mutilating extraterrestrials should they suddenly appear on the playground. I'm glad to know how concerned you are for the safety of the children involved in this theoretical attack, but I have to wonder if the playground is really the place to discuss the details of this. Maybe you should map out a battle plan before you leave the house? Just a suggestion.

Furthermore, I really feel that bringing a small stereo to play a Rob Zombie CD was a little inappropriate.

Sincerely,
Me
PS. For the record, the other race in Battlestar Galactica was Cylons, not Cyclons.
Dorks.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Wow I can't believe I haven't written anything in over a week! Well really there's not a whole lot to tell. Since I'm at work all day, analyzing data and comparing numbers, the creativity has been sucked right outta me. Let's just do the highlights. Here's what I've been doing:

-Adding fresh bandaids to the old bandaids on my steak knife-d finger to from a bandaid conglomerate. I know it's not bleeding anymore, and I did take it off once and slather neosporine on it and it looked harmless. But it still hurts terribly, so I'm just going to keep adding more layers of bandaid padding.

- Stalking around the interwebs for tidbits about the season 6 premier of Bones. Here's what I've gathered: There will be a baby. Someone will die. (Besides the dead people.) There will be a busty blonde between Booth and Bones and our emotions will by toyed with until we don't know if we love or hate her.

- Gobbling many, many dollars' worth of Cold-Eeze in the hopes that this oncoming cold will not rear its ugly head for the annual WOOL GATHERING FIBER FEST ON SATURDAY!!! Holla!

The lymph node on my throat/neck keeps doing that nasty swelling-up thing and I don't know what's going on but it's not fun.

-Nurturing my love/hate relationship with the office vending machine. If I'm trying to behave, it will be stocked with chocolate danish, chocolate donuts, and dark chocolate Milky Ways. If I decide to reward myself for eating only one bean burrito instead of my customary two with a side of beef Chalupa supreme, the machine will inevitably contain salami sticks and granola bars.

- Coming home from work and staring bleary-eyed at the walls for awhile, then collapsing into bed with old episodes of Gilmore Girls. Where it's always a perfectly chilly 52 degrees in the perpetually autumnal Stars Hollow, where there's always a hunky guy with free pie and gargantuan mugs of coffee, and where nobody ever has to suffer the humilation of a rushed and sweaty trip through the grocery line with feminine product A, feminine product B, and a king-sized Hershey bar only to be followed by a second trip through the same line to purchase the heavy-duty version of feminine product B and a pack of new panties. Because that last one sounded more like Dayton, Ohio.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I'm having a lot of fun doing a set of treasuries with color variations on a theme.
This weekend I'm using one of my favorite songs ever, Pale September by Fiona Apple. The lyrics are exquisite:

Pale September, I wore the time like a dress that year
The Autumn days swung softly around me like cotton on my skin
But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared
My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within

What kind of images does that bring to mind for you? I'm picturing soft, floaty, ethereal, romantic things. Here are my three color schemes....

PS. I used this new tool to bring the buying info straight to my blog! Pretty cool huh? So if you want to see more detail, just click on the item to go straight to the listing page.