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Welcome to the Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis.

GFF is a community of gaming and music enthusiasts. We have a team of dedicated moderators, constant member-organized activities, and plenty of custom features, including our unique journal system. If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ or our GFWiki. You will have to register before you can post. Membership is completely free (and gets rid of the pesky advertisement unit underneath this message).

Congle line of abuse. Or is that conga-line. Or congaline.'s

This cacophony of commie buzz words and simplistic, condescending communist ideals both offends me as an American, and as a music listener. Should’ve been called Red Side Of the Moon.

I made this so it's easier to copy+paste my name into the log-in form.

I guess I could say things. Stuff is good, work and school are good. Some dreams didn't materialize, but others have, so I guess I'm doing better than expected.

Last semester was super busy, no time to do anything, no time to talk, no time to have hobbies. I did get to play through La Mulana which was fun but that was about it. Now that the semester is over I find myself trying to figure out what to do with my free time.

Things I've been up to:

1. Playing more MTG
2. Play more Clarinet
3. Painting more.
4. Spending more time with people I've had to blow off all year.
5. Sleeping in.
6. Getting trampled by the cat as a means to wake me up to go feed her.

Today marked the first day of a journey that will never be forgotten, I discovered La Mulana and the perils within.

The day started as any other, I marched back and forth slaying serpents and dodging birds aimlessly for no apparent reason when I met a strange person in a tent out beyond the hot spring. I was told I could finally get around that nasty, hundred-eyed golem with the help of the supposed Serpent Staff. My natural instincts lead me to believe that my quest was to kill those slippery demons until the staff was bestowed unto me, and so I did just that.

I killed them for hours to no avail. I gathered a decent amount of gold for myself and wandered aimlessly for more until I finally decided to introduce myself to the villagers where my journey began. I connected with who I assume was the village elder, I didn't bother asking, and now he emails me somewhat cryptic messages now and then, telling me not to try and breath underwater (lord knows I would have tried, many times). He also suggested using a scanning device which might give answer to where I could go next and perhaps even find a map from an old, long dead adventurer.

Well, my dear friend, I found that map and it was all gibberish. Absolute rubbish. So I went back to my routine and wandered some more, back and forth, until I finally lifted my head and realized that there was a gaping hole in the mountains East with statues within that I had never noticed, despite walking by it many times before. In fact I had climbed over it and even stood at the entrance, facing this apparent entrance dead on, but I suppose I just didn't really grasp what it was, actually. So I walked in and, yes, an actual adventure had begun after so much pointless existence!

Sadly, journal, my excitement quickly became fear as the entrance lead to La Mulana, an ancient ruin with basic bitches running around that make me look like a chump, which I am. I'm not sure how I have survived this long but I believe is must do something with these strange runes that keep asking me if I'd like to save my progress, which I do. I'm stricken with constant deja vu as I jump over large pits, avoid traps, and slay these nasty baddies that pursue me. I have this constant feeling that death has already fallen upon me and time seems to stretch for an eternity. Have I been to this place before? How I have managed to get beyond these things and how I managed to build up JUST enough strength to do the things I've done so far I'll never know.

All though, Journal, to be honest I'm not sure I've done anything of note. I found a blue ball, some Hero Boots, and lots of cans of food that, instead of eating, I put on tiny pedestals that open secret doors and treasure chests. At least I assume they open chests since I've only opened maybe one or two and I forget how I did it. I escaped La Mulana several times to get a breath of fresh air and to my surprise the local savages sell software for my computer including a program that allows me to read, which is how I've managed to write this entry tonight. Reading seems to be a useful tool but so far I've only read up on cryptic mythology that only makes me wish I was still illiterate. It's a burden, journal, but talking to you makes me feel better about it.

Journal, what further trials lie before me, I do not know. I've been sucked into the darkness and even forgot about that blue-eyed bitch. Maybe I'll find a Serpent Staff. Or just die. Finally.

I miss basil, I want to write more things from his sister's perspective.

How about fuck you and burn in hell, you dumb fucking piece of shit? What exactly gives you the right for you and all of your other dumbass friends to stalk my Facebook profile and gather details about my personal life for your own amusement, Erik Portillo? Because I had some beef with some different people that has absolutely nothing to do with you whatsoever? That's a shitty excuse to go on a doxxing mission to "out" me, because I've never confronted you directly and I've never spoken ill about you. So for the sake of "the lelz" for you and your fucked up friends to have a laugh, you decide to go after me AND MY FAMILY while hiding behind an anonymous username and avatar because you're a spineless coward and a bully who doesn't have a job or a life and has to fulfill his desires to get some action in his life by targeting people who have nothing to do with you.

That's the effect gutter trash scum as yourself and your shitty friends have every time you gang up on somebody just because they aren't involved in/too intelligent to get involved in The Elitist Asshole Clique or they're legitimately angry about something that doesn't directly concern you. I'm not going to kill myself however because I already know that I'm better than a group of trolling asswipes acting like crybabies because they're all nerd-raging Gamergate-perpetuating basement dwellers who have nothing better to do with their lives. All of the comments on these pages agree with me and you and the rest of you dumb fucks should learn to get it through your heads should you one day bully someone else to the point where they kill themself and then you all get taken to court for involuntary manslaughter.

So go ahead and waste your time. Copy and paste this entire thing on your precious journal entry on a website for jerkoffs and have fun at my expense because your entire group is a bunch of attention whores whose parents never coddled you and you feel the need to compensate for your pathetic lives somehow. Live your life a lie in your own little shielded bubble where the rules of the world outside your parents' basement don't apply. But you'd better be prepared for reality when you eventually *do* come out of hibernation and join the rest of us mature, functioning adults in society or else the next thing you know you'll be on the street pleading for people to spare you some change, and nobody will give a shit because it's your fault you can't own up to your mistakes, apologize, and stop being bullies. *I* certainly won't, because my respect is reserved for people who have shown themselves as admirable and help contribute to make things better; NOT people named Erik Portillo, Sarah Hello, Justin Bielawa, Andrew Dennis, or Brent Danger.

Because all you and your friends do day in and day out is play video games and troll people YOU don't care for, instead of going outside and making a positive change and contributing something positive for once in your lifetime.

Because scum like you need to be curbstomped so you will learn some manners and to stop being willfully ignorant when your betters call you out on your disgusting actions.

Because *I'm* not taking the side of those who get butthurt, upset, cry, whine, and continually harass the other person until they rightly retaliate all because they watch a few TV shows you couldn't care less about.

I'm not going to dignify your bullshit with a response anymore. What I *am* doing and what I *have* been doing however is collecting it all for a potential class-action lawsuit against Gamingforce. So keep the abuse, libel, and defamation of my character coming, because the grim reaper brought his death knell upon this shithole many years ago and you're living up very well to your UrbanDictionary.com entry.