#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Brandi: You'll See Who the Real Liar Is

Brandi explains her 'Brokeback Mountain'-style relationship with JR, why she made fun of Lisa, and why she thinks Carlton is "c---y" in a good way.

Hi! First let me explain what was (and still is) happening between me and my on-again/off-again boyfriend JR. I'm sure one can only imagine the huge amount of trust issues I must have. Well, JR has a bunch too, so maybe we're not the best combo.

So after he got me my dream rental the day prior, I text my "boyfriend" JR, saying "Let's go out and celebrate!" He texts me back "Just randomly, last minute boarded a plane to Austin for a music festival with a bunch of my 'couples friends' and will be back in a few days. . ." In my head I go to the "super shady" place, and I don't need this again. There was no invite, no discussion, and no mention of a trip to me. He just decided to up and go -- which is fine if your a single guy, but not if your telling me you want to be my boyfriend. So we broke up. . .again! JR and I are Brokeback Mountain-style -- "We just can't quit each other." Ugh.

Let the games begin! Watching the show back is always taxing and exhausting. While I do believe that Lisa fainted, I had to give her a bit of a hard time about it because it was oh sooo pretty. Maybe when she fainted she hit her head -- that would explain her recent memory loss of a certain conversation we had. I am many many things, but a liar isn't one of them, and you will see who the real liar is as you watch this season.

I read of Lisa's health issues in her blog this morning, and honestly I am quite shocked. After almost a year of morning phone calls from her and hanging out constantly, I have never heard of or seen any of Lisa's health issues, other then her faint. I honestly feel like someone is playing the victim card pretty hard here. The only person who is actually really suffering in our group is Yolanda. Yolanda's struggles continue and her health and family are in my prayers as always.

Carlton's house is AMAZING! I've never seen anything like it. It really is a miniature castle. I felt a connection with Carlton from the very beginning and not just because of our mutual love for cursing. We are both mothers to young children and passionate about our families.

I met Carlton's best friend through my girlfriend and she said that Carlton was a girls' girl and "c---y in a good way," so I assumed it was safe to repeat this. Not everyone clicks from the get-go, and some of our friendships will take more work then others.

As far as Kyle and the story of Mauricio's infidelity goes, I actually found out about this article coming out ahead of time and gave Kyle and Mauricio a head's up so that they could try and squash it. I would never wish for a family to be torn apart by gossip, and, although it's not clear now, I really was looking out for the well being of Kyle's family and didn't believe the silly rumors anyhow. I know firsthand the damage it can have on a family -- true or not. We have a long journey ahead of us, and I have a stomach flu, so goodnight.

Kyle: I Couldn't Do Anything Right in Kim's Eyes

Kyle discusses the building tension between herself and Kim and what it was like to kiss Steven Tyler.

Yolanda invited us all to do the Fantastic Race. I had no clue what we were in for. When we arrived, I was happy and relieved to see Camille and even HAPPIER when I found out Brandi and I were on the same team. Phew!

Once we started, I was unexpectedly into it. I really liked this running around Beverly Hills, playing childhood games. I had to laugh, because all the women were tortured to have to actually drink a shake! Hehe! All in all, I think it was a great idea and something none of us had ever done (except forLisa R.). It certainly wasn't going to repair the issues between Brandi and me, but we both went along with the game. At this point I was relieved we could actually be in the same room and be civil, even though I knew we would never be friends. I had to laugh when Brandi said "Aggressive Spice” to the girls outside of Villa Blanca. Hey! That's my line that I used on HER. Haha.

It was all worth it (or so we thought it would be), because the reward was a trip to Amsterdam! I had never been and always wanted to go. Of course I had imagined going with Mauricio, but I thought it would be fun--at least with most of the girls.

On the way to Amsterdam, Yolanda invited the women to stop in Calgary, because she and David were hosting a big event for The David Foster Foundation. Lisa R., Brandi, Kim,and I joined Yolanda. Kim had expressed to me privately that she wasn’t happy with Lisa R. I told Kim Lisa was worried, and Brandi told Kim she was questioning her sobriety after poker night. Knowing what we know now, it's frustrating watching Brandi not explain her role in that conversation. Lisa R. had actually gone to talk to Brandi about HER behavior, and Brandi quickly turned it around and made it about Kim. Brandi also expressed concern and revealed things that I know Kim wouldn't appreciate, and yet she went to Kim and said, “I just want you to know what Lisa R. has been saying."

When Kim and I discussed her issues with Lisa R., I told Kim she should pull her aside privately and let her know that while she appreciates the concern, she didn't appreciate her talking about it to other people. I said that Lisa R. would understand, and the issue would be dropped.

As soon as we arrived to the plane, Kim was giving Lisa the cold shoulder. When Kim and Lisa R. started getting into it, I wanted to get a parachute and jump off the plane. It was so uncomfortable being stuck in between the two of them. Kim was then mad at me for looking uncomfortable. Oh boy. This should be fun...

Calgary was amazing in spite of the awkwardness on the plane. The event was beautiful and such an amazing cause. The event raising $8.2 million dollars was truly impressive. The energy in the room was so exciting. I am a huge fan of many of the people who performed that night. It was so nice to see these people coming together to help these children. The highlight of the night came when Steven Tyler and I danced together on stage to "Walk This Way" AND he kissed me! OMG. I still can't believe that happened! I've always loved his music, and he was so kind, fun, and generous that night that I am an even bigger fan now.

When we arrived in Amsterdam we stopped for a moment to use the restroom, and I set my bag aside, and then we resumed walking out. After we were downstairs, I realized I had left my bag there. I felt terrible and told the girls to go ahead, but they decided to wait. Brandi and Kim were clearly annoyed with me, but it was an accident. What can I say? We were all jet lagged, and I wasn't exactly at my sharpest. The topper was when we all crashed on the escalator and Brandi actually hurt her leg. It didn't look like that big of a deal on camera, but it was actually scary. It was a full escalator, and we were all starting to pile on top of each other. Luckily someone hit the stop button.

I couldn't do anything right in my sister's eyes, and things only get worse from here on.

Kyle Richards

Outside, Kim turned to me and snapped at me again. First she said I blamed her for the escalator mishap (which I did not), then said whenever she's late I laugh at her and leave her. She was referring to Season 2 when we were going to Hawaii, and she left her passport and missed the flight. I never laughed and made fun of her. I was frustrated and couldn't exactly make the plane wait for her. I couldn't do anything right in my sister's eyes and things only get worse from here on.

Next week is the most intense moment we have ever had in five seasons of RHOBH...