Reading & Writing: Happily ever after?

Does anyone ever wonder what Sleeping Beauty thought waking up to some dude kissing her and telling her that they would live happily ever after? Why didn’t Cinderella think it a little off that her true love was so attached to her shoes that he would only marry someone who fit his fetish? And wouldn’t Snow White have a little PTSD after finding out her stepmom wants her heart and her throne? A little less, good morning let’s ride off into the sunset – maybe a little more “wtf just happened,” and why do I do all the chores for seven tiny men?

And let’s not start on the Stockholm syndrome occurring in the relationship between Belle and her Beast. Don’t get me wrong; any man who gives me a library is by definition rather hot, but the price…. Reading fairytales in their purest form takes one far afield from the Disney technicolor with which we are all familiar.

Of course, as I walk through the nearby woods, small animals scampering around my feet, serenading me with songs about true loves just behind the poison ivy – I wonder why we do this to ourselves as a society. Like anyone else, I am giddy at the prospect of romance, hearts and flowers and mushy Hallmark-ian verses.

It’s lovely – it makes you me feel amazing, but is it? Can it be? Why would you risk your whole essence on an emotion so ephemeral we describe it as “falling….”? Is “happily ever after,” possible? Do we really expect to spend our lives with someone we saw “across a crowded room, on an enchanted evening?” There are those who do… I have friends who’ve been married more than fifty years, how do they do that? Can you actually have happily after? Or are we more likely to engage in a series of monogamous relationships over a lifetime? The divorce rate does argue the latter, while the long-term lovers and the fairytales dispute that reality.

Like air, I think love and touch are essential – and I would never argue that one could live without them. I want to be kissed senseless in the rain, to spin dizzy in a field of blooms – laugh deliciously at poetry comparing me to the stars, the sky, a lilting melody or even that perfect morning cup of coffee (hey, there are worse things)… it’s just I am done with thinking those glories mean more than they do. I don’t think placing expectations of forever on someone else is fair to either party. In a perfect world perhaps, people pair off like Noah’s creatures and spend eternity together safe from the deluge. Yet, expecting that sort of stasis from life is unrealistic. And do you want love to be a spangled, shiny safety net? People change, love and desire wax and wane – rolling with its vagaries is maybe how those “forever” people make it. For others change can be too hard – and love fails when it gets caught in the expectations.

If happily ever after is elusive, should the new fairytale ending be “happily in the moment,” or “take your joy in moment-fuls.” I had a rangy, grey tabby cat long ago, who would ride on my shoulder to the vet’s office. He always looked as if he was watching tennis – each revolution of the car was new excitement for him. He experienced the journey in distinct “windowfuls.” Perhaps, we should imitate my fat Gatsby – and take each joy in the moment it’s offered, reveling in the life we have as opposed to some distant “ever after.”

once upon a time:

Not Meant to Be (Theory of a Deadman) — Canadian rock band discovered by Nickelback — nice rhythms, but very lyric driven

Happy Endings are Stories that haven’t ended yet (MayDay Parade) — FL alternative band, that had a hit without any major marketing and has now become a standard with Fearless records