how is that enicar company doing nowadays
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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

The minor gall, the major rift

To quote Chris Anderson responding to Milton Friedman: “A free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.”

Indeed, Craig in New York offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. On one hand: free soda. On the other: notes like these. (You can still see the CliffsNotes version peeking out from underneath.)

and for the sake of brevity, is there any way the PAN author could have condensed this thing any? Just maybe? One might have to trim some of the sarcasm down, but people might get the point without reading a lengthy note.

And that is exactly what I love, love, love about this note. You could replace “Free Soft Drink” with virtually any household item. Say toilet paper. Or laundry detergent. Or anything else my ex- would finish off and not replace.

“I” may have to do this daily?!? It looks like the Refrigerator Stocking Angel is getting lazy, but not lazy enough to type a long notice!…and the rest of the bastards…well they’re just greedy…. drinking all the cold drinks and such….

i love fresca. don’t they have any ICE in the fridge? It’s a FREE SOFT DRINK for christ’s sake, people! just get some fricken ice and shut up already about the soda not being cold.
a free fresca would really hit the spot right now, man.

geez you had to bring up ice…if I could find a single lone frozen cube in my office fridge it would be a miracle. I once brought in a container to save 4 cubes for later in the afternoon and some asshole stole it and the saved cubes….bastards, kill’em all.

The best part about all the details, is that they were most likely written because someone needed that detail explained to them. That means that someone has panicked, didn’t notice the doors to the right, wasn’t careful when they looked behind the doors, didn’t notice several packs of soda, didn’t carry them gently, forgot to open the fridge door, and didn’t discover the soda chilled when they came back later.

In my house the Stocking Angel takes socks from the dryer and places them throughout the house. I would assume that the Refrigerator Stocking Angel limits this practice to molesting socks in the fridge.

Interestingly enough, stalking Angel can cost you 90 days in the slammer.

We tried this in our office kitchen just above the sink… WASH YOUR OWN DISHES, YOUR MOTHER DOESN’T WORK HERE! The note made no difference whatsoever. I think there are dishes piled in the sink right now.

Seriously, if it’s this much of a problem I’d stop providing free pop (sorry, folks it’s pop…soda is a caustic alkaline substance that can be used in a variety of industrial applications) and fire the mindless goldbrick who penned this tome.

Police still have no suspects in the brutal slaying of The Stocking Angel. Investigators have not been able to get any leads from the office where she was last seen alive. The Keebler Elves and the Tooth Fairy are still unable to perform their duties while the killer remains at large. If you have any information leading to the arrest and conviction of the killer you may be eligible for a reward. Call Crime Stoppers….

Yes, Officer, I wanted to report a crime.
About the missing, possibly slain Stocking Angel ? Well, I found out something that may be quite interesting to you.

What ? Well, I think our culprit may be ……

The Chilled Six Pack.

Last seen laying about in the cabinets to your right. No –to your Right. (if indeed you are still facing the refridgerator). He’s been indigent for some time now, and not having been moved by his mateys, and only recently re-established contact with the Stocking Angel since returning to the refridgerator after a tumultous falling out.

I heard there is a secret door
Behind it are soft drinks and more
But you don’t really care for cold drinks, do you?
Maybe it’s just your laziness
But won’t you please listen to this?
I’ve got a lesson for you, hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah…

You’re headstrong, but don’t you see?
Cold drinks work the best for me
These helpful steps will guide you through it
Quietly turn to your right
You’ll see the door, you’ll see the light!
Yes, from your lips it draws a hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah…

Now carefully open the door
You’ll see the drinks, so much more
Now grab a six-pack of them, will you?
Gently carry the six-pack back
Carefully place it on the rack
Close the fridge’s door now, hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah…

Now you have some time to do some stuff
Before the drink is cool enough
But drinks are worth the waiting, aren’t them?
Now take your drink and take a sip
The cool soft drink will make you flip
And every sip you take is hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah…

You realize there’s a God above
Who sends to us with all his love
His Refrigerator Stocking Angel
It’s her blessings you hear at night
You’ve eased her work, with effort slight
She will thank you with her hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah…

Yeah, I know it’s not that great, but it’s half past 1 am. I’m off to bed.

Clearly, 31.1, the Refrigerator Stocking Angel is replacing everyone who does not comply with a chilled and fucking delicious soft drink. This might explain why Accounting hasn’t turned in their paperwork lately- those Pepsi cans aren’t very motivated.

Good for you, “Angel”, you put cans in the fridge for everyone. Stop expecting everyone else to be as big a chump as you. If you stop doing it long enough, people will eventually forget all about you and the apparently only useful function that you serve around there.

Maybe she puts cans in because she herself wants a cold drink from time to time and if she just put 1 can in it’d soon be taken by someone else? And it takes as little effort to put 6 in as 1, probably less if they’re sealed in 6-packs. Being neighbourly doesn’t make you a ‘chump’.
I think I agree with the others – sounds more like people have complained to her that the cold drinks keep running out. I imagine she has plenty of better stuff to do than run around after them when they can’t be arsed to put their own stuff in the fridge. Jeez.

You have in front of you an empty fridge. Do you want to trade that for door on the right or the door on the left?

audience: Door on the left!
DOOR ON THE LEFT!!!

Well folks, he’s chosen the door on the left. Let’s open it up and see if it’s a real thirst quencher.
It’s…..

a….

GOAT!

Aww, that’s tough. Let’s have a look what was behind the door on the right. Ooooh, assorted cases of warm soft drinks! I bet you’re really kicking yourself for choosing the door on the left. Well that’s it for the latest show of LET’S MAKE A DRINK. Better luck next time!

I wonder how many times this person had to act as the Fairy before he/she mustered up the courage to write this note? I bet there was lots of complaining to the Friend of the Fairy for a long time prior to the note being posted:

Fairy: Those assholes at work never replace the soda!
Friend of Fairy: They’re such assholes!
Fairy: One of these days I’m going to write a pass-aggressive note on the fridge and tell them just how i feel!
Friend of Fairy: If I were you, I’d use lots of sarcasm too!
Fairy: Yeah, someday….

No wonder she’s pissed. She needs to join the free-soda Refrigerator Stocking Angel Union. (i.e., 7Up Angels only stock 7UP; Diet Pepsi Angels only stock Pepsi, etc.) Otherwise it’s just too much. No angel should be TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR STOCKING ALL THE FREE SODA. Too much pressure on one small angelic entity, too much work and responsibility and burden. No wonder she’s a sarcastic douche.

Imagine if she had another job where she did the same thing? Brain Surgeon responsible for people’s lives, or say, stock broker, responsible for people’s life savings. Imagine the sarcastic letters she’d write in those situations.

No-one on earth could feel like this.
I’ve got a cold Sierrs Mist.
There must be an angel
Filling up my fridge.
I see the shelf that once was bare,
But now a can of birch beer’s there!
It’s an orchestra of angels
And they’re filling up my fridge.

No-one on earth could feel like me.
I’ve got a Coke that’s caffeine free.
There must be an angel
Filling up my fridge.
And when I think that I’m alone
I’ve got a root beer topped with foam.
It’s a multitude of angels
And they’re filling up my fridge.

It must be hallucinations,
Watching angels pour libations.
Could this be reactivation
Of my thirst for carbonation?
This must be a strange deception
Of my empty can collection.
Leavin’ me the recollection
Of the Pepsi generation.

Are people ACTUALLY complaining about the lack of cold drinks? Or does the Refrigerator Stocking Angel ASSUME that people want their drinks chilled? Personally I like all my beverages room temp or warmer. If I worked there I would leave my own note.

“Dear Refrigerator Stocking Demon,
I like my drinks ROOM TEMPERATURE. After you load up the Fridge with ALL of my favorite FREE SOFT DRINK I can not find a beverage to drink. I GENTLY remove a six-pack and quietly place it behind the doors on the right, yet EVERY DAY I find it back in the refrigerator!

Please get over your obsessive need for everyone to drink chilled beverages.

The single off Juice Newton’s 1998 album, ‘The Trouble With Angels’ (!) was titled ‘The Sweetest Thing’, quite possibly a reference to the sweet additives and flavourings found in most ‘pop’ or ‘soda’ drinks.

Is Juice Newton the Angel of the Break Room? Put 2 and 2 together, people. All I ask is that you look at the facts and make up your own minds….

OMG. I so know the pain. I was the one who had to stock a fridge for a bunch of uptight wanker I-bankers and it was ludicrous, exhausting…enraging! Rather than placing a six pack in the fridge, from the cupboard which was also just right of the fridge, they would EMAIL ME. They knew where the pop was kept. If that isn’t the height of wankerdom I don’t know what is. I never left a note like this. But I wish I would have. Would have been a nice exit move on behalf of the poor gal that got my job when I left the company.

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"The thing that drives me bonkers at work is to open up the trash can drawer and see a cup half-full of water that was carefully placed into the trash can so it doesn't spill--in a trash can an arm's length away from the kitchen sink!

99% of the people in my office are college graduates, probably toward the top of their class. But some without enough common sense to pour the water in the sink before putting the cup into the trash can.