I mean, don’t we have enough stuff on our cars? Calvin peein’ on this thing or that thing, naked woman mud flaps, and bumper stickers for every bent in life.

Why do our vehicles need to start wearing fake genitalia?

I’m serious.
Are the balls to compensate for something? The modern-day version of toilet paper in the bra or down the pants.

This source says they are expressions of “rural chic.” What happened to cowboy hats and denim shirts with the arms cut off?

I figure those oversized swingin’ cojones are another way of saying, Don’t mess with me! If so, I prefer the good ol’-fashioned bird. Flip me off if you have to, but for Pete’s sake, put your balls back where they belong!
p.s. I would have taken a photo, except I don’t want to get in a wreck (my daughters already got mad at me for taking the photo below while driving).

54 Responses

Hmm – interesting truck accessories. I think I could do without them, too.

I just read a study that claims a correlation between the number of bumper stickers on a vehicle and road rage. I guess the more willing you are to promote your special interests, the more willing you are to fight for your driver’s “rights.”

Wonder if someone should do a study on truck balls? Or maybe someone already has??? 🙂

yb, how funny! I once had a driver working for me on a dedicated run who had these unsightly cojones hanging from the back of his big rig. They could only be seen when he was bobtailing. Because he bobtailed half of the time, we had numerous phone calls of complaints. Mostly from carload s of families who found them to be disgusting & had problems explaining them to their children. (He had BIG cojones!!!!) He owned his own rig, but because my companie’s name was plastered on both of his doors, they could pass, write down the phone number & call with complaints. I had to tell him he needed to remove them. He thought these callers had no sense of humor. I explained about children seeing them & he promtly removed them. I have a sense of humor, but find them to be tacky indeed. The same for the naked lady mudflaps. We never allowed them either. D

Bo, good question. I’ve not seen the bumper sticker-road rage study, but I can only imagine. When I had a Kerry-Edwards sticker in ’04, I’d get vicious looks and gestures. And that was the only sticker on my car.

Jo, no, they’re not. They’re balls. My drawing wasn’t very good, but if you see them dangling from the underside of a truck, there’s no mistaking what they are.

…which makes me wonder, tpgoddess, how is it you thought of them? You’ve piqued my curiousity.

diddy, funny story. I think you can buy them in different sizes, and I suppose the bigger the truck, well… BTW, what is “bobtailing”?

you know… i just don’t understand why someone would put a set of nuts dangling from their vehicle. Here in Houston, where 4 out of every 5 vehicles is a truck and that 5th one is an SUV, one can see all kinds of things that cover up or dangle from the hitch of a truck.

Hey, so truck and SUV use aren’t waning over there in Houston? I’m noticing a gradual downsizing here. Smaller trucks, and lots of mini Coopers and such showing up. It’s a poor state. People really get affected by the gas prices.

Honestly, just when you think you’ve lived long enough to see it all … something like this comes along. I predict a new sort of vandalism may arise in your community: truck castration. Others will refer to it as public service…

So some peoples wallet crunch shows by going from an SUV to a mini-cooper? I’m not trying to be crabby here, but the poor probably aren’t driving much of anything except clunkers which really eat gas. Or taking the bus, or walking. Or not going.

This oil stuff really burns me — tirade in progress. AHHHHHHHH!

I just saw the quarterly earnings posted for one of the big oil companies this morning – record earnings! Best EVER!

Hey, you guys with the gas — give me a break! Give everyone a break, for Pete’s sake!

Bo, yeah, you’re right, no one poor could afford to go from an old truck to a mini? Hey, I’m with you on the tirade. It’s ridiculous. We’ve been doing quite a few trips up north lately, and we fill up the tank in San Felipe, one of the Pueblos. Gas in Pecos week before last was $4.24 for regular, and on the reservation it was $3.74 on the same day.

Geez – we are ball-less up here in Canada. i have yet to see one of these on trucks here, mind you i don’t get out much which may be a good thing, but then i am not on a hunt for balls on vehicles. But then i am aware of bras on cars, which is a weird practice, since fronts of cars don’t need that much up-lift, but the bras on cars that I have seen have a bit of the rubber/leather dominatrix quality to them. Why is it that here we don’t make our individual marks on our vehicles, like they do commonly in India? G

Yep, real common in NM and Texas. I’ve seen ’em hanging on rear-view mirrors in the past, and people’s homes, and even in one business. They are real cojones de toro, as those are the biggest ones usually available, but the one I saw in someone’s home was from a búfalo. People make then into wallets too, and purses other leather items. It is something ranchers and cowhands enjoy as a joke, because a lot of people stare or don’t believe that they’re real. It’s always been funny to see them anywhere, but fashioning them into a trailer hitch cover was pure genius.

I started laughing when I saw your sketch. I’ve seen these before too.

You know I can be tough at times (quite stubborn my Grandmother calls me) and I have been told I act like I have a set. :O
Maybe I should get some to put on my car..but just I’ll tie a pink ribbon around mine. hee, hee

Some of the comments were hilarious too…like suburbanlife about Canada being ball-less. I almost choked on my sip of wine.

I think it is a way to distinguish the male trucks from the female trucks. Typically, as with boats, an automobile is given the feminine gender identification. With the trucknutz, you can tell which ones are boys. I think they are nifty.

Well, check out the pic in the link below (sorry I don’t have a close-up) … it’s not a truck … but the guy driving that car really needs “them balls” because he participates at different events that include drifts & burnout (legal stuff) and he’s really good at it.

Ugh, I see these everywhere. They come in all colors, but the worst is the “people colored” ones that just look like they got lopped off someone and stuck to the truck. I don’t get this either. I would be so embarrased to buy them. Ew ew ew.

R3, a 6-pack of various colors for $80 bucks so you can mix and match? That’s just over the top. I like your comment about the leather bra and the pair — quite confusing. 8)

ybonesy, I’m happy to report that I saw none of these in Georgia or South Carolina, or anywhere in-between on our long travels in the South up to Pennsylvania. I have also not seen them in Minnesota yet. One can only hope they bypass us here. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

Makes me wonder if they are a big thing mostly in the Southwest and other western states (?). I’m looking forward to not seeing them anywhere here. But if Enna (#39) has seen them in Chicago, chances are they are on the way to Minneapolis, swinging in the breeze.

QM, maybe they’re already swinging in Minneapolis (no breeze required, they rock in rhythm with the moving vehicle) and you just didn’t know to look for them??

I know for a while when I first starting seeing them, I had this mental block. Like, I knew what they were yet the idea of balls on trucks seemed too bizarre to me that it didn’t sink in that they really were cojones.

The $80 mix-n-match package is just too weird. Reminds me of when we were kids and could buy those watches that came with different colored watchbands that you swap out. But for balls? Hijo…

ybonesy, maybe I have a (fortunate) mental block to seeing them. I’ll keep a lookout. When I was talking about it with my Dad who lives in South Carolina and drives a big truck, he said he had not seen them down there either. But maybe it is that you have to train your eye to see them.

Well, I’ll keep you posted. BTW, I still have one of those watches with the colored watchbands that you swap out. I love it; it makes me smile. When I was on the road, I wore the purple one. It kept me afloat. 8)

these testicle that hang from the interior rear view mirror and some times on trailer hitchs are from ‘scorned’ ladies or ex-lovers, recently divorced, etc.. who have either cut the male friends ‘balls’ off or finiacialy casterated him.. i think it is cool myself.. sort of sexy…in a violent sort of way, little S and M stuff.

OMG, I did check out your blog; believe me, I was reluctant to and ready to spam this comment. A whole blog decided to car and bike and other forms of nuts. Well, I guess you smile every day that you’re working on that blog. Er, um, thanks (I guess) for letting us know. 8)

Well, no worries, Canada isn’t “ball-less” (in any sense of the word), these crude truck nutz, bumper balls, etc. have found their way over here and they dangle from all sorts of trucks. Haven’t seen any colored ones, mainly chrome or gold, but regardless of color, I don’t feel they make a positive statement for the driver and I did find it faintly funny when I first saw them. Now I just roll my eyes and figure that any driver in any country who displays them does it only to compensate for what he doesn’t carry naturally. Good way to advertise the IQ and shortcomings.