A Marrow Chronicle: one patient's perspective on Stem Cell Transplantation, and things Medical, Musical, and Maritime. Not just a another geezer wheezing about his ailments.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Two Jokes, some medical content.

Good Morning all,

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – E. E. Cummings

Today we have two jokes intended to raise the spirits of the growing number of Stem Cell and Bone Marrow transplantees who are following this blog. Here is a jpeg you can save and stick onto your email or use as an avatar.

Humor is reputed to be the best medicine.

Below the jump there are links to the Mayo Clinic and WebMD and to a site that will send you the joke(s) of the day.

The Mayo Clinic has this page with links under "stress relief"WebMD has an article entitled Give Your Body a Boost with Laughter . The author interviewed one Steve Wilson, MA, CSP, a psychologist and laugh therapist, and the author of " Laughter: A Scientific Investigation" , Robert R. Provine , who says:"I don't mean to sound like a curmudgeon," says Provine, "but the evidence that laughter has health benefits is iffy at best."Drawing upon ten years of research into this most common-yet complex and often puzzling-human phenomenon, Dr. Robert Provine, the world's leading scientific expert on laughter, investigates such aspects of his subject as its evolution, its role in social relationships, its contagiousness, its neural mechanisms, and its health benefits. This is an erudite, wide-ranging, witty, and long-overdue exploration of a frequently surprising subject.

And of course, you can do a little scientific research yourself by getting A Joke a Dayin your inbox.
There are other services, this one is pretty tame.

OK, enough yackin', here are two from my Joke Collection;

--------------------------------------

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with their leader. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate. On the chosen day the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger. Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The Rabbi pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened. The Pope said,

"First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our faiths.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The Rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

Then I pulled out the wine and host to show that through the perfect sacrifice Jesus has atoned for our sins, but the Rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he'd won.

"I haven't a clue," said the Rabbi. "First, he tells me that we have three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews but I told him emphatically that we were staying right here."

" And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said the Rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine."

--------------------------------------------------------

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.

The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he hademergency open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns atthe Catholic Hospital.

A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded withseveral forms, and a pen.

She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?", askedthe irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are notspinsters! Nuns are married to God."

Follow by Email

Who is this guy?

Sixty-something spouse, sailor, musician, woodworker, boatbuilder, motorcyclist, gardener,and lately a self-taught amateur hematologist and medical dilettante.
I am in the throes of recovering from a Stem Cell transplant, and have been unable to ply any of my trades until I recover.