DuHamel Announces Immediate Retirement
Says he's tired. Has a young, beautiful girlfriend. Related?
by staff
Friday, April 01, 2005
One of the true legends of the sport of motorcycle racing has announced his immediate retirement from racing.

Former Superbike champion and five-time Daytona 200 winner Miguel DuHamel called the Soup office today and broke the news.

"I'm worn out," DuHamel said, "I'm done."

DuHamel repeatedly referenced being "tired and feeling sort of spent" when grilled for a reason for his sudden retirement. We found that odd, since DuHamel looked like an athlete in excellent shape after winning the recent Daytona 200 mile race.

One wonders, is there another reason for this sudden condition, another factor not obvious to all?

"I have no idea what that would be. Hang on a sec ..." DuHamel said, quickly setting down the phone.

Through the open phone we heard DuHamel talking. "Hey baby, Linnea, where are you going? Shopping huh? Okay, have a good time. When you comin' back? Okay, I'll wait here for you. No, no, lets just stay in tonight, okay? Yeah, I know, we stayed in last night, but I really want to spend some time with you ..."

"Whoa, I guess we're still talking, huh?" DuHamel said after picking up the phone. "What were we talking about?"

You just retired, you're tired.

"Right. So, that's it. I'm done. I knew I had to call you first because I always call you first, Paul. I mean, Dean."

DuHamel's announcement was met with shock and awe at Honda HQ in Torrance. Especially when they realized they could hire several decent MotoGP riders just on DuHamel's salary.

American Honda VP Ray Blank stated: "DuHamel has been a hero of mine ever since I was a small boy. I don't know what we'll do without him. I'm surprised he didn't tell me, Gary Christopher, or Chuck Miller first. In any event, this is a huge loss to Team Honda".

"I can imagine that the stresses of keeping the great physical condition necessary for competition at his level, as well as maintaining a relationship with his very young flame, Linnea, is more than he can handle these days. We were all hoping he would continue to race at the top level
until 60, just like his father Yvon."

On the plus side, the Team has already moved ahead, using the balance of funding from DuHamel's existing contract to hire three very, very well-known top-ten MotoGP stars, including one with a special taste for pasta and good times.

"I was surprised at how easily they agreed to return to AMA Racing, even though currently contracted. I guess AMA racing is as popular as they say it is."

We have heard rumors that Miguel has already launched a career in stand-up comedy and may be headlining at the famous Treasure Island "Lizard Lounge" in Las Vegas as early as April 10th. We wish him luck in that tough business. I just wish we could have gotten one more Daytona 200 out of him."

A farewell party is planned for April 22 at Barber in Birmingham.

More info on this incredible breaking news story later today, which is of course April 1st.