I can imagine the frustration of feeling that your mother is not getting the care you feel she deserves and that you are paying for. That would definitely make me a bitter person towards certain people.

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I feel compelled to ask a clarifying question. Your heavily disabled mother says that illnesses aren't real?_________________The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

I can imagine the frustration of feeling that your mother is not getting the care you feel she deserves and that you are paying for. That would definitely make me a bitter person towards certain people.

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I feel compelled to ask a clarifying question. Your heavily disabled mother says that illnesses aren't real?

It's a logical question after my two rants.

This was pre-brain damage. She has always lived a life that was pretty tough coming out of a poor family in a poor corrupt country. It's not so much that illness isn't real, it's that you get out of bed and get to work unless you're dead. That said, even then she was the nicest person there was, always working so hard that it scared me. She changed overnight when a blood vessel popped in her brain. From someone who did constant charity work, sported a lot and was socially active, she was reduced to a person bound to a wheelchair. This was 4 years ago and even though I get the feeling she's not always saying the truth just to make us feel better, I give her lots of hugs anyway._________________Home is where the bra isn't.

can you give the nurses like a one-page summary of Really Important Things to Know (like, she can't stand)? because it seems like they are not getting a lot of info from whoever is sending them out. and clearly it needs to be short, or they will ignore it - but this way, you would know they were getting the important info, and you wouldn't have to worry that they didn't understand your mom._________________aka: neverscared!

So your mom is in a wheelchair, has a history of a cerebral hemorrhage, and has difficulty communicating verbally and the new nurse thought she could stand in the shower?

I'm all about helping patients do things they've never done before... But those are big, red flags that say, "look into this more before making any assumptions about me!"

I would have murdered the new nurse already. But mouse's suggestion is also good._________________"Worse comes to worst, my people come first, but my tribe lives on every country on earth. Iíll do anything to protect them from hurt, the human race is what I serve." - Baba Brinkman

That's terrible that that happened to your mother, Yinello. When my grandfather was alive and in a nursing home here, he fell out of his bed a couple times. We asked if they couldn't put up the rails on his bed so he wouldn't fall out. But no, they weren't allowed to do that. They would put pillows on the floor to cushion his falls. My mom still talks about this even now and how guilty she felt for having to put him there._________________Eureka00: "Reminding you of your addictions" since 1982.

can you give the nurses like a one-page summary of Really Important Things to Know (like, she can't stand)? because it seems like they are not getting a lot of info from whoever is sending them out. and clearly it needs to be short, or they will ignore it - but this way, you would know they were getting the important info, and you wouldn't have to worry that they didn't understand your mom.

I'm not always there (and neither is my dad or the regular nurses) so we hung up a blackboard with a small description of what my mom can/cannot do and needs. But these new nurses, they're hired with the idea of low salaries (thus low quality), they just don't seem to pay any fucking attention. We've already taken it directly to management._________________Home is where the bra isn't.

So your mom is in a wheelchair, has a history of a cerebral hemorrhage, and has difficulty communicating verbally and the new nurse thought she could stand in the shower?

I'm all about helping patients do things they've never done before... But those are big, red flags that say, "look into this more before making any assumptions about me!"

I would have murdered the new nurse already. But mouse's suggestion is also good.

It pisses me off but I know by experience there's no point in getting mad at these new nurses. Their lack of experience/empathy because of low salaries and little explanation is due to budget cuts. The proper regular nurses get swamped with work because the other elderlies don't trust the newbies._________________Home is where the bra isn't.

That's terrible that that happened to your mother, Yinello. When my grandfather was alive and in a nursing home here, he fell out of his bed a couple times. We asked if they couldn't put up the rails on his bed so he wouldn't fall out. But no, they weren't allowed to do that. They would put pillows on the floor to cushion his falls. My mom still talks about this even now and how guilty she felt for having to put him there.

That's terrible that that happened to your mother, Yinello. When my grandfather was alive and in a nursing home here, he fell out of his bed a couple times. We asked if they couldn't put up the rails on his bed so he wouldn't fall out. But no, they weren't allowed to do that. They would put pillows on the floor to cushion his falls. My mom still talks about this even now and how guilty she felt for having to put him there.

Same, they just padded the floor in my grandmothers room. I believe they cited fire safety for not putting the rails up or some nonsense.

That's terrible that that happened to your mother, Yinello. When my grandfather was alive and in a nursing home here, he fell out of his bed a couple times. We asked if they couldn't put up the rails on his bed so he wouldn't fall out. But no, they weren't allowed to do that. They would put pillows on the floor to cushion his falls. My mom still talks about this even now and how guilty she felt for having to put him there.

Same, they just padded the floor in my grandmothers room. I believe they cited fire safety for not putting the rails up or some nonsense.

Yeah, it was something like that and the fact that it could be viewed as some sort of restraint and they weren't allowed to do that, even though, the man couldn't walk._________________Eureka00: "Reminding you of your addictions" since 1982.

This is minor compared to Yinello's, but yesterday afternoon we got an email from my daughters' teacher letting us know that no less than three (!) sets of parents sent their kids to school sick yesterday, and had to be sent home early. Seriously - your kids are describing flu-like symptoms to their teachers, leave them the fuck at home.

As a result, my daughters alternated vomiting all night long, so sleep was scarce. And I have to present to a group of service providers today. In fact, this week is the busiest week of the quarter, and I just can't get sick.

It's going to be a very long week._________________The cat's indifferent or he's just furious, it seems that he's never neither

can you give the nurses like a one-page summary of Really Important Things to Know (like, she can't stand)? because it seems like they are not getting a lot of info from whoever is sending them out. and clearly it needs to be short, or they will ignore it - but this way, you would know they were getting the important info, and you wouldn't have to worry that they didn't understand your mom.

I'm not always there (and neither is my dad or the regular nurses) so we hung up a blackboard with a small description of what my mom can/cannot do and needs. But these new nurses, they're hired with the idea of low salaries (thus low quality), they just don't seem to pay any fucking attention. We've already taken it directly to management.

taking it to management sounds like your only remaining option. one would think (whatever the pay was) that people would try at least to avoid causing themselves problems (dealing with your mother floundering around in the shower can't have been easy, and the nurse could have avoiding it by just reading the note)...but apparently not. i hope management will actually do something useful.

and Vox, you have my uttermost sympathy. i already hate people who drag themselves to work when they are sick, but sending their kids to school where they will feel really miserable and, of course, infect everyone else....that's really bad. NPR says it's not too late to get a flu shot, though! (and apparently the ones that cure flu once you have it work if you take them within 48 hrs. of being infected - and i would say you can nail down the time you were infected pretty well)._________________aka: neverscared!

so we put that stray cat down today. the neurologist told us that he'd lost pain sensation in his toes, which was a sign of deterioration, and once that started it would be a very quick slide downhill. they could remove the pellet, but it would be another two months before we knew whether he'd recover. in the meantime, he still wouldn't be able to walk, we'd still have to express his bladder and bowels, and we might have had to do that for two months only to find out that he'll never recover and it's time to let him go. even if our other pets had accepted him, which was no sure thing, he wouldn't have been able to romp around with them or anything. it would've been cruel to make him live like that.