I feel like I've been on an endless search for love. I know this may sound stupid, but I thought I'd be married by now. I'm a 28yo female, have a decent job in the media/tech industry, and is thought of to be "cute." I've been on a few dating sites, and it's been disastrous. Should I accept that I may end up a dog lady when I'm 50? Some of my friends are starting to get engaged and I just have this sense that that's not going to be me any time soon...

I don't want to sound lame, but I just want to meet the love of my life who completes me.

Trying Not to Be Lame

Hello Trying,

You're not being lame. It's ok.

I know you are searching for the love of your life. That sentiment can be beautiful, but I truly believe that love comes when you search for yourself, not for someone else. Here's how I think you can come closer to really getting the love that you want.

1) Love Will Come When You Know Who You Are -Aside from love and relationships, what turns you on in life? What are your passions? If you don't know, find it. And if/when you do know, do it! Not only will you be more interesting, but you'll also be more confident in your newfound awareness, and therefore, more attractive.

Too often, people become self-defeating, allowing themselves to become a doormat in their relationship (I've said this many times before). In the end, they settle for a "love" that's miserable. Take a hard, honest look at your past (or current) behavior. And remember this: you deserve everything you've ever dreamt of. If you aren't getting what you want, then maybe it's time to change how you see yourself.

3) Love Will Come When You Realize You're Already Complete - This whole idea of "You Complete Me" is a lie. Don't get me wrong, it sounds sweet... and I, too, cried during that last scene of Jerry McGuire. But, that's a movie; let it live there and not in your life.

Let's do a realistic analysis. If someone "completes" you, it means you were not whole beforehand. And that's a load of crap. You are complete on your own... and when the right person comes, he/she will just make life better. Don't go into your search thinking you NEED someone to be happy. Relying on someone else to MAKE you happy is SO much pressure to put on one person. No matter how amazing someone is, she/he is not perfect and will at some point let you down. And while that may be hard, it's OK.

You have to manifest true happiness yourself... and you can. It's within. And when you do meet "the one," you will have so much more love to give.

xo,Natalise

p.s. Listen to Pink's new song "Just Give Me a Reason" (feat. Nate Ruess). You will love again, and this time... the right way. x