Tekashi69 Gang: We Tried to Murder 50 Cent!

In case you’ve remained blissfully unaware of the Tekashi69 situation, allow us to briefly fill you in on the latest antics of the hip hop world’s answer to Sparkleshine of My Little Pony fame.

Obviously, this man has been a baffling presence on the public stage since we first became acquainted with his ridiculous name and arguably more ridiculous appearance.

But at first, most dismissed him as the latest in the long line of literally colorful, pharmaceutical-fueled emcees to emerge from the bullet-riddled wasteland that is America in 2018.

In recent weeks, however, Tekashi (nee Daniel Hernandez) has proven that his commitment to self-destruction and bad decisions rivals that of the most legendary dead musicians.

On November 19,Tekashi was arrested in connection with an incident in which he allegedly fired a gun during a robbery.

That might sound like pretty typical rapper shenanigans, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg for the esteemed Mr. 69.

Tekashi was already on the hook for another robbery (that he allegedly filmed) and a sex tape featuring a 13-year-old girl (in which he allegedly appears).

And believe it or not, the ongoing investigation into the rapper’s life and crimes keeps unearthing more violence and insanity.

The latest comes us courtesy of transcripts from a wiretapped phone call between two of Hernandez’s associates, Kifano “Shotti” Jones and Jamel Jordan both — like Tekashi — thought to be members of the New York Bloods.