Last month some bloke claimed that the 1938 "time traveller"
photographed with a mobile phone was his granny, and it was a
prototype portable phone made by DuPont. He claimed that the phone was
5 inches long and 3 inches wide. How could such a device be made then?
WW2 handie-talkies were 13 inches long with a 40 inch antenna.
The grandson has not shown the 1938 phone to anybody.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the
first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote
this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE
UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted
in a yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it,
and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm
sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of Kiwis laying turf across
the street.