The Setting: The Death by 1000 Papercuts Polit-O-Drome
The Announcers: Mondoreb & Little Baby Ginn
The Rules: 3-question Texas Death Debate Style

MONDOREB:Welcome to the DBKP Polit-o-drome and today’s Clinton-Gravel 1st Round Match. Once again, it’s looking like a full house for DBKP Political Cage Match action. Scalpers were only getting $290 a ticket outside the arena, though . That’s over $200 less than our last Match between the “The Mayor of Mayhem” Giuliani and “Dunkin Death” Hunter. What do make of that Ginn? “Cacklin” Clinton usually pulls a good crowd.

LITTLE BABY GINN:Well, I don’t think it’s the Clinton supporters. You know they’re going to show. But it’s a long way from Alaska to the Polit-O-Drome. Gravel won’t have the crowd behind him here today.

MONDO: Gravel’s supporters might not have much to cheer for anyway: “The Invisible Man” is a decided underdog in today’s match. Your referee today is Mayor Mikey Bloomberg of New York City. We’re almost ready to go. Any last thoughts about today’s matchup, Ginn?

GINN: Don’t count Gravel out. He’s solid and I think he’ll bother Clinton from the Left. Expect him to throw a lot from that direction today.

MONDO: OK, buckle up! We’re ready for this one to start up!

[DING! DING! DING!]

“INVISIBLE” Mike Gravel: We have to address the whole drug issue. I see no reason between marijuana and booze or alcohol, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to go to a liquor store and buy marijuana. It has recuperative powers.
Source: 2007 HRC/LOGO debate on gay issues Aug 9, 20

MONDO:Gravel starts out working high. I think that’s bothering her.
GINN: The Legal Drugs Dropkick always makes Clinton uncomfortable. She already look winded.
MONDO: Then she could be in trouble because I don’t think she’ll inhales deeply.

Hillary “CACKLIN'” Clinton:
We need diversion, like drug courts. Non-violent offenders should not be serving hard time in our prisons. They need to be diverted from our prison system. We need to make sure that we do deal with the distinction between crack and powder cocaine. And ultimately we need an attorney general and a system of justice that truly does treat people equally.
Source: 2007 Democratic Primary Debate at Howard University Jun 28, 2007

GINN: Hillary comes up lame and now she’s got Gravel in the clinches. She’s not letting go.
MONDO: She was smart to lock it up; Gravel might have gotten her against the ropes on that one. Bloomberg steps between them and breaks it up. Is Gravel smiling? What’s going on there?
GINN: He’s taunting her, Mondo! Gravel’s pointing and mocking her to try and hit him!
MONDO: He’s showing some fire–and that seems to be confusing Clinton. The small band of Gravel supporters is going nuts!

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