Unsettling, Unnerving, and Unhousing Since 1981

The Complicated Beauty of Forgiveness

Although it can be quite difficult to forgive people sometimes, it’s essential that you forgive them. You may feel that the people have done things to you and/or stated things about you that make them unworthy of forgiveness. Everyone deserves forgiveness, however. When you’re unwilling to forgive others, you hold yourself back from progressing. You will continue to carry the weight of unforgiveness around with you. Holding grudges robs you of living a life liberated from the control of others. When you fail to forgive individuals who have wronged you, you’re allowing the things they’ve done to you to control you.

When you forgive people for their errors, you make room in your life for greater things to happen in it.

(Photo credit: Celestine Chua)

Forgiving individuals does not mean you have to become friends with them and hang out with them. It means you have released yourself and them from any personal animosity, malevolent thoughts, and desires for revenge you may have harbored. This will also let the people who you’ve forgiven know that you hold nothing against them. When you forgive people, this does not mean that they will not face consequences for their wrongs. They still will experience the repercussions of their errors. At that point, what they will go through is out of your hands. You’ve done your part and that’s all that matters.

Don’t spend the rest of your life thinking about ways you’re going to get revenge on your enemies. This is a complete waste of your time. Your enemies have wasted enough of your time; therefore, don’t help them to waste more of it.

If you forgive a person for phenomena he or she has done to you, then you may discover that the act of forgiveness enables you to restore a relationship with him or her. Forgiveness can, therefore, pave the way for necessary relationships to be mended. It can also give you peace to deal with those relationships that need to end or remain severed. In no way does having a forgiving heart mean that you have to let people run over you. A forgiving heart permits you to recognize that human beings are fallible creatures needing to be forgiven because of their inability to achieve perfection.

Make an important decision to forgive everyone who has ever done you wrong. If you really want to see maximum growth in your life, visit, call or write the people you’re forgiving to inform them that you’ve forgiven them and what you’ve forgiven them for doing and/or saying. Be specific too.

We continue to have unproductive arguments and fights with one another because we’re too immature to resolve our issues through sincere and apt communication.

When you apologize to someone, don’t apologize because you got caught; apologize because you’re genuinely sorry. Faux apologizes will only exacerbate quandaries between you and others. Many people will respond positively to authentic apologies.

Today, empower yourself by forgiving someone for his or her wrongdoings.

As always you have written a phenomenal article about forgiveness. It’s very hard to do at times, especially when you’ve been wronged by those you care about the most. However, forgiving them allows for closure and growth. Love it!

Thank you very much, Charmine! Indeed, forgiving some people can be difficult. God can help us to forgive those we struggle to forgive. You are right: when we are wronged by those we care the most about, the difficulty of forgiving them dramatically intensifies. We cannot allow unforgiveness to block us from the essential growth we need, however. I very much appreciate you for reading and your excellent response.

You wrote here many right things about forgiveness, but there is one place, I absolutely not agree with you.
I will never contact the people, who did do so much bad to me, to tell them, that I forgive. NO.
I prefer to forgive myself to allow them to hurt me so much, so I can feel free to continue my life.
If I contact them, they can just go on with their studpid ways of acting and living to other people and continue to destroy other peoples life. NO, I will not do that.
Otherwise I agree with you about the important to be able to forgive.
Irene

I very much understand and respect your perspective. For me, contacting them is about empowerment and releasing the full potential and power of forgiveness into my life, their life, and the atmosphere. When we forgive people, they don’t get away with the wrongs they have done to us and others. I want those who have done wrong to me to know that they don’t control my life and I don’t harbor any negativity towards them. By doing this, I contend that we can be a needed example to some of the most troubled people. Again, I do understand and respect your perspective on this important issue.

If a friend did anything wrong to me, I would agree with you. But if you have lived a life in hell, you would not like to meet the people who brought you to live in hell again. And to forgive them and let them know, no never. Another thing is to forgive yourself for letting them hurt you so much…..
Thanks for your answer.
Irene

Great read! I have discovered forgiving people gies me peace. I’ve recently forgave someone who basically stole $1000 from me and 2013 was pure hell but once I forgave this person, it felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders…its a beautiful thing!!!

Thank you! Forgiveness allows blessings to be released into our lives. No matter how difficult it seems, we are to forgive everyone. Unforgiveness places heavy weights on our shoulders, and when we don’t feel those weights, we need reexamine our lives because their is something wrong with us.