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The truth about how to stop being rejected

Last week I went to Shakespeare in the Park in Central Park to see King Lear. On my way in, I gave the man my ticket and tilted my head around the crowd to see if I could see the stage.

I could only see a bit of the burlap and hay covered set, but as I walked up the stairs to make my way to my seat, I looked up at the trees and sky above. To my left above the stage background you could see the top of a castle. I sat down with a big smile on my face.

It was a magical moment.

I didn’t know going in that King Lear was played by John Lithgow, who was the main character on that old tv show 3rd Rock from the Sun. He was absolutely amazing. He is 68 years old and plays a man that is crazy and extremely emotional and angry. Not an easy role to play!

It was so inspiring to watch these actors play some really difficult roles under really difficult circumstances, out in the open air (planes were flying by), LIVE on stage in front of an entire audience.

There are no do overs, or edits. What you give to the stage and the audience is what you leave out there. Yet every night they get on stage and give it their all, for the audience, their fellow actors, and in honor of the role they are playing.

It takes guts.

I could relate a bit because in one of my coaching programs I was asked to play a character that was seemingly opposite of who I am, Lara Croft Tomb Raider. The exercise was to get into character and get 15 people in the room to stand up – which they could only do if they believed I was embodying Laura Croft.

Honestly it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do!

In the middle of it I literally just started crying because I had no idea how to get people to stand up. It wasn’t happening. My mentor came over and supported me, and in that moment I totally surrendered to her and asked her to lead me.

She got me into another state and I slowly had each person get up one by one. After that day my respect for actors went through the roof.

Okay, so here’s my point.

When is the last time you have done something that was that bold in your life? Something outside of your daily routine that scared you? That risked rejection?

You see, as an actor you are being rejected over and over and over again in pursuit of your dream and passion.

When it comes to LOVE, it is easy to experience rejection and want to crawl back into your shell.

It takes courage to come back out and try again at love, in trusting men, and say, “I know the man I am meant to be with exists”. {Tweet This}

Even right now in this moment, putting yourself out there probably feels a little scary, right?

So, this week’s Lovework is a challenge to do something bold.

If you see a man that you think is cute at a coffee shop, tell him how cute he is.

Smile at a man across the room signaling your interest.

Strike up a conversation with a man you like.

Write your number on the back of a napkin and give it to a man you would like to ask you out.

Text a guy asking him if he would like to take you out on a date.

Tell a man that isn’t treating you right, that you deserved to be treated better, and that you are moving on.

In the mirror, out loud, say to yourself “I love myself” (I know this seems simple – it isn’t).

These are activities that make us feel weird and uncomfortable because it is outside of our comfort zone. It is BOLD.

But the more you give yourself permission to make a fool out of yourself or take a small risk, the easier it gets to encounter rejection, and know that you can keep going.

This week, I’m taking my own advice and I’m going to tell a friend how I would like a better relationship with her and talk through why we haven’t been connecting lately. This is scary for me.

But when there is fear, that’s when you know you are on to something profound.

On the other side of that scary feeling is a lot of power and confidence.