Jay Jay I am so sorry you left us

by Gloria Villalobos
(Melvindale, Mi USA)

Your life was so difficult with the struggle of mental illness and substance abuse. Young adolescence, teen years, young adult, to middle age, you left one week after turning 43, I tried so hard to help you get help. I watched you deteriorate with the etoh and drug use. I saw you in so much emotional pain and turmoil.

There were good days when you were happy and wanting to share, but now you are gone and It has been one and a half years....they tell me to go on, get over it, guess they mean well, but I can't make sense out of the way it was. You have a beautiful son who is doing well and about to graduate. We are very close to him.

Comments for Jay Jay I am so sorry you left us

Thanks Pat. I have access to supporting friends and have found God's grace available in the low moments...............to lose a child no matter what age.......words fail........but transcends.

Jan 12, 2011

Don't Listenby: Pat

Gloria~Don't listen to anyone telling you that you have to "move on." We never fully move on from the death of a loved one. I worked for a Pediatrician group for over 10 years. We had a licensed social worker in our office. I often heard her tell patients (who lost children) there is nothing more painful in life than a mother having to remain behind after the loss of a child. That is life's greatest pain.

Anyone who has not buried a child does not understand your pain. You grieve in your own way and time. There is no time limit on your grief.I too deal with family members with etoh and substance abuse. My niece thinks that because the doctors are prescribing the pain medications for her (and she's not buying them on the streets) that she doesn't have a problem. She just turned 40 and ~SHE HAS A PROBLEM!!

My sister-in-law enables her drug use~I pray for her every night but I fear her story will be the same as Jay Jay's. I feel helpless. My sister-in-law says I'm interfering. We kid about calling the producers of Intervention but we may have to consider that. Once it's over you carry guilt and say ~ "but if I'd only done something else."

It's a difficult situation.Find good support from people who understand and grieve as long as you need to. I'm hoping for some peace for you. God's blessings to you and your family.