As you might have seen on TMZ today, part-time actress (and full-time piece of ass), Jessica Alba and her tramp stamp tattoo were photographed while bending over today. Now IÂ’m always fond of a good tramp stamp, but this one? The mind just reels.

At first I thought it was a butterfly Â– not really original and pretty much par for the course for every girl between the ages of 18-30. But upon closer inspection (strictly for research purposed, I assure you) it became apparent the tattoo in question was actually a bow.

A BOW?

Now IÂ’m no stranger to bad ideas (most of which are still a part of public record), but this puts all of mine to shame. Did she even think about the implications of the image?

Since IÂ’m sure she didnÂ’t, I better spell it out for her: Bows are what we put on gifts weÂ’re about to unwrap. Which means itÂ’s a present; something you expect someone to tear into.

Now does putting that right above your exit-only sound like a good idea now?

ThatÂ’s right, it didnÂ’t. Though I might start using the phrase Â“IÂ’m going to unwrap that assÂ” nowÂ…