I was expecting something more like "I've had 18 straight whiskies; I think that's the record" (Dylan Thomas) or "I'm ashamed of you boys. Why, they couldn't hit an elephant at this range!" (Gen. John Sedgwick).

Here's one thing to say and do before you die. Quit spreading shit out over five pages that can fit on one page. Realize it drives off readers because the first fifth isn't good enough. Do you need a diagram? Okay, goes like this. Draw a circle and label it dumbasses who spread shit out over five pages and another circle labeled nice people who don't do that. The two circles do not touch.

"Behind me is Ed and Rowdy, members of an up-and-coming sub-adult gang. They're challenging everything, including me. Goes with the territory. If I show weakness, if I retreat, I may be hurt, I may be killed. I must hold my own if I'm gonna stay within this land. For once there is weakness they will exploit it, they will take me out, they will decapitate me, they will chop me into bits and pieces. I'm dead. But so far, I persevere. Persevere."

Change it - it's not always true. Life throws us curves, and sometimes, how we recover isn't even exclusively in our hands - if we can at all.

It's cruel bordering on evil, if someone's in that situation, to insist it's not so. That they can do the impossible. You - man without legs - you can walk, damn it, you just have to believe my philosophy. And, if you can't, you didn't believe enough.

Yeah, I don't believe in so-called "societal responsibilty" - I have a responsibility for myself. That doesn't mean I don't help or care about others or I don't recognize injustice, or I won't intervene if some old lady is getting mugged. It doesn't mean I flaunt the law.

One thing it does mean though is that I never blame anyone for shit that happens in my life. It's my responsibilty to see to that shit, however bad it is, and you never hear me whining about it or saying "it's THEIR fault". Never.

What you do with your stupid ass is entirely up to you and of no concern to me. But go ahead and cry and fret til your poor heart breaks because I'm not fixing your shit for you or anyone else you think I should fix shit for and you have to do it aww by your widdle sewf!