As the French so eloquently and succinctly say, it is all about love. And flirting has long been the delightful prelude to love.

In Victorian times, no properly brought up young lady’s education was complete without instruction in the gentle art of flirting with her fan. The placement of the fan, how she wielded it – all sent signals.

“Will she or won’t she…” her suitor wondered, “dance the next quadrille with me?”

The flash of her eyes above a bit of lace and feathers could thrill the hopeful beau, or dash his hopes to pieces.

As I observed at the YMCA the other night, the gentle art of flirting is still practiced, with a few small differences. A young lady still sends signals, but instead of a fan she now uses body language. Literally. Words embroidered on her clothing send a subtle message for the discriminating suitor to interpret.

“What” her eager swain puzzles, “can be the meaning of these words emblazoned across the tiny bit of Lycra clinging to her, er, um, booty? junk in the trunk? badonkadonk?” The message printed across her nether cheeks read:

“Pinch me”

La, sir..meet me in the locker room for a quickie.

Will she or won’t she…? I’d say she probably will.

Whether speaking with a fan or a skin-tight a** covering, woman continues to whisper to man – the subtle language of love. Or not too subtle. The message was about as subtle as a sledgehammer in this particular case, but still. You get my drift.

Agreed! That might be my new favorite as well. And I applaud your daughter’s refusal to advertise on her bottom. That is a girl with a good head on her shoulders. And a good bottom on her . . . nevermind.

I am seriously considering marketing T-shirts to benefit cancer research that say Cancer Can Kiss My Ass, but I keep thinking about all the little children in the world who can read. Let’s try to spare them, shall we, people?

Actually, I think that’s a GREAT idea! I think I told you about the breast cancer fundraiser t-shirts my friends made that said, “Arghh you can take my booty, but leave me chest alone” and there was a picture of a pirate’s chest. Still one of my favorite t-shirts!

I love this comment! I truly have no complaints. If I’d worn mascara this morning, I might have, because I got all misty-eyed thinking about how grateful I am, but I didn’t . . . so it’s alllll good here! 😀

Ha Ha! Laughed out loud, Katy. I have a collection of fold fans from mydays in Japan. That was before I needed to have one with me all the time for the blasted hot flashes.
When school starts some young ladies will be wearing very tight, unbecoming clothes, some harboring the not so subtle script you outlined above. And then there’s the way too short shorts – to school!
Modesty is a principle many of our youth have no clue about.

Yes, the trouble is though, men are quite…I won’t say ‘simple’, I’ll say ‘straightforward’, they don’t always understand subtlety, so actually maybe the modern way makes more sense, the instructions are printed on the women’s clothes so the men don’t have to try and figure out what’s expected of them.

You don’t think those hearts are just…too, too much? I’ve heard that SOME people think that. I don’t see it, personally. Although I must say that Freshly Pressed rectangle now residing on YOUR fab blog has a very classic look to it.

Sigh. I miss the old days when T-shirts were the sex billboard. Such finesse! Such subtlety! Soon we won’t need to wear clothes at all. The flirt, the promotion, and the act all simultaneous. Such a time-saver!

It is a past time of mine to sit in court, waiting until my turn to call a case, and read the messages printed not only on the people’s clothing, but on their skin as well. And being as they are in a respectable court of law, of course they wear the most skin baring clothing that they own. So it allows for LOTS of reading material.

And I am with all of the above regarding the length of message that could be printed on my very own ample bottom. Probably the entire text of the Bill of Rights or Constitution. Maybe at least then, I’d get a smart man!