Growing old isn’t always funny…in fact, there is much that is downright rotten! How you handle the tough parts depends on attitude and, thankfully, Buck sees the funny side of most everything…even senile warts.

But some things just aren’t funny. Getting pneumonia on the way to Minnesota for a 75th kindergarten reunion and the subsequent week in hospital is no joke. And it is impossible to laugh at the deaths of a sister and a best friend in one week. Nor is it amusing to look down on your hometown as it vanishes into cloud knowing you will never see it again.

Worse…the death of our 54 year-old son, Mark, while on a motor bike adventure in Laos with his brother. Gus’s determination to bring his brother’s body home by bribing their way down the Mekong. Three agonizing weeks waiting for their arrival. A five-day hold-up at Australian customs. The funeral. The expectation that Mark will walk through the door and the realization he never will. The dreadful, nagging grief.

The mourning will never completely disappear but six months has diminished the agony and allowed Buck’s sense of the ridiculous to emerge. So…

BUCK’S BACK and SISSIES HAS RETURNED!

Today I made a sojourn to my new doctor. The ‘old one’ retired, along with my dentist, optometrist, podiatrist and lawyer…all in a matter of weeks. By now I should be used to such ‘retirements’ as it has already happened to me twice; once in Canada, once before in Tasmania and now again at our new village of St Helens. Life goes on and we must prepare for the glitches of ageing. This one today has been particularly trying. I suppose I should be somewhat pleased because none of the new professionals know my tired old jokes, not one knows who I am and they are all far too young for me to have taught them in some institution. With anonymity goes forgiveness of sorts.

Goodness! How young people are getting nowadays! Today it was the new doctor who appears to be hugely younger than a grandson, now grandly turning thirty. He seemed to be a nice little fellow, perhaps a bit callow, somewhat gormless it appears and apparently kind of feckless.

But that is really unfair. My new doctor was very good…in fact excellent. I am just buzzing inside with deep irritation for what he discovered. No other doctor ever did. It is just that as he looked at my bald pate he said I had…yes, he said, “You have senile warts on your head and some on your shoulders. Shall we take them off?” Immediately I panicked a bit and thought he was going to remove my head to get at the warts but, upon rapid reflection, I knew it was just the @#$%^& warts he wanted to kill.

‘Senile warts!’ Why senile? That hurts. Why not call them ‘Merry Christmas Warts’ or ‘Mother’s Love Warts’? Or even better, ‘Chocolate Warts’? To call me senile is one thing and sometimes possibly slightly true…but to call my warts ‘senile’ is one trestle too far and not very kind to warts.

People OOO! and Ahhh! when they see an eighteen month old child stumble as they walk. Why not call them ‘doddering’ or ‘wobbling’ or at the very least, ‘staggering’. But No! Those words are used for those of us who have ‘senile warts’. When a teen ager gets acne or pimples they are referred to as, ‘youth spots’ or a ‘skin condition’ or, at the very least, a ‘smudge’, a ‘speck’ or a ‘dot’. We must not hurt their youthful sensitivities as it will possibly cause deep psychological problems. Well, how about MY deep psychological problems? Who cares about Great Grand Dad’s mental health? Nobody who says I have senile warts.

So, today my ‘youthful blemishes’ on head and shoulders, were given the ‘Snow Flake’ Treatment. Snowflakes were removed from a silver flask and held to the offending imperfections. Young Whatshisname said the offending ‘growths’ will disappear in maybe a month. The real problem is who is going to last longer, me or the warts?

But, today George’s Bay and tomorrow Beerbarrel Beach! Let’s roll out the fun while we can. Senile warts…HA! Off with their heads!

A sad year by all accounts and I’m glad you are both now in a place of such beauty and depth.

I’m only a pup in your world, but still I’m a grandy and soon up for the glory of a seniors card, for whatever that entails.

So where does this life go so quickly and why do I feel somewhere between 13 and 14?

Perhaps that is my saving grace?

Perhaps my view of the world is my sanity or sometimes a curse.

It is what it is.

Keep your tales coming and thanks for sharing

Dave

Posted by Dave Groves on 30/03/12 at 07:47 AM

Sorry to hear such a sad tale. I think most of us expect that we will outlive our parents, even though they are immortal. No one expects that their children will die before they do.
You have both left a lot behind in your lives, friends, countries, countless memories of places and people. I am of the opinion that we get old because it takes a long time to work out what life is really about.
I am hoping that you two have a good handle on life by now. Sometimes the grey bits of life seem to outnumber the rainbows and sunsets. Hopefully you know where to look for the magic that hides behind the greyness.
Good luck with your recovery Buck and sorry about the Senile bit.

Posted by Pete Godfrey on 30/03/12 at 12:33 PM

I am so sorry to read about Mark. We hope Gus is okay. From distant relatives of Mark (the Morris family). I caught up with Gus several years ago when I worked for his family law solicitor. It is a very sad occasion and very hard to come to terms with it. Thinking of you all.

Posted by Ann Adams on 31/03/12 at 03:12 PM

Condolences for those sad losses, and thanks for writing about them (and all else) so beautifully. At least my doctor had the grace to call them “grandfather warts” and to apologise for even that term.

Posted by Justa Bloke on 31/03/12 at 04:37 PM

Ann…Gus lives in Na Dhang, Vietnam…he says it is his place to be…just like Gus to be a bit different…he is married to a Vietnamese woman and has two Vietnamese children…he is a hero!

Posted by Joan Emberg on 31/03/12 at 05:59 PM

I have been keeping a low profile for quite a while, not even looking at my emails very often and not checking out tastimes which used to be a daily must. Might be senility creeping in there. But I found Sissies today and now I will have to go back pages and pages to find any other Sissies I missed. It is one of my favourite things. Thank you Buck and Joan, I hope you enjoy your sea change!

Posted by Shirley Glen on 01/04/12 at 09:32 AM

So sorry to hear of your losses in recent times Buck and Joan.
You two have greatly enriched Tasmania, and these messages from the frontiers of age (how’s that for tact!) continue to do the same.

Senile warts indeed ! I guess that makes mine a demented smile! Have a wonderful time in St Helens. Tasmania is THE place to grow senior in my opinion. Beauty and calm and good fights to be fought.

Posted by Steve Biddulph on 01/04/12 at 10:19 AM

Wow, “Frontiers of Ageing!” Might change the title of the book which will come out of this. Thanks Steve. Buck

Posted by Buck and Joan Emberg on 01/04/12 at 12:36 PM

Hi Buck & Joan,
New fields and pastures green! Sorry to read of your losses.
What a challenge life must be for you with your new location. Who would have thought…..not me - you in St. Helens with a clean slate….enjoy the painting and the story telling!
Lots of love,
Joy.
P.S. I miss George so much.

Posted by JOY LAMBERT on 07/04/12 at 04:55 PM

Buck and Joan. I think of you both often. So sorry to hear of Mark’s accident and passing. I remember holding him on my knee back in Haney and reading him stories before bed when I baby sat. Please if you have a chance email me HUGS and LOVE from the BARONS and the FORSTBAUERS
Mary

Posted by Mary Forstbauer (Baron) on 09/04/12 at 04:18 PM

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