5. Betrayal

On the drive over I tried to think of how I would tell him about my feelings. I hoped desperately for an appropriate moment. I thought of all the things I wanted to say. Should I tell him out loud or show him? Maybe if I showed him he would understand better. Would that make me look like a coward though? When I had finally settled on the decision to show him, I was in his driveway.

I took a deep breath and got out of the red car Jacob had given me two weeks ago. The familiarity of his front yard was nice. I felt like I hadn't been there in ages. It made sense. After being there nearly every other day since I was a toddler, two weeks seemed like a long time. I walked up to his front door and knocked lightly. The door swung open.

"Well, hey there stranger!" Billy smiled at the sight of me. "I haven't seen you in two weeks. I was beginning to think you were dead or something." He laughed lightly at his joke.

"Yeah, I've been kind of busy lately." I frowned at the lie, but I didn't have time to give explanations to Billy. "Is Jake here?"

Billy frowned a little. "No, honey. I think he's at a bon fire on the beach, if you want to check."

"Thanks, Billy. I think I will." I smiled. He returned a nervous smile before closing the door. I turned and walked toward First Beach.

I could see a group of people down by the beach. They were all Quileute, a few teenage girls and a group of guys who looked as if they were in their twenties. Werewolves, I guessed. I searched the group for my Jacob. I couldn't see him anywhere.

"Nessie, what are you doing here?" Leah's voice startled me. She looked nervous, like I was witnessing something I shouldn't.

"I have to talk to Jake." I smiled at her despite her wary look. "Like you said, I can't hide from him forever."

"Are you sure tonight's the right time?" I didn't understand her. Last week she had been laughing at the fact that I was putting it off. Why was she suddenly so worried about my timing?

I looked past her for Jacob again. This time I saw him. He was walking up from shore. He had been swimming. Water was dripping from his black hair, hitting his chest and sliding slowly down his torso. My breath caught at the sight of him. He was drenched. I watched the water slide down his sculpted muscles. He was laughing as he walked up the beach. My heart squeezed at the sight of his bright smile. How had I never noticed how amazing he was? Everything about him called to me. He was like gravity, a force that pulled so hard I had no choice but to follow.

"Nessie? Are you listening to me?" Leah looked aggravated. I didn't even realize she had been talking. "Maybe you should think this through a little more?" She was obviously doing her best tot get rid of me. Why did I feel like she was keeping something from me? What could she be keeping from me? Then, it occurred to me. She was keeping the same from me that everyone else was. The anger I felt earlier swept back through me.

"Leah, what is imprinting?" I asked the question coldly. I knew she had to know.

She looked at me in surprise. "Um..." She didn't even know what to think of the question I'd asked. "Nessie... I-"

"I knew it." I said in disgust. "You've been keeping it from me to? I can't believe this."

"Nessie, it's not like that. It's not my place to-"

"Whatever, Leah. Get out of my way." I pushed past her looking for Jacob again. I was going to figure this out, once and for all.

"Nessie, wait!" She had tried to protect me from what was about to happen. She'd been thinking of ways to get me to leave, but I hadn't been listening. I didn't understand that she was trying to protect me.

It was too late. I stood there, stunned, my heart ripped out of my chest. I watched Jacob as he sat on a log next to a beautiful Quileute girl, whispering in her ear with a flirty grin on his face. The girl giggled and leaned back to catch Jacob's lips in a kiss. I didn't even try to hold back the tears. There was no point. My world shattered around me. I didn't even try to tell myself how ridiculous my emotions were. I knew I was probably being overly dramatic about this, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered. All I knew was that girl had her lips on Jacob. My Jacob. He belonged to me. There had never been any other way to describe our relationship. Even before I had fallen in love with him, he was mine. He had to have known that. I could feel the tears streaming down my hot face as I watched the only person I would ever love kiss another girl. I was sure that my pores were leaking with hurt and betrayal. The whole world felt dark, like a night covered in thick clouds: no sun, no moon, and no stars. They had all gone out in my world. I hadn't even noticed I'd been walking until I was standing right in front of them. The entire group was silent, all their eyes on me. Well, all of their eyes but Jacob's and his new friend, they were still kissing.

"Jacob?" My voice broke with a sob.

He looked up at me, startled. His expression changed quickly into pure pain. I was glad. I wanted him to feel pain, though it could be nothing like what I was feeling.

"Nessie, I-"

"No!" I shrieked, still sobbing. "I hate you." And tears ran from my eyes like a river.