Tag: MMA tattoos

Don’t let the “A” in MMA fool you, mixed martial arts fighters are *not* artists…at least, not in the traditional sense of the term. Look no further than the hilariously atrocious inkwork that so often adorns their bodies for proof of this. Between the non-tribal tribal arm bands, the last name tramp stamps, and the ill-advised branding attempts, MMA fighters (and their fans — see above) sport some of the worst tattoos you’ll ever see outside of a prison cell. But who has the worst tattoo of them all? The CagePotato Roundtable investigates…

Matt Horwich‘s musical pencil is like something out of a nightmare. It’s a bunch of unrelated visual signifiers held together by an inscrutable logic, and the only thing being conveyed is dread. You wake up sweating after seeing this thing, and you tell your wife, “Shit, I had that dream about my stepfather again, but this time he was a pencil,” and she looks at you, trying to feign sympathy, but the apparition simply can’t be verbalized. Words will never do it justice, because it’s so much more than just “pencil, musical notes, angry face,” it’s what the pencil represents. That goddamned abusive drunk piece of shit, who hated himself because he couldn’t write songs like Neil Diamond, so he took it out on you and your mom. That face. You could put it on a cantaloupe, a hammer, the front of a steamboat, and it would still be him.

Look, I get it, Matt Horwich is eccentric. His concept of reality is not the same as yours. I’m trying to avoid judgment here, but I just can’t relate to the sort of mind that would put this on his body. It’s awful. A worn-down pencil with a ragged eraser. A face devoid of most human characteristics. And three notes — whole note, half note, quarter note! — flying upwards. It’s not a singing pencil. It’s a scowling pencil with musical notation ejecting from the end that is responsible for deletion, not creation. It’s a contradiction, and it’s unsettling. The pencil seems to be straining to get these notes out, and for what? To express that the artistic process is torture? Does the pencil wish it was a violin instead? Does Matt Horwich even remember getting this tattoo, or did it just kind of appear one day? You’re seeing it too, right? The pencil with the face? I’m not crazy, am I?

In case you haven’t been following this story, here’s the basic outline: On Saturday, the World Series of Fighting 11 NBC broadcast included a prelim bout between local Florida fighter Dustin Holyko and Neiman Gracie; Holyko lost by second-round submission. After noticing his unfortunate tattoos, BloodyElbow’s Brent Brookhouse did some digging and learned that Holyko had been arrested for everything from domestic battery (three times!) to animal cruelty, and is currently on probation for an “escape” charge in 2012, according to the Florida Department of Corrections.

Apparently, World Series of Fighting knew none of this before they booked Holyko, who was hired sight-unseen, without any sort of background check. After the controversy went public, WSOF immediately cut ties with the fighter, and released the following statement to Sherdog:

“Honestly, we were not aware of Dustin Holyko’s criminal record or any potentially offensive tattoos prior to him competing at WSOF 11. He was licensed by the Florida commission prior to the fight, and it was his third professional fight under their jurisdiction. That said, with the information that has since come to light, we immediately elected to terminate our relationship with Mr. Holyko.”

Sherdog adds that Holyko had been charged with 16 criminal offenses in total, according to public records, and that he’d been arrested as recently as April 23rd due to a probation violation. But of course, none of those arrests are Holyko’s fault — and neither are the offensive tattoos. Here are some quotes from a new MMAJunkie interview with Holyko, which paints the fighter as a standup guy who you’d be happy to bring home to mom…

There’s a lot of space to cover on that arm, and we’d love to see how you’d fill it. Using Photoshop, MS Paint, or a printer and actual crayons, please draw a new tattoo for Alan onto the image and send the resulting work to BG at bgoldstein@defymedia.com.

A week from today, we’ll pick our three favorites who will win…well, we’re not sure yet. Maybe some CagePotato shirts if we still have some left. Maybe just some shout-outs on Twitter. Maybe nothing. That’s what makes this contest “unofficial.” Take it or leave it. Good luck everybody, and follow Masato Toys on Facebook right here.

We here at CagePotato.com are a cynical bunch, so naturally, our first instincts upon seeing this Ronda Rousey tattoo were to mock it relentlessly. But upon further review, perhaps this isn’t the single worst fan tattoo since some jaggoff got a tattoo of Arianny the Big-headed T-Rex. Hell, it may be subtle enough to be the single greatest fan tattoo of all time. For example:

- That whole face thing the tattoo has going on? Clearly a tribute to Rousey vs. Tate II, which, judging by the nasty hematoma under Rousey’s eye, this guy believes will end via knockout.

- See how the body of Rousey the woman creature in this tattoo is fat, lacks anything resembling muscles, and has a boob job that was probably done at Wal K-Mart? That’s because only men have big, ugly muscles, so if you’re enjoying a hand bra from a creature with muscles, then you’re fantasizing about a dude.

According to our poll, a staggering 55.3% of you believed that former TUF star and current Bellator badass War Machine had the hottest pornstar girlfriend of them all in Ms. Christy Mack (to the 2 people who suggested “our mom,” that doesn’t even make sense. To the man/woman who suggested GSP & Dakota Cochrane, bravo.). Clearly, Mr. Machine agrees with this sentiment, which is why he and his significant other got coordinating tattoos over the weekend. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned about a pornstar’s love, it’s that it’s forever.

Look, we appreciate this guy’s passion. And sure, we’ve seen worse MMA-fan tattoos. I’m just saying, think of how this ink-piece might appear to the vast majority of humanity who isn’t aware of Nick Diaz’s legendary gogoplata victory over Takanori Gomi at PRIDE 33. To them, it just looks like one dude in shorts blowing another dude on his back, and it’s right there on your chest, forever. Wouldn’t a cool t-shirt have been a wiser choice? At least that way you can take it off when you discover someone else to idolize in five years.

Have I just grown too cynical? Is this Nick Diaz tattoo not the most regrettable thing you’ve seen all week?

(Seven pounds over, and dropping his shorts just in case. Positivity’s a great thing, James, but sometimes you have to meet it halfway. Props: mmanewspl)

Just two weeks after it was announced that he blew a steroid test back in California, cursed UFC veteran James Irvin was back in action last night in the main event of KSW 15 in Warsaw. And if you thought this would a redemptive performance for the Sandman, then buddy, you don’t know James Irvin. The bout was held at a catchweight after Irvin came in juuuuuust a bit heavy for his scheduled middleweight title fight against Mamed Khalidov. His initial weigh-in tipped the scales at 197 pounds — 12 over the limit — but after four hours in the sauna, Irvin managed to get down to 192, and the match went on at a catchweight — with the middleweight belt still on the line, for some reason.

Anyway, the numbers don’t really matter. Khalidov opened the bout with a spinning back kick (as he tends to do), then dropped to his back when it didn’t connect. Irvin dived on for some ground-and-pound, and was immediately caught in an armbar. The fight was over in 33 seconds. On the bright side, Irvin didn’t leave the fight badly injured, as we assumed he would. Hopefully that’s the last time that Irvin accepts a fight at middleweight…on short notice…overseas…against a really tough opponent…when he has a drug suspension hanging over his head.

(Considering the mostly-negative response to our “MMAshed Potato” host candidates, we figured we’d bring in a professional. Excellent use of the green-screen, buddy. /// Update: Having problems with the embed at the moment…click the image to watch the video.)

Franklin lost the fight by unanimous decision, and we quickly forgot about this silly business — except Franklin didn’t. An MMAFighting report came out Friday claiming that Ace had actually visited a tattoo shop to honor the bet that nobody thought was real. Responding to the news, Griffin said: