Everyone knows a “Tim Tebow”
Friday, Sep 9 2011

Look at this dude. Take a good hard look at this dude. This here is a very skilled, driven young man with good values. No one can deny that or take that away from this young rich gentleman.

That being said…this dude is a complete toolbag fuckface who is incredibly easy to hate on regardless of his philanthropic contributions to this world we all live in. I think he saved Darfur or some shit, but that doesn’t change the fact that he could probably fuck chicks like Jessica Simpson and Erin Andrews but instead gets with girls who most likely look like Ice Box from the Little Giants. He went to the University of Florida….FLORIDA! And he still failed to be a sweet dude and have any sort of swag whatsoever.

Now that we all know what a lame type of dude he is, here comes the worst part:

There are Tim Tebow’s everywhere!! Lets officially establish the criteria these men fit under:

They are big, built dudes with dark , spiked hair in the front and generally good looking

They wear some lame ass necklace that an orphon or little cousin or someshit made for them

They date girls who are not hott at all

They do not smoke weed

You don’t even want to be around them when you are blazed (andy…whatup)

They are very religious

They will come out with you and your friends, act like he is having fun, but is judging you and will prayer for you once he gets home sober, unless that fucker has like two drinks and he gets buzzed and acts like a nine year old.

85% of them still have their v-cards.

I went to Wisconsin, and there are many people from there I love and will be close with for the rest of my life, but the fine state of Wisconsin produces many Tim Tebows a year. Any student or alumni who went to Wisconsin who has any real swag at all knows that they have had a discussion with one of these douchebags before. Initially you think that they could be sweet but once they open their mouths, you know that you got a real Tim Tebow on your hands. It is a damn mother fucking shame.

A recent poll shows that 20% of potentially sweet dudes born in rural Midwest turn into “Tim Tebows” and out of that 20%, 90 % of them are Tim Tebows by the age of 6.

Let the following picture speak for itself:

Yes, she does indeed have big hogans, but this dude could be doing waaaay better. And I will bet $100000 that he is waiting for marriage to have intercourse. I’m ending on that note. Any takers on that bet contact Alex Pattis, co-creator of zomehomepage.com.