I'm dating a "guy's guy".

He's a contractor. Builds homes. Loves cars, sports, BBQing. We've been together six months now. I'm not femme at all, but he actually intimidates me a bit. I sometimes wonder if he thinks I'm his wife. And I sort of am. And I sort of like it. Yikes. Never thought I'd say that.
It's so sexy to see him in his backyard working on his car. He just takes care of everything. I've never dated a guy like this before. It's like a science experiment sometimes. He just doesn't think like most gay men.

[quote]I'm not femme at all
Every facet of your post indicates otherwise.

MARY!

See%2C%20you%20turned%20your%20head.%20You%20ARE%20femme%21

Does he buy you pretty things, OP?

Haha. I'm actually not femme at all. Perhaps I write femme. I've just never dated such a "guy" before, never really wanted to. But now that I have one, it's pretty cool. Not only is he a wonderful man, he's quite handy to have around.
I do more of the buying of pretty things, R3. I make a lot more money.

OP

He sounds great. If he exists, that is.

Chaz?

Happy for you, OP.
How did you meet?

R7, we actually met at a coffee shop. He was chatting with an old friend of mine who happened to be there. I went over to say hello to my old friend, we were introduced, and it was an instant connection. Been inseparable ever since.
Yes, he's real.

How old is he? I'm just curious.

He's 44.

This thread is useless without pics OP.

he sounds like a ten to me, I hate the high-maintainance girly guys who flounce around these days. I'll take him if you have any doubts, OP

No way, R12. I'm not fucking this up.

The OP was probably wearing a Cindy Brady curly pigtailed wig all askew when she met her beloved top.
Sounds like a match made in heaven...

OMG, not another slew of pointless derivative threads.
Let the bitchery continue.

OP, you convinced no one that you are "not femme at all." A guy who is not femme at all would not be in wonder of what you described because they would be accustomed to being around guys who doing average guy things. The things you describe are not abnormal for males, including many, many bisexual and gay men. Do you not hang around masculine men, and if not, why not a guy who is "not femme at all" find this remarkable? Of course, there is nothing wrong with being a femme guy, but your disavowal of being femme is very suspect in light of how you presented this story.

Isn't every gay man a "guy's guy" ?

so dish on the sex, OP.

R16, I have no interest whatsoever in trying to convince you that I'm masculine. Feel free to assume I'm not. And I love femme guys. Some of my favorite people are femme. I just felt I needed that disclaimer, though maybe that was a mistake. Part of what's so intriguing about this relationship is that I wasn't looking for some He-Man.
I'm 33 and have been around gay men since I was 19. The vast majority don't have similar interests or affects that my bf has. I don't know why. I'm not judging it one way or the other. I've had LTR with men who weren't like my bf at all and they were great in their own ways.
I just find myself really enjoying what my bf brings to our relationship, and felt like expressing it on the DL.

[quote]And I love femme guys. Some of my favorite people are femme.
I love black people. Some of my best friends are black.

but%2C%20really%2C%20I%27m%20a%20racist%20asshole

"I'm not femme at all."
I believe you, since apparently you are a guy's guy's guy.

Okay DL. I've been here since 2004. Have at me. I should have known this would happen. Yes, I hate femme guys. *rolls eyes*

Masculine, my ass. OP says they met in a coffee shop and he was "chatting with a friend". No masculine guy says "chatting". MARY

Playing along is another DL tradition, R24.

Good for you OP. I'm happy you've found the love of your life. Your post is inspiring and gives hope to others that aren't there yet.
Hugs.

I agree with R41.

Of course he's a guy's guy. We all have been at some point.

A number of years ago I found myself in the same boat. I am usually the top and a bit more dominate in the relationships. Met a guy my age and we connected immediately. He was, in many cases the least gay man I have ever been with (aside from the assfucking and cocksucking thing). within a few months, I became the less dominate and more of a homemaker type and I liked it. I took care of the laundry, cooking, and cleaning (in addition to my job) and he did his mechanic job (worked on those massive trucks in you see in quarries), the cars, and anything needing repair around the house (my house).
He was completely disconnect from the gay community and language. You could say MARY to him and he would look around for her. In bed, dear god I've never met someone so...... agile and highly aggressive. When he said cum, your cock obeyed. I'm not talking slapping or role playing. When he said get on your fucking knees now, you dropped immediately.
The only man who would kiss me while fucking me and looking directly at me and aggressively hold onto my hair, and with a low growl, pounding away, tell me to "shut the fuck up and fucking take it". Hands free orgasms were the norm. Alas, he moved away and now I'm again the more "dominate" in my current relationhsip, but he did teach me a few tricks I'm using on my current boyfriend.
Odd how we sometimes adjust roles in relationships. Never had a hand free before or since.

MARY!

R44, you two broke up because he moved? I'm curious, not being snarky, but why weren't you able to move as well, or was the relationship just one that neither of you were committed to for the long term?
The ex-bf sounds dreamy man. Nice descriptions of sex. Dayum. I love seeing or having a hands free cum shot.

OP, I'm happy for you. No snarkiness here. My partner is a carpenter and I was not accustomed to the masculinity either and it's pretty sexy, isn't it?
To be fair, though, my guy is masculine on the surface (how he looks, dresses, his work, his hands, his capability to fix anything so unlike me), but he's very sweet and soft, so I guess he's really a mixture.
And it's funny how different people slide us into different roles. I've never really cooked for guys before. I fuss over my bf and make him dinner every night. I feel like such a housewife and I like it (even though I'm also the breadwinner).

Gee, all gay guys aren't the same! I never knew that.

LOL R46.
If they can't spell it, they can't be it!

R48, I don't mean to be rude. I know we come in all sorts of personalities and packages. It's just not my dominant experience to be involved with a masculine guy. I'm usually the more aggressive, and I'm not all that masc.

then stop pretending you've made the discovery of the century.

Personally, I'd love to be in a relationship with a guy who can fix cars. Especially if he does it with his shirt off.

I dress like a girl for him. It makes him feel straight.

I see the g0y/bro troll is now trying a new tactic.

R44, it's "dominant" dammit, not dominate (which is a verb).
This mistake is becoming very common lately and I don't understand why. Just look at the word and pronounce it, for God's sake.

OP has money. The partner is ruff trade.

[quote]him in his backyard working on his car.
deal breaker

R55, the people who get it wrong ARE pronouncing it. The problem is they pronounce dominant like this "dom uh nit", so they are spelling it phonetically. Spell-check won't catch it since it's the correct spelling for a similar word. Bugs me too. Not much we can do about it except to put more funding into education.
R51, okay. I suppose you're right. Except it was a pleasant discovery in MY life. All we really know is what we're exposed to.

OP forgot to begin his story with. "Dear Penthouse..."

"A number of years ago..."
1963

lol

It's actually a big role reversal. Throughout this thread, femme is associated with money.

Good point. That is the case with me. My masculine guy is broke, but sexy as hell.

Is he an Especially Sexy Top, OP?

R45, my career and life was not in Texas. Though he did not say it, I knew he could not "be in love" with a man. Sex yes, but a real committed loving relationship, doubt it. As much as I hated to see the awesome sex leave, it ran its course.
R46, R55 You're right. Sorry, but I was sucking an 8 inch cock and was too distracted. I'll try and do better next time (assuming I'm not being plowed by said same cock)
R60 That's funny. 2007, but close

MARY!

Good for you

I hate to say this but it is saturday night after all.
This is going to sound crude, but...
Sex for us is getting my hole slammed in by him, calls me names, chokes me, pulls my hair, spits in my mouth then cums in my ass or on my face. Gets up with his cock still dripping, puts on his jeans, his shirt and then leaves. Then I don't hear from again until 3 am the next night or later with a simple text that reads 'douche your hole, I'm coming'.

OP

OP, you must live a sheltered life wherein you only hang around a certain type of gay guy. There are plenty of masculine mainstream gay/bi guys. Perhaps, they aren't exactly hanging in big city gay ghettos, but they are out there in large numbers but integrated into mainstream America living pretty unnoticeable lives. Your narrow experience with gay men should not be used to make sweeping pronouncements about the masculinity of most gay or bi men. Expand your horizons.

Who works on a car in the backyard?

It almost sounds like a guy I would be interested in, I want a man who is masculine, but also incredibly intelligent. I want a masculine protective boyfriend, but I'm a top. So he'd have to be submissive in the bedroom. Strange?

He sounds just like Bret Easton Ellis, OP!

Does he fuck you a lot and slap you around when you get out of order, or when there are no more beers in the fridge ... send him over here.

This will sound sad but hes like Dean Winchester from Supernatural, not Jensen Ackles but the character he plays. All I'll say is have fun, enjoy the amazing sex and don't over analyse.

krys%20naicker

^Dean Winchester is a bottom.

calls me names, chokes me, pulls my hair, spits in my mouth
Uh? that is a positive? That is some scary stuff and pretty sick. Where is the love and romance? whatever,
Do gay tops protect their bottom boyfriends? If some guy attacks your boyfriend, would you sock the guy in the face or get into a fight defending your submissive bottom boyfriends? You know,like straight guys do if some creep says or does something that is harmful against his wife or girlfriend?

R75, I'm with you. To each his own, of course. I'm the other person with the masculine boyfriend, but mine is loving and much more vanilla. I always used to find guys who'd degrade me. I tired of that. I love my intense, sweet vanilla.

I spent many years dating guys who were more like me.. Sort of quiet, love reading and watching tv, acted more "straight"--whatever that means--and ultimately they all went south. I always had to be the extrovert. For the last three years,I've been with a guy who is fun and uninhibited, is always energetic and wanting to get out and do something, and I guess he would be the more "femme" of the two of us.
I have discovered that I like being the more introverted one in a relationship. We went to a party last night and I let him work the room while I sat back. I've also lost 40 lbs since we've been dating, AND I realize now how much I enjoy being a top when someone wants it so bad. I could fuck him five times a day if I wanted to. Last night I was ready to leave the party but he was still holding court with a gaggle of women (they all love him). I walked up behind him and whispered "I' need to fuck you right now."
Within 10 minutes we were home and on the patio with him riding my cock.