REAL, in a fake world

I have recently become a big fan of poetry. Atticus poetry is one of my favorites. it is short, simple, and straight to the point. I came across this quote today and it hit me how rare it is to meet a real person. now, we are all “real” but it takes a person secure in Jesus to be truly real. this problem of being real is for everyone, but it is specifically a problem for girls; teenage girls to be exact.

as a girl going through middle and high school you feel tremendous amounts of pressure. you feel like you have to be the smartest, most athletic, most beautiful girl in your grade or even high school. we have this idea of being “normal”. I have always been confused on what normal is. so, I asked dictionary.com and this is the answer I received: adj. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. when reading this definition one part really caught my eye, “conforming to the standard”. we are changing ourselves to try and fit in, in hopes to be loved or adored. Romans 12:2 specifically says “do not conform to the patterns of this world”. to be “normal” we would have to look at others and see what they are doing and try and act like them. now that is a lot of stress! trying to keep up with trends, friends, and school… why not be yourself? I know it is scary to be yourself because you are afraid that you may end up being judged or made fun of, but I promise you will feel so much better & free. we cannot change ourselves to try and make others want to be your friend or to make someone want to be your boyfriend.

I was once in a relationship where I felt judged and used. I felt like anytime I would try and be myself he would make fun of me and he would be upset with me. I wanted nothing more than to make him happy (as I tend to want to make everyone in the world happy, but that is not even logical and I have learned that). when we try to please someone without being ourselves but trying to be what others think you should be, everyone around you can see you are not yourself. I hated to make him upset so I would do almost anything to make him happy. when our relationship ended, I looked in the mirror and did not know who I had become. I was trying to be “normal” instead of being myself. I was afraid that if I was myself he wasn’t going to like me anymore and so I tried to be perfect for him. (which there is no such thing as perfect, especially in a relationship.) after this I really did some soul searching. who am I? who does God say I am? what do I love? what makes me happy? I realized that being myself makes me happy. I realized that I cannot let what others think about me control my actions.

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

-proverbs 31:30

at that point I made a decision that I was going to try my hardest to become a proverbs 31 woman. I do not want my beauty to be just outward, I want my true beauty to shine from the inside. I need to fear the Lord and all else will fade. it is hard to try and be yourself in a world where so many people are trying to be “cool” or “normal”, but trust me it is so worth it. when you finally let go of your pride of trying to be “cool” it lifts a whole weight off your shoulders. being yourself is 100 times more beautiful than trying to be perfect for someone else.