April 5, 2010

I hope you had a fantabulous weekend. I surely did! This week's Modern Manners Monday quandary comes from a fellow TBS reader. Take a pass at her situation and let her know what you think!

I went to a going away/camp-out with one of my co-workers/friends this past weekend. We socialize outside of the office pretty regularly and get along great. I've met her husband only once before and he was also coming to this event. I should let you know that I don't camp but they do. He had an extra sleeping bag, and we'd all 3 share a tent (which was said to hold 10 people). It was going to be a big cookout including cocktails, so the fact that we were all sleeping in one huge tent for a few hours after we drank a lot wouldn't be that huge of a deal.

Much to my chagrin, my co-worker/friend's husband was making passes toward me the whole night. He was grabbing my waist and making come-ons to me every time my friend/his wife went away. I told him to stop, but he kept doing it. It also should be noted that I have zero attraction towards him, even at first sight. Furthermore, his actions made him even more repulsive. At the end of the night, we all went to the tent, but my friend slept on one side of the tent... which left him in the middle. So I slept as far to the other side of the tent as possible, but when I woke up, his arm was on my stomach. Then when we were all sober, he kept being hands-y every time she looked away. During the whole night, he'd do a little bit of it in front of her (come up behind me and grab my waist.. things that I would never want my husband to ever do to any girl). It makes me feel so creeped out and I don't want to ever hang out with him.

20 comments:

I would immediately break away from the couple. You can be friendly with her from a distance. This is a disaster waiting to happen. I'm sure that this is not the first time that he has flirted with her friends and I am sure that your friend/co-worker is aware of at least some of his behavior. The fact that she allowed her husband to sleep beside you was creepy. As an adult, common sense should have told her otherwise.

Ick. Poor woman married to that beast. However, I think socializing, drinking and communal sleeping is sort of an taboo combo anyway. Ick #2. It's something you should add to your never-to-do-again list. Personally, I would culitvate new freinds but if you are committed to contine socializing with this woman, make sure you steer clear of her repulsive husband and forgo the camping from here on in.

Sadly, I think I would distance myself from the co-worker. Not in an abrupt way, but slowly and surely. I would be friendly & cordial, but find a way to decline any future invitations! Easier said than done maybe, but you can't put yourself through this awkward situation again. If she doesn't know it yet, soon enough she'll get the goods on the bum!

First, I would have given him the complete and total ice queen treatment. Then I would have told him in no uncertain terms not to ever get anywhere within five feet of me for the rest of his life. Second, I would decline any future invitations where the husband might be present. I'd probably also start putting distance between me and my co-worker.

I have to say, though...why would anyone accept an invitation to sleep in a tent with a married couple? That's just creepy in my book.

I wouldn't have agreed to sleep in the same tent as the married couple in the first place.

And I agree with other commenters who've said that it'd be best to not socialize with this couple anymore. IF the wife asks why, I'd tell her in as tactful way as possible that her husband makes me uncomfortable, but I wouldn't volunteer that unless confronted.

#2 Tell his wife and cut all ties. You don't need the drama, but she deserves to know (even if she doesn't have the reaction you'd expect).Be kind and if that doesn't work... be blunt. You have nothing to lose except the company of people who make you feel uncomfortable.

I would no longer be friends with this couple. I might have even taken my sleeping bag outside the tent, a little crazy I know. Who puts the husband in the middle, I thought that was strange? I agree with everyone above. But do you tell the wife what he was doing or let it go? If he was trying to put the move her before drinking started she should have left and gotten a hotel room.

I don't think I would have gotten drunk either, not in that kind of situation.

To be honest, I don't think I would have felt comfortable sleeping through the night with him right there. I would have packed up and went home....if that was possible. I think she should just cut all ties, as others have suggested.

I would stay away from this couple. I would only hang out with her only if her husband isn't there. She doesn't know her well enough to have that "your husband tried to come on to me" talk, and even when you know someone well enough you can NEVER really have that talk! Stay away!

No more get togethers with just them. I think she was a little crazy to let him sleep in the middle of you two.If this is someone who's home you plan on visiting often, you might want to tell her about her husband's advances soon so she can know how to handle your get togethers and your akwardness when you say no to her invitations.

Thanks ya'll for all your help! I'm definitely not hanging out with them again! I don't camp, ever.. and prob won't again until I get my own gear. It was such a creepy situation, and I'm never putting myself anywhere near something like that again. My coworker hasn't said anything to me, but also I'm distancing myself from her.. so maybe she takes the hint.