I can’t tell you how often I have heard that phrase. At my speaking engagements I frequently have people tell me how much they wish they hadn’t had to learn some key relationship lessons the hard way—through the pain and loss of a break-up or by struggling in an unhappy marriage.

My passion (in case you haven’t noticed!) is to share my research findings and insights so that these key relationship lessons can be learned “in time,” to help prevent broken and unhappy marriages. And beyond that, to help people not just survive but thrive in their relationships!

Some of these relationship lessons are simple yet powerful. Here’s one particularly deadly but easily-missed trap that could be present in your marriage right now:

Never think your husband shouldn’t be hurt by something that wouldn’t hurt you.

That sounds so mundane. But it’s one of the most common, sneaky reasons marriages fail.

So how can you recognize this trap? What might it look like in the everyday life of your marriage?