Having Sex in Public Was Kinda Disappointing [Sexy Time]

Jasmine R.

I was totally brainwashed into thinking having sex in public would be the most amazing thing ever. I mean, it’s one of those things that you read about all the time, promoted as a great way to spice up your sex life, a guaranteed thrill, a fun story to add to your arsenal. I’ve had sex in various un-private places and while none of them were especially bad, they definitely were great. I’ve gotten it on inside public places, outside, during the day, at night…so I think I’ve done it enough times to write it off as an overrated sex activity.

First of all, having sex outside of a bed is really uncomfortable for me. Maybe I’m spoiled/high-maintenance/unadventurous, but seriously, why would I want to trade a perfect mattress with sheets and a comforter at my disposal to the grass (kind of itchy), the benches in a gym locker room (ugh), a quasi-flimsy chair on a balcony, or an outside alcove (bleh, weird positions). Call me a diva, but the sheer uncomfortableness was such a turn-off. If I were a dude, it would’ve been a total boner-killer. Then there’s that whole “prospect of getting caught” thing. I know, that’s part of the excitement, but I’m a pretty fiercely private person, so I should’ve known I wouldn’t be into the idea of someone seeing me in a vulnerable position. I had a couple of close calls that gave me a shiver of dread instead of a tingle of joy. Most importantly, it just wasn’t fun. Maybe it’s just because I wasn’t into it, but it felt like a chore. Sex should evoke a lot of feelings, but it should never feel like an obligation, especially one on par with doing the laundry or vacuuming.

Which is all to say, I guess I just don’t have the personality for public sex. And that’s totally okay. Not everything is going to be a turn-on for everyone. We all have our own preferences and positive triggers and things that we’re not into. It’s good to experiment, test your boundaries, and do things outside of your comfort zone, especially if you’re with someone you trust. Even if the result is lackluster, it doesn’t necessarily have to be something regrettable. To be totally cliche, if you learn something about yourself via doing something, it’s always worth it. We’re hit with a barrage of sex tips which leads to feeling some low-key pressure to step up your sex game, but it’s not like if you’re into more traditional sex that you’re failing at being sexual or whatever. Your body, your mode of orgasm. Whether you’re like me and require a mattress and a closed door or if you’re cool with doing it in every possible nook and crevice, have fun and be safe.