About Feelings stored deep beneath the heart – A blog by Tejasvita Singh

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Month: April 2015

We never know at what point of life we get inspired and any stranger can charge us with the zest and zeal which sometimes we fail to carry with us.

Something as such happened to me last Saturday morning. I am thankful to my friend who invited me to have the glimpses of a small shoot which he was carrying out with his team at a place close to my residence. At the shooting location I met this lady, she was the female protagonist of the ad-film. I believe she must be above sixty, just a little guess from the wrinkled skin and grey hair otherwise the enthusiasm and energy was no less than the curiosity of a small kid. I don’t know but in her presence I could feel the positivity in the air. Some strange calmness and satisfaction I could read on her face, and may god continue to shower upon her all his blessings.

I asked her for how long is she into this? And she said she was into Govt. service for a long time but continued with acting in parallel platform.

And rest she continued herself watching my curiosity.

“Daughter, You know, what these boys are doing, at this age of life this should be only done. They are doing full justice to their young energy; this time will never come back. I did lots and lots of work, I don’t know how I managed then? Two kids, family, service and then acting, but I never said No to work! Never. Whenever anybody offered me any effective assignment, I accepted it and automatically I was able to manage the time for the schedule in my twenty four hours. Oh! What a life! It is so wonderful and blessed.”

Radiance of her face was speaking of the proud she possessed by adding correct rhythm to her life.

And her only mantra is that she never said no to work. Acting is her passion so she never denied any offer due to hectic schedule and domestic responsibilities. She got the same twenty four hours a day which we all share but she is successful to drive its utility because it is her belief that work offered to her can’t be left incomplete.

That satisfaction and smile, I think we all aim to have the same one. In search of the same satisfaction we drive towards every known and unknown path of life and try to figure out our happiness. But she taught me that the moment we start feeling the vibration of every single second of life and start enjoying it instead of escaping from it, we can get the same smile and radiant face.

We come across amazing motivational personalities almost daily through various means, but for me this little interaction with her was special. Sometimes in the pre-calculated mechanics of life the grip over its musical beats starts missing and then suddenly we come across someone who teaches us once again to dance on the rhythm of life and enjoy as many aspects of it. Moreover, we are living creatures created by God not machines designed by us.

This was suffocating for her, so many things to do in life but not enough time to devote. She wasn’t dying, but her situation was even worse, she wasn’t living.

Seriously, the day she was selected for this position, she had no clue about the transformations that were ready to pull her out from herself. She never denied hard work and responsibilities, but this new role was making her mechanical. When she looked around her and almost everyone was feeling the same. When she became the part of this organization she was happy, so happy to get associated with a globally renowned organization. Her dreams began to take shape; she began to enjoy every bit of her self-independence, but not for long. Soon, she started realizing that she was losing her original charm, and very soon she would stop recognizing herself if she didn’t step out of her cubicle. There was nothing wrong in her job, but she wasn’t meant to do that. She was surrounded by countless people who were on the same boat, but some were enjoying the ride by choice, some were learning to, since they had no choice, and those of the third kind were shouting at the top of their pitch, but still paddling. She hated the fact that she was in the third category.

It was neither the work that was draining her nor the peer pressure, but something else. It was the failure of her innocent heart to understand the people in the complexity of the empire that had imprisoned her and disconnection with her own soul. Her’s was free soul, one that couldn’t be chained.

Nobody could be blamed for this, it was her own choice. If only she had discovered herself earlier! Her craving to write something, urge to paint every beautiful thing she came across, and restlessness to spend few hours of her day with herself. All of it started to fade away, and she could very easily feel that disconnection with God. To write, to paint, and that solitude, all were perhaps the medium for her to be attached to her God. She realized that money, materialistic pleasures were the things she rejoiced, but not her necessity. The job that she was doing, even though she was good at it, but never been able to accept it with open heart inspite of every possible self-effort. That perhaps was the mistake she made, to conclude that being good at what you do underlines your passion for it. But no, such isn’t the case. She was tired of chasing just money and materialistic pleasures like people around her were. She decided to shield away from this addiction before it engulfs her and cut down the voice of her conscience forever.

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Several years have passed, she is now working as an Associate Lecturer with a nationwide famous University. She is enjoying every bit of her job. Finally! It was reading, earning knowledge and then sharing knowledge, that she always urged for. These days she is working hard, very hard to satisfy the queries of her students, to answer the questions of intellectuals she meets in global seminars and conferences that she visits all over the world .But she never feels drained out, even for a moment, that blood sucking numbness as she felt in her past. She found her way and the fear of being lost in the crowd finally vanished.

Sometimes, due to immaturity or whatsoever reason we frame up that money, fame, power, popularity etc. are the only means that are supposed to bring happiness in our lives. And of course they do bring to some people, but we blindly run in the same line without sparing a moment to connect with ourselves and listen to its voice. Every human being is different right from the birth whether it is physical appearance or the inner reflection, then how can our goals be the same. In the pursuit of life, the idea is to discover that gifted trait , and then nurture it throughout our life. Let the illusions of glamour not snatch away the charm that defines us.