I feel like giving a fuck about being alpha or beta is itself beta. Why care? Just do what you want to do.

PacSan300 133

In general, I find the terms "alpha" or "beta" to be pretentious, and utter PUA bollocks.

Here4thebeer3232 73

It's that entire manosphere corner of the site. They conveniently ignore that the creator of the alpha/beta wolf idea recanted it after being proven false.

Tha_Prince_Ali 20

To be fair that dynamic does exist in primate populations. Notably Gorillas (duh) and Chimpanzees/Bonobos. Bonobos are interesting because they have an alpha matriarch rather than a patriarch.

Wolves operate in family units so the lead roles naturall fall to the parents, ehichbis what that guy mistook for a male and female alpha.

Here4thebeer3232 51

I still think it's a bad idea to try to use animal social behaviour to explain human ones. Like, I wouldnt look to praying mantis sex for advice to spice up my sex life

bikebum 10

Human behavior is more complex for sure, however you can learn a lot about group dynamics because we have common evolutionary roots, and therefore our brains and bodies react in similar ways to stimuli.

non-squitr 8

Right? I mean none of the behavior we see in the animals that we’ve developed from is replicated in humans. Doesn’t apply at all

celocanth13 0

Wait, you mean lobsters aren't a good role model for human society?

Here4thebeer3232 0

Nah, lobsters are fine. We have a lot to learn from our crustacean brothers

Bignig5000 8

The chimps alpha male isn’t similar to the human depiction of an alpha male. In people, “alpha males” (which there is no evidence for) are depicted as the brolic douchebags, but in chimps the alpha males are just the most empathetic, quite the opposite of human “alpha males”

hegel_g_pataki 1

Wanna be alpha? Groom your mate for ticks

Bignig5000 1

This guy fucks^

eliechallita 1

Not quite: Chimps have dominant males, but it isn't as simple as "strongest, meanest douchebag rules the troop".

In many cases a weaker and older male might remain the alpha because the rest of the troop would refuse to follow a younger and stronger challenger, especially if the former had been shown to be an empathetic and successful leader.

In other cases, a young male will defeat the previous leader but will themselves rely on another older male to be the power behind the throne and handle the internal politics, while the young male is a glorified enforcer.

bikebum 0

It's over simplified, but there's definitely a spectrum of social status that people use to size each other up. It's pretty evident anytime you have a bunch of peers around, like at a party. You see who groups together, who is listened to more or less. It's something most people are aware of.

P__Squared 16

I've never heard anyone use those terms in a non-sarcastic or tongue-in-cheek way. Does anyone in the real world actually take that stuff seriously?

Ragnrok 13

Guys who actively talk about trying to be all alpha are like bigfoot. Everyone knows a guy who knows a guy who's seen one, but I know I've never seen one myself. Just Facebook screenshots reposted to Reddit.

Vaztes 2

Eddie Hall, world strongest man of 2017 used it seriously in the documentary "born strong" on netflix.

Great fucking documentary though.

QuincyPigboy 8

It is the most beta thing possible

pajamakitten 4

It's even been found that wolves don't have the alpha/beta social structure we thought they did.

Daztur 2

Yup, they live in families. The alpha/beta stuff was a bunch of strange wolves being stuck together in captivity and fighting a lot. So basically wolf prison gangs.

jamers89000 3

If "being alpha" is really a thing, being concerned about it in one way or another is not it.

PrickBrigade 239

The absolutely pathetic self-defeatist attitudes on display here in nearly every post. I can't even be bothered to mock them any more.

SerPuissance 117

This. There is so little positivity and a whole lot of self indulgent whining and negative self talk. All the jokes about how you don't have an SO play into why you don't have an SO. Stop joking about it, get serious, sort yourself out and burn off the crust of shit that's coating your values and attitudes. You can all do it, you're smart enough to type and form coherent thoughts - that means you're eminently qualified to find love, sex and belonging. Congrats!

TheBigThrowaway11 -15

I mean is it really that shocking? I'd argue that these attitudes that you see on here aren't self defeatist, they're realist.

I'd say at least a slight majority of people on here who complain about not being able to get laid, over 25, will never in their life get laid. They will without ever dating or having sex.

This simply isn't true. I can point you to 101 lolcows from kiwifarms that will literally never date no matter how much effort they put in because they're so socially retarded. Yet they can still type and generally express coherent thoughts.

These people exist and they're everywhere. And they come onto this subreddit and start complaining.

And then people who assume they're normal (and most people who complain about this stuff are so far from fucking normal they can never get back) will tell them to stop complaining and do XYZ (muh shower, muh gym) without realizing their basically talking with a retarded person.

And then when that retarded person continues to complain that it didn't work people just yell at them and say shit like

Stop joking about it, get serious, sort yourself out and burn off the crust of shit that's coating your values and attitudes

instead of just going "that sucks bro"

SerPuissance 17

so socially retarded

That's the part that needs to be sorted out, and sure it's harder for them than someone who was born with the capacity to pick up social graces intuitively (I wasn't either,) but it is possible. I literally just addressed this in a comment on another thread. Showers and gyms come way down the line, as I explained.

Is it fair that in the pursuit of "romantic wealth," these people are equivalent to being born in a favella? No of course not. But there are paths to get out, if you're open to giving them a shot.

Sure, if they're certain it's not possible then I can accept that and commiserate, but don't expect me not to take issue with shitty things they say about women or just general bullshit they say. Being hopeless isn't carte blanche to be an asshole.

TheBigThrowaway11 -5

sure it's harder for them than someone who was born with the capacity to pick up social graces, but it is possible

No that's not what I mean. I meant they're actually retarded. In the classical sense of the word.

As in a disability. As in a developmental disability like moderate-severe autism. As in they could qualify for SSDI if they wanted to even if they don't realize it. They will never get 'better'.

Sure, if they're certain it's not possible then I can accept that and commiserate

Right and I'm saying for the vast majority of people on this subreddit that complains about not getting dates that pretty well encompasses them. A lot of people like to pretend lolcows and retards are a rare occurrence online, because of the assumption they cannot express coherent thought through text, but that's simply not true. They're fucking everywhere and I would say encompass the majority of people we're talking about.

but don't expect me not to take issue with shitty things they say about women or just general bullshit they say.

Right we can agree on that.

SerPuissance 17

I don't share your view of how many of our whiny posters have autism with high assistance needs, and I don't think either of us can prove it one way or the other, but other than that's fair enough. My impression is simply that the people who are not neurotypical are vastly outnumbered by men who are just young and spend too much time being shut inside, not socialising face to face and experiencing women only through titty streamers and porn - and that's their problem. But again, I can't prove that.

TheBigThrowaway11 7

Yeah I guess neither of us can prove it either way. It's just been my experience if you go through the post history of those complaining there are, usually, very obviously very very very deep unfix-able mental and social developmental problems that almost certainly fall under the autism spectrum.

But I haven't made a dataset or anything so like neither of us can really prove anything...

GunzGoPew 13

will tell them to stop complaining and do XYZ (muh shower, muh gym)

Yeah because telling people to wash their ass and lift a few weights is a bad thing.

Not to mention how stupid and self defeating everything else you said is, WASH YOUR ASS.

TheBigThrowaway11 -2

Yeah because telling people to wash their ass and lift a few weights is a bad thing.

I mean it is when it's advice you hear every day multiple times a day.

Not to mention how stupid and self defeating everything else you said is, WASH YOUR ASS.

Literally none of what I said was self defeating. Some people just refuse to accept the reality that

Lolcows exist and

They can't be helped

GunzGoPew 18

I don't know what the fuck a "lolcow" is but it sounds like some extremely online thing.

Turn your computer off, put your phone in a drawer and go talk to people at a bar or something. Jesus Christ.

TheBigThrowaway11 3

Turn your computer off, put your phone in a drawer

I'm not talking about me am I? And this advice will not help the people asking for advice. They're mostly legitimately retarded.

Them going out and 'talking to people at the bar' will get a reaction of "Please get the fuck away from me or I'll call the police".

A lolcow is another word for someone whose an autist/retard on a high level of autism. Christain Westin Chandler is an example.

GunzGoPew 7

I'm not talking about me am I?

Glancing at your post history, yeah, you probably are.

TheBigThrowaway11 0

Okay but you're still dodging the point that the majority of these people are completely fucked because of who they are as people. They just suck. That's why they don't date and come on here and ask for advice. And no amount of showering is going to make them more tolerable to be around, much less date.

GunzGoPew 5

I mean you can work on yourself as a person.

And there's no reason to make every thread on here full of pathetic guys crying because nobody will date them when they haven't showed in a week and never actually speak to women.

waitingroomssuck 2

You sound like a Jordan Peterson jackoff tho

old_gold_mountain 6

I mean it is when it's advice you hear every day multiple times a day.

Maybe there's a reason you hear the same advice over and over again.

ToastyNathan 4

and the people who are just getting unlucky? the people who do shower and put themselves out there? What do you say to them when they have been turned down abnormal amounts?

old_gold_mountain 2

If someone keeps hearing this advice it's probably because they haven't actually tried it yet.

ToastyNathan 2

or its just something people say because they dont know what else to say?

old_gold_mountain 0

Nope.

If you're out of shape, the way to fix it is exercise and eat healthier.

If you're not regularly clean, the way to fix it is to shower regularly.

If your clothes are out of style and/or dirty, the way to fix it is to get new, better clothes.

If your hairstyle looks bad, the way to fix it is to go get a nice haircut.

These are simple problems with simple solutions.

Literally the only reason someone will have these problems on an ongoing basis is if they have not actually committed to the solutions, because the solutions work 100% of the time when you actually commit to them.

StrideHudson 1

I say, please don’t shoot anyone Mr Toasty. Maybe go to a sweet brothel in Amsterdam, or a dank whore house in Thailand. Get some jizz down range pal.✌️

ToastyNathan 0

If i didnt have the notion that I would be supporting sex trafficing, I would. But I also dont want to shoot anyone. I just want some sympathy for once after being rejected and trying to make myself better. looks like yall dont want to help someone who is hurting because he wasnt able to get something so easy for the rest of you.

TheBigThrowaway11 4

The reason you hear the same advice over and over again is because the reason the person isn't dating is unique to them and cannot be discerned in an hour conversation online.

So instead of putting in the legwork (and nobody should have to put in that legwork to be clear) of understanding why the person can't actually get dates it's much easier to just give generic advice and feel liek "I helped!"

It's the same thing with posting the suicide hotline, it doesn't actually help from what I've read online but it does make the person feel like they did something.

old_gold_mountain 0

If the person in question is not physically fit and has bad hygiene, then I assure you that'd absolutely be a significant impediment to them finding dating success.

Sure, there could also be other things. But fitness and hygiene are a good place to start because the solutions to those things are completely obvious.

TheBigThrowaway11 5

Sure, there could also be other things

Right.

And this is why "Shower and work out" is completely worthless advice.

Literally everyone knows this. The reason these people don't date is almost entirely social. You can be the world's most attractive man in the world, and to be clear even if these people become fucking huge manbeasts they'll still be at very best average, they still have the problem of being literally retarded. Nobody wants to be around a sperg/lolcow for any extended length of time no matter how attractive they are.

old_gold_mountain -1

And this is why "Shower and work out" is completely worthless advice.

Nope. Because fitness and hygiene are a huge factor in how appealing someone is on the dating scene, so if the person in question has issues with fitness and hygiene, then they absolutely need to solve those issues in addition to addressing whatever other issues they might have. And that means working out and showering are important next steps.

The reason these people don't date is almost entirely social.

Bullshit. If someone's out of shape and smells bad, no amount of social prowess will make dating easy for them. First impressions are huge.

Its_Your_Father 13

99% of the time, in my experience, people who claim they're "just being realistic/pragmatic" are being needlessly pessimistic. I've yet to hear someone being actually realist who claims they are being realist.

BigDickEnergy123 6

It does suck, but you just want someone to wallow in your pity with you.

Also girls (people) don't want to be with someone who's so god damn negative and complains all the fucking time.

If you hate it, change it. If you can't, shut up and accept it.

TheBigThrowaway11 4

It does suck, but you just want someone to wallow in your pity with you.

Yes when people complain online that is the explicit goal. People will give useless advice anyway but if anyone just wants to vent "ah shit sucks"

You'll have a million and one people telling the person "No no shit doesn't suck! You just need to try harder".

BigDickEnergy123 1

Yep. And it fucking sucks. I agree with you.

Here's the thing though. Everyone goes through shit in their life and they don't wanna hear you complain about your shit.

If you want to talk about it with someone find a therapist.

TheBigThrowaway11 1

If you wanna get rid of all bitching online you've just eliminated like...50% of content. And the other 50% is porn.

BigDickEnergy123 0

God damn, stop with negative outlook on life my dude.

churnchurnchurning 1

It's called having standards that are too high.

HighwindMark2 4

When you make a statement like that maybe have an example of what their standards should be. Is it fatties and divorced mothers they should want?

I stutter sometimes. It can ruin my chances because others think it's anxiety.

Anxiety is on the rise with millenials too.

StrideHudson 1

Hey bud anyone can shoot for the stars, near the horizon.

TheBigThrowaway11 -1

Are you serious?

I'm going to keep bringing this man up to prove a point:

Christian Weston Chandler can have literally no standards at all and he will never get a date. Despite trying more than you have in your entire life it will literally never happen.

It has nothing to do with 'standards' and everything to do with that these people are so bottom of the fucking barrel of autism, retardation, and attractiveness that nobody anywhere would be willing to date them or interact with them.

Sir_Slurpsalot 61

I thought this place was askmen, but it turned out to be ask14yearoldboys. I mean the mods fit the description

MiatasAreForGirls 89

I'll be 15 in February tyvm

SAIUN666 14

wanna play fork knife?

MiatasAreForGirls 5

Yeet

SAIUN666 1

Sounds like Ligma to me.

MiatasAreForGirls 3

Not falling for that

dabs

MajesticBeardsman 2

Sounds like Ligma~ lumbago to me.

Is_This_Invalid 1

excuse me it's "wumbago" as in wumbagoligy, the study of wumba.

OmGvGiNyXXX69 1

I can't help you on account of my Lumbago, friend.

JorisK 1

Yeet is actually the Sugandese word for yes

qxangelxp 13

hey bby, <3 u
(legal in my country.)

Sir_Slurpsalot 0

Like a 6'0 guy standing around a bunch of 5'11s feeling good about himself

You guys mocking and making assumptions here aren't any better. Some of us come here for genuine advice hoping to improve ourselves, get nothing but generic bull and insults.

n00b_f00 36

Everyday I read posts on here I see forever alone bullshit getting upvoted. Not "Oh man life sucks sometimes, I'm bummed because things aren't going my way," it's "Life's bullshit, women suck, the system is rigged against us regular guys, and if you give me advice I'll fight you to the death."

Stoner_sandwich 7

Let's be realistic here, most of the "advice" given to forever alone guys om askmen is just crap. The amount of times I've been told to "just shower and go out" as if I'm some filthy cave troll with no life...

n00b_f00 3

Maybe you aren't. But most of the people who are on reddit and never held a girl's hand before don't follow any of the generic advice. They dress like shit, they're unfit, they don't interact with women or have meaningful social circles. They just work, go home, and engage exclusively in activities that would preclude them from meeting nearby women.

inevitablelizard 1

Hate that as well. Right up there with "just be confident", "fake it till you make it (by far the worst one) and "get some hobbies". Generic crap "advice" that's not actually helpful but seems to be the standard response to any relationship advice thread.

It's the dating equivalent of "just cheer up if you have depression". It just isn't that simple.

bye_felipe 3

It's the same posts day in and day out. There's only so much advice that can be given if people aren't willing to actually accept their weakness and faults and try to better themselves. Instead, they want society (and women) to accept them as they are. I mean, that's cute and all...but if it's not working for you, time to change your attitude and approach.

UrMumsMyPassword -3

We tried being open and understanding but it turns out having sympathy for people is hard so we reverted back to shitting on them instead. Sure this might’ve been one of the few places they felt comfortable venting or talking about their problems but that’s on them for being such massive failures. Only 110% turbochads who don’t even know the meaning of adversity are allowed to post here now.

Plus you have to consider most of us have a crazed lunatic holding a gun to our heads, forcing us to read the posts that we’d rather not be reading. Simply skipping over stuff we’re not interested in just isn’t an option.

Stoner_sandwich 6

I mean there are some real lost causes here and there, guys that wallow in self pity like pigs in mud, but that's the minority.

UrMumsMyPassword 2

They definitely exist but I think anyone who focuses on them is a massive idiot considering how easy it is to tune them out.

RampagingKoala 30

It's getting really hard to read threads because inevitably half of the comments will be something along the lines of "it's so hard to be a man right now" and "why is society against men and how do you deal with it personally i deal with it by being a huge douchecanoe to all women that'll learn 'em". i used to enjoy mocking too but now i just roll my eyes, downvote, and keep scrolling.

Lithuim 27

You have to put on sad violin music to browse this sub these days, every post is about crippling anxiety or devastating social ineptitude or chronic depression or the shitty end of a bad relationship.

Or dicks.

Cheer up boys. And keep your hands out of your pockets.

Stoner_sandwich 6

It ain't that simple, its never that simple. Cheerimlng up comes at the end of a long journey , can take months or years.

Wait for December to pass by. We're in the middle of Christmas season and Thanksgiving season just passed. This is the time of year when tons of people are doing stuff with family, friends, and loved ones. I'd love to see the tone of threads here at the same time in previous years, because I bet a lot of it's just dudes venting. We'll probably see another uptick around Valentines' Day but after that we should be golden till next November.

umar4812 5

Cheer up boys

Wow, you did it. You solved sadness, depression, social issues, and anxiety for men.

Maybe I am misreading your statement, but I feel like many people are just venting, especially since (at least in the northern hemisphere) this is the season where people need company the most. I'd cut them some slack, you don't have to participate in those threads. I also don't feel like "internet tough love" will do much to those truly "lost causes" they'll just find a new soapbox and keep on truckin.

5tanislav 10

Maybe because ya know, some of us were bullied to the point where self esteem doesn't even exist in our vocabulary.

The advice given to people that mock themselves is such bullshit it's laughable at best and an absolute "pulled out of my ass and tapped my shoulder because I think I did something good" at worst.

Do you really think we pity ourselves because we are lazy? Jesus christ, your ego smells worse than dog shit if you think so. Because in all honesty, this is just world fallacy. If you think someone is bad in any shape or form because he doesn't get what he should get after bettering himself over years if not decades and improving himself with all the sodding bullshit advice that is fed to him, maybe it's because your mentality is so optimistic and stupid, you should look at yourself in the mirror instead of pointing fingers at people who are already at their lowest.

Why do you think depressed people are sick of having that stupid suicide Hotline pushed around like it will solve ANYTHING.

Bloody hell, downvote me if you want, but realistically seen you know EXACTLY that this is true and some stupid - 1 will not change it.

JAMurida 1

I somewhat agree with this. Some of the post that are like that I enjoy since there's legit discussions about certain issues and it's interesting to talk about stuff. Problem though is when you see 21546342345542 different versions of the same type of post again and again then it gets old fast. To be fair though, that's essentially Reddit in a nutshell.

jacksonbarrett 1

I’m about to unsub from here because this place is filled with total pussies.

HighwindMark2 1

So I read this and I thought about after, and you are right.

​

I also realized that in your replies, the subsequent whining about whiners are just as bad in this thread. Instead of name calling, whining and reverse whining, telling each other to "man up" its better to talk about why things are the way they are. To not do so is just a lazy way to solve problems.

dras333 0

Every place is about the "whoa is me" attitude and I'm so sad all the time posts. It feels like every where you turn someone is whining about something and as soon as you question it, you are insensitive about depression. Which in itself is bullshit because I highly doubt depressed people, at least those I know that legitimately suffer, are posting about it on Reddit, Imgur, FB, etc...

The other side of that coin, men whose "advice" boils down to a simple "I did X and got Y, therefore anyone else who does X will also get Y".

X and Y may be completely unrelated, or it may not work for everyone for a variety of reasons. But boy do people get upset when you try suggesting that their "advice" may not be all that helpful.

LEIFey 6

Fair point.

JesusListensToSlayer 6

Hoo boy. I definitely agree, but I want to extrapolate a bit.

Hardly anyone is qualified to "solve" the personal issues that are raised here. How could they be, given the amount of information we have?

Usually, there is zero fact-finding before OP is flooded with a regurgitation of the usual answers. Imagine if OP was flooded with questions instead? People might get a real picture of OP and his particular struggle. The answers might be more tailored to his situation and temperament.

I wish we would all resist the urge to narrow problems into a few categories and round people up to a few types. I know it's out of style to suggest anyone is a Special Snowflake, but people are fundamentally complicated. It's disrespectful to ourselves and to others not to acknowledge that.

BVRTennis 2

Blanket advice can also reinforce people’s opinions when they’re using a good thing as a crutch.

JPBooBoo 2

"All you have to do is think of a good idea, create a business, and work hard" heh heh

c0ldroom 5

Adding on to this because it literally just happened - when you point out something as a correction in means of advice and they snap back at you.

Fair, they didn't ask for it. But when someone calls you out for something that blatantly looks wrong, it's worth listening to, instead of getting on the defensive.

People will either be nice, firm, or horrible - but it's essential to be able to take any form of criticism well at any given time.

IMakSikker1280 4

So basically any of those TV shows like Kitchen Nightmares etc. They all fail cause they never properly accept the help.

LEIFey 1

Haha exactly. Though that’s part of the appeal of that show. People like seeing smart alecs get shown up.

muzlightyear 1

I kinda have this problem. I can't accept help, but I also never ask for it. Even when i really need it.

Baconinvader 1

me_irl

OxidadoGuillermez 134

Overly aggro men annoy me. Nobody likes that. Maybe it played pretty well at 4am when you were 22 and had 9 beers, but in your 30's it's just embarrassing.

Valon129 1

Yep for sure

NoOneYoudKnowOf 0

This.

Ihateregistering6 132

This is by no means limited to men, but people using "anxiety" as an excuse for basically anything.

There are people out there who do genuinely have mental health issues related to anxiety, but so many people nowadays use "I have anxiety" as an excuse to basically be lazy and/or cowards.

"I can't talk to girls because I have anxiety"

"I can't call people out when they do bad things because I have anxiety"

"I can't do well on tests because I have anxiety"

They've basically taken stuff that makes literally every person on the planet nervous (taking tests, confronting people, flirting with the opposite sex, etc.) and proclaiming that they are incapable of doing it because they've self-diagnosed themselves with an issue.

rapiertwit 45

Yes and no. Everyone feels anxiety at times, but if you've been coddled too much, you may not have developed the ability to push through it. The same level of anxiety can be crippling to one person and merely an annoyance to another, depending on how much practice they've had with confronting anxiety.

365Blistering 17

So shouldnt they be expected to practice then?

rapiertwit 4

Yes they should. More to the point, they should practise whether they feel it is expected of them or not.

SirNedKingOfGila -5

Why do you care what other men do about their problems?

JesusListensToSlayer 2

This is a good point. We don't always know which flaws we have control over. I think people too-quickly assume that certain flaws are immutable traits, so they don't try to work through them.

Edit: Your username isn't to do with Yurtle the Turtle, is it?

rapiertwit 3

No, it's an old joke to do with philosophers. Google "turtles all the way down joke" and you'll find it.

JesusListensToSlayer 1

Oh. Ha...I am revealed to be a philistine!

DontSqueegeeMe 17

This is by no means limited to men, but people using "anxiety" as an excuse for basically anything.

I totally admit that this may be bias on my part, but I notice that a lot more from women. "I have depression/anxiety" seems to be the standard intro for posters on askwomen and twox.

Ihateregistering6 18

That's entirely possible, though I think r/askwomen is a pretty bad sample to take from.

We're talking about a subreddit that will lock questions like "What are attractive qualities you look for in a man?" because it's not inclusive to Lesbians, so I'm sure it's chock full of people who have zero social skills and then blame it all on "anxiety".

lankypiano 1

Holy shit I fucking hate how every god damn question posted on that sub is always followed by the auto-mod message about gender inclusivity.

Well fuck it, it's not askwomen any-fucking-more, is it? Call it asksjw or some shit.

Somali_Imhotep 0

They lock those questions cuz it is a common repost

yeetmedaddy2018 8

Aye theres a difference between being anxious (emotion) and having anxiety (clinically affirmed disorder) same with feeling depressed and having depression. People never seem to understand the difference.

plateishot 7

If not self-diagnosed depression/anxiety its self-diagnosed ptsd.

DontSqueegeeMe 5

Or Aspergers.

People who fall in love with applying those labels to themselves need to be told to shut up, stop acting like snowflakes and put a bit more effort into being a likeable person.

takethatjump 14

I'm guessing you've seen the latest south park but if not, you should. The whole episode is basically just what you said.

gwords16 5

I have a close friend like that and it kills me. She’s not dumb at all but when it comes to school or jobs, she nopes right out because of her anxiety. My aunt has a friend whose son does the same thing. No learning disability or anything like that. Just won’t work because of his anxiety. Yet both of them can sit at home watching Netflix or play video games all day. But jobs make them anxious. Unfortunately doctors make it worse and prescribe drugs to anyone for it.

lankypiano 7

Anxiety is very much a real thing and is often more of a symptom of other deep-seated things in their life that need to be sorted out. Anxiety from social pressure/situations like a job or workplace are very, very real, and it's not unusual for said people to find solace in the isolated or controlled environments of home or video games.

It doesn't mean they shouldn't seek help for it, but they should be treated as someone ailing from a form of disease, because that's very much what it is.

I highly recommend doing some genuine reading on the topic of mental health, not just buzz wordy articles that the Reddit hivemind may drum-out that either prove or deny your own bias.

Iblivion 1

This is relatable. I have a job in my field of study, but I’m honestly not sure how long it will last because of my anxiety. I avoid talking to my boss and pretty much everyone else there besides the people I absolutely have to work with. Video games are like my safe haven, and I know it’s bad, but it sucks being stressed the fuck out over being too nervous to tell your boss you’re going out for lunch, so I use games to wind down. Like how am I supposed to get over anxiety in romantic and friendships when I can’t even handle it at work, shopping for clothes, and other menial, normal tasks? Shit sucks

pajamakitten 5

I have been diagnosed with GAD by a professional, that doesn't mean I have to let it be and do nothing to make myself better. You can have anxiety or depression without making it a core part of who you are.

Aarxnw 3

Just get a Buddha box

Micosilver 2

The wisdom is in knowing what is true anxiety and what is just fear.

Our world makes it too easy to run away from everything that is remotely scary.

People stop answering phones because they are afraid of live interactions.

Bad_Wulph 1

I have frightening panic attacks because I have anxiety.

bringintheapocalypse 0

But what if they actually do have anxiety

Ihateregistering6 1

There are people out there who do genuinely have mental health issues related to anxiety,

bringintheapocalypse 1

So should I not use my anxiety as an excuse even if I really have anxiety?

Nanoboiz 104

When they say they’re “alpha” or identify themselves as that. Such bs term that means jackshit and only people using it are insecure fucks. Real “alphas” are too busy winning at life to even care whether they’re “alpha” or not.

Where do people meet all these archetypes on the internet I always wonder; I never encounter all these disaster people in real life.

eliechallita 5

I had the displeasure of working with one: Classic tech sales bro, in his 50s, who unironically called himself an alpha male, bragged about how many women he slept with, and routinely called Obama a "gun-grabbing muslim traitor".

Thankfully he got fired within months for sheer incompetence, but for the life of me I'll never understand how he got hired in the first place.

neuk_mijn_oogkas 1

Actually I just realized that in my native culture "alpha" basically means "humanities" and "beta" means "STEM"; it's just a random school classification.

So all the beta people have a (well-deserved) superiority complex over the alphas and unironically are like "ahaha, you're an alpha? loser, get a brain that's worth more."

So I assume that has something to do with why no one does it.

RAGC_91 1

High school mostly

neuk_mijn_oogkas 2

I didn't see them there either.

BVRTennis 7

I always find it ironic though how some people that are considered to be ‘alpha’ can have serious issues. Its easy to find examples of people who have been extremely succesful who are definitely not well adjusted. Like the succesful pro athlete who shows little ability to get laid other than by being a pro athlete and coercing someone.

SnatchDeads 7

I have only had one friend unironically say he was "the alpha of the group".
Unemployed, no drivers license, never had a girlfriend, can't even talk to girls (and when he does pushes them away by being a creep), never takes initiative, never tries in anything, etc etc..

Anybody who unironically uses those terms are projecting.

Nanoboiz 3

That literally sounds like the stereotype guy that uses the term deliberately.

PmMeYourSexyShoulder 7

My rule is. If someone really has to say they are______, they usually are the furthest thing from it.

pdv190 3

One of those "if you want it, you can't have it" things. Like philosopher's stone in the mirror in Harry Potter.

MasRemlap 83

The 'player' attitude makes me fucking cringe. People bragging about cheating on their girlfriends, mentioning girls' asses in public for 'banter', generally just not respecting their other half. It doesn't make you look cool or funny it just makes you look like a cunt. I don't know how someone can tell their partner they love them then do things like this, it's just weird.

HeelSteamboat 27

Hmm... Based on my experience living in 3 US cities (2 major cities) in the last 5 years, I'd say that, even among former frat bros, the scale of this attitude is severely overstated.

With the advent of IG and OLD, I'd say, based on my experience, more women have this attitude now than men.

P__Squared 6

Hmm... Based on my experience living in 3 US cities (2 major cities) in the last 5 years, I'd say that, even among former frat bros, the scale of this attitude is severely overstated.

I agree. People who act like that get ostracized pretty quickly.

MasRemlap 1

That sounds good, I live in the UK

Smartless 17

On the flip side of this point, I get so annoyed with guys who act like this mentality is pervasive among men.

Like, dude, you need to get better friends if you see this kind of thing "everywhere". I can count on one hand the number of "players" I've seen in the last few years. Not even the guys I know can point to many instances of when they've seen it in real life.

I see way more men who are quick to malign other men, than I see men who are like this.

Guys! Y'all are fucking decent! Stop talking shit about each other and go and keep being decent!

I see way more men who are quick to align other men, than I see men who are like this.

bikebum 5

Yeah I can't think of a single guy I know who is like this. I do however know of quite a few girls who are like female players, whatever that is called.

Neodymie 2

mentioning girls' asses in public for 'banter'

I had a friend that would just for whatever reason have to point every nice [female part] he sees. Finally I'm just like dude, yes, that girl has an amazing ass, I saw it, every fucking guy in a 2 mile radius saw it. You're not some world renowned ass spotter we bring along because none of us can find them. Shut the fuck up.

PhisherPrice -7

Don't hate the player. Hate the game.

KingEsoteric 79

Lonely ass dudes with more belly rolls than sense that kissed one girl to date talking shit about a chick that's like 15 pounds overweight. Shut up.

ASCEofficial 70

I hate this whole „Girls allways go for the douchbags“ talk. No they don‘t. Maybe you are not as nice as you think you are mate. Just get your shit together and you will find the right girl. Stop looking for some stupid excuses why you can‘t be happy when the only person who is responsible for your happiness is you.

HeyyyKoolAid 40

The problem with that "girls like douchebag/bad boys" statement is that it's not really the guy that they like. People ignore that it's the fact that guy is forward and confident enough to act on his intentions without remorse or regards. People like confidence. Period. If you're a shy and awkward man or woman who can't make eye contact or decent conversation, don't expect people to be instantly attracted to you. And it's always painfully obvious that the person who makes this type of statement doesn't have the back bone to assert himself or herself when it comes to dating.

Rangomeow 14

Confidence =/= being suave and a great conversationist.
People do like confidence, but people who are good at reading the mood and suave/charming have a much easier time projecting that, even if they're just faking it. You can be confident but simply not good at talking. But if you're a secure, confident person you're 100% more likely to actually keep a relationship going than if you're insecure. No matter how suave/charming you are.

Confidence =/= being suave and a great conversationist.
People do like confidence, but people who are good at reading the mood and suave/charming have a much easier time projecting that, even if they're just faking it. You can be confident but simply not good at talking. But if you're a secure, confident person you're 100% more likely to actually keep a relationship going than if you're insecure. Not matter how suave/charming you are.

WoollyMuffler 11

Nice guys don't finish last, boring guys do.

-GroovyChick- 5

Maybe you are not as nice as you think you are mate.

This! Nice guys sub is a goldmine btw.

Eng_man7 1

some girls absolutely do. It's just that confidence and douchbaggery often look the same from the outside.

Your point still stands 100% though.

totalwpierdol 1

I feel like the most attractive type of personality is an assertive one and this is what girls actually prefer.

However, since there's so few actually assertive people out there, girls are forced to choose between cocky douchebags and dismissive pussies. The former are the lesser evil and that's why girls choose them, not because they prefer douchebags

anonymousse100 45

thinking being a bellend is funny

SlickNickles 26

Sorry, what exactly is bellend? Never heard the term before.

Testiculese 26

Smacked-ass, jackass, and/or obnoxious moron.

-serious- 11

Its a penis. Because bellends are shaped like penises.

anonymousse100 7

basically it’s like the head of a penis

umar4812 2

Bell end = dickhead

JimmyOTEL 1

Its the bell shaped bit at the end of your dick

8BitSpooky 1

A dick head so to speak. Everyone here seems to be overcomplicating it.

fingerpaintswithpoop 1

British slang for dick, used like Americans say jackass.

Nauticaldoge 4

Worst thing is when they do something shitty and try to pass it off as banter. Wankers

fingerpaintswithpoop 1

“Just a joke bro, don’t take it so serious lol.”

I blame those so-called “prankster” videos on YouTube.

Whappingtime 35

The "woe as me" crap. I have known so many guys around my age (20's) that have that bullshit mentality.Along with the crab bucket mentality makes them really insufferable to be around. You cannot do much without them feeling bad. The smallest of success from the people around them would bring them down.

lankypiano 1

Craaaaaab people craaaaaaaab people

Walk like crab, look like people.

DontSqueegeeMe -6

The "woe as me" crap. I have known so many guys around my age (20's) that have that bullshit mentality.

Yup. By many objective standards there has never been a better time to be alive. This notion that millennials are such victims who were screwed out of everything by past generations is pure bullshit.

MackMizzo 32

Being ashamed of masculinity and real self-confidence. Having a dependent personality.

pdv190 12

Ashamed of real self-confidence? Doesn't compute..

lankypiano -2

Probably referring to the nu-male attitude. The "Male Feminist" BS.

Shepsus 28

I dislike the hidden homophobia lots of fathers have toward their kids. Like, they seem perfectly fine with other gays/lesbians, but when it comes to their kid, its unacceptable. And I don't get why.

bigsquarecircle 26

Maybe it's less being disapproving of them dating men/women and more having built up the idea in their heads that they'd marry someone of the opposite gender and for some reason not being able to come to terms with it? Maybe the idea of being biological grandparents.

Can't say I'd know tbh

Shepsus 3

Yeah, I'm not sure. I don't have any kids, so its difficult to relate, but I don't believe I'd care one bit.

neuk_mijn_oogkas 12

Because people internalize their children and see them as an extension of their own identity. People in general seem to find it important their children do certain things they can't give a rats arse about if anyone else they know does it.

Add that to the fact that a lot of people who are completely fine with others being gay are absolutely uncomfortable with the idea of being perceived as gay themselves so their children fall into that.

bikebum 4

Well I'd like some grand-kids one day...

Shepsus 3

Adopting is always a thing, and have another kid and roll the dice.

GundalfNP 1

Well, I wouldn't want my kid to be homosexual, he wouldn't have any kids if it was the case.

Shepsus 2

But does it matter? What if he doesn't want kids? What if he wants to adopt? Like, I don't understand why you have a preference over "healthy baby"

GundalfNP 3

Genes, doesn't matter how much you're gonna love an adopted baby, it still won't be like your own.

Also, gay marriage is illegal in my country, and so is adopting.

Shepsus 1

Ah, I can see how that is difficult.

rightwingthrowaway5 27

Liberal feminist men whining about the patriarchy and virtue signaling their status as so called allies.

Those are not men, they're boys who have a dark view that female companionship is transactional if they voice "support" for feminist causes.

GunzGoPew 23

Wait, what? So because I support women having equal rights I'm not actually a real man?

Tha_Prince_Ali 31

There’s this new talking point right-wingers on the internet are pushing, where if you support any women’s issues it’s because you’re either a rapist or trying to get laid.

GunzGoPew 16

lmao, they're projecting again as usual.

umar4812 0

Big difference between doing those and going IM A FEMINIST. No need to declare yourself as some feminist to believe those ideas.

HeelSteamboat 15

Lost count of the assumptions you made to come up with that conclusion... nice one.

GunzGoPew 10

It was 1? I read what this right wing ass clown posted and reacted to it.

Smartless 9

Do you think you could find a more charitable way to rephrase his argument, or do you think that is what he meant?

bikebum 4

I feel like this comment will lead to a productive conversation...

GunzGoPew 9

There’s no productive conversations with far right dickheads.

OrangesAreOrangeHa 3

I didn't agree with your interpretation of the original comment but I understood your point and respected it. And then, just like that, you blew it with this comment.

So dismissive. So extreme.

Don't even bother responding to me because I won't read it. Or respond and know I won't read it. I don't care.

GunzGoPew 3

Snowflakes are easily triggered.

bikebum 2

Sure there is. You don't have to agree to learn from and understand a person's views, no matter where in the political spectrum.

7stringsbetterthan6 4

First commenter didn't post a "view", it was an outright false statement.

bikebum 2

Lol... statements like that can't be true or false as there is no way to verify it, it's obviously an opinion

7stringsbetterthan6 -1

An opinion is presented in any shape or form of "I think..." or "I believe...". The first commenter stated things as if they were facts.

Read the 2nd paragraph.

bikebum 2

Those words are not needed for it to be an opinion: Pizza is gross.

How would you verify if what they are saying is true or false?

7stringsbetterthan6 -1

Alright, lets not play dumb here. He's clearly expressing his statement as if it's a fact and not an opinion. This isn't even to be discussed.

Alright lets not play dumb or hop into another topic. He's clearly expressing it as a fact and not an opinion. This isn't even to be discussed.

umar4812 1

Most people do. But there is a sffrremcr between doing those, and being the sort of guy that goes, "us men are just so incompetent, and I support women as they're far superior.". Sounds a bit like a strawman, but it's not in common.

5tanislav 0

Did you know you can support equal rights without wearing vagina hats and screaming from the top of your lungs about nonexistent problems?

Shit man, the possibilities are endless, I know.

dinosaurs_and_sluts -2

Yup, that's basically what he said.

He'll claim it's not, but it is.

Don't worry about it, though. Cause like, he's a dumb bitch. So, what he says about you doesn't really matter.

pyr666 -2

So because I support women having equal rights I'm not actually a real man?

no, no. he said feminist

GunzGoPew 9

tips fedora, smugly takes a drag from vape

pyr666 0

not at all. most people in the US aren't feminists for this very reason.

GunzGoPew 6

I didn't notice that most people in the US were stereotypical neckbeards, but neat.

pyr666 1

the fact that you have to conceptualize everyone who disagrees with feminism as "neckbeards" rather nicely demonstrates why your movement is so unpopular.

GunzGoPew 7

Yeah, women's rights movements are totally unpopular.

You got me. .

OrangesAreOrangeHa 5

Also, in addition to my other reply, you just proved you're doing this female companionship. If it wasn't popular, you wouldn't do it.

GunzGoPew 2

Lmao. You’re projecting because you’re a lonely loser.

pyr666 4

you made the same mistake again.

GunzGoPew 1

Well, you're about as articulate as a bag of hammers, so unless you're going to try and explain what you mean, I'm just going to keep mocking you.

helpyobrothaout 14

Liberal feminist male over here who does whine about the patriarchy. I don't do it for female companionship. I stand for what I believe in, regardless of if it "gets me chicks" (paraphrasing your deliberately convoluted statements). Pretty poor attitude to involve yourself in politics to impress someone, and it's even more pathetic that you're swayed by that over to the conservative side.

​

Sometimes it feels like I'm the only straight white male on this website who's a liberal feminist, but then I turn on the news for a split second and remember why it matters that I continue. It also helps that many of my friends are WOC and POC, to remind me of what happens when people in power ignore their history and privilege.

rightwingthrowaway5 -9

As long as you're not harassing women or hold the belief that they owe you their companionship because of your (ill formed imo) politics, then I mostly have no issue with you.

helpyobrothaout 12

I would never believe that a woman owes me anything, for anything that I do/say, nor would I ever brag or use it to "benefit" me. And I certainly don't think I'm "higher" or need praise because I'm a liberal white male. I was raised in a very conservative household, so it's a personal journey that brought me to liberalism,

​

And re: ill-formed; likewise haha.

meetMalinea 12

Or maybe they're not "signaling virtues," they're just actually virtuous.

It is possible to believe and advocate for gender equality while simultaneously not believing it will (or at least not caring if it does) get you laid. Believe it or not, some people do care about the rights of people besides themselves.

pyr666 8

Or maybe they're not "signaling virtues," they're just actually virtuous.

the abundance of prominent male feminists that are sexually assaulting women seems to indicate otherwise.

Believe it or not, some people do care about the rights of people besides themselves.

what rights do women not have that men do?

nolo_me 5

Actual virtue is quiet actions, not talking loudly about it.

meetMalinea 4

Sometimes it's also speaking up. E.g. when you see something wrong happening, it is not virtuous to stay silent and do nothing. Just as it's shitty to remain silent and remain in the room if someone is saying bad things about a friend of yours, it's shitty to continue participate in a conversation and remain silent about the racism, sexism, etc. you are seeing in it.

Edited to add: If seeing someone advocate for the rights of a group they are not a member of makes you automatically assume they are disingenuous and doing it out of some secret selfish motive, it may say more about you then it does about them.

umar4812 1

You can care about the rights and not be a self absorbed ass about it.

Tha_Prince_Ali 8

No offense but to me it just sounds like you’re projecting your own attitudes about women into other people.

It's weird, nobody in real life thinks like this, but you see it online all the time.

PrickBrigade 9

Losers don't go outside.

bikebum 2

Probably true with most fringe views. Sometimes I get all annoyed reading about SJWs, but I can't think of a single person like that in real life.

Phase714 4

I've met and known several people who I would describe as the over the top SJW. Never met anyone who has the attitude of the male that camster described. But that's just anecdotal.

neuk_mijn_oogkas 1

You see way more people online talking about knowing people who do it than people who actually do it.

There is in general a lot of shit where people get together to talk about how much of a problem "certain kinds of people" are where I honestly feel I never met them and neither did they but it's just some archetype the internet created.

the-camster 9

Same for me too.

But read this sub and most of reddit. It’s a completely different universe in the minds of these men.

The blame game circlejerk here is strong.

FoxFireUnlimited 7

I'm tired of this attitude right here. Thanks for illustrating.

NaCLedPeanuts 4

Society doesn't care about me.

It doesn't. This is a fact.

Men are disposable.

They are. This is a fact.

Good news, I've found the kind of attitude that I am sick of.

the-camster 10

Yeah thanks for clearing that up with zero proof or examples. Meanwhile I don’t know any man in real life who has any of those problems.

TheMawt 10

But he said it's a fact so it must be true

Daedalus308 14

Guys that immediately tell you youre a pussy when you care about an issue, and that you should just deal with it cause thats what men do.

I.e. me-"its real fucked up that men get treated unfairly in custody cases"

Male Douchebag-"who cares? We're men. Just deal with it"

I.e. me-"its real fucked up that men get treated unfairly in custody cases"
Male Douchebag-"who cares? We're men. Just deal with it"

apath3t1c 6

The whole "suppress your emotions and feelings because you're a guy" mentality is so fucked. Show your feelings, show that you care, show that you have a heart, show that you can wear that heart on your sleeve.

It's okay to be genuine. People love that shit.

the_sweetest_peach 1

I find your username hilariously ironic in this context.

FreshAnteater6 14

When the only thing your friend talks about is hooking up with girls or what disgusting thing he got away with saying in her DM's. Then he gets upset at you for saying no to hooking him up with/introducing him to one of your friends that's a girl. Like what do you expect?

naked_avenger 13

It's mostly stuff on this sub. People tend not to be overly vocal in my rather large group of friends and acquaintances. This place has gone way down hill relative to like, four years ago.

"I'm not anti-women, I'm just anti-feminism! 3rd wave, 3rd wave!" Yeah, okay man. Got'cha. Really, a lot of MRAs. Too many caricatures and not enough men that have self-awareness who visit askmen. The #metoo movement is not here to get you.

"Equal rights and lefts!" Good lord go drown yourself, please.

The nerds who are just self-defeating cry babies. Especially the ones who won't even TRY. It's pathetic.

luiz_cannibal 11

Can you explain why self defence and objecting to false rape claims are wrong? I mean you say people like me who do those things are cry babies but you don't really say why.

naked_avenger -10

Hey, found one!

luiz_cannibal 15

That doesn't really answer the question. That makes you look stupid, not me.

naked_avenger -6

Nah, you desperately wanting the social grace to punch women, and the belief that women are en masse making false rape accusations, makes you look stupid.

luiz_cannibal 10

Well I didn't say either of those things, you just made them up. Again, that makes you look bad not me.

naked_avenger -2

Oh, are we playing that game? Alright.

I never said men aren't allowed to defend themselves against female attackers, nor did I say that men aren't allowed to defend themselves against false rape allegations. Since the "Equals rights and lefts" crowd isn't really about defending themselves from women, but instead about fellating themselves over full force punching chicks, we must be in agreement. Since the #metoo movement isn't a bunch of women filing false rape claims, we're in agreement over that as well.

Weird you'd feel the need to make a comment in the first place, eh?

luiz_cannibal 3

In didn't say you made those claims. You however did say I wanted to be able to punch women etc.

If you can't argue your points honestly they must not be very good points.

naked_avenger 0

You're still continuing with the whole disingenuous schtick?

girraween 0

Mate, stop. You didn’t make a good case for your arguments, now you’re just digging that hole deeper.

dinosaurs_and_sluts -2

It's amazing how someone getting up in arms about "false-rape accusations" as if they're a bigger problem than systemic rape and inequality immediately tells you everything you need to know about them.

They get upvotes on reddit, but when they bring it up among a real group of people, you can feel the atmosphere completely change as every woman in the room just glares at them and every other man internally facepalms.

Then you have to try find a graceful way to tell this dude to just fucking shut-up, usually followed by him not getting the hint and continuing to dig himself into an even deeper hole.

Then he leaves, and everyone talks about the actual logistics of not having to hang out with him anymore. Like not just, "man that was awkward." More like "ok, how do we make sure that he doesn't get an invite the next time we decide to go out."

naked_avenger 4

Amen, brother.

OrangesAreOrangeHa -2

The only part of your post I'm going to address is about the upvote on reddit. Reddit as a whole is much more liberal. If a less liberal view gets a lot of upvotes on Reddit, it's actually a VERY good point.

I'm not suggesting liberals or conservatives are right. My point is about understanding Reddit as a medium.

Smartless 5

How come, whenever someone asks people like you to explain your position, you can never actually make an argument?

ib4 "found another one!"

naked_avenger 1

Found another one!

People like me, have. A lot. I have. A lot. It's littered across multiple threads that get into this. Not wanting to get into a pointless debate with disingenuous trash water at every beckoning call is more a matter of time management.

Smartless 3

Yeah, i don't believe you.

The person who responded to you brought up the very reasonable issue of self defense and false rape allegations, and rather than saying "Nah, that's not what I'm talking about", or saying "I think those issues are overblown, but I've gone over those issues so much that I'd rather not do it right now" you just said "hurr durr. You must be one of those MRA cry babies!" Moreover, you're not concerned about your time; you continued to respond to the people who were trying to have an honest discussion with bullshit and name calling.

I think your argument relies on straw men and characiture, and you know it, but you're just making crap up so you don't have to address it.

naked_avenger 2

Thankfully, I don't care what you believe!

Where did I say defending yourself from attack was wrong? I didn't! He even acknowledged it.

Where did I say defending yourself from false rape accusations is wrong? I didn't! He even acknowledged it.

Smartless 3

Okay

OrangesAreOrangeHa 4

You know, when I saw the question about defending yourself against false rape accusations, I was interested in reading them answer. And then I read your exchange and was disappointed. I think if an actual intellectual who cares about this issue read /u/naked_avenger 's response, they would be embarrassed. What a wasted opportunity to advocate a position. This only perpetuates the believe that people like him are the problem.

"Okay" was the only answer you could give. Good job. But I still cringed at the other person's responses.

naked_avenger 2

I'm not concerned with what you think an "actual intellectual" would think, or what you cringe at. It's cringy position that Smartless (name absolutely fits) and luiz take in the first place. If your initial reaction to the #metoo movement is "Golly look at all them false rape accusations!" then you're a blithering buffoon. There's really little reason to constantly engage every person who thinks they deserve a debate that they themselves aren't willing to genuinely discuss.

I've DONE it more than enough times. It's tiring and ultimately pointless, especially when a coalition of knuckle-dragging morons brigades the thread of discussion with downvotes. So, I'm supposed to be at the beckon call to every demand, with every dildo that thinks they have a cute quip? Nah, son.

And it just cracks me up how people can arrogantly proclaim an unwillingness to discuss or debate when they literally start off with a disingenuous straw-man. Luiz's initial comment was an absurd implication to begin with. Get off it with this faux-intellectualism facade.

I've DONE it more than enough times. It's tiring and ultimately pointless, especially when a coalition of knuckle-dragging morons brigades the thread of discussion with downvotes. So, I'm supposed to be at the beckon call to ever demand, with every dildo that thinks they have a cute quip? Nah, son.

nowedger 1

Might get off Reddit if you’re worried about time management 😂

LambtoLion 5

I feel like it's the product of our culture. I was just reading a sub here talking about social pressure that man need to be macho and appear tough in modern society because if they show emotions "they're pussies". This seems to affect those with already troubling social and emotional issues and the only place to vent about their problems is somewhere where they are anonymous (technically) like reddit. Also nothing wrong with MRA and Feminism if the people preaching it have a valid point. It becomes a problem when those with personal issues try to tackle public issues.

ghillieintherain 12

When a highschool or elementary school teacher rapes a boy and someone will say something like "where were these teachers when i was in school".

scott2127 12

standoffishness-nobody likes that guy that that makes everyone feel uncomftrable. subtle dick measuring comparisons. I think we all know that guy, that stands right next to you in the entire gym in front of mirror, slams the barbell/dumbell, tries to look/act agressive etc.

self loathing/comparisons-stop dwellling on things you have no control over. nobody got to choose their face/attractiveness, etc. if you dont look a certain way or have something out of your control than it wasnt meant to be, stop worrying about it, nobody wants to be around that insecure guy that consatnly measures himself to others, lighten up!

general judgyness/stereotyping- for the love of God, if im eating a burger and fries and you say "why do you eat that?", because i fucking want to. The whole world doesnt revolve around meal preps and vegan smoothie drinks, (all the power to you) but that genetically inferior/overweight/insecure/self comparison dude that wonders how someone eat a certain way and look a certain way needs to have a reality check. not everybody is created equal and not everybody was dealt the same deck of cards in life and that is 100% ok! enjoy life!

I_dream_a_meme 11

The phrase "man up" or any variation thereof.

MasrInAmerica 11

Being too afraid to tell their girlfriends or wives to stop doing things that make them uncomfortable. Or even attempt to talk about it at all.

red_keshik 10

Pretty much anything in the MGOTW vein

naked_avenger 1

I have no idea what these letters mean.

BMison 2

Men

Go

Their

Own

Way

__I don't know much about the movement but it seems to be something to do with completely dissociating with the opposite sex outside of inevitable interactions.

hegel_g_pataki 1

Except they remain obsessed with women, specifically hating women.

totalwpierdol 1

You can't even spell it correctly

red_keshik 1

Missed that typo, my mistake.

my-life-troubles 9

Not an attitude but other guys over explaining things. Like, bro, I understood what you said the first time you said it.

appleORorange 9

Advice from other men:

Just be yourself, women love that

Ive never been turned down [thought process : woman doesnt have good taste]

I know what i'm doing ive installed 200 of these (it doesnt work and i have proof from the manufacture they are wrong)

wtf81 8

People complaining about getting a job or project done. I'm so tired, I'm so hungry, I wish I was at home, my SO is gonna be pissed if I'm away this late all the time. Seriously dude. We're all fucking tired and hungry and we all wanna go home. You wanna go home? Put in some fucking work and lets finish this.

Literally had a 30 year old tell me he was 'grumpy because he missed is morning and afternoon nap'. Dude, you're 30 this is the best it's gonna be for you...

obp5599 4

You sound like a great boss

wtf81 1

I'm just another dude grinding out a living.

PocketHealer21 7

Comments like "I banged like three chicks at that party"

Like really? That what you want to base your personal success on?

Gabisan32 7

Its a valid metric to base things on

gugabe -1

Your ability to get things pregnant is probably the thing you can do that'll have the most longterm impact on the world, tbh.

TerminalOrbit 7

That they're offended when they're hit-on by someone of the same-sex: hey, man, you should be flattered when anyone finds you attractive enough to tell you!

bikebum 3

Fuck yeah, it's a compliment! I just wish I got hit on by girls as much as guys, lol

SoICanPostAtWork 6

This has been posted a number of times, but I'm going to tag on my version.

Sadboys who work a low end retail job and complain that they're not getting anywhere in life and how poor they are, while spending 99% of their income on useless junk (brand new video games multiple times a week, ordering out constantly, alcohol, etc). They have no drive to move up the ladder or get a better job because they're so used to wallowing in their own self pity. They never seem to understand that they are the only thing stopping themselves from moving forward with life. They make suicide jokes and self deprecating comments constantly. They're terrible with women (because they lack the self esteem necessary to stop themselves from saying the jokes I just mentioned to them). Any time someone around them is successful, they're the first ones to complain about how they aren't in that situation and knock that person down for having the drive to get that far.

TL;DR: Suicide/self deprecating jokes aren't cool. Stop that. If your lives are so bad, identify the issues (yourself/your job) and work on them. Take personal responsibility.

JimmyOTEL 1

Nothing wrong with self deprecating jokes, I cant stand people who are so high and mighty that they cant take the piss out of themself and only ever make fun of other people

Baconinvader 3

I don't mind self-deprecating jokes, but I know people who just go over the top with them as a way to gain sympathy. They'll say shit like "Haha I wish I could do that but I have anxiety/depression lol" fucking constantly so people will feel bad for them. They never try and resolve their problems or open up emotionally about them, they just keep making self-deprecating jokes and staying inside their little bubble of self-hate, because it's easy and they don't really know what else to do. Its a mindset that I absolutely despise and it's only grown more prevelent now that it's "cool" to make depression and suicide jokes.

SoICanPostAtWork 2

I can't say I disagree with that statement. I should have specified that I dislike when people who almost exclusively make those jokes. It's not funny after a while. It's worrying. Taking cracks at yourself from time to time is healthy, but there is a limit to that.

DeadlySquaids14 6

I can't fucking stand alpha males. You can have emotions and vulnerabilities and still be masculine.

justfriendshappens 6

Men and women can't have a platonic friendship.

fuzzy_happy 5

People who are self-deprecating about serious issues with themselves but don't try to seek out help even when supported by others to do so.

SorrySquare 5

The new self-help culture. People reading books they claim make them better people. I'm talking Jordan Peterson, Mark Manson, that type of guy.

We've been through this in the past with culture and it's just a fad, only now for the first time ever it's being targeted at men. Some day we will look back at this time as very cringey. Like recordings of positive affirmations and the weird language of the self esteem movement from the 80s and 90s.

GP96_ 6

I would say for people that have low self-esteem and mental health issues these books can be great but it's when people go on and on about them that I can see how they can be annoying.

SorrySquare 10

I really don't think they're great for people with low self esteem or mental health issues. I think the authors and publishers take advantage of those vulnerable people for financial and social gain.

If you read those books with a minimally critical mindset you see that they're full of barnum statements and one-size-fits-all advice, at worst they depend on really contrived and paranoid philosophies. They do not work, all evidence that they do is testimonial, which means there is nothing supporting that they work.

Obviously folks can do whatever they want and if some individual reads a book like this and puts it into practice and their life is improved that is fine, but it might as well have been a fortune cookie or any other meaningless instruction.

GP96_ 2

I'll admit, if it's one of those "self-help" books with 50 blank pages then yeah, total exploitation by the author/publisher but if it's one with advice on what do when you feel/acting a certain way that isn't good for you and gives advice on how to be healthier then I'm all for it.

SorrySquare -2

Yeah we have this conversation about religion a lot too, like "If it helps people what's the harm?" but I think the harm is the way they reach their advice is often not rooted in reality (JP's weird brand of mystical Jungianism and the self aggrandizing armchair psychology of Manson) and often requires readers to hold assumptions that will do them more harm then the brief feeling of "having a plan and mindset when I talk to this girl" will do them good.

Again, I think if someone is benefiting from these they would have benefited from anything. It's filling the need for them to not be their normal neurotic selves in social contexts. A lot of guys feel more comfortable with a plan when talking to girls or navigating the unsteady american male young adulthood, and these books provide a plan. Any plan would have worked though and the ones that make it big always have some weird baggage as part of their charisma.

HeyyyKoolAid 2

I just want to say that while I agree with most of sentiment, I have read a few in my development years and they've helped me quite a bit. I understand most books just make blanket statements and such but there are quite a few where the author have a background in the topic, or at least have done a modest amount of research.

While I wouldn't go and say these books have changed my life. But they have given me new internal insights and understanding of myself. They certainly don't cure anything, but sometimes learning how to recognize issues can better lead you to different approaches in fixing it.

SorrySquare 0

Oh look another testimonial.

HeyyyKoolAid 1

Dude, all I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to look elsewhere for information. It may help or it may not, but you don't have to be so condescending about it. The fact that you're so closed minded about people wanting to find answers to help themselves is so oppressive.

SorrySquare 0

I have no response to this other then I have no idea why you're so invested in the self help genre. Pretty sure my attitude is not oppressive.

HeyyyKoolAid 1

It's dismissive to say the least. I tried to share some anecdotal experience with you, but instead of having a constructive discussion you just dismissed me as if I'm just shilling for self help books. It's fine if you don't believe in them but I find it hypocritical of you to say those books use nothing but blankets statements, when you yourself are just blanket statement-ting that they flat out don't work.

SorrySquare 0

Yeah well I'm not out here claiming to solve people's problems in exchange for money. Hypocrisy doesn't real lmao

luiz_cannibal 3

I enjoy the guys one step removed from that, who don't want to admit to reading self help so they claim to have read Meditations or Seneca but somehow don't know anything about the content of those books.

SorrySquare 3

Yeah there's a lot of people ignoring the actual text and historical context of the stoics and reading them like self help manuals, weird to notice now that you mention it.

neuk_mijn_oogkas 2

It's kind of interesting now that you mention it that all this self-help shit used to be super spiritual and female-marketed.

It's kind of interesting how you mention it that all this self-help shit used to be super spiritual and female-marketed.

SorrySquare 4

Same level of woo as it ever was. They probably got woke and realized insecurity triggering marketing works on men too.

neuk_mijn_oogkas 1

Identity-marketing is so hilarious.

Did you know that D-LINK sells "gaming routers" which are optimized for the frequences at which gaming occurs? And some idiots actually but that crap for extra money.

SorrySquare 1

Dang, I need to change careers.

SmileLikeAphexTwin 1

I'll buy anything to help me play like MacieJay!

P__Squared 0

The new self-help culture. People reading books they claim make them better people. I'm talking Jordan Peterson, Mark Manson, that type of guy.

It blows my mind that anyone takes Jordan Peterson seriously.

I agree with a few of his views (mainly the anti-political correctness stuff) but watching just a few minutes of JP on YouTube made me hate him. So much pseudo-scientific psychobabble.

SorrySquare 2

Yeah he's just Oprah for young men basically.

Tha_Prince_Ali 1

He’s basically the modern equivalent of a 1980’s Televangelist. But instead of Christians he caters to right-wing neckbeards.

OriginalSeraphim 5

People (often men) that project negative energy. I know that sounds nebulous and a few years ago I would have said “negative energy? Wtf does that mean?”, but over the last couple years I think it’s really come to define who I associate with.

I ditched a lot of old friends because a lot of them were just negative nancies. The only things that they would talk about is how their wife/gf/kids are annoying, and how they hate their bosses, and how their favourite sports team is sucking, and they would talk shit about mutual friends. I realized that they all liked to spread gossip and talk shit about others and picked fights.

Cutting out these people made me a lot happier so I’ve started cutting out a lot of other negative stuff. I unsubbed from r/choosingbeggars, r/talesfromretail and a lot of other negative subs. Not because they’re bad and I can’t relate, but I just realized that hanging out in subs like those mostly just pissed me off needlessly.

weallwantsomethink 5

The overal competitive nature of men.

A lot of guys are always busy with uping their game. And they go on and on about that process or that process in other men.

A lot of guys are always busy with uping there game. And they go on and on about that process or that process in other men.

ChunkyMunky666 4

I occasionally meet guys who have the attitude that they need to boast about how tough they are where a colleague of mine for example was making stuff up where he said that he worked a 16 hour day. Where it is just so obvious he is lying and I honestly don't get why he feels the need to boast and make himself appear masculine and tough when all we are doing is working at a target.

DJ_Squirrel 3

Some peoples perspective of one night stands. I vividly remember a guy in one of my friend groups talking about the walk of shame. He was all like "I would be celebrating that shit if it happened to me bro, WOOOO!" Like, yeah, you've had sex with a stranger, you don't really know what their life is like outside of their vagina, congrats. Being raised Catholic I've always kinda had a problem with the hook up culture in college (even though it's not THAT big) but celebrating the concept of objectifying women just ain't it chief.

ender_wiggin1988 3

Men who can't take responsibility for the part they play in their own lives and who develop pathetic, self-pitying ideas regarding why they're alone and unsuccessful.

Also, men with high pitched or feathery voices annoy the fuck out of me, even though I know it's not their fault. Lol

SourPatchWiz 3

Easily-frustrared guys who get aggressive and angry over nothing. Seriously, the fuck?

Landinium 3

To quote my utterly reprehensible housemates:

"Yeah there's about 40% of girls in our course, oh but yeah there's loads of gay guys there too and they're basically women anyway, so I guess you could call them women so i'd say there is a majority of women in our course" *cue uproarious laughter*

Obviously not all men, but this macho macho uber-straight bullshit is something I really fucking hate.

God I can't wait to move out. Wish me luck

Valon129 3

It's not really all men but on this sub, every single problem you have can be solved by going at the gym and lifting. Probably this sub is mostly american because I've never heard it anywhere in EU so far.

​

It's like "I have cancer and my dog died" > go to the gym bro.

AmmoTuff182 3

When they make excuses for literally everything. Own your shit dude.

beamerBoy3 3

Meatheads, and whiners who make nothing but excuses for their problems.

mr_masamune 3

"Just go out to a bar, find a girl, and fuck her."

Naw man, that's not my style. I don't need to stick my dick in every woman. I need to be connection to sleep with a woman. I'd rather date a woman and get to know her.

ShakaWTWF 3

100% agree

Underrated comment right here

helpyobrothaout 2

That experimenting makes you gay. That showing affection to your other male friends makes you gay. That crying or needing support/affection from your male friends makes you gay. That liking pink, dancing, theatre, arts makes you gay. That caring about what you look like, having a skincare routine, wiping your ass after you shit makes you gay. Not liking cars, sports, or alcohol makes you gay.

​

Apparently the only thing you can do without being thrown into the gay box is to sit around with a bunch of other guys, eating phallic foods, and watch groups of really fit, sweaty men in spandex run around.

OrangesAreOrangeHa 1

I don't care if you're gay. I don't care if you're not gay. I don't care if you're bi. But I think there's a difference between "experimenting" with other dudes and wiping your own butt after you poop, isn't there?

helpyobrothaout 1

It's not about not caring if someone is gay or not, it's about deciding someone else's orientation on a number of irrelevant societal stereotypes and factors attributed to masculinity/femininity. I don't understand what it has to do with you caring if someone is gay/straight/bi. If you decide someone is gay because they have a skincare routine- well, that's what I'm tired of hearing from other men.

​

And I also don't see how experimenting makes someone gay or bi. They're trying to see if they're gay or bi. How does the very action of doing something to determine your sexuality, make you that sexuality? You're gay if you're sexually attracted to someone of the same sex, not if you had sex with someone of the same sex and decided it wasn't for you.

OrangesAreOrangeHa 1

I'm sorry if I offended you, that's not what I was trying to do. I'm just trying to understand. I feel like there is a difference (not a right or wrong, but a difference) between hygiene and doing other guys.

Now that I think about it, is there a difference between doing 1 guy and doing 10 guys if you're still trying to figure out if you like it?

I'm not trying to be an asshole, I just think it's interesting.

EDIT: And I wasn't accusing you of hating straight or gay people in my original comment, I was saying that I don't care who is straight and who is gay.

helpyobrothaout 2

Not offended! I'm sorry if my comment came off very aggressive, I didn't intend for it to be.

​

I can see what you mean. I try my best to not judge people or make assumptions so if a guy comes up to me and says he's had sex with 10 guys but he's not gay or bi, I'd probably raise an eyebrow but it's not any of my business. People have weird fetishes, various self-identities, circumstances, etc. It's also a bit of a double standard- women can get drunk and go down on each other but come out of the evening exclaiming that they were just really drunk. A man hooks up with another man and the rest is history.

​

It is an interesting thing to think about. I suppose I'm more annoyed that other guys find femininity or sexuality so repulsive/scary that anything out of the norm makes you "gay", or "metrosexual", or whatever else. It's basically a replacement for "effeminate", which is in the mind of many men, the worst thing they could be called.

​

I'm a slightly more feminine guy and when I used to bring up my girlfriend, all the people who didn't yet know would collectively say, "I thought you were gay!" Like you said nothing wrong with being gay but unless someone specifically says they're gay, what else could possibly mean they're gay?

peekingman 2

The guys I associate with don't annoy me. That's why I assoicate with them

​

However, back in the day when I wasn't so discerning... Any uninformed opinon being passed of as fact

gavinschranz 2

When we're in a club and someone constantly complains about it being a ''cockfest''

totalwpierdol 2

I hate this macho dick-waving culture. I hate how other men try to step on my head, testing how much I let them, trying to find my weaknesses. Not that I can't deal with it, it's just it's tiring in the long run

I wish I could live in normal society where everyone respects each other

HoldMyHipsKissMyLips 2

Something Something, stereotype about women.

danhab99 2

I'm gay, and I'm constantly getting out alpha'd by this guy... I WAS WEARING A TAIL how much more beta can I be?

haplogreenleaf 2

Thinking that real men don't care what other people think about them. There are things called honor, dignity, and reputation, and they are the currency of the social world.

NickJamesBlTCH 1

People that ask for help with women, and then don’t take the advice. I completely understand that it’s scary for some of you, but if you’re coming to someone (of your own accord) for advice in a field they’re decently experienced in, please be prepared to try and change some habits.

I told two of my buddies/acquaintances that the girls they were interested in were totally down to go out with them - NINE MONTHS AGO (after a single party and some very clear signals.) I even took the soft approach and tried to nudge them into starting text/snapchat conversations between in-person meetings.

Doesn’t matter how many people can vouch for my wingman abilities; doesn’t matter how many times they assure me they’ll listen to what I say, it’s been 9 months and one of them has finally asked his girl out.

Guess what? She has a boyfriend now!

And to be totally clear, I’m not mad that people exist that aren’t 100% socially proficient, I’m slightly annoyed that people seem to ask my opinion, tell me I give good advice, do their own thing anyway, and then follow my instructions when they’re finally out of options. Basically I’m mad that people aren’t doing absolutely everything in their power to be happy and get what they want, instead opting for the excruciating “does she like me/I don’t know” route, which seems unbearably torturous.

That’s my short rant, and I hope I didn’t offend any of you, I legitimately wish I could nudge you all in the right direction just a little harder.

200x964 1

Dont worry! You just showed dominance

MediumCost 1

Everything

Dohgdan 1

That we can’t just go into a post-scarcity society at any moment.

Snowbattt 1

"I can't get a girlfriend! I'm ugly! My life is meaningless because I can't get a girlfriend! I must be undesirable! I'm so pathetic"

Oh for fucks sake MAN THE FUCK UP.

PathTo3Commas 0

Lawl

herfacedown 0

That your wife spends all your money.

If she’s not responsible with the finances, as a husband, it’s your job to educate her.

"why do I have to be the one to approach women? Why can't I be approached?"

I wish life was like that too but I'm 5'5'' and look like every other dude in my city, sometimes you gotta play the hand you're dealt.

bikebum 1

I'm average height, a decent catch but it's still extremely rare for an average girl to approach me. Just the way it is, most girls get approached all the time, so they don't need to.

JudgeBergan 0

Almost every machinist atitude.

​

- During colleague, most of my friends done a lot of jokes the threaded me as the gay of the group just for the way I was. There were always a "gay in the group". It was just a thing about masculine stereotypes.

- The best topic to talk about was always girls: like: "I was with X girl on Y party", "I fucked Z". As if each sexual experience made you worthy of a medal. My mother always teach me to treat girls with respect and for a long time, so, it always were a bit uncomfortable for me.

I were the first from my group to finish university, start working and leave my parents house, so, I started a new phase before most of them. We had a WhatsApp group all together, so, once I was asking for advice to buy sheets and one of them asked me to ask those things in another place as nobody cared about that topic. That group was kind of toxic, I had some regret feelings about having spend most of my childhood with them.

I miss those guys.

PeteThePerv -1

This thread proves we all have good reasons to hate each other. Misanthropy is the only reasonable philosophy.

qxangelxp -4

Ur Yung

An old fart like me

It's what happens wen u get ol

I wish I had more opportuniti liek u

My eyes weren't what dey used 2b

I was automatically stoopid wen I was in 20s

Ur gunna have kids wen you have unprotected sex, and den a morgage

(K intensifies)

comoraunt_astronaut 2

Ok so you hate your dad

qxangelxp 2

I don't hate my dad. My dad doesn't let age bother him.
I'm talking about old men who "accept" or think it's cute that old age makes them obsolete or less of a man.

I know they are joking, and it's all in good fun, but shit's mad old. Don't joke about being old like it's a sad wall or nothing to look forward to. Just ignore it and just keep being your best. Keep being cool, and don't make younger men feel ashamed for being young, or dreading becoming old, or like some clock is ticking. I don't want to think about it in the negative way like they do.

I don't hate my dad. My dad doesn't let age bother him.
I'm talking about old men who "accept" or think it's cute that old age makes them obsolete or less of a man.

I know they are joking, and it's all in good fun, but shit's mad old. Don't joke about being old like it's a sad wall or nothing to look forward to. Ignore it and just keep being the best, keep being cool, and don't make me feel ashamed for being young, or dreading becoming old. I don't want to think about it like you do.