​The other day, a client and I were talking about how she struggles with the belief that she “doesn’t deserve to take up space.”

I pointed out that even the way in which she had positioned herself on my couch, demonstrated her attempts to try to take up “as little space as possible.”

Unfortunately, the belief that we need to try to “take up less space,” is a common one in our culture-particularly for women.

While body image issues impact people of all genders, for the purpose of this post-I have chosen to highlight the idea of “taking up space” as it relates to women.

The Ways Women Are Taught to Take Up Less Space

From the time that many of us were small, we have been culturally conditioned to try to “take up less space.” The following are some examples:

Women are taught that “thinness” is something to strive for and many are exposed to this idea and the concept of dieting at an early age.

Women are expected to be “smaller” then their partners.

Women are conditioned to apologize for even the smallest things.

Women are socialized not to seem “too opinioned,” or “too strong in their beliefs.”

Women are conditioned to not express their emotions “too intensely.”

Women are taught to cater to other’s needs, sometimes at the expense of their own.

Women are conditioned to not “speak too highly of themselves,” or they might come across as arrogant.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says,

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?”

Diet Culture and Shrinking Women

There is a $60 billion diet industry, which makes profit off our belief that we aren’t “good enough.” Body-dissatisfaction is what helps diet companies continue to sell their products.​Additionally, body image issues impact people of all genders. However, I think that particularly as women it’s important to note that a focus on these issues often keeps us from “playing big” in other areas of our lives. When women are fixed on dieting and attempting to change their bodies, they are not using their energy to change the world.

It’s also interesting to note that diet culture and a fixation on thinness rose in prominence around the time that women began to gain more political rights in our society.

You Are Not More Valuable If You Take Up Less Space

For all of the women who have been taught that you need to try to take up less space.

No matter what size your body is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your body.

There is something wrong with a society where we are taught that our value lies in shrinking.