Wednesday, June 8, 2016

#NASLMap Update 6/8/2016 - Loons are Losers on the Field, but Winners on the Map!

Minnesota United FC, despite three successive league rounds of failure have come up smelling of ... well fresh air I guess? For the first time this year the Big Sky State of Montana has been claimed helping the Loons create a land belt across the north of the country. There are now only fifteen pieces of uncharted territory left in the USA and Canada.

That's not all they claimed. With it being an election year the Nation's capital has once again changed hands this time the New York Cosmos are the ousted party and some dark clouds now loom over the White House for the time being!

Minnesota supporters didn't stop there, the Midwest war with Indy Eleven continues to rage on. This could be described as a 'pitch' battle, while the Loons continue to complain about Indy's turf and everyone else's, they managed to steal a part of it and took Kansas away from the Boys in Blue, no doubt while complaining about Rayo's turf on the way home from Oklahoma (banter/puns intended).

Turf has been a continual problem for Minnesota in 2016, the cause of several poor performances!

Indy Eleven's loss of Kansas and Minnesota's gain of three territories means the lead is now tied! Both teams control 10 areas, and as we speak Minnesotans everywhere are busy burning plastic and sewing grass seed wherever they can in the hope of finding their way back to winning ways. Never mind, the grass will no doubt be as greener in MLS!Rayo pinches another square of turf, and some media attention.....

The Oklahoma Soccer wars came to a thrilling head to head last week in the first ever meeting of Rayo OKC and Energy OKC in the US Open Cup, a rivalry that may now be known as "The Beer Can Throwing Derby". Despite a loss to their USL neighbors Rayo miraculously managed to pull of a State steal in California of all places. Perhaps all their tears ran in that direction to help with the drought?

Rayo wasted no time in putting their cup misery behind them by sweeping aside the aforementioned turf allergic Minnesota United in a win that has probably had less attention than rumors coming out of Spain about the new NASL Franchise.

Several unconfirmed stories have surfaced regarding Rayo Vallecano owner Raúl Martín Presa, he is apparently considering selling his substantial share in the Oklahoma outfit? Would this in future cause a name change for this new franchise, with their continual growth in the NASL map they may consider Risk OKC or maybe Elevate OKC?

Forever Green but less Green than Normal..... ?

After arranging the NASL schedule so they could get a rest before playing their big boy rivals NYCFC in the Open Cup, The New York Cosmos are again losing ground on the map. After ten successive matches they have set the bar for everyone else in the Spring Championship race but lost the political battle in DC and lost California to Rayo. Next week they will gather in the suites of Shart Stadium and rub sweaty palms together over their enemies while chuckling like Mr Burns in a bath tub of gold.

Is their legacy wearing thin? Losing players, losing states and being beaten by Indy Eleven, Minnesota and Fort Lauderdale Strikers for the first time it might be time to man the bilge pumps? We shall see. In 2015 the Cosmos won Spring with 20pts and went undefeated with 5 wins and 5 draws.

It is certain this year that the NASL has become more competitive and we know now that regardless of whether Indy, Tampa, or the Strikers can pull off a minor miracle, the Spring will be won with 18pts. The lowest total to date under the current league format. This time around the Cosmos are the only team without a single draw, six wins and four defeats. Perhaps another major senior citizen signing is in order to get their fans tweeting again. Or maybe they could buy out Rayo OKC to stop them passing them on the map!

So what exactly is going on in the Nations Capitol... ?

It's election year and the USMNT are playing in Copa America (sometimes) so let's round of this weeks update with a good ole red, white and blue Apple Pie Chart! DC has changed hands three times now from Jacksonville Armada to New York Cosmos, and now this week to Minnesota United. Here is a lil' peek at who is leading in the NASL presidential campaign, which coincidentally will finish around the same week our poor confused electorate vote one of two batsh*t cray cray candidates to be the new President of the United States!

Only six teams being tweeted, a lot can change before November!

Follow @Soccerbits and @Bloody_Shambles on twitter for occasional bonus stats and added non lethal banter! Join in the game by tweeting about your team using team twitter handles and team hashtags, if you do not enable your location your tweets will not be counted! Play responsibly and please tweet and drink, but don't tweet and drive... or drink and drive, or run with scissors!