Staff told Stanley that the flowers kept the landscapers from cutting the grass, and might cause them to trip.

Good old Health and Safety. We knew you could protect us from overly sensitive displays of lifelong love.

Brown was married for 57 years, and his wife died last December. He has tended her grave four times a day, every day.

"This has really upset me and the whole family. They all live within a three-mile radius and they all want to lay flowers at Violet's grave," Stanley told The (London) Times. "If I lay flowers, and one of my children or grandchildren also want to pay their respects and lay flowers, they can't because it's against the rules.

The problems started after Brown placed £20 of roses on his wife's gave one day. The following day, he found them stuffed in a landscaper's shed. A few days later, he received a letter from the Weaverham, Cuddington and Acton Bridge cemetery committee telling him they would steal remove the flowers if he placed more than one set on her grave.

Cemetery committee chairman John Freeman sniveled to the Times, "Plot owners are only allowed room for a single set of flowers due to the layout and upkeep of the cemetery. One or two people have built gardens in front of the headstones which is what breaks the rules and doesn't hep the gardener when he is mowing. We went up last week and removed a couple of obstructions and put them in a room."

"The committee go on about the gardener cutting grass at the cemetery but it has only been cut three times in the past year," Stanley said. "My sons and my granddaughter's boyfriend help out and cut the grass from the sides of the graves."

Sounds like the cemetery might be falling down on the job, although that may have just been a bouquet of flowers.

I would think that if the Weaverham Cemetery really cared about the safety of its workers, they would hire people who were a little more sure on their feet and were not immediately waylaid anytime someone left a bouquet of flowers for their loved ones.

Seriously? Seriously, Weaverham, Cuddington and Acton Bridge cemetery? Tripping is the best you can come up with?

You don't like that people show "too many" symbols of love and care to their family, so you come up with what may possibly be the dumbest excuse in the history of dumb excuses. "Our gardeners might trip on them." Is that the best you can do?

Or do you hire morons and the severely unstable? I'm all for helping people who need a break, but honest to God, if you're going to trust people to operate machinery that will chop off a man's foot at 100 miles an hour, you need to rethink whether you hire the ones who easily stumble over a bunch of flowers.

Otherwise, leave the man's flowers alone. Keep your rules for yourselves, and try to show the same honor and dignity to the living as Stanley Brown wants to show to his wife. Or at least pretend you still have a heart.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

See, you're already doing it. I can't even say four words without you opening your mouth and well-actuallying all over everything.

What is wrong with you, Well Actually Guy? How did you become that one annoying guy on Facebook who responds to every opinion with "Well, actually. . ."

"Well, actually" you'll explain the punchlines of jokes.

"Well, actually," you'll argue about a single statistic in a news article for hours.

Well Actually Guy likes to point out when things are technically correct, even though those details are not important to the discussion. In fact, Well Actually Guy likes to throw in these minor technical corrections as a way to derail a story, or call an entire philosophical argument into question.

We should call it "wagging," or use the hashtag #WAG. As in, "Did you just #WAG me?"

Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…