Sep 29, 2013

The exhausting sort. When only the steadfast, unwavering, firm love of the Lord sees you through.

The kind of week where it is very apparent that human efforts can offer no real solutions...temporary or lasting.

Yeah.

That was our week.

Started with one child...full on overt rebellion....

...then moved to another...full on conviction & repentance...

....then another...quiet conviction & repentance spurred on by the transparency of the overt sibling.

The boys were a great help. And a great comfort during what can only be described as a move of the Holy Spirit like we've never experienced as a family unit.

We have now walked through three children being brought face to face with the validity of their own faith claims. I've probably blogged about it before...but I have no idea where to find the posts w/out effort and I am so not into putting forth any effort at this moment.Some of you might know that I sometimes react physically to emotional/stressful/anxious/spiritual skirmishes. I fight like all heck...then I tend to crash. When in the safe zone...my body tends to poop out.

Braverijah came to us in his early teens and told us that his knowledge of the Lord had been a head one (demonstrated initially by raising his hand during a VBS alter call :) And then...years later...just like that...supernaturally...it moved to his heart....changing his professed yet non saving faith into a saving one. He wanted to be baptized and was.

Mcabe was young...maybe 9-10????? When he cried and cried on my lap...afraid that he was not actually saved at all due to a pattern of sinful reactions towards another. He had raised his hand and said "the prayer" at the tender age of 3...during an evangelistic puppet show alter call :) Years later......on the couch...we brought his sinful reactions and other things to the Lord together...acknowledging his resentment/wounds/anger/fear etc. and turning it all over to the Lord's sovereign care . He was able to find rest where there was once restlessness. He knew for sure that he was adopted into God's Kingdom.Precious Zionhas had a similar experience this week. Coming to us in tears...absolutely distraught over the possibility that her faith has not actually been a saving one. She had a whole laundry list of reasons why she has been questioning her standing in the Lord's family. I cannot tell you how precious it is to attempt to help soothe a contrite heart. I am weepy just thinking about it. She was under such deep conviction about every single little thing.

The Holy Spirit truly is our helper.

And the enemy is our accuser. And the father of lies. And the one who plants seeds of doubt. He attempts to get us off track. He attempts to stifle us and to paralyze us.

How to know the difference between the non believer who is being convicted that they are a white washed tomb and the believer who is being condemned, bullied, and harassed????????

Bradley and I met a young man at a church we were visiting last week. We had just finished speaking on a Sunday School classroom panel and something we said touched him...spoke to him. He was so stinking transparent and authentic in his asking our thoughts on how to know absolutely that you are truly saved or not...being sure...struggling with the doubts etc. It took all my might not to hug all over him. What guy in his 20's approaches a random couple and asks about such things??????? We talked about the fact that his even pondering such things is a good indication of the Lord's presence and working in his life. How those who care about such things...only care about them because the Lord first nudges them to. Zion was right there by our side...and I am sure she over heard our conversation. God is so good in that way. Using every moment in time to get us to the next moment in time. Nothing is wasted.

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Three believers have come to us in the last week...processing through deep times of anxiety and depression...both things Bradley and I have dealt with.

I am sensing a spiritual battle like none I've ever known. A heaviness hangs over so many in our circle.

Sep 19, 2013

Sep 18, 2013

I've had a bad few days. My back went out due to stress. It's never good when my back goes out...but when it spirals and I cannot get on top of the pain...I get nauseous. So I've pretty much been ready to puke and down for the count.

I am so happy Zion has friends who can "school" with her and hang with her while I am alternating between ice & heat packs and applying muscle rub to my radiating pain and trying not to cry.

Sep 8, 2013

I love our teaching pastor. I love the way he rightly divides the word of God...his preaching is off the charts.

I love his heart...he is a dear dear sensitive type and weeps openly about his role in past abortions.

I love his transparency...during today's sermon he reminded us of his prior to Christ meth use. (Brad just now said to me this very minute without knowing I'm blogging about this...."I could hear it in Tim's voice...he was thinking to himself should I say this right now? And then he just said it.")

I love his authenticity...he's honest about his struggle with control issues.

Last year he preached a series on Ecclesiastes which was turned intoa book. If you read it...I think it will bless you.

"Porn makes polygamists, pimps, and traffickers of us all." Pg 67

" ...the legalist and the hedonist have much in common. They are equally self-centered and driven by ego." Pg 71

Here is a question I've been mulling over.

If you find yourself in a desert. In a dry place spiritually...and you honestly believe that your spiritual well-being is the most important part of who you are...and the spiritual well-being of your family is what counts most...and that pursuing it should come first...above all other things....would you move to a place of spiritual health so that you are fed? Would you be open to it?