Gotta say after all this, unimportant though it is, I would never have taken the statement that way. If someone said to me "poop like a dog", i would assume they meant to poop frequently and easily, same as the phrase "sick as a dog", which means to vomit copiously. In which case I would certainly agree, 811rv does just that!

If Cohen specified he meant no need for wiping, I certainly do need to; I eat almost no overts (I try a tiny amount of nuts or tahini every couple of months, and immediately feel nauseous).

Dogs most definitely do need wiping too; as already pointed out, they lick clean, like many other mammals, plus we have all seen dogs scoot along grass (or carpet :p), to further clean themselves.