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I don't do soup. Why take perfectly good ingredients and liquidise them? (Well, you could have your jaw wired shut, I suppose, but I don't, yet, so nerr.) If I want tomato, I'll have a tomato, thanks. If I want onion, I'll have an onion. If I want oxtail, I'll... well, you get the idea. Likewise cover records: I don't do them. Except, today, I do. Twice over.

Las Vegas's Richard Cheese is quite the comedy crooner Stateside. His profile, greatly enhanced by appearances on popular US chat shows and a host of celebrity mates, ensures that 'I'd Like A Virgin' (out now on Idea Town) is likely to shift a few copies across the pond. Here it'll probably (well, hopefully) get stiffed, as we've more taste. Sorry, but lounge-style versions of popular hits from the likes of Madonna (hence the title, smartass), Kelis, Motley Crue and OutKast will not wash with us. So his crazy-fast jazz take on 'Milkshake' made me giggle first time through, so what? It's shit second time around. Sorry, but this is as funny as having your balls liquidised into the aforementioned runny stuff, and not even half as tasty.

Hayseed Dixie don't even know where Las Vegas is, let alone what lounge music's all about. They're straight out of Backwardsville, Southern USA (Deer Lick Holler, if the entirely fictional press release is to be believed), and 'Let There Be Rockgrass' (out now on Cooking Vinyl) is their countrified, banjo-driven take on rock standards by the likes of AC/DC, Aerosmith (and Run DMC), Queen and The Darkness. Compared to Dick Cheese's tiresome skits it's fantastic, although it obviously doesn't stand up, at all, to the original versions. But, if it's a bluegrass cover of 'Highway To Hell' that you're after, here is your band. Dumber than sucking on a stingray it may be, but if you don't crack at least half a smile during their version of 'I Believe In A Thing Called Love' then, sir, you haven't a funny bone in your body.

So that's a suitably stinking 1/5 for Mr Cheese, and a somewhat more satisfying, whiskey-soaked 3/5 for the hard-rock-loving hillbillies. Yee HAW! Sorry...