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How can you tell when a friendship has come to the end of its journey? You’ve been best friends since Jr. High, shared a lot of secrets, wiped each other tears after a heartbreak, and changed the diapers of one another’s babies. You supported each others achievements, disappointments, and hardships.

At least that’s how you saw it.

In all reality, you’ve been the one supporting the friendship. You have never missed a milestone in their life, but they’ve always missed yours. You put $100 in their wedding card, yet they only put $25 in yours–two months after you were married. When you talk on the phone with them, they dominate the call, but just before they hang up they ask, “how are the kids?” or, “so what’s new with you?”–never really wanting a reply. Your so excited to share the good news about your sons new job or about your promotion at work that you begin to speak. Bad move. They begin to yell at their kids in the background, put you on hold, or “un-hun” you to death, just before saying, “well that’s good. I’m happy for you guys”.

“Yeah, but not really. What did I just say?”

You and your spouse build a new home, but they never come to see it; however, you make the ten-hour trip to see their new home and bring house-warming gifts. Patterns like these happen over and over again throughout the course of your friendship. Your not tallying up your “good works” because you do it from the heart,with love. But you do wonder why they don’t show you some love.

You saw the pattern for years, but you ignored it–that’s just who they were; nothing personal. Now, at 40, you have decided to take inventory of useless friendships and clean house. You are in a good place in your life and have realized that this friendship has never benefited you. You have had an epiphany and it’s time to move on.

A friend is someone who loves you as if you were a blood relative. Friends empower one another with words co-signed by actions. You should not be putting more into a friendship than what you’re getting out of it; that’s how you know that your friendship journey has come to an end.

I have had enough of these entitlement programs and people. We have become a nation filled with lazy, give me, give me, give me people. What happened to the old adage, “If you don’t work, you don’t eat”?

Wait! Let me back up,I don’t want you all to get the idea that I don’t believe in helping others, so let me get this clear. I believe that at any point, in any of our lives, we may fall on a financial hardship and need a little help to make it through another day, week, or few months while we pursue our financial independence.

With that being said, I believe in giving a hand up instead of a hand out. This is a temporary hardship that calls for temporary assistance because they are out seeking gainful employment in order to sustain themselves and their family-I can respect that and would be glad to help my fellow citizen with the basic necessities of life.

Now on the other side of those pursuing self-sufficiency, are those I first started talking about-the give me types. These are people who rely on the government or not-for-pofit agencies to take care of them. People who believe such agencies are responsible for their well-being. People who work dead end jobs just to keep their “benefits”; benefits such as food, shelter, transportaion, and clothing. People who turn down the education and career training opportunities that the same agencies offer them for a brighter, self-reliant future.

But I shouldn’t put all the blame on the “give me types”. In all fairness, they are a product of social services; the programs that have handicapped them. Think about it, as long as their income is low and/or they have children, they qualify for assistance. Now, the lower your income, the more babies you have, and oh…this is a big one, the more behavioral or psychologically challenged, you or your child(ren) are, the bigger the checks and benefits are.

What our society of well intentioned programs has done is crippled the mindsets and success of many in our nation. By not setting strict but manageable guidlines, such as making education and career training mandatory for assistance, and having a deadline in place, you encourage laziness. Make people accountable for themselves!

You can’t tell me that financial freedom and success isn’t possible in our beautiful country-I see it everyday. We are truly a nation of opportunity but you have to want it and pursue it. There will be hills and even mountains to climb but self-sufficiency, success, and wealth are attainable. If you don’t believe me, look around you, who do you see owning 90% of your local stores and businesses? They are people from other countries that came here with a dream to pursue happiness-and they did. They work harder than any American born citizen I know and they have more because they expect more out of themselves.

I believe our government should have a system in place to help those sustain the basic needs of life during a financial hardship, but I don’t believe it should be thousands of those programs with thousands of loopholes that allow people to become permanent dependents. If the government would start saying no then the “takers” would be left with no other option but to care for themselves. I’m just tired of the excuses. We know better and can definitely do better as a society.