I’ve had a joke going with several friends over the past few weeks that Calvin Johnson has helped put the Madden Curse to rest, while we’re starting to see the emergence of an all new and much more powerful NFL demon – the Thursday Night Football QB Curse. Take this last TNF game, for instance. Atlanta Falcons QB Matt Ryan was just not-sh*tty enough with 165 yards and a TD to defeat the New Orleans Saints, who were led by Drew Brees’ 341 yards (good) and 5 INT (horrendous). Needless to say, by Friday morning, I already had several readers asking for this post.

Excluding the Thanksgiving Thursday games, which featured strong performances from Matt Schaub, Tom Brady, Matt Stafford, Tony Romo and Robert Griffin III – hell, even Mark Sanchez wasn’t terrible – you had a double-decker turdburger from Ryan Tannehill and Ryan Fitzpatrick in Week 11, a Blaine Gabbert-esque performance from Blaine Gabbert and Andrew Luck (he did rush for 2 TD in his defense) in Week 10, and Matt Cassel and Philip Rivers derping it up in Week 9. In fact, aside from Josh Freeman in Week 8, Ben Roethlisberger in Week 6 and Joe Flacco in Week 4, Thursday night games have been mediocre-to-awful at best for fantasy QBs.

I bring this up for two reasons – 1) Because Brees’ career low performance in Atlanta is almost definitely the fantasy performance that killed the most people’s chances this week; and 2) Because as someone who has Peyton Manning leading his team into the first round of the playoffs this week, I am terrified. But let’s go ahead and check out who we love and who we especially loathe this week, and share your own awful stories in the comments.

I guess I’m comfortable with Luck in this category now. He’s been close to spectacular in most of his games (save for the one played on Thursday). As for the rest, there were very few awesome performances from the guys we drafted early, which is very disappointing for this late in the season.

I realize that Lynch, Ridley and Spiller have relatively low point totals, but those are the numbers that I would have basically expected from them. Like QBs, it wasn’t exactly a banner week for our elite RBs.

A lot of WRs had great games this week, but a lot of WRs were awful. That seems to be par for the course this season. But Dez Bryant… man, that dude has me ticked off. Did you see his whole “I’m just getting warmed up” routine? Where was that in Week 1? Forget fantasy numbers and him helping to sink my auction league team, I guarantee that’s a question that Dallas Cowboys fans are asking.

Obviously, I feel no sorrow for anyone who gets double digits out of any player on their team. But we also expect more from Brady and Rodgers. I certainly expect more from Ryan, as his poor performances over the past few weeks have basically tanked my keeper team, as I hang on to the final playoff spot. I can’t wait til he’s benched for rest, too.

This list is way too long. The biggest concerns have to lie with Foster and Rice, because the former might lose carries to rest and the latter just isn’t being used properly. But I’d also be worried about Martin and the rookie wall.

I included Romo here, because I guarantee if you were playing against Romo this week, you were thinking, “Oh there’s no way he drops more than 15 on me”, and Foles was a nice surprise because you’d think that Andy Reid would be running the hell out of the ball with…

What happens when LeSean McCoy comes back? I say he doesn’t come back at all this season, which is a whole different nightmare for fantasy owners who used the No. 2 or 3 pick on McCoy and couldn’t get Brown.

no one did me dirty this week.. but for the season, Darren McFadden has royally effed me in the butthole. If he doesn’t play again this Thursday I have to start Bilal freakin Powell at RB2 in the first round of the playoffs.

despite starting brees over luck this week, i still pulled out the win for the number 1 seed. also just realized i have the most points scored overall, and the least scored against. those are numbers i can get behind!

Just fuck fantasy football generally this year. I finished with the second highest point total in the league, 100 points more than the next team. I FINISHED FUCKING 9TH OUT OF 14 TEAMS AND OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS. I lost the last 4 games in a row to teams that each outscored their average by at least 30 in our game. Cam Newton brought my opponent back from 40 down last Monday night to beat me by .4 points. I still had a chance to make the playoffs this week, but I lost my game because Bryce Fucking Brown put up 30 on me and in the other matchup that could have gotten me in, Hakeem Nicks could only manage 5.55 points instead of the 6.56 that he needed in order to win that game and get me in on the tiebreaker. Fantasy football can go straight to hell.

I know they aren’t a sexy market, thus they don’t get any respect from ESPN because nobody watches their games, but, Russell Wilson putting 30 in FF really shouldn’t be a surprise anymore. In spite of his tattoos, this cat can play.

Love,

Thatsamare.

PS: I swear to Aries, if one more dipshit commentator tries to make Wilson’s height an issue as to why he over threw a ball or missed an open receiver, they are going to get kicked in the nuts. It’s such a piss off.