Green Room

Pack of monkeys threaten Joe Biden

I’m not sure about you guys, but monkeys freak me the hell out. They’re way too close to humans for my comfort and have the advantage because they don’t talk. I always wonder, “What are these little demon creatures thinking?”

The security around Joe Biden’s visit to India may be among the tightest in the world, but it faced an unanticipated threat during the U.S. vice president’s first engagement — a pack of monkeys.

Mr. Biden started a four-day visit to India Monday with a trip to the Gandhi Smriti, a memorial to the leader of India’s freedom movement at the site where he was assassinated in New Delhi in 1948.

In what could be described as bad timing, about a dozen adult monkeys–some with babies in tow– took a fancy to thick clusters of raw mangoes hanging on a tree above a tall statue of Gandhi, just before the American dignitary was due to reach the spot on his carefully choreographed walkabout of the site.

But, oblivious to the high-profile visit going on beneath them, the creatures gamboled on the branches swinging from one to another, bombarding the area around Gandhi’s statue with unripe mangoes as they bit into the raw fruit and discarded the leftovers. Then three of the monkeys suddenly swept down from the branches on to a 10-foot high bamboo frame, covered with a white cloth, erected as a backdrop to the statue.

“What I don’t want is a mango to drop on the vice president when he comes here,” said an Indian security official as he warily eyed the furry creatures, who are regarded by many in the Indian capital as a menace.

Blowback

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Biden is an idiot. These are wild animals that are in regular contact with people, almost always without incident. Simply give them space when they are near their food, and they will leave you alone–unless you are openly displaying your own edibles.

Setting up under their mango tree? Only a dumbass like Biden would be so foolish.

Monkeys are worshiped in India as creatures of the Hindu monkey God, Hanuman. They are given the free run of things. There’s an occasional series on cable called Rebel Monkeys following a troop of Rhesus Macaques in Jaipur. They’d have been destroyed as nuisances here, but they get away with all sorts of things there.

Know the hazards when you visit a foreign country.
Years ago, BigSven was accosted by a marauding band of macaques inside the gun tunnels of Gibraltar …was rather chaotic, very noisy and unexpeced…BigSven survived

In Bangkok, especially in wee hours late night, dog packs will stalk you if you look like a victim and appear “timid”…

In Manila huge rats, 15inch+ just the body, not incld tail, will visit your hotel rooms (yes, even the $300 a night ones)while you sleep. Tip: ALWAYS Check entire room, especially aircondtioner vent areas and bathrooms for any holes or crevices that are unexplained or unblocked.

Maybe the State Department will now post ‘practical info’ in their consular remarks about such things, now since VP Biden had a brush with ‘real life’ for a change..;)