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Overview

Using group discussion, and reader activities, this interactive and user-friendly "workbook" teaches readers practical skills for dealing with everyday situations. It balances coverage of theoretical concepts and research with interesting personal stories, anecdotes, and case studies, and applies theoretical concepts throughout. The author's counseling background and sense of humor in dealing with serious subjects encourages readers to try new behaviors in a safe environment. Students are given opportunities for practicing new skills in improving human relations. The volume addresses all aspects of human relations including laying the foundation, self awareness, dealing with emotions, family influences, developing close relationships and human sexuality, as well as coping skills, life changes and positive living. For individuals interested in improving human relations.

Related Subjects

Meet the Author

Loren Ford earned his master’s degree in psychology from California State University, Long Beach in 1974 and did additional graduate work in the 1980s at the Oregon Graduate School for Professional Psychology. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Oregon with a private practice. In the past 30 years he has worked at several mental health facilities doing therapy with adolescents and families. From 1977 to 2011 he was on the faculty at Clackamas Community College in Oregon City, Oregon, teaching courses on personal development, human relations, college success, life-span human development, human sexuality, introduction to counselling, and history.

Judith Arter has degrees in mathematics (B.S., University of California, San Diego,1971), and special education (Masters and Ph.D., University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana, 1975 and 1976). After two years working in the research department of Phoenix Unified High School District, she spent 33 years (at Education Northwest and the Assessment Training Institute in Portland, Oregon) researching and training educators at all levels and in several countries on student assessment, focusing especially on using student assessment as an instructional methodology (formative assessment). She is the co-author of numerous publications and books including Classroom Assessment for Student Learning: Doing It Right and Using It Well, 2e (Pearson, in press), and Creating and Recognizing Quality Rubrics (Pearson, 2006).

Preface

It has been over 10 years now since I first started work on this book. My initial effort was in many ways motivated by my desire to "walk the talk" and take on a personal challenge. In my course on human relations, I frequently ask students to expand their comfort zone and consider learning new behavior. I have always enjoyed telling stories and interacting with students in the classroom. Writing, though, was not an activity that I had a strong attraction to; but it represented an opportunity to take a risk, stretch my abilities, and gain self-discipline in the process.

My students were the ones that encouraged me to write down my stories and lectures. Over the years, I have continued to receive feedback on how they think it is an interesting book and how they often pass it on to family and friends. It was my goal originally to provide a text that would reach out and grab people and get them intrigued with the possibilities of personal exploration. I continue to take it as a compliment that many students say that this is one of the books they are going to keep at the end of the term.

With that encouragement, I am excited to be offering this third edition of Human Relations: A Game Plan for Improving Personal Adjustment. Although there have been some changes to the order of the content, and new concepts added, the emphasis and focus of the book remain the same. While providing the academic subjects that are necessary for a greater understanding of human relations, the content is presented, as much as possible, in an informal and personal manner. It is important to learn how current research applies to human interactions, yet most of us are concernedwith how that research will improve the quality of our lives and lead to more satisfying relations with the people we care about and are close to.

My intent is to make learning about and improving human relations enjoyable, yet there is also the part of the journey of self-exploration that requires presenting concepts that apply to serious, significant aspects of life. This book offers the opportunity to look at some of the areas of life where self-examination and needed changes may not always be easy. I try to balance that seriousness by maintaining a sense of humor, even while dealing with those subjects that are challenging. People often learn best when theory is combined with stories, examples, and humorous anecdotes from everyday life. Many people in the field of mental health believe that being well balanced means keeping things in perspective. As you explore the information offered, I hope you will keep the following in mind: Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

There is always the temptation to include as much academic research and theory as possible, but I feel it is important to balance that with the expectations and needs of the students. I have sat through enough psychology classes to know what it is like to have an instructor teach a course on human behavior as if there were no human beings in the classroom. Therefore, I have tried to balance relevant research and theoretical concepts with interesting anecdotes, case studies, and discussion opportunities to actively engage students.

And it is my students who have given me the opportunity to continue to grow and change. Human Relations is my attempt to remind myself what it is that I know and yet sometimes forget. We all can use reminders, at times, of the lessons that we need to learn—and relearn. It is my students and this course that remind me that often, "We teach best what we most need to learn."

Objectives of a Human Relations Course

A human relations course should teach practical skills for dealing with everyday situations. Because we tend to learn and remember things that require active participation, this book is designed for a course that encourages personal involvement in the quest for self-discovery.

Although covering a broad range of topics is an ambitious task, I think it is important to address as many pertinent topics as possible in an introductory course. This gives students and instructors flexibility in deciding which subjects to pursue in greater depth. Most human relations texts cover the areas of communication, self-concept, assertiveness, and conflict management, but it is also useful to include such topics as personality development, family relations, parenting, sexuality, and coping skills.

During the past 26 years of teaching Human Relations 101, I have discovered particular rhythms and cycles to teaching in a college setting. This text presents topics in a manner consistent with the cycles within the term or semester, and it also incorporates the group dynamics of a classroom into the process and content of the course. Most texts put topics in a logical order that makes sense when reading the book independent of a class, but some topics can be introduced only after the class has reached a particular point of readiness. Over the years, I have developed a curriculum that is based, in part, on my feeling about how topics naturally overlap and build on previously presented material.

Pedagogical Features of the Text

Each chapter ends with a chapter review section and a list of resources and suggested readings for additional information. This is followed by a reaction and response section of exercises and activities that give students the opportunity to apply the information from the text to personal situations. The questions and activities are divided into Level I and Level II assignments. In this edition, Level I includes specific questions that pertain to the material presented in the chapters, as well as general questions about class activities and discussions. Level II questions are intended to give students the opportunity to respond on a more personal level as to how they are going to use and apply the information in their lives.

To further encourage active learning on the part of the students, numerous question-and-answer sections, now labeled "Questions for Critical Thinking," are included. Space is provided for students to write brief answers that should help with the Level I and II assignments. Various feature articles, poems, and anecdotes are highlighted throughout the text to create interest and promote introspective thinking, and numerous figures and illustrations are included as well.

Organization of the Text

Part 1: Laying the Foundation

The first three chapters are designed to help people get to know themselves better, while building relationships with others in the class. The topics presented are general psychological concepts that apply to everyday life. The ideas presented also lay the foundation for how to explore and use the material presented in the rest of the text.

Chapter One, "Reaching Out," deals with improving communication skills, using positive "self-talk," and overcoming shyness and fears. The chapter also discusses the importance of committing to the process of learning and taking action to get results. This edition includes a greatly expanded section on diversity, gender, and multiculturalism. The material in the diversity section provides information about how to view the content of subsequent sections in a new light.

Chapter Two, "Self-Awareness," is about self-concept and the importance of learning more about ourselves, including aspects of ourselves that we may avoid or keep hidden. The chapter includes information about self-disclosure, the shadow self, the masks people wear, and the importance of attention and physical contact. Information is provided about locus of control and its relationship to self-concept. A revised section on improving self-esteem has been added. New material is presented regarding cognitive restructuring as a part of increased self-esteem.

Chapter Three, "Expanding Comfort Zones," provides the opportunity to learn about comfort zones, taking risks, understanding personality, developing character, challenging self-defeating behavior patterns and limiting beliefs, and developing character and accountability. Assertiveness is presented in this chapter; the topic is appropriate because the common theme of the chapter encourages expanding boundaries. The intention for introducing the topic in this chapter is to provide information that helps students express their opinions and define their own beliefs. New information has been added on the "Big Five" personality variables.

Part II: Building Together

Part II moves the text discussion to a more personal level. These four chapters examine the origins of beliefs that affect behavior in a variety of different situations.

Chapter Four, "Family Influences," explores the influence of the family of origin, including the implications of birth order for the roles we play, and issues that arise in stepfamilies. The chapter also outlines the elements of a functional family and the complications of living in a dysfunctional family. A new section has been added on the history of the family, with information based on the 2000 Census. New information is presented comparing beliefs about how families have operated in the past and what they will need in the future. Consideration is given to the changing face of the American family. Also, a new section has been added on race, culture, and the family.

Chapter Five, "Dealing with Emotions," presents a number of building blocks that help to develop greater emotional control and challenge thought patterns and irrational beliefs. Theories of emotion are presented, along with practical suggestions for greater emotional control. It is important to have the flexibility to know when to express your emotions and to what degree. The chapter covers a range of emotional responses—anger, sadness, excitement, and joy—pointing out that much of our training in dealing with emotions takes place during the formative years in our family of origin. There is a new section presented on defense mechanisms that explores the connection with the material on thought distortions.

Chapter Six, "Developing Close Relationships," studies attraction, mate selection, and marriage. More theories are offered about attraction in this edition. Information and discussions cover the difficulties in achieving intimacy, codependent relationships, and aspects of successful relationships. Information from John Gottman is included on how to create and maintain a successful marriage. New material is presented from David Snarch on the importance of differentiation in establishing a healthy relationship. The importance of developing and maintaining friendships is also discussed.

Chapter Seven, "Human Sexuality," examines social and cultural influences on sexual behavior, highlighting the fact that many beliefs about sexuality are influenced by how the topic is approached within the family system. The subjects of sexual abuse, homosexuality, and sexually transmitted infections are also covered. An updated section has been added on the importance of understanding what constitutes sexual harassment, and updated information on AIDS has been added. New material has been added on sex education in the United States.

Part III: Meeting the World

The three chapters in this part explore specific issues that most people will have to confront at one time or another in everyday life. This part focuses more on the external variables in human relations. It deals with the specific skills needed to deal with issues that arise over the course of one's life.

Chapter Eight, "Coping Skills," describes self-defeating behavior patterns and provides new coping strategies. The chapter also encourages students to consider changes that could be made as a result of having new choices. Sections on stress management and conflict management have been updated in this edition, because both are important coping skills. Information on how to get professional help, and when that might be appropriate, is also included.

Chapter Nine, "Life Changes," portrays the inevitability of change and loss as a developmental aspect of human relations and offers guidelines for dealing with life passages and transitions. Information is offered about the affects of our rapidly changing society, and means for dealing with the transitions that will occur in life are suggested. New topics related to health and well-being are also included in this chapter.

Chapter Ten, "Positive Living," starts with a new section on the importance of values clarification and the benefits of having meaning and purpose in life. This chapter also includes theories of career development and discusses the significance of having a balance between work and leisure. The chapter suggests ways to maintain the changes that have been accomplished as students have progressed through the course, emphasizing the fact that personal changes usually require a certain degree of commitment. The final sections focus on the importance of achieving life satisfaction, caring for yourself and others, and approaching the world with forgiveness and love.

Supplements

An Instructor's Manual with Tests is available, including course outlines, schedules, and suggestions for promoting class participation and discussion of the material in the text. The Instructor's Manual provides numerous activities and exercises that students can do in class, with information about group follow-up, and also includes a test bank of multiple-choice and true-false questions. The test bank is also available on a 3X-inch disc in the following formats:

Introduction

It has been over 10 years now since I first started work on this book. My initial effort was in many ways motivated by my desire to "walk the talk" and take on a personal challenge. In my course on human relations, I frequently ask students to expand their comfort zone and consider learning new behavior. I have always enjoyed telling stories and interacting with students in the classroom. Writing, though, was not an activity that I had a strong attraction to; but it represented an opportunity to take a risk, stretch my abilities, and gain self-discipline in the process.

My students were the ones that encouraged me to write down my stories and lectures. Over the years, I have continued to receive feedback on how they think it is an interesting book and how they often pass it on to family and friends. It was my goal originally to provide a text that would reach out and grab people and get them intrigued with the possibilities of personal exploration. I continue to take it as a compliment that many students say that this is one of the books they are going to keep at the end of the term.

With that encouragement, I am excited to be offering this third edition of Human Relations: A Game Plan for Improving Personal Adjustment. Although there have been some changes to the order of the content, and new concepts added, the emphasis and focus of the book remain the same. While providing the academic subjects that are necessary for a greater understanding of human relations, the content is presented, as much as possible, in an informal and personal manner. It is important to learn how current research applies to human interactions, yet most of us are concerned withhow that research will improve the quality of our lives and lead to more satisfying relations with the people we care about and are close to.

My intent is to make learning about and improving human relations enjoyable, yet there is also the part of the journey of self-exploration that requires presenting concepts that apply to serious, significant aspects of life. This book offers the opportunity to look at some of the areas of life where self-examination and needed changes may not always be easy. I try to balance that seriousness by maintaining a sense of humor, even while dealing with those subjects that are challenging. People often learn best when theory is combined with stories, examples, and humorous anecdotes from everyday life. Many people in the field of mental health believe that being well balanced means keeping things in perspective. As you explore the information offered, I hope you will keep the following in mind: Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

There is always the temptation to include as much academic research and theory as possible, but I feel it is important to balance that with the expectations and needs of the students. I have sat through enough psychology classes to know what it is like to have an instructor teach a course on human behavior as if there were no human beings in the classroom. Therefore, I have tried to balance relevant research and theoretical concepts with interesting anecdotes, case studies, and discussion opportunities to actively engage students.

And it is my students who have given me the opportunity to continue to grow and change. Human Relations is my attempt to remind myself what it is that I know and yet sometimes forget. We all can use reminders, at times, of the lessons that we need to learn—and relearn. It is my students and this course that remind me that often, "We teach best what we most need to learn."

Objectives of a Human Relations Course

A human relations course should teach practical skills for dealing with everyday situations. Because we tend to learn and remember things that require active participation, this book is designed for a course that encourages personal involvement in the quest for self-discovery.

Although covering a broad range of topics is an ambitious task, I think it is important to address as many pertinent topics as possible in an introductory course. This gives students and instructors flexibility in deciding which subjects to pursue in greater depth. Most human relations texts cover the areas of communication, self-concept, assertiveness, and conflict management, but it is also useful to include such topics as personality development, family relations, parenting, sexuality, and coping skills.

During the past 26 years of teaching Human Relations 101, I have discovered particular rhythms and cycles to teaching in a college setting. This text presents topics in a manner consistent with the cycles within the term or semester, and it also incorporates the group dynamics of a classroom into the process and content of the course. Most texts put topics in a logical order that makes sense when reading the book independent of a class, but some topics can be introduced only after the class has reached a particular point of readiness. Over the years, I have developed a curriculum that is based, in part, on my feeling about how topics naturally overlap and build on previously presented material.

Pedagogical Features of the Text

Each chapter ends with a chapter review section and a list of resources and suggested readings for additional information. This is followed by a reaction and response section of exercises and activities that give students the opportunity to apply the information from the text to personal situations. The questions and activities are divided into Level I and Level II assignments. In this edition, Level I includes specific questions that pertain to the material presented in the chapters, as well as general questions about class activities and discussions. Level II questions are intended to give students the opportunity to respond on a more personal level as to how they are going to use and apply the information in their lives.

To further encourage active learning on the part of the students, numerous question-and-answer sections, now labeled "Questions for Critical Thinking," are included. Space is provided for students to write brief answers that should help with the Level I and II assignments. Various feature articles, poems, and anecdotes are highlighted throughout the text to create interest and promote introspective thinking, and numerous figures and illustrations are included as well.

Organization of the Text

Part 1: Laying the Foundation

The first three chapters are designed to help people get to know themselves better, while building relationships with others in the class. The topics presented are general psychological concepts that apply to everyday life. The ideas presented also lay the foundation for how to explore and use the material presented in the rest of the text.

Chapter One, "Reaching Out," deals with improving communication skills, using positive "self-talk," and overcoming shyness and fears. The chapter also discusses the importance of committing to the process of learning and taking action to get results. This edition includes a greatly expanded section on diversity, gender, and multiculturalism. The material in the diversity section provides information about how to view the content of subsequent sections in a new light.

Chapter Two, "Self-Awareness," is about self-concept and the importance of learning more about ourselves, including aspects of ourselves that we may avoid or keep hidden. The chapter includes information about self-disclosure, the shadow self, the masks people wear, and the importance of attention and physical contact. Information is provided about locus of control and its relationship to self-concept. A revised section on improving self-esteem has been added. New material is presented regarding cognitive restructuring as a part of increased self-esteem.

Chapter Three, "Expanding Comfort Zones," provides the opportunity to learn about comfort zones, taking risks, understanding personality, developing character, challenging self-defeating behavior patterns and limiting beliefs, and developing character and accountability. Assertiveness is presented in this chapter; the topic is appropriate because the common theme of the chapter encourages expanding boundaries. The intention for introducing the topic in this chapter is to provide information that helps students express their opinions and define their own beliefs. New information has been added on the "Big Five" personality variables.

Part II: Building Together

Part II moves the text discussion to a more personal level. These four chapters examine the origins of beliefs that affect behavior in a variety of different situations.

Chapter Four, "Family Influences," explores the influence of the family of origin, including the implications of birth order for the roles we play, and issues that arise in stepfamilies. The chapter also outlines the elements of a functional family and the complications of living in a dysfunctional family. A new section has been added on the history of the family, with information based on the 2000 Census. New information is presented comparing beliefs about how families have operated in the past and what they will need in the future. Consideration is given to the changing face of the American family. Also, a new section has been added on race, culture, and the family.

Chapter Five, "Dealing with Emotions," presents a number of building blocks that help to develop greater emotional control and challenge thought patterns and irrational beliefs. Theories of emotion are presented, along with practical suggestions for greater emotional control. It is important to have the flexibility to know when to express your emotions and to what degree. The chapter covers a range of emotional responses—anger, sadness, excitement, and joy—pointing out that much of our training in dealing with emotions takes place during the formative years in our family of origin. There is a new section presented on defense mechanisms that explores the connection with the material on thought distortions.

Chapter Six, "Developing Close Relationships," studies attraction, mate selection, and marriage. More theories are offered about attraction in this edition. Information and discussions cover the difficulties in achieving intimacy, codependent relationships, and aspects of successful relationships. Information from John Gottman is included on how to create and maintain a successful marriage. New material is presented from David Snarch on the importance of differentiation in establishing a healthy relationship. The importance of developing and maintaining friendships is also discussed.

Chapter Seven, "Human Sexuality," examines social and cultural influences on sexual behavior, highlighting the fact that many beliefs about sexuality are influenced by how the topic is approached within the family system. The subjects of sexual abuse, homosexuality, and sexually transmitted infections are also covered. An updated section has been added on the importance of understanding what constitutes sexual harassment, and updated information on AIDS has been added. New material has been added on sex education in the United States.

Part III: Meeting the World

The three chapters in this part explore specific issues that most people will have to confront at one time or another in everyday life. This part focuses more on the external variables in human relations. It deals with the specific skills needed to deal with issues that arise over the course of one's life.

Chapter Eight, "Coping Skills," describes self-defeating behavior patterns and provides new coping strategies. The chapter also encourages students to consider changes that could be made as a result of having new choices. Sections on stress management and conflict management have been updated in this edition, because both are important coping skills. Information on how to get professional help, and when that might be appropriate, is also included.

Chapter Nine, "Life Changes," portrays the inevitability of change and loss as a developmental aspect of human relations and offers guidelines for dealing with life passages and transitions. Information is offered about the affects of our rapidly changing society, and means for dealing with the transitions that will occur in life are suggested. New topics related to health and well-being are also included in this chapter.

Chapter Ten, "Positive Living," starts with a new section on the importance of values clarification and the benefits of having meaning and purpose in life. This chapter also includes theories of career development and discusses the significance of having a balance between work and leisure. The chapter suggests ways to maintain the changes that have been accomplished as students have progressed through the course, emphasizing the fact that personal changes usually require a certain degree of commitment. The final sections focus on the importance of achieving life satisfaction, caring for yourself and others, and approaching the world with forgiveness and love.

Supplements

An Instructor's Manual with Tests is available, including course outlines, schedules, and suggestions for promoting class participation and discussion of the material in the text. The Instructor's Manual provides numerous activities and exercises that students can do in class, with information about group follow-up, and also includes a test bank of multiple-choice and true-false questions. The test bank is also available on a 3X-inch disc in the following formats:

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