Andy Parsons
A cross between Ming the Merciless and Robbie the Seal from Pingu

THE BLOG

Ten Great Places To Sit and Do Nothing

21/11/2013 16:43 GMT
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Updated
25/01/2014 21:01 GMT

There's all these guides now such as 1001 places you must visit before you die, 1001 books you must read before you die, 1001 movies you must see before you die. Stuff 'em. If you're feeling more Slacker than Activist, see if you can't amble slowly towards one of these chillout zones, but if you're finding it a struggle - have a lie down.

1. The Bar and Kitchen, Alexandra Palace

Set on a hill giving a breath-taking view across London - sit and look at all the things you could be doing, and do none of them.

2. Botanical Gardens, Edinburgh

The Edinburgh Festival Fringe - the largest Arts Festival in the world. When you're show-weary and hill-tired, find a secluded bench and get a free hit of excess oxygen. And maybe have a tuck-in at the café. And then back to the bench for seconds.

3. Norfolk Broads

Get a barge. Maximum speed is 4mph. Reaction times do not have to be at their sharpest and probably won't be. And the best thing about the Norfolk Broads there are no locks to negotiate - so you can sit and do nothing for miles and miles and miles.

4. Tan Hill Inn, Swaledale, Yorkshire Dales

The highest pub in England. People were snowed in here for three days at New Year a couple of years ago. I bet it was brilliant. It would have been impossible to do anything - and you'd have had time to try all the drinks in the pub. They'd have been gradually running out and by day three, you'd have been enjoying a Kahlua and bitter lemon with a Crème de Menthe chaser. And when all the crème de menthe had gone - there would have been nothing else for it but to have a pint of Fosters.

5. The National Needle Museum, Redditch

I've never been but I can't imagine it's over-populated. Apparently, they have a collection of beautiful and unusual needles and they demonstrate what needles were used for throughout the ages. You'd think even the worst insomniac would be able to get forty winks out of that.

6. Scilly Isles

This one is easy. There is nothing to be done. See if you can laze about better than the puffins, dolphins and minke whales. You'll struggle to do less than the seals - they can lie on the rocks forever contemplating their blubber and dreaming of a fishing rod so that they'd never even have to move.

7. Sacred Field, Glastonbury

Find a spot near the stone circle and look down over the entire Festival. Sometimes there's so much to do and see it can be overwhelming. Have a nap. You deserve it. You've got to sleep in a tent.

8. Burrator Reservoir, Devon

My grandparents were very fond of going places, sitting in the car, having a cup of tea whilst enjoying the view - and then not getting out of the car at all, before going home. They were champion idlers. This was one of their favourites.

9. Waterloo Bridge, Christmas Day

Terry meets Julie every Friday night. But not on Christmas Day. There's nobody around. Look up and down the river and feel you've got the capital to yourself. Then go and have a pint of winter warmer in the Founders Arms.

10. A shower. Anywhere.

Make it a long one. You get the right power shower it can feel like a head and back massage at the same time. And nobody can disturb you because the noise and the steam mean you can't hear or see anything. And if anybody really wants to disturb you - well, that can be fun as well.