It turns out, Engquist has a pretty strong case for assault. To mount a defense against said case, the Canucks would probably have to fork over $50,000-$80,000 in legal fees alone, Canada's The Province reports.

At that point, the team would probably consider settling. Engquist would stand to gain $30,000 from the settlement, according to the report.

Now we're left to debate the most outrageous aspect of the story: that the player was slapped with a mere six-game suspension, or that a fan stands to earn $30,000 for being shoved.