One thing Mitt Romney said during the debate that made even President Obama wake up for a minute was his vow to “stop the subsidy to PBS,” even though “I love Big Bird.” (You’d think he would have loved Big Bird’s role in selling $47 million worth of products for the nonprofit Sesame Workshop, but we don’t think that’s what he meant.)

This week, in a contest suggested by Longtime Loser Larry Yungk: Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what could happen, as in Larry’s examples above. Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives, for once from this contest, money. Two cash prizes, in fact: First, a seat cushion of clear plastic — the stiff kind your great-aunt used to cover her nice upholstery with so that no one would hurt the extra-soft and comfortable fabric — stuffed with genuine finely shredded U.S. currency; it’s being regifted right back to the Invitational by Tom Witte, who won it in Week 164 (1996); I cannot guarantee, however, that it has ever actually cushioned the Hall of Fame Loser’s rear end. And we’ll throw in a genuine rubber $100 bill, donated by Dave Prevar. A budget-stretcher. Or a budget stretcher.

Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Oct. 22; results published Nov. 11 (online Nov. 8). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 992” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Kevin Dopart; the alternative headline in the “next week’s results” line is by Tom Witte. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Report from Week 988

in which we asked for ways to speed up or to add excitement to various sports and leisure activities. Lots of people suggested that NBA games begin in the last five minutes, since that’s all that matters anyway. We said we’d be flexible about what constitutes a leisure activity: So: scratching, okay; even watching paint dry, okay. Doing one’s taxes or talking to tech support, no.

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

For speed and excitement: Dog racing: Turn the tables and have the greyhounds chased by genetically modified saber-toothed rabbits. (Martin Bancroft, Rochester, N.Y.)

Divide the football field in half lengthwise, and play both halves at once — with the offense on one team playing the defense of the other. Better sideline views, and more time for tailgating. (Owen Hammett, Lorton, Va., a First Offender)

A golfer has one minute to make a shot before the sprinklers come on. (Dan Steinbrocker, Los Angeles)

Institute 40-second clocks in stadium restrooms. When a stall’s clock expires, someone in a striped uniform bangs on the door, pelts the user with yellow flags and blows his whistle until the person finishes. (Gregory Koch, Storrs, Conn.)

Visit the online discussion group The Style Conversational, in which the Empress discusses today’s new contest and results along with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, write to the Empress at losers@washpost.com (note that in the subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on Facebook, join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees and chime in.

Next week’s results: On the double,or Twainful employment, the contest about having one person have two particular professions.

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Comments our editors find particularly useful or relevant are displayed in Top Comments, as are comments by users with these badges: . Replies to those posts appear here, as well as posts by staff writers.