Haniger's a young guy whose booty has plenty of time to mature. Remember how Griffey went from a lanky, youthful butt to a power patootie? I can see him developing something like Cano-level cakes -- still fit and trim, but with plenty of punch.

James Paxton, P: Triple This Canadian caboose brings the heat....photo-13893186.162994 - |ucfirst

Mike Zunino, C: Grand slam

Zunino has had a rocky-yet-redemptive career with the Mariners, but one thing remains constant: He is the Kim Kardashian of the team. He's got curve, shape, volume, hits all of the bases. Really gives you something to grab onto. Next time you catch the Mariners, behold Zunino's booty. It comes through in the clutch if you like 'em thick.