JEFF EDELSTEIN: Harbaugh brothers? Super Bowl? It's biblical

FILE - In a July 27, 2012 file photo, San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh, left, smiles during a news conference at the teams headquarters in Santa Clara, Calif. At right, in a Jan. 16, 2013 file photo, Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh smiles during a new conference at the teams practice facility in Owings Mills, Md. The Harbaugh's will be the first pair of brothers to coach against each other in the NFL title game. (AP Photo/File)

OK fine, so maybe I convinced my little brother the potted plant in the corner of the family room was poisonous and heíd go blind should he ever so much as brush up against it. Guilty.

And sure, perhaps I played ďbarbershopĒ with him using real scissors. So sue me.

And yes, OK, I admit convincing him he was Chinese (heís not) may not have been my greatest moment. Water under the Yangtze River bridge.

But come on ó what do you expect? I was the older brother (by five solid years) and so yep: He was going to get the short end of the stick. And the long end. Basically, if there was a stick, I was going to beat him with it.

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Today, weíre adults, and itís abundantly clear my terrorizing of him as a child has left no lifelong scars. Heís fine now, even allowed out on weekends. (Rimshot, please!) But yes. Heís fine. More than fine. Finemore. Heís a successful husband and father with a robust, highly lucrative career doing something I have no idea. Itís with computers and the stock market Ö I donít know. Doesnít matter. What does matter is this: Old habits die hard. So when I see him ó he lives out west ó we sometimes slip into our old roles. Or, more precisely, Iíll slip into my old role. Iím big brother, hear me roar!

Of course, as weíve grown older and the actual age difference between us becomes less of a factor, heís prone to surprising me at times. Like a few years ago when I was giving him a good one-two and he decided to go three-four on me and lift me up into a firemanís carry, spin me around, and drop me to the ground. Was it a shock? I suppose it was. But even then Ö I donít know. I stood up, dusted myself off, wiped the tears from eyes, and remained: The big brother.

Now, while the Harbaugh brothers are only a year apart, Iíd bet my brotherís bottom dollar that growing up, the John the Elder was still the big brother over Jim the Younger. Thereís just no way it could be any different. Big brothers lord over little brothers. Period.

Look at Cain and Abel, for instance, mankindís first brothers. Quick Q&A Ö

1) Whoís the older brother? Cain.

2) Who gets royally pissed off at his younger brother, Abel? Cain.

3) Who gives atomic wedgies to Abel until he kills him? Cain.

This is historical fact, people. Unarguable and unassailable. Trust me. IĎm an older brother, and so I know.

And so my point, in case youíre a dopey little brother and havenít guessed by now, is take the Ravens +4. You wonít even need the points. There is no way on Lombardiís great green Earth younger brother Jim defeats older brother John. Of course, I know itís the players who will ultimately decide the fates of the brothers, but Iím telling you: No way an older brother lets his younger brother beat him on a stage like this. No way, no chance, no how.

Now as I said earlier, younger brothers are known for surprise, so anything can happen, but believe me: In the back of young Jim Harbaughís mind rests the possibility that he might, in fact, be Chinese.