Control the money in the relationship by taking your money or Social Security check, making you ask for money or refusing to give you money.

Make all of the decisions

Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away your children

Prevent you from working or attending school

Act like the abuse is no big deal, deny the abuse or tell you it’s your own fault

Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets

Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons

Attempt to force you to drop criminal charges

Threaten to commit suicide, or threaten to kill you

If any of these seem familiar to you, you may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

The Power & Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by a batterer to establish and maintain control over his partner. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.