Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Some writer asks, "What, I thought, had become of modern man's chivalry?"

The answer:

1) They weren't raised to be gentleman;

2) Or maybe they were, or figured it out somewhere, but they're too afraid we'll punch them in the face. And that it'll hurt.

There you go. Can't really do anything about number 1. Number 2? Well, try not being scary. It is possible to be a strong woman without being a freakin' scowly get the F outta my way, pathetic male, Klingon woman (you could be, say, secretly Shaolin. And you wouldn't have to flaunt it!). That might help. The end.

The writer also says, "The difficulty for many of today's career women is that in order to compete with men, we've morphed into them."

Retard. We threw out the 1980s shoulderpads that ate Tokyo ages ago. You should have taken the hint.

Honestly, the problem isn't that career women are too confident, it's that some of them AREN'T and they're compensating by being "career oriented," which in this case really means being annoying (harsh, bitchy, rude, domineering, etc.). Yes, go have a fulfilling career. And then chill the fuck out.

By the way, the author lists these things as making her feel masculine: "Working full-time, making every decision, paying every bill, driving myself everywhere, booking tickets for holidays, lugging the Christmas tree in - it's all completely de-feminising."

Oh dear. See, this is a problem, too. Let's go over this item by item.

Working full-time - there's something in the Bible about how a good (Jewish) woman does all kinds of stuff like managing the land and stuff. Go read it.

Making every decision - If you don't want to do that, you can probably find a man to do it for you. But that would be lame. Grow up.

Paying every bill - That's a good idea. BTW, in the mostly traditional division of labor at my house, my mom does this.

Driving myself everywhere - sorry you can't afford a chauffeur. You could move to a city with mass transit, I guess.

Booking tickets for holidays - Yeah, you know, every time I do that, I think, damn, where has my femininity gone?

Lugging the Christmas tree in - Yeah, that's really "men's work." WTF??? Shut up and pick up the damn tree.

Apparently, this woman's problem is that she DOESN'T KNOW what being feminine is.

As that is clearly the case, I suggest, once again, chilling the fuck out, and just trying to get along with people. Be assertive when necessary. Sometimes, defer to others and let them feel like they have value (do you REALLY care where you end up going to lunch? Let Bob choose today. It's okay. It doesn't mean you're submitting to patriarchy).

The writer ended up going to a consultant (THIS is what I should be doing with my life! I should be a femininity consultant!) who said, "Femininity is all about being relaxed with yourself." Thank you.

And then she goes to see a Botox guy (bc BOTOX iz t3h 53x!), who actually has some good things to say: "Interestingly, Dr Sebagh says that his happiest clients are in their 50s and 60s.'They are in touch with what matters in their life. They want men for companionship, not some lifestyle choice. 'They have souls and are far more authentic.'"

Um, of course they want men for companionship. Isn't that the point of dating?

Some psychologist said the following: "'The feminine principle is about allowing things to unfold and happen, not always interfering. 'Career women think that they have to be in control to make it happen, but if they stop and tap into some kind of emotional intelligence and empathy, it makes them better problem-solvers.'According to Allen, you cannot have true success or a successful relationship without the balance of masculine and feminine: 'The reason career women feel lonely within themselves and often have a deep sense of failure is because they are not connected to their hearts. 'I'm not saying career women should chuck it all away, but if they connect to things that really matter to them, if they start to appreciate little beautiful things every day - literally stop and smell the roses - then what they will have to offer will be really quite profound.'"

BALANCE. That would help.

I think femininity is being at peace with yourself. The feminine things, whatever they are, things like being compassionate and intuitive and strong without being OMGMUSTCONTROLEVERYTHING, will then come naturally.

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On May 18, 2006, I graduated from college with a major in English and a minor in Japanese, a language I can't speak to save the life of a small furry robot. Having decided that 18 years of school was more than enough to drive me crazy, I entered the "real world" of jobs and commuting. But 13 months in my brain, sick of me using it only to type in hotkeys and play Zelda, gave me an ultimatum: "You quit, or I do."
So I think I'm going back to school.