Man burns penis after having sex with Domino’s pizza, complains on Twitter

It’s undeniable that pizza is one of the best things on the planet; even so, it’s maybe not the best idea to have sex with it. Even if you really want to, take the proper precautions, and are in love. Because it’s hot. And you should just eat it.

Unfortunately, one man allegedly did, and burned his penis, and demanded a refund from the crappy chain pizzeria on Twitter, in all caps. Adding to the strangeness, some poor social media manager (or unpaid intern) had to then carry out a conversation with the injured man from the brand’s account. Social media is changing the world, you guys. People can finally speak truth to power. It’s like the Arab spring, except involving a guy who fucked a pizza.

What follows is his inexplicable Twitter conversation with Domino’s.

.@Dominos_UK HELLO I’VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.