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Wong was born in San Francisco, California, the son of Roberta Christine (née Leong), a telephone company supervisor, and William D. Wong, a longtime postal worker. He has one older and one younger brother.[1][2] He is of Chinese descent.[3] Wong attended Lincoln High School, where he discovered his love of acting and starred as the lead in numerous school plays, before attending San Francisco State University.

In 2008, he starred in the one-man show Herringbone, in which he portrays 12 roles, at the McCarter Theatre at Princeton University. He brought the show to the La Jolla Playhouse in San Diego the following year.[6] In 2012, Wong starred in Herringbone to benefit Dixon Place in New York for two performances. The production, recorded live for a 2014 CD release,[7] was his first appearance in New York of the material, timed with the 30th anniversary of the original New York production.[8]

In 2014, Wong starred in the U.S. premiere of James Fenton’s acclaimed adaptation of The Orphan of Zhao, a classic Chinese legend that has its roots in the fourth century BCE, directed by Carey Perloff at American Conservatory Theater (A.C.T.).[9]The Orphan of Zhao is an epic story of self-sacrifice and revenge. In the aftermath of a political coup, a country doctor is forced to sacrifice his own son in order to save the last heir of a noble and massacred clan. The Orphan of Zhao was a co-production with La Jolla Playhouse.[10]

Wong announced his departure from the cast of Law & Order: SVU in July 2011, to join another NBC police drama, Awake, where he portrayed Dr. Johnathan Lee, a confrontational therapist of an LAPD detective (portrayed by Jason Isaacs) who lived in two realities.[11][12] Wong guest starred in a thirteenth season episode of Law & Order: SVU titled "Father Dearest" (which aired May 2, 2012).[13]

Wong began a long-term relationship with talent agent Richie Jackson in 1988.[16] In 2000, the couple had twin sons: Boaz Dov, who died 90 minutes after birth, and Jackson Foo Wong. They were born through a surrogate mother, using Wong's sperm and an egg donated by Jackson's sister. In 2003, Wong wrote a memoir about his experiences with surrogacy titled Following Foo: the Electronic Adventures of the Chestnut Man. Wong and Jackson ended their relationship in 2004.[16]