Don't matter where you live or where ever you go, there is no getting away from the deafening noise in thailand, the fear of seeing those tube fluorescent different coloured light bulbs. you just know your in for a noisy time.

Whether it's a wedding funeral or a party, you know your in for a sleepless night, be it two kilometers away or more, the noise from the base music is still deafening. Where i live is normally very quite, but when the noise comes, it's just toooooo loud

Those of you that live near a temple or a school or even close to the PYB, will know exactly what i mean. If you go to a party you can't even hear what the person next to you is saying, but that's ok if a local drunk is practising his english on you. Even in places like Big C, lovely cute little sales girl (Oh! wouldni just) and there she is screaming down a microphone, have you noticed they don't stop for breath, Amazing how they do it.

ARR! feel better now

PS: before the F.O.H. brigade arrive, of course Thailand is better for me to live than my home country, in fact Thailand is Like A Broken Drum "YOU JUST CAN'T BEAT IT"

on the subject of noise - loud music has p*ssed me of on a number of occasions at the beach and if i wanted to dig a hole in the sand i would use a bucket n spade, these guys used there car Who in there right mind would want to draw attention to themselves by blasting out loud music at 3am in the morning, getting drunk in charge of a vehicle.

Rising tide leaves drunk’s pickup sunk in Phuket sand

It took more than seven hours for the owner of a pickup truck to have his vehicle removed from Bang Tao Beach after it got stuck in the sand due to the rising tide.

Another noisy event is the temple fair, i used to love going to our local one, although the music was deafening, there was still loads of other fun, young girls dancing drinking and i liked the rubbish food for sale. but now alas it is just toooooo dangerous to wander far at night, the minority of idiot youths, all tooled up as if going to war. Bit like below where four people were killed and five injured in a grenade attack. You would think you would be safe in a temple to say the least. Now where did the grenade come from TIT

Four killed, five injured in grenade attack in Chachoengsao

A brawl between two groups of teenagers at a temple fair in Chachoengsao resulted in a grenade attack that killed four and injured five of them, police said. The attack happened at 1 am Sunday at Amphawan Temple in Tambon Lat Krathing in Sanam Chaiket district.

Police said three teenagers died at the scene and another died at the Sanam Chaiket Hospital. Four others were severely injured and another was slightly hurt.

Saneh Thamkham, an assistant village headman of Moo 6 village, said the temple fair ended at 11:30 pm Saturday night but two groups of teenagers hung around before the brawl stared and one of the lobbed a grenade to rivals.

The brawl between two groups of teenagers at a temple fair in Chachoengsao which resulted in a grenade attack that killed four and injured five, two brothers have been arrested.

Now i feel another rant coming on noise again. every friday morning about six o/clock, it's not even light yet, a guy selling something with one of those trucks with a speaker on the top, he stops right outside our house, uses our lay by for a toilet, his speaker on at full blast Well this week i had enough, i jumped outa bed, said to the missus i'm gonna have word with him. What does he sell anyway.

She said knives WELL! i thought it's not that loud so i got back into bed

Another rant about noise, which is so unnecessary, annoying, complete madness, i'm in an underground car park, there's one space left, but a very tight one as the the next car is well over the line. As i'm reversing into the space with my head out the window, looking backwards, unbeknown to me there is a car park attendant about two feet away fom my head, he lets an awfull long peep from his whistle right in my friggin ear, what's that all about.

Anyone know the code for their whistles, i know it's two short peeps for keep coming, one long peep for stop and an even louder longer peep with a shriek at the end is your on my foot

some thai people do not like it as well,the guy is given the whistle with his uniform,now he is incharge,proud to have the job.so he blows and blows

there is in some places in Bangkok a whistle free zone where building owners have agreed to replace whistles with light batons. noise pollution is a very serious environmental problem. the effects of loud noise can range from restlessness and sleep deprivation to stress and hearing loss. The longer you listen to loud noise, the more prone you are to these physical and mental dangers.

Stalking in the isles, i'm in a mall store and as i am walking gazing at the electricals, i can see a male shop assistant walking the same pace behind me, i quicken my step, he does the same, i stop all of a sudden he nearly crashed into my rear. two more female assistants block me off to my right. i'm now captured

I'm looking at air conditioning units, The price ticket on the A/C is so large, 24,000 bht. a blind guy could see it. I ask how many BTUs is it, The 3 assistants all replied at once 24,000 bht. special promotion. Yes i can see that but how many BTUs is it. Special price 5 year guarantee is the answer.

They didn't have a clue about what they were selling. Some like to browse in peace and if you need assistance you can ask, You might just be window shopping or there to keep cool. the real problem occurs when you have to ask a question then you will enter the nonsense zone.

In thailand I find female assistants are always on top of me or is that wishfull thinking.

What ever you look at, first you get the price then guarantee then how great it is. How can they afford so many staff, are they cloned or what. Your scared to look at anything, might take you ten minutes to get away from them. As for the guy that checks the bill + items before you leave Makro, boy is he clever, 200 items in the trolley, takes him 30 secs to check them all, yeah rite.

Well! i suppose you have to feel sorry for the shop assistants in a way, bunch of misery old farangs speaking in pidgin thai that no one understands, hey! blinkers might be the answer.

once you pay for your goods and get a receipt in makro / the transaction has been done. they have no rights at all poking around in your bags / making you feel like your leaving the store with something you have not paid for.

Some one else's turn to have a rant now and who better than Orlando Barton of inspirepattaya.com.

Why don’t Thai People Follow the Rules?

So, I’m picking up a few items at Tesco Lotus in Bangkok and head for one of the “Express Checkout” lanes. There’s a big sign that clearly reads “Ten items or Less – Cash Only” in English and in Thai. There’s even a chrome pole blocking the entry of any shopping carts. With my little red basket containing only toothpaste, razor blades and toilet paper I’m thinking this is the line for me. With only two other people in the queue I’ll be out of there in no time right? Unfortunately both of the Thai shoppers in front of me are disregarding the sign completely.

The first guy being checked out when I walked up had two little red baskets overflowing with stuff. The lady in front of me was busy shuttling between her big shopping cart parked just outside the checkout and the counter itself; all the while muttering curses at the chrome pole blocking her cart’s access. In total I counted 57 items she piled up right under the “Ten items or Less” sign. When it was my turn I mentioned the flagrant rule violations to the young cashier. She looked at me as if I’d just insulted her.

The next day I was heading out for a meal with my missus behind the wheel. She pulled up to the curb right in front of this little Thai restaurant we frequent. When we got out of the car I noticed that she had parked right in the middle of a 10 meter stretch of curb painted with those bright red and white stripes that from my understanding of the Thai Driver’s Manual means “No Parking Anytime”. Just beyond this section of curb was a clear and legal stretch of space about 20 meters long. When I pointed out her flagrant infraction of the rules and suggested she adjust the position of her vehicle she walked over to the car, opened the driver’s side door and turned on flashing hazard lights. Shooting me a nasty look she said “We only stay to eat, not all day”. And that was the end of that conversation. When we left there was no ticket on the window, no locking boot on the wheel.

This picture above is taken on a Skytrain platform in Bangkok. This young Thai woman sauntered down the middle of the lane near the track clearly market “Keep Clear” in English and in Thai and stopped right on top of the sign itself. She continued to stand on top of the “clear zone” sign for 5 minutes with a BTS security guard about 5 steps away busy twirling his whistle around his finger and chatting up some girls. When we got on the train this same young lady waited for the automatic doors to close and leaned up against the sign on the door that says “Don’t Lean on the Doors”. As I looked down the line through the connecting train cars, all the doors were being leaned against.

After observing Thai people for nearly two decades in their native habitat I think I have finally figured out why they don’t follow rules. It’s because there is no danger of enforcement.

They break the rules because Greng Jai kicks in. Many Thais know that because of Grang Jai, no one will confront them when the Fck up. Take these two pics for example. This just happened at The Mall this morning where some idiot parks in the walkway (not a parking stall) as close as he can to my truck. Even though I though I parked over enough so no car could fit in (I do this all the time), Fck Face still manages to wedge in. Lucky for him there was no damage to my car.

I called the Mall office, complained, and they sent a squad down to investigate. They were taking photos and all and promised to address this issue. I thought it already was because for the past two months they've coned the walkways so cars can't park there. The very day they remove the cones......leave it to the Thais to sneak back in. I swear it's like dealing with fcking children who have to constantly be babysat to make sure they don't misbehave.

No matter how much I tried to explain to the idiot security guard that this is NOT parking, but a walkway, he just couldn't get it through his tiny brain. Instead, he says, "Because it's easy Thai people." I told him I didn't give a Fck if it's easy. How about handicap people, or someone in a wheelchair? How are they supposed to maneuver through an entirely blocked parking lot?

If a Thai thinks he/she can get away with something, they'll do it. It's only after they fck up and get caught that all the fake sorrys and wais come out. I seriously doubt that if this prick hit my car, he wouldn't leave a note to my attention or anything. No way.

Well! it's time for a rant again, this time from inspirepattaya.com Not sure i agree with all of this, how about you.

Midweek Rant: Bikers deserve some respect too, you know.

Yes, I accept I am a second class citizen.

I can see why you might think I am near the bottom of the vehicular food chain.

I admit I don’t have film tint on my windows.

I don’t even have a windows.

I am just a downtrodden motorcyclist. Just a bloody biker….

But you know there are quite a lot of us and despite what some carowners say we are human. We have feelings…..all we are after is alittle respect and consideration.

And some fair treatment from the cops – if you can do fair.

In return I promise to stay off the sidewalks. Promise to obey therules of the road. I’ll even stop if I inadvertently scratch your car…

Bikers in Bangkok – or any other major Thai city – are treated as thelowest of the low.

It is rather unfair. Some of us have cars but we just want to get fromA to B as quickly as possible. We have jobs to do and families to feed– in fact there are an awful lot of us about.

And we take up much less space on the roads and rarely block other people.

Firstly can I say to the police……

Would you mind not ripping us off and preying on us just because weare unlikely to be people of influence and are relatively easypickings. How about show some parity with the car drivers who breakall the laws – and often kill us because they don’t bother to lookwhere they are going.

How about stopping these ridiculous checkpoints that are used tofleece us for using various bridges and tunnels? It is absurd to stopus using such roads and thoroughfares.

We accept that we have no right on the expressway or motorways – fine.But we all know why we are stopped in the middle of most days. And howyou like us to bring out our wallets for disobeying the ridiculous.

Wouldn’t your time be better spent making sure that cars are notmaking illegal U-turns, are not pushing in and holding everyone up arenot running red lights? You can get your fines that way, and be doingeveryone a favor into the bargain.

Secondly to car drivers…..

Would it be possible for you to stick to the markings on the road,stick to your lanes? That way we can get through easily and there willbe less danger of damage to your precious paintwork or your expensivewing mirrors.

It’s called consideration, even good driving – you may have heard of it.

Also please try to look when coming out onto a main road. Thisinvolves using the eyes that are positioned just above your nose. Itmay be necessary to look for a few seconds to make sure you have notmissed us.

That way you can avoid damage to your car and it will have the addedbenefit of helping us return to our families at the end of the day.Win-win!

To building owners……

Could you remember that we are also your customers? Would it bepossible not to pen us in in these underground dungeons that pass forwhat you call parking lots.

Apart from being very bad for the health of your own staff it isalmost impossible at times to get our bikes out after they are crammedin.

We are admittedly poor and low class but we have spent what littleresources we have on our transport as well as car owners.

Also to the places that charge for bike parking. It can easily buildup to 100 baht in some places. That is a lot for a biker. Would a carthat costs twenty times as much be prepared to pay 2,000 baht just topark…..I think you’d have a riot on your hands.

For some who have what you call “big bikes” the situation is a bitbetter as you cordoned off another area. But I note that many of youhave changed this to 400cc up. What about the thousands if notmillions of us who have 250cc bikes – there is barely room to swing acat in some of your parking lots.

Some better signage about where we should go would also be appreciated– a bike with a big arrow would fit the bill. And not just one – keepthe directions going until the parking is in view.

To pedestrians…..

Would you mind staying on the sidewalks and using pedestrianoverpasses. If you have to cross the road try looking…..using thoseeyes I spoke about earlier. Jaywalking and appearing suddenly in abiker’s path is likely to result in your serious injury – and ourdeath as likely as not.

To the people responsible for the road surface……

Could you get out there and fill in some of the potholes. You see forcars it might be a little jolt or mean a spot of wheel aligning is inorder. For us bikers we tend to come off and get our brains splatteredon the tarmac.

It’s messy and very unsightly. If we don’t die instantly just becauseof a small hole or ridge left unattended we are often flattened byoncoming cars.

This can result in damage to expensive cars……

Finally to our dear friends the security guards who are most likelybikers just like us…

Would you mind awfully pointing to where we can park first rather thanlet us park, take off all our protective gear, start walking to ourdestination……before you tell us that we can’t park there.

Then we won’t get so cross.

In return for all this we promise to behave ourselves and act asresponsibly as you in your cars and trucks.

Who knows – some of us may even live long enough to enjoy our grandchildren.

I have lived in Thailand for over 5 years now and I love my life here. However, there are a few things that I will never get used to if I live to be a hundred.

Having been brought up with the usual English traditions, I find it difficult to totally embrace “turning Thai “. Take meals for example. Breakfast between 7 and 9am, lunch (or for northerners , dinner) between 12 and 1pm and tea between 5 and 6pm.

We simple folk didn’t go out for “dinner” in the evenings !

Things are a little different here. I’ve lost count of the times I have been woken in the middle of the night by chatter and the aroma of cooking food. Naively I always pose the same question through blurry eyes, “What is going on?” And I always receive the same matter-of-fact answer, “We’re hungry !”

I point out that if they were asleep they would not be hungry but I simply get the “stupid farang ” look. Thai life decrees “eat when you are hungry !”

One of the hardest things to come to terms with is “Thai-Time” ! Punctuality has always been important to me, probably because of teaching for 34 years. We have 5 clocks in our house, only one of which works. In fact, that is one too many as it is totally superfluous to requirements.

It is also fascinating to note that minutes in Thailand tend to consist of around 300 seconds ! So, “I’ll be there in 5 minutes, ” really means 25 minutes.

If I arrange to meet anyone, I like to be there on time. Often, my good lady very kindly offers to drop me off, so as to avoid any misunderstandings with the police later on.

However, if I start getting a little impatient as it becomes apparent I’m going to be late, I am met with ,” Bar going to close soon? Your friends can’t have drink till you get there? and so on.

And I suppose she has a point but I still find it very irritating. As is getting to the bus station at the last possible minute !

But the situation that winds me up every time is not being able to find something in the house. The number of occasions where I was certain that we had a poltergeist are numerous. Things just disappearing into thin air.

Though far from being a DIY expert , I do have a toolbox, in which I keep tools ! When I am finished using a tool, I put it back in the said toolbox. Not a Thai ! Not when there is a convenient empty nearby space to use !

Invariably, I can be heard muttering to myself as I hopelessly search for various objects that I need at a particular moment. Eventually, my lady can take no more and says, “What problem?”

I explain that I appear to have lost my glasses or whatever. I get the reply, “Not lost.” I fall for this every time as the euphoric feeling of relief that the item is not lost kicks in.

“Great, so where is it?” “Somewhere in home !” The urge to wrap my fingers round her neck is sometimes overwhelming but again there is truth in what she says. I “lost” my gold bracelet a while back and remarkably it did indeed turn up 18 months later, yes, in the home ! So technically, it wasn’t lost !

Finally, the matter of plates, cups and glasses etc is another irritant for me. Whenever I finish a meal or a drink I take the dirty dishes etc to the sink. Any left over food is put in a waste bin.

If I’m in a hurry, I give the plates etc a quick rinse to make it easier to clean them later. Not my girlfriend’s sons. There is crockery and glasses all over the house AND garden ! The sink is often full of dirty dishes with left-over food still on the plates.

The strength of ants is well-documented but the ones that inhabit our home are ant-Olympic standard, such is the amount of free sustenance readily available.

I’m sure many people have the same “problems” and like I said earlier, I love my life here. I am realistic enough to know that all this is never going to change, but it’s good to have the occasional moan.

A while ago I wrote an article about the idyllic life in a typical, rural Esan village. Well, that`s not always the case, especially from a foreigners (farangs) point of view. So here`s a dose of reality.

Let`s start with the wake up call, about 5:00 am – noisy roosters, dogs, assorted spluttering tractors and motorbikes. Through bleary eyes a persecution complex begins when you think you`ve woken up in some communist concentration camp. Cue the village tannoy. What the hell is he saying? How loud? How early? Wouldn`t be too bad if they were announcing a quiz night or bingo!

Next is the communication issue.A version of Laos and not Thai, is predominantly spoken. You might be lucky if another farang lives in the village, even luckier if he`s `normal`. However, you might just be the token farang. Either way, for most of the time, you won`t have a clue how to have a conversation or what`s being said. But you will hear the word `farang` spoken, a lot, so paranoia can creep in. They must be talking about me right? What are they saying?

Then there are the parties. Every week someone either dies, or it`s a an anniversary of a death or a wedding or somebody`s joining the monk hood or it`s a Buddha day or a really special Buddha day. Which means it`s party time and Thais need no excuse for a party. This is the green light for the largest assembly of speakers in one place. The other day 2 guys were joining the monk hood, paraded around my village, followed by a huge truck that was basically one giant speaker.

Finally there is the food, often spicy, usually smelly and all with sticky rice. If you nip round to your local mom & pop store, 7/11 it aint. They may have cigarettes but not your regular ones , or snacks, crisps or coke come to that. Plenty of frogs or fish, plucked from murky waters in bins though.

Fancy living in a village? Here`s a few helpful tips:

Don`t own a pickup and mention the word `market`. Because no sooner will that word have passed your lips, than your truck will be fully loaded with family, friends and assorted folk.

Don`t try and ingratiate yourself with the village men who, with a wily grin, offer you a `sip` of Lao Khao. The local whiskey. Strip paint with it? Yes. Drink it? No! Smile politely at the men, wai and move on.

Ear plugs in the musics about to start

Unless you like a basin-on- the- head type haircut, pay that little bit extra and go to a barbers in town.

Soi dogs is a big problem here. they bonk all night, the howling from the dogs waiting their turn, but they do let you know when a stranger is lurking. Years ago they used to have a guy called the bucket man, where you could exchange your much loved pet for a plastic bowl/bucket. But i think they made that illegal now and the viets are starving A mans best friend Here's an old VID from 2012

excuse my quick reaction mr. tum to posts, i mean no harm as for smite have a karma from me, as you are the only one apart from the obvious guy that bothers to contribute. i suppose stringing a few words together is not easy for some. mean and miserable did i once post.

Wing 1 you can see the flames coming out the back when they take off.feel the heata chinese friend of mine lives close to there her name is Mel Ting