Diane James Planning Euro Inter-Rail With Farage And Cameron

Diane James, the former leader of UKIP, last night resigned citing both personal and professional reasons, but mainly saying the job would get in the way of the mental euro inter-rail she has planned with ex-leader Nigel Farage and former Prime Minister David Cameron.

Early reports indicate they plan to hit Paris, Berlin and Brussels (for the lolz), stopping off to visit Ed Miliband at his residency in Pacha Ibiza, then making their way through Eastern Europe before a final stop in Amsterdam to get ‘high as (Ed) Balls.’

After a stressful summer of political and social turmoil in the UK, a spokesperson for the three former leaders announced they would most likely be ‘kicking it in a café in some plaza in the Algarve or whatever’ for a few weeks, ‘while Theresa May deals with this shit before it blows over.’ The statement mentioned nothing about the exchange rate they would be receiving for their pounds sterling, or whether they had to apply for visas.

Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson was said to be ‘devastated’ that Cameron would dare consider inter-railing without inviting him first, especially after that weekend they shared in Prague 30 years ago.

When Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was asked for comment, he said he probably wouldn’t be able to take a full six weeks off to join them, but ‘might fly out for a weekend bender in Maga or Napa.’