This is a story of a chance taken, a chance missed and maybe a chance for a happy ending

The Chance
I was so alone, with so many feelings inside hidden from the outside
world with my smile, with my actions. No One really knew the woman I
am. My hopes and dreams, my failures and my fears. I feel as though
no one will ever know me, will ever love me, will ever take the
opportunity to feel me. I was ready to make a change, to once again
venture into life again, but this time it was going to be different. I
was going to take those risks I was so afraid of, take the chance of
another broken dream another break in my heart. Heart break is
something I know so much about, I just wanted an opportunity to see if
I could survive it again. I don't know that I will...
I have been told I am an attractive woman, petite in shape and barely 5
feet 4 inches tall if I hold my head high. Blonde with green eyes that
can lead you to my very soul should you take the time to look. People
often forget to look into each others eyes and oh the wonders they have
missed. I decided it was time to look into someone else's eyes again
and to allow them to see mine.
I as many have in this so very fast moving world had made many anonymous
friends on the big world of the internet. Even tried internet dating
for awhile, I met some genuine and good people as well as those that
were not really sincere, those that were looking for a quick fix in
order not to face another night alone. I kept in touch with a few
people I had met this way and I found that as I moved on with my life
some of these people found a way back into this life of mine.
This time was to be different though. I was going to approach life full
on with all the honesty and trust I had within me. When I felt
something I was going to say so, when I cared I was going to say that
too. I found that deep inside I still had that need to believe the
best in people. To truly want someone to know me, and I was going to
cast all of my old misconceptions and rules aside. I was finally going
to allow myself to really feel and live today and feel today. I just
knew that there was someone waiting for me. Someone that would accept
me as I am and not take a piece of my heart and leave me full of self
doubt and shame. I am a woman after all and when a woman takes a risk,
there is always a chance of shame. The things that happened next were
not what I expected, but then few things in life are. I only wish that
people would be kinder to one another and realize when someone places
their arms around you and looks into your eyes they are giving you a
gift. A gift of great magnitude, a gift that should not be taken
lightly and should at the very least be cherished for what it was. A
human being reaching out to share a piece of their soul, a deep view
into their heart.
The contact was unexpected. A note appeared in a window on the cold
computer screen. I had had some messages from this man in the past;
Lovely excerpts all of romantic interludes. I thought they were unreal
that he was unreal, just pretty words typed on a keyboard and perhaps
even transmitted too many women at once. I was hopeful though and when
the notes became more personal and of a nature that was more realistic,
I let my guard down and I decided to allow the contact.
He shared things that had been happening in his life, I did the same.
We laughed and we talked more and more, and of course the teasing dance
of flirtation began. Such a gentleman, he did not live near me and
only asked for the opportunity to meet me, he would book a hotel near
her home and we would take that special chance. A chance to see if
words written on a keyboard could actually be more than words. So he
called, we spoke, we laughed and it felt so good to finally connect
with another human being Someone that seemed to be feeling the same
happiness and joy at the sound of my voice just as I felt the joy of
his. Hope began again, plans were made. We would soon take that
chance and meet.
I had a grown child that needed me, not that she lived so very far but
it would take me further away in distance from this chance of perhaps a
true connection with someone that I somehow felt destined to meet. As
life is full of changes and destinies there was another chance
circumstance. I returned home for one day and waited to make my return
journey back to my child and just on a whim, I turned on my computer
screen. His name was there, no others, just his. My heart began to
race, should I answer or should I act as though I hadn't seen it. He
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