||12 months, 365 days, 525, 600 minutes.||

The exact measurement of time that has passed since my family’s life as we knew it changed.

October 22, 2014 I was sitting in a pediatric medicine class with no less than 60 other people when my cell phone rang and my brother’s name and picture popped up on my iPhone. My stomach immediately sank and my heart knew that this day would be the beginning of a new life for my family. To this day I can still pull up that exact phone record and see the time, length and exact second that I last heard my brother’s voice before the entire dynamics of life as we knew it changed. That 3 second phone call that was simply an “I love you kiddo.” and a click is one that I can still hear and remember to this day.

I went back into class, asked for prayers on Facebook and truly believed in my heart that by the end of the week my brother, sister-in-law and niece would be not only back in Texas but in West Texas, where we had only dreamed that we would both end up living once again. I whole heartedly expected a phone call from my brother later that morning saying that the nightmare was over and behind us. That phone call never came.

I’m not writing this today to recap that day at Nisur Square, or the trial or the fight we are currently in for justice and to get these 4 heros reunited with their families where they belong. Chances are if you’re reading this you know the story, you’ve visited the http://www.supportraven23.com website, you’ve written letters to Judge Lamberth, and you’ve supported, loved and held myself and family up through this journey. And for that, we are incredibly thankful and blessed to have the best community, family and friends in our life. I’m simply writing this to recap on the events that occurred on a personal level one year ago today. Those of you who know me closely or work with me know how I function, how I tick. I am the worlds worst about keeping things together and under control until the very moment when everything builds up and I simply can’t anymore. Today is that day. I scheduled myself off today like I did because I knew today there would be tears, sadness and moments of extreme anger that is enough to completely consume a person. I knew that I needed this day, to cry, scream and proclaim in my mind no less that 932 times that this is not fair. That my government let us down. That the justice system in one big lie. That somethings in life are.not.fair.

Like my last post proclaimed tomorrow is a new day. And with that new day will come a new better attitude and the return of my positivity. Tomorrow I will wake up, get dressed and go out into the world like I do everyday and keep the faith and pray for the day when this nightmare is over, in the past and four heroes are reunited with their wives, parents, children and siblings. And what a glorious day that will be.