An 80 foot toll road has been opened by the Duchess of York, on a housing estate just outside Swindon. Featuring a shed, some petunias and a gnome with a fishing rod, the route shaves vital seconds from the journey between Acacia Gardens and Huxbury Crescent.

"I've always dreamed of building my own little slice of highway infrastructure", said Jeremy Mole, who not only owns it, but works in the toll booth. "And with up to three cars an hour making use of my premium transport solution, I'll soon pay back the cost of the gravel, and the 50 foot matrix signs."

Mole has a deal with the local radio station to let the public know when his road is available and flowing freely. "If you do suffer a breakdown, motorists are encouraged to put their hazard lights on and make their way to the safety of my kitchen diner", said Mole. "24 hours a day, there you'll find an emergency phone, a packet of hobnobs and the offer of well-lubricated, considerate anal love."

Once again you've sort of let yourself down with the final words.
Its a lot like the game played in the chat room last year where the words Bum Hole are added to a film title. I imagine its hilarious when you are pissed but you have to be there.

An 80 foot toll road has been opened by the Duchess of York, on a housing estate just outside Swindon. Featuring a shed, some petunias and a gnome with a fishing rod, the route shaves vital seconds from the journey between Acacia Gardens and Huxbury Crescent.

"I've always dreamed of building my own little slice of highway infrastructure", said Jeremy Mole, who not only owns it, but works in the toll booth. "And with up to three cars an hour making use of my premium transport solution, I'll soon pay back the cost of the gravel, and the 50 foot matrix signs."

Mole hopes to encourage more people to use his road, and has a deal with the local radio station to let the public know when his road is flowing freely. "The matrix signs report 'toll road clear' even when there's no-one in Acacia Gardens", explained Mole. "And I've taken to leaving my works van in Holly Drive in the evenings, to incentivise greater public/private transport investment."

Mr Mole refused to confirm that his road was somehow linked to mutually enjoyable back door shenanigans.

Some of Mole's neighbours are reluctant to use the service, despite it being only about 15 feet longer than the original route. "Mr Melrose next door said he 'didn't have to pay for it'", said Mole, "but that's not what he said to that prostitute he's always knobbing in the back of his Fiesta."