John Wall Returns to North Carolina Pro-Am, Makes Julius Hodge Famous - I used to know what John Wall was famous for, but all I can see when I hear his name is that terrible, terrible pitch. I will think of O.J. Simpson as a Heisman Trophy-winning football star before I’ll picture John Wall as anything other than Mariah Carey in a Nationals hat. [Smoking Section]

The ‘Pitcher Name’ Phenomenon - Jon Bois uses irrefutable Sporcle-centric data to substantiate his theory that pitchers can be born with a “pitcher name”. It’s interesting and worth a look, even if it’s as scientifically valid as the other thing I learned on Sporcle, which is 99% of people know “Lion King” by only like 52% have heard of “Dumbo”. SMDH [SBN]

Watch Some Dude Get Schooled By a Woman in MMA Exhibition - It’s always fun to watch a woman beat up a man, for some reason. It’s one of the unexpected quirks of the women’s lib movement. If I ever run into a white woman with cornrows I am crossing the goddamn street. [Cage Potato]

James Harrison Comments On His Comments - Kissing Suzy Kolber handles the delicate James Harrison situation in a much more eloquent way than we did. And I had to come up with a new headline, because the real one has gay slurs and sacrilege. [KSK]

With Leather

Brooklyn Decker and the 2011 ESPYs - We talk a lot about Kate Upton on this network of websites, but don’t sleep on her 24-year old Old Lady equivalent. I think showing up in an Adam Sandler comedy aged Decker by about twenty years in our minds. You know Upton’s going to show up as Luis Guzman’s girlfriend or something dumb in one of those things. [With Leather]

The ‘Roger Clemens Mistrial’ Dugout - Sometimes I give these things esoteric headlines and nobody reads them, because the most important part of blogging is putting buzzwords in your title. I should’ve called it ROGER CLEMENS LIAR CHEATS JUSTICE SYSTEM RAPES INTEGRITY. Or “Fat Guy Cheats At Baseball, Life”. [The Dugout]

St. Louis Named Top City In Which to Find a Hot Baseball Girlfriend - This has been backed up by my good friend (and Anarchy Championship Wrestling Heavyweight Champion) Davey Vega as well as Dugout commenting stalwart Donut King. What else are they gonna do, cheer for the Blues? [With Leather]

Punte Interviews Urijah Faber and Jon “Bones” Jones - Our Man Zerkle visited the set of the Kenny Powers K-SWISS commercials and interviewed every awesome person there, except for the little one in the mask who fake fights that I would’ve been most interested in. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Annie and Britta are Naked and Spanking Each Other - I’m not sure how else to share this with you. Some photographer convinced Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs that this would be a good idea, and I mean I guess it is, but jeez. It’s one step away from Terry Richardson making the Gossip Girl cast french kiss soft serve. In a related story, Annie is still hotter than Britta by like forty-thousand miles. [Warming Glow]

First Look: Colin Farrell in Total Recall Remake - The original Total Recall is one of my girlfriend’s favorite movies, so I’m including this here. She once sent her Mom a text message that said “get your ass to Mars”. [Film Drunk]

No Emmy Nomination For Ron Swanson, The Internet Reacts - Nick Offerman’s face is more expressive and a better actor than the cast of “Glee” and at least 4 of those 6 people nominated from “Modern Family”. I still think awards are stupid, But they’d be less stupid if they went to the right people. [Uproxx]

Superbook - I mentioned this yesterday, but am including a formal link to it today. Here’s a thing I wrote a few years ago about my favorite religious Japanese cartoon from the 80s, featuring nudity, blasphemous robots and too many anime references for you to handle. [Progressive Boink]