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Some days it's more fun to do a "news you can use" column. Today is one of them.

• Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) Congressman Rep. Andre Carson (D-IN) told a CBC audience in Miami that "some of them in Congress right now of this tea party movement would love to see you and me…hanging on a tree." This follows last week's pronouncement by the inimitable Maxine Waters (D-CA) that the Tea Party "can go straight to Hell." Black Democrats, suffused with the new civility in political discourse, are apparently playing "Can You Top This?" Back to you, Maxine!

• the Great Uniter, aka President Obama, has decided to schedule his latest "jobs pivot" speech for next Wednesday night, at the exact same time as the long-scheduled Republican presidential debate. The White House claimed the timing was "coincidental." Sure it was. But it gets better. First, White House flack Jay Carney told NBC he would grant them permission to re-schedule  the Republicans. "If the network so chose and the candidates so chose [to reschedule], that would be completely fine with us," he deigned. It gets better still: Politico reported that the Republican debate will go on and candidates will be asked to respond to the President's address in real time. President Pettiness and his trusty Teleprompter vs. eight Republican wannabes winging it right back? This could be NBC's first "Must See TV" program since "Friends" went off the air.

• In Bonn, Germany, practitioners of the world's oldest profession will be forced to pay an $8 tax in order to get a permission slip to ply their wares. That's as "sin tax" as it gets. No doubt, like most taxes, it will be passed on to the consumer. With any luck, that's all that will be passed on to the consumer.

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• In Ohio, 32 year old Edwin Charles Tobergta was arrested, according to police, for "having sex with an inflatable raft." Even worse, it wasn't his raft, which got the raft's owner pretty upset. Mr. Tobergta confessed, and begged police not to send him to prison, but somewhere to get help. I'm thinking Bonn, Germany might be just the place.

• The president might be wise not to push a "green jobs" agenda in his speech next week. Why, you might ask? Perhaps because Solyndra, a company which manufactures solar technology  and was eligible for $535 million in low cost loan guarantees from the Department of Energy  just declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. That's the same Soylandra the president was touting last year as a "testament to American ingenuity and dynamism…" Would it be impolite to note that 1,100 jobs have been "destroyed or lost" by the Obama administration during "Recovery Summer 2?"

• Proving once again there's no bottom to the cultural barrel, cable channel Bravo announced that its show, "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" will go on, despite the suicide of cast member Russell Armstrong, who killed himself after taping upcoming episodes of the reality show. As a result of Armstrong's death, Housewives will be airing suicide prevention PSAs. Inside TV notes that Armstrong "is not expected to appear in the first few episodes of the show." Call me psychic, but I'm betting he won't be appearing in later episodes either.

• President Obama's uncle, Onyango Obama, was arrested in Massachusetts last week for drunken driving and other charges. Turns out he's in the country illegally, having been a fugitive from deportation since 1992. And in case any of the usual suspects want to refer to Uncle O as an "undocumented immigrant," be aware that he had a a Massachusetts driver's license, and reportedly, a Social Security number as well. He also had a job  no doubt doing work "Americans refuse to do."

• In the nation's wackiest state, aka California, Assembly Bill 889, already passed in that chamber and heading for the state Senate, will require "workers' compensation benefits, rest and meal breaks and paid vacation time" for  I kid you not  babysitters. The bill also includes a provision requiring "a substitute caregiver every two hours" to cover those rest and meal breaks. This one's courtesy of a Democrat majority. Not a single Republican voted for the measure. Seriously what can Democrats be thinking? Don't they know how hard it is to get one baby sitter? I know what they're thinking. They're thinking Republicans would like to see babysitters "hanging on a tree" or "going straight to Hell."

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