My main focus is "preparedness" and otherwise being right with God. I have questions, thoughts, issues, that have plagued me for a long time. I know some of what I am thinking isn't quite right, which is why I am asking for guidance from those of you who know more than I.

To give a little background - I was saved when I was 28, wandered, came back... I have read the Bible through, I used to put a lot of study into Revelation but I stopped long ago because it scared me too much. I know it's not supposed to, but it does.

I do not feel I am right with God. I've come a long way in my walk with God, and continue to learn but the sense of peace many Christians speak of has eluded me. I struggle with my relationship with God, which is wrapped into an intense fear of the End Times. I've felt it would happen in my lifetime for the last 20 years, and the worsening global economy and other things aren't doing much to calm my nerves. I have these awful contradictory thoughts that I just don't know how to deal with. The main ones are below.

*I am the first person to defend God's existance when that situation arises. I am wonderful at showing others how God has worked in their lives, and love testifying to what He has done in mine. Yet almost daily little thoughts creep into my mind wondering if my beliefs are right, if God really exists - which sends me into a turmoil of "Oh God I'm going to go to hell for that". Other times I think "that's just the evil one fighting me" but somehow I feel these doubts will "doom me". I might sound like a goofball to some of you but this terrifies me.

But still, things like "we are saved by the Grace of God" still confuse me. I read these threads about all the things a Christian should be and do, and I feel I fall short. There are several issues in my life where I know I am sinning and yet I find I repeat my behavior - even knowingly - and this is where I fall apart. Am I saved? But I keep sinning. Am I not? But what about grace... I seem to function as if I am trying to make my life more and more perfect - and yet, I know that is ridiculous and by no means am I trying to "earn" my way into heaven but then what about what an awful sinner I am? And then I beat myself up because darnit I should "get" this!

*My fear of the end times greatly affects my life. I stock food and necessities, yet I don't know why because engrained in my memory (one of the few things) is a verse about "don't even go back to get anything, just run". I've got 3 daughters to care for and I am petrified they will suffer. Friends have told me the evil one is using that against me because he knows that's my weakness. Further, I have images of just how awful things are going to get, and "what if" someday somebody's holding a knife - not to my throat, but to one of my daughter's and telling me to denounce God. I don't know what I'd do! I know the consequences to that, but I don't know if I could look at my daughter looking at me like "save me mom". A friend told me I have to believe God would take her the instant before, but under no circumstances could I denounce God. I know this and if and when this time comes I will not denounce God but yet the fear of this moment seems to haunt me.

I've heard people say "there's nothing you can do to prepare", and yet I recently heard a sermon which quoted some scriptures about "being educated" in order to understand the signs. So is it our obligation to be educated and therefore prepare? What if I mess up the understanding? Just reading the threads here, few are in agreement over what the various scriptures mean about the second coming. What if I do something wrong unknowingly, and God says "you should have known, it was right there in scripture".

This has all been bothering me for a very long time and I cannot find peace with these things. I have one friend in particular that has the most beautiful relationship with God, he walks with joy every day and is totally at peace - and I admit, I'm envious of that. I want to feel that, I want that peace and it escapes me. I feel like a total failure of a Christian.

This isn't going to come out right but I don't know how to say it well - the fact I feel this way is at least ironic, if not almost torturous, to me. I know I have been a part of bringing people closer to God, I know I have made a difference in people's lives. How come I can do that and still feel these things?!?!

Please help me to find peace and understanding,
In Jesus's precious name , Amen

HisLeast

Oct 15th 2008, 12:34 AM

Not alone on this Bixa. This should be a good thread!

Dani H

Oct 15th 2008, 12:48 AM

There is nothing you can do to prepare in the physical for some supposed "end of the world." I mean, you can make sure your retirement is all set up and that you stay healthy and prepare for the future as best you can, of course. Beyond that? Not so much.

But, is that our destination? Is that what we cling to? Or do we cling to Jesus?

There is, however, plenty you can prepare in the spiritual. Stay close to God. Entrust your family to His care and mercy. Don't look for outward signs, because they may or may not be signs, and if you try and interpret them, you will soon lose your mind. I know this, because you can tell from some people's talkings where their minds really are. And, they are not on God.

The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. The Revelation of Jesus Christ, is just that ... a revelation of Who Jesus is. Focus on that. Don't let presumed "interpretations" scare you away in your attempt to get to know your Savior better and draw closer to Him. What do people really know about the future? We can guess a little bit, and that's it. But we know the end, and Who is in control, and Who has the last word. :)

God will never judge us about what we think about the future, and how much we know or think we know. He will judge us based on how we treat one another today.

You can only change what you can control. Can you control what's going to happen in 3 years? No. You cannot. And we tend to fear what we cannot control. Do we not?

But, you can control your relationship with God today. You can control how much time you spend meditating on His promises of faithfulness you to and His ability to keep what you entrust into His care. You can control preparing for your future with God and taking care of your family today, and do a good job at it, knowing God is watching and helping you.

You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon You. Isaiah 26:3

Where is your mind? On God, or the world? On the One on the Throne, or on men runnnig around like Chicken Little crying that the sky is falling? Whose sky is it? Who is upholding it?

Read Job 41 and 42.

And fear not, little ones, for it is your Father's great pleasure to give you the Kingdom.

:)

ƒσяєяυииєя

Oct 15th 2008, 02:29 AM

Hi Bixa,

Welcome to the board, may peace be with you.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

And now I have told you before it come to pass, that, when it is come to pass, ye might believe. John 14:27>>

God bless

______________________
Peace and so forth

-"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation..."[Salvation from what?.]
-Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

(Romans 1:16; John 8:34; Jude 1:24-25.)

http://img112.imageshack.us/img112/5459/natureavyty7.jpg

http://img112.imageshack.us/img112/3020/lifesigyyt9.gif

Literalist-Luke

Oct 15th 2008, 03:34 AM

I have read the Bible throughGood for you! :thumbsup:
I used to put a lot of study into Revelation but I stopped long ago because it scared me too much. I know it's not supposed to, but it does. We can fix that here. :yes:
I do not feel I am right with God. Your feelings are irrelevant. What matters is what the Bible says. More on this in a moment….
I've come a long way in my walk with God, and continue to learn but the sense of peace many Christians speak of has eluded me.It can be yours too. We’ll get you going in the right direction by the end of this post.
I struggle with my relationship with God, which is wrapped into an intense fear of the End Times.Very understandable from a human perspective. :yes:
I've felt it would happen in my lifetime for the last 20 years, and the worsening global economy and other things aren't doing much to calm my nerves. I have these awful contradictory thoughts that I just don't know how to deal with. The main ones are below. Let’s take a look…
I am the first person to defend God's existance when that situation arises. I am wonderful at showing others how God has worked in their lives, and love testifying to what He has done in mine. Yet almost daily little thoughts creep into my mind wondering if my beliefs are right, if God really exists - which sends me into a turmoil of "Oh God I'm going to go to hell for that". Other times I think "that's just the evil one fighting me" but somehow I feel these doubts will "doom me". I might sound like a goofball to some of you but this terrifies me.If you have accepted Jesus’ death as the payment for your sins, then they are dealt with. Period. Your sins have been removed from you as far as the east is from the west, they have been washed as white as snow. And notice that, at the time of the crucifixion, ALL your sins were still future! Every sin you ever commit for the rest of your life has already been dealt with for you by Jesus on that cross. You have NOTHING to fear.

Romans 8:38-39 – “I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation(including our own sins), will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
But still, things like "we are saved by the Grace of God" still confuse me. I read these threads about all the things a Christian should be and do, and I feel I fall short.There is, tragically, a great deal of legalism among Christians. By accepting Jesus’ death as the payment for your sins, you have already met the standard. There is nothing else required of you by God except to simply enjoy your freedom to be the kind of person He meant for you to be! If anybody tells you “you have to do this and you have to do that”, you should reject their claim without mercy.
There are several issues in my life where I know I am sinning and yet I find I repeat my behavior - even knowingly - and this is where I fall apart. Am I saved? You and the Apostle Paul have something in common –

Romans 7:14- “We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”

If that’s good enough for Paul then it’s good enough for me too, and it will work for you as well. :thumbsup:
But I keep sinning. Am I not? But what about grace... I seem to function as if I am trying to make my life more and more perfect - and yet, I know that is ridiculous and by no means am I trying to "earn" my way into heaven but then what about what an awful sinner I am? And then I beat myself up because darnit I should "get" this!It should indeed bring you sorrow when you mess up, just as Paul described in his own experience above. But we don’t need to beat ourselves up over it. God is not interested in how much you can berate yourself over it. He would much rather see you calmly agree with Him that you shouldn’t have done that and take steps to see that it doesn’t happen again. The change is what He’s interested in, not the regret/guilt.
My fear of the end times greatly affects my life. I stock food and necessities, yet I don't know why because engrained in my memory (one of the few things) is a verse about "don't even go back to get anything, just run".That’s in Matthew 24:15-21 and was addressed to the people in the area around Jerusalem. Unless you live in Israel, that has nothing to do with you.
I've got 3 daughters to care for and I am petrified they will suffer. Friends have told me the evil one is using that against me because he knows that's my weakness. Further, I have images of just how awful things are going to get, and "what if" someday somebody's holding a knife - not to my throat, but to one of my daughter's and telling me to denounce God. I don't know what I'd do! I know the consequences to that, but I don't know if I could look at my daughter looking at me like "save me mom". A friend told me I have to believe God would take her the instant before, but under no circumstances could I denounce God. I know this and if and when this time comes I will not denounce God but yet the fear of this moment seems to haunt me. OK, we need to seriously talk about this. I was actually having a very similar conversation just last night with a friend of mine. I promise that I’m not meaning this in a negative way, but you have an issue with trusting God and giving up your own control. That’s the central problem right there – you want to be in control. Or at least you want to feel like you’re in control.

That fact of the matter is that none of us has been in control since the moment God breathed life into Adam. It’s only an illusion caused by life appearing to be going smoothly. First, you need to understand that the Tribulation is NOT the “end of the world”. It’s the beginning of the world! It’s like childbirth. A short time of unrelenting agony followed by an entire lifetime (1000 years in this case) of joy. That’s where your focus needs to be, not on the short seven years facing the world.

To get more specific about that time, however, put yourself in your daughter’s shoes. Knowing that Jesus is our Savior and that we all know there’s a happy ending for Christians, what would she have you do? Would your daughter want you to stand for what’s right and be an adult for Christ, or would she rather be the cause of your denial of Him?

Something else also, and this is where it’s going to get kind of tough: Do you trust God with your family and with yourself? No, no, that’s not what I mean: Do you REALLY trust God with your family and with yourself? Do you REALLY believe Him when He says (in Romans 8:28) that “in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”?

Of course you’re going to say “Well shucks, of course I do.” Uh huh. What if God came to you and said that He wanted to use one of your daughters to go through a horrible, painful martyr’s death and that her example would cause dozens of other people to give themselves to Jesus? Do you REALLY believe that she would subsequently go to heaven and that she would enjoy the rewards of her incredible faithfulness for the rest of eternity? Would you be able to give the God Who created your daughter permission to use her that way? That’s where real “trust” comes in.

You see, the only way to avoid the fear that you are describing is for us to sacrifice the very things we fear in advance. You need to give God permission to do anything He wants with the very things you love most dearly. If you refuse to do that, then you don’t trust Him.

There’s a movie with Keneau Reeves and Sandra Bullock named “Speed”. Have you ever seen it? There’s one scene where Keneau is talking to his partner about a madman with a hostage heading for an airplane about to make a clean getaway. What can you do to stop him and yet protect the hostage’s life? Keneau’s answer was shocking: “Shoot the hostage.” His partner was stunned. But Keneau continued: “That’s the only way to take them out of the equation. A good shoot (that doesn’t kill the hostage) is better than the alternative.” Of course, before the movie was over, that very situation came up and Keneau had to shoot the hostage – in the leg. The hostage survived, but the madman was so shocked that he dropped the hostage and left himself fully exposed.

You have to do the same thing with your kids and everything else you hold dear in this life. I don’t mean you need to go get a Smith & Wesson and gun them down, but in your own mind you need to “shoot the hostage”. You need to surrender them to God to do with them anything He wants, absolutely without any preconditions. If you really believe that the God who created your children and gave them to you to raise them and who loves them so much that He gave His own child to die in their place on that cross truly cares for your children like we all go around claiming that we do, then you should be OK with that. You have got to give God permission to do anything with your children and anything else dear to you that He wishes. And TRUST Him that the outcome will be OK. Better than OK, in fact, it will be absolutely fabulous. But you have to trust Him to determine the journey to get there. Until you “shoot the hostage”, that hostage will forever cripple your ability to deal with the madman, which is the devil and your own thoughts plaguing you with all these “what if” scenarios.
I've heard people say "there's nothing you can do to prepare", and yet I recently heard a sermon which quoted some scriptures about "being educated" in order to understand the signs. So is it our obligation to be educated and therefore prepare?It’s not an obligation, but it is a good idea.
What if I mess up the understanding?Then you fix your understanding as you go, along with the rest of us.
Just reading the threads here, few are in agreement over what the various scriptures mean about the second coming. What if I do something wrong unknowingly, and God says "you should have known, it was right there in scripture".The only thing He would do that over is how to be saved. Everything else is just window dressing.
This has all been bothering me for a very long time and I cannot find peace with these things. I have one friend in particular that has the most beautiful relationship with God, he walks with joy every day and is totally at peace - and I admit, I'm envious of that. I want to feel that, I want that peace and it escapes me. I feel like a total failure of a Christian.Your Father in heaven would disagree with that. When your Father looks at you (as long as you have Jesus in your heart), He doesn't see a sinner. He sees the best thing He ever made in all of creation - you carry His very image inside of you. You were created in the image of God Himself and you are the masterpiece of His creation. When He looks at you and sees the total righteousness of Jesus that He has given you (your sins are washed as white as snow and are removed from you as far as the east is from the west), He sees something that gives Him joy and pride. That's what you are to Him, not a wretched sinner. Tragically, very few Christians ever come to a real understanding of that.
This isn't going to come out right but I don't know how to say it well - the fact I feel this way is at least ironic, if not almost torturous, to me. I know I have been a part of bringing people closer to God, I know I have made a difference in people's lives. How come I can do that and still feel these things?!?! Because Satan and your fleshly nature are warring against you to try to cripple your efforts. Learn to ignore them and listen to what God says about you. The Father of the house has come running out on the road to meet you, the prodigal, with open arms. He has put his ring on your finger and has reaffirmed you as His own child. He has killed the fatted calf and asked you to sit at the table as family. He has given you authority in His kingdom, not as a servant, but as an heir. You ARE what He has made in you – His image, with the righteousness of Christ to make it perfect. Allow yourself to enjoy that and then everything else will fall into place.

My prayers are with you. :)

wesand24

Oct 15th 2008, 03:41 AM

I battled with some of the things you seem to battle with while over coming drug and alcohol addictions. I learned that today is the most important day of my life, "today is the day of salvation", today i can choose to die to self or let self on the throne, today I can choose this or choose that wrong or right, today I have "an advocate with the Father" whatever I might choose, Our salvation is three fold: we were saved, we are being saved, and we will be saved! Until the "will be saved" part comes and we see Christ and become like Him in all His glory we carry within ourselves a battle (Galatians 5, Romans 7) Do you have hope? cling to it, it is from God. Do you have faith? It is from God Do you carry Christ words with you in your heart? Then Jesus says you are His. Remember to say this or that will happen, "if the Lord wills". He is control for the good of those who are called according to his purpose, not for the bad. Today is your gift, not tomorrow! Will you be a good steward of today?

Partaker of Christ

Oct 15th 2008, 09:50 PM

Hi bixa525!

There is some very good advice on here.

It is as 'wesand24' says "Today"

Give us 'this day' our daily bread.

God gave manna for the day.

It is no use us looking today for our faith, for what tomorrow brings.
When the time comes to face whatever we have to face, then He will supply all our needs.

Saved!

Oct 15th 2008, 10:46 PM

For starters...you are not alone with how you are feeling. I go through intense periods of wonder, dread, preparation, etc at least once or twice a year. I am beginning to see those periods as a form of preparation. Those times are followed by periods of peace, as I am experiencing now...and I praise God for the gift of His peace.

I, just life you, do not fear at all for myself, I fear for my family. Both of us must realize that the lives of our children on this earth are temporary and their homes with our Lord are permanant. The best thing we can do is prepare them by working with them toward their own salvation.

As for physical preparing. The logistics are mind-boggling as to how much to save, where to save it, what to save, and how to take it all with us if we need to flee. God provided His people with manna once, I know He'll provide for me if needed.

I was honest with God about all the things I'd like to pray for...but was realistic and instead prayed that He'd simply restore peace into my life. I am at peace now. Consider asking God for the same thing in your life.

DigReal

Oct 16th 2008, 12:01 AM

Bixa, I started praying for you as I was reading your post. You certainly are having a difficult time. And, I'm sure that your posting will be most helpful to you! Consider:

I don't agree with some of Lit Luke's end time views. As you've noticed, we all seem to agree to disagree in this area. But I don't dispute his views because I can clearly see he's a good and caring Christian... and that's what's really important. Regardless of what you read about the end times, know that God cares about you, and your daughters.

Read Lit Luke's reply to you over and over. And pray as you do. And be patient. I'm still in the process of developing a greater faith, and that's what his post is all about. Give up your need for self control and trust the Lord completely. Lately, that same message has been helping me a lot. I know it will help you, too.

God Bless!

Gods Child

Oct 16th 2008, 03:41 AM

All Christians have this feeling at some time or another. It is normal. The fact that you are having these feelings is part of being a Christian and is what makes us not part of the world. You recognize your sin nature, which is something that those within the world do not do. Christians are not SINLESS, we just Sin Less.

You do not need to worry about what you will do during the Tribulation. For one, you do not even know that you will be here for it. Two, If you are here for it, we are not to premeditate on what we will do. The Holy Ghost will give us the word to say at that moment. So God will take care of us at that time.

Mk 13:11 But when they shall lead you, and deliver you up, take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak, neither do ye premeditate: but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye: for it is not ye that speak, but the Holy Ghost.

You do not need to worry about what you will eat or drink, because your Father knows you need such things.
Has he not provided those things for you so far? Why would he not provide during the tribulation?

Matthew 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

When the children of Israel needed food, did God not provide them Manna? Did Not Jesus feed 5,000 men with 5 loaves of bread and two fish. Did not God provide for them. Will he not provide for you?
Ex 16:15 And when the children of Israel saw it, they said one to another, It is manna: for they wist not what it was. And Moses said unto them, This is the bread which the LORD hath given you to eat.
Luke 9: 14 For they were about five thousand men. And he said to his disciples, Make them sit down by fifties in a company. 15 And they did so, and made them all sit down.
16 Then he took the five loaves and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed them, and brake, and gave to the disciples to set before the multitude.

A few years back, I too had these same feelings of being scared about the end times and how that would effect me and my family.
I came to realize that these feelings came because I was not trusting in the Lord. I realized that I did not fully understand that He is in control. I found the more I put my trust in him, the more my restless feelings went away.
When I came to the full circle of complete trust was when I received the peace that I longed for.

Give everything to him and let him control everything. Then you do not have to worry and you will find the peace you search for.

Do not let the end times scare you. The end times is part of God's plan, for he is in control. To put an end to evil and reward the Saints. Like a good Father it is for our good that he does these things...They must come to pass, but you do not know if you will be part of it, so Don't worry. Trust him.

1 Cor 15;24 Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power.

larry2

Oct 16th 2008, 05:32 PM

Dear bixa525, welcome to the club of all who truthfully seek God's best.

1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

You are facing exactly the same fight with the flesh Paul had in Romans 7:7-25. The very thing he wanted to do he did not do, but ended up doing the thing he didn't want to do. What was the solution? In Romans 8:1 he says "Therefore" pointing back to everything he had just said, "There is therefore no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus." Are you in Christ? Then do not worry and let Him lead you.

Philippians 1:6. "Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" Again it is God Who does the work in us.

And then in Romans 8:4. "That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us (not by us), who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Oh you'll find those who proclaim they can do all things right, never make a mistake, have perfect peace, joy, and all the fruit of the Holy Spirit, but it is them that normally are proud, stiff, and know just what you need to straighten you out. There are some good things that will help you in your walk, and I'll list them below.

Philippians 2:13 "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." We can't even credit ourselves for wanting to walk after God; it is God doing this in us.

Romans 10:17 "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." The word of God never goes into you that it doesn't accomplish something, and faith in what you do with God brings assurance of your standing with Him. As a Christian you are saved as to your standing, but your state changes depending to your faith, your walk, and many other things. God does want us to grow up in Him.

2 Timothy 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

You don't have to teach a child to walk by saying now put your left foot out, now your right, then your left again; one day they just get up and walk. They may stumble but they learn.

God bless you in your walk in Jesus' name -

bixa525

Oct 17th 2008, 06:44 AM

Wow you people are truly a gift from God! You don't know how much peace and comfort your words have given me. I have to tell you Literalist-Luke, your words to me made so much sense and they really opened my eyes to the fact that I haven't totally surrendered everything to God. The words you spoke gave so much meaning and understanding to the way I have been thinking and living my life. I really feel a sense of peace now after hearing what you all had to say to me. I will continue on with my walk with the Lord and will live each day to it's fullest!! I will set my sights on the Lord and will learn to give it all to him, for he is the only truth. God Bless You All and thank you so very much.