"Wiping the sweat from my brow, I look down at my handiwork for the morning. A long line of freshly-planted rice seedlings, their bright green stalks poking just above the muddy brown of the water. A muddy brown that's also covered my hand, and the well-worn overalls I'm wearing."
"Hisao and Suzu work on their own columns, smartly planting their seedlings, taking a couple of steps back, and putting in the next. They seem to be slowly getting the hang of it by now, and Suzu's finally stopped complaining about the heat.."
"To be honest, this is a bit old. While they might be enjoying an activity they've never done before, helping out on the farm has always been a drag for me. I don't have a problem with the effort required; such mindless fatiguing work isn't that much different to a good run around the track, after all. It's more that I'm not being paid to work my ass off."
"Deciding it's time for a breather, I start trudging back to the house. I can feel dad's eyes on me from the porch as I do. Sure would be nice to be some people, sitting on a chair with a beer and watching his kid and her friends to all the work."
jun "Had enough already?"
mik "Just grabbin' a drink."
"He dutifully reaches back into the cooler beside him, pulling out one of the several soft drink cans inside and opening it before handing it to me. I have to admit, I wouldn't have hated him accidentally handing me one of the beer cans."
"I sit on the side of the porch and start on my nice cool drink, but a sip reveals it to be lukewarm already. Beggars can't be choosers, I suppose."
mik "So when's the paycheck?"
jun "The paycheck is me feeding you. Doesn't grow on trees, you know."
mik "It kinda does."
jun "The money, not the food. Don't get smart with me, girl."
mik "Somehow, you scolding me doesn't sound so bad these days."
jun "It's good to be scolding you again, too."
jun "Sounds like you've had quite a time at Yamaku."
"He answers my puzzled expression quickly."
jun "That Suzu's quite a talkative type once you get to know her."
mik "You didn't need to interrogate her for information."
jun "Well, I think we both know there's a lot you haven't told me."
"A feel a bit sheepish at the quip. It's perfectly true, and now I'm completely up to the judgement of my dad."
jun "Well, there's not much point dwelling on it. Seems you've lived quite a life since you left."
jun "One of the things I've learned over the years, is that keeping a tight leash on someone like you would never work out. If you need me, I'm here, but I know you want to work through these things yourself."
"That's probably the best reaction I could've hoped for. While I wouldn't say our relationship's ever been bad, I've never been the best behaved kid. He surely knows, at least in vague terms, how much of an asshole I was in Yamaku, but resisted the urge to force me back home, or threaten to do so. It might've taken the intervention of Suzu, but I finally managed to get myself mostly sorted out. I doubt that would've happened if he'd gone through with it."
"Maybe life would've been a lot easier if I were more respecting of authority. It can't be helped."
"As the both of us go quiet from thought, I bring up something I'd been meaning to ask."
mik "I see you took down the shed."
jun "Didn't have much use for it after selling the tools. Too many memories, anyway."
"He's always been more touchy about that time than I've been, and now is no different. My exact memories of the day I lost my hand have always been weirdly foggy, but I'd take that over the sense of guilt dad still has."
"I wonder how different my life would've been if not for that ill-fated time I used his powertools. I don't blame him at all for what happened, despite what he may say."
"Seizing on a chance to take our minds off the subject, dad nods to the two ahead of us still working away."
jun "Geez, they're really going for it."
mik "Or at least trying to."
"The both of us give a weak smile at Suzu's valiant attempts, but her stamina really isn't up to the work. Some of her seedlings have already come out of the ground and started floating on the water, too."
"In contrast, Hisao's practically a machine. He's thrown himself at the task with gusto, trying his best as a man in the prime of his life to live up to dad's expectations. He seems to have figured this all out pretty intuitively."
mik "So what do you make of 'em?"
jun "They're a good couple of kids, even if they are a bit dainty."
jun "Still the last kind o' people I'd imagine you to end up with, though."
mik "Yeah, life can be funny sometimes."
mik "Sorry for not sticking around on the farm. And for being a pain in the ass in general."
mik "Guess I'm not really the son you wanted, huh?"
jun "Bah, what're you sayin'?"
jun "You got nothin' to be sorry for, girl. I know it took me too long, but I know you've got your own life to live."
"I feel his hand come down on the top of my head, giving my hair a good rub. It feels weird, after so long without having physical affection. Trying to complain ends up useless, the words catching in my throat."
"There's little point in denying he'd like me to follow in his footsteps, and I still do think he'd have preferred to have son to a daughter. That said, the fact he accepts that I'm moving along my own path relieves me. I'd harboured that seed of doubt in the back of my head for so long, and now I can finally let it go."
jun "Hmm?"
"Pulled from my thoughts, I follow dad's gaze out into the fields. Suzu still keeps planting away, but Hisao stands slightly hunched over."
"Whether there's a problem or if he's just tired out is answered as he staggers forwards a couple of steps, both dad and I standing up to get a better view of what's going on. My heart stops as a leg falls out from under him, his body collapsing sideways into the paddy."
"Dad quickly takes off towards him, little care given to suiting up in overalls as he tramples the planted rice along the way. He can move damn fast when he wants to, my role in the affair being reduced to a mere spectator as Suzu also tries to lumber through the thick mud to the fallen boy."
"Helped up by dad, Hisao brings an arm over his shoulder for support. The two slowly struggle back towards the house, a deeply concerned Suzu in tow."
"I feel terrible for not thinking of this. He was obviously pushing himself hard, and the sun's been beating down on us the entire time. As much as he may not want to admit it, Hisao can't exert himself as much as someone else might."
jun "Miki, get the phone. The ambulance'll be faster than the truck."
his "It's fine, please..."
mik "You don't look fine."
his "It's happened before. I just... need some rest."
"Dad and I look to each other, unsure of whether to trust him. Given that Hisao's the one with the condition, I just give a shrug."
jun "Alright. Let's just get you inside for now."
# Timeskip
"The fracas of earlier is finally over, with Hisao's pain having passed. An air of uncertainty still lingers though, as I'm pretty sure nobody is really convinced by Hisao's assurances that everything is fine now."
"With noon approaching and nobody having the stomach for returning to the fields, Suzu and I sit at the low table in preparation for lunch. Given what's on the menu, the reason for Suzu's fidgeting is obvious."
"Fresh chicken, and actually fresh unlike the crap in the supermarkets. I've seen it all before, but while I didn't expect Suzu to have the stomach to observe, I'm rather impressed that Hisao went with dad to see the process. I do wonder how much of that was trying to regain his manly pride, though."
mik "You okay?"
suz "I can't stop thinking about that poor chicken."
mik "What do you think happens to all the chickens you've eaten before now? Least they're happier on a little farm like this."
suz "While they're alive."
mik "Just don't go vegetarian on me."
"My efforts to help her seem to be going nowhere, making me almost thankful for the sound of the door sliding open."
"Turning to see who's come through, my smile instantly turns upside down. Hisao's eyes are sunken back, his expression morbid and complexion a ghostly pale. You could be forgiven for thinking he'd just witnessed a murder."
his "I should not have watched that."
"The monotone statement is all that need be said, the boy coming to our table and sitting more like a robot than a human. I feel a little sorry for him."
"All I can do is scratch my head as I try to work out what to say. It's not that I don't understand how they feel - it's natural to become insulated from the reality of slaughter when the word 'meat' means a shrink-wrapped package from a deli. I've yet to meet a farmer who enjoys the process, either."
"I guess it's at least a reality check for them. Life on a farm isn't all frolicking about in the wilderness."
"After some time, dad eventually arrives with a large plate in his hands. Hisao and Suzu couldn't look less excised to eat, with the thought of one of them hurling at the sight of chicken passing my mind."
"As he lowers the plate onto the table, the relief that washes over all of us is palpable. Rice bowls, assorted vegetables, and some fish. Practically a repeat of breakfast, but he's likely scrounged it up in a hurry."
mik "You're just gonna waste that meat?"
jun "It'll keep. We can have it sometime later."
suz "Sorry to make you go through all this trouble."
jun "Bah, it's nothing."
"He quickly waves off Suzu's concern as he takes a seat, grabbing his set of food from the platter."
jun "Go on, eat. Kids your age need all the food you can get."
"Hisao manages to force a bite own after taking his food, followed by more in quick succession as his appetite returns. I have no such reluctance, taking my chopsticks in hand and starting on my fish without any reluctance."
"I guess you can take a city boy out of the city, but you can't make him into a country boy so quickly."
jun "By the way, there was one other thing."
"Suzu and Hisao look to each other with concern."
jun "After all the work you did in the fields, I thought that maybe we could hit the baths."
mik "Awesome!"
"Suzu seems nonplussed by the offer, but Hisao looks mightily interested. Today's looking up after all."
# Timeskip
mik "Aaah... This is heaven."
"I lean back against the wooden skirting with my elbows resting behind me, taking in the warmth of the water. Every pore of my body soaks in the heat of the bath and steam in the air. It's been way too long since I had the opportunity to do this."
"Water flows in via a wooden pipe mounted just a little above the water line, giving a nice ambient sound. That, and the open doors revealing a faintly moonlit sky outside, make for a relaxing atmosphere."
"The girl sitting next to me doesn't seem so pleased, her eyes closed as she sits next to me. Suzu always acts awkwardly in changing rooms and such, so I guess she's got a thing about being naked. Don't know why; she has a perfectly cute body down there, and the petite look's pretty in these days."
"I gently poke her cheek with my stump to make sure she hasn't fallen asleep on me."
suz "I'm awake."
"And there's my answer. She might open her eyes, but she still stares at the ceiling instead of looking at me."
mik "You know, I never asked what you think of all this."
suz "About the town?"
mik "Yeah. Hisao's enjoying himself, but I can't get a read on you."
suz "It's a living."
mik "Guess as long as you have an internet connection you're fine, right?"
suz "You catch on quickly."
suz "Hisao sure seems to be enjoying himself. Health aside."
mik "He's more adaptable than he looks. Sure was a surprise when he shot up that tree, eh?"
suz "At least you didn't bring along the others from the track club."
mik "Hey, they're not that bad."
suz "And yet, the only one you brought along was Hisao."
mik "And?"
suz "You can be so stupid sometimes."
suz "I'll say it straight: you're interested in him, aren't you?"
"The question leaves me momentarily speechless, my body sinking into the bath a bit as I try to pin down my feelings."
"If she puts things that way, it does look pretty suspicious. Hisao's a cool guy to hang out with, and his personality has become more interesting since I first met him. It's a little nice to look back and see that."
"But going out with him? I've never felt romantically attracted to anyone in the past, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to work out if I'm falling for the guy or not. Relationships seem so constricting that I'm not sure I want to be in one in the first place. This untethered life has its advantages."
"I wonder if that's how he sees things, though. Now that I think about it, I never took his feelings into account."
mik "That sure is a gnarly question..."
"Suzu looks genuinely surprised that I'm mulling it over. She probably got some idea that I'd fallen for him in her head, and been running with it for a while now. It's only now that I realise she may have an ulterior motive in asking."
mik "Wait, are you?"
suz "He's a friend. Nothing more."
"She gets points for making herself clear, at least. It's too bad; I would have thought him to be just her type."
mik "I just brought him here because I thought he might enjoy it. When he said he didn't have any friends back home to spend the time with, I guess I could..."
mik "Damn it, what's the word...?"
suz "Empathise with him?"
mik "Yeah, that's it! I could understand how that'd feel, so I let him hang with us."
suz "So that's why most of this trip we've been on a tour of your childhood."
"So now we finally get to the heart of the topic. She thinks I've been showing Hisao my past out of affection."
"I guess I have been somewhat selfish in how I've been dragging them around with me whereever I wanted to go."
suz "Don't worry about me or Hisao. If you have past debts to settle, go ahead and deal with them."
mik "You make it sound like I have baggage."
suz "Not a person alive who doesn't."
"I guess that makes one person in the world who knows the carefree life I live in Yamaku isn't completely truthful. Even I thought I had my shit together, but it turns out life isn't always so simple."
mik "Thanks. Suzu. I probably don't say this enough, but I'm glad to have you around."
"I wait for a reply, but the only sound to be heard is water trickling in."
"I give Suzu another bump on the cheek with my stump, but this time, no reaction is forthcoming."
"Well, I guess staying in for a few more minutes wouldn't hurt."