Wives are to submit to their husbands because the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church. This has been a teaching of the church from the earliest times and one that has, understandably, cause some degree of controversy. Unfortunately, it is also a teaching that many in the church understand in a completely wrong manner. The problem is not the teaching itself, but rather it is the distorted and evil way some in the church have applied it.

The first point that must be stated regarding this Biblical principle is that it is frequently wrenched out of context and then used as an evil weapon against women. When the Bible makes this point in places like the 5th chapter of Ephesians, the 3rd chapter of Colossians, and the 3rd chapter of 1 Peter, it is balanced by a level of responsibility on the part of the man which is often overlooked. According to the Bible, should a man assume this priority over his wife, he is also assuming the responsibility of sacrificing for her as Christ sacrificed for the church. Far from treating her like a menial slave, as far too many have done in the past, the responsibility of the husband is to do whatever is necessary to present her as holy and without blemish, even if it means sacrificing his own life in order to do so.

A second point that must be stated is the fact that these references, like all of scripture, are explicitly contextual in nature. To presume that the statements made regarding specific situations, addressing specific churches, and rooted in the cultures of specific times and places are unquestionably applicable across all time and every culture is naïve and ridiculous. The appropriation of these scriptures in ways that keep women down and invalidate their full humanity in any way is a sinful distortion of scripture.

The third — and perhaps most important — point to consider is that these texts in no way justify domestic violence or require that a woman must stay with a man who is abusive. If a husband abuses his wife, she is under absolutely no Biblical obligation to stay married to that man. Many misogynistic and paternalistic believers may note that divorce is only permissible in the case of infidelity but they also fail to realize that any man who would negate his responsibility to treat his wife with the love and respect of Christ’s love for the church, is guilty of horrific infidelity — infidelity against God and his sacred responsibility to his wife.

Historically, the church has been complicit in undermining equal rights, participated in destroying women’s equality, and unapologetic about allowing the sin of domestic violence destroy families. The presumption has been that “The Bible says it” so many in the church refuse to challenge it. Yet, it is time the church repents of the sinfully destructive ways we have allowed God’s sacred word to be used as a destructive weapon of shame, humiliation, disgrace, and fear — particularly in the ways it is wielded against women.

Women and men are created by God, in God’s image, and are called “very good” by God. They are helpmates to each other and created to enjoy full equality as children of God. Women are not property to be owned, things to be controlled, or objects to be possessed. Anything less than the full equality of all humanity — regardless of gender — represents a failure to honor God and live according to the fullness of Biblical teaching.

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