Davie, FL — Johansen Concepcion De La Ros, 19, was arrested late Saturday on a charge of animal cruelty, after allegedly shooting an 8-month-old puppy, sniper style, from an apartment balcony. And because he has such a long ass name, from here on out, I shall refer to him as Jughead.

According to the arrest report, multiple 911 calls about two men shooting a dog from a balcony brought Davie police to the Centro at Davie apartment complex right around 6:30 Saturday night.

When officers arrived, the found a blood-covered Roshelle Pearson, who was holding a bloody small brown and white puppy named Princess, off-duty Pembroke Pines police officer Miguel Osorio and his brother, and several onlookers.

Pearson told police she and her boyfriend had been walking Princess past building #16 when they heard a ‘pop.’ She looked down to find the pup bleeding from the mouth.

Officer Osorio revealed that he had been driving past the complex when he saw what appeared to be a male with a scoped rifle hanging out on the balcony.…

TEXARCANA, AK – An Arkansas couple were arrested after a neglected dog led police to a home with several decaying dog carcasses inside.

Magan Terry, 29, and Brandon Woody, 38, take animal neglect to new heights with that Southern Gothic “bodies decaying gracefully about the house” flava.

Hell, their unique way with animals led police right to their door.

On July 9th, Texarkana animal control officers were alerted to a stray white male pit bull on city property. When they responded, they found the dog in question, which was emaciated and so infested with fleas that “its back appeared to be black and the fleas appeared to move in waves across its body.”

When officers investigated the nearby residential area, they noted a rotting raccoon carcass in the suspects’ driveway. They are apparently quite familiar with Terry and Woody, having fielded multiple calls regarding the residence, both because of dead wildlife on the property and animal neglect.

Finding the front door standing wide open, officers decided to investigate further. They made it as far as the front porch before being covered in fleas.…

NORTHBRIDGE, MA – Police have arrested a man after they say he buried his ex-girlfriend’s dog alive.

Richard Piquard, 24, was caring for his ex-girlfriend’s 18-year-old Shih Tzu but reportedly had been trying to get rid of it for some time because it was not getting along with his new kitten.

Out of the numerous, humane options at his disposal, Piquard decided to torture the dog, named Chico, to death by burying it alive.

Piquard called a friend to tell her Chico had died the night before, but she was suspicious of his claims. She asked where he had buried Chico so she could dig him up and have him cremated.

After searching in the woods behind Piquard’s home with her fiancée, she found the spot where Chico was buried.

“So we began digging with a stick only to hit a rock,” Kaylee Belanger wrote on Facebook. “Hesitantly, I continued to move the dirt when we noticed fur. We uncovered a portion of Chico’s head. Only to realize that the rock was on top of him.”

Once the removed the rock off of Chico they realized, to their horror, that the dog was still breathing.…

KENNEWICK, WA – Police have arrested a man after he was caught sexually assaulting an injured beaver that had been hit by a car.

On Monday evening, a woman at a Washington park saw a beaver get run over by a car. In an attempt to help the animal the woman wrapped it in a towel then went to her nearby home to retrieve a box to contain the animal.

When she returned a short time later she saw 35-year-old Richard Delp lying on top of the beaver. At first, she thought Delp was trying to help the animal.

Upon closer inspection, she was horrified to find the beaver was on its back and the man’s pants were unzipped, unbuttoned, and unbuckled. When she asked what he did to him, the man replied: “it’s not a him, it’s a her.”

The woman called police who responded to the park and arrested Delp. There was nothing that could be done for the beaver as it died before police even got there.…

MUNSON, PA — Three Pennsylvania men are facing a whole heap of charges after police say they banged several different species of farm animals several times a week for about 4-5 years.

And yes, they captured all that sweet, sweet lovin’ on video.

Police received a tip from a 16-year-old boy that lived on what is being called a “makeshift farm” with 41-year-old Terry Wallace, 32-year-old Matthew Brubaker, and 34-year-old Marc Measnikoff.

This same teen boy informed police the men used some sort of specially designed V-shaped pen to facilitate the sexual contact between man and beast. The boy also claims he was forced to assist with restraining the animals while the trio did their thing.

The victims included dogs, female horses, a cow and a goat.

Police claim that a search of the property led to the discovery of a large volume of homemade videos, cameras and recording equipment.

In addition to the combined 1,400+ counts of animal cruelty and 1,400+ counts of sexual intercourse with an animal, the men were charged with child endangerment and corruption of minors.…

SELMA, NC – A woman is facing animal cruelty charges after she drank a potentially lethal amount of alcohol before getting behind the wheel of her vehicle.

The not-so-nice lady with the “rode hard and put away wet” look is Gloria Denise Mitchell, and, believe it or not, she is only 45.

How do you get that rough-looking in just 45 years? Techniques vary from harridan to harridan; Gloria’s time-tested technique is alcohol, and lots of it.

She exceeded even her own usual excess on the evening of July 5th at an upper-crust lodging facility known as the Knights Inn (please keep your sexual innuendos to yourselves).

It was there she swilled enough booze to clock in at an impressive 0.347% BAC, just one one-hundredth of a percentage point away from .357, which is the exact diameter of the high-powered pistol bullet that she probably deserves.

After impressing her fellow sophisticates with her alcoholic acumen, she decided to show off her similarly sharp driving skills by driving her pickup truck across the Knights Inn’s parking lot in reverse like a Heimlich-launched wad of gristly, overcooked meat from the throat of a choking, whore-spawned degenerate.…

Harrison was arrested on a murder charge and booked into the Lew Sterrett Justice Center. She is being held on $100,000 bail.

According to neighbors, the family moved into the home a few months ago with their two teenage sons. They mostly kept to themselves, but when the family cat went missing Harrison was seen posting missing fliers in the neighborhood.

“A man got shot over a cat? It’s kind of crazy. It’s unbelievable. A man loses his life over a cat. I mean, people love their pets, but it ain’t that serious… to die for a cat,” said neighbor Carl Phillips.…

MIAMI, FL – A man is facing animal cruelty charges after he killed his mother’s pets after his parents refused to let him have $50, say police.

Last Thursday, 28-year-old Jimmy Cardona threatened his mother over the phone and sent a text to his father demanding the money “or something bad was going to happen.”

His father ignored the message and, as a result for not giving him the money he wanted, Cardona proved his threat was not groundless.

After leaving the home and returning hours later, Cardona’s mother found her pet chicken cut into pieces and strewn all over her bed. In the backyard she found the lifeless body of her Pomeranian.

Police were called and once at the residence, Cardona’s father showed them a video his son had sent that showed the dead chicken scattered on the bed. The Pomeranian was alive when the video was recorded.

When police caught up with Cardona, he denied killing the animals and claimed his mother had killed the chicken herself for religious purposes.…

FAYETTEVILLE, NC – The Army veteran who filmed herself tying her service dog a tree before she and her boyfriend shot it to death has committed suicide.

For those of you who may have missed the original story, 23-year-old Marinna Rollins got herself into a bit of trouble last month when she decided to get rid of her service dog.

Rollins had adopted the dog from her estranged husband because he was being deployed to South Korea for a year. Rollins renamed the gray-and-white male pit bull Camboui while also having him certified as her emotional support dog.

Rollins received a medical retirement from the Army in January and her family and friends say she struggled with PTSD and was diagnosed with additional mental health issues.

However, Rollins would soon tell a friend that raising “Cam” was too expensive and would post a message on Facebook that made it seem as if she was re-homing the dog.

“Great last day with the pooch!” she posted. “Sad he has to go, but he will be much happier where he is heading off to :)”

Turns out, Camboui was headed out in the dark woods with Rollins and her boyfriend, 25-year-old Jarren Heng.…

PONCE INLET, FL – A man has been arrested after he beat his 9-month-old Labrador retriever to death because the dog made a mess in his house while he was at work.

Police responded to the home of 43-year-old Travis Archer after a neighbor called just before midnight Saturday to report hearing him beating the crap out of his dog.

When officers arrived, they could hear what sounded like Archer punching his 9-month-old puppy. Archer told them he was just discipling the dog for tearing up his house while he was at work.

When police went inside the home, they found torn papers and and CD cases on the ground and a large hole in the drywall where Archer allegedly threw the puppy.

When they went out to the backyard, they found Ponce lying on its side with its head resting against a fence. The dog appeared to have been gagged, say police, and he was bleeding severely from its mouth.

Officers said they also found blood stains all over the fence next to the dog’s body and a bloody knot rope.…