Practically Magic

I have scoured the earth looking for the right man.

Okay, really I have stayed in the confines of the state of Minnesota and Wisconsin, but trust me when I say , that” feels” like the entire earth when looking for Mr Right.

I am not that hard to please. I’m not. Stop laughing.

I want someone who compliments my life. I am not demanding, in fact I have probably always done more than the partner I am with in terms of every day demands. ( No, ex husband number two, you may not argue this point with me. We have common friends and they will back me on this. I mean seriously did you ever do your own laundry or clean the house? I think not).

MY PERFECT MAN

I would like to find someone who likes to stay in as much as they like to go out. I would like to find someone that cares about a clean house as much as I do. I would like someone that is just as happy snuggling up on the couch on a cold winter day watching movies , as they are dressing up and hitting the town. I would like someone that can cook, and wants to cook, and will cook. I want to find someone who dotes on me as much as I promise to dote on them.

I know, I know…it’s like the scene in Practical Magic, where Sandra Bullock puts a spell on herself that she will only be able to fall in love with a man ‘ Who, has one green eye and one blue, He can flip pancakes in the air. He’ll be marvelously kind. And his favorite shape will be a star. ‘

She creates a man who does not exist so that her heart will never be broken.

That must be it I think! ~ I have put a spell on myself and I shall never find the perfect man.

BUT THEN, then… I saw this post from a friend of mine on Facebook this morning:

“Hot buttered rums… hot spiced sinful ciders.. hot Mulled wine (wassail)….Adult spiked hot chocolates with designer marshmallows are all the rage this holiday season … and I’m mixing them up for my love to taste test …it’s one of our holiday traditions.”

My reply to him:

May I come live with you two? Please, oh , pretty please?

His reply to me:

Only if I can play with your hair like a Barbie …. cook delicious meals for you, shop with you, and watch lifetime movies whilst sipping on a hot toddies in our Jammie’s in a Beautifully decorated and clean home?..

My reply to him:

I just heard angels sing. You just described my picture of heaven. I shall pack my fanciest Jammie’s tonight. My plane leaves tomorrow!

So all my wonderful blog followers…..Arivederte, Adios, Aloha, au revoir, Bon Voyage. I am out of here, I found my one Green eyed, one blue eyed prince.

I found him! I really found him!

There is just one thing I haven’t told you all yet.

He is already in a relationship

Oh, and he’s gay

Do you have any idea what this means?

It means I FOUND TWO PERFECT MEN, that’s what it means.

***PS, of course I asked him before I did this blog if it was okay. Everyone is so overly sensitive these days and offended by everything. Wait, wait, that is just us straight folks that are…but I asked anyway.***