Well, I only have two exes, one of which I haven’t spoken to in years, so her opinion really doesn’t matter, and the other is still a very good friend of mine, so there isn’t anything on here she would be offended by.

About my family, there isn’t anything they haven’t already gotten offended by on facebook that I haven’t put on here, so I think I’d be in the clear.

The only thing I would feel uncomfortable about would be if my mom read the question where I stated I would have been better off being raised by wolves. I’m pretty open and blunt with her though, and she’s pretty understanding, so even that wouldn’t be too bad. Beyond that, I haven’t said anything on here I wouldn’t say to an ex’s face.

I would be upset if my parents found me on here, they would know what a fucked up sex mad daughter they had. I would be shocked if my last ex found me, he would be mad that I told everyone he has a mushroom penis!

I have a very limited Face Book account, but really don’t know how to use it. I made sure that no locational information is available for anyone to see. I definitely don’t want my ex husband to show up on my door.

You do know that Fluther is in the google search domain. Don’t you?
If you google your name and fluther it will pop up. Anyone can see the recent questions and answers you posted. Filter by NSFW and you have enough ammunition to sink a battleship. Caution.

Very few people know me in real life and I couldn’t care less what most of them think of me. I haven’t said anything on Fluther that I wouldn’t say F2F anyway (if not for the Aspergers Syndrome). The only thing that others would find surprising is how frank and outgoing I am here, I’m very quiet (even withdrawn) IRL.

When I am not answering in a humorous way, I try to be forthright and honest about my experiences, and those of people around me. Some of those people may not appreciate my candor here. I think that, as long as I am not listing names, it’s good to share these stories, so that others can avoid the recriminations.

I tend to be vary candid about the terrible experiences my wife suffered before we met. I have her permission to do this. Before her passing, she would often tell me what to write. I would translate from her French, as Meghan was not fully confident with her English.

Other people that I mention by name in a public thread, I do so only in a positive way and with (I hope) sensitivity and respect.

I wouldn’t really mind if most people I know “found” me on Fluther. The only person I can think of who would get upset with what I’ve written is my mother, because I’ve posted things about her that aren’t very nice. She probably has a borderline personality disorder, but since she refuses to see a therapist no one really knows. Oh, and my kids, but only because they are still young and a lot of the content here is not suited for children.

I babble to my husband about the same things I babble about here, so he would probably find my contributions redundant. He wouldn’t even be shocked at my admission to having a severe crush on Will Smith or seeming to be obsessed with Mr. Darcy.

If they were going to be upset that I “put their dirty laundry out there,” I could only say that I was telling my truth as I saw it, otherwise, I’d tell them the same thing I said 8 years ago, which was that I was no longer interested in having a relationship with them, so good bye and good luck.

My biological relatives know how to find me, but they haven’t. My exes don’t know how to find me. It’s all good.

This question is making me think some interesting things. Who knows what amongst my family and friends? Well, my family doesn’t know that I’m bipolar or that I have marital problems. Most of my friends don’t know that I’m bipolar or that I have marital problems, but I’m changing that slowly. My wife knows the general outlines of everything that I write here. Not in excruciating detail, like she would find if she were to look, but she really doesn’t want to know that, or so she’s said.

But what would happen if people were to find out? Would it be so bad? I think I feel the most shame in front of my family. For them I am a failure and I don’t really want to give them more ammunition for that. But there is little to lose if they do try to shame me further. I might lose a week’s vacation a year, and a few extra people at the dinner table at holidays. I would also lose a long car trip every time I went to visit them, and that would make life a lot easier.

The truth is that they’d probably lose more. They would lose access to their only grand children. So I doubt they would make much of a fuss. They might even pretend it didn’t exist. And, as I said, since they already think I’m a failure, they could hardly think worse of me. Still, I’d rather not have to deal with it, because I am still sensitive, and still hopeful that some day I’ll do something that will impress them; make them feel like it was worth the effort of bringing me up (other than giving them grandchildren).

As to my friends—well, they are my friends—sort of. They would accept me even though I am a major fuck-up. The only problem is that one of my friends is my brother’s significant other. So telling her would be like telling my family. In fact, it is a real problem not telling them what is going on with me. It comes between us.

So if any friend were to identify me, it would probably be a positive thing. If any family member were to identify me, it really couldn’t make things a whole lot worse. I still feel shame about my mistakes, and that reminds me of my feelings of worthlessness, but that’s just a thought. It’s not me. And it can’t really make me feel any worse. There is little reason now to care about what my family thinks. They would be too uncomfortable to talk about it anyway. It might even be funny to see them bottle it all up, knowing they probably want to talk, but telling themselves it is none of their business. Hoisted on their own petard!

I can see utilizing fluther as a place to understand emerging thoughts, feelings, and varying experiences that I am not ready to be transparent about in my face to face relationships. This being said, I don’t see fluther as a place to hold things that I never want known by anyone (that is what my brain and journal are for).

If someone discovers me on fluther my level of comfort may be challenged but it won’t be insurmountable. Anyone who knows me understands that I am a person of process and mutability, thus, anything I say is but a piece to a bigger puzzle.

My family has never really “found” me in real life. I doubt if they’d “find” me here, either. Some of y’all know me better already—just from what I write in these boxes—than they do, or could, or ever will.

Yeah that’s the only thing about ex’s knowing your on fluther…it becomes an outlet for them to see where you are in life and to ‘pounce’ back in it at any signs of vulnerability.

However, as anonymity is generally the consensus and for people to express what exactly is going on in their head it may be best to start a fluther account again. Think that may be my course if action…not got much fluther lurve to lose anyway lol :)