Wednesday, July 27, 2016

One
day as I was carrying a load of laundry into the garage, I was
arrested by the sound of avid munching. There is no other way to
describe it. Not the placid chewing of the herbivore, or even the
fierce gobbling of the carnivore, this feverish crunch-crunch is made
by a particular creature – the nyom-nivore. In this case,
Sam the Bad Cat. He had discovered our store of dry cat food and had
broken into it.

As
you can see, Sam the Bad Cat was well named. Even when he spotted
me, he didn't pause in his pursuit of satisfaction. As I watched him
relentlessly reduce our stock of feline nutrition, I realized he
reminded me of someone – myself. Not that I'm into cat food. But
I'm also capable of diving into a meal with irrational exuberance.
Yet Sam was a cat with diabetes. I've been overweight many times in
my life, but I've never been diabetic. What was it we really had in
common?

You
might say, Well duh! How about hunger? You know, like –
itself?

But
I've had far too much experience with hunger to dismiss it that
quickly. Hunger can be much more complicated than it seems. In
fact, after years of over-eating, fasting, dieting, and struggling
with hunger itself, I've
identified four different types of hunger, each with its own special
challenges. The first and most common type is the least complicated.

Empty
Hunger

This
really is the most straight-forward (and dangerous) hunger, provoked
by an empty stomach and the need for calories to stoke the furnace.
I have known people who only
feel this sort of hunger a few times a day, and who satisfy it easily
with small, simple meals. When they aren't feeling it, they don't
even think about food, and they honestly can't understand why anyone
else would. They think it's all just a matter of common sense. How
hard can it be?

Yeah
– those people are really annoying. And they never seem to feel
the second kind of hunger, the one that demands comfort.

Comfort-Me
Hunger

This
is the hunger that tends to erode my self-control. It's triggered by
stress, exhaustion, frustration, and a serious passion for cake.
Empty Hunger may be a factor in triggering Comfort-Me Hunger. But
while Empty Hunger can be satisfied by eating nutritious food, if I
don't find just the right thing to satisfy Comfort-Me Hunger, it's
just going to get madder and madder, like a peevish zombie who's been
offered a plate of toenails instead of the yummy cranial stuff. That
madness can lead to the third kind of hunger I've felt.

Junkie
Hunger

This
really is the food version of a heroin habit. It shares enough
symptoms with drug and alcohol addictions that I can often recognize
myself in testimonials I've heard from people in recovery, like
hiding my food purchases from family members, lying about what I'm
eating and how much, and lost weekends where gallons of ice cream
mysteriously evaporate. But the most disturbing thing about Junkie
Hunger is that it can't be satisfied. It's the rush from
eating that I crave, and often the only thing that will stop it is
feeling uncomfortably full. Comfort-Me Hunger can pack the pounds on
gradually, but too many episodes of Junkie Hunger have sometimes
caused my weight to balloon in a fraction of the time it takes to
lose the same number of pounds.

So
when I saw poor old Sammy munching away at the kitty crunchies, I
thought I was seeing something akin to Junkie Hunger. But I was
wrong. His appetite was caused by something just as voracious, but
essentially different.

Overfed
Hunger

When you have diabetes, your body has trouble
absorbing nutrients from the food you eat. That triggers Empty
Hunger, because your body really craves those nutrients. It was
awful to see poor Sammy eating bowl after bowl of cat food, yet
slowly starving to death. Regular insulin shots and a high-protein
diet helped him with that imbalance.

But I don't have diabetes; my blood sugar has
always been within the normal range. Yet I've experienced Overfed
Hunger too, a craving for nourishment that over-eating can't satisfy.
That's how it differs from Junkie Hunger, which is more like a
craving for sensation. It feels as if my body is so overwhelmed by
the extra calories, it becomes less efficient at processing them.
Sure, I put on some fat, but not as much as you would expect – and
the Empty Hunger is still nagging at me, claiming that it never got
fed. The more I eat, the louder it complains, and that's what made
me realize the only way to curb both Overfed Hunger and Junkie Hunger
– is to starve them.

Yowza!
Did I Just Use the S-Word?

Starve
is
never a word that should be used lightly. It evokes thoughts of
malnutrition, anorexia, hypoglycemia, and of countless weight-loss
diets sabotaged by the stress of too much Empty Hunger. So I'd like
to make it clear that I'm not talking about actual starvation. What
I mean is that I control Junkie Hunger and Overfed Hunger by
satisfying Empty Hunger and even indulging Comfort-Me Hunger from
time to time. But I count my calories, don't exceed sensible limits
(usually), and keep sugar and fat consumption levels within
reasonable boundaries. My body seems to have an easier time
absorbing nutrition when it's not struggling to process too many
calories. I've lost weight, but don't feel like I'm starving.

I'm no saint. But I've been more successful
at controlling my eating habits than I used to be. Bouts of Junkie
Hunger are fairly rare these days, and I haven't felt Overfed Hunger
in two years. And I'm pretty sure that recognizing these different
types of hunger is what got me on the right path. For that, I thank
Sam the Bad Cat and his munch-mania. If I hadn't witnessed what was
going on with him, I might not have seen the bigger picture.

Sam the Bad
Cat passed away a few years ago, at the age of 16 – old for a cat,
and very old for a cat
with diabetes. His illness had enough in common with human Type II
diabetes to be a real object lesson. And it's not lost on me that
many people in this world really are starving. I would never compare
my problem to their suffering. Yet the hunger I've felt has
sometimes been very stressful and challenging. And trying to
understand the underlying cause of that hunger has helped me to get a
handle on it.

I stole the illustrations for this post from my husband, artist/writer Ernest Hogan, but that's not the worst thing I've ever done to him.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Michael Levy has been interviewed on The Daily Mail! Follow the link below . . .

My arrangement for lyre of the oldest written melody so far discovered - featured in the Daily Mail!

In
my daily struggle in my status as an independent musician in the
soulless 21st century CE (when I am frustratingly in possession of
musical skills which certainly would have made me a legendary living as the 'Bruno Mars of the Bronze Age'
in the 21st century BCE!), after another morning spent doing yet
another tedious, tiring and totally unrewarding part-time job to make
ends meet, I was delighted to be contacted by a journalist from the Daily Mail Online, who wanted to feature one of the viral YouTube renditions of my arrangement for solo lyre of Hurrian Hymn Text H6 in a news
story on the world's oldest song!

At approximately 3,400 years
old, the Hurrian Hymn Text H6, is literally the oldest surviving
substantial fragment of an actual written melody so far discovered, which can actually be interpreted and performed, some 3,400 years
later:

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

There
are times in your life when you really have to be grateful for thrift
stores – like when you have to replace an entire wardrobe. When
you gain weight, you grudgingly buy the larger sizes, worrying that
having them will give you permission to put on more weight.
And when you've lost weight several times, you wonder if you should
keep your larger sizes in storage, in case you need them again.

But
it's always fun to buy the skinny clothes. I know this, because I've
done it seven times.

On
previous occasions, everything from dysmorphia to vanity spurred me
to lose weight. But my reasons were a lot more straight-forward this
time. This time it was pain. My knees and hips ached so much, I
couldn't sleep through the night. I took lots of pain killers,
hoping the discomfort would pass. But it just got worse.

I'm
a hiker, so I remembered what had caused me to feel that kind of pain
in the past. Walking with just a couple of bottles of water and a
few fig newtons is a lot easier than carrying an overnight pack. I
had gotten to the point with my weight where I was carrying around
the equivalent of a 50-pound load. Of course my
knees hurt. If I wanted to feel better, I was going to have to put
that pack down.

Good
intentions are great, but hopelessness has stalled me many times. I
have to change my habits if I want to succeed, and that's annoying.
Plus there's cake, which will probably be the death of me some day,
even if I stay relatively skinny. But pain is an excellent
motivator, even better than vanity. So I lost fifty pounds in about
11 months.

Yeah
– I've read the news reports. All those people on The Biggest
Loser gained all their weight
back. And I know how they feel, because every previous
time I have gained back the weight I lost.

Yet
I still hope that this time around I'll be able to figure out
how to keep from putting those extra pounds back on. Am I kidding
myself? Maybe.

But
failing so many times can teach you something. Even other people's
failures can be instructive.

Take
my buddy (who shall remain nameless so he'll still be my buddy).
Recently his doctor told him that his blood-sugar levels had reached
official diabetic status, and it was time to talk about insulin
medication. He rebelled against the idea, saying that he believed he
could get his blood-sugar levels back down to the proper levels by
changing his diet.

“Give
me a month!” he begged.

“I'll
give you three months,” she said, and handed him some testing
strips he could use to check his blood-sugar levels every day.

My
buddy is a lot younger than me, so this whole diet thing is new to
him. If a doctor had told me that I was technically diabetic, I
would have bought a cookbook from the American Diabetes Association
and started following it. Instead, my buddy decided he would eat
nothing but raw vegetables, all day every day, world without end.
That first week, he was starved, crazed, and in a really
bad mood.

Pretty
quickly, he began to cheat, big time. One day he gobbled down three
Indian tacos in one sitting (beans, mutton, and chilies on fried
bread – those suckers are huge).
A couple of days later it was three hotdogs, two bags of potato
chips, and a big can of the sugary soda he swore he would never touch
again.

They
say that the diet you design for yourself is the best diet.
Unfortunately, for most of us that turns out to be the Delusional
Idiot Diet until we finally learn from our mistakes. I've tried
exactly the same thing my buddy did, throwing myself into a strict
eating program with all the fervor of a religious zealot. But Alas!
Starvation can turn the best of us into sinners. So big-time failure
resulted. Would he listen to me when I tried to tell him that?
Nope. Plus now he thinks I'm a know-it-all jerk.

He's
at least half right about that; I do know some things. I know you
can think you've got a handle on your weight-loss plan, and then
something comes along and throws you for a loop. That protein shake
you rely on to keep away the stress-hunger won't be available
anymore, or they'll double the price. Your situation at work or home
will blow up and leave you struggling just to get through the day
without tearing out your hair. You'll throw yourself into an
exercise regime that you really like, then hurt yourself and end up
flat on your back. All of these things have happened to me.

But
when you go through that stuff, and you watch other people struggling
too, a bigger picture can emerge. You begin to see what works and
what doesn't. And it gets harder to kid yourself about the
consequences of doing nothing. Every day I see people laboring just
to get out of their cars and up to the front door of grocery stores,
because they're so heavy they can barely move. They're in pain –
it's etched into their faces. But when they exit the store, it's
with a cartload of all the stuff that's making them miserable.

That's
what I have to look forward to if I give up.

So
I count calories, because if I don't, I'll end up eating too much (I
have the same problem with money). I measure my waist and step on a
scale once a week, so I know my real status. I sketch out what I'm
going to eat the day before, so I don't end up improvising (I'm not
good at that). I exercise to keep toned and fit, but don't rely on
it for weight loss, in case I end up injuring myself. Protein is an
important part of my diet, and I try to keep the fat and sugar at
sane levels. My calorie intake is lower than it used to be, but not
so low that I can't sustain it.

A
cynic might ask if it's worth it to go through so much pain and
suffering if I just end up right back where I started. But actually
– the suffering is no big surprise. I've been through it all
before – I don't have any illusions about it. So far I've managed to keep the weight off for a year. It feels good to be
rid of the knee pain, to enjoy food again instead of feeling
uncomfortably full, to eat without getting indigestion. And it
really feels good to walk into those thrift stores and try on
anything I want. In fact, it feels so good, that may be the thing
that helps me keep the weight off this time.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Michael Levy
has a new single to buy! Follow the link to get your copy . . .

In an Ancient Roman Garden

I am pleased to announce the release of my new ancient Roman-themed single, "In an Ancient Roman Garden"!

In this project, it was my aim to attempt to recreate an evocation of the lost serenity of Classical antiquity...

This single features a completely spontaneous improvisations for chelys (tortoise shell form) lyre, recorded, live in my own garden at the height of Summer, with nothing but the soothing, timeless background sounds of flowing water and birdsong.

The single is available now, from all major digital music stores and streaming sites, including iTunes, Apple Music, Amazon, Google Play, Spotify, CD Baby & Bandcamp:

As usual, as an independent artist, without the benefit of a record company to promote me, each and every new album review or blog post about my musical mission to reintroduce the beautiful lyres of antiquity back into the bland modern world, is to me, literally a 'libation to Apollo' - many thanks, everyone, for your continued support!

Em Foils the Mongolian Death Worm

About Me

I'm a writer -- Emily Devenport, Maggy Thomas and Lee Hogan are the pen names I used when I wrote my novels. I've been published in the U.S., the U.K., Italy, and Israel. My novels are SHADE, LARISSA, SCORPIANNE, EGGHEADS, THE KRONOS CONDITION, GODHEADS, BROKEN TIME (which was nominated for the Philip K. Dick Award), BELARUS, and ENEMIES. Look for my new novels, THE NIGHT SHIFTERS, SPIRITS OF GLORY, and PALE LADY on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, Kobo, Sony, Apple, and Smashwords. I'm married to artist/writer Ernest Hogan -- check out his Mondo Ernesto blog. I write reviews on amazon as Emily Hogan. Like most writers, I have an eye for the weird, and that's what I like to blog about. You can contact me at emdevenport(at)gmail.com. Please, no spam or death threats.

Buy Belarus for $.99

Buy The Night Shifters for $.99

When Hazel promised never to give up on her dreams, did she really understand what she was promising?

Buy Spirits Of Glory for $.99

One morning the people of the North woke up and the people of the South were gone . . .

Buy Broken Time for $.99

They say time can't stand still. They're wrong.

“Emily Devenport's “If The Sun's at Five O'Clock, It Must Be Yellow Daisies” smote me. It's a brilliant examination of the human soul in relation to one's self-perception . . . I can't fathom how Devenport managed to layer worldbuilding, develop a full character and examine the human psyche [with] such thoroughness.”