Inspirational Quotes about Relationships / General

Many people ask the question, “How can you begin to heal a relationship with someone who you believe has caused you pain?” How about trying a case of amnesia. Remember that what you choose not to forgive will weigh you down as long as you choose to carry that thought with you. Regardless of how right you thought you were in defending your position, regardless of whose fault you perceived the situation to be, you will carry the pain until you are able to forgive your brother or sister. As the great “philosopher” Buddy Hackett once said, “Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the grudge, the other guy’s out dancing.” Forgive your brother, release him and you shall set yourself free.

Understand that there are those who are so invested in the ego’s thought system that they believe that if you do not get physically upset, shout and argue with them, you do not really care about them or love them. Sit quietly for a moment and understand what this says about those individuals. Imagine how lost and confused they must feel. They equate love with being physically upset, shouting, arguing and regret. But do not judge them, for they simply have bought the ego’s fairy tale as true. My friend, only small children believe fairy tales are true. Thus, if you encounter such beings, simply offer them even more comfort and love, and one day they will realize that comfort and love are the only sane responses to comfort and love.

Before you were born, you chose the individuals who became your parents. You were aware of the issues you would face, and the environment you were coming to experience. For example, you may now believe that you choose emotionally and physically abusive men in your relationships because your father was an emotionally and physically abusive man. Yet, you came to Earth understanding the environment in which you were placing yourself. You also came to Earth to learn about love, forgiveness and service. The first people you came to love, forgive and serve were your parents. If you do not learn to love the truth of who your father is, then you will choose men with his characteristics to assist you in learning to love, forgive and serve such beings. There may be something about your father’s behavior that has blocked your awareness to the presence of love, the truth in him. If you do not choose to work with your father and his characteristics, then brothers with the same characteristics will offer themselves to you in order to assist you in releasing these blocks. They will offer themselves to you, and you will not only accept them, but you will strangely be attracted to them, because deep within, you know that there is something that you need to learn that only they can teach.

My friend, with one thought or action unlike that of the ego, the fog will begin to lift. Just as thinking with the ego-self produces confusion, judgment, separation and regret, so too does thinking with the Godself produce clarity, peace of mind, unity and joy. A moment is coming when you will look at the being the ego calls a total stranger and you will see him or her as God’s child. The ego will defend itself against this perceived attack to its “reality” by saying that this is no big deal. But I offer you that this is the beginning of the end of the ego’s grip on your perception of reality. As soon as you do this once with a completely open, love-filled heart and mind, the fog will immediately begin to lift. Simply lay your eyes on a brother or sister who in the past you would have immediately judged as a stranger, and see him or her as God’s perfect creation.

Seeing your brother without judgment, with a completely open, love-filled heart and mind will fill you with so much compassion, love and joy that you will never again consciously choose to see another brother any other way. You will be so grateful for being able to see him as he truly is that you will look forward to doing this every day. Imagine the hundreds of judgments you will no longer need to support, digest and carry with you – simply because you are seeing your brother as he truly is. Imagine how much lighter and at peace you will feel. This is what your brother offers you each and every time you are gifted with his presence. This is the gift your brother and sister offer you every time you set your eyes upon them and simply see them as they truly are. The more you do this, the clearer your days will become. Day by day the fog will continue to lift, and as it does, clarity will begin to surround your every thought. You will quickly develop deep gratitude and respect for all your brothers and sisters. And as you do, the lines that separate your physical selves will begin to dissolve, merging into a oneness that is new to you, yet somehow quite familiar. As you continue to spend more time during the day remembering and acknowledging this oneness, the ego’s attempts to have you fear and separate from your brother or sister will diminish, until one day the ego completely dissolves into the nothingness from which it came.

Your neighbor is your other self dwelling behind a wall. In understanding, all walls shall fall down. Who knows but that your neighbor is your better self, wearing another body? See that you love him as you would love yourself. He too is the manifestation of the Most High, whom you do not know. Your neighbor is a field where the springs of your hope walk in their green garments, and where the winters of your desire dream of snowy heights. I would have you love your neighbor even as I have loved you.”

Then I asked Him saying, “How can I love a neighbor who loves me not, and who covets my property? One who would steal my possessions?”

And He answered, “When you are plowing and your manservant is sowing the seed behind you, would you stop and look backward and put to flight a sparrow feeding upon a few of your seeds? Should you do this, you were not worthy of the riches of your harvest.”

When Jesus had said this, I was ashamed and was silent. But I was not in fear, for He smiled upon me. (26)

My friend, the ego would have you search for someone who is your opposite, murmuring that this mysterious person will make you happy, complete and whole. The ego provides you with the main rule of its game, that you must play the game with one partner until your or your partner’s death to truly experience victory, success and happiness. Notice how the ego subtlety hints and whispers that you must search outside yourself to find and experience happiness, completion, victory and success. For if you must search outside yourself, then by the process of elimination – happiness, completion, victory and success cannot be within you now. Notice how the ego suggests that the opposite of who you are will make you happy. What do you think the ego is implying with such a statement?

As we recognize our wholeness, we look for an individual who is himself or herself whole. This relationship will not be lacking because we can now understand that there is nothing we lack. The relationship shifts from trying to get what we lack into one of sharing our wholeness.

My brother and sister, because we are already whole, we are also already successful. The truth is the truth, and our only decision is to recognize it or to veil it. Every moment with our brother or sister is a success; for in such a moment, we are either experiencing our truth or making an effort to recall it. My brother and sister, there is not one relationship we have ever had, be it for 50 seconds or for 50 years, that has been a failure. Every moment and every brother and sister with whom we have had contact allows us the opportunity to recall our wholeness. Just as the ego-self has us take failure and pain from a past relationship, the Godself would have us take knowledge, love and forgiveness. In the end, what we decide to take from a relationship is a decision we choose to make. In the moment, we have our choice of teachers. Each teacher has lesson plans available for us to follow.

Every effort has been made to provide accurate source attribution. Should any attribution be found to be incorrect, the author welcomes written documentation supporting correction for subsequent printings. For material not in the public domain, selection was made according to generally accepted fair-use standards and practices.

(26). Kahlil Gibran, Jesus the Son of Man: His Words and His Deeds as Told and Recorded By Those Who Knew Him, Copyright 1995 (Knopf).

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