Sure, this might be "unethical," but if you turn up your pirated music a bit louder, it'll drown out the sound of internal indignation. FWD's depraved cyber food sloth Jack Stuef has a lesson in gourmet con artistry. Get hungry!

Stuef's strategy is simple: because there are so many delivery services, they all attempt to lure you in with discounts and referral bonuses. And, with a trick as old as the internet itself, you can game these referral bonuses with a fleet of throwaway email addresses:

Using a disposable e-mail site (I prefer myTrashMail.com), I could send a referral to a new e-mail address each time I wanted to eat, then just set up a new Delivery.com account and order. The kicker was that they also advertised a 25 percent off coupon for new users on top of allowing multiple coupons to be used simultaneously. Voila, I had 75 percent off of each order, with about 20 seconds of effort. I ate that way for weeks on end.

Or you can disperse spammy referral links throughout the web:

I actually like my friends, so I never send them garbage like this. But I decided to take my URL to RetailMeNot, an Internet coupon-code depository used to score discounts on things you were buying online anyway.

I put my URL up, and people used it. Dozens of Seamless $10 off codes rolled into my inbox within hours. In a few keystrokes, I had enough codes to eat for a month.

Stuef was eating lobster, delivered to his home like some sort of sultan, with only a few minutes of work. What are you going to eat for dinner tonight? Sand? Cardboard?