10 things we’d like to hear Zuma say

City Press political reporter Carien du Plessis imagines what South Africans might like to hear from President Jacob Zuma when he delivers his state of the nation address tomorrow evening.

1. My immense love for the nation means I choose to spend Valentine’s Day with you, the citizens.

2. We’re a bit slow on those infrastructure projects but with some luck we’ll get it right this year, and we’ll try our best not to give contracts to our buddies.

3. We believe in the independence of the judiciary and the separation of powers, and to prove it we’ll hand over those spy tapes (the ones that got me off those corruption charges in 2009) as the court ordered and we’ll take Parliament seriously.

4. The police will be demilitarised and become a “service” again, rather than a “force”, and trained accordingly so that we avoid more Marikanas or Andries Tatanes.

5. Ministers and the Presidency have agreed to tighten their belts, travel more humbly and get by with cheaper security measures. We will give the money to feed hungry school children and students instead.

6. We’ll be awarding big state tenders with no more kickbacks and use the money we save to fund the toll roads so that citizens don’t need to be burdened with yet another tax.

7. We’ll call a youth wage subsidy a youth wage subsidy, implement it in a way that doesn’t encourage companies to sack oldies, and support young people to get a foot in the door.

8. Government departments will can their consultants and use the money to train people to do the job
in-house instead.

9. We want teachers to be in school, in class, on time, and teaching for at least seven hours a day – and this time we won’t let politics get in the way of a proper education system. We’ll support teachers with proper infrastructure and textbooks delivered on time.

10. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . . ” Or really, Mr President, it doesn’t have to be Charles Dickens, as quoted by Thabo Mbeki in 2008. Any inspirational piece of poetry or song will do. Come on, Msholozi, get a little more lyrical about our future. It’s Valentine’s Day after all.

» What would you like to hear from the president? Leave your comment below or join the conversation on Twitter: @City_Press

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Comments

start with — I am sorry,I lied ,I will give all the money back that I misused for personal gain and serve SA,not myself

http://www.facebook.com/people/Lettie-Mulder/100000988114053 the old one

“I’m too old and not strong enough to lead this country in these difficult times anymore and will after this speech leave the office of the presidency and go into a monastery for the rest of my life. I will in no way influence or interfere with the future of this country

http://www.facebook.com/frans.vanerk Frans Van Erk

I am happy to see 783 walking into the High Court and tell the surrounding journalists: Today I will have my day in Court!

http://www.facebook.com/kwame.dubois.3 Kwame Du Bois

“There are 2 cases of my adulterous affairs that you don’t know about”

http://www.facebook.com/jenny.nel.100 Jenny Nel

I would love to hear him say : “thanks, folks, I have helped myself to your money for years and I am now a multimillionaire. I have more money than I will ever need, so I’ll step down now and allow you the chance to salvage what little I have left you. Ta ra and thanks to all the suckers who allowed me to lie and cheat and stay in power”. It would be an added bonus if he walked away and we never had to see his face again, ever.

http://twitter.com/WhiteSAfriCAN White Male

“I step down as president as I am not capable of the task or uniting the country and leading it to prosperity”

JB

“It’s OK to love your pets. Even if you are one of those clever blacks. “