Kevin Owens was victorious last night, with a little help from Braun Strowman, and is still our Universal Champion. His name is Kevin Owens, and he is our WWE Universal Champion. And this is Chris Jericho, and is our WWE United States Champion. Chris last night, almost everyone thought he had no chance at walking out of the Alomodome as Universal Champion. Guess what? He has been proving everyone wrong his entire career, and if he put people on that list, it would be longer than The List of Jericho. Owens said he proved the Raw General Manager wrong. And since he got that power, he has been stacking the deck against us, hoping he would fail. And guess what? lats night, Owens proved he is THE MAN, THE GUY, last night, he proved he is THE ONE. And last night, he is man enough to admit he had some help, so he’d like to take the opportunity to thank Chris Jericho. Because being put in that cage was the worst thing he has done in his career, so thank you. But enough about Owens, how about what Chris Jericho did. Last night, he proved he is the greatest Royal Rumble competitor of all-time. Chris doesn’t want to brag, but he will. 4 hours, 56 minutes, and 12 seconds he spent in the Royal Rumble history. The longest amount of time. And he spent over an hour in that last night. 1 hour, and 1 minute. That’s right, he did it, man. And we can go on our social media, and do a #61minuteman, and #Greatestofalltime. The only reason why he didn’t win, was because he was suffering through vertigo….

Here comes Braun Strowman.

Owens was about to thank Braun, but he doesn’t want his thanks. He did it for 2 things, 1. He can’t stand Roman Reigns, and 2. He wants the title shot Owens promised him. Owens doesn’t understand that, he wanted to thank him for helping, but he never promised him a title shot. It won’t happen. Braun has the proof that Owens gave him an offer at a title shot. It happened a month ago. And Braun said he will give him a title shot tonight, or he will break him in half, right now. Here comes Mick Foley, in a ridiculous suit.

Foley said he did not appreciate what Braun did at the Rumble last night, but he understands why he did that. Owens did promise Braun a title shot. That was CGI, as Jericho suggests. Owens tells Foley that he can’t expect him to come from a grueling Universal Title shot last night, and then defend that title with Braun. Foley can appreciate what Owens did last night, and he did go through hell. But that may be a round trip, because he will face Braun, for the title….tonight.

Sami picks up the win, with a Helluva Kick. Jericho locked the Walls on Sami for a good 2 minutes, but Zayn found a way to get past the ropes, and he picks up the win. He’s probably set up for a championship match.

Tonight: Kevin Owens Vs Braun Strowman, for the WWE Universal Title

Next: Seth Rollins Takes Over

Segment Number 3: Cesaro and Sheamus

The former Tag Champs are arguing among each other, Bayley wants them all to be on the same page. They have a 6-person tag later tonight. They will get their titles back when they get their rematch, just like Bayley will too. Gallows, Anderson, and Charlotte Flair catch on. Charlotte call all 3 failures.

Video: Seth Rollins Takes Over NXT

Tonight: Stephanie McMahon and Seth Rollins goes face to face

Segment Number 4: Kevin Owens and Stephanie McMahon

Owens is saying he can’t defend his title tonight, after battling in a grueling match last night. Steph eases his pain, saying after she deals with Seth tonight, she will talk to Mick about cancelling his title match.

Match Number 2: Tony Nese Vs Mustafa Ali

Tony picks up the win with a Master Landing. Tony looked good here, and he loves his bicep. Austin Aries interviews him after the match, talking about the critics say he doesn’t belong in a WWE ring, or something like that, and Tony simply put says “The Premiere Athlete” does not need to answer to critics. There ya go.

Winner: Tony, Nese, by pinfall

Next: Stephanie McMahon and Seth Rollins goes face to face

Segment Number 6: Seth Rollins and Stephanie McMahon

Seth comes out first, and he is here tonight, and is live. Stephanie McMahon, he knows she is out here, and very upset. He knows she wanted to come out first, and call him out. He’s sorry, but even billion dollar princesses don’t always get what they want, so suck it up buttercup, and come on out.

Here she comes.

She is here to disappoint him on many levels, oh like you do to your husband every single night? Stephanie tells him she won’t be battered by this, but she regrets to tell him her husband isn’t here tonight. So when will she unleash the coward then? You’re right about one thing, HHH is afraid that Seth will show his dark side, the side that you don’t want to see. And besides, she told him not to come tonight. Seth calls Steph delusional, and she is delusional? Last time he joined them, he was on top, the WWE Champion. When was the last time he even had gold? Money in the Bank? But now, he decided to be a traitor, and look at what happened. Last year, he missed Wrestlemania, and he missed Royal Rumble last night. He should apologize to her, he should apologize to the fans. Seth is sorry that he revealed for 2 months her husband is a gutless coward. He called him out Saturday night, and look at what he saw, a dude in a suit. That isn’t her husband. And he is afraid, because he knows he can tera up his legacy just like that. He knows it, you know it Steph. In fact, you want a piece too. Stephanie tells him e has nothing. He calls himself “The Architect”, well he is “The Architect” of his own demise. Seth says he doesn’t have anything at all, and that makes him a dangerous man. So what happens when he goes to WWE headquarters, looking for HHH? What happens when he breaks through the meeting, what will the suits and ties say, or better yet, what will her father say? Or how about if he goes right to their house, and their little kid answers the door, what happens then? Stephanie lied, HHH is on his way to the building, and he will be looking for him.

Bayley picks up the win for her team, with a Belly to Belly, pinning the Women’s champ.

Winners: Bayley, Cesaro, and Sheamus, by pinfall

Segment Number 8: Stephanie McMahon and Mick Foley

Stephanie is livid that Mick would give us a title match tonight without letting her know. But Mick lets her know he isn’t happy last week that we heard HHH’s music, and HHH did not come out. She said it was on his watch, and Mick said he isn’t stupid. So the title match still stands, because it’s great for the show. Steph assures Mick HHH will be here tonight.

Next: The King of the Cruiserweights

Segment Number 9: Neville Promo

Last night, at the Royal Rumble we all witnessed a coronation to the real King of the Cruiserweights. Now this title is what he needs to prove he is the true King of the Cruiserweights. Now we never believed in him, and truly appreciated what he can do. Rich Swann comes out, and says as much as it pains him to see Neville wear his Cruiserweight Title. He has a rematch clause, and Neville wants to know why he is out here, and he says he never should have a battle with the crowd. It’s all in his head, and Neville proved he is one of the very best. He proved it last night, and he has to respect that. He offers a handshake, and Neville denies it. When will he get it? You do not offer a hand to The King, you bend a knee and you bow. He turns his back, and Neville tries to take a punch, but both men fight. Rich nails a kick, and dives out of the ring, with Neville retreating.

Wrestlemania 33 is 62 days away

Video: Sasha Banks Vs Nia Jax

Segment Number 10: Sasha Banks

Sasha is being taped up, Bayley bumps into her. Sasha has a match with Nia, and Bayley thinks she needs to let her knee heal up. She has nothing to prove, she is a 3-time champion. Sasha tells her she has everything to prove. Unlike some people, it is not okay to lose.

Video: Royal Rumble Match

Randy Orton wins, and we will hear more from him tomorrow night. But Goldberg eliminates Brock Lesnar, again. A spear from Goldberg, and Goldberg stands strong, with Brock Lesnar.

Segment Number 11: Kevin Owens

Owens asked Chris what Foley said, and Jericho talks about the match still stands. But no matter what happens, they are still United States Champion. Owens calls Foley that stupid idiot, Braun Strowman eliminated 7 different men. They have to do whatever it takes to keep their title, they need to work together. Jericho talks about being the 61 minute man, and Kevin wasn’t there for him in his match with Sami Zayn earlier. Kevin had to deal with this stupid match. He wants to wrestle in the main event at Wrestlemania? They need to do everything they can to keep this title. Are you with me? An apprehensive Jericho said yes.

Strowman takes out Jericho, puts him through a table with a Chokeslam. And the match is under way. Roman Reigns ruined what was a good match, giving Strowman a Superman Punch, causing the DQ for Owens. He gives Strowman a spear, jumping off the steel step, then gives Owens a spear for good measure.

Winner: Braun Strowman, by DQ (Owens still champ)

Earlier Tonight: Stephanie tells Rollins HHH is on his way.

Segment Number 13: A SUV

We think this might be HHH, but instead it’s Brock Lesnar. “The Beast Incarnate” is in the building

Segment Number 14: Brock Lesnar

HERE COMES THE PAIN!! Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. And I am the advocate for the crushed, fallen, disgraced beast standing before you tonight, Brock Lesnar. You know, there comes a time in everyone’s career…we get Goldberg chants. Thank you for your most irrelevant opinion. My opinion is the only one that matters, and his opinion is the truth that every single opponent has that number. Every legend has that asterick, but that argument that is the best ever, and that counter is yeah but. Andre The Giant was undefeated for 15 years. Yeah but, then he faced Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 3. Ronda Rousey was undefeated, and beat everybody;s ass in UFC with the Armbar. Yeah but, then she fought Holly Holm. The Undertaker was 21-0 in Wrestlemania. Yeah but, he lost to Brock Lesnar. The Undertaker kicked ass last night at the Royal Rumble, yeah but, Brock Lesnar hurt that legacy. John Cena won the WWE World Title last night at Royal Rumble. Yeah but, Brock Lesnar. Kurt Angle is going into the WWE Hall of Fame, and won an Olympic Gold Medal with a broken neck. Yeah but, Brock Lesnar. He goes to his kids now, and he says he is the advocate of Brock Lesnar. Yeah but, Goldberg beat him in 1:26 at Survivor Series. He walks down the street, and talks about Brock Lesnar, but they say yeah, but Goldberg. He hates, despises the words yeah, but. Yeah but takes away all of the accomplishments. Yeah but is the argument against Brock Lesnar. Yeah but must be wiped out, yeah but must be eliminated, yeah but must be killed. Which is why you must hit the record button now. His client Brock Lesnar challenges Goldberg to one final time at Wrestlemania. So here it is Goldberg, one legend stands over a legend. One legacy eclipse the footnote. One conqueror stands over one victim. Now reading one chapter of the Lesnar Vs Goldberg feud will believe Goldberg has the edge, but his client answers to that to yeah, but.

Match Number 5: Sasha Banks Vs Nia Jax

Nia dominates, puts Sasha’s knee into the steel post, and drops a Cobra Clutch, and the ref stops the match. She won’t let go, but Bayley comes out to help her friend.

Seth Rollins, Seth freaking Rollins. The man he plucked through obscurity, and he made him a star. He sang his praises, and he became the first NXT Champion. Ironic, isn’t it? Then he became a leader of The Shield. Then he made him an offer, and he bought in. Seth Rollins stood by his side, and he became WWE World Champion. Seth freaking Rollins, standing by his side. Seth Rollins would get everything he wanted in this business, and all he had to do was hold up his end of the bargain. And he couldn’t do it. As soon as the pressure came to him, he buckled under the pressure. He stood right here, and cried, handing the title, and he handed everything HHH had given to him in a silver platter, and he spit in his face, and he hobbled through obscurity. And he thought the world would stop spinning, but it didn’t, did it? In 7 months when he came back, and he stood in this ring, without HHH, he came back into this world, Seth freaking Rollins checked failure. Seth Rollins was a massive failure, and did he take any responsiblity? No, that failure was blamed on HHH. He was supposed to apologize to Seth Rollins. But he didn’t think he should apologize. If someone deserves an apology, it should be him, because he spit in his face. Do you know how hard it is not to come out when he is being called out, his wife tells him not t. And she is right, it’s best for business, because he is trying not to be that guy anymore. The guy who crushes dreams, and hurts people. And he tries not to be that guy, he puts on his suit, and his tie, and tries to be a creator for us. Then Seth Rollins comes out to NXT. He tries to create the next Seth freaking Rollins. So he is done trying. HHH takes off his suit jacket, his tie. Unbutton his shirt. So here is the thing, Seth freaking Rollins. You don’t have to worry about coming to my house. Becuase he is standing right here, you already know who his creator is. So come on out here, and meet your destroyer.

Here comes Seth freaking Rollins.

And Samoa Joe comes right out, and blocks Seth. He is now HHH’s heavy. He nails him from pillar to post, and HHH is begging him to get back up. HHH just walks away, and Joe does the damage. Joe nails a Coquina Clutch, and Seth passes out, and the show ends here.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

What a great ending to the show here, and Joe coming out was a nice touch. So, he is on Raw, it seems and we will more than likely see a match between Joe and Seth, to get to HHH at Mania.

I just have to say though, it’s weird to have a Smackdown star win the Rumble, because there was barely any mention of it. I am sure tomorrow night’s show will be great. But other than Brock’s segment, and the end, it just didn’t feel like the Road to Wrestlemania, yet. Still not sure where we are heading with it. What did you think of the show? I loved Joe’s debut, did you? Let me know.