Contributors

Monday, March 7, 2011

Human FAQ

What I want to know is this: Why do humans ask questions when they don't care to know what the answer its?

For instance: Tonight Laura was cooking something in the kitchen, and it smelled very good, so I decided to go and see what was up.

Laura saw me and she said, "Princess Kendal, how's it going?"

I told her it would be going a whole lot better if she would share what she was cooking with me. But Laura just smiled and turned back to her pan and didn't give me any!

Then there are all the times that I go to Laura to tell her that it's dinner time. I stand right in front of her and give her my very best "it's dinnertime" look.

But humans have trouble with looks. Laura doesn't always understand what I mean. Still, she recognizes that I want something. So she says, "Princess Kendal, what can I do for you?"

And I tell her very clearly, "You could get me my dinner."

I don't just rely on The Look. And neither do I rely on telepathy. (Humans have trouble with that sometimes too.) No, I am very clear. I explain myself using full body language and the proper choreography and everything. I know that Laura understands my answer.

Still, she just smiles and says, "You're cute, Princess Kendal. Cheeky, but cute." And then she goes on about her business like we never had the conversation at all!

Laura's pretty smart for a human, so I don't think it's a lack of understanding. It's more of a willful oblivion. But why ask the question at all if you're not going to respond appropriately to the answer?