China cracks down on sexy bras; panties

Ads for bras like this will be banned under the Chinese government ruling

In an effort to stop men and women from procreating, the Chinese government has banned all television networks from showing provocative push-up bras and figure fitting underwear and has banned all stores from selling such items.

The government has also cracked down on the sale of Ben Wa balls, dildos, vibrators, "pleasure enhancing" edible condoms and all other kinds of sexual aids and marital enhancements.

"There are too many Chinese people. We must help the government prevent people from becoming horny", said state television head Zhao Huayong. "If people don't get horny the population will decrease".

In addition, the government has cracked down on plastic surgery, allowing surgeons to perform only life saving procedures.

"If we make women attractive then men will want to have sex with them and this will lead to even more overpopulation and starvation", said former plastic surgeon Dr. Xu Sin as a Chinese government official stood behind him with a gun in his jacket. "From now on I will perform only stitches on open wounds and make sure to leave plenty of ugly scars".

China has tried many methods over the years to try to stop overpopulation, including mandatory sterilization of couples that have already had one child.

In the wake of the massive failure of his "abstinence only" program, US President George W. Bush praised the Chinese efforts. "If we stop horniness at the source we can create a more Christian society".

Bush said he would attempt to institute a similar program in the United States.

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