Throwback (Musical) Thursday – What the Heart Wants

I had an absolutely brilliant weekend. Seriously, I was with gaggles of people with some pretty major common interests, eating what I wanted, when I wanted, drinking adult beverages regardless of the time of day, and being taken care of by my KB and the Nerd Herd. It was incredibly difficult to transition back into the reality of a full-time job that isn’t Kpop related, kids, a spouse, pets, and having to make mature decisions. As late as Wednesday afternoon my colleagues were all looking at me with concern in their eyes asking if I was mentally still in LA. I could do nothing but answer with a resounding “you’d better believe it!”

But even with all of the gloriousness that was KCon, I have to admit that I was the tiniest bit ready to get back to reality. I missed being able to pop in my earbuds on a whim to listen to my go-to favorite songs. Straight Kpop is great. I was more than pleased with all of the performances, the audience engagements, and just being surrounded by all of that sugary sweetness for three straight days. But by the end, I was craving music with some more maturity. I need access to songs with a hint of something a little darker or the suggestion of a PG-13 or higher rating. It doesn’t have to be sexy Jay Park all the time, but I do want to rock out to someone with a few years under their belt and the opportunity to have experienced some life outside of a major entertainment label.

I also struggled, just a little bit, with the notion that I am, in all seriousness, a grown woman that was almost forcing herself to fantasize about feeding idols a sandwich and making sure they had some hot water with honey after the performance rather than having naughty thoughts about these glorious boys and girls being paraded around. I mean seriously, I’d rather have the good kind of fantasy…I think I was just overwhelmed by it all.

Fast forward to today and I’ve pretty much non-stop listened to hip and hop and R&B round the clock. Junggigo, and better yet, Junggigo featuring Beenzino on the track Want U, has settled into heavy rotation. The lyrics aren’t any more complicated than an idol’s waxing poetic about love at first sight, but there’s something about the music, the delivery, and the fact that he’s a grown man (my age…or close enough) recognizing in song that what he’s feeling is hilariously similar to what a kid feels when they fall in love for the first time. It really is a pretty accurate portrayal of how I feel as a grown woman laying eyes on any number of idols, or artists, or what have you, at any given time. So maybe what I’m wanting right now is less about maturity in my music than a recognition that just because I am mature doesn’t mean that my love has to be.