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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Don't Blame Me, I Didn't Vote For Any Of Them!

Well, you vote Lib Dem and you get Tory. Or, looking at it another way, you vote Tory and you get Lib Dem. So we're now going to be treated to the spectacle of Bumface and the Boy Wonder running the show for the next few years. Or months. Or possibly even weeks. Kuh!

If you want real change vote for the Lib-Dems. That's what they told us, but what we actually get is the Lib-Dems propping up a throwback Tory government which intends to cut public services and feed the rich. 23% of the electorate are made to look like complete mugs. If they'd wanted a Tory government they'd have voted for it. I imagine the Lib-Dem vote will all but disappear when the election is re-run later this year. They've turned out to be exactly like the other parties.

It strikes me that I have got exactly what I wanted with this LibTory thing. Labour had to go but I didn't trust the Tories not to be the same old Nasty Party like they are here in Thanet. With the Lib Dems tempering the old Tory instinct to favour the rich and conscience-free of Britain, and by the way they have conducted themselves in these negotiations, I think we have the makings of a government that could be good, or as good as it can be, for everyone.

Now how about the moderate Tories in Thanet, if there are any, getting together with the Lib Dems and forming a strong and stable coalition to get the island out of the mess it's in? There's a thought!

As a Labour supporter who voted Lib/Dem on the advice of Peter Hain to keep Cameron out, I am gutted!! Falls to floor clutching sides in uncontrolled, hysterical laughter. What price tactical voting or even PR now? You have to laugh or go insane.Incidentally, what are the roots these 40 Liberal MPs are going to cross the floor to? Presumably back to Whigs.

I don't know about Whigs, Mr Rock, but I do know that poor old DC will almost certainly need a weave or some other kind of hairpiece by the time this government's over, given the rate at which his barnet's been dropping out over the past few weeks.

As for me brokering a deal 7:25, in case you hadn't noticed diplomacy and negotiation are not really my strong points. Maybe Tony Flaig could help? *falls on floor laughing*

Well, ECR, at least he won't be short of sandals or muesli with all those Libs round the cabinet table. There is probably the odd hair piece amongst them as well. PS I am not really a Labour supporter who voted Lib/Dem tactically but I guess you knew that!

Yes, Mr Shinguard. I have a sneaking feeling that, like Arnie, Labour will be back in the not too distant future to sort out the inevitable mess. All they have to do is regroup and snipe from the sidelines until the coalition forces fall apart in disarray!

Hmmm. I don't have much confidence in the Lib Dems' ability to hold it together, Mr Rock. They are by nature slightly woolly free thinkers. Also there must be plenty of Tories like yourself who have woken up this morning wondering how on earth the great Conservative dream of a shiny new Range Rover turned into a clapped out Morris Minor!

Don't you just love this idea of David Milliband laughing at the prospect of leading Labour back to power. Can you imagine being surrounded by the likes of Harman, Mandelson, Balls, Campbell, Prescott, Hain & co, not to mention his brother. Bit like Julius Cesar on the steps of the Senate surrounded by that lot. Et tu, Ed and all that!

PS: I note from this morning's photo op in Downing Street that Cam and Cleggs are already embroiled in a power play, back-patting struggle. Putting my psychology hat on, I've observed over the years that it's always a case of who gets in the last back pat is the top dog! (See Bush/Blair).

ECR, I am not a proper Tory, either by roots or in my heart which still belongs to the Rhodesia Front. Now I procrastinate in my dotage, dream of a sun soaked land, shabbily betrayed by the likes of Wilson, Heath, Carrington and even Thatcher, and attack whatever takes my fancy on the day. Label me if you wish or it gives you some satisfaction but, in truth, I am just bitter and twisted at the passing of so much that was good.

Strip aside the bollocks that any of our leading politicians are really concerned about the "national interest", rather than their own ideologies and personal advancement and standing - and rewards. Cynical perhaps, but...

Then look at some of our local right-wing commentators, who are already saying "things are in a real mess", "there's not much we can do, things are so bad", and "don't look for many improvements for a long time". Would these people - like Cllr/Dr/Paramedic/Group Captain/Royal marine Reserve Moores - buy a car that was clearly clapped out? Then why go in to Government? Why take on a job that is so doomed?

Overheard in Thanet

Is your hot chocolate gluten free?Man at kioskJust wait til I get hold of yer, yer cunt. Yer fuckin' door won't save yer!Man on phone in streetThere were dead bodies everywhere at my fuckin' birfday do. No, seriously, my missus had to give one bloke CPR!Man on phone in streetYer can't smoke in a petrol station can yer? Fuck it, I'm gonna light up anyway. If I blow meself up I'm gonna charge you compensation!Woman to staff member at petrol stationWhat happened to all those Socialist Workers eh? They joined the bloody Labour Party, that's what!Man to woman in WaitroseSo I grabbed the fuckin' potato peeler and stabbed the cunt.Man sitting outside barTwitter? That's the bit between a bird's twat and her shitter, isn't it?Man on trainYou know the medicine they give us was invented by the Germans in WW2 for their troops, so they could be shot?Man on streetYeah, well, he's a fucking bald headed cunt.Man at Margate football matchYou better choose your sweets, inch yer! I'm not a bleedin' psychic, inn I?Woman to small childI like haring but I don't like it when the dog just bites into it an' it fuckin' screams and then you 'ave to go an' chop it.Man in restaurantI'm a registered businessman!Man on phone in streetI luv 'im, even though 'e raped me an' bit me. 'Cos 'e respecks me.Woman talking to man in streetChild to baboon in animal park: 'Ello!Mother: Don't talk, MatthewChild: Why?Mother: 'Cos it's an animal.

If you come on and start having a go at Margate, it immediately puts everyone's shackles up.

Man talking about the warm-up act at the Alexei Sayle gig at the Theatre Royal, Margate'We are not expecting widespread flooding; however precautions have been deployed and we are doing our upmost to ensure all areas are secure and protected.'Thanet Council press release

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Richard's Thanisaurus

Bignews Margaten. a fatuous blog that pays lip service to 'freedom of speech' but shits its britches at the first sign of trouble. Contributor: anonymous.

Much of the reason we experience noise on landing over Ramsgate is because training flights are precisely that. Half the time the pilots get too low and have to put their engines on... They are training and get it wrong! - Local pilot

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Eastcliff Richard is an opinion-based blog. If you disagree with something you read, feel free to leave a comment to that effect. If you want to take it further, a friendly request for a correction or addition, stating your reasons, will almost certainly get better results, and cost you less, than instructing a lawyer. Email richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

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The Thanet Daily is a humour/satire/local gossip blog based on the Isle of Thanet in Kent. Opinions expressed on this site may not be suitable for minors, wilting flowers, or duffers. The content, opinions and comments contained in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of its author(s), fictional or otherwise. The Thanet Daily accepts no responsibility legal or otherwise for their accuracy of content. The Thanet Daily is not responsible for the content of external internet sites. Actually, if truth be told, the whole thing is a crock of shit.