Lola Gives a Whole New Meaning to Broadcasting

I’m not THAT kind of girl…
Yet, here I sit in a four by four cell at the County Hilton, wrapped only in a horse blanket.
I can’t remember what happened.

The last thing I remember is hearing Patrick saying something about getting one of those Lola Video senders from X10. I remember him saying something like he can watch live action video stored on his computer and that he could send the pictures to any TV screen anywhere.

Sure, I like my share of technology, and I’ve occasionally taken pictures of my butt on the Xerox machine…. Who hasn’t?

But now, I’m in this jail house charged with “Wardrobe malfunction in the third degree!”

Can you believe it?

My public defender says the morning talk shows are full of pictures of me completely naked (with black bars in the appropriate places). They have crack teams of cyber crime investigators attempting to find out how these live pictures of Patrick and I were distributed not only on My Space and You Tube, but also on every broadcast television station here in the metropolitan area.

I’ve never been on television in my entire life – except for the time I SAT on a television at Patrick’s house when I was feeling no pain.

That Patrick is such a kidder. He said I should be on television, and actually lifted me on top of his set!

When Patrick isn’t a strong man, he is quite the software engineer. He is particularly clever around network software… his skills are in such great demand. People are always asking him how to prevent hacker intrusions into their local computer and broadcast networks. He can see an intrusion a mile away.

He can also see a bargain.

I remember how he got this video sender from a “midnight bandit” (I like these cute names those electronics people call each other) for some ridiculous price. “Isn’t that like stealing?” I asked Patrick.

“Oh no, “he answered. “ I’m stealing from the bandit to help me spread joy to the world!”