I HATE YOU PAGE 93

Of course I simply would not be able to live with myself if I didn't include a picture of some American goths for you. I am committed to equality and I think all goths are equally deserving of me bashing their skull in with a cinderblock.

EXPLOSION IN HAIR SALON KILLS 4

Only survivor reported to be in critical condition and "very ugly."

The Mid-life Crisis Cheetah Convention in West Appleton every year is a real blast. Not that I'd know anything about the rash of explosions there. Which happen every year on the day before I leave town for a month.

MC Star Trek records his music for the upcoming smash hit, "I Like My Wookie Hairy".

Even when I sleep, my astral projection travels throughout the gay whorehouses in North Appleton, leaving a wake of mangled, twisted morons. This picture features my ghost kicking the shit out of some clown who was previously drinking a cup of his own urine.