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Monday, 26 November 2007

if only life is like a cassette.. and you could rewind and live it all over again

I wonder. Do you suddenly realise you've grown up or are we always growing up?

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Had a stiff back last Saturday. Stiff lower back to be exact. If i bend for too long, like sitting on a chair, i would have problem straightening my back afterwards. It hurts if i straighten too fast. Which made me end up bongkok (like i have kyphosis of my spine -.-) for like 15 seconds everytime i get my butt off the chair.

Shin Yin said i'm getting old. Haha. None truer words.

Getting better now. Though still a little stiff. Hope nothing serious bout it. You know, being a medical student made you think up of all the possibilities you might have everytime some part of your body goes wrong. For a second i feared i had vertebral collapse (Pott's disease, anyone?) -.-

I do feel old. Everytime i see someone's birth year starting with 199x, i get reminded of the fact that i'm not that young anymore. A one-nine-nine-zero baby would be sitting his/her SPM right now. That's someone 4 years younger than me and he/she is almost done with secondary school.

Not too long ago, a 1990 baby is still a kid who can't wait to catch his/her favourite show on Saturday.
Now, a 1990 baby is already looking forward to his/her date on Saturday.

I miss being young. I miss being so innocent and so carefree. Sigh.

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A lecturer talked to us last week bout rehabilitation. Then somewhere along, he mentioned that only a family member would have the patience to feed someone who's unable to feed themselves. A nurse/caregiver would probably be shoving spoonful of food into his mouth before he even chew the previous spoonful. Haha not dissing, just an example. Then again, not the nurse/caregiver's fault, as he went on, they're not only caring for that one patient and they don't have all the time in the world.

Reminds me of the time i was small. Grandma would sit next to me, feeding me spoonful after spoonful of dinner. While i was playing some console game, playing computer, running around outside, cycling around outside, or something.

And when she tried to urge me to eat the next spoonful while i was still chewing, i would get irritated (because that interferes with my intense concentration on playing some game). So childish. Haha.

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Just a while ago i heard crackling sounds in my left ear (which is a wee little bit deaf to high-pitched sounds), and i stuffed my finger into it, hoping what was causing the sounds would cease.

Don't ask me why, i got reminded of the times my Mom used to ask me to lie on her lap, and clean my ear with a cottonbutt. I was too small to use a cottonbutt myself then. I miss that. Haha.

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And it went on. I got reminded of the times Dad would bring me and my brothers to Holiday Plaza to stock up on our pile of pirated computer games. It has always been a 'big' event for us, coz fun in life was all bout video games at that time -.-. Haha. And when we couldn't find any games that our computer could support, we would rant and complain to him. Ungrateful kids :P.

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Sigh.

Being grown-up sucks. Not that i could say that since i'm not even working and paying for my own yet (and i'm in denial. i'm not grown up yet! :P).

But somewhere along the journey in life, i lost that carefree-ness and easily-impressed-ness of being a child.

Life became.. different.

Finding 'treasures' in the backyard doesn't seem fun anymore.
Chasing stray chickens around isn't filled with adrenaline.
Instead of wanting more computer games, now i just want more time to rest.
I used to wish time would speed up so i could watch the weekend cartoons, now i wished time would slow down and let me catch my breath.