One Aspie-girl's journey towards understanding

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Thankfulness

I took a walk today, and I put on a Boundless Show podcast (Episode 354). Lisa was interviewing Louie Giglio about his advent book, and she asked him a question about single adults trying to hold onto hope instead of dwelling on what they’re not having.

We always have that choice of saying, well this is what’s not happening. I’m gonna focus on what isn’t happening. And the end of that journey always leads us to a really dark place.

Yeah.

It was good timing. You’d think that since two days ago was Thanksgiving I would have figured it out, but lately I’ve really been down. Mostly because it’s so easy to fall into thinking about the things I don’t have. I don’t mean the stupid things like a functional iPod (though I miss that), but the big things. Marriage. Or even a date. Kids. A group of friends to hang out with all the time, like when I was younger. A home of my own. A great job.

It’s hard, because too often I look at the lack and blame it on not being good enough, or being weird. Or I catch myself thinking it’s not fair.

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A very wise person once told me,

God answers our prayers in three ways:

“Yes.”

“Not yet.”

“I have something better for you.”

I’ve tried to hold onto that, the idea that he isn’t simply saying “no” to things, but he has a plan for my good and his glory. It’s hard to trust sometimes.

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Anyway, I realized on my walk I should spend some time reflecting on what I *do* have. As soon as I heard that part of the podcast I knew I should sit down and blog. This list could clearly go on for a very long time, so I’ll just hit a few highlights. It’s a good reminder to resume the habit of writing down daily blessings, a la One Thousand Gifts.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to go back to college. I’m thankful that my inheritance from my grandfather meant that I was able to jump into getting an associate’s degree without the added stress of going into debt. My classes have been going really well. I strongly dislike the networking topic, but I enjoyed the C++ programming class so much that I finished my final assignment 3 weeks early. It’s encouraging to see that I really do have an aptitude for this field and enjoy the material, as I had hoped. I’m hopeful that it will lead to a good job where I can thrive.

I’m thankful that I’ve been able to continue working part-time with my autistic client, and I am especially thankful that he got moved back to the best teacher I’ve ever worked with. Not only is she great to work with, but we’ve started spending time together outside of work as well – it’s so much fun to get to have a conversation with her without the kids interrupting every 10 seconds! I’m also thankful for the opportunity this job gives me to show other kids some love. There are some really sweet girls in my client’s class, and sometimes we have good conversations at lunch. They, in return, are a huge encouragement and blessing. Look at this:

I’m thankful for the awesome time we had in Nashville in September, at the Jars 20 Celebration Weekend. We got to casually chat with the band, meet other fans (including some people I interacted with online many years ago), have a special concert in the Blood:Water Mission office, tour their studio, and go to the Concert to End All Concerts at the Franklin Theatre. The guys were kind and gracious as always, and they even put up my photo gift where I could see it when they did the next online concert. Only The Office Convention weekend comes close in awesomeness.

I’m thankful for my family, who accept and support me in so many ways.

I’m thankful for my best friend, and my godson, and the technology like FaceTime that lets us keep in touch so it’s easier for him to remember me when I finally get out there to visit.

I’m thankful for my sweet, fluffy cat Gandalf. He makes me smile.

I’m thankful for the many bloggers who have helped me discover my place on the spectrum, understand more about myself and others, and make me feel less alone.