Come Along for the Ride...

How my journey as a submissive led me closer to God

Month: August 2016

I left off about four months ago. We were on the cusp of change. Moving. Changing jobs. Relocating our family. And suddenly our plans changed.

About one week after I wrote my last post, my father died. I knew it was coming, but didn’t expect him to go as quickly as he did. I had the time to say what I needed to say to him. Most of his family visited and he was at peace. He knew he was loved.

My first day at the new job was delayed by a week, because of his passing. I work for hospice, so if anyone understands everything that’s involved in dealing with death, hospice does. They were understanding and even sent flowers to his service. And then everything changed in a matter of a week, that week I was supposed to have started.

I walked into the office on my first day, and the three people who’d interviewed me were no longer with the company. My direct manager, the administrator and the regional director. All gone. The replacements were of a completely different mindset and had little to no concern for me or anyone else, nor for anything other than our numbers. It was like walking into a lion’s den. To make matters worse, I fell walking into a hospital to visit a patient and broke my foot. I’ve been sequestered to a desk since June, when I typically work in the field.

M’s job was not what it seemed either. The director of human resources that recruited and hired him, left after his second week on the job. No one else was designated to train him, so they tucked him away in a corner, watching training videos for three weeks. There was a complete restructure of his department, and his position changed significantly. Needless to say, he’s not happy.

The good news in all of this…we never relocated. It was almost as if God was looking out for us. We were outbid on the first house we liked and the second one had some major underlying issues, so we retracted our offer. It seemed there were all these obstacles around us finding a place to live. I am so thankful. We hate the commute, but we find ways to make it work while we look for jobs closer to home.

All of this turmoil has left me in a strange place. I am still grieving over my father. He and my mother died within 18 months of each other and that’s a lot to process. I really dislike my job and feel that I am being spiritually led to other ventures. I need to cultivate a different career path…one that allows me more time with my children and M. I am happiest when I serve others, and I’ve lost that part of job satisfaction where I am.

So our life has been re-routed. But we are still strong. Our family continues to thrive. And I am ever-grateful to be on this path to ‘whatever comes next’ with my M…even if he won’t stop to ask for directions. I know he will lead us to where we need to be. I know he will help me find who I’ve yet to become.