Emo Love Story for Girls and Gays (Not finished)

You are a new junior in high school and everyone else has been picking on you. You have a best friend named Luke. He was the guy you met onthe first day and you guys were instantly bonded. He is a sweetheart that seems to wear his heart on his sleeve... With everyone but you. Lately you have been having weird dreams about him and you being together, but you dont know what to think about them so you keep them to yourself. Your parents fight all the time and your older brother and sister moved out to live there lives so you are stuck alone in the world looking for an escape, you might have found one...

Submitted:Apr 24, 2013
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Chapter 1: The New School You and Luke are friends at school, but
it seems you never can hang out at school. You go home in your room
and you listen to music as you attempt to plan out the rest of your
life maybe it will all end like you want, but you can't end it this
soon. You have to stay strong for Luke. Luke is in your grade and
is the most handsome boy that over the past week you have been
slowly falling for. He is the sweetest boy you have ever met. He
stands at a height of 5'8 with gorgeous blue eyes that lure you
into getting lost into them. His gorgeous eyes, oh those eyes. You
could look at them forever. Unfortunately, you only have 3 out of 8
classes with him though. In the mornings he waits for you, but he
doesn't walk around with you. He waits for his girlfriend Ash.
Ashley Smith. She's the prettiest girl in your school, and of
course Luke's girlfriend. The sight of her cringes your stomach.
She has flawless teeth and rocks the perfect pale complexion. You
on the other hand are a lighter tan. Luke talks to you about
everything, from his love life, to the way he feels at home. You
wish he would just notice how much you really like him but with
Ashley in the way, that may never happen. Everyday you struggle for
the words to say to let him know how you truly feel, but you never
fully tell him because you are afraid of what he will say if
anything at all. You have a boyfriend named Xavier, but he just
sleeps and is gone most of the time. It gets so bad you find
yourself crying every night until eventually you just go to sleep
to dream nightmares. When you're at school you see him and ash. It
takes everything not to hit her. HER the one that has stolen Luke's
heart for the heat of the moment. Her. The girl that you compare
every morsel of yourself to. The one you spend hours upon hours
"fixing" yourself to fit the requirements you believe Luke has
because of the perfection Ash is. Her beautiful brown hair with
blonde highlights. Her perfect teeth that draws him into her smile.
Her style. The style you have but her pale skins makes it look
better on her. You try everything you can to make your skin white,
but nothing works. You haven't tried bleach though. Maybe you
should. Or maybe you should drink it to end it all. You cut for
every time you see them kiss, which is a record of 42 times
straight now. Do you tell anyone? Of course not. You're not a
freak, yet. You constantly get called fat EmO bitch to the point
you become anorexic. Maybe being skinny would help. You are a tad
chubby for your height. Or you think so. *****first person point of
view***** His touch. So flawlessly does he graze his teeth over my
neck sending sensations throughout my spine. His kiss on my neck
tingles the pit of my stomach. His crystal blue eyes lock stares
with mine as he asks, "_______, may I have this kiss?" I lean in
and close my eyes as....... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP The
alarm clock goes off as i groggily get out of bed to hear my
parents fighting again. It seems my alcoholic dad is at it again
with my mom. Great. Just another thing to add to the list. Hi, my
name is ________, and I am a junior in high school. It's a mediocre
high school in a mediocre town, with a mediocre life. No, I'm not
the richest kid on the block. Actually I'm probably the poorest.
Maybe that's why HE doesn't like me. Or it could be because I'm
friend zoned. Luke. My best friend now. I met him just these past 3
weeks and have been slowly falling for him since day 1. I think he
knows, but just doesn't care. He's in love with ash. :/ He is the
new kid from Kentucky. He moved here because of his past
relationship. He now has major issues that I have to help with. I
made this promise. It gets hard not to lust after him because the
occasional, "hey! _______! You're beautiful." Or "hey! ________ I
love you!" Lures me into believing its real, but that's life
sickest joke. Love, it's never real, for me at least. The love
stories never seems to be real. As I dress in my dark blue skinnies
along with my black suicide silence shirt, black converse, green
bow, and batman hoodie, I get a text from Panda. A.k.a. Luke. He
says to meet him in the commons, as usual. I see him there. He is
so gorgeous. Those piercing blue eyes that melts your heart as he
is staring at you. Why can't he see? As I walk up to his he jumps
up into a hug. His scent. Oh does his scent attract me. Most people
don't know this but I can hold a scent. His is just tasty. As I hug
him he kisses the top of my head. So cute. Luke Bates embracing me,
_______. "Hey ________. We have band practice on Sunday. Be there.
We only have the vocalists performing so its going to be me, you
and Ashley." As a disappointed looks smears across my face I say,
"oh. Okay. Sure ill be there." I fake a smile as if everything is
okay. It's not. Why am I so in love with him? Is it his scent? His
charm? What spell does this creature has me under? Chapter 2: Band
Practice Today is the day. The day that, maybe I can show him the
true me. Ash. What if she is better? What if he just laughs at me.
Makes a fool of me. He wouldn't. He's my best friend. I can trust
him. Or can I? He texts me. "Hey we're picking you up at the skate
park. Hurry and get there." Oh shit. I have to look pretty. I'm not
white like ash though. So what does it matter? Oh well. As I get
finished with my hair I ask Luke if he can take Xavier to the front
gate of ash brook estates. He gladly accepts, but Xavier doesn't
want to go. Why? I don't know. After picking up Ash, we see Xavier
walking along the highway. Why didn't he want to come with? :( Well
Luke wants to pick him up so we do. Xavier is pissed About it but
doesn't say anything. When we drop Xavier off, me, Luke, and Ash
all go to Luke's grandmas. Wow. The garage is a huge baby blue
garage that upstairs has a beautiful set up for mics, and band
practice. As he gets things set up I can't stand staring at his
midnight black hair, his perfect body. Even his face just seeps
perfection. After things are set up we get things started by him
warming up his vocals. His screams. So sexy. The biggest turn on to
a girl like me is a guy who can scream. As I'm shuttering in my
pants Ash is eyeing me, as if she wanted to slice my throat open in
the nicest way possible. I can't stop staring. When Luke sings you
can't help but to laugh. Is it bad? No, by all means no. He is just
so cute. When Ash goes up to sing i can't help but sink low into my
seat. Her voice. So beautiful. I could never compete with that.
Luke stares at her in admiration while i just sulk there. Hoping to
go unnoticed. Jesse, Luke's cousin, giggles at me. I take it he
thinks it is hilarious that she is a gorgeous, talented lady and
I'm a ragged, half decently talented child. Jesse suggests I go up
and sing as the group agrees. Ash pleaded for me to. Is she trying
to be friends with me? Me. The girl that craves her man's touch.
That lusts for his embrace. Can't be. Maybe she just knows I'm bad.
Or am I? Lately I haven't been practicing like I should, but I do
tid bits here and there with Elizabeth. Elizabeth and I both agree
love sucks and we are both in the same boat. Maybe that's why we're
so close. I haven't had a true best friend since Margret, my old
best friend from 2nd grade to 9th. So many memories now destroyed
by love and hate. Elizabeth is the first person since that I have
felt like I can trust. Anyways, back to band practice. To stall I
requested water before i even attempted it. As Luke and Ash went to
retrieve water, Jesse stayed. Oh well, he doesn't know me anyways
so what would it matter if he heard me sing? I went through Ash's
music in hope I find a song that would help me get better prepared.
Jersey by Mayday Parade. awesome. I feel this song can do the
trick. As I begin to sing Jesse got out his phone to record. Not
thinking much of it I began singing and dancing due to the need to
express myself when singing. Jesse laughed at me. Not hurtful
though. (: Midway singing I heard Luke creep up with Ash. They have
been listening. Holy poop. I'm screwed. Luke probably thinks I'm
some freak. He giggles as he approaches me telling me not stop. How
am I suppose to continue with red cheeks from embarrassment? Hmph.
Well, at least I have nothing to lose I sing, and sing, and sing. I
kinda sound good. Not better than Ashley, but still good. Luke
continuously stared at Ashley. Drinking her beauty as if for
nourishment. So much jealousy. Doesn't he realize I'm right here,
in front, trying to impress him. as lust takes over again they
kiss. Not once, a lot so much PDA with such little patience. Who
cares right? They are dating. It's HER boyfriend. I'm his best
friend. I'm sure it means nothing to him. Just as I was about to
say something I received a text. "Xavier is puking bad ________.
Where are you?" Oh shit. Xavier. As I rush out of the garage I ask
Luke where the nearest way to the main road is. "________, that's a
really long walk. Are you sure you don't want me to ask someone to
take you? "I'm sure Luke. I just need to go, now." "That walk is
like 2 hours. ________, are you okay? " "I'm fine" I lied. I wasn't
fine. I was 3/4 of the way to a breakdown and I needed to evade
that situation fast. Chapter 3: The Journey Home As I walk away a
tear streams from my face attempting comfort. I wipe it away as I
hear "_________, wait!" Luke rides his bike up to me offering
directions to the main road. Not being rude I accept and stand
listening to him. How can he act like he cares so much, but really
doesn't? If he did he would prove it. He attempts to put me on his
bike but after many fails we give up. maybe it wasn't meant to be?
probably not, in my case. He looks at me as I walk away daring the
distance. I sing all the way until I pass the front gate of
Ashbrook. Thank heavens I'm out of that place. I look back sobbing.
Thinking about every imperfection I have and about how Luke ditched
me the other day. It's probably because I'm not Ash. After several
creeps asking to give me rides I fell. So overheated from trying
not to tan to be white. To try to sweat more to lose weight.
Everything I can try to be perfect. I get up 10 minutes later and
begin running to get home to Xavier faster. Yet another time of
falling except my face smacked pavement. Ouch. Why do I cause
myself pain? I don't know. Maybe I'm just sick. At least that was
what my brother called me. *****back ground info.***** all my life
I have been picked on, beat up, called so many racial slurs I'm
permanently bruised and scarred. My brother has bullied me forever
now, when all I did was be nice. At the age of 7, he hung me from a
noose in my backyard. I was dead for 1 minute and 32 seconds until
my sister came out and revived me back to life. At the age of 9 he
shot me continuously with a BB gun. Scarring my legs. Wen I was 13
I dated a guy named Andrew. He beat me everyday for 10 months
straight. If I were to tell, he'd kill me. Finally I got sick and
tired of it I broke up with him. Boy did I get a hell of a beating.
He finally moved to Seymour to have a kid with Teah. In that 10
months we dated my grandma died and I lost my best friend Margaret
for the first time. She thought I was trying to get her ex to
cheat. She didn't believe me that he was a dick and it was HIM
trying to cheat with me until later when they broke up. We then
became sort of friends but not too close like we were. I dated a
guy named Aiden after that and for 8 months we were together I gave
him my v card and fell so hard. I broke up with him because I was
afraid of getting hurt. Worst. Mistake. Of my life. I tried to get
together with him and when we were going to start dating again, him
and Margret went in a date. After 8 months of being lied to about
him not liking her, him thinking she was ugly, him not liking the
freckles, him not liking her height, I realized he lied to me. They
began dating after me "giving acceptance" to it. What did it
matter. She was going to do it anyways. All of her new best friend
knew about their date BUT me. Hopeless lost in this love world I
cried. I cut. I attempted suicide 3 times. Never worked. I learned
to get over it, and live life. I played keyboard to try to get over
it and all I acquired was a new skill. Singing songs and helplessly
writing songs is what kept me through. Until I met Elizabeth. She
now understands me and I can talk to her. finally. The endless
nights of partying are now over. I've become a bit alcoholic, but
I've slowly recooped myself. I now smoke weed. It helps my nerves.
From Ash and Luke to memories of the past I am slowly dying. What
is happening to me? I'm transforming to what everybody wants. What
about Me. The past week has been complete torture sitting, smiling,
pretending not to care. When will I have my moment? All the while
this is happening I'm being torn between Xavier and Luke. Why can't
I know what to do? Xavier lately has been talking to me more and
cuddling more. Does he know? Does he understand what I feel about
him and Panda? What a scary thought. Him, Elizabeth, and my mom are
keeping me strong through all of this while my mind is being
forcefully torn apart. My heart hurts. I just need to escape.
"Aiden and Margret, together, forever." "Aiden and Margret,
together, forever." That phrase travels fiercely through my mind as
I rip and roar in my dreams. Dodging Aiden, dodging Xavier, and
Dodging Luke. I can't help but dream the same dream every night for
the past year. The same people I now recognize. The unfamiliar,
unknown face is discovered now. Luke. The one in my dreams. The one
I wanted. Xavier the one I have. The one I so dearly wanted 5 years
ago, but now I am unsure. And Aiden. The one I had. The one I truly
loved, the one I want so dearly to get back with. Why does this
triangle happen to me? As I see Aiden and Luke I can't help but to
the am I the selfish one? Do I deserve this? Help. Help. Help. I
repeat help. But no knight in shining armor arrives. "_________, we
have band practice tomorrow. Can you make it? " "yeah, of course."
"Right the fuck on. Get a bus note? C:" "okay lol" end. Another
band practice to suffer through after school tomorrow. Great. *****
The Next Day***** "Hey ________, got the bus note?" "yeah, let's
take it up there?" " We have to wait for Ash." "Kay." I mutter. We
walk to the attendance as Luke held Ash's hand. I claim envy upon
her. Her, the girl that is cool. The girl that is perfect. Luke's
girl. I suffer throughout the day waiting for 3:05 to arrive so I
can climb on the bus with Luke and Ashley and get this practice out
of the way. I. Can't. Wait. Band Practice #2 the first gig. Holy
fuck. Why am I here again? Band practice. I begin regretting I even
wanted to be in this, but any time with Luke is better than none.
So much drama though... Between ash and Luke because of Korey, his
secret love. I sit here thinking why? Why do I even speak. Why do I
try? They are just going to all over each other in a few minutes
anyways. This time, I know a secret. The secret for which many
centuries brings upon the dark glow of treachery if told. The
secret I have learned to deal with since my exbestfriend Emma had
shared with me. Among us, were vampires. They didn't need a fancy
ring to not crisp in the sun. That's all myth. They have something
greater. Power. Power to charm, to manipulate, to feed on whomever
they choose with the silver tongue. The power to rule. I've noticed
a strange behavior of Luke that I once saw in Emma and now I know.
he's a vampire. Luke. How could he not tell me until now? At band
practice he craved blood, but there no sources, yet. He was so
timid to hurt anyone and ash knew his secret. She willingly held
him off until he could get enough trench and willpower to inform me
on what was going on. When he said he had to talk to me, I knew. He
fulfilled the prophecy once told to me several years ago. The
prophecy of change. My mind went blank and I knew what I must do. I
had to give him mine. He needed it. After I deeply cut, I let him
feed. Slowly tears streamed down my face. I had to go. Luckily his
father came to the rescue. It was already 7:30 so band practice was
over. Finally. Time to leave. I met with Xavier at the gate.
"________, you okay?" He questioned. "Yeah, I'm fine." I muttered.
My arm was burning and all I felt was hatred. Hatred that Xavier
has been a dud, hatred that Luke can't see me, hatred that ash is
so luckily. Maybe it was jealousy. As I arrived home, I laid down
and I felt feverish. Oh no. Not the marking. The knot in my arm,
the muscle weakness, the light sensitivity. Emma warned me to never
let the saliva of a vampire enter your blood but I didn't take
caution, I had Porphyric Hemophilia also known as, vampires
disease. To make the transfer complete without having to deal with
all of the cons of being a vampire, I have to drink his blood.
Great. That Sunday we played our first gig. Til' death. Our band.
Mainly Ash's and Luke's but I was in there somewhere. When we went
on stage we were nervous s hell, but still ready. The first sng
began as I sat in the corner watching Luke and Ashley kiss on each
other while singing to each other and I was alone. Up on stage by
myself. Well, I might as well have been. The entire time I barely
sang, even on my song. What a drag. I guess being back up isn't my
forte. I am a lead singer. Not a back up. Soon after I got home I
received a message via Facebook from Luke. It discussed how I was
singin on Ashley's song and it threw her off. It devastated him and
her both. Mortified them actually. Of course it did. If they were
center stage it was horrible. I replied with my sweet sorrows
stating I no longer would be in their band because I am a lead
singer. Not to be treated unfairly as a back up. With this bad
news, Luke proposed a new idea. I could be in a different project
band with him. Just us, no Ashley. Of course we would have to find
different band mates for instruments, but still my band. I accepted
and shrieked with joy. Our band. The statement that repeats in my
mind constantly to no end. We barely texted after that. For what
reason? I have no clue. I was just happy he said it. Xavier wasn't
too happy, but he got over it. Long days and sleepless nights arose
as I continuously thought about Luke. Xavier began to notice and
changed. He has begun to stay with me most nights now, introduce me
to his friends, smoke with me, and even hold me more. He even
rubbed my feet. That means a lot to me. As days flew by, me and
Xavier have grown closer, but not as close as I wish to be with
Luke. I don't know what it is. His charm? His smile? The things he
says? I. Don't. Know. Whatever it is has overcame my mind with a
spell. After two weeks the thoughts slowly calm down, but still
arise at times. Him and ash went to prom together. Oh joy. That
furiated me even more. He looked stunning in his suit as well as
her in her dress. I sat at home crying and eating ice cream. I
couldn't stop thinking about him. Xavier came over soon after I
wiped away the tears and began putting on make up. Good thing he
never knew. I knew Monday was going to be hard to see them. As
Monday arrived, I carefully chose my purple Fall In Love overlay
shirt over my black tank top with my deep blue skinnies and my
black converse. I look cute. Maybe this will attracts Luke's eye.
Over the two weeks we haven't been talking as much so maybe he'll
want to talk to me in this. As I walk into the cafeteria, he
doesn't look up or at me what so ever. Elizabeth walks ove to him
and gives him a hug, but he keeps clear of me. I wait for them to
get done chatting so me a Elizabeth can leave, I just want to get
out. Fast. As we leave Elizabeth giggles stating that Luke kept
staring at me. Doubt it. I looked like shit. Or I felt like it due
to him not even caring as so much to say hi. I suffer through the
day to come home to my parents fighting. Alcohol. The main cause.
They are arguing and I see knives in the table, broken dishes
everywhere, my lightbulb had been broken by my dad, there was
nothing to do but cry. I went to my room and cried. After the
yelling calmed down, I went to my moms room to get the EBT stamps
for food. I walk to the store and bought an entire cart full of
food I know we will need later on in the month. I spent 64 $ and I
did we'll at budgeting. I was so proud that I ran the cart all the
way home. When I walked in the door they were yelling some more and
my dad cussed me out. Great. More stress. I put away the food and
joined my mother in laying down as she cried on my shoulder my mom
was so hurt. I haven't ever see her cry this much because of him.
It hurt me to see her like this. My strong mother breaking down. I
went into my room to lay down and s carol around on Facebook, just
to see posts of Margret and Aiden. Then Luke and Ash. It's like
love was laughing in my face as I swiftly cut my upper thigh 25
times, my other thigh 10, my right ankle 5 times and my left ankle
twice. I was hurt. I cried thinking of possibilities to kill my
self but then I thought of my mom. She needed me now more than
ever. I have to stay. I cried until I couldn't cry no longer. I
then prettied myself up took 7 pictures, and went to sleep with my
mom. Before doing so, I apologized to Luke for breaking the promise
of never cutting again. That was a promise ill never be able to
keep. He asked why and I went to sleep without explaining, the next
morning I awoke to quiet stillness and 5 minutes until the bus
came. Shit. I had to change my clothes, fix my hair, and out on
makeup. Luckily I did it in bough time, or my bus was late. I sat
silently on the bus wishing the day would end already. I walked
through the commons to see Luke wasn't there, just his stuff. He
was in the cafe with friends as I silently crept by to the
breakfast line. After grabbing breakfast and sitting down, he
approached me. E quizzed me in why I did what I did, but no reply.
I had to talk somewhere else. We moved to a hallway with no one in
it and I told him. He didn't comfort me. Instead, he lectured me.
Just what I need. More stress. I accepted him lecture and left. I
just wanted today to be over. After countless weeks I realized I
don't want to be with Luke, or do I? I realized he wasn't as great
as I thought. He didn't care about me. He didn't care about who I
was, what I said, how I dressed up for him everyday, just to see
him for that 5 minutes. He was fascinated with Ashley. I am no
match. As school rounded out I confirmed a few things. One, guys
don't like me. Two, no matter what I do, he won't notice me. He
won't know the tears I cried because of him. He won't know that I
have fallen in love with him. That I want him. After him and Xavier
meeting at the first and last gig of our band, he hinted the
infuriation within him about me being with Xavier. Why would he
care. He has barely spoken to me since. I just crave to talk to
him. :( he doesn't even look at me. That's it. I'm showing him what
I feel. "Hey _______!" "hey. We need to talk. " "Is everything okay
Hun?" "don't call me that. Not until you read MY story." i handed
him my iPad as he carefully read what I was feeling. What I've been
trying to show him.