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Archive for May, 2008

Hey guys reading this, this is gonna be a quick entry because simply…there’s unfortunately not much to cover. Thursday night, I went out to a place 15 mins away from me called Dublins. The place is swarning with hot chicks. I go with a bunch of friends that have no clue about this game, but at least one of the guys there likes to approach. We go there with 3 of our girlfriends.

I felt great. This was the first time in so long that the club didn’t overwhelm me. I was totally in WOOO! state from the beginning…totally self amusing myself from the get go. A problem that I tend to have is that my other friends are never on the same energy level as me, so I end up slipping back down to their level, therefore messing up my state. So I decided that whenever that tends to happen, I would walk off from from there, search the club, and talk to people in order to keep up my state.

So I walk along, and I spot a 2 set in the corner looking absolutely bored. One is a tiny latina chick (my target) and her ugly friend. So I roll in there with a huge smile on my face and a weird look, and say in a BR tonality, “What’s wrong with you guys? Why are you so miserable, this is a club. COME ON!” This gets them hooked, because I’m projecting myself as this positive fun guy, so this is how they perceive me and end up trying to mirror. The ugly girl explains that she got into a fight with her boyfriend and that theyre trying to look for him. If I was into this girl, I would’ve taken advantage of this but I dont. I’m just spitting nonsense at them, totally illogical, and they love it. I’m throwing around the latina girl, and saying how cute they look in the corner of the club like two puppies in the pound. I eventually eject the set to find my friends, and I’m kicking myself for doing that. I had the target in the palm of my hands. But, it was a learning experience and I know what to do next time this occurs.

I talk and dance with more sets but it doesnt lead to anything. I have to learn to bust out my core manly sexual intent when I go out. This has always been something outside of my reality, because I was always afarid of being called creepy. But since superconference, I dont really give a shit if I’m called that. As long as I’m not being a chode, and I am acting through my own intentions.

So there it is. Not much of a field report, but I’m learning a ton each time I go out. I’m starting to see the social matrix, but I feel like I’m outside the glass wall looking in still….but I feel like I’m only a few stones away from breaking that glass. I promised not to fail myself, and I’m going to do what it takes to reach my goal. I am that sex worthy guy…so I need to project that more. Until next time, take care guys.

A 22 year old kid from Long Island walked into Millenium Hilton Hotel on May 23, 2007. He dabbled in “pick up” for about two months, making small and tiny progresses here and there. A step up from before that time, but still lost in the dark completely….

I could never really remember the last time I felt free. Even in my childhood, I dealt with more severe anxiety attacks and breakdowns than I could remember. I still don’t know what caused them, and I’m not going to find out. My father went through periods of not talking to me. I remember the days and nights sitting in my room; he would come into my sister’s room to say hello and shoot the shit, and I’d sit there at the edge of my chair hoping he’d come acknowledge me, only to see hear him walk past my room. I still to this day, still think of a reason to be treated this way. Me as a young sensitive teenager took that to heart, and felt I wasn’t worth much. Hell, if I wasn’t to my dad, than why would women?

I got hook ups here and there, and relationships that I fucked up because I was too insecure. Then it was a few months ago where I fell ass backwards into this community. Seeing men like Tyler, Jeffy, Ozzie, etc., as well as the “top guys” on RSDN to make huge changes in their lives to get where they are today truly aspired me. I always knew my potential, but I never allowed myself permission to take a risk. I have nothing to lose. I really don’t have a choice anymore. Knowing that there are guys out there just like me making huge progresses in their lives because they said “We need a fuckin change” gives me hope that I will too.

The Flawless Natural Superconference opened a new way of thinking from me. I met some of the best of the best there is; Tim, Alexander, Nathan, Ozzie, and Jeffy…all shedding light on the attendees, and chipping away my chode armor. I learned that stepping out of my comfort zone is the only way to get better. I learned that through everything in life, I must be whom I was meant to be. I learned that it is okay to be that touchy feely guy that can display his physical manly dominance. The epihanies and A-HA moments were numerous, and I feel like I walked out of the superconference on Sunday as a new man. I met other positive awesome guys who just like me, want to make a difference in their lives. Shout out esp to TheWarlock and Rudey (already making nice progresses from the FRs I’ve seen)

So I’m starting to blog for a couple of reasons. It’s an investment in myself. It will track my progress and force myself to reach past my comfort zone to get my ultimate life goals. It will give me no excuses. I can’t give up. Go out or die. I’m starting this blog to create a no way out scenario.

I truly believe that there is light at the end of this chode cave. But I have to keep digging and digging….keep on keepin on without looking back….

This was the intro blog to establish the journey. To lay the foundation of where I used to be….to never have to rehash the past and leave it where it is. I will incorporate FRs, and epihanies as they come. Hopefully pictures as well. Take care brothers.