Monday, September 15, 2008

Slumber party recap and other mumble jumble

On Friday my daughter had a slumber party with EIGHT friends of hers. If any of you have never dared to try this I would advise against it lmao! No really it went pretty good over all. We were supposed to pick all the girls up after school and got a frantic call from Ray about an hour before school was done that only 2 of the 8 girls remembered to bring notes from home! The teacher said she talked to the principal and they could not ride home with us without them.

Hubby was a good sport about it all and went and picked Ray and 2 of her friends up then met the busses in each girls neighborhood to pick up the rest of them. An hour later began the chaos and noise ;) I had cut up watermelon and strawberries for a snack so when they all got here they sat around and had a bite to eat.

I made up a game called the funniest scavenger hunt ever and they were split into 4 teams and colors. Hubby and I sat on our couch and judged and OH MAN was it funny! I really wish there would have been a 3rd person here to take pictures. I got a before and ending pic though that I will share. They all had a ton of different items in their baskets they had to run to the basket find the item and were instructed to do specific things with each item. They were all good sports. One was to together tie 25 diaper pail bags into a rope, once done run to us and take turns wrapping the bags around each other's waist. The second one had to keep wearing it for the rest of the game. Another one was one teammate snap a glow stick and the other had to carry it with their toes with the other teammate keeping one finger on them the whole way back to me. Another was with ring pops, they had to open them and come running to us and pronounce their everlasting friendship to one another. It was so funny! The whole game was a blast.

After that we ordered pizza and ate. One of the girls had to leave to go to a dance thing for 2 hours and her mom came right as we were cutting the Dairy Queen ice cream cake. So we saved her a piece for when she got back at 8:30. After pizza and cake all the girls ran around outside with 3 of our neighbor's girls for almost 2 hours.

Right at cake time my sister, nephew and her friend showed up. My sister was SO upset with my mom! I will get to that in a bit. Aedan had fun flirting with all these girls ;)

Ray opened her presents then they all played games like spoons and around 11 I made 4 bowls of popcorn and they all laid down to watch a movie and fall asleep. We turned our guest bedroom into a huge bed with air mattresses and blankets. It worked everyone had somewhere to sleep.

There was only one girl who seemed to be the one creating problems all through out the evening. I felt bad for Ray because by popcorn and movie time she came to me and said "Mom I don't wanna have a sleepover next year for my birthday" lol! She felt like she was playing mediator the whole night.

The next morning we all woke up and hubby and I made french toast, sausage, and bacon for breakfast. Ray and couple girls picked up the guest bedroom. I went down and got her and told her to come eat I WILL FINISH cleaning when everyone leaves. She was trying to hard to help and I was telling her be a kid lol

About 30 minutes after everyone left her dad picked her up for the night. So I spent most of Saturday cleaning. By that night I was so ready to sit down and do nothing at all. But my house was spotless and smelled great so it was all good!

Back to my sister and mom. My mom has been drinking just as much as ever from what I hear. On Friday my mom decided to log onto my sister's AOL or AIM (Not sure which one) account and pretend to be her for a bit then tell her current BF it was actually her (my mom). She proceeded to act like a 6 year old and say inappropriate things to this young man. This current BF of hers is the best thing that ever happened to my sister! He doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, he has a fulltime job, he is beyond respectful to everyone in his life, he treats my sister with nothing but respect and care, he is a great influence in her life period! So my mom decided to air my sister's dirty laundry so to speak to this BF. She told him lies and some truths.

I have old school beliefs, meaning honesty, you do not mess aroundwhen committed to someone, you tell the truth, you pretty much give all of yourself and more to the person you love. My sister lives in a different generation who unfortunately learned from the best and had no guidance to learn to live the right way. My mom has always spoiled my sister to make up for the drinking and the hurt she causes her. I have done the best I can for the last 18 years to try to teach her the most important values in life but my mom has taught her what she wants she gets and nothing and I mean NOTHING is off limits!

So my mom was completely out of line (AS USUAL!) doing what she did because if she cared she would not try to destroy the best thing that has happened to her. But hubby and I told my sister that what was done was done and she couldn't change it but she could use this as a time to put all cards on the table with her BF and start fresh. Trust is earned and his got shook Friday night. He is still with her trying to make sense of it all but she needs to be fair to him and give him the same loyalty he gives her.

My mom is so unpredictable and the things she does to hurt her kids she doesn't even realize half the time. She thinks in some weird twisted way that she is doing the right thing. Some of you may remember me talking in a previous entry how anything that could rock the boat my mom deals with only drunk. She takes the drunk approach and it is almost always inappropriate period. You cannot reason with a drunk. If she mothered her kids the way a parent should she has every right to be upset with my sister. But drunk and nasty is not the way to come at a problem. Everytime my mother does something like this that has one of so upset and crying and heartbroken it pushes me to continue being the mother I am. It pushes me to always keep going (Even when things get rough) because I REFUSE to ever let my children hurt the way my siblings and I do over the things our mother has chose to do or not do. There will never be a day in my kids lives that they need me and I am not there. I never want them to know what it feels like to need some love or nurturing and pretty much get smacked in the face because alcohol is more important.

Yet everytime something like this happens. She never ceases to amaze me. What happened with my son wasn't rock bottom, so in my eyes she has no rock bottom. I love her so much but I have so much anger and bitterness towards her and I honestly cannot say I will ever talk to her again. If she would have got herself into rehab and tried to get better I would have. But hearing how much she is drinking and the things she is doing still, I cannot bring myself back into that and sure the hell will not let my kids be a part of it again.

It is getting chilly here in MN! Heat is on today. What else has been going on?? My MIL and SIL had a huge garage sale Thurs-Sat. On Thursday I spent the day over there. We had a ball chatting away in the garage. Hubby has been sick for a few days now. I think he has a sinus infection. Today he seemed better so that is good! Well I will wrap this up for now and add some pictures from the slumber party!

7 comments:

sybilsybil45
said...

What a smashing sleep over party. I so admire you and the way you handle life and the way you treaty others. Long may you continue to do so love. As for your Mom well drink is a terrible addiction every bit as bad as drugs and cigarettes...but a lot more visable...One day she to will be judged and thankfully we do not need to do it....Take care, much love Sybil xx

We let my son have a slumber party birthday party when he was in grade school we had 13 kids then the neighbor kids stayed way late too...LOL..it was crazy...I did it for my oldest too when she was younger all my kids are separated out in age so guess I will do it for my youngest too she is in first....nothing like a good slumber party! Have a good week..Hugs,TerryAnn

you have the most beautiful home.....love that cake.....the girls look so happy and like they are having so much fun...i HAVE hosted parties like that and afterwards you are more exhausted than the girls! loli am SO proud of you for not talking to your mom...i feel the same way. I have always said you can not reason with a drunk. Your mom will have to want to change and if she never wants to, she will not. I know you love her and it all hurts your soul. You are one hell of a strong woman. XOXOXO

Looks like they had a fantastic time..... well apart from 'drama queen'.......lol or was she trying to be a statue.........they all seem to be so happy............. wish i could turn the clock back 40 years ....lol.

The house is beautifulSorry to hear that your mum done that to your sis........... thats terrible. Hope everything goes well with her and the boyfriendhugs Jayne

Wow! It looks like the party was a huge hit. Much better than the one I had at 12 when we made colored sand designs in baby food jars. And then, of course, dad got drunk on every birthday of mine. Yep, we have alcoholic parents in common. Only, my dad got sober about 20 years ago. Although, he lived his life as a "sober drunk" until he died in 2004. Meaning, he still had the same nasty "drunk" personality even though he was sober. He could be very mean and self centered.I hope you find a place of peace with your mom.Thanks for stopping by my photo blog.Jill Marie