The Onion

As the mainstream media's desperate attempt to salvage it's reputation by discrediting "fake news" sources rages on, Morning Consult has released a new poll ranking the "credibility" of the various print and TV media outlets.

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:

“Unfortunately, late Monday evening, a major failure in our news feed program allowed a significant number of users to come into contact with concepts unfamiliar to them... To those who were forced to read a headline they did not agree with when they visited Facebook yesterday, we are deeply sorry..."

“The truth is, yes, we can find pockets of things that are slightly less correlated. But the question is when this kind of moving-in-tandem will be very painful, when things move in the other direction.”

Amid the sound and fury of the presidential campaigns, one thing that is crucially unimportant appears to be policies... but in case you need to actually understand the actual differences between 'the crook' and 'hitler' actually are, HSBC has provided a handy cheatsheet...

"It's the other side's fault..." Seriously, it’s about time these jerks on the other side of the political spectrum woke the hell up and started having the exact same background, experiences, and upbringing as me...