Surreal response to 'Hampton Shore' reality show TV ad

Wannabe stars answer casting call, 'audition' for reporter

HAMPTON — The same day Seacoast Media Group publicized a Craigslist ad casting for what seemed to be a "Jersey Shore" clone television show set on Hampton Beach, its owners apparently took the ad down. But that didn't stop the would-be Snookis and JWowws of tomorrow from flooding my e-mail inbox with their credentials.

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By Nick B. Reid

seacoastonline.com

By Nick B. Reid

Posted Feb. 28, 2014 at 2:00 AM

By Nick B. Reid
Posted Feb. 28, 2014 at 2:00 AM

» Social News

HAMPTON — The same day Seacoast Media Group publicized a Craigslist ad casting for what seemed to be a "Jersey Shore" clone television show set on Hampton Beach, its owners apparently took the ad down. But that didn't stop the would-be Snookis and JWowws of tomorrow from flooding my e-mail inbox with their credentials.

"Ripped up, tatted up and newly 21," wrote Kevin, who noted that he lives close to Hampton Beach and provided a phone number with a Rhode Island area code.

For the applicants' sakes — and in the hopes they'll make better life decisions — I'm not going to disclose anyone's last name. But don't take that to mean that they didn't send me their phone numbers, links to their Facebook profiles, invitations to video chat with them and questions about when and where they can go for an audition.

And to be clear, Seacoast Media Group has nothing to do with this show and never purported to. The 20 people — mostly 19- to 21-year-olds — who e-mailed me within 24 hours of the story being published apparently read the headline, saw my e-mail address next to my byline and immediately began imagining their lives as cast members on the next "Jersey Shore." Dylan, who linked me to his Facebook profile, wrote a status announcing to all his friends that he just e-mailed "the main CEO guy of that reality show in Hampton."

Thanks for the promotion, but I can't help you.

What I can and will do here is share with readers the five best things I uncovered in those e-mails.

1. Dylan, who announces proudly in his subject line, "I will make that show happen."

"I want to sighn up for the show because i know how to party and anyone u ask on the seacoast about me i go hamm (hard as a mother———) and i would make that show happen in my townn and i got a bunch of friendz that are retardz but there mad funny ... one of my partyz it went so crazy a fat girl fell threw the floor."

Now that's must-see TV.

Congratulations, Dylan. If I actually had anything to do with this show, you would have been the first cast member.

"I like to think im the s—- lol I have tons of friends on the beach I have a background in acting I love to cause a seen but never really get into trouble me and my friends tear thus beach up alll year long and I would love to show the world what's really popin at our beach."

At least she says she never gets into real trouble. But then again, that was one of the requirements in the original ad.

3. 18-year-old Jake, who started his own reality show that failed but would be perfect for mine.

"I made my own reality TV show once called 'Average Jake' but it failed. I would love to be part of something legit like 'Hampton Shore'! I have a great personality and I'm confident enough to show it to the world on a TV show!"

4. Keith, who takes things in a different direction.

He's not gung-ho about this, but he is polite. He begins his e-mail, "To whom it may concern," instantly setting himself apart from the crowd, before asking for more details about the show — rather than giving all his unsolicited details to me.

Savvy.

Keith ends by thanking me for my time. No, Keith, thank you.

5. 20-year-old Sabrina, who was a latecomer to the party but made a strong showing nonetheless.

She describes herself as a "very crazy, outgoing, fun girl" and notes that she has 11 tattoos as well as piercings. I know she's not lying about the tattoos, because in one of the photos she sent me she has her hand placed casually on her hip edging her already low pants down to show one off.

"I'm such a tanaholic," she writes. "Renting a beach house with a bunch of friends for a week with some booze, strangers and a good a— time."

After flipping through these e-mails, I can't imagine why the company that made the original post would have removed it and posted a refined version to include the line, "This is not a 'Jersey Shore' style show," while also removing the line that asked specifically for people who enjoy causing trouble on the boardwalk.

Judging by the small selection of e-mails I received, they were well on their way to making the next hit TV show.