Emmanuel College, Cambridge (thing)

Emmanuel College was founded in 1584 by Sir Walter Midmay, who was a man of puritan sympathies. He hoped that the college would educate protestant preachers. Never mind, eh, Walt? It’s open to men and women (since 1979 it’s been mixed) and is made up of 450 undergraduate and 150 graduate students. It boasts a chapel designed by Sir Christopher Wren, and is generally speaking quite pretty, though in a much less grand way than, say, King’s or Trinity.

The new master is the fabulously big eared Richard Wilson, former cabinet secretary. The senior tutor is Richard Barnes. Sciences admissions tutors are Drs Barnes and Henderson; arts admissions tutor is Dr Jarvis.

The college has finished second in the Tompkins Table (which academically ranks the colleges, somewhat spuriously) for the last two years. Now I’m here, things may go downhill a little.

Good things about it, aside from its academic merit:

Excellent bar: voted the best amongst the colleges repeatedly. It hosts the fabulous FunkDaBar, which has welcomed such luminaries as grooverider, nicky blackmarket, and scratch perverts this year alone. Not bad for a sleepy east anglia town. It also has extremely cheap drinks since, unlike all the others, it’s student run: £1.20 for a pint!

Off the tourist track. No nosy gits with cameras getting up your nose when you’re trying to talk with your mates in the front courtyard. Makes a big difference in summer, by all accounts.

Supposedly, a laid-back atmosphere, though that seems to me a pretty unquantifiable thing, and entirely dependent on your set of friends. But everyone else says so.

Nice gardens, and pretty reasonable accommodation. Average rent.

Cute ducks, though it drives me mental the way everyone bangs on about the fuckers.I wanna eat one.

Free laundry service! The only college to offer one. A bag a week.

My friends all go here, and they seem quite nice.

Bad things about it:

Everyone harping on about how cute the damn ducks are.

The rugby lads. All twats.

Not a fabulous library, for English, anyway.

Some second year accommodation is miles away.

Food extortionately priced given the quality, which is poor to middling.

Obviously everyone thinks the same thing about their own college, but I’m pretty glad I chose this one. It’s lovely.