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Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Saying Goodbye

I told Nathanael I'm not myself today. I supposed it's good intuition to know that this is the truth. We have spent the past two weeks or so saying goodbye, sometimes more than once. In the midst of raising children, packing, maintaining a house in a developing hot country, we are facing our transition.

I am a reader. I've been immersing myself in books. I had finished the Lord of the Rings series at 3am one day. As someone who KNOWS what will happen it was driving me nuts. Couldn't we just get to the exciting part and throw the ring into the mountain? When do they get to be heroes? Frodo and Sam discussed this as well. Frodo specifically talked about how we weren't meant to know what will happen.

I returned one of my kindle unlimited books. I was just getting to the exciting part. It was a mystery and I was finding out the "what" of the story that kept being implied. Yet as it got interesting, I returned the book. You see I hate mysteries. The day I returned the book, I realized why. I find great security in knowing what will happen. Stepping into the unknown is scary for me, even if it's a better place.

Jesus Deaf Church had a goodbye party for us on Friday. (thus the pictures)We are so thankful to Nancy for giving us such a lovely send off. Even I cried and I am a "after griever". It is wonderful to feel like you made an impact. I spent the last weekend cuddling kids I'll miss in Sunday school and divvying out presents for them, using up the rest of our treasures from the US.

We are saying goodbye. Although we "knew" this for a while, we really have no clue what returning will look like. Sure we're coming "home". We realize that we are irrevocably changed, as are you. A year changes a person! We may not "fit in" to the way we pictured and our friends may have changed.

And so we face the goodbyes, and hello's. We are thankful for both. We are thankful for a knowing, not just in our heads but in our hearts and visibly that we are loved. We continue to face the unknowns and tread forward, on the path God has for us. We are slowly discovering the journey is what has value, and to love just being a part of it.