:Free 2 Lay - Not So Much:

Corny as it sounds, Nothing is FREE.

By DJ LoAssociated Pimped WriterFebruary 19, 2007, 8:29 PM EST

PLANO, Texas--The American maker of
corn and potato chips, Frito-Lay, Inc was not happy with the pricing
structure of the discontinued PPC shirt. Apparently, there is
an associated cost with a Lay thus cannot be free.

According to Chief Financial Officer,
Chip Layman, "Each lay has an
associated cost of $.005149 per serving size. In order to
recoup that cost, we are asking customers that received their lays for
free prior to May 18, 2004 to please send check or money order to
the corporate office in Dallas."

In related news,
the Onion, American's finest news
source, states that
Frito-Lay will launch a Flat Earth marketing campaign based on the
slogan, "Bet You Can't Eat Even One." Surprisingly, however, the
company is also in talks with distributors to ensure that Flat Earth
snacks are installed in every school vending machine in the country.