And speaking of blades, now comes the case of fragrant tantalising doe-eyed [Get on with it - ED] Myleene Klass.

In her kitchen "in the early hours of Friday when she saw two teenagers behaving suspiciously in her garden.

The youths approached the kitchen window, before attempting to break into her garden shed, prompting Miss Klass to wave a kitchen knife to scare them away."

Ho ho - a likely story. My reaction if I'd been PC Plod on the scene?

"I don't believe you ... prove it ... that was an iconic kitchen window those ruffians approached."

Faugh! The hussy! Thinks she can get away with a line like that!

Munir Hussain gets 30 months; Ms Klass gets a warning by the Filth "that she may have acted illegally."

What an idiotic effed up country, with its CCTV cameras and dumpling-joweled gum chewers, and poodle prime minister.

Thank GAHD I'm not experiencing the laughing-stock death throe shambles to which the country has been reduced.

Police should “get their priorities straight” and concentrate on pursuing troublemakers rather than “turning on” householders who are simply protecting their properties from intruders.

Offensive Kitchen knife: "Hertfordshire police warned her she should not have used a knife to scare off the youths because carrying an "offensive weapon", even in her own home, was illegal."

Naffing cretins: "Klass's spokesman, Jonathan Shalit, said the former Hear'Say singer was "utterly terrified" by the intruders and "aghast" at the police warning.

"All she did was scream loudly and wave the knife to try and frighten them off," he told the Sunday Telegraph. "She is not looking to be a vigilante, and has the utmost respect for the law, but when the police explained to her that even if you're at home alone and you have an intruder, you are not allowed to protect yourself, she was bemused."Utmost respect for the law no longer, I have no doubt. How much of an ass does the Law have to be before the citizenry twig and dismiss it as irrelevant?

According to The Sunday Telegraph, Klass was left "bemused" when police officers told her that carrying an "offensive weapon", even in her home, was illegal.

That is a very polite word to use for such bizarre thinking by the Filth.

Spokesman for the Marks and Sparks model:

"Myleene was aghast when she was told that the law did not allow her to defend herself at home. All she did was scream loudly and wave the knife to try and frighten them off."

Get this - talk about wriggling out of it.

A police spokeswoman said no reference was made to the knife in the incident report, adding:

"Words of advice were given in relation to ensuring suspicious behaviour is reported immediately."

They can't even speak bloody English ... and what about this nonsense courtesy of the Star (I dont quote that noble rag nearly enough):

Loipon, mellifluous MarksSparks sweetie waves the blade and the yoofs, the Filth arrive arrive, warn her that carrying an “offensive weapon” was illegal – even in her own home.

Here it comes: Herts police confirmed: “Words of advice were given to the owner of the property.”

Some ex con, now editor of the national prisoners’ newspaper ConVerse, commented:

“While I probably understand a little more about why people turn to burglary, the police here seem to have lost the plot.

“It’s understandable why the majority of the public think their actions bonkers. We all have a right to protect our homes and families.”

I am indebted to several policemen, active and retired, who have emailed to complain about the idiocy of the warning issued by officers to Myleene Klass, the diminutive singer, for brandishing a breadknife on her own property towards men who were trying to steal from one of her outbuildings.

She had her infant child in the house with her at the time. Policemen of an older generation say the failure is in the training in the law that recruits now receive, which comes from “Janet and John books”.

Another tells me that Section 1 of the Prevention of Crime Act 1953 specifies that Miss Klass would have committed a crime only had she been in a public place.

He describes the officers concerned in terms I cannot repeat in a family newspaper. I am keen for the public not to hate the police, for they remain our only hope against the army of criminals bred by Labour’s policies.

But if they keep picking on harmless and vulnerable people like Miss Klass, hatred will be the least of their worries."