Немного о любви

“I mean, just…think about it. Love is a fantastic, miraculous, utterly mysterious thing. And it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. No logical reasoning behind it. Here’s my theory. There are two sides to love. There’s the ‘oh, I want love, when will I find someone to love me?’ and then there’s ‘I’ve found someone, I’m in love, that’s that.’ But, in my opinion, love is not just wanting and having. There’s so much more to it. Granted, most of it doesn’t make sense, but it’s still there.

“Ask yourself these questions. Why do we love the people we love? Why not someone else? Why am I the one who loves this person? Why does he see in me? What do I see in him? We can give endless reasons as to why we love someone, but that doesn’t explain why those reasons are true. Why do we love the things we love about them? Why do these things appeal to us, of all people? Take my marriage, for example. My husband’ll say he loves the way I run my fingers along the edge of the pages when I read. Okay. Why does that appeal to him? He has no idea. I love the way his glasses rest on the bridge of his nose when he’s irritated. Sure, fine. But why? Why do I love that about him? Why doesn’t someone else love him for that? Why me? Why him? Are you following me at all?”

“Yes. Oh, yes. I’m just thanking God that this session is being recorded, because there’s no way I’d be able to jot all of this down,” Dr. Hewson replies.

“It’s just…fascinating, unpredictable, and inexplicable. So many questions that cannot be answered. For thirty-eight years, I didn’t question it. Now all I have are questions. I wonder why God chose for me to be in love with him, and vice versa. The thing about Jed and me is that…we’re so different, yet so exactly the same. I know that doesn’t make much sense but I swear to God, it’s the truth.”

“It makes sense.”

“The most phenomenal thing about love, I think, is the whole coincidence thing. You always hear of unrequited love and all that, and most people have actually experienced it. So when you do finally find love, it’s incredible. What are the odds? What are the odds, that out of all the millions of people in the world, the one person you love loves you too? Millions of people. The odds that the person you love just happens to love you too are outrageous. And yet it happens everyday. It just astonishes me. People who love and are loved in return are so unbelievably fortunate. And yet, no matter how much you love someone, or how much they love you, you’re never completely exempt from hurting them at some point. The little things get in the way. You’d think that if you could beat the million-to-one odds of achieving mutual love, that you’d be able to avoid a fight about forgetting to take the trash out. So, in some respects, love is the most powerful thing in the universe, but even the most powerful thing in the universe isn’t immuned to stupidity and the wrath of the almighty human ego. Makes you think.”

Dr. Hewson is lost for words. He has been a psychiatrist for thirty years, and never once has he witnessed a theory so insightful and astounding. Never once has the thought of love in the way she so clearly understood. Never once has the thought even occurred to him that love might be so complicated. People are complicated, he knows, and he always assumed this was the reason love was so often betrayed. Never has he considered love to be a force all on its own. Certainly Abbey Bartlet was an expert, as one who has experienced such incredible love, and now is living with the results of its flaws.

“My final contribution to this topic is one last question,” Abbey says. “What is it about my husband that makes me believe I honestly could not live without him somewhere in this world? I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why something so wonderful has to be so painful.”