So today's infinite philosophical debate begins with something triggered in my hiatus....fear. I had to move due to various issues with my family and the fact I was unemployed for a short stint. But in this relocation, I encountered something that, and I make an assumption here, everyone encounters some time. If not every day, we all experience fear. Whether it be fear of the unknown, fear of loss, or the fear of not being who you are supposed to be, etc., we all have them, and they affect us in ways we sometimes don't even comprehend. I myself feared moving to my familial home. I have lived on my own or with roommates for the better part of a decade, I have a large network of friends and aquaintances that form my social safety net, and up until November a steady and secure job.

But necessity dictated that I quit that horrible job, and move to where my family, for the most part, dwells. This forced a confrontation with a fear I've had since a child. I fear displacement. I hate feeling like I'm somewhere I don't belong. It creates discord internally. It's a discontentment that fades over time, and more quickly with the acquisition of new friends. But it confounds me to no end that, as a person who loves to travel and search out new places, I have issues with uprooting my home and moving. I mean, I moved 9 times in 7 years within a ten mile radius. Moving to another state however seems to have shocked my system into survival mode, rather than creating a positivity that it feels like it should have. I mean, I now live within 10 minutes of the majority of my family. I should be elated to have that opportunity, one that I've been without for almost three decades.

So what do I do? I have no one to have legitimate discourse here. My brain festers with uncertainty...and my feelings at the lack of my societal utility grow daily.