According to 28-year-old Arya Bahmanyar, CoinDaddy “has to be the worst person ever”. That’s kind of an important quote, because Arya is CoinDaddy.

He told his story to the Daily Beast, so let’s start off with the basics:

Raised in the Bay Area and currently residing in the painfully uncool East Bay suburb of Walnut Creek (by choice), Bahmanyar created CoinDaddy in a cryptocurrency trading chat room too exclusive for him to disclose to me by name. In the fall of 2017, Bahmanyar, who recently began living full time off his earnings from cryptocurrency, started a hobby to keep himself busy: he wrote a song about losing a bitcoin in a bad trade and sent it to other traders in the chat.

“We all thought it was the worst thing we had ever heard in our entire lives, so we decided to do more of it,” he explains in a brisk, businessy rant.

…he began curating a costume: a Flava Flav-esque clock, a white faux fur coat (price tag: $60), white hat, and a bitcoin symbol chain. He started donning the costume at crypto meetups and happy hours in San Francisco. People would ask: “Who are you?” and he would confidently answer: “I’m CoinDaddy.”

At this point we should break and let you listen to the kind of beats that CoinDaddy is dropping. This is his third most popular YouTube video, edging towards 18 000 views:

Fancy sharing a brekkie with CoinDaddy? OK, if we must:

Still here? Oh – I guess we should tell you more about this chap:

After graduating with a business degree from George Washington University in 2011, he moved to New York City looking for work and ended up in a crammed apartment with four other people. In 2013, he found himself at a bitcoin meetup in Manhattan and after was invited to one of the founders’ apartments for a bitcoin tutorial.

This led to him buying in despite being terrified of the risk. “He told me to put in what I had. ‘Just put in your cash, you’ll make it work,’” he recalls. “I was scared shitless, my hand was shaking on the mouse. I couldn’t even click. My heart was beating through my eyeballs.”

…He wants to collaborate with A-listers like Kanye West, who he claims is a “match made in heaven from an egotistical perspective,” and to follow in the footsteps of Pitbull in hosting cultural events including—but not limited to—Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.

Can anybody put CoinDaddy in a room with Pitbull, and then seal the room permanently shut?

Let’s finish with another look at the ‘worst person ever’ tag:

…I dug up a video for a song called “REKT,” where CoinDaddy repeatedly uses the N-word in the three-word chorus: “rekt, nigga you rekt (4x).” When asked about his word choice, triggering the only long pause in our conversation, the white rapper said, “You need to realize [sic] the context in which it was said. The new songs [all songs are less than six months old] are more conscious. Anyone who listens will see that it’s just silly and stupid.”