‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Trailer: Now With More Innuendo and Plane Rides!

That ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2’ trailer almost stole some thunder tonight because I pretty much forgot that we were getting a brand, uh, spanking new, Beyoncé-accompanied trailer for ‘50 Shades of Grey.’ Shady move, Blart. The second full trailer for the upcoming adaptation of the popular ‘Twilight’ fan-fiction erotica novel is here, so let’s break it down, shall we?

So we’ve got a lot of the same stuff from the first film, like “Mr. Grey will see you now” and his dumb helicopter, as well as the very smart use of a Beyoncé track because who doesn’t love Bey? No one is going to turn this trailer off. But this trailer also adds a hilarious plane ride into the mix, as well as a more extensive trip into Christian’s “red room of pain” (Anastasia’s description from the book), and a super cliché shot of Ana looking up the definitions for “dominant” and “submissive.” It’s like she’s practicing to give a speech. “Webster’s defines ‘dominant’ as...” Boo! Get off the stage, Ana.

This latest ‘50 Shades of Grey’ trailer is also packed with innuendo, and it’s unclear if the trailer is just edited that way, or if this film is going to be the cinematic equivalent of a double entendre with cheese. Take, for instance, the beginning shots of Ana tying her hair and Christian tightening his tie—which implies the kinky bondage to come later. Then there’s the shot of Ana walking out into the rain after all that sexual tension, which is like a metaphor for sexual release. It’s so obvious! And don’t even get me started on all the oral fixation stuff and the constant fidgeting.