The company can’t, however, make that claim about the papers filed yesterday in response to her suit. Those court filings constitute a character beating of mythological proportions.

E*Trade has punched Lohan, kicked her, pulled her hair and has removed a shoe so that it could beat her with it while she’s on the ground writhing in pain. They hit Lohan so hard, her yard died.

Lohan’s suit is based on this ad:

In the suit, Lohan claims she’s the inspiration for the “milkaholic.”

It’s a laughable suit, but the company’s answer sets a new bar for fact-based humor. It uses news clips, video transcripts and online comments that describe Lohan’s public image.According to the NY Post:

Lohan is “a pot-stirring, lazy, irresponsible, disrespectful little

drama queen,” the papers — filed in Nassau County Supreme Court —

quote one on-line commenter as saying.

“Why does anyone want to

know what this train wreck is doing?” another adds. “She is the classic

child star. A little success (parents pushed her into the business) at a

young age and then she thinks she’s the poo.”

“How can she pay

her rent and pay for her coke?” yet another writes. “That sugarcane

she’s sniffin’ doesn’t come cheap . . . ”

The company says it’s just trying to show the Lohan is a Californian, claiming the ad’s characters are based in Long Island. Lohan’s attorneys say the hundreds of pages of filings prove their point — the company is out to defame her.