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Old Friends and Birth Stories

These are my daughters with their best friend Meg, who is my best friend Hyacinth’s daughter. I’ve talked about this before, but Marlboro Man’s parents and Hyacinth’s husband’s parents were best friends, too. And their parents were also friends before that. They partied together back when our town was bustling and hoppin’ and happenin’. I think they’d get a kick out of the fact that the friendships have lasted such a long time.

So we go way back, is what I’m saying. And Hyacinth and I marvel how much our kids love one another, even though they really don’t have a sense of the meaning and history and legacy of their friendships. They just love one another.

One of the first times my older daughter got together with Meg, Hyacinth and I decided to drive to the city and take them to a production of Sesame Street Live. I was pregnant with my second child and wasn’t really showing yet, but was wearing boot cut maternity jeans from my first pregnancy, and they kept falling down. I remember taking Meg and Alex down an aisle of stairs to meet Big Bird and shake his hand, and because I was holding Meg in one arm and holding my daughter’s hand with the other, I couldn’t keep my jeans from falling down and by the time we got back to our seats, the huge fabric panel of my maternity jeans was totally visible and I had to stand there and hike up my too-big maternity jeans in front of the entire arena of parents. Then I sat down and had to go to the bathroom but I just decided to sit there and suffer.

It was a really special memory.

Here are some things I can tell you about the boys you see here. Once upon a time, Hyacinth already had a boy and a girl and was totally done having children. Then she and her husband went on a pilgrimage to Italy and she got pregnant on that very trip with her son Patrick, shown above in the Nike swoosh shirt. Pat-Man, as I call him, has always been a special soul and when he was two, I walked up to him and said, in an authentic Gollum voice, “MYYYY PREEEECCCCCCCCCCCIOUS.” He began to scream and cry, and he would not go near me for over six months.

Hyacinth was present (along with my husband and my sister) during the birth of my older boy, shown above in the khaki shirt. I had resolved for this birth that I would have the baby without any medication, and I wanted Hyacinth to come coach me through it since she had done it three times at that point. So when the contraptions (I like to call them contraptions because it makes me laugh) started getting stronger, she began to pray the Rosary over me. Then I started moaning and crying and Hyacinth immediately called the nurse and shouted “Get this poor woman an epidural!” But by then it was too late. I had my baby boy without medication and it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. Later, Hyacinth called me because she needed to talk through every detail and so did I, and she informed me that she had taken photos of the birth itself but not to worry, she had stayed above the line of my shoulders.

For the birth of her fourth child, the wee lad holding the basketball, Hyacinth decided to use a midwife and have him at home. I told her she was nutso, but I would be there with bells on. I also told her I would be staying north of her shoulders since she had shown me the same courtesy. I was seven months pregnant that day, and was in Hyacinth’s bedroom for several hours as her labor progressed, then stalled, then progressed, then stalled. I also pushed and pushed and almost gave birth myself, and when her baby was finally born I cried and went and got Hy some ice water. While I was in the kitchen getting the water, I ate a few cookies that someone had brought over. And when I went upstairs with Hy’s water, I said, “Oh, man—someone brought some really delicious cookies!” Then Hyacinth said, “Oooh, can I have one?” And I said, “Nope—ate the last one. Sorry.”

When I had my baby three weeks later, he was premature. I’ve written about that crazy night before, but to make a long story short: I had to have an emergency c-section because I had a placental abruption. In layman’s terms, my placenta done give out on me. We really didn’t call anyone through the night except for those who really needed to know, so the next morning around 6:00, after all was relatively calm, I asked Marlboro Man to call Hyacinth and tell her what had gone down. So he dialed the number while I tried to un-grog myself.

I looked at Marlboro Man with a puzzled expression. Neither Hyacinth nor John had any idea I’d gone into labor. They had no idea I’d had an emergency c-section. They had no idea I wasn’t sleeping peacefully in my bed at home, very large and pregnant, emphasis on pregnant. Of course, within seconds, the phone of our hospital room rang. It was Hyacinth, frantic and saying things like “WHAT? WHAT? HUH? WHAT?”

But what cracks me up about the whole thing is not just that Marlboro Man had called John and unceremoniously announced that I’d just had my baby five weeks early, but that John received the news in exactly the same way.

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Comments

Wow, I have never been here this quick after a posting. Friends are great to have and share with. Thanks for posting Ree, looking forward to watching your show when I get time.

http://www.knackeredgrouse.com Barbara

Actually, I just wanted to “like” that comment…

Payton

What a blessing to have such loyal, lifelong friends! I love reading your blog- it’s so encouraging.

Marie

I can empathize with Hyacinth. One boy and girl, we planned on the family being complete then we had two younger boys. We ended up with two separate families since there is 10 years between the older set and the younger set.

http://www.maidservantsofchrist.com Melissa

I LOVE baby stories of all varieties! Thanks for sharing! You are a braver woman than me. I had three babies without medication, but the ONLY person I wanted was my husband.

Liza

Lovely pictures, they certainly tell a story!

Anne with the Plan

OMG is that just like my own husband. Never asks the right questions, and get irritated when I quiz him on a phone call, or whatever information he’s gotten from someone else. 🙂 Good thing I DO love him. 🙂

Kelly

Makes me think of my best friend she has 4 children, i brought her roses after all her kids were born-her husband did not. But in his defense he shoveled the driveway every 2 hours during the night when we got the blizzard of the decade when she was due with her twins. and now she and her kids watch my 2 year old. Makes my heart warm!!!

Michelle

This is my first time ever responding to one of your posts! I have followed you for a long time and feel we have much in common. I was born in Oklahoma and spent my summers there when I was younger. I live in Washington State where I have been most of my life. Love reading your stories like this. Brings me back to the births of my 5 children. My youngest is now 5 and getting ready to start kindergarten this year. Makes me sad to think that I won’t get to experience the wonder of birth anymore. Guess there’s always grandkids! Sorry for writing a book here, just wanted to “chat” with you for awhile. Have a great summer!!

http://www.firewifekatie.blogspot.com Fire Wife Katie

Lol, so typically casual of your husbands. I have a feeling there would be more details in his conversation had he been the one abrupting placentas and giving birth too early!

http://www.garagevacuums.net Travis Cotton

From a man’s perspective….

We dont like being on the phone generally. Say what you have to say and get to the point. We can shoot the s%&t in person. Facts, straight forward and hang up. I dont need to know what the curtains in the room looked like….

Generational friends. How marvelous! Yesterday I was at a first birthday party watching a yard full of kids ages 1 through 12 playing in a small pool. These kids are the third generation of our friends group. My husband and I came to this town on our own and became friends with two other families also new to the area and on their own. That was 30 years ago. Even though by this time we all have other friends and family here, we are still close, our kids are close friends and now our grandkids are BFFs. However, I will note that no one has attended anyone else’s birthing. 🙂

Lauren C

Well said Melinda. Very well said.

Kara S.

I loved this post… thanks for sharing.

Jennifer C

This post was great! I am weeks away from giving birth to my second child and I have told my husband to keep his phone by him at all times. He was completely confused why he had to go on call so early. He seems to think that when the doctor gives you a date, the baby listens.

Lori O. from MI

Ree, I love your site and I watched both the ‘burning down the barn’ cooking show and the bedroom by novagratz shows this weekend! Loved them both. I also love these pics. I’m a people-picture-taker too! 🙂 Keep it up, you make alot of people’s days brighter!

Tulip

Gasp! Your older son’s top shirt button is OPEN! Has he changed his mind or was he overruled?

http://www.whatnowandwhy.com Arnebya

It is the beauty of friendship that gets us through the worst and best times. The love of your families for so many generations is warming.

http://thepioneerwoman.com Karen B.

I was in a bible study led by an older woman. She started out every new book or topic with a reminder that there will be no birth stories here! It happened nearly every time anyway. 🙂

aTXtumbleweed

Men!! I bet they wouldn’t shut up if they had just gone through all that pain!! When my hubby has a hang nail I hear about it for days!!

http://ministrytomotherhood.com Becky @ From Ministry to Motherhood

What a lovely post. It made me think of my friend who happened to find a way to break through the security at the hospital when our son was in the NICU to get a call through. No one else could manage it. I still don’t know how she did it.

Thanks for the beautiful words and for reminding me of how important friends are.