Day-trippers to Blackpool were yesterday still laughing out loud after recounting the hilarious sight of a family of four obese visitors from Glasgow desperately shuffling in vain to board a tram bound for the Pleasure Beach from outside the North Pier.

Holiday makers watched aghast as the overweight quartet frantically began to "fat man jog" (a combination of walking while waving ones hands manically in the air, pausing for breath, with hands on hip, then walking again) towards a stationary tram screaming "hang on, wait for us you Sassanach bastard!"

"It was simply delightful" said Brenda Grimson of Warrington "the mother was desperately hanging on to her bag of chips with one hand and her can of Tennants Extra Strength Lager in the other, she was huffing and puffing like a bull on heat and sweating like a complete twat."

Another witness commented "they were all wearing Celtic shirts and it was obvious that the tram driver was oblivious to their screams of 'wait a fooking minute ya cunt'...what I didn't understand though was the eldest daughter stopping to light up a cigarette before she carried on waddling towards the tram stop. It was blooming funny."

After failing to reach the tram before it departed the lardy group collapsed in a heap before being informed by a watching ice cream seller that they were actually "running" in the wrong direction and that the tram they had failed to catch was actually headed to Fleetwood and Southbound trams ran on the adjacent track.

"It was priceless to see their ruddy pig like faces watch in horror as a Southbound tram departed from the other track moments after they realized they were on the wrong side" chuckled Stan Tipps, a factory worker from Slough "it really made my day."