the ordinary before the extraordinary

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Homesickness

Grief is one of those things that I think never actually goes away, and I’m learning that this is a good thing.

When I was in high-school there were several things that happened around me that caused long-lasting grief. I don’t need to go into the details here, but what I wanted to share is that sometimes, often, even, I remember and feel the weight of grief come over me once again. Sometimes I’m just sad. It’s been long enough that it doesn’t feel like a debilitating weight, and there are tears only when I remember of the hurt of others who were more profoundly impacted and are still impacted daily by what happened. For me there’s always been something familiar about the feeling of grief, and something good. Not that the feeling itself is a good feeling, but rather that the feeling of grief is right and appropriate in a deep, deep way.

I realized today the reason for the familiarity of grief, and that led me to dwell of the goodness of it. Grief is akin to homesickness. We long for something that is not with us, something that has passed by and is unattainable. The weight can be crushing because it is inescapable. No matter how hard we try, we can’t go back home. Home – where we feel at ease with those we love, content with the knowledge that all is right in our little world. Grief is living in the knowledge that all is not right in our world. Those we love are not with us. And more than that, they can’t be with us, and won’t be with us on this earth ever. again. And so we are homesick for that pleasant feeling of rightness that cannot be obtained.

This is right. And it is good. We were not meant to live without the most important things. We were not meant to live with death, and loss, sadness. We are eternal souls, and death and ending does not sit well with us. We were meant for heaven, for life, beauty, and goodness. This is a good discord to feel, and one that drives us to seek Jesus – in whose presence there is fullness of joy, and who is even today preparing a place for us. A home.

So let’s grieve, and long, and be homesick for heaven, our eternal dwelling place with Christ, our joy. Our home, where we will forever be at ease with our family, loved of God, and all will be right in the world, forever, and ever, and ever. Maranatha!