11. President Kennedy’s death: A poison arrow-assisted homicide.
“The convergence of three independent actions, or the signature traits of a neurotoxin-assisted homicide- the emergence of neurological signs consistent with a neurotoxin-induced paralysis, the induction of a small neck wound consistent with a flechette-transported neurotoxin entry wound, and the execution of a coverup to eliminate neurotoxin evidence, supports this hypothesis.”

9. Finally, a male contraceptive: behold the ball cozy!
“Every 2 weeks, a physician at the Faculty of Medicine at Cairo University in Egypt examined 14 32-47 year old male volunteers wearing a polyester scrotal sling day and night for 12 months to determine if polyester fabrics can act as a contraceptive in men. They changed the sling only when it became dirty.”

8. Bad news: you have a tumor. Good news: it’s really cute!
“A 46-year-old woman had an excisional breast biopsy that revealed nonproliferative fibrocystic changes as the only histopathologic abnormality. Although it was not Easter at the time of diagnosis, an Easter bunny was found hiding in one of the dilated ducts, which also contained amorphous eosinophilic secretions.”

4. Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?
“Anatomically, one or the other half of the scrotal sac hangs at a lower level than the other. The testes, housed within the sacs are also situated, suspended, one slightly lower than its other counterpart. While many theories on why and how of the testicular levels have been proposed, including those engendered by vascular, functional, embryological or evolutionary influences, none of the proposed scientific reasons are totally convincing.”

3. My love for you has many layers, like the onion…that I put in your va-jay-jay.
“On being informed that she had no cancer, but rather an onion, the patient shewed no signs of pleasure or of gratitude on being so quickly cured of her complaint and relieved of her anxiety. Instead she exhibited signs of anger, the reason for which was the same as had caused the presence of this unexpected vegetable in such an unusual garden.”

1. That’s one miraculous conception.
“The patient was a 15-year-old girl employed in a local bar. She was admitted to hospital after a knife fight involving her, a former lover and a new boyfriend. Who stabbed whom was not quite clear but all three participants in the small war were admitted with knife injuries.”

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