Category Archives: Balancing Empath Thought

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about addictions. We were discussing the fact there are so many addictions that we are not aware of, or how they impact our lives.

When we think of addictions, we often just think about the ones related to drugs or alcohol, but there are countless more.

We get addicted to wheat, sugar, certain chemicals in foods, caffeine, sports, social media… But the addictions that are quietly destructive to our health and happiness are our addictions to negativity.

The media knows that people have a natural draw towards negativity, because of our negativity bias. They play on this, to keep us coming back to their sites.

I often write about the importance of Empaths avoiding media outlets because of the strife it stirs up, and because it creates negative emotions.

Negative emotions give the body a rush of hormones that become addictive. That’s why so many people become hooked on having traumas and problems in their lives. These traumas fuel the brain with a hit of some of its favourite drugs: the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline.

We read a lot about becoming addicted to dopamine, but we don’t see much about addictions to the stress hormones. But they are equally as damaging.

When the brain or body is addicted to certain stress hormones, it is much harder to recognize than with other addictions. But if not addressed, this dependence becomes the pathway to an unhappy life.

Although I have known many who have a penchant for negativity, there was one particular person I knew, who was heavily addicted (and probably still is). I will call her Shirley.

Shirley would create reasons to be angry and dissatisfied with her life, including anyone in it. She had a very one-tracked mind and would not allow herself to see anything but negativity in a situation. She pushed many people away because of her dark ramblings. Not intentionally though. Anyone who spent time with her, found themselves being dragged into wrathful discussions which would leave them feeling flat and depressed.

She blamed everyone else for her life not being the way she wanted. Shirley expected others to change for her, but not to make any changes for herself. Because she secretly thrived on negativity, she continued to draw into her life more reasons to be negative (law of attraction).

Shirley allowed negativity to make her bitter and vengeful. But that wasn’t who she was deep down. She had a kind side that got squeezed out by the darkness she allowed to grow within.

Her desire for drama was fuelled by her body/brain’s need for stress hormones. Her negativity addiction did so much damage to her life. She refused to address it or see it as being problematic, because she secretly thrived on it. Negativity became her purpose. It was an addiction that she became afraid to live without.

I’m sure every one of you reading this has come across a ‘Shirley’ in your life.

I’m not for a moment suggesting that an Empath is destined to become like Shirley. I wanted to show an extreme example of negativity addiction. However, Empaths are at risk of becoming hooked on the stress hormones stirred up by negativity.

The reason you may not consciously be aware that you are addicted to stress hormones, is because they are activated without you necessarily taking part. And what I mean by this is, the brain will be doing the work.

Once addicted, your brain will work to activate your body into releasing stress hormones by drawing your attention to anything that it knows will make you react.

Picking up and feeling other people’s stress or emotions is also a way your hormones can be triggered. Another is having had experienced trauma in childhood (the memories continue to activate stress hormones throughout life).

A negativity addiction can be at work without you even leaving your home or coming into contact with others. When not around people, stress hormones are activated mostly through the thought process.

After giving up many addictive things, I know exactly how tricky addictions are, especially with the brain. It is not until we give something up for a period of time that we see just how our choices and thoughts were governed by addiction.

With any addiction, we have to see it for ourselves.

If you suspect you have an addiction to negativity, and are therefore drawing more negativity into your life (like attracts like), you have to stay vigilant of knowing when your hormones are being spiked. You normally recognise this by the discomfort around the gut or chest area. It may feel like a burning sensation or a sense of dread.

As soon as you feel this, act immediately with a distraction so that your thoughts don’t get involved. Thoughts feed emotions. Emotions feed thoughts. Emotions are fuel for your stress hormones. You have a seventeen second window before thoughts take over and you become hostage within your own head. This post may help with distraction.

So, yes, Empaths are prone to having negativity addictions and this is because we tend to feel everything so powerfully. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Often when we become aware of a problem within, it is half way to overcoming it.

I hope this post finds you well. It’s been a couple of months since my last blog offering. I’ve been super-busy writing, researching and editing my next book. But, I’ve wanted to address this subject for a while, about something you may yourself have noticed… an Empath awakening.

You’ve probably observed the wave of Empaths who have awakened to who they are in recent years. More and more are coming to understand that many of the challenges, they have faced throughout life, have come about because they are an Empath.

Continuing on from my last post, where I discussed how being in jobs that do not feel like a fit can lead to depression, as can feeling directionless or out of control in one’s life. Today, I want to further address the subject of power imbalances within an Empath and the need to control what we feel.

As Empaths, many of our emotional sensations are amplified. We react to criticism or reprimands much more than most. However, when out of balance, we become incredibly oversensitive to everyday life situations and get hurt easier than most. Because of this, we may suffer with depression and are more open to attract depressive moods from others (like attracts like).

In my post: Why do Empaths have Such a Strong Sense of Belonging, I made reference to Empaths knowing when something is wrong in their surroundings, even if they don’t know exactly what it is. The fact that so few people have control over their lives makes for a lot of unhappy people. Empaths pick up on the collective sense of dissatisfaction in the populace, whether they are aware of it or not, which can greatly affect their own moods. This can then trap them in negative thinking and thus feelings.

As Empaths, we get down when it seems like we have no control of the way we feel. Which is understandable. Getting bombarded with the emotional energy of others (on top of our own emotions) is no fun, and it can certainly influence the way we operate.

What we pick up from others can shape our life, especially when we are not aware the emotional energy we are experiencing does not belong to us. (If you struggle with defining the emotional energy of others read this.)

But other people’s energy is not the only thing that can lead to emotional instability and a sense of ‘no life-control’. Continue reading →

Are you one of the many Empaths who struggles to stay in control of how you feel?

You are not alone. The stresses of ‘Empath life’ certainly takes its toll on the emotional and physical wellbeing of many Empaths.

But did you know that just by drinking more water you can become healthier, both emotionally and physically?

Sound too good to be true…? Read on…

The body consists of up to 75% water (some body tissue has 95%), so it will come as no surprise that we need to drink lots of water to stay in balance physically and mentally.

When out-of-sorts, we can turn to water as a quick pick-me-up. Not only will it help keep the body functioning properly but it also helps in dealing with Empath overwhelm and emotional energy.

Most are unaware just how dehydrated they are, because they regularly drink fluids throughout the day. But as the body uses so much water, just to function, it is quickly being used and in constant need of replenishment.

Breathing alone loses a quarter of the body’s water, on a daily basis, and that’s without any physical exertion.

Dehydration affects well-being, appearance and accelerates the aging process. Being well-hydrated is essential to keep the body functioning and the energy levels stable.

We could not survive more than a few days without fluid and this should make it clear how important it is.

But not only does an insufficient supply of water create problems with the functioning of the body and mind, it can also influence how an Empath experiences the energy of others.

Because they are often on overload, from experiencing too much emotional energy, the Empath’s filtering system does not always work as efficiently as it could; meaning toxins stay in the body longer than they should. Which can play havoc with their emotions.Continue reading →

Have you tried all types of grounding or protective techniques, as an Empath, and find nothing works? Or have you found you are more negatively affected when spending time around certain people than you ever have been?

Have you considered the possibility that you may be suffering with leaky aura syndrome?

Most Empaths come to realize they have a leaky aura when they experience near-constant exhaustion, after spending little time around people. The grounding and protection techniques, they try, don’t make any difference to how they feel or experience the emotional energy of others. They may have even become so sensitive that they struggle to enjoy life.

Anyone whose auric field is congested, particularly with negative energy, may eventually develop auric permeability. But it is not just negative energy that causes the problem. In fact, when a person’s aura is permeable the problem often originated within the body. The biggest contributors are excessive stress, emotional pain, poor lifestyle choices, bad people, toxic environments and food.

After a lifetime of being Sensitive, and the challenges that go with it, the Empath’s body becomes less resilient (especially evident after the age of thirty). A weakened body weakens the energy field and is a major contributor to leaky aura.

The auric field is affected by your thoughts, feelings, actions and words. And because of the law of attraction, depending on the way you think and feel will determine what you draw into your life.

If as an Empath, you have leaky aura syndrome, and are unaware of it, you have little control over what you attract. You will struggle to protect yourself from the low-level vibrations in your environment; they seep into your energy field even when you work to stop them. You then vibrate at this same frequency, drawing in more of the same. Continue reading →

Staying grounded is essential for keeping an Empath… well… grounded. I was reminded of the incredible benefits grounding has on keeping us balanced and happy, after enjoying a two-week break in the Caribbean.

At the start of the holiday, I thought the best part would be basking in the sunshine whilst binge-reading book after book, but there was more…

When I travel, I often let my daily exercise regime slide. But, on this holiday, I was determined to work-out every day. On our first morning, my husband and I turned up at the hotel’s gym for our pre-breakfast work-out. However, we found the gym to be small, stuffy and super-busy, with no floor-space to do stretches or yoga. We spent more time waiting for the machines than we did working-out. The cramped conditions, however, turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise.

The following morning, I suggested we work-out on the beach instead. Being a big fan of the treadmill and weights, my husband wasn’t keen on the idea, but decided to try it because of the busyness of the gym.

We did a mix of exercises whilst wearing training shoes, but when it came to yoga and stretches, it was time to go barefoot. As soon as I kicked off my shoes and grounded my toes into the sand, I felt an incredible calming yet powerful energy surge through me. In an instant, I remembered the familiar calm that comes with connecting to the Earth. The sensation was also aided by gazing out over the beautiful sea and seeing the palm trees swaying idly on the light salty breeze.

The Earth’s powerful healing energy, I now realize, is something I take for granted or forget about, especially whilst my feet are swathed in socks and sturdy shoes.

Grounding with the earth is also known as Earthing, and is a quick powerful way to harness the Earth’s power.

Earthing has gone from being a somewhat ‘woo-woo’ New Age trend to being a well-researched practice, with a number of proven health benefits.

From the perspective of being an Empath, I have found Earthing has the following positive benefits:

Calms the mind. Its grounding effect pulls us down from our heads and reduces repetitive thoughts.

Charges us with vibrant energy and positive feelings.

Contributes to building a more resilient energy field, which helps repel other people’s energy.

Helps balance the chakras.

Calms the emotions.

The Science Bit

Studies show the Earth’s negative charge can help stabilize internal bioelectrical functions, which helps prevent disease and offers pain relief.

We are electrical beings. Our bodies produce positive charges, which are harmful in excess. The Earth’s abundant free electrons produce a negative charge which works in being counteractive.

According to scientific theory, when Earthing, we absorb an abundance of negatively charged electrons which prove to have an immediate physiological impact. The electrons have the effect of being anti-inflammatory, antioxidative, and beneficial to regulating to the body’s circadian rhythms.

An article published in ‘The Journal of Environmental and Public Health’ stated the many benefits of Earthing, their research showed the following were improved:

Sleep

PMS

Immune system activity and response

Hypertension

Chronic muscular and joint pain

Asthma

Energy levels

Stress

Arthritis

Osteoporosis

Researchers believe the health benefits are derived from Earthing’s anti-inflammatory effect. By the premise that wherever there is illness there is also inflammation: reducing inflammation will reduce disease.

As long as we have a skin on earth connection, by walking, standing, sitting or lying on the ground (grass, earth or beach), it reconnects us with the Earth’s powerful energy. Easy to do in the summer, not so much in the cold and wet winter months.

If you find Earthing beneficial but cannot get outdoors during the winter, a grounding pad, which harnesses the benefits of Earth’s electrons, can be used.

If nothing else, Earthing will make you feel alive and refreshed and is great for staying ‘grounded’.

Empaths have a strong sense of integrity and they know a lie when they feel it. They also know they shouldn’t lie for personal gain or to manipulate others. Their goal in life may be to live in complete authenticity, but find it difficult to do in a world where dishonesty and corruption are more readily accepted than the truth.

We live in a time where silver-tongued fraudsters are rewarded, and those who speak their truth often get attacked. And because of this, many are afraid of showing who they are or what they believe in.

While the world is filled with deceit and disinformation, something will always feel off to an Empath. But it’s not just living under a corrupt establishment that creates a sense of unease, simply being in the presence of inauthenticity throws the Empath into disarray.

When in the company of those whose words don’t match their vibration, the Empath’s brain tends to scramble. So much so, they may struggle to form a coherent sentence. This mind-numbing effect is caused by the ‘Empathic antenna’ sensing all is not what it seems. It is detecting a person is not showing a true reflection of who they are.

In most cases, when someone creates a fake persona, it is a way to hide a side they believe will be rejected. Every human wants to feel special and loved. And if someone feels unworthy, they may create a ‘face’ they hope will be accepted.

But inauthenticity breeds and feeds. And an initial quest to ‘fit in’ can escalate, over time, into a darker manipulative personality.

When an Empath encounters inauthentic people they may, initially, assume it is their own insecurities creating the ‘freeze effect’. When it is really a brain scramble caused by the contradictory energy they pick up.

Brain scramble can cause: confusion, stumbling over words, nervousness, and anxiety. It can also cause a stall in the memory, where names, places and events get temporarily erased from the mind Continue reading →

This morning I was happy to find a newsletter from the renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Judith Orloff, in my inbox. The newsletter stated she had recently gone gluten and sugar free and she now recommends this way of eating to other Empaths.

I was excited by the fact the word is clearly spreading about the importance of addressing the diet to find complete balance, and health and happiness as an Empath.

I have written about the benefits of changing the diet for some years now, after seeing the changes in myself when I removed certain foods from my life. Not only in my health but in my Empath ways.

Certain foods can play havoc with Empath traits. But by making small changes to the diet it can transform our life in the most amazing way.

The more of us who discover the effect food has on our happiness and health, not just as an Empath but as a human, the more who can then spread the word.

The book is written for an Empath by an Empath. I explain how my traits had been impacted, by what I was eating, and the changes I made.

Here’s a snippet of what the book entails:

Why the wrong diet leaves the Empath life-weary, energetically open and overly receptive to the negative emotions of others.

What you don’t know about wheat. How it has been genetically altered and why this has affected our health and Empath traits.

The destructive effect wheat and sugar has on the Sensitive person’s brain and the reason they are both hidden in most processed foods.

Why Empaths and HSPs are hardwired into becoming addicted to drug-like foods and how this can be corrected.

How strong emotions, coupled with poor diet, damage the gut and trigger anything from anxiety and excessive introversion to lower back pain and stomach disorders, and the approaches to rectify the damage.

Ways to soothe the seat of emotions through nutrition.

An easy-to-follow eating plan that will get you off wheat and sugar for good, reshape your life and lead to a more blissful existence.

As well as a 4-week elimination plan, the book includes at least 90 mouth-watering, easy-to-follow recipes to make the food transition a comfortable and effortless one.

After much trial and error in the kitchen over the years (and mess), I have amassed a wide selection of gluten and sugar-free recipes and have included many of them in the book.

The path of the Empath is already challenging enough; we should not be taken down by what we eat.

We all want to find balance and peace, but that will not happen without a change in our eating habits.

The wrong diet affects our spiritual awareness and prevents intuition from developing. It also heightens the impact of other people’s energy and emotions, and hinders one’s ability to find inner calm, happiness and health

Until we make necessary changes to the diet, we don’t get to see how foods, like wheat and sugar, have been unnecessarily bringing us down emotionally and affecting our health.

My life has transformed since changing my diet and I know yours can too.

If you are interested and ready to change your diet and change your life, whilst losing some weight in the process, this book is for you!

Continuing from my last post, today I want to discuss how a person’s residual energy can trigger an Empath.

Residual energy is a trail left by a person’s moods and emotions. It can also be created when a conflict has occurred in a certain place.

How does dark residual energy affect an Empath..?

Well, when left by a person, it can seep into their energy field and influence their thoughts and moods for days after being picked up. Which is obviously a problem if it is negative.

When filled with negative emotions, anyone and everyone can leave a trail of dark lingering energy. But those who affect the Empaths in the most painful ways are the people who act as Emotional Trauma Triggers (ETTs).

A trauma trigger is an event from the past that can trigger a reaction, such as anxiety or fear, in the present. But even residual energy, left by someone who caused you emotional pain in the past ( or those who carry the same energy signature), can become an emotional trauma trigger.

How do you know if someone is an emotional trauma trigger?

Generally, the mere mention of an ETT’s name is enough to ignite an unpleasant emotional response. But the worst reaction happens when you have spent time with them and their residual energy has seeped into your aura.

You have probably heard of the expression “residual energy.” It is a term all Empaths become familiar with. It is often used when describing the energy remnants left in objects, places or buildings by the people who have gone before.

When a traumatic event has happened in an area, it leaves a powerful imprint which Empaths can pick up on. The same can be said if there has been a lot of anger, hate or erratic emotions within a particular place.

Certain rooms in most houses contain a host of different vibes and residual energy. Bedrooms, where confused, angry or moody teens grew up, can acquire a dense energy stain. Living-rooms, where families relax and come together, often have a laid back vibe.

Like many other Empaths, I have always sensed residual energy within buildings and locations. But I did not always know what it was I sensed. If I felt a dense energetic imprint, when I was younger, in the places I visited, I immediately assumed the space was haunted. The denser and darker the energy, the more I convinced myself a spooky spectre was lurking within the shadows (I had a big fear of ghosts in childhood). The stronger the energy the more it felt like a presence.

But dark residual energy can indeed feel like a malevolent presence to an Empath. It certainly took me a while to distinguish between the stain left by painful emotions and that of other phenomena. Just like defining the emotional energy in others, it can be a challenge for an Empath to interpret residual energy.

Most used buildings contain a layer of residual energy — both positive and negative. Empaths pick up on these vibes rather like first impressions. We notice them at first but don’t always continue to if we visit a place often.

When a house is filled with love and happiness it can feel like the sun is shining indoors. However, when a home has been layered with deep anguish it often feels stormy and cold. These energetic imprints can last for years after they have formed and greatly affect the ambience of a place.

How to tell the difference between your own emotions and those which don’t belong to you.

Within ‘7 Secrets of the Sensitive – Harness the Empath’s Hidden Power’ I help you understand why you experience what you do. I show what simple steps you can take to revolutionize your life, take back your power and live the life for which you were destined. As an Empath you deserve an incredible happy life!

If you do happen do purchase a copy I would just like to say a huge thank you and I look forward to it helping transform your Empath life!

Every Empath experiences overwhelm at some point, it is one of the most challenging aspects of being Sensitive.

The overwhelm endured, from taking on too much emotional energy from others can, at times, be unbearable. It is often caused by being “peopled”. But being around crowded places or overly negative people is not the only way an Empath becomes overwhelmed.

When someone has caused them hurt, by their words or actions, or if they have had negative thoughts directed towards them, it often throws the Empath off-balance, sending them nose-diving into overload. And that is not to mention what they suffer from being in the firing line of another’s low-mood.

The more out of alignment the Empath (feeling run down, emotionally low, having unbalanced chakras and hormones, etc.) the worst they are affected by overwhelm and the longer it tends to last.

Empath overwhelm affects everyone differently, some much worse than others, at different stages of life. It can lead to lethargy, apathy and mood swings, it can trigger thoughts that keep you awake at night, and dark emotions that flatten you.

The best way to combat the impact of overwhelm is to take action as soon as you become aware of it.

The following techniques work quickly to stop Empath overwhelm in its tracks:

1. Eat a small amount of chocolate:

I say small amount because large amounts have the opposite effect (I discovered this the delicious way, by devouring too much).

Chocolate can transform and uplift your mood in an instant. Containing compounds which promote happiness, chocolate is the go-to food when you have been emotionally or energetically triggered.

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter produced by eating chocolate, known as the happy hormone. This hormone not only activates your bliss centers but it also helps prevent you from dipping into dark thoughts.

In my opinion, milk chocolate tends to work better than dark (as dark chocolate has a higher amount of caffeine). But the type you choose is something you can experiment with yourself.

Most chocolate contains refined sugar which is a big cause of depression, and inflammation, not just in Empaths but all humans. So keep chocolate just for the times when you’ve been hit by emotional overload.

Eat between 2 to 4 small squares of chocolate, washed down with a pint of cool water. The water speeds up the healing and re-balancing process.

2. Temple hold:

Place two to three fingers on either side of the temples (between the eyebrows and hairline)and hold for as long as needed.

This simple technique helps break the repetitive thoughts that are triggered from emotional pain and overwhelm.

I’m not sure why this method works but it does. (I suspect it is because it activates acupressure points and soothes the parts of the brain responsible for emotions.) It makes one feel safe and helps contain any excess ‘head energy’.

Great to do at bedtime, when emotional overwhelm turns into rampant thoughts that keep you awake. Taking some calming, conscious breaths at the same time further helps.

3. Short burst of high intensity exercise:

A mini power-walk or run, dynamic yoga moves, dance routines or skipping, etc. helps burn off raging or uncomfortable emotions. I’m talking very doable bursts of exercise that last between 1 to 5 minutes.

Performing short bursts of high intensity exercise releases endorphins into the body, which block the pain transmission signals and produce euphoric feelings that calm the entire system.

A great exercise I use, when I have been emotionally fired-up, is the plank.

Most will have heard of the plank; it is a challenging yoga move that activates all the muscles in the body. Maintaining it for just 30 seconds is often all it takes to blast out any overwhelm or negative energy.

There is a variation of the plank to do whatever your fitness level, from beginners and beyond. You will find plenty of excellent instructional videos on YouTube to get you started.

Whatever exercise you choose, as your mini blast, make sure to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable and your muscles burn. (The saying ‘fight fire with fire’ springs to mind here).

4. Singing:

This may not be something you want to do when feeling low, but it is excellent for lifting the moods.

Sound affects you on many levels and singing raises your vibration and can stop emotional overwhelm in its tracks.

Anyone can sing, hum or chant, even whistling works. Just make sure the song you choose is uplifting and not one that stokes up painful emotional memories. Try it and see.

5. Avoid caffeine:

Being a stimulant, caffeine will heighten any emotional overwhelm you are experiencing. You don’t always realize how caffeine worsens your emotions because the effects kick in 30 to 40 minutes after consumption. It can make you anxious and jittery, and negative emotions are amplified. Not having caffeine will not always prevent emotional overload, but it significantly reduces the symptoms and the way it affects you.