Monday, June 30, 2014

It’s that time again, that time when my kids are away at
sleep away camp for a month and everyone wants to know what I’m doing with all
of my “free time.”

“Are you going away?”: No, I’m not. Aside from the fact that
I’m still not comfortable traveling when my kids are gone—they might escape
camp and get eaten by bears, you know—we really look forward to not having
plans, or at least too many plans, while they’re gone. The entire rest of the
year is filled with their activities, our activities and it’s nice to have a
break from all of the coordination required to make our lives run smoothly.
Besides, when I travel without them, I spend most of my time thinking how much
they’d enjoy wherever we are, so I’d rather wait and travel with them.

“You must have tons of time to write!”: You’d think so,
wouldn’t you? But really, I have so many projects that I’ve got to work on
while they’re gone, I don’t see a whole lot of writing getting done. Certainly
not as much as I’d like, although probably more than when they’re around.

“Is the house really quiet?”: No more so than usual, when
they’re at school. The quiet lasts a few hours longer, but I like quiet. It
lets me think and recharge. Too much noise gets me crazy.

So, what am I doing? In between checking the camp website
for photos (refresh, refresh, REFRESH!) and staring at the mailbox waiting for
letters, I get to tackle my to-do list:

Fundraising: I’m helping to run a fundraiser for my temple
in November, and there is a lot of administrative work that needs to be
completed this summer. So most mornings, I’m at my computer creating catchy
titles and writing descriptions for items we’re auctioning off. It’s writing,
in a sense...

Cleaning: My husband finds meaning in just about everything.
Therefore, we have a lot of stuff and our basement storage area is filled. I
mentioned a few months ago that I had seen some houses that looked pretty and
started daydreaming about moving. He turned a sickly shade of green, and
suddenly we started cleaning out the basement. Which was great, until we
stopped. You know that point in cleaning where everything is pulled out and it
looks like a tornado hit? Yeah, that’s my basement.So now we’re spending some time going through
everything and trying to clean out. Hey, at least we’re together...

Cooking: I know, when the kids are away, we’re supposed to
treat ourselves to dinner. And we do. But I really like cooking when half of
the intended recipients don’t go, “Ew, what’s that? I’m not eating it.” So
summer is my chance to try out new recipes or make old favorites that only my
husband and I like. It’s fun when it’s my choice!

Writing: Yes, I am actually writing. I’m trying to make time
each afternoon to get at least a few pages written or edited. I’ve got a
manuscript out to one of my critique partners and I’m waiting to get her
suggestions back. And my next story idea is currently percolating way back in
my brain. As soon as it solidifies, I’ll work on that too.

Fun: Of course I have lots of fun planned with friends—lunches,
BBQs, days of shopping. My schedule, my time!

Here’s hoping you get to enjoy your summer too, however you
choose to spend it.

Monday, June 16, 2014

We live in NJ and for the past week, it has rained. Every
day, ranging from some moisture to world-ending thunder and lightning.
Normally, my friends and I walk more than three miles a day each weekday
morning, but only in good weather. I don’t walk in the rain (or snow or cold or
heat or…). The dog is afraid of water and doesn’t like walking in the rain
either. However, apparently, she missed her friends.

We walk with two other dogs. Dogs that are more than three
times her size, but sufficiently cowed by her that they let her lead the way,
suffer through her random attempts to attack them and generally, let her do
whatever she wants. In return, when other dogs, garbage trucks or landscapers
scare them, she steps in front and growls to protect them. I guess it’s a fair
trade if you’re a dog.

Some days she’s happy to see them and runs up to them. Other
days she actually turns her head to the side and walks right past them. For
some reason, the other two dogs don’t hold that against her either. Must be
nice.

Anyway, we haven’t walked in a week and in dog years, that’s
apparently forever. My husband opened the front door to let my daughter outside
to go the bus and Midnight ran out and wouldn’t come back inside. She ran
between the door and the driveway, making her point clear. The only way he
could get her back inside was to run down the driveway and chase her back into
the house—wish I’d been there to see that.

I was in the shower before an early morning doctor’s
appointment, so I wasn’t walking her this morning. As punishment, she decided
not to eat.

Now, she’s not a food-motivated dog. Sure, she likes her
treats when she returns from being outside, and will try to go outside more
often to get a few more, but if we don’t give them to her, she still goes
outside and she eventually gives up on the treats. When we first adopted her,
she responded much quicker to praise and pets than she ever did to food. And
when we send her to stay with my parents while we go away, she spends the first
two to three days not eating. She doesn’t eat off the floor unless we tell her
she can and if you leave food unattended, it will still be there when you
remember it again, unless my kids (or dad) are around.

So food is not the be all and end all for her. However, she
knows it’s important to us and I think she might be Jewish. She comes running
over every time we sing the Shabbat or holiday prayers, jumps up and likes us
to hold her front paws as we sing. A bit weird, I know, but somehow, very cute.
And if we assume that she’s Jewish, she also knows the power of food for the
rest of us. I come from a family that will forgive you anything, as long as you
provide enough food. Run short, and they’ll sit shiva, never mentioning your name again. Thus, my reasoning for
making enough food for an army.

Midnight has obviously picked up on this. She knows that if I
see her not eating, I’ll change my behavior for her so that she won’t starve.

I just came back from walking the dog. Apparently, I need to
change her name from Midnight to Pavlov. Off to find a human-sized bell.

Monday, June 9, 2014

There’s a picture in my head, a scene that plays over and
over again. It’s my chance to get back at him, to not only win the battle, but
win the war. He loses his cool; I keep mine. His weapons are no match for mine,
my words are more powerful than his sharpest swords. My tongue is more accurate
than his scattered attempts to dominate me.

I win.

But she’s there too, and the emotion that I hide from him
bubbles to the surface. I can’t help her and myself at the same time. I can’t
force her to choose sides and I won’t allow myself to unmask my true feelings
for him in front of her.

I send her away.

He tore us apart once before. Our once entwined lives are on
two separate paths. Our children know nothing of each other. The stories we
tell don’t resonate because there is no shared history.

Without history, how is there a future? Where are the
building blocks that support us, enrich us? Perhaps one day we can build new
connections, retell old stories, introduce our children. But not now and not
for a long time.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

I'm hosting this week's The Writer's Post Blog Hop! The Writer's Post is a Facebook group. You can check it out here. It's a group where writers get together and post examples of their work. They're a great group of talented people.

This week is my turn to create a blog hop. A blog hop is where everyone writes about the same topic and you hop from one blog to the next to read different people's take on the topic.

Today is a gorgeous day. I was just driving through Pennsylvania and the blue sky, white clouds and green farmland took my breath away. It made me want to stop my car, lay in the fields and watch the clouds roll by. Most of my weekends have been filled with a ton of errands, and most of those errands require a lot of driving. I'm looking forward to a more relaxed summer where I can just kick back and relax.

Therefore, this blog hop is going to be about summer. What do you like about it? What does it make you think of? How does it inspire you? What do you remember about summers during your childhood? You can take this anywhere you want, so have fun with it!

Monday, June 2, 2014

As I’m sitting at my computer this morning scanning the news
and waiting for window washers to arrive, I came across an image on the local
CBS website. At first, the only thing I noticed was “Father’s Day,” since in
the back of my mind I’m trying to make sure my kids get their Father’s Day
projects done in time to celebrate with the family.

The next time I see the image, I notice the hip, but assume
I must be mistaken. After all, it’s something for Father’s Day and as I scroll
through sites, it’s very easy for multiple images to blend together.

Finally, I stop to take a look at the image. This is what I
see.

Seriously?

Okay, I get that it’s an ad for a casino. I get that it’s
targeting men. But why is it so stereotypical?

Sure, I know there are men who like that and I’m not
judging. I’m not even going to focus on the objectification of women, or the
sexualization of women as depicted in the ad. What really struck me was how
unfair this ad is to men.

There have been so many articles this past year regarding
why fathers get a bad rap, and how they are automatically thought of as less
than mothers when it comes to raising children. Obviously, the creators of the
ads either haven’t read those articles or don’t care. They assume that since
fathers are men, and “men like sexy women,” this ad works for Father’s Day.

While the “hot chick” might catch their eye, the fathers I
know value their time with their families and use Father’s Day as a chance to
spend more time playing with their kids and honoring their dads. While
attracted to a variety of types of women, I think they’d find the stereotyping
offensive and inappropriate for the holiday. Although several of them like to
gamble, not one of them would think of going there rather than spending time
with their family. And while each one of them is attracted to women and has
their own views on what’s sexy or not, they all, every single one of them,
think their wives, the mothers of their children, are sexy BECAUSE THEY MADE
THEM FATHERS.

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About Me

I'm a mom, wife, strategist, lover of snark, volunteer, shoe- and choco-holic. I write to escape the craziness of life. Sometimes I even write about that craziness! My blogs are usually a bit snarky; my books are contemporary romance. I also write freelance articles for magazines, newspapers, and edit newsletters.