John Wick is the new Taken—the action-movie template that's endlessly riffed on in movie theaters every year, subbing out locales, lead actors, and garish villains for stuff you've seen before and absolutely want more of, since new John Wick movies take a little while to come together. So why not check out Polar, which is John Wick but in the Arctic, with Mads Mikkelsen, Danish lord of our hearts?

The forthcoming Netflix film is straight-up Wick, giving Mikkelsen's retired assassin an absurd alias (he's Duncan Vizla, a.k.a. The Black Kaiser) and making him a former member of a secret club of assassins with a weird rule: If one assassin retires and dies, their nest egg gets redistributed back into the organization. Which is a weird rule! I don't get it! But something happens that makes the retired Vizla the preferred target of his former colleagues, who go too far when they kidnap his quiet neighbor, Vanessa Hudgens, only to realize, too late, that they've made a huge mistake because they're messing with The Black Kaiser.

Honestly, this movie looks like a mess. But you know who doesn't look like a mess? Mads Mikkelsen. Put him in plaid suits (I miss you, Hannibal) or cover him in mud and an outrageous mustache, it doesn't matter. Mads Mikkelsen still looks like a man who will beat you down and then recite, in an instant, the perfect wine pairing for your ass whooping. And it will be perfect.

Anyway, here's the trailer for Polar, which you can stream on Netflix January 25.

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