Krypto #7: He's Lana's Dog

From: Superboy #64 (April 1958)

Warning: As this seems to feature the trophy-hungry version of Superboy, you may end up hating him a lot more than usual. Keep an open mind, there may be a Silver Age twist. Then again, there's too much super-dickery to magically wave it all away.

Our story begins with Krypto returning to Earth as is now usual, while Superboy is accepting an award from the mayor. For generic services rendered, as they say.

Superboy makes sure to gloat about all the other ones he's received, and doesn't notice his dog has returned, his dog who never got a damn award despite sharing many of Superboy's adventures. And there's Clark's trophy case, just so we know he wasn't exaggerating, and Krypto is just useful as an admirer of such things, yadda yadda yadda. SHUT. UP. Superboy. Krypto decides to strike out on his own to get his own awards (Kal-El is such a bad influence), and chooses a new master - or rather mistress - Lana Lang! And after a good game of 20 questions...

...she completely understands his motivation. Quick question: Didn't Clark give her a non-powered white dog in Adventure #214? What happened? Did Dad send it back to the pound, or is Lana, y'know, really BAD at keeping pets? Regardless, Krypto is at least tougher than your normal dog. When he and Lana cross paths with Superboy, they make it plain he's switched sides, and he's soon stealing Superboy's thunder by preventing car accidents before Superboy can, etc. Super-Dick thinks Lana is "sure to misuse his powers", which is sheer calumny, and hatches a crazy Silver Age plan. He gets himself a different dog, Hot Dog the non-powered but willing to be abused dachshund.

See Superboy has been bouncing bullets off his chest for years, but only now does he paint that as a negative. And while he could be catching bullets with his hands, it's far better to put a dog wrapped in foam rubber at risk! Smallville's next spot of trouble is a publicity balloon shaped like a sausage and touting "Try Tom Shaddo's Giant Hot-Dogs!" getting unmoored and falling on a busy street. Krypto blows it away with super-breath, but...

First, somebody needs to tell Superboy that's not how physics work. Second, Super-Shill is getting recognition for half-assed advertising. How much stake do you have in Tom Shaddo's, Superboy? And will people understand that the giant phallic shadow you're casting over Smallville is for that one hot dog place? Next stop, a guy setting a bomb right out from at the completely unguarded police headquarters. To make Krypto screw up here, the writer has the dog's X-Ray vision turn the crystals inside the fake bomb turn into priceless rubies just as the crook intended. Pushing it. In every direction. But here's what Superboy does to stop the guy:

That can't be good for the dog. But it shames Krypto, which was always the goal. The final feat isn't any safer for Hot Dog. A message needs to be delivered to Midvale ASAP, and since Smallville's economy is almost entirely based on Superboy doing all the work for free, he's expected to fly it there. Krypto and Lana intercept it and bring it themselves, except Kal has already put it in a pipe and shot it at the right address ahead of them.

Oh and Hot Dog was in the pipe. Well, if neither Superboy nor the writer are going to play fair, Krypto's just gonna leave Earth for good. Superboy stops him just in time and reveals the final twist: Hot Dog was just borrowed from a pet shop (because lessons) and that last trophy?