Polygamy

Why do people insist on Ekapathi (single husband for a woman) while Ekapathni (single wife for a man) is not emphasised..? Yes, there could be exceptions; still polygyny is prevalent.

Polygyny was permitted in many places at one time. When the population of women was exceeding than that of men (due to war and all), polygyny was permitted, in order to save the female generation from prostitution and poverty.

But now the conditions have changed, we are not living in that dark era. Still the rules haven’t altered. Polygayny is permitted in many countries even now.

They will preach for ‘Ekpathi vratha’ (single husband for a woman) while engaging themselves with many women. They are least bothered on the sentiments of their wives. Even those people who support polygyny will raise their voice against polyandry.

So ultimately they know the ethical aspect behind that. Or at least they are aware of the danger behind that. Or they can’t bear even the thought of sharing their woman.

It is not like, ‘if polygynyy is there, polyandry should also be there’. It is not a matter of seeking liberation for women. Both cases should be controlled, for ensuring a healthy social life.

Okay, I mentioned about the ethical aspect. But I know that, there is no point in speaking such ethics in front of the people supporting this polygamous animalistic behaviour. So all I can state is, you can do that as long as you are not hurting your partner. Or else, why do you want a partner/soul-mate in such a case…all are your partners, no.. ;). And you are just helping the nation to have many more citizens in a short span of time (9 women can give birth to 9 kids in 9 months’ time while one women can have only one kid in the same span ) .. oh ! It’s such an unselfish profit.. …

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The author is a Quality Assurance professional by experience. Part Quantitative data analyst, part consultant for quality and information security practices, part software tester, she is a writer by passion and blogs at http://wordsandnotion.com and http://qualitynotion.com/.

misinterpreting the religious notions, and ego of certain men are the reasons for this cruel practice. should be stopped. Glad that the govt banned tripple talakh this year, hope that more reforms will be made to ensure equality. nice post

exactly…my point was, since now it being a patriarchal society, females dont have much choices. And the situation will be just reversed , even more dangerous if polyandry was promoted.. may be that’s the reason…

I guess one man.. One women too. Life is full of desires, not necessary of fulfilling all your wishes. Relatable to the topic, People are busy proving what women can do, why can’t they see men were made for what women can’t do and women were made for what men can’t do. Gender equality also stands in between. One should see with the eyes of each gender and their perspective.

what i think is, there should not be any such boundary at all. If there is mutual consent, nothing should be taboo, and where there is a breach of trust, everything should be crime. And, i mean that for any gender couple.
Great post, these questions need to be raised and discussed. 🙂

Polygamy or polyandry both are unethical and there should be a rule to stop this practices unless special cases like when people gets divorced or their partners are expired at an early stage of their married life..

It’s because most societies now are male dominated with male Gods. If we look back to the Goddess oriented societies, you would find this very different. Women were revered and took male lovers, they were honored and the wise woman of the villages. They held the key to birth, health, herbs and other secrets. When patriarchy came blundering in, many beautiful things were destroyed.

Akhila I stay in Nairobi, Kenya where polygamy is permitted. I still wonder why do people want so many wives. In this world lot of things men are allowed to do rather than women. It is wrong when they do it. As you have said the point of soul mate will never exists in the case of polygamy, it is like cheating all of them.

Loved it! Women demand equality, not superiority!
“To prevent them from prostitution and poverty”- There are two reasons why women choose to become prostitutes: poverty and men in need! After all these years, did polygamy limit poverty? Did they limit prostitution?

There may possibly be a biological explanation for the prevalence of polygyny over polyandry as well. Specifically, creatures (including humans) instinctively protect and nurture their own offspring. A woman always knows whether a child is hers or not, the man almost always assumes a child is his if married to the woman. That’s always been my outlook, in the three times I’ve been married (please note I am a much better father than husband!).

To project into a situation I’ve never been in, I can assume that if a man is married to multiple women, he would feel compelled to take care of all the children. If, on the other hand, he is one of several husbands, his stake in the matter is much less compelling. The woman would have various benefits from having multiple men around, but devoted child rearing is probably not one of them.

So if you assume that one of the primary motives of a marriage is to provide an environment to raise children, monogamy would be the clear winner, polygyny the next (in cases of mismatches between numbers of men and women), and polyandry a distant third.

I touch on this slightly in my work. The main reason you are taught this is obviously patriarchy, but they have known a secret that they have hidden from the masses. That secret is that the bloodline runs through the female. The ancients knew this and a king or pharaoh could not rule unless he was wed to a women of the royal bloodline. This is why they let the male (king or pharaoh) marry and have several partners, but the queens, for the most part, had the one husband. The bloodline ran through her. The patriarchs enforced this on everyone.

I think these practices still exist in today’s time to actually shadow pervertedness. I am not questioning the beginning of these practices. may be in some places they were logical. But I don’t think the logic applies in today’s time

Just read an article yesterday – Iraq toys with polygamy as a solution for war widows – this makes sense and is the only practical solution to the many women who are left with no husband, no roof above their head, no income and many children in an insecure nation. The heartbreaking story of ‘The Water Wives of Maharashtra’ is another story altogether.
Otherwise, polygamy can only be defined as man’s greed to reign and own more than one woman.

Polygamy or polyandry is fine but just not allowed once the institution of marriage is set.. Coz that’s the whole point when u take oaths of being with one another for rest of your lives, but then since divorces are so rampant these days I think the situation will surely change

Well d two can be related if for a second u look at polygamy without the institution of marriage.. Plus infidelity is one of the most common reasons given for divorces.. It’s all about freedom of choices.. Once u break out of the societal dogma u can achieve that but for time being it seems a distant dream atleast in India

Laura Zabala

May 23, 2017 at 10:39pm

My two cents. If a group of people love each other and respect one another, are engaging in consensual polyamory – then their wish should be respected. If no one is getting hurt and they do well in that situation why restrict them from making it official? Whether it be multiple husbands, wives, or whatever. Of course, this is entirely grounded in my western perspective and I do not presume to understand the cultural motivations behind such arrangements in other places. Mind you, it being consensual, not forced, is the key component in regards to my being okay with it. Otherwise, I think it is no good.

Laura Zabala

May 28, 2017 at 7:41am

Thank you, the fact that you brought up the discussion and various people are weighing in on the matter is great. Having an open dialogue helps with understanding other perspectives. I hope things get better for families dealing with these issues.