Our lack of racial empathy is appalling

By Dean Obeidallah, Special to CNN

Updated 4:16 PM ET, Tue July 16, 2013

Photos: Reaction to Zimmerman verdict27 photos

Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Sybrina Fulton, mother of Trayvon Martin, is joined by her son Jahvaris Fulton as she speaks to the crowd during a rally in New York City, Saturday, July 20. A jury in Florida acquitted Zimmerman of all charges related to the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. View photos of key moments from the trial.

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Photos: Reaction to Zimmerman verdict27 photos

Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Protesters attend a rally in support of Trayvon Martin, in New York on July 20. The Rev. Al Sharpton's National Action Network organized the "'Justice for Trayvon' 100 city vigil" which called supporters to gather in front of federal buildings around the country on July 20, as a continued protest against the George Zimmerman verdict.

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Photos: Reaction to Zimmerman verdict27 photos

Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – The Rev. Al Sharpton speaks to the crowd during the rally in New York City on July 20.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Beyoncé, left, and Jay-Z, center, arrive at the rally in New York City on July 20.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Thousands of people gathered outside the Richard B. Russell Federal Building in downtown Atlanta as part of the network of vigils on July 20.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – A chalk outline, a bag of Skittles, and a can of iced tea are seen during the vigil outside the E. Barrett Prettyman Federal Courthouse in Washington, D.C., on July 20.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Protesters march across the Brooklyn Bridge toward Brooklyn after attending the rally in Manhattan on July 20.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Tracy Martin, father of Trayvon Martin, poses for a photo with supporters wearing hoodies at the rally in Miami on July 20.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Protesters march through the streets of downtown Los Angeles, on Tuesday, July 16, during a demonstration of the George Zimmerman trial.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – The Rev. Al Sharpton calls for a full federal investigation of the Martin killing, saying mere remarks by President Barack Obama and others weren't enough, outside the U.S. Justice Department in Washington on July 16.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – A passenger takes a picture of protesters as he rides a city bus on July 16 in Los Angeles.

Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Leon McCutchin participates in a candlelight vigil for Martin on July 15 in New York City.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – A large group of demonstrators march through downtown Atlanta on July 15 during a protest of the acquittal of George Zimmerman.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Outside the Department of Justice in Washington on July 15, Rev. Anthony Evans, president of the National Black Church Initiative, leads a prayer during a demonstration asking for justice for Trayvon Martin.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Residents of Sanford, Florida, attend a prayer vigil to promote peace and unity in their city in the wake of the George Zimmerman trial on July 15.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – About 500 demonstrators gather during a rally and march in support of Trayvon Martin on July 15 in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – A man argues with a police officer as supporters of Trayvon Martin march while blocking traffic in Union Square in New York on Sunday, July 14.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – A man throws a trashcan during a protest in Oakland, California, on July 14.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – People gather at a rally honoring Trayvon Martin at Union Square in New York on July 14.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Demonstrators march following a rally at the Torch of Freedom in downtown Miami on July 14.

Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – A protester shouts in the streets of New York on July 13.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – A man in Los Angeles wears a shirt in support of Trayvon Martin on July 13.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Tanetta Foster cries in front of the courthouse on July 13 after hearing the verdict.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – A Trayvon Martin supporter rallies outside the courthouse on July 13. After Martin's death, protesters started wearing hoodies in solidarity against racial profiling.

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Reaction to Zimmerman verdict – Demonstrators and members of the media gather outside of the courthouse on July 13. The jurors deliberated for more than 16 hours before delivering their verdict.

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Story highlights

Dean Obeidallah: Zimmerman trial shows that people see issues along racial lines

Obeidallah: We need more racial empathy so that we can reduce tragedies and anger

He says psychology studies show that more empathy can foster conflict resolution

Obeidallah: We can start by trying to see what it would be like to belong to a different race

The George Zimmerman trial has made one thing crystal clear. When racial issues arise, we tend to unquestionably cheer for our own race like it's a sporting match. There's little regard for the arguments or feelings of those from another race.

Is the racial empathy gap in America growing? It seems so. At least judging by the chatter of comments surrounding the trial.

I heard repeatedly the statement from some Zimmerman supporters -- including a radio show host on Monday morning who is far from being a racist -- that "94% of black murder victims were killed by other blacks."

So instead of being empathetic to the Martin family -- whose son Trayvon was killed by Zimmerman -- the words discounted the killing by essentially saying that black people kill each other so much so why should we care about this one black kid?

Dean Obeidallah

It doesn't end there. There were speculations that there will be riots by the black community should Zimmerman be found not guilty.

And when I say we lack racial empathy, I'm not talking about feeling sorry for a race because of their "plight." I mean true empathy -- "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another."

Racial empathy means being able to honestly contemplate what it would be like to be a member of a different race.

Psychologists have noted that this type of empathy fosters conflict resolution. Opening yourself to understanding why the other side believes what it does can help you find common ground.

Of course, this is not easy. It requires you to, at least temporarily, stop self-righteously dismissing competing arguments. You don't have to agree with the opposing views, but you should listen and try to understand them.

But when was the last time you heard leaders of community groups -- regardless of race -- say: "Let's look at from the other side?" I haven't.

A recent important study on racial empathy offers insights on the tangible consequences of our failure to identify with other races. Researchers found that participants believed that black people felt less physical pain when subjected to the same injury as white people because blacks "have faced more hardship."

In other words, the study shows that people are quicker to dismiss the suffering of blacks than of whites because black people have historically suffered more challenges like "higher rates of diseases, disability and premature death." The alarming conclusion is that this leads "to racial bias and potentially disastrous outcomes (e.g., condoning policy brutality against blacks, underestimating and undertreating black patients' pain)."

There's no simple fortune cookie piece of advice out there on how we can become more open and honest. But we can start simple.

How can we increase our racial sympathy? Let's look at issues from the vantage point of another race: Why are they angry? Why are they afraid? What would you feel like if you lived in a community where the crime you see is committed almost exclusively by one race? Conversely, how would you feel if you were repeatedly profiled by the police and society simply because of your skin color?

If we don't get past the knee jerking defensiveness when discussing race, we will likely be burying more Trayvon Martins. Let's try to stop the tragedies before they happen.