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Saturday, 3 May 2014

The pros and cons of oil pulling

I’m not quite sure how the world got
so polarised that oil pulling has already become more or less passé within the online community. Yet whenever I mention it in real-life I get
a ‘Huh??’ Followed, when I explain it, by
a look that rapidly turns into mild suspicion, and finally backing away. Indeed my dentist all but fell about laughing
when I mentioned it, so bang go my hopes of being taken seriously as a human being
there again.

I am still half-convinced that it is an elaborate April Fool’s Day scam, but such is my general teeth paranoia that I’m willing to add most things into my oral hygiene routine. Most people have impressive nightmares about genuinely freaky things. I have recurring nightmares about my teeth falling out. I am that shallow.

So: the oil pulling. Just in case you have been living in a
darkened room over the past few months, the theory is that you take a mouthful
of oil and swish it around your mouth for 20 minutes. This, we are told, ‘absorbs toxins’, and
heroically whitens teeth, freshens breath, and has all manner of general health
benefits. We are now three weeks in this
delightful routine - I say we because my husband will jump onto any health
trend likely to extend his life beyond a century, and practically pushed me out
of the way in his haste to get to the kitchen cupboard. But I can’t honestly say I’m noticing any
difference.

I suppose I should have started this
out more scientifically, perhaps taking before and after photos. But instead I spent the best part of a week worrying
about how best to dispose of said oil. The
internet warned of dire things happening with solidification and drains, and
repeatedly spoke of spitting into ‘the trash can’. The latter concerned me even more since our
bin bags are not known for their durability at the best of times, and I could see
an unpleasant situation arising, which would result in much general household discord. Mind you, it might put the foxes off ... Funnily enough, this issue wasn't really being discussed
online, so I guess most oil pullers are just a more laid-back bunch than me. Or have industrial bin liners. My solution - if anyone is still reading -
was to line a nappy bag with tissue before (excuse me) spitting. Ingenious or what? Although possibly not the best ever news for
landfill.

So, disposal sorted, we moved onto
oil. Apparently you can use most sorts
of oil.However, I can tell you for
nothing that cooking oils have a high gag factor, and that anyone who can endure
a tablespoon of oil for the suggested 20 minutes of swishing is a better woman
than me.In our house we have gone for
the lightweight option of coconut oil, which after cooking oil is mildly tolerable,
but in general terms a poor way to start one’s day. There is one great advantage to oil pulling
though, and this alone has compelled me to share my experiences with the world.And this is that one becomes sadly unable to
engage with children who are under the illusion that hanging in the bathroom
with mummy is a fun morning activity. Faced with the reality that mummy can now only
respond with a series of ‘Mmm’s’, and that any bickering will simply be met
with an inexplicable round of gesturing, they have quickly concluded that more
fun is to be had elsewhere in the house.And there we have it: 20 minutes of (relative) peace. Spoonful of oil, anyone?