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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Jon's Excellent Campout

Jon posted about his experience at the Cindy Sheehan fest in Washington DC here. But being the snarky guy I am, I thought I'd go through Jon's photos and add my own commentary:A pity that the day was cold and wet; I just wish I had been sleeping somewhere else that night. Oh, snap!

It was cold on Monday, and rained Monday night. Joshua, and Robby and maybe someone else, I don't remember, had guard duty for the camp on Monday night. The rest of us were taken to the church.

Ah, pity the souls who had "guard duty". I am sure they came up with some democratic way of giving Joshua and Robby the task.Somebody suggested calling this "Stuck on Stupid," but I snorted and said, "Nobody thinks Cindy is stupid," and everybody agreed.Yes, I am totally checking out the brunette with the coffee cup. I think she's doing the guy with the red and grey sweater, but she obviously doesn't love him. He's got a 'CD VO' armband which tells me he's a controlled demolition fan. I get the feeling she prefers guys who are into the family members:

The name I mentioned was 9/11 victim, and husband of Lorie Van Auken, Kenneth Van Auken.

So later that night, I'm snuggled up close to her in the church and I'm thinking, if if just gets a little colder I'll suggest that we join sleeping bags, but then I doze off and:

I was banished from the populated area because I am a BAD snorer.

But the next day she listened to my 9-11 rap. Unfortunately, the photographer made it look like there were only 3 people in the room:I tried to tell him to make it look like there were at least four of us, but no luck. And then I got busted the next day. But I was thrilled on Monday when our people showed up in the courtroom:All except for the hot brunette and her boyfriend. Crap, if the cops had just let me out on Saturday night I'm convinced I could have scored. She's a Lorie Van Auken groupie, just like me!

26 Comments:

OK Jon Gold, let me just do you a favor and pre-diagnose you with sleep apnea. Your body + BAD SNORER = 95% chance that you have a disease that's killing you. Get to a doctor, who will prescribe a sleep study, inevitably resulting in a CPAP machine, which will make your daily life infinitely better, besides delaying the point in time at which you grab your chest and lifelessly fall into Cindy Sheehan's plate of organic soy fritters.

If you don't have insurance, the process will cost a bit of money (over $5000), but it truly is a matter of life and death.

Just do yourself a favor and read up on sleep apnea. And I'm really not making fun of this particular aspect of your life - in fact, I've had the same issue.

Is it possible for Jon Gold to refrain from discussing food? You get the impression that Jon spends every minute of the day wondering what his next meal will be - who will provide it, what kind of food will be on the table, how many others will be competing in the trough, etc.

And, of course, Jon Gold did not ignore his truther obligation to note the presence of a screaming agent provocateur who was sneakily cooperating with the police. Apparently this one called Jon a nigger and threatened to kill Cindy Sheehan, with that last bit not causing the ever-whining Cindy Sheehan to perhaps mention it to the Capital Hill Police, resulting in a charge of, gee, threatening to murder someone with a gun. In front the of the White House, no less.

In any event - nice touch using the word "nigger," Jon. Better to keep the fabrications simple; Cindy's lie that a cop told her "The wars will stop when we nuke them and take their oil" was much too complicated.

Jon, forget what I wrote about sleep apnea. I'm a lawyer, not a doctor - what do I know?

Actually its pretty much the same as it has always been. Most sane people try to ignore crackpot conspiratoids. In case you haven't figured it out, very few people give the twoof movement any attention at all. The number who do has been pretty consistent.

What the hell is that babe doing in the back of a van with a bunch of Baader Meinhof types? And why did he publish this photo of himself leering at her like she's going to be his next victim?!

She must be an undercover journalist, tasked with exposing the lunacy & perversion of this cult.

"I gave Cindy my bullhorn (well you certainly won't be giving it to the brunette)& she started a chant, 'Barack how many kids did ya kill today' - a more appropriate question is, how many pizzas did this fat fuck, who isn't fit to clean President Obama's toilet, eat today.

Patrick from Cincinatti has correctly indentified this man's raison d'etre, - food. "I especially loved their soups, but all of it was delicious. They even had some tasty chicken one night."

From reading this thread, and from the obsessive gawking at Jon Gold photographs, it's apparent you are all closet Jon Gold fan boys.

Funny how when the subject turns to anti-war, your combined intellectual counterweight is reduced down to the level of fat jokes, and you all expose yourselves as the rabid extreme right-wing warmongering nut jobs that you are. Because that's what this blog's really about. It's right-wing vs left-wing all the way, including the shameless Faux News tabloid canards.

That's why tortured and hyperbolic comparisons with the Baader-Meinhof group are brought up. It's the old anti-communist zealot's red baiting game.

Then 'grande gueule' Pat chimes in with his misspelling of 'Clouseau' and that concludes today's side-show of personal attacks on activists, gossipy lies and doublethink.

The info on your profile says you are 40 and you still live with your fucking parents! Not to mention, you might be just about the ugliest mutherfucker on the planet! I might be losing my hair a lil bit but JEBUS man, just shave that shit!

If i were you, I'd worry about getting out the house, getting a girlfriend, and put Pat's age waaaaaaay down on your list of shit to worry about.

Why don't you put your real picture up, Dan, so we can size you up, instead of that homo-erotic Rambo avatar you use to inflate your ego and compensate for the lack of man juice in your fruity appearance.

The info on your profile says you are 40 and you still live with your fucking parents! Not to mention, you might be just about the ugliest mutherfucker on the planet! I might be losing my hair a lil bit but JEBUS man, just shave that shit!

Mr Stanley, while there are some things I could find offensive - such as the way you address my parents, especially given that my mother is dead - mostly I am just mildly amused. So here's your MO, it seems - make up some nonsense about somebody, post it on the web in hopes of what - affecting the way they think? Making yourself look like a total idiot? I truly don't know though you might.

And just FYI: as a heterosexual man I am really not interested in how other men assess my appearance. Now I would guess that even if I were gay your assessment of it would matter very little to me.

Or are you, perhaps, projecting? Looks like we are the same age - so perhaps you are projecting your situation in life onto others? Please do tell, Mr Stanley.

Hardly. Prominent leftists don't want shit to do with your crap. If pimping da twoof was a left-wing gig, you'd have more people like George Moinbot and fewer like Alex Jones. Most twoofers are essentially ideologically incoherent, they are supposedly anti-war but none of you give a shit about the environment, you whine about a police state but want the evil gub-ment to deport all illegal immigrants which would require a police state. You hate taxes but demand the government do everything for you.

You clowns don't like difficult real world trade offs so you create a conspiracy theory to explain away every unpleasant choice.

If you want to talk about ideology, develop one that makes sense that you can articulate without conspiracy theories, otherwise don't bother.

"Why don't you put your real picture up, Dan, so we can size you up, instead of that homo-erotic Rambo avatar you use to inflate your ego and compensate for the lack of man juice in your fruity appearance."

Why don't you put your own picture up, to accompany your angry & pedantic rants with their telling & frenzied use of language.