Volume 27

Comsie Talks: Sexy Doesn’t Have to Mean Sexual

There’s a certain something to be said about sharing moments of intimacy with someone you truly care about. Someone you love and cherish. Trust and fight for. And during those times when you’re writing a story and the moment feels right… it’s always fun to add a little naughty text to your work and give it the kind of heat that raises every eyebrow (among other things) from every reader that comes across it. Hehehe! And why not? Sex is a beautiful and natural thing! From gentle foreplay to desperate release… and every joyously carnal moment of graphic grinding and heavy breathing in between. When writing erotic fiction, it’s the explosive payoff that a large percentage of your audience has been waiting for. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But do your main characters have to actually get sweaty and naked to be sexy?

From my experience, I think that it can be a difficult balance to maintain sometimes. Because the last thing I want is for half of my readers to constantly skip over the sex scenes in my stories because they just want to get back to the main story, and the other half to skim through the real meat of the storyline because they’re just trying to get back to the sex. Either way, you’re losing HALF of your audience with every chapter you put out there. No matter HOW you write it. I think there should always be a union of both sides. The sexy and the sexual. If anyone is just reading one side or the other… they will always be missing something. And usually it’s something important.

I make sure to put extra effort into blending the two extremes so both audiences will hopefully have something to get out of the story in its entirety. Sometimes, a tender moment of connection, a soft kiss, or an expression of love through extended eye contact, can take an otherwise hardcore sex scene and give it a level of beauty and grace that will really touch the emotions of those who are reading your stories for reasons other than sex. And in the same respect, a rather normal or mundane moment between two characters can be given a sexy a little spark with a deliberately intimate touch, a light graze over a private area, a wink, or the lustful tilt of a smile. That can give a sweet conversation between your characters a flirtatious and sexy tone that excites your more sexual readers. It’s simply a matter of concentrating on one aspect of your story for that one moment, but also reminding your readers that this ‘other’ side of your story still exists… and it’ll be taking center stage too when the moment presents itself.

To me, that’s the ‘erotic’ part of erotic fiction. The build up, the magic, the fear, and then the final tasting of what might have previously been considered ‘forbidden fruit’. It’s the culmination of all the amazing dreams you’ve had of what it would be like to experience perfection for the first time. And while the actual sex may be the big draw of what you’re writing, it’s everything surrounding that sexual experience that makes it special. I can’t stress enough how important it is to take the time to build up your characters and create a romantic vibe between the two of them. In my opinion, it takes something kinda hot and turns it into a fiery inferno! Every time. Let’s be honest, there are only so many holes that you can fill on a human being, hehehe! The one thing that makes every sexual experience in your stories unique, are the characters, their personalities, and the circumstances that brought them together to enjoy one another in such an affectionate way. Without that… your sex scenes might end up being as emotionless as watching two animals hump each other on your front lawn! I mean… technically it’s sex, but… well, you know what I’m saying here.

They say that the brain is the sexiest organ in the human body, and I would definitely agree. There’s something about actually caring for the people you’re intimate with that gives the act itself something that just ‘being really really HOT’ can’t accomplish. Allow your characters to build a brief history with one another. Share some dialogue between them that displays attractive traits such as a sense of humor, a hint of bashfulness, a shared collection of common interests. Ask yourself, ‘Why would these two people want to have sex with one another?’ Because they’re both cute? Well, I won’t deny that it happens… but how much will your characters get out of that? Because your readers are probably going to feel the same way.

When I’m writing, and I want to create a moment that I would consider ‘sexy’ without having anybody take their clothes off, there are a number of methods that you can use to heat things up between your fictional sweethearts. Here are four that I, personally, think can be really effective…

The ‘Unwanted Audience’ Approach

This includes situations where your main character and his love interest are either surrounded by possible witnesses to them ‘doing the nasty’, or are under the threat of possibly being caught. Maybe your characters are hanging out with a group of friends who don’t know they’re infatuated with one another. Maybe they’re in the house alone, but a parent or sibling may come bursting in at any moment unannounced. Maybe they’re in a public place like a movie theater, the mall, the park, or in school. A place where there are a bunch of people around and they can’t just strip down and start rolling around in the bushes somewhere without… um… well, going to JAIL! Hehehe!

However, you can use this to your advantage when you’re writing. You can use situations like this to add tension to your story and get your characters to give each other clues about how much they’d rather be somewhere private where they could be banging each other senseless instead of being civil for civil’s sake! A few hidden looks, a couple of awkward giggles and blushes, or maybe even some really graphic thoughts of what could be happening in the mind of your main character, can cause a scene to really feel flirty and sexy in the minds of your readers. There’s something beautiful about two people letting the rest of the world fade away into the background and feeling a sexual connection, even when they’re not having sex.

Sex goes beyond the bedroom, kiddies! If you want to be a die hard romantic someday, you’d do best to keep that in mind!

The ‘Anticipated Reward’ Approach

This is a technique that you can use after your first few chapters when your characters have already shared their first sexual experience. In erotic fiction, that FIRST sexual encounter is always the one that blows everybody’s mind! That’s the one to cheer for, because if you spent enough time and effort building up to it, it’s a huge relief to finally see it happen. It’s amazing. But what about after that?

If your writing a story involving an ongoing relationship that goes beyond that first sexy experience, I think that writer’s can spice up a future sex scene by starting that ‘build’ up all over again from scratch. (Albeit with a lot less work this time around) Alfred Hitchcock once said about suspense, “There’s no terror in the ‘bang’, only in the anticipation of it.” Naturally, he term ‘bang’ is used in a different way here. Hehehe! When you have two people that really REALLY want to be intimate with one another, but have to wait a little while to make that happen… you can twist the knife in your readers hearts by having them feel that anticipation along with your main characters. (Hehehe, I torture you guys a lot, don’t I? I’m sorry) This can be accomplished by counting down the days until they have a chance to be alone together again, or by having them be a long distance away from one another. A hot phone conversation works wonders, just making plans for such an event. Even if they’re already together in the same room, both knowing that sex was the goal for the day… you can make things sexy just by having them sit on the edge of the bed together, not knowing how to initiate things, or feeling awkward about being the first to lean in for a kiss. All of these elements will up the emotional ante in your story, as opposed to just, “Then we got naked and had sex.” It’s functional, sure. But if it were you… would you want to get off, or do you want the whole fantasy? These are your creations! Give them fireworks!

The ‘Sensual Touch’ Approach

This is a method that you can use whether your story has actual ‘sex’ in it or not. You can still write an amazingly sweet and super HOT story without including a single sex scene. And it can be done by simply getting into the mind of your protagonist and seeing the lovely boy you’ve given to him through his eyes. This is where subtlety is the key.

Imagine the most beautiful person that you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Someone that you just went CRAZY over the moment you saw them and never let go of that infatuation. Someone from work, someone you dated, someone from high school, a celebrity on TV…whatever. Imagine what it would be like to walk up to that person right now and hug them close to you for the next five minutes straight. Picture it in your mind.

Whatever details you pick up on in this fantasy of yours? THAT’S how you use method number 3! It’s not just a hug. Think about what he feels like in your arms. Think about how close he is to you. Think about the feel of his breath on the side of your neck. Think about the softness of his hair, or the scent of lingering body spray on his shirt, or the way your hands feel the slender dip in his hips as your hands slide further down. Think about his shirt he’s wearing, or the passion in his eyes, or the nervous jitters you feel in your chest just from being this close to him. See, this method is all in the way you describe him. Something as simple as a friendly hug, even a quick one, can turn into an eternal moment in your main characters mind. One where he absorbs every sexy detail of the person he’s attracted to. Let your readers drink it all in with him. Like I said, this is where I think subtlety works better. You could talk about his round ass and his big package and all… but it adds a bit of sweetness when you use more ‘hints’ than actual graphic descriptions in this case. By doing that, no sex is needed at all. The true passion is all in the mind of your main character, and therefore…in the minds of your readers.

The ‘Fearful Resistance’ Approach

I probably get more flak over this than anything else! Hehehe! Some people absolutely DESPISE me for using this one, but it’s the way I write! So they’ll just have to hate me for it. 😛

Being the shy younger brother of the ‘Anticipated Reward’ method, this is something that I would use in your earliest chapters when your main characters are just being introduced to one another and you’re building up a bond between them. This is what you use to make your story enticing and arousing, but you get to avoid the whole ‘Wham, bam, thank you, man!’ trap. You’re not going out to a gay club with the intention of, “I don’t care WHO it is! I’m gonna go out find me a cutie and get LAID tonight!” Your characters just met! Maybe they don’t know if the other guy is gay yet. Maybe they’re in the closet. Maybe they’re a little bit insecure about themselves. Maybe things are too good to be true, and they decide at the last second that they don’t have the courage to go through with making the first move. There will be a lot of people who will just YELL at you over how they want you to just get on with it already. They’ll attack you as an author, they’ll attack your characters, they’ll attack your story as a whole. But fuck that! Hehehe, this is YOUR story, right? Don’t let anybody talk you into believing that, “I discovered I was gay when I was 12 and just randomly started approaching boys for sex and never felt a single moment of fear or concerned myself with rejection!” No. I refuse to believe that people meet a cute boy twice and end up sucking him off a few days later. There’s no ‘feeling’ in that. That’s just prostitution without the exchange of money.

If you’re trying to create an erotic fiction story with a bit of heart and a touch of sweetness… a little fear and doubt is not a BAD thing! Tease your main character with the possibility and have him put some effort into winning the prize. A little ‘cat and mouse’ can be just as sexy as the sex itself. A couple of shared laughs, or a stuttered compliment under his breath, or a clumsy attempt to move things forward that fails miserably, hehehe… all of these things can bring some real humanity and relatability to your characters and the stories you write. There are people who will understand just how terrifying it is to approach someone they really REALLY like for the first time. How hard it is to talk, or how they may accidentally knock stuff off of a nearby table, or what it’s like to be so fascinated by someone that you doubt your own ability to get them to be interested in you in the same way. It happens. If that’s you and it reflects your personality, then tell THAT story! Tell it from your personal experience.

I love a quick Nifty story every now and then myself, but I don’t really leave my house thinking that I’m going to meet some hot blond boy at a trucker rest stop somewhere who wants to find an empty stall in the bathroom to have sex in without us even knowing each other’s names. Stick with your own plan. Don’t be bullied into forcing sex into a story if you don’t feel you’re ready yet. Take your time and do it your way. If they get impatient, that’s ok. I’ve never ONCE heard somebody say, “Dangit! There’s not enough porn on the internet!!!” Hehehe, so write it in at your own pace. They’ll be ok. I promise.

Anyway, so those are my thoughts on the ‘sexy’ parts of erotic fiction, over just the sex. Don’t worry, I LOVE sex! LOL! I do! And there isn’t going to be a lack of it in the chapters to come. Believe me, I don’t believe in forcing sex OUT of the story any more than I believe in forcing it INTO the picture. But if you ever want to set up a scene to get your readers all hot under the collar without removing a single article of clothing… this is how I would do it! Cool?

Take care, you guys! This has been Comsie Talks! Keep love in your hearts and you’ll go wrong!