The Needle: Bulletproof Wallet

Lifeguard: A man was nearly shot by a stray bullet at his Northeast home, but luckily, his wallet took the bullet for him. +3

Knocked Out: Another person in Columbia Heights was a victim of the "Knockout Game"—in which a group of people punch a random person on the street with the sole purpose of trying to knock him or her out. -4Big Pimpin': This Pigskins' fan has been spotted at the last two away games wearing fake tattoos and a large white fur coat with the words "Ballin" on the back. +2

What A Zoo: A zebra bit a zookeeper at the National Zoo today—which is bad enough—but then a gazelle that witnessed the incident freaked out, ran into a barrier, and died. -7