Saturday, March 15, 2014

(More) Notes from The (Twin) Trenches

I am sitting here in my "spot" on the couch with my two little muchkins snuggled around me sleeping soundly on my (awesome) twin nursing pillow. I'm tired, but nowhere near as exhausted as I thought I'd be. Of course, we are only in the first inning but, so far, we're doing pretty good: Tandem nursing is going great, and Haven and Mira are gaining weight as they should be. This morning I even managed to slap on some makeup, a cute outfit, and put both girls in the Moby Wrap for our first "public" outing to the grocery store. The birth announcements went out. I have managed to stay on top of thank you notes. We've successfully packed all three kids into the car and made a trip to the pediatrician. Isla is still in the running for sweetest big sister ever and has nothing but love for our new additions. Scott and I are getting nighttime sleep in digestable 3-4 hour chunks. Life is plugging along quite nicely, if not a bit robotic at the moment: breastfeed, cuddle, put down for nap, try to steel a moment to myself, mash something edible in my mouth, guzzle water, love up on big sister, soothe agitated baby/babies, rinse, repeat. A little groove is emerging. I like grooves.

But...

I have learned quite a bit these past ten days. Namely, that the first couple weeks of having twins involve a lot of highs and lows and they swing wildly from one second to the next, exorcist-style. One moment I'm all "I've totally got this, piece of cake, I. Am. Supermom!!!" and the next I'm all "How the f**k am I going to do this?!" I know this is normal, but as much as I prepared for the birth and arrival of our twins (and, believe me, I prepared) I was not ready for the emotional roller coaster that supersizing your family automatically puts you on. It's quite ride. Whew.

Let me indulge you with a couple examples of what I am talking about...

Twin high moment of the week: successfully "wearing" Haven and Mira in the Moby wrap. I was on cloud nine. Not only could I use both my hands to play with Isla, cook, use the computer or go on a walk - but I was giving our girls the benefits of baby wearing. Oh yeah, life was pretty good when we figured this one out. Still pretty stoked about it, actually. This was a close second to when the pediatrician told us their weight gain was right on track (my indication that breastfeeding is going well). Side note: if you are a breastfeeding mom, you will become obsessed with poop, pee (better known as "diaper output") and weight gain - not necessarily in that order. (For baby wrapping instructions, check out this pdf - twin wearing towards the end.)

Twin low moment of the week: last night, Isla strangely awoke at 1:00am from a nightmare screaming for mama but I was nursing the girls and couldn't go to her. Of course Haven and Mira chose this precise moment to have little meltdowns themselves so Scott and I were quickly introduced to the horror that is children screaming in surround sound. The whole ordeal was so utterly heartbreaking to me that I cried like a baby and threw myself a little pity party while slumped in bed nursing our girls. It was all over within 25 minutes but still, it's a tough lesson for a parent to learn that they cannot be in two - let alone three - places at once. Not to mention how quickly things can go from copacetic to chaotic in a household with multiple children. It's impressive. Sigh.

And there are more examples of both. So many more.

A huge part of the ups and downs no doubt have to do with the fact that Scott and I are in total limbo at the moment. We went from living on our boat in the Caribbean with a pretty sweet and sustainable set up, to moving in with my parents during a particularly brutal winter and facing a relatively uncertain future. We feel a bit out of place, a little out of sorts, and between the individual demands of three children under three, we're trying to figure out a "plan" for the future which is kind of impossible at the moment. Pardon the cliche, but it's difficult to see the forest through the trees right now.

Of course all this is to be expected. All of this is normal. Anyone who's had one baby, let alone twins, is familiar with the wacky hormones that race through a woman's body post-pregnancy. And anyone who has made a significant and semi-abrupt life adjustment understands the "culture shock" that comes with it. This is life. We've all been here in one way or another.

Yep, it's hard work. Sure, there are moments when I wish we could just go back to the boat and pick up where we left off. This wasn't part of our 'plan' -- but if we've learned anything this past three years it's that plans are written in sand and, sometimes, you just gotta go where the wind blows. Our girls are awesome. We are totally, utterly in love with them. They are bringing our family so much joy. Sometimes, it's the unexpected detours in life that take you somewhere pretty dang awesome -- so we'll just keep on cruisin'.

7 comments:

I don't think I was able to delete the other message, but I wanted to correct it because I was off on the date! . . . Above, Brittany, you wrote, that you have "three babies under three" . . . and, if I'm not mistaken, you actually have three babies under two years old!!! Isla doesn't even turn 2 until March 31st right?!!!! So that is even more amazing to contemplate!!! <3 <3

Lov those little suckers----. Twins But....U need some "me" time Get off tbe sofa, off your arse, away from that. Special nest u describe on the sofa.Spend an hour every day out of the houseWith your oldest daughter or your husband, mother, the girls/ best friend. Alone walking ...

Speaking as parents of girl, boy then twin girls , U need to get your life back some time soon......

Someone who intended to sail around the world, Doesn't sound like the woman who is growing onto the. Sofa, nursing.....

Gee I was a bit rough on u thereI apologize and take it back...I wish u well but remember when our twins arrived.Think about balance in a California , chi zen buddist type of way....Or to be more polite...I think you and ultimately the entire family,would benefitIf u do one thing every day to return your life to 'normal'

Ed, wow. You have NO CLUE. These babies are ten days old. How about you get off your arse and work on that "buddhism" thing you speak of and get a little compassion. And feel free never to comment or read our blog again. You, my friend, are an asshole. All the best!

Well, I did it. I've read EVERY single blog ... Even some twice. I'm all caught up. Thankfully you've put me onto a couple of great books - "Got to go to Know" and Bumfuzzle, some in the read next category, and Wandering Dolphin blog to get me through the days when your hands are understandably too full to update us. I love your blog and will enjoy the twin adventure on the hard until you do another 180 adventure shake-up of your lives, however that works for the Meyers. Plans in the sand, after all, as life should be. Love the pic of Scott with his arms full of love and most especially the look of pure joy and pride in the pics of Isla with her sisters. Enjoy your family and I'll continue to enjoy your writing ... Whenever you manage to eek out a second to blog

I've been following for a couple years now (more or less since Isla was born) and I swear she's smiling bigger than ever now that she has two little sisters. Her smiles are HUGE!And yeah, the left side of our couch is slightly (ahem. a lot) indented in the shape of my butt and my #2 is almost 1. The couch is a great place to hang out. :)thanks for updating. Enjoy those babes.