SpongeBob: Aw huh. I found a box of my old baby toys in the attic, and we're playing with them. [Squidward pulls down blinds] Hey! I found my old teddy walrus! This really brings me back. [hugs teddy walrus]

Patrick:[sucks on pacifier] Yeah. I fell baby-ish. Look at me I'm a baby. [sucks on thumb]

SpongeBob: Babies don't talk like that Patrick. They talk like... [SpongeBob and Patrick make baby sounds. SpongeBob plays xylophone. Patrick plays with ring toss. SpongeBob plays with mallet and whistle. Patrick still plays with ring toss. SpongeBob and Patrick are both playing with baby toys. Squidward gets angry and walks out of his house naked]

Squidward: Just as the essentail oils were kicking in. [SpongeBob and Patrick plays on a scooter] Hey! I'd appreciate some peace and quiet. [SpongeBob and Patrick scoots away] How dare you scoot away from me. I'm scolding here. [SpongeBob and Patrick plays with Jack-in-the-Box] Would you 2 for once. Act your age! [Head from Jack-in-the-Box pops out. SpongeBob and Patrick cries] Fine! Act like infanture hold-ups. See if I care. I'm returning to my adult lifestyle. So keep it down! [slips on toy boatmobile, gets head stuck in scooter and crashes into his mailbox]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! [Squidward's head sweals up]

Patrick: He's mumbling and drolling like a little baby

SpongeBob: He's isn't looking so good. We should take him to a doctor. Come on let's take him to the hospital.

Patrick: Hang in there buddy we'll fix you up in no time. [SpongeBob and Patrick carries Squidward to the hospital]

Dr. Forrest: Hmmm?

SpongeBob: What's the prognosis doctor?

Dr. Forrest: Your friend has a condition known by the medical term Head-go-boom-boom-idis. Not to worry though he recover over normaly over time, but he musn't recieve any more blows to the head or he may stay this way permenetly. Just care for his as he was you own bouncy baby boy and he will be fine in no time. [cuts to SpongeBob's house]

Patrick: Hey little Squidward. Ready to have some fun. [throws Squidward up to ceiling]

SpongeBob: Ok Squidie din din is ready. Where is our little miricle? [shows Squidward stuck in ceiling] Patrick how could you! [climbs up Patrick and pulls Squidward out of ceiling] There! My little darling. Were supposed to protect his head remember. [crashes top of high chair to Squidward's face] Ok Squidie I made your favorite. Grilled Tar Tar with a algae thin of bread. [puts food on Squidward's high chair] Here it comes, open wide. [Squidward rejects food] Come on liitle buddy you got to grow up to be big and crankie like the airplane in the hanger. [forces Squidward to eat] See Patrick you sometimes you have to out-think the baby. [Squidward spits food at SpongeBob and throws plate] You know Patrick maybe...

Patrick:[licks food off SpongeBob] Thanks for sharing baby

SpongeBob: Ok. Time to lighten things up. Do you like games Squidie.

Patrick: Games? Games are our middle name.

[SpongeBob and Patrick play kelpy cake. Squidward claps]:

SpongeBob: You like that Squidie?

Patrick: He does. [SpongeBob and Patrick try to get Squidward to play Kelpy Cake. Squidward slaps SpongeBob and Patrick and throws SpongeBob and Patrick up]

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, Squidward is in no condition to perform his Krusty duties. [turns around to show Mr. Krabs that Squidward is a baby. Squidward makes baby noises] Poor guy has the mind of an infant.

Mr. Krabs: I don't care if you're a seaweed-for-brains. He needs to be behind that register. We've got customers out there just begging to hand me their money. [shows customers outside begging to come in with their money].

SpongeBob: But...

Mr. Krabs: No buts! Get to work, you two!

SpongeBob:[slams into the table and Squidward flies into his work station] All settled into your work station, I see. Maybe you're ready for your Krusty duties after all! Now let's make it official! [hands Squidward a hat, which he rejects] Oh, how silly of me! [grabs a high chair and picks up Squidward] Squiddy needs a high chair! [puts the high chair near the register and puts Squidward in it. Squidward bangs his head on the cash register] And duct tape! [duct-tapes Squidward to the chair and puts his hat on] Oh, Squiddy! I'm so proud of you! Just yesterday, you were drooling all over me! And look at you now, working and sitting in a big boy seat! [SpongeBob's eyes get full of tears]

Mr. Krabs: All right! That's enough, you two. Time to serve some customers! [customers race in to order]

SpongeBob: Remember, buddy! I'll be right behind you!

Billy: Can I get a Krabby Patty and a large kelp shake, please? [Squidward makes baby noises and hits his head with a rattle] OK, How much do I owe ya? [Squidward drools and sucks on Billy's hand]

SpongeBob:[peeks his head out the kitchen window] Squidward! That's not for eating! [takes a napkin and polishes Billy's hand] There we go. Good as newww! [Squidward sucks on Billy's head] That's not for eating either! [takes Squidward off Billy's head] Sorry, sir.

Mr. Krabs: Hop to it, lads. We haven't even taken our first order!

SpongeBob: Aye-aye, Mr. Krabs. [hands Squidward a pencil and pad of paper] You know what to do. [Squidward grabs the pencil and paper and laughs, throwing the papers into the kitchen] Thanks, Squiddy. I can also count on yaa... [notices that Squidward doodled on the pieces of paper] Will this be for here or to go? [peeks out the kitchen window, where Squidward is laughing and tossing the papers around] You really need to work on your penmanship, Squiddy. [Squidward laughs and doodles on Nat's face]

Nat: My face! My face! Also my leg. But mostly my face!

Pilar: Hey! Are you going to take an order or what? [Squidward opens the register, hits his head and cries]

SpongeBob: Squidward! Yelling at a poor, defenseless baby! You oughta be ashamed!

Mr. Krabs: Are you out of your ever-living mind?! We can't change that baby out here in front of the customers! Take him in back where the food is prepared. [customers get disgusted and leave] Oh, that's it! Get that poopy baby out of me restaurant!: : :

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, if my poopy baby isn't welcome here, then I'm not staying either! [slips on Squidward's baby rattle and ends up in the kitchen, where he bangs Squidward's head on the frying pans and ice machine. Ice ends up on Squidward's head. SpongeBob gasps] Squidward! [Squidward turns back to normal]