Paraesthesia: .NET Development and Some Pictures of My Cat

Cold Calls

I just finished calling a bunch of job candidates on the phone, doing
phone screens to see who we should call back for an interview.

I hate talking on the phone.

It’s sort of like a phobia. I don’t have anything to say to people on
the phone. I can’t sit and think about what I’m going to say, or how I’m
going to say it, so I end up hemming and hawing about things. If it’s
casual conversation, that’s one thing, or if it’s someone I know
already, that’s something… but cold calling people I don’t know and
trying to talk to them, even on a professional basis, that’s hard for
me.

Yeah, it’s a wonder I ever got a date, right? Trust me, it took some
balls on my part to call Jenn the first time. Even today, I still avoid
calling her if I can, even at home, because I hate the stupid phone. I
email her a lot.

So Greg (boss/friend) probably thinks it’s a fucking riot that he’s got
me calling people, against every grain in my being, and filing it under
the “other related tasks” clause in my job description. I know, I know,
I gotta help out and all… but man, I’d so much rather program or draw
or work with Microsoft Access or, like, clean the bathroom or something
than call people.

Well, maybe not clean the bathroom. But you get the point.

Here’s a question, though - can you legally disqualify a job applicant
based on their inability to speak in a comprehensible fashion? Like, if
they have such a thick accent or just don’t have the grammar to
communicate verbally with you so you understand? That’s not even just
ESL people I’m talking about, either, but, say, people who are so into
Ebonics or whatever that you just can’t understand a single word they
say. Isn’t that a communications problem? Wouldn’t that impact team
performance and results? How do you know someone understands the project
requirements if you can’t hold a conversation with them?