’Aso Ebi’ for Obama

Lest I forget, we have to mark this victory of our ‘son’ who has been given another shot to lead the world in a big way during his inauguration in January. Towards this, we have organised a lot of activities, including performances by different masquerades that will entertain at the occasion. The fuel subsidy thieves and the beneficiaries of the scam are not left out as they are expected to cough up part of their ill-gotten wealth that our government has the wisdom but lacks the courage to collect from them.

Yours sincerely is in close contact with President Obama’s kith and kin in Kenya and I can authoritatively tell you that I have the mandate as their sole representative in Nigeria to collect money for the ‘Aso Ebi’ (identical dress). If you are interested (as I guess you must be), please send the money ($500 only) for the dress to this account: Bank 419, account name: Pro-Fraud Monsters, account number 000419. Limited stock available; so pay now to avoid the last minute rush! Only those wearing the ‘Aso Ebi’ will be admitted into the venue of the inauguration. And, please, don’t allow yourself to be conned; ignore others who may purport to be rendering the same selfless service for ‘our son’. Yours sincerely is the only accredited person given that franchise in Nigeria. See you there!