Drake and Pusha T are deep in the beef

If you look at the internet right now, there’s a 1000% chance you come across the Drake vs. Pusha T beef. If you’re like me (white), you’re most likely a bit flustered. No worries, we’re going to figure this one out together. I’ve personally took it upon myself to perform hours of thorough research on the topic (scrolled through Twitter for 15 minutes) and will now take it upon myself to break down the rap beef as much as I can.

And I know the haterz will say I’m not qualified to talk rap beef because I’m white and my parent are married (not that those two things are related at all), but honestly, blogging is very similar to being a rapper. My family understands neither, they’re both pretty stupid, and much like being a rapper, my writing career with most likely end with me getting shot.

But I truly feel like I can relate to this beef. My relationship with the black community can be summed up in the fact that I don’t cross the street when I see a black guy walking towards me at night, but I’m also always way too proud of myself for that decision. Like I’ll stay on the same side of the road, but upon being passed by a black guy completely minding his business of probably living a much better life than me, I’ll instantly think, “I’m one of the good ones”. Then again I haven’t seen Black Panther, but that’s just because I’m not 12 and like superhero movies.

So with all that, here we go. Let’s start with a background of each rapper.

First we have Drake:

Drake is a half black rapper who’s real name is Audrey Graham. He got his start in show business as an actor on the Disney show “Degrassi”, playing a kid in a wheelchair. He’s also Canadian. So yea, it’s fair to say he’s not exactly the early favorite for a rap feud. I’m also pretty sure he hooked up with Kris Jenner once, which isn’t a great look, considering he has the same taste in women as Caitlin. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that).

On the positive side, he’s really famous and is probably the most popular musician in the world right now. Still, he’s Canadian.

Then we have Pusha T:

Pusha T is a rapper who is absolutely obsessed with writing music about selling cocaine. I hope my future wife loves me half as much as Pusha T loves drug dealing references. He’s also a 40 year old man with dreads, making him an absolute wild card. The only thing scarier than a grown man with dreads is a grown woman with dreads.

Okay, now let’s get to the actual beef:

Last week, Pusha T released his Kanye West produced album, and apparently he made a reference to Drake having a ghost writer, and compared his rise to fame to that of Donald Trump. Personally, I don’t see the connection between the two, but I love the move of one rapper calling another rapper Donald Trump. It’d be like Beyonce calling Rihanna Tomi Lahren. Then again, Tomi could have used Rihanna’s um-ber-ella-ella-ella when she got water poured on her last week. Thoughts and prayers.

Drake came back with a diss track of his own. Here is called out Pusha T for not being the drug dealer he claimed to be. He said ““Man, you might’ve sold to college kids for Nike and Mercedes / But you act like you sold drugs for Escobar in the ’80s.” I’m not exactly a drug dealing expert, but if you’re selling drugs for Mercedes, I feel like that’s still pretty impressive. Is that really a diss? And selling to college kids? That’s just smart market research. A valuable demographic if you ask me.

Pusha T came back again, this time with a song called “The Story of Adidon”. I’ll be honest, this one was straight up mean.

First, the cover art for the song is this old picture of Drake in blackface:

What’s the ruling on a half black person in blackface? No pun intended, but I think it’s a grey area. It’s definitely offensive, but not as much as if a white person did it. I’d put it on the same level as me pulling the side of my eyes back and pretending that I’m Asian.

What’s more offensive to me is the rest of the picture. The face, pose, and outfit make it look like Drake is on a flyer advertising his high school’s production of Suessical.

Then we have the actual lyrics. First, Pusha T reveals a little secret that Drake has been hiding the fact that he had a baby with a porn star. He goes on to call him a deadbeat and what not. Definitely on the meaner side if you ask me. Then again, imagine if that’s how you found out that Drake was your dad? You’re casually listening to that song and all of sudden it clicks. Like “oh that’s why I came out of the womb with a lined up beard and an owl sweatshirt”. ” I thought I was crying because I was a baby, but I guess it’s because I knew jealousy is just love and hate at the same time”. “Don’t pull up at 6am to burp me”.

Then Pusha T brings up Drake’s producer, making fun of him for having MS, and talks about how he’s going to die soon. We in the industry call that “Too far”. I used to say “Don’t go there”, but that’s just lame. (Free T-shirt if you get that reference).

Pusha T making fun of Drake’s best friend for having a terrible disease is the rap equivalent of when you and your friends are giving each other shit, then someone is like “well your mom’s dead”.

I think Drake’s only real option at this point is to shoot Pusha T, right? In my mind that’s the only next logical step. I think that needs to be kept in mind while we try to fix our gun control policies. There should be a rap beef clause where you get immunity and can buy any gun you want immediately if you’re in the middle of a hip hop feud. I’ll be honest, Drake might have to pull up driving a tank. Like if Drake doesn’t show up flexing in a 1944 German Panzer I think he loses this one. Talk about a retro whip. Put some 24’s on U-boat or something.