Thursday, February 12, 2009

[as originally posted 12/08/08 on my formerly free thinking blog http://tworippingarseholes.blogspot.com/ ]Good to know the language of the Winnipeg Free Press' editors has stayed above all the name-calling and hyperbole so rife in political circles these days. Not.

Still reeling from Saturday's Freep editorial, we two arses are now grappling with the fact that one of us may not be an "average Canadian". Apparently, anyone able to use "sophisticated arguments" in favour of a coalition is not an "average" citizen, while anyone who backs the idea of the "toxically offensive" coalition is guilty of aiding and abetting those who would "usurp power".

Wow.

Between us it now means one arsehole is treasonous (Fat Arse) while the other (Smart Arse) is on the right side of the divide. That each individual has a right to a political opinion used to be common wisdom among us. It never occurred to us that taking one side versus the other would mean one of us was no longer "average"?

To add insult to injury, Smart Arse has childishly seized on the Freep's dichotomy and now avers that Fat Arse is not just no longer "average" but is now, in fact, below average. As you might guess this has caused some undue tension at our own recent editorial meeting here at Two Ripping Arseholes. One can only imagine the negative effect it is having on the debate across the city and across the land.

Way to go Freep!

One of we arseholes (the newly anointed below average one) suggests the editors take Saturday's lame editorial rallying cry, "Three cheers for average Canadian citizens", and shove it where the sun don't shine. [n.b. The other arsehole is laughing too hard to have any opinion on the matter.]

If the Freep editorial board feels it must demonize readers who hold different views than its board to make its point, then it is little more than a tawdry rag. Be advised Freep, one of us will now only be using your rag to wipe his "sophisticated" average arse; after which Smart Arse will be free to read it. It is hoped that Smart Arse will, in future, be able to glean more from your opinions given they will now be coming to him with a bit of ... errr... extra context.

p.s. does anybody know if newsprint ink is poisonous and does anybody know how to flush this stuff when Smart Arse finishes reading it?