Friday, September 11, 2009

For those of you who've already forgotten who I'm talking about, click here. It's also only been 3 days, so you should probably go see a neurologist.

So his appointment was at 10:00 today.

10:00 - No Mr. Jackass.

10:05 - No Mr. Jackass.

10:10 - No Mr. Jackass.

10:15 - Phone rings. It's Mr. Jackass's secretary. She's calling to say that he's in the lobby of my building, but is tied up in a VERY IMPORTANT telephone meeting, and can't come up right now. Mary told her that we don't see new patients who are more than 20 minutes late. She says she'll tell him.

10:17 - Mr. Jackass, cell phone glued to head, shows up. Signs in. He looks at Mary and says, "There. I'm here. Now let me finish my meeting" and sits down in the lobby. Argues with someone on the phone.

10:18 - I go to door, call him back. He doesn't even look up, just gives me the "I'm on the phone, leave me alone" gesture.

10:20 - My 11:00 (a follow-up visit) shows up early. So I take her back. Mr. Jackass gives me dirty look when I call her back, but continues his meeting.

10:35 - Mrs. Follow-Up and I finish her appointment, and I walk her out. I give Mary the "Mr. Jackass is toast" gesture, 15 minutes after I should have.

10:40 - Mr. Jackass hangs up his phone

He goes up to the front desk and tells Mary that "He'll see Dr. Grumpy now". Mary tells him that he's missed his appointment, and can no longer be seen. He starts yelling at her, saying he was here on-time, and in my office by 10:20, like we told him. Demands to talk to the office manager.

I was standing out of sight behind a shelf, because I expected this to happen and wanted to hear it. So I made my appearance. He immediately laid into me about the fact that HE WASN'T BEING SEEN ON TIME BECAUSE HE'D BEEN SITTING IN MY LOBBY FOR A WHILE AND WAS A BUSY GUY WITH STUFF TO DO.

I told him that it's our office policy that we don't see, or reschedule, new patients who are more than 20 minutes late. He insisted he wasn't late. I told him he was, and pointed out that when I tried to call him back for his appointment he'd refused to come back because he was on the phone.

So he demanded to talk to Dr. Grumpy.

And I introduced myself.

For perhaps 10 seconds it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Then he picked up his phone, pressed a key, and said "Yeah, it's me. Patch me back into the meeting". And walked out the door.

At 11:45 the ER called me. He'd gone over there and told them he needed to be evaluated for a stroke. They asked me to come over and see him. I said no.

"The accumulated filth of all their cell phones and IHOP coupons will foam up in their empty skull cavities and the Mr. Jackasses and Mrs. Bimbos will come into my office and shout 'Save us!' and I'll look down and whisper 'No.'"

the balls of that man. what does he think, you'll see him when he's good and ready? Mr Jackass he is and a whole lot more. He probably doesn't care that other people, have a schedule and stick to it. what an asswipe. i am glad you stood your ground dr g. and Mary too. Kudos.

I think people on cell phones have got the be the rudest thing and my biggest pet peeve. If you are somewhere expecting service, how can we help you when you got a cell phone glued to your ear. At the pharmacy, i usually tell those people that i'll help them when they are done on their phone, they usually get pissed but hopefully they will learn. Peaople dont go to mcdonalds drive thru talking on a cell phone so what makes it ok to do it in a dr's office? effed up people. I loved your post!!

awesome. SO awesome.You know, a client of mine recently called us and asked if, since his dog had bitten him, he should "punch it in the nose and show it who's in charge around here." I wonder if perhaps you should hire my client to handle your patients. Or something.

;)

(btw the answer is "no, do not punch your dog in the nose, that is inappropriate.")

I know people like this, blow you off while they yammer on the cell, usually loud enough to be annoying to the entire hemisphere. But, should you be talking on yours, they will rush up and start blabbing before you can end your conversation.

(I was kinda hoping --for sake of the man's lacunar brain tissue, that the punchline was going to be something about you wearing your green Incredible Hunk costume that day, instead of Batman, as usual, but report of the guy's demeanor did not suggest that he shouldn't have for a minute not considered you'd be who you are.)

Is there any possible physiological reason e.g. incomplete frontal lobotomy, cerebral disassociation, that would explain why Mr. J could not realize that he should be paying more attention to the business at hand?

But jackasses are jackasses, after all, so....document the hell out of this whole thing in your records. Just a sneaky paranoid suspicion, because you know none of the effects from this will be his fault.

You are all kinds of awesome, Dr. Grumpy. And I think my brother-in-law went to the same school of jack-assary as your patient; he too is a very, very important man to whom the rules of civility do not apply.

Oh, where do you start with a human being who behaves like this? Even if he were Donald Trump (is he really THAT important, or the pope, or whomever the big shot of the moment is) in my life that does not excuse his horrid behavior. First, hats of to you Dr. G and your amazing ability to maintain your dignity. Bravo. You did not cheapen yourself for this shumck.Second, I think of his family and co-workers. Mercy. They must just hate the man.Third, being an ex So-Cal girl I think of scripts. You and I could come up with a doozy of a medical show. You know you'd have to sell it as a sitcom because no one would believe the ignorant patients you seem to find looming in your practice. Not Grey's Anatomy, but Frontal Lobotomy??

I just love to you to death Dr. G and when I finish nursing school I hope you are still in business and Annie is ready to retire!

1. Good for you for refusing to see him in the ER!2. Unfortunately that's where he'll go and that ER nurse from the other blog will be stuck with him!3. You can probably contact his insurance company and put some kind of a block on him. That way he can't have any encounter with you (office, E.R., hospital consult, whatever) because the insurance won't cover it.

What an ass!! Congrats for giving him the boot... if it were me I'd probably be up for investigation as a result of scheduling the jerk for a series of enemas, colonoscopies, and urethal scrapes for his stroke condition. ;-)

I hope he decides to "have a few too many drinks" at his BBQ, develope maybe a little atrial fib, and throw a massive cardioembolic stroke!! :) If fate was sealing for this ass-clown, he'd have his "clot" in his temporal lobe in Broca's area!!! He is aware of everything, but has Broca's aphasia, and can't get his words out of his mouth!! lol, perfect ironic fate for such an important douchebag!! Have fun having only the thoughts in your damaged mind, and no ability to have conference-call-meetings on your phone!! But this jackass will prolly live forever, seems how all the douches and jackasses out live caring and hardworking peeps.

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This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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