Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Here is some more hard hitting stuff from the propoganda machine that passes for the "news": A hot buttered rum has about as many calories as a double cheeseburger. Acupuncture is the new Botox. Your childs foam gun could be dangerous if they swallow it, and if they don't, it's probably dangerous anyway due to the fact it's a gun *gasp*. Pomegranates are tricky.

Oh god, won't someone PLEASE think of the children. BTW, I'll have that double cheese--you can keep your hot rum. The only thing left that isn't a full-on propoganda/advertising vehicle is the weather. Maybe that is why old men spend all of their time talking about the weather. After so many years, they have arrived at the point where they realize it is a worthless waste of time to talk about any of the other soul sucking issues spouted by the telescreen. Either that, or it is simply a product of impending senility. In my humble estimation, either of these things are preferable to the alternative, acceptance and enjoyment.

As if you couldn't tell already, I don't have any poker content that would be in any way noteworthy to most, as the insomia aftereffects caught up with me and I went to bed at 9 PM, much to the satisfaction of my inner senior citizen. I slept reasonably well and was able to wake up generally annoyed with the world at large (this is a good thing) instead of being too tired to care. Christ, I just thought of something disturbing. Is this blog turning into the HumanHead sleep diary? Even the possibility of this turning into something that asinine gives me shivers, and I am hereby cutting myself off from talking about sleep issues.

Back to the criticism of random things!

This would be a great spot to begin a tirade that shares the fact that I have found somthing I hate even worse than minivans. For anyone who has ANY familiarity with me, my hate of minivans (and oversize SUV's to a slightly lesser extent) is certainly no secret. They are the bane of the American Highway, and are the nemesis (what is the plural of nemesis, nemesi?) of the HumanHead. They are predominantly commandeered by the AOL-using, George Bush supporting, morning television news show-enjoying, altogether ignorant masses who are loathsome to the extreme. Now I know that not ALL folks fit into this category, as in fact I have known several kickass people who happen to drive a minivan and/or SUV. Just know that I am aware there are exeptions to the sweeping generalities that I make.

OK, on with the tirade.....

Even more than the above abominable group, I now even moreso find myself despising those who decide that it is a good idea to put those damnable ribbon decals on their vehicle. You know the ones, containing such banal text as "I support our troops" or "God Bless the USA". It has become so pervasive (at least in this particular Midwestern purgatory) I have taken to travelling with a homemade Fear Factor bucket to barf into (OK not really, but sometimes I feel as though I ought to). These stickers infuriate me so much due to the fact that they are merely empty symbols, and the only reason most of these people have them is that everyone else does and they want to show how "patriotic" they are, even though most haven't actually DONE anything to support the troops other than this. As a former military member who was often deployed, I can tell you with great certainty that a soldier will appreciate and enjoy something as innocuous as even some homemade cookies when sitting with a bunch of other guys on the ass end of the world. I can also promise you they will feel a lot more actual love from cookies, cards, etc. than they will from those goddamn decals you have plastered all over your brat taxi. Should you find yourself in a "patriotic" mood, please, actually DO something, it's really not too difficult. Get with the FamilySupportCenter if you have a military base nearby, or just do some looking around, as there are opportunities for actually doing something nearly everywhere. But for the love of all that is holy, STAY AWAY FROM THE STICKERS.

More schoolwork is going to be rollng my way starting this evening, so tomorrow will most likely bring little or no content involving my personal poker play. But, if your in the mood to hear more long windedness, I plan on at least spouting a mini-tirade concerning the beloved Phil Helmuth Jr.