Single Mums

Hey,
Anyone out there doing pregnancy on their own?
I've just found out I'm pregnant on Saturday and split from my ex of a couple of months on Thursday due to coercive, controlling and criticising behaviour towards me and my daughter (3 on 9th May).
I have 2 different due dates depending on the calculators I've used- a few say 7th November and a few more say 15th November, so I'm either 10.5 or 11.5wks.
I feel like I've repeated history as I had the same problem with a nasty bf who's my daughter's "father" who doesn't know she is a girl and has never met her or contacted me since a few weeks before share was born.
My recent ex already has 4 children, and I've discussed with many supportive women who suggest I don't tell him because of his behaviour and tell the police of feeling vulnerable of his controlling and criticising behaviour.
Abortion I could never do and I think it would severely affect my mental health and capability as a mother to my daughter. I know she'll love having a sibling because of how interested she is in babies, especially her 10 month cousin and she's been talking about having a brother or sister for a while.
I feel pretty capable of doing it on my own again, as I did it with when pregnant with my daughter.
I am worried about antenatal care though- I contacted a private midwife yesterday and waiting to hear back on whether she would take on someone on a very low income because of my previous traumatic experience of seeing a different midwife every appointment I had when pregnant with my daughter and my labour and delivery was even more traumatic so the importance of having the continuity of care along with feeling empowered and capable of getting the home water birth I wanted instead of the nasty traumatic c-section which it ended up being. Hopefully she can help me, instead of having to go through the NHS again.
Anyway, I'm based in Newbury, Berkshire. Would love to hear from others going through the same thing or just other single mothers in general xx

Comments (3)

I'm a single mum to 4 with number 5 on the way all my exes have been the same abusive and controlling , my last son's dad doesn't know I had a son we split when I was 15 weeks pregnant, this ones dad is different in that way but having a hard time getting his head round the fact I'm pregnant when he was told he couldn't have kids so haven't seen him since I told him I just get a text now and then so am alone with this one too but I can do it I have done it so your not alone , message if you need to talk x

Single mum here...made the mistake of marrying my daughters dad...he was a uselessness cheat and although physically present sort of for the first 18months didn’t actually lift a finger with anything..we’ve been officially divorced now since daughter was 3 (having him been gone a lot longer) now about 2 do it again alone as this ones father was a mistake of epic proportions..wants no involvement at all and hasn’t spoken 2 me since I was 9 weeks (11+3 now) so will be doing the whole thing alone....terrifying is an understatement but if I can do it with 1 I can do it again...it might actually b easier this time as I will officially b in my own instead of having a man there on paper but nothing else xx

Am seperated with a 5 year old ...a 7 months old and now this new blessing same father for all my kids married for 7 years but he was physically abusive to me b4 getting this bfp moved out same noght have my own place he is involved with his kids and this baby but not me .....still taking my sweet time he wants me back but guessing am not going to forgive him for that incident so alone too but happy and blessed and ready for whatever the struggle my babies keep me strong and they are truly all i need ...

Newborn

Your baby spends much of her first week becoming accustomed to her new surroundings. After nine months inside your uterus, so much space, light and noise are very new to her. Your newborn's vision is pretty blurry at this stage. Read More

1 week old

Your newborn's still adjusting to his new world, which he may find a bit too noisy and well-lit at the moment. You'll notice his limbs move in a jerky, uncoordinated way. Soon, his movements will become more fluid. Read More

2 week old

Reflexes like sucking and blinking continue to be important this week. At times your baby may catch your gaze and look at you but she'll be quick about it. You should look back and smile broadly, while nodding your head. Read More

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