my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 16 the girls are 15)

and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz

so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."

So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared.

then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.

i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me.

I'm still laughing about this... I was really reading it and somewhat believing it until you said you gave her two n64 games. Don't we all wish it was that easy. Nowadays, they all want 2 PS3 games and a bluray disc. That adds up.

That was hilarious. I think the proper thing to do in this situation is to give her a tranquilizer shot, clean her body from any evidences that indicate you, and leave her in her bed - then if she ever mentions it act like she's bonkers and dreamed the whole thing and the dream was so real that she burned her cooter with her brain.

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