You get into a fight, first thing
you do is whang yourself over the head
with a fryin' pan or somethin'.
Usually, your opponent will then run
away, figgerin' that if you was willing to
do that to yourself, then what
was you fixin' to do to him!.

Some people, like me, are born
idiots, but many more become stupider
as they go along.

Your chances of winnin' the lottery
get a lot better if you buy a ticket.

If you don't know where you are
goin', you will probably not wind up there.

Nobody ever went broke sayin'
"good mornin'" to folks.

It is one thing to talk bullshit;
it is another to believe it.

Always be able to look back and say
"At least I didn't lead no humdrum life."