Doug Stanhope talks the Holocaust, US politics and #piggate

With a UK tour underway, GQ caught up with acerbic US comedian Doug Stanhope. Famously bleak, he's worked with Charlie Brooker on the BBC and you can catch his specials on Netflix. We wanted to find out what he makes of current stories in US and UK politics, and how he's finding this tour.

With a UK tour underway, GQ caught up with acerbic US comedian Doug Stanhope. Famously bleak, he's worked with Charlie Brooker on the BBC and you can catch his specials on

Netflix. We wanted to find out what he makes of current stories in US and UK politics, and how he's finding this tour.

GQ: what's the tone of the show?

Doug Stanhope: Same as it's been for the last twenty five years: ugly and dark. There's no theme to it. I know that's a big UK thing to have a themed show, like a play, but I have no theme necessarily.

How was your tour of Scotland?

Scotland was fucking crazy. Glasgow we did two nights, the first night there were five separate fist fights and nine ejections, and it was still the best crowd on the tour. Full-on second row fighting the third row after one of them suggested they talk a little less loudly or get a poke in the eye... it turned into a full-on brawl ten minutes into the show. You just have to sit back and start commentating like Joe Rogan at UFC. Everyone around the people, like there's a brawl, and audience directly adjacent are still paying attention to the show. Fucking crazy.

Do you come to London much?

I haven't been to the UK in three years, which is about as often as you need to. Most of the material I write doesn't translate over here. So every three years you have plenty of shit they haven't heard and you don't have to be scrambling for an act.

What's the worst thing about coming to the UK?

Er... condiments. You don't have proper condiments, but I travel with them. You don't have A1 Sauce. Eating is all about condiments.

You recently bought a gun. US Republican presidential hopeful Ben Carson has sparked controversy after suggesting the Holocaust could've been prevented by Jews having guns. Do you think Ben Carson has a point?

I bought a pellet pistol because I was living in a trailer out in the back lot of my property for thirty days, trying to quit smoking in a self lock up, and I thought that if I had to go out and piss and there were javelina out there I scare them off with a pellet gun. Then I heard scratching at the trailer door and it was my cat who managed to open the door and almost get shot between the eyes with a pellet.

Having experienced pellet pistol ownership, do you think Carson's right to say that the likelihood of the holocaust could've been diminished if the Jews had owned firearms?

That's a question way too lofty for a brain that's soaked with booze. I have no... It couldn't have hurt.

You've said one of the problems with American democracy is that only the old folks vote, and I wonder if that's what's responsible for people like Donald Trump being so popular?

He's popular 'cause he's entertaining. And young people still aren't going to vote. There's no way he's going to be president, but it makes it fun to watch.

Who do you think is likely to win?

I don't have the slightest idea, but it's not going to be him. I don't think he wants to be president. He's a fucking megalomaniac, he doesn't actually want to do the job.

Do you think people still hate Clinton?

I really have no opinion on Hillary Clinton or any of it. It's all become boring. The closer you get to death... it matters just as much as football matters to me. I root for underdogs, and my team is probably not going to win. If they did, I'd still be the same fucking bitter old fuck the next day, because it doesn't affect my life. It literally is like sports to me, and people like Donald Trump make it interesting, but when you start talking about the Yankees or the Red Soxs I could give a shit. You could make that Man Utd and Chelsea if you like, or Man City I guess... more appropriate.

You once said "life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone." I don't know if you do research ahead of your tour, but have you heard the rumours about our Prime Minister?

About him sticking his dick in a pig's mouth?

Yeah...

Yeah, so what? Everyone does goofy shit when they're kids.

What's the goofiest -

I picked up a fucking dead squirrel and I threw it in the freezer at Cumberland Farms convenience store once just to be a dick.

But you're not running for office...

But the point is, who doesn't? The fact that you want completely benign people that are not like anyone else to be leaders... how can they have empathy if they haven't done stupid shit in their lives?

Even when George [W] Bush was getting shit for having a DUI... you want people who are like you don't you?

If you just said "Hezbollah" then I'm lost. I don't know shit about Hezbollah. People a lot of times mistake me for being more intelligent than I am. Anything I say in my show is the depth of my knowledge on the subject, enough to make it funny. I don't know fucking Hezbollah. I know it's some Middle East shit that doesn't affect my day.

What's the best thing about coming to the UK?

This is the first time I've enjoyed myself over here. It's the first time I've come in the fall, and if it is shitty weather you expect that in October. The crowds are fantastic, and other than that I just stay in my room. I don't go out, I don't have any interests. Everything is bland and dull, and there's no sense of personal space. I'm accustomed to quite a bit of it where I live in the desert, and I live away from people for a reason, but the crowds are fantastic. I almost feel famous over here.

We think you are.

If only within 100 feet of my show on the night of the show, yeah!

GQ met Doug Stanhope at the O2 Academy in Brixton on Sunday before performing shows in Bath, Sheffield and Manchester. Get full details of Doug Stanhope's UK tour