so that's what goes on in your head

What Happens Now?

Growth is a funny thing, isn’t it? And I’m not talking about it in the physical sense (although it’s not too funny when it comes to waist size growing), but rather the mentality that we have when we see ourselves progressively get better.

Something that always strikes me is when my thoughts drift to times when I feel that I am outgrowing people. As a college student, it’s so easy for that to happen. There are mainly two types of people in college from my perspective: the people who intend to make college about the party lifestyle and the people who are constantly worried about what comes after college.

Could you guess which category I would fall under?

If you guessed the latter, then I guess the five blog posts I’ve already posted has uptight written all over it.

Truth be told, I am terrified of what is happening. Constant questions that always surround me include “What can I do to make my resume better?” “What happens after this?” and the ever common question among college students across the nation:”Will I ever pay off my student loans?”

However, I don’t want to be stuck in the uncertainty stage later in my life, wondering if I did everything I wanted to before settling down. And sometimes that’s what my roommates are constantly telling me. Let loose. Don’t worry. Live a little.

I can’t help but think that I’m too old for this. Too worried about my future and too invested in myself to let loose. Now if you’re rolling your eyes at me, trust me, so am I. Because what possibly can a 19-year-old college student be so worried about? The constant pressure to party and then the overwhelming stress to get ahead for school is like an uncontrollable car crash happening right before my eyes. They don’t go together.

I think I’ve outgrown my peers, and I have to accept it. If they challenge my decision to focus on my future, then perhaps they aren’t the people I should be around anyway.