27 January 2011

Jesus is here! I know that sounds so well dumb, but in truth don't we see Jesus as some sort of superhero? I know you are wondering...what on earth is she thinking now? To be honest, I'm not sure...I was sitting here at my desk...at work (Yes I really do work) thinking about my friend Cyndi and her daughter & the question that her precious daughter caused Cyndi to pose...how do we show or teach our children that God does answer prayer.

So as my mind began to ponder this ageless question that I know all of us have had a time or two, I began to think about how we view God and how we perceive Jesus. Do we primarily view Jesus as a "Genie in a Bottle"? Do we look at him as some sort of "Fix It All Handyman"? If this is your view of Jesus, then I will challenge you to look at Him again.

Jesus did not come to earth, God in the flesh, to "fix" us or to "grant us" our "wishes". NO! Jesus came so that we would finally know and realize that God loves us! His creation that is so imperfect and flawed...He still loves us and really wants the best for us. It's like being a kid in a candy store...follow me here...

You are 8 years old, it's your birthday and your parents take you to the candy shop to pick out a special treat. You walk into the most delicious smelling store on the block. You have dreamed of this day. As you walk in...you mouth begins to water and your desire overtakes you and before you know it the "I have to haves" take over. As your parents have told you time and again to not eat too much, you begin to overfill your bag. Now...your mom comes over and reminds you that it is not good for you to have all these treats at once...too much will make you sick. The "rejection" stings and you begin to cry. You want what you want & after all didn't your parents "promise" to give you a special treat? As you begin to throw a tantrum in the middle of the store you realize that your bag of candy has busted open and is now all over the floor. You begin to cry more and now all feels lost. So much for your present! So much for mommy and daddy giving you what you asked for! You are devastated and so you decide that you want nothing from the candy store, because, after all, you aren't getting what you want anyways.

Now here it is a week later and you are beginning to feel bad because you think that you have ruined it all. No candy, no more special things from mommy and daddy, you just feel terrible. Without knowing why, really, you go and talk with your parents. You begin to tell them how bad you feel about your birthday, how you acted in the candy store and how it has just made you so sad inside. After a moment... your mommy and daddy smile at you - their faces just glowing! You realize that it doesn't matter how bad it may seem, they love you. They will always love you. Even though you didn't get what you wanted, you feel better knowing that they love you despite it all.

In that moment of understanding, your mommy and daddy lean towards you and give you hugs and kisses...and a bag. What's this? A bag? For me? Why, what is it? You open the bag and inside is a special treat...just for you...the candy that you wanted and now it's even better because your parents picked it out especially for you.

So how is it that we don't recognize God's answers to us? I believe it is because we are looking for something that is not ours to have. Wait upon the Lord and He will provide for all your needs and for some of your wants too.

I hope that this will help anyone who is struggling with this age old question.

20 January 2011

nothing seems to be my current state of affairs. Yesterday as I was running all over town I realized one thing(it hit me like a ton of bricks) I seem to always be waiting. Even in the midst of running errands, I came to the understanding that even when I was done I'd still be waiting before the conclusion. This is what I mean.

I had to go get poster board for my son's project. I picked up the wrong type so I have to go back and get the right stuff. So he is waiting on me to finish his project for school. I went to the hospital (finally) to get Nichole's medical records from her accident. I should have done that 3 weeks ago. Now I have found out that I still have to fax over a sheet to be filled out before I send all the paperwork to the insurance company. Then I'll be waiting on them to respond. It's all doing just to wait. Funny.

So in response to this...the Holy Spirit directed me to the understanding that we are to wait...we are always waiting. And what are we suppose to do while waiting. We are suppose to watch for His return and we are to be Praising God while we wait. Whether we are waiting for an answer, a resolution, an end to a situation or the start of something new in our life...we are always waiting. Waiting, I do believe, is a good thing. It brings about an understanding that it is all in God's timing and not our own.

There are many scripture references about waiting. One of my favorites is James 5:7, "Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains."

So with this new found insight (or reminder) I will wait upon the Lord to provide for me what it is that He has in store for me.

19 January 2011

interesting. Today I am helping Bart with blogging. It's so very new to him & he is really unsure of what to do. I am encouraged by the fact that he wants to try & I do believe that it will really help if you encourage him.

In other news...today is another hectic fun filled day. I'm looking forward to getting some loose ends tied up. Like the whole insurance deal. I'll be glad when all this mess is behind me. I'm glad it's almost over. I'll also be very happy when we decide what we are going to do for another vehicle. All in due time, as it is said.

I am really looking forward to see where God is taking me next & I am looking forward to the ride. Well until next time...

14 January 2011

my job & my life. You know I remember dreaming of working in music ever since I can remember - to be living my dream is so amazing to me. My prayer is to always be a part of music in one way or another & that I will continue to grow in my profession and to be obedient to God's calling on my life.

I know that my circumstances look bleak right now, but really...I know that I'm not alone & that my "circumstances" do define who I am in Jesus. I am just amazed by it all.

is going on, so I won't bore you with too many details. So to update on the car...it's not going good. We are trying to sell it for $350 for scraps, but so far the highest offer is $200. The car (even as scrap) is worth more that that! So we are trying to hold off.

Nichole's insurance paperwork is still not done...that is my fault. I need to get up to the hospital to get what I need from them. I hope that everything works out and it's not too late. I feel terrible for the whole procrastination on my behalf, but there really is only so much one can do in a day...especially with only 1 car.

We have found a car - for $3000.00. It's a Volvo. I like Volvo's...we'll see if it's what we'll get. I need the money first & that always seems to be an issue. Too many needs not enough resources. I'm praying for a breakthrough and wisdom.

We are also trying to sell our double bunk bed & twin size day bed...any takers? Both are on "Craig's List"...but that is not working out so good either. I may just break down and go Old School & put them in the paper.

Work is going very well. Working with 3 businesses right now that are interested in partnering in ministry with us. I pray that they all commit. Maybe that is part of the breakthrough. We'll see where God takes it. I also feel like I'm becoming a better DJ. It's always so hard to determine since the profession is live & opinion. I would like to think that people are enjoying the morning show, but w/o listener feedback it's a tough call. Industry leaders are giving air checks and are giving great recommendations, so we'll see how that goes as we continue to improve.

So to wrap up this blog...today I'm being interviewed for Paisley Magazine! My first interview & I'm very nervous & excited! I hope that all goes well and that I don't talk too much...hahahaha. Well that's it for now...time to get back to work. More to come.

11 January 2011

really effect how you feel? I often wonder. It's a very cold, cloudy, drizzly day outside & as much as I love being at work, I wish I were at home snuggled up in the bed with my kids (they have today & tomorrow off from school). The nice thing is that I have a short day at work - because with having one car, I have to get home so my husband can go to work. So I will get to put on some pj's maybe some fun music, bake cookies & hang w/ my babies for the rest of the day.

It is my day to go to the gym. I won't be doing that until around 8pm tonight, but that is ok with me. I will go...Mike & I have made an agreement...we go every other day. Not easy, but a commitment is a commitment. That reminds me a lot of marriage...

I know that is a leap, but think about it. Marriage is a commitment to the one you marry. No one said that marriage was easy, but it a life long "I Do". Why do so many give up when they hit a bump in the road? For that matter, why do so many "Christians" give up on God when they hit a bump in the road? There is so much to learn about marriage and of faith when it comes to the hard facts of life. I know that many MANY people want to have an "easy life" with "no problems", but the truth of the matter is...life is full of problems. There is a complication every day...EVERY DAY!

God is at work on me & I do believe that it will make me a better person in the end, but right now it's not easy. To realize my short comings, my faults & know that HE will use them and HE will be strong in my weakness is a scary place to be. It's not easy...of course nothing is & when you make a commitment then you must follow through. I love the saying, "If He brings you to it, He'll get you through it.", so that is my battle cry. I have been very convicted on 2 fronts and I know that is what I'm going to be working on for 2011. My physical condition and my marriage condition. Both are commitments & both are worth it.

I know this started out with the weather, but really...even when I feel cold and dead, I know that God is at work...just like the winter...we cannot have spring (life) without winter (death). Thanks for reading & please leave any comments.

05 January 2011

a writer. Sometimes I wish I was...like a novelist or something, but I'm not...I blog. Is there value in blogging? I'm not sure, but for me it is very therapeutic. Today I feel like there is so much to write about, but then again...I don't feel like there is enough to write about. I guess that is part of being melancholy.

I finished reading "Blue Like Jazz" last night. That book really spoke to me. To my spirit. I really understood where Don was going the whole time & I kept thinking to myself...I'm not alone...there are others who are like me...write randomly, have a true desire to speak the truth and to really just want to spend time listening to people and getting to know them...the true them. It was very refreshing.

So when I was finished reading the book...I was really pondering where I am in life and if I am really making a difference, for Jesus, for the world, for His Kingdom. Then this morning I just prayed that Jesus would give me an understanding about the people around me. I know that I will never really understand the world around me, and I'm ok with that, but I would like to know that I am who I am suppose to be when I meet the people I meet. I want to always be honest and real...not just a character in a book.

So today for the first time in a long time...I felt real...I felt free. I knew in my heart that I am where I'm suppose to be and doing exactly what God has called me to do. That is a freeing feeling. I was in so much awe and wonder this morning as I was getting ready for the day and while I was at work. Today was a fun day at work & sometimes I wonder why I get paid for doing what I do...it's too much fun most of the time.

So here's the weird/cool part. Frank, my friend & co-worker, Jayme's husband, called this morning and asked if we were all going to be at the station this afternoon. We were so he was so excited...I was wondering what on earth was going on, and to be honest I thought maybe Jayme was leaving. That was not the case! At 2pm they showed up with a station van! The van was donated by a listener, it was partially wrapped by one of our underwriters, and another underwriter is in the process of securing new tires! What a gift & blessing. I am just in AWE and AMAZEMENT of God's Love for us! I want to love like that...I don't know if I ever will be able to, but that is my goal.

I want to love my husband that way, my children that way, my friends that way, and strangers that way. God calls us to LOVE one another...I often wonder why that is so hard. I also wonder why so many people try so hard to fake it. You know...you can always tell when someone is faking it...so stop faking it. Real love for another person can be felt in the soul. It's a connection. The only thing that God has shown me today is this...in order for me to love someone else, I must get my thoughts off of me and onto them.

I would like to say that I am a good decent person who really listens to others, but I'm not...I really do get wrapped up in what I want or what I should be doing instead of listening to what others need around me. My prayer is to be sensitive enough to here the silent cries of others around me.

03 January 2011

to start things off. To begin with, my family & I are a one car family. This should prove to be interesting, but Mike and I have resolved to making it work. I know we can. To be very honest...we cannot afford another car right now. So we will use are time more effectively to say the very least and do more as a family at the most.

My second thought is to continue to cut out the unimportant things in my life. I think that I make this my "resolution" every year, but I am very convicted to get it right this go round. I guess it would be more like prioritizing what is important. I would love to say that I read my Bible everyday, that I pray and spend time with God everyday, but the truth is...I don't. In my relationship with Jesus, I want to spend more time with Him and get to know Him better. I would love to tell you that I know him, but sometimes I think I don't know Him at all. How can I share Jesus with others if I don't even really know him? So my goal is to know him more, to know him better.

As I reflect on 2010 I realize that there was so much that I did not do, and I really did take my laziness to a whole new level. I am wanting to do better, be better and I pray that God will help me be the person that He has called me to be. I pray that as I go through this next year, no matter what may come of it, that I can continue to point to God and give Him all the glory no matter what direction my life may take. So here's to a new year.