I used to live life full of dreams
Planning, for many years to come.
Where I will be, when I will go,
A future that was filled with fun.
Till the day my life was shattered.
Till the day when the hammer struck.
All my dreams now torn asunder
Nowhere to hide, nowhere to duck.
I stood my battles, fought the fight
We gathered and said our goodbyes,
Yet through all of your brave faces,
I could still hear the silent cries.
Last Will and Testament written,
Everything important was said,
“I love you,” still that magic word,
I’d sleep in peace tucked in my bed.
Then something magical happened,
I came back from places of dread.
Now more a part of the living,
Each day I get stronger instead.
Now I know what’s most important
Enjoy precious moments each day,
Learned not to live for tomorrows
That just might not come anyway.
I enjoy each sip of coffee,
Watching leaves turn colours and fly,
Kisses from my sweet little dog,
Every time I see a blue sky.
The music of my Children’s voices,
Love of family never ends,
Carpe Diem, just seize the day,
That is my new motto my friends.
Written 10.25.2014
For Regina Riddle’s Contest
Seize the Moment (Carpe Diem)
5th
James 5:15
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.
Living for the moment makes everything more special.

I hear the October winds whispering and I think it knows,
as the witching hour arrives and a harvest moon glows,
only once a year, do we celebrate death on Halloween night,
it is a time for remembrance, and not a time for fright.
As dead leaves come to life, once more, somehow they know,
on the twisted claw-like branches, I see the excitement grow,
black bats take their flight and wise owls call out to you,
it seems strange, but I imagine that they all know, too.
I ask you now, my dearly departed ancestors, to arise,
come and dance with me, there is no need for disguise,
on this one dark, Halloween night, it is the only time,
when we can feel truly alive and so morbidly sublime.
Let me wipe away the ancient moss from your tombstone,
come forth with dust and decay, your shroud and bone,
feel the warm glow from this carved out jack o' lantern,
and watch his lit, grinning soul, may it flicker and burn.
You must still remember the candy corn's sweet flavor,
and those crisp apples, with juicy bite after bite to savor,
it is only on this night when we can taste this rare treat,
and it is only on this Halloween night when we can meet.
Tonight will not be your usual haunting among the graves,
or beneath the dead willow tree, weeping, shackled like slaves,
you are free to wander, to celebrate, and honor our past,
until the morning sun rises, on this Eve that will not last.
So come with me now and our spirits will live once more,
as we roam down our old streets, and visit door to door,
let us go, and lead them all in our mysterious nighttime parade,
where we can finally be ourselves, no need for a masquerade.

Things that seemed poetic were always sad,
though I yearned for sparkle
and my dad's guffaw, which never came.
Familiar things were always drear --
repeated motions in the same old game.
There were only distant glimpses
of budding spring, fleeting views
of daffodils. The strongest
poems dealt me death and dying.
Yet I always hoped, never went under
to gray despair, always dreaming
of a garden of love that we could share.
But those forbidden delights faded
quickly away; the only reality
I understand is the ever-looming
and final one. Nothing's changed.
The strongest poems deal death and dying.

On the day the Lord calls me home I will not be
afraid as I know He loves us one and all and to this
earth we are only on loan
We have spent all our lives here with family and
friends and so we leave this earth to go home to be
with our Lord and our family and friends who have
gone home to Heaven before us
And so our lives go full circle as the Lord sent us
down from Heaven to accomplish the things He wants
us to do here on earth and as we complete this we will
be called back home to heaven to live forevermore
I am not afraid as I patiently wait for my call to
enter the Kingdom Of Heaven where I will wait for my
family and friends to come home and be with our Lord
forevermore.
Poems Of Inspiration (OLD) Contest
Sponsor: P.D.
7th Place Winner

A million times I've needed you
A million times I've cried
If love alone could have saved you
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place
No one can ever fill
It broke my heart to lose you
But you did not go alone
A part of me went with you
The day GOD called you home
Your precious memory is my keepsake
With which I'll never part
GOD has you safely in HIS keeping
But I have you forever in my heart

Laying her back on the wall of her prison
Why was it different
It hurt more
Shocked more
Chest heavy
Grief affecting her
This terrible ache consuming every pore
Harder to swallow
It was him she's sure
She loons at me
I know the look
She's hiding behind the sofa
Saying he's been back banging on the door
I know it was the tumble dryer upstairs
Her eyes are bloodshot
A beautiful bright blue bloodshot
Wide as fish eyes
She's been pacing all night holding a knife
She's holding an umbrella
I took the knives last time she cut her wrists
She's in torn clothes as she tears at her flesh
I feel my flesh tear
That's her last nice dress
No longer nice but torn and red
I give her trousers and a belt
My own only just brought
They drown her
At least she's covered
She says he's been calling her all night on the phone
I took the phone when she smashed it on the wall
I try to think of everything
In the bathroom there's hair in the chipped shabby sink
She's been pulling it out by the roots
I feel my scalp it's sore, alien
I feel everything
I removed the scissors when she shredded her scalp cutting her hair off
Saying this is why he had her
Her long golden hair
My hair
Lithium pills
In the cabinet, too many
Too many pills
She should of taken these
She calms
I calm
Promising to take her pills, begging don't send me back to hell
But at the secure unit she's safe
I'm safe
Says she'll have a bath and
be better tomorrow
She's settled, I'm settled
So I leave
I'll come back in the morning
I sleep soundly
First night in months
The morning light gives me slight hope
I can't remember this feeling much
I hear a crash
I run
I'm taking too long
Kicking the door in
I thank God for kickboxing
She's swinging from the oak beam in the ceiling
My belt around her neck
Juddering
I look for a knife
I look for scissors
To cut her down
Cut me down
I look for a phone to call an ambulance
I feel my body juddering
My heart stop beating
The belt
The new belt
I hadn't thought about the belt

Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair
Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee
Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark
She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?
To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife
Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest
And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear
And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber
She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee

The warrior lays her weary head,
With heavy heart she cannot bear,
Burning tears stream down her face,
As whispered memories touch the ear.
Her armour tarnished by remorse,
Her battle-cry a wimpered row,
Her wounds, of which bleed solitude,
Will never know forgiveness now.
The song began two score ago,
When two came knocking at her door,
In need of refuge from the world,
Of that, and love, and little more.
Forced to fight for every smile,
Her only solace found in song,
She longed for love to rescue her,
And plant her where she could belong.
Jealous tongues are seldom kind,
Self-seeking hearts know nought of love,
The caged canary only sings,
When coaxed to praise from up above.
For the steely spine that now I own,
Forever shall I grateful be,
A gift from her, and from her own.
Courage mounted inwardly.
I'll not forget how I have loved thee,
And youthful memories I will prize,
Til on the shore of His forgiveness,
Whereto now, we both shall rise.

I remember all the nights we use to play,
but now I can't play anymore because your not here today.
Your here in my heart and that will never fade away.
Sometimes I would be a hard-headed child,
but in your eyes you saw an angle smile.
I love you like God love the family, unconditionally.
I remember your brown eyes, gray hair, for you were wise.
I also remember when you had to leave, so your soul could be free.
See, I'm older; more mature, and understand what's going
on, but back then I was only four.
I still remember that day like it was yesterday.
Well, you were buried that day and everyone had a sad face.
I remember that day very well indeed, as I looked at you
and pleaded that you wouldn't leave me.
Now you’re gone and I have to be strong for both
of us, so our love can live through people who love us.

Pain is all I feel in my life,
For example, like being cut with a knife.
Since I was born,
Pain is all that’s come to me.
I don’t understand,
So I ask just one question, Lord Why Me?
I’ve been hurt in many ways,
And no one cares they just want to get paid.
Why does money have to cause so much pain?
So much pain, that I cry more than it rains.
Pain is what my heart is mostly full of,
Cause no one cares, but the man above.

In an effort to immortalize you,
I gilded ocean size frames in gold leaf
and painted your portrait with peacock feathers dipped in oils.
I spelled out your name in bumble bee wings
still quite attached to tame bumble bees
hovering in obedience and formation in the sky
I built a piano from felled red wood trees
and carved your likeness on each key
which I then filled up with ebony and abalone polish
I traveled to Old Russia to the Crimean forest
and pulled every wildflower up by it's roots
and replanted them just for you, on the cliffs, overlooking the Black Sea.
I tamed a black leopard and rode on her back
'round the world, with a banner, a list of your accomplishments
flowing in silk for miles behind me, past onlookers reading your life.
I sang gypsy music, as a siren on the wind
while I wept and flooded each street with the depth
of one tenth of the emotion you harnessed and kept at bay in your infinite quiet.
I started with one person, your granddaughter, with your blue eyes
her sitting on my lap, looking at me with a maturity past 3 years of age,
and imprinted every memory of you in the air, for her to grab.
You are not immortalized in portraits, or wings, or notes.
You are not immortalized in flowers, or banners or sirens.
You are immortalized, forever remaining, in the humble prayers of this innocent child.

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013
I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over
Taught me to fight back
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over
He gave me my stubbornness
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over
How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over
Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on
I may stumble I may fall
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over
Sabrina Niday Hansel
______________________________________________________________________
Placed 1st in "Unsung Hero" 7/2014 contest
Also 3rd. in "Portrait of a Poet" 1/2014

To be called ..
~ Grandma is a Honor ~
I have been blessed with 4 Grandchildren
~ one lays in Heaven " Kaleb " He is God's Angel ~
~ His twin brother he will always watch over , and be in his soul~
For he loved his Brother so much in the womb ,
he chose Heaven which gave life to his twin
~ I feel his spirit when I see the other Grandson ~
Time passed another gift to see
we are " Mickes" and Loved
Our Dad held the title in Baseball
~ that's how we roll ~
those children are Grandmas hero's
The Irish they love big and Family is everything
The brothers will protect the beautiful sister
~ as many lads will be calling ~
Every time my Grandson hits a home run
There will be a Angel watching proudly in the stand
It will be as if the Angel lifted him when he runs
~no one runs faster then my Grandson~
either baseball or Art ~ you shall find your gift given
These children have been blessed~
~ a beauty to hard to describe
If you think not ~~ Take a look at the Mom
That girl can stop Traffic
after raising three and still~
"Inspired by the gift and loss of Grandchildren "
May our precious " Kaleb " softly rest where Angels only Dwell

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here
I can’t get back in control of my emotions
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy
I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help
Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help

I suck at dying poems
Chemo poems, Metastatic Cancer poems,
Hair falling out in the shower poems
And I told a half truth
When I told you I could write you one
In less than six months (It's been eight)
I apologize for being so late
I wanted your poem to be pink and graceful
Like those ribbons
I see all over the internet
Filled with cheesy generic rhymes
That read like a Hallmark audition
But already my metaphors are melting
And my similes are getting soft
I guarantee you the rhyme meter will be off
When I went to Google
And the typed in the word 'happy'
Three billion links came up
Not a single inference to
Breast cancer, hair loss
No redirects to mastectomies
Yahoo wasn't any kinder
The only thing research could teach me
Is that a good day on chemo
Is when your stool doesn't come out tar Black
And has no blood in it
Or when your urine
Smells better on Wednesday
Than it did on Tuesday
Sleeping less than 12 hours
When 24 would be better
America has more poets
Than it does alcoholics
And Pot smokers combined
And you chose me to be
Your Breast Cancer
Poet Laureate
Trusting me to write a poem
About the biggest battle in your life
So I refuse to finish this poem
Without something bright and hopeful
And don't think
I didn't notice your Facebook activity
Had decreased by 88%
In the last three months
And you aren't really
Coming to any more of my poetry shows
Ever again. Are you??
But we still have March, April
Don't we?
But even if you had one breast
Or no breast
Or if you had less hair than I do
I promise to look only in your eyes
And never ever even notice
Or even think about it
And never for a moment
Would I feel sorry for you
Yes I suck at lying too...
But I don't suck at loving you
Or at hoping you wake up tomorrow morning
With no Cancer at all
And that The Eiffel Tower will be right outside
Your bedroom window...
And I would be right there with you
Holding your hand while we look down on Paris
And you can impress me with your French again
And if I ever make it
To the Pulitzer Poetry board
I might lose a thousand points
Just for this poem alone
And my hopes for the prize will be smitten
And some old person
With white hair will say
That was the worst love poem ever written

The 18th of December was her last day;
she neither knew the date nor cared to.
Gathered at the hospital, keeping vigil,
we couldn't overcome her fright, or ours.
The pain, too great to be driven away,
was only "managed" with IV drips,
needles stuck in bruised appendages --
bony things -- arms and legs, hands and feet.
Above the medicines and washes, we sniffed
her scent, which, more than her yet familiar
face, to us identified our mother --
a smell we never would mistake
for any other. It went quickly
as her body cooled. The rouged and pickled
carcass they displayed was more a statue
than a person. We planned to bury her
with homely tokens, like an ancient mummy:
a family photo, a brooch she liked,
a pink hairbrush, and the brass bell she rang
to call her keeper during her last years.
But, when the time came, I could not bear
to see her leave so finally;
I took the bell from her metal box.
And, now, I ring it -- not to bring a keeper,
but to recall my mother on her birthday,
and on many dark days when I need her.

Hearing your heartbeat my ear on your chest
moments like that I loved best
For every heartbeat was special to me
'cause it meant my dad I still get to see
Then I went to bed that night
peacefully next door you were sleeping tight
I never feared lying in that dark room
knowing it will take only one shout and you'll be there soon
Waking up the next day, getting out of bed
I got done for work and that morning not much were said
I remember your words the previous night
"Leave her just now she'll be alright"
A worried mom kept asking what is wrong
'Cause she didn't understand why i looked so down
Off to the doctor you went that day
and in hospital you had to stay
I prayed to God "please just let him be okay"
Hours have passed and your words got less
I told myself that you'll be fine after a couple of days of rest
I never prayed so hard
asking Him "please please just help him God"
I never stopped hoping and believing
That soon with my ear on your chest i will still hear you breathing
Seven days have passed, not a word from you
Imagining you waking up saying "I'm fine how are you?"
In the ICU lying with my ear on your chest
This time only small little breathes
I felt safe so close to your heart
That fatherly love my favorite part
Your words that previous Thursday night
"Leave her just now she'll be alright"
I never knew those words would be your last
'Cause a week after those words... Daddy, you've passed
Lying with my ear on your chest
The moments I used to love best
My world came crashing down
and that moment was never the same
'Cause that moment I realized that MY father's heart will never beat again

I was as high as the eyes could see
A giant dark cloud of pure misery
I seemed to roll as one with the wind
A giant black wall that had no end
I stripped the land and left it bare
Of the lives I destroyed, I didn’t care
Those who stayed I covered in dust
As their children died I broke their trust
From my hell many families did flee
Left to wander homeless in misery
I changed the word these words are true
Black Sunday brought darkness on you
I didn't see any direct link but just goggle
pictures of the dust bowl and you will see
what i have written for Brian's Contest.
The Dust Bowl - Alexandre Hogue - 1937

You've portrayed the lives of many
A soldier, a son, a dad, and the enemy
Who I ask, shall portray your life
In a story to reveal your demise
The Big Screen carries your legacy
Your family keeps quite a memory
Her Daddy she can always see
By watching his movies on T.V.
Such a talent you beheld
Quite a story to be a tale
"Why so serious?" as Joker will say
One of the favorite roles you play
Far to young, to go away
May you rest in peace where you lay
A knight in shining armour you'll be
When again your face, your family will see.
for Chriss Matt's contest: Gone too soon***
hope you enjoy...LOVE Miranda Lambert, A.K.A *Randa*

Strange shadows on these coral walls
stay hidden from the setting sun,
yet creeping through the shafts of amber light
drag behind them to the high parapet
a cloak of utter darkness.
Fierce defended, now are none:
no frightened men to urge the heavy cannon round
no shrill alarm or battle cries;
the end of this, as every other day has sealed
a silence now complete.
Once we held here, on this foreign shore,
the fortress of our childhood dreams
and all the world’s assaults
seemed nothing then;
an ocean breeze would cool the hurt of falling
and bring sweet scents to pick us up again.
Across the bay the dhows set sail upon a rising tide
their canvass spread against the purple sky.
We watched their leaving long ago
but you are gone away now, gone to sleep
and no injured soul so left alone
can wait to watch them home again.
Yet I will stand, a little or a while,
and will not fear cold shadows rising
nor while breathing yield the fort to them;
in every breach I meet your laughing eyes
and feel the warming of remembered suns.

Clinging to his pillow
Wondering
Would he ever lie beside me again
Praying
Miraculous recoveries can come to pass
Hoping
Finally sleeping, albeit brief
Succumbing
Bright light filled the room
Glowing
In the mid of night she sat before me
Comforting
Clad in the pink dress I’d bought for her burial
Speaking
“Mother, I miss you and now my husband
Dying…”
“Dear daughter, I’m watching over you
You coped when I died; you’ll survive this too
You’re not alone, I’ll make sure you get through
Just remember I’m always here for you”
Just five a.m., but the phone
Ringing
Alone, the vision gone,
Hearing
“We’re sorry, but John passed in the night”
Weeping
But feeling mom’s presence still
Encouraging
Made a move to another state
Struggling
Years passed, more obstacles, a fiancé drowned
Yearning
Tossing, turning and finally
Seeing
In the mid of night John sat before me
Comforting
“My darling, I’m watching over you
You coped when I died; you’ll survive this too
You’re not alone, I’ll make sure you get through
Just remember I’m always here for you”
Were these dreams or spiritual apparitions?
When trying to survive under adverse conditions
I feel no desire to seek “rational” explanations
*For PD's "Dreams" contest

I was beaten
With a belt or a hand
Time after time
When I supposedly did wrong
They never warned
Just did
They don't care
So why should I
This is my life story
And I've chosen
Chosen the dark road
They always pushed me
Told me to do my best
But my best was never goo enough
They beat
They yelled
But not once did they ever think
That it would effect me
From 1-13 I have no recollection of happiness
There's a gap of where my memories should be
This is my life story
Cut short

O beloved mother, o beloved sisters
departed from me, within years
of each other, to sadden my living;
I spend my days weeping...
reminiscing in my sorrow:
how we laughed together,
and faced another serene tomorrow,
knowing that sharing kindness
would bond our destinies
in ways so devoted and immense!
O beloved mother, o beloved sisters...
I let the unconsumed joy of memories
take me to those yesterdays
to thank God for our existence,
when we enjoyed the gifts He offered;
yes, even the smallest of them
were so lovely and precious!
And by watching how you faced death,
I admired how you became the bravest...
slowly letting go of what you possessed!
O beloved mother, o beloved sisters...
do you want me to continue crying,
or smile and console you with a future promise:
that soon we'll embrace one another
under the joyful eyes of our Creator?
Nothing foolish I will do to harm myself;
and wait I will 'till my end comes,
but until then my solemn prayers I'll recite
amid tombstones guarded by triumphant angels...
and bound for Heaven, I'll be smiling!

Mountains crumble no more to be
Oceans of woe since you left me
Thunder rolls and my heart it breaks
Humbly life ends, my soul it quakes
Everlasting grief with no mend
Reminds me daily, it will not bend
Inconceivable, this pain I bear
My love's not gone, together we'll share
In lasting glory at Jesus' feet
Serenity and grace, oh how sweet
Salvation unites on heaven's shore
Yesterday's gone, tomorrow brings more
Only a moment in time we wait
Until we meet at heaven's gate

Glenn Turner and Randall "Randy" Thompson were the best police officer and volunteer firefighter in all of Cobb County, Georgia, until March 1995 (WWF Monday Night Raw and WWF Wrestle-Mania XI) and January 2001 (Raw Is War, WWF SmackDown!, and the WWF Royal Rumble) when their lives were taken away from their loving families by Julia Lynn Womack: aka the "Black Poisoning Widow." It seems that it was these two guys in uniform who married the same woman, especially when she was after their money, totaling hundreds and thousands of dollars, even in life insurance. Glenn and Randy have been killed by a deadly liquid by the form of Etheline Glycol rich antifreeze; Lynn Turner used it to spike that of lime-flavored gelatin (green Jell-O), sweet iced tea, and chicken noodle soup. Now, how cold-blooded was that? But to be honest, Maurice G. Turner and Randy Thompson, God rest their souls, really never should've met this gold digging assassin named Julia Lynn Womack (who's now dead) to begin with. Their families, their colleagues, and the citizens of Cobb County, Georgia, they still don't understand why the lives of these two men have to end in a tragic manner. They've got a bunch of whole lives ahead of them. But now that Lynn Turner, who killed both her police officer husband and her firefighter boyfriend, is dead, she can't hurt anyone else ever again. Randall and Glenn are no longer with their friends and families (including their moms), but their spirits will live on forever and they'll see their loved ones in heaven one day. And as for Julia Lynn Womack-Turner, she got what was coming to her and may she burn in the giant pit of inferno for all eternity.

Sore to the bone
Running on a drop of energy
Just gotta push through
I'll rest eventually
My shoulder has gone numb
But my body feels her weight
As if she's gotten heavy
Since her unconscious state
If I could, I'd stop right now
But who knows how safe it is here
And if I could even start again
I may fall asleep I fear
Soon my body will give up
But I'll make it as far as I can
And hopefully haven isn't too far
And I can put her in helping hands
Walking all day and night
It's hard not to think on past
And any thought I come up with
Has me struggling to hold sobs back
I've kept my ears open
Trying to focus on only sounds
But all I keep on hearing
Is my shoes crunch on foreign grounds
Bang. I hear it softly.
So far but still so near.
Bang. Another gunshot sounds
And I've collapsed in fear.
I close my eyes but another goes off
This time in a memory
And now I'm filled with rage
At how repulsive humans can be
My thoughts turn to my baby
Slipping off of my shoulder
I set her down and examine her
Bloodstained gown and skin colder
My worst nightmare but it can't be true
I listen in for her sweet breath
No. No No. No No. No No.
What's this silence? This isn't death.
This time I don't close my eyes
I see a sight that makes me sob
Memory of the last I saw my wife
And now my baby's with her mom.
Each one of us left covered in crimson
By a monster, a gunshot, a blow
Their death is the death of me.
This is as far as I can go.
May 2010
Inspired by Morris Gleitzman's novel "Once," a historical fiction about a boy in Poland
during the Holocaust.

This is about a man whose name is Jesse
Born In Kansas and raised in Missouri
Was called to fight for his beloved country
And assigned to defend an outlying territory
Jesse fought as hard as any American would
For freedom and democracy he did everything he could
For Uncle Sam, even in danger steadfast he stood
Believing in his heart that everything will turn out good
He was with the Death March in Bataan
But he was helped to escape by his special someone
Josie was the name of this special woman
Who walked along with the March since it began
It was in the territory that he met Josie
A woman whose dad was from Cincinnati
The two fell in love cause they had chemistry
They had their first child in nineteen forty three
In forty four he was again captured by the Japanese
He was already sick cause he caught a disease
Was taken to a prison camp and placed under lock and keys
In the end the harsh conditions led to his demise
Josie tried to look for his grave but failed
She couldn't do anything and in sadness she wailed
There were reports that he died in the hell ship as it sailed
But to get proof to the true cause of his death we have failed
Jesse died in January of nineteen forty five
Stories about him that Josie told kept him alive
In the heart of his descendants his memories survive
Love for him in their hearts continues to thrive
But every time I go to bed and close my eyes
I see his face and think of the truth that I despise
My whole body stiffens and I get as cold as ice
Sadly thinking that still, in an unknown grave he lies
NOTE
(For my grandfather US Army 2nd Lt. Jesse C. Boak of the 33rd Infantry
Regiment, who was declared MIA in WWII. His body was never found and true
cause of his death was never known.His name is listed in the Tablets of the
Missing at the Manila American Cemetery and on a Memorial Monument at the
State of Missouri
Grandpa even though I never got the chance to really know you I will always be
proud of you-JEB)
JESSE C. BOAK
2nd Lt. US Army
1917-1945
Awards: Silver Star, Bronze Star, Purple Heart with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters

Gazing, at its own reflection is the Magpie.
A magic bird, a mystical creature, with a soul
and the power to see things, the power of scrying.
It sees a tomb in ancient Egypt. It sees death.
A soul locked within a glorious bronze mirror,
Cleopatra and her Maid in a bond unbroken.
Time passes in silence as deep as the unbroken
promise of endless wisdom, gifted by the Magpie.
whose caws the Maid hears, within the depths of the mirror,
calls to the Queen, her Cleopatra, to her soul.
Magpie speaks to She on the Eastern Barge in the afterlife of death,
and to her Maid entombed. The sacred bird so near scrys.
The Magpie sits within oasis staring into the pool. It scrys
for all this time, its vigil, its protection, never broken.
Even when the sarcophagus is carried to the necropolis of the dead,
without, unknown, the bird speaks wisely through reflection, her Magpie.
Entombed, his Queen and her Maid, their bodies but not their souls,
Queen, Maid and Magpie, each cast a last gaze, alive within the mirror.
The Vows of Innocence, the Maid bespeaks the mirror.
Pleas to the Swallower of Shades, both Queen and Maid have scried
to The Burning One, and claim no lie, upon their soul.
As the light dims within the Maids eyes, in tomb unbroken,
she sees the life of her Queen and their Magpie
pass fast upon the brass, last breath of life and dying.
Oh, too soon the end, moans the Maid, I am dying.
Her life's reflection moves bronzed upon the mirror.
She screams, "My Queen," but hears only the caw of Magpie.
All around her other servants succumb and cry, whilst she sits scrying,
and the Magpie flies above in life entombed, eternity, unbroken.
As she beseeches all the Gods to save her soul.
The Magpie's spirit self moves within the mirror's soul.
He swoops gathering Cleopatra's essence, past the dying,
and brings her to the Maids side unbroken.
In afterlife upon the Eastern Barge they join the mirrored
whole, for he, the bird of magic, Magpie, has called and scried
it so. Part light of life, part dark of death, the Magpie.
The essence of each entwine united within this eternal mirror
for the Magpie cannot bear their deaths. He will protect and forever scry
in life the mirror sits unbroken a stolen bauble, and in it they dwell with the Magpie.

When I think of the plight that children face all over the world
I just want to cry
Hunger starts and ends their everyday
As many of us continue to waste away
The scraps that we toss could save a child’s life
I’ll tell you the human race is nothing nice
We have no problem spending trillions on war
As children starve to death outside a millionaires store
They put locks on the dumpsters to keep them out
To greedy to give what they are throwing out
I watched a show just the other day
That showed Children just wasting away
Right there in their mothers arms
As I ate my giant bowl of lucky charms
Pirates raiding off the Somalia Coast
Because their children’s eyes are hollow as a ghost
If my Children were starving these words are true
Captain Hook wouldn’t hold a light to you know who
I think in the overhaul scheme of wrong and right
Mankind in general has lost all sight
Could you imagine kissing your child’s last breath?
The rich get richer as they starve to death
So as you all tuck your kids into bed tonight
Kids all over the world will lose their fight
They will simply lie down and die
To hungry to fight to weak to cry
Shelters that feed the Hungry are in every
town, when was the last time that you gave
something. No person is any greater than the
depth of their compassion. To give is to receive
for there is no greater blessing in this life. Keep
what you need and give the rest and the Lord will
make sure you never run out. God Bless, MJ
Written for Sami's contest

Stomp, stomp, stomp,
Scream, scream, scream,
Before the stomp, stomp, stomps,
He, she, they screamed screamed,
And screamed, at I,
Scream at I which the thoughts,
Of comeback come near, near, and nearer,
Stomp, stomp, stomp,
I hear the stomps, they come closer,
And closer and closer,
Stomp, stomp, stomp
My heart beating faster, faster, faster!
The room, spinning, spinning, spinning!
Times going, gone, gone!
Stomps coming closer, faster!
The screams getting louder, louder!
Stomp, scream, stomp!
Nothings more worse than when you see the,
He, she, they behind the stomping of the stomps,
The screaming, of the screams,
The fire, hell, saddened in the eyes,
Is what hurts most, rather than the,
Stomp, stomp, stomp,
Or the,
Scream, scream, scream.

Imagine lakes of dreams
Blood contained streams
Imagine oceans that behold undiscovered beings
Imagine human life depended off of cheers and games
Man design’s umbrellas
And eventually would play a part in acid rain
Imagine not wanting to smell another rose
Or touch another soul
Because of despair and shame
Imagine in the mist of your demise
You have the passion to rejoice and sing
Imagine driving pass shattered glass
The interior is soaked with blood stains
Your mind can't comprehend the fact
that it's a dead family in the next lane
Imagine dreaming for freedom
As a result by your neck you hang
Imagine for the sake of progress
You whip a man on his back and call him a slave.
Rage, Pain, Fortune, and fame
You don't have to imagine this
Because that's what life brings.

He glances out the window,
And watches the sunset,
But he doesn’t see the beauty,
Nor the warm rays which,
Pierces through the glass,
Only the anticipation and,
Anxiety of a long night,
Carefully, he watches,
The colors change,
First the bright orange,
"God I pray this never ends…"
Filling with a deep red,
"Just a little while longer…"
Slowly softening to the,
Deceptive pinks and purples,
"Please, one more minute…"
Fading into the crimson black,
Which only night can bring,
Reluctantly, he gets ready for sleep,
Yet, knows it will never come,
He tossed and turns,
Half praying, half waiting,
Knowing what will happen,
In the way only a child can,
A light! It peeks through a crack,
In the door as a shadow floods the opening,
Quickly, the figure slips through the door,
And shuts it softly, but not without the,
Empty creak which has become so familiar,
The shadow climbs in beside him,
Touching his trembling leg, whispering,
“Hush little brother, it’ll be alright,
While I’m here, have no fear,
I’ll keep you safe tonight,”
He struggles and writhes,
Sadly knowing he will never,
Break the grip and prays to faint,
To loss all consciousness and,
Memory of that horrible night,
Just for one night without the pain,
Just for one night without,
The cold empty feeling,
Several years pass, too many to count,
A single call, one he had never expected,
He rushes to the hospital to find,
His tormentor for so many years,
Lying on a cold, hard bed,
Able to move, but only by pushing a button,
Able to speak, but only with a whisper,
He stays by him for weeks, caring for him,
Reading to him, watching over him,
Still suffering, still unable to move,
He takes his brother home,
The day goes on, moving slow as all,
The evening comes and he,
Watches once more as the sun sets,
Carefully watching, Orange to red,
Red to purple, and as the purple turns to black,
He walks into the room where his brother lies,
Slowly, he sits next to him, holding a pillow,
Stroking his head whispering,
“Hush big brother, it’ll be alright,
While I’m here, have no fear,
I’ll keep you safe tonight,”
The difference between right and wrong,
Can be hard to find,
But who’s there to see you,
When justice is blind?

Once again, the powers that must
In rise again in what we trust
An overseas conflict, another war
Just what in the hell are we fighting for
Families are asking, Korea has just passed
Generations again reft, how long will it last
A country in need, to rebuild again
Flags at half mast, in wind and rain strain
Once again into war, sent by the Washington Post
To send back reports to hit home the most
Military observers were the first to be sent in
Another chapter of man entering existing sin
I'm witnessing our ariel power, Lam Son 719
US planners determine their incursion, saying all will be fine
Along the Mekong River, we'll carpet bomb their supply trail
Tons of munitions and napalm, this spread surely cannot fail
Many sorties are being flown, for the wounded and the dead
Whilst Nixon and his cronies, aren't thinking with their heads
The news of losses has reached me, nineteen have been killed
Eleven missing, fifty nine wounded, more American blood spilled
Seven fixed wing aircraft, more sons in action loss
Whilst back at home more protests, fading the dyeing's gloss
To to this job that I do, I was never prepared for this
To witness such bloody scenes, and ignore that life is bliss
How can I write about a soldier, whose name I'll never know
Killed at nineteen years old, his family he'll never see grow
Or even explain to his parents, when carried from the AH-1
His body bullet riddled and limp, when lifted it bloodily run
I never went back to the theatre, called the Vietnam War
Having witnessed the wanton killing, what were we fighting for
This colonial conflict that started, us on the side of France
So many came back as strangers, many to live in trance
James Fraser's entry into the contest " WORLD OF WAR: VIETNAM "

Where has dad gone, momma dear?
Hush, my little lamb.
Your dad's gone to the thicket dear
And mad old Abraham
That man went early this grim morn, and took his sharpened knife
And with him took his own first born, to offer up his life
With servants and with firewood, both, they journeyed to Moriah
And on the hillside there they built an altar and a fire
And Isaac, when he heard the plan, went willingly, it's odd
That he should let that daft old man, so worship his cruel god.
Your father, he was passing by, and heard but could not see
And foolishly could not deny his curiosity
So closer did your father scramble peering through the thorns
Unaware of how the brambles tangled with his horns
Just to see a crazy man who planned to kill his kin
Your father did not understand the danger he was in
For then again that mad old man started hearing voices
His god was speaking to the loon and giving him new choices
And so his plan to slay the boy came about to falter
And Abraham, he took your pa and dragged him to the altar
But that was never fair, mama, can you tell me why
When Isaac he was all prepared and well prepared to die
And all had been decided on, so what cruel trick mama
Was played upon that grand old ram, who was my own papa?
Life is not fair, my little lamb, nor is it like to change
And fate plays tricks on all of us, both sinister and strange
So you take care, my little lamb, with this advice from me
Do not visit places where you know you should not be
The moral of this story dear, is take heed of the odds
And stay away from two-leggies worshipping their gods

This isn't just a poem
This isn't just another emotion
This is me, these are my thoughts
The Imagery is my sight,
And The Allegories are my Life
I'm lonely, There is just me
But there's so many people around
but no one can hear my loudest screams
Don't Shout nor Scream
This is all just Normal To Me
I'm torn, I'm Cut
Part of my heart stabbed,
and then taken from me
The Search for my innocence,
Is like a moa hunt
Don't Shout nor Scream
This is all just Normal To Me
Laughing and Jokes
all directed towards me
Just to Hurt me
Cover all of the Halls
"Fag, Emo, Queer"
Words I too often know
Don't Shout nor Scream
This is all just Normal To Me
Curling her hair
putting on her makeup
"You're worthless and nothing to Me"
Says the so-called all-loving-one
As she screams:
"Why am I not Pretty"
Don't Shout nor Scream
This is all just Normal To Me
This is not just a poem
not just some words
my pen cries with each words
But this is Just a Glimpse
Don't Shout nor Scream
This is all just Normal To Me

From the bottom of an abandoned gravel pit
behind my childhood home, seated,
leaning against its hardpacked sandy side,
he watched the July sun set,
the empty prescription bottle at his side.
Did he walk that day to his unnatural fate
slowly, shoulders rolling like a big cat,
alternating first one, then the other,
forward, head bent, one black errant
curl tumbling across his troubled forehead.
Did he hesitate or did he hurry
and did he think of me, just 12,
soon to be fatherless, before he
began his two weeks of decomposing
in the hot Texas sun until
the man on horseback found him
while looking for a lost calf.
I couldn't blame my mother
for the divorce she filed.
I had wanted him to leave, too,
and hadn't I prayed he would die
when he dragged her over the yard,
by a handful of her hair clasped
tightly in his fist,
because she had cut it without his permission.
Especially the next day when I found
the clump of auburn hair caught in the lush
purple blooms of the wisteria bush,
I wanted him to die.
He played his harmonica for me,
and I sang, "Daddy's Little Darling,
Don't you think I'm sweet?"
But I prayed my dad would die,
and though I asked God to ignore those
prayers of terror, I will never be able to
love enough wayward men to save my dad.

When I was very young,
Dad and I would fly my kite.
So one day I finally asked him,
"how does God make wind and light?"
"Only God can answer that."
He told me with a smile.
"So ask him when you get there!"
I nodded, then played a while.
When we first turned sixteen,
my best friend got a brand new car.
We had plans for Friday night,
but Wednesday, she didn't get far.
I cried when I hung up the phone,
"Daddy! Why my best friend?"
He came and sat down on my bed,
as we talked about the end.
"Only God can answer that."
He told me with a smile.
"So ask him when you get there."
Then I laid and cried a while.
Further down the road,
I stood dressed up in white.
The night that I'd been waiting for,
I'd found my Mr. Right!
I asked, "Daddy why am I so blessed?
I seem to have it all!
When some just have no luck,
they don't have much at all."
"Only God can answer that."
He told me with a smile.
"So ask him when you get there."
Then he walked me down the aisle.
Then thirty years flew by.
Two jobs, Dad's cancer, and my baby.
and Daddy's time grew shorter,
and every day became a maybe.
Then sadly the Dr. said "its time to say goodbye "
and by his bed I stood.
I just couldn't believe it,
that he'd be gone for good.
"Daddy why do you have to go?"
I asked him as I sobbed.
I knew it was his time,
but still, my heart felt robbed.
"I'll ask him when I get there..."
he told me with a smile.
"If I even care! I'll meet Jesus in a while!
I know you think that this will hurt you,
but these days are grains of sand,
and heaven is the Ocean!
We'll be together once again."

To love your country,
you must commit yourself indefinetly;
there are no doubts, or fears
when it comes to defend it fervently..
do it for the sake of your family,
or your countrymen who wish for peace!
They will send you to distant lands,
away from your loved ones...
to uphold freedom and its sanctity,
and you'll shine with bravery!
Anytime peace is threatened,
you'll retaliate and engage in combat,
true soldiers always fight with self-confidence,
never retreat in any circumstance!
There'll be days of fright , of darkness and despair,
and nights to shed tears on cold pillows;
no tender eyes to glance into or arms to embrace,
but surrendering distorts your honor!
As the mission comes to its end suddenly,
and you are one of the surviivors to declare victory,
although you'll also grieve for the fallen ones:
you'll wave your flag to the calmest skies!
To love your country,
you must avail yourself of dignity
and protect its borders vigilantly;
be aware of its tremendous cost:
risk your own life,or allow
the enemy to toast!

So, granny, they tell me you died yesterday
i wish i could have known you better,
i wish i knew the stories you had,
of love and loss, of joy and sorrow,
I could sit for hours, listening, and learning
A sweet old lady, with a long history, how beautiful is that?
I was busy, struggling, with my own story.
Wow, i do have regret, a loss,
i guess, i should have reached out to you,
been your student,
what did you have to teach?
I hear you were angry,
9 children, dozens of grandchildren and theirs
no one visited you, showed you love,
not even me.
So, you are in the afterlife now,
released, and let go of the tired body.
Our tears are with you, in our loss,
We all loved you, but were too wounded by life,
to see you, to know you, to be close.
The love we should have had.
I painted you, sitting in purgatory,
surrounded by the angels of healing,
I ask the angels to hold you gently as you cry,
and nurture your wounds from this life
The colors of regret and anger,
dissolving,
into acceptance and love.
we all need you to heal quickly
and be our guide.
A voice from heaven
teaching us to love more, give more and forgive.
We all give thanks to the life you lived,
and the lives you brought into this world.
We will all appreciate each other more,
a little more giving, a little more love,
all inspired by the life you lived and left.

I climbed over trepidation
poverty's barbed wire night
torn by your prosperity
my one change of clothes
thirsting for a drop of civility
on a deserted desert road
Scorched by hell’s kitchen
fed to death’s desiccate dawn
I swallowed shards of sunshine
pride's perilous knives
for one chance to be an American
to provide for my family’s illegal lives
My eyes staggered with exhaustion
my ruptured lips too foreign to cry
I kissed a picture of my children
the withering smile of my loving wife
wondering if anyone would tell them
I died drinking liberty's light

Dear mum
I’m sorry faith didn’t give us
Much time together
For I long
Every time I sit at a table
For your delicacious
Meals
For every time I see
A mother and child
I can’t help but wish
It were us
Every time I receive a hug
I wish it was from you
Every time I pick up
A picture of you
I wish you would talk to me
Every time I pick up
Your clothing
I wish I could see you in them
When I close my eyes
I see your face
Smiling at me
When I look in the mirror
I see you staring back at me
When I listen
To the song of the wind
I hear a string of your voice
Lingering
Of course
I love these things all
And treasure them
But I’ll also like to
Have the others
I’m selfish
And will love to have
Them all
Everything you is
Always welcome
I’ll never run out of space
For you.

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.
Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.
The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.
Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.

"Friend,
Mind wandering through misty woods.
You don't understand your purpose.
Friend,
I knew you too little,
Please do not shed your salty emotions,
Not out of anger, not out of sadness.
Friend,
You now lose your way so easily,
You sink, you burst, you burn inwardly.
You weep from frustrations,
From the guilt of an honest smile,
From pains, that you forget for a moment,
That come swiftly back to haunt you of your loss.
I understand, dear friend.
You once had a light and the woods seek to snuff it out.
Do not fear, dear friend,
Friend follow me, as I once did you.
Friend, now you see?
Yes, you see,
The little wisps in the fog that guide us home."
~In memory of Bill Hamman, and all else who have suffered the pains of Alzheimer's

His love is deep and desperate.
He's crying out her name.
She once showed him affection,
but now she causes all his pain.
A broken heart never mended,
and promises never kept,
his mind grew painful and insane
as he laid silently and wept.
You can't pour out your whole heart
into a love based on a lie.
You're simply running in a circle,
if you're the only one who tries.
"We're here for you, call any time."
said all loved ones of his.
But no one else could ease his pain,
this girl he strongly missed.
He tied the rope around his neck
and reached out for her love,
but she rejected once again,
and fate gave him a shove.
Was death really his intention?
Or did it go too far?
No one on this painful earth
will see into his heart.
But he leaves behind a legacy,
a shining little girl.
May she be blessed with a heart that’s pure
in this cruel and painful world.
*Note*
Cory Decker, My man's best friend, and my best friends man, passed away on May 24,
2008, suicide, something none of us ever saw coming! He was a great friend, and a loving
father to his daughter, Jaden, only 5 months old at the time, who is now a happy smiling,
almost 2 year old Princess!

Maybe it’s unacceptable
Live a life capable of a true fable
True friends never end
But take you back to where it all began
But hey misery gave us something to believe in
Stress became a greater award as we achieved sin
What could I say? Our savior died on a cross tough as pig skin
Never once cried over the loss
Forbidden fruit, Eden garden
Excuse me, my lord, I beg your pardon
And so what if these medics carry life in a carton
But I ain’t trippin
Simply because this is me until my dying day
Please stop crying, you know I can’t stay
I’m going to be the same until my dying day
Over in that casket is where I’m trying to lay
That’s right until my dying day
True lost souls from the dark side
Forever, we as mortals ride
Peace is nothing, I fend for quiet time
Rebels in riot lines
Previous high school graduates
Symbols of an adjective running toward fate
True personality suffer the privilege of inmates
How could you hesitate to ask
There’s no stranger under this mask
Lonely and unholy, who’s there to console me?
I want to get away, forever restless
You can see my similarities with the ocean
I’m stress less
Because this is me until my dying day
Please stop crying, you know I can’t stay
I’m going to be the same until my dying day
Over in that casket is where I’m trying to lay
My son, my friend
We are but pieces of eternity
Mesh on, mesh off
Even at our best times we’re soft
Who’s to say I’d regret my decision
To lead a sinners life without God’s supervision
On a one man mission
And I know I don’t come around much
Got my palms in reality
Searching for something softer to touch
Whisper in my ear, death makes me blush
And Hell only flatters me
One and one, through matter the winds scatter me
I ain’t trippin, baby girl get off your knees
You’re in the arms of a future me
And I can’t see heaven from a distance
Fire me over clouds like a piston
Marching through blood
But it’s all mud and water to Darkhouse
Stand still let me mark my spouse
Live my life as an outcast
How could you even picture me at my last?
Dear lord show some mercy on my followers
Bless those that swallow dust to follow us
No need to borrow sympathy
Unforgiving sorrow made my enemies envy me

David, you mean the very world to me and more
Can you forgive me?
You brighten my days when I am low and dead
And you listen—you always are there to listen
Bearing all things, you let me cry on your shoulder
You comforted me when I was scared to death
Of the demons…always watching…you were there
Watching over me, scaring them away from me
You save me by being alive and who you are, David
Without you, I would fall apart and shrivel into shame
Because there are few that listen—few that listen
You draw the poisons of my pain clear out
And you let them sink into your own skin
You swallowed my poison instead of spitting it out
I let you drown, David—forgive me…I let you drown
I’m selfish and rude, and I always ignore you
And for ever doing that, I hate myself
Seeing you in your last moments…woke me up
I’ve been a selfish bastard and I hate me
For never giving you enough love
David you are everything to us all and more
Do you hear me?
You are so uplifting to all of those around you
You are selfless—so incredibly selfless
And in the silence you lifted me high with praise
Because I knew you would always be the one to give it
Never was there a day that you didn’t believe in me
Even when in darkness have I buried you in all matters of sin
Your light blinds the demonic rust...your light always shining
Never leaving me in the dust but never expecting the same back
And I never saved you! From all the loneliness
I never thought of you! I was so selfish
I will never let you go again—I will fight for your glory
You are amazing in every way
Far braver and brighter than I have ever dreamed to be
I let you down this time, David…I cried for your life
But now I ask for your forgiveness
Seeing you being taken away…crushed me to the marrow
I’ve never hated myself more than tonight
But I will never, ever say goodbye
*for my little brother, David William Breidenthal - I would love for you guys to read some of his poetry. He is a brilliant kid. And he’s been having some tough times. Thanks. *

I fear the night
Never to wake in mornings light
To see your face one last time
To hear your voice that is so divine
Reaching out to touch your hand
You entwine our fingers and understand
With love as strong as ours, it's hard to say goodbye
We wipe a tear from each others eye
Slipping into the endless dark
An adventure I must embark
Waking in mornings light
Knowing it was just a dream, everything is alright
Forever together we will be
Forever and Ever, you and me

How many have ever heard the song "Somewhere in Time?"
It's a song with only music and with no words or rhyme.
"Fantasie Impromtu" is another one written by Chopin?
Also a song of rare beauty without words thrown in.
These two songs along with "Moonlight Sonata" were played by my son.
He's an acomplished pianist who can play most any run.
He played these songs at my funeral last week.
Don't be shocked all you people keep on sitting in your seat.
You Poetry Soup poets who are sitting there reading this write.
Yes you! Don't turn around and look behind you or look to the right!
Do you feel that erie feeling in your tummy right now?
Well! It's because of me! I'm hovering over you somehow!
No don't look! You won't see me.
My spirit is floating above your right shoulder freely.
I'm watching you read your poems. Did you get some good comments today?
Yes I saw where you wrote that beautiful verse, and that nice display!
You deserve that nice comment. How about your soupmail? Are there very many?
Did someone tell you a secret? Remember! I won't tell and I know a plenty!
I've been watching you on Poetry Soup for hours writing your poems that rhyme.
You're writing about love and mysteries, about cat tails, building spaceships and rhyme
time!
You're writing of happy new year, time warps, romantic longings and betrayals and how do
you do it,
One of you says your poems are like children to you, one writes of beautiful women
with wit
And one of you even wrote of hanging berries! And all of these wonderful poems I've read.
I have hovered over many of you and you never even knew I was dead,
Such wonderful talented writers we have on Poetry Soup.
Everyone writes his own style that belongs to this group.
So take heed when you sit down to write a new rhyme.
And know that someone's watching you write all this time.
And when you feel that erie feeling in your tummy right now.
Well! It's because of me! I'm hovering over you somehow!

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.
Summer
Gratias

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces
Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day
In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see.
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave
Back up north, where my futures to be
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost
And that was my aim, no matter the cost
see page 2 of 2, ty..
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php

I often wonder in my head
If angels watch while I’m in bed.
Is it they who help me see and hear
Those I have loved and held so dear.
Mother, father, husband, son
I dream about them every one.
When I awake, they’ve seemed so real
My limbs reach out to touch and feel.
Ere I remember that it’s just a dream
I fear I’ve said or done some careless thing.
To upset or hurt--my greatest fear
As it often was when they were here.
I long to sleep and dream once more,
To see the ones I saw before.
But now they’ve gone; again I lose.
We’ll talk again when the angels choose.

A Little Hill in Arlington
There’s a little hill in Arlington
Where no bodies are interred
Yet crosses dot the hillside
And Taps are sometimes heard
Unlike the Unknown Soldier
With “unknowns” in the ground
This little hill in Arlington
Is for soldiers never found
I grew up without a father
He was gone when I was four
Flying for the Air Force
Back in the Korean War
His plane was ore’ the Azores
When communications ceased
The search went on for days and days
They never found a piece
My mother raised four children
Each day she learned to cope
She said until a body’s found
We’d never give up hope
The years went by just waiting
And my mother, bless her soul
Held on until her very end
To a grieving widow’s role
For fifty years we children
Had no resting place for Dad
No gravesite and no marker
No closure ever had
Then on little hill in Arlington
Where no bodies are interred
We raised a simple white cross
Dad’s Taps were finally heard
My big sister got the folded flag
And we all shed the tears
That had been bottled up inside us
For all those fifty years
Now Dad, he has a resting place
With other fallen sons
On a quiet little hillside
Right here in Arlington

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay
Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why
They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep
Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads
As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain
Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing
We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through
Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved
Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins
As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart
Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair
Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php

Mommy can you see me?
I can bounce really high!
Maybe with some bouncy shoes
I can visit you in the sky!
I'm seven years old now Mommy.
You've been gone about a year.
I can't wait to see you Mommy,
and your memories are near.
Mommy can you see me?
Oops- I failed another test.
But I remembered what you told me
and I tried my very best.
I'm ten years old now Mommy.
You've been gone about four years.
I really miss you Mommy,
and I wish you were here.
Mommy can you see me?
Dad went off on me again.
I slit my wrists to ease the pain,
I have scars all over my skin.
I'm fourteen years old now Mommy,
you've been gone about eight years.
Who are you anyways Mommy?
Thanks a lot for leaving me in tears...
Mommy can you see me?
I'm so glad I finally changed!
In accepted Jesus like you once did
so my life could be rearranged.
I'm sixteen years old now Mommy,
you've missed the past ten years.
But I'll see you in heaven Mommy,
and that helps me fight my fears.

like the raven
who taps taps upon
your chamber door
do not fret my Virginia
for it's my shadow
moving across the floor
this is what I'm telling you my darlin
and nothing more
beneath lattice
I still call your name
come to me virginia
come hear the tap tap
upon your chamber door
for only you my love
I surrender and never more
wind howls in blanket snows
here I stand so all alone
broken hearted and misconstrued
my Virginia who lies under stars and moon
just a tap tap upon your chambers door
tis I and nothing more
tales of hidas truth
blackbird sings harps cords
just like the tap tap upon your chambers door
my sweet Virgina whom I adore
for there'll be love waiting and nothing more
as I lay right next to you in this tomb
I counted only seven who have even knew
the times of this raven who
tapped tapped upon your chambers door
twas only I and will be never more
Tribute To Edgar Allen Poe
And His Young Bride Virginia
Also To His Poem The Raven

Staring, vapor locked, at my Hammond B-3 console organ, which dominates my
kitchen. Surely a symbol of my madness. I can't help, but think, if the keys were
the days of my life, and the black ones represented the bad days, are there
enough black keys?? Fighting petulance, self-pity...losing...
Wondering if I can stand another minute alone. Atop my organ, music books,
and the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe, another mad poet.
Plagued by physical agonies that merely complete a perfect circle of anguish
and distress. Even to worrying of misspelling a word again. Pure lunacy.
Remembrance of my 1863 death at Missionary Ridge, something I became
aware of as a young child before I'd ever heard of reincarnation. Or just an early
sign of the madness to come??
I am lost in a befouling miasma of deep despair. My life's hopes down to 2
desires; one last music band, and taking my son to Disneyworld. Money is
meaningless to me.
I am well aware that death is as natural as life. And I would venture to guess
that the loss of my father, my young cousin Billy, my dear friend Mark Trotiner, and
too many others, are "Business As Usual" in this universe. But not for me.
Being terminally ill myself is something I have long since come to terms with.
And what a reunion it will be!! But I must continue to go on surviving as though I
cherish this long and barren life.
My writing, especially my poetry, my poet friends, my music, my musician
friends, and a few relatives and others; these are the meds that work for me; not
the 30 or so pills I must deal with everyday. So thank you all.
And now an addendum, one which brightened my day:
Mark Trotiner long maintained that he gave Mark Knoffler (Dire Straights) the
idea for his hit song "Money For Nothing", when Mark Knoffler came into the
appliance chain store he worked in way back then, where he bought, and drove
off with several T.V.s, singing the prototype words he'd gotten from Mark Trotiner.
Over the years, I tested him repeatedly, looking for the tale-tell deviation in the
story one finds in a false tale. He never faltered, he never failed.
Continued.....

I see that they are grieving,
But I know I'll be ok,
The Angel sitting next to me,
Has come to take away...
The doubts that I am having,
All the pain that I am in,
Forgiving my discretions,
And the last time that I sinned...
The loved ones that surround me,
Drown in tears of disbelief,
As I try and raise my hand,
To bring some solace to their grief...
But the rhythm of deep thumping,
Of my heartbeat thru the bed,
Resonates a fading frequency,
That's slowing down instead...
As the Angel helped me rise,
After taking my last breath,
Took a look into my eyes,
And blessed the body that was left
I don't know just what I'm feeling,
But I'm glad it took so long,
As I float above the ceiling,
Filling gospel with my song...
In the distance I see heaven,
Just beyond some pearly gates,
And I hope the lord is willing,
To forgive all my mistakes...
I'll miss my friends and family,
But dare not turn around,
As they celebrate the life of me,
Without making a sound...
You see there's something deeper,
So someday they'll understand,
When their Angel becomes keeper,
They will gently take their hand...
And point in a direction,
That they'be never seen before,
Which may seem like reflections,
Looking thru another door...
Immaculate attire,
And the robe that I am in,
Will never cast a shadow,
Since the light comes from within...
Now I'm on the other side,
With angels next to me,
Though my body may have died,
An angel set me free...

Mommy, Why do you cry?
Daddy, Why weep?
The angels up here.
Are so loving and sweet.
What a beautiful place,
No sadness or fears.
And whatever you ask,
God always hears.
His love surrounds me,
I am not alone.
I am comforted and loved,
I am happy at home.
So, here for you,
I'll patiently abide.
Keeping our mansion ready,
Warm and cozy inside.
I'm very close by,
And in your hearts I will stay.
I'm not really gone,
I'm just a heartbeat away.
The angels were singing,
As they opened the gates.
As you see, for me,
Heaven just could not wait.

Boys grown to men
Bullets dogged to defend
Born with a strength
Their lives are of an unknown length
Left with a rage
With each and every letter they turn a page
Of another day of blood, sweat and tears
Which they will try to forget over the years
Hoping to be heroes of war
They wish to be so much more
To earn the praise of their fathers
The respect of others
Prisoners of America ego
Fighting feuds of long ago
A cult of government reign
For each and every death it is our lord that feels the pain
So many young souls that will be forsaken
And moments of time that will taken
Their is only one choice
To be answered with a hero's voice
A clear roll of the dice
An ultimate sacrifice
Of ones own life
* you will be missed

So
WLM
Wilncrazy555
May 10, 2011
I love you so
And in this lifetime you will never know
The love in my heart
Has been there from the start
The first time on metrodate
The site of our union
We always had our ups and downs
But we weathered through the obstacles
To where we are today
And each day from here forward
Until the precious Lord takes me away
To the place of glory and contentment
But even in Heaven I will be
Watching over you and guiding you
To find the perfect image of me
To carry on the traditions of glorious marriage
Which you will not be deprived of
While you are still young and beautiful
Which will never change?
For you beauty is endless to mine eyes
For the time being while I am still with you
I will always love, honor, and cherish
Beyond imagination and comprehension
You are my queen and the mother of my children
Who will grow into the years?
From youth to adulthood
Knowing they have always been loved
To the fullest extent imaginable
From this day forward
I pray these things in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost
Amen
Chorus
Our father is always there
He knows in our hearts what we need
He guides us in our daily lives
Our father he will always be

A cousin called the other day saying "Another cousin has passed away".
Well my husband said "How old was she.""
"Ninety-eight".
A stalwart woman who had served family and community well. Producing one child that
became a missionary serving in a foreign land..
While talking the cousin asked "Did you know ______"?
My husband answered, "Well, I don't think that I knew them".
The cousin proceeded to tale this story.
"The man had been down with cancer for a while and passed recently..The funeral had been
conducted and the hearse had gone on to the cemetary..The family car with the family was
not to far behind..But when it pulled up, the wife of the deceased did not get out and the
funeral home staff was gathering around..The funeral home director decided to go see what
was going on ...."
The cousin said, " That this funeral home director told him". "That he had been in this
business for thirty-five years and faced something that he had never had happen to him or
any other funeral home director that he knew."
The funeral home director said, "When I got to the family car, I found the wife of the
deceased had passed from a massive corornary."
She had said, "I don't know how I will live without him." She didn't have to learn. God called
her home..
The roosters crow, the crows craw and are answered by the gobble of the turkey across the
way..

Can I let you go?
Will you be okay?
Where you're headed now...to a better place
Listen to my words of forgiveness
relieving this pain
I'd give anything to have you back again
To hold you once more in my arms,
one more day of happiness
you now dwell within my heart
Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory,
and the times that we share
are precious treasures that I spend reliving
The Shadow of Death
Took you in just one breath
Why must it be?
I cry behind this closed door,
searching desperately
for an answer,
yet all I feel is an emptiness inside...
despair haunts me forevermore
Why did you have to go?
Why did you have to leave?
Why does this have to hurt?
Cancer robbed thy life from thee...
Why must it be?
Fly away Angel Child of Mine
Trod thy broken paths,
roam away,
fly and be free...
Why must it be?

Clouds unite
they end all fight
darkness prevails
the bride with no veil
to see with no eyes
why do we despise
as the world does turn
our minds they do churn
thinking too much
my mind loses clutch
and the wall does grow
so high i cannot throw
my words at your mind
they fall short then behind
frustration sets in
as the sun goes to fin
the darkness will win
not i as this is my sin
i will glance with no stare
find the pain that is there
and the wind will be fair
as it carries my prayer
one day you will feel
what i meant to steal
as the darkness will peel
my pain from this real
communicate i cant
i try but its faint
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i cannot regain
i want to show the day
that the sun will remain
as the clouds unite
they don't end all fight
it is i that must cite
it is i that must fight
for only i can prevail
only minds can grow stale
if not used you will trail
if not used you will fail
if not seen its your grail
if not noticed your in hell
i will try to tell all
i must try to not fall
only you will be seen
in my eyes of ever clean
that the tears will one day fall
down my cheek in all glory
as they will be of not pain
but rejoice as i gain
and rejoice we shall reign
to the water of no shame
as i finally can blame
no one else for my rain
and all the world will see
it was i that was freed
it was i with no creed
that was released to bleed

A great day ending in tragedy
now you wait until you get the news
I was scattered in different forms
The car door was slammed into my side
The doctor walks in to give you the news
You fall to the floor
Tears falling from your face
Your makeup running down unto your clothes
Making a stain where your heart used to be
I took you back into the darkest place of my soul
Something was different more darker than before
Now you wait until the funeral of your lost love
Your standing in the corner
Your face is covered in darkness
The blood runs from your eyes
How it hurts in the worst way now that im gone
Your realizing how much i meant to you
Something you havent seen before
Your blindness fades away as you start to see
You fall to the floor fainting
No one picks you up
They drop my casket into my little hole
Where i will stay all life long
How your tears fall unto the ground
Getting soaked up by the soil
Drowning me in your tears
Admire the past no more ways to see the future
Now that your starting to love me more
You wait until you see me in a dream
Dying like the past
As your moving on i fade away
I am no longer alive
You left me behind

Dear brother you were only 22
when the good Lord came calling for you
Water had consumed your last breath
Coroners said was a flashback from heroin and meth
I had always looked up to you
but your verbal abuse made me and the others feel blue
black hair hazel eyes man you look so like Elvis
imitating shaking your hips and pelvis
blisters and sores on your young pale face
oh boy how you had fallen from Gods grace
you had a little girl right after you died
Mom always stood by her and your girlfriend's side
first Grandpa then you Dad Mom and brother Bob
for my life now feels like I've been robbed
missed over 30 yrs of wishing you birthday greetings
now at the dinner table there is limited seating
but every year when your birthday comes and passes
I will be there to pick your grave site overgrown grasses
I wonder what you would look like today
or even if your hair would be full of grey
I have forgiven for all you had done to me
for I hold no regrets so your soul can be free
heres wishing you another birthday greeting
as I lay this card and rose at your grave site's seating
Please give Grandpa Dad Mom and brother Bob my love
for someday I will reunited with all of you above
For now I have my own little girl
for she is my own everyday world
I promise to tell her all about you
and how God will turn you into someone pure and new
Rest in peace my loving dear brother
heres another birthday wish I send in passion smothers
In Loving Memory Of
My Brother Gary
10/ 18/ 48
6 / 5 / 71

Tonight as my baby girl started to pray
She said God it's 8 O'Clock,
And God We need to talk.
She said daddy help me pray,
And daddy bow your head,
As we knelt beside her bed.
she said God can you hear me?
Mommy always said you'd hear me,
If I would learn to pray,
And that you would show me the way.
Well God I don't understand.
Why you took my mommy away.
Daddy always says i'll understand,
When I grow up some day.
She said God, you need your son.
Well I need my mommy to,
And I know that my daddy,
Would be happier with mommy.
Cause daddy talks to her,
And mommy's not even there.
God can you please,
Give my mommy wings,
So she can come to see us.
She always kept our house clean,
And God I know,
She keeps your house clean to.
And God I miss mommy's big hugs,
Daddy says your son gives hugs to.
So I know if my mommy had wings,
She could hug me and daddy.
Well God I want to thank you,
For being there to listen,
And God think about what I said.
And tell mommy that I love her,
And God I love you to.
Oh just one more thing God,
Help my daddy stop crying.
Thank you God, Amen,
Then she turned to me and said,
Goodnight daddy, I love you.
I was still on my knees,
Beside my little girls bed,
With tears running from my eyes.
I gave my baby a goodnight kiss,
And said sweet dreams baby girl.
Then I went to my room,
And kissed my wife's picture,
And with tears in my eyes,
I knelt down to pray,
I said God, We need to talk.

dedicated to my deceased only brother, joshua
i'll stay with you,
as long as the wind blows
i'll always be in your heart
you know i didn't leave you all alone
i am of eternal essence
my spirit is within you
live my life for me
do all that i cant do
be the one that i once was
conceal the chances known as a flaws
and if contentment immerses herself
or sorrrow fills the air
you will hear my moral
and you'll know that i am there
there for you when you cant see
theres more to life than missing me
i wish you well, my sister, dear
for keep your chin up and wipe that tear

He received the call in the middle of the night,
be to work by sunrise, you'll be taking a flight.
Go to a land where freedom will rise,
men will stand proud and wipe tears from their eyes.
Suicide bombers for a man who controlled,
brutality to the people, dignity he had stole.
The soldier would travel to a far distant land,
where oil was vass and towns made on sand.
He fought for his country, he life sealed with fate,
his family remembers the call on this date.
It was warm in Sepember, he was out on patrol,
explosives were used and would soon take its toll.
He fought the good fight for freedom was sought,
much food and some water, America brought.
But he would come home boxed with a flag draped on top,
violence was something that he tried to stop.
He left earth the hero, he had fought with much pride,
Joined Jesus in heaven, and walked at his side.

I thought about him today,
And I hope that he is doing Ok;
I miss him more than I care to admit,
His little smirk and courageous wit;
He always had something funny to say,
And he never failed to brighten my day;
His cute little phrases or silly songs,
In my eyes he could do no wrong;
He was always there no matter what,
With his worn out hat that was beat up and cut;
Barely surviving, just like him,
There till the end when he started to dim;
I hope he occasionally thinks of me too,
Cause I love him more than he ever knew.

Twisting the Misery around his Finger,
He walks to an isolated place.
Embedding his Heels into Sand, Carefully He
Offers himself to the Earth.
Lucid, Nostalgic Perfumes of a
Deceased Love Permeate his senses.
Meagrely He closes his eyes,
And Remembers.
Night time captures the Sun and
Sinks into Sand. Darkness,
Like Liquid it Slips under the Surface
Engulfing the Labyrinth of Light,
Eating the morning hue, turning it to mist.
Peace is With Him, For Now, He
Sleeps.

It was only a few days
On their barren soil
Through a doorway he went
So many lives now spoiled
An explosive device
Plastic in design
Could never be detected
Now a life resigns
The regimental medic
Rushes to his aid
To stem his internal bleeding
Through his eyes he fades
His lifeless soul lies lonely
As he is gently stretchered away
Where he will be flown back home
To where the angels play
In honoured ceremony
As he is carried to his carriage
On the tarmac awaits
His fiance, without marriage
In the chapel of rest
She stands in a tear laden pose
Her tribute to her lost one
With him goes a Rose
For tomorrow she will awake
A new day in her life
As she remembers her love
Who would have made her his wife
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-2.php

Before her heart stops beating
Before it's too late
She has things to say
Things that just can't wait
This pain she's lived with
Has made her push people away
She thought she wasn't worth it
So they weren't allowed to stay
But before her heart stops beating
Before it's too late
She has things she must say
Things that can no longer wait
To her parents,
She's sorry she couldn't hold on
As she lays there while
Her lasts breaths are being drawn
To her family,
Everyone who showed her love
She's sorry she couldn't stay
She had too many things she couldn't get rid of
To her friends,
She's sorry, too
It wasn't their fault
They did everything they could do
To the guy she left
Waiting for an answer to his question, "Why?"
She's sorry, but she knew
It would be a hard goodbye
To anyone else
She may've left out
She promises to remember you
When she gets to the end of her route
But before her heart stopped beating
She spoke the words that could no longer wait
Even though her words would reach us
Too late

just reach your hand out to the sky
pull your loved ones back to your side
lets get to say one more goodbye
for we never wanted them to go away and die
as now the days and nights lay
in such sweet disguise
so let us once again our lord
stare into their illumating eyes
as we reach out for them
in your broad horizon sky
and get to hold and kiss them
even if their not by our sides
for if this is however feels when we die
then I'd like to be that angel in that sky
so I can just reach out right back
and wipe their tears too from their eyes
Tribute To Our Loved Ones
On The Other Side
May You All RIP

A death in family occured
Our family lost hope and faith
This pain that I lost someone that I loved had shattered my goals and dreams
I just wish that this isn't what it seems
I wish I can undo this nightmare
Just to think about that person, I just can't bare
I wish we could of said our last goodbye
Even all of us
We all shed our tears
Knowing that our loved one has passed, but she isn't with pain nor fear
We are happy for one thing
She's up there with the Lord and Angels singing "Love lifted me"

You close your eyes because of excruciating pain,
blood flows down your arms,
images of light flash before your brain.
Your body gets weak as you fall to the floor,
leaving your body behind,
Your pain is no more.
In a small dark space now, people crying above.
Wondering what went wrong, everyone thought that you knew you were loved...
Crushing your parents dreams of seeing there baby girl grow and become a wife.....
Leaving them with grieving questions of what hurt there angle so bad she'd take her own
life......
suicide..... It's not a joke its a cry for help...
Look for love, affection, or attention some one may lack.
Suicide, is death there is no coming back.....
Open your heart, open your eyes, look around.... keep our people alive...

Huddled, hands entwined as one,
the thoughts, the dread
felt like a terrifying storm,
its destruction powerfully felt.
As the tear flowed freely
and anxieties grew,
they clung tighter, closer;
though they already knew.
The room though non-sterile
reeked an aura of death,
for in this solemn room;
their worst fears were met.
As the doctor walked in
eyes stoic, stature tall,
he uttered the words;
your baby is gone.
She fought with the spirit
of one wise beyond her years,
you may be with your baby;
her sweet soul is now free.
Huddled, hands entwined as one,
they wept together, what was left to say.
The drunk driver who killed their baby
in this karmic world;
would pay; would pay.

from his abc's
to that freaky billy jean
came a pop star
for all to love and see
from the apollo's stage
wondered if you were ready for screaming rage
for you never had a childhood of bliss
only done what was on joseph's list
a studded white glove
and white socks just because
a star on the hollywood walk of fame
for you sang and danced showing no shame
scandals of twisted truth
did not detour you from your missing youth
neverland was your own safari escape
who would figure your best friend would be a chimp of faith
michael may god cradle you in his arms
and basked in your king of pops worldly charm
will forever miss that porcelain smile
and always think of you on my radio dial
for now your at your heavens trial
may god forgive this lost and lonely child
In Loving Memory Of
Michael Joseph Jackson
Aug 29th 1958 - June 25th 2009
RIP

1.
My grapefruit tanned
toothpicks
bow above
the five-day flattened
spot
in an olive shag carpet
tracing grandpa Leo's
blueprint,
with one encapsulated
toe –
this is the femur, this is
the head,
this is the fist, the ring
finger, the soul.
I search for any blunt
white quivering slivers
of Caroline's purported
fly fetuses.
2.
Huddling behind the
corpse
of an old hospital bed,
a framed photo
smoke browned and
wearing my toddler face,
watches
his children choke
hushed, broken
sentences
this will be yours, my
plate, separate the
holiday china…
an enigmatic language
that hovers in
smoke stretched rings
to wilt
upon the hallway
bulb.
3.
I am left
the ceramic cygnet,
and an ivory carved
dromedary.
These artifacts
plucked
from his porcelain
menagerie
that I decipher
through dust fingerprints
for
one small inheritance of
a memory.
4.
Tomorrow,
Aunt Rose
puts price
to his bibelots,
the olive shag carpet,
even cousin Amy's
plastic horse,
who was accidentally
left to pasture on an
afghan.
A silver plated glass cage
image of her past,
she says she will whittle
all of him,
from the
wooden
house
bones.

MY MOTHER
I dedicate this poem to my beloved mother
I miss you mum, I miss you
I know I always will
I’ll never stop loving you
I knew that you were ill
I wanted to take away the pain
I would have done it too
But you just grinned and took it
That is so like you
I remember that look on your face
When you told me you were dying
It seems like it was yesterday
I could not stop crying
I know it’s been a long time
In fact it’s sixteen years
Time will never ease the pain
It cannot stop the tears
I say goodnight to you in bed
And think of you in bed
You’ll always be there in my heart
It doesn’t heal in time
My love for you will never die
And this I know is true
You just remember up above
I’ll never stop loving you
A large piece of my heart is gone
But I am not too sad
I remember the memories
And they always make me glad
You are my guardian angel
Who always looks after me
I look up at the stars above
I see you shine, I see
I hope you like this poem
I made it just for you
Remember I’ll love you always
And I’ll always miss you too

I came here with flowers
held gently to my sobbing chest,
to bring them to my dearest;
I have departed from the living,
to come face to face with my ending...
I lay my flowers at this cold tombstone...
engraved with a name too sweet,
and yet so painful to call it out;
the heat in my throbbing veins
could warm it up with a loving wish before dawn;
but who can resurrect someone from death?
This morning is dazzled by an intense sun,
carnations, flags and tombstones
perfectly blend as the swaying pines
offer their breeze and soothing shade towards noon;
why are the noisy larks hiding,
and melancholically sing?
I rushed here to release these tears
and let them roll from these eyes,
like raindrops falling on this very quiet place:
where tranquility is as eternal as Paradise...
I lay my flowers at this cold tombstone,
feeling a presence so known;
others before me have knelt and cried,
not to forget whom they lost and dearly loved...

YOU
Inside
Me This
Or No
You One
Stand
ME
As you can see no one’s inside, neither, you or me
On earth we are but just two, there is, no she or he
Nor they, only you and me, and we’re both outside
You’re on the upper side and I’m on the lower side
Great riches is absolutely your convincing power
And from poverty, day and night, I endlessly suffer
You discreetly dislike my skin, though I am meek
I like the color of your God given, apple-red cheek
Ah! Indeed, God created us, but is He really fair?
My mind is yelling, this is not fair! He’s, too, unfair!
For He gave you all I like, in this world, everything
And He gave me what you dislike, only little thing
You’ve all, the looks, the wisdom, and great wealth
I’ve poorer looks, lesser wisdom, and a poor health
You’ve all, and still, for fame, you play with a flame
O, less I got, always, your faults, I do get the blame
This is what we are; accepting the truth is not easy
But I learned a thing, when you’re, too, damn busy
Our Creator had set upon us, an ultimate equalizer
Nil counts, even if,we win the Nobel or the Pulitzer
O gee! We do have something in common, after all
I breathe, you breathe, and someday we are to fall
Now I see that God is fair, time to say, we are sorry
I don’t know if you reflected on this, do you worry?

She Silently waits in the darkness,
Her punishment will come this night.
As he come bursting through their front door,
Her future no longer looks so bright.
Trying to hide her secret scars
Scars she wants no one to see,
with his hands held tight around her throat,
he said "You will never leave".
Behind her blue eyes she silently cries,
terrified to utter a sound,
Her end is near, she knows that this time
At his hand he will meet her demise.
Their shadows are dancing upon the walls
He pushes and shoves her until she falls.
Praying that someone would hear her cries,
She sees the hatred in his cold, unforgiving eyes.
An eerie silence fell upon their home,
He stood there staring at what he had done.
As he turned in disbelief,
There stood Carrie, she was watching, she was only three.
The air is so cold now, its so hard to breathe
Theres a heart wrenching sadness one couldn't conceive,
There will be no more bruises, there will be no more pain,
Because his soul, that's where her blood stained

I'm fulling apart my heart is full of smoke I swear I dont joke
my heart is beating full confusion and I have no solution because
I'm falling apart inside I feel like I'm dieing inside because
of all the lieing my mind and heart are racen Im tracen my step
because am falling apart

I
out on the water..............
hear the music
rise and fall
it knows no bounds
and through it all
I see the colors of the notes
a windy rain,
a mist that floats
so gently on the surface mode
just like the waves
display the code
the sunlight
dazzles in my eyes
is that you whispering
goodbyes?
you never knew
the rulesat all
you said that
you could take the fall,
somehow you thought
you were immune
to every madness
'neath the moon
and now we've washed
you out to sea
I told you so...........
still.....
you are
free.

I’m going to the promise land
To see the face of someone grand
Who holds the world in his hands
In the hands of the man
Don’t cry no more because I smile
We’ll meet again after a while
You’ll find me on my knees and hands
Singing praises to the man
It won’t be long ‘til that day comes
When the man lifts from his mighty throne
And comes to earth to claim his men
In the hands of the man
I bid farewell but just for now
And know my love lasts far past now
Continue until we meet again. . .
In the hands of the man

Moments come and go,
But special moments come again,
When the thoughts of you with me
Seem they never have an end;
As a touch brings back sensation
And a song triggers emotion,
A smell brings back the memories
As a taste triggers the notion
That we'll always be together;
What we shared will never end,
And I know that you're right there
When special moments come again.

When You See Me I Say Hello
When I Leave You Say Goodbye.
How Then Did I Not Know My Hello
Would Be My Last Goodbye.
When The Phone Rings I Hope To
Hear Your Voice And Its Soft Tone.
But When It Rings I Hear Someone
And Its Not You How Could This Be.
Your Sweet Hello's Come To Me Like
You Never Left My Tears Start To Flow
When I Hang Up The Phone.
Hello/Goodbye I Often Cry For Your
No Longer Here What To Do Where
To Turn.
My Tears Start Falling And My Heart
Burns Because Your No Longer
Here To Guide Me.
Hello/Goodbye I Just Don't Want To
Cry But I'm Hurting Still My Life Will
Never Be The Same.
How To Deal? How To Cope?
I Just Think Of You And The Tears
Just Start To Flow.
Hello/Goodbye God Why Oh Why
Did She Have To Die.

Today is the day
We say our final goodbye
May you forever rest in peace
In Gods lands in the sky
Now tears of sorrow
Slip from our face
With only memories of you
Left to embrace
Expression is difficult
And words not always there
But we your family
Have always cared
And as you look down
From heaven above
Please always know
That you were loved

Her breathing was so even and calm,
Sleeping in that bed,
Her face once distorted with so much pain,
Now seems so soft and painless,
Looking closer to her face,
I think she’s kind of smiling,
Maybe she’s dreaming of when she was well,
Or maybe she’s dreaming of me, I can’t tell.
I remember summer evenings; we’d sit in the grass,
She’d tell me stories that I had never heard,
About people and places from the past,
She even shared her dreams with me,
And swore me never to tell,
That one day she would fly away,
And get out of what she called hell.
She never liked the place that we called home,
Always saying there was so much more,
But where I never saw, and always failed to ask,
I think she thought she wouldn’t have been sick,
If she hadn’t lived there,
But I know she would still be,
No matter where she did dwell.
Sometimes I would feel sad,
Because I know my time with her would end,
That one day she would be so sick,
She wouldn’t get back out of bed,
I feel this time has come,
She’s been in bed a long time now,
Her skin has lost its tan,
She’s so white and fragile now,
I’m afraid I’ll break her if I touch her,
I was told even though she sleeps, she can still hear me,
So I tell her lots of tales,
And all my darkest secrets,
I swore her never to tell,
That I wish that she were well,
Lately everyone around has been so sad,
So many tears- I don’t understand,
Is she finally going away?
From this place that she called hell?
Is she finally going to be free from pain,
And actually fly away?
I’ll guess she may have already,
Maybe that’s why she smiled,
Maybe in her dreams,
She’s flying high in the sky,
Sleep now,
And I will do the same,
I know that when I open my eyes,
Yours won’t because your time has finally came.
I’ll miss you forever.

I watched him shuffle across the dusty old floor,
You could see the pain with each step as he reached for the door.
I said why don’t you let us get someone to help you with your chores?
Reckon that would probably make it easier on me, that’s for sure.
But son I’ve been a batchin ever since the Lord took your Granny away,
And I really wouldn’t have it any other way.
My old dog and that old cat keep me company when the days get rather long,
We sit out on the gallery and I hum one of your granny’s favorite old songs.
Ain’t gonna be to long, I reckon till the Lord calls out my name,
Sure enough been ready, without your granny ain’t nothing quite the same.
The one thing I’m gonna miss though is seeing you every day or two,
Yeah I knew that day was a coming, just thinking on it really made me blue.
I said paw does it scare you some knowing you be fixing to leave,
Don’t reckon it does knowin I’m a going to a better place, sure ain’t no reason to grieve.
I said paw how am I going to get along, you’ve always been there for me?
Just trust in the Lord son, He’s always there you’ll see.
Well it weren’t but a few days later we laid ole paw away,
I never seen him look any happier, I know he was ready for that day.

Linda
I remember the first time we met you came round for a coffee.
I remember it well, we sat talking for hours, just you and me.
Over the next few years, We must have drunk hundreds of cups.
Life was a roll of downs, Then ups.
I remember the first time I met your Mum. All dressed in pale blue.
I think she was going to some special do.
I remember Jills first birthday party, even the dress she wore.
The house was full of friends and family and more.
Val and Grandma, Carol and Jane all of their familys as well.
The house was packed, certainly a tale to tell.
The Bell Inn at Ingolmells where we all went for a drink.
Then round to our caravan, coffees to sink.
I remember Claire as a child, the hours she used to spend at our home.
Every Monday on the way to Slimming World she got credit for her phone.
I remember all the things she used to help me with. shopping, baking,
washing the dishes the cups and the plates.
All this before she was even eight.
I remember so many things that we used to do. The bonfire parties at your
house.
All the same crowd their having the time of their lives.
Then the big bash for my big Five O.
I wanted a really big show.
So we prepared all the food at your house, Then carried it all over to mine.
Only just got it all ready in time.
I did the cake it was a huge chocolate train.
Something big enough to get all the candles on was my aim.
Life throws some really awful things at you.
Some so bad you just don’t know what to do.
Our friendship spanned almost thirty years
A lot of fun a lot of tears.
When the police came round to our house that night, I didn’t even realize you
had gone.
I thought you were just ill again, I found out almost a week later on
Especially as we had only been chatting a couple or so weeks before, About
the past.
On that day you looked so well with all your make up on, I thought you were
on the mend at last.
On your birthday in May I thought of you,
All the things we had been through, Rest in peace. Love Pat

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend
We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation
We lost the glue that held us together
We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things
We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul
We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day

~~Chronic Pink~~
(Parents Peril * The Nightmare)
Evil sits and whispers -sweet lullabies
Chimes within my head,
I feel damnation scratching at my conscious
Of what was and is!
ASLEEP……………….
Water running down my toes
Rain taping at my windowpane
I fear; I’m reliving my childhood days
~~Dark April showers have a chronic look~~
Motioning me to escalate before daybreak, to face a colorless what!
The trickle of musty wind mesh under my skin
The panics initiates,
But all I conquer and collect is a gash of movement that very moment
SLEEPWALKING……………….
Feelings and wants exist inside my head
Visions of slitting my wrist from end to end
My subconscious is no longer my friend
At night, praying is what got me through the dark-mares.
I held my own hand that very night
Telling myself it would be all right
EYES OPEN WIDE……………….
Walking down the narrow hall
These Chimes, these Chimes!
Grew with entanglements of crime
In my parent’s room, is where the lullabies were coming from?
Shhh!!! Hush now, I’m humming to the evil sweet chant…
Whispers of dust suddenly stop
The envelope opener, I punch in and out each neck
One by one, they look up to only see me
A demonic child’s laughter erupts
Chronic Pink escape…
Pacing myself off the bed
I did not realize at that moment of what I've done
Cries of nothing led me back into my room.
There and only there water still sits under the sheets
The emptiness in my head was a sign that finally I can go back to sleep.
Falling asleep too the quietness that spilled around me
Waking up to, the parents peril sight every night
My subconscious held no sympathy
But, my chronic pink eyes relive this everyday memory
I cannot stand this….
Once again, I begin to hear the sound of scratching violins
Where dreams of ANGELS come in Chronic Pink.
by;pd
9/10/2012

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013
I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it
Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it
You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too
I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you
I hate you with every fiber of my being
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer
I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer
You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve
And you'll never be able to take another soul
Sabrina Niday Hansel
______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's 2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest
Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!

A Prayer for my Wife
Now I’ll tell you all the details if I can keep from sheddin’ a tear
Last night when it got late and really quiet around here
I got down on my knees, crossed my heart and began to pray
And in the darkness between me and God, here’s what I had to say
I love her so much Lord and I just don’t know what I’d do
I’m afraid that she won’t make it, that’s why I’m coming to you
Here with my heart open, at your mercy down on my knees
I’m begging’ you with every heartbeat, Oh Lord hear my pleas
I don’t know what your plans are or what you have in store
And I know I don’t deserve her and that she deserves much more
And don’t misunderstand Lord, I don’t assume any obligation
For your bounty in our life has exceeded all our expectations
But please allow her to live and me to be a part of that life
And I swear I’ll make this beautiful woman proud to be my wife
And if it’s not in your plans Lord then I pray that you take me instead
Cause’ I can’t live without my love, I’d be better off dead
And no excuses for my past Lord, but I’ll do better than I’ve done
I ask you only this, my lord, in the name of your Son.
I wiped my tears as I said my amen’s and prepared myself to stand
Stepped up next to your bed and began to caress your pretty hand
I stared off into space as all the memories came flooding in
Reliving each and every moment, over and over again
And as the first rays of sunshine, streamed in past the curtain
I felt an overwhelming peace calm my mind and ease the hurtin’
I felt compelled to kiss you so I pressed my lips to your face
And it seemed the room was filled in the beauty of God’s living grace
And you slowly opened your eyes and smiled for me to see
And I knew the Lord my God had given my sweet wife back to me

You’re not real deep as rivers go
You’re really not that wide
When it comes to my feelings of you
They’re feelings I just can’t hide
Through giant boulders you descend
Winding through canyon walls
Inside you many have met their end
As rapidly as your water falls
Merle Haggard wrote a song of you
You took someone he loved
His song is very beautiful and true
A gift from God above
At four I stood upon your banks
Watched my mother die
Like those before and after her
So many left to cry
Your pools are pools of death
Calm and still they seem
Whirlpools lurking underneath
The end of many dreams
For Brian's contest

Please don't cry over my casket
For I am not there
Please don't cry at my grave
My soul has been set free
I know it's hard not to cry
I've been down that road one to many times
I have no more pain
I have no more sickness
And I would not change a thing
As I walk threw the gates of Heaven
Mom Dad our brothers and sisters
Will welcome me with open arms
Here I am free of that pain
Don't blame yourself
It was my time to go home
This is where I'm supposed to be
Don't dwell on things which you can not change
I will always be in your heart
I will always be watching over you
When that day comes for you to come home
I will be there to welcome you
With open arms
And walk you threw the gates of Heaven
You will be greeted by our family & friends
Who came home before you
Until that day I will be watching over you

Im going to tell you a story about a girl.
She was smart, and ready to take on the world.
Had a hard childhood with her mother always ill,
but her father worked hard and struggled to pay the bills.
My name is Pam and the poem your about to read,
Is a interesting poem, all about me.
I started to feel depression and pain,
at the age of 15 I was snorting cocaine.
I got pregnant at a young age and wanted to explore,
So I walked right out of my families door.
Time went on and I was still not around,
My mom grew sicker and dad wearing a frown.
Not much longer until I experienced this change,
and tragic horrible hurt and feeling of pain.
I walked in that room ,and climbed in the bed
I layed down beside him, and layed down my head.
With my hear I could hear his heartbeat.
The next thing I new we were burying him six feet deep.
At the funeral they said she was in a better place,
but it just wasnt fair to see that look on her face.
My mom that is she died with my dad,
She may have been breathing but always so sad
Two years later she decided to give up,
her faith was gone and hope for luck up.
Thats when I really started to struggle,
barely getting by and forgetting that i was mother.
She seen me drift into a dark place,
I started loosing weight in my stomach and my face.
Before I new it I was always getting high,
Weeks became months, and time flew right by
Its to bad that I chose this new path I was on ,
Because on August 11Th I got a call saying my mother was gone.
Like a replay I walked into that room,
to see her lying there as stiff as a broom.
I layed down beside her and rubbed my fingers
through her hair , but the pain I was feeling I just couldn't bare.
You would think after loosing my mom and my dad,
Anything else wouldnt seem near as bad
Within four years I had nothing left,
My child was taken for my foolish regrets.
Just me and my addiction no more tears to cry,
so many different ways that I could get high.
I would like to introduce this powerful drug,
It bring nothing but bad when I was searching for love.
The name is crystal, Crystal Meth
The one thing in the world, I wish I had never met...

,
Lord thank you for this life,
As I have lived a full life,
It was not always as I would have like,
But I lived it to the best of what I could,
I’m going home; Home to the place I want to be,
I’m going home to Jesus where He waits for me,
I have been a long weary believer,
As I’ve been away to long,
I now know what I’ve been searching for,
As He's been there in me all along,
I’m going home; Home is the place I want to be,
I’m going home to Jesus where He waits for me,
I have been and seen lots of places in life’s journey,
Now I yearn for familiar faces in familiar places,
I hear familiar voices calling me to come home,
I see familiar faces looking at me,
I’m going home; Home is the place I want to be,
I’m going home to Jesus where He waits for me,
My time is near, the hour I know not,
I see Jesus' face across the Heaven’s,
I hear His soft sweet voice calling me home,
I can’t wait for my real life to begin,
I’m going home; Home is the place I want to be,
I’m going home to Jesus where He waits for me.
By; Rev. Samuel and Esta Mack, OMS
Copyright 2011
VISIT US AT: http:paladinnews1.blogspot.com

I stand at your grave.
I do not know your name.
I know not where you are from.
Where you fought,
nor where you died.
The horrors and pain you suffered,
were not in vain.
The death and destruction brought you pain.
I weep at your grave,
for the life you gave.
I weep for the Mother,
that gave you that life.
I kneel before your grave.
I bow my head in gratitude to you,
The Unknown Soldier.
Forever Remembered.

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know
Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know
Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that
You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know
You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me God, Help me to understand
You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel
How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door
You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me God, you owe me that much
Spiritual

I met Uncle August on my honeymoon.
I was prepared.
“He won’t talk to you," my new husband told me.
"He’s a cantankerous old man,
so don’t be hurt, he doesn’t talk to anyone.”
He was in his 70's.
I was 20.
He was ill.
He was right where I was told he would be,
sitting at a long wooden table in a large kitchen.
One that had fed large families
and farm workers
for decades.
His arms were spread out to his sides
enlarging his lung cavity
so he could breathe easier.
His head was hung between his shoulders;
a long crooked ash hung
at the end of his lit cigarette
between gnarled and stained fingers.
He looked up to me when I was introduced and he talked.
We talked and laughed,
nonstop,
for two hours.
Thirty-seven years later his nephew,
at his long wooden kitchen table,
elbows extended so he could breathe,
Oxygen snaking its way into ruined lungs,
head hung low,
trying to nap.
Was he remembering Uncle August?
Unable to breathe
paramedics took him away.
He never came home.
His children said their tearful goodbyes —
and now they wait
to take their place
at the long wooden kitchen table.

Sometimes I think that it has been so long since your departure
I actually lived more years without you than with you
Even though I had to accept the unspeakable pain I went through
I ventured into stages of life and had since mature.
Ummi words will not be enough to tell you how much I miss you
I remember your sweet smell forever in me imprinted
The cuddles of your arms where I felt protected
Your beautiful smile brightening my horizon renews.
I was not finish loving you ummi!
As I grew up more and more, learning to know you
I felt getting closer and closer … step by step … I had walked a few
I wanted to become your closest ally so you could rely on me.
I wanted to protect, help and take care of you one day
As you had spent so much of your time caring for me and my siblings
Your only girl I was and connected to you even in my dreams
I was going to be there for you… undertaking your relay.
My tears are still flowing for you from my broken heart ummi
As you left suddenly, a tear ingrained in my soul
I cannot resolve the unfinished puzzle
As if that fateful day, you had left with a piece of me.
I will forever love you …you’re the sweetest ummi

In the childhood home her mother spins her child
Round and round we go happiness seems to overflow
And the childhood goes by; faster, faster
A growing child with so much energy running and having fun
Careless and free he runs across the yard
He is growing up; faster, faster
Only in middle school and already a rebel
Sticking up for a friend and getting in a fight
He has courage but still he runs; faster, faster
High school has come at last
The odd man out he cries for attention
Into depression he spirals; faster, faster
At the high school prom he meets a girl
The hearts beet together and the music beats in their ears
They are falling madly in love; faster, faster
Barely a year and a kid on the way
To work and back the same routine, every hour, every day
A wedding is coming closer; faster, faster
So far a happy life, and a good career
They buy a home and outside he spins his child
Another childhood is going by; faster, faster
His life was long another one has started from it
But now the ambulance move; faster, faster
And his heartbeat fails; slower, slower

My uncle died today
I don't know what to say
He was my fave.
Full of vim and vigor
Didn't need gun and a trigger
To have his say.
Slightly misogynist
But ain't the best of us
Flawed in some way?
I'll miss Abbott.
Has been my habit
To love him every single day.

To capture the attention everyone else gets but you
You do whatever you can to get it
Even if its bad
You continue to do it
To get the attention you never had
And the attention you will never get
You want the perfect body and soul that everyone else has
You want to feel important... special
So you seek for a better
Much higher thing
What you need
You dont quite know
But you decide that
You will do whatever it takes to make you happy
And sometimes
That means..
suicide
Sometimes it means
Shooting someone
Because the hole inside your heart needs filled
And thats the only thing you ever had
The only thing you see
The only thing that someone gave to you
The thing that got everyone talking about you
The thing that got everyone to even look at you
So if you decide to kill someone
You kill yourself afterwards
Because you felt lonely again
You felt that no one was watching you
That no one even cared
Then you think about all the things that
Bugged you
And you pull the trigger
Then theres no more you
Next time someone sees you
You will be on the news
Where now you are special
And important

My Dad was Chicagoan.
He would light up a room just like my Mom.
He loved to fish ! He loved his beer .
He also designed a Octagon home in the 70's
Built custom by hand . I was very proud of Dad .
Alcohol hit our Family , a curse .
He left my Mom when I was 14 in Illinois.
To renew in California , leaving a trail of tears .
Meeting my step mom , my sisters age .
My 2 sisters they were accepted in her world .
Not I , I looked too much Like Mom . Told this all my Life .
She a petite Beauty , RN , real estate Broker .
I did not see why it was wrong to be like mom ?
I moved in with Dad, His new Wife , and 2 sisters
eventually . All three women were competing for my Father .
I was kicked out at 16 yrs.
Years do pass , you try and accept people places and things .
At the end of Dads life , he was calling me once a week .
I ordered a Engraved Clock for the Fathers day coming.
This was a issue for the Wife and sisters , never invited to his new home , 2 Decades ~My little Brother & I , never wanted .
Dad passed suddenly one sad Spring Day . Not one word from his wife , all 3rd party, how and when, Dad Died . being denied the right to his address , even to say goodbye .
Not being able to send my engraved clock .
"Dad Passed " received call from sister whom just stayed a week with me , I took her all around the sites here . "1st day I get call , you should come , 2nd Day after , Dad's been cremated already . " It was a lie.
I went anyway , finding the funeral home, the Funeral Director was appalled at the denial displayed.
He insisted I was given 10 minutes alone with Dad , my Birthright to say Goodbye , he was in dismay over the Hostility towards a daughter ~
I get to this room of mean relative's. His sisters , Mine, angry looks , hearing from a Aunt "What is she doing Here ! " I can't give nor reason or rhyme.
Shame to you and all that participated that wicked day.
Are you Glorified with Power? Denied the right to grieve ,
Left with no sane answers to give in hatred received by Blood . Some , just Spouses , telling me I had no right to Say Goodbye to my own Father , My DAD .
My Dad wanted me there , I know he did . I love Him and will never forget , his youngest girl whom looked like Mom . I know in my heart and dreams he speaks.
We all see when we leave . May God not allow any Son or Daughter to go through such Evil.
Thank-you Poetry Soup for returning my voice .

~now it's me who has been chosen~
after years of nursing the broken souls ~`
~refusing to listen to statistics , watching their bodies go ~
percentages and numbers they have become
praying , please don't forget this one , she is a Mother ~
she has a son , a daughter , a grandchild , a sister and brother.
Let us not forget her name , please do not let her die with shame .
Why do you come seeking your toll , the Grimm Reaper of souls?
~ For this once young girl with the face one can only imagine her beauty ~
so many stares as she enter a theater or restaurant ,is she a model ?
~ she must be with a body like this , a body and face, eyes wide , smile divine ~
We love to hate , yet really she is quite beautiful. "If I could, I'd be this beautiful"
The long flowing hair , her natural looks , she must already be discovered ~
~ The years go by , and time allows way for the offspring of her breast
the many that once shed gossip among the jealous is inherited through her child~
The Pink ribbon , new hair designs chosen , all the make up , preparing to say Goodbye~ With Grace . No I will not let you see my fear on this Poker Face.
Another statistic on Record will go I . Cancer has come like a thief at night
abruptly leaving me with nothing , yet how will I leave bravely, as I raised my own
I want them happy and at peace through me passing ,take me now , be merciful,
Lay me in a white silk dress as beautiful as I once were , with flowers by my side
Please remember me , I am not ready to die ..not like this ,Another soul dismissed .

Here lies the best Grandfather,
One who was very considerate.
Remembering him as a child,
I would sit on his lap.
He was a rare person indeed.
He was a colonel in the Army.
Also superlative of a gentelman.
Here lies the best grandfather,
May he rest in peace.

There's not much to say.
I knew her, know some things,
but certainly not all.
I know how little she put up with fools,
how her cooking surpassed so many others',
how simultaneously sweet and hard she could be.
I know about her smoking,
about her jewelry, her faith,
all these I'll hold close to me.
Every single spark, every star,
shines with such a glow, such a marvelous radiance,
that we can't gaze too closely at it,
lest we cause ourselves pain.
And yet, despite ourselves, again and again,
we do;
because it's not within us to resist
the sheer beauty of it all,
of stories and of life.
A bouquet of tulips for you.
We all miss you already, Grandma.
I miss you.
I know Heaven's got you, taking no guff as always,
making sure we're all doing alright.
I love you.
Andrew James (McGillicutty) Sprouse

His strong arm wraps her frail, labored shoulders
Together they whisper against the clear, glass wall
All pain has passed, and they behold an answered prayer
A glorious blossom that has been entrusted to their hands
The child in the bed has a smile of morning
They know but still they ask – Is she the one?
The voices crouch upon the bedroom windowsill
looking in from the night with curious eyes
Their fairy hands clasped together as though in prayer
Watching the rosy dreams that float above the girl
whose sleepy sighs breathe through the room like a song
With pressed fingers, they think – Is she the one?
He holds the black and white photo with his fingertips
as though when touched with flesh it might fade away
like the ending of a perfect dream, that lasts, in memory
yet hangs like aurora lights – there but not there.
Raven-black eyes kiss the sweet face in the picture
and written on his sighing lips – Is she the one?
She is like a willow, he, the poet resting in her shade
Bound with much more than two golden rings
It is long since they have given oaths of eternal love
But not once have their hearts stepped away from each other
With eyes made one they watch their child wreathed in lilies
Unspoken are their words – Is she the one?
He has been at the bedside for the past ten days
He has been beside her for the past fifty years
Wrinkled hand holds wrinkled hand, together tender
The sweet face, now lined and creased, is more than beautiful
He remembers the old picture, the love-wrought words
A smile recalls them – Is she the one?
Above them, unseen, the voices have returned
The slender lights that have always watched her
through the years from the beginning, and now at the end
Their eyes are wet, but they have come to fetch the soul,
her innocent heart to take away in their fairy hands
Like music are their words – Is she the one?

L Long ago travelled Kings
O Opened their minds to prophecies
V Visiting from afar they brought gifts of Gold, Fracincense and Myrrh
E Eastern Star guiding them lighting the way
C Company of Heavenly Host
A Allelujah! Angels appeared to Shepherds, telling Savior born
M Manger for bed wrapped in cloths in Town of David
E Evangelically proclaimed Christ the Lord
D December 25th designated day
O On which we recollect
W Why/way Christ entered our world
N Nativity only part of His story
A A new testament
T Tells of new covenant between God and His people
C Christ's coming to Earth
H Hailed as new born King, Holy
R Risen Lord, righteous redeemer,
I Intercedes for us as
S Spiritual Saviour to save sinners souls
T Time for Truth, Trust, Trinity
M Man's belief in God of Love,
A As Father Son and Holy Spirit
S Shall be saved

written 28th oct 2012
You were never seen by us, that privilege sadly was not for us
an extravagance we were overwhelmed by, the thought of your embrace
The entire twelve weeks you were a joy to have known, even 'without' being seen
hearing about you're arrival, was a blessing at the time you were conceived
For life hadn't been easy and we had all asked God, we even plea'd
We wait upon the day, you will finally meet us
having the honour to love and learn with you, saddly not for us
It brakes my heart as you part, you had already embeded love into my heart
Just knowing we will now...forever be kept apart
God has other plans for your love that's so strong, blessing us from the start
we continually pray, maybe he'll deside to let you stay around
But the intense pain of tears and loss, are constantly falling all around
just let it be known, we all desperately wanted you to become part of us
We all will love you for eternity, you are now forever one of us,
although it was only for a very slight second, it was better than never
You are from this day on, embedded into our hearts forever...
the impact you have left 'unborn young one'' my beloved grandchild....
"Angel" 2012

Wondering if it’s an omen, finding the box in the attic today?
A treasure trove of memories into our lives
This piece of paper upon which I started to write a poem
I remember at the time I could write no more as I grieved
Missing you as each day goes by and wishing you were here
I know you are in the ever loving arms of our Lord
The Lord sent you down as an angel on loan to us
You were called home dear and we were not ready
I know we will one day be together again
Waiting for the day we will be called home also
Now the poem I started to write to you is finished
Our time together will come again my daughter and
never end
Written by: Carol Brown
For The "Treasure Trove" contest of Linda-Marie
1st Place Winner

M y mother died when I was fifteen months old
O h how my heart hurt when I called her so bold
T o heaven her soul did soar_ leaving her children
H ere on this earth, with lives now so totally barren
E each day I wonder why so young she had to go
R easons I will never know in this life though
S atan did his work in destroying family
D evil stirred the father to drink, compulsorily
E aten away was his heart from the loss; Granny
A ttended five children's needs, extra for baby
T o family members word was spread_ youngest given
H ome by adoptive family; but this for child heaven

Hebrews 13:2 "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."
"Authors Note: This is a true short story/poem of my strange encounter with a dear, homeless man named Sam.
This happened in 1992, when I was living in Grass Valley, Ca. These are not actual pictures of Sam, but they remind me of him in so many ways. We should care about people, all people, homeless or otherwisez'
***Dedicated to Sam*** ____________________________________________________
Part 1
He stood alone on the corner on a local, busy, traveled street
In ragged clothes holding a sign standing in the cold or heat
“Anything Helps,God Bless", it says, on his small cardboard sign
"I’d appreciate whatever you give, even a nickel or a dime".
Most all the drivers pass him by, seeming not to care
But every time I see him, I feel such a need to share
I’ve seen him at other places in that same part of town
A place where the homeless go; those that are lonely and down
There’s a shelter down the street, a couple of blocks away
It’s called “Open Door Mission” a place where the homeless stay
I want to cry when I see this place, full of children, women and men
Driving down by the Mission down on Nicholas Street, I see them picking through dirty, garbage bins
Glad when they find a piece of clothing, or joyful for some aluminum cans
Some people think it’s shameful when others are down, or in such paltry jams
I think to myself, “How can they feel this way, it could be them or me”!
“Open your eyes”, I want to yell out loud, “Isn’t this the land of the free”?
How far have we come from this ideal, 'Land of the Free, Home of the Brave”?
On our holiday, the Fourth of July, does that saying mean the same today?

You’ve been thrown left and right,
Crying to yourself every night,
Thinking all has gone wrong,
& you won’t be giving up after long..
You’ve been heartbroken
One
Two many times:
From old boyfriends,
To lies;
Father walked out,
Baby killed by mistake;
Your mom has disowned you,
But she still shows you lust…
Everybody knows the truth,
The pain that you do not choose;
They see what you show,
But see me…
I, T’Keyah Wilder,
I already know…
You’ve raped and thrown from left to right;
Crying to yourself every night;
Everybody saying they understand,
But you know you’re the only
One who knows your pain ;
On this land…
It’s a matter of time,
Before you kill yourself,
Stressing yourself,
Hurting you and everyone else;
Blaming yourself for,
Mistakes not purposely made;
Crying every time you feel like you just got
Laid,
You want the true love,
Love shown from the heart;
Honestly,
Coming from your big sister;
I think you need a fresh start,
Easing your pain with nicotine;
I’m surprised you’re not
Sippin lean…
I know it may be hard,
To forget about the past,
But there’s one thing;
I must ask from you and I
Want this to last;
Promise me, you’ll try your best
To stress less,
& pray more…
Listen to God;
Put him above…
All;
We’re not close like we used to be,
But you know I’m just a phone call,
Away…
Not far from you..
But I wish you’d realize,
This too…
Stressing is not working,
Cause death, the devil, lies,
& fear are lurking..
Promise me;
You’ll try to be the best you can be…
Dear Little Sister from another Mister!
<3 RiP auntie bby ; djF .

The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father.
Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.
She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too.
She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before
And growing darker day by day
But she wouldn't let that stop her.
Suddenly a year had passed... and then two
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
Anyone...
With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand
The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.
She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.
So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself
She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.
That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.
She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared, and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying
Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn
Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!
And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here
So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?

You all were taken way to soon
To go and listen to an angel's tune
As you sit and listen to their song
You are not where you belong
You belong with your loved ones
Enjoying the thoughts of days to come
The world stopped on this day
They stopped and started to pray
I am a father, that word has new meaning today
I can't understand why you were taken away
As I sit and try to find a reason
I shed many tears over this act of treason
My heart goes out to the family and friends
Of the souls that met their untimely end
My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight
As you try to find solace in this plight
As to the ones who witnessed this attack
I know it will be a long time to bounce back
My thoughts and prayers are with you too
My family and I will pray for you.
Lord take care of these souls
Let them succeed in their new roles
Lord hear my prayer
Lord hear everybody's prayer
Duane LaChance
December 14, 2012

Grief can be many things.
Losing some of their nearest
A father, mother, sister, brother, or his own child
A while back, death was taboo
We did not talk about it
Grief you should wear alone
We are all different,
providing each our way
Different cultures and ways of life
We have become a little more open in our grief
share our grief with others.
if we share our grief,
it becomes a little easier to bear
But it is still there,
you as a fellow human
dare to hug not turn youself away
even though other cries
Rather wipe the tear away
* Four weeks ago disappeared a 16 year old girl here in Norway,
No trace of her ...
Major exploration crew every day.
Yesterday they found her ..... dead - killed.
For a grieving family must bear.
Such things happen every day
04. September 2012
A-L Andresen :)

When I think of my dear Aunt Sheila
A great big smile comes across my face
You see, no matter what the circumstances in life
Her will would never break
Compassionate love she gave to all
Evident in all of her blissful ways
Family was first, this I know for sure
In all of her caring days
Oh my dear Aunt Sheila had herself a wit
With a smile at least a mile long
Whether she was conversing with friends or family
Heck even listening to a good ol' country song
Mother, Aunt, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Grandma and GG-all terms
But one describes her just right
A beautiful soul always to be missed
An angel living in heavenly sunlight
Go be with Jesus my dearest Aunt
Let your smile brighten Heavens gate
For we know we shall see you again
In Paradise-where you await

Treasure Chest of Memories
Cleaning out my closet a chore this is sure to be. A day at best to dig through this stuff packed and stacked to the ceiling. Now, where to start and what to keep! Might as well start here at the top and get moving.
What on earth was I thinking to bring this home, out it goes? This looks like a keeper; it goes over here. This is cute I think I’ll keep it too. When did I get this; I don’t even remember it must not be too important, it can go too.
Now for my treasure chest filled with special things. A breathless moment as I open the lid and spot things; treasures from my past. Oh so many beautiful memories packed in here and tucked safely away in my heart as well. Time slows down as I savor each moment in time each of these treasures brings back to me.
I can’t believe this, it’s still so beautiful. Oh my God just look at this; it was my baby girls! I will always have her in my heart and treasure chest too. This is perfect, I remember this too! I had hoped this day would never end. This was the most special thing ever given to me; I remember crying in secret with pure joy.
This cut through my heart and left such a scar, I knew life would never be the same! I can’t believe at times I survived my very own life. Tears now stinging, no falling down my face; partly joy, partly sadness! This treasure chest holds so many memories; none of which I can part with.
I know these will always be with me buried inside my heart and tucked inside this chest. My mind will always remember each one of these, some sad, some happy but all are mine to remember!
Debbie Knapp.

My Grandfather
High-backed chair facing the corner,
Window over books so cherished
Loved.
Like the greatest of scholars, but still humble
He was a trove of stories
Air of silence on a place once full
Of stories from a time past,
A time of honor and courage and duty
Of country and spirit; fighting an enemy
Made from indescribable evil.
Tales of valor, sand, and bullets
Lions and machine guns, young men in battle
Fighting for their lives.
Knowing the enemy was like a jackal
Cruel and twisted, an army of evil
He witnessed it all
First hand, in the heat of the day
And cold of night. Tales passed on, spoken
In a way that conveyed such knowledge
That one was to sit in amazement, and hear it
Firsthand from the chair facing the corner.
Like a throne of deep thought.
The day he left this world, I wept.
Seeing him not but a day before,
It was harder than I could have imagined.
The pain is real, but so were the memories
And so the legacy of the veteran lives on.
The chair sat vacant, but I felt him there.
The books on the shelf, the other treasures
Left behind held him here on earth
While the memories anchored him in our hearts.
The man in the chair shall never be forgotten
And the stories shall pass far into the generations.

The dear lost Grandmother
While roaming through my Memories
And thinking through and through
And Trying and Remembering
My First memory was You
A Withered frame once held your face
And transferred to my hand
Your backdrop gave angelic grace
My own image wet
So as I laid in feverish dreams
Without hope to live
And just as soon as crisis cleared
I saw you in my sleep
I know you showed Idealism
Truly frivolous at Heart
Without a speck of Realism
And Debts stretched Far Apart
Your thoughts still glowed Very Bright
Complex Ideas flowed
And so with Great Illustrious light
Your Acumen had Grown
Dad knew your hair shone Flaxen
Your Eyes Great skies of Blue
Although there was no way
He could have known you
You die when he was still a Babe
Three months to be Precise
And Yet to him you still remain
Great Vision to His eyes
Soon after giving Birth to him
Or so I am told
You’ve fallen deathly mortally ill
While waiting in the Cold
And Patiently you waited
For One to take you home
Just as my Father stated
The wait was just Too Long
It placed on you a dangerous strain
With Consequence Severe
With you receiving so late
We lost your Being dear
I wish he could Prolong your stay
But yet this isn’t true
And while You in Heaven lay
I always think of you

The"tail" I have to tell, starts off really sad.
My sweet doggie Murphy died and my heart, it hurt so bad.
Until one day in early spring, I got a call that made my heart sing!
There were some puppies born in Waco, the daddy -Jasper, and mommy- Juneau.
Four little boys, three little girls. But the picture of one boy, made my heart twirl!
So I waited for a week or two, to meet my little puppy-oh so new!
I named him Humphrey, such a handsome boy! He has brought laughter back and oh what a joy! He's super cute, and very smart. Many would say, he's a work of art!
He's learning new tricks, and how to potty outside. So many rules to learn and abide!
Humphrey is growing so quickly, the puppy breath will soon disappear. He will be an adult in less than a year! Every stage of his life is a blessing from above. I guess that's the true meaning of what we call "puppy love".

The Old Salt was a special man who came along in a time
when he was needed most.
A time that is now gone forever.
When men believed and sacrificed, when hero’s walked the earth in mass.
When patriotism was not just a word
but,
by what men lived and judged the worth of each,
a man who lived a life most of us cannot comprehend.
An era now gone as this warriors tour of duty ends at this station,
and begins anew in the heavenly fleet.
Sail on Sailor into your unaccompanied tour,
we salute you.
What greater honor, that when a man moves forward,
he leaves behind in each of us the best of what he was.
A defender, protector, supporter, victor, a warrior,
the last of the breed from an era when ships were made of wood
and men were made of steel.
The Old Salt has reported for duty that takes him away from us for now.
Those of us who remain behind,
remember, and will continue to remember,
because he now resides forever in our hearts.
As I look up at night, I envision The Old Salt,
a beret draped just above the eye,
as he draws upon his pipe,
quietly he waits.
The guardian of heaven’s gate.

Land of the free
Home of the slaves
The blood, sweat and tears of my ancestors resonate
Amongst the soil where they were slain
I’m hearing their struggle
I’m feeling their pain
I can’t imagine being forced to part from my family
All for massa’s gain
So I pay homage to those who promoted change
People like every slave who tried to escape
Nat Turner, Ms Carlotta, Harriet Tubman
And the safe houses who were in accord
And peg leg Joe with his song
Follow the drinking gourd.
People like, the disregarded - those thrown overboard
And who was dismissed and defamed
The ones who were stripped of their soul, their pride, their names
The list could go on
The full will never be told
So I pay homage to others who were bold
Like John Brown, The Freedom Riders, Sojourner Truth
Ida B Wells, Phyllis Wheatley, Maya Angelou,
Langston Hughes and Charles Drew
George Washington Carver, Ruby Bridges
Booker T Washington and Mary McCleod Bethune
Charles Houston, Ralph Bunche, Fredrick Douglass
WEB Dubois, Paul Robeson, Ralph Abernathy
Benjamin Banneker, Marcus Garvey and Crispus Attucks
Who’s death by the way
Symbolized the American lie
You cant declare the rights of all men
While the people of African decent rights get denied
But still we rise
Thanks to Dr Martin Luther King, Malcolm X,
The Black Panthers, the Buffalo Soldiers and Tuskegee Airmen
None who were showed any love
Yeah it’s an uphill battle,
But obviously greatness can be done.
We can rise above this stigma
That blacks are lazy and daunting
That our worth is null and void
And in essence minus nothing
And of all the names mentioned
And the greatness of their successes
No one has been able to erase the evil transgressions of a racist mind
And once you have experienced just a taste of it
It changes your perception of time
The oppression beats like the drum on the chariot
Of when it was finally time to escape to freedom
It's mine

The Bully
27 Years ago, you showed me the door,
Because I wouldn’t do what you wanted anymore.
That day was the worst of my life,
I wanted to die, to escape the strife.
All I needed was a simple letter,
To give me a chance to get better.
Now when I look back and see, you certainly did
me a favour that day.
In 1986 Thursday the first of May.
From then on people listened to what I had to say,
Doctors and Nurses went out or their way,
I got the treatment I needed at last,
Bit by bit they went over the past.
One whole year is all it took,
A lot of hard work, a little luck.
To this very day I have never been back,
26 whole years and that’s a fact.
The last few years have been the best of my life,
Truly content being a Mother and Wife.
And Nanny as well,
Must not let my head swell,
A collection of poems all written by me..
My story in 7 magazines for the whole world to see.
A whole new extension to the house designed by me.
Also having to cope with the death of my mother,
Then four months later the death of my mother’s sister,
God not another.
Having my kitchen demolished completely,
did put me in a fix.
But being so well, even that couldn’t knock me for six.
So remember the next time someone begs you for a letter,
At least give THEM, the chance to get better.
For as long as I live I will never for get that terrible day,
Thursday 1986 the first of May,
The day that you showed me the door,
Just because I wouldn’t do what you wanted anymore.
They say that time heals all pain,
I’m lucky I’ve learnt to live again.

I fly in the sky
I swim in the sea
I sleep in the night
And in the trees I live
The forest once was my home
That I always cherished
For me and every one
Who lived on this beautiful heaven?
Coming into the flame of fire
Together with my family
Helps me to remember and tell to all
That has caused the dead of all?
Came five days ago
Three to four men
With something in there mind known as the plan
To destroy what was known as our home
Came few men
After few days
To destroy us all together with the forest
To clear the land
They lighted the fire
They parked some big bulldozers
To clear the trees and removes the stones
After everything is burnt by the flames of the fire
Together with my family
Praying to the god as one
To forgive our sin
And tell the reason for this everything
Nothing I heard from up
But something from down
As few men said
For the development, let happen this destruction

June 18, 2013 our world was Forever Changed
We where a few minutes from home
When we got the call from our baby sister
Said we need to get back home
We need to come as fast as we can drive
Mom really needs us
Something’s wrong with Daddy
The whole way we drove 80
Hoping & Praying we’d make it back in time
Our Family & Friends were weeping
By the time we got to his side
We knew then our Daddy had been taking
And our hearts they were breaking
We never got to say Goodbye
We each softly kissed that man
We four sisters climbed in his bed
We laid down beside him
And cried just like babies
For our world was Forever Changed

GROUND ZERO
Today as I stand here,
With your name engraved not just on stone
But in the hearts of millions who thank you
For not letting them cry,
I feel proud that it was you…
We wish you were here,
There’s not a day we don’t think of you.
There’s not a minute we don’t miss you.
But we’re glad you ran into death
So that a thousand others could walk into life.
It was not your duty,
You weren’t meant to be there,
But you took it up,
Did what you had to do
As a citizen of the global world.
The little ones will never know
What a wonderful person you were.
But they’ll always know that
You were a hero…
How you died for the greater good…
Tears, grief, pride, longing - a blend of everything.
Its been ten years, ten long years
But the memory’s still fresh and cutting.
It still hurts to know
That you could be here had you stayed back.
But you didn’t and that’s made you a hero.
You ran straight into it
While a thousand others were running away.
Your death is history….
Millions died with you
But you stand out ‘coz you made your choice.
As I stand here, I know that a decade ago, today
You were here somewhere,
Running into a cloud of dust and ashes
Searching for the smallest sign of movement
To bring them back to life.
Somewhere between the despair and hope
You forgot to breathe…
I pray every day that
History would rewind itself
Back to that fateful September morning,
Not because I want to hold you back…
But because I want to come with you…
It would have made a difference.
I know it would have…
I know you’re with me
In my dreams, in my daily life
Laughing at my blunders,
Guiding me through hardships.
My guardian angel…
On this September morning,
Not exactly the same as before,
Here I am telling the world
That my twin brother died
Saving the victims of 9/11.

Sarah Johnson is, and will always be a cold, heartless murderer. She has no empathy for what she did to both of her own parents, Diane and Alan Johnson. Her friends and family can't even believe that a sweet girl would kill both of her own parents over some guy. They knew that Sarah wasn't supposed to get into this so-called "serious relationship" with this guy named Bruno Santos. The illegal immigrant was three years older than her, especially when he is still known for having a criminal history. It's sad to hear that Mr. and Mrs. Johnson had to die that soon. The entire Johnson family had their lives ahead of them. Sarah Johnson is a heartless liar, an assassin, and on top of all that, she has no soul. The girl was afraid that both of her parents would go to the police and have her so-called "boyfriend" arrested and charged for statutory rape, so Miss Johnson killed them. Now, that was a cowardly move. The reason why Sarah Johnson had killed both of her own parents (mother and father) is because for one, they were going to send him straight to jail for dating a then-sixteen-year-old and they grounded her for life, as in, "indefinitely." Everybody, including her brother, knows that Sarah has no heart and no soul. But in the end, I guess society is better off with Sarah Marie Johnson in prison for the rest of her life. And as far as the citizens of Bellevue, Idaho, her family and her high school friends are concerned, prison is where she belongs. She wasn't abused by both of her parents, but I still can't believe she killed them in cold blood. Now that's what everybody's talking about: a cold, calculates sociopath with no remorse for what she did and had felt no empathy. Sarah Johnson will always be remembered as a bad woman with a selfish ego. And if all types of homicides (matricide, fratricide, and/or parricide) continue to increase, there's no telling what bad thing might happen next.

~The Empty Ocean~
She drowned in an empty ocean because she wasn't prepared
to reveal the truth about some events that occurred during those
very sad moments of truth,her brother that she hadn't seen for
30 years, just disappeared in three weeks, ceaseless,died alone.
She drowned in an empty ocean to carry her emotional feelings
after attending a mass given in his name,a name,no,its her flesh
and blood,she will miss him,his picture is printed in her heart.
Searching for forgiveness as she felt angry,maybe her mourning
was so intense she would have expected someone to come and hold
her,or even hold her hand,she was in such deep pain wanting a
shoulder to lay her head on,sharing,even a look would have been
enough for her that day,she lost him forever,the moment of truth
was announced in church, he is dead.
Drowning in an empty ocean was only to allow herself find some
peace on her own,she was determined to understand what
happened to the human race?don't they know how to respect
the dead?don't they know how to whisper instead of speaking
so loud,don't they feel how sadness surrounds the family.
His son projected pictures on the wall taken when he was alive with
all of them,he wanted his guests to meet his father, a grandfather
to his kids, a brother, a wonderful husband to his mum,he tried so
many times to tell them,look up this is me & my brother with
my dad, come to know him.
Yes, they looked for a fraction of a second and grabbed the food in
there plates and kept eating the whole evening.
Children running around as if in a playground,mothers and fathers
were starting to crack jokes and laughing as if they were in a comedy
theater instead of respecting the dead or the real mourners,a voice
was heard,my head is spinning my ears cant take it anymore,I am
dead but my image is alive,hug my son instead,wipe his tears away,
allow him to feel the sincerity in your presence,help him to feel the
real love, as now he is on his own,I am gone.
Suddenly,its so peaceful,she heard the echo of her tears dripping quicker
faster and faster as they wanted to fill the ocean to save her instantly,
her feet felt wet,she moved saw a silhouette of a fish breathing again
her thoughts thought,the unconditional giving to rescue her,came from
her own tears.She needed to rest and wish the last goodbye to her brother.Separation hurts.His memory will live.
Written: By Therese Bacha.
14/5/2013 Contest for PD. Surprise Me With A Poem I Haven't Read.

Open your eyes to the ever turning skies
I want to here with me through the night
My heart yearns into your soul
Burning as if newly lit coal
I bravely submerg the embers
That the time I have can be spent with you
And I remember each kiss every moment
I was caught in your love that for just this day I remember
So what happened was a chance for your love
A time that I kept in a locket tied with a kiss
I wanted you to feel, to love, to slumber
And to awake in my arms with that times kept bliss
I lay silient in an umber

Hi. If you are reading this letter, then i know my wife has chosen you. This is to serve as my last writing directed to you after my death. Please note she has never read this letter. I would like to welcome you and thank you for choosing her over all the beautiful women in the world. I hardly know you but I'm willing to trust and respect your presence in her life and that you'll bring nothing but joy. Strongly i hope you feel exactly the same as she does, after all she chose to give you this letter. No one can replace our love, but that does not mean you should build a bridge between my past life with her. Do not attempt reshuffling her heart, empathy, sensitivity or replacing what i planted in her heart. Our tree of love will continue growing. Please take good care of her heart as it’s not billable.
Her tears of joy are always ready to explode. Every night has been a page in our love book. So please do not change the theme as you will be forced to adjust the ending. I so much wanted to continue writing our book but i had to off ramp my journey with her as the cancer was forcefully blocking my way. She doesn't know that. My fingerprints on her smiles never got damaged and the footsteps i wrote on her body never sounded fictional. If you look at the corner of her lips she owns no dark secrets. She gets rewarded for every risk she puts her family in. Her wheelchair has never had a flat tire, but if it does please contact bible services on psalm they fix everything.
What i noticed is that she loved checking up the Christianity call centres within the bible phone book. The numbers will never change, only agents do so keep encouraging her to make calls. She used to randomly open the book and choose a page with her eyes closed. Even though she sometimes looked lost she always found the right pages. I hope it’s not too much to ask, but please allow her to visit on our birthday and that's every three days before the New Year. That is the only time i could turn to the other side on my grave. Plus the funeral cover promised us non of its pillows in my coffin. Do not make yes an answer to every call made by my parents. We owe them nothing, infect i haven’t spoken to them in ten years.
With all that said she will blow your mind if you let her.
Thank you

Inundating radiant sunshine beams
down on my face
fervently tracing crows feet
nearing the frown I can taste
obliterating tear streaks
transmitting them
into the depths of outer space
introducing an iridescent spectrum
of piercing waves
golden ears fear in the race
Electromagnetic oscillation
inspiring me to rely
religiously
upon solar energy
photosynthesis
eradicating unwanted toxins
by chasing them
vehemently
So on this sacred date of "ONE"…
negative energy is trumped
by the positive tsunami
of the sun
and as she dares me
to stare into her face of grace
ninety three million miles away…
I sigh
as her radiance blasts my face
in such a merciful way
suddenly my shaking knees
give way to an epiphany
that this day is laced with sanctity
Finally
the world's eyes feast upon
an auspicious
uniformed alignment
five ones standing side by side
gold adorned
a spiritual aspirant
making change the world will see...
"The Sun's Seven"
pronouncing a unified spirituality

* Entrance for P.d.'s "Unique Line" Contest-----This poem's title is unique "A Day of Ones In the Sun" because it describes a very special and unique calendar date 11-1-1. But if you missed it...
don't worry or let your eyes get blurry with tears
cus' 11-11 's comin' in a hurry to relinquish your fears.....so yes there will be another day of ones on 11-11-1! tho' I can't promise you at the Soup that the 11th will be filled with sun!------I believe my poetry, like many others on this amazing site, has a fresh variety, inspired by life and everything in it! I hope you enjoy my lines like :"the world's eyes feast upon
an auspicious
uniformed alignment
five ones standing side by side
gold adorned
a spiritual aspirant"

a tearful dedication to my lifelong brother, mentor, and friend Adam~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~aug.5, 1964-may 4, 2012
I owe you better than this...You were Heaven sent...
Eyes cascade tears I cry
do you know Y? A. U.C.H. ~ (Y. A.ren't U. C.hillin' H.ere?)
I cry dry...
my ACE of spades, i miss you kid
my mentor
my man
my ILL-est friend
my Superman
my M.C.A.
why'd you have to fly, you'll never die...i cry i cry
the pen leaks
i sink
it stinks it stings i cry i cry
side by side we were A.L.I.V.E.
tho' i can hear Dechen cry, wipe tears from Lo's eye
wings you glide
the rhymes we rhymed, you and i
G -S.O.N. the sky, too short yir' time
the moon should refuse to shine
Losing your duty's shredding my mind i cry i cry
you remain so kind transcending your ending line
I CRY this way I crY I crY and I just do not own the right words to say, just as mc's squared you cared this way
you shared melodies but now this sky's gone to Red from Grey,
i must make it anyway,
but trust when I say
I love you MCA!
* I'm running into walls without you...

I pray for mother
Mother!
You could have stayed
Forever was my longing
Oh mother!
Does it really have to be you?
Mothers are too special to lose
You gave me life mother
You raised me into a man I am today
I will forever be grateful to you
Out of nothing, you gave me food
Out of nothing, you clothed me
Out of nothing, you sent me to school
Oh mother!
You were the best
In your shadow I had shade
You called me Father.
For I carried grandfather’s name
Now I understand how special I was to you
You felt grandfather in me
Who will ever call me that again?
I forbid my thoughts to go deep
For the deeper it goes, the deeper it hurts
I can still hear your voice mother
I can still see you in my dreams
You left without saying good-bye,
Were you mad at me mother?
Deep in my heart, you will always have a home
My sisters and brothers are heartbroken
They are all grown up
But they still need you Mother
Do you still remember your grandchildren?
The youngest is not yet a year old
She will never see your beautiful smile mother
You could have waited
So she does something for you
Fetch water or call you grandmother
We all miss you mother
It’s hard to know you are never coming back
One after another
We will join you mother
We are not afraid of death any more
For we have a place with you
God almighty will meet us someday
Then I will see you for myself again
We will talk and laugh
Just like we used too
Now you live in a far away land
We can’t change that, not even God almighty
I will teach my heart to live without you mother
Though it is hard
I will learn to miss you
I will learn to live without you
But I will never forget you
It’s the body I will never see
Your time is gone Mother
Now you live in a new world
There you will never grow old
There you will never die
I have peace in my heart
For I am reconciled by God’s mercy
My father in heaven comforted me
Now I know you are happy there
The pain I felt
The pain that tortured me
Will never torment me again
You departed with all my tears
With all my strength
With all my hope
And with all my faith
But God gave me a thousand reasons to smile
In am now back on track
Rest in peace dear mother,
It was the will of God
Who am I to question him?
I never did when you were given to me
And somehow I knew this day will come
Let his name be exalted
We meet again Mother
This I know.

Native, Liteskin, sun kissed
smiles
sit, talk, get to know me
a while
for I am not my skin and
even though the tan pigment
runs deep
I am my heart, thoughts
and actions,reflection of
company
I keep
A car accident took
my Homies brother this morning
and as we sit and talk to him
now, through faded room mourning
Young man, stole pop’s keys
from sleeping pockets
joy riding with friends
headlights beaming, MN
summer star sky gleaming
Dad's unaware, boy & friends left
till woke, by early morn’ meeting
God opened the skies and took
two good ones away
I felt it rained, clouds crying briefly
for them today
70 miles an hour, Murderapolis streets
took two good homies heartbeats
jus’ a mile away, a close
friend heard the tires screech
Driver yells to him, “get a knife & cut me out!”
Neighbor, like doe eyes in headlights
filled with doubt
ends up dying after all
at the hospital
down 29th Ave and McKinley St.
Two of the Five Souls involved
God, now, does keep
I recall seeing the drivers smile
less than one week ago
why Mista Watkins & White Jr.
was it yo’ time to go
your loved ones may never know
We don’t always understand
the Lords plan
but He surely knows
heartache and sorrow
is how July fourteenth does go
two significant young Southside sons
at 3:30 am, drove into a utility pole
crushed glass ridden streets
two homies, with us no mo’
I pray Jesus be with them
and theirs
as they grieve, and friends
surround them with the love
they need
car accidents & tragedies
like these
close to home to you
tend to place things in perspective
defrost a persons mind
set it into view
cuz’ its not about the color, of
your skin, or where you came from
it’s the way you impact the world
in the end, who you’ve grown to
become
the lives lost, were good peoples
Stood for good values like Church steeples
vibrant athletic youths of the future
barely 14 & 17, gone too soon
I hear the sad, cry, lonely night of our
Loon
Murderapolis streets, claim
two more young heartbeats
you will forever be remembered
and loved, keep an eye on us
from above, we know you’re
in a better place, were all running
an impossible to win race
for we all have a time card to punch
under the Lords undying grace
your Influence and charm, young men
is locked within us
Safe
and we shall all party again
in the Kingdom of Heaven
our final resting Place
7/15/2010: R.I.P.- Patrick Watkins (17) & Duane White Jr. (14)- South Side, Minneapolis, MN
you are forever loved and missed, but not forgotten, watch us from Heaven, Amen

Cont. from Part 3
Three months now, no trace of Sam has ever been found to this very day
I think he was an angel from above, I don’t know what else to say
I hope he’s at home in Heaven with God and his beautiful wife
I believe he was sent to teach me a lesson and to share with me his life
If you see someone in need don’t just walk on by, please don’t treat them so unfair
When you pass them- stop - give them a smile, send them a heartfelt prayer
Try to help someone else, the best that you possibly can
Always try to remember... this isn't where their homeless life began
_______________________________________________________________
I felt very privileged to have met this kind man
But so saddened by his heartfelt story
Was he an angel sent from God?
I don't know, I only know I met a very, special man...
a man named Sam
___________________________________________________
***Dedicated to Sam***

Head hung low, I walk the street-
Timid to feel the hangman's loss-
Every step on my blistered feet-
Takes me closer to, the Christian cross-
With every second, my soul does exhaust-
Heat-ridden cheeks from tears I cry-
Hide my eyes my shame is discreet-
Explain to me God, why must I die?
You say the hunger game I did cheat-
I see on that hangman's rope your hands across-
How close I was to starvation beat-
Why must I die for naught but sauce-
On bread instead of my usual moss-
I hope you see my little child cry-
Although to you unjust is a treat-
Hold him God on the day he will die-
With my head hung low, I walk the street-
My family will feel the hangman;s loss-
No more will I walk upon these blistered feet-
Family go, live your life by the Christian Cross-
For my soul is tired, don't let your life exhaust-
My dear sweet loved ones there is no need to cry-
No more reason for you to stand all so discreet-
I am happy at last, on the day that I die-
I will live the rest of my life upon a Christian's Cross-
These murderers relax themselves on their own lie-
In a few short moments I won't feel anymore loss-
I will lift up my head and all so proudly I will die-

Judas betrayed Jesus’s whereabouts
End, was near
Son of God, knew this
Universe of the Son of the Divine Father, restored
Sins of man forgiven, Prince of our Universal domain, alive in the hearts of his children

The straw making the base of the basket stayed there.
She bent to pick up the heavier of the stones
put them in her pockets
and began to bruise the tops of her thighs.
She was so angry that her plan had failed;
beating herself harder now
with her free hand until tears came
as they always did.
Later
smiling
against the chill of evening
she laid out her now washed beautiful stones.
Around the place mummy is.
That night
under fluorescent plastic stars
she remembered her Dad's smile
before he had pulled her door to.
As the whispers of sleep nudged her
she forgot
just a bit more easily
how dark and cold it had been.

May God Comfort You...
I'm sorry to hear about your loved one passing away.
I know that in heaven, you shall
be with him someday.
Life's adversities are at times hard to explain.
Sometimes, very quickly,
circumstances can change.
I pray that through your loss, sorrow and pain.
You'll find comfort and joy in Jesus' name.
May his arms of tender
mercy and grace,
bring love to your heart and
a smile on your face.
May God's presence bring an
assurance to your soul,
knowing that God is with you no
matter where you go.
Through all that's happened, I pray you will find.
God's wonderful joy, his comfort
and a peace of mind.
On the stormy seas of life,
with God, you shall prevail.
His promises and love for
you will never, never fail.
By Jim Pemberton

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;
My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;
I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;
Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;
I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.
Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~

In the summer of 2007, God received an angel.
The Angels name was Katie.
Katie was sweet & Katie was good
But I guess God wanted sweet old Katie
Out of the hood.
She did all she could, she gave all she had
But never in her life treated anyone bad.
Jesus, I know that she’s good
I know that she is great
But sometimes I just hate,
Hate that she is gone
Hate that she is away
I think about her everyday.
Everyone & Everything is changing
Family is falling apart,
Oh why it’s breaking my heart.
Tearing the house down acting like pure clowns
God you got a gift
But sometimes I wish,
Wish you hadn’t took my Angel
Wish you would have let her stay a little longer.
God received an Angel.
The Angels name was Katie
I hope Katie is with me daily
Until I die & visit her in the sky
House is up wholesale, everyone thinking
“WHAT THE HELL”
Angels, Angels, Angels
Angels flying here, Angels flying there
Angels are flying around just about any & everywhere
You took a couple of my families angels in strange ways
I get up in the morning wondering when is my day
& who will be next to depart us.
My heart was broken when you took my Angel
Oh, why did you have to take her,
Her out of all people
She followed the rules and the laws
But I am wondering is that all.

His family pretended not to cry
But both his sisters had no heart to spare;
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie.
The blazing sun one summer day drew nigh;
Its orange radiance it could not share.
His family pretended not to cry.
There was a man in hell beneath that sky--
Discerning now that care, like warmth, was rare.
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie.
All that his soul could utter was a sigh;
The shattered saints in Heaven said Lord's Prayer.
His family pretended not to cry.
Like sunlight, his disease bore down to dry
Emotions spent without concern or care.
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie.
Upon the desert ground he lay to die--
Addiction was much more than he could bear.
His family pretended not to cry;
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie.

My ancestors came here long ago
Tough and strong not weak
But somewhere down along the line
Something went terribly wrong
And now I have to sit here and deal with my legacy
Of not what I thought it would be
Not where I choose to be right now
The legacy that’s me.
I can’t escape the past
The memories seem to last
Of the horrors of what has come before
The graveyard is the place
I can see it on my face
My family’s legacy of suicide
is haunting me.
My generational legacy
Is it going to kill me
Or will it just let sleeping dogs lie
And allow me to exist
Will it allow me to just to see
The me that I am meant to be
To live beyond my years
To grow beyond the tears
To handle all my fears
To defy what could have been
My legacy.
(November 13, 2010 Wausau, Wisconsin)
(c) Copyright 2010 by Christine A Kysely, All Rights Reserved

I got really sick
Or else I was old,
I need to go now
My owners were told.
It happened so quick
I just went to sleep,
I hurt no longer
My owners would weep.
I went to heaven
And barked at the door,
"Please let me come in"
"I can play once more.
I know my owners
Are really so sad,
I usually was good
Yet sometimes was bad.
I had a good home
For that I was blessed,
I'll seem them again
When they lay to rest.

MY CHILD, I SPEAK TO YOU FROM THE GRAVE
I AM YOUR MOTHER, A BLACK WOMAN OF PRESTIGE
YOUR FATHER ABANDONED US
EAT, DRINK FROM MY WOMB
NOURISHED MY NUTRIENTS OF FRUITS
I CAN'T GIVE YOU LIFE, MY CHILD
I DON'T WON'T YOU BORN
I FEEL THE FETUS OF YOU GROWING INSIDE OF ME
LIFE IS WHAT YOU NOT TO SEE OF ME
THE EMBYRO OF YOU IS GONE
ALL MY SEEDS IS DESTOYED FROM YOU
YOU HAVE NO NAME
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
HEAR MY VOICE, MY CHILD
I'M SPEAKING TO YOU FROM MY WOMB
YOUR LIFE WILL BE GONE
YOUR BIRTH FLUSHED FROM MY BODY
LOOK UP AT ME, MY CHILD FROM MY WOMB
I AM NO LONGER YOUR MOTHER
YOU ARE NOW A UNBORN CHILD

It was a green semi-dry oak leaf,
last and youngest of the family.
She did not want to fall
as she stared at the heinous wind
on a cold night in late fall
Maybe it was best to jump down,
since it’s been long
after her family bade farewell.
“Oh loneliness!” she mused, “you’re unbearable”
“I can not breath, nor can I smell”
Pretty soon, a squirreled showed up
hungry but,gleeful.
“Oh God! why do you look so scared?”
he asked in all his mischievous curiosity
She replied,”I’m an orphan,lonely and snared.”
“Wind is treacherous and life is no fun any more.”
“No! don’t say that li’l leaflet.”
“You are so fresh,but rookie,” said the squirrel,
“You’ll have many friends in rest of your life”
“What is a friend?” asked the leaf
while her desire to learn was rife
“A friend is a warm hand,
clutching your hand in depth of the storm…
A friend is the one who cried
once your heart writhed in pain,” said the squirrel
The tiny leaf smiled as her tears dried
“So, do you feel my agony in my heart now?”
“I truly do!” replied the squirrel
Just then a gust pulled and drifted the leaf away
The squirrel shed tears as repined
while she yelled “Do not cry, squirrel!”
“Now, at least I have a friend behind”

precious cargo
princess in making
those precise green eyes
the colors of fall
completed with poise
your presence remains
reminiscing on those mornings-
you'd follow me round-
without a sound-
no expectation-
but with the unconditional
limitation.
final breaths within my arms
silent suffocating
death sure appears cruel
Rest in peace Belle. 16 years old <3 I love you.

If I had just one day to live
24 hours to feel complete
Would I race across the castle of my dreams
Hunted by the echo of the tick tock clock
Dreading the moment that fateful tune came to a halt
Chasing down runaway thoughts
Frantically piecing together broken promises
All while fearing the silence, the end of the tick, tock;
Rather
I would gaze up at the steps of this sky high castle
This floating montage of my life
And lounge upon the first step,
Resigned to enjoy these fated moments
Without fear or regret,
Resigned to enjoy this melody with those I love
This farewell tune played to me by the tick tock clock.

He was just a simple man
An uncle, a son, a brother
Too soon was his untimely death
Just a year after his mother's
Just a simple man indeed
Another so-called "minority"
His death wasn't important enough
Not the cop's priority
The officer assumed it accidental
Without following procedure
It must have been too much to ask
To take him from his leisure
No news or press of his tragic death
This simple man was worth no mention
Perhaps if his skin were lighter in shade
The media might have paid attention
And so his killer keeps his freedom
Escaping man's judgment and retribution
While his family mourns his loss
Without justice or restitution
Who will be held accountable?
Who will make amends?
Will there be Earthly justice
For his family and friends?
In memory of my uncle, Troy Laracuente.

< he took the fall
dressed blues call now
hearts wall skips beat
Written by Katherine Stella 8/7/11
A Than-Bauk, conventionally a witty saying or epigram, is a three line "climbing rhyme" poem of Burmese origin. Each line has four syllables.
The rhyme is on the fourth syllable of the first line, the third syllable of the second line, and the second syllable of the third line.
Tribute To U.S Marine Corps
Hu RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I was in a field near Maitland, just wading through this rain
and I'm feeling about as ragged as my jeans
Mali went home to lay down just before this rain
started spinning this old man's mind back into a dream
so I pulled my wood flute from my dirty red bandanna
and played it softly as I learned to sing the blues
didn't hear the words or see the lies just held Mali's hand in mine
We must have sung every song this grand-pa knew
Dreaming is just another word for nothing left to lose
Nothing means everything because this life it ain't free
And feeling good was so easy, Lord, Till I sang the blues
In real life feeling good was good enough for me
From her fast track to play time, she loved laying in the sun
That's where we could discuss the secrets in our souls
Through clear and stormy weather, arguments and the fun
Yeah, this blue eyed baby girl kept grampa from the cold
On a clear day near Amplatz, Lord, I felt her slip away
You knew she went to look for her Big Bro, I know Liam found her
I'd gladly trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday
If I could be holding that precious Mali on my knee
To remember is yet another word in this life some must lose
Dreams, hope and deep faith that's what Mali left me
Speak often to all who cross and you will realize who is free
Learning this together was good enough for me and Mali McGee

To my girls
I want you to know
That I see you
As equals on every level
Not just my daughters
My little pink princesses
I see you as young women
Powers within this world
With oceans to offer
A lifetime still to learn.
Live your lives
As though I was still with you
Be free and fearless
For you can see
Life is so short
Take all opportunities
And shape them to your dreams
You have all the tools
And I will be watching over you
Be good to one another
There are only two of you
The strength between sisters
Is a bond for life.
Your analytic minds
Will help you make good decisions
Fair and just rewards will ensue.
Your radiating hearts
Will gift you many friendships
Maybe special love
All in good time.
You will never be alone
For you have a deep sense of self
This will be fortified
With my passing
Your feet firmly planted
Will serve you well
Balancing the ups and downs
because that's how life is.
Always be true to yourself
Life will be true to you too.
Do not mourn my death
I am not going far away.
My illness has progressed
My time is nigh
There is a greater plan
One we cannot see
But we have had a great life
As mother and daughters
Our journeys together
live on in our memories.
My loves
I will hold you safe
In my heart
Now and forever
I will always be with you.

i prefer them bitten off =center
(a slow lick on a hard knife edge)
a shecat sparkling like pinwheels
on the silky hilltops of waterbeds..
the ones that make you obsess -why they're one hour
-five minutes
late
why their mascaras messy,
making you waife their cologned necks,
checking for that strange strong scent
turn you into some kind of burning,paronoid
jittery flake.
i like'em a little mousy,a little off the
beat
a chick that can spit with class
kick the living MAN outta me...
A fireball that contorts and concocts,
attends to every want and need...
(ya know what i mean?)
hum-ta-dum...ta-dum... ta-dee
but in the end what I really need
what we all need
is
periwinkle
predicatability
a crisco oiled apron
the one mamma used to don
a lullaby in the quiet cove of a racing mind
reminding me of {dead} mother's...
undivided attention...
way back in Crayola Crayon time

They’ve traveled from one house to another.
Some may say they’re strong enough to go on
Without a woman to call their mother.
Attachment is pointless, soon to be gone.
Another house that will never be home.
Little children crying themselves to sleep,
wondering where they will be next to roam.
All they can do is to hope and to weep.
Will they love me enough now, I wonder.
Shall I go away or shall I stay here?
At night, I can still hear the loud thunder
of his footsteps drawing so very near.
Though I may never find my one true home,
For love, I’ve found- I’m no longer alone.

-------------------------------
I stand beside these tangled roots
of this ever changing clock-wood tree.
Where streams of ink, like dander fluff,
cling to my pen in congealed thought.
I will tread cautiously 'cross this matted sheath,
with the unsure step of weary feet.
Confusion, an utterance of un-trained words,
delivered from the beaks of travelled birds.
‘We strive to live, though live to die!’,
the loud and boisterous blue jay's cry.
Kind hearted sparrow, bright chickadee,
Their soulful song, of clemency.

Another rainy Memorial weekend,
there’s no promise of the sun.
I’m sorry for the folks who’d planned
a little camping fun.
But my task will go forward
with umbrella and raincoat.
I’ll get those graves all covered,
if I have to use a boat.
The first one was for my daddy,
back in nineteen fifty three.
I could not know how many more
family graves I’d live to see.
The next one’s for my young husband.
It was dug in sixty two.
In seventy five my darling mother
died and her grave was brand-new.
Tears for a granddaughter in seventy nine
and for a nephew that year too.
In the year of nineteen eighty
my brother followed those two.
Then we had a short hiatus.
It was not ‘til ninety-four
that another brother was laid there.
Then we counted one grave more.
The next year we gathered once again,
when my second husband died.
He missed the sorrow of ninety-seven,
when it was for his son we cried.
Two more years in nineteen ninety nine
my own son was laid to rest..
“If God is trying me”, I thought,
“I fear I’ll fail this test.”
Then He had pity on us
and it was a full decade
before another grave and in it
my great grandson was laid.
Two brothers lie in other grave-yards,
and their stones I do not see.
I’ve been going to this cemetery
each Memorial week since fifty-three.
There are many friends and in-laws
that I must also remember.
I go the rounds with flowers in May
and with wreaths in cold December.
This poem covers five generations
of at least one family member
who has gone on ahead of us
and we bring flowers to remember.
By: Joyce 5/28/ 11

My mom was a strong woman, and stubborn too,
Yet she had a soft side, between me and you.
That side she would show, when you least expected,
But let me tell you, she was well respected.
Mom was quite unique, and was one of a kind,
She was set in her ways, so keep that in mind.
The youngest of nine, she had gotten her way,
Spoiled by her siblings’, almost every day.
Right out of high school, she had married my dad,
Blessed with three children, plus fifty years they had.
They both were hard workers, in all that they did,
My dad taught himself, from when he was a kid.
My mom was a smoker, for forty-six years,
Some day it would happen, she’d face all her fears.
Lung cancer she had, and inoperable too,
Her time on this earth, would be shortened we knew.
Radiation and Chemo, had done their thing,
Remission set in, tears of joy it did bring.
We would go out at night, to shop and to talk,
I knew she enjoyed, getting out for a walk.
Two years had gone by, after Thanksgiving Day,
Her pain had returned, but was afraid to say.
She’d lie on the couch; it was strength she did lack,
We knew in our hearts, that the cancer came back.
We shared lots of laughter, but many a tear,
I tried to assure her, she’d nothing to fear.
“Please watch over your dad, this one thing I ask.”
“I know it will be, quite a difficult task.”
One morning in March, Hospice called us to say,
You may want to come, for she’s slipping away.
For the night before, mom told me to stay home,
“Be there for your kids, you can call me by phone.”
When we all arrived, for a moment she woke,
Her eyes said it all, not a word had she spoke.
We stayed by her bedside, just holding her hand,
“It’s time to let go mom, we all understand”.
A few days had passed, not ready to let go,
For it had been raining, but letting up slow.
The sun began shining, the clouds disappeared,
Opening the heavens, for mom’s time has neared.
We gathered together, her forehead we kissed,
Whispering so softly, how much she’d be missed.
“Your time has arrived mom, just follow the light”,
She left us so peaceful, she gave up her fight.
It was time to drive home, in the car we got,
Then something had happened, while leaving the lot.
Huge drops of rain falling, it had to be fate.
They were tears of joy; she was at heaven’s gate.

For Maxine
Sister, was there forgiveness for she who bore you?
For us, your siblings and sometime charges?
For all who would not help, but hastened your demise?
The marble coldness of your corpse,
to my touch, is like an electric shock.
The limbs, the torso, with sudden strangeness,
now bear you slight resemblance.
You feared all pain, but died without complaint.
Who can fathom what you felt?
Was there a last, sharp stab?
A welcome to oblivion?
Or even an awareness of your loss?
Or was death no more spectacular
than a tire deflating, slowly,
quietly, unrecognized?
And was that the shame of it?
That your life ended, so early,
so silently, and death
was no extravaganza?

Save a rose for your mother, dearest child
of mine; save one for me when I too die.
Know not a day can possibly go by
Without a thought of her: sweet and unbridled.
She’s forever free now, dearest child
of mine; you will be free when I too die.
Think on our love, ‘tis thine, from she and I,
Who bore your life for you, our dearest child.
You are the hope of your parents’ short lives;
You no longer need us, so: achieve, achieve!
Stand for yourself, live with your own two feet,
Explore, travel, learn, be someone who thrives,
Find the joy of life, it'll always be there, so: believe, believe!

Why did you leave us so cold and so fast
yesterday was your birthday i can't belive you will be gone
for 12 years on janurary sixth
i miss you so much
me and mom went to church sunday for the first time in a long time.
she cried and i cried we want you back so bad!!!

Sitting in a chair and watching a movie I get a phone call,
She's dead, my little sister tells me, and I drop the ball.
you are really gone, I can't believe how this can happen,
You didn't have to go, I wish I could of dropped in.
Hearing and seeing all the tears that are being poured out for you is very sad,
This day will be remembered in yours and you two little angels forever and that's not bad.
Not being able to see you any more will be hard but ill think of something to occupy my self,
But till than tho, shine bright for our God and save me a crown a big shelf.
Dedication to: Alina Bukhanstova and her two little angels.
PS: R.I.P, you will be missed.

Oh summer sun’s dusk, the last of its kind!
Now season to tame the bloom that was wild,
Dyed leaves in the air and their rushing sound,
Go dance in the wind like flares in the ground,
This time it’s his time to wither and die,
This Tree that stood straight front my window by,
Those summers and springs while all looked up high,
It hinders my sight- see Venus in sky,
But now it’s his time to wither and die,
This tree that stood straight front my window by,
Now I am among that can cherish her,
Gone in my perspective- all the Tree’s blur,
I saw her meet the leafy winds of fall,
And through the cold her grace and beauty crawl,
This winter and fall we all looked up high,
At last so I see, I see her in sky!
But this spring had sprung along with its bloom,
The tokens of past are the guilt and gloom,
Rise in its remains front my window by,
Hence there I had gazed my loss as I cry,
“In the humid air as drenched earth below,
Down to his shade where there I was spared so,
And back the days where my peace was at stake,
The anger I shared- these all for my sake,”
For those where his deeds whom I had seen least,
They all were unveiled as now he’s deceased,
So here I see forth- winter! Oh its grief!
Dyed are in the air; last sun’s gloomy leaf,
Shame! Fool, I was fooled. Sweet lies in her hands,
Thus so I’m to look his corpse where this stands…
Front my window by. Radiates those good nights,
I send my rejects to all her invites!
-oOo-

There I was, for the second night, visiting you.
It’s that time of the year again
where graves don’t seem so lonely,
all lit up
with flames, flowers and faces
I find it so beautiful, Undas...
We all might be contained
within our own circles,
but thoughts and feelings are somehow linked—
similar in remembrance
of what was lost, of what is loved.
This time always reminds me of regret.
Oh yes, my sighs are so pregnant with them,
giving birth to a nursery full of wailing cry babies.
Death.
Of someone, of something. Of anything.
How final it seems.
So much lost, so much taken.
Then the operative word, “seems”, jumps out at me.
I am reminded of grass razed by fire,
seemingly dead—hopeless.
Brown, dried, burnt.
Some might leave it be and move on with their lives.
But some
might dig beneath the dirt, dust it off,
then they might find hope.
The roots are still there, alive.
A second chance to make things right.
To nurture it better this time around.
Maybe, this is why I cling so hard to the thought
of an afterlife.
Why so many people do.
I don’t want to think of death as The End.
You’ve graced my life, our lives with so much
and I still catch myself seeing you in other people.
In this manner, you are still very much alive.
This is also why I kiss the day that you were born.
You were given to us, albeit for a short while
but you are still here in some other ways,
and I am thankful for that.
I light one of your candles, whisper my prayers,
and something touches past my right hand.
(Ah, I’ve always felt that certain emptiness with that hand.)
I see what it is, and it embraces my heart.
It is small yet so profound for me.
A white butterfly.
Choosing that moment
to flutter past me, touching me in that darkness.
It lands on one of the leaves of your floral arrangement
and stays there with me.
11012012121p217r
** For my brother, & to all my loved ones who have gone on. I also want to dedicate this to all who have lost their loved ones, either recently or long ago—the void will always be there, but the memories & love that they have given us will never be forgotten in our hearts.
Undas is a yearly tradition here, where most Filipinos flock to the cemeteries to visit their dead. Ok, I will not rule out that some go there not exactly to visit the dead but to join in the hmm, festivities (if walking through cemeteries is your thing), being with friends, eating, since of course there are lots of food stalls present during this time.

Doris called, "Caleb has another earache
all night he has cried in terrible pain."
Doris asked me to assist for her sake.
Sat down to rest, watch TV once again.
Now in permanent memory~places...
Contest: "Remembering 911"
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
*Note
Click on: "About This Poem"

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.
Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.

My tusks are sharp, like a warrior's spear.
I see clearly and only feel one thing, fear.
Frozen deep in this field of flattened glass,
I had to watch my unfulfilled dreams pass.
I have always known the snow covered land
that now morphs and changes behind my own,
Innocent eyes. But a weight of a stone,
that can crush an entire army; then I remain alone.
I feel cold, my spirit sold,
lurking beyond me, rotten and old.
Out of reach, with so much to teach,
jerking to become free, begging for speech,
my young ones, my family shadows,
trapped behind a glacier of gallows,
The temporary apocalypse of merciless ice.
I wish I had warned them.
-Caroline Youngless

It's hard to go day by day,
Remembering all you had to say;
I think about you everyday,
I thought of you teh most today.
Missing you is a hard job,
Loving you an easy job;
Wanting to hold you tightly,
Wanting to hear you talk softly.
My heart breaks when I'm not with you,
Sometimes I just don't know what to do;
I can still remember that goodbye,
Wish it wasn't the last bye.
My memories fade slowly,
Your face I hold dearly;
Sometimes not clearly,
Oh how I wish you were near me.
I can write,
I can cry,
I can scream,
I can forget,
I can get mad at the world,
No matter what I do, the pain gets worse.
I'm sorry,
But goodbye and letting go, are impossible.

< enticing to eyes watching mama's pink roses bloom
fourty years later someone else now cares for them
fresh cut daily and seen in her arms their long stems
tears streaming down face I sit under swollen moon
waiting watching for sun to come up again soon
to catch one more glimsp of mama's planted old gems
unfurling petals before been chopped or condemned
think I'll ask if can take one for my dining room
aroma bursting amidst thy supper's table
bowed heads we come and thank our Heavenly father
somebody still cared though sick and times unable
and answers it's door for which one has come bothered
to let bask in roses empowering fable
and not to be called as it's one's roses robber
French Sonnet is a poem with rhyme scheme
Of ABBAABBA and CDCDCD
Or ABBAABBA and CDECDE
Syllable count is 12 syllable per line.

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.

I was born in a world of poverty and soiled life of a third world country
The way I lived till I was five years of age was walls of boundary
These walls had towers of guards that had no heart or care
If a child would try to climb the wall they lose their life I swear
Father had drank and threatened my mother with a knife
My father lost his job and wife and that was the hardship of life
He stopped my mother from taking off with me in her arm
Hoping that my father would ignore and left me be with no harm
When my father went off to drink one night and came home with rage
My brothers stood by my crib and took a beating that set up the next stage
My father had woken up to three scared children half starved and in pain
His final words as he walk away from the orphanage gate live life do not go insane
I was still a baby in the orphanage; the caretakers did not really care about the babies
They stole items and materials those wicked men and maternal evil ladies
They starved all the babies because it cost a lot to keep them alive
As a child of that age I could feel the sins and greed that gave out bad vibes
I was ignorant about what I drank and ate, as I see white maggots move in my bottle
As I see them move I thought about how they were playing and some were hostel
They ate each other to keep each other alive in a manner that took me by surprise
In the back round I hear others throwing things with sounds of painful cries
I got very strong at a young age I was able to start pulling myself up over the cage
My feelings were to see my brothers with strong lungs that I cried out of rage
My two brothers came to see me and sneak food into my crib
The caretaker would find the food in my hands as they grabbed it and hit me on my ribs
As painful as it was I kept eating the food with blood in my mouth as it was instinct
I sometimes laid in my crib dazed and confused with smell of death so distinct
With all my might I kept myself strong and climb the small wall
I finally was old enough to get out of the building and I could hear my brothers call
With tears of joy with short legs that ran as fast as my heart
I ran to my brothers arms and held their hands to have a new start
I grew stronger everyday but more things came into my life in a manner of dismay
If my brothers stay by my side I could smile and everyday their would be okay

- For women who choose to have abortions just so they can continue to whore around.
You make my head swell,
& you're a sad excuse for a woman:
Cold-hearted, selfish, self-righteous witch.
Abortion is a matter of life or death,
yet you choose death for this small being.
You make my head swell.
You work with children every day,
yet you still want to kill the one inside of you.
Cold-hearted, selfish, self-righteous witch.
You give me unwanted goose bumps with those words
"I want an abortion," as you laugh it away.
You make my head swell,
& I have the urge to take the innocent life today, do you?
You disgust me, making me want to vommit.
Cold-hearted, selfish, self-righteous witch
Steal the life of this baby and party your life away,
disregarding the fact that it didn't have a choice in the matter.
You make my head swell
you cold-hearted, selfish, self-righteous witch.
-Caroline Youngless

Running, after more than you, can hold.
Taking, someone else’s love, and leaving.
Children are fearful of what they’re told.
Can’t you see I’m the one who’s freezing?
I was just a child with a trinket
Never knowing that it’d be, more to me
When you were gone to, too far, from me.
Steady with your hands close to my heart
Never letting our world’s tear us apart
I know, your icicles
I miss the beaches that we played on
You missed the child in your own eyes
Now you’re gone,
But I’m still not here.
Why can’t you wake up
I’m not ready
Please, just take your time, don’t leave now
I can’t fight this world alone.

Hear the Lion roar above the rapids
Hear that Lion roar;
But what if this Lion would roar no more?
And nothing was left for him to roar for.
His home is gone; His land been taken; His children ran; His life forsaken;
And though the Lion may roar above the rapids; That will be the last we’ll see
For if you can not be happy then why bother being free?

I still remembered that night
the snow was heavy and unusually white.
We gathered around the fireplace,
Momma was sharing her Christmas grace.
Daddy went home and brought us presents
Momma stopped her story and away she went
out into the snowy streets
buying us winter treats.
It has passed dinner and she’s not home.
Our stomach started to ache and roam.
Daddy began to worry,
and away he went in a hurry.
Me and Anna were still inside
looking through the window with eyes opened wide.
Then Anna started to cry,
I was still wondering why
until I saw a shadow in the foggy snow.
Anna squeezed my hand and wouldn’t let go.
A squeak, a squeal -
a spinning wheel
down the hill
that’d thrill and kill.
It came clashing and crashing
through the glaciers it went bashing
through our door it was breaking,
left us all shaking and quaking.
We did not restrain
the shrieks and tears weren’t feigned.
Next morning the neighbors came
and told us that momma and daddy weren’t the same.
I followed them and what I saw
with only a glance made me drop my jaws.
There, two coffins neatly laid
“Uncertain causes” was clearly sprayed.
I laughed and thought I just got played
but grief suddenly fell when the priest prayed.
Nobody helped when I fell limp on the floor
as they carried my parent’s bodies through the shattered door.
From that day on there wasn’t winter anymore.
Snow were redder than red – the color of gore.
Their tombstones were always cold solid steel
and if you came close you’d feel:
A squeak, a squeal -
a spinning wheel
down the hill
that’d thrill and kill.

************
A lie slowly becomes' Mercy
As the truth suddenly becomes'
Crystal clear,
However,
There comes' a time where
Life has equated itself with Death
-----------
And yet,
The implications' so unclear
-----------
And then death has made off
With it's own consumption
Of Will
-----------l
As it breaches' it's own
Confidence inundate....
And has blended it's own
Way threw...
As We seek the resound
Sound know as the "Registrar"
He make's Legions' of me and you
--------------
When we do appear before him
Fore He is far beyond man
So repetitiously clear
He makes' short work of perdition
In the deliverance of all man
--------------
And He delivers' sanity soulfully at will
It is the "Just" among man
-------------
Then in a chasm like appurtenance
It becomes Evil Incorporate
Evil on demand
-------------
He then reveals' himself
-For-
He is but a creation threw time
He brings superstition
He play's with the mind
And this He has been doing
Since the beginning
Of time
GF

With all good well wishes
Bright young man
The youngest child in family
Fly its soul to whole world
His peace his laughter his thoughts
God it is fair taking lives of children
We fail yet monsters kill our children
How overcome to genetic disorder
How overcome to weapons kill our children
Hope in science and families return their weapons

The Guestbook
I signed the guestbook, hoping that _____, Jenny’s mom would get my message and get in
contact with me. In the mean time, every person who signed it, I got updates about.
Then, one Saturday, I got this e-mail saying someone had signed the guest book, so right
away, I read it. It was someone named ________, from Ohio…and that she was Jenny’s
biological sister, and she left a phone number. Now…I know this name…because my birth
father’s mother had told me that name when I met her in January. So, I nervously picked up
the telephone and dialed the number. Thank goodness the machine picked up, LOL…I said
hello, my name is Melissa Powell, I am in Indiana. Jenny was my biological sister, by the
same birth father, and I think that you and I may be sisters too. Give me a call when you
can. Two hours later…the phone rang…it was ______…confirming we were indeed sisters!
Then she dropped a bomb on me…I had another sister _____! Wow…I lost one sister 2
weeks ago…and today, I find out I have two more sisters! What a blessing! So in the mean
time, ____, _____ and I are getting to know each other, and our families. So we get to
talking about possibly looking for other siblings because out birth grandmother has told us
there are indeed more of us out there. So we look on Facebook with the names. ________ I
wrote to about 20 _______ Even though when I saw her picture when I wrote her…I knew
she was my sister…we could be identical twins! So a few weeks go by…then on April 3, I get
home from Good Friday Church services and there is a e-mail from ______…Call me, I found
_______… Not only did we find _______…we found _____!
So with the tragic death of our beautiful sister Jenny…it brought all of all us together!
Now we have the rest of our lives to be sisters and get to know one another. God works in
mysterious ways, and we all believe that he brought us together using Jenny as our northern
star. And there are even more of us out there! Current count…Six girls and we are told we
may even have some brothers somewhere!

Jesus’ death paid it all!
What have you given in return?
His death on the cross…
Was from his love and concern!
His life for yours… On Calvary…
Has been paid.
His offer of eternal life,
has been made!
Through God’s word,
he’s been talking!
And stands at your hearts door…
patiently knocking!
Won’t you invite him in? As your guest?
Then, your life will be totally blessed!
He can bring health and
healing to your bones!
He can bring his love to
your family and home!
“Come unto me.” Is the
the master’s call.
Won’t you come to him now?
One and all?
He’s here right now!
In this very place…
And extends to you his
mercy and grace.
Won’t you accept him today?
He loves you more than words can say!
By Jim Pemberton

There is a demon in my closet and it is safe to say
I have kept him there safely, each and every day
Asking about his words, I thought I heard him pray
He laughed openly stateing he was always hearing me play
I followed, I listened I leaned over to his ways
It turns out he's here over an angel and a wish of keeping me gay
Saintan is forever listening to what becomes my fate
The doors still closed as softly as that horrid divorced decay
But he was not wearing my brand, a mark of forever may it stand
He had choose to turn the other cheek, to find a higher point of understanding
Something more suitable than just a standard branding
A mark of a book, a devils open handing
A demon to help me through troubles and fears
A someone there when all I have left is openly flowing tears
He jesters, he peers, he jokes, he steers
But I think my favorite time is where leers

Do you have a clue,
What that person sitting on the curb is going through,?
Did you give him a smile, wave, or even say hello,?
Or, did you just ignore him and drive away as fast as you could go,?..
The dude has no home, no food to eat,
But does that cross your mind when that rush hour traffic you're trying to beat,?
Do you justify your actions by considering him a slob,?
Because he sits on that curb while you're off to your cush job,..
You look at him with such disgrace,
All because he has dirt on his face,
While your at home in your nice hot shower,
He's no-where to go so he just sits on that curb hour after hour,..
You will have a nice dinner at your table,
But tonight this fellow won't be able,
It's way below zero outside and you're in your nice warm bed,
But the guy on the curb can't stay warm for he is found the next morning frozen, Dead,..
If in the beginning you'd have given him a smile,
He may have gone another mile,
If you would of given him a wave,
He would of thought someone cared and not be headed to his grave,..
You could of offered him a seat at your table and given him a hot meal,
But, since you judged him to be a slob with no job you figured he'd steal,
If you'd of offered him a nice hot shower and a nice change of clothes,
He would of been more like you, I suppose,..
Except for a few facts like your wife isn't yet home from work,
His wife's neck in a tragedy snapped with a jerk,
She died at the scene,
When their car slid into a ravine,..
Your children are in their beds upstairs,
His two children passed away a week after their mother in spite of all his prayers,
Yes the man on the curb had a story,
One that with a little help from you could of been used for Gods glory,..
He lived, he loved, he married the woman of his dreams,
He laughed, he had two great kids,he wasn't a slob like you thought, everything is not what it seems,...
Leah Russell 1-17-2011

At one point in my life i was an artist
I used to paint and draw
Covering a piece of paper
In beautiful colors
And my art told a story
The sort of story you couldn't talk about
I used to go to school every day
Showing up late
Wasn't something I'd do
But i dropped out
Leaving my education behind
I played the bass guitar
In a band called
The Nocturnal
My fingers ran against that bass
Pure magic
The sound of the gods
Setting out to destroy the world
Pure Punk straight from Seattle
At one point i was clean
Sober and pure like a new born baby
Falling further into
What you now call
"disapointment"
Screwing up my veins
with every shot of herion
Killing my brain cells
With every joint i smoked
Clogging up my nose
With every pill you could have known
I used to write lyrics
About my life
My childhood
I used to write journals
The ones you read in the book
that was published of me
I got up on that stage every night
As i was
Nothing fake
Nothing glamourous
Only a few scars
One shot of heroin
Come as you are
The words only speak for
Themselves

My ancestors walking in the night
using oil lights and moonlight for guides
while being instructed to Wade in the Water
to camouflage their scents like disguise
The Sweet Chariot awaited
so they could ride away
Harriet was a soldier
and it wasn't an option to be caught during the day
That's the same mentality Nat Turner had when he sang
Steal Away
They would follow the drinking gourd
so all were in accord to go north
The Gospel Train was coming
and at the end of the journey
was a fine reward
Freedom was coming
and it was a long time coming and
they walked until they heard freedom bells ringing
and I still hear their tired footsteps running
Thinking of My Darling Nelly Gray
Stolen from my arms a random September day
and eliminated our chances to run away together
No family ties, no love, no strength says the oppressor
Then I hear the drums beat in the darkness
giving me the hope of finally being free
Maybe I'll follow them this time on faith
on bended knee
There must be a place for me among the light
of this darkness
Among oppression, thieves, evil-doers
no thought on their conscience
Thank goodness for the safe houses that
supported our traveled distances
and for the conductors who bore witnesses
and may God have mercy on the souls who
were against this
and on those who chose to forget this sh@!
I still hear crying in quilts of safety
because I know that the burden was heavy
to be at the mercy of nature and patrol men
catching run-away slaves for money
Some did it bare feet with freedom ahead of this
loved induced journey and they made it
So all that bull about how your life is hard
just stuff it in an envelope and save it

I close my weary eyes
Holding onto the hope
Of not having to cope
Not a mintue longer
Without you by my side
Not expierencing
The warm look in your eyes
The tingling rush of your finger tips
That would grip my hair tight
To stop you from slipping into the night
Biting your bottom lip
As a pinch to yourself
To see if it was real
The dream of love we felt
And now that you are gone
I only wish to die
Your image fades from my mind
Sometimes I see it clear,
The sun is skillfully stroking it set in the sky
As my feet float down the road across the tuscan country side
I ever so gently sense the wildy grown wheat
Tickling these troubled lines engraved in the palm of my hand
I playfully pick one out of the land and pluck the grains
I look up and in the distance is where she waits
But there she remains peacefully strolling through the calming field
In a white cotton dress that tails off in the wind and
wearing a small confident smile that makes my yearning heart yield
Whispering in my ear that soon I will make it home
But my Life's journey must continue down this God paved road
I awake with the longing of her, But with so much to do
I need God's strength for one more day to get through

She thought that he’s charming
Her friends says he is so cute
But little did they know
It’s the furthest from the truth
Her mom buys her a new dress
Because he ask her to the prom
But during the fun and laughter
He spikes her punch with rum
She wakes up in his BMW
He,s smiling with a cigarette
A morning she will remember
A night to forget
She can’t stop crying
She lies on her bed
Feeling hurt and disgusted
Suicide thoughts comes to her head
Her mom notice the changes
But she don’t know what is wrong
She use to sing in the church choir
The preacher says she stops coming around
She hugs her mother last night
Then walks out the door alone
And its now early morning
She didn’t come back home
She jumps over the bridge
They pull her body soaking wet
She couldn’t live with the memory
Of the night she can’t forget
It’s sad that her young life was ruin
By the evil that lays hidden behind a smile
Her mother life is shattered
Never knowing what happen to her child
This is happening to innocent girls
All over the world
Taking away their dignity and pride
Sucking the life out of their very soul
Another girl sits under a tree
Reading a book of poem by kaz ishmael
He said “excuse me just got to say
That you have a beautiful smile
She brushes her long hair
Think her jeans didn’t fit to right
His BMW is waiting out side
They are going to movies tonight

Nice Day For a Funeral
I
(You were always old. I can't remember a
time when you were not.)
Cried
(And you had no past before the first time I
became aware of your presence.)
When
(The weather huddled the mourners together.
It was a cold day, but the sun was out to pay its respects, also.)
They
(I huddled with the rest. Echos of
the service left a sad taste in my soul.)
Lowered
(The Rabbi had spoken of you like an old friend.)
Your
(And convinced me of your close
lifelong brotherhood with him.)
Casket.

The Years To Long From Before
How the years go by from the time your just learning to walk till the time you walk out of your parents house.There are time when you ask "Where did all the time go?"
Life is a dangerous games filled with birth life and death.If I could rewrite thing I think i would danger everything with only one note.Life isn't fair life is to short life is twist and turns and around again, one day we all will be faced with your death beds our coffin and then the dirt over us.I wish i could fall until I fall there no pain in falling there no worry in following there is no death in falling,can you ever relive falling until you fall to hard that you hit the ground that you fall broken? How do I steal your emotions so you can't ever worry again? Should I try harder to make you realize that the trust you put into me won't cause you grief won't cause you to leave me in a black box? There is this ever lasting light this perfect time to tell you that time before you grow up trust in me.Dear child dear sweet one what have I lost you to? you was young once bright you made my day full of joy and full of worry I can't believe that now I can't do but worry but then the way you stride yourself make proud.How many years gone by from your first words now look your to old for you to ask me to help.
This i dedicated to my mom,my younger brother and sister who even to day have stop needing the big sister and to my mom who know this feeling all to much,I love you guys so much

July 6, 2010
Softly Leaving
I’ll be happy remembering the good old days
Where moments with childhood friends once reigned
While some still here, some already gone to their final destiny
It is with great affection to see old pictures kept atop the attic
Maybe a stroll on seashore to get a deep gulp of air
Or a thin fog to finely spray on my eyelashes
To write my name in the sand and let the waves take it
Try stone skipping and see how many bounces it make across the surface
I’ll go to our parish church and take my last communion
And ask forgiveness for all sins I have committed
Pray to God that my last day will be acceptable to my loved ones
That they will not cry but give them courage to live without me
For the rest of my moment, I’ll embrace my son and wife
Until my last breath fades away
4th place winner
IF I HAD JUST ONE DAY LEFT TO LIVE CONTEST
7/31/2020 Sponsored by: Audrey Carey

thinking back on all the days me and Jason used to play he was never mean and
never hurtful he was always kind and gentle i still don't know why he desided to
go away since he did we all kneel and pray that we'll see him again some day.

Many Have Gone On Before Me…
As I grow old, many I know have gone on before me.
Some I didn’t know. And some knew me.
In our lives, there’s one thing that’s very certain.
We don’t know when we’ll meet life’s “final curtain.”
No matter how we try to look, or seek a “younger appeal.”
One day, old age comes, and the end of life seems real!
Our lives down here, could end tomorrow!
No matter how many years we may try to “borrow.”
God knows when the end of our lives will be!
The question is: Where will you spend your eternity?
You may seek all of this world’s wealth and fame.
But when death comes calling…
It knows your name!
You can go through life, and keep “pretending.”
But God knows when your life will be ending!
He’s prepared for you, a place in his eternal city.
There’ll be no more sorrow, pain or pity!
All of the angels in heaven await your choice!
Each person coming to heaven,,, They all rejoice!
Jesus loves you! This is great news!
His gift of salvation... Please don’t refuse!
Think about those who’ve gone on before you!
And the wonderful God that always knew you!
Every breath you breathe… Each step that’s taken…
Jesus is your only hope and secure foundation!
By Jim Pemberton

~The Healer, I lay…Meditating,
The Shaman’s path is inward and up, up, from the bed up, up, my astral body rises.
Silence, surrounds …
Looking down I see myself in a pit of covers
my astral self slips from the window
viewing home and hearth from outside and high above…
No earth born sounds, awaken me from my flight.
NO earthly forest, lush or deep entraps the Shaman she.
NO bird calls fills the Predawn light…
NO dewdrops distract~
Astral I recedes in time… a Dreaming
Back, back, back without knowledge of time, or space
like a fallen leaf~ twirling and swirling,
letting the current take me, where it will
through lifetimes to the womb and beyond . . .
~The Healer, I.. ghosts in space…
my home but a speck lit with Chi.
Silence, surrounds…
Fair astral form of gossamer light, I…thread space on umbilical silk,
the healer...reaches, reaches for the light, the He and She……God and Goddess.
The Healer, I... reaches the World Tree, Yggdrasil,
white crystal roots tendril into the primordial sea
of space time, branching upward cradling Heaven.
There below the tree in the soft grass an ancient one,
a familiar soul, waits.
~Oh I am held by She, ancient Grandmother, and garner the wisdom of ages.~
But, the bodies time is now, and calls
and as the clay rests, it calls
down, down, down… I go
~Past the jumble-tumble between lifetimes, within the cycling universe of all,
The Healer, I, reforms, snaps to the umbilicus of prone body, within the tumbled nest of sheets, in the now plane of existence.
~Arms reach out brushing cheeks, eyes gleam, and sparkle
with the joy of sharing, kindred spirits having touched
the ancient wisdon of the Light!
Silence surrounds.

That horrible day she heard those words.
The cawing of those dreadful birds.
The pain in her chest found its way to her eyes.
Her breath came out in only short sighs.
Her sister there to hold her hand,
Trying to be strong for the both of them.
The day had come, they knew it would.
But faster than it probably should.
They made as much noise as they possibly could.
Anything to keep away the silence of death,
And as the tears kept falling,
they did their best,
To try and forget this disastrous mess.
But as hard as they denied it,
they knew it was true.
He was gone from this world,
wasn’t meant for it too.
The last words he spoke,
were held to be true.
“ when all the feelings had been felt,
And all the tears shed.
Let the acceptance begin.”
They echoed again and again.

Your
last
wishes
assumed all
would go glass-smooth.
But forests are dark places,
and your children are no longer innocent.
Calming
seas
mask storms.
I now shed
my obligation.
So pour your wrath down from above
on
me.
Your heirs
scorn me too.

Today I thought of all my stress
Causing me such an unrest
So much to think that I had thought
Would it be better to live or not?
Get this straight: I'm no cutter
No pill taker; def. not a jumper
I'm not killing myself- get that straight
Just explaining today's living debate
I hate the fact I suck at school
No discipline in me for easy rules
'Do the work, earn good grades'
I failed to do so; a whole year fades
My freshman year; man I $*#%ed up
Too much partying, boys and stuff
Taken for granted just how hard
Barely passing for my report card
I ruled today I just must live
My life, to the fullest, and to give
Back to all who help me to stay
Family, friends, defining me to claim nay.
Nay, I will never end early my years
Selfish would it be; no other word more clear
For people who care and have to deal
If I were gone; their lifelong empty feel
Not being conceded; I'm not all that
I just couldn't ever leave someone like that
Abandonment, giving up, not me
I'll fight this challenge to get off AP*
Staying in school's now my number one
Everything comes second; last listed is 'Fun'
Focus on completing the work I need
Will help me cope with getting degree'd
From this message, please take away
The thought to never check out early your stay
Here on this earth, even when you're down
Think of your loved ones who'll always want you around.
*AP: Academic Probation- possibility of removal of university for poor grades

In wait of deliverance, life lingers ahead
Oblivious of what might lay instead
Impaled, in pain, in agonizing strain
Bereft of peace, life persists to drain
With desires unquenched, a life yet to be cherished
On the threshold of sanity, only nearly but perished
No want to live, no desire to die
The matter at hand was just to get by
Striving, as I must, to get through this moment
A savage ordeal of relentless torment
En route to oblivion, my eyes behold
The aura, valor, unseen, untold
To grant me salvation, my savior has come
The daunting magnificence, seen paralleled by none
A relief, to me, is the sight of my death
For conclusion to misery has finally cometh
With the shore of life now drifting away
To you, dear one, I have this to say
I do not ask you to mark my grave
To be remembered, my friend, is all that I crave
By M. Hussain Effendi

Come meet two of my former patients;
A nursing home room they did share
Maggie was blind; Porter became her eyes
Finding, picking up, helping her
He was kind. Her mind had slipped - or had it?
"Porter, I lost my comb," said to mate
Frail as he was, under the bed he went
Crawling for Maggie - deliberate
Day in and day out he would meet her needs;
She contrived to keep him near her hand,
Porter this and Porter that - it did seem
Though they each understood the commands
The nurses would come to help as needed.
Then, on that moring when a stillness
Penetrated the room reverently
Quietly sitting slumped by her bed
No answer; no movement; just sitting there;
Porter dressed for his daily tasks,
He had fallen asleep when breathing ceased
He had given all that was asked
"Porter, Porter, help me," was softly heard
"Porter, Porter, please answer me,
Porter, Porter, where are you?" asked again.
"Porter's gone. He loved you, Maggie."

Imagine children waking up to bombs and sirens in the night.
Parents calming their children's screams of fright.
Rockets bursting in air.
People fleeing their homes, cries of anguish in their voices.
Violence, suffering, dying, too much-
Children homeless, parentless, living on streets.
Peace is needed for Pete's sake.
Politics, religion, race, and greed-
People world wide open your eyes.
We're destroying our human race.
Allow the children to hear laughter again.
Laying their heads on a love one's lap,
Lifting fears and giving them hope
A brighter future for man, woman and child.
Is that asking for too much?
Nothing but destruction in minds of many.
Stop, stop destroying humankind.
Find peace and heal in time.

It is here I am safe
It is here that I know
but over the bridge
Is where I must go
The bridge that gives passage
over quick muddy water
though why I say that
I don't know why I bother
over the bridge
is a tall oak tree
and standing beneath it
is someone waving at me
crossing the bridge
I see a man standing there
with paint splatered pants
and a head of white hair
looking closer I see
exactly who's there
I see it's my papa
and I can't help but stare
I run right toward him
and give him a hug
I ask how he got here
his response is a shrug
it's then I remember
the fact that he'd died
it's then I remember
the tears that i'd cried
I ask how it felt
when he had died
he then looks at me
and he promptly replied
he calmed all my fears
about what lies boyond
then he looks up
because the suns almost gone
he says I must go
before the sun sets
but I don't want to leave
I'm not quite ready yet
he gives me a hug
before I go
then tells me I can't share
the things I now know
I give a quick nod
looking up at the sky
I don't understand
but I don't have time to ask why
turning around
I try not to cry
I just cross the bridge
when the sun leaves the sky
I turn back to look
one last time at the tree
but my papa is gone
as was meant to be

My dear grandmother
One nigth while I was sleeping
I got a sad telephonemessage
I got up fast
The tears just trundled down my cheeks
The message I got was that you had passed away
It happened so incredibly fast
I have cried for several months
All the tears for you
Hope that some of you still are here with me
Now, I have no grandmother to talk with
For your heart stopped
Why was it your turn to let the soul leave your body
Life needs to move on
The dead, they have to be honored
I will never be able to forget you
I let the memories be hidden
__
/_/\/\
\_\ /
/_/ \
\_\/\ \
\_\/
Dedicated to my dear grandmother (1935-2011)

Today I saw my life pass me by
I saw my first steps
My first kiss, he was much cuter when we where little kids
I saw my first day of Kindergarten, Junior and High school, I cant believe I used to
wear that
I saw me going on my first date
And then going to prom with him
Then breaking up because he wanted to just be friends,
And how I cried for days
Graduation soon came and how I missed my friends over the years
Then college where I meet my true love, after many misses
I Gaduated then was soon married the following December
We had twin girls then fell in love and adopted a little boy and soon came another
boy
I remember seeing them all take there first steps and seeing my two little girls go
to kindergarten
But that’s where my life ends,
Someone took one to many drinks,
“I was only buzzed though.” I heard him say as they walked him passed me,
while I and my youngest son lay under white sheets
I said good-bye to my girls and husband while they where in the operating room
My son Nathan cried when I told he couldn’t stay in Heaven with James, Jesus
and I
Three lives lost today two without a memory to remember

Screaming, ranting, raving
When the world didn't do it your way,
Your anger so violent
I feared for your heart;
A blood vessel, like a fuse
That's all it takes
Blown and you 're out
Forever.
You threatened so often
That it would make us happy
If you died.
No! No! No!
That's not the way
It's supposed to be.
We love you then and now.
We wanted for you
The help you so desperately needed
And we couldn't give
Or get for you.
You have to ask for yourself.
Yet, you would not, could not ask;
It would not be manly
To show such 'weakness".
Now, we say,
If only, if only,
If only, what?

Holding my breath
As I wait for her to depart
But still she holds on
To the last speck of dust she calls life
Months and weeks pass her by
And every day that dies away
She says "goodbye"
But the morning replies "hello"
She anticipates her arrival
To the beloved home she calls heaven
Walking through those gates
Her golden wings stretch across nations
But until then she's still holding on
Still waiting
Still breathing
And remains alive

Angel of mine, where are you now? Hours drift away like seconds as I
Lift my somber heart and head to the heavens asking, "why, oh why?"
In one moment, your tired eyes held my gaze; then, with one kiss goodbye,
Frozen in time, forever you were gone; a failing heart will surely die,
Existing in flesh no more; yet our love surpasses death and the tears I cry.
Losing you again tonight in fragments of dreams, a heart shatters. I rely
On the memory of your smile at dawn, the scent of your pillow, your sigh
Swept softly across my ear lobe in whispers of love. I know, my tears will dry
Tomorrow under blue sky when I see you twinkle in our little boy's eye.

A daughter, a sister, an aunt and a friend.
Always a helping hand to lend
Her life on this earth, too soon did end.
So she's found a new home with the angels.
Always so selfless, so caring and kind.
Such wisdom, such insight, so brilliant a mind
No freer a spirit will ever you find
Than this one that now flies with the angels
Philisophic, creative and bold
She saw the best in every soul
And in our lives shall be a hole
To fill with fond thoughts of our angel
She helped so many, too many to name
You could ask each one, they would tell you the same.
She's returned to heaven, from where she first came
It seems she was always an Angel.

Grief that constricts my heart,
Cages its screaming walls,
Grinding its bars roughly into its flesh…
Where they meet, blood oozes,
Life does what it chooses,
Heart shies away from the pain of its mesh.
[unsure as to whether to continue]

On Memorial Day I am haunted and flooded with so much grief.
My Mother lies next to my Grandmother and they next to my Great Aunt.
My Fathers name is there, too, but blessedly he’s not there yet.
Such great memories are restored as I look at each stone.
Once again I’m a rambling child with no kids of my own.
I remember the safety they afforded me, and all the treats and their love.
All their little sacrifices they gave, when I was still too young to know.
Why did I chase after a kitten when Grandma was so close by my side?
A simple tug on her skirt and she would of hugged me and smiled with pride.
Why was I discovering butterflies, when my Great Aunt was close there too?
She made the best pies EVER from scratch while I played in another room.
Why did I take Mom for granted… when as a child she gave me so much?
What I wouldn’t give for her gentle touch… and another soothing hug…
And Grandpa lies by Grandma… he was always repairing something or by her side.
And now there are all my aunts, uncles, and cousins that are all scattered around.
They made Christmas my favorite time as their talk and laughter rang out.
They’d laugh, talk, and enjoy each other’s company, as I’m sure now they do.
I can’t imagine them in any other way, than at my Grandma’s on those wonderful
days.
We’d sit down to a holiday feast with everyone all around and it all seemed like play.
Were they then thinking of others that they knew from long ago?
As I walk around the graveyard picking out old friends, I remember their wistful
looks…
They did the same each year, as they talked about the past even back then.
Perhaps its time my stone goes there, though I’ve a few more years to go.
That will help my children when it’s also my time to go…
And surprisingly it makes me feel I’m not leaving the older family alone.
It’s like a kiss, and a tug on a skirt to leave that something behind.
It’s a promise… they’ll be remembered until it too, is my time…
Until then I’ll bring my children and tell stories from long ago…
One day a year can’t be too much since it’s memories that I bestow.
And they all simply add up to the life that I have known.

This life's journey is like climbing the stairs
each step, year by year. moving up in the air
the higher I get, seems the harder to breathe
My ascent has stalled, sorrow seems to impede
loss of passion to climb and no will to explore
filled with anger, unfairness, ahead a closed door
having desire and need, for a warm body to hold
Fierce hurricane winds, they have taken there toll
thoughts of taking a step, repressed by the tide
it's filling the vacuum, where my heart use to hide
filled with sorrow and pain, from life on this earth
letting the darkness, decide what it is worth
Is this journey over and do I need to lay down
joy and happiness lost, my heart's closing down
I'll know the end has come, if I don't feel the sunshine
It's rays feed my soul, like a fine cheese and wine
"My body gets nourishment from Mother Earth,
sunshine fills my soul with Gods grace and mirth"

I hope you slept well. I hope you slept tight
I hope the creepy crawlies didn't come in the night
Did you open your eyes? Did you take in the sight
Of a hovering figure, pale and white?
Did you feel the cold breath? Did you feel the sharp bite?
Did the moaning and screaming give you a fright?
Did you show all your fear? Did you hide in the light?
As your wide eyes and shivering make them excite.
Did you hear from outdoors, victims’ helpless calls?
Did you hear your name echo outside in the halls?
Did you feel the cold slime 'drip - drip' on your head?
Did you notice the finger tips crawl round your bed?
Were there hand prints and puddles the colour of red?
Were there blood trails of foot prints from the undead?
If you woke up and saw none of what I just said
I'm sure they'll return to your dreams instead
That night may be over but there'll be many more
The undead do not rest; it's what they live for
They thrive on the hunt with a dribbling jaw
So keep your ears open for that creak of your door
Watch for the long fingers that be unforeseen
That creep round the corner, all scaly and green
I'm just happy I lived to tell the tales I've seen
I just hope you all had a Happy Halloween.

T wo buildings once stood tall
W hen one day they would fall.
I n the sky the planes flew
N ot knowing what they'd do.
T oo many people died
O n that day we all cried.
W hat happened no one knew
E xtreme anger just grew.
R emembering the fear
S o keep your families near.

Focused on you, a wild demons stare
With a motion it happens
A emotion flattens
As you fall beneath a demons glare
He notices most things that happen
Might even pick the clothes you wear
Believe it or not he really does care
Knows whats best and helps me get there
To perfection the performance blacken when he's scared
Things fall apart if he's not helping me be prepaired
Guidence and experience for me his mare
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without a demon here
He loves positive reactions with greatness and flair
And how people love me after he dares
Carefully he holds me through a very small tear
Me I guess I am getting used to, just hangin round rare

Way above the street lights
Watching yourself die
Waisting time
They left you in so much pain
You lost everything
For so many years
You pushed me out
Cant describe how i feel
This time im not going to watch myself cry
im not going to bury myself on the inside
You say you want the old me back
If you want me back
Your going to have to ask
Nice than that

A tribute to Ray Bradbury's The Veldt
Spoiled
by Carson Eelman
The nursery is a curious place
a place where dreams came true
inside lied an African Veldt.
In there the leaves would sway,
as the grass danced in the wind,
the lions roar, the sun beats hot,
it seems so real but know it's not.
In a world where thoughts come true,
what evil acts young minds will do;
I don't think we are alone,
in this place where lions roam.
The power of imagination,
can be a wonderful thing,
full of magic, fun, and wonder;
but it can turn to darkness as well.
The nursery became corrupted,
with thoughts of death,
becoming real to Mom and Dad.
In a world where thoughts come true,
what evil acts young minds will do;
I don't think we are alone,
in this place where lions roam.
The called a man
to see what's wrong
but honestly he wasn't sure.
He said they should take a break,
and so the father said,
"Shut down the house,
we are ready to go,"
but the kids said "Please No!"
In a world where thoughts come true,
what evil acts young minds will do;
I don't think we are alone,
in this place where lions roam.
They couldn't let it happen,
so they locked both inside.
The parents screamed and banged,
but to no reply.
The lions came and they were gone.
Peter and Wendy flashed a wicked grin,
then settled down and ate a meal.
In a world where thoughts come true,
what evil acts young minds will do;
I don't think we are alone,
in this place where lions roam.
In a world where thoughts come true,
what evil acts young minds will do;
I don't think we are alone,
in this place where lions roam.

Remembering all the things we used to share
things we used to do together
when we were one
crumbling like buring leaves
glue couldnt put them back together
words he used to speak
the air that filled my lungs
Heart beating faster with every word
the feeling disapeared the night it all went wrong
nothing but guilt and tears filled my eyes
praying that the devil would make me yours
and youll be mine again
nothing more is left to say but the word we all fear
Goodbye

Dear Father,
There is so much death here
That I dare not breathe
The staggering stench of civility
This scurrilous silence of infamy
Clinging to the remains of children
Now but an empty glare
The sky is a poisonous plume
Drowning the once bellowing sun
As sealed letters of siphoned voices
Trickle beneath the ruddy rubble
Held hostage in dying pockets
Never to be heard by the living
Again
There are bodies in roadways
Tossed like carcasses of meat
Entire families ravaged
Rotting
In crimson soaked ravines
How did it come to this
This blasphemy of blessings
Where nightmares dream of empty beds
And modest meals serve warm faces
That hold the frigid world at bay
Until the widows of war sail
Again
Forgive me
For my pride has forsaken
All that I hold dear
The company of my brothers
The prayers of my mother
The wishes of my father
Which still guide my trembling hand
As these words posthumously breathe
Off the page
I am…home

One fine morning, in early July,
A key opened a door that was locked-bye and bye
No notice, no call, no fateful warning
Uncle Frank walked in, unannounced, at eight in the morning
Lo and behold, the occupant was awoken
Some deep and recognized voice had spoken
Heading toward the voice, with sleep in his eyes
Robby said, "Uncle Frank! What a surprise!"
"Well, I'm feeling fat and a little shaken.
I'm afraid that yesterday I ate too much bacon.
May I please use Grandma's old bathroom scale?
Ever since her funeral, I feel like a whale.
With a shake of his head and a polite, "No."
Robby said, "You gonna wake up my ho.
A princess of mine is sleeping fair
So go ****ing weigh yourself in your own god damn lair."

It was just around mid-morning
I recall exactly what I was doing
The feeling felt all too familiar
The vibe was peculiar
I had that unmistakable hunch
I guessed what was nigh, the crunch
My phone rang, not once but twice
I was tempted to let it beep thrice
But nay, not on this day, not today
The news that came crushed my Sunday
Dad had passed on, Dad was no more
I cried not but my heart tore and felt sore
My life had instantaneously changed
A novel void had just been created
Mum would be all alone
Save for six sons loving her to the bone
We will not despair but hang together
Duty bound to take care of our mother
It’s a sad sight to see the family deteriorate
But dad's life gave us something to emulate
He granted us, his children a chance in life
He always was very faithful to one wife
He taught us well till the age of seventy three
Now who will be the new root for our family tree?
We have uncles and aunts, cousins and nieces
But no one to properly anchor the jumbled pieces
Without him, we are but lost and fragmented
We are like a team dismayed and all so disjointed
We’re gradually losing a generation
That’s why I cry for my true champion
My hero, my idol, role model, my icon
Dad, there is nothing that I wouldn’t do
Just to spend another day with you

There's a void, now
Where once a steadfast heart beat time
The soul in perfect harmony with life's uncertain pulse
With those who clambered eagerly in solace or in joy
To scale that mighty pinnacle
The Rock, within the bosom of the family
There's a void, now
But marvel at the structure, the firmness of the ground beneath
The strata richly layered with wisdom of generations past
A fault free seam constructing firm foundations
Binding those within the bosom of the family
There's a void, now
A hollow cavern
echoing the anger and the pain
Trust time; it has no fear of finite elements
The source of unremitting pain
Within the bosom of the family
There's a void, now
So fill the emptiness and catalogue the memories
Harvesting the richness of their meaning
The fullness of the seed sown long ago
To bloom forever within the bosom of the family

Each drop that lay congealing.Hardened pools of hearts blood feeling.Stacked higher to a ceiling which is seemingly without end or sight of this sorrow swelling.I can't stop or staunch the sound of silence so keenly suicidal.Tapestries hung from the seething keening.See this warp and weft of weeping.Broken languidly so looming of a thread cut selfishly assuming.She took Her Life.The selfless one S
he gave to Me,when the Daughter that I am to Her,She who bore and gave to Me.The very same,exactly like in every way,each drop by drop . Lifes very blood I hold in keeping a Thrumming of My Mothers Weeping.Oh Mother Wherefore Art Thou?Dost Thou Hear Thy Childs Lament?In One Fell Strroke You Wasted Time.Every Moment That We Would Spend.The Only Thing of Worth To Me I See In Faded Things.Her Pictures are Like Memories That God Will Never Bring.As Answers Heard on Dead Deaf Ears, a Cacophony of Screams ,are all I ever Hear.Sorrowed Horrors That I Bear, Tolling Woe and Days of This Despair.My Mother Bequeathed to Me the Day She Thought To Teach Me the Only Answer That I Contemplate When I Feel That Lifes Unfair.I Think This Day I'll Take This Gift She Gave To Me When I Was Born.Born Up On My Cold Dead Hands and Show The Way She Truly Taught Me Truly How To Care. A Mothers Gift Of Suicide James Patrick Kail Tuesday November 6th 2012

Gone was this edifice
Gone, sunk down the abyss
Memories only remain
Memories to keep me sane
To cherish them I shall
For such is my call
Ode to this great man
Who gave me a good stand
My favorite, among the elders
His death caused me to seek the avengers
Lonely, desolate and abandoned
His absence makes me so scorned
Gone was this great man
Seen as having an evil hand
He loved the child I was
And left me maimed with scars!
Name : Anoucheka Gangabissoon

six million stones
a railroad car streaked red
a thousand astrodomes
swollen with dead children
the population of houston
dallas wiped out
ugly striped prison uniforms
signifying captures and escapes
martin luther as a bigot
bonhoeffer as a hero
dying days before the
liberation
faces from rwanda darfur
signaling the continuance
of a tradition of genocide
a danish fishing boat
hiding neighbors in a
fake bottom to escape
a wicked storming
the pictures of happy
proud loving families
bludgeoned in broken glass
a soft cloth golden star
like a slave branding
pulsating with hatred and
judgement harsher than
the ornate letter a for hester
1500000 butterflies
sewn drawn carved
remembering
the children who lost
their lives in the
Holocaust
"Butterflies don't live in here, here in the ghetto" Pavel Friedman, April, l942
Written after a visit to The Holocaust Museum of Houston

It was very early in the morn
The news not good, in depths forlorn
Memories of you dressed in your army best
A hero to me a father better than all the rest
Mom would play the piano and sing Daddy's little girl
I cried each time I heard it, my emotions in a whirl
No hero can be perfect the war had taken its toll
Alcohol had become an addiction to fill that empty hole
It stole so much time from us all, the years they flew right bye
A VA doctors test messed you up then they sent you home to die
Another hospital then another again you went to die in ICU
More than three weeks on life support with IV's arms all black and blue
I was glad to get to see you,have the chance to hold your hand
My own still much smaller than my hero's, who's life had not seemed grand
I wish I could have been there today before you passed away,I had a few words I really
wanted to say
I love you dad and always will and happy fathers day
This poem is dedicated to my father who passed early this morning fathers day 2010

Five free range chickens surviving earth’s natural selection...
Spring flowers began to emerge while “Hefei” and hens explored.
Wary of snakes and possums, they moved about with caution.
Hunting, pecking and scratching, together in one accord -
One hen snuck into a pitched tent to lay her lovely eggs.
Behind some plants over wintered in a place nice and warm.
With shattered wing and broken shells, she felt survival plagues.
She emerged escaping death this time, enduring deform.
A few days later, she was gone, feathers strewn about.
One hen, then, another hid…sitting on precious eggs.
Within a month, the strutting rooster crowed his prideful shout.
Nineteen little chicks scurried out close to two hens legs.
ã June 7, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Eggs, but NO epulaeryus
Sponsored by: Black Eyed Susan

I was waiting for you
With an open arms
Your arrivals was such a happiness
That I was longing for
You left this world
Before you even seen it
This was the deepest sorrow
I ever had
It really tear me apart
I had so many dreams for you
That just gone with the wind
Without achieving anything
The bible says...
...never ask the Lord why
But, everything that happens
Happen for a reason
I never get the chance
To tell you that I Love you
Neither to hold in my arms
I never had the chance
To prove to you
That I am your protector
Your role model
A shoulder for you to cry on
Someone that you can rely on
I was so happy to receive
A new born in our family
But the day that I welcome you
Was that same day that I say...
...goodbye, farewell to you forever
You now belong to heaven
May your soul rest in peace
You will always be love and missed sadly
May the Good Lord
Bless and keep you always
I wrote this poem for my little sister who died during birth.

C_Coffee with chiccory her tasty delight
H_Happy was she with saltine crackers buttered
I_Intellect above with which she was gifted
C_Character was hers, caring for others with might
C_Cancer took her good life as takes those polite
O_Opportunity she gave many others
R_Right she always did because of great light
Y_Yes with Jesus now in His great light alright
C_Chiccory coffee Louisana was her brand
O_Opened doors for me to see different view
F_For she was kind, gentle, loving, refined soul
F_Family she loved gave to them friendship grand
E_Entered Kingdom for she trusted, love her goal
E_Eternal life for loving people whole
Contest;"The Sonnet Man's Acrostic Challenge
Sponsor:Dakarai Cobb
(Chiccory__is an alternative spelling of the
word Chicory..It is acceptable. This is about
my favorite Aunt.)

This Goes out to My Pop,
i've gotta stop,
you wouldn't wanna see me cry,
you would wanna see me fly,
i've let you down ,
Please don't frown.
I LOVE YOU POP!!
I've gotta Stop,
Turn my Life Around,
Only then will you be Proud,
I MISS YOU POP
But i've Gotta Stop,
All the hurt i hold inside ,
Of all the times i've cried,
Knowing you wanna see me smile,
Makes me wanna Give it a Trial,
You Will always Be A part of me,
What people Don't See,
Is What you mean to me,
Now your free
I begin to realise,
You were My Life's Favourite Surprise.....

So much rage
caught up in depression
now i have no one to turn too
i sit alone by my bed looking at the demon
He stands next to the closet
I wake up every night at 2 am
just before dead time
He makes sounds
i ignore them
He opens the closet door
And slams it shut
scarring me
One night he visits me in a dream
A dream where my family dies because i killed them
I wake up screaming
I would never hurt my family
Sometimes its hard to ignore the other world
They make you crazy and depressed
now you have to pay for the music that drug that demon to your home
All the metal music that killed you
The music that they said would save you
Ask your self are you alive now?
now that the demon got you?
I think of how it could be different
how if i listened to country my family would still be here
Demons are everywhere know that?
One is with you right now, watching you type your poems
Watching you read mine
What can they do you ask?
They can do much much more than what you expect
They crush your insides
Make your heart cold
They make you hurt
These demons are not to play with
A found out the hard way
now the pain wont stop
I cant make it go away
You will soon see what i have seen
Cling to god
Pray everynight before you close your eyes
Pray out loud every morning
Be thankful you havent seen your demon yet
All of us have one
they are all over the world
They will drag you to hell with them!

***********The Devil is Hipe'*********
------
I have said it before
And I will say it a again'
When it come's to Death
And Destruction
The Devil is alway's lending
A helping hand..
------
He sleeps' with the Heart
Of thy enemie....
He stir's the pot
He carries' their thoughts
-Fore-
He has a Handy
Forget Me not
------
He can rip right threw
A family....
With-out even giving it
A second thought..
----
These are thing's that We
Should really share..
But, the fact of the matter is
That You never even knew
He was there..
----
Fore He is every where
Since the begining of time
If you search for the Truth
Then He is harder to find..
-----
Their is such Evil
At His command
But, don't forget Jesus
He always' foil the plan
With just one simple
AMEN
And to this I say
AMEN
GF

On the day that you left us
I did not shed a tear
Not cause I was happy
I'm quite sure it was fear
I was afraid to cry
To show people that feeling
So I held my head high
Looking up at the ceiling
I held my mom
As tears fell from her cheek
and smiled when I found out
She'd be gone till next week
I was happy she left
To say one last goodbye
While Mary and I stayed home
And still I did not cry
I played my part well
Staying strong for my mom
I was her shoulder to cry on
Because you were gone
Yet at night I would lay
In my bed wide awake
When I was all alone
That's when my shoulders would shake
When no one could see me
I would cry on and on
I would cry for the memories
Sad cause you were gone
To the world a brave face
All alone I was scared
To show such emotion
Was more than I dared
Then one day I relized
I'd made a mistake
Then with my mom right beside me
My shoulders started to shake
For why should I hide
All alone in my room
I was merely a child
And I loved you too
I felt a lot better
After I'd cried
After I'd mourned
the fact that you'd died
Being strong for my family
That I will still do
Yet now I will make sure
That I can cry too
Goodbye papa
I'll see you again
Gone may mean forever
But it's never the end
IN MEMORY OF "PAPA" THE BEST
GRANDFATHER I HAVE EVER KNOWN
(july 12th 2012)

We fight this war as enemies
Yet if we threw away are weapons
We could be the best of friends
We would never know
We fight on impulse
With a fear of slaughter and pain
We came face to face
We did not speak
Only our fears fought
I now stand above you
Then kneel and close your eyes
I have killed you
I search your pockets and find a photograph
It’s of your mother, wife and children
It’s wet
I look closely and see tears
Streaming from their eyes
I fall and weep in victory
We were only boys
Who wanted to laugh and play
And stay alive
Only boys

Introduction: At some point of our lives, someone close to us departs off to the next
phase. We think of the good times and try not to think the bad; but sometimes it haunts us
back to how we responded in a naive way for our juvenile wishes. And sometimes we see them
in our dreams at the utmost optimism and glory. But the fact that we get to realize what
we did back then may have cherished and broken their souls in some ways, we always wonder
if we could alter the deeds that wounded their affection in our times of immaturity…And
pray that we get a second chance to do so for our next life. *the first two lines have some inspiration from another piece*

Even if our hearts were as strong as a storm, we’d still feel a little bit sad
Knowing that we’ve lost our grandfather, our friend, our dad.
For so many years, we’ve felt their presence
In so many ways, we’ve felt complete,
But truly, even if we deny – We sometimes skip a heartbeat.
Our lives are nothing but their memories and their art,
Orbiting us each day, reminding us of who we are
Where we stand and to whom we belong,
We pray and cry up oceans for them night after night
Praying to be together just one more time, in the worlds of light.
But yes you are so fortunate, that you got to leave,
You’ve made it to the greater step, I pray for us to meet.
May your soul be blessed and may it shine brighter than the sun, Again and again
‘I love you’ it’s not a lie, I may not have said it that much
But I hope you knew inside, even if I may have been unkind as such
Nothing is left for us to do but feel the tears stream down our eyes
For we, once in a while have broken their hearts with one or two lies,
Their face glows and vividly fades away from our dreams those nights
That’s when we fall, fall down to our knees, pray for we could have changed
The ways we reacted back in those days.
Thoughts of those moments, thoughts of their sorrow smile
Now makes us realize how we never cared,
For that to overcome, we treasure the good times we’ve shared,
The times we’ve heard them say “You’ve made me proud”
The times we’ve felt them lay their hands, oh so be crowned.
Their tender touch, their forgiveness
Their blessings for us and their happiness,
We pray to feel it all again
Bring it all again,
To the eternal life, after this time.

Her hands shook
as they wheeled
him away.
Had his lips
been dry?
Had his body
ached?
Had he longed
for a touch
against his
fragile skin?
Could she
have done more
to relieve
his pain?
Could she
have loved him more,
needed him more,
begged him more
to stay?
Her head swam
in the deafening silence
of guilt and sorrow
as she
buried herself
for feeling
relief.

Before the fog, when music rang
The house was warm; their love abide.
Sweet children to good parents sang.
While standing safely by their side,
The fire glowed and music rang.
Protecting strong from dark outside.
The cherubs watched until the tomb.
When orphans life took flight to doom.
Their mother’s harp made magic sounds,
Like angels dancing on the wind –
The little ones to fear were bound.
What fate for orphans would transcend?
The streets were cold; no warmth was found.
Two broken spirits hope would mend.
There perfect virtue white as snow.
Abyss of darkness let love flow.
An icy sidewalk cold and bleak,
Two children stood with freezing feet.
A night of refuge they must seek.
Too soon, the sun finds its retreat.
Where, strangers walked; sisters were meek.
How loudly those young hearts did beat.
Then, came the angel, golden hair.
The guardian took them to his lair.
Copyright January 14, 2014
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Written for Poetry Soup Meme er Contest: Let It Snow- 12 Paintings of Winter Free Sponsor Isaiah Zerbst
Inspiration from Philip Calderon’s painting, The Orphans

Our Ancestors fought to the death,
Just so we can live a brighter day,
So before you light up that blunt of meth,
Think about what you’re giving away,
It was a glad day in history when Obama rose to victory,
The first black president was all we knew,
Dark skin is in!
Haven’t you heard?
That even in our community,
You can get burned,
It’s a sad day when people would rather stay home and “Crank That Amber Cole”,
Than get up and run to a poll,
In our community,
Rockin’ Luis V is better than having a college degree,
And teen pregnancy is not only a trend,
But the single motherhood that follows should end,
Young girls learn of a wonderful prince to take them away,
Nothing should change thought their mothers prince didn’t stay,
And as the tears fade away,
She grows stronger every day,
In our community,
Fighting is no longer a word,
You argue with someone and shots are heard,
Girls showing places the sun don’t show,
So how do they expect the community to grow?
Where love is a figment of imagination,
Making a young child question her creation,
Young mothers would rather buy the iPhone 5,
Then satisfy her baby’s cries,
While her new man’s eye,
Wander up another girl’s thighs,
In our community,
Where #team dark skin vs #team light skin,
Makes others not love the skin they’re in,
Love, lust, hate, and trust,
Giving a rose on Valentine’s Day is no longer a must,
Where bad is good and good is bad,
Who would think to see their grandmother sad?
Her hurt and pain,
Shows how our community has lost everything her parents fought to gain.

I have missed you since the day you walked out!
I have missed your talks & our walks!
I have missed your smiles!
I have missed our times we spent being together in our home or out running our daily errands!
I wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice one last time. I think of you so very often & miss you too the Heavens & back! Life isn't the same without you apart of it. I miss you ever so much & wish you had not gone on so soon! I am getting by each day,but I hide it well so I don't have to explain my story to everyone insight. I miss you so much & wish you didn't walk out that door!
I miss you so much that I think I hear your footsteps walking across the floor!
I miss you so much that I at times think I hear you calling my name!
I miss you so much that sometimes I feel you brush the palm of your hand across my face!
I really wished Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice one last time!
Not a minute nor each hour or day goes by to where you are not missed or thought of or talked about! We all miss you ever so much!! Can't believe you walked out that door nearly 3 yrs ago! We all miss you & LOVE you & miss you so very Much!! Until We Meet Again..My Dearly Beloved Husband..I love you & Miss you SO Very Very Much!!

The white dragon hunts you.
With eyes of a predator, ever watching.
Waiting in the dark shadows to strike.
I have chased this dragon before.
For he has haunted me, as well.
Many a lifetime ago.
That you did not know.
There is terror in my heart.
I want to scream, run!
But you will not hear me,
Over the roar of his breath,
or the promise of more.
Your choice binds you to the chase.
No spell I can cast will be enough to save you,
Beautiful boy.
I can only stand here,
and watch,
as this dragon looms
over your poisoned mind,
and weakened body.
You are running out of time.
The chaos is closing in.
Gripping you tighter every time.
I cannot stand to watch.
My heart dies a thousand deaths.
You must run.
Please, I beg of you, for all you are beautiful boy.
I don't want to watch you slip into the past,
As you fall prey to the dragon.
Run!!
GypsyofEssence

From the sharp corners of the towering residence,
In perfect linear angles, the shadows slice the concrete path.
The blue party lights add ghostly vigour.
Brown hands toil, browned by rigour.
They dance around in rhythmic pandemonium
Through the murky cavities of the macabre residence.
Yet perfect silence prevails resolutely,
Stabbing vacuous corpses ruthlessly.
Through morning light they lie in deep slumber,
Fantasizing of animated times, now just tormenting rhymes.
And in the night, the foul feast begins again,
This is the festival of lights my dear men!

They gather round the hospital bed
United in a communal dread
Brothers, sisters, daughters and sons
Here to see the departing one
For there's no way back,
The doctors relate
And the poor old boy
Will soon meet his fate
A life cut short
By the demon drink
So into the ground
His body will sink
He didn't want it to end like this
A pale shadow of his former self
And faintly reeking of piss
But that's the way
It's sadly to be
At least his soul
Will soon be free

I lie in my bed
In the late evening
When it came to me,
The news
I was far asleep
But the dept of the news woke me up
William is no more.
My heart flipped in pain even more
And my head hurt me so much more
There he lie on the ground
Knowing nothing of life...
He crossed already to the other side...
Living his family behind
For him there was no more wind
For he has rested in flesh and in mind
I know you,
But now I knew him,
If you could open your eyes on last time
And see your family before the final time
If you could think and feel the pain you left
As you cross over.
I believed you was gone, when I saw you,
What a pity
Such a tragic city
What a cruel world.
We lived together in the day,
But now you live in the night
Every body cries, but yet you lie
Its noisy but yet your eyes are closed
Hours I remained sober
But when I sat and think,
My eyes began to wink
I could not control the tears
And so it rolled down from my eyes
Oh death, why have you no pity
Filthy upon filthy
Curse upon you death
And honor be to birth
So sudden!
And to the family, what a burden
You was my friend
Our friendship was sweetly
But it ended quickly
You will solely be missed
Adieu my before friend

Long time in the agricultural field , working under the rising sun ,
counting the amount of time , to lead a lax time with my wife and son ,
the time never came , but I passed a dozen of month ,
where my master stopped me , leering at me like a beast of hunt .
I heard the legato of my wife - flowing with the midnight winds ,
working continuously with no rest , logging all the work of my master - who is malign ,
he - such a maniac , who stopped me from having sufficient food ,
coming from the dark lands of Mombasa , never came to know their kind of manhood .
Oh my dearest wife and son , I wish you knew the worst state of mine ,
I cried and prayed to my almighty Lord , - "When would I get rid of this worst - twinge ! ,"
I cried and cried till it became dawn , where the soil cried too - for thirst on and on ,
my eyes began remembering of the majestic "Magpie" , crying for nights in the native land of mine .
I kept on thinking for you my love , but my sinew grew weedy and frail ,
never think for your frailty , for I have left you with nothing - but personality ,
the world is a stage which is too callous , no place for us , but only devilry ,
say no to your failure , keep inviting your success - for there is no time for me to exhale .
Now, there is no time for me to seek success , for my body is completely useless ,
I have no pain, no fear, no joy , for I have left the stage fearless ,
I defeated my fiendish owner ,who kept me far from my wife and son ,
that comes the end of my life , the setting period of my sun ... .

Whispers...
Don't wake her,
Let her rest.
Whispers....
Don't tell her,
She's not ready.
Whispers awakened her
From a drug induced
Slumber.
She listens
For a voice
So familiar
It could have been her own.
A voice
Cooing at a child,
Smiling in it's vibrations
Making promises
It will keep,
Making promises
It can never keep.
This voice was not there
Among the whispers,
And yet she yearned
To hear this voice.
The slumber was thick
And yet she swam
To the surface
Using all she could summon
To break the surface
To break the slumber.
As her eyelids fluttered
A strong hand
Grasped her hand,
Pulling her through
To the real world.
He sat at her bedside,
A face as familiar
As her own.
And with her eyes
She asked the question
He was afraid to answer.
"She was beautiful."
It was the word
Was
That plunged her back
Into the abyss of dreams
And unrealized wishes,
Leaving her there
For a day,
Or was it two.
When she woke,
Those words roused her.
When she slept,
Those words were her lullaby.
No child
Rested in her arms,
Once nestled in her womb.
No child
Suckled at her bosom,
Now heavy with sustenance.
No child
To cry out
For her mother.
Time waits for no one,
And days pass,
Then weeks and months
And soon a year
Had come and gone.
Soon another child
Filled her womb
And this child was born,
And then another,
And then another.
Three children
Had rested in her arms,
Suckled at her bosom
And cried out to her,
Their mother.
And when asked
About the fourth
She would say,
"She was beautiful."

Today we buried my angel
In her Sunday dress
Eyes and hearts fell
She now lies in Earth's caress
Her stolen tomorrow
Sprouts wings of glory
We celebrate without sorrow
A short yet beautiful life story
She heard the Heavens call
Bravely accepting the request
"Death makes angels of us all"
The words of her last breath
Today we buried my angel
In the bosom of the land
A smile lights the chapel
She now holds her mother's hand

Regret
I regret many things in my life.
Not been able to spend more time with my wife the love of my life.
I regret not been able to stay close to my mom and my dad, they were
All I had, my childhood memory, that yellow truck my dad got me.
How wonderful life is when you are young, when you try to reach up to the sky.
Everything seems so tall that was my challenge to grow old.
I regret not been there when my dad died. He loved me the most out of us nine!
I took care of him, helped him when he was weak, he used to tell me I don’t want to die I can’t leave. You are still young; I said: “hey are you serious dad”? “I have three kids!...I'm 53"
But I know he was too soft. He hated the thought of dying, he loved been with us just to make sure we're ok.
I regret when my mom died. She still bring tears to my eyes, my heart still bleeds
At the memory of her smile. When I need a back scratch she had the roughest hands
House work and cooking that she didn’t mind at all. I loved her all my life and when she got very sick she became like a child. Talking about why she can’t see in color any more?
It’s difficult to explain to a sick person especially your mom, you breakdown before you even start to tell her.
I regret when my wife fell sick with the big C, I questioned every little thing, to me I was always right in doing the right thing. How and why kept popping up every time I wondered
This thing happened too fast, it took me by surprise.
I blamed myself for not listening, when she complained about her agonizing pain, I thought it was just the same.
I regret many things in my life.
I thought If I can get a second chance, I would change it all again!

When his truck met
with nature so pure,
Did he know his time
was coming to an end?
Basic elements of life
taught each day
not to think twice.
Giving humans oxygen,
yet encouraging a raging fire,
just ordinary trees.
Did he know they would
cut his time short?
A cremation vault so sacred
destroys our lives.
It put him in a vase
rather than a box.
Does he know now
that he has come
to an end?
-Caroline Youngless

The couple had a little girl
and she was two years old
a pretty little thing she was
although just getting bold
she loved her parents very much
and let them know each day
she sometimes got in trouble when
she tried new games to play
The threesome went out frequently
to check out happy places
she could not help but notice
a whole world of different faces
the child saw everything as new
and saw it with great pleasure
her parents let her know a lot
that she was their great treasure
All who saw them in their walks
knew they were very happy
her folks would talk about her acts
even though some were sappy
The family took a camping trip
to live as days of yore
Her father thought he knew the best
to eat from country floor
while she slept soundly through the night
her Mom and Dad had died
the mushrooms dad had picked for lunch
were poisonous when fried
When she woke up she wondered why
her mom and dad were still
she yelled and cried till she was hoarse
but could not warm the chill
Her parents played a lot of games
this one she did not know
her mom and dad would not wake up
she had nowhere to go
She cried herself to sleep that night
tired out from all her tears
she felt her hunger growing now
first time in her two years
She did not wander far away
her thirst had made her weak
she did not like ths game at all
some comfort she did seek
They found them there after some days
they did not need to check
the little girl had died as well
her arms round daddys neck
Andrew B. Totten

I love you now more than ever ,
For you mean the world to me ,
I love everything about you ,
I'll search around the world for thee .
Your smile is so inviting ,
Your kisses are so divine ,
I want to hold you in my arms ,
And bring you safely home .
Whenever I am near you ,
I shake like a willow tree ,
The stars above shine brighter ,
Cause you belong to me.
The Ocean's wave in unison ,
They want to drag you in ,
But I am here to save you ,
" True Love' is from within.
I'm waiting by the window ,
Letting the sun shine in ,
Will you be there for me my dear ,
Together and without sin .

It's bout to get worse
It was written in the verse
The truth hurts
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED
When the time comes
No one's gonna hold up a sign
saying it's time to "get right"
It's gone come like a thief in the night!
Blowin' up and wreckin ish!
The war you want is the war you gone get
It was written before our time
We keep looking at the signs
manifest before our very eyes
constantly denying our right
to be one of the meek ones of our time
ARMAGEDDEON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED
We're at the end of what used to be existence
Every super power will answer to a higher power
so pray repentence
The time is closer than any distance
From Washington to Obama
No one will escape the wrath!
Hope you choose the right path!
Narrow is the gate of the righteous tracks
that are imprented on the mind of the omnipotent one
Will you be spared life on earth with the meek ones
and accurately take in knowledge of his son?
OR will you perish in the dust
never to be awakened again?
No consciousness of sin
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED!
It's in the verses
Read it, see it, live it, rehearse it
You see the times changing
You see the minds fading
You see the world and how messed up it is
You see that nigga satan and his curses!
I pray to have a chance to live a beautiful paradise on earth like it say in the verses!
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED
YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN WARNED

She was once as strong as an ox
Now she lays in a wooden box
When she was fit and a young girl at that
The boys used to tease her
But she was still the one they’d wink at
She was pretty and knew her own mind
She was smart, just one of a kind
She married at seventeen
Not a man that she loved
Just, one she approved of
Chosen by her father
With the hope they may fall in love
She worked hard in the fields
Bringing food to the table
Every day digging and sowing
What she was able
They made a life together and she bore
Five sons and 2 daughters
He was away working there after
And though she worked her fingers to the bone
The house was always full of laughter
Her children were her life she kept them clean and well fed
And made them do chores to learn the value of bread
As the years passed her by her looks faded and tired
And her body grew weary and sad
when her husband expired
She never travelled or had money to burn
But her life was fulfilled and I never heard her yearn
For the easy life that I have
Now she lays there contented knowing in the life that she had
She did her best by her family through good and through bad.

We made an Angel for Jesus,
although he was tiny and small,
he’s now in the army of Jesus,
and helps to watch over us all.
Our baby was born in October.
A beautiful blue eyed boy.
He appeared to be healthy and happy,
he filled our hearts full of joy.
We had him for only a short time.
His life seemed so normal at first!
Just before he was two, without warning,
his health took a turn for the worst!
Six months later, he went up to heaven,
to explain it, we won’t even try!
For a while, we were groping for reasons,
why someone, so young had to die?
We kept on searching for answers,
for what we could not understand?
Why God, would let this thing happen,
was it all just a part of His plan?
All of a sudden it hit us,
we knew just what God had in mind!
He let us make Him an Angel,
to help Him watch over mankind!
Yes, we made an Angel for Jesus,
although he was tiny and small,
but he’s big in the Army of Jesus,
and helps to watch over us all!
Dedicated to Angel Bobby
(Robert William Taylor - 1968-1971)

There is a mirror
Beyond a woman's heart
Beyond the image of man
(Beyond your wife and father)
That shows you
Who you are and always were
Once upon a time and still
And still
The mirror can be
The surface of the calmest Inland Sea
Of white time
Which moves so quickly
It appears to stop and still
Reflections
Reflections
Of a lifetime met
Since highchairs became
Stares across the dinner table
Now appearing in your shaving mirror
Each morning
Are not you
But touch and word and play
Reflections of
Eyes of others
Eyes of others
Re-presenting you to you
As they see and feel
And hear and move you
As reflections of THEIR selves
Your mother's son. your father's son, your son's father
Your sister's brother, your brother's keeper
Keeping in these echoes THEIR identities
Folded in the surround protected from
The shattering
The shattering
The mirror can be
Of illusion of force and ceremony
Of bonds and chains and 'sposed-to -bes
Images of custom fractured
Rank and riches crown and king fall to
Nothing
Nothing
Scattered ashes on the waves
And ripples of time beyond you
Who you are and always were
Once upon a time and still

Sweet little girl who snuck upon her mom
without plans already in place to meet,
you’re a tiny hero, a bitter balm
for the wound that left an empty car seat.
A routine visit that ended in tears,
and an operation for the next week.
My sister’s truth was a mother’s worst fear,
never to hold her babe, to stroke her cheek.
After the grim appointment, her eyes glazed
her heart rate jumped high, and her fever raised.
Illness would have stolen her, but for fate.
You had asked a favor at heaven’s gate.
Thank you for saving my sister, sweet one.
I wish though, it didn’t mean your life was done.
11/3/12

The rebellious Teen loved all his friends.
The only ones he listened to… were them.
They wanted him to drink and smoke every night.
They said experimenting with drugs was definitely all right.
The rebellious teen’s mom was beside herself…
This was her child and this could finish his life.
But he continued to listen to the Devil himself.
What could she do in the end to save his life?
The devilish friends held him closely in the palm of his hand…
In the end she decided she had to move far away from them.
Somewhere… where only new friends he could find.
Those who loved life, sports, and learning: to draw him back in.
Then every so often she let him, for a visit, to go back…
Each time he went, fewer were left to contact, yes, some were even dead.
Some had over dosed… Some didn’t care who he was any more.
What he found was rot and that they lacked the drive to live.
The rebellious teen cried for what he saw they had become…
He had changed and now could see, what was happening to them…
These were no longer the friends that he remembered from before.
He tried to save them with words and his love… but they didn’t care.
He didn’t want to go back to that sadness, to live ever again…
Now he looked to the future and that was a fact.
The moral I tell you, all of my friends…if he won’t listen to you…
Then find him new friends.
For if he is your life and if you want him to live…
Find others to help steer him or else you can’t win…
Let his support group be new peers who enjoy life to the brim.
Yes, those who will help lead him to walk in the light again.
From a true experience…

Her eyes, though once bright, are cloudy,
Shrunken and fragile the form
That long was brimful of vigor
And a will to outlast life's storms.
She stares past a blank horizon
Through a door that I do not know;
The colors she sees are mem'ries,
Scents and sounds of the long ago.
A kaleidoscope of faces
Turns merry-go-round in her mind;
While trees out her window whisper
Soft lullabies long left behind.
The sound of my cheery greeting
Draws her back to this metal room,
Away from a creaking rocker
And her mama's sweet, gentle croon.
If is not my name she whispers
As I bend down to kiss her cheek,
But a name more dear than ever
Mine was is the name that she speaks.
"Papa," the feeble voice quavers.
I'm no more a part of her world;
The grandma that soothed my sorrows
Is once again Papa's wee girl.

so much pain
Lord why did you have to take Dwayne
I dont mean to question your judgement
but I just miss my cousin
in hindsight I can see that we was living wrong
but I dont think the cure was two bullets in his lungs
at the funeral while they quote proverbs and Psalms
I'm holding on his moms arm trying to keep her calm
she crying my sons another homocide victim
if that bullet would have knicked him it would have gotten our attention

10 years later and the angels
still cry their tears of blood drops
your family's still in pain on this
cursed day the day you decided
life wasn't worth it any longer
you had enough so you took
it and left us behind how am I
suppose to trust anybody if I know
in a moment you could end it all
and leave this mess for me to pick
up is this how you wanted me to
turn out no trust or love left in
my heart because that's what
happened on this day 10 years ago

written 2nd Aug 2013
This life is not as it should be
pick up your wife, can't you see
You're her husband, stand up!
give her a reason, to again believe
She means 'everything'....to this family
shutting the door leaving her totally... Alone
Do you actually know her at all...
damaging her heart and soul, deep within it's cold
Loneliness consumes her, it's been so long
it must be asked...do you still love her?
Are you willing to help her to her feet again?
or shall you sit back and watch, as she see's the end
This is completely left for only you, her husband to declare
how much does she really mean to you...do you still care?
Will you step up, or let her rot into total depression, you see it...
Love and care, or death and dispirit
It's all up to you!
Her loving husband, what will you do.....

If I weren’t alive,
I guess I’d be dead.
I’d be a soul,
Floating around the universe.
There’d be no sound,
Just my thoughts to keep me company.
All the sweet silence,
And nothing but calm all around.
If I weren’t alive,
I would miss my family,
But I’d still visit them.
I’d know they were okay,
Because I’d be the one to protect them.
If I weren’t alive,
But only just a soul,
I might get lonely.
I might miss your face,
And I’d miss the love that your arms hold,
When they’re holding me.
If I weren’t alive,
And only a soul,
I don’t think I’d be as happy,
As I am down here on earth.
I think I’m glad that I’m still alive.

Kisses good-bye; waved out the door.
Sitting at the shore. The water is still rolling.
You want to know how much longer I'll be here for.
We'll all be here till death is at the door. Methadone,
morphine will squelch the pain, but for that ONE day
when it won't work anymore.
All the threads have been cut around the spool ahead.
There will be nothing but pain and nothing at the store.
People like it when I'm cheery and I don't know where to
put myself anymore.
Sit, stand, lay; I have no real reason to stay. I am warm
and cozy under this hood. My body is clean. That is
understood. My cuticles are disgusting. Is this the purply glut
they talk about in signs and symptoms of the dead and dying?
They are not the nails you see in Cosmo for manicure ads, you
know, manicures to die for.
My mouth feels mucky and brushing my teeth is a chore. I can't
remember one breakthrough from another. Holidays forever around
each corner; it would appear I'll still be around, what a drag; the wet blanket.
Dead broad walking down the dining room hall.
If I could cry and know the river would actually wash these tears away
for GOOD; I'd lay down and weep for weeks on end if it we're understood
that this would be the bloody end.
Tears aren't painful, nothing more than a wash. Not everything is as someone else says.

The pain of change as it unfolds
Is oft a tale that stays untold
What is seen is a whole creature
not deep holes in the feature
nor concrete soles that makes his feet hurt
It all begins with a soft kiss
He is walking with a false bliss
Only following in paw prints
But the nature of mom's lips
Is to rob him of all innocence
Trapped in warm spindles of fear
A wrapped life form kindles in here
Four years bound to shingles of moss
Time to leave this life of sloths
Break free like that of a moth
and Rise again like Christ on the cross

Gazing out the window
rain pounding like a drummer in a parade
I let my eyes fall closed
and I picture his emerald eyes
his bright smile that lights up a darkened sky
and his scent - a mixture of the rain outside and the pine trees beyond my sight
I then allow my lids to open
and I gaze at the polished black pistol in my hand
As I lift it, the heaviness a slight surprise
the sight of his blood stained on my freshly painted wall
fills my mind with the memories of his misery
I yearn to join him
and so I lift the pistol higher and higher until I feel the coldness on my temple
and I enjoy the last moments with my memories of his beautiful face as it kisses mine
while I pull the trigger harder and harder
and then comes the blast
and I've joined him at last
and I see his face again
and again he kisses me sweetly
I see his bright smile
emerald eyes
and that wonderfully blissful scent makes me whole
and I am Home

Calcified bones from spent lives
etched in stone above and around you.
You lie with others
unable to hear
or meet these words on any page.
It's cold even though you won't feel it.
Part of me wants to introduce the
others with whom you lay
to somehow warm that place
with blankets of sunlight.
That would make me feel better about you being there
since you have to be there.
Another area of my mind faces
an equal challenge:
Whether I should be thinking about you
as my Dad, or as a person or after 9 years,
as being gone.

I stumble upon a river
the way it flows and feels
I take my shoes off and run threw it
laughing looking up towards the sun
I wake up and it was all just a dream
my sister runs up the stairs
she slams her door
i asked her what was wrong
she looked at me
She says "mom told me you were adopted"
at first i laughed as i thought it was a joke
I run downstairs to see my mom and dad sitting on the couch
"mom?" i say
she replies "its true we adopted you!"
she got up and walked into the kitchen
"after all this time i thought i was yours" i say
My father gets up and walks out the door
My mom lays her hand on her forhead
Just dont worry about it everything will be okay
"No it wont i say"
i felt fake like i wasnt who i was suppose to be
i just sat on my bed thinking about the whole thing
my whole life and who i should have been
I packed my bags that light and i ran away
leaving the less important things behind
i set out on a journey to find my real parents
I had my sister get there info. from my dads office
I took a bus to indiana and looked up there address
As soon as i found it i knocked on the door
A man opened the door
he said "who are you?"
i say "apparently i am your son?!"
"you put me up for adoption?" i repeat
He yells "ANNA!?, Some kid is here for you!"
i repeat the story to her as she denied it
She looked bruised and beaten up
I wanted to help her but the man hut the door on my face
I had no where to go now
So i started on a journey back home
But i never made it there
I found that old river i use to go too
i stayed there for a few weeks until
i remembered the way back.
I found myself that day
I realized that i was fake but now im not because i know that i am just me not any of them

To the Newtown Children
A poet cries with broken heart
Look thine hearts be washen clean with death,
God knows how hastily can be
By an unfitting goodly young man
Become just another evil’s killer.
Take thou no mean of life
That so tenderly and small
Arranged now along that cold room
Where a hundred of parents
Like you and I look on poor children that thou think:
One day they shall be a doctor or a thinker like us.
To understand really why the hungry death
Has to do for their final journey in front of this sickness?
O, children! American children! My children!
I warn thee in all my heart and soul
That could not happen so earlier on life
And where thou cast the peace and saint in the kindness of grace
Take care of them from danger, thou take for a leaf
And makes my heart bleeding every one like us become angry
How in this heavenly nation this massive fate could occur?
Hold me fast in thine embrace God,
Where my despair cannot be silenced,
Let you and me and everyone else to knee and cross
Our fingers against our chest and pray for them,
Give them, Lord, thy blessing give,
Pray for them and mother as well,
And I shall finish this poem with trembled
Fingers and tears cascading over this bloody
Sheet as an awaken wind has just blown it from me.

YOUNG CRONUS (5.7.09)
My father decided he wanted his children
buried, and left for dead.
But my mother, Gaea, both fair and true,
spared her children instead.
So I met with my selfish father,
where, by Gaea, we both were led,
and, holding the sickle she gave me,
this is what I said:
"Hello, dearest father.
I'm glad that you came. After years without you,
I know how you feel about us.
I just hope you know: We feel the same about you."
"But we are not here to argue.
I came here to say good bye."
He knew farewells were in order,
but he did not yet, know why.
I explained our situation,
as my siblings stood idly by,
saying, "If you don't want to have children,
you cannot be swayed, so I won't even try.
But its too late to go back now.
You cannot erase my family and I.
So that leaves us only one option,
and that's why I'm saying goodbye."
"Goodbye, worthless father.
I'm glad that you came. Now pay what is due.
We know how you feel about us,
and now you know how we feel about you."
He regretted the seeds he had sewn,
so, in charity, I reaped his remorse.
I swung my sickle pure and precise,
with such fervent and furious force;
His blood was late to react to the wound,
and that which was lost by means of divorce,
found it's new home in the deep, dark, blue ocean-
unable to ever return to it's source.
Together with most of my brothers and sisters,
there seemed to be no better fit
than to send him away, as he would have sent us;
to the bottomless Tartarus pit.
"Goodbye, worthless father.
I'm glad that you came, and you paid what was due.
We knew how you felt about all of us,
so we showed you just how we all feel about you."
"Farewell forever, father.
I'm glad that you're gone, and I'll never atone.
Know that your fear was what you created,
as I take my seat in what once was your throne."

my constant friend
i still
do not know
exactly what we
are doing here
but i feel death is
starting at my feet
and working up
so......
i must ask you to
tell my lover and
my mother that
i willingly give
my life so that
they may be free
tell them to look
at each spring
as a blessing and
talk about how i
loved the spring.
and to you my
dear friend, if you
make it out of here
i am going to
ask you to give a
extra kiss to those
you
love
then think of me
well the time is
here and i shut
my eyes....no i
do not hurt. i see
my daddy and my
grandad at the gate
and i must run to
meet them.
i have made it here
and i am truly free.
by janetta

When the coven of ill-willed women seek revenge,
from anyone they deem too big for their britches,
They go to the book of sorcery for witches,
In the book, they seek deliverance from women
who shine brighter than morning stars,
looking for panaceas and disasters,
Brews that could curl their hair and tarnish their shoes,
Nothing short of voodoo,
They'd even stoop to mixing up batches of goulash,
sprinkled with feces, and disguised by hash,
Their boundaries are limitless when they want to anhiliate,
They would go as far as tempting fate,
A feast of feces becomes no trouble at all,
when they want to cast anyone away,
so they may become the Belles of the Balls.......

< "Hark" the Herald Angels begin to sing
"Jesus"patiently awaits so her children can say their last goodbyes
Cancer is the one thing she will not have to bring
For she earned her wings and is now free to fly
Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Perception Of Heaven's Contest
G.L. All
RIP Mama
{1934-2005}

A Young Beautiful girl with so much spirit in her to lift the soul
With blissful hopes to come she would become a queen they did not want
Many loved her beauty as a child but her step mother
Of a selfish dander king family did not like her at all
They wanted all but wrong for her and to lock her in a chamber with ash
And dust that filled the air
Far away from society king wanted because they felt she was from rags in poor
Stead of riches and wealth a lonely child from the cottage where
The king’s witch of a sister raised her.
She became a slave scared to face the king’s wicked sister
She abide by what she was afraid to go
With a single tear she longed to be free and become
Something more than an average girl.
But a girl that rises up from the hate and dander rules set by one world
She wanted to be free to be loved and liked for what she believed in
As the days went on she grew stronger and rising from the pain in her heart
And by the twisted society by her step moms brother who wanted nothing
But sorrow and to be down in the dumps of rags
She took a stand for freedom a stand for love and never backed down
From her past she kept on fighting a battle which seemed endless
As she looked to the moon crying out with screams that echoed in the forest
Sounding so loud half a forest could hear
She took the dagger and the shield took it to her heart and utter words like these
Lord of the sky’s guide me today and give me much more strength
Then I had yesterday and as my will to rise be ever strong may I not rest
Till this dander evil king is no more
She went off and into the castle she snuck into with mighty dagger and shield with the heavens by her side she struck him out and proclaimed freedom and love to all this is a girl truly rising faith and all that stands for what’s right a brave girl that rises from hate
this is a girl rising up from the pain
Poem story for contest( Girl Rising )
by brian otoole 8-05-13

Someday at any time I could be gone…
When it happens don’t you dare be sad?
I am saved and living in God’s great beyond,
Enjoying the best times that I’ve ever had.
Now I hope to be caught up into the cloud,
However God’s timing and planning are right,
To be adjoined with all the redeemed crowd,
So take up the mantle and against satan fight.
The battle will not be over till the devil’s in hell,
If you are not born again I’d encourage you to be,
Be a watchman till Jesus makes all things well,
So your soul too can be made eternally free.
Remember my wife, sons, daughters, whom I love,
The rest of my family, friends, all of those who care,
Outside of grace you were my treasure from above,
Life was wonderful, I am so glad we got to share.
Now as I bring this poem of eulogy to a close,
All my sufferings are over with pains all gone,
It’s okay to cry over my death but a party I propose,
For on satan I have the last laugh my journey’s done.
Pr 27:1 - Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may
bring forth.

If you leave I will Die
These words spoken, nay more a yell
has put my heart deeper into hell.
Astonished indeed the grip held tight
from grandmas weakness came mighty might.
Her pleading eyes forever will haunt
until the grim reaper to me will taunt.
Across the states in airplane I flew
when call of grandmas dying became my news.
To sister and father these words she spoke
when Catherine arrives, tomorrow my last awoke.
With her visit she declare “I shall die
willing and ready, all peace have made I”.
Yet simpleton girl, granddaughter did make
“No death to you, a healing you shall take”.
Each day grandma’s strength vigor and glow
“Run away death, this passing I shall slow”.
So strolls in the park under brightly lit sun
granddaughter believes this battle is won
Such dependence a quick arrive
now that grandmas been ordered …survive!
Seems her life saved now owe I do
grandma demands, switch of the shoe.
Walk in my stead weary she say
Bored beyond, each passing long day.
Her bidding I cry “What to do ?”
“Walk, chocolate? Fix my air tube too” !
Said not in grace nor thankful choir
not kind to you, or nurse for hire.
The walls came in on me at last
must break free, these walls to blast.
An avalanche of tears came down
now grandma left with a terrible frown.
“You break my heart ,you must not leave”.
And I to her, “I must you see”.
“But if you leave I know I die”.
These words to me, did make me cry.
Yet out the door, I did make pass
Knowing soon come, my grandmas mass.

I never really told you how much I love you
In fact, I waited way too long
Time was an enemy; you were up there in years
And naturally, you had to move on
When I was a child, I thought you a monster
I often times wished you away
When voices got loud and that darkness set in
In that moment, I’d cry and I’d pray
I prayed you to Hell; didn’t know better
Hoped God was listening that day
But, I had grown up and witnessed your change
Which prompted me too late to say
I pray you’re in Heaven
Instead of in Hell
God loves you as He loves me, too
I was a young child
So scared of you, then
If you hear me, please know this as true
Hell is the place
Where I would remain
If angels had you under wing
I’d suffer the fires
Being happy there, too
To know that God let you in
I’m sorry I waited and now with regrets
I hope you can hear me this day
May you be looking and down from the clouds
From up there in Heaven, I pray
Your sin was your struggle, the bottle had won
And I, I just couldn’t see
That despite all the yelling and fear that I had
You were still the best mother to me
I pray you’re in Heaven
Instead of in Hell
God loves you as He loves me, too
I was a young child
So scared of you, then
If you hear me, please know I love you

I'll hold fast, cling to the echo of your fading chime.
Remember the intonations of your wisdom, revel
in the moments that were a balm to my soul as it
was young, and breaking free.
Your blood still runs, in these veins..
alive in my journey.
My heart beats in rememberance,
the song of my ancestors;
I'll hold it here, in this blood
that you gave and know
that you are still with me.
-James Kelley 2014, All rights reserved.

Oh how I wish I could go back,
To heal the pain inside my heart;
To say goodbye before it was too late,
To see you smile at me once more;
To heal the pain inside my heart,
To hear your laughter fill the air,
To see you smile at me once more;
What I wouldn’t give to just go back,
To hear your laughter fill the air,
To say goodbye before it was too late,
What I wouldn’t give to just go back;
Oh how I wish I could go back.
~For Paula's Back to Bacl Contest~

They said her time had come
No place to run
No place to hide
No time for fun
Just an empty vessel inside
Going through the motions
Numb.
Overwhelming emotions
They said her time had come
They said her time had come
Evil coats
She wants to run
She desires to have fun
Not understanding why she can not play
It is now the month of May
Another denial letter
Another denial to get better
They said her time had come
They said her time had come
Why such looks of sorrow?
She doesn’t understand
For there is always tomorrow
Evil coats
She takes a breath
Smelling all of the flowers
No place to hide
Now literally an empty vessel inside
They said her time had come
Her time had come
Her bald head
Just four years old
She looks to comfort from her mom and dad
Why do they look so sad?
Evil coats drag them away
She never got that chance to go out and play
Beep. Beep. Beeep.. Bleeeeep…..
The room floods with long white coats
Now to heaven this little girl floats
Her time had come
They said her time had come
She was just a name
No money, undeserving of fame
Easy for her to be denied
If only the suits had looked her in the eyes
Who is to blame?
Sent to the free clinic
Now dead at four
No insurance
Ooops! What a shame…
She could have been saved
Now two parents at her grave
Once a happy family, now destroyed
Because THEY said her time had come

Fill me with lies
No goodbyes
Kill me with sorrow
No tomorrow
Break me with words
This is absurd
Drown me with hate
Is it too late?
To apologize...to apologize
Look me in the eyes...
And apologize...
You will never understand me
And you’re never going to find me
You took a part of me
That didn't belong to you
Well, live with what you got
I have nothing more to lose
Leave me here to rot
I have nothing more to lose
And if i do...
The only thing I'm losing is you...
So fill me with lies
Say your goodbyes
Shoot me with sorrow
There's always tomorrow
Your words can't break me
Your hate can't drown me
Look me in the eyes
You absurd man
It's never too late
To apologize...

He walked me down a broken fence line when I was five.
He put the soil in my hands and taught me it was alive.
He spoke to me of life, in a gentle voice.
Taught me wrong from right, and left me with the choice.
He boosted me up on a saddled horse.
Taught me the things that would carry me through my life’s coarse.
He took my small hand in his work worn hand,
As he took me out in the fields and taught me the land.
And there was always a warm smile behind kind eyes.
Smile down at my small face, gentle and wise.
Showed me how to stack hay in a barn when I was eight.
And I can still remember swinging on a cattle guard gate.
And the day he told me someday he would be gone.
The only time in my young life I thought my papa was wrong.
On a wide front porch he told me stories of how life used to be.
And he would say it was a better time, and I would agree.
I still remember climbing up in his lap to sit on his knee.
He was the biggest part of what made me.
A man who taught me to work for everything I had.
He did. They just don’t make em’ like they did my grandad.
In my child eyes he was a man among men.
And I know there will never be another like him again.
These tears I just cannot hide.
For the last good man left, has died.
6-17-10
Sarah D Comstock

The Illuminating path's Serenade my Vision,
The Blindening Rays of faithful horizon leap into me,
Our Memories of togetherness clasp me to the loop of life,
still I am lusting to cross-over and meet the Chaismatic-End!!
After which,our souls will intertwine and remain in enlightened glory forever!
Life had been an autumn full of blossoms,
My love lay in my arms in unrequited glory,
life was a maze of puzzled quotes,
the dooming evil recruited you into its gloomy shadows,
and i learn't my first chapter about death.
DEATH is a slow poison gushing through time
and seeping through seconds,
Blistering a thousand souls,
abandoning a many infants,
sucking away the more needed ones,
Thwarting pain and inflicting illicit wounds.
BUT losing hope means losing "US"
At a jerk,our infancy angel crosses over with warmth,
And the hallucinating illuminating paths fade away!!
And i realize my quest in this unfarthomable journey,
TO LIVE,LOVE AND SUCCEED DEATH!!

A letter was received from a far-off land,
please send us some aid if you possibly can.
Our fields are barren, our cattle long gone,
our farmers are now soldiers leaving wives at home.
Some of our families are homeless, dwellings destroyed,
by shells aimed at our villages, which we cannot avoid.
Our children are starving; they have no clothes to wear.
As for medical supplies, these are very scarce.
So please send at once the things we desperately need,
food, clothing, and medicine, this we beg and plead.
We must thank you for all that you have done,
and could you also send more ammo for our guns.

Lies
told
to self.
In spite of
one’s own inner voice
you deceive more than just one’s self.
Creating doubt in Ye making some become lost souls.
Always is the enemy on the hunt destroying life within creates in you sin

I watched you burn
in the blazing fire
I heard your screams
I saw your tears
I knew I should've done somthing
But maybe I didn't want to
I know I shouldn't think like this
But you had it coming
And
I enjoyed your face that was full of horrer
I acted as if I was heartbroken when the police came
They said it wasn't my fault
But how wrong they were
You see
I started the fire
I was the one who watched my parents die
With absolute pleasure
Yeah
I'm in a orphanage
But who cares
Those bastards are out of my life
For good
And I made sure of that
Every night
I try to sleep
I try to forget them
But I am a child after all
They were my parents
And I...and I killed them
I'm cold blooded murderer
I try to do something
Except tell anyone
I may be a child but I'm not stupid
It's been years now
I still can't forget their faces
Their agonizing faces
I sometimes cry to myself
Thinking about it
No matter how many times I want to stop
I just can't
This guilt that I have brought apon myself
Will never leave
Even if I'm dead
It wont stop
Ever

'Ding-Ding-Ding'
Round 1
Your knees became weak
Learning that your opponent was The Great Enah;
The one to never lose a match.
The one to tear you apart from the inside,
with a double right hook to a left
uppercut combo,
and finally a killer left jab to the
right cheek to only take you out
for 3 seconds at a time;
Round 6
My heart sunk
Learning of your match when you were half way done.
At this point
struggling
just to
keep your
breath.
Battlescars have taken captive your beautiful flesh
Wrinkles of veins stand like mountains
above valleys of blood on your deteriorating skin.
Yet I watch you continue on,
to land a glorifying punch to say
"Everything will be alright."
Round 12
The final countdown
Revealing the final combo
A fatal melee straight through the chest.
I fell to my knees as she tumbled to the ring's floor.
The impact of her body loosely colliding to the ground
echoed in my gut.
6 Rounds,
Not even 60 or 600,
could prepare me for this moment -
She lost.
'Ding-Ding-Ding'

I can smell the pies a baking
Upon the warmest summer day
Even with windows wide open
It’s a scent not gone away
She was there before the changing
Making food just like before
But once the afternoon had come
It was the bottle, wanted more
Now there were many of us still under
Yeah, under the roof she called her own
But, to this child who knew no better
This was my mom and too my home
Despite the angry, angry bottle
That turned her feelings dark and gray
I knew my mother forever loved me
Though I wished my mom away
How sad I am today
That the bottle
Made me wish my mom away
Many years were cast upon us
I had grown into a family man
A hard working, white collar worker
Trying to do the very best I can
With my wife standing beside me
I have strength to look back and see
My misinterpreted emotions
And all my mother meant to me
She was here to see my children
She tried to make up for all she did
But all she had ever wanted, really
Was to be happy and to live
For she had so many children
I was the youngest of her ten
Yeah, I was my mother’s baby
But I never knew what it really meant
Until now that I’m a father
And sometimes things, they get so tough
It’s so easy to dive into a bottle
But, it’s love that makes one stop
She did that for my children
But, I never really saw her change
And never had the chance to tell her
All my feelings, cause it got too late
My mother left this world not long ago
She met my dad on Heaven’s floor
My only sadness is I never told her
That I couldn’t have loved her more
That I was thankful for all her loving
All the gifts she had given me
For her teachings of life in general
And my family’s history
I was grateful for her changing
But not the woman that she was
She was perfect in that way

Photographs are taken away
Memories of a lifetime are forgotten
Dust has been scattered over all the fingerprints
Dishes packed away
Telephones are no longer ringing
Clothes still unused
Records are no longer playing
Blood still remains on the carpet
No more sunshine
No laughter
Just the haunting silence
The dead still appear in the darkness of the corners
The clock rings that same old lullaby
Its too late to say goodbye
But not too late to make up with the ghosts

Hollowed eyes and tortured soul
Spitting words that didn't flow
Forcing smiles that always faded
His memories fond, distorted and jaded
Ups and downs, half smiles and frowns
His mind was spinning round and round
A heart bigger than a sunrise sky
So numbed he left and didn't say goodbye
The darkness seized him, held him tight
Squeezed so hard life became a fight
A fight to eat, a fight to breathe
Hatred flowed and emotions seethed
He never forgot and never forgave
The angst inside him dug his early grave
Handsome groom, number one dad
The best friend I truly ever had
Woke up one day not feeling well
Couldn't take this life in hell
Began his journey to what comes after
Mom comes home, finds him hanging from a rafter
Terror sets in and shock takes over
In a blink of an eye their marriage was over
Two nightmarish calls, one to each daughter
Cries and screams like lambs at the slaughter
And so we march on, soldiers in a state of shock
Thinking it's him, every phone call and knock
Now, I hope, his tortured soul's at peace
But we, the survivors, are haunted with memories and grief
Does the cycle continue - depression and shame?
Will I follow my father through the shadows of pain?

As I look at the whites of your eyes
I feel horror, fear rumbling inside me.
I grind my teeth together when I see you walking.
I fear you, I fear when you talk, shout, when you raise your hand.
I'v always feared you, but no more.
The fear I had of you I turned it into courage.
Now I no longer fear you.
I laugh when you raise your hand, when you shout.
Cuz the only thing I see you as...
Is a dead man walking.
And now your in the ground where you belong.
( If you may PLEASE comment of Mail me. Sorry i havn't been on in a long time... ALOT has happened this year to me)

you say you love me
you say you care but when it comes down to it
youre not therre
youre just in the corner
yelling real loud
saying
youre not worth *****without me
u have any doubt
i fill my mind with silence i calm the storms
i close my ears
but youre there
screaming more
making my mind split into 2
youre not the man i wanted
i wanted someone that could do
what youll never do
look after youre daughter and me
thought that made us 3 but its not u and me
youve decieced
after the woumb youve been in
we r devided

We have held you as you cried........................
Hi Mum it's your darling daughter,
Looking down from up above.
Just to tell you that I'm doing fine,
And to send you all my love.
Tell Dad to dry his tears,
It was no ones fault i know.
I will always be his little girl,
As I watch my brothers grow.
Mum, I miss my goodnight kisses,
I miss your tender touch.
I miss those bedtime stories,
I miss you all so much.
But do not worry, I'm not alone,
I've Grandad at my side.
Even though you haven't seen us both,
We have held you as you've cried.
We have watched you bringing flowers,
Seen you wipe those tears away.
I will always be your little girl,
Now and every breaking day.

The man who raised me, his hair has become so very gray.
The hands that once held me, their skin is now so paper-thin.
I know, the time is coming close where he shouldn’t live alone.
What can I say, that he doesn’t already know?
He wants his independence, but I hear a waiver in that thought.
So now I begin to worry and want to call him every night.
I cried when my mother died, but with him I will cry so much more.
As long as he’s alive… I still feel tethered in their love.

Give me a hug
squeeze me tight
I want to hear your breath
next to mine
Tell me a story
so i can laugh,
tickle me till my voice
runs dry
Say goodbye
before you leave
I will miss you so, if you don't
Oh can't you see
I'm afraid you will just
go away without
a hello or a goodbye
I am showing you my love
can't you see
why are you
turning yours away from me
I will tickle you
and tell you stories
again and again
If you will say goodbye
Just one more time
to, me
Nov. 5, 2009

Tetractys version:
Her
eyes blinked
then fluttered
She was awake
We rushed over weeping tears of relief
Another family passed in the hall
Huddled as one
We noticed
they wept
too
Tanka version:
inaudible words
eyes blinking and fluttering
she was waking up
we rushed over to her side
weeping warm, sweet tears of joy
arm in arm, heads bowed
another family passed
who wept as we did
yet they wept different tears
their tears were not tears of joy
Deb's contest

There once was a man who lay sick in bed
He could not get up to reach his wooden-leg
He had no maid or family to bid it
So lived a lonely life he did
His wife had died of slavery
His heart did break in a thousand ways
The reason he had no leg is a mystery..
The old man died sadly
Myself did weep a bit
For a sickly man should not die alone
His only friend was me
a little mouse with a family of three
When he pleaded with me to fetch his leg
I could not manage being so small
He said ' it didn't matter anyway,
he was sickly and only had a few hours to live'
It was true that he did
but myself did pray for his soul
He was the kindest old man
with his big heart of gold

Missing You
by Amy Swanson
Sunny day...
reminds me of the warmth
in your smile
Today I saw
a mom and daughter
walking arm in arm
talking
laughing
shopping...
how I wished it could be us.
It seems so many little things...
and some days, it is everything...
or even, just anything.....
reminds me of you.
I remember
your laugh...
the sparkle of your dark brown eyes
a merry mischief twinkled
from their depths
I remember
how we talked
of everything
and nothing
at the same time;
no one else has ever understood me like you did.
All my bad...
my faults and habits...
rebellious teenage years...
you loved me still
like any good mother does.
*and you were*
Such a good mother.
Oh, how I wish that I could tell you
one more time
how much you've meant to me
how much
I love you.
My little girl was sick the other night...
and as I bathed her with wet towels
bringing down her fever,
checking on her through the night
medicines around the clock
constant hugs and gentle words -
I thought of you.
All the times
you did the same for me...
All the times
I never got to say
"thank you," Mom
*so much*
for helping me be
who I am today.
And so I write
thinking of you
picturing so clearly in my mind
beautiful thoughts
precious memories
of
you-
and hope somehow you know
how very much
you'll always mean to me;
how very much
I'm
missing you.

Five days before I was born,
my dear grandfather was gone.
Not knowing the cause
why he went .
There was a pause
through which i was sent
oh father! oh father !
cried my mother .
Was it to take him
Oh god!
you sent me without a word
i thought
By came an old woman
whose hands were weak and swollen.
She said with a smile-
When one light goes mild ,
another light will shine.
then i knew -
Even though i never saw him,
he lives deep in my heart
where his soul never dies.

When I'd be on my death bed,end of this race,
I'll take the pill to restore life on my face
To make me stronger so I can try
Bonding with my family one last time before I die.
So that i can recall all memorable incidents one by one
Which will be told for many generations to come.
So that I could tell my grandchildren that I'll be in heaven,
Watching over them always,24x7.
So that I could hold my kids' hands with a grip which is still,
And encourage them to forever keep a strong will.
So that I can kiss and ensure my other half will be fine,
To say he'll find me with him at any point of time.
Only then the pill release me so that unspoken words don't give pain
From this life that is once and never will be again..
For the contest 'Pill Of Life'
1/24/2013

im sick of it
sitting and waiting while people are hating
im invinsable
i wanna change things
be a woman that insnt a cleche
im original
i wanna be writen
in books in history
saying she did some thing
im dissapointed in humanity
just walking around in complete insanity
so blissfully unaware
of anothers humanity
how SAD
you walk into me
us humans
are surrounded in stupidity
WAKE UP
STAND UP
BE AWARE
just CARE!!
if not Im flying to SATURN !! TAKE CARE !!

The eye maybe precious
but the heart says many words.
It can be broken,
it can be filled with love,
it can be dead.
It's the starter of the emotions.
*comment if you have a thought or if you just like (or fav poem)* :)
-Angel4eva23

No One Told Me
A cement block is tied to my heart
Need a running start
At night my voice carries like a lark
Death’s arrow has hit its mark
My life is so dark
The side of the ocean is full of sharks
Some days I feel like such a tart
I used to be such a sweetheart
No one told me life would be so hard.

I miss you so much,
I wish I could go back in time,
Just to see u smile again,
Just for one last hug,
One last kiss.
Just to see you one last time.
I was too young when u died,
So I didn’t get to know you very well.
I wish I could have.
The only memories I have of you are when you were in pain.
In the hospital,
Ashamed of letting me see you like that.
But I was never ashamed.
I loved you,
And I still do!
You were such a happy man,
So everyone tells me,
But I just can’t remember!
I can’t remember your smile,
I can’t remember your laugh,
I can’t remember your happiness.
I miss you so much,
I just wish I could remember.
Maybe if I could,
The pain would go away.
The tears would soak into my skin and dry up.
Maybe the hole in my heart would even fill in.
If I could only remember.
I only have one regret in my life,
Not spending enough time with you,
Not giving you enough hugs,
Not getting to know you.
You are my only regret!
I miss you Guido,
Wish you were here!

The phone had us on our feet
In the middle of the night.
It was Dennis, “Dad just passed…”
We each made calls and gathered
So we could go tell Mom together.
Were his organs riddled with cancer?
Was it diabetes, or was it his heart?
They all had played a part.
We carried Mom to see her Beau
Held her by the hand with tissues
For us all and started final plans.
Made calls. Signed papers.
….And looked for Morris.
Maybe he needed privacy.
Everyone has a different way
Of handling their grief.
We found him at the empty bed
Dad’s pillow at his face.
His scent lingered in the linens
Giving one chance to remember
Something we had long forgotten—
Something natural and tender
Links a parent and a child

I let you die for my name
As you reached for my hands
Out of waters of drowning
What a hypocrite this writer is
The Hatred of Solitude
Letting an orphan dream
Then destroy him with knowledge
Of what you have done
He opened up to you
In new ways
But in nostalgic guises
The springwinds whisper blithe yore
But the winterwinds, much stronger
Caress you with the dreams of your funeral sky
“It was you… it was your fault…
Letting the one who was so open to you
Be the laugh… the piece in the game…”

“Don’t touch me.” Mother whispers in my ear.
“Be quiet! Hush! She adds.
“You have performed irresponsibly again.”
“You are grounded until your high school commencement.”
Mothers’ words sting my heart.
Her presence surrounds me.
Her chilly breath has never been warm.
Her eyes stab my cheeks.
Where are soft kisses?
She squeezes and drains every once of blood from me.
She haunts me with cold cynical memories.
My mother, still so miserable.
Even in death her misery lives within me.
Please, let go mother.
Love me.
Wait for me.
I promise, I will love you back.

He brings a companion
imagined.
Shouts this clear:
"The day is yours."
The Harbinger waves
Smiles
What do the faux prophets say?
Whispering.
We were talking.
Days were aging
and settling;
birds resting.
We were at rest.

MUM ...
WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM
FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE
GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND
REGRET FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO SO ****ING MUCH ,
THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD
YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE
WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO
LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE
YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER ,
IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR
PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME ,
FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR
BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED
YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.
THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,
NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.
IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,
I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,
ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,
ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.
GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,
HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,
THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,
TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.
ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,
ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,
HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,
AND LEAD THE WAY,
FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....
I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND,
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me

Achilles' heel
You’re another day older
The world’s much colder
She…
It’s not your fault
They were taken
Don’t blame yourself
for God’s mistake
Is…
Her beauty reflects your own
Her life reflects your future
Chasing rabbits will get you there faster
Loss of faith will bring you there faster
Watching…
The ball drops
It’s clever to see
What happens to us
And here we are
Waiting…
Yes,
Take the evil out of this
You’re stronger
She’s stronger and always,
Loving…

Pleading with a Whisper
(About the Holocaust)
By: Emily Kroeger
He begs of me to leave him.
Barley a whisper.
What can I do?
He lies here, begging me to let him die.
Barley a whisper.
What can I do?
Leave him to die?
Barley a whisper.
Leave him to be sent to a grave not worthy of him?
Barley a whisper.
No! Never!
He’s my father!
Barley a whisper.
Father!
Father!
Oh my dear father,
Barley a whisper.
I say through blurred eyes and unsteady voice,
Come, father, come,
Do not give into death.
Those lying around you have already seen heavens depths.
Barley a whisper.
Come father,
I will not let you fade away like a whisper in the wind.

In the beginning I started off as just another nobody from another nowhere trying make it to somewhere as a somebody as everyone else. In the beginning I was BORN TO LIVE TO DIE, but in the process I was BRED TO LEARN TO SURVIVE. I became a CONVICT OF CHRIST through PAINFUL PLEASURES of my many struggles and strife's. I was a SINFUL SAINT but more of a sinner, mainly a loser and never a winner. I was once considered one of the best, now days I'm just trying to be lower than the rest, unseen in plain sight , NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS. I became lost in time through my many self-taught TRUE LIES of yet another LOST FIND growing up where few DREAMS LIVE , but many more DREAMS DIE. I soon got LOCKED UP but it was very educational because I LIVED IT and LEARNED FROM IT. I was given a choice to LIVE FREE OR DIE INCARCERATED, so I made that choice to be more loved than hated, so I became UNDER LOVE and OVER HATE, I learned to stop wanting and actually appreciate. Its been hard to change so I became a POET OF PAIN. That's when I learned the truth about those who think their dying for something but they might as well be living for nothing, because I learned that real truth comes from LIVING FOR SOMETHING because I ain't DYING FOR NOTHING. So now I am forever a W.O.L.F. once a warrior of lost freedom now trying to stay a warrior of LASTIN FREEDOM you know what I mean.

Ultimate Betrayal
Two years ago my son
family came for a weekend
Elated, I prepared the house
for their comfort to tend
Within one hour of his arrival
I heard a scream of terror
He seized and stopped breathing
with a heart error
Pounding on his chest, I gave CPR,
screaming Oh God take me
His babies watched in fright,
my heart sank at what they could see
I lost him that day he
was forty years old.
Flashbacks played as
my blood ran cold
His wife took the children
and shut our family out
A selfish betrayal of
jealousy came about
We have not seen the
children for two years now
Damaging our hearts and
bruising our brow
I suffer from two terminals,
knowing what will be
Their sweet little faces
again, I will never see
Betrayed by one who
I loved very much
I lost them all that day,
with that last final touch.
Carole Cookie Arnold
02/16/2010

I didn’t know you
I never really talked to you
But you created my sister
You brought her to my family
You were trying to be better
You were trying to be better
That’s what hurts me the most
That I didn’t know you
That I never really talked to you
But you were trying
And you are missed
I thank you for being you
For doing everything you did
Even the mistakes
Because you passed something on
You made an impact
My cousin you were
My family you will always be
I didn’t know you
We fought the last time I ever talked to you
Then you were gone
So young
So sudden
But I think of you and smile
Because you were a good person
You were someone to be missed
I’m just sorry
That I don’t really have memories to look back at
But I will always look back at you and smile
Because I did know you
We were family
My cousin
And the only memories I need is your face
Your smile
And I will always remember that
And you are missed
You were loved
YOU ARE LOVED
* RIP to my cousin that passed away 2 years ago. We miss you*

A beautiful man,
Strong at will,
Comforting those,
With more to spare,
A growth small,
Time will tell,
Walls of each cell,
Holding pain to fall,
History has lead,
The fact of death,
Given dates,
Marking with an X,
The heart keeps moving,
Promising a thin line,
Forming an answer,
Living or dying,
As he looks over,
The colors fade,
Moving slowly,
Squinting to see the shade,
His child kneels,
To pray for Dad,
The agony kills,
Expecting the bad,
Cold room,
Cold memories,
Many people in mind,
Pages listing,
Of information read,
Knowing what they could find,
Finding hope,
On each date to see,
The circle to know,
What’s in store to dream?
We’re not promised today,
But live like we are,
Know that some,
Just want to get far,
Cancer is sick,
The card not to pick,
Accepting new discoveries,
Remaining real is wealth,
Only promised this moment,
The rest is our health.

Well I was born a bouncin' baby boy,
On June 23rd in Danville Illinois. ( Ill-i-noy - the s is silent)
My mom will never forget that special date,
Back in the year of '68.
Another birth in September of '70,
Ending in heart-wrenching tragedy.
My sister would've been my friend and pal,
But she didn't make it through the birth canal.
I would've been her big brother just two years older,
Mom was heart broken - didn't get to hold her.
Trying to write this is making me cry,
I can't stop thinking "Why God? Why?
Why did you take this bundle of love?
Did you need another angel above?
Well something good happened in August '72,
My mom married the only dad I ever knew.
I may not be of his own flesh and blood,
But he still called me "Son" and "Bud".
My dad adopted me and gave me the family name.
He treated us all one and the same.
- Love you mom ! -
- In loving memory of my sister (08/25/1970) also
- In loving memory of my dad (07/08/1947 - 01/16/2005)
I started this poem with the intentions of making it part of a
My Life Story collection of poetry. I'm not sure if I will continue
on with this intention or not. Should I decide to continue on with
My Life Story, the next stage will be concerning my childhood - and
the problems I went through as a young child.

Blowing out the light of another had the same effect on mine
For nothing could deter my mind away from that gruesome thought
Coming home brought me closer to what I wished to leave behind
Funny how something can worth less than what it actually cost
I was sickened by the act I had committed
Though the deed was done with the purest intent
My return home added to my disgust though I refused to admit it
To the smiling faces who thought me to be Godsent
My loved ones was overjoyed that all was well with me
A thankful gleam in their eyes as they led me to the house
But all I could seem to think about was that other family
Lighting hundreds of candles for the one I had helped burn out
It was at that celebration held in honor of me that night
That I finally found what I sought upon going to war
To see people praising me for what they concluded was right
Is the very reason we will never achieve what we so dilligently fight for
We are convinced threats to our safety lies in foreign countries
Which is by far a misguided assumption in itself
For in order to rid the world of terrorism in its entirety
Is to collectively discard the half of one's own self
It was a harsh realization as a matter of fact
And one that I hoped had not come so late
But there was no way I could ever give back
The very thing my duty left me feeling inclined to take
My epiphony weighed every bit of heavy on the mind
So I bowed my head to the floor stained with dirt
And I silently prayed that the healing powers of time
Would someday mend the hearts of those I knew I had hurt
I asked forgiveness for the lot of the world
For my unjust actions and my many sins
But specifically from that little boy or little girl
Who wishes daily for their parent to come home again
A tear slid down my wind whipped cheek
At knowing that the satisfaction I so long ago sought
Would not grant my consciene the peace it so desperately need
A lesson that took ages to prepare but in a heartbeat was taught
My soul had grown weary of the evening and it showed on my face
So I bid farewell to the guest as I took my leave
And I went where war was more suitable to take place
To my empty house where I was left only with my memories

stammered, “Because, if Brian ran away, I saw him earlier today, downtown! And
he bought me an ice cream cone! And we talked and were even laughing at a joke
I’d just told! He was all dressed up and I asked him where he was going all
dressed up on a Saturday. He just laughed and said that, he was on an errand and
he was going back home. He said that he would see me later. Then I said that I
would come by to tell him about the trip. We said good bye and he walked away!
Papa’s face turned to stone as he starred in silence, and poor Thomas just stood in
that spot like a statute. My oldest sister or someone asked him what kind of
clothing Brian was wearing. He answered that Brian was wearing a grey suit, white
shirt and a burgundy bow tie! He described the outfit down to the shoes Brian
wore. With that said, Papa, wide-eyed called was rising out of his chair in slow
motion as he called out to Mama to come and hear this. Slowly, his tall frame stood
in silence. Those were the exact clothes that Brian was buried in. There is no way
Thomas could have known what kind of clothing Brian had been buried in because;
his parents weren’t at home when he returned from camp. He had returned much
earlier than was expected. He didn’t unpack his bags, being in a hurry to get to the
store downtown as they closed early on Saturdays. After, he would go and visit
Brian to share about the trip. Brian’s burial clothes were all new and made by the
local tailor! Thomas ran out of the house and my Father ran after him. The grieving
had begun all over again. We never did see our dog, Blackie again. The following
year we moved away. I am grateful for memories because even though my brother
Brian died long ago, I still remember his handsome face, even his voice, the way he
walked, his beautiful smile, and the many times he would carry me up on his
shoulders to safety in escaping from an abusive uncle.
Next time I see my brother Brian, we will be together again, this time forever.

Singing
With tears
In your eyes
As you stared at me
With the most caring gaze.
Your childhood
Sung in sweet lyrics,
They lingered in my ears
As my throat began to tighten
With sadness.
What's that, dear?
Your parents beat you?
Never a word spoken
To anyone?
It made you a better man?
No dear,
It caused horrid memories.
Your father
Brought you to a bar
And let his friends beat you
With bottles?
My dear
Sweet Nate,
Keep singing.
Your mother
Was addicted to drugs
And violence?
What ever happened
To her?
She's buried six feet under?
What about your father?
Prison
With the other abusive men?
Scars
Dug deep
In your skin
Jump to my sight
As I quietly whimper
With your soft voice.

Can you feel?
Can you feel the tremor?
That rocks your world
That shakes the cage
Like a beast trapped outside
A beast raging against the bars
It lifts, it throws, it rages
Can you feel it?
And in the aftermath,
You can hear the cooing, cajoling
Of puppeteers laying strings before your bars
And they croon and cluck like fretting hens
Petting your bars and calling for you
to reach out and take these strings
Tie them where they cannot reach
Deep within, where no one else goes
And let these good people in,
They preen and you shake your head
Seeing the gleam in their eyes
Oh so like the ape’s
Cooing, cajoling... cawing
And oh, how you can feel it...
But I’m here so hold on
I’ll sit by your bars,
I’ll sit by the door
right beneath that lock that turns from within
And I won’t rage, or set the siren’s call upon you
I’ll sit by your bars, and keep you company
My friend;
But Cold bars let through a breeze friend...
Your sharp breath is not secreted away
And with every breath you take
Your lungs are profaned
And you cannot hide
Behind bars
You cannot hide
From My voice, or my presence, or my eyes
My eyes that see too clear
And you cannot hide from what I see
What you can feel
Pressing in, from us all
So just let us in
My friend,
Let us in, for we will not be kept out
Life does not surrender, life does not hold back
Life seeps through
Every crack,
And be sure, there are cracks everywhere
Where there are breaths to be shared, there are bars to let them through,
And you feel it don’t you?
That which you see deep in my eyes
You feel it
That feeling so clearly reflected
When I look into your soul
That fear alive in my eyes
That rages within you,
But don’t fear a battle you have lost
Do not fear the day you must face the world
The world, friend, has never
Turned its face from you
And the rest of us:
Well we are not so brave
We are not iron bars moulded to flesh
That fear you see is real
And it is ours all
But we cannot hide
From what burns within
And I will not die
Hiding from life
And I will not cower when I tremble inside
I will not rest in a cage when I am tired
And I, friend, I am so tired
Of living between bars.

This room is empty now
I'm on the floor, and tarps are all spread out
I have my work in store,
but there is more....
The opened can of paint,
Is colored with a bright pastel
If these four walls could talk
There is a story here,
I'll walk through, now....
He owned a pride, it was all life left to him
A world he left behind
where mother long ago had died
had never been the same since then
He forged alone for many years
but years had gathered dust
His days were many, the house was lonely
And one by one, old friends had thinned
His mind began to fail,
His body weary, frail
We brought him here at last,
He came here at request,
to rest his evening tide
His pride held some protest....but, for the best
He left his life behind
And found new trust in mine
We offered comfort, love
A home. and family, kind
We made a place, this room
For him to blend with us
With family close enough
His heart could mend at last
He had this room I'm in
For many years... a friend
A second home to him
But he would long for then...
It finally came to end
He went to be with her
We feel they both are near
The vision now is clear
My father's room is blue
I'll paint it fresh and new
It won't erase the tears
It won't erase the years
But he's where he belongs
A long, long, way, I fear....... but near...

Sarah lived in a simple town.
In a simple family,
in a simple gown.
She spent her life using simple speech.
And simple goals,
and simple dreams.
She married a simple man named Johnny.
Had two kids,
one Sue, one Bonnie.
They all enjoyed their simple lives.
Till a missile flew,
Their home, it dived--
A simple funeral for this simple family.
A casket to share,
In its serenity.

I am eighteen months,
to the day,
younger than he.
We have two sisters,
both younger than we.
To lose our only brother
leaves three sisters
cast adrift in a head sea,
swamped in waves
breaking tight
against the course
of our ship, poised -
to grow old together,
reminiscing,
sharing,
laughing about the past.
But he longs to be free.
We are left with no choice,
but to step aside,
and allow him leave.

As I sit here and wonder what went wrong,
I realized, nothing went wrong.
People say it was your time to leave this world,
to go and see your savior, your God.
But really, everyone knows it was your Johnny boy, the Fisherman.
He couldn't spend another second without you.
His beautiful lover, the wonderful mother, the amazing grandmother.
As I sit here and wonder about what you're doing,
I imagine you two dancing and singing with your buddies from Bailo's.
I imagine you watching over your family and leading them in the right direction.
I could almost see you sitting on the bleachers for my high school graduation,
and I started to tear up knowing you were there watching.
As I sit here and wonder about you,
I know you miss us just as much as we miss you.
Ryan and Jackie will never know how kind and gentle you were, like a summer breeze.
Bella will never know how generous and humorous you were, making everyone laugh.
But I will know, and I will tell them, even if it is with tears in my eyes.
As I sit here and wonder about my future,
I think of you.
You always knew I was going to be a successful person.
And I always believed you.
Mema,
my number one role model. My favorite grandmother.
My best friend.
RIP Roberta J. Kobstad
11/8/1941~~1/24/2012
You will be forever missed.

Everyday she watches
sitting in that chair
her heart pounding
constantly she stares
everyday she listens
to the reasuring sound
a steady beep a rythm
meaning a heart beat can be found
every night she worries
when she's told that she must go
yet she knows she must be strong
her fears she must not show
everynight she comforts
her little brothers cries
while she hopes he doesn't see
the worry in her eyes
every morning she wakes up
and takes her brother to his school
then heads back up to the hospital
even though there's nothing she can do
she stays a bit then leaves
heading off to her job
but she's only seventeen
at schools where she belongs
bills to pay mouths to feed
stressing her young mind
she too young to know what to do
she's stumbling around blind
every day she worries
while she struggles to get by
everyday she watches
as her mother slowly dies

You belong to me mate ( Intro )
And that be that!
Get on board
And grab your hat!
The ship was aghast at its new passenger ( Verse )
Like disdain for the lives that they now left behind,
Newcomers were scarce
And they never would last
But I held up my chin nice and high.
The bloke who took me screamed ( Pre-chorus )
“Mop up the deck we’ve got things to do!”
But I said sir,
I’m just a boy and don’t know what’s to do.
And he said ( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shores
Taking what’s mine
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”
Taking the seas for more than eight moons
We found islands and loot
That was bigger than most.
The taste of sea air
With its wind in my hair
Took me away to this new life I lead.
After mopping the deck
He grabbed my hand and screamed
“Steer this ship boy!”
But I said sir,
I’m just a lad and don’t know where to go.
So the crew yelled ( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shore
Taking what’s mine
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”
Surprising to me
Was my unshaven face
The captain looked on
And smiled with grace,
We stopped at a place
Where the women were loose and didn’t mind
If we took a peak.
He said “Now you’re a man so let’s get on that boat,
We got places to be and some people to rope,
So grab that sword and drop that mop
Cause you’re no longer a boy in my eyes.”
I practiced the duel with the men in the crew
The captain took eye to my devilish pride,
And he took me aside and said
“Even in death I’m gonna miss you boy
But don’t let it strike you
Or kill your spirits
Cause even time can beat out the Grim.”
Then in the darkness came fire and screams,
Our vessel had stopped after fourteen years,
The crew fought hard and beat most of the men
But now, my Captain was dead.
We took the new ship watching ours sink deep
Saying goodbye to our drowning escape,
The crew turned towards me and asked
“What do we do?” and I smiled,
And they did to.
And we yelled ( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shores
Takin what’s mine
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”

He was angry when they came
And said he wouldn’t go.
“You can’t make me leave this house!”
“I’ll fight you all, you know!”
He spread his arms like giant wings
As if they were set to soar,
And grabbed the facing either side,
To hold himself in the door.
Mom clinched tired eyes and dabbed her tears.
She tried to say a prayer.
She knew that once her mate was gone,
Only she’d be there.
When we broke his iron-like grip
He took a final look
At what a man could call his own.
And remembered the work it took.
Friends stopped by to visit him.
Buster, his Best Man was one.
He smiled as they recollected
The days when they were young.
Robert and I, at Dad’s request,
Sung the chorus of “For the Good Times”.
Ray Price was his favorite—
And he smiled, a final time.

Eyes that cry in anguish,
Uncertain and alone.
Seeking some solution
And searching for a home.
When we used to play as kids,
In contentment’s warm embrace,
Was the smile I saw each day
But a mask upon your face?
Haunting memories past,
Trapped in voracious pain.
A chance to fill an empty heart,
You push a needle in your vein.
You become the living dead,
But pain rises from its grave.
The tortured mind seeks freedom,
While the needle makes a slave.
Each night you come and go,
Looking worse for the wear.
Life hangs by finest thread,
To you it’s of no care.
Everyone gives up on you,
They say nothing can be done.
Your tears have gone from hate to pain,
To the tears of opium.
Why escape the chains that hold so tight?
Arms dependence is soothing bliss.
Once you have had just one taste,
You will crave the dragon’s kiss.
A lost orphan in a cruel world
Cast aside by your mother.
The needle becomes one with your flesh,
So death is now your lover.
As you dance with the shadow of death,
I wish I could stop the tragic harm;
To the little girl who played with me,
As she injects death into her arm.
I’m afraid one day you won’t return
From the misty eyed walk in the night.
With your needle as your boarding pass,
You go forth to take the Devil’s flight.
No more pain left to feel,
No more sights left to see;
Nothing but vague memories
Of my friend who played with me.

Arguing with one another
Texting back and forth
Owen drives in the blizzard
Kurt is at home
Kurt sends Owen another message
"why did you tell them about me doing drugs?"
"that wasnt your place, i dont care if there your parents too"
"shouldnt i be the one to tell them?"
Owen tries to reply to the message Kurt has sent him
He loses control of the wheel
driving into a field
Kurt recieves a message from Owen
"Im sorry I..."
The message was never finished
The car slamming into a tree
The tree branch breaks through the window
Thrashing into Owens stomach
As Owens head slams back and forth
The car is left smoking
Kurt knows something is wrong
but leaves things be
50 Minutes Later...."
Kurt and Owen's parent recieve a call from the police
"Is this the parent of Owen Everdeen?" the police ask
the mother answers "yes is something wrong? is it Owen, what did he do now?"
"Mam', Your son was in a accident, they are life flighting him to the hospital"
She drops the phone, and grabs her purse and yells at Kurt to come on.
She drives fast to get to the hospital to see her son
Owen was life flighted to the hospital
The police had to use the jaws of life to get him out of his car
They finally make it to the hospital
The Dr. asking "Are you the mother of Owen?"
She cries "yes, where is my son?"
Kurt stands upset at himself for fighting with Owen minutes before
Remembering Owens last text to him. "im sorry I.."
The Dr. explains to the mother
"Owen didnt make it"
She sits in sadness
Numbness
She cannot breathe
Kurt runs after the Dr.
"this cant be, he has to be ok" as he starts to cry.
Just the night before him and his brother
Were playing guitar hero together
Remembering the last moment
The arguing
The reqruet Kurt is now feeling
"Owen Ryan Everdeen: Jan. 1st, 1990- December 8th, 2011"
To a good brother and a great friend, im sorry about all those times i have let you down
Im sorry for yelling at you that night, and causing your crash, the guilt i feel wont leave
I am sorry that you went through that, and left this world that way, forgive me for what i
have caused. I love you.

Forever my BFF
Your heart
Your smiles
You cared, when others wouldn't
You are one of a kind,
No one here will ever come close, to the beauty from your heart
Linda my bff, I miss you, and I wish you were here
You made this place a better place
You made this place shine
One day my friend, I will see you and again,
In a place, where you are the Angel
Welcoming me' for a second time,
Holding the door to another home, as you did here on the soup.
I love you my BFF Linda-Marie.
By; SKAT

Hordes of screams sounded out all around and masses of slashed bloody villagers staggered into our village. Grownups started running to finding stuff to clean them They kept saying “Janjaweed, Janjaweed, Janjaweed” and talking about running away so they could live.
They said that hundreds of men had been hacked to death and they were the lucky ones. There was rape…and death…and starvation…and disappearing thousands, not just in their village, but in other villages in Dafur, too.
Since Uncle Sofarlo and grandma hadn’t arrived, yet, Mom became histeric. Then, someone said a man with an old woman was still in the desert and they weren’t hurt. Mama raising her eyes upward and thanked God.
I didn’t understand exactly what was happening, but a few years later, I learned first hand. One dreadful day, the Arab militia rode into my village. The first thing they did was ride over to the well and start cutting off people’s arms and pushing them to the ground. They laughed as they drew water for themselves and their camels. Then, they cut off my father’s head and started grabbing my playmates and their mothers.
Terrified, I slunk back into our hut. My parents had dug a hole in the floor beneath each bed shortly after my grandmother and the rest of the survivors had come to live with us. They told me that if those bad men came to our village that I must hide in the hole and not make one sound. So, that is what I did.
Sometimes, I would lift the cover and peek out. I saw one of those men slash Uncle Sorarlo’s head with a hatched and throw it in the well. One of them grabbed my mother by the hair and slung her into a nearby hut. Then he dismounted and went in. Her horrible screams still flash through my memory. I saw and heard appalling things happening to other women, young girls, and even the little boys.
I could hear loud voices and laughter as the Janjaweed savages watched the survivors scamper like rabbits into the desert. Next, they set the huts on fire and rode after them. Then, there was silence.
I stayed shivering in that dark hole what seemed like forever. Then, my older brother came over to help me out. He had hidden beneath his bed, too. We never saw our grandmother or cousins again, but we were alive!
Survival was the next challenge. My big brother was smart and had faith in God. It is because of his strength and bravery that we are both alive today to tell the story.
Please help the people of Dafur.
Copyright 10-13-2014
I chose Dafarian Genocide.
Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: GENOCIDE: SPEAK FOR THE LOST... the FORM IS POETIC PROSE Sponsor Cyndi MacMillan
PART 1 SETS THE STAGE. PLEASE READ

A young man died and his family cried, they could not understand,
Why he was taken away from them on that day when life seemed ever so grand.
It just goes to show that you’ll never know, what will happen, when, where or how,
But what if you did, would you change things you said, would you put on a different show.
Or would you still be for all eyes to see the person that you always were.
A shoulder to cry on, someone to rely on, someone who was always there.
Someone once said you’re alive til your dead, never a truer word spoken,
But when you die young, songs are unsung and a million hearts become broken
I heard today of someone snatched away, someone who was one of my own
But I was unaware no one seemed to care or think to pick up the phone.
A families bond is supposed to be strong, so strong that it should never break
In times of gladness and even of sadness it’s our duty an effort to make.
An effort I say, it should not be that way it’s much deeper it’s something in built,
To pick up the phone or visit my home then there’s no need for feelings of guilt.
When families lose touch it shouldn’t take much to reunite with one another,
Cousin or nephew, niece, aunty or uncle and sometimes even sister and brother.
You just do not know when it’s your time to go so remember these words don’t forget
Because if you do you may one day too be filled with the deepest regret.

A lovely lady;
Growing inside, a new life.
A man in a tux.
Another bell rings now.
Final grades, balanced college offers,
Off to another adventure.
Damp ground, headstones.
Growing inside, a new life,
Done with their adventures.
-Caroline Youngless

How absurd is the word .... death....,
...Examine with caution, it takes all your breath
The depth of five letters, takes more than a glance
How one twist of fate could take you away
so swiftly, so certain, one rise of the curtain,
when never a reason to dwell there before...
to spell such a word....profanely absurb
How could the unthinkable, possibly happen?
You were here one day, then gone the next
Not even a minute to pause or reflect
To say our goodbyes...those chances denied
A single " I love you"...
one last time
Nothing can soften unbearable words
When grief is not real...just cruel and absurb
you can't drink it in...
Each stage is journey, a walk in the rain
Turning a corner.......and starting again
But finally convinced, there is no denying
The days are confirming...although we would fight it
And life does go on, there are things we must do
And family to care for,.......a routine now to follow
Life swallowed me whole.......
And sooner or later those everyday things
Seem to deaden the pain....numbing the senses...with novacaine dreams
and the bitterness grays, and the years dwindle down
Time chips away and the memories fade
Time,... in small portions, chips away at the grief
But years, without mercy, is also a theif
My vision of you is harder to see,
And try as I might,...it burns all the leaves
Your beautiful face, the fire of you,
Are flashes of amber.......there is only a hue
I can't view the picture as clearly I did
I can't turn it on like a light in my head
It burns, now so dimly...just a flicker, instead
Where once was the warmth of your arms, and your smile
Are whispers that come in the dark for awhile
I try to reach out, and touch them somehow
But they've burned into embers, I hardly recall
Like a photograph lost where it doesn't belong
Fading each day, in the sun for too long
Fading and losing the bright flame I knew
I ponder the embers that have died in the flame
And I wonder......,will I know you if we meet once again?
____________________________________________

*A assignment was due in class. *
Every time a gun shoots
A tree looses its roots
Every time there is bloodshed
Along with it millions of tears are shed
Every time a heart is stabbed
Someone else’s life gets barren
As violence grows
Many more mothers moan
The sounds of destruction
Overpowers the voice of those
Who are innocent
Who suffer with no reason
Who beg for life
Who have heart full of innocence
Why do so much violence?
That the child’s cry cannot be heard
When his father is killed
Why do so much violence?
That a mother moans
Over her child’s dead remains
Why do so much violence
For winning any stupid battle
Which is taking lives
Of people who have wives
And mothers and children
When you can keep calm
Talk things out
Do whatever you can
To keep violence out
Because there is no sin as big as
VIOLENCE

The little Church was crammed full
When my brother left this plane
A kilted piper piped him in
Then piped him out again
Abide with me it skirled out
Bringing lumps to lots of throats
And many cheeks were watered
From eyes that looked like moats
Lips with teeth were bitten
To keep the sobbing locked inside
But even with this action
Our pain we could not hide
The faces they were saddened
From the loss of one so dear
Eyes from empty hollows stared
Nothing now was very clear
Today my brother left us
For a better place to dwell
And it won’t be a long time
Till we all join him as well
To once more be a family
Like we were once before
Laughing joking telling stories
No need to worry anymore

Above the corrugated iron roofs of our house
With no ceiling underneath I hear as
The rain softly murmurs with its many voices
As if they come from a distant crowd
These voices remind me of the dead
And the future they have left behind
As the murmur seems to grow into silence
I walk towards the doorway and stand there for a while
And watch as the rain dances on the ground
And wonder if the dead have ears to hear its many voices
And wonder if it reminds them too
Of the future they have left behind
And if they ever dream of coming back to life
To show us how the future should be lived
But the rainbow at the end of the rain
Tells me that the future is not for the dead
But for us the living to inherit
And when our time in this world has passed
We shall leave it behind too
For the living of that time to inherit

It's time.
The two times before
Were tests
To see if she could
Identify the moment
When she should leave.
It's time.
The words
Buzzed in her head
Over and over
As she tucked the last items
In the bag she had prepard.
A bag similar to the one
An expectant mother would have ready,
But she would never
Need that particular bag,
He made sure of that.
It's time.
It was 10am,
He had been gone
The better part of three hours.
The longest three hours of her life.
She waited patiently,
Just in case he came home
For some forgotten tool or document.
It's time.
She slipped out the back door
And scaled two neighbours' fences
Before entering the street.
With her hat pulled down low
She made her way to the bus station.
It was time to leave town.
It's time.
She bought a ticket to California,
Los Angeles to be specific.
She would become a lost angel
In the city of angels.
It's time.
As she waited for the bus,
She heard a car shrieking
To a stop outside.
She shrank into her seat,
But it was for nought,
As cruel hands
Pulled her from her seat.
It's time.
First came a slap,
Then another,
And by the time the ticket agent
Came out to pull him away from her
He was punching her.
It's time.
He shrugged off the agent
And ran to her,
But by that time
She had pulled out
Her grandpappy's Smith & Wesson,
And with shaking hands
She lodged a bullet
In his heart.
It's time.
The gun was a present
From her momma,
And from the day she got it
She practiced on old toys
Behind the abandoned toy factory.
She practice until it was time.
Today, the time came
And it tuly was time.
It's time
For her abusive husband to die.

A saint hardly known
Rests in the valley of my peeks
Quietly lurks and sees
The followers who are torn
No matter its origins
A name to the hard hair, wet
To a man with integrity, silent
His glory whispered among his kins
I feel a painful numbness
For this name, a disconnect
But still my curiosity in effect
Sarkis is all my inheritance
Sarkis, the mirror, a door of treasures
Touched but never opened
To be watched, to be yearned
I am one of his admirers
Sarkis, the first lesson of sadness
Of greatness, of passing from this earth
A grandfather's soul to my birth
Was the last gift to a daughter of his

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)
My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now.
Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier.
Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet.
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid.
He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil,
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.
When he speaks a calm
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and
bravery and how
he continually fights against
the "Apocalypse Now".

The spirits stand before me to guide me on my way
To a place so peaceful that I would like to stay
I'll be on the wings of eagles soaring through the skies
While all my friends and family say their last goodbyes
I am the bear gone fishing for everlasting life
Until I am reunited with my children and my wife
I hear lots of animals running through this eternal land
As they have come to greet me and take me by the hand
The wolves lay here beside me somewhere beyond the moon
As I wait for my family to come and visit someday soon
And I shall go on hunting for the place to lay to rest
Beside my loving mother in holy blessedness
I see the gates of our great spirit as I start drawing near
And send lots of hugs and kisses to those I hold so dear
I'll be on my journey home somewhere past our great sun
So I'm sending loving spirits to all my beloved ones
by Deborah Lynn Gale
with deepest sympathy to Native, David Welch

Dear Soap Bubble,
bright focus
in an air-light reflection
of the ephemeral beauty
of this world
diaphanous soul
in despair
sincere
fearful
innocent
hesitating
uncertain
distrustful
pure
Emotional universum
rumbling inside the anima
of a tiny simple
passionate creature
I shall enjoy thy sight
Shall I live in fear
for you not to burst
Shall I be the wind
to blow tenderly
directing thy path
Thy shelter shall I be
I surrender myself to thee

So many songs describe how i feel
But you wouldnt have the time to listen to them
To actually figure out what they meant
Or how much they related to me
If i died today i can say the only
Thing you would miss
Is me trying to make you smile
Things have been depressing me for years
All the anger i hold is real
Falling further into soemthing
You wouldnt want me to be
I know if i told you
You would be confused
You wouldnt know what you did
To make me do what im about to do
I let myself cry to long
That i buried myself alive on the inside
I wish i could shut you out
And let you go away for a long time
I guess its better that i trapped myself in my own way
At one point the chain broke away
And i had my own time
I took an early flight and i made it home
I realized how unfair you were being
Everyone always got more than i did
Got your attention
More than i did
If i played my bass
Would you hear the anger behind it?
If i let you read my poems
Would you understand why im writing it?
If i told you i thought about doing something bad
Would you try to make everything i hate about you better?
I dont think you understand
Maybe i should explain more
Or would i bore you?
Probally...
So you know
I wanted a father
But instead i had a dad
To me
It hurt
It still does
And i watched myself die
From hurting so much
Cutting my heart out
On the inside
Im different
In so many ways
My friends give me more complaments
Then my mother has my whole life
"thats good" isnt what i want from you
I would rather have you really
Grasping the meaning behind why
I am writing poems
The meaning behind why i draw
Or play the bass
Even if i died i wouldnt think
You would get it
If i did what im going to do
I would have you right where i want you
If you want me back
Your going to have to ask
Nicer than that
Things in my life are different than yours
I see things differently
I love music
And i want you to see that
I talk to you through my music
I talk to you through my poems
I talk to you through my bass guitar
You cant trust me?
I lied to you?
Dont you remember when
You told me you would give me up
for adoption when i was born?
That hurt more than anything
Yes you kept me
BUt you thought about giving me up
Just like you gave up on me ten years later
This will be the last of me
And i hope you understand now
That you are my problem
That you are the one
I couldnt trust
That you were the one who lied
What else could i hide
When i have been an open
Book his whole time
and you couldnt see it?

They slowed the boat so they could hear,
if any other craft came near,
when suddenly out of the gloom,
appeared the harbinger of their doom.
A ship so huge they could not steer,
beyond the bow so high and sheer,
as it bore down on them at a hellish rate,
and sliced their boat, and sealed their fate.
The great ship passed on as no one knew
that they'd just killed the small boat's crew,
and back on shore it was not yet known
that both of the friends would never come home.
By eight that night they began to worry,
and to the launching slip they did hurry.
They called the coastguard, and he,
called on all shipping in the vicinity.
After hours of searching from lifeboat, and sky,
and many other vessels that were passing by.
Nothing was found, out in the mist,
it seemed the men did not exist.
And this of course, was totally true
the men had sunk down into the deep blue,
they were lost at sea without a trace,
departed from the human race.

Every year she returns to the scene
This place in question where life has been mean
On muddy banks down by the waterline
Alone in her tomorrow's, solitary resigned
Having already lost her husband in his freedom fight
No mother should enter this fateful night
Her baby, her son, that a mother sees to grow
Wandered from her safety to that fast water flow
All innocent and fearless little steps slowly walk
In playful surrounds just barely in talk
Noises up ahead attract this mind to peek see
So curious they are when they get a chance to break free
Down an unclimbable bank he faces his lure
Once a slow flowing stream soon to take natures pure
Yesterdays storms allowed the heavens to cry
Whilst his mother kneels down and still asks herself why
In her hand she clasps a bunch of Roses so red
Tears fill her eyes knowing her tomorrow's lie dread
Once again she looks back, facing a mothers fear
A last glimpse of the flow, feeling her lost sons tears
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-5.php

At first I thought it was the gales
That howled into the night,
But then the banshee's keening wails
Broke all the glass in sight
I hopped from bed up to the sill
To see what I could see
I saw a crow upon the hill
A dark monstrosity
My throat closed up; I couldn't breathe
I thought that I would die
But it flew out towards the sea -
Across the moonlit sky
But then the worry came again
Which nobel love would die?
Me, M’Lady,M’Lord, and when?
Which one did Death espy?
I bit my nails; I cracked my wrists
The fear was like a wrench
It smashed into my heart like fists,
And kept me in suspense
It was three days of agony
Till I found out M’Lord had died -
My sailor son in Tripoli,
Was killed in cannon fight
I guess I don't get WHY the crow
Gave his warning to me
Why screech of death at my window,
Instead of Tripoli?
Instead of Tripoli?
(Besides being a woman, the banshee can take the form of animals, such as the crow)
Received 1st place in "Creepy Irish Creatures" contest

High above the ground I am towering
It is life down below that I bring
The wind blows, my leaves taking wing
Beside my large mass rests a mere sapling
The sun is new, through the clouds break
Bright rays of light cause me to wake
The day held before I forsake
The future is something I’m ready to make
The life that I breathe is brought by light
It is time that I ought to fight
To write this poem, it took dear time
But through and through it began to rhyme

I dont know much about her
but I heard she wasnt that talkative
She didnt like being alive
She was numb to all the pain she had to go through
I heard she didnt like anything that was green
She ate roman noodles everynight for supper
She always wore flannels and bellbottoms
Sometimes i seen her wear dresses and fancy tops
But lately shes been wearing band shirts
She wears converse shoes and uses an army bag for school
I know that she dosent like to communicate through talking... only through her peoms
or sometimes even her songs.
I see her drawing and painting all the time
She draws famous people
She would like to be famous and not so unknown
When she tries to speak to anyone they always walk away and leave her alone
When she gets home she goes upstairs to play her bass guitar
She hates chocolate cake but loves chocolate
Her family left her behind because she cant forget her past
Sometimes when shes alone she contemplates the meaning behind her life
Her favorite color is gray because her life is black and white
Everything she says is false according to the world
She is not so innocent
I understand that she dreams about the perfect life
When she opens her eyes they are pitch black
She is someone that is fake
She acts nothing like she should
She is very grungy and unclean
She knows of no safety
and of no time
Her life is smashed into pieces by the giant sun
She will always be a ghost
She knows of no god
She crawls around in the world of death
She remains forgotten

Early this morning as i lay still sleeping,
A vision before me played quite clearly.
I heard these words ring out so clear,
As I saw a child,small and dear
Gently climb upon the statue of a slodier
Who had fallen while away at war.
He wrapped his arms around it's neck.
His tiny tears began to fall down his tiny cheeks.
That was when these words began to fill my heart.
Fallen soldier I climb upon you today,
I do not wish to bring to you disgrace,
You could have been my Father, my Brother, my uncle, my son.
You may have been my Mother,my sister, my aunt,or my daughter.
You may have been my Grandpa,My Grandma, my cousin,my friend.
I climbed upon you just to give to a hug.
I do not mean to bring to you disgrace,
I climbed up here to say I love you anyway,
Although you died before I could love you.
The tears rolled down his face,
You could see the love in his embrace.
When I awoke, my cheeks were wet
From where my tears had fallen while still I slept.
As I write these words that lie deep within my heart,
I could not help but to think and feel just what to me they said.
Just how many out there can feel the hurt within their heart
When they look up and say, "Soldier you died before I loved you
OH! so very far away, But I love you anyway."

I never got to touch your face
I hid a faded smile
my 3 Angels were placed
to comfort me a while
I never got to feel you grow
or become a rising star
I pray that you will never know
of this hidden scar
I never said the word hello
as I welcomed you to life
the only word I was allowed
was the saddest word goodbye
I never got to see you grin
or hear you laugh out loud
I never got to tuck you in
or watch you sleep so sound
I never said the word hello
as I welcomed you to life
the only word I was allowed
was the saddest word goodbye
just as the years go by
rain will come and go
but ill always hold you inside
i just wanted you to know
I never said the word hello
as I welcomed you to life
the only word I was allowed
was the saddest word goodbye

I see the family gathered around and my heart is there with you.
As I see your faces I know that you are sad.
I was blessed as an only child with a family such as you.
It was a joy to be your mother.
There were many things I did to care for you as you were growing up.
All these things I did were done out of love.
I loved your father with a love that was unconditional, and his love for me carried me throughout the tough times in our lives together.
I hope that this love is something that I've left behind for all of you to share.
Someday Dad and I shall be together again.
I can see your pain and I feel your sadness.
Please don’t cry because I’m gone.
I will be with all of you in your memories.
We will all be together again someday and we will all rejoice together.
Though I've left this world behind I've taken a part of it with me…
Your pains and sorrows will heal with time and your lives will continue.
Remember me with love in your hearts and be happy when I’m on your minds.
I’ll be waiting with anticipation to see each one of you again.
Until that time, remember, I’ll be before our Lord every day, interceding for you so that my prayers I had on earth will be answered here in Heaven.
Please don’t cry, because I’m gone.
Just remember that I’m with the one who created me.
There is no greater peace than to be with the one who can do all things and can do them right.
As I left this world and went to be with the Lord, there were people there I hadn't seen for many years.
They were here with open arms to greet me and the joy I felt was so wonderful.
It was like another family reunion.
Please be at peace as you travel the road home and know that I’ll be here with open arms to greet you as you enter into the presence of the Lord.
Please don’t cry because I’m gone.

As I looked upon his face it was very recognizable
I had seen the hollow look in my own eyes many times
I knew this wasn’t just another poem request
He wore the face of death and instantly my heart sank
There is nothing worse than learning a loved one has died
While you set in Prison
As he began to speak I studied his face
For I m an expert on reading people
The expression in their eyes
The tone of their voice
The lines that map the depth of pain upon their face
Body movement
And their hands
His eyes darted downwards and his voice cracked
He wrung his hands as though he were expecting a great waterfall
To start pouring out of them
He started to explain that the family lawyer had contacted him
His family had all gone out on their boat
They were headed to Catalina Island
Smallest details are important every word must be analyzed
Father, Mother, Wife, Children, (One boy and two girls)
Brother, Sister and family dog
Brother’s wife and one nephew
Witnesses said, “The boat just exploded into flames”
Fuel leak
He raised his head and our eyes met
“Jughead (My Prison name) they’re all gone”, he said
His eyes were rimmed with red and very swollen
His entire body was trembling as he burst into tears
I held him like a mother would her frightened child
Searching my mind for something to offer
Something he could grasp hold of and find strength in
He must be the only family member left (Why else would a lawyer have contacted him?)
Like I said, “Every word is important”!!!
I thought, “Legacy, this shall be my approach”
I started to speak softly but with a touch of conviction
“Youngster your life is more important now than ever”
“It’s now your responsibility to make sure” –
“That your family tree continues to grow”
Bewildered he ask, “How did you know I didn’t have any more brothers, uncles or nephews”
“Because you just told me”, I replied
I could see in his face and in the expression of his eyes
That I had amazed him and he was now; another one of my kids
I suggested that him and I start a “Grief and Loss Program”
So I could teach him what I had taught myself
How to properly process death by stages
Shock, Denial, Blame, Anger and Acceptance
We cross paths with many faces everyday
Some we hardly even notice
Others stay with us forever
Learn to read those faces compassionately
And you will have learned
How to find the Beauty within your own
Written for Sami's contest

I RUN from FEAR.
I HUNT for FEAR.
I HIDE in FEAR.
I FIGHT cause of FEAR.
I'm FAR from you.
I'm SCARED cause of you.
You're the FEAR that I HUNT.
You're the FEAR that I FIGHT.
You're the FEAR that SCARED me for LIFE.
*Comment if you have any thought and if you like it. oh and some of the poems i write arn't
always my feelings. their some times just to get through other people so they can have
something to read that just fit's them.*
-Angel4eva23

Curious lights flash through the door,
Strange beckonings leave you wanting more.
Drawn to the lights you step outside,
Into the night where danger may hide.
Striding boldly you search for the source,
Stepping lively you determine your course.
Every step brings you nearer,
While your surroundings grow ever stranger.
Dazzling lights flash in the darkness,
Showing garish flashes of horrid harshness.
Steps grow timid, but much faster,
To avoid unknown disaster.
The devil dances just out of sight,
Cackling at his fortune this ghastly night.
The darkness fades with the sunrise,
Revealing the morbid cast of Death and Demise.
Then time passes and small things change,
But the cries of sirens you never heard still cry,
Never silenced within your brain,
Ever crying out the day that you began to die.

N ever again will the Tribes of Israel be the sacrificial lamb of man.
A nnealed in furnaces of man, not in Olam HaEmet by the Almighty in "the World of Truth."
Z ealots rose from the ashes of the ovens and now defend like Sicarii of old.
I srael blooms and grows in the desert, returned by Allied Forces to the cauldron.
H ome to the Holy Land, they were sent, shipped, caste surrounded by Arab foe, isolated.
O vens melted their hearts, striped their forms for their souls held no intrinsic value.
L ampshades and shoes were made from their skin, jewelry from the gold in their teeth.
O rders given by The Third Reich were obeyed without conscious. The herd was culled.
C hrist-killer the Christian mind said, devil worshiper, their deaths were acceptable.
A nti-Semitism always has been and always will be a threat to Jews everywhere.
U nited, Jews must form a majority population in Israel so Jews everywhere feel safe.
S anctuary will never again being denied Israel will be safe haven from religious persecution.
T o a future where all men have intrinsic worth regardless of race, creed or religion, pray.

On the 30th of June you entered this world,
so cute and content my beautiful girl.
I have never seen such a proud father,
kissing your hands and feeling your feet.
Little blue eyes so hard to forget
wrapped in a pink shawl, you were my princess.
Your brothers smile when he first met you.
He stroked your cheek and called your name.
But, it was too late my tiny princess.
The angels couldn't wait any longer.
On the 30th of June you left this world,
so peaceful and pale my beautiful girl:Liliana

“She was mine” was all he thought
His spark was gone, forever had seemed so long
The gleam in his eye, dulled as days went by
He’d been trying hard to carry on, she was two months gone
He could no longer cry, all life was now, was a lie
His sadness growing deeper, as the world continued to fly by
His girl was gone now, his reason and purpose no longer around
For years he cared, he couldn’t show, but those actions spoke louder than any words
she would’ve known
His poor tired soul began to appear on his face
His heart numb from losing the one love that who with, his life had begun
Now it was his time to start, for in his heart, he knew……
They wouldn’t be far apart.
Dedicated to the memory of my Grandparents
William Lee Neeland Sr. 02/22/27 – 07/10/04
Pauline Sue Neeland 07/27/46 - 12/24/03
with all my love, #2

Sitting with her at their last hours,
studying her face as his mind devours.
Wishing this moment could be suspended in time,
avoiding their goodbyes up to Heaven she'll climb.
Married for years through the good and the bad,
the disease that parts them is all so sad.
When she passes he'll die of a broken heart,
he'll not allow death to keep them apart.
He holds her hand and it makes them whole,
God made them all but one flesh and soul.
He embeds in his mind the greens of her eyes,
as she withers away clinging to her he trys.
He said I love you I always will,
you are the only one this void can fill.
He crys and holds her as tight as he can,
wanting to collaps so helpless where he stands.
She lays on the couch and takes her last breath,
as it came to pass the hour of her death.
Her soul had passed so swiftly through the room,
his bride of thirtythree years had left her groom.
Eight years later he says I'm going home,
to be with my love in Heaven we'll roam.
He finally died of a massive heart attack,
finding her footsteps in Heaven he tracks.
He recognizes her by her deep green eyes,
the beauty of her face is where is heart resides.
Her body was free of cancer and pains,
free as a bird she broke free from the chains.
No rememberance of death had entered their minds,
just the love in their hearts through God's glory they shine.

There has been an accident
And I don’t know what to do
The sirens are getting closer
And yet, I hear no voices
I was at my friends house
And had a couple beers
Until I got a phone call
I picked it up and answered
The other voice had said
"Where are you?"
I knew
That I was screwed
My little brother had practice that day
And I was supposed to pick him up
I got to the school safely
And decided everything was going to be okay
I didn’t see the other person
Then there was a flash
And in that flash
There was a crash
Three out of the four people had died that day
And I'm that number four
In the other vehicle
There was a dad and his daughter
Going home from the park
The little girl was only six years old
Most important though
Was my little brother
He had died that day
Did I tell you
He was only ten
The paramedic said
"He died quickly"
They always say that though
I knew it wasn't true
They just said that to help us get through
He is dead
And I'm alive
And I don't know what to do
~(~Get a Ride, Don't Drink and Drive. You'll Save a Life~)~

If I had just one day left to live
Wisdom I'd share to my children I'd give
Just for a while we would sit down and talk
A last sitting for us all, before my soul walks
We would talk of our past remembering all the times we have shared
Look to your future for my last day I'm prepared
For a couple of hours my favourite films I would watch
The Shawshank and Private Ryan, with a Jack Daniels no Scotch
With the hours, minutes and seconds ticking by
My eyes will soon close and I'll say my goodbye's
I'll miss all of nature and the warmth of the sun
But most of all my children, my daughter and three sons
The evening now draws as I look back on my years
What little light I see goes, now the blackness appears

So what if i smoke, who does it hurt?
Why do you care what plant i choose to grow from the dirt?
I just want to laugh again,
I i just want to smile again,
Smile for something other then a family photo.
This is my crutch, this is how i cope..
This is how i tell my self that there is still hope, It could be my only hope.
My obi-wan-kanobi, the only one who knows me.
I don't know if your my savior but do believe your close,
you keep me laughing, you keep me off a rope.
mother why can't you see!
This is so much more then dope!
It leaves a sour taste now because I know you don't approve,
there is so much worse things that i could use and abuse,
Don't you remember my friend Dillon? Don't you remember the news?
I knew he was getting into bad Sh*t but i just ignored the clues..
but f*ck, i don't want to think about that....
F*CK! I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT!
Maybe if i smoke this it will somehow bring him back..

When love hurts, God heals
When love hurts, God feels
Your pain too as you do now
Pray and He'll show you how
When love so hurts, how to deal
The deep pain is oh so very real
God'll cry too for your tears and
It's true about footprints in sand
Reach out and He holds your hand
In kind your mind will feel His love
Hurting'll subside from God's glove
I know of true hurting, how it feels
Accepting a hand of cards He deals
Painful nights crying, I've had many
But God's blessings, I've had plenty
That I will have better days ahead, I
Know and no longer have need to cry
When life itself hurt I questioned why
But I survived and my faith didn't die
For yesteryear's hurts, it will subside
The tears still come once in a while
But the love memories, I can smile
For God's so in His glorious Kingdom
For Kingdom come, thy will be done
And done will the pain be, away it'll
Go, like wood off a creative whittle
Beautiful to see, as days coming be
God cures all hurt, just wait and see
My mother, dad, brother, baby too
And for me, cried like baby boo hoo
But I wiped away the tears and have
Been blessed like a cow and her calf
Help do words of praying and writing
More than once, had vision - sighting
Not just in dreams, but for really real
I was in such pain, it was just surreal
Once it was Mother/Son, Mary/Jesus?
Through Him I pray for me, bejezzus

Pushed as for across the line as he can go
feeling more and more disappointed in his self
His mother doesn't let him be who he wants
He reads her his poem but she just laughs
Telling him he won't get anywhere
She was disappointed in what he has become
He writes a poem about real things
But people just take it as words
Words have no meaning to them
Have you read his new poem?
Yea I didn't understand it
I wonder why he writes about sad stuff
Will he find god?
Nah there just words

A stairway to friends who now live in the clouds...
Peaceful and happy, not many with frowns...
Waiting for the day when the table is full again..
Raising glasses to life and a tribute to friends...
Stories and memories that bring tears and smiles...
Lifting spirits and hearts and left with no denials...
You live in our minds, you live in our days...
And I know deep inside, you hear every word that
I say...
So when I look to the sky and the clouds seem right..
I know there lies your smile that will always be bright...
written by Michael J. Falotico

It's a complicated situation that I'm facing.
Between broken dreams and death planning conversations.
Constantly asking myself why I feel out of Gods hands into the arms of satin.
Praying for life after death but deep down questioning continuation.
I weary from all the back stabbing and sins and it mostly generates from my
family and friends.
Please lord tell me will this pain every end.
Can I ever walk with you and make Amen’s?
Cause only you can ever know where my soul really been.
The devils getting closer and he is coming in the forms of many men.
I hate to say it but I opened up the doors and let them in.
They pass me the weed and beer to through off my concentration.
Go to job interviews the next day say words but don't know the pronunciation.
By DNA have a father but mentally there is no relation.
It's sad to say it's darker by the day.
It took two buildings to fall before the nation united and prayed.
After the fact Mr. Bush send eighteen year old to Iraq to be living in their last days.
These are my situations

In a past life I must have killed a priest,
or could it be that on flesh i did feast?
Maybe I brutally raped a God ordained nun.
Because in this life I am being shunned.
My kittens have died, one every other day.
Three total and one other will not get that pardon or stay.
Feline leukemia, so all my cats will surely die.
The only humane thing is to euthanize, and so I cry.
Lois, then Jasper, next Quagmire, now Emmett too,
The mama cat, and their older brother will die, how can we get through?
Hopefully the three orphans weren't exposed enough,
Four weeks until we'll know, why does life have to be so tough?
The mama, Maxine, was named after my grandma who died,
the kids and Illyanna got her for me, because all I did was cry.
A year and a half of joy and love she brought to me.
Why does she and all the kittens have to die, is what I plea.
What have I done to have a life where I struggle every day?
I'm not a bad person, I'm kind and loving, how much more must we pay?
A mother, who didn't want me for a while, many men who used and abused me.
At times like this, it makes me want to give up on life, to turn and flee.
They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle at one time,
I feel like its a lie, I feel unjustly convicted of a horrible crime.
Today I have to choose, let my animals suffer or give them the mercy of death.
To bury six members of my family in seven days, will leave me bereft.
How much torture and pain must one person or family have to go through?
This isn't some fiction story, every word I write is nothing but true.
Every passing minute, more of my heart breaks piece by piece.
I don't smoke, or drink, or do drugs, or have sex, so I have no release.
Let me wake, and it be nothing more than a horrible dream,
I can't take much more of this crappy bad luck, its too extreme.
God, if you're there, why are you doing this to all of us?
I've always been told You are someone we can trust!
Please God, please don't take anything else away.
My heart and soul whither as the ends start to fray.
Tell me what you want me to do and I will gladly obey.
Just please, Dear God, I can't handle the agonizing dismay.

In a Void of Emptiness, I Found a Dream : that did not belong to Me
You may call it Curiosity, but I decided “to Dream that “LOST “, Dream
As my Eyelids became Heavy with Sorrow : A Fatal Accident I would See.
Let me figure this out : A Beloved Has been Taken by a Tear, so it seems
A Sibling, A Sister , A Friend, A Companion, A HEART of a HEART
A Memory : Living FOREVER; Thriving on the TEARS of the Past
I did not Know YOU ; “Suzanne” but by Proxy, by YOUR Sisters’ Heart
I have someone very Dear, in Heaven: also “will YOU say Hello when You Pass
Inspired by LOVE for SIBLINGS : Dedicated To ~ Constance ~ A Rambling POET~~
Author's Note : If I am Wrong in the wording of this POEM, Constance, Pleease tell
me and I will delete LOVE , ALWAYS and FOREVER YOUR Liege, with LOVE...HG
(Harry)

Long ago my days began like any other scene
Until came an angel with the reason to my being
Held my finger tightly close scared to be alone
Lit my house by his beauty incase he had to go
Walked then ran and in a flash set his life for me
Love filled words of only him is my favorite story
Deep affection blinded me from every stories end
Pride of having that angel as a son and a friend
Came crashing down one day along with his wings
In tears of cut up memories and losing everything
He did not say farewell but never did he return
I heard his heart beating under mine which broke and burnt
I heard his last prayers in all the cries and screaming
Wish I would wake up one last time in hope that I was dreaming
I want to smile the way I would by just his sight
That part of me has drowned off towards the light
Will carry your burdens under my vein wherever I may go
Your blessed soul mate and five gems hold your names glow
From all the joy and laughter that faded away to pain
I wait now for when you will be in my arms again

As we gather, the sun heats sweet beats
Blazing lands ye spread far west test rest
These winds that blow changes though, will steel
The cry of banshee, they dare rust trust
They not see the light of day hither wither
Signs knew not, manifest He speak seek
Plainly in view will be done son Sun
To be undone this cloaked veil, gowns crowns

What really happens when its your time to die,
Your last breath taken, does your soul leave and fly.
Is there really a deceased family member there to greet,
Someone you loved greatly, waiting for the final meet.
Is heaven really beautiful, at the gate is there a seat,
If you’ve lived a good life, is it like a perfect retreat.
Can there be life after death, I hope, or is this deceit,
When we die, are we gone, just our bodies in concrete.
As a scientific person my thoughts make it hard to lie,
But I believe my family will greet me at my last goodbye.

I recall now the days
when forever seemed but a short time
The visits to the hospital,
brought sad images to your mind
She lay on a bed, cords all around her,
no hair upon her head
The cancer drove us crazy
with worry tears and fright
She was only a baby,
I didn't get the chance to say goodbye
Farewell until we meet again
where you'll be waiting...
waiting for tomorrow to come again.
What if tomorrow never comes?
How will I face the rising sun,
when the moon is the only thing I can see?
I need her here with me...
The only loss I've ever known
The only time that I've
experienced this kind of sorrow...
So what if tomorrow never comes?
What if tomorrow never comes.
And now I lie here thinking it through,
memories flash through my head,
memories of you
Moments of a bittersweet time
Reminiscing the days when you were mine
The days when you were alive
The tears come back to my eyes
I feel the need to cry but nothing slides out
I need to scream and shout,
My emotions pour out as one, silently
So what if tomorrow never comes?
Reality in death is so hard to accept,
I need my tomorrow to come... What if it never does?
What if tomorrow never comes?
How will I face the rising sun,
when the moon is the only thing I can see?
I need her here with me...
The only loss I've ever known
The only time that I've
experienced this kind of sorrow...
So what if tomorrow never comes?
What if tomorrow never comes.
Will tomorrow ever come?
I just want to be awake
when the moon becomes the sun
I'm waiting here for you,
in the darkness of the night.
I wait still for you,
forever the images will haunt my mind
Tomorrow will come
I'll soon be alright
Tomorrow will come...
Tomorrow has come...
I can now see the sun.

overwhelming thoughts with screams suffocating time
as tears form the river of denial i drift deeper out of my mind
grasping for air as i attempt to see what isn't there
coveting words that cling onto my ability to care
lacking self control i search for something, anything to grab
scratching, biting, clawing my doorway to deaths cold slab
songs that which i sing in memories of whispers and prayer
beating to the seductive release of that which isn't fair
i try and try to overcome this realities haunting sin
i dig deeper and deeper throwing away my soul within
twisting and turning seeping with silence
sleeping and spinning weeping in violence
learning to regret and never to forgive
unable to accept it was me who lived

The Son of Love’s Union
Two hearts swelled to twice their size the day that you were born
As we counted, very gently, ten fingers and ten toes
then your daddy sweetly touched your little turned up nose
Two hearts fell in love with our new squirming bundle of joy
Wrinkled pink skin did not deter our feelings within
As tiny hands grasping our fingers gave our world a spin
Two hearts, joined in love, now have two children between
As father, mother, sister and brother round out the score
Only death could break the bond with these children we adore

By: Debra Squyres for the “Gerber Baby” members contest.
Note: This poem was written from a photo of my husband and I after our son was born. I’m in the hospital bed holding him; his blanket is unwrapped so we can see all of him. I remember us counting his tiny fingers and toes and my husband being so choked up with love and pride, he reached down and simply touched his little nose. This was our first son, second child. Sadly, death did break the physical bond, but not the bond of love of Son for father. Deeply cherished photo.

The fox gnaws flaking muscle
From speechless rabbit, cold
In mind and body. Men shiver
As bodies dry, spat from river.
Rings of globes circle hands
Of the thoughtless, so beaten
From paths to be told of Him,
Waiting until eyes grow dim.
Walking among us is plague,
Standing above us is but love,
These winds will claw our youth
While faith entraps this truth.
Winter comes but we survive,
Breath and bones, colonies thrive.

He was her world,
she was daddy’s little girl,
all she had was him since momma died,
she lost a mother,he lost a wife.
He spoiled her in all ways he could,
and,made it his point of duty,ensuring she understood;
You can’t have everything you want,
and a shot at education never pass up the chance.
He loved her with all his heart and never left it unsaid;
he knew how badly she needed to know someone cared.
She was so young when momma died,
but daddy filled the empty space in her life.
He was her rock, she was his,
they were each others will to live.
It was a tragic moment that night daddy died,
now she’s lost the only family she had.
She'd just gotten over losing her mother
and now she’s lost her father,
her hearts broken in pieces again
and just when she’d finished piecing it back together.

dear
daddy
even though
your gone from here
I shall remember
father's day has always
been your favorite time so
today I come and placed a rose
at the foot of your grave- sites bedding
and I even placed one for mama too
In Loving Memory
Daddy 1925-1981
Mama 1934-2005
{RIP}

If I had lived yesterday
in that chaotic world echoing
of Gatling guns shots and canon blasts,
I would have made a difference:
hate and prejudice would have not prevailed,
and power wouldn't have been abused;
from History's records, we know that even
when Jesus lived it wasn't that peaceful!
During the American Civil war,
Northerners fought Southerners...
did they hear Scarlet's desperation,
or the moaning of her loss as war went on?
And for sometime, it had become
a modus vivendi she couldn't change.
Let's return to the stark reality of the present:
have we noted some drastic changes
in Government and social behavior?
Yes, it has given us more liberty,
but another war has shattered many hopes
of ever seeing peace as blood continues to be shed...
while nations arm themselves to their teeth!
How can we welcome those winds of change and feel safe,
if we tell our children that danger still exists?
And has society been kinder and more caring?
Obscenity, teen sex, violence, greed, vulgarity
and exploited sexuality are being condoned by many;
we wouldn't be that cool if we didn't use obscene words,
and worst of all, we are called hermits or asexual
if we abstain from sex to prevent those sexual diseases!
Is this rebellion, or a trend of the new generation?
Having unprotected sex, making babies,
laying the burden on their Government that's fighting
a terrorist war? Do we seen any future
for these lost kids who imitate the habits of their parents?
Blame them? Ah! Lots of things would be changed,
if they turned to God and ask for His guidance!
And to end my visceral narrative, I shamefully confess,
" I hate to live in this loathsome age of greed!"

Cancer, I hate you with a deep passion
You took my dad not in a timely fashion
My dad was the backbone of our family
His absence left an aching need cavity
He held our family together with prayer
Away from Satan’s snare and hell’s fire
Then one day he was so terrible sick
We thought this must be a silly trick
The doctor said he had not much time
O no the family thought this is a crime
The best father there was down by cancer
Riding on a black horse this hated lancer
For Michael J. Falotico's contest

I see my breathe.
Night has fell upon a frost.
Gods' chill lye now on my shoulders.
Alone yet not.
Silence now before the icey rain.
Surrender as my nervous teeth chatter.
For the warmth of a home is all that is desired.
My empty haven.
But,I am filled with a heart that is full.
Want nor wait.
Arms now cover me like a blanket.
Gust of wind has carried your unwaivered heart.
Candles lit a way to find what is left.
Merely an image of what once was.
Break down into a sob.
Remains frozen solid as climate has taken its' vengence.
I suffer no more,weak body.
Now only in spirit.
Shall I rest.

Remembering the laughable times we shared,
Seeing that guilty look that you always gave,
When we laughed and got caught,
You will be missed,
Being the lovable and caring person that you are,
funny but also serious,
You will be missed,
You were Strong and wise,
Loved to cook and feed everyone,
but most of all for being loving,
Grandma you will be missed,
Embracing us with your warm hugs when we were down,
Guiding us with your footsteps after you followed Jesus' footsteps,
You will be missed,
Seeing the hurt and pain in our eyes caused by plenty,
You gave us encouraging words to get us through,
And for that,
You will dearly be missed,
Knowing you will be beside us,
To let us know what's right & wrong,
You will be missed,
Grandma in the midst of it all,
I will miss you soo much,
I wrote this poem just for you,
hope you can hear me!!
I love you and miss you!!
Vernard Lamar Mays

You spun your spindly web of lies
In the silken strands waxed family ties
You coddled your young then muffled her cries
You buried her carcass 'neath the availing skies
Beneath your black veil lay a predatory disguise
With your guile, you craftily disarmed all of the bleary eyes
A bleeding shroud in your stolid carriage did rise
A new, more sinister plan you did devise
You desecrated the shroud and drained the feeding flies
Intrigue turned to folly as your friends, family reconnoitered with
spies
In your cleansed web lay a portentous prize
From the fowl smell of putrid flesh, a merciless kill they did
surmise
You quickly returned to your spinning mill a more flexible yarn to
reprise
You calmly intimidated that the innocent prey accidentally entered
your vize
With mercy and pardon you greeted its pitiful sighs
After you released your caring grip, it fell through narrow gap, due
to smaller size
Landing in a squalid pool of water, with its plight did sympathize
Drowning in your own cup of drained blood, could not immediately
empathize
When the hoary sun dried its bowl of tears, your twined fates did
realize
Hearts painfully severed, buried the corpse death's sting to
tranquilize
Burying your grief in the earth, your emotive grounds did
subsequently anesthetize
Oh stealthy predator time did your lethal venom into salt crystalize
Your slithery prints the corroded carcass doth no longer advertize
But from heaven's door a saintly angel yet lives your evil deed to
immortalize

The night, with everything humid
Took us to the balcony
Current of fresh air, the moon also ripe
Amidst queries – we reached about stars
Why the luminance, clusters, variance?
Non astrologer, She did a best
But one premise struck
Each man has one up there
She answered – to everywoman too
Where is mine?
That, she pointed: the brightest.
Why . . . what about yours then?
Mine is in you, son
The place in your father’s house.
And She was my mother!
(Tribute to Elizabeth Adetutu Ojo)

lead my hand o' dear life
lead my hand
on this land
o' dear life,
until the end
o' dear thought
of comfort
seed my life
feed me not in strife
bleed me joy from nine to five
lead me a journey of phases
a journey of ages
to face this
germinate in me a corn
of survival
a history of possibilities
a record of living to afford
a source to live
for this life
is a choreographer of life
a propeller of existence
an economy of spiritual commodities
a tear drop of opportunities
yet not so many does see its commonalities
an event of anomalies and regularities
lead me a way o' dear life
carry me a sledge on a journey of life
a terrain of survival and life
a gemstone for many
a pentagon of any
a model of penny
an artwork of joy
a string of life on a journey
a script of many
a stanza of any
opn08022012/0106
from: 'journey of life' and 'on a journey',
february 2012
>> ntema's unique poetry (nup)
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/lead-my-hand-o-dear-life/

A terrifying ordeal,
Not only is my mentor gone,
My lovely Rosie,
No longer does this grandmother’s;
Heart beat,
Tears have flooded my evenings,
Heartache captures my soul,
Day by day,
Improve,
Update letters,
Left at the proper sight,
Whilst time of daylight,
Quells the pain within,
My medium moves me,
To succeed and move on,
Achieve all that my Nonny,
Would have desired me to,
So I push onward toward my dreams,
I no longer feel the need to scream.

YOUR MORNING TOAST AND CHEERIOS
I'll be the wind that blows your hair
all of your days I will be there
in summer breezes, winter's freeze
I'll be the wind through all your trees.
I'll be the raindrops on your face
each drop that falls a warm embrace
I'll be each sunset there will be
and every star will shine of me.
I'll be your time that comes and goes
your morning toast and cheerios
I'll be in all your candle flames
and I'll be there at football games.
I'll be the wind that blows your hair
both here and there and everywhere
if I must leave to be with you
then leave I must and leave I do.

You were taken much to young, you were only 37. You had so much to live for, but
god must have needed an extra angel to help pour out the rain. You never gave
up....even when they gave you only 6 months...you lasted 3 years. I always
remember you smiling face and your dimples. You may have only been here for a
short while but you left a lasting impression on every heart you touched...You may
be gone but you are still very much alive in my heart. I love you Uncle Billy!

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.
I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?
Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.
Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.
Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........

life and the giver
the giver has given to us the life
the art of life
is the science
within the mind
to live
acting as rationally thought
with realness,
pureness,
humility,
tolerance,
dignity,
self-thought/awareness,
self concept
and being in life
(to which at some variance and instance, all shall and must cease to effect at once) : not to just exist, for we all live to die!
'one one cocoa fill basket' - one thing at a time.
'one hand wash the other' - each of us needs the other to live as peeple in oneness.
opn16112012/0838
from: "the mind and the science of life" book no. 13 of 2012
november 2012
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/life-and-the-giver/
onalethuso petruss ntema
opncompanies.bw@gmail.com

Today is a great man’s birthday
I wish he were here to know
That not a day goes ever by
That I don’t love him so
He means, not meant, the world to me
He’ll always be close by
So, brother, Matthew, in Heaven you are
Happy Birthday, I say, with teary eyes
born 3-5-61
deceased 5-30-93

Mommy, I know I left you here.
Ring ring went the phone,
Little did we know never again would I answer
Ring ring went the phone.
I was eating breakfast when
Open slammed the door,
That morning how strongly I would have denied
I would end up on the floor.
I tried to scream, Mom, I really did.
But he had me. . .
He used my garden tools to beat me.
He had me.
Those tools used to bring me so much joy,
But his purpose was to aid him.
I had loved greeting visitors with garden so green
It's not the tools' fault though, I don't blame them.
I shielded my face with my hand,
But soon that was broken. . .
The simple trowel was my doom,
All too soon, my face shattered and broken. . .
There was blood everywhere;
Mom I was so scared.
To stop fighting though,
I never dare.
The sleek black laptop I had
Been given for Christmas
Which held all of my
Favorite pictures of us,
With it and my purse,
He ran away,
Not knowing I wouldn't
Be here today.
The white-washed walls
Of the hospital room
Only all too well reminded
Me of Amontillado's tomb.
I left you in the hospital
Though. All alone. . .
They caught him, have comfort,
Even if you're alone.
I'm sorry Mommy,
I didn't want to go. . .
But who ever gets a choice?
I had to go.
How little did we know, that
One day, ring ring,
Never again would I answer
That phone, ring ring.

Its getting late
but you already came
and while you were here
things never change
you lay with me
and tell me your words
then you leave
and I feel hurt.
Its not you that hurts me
but the sound of the door
closing behind you
I know for sure
you'd like to stay
but you never do
I'm left alone
missing you.
These days its more frequent
you leave so much
that you're gone more hours
than the day brings sun
and I have begun
to feel so numb
when the door closes
another night I run
far away from the thoughts I have
because its killing me to look
at my empty hands
I remember when we were on the sand
you told me you loved me
but you weren't my man
and so I walked, feeling okay
but too many months
now I want you to stay
Am I selfish?
asking too much?
You only visit me an hour
after dusk
and I must go on
but should I stay?
when you see me sometimes
but its always too late.

I've made this trip 1000 times,
For better or for worse,
This wooden bench that wore my spine,
Is where we had our first...
This cupcake and a candle,
Is the most that I could carry,
To celebrate the life we spent,
Everyday that we were married...
In spirit you still have a home,
To lay and rest your head,
Although it feels like Im alone,
I can feel you in my bed...
Every picture has a deeper meaning,
Than it ever did before,
So I look for you in every dream,
Until I cant cry anymore...
And the candle left a year ago,
Leaves me without a doubt,
That when the wind decides to blow,
It is you who blew it out...

******The Lord is his favorite.....******
Where ARE you?
On the atonement
Metter....
This is alway's done
By appointment
So, don't be a cheater
------
Do you come in Dead Last
Or did you not remember
You forgott your past...
------
Or do you need so much
As a looking Glass
To show you the reason
Why those who are destined
Always' come in last
This is usually done by Menions'
It happens' so fast
------
Or, do you seek
Absolution and hope
That it should part
With Trinity serving
As a Foot-note:
While you draw straws'
Or the pick of the lott....
------
Or, need I just not ask
Fore it will never last
The price was paid by Jesus
He gave us a free pass...
------
Fore their are now those
Who gather to the MASS
And to participate in Prayer
How long shall it last
Fore they are Gods' Children
- And -
The resolution is clear....
------
All week they did "Fast"
------
They gathered all around
In Legion's did they be-fall
To deem doth' reconing'
For what they had lost
When the little Chid Jesus
Accended the 'CROSS'
To redeem doth' the Lord
------
But, He was already there
Ready to receive their Call
Where the voice to revelations'
Would consume us all
-----
This was a call to God!
GF

Pink Slime, Pesticides
And chicken thighs bigger than my thighs
And we wonder why there is an increase
in learning disabilities among children today
I say it’s because the process, that the food is processed and grown and raised, is
compromised by demand, money, greed or fame.
I do understand that demand is high
so we have to do somethin’
So to compete, we inject hormones into the very animal or plant that is sold for consumption
So now we eat these hormones and our bodies are stressed because of the added pesticides and herbicides and other sh#! that’s hard to digest
I mean what’s really the cause?
There’s more kids with disabilities today than there ever was
I say it’s because like the story is told in the verses, that knowledge is increasing in man and the result is not what He purposed.
Pink Slime and Pesticides..We’re eating stuff that’s been chemically grown inside…and chickens bigger than my thighs

Two hearts beat, now beating faster; beating until they're one
Two souls breathe, now breathing deeper; breathing until they're done
Two lovers see forever, and forever is where they run
One child comes home tomorrow for life has just begun
Even when the rainbow's glowing, the skies can seem so gray
Even when the wind's not blowing, the tides can turn your way
And when the water's raging, beneath skies that seem so blue
It's just your body aging, and it has nothing to do with you
So now when our God comes calling, I'll hold your hand and stroke your hair
Yes, as snowflakes start falling, I will look for you everywhere
And Mother, as you start flying, remember as you rise above
Marlene, you are not dying, but finding everlasting love
One child goes home tomorrow to embrace the Father and the Son
One child who knows no sorrow, for life has just begun

camera three is having
an existential crisis;
his long languid lens
has suffered in silence,
an impotent shard of
quixotic resistance,
for his vision won’t
focus on faecal injustice,
camera three is having
an existential crisis;
mascots, despots,
or other devices,
just won’t solve the problem,
or even negate,
this delicate time
in his delicate state,
camera three is having
an existential crisis;
Osiris, Anubis, Oasis and Isis,
have all shed the skin of
guitar band dementia,
wheeling out wisdom
for the fear of inertia,
camera three is having
an existential crisis…

If you haven't took
A second look,
Remember that He
Believes' in those who
Believes in the " Book "
-----
So many dope dealer's
Say, so what's the hook
------
Dope users' say..
Their is no Hope....
If for the sake of Jesus
Their should be so much
Solace in the words' that
He wrote....
------
Then their would be no Dope...
People or other wise....
To cope....
----
But, as to say for the last time
That I have Looked
Their has been a greater
Travesty in the Human Life
And the jobs' that it took
With destruction and strief
Dare We not be this way
For the rest of our life..
------
So, if you are looking
For just another word to say
Say, Thy will be with Thee
Till My dying day
And then He shall carry
Me the rest of the way...
-------
And that He shall be coming
Shortly, and with-out delay..
Fore He has carried Me
So far,
So far this way...
----
And thou Shall look forward
Every-day....
The Son of the Light
That which shine's threw
The Night....
Fore Jesus loves' you
And need you...
------
All Ye need,
Is to simply pray.....
And let Dear God carry
You the rest of the way!
------
Let the Little Child Jesus
Carry the day'
GF

The soldier, the war, and I
Today I am home and thinking to my self..
What would I be doing if I had a soldier coming home to me and my family?
What would I be doing if I was the soldier looking to going home to my family?
And then, I look back at all the years passed since this last war..
Many children have grown to become men, Others have grown to become soldiers
Where would I be if I had gone to the war and fought for my country?
Where would I be if I had gone and came back safely?
Where would I be if I had not gone at all because I was not qualified to go?
Would I be with my family or in a hospital injured?
Would I be standing proud, and laughing with my friends and family?
Or would I be dead, as I never got to come back?
Today I am home and thinking to myself..
Thinking of all of those brave soldiers, children still
Who are out there, suffering.. And some ill
Today I am home and thinking to myself..
How many woman are crying because of their gone loved ones
How many men are crying for their loved and missed ones
How many children are fatherless or motherless, or both!
And at the end I stop. I think no more..
I am grateful for the things I have,
I am grateful for the people who surround me...
And I am sure grateful to never have gone to a war; yet,
I sure appreciate the thoughts, courage, life, and suffering
Of all of those who have been touched by it.

It was a Friday…
not eerie nor frightful,
no ominous warning,
just tick-tock…
The scars you left in
our impaled minds shown while
the wings of the angels
carried you.
Swiftly you were gone
and took all joy along.
In death, in forever,
in the grave.
Scarce grace lent to you.
Although horrid the race,
you shamelessly ran to
Paradise.
Words can’t express life
taken untimely but,
"Father and husband." carved
in tombstone.

Please don't be sad
For I am at peace
As you all are gather together
Don't be glum just rejoice with me
No more shall pain
Ravage through my body
Or need the help of family and friends
To care and tend to my every desire or need
Close your eyes and imagine with me
That I'm wrap in the arms of my Savior
Don't think of me as being gone
Just know that I have made it home
I have lived my life
and created a family that will leave a legacy
A legacy that cannot be broken
Unite together and celebrate my home going
That would be the greatest gift
You could ever give to me

It hurts all the time
This pain in me never stops
I want to cry for you
I want to scream for you
I want to beg for you
I want you to be here
This cant be fair
This cant be real
But I smile and I laugh
I get up every morning to go to work
Throw on a happy face and make some jokes
I come home and enjoy my day
I have fun
And I continue on
But I’m so hurt
I’m so lost
Seeing you in there killed me
I could never get the phone call out my head
The screams from my mom
The walk up there to see if it was true
But most of all I wont forget you
In the casket
Touching your hand
You were so cold
You didn’t belong there
Seeing you go into the ground
Seeing them fall apart
Feeling my heart break into pieces
When all I could do is scream
I will never forget that day
And every time I smile I want to cry
Every time I laugh I want to cry
Every time I think I want to cry
Every breath I take takes a little bit out of me
Because I want to cry
I want this to not be real
I want to had spend more time with you
I want to hug you
Laugh with you
Tell you I love you
That I was always there
That I am still always here
I am so broken
But I continue on with life
Because God took you and not me
He wanted me here for a reason
So ill continue on for
You
I will laugh
And smile
And pretend
Anything to make it to the end
To see you
I miss you just isn’t enough
It doesn’t mean enough
What heals a broken heart?
Time they say
But time wont bring you back
So my heart stays broken
As I pretend to smile
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
As I’m falling apart
My mask then goes on
RIP Bebo... 17 was to young

The Difference My Life He Did Make
Precious are the memories which lift my soul
Soring to heights of remembered laughs
The joys having made eternal will always last
Good experiences for the lessons I did learn
This life of a man who shared in kind
For in his living day by day
This man helped me in showing the way
A way of living as a better husband father and man
A way of living that I might stand
To stand tall for family friendship and right
That from this day-forth his trodden path reflects light
Light to shine when worries I do care
Light to glow my path when in despair
I rejoice to know the difference my life he did make
In remembrance of my Father-In-Law
Poem by Mark A. Goodson (son-in-law)
10/26/2012

I was thinking about you last night.
I can’t believe it’s already been 3 years,
Since you left this world.
I think about you all the time,
Every day and every night.
I know it’s selfish,
To want you to still be here with me.
I know it was your time,
And I can’t argue with that.
But I wish you were still here.
With every ounce of my body,
I wish you were still here.
I wish I could have one more hug,
One more smile,
One more day to spend with you.
I hung your picture in my locker,
So I could see it everyday.
But now that schools over,
I don’t always look at it.
But I don’t have to see your picture,
To remember your face.
To remember the kindness in your eyes,
Or the happiness in your smile.
The love in your voice,
Or the care in your touch.
I don’t need a picture,
To remember you.

Jiggling keys,he gave his crown a scratch
then took another look at his watch.
"You're gorgeous, now please get out!"
for the 10th time he cried out loud.
Out she emerged, breathtaking, as always,
dropping baubles, tottering in her Jimmy's,
Smile still smeared, they left that hour,
unaware of the timed out counter.
Tyres screeched as he sped,
"take it slow honey"she requested,
when, an unexpected brightness grew larger,
until black, and then, everything grew calmer.
With excruciating pain he awakened,
looking around called, "Lauren!"
the teary faces dropped and nodded,
"We're sorry" , they whispered..
Suddenly lifted by a whiff of heat,
all he could hear was his own heart beat.
limped out, made a futile attempt to find his dear,
and crashed with thoughts of future fear.
Shutting the door behind him,
reminiscing love, life, past with grim,
clouds of "what if" floating his self ,
whole world reduced into a tiny elf.
Moving on is most important at present,
Realizing a reason, he may not accept,
he still breathes, for that very reason,
And, taking care of himself will never be treason.

I remember when I was small and life was simple,
When you got what you wanted by flashing your dimples,
When the homework was what’s two plus two,
When the hardest thing was tying your shoe,
When the most boring thing was when naptime came around,
When you would get in trouble for the smallest of sounds.
But know things aren’t quite a simple,
Not an inch of your face found without a pimple,
Now the homework is Trig and Biology,
Piling it on, no emotion, yielding to no plea,
It’s not just tying them; the shoes have to look nice too,
You have to know what’s it, whether it pink, red, or blue,
Now if only I could find a good position to sleep,
In this pile of homework that has become shoulder deep.
And here we are again nearly 50 years later,
Things still not being too much greater,
Past all the times when we though our lives where tough,
Living in the time where our heir is gray and skin is tough,
Still where the cloths you wore as a kid,
And the kids now where what your parents always did.
You realize that you are the homework now,
What happened 9/11, who did it, why and how,
You squint your eyes, wishing the light was dim,
It’s not the pimples now; it’s the wrinkles that replaced them,
Know you’re ready for that nap taken so many times before,
So you lie back in your chair and lean your head towards the floor…

Did We : Cry in vain? For we still remain, in Earthly Pain
We thought :We would Comfort YOU ; in the sadness of YOUR Heart
We did what we thought, right for YOU ; TEARS Toward Heaven Depart
Eons of Eternity, Tranquility, Serenity, We are Heavens “ Summer Rain “
Dear Constance : I know with YOUR POETIC Talent YOU will read this in Truth
Inspired By ~ Constance La France ~ A Rambling POET~~
Dedicated to ~ “ Suzanne La France “ BELOVED SISTER “

Life, A Vanishing Mist
It is so very late in my life
a future pain awaiting my wife
A tragedy for my very young son
years are short, life as yet so undone
Memories are signs that say very soon
well past a shining three quarters moon
Pondering my demise and its effect
hoping no duties do I ever neglect
What is a decade when it flies by
or fears of no more future skies
A man can only pray to do his best
ask God in Heaven to do the rest
Twilight now awaits its next hardened stone
mortal man , sacrifice of flesh and bone!
Robert J. Lindley, 08-16-2014
note: Pondering the future for my family when
I am no more. I write my thoughts, glimpse my fear
and draw my sword in anticipation for a great battle.
A day, a month , a decade..?
Ten years or so , to a soul desiring another 60 is a
bitter pill. Yet swallow I must...
Not abitchin' at all, just a ponderin'.. lol

Why is it that the deepest love
is not enough to hold you?
What demons still torment you
even as loved arms enfold you?
Though the skies are dark and grey,
the sun will shine another day.
Why is it you don’t know this?
God takes us through the winter’s sting
with his sweet promises of spring,
and pleasant days of bliss..
The sun is shining bright today.
You wouldn’t wait. You went away.

There was no mention of your name, yet, it matters not
Watching as your body laid broken, when they took you away
Felt a stab in my heart; as tears rolled down my face
And my mind ran to your Mom, probably making dinner plans
As the story of your final moments began to unfold
Another young life stolen in a most horrific way!
Not through any fault of yours; nor by God’s design
This creature from the deep mistook you for prey
So much faster and stronger, it simply overpowered you
So sleep now, little one- nineteen years is what you had
I’m sure your task was completed; your forever now begins
Never again to be snatched away by man nor beast
I pray your family finds comfort in one ultimate truth
The light which was within you has returned to the Source!
*Note: For the 19 Year old who lost his life today in CA...+RIP

Little one with fingers all curled
Ready to take on this great big world
Like a diamond in a mine, an oyster with a pearl
Excited to be introduced to my little boy or girl
Been waiting nine months for you, my surprise
Imagining the color your hair, skin, and eyes
The beauty in your picture would take first prize
A smile creeps on my face as anticipations rise
Oh tiny one I can't wait to meet
With delicate hands and fragile feet
But as I prepare for my infant to greet
The doctor cries out "There is no heartbeat"
Now the room is racing faster than a relay
As I feel the pulse in my veins slowly delay
The hope once there, rottens with decay
Watching them with agony take my baby away
I thought nothing was as safe as a mother's womb
Didn't know it'd remodel into your burial tomb
How I wanted this life to blossom and bloom
Seeing now my happiness was overly assumed
Couldn't wait to be like every superhero mom
The one you'd always be able to depend on
But I failed you even before your life had begun
Now the blame and the guilt are eating me numb
Oh God I don't understand why I'm left here so weak
But even in my depression, it is You I seek
Your knowledge is higher, Your plans more mystique
Just don't mind this river cascading toward my cheek

Did We : Cry in vain? For we still remain, in Earthly Pain
We thought :We would Comfort YOU ; in the sadness of YOUR Heart
We did what we thought, right for YOU ; TEARS Toward Heaven Depart
Eons of Eternity, Tranquility, Serenity, We are Heavens “ Summer Rain “
Dear Constance : I know with YOUR POETIC Talent YOU will read this in Truth
Inspired By ~ Constance La France ~ A Rambling POET~~
Dedicated to ~ “ Suzanne La France “ BELOVED SISTER “

A new season begun, a new life, a new birth,
engraving our story here upon earth.
The pages turn slowly.
Each day will pass.
Life is measured by the hourglass.
The sands of time pass graciously.
The book is written of mystery.
Echoes of silence, the pages are blank.
For the hourglass of life holds no rank.
Let today be today.
Look not to tomorrow.
For life will fade on the pages of sorrow.
Read the story,
you must go on.
Turn the pages of a new dawn.
To every beginning there is an end.
Your spirit will soar high in the wind.
Hurry before time runs out.
For life surely fades without a doubt.
The clock counts down each grain of sand.
Turn the page and understand.
Reflections of love and holding hands.
This page though so innocent,
a beautiful child of heaven scent,
happiness in a life well spent.
Turn the page again once more,
to find the key to all closed doors.
This page tells of mom and me,
the many cherished memories,
undying love for family.
Turn the page, see all my friends,
from around the world and all nations.
This page tells of sacred marriage,
to have, to hold, and also cherish.
This page tells of many great storms,
the sea of tears, and the thunder roars.
This page holds the photographs,
of many dreams that once was had.
Though some memories of life you can't recall.
The book of seasons, winter, spring, summer, and fall.
The last page to turn, so there's a stall.
The last grain of sand that slowly falls.
Now for a moment don't you cry,
the hourglass of life told us no lie.
For all is born and then must die.
God grant me the time to say goodbye.

Dad sharpened a blade of word
So that it was as sharp as a knife
Mother then open the chest
Until naked like the moon
"Stab the knife!" dad said
I dare not imagine
Blind both eyes of the moon
While night said
Journey still more circular
Even including the dream
Which for me in the form of the blades of walls
Form a box traps me, huddled
In it, whole time towards morning without
Managed to find a gap like the door was
Since childhood
"Stab the knife!" dad said
When I began to laugh with a mischievous
Imagining the moon began to blind
One of its eye
Mother's chest perfectly naked
And dad stay only one side of the walls
That continues melted
12/25/2012

Feburary 27th 2012 i lost the most important person in my life. Helen
I was at a goodwill, when i prayed to her that i would find a metallica shirt. I was then looking through the shirts and found two metallica shirts. I got them both. i started wondering if it was her, if she answered my prayer. A few days later i had a dream. She was standing in the window yelling down at me telling me she bought me something and it was on her bed in a bag. i told her how much i missed her and i went to go see what it was. i open the bag on the bed and see the two metallica shirts i had bought at that goodwill. i now know that she answered my prayer.
Another dream i had.
I had often wondered if she considered me a grandchild.. because im not realted to her by blood. I had a dream it was at her funeral. i seen her sitting in a chair next to me. my sister and some of her grandchildren were carrying her casket to the hurse. My sister fell and dropped the casket and several of her family members were yelling at her. Helen the women who these dreams are about sat and said she loved all her grandchildren even if there not blood related.
I believe Helen answers my questions in my dreams.

MUM ...
WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM
FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE
GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND
REGRET FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO SO ****ING MUCH ,
THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD
YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE
WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO
LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE
YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER ,
IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR
PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME ,
FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR
BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED
YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.
THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,
NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.
IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,
I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,
ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,
ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.
GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,
HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,
THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,
TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.
ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,
ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,
HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,
AND LEAD THE WAY,
FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....
I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND,
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me

Drops of rain, splash at my feet
Every time I see them I'm reminded of you
Always working so hard and true
Realizing that I held your heartbeat
Every now and then your smile would creep
Showing me the love that I knew
Truest form of compassion as I cooed
Growing up through the years
Rain would suddenly give me a fright
And this saddened me for many a day and night
Never had I experienced these type of fears
Don't you remember holding me and loving away my tears
Paw Paw I miss you so much now; you making those delicious hash brown bites
And although you're gone, I'll see you soon in Heavenly Sunlight
For the "Sonnet Man's Acrostic Challenge"
Written By R.M. Hunt
a.k.a Robert Matthew Hunt
Also I dedicate this poem to both my Grandparents
A.W. Hunt-"Buddy"
Howard Davis

We walk through the doorway, heard you calling from the hall
To find you in the bedroom not breathing at all
I drag your body to the cellar where we lay,
the wax it melts away,
I kiss your face...
Now we are starting to love you more,
your body's on the canvas,
That I painted on the floor
Now you wait,
like the drug,
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh,
now it hurts in the worst way,
now that you're gone,
its so wrong,
its so wrong....
If I could take you somewhere,
I'd take you to my darkest place,
scatter you in art forms, admire the whore,
beauty in different ways your hands on picture frames,
your eyes in the glass wear your face as a mask
Now they are starting to love you more,
a gallery of your beauty no charge at the door
As you wait,
like the drug,
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh,
now it hurts in the worst way,
now that your gone,
it's so wrong,
it's so wrong....
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes,
I lost control your face is pale,
your body's cold
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes,
I lost control your face is pale,
your body's cold
(face is pale your body's cold )
Wait, like the drug,
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, now it hurts in the worst way,
now that your gone,
it's so wrong,
it's so wrong...

She was just an old lady-
Brave and sweet and sad,
She was smart and she was quick
With eyes that didn't miss a lick.
She was my patient and my elder,
And she knew that this was it--
The end of a life well lived-
Six children raised and loved and fit.
Twelve grandchildren by her bedside
With tears of love and sorrow,
"If only we could borrow
A little more time" they cried.
She touched the hands that were extended,
Looked with pride and breathed a sigh,
"I'll always be near you because I love you"
She smiled and then she died.
The end of a life well lived
Six children raised and loved and fit.

This is the reason....
Dear mom,
We never got along..
And you know that...
We constantly argue and disagree..
You make me feel like im a disappointment..
You made me feel as if i was never good enough..
You never made it seemed it like you actually cared..
Dear Dad,
I know who you wanted me to be..
we used to not get along..
But now we do..
most of the time..
I know this is not who you want me to be..
I know this is not what you wanted me to do..
But i got no where to go..
You never seem to help..
Dear the rest of the family
I know you are there for me..
But your reactions to what i do...
I just dont think i could deal..
I dont think you could help...
And i know you wouldnt understand..
Dear Friends,
If i even dare call you that..
If you will care or not...
Even if you will notice...
I know some of you say your here for me..
But you dont understand..
I tried to tell one of you..
You just starred and wanted to tell everyone..
I am a human..
Im no different..
Im not some monster..
So i may be an outcast..
But does that really matter...
If only you could of helped me..
If only you didnt call me the names...
Dear everyone,
Im sorry..
Im sorry for being a disappointment..
Im sorry for letting you down..
So that is why i have decided to leave..
So everyone will be happy..
Have a great life everyone..

Aggravation waited.
Health always debated.
Material things created.
Mental capacity unstated.
History always elated.
Final breath is fated.
Future is overrated.
Partners never sated.
Love cannot be slated.
Compassion will be desecrated.
Desire falsely translated.
Life is overly stated.
From the day we are created.
While we are all interrelated,
We continually face each other abated
Awaiting our dignity to be dictated,
We fail each other blindly sedated.
If we are lucky we go through life conjugated.

Everyone's happy, drinking and eating,
Who would guess that inside I'm screaming,
I know what happens when daddy starts drinking,
The fighting and screaming ends in my beating,
I played and dressed as if all was okay,
Covering the bruises that never go away,
Although my hope and spirit never strayed,
I could only wish that his would've stayed,
Tears fall to the ground with a crash,
He's broken into his secret stash,
A night ending as usual; broken in my bed,
This time ending not in morning but death,
I loved you daddy, why can't you come play?

A Valentine's Day dedication for those who have lost a loved one.
I know you're watching from far away.
So I'll find the strength to kneel and pray,
and send you our love this Valentine's Day.
God gives me the power to understand,
that we can no longer hold your hand.
The sands of time pass graciously,
until we meet for eternity.
My unconditional emotion has no end.
Like the flowers in the spring and your spirit in the wind.
My hands are empty without you to hold.
My soul cries out alone in the cold.
My tears still fall and I wipe them away.
God gave me the strength to kneel and pray,
and send you our love this Valentine's Day.

Why should we live if we have
nothing to live for?
Why should we live if we have
nothing to die for?
Why should we live if
no one cares?
Why should we live if you're
loved by no one?
Why should we live if no
one likes you?
Why should we live if
no one loves you?
Each day is just a day
Each day is a day closer to death.
What's the point of living?
Some may say none,
Others may say why.
Why should we live?
Tell me and I will think about your answer.

A woman lost
Inside herself
All we ever wished for her
Was happiness and health
She tried so hard
To live a better life
Still all she felt inside
Was confusion, pain and strife
She was a sister and a friend
She was a daughter and a mother
She was a woman
Truly unlike any other
She had her problems
As we all do
But she was always persistant
Trying to push her way through
She lost her fight
After so many years
She will have no more heartache
She'll shed no more tears
A loving mother
And a dear friend
We all prayed for her
Until the very end
Until the end of time
May she be in our hearts
May we remember her beauty
Every time the sky parts
If everyone could have
Just half the heart as she
Imagine the world
That this could be
We all knew her as Diana
Some of us knew her as our Mother
From our loss of this wonderful person
Will truly be hard to recover
I sincerely hope
That in your eternal sleep
You, my dear sweet Mother
Have finally found your peace

For those who now wake up in Jerusalem
The remnants of your smiles remind our hearts to beat
The fragments of your memory urge us to go on
Traces of your strength stir us to conquer our fears
Pieces of your work inspire us to reach for our dreams
The relic of your confidence wipes away all doubt that we can't
Your lives, your love, and your faith in God, assures our souls that it will be ok,
that in time, it will all be ok.
See you in morn of the afterlife...where the joy is forever

pestilence restlessness sedatives
represent my main directives
presentment made me infected
selective systematic collective
medative hesitation effects my relevance
like hell needs a prince
never accept limits
convince me long since
i should repent
i never new what i was trying to attempt
i believed it was from hell i was sent
because once you get under my skin
you'll never tempt me again
Friendly enemy or foe
i don't not care at all no
Then into the monster i transform im a fellin
my exoskeleton is made from titanium dripped gelatin
Perfectly flexible cybernetic veins here my bellowing
im set to kill automatic tongue im never mellowing
i spit sparatic people lavish my tongue lashing hello n
goodbye nice to see you have a good time kill a fellow n
realize im a villain include chronic in my song im telling
you dog like wrestling im raw but bloody like saw your welting
from my manic pelting i keep it strapped above my belt im melting
My personification became like a puppeteer
i dangle on the strings of my sanity
and dance in the pale moon lite
its in my nature to believe i am something i am not
a look in the mirror is a trip into a place that has never
been seen before in the depths of my consciousness

*************************
Some-time's We live our life
We strive to proceed
Within-in the Body of Christ
But, When it's time to
Say our AMEN
------
Here come's the Devil
He pretends to be your friend
Now, He may be a brother
A sister or what have you
Just the same He is there
To comfort you,
-------
But, the first time that
You turn your back,
Here He is,
With the sneak attack....
The pleasure is all His
-------
Shall, I spend all my time
Suspended in Prayer
With the Devil,
Awaiting me at His layer
Fore,
He can never go there
Fore truth is in Prayer
-------
Oh', Shall I spend my time
Fighting the Devil,
He can reel you in,
And that next time We
See you, it would be at
The End of a shovel...
With dirt in your face
With the ground soon
To be leveled....
Eternity erased...
------
In less than an hour
Their will be may-be
A rain shower...
Or People with flower's
Fore this is the Devil's
Finest Hour...
-------
Six Feet Under
------
So, Yes, I rebuke Him
Any-time that He comes'
Near the Light.....
For the Lord to intercede
And kiss the Devil good night
--------
So, when the Devil come's
Dressed as a friend....
He trend's to deceive You
And act like a friend
But, don't let Him in
Fore He is just pretend
-------
He has been Deviling for years'
Invoked all kind of fear's
But, left to the imaginations'
He is just a cheap thrill
------
One fraught with tears'
And Fears
Of the promise's that were
Bestowed upon Thee,
The truth that was Yours'
Meant to last for the all of
Eternity....
-------
Those thing's bestowed by God
In the bid to set us Free
That was Our inherit Nance
At no cost to you and me
------
By God, Him-self....
-------
At the inception of creation
By the bind's of Eternity....
GF
**********Notes*********
When walking in the ways' of Christ, people will come into your life.
Some-times' they are long trusted friends. But, If they do things'
that are not on the level....Chances' are that they are doing the
work of the Devil....Take them to Heart, intercede them to the Light
When all is done...Thus, goes' the fight. Fore Jesus Christ, with all
His might....has again assured Us that He is the Light! GF

A rainstorm in the morning helps to wash away the night,
a rainbow seems to promise that this day will turn out right.
Our feathered friends all gathering in search of morning treat,
could anything go wrong today? Just look below your feet.
Wonderful for all who greet this frenzy with delight,
to watch the pretty birds catch worms, oh what a lovely sight!
For as the waters seeps below we worms rise one by one
and try to seek a ‘safer’ place dried by the morning sun.
Heavy rain is death to us, it creates a muddy sea
of sodden soil, a watery grave for those who can’t get free.
But terror hangs above our home as birds all flock around,
they know that we have got no choice, we’ll be their killing ground.
Before our heads have seen the light their beaks begin to tear,
they rip my family into shreds before they get ‘their’ air.
This feast is at our fatal cost, our numbers dwindle down,
if only we weren’t forced to rise from safety underground.
Today I was the lucky one, the one they never caught,
I’ll live to squirm another day alone with life and thought.
To live my days in solitude, to have no friends around,
and still to face the terrors of that ‘pitter patter’ sound.
So if you’re happy with your friends but feel that you are down,
unless you’re ‘forced’ to rise above the place that you have found,
it’s safer to accept your lot for sometimes you can’t see,
the place you struggle to achieve could leave you alone… like me.
Ivor G Davies.
(A Family Crisis?)

How about them times!
Some of them seem so goofy now,
But what fun it was.
How we laughed an laughed.
What’s missing now
Is your face
I was your ace.
Not a foot print
I wouldn’t trace.
Always wanted to be in your good grace.
Never to act in hast.
He would of never made it his place,
To judge you;
Is a lack of conversational taste.
The fact that I adore you is but one of my truths.
The way you shaped my views
Puts others to waste.
They have no clue
to what the world holds outside of there face.
I can help,
But I’m not the man you where Dad.
Sometimes I get so sad.
And for real even mad.
The world took the best person I ever had.

She sat upon the rocks of the golden shore,
hearing the waves of the ocean's roar.
She remembered a time when she was young,
before this cancer had taken her lung.
She sat there gazing out at the ocean,
thinking if her family's loving devotion.
She thought of her husband as her best friend,
hoping his heart would someday mend.
He fought the battle with her each day,
hoping this cancer would go away.
Her doctor told her I'm sorry there is no hope,
somehow she had managed to deal with it and cope.
The waves were choppy, the tide was high,
as she looked at the seagulls slowly fly by.
She felt at peace at this scene of nature,
as she somehow knew she would meet her maker.
The lighthouse was shining off in the distance,
as her body was fighting an agonizing resistance.
She went to the ocean to be closer to God,
for the cancer she was fighting she could not beat the odds.
An angel sat beside her to comfort her with all she endured,
Knowing when she went to Heaven she would be cured.
It was'nt long after she had passed away,
where the cancer no longer had ate her away.
Now she has the home she's always wanted,
where her body is no longer tired or taunted.
Her memory will always be etched in my mind,
In Heaven with God she will forever shine.

Christmas Day 2009,
I went to see my grandma for what I'm sure will be the last time,
I enter the code and into the door,
Into the lift to the second floor,
Past the T.V room and an eerie feeling tilted and odd,
The folks in Christmas hats are all on the nod,
The smell of a cheap roast n the stench of getting old,
And my grandma mumbles that the rooms too cold,
She wants to go for a walk but she doesn't know where,
She doesn't remember who I am...
It doesn't seem fair that she was once smart, feisty and bold,
Ive never, not once, thought I'll get that old..
Cant take it, Don't want to see it, the guilt, my grandma all alone,
She lost her mind, her bodies going and it all stated in an old peoples home.

Dear Lord
please receive me
i've been stumblin around
deceivin me
i wan't heaven now
how do I get that?
do I stop eatin meat
stop being me
How do I get to Heaven?
I NEEDS my mama
I need my Sons
My SUNS
I'm lyin
dyin
before everyones eyes

THE PAIN, THE CRIES, THE TRUTH,
THE LIES, PERPETUAL BLIS GONE AMISS:
HOPE LOST THEN RECOVERED.
SMALL DREAMS; NOW SMOTHERED, MEANING-
LESS FAITH BECOMES WRECKLESS HATE.
PAID FOR SINS NOT MY OWN,
DEBT GROWS DEEPER THAN THE UNKNOWN.
SEAS OF EUPHORIC VISIONS FLASH
BEFORE MY EYES.
THE JURY'S VERDICT CAME WITHOUT DELIBERATION;
NO TRIAL.
"GUILTY", UNANAMOUS DECISION.
DOWNWARD SPIRAL BEGINS AGAIN, REACHING
FOR THE PRESCRIBED STRENGTH; JUST TO MAKE
IT ONE MORE DAY.
RUSHED INTO REALITY, MY SPIRIT SOARS
WITH DUALITY.
ONE SIDE GOOD, CLEAN, WHOLESOME FUN.
ANOTHER SIDE CONSUMED BBY THE HATRED
CAUSED AND DONE.
WHICH SIDE SHALL IT BE, WHAT
SHALL I SEE, WHERE WILL I HIDE, WHO
CAN SEE PAST THE LIES, WHEN CAN I BREATHE.
HOW WILL I RECOVER, WHO WILL
CATCH ME WHEN I FALL OFF THIS
ROLLERCOASTER.
ALL THE TIME, NEVER NEW; SAME-OLD, SAME-OLD, HIDDEN IN TRUTHS.
BELIEVE IN NOTHING, HOPE FOR EVERYTHING,
TRUST TO BE FREE, WISH THERE WAS
SOMEONE WHO COULD SAVE ME...FROM ME.
TO LOVE ONLY ME, TO HOLD ONLY ME.
TO SEE MY FAMILY AND SEE ONLY ME.
SELFISHNESS HAS BECOME MY ANONYMITY.
SO FOR NOW I'LL HOLD DEAR,
WHAT ONCE WAS SO CLEAR.
MY FUNERAL SONG IS NOW BECOME MY
LIFE'S MISSION...TO FREE THIS PAIN...I
HOLD SO DEEP INSIDE...ME...GOODBYE

I've been detached from anyone, and specially life,
merely trying to survive on feeble hope,
dangling from this rough and steep rock;
I look above and another view transforms my strife.
I tried to be that invincible hero, helping others
ignoring myself and, most times, my indispensable needs;
putting others first, if they were part of my family...
as the truthful words of the Gospels brought perfect clarity.
On my last days, I'm trying to survive on feeble hope,
wishing that they wouldn't forget me when silence surrounds me,
when every delightful memory will make my throat chocke;
comfort me and assure me that there'll be a serene place awaiting me.
At times, I was overtaken by anger, shouting to bring peace
to an incident of jealousy, or an act of mischievousness;
forgive me for my behavior, and you may have called me a square,
an almost senile old man...being ridiculed for his bad manner.
Now, your age is void of knowledge, of the wisdom I still seek,
perhaps your intentions are naive and harmless;
I understand how bizarre it can be when youth is at its highest peak:
disregarding wise words that can correct your whims.
In dire and discontent, I'm trying to survive on feeble hope,
and my mission is almost complete: from a prophesied birth...
to an unannounced death, unless everyone awakens and realizes my hurt;
but if my conscience is righteous and pure, wouldn't Heaven pull up my rope?

I know my son was inside with their dogs
And women dressed in uniforms who held
Their sharpened knives and made my son undress.
This is the way Americans fight war.
Confusing thoughts enter my mind
Combined with anger, sadness. ****.
The Lord, is my child to die?
If it is your will, please end him.
How could the Lord let this happen?
My sweet poor boy and his humility
He is nothing but a toy to women.
This is the way Americans fight war.
My family weeps for my son.
My country prays for their own sons.
-Caroline Youngless

THE UNDERSTANDING
[ The identity of my father's grandfather and his resting place was unknown to
him until one day the secret was literally unearthed in Charleville . ]
The secret of your resting place
Lay hid for many years,
Yet now the secret is revealed,
To me it has brought tears.
From Melbourne town you did set out
In eighteen ninety-eight,
And tramped your way through New South Wales,
Up to the Queensland state.
A country girl she took your heart
You made that lass your wife,
Then raised a fam'ly best you could,
'Til fate did touch your life.
Yes four young sons she bore to you
Young lads you'd both adore,
Though in the year nineteen o six,
A daughter was in store.
But tragedy would mar your joy
The birth too much that day.
Her health had not been as it should,
And life, then slipped away.
A heavy load was thrown on you
Those little souls to rear,
Though seemingly it proved too much,
Without your darling near. The years were tough and work was scarce,
But try you really did.
To make it worse grief lingered on,
Your hurt could not be hid.
Some think that drink will kill the pain
Depression though takes hold.
'Til finally in nineteen twelve,
You took your life so cold.
Tormented minds do not give thought
Of loved ones left behind.
You left them orphaned and confused,
Their lives left in a bind.
The human soul though can survive
No good to sit and moan.
Your sons and daughter struggled on,
Raised families of their own.
This history was lost it seemed
For many a long year,
And memories of who you were,
Had dried up too I fear.
For where your soul was laid to rest
That secret it was yours.
'Til digging poor old Creevy's grave,
Unlocked the secret's doors.
The digging would reveal to all
Just where you fin'ly lay,
A plaque upon the wooden lid,
Your name there did display.
Granddad those times did not allow
The life you may have planned,
I missed the years we might have shared,
But now I understand.

Today is the one year anniversary
since you have left us
you are always loved
and we miss you very much
I can't believe you are gone
it is like a nightmare
and I can't wake up
I wait by the phone
just waiting for you to call
but I realize you are not calling
I miss you grandma.

Man to blame,
Once again to his shame,
His record continues to destroy !
The beauty he did not create, nor can he save…
He will never learn how to properly behave…
Nature screams pointlessly once again ?
Fearing where next we’ll drill ?
Gulf oil spill.

Would I rather go too slow,
Damp breath feeding the soil,
worms to grow, an
old mans toil.
For me the answer is clear;
Though not today and I hope not here –
To explode with love and feelings gold –
Not too young and not too old
Wise enough to see my growth
But not old enough to have outgrown
My sprit,
Fun,
this place called home
That’s how to die
A confetti of flesh ruptures the Sky.
Feeding the air, water and earth.
Why you ask do I care how I die –
My love, that is the whole reason -
We’re here
to ask why.

You weren't a saint but you were extremely close.
Out of all of the people on Earth, I've always loved you the most.
It will be very painful as they lower you into the ground.
Life will never be the same because you're no longer around.
You were a wonderful human being and a terrific mother too.
Your family and friends will always love you.
You were so sweet and kind that you should've been given a humanitarian award.
The people in Heaven are happy because you're there and so is the Lord.
You're in a better place and that makes your friends and family glad.
But as people see the tears rolling down my cheeks, they know that I'm so sad.
You were one fantastic lady, you were truly one of a kind.
Knowing that Heaven is your new home gives us peace of mind.
From time to time I wasn't the ideal son and that's something I regret.
You gave me life, love and happiness and that's something I'll never forget.
It hurts very much because you are deceased.
Everybody loves you Mom, may you rest in peace.
(Dedicated to Agnes Johnson who passed away March 6, 2013.) (1948-2013)

We are not aware of what we are capable of
nor whether if it's wrong or right.
We sometimes have the will and might
and many of us will stand up and fight.
To show courage and strength
takes determination and motivation.
Wait.....
What am I talking about?
We cheat, we lie, and make mistakes.
We're not perfect in any way.
We weren't made to live forever
but made to live and wilt away.
We suffer through pain and it's hardships
And even sometimes experience love.
Yes, I've had thoughts of suicide
so I can fade away.
Realizing I had issues...
I didn't care.
I've always known who I was inside
and never gave up.
I'm no philosopher like Socrates
nor do I have a college degree.
But I was raised to be somebody in this world
even if I'm going to fail countless times.
Enough about me.
Lets talk about the human race.
We will get up when knocked down.
We will fight for people we love.
We will live life like it's our last.
We will love ourselves for who we are.
We are only human.
Our imperfections is what makes us perfect.
Therefore, we are perfect in our own little way.

Midnight Cries
In midnight skies the cries of love drift off to sleep in endless love.
For he who heard them.
Sent them hope, that God created a world for them.
For us to see and bare good times.
For no more hurt and devishlish crimes.
For the earth which once was good.
Is soured and torn.
There are no morals or dreams no more.
Or hope of good things when suffering soars.
For they are crushed by his vast sword.
For he who has the greater sin.
He has carried and been burdened with.
He has been forgotten.
In times like these.
Because people hearts bleed with disease.
For they have burdened him with more sin.
They have forgotten the pain he is in.
For he so carried his cross with pride.
A younge man who was destined to die.
No matter what the world does think.
This man did live before we did.
We have lost our way in darkened times.
Like lost sheep we have roamed, away from him.
If youd only listen and help to carry his cross.
Take the blame for things done past.
Change our ways for hope to last.
We wont do that out of pride.
When he is denied.
I feel for him.
I pick his cross up and help him off the ground.
For he is my brother.
Who I have found.
He has carried that cross.
No man deserved his life in such a lose.
Tormented and torturded to no extent.
He didnt look like a mere man in the end.
He coutinued to stand even after he fell.
Showing me the strength of Heaven and hell.
For a man so strong, so bold and kind.
Showed me what we can do as man kind.
He gave his life for everyone who reads this.
For those who can not see.
Do not be blind
Find this man, for he needs you.
He gave his life to save you.
With your help, you raise his cross.
You heal that burden of love.
That has been lost.
Ease his pain and find your way.
For Heaven is a start and hell is a step away.

Last week my wife and I had to put
our Lab Chow mix down. For thirteen
years he was our friend and loyal companion.
As they injected the drug my wife comforted
him and told him that it would be ok to just
go to sleep. The thought of the scene she
described overwhelmed me and I started
to weep for the pain was deep with-in.
My wife came home to comfort me for she
is much stronger than I when it comes to loss,
then we comforted each other for we are one
in the eyes of God.
I started to reflect on the sacrifice that God
made by sending his Son to bear the pain
and burden of our sin. The strength and self
sacrifice, love and compassion of that single
act is so amazing that it overwhelmed me and
the tears of revelation softened my soul.
In that revelation I gained the knowledge
that sacrifice and loss is what opens the
doorway that leads to compassion.
We miss our dear friend but do believe he
now lives in a place free of all the pain
and suffering.
We do believe that anything created by God
that shares so much of the heart will no doubt
live forever in our soul making him a part of our
spiritual existence and a example of the words
love, companion and friend.
We love you Rebel.

O Nadine,
death has momentarily
revealed its face.
Thy name shall ne'er go in vain.
Yea, thou prepareth for a
journey of splendor and grace.
O he Lord
hath laid a destine path for thee
leading unto a divinely,
heavenly, serenely kind of place.
For thou art a
flawless redest rose and the
heavens be thy vase.

LETTER TO A SORE BROTHER, BEAUTIFUL SISTER (DEDICATED TO MY BROTHER’S AND SISTER’S LOVE)
Early jungle makes me a desire
To be alone in the belly of our dear beautiful mother
Because our growing up is such and irony
Which made me rejoiced each moment this time
That wishes were never allowed to be rose
For men of wrong mind to buy
There in my childhood irony moment
We fought as if it is created share hatred
We wish for all except one that pays a little pain
For i held back from all
As all held back from me and other all
Indeed, people taught that our life is a share pain
A sore injury to the world of love
Because i loved each moment my brother bleed from our father’s hell
I went behind the scene to celebrate my goal
kindly, the moment is always become
As i happily shun and damn the future
... who did you think you are with my future
I sometimes ignorantly murmur as a child
In my little kingdom emptiness, i rejoice in the brothers pain
A little hatred of thee, a more love of me
I love each time i am loved alone
To hate thee by my blood and cause sheepishly i became and honour
As this irony grows into something still ironic
I wish my pain could allow my pen speak plain
To cry such an awesome deep and sore blood
At each moment the rain of thee bath me thoroughly
To see thee share all to have me clothed
To borrow from the enemy to have me homed
even to lose all from the gods to make sure that i have all from the goddess
The brother even stole to have me meal
More like the blood and doing of the mother, it shared abroad
As brothers all lie to have me protected
Much illiterate to make me the literate king
Oh bleed me death less i say this pain of love
Sisters risk of the night, the horror evil men to see a smile in this lips of mine
That i wish never remember the selfish boyhoodness
Ay! How i see my brother’s cry in his desolation
Not for him or for his little joy
But for the pain of a dear brother
To save all only to loose all to life a brother
Its pain of the ugly moment in a close death
It was determined and death paid of thee
But the brother and sister’s coming death
Woke brothers will up, sisters ghost down
I need to save my brother
Leave my life to save my brother
And take it once his breath is back
There the sacrifice of a dear brother made me desire
Never a child as this in my next world
Because you are a brother, a beautiful brother
A sister, very handsome sister that i hold dearest to my breath
And love dearest to my heart beat

Letter to Mum and Dad
Dear Mum, Dear Dad, you're gone from my life.
I remember you now as a good husband and wife.
Dad, I saw you lay there. Lifeless, quite still.
The shocks that they gave you, zapped at my will.
When I touched you, your body, still warm, lips blue.
A far cry from the father, the man I once knew.
Your cheeks in contrast, stood out, quite bold.
Your hand I touched. That memory I hold.
Mum, I never saw you, when you passed away.
You were alone in your bed, so it's for you that I pray.
I remember you most, for the love that you gave me.
Always caring, never judging, I wished I could save thee.
Now that you're gone, I don't feel alone.
You're the best parents in life, this child could have known.
So it's with you in memory, my life has begun.
I remain as always, your ever loving son.

I saw my wife tonight
She was on my brother
with the words...no... letters...
abbreviation of some college
plastered on him
she kept him warm
like she did with me
hugging the curves of his
body
he held her closely
appreciative
her softness unspeakable
caressing him
He smiles
looking at me
breathing her into him
as I did her
"Thanks bro..."
I smiled back
Admiring her on him
"No problem...it's cold out"
Author's Note...inspired by a scene in a movie

Your Spirit Lives on!
Haunted by the death of one that was so young.
Taken by the hands of someone very strong.
In my mind I wonder- exactly what took place?
As I see bruises on the body and a thumb print on the face.
That awful sound I heard as CPR I began.
Comes rushing to my mind
time and time again.
Haunted by that night is embedded within my head.
While looking at a child- who is now dead.
Your Spirit lives on-
in the family
while looking for answers
causes my heart to weep!
A True event I lived on Nov. 7-2007

I do miss them everyday,
To state the facts
I know ill never get them back,
Sleep that's what I lack
In
Conversational
Understandings
We got each other,
because they where just- that- smart
A want to interact,
with us,
as equals,
but we where aware,
they where parents.
This,
Absolutely okay.
The vision may be myopic,
but I will never,
blame them.
For being naive

Father dear father
Copartner in my life
flesh of my flesh
bone of my bones
alpha adam ancestor
Daddy growing up
you’re my hero
my idol my mentor
i look to you for strength
Papa why do you drink
why are you so angry
why do you hate
why the shame
Pop following in your footsteps
i am a drunk too
why do i do what I hate
so much like you
Papa we are getting older
you are close to death
too late too soon
to know what i know
Dad many years gone
i still miss you
I know now You
Loved Me
Love, your son …

I was there when no one died
The funeral was grave and gray
He was buried alongside
An empty coffin; a parade of solitude
Was held in place to say goodbye
To the man who never was
Not many attended that funeral
Guess he wasn’t quite the guy
Even the priest had called in sick
Only rains and empty skies
Had come to say goodbye
To the man who never was
There is a certain loneliness
In the death of nothingness
How can we be sure that we
Didn’t just walk right by it
How can we be sure that we
Aren’t missing something
There is a certain blindness
In the death of nothingness
And an eerie darkness
In the birth of knowledge
A gnawing fear we choose
To dismiss but never lose
But dawning near is the time
When once again nothing dies
And we realize that we
Know nothing at all.
They didn’t even bother to
Throw the dirt back into the grave
Cover the coffin and the corpse
A simple hole, soaking wet
No one comes to say goodbye
To the man who never was
I shall leave as if I never came
And on my lonely walk back home
Mutter a silent prayer, goodbye
To the man who never was
Hope that I never become
The kind of man my father was

Did you feel the light breeze just now
Just at the back of your neck
Did you hear him whisper today
Did you think of him today
when you touched something that was his
Did you hear him whisper today
Did you do something today
That made you think of him
Did you hear him whisper today
Did you laugh today and think of him
was he there guiding you when you worked
Did you hear him whisper today
Did you speak to your child today
the way he spoke to you
Did you hear him whisper today
For my dad. By Kate Mcnaughton

Teardrops falling like a waterfall
Down the river they go
Flowing rapidly creating a rough ride
As sadness rushes to my mind
All I could think of is all the good times we had
Running in our backyard,
Riding the waves of the beach
Oh what will I do just to smile with you
Now that you are gone
The memories will be like knives
Stabbing into my skin
You are such nice person to be around
Probably the greatest in the world
I,m so sorry you must go
Can't help but blame myself
But I know you rather have me happy
As my last teardrop falls
I will forget you my precious Roxanne

Walking around the graveyard
Untaggling his hands from the pocket in his jacket
its clear in his head that he's screaming for something
that something is missing within his heart
Taking off his hat as he sits it on her grave
Pulling out a piece of paper
The death certificate that her name was signed on
a tear falling from his cheek
he reaches down to pick up the flower he laid there before
crumples at his touch
sitting down the piece of paper
he asked her
how can i love?
when the one i want is not here?
tears fall from his eyes unto the paper
he lights a candle
sits it by her tombstone
He lays down beside her
listening to the wind
hoping to hear her voice
something he longed for
something that he was missing
he falls asleep
holding the stem of the rose that crumpled before
The pedals fly away with the wind
and the flame of the candle burns out
the rain starts to fall
He lays with his eyes closed
He goes back in time
The rose pedals fall back unto the stem
The paper flies back into his pocket
He walks back into town
Back into the house he was at before
Back at her funeral
to the hospital they were at
When they found out she had cancer
To the church where they got married
To the time when he asked her to marry him
Finally to the place where they met
There story replays again in his mind
he lays cold on the ground beside her
The wind dies down
and the candle starts burning again

A prayer for those who are in dispair along the Gulf Coast due to the BP Deepwater Horizon
oil rig explosion. A prayer for those who waited and their loved ones did not return, Amazing
Grace Wash Over Thee.
Amazing grace wash over me.
My tears are a river to the sea.
Lord above, we know you know,
the oil that is washing upon our coast.
Amazing grace wash over me,
and lift my soul up to Thee.
Lord above, hear my prayer,
for those who are in dispair.
Amazing grace wash over me.
I lift my hands to God you see.
My prayer for those who were hurt,
and those who will never return to earth.
Amazing grace wash over thee,
families were left in disbelief.
Empty hands, their loved ones gone,
Lord Jesus, guide them safely Home.
Amazing grace wash over me,
the oil is filling up the sea,
from Louisiana to Mississippi.
Animals are dying,
and people are crying.
Amazing grace wash over me.

A busted boys heart
Beaten black and blue
His bloody hands pray for help
A cowering child
Shaking by the door
Lowers his head and wonders if anyone can help
A woman in fear
She knows her husband will be home
She speaks to the wall that broke her face if anyone will hear her cries for help
“Homo” they say
They want you to hear
Don't feel your pain
They are oh so full of cheer
They will think you're funny
The coolest guy around
All the girls would want you
All hands down
Mommy his blue eyes plead
I won't do it again
But you see
She doesn't care
It's not you it's me
Raise that hand again
You will feel relieved
That child loves you
Set him free
She stands with her head held high
Hands deep in suds with her face prettied up
She thinks he will be pleased
He stumbles through the door screaming
“What the hell are these?!”
He refers to the flowers in the vase by the door
“Your son picked those for me
It's mother's day you know”
“Your no mother you're a whore”
Do you think this is okay?
You're all making mistakes
People should love people not mean harm in any way
Everyone is different
All in their own special way
You may like men or women or both and it's okay!
You're a sweet young boy
Your mother does love you she just can't show it in the right way
The spouse who brings home hate doesn't mean the pain
He may throw you into walls and bash your face
But it's not your fault, I swear it's true
The people who bring sorrow need help not you

A discussion on the round,
But it knows, it doesn't have to sound,
For, it is blamed for a crime it never meant to commit,
It's work was to bring smiles,and so it never did quit.
For seasons pass, it remains at halt,
It's passiveness after that though, is not actually it's fault,
But few seasons are such,
Which make it run,
Forever and ever,it's never done.
Runs fast, never worries of speed,
Someone else would nastily bleed,
Coz, it obeys, and changes speeds in seconds
It's our finger tips on which it reckons.
Three hands and a grip so tight,
With content the family bids good night,
But, their trust lies with the tough material it is made of,
For once if it loses the grip, it could break someone's head off…. ;)

Maybe this isnt something to say
to someone like you
someone i could never be
something i dont want anyone to see
so ill hold it in
until i explode
hold me now
im standing on the edge of
the bridge
nothing to hold on to
I only want someone to save me
but how can you if your blind
and you cannot see the dangers around you
so you keep them until they get so close
to your face and finally explode
then you see
hold me now
cause im already 6 feet into the ground

Don’t put your Dad in a home kids
It isn’t a nice place to be
The people are old, the foods always cold
And everyone smells of stale pee
Don’t put your Dad in a home kids
You know that it wouldn’t be fair
They feed you alright and watch through the night
But you know that they don’t really care
So don’t put your Dad in a home kids
It is not where he’d like to expire
Just let him stay till he goes on his way
With his slippers in front of the fire

We can make a difference
We can wallow in the feat
Where all souls meet
At the foot of the world by which to greet
In bitter silence to its door chime ring,
One can easily take heart or to what would sing;
From shadows glook of its tormented swoon
It would be at the addage of its peril
A safe place to emancipate,
The soul was erected by pious chimes;
In tombs tortured with flagrant rhymes/ Through a misfortune illumined amidst/ Shattered glass stained by bias accalades/ We can make a difference/ Fresh out of our store bought routine/ Out of curtains unleashed to swallow/ The world is filled with ghosts & demons/ Shaped by the imaginative solace screaming/ We can make a difference/ The trunk on the trees on which all branches grow/ The pen on the ink to make messages flow/We can make a difference/ With parts uncertain yet attainable/ Create/ The notion of a bridge of hope/ It's gap loosens for passengers to cross/ Reason must be supplimented by our creative imaginative & faith/ Reason is itself an act of faith!
Totals 28 lines/ 182 Word Count

*Dramatic Monologue*
It was a normal Thursday. I went to school, and was on my way home. But on the
way, Adam, the guy I've been crushing on forever stopped to talk with me and he actually asked me to go to a movie tomorrow night, I accepted of course. I got in my car and drove home. When I walked up to the front door, it was open. My dad never leaves the door open. I walked in and called out, "Dad! Dad!" No answer. Then I look and on the couch I see my dad, lying there with three gun shots in his head, covered in blood.
Almost too weak to walk, I then see my mother on the floor with a gunshot to the chest, also covered,covered in blood. Crying hysterically I went into my brother's room
hoping he wouldn't be there. (He stayed home from school today because he was sick)
But he was. He was there. And he looked just like my parents, expect he was shot the
most. *Cries for a bit, then gathers herself together* Twelve times. TWELVE TIMES.
Who would do this?! Who would do this to me?! To my family?! Why didn't I die with my
family?! Why was I spared?! I shouldn't have talked to Adam. I shouldn't have. Why did
I do that?! *Cries again, then a pause and continues* After that I was never the same.
I was a different person. A different being. Because that was the day that changed my
life.

I fall into unknown reasons
I lay wanting,needing
Convolution,soul sucked dry
Aphasia,alone within
A battered shell,augmental decay
Life slowly passes away
Debilitated to my dismay
An accidental tragedy has
lost the lives of many
Contumaciosly
The musk from last nights indulgence
still lingers and it accuses me
I have debased the family tree
Through my lost cognizance
The pain others must breath
Censoring all relations
A dissaproval of my being
The air as thick as sulpher
A cyanosis of the soul
I'm left alive to face it all
Retribution paid in full!!!

My Eulogy
Life has been so good to me, but like everything else,nothing last forever
My time is up on earth with you
As much as I going to miss you ,I must go
But,before I leave let me say my farewells
Mama,Thank you for always being there for me
Daddy, thank you for always providing for me
I didn’t always show my appreciating while living
but don’t every for a second think that I
Wasn’t appreciative.
John, my only brother who I loved and let got
Away with so much because in my eyes you could
Do no wrong. I watch you grew up from a baby
To the person you are today… As I watch you grow over the
Years I felt proud because you end up turning out to be great.
Shawn you and Liz have been my right hand girls since
The day I met you both and over the years boy,god has watch
Us grew. You both showed me how real friends suppose to act
You two are the only friends who I knew that always
had my back
Timothy, you have brought out the best in me.
You showed me how to love and be free
My smile you brought that out of me
I can really say you were put on earth for me
I’ll miss you and love you in the sky because the type of
Love we shared you always be my guy.
To the rest of my family thank you for being just that,
family
Who has always been by my side…
My farewells are over my body and soul is tried
But before I go I must ask for one last thing
Please no one cry over my name,be happy
That I lived be happy that I’m free
just be Happy because you were bless to even get a chance to know me…
..

A DAY IN JUNE
A day in June,clouds white,sun bright.
What to do on a lonely dark day.
Why is it lonely? Only I can say.
When the lord took my mom and sister away.
It's a funny thing it was'nt yesterday,and it was'nt today.
But, the hurt in our hearts never,never goes away.
We look in the sky and we wonder “what they are doing?”
Singing, laughing, cooking ,sewing?
Just like we used to do when they were here.
But now each day seems like a year.
Our memories are like no others ,
when you had the greatest sister and mother.
Their kindness and love was above and beyond,
and the sweet faces that said " you are where you belong."
We manage to make it threw everyday.
And hope in time the hurt goes away.
We miss them more than we can say
And every day seem dark and gray.
Be happy,not sad and no regrets.
You must go on and do your best,
These are the words our mom left,
Before we had to lay her to rest.
We try so hard to honor her words,
We look at nature the birds and the trees.
We look at the tall grass the flowers the bees.
They just don’t seem to look the same way
When the ones who loved them the most ,are suddenly gone away.
We would love to see them for just one more minute
Even though we know our time would have a limit.
Just for one second, time for a kiss
To let them know just how much they are missed.
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!!!
Written By Betty Hebert June 28, 2014

If I had known how much I would
Have missed her when she left,
I would have thought of deaths embrace
As robbery or theft.
If I had known how much I would
Have missed her when she died,
I would have prayed dear Jesus please
Take me, but I just cried.
WHY DID SHE HAVE TO LEAVE ME!
WHY DID SHE HAVE TO GO!
WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE MY LORD!
WHY I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!
She died so very suddenly
We did not have much time,
Though from the very day we met
I knew she would be mine.
I loved her yes with all my heart
I prayed for her in life,
I prayed each day she would be blessed
I prayed she'd be my wife.
So lovely,tender,pure and free
I treasured all her love
She stored up for only me
This lady, was my dove.
Now I am left to wonder God.
Now I am left to pine.
Why did she die first Lord
Now when will come my time.
For fifty years in marriage
Our hearts did intertwine.
She now has left to meet you God.
So very little time.

Mother, Missing You
Mother, it's been so long
Since I've known
Your loving arms around me
A sweeter hand to hold
Unto moments utter still
Open eye and drying tear
Swept silent under strains
From ever slipping here
It's the pain that finds you
If I look upon any everywhere
Whispering inward out
“Will the little boy ever disappear?”
In that every then and now
I laugh myself to sorrowness
Because of your echoes, hearken
Deep within to bitterness
Mother, in missing you
I'm not that strong
I wish it wasn't me
Or you, that I'd found
All those years ago
Never answers or reasons, “Why?”
I tried to tell you many times
But, I never had a chance to say...
Goodbye
By Michael G. Smith

MY STORY IS LONG AND OH SO SAD
HEROIN WAS HIS TRUE DEMISE
HE WORKED VERY LITTLE BUT THE FACT
IS KNOWN, HEROIN WAS THE CHOICE FOR
NOT ALCHOHOL ALONE
HE WAS A GOOD PERSON REALLY HE WAS
FOR HELPING OTHERS HE TRIED TO DO
HE WAS A POOR SOUL, THAT HAD LOST HIS WAY
WHAT A SHAME HE HAD SO MUCH PAIN
REMEMBERING BRUCE WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP
HIS HEART WAS GOOD AND HE HAD SO MUCH
A HOME, A CAR AND PARENTS WHO CARED
BUT THE DRUGS WON HIM OVER, HIS POOR SOUL IN NEED
HE DID TAKE MONEY AND STOLE THINGS, FROM THE FAMILY MY
DAD OH WHAT A MESS IT WAS TO HAVE BEEN FOR HIM
HE DIED ON MEMORIAL DAY 2003, LET US REMEMBER THAT OTHERS
ARE AT RISK AND I WAS TO TELL THE STORY OF BRUCE LIKE HE WANTED
TO INSTRUCT OTHERS TO BE OFF THIS HORRIBLE TRAIN
THE TRAIN THAT LED HIM TO SELF DESTRUCT,
BUT THE WONDERFUL
THING ABOUT MY BROTHER BRUCE
HIS KIND HEART AND SOUL WAS THE THING HE TRULY HAD THE MOST OF
WHAT A WASTE OF A HUMAN BEING WHO KNEW, THE HEARTACHE AND PAIN OF THE
DRUG CALLED HEROIN

ZACH
Let me take away your heartache,
Let me bear your unbound pain.
For I don't want you going through,
All that suffering again.
On the worst day of my life thus far,
We were standing side by side.
When we took our boy to hospital,
From Meningitis, there he died.
The pain I felt in my grieving heart,
I have never felt before.
I know those doctors tried to help,
And they could have done no more.
On the morning of Zach's funeral,
With a tear in my eye.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done,
As I bade our son goodbye.
To have your child die in your arms,
And there's nothing you can do.
Is the hardest test this world can give,
But his love will see us through.
So heavenly Father I ask of you,
Don't cast my Son aside.
For that young lad who we love so dear,
I now give to you with pride.

Every day, every where,
Lives are lost it’s never fair.
You don’t know the numbers,
Most haven’t felt the pain,
Death is no doubt the all time mental strain.
Whether it’s a dog, cat, family member, or friend,
Most don’t know for sure when their life will end.
Elementary school were the hardest years,
I ended 5th grade with 5 times the tears.
Death shouldn’t be joyful, it shouldn’t be funny,
When a friend dies, my day is anything but sunny.
When a family member or friend dies my heart starts to sink,
What were the last words I said, I start to think.
As I take a walk down memory lane,
I start feeling all the emotional pain.
You may ask why I’m writing a poem about death,
For all I know this could be my last breath.

A gloomy sky choked back the Sun
No one spoke on this day of mourning
Silently, gravely, sadly, painfully
This group marches on
The procession stops short
At the sound of a piercing whistle
But quietly my mother's lips began to tremble
The day continued dark and gray
My heart once so light
Darkened that day
I stood as tall as a six-year old could
And placed a rose in my grandmother's hand
She was so still, no longer breathing
Without meaning to she stirred a feelilng
Softly the tears came
Trailing down my face
Then they fell like a torrent after a rain
My eyes became shadowed and my heart cracked
Holding my mother's hand
I never went back
To this day something has changed
I wear a mask of happiness
But inside myself I am slowly dying
I hide the pain and lock it deep
I lie awake at Night begging to sleep
All I want is to hear her laughter again
But God holds her tenderly
In His precious holy hand

Floundering the frozen shoal an endangered diez,
a sturgeon realizes his family few
and sets upon a journey new.
The sturgeon swims afar the shallow edge of the frozen pond.
The sturgeon swims til his eyes, assault an image swimming by.
The first silhouette, reunited with it's breath;
a catfish the color of ocean sand.
The catfish asks:"Have you seen my family?"
The sturgeon asks the same;
the both of them go on their way.
They swim into the deepest ice, looking for a single clue,
to find the whereabouts;
of their family few.
They swim until their eyes, assault an image swimming by.
An image wretch in shadow, moving at a desperate pace.
A flat and nimble stingray
whose tears have stained his face.
The stingray asks:"Have you seen my family?"
The sturgeon asks the same,
the catfish asks the same,
the three of them go on their way.
They swim into the deepest ice, looking for a single clue,
to find the whereabouts;
of their family few.
They swim into a shallow patch, where sunlight gleams the mist;
the three acquaintances see a shape sweep swiftly through their midst.
Suddenly they cannot move, restrained in means so cramped,
their breath begotten rather short, their gills in pain a gasped.
They ventured far to find their kin,
they ventured far to find the truth,
they lay amongst their loved ones blue;
their eyes fogged over
in the barren river,
devoid of life;
they are extinct,
they have no tomb;
...only rapture.

they helped to look for little Caylee,
in rugged woods, muddy lakes and ditches
endless days and nights, thousands searched
everywhere by foot, car, boat and air
in rugged woods, muddy lakes and ditches,
they tirelessly looked for signs of her--
everywhere by foot, car, boat and air;
hoping she had survived any danger
they tirelessly looked for signs of her,
while Caylee's family pleaded for her return,
hoping she had survived any danger--
until her mother confessed she had drown
while Caylee's family pleaded for her return,
endless days and nights, thousands searched;
until her mother confessed she had drown,
they helped to look for little Caylee
*FOR Pantoum CONTEST

Today marks seven years you had to go.
Your journey here was a tough tow.
To better things the other side.
You've left me feeling really lost.
But the memories are never tossed.
Even though you're in a better place.
That don't stop the tears rolling down my face.
You were my buddy, my pal, my friend.
Most of all you were my brother that held my hand.
RIP I love you always!

------
Intervention on the Faith'
Of the Lord
Fore
He will deliver Thee
When thing's
Get kind of Hard
Yes, their are many Days'
Where life just falls' apart
Those' are the day's where
We can do nothing but Pray
----But, it is so Sworn
That by the Blood
And Testimony in Jesus'
That He Shall carry
The Day'
------
Just be very Still
And let him show you
The way'
A divine intervention
On the side of Faith
GF

When I left this world without you,
I knew it made you blue.
Your tears fell so freely,
I watched; I know this is true.
While you were weeping,
Days after I passed away.
While all was silent within me,
I saw you kneel to pray.
From this wonderful place called heaven,
Where all my pain is gone.
I send a gentle breeze to whisper,
"My loved ones, please go on."
The peace that I have found here,
Goes far beyond compare.
No rain, No clouds, No suffering-
Just LOVE from everywhere.
You need not to be troubled,
Just stay close to God in prayer.
Someday we'll be reunited,
My love, HIS love surrounds, you always, and forever.
(please rate and comment this im competing for the contest)

Man strives throughout his life, to gain affliction,
He is a warrior, for his life, not for the nation.
Since birth, he attempts to win positions,
This marks his ambitions to make collision.
Since the very day he takes birth,
Has to struggle, making life worth.
When an infant, he began to observe,
As he grows, life takes curve.
Arriving to youth, steps up to progress,
With his ammunitions, struggles for desired bliss.
Arising towards his goal never looks back,
Stalking his dream, for success, he never gets slack.
As the warrior grows old, he drops arm,
Retired soldier gets pension as acquired charm.
As death draws its curtains, he tell,
Not to conquer, but to fight well.

[dedicated to my grandpa - forever in my heart]
A special pair of angel wings
Were handed out today
He left this world and flew to Jesus
Forever there to stay
He was a man of honor
A gentleman was he
The life he lived was testimony
For all the world to see
A husband and a father
Grandfather and friend
He'd have given all for his family
And loved them to the end
The tears we cry are not for him
We know the place he's gone
There's no more pain and no more tears
As he sings the angels song
We have many a fond memory
The joy he brought was great
But now he sits at the feet of Jesus
Where he'll watch for us and wait
Yes, a special pair of angel wings
Were handed out today
He left this world and flew to Jesus
Forever there to stay

It’s hard to describe what you meant to us
But that won’t stop me from trying
Unafraid, you spoke great truths
Although you did your share of lying
But we’ve all made our mistakes
Your atonement made you wise
And your purest heart of hearts
Made it harder for goodbyes
You were far from being perfect
With your perfectly human flaws
But that added to your beauty
And fueled your righteous cause
With strength and endurance, you paid your dues
Lived your life both proud and humble
Always there for those you loved
To mend the pieces that would crumble
Although branded a black sheep
Shunned by flock and your own mother
Know you graced us with your presence
And a spirit like no other
Now you watch us from above
Guiding us through each mountain climb
Giving us hope that we will see you
When God calls and it’s our time
So until we meet again on that fateful day
Black Angel, spread those wings
We’ll cherish your sweet memory
And all the love it brings
To my beloved Grandmother, Diana, RIP
Love, Marilyn

They said I was young, they said I was foolish
As I made many mistakes of all types
They misunderstood; I was taking those risks
To find some purpose in my life
They said I was strong for succeeding in life
And never being mentally frail
They misunderstood; I worked my hardest
To make sure I would never fail
They said I was foolish for trying to win you over,
For thinking a chance with you was even true
They misunderstood; I could never ignore
The beauty God had given to you
They said it was amazing, despite all the turmoil
We had made it for so long
They misunderstood; for us it was as easy
As discerning right from wrong
They called me caring, loving, and charming
And being the best husband there could be
They misunderstood; I was just trying to give back
The love you had bestowed onto me
They called me lost, deranged, insane
That I was living the epitome of a lie
They misunderstood; I was just in denial
That you had left my life and died
They called me pitiful for weeping at the funeral
For not being able to stay through it all
They misunderstood; I wanted you alive
I wish I had taken the fall
They said I was crazy for jumping off that building
At the age of thirty seven
They misunderstood; I was trying to get to you
So we could be together again in heaven

When we are rendered alone
And don't know where we should go
We new to overcome
The forces who drag us under
Some will persist to stay
But the darkness only grows ever stronger
It's time to anew
Though it gets harder every day
I'll promise I'll always live for you
There's no need to state your pain
I already see it in your eyes
We can break from their lies
Come and see what you have
come and see what you have is me

The sharpness of the blade
The toughness of my skin
The color of the blood that drips unto the pavement
The rush of pain i get
The calmness of holding it in my hands
The smell of the bullet reaching my mouth
The memories in my brain decease
Would you let everything go?
Just to feel alive again?
Can you end this moment of your life?
Show me how the gods kill
If you got no fear
Do you know the name of the one you saved?
If you w