Archive for commitment

You don’t have to have the perfect job, successful career, a house and whatever else you think you need. You don’t have to be fully established to fully commit or get married. You just need to be making progress towards your goals and dreams. One of the wrong things I’ve been taught and so have many is that you have to have be fully independent to build something with someone so whatever each other bring to the table is extra. Well that’s good but it’s being done with a fearthat the person may leave so therefore let me have plan B. What happened to building with each other, what happened to depending on each other?
People don’t see that but it’s no different than guys and girls building something with someone they are interested in yet have talking buddies as back up, it fits in all this side chick, side dude idea. We are quick to make sure to have an open door if things fail making it hard to succeed because failure is always on your mind.
If I have to get a prenup with the person I’m marrying I’m not marrying them. Love doesn’t have a plan B. Love is we are going to make things work no matter what. I need someone with the same mindset so giving up and running isn’t an option. Even when we aren’t happy. So with the fear of divorce, the fear of being left and a plan B sowed into us by modern society. We can’t help but make sure “we are good” if anything goes wrong. We spend so much time investing our hearts and promising forever only to live as if forever doesn’t exist. (Forever= till death tears us apart). Defeats the purpose. Love becomes a just words and marriage becomes more of a contract than anything else.

A lot of people regardless of their sign, believe that holding on, infinitely, are signs of love, courage, and strength. But there are times when it takes a lot more strength to realize when it’s time to let go and actually follow through with it. Not every man/woman or thing is meant to be in our lives forever. Once it’s over, Use that down time to reflect and evaluate you and what you need to be happy, think about the relationship as a whole and what you got from it then move on. You can’t make anyone love you or be a part of your life. What is meant to be will always be. But don’t miss out on “THE ONE” because you are too busy dwelling on the maybe’s and what if’s of yesterday.

A great relationship consist of 2 things. Appreciating what you share in common, and respecting each others differences. Never change because it’s what THEY want or think is best for you. Pretending will only make you miserable in the long run. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone used to be than it is to fill the space of who you used to be.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! Watch for people who tell you what they think you should hear. A persons actions speaks the whole TRUTH. Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent, and their actions never match up with their words, it might be time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. Pay attention because people will reveal themselves slowly!

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Being hurt is something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice. The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the “buts” you use today. Things always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.

Forget how you feel and remember what you deserve. Big challenges prepare ordinary people for extraordinary success. Every struggle arises for a reason – either for experience or as a lesson. A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it. The best thing you can do in most situations is to follow your intuition. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing good will ever happen.

Realize that it’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken either. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing stronger means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and circumstances, and finding something different that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what LIVING is all about. Don’t just settle for the default settings in life, when you can customize absolutely everything.

Holding on to what’s no longer there holds too many of us back. Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting the past and letting it steer the course of the present. Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place. Let it GO! You must accept the end of something in order to build something new. So close some old doors today. Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere. Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain. You will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of a new beginning.

If you feel like you need to let something go, but you simply haven’t been able to do so, know that you’re not alone. Accepting what is, letting go, and moving on are skills that all of us must learn when facing the realities of life, but these are also skills that take time to master. And today we challenge you to put in a little time…

When you’re struggling and maybe even hard to deal with, that doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unlovable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness. And if you have the right people in your life, they will know your heart and they will understand.

I wouldn’t say I’ve changed, but I’ve matured, I’ve learned. My experiences over time have molded me into a different person. I’m not as nice as I used to be. I won’t allow anyone myself to be put in any position to be taken advantage of. I don’t trust everyone and tell them my secrets because most of them can’t wait to hold it against me. I distance myself from negative people because, in the end, they’re only going to leave when I’m no longer of any use to them. If I have changed, it’s because I’ve realized that I’m the only person I can depend on. Learn not to expect much from anyone. It’s better to be surprised than disappointed.

Don’t put the only keys to your growth and happiness in someone else’s pocket. Relationships are not about authority and obedience; they are agreements of love and respect. You simply can’t live your entire life through someone else’s fantasies. There must be compromise and the space to do what’s right for you, even if someone you care about disagrees. Give, but don’t allow yourself to be used. Listen to loved ones, but don’t lose track of your inner voice in the process. Never apologize for what you feel and what you don’t feel; that’s a betrayal of your truth. No matter how much advice people give you, sometimes you have to feel things out for yourself, make decisions on your own, experience things first hand, and build your own conclusions from the ground up the old fashioned way.

In 2013 I’m going to get serious with someone and know their real intentions from the beginning .

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again.

Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do.

Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

Finish one project before you start another.

Be yourself.

Here are 6 ways to become the person you love.

1. Stop judging, and appreciate the beauty within you. – Judging yourself is not the same as being honest with yourself. When it comes to living as a compassionate, non-judgmental human being, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, is learning to walk a lifetime comfortably in your own. In every smile there is beauty. In every heart there is love. In every mind there is wisdom. In every human being there is a soul, there is life, there is worth, and there is the ability to see all these things in everyone, including one’s self.

2. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. – Accept yourself! Insecurity is what’s ugly, not you. Be you, just the way you are, in the beautiful way only you know how. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will either. And when you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit.

3. Care less about who you are to others. – Don’t lose YOU in your search for acceptance by others. Be aware that you will always appear to be a little less than some people prefer you to be, but that most people are unaware that you are so much more then what they see. You are good enough just the way you are. You have nothing to prove to anyone else. Care less about who you are to others and more about who you are to yourself.

4. Know your worth. – We often accept the love we think we deserve. It makes no sense to be second in someone’s life, when you know you’re good enough to be first in someone else’s.

5. Don’t rush intimate relationships. – Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off. It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can. You don’t need a perfect one, you just need someone who you can trust – who shows you that you’re the only one. If you haven’t found true love yet, don’t settle. There is someone out there who will love you unconditionally, even if it’s not the person you were initially hoping for.

6. Let go of those who aren’t really there. – There are certain people who aren’t meant to fit into your life no matter how much you want them to. And the only ones truly worthy of your love are the ones who stand with you through the hard times and laugh with you after the hard times pass. Maybe a happy ending doesn’t include anyone else right now. Maybe it’s just you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is simple letting go.