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A mum and a wife and sometimes just me

Thursday, 7 July 2011

In hindsight

I guess everyone knows that when babies are born they don't come with an instruction manual. I really need to have a word with God about that one. Some would argue I guess that every woman has the natural capacity to be a mum and once you have a baby you develop this mother's instinct and know what to do when. HA! Everyday I think that my motherly instinct is kicking in my son decides to change things up and I have to start the learning process of what I should be doing all over again. Yes, motherhood is definitely a continuous learning process so I guess even if babies came with an instruction manual it would need continuous updating. Of course with every learning experience you are bound to get something wrong. In hindsight you start thinking "Gosh I could have done that differently!" The problem with hindsight though is that as much as you can reflect on the past you can't very well go back and change it. No! I am in no rush to have a second either so that I can maybe get it better the second time.

As my son grows I can't help but think how fast it is all going and only 19 weeks ago he fit into the palms of my hands. As a new mum you read all the books because you want to make sure that you get it all right. You worry about silly things like spoiling your baby because you carry and console him all the time because you know even though he is happily sleeping in your arms as soon as you put him down he will start crying again. You worry about when to start a routine, when do they self-settle, when do they sleep through the night. Is he putting on enough weight, is he doing things at the right time.

Now at 19 weeks I look back and want to tell myself to relax. Hold your son close to you and breathe in the baby smells (except the baby poo maybe) as you take it one day at a time. Hindsight can sometimes be a cruel thing as I think of things I might have missed. He's my son and my first so I guess it was bound to happen. Now I go forward taking it one day at time so I guess even though I can't change the past I can hopefully learn from it.