Tag: compassionate

Lately, I have been reading quite a bit of commentary online reminding us all that the practice of yoga is about more than just doing the poses. At the same time, there has been an increase in posts of beautiful poses on FB and Instagram. Yogis these days are very adept and proud of it. We seem to love showing off our accomplishments, and clearly people love to see them. With these two seemingly contradictory messages, one can only imagine how confusing this could be for students who want to learn more about yoga. Do I have to be thin, fit, acrobatic? Will I get hurt if I go to a class? Can everybody do handstands? What is the purpose of yoga anyway?

I feel that it is ultimately up to us, the teachers, the ones who offer this great practice to others, to do our part to help steer the perception of yoga on to a more balanced course. Most of us come to teaching from a place of overflowing gratitude. Yoga has changed our lives in some way, and from that place of gratitude we desire to give back, to pass that possibility on to others so they can find their own transformation. Amidst all the gorgeous pose photos and festivals and colorful clothing that draw students in in the first place, there is something that yoga offers that is unique and the most beneficial in the long run. What is that something? It is probably a bit different for each individual. For me, it has been developing the ability to listen to, trust in and follow my own inner wisdom. My personal GPS. My higher Self. Beyond all the poses and the physical benefits of the practice lies this true gem.

We teachers have the power to convey this deeper wisdom to our students by incorporating simple spiritual themes when we teach our classes. There are many different types of yoga offered these days in all types of venues. Some classes are only 1 hour long and do not include time for chanting or discussion of any kind. Some classes barely have time for any quiet sitting such as meditation, deep breathing or savasana. Still, there is a way to offer some spiritual wisdom and inspiration to hungry students.

Find inspiration and bring it to your classes. You may know a poem that inspires you, or a book that you are finding helpful. Perhaps there is a story you saw posted on Facebook that touches your heart. I feel that the juiciest themes come from one’s own personal experiences. That said, we need to be cautious about turning our classes into therapy sessions. Students do not appreciate or learn from having to listen to us vent or share our problems all the time.

Are you interested in developing your teaching to the point where you can inspire your students spiritually as well as physically? If so, take some time to ponder whatever is happening in your life and then see if you can find the lessons that Life is asking you to learn from that experience. Study the teachings of great ones such as the Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, Byron Katie, Maya Angelou, Jack Kornfield and Eckhart Tolle. Their wisdom is offered in a way that is succinct, timeless and powerful.

Some examples of teachings that are applicable to yoga are:

Take personal responsibility for one’s life in all ways.

If you argue with reality, you lose.

Rise up from victimhood and be the change you want to see.

Learn how to be the observer so you can come from a place of responding rather than reacting.

Become aware of your tendency toward Fight or Flight syndrome that is often stress related.

These topics are just the tip of the iceberg as far as what is available to us online and in books. If you can learn how to deliver a message without sounding like a preacher, people will appreciate it. They took the time to come to class, let’s give them a complete experience: body, mind and soul.

Mother’s Day is a bittersweet celebration of motherhood for me. It is a celebration of the life I brought into this world, and a reminder of the life that was taken from it. When we fall under the spell of motherhood, we are so elated by the idea of this life we are going to bring into the world – this external representation of ourselves. We do not think about how fragile life truly is, how quickly it can be taken from us. Instead, we dream about it – ‘Will he have my smile? My husband’s laugh? Will she be smart and clever, kind and caring?’

We build space for this creation in our own lives. We transform a room in a house, complete with bassinet, rocking/feeding chair, baby monitor, and nightlight, and softly colored walls and linens. We create time that right now is filled with naps and morning sickness but will soon be filled with diapers and middle of the night feedings, and a little later, tying shoes and kissing skinned knees. We create space in our hearts for this little person that is going to fill every square inch and then he will grow and change and force us to keep making the space bigger for him or her.

Children teach us how to love unconditionally, an almost foreign concept in our society. This very unique way of loving another person is easier between parent and child because they are an extension of us. We learn to care for someone else and put his or her needs ahead of our own. They teach us patience. They keep us aware, awake and responsible. They challenge us and push us to our limits and teach us that we need to learn to set boundaries. Finally, they teach us how to love fiercely and let go, the hard lesson of non-attachment, though most of us parents remain completely attached for a lifetime to these mini-me people. No matter how old they are, they are our babies.

Logically and chronologically, we start out as their caregivers, teachers and advisors, but in time, the tables turn and it is we who rely on them for guidance and care. Having children results in a thorough transformation of the mind and heart and in most cases, the sacrifices made cannot fully be appreciated until one has a child of their own.

My children taught me how to love with every bit of my heart and then how to surrender control. My son, by leaving the planet at age 20, challenged my faith and my spirit. His untimely and tragic departure forced me to work hard to understand life and death at a higher level. I had to learn how to see him and his sister as separate souls on their own journeys, rather than my creations or my possessions. My daughter continues to teach me to be courageous and have faith in life. To trust the process. She does not live under a cloud of fear, but seizes the opportunity to live her life to the fullest. She suffered deeply at the age of 18 when she lost her 20 year old brother and now, 10 years later, she lives her life in a way that honors him.

I am so grateful for both of my children – grateful for the lessons of how precious life is and that even in our darkest moments, we CAN choose to survive.

Mothers, hold your babies tight and be grateful for THIS moment. Soak it in, drink it up, pull it in to every cell of your body, memorize it as an imprint on your heart. Children, love your parents and forgive them as soon as possible. Learn from their mistakes and hold their misgivings with compassion. If you can find forgiveness and compassion in your heart for them, you will live and die without regret.

In my last post, I shared my thoughts with you on making realistic, compassionate commitments to your Self: to your health, to your way of life, to your overall wellbeing. In essence, I was talking about finding balance – on your mat, and off it. I’d like to continue the conversation on balance.

I am very grateful for the life I have chosen. I used to stress about all the travel and the demands of teaching workshops every weekend. I felt guilty about spending so much time away from home, missing time with my family and local friends. People often asked me how was I planning to sustain this work with so much time away from home and all of the unpredictable realities of a demanding traveling career. At times, doubts and fears of failure, or even success, would creep into my mind. Sometimes this would turn into a sort of self-torture. Until I realized something – this is the life I asked for and co-created. I am very privileged to be able to travel the world, practice yoga in breathtaking locations, and share space with incredible people. I changed my attitude about this extraordinary life I am living, and everything about it, even the stressful stuff, became manageable. Whatever happens, when things unexpectedly change, I can view them in a negative or in a positive light. While I don’t have control over all of these situations, I always have control over my responses to them.

I have learned to be patient with myself while making changes that have led me to a more easeful, balanced version of my life. We live in an era of ever-increasing instant gratification. When someone else’s success inspires us, or a life-changing event rips us to the core, or we realize we need to take charge of our health, we may set out with big ideas of radical changes all at once. Lasting changes don’t work that way. My commitment to healthy eating and doing regular balanced exercise took practice and small steps of change. Letting go of rigidity, being grateful, even being patient with myself – gradually became a natural part of my daily life. Learning how to meditate, to simply sit and breathe, balanced out my natural urge to be busy and productive all the time. As it turns out, some of my best meditation opportunities happen on airplanes, which is fortunate as I spend anywhere between 4 and 12 hours per week sitting still en route to somewhere else.

If you are making changes to habits you’ve had all or most of your life, retraining your mind to a new outlook will take time. Be kind to yourself when you make a misstep. It will happen. Let it. Even go so far as to prepare for the missteps, and when they occur simply forgive yourself and then move on. Dust yourself off and keep going. One would never scold a child because he/she is not learning how to crawl or walk fast enough. Love yourself and others in the same patient way as you would love a child learning a new skill.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – “The Teaching of Buddha,” by the Bukkyõ Dendõ Kyõkai

Yoga asana is a part of my life, it is a joy for me to practice and teach. But as we all know, yoga is much more than our time on the mat. Yoga is also about cultivating awareness, honesty, devotion and appreciation. It is about oneness with myself and with others. It is my joy to commit to this path again and again, each day, in every way possible, to the best of my ability.

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