of life married to a deviously dominant madman!

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A bit more on headspace

A recent comment from Shawna : Is there ever a point in something like this, where you realize you’re stuck and just not going anywhere? Is it when the final lock clicks, or is it when Grimly first starts? Just curious as to the headspace there.

There’s no straight answer to this. Other than, it depends. lol.

This girl’s headspace has always been an odd thing. There are times when she’ll get too interested in what’s happening and too alert to relax into it, and that normally happens when its something new. Though mostly, given she’s extremely comfortable with Grimly now, those times are relatively rare.

Sometimes, this girl can relax into a scene straight away and feels controlled from the very first thing that happens, or the first look from him as cheesy as it sounds. Other times she’ll feel she needs to have an understanding of where things are going (which isn’t always obvious at the start) before she is completely ‘into it’.

Like anything else, a lot depends on background factors.

For example, the other week a whole four or five days of kink were planned and yet interrupted by car issues, by things that had to be done. So, sometimes, this girl or Grimly or both may be too tired to really want to play. If either feel that way they try and communicate it as past experience has found playing when not really in the mood just doesn’t work, and, its not as if there aren’t a thousand other opportunities. That would probably be one of this girl’s main tips – if you don’t feel like playing or doing something communicate it – then leave up to the Dom to decide whether to push on or not. Normally, Grimly won’t press on with things if he knows she’s not going to get fully into it, because unless she does, its not as rewarding for him either.

The mood needs to be right.Oh yeah, sure, there are probably going to be people who read that and say a true Master will do what he wants regardless of whether the slave is in the mood or not. Bollocks!

A dominant who is good at what he does should be able to communicate with his girl and understand her feelings and act accordingly, not just plough ahead without a care and needs to be in control of himself as much as of anyone else.

His headspace needs to be right too of course, and despite what people might think Grimly is not in super sadist mode 24/7. Though don’t tell anyone it might hurt his ego 😉 There are also times when its not right for him.

This girl needs to be in the right frame of mind for writing here too. Sometimes she doesn’t have the concentration or impulse for it, so if she feels that way she doesn’t bother. December in fact is going to be very much like that – too much else going on to really write an awful lot.

Though thats the thing – BDSM doesn’t have to be the centre of everything – just the icing on the cake.

When you have thoughts on your mind like – ‘will I be able to get to work tomorrow with the weather’ and ‘oh my God i have no money and not bought a single present yet’ and ‘oh shit in four weeks christmas will have been and gone’ and ‘help the family are invading’ you don’t always think BDSM all the time…its just not possible!

Does it make this girl less of a slave to be distracted with seasonal chaos?? This girl doesn’t think so. Its part of being human, having to contend with this! Maybe there are submissives out there focussed on their dom and nothing else, that maybe don’t have to worry about day to day things and have micromanaged lives where all of that is sorted out.

This girl would rather have the stress thanks very much! lol

Because…it will all be worth it in 23 days ! 😉

Though , this girl has to confess to not being so much of a masochist to spend hours untwining lights. She got fed up with them and bought new ones and the tree is now done!!