navigating through the life that was and moving into the life that is

The question “Why?” and the Faith not to know

by Sandra on July 26, 2012

This post is a semblance of things that have been going on over the last few weeks. Last night I read an incredible chapter from a grief book entitled Experiencing Grief by H. Norman Wright. I read Chapter 8, The Questions of Grief, because last night I had about a million questions most of them beginning with “Why?” Here are some excerpts of this chapter:

“Why?” is saying “I need some explanation. I need some answers.” Having no answer can feed our anger. … Answers don’t always make the pain go away. But don’t let others keep you from voicing your pain. Don’t be offended by their answers. Even though they don’t know the answer, they may be trying to help you.

Keep asking because in time a transformation of your questions could occur. One day your why will turn into “What can I do to grow through this experience?” and “How will my life be stronger now” Faith is involved in this process. On one hand you will ask why and on the other hand say, “I will learn to live by faith.” Faith is many things. It is not knowing the answer to the why and being willing to wait for an answer.

Acceptance comes in realizing that we may never know the “why” of what happened.

“In times of upheaval, a voice from heaven says, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ It doesn’t say, ‘Be still and know why.’

Accepting the silence could be one of your steps in moving on.

According to Craig Barnes, “God is often silent when we prefer that he speak, and he interrupts us when we prefer that he stay silent. His ways are not our ways.

Ultimately this all speaks on faith. The church I attend, 12 Stone, is doing a series on faith this summer. I was contacted by my church and asked if I would do a testimony on what my faith has meant through this tragedy in my life. Just days before they contacted me, I had posted this to Facebook on Glen’s birthday:

Glen, there are definitely not words to express what experiencing this day without you feels like. Yet I amazed at how well you are still taking care of us. I am encouraged that in our time together our faith was deepened to an even stronger level. For “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 Sure and certain, what an amazing God we have because I am able to be sure of the hope I have for our children and our future and certain that you are safe and in no pain while rejoicing with our Heavenly Father. And as Alana put it “mommy that is so awesome that daddy got to go to Jesus’ birthday party and now Jesus gets to go to daddy’s.” Awesome indeed. We all love you so much and miss you every day. Happy Birthday, babe! :)

From the three loves of your life ♥ ♥ ♥

I certainly felt overwhelmed with the idea of sharing my story, but after discussing it with them, felt ready to attempt it. So unbeknownst to them, on my first wedding anniversary without him, they came and spent the day with me and my family. It was an emotional and exhausting day, yet it was the perfect thing to do on what would have been a very hard day to handle. Instead of missing him on our wedding anniversary, I got to talk about him, our faith, and our marriage the whole day.

I wanted to share the video with all of you who have been supporting me and the children through this whole transition. I desire for people to know that with my faith in God I am at peace with my questions not being answered. That doesn’t mean I never hurt, I never cry, or I never have questions. But with my faith I am able to work through those difficult and trying times. I am able to close my eyes and remember to “Be still and know that I am God.”