Jack Canfield said: “make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive, nourishing and uplifting people. people who believe in you, encourage you to go after your dreams and applaud your victories”

As individuals, it is very important to be aware of how the different choices we make affect us. How intentional are you with your choices? The relationships you build? Do they serve a purpose? There is power in intentional relationships.

What is an intentional relationship? The word intentional means something done consciously or something done with a purpose in mind. That being said, we can deduce that intentional relationships mean consciously connecting with people or a group of people for a purpose.

We should be able to ask and answer certain questions like; are the relationships we have productive? Are we able to gain values that are essential to us? How does it help our leadership journey? The ability to ‘intentionally’ surround ourselves with individuals who add value to our life is very important. In this era, valuable and productive friendships are important as people do not have time for frivolities. The world is moving in a direction where people connect based on productivity and values.

So, we have to be conscious in building relationships. Can person X influence our life positively? What is the gain in connecting with group Y? These are questions to ask ourselves in connecting with people. As leaders, it is important to know that we can no longer afford to have trivial and mundane relationships for insignificant talk, and rather be intentional, knowing that every person or group that we connect with, our personal growth is foremost. You have to be able to tell yourself that you want to gain something positive out of that relationship. Your time is too precious.

Leveraging AWLO for Intentional Relationships

What is AWLO?

AWLO brings together female professionals, executives and leaders to further advance their leadership status.

This gives women the opportunity to experience leadership, connect with like-minds and have relationships with focused and goal-oriented women. It is aimed at women attaining their highest potential and making an impact in the society.

AWLO Forums

Through yearly conferences women get to meet and network. One of AWLO’s objectives is to create a platform for unity, solidarity, cohesion, dialogue and networking among women. It is at this time that resolutions are formed to change the narrative of women-leadership for women of African Descent.

AWLO is for Self-Development

This is why AWLO is great for intentional relationships, because it networks women who are geared in the same direction. Through our Chapters, AWLO gives women the chance to set and achieve goals together. It also enables women to form networks which are useful to their personal ambitions.

The Power of Intentional Relationships

As a leader, being surrounded by people who match your level of ambition is important. You can’t expect to be surrounded by mediocre people, and be great. Remember, great minds think alike! Intentionally create relationships to inspire and push you to be your absolute best. Individuals who can support you, people who encourage you when the chips are low, people that in general create positive impact in your life. Let your relationships offer value, and serve a purpose.

Adrienne Westman has directly impacted the lives of people from over 30 countries. What began as a young person’s desire to help individuals transform the quality of their lives has grown into Adrienne’s lifelong crusade as she is called on by leaders from every walk of life: political leaders, advocates for humanity, CEOs of multinational corporations, investors, world-class entertainers, business forums, and educational institutions. Over the past few years, Adrienne has spoken around the world at some prestigious events. Now considered to be one of South Africa’s top female speakers, Adrienne has shared the stage with many international speaking legends.

Two Habits that Keep me Grounded as a Leader

[Tweet “Everyone is important, special and worthy to be seen and heard – @AdiLovesLife”]

1. I love exercising and spending time in nature appreciating the beautiful world that we live in. Taking time out of my busy schedule to absorb all of the beautiful sights, sounds, scents.

2. I enjoy inspiring and empowering people from all walks of life. Everyone is important, special and worthy to be seen and heard.

One Experience that Shaped my Leadership journey

[Tweet “A voice said to me; Stop being a Victim, Rise Up & Be the Woman I have called you to be!- @AdiLovesLife”]

Some time ago, I became “stuck!” I reached a stage in my life where it felt like I was constantly swinging at curve balls flying in my direction. I was tired, exhausted and I lost focus. I became consumed by all that was happening around me rather than keeping my eye on of the prize! I was bombarded with negative thoughts, feelings of disappointment at where I was in my life. Without realizing it, I started over analyzing everything and became increasingly more and more self critical.

One night I walked outside onto the deck whilst everyone was still asleep and I felt like a voice said to me:

Stop being a Victim, Rise Up & Be the Woman I have called you to be!

This was a life changing moment for me. I came to the realization that the way I felt about myself, set the tone to what happened to me on a day to day basis. I found that the longer it took me to know what I wanted, the more confused and depressed I became. I had to understand that my negative thoughts, kept me away from all the good things which were presenting themselves to me on a daily basis. When I focused on positive thoughts and I knew what I WANTED it gave me the POWER, CONFIDENCE, and MOMENTUM to achieve my goals!

One Lesson for a Woman in Leadership From Me

[Tweet “UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT – @AdiLovesLife”]

You need to understand that where you are right now reading this, you are having thoughts and your thoughts are causing you to have a relationship WITH YOU KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT! So many people believe that God created them and now it is up them to work things out on their own!? Meanwhile, you are being sent messages and opportunities and signals from above to help you and guide you to achieve everything that you want! Can you imagine the feelings of gratitude when you accept that you are in the right place at the right time? Can you feel the grace, peace and love that God has for you? Can you feel the clarity and focus that has been given to you?

Rather than focusing on the absence of what you don’t have, focus on the wonderful feelings knowing that everything is working out 100% according to your highest good/plan/purpose.

Ladies, we need to enjoy our process of the becoming. We are all in the process of transformation and the things that we want are also in the process of becoming. Whilst knowing what you want, I would like to encourage you to love where you are, and embrace the laughs and joyful moments along the way. You are Worthy! You are Wonderful! Choose to be kind and have grace with yourself today and most importantly have fun!

[Tweet “AWLO is a lot more than just an association but more importantly it is a network, a community, a sisterhood of extraordinary women.”]

A woman leader needs an association where she can receive words of wisdom, encouragement and identify with the stories and experiences of women from across the globe. When I spoke at the AWLO conference held in Sandton I was in awe at how the AWLO women connected and respected each other whilst feeling safe enough to be authentic. I quickly realized that AWLO was a lot more than just an association but more importantly it is a network, a community, a sisterhood of extraordinary women.

[Tweet “The truth is that we don’t know, what we don’t know. -@AdiLovesLife”]

One Mistake that Every Leader Must not Make

Believing that we know everything. The truth is that we don’t know, what we don’t know.

There is no one-size-fits-all in mentorship. Some are formal within organizations or mentors in the field. Others are informal relationships that are unique but reliable in fostering personal growth.
Peer mentoring is a form of mentorship between a person with a specific relevant experience – the mentor, and a person new to that experience – the mentee, within the same peer group. The mentor provides support, coaching, and refers relevant opportunities to the mentee.

For instance, I find that my relationship with my sister is useful to my career experience. Using Transferable knowledge in one career for the other is a product of mentoring from a supportive sister.

This kind of informal mentorship is also useful in making health and life style changes. For instance, AWLO creates an opportunity for like minds to meet, and foster supportive relationships. Making yourself accountable to a supportive peer, is powerful in influencing your decisions. They can help you reach your goals, and challenge you with new ideas. They encourage you to move beyond comfort zones. Peer mentors are picked for their sensitivity, confidence, social skills and reliability.

When You are Picking a Peer-Mentor:

Know yourself

[Tweet “Don’t let another person’s opinion define you.”]

Defining yourself sets the tone for the relationship already. Who are you? What are your views? What are your interests? Set the tone already. Don’t let another person’s opinion define you. Know who you are, and let the people in your life support you to bring out the best in you.

Consider your Options

[Tweet “When there is conflict of values, relationships become draining”]

A peer mentor must have experience and knowledge relevant to you. You want to find shared goals, and mindset. When there is conflict of values, such relationships become draining. You must find it inspiring, and let it allow you to be free. Be free to air your opinions, and make honest mistakes. Let it become the ground for you to grow, and learn in a supportive environment.

Making a decision

[Tweet “Position people in your life who can stand up for who you are.”]

Writing down the options in mentors, whom you are considering, will allow you to examine the possibilities simultaneously and also judge the values and condition of each options potential. Relationships among peers have the most potential in influencing an individual’s core values and essence. Don’t allow yourself be pulled down or shadowed by other’s shine. Stand up for who you are, and be able to position people in your life who can stand up for who you are.

In this month, we are deliberate about sisters lifting each other up. So, we asked women leaders to take an insightful Q and A, and pour out their heart to other women leaders about their Leadership journey. We took some profound notes from Dr. Karmetria Burton.

As a transformational leader, Dr. Karmetria Burton has worked in various strategic management level positions with national and international responsibility involving diversity and inclusion for such companies as Xerox, AT&T and IHG (Intercontinental Hotels Group) where she served as manager of supplier diversity.

Dr. Burton’s business acumen and empowerment techniques have harvested respect amongst her peers as she is a noted contributor on Business, Corporate, Diversity, Faith, Self-Improvement, Leadership and Empowerment. Additionally, Dr. Burton has worked in academia instructing students on business, diversity, marketing and leadership courses. She is also the founder of The Paint Your Lips Red Movement. An empowerment campaign for women.

Dr. Burton

Here Is What She Said:

It’s Not About You as The Leader but More About the Results

[Tweet “It’s Not About You as The Leader but More About the Results – @karmetriab”]

Never allow the position to become greater than the mission. As a leader it is important to always keep the goal in mind. Why are you there? It’s not about YOU as the leader, but more about the results.

Quit Taking It Personally

[Tweet “Quit Taking it Personally – @KarmetriaB”]

QTIP – Quit taking it personally! Sometimes as women, we can get emotional, and take things personally. Very often it is never about YOU. It’s important to have strong emotional intelligence in the workplace.

Stay Feminine but Also Keep Your Edge

As a woman leader we often can lose our femininity. Stay feminine but also keep your edge. When I have executive meetings I usually wear peals or a flower; which shows I’m a “feminine” leader in charge. Keep your edge by remaining vocal when necessary and provide a solution to the situation.

Be associated with MEN as well. Often as women leaders we gravitate to other women, because we are comfortable. In reality men are in key decision-making positions too. Don’t be afraid to have male mentors.

Always Do Business Ethically

Always do business ethically. Be a credible leader. Your brand is important.

Did you catch the passionate Instagram-live session with Tara Durotoye?

Tara Fela-Durotoye is the current CEO of House of Tara International. She is known for pioneering the bridal makeup profession in Nigeria. Tara launched the indigenous House of Tara product line, Orekelewa, and the country’s first makeup school in 2005 which has now graduated over 1,500 students to go on and start their own businesses. Through Tara’s remarkable efforts, House of Tara has become a national brand with 23 branches, over 10, 000 beauty representatives and over 100 employees in most major cities across Nigeria and distribution channels in Ghana, Kenya, Rwanda and a plan to expand to other cities in Africa, Europe and North America.

Just as you are excited about hearing from Tara, so was I. She recently started her online course, and took to Instagram to share a sneak-peek into this course. Well, this turned out to be not only a sneak-peak, but an educational conversation on structuring a business, This is a subject we all know the beautypreneur to be passionate about. Here is what she emphasized on:

LET THERE BE A CORPORATE CULTURE

Tara Durotoye sharing with some African entrepreneurs about building a culture of leadership using House of Tara as case-study

Tara Durotoye’s experience at Exonn Mobil has been a game changer for her in business development. Tara recalls picking up on the core value of ‘safety’ while visiting Exonn Mobil in USA.
“There was always something about safety on the toilet door, on the foot mat…when somebody puts on a screen, it was on the screen-saver. And so when I asked the people at Exonn Mobil about it, they said; this is their value as an organization, that they had a lot of talk to reiterate their values. So, I understood the importance of creating values that are tied to the business that you do. It didn’t matter if I was a makeup business or a service business”.

She shows us the ‘House of Tara’ Fun Book which documents the company’s organizational processes. “The House of Tara Fun book is a hundred-page document that says; how we attend to customers, our appropriate dressing…for us at House of Tara, with a smile on our face we say, ‘welcome to House of Tara’”.

Even though these were things they had practiced, she had to document it. “The only way you can scale is if you document processes. The more I started focusing on the steps we are putting in place, it made me less afraid for the future. Knowing that, even when I am not in Uyo, they will do what they are trained to do. Does your staff know the guidelines? If not, why are you expecting so much from them?”

She likens processes to how recipes are standard procedure, and said it leads to businesses outliving their founders. And also, so many years later she now finds that, “I would have been less impatient with people, if I had processes.”

Another main thing, she says is treating a business as a separate entity. “Many companies don’t outlive founders because they don’t separate money that is for them and money that is for sustaining the business. I had to put myself on a salary, so it defines what I can afford. Many times, your company starts making millions and you think it is your own. It is important to separate the finance of your company from yours”.

UNDERSTANDING THE ROLE OF PEOPLE

Tara Durotoye checking up on her team at a movie set in Abuja

When Tara Durotoye was starting out in business, she found that she was going to need ‘a mindset shift’ and ‘change in language’. “It is not ‘my company’ but ‘our company’.” A sign that a strong people element was at the core of sustaining an organization. “You need to understand the role everyone played in the place. As entrepreneurs we may have an entitlement mindset; that the people who work for us are there to slave for us. Unfortunately, we are all colleagues collaborating… sharing one vision”.

She talks about businesses often downplaying on the impact of self-serving leadership, “I am looking forward to seeing more businesses that outlive their founders, because they are building businesses that give value to not just the founder but to the people.”

She says that dealing with people according to engagements and set down rules further defines a structure. “You can’t just sack people. That is why people don’t want to work for small businesses. You need to have graded penalties. What does someone do to deserve a certain punishment, as opposed to depending on the mood of the Founder or CEO.”

She notes that, the value that you get from the people who work with you appreciates only when you develop a relationship with them. “As Founder, people don’t care about what you care about until you show that you care about what they care about. When you want to have the heart of people, they have to know that you have them in your heart first.”

Apparently, developing a great people experience makes the work a breeze. “At the end of the day it’s about ‘the people’. We call our human resource; ‘the people experience team’. We say it’s a ‘human organization’ about the humans in our organization. Humans have a spirit, have a soul, and live in a body. You can’t be a manager and not care about your team member as a whole”.

Also knowing that people like to own a part of the vision, and not feel micro-managed, and that’s when they are most productive. “People want to feel like they are part of something. People want to have autonomy, and know that their voices are heard.”

Tara shows she believes, and invests in her team members, who may in turn become pillars of the organization. “My focus is not on Judas. It is about my eleven. That is how we have kept some of our makeup artists”.

In this month, we are deliberate about sisters lifting each other up. So, we asked women leaders to take an insightful Q and A, and pour out their heart to other women leaders about their Leadership journey. You will find some inspiration and takeaways from Ajoke Enebeli.

Ajoke Hepzibah Enebeli is an entrepreneur who’s founded a culinary business in Nigeria, and is currently expanding to America. She graduated from The Enterprise Development Center of the Pan Atlantic University, in addition to studying Strategic Management and Social Entrepreneurship. She has over 15 years leadership experience in public management. She also has spearheaded several development work initiatives for women. Mrs. Enebeli is currently the Coordinator of Rivers State Chapter of African Women in Leadership Organisation, and a member of Institute of Strategic Management Nigeria.

She prides in two habits that keep her grounded as a leader. ‘Perfection and performance’. “I have a natural flair for perfection and my friends from way back called me ‘miss perfect’. I was almost a critic but advancing in age and in life, I have understood the true meaning of tolerance; giving people the benefit of the doubt and giving room for errors in my walk with people”.

[Tweet “I worked with a seasoned administrator who believed in nothing short of excellence – Ajoke Enebeli”]

Enebeli’s work as the head of administration at the joint administration and matriculations Board JAMB is the one leadership experience that has shaped her. She says;

I worked with a dynamic, experienced, and seasoned administrator who taught me how to dot every ‘I’ and cross all ‘t’s. One who believed in excellence and nothing short of it.

Given my passion for growth and pursuit of knowledge, I was closest to her thereby imbibing and absorbing all she had within.

In her absence I stood in and ensured there was no vacuum, I represented her on official assignments too.

My Boss is now amazingly is one of my chapter members and supporters. A woman who now looks up to me her former subordinate, now AWLO Chapter Coordinator and leader. Here I must say is the case of praying that our children be greater than we are. She is a mentor, mother, and leader with results and evidence, – me!

She mentored me in Administration, unknown to her she was sending me forth to active leadership. She trusted me with almost everything even to the home-front. I became part of her family and friends. I speak of a grand-mother of about eight grand-children.

I could write memos and letters on her behalf, proof read and edited her papers for presentation and signed documents on her behalf as the then zonal Coordinator of JAMB River State Nigeria.

When she was on leave or official assignments, I was the next administrative head to handle the office, not just for fondness sake but because of competence and delivery. I would carry everyone along and give succor to fellow staff.

Suffice it to say that I am a born leader who needed the inspiration of a born leader to get me out to the world. Doing what I know to do best; to gather, lead, care, and mentor the less-privileged in our society.

If you would permit, I speak of no other Woman Of Worth but Mrs. Beatrice Etta -Inyiam, the South-South Coordinator of The Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board ( JAMB).

[Tweet “As a leader, do not expect everyone to love, applaud and affirm you all the time – Ajoke Enebeli”]

African Women in Leadership Organisation’s vision is founded on leadership development for women of African descent. We are preparing women leaders for leadership through an experiential Leadership development in AWLO Chapters. We believe that women are capable of initiating action, and mobilizing resources and people to create change for their community.

[Tweet “Being a woman is not an alibi.”]

To us, being a woman is not an alibi. Not that the sincere out-cry of those abused and disadvantaged should be overlooked or that discrimination against women should be ignored, but we are deliberately creating a new crop of women leaders who take responsibility for the change they want to see.

AWLO Rivers State Chapter in Nigeria created opportunities for young women to learn professional catering

How is AWLO doing it?

Through Building Relationships for Productivity

[Tweet “We are for women taking initiative and forming teams to proffer solutions”]

We are for women taking initiative and forming teams to proffer solutions. The essence is to provide access to relevant networks, and form a competitive work-force.

A chapter of AWLO is like an ecosystem; a work-force for impact. Through chapters we are creating development initiatives. This is a platform for finding coherence and shared goals, to deliver value.

A Chapter is led by a coordinator, who collaborates with her team to strategize on possible actions in alignment with the organisational theme.

Leadership Experience

[Tweet “An AWLO chapter is a leadership-tailored program for women”]

A chapter is a leadership-tailored program. For women to experience and gain transferable leadership skills. Skills such as taking initiative, team work, structuring, how to convene meetings, project management, and others. We are deliberately creating avenues for more functional leaders to emerge through a chapter structure, and changing the narrative of women not being great team mates.

Personal Development

[Tweet “It is self-leadership first; a leader who goes the way, shows the way.”]

This is all we are gunning for. To help women leaders become better people. For us it is self-leadership first, because a leader who goes the way, shows the way. This experience helps women to improve their network, learn transferable skills to scale in their various works of life, and attain their full potential.

What comes to mind when the names Afua Osei or Yasmin Belo-Osagie comes to mind? For me it is squad goals. We tend to miss out on the fact that two women being co-founders is the hottest squad goals ever. And the fact that they are delivering on a mission that is centered around ‘squad goals’ too is even hotter.

Let me put it this way. If you have a challenge, or a question, that is not about the next clearance sales, or asoebi (not to say you shouldn’t wear asoebi), or that celebrity you are stalking on Instagram, but about real life-changing decisions like job opportunities, career and business decisions. The duo has created a life hack for a ‘smart bestie’. A needed voice if you ever find yourself looking for answers from a dependable friend. This life-line is called sheleadsafrica.

At a time in Africa, many women were not very ambitious. What I mean is they did want great things, but not great enough. For instance, in sub-Saharan Africa, many women would only take-on micro-businesses. Who else can relate to that side-hustle mummy has just to get by? Totally not a bad idea, only that women can, and should want more.

[Tweet “Why can’t the next Facebook come from a young woman in Africa – Yasmin Belo-Osagie”]

Afua Osei and Yasmin Belo-Osagie came to turn things around. “Why can’t the next Facebook come from a young woman in Africa. I think that we don’t have anything against micro-finance businesses, but there isn’t just one African experience…” Yasmin told BBC.

This Duo has inspired young African women to dream big, by creating a hub. A hub, that’s what this is about.

[Tweet “We are helping young women build a network of other young women – Yasmin Belo Osagie”]

Teaching women what real squad goals should be about

According to Miss Belo-Osagie, they help young women build a network of other young women. “We sort of found that when young women were coming together, it was around entertainment and fashion, and not around many opportunities to really talk about ambition, and not be ashamed about saying I wanna build a million-dollar company, and have people that are around in line with that and also want to support what you are doing”.

Help African Women access the right Mentors and Connects for Business and Professional Growth

These two women attest to working hard to reach the right mentors that will benefit young African Women. “It is very difficult. For every big name that you see, we have 3 others that rejected us!” they told the Guardian. But surely it has been a success as they have continued to identify experts from different fields for young women. It is true that Aliko Dangote has earmarked $1m in low-cost loans for start-ups under the SLA umbrella. Through their accelerators, and shehive boot camps, young women gain first hand access to investors, partners, and experts to foster business relationships.

Ignite a new Trend

Young people like to flock around trends, and these have done great at igniting one. They know that young people like to be part of a squad, who have their own code. ‘Motherland Moguls’ as they refer to young women, are a tribe of cool, smart and ambitious young women created by Afua Osei and Yasmin Belo-Osagie.

Would you like us to feature any woman of African Descent on our blog? Please let us know via the comments section below.

Many times, I am fascinated by the demeanor of AWLOMember; Mrs. Eno Attai. Cool, calm, collected, and hits you with the right words when she speaks. In this month for ‘sisterly love’, as we aim to bring out the best in one other, she shares on the strengths of introvert women.

She is a Toastmaster and admits that this has been a booster to opening up and sharing more. Mrs. Attai studied Business Administration at the republic of Benin; where she learnt to speak French in addition to 3 Nigerian languages. She is a creative with a flourishing bead-work and women read-to-wear (made by her) business.

Her day-to-day work engages her creatively. It demands a lot of focus, attention to detail and discerning approach. Mrs. Eno Attai says women can leverage on such strengths to be spectacular leaders.

There has been a Misconception

Leadership has been a thing for the bold and extroverted. You hear people proclaim themselves as ‘born leaders’ most times because of their bold nature. Sometimes, the ‘slow and steady’ really does win the race.

5 Traits That Make Introvert Women Better Leaders By

Toastmaster Eno Attai

They Listen

Listening is a sign of good communication and leadership. Being able to listen without interruption assures people that you are following. Introvert women are good listeners, and they can bring this on-board leadership.

They Embrace Solitude

[Tweet “Introverts are boosted by spending time with themselves – Eno Attai”]

Introverts are boosted by spending time with themselves. As a leader, this will give them the opportunity for self-reflection, reasoning and research. Then, interruption is less and focus and imagination is accelerated. Leader, Bill Gates has been known for always disappearing as a child, and retorting back “Don’t you think?” when his mother would find him.

They Are Prepared

Thoughtfulness, consideration and thorough preparation are principles every leader should deploy. Introverts have an edge here because they may overthink their tasks, since people tend to underestimate their abilities. Well, that is why they knock people off their feet.

They Think Before they Talk Or Act

Since introverts spend more time in their head, the result is usually thoughtful words and action. They think before they speak or act. During communication with team members or presentation, they are aware of the impact of their words. So, they mean what they say, say what they mean, and their words and actions are in sync. This inspires integrity and trust.

They maintain A Calm Disposition

Being cool, calm, and collected and not exhibiting despair as a leader, inspires confidence. It is a sign of being organized. Nigerians can relate to Former President Obasanjo whom, when he had the opportunity to address the nation in a face of national crises his address would be interjected with lines such as ‘I dey Kampe’; an assuring Nigerian pidgin phrase meaning ‘I am fine. Nothing can go wrong’.

If you are a woman in leadership, or AWLO Member, other women can leverage on your leadership experience. You can share useful tips on networking, building great relationships, and teamwork for women leaders in this month of February. Shoot us an mail via contributor@awlo.org

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