Lois Brown: "Jerry Lee here's a married man, ain't that right, Jerry Lee?" Jerry Lee: "Well, that's not necessarily so, Lois." Lois: " And just what do you mean by that?" Jerry Lee: "Well, you see I was still married to my first wife when I married my second wife,so I never really was married to my second wife. And since I divorced my first wife a couple of years ago, I'm as free as a bird in a tree!"

Jerry Lee Lewis: God gave us a great big apple, see, and He said don't touch it. He didn't say touch it once in a while; He didn't say take a nibble when you're hungry; He said don't touch it! Don't think about touchin'it, don't sing about touchin' it, don't *think* about singin' about touchin' it!