How TV Characters Spend Thanksgiving

Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving. That special holiday when everyone comes together with family to eat more food in one sitting than some children in Africa eat in a whole month. Hmm, that sounded cynical. Let me try again. That special holiday when shoppers trample each other to death in the pursuit of a cheap HD flatscreen from Wal-mart. Okay, one more time. That special holiday when the president pardons a turkey. Alright, that’s good enough.

Just kidding, everyone. I love Thanksgiving. In the several hours of digestion that occur after gorging ourselves when we are unable to move more than to scratch our protruding stomachs, many Americans spend their Thanksgivings watching TV. This made me wonder how some famous TV characters spend their Thanksgiving holidays.

How TV Characters Spend Thanksgiving

Dwight Schrute – The Office: Dwight spends his Thanksgiving day hunting, killing, plucking, gutting, preparing, and cooking the turkey, goose, or whatever unlucky fowl happened to cross his path. Then he and his cousin Mose enjoy a quiet dinner together and read a little Harry Potter afterward.

The cast of The Jersey Shore: Snooki, Pauly D, Vinny, and J-Woww spend their holiday explaining to people on the street that “No, this is not a turkey costume, but thank you for the compliment. Yes, we do this to our skin on purpose. Yes, it’s kind of expensive but it’s worth it. Alright, you have a Happy Thanksgiving, too.”

Temperance Brennan – Bones: Bones spends all Thanksgiving dinner determining the sex, time and cause of death of the turkey. She usually identifies the killer by the time the pie is served.

Jesse Pinkman – Breaking Bad: Jesse sits alone in his house on Thanksgiving, chain smoking staring into space in the dark. For dessert, Jesse smokes some meth.

Stewie – Family Guy: Stewie spends Thanksgiving convincing people that his head is not a football and to put him down this instant. No, not after one more pass. Now.