Roommate Confessions: Issue 22

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

Freshman year me and my roommate had some very noisy neighbors next to us in the dorms. I'm talking 4:00 am shouting and throwing things loud. So one afternoon when I went to go check the mail everyone had received a free sample of some AXE body spray. I grabbed our sample, and solicited more from people on the hall and devised a plan of revenge. Making sure both noisy neighbors were in their room, we took about 6 or 7 of the "axe bombs" and taped the tops down so it was continuously spraying, and then chunked them into their room and held their door shut. Best part, the dorm's windows can't open, so until they picked up every bottle and peeled the tape off, their room was being loaded down with the stuff.Matt, University of Mobile

My roommate is intensly addicted to world of warcraft. Like all he does is play all day and all night. My favorite thing to do when I'm bored is log into the router and turn on and off his internet connection every five minutes or so causing intense frusteration for him.
Mike, School Not Given

My ex-boyfriend and his brother share a pretty small room. I was over one lazy Saturday afternoon and my ex's brother suggested we watch a movie. For whatever reason-I think his bed had a better view of the T.V.-my ex and I ended up laying on his brother's bed to watch the movie. It was really cold too so we were under the covers. I ended up giving my ex a couple of hand jobs during the movie even though his brother was 10 feet away at his computer (with his back to us). Needless to say, my ex ended up spilling himself on his brother's sheets and bedspread. It wasn't done with malicious intent or anything, his brother and I got along fine, I guess we were just horny. I wonder if he ever found out.
G.A. UCLA

There is this one kid in our suite that no one liked. Bugging the hell out of everyone 24/7. After about a month of classes he goes to a party and gulps down 6 mouthfuls of vodka in about 10 minutes and comes back into the room screaming "this is awesome" obviously it was the first time he drank. He starts to thrash about wildly so we throw him in his room and hear him throwing all of his stuff around (laptop at his fridge, ps2, etc.) We go in and pin him down for a while then when he started to puke we got public safety and he was taken to the hospital at like 3 in the morning. Around 10 that morning everyone from the suite is taking about what happened to him laughing our asses off. Someone knocks on the door, turns out the kid was released and was technically still drunk. He had a .4 BAC that night. So when he got in the shower we took a condom and unrolled it, put it under his sheets WITHOUT anything in it, and took his phone and put one of out suite mates phone numbers in there . He gets out and when he finds it hes like "Did some one give me a condom last night?" too stupid to realize nothing was in it, We told him he came back with a girl "Rachel" and banged the life out of her and that she was moaning all night. he checked his phone and found her number in there. For about a week he would try calling her everyday, sending her text messages like "honey, we need to talk about what happened Saturday night." We saw and heard everything he would say to "Rachel" and when we told him he claimed he knew all along.
Steve Smith, School Not Given

My freshman year in college there were 5 of us living in a house. Most of us (including myself) had gone to a party earlier that night that got busted by the cops. We went back to the house and started drinking again there. More people showed up and the party moved to our place. This girl I had been chasing for a while decided to invite me to my bedroom with her. So we were alone in my room with the door closed having a good time, real good time, when all of a sudden I heard police sirens and my friends yelling "COPS" at the tops of their lungs. So to avoid problems with the cops, since I wasn't 21 yet, I jumped out of bed, threw open the door, tried to pull my pants up and run down the hallway. Once I turned the corner down the hallway all my friends were standing there with cameras at the ready. I couldn't believe they got me. They had downloaded an audio file of police sirens and turned the volume up on the home stereo. Now that I look backon it, it's fucking funny!
Brandon, Fort Hays State University