Saturday, March 1, 2014

I was going to wax poetic for paragraphs about how wonderful these beans are, about how they have the potential to bring about world peace, about how they would delight even the most hardened serial murderer, and how, if there is ever a cure for cancer, it will likely involve this recipe in some way. But rather than ramble on at length about how good this is, I outsourced the job to Erin. Here's her take:

You might think "black beans, so what?" What's the point of spending time making beans from scratch when you can easily open a can? Who would ever know the difference? Wrong. Just...totally wrong. These are completely worth the time and I would challenge you to disagree once you've tried them. I have sampled black beans in almost every country in Central America, and these are seriously the most delicious I have ever tasted. The flavor is amazing, the sofrito is perfect. There is just enough kick to injure your enemy, but not cause any permanent damage. You'll probably want to put these on everything; don't let anyone try to stop you. Best beans ever. It doesn't hurt that the chef is pretty darn cute too.

Prep time: 2 cocktails

1 pound dry black beans

3 bay leaves

2 large bell peppers (green, red or one of each), coarsely
chopped

1 large onion, coarsely chopped

1 bunch of cilantro, chopped

2 Jalapeños, coarsely chopped

¼ cup olive oil

1 tsp ground cumin

1 TBSP dried oregano

1 TBSP salt

2 tomatoes, finely chopped (optional)

¼ cup full-bodied red wine (shiraz, zinfandel, or
cabernet sauvignon)

¼ cup balsamic vinegar

A few drops of liquid smoke (optional)

Soak the beans overnight. Drain and rinse well. Place beans
in large Dutch oven with the bay leaves and top with water until beans are
submerged. Bring the water to a boil on high heat. Reduce heat to maintain a
gentle boil and cook the beans uncovered, stirring occasionally until beans soften—this can take all day, depending on your beans and elevation (you can prepare the beans in a
pressure cooker to save a lot of time). As you cook, keep topping off
the water when it drops below the beans.

While your beans are cooking, you want to make your sofrito. Sofrito is a simmered,
fragrant sauce and a critical element in many Latin
American cuisines. To whip it up, place
the bell pepper, onion, cilantro and jalapeños in a food processor and process
until everything’s broken down, but still a bit chunky—don’t make a smooth
sauce. Next, over medium heat, warm up a large frying pan with the olive oil in
it. When hot, add the bell pepper/onion mixture. Sauté, stirring frequently,
for about 5 minutes. Next stir in the cumin, oregano, salt, and tomato (if
using). Continue stirring frequently another 5 minutes. Viola! You just made
sofrito. Remove from heat and have a rewarding sip of the cocktail you're enjoying.

When beans are almost completely cooked in the pot, add your
sofrito, red wine, and balsamic vinegar. Stir frequently and cook another 30
minutes until the beans are fully cooked, you have the desired amount of
liquid, and the flavors have all mingled. Adjust any seasoning and add a little
liquid smoke to taste (if using) before serving.

Rice with native mushrooms and smoked meat is common in Haiti. Instead of native mushrooms, I use shiitake; in place of
pork, I chose liquid smoke; and rather than using the traditional white rice, I
go with far awesomer Bhutanese red rice (available at most natural grocers). The result is a nutty, smoky, earthy
flavor that as a great contrast to the spicy and sweet notes in other Caribbean
dishes, especially Cuban Black Beans or Vegetarian Jamaican Curried Goat.

Prep time: 1 cocktail

3 TBSP peanut or vegetable oil

¼ cup onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 cup Bhutanese red rice

1/2 cup shiitake mushrooms, chopped coarsely

16 drops liquid smoke

2 cups veggie stock

Several good grinds of pepper

¼ cup coarsely chopped pecans or macadamia nuts

1 scallion, chopped

Heat oil in a medium-size saucepan over medium heat. When
warm, add onion and sauté for two minutes, or until they begin to turn just
slightly transparent. Add garlic and sauté another minute. Stir in rice and
continue to stir constantly until rice starts to change color and gives off a
nice toasted aroma, about 3-4 minutes.

Add mushrooms, liquid smoke, veggie stock, and pepper. Stir
well and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cover until the rice is fully
cooked—about 45 minutes.

When it’s done, remove from heat, add nuts and scallion and
fluff everything well with a fork. Adjust liquid smoke or salt as necessary.

Talking Dirty:

Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.

~Harriet van Horne

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.

~Voltaire

Wish I had time for just one more bowl of chili.

~The dying words of Kit Carson

The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of mankind than the discovery of a star.

~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.

~Chinese proverb

We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.

~Epicurus

He who distinguishes the true savor of his food can never be a glutton; he who does not cannot be otherwise.

~Henry David Thoreau

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

~M. F. K. Fisher

Did you ever stop to taste a carrot? Not just eat it, but taste it? You can't taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie.

~Astrid Alauda

Great food is like great sex. The more you have, the more you want.

~Gael Greene

All sorrows are less with bread.

~Miguel de Cervantes,Don Quixote

A good cook is the peculiar gift of the gods. He must be a perfect creature from the brain to the palate, from the palate to the finger's end.

~Walter Savage Landor

Good food ends with good talk.

~Geoffrey Neighor

A meal, however simple, is a moment of intersection. It is at once the most basic, the most fundamental, of our life's activities, maintaining the life of our bodies; shared with others it can be an occasion of joy and communion, uniting people deeply.

~Elise Boulding

There's nothing like good food, good wine, and a bad girl.

~Anonymous

The joys of the table belong equally to all ages, conditions, countries and times; they mix with all other pleasures, and remain the last to console us for their loss.

~Antheleme Brillet-Savar

Serve this dish with much too much wine for your guests, along with some cooked green vegetables and a huge salad. You will be famous in about half an hour.

~Jeff Smith, The Frugal Gourmet

Olive oil? Asparagus? If your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.