Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Aliens Invading OfficeMax

(if you look really closely at the lady behind the red rack, you can see her blue face...)

Hooooly shi&. I don't even know where to start. I must first apologize for my typing being not grammatically correct and half the words spelled wrong becuase i'm typing to fast to get this all down that it'll prbly be all sloppy. so sorry.

Ok first things first. After i eat my wonderful pb&j sandwhich from j, i head over to customer service where e is standing. She is straightening some papers very very slowly when she (also very slowly) turns to me and says, "dude... that lady is blue."

So i turn around and look down the center aisle. sure enough!!! SHE'S BLUE!! LIKE A LEGIT BLUE! i immediatley start almost hyperventilating. there is a lady in OMX who is walking around and she has blue skin.!!!! Of course i hurry and snap a picture.

Next, luke is up there too and this man comes in. ok. this man definitly has something wrong with him. He has a FULL beard. like half way down his neck, has some weird gum disease in which he has no teeth whatsoever. and he smells SOOOO bad i literally had to hurry and walk away really fast to e. so luke is all weirded out so he sends the new guy, sam, to watch this newest weirdo addition to OMX to make sure he does'nt swipe some shi.

Meanwhile, a very elderly man walks in with who i'm guessing is his grandson. Now the grandson has carrot red hair and his doing that techno energy ball move and he's walking around OMX. at this point, me and e are totally bewildered trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Luke walks by and was like "i was gonna ask c. if WOW was down tonight becuase all the weirdo's are in here." HAHAH of course this makes me and e. bust up laughing. but it gets better.

So eventually the stinky gum disease man peaces out and the very elderly man and techno-energy-ball grandson come to the register. The man thanks us, tells e and me and we are excellent employees and walks out the first automatic door. before the door has a chance to close, the man walks back in. he comes to me and e at the register, sits down ON the register, and begins to tell us about how he used to work for the IRS and how its not personal anymore. me and e are used to odd costumers telling us stories, so we just sit htere and nod our heads and say, "oh really? wow, yeah. wow. yeah. great!" stuff like that. so finally he heads out the first door again.

BUT before it has a chance to close fully, he COMES BACK IN!! sits on the register again, and, while muching on a york patty, tells us how he once bought a bag of chocolate for a crossing gaurd who was nice to him. by now, me and e are shaking trying so hard not to laugh. my face was bright red from holding my breath and laughing inside, and e and i know that we can NOT look at eachother. so he finally leaves, and we both just start crying. like skip the whole laughing till you cry part, we just went straight to the crying. we were laughing SOOOOOO hard. it was nuts. so. that was our night. there's more, but e can post that.