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2.12.2016

Hillary Surprised So Many Americans Recall Kissinger a War Criminal

LAST UPDATED @ 11:25PM (2.12.2016)

Hillary Clinton is surprised her good friend and foreign policy counselor Henry Kissinger is still remembered by so many Americans as a war criminal for actions he advised President Richard Nixon to take in Vietnam and Cambodia.

Secretary of State Henry A. Kissinger using a telephone outside of a prison cell.Public Domain Image

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was genuinely surprised so many Americans still recalled her close friend and foreign policy counselor Henry Kissinger was a war criminal guilty of genocide. Clinton also confessed she was not surprised U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - her chief rival - remembered former Secretary of State Kissinger was a horrible person directly responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent people due to Sanders being "very, very old."

"I'm just shocked so many Americans still remember the deaths of millions of innocent people Kissinger was largely responsible for in Vietnam and Cambodia," stated Clinton, who shrugged and truly seemed at a loss to explain how information was carried down from one generation of Americans to another.

Secretary Clinton continued, "I mean, how many years have to go by before we just forget about someone being a war criminal responsible for genocide? When can I publicly admit I take foreign policy advice from my good friend Henry Kissinger? Does Nixon get any blame for listening to him?"

"Sure. Bernie Sanders remembers all the horrible things Kissinger did when he worked for President Nixon, because Bernie is very, very old. Like 800 or something," explained Clinton, who trailed off and started to mumble to herself.

An unidentified member of the press asked Secretary Clinton if she intended to continue to publicly acknowledge her close relationship with Kissinger now that there was clearly a political price to pay.