1. A morbidly obese Russian, comprised mostly of blubber, who tries to wrestle bears, but eats them instead. A humorless, emotionless automaton, who resembles Karnov. A Kio is found wearing the bloody, odiferous, pieces of what its devoured, claiming it’s a trophy and it’s a matter of Russian pride. A disgusting, fowl beast that doesn’t understand eating the dinner table is impolite.

2. A disease that effects Russians, that causes unusual hair growth, ugliness, and the urge to use kettle bells. Some side effects usually include weight gain, loss of soul, penile inversion, and the irritating favoritism of Monty python.
3. A group of individuals who only speak nerd, and who look Russian but are despised by both. A total Pinko who secretly wears shirts with pictures of Stalin and spends his free time reading the communist manifesto.
4. You know what…" Fuck you."

Oleg: "So..have you had a chance to meet my newborn son kio?"
Jon: "Yes, I love the hammer and sickle you had tattooed all over his entire face."
Will: "I'm the worst person in the world."
Oleg: " At least you're not a Kio."
Bob:" Why is it that Sam over there is pounding his chest and stapling a wig to his forehead?"
Jim: "He's a kio."
Sam: "How am I going to win a farting contest with someone who smells like shit?"
Oleg: "You cannot play such childish games with a KIo.. we are unaffected by odor, and decency!"