Darlings, whoever came up with the idea of putting fully made up drag queens in front of a high-powered fan deserves a raise. And an Emmy.

Mike Ruiz never met a sleeve he liked.

But we’ll take a soldier any day of the week. Especially shirtless soldiers built like porn stars.

Especially shirtless soldiers built like porn stars who are also open to having their nipples played with. Oh, this show does tend to hit all our buttons, kittens.

Enough drooling. Let’s cut some bitches.

It’s not bad, but Miss Jujubee is clearly putting her co-stars to sleep.

Tatianna: “I was excited because fans make everything prettier.” Spoken like a queen who’s been lip-synching into a hairbrush since she could hold one.

Miss Sonique knows how to bring the drama. Well done, except she covered up her co-stars.

Ru says, “Pandora’s box is on FIRE!” And frankly, we can’t add to that.

Jessica Wild also needs to work on her posing. That is not a fierce pose and you can’t see her face clearly. Bad queen.

Mystique can work a lens. And Mystique knows when you are surrounded by meatsicles, you don’t take your hands off them unless they burst into flames.

Morgan: Well, she clearly decided she was more important than her co-stars and to be honest, we would expect no less from a queen. It’s a good pose, but she should have utilized the meat props a little more.

Nicole Paige Brooks: Honey. You’re not posing for pictures at Sears. Bring it next time, mkay?

Sahara: We don’t know WHAT the hell she’s doing here.

Tyra Sanchez: “I was trying my hardest to be perfect.”

Tyra honey, it shows. If she’s constantly worried about being the prettiest she’s never gonna bring the fierceness this competition requires. Step it up, china doll.

Mediocre.

Miss Raven brought it and then she took it with her when she left. The clear winner. Focused, posed dramatically, and all the light is on her face. Bitch knows exactly what she’s doing.