Witness Protection

How many times have you been stopped in your tracks while going about your day, minding your own business and someone asks you "do you go to church?" or "do you know the lord jesus christ as your personal savior?"
EEEEEEK!!! Are you not totally offended? Well I am! It happens quite a bit here where I live.

Does anyone have some good stories to share about their experiences and how you dealt with it?

Replies to This Discussion

I was fifteen and very naive, as a consequence I told a door to door'er that I wasn't interested in talking religion because I was an atheist. Until I moved from that house I had frequent requests for conversation from various parishioners after that. I did however learn my lesson.

I had a old woman come to my door with a little girl and asked if I heard the word of god.I told her no I don't believe and she asked so you think everything was a accident.I told her it makes more sense than the christian explanation all the while she is holding her hands over the little girls ears. LOL

I'm a physical therapist in a nursing home and I get this question about every day. I don't make it a point to be offensive because I have a good job and didn't proselytize when I was a christian so why should I start now. I do think that if I got as adamant about my disbelief as they did about their belief I would soon be unemployed. Well that's how it goes in small town Alabama, you have the unalienable right endowed upon you by your creator to keep your heathen mouth shut, stop asking questions and just believe. Amen LOL

I've never actually done this to door to door ministers, but now that I think about it, I think it would be kind of funny. Has anybody ever actually treated these people like sales pitchers and said "I'm not interested in your product endorsement?" I bet that would probably blow a few gaskets.

It hasn't happened in awhile but the last time someone asked me if i believed in god i replied "I am an atheist because the Bible is easily refuted and does not meet my criteria for evidence of a superior entity that would justify me living my life by the standards of said false entity." after the "blink blink huh" look. They bring out the strawman army.

"Oh so you believe all this was just due to random chance."
"Actually no because evolution doesn't work under random chance. Neither does any scientifically valid theory. Chance is a non sequitur."

"So you believe we evolved from apes. If so why are there still apes?"
"Man and ape evolved from a common ancestor. The idea that man evolved from ape is misinformation started by creationists."

The Bananaman argument sometimes comes into play..
"Airplanes are designed, coke cans are designed so this world which has so much complexity could not have come about by chance. Creation is logical."
"The idea that simply because manufactured objects are designed does not directly mean that natural phenomenon was also designed. Such a statement is actually not logical."

If you actually engage in debate with these people it is amazing at how little they know about the things they are told NOT to believe. I always use the "back off man i'm a scientist." approach. I rarely get the "Where do morals come from." argument but i have ammo for that.

I also love the "You just hate God." or the "You're just mad at God." statement. That can be countered with "Your equating that i am somehow disatisfied with god makes as much sense as me being upset with santa for me not getting what i wanted for christmas. It is not logical for me to have ill will towards something that i do not believe in."

I think the next time one shows up on my door steps I'm just gonna wait for the pitch line then grab him and give him a looooong slow back rubbing hug. Then invite him in to talk about fairytales. Wonder how that's gonna go? hmmm.

Well I live in a little Texan town with more churches than brain cells. When we first moved here people didn't know us and wanted to try and get us to join their church. At least once a week we'd have some well dressed, book-toting, pushy, Christ-o-matic waltz up our driveway and ask us if we'd accepted Jesus into our hearts.Well, being my family they made the mistake of addressing, we couldn't sit idly by and act courteous to those coming onto our property (Our house isn't exactly near the road) and pushing their beliefs on us. Especially after we'd nicely declined but would see the same person maybe a month after.

Finally I got so fed up that once when I answered the door and they said "Do you know where you'll be going when you die?" I said "Yes, I fucking do, do you want me to show you?"

I was rewarded with wide eyes and an offensive gasp.They never came back, nor did any religious solicitors. Sweet, peaceful, isolation.