Money and Relationships: Comprehensive Guide

19.11.2018

Money in relationships between men and women play a huge role, from the very first moments of dating. She "reads" information about a man from the first steps: did he bring flowers for a date? To what restaurant did he invite her? Or to which cinema? Or maybe it’s the opera premiere with the stars? He, in turn, consciously or unconsciously notes: does she wrinkle her nose in a restaurant? Maybe she doesn’t love this cuisine or was she counting on "5 stars"? Did her eyes light up at the sight of my car?

All these questions of money and relationships do not disappear with time. They transform, mimic and their degree of significance increases markedly. You must understand this in the very early stages of your relationship, before making the decision to live under one roof. Money is very important. We will try to solve the issue of money and relationships from all possible sides. Listen to our advice to ensure that the financial life of your couple is as comfortable and harmonious as possible.

Reasons Money Matters in Relationships

Your relationship depends on the stability of the financial ground under your feet. Most likely, many of you will now start arguing with me. After all, everyone around says that absolutely everything is subject to love. Love knows no barriers. Finance and relationships aren’t something from the common ground Yes, partly it is so. Love is blind, especially at first. You can easily forget about the important role that money plays in our lives. For you, the question of wealth will be reduced to the regularity of visiting restaurants, cinema and the cost of gifts for important dates. But the role of money does not end there. Love, to develop and not to fade, needs a roof. Reliable rear. The house where it is warm and full. And as you know, heat and food cost money. Many understand the connection between finance and relationships too late. Even the loveliest, the most charming love stories end in complete collapse due to the fact that the partners do not decide how to deal with the financial side of family life.

Below you will see several reasons that certainly prove the importance of money in a relationship. We hope that you will read them and draw the appropriate conclusions.

You must be equal in everything - including money

To develop harmonious relationships, you must strive for complete equality. This is also relevant to the financial issue. Equality is a very multifaceted concept, in each pair, it is interpreted in its own way. But no matter what interpretation you follow, you need to come to a common opinion and resolve this issue. You should not think that equality in money is a division of the budget 50/50. In fact, such a division is quite rare. It often happens that one of the partners earns significantly more than the other and they have their own plans for this difference in money. In this case, the separation of financial responsibilities may help you.

It may turn out that you’ll have to financially support someone

There is nothing wrong with knowing your partner’s financial situation. Information about how much your loved one earns is the information for which you have every right. Especially in the period when your relationship goes to a new level and you decide to live together. We do not encourage you to secretly keep track of your partner’s finances or check their bank account every time they receive a salary. But you must clearly know that your partner will not move to your home with the words "I am bankrupt and we will live on your money now." Hardly you will like it. It’s a very important thing in money and marriage topic.

You must be ready to provide financial support to your partner

Probably, after reading the previous paragraph, you thought that I was a mercantilist cynic. But it is not. Everyone has a hard time. A person may lose his job or even decide to change the type of activity - at such moments you should be ready to support your loved one. To do this, you need to clearly understand the state of your financial affairs, otherwise, it will end in a destructive and senseless conflict that can drag on for a very long time. Talk in advance about how you see money and marriage question.

Conversation with Your Partner About Money

It is very important to speak frankly about money with your partner. Do it every time you don't like something or have an idea. Such a conversation can prevent a whole galaxy of scandals. It is an essential thing in our couples and money guide.

Talk about the goals you want to achieve in marriage. Perhaps this is buying a home. Or the birth of a child. Or maybe you want to start a family business? Whatever the reason is, voice it and discuss it. Leave as few unsolved questions as possible in your relationship. This way the couples and money topic won’t be something annoying for you anymore.

Assess with your partner your current financial situation. It may seem to you that you spend too much and because of this, you are slowly moving towards your financial goal. Perhaps you have a ready-made solution. Or your partner has it. Talk to each other.

Discuss the attitude to the money of each of you. Are you better able to save money or spend it?:) What does your partner think about this? Surely they have thoughts that hey would like to share. Finding out how you feel about money, it will be easier for you to plan a budget.

Identify financial liabilities. Who will keep track of your budget? Who will take care of buying food and paying Netflix, and who should keep track of utility bills? These are all great reasons to talk, after which your financial life will become easier.

Sharing Your Finances: Things to Consider

Love can make you blind. You will lose vigilance and begin to ignore many important things related to money. Thousands of people fall into this trap every day. In order to avoid unpleasant surprises, read a few facts about sharing finances.

Joint loan. This is a very serious thing about money in relationships that you need to take good care of. If the loan is issued on you, be prepared for the fact that in the event of the end of your relationship, you will bear all the financial responsibility for this. Therefore, carefully negotiate everything with your better half before taking a loan which you cannot pay alone.

Utilities. If the bills come only in your name, then, in fact, you are the only person responsible for their timely payment. Of course, you can negotiate and pay the bills in turn, but the main responsibility will still be on you.

Guarantee on a loan. Many people make the same mistake: they act as a guarantor of a loan for their partners, friends, and relatives without regard to their financial background. Often this leads to the fact that the person who took the loan, cannot pay it off and you have to do it instead of him. Extremely unpleasant situation.

Do not sign financial documents if you have not studied them. Even if your partner assures you that these documents do not oblige you to anything, you must read them yourself. If you do not understand something, ask a lawyer for help. Sometimes a lawyer can tell about money in relationships more than any family psychologist.

How Not to Let Money Ruin Your Relationships

Money can ruin your relationship. It is a fact. But this can be prevented if you follow our recommendations.

Perhaps the problem is not money

It often happens that a problem that seems to arise from the financial side of living together has completely different roots. For example, your partner lacks love. Money becomes just an occasion for you to pay attention to him or her. Also, problems with self-esteem can mimic as money problems. You need to honestly analyze your behavior or the behavior of your partner.

Talk about money at the right time

If you feel that your partner is stressed or in a bad mood, do not talk about money. Discussing who should pay questions at this moment is the worst thing you can do. In such conditions, no one can think constructively. You will not achieve a rational decision and quarrel even more.

Understand your partner’s attitude toward money

Perhaps you just treat them differently. Someone likes to save, and someone likes to invest. Both options have the right to life. Communicate with each other.

Tips for Young Couples to Build Wealth

Study each other's earnings. This will help you to have a complete financial picture in your union. Do not hide your expenses and discuss large purchases - this approach guarantees harmony and prosperity.

Develop communication about money. It is very important. Decide who should pay for these things, and who should pay for those. You must have a compromise solution regarding all financial aspects. If you know that your partner saves better than you, trust him or her with this. If you know better where and when to invest money, argue it.

Arrange financial priorities. For young people it is difficult. But the sooner you master this skill, the better it is. If you have a large loan, focus on resolving this issue as soon as possible. Do not burden yourself with new loans. This will greatly facilitate your life.

Save 15% (or more) of your income. In life, there are unforeseen situations. Most often this is a situation in which you may need money. If you save each month a portion of your income, nothing can take you by surprise. This is a very useful thing. In addition, by the end of the year, you will be able to afford a large purchase, which you have long dreamed of.

What is More Important: Money or Relationships

Of course, real human relations are much more important than money. In a difficult moment, when you do not have a penny, only the best friends and relatives with whom you are in good relationships will be able to give you a helping hand.

But money gives you an obvious advantage. It’s a paradox, but without money, it is very difficult to build a strong relationship. After all, money is a very important tool for socialization. Without them, no one will take you seriously. But if you are with money and single, no one will judge you. This is a world of paradoxes and contradictions, but you have your mind and heart - the best guides that will help you make the right decisions regarding relationships and money.