Courage Magazine

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Lisamet
John about 15years ago.
He was charming, loving and even after
overa
year of
dating they still
lived a part. John respected her in every way. "I
thought hewas
'It' for me…you're so in
love and you ignore the tell tale signs," explains
Lisa, "I also grew
up in a home where domestic violence was present.
John had proposed to me a few times but would never mean
it, like it was a joke or a game." The signs
later became noticeable, "It started with verbal
abuse. He would say 'You're not good
enough. You should change jobs. Work somewhere
else. Make more money'. There was no pleasing
him." John grew abusive.

Lisa and John
would occasionally go out with his friends.
Johnwould drink
and become loud,
obnoxious
and increasingly abusive toward Lisa in
public. Friends would ask him to leave her
alone but that was not enough to convince him stop.
During one of these outings, John began
degrading Lisa
again in front of his friends.
Lisa
had decided enough was enough and
defended herself byspeaking
up. Johnbecame
so enraged at Lisa that he took her by the chin, picking
her up off the floor, digging his fingernails into her
cheeks until she began to bleed. John's
friends tried to stop him and pleaded with Lisa to leave
but she did not. John later told family and friends
that Lisa's injuriescame
from boxes and
a filing cabinet that fell on her. Yet another
violent episode with John
left Lisa with a displaced jaw and missing teeth.
Johnagain would
tell family and friends that this too resulted from
another accident.

Lisa visited John's father after this last episode of
violence to get his help with money that belonged to her
that John had been controlling. He looked at Lisa and
saw the lingering deformities from her injuries on her
face. His conscious ate at him. "He looks into
my eyes and tells me 'I thought things would be different.'
"Different what
do you mean?" Lisa recalls her asking him. There Lisa
learned from John's fatherthat John
hadabused his last
girlfriend for 13 years. That is when Lisa's tears
began to fall and they both cried
together.
By that time, Lisa and John had beentogether for 7
years. She knew without any doubt that her
relationship was more than unhealthy, it would get her
killed and she needed to get out. One day while John
was at work she rented a moving truck and began
packing. "John's best friend walked in and saw
I was in the process of trying to get everything out of our
home and says 'What
took you so long?' and he helped me packed." Lisa
left that night with the moving truck and all her
possessions, but not before John got back home from work to
witness her leaving.

It
was not until several weeks later, Lisa found out she
waspregnant with
theirbaby.
Uncertain
and scared, she
went back to John but the growing baby inside her did not
stop John and the violencecontinued, "He
threw me across the room and even put me
out
inthe
hall naked," Lisa recounts. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr.
Hyde, John's moods would change even regarding the
unborn child they were having. One minute he was excited
and expressed joy then within seconds, he would pick up the
phone and threaten Lisa to abort the baby, that having the
baby would mess up her life evengiving
ultimatums toget rid of it or
else... Five months later Lisa packed her bags and left
again, this time not only for her safety but for that of
her unborn child.

Lisa gave birth to a beautiful girl after she finally left
John. "I went to stay at a friend's house I thought
he didn't know about and he found us so that's when I went
to live in a shelter." But even the shelter
posed another dilemma, "They would not
allow us (the residence) to work yet gave us3
months to get ourselves together to find work and housing.
It's a catch 22, you can't get huone without the
other. I saw a few other residents fail to do so and
they were sent to emergency homeless shelter.
Emergency shelter also was not an option because they make
you leave during the day and you can only sleep there at
night in an open room with cots."

Lisa and her daughter has also moved 16 times in 10 years
because of stalking, harassments and threats from her
ex.
Despite the struggles that Lisa and her daughter have faced
to just have their basic needs met like housing,
transportation, stability and safety, they
continue to
rebuild their lives.

Furthermore,
Lisa has realized a dream.
Lisa,
aformer model,
loved being in front of the camera butalso
loves beingbehind it.
She has been accepted into one of the most
prestigious
colleges for photography, the Hallmark
Institute. GreenNote.comis a
fiscal sponsor who
is collecting donations on her behalf to raise
tuition so she can attend Hallmark this fall of September
2010. To view Lisa's profile on GreenNote.com and donate toward her tuition,
click here. One of Lisa's
goals by going to
photography school is to graduate with the tools
andmethods she
needs so she can work in places like law
enforcementand putting
faces to the victims of domestic violence to help them
understand just how beautiful they are.

Additionally,
Lisa haslaunched a
website called LAS Photography to showcase her
stunning porfolio that includes people, nature, artifacts,
collectibles and other objects. Lisa understands that
her gift to capture the essence of life with
the lens is a gift that she wants to use to help
others. "Domestic violence is a story that others
need to knowabout.
Often people do not believe it is happening until they
actually see it. A photo tells a story and this story
and those of other victims and survivors needs to be
told."

Lisa is a photographer, survivor and
major contributor to the Courage Network blog titled
Courage
Magazine.

All photography in this blog post
is owned by Lisa Sammons. Do not
duplicate.
All rights reserved.

Comments

10 Comments

=) only photo not done by me is the first one with the scarf. My
daughter Piper whom I am teaching photography to took that one of
me. Love it & she did a great job. Thanks Lynn for the
interview. I hope my story inspires others to speak out, give them
strength & helps. We all have a dream & sometimes when we
think all is lost someone helps us get there.

In my attempts to network & change direction in life for the
better for my daughter & self, it appears that my opportunity
to attend Hallmark this fall because of tuition is failing. I think
now I am going to cry. What direction now?? Feeling a bit lost
again.

This article is linked to a few other places so I wanted to share
the blogs I have already done here on issues of DV. One that
relates to why she stays if questioning why anyone would go back to
an abuser. Many do not understand why.
http://www.couragenetwork.com/magazine/read/domestic-violence--why-she-stays_39.html
Other Blogs I have written:
http://www.couragenetwork.com/members/profile/93/blog

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Joyce Andersen hey girl, one out of 3 women will be sexually
assaulted or physically abused by the time they are 30.
July 26 at 6:13pm · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading... ·
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Julie Olomon Simpson What a good article Lisa!! You are an amazing
person!
July 26 at 6:18pm · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading... ·
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L.a. Sammons
Well, those that already know most of this what few there are or
were I should say this isn't new news. However I figure it may help
others if doing what all survivors should do, "SPEAK OUT". I did in
the interview they asked me if I would ...share. Breaking the chain
on my end was the first step for me & if it helps someone else
then that makes it all the better. System is still really messed up
for aiding & helping & some states don't acknowledge there
is a problem as much as there is truthfully. Which is sad for those
seeking help because you can't do it alone. I had support &
help. Not an easy road but time to get my life back on my terms not
someone else's. See More
July 26 at 6:24pm · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading... ·
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Susan Shaw Bravo Lisa, your determination and drive are awesome
!
July 26 at 7:40pm · UnlikeLike · 2 peopleLoading... ·
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Eeva-Maija Maula Wow Lisa, you have great courage ♥ I am not a
victim of physical abuse but my ex was a narcissist, so I have some
idea...
July 27 at 12:43am · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading... ·
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Tara Hall WOW Lisa...you are a strong woman, really. Good for
you!!
July 27 at 6:53am · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading... ·
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L.a. Sammons
He wasn't the first abusive relationship but surely was the last.
Fact that children who grow up in this kind of environment think
it's normal. Removing myself & daughter whose never seen it is
the first step to breaking the chain so she ac...knowledges it
isn't normal nor acceptable. Her karate will help too she'll be
able to kick some ass if it does, where I didn't when it happened
not to say I didn't fight back. Courage Network did another blog I
did for their magazine that so many don't understand either:
http://www.couragenetwork.com/magazine/read/domestic-violence--why-she-stays_39.htmlSee
More
July 27 at 7:33am · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading... ·
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Paula McManus well done for speaking out Lisa, you're an
inspiration and you should be so very proud of yourself! xx
July 29 at 7:07pm · UnlikeLike · 1 person

THANK YOU COURAGE NETWORK ON TWITTER FOR REPOSTING &
RETWEETING! Many have & I thank all of you for your efforts as
it is what got me my Co-signer!!

Story of survivor has the "Strength to Persevere" after domestic
violence: http://tinyurl.com/23vap47 #domesticviolence #art
#photography 9:11 PM Jul 30th via web
Many have retweeted this on Twitter! Thank You for your
support!!

Story of one survivor who has the "Strength to Persevere" after
domestic violence and with photography: http://tinyurl.com/23vap47
#art 5:49 PM Jul 27th via web Retweeted by you and 4 others

Complications & more on how this ends on each of the linked
sites & here to follow soon. So get ready for another Blog spot
by this writer for all of you following me here, facebook, twitter
of huffington post!! It's all in Sallie Mae's hands now. Update
soon!!

Thank you Sherry! =) Sadly forgot to update this. Salley Mae
refused my co-signer. Found regardless of how old you are wanting
to go back to school that credit makes all the difference on my end
regardless of co-signer help. Sadly after many moves over DV hard
to keep things above ground all the time as a single mom doing
everything without help. Salley Mae refused to give reasons as to
why they refused my co-signer who is an attorney for 20 yrs now
& established business of his own while still working for
another firm for several years. I did not get to go to this awesome
college opportunity. I did not have enough in funds or tuition even
from state loans & grants. =( However, another blog does need
to get done on this one.

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