Author
Topic: People who knock on your door... (Read 8839 times)

OP, there was no way you were rude. I think I would have been uncomfortable in that situation as well.

My late MIL once answered the door to a salesman who was giving away free baking dishes (similar to Corning Ware) if you listened to his speech. This was the late 1950s/early 1960s. She politely declined taking the dish through the screen door but the salesman tried opening the door and insisted she take the dish. She grabbed my FIL's hunting rifle that was next to the door and pointed it at the guy and said "I said no thank you". She told me she could hear him running all the way down the road. I really miss her sometimes.

I used to answer the door to whomever rang. Say, 'Sorry, I'm not interested' and close the door. Until the day a guy stuck his foot in to prevent me from closing the door. Whereby I said, 'Remove your foot or I'm calling the cops.' He did.

There was an incident where a man somehow got into the dorm I lived in and tried to follow a girl into her dorm room (which was a few doors down from mine). She slammed the door (very heavy, fire-resistant door) closed to keep him out, but he had his foot blocking the door from closing.

When the police arrived, they had to carry the guy out to the ambulance because 3 out of his 5 metatarsals (the bones that make up the arch of the foot) had been shattered.

Good for her! And having spent a few years working with police officers, I'm guessing they were having trouble not grinning when they realized what had happened. When I was in college, there were guys sneaking into the dorm and checking for unlocked rooms so they could steal stuff. I'd actually take my keys into the shower with me, because there were incidents of people reaching into the outer part of the shower where you could leave clothes, etc. and taking keys.

OP, you were absolutely not rude. I'd have done the same thing if I'd even opened the door in the first place. (But then, in the same situation, my DH would have said something and not just knocked, so I'd have probably have realized it wasn't him.)

OP, there was no way you were rude. I think I would have been uncomfortable in that situation as well.

My late MIL once answered the door to a salesman who was giving away free baking dishes (similar to Corning Ware) if you listened to his speech. This was the late 1950s/early 1960s. She politely declined taking the dish through the screen door but the salesman tried opening the door and insisted she take the dish. She grabbed my FIL's hunting rifle that was next to the door and pointed it at the guy and said "I said no thank you". She told me she could hear him running all the way down the road. I really miss her sometimes.

I love that!

When we first moved here 3 years ago we had people trying to convince us to go to their church. None of them were denominations I was interested in attending simply because, well I know what I like in a service and I knew they didn't do it that way and the church I did attend and the one I do now aren't door to door churches. Some people were content to just give me their pamphlet and move on while others didn't want to take no for an answer.

Anyway one guy was particularly persistent. "Come on out to our church, it's good for the kids!" "No thanks, we don't attend church" (we didn't at the time)"You must, you need to, don't you boys (my kids had been playing on the porch) want to have fun in church?""Mom can we please go!" I looked at the guy and said "No, we don't go to church, and we will not be going to yours."The guy said "Well we (we being him and another guy) have a van here so you can stay home and we'll pick your boys up and take them to church with us!"

Now let me tell you that sent warning bells off in my head and I told him absolutely not, my children do not go off in vans to churches I don't attend with men I don't know, thank you. They wouldn't even go off to a church I don't attend with women I don't know. I still shudder when I think of it.

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

OP, there was no way you were rude. I think I would have been uncomfortable in that situation as well.

My late MIL once answered the door to a salesman who was giving away free baking dishes (similar to Corning Ware) if you listened to his speech. This was the late 1950s/early 1960s. She politely declined taking the dish through the screen door but the salesman tried opening the door and insisted she take the dish. She grabbed my FIL's hunting rifle that was next to the door and pointed it at the guy and said "I said no thank you". She told me she could hear him running all the way down the road. I really miss her sometimes.

I love that!

When we first moved here 3 years ago we had people trying to convince us to go to their church. None of them were denominations I was interested in attending simply because, well I know what I like in a service and I knew they didn't do it that way and the church I did attend and the one I do now aren't door to door churches. Some people were content to just give me their pamphlet and move on while others didn't want to take no for an answer.

Anyway one guy was particularly persistent. "Come on out to our church, it's good for the kids!" "No thanks, we don't attend church" (we didn't at the time)"You must, you need to, don't you boys (my kids had been playing on the porch) want to have fun in church?""Mom can we please go!" I looked at the guy and said "No, we don't go to church, and we will not be going to yours."The guy said "Well we (we being him and another guy) have a van here so you can stay home and we'll pick your boys up and take them to church with us!"

Now let me tell you that sent warning bells off in my head and I told him absolutely not, my children do not go off in vans to churches I don't attend with men I don't know, thank you. They wouldn't even go off to a church I don't attend with women I don't know. I still shudder when I think of it.

Last week, DH was going out for the evening. It was just after dinner time, but already fully dark outside. DH went out with some things to put in his car, and a minute later the doorbell rang and there was a loud, impatient banging on the door. I thought it was DH, having forgot his keys or something else he needed, and went to answer it, only to find a tall, unfamiliar man holding a stack of flyers on our porch. The door was already open -- I hadn't looked because I thought it was DH -- and I was flustered and uncomfortable that I'd just opened it for a complete stranger. I didn't feel particularly safe. I said, "Hi, sorry, I can't do this right now" and the man thrust a flyer at me and I took it automatically. He said, "If I could just have a minute to tell you about this --" and I gave the flyer back to him, saying, "Sorry, I can't right now" and shut the door in his face while he was still trying to tell me about whatever it was.

I never did look at the flyer to see what it was about. DH had JUST left (this guy must have seen him leaving) and I was alone with DS. But I've felt rude ever since. Was I?

Nope. The bolded bits really set off my hinky meter. You behaved politely, he was rude, and as for shutting the door in his face, as a PP said, safety trumps etiquette. At the very least he's a lousy salesman, but his behavior seems rather suspicious to me.

I do have an amusing door-to-door salesman story if you all would like a little levity.

My grandfather told me this story - I believe it happened to his stepmother. :-) Long ago, I believe when wood-burning stoves were in common indoor use (or some similar setup that caused people's ceilings to become darkened and sooty), a salesman came calling selling some sweeper he said was guaranteed to clean all the soot from her ceiling. Before she could stop him, he demonstrated. It worked - left a noticeable clean spot on the ceiling. I don't recall if she bought one or not, but she did make him clean the rest of the ceiling before she let him leave.

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What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

Wow. The worst I've ever had in terms of pushy sales people was with an 'overly enthusiastic' Boy Scout mother outside the local Walmart.

Boyfriend and I where leaving and a mother with 2-3 young boys (I'd say around 8-10) where at their little booth selling popcorn tins. One boy was bouncing up and down in front of the booth right in the space people have to pass through when exiting the building through the designated 'exit' door side.The boy was just energetically shouting about buying this and that and so on, not walking up to anyone in particular but just speaking to the crowds coming and going as a whole.

Boyfriend and I passed by and I just smiled and nodded to the young boy as we went by him, but did not address him or show interest in buying. As we passed by I heard his mother say to him in a snotty tone "Some people are just rude".

Yeah lady, like you and your kid taking up the sidewalk to yell sales pitches at strangers

Going back to the OP;No, you are absolutely not rude. When at any time an individual feels uncomfortable, scared, in danger, or in any sort of way just feels 'off' about something it is never 'rude' to forcefully remove yourself from that situation. If it means shutting the door on someone, hanging up during a telephone call, refusing to speak to someone or outright walking away from a situation then you do what you have to in order to feel safe.

You were absolutely not rude. For all you know he could have been casing your house or had a completely innocent reason to be there. You have no idea and you did what kept you safe. American homes are shockingly easy to break into and we don't have to armor our houses usually unless we are really, really rich. I say this because I grew up in a 3rd world country in one of the most violent cities in the world. Never, ever, distrust that voice that tells you Danger, Danger. Shutting the door could have very well saved your life. It felt rude because we are taught that we should be open and welcoming to all, that we should tolerate others behavior even if it makes us uncomfortable. There is a vast difference between uncomfortable and feeling a sense of danger. Uncomfortable is sitting next to someone on the bus who needs a shower, danger is opening the door to pounding and not finding who you expect. You did the right thing.

I usually have the reason of I am sorry you I can't hear you over my dogs. A funny tid bit. The SCHWAN man won't come to my house any more because of how my dogs react when DH isn't home. He told me one day while laughing that if I wanted any thing to tell my dear friend up the street and he would see me there.

My dogs are an 80 lb boxer, 110 lb hunting dog and a very old girl at 240 lb mastiff. I feel fully justified in not opening the door, I am protecting the poor sales guy :-)

OP, there was no way you were rude. I think I would have been uncomfortable in that situation as well.

My late MIL once answered the door to a salesman who was giving away free baking dishes (similar to Corning Ware) if you listened to his speech. This was the late 1950s/early 1960s. She politely declined taking the dish through the screen door but the salesman tried opening the door and insisted she take the dish. She grabbed my FIL's hunting rifle that was next to the door and pointed it at the guy and said "I said no thank you". She told me she could hear him running all the way down the road. I really miss her sometimes.

I love that!

When we first moved here 3 years ago we had people trying to convince us to go to their church. None of them were denominations I was interested in attending simply because, well I know what I like in a service and I knew they didn't do it that way and the church I did attend and the one I do now aren't door to door churches. Some people were content to just give me their pamphlet and move on while others didn't want to take no for an answer.

Anyway one guy was particularly persistent. "Come on out to our church, it's good for the kids!" "No thanks, we don't attend church" (we didn't at the time)"You must, you need to, don't you boys (my kids had been playing on the porch) want to have fun in church?""Mom can we please go!" I looked at the guy and said "No, we don't go to church, and we will not be going to yours."The guy said "Well we (we being him and another guy) have a van here so you can stay home and we'll pick your boys up and take them to church with us!"

Now let me tell you that sent warning bells off in my head and I told him absolutely not, my children do not go off in vans to churches I don't attend with men I don't know, thank you. They wouldn't even go off to a church I don't attend with women I don't know. I still shudder when I think of it.

Some evangelical churches will do that- it's to get a shot at recruiting the kids without their parent's consent.

Logged

If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,Five things observe with care,To whom you speak,Of whom you speak,And how, and when, and where.Caroline Lake Ingalls

OP, there was no way you were rude. I think I would have been uncomfortable in that situation as well.

My late MIL once answered the door to a salesman who was giving away free baking dishes (similar to Corning Ware) if you listened to his speech. This was the late 1950s/early 1960s. She politely declined taking the dish through the screen door but the salesman tried opening the door and insisted she take the dish. She grabbed my FIL's hunting rifle that was next to the door and pointed it at the guy and said "I said no thank you". She told me she could hear him running all the way down the road. I really miss her sometimes.

I love that!

When we first moved here 3 years ago we had people trying to convince us to go to their church. None of them were denominations I was interested in attending simply because, well I know what I like in a service and I knew they didn't do it that way and the church I did attend and the one I do now aren't door to door churches. Some people were content to just give me their pamphlet and move on while others didn't want to take no for an answer.

Anyway one guy was particularly persistent. "Come on out to our church, it's good for the kids!" "No thanks, we don't attend church" (we didn't at the time)"You must, you need to, don't you boys (my kids had been playing on the porch) want to have fun in church?""Mom can we please go!" I looked at the guy and said "No, we don't go to church, and we will not be going to yours."The guy said "Well we (we being him and another guy) have a van here so you can stay home and we'll pick your boys up and take them to church with us!"

Now let me tell you that sent warning bells off in my head and I told him absolutely not, my children do not go off in vans to churches I don't attend with men I don't know, thank you. They wouldn't even go off to a church I don't attend with women I don't know. I still shudder when I think of it.

Some evangelical churches will do that- it's to get a shot at recruiting the kids without their parent's consent.

I used to answer the door to whomever rang. Say, 'Sorry, I'm not interested' and close the door. Until the day a guy stuck his foot in to prevent me from closing the door. Whereby I said, 'Remove your foot or I'm calling the cops.' He did.

There was an incident where a man somehow got into the dorm I lived in and tried to follow a girl into her dorm room (which was a few doors down from mine). She slammed the door (very heavy, fire-resistant door) closed to keep him out, but he had his foot blocking the door from closing.

When the police arrived, they had to carry the guy out to the ambulance because 3 out of his 5 metatarsals (the bones that make up the arch of the foot) had been shattered.