You may have heard the about the New Jersey honor student who sued her parents for financial support. Rachel Canning, 18, voluntarily moved out of her parents’ home because she reportedly didn’t want to abide by their rules. They stopped all financial support. The teenager wants her parents to continue paying for her high school tuition, living and transportation costs and continue contributing to her college fund.

She’s currently back at home; the judge refused to force the parents to pay for her private high school education. She remains, however, on her parents’ health insurance plan. The parents were ordered not to touch her college savings account.

What prompts me to write about her is the vulgar and disrespectful phone message she allegedly left for her mother last week. After I relay that message to you, I’ll share a very important lesson to learn from this. Here is a transcript of the anger- and hate-filled message:

“Hi Mom. Just to let you know you’re a real [expletive] winner, aren’t you? You think you’re so cool and you think you caught me throwing up in the bathroom after eating an egg frittata. Yeah, sorry that you have problems now and you need to harp on mine because I didn’t, and I actually took a [expletive]; I really just wanna [expletive] all over your face right now because it looks like that anyway. Anyway, I [expletive] hate you and, um, I’ve written you off so don’t talk to me, don’t do anything. I’m blocking you from just about everything. Have a nice life. Bye, Mom.”

This emotionally volatile message from a daughter to her mother pains me. But it reminds me of one of my guiding principles in life: You can never take back something you say, but you can spend the rest of your life apologizing for it. Words can cut deeply and do real emotional damage.

I’m sure there will come a day when young Rachel wishes she hadn’t reacted with such anger and never said those words to her mother. At least I hope so. Unfortunately for Rachel, it’s too late to erase them from her mother’s ears, mind and heart.