Dog Jokes

What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie? "Well, doggone !"What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk ? A Great Dane out !What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog ? Chump chops !What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ? A petticoat !What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ? He was trying to make both ends meet !What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ? "I must throw that doggie out the window !"!What dogs are best for sending telegrams ? Wire haired terriers !!What do you call a happy Lassie ? A jolly collie !What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ? A dingo-ling !What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ? A bud hound !Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ? Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !What is the dogs favourite city ? New Yorkie !Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper? - A: RUFF!Q: What goes "krab, krab, krab"? - A: A dog barking in a mirror.Q: What side of the dog has the most fur? - A: The Outside.Q: Why does a dog wag it's tail? - A: No one else will do it for themTwo Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in oil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"Small girl: I'd buy that dog, but his legs are too short! Clerk: Too short ? Why, all four of them touch the floor.Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In bark-lays bank !