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Forgiveness

If you forgive you can be set free. If you fail to forgive you will live with the consequences.

There are certain people, and certain things that they have done, that we struggle to forgive. There is a part of us that is proud, proud that we are in control of the situation and maybe that we can pour out bad feeling onto the person who wronged us.

Sometimes it is obvious, when people make snide comments in their facebook statuses for the whole world to see. Sometimes it is totally hidden, and the negativity is carefully kept secret.

The terrible and ironic thing about unforgiveness is that, when we fail to forgive, it is not the original perpetrator who suffers most – it is yourself. A little unforgiveness in your life will leave you with a nagging discomfort in your soul, as if you are living in a room with a bad smell. However, should you build up the bitterness towards others, or obsess about a particular hurt that you were dealt, then an acrid poison will infiltrate your mind and your feelings. You will find it difficult to think straight because of the grip that bitterness has on you. It will control your thought processes so that you automatically think the worst of people and then hold onto those misguided feelings and you build negative, destructive feelings about people who have hardly done you any wrong.

Forgiveness is fresh and life giving. To employ an attitude of forgiveness is like having a perfectly tuned and clean engine. You will achieve more, you will feel more joy in life and you will enjoy being with other people, even those who have wronged you.

However, forgiveness is not easy. It is not a nice feeling that creeps upon you. Forgiveness is a choice. There are a few situations in my life that, for several days and weeks, I have had to repeat the sentence to myself, “I forgive _____, I forgive _______”. To begin with it has felt futile and, to be honest, made me feel stupid. But as time went on I began to feel neutral towards the other person. If I have continued with the positive thinking after the neutral stage than I have even begun to have positive thoughts about the person that I felt had dealt me a major wrong.