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I'm worried that I won't be able to handle labor, especially now that everyone is telling me nightmare stories about their deliveries. How can I stop feeling so anxious?

What type of labor story is a better tell? One filled with drama ("My water broke in the middle of the supermarket! I was the cause for the cleanup in aisle six!" "The hospital sent me home because I wasn't really in labor yet, and then I practically gave birth on the freeway!" "I was in back labor for 39 hours!") or one that's peaceful, calm, and hitch-free? Though there are probably as many happy birth experiences as there are hard-to-handle ones, an easy and uneventful labor and delivery doesn’t make such a compelling anecdote. Which means the good birth stories don't get told as many times as the bad ones do — and those that do often end up with post-production enhancements that make them sound a lot worse than they actually were.

Of course, it’s only natural to worry that your delivery will take a dramatic turn — just as it’s hard not to obsess about something (especially a painful something) you’ve never experienced. But the odds are excellent that your delivery will be one of the many happy and uneventful ones (though still pretty memorable). And if that doesn’t put your mind at ease for the rest of your pregnancy, consider the following:

Labor and delivery are a normal part of life. Childbirth is something women have been experiencing as long as…well, as long as there have been women. It comes with pain, sure, but it's a manageable pain with a positive purpose: to thin and open your cervix and, contraction by contraction, bring your sweet baby closer to cuddling in your arms. Plus, it’s a pain that comes with a time limit. You might not believe it (especially around the halfway point), but labor won't last forever. What’s more, it’s not a pain you have to endure at all if you’d rather not. Pain medication is always just a request away, should you end up needing it or wanting it. And if meds aren’t your thing, you can manage labor pain naturally through a variety of different complementary and alternative techniques, from deep breathing and visualization to acupressure and self-hypnosis.

Ignorance isn’t bliss. What you don’t know can hurt you much more than it should —especially when it comes to childbirth. The more you know, the better prepared (and less fearful) you’ll be. So read all about it (as you're doing now), take childbirth-preparation classes (and try to remember what you learned…breathe!), watch a childbirth video or two (popcorn anyone?), and keep talking to other new moms (though take those horror stories with a grain of salt…and maybe some of that popcorn too).

Labor loves company. Even if you don’t end up being miserable, you’ll still love company — even if you’re typically the shy type. And for some moms, the more labor support, the merrier (and calmer). Besides your partner (who will be there to coach and comfort), consider adding a doula (to advocate for you both, give you expert massages, and offer the soothing voice of experience that can best talk you down when you need it most), or a friend or relative (to wipe your brow, keep you laughing in spite of yourself, fetch snacks, work the video camera). In fact, depending on hospital policy (some allow an open door, some have crowd-control limits) — and if you really like an audience — you can even expand the guest list to include more friends and family (for a different kind of labor party). Of course, if you’d like to keep your baby’s arrival intimate (just the three of you and the necessary medical personnel), don’t feel obligated to issue invitations to everyone in your address book.

Don’t forget: Generations of women before you have labored, delivered, and lived to tell about (and embellish) it. Soon you will too!

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