How can we identify with a pizza delivery boy who's had a bomb strapped to his chest in a plot that steals the absolute worst parts from films like "Heat," "Speed" and "Speed 2: Cruise Control"? The answer is, we can't – not even a little bit.

Frankly, I think this whole "Bridges of Madison County" fiasco hasmade Clint soft. He ought to check into a rest home where he can needlepoint pictures of baby ducks and stop exposing his touchy-feely side in public.

("Antonia's Line") won the 1996 Oscar for BestForeign Language Film, which, rather than being an award based on quality, is usually the mark of a film the Academy found to be the least confusing among the nominated entrants.