Ditto!
I just sigh & think oh well. That saying has been part of my mantra since Neptune got out of Aqua, when it had been all over my natal sun, merc & Venus all in the 7th house. Hard lessons learnt.

My Goddess that’s precious and so resonant.. but honey Mystic, I hope your back get’s better? Perhaps a chance to Neptune out and stare dreamily at the ceiling as the late summer breeze wafts in? Take care hun.

Also suffering from a left sprained thumb and now a massive cold. And the worse thing? I coughed so hard it brought my period on a week early (or seemed to).

Well here’s a Thumbs Up to you Sweetness!
Sent Myst a get well soon because there is nothing better than a better you, a couple of posts back.
Injuries show activeness even uf they bail you up for a while.
Says she who is always tripping up & occasionally splattering.
Rest time for you both. Sending fast heal thoughts. xx

That is so worth thinking on / remembering. Thank you! I’ve been doing battle recently with my LZ tendencies (not killed by Venus Retro and no sign after either). Either I kill all hope dead before knowing which feels like drowning dreams/kittens or.. well, if I don’t, the maybes and fantasies and ‘this is impossibles’ return. And then I think – hang on, a minute – is this valuing myself, letting this take up valuable brain/emotional space.

So maybe I’m not so good at facing facts (esp when they aren’t in front of me) but this is what getting a grip would look like right – valuing myself and drawing a line based on that, no matter how viable the romance MAY turn out to be, epic even: this reclaims my power?

Phew. Been struggling with this one overnight. And get well soon MM – yes to restful, restorative Neptunian dreaming – good idea, Fallen Angel!

The full moon will conjunct my natal Uranus in Leo, astro.com describes it as “something different” , acting rashly, impulsively … same same
I wonder if there is any insurance for astro transits ? Would Aries have higher premiums ?

Hope you get better quickly Myst. Rest is the best for fast recovery x

I had read on some astrology site where they tested how many insurance claims were turned in for wrecks that Aries was among the better drivers! of course i also suspect Aries might not turn in small dings or might attempt car DIY fix too!

Ugh.. New love interest, dinner last night, great time and falling over with wanting to be close to him.. physically.. SIGH! I am trying to take it slow this time! This is crap! He is very interested but then he will be gone for who knows how long. ?? Do I or Don’t I! gag!!

Ok.. Mystic “Peeps”.. HELP ME!! This new guy who I like but doesn’t live where I live.. not yet anyway: I just got an email from an ex of his. I have girlfriends that are / were friends with her. So, the story goes from her he is trouble “Be careful”. I let him know about the contact and I said that we need to talk later. Is there any truth when an ex-gf shows up and throws dirt at guys?

(sigh) This email came from someone over 1000 miles away. Holy moly… I have no time for this crap!

i would def. heed her advice! I was in a similar situation back in the LZ fiasco of 2005. An ex told me about how psycho this guy was and i didn’t believe her. I was like….but i can still save him….nope…nope..nope.. can’t save crazy…can’t help someone who wants no help.

I didn’t heed the many red flags and warnings from friends, exs and a rape victim.
I paid dearly for my ignorance and naviety. He was obsessive,controlling, jealous, rageful and dangerous. Tried to kill me.
Listen to her, take notes see if they seem possible. She may save your life, and you may not know.

My jealous/controlling/insecure/bullying ex (prior to my accepting that he was all of those things and it wasn’t some “phase”), always referred to ALL of his ex girlfriends as crazy.HE WAS THE CRAZY ONE!

BINGO! I can’t say this enough and yes I know some of you guys are one of those “once I break up, me and the ex will always hate each other”-type, but if a person says every one of their exes is a bitch/psycho RUN! While there is a 1% chance it could be true. But chances are that person is the psycho NOT the exes. One of the first things I find out about a new person now is if they have had at least 3 bf/gf how many of those are they still on friends or “ok” terms with? If they say none, pretty much guaranteed psycho.

I don’t speak to any of my exes. I’m not calling any if them psycho or have negative attitudes toward them but I don’t keep in contact with any of them.
I have Venus Pluto square. When I’m done, I’m done.

One ex of mine I actively tried to be friends with and him me after we were together for over 5 years. It didn’t work out and he kept defaulting to acting like he knew me when he didn’t. I felt he was overstepping his “friend” boundary, so I told him it wasn’t working out. I know I’m not ” normal” in the traditional sense but psycho I am not.

not keeping in contact is fine. People move on and that’s normal! You don’t have to be best buds that hang out after a break up. But after a break up, if you loathe your ex, there is still unfinished biz. “Active dislike” is a form of energy sucking.

Some of my exes I actively dislike. I don’t dwell on it as a random action but this manifests as just cutting all contact.
If I feel they really did me wrong or was an asshole about things then yes, there is dislike and Im keeping myself faaaar from them.
I don’t hate any of them. But I prefer not to keep their company due to said assholism. I don’t want their energy in my life.

When I ran into him yrs later it was hugs all round – but hang out and be friends – no – fuq me over you don’t get to be my friend….too many wonderful supportive friends who NEVER fuqed me over that I spend my time live and energy on – don’t think everyone should do as I do

Interesting comment. This girl being labeled as crazy is actually going through some crappy times. She is homeless, has an ex, she is losing friends.. It would make sense to me why she is freaking out. This guy I am getting to know is doing very well financially. Anyway.. it is possible she is freaking out about her life and she doesn’t see the green pastures of hope so she blames him.

She tried to breakup a friend of mine and her boyfriend. Claiming that my friend was sleeping with this guy I am getting to know.

It is very high schoolish and it drains me completely. Drama is the worst.

Ellie it is so hard to know! Am a virgo too and as we know Uranus in Aries is all about the unpredictability factor in our intimate relationship….. Yay….it’s like we cannot judge clearly anymore and enter into love with people who seem perfect but we missed the signals we would usually see a mile off. Maybe this is not one of those occasions – eyes wide open honey and trust your instincts

Hi 12th.. I don’t. He is living in my home town so a lot of the people he knows.. I know. So far he is getting a good response about me. But 2 people I know have stated this girl who contacted me is a psycho. I am still shocked that she contacted me when we aren’t friends, she doesn’t even know where he and I are in our new connection and she just throws up nasty stuff about him. He is an extremely wealthy man, has an unfortunate situation with his ex and 2 children.. and I just don’t understand why the man is always to blame when they usually take care of the family. In my hometown the women are harsh with their ex’s. HARSH.. verbally abusing them in town, trying to ruin their business reputation and for what? If their ex’s are providing child support etc.. why tarnish their business reputation.. they need to provide. Any who.. off track with your question 12th. I think he is a good guy. I just don’t how to move forward with it.

VirgoElle. Women do not just “go crazy” for no reason. It’s a big red flashing light.
Yes you are attracted to him.
Ok that’s cool
But is it viable or even a worthy investment of your time and energy?
The beginning of a relationship is when it’s supposed to be totally amazing. If you’re already feeling conflicted, I’d suggest you step back and try to detach a little. If he’s all that, you’ll find out because he proves it. Rushing in is never a good idea re men and red lights IMO And I’ve known a few lol
Seriously. If you already have doubts and gfs waning you. LISTEN UP. xx

Maybe they’re both nuts or brought it out in each other.
Heed her warning, talk to your other friend, then meditate on it.
It depends on what she warned you about him.
Most of the time there’s a kernel of truth in it.
good luck and always proceed with caution.

Wait. If he is truly interested in you and it is meant to happen, then it will happen….

On the other hand, jumping into bed with someone who doesn’t live near you and who’s ex still lives in his house ? And they’re calling each other crazy through mutual friends ….? Messy to say the least. Sounds like high school.

Mercury retrograde will be making everything less clear, just to help.

Just wait. The situation will clear itself up one way or another; and you will be in position to make a clear headed decision, without the emotional load of having shagged this guy before you know what he truly like, and what’s truly going on in his life.

Virgo Ellie – I just want to add my support to what many others are saying. If they are each calling the other one crazy, then I would say that they are both crazy-ish. They have attracted each other for a reason and are at the same frequency.
Which is not at all to imply that you are at that level – most probably he is sexy. But don’t let that base attraction overtake.

You WILL find a partner. And when you do there will be no drama at all.

regrettable years of hard lessons aside on my part…. if you’re already asking THOSE questions about him BEFORE getting involved… why would you want to go there??? Woman’s instinct and intuition is an eerily powerful thing, if only to balance the woman’s equally powerful and blind urge for love and merging. Heed the warning and run! Your time is too precious! There are better candidates just around the corner.
I have been that x-girl giving the warning, which was shared with the offender, and have thus been written off as crazy. These guys know how to twist anything into their advantage – every failed relationship with each ‘crazy’ girlfriend teaches them a new lesson on how to manipulate.

WOW.. Thank You Mystic “Peeps”.. I really appreciate it. Trying to make this round of a relationship worth my time so I don’t become a LZ. There is a lot to factor into this. These are the good qualities I see in him
(1) He lives in my home town and knows a lot of people there.
(2) I met his sister and she is just as loving, married, successful as I would want from a friend.
(3) He is confident and yes a typical male that he thinks I can’t live without him
(4) he is successful. He gets up early every day, works and he wants to be happy. As he said to me “I want to enjoy my life”. I support that.

Things I am worried about:
(1) this ex
(2) his married ex
(3) he has children that he is having a tuff time with.
(4) he doesn’t live here but says he is trying to make a move.
(5) He seems a little desperate so I am not sure if he really wants to get to know me or is it just a sex thing he wants. We all know that is their main focus.

(sigh) I am so happy to find someone that I feel comfortable with. It is honestly very hard for me. So, I feel comfortable with him. BUT.. I am taking this slow. He seems to want to enjoy my company but it is at the beginning and the flurry of chemistry is just crazy. Once we jump over that fence into bed.. that is when it goes all blurry. gag!!

So, again, Thank You for your input and I will reread this as a reminder and to keep me focused!

i guess i am a little divided on the matter. I think maybe what it comes down to is that the desires of each person ‘match’. I hate to have a partner who turns into a pain in the ass if I just don’t feel like it, but at the same time, I need to remember to not hassle them when the shoe is on the other foot
Maybe this is where Venus-Mars synergies come into it. e.g. the Libran venus-pluto guy I dated for a while was by far the most civilised man I’ve been involved with, but it was much harder to bring The Filth (if at all) than with non-libran types. If you know what I mean. Then again, he was always very cool and never had expectations of sex on tap (then again, if the chemistry was hotter, maybe that wouldn’t be an issue? hard to say) .. anyway ..will share more thoughts another time soon no doubt.

point to add, no one wants to feel pressured into sex just to keep someone happy. that’s obvious. but sometimes in my exp usually ‘he’ is the one whose happiness is determined by how much sex he’s getting. Then again, if I were in a relationship that was not mostly sizzling, i’d be annoyed too, … oh I don’t know. ask me when i actually find myself in a relationship x

I’ve always found it difficult to find men who can keep up with my libido – it’s just less socially acceptable for women to admit to things like that so I don’t know that there’s a generalisation that isn’t skewed by the cultural mood of the day.

Please reread the cons, then reread them again. This guy has shit relationship potential even on paper (which is what you want him for). What is so special about you? Nothing. “Same shit, different day.” Sorry to be so blunt I wish someone was with me

Im sorry if Im very negative, but the things you described plus your ‘lust goggles’ give me major warning bells. Please weigh that feeling of comfort with all the other feelings this situation gives you.

And don’t let that feeling of comfort sway you because you find it “so difficult to find”. That scarcity mindset will lead you to accept situations and treatment WAY below what you deserve. Spoken from experiance here, I don’t want to tell my long and horrible story again but gosh you sound just like me! Its not worth it!!

yeah i’d agree with this. the bedwork might be great, enjoy it, but don’t let that convince you that he has much more to offer outside that. Sit back and let him prove himself, don’t go running up to him with a basket of goodies every time while he sits there and lets himself be worshipped. Take the emotional investment out of this if you can, for now, and see what he’s actually bringing to the party in the next few months. I don’t mean $. I mean of Him. Cap moon has spoken x

I had a rather deep and amazing day yesterday which wasn’t anything like it was supposed to be and I learned so much about a situation and the ripples it had sent out over the decades. I am having to let loads of what I heard filter through me now but I will say that although I can understand the statement above completely, there are times when that just isn’t complex enough and although value may seem to be missing it may just be under a tsunami of emotion from the years before.

Yeah four decades to be more precise. Actually you could say five if you include another soul in that and then of course it is infinite when you look at the ripples. But I will limit myself to this one in question and now I can see through the illusion with even greater clarity. So much begins to make sense and a gentle faith is descending on me.

Post Venus Retro and I’ve whoosed back into the land of the LZ’s, ugh, bummer. Valentine’s Day can take a hike.

To be fair I’m at the start of my Pluto Square Venus transit AND Uranus Opposite Venus – first hits are always the worst right? 110% ready for anything they will bring or even if I’m not ready I am open and up for it. Gotta make the difficult ones worth it. Those words, resonate.

Holly-Molly – any one else in Astro-Travel talking to Spirit-Guide Central???!!!
Jeeze, I’m pretty good, but never been THAT good the past couple days – and came back having remembered so much of it! ‘They’ have made me lie down and actually write down what they are telling me in my ‘dreams’ so I really remember it when I ‘get back’.
Whoa.

P.S. I know it’s sour grapes but Valentines Day sucks balls!
…maybe I should rephrase that statement, all things considered…..

Ooooh yes ! Got a very blunt message. Trying to do as I’m told, without muddying the message with my own feeble insecurities etc.

You spend so many years asking the Universe, “But what should I DO ?” And the Universe tells you, point blank. And you go “But how ? I’m not sure I can make that work. I’m not talented enough”…. The Universe has a long history of breaking my right leg if I don’t pay attention, so I’m onto it. Unsure but doing it anyway

It’s soooooo true. Just because you are desired doesn’t mean you are valued. The implication is there but caution is worth more than it’s weight here.
I mean, consider parasites. They value you. They’re leeching off your energy though.

I ran into a thread about 4D parasitic non organic entities where the qi vampires and ghosts reside. They can’t leech off higher than them, 5D, so they run around 3D. Creating high energy dynamics between people like Mars/Pluto/Neptune synastry just so they can feed. That thread was mind blowing. I was looking up Mars Pluto dynamics and came across it. Just in time for Gothic Valentines? *shudders*

Similar ideas in BH Clow with the 4D entities triggering blood lust scenarios in 3D. The key is to stay grounded in the heart so as not to be caught up in the energy of fear, anger etc. It’s an interesting read

Love her books , though I don’t always experience the same time lines in the same way regarding her views on history. But still enjoy her anyway. Particularly liked her book on her past life regressions with a hypnotherapist. Just dense, rich, complex stories. Have you read ‘The Mind Chronicles: A Visionary Guide into Past Lives’? Think you would like it.

Weird, cause that’s how I read it in the first place anyway – boy I can hardly keep up with the ‘messages’ coming in think and fast today!
Thought Mercury was supposed to be retro? – trust me to do everything ass-backwards!
Thank-you – the Universe is def. reaffirming I, (with maturity and grace) just dodged a bullet.
xo

My understanding of the 4th dimension is that what resides there are ‘thought forms’.
Be careful what your mind digests because if it accepts the negative it just strengthens the thought form.
This is the barrier or test of your suitability to enter 5th dimensional community.
The 5th being outside time, where thought is manifest instantaneously.
No advanced community can allow a soul that continues to manifest the boogy man into it’s ranks.
The 4th is not feeding on us, it’s created by us… Look at what we have created ?
None of it has any power over you unless you choose to be under it’s power.

These types of writings are downright dangerous , they are pits to fall in.
Clear your mind of all this guff and seek the truth. Very soon all the evil aliens, vampires etc show themselves as purely a means to test your fear. You can pass the test by simply laughing off these silly metaphors and getting on with strengthening your mind in preparation for the next level of consciousness.

I agree. I’ve read a lot around this sort of stuff on Shamanic forums. If you take non organic parasitic entities seriously, they will feed off your energy.

If you just laugh at them and then ignore them, they have no power whatsoever.

One of the things I have picked up along the way is that as corporeal beings we are immensely powerful. The disincarnate cannot touch us, unless we allow them them to. Hell, they can’t even talk to us, unless we invite them to, so I explicitly disagree with the statement “all life on this planet as we know it, is at a specific disadvantage to a less material more energy oriented multi-dimensional race”. Apart from anything else, it makes absolutely no sense to assume that we are constantly under attack from these energy beings – it would be an extremely inefficient way to run the Universe, and surely more of us would be showing symptoms of this ?

The other point is that of the hundreds of authors I have read on occult subjects, most of them do NOT agree with this sort of theory. The basic agreement is that Love is the highest truth and the highest power, and that in the face of that, nothing can compete. No one denies the existence of negative energies – negative thoughtforms, larvae, chameleons, spirits which have not passed over – but the point is that these beings cannot harm you, cannot latch onto you, *unless you let them*. And if you tell them to go away *they have to leave*.

The correct emotion for the denizens of the 4th is not fear, but pity. And I don’t think that the 5th worry about them or fear them either. Our contact with the 5th is not fleeting or strained, but constant, loving and guiding.

This is one person’s opinion of their own experience, and it certainly doesn’t gel with my readings and experience.

Clow describes 4D as the archetypal realm, of projections etc. and the different properties of the dimensions 1 til 9.

In Tibetan Buddhism, there are detailed descriptions of the different types of demons the soul meets after death, on the way to the next incarnation.

In my readings of Seth, he speaks of the idea of demons and such as being part of cultural expectation of the individual, as with heaven or hell.

I find it fascinating to read about and compare different world religions/ideologies, and have done since I was 12, starting with Bullfinches Greek mythology…That could be my Scorp moon and mars/Pluto/Uranus in 12th house.

The one the resonates with me the most personally is probably American Indian -type earth medicine, as it is so tied in with plants, animals, clouds etc. but they all have truths and distortions.

Sometimes while seeking the truth and exploring we come across articles like this David.

My mentioning it was not one of personal belief but just a statement that I came across it and that it was a very provocative piece of work. I choose to believe what I do and don’t, to be honest it’s a little off putting to be told what to believe by a stranger. I respect your opinion however and will consider it.

Sorry to have started a big Hoo-Ha (or am I, Mooh-ha-ha-ha-ha-haah!)
This Quad Scorp will Always be a seeker of the Truth – and fuq, I certainly haven’t figured it All out yet.
I found this article interesting – that’s it.
There are more Things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy….

But for my two bits: A sense of humor is VITAL for surviving this plain of existence.
Peace out,
xo

Usually when I’m into someone who’s wrong for me they have a negative effect on me…not this guy. He has added incredible things to my life. And I’ve done the same for him. I CAN’T LEAVE HIM AND I CAN’T BE WITH HIM! I’M STUCK IN THE GREY ZONE LIKE A PHREAK! HYELP!

Whose definition of “wrong” are you going with here? He sounds right to me. That grey zone you are inhabiting sounds like the chasm between years of conditioning and the raw new order of things. And there is away to both be with him and without him. It”a called personal space. Yours and his. Honor that need and maybe more hues will become apparent.

i understand the thing about not being able to be in a relationship while going through a pivotal moment. there’s not any mental or emotional ground to share with someone, in a way that would do justice to that someone. so even though the company may be great, or enriching, or sexy, the ongoing psychological bandwidth needed to sustain a healthy relationship is taken up be life developments. Maybe… ok i know this is hard when someone is awesome… try to reframe into simply enjoying this person for who he is, and not (secretly) want any more than that? for now? It’s pretty cool that he’s recognised that he can’t do love and life change at the same time right now. and if the connection is as cool as it sounds, maybe if you just let it remain uber-haute…but still just be hot anyway… your presence may be Noted as they say

I really should be more like my Mars in Capricorn and stick to one military-style strategy. It’s just hard when you don’t really know WHAT you are reacting to.

I need to remember that if any of this is real, then it can’t be THAT easy to ruin.

You know what’s even more ludicrous? I JUST HAD THE SAME REVELATION AS HIM AND I STILL DON’T BELIEVE HIM!

I did a 6 day paid volunteer clinical research study (long story short, you’re stuck in a room with no outside contact including the internet for 6 days and nights) in which I had A LOT of time to think.

The more I journaled, reflected, read, the more I realized that I really SHOULD NOT be in a relationship right now. AND THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FEELINGS FOR HIM!

Interesting, right?

He also came to me in a dream, sat down very matter-of-fact in a chair in front of me, and told me “I just can’t do it”. So very him.

My dreams of lovers and crushes have always been epically telling.

My worst involvement was with a crazy homeless substance abusing neptuned out phreak who was basically using me. Don’t ask…

Anyway, in my dreams he would sleep with me and steal my money or cigarettes and run away. Basically correct.

Or if I liked someone but it was nonviable I would try to kiss them in my dream but it wouldn’t work, our mouths would mumble and miss.

Does anyone actually acknowledge Valentines Day? Isn’t he the one with all the arrows protruding from his naked body whist tied to a tree?
Or was that Sebastian? Was he burned at the stake? Die for love?
Poofy names
Would rather someone give me a bow and quiver than a heart shaped Valentine’s Day card, with a 6 archery lessons included

my experience is everyone pretends its not a big deal and then gets pissed if they don’t get something even though they think its crap. It’s like obligational dating crap. Yes, you love someone but here is a stuffed toy and a forced dinner date>? The best gift I ever got was a book that I wanted (from a librian/virgo) tied in hemp rope demonstrating his shibari rope work and a bloody heart cake in a box with a note. Virgo planets are the best present givers ever. so much thought and nuance for the exact.

OK Woohoo but this doesn’t have a conventional happy ending…. !
The guy with whom I fell deeply in love a while back, well I was Pluto on his sun-Venus conjunction. I totally rearranged his DNA for him, he loved me so much – we ignited all kinds of long-dormant passions in each other…. but he also went to the depths of hell reconciling his love for me with the fact that he was MARRIED WITH THREE KIDS lol. I haven’t seen or heard any trace of him for a couple of years now but I would imagine he went home and sorted out his marriage and he is living happily ever after being dad to his fab kids and being a better husband to his wife. I hope.
I would have loved a long term relationship with him but I am Cap moon stellium and I can’t do affairs or indecisive people. Show up on my doorstep 100 per cent or fuq off. . Despite the pain it was by far the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m a totally different person now, all the artifice stripped away… ready for the next relationship, which will be better because I am now ‘me’ and expecting/attracting different people/qualities than ever before (I’m having an optimistic moment!!)

Ho hum. I’m fearing my Venus-Pluto transit. First my fear was that I would spend the whole transit alone… now I’m fearing that I will have some sort of earth shattering love that won’t work out and that maybe…. just maybe…. singledom is the safe and preferable way to work this transit. It’s only for a few years……. hahaha.

I have Cap ascendant and I wish it dominated more strongly so that if I had an experience like yours I could see it with objectivity. At least it stops me from ever becoming a bunny boiler! I have some Saturnine boundaries.

Me too, Ms. Natal Bast-Lilith-Venus-Neptune in Scorp sextile Pluto SQUARE Saturn in Aqu. Gothic to the max, in terms of a non-event I’ve had to process internally, whether I’ve been in a relationship (rare) or not.
As a Sagg, I think I instinctively loathe celebrations that require one to do x or feel x on a certain date: such things make me nervous. Am same with Xmas, NY, and my birthday – mind you, am there WITH flowers on other people’s birthdays.
I once sent flowers to myself, at work, on Val’s day, back when I was young (30), given that it was one of those girly-dommed workplaces dominated by male overlords(lol, Parliament House, Canberra) where everyone gossed about everyone else, and I thought it would negate the questions. It didn’t.
Never did THAT again. But I have often bought flowers for myself to take home, just to say to myself, I LOVE YOU. Was particularly necessary when Pluto hit my second house of self-esteem and pretty much destroyed it for a while, earlier this century.
Fuq em. These days I deliberately do my Lilith near Venus in Scorp on Val’s day, or my airy detached Saturn in Aqua in 3rd house (which is so good at pretending love doesn’t matter), if there is no one around who will let me do my sweet as Ven-Neptune, which I’d frankly prefer to be doing. There has to be SOME upside to Venus square Saturn: stoicism and self-sufficiency, I guess.

I’ve been reading Sag astro for my sag sister who has just moved back to Australia with her family after 30 years living in the US. Faux pas was her middle name as a child and her secret identity has been known to everyone for ever !! Hellooo . Maybe ‘coming out’ will get her the things she truly needs right now and she may stop upsetting her own apple cart . If you start a fire, and let it burn, the flames consume cleanly and effectively. If you light a fire and try to hide it , sort of cover it, the flames give way to acrid smoke that can be seen for miles and really stink things up. Let it burn baby, let it burn !

I am feeling a little bit like a love zombie about a guy from work. Only knew him a little bit before but interacting with him more since I’ve started a new role. A couple if days ago I was having a terrible time with a work situation. He asked me how the new role was going and I vented a bit about this situation (this was before I developed a bit of a crush on him) and he gave me some advice and we laughed about it. Offered to be an ear when I needed it. Then I ran into him a couple times the next day and he asked how I went resolving things.

I am not going to do anything about this, except ask the oracle about him from time to time…

Have been single 5 years after the end of a 10 year relationship and only now starting to feel like I will be ready soon to ‘get back out there’. So it is nice to have a harmless crush on someone after all this time!

I have Venus at 17 Cap in the 8th house so Pluto is moving towards it. Wonder what stuff might happen over the next couple of years… Maybe I will meet an Alexander Skarsgard lookalike who loves cats and watching TV shows on DVD?

I have just come home after a brutal day to a home picnic for myself on my bed with the most amazing food and flicks eve ever! as part of my awesome downtime. I’m overworked but I am making money surrounded by cute co-workers and my to do list is actually slowly just becoming dream lined etc. I love this saturn transit. Is this what being a capricorn is like?? fuck you this shit is jinxed. I hope you are enjoying your pluto transit then seriously though, I’m not thinking how I “feel” all the time and I am getting shit done. I’d like to speak the universe please about getting some capricorn planets please…

Mo money, mo problems at work (I find, anyway) but definitely can be worth it if it supports you and your bigger picture for your life.

Is Saturn transiting your 6th or 10th house? Going through my 6th at the moment and I got a promotion. I study part-time and at time the stress if trying to balance the two (plus exercise, household chores, socialise) has got me bursting into tears but with hard work have still managed to do well in both areas.

transit is 5th, but my sun is there, I said in previous somewhere its about to conjunct my merc.sun exact, its just passed uranus exact now. The job is terrible honestly and could die at any second but the mission is more long term and I have money to pay and save for things, could not be more grateful for that right now. Have to shift it before April

I have loads in Cap but on reflection I might hang on to them unless you have a planet you’d like to trade with me??
I have moon-Lilith conjunct at 15 Cap and Juno-Vertex-Eros conj at 23 Cap. I totally agree re getting merde done. So much better than endless analysis.

Yes Pluto has transit-whipped my Mars in Capricorn and i keep looking for more that is undone, only now and then realising how much i’m getting done. It’s beautiful. Esp for a Piscean. It also seems to have some ironic property augmenting my also self-sufficient Saturn-Venus square applying at almost 2 degrees (tight) by bringing me self sufficiency through loyal support, including that of a Sun Cap. Good Capricorn energy, the Haute kind, is always freaking amazing and has my total respect (we have lo kinds in extended fam too but i ignore them).

Glad the hard yards are yielding some form of pleasure and $$ for you, lovely xx

Oooh you have mars? jealous. power fish mille. well I have a new approach to what i’ve been doing but its a temporary thing cause its a killer no love job but I’m saving for the next move and ALL my admin is up to date once today is over. across 2 countries. I’m selling all my shit this week too that I haven’t yet and planning smart. Its not perfect and its not instant but I’m paving.

I’m just down with Haute saturn, its always been a bastard in my chart but after speaking with essex astro queen it does hold a key in my chart to the fantasy element. I just thought how good this must be to have as a natal rather than transit.

I wish I’d sent the Pisces the daily scope because he sent some weird messages online today, kicked up a conflict with someone who only “friended” him because Pisces was with me now. So I got pulled into a diplomatic situation (Mars, Pluto, Merc in Libra – here – everything is a situation). He accused me of trying to control him and taking away his security and harboring resentments toward him because he doesn’t pay his own way. F-him! Why shouldn’t he pay his way in life?!? And that wasn’t even the point. Is that his Pluto-Sun opposition? Accusing other’s of his low self-esteem? He took all his stuff, artwork off the wall, his bike, the dog, and left his cat. F-him. My Aries baby hasn’t even noticed yet. He left quiet like. Happy Merc Retro, eh Virgos?

I am researching bees in ancient greece and found this poem. Seems apt

Why Bee
by Meleagros
Why, bee, thy flowers forsaking, dost thou rove
And light upon the bosom of my love ?
Wouldst, honey-hoarding sting-bearer, express
That plenteous sweets, and much of bitterness
That bosom stores ? If such thine errand, flee
Back to thy hive, too long ’tis known to me.

I am angry at the implication I owe him unconditional emotional, mental, and financial support. I realize the guy is in a bad way, but I never agreed to be his provider. I agreed to share my life with him.

This is interesting cause I hear this situation playing out with people but usually the other way around. What I say to men who wine about financially supporting others is …Who cares if you financially support x, you are earning money ? Big deal ? I financially support people around me and I get financial support from others ? It doesn’t mean much in my books. It doesn’t mean I don’t value those who require financial support ? Let alone resent them for it.
The no. of times I hear ” my x needs $500 to pay x , I won’t give it to them cause they need to learn the value of a buck” . Fuq that I say. Some people just need $s full stop. Not some fuqing life lesson.
Face facts, you don’t value anything that this guy has brought to your life. Now your throwing platitudes out there to justify your lack of respect for him. No wonder he left.

i am sorry you are going through this it must hurt like hell!
he sounds like no prize though and like he has done you a favour by leaving. pain is pain though! still hurts when it ends even if it isn’t working. take good care of yourself.

i would be okay paying someone’s way for a short period if they’re going through a rough patch (and they were putting in the work to get back on their feet) or if i was super rich and i could. but i wouldn’t want to do it for someone who should have their sh$t together. then it would also be time to look at my sh$t and why i was with them. do i think i don’t deserve better etc.

As I have been trying to tell David, he made money an issue when I tried to hold him accountable for his other behaviors. In which case I think, “Sure, why not pay your own way?” Because clearly it isn’t enough to share a life with me. To accuse me of controlling him and taking his security?!? That really made me angry. That’s the same thing he said about his ex and all she and I have in common is him.

I’m not really hurt yet. Just angry and disappointed. And I feel I can’t explain anything properly

Money is a legit issue regardless of other behaviours, in my opinion. I don’t need to be with someone who makes as much as me, we can contribute to expenses proportionally. But I want a partnership where we’re equals. Not interested in being someone’s mommy or bank account.

If i may ask, have you always supported him or was he supporting himself and then something changed and then you started paying his way?

I feel you guys! My 2nd to last relationship. The breakup was partially over his inability to keep a job. I was paying for like everythin at one point , which isn’t too bad if you make a huge salary but we were so straind for $$$ that even his palltry donation was needed…so his artistically unstable b.s. was crap.

You are right porkchop and he never paid his way with me. We’ve only been together 3 months so I thought he was going through a transition but realized later (as in this morning) he expected me to support him financially. Wasn’t really the deal. He sold all his stuff to move with me except he arrived without enough money to buy food, socks, a cell phone charger. It was shocking and strange to me but I realized I could help and he needed it. I cautioned him about leaving his life behind and he said he was waiting for a sign to move and a reason as it wasn’t much of a life anyway. Now he acts as if I recruited him to be my possession so I could control him. Lol

If getting involved with him meant you would have to support him from the get go then to me that is a big red flag. you deserve better than that! why didn’t you think so?

i have a few ‘what was i thinking?!’ crushes/bfs in my history. but each has helped with the seemingly endless ‘growth work’ to be done along this ‘journey’ that is life, haha. looking at what was their ‘stuff’, what was my ‘stuff’ (takes two to tango), what can i do better next time, what do i need to watch out for next time.

hope you are doing okay and stay strong! don’t take him back if he tries – you can do better! who needs that drama?

porkchop, replying here because the thread below was getting small. I didn’t know his financial situation in its full glory. And there was miscommunication that is being review this retrograde. As for feeling I deserve better – I don’t believe in deserve. What I know is what I have and its great to know I have enough to share. That’s beautiful. And he’s no high maintenance type. He’s just kind of a maniac, which I like about him. So – deserve really has nothing to do with it. Funny think, is I am with David about that – if you are taking care of yourself and it so happens you have enough to take care of others – awesome! But – the power imbalance is heavy. I am open to all sorts of partnerships (Uranus transiting my 7th house), but I expect them to be partnerships.

Don’t you just wish people came with a light up marquee above their heads that told you their issues…. like “Peter Pan with permanent Dirtbagger lifestyle”….
people act like you should’ve known but who announces their flaws early on in a relationship? Who? People usually hide that stuff until they think you are in love with them.

Of course I don’t know the detail, and yes I’m blaming you without the details but I’m just a bit disappointed for all of you that $ is an issue. I know he’s broke, a bit messed up etc but you knew that before right ?
Anyway Fuq you / love you too x

I am upset about that too! I’ve actually been glad that I am able to support a household, not just a man, but two pets. Little old me with enough to share, enough to support someone else pursuing their dream. Made love and helped him get to know kickstarer.com last night! You edited me and chose what to respond to. The fight was about him bullying a friend of mine, a friend who only refriended him as a gesture of peace when he moved in with me. As I said, a diplomatic situation. And I read his comments and they were rude, really rude. And when I told him what I thought – that he was rude – that he shouldn’t poke my friends looking for a fight – he said I was a censor, blamed them, and then he blamed me for being disloyal, controlling him and taking his security away. WTF?!? Those aren’t $ issues! Those are HIS issues.

fwiw 12HV, it sounds like his shit, not yours, especially as it’s the same thing he levelled at his ex. but I guess you already know that. all that time alone with the ice, does it indicate that he has trouble living with others?

12HV, I sort of get where you are coming from, the last few years I have been the major earner in the household, the one holding it together. My partner was really not in a great space and i felt kind of sorry for him, yet at times horrified at how chaotic could get if I wasn’t very controlling. Not the sort of relationship I’d had before at all, when I was young and in long term relationships, it was always the guy stable with a good job and me the wayward artist…

Anyway after four years, things are turning.
I haven’t worked for the last two months (nature of my job) and he has been supporting the household and fielding the big bills. I can see it’s going to be more equal financially though he was always fixing stuff round the house.

I must say that I have enjoyed him being home while I was out working

In what you’ve written above 12Hv, I would agree with calypso that it does sound like his shit.
The things is, where one person is doing most of the paying, there is a power imbalance that has to be worked through. Even though my intentions are generally benevolent, I have been accused that it’s my way or the highway…

Its really a matter of intimacy and trust, isn’t it? Sharing power that way – because it IS imbalanced and there shouldn’t be denial about that. The real issue with me and the Pisces isn’t money, its that the intimacy and trust as a foundation wasn’t there. He’s started rejecting my good council and saying he’ll “figure out his own shit.” And when he attacked my friend on FB he was like “he was on there all day just asking for a fight and I gave it to me” and it was crazy because all the guy was posting was new stuff about his local area. Seriously, WTF?!? And then all these paranoia about me controlling him? He was free to come, he’s free to go. I really think this is a 2nd house NN problem. As much as he wants others to care for him he won’t feel safe unless he does it himself.

Absolutely I agree that ultimately he won’t feel really safe in the world unless he knows he can provide for himself, I know this from my own life, from learning to provide for myself. I wasn’t the most materially capable person when I was younger.

With his paranoia, maybe all this is his fear staring to come up now to sabotage what could be the best thing that’s happened to him in a long time, and if you both get through it, there will be more trust of each other. Or not, hard to predict, but some detachment on your part will help you, and I think you have that.

For the first two years we were together, I had a contingency plan to move house and leave him if things didn’t improve cos he was extremely stubborn and fearful, and there were some horrific confrontations between us. Him Leo, Scorp rising, me Aries Scorp moon. Nothing left unsaid.

I can honestly say his dog and my dog kept us together at times! My dog adores him, and if we separated I was going to hold on to his dog

I am so sorry to hear about this 12HV.
The emotional outburst is based in his pride.
All relationships require an aspect of surrender, give and take. Sometimes that’s where the problem is. What could you give up in order to gain x? That’s my question I ask myself in a relationship. It also gives me an idea of what I have invested in the success of the relationship.

Yes, I think its a matter of pride and not wanting to display vulnerability on his part…we’ll see…so surprised at the issues that popped up. Its a relatively new relationship. Hope we’re working out past life karma, lol!

Ha ha! I have Chiron transiting my natal Jupiter in 6th house as well as Neptune which is opposing my Venus in 12th house Virgo. My 6th house has Juno-Jupiter-Ceres, which is getting the Chiron shizz now.

I agree with you, Calypso and Veronica here. There is definitely a skirting of the Real Issues. Money issues are most of the time not about money, its about power imbalance and trust like you said. Nobody can give him that security and safety that he craves but himself.

Thanks for sharing your experience here in this thread. It brought to light more hidden truths in my past relationships as many times Ive taken in men that were not doing well – finances have usually been the arena this played out in (I have the Mars-Nep square, attracts these types of men apparently *facepalm*).

Hey 12th H I’m answering down here because up there is too crowded again.

I’m familiar with the ways of the Dirtbagger because I dated 3 of them and even tried out the lifestyle myself. Anybody who is REALLY REALLY into this is usually running from something. And that is the most harmless type out there! At the time I was running from my filial piety duty which is pretty innocuous, but the dirtbaggers I dated were running from far more serious matters and in some cases for much longer than I had. They were entrenched in the lifestyle. The Weed-eater Taurus was running away from growing up and just rebelling against his family…..
the Aqua had unmedicated mental illness and LZ issues…..
The Scorp probably has undiagnosed mental illness plus running from a cruel family…

The lifestyle looks all romantic from the outside but really it’s just glorified hobo living with pricy hippie clothing & outdoor equipment, pursued by people who read too much Kerouac. Somebody’s got to pay for the mess. Usually people do this when they are young and their parents are footing the bill.

I left that shit behind in 2009 after the Pisces did me in….left the whole damn community.

Well, I know the Pisces got into the lifestyle by being an arrogant skier and alcoholic. He got sober 10 years ago, nearly 4 of which he spent in jail. Post-jail, I don’t know. I don’t think he’s not sure what he is. Pluto transiting his AC/first house now. I am glad he has climbing. He has Jupiter-Neptune conjunction in his Sag 11th house and Mars in Capricorn conjunct his AC. I think its good he has a physical outlet. He really does love the sport, his partners, and believe in climbers as his heroes. Meets them in real life, and, sure, they’re all kind of f’ed-up. Its not a glamours life style, but he claims to like the deprivation. I don’t know. I’m not out to change his stripes. He can dirt bag in Wyoming. But he can’t be a dirt bag in my house in the suburbs of DC, you know? Bottom line.

I think when i say NO, peope hear yes go ahead no problem!? Really need to learn how to be more assertive and let things gl.someone told me to visualise the thing sliding off my shoulder. Must practise that.

Back from Seattle and excited but confused by mySELF. Looks like I’ll have an opportunity to finally get what I wanted before, but now that I’m not in fear mode confusing need for want the question is: do I/did I even want it? #venusconjuncturanusproblems #Hollawewantprenup
I think Lindsay Bluth from Arrested Developmet (played by Aqua Portia diRossi) was also a Venus in Cap square Mars.

Had the best birthday I’ve had in years. Was spoiled rotten on my trip and had a wonderful time then got surprised with a raw vegan cake by my coworkers at the studio. So much better from last year.

So while we’re all here and on the subject…can we please talk about the Oracle and its validity or lack thereof? Or perhaps how much you can harass it before it starts giving you scrambled, heinous answers?

Last night, instead of haranguing Oracle about Libra boy as usual, I decided to ask about a previous on/off hookup who I still flirt with long distance. It gave me the answer “Someone else occupies the romantic mind of x”.

Being that we are very open friends, I wrote to him on facebook asking if their was someone on his mind and he responded in seconds that he just sat down to a date with a woman he is newly crushing hard on!

Interesting, no? But I must admit, somewhat shamefully, that I have been abusing the Oracle badly in pursuit of information abouf Libra boy. The curiosity is too great! I think it is fuqing up the accuracy and possibly angering the gods. Please tell me I’m naughty!

But for the most part, the Oracle has been very accurate. Any stories? Thoughts? Ground rules on maximum allowances of queries per day?

But seriously, the Oracle has always been right for me…so far. I was impressed from the get go.

These are the rules I follow: Never ask a question more than one time per day is a general rule for questions like what archetype should i meditate on. And if asking about another person vs. yourself, don’t ask about the same person more than 1X per month max (unless something has dramatically changed recently) and that is being generous. If you get a weird answer…like the Oracle is sort of being non-sequiteur that is a cue to leave it be for now. Don’t ask it anymore. Seek the counsel of your friends or your tarot.

So.. me (Virgo Sun / Libra Rising) & him (Pisces sun.. I don’t know his time of birth yet).. What makes a man want to stay with a woman? I don’t have a clue! What is the attraction that keeps them. It isn’t sex. So what is it?