Friday, December 14, 2012

Taking a moment

After reading this morning about the school shooting in Newtown, I couldn't bring myself to simply post the warm fuzzies of our life. I couldn't just let the day pass as though all is right with the world. It's not. The truth is, there are pockets of incredible soul-crushing darkness. My heart is broken for the families of the children that were killed this morning and I am consumed by the desire to understand, to comprehend in some small way how anyone comes to this point. I feel helpless and small and hopeless against such incredible pain.

The truth is, long before this morning, all was not right with the world. We recently had a heart-breaking conversation with Levi about the world-wide sex industry and the horrors caused by greed and self-indulgence. The world is broken. Something is very, very wrong when we talk about schools shootings. Plural. When we have events to compare this morning against. What can we possibly do to address the the wounds in our world caused by greed, suicide, rape, abuse, bigotry, hatred, weapons, addictions, ect?

I don't have the answer to that question this morning. I have no hope of personally being able to heal the brokenness of the human race. I do not have a voice that reaches nations, nor do I have the wealth to make great change. I am not powerful or famous by any stretch of the imagination. I am only one and a small one at that. But I have at least as much as anyone else. I have my small pocket of the universe to impact.

That is why we do what we do. It's why we moved to Kelowna to follow God and our dreams. It's why we homeschool and expect too much of our children. It's why we foster and serve soup. It's even why I blog about frivolous, unimportant things like eating cake for breakfast. In the face of such anguish, this is how we cling to the hope that the world can be a better, kinder, more loving place. If we can combine our efforts with others who are hanging on to that impossible hope on dark days like today, then maybe we will see light pierce that darkness.

And if there is nothing else I can personally do, I have this one last and most important gift of significance. I can give the world four people who are not only loved well, but expected to love well. If every other effort means nothing, I still believe that our children can be our offering to an imperfect world. They can be encouraged to light up dark places.

Though I am fairly certain no one from Newtown reads my little blog, just in case you stumble across it, we are deeply sorry for your loss. Our prayers and thoughts are with you.