The Accidental Voyeur: Nursing Nostalgia

In recent years, I’ve come to realize how certain things that happened to me back when I was exploring my own sexuality set the stage (so to speak) for my eventual career writing about porn stars. These would often resonate many years later, when I was faced with situations of a deja vu nature, and such was the case on the afternoon of September 17, 2008, when I found myself at Remmet Studios in Canoga Park, on the set of Naughty Nurse Nancy, a movie directed by Diana DeVoe for Penthouse in which Kristina Rose played the titular nurse enacting various hospital scenarios.

Yes, medical porn, what an original concept, but it actually triggered a flashback to my own past. At one point in my life, believe it or not, I was actually dating a gynaecologist. Her name was Susan, and we’d met while I was in grad school at the University of Southern California. She was in her final year at medical school, also at USC, with a specialist interest in obstetrics and gynaecology. We’d met by sheer chance at an off-campus house party and I knew when I first looked into her deep blue eyes that we’d eventually get something going, and we certainly did.

It would be an understatement to say she had an intense fascination for human genitalia and she would often tell me about the various women she had to examine in the course of her work. She had a particular interest in the ones who were fully shaved, because to her it was less about personal hygiene than sexual display (and so, she helped instill my own personal fetish for porn star pink).

One of her absolute favorite things to do, however, was simple but sexy medical roleplay – she would have me lie on my back while she “examined” me. I have fond memories of how she first fondled me and suddenly exclaimed: “You’re not circumcized! Wow, I’ve never had one of these before!” She was Jewish and first-generation American, her parents having emigrated from the old country – they were Swiss-German, from the Zurich area — and I used to joke with her that her mother would probably faint if she ever knew her only daughter had been sucking uncircumcized cock.

And so, as you can well imagine, it certainly didn’t faze me to spend a day on that Penthouse set, watching Kristina Rose gussied up as a nurse on a fake hospital bed. I remember two things about that shoot. Firstly, Kristina impressed me immensely with her professionalism when posing for stills, stopping to change positions and demonstrating her dexterity with her hands, inserting cock in and out of her mouth and vagina for fast-cut angles, as if she’d been doing this all her life. I loved watching her.

Secondly, the funniest thing happened during one scene, when one of the cameramen actually walked off the set in a huff, yelling, “Close-ups, more close-ups, why don’t I get to do anything more creative?!!” One minute ago, his camera was trained on Kristina Rose right between her thighs to capture the insertion, and the next minute he was fed-up with shooting genital close-ups and marched right out the door. The entire crew stopped and even the director, Diana DeVoe (herself a former porn star who’d been directing since 2002) didn’t blink. She heaved a barely audible sigh and just let him go, calling a break so everyone could go for coffee or cigarettes – except for Kristina and her stud Charles Dera, who were still going at it, as if the cameras were still there.

At one point, it was just me and the two of them left in the room. They were obviously so used to being seen while having sex that it didn’t much matter to them who was there. They even slowed down and stopped at one point to engage in small talk, like they were just coworkers hanging around a water cooler, and I even caught a line or two about where they liked to go shopping for groceries. Charles’s cock was still firmly inside Kristina’s vagina the entire time, and that one definitely qualifies as one of the more surreal moments I’ve been involved in, when I recall all those years covering so many shoots.

My point, of course, is this: I’m thankful that I had my own medical roleplay to thank, preparing me for the unusual career ahead. Susan and I didn’t have any cameras pointed at us on those nights, and it didn’t matter to her like it didn’t matter to Kristina. When you’ve got your eyes completely focussed on your what your lover has to offer (a “nice package” in my case, as I’ve been told), everything else around you just fades away.

I’m always reminded of that scenario whenever I hear porn stars talk about their deep-seated need for sexual exhibitionism and I’ve always admired them for not caring how people judge them for what they do. “Being that vulnerable is very empowering,” as Allie Haze observed recently in the interview for her trailer promoting Allie, her first all-anal movie (which I highly recommend watching, by the way).

Personally, I relate to that, though I only learned much later that there is actually a sub-genre of Japanese porn dedicated to “penis worship” – the kind that Susan I used to engage in back in 1986, playing nurse and patient in her bedroom in Los Angeles. It was our way of (not) practicing kosher sex, indulging in the thrill of the forbidden in honor of her mother who would surely have preferred me being examined and blown by a shiksa. “I want a nasty Jewish princess,” to quote Frank Zappa, and I will forever be grateful to her for those pre-porn, sex-positive, formative memories.

Drew McKenzie was previously the "Cinema Blue" columnist for Penthouse Variations and also wrote for AVN Online, Fox (from Montcalm Publishing, New York) and Guld Rapport (from Stockholm, Sweden). He is also the author of seven books -- three on porn stars, all done under his real name.