Joke Issue: Oxygen to broadcast Ivy League games

Joke Issue: Oxygen to broadcast Ivy League games

After months of complaints on Twitter from the six people who care about these things, the Ivy League has finally caved to the pressure and signed a national TV deal for its football and basketball teams.

While many expected the up-and-coming NBC Sports network to ink a deal with the Ancient Eight, the league instead will announce today its partnership with Oxygen, the Oprah Winfrey owned women’s network.

“This was literally the only network that would bite,” Ivy League Director Robin Harris said. “We didn’t even have any other nibbles, to be honest.”

The deal, which will carry eight Penn basketball games in 2012-13, was struck primarily on the basis of coach Jerome Allen’s good looks.

“We’ve done a lot of market research, and Jerome tested through the roof with our target demographic — lonely, middle aged women who spend lots of time with their cats,” said one Oxygen executive. “The Ivies were lucky that [Brown coach] Jesse Agel was fired. He might have been a deal breaker … but nobody wants to watch Brown basketball anyway.”

The proceeds from the deal will be split evenly among the eight member schools. Harvard administrators said they plan to funnel the money straight toward SAT tutoring for incoming basketball recruits.