Happy Birthday Debs: Last Year in Retrospect

Happy birthday to me! Am I excited as I write this post? To be honest, I’m not sure, I am just super indifferent. Everyone says I am supposed to be excited because it’s a new year but then I am not sad.

Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for life, good health and uncountable blessings but there’s still no special aha-ha feeling. Don’t let me rub off my indifferent emotions over you, lols.

It’s my birthday! Like I’m a year older today, a whole year and it’s really a big deal for me. I am no longer a child (a long time ago though, lol), I’m old enough to make tough decision, and it’s a subtle reminder that life isn’t going to wait for me. So it is important I get myself together and find a way around it all.

PAST BIRTHDAY TRADITIONS

For every birthday, I have a crazy tradition of no parties, no noise, no unnecessary paparazzi, lols. I either have a dinner with my partner, stay home and reflect on past years, a getaway with myself or partner or I just absorb myself with work. After all, growing up, my parent never threw a party for me nor bake a cake so I’m not missing out on anything. The tradition just stuck even as an adult.

I really do not have much friends as such, so I expect less gifts from people. But when I receive any, it’s exciting and remind me that there are people out there who still loves me genuinely or care about me.

BIRTHDAY WISHES

Despite my indifference about every birthday, which is largely influenced by my mood though, every year I always have a wish. Last year, I had so many wishes I prayed for before the next year. I did not get all of it but I have gotten a good number of it. At least 60% have commenced and some are completed and that’s sure enough reason to be thankful.

For every wish I make, I work twice extra hard to make it come through. Wishes don’t happen magically, it requires efforts as well to come true. If you want to get a certification, study hard and write exams. Should you want to get married, prepare yourself for it and date. And if it’s about saving culture, spend less and save more.

I would be sharing lessons I have learnt in the last one year with you and I hope I inspire someone out there.

1. Put yourself first.

For everything you want to do, consider yourself first. This is in my nature and it may be hard for me to change this, I think first about others feelings before considering myself. And I always get hurt over and over again. Recently however, I have try to put myself first and I’ve been more happier.

2. Nothing is Impossible

We keep discouraging ourselves with the ‘I cannot‘ line. Who says you can’t? How would you even know you cannot if you do not try? You need to step out of your comfort zone to break the barrier of impossibility. Yes, it may suck at first but keep trying, please. I never ever thought I could write professional exams and pass because I felt it’s for the cool kids. Here I am today, just few more papers to qualify and join the professionals league. I have surprised myself in a lot of ways I never ever thought possible. I have bought myself valuable gifts I had always thought I would break a bank to purchase.

3. Life is in Stages

My dear, things will happen for all of us. Just because your best friend have it all figured out doesn’t mean you are a failure. Yours is another man’s prayer request, never forget that. Always remember we’d never have our lives figured out at once, we learn, unlearn and relearn as we grow.

So one step at a time, don’t beat yourself too hard trying to get there. It will happen, I know it is easier written than the reality but trust me hon, you are not a failure and you will never be. Still single? You would get married. Still living with your parents? You would get a house of your own. There is never a late comer at success.

4. Create Memories

I am someone who is terrible at keeping in touch with friends and even families. I try so hard to keep up with this but for every time I physically meet with them I try to create priceless memories. Do not stay stuck in your comfort zone, go out with friends. Travel the world if you can afford it, if you cannot, travel to beautiful places around you and explore the wonders of nature.

5. Develop The Habit of Saying NO

Unlike the previous Debs who finds it difficult in refusing unnecessary drama just so I don’t make people feel bad, I said NO plenty times and I feel so proud of myself. I would often times accept wrongdoings thrown at me and go back to my closet to cry about it. But in the last one year, I lost count by putting my foot on the ground and deciding what is best for me or not.

6. Let Go

Ah, letting go. Total big deal for me. I will always keep in touch with that toxic friend I had a fall out with. The other day, I went through my contact and deleted a good number of people, cleared old conversations and told myself, ‘It’s a new start’. Do not be scared to move on nor let go, it is super healthy for you.

7. Crying Doesn’t Mean You Are Weak

For me, crying is therapeutic. Many times, especially in the last 3 months, I would bottle in so much emotions I even had no idea about. It would affect me for days until I cry it out. Once I’m done watching myself cry, I take a shower and sleep. And I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to attack the new day or moment.

8. People Will Always Hurt You, Doesn’t Make Them Evil

As long as you understand that people go through moments, you would learn to forgive easily. Sometimes, the person that called you names and screamed at you did not mean to, the lady that ignored your plea for help wished she would not, the boss that queried you did not plan to. Just understand that we are all humans and we tend to react differently to issues. If you are up to it, talk to the person about it later to feel better. If you are strong enough, ignore it and do not hold it against the person. Life is easier if we stay at peace with each other.

9. Don’t Be Afraid of Love

I have trust issues, a lot. I always suspect any man that tries to get close to me. The first thing that comes to my mind is that there is an ulterior motive. Even after I finally settle with you and we try to become friends, I still have that nudging fear something will go wrong. Here I am, more confident and comfortable around the opposite sex with an open mind and heart.

10. Be Open To Changes

The most significant thing about birthdays is growth. For every new year, it is important to look back and realize how much have changed about you and how much you have grown. Open your mind to new changes, take up challenges, be willing to do something different and that is how you measure growth and development.

There are so much opportunities in life we can explore and for every birthday, it is important to take a moment and reflect on what you have grown through. Learn from past mistakes, make corrections and work on becoming better.

Hey Debbie… Your post describes you as ‘a lady who is ready and prepared to face life, get through it, and win it over!!’
I am extremely impressed girl 👏
Happy birthday once again dear, I wish you many happy returns

Happy birthday once again Debs. You deserve every beautiful thing and more. Thank you for these lessons, you spoke directly to me, thank you 💖
You look absolutely stunning in these photos. I pray this year will be your best year yet. Keep shining dear and keep winning. Have fun! 🎊

Once again, happy birthday! That blue dress is calling my name very very loudly oh! I love your photos, they really came out well and showed you in such a sophisticated manner – keep it up Debs! It’s also nice to read all the lessons you’ve picked up in the last year, especially about saying no more and taking out time to care for yourself. I just know you’re an awesome person – and I wish you the very best in this new year and chapter of your life – less mistakes, more wisdom!