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A toast to Daniel Cerrone

Letter to the Editor | Tuesday, April 8, 2008

As I sit on the penultimate floor of Morrissey Manor and look down on the plebeians running around with their foul smelling liquids in their cups of Solo, it brings a tear to mine eye that they do not understand responsibility as you and I do so well.

I exult in the fact that we stand so high above the vulgar commoners and their sophomoric debauchery. We shall not descend from our ivory towers and indulge in their sinful libations and prurience. I raise my chalice to you and sip on the sweet ambrosia that is my grandfather’s ’52 ChÃ¢teau Margaux Cabernet Sauvignon, which I have been savoring for the past three fortnights.

Let us hope they hear the wisdom of our words and embrace virtue and Christian values. I sincerely hope you continue the good fight, but as for me I must return to my life of excessive solitude and hubris