Thursday, April, 24, 08

Sadly, I have seen this movie twice. To be fair, though, the second time was because I had regained faith in Kevin Smith via Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and I wanted to know if this movie was as bad as I remembered it. It is worse. This whole movie is the epitome of grossness. It is a 90+ minute wet dream for hetero boys. First, the viewer is subjected to a raunchy retelling by a bro of the ever annoyingly voiced Joey Lauren Adams’ three-way with two guys, then the whole story revolves around her character giving lesbian sex details to Ben Affleck’s Holden McNeil, and eventually of course, falling in love with him. What girl would not? Lesbian, bi, queer, or hetero? Seriously? I feel like this movie is supposed to be a shimmer of hope for those self-hating gays out there and mostly it is just, as I said, made for hetero boys with an obsession for lesbians. The consolation prize to any queer turned straight is, of course, Ben Affleck. The only thing I gained from this movie was that at the time that I saw it, which is pretty much when it came out on video, I liked to play a game where I tried to prove through the characters he played, that Ben Affleck was gay. It helped me in my game, that is all. Jay and Silent Bob, the reason to watch any Kevin Smith movie, were barely in it, and Silent Bob’s speech is way too long and way too pointless. Even Jason Lee’s Banky could not make the movie good for me. At least Mallrats does not pretend to be anything but ridiculous. This movie, however, is attempting for the more serious, hence the toned down Jason Lee and almost invisible Jay and Silent Bob. But how can I take it seriously when it is such a ridiculous storyline? I have no intention of ever giving my time to this movie again. It has been established that it is trash; hetero boy trash.