A few weeks ago, I came across a TED talk on Palliative Care given in 2013 by Timothy Ihrig in Des Moines, Iowa. Palliative care helps people at the most vulnerable times of their lives, times when they are living with complex, serious health issues, or confronting the end of their lives. As I was listening to this moving presentation, I started thinking about mediation, its similarities with palliative care, and how as a mediator, I may also be a palliative care provider of sorts.

I work with couples experiencing huge emotional distress as they face the end of their marriages. My hope is to help them reach the best possible outcomes: no aggressive measures, no attacks, rather a more positive and calming alternative,a reopening of communication, more dignity and respect for the other and for themselves as the doors to their lives together slowly close behind them.

Life Transforming Situations

Both situations are fraught with fear, but people can often have their say when confronted with the finality of their circumstances.

In the case of a mediated divorce, parties will decide together about parenting, dividing their assets, and/or selling a home, and other issues, all leading to the finalization of the marriage. Each party becomes a survivor to the divorce and with time, they will find light at the end of the tunnel. (I invite you to read my blog “when one door closes…”)

In the case of a life threatening illness, patients and their families must make difficult end of life decisions. Sadly, the survivors will have to adjust to a life without their loved ones.

In both cases, these are life transforming experiences for all those involved. Whether a mediator or a medical team, the care providers need to show empathy, lend an attentive ear to all parties, and accompany everyone throughout these tough journeys. Hopefully with palliative care, some of the pain and suffering can be alleviated, and a peaceful ending achieved.

If someone you know is going through a traumatic break-up, do encourage them to chose palliative care and come to mediation. They will receive the best care they can get.

Feel free to have them call me for a free consultation at (212) 472-8262.

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediatordivorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(212) 472-8626
info@safianmediation.com
connect on

contact us today

subscribe to jennifer’s blog

what people are saying

“I wanted to thank you for being such a help in this situation. It might not seem like you’ve done much but just having you there in the room changed everything – really. I do understand that its not your job to take sides and that its important for you to remain impartial. I do wish it were possible to show you, though, how radically different that conversation was just because you were there listening.”– MB.

“I wish I had known that mediation even existed before we went and spent all that time and money on legal fees and got nowhere. Thank you for helping us work things out in such a short time.”– B.

“Jennifer Safian is a remarkable mediator. She is able to combine realism and compassion and she brings both to the mediation table. Her intelligent and thoughtful approach empowers parties to be the very best they can be when crafting a divorce agreement, focusing on the best interests of all involved including the children.”– Jenny Besch, Director, Mediation Center Serving Westchester & Rockland Counties

“Thank you Jennifer for guiding us through our mediation and divorce. I had no knowledge of what to do or expect. I was guilty of believing these myths. Thanks for a fightless, smooth agreement.”– Safian Mediation Client

“Thank you so much for your help through our separation. As difficult as it is, you have been such a calm and reassuring force.” – A.F.

Mediation

Satisfaction For You Both

In mediation, you can be as creative as you wish to be. Only you know the specifics of your lives, what works for you and what does not. As your mediator, I’m there to help you “think outside of the box”, if necessary, sometimes coming up with non traditional answers, but answers that will satisfy not only your financial needs but your emotional needs as well.