About “I Thought About Killing You”

The song debuted during West’s album premiere in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, on May 31, 2018.

Kanye discusses mental strength, love and not letting those who want to see him lose control get to him. His dark thoughts are discussed at length throughout an emotional spoken-word passage, revealing his struggle with thoughts of suicide.

Throughout the spoken-word segment, Kanye uses a pitch-shift effect on his voice, signifying the bipolar nature of the conversation he’s having with himself.

In an interview with the New York Times, Kanye was asked how much of the song is meant to be literal and how much of it is metaphor and he responded saying, “I’ve thought about killing myself all the time. It’s always a option and [expletive]. Like Louis C.K. said: I flip through the manual. I weigh all the options.”

At 3:10, the beat switches to a more atmospheric and aggressive mood. This section samples the 2017 track “Fr3sh” by Kareem Lotfy, which was released on the compilation Mono No Aware, put together by Berlin-based record label, Pan. Kanye spent some alone-time in Berlin around the time of the 2018 Grammys; one of the few moments he was spotted in public during his hiatus while creating this album. On November 7th 2018, the beat switch was updated to not include Kareem’s sample, but rather a similar interpolation of it. This change is most prevalent in the Spotify version.

What have the artists said about the song?

Oh yeah, I’ve thought about killing myself all the time. It’s always a option and [expletive]. Like Louis C.K. said: I flip through the manual. I weigh all the options.

I’m just having this epiphany now, ’cause I didn’t do it, but I did think it all the way through. But if I didn’t think it all the way through, then it’s actually maybe more of a chance of it happening.