Without wanting to get too far off topic, you may sometimes come across the conjugation je m’assis in Québec. If you use it yourself, francophones may correct you: it’s not the standard form in Québec. I recommend you learn what it means (i.e., I sit) but say or write je m’assois instead. This always works.

Finally, to say “to wear a pair of pants,” you can use either porter un pantalon or porter des pantalons. For some people, pantalons in the plural is less correct than pantalon in the singular. In a written text, you can avoid all doubt and use the singular. Otherwise, know that both are used.

Maude Schiltz’s book Ah shit, j’ai pogné le cancer (tome 1) is such a treasure trove of French written in a down-to-earth, conversational style that I always have trouble deciding what we should look at next.

Today, I picked something from her book that I think a lot of us can relate to after winter — jeans that don’t quite fit like they did before winter. All those Timbits really add up, you know?

In Maude’s case though, her jeans don’t fit because of chemotherapy. The treatment has caused her to gain weight. Maude describes her experience:

I went through a phase where I ate like a beast but, since then, my appetite has returned to normal — and yet I still find my jeans getting tighter and tighter every time I try to put them on. As a matter of fact, most of them don’t fit me anymore. Fuck.

The part in particular that made me choose this quote was where Maude says: la plupart [de mes jeans] ne me font plus. More than once I’ve noticed a French-language learner hesitate when wanting to talk about a piece of clothing that doesn’t fit.

Mes jeans ne me font plus.
My jeans don’t fit me anymore.

On the other hand, if an article of clothing te fait bien, it fits and looks good on you. Ça te fait bien ce chandail-là!