1.29.2014

STUFF

these are the days! good crap!

and now, this is a post all about what all we've been up to lately.

well first of all the entire house got sick. it was mild but it lasted forrrr-evvvv-errr. my insides are just now beginning to function properly and i won't regale you with the details except to say that the laxatives aisle and i have become real good friends and enemas are not as scary as you might think. and see? what is wrong with me!? there is some human condition where you get sick and suddenly you just really need to tell everybody on social media all about it. what is that.

stomach bugs happen to be my anxiety trigger. if it's not pms and i have anxiety, that's why. (did you know matt lauer and joan baez are also emetophobes? good company, fist bumps, matt). so that's why all of last week and on into the weekend i was a complete nervous wreck. my brain went straight up fritzy. i am feeling much better now, thank you, primarily because my insides have started working again? p.s. this article on anxiety.

this is hands down the worst blog post i have ever written. hey let's change the subject!

if it's 3pm and it's not raining, i am walking. every day at 3pm a yellow lab comes tearing down the street from out of nowhere. i hear him coming and then there he is, full speed ahead, he catches his tennis ball, and goes ripping back the way he came, nd that's how i know it's time for me to put down the laptop and get outside and chase my own tennis ball. i get so much thinking done on these walks. this time in oregon has been good for my book, but it's been especially good for my soul.

sometimes i desperately need a brain break from the writing and i take pictures using the self-timer on my phone. all this practice and i'm not getting any better! it's really strange.

it's probably for the best.

we really miss brandon. i try and call him in the afternoons so i can hear his voice and rattle on and on about all the things in the world, because when he face times in the evenings huck completely bogarts the phone and i don't get a word in edgewise. he laughs this throaty, grunty laugh when brandon calls and gets all pumped up. ya gotta turn on ya manliness for ya daddy, you know. then he takes his dad all over the house to show him stuff. they play trains together, they take baths together (brandon is safely removed from potential splashes, looking down from on high), they even go potty together. "daddy, want to watch me poop?" "yeah, buddy!" they usually stay on the phone together until the battery dies, and then huck wails from somewhere in the house, "daddy! he go!" sometimes brandon face times during dinner, or when we're all out to lunch at baja fresh. we just set him on the table, propped against the tobasco sauce or what have you, it's become really normal at this point--just the four of us here in oregon plus the disembodied head of my husband. it's like he's there with us! the future is now!

Glad to hear you're feeling better Natalie! Stomach bugs suck. Me and my 2 year old have bad colds at the moment so our house has turned into snot city, it's so charming :o) I hope you find a way to deal with your anxiety, it is such a horrible thing. Just know that you have a whole army of people out here who adore and admire you and you obviously have a great family to support you too. Take life a day at a time and don't let the bigger picture overwhelm you, you never have to deal with it all at once x

oh feel better! thankfully i have plenty of tricks up my sleeve at this point to handle even the worst of it, and so much support. i can feel it! and i'm so appreciative of it. i'm happy to say my head is above water, aside from last week's.... blip?... i'm feeling better and healthier than ever. :)

Thank you, we're dosing up with lots of vitamin C and cuddles :o) Glad to hear you're on top of it, it can be a tough beast to tame but you seem like a clued up girl so i'm sure you'll keep knocking it back down when it rears it's ugly head. Stay well x

Ohh,I completely understand the vomiting=anxiety deal. I just cannot handle it at all. My hands are essentially in shreds because I wash them so much in hopes of avoiding those stomach bugs that are always floating around. Glad you're feeling better!

Actually it's better (although it doesn't feel like it) when the family get sick together....otherwise...the bug gets passed between like a pink pong ball....glad to hear you are all on the mend and your bowel functions are okay! ;)

Super pretty shirt! And be careful singing in the car. Last week I was listening to "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey and this creepy dude rode next to me for 5 minutes. He was as into it as I was....But thanks for the song at the end. Fist pump!

oh gosh, i kind of love this post. actually, my favorite posts are the ones where you are all over the place. and those are my favorite posts to write, too. but anyway, i'm really excited that you posted a video of wilson phillips because, c'mon, who doesn't love them? that song- the best.

also, high five to kicking anxiety's butt. i'm currently roundhouse kicking mine in the face, and it feels so so good. keep it up!

ahhh, i loved this post though!! it's like we're having a conversation and it's so good and sometimes i laugh out loud and the next i'm just anxious for the next word because i love reading what you write. and wilson phillips!! yes! also, when i eat horribly and am stressed/anxious my stomach is the first to know. it's horrible and i totally get you. trying everyday to be at peace and control, which is not easy, especially during college. i'm so glad you have the chance to be in oregon with some family! i like things that are good for the soul. and i'm excited for your book! xoxo

I have Emetophobia too!! I just got over an unknown stomach virus/blug/disease (it was unknown so I don't know what to call it). They said it might have been caused by anxiety but to be honest I think I was more anxious after the condition started. I hate stomach issues and it completely demobilises me. Horrid things they are. I am so glad to hear you are better. There is seriously nothing worse.

Well no WONDER you were anxious, if I had to be in a house full of puking people I would sit huddled in the corner, rocking back and forth for days. :( I always wonder how fellow emetophobes who are mothers do it. You are certainly a stronger woman than me! Keep on keepin' on!

Stomach issues give me anxiety too. At Christmas my niece threw up as soon as she got home. After spending the last 8 hours with us! :-o I went in to a serious freak out. I had to take a Xanax and call it a night. I get it.

oh dear... this is so me too. puke is my all time biggest fear, and i honestly don't know why but i've never actually admitted it till now. i've tried to work at it, but it's the weirdest thing. who wants to feel nauseated and who wants the mess of vomit? it's just flat out disgusting, but luckily it does pass and i'm glad you guys are feeling better. from reading the comments you aren't alone! :)

I don't have any anxiety about getting sick normally, but the last time I got food poisoning I developed hives because I was so stressed out about how sick and sudden it all came on. I'm glad you are feeling better! :)

And Oregon is good for the soul. I live on the WA/OR border and have been really craving getting out in the woods. What I would give to be going for a rainy overcast walk, surrounded by trees than sitting here at work in front of a computer screen.

I love your writing ever so slightly more than I love that white shirt you're wearing, Natalie? Do you mind letting us loyal readers know where you got it? Great post as always! Your blog is my fave! - Leithhttp://www.thesanfranciscan.co/

Without meaning to sound horrid, it's so nice to hear that some one else has Emetophobia. I have had it for as long as I can remember, and know one has said to me they have it as well. It's such a ridiculous thing to be afraid of but its completely terrifying and makes my anxiety goes through the roof!I hope you are all on the mend now, and best of luck with the writing! xx

Thank you for posting that article about anxiety! I get horrific bouts of anxiety--and when I say bouts I mean I'm mostly anxious all the time, but sometimes it's extra terrible. Anyways, I feel you about the anxiety thing. truly. Glad you're feeling better.