Handshakes Complicate Simple Greetings

September 15, 1985|By Jim Robison of The Sentinel Staff

Life used to be simple.

Take the handshake, for example. Brought up in a traditional Southern home, I learned from an early age that a firm grip and a secure shake between two honest men was as strong a bond as a contract drawn up by a $100-an-hour downtown lawyer. Now the handshake has become as complicated as life itself. You cannot even call it a handshake anymore.

When I greet others these days, I often fumble around, not sure which of the optional shakes, slaps or grasps is appropriate for the age and social group of the person I am greeting.

For example, some men, particularly salesmen, seem to think that a handshake is the time to show their masculine strength. If you do not squeeze back with equal firmness, they will bring you to your knees in pain.

If you reach out for a simple old-fashioned handshake with a young guy, you may show him that you are not hip. Younger people have their own handshakes, either a thumb-over-the-hand grasp or a slap of the palms. Others slide the palms together, lock their fingertips or thumbs, grasp, spin around and complete the ''handshake'' with choreographic moves more intricate than those in the movie, Flashdance.

No college and pro athlete would be a real star if he could not demonstrate his skills with a flying high-five slap of the hands. I still love that video clip from the 1984 National Basketball Association playoffs when Boston Celtics Cedric Maxwell and Kevin McHale exchanged high-fives in front of the network cameras.

One of my 5-year-old daughter's favorite games is to hold out her palms and say, ''Give me five,'' and slap my hands. She then says, ''Up high,'' followed by ''Down low.'' Before I can slap her palms, she pulls back and giggles, ''Too slow.''

Thank goodness for the growing number of women in professional jobs. At least they understand that shaking hands is a simple greeting or farewell. I have never had a woman bring tears to my eyes by squeezing my knuckles or show me how hip she is by slapping at my outstretched hand or confounding me with some off-the-wall hand jive.