Sharing Life's Lessons on Living in this World and yet being Above it!

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Wednesday, October 28, 2015

How do you pick yourself up when you have been felled by Life?

The only
way forward from a crisis is to get up, gather yourself and move on.

Many a time, Life deals with you in the most brutal
ways. And before you know it you have been socked and have been left devastated
with the turn of events. How do you pick yourself up when you have been felled
by Life? Well, there are no easy ways in such a situation. You have to take Life
as it comes, one day at a time, one step at a time.

When a tragedy or a crisis strikes you – death of a
loved one, loss of business or money, a serious health challenge, a heart-wrenching
break-up – you feel numbed by the event. All you are asking repeatedly is “why”
and “why me”? But there are no answers to any questions in Life. So, you can
spend time mourning and grieving – and feeling miserable – or you can move on.
Now, there is no problem really with grief. It is after all a normal emotion
that follows a loss. In fact, when you encounter grief, don’t try to suppress
it. Allow it to rise within you. Feel the grief, hold it, let it hang around
and watch it as it first rises and then recedes. When you suppress it, when you
resist it, it will persist. But if you let it be, it will fade away. In the
aftermath of a crisis, when the grief begins to subside, be aware and pick
yourself up again. It will appear to be difficult initially. But when you
choose to move on, it will happen more seamlessly than you can imagine.

For instance, just to cheer you up, when someone
asks you out for a coffee or suggests a book or watching a movie, don’t say no.
In the beginning it may appear that you are “indulging in being happy” while
you need to be “clinging on to grief”. But allow yourself that indulgence. Don’t
feel guilty. The truth is that your feeling sad is not going to undo your Life.
In fact, nothing in Life can be undone. So, to move on, after you have been
dealt a Life-changing blow, you must first be ready and willing, and then you
must actually, physically, move. Moving on is not a feel-good philosophy, it involves
a lot of practical, doable, must-do, actions.

But it all begins with believing that there is a
lot of Life after a crisis. What you think is the end of the road, almost
always, is the beginning of a new journey. When you move on,
when the scenery changes, as Life goes on, you will find that there is much
more to Life than just clinging on to the dead past.