“Feast,” directed by John Gulager, is one batshit crazy movie, in the most tried and true grindhouse tradition. Let me get this out of the way now, and just admit that it attempts to provide lo fi, low brow, hokey b movie schlock, and it does it well, if at times it borders on eye rolling parody instead of admiration, respect and reverance. To do this right, the film, at the expense of any real story, decides to just administer the right combination of gory monster action, explicit situations, bar humor, vulgarities, banal dialog and plenty of “I didn’t see THAT coming” moments. Gulager’s film revels in psyching the viewer out with how the main characters (All hilariously introduced by freeze frames that include off the cuff bios with life expectancies) are randomly dispatched, leaving us to wonder if any of them are safe, who’s next, and who is going to make it out alive.

It seems that some nasty alien creatures have it in for us humans and where better to come after us (they do have a reason, I suppose) than a red neck dive bar in the middle of nowhere, or rather the Californian desert…well yeah, nowhere. After the intros and obligatory set up’s are over, we get the “hero,” (Eric Dane) barging into said dive bar, all bloody and screaming to everyone that there are murderous and ravenous creatures right behind him and that they better get ready to confront them. It’s a brief respite, then all gory hell breaks loose. The scene where a macho hero tries to save the day is something we’ve all seen countless times before (especially in horror and sci fi films) and Feast is happy to break with convention and press the reset button on how the rules hold up in these situations, and with that being said, Feast becomes an otherwise cracking fun time.

It’s all an unpredictable, and honestly, a sometimes cliched affair, but, fortunately, between the monstrous excitement we are treated to some pretty funny bits of character interaction in the bar and some laugh out loud dialog. During a quiet moment, one character approaches an old bar hag asking about aliens and insults her by saying that: “Old people know shit!” It’s little bits of juvenile humor and tasteless-ness like this that makes this film hard to hate on some levels much like “Slither” from James Gunn.

The bar inhabitants in Feast are indeed a motley crew and I won’t go into who is who (though Balthazar Getty is pretty comical as an abhorrent pool hustler named “Bozo”) or what, since in the end, it doesn’t really matter, but we are reminded of many other films where people are all stuck together in one place fighting for their lives when an evil external force is trying to get in (Night of the Living Dead, Assault on Precinct 13, anyone?). Don’t even begin to think allegorically or metaphorically here, though, Feast IS NOT that type of flick. What it is, is a corny amalgam of sleazy alien attack flicks that permeated the late 70’s and 80’s in grindhouse theaters and of course, the already afore-mentioned films of Romero and Carpenter.

The movie does in fact feel like a sort of twisted black sheep sibling of Tarantino’s and Rodriguez’s ode to grind from a several years back. Gulager’s Feast seems to humorously take pride in the fact that almost none of it’s main characters have any redeeming values whatsoever and the story holds them in no esteem at all. They are very overtly un-likeable with most being crass, ugly, immature, boorish, blundering and cowardly. All the better, though, since we can’t wait to see who is eaten next, right?

By the 3rd act, when the numbers of the questionable bar patrons dwindle even more, the film gains even more gusto and gets even more gross and enters really wacky territory with an unexpected turn of events. Feast writers, Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton, excel in keeping us guessing and they are indeed students of all that has come before in this particular genre. No one is safe in Feast, and even if this is very familiar territory, Dunstan and Patrick know that they are out to entertain us with schlocky aplomb. They also whip up some very facetious dialog between the characters as they try to outsmart the aliens and even themselves. Director Gulager outdoes himself with the casual gore and gross proceedings showing us everything in harsh reds without batting an eye. Feast is a fun and rollicking flick but you have to be looking to have some fun indulging in this kind of affair. In the end it’s all empty calories and the cinematic equivalent of a Snickers bar.

The cast here are all enjoyable, the gore front and center, the action cliched, the monster mayhem all shaky and what not, and did I mention the gore? Oh yeah, I did. Anyway, Feast is indeed a Feast of crude, odious and off color alien monster goodness that knows what it’s meant to consent to even if that wink and nod is really a self aware dose of parody (but there is yet another funny as hell freeze frame late in the game that I didn’t see coming). Technically, Feast is a solid grindhouse fit and it’s shot and composed capably.

The make up FX are unexpectedly well done and well rendered and it appears that it’s all done practically with no CGI to be had anywhere. Feast isn’t a smart film in any way, but it is astute in playing the conventions that have made countless grindhouse movies so much fun back in the day. Like I said, it’s frenzied analog film-making in the breakneck style of Raimi’s “Evil Dead” and it serves up basic and elemental horror film tropes that are quite comical and dreadfully low brow, distasteful and offensively gross. Yep, batshit crazy. What gets better than that?

The Late Wes Craven, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck served as Executive Producers on “Feast.” Also, look for vet actor Clu Gulager as “Bartender.” He is the father of the Director.

A Crab Boat Crew giving Marine Biology Grad Students passage to study Whales in the Bering Sea, come across a frozen Soviet Spacecraft from the 1980’s, harboring a dangerous secret.

Written and Directed by Alec Gillis

“HARBINGER DOWN”

The Thing’s Dealiest Catch…

“Is that a man in there…or something?”

In another movie universe, “Harbinger Down,” from creature FX guru Alec Gillis (AVP, Pumpkinhead, Predator), would have been a moderately decent prequel to John Carpenter’s “The Thing.” But in THIS

timeline, “Harbinger Down” is a creepy yet pleasing adoration piece that has no qualms being completely self aware as a homage to 2 of the best sci fi horror films ever made: The aforementioned “The Thing” and Ridley Scott’s “Alien” (with a little bit of Stephen Sommers’ “Deep Rising” thrown for good measure). It’s not a bad thing at all since in this vein, the movie quite easily rips scenes (and plot devices, no less) from both movies with a goofy and schlocky aplomb.

Gillis, who successfully showcases his practical creature FX chops, virtually transplants scenarios, exchanges and even props (look out for an abandoned “Chess Wizard” computer used by Kurt Russell in “The Thing”) from other like minded films. What works about that, is that it is not only handled in a tongue in cheek manner, but it has a charming reverence. Make no mistake, with a small budget that mostly goes to practical creature and model FX (along with miniatures), the movie tries to be lofty and sometimes high concept. Gillis shows off his “Kickstarter” funded FX brilliantly and with no CGI beasties anywhere, the homage and adulation to “The Thing” becomes more grounded and relevant. Something to be quite proud of and would make Rob Bottin very happy.

The film even begins in 1982, the same year that Carpenter’s seminal film was released and subsequently bombed at the box office. Using some so so but capable visual FX, Gillis reveals a Russian Spacecraft hurtling into the Earth’s atmosphere. The ship, with one panicked Cosmonaut in the cockpit, eventually begins to burn up then passes thru the atmosphere only to disappear into thick cloud cover and comes into rest somewhere in the Arctic Circle.

HB continues with a bit of a psych-out. Some travellers consisiting of 2 marine biology grads and their Professor, are packing up gear for a trip to rendezvous with a Crab boat at Dutch Harbor, Alaska, appropriately named “Harbinger.” Gladly, the found footage vignette is fleeting and the film is solidly told in a linear narrative leaving the over-used gimmick and device out in the cold. Once the group arrives to the “Harbinger,” we get the typical array of stock sci fi horror characters that run the fishing boat as they welcome (some not so happily) the group for a ride into the Bering Sea to study Beluga Whales and their migration patterns.

Sci Fi mainstay Lance Henriksen (Aliens, Pumpkinhead, AVP, Damien: Omen II), plays the Captain of the boat, named Graff. Henriksen is the stoic, grounded, and paternal Captain figure. Henriksen becomes truly entrenched in the character dishing out a deep and gruffy voice with a steady “Don’t fuck with me or my Boat” vibe that is a bit cliched but welcoming in this effort. We come to discover that student Sadie (Camille Balsamo of NCIS), of the University group, is actually Graff’s grand-daughter (or “Pop Pop”) and she hopes to re-connect with him on the trip shortly after some family losses.

Everyone settles in and Gillis pushes out the smart ass, tough, witty banter between the boat crew and the University group. One late evening, while the crew is crabbing, Sadie picks up a pod of whales under some ice and tries to rouse the research team. She convinces Graff to stop long enough to check out a ping that she is picking up on. It appears the whales are somehow attracted to it. Graff orders the crew to stop what they are doing and to hoist a large chunk of blue ice from the water. They come across a spacecraft with Russian markings (after they debate other things that it could be) in the net, buried within the ice chunk. The passengers argue and debate salvage rights and Sadie loses to Stephen (Matt Winston), the School Professor. Stephen, who looks after Sadie and her assistant, the nerdy and sometimes sassy Ronelle (Giovannie Samuels), winds up being the heavy of the story as he yanks the rights from her by threatening Captain Graff.

Then we are off to the races with the film. With admirable dedication, Gillis and crew continue to pattern “Harbinger Down” after Carpenter’s opus with some fun and chilling results. Most of which provoke a nostaligic trip down memory lane to those keen creature features we adore like “Deep Star Six” and “Leviathan” with Peter Weller (Longmire, Star Trek: Into Darkness). The crew stores the craft, with the occupant cosmonaut inside, below decks where it starts to thaw. Don’t they know thawing is bad? Sadie and a bad ass Russian chick look into the remains of the Cosmonaut and discover tiny alien parasites that, concurrent with the thaw, are beginning to come back to life in order to infect the human hosts. I was even waiting for someone to suggest a “blood test’ ala “The Thing.” But at a brisk 112 minutes of running time, Gillis moves the film at an accelerated pace once the Cosmonaut is resuscitated and begins to infect the crew.

You can pretty much follow the movie unfold if you are educated and well versed in the machinations and manipulations of this genre. Distrust, paranoia, suspicion all boil to the surface as Gillis ratches up the alien / monster mayehm. And what mayhem it is! The pratical FX by Gillis, Robert Skotak (Aliens) and Tom Woodruff, Jr. (Alien 3) are incredible. The alien / human creature hybrids are designed to not only disgust and scare, but to make sure that they provoke alarming and shuddersome reactions. There are slimy appendages, orifaces with long and sharp teeth and even stringy tentacles that spread and whip out to catch it’s prey. It’s all here, gang. But it’s all really charming and never feels like it minds that you’ve seen this all before in better movies.

What I enjoyed was the way Gillis uses the more quieter scenes to full effect. He focuses on the clastrophobic environment and the wind riddled sound field to build an un-nerving microcosm on the “Harbinger.”
Gillis races to the conclusion with character deceit, emotion, action and even familial fixtures of forgiveness and loss. The conclusion is quite predictable, which I didn’t mind as long as Gillis continued to move forward confidently, while showcasing the cool alien monster FX.

“Harbinger Down” is a simple monster mash send up that works hard, is obviously a ultra homage and contains a cheesy, if not always coherent, sci fi fable. Predecessors like “The Thing” and “Alien” have provided the spring board for these films that try to at least achieve some originality by being self conscious but solid in it’s storytelling, execution, style and FX. Much like “Deep Rising” before it, “Harbinger Down” is a huge nod but winds up having it’s own identity and is a fun quick blast if you’re looking for a “one and done” monster movie to pass the time on a Saturday afternoon loafing around on the sofa. Check it out as a double bill with “The Thing” one late night…if you dare! Recommended.

I have never been one to shy away from indulging in a creature feature here and there. Since I was a wee pain in my mother’s ass, I have always enjoyed monsters. Of all varieties, mind you. Vampires, Wolf-men, revived cadavers and let’s not forget the big irradiated lizards that were prone to destroying whole cities underfoot. After I became a dad and my kids started to get into monster flicks, too, I began to re-visit the classics with them and enjoyed watching them have as much fun as I did at their age. But with so many numerous monster films in abundance nowadays, it has gotten harder to tolerate even the most mediocre of entries, only because of the amount of cliches and hokum that saturate so many of them. (At this point even my son shies away from many unless it gets great buzz or has amazing word of mouth).

Well, of all people, it was my Wife that beat me to the punch as she took a chance on a new creature feature and recommended it to me. She knows that I am extremely discriminating these days with what monster flicks I watch and I decided to check out “Dark was the Night” (A few nights ago on Netflix Instant Streaming, no less) after she felt I would find some stuff to like in it and perhaps maybe whip up a review. Well, here is my review and I did indeed find some “stuff” to like in Jack Heller’s neat little monster movie. My Wife also reminded me of my high standards with the genre and not to expect a miraculous second coming of the Creature Feature.

With this in the back of my little mind, I actually enjoyed this visually appealing offering that never takes itself too seriously (It does refrain from having too much humor, though) or never tries, like recent entry: “A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night,” to add levels of artsiness and pretention. It’s a monster flick that knows it’s a monster flick and what helps the movie is that it at least attempts to introduce a somewhat original creature which is loosely based on folklore and indigenous legends.

The script by writer Tyler Hisel (Static, Safari) had languished a while as an un-produced screenplay. Initially called, “The Trees,” Hisel’s script was finally dusted off and with the right enthusiastic backers, “Dark was the Night” was finally made. What I noticed first was that the cardinal rule, probably first initiated by Steven Spielberg with “Jaws,” was followed in that the titular beastie in the film is shown very little. Whether it was by choice or because of budget constraints, it remains the right decision because Heller’s film is a character study first and a monster movie second. Much like “Jaws” and other films that follow that particular lead.

Not unlike Howard Hawks’ “The Thing from Another World,” “Dark was the Night” builds suspense, fear and dread from the characters speaking and discussing the creature more than actually showing it. It is a manipulation that does the film justice. Heller’s film begins with a group of remote loggers running into a mysterious and ferocious animal that appears seemingly out of nowhere. One unfortunate crew member, while discovering the worst possible thing has happened to a co-worker, finds himself a victim, too. He is unfortunately dispatched with amazing ferocity and off we go…

The action moves to a quiet, small and insular community named, Maiden Woods, which is basically made up of people of the land. Outdooors-men, farmers, hunters and horse and cattle owners. The remote area has only one Sheriff named Shields (Played by Kevin Durand: LOST, The Strain) and his change searching, NYC transplanted deputy, named Saunders (Lukas Haas: Witness). Shields and Saunders are both stoic, smart and dedicated men and they both have heavy emotional complexities that Hisel’s script explores with small, well done vignettes into their personal lives without getting too melodramatic or saccharine. Shields is estranged from his wife, Susan (Bianca Kajilich) and young son, Adam (Ethan Khusidman) due to a painful loss that the entire town, including the local Priest, knows about. Saunders, on the other hand, harbors a mental incapacity to a previous job related injury (perhaps a PTSD sufferer?) that may or may not have caused him to seek out more peaceful pastures.

The town begins to unravel as strange things begin to happen. Shields and Saunders try hard to be the voice of reason, not only to the townsfolk, but to themselves. The problems of feral looking claws mark, strange foot prints that do not appear to be from any known animal, missing horses, wildlife disappearing and missing hunters, all drop right onto their proverbial plate. Not to mention supporting characters all doubting and hindering the investigation and capability of the law-men at just about every turn. Heller competently gives us insight into how they approach the investigation in proper manner but when what they see and hear turns the tide of evidence, they make the decision to finally figure out that they may be dealing with a creature that has resurfaced (like a once thought extinct water species that Saunders speaks about) either from deforestation or from being able to elude humanity and stay hidden until now. Whatever it is, it is a hardcore beast and when someone crosses it, it ain’t pretty.

Durand and Haas, along with the rest of the cast, which includes Earl (Nick DaMici of Late Phases and Stake Land), a tavern owner that offers an alternative explanation that involves local legends of a native american demon renowned in the area, are finely tuned into the monster movie machinations that Heller projects. Here, they do it well with believable aplomb. Heller also provides a few considerably effective moments of creature frights with well placed camera movements and shots and successfully uses the stamina of Durand to reel us into what he is feeling and dreading. Personal issues aside (which remedy themselves eventually), Durand’s portrayal of Shields is of a parent and husband trying the reconcile demons internally and externally while trying to keep his Town and Deputy safe. Heller supplies us with quick and creepy shots of the monster in the dark and in it’s foliage dense environment, sometimes lit by lightning or even the headlights of Shields’ truck. All in all the glances are disturbing and dread inducing.

“Dark was the Night” is an efficient monster flick that has a tight and controlled script at it’s core and Heller’s capable and low key direction and visuals (we get a bluish, desaturated town in the grips of winter) are to be commended for not spiraling out of control like recent entries in this genre. We get beautifully composed shots of churches, roads, trees and one chilling frame of the towns people gathering in the street on both sides of a footprint trail. The DP, Ryan Samul (Stake Land) utilizes the raw power of the RED Cam to wonderful effect, here.

The film also blends the mysteries and idiosyncrasies of the town, the investigation and monster very well without losing sight of how the characters themselves fight for survival. The conclusion, which has the remaining townspeople gathered in a Church, may ring a bit hokey and ho hum but stick with it, only because Heller ratches up the monster mayhem and revels in letting loose a bit when the humans face the creature up close. When we finally do see the monster, whether or not it lives up to your expectations, it is still fleeting, keeping in line with all of the brief flashes we have seen before. Also, Heller throws in a bit of a twisty ending that some may feel is abrupt or cliché but it doesn’t ruin the over-all experience of this well acted and creepily paced creature piece.

If there is one reason I may have to recommend the film is for Durand’s commanding turn as Sheriff Shields. Haas is perfectly cast as well, with many insightful scenes on his own to watch, and the two leads give the movie a secure backbone. It’s the right mixture and foundation for Heller and Hisel to build this quirky indie monster bash upon. “Dark was the Night” is currently available on Netflix Streaming. Enjoy!

“Put a Bullet in a Monster. That was supposed be our war. Better know your enemy.”

In 2010, Gareth Edwards (Godzilla) directed a small, indie sci-fi sleeper for roughly 15 million named “Monsters.” It was a low key and sparse creature feature where Edwards decides to tell a story that is more about the characters and their development, than say, the monsters themselves. Using his minimal budget really well, Edwards successfully makes “Monsters” look and sound way more bigger than it could have been afforded to be. Using an exotic local and shooting in a docu-cinema verite style, the movie had less a feel of a true and visceral monster movie and more like a type of art house fare with a unique back-story.

In this light and regard, it worked for many and the movie has become a bit of a cult hit on the home video market and the movie has garnered a pretty solid rep for it’s inventive-ness and minimalism. In “Monsters,” Edwards made a romantic and interesting film about exploration and immigration using the alien monsters, on earth, as a bizarre backdrop to tell his story. If nothing else, “Monsters” claims to be an incidental affair using octopi alien nasties as an after-thought in the proceedings.

Well, it’s 2015 and Vertigo Pictures along with director Tom Green (Misfits, Blackout) with producer Scoot McNairy (who starred in the first film) and Executive Producer Edwards, bring us “Monsters: Dark Continent” which takes place 10 years after the events in the first film. The movie sets up efficiently, that the infected zones are now spread out all over the world and especially in the Middle East as a result, a band of insurgents have started to cause some trouble and despite a band of soldiers being dispatched to take care of them, there are also monsters in the area to thwart the mission as well.

The insane task, which is a bit of a stretch to wrap one’s head around, falls to a group of professionals (so we think) from Detroit. The film’s beginning establishes a narrative from Michael Parkes (Sam Keeley), who describes how bombing the monsters abroad has created so many rebels and that they get in the way of eliminating the monsters. He discusses, as we see a lone figure about to assassinate an insurgent, Sgt. Frater (Johnny Harris), Years: 17 Tours: 8, who he calls a “Lion.”

This little bit of intrigue and introduction is an appropriate set up for Green’s film which, from the onset, feels like a political war drama peppered with signs of a monster flick only hinted at with quick cuts of them. This begins the title opening sequence, which feels dropped in from “Word War Z,” for “Monsters: Dark Continent” which is a film split into weary and overdone halves leaving no room for imagination and genuine emotional relevance.

We get the intros back to back to back of those who are about to be recruited into the battle against the insurgents in the middle east. The interactions between them all, with Keeley’s voice over always cutting in, are stilted and uninteresting (there is also the use of the Years and Tours card that shows up with each character introduced trying to make this feel as if it is some high concept docu-drama). So, director Green, wants us to feel for the characters, with introspection (managing to say that Detroit is a fucked up place to live and getting out is the only option) about morally and sociologically issues that plague the soon to transferred soldiers.

So, after an illegal pit bull vs baby monster fight, the crew decide to party hard with hookers and drugs. Yeah, that is so original, no? Green’s film kicks into gear with an intro to a herd of the giant monsters as they fly over the desert in a chopper. They get briefed on their mission (as part of Team Tiger Shark), get into fisticuffs and after they are humiliated and told they will encounter monsters, they head out on their mission (not before Green delivers what is meant to be a resonant “soldiers interacting with kids” sequence).

What they do encounter out there is harrowing, disastrous and full of the insanities brought upon by war and battle. Parkes and Harris, who suffers from a breakdown and PTSD, are left to their own devices after the many patrols, snipers and encounters with the monsters and armed locals meet with insurmountable bloody opposition and death. Green puts Team Tiger Shark through it’s paces and it is a raw and terrible experience that would better serve some other type of film.

“Monsters: Dark Continent,” for all of it’s “war is hell” pomposity, looks nice and serves up a very heavy dose of realism, which just never gels. What is meant to be a life changing story for the angry and rebellious youths that make up Team Tiger Shark, turns into hokey war and terrorism preaching meant to engage us but this isn’t “Homeland” and Green should have really decided which direction to let this story unfold. Green does occasionally thrill us with some cool monster action, much later, done with night vision, once again, going for that realism but ends up being a sort of “Cloverfield” – like tactic. What I did like is how Frater chews out the soldiers for their inexperience and carelessness. Harris, by far, is the one capable actor to watch here and he carries the weight through-out much of the film

The film continues this way for most of it’s running time, blending cliché after cliché (yelling, screaming, arguing, running, shooting and what have you) with patches of monster mayhem that is just average and not all that impressive. Frater’s descent into madness is a small ray of light and it feels as if it belongs to another movie, somehow (A call to his daughter is a very moving scene before we get that annoying VO by Parkes again). Green shows us that Parkes and Frater are indeed the only ones in this film that change and the monsters are relegated, once again, to the back burner, proving that little imagination is thrown into the story. How would “Cloverfield” have been if the monster just walked around destroying Manhattan and it only was occasionally seen while the film concentrated on a going away party for 90 minutes?

Despite some dynamics of the human condition being explored and the monsters looking pretty cool, when they do appear, the movie doesn’t communicate past the stilted war cliches. Less resonate is how the movie can be actually called a monster movie. It may have well been a flick about a safari with how little the creatures are shown. There is war gore and battles and roadside bombs that echo the better action seen in “Battle: Los Angeles” but it does not remain very memorable.

The film has a gritty and saturated palette and sometimes the quiet score serves the scenes which was refreshing for a film with so much going on in it. Ultimately, the film, with it’s “we are the monsters, not them” mentality, is redundant and frustrating but the last act certainly finds it’s footing but by then I had really lost interest and found myself wanting to watch “Godzilla” instead. The film made me literally tired (it becomes a type of road movie for Parkes and Frater) and desperately hoping for a change in tone. It’s hard to reconcile how the first film, while no masterpiece, actually galvanized this one and by the film’s end I had a bad taste left in my mouth (there is actually a poignant scene in a desert village involving a monster and it’s dead offspring that was impressive).

“Monsters: Dark Continent” will suffice, if it is a Matinee watch or a late Saturday time waster but just barely. It reeks of a wannabe Bigelow or Ridley Scott war flick with some ugly squiddy beasties from outer space thrown in. It gets so heavy handed by the last act and has nowhere to go to redeem itself. Too bad because an amalgam of the 2 genres could really work if done right. The monsters, when on screen, are kick ass to watch lumbering around like the strange creatures in Darabont’s “The Mist,” but those scenes are teases and barely really effective. Watch “Battle: Los Angeles” instead if you need that particular fix for a contemporary military vs monsters movie. Make sure you temper your expectations with this one, gang.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: “A group of people walk into the woods…”

By the time I finally got around to watching “Exists,” I had already seen and reviewed a few other Bigfoot films which included, “The Lost Coast Tapes,” recently “Animal” and the surprisingly effective “Willow Creek” from Bobcat Goldthwaite. Both of those films were shot in a POV, docu-style, trying to pass off as found footage. Ultimately, there are many more of these films out in the ether, especially on Netflix, that have saturated the sub-genre of the bigfoot / found footage flick (sometimes I wonder if that should even be a subgenre). Most are assuredly pretty bad, others passable only in the “so bad it’s good” way. Those are the ones that are tailor made for viewers that love a tongue in cheek and guilty pleasure, here and there, similar to how those brilliant “Sharknado” movies made us feel.

“Exists,” directed by Eduardo Sanchez (Altered and Lovely Molly), who brought us the grand-daddy of the found footage film, “The Blair Witch Project,” falls somewhere in the middle of that paradigm that juggles, quite unsuccessfully, all of the cliches and tropes, with genuine fright, fear and suspense. I ask: Why are we made to endure these movies? We know, almost immediately and going in, that these movies will no doubt disappoint but we check them out anyway. Well, I probably cannot offer any real distinctive answer. Too many variables there for me to make an assumption. The reason I watched, honestly, is that I love films and documentaries about Cryptos (Or Cryptids?). I know many think it’s all bunk and hokey and somewhat cuckoo but I enjoy the various interpretations of how these monsters are projected in a movie or TV Doc.

Despite Sanchez’ affinity for found footage (he also delivered “The Ride in the Park” segment for V/H/S 2), I found that “Exists” may have been better realized as a straight forward narrative. I am going to put my head on the chopping block for this, but, these FF films just don’t really cut it anymore. I may be making a generalization but “Exists” proves that all of the clever ideas in this genre have been executed and there is nothing really new under that sun. They are their own worst enemies because thay fall into and are defined by all of the tropes that never seem to come across as original or apparent. The same goes for the “film crew in a abandoned sanitarium” (the Grave Encounters films, not-withstanding) or house or mine or whatever, the list goes on and on.

Without going into too much of the story, since there is not too much of one, Sanchez starts us off with a band of young people, a pair of brothers, a horny couple and one brother’s girlfriend. They joke, frolic and tease each other on the way to a remote cabin in Texas, that belongs to the the Uncle of the brothers. On their way there, they hit something. They get out to investigate but only get scared off by noises in the woods. Now, at this point, the gang start making really dumb decisions and choices that are really annoying, typical and rote.

They do not cry out to see if they hit a human being, instead they cram right back into the car and continue driving. They get road-blocked by a fallen tree. Huh? A fallen tree?

Then they brave walking the rest of the way to the cabin. Once they get there, they find the cabin (where we get a wild animal lurking about scare) in disrepair and decide that it is unfit to sleep in. So they go back to the car to sleep. Another, huh? The next day the gang all continue their vacations with some swimming, sex videotaping and BMX ramping into the lake. Then they go back to the cabin to stay. So, um, now the cabing is ok to sleep in, why? Because it’s daylight? Third, huh?

Things progress and start to get serious when one brother starts to hear and see things in the woods. Being the reliably stoned and intrepid videographer that he is, he sets up cams and starts to record everything. While, pissing off the others for various reasons, he manages to remain convinced that there is a creature lurking about. The rest all settle in at the cabin and then Sanchez continues with the classic, by now, very routine machinations. You’ll know what I mean if you decide to watch this movie.

Sanchez hits just about every found footage mark and if you a sucker for them, then this is right up your alley. There are obligatory cheap scares, the actual attack on the cabin and then the gang eventually gets seperated resulting in one brother riding off to get help on a bike. As he makes a run for it on his bicycle, with the reliable Go Pro-like POV in full effect, Sanchez gives us a nice taste of what he has in store for us and just in time, too.

The film remains a fast affair and goes by pretty efficiently clocking in at just under an hour and a half. So in this time constraint, Sanchez admirably ratchets the action in the last 15-20 minutes. Here, is where the film narrowly redeems itself but very briefly. After more obligatory chases, close calls (the gang even hide out in some cellar under the floor boards ala Evil Dead), freak outs and monster mayhem, Sanchez starts to make good on his ambitious little flick. He makes his Bigfoot a pretty scary bad ass and the creature, looking almost more neaderthal than, say, a gorilla or wookie, comes across as an intelligent entity with a purpose. The close ups that Sanchez provide of the menacing beast are chilling and effective, showing off some very good make up fx. The finale, which is pretty much an extended chase scene, is fierce and generally well done for the budget. Sanchez makes it feel much bigger than it really has any right to be.

During a rescue of one of the brothers in a small and claustrophobic hole, Sanchez really adds a layer of tension that is palpable. His subsequent abandoned RV attack is also pretty well staged and helps to move the finale along ala Spielberg’s “The Lost World.” Even the Uncle arrives to save the day…sort of. Everything comes to a head and Sanchez wraps up all of the loose ends, explaining the truth of what the gang actually collided with on that dark road at night. Even the unconventional ending is brave and quite good for all of the trappings and universe that this film inhabits. Too bad that the mundane found footage / POV narrative (so much is illogical which makes you wonder why and how a character is always running a video camera) shows it’s seams and the movie only briefly gets it’s head above the muck to entertain.

“Exists,” written by Jamie Nash (Altered, Lovely Molly), is a flick with noticeably bad and uninteresting cardboard characters, hokey and boring dialog, no self restraint and is a very predictable endeavor. For most of the running time, sans the quick and exciting finale, “Exists” is plain, generic and even the monster mayhem at the cabin is less likely to impress than what comes near the end when the group is left to their own devices in the woods.

The finale is probably the best thing about the film and when the movie has such a short running time, it manages to get there quickly but I question just how many people, who may be fed up with this sub-genre already, will be willing to sit through the manipulations and repetitious gunk to get there. I lost count of how many times the camera falls to the ground and we are left watching something fall into the frame. Yawn. The movie, in my opinion does indeed suffer from “too little too late” unfortunately. Sanchez has some strong directing chops, like he proved with his unique “Altered” and he knows how to stage action but with his return to found footage / POV horror, he gets caught in that mire of convention that he himself created and finely tuned with the much more creepier and oblique “The Blair Witch Project”

“Animal,” from Chiller Films and Director / Editor Brett Simmons, who helmed the somewhat popular Husk and The Monkey’s Paw (Also from Chiller Films), blatantly begins his monster movie with the old John Carpenter stand by: White on black Albertus Typeface for the opening credits. (Even with a “Special Make Up FX and Creature Effects Designed Credit to Gary J. Tunnicliffe by way of Rob Bottin). He also just runs the title sequence with music playing in the background (supplied by the cool TomandAndy), supposedly to create some mood and tension. It is an endearing play that was also used to lesser effect, with the recent “Almost Human,” another recent monster flick running in the same vein.

It is quite flattering, since everyone wants to make their own version of “The Thing,” whether it be with aliens or goofy creatures hunting young people in the woods. Yeah, you read right. The Woods. And in a Cabin, even! So, that being said, I was pulled into “Animal” with caution, since the opening credits were very telling, in that Simmons is want to present a type of homage or wink in the direction of Carpenter and even Joe Dante, John Landis and Tobe Hooper. One is just not so sure of the final intent. Will the movie be a complete rip off or at least try to be something entirely different but maintain the respectability of a reverential effort? Who knows? Hmm…I wonder if it will snow tomorrow? Um, sorry…I got off track there a bit.

This film, which was executive produced by Drew Barrymore, starts right off with a frenetic night-time chase sequence in the woods. We have young people running for their lives from a ferocious and feral entity that catches up to one of them and dispatches her in a very violent and bloody manner. Then pops up: “Animal” (White on black again).

Thus begins the film, not terribly impressively, I must add. Simmons introduces us to archtypes right away, with another batch of kids driving towards a densely wooded area for a weekend hike and stay at a family cabin belonging to the sibling of the group. The caricatures just about pummel you in the face. The studly dude, the bitchy chick with huge breasts, the meek and level-headed girl, the gay guy and the baseball cap wearing hipster.

Elizabeth Gillies, from White Collar, as Mandy, immediately overshadows her acting peers with just the right amount of B movie intensity, as where the other actors are sketchy at best. As they walk on through the woods, to their destination, Simmons subjects us to forgettable and banal banter between them all. Before the action begins, we end up finding out the siblings argue a lot, a couple has issues to work out, the loner geek is mis-understood about his sexuality and likes to always joke around, yadda yadda yadda. Blessedly, using reveals and some isolationist tactics, Simmons quickly proceeds to the good stuff. Finally, it is deep night and the group are still not at the cabin, when they begin to hear strange noises and experience what appears to be remains left behind from a fresh kill.

Then the action is amped up when one of the hikers flashes a light on what they all thought was a animal feeding. Well, it isn’t. It is some loud, bald, ravenous and angrywhatchamacallit that starts to chase them down and devour them. The manly dude is struck down and mauled ala An American Werewolf in London. I mean torn apart into meat loaf kind of mauled. The group encounter a couple in a cabin (they claim to have had car trouble and wandered to the cabin), as they try to escape the creature. And Mandy is injured in the attack.

Soap Opera actor Thorsten Kaye plays Carl and Amaury Nolasco is Douglas, seen in the prologue of the film. They go on about the creature’s hunting and eating habits as the rest sit around fearing the worst. Carl seems to the be one charcacter that isn’t totally bananas like Douglas, and seems to know the beast pretty well. They all try to make a plan to escape and elude the monster while occasionally trying to understand what it is. Meanwhile, Douglas seems to be shut away from the rest and appears to know more than he’s letting on.

What follows is hokey but passable monster mayhem. The movie is a modest enough effort with the intermitent scare and jump while the crew is holed up in the Cabin. I give Simmons ample credit for keeping the movie moving at a cool pace and for channeling the “people stuck inside with the monster outside” trope used by so many other directors before him. I ‘m pretty sure he and his writers (supplying some really eye rolling dialog) and crew knew they weren’t setting out to make another “Night of the Living Dead.”

Another surprising element, one that may work in it’s favor for some, is that the gore and splatter are kept to an agreeable minimum. The monster, unfortunately, doesn’t fare as well. I kept looking for a zipper or wire rods holding up it’s claws. Simmons makes the booboo of showing the creature way more than he should (it looks even less impressive in the daylight) of but at least those large predatory teeth looked quite formidable. Much to the credit of Mr Tunnicliffe.

I won’t go into the subplot (there isn’t much of one), or let loose any spoilers for “Animal.” I will let you all just experience it first hand one rainy Saturday night when you have exhausted all other creature features for the night. “Animal” sports nice photography, warm color and so so turns by all the actors involved. (Keke Palmer, of Grey’s Anatomy, is actually not too bad here, either) “Animal” is in no way inventive, pretty routine and not that original but as a kind of mid level monster romp, it is at least efficient, if supremely corny and predictable (There is even a “dude too close to the boarded window rambling on” scene. I kid you not). Towards the finale, there are two shock moments back to back. One was effective, the other really not.

But for something quick to digest before better horror movies to watch, the movie ain’t that terrible. It is a true and true B movie junk with just about every convention thown in except for the kitchen sink. It may work for some as a quick fix but I am confident in saying not too many. It’s like that delightful sugar rush you get when you eat a Snickers bar, right before you abysmally crash. Oh and please, God, consider this as a rental before you buy.

“Grizzly” director, David Hackl, has been around as a pretty competant production designer, AD and Second Unit Director for many recent pictures that have spanned a couple of “Saw” films and even the cool sci fi series “Lexx” from a few years back. His next film, “Life on the Line” will star heavy hitters like John Travolta and Kate Bosworth and is due later this year. His recent film, “Grizzly” was released in 2014 and I must admit to liking it’s laudable creature feature antics that slightly reflect entertaining “killer animal on the loose” flicks like “The Edge,” “The Ghost and Darkness” and even “Day of the Animals.”

Many can make the obvious comparisons of “Grizzly” being a land locked “Jaws,” of course, but this film is nowhere on the level and complexity of that movie but Hackl uses it as a template to exercise some reverent manipulations that reminds one of those fun days of goofy “man vs animal” films of the 70’s and 80’s. It is because of some of the tongue in cheek kitsch that Hackl throws into the movie that made it all kind of work for me. It isn’t the new “Jaws” or even as definitive as “The Ghost and the Darkness” but it surely has that goofy charm that fans of movies, like say, “Orca” could appreciate.

James Marsden (X Men, 30 Rock, X2) plays the newly paroled Rowan, our protagonist, who is hired to return back home to his old Alaskan stomping grounds to track a missing poacher who has disappeared into the wild. When he returns, he immediately is pulled into a confrontation after accidentally propositioning a prostitute (accidentally, yeah right). Lo and behold, Thomas Jane (Deep Blue Sea, The Mist, The Punisher) plays his older brother, Beckett, who is also a Sheriff’s Deputy and ends up arresting Rowan.

The two brothers are forced into a reconciliation that will prove trouble-some. After letting him go and after the obligatory sibling angst and anger is explored, Beckett lets Rowan stay with him at his home. We eventually learn that Beckett’s wife, Michelle (Piper Perabo of Covert Affairs) is a mute-deaf, conservationist out in the Alaskan wilderness, taking pictures and documenting the wildlife, which includes observing the poaching and deforestation that is causing an increase in animal attacks. Especially those involving Grizzly bears. And this one Grizzly, is certainly not in a very kind mood and does not wish to share his forest with humans.

Those who watch “Grizzly” will pretty much know what will unfold through-out the film since the film does not take great pains to be extremely unique or singularly inventive on any level. But what Hackl does is serve up a re-iteration of the classic “animal turned mass murderer” tropes and to the movie’s benefit, it all seems to work in a wacky (yeah, that’s a specific cinematic critique) and nail-bting way.

Billy Bob Thornton, for example, is the indisputable caricature of Quint from Jaws, a character that is a loner, a hunter, a tracker and who seems to know all about the Grizzly bear that is out slaughtering poachers, ax men and hikers alike. This Grizzly (No CGI involved with rendering this bad boy) is more like 3 tons of hungry, pissed off bear. Thornton’s Douglass, is totally like-able and accessible as the surly, abrasive and experienced Ahab figure in “Grizzly.” Douglass is the know it all animal expert that clashes with Beckett and his wife, Michelle, on almost every level.

Scott Glenn (Silence of the Lambs) plays an Alaskan Sheriff, named Sully, who is forced to hire Douglass as Beckett, Rowan and a local Doctor (and Rowan’s ex flame) named Kaley go out to find Michelle and try to prevent the Grizzly from more bodies from turning up as a result of the dangerous “Rogue” bear. Yeah, Thornton calls it a “rogue” bear. If ya gotta steal, then steal from the best, no? Hackl tackles the film commendably with nice and gritty cinematography by James Liston (Canin in the Woods), a slick and dangerous score by Marcus Trumpp (who capably scored World War Z) and a brisk, chop chop running time. Hackl’s decisive direction and knowledge of what makes it all work is indeed creditable.

The bear, named Bart, is a menacing monster. Hackl lets us see everything up close, including the attacks that look very real and had me wondering how they pulled it all off. I would safely assume that it was all done with professional wranglers and skilled stunt people alike. The film has it’s share of brutal attacks, gore, chases, close calls and stunts. As the body count continues and the confrontations increase, the movie has very little time for us to really examine everything that is going on.

This is actually to the advantage of the film-makers. Here, Hackl gives us some character development but never really explores them throughly and I really didn’t care. In “Grizzly” just knowing and learning the basics about everyone is sufficient since I grew impatient for the mayhem to begin. And here, Hackl delivers the mayhem quicky and savagely.

The lush and beautiful British Columbia stands in as Alaska and Liston really shows us the surroundings with a dangerous eye, making the woods and the interiors an integral part of the story and the movie. The movie also nods and winks to many other similar films and sometimes Hackl film walks that thin line between reverance and mimickry. The Ahab-esque obssession of Thornton’s Douglass is a very relevant example.

Every actor on display here is in it for the long haul and even though they escape any scenery chewing or over the top antics, they never really shine either. They seem as if going thru the motions most of the time until Hackl forces them into action, and then Jane, Marsden, Glenn and Perabo kick into high gear. It doesn’t hinder the fun at all, luckily. Thornton has the meaty role in this, though, and his bespeckled and driven Douglass is indeed the most colorful of the bunch. His final showdown with the Grizzly was actually pretty bad ass.

Hackl’s “Grizzly” is a capable, desolute and sometimes witty time waster. It is a meritorious “man vs animal and nature” outing that has much to enjoy in the action and bloodletting sequences but can get bogged down in the obvious “been there, seen that” elements in many places. The tension is just boilerplate and garden variety but the performances are not a complete waste, given the subject matter. The anemic performances actually contrast much of what else happens in the movie, when things are slow.

“Grizzly” can be weak in spots when trying to be heady and something more than what it is (the politics, arguments and debates over conservation, de-forestation and even the encroachment can be trite at times). But for a lazy afternoon, when sitting in your ass grove on the Sofa, you can’t go wrong checking out “Grizzly” between episodes of Helix or 12 Monkeys on Syfy. Definitely consider as a rental before a purchase or only buy if it is at a very wallet-happy price.

How is director Bill Brent’s horror crime thriller, “Wer,” not more well known? More of a household name? Well, it could be for any number of reasons but in the grand scheme of things, I think the film is going to gain even more momentum through word of mouth and good praise down the line. The movie is from 2013 and like many diamonds in the rough that are little known, the movie is both equally impressive and captivating.

Despite that, the movie still continues to be over-looked and missed, even by genre fans who gravitate (mostly through no fault of their own) to other hokey, cliche ridden and trite outings. “Wer” succeeds in making the beasties in the film, which are werewolves, scary and aggressive again. Something that has been way overdue and sorely missed.

Brent, who helmed the universally panned “Devil’s Due,” and his writer Matthew Peterman (Stay Alive) manage to piece together a very perilous movie at breakneck speed with danger and mystery lingering in just about every frame. The film, which appears on the surface, to be a found footage film, is more like a precarious exercise in the latest cinema verite tactics that is emulated to no end. But done here to good effect.

An American family vacationing in France is horrifically mauled by what appears to be a wild and treacherous animal. The sole survivor is the wife and mother of the deceased (Stephanie Lemelin), who is left terribly scarred and disfigured by the attack. French Police Captain Klaus Pistor (Sebastian Roche) is brought in to investigate the murders as the crime gets frenzied national and international attention (There are sufficient talking head moments, here).

Pistor believes that the murders may actually be the work of a powerfully insane man and not an animal. They eventually find a suspect that may match the forensic evidence found on the victims and the crime scene. They bring in loner Talan Gwynek (Brian Scott O’Conner). Talan is a very large, tall and hairy individual who apparently suffers from a debilitating genetic dis-order, which gives Talan a wildly and beastly visage that many fear.

Public defender and Attorney Kate Moore, played by A.J. Cook, is brought in with her team to defend Talan, who appears to have been unable to realize and carry out the mutilations. Along with Kate, there is an old flame named Gavin (Simon Quarterman of The Scorpion King) and Erik (Vik Sahay of Chuck). Gavin is tied to Kate and there is some tension between him and Erik, who has a bit of a sordid history of his own which Gavin discovers, to use later, for his advantage. First and foremost, is the investigation and Kate is determined and passionate about proving the shackled and imprisoned Talan innocent of the ghastly attacks on the young family.

Bell pulls no punches and approaches the investigation like a very capable crime thriller that leaves no stone un-turned. There are meetings, procedures, autopsies and even interviews with Talan’s mother (There is a land dispute subplot here as well that involves Mrs Gwynek and Captain Pistor). Gavin tries to prove that Talan suffers from a rare type of dis-order that affects the person, in a violent way, during the cycle of the full moon. Bell smartly uses, news clips, surveillance, video recording, internet grabs and several POV sequences to tell the story in an interesting and linear way. But, as it’s heart there is a creature feature to be had and Bell delivers. The set up of “Wer” is just the icing on the cake. Bell kicks the suspense and tension right into overdrive and presents a very visceral, inventive and satisfying monster flick.

After a discovery is made towards the last act of the film, “Wer” stays consistently interesting, brutal and very well paced. The movie becomes part “The Fugitive” and part “Wolf.” There is an exceptional chase sequence in the city involving Talan and 2 dozen Police Officers, which is refreshing to watch especially with this type of movie. The action set pieces are well cut and flow nicely while keeping overt gore to a minimum. Something that was very reminiscent of the recent found footage movie, “Afflicted,” which also took place overseas.

Now let’s get to the “werewolf” part of this movie. (The word is only used twice, I believe). It is very well done, and even if the finale concentrates more on the action and trying to reconcile Talan’s and Gavin’s eventual fates, the movie by then has done a commendable job. “Wer” makes the mythology about werewolves very real and solid, displaying the respect it deserves. It deftly makes you forget you are watching a type of found footage film with some great practical make up FX and little to no CGI to muck things up. Just about every scene in “Wer” is concise, creepy and threatening, much to our joy.

It is a well acted and presented thriller that makes so many subtle winks and references for fans of the genre while not having every character going around delivering hokey “werewolfisms.” “Wer” never insults our intelligence. The character arcs are nicely wrapped up with Gavin being the one character that changes the most, throughout. His menace comes right through even when initially introduced as a passive and quirky personality. This, in turn, makes all of the performances gel, especially between O’Conner and Cook who have a significant chemistry and when they are both on screen the suspense is through the roof.

So, in closing, gang, “Wer” is definitely worth your time and I tried to keep most of this review spoiler free. There is a lot to enjoy in this movie which helps to revert the werewolf film into a compelling, forceful and symbolic little indie horror. It does indeed make them scary again with this convincing and sometimes weighty approach. Enjoy!

A giant alien spider escapes from a military lab and rampage the city of Los Angeles. When a massive military strike fails, it is up to a team of scientists and one clever exterminator to kill the creature before the city is destroyed.

Director Mike Mendez, who surprised many horror movie fans with his capable and engaging supernatural thriller, “The Gravedancers,” goes all out with this retro and humorous sci fi monster flick called “Big Ass Spider.” Writer Greg Gieras (Centipede! and Dark Island) supplies the brisk story of an alien spider (whipped up in a biology lab for the US Government) that grows in size while terrorizing hapless citizens in LA. The movie begins with actor Greg Grunberg (LOST, Heroes) as professional insect exterminator, Alex Mathis, waking up on a devastated L.A. street. He makes his way, disoriented, to what appears to be the source of all the destruction and mayhem and then Mendez eventually shows us a shot of a large “behemoth” spider at the top of a building fighting off Army Helicopters and Jets as it uses it’s webs and long legs to defend itself. The movie, then, is off with a bang.

So, ok, that’s the set up. You know right away that this is going to be a quite zany ride full of monster mayhem with over the top characters and situations not excluding some funky CGI of a spider going around dissolving it’s poor victims with acid spray and devouring hospital patients and Army guys. On, pretty much any given Saturday afternoon, the SyFy Channel churns out farcical Z grade monster pictures with has been actors, shaky CGI and dodgy dialog. For the most part the films have been solidifying that fact that these flicks are disposable and completely bargain bin material. The social media success of the movie “Sharknado” seems to have re-vitalized the interest of these “so bad, it’s good” monster films. But when they double dip and tap that well too many times we stop enjoying these films (how many bigfoot or crocodile monster pictures do we really need?) and start ridiculing them.

That being said, though, Mendez manages to whip up a fun little creature feature about, yes, a “Big Ass Spider.” The title alone gives you an indication that the film is going to try to be bold and unique. Well, somewhat unique. Mendez and crew go in trying to separate itself from all of the other inane entries of this genre with a sense of humor and a slew of stereotypical vignettes that are sometimes hilarious and other times a bit cringe inducing. Alex (Grunberg), at the films beginning arrives to save an elderly woman (Lin Shaye) from a nasty little rat. It appears that she has something for Alex and tries often to get him out to her house in order to feel his man breasts and give him fruit bread. This early sequence is pleasing, light and shows us that Alex is a bit awkward but honest and like-able.

After he gets bit by a rare spider he finds himself in the Hospital and once there he continues to show us that he is not very good at flirting, conversing and defines himself to others by being able to “be the spider” and “think like the spider” or some hokey thing like that. Meanwhile, in another part of the Hospital, a nasty foreign spider eats it’s way out of a dead man’s chest and starts to make it’s rounds munching on patients and spitting acid at people while it grows rapidly in various stages of growth. Ray Wise (Jeepers Creepers 2) as an Army heavy and Patrick Bauchau also star in the film as does Clare Kramer as LT. Brant who starts to fall for Alex after he is recruited at the Hospital to help the Army catch the spider. After the spider gets away and Alex and his sidekick, the hilarious Jose (Boyar) take things into their own hands and pursue the monster spider as it wreaks havoc in L.A.

With his meager budget, Mendez gives us brisk 80 minutes of spider mayhem that takes itself seriously but maintains a lot of absurdity and fun. He respects classic giant monster films and it shows. There are some great scenes of the spider knocking off all kinds of people (the park sequence has to been seen to be believed) with it’s webbing while impaling joggers and scantily clad woman in bikini’s and thongs with it’s sharp and lethal legs.. The film is not very politically correct and it knows this. In bits here and there, the movie treads on tasteless ground but never to the point of offending. The film gives us just about every stereotype there is solely for laughs in order to create a dynamic. Jose being one of the most prominent stereotypes as an uneducated but brave hispanic security guard. Now, don’t get me wrong the movie is not always that funny. Some jokes and scenes do fall flat and you may find yourself rolling your eyes a bit but I commend Mendez for pulling all the stops, here.

More mayhem ensues with Army helicopters, tanks, jets, explosions and even a pretty well staged confrontation with the Army, the spider, Alex and Jose in the park. It does end well for Alex’s Exterminator pick up truck, though. “BAS” is simple and decisive in the way it unfolds and Mendez gives us fun characters to love and hate and he does it with a keen respect. Despite being a small picture, Mendez produces some large fits and starts to the material giving it an edge over more like minded adventures. Boyar and Grunberg (and Kramer) all have great chemistry and Wise is capable, tough and even amiable. They hold the movie together as they know the film should be taken with a semi serious grain of salt. The humor works in it’s favor as well. The film is not completely self aware or overly self referential and as we follow the exploits of Alex, Brant, Jose and The US Army, we get to have fun riding along with them. “Big Ass Spider” is a gas of a movie and fares well by the end as it wraps up nicely.

Not sporting the best FX in the business, the CGI stills looks ok and we already know by the film’s start what we are getting into. Mendez’ movies shows admiration, grit and sustainability which makes “BAS” a very cool little monster flick for a Saturday afternoon. It’s loud, silly and sports some great tongue in cheek hilarity that is very refreshing. Enjoy!

Travis and his team travel to China in search of what isn’t supposed to exist … their mission to capture a Cryptid which is wreaking havoc in a remote village and they need to do this before it is killed by Harker, the legendary bounty hunter.

Some B movie creature features you just have to be in the right mood to enjoy. That being said, I actually liked “Legendary” a UK/ Chinese production from director Eric Styles (Miss Conception) and writer Andy Briggs (Rise of the Gargoyles). I felt that there was just the right amount of humor, creature action and hokey, crypto, pseudo-science to make the film a decent tongue in cheek outing. Styles’ movie is part “Ghost and the Darkness” with some “Jurassic Park” and Indiana Jones thrown in. Obviously, not on the level of any of those films but Styles already know that and it does not deter him from “winking” at many like minded monster movies.

The movie, though frivolous, is fun in a “you can’t take any of this mumbo jumbo very serious” sort of way. The film opens quite strongly which it does right in it’s favor. After a crytpo expedition goes awry, resulting in the death of a colleague, Travis Preston (Scott Adkins of Zero Dark Thirty) finds himself at odds with a slew of litigious people and also is embroiled in an antagonistic relationship with a animal tracker and hunter named Harker played by Dolph Lundgren (The Expendables). After being approached by a rich Attorney, named Doug (James Lance), Travis and his crew, Katie (Lydia Leonard) and Brandon (Nathan Lee), head back out to China to find a crypto (seen in video footage taken by the brother of a teacher) which is elusive but not enough so that i makes it way to devouring utility workers.

So, the hunt begins for the creature. As they get started and investigate some deaths, Travis and his crew run into Harker back at a excavation dig. Things get heated and Harker winds up pissing Travis off and fisticuffs ensue. Lundgren, here, is….well, Lundgren. He talks like Lundgren and walks like Lundgren. He chomps on cigars, boozes, runs around with rifles and shotguns shooting and causing mayhem. Just what you want Dolph to do in your film, no? (Lundgren is even guilty of waxing philosophic at one point which is a highlight) Lundgren brings a bit of charm to the movie and he has a cheery twinkle in his eye cementing the fact that he appears to have had some fun making this movie and Styles uses him to full effect.

The film provides us with a decent and tight pace with the right amount of character interaction, investigations and Styles’ approach regarding the humor among the characters is like-able. There are some capably staged action sequences with shootouts, night time boat expeditions (where it becomes a bit of a cheeky “Jaws” rip off) and a few close calls (one involving Doug and a broken off piece of a dock is pretty well done) to round out the convivial proceedings. What I enjoyed, also, is that Styles and Briggs actually supply some good dialogue and character development. The exchanges about the creature, it’s prey, it’s habitat and so on all sound a bit ludicrous but it is agreeable because we get to know these guys (Brandon, Briggs and Katie, respectively) through their actions and decisions (some of which are noggin scratchers but oh well).

Some of the crytpo “science babble” is indeed hokey and at times we clearly understand Harker motivations for getting rid of this beast better than the motivation of Travis for wanting to study it. It’s not too distracting though. If there is any gripe I have with the film it would be that once we see the “Dragon” monster (we first see it in a murky underwater sequence), it isn’t very intimidating or fierce looking. The CGI is hit or miss, here and when it does look good, it is just barely so. Shots linger a bit too long on the creatures (yeah, I said creatures, plural. you will figure it out pretty quickly, anyway) but the confrontation between Travis and Harker in the lair of the “dragon” is quite exciting if a bit un-evenly choreographed. Interestingly enough, a pretty cool sequence actually involves Travis and a colleague of Harker named Dr Zeng (Yi Huang) as they try to escape from Harker’s thugs and try a getaway on a motorcycle.

“Legendary” is an enjoyable enough Saturday “matinee” type of film that is executed with some degree of respect for what a good B picture should be. For the budget, $12,000,000 (estimated), Styles packs in quite a bit of diverting material and enough B movie convention. It is all done in fun and it does not take itself very seriously (Nathan Lee provides much of the humor, here, thankfully). The performances by all are very competent and pretty straight forward. Technically, the film, shot on Red Epic and filmed in China, looks good and sounds good much to the credit of Styles’ DP Shu Yang (Sacrifice) and the rest of the art dept and sound / adr crew. As a result, Styles’ film looks appealing when he takes advantage of the exotic locales and lush landscapes.

“Legendary” is an entertaining and boisterous monster movie that has some cool monster action, corny but capable dialogue and fun performances from those involved. A decent weekend flick that is light, quick and flip. It is hokey and dumb but it is dumb fun with the right amount of diverting appeal to propel it into pleasant creature feature territory. Enjoy!

– “I’m Confused. Did a creature do this or is there some raving lunatic running around the woods killing people?”

– “Both!”

“Night Claws” is a rarely charming but ultimately goofy throwback to the creature features of the 1980’s. It isn’t a bad thing, though, if that is what the director intended. Those lines are blurred by some very pedestrian acting, a silly set up and very amateurish camera work. So, I am not too sure what the intention was with this film. The story, which involves a Bigfoot terrorizing a small backwoods town is threadbare and shabby. It plays very by the numbers which would have given it some interesting status in the past but in the present day seems quite verbose.

Reb Brown (The Howling II and Captain America) plays Sheriff Joe Kelley and he has his hands full with dealing with the aftermath of the brutal slaying of two teens killed in the woods. He is joined by an anthropologist named Sarah Evans (Leilani Sarelle from Days of Thunder) to assist him with the investigation. These proceedings are made a bit laughable with how non chalant they all seem to be when they mention a Bigfoot is loose in the woods. The horrid acting does not allow the viewer to actually be convinced that the characters are either uninterested or deeply concerned. The interaction between Evans, Kelley, a forensics specialist and even a local town drunk, (who clams to have seen a whole family of Bigfoots), is hokey and flat.

The Sheriff’s girlfriend, Deputy Roberta (Sherrie Rose) also establishes herself as a smart but somewhat jealous (of Evans) woman trying to help hunt down the beast. While the investigation ensues, a survivalist camping trip takes place with a rag tag bunch of hikers who are only in this story as Bigfoot bait. Director David A. Prior (who also edited the picture) sets them all up individually as their hiking leader, Sharon (Tara Kleinpeter) struggles to control the heated interaction of 2 guys who get into a argument. She succeeds in calming everyone down but Charlie (Ted Prior) remains an asshole and comes across as a belligerent dick. His wife Cindy, played by Alissa Koenig, (who is the worst actress I have ever had the displeasure of watching) is just an annoying stereotype of a trophy wife.

The hike goes awry one night ( It never really looks like night and was probably done “day for night” when shooting. That is why the movie has a funky bluish hue during those scenes) and Charlie pulls a gun and does and says some really dumb macho crap. But it may all be a ruse. A big game hunter dude named Crawford (David Campbell), with 2 others (who Crawford calls number 1 and number 2), is also on the trail of the monster, acting as a poor man’s landlocked Quint. Meanwhile, Kelley diffuses a lynch mob and tells Evans that “Cooter” (yeah, I know) is not a reliable source. Eventually they head out to look for the hikers (without flashlights for some reason) and the Bigfoot mystery deepens when a mysterious man named Testi (Frank Stallone) eventually shows up with some funky agenda.

During the hunt, Crawford learns the hard way that Charlie knows how to defend himself. Also, 2 local dumb asses (introduced in a bit of bad looking green screen while driving), ignore the Sheriff’s warning and head out to get wasted in the woods for no apparent reason other than to get drunk and get laid. Huh? Anyway, Crawford ends up using Charlie in order to lure out the monster. Back at the party in the wood, Bigfoot shows up starts to tear everyone to pieces. Some he grabs and others he slashes with his huge claws. So, will the Sheriff get to everyone in time? And will Crawford nab the beast? Who is Testi? Who will survive the attacks? Who cares?

In it’s defense, “Night Claws” actually manages to produce an interesting conclusion. But the film is so full of low budget camp and cheese, ad nauseum, that might distract some viewers. The movie has a somewhat like-able bunch of B movie actors to deliver all of the preposterous dialog as if bored to death or as if rehearsing for a high school stage play. I must admit that Sherrie Rose was fun to watch, here. I really struggled to stay awake through this movie, though. The monster, Sasquatch himself, dispatched people in weird ways, too. Do you really think Bigfoot would squeeze your head to death if he really existed? The make up department gets kudos for creating a bunch of believe-able looking monsters at least (though they are shown way too long in the shots) and the minimal and bloody graphic violence is shot and edited with blessed quickness. The score by Chuck Cirino and the camerawork by Sodric Dira are not very impressive but it has a bit of goofy charisma. Just a bit.

“Night Claws” really doesn’t make an extra effort to stand apart and the 80’s throwback feel is not really enough to make this film all that terrifying or interesting. It is a slim, no budget creature feature that looks flat and has actors that are even flatter. It doesn’t even qualify for the coveted “so bad it’s good” type of Bigfoot movie that “The Asylum” churns out on their assembly line all the time. Oh and stay for the end credits and song. You have to hear and see it to believe it. Watch if you are really bored and in the mood for something sucky and forgettable. Which I hope you aren’t.

Director Steven C. Miller (Silent Night) and writer Eric Stolze (Peer Pressure) bring to the screen a suburban folk nightmare in “Under The Bed” from 2012. It stars Jonny Weston (John Dies at the End, Chasing Mavericks) as Neal Hausman and young rising star Gattlin Griffith (Green Lantern) as his younger brother Paulie. The brothers, in this neat, lean and sometimes wobbly horror flick, only have each other to count on. They are forced to battle an other-worldy monster that lives and enters our world from under the…yep, you guessed it. The Bed.

The film begins with a nice, tightly shot sequence of Neal and his Dad talking about Neal’s return home from staying with a relative in Florida. Neal is coming home to a new Step-Mom but has to face old problems. There was a bad incident in the past that forced Neal to be sent away and undergo therapy. As it turns out he caused the death of his Mother from a fire that he caused while trying to eliminate a threat to the family. It was a tragedy that not only affected him but his Father and his younger, vulnerable brother, Paulie. Neal returns to a large welcome home party where he meets his Step-Mother and some old friends and neighbors.

Neal seems distracted though as he only wants to see his brother who is absent from the party. Miller shows us with unease and boldness how through Neal’s eyes we see his anxiety. Things slow down, people start to speak slowly and deeply. Almost as if he was tranquilized. I thought it was an interesting start into watching what drives Neal’s mental state. He eventually heads upstairs and finds Paulie hiding behind some boxes. The boys reconcile and when they are found by their Dad, who always seems to be shouting and having a meltdown, they are forced to help each other move forward. Neal takes his brother to get some food and a local diner where he is seen by some local bullies and an old flame. Miller and Stolze establishes nicely some dynamics between Paulie and Neal. They joke, smile, laugh and communicate very deeply which really benefits the material.

Miller pauses and slows down to help us get used to Neal and Paulie. We also watch as the relationship between them and their Father causes strain, distrust and eventually calamity. Oh and I forgot. They have a creature in their room that poses quite a threat too. They boys take matters into their own hands and Paulie, being the new victim, is attached to Neal at the hip in order to get through the night. Miller takes the material and with Stolze enters Joe Dante land but with a more visceral and deadly approach.

Unlike Dante’s “The Hole” Miller is deadly serious here and supplants the light hearted themes of Dante’s movie with scares, loud noises, mysterious fog and a creepy hooded figure out of a gothic horror novel. The boys deal with horrors outside the home too. Paulie has a meltdown at a school play after he falls asleep and faces some terrible images that cause him to seize and scream aloud scaring the people around him. What I liked was that Stolze links the brothers. What one feels, so does the other. They even both drift of to sleep at the same time. They are bonded beyond the normal realm of the awake.

As they try to work out the mess they are into with their Father, Neal and Paulie try to outsmart the monster as it comes ever closer to snaring and snatching them to take back to it’s nightmarish dimension. Miller gives us foggy rooms, slow zooms and his DP Joseph White (Mother’s Day) uses his camera effectively by penetrating space, shooting dimly lit hallways, zooming in slowly on closed doors and doing some killer reveals that made me jump. Of course there are some cheap scares but they do not distract.

After the boys are forced to spend the night at a neighbor’s after they piss of the Dad, do things get really hairy. It seems that the horror of Neal and Paulie’s bedroom has followed them next door and even Neal’s ex-girlfriend, Cara (Kelcie Stranahan), is in mortal danger. Miller pulls no punches in the last act. What came before is tame and restrained compared to the finale which is at times is sort of an “Insidious” meets “The Twilight Zone.” After the creature appears and causes gory and unspeakable mayhem the action then shifts back to the Hausman home where Neal, with the help of the Step-Mother, Angela (Musetts Vander) try desperately to save Paulie.

Neal crosses over ala “Poltergeist” into the creature’s dimension using rope and a jury rigged pole with flash lights attached. The monster dislikes the light it seems. Angela, who steps up to the plate, has hold of the rope on the other end. So, will Neal be able to save his brother and destroy the monster? Will Neal eventually warm up to his Step-Mom? I recommend you give “Under The Bed’ a watch and find out. The story isn’t the most original thing ever written and there is a bit of a problem with pacing at the film’s open but it settles into it’s groove and provides gory, fast and dangerous fun that works best when Miller and Stolze use the dynamic between Weston and Griffith to propel the story onward.

It’s creepy, has fable like elements and has some pretty cool make up FX. It is shot very tightly and impressively for a dark film. It’s a cool little movie that has a very eerie feel within the confines of the modern suburban folk horror sub-genre. You could do worse on a late Saturday night than watching this interesting entry. Enjoy, gang! Let me know your thoughts, too, please!