Monday, October 18, 2010

Ten things i need to say...

2. fuck you for leading me on, because i care about you more than i've ever fucking cared about another person in my life. tell me what the fuck it is you want from me because i'd give you everything.

3. fuck you for pretending like you actually ever gave a shit about me. once i stopped making an effort, you all fucking disappeared. you never cared, so you can ease up on the fake bullshit now. i don't need any of you.

4. fuck you for being nothing but a complete hypocrite. you hate being left out the one time a month that actually happens? i don't recall the last fucking time you or anyone else invited me to go anywhere when you're all together. bitches. wanna know what i do every day? work. then i come home and sit by my fucking self all night. if that ever actually happens to you, then we can talk about what lonely feels like. until then, stfu.

5. fuck you for your judgmental, ignorant attitude. i will live my life the way i choose, thanks. your opinion is not needed and sure is hell, isn't wanted.

6. fuck you for watching me slowly wither away in pain and not doing a damn thing about it.

7. fuck you for making me unable to trust anymore.

8. fuck you for never noticing me. someday i'm going to show you what you missed.

9. fuck you for making me believe that i had finally found a best friend that wasn't going to walk away when i fucking needed you the most. i'm done with this guessing game bullshit. you want me in your life, you'll put me there. if not, then i'm done. but i will always fucking love you more than life itself, and i will always be here.

10. fuck you for turning me into this self conscious mess. you treated me like shit. you verbally abused me until i was at your feet begging for mercy. fuck you for turning me into someone i never wanted to be. i don't know how to undo the damage you've done to me.

i'm really sorry this is such an angry post. but i'm breaking down, and i don't know how to fix it. i don't want to hurt anymore. i've lost everything that meant anything to me