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His Question
Strip club addiction?
Im sick and tired of pissing money at the strip club. Ive blown over $50,000 at the strip club in the last 11 years. Im addicted to live pornography. I feel so guilty about spending all that money. I could have given it to someone that needs it . Why am I doing this and who else can I give this money to ...I wish I was broke .

My Answer:
The bad part about strippers is they are overpriced hookers that donâ€™t put out. They will almost never do anything with you outside the club. Often they are addicted to drugs although thatâ€™s not your problem. And besides you are not getting anything from them anyways, it is not like they are a friend you can call up if you needed help. And they typically have no respect for you and pretty much are always deceitful. They usually want to extract as much money as possible while giving as little as possible. It is a relationship that goes nowhere. I have never known a guy who dated a stripper, and I have known many, and had a good relationship. This kind of relationships always has a lot of problems. They are very rocky from the get go and only get worse with time. It never ever works out. While most strippers are like this and these negative characteristics are by no means exclusive only to strippers, all this gets old after a while, albeit it is better than jerking off at home alone.
Now all thatâ€™s the bad news.

50,000 dollars over 11 years comes out to:
$4545.45 a year
$378.78 a month
$12.63 a day

50K over 11 years is not so bad. It depends on what you a getting. The quality and types of services you are receiving. Hell I paid a lot more for 6 years of marriage. And got less in return. So you are doing better than I am!
If you are married I have to ask why are you doing this? Has your wife got fat and lazy, cropped her hair, nag and complain about everything and rarely and begrudgingly puts out. The longer you wait the worse this will get and the more it will cost. After 10 years you could be paying alimony forever. Get out ASAP. And donâ€™t get married again. No marriage and the great female con - just Google that for more info.
I am a little confused why you feel bad about this. Is it just the money or do you feel guilty for going to a strip club because you enjoy beautiful women. I was talking my friend's wife today and she said she has a friend who works at the Spearmint Rhino and makes over 300K a year. Then she went into how she is victimized by this. I said 300k is more than most doctors make, I donâ€™t understand how she is a victim. It is the guys that are victims if anyone is. For what little service strippers give it is a fraud and way overpriced in my opinion.
Youâ€™re a guy and you need a woman and there is nothing wrong with that. You want a good-looking woman, that means not fat and ugly. That is not so easy to come by in America, as a majority of women are overweight. In most other countries this is not the case. Lets faces it, you need to get laid. For some strange reason women will criticize you for this. Thatâ€™s like criticizing someone for breathing; it makes no sense and really is just total bs. Who needs that.
I just came back from the Philippines and the women are ten times better than anything here in America. And the Philippine nightlife, type that in Google and find out more.
For what you pay for just one lap dance you get the girl all night doing everything you want. You want a loyal beautiful girlfriend or wife. You have too many choices. It is time to think outside of the box and make some changes in your life.

Merlin wrote:I married a stripper. Cost me more than ten times what you paid in property division for a marriage of about the same time period PLUS another hundred grand in maintenance (spousal not child).

Oh, and did I mention how wonderful the marriage was?

Consider yourself lucky -- no, _blessed_...

W: Yeah but you must have gotten great sex and a great bod for years right? Must have felt great every night to be next to a hot bod.

$50,000 could have gone to your retirement fund (IRA or whatever), a house, a hot car, a nice vacation (where you could get hot chicks for less money), ect, ect ect. Why am I lecturing? Because. You could get a hot chick for free without spending all that money. Save your cash ,and don't spend it to look at sugar tits. Just get a girl for free and enjoy.

PS: If you honestly feel that there is a lack of hot girls in your life, just remember this... that you should only demand what you want, and forget about what you do not like. Singles ads are not a good way to meet girls. If you see a hot girl, smile and say "hi". Maybe that might work well for you.

Maybe try this: say "hi", and smile. If she says "hi" back, look into her eyes for 2 seconds. Then say "Wow. You have amazing eyes". And leave it at that. The next move is up to her.

Basically... I think nothing wrong with wanting to go to strip clubs. Nothing wrong at all. But there are hot girls out there that will get with any guy without any money having to be spent. It may be "hard" to find... but maybe it's not as hard as you think. One secret I've learned in life is
"f**k whatever everyone else thinks". If you want something, if you demand something, you will get it. Trust me. I've seen fat chicks with hot sugar daddies before. If a fat girl can get that, why can't a regular guy get a hot girl for sensual pleasures? It's all about demanding what you want. Don't look to the girls you don't like. Don't worry about impressing them. Just go for it, and the rest will follow.

I have been frustrated by my own inability to travel to South America recently. I was hence resorting to strip clubs for a while. Darn good times, but ay-y too much money. At first I was dropping $100-$200 per visit. It progressively escalated to the point of dropping $500 -$800 per visit in the afternoon/evening.

Too many stimuli at once, the alcohol, the girls, the hypnotic music, the camraderie of the other bored male types looking to spend for a good time. I was becoming a frequent bigshot at the clubs. Do you think these ingrate f's (the bars) would have even spotted me a free drink as token of appeciation? You know the answer. . .NOOOOO!

It's not worth it. The only answer is don't set foot in there. Otherwise they will always win, and you will be down some serious money.

As you have never known anyone who has dated a stripper before, I thought I should represent that group of men. For the most part, strippers date guys who are total losers, and it doesn't matter if the girl is assed out or the sexiest girl in the club, they almost all have self-esteem issues. I suppose I have been the exception to the rule in a lot of ways, so I will give you guys a few tips on how to hook up with a dancer.

First of all, I am not the typical derelict that these girls normally date. I am the owner of an ad agency and a software development firm, and I work as hard as I play. When I go into a club where I don't know anyone, I sit at the bar and order drinks.. when I girl comes by and asks for a dance, I buy her a drink instead, and I slip her a $20 every few songs (because she is there to make money).. now she can just hang out and talk instead of trying to work me. If you remove the $20 from the equation, this is the same thing you would do at any other bar if you were trying to pick up a girl.. but here is the rub.. this is not usually the girl I am after, she is just the first polite girl to approach me (a drunk belligerent girl is annoying and useless). After I get to know her a little, and I learn a few things about the girl I have my eye on, I dispatch this girl as my emissary and she returns with the girl I have had my eye on.. I wait until the girl I want to meet is on stage, and I send the girl sitting with me up to get her.. a $20 for each of them usually gets it done.

After the set, the girl I am interested in will come over to thank me, and either sit down right away or come back as soon as she gets rid of the guy she was sitting with before. Now this is important guys.. don't dismiss the girl you were sitting with before.. continue to tip her and buy her drinks.. the girl who just sat down will get rid of her for you, and this keeps you from looking like an asshole. Even though you are in a strip club with half naked sluts walking around, being a gentleman will separate you from the rest of the drunk guys trying to get laid.

Now that you are with the girl you want to hook up with, do the same thing you did before.. buy her drinks and talk to her.. if grabbing her ass or staring at her tits was going to get you laid, you wouldn't be complaining about the money you wasted. These girls are not used to being treated like people, and they respond very well to not being sized up like a piece of meat. It's definitely important to flirt, but don't be crude.. these girls are absolute freaks in the bedroom, and I mean freaks, so the usual pick up lines will get you nowhere with them. You are better off to talk trash about every other guy in the bar.. like you have no respect for these pathetic losers, and what do they expect to buy for $1? If it's only worth $1, then I don't want it. They watch your money like hawks, so don't act cheap.. always tip your bartender between 30% and 50%.. and always give her all the $1 bills. If she gives you a bunch of $1's, give them back (politely) and ask her to give you nothing smaller than a $5 or $10.. If this breaks your bank, you don't have enough cash to play this game.. If you want to hook up with a stripper in a club, you better plan on dropping a few thousand minimum over 2 to 3 nights. By the 3rd night of hanging out and flirting with this girl, she will be avoiding all of the other guys in the club completely and ready to go out with you for a date.. She may want to bring a friend the first time or two, and go to a public place.. let her, and be polite to her friend.. this is not a double date, she wants to make sure you aren't some psycho stalker. Once she is comfortable she will leave her friend at home, and she will be primed for action. Don't disappoint her either.. run a batch before you leave, and take viagra if you need it.. but be prepared to go down, and ride her hard for at least an hour straight.. these girls are freaks.

They won't ever ask you for money in exchange for sex.. they will ask you to help them pay the rent, or make their car payment, and they will spend the evening with you when you give them the money.. or they may call and say they don't feel like working tonight, but they really need the money.. so you say, what would you make if you went in tonight after paying the bar, the bouncer, the dj, the house fee, etc..? Maybe $300? Why don't you come hang out with me tonight instead? I'll give you $300 and you don't have to deal with drunk assholes.. we can have some fun instead.. That is exactly what she wanted to hear, and she is already on the way over before she hangs up the phone.. sometimes she is sitting just down the block from your house when she calls, hoping you invite her over and offer to take care of her. This may seem like a bunch of bullshit, or some stupid game, but that is just the way they do things.. it's worth it to play, trust me.

Now there are always a few exceptions.. some of these girls are straight up pro's, but they don't advertise, and they don't f**k with broke guys.. they are call girls, not hookers.. and they may have 4 or 5 guys they screw for cash in a whole year.. the same guys every week/month.. and the only way you get on the list is by invitation. As with any girl in the club, the absolute stupidest thing you could ever do is offer her money in exchange for sex.. or to even insinuate it.. it's a given, but saying it out loud is insulting, and may even make you look like a cop.. in any case, you may as well pack your shit and find a new club after you let something like that slip..
If you get the invite, she will hand you a card or a napkin with her number on it, and ask you to call her later if you want to party.. probably will put your hand on or in her while you are getting a dance. The trick is to not be grabbing all on them when they give you a dance like you are trying to bust a nut in the club.. smooth guys don't do shit like that, and a pro only wants a smooth guy.. they f**k for money, but they still have to like you..
She will be watching you at the bar, asking the bartender how well you tip, and if you seem like a nice guy (not a f***ing psycho).. she almost always has a pimp hanging out in the bar acting like a customer.. and if you get noticed, you may get an invitation.. don't go in looking for it, staring at everyone like you expect it.. that will insure you get no attention.. just be cool, drop some cash, and don't act like you want or expect anything.. that is the trick to getting everything in a strip club. And it's not something you ever want to turn down, because these girls are basically fantasy girls.. not hookers. You tell them exactly what turns you on (they will ask), and that is exactly what you will get every time.. whatever you want to do to them, or them to you, whenever, wherever, it's all good.. it is the jackpot at any strip club. And if the girl really likes you, like you get her off, she may just start hooking up with you for free.. I had that happen with one girl and it lasted a couple of years. Turned out she was into some really kinky fetish shit that I was experimenting with, and she just wanted more.. if a regular dancer is a freak, these girls are straight up "Rick James" superfreaks.

If every young man lost it with one of these girls, there would be a lot more real men in the world.. and a lot less womens lib.. cause when you f**k a woman right, she doesn't want to put a suit on in the morning and compete with her husband.. she wants to go down on him before he leaves, and as soon as he gets back.. hoping he will bend her over and f**k the shit out of her.

As for my credentials, I have had 5 serious relationships with dancers.. each lasting between 1 year and almost 4 years (engaged once).. outside of the serious relationships, I honestly don't know how many girls I have hooked up with.. usually if you hook up with one girl in the club and you treat her right, she will tell all of the other girls.. a guy who spends money, is cool to hang out with, and who can f**k, is a real trophy.. and you will find that all of the other girls are suddenly very interested in you. For one thing you are safe.. the first girl you hooked up with was like the crash test dummy.. if she went home with you and made it back in one piece, the other girls can trust you. Then it seems to be a contest between them, like you are a new whale in Vegas, and every hostess wants to land you. You can hook up with several girls in just a few weeks if things go well with the first one.

As long as you are a decent looking guy.. cool and laid back.. the kind of guy she wouldn't be embarrassed to be in public with, and you spend some money (even if you are counting your dollars, don't act like it), you should have no problem hooking up. I prefer hooking up in strip clubs over regular clubs, and to me it seems easier to do.. I have been doing this since I was 18, and I'm now 38.. a decent looking guy, but not a supermodel by any stretch, and I still don't have any trouble meeting dancers. I usually like girls between 23 and 26, but most of these girls have daddy issues anyway, so they prefer to date older men.. they are pretty much all fair game, and it works out well for everyone. She gets an older secure man, and you get an attractive young sex machine/trophy girlfriend.. I am talking about girls in the states here, not overseas.. I am thinking about checking out Thailand, or somewhere similar for a vacation, but I have always had a good time at home.

Btw, some of these girls are really nice people once you get to know them. Being bitchy and acting selfish and self-centered at work is as much a defense mechanism as anything else.. just think of how much shit they have to put up with every single night.. but if they let down their defenses and you get to know them, let's just say I have friends who are dancers that I could call anytime for help.. not girls I give money to, but girls that are just true friends who would do anything in the world for me.. and I would do the same for them, but they would never ask me for a dime unless it was a real emergency.. and even then, they always insist on giving the money back as soon as they can when I don't want it. I'm even friends with most of my ex's still too, although a couple of them had to get past the jealous stage. You hit it on the head when you said that strippers are like hookers who don't put out.. they aren't hookers (for the most part), and they aren't whores who cheat either, so don't treat them like they are. Some guys really do meet their girlfriends at a strip club, and some dancers are the kind of girls you want to marry. Bottom line, treat these girls like regular people, and show them the same respect you would to any other woman, and your luck will probably change as fast as your approach does. Best wishes .

In my younger days, I had my fun in City of Industry clubs (LA) and Vietnamese bikini coffee houses in OC. Good times. "Friends with benefits" by invite only. Those lacking patience should look elsewhere.

You can do all that for way less money in most other 2nd or 3rd world countries. It works the same whether its America or Thailand/Philippines. However I don't share the same enthusiasm for finding quality relationship material in any of those places. I used to be optimistic about every girl being a person and treat them well and all that shit. Well I don't treat people bad, generally. However, I've learned that girls that work the nightlife scenes usually have mental issues of one kind or another and are generally not compatible with people who work the real world with typical jobs or business ties. They are good for short term flings but never permanent as they are generally damaged goods and show it in their life outside of work just as much as within it, just in different fashions. If you like spending hundreds or thousands or dollars for nookie and it gets your rocks off I could care less but I don't think woman are worth that much to bother with, but that's me. Once you blow your load the mind clears to some semblance of reality and it's not a big deal who helped it to happen in many cases.

Just think of woman as cars and its a bit easier to understand them. When they first come off the lot they are pristine and top for the year, everyone wants to ride them. However as years go on they lose their value and wear and tear starts to show. Luxury cars are higher maintenance as they cost more to repair and keep looking good. Mid range cars keep chugging along even though they were never the cream of the crop. Economy cars were only good for the first few years and then they are pretty much junk, not worth the trouble unless you are desperate for a ride and can't afford anything else. If you got money just get a rental car. It's easier to get the latest high end model and you can always get rid of it for a new one after the lease is up.

Most guys can't afford to spend 1000's at strip joints and if they can well why are they wasting their time with American women? It's so much more fun to travel and play the game with foreign women than American women. Plus less shit to deal with generally. I'd rather spend thousands traveling and learning than on American women in strip joints. If you attract woman with money that is all the relationship will really be about, material desires and passions and not much else. Doesn't generally do it for me.

If you like the naughty nightlife scene don't just think of going to Thailand, do it! It's like nothing you will have ever experienced before! Philippines is decent also but not as extensive as Thailand is. I prefer to live in Philippines but would rather holiday in Thailand, much more fun than Philippines overall.

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.