Personally I have no time for computers, and computers have no time for me. I know this as a fact because every time I go near a keyboard something absolutely crucial gets lost from the memory and an apoplectic wife, or member of our team has a rant at me. Adjectives such as Luddite, incompetent, thick and the S word get used a lot (I mean stupid, stupid)!

Most people think that computers are programmed machines that do our bidding IF you do things in a rational and computer literate manner. I, on the other hand, seem to be one of only a handful of people on the planet who are aware that these are malevolent constructs intended to make our lives miserable. The full extent of this misery only becomes apparent when a business loses its internet connection. At a stroke we are blind, deaf and dumb, unable to talk to our clientele or suppliers and also unable to check flight times, cinema information or the quickest route between Auchtermuchty and Achnasheen. How did we manage in the “good old days”? To be honest I can’t remember and so will have to continue with my hate/hate relationship with Mr Microsoft.

Given that the rest of the world is coming to this beautiful country in increasing numbers due to the immediacy of the World Wide Web perhaps I am being slightly churlish – on the other hand I know that “they “ are out to get me!!!!