I am a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Sober, by the Grace of God, since July 24, 1984.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sunday Miscellanea

Yesterday I had time to really look at the drapes in my two upstairs bedrooms. I loved them at one time. I have even written about them. I loved the velvet drapes and the lace curtains. But I have grown tired of looking at them. They have grown tired of sitting on my window. They have come to look very tired. Even the rods looked tired of holding those heavy velvet drapes year after year. So yesterday I made the decision to do what I originally planned for this year. No BIG vacation, just lots of home improvements. I thought I was starting with my new floors, they are purchased and sitting downstairs, but I am waiting for my sponsee to have time to install them. (and she just called while I am writing this - she is in New Mexico and will be available the week of the 23rd - yahoo!) Instead first I will have my new beautiful linen drapes with voile sheers. The drapes are on back order, but I have the rods and sheers. I installed them in one bedroom - it looks so pretty. I *heart* Pottery Barn.

About yesterday's post. I actually attended a meeting yesterday morning that was all about how awful it is to do any step work, how mean sponsors are, how even though they don't want to, they are "sharing" because their sponsor told them to, etc. It was revolting. Sorry, but I just found it revolting. If that is all the gratitude you have for your sobriety, maybe you need to drink some more.

Update on my daughters:

The long lost daughter is found. It has been a major earthquake in my psyche. I am learning about my grandchildren, two of whom are addicts - imagine! We have been e-mailing back and forth, it is wonderful. She is intelligent and challenging. I am thrilled to be in contact with her, but there is a quality of questioning the things I hold dear, which I am not used to dealing with. It coincides with a weekend retreat focusing on Catholic Apologetics coming up this month. I may very well spend the two days retreating and learning more about my faith so that I can be articulate about it. It comes up more and more as I become more and more open about my faith, so I need to be ready to address the questions that will inevitably arise. I am fairly articulate about AA, but I need to learn more about other areas of my life. But I digress... my daughter - what a thrill it is to pick up the phone and call her. She calls me Mom. She ends each conversation by saying "love you." It is very nice. Very nice. Did I ever tell you all that her name is Mary? I named her Mary Catherine after a nun at the unwed mothers' home where I spent my pregnancy. Her adoptive parents kept the Mary, but changed the middle name.

My "trouble" daughter, who I love with all of my heart, is sober. She has a homegroup - on the other side of town where I got sober. She is attending meetings every day with a man who is sober 36 years and was my boyfriend for 10 years. She tells me about the people she sees who tell her to say hi to me. Because they have been around that long. Oh thank God! She refuses to count how many days or months because she has done this so many times. (She had over 2 years of clean and sober time at one time, and has had years of time off meth when she drank like an uncontrolled maniac - which on her is actually worse. It always cracked me up when people would say 'at least she isn't using drugs,' it indicated to me that they had never seen alcoholism up close and personal.) I hope that some day she will get some faith in the process and claim her time, but she is not there yet.

I have been very good about staying out of her business until yesterday. She is hanging out with a man from my home group. She spent the night with him on Friday night. On Saturday morning I ran into him at my meeting. He was freaked out about seeing me. It was really awkward. So he blustered about how he slept on the couch (WHATEVER!) and how he was taking M. to a meeting on Thursday where he thought she could find a sponsor.

And then he said "X" goes to that meeting. And I said "oh, F@*# no." She was my sponsor (16 years ago) She told me I MUST leave my husband because "there is a place for men like that, it is called the penitentiary." And then he moved into her house. And then she talked about the intimate details of my 4th step with him. And you know what? I don't care about that. BUT if you are suggesting that SHE would be a good sponsor for my daughter? Oh hell no. I don't care if I am supposed to stay out of her affairs, I am not going to let this one slide.

I talked to my daughter about this and she thanked me for caring enough to keep her away from people who are likely to hurt her. (to read more about this particularly painful episode in my life, read this post.)

And since no one is likely to read this far into a ridiculously long post... I just want to say that of all the things that this "stimulus" package has, the idea that electronic medical records will some day save the world is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard - and it has a lot of competition. But I have almost 2 decades of experience in this field, and I have a bachelor's degree in Health Information Management, I have the credential that says I am an expert in Health Information. I may have opportunities to stimulate my own economy if everyone starts scrambling to get their records electronicalized (yeah, I know it isn't a word). Just looking for the silver lining...

So it is Sunday morning. I slept until 9 o'clock - which is just crazy. It is now almost 40º outside and I am going for a run. Then I will come back home and have steak and eggs for breakfast. What a wonderful morning. The sun is shining and it is just great.

Here in the rural areas of southern Africa we don't have any medical records because there aren't hospitals, just clinics and most patients are illiterate and the homecarers don't have time to write up cases. You are blessed to have what you have.

Somebody should stop that sponsor because the odds are that she has done this kind of thing to many, many other sponsees. It is why we tell women to lay charges against rapists, to stop them from doing the same thing to other women again and again. You can't just walk away and forgive them, the damage continues as long as they can get away with it.