Gary Barlow Plans To “Stick this CBE up Rylans Arse”

Last night it emerged that Gary Barlow plans to insert his newly bestowed award into the fundament of X-Factor in-house Moron Rylan Clarke during Saturdays live show. “We’ll see what he thinks of that when it comes to entertainment.” continued the Manc lardbuket, “I’ve only got that crying scouser left in the competition; so I may as well have some fun.”
When asked to comment on these developments Tulisa mumbled some street slang about “haters”before heading off to the Ivy for afternoon tea. “If tastefully done I’m sure the voting public will be fully behind this.”Said fellow judge Louis Walsh “Though, God knows, I’ve been wrong before”.