Thursday, October 06, 2005

Bush's speech on Iraq

Pat: We're going to have some fun now."There's always a temptation in the middle of a long struggle to seek the quiet life, to escape the duties and problems of the world and to hope the enemy grows weary of fanaticism and tired of murder..."

Which is why I always head off to Crawford first time things start lookin' kinda spooky!"The militants believe that controlling one country will rally the Muslim masses, enabling them to overthrow all moderate governments in the region and establish an Islamic empire that spans from Spain to Indonesia"

Rally the Muslim masses? I thought they were on our side, right Bush? But we can't let Muslims be rallied and form the governments they want to. So now we must take up the cross and sword and secure the Holy Land for His Holiness the Bishop of Rome through Christ our Lord in this magnificent Crusade."Bush likened the ideology of Islamic militants to communism."

Yes, I can clearly see how hardline right-wing religious fanatics who want to overthrow their secular government and impose a religious dictatorship to appese God are exactly like hardline left-wing political partisans who want a secular, atheist government designed to adequately care for all citizens equally. What a cutting mind, Mr. President."Against such an enemy, there's only one effective response: We never back down, never give in and never accept anything less than complete victory."

Actually, Mr. President, such a response has never worked ever in history, as the Russians in Afghanistan and Chechnya, the British in Ireland, the British in Afghanistan, the Israelis in Palestine, the Kuomintang in China, Batista in Cuba, the French and Americans in Vietnam, and the Americans in the Phillipines will tell you, if they weren't all dead or evacuated because that strategy does not actually work against a popular insurgency."We are facing a radical ideology with immeasurable objectives toenslave whole nations and intimidate the world."

Strike "facing," and I agree."Bush said the terrorists are aided by corrupt charities that direct money to terrorist activities and nations, such as Syria and Iran, calling them "allies of convenience" that back terrorists."

Unlike our terrorist-funding allies in Saudi Arabia and our nuclear-secret-selling allies in Pakistan, of course."Countering claims that the U.S. military presence in Iraq is fueling radicalism, Bush noted that American troops were not there on Sept. 11, 2001. He said Russia did not support the military action in Iraq, yet a terrorist attack in Beslan, Russia, left more than 300 schoolchildren dead in 2004."

1. Sept. 11th was done by Wahhabi terrorists, not Iraqi seperatists. You might as well blame the Northern Irish for Sept. 11th.2. That would be Chechen seperatists, not Iraqi seperatists. You might as well blame the Contras.

Bin Laden, Bush said, grew up in luxury but now inspires poor Muslim radicals to go to their deaths in suicide bombings. Bin Laden, Bush said, "never offers to go along for the ride."

Bush, who grew up the son of the wealthy, connected George H.W. Bush, dodged the draft, and then sent 2000 lower-class American boys off to die, said this statement without a hint of irony. Also, just as a by-the-way, the average terrorist is actually middle class."The terrorists regard Iraq as the central front in the war against humanity. And we must recognize Iraq as the central front in our war on terror."

What terrorists? Dumbass, only 2-3% of the insurgency is foreign. The rest are Iraqis who don't appreciate foreign armies. I'm pretty certain that "Wanting the foreign invaders out of your country because they've killed thirty thousand innocent people" and "Wanting the death of humanity at large" are not quite the same thing."With every random bombing, and with every funeral of a child, it becomes more clear that the extremists are not patriots, or resistance fighters,"

Um, sir? I think that since only 8% of Iraqi civilian deaths have been caused by the insurgency, I think with every bombing and funeral, it becomes more clear that they *are* patriots and resistance fighters, as there's a 92% chance that it was done by either the US, the Iraqi army, or some street thug who can rape and kill with impunity because we still haven't managed to assemble a police force in almost three years.

Tim: Of course, this speech has, I'm certain, galvanized American support for the war. Seriously. You can nitpick all you want to, but the general message--we need to stay the course--is true as ever. And sometimes, you have to simplify things for the people to understand. And this nitpicking, gotcha-game you're playing is childish. That's all I have to say.