Television had a duty to over-hype the 2006 World Cup, but that doesn't mean the viewers should buy into all that cobblers.

This tournament was the most cynical I can remember. Compare it with the 1970 tournament in Mexico, when not one player was sent off, the trophy was won by the most enchanting side in living memory Pele's Brazil and England had a team for whom you felt nothing but pride.

This time around, there was no outstanding team, some of the biggest names, Wayne Rooney, Ronaldinho, Luis Figo, Ronaldo, Thierry Henry, Francesco Totti, didn't fire and goals were hardly plentiful. The referees, criticised as a reflex action by players who ought to look more closely at themselves, had a hopeless task, trying to stem the avalanche of cynical tactics.

The day of a referee operating in each half gets closer, with the game faster but also awash with sharp practice.

There was one consolation. The swollen egos and massive self-delusion of Team England took a deserved battering. Big names, big heads.

We await signs that an overdue bout of internal assessment has taken place under Steve McClaren, as he battles guilt by association. And Rooney's impression of Kevin the Teenager needs to be consigned to the waste bin for good, otherwise he won't attain what every top footballer needs relevance in key games.

In no particular order, here is my roll of honour and dishonour from the 2006 World Cup . . .

BEST PLAYER: Italy's supreme defender Fabio Cannavaro. Stayed on his feet, timed his tackles superbly, led like a true captain. For all his histrionic faults, Portugal's Cristiano Ronaldo showed bottle while pulling off some handsome tricks. And if England had possessed a holding midfield player of the quality of Italy's Gennaro Gattuso, then they might not have been so tactically inept.

BEST MATCH: Italy v Germany in the semi-final. Superbly refereed, pride and honour roared out from the players. It was astonishing that amid the frantic goalmouth action, the game was scoreless until the last two minutes of extra-time. Mexico v Argentina was another attacking extravaganza.

BEST GOAL: The build-up took 55 seconds, involving 24 passes. Esteban Cambiasso's goal for Argentina against Serbia and Montenegro emphasised why we should still bother with football. And Maxi Rodriguez's swivel and thump that won Argentina's match against Mexico was almost as sensational. WORST GAME: Any involving England.

B I G G E S T EMBARRASSMENT: Thierry Henry's diving that helped to turn vital games France's way. This is the player who fulminated against Barcelona's gamesmanship against Arsenal in the Champion's League final a few weeks earlier. An icon tarnished.

BIGGEST NUMBSKULL: Zinedine Zidane, for his thuggery in the the final. He couldn't even manage the Glasgow Kiss efficiently, having to settle for a nut on the chest. Given that he was also suspended earlier in the tournament, this makes Zidane the dirtiest player on view. A salutary corrective to the mass of adulatory bilge in the build-up to Sunday's final. How can he be voted as Player of the Tournament, with votes closing at halftime on Sunday night, before his moment of madness in extra-time?

BEST COACH: Guus Hiddink for his tactical use of substitutes that won the game against Japan and the inspiration that saw the Australians run themselves to a standstill against Brazil and Italy. And to think the Football Association didn't fancy him as Sven's successor.

HYPOCRITICAL, MOI? England, in the wake of Rooney's sending-off against Portugal, as they railed against Cristiano Ronaldo. A year earlier, in the Champions' League final, Jamie Carragher waved an imaginary card, attempting to get Milan's Alessandro Nesta sent off. John Terry feigned injury in the Portugal game, trying to avoid a booking and Joe Cole's diving against Portugal was laughable.

BIGGEST BLUBBER: Any of the lachrymose Italians after winning the thing on Sunday night, but there were so many cry-baby contenders. Penalty shoot-outs do that to a chap. But David Beckham's statement, falling before he was pushed, to resign the captaincy, was masterful. Just the right amount of biting the lip, hinting that he would soon be blubbing into Victoria's expensivelyacquired cleavage.

MOST OMINOUS QUOTE: A top agent, who works for several senior England players, said of Eriksson: "The general view among the players is that he was pretty hopeless and didn't have a clue out there". Now there's a surprise. Perhaps job opportunities will shrink for the Enigmatic One, now so many have seen through him.

CAPTAIN MAINWARING AWARD: Brian Barwick, who now supervises the shambles at the FA. His take on England's early departure? "At least Argentina and Brazil have left the country before us". Only because they didn't have as much baggage to organise, including those ridiculous WAGS.

THAT HURT, REF! Fifa's statistical anoraks report that no injury was reported by the medical staff in half the cases when a player needed treatment on the field. It's official, cheating is on the rise.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT: Brazil. Ronaldinho. Argentina's elimination because, overall, they played the purest football. That Aaron Lennon didn't oust Beckham. England don't qualify as a team in this category because no-one with any sense expected anything from them. There is less to them than meets the eye.

AND THE REAL WINNER IS: For the expected efficiency, the unexpected appeal of their team, a hugely impressive head coach and willingness to absorb all the cultures of the visiting fans, Germany. A mature, tolerant nation which doesn't deserve English references to a conflict that ended in 1945.

A few questions: 1) How will Zidane be penalised for his stupidity when he has played his last match? 2) If Rio Ferdinand revealed in his exclusive newspaper column that he was too embarrassed to go out, how come he was seen clubbing it a day or two later? 3) How has Fabien Barthez remained France's goalkeeper for so long? 4) Why do so many under-achievers in the Premiership become lions in the World Cup?

And now anyone for cricket? Can we please have our national game back before the snarling season returns next month?