Our minds aren’t perfect at remembering special details and specific facts – far from it. Our brains work selectively; they store and recall certain bits of information while forgetting others. For example, you might remember – for whatever reason – a phone number that has little or no importance to you, but forget the birthday of someone you really should buy a present for. On the most part, this selective/subjective memory trait creates no real problems in our day to day lives. We can look up a number if we forget it, or ask a friend of a friend for the day of the month on which someone’s birthday falls.

However, sometimes it can make things slightly trickier. One such time is when we want to know how to catch someone cheating on us. Imagine you walk into the room just as your partner is putting down the phone and they seem a little on edge or tense as they turn around and see you. Or you see them using a free chat site and they turn off their computer right away when you walk in. These incidentz may stick out in your mind for weeks, niggling at you, making you wonder: did it mean something, was it a sign? Fast forward to a different occasion, when your partner returns home from a business meeting or other engagement late and immediately jumps in the shower, even before properly saying ‘hi’ to you. You might rationalise their behaviour by thinking: “Well, they were probably tired or something. They surely just felt like refreshing themselves with a shower,” then forget all about it. You might be 100% right, but that’s not really the point. The strange phone incident and the unusual dash to the bathroom on returning home could both have happened because your partner is cheating on you, and conversely they both could be wholly innocent and not caused by infidelity. The point here is, remembering one incident over the other and thus giving it more weight or meaning than the other in your mind could potentially make it much more difficult to ascertain what is or isn’t going on – whether they’re trustworthy or not.

So, to combat the human tendency to selectively remember and therefore consider some incidents more than others, and therefore improve your chances of revealing the truth, you should keep an objective, non-selective record of everything that happens. Here’s how it works:

1. Use a journal or diary, not a digital method of recording events, changes in behaviour/habits/moods, etc. Noting things in your own handwriting allows each piece of information recorded to be absorbed more deeply and permanently by your mind than if you type them out quickly on a computer. Also, paper records (a diary, journal, etc.) are usually more portable than laptops, PC’s, etc., which could come in handy if/when you spot a potential sign of infidelity away from home.

2. Keep your journal as objective and neutral as humanly possible. Note the time something unusual, strange or suspicious occurs, if you’ve noticed it before, and what it consists of. For example, saying: “Today (insert date) they came home 2 hours later than usual from work, it’s happened once before and they offered no reason or explanation for their lateness” is much better and more useful in the long run than: “They came home late again! They had no reason to be late at all. It must mean something.” So, be specific, neutral, accurate and non-judgemental. A time will come when you’ll make a decision on whether or not you can trust them and it’ll be then when an emotional response will be completely warranted and understandable. Until then, record what happens like a robot – it’ll help unravel the mystery and reveal what the hell is or isn’t going on.

3. Finally, keep your journal/record hidden away somewhere where it won’t be stumbled upon by your partner. If they ARE cheating and find your diary, it could easily make them more secretive and more careful not to give out noticeable signs of their infidelity in the future – thus making your job of uncovering the truth more difficult. If they find it and are NOT cheating, they could feel insulted or hurt that you don’t fully trust them. That’s an issue that, if appropriate, can be brought up by you after you’ve completed your little ‘investigation’. For now, secretiveness is quite possibly one of your greatest allies to know how to catch someone cheating.

Do you have a feeling in your gut that’s something wrong in your relationship? That maybe, just maybe, your partner’s being unfaithful? Would you like to know how to catch someone cheating? If you do, then you have a decision to make and several options to choose from.

First, think about how sure you are of their infidelity. If you aren’t sure at all, then option 1 – confronting them right now, without wasting any time – is completely out of the question. Doing so could ruin the relationship because it’d highlight, rightly or wrongly, that you don’t trust your partner.

The second option: ignore your suspicions, assume they’re unfounded and that they always will be, that nothing’s going on, and continue as normal. This option’s one many people take, either to avoid being confronted with an ugly truth – that their lover’s doing some extra ‘loving’ behind their backs – or because they fear they’re being unfair to their partners by being suspicious of them and doubtful of their devotedness.

Third option: do something to help eradicate your suspicions – find out either way what’s going on, if your partner’s cheating on you or if they’re being faithful.

Okay, let’s assume option three is the one for you. You want to find out the truth and don’t want to simply ignore your gut instinct and continue on as normal. What methods of investigation, ways of discovering the facts, are there at your disposal?

1. The simplest way (often considered the first step), and something you might have already begun doing, is looking for obvious signs of potential betrayal. Your partner smells of a fragrance, perfume or after-shave you don’t recognize. They’ve been leaving the house for work half an hour earlier than they’ve ever done before, for no apparent reason. They don’t seem to enjoy sex with you as they used to, or choose to avoid it completely whenever they can. Keep an eye out for these surface signs of potential infidelity – in a way, looking for them and recording them in your mind or on paper can be considered harmless, it’s free information there to be noticed…if only you’ll look.

2. After the obvious potential signs of cheating dry up, or when you feel you’re at a dead end looking for and analyzing them, more forthright, headstrong action may be called for. Some people, at this point, reach straight for the Yellow Pages, thumbing right to the private investigator section. That’s one option, sure, but there are things you can do yourself before calling in a third party. First, you could try setting a trap. It may sound a little primeval, like catching a wild animal, but really it’s more like a test. These tests can take many forms. For example, arrange a “trip,” say you’re going away for a couple days to visit your folks, or friends, and use that time to keep track of some of the things your partner does. You don’t necessarily need to sit outside in the car with a pair of binoculars 24/7, just pay attention to key times when your partner would – if you were home – do certain things, like leave the house for work, come home, etc. You’d be surprised how many cheaters embrace these rare, private opportunities to further their affairs and indulge in some extra-marital ‘relations’.

There are also subtler ways of how to catch someone cheating. One of them’s called the ‘gossip’ test. It involves bringing up the topic of cheating using a fictional third party, such as one of your work colleagues or friends. Mention, without hinting at your suspicion of them in the slightest, that your friend (or whoever you’ve chosen to use for this test) confided in you that they’re cheating on their partner. Most people are, to some degree or another – even if it’s just to maintain conversation – interested in a little gossip, especially if it involves a subject as juicy as infidelity. But when cheaters hear the topic of cheating brought up, they tend to silently panic – a rush of nerves sweeps their consciousness. Have they been rumbled? Is this a test? Am I reacting like a non-cheater would to this kind of chat? Keep a close watch on how YOUR partner reacts…it could provide a telling insight into their current state of mind, how they feel about cheating, and whether or not – when you boil it right down – you can trust them to not cheat on you.

Worse comes to worse, you will have to be willing to walk away and start over. If you feel that you "don't know where to start" there are plenty of resources out there that give tips on how to get a girlfriend you will just have to determine which method suits your style. In anycase, rest assured, you won't be the first nor the last person who had to start all over again in finding a special someone. There have been others who have prevailed in those situations and the means to do it is shared freely most of the time. There are plenty of safe avenues where you can go out and meet someone new. The proper mindset is to meet the people in bunches - you can go out with friends to a party, you can meet people through online chat, there are multiple dating services to choose from (from straight to gay to lesbian dating services) - all this means that there are people who are looking for people who are looking and services that are offered to help you out. In other words, you should always remember "there are plenty of fish in the sea" as cliche as it may sound.

An unfaithful husband, cheating wife, any kind of disloyal partner, is an ugly prospect. And that feeling of being betrayed by someone we thought we could trust more than anyone else is one of the worst. People who discover their partners have been unfaithful to them go through a hurricane of different emotions – anger, sadness, shame, dejection, sometimes even relief. It’s a grieving process, not of a person that’s died, but of a relationship and level of trust that’s instantly disintegrated. In short, it sucks.

But before you can begin “grieve” that loss of trust, or simply throw caution to the wind and ditch your partner for good, you need to make absolutely sure your reaction will be 100% warranted. You need to know without doubt whether your lover has, in fact, double-crossed you by looking for, finding, and partaking in, an affair.

The only guaranteed way of knowing this, aside from finding damning physical evidence or seeing the affair with your own eyes (both pretty rare), is by hearing a confession straight from the horse’s mouth, by communicating your suspicions with your partner and listening to what they have to say – however heartbreaking or relieving their response might be. But before you take that big step, there are a few simpler and smaller steps you can take to make the whole process, the whole “investigation” and confrontation of your partner, easier and more factually accurate.

The first thing you should do is look for some of the most common signs/groups of signs people produce when they cheat. I’ve listed 3 of them below. Read over and think about each and carefully consider if they apply to you, your partner and your relationship.

1. Changes in sex drive and sexual behaviour.

Sex is almost always an integral part of a happy and healthy relationship between two people. So when one of the two, regardless of whether it’s the guy or the girl, begins to cheat, it doesn’t come as any surprise that changes in the way they feel about having sex with their partner can be brought about. There are two main ways these changes can manifest themselves. When the cheater initially begins their affair, they may – out of guilt and in an effort to avoid the newly formed affair being rumbled – actually increase the amount of attention they pay their real partners in bed. Conversely, and usually a little while after the affair has begun, the cheater may appear to have a loss of sex drive. They, for some reason, seem to not want to be intimate with you as much as they used to. Once again, this can be attributed to guilt, but more often it’s to do with a fear they’ll reveal their infidelity through they way they behave before, during and after having sex with you.

2. Peculiar changes in habits & schedule.

When people cheat, they invariably change their behaviour and/or habits in some way, small or large. The reason they cannot avoid these alterations is because, no matter how infrequently or secretly they see the person they’re having an affair with, they MUST – at some point or another – go out of their way to do so (and thereby break or change habits and behaviour). So, look for recent and pronounced modifications in the times they come home/leave the house (and whether the changed times ‘repeat’ weekly), increased usage of the phone or computer for no obvious/innocent reason, and other differences in the way your partner acts and behaves. You know your partner’s old habits and ways of living better than anyone, so draw from that knowledge to compare how they might have changed them and to decide if the changes are to be taken as possible indications of betrayal.

3. Miscellaneous indicators of infidelity.

Lastly, there’s the group of infidelity indicators that don’t fit in any other box or under any other title. They’re the things you notice, question and cannot innocently explain away. They’re the things you spot but almost choose to forget because you’re so unsure of what they may or may not mean and whether, ultimately, they are true signs that your partner is cheating on you with someone else. Here are just a couple of miscellaneous indications of infidelity:

A. Your partner no longer seems to get angry with you when in the past they always seemed to be picking a fight or getting worked up over any tiny issue. Cheaters often ‘let their partners off’ because they want as little confrontation (which could lead to a discovery on your part) as possible.

B. She or he frequently shifts the focus onto you. Cheaters often asks their partners more questions about how their day went, how they’re feeling, etc, again, to shift the attention away from them and their guilt.

Remember, when you suspect your partner may be cheating, always take the smaller steps – by looking for the kinds of subtle signs listed above – before taking the biggest step of all: confronting them. Doing so will give you the very best chance of a happy, or at least a more manageable, final outcome.

These days it’s easier than ever to communicate with people – we’ve got high-speed internet connections (wireless & otherwise), mobile phones, pagers, fax machines. We can talk at the touch of a button, across cities, countries, the entire world. Furthermore, communication through these digital protocols is almost instant, fairly cheap and – if you want it to be – completely private and hidden.

While advancements in digital communication are, on the whole, a great thing, they do have their down sides. One disadvantage is that cheating husbands, wives (or, for that matter, girlfriends or boyfriends) can communicate with their private lovers away from the prying eyes and ears of their trusting partners. It happens every day: thousands upon thousands of text messages are sent by disloyal men and women attempting to get a girlfriend and sleep with them behind their real partners’ backs.

Back in the day, the only way a guy or girl could arrange a clandestine meeting would be over a hard-line (either a house phone or a payphone). That meant the cheater would either have to make risky calls from the home of their unsuspecting spouses, or secretly take a trip to a local call box and do it from there. Both of these methods of communication could often be spotted by the betrayed party quite easily.

But that’s now a thing of the past. It’s now a cinch for a cheater to send messages to their secret lovers from work, a locked bathroom, even from under the bed covers while their current, faithful partner sleeps quietly and 100% unaware of what’s going on just 6 inches away from them.

It’s true; things are easier for cheaters these days…but not that easy. Just as all others kinds of cheats – be it a card shark, a conman or a computer hacker – leave signs of their dishonesty behind, so do disloyal partners. And looking for the right signs, in the right places, is the absolute best way of knowing for sure if you can trust your partner.

Okay, you know now how easy it is for cheaters to communicate with their secret partners using digital communication. But what are the signs, the indications, the clues of this kind of activity? Let’s take a look:

1. Computers offer cheaters a multitude of communication methods, including: email, instant messenger programs, chat rooms and forums. Although it can be difficult to tell what your partner’s doing online without actually looking over their shoulder (tricky!), there are indications you can look for more easily. One is an increased amount of time spent at the computer for no apparent reason, perhaps when you’re in bed or before you get up. Another is your partner quickly turning off the computer monitor or turning it away from you when you enter the room.

Also, try checking the internet browsing history of the computer your partner uses most often. Sometimes there are web pages, chat room locations or other signs that your partner has been taking part in internet infidelity to be found there. Other times, you’ll find that the browser history has been freshly deleted – this, as you can imagine, could be equally suspicious.

2. As mentioned earlier, mobile/cellular phones make quick and private communication easy. If you feel comfortable doing so, checking your partner’s phone’s call history, address book and text message archive can provide you with a wealth of telling information. Bear in mind, though, that cheating partner’s – in an effort to remain uncaught – often keep their phones on their person most of the time. If your partner used to leave their phone lying around, but now never seems to do so, you must ask yourself why.

3. Last but not least, don’t forget or ignore the “old” style methods of cheater communication. Many cheaters still use house phones to call their secret lovers. Check your itemized phone bill for calls to local numbers you don’t recognize and that aren’t in your phone book. Also, pay attention to how your partner reacts when you walk into the room when they’re on the phone. It’s difficult to mask panic and surprise when the partner you’re cheating on walks into the room while you’re chatting to your secret significant other. Quick hang-ups could be a sign your partner’s being disloyal over the phone and, perhaps, elsewhere.

By keeping your eyes peeled and ears open, you will know how to catch someone cheating by knowing the new methods of communication used by cheaters and, hopefully, discover what’s really going on.

So you want to know How To Catch Someone Cheating -- Like most people, I’m sure you hate being lied to. In short, other people’s lies make our lives more difficult to live.

The problem most people who think they’ve been lied to face, apart from finding out the truth, is confronting the person that’s been conning them. It’s a really tricky social situation – what if, by some chance, they weren’t lying? Or what if they were lying but won’t admit it and instead just choose to blindly deny being deceptive? Dozens of questions and uncertainties make tackling a liar and untangling theirs lies a difficult task for anyone to face. But there ARE things you can do to help you succeed. We’re going to look at just one technique of many that you can use to first discreetly acquire additional, hard proof of someone’s untruthfulness, and then use to confidently confront them – safe in the knowledge that they cannot possibly deny what they’ve done…your evidence is simply too strong and damning. It’s called…

FALSE FACT CONTRIBUTION

This discreet detection technique is a favourite of many skilled natural lie detectors, purely because of its high level of effectiveness and reliability. In involves the adding of a fictional fact of your own that relates to their suspected lie, expressed as the truth, to evoke a telling response from them that you can use as a measure of their reliability. Here’s an example. Your partner has supposedly been to the movies with a friend, but you have a sneaking suspicion that they may not be telling you the truth. When they return home you casually say hi in a non-threatening, relaxed way. Once you have eye contact with them, you mention hearing on the radio that there was a massive road traffic accident outside of the movie theatre and ask if it caused them any trouble when they had to leave. Now, if your partner IS lying, they are in a might tricky situation. Do they go along with what you’ve said, assuming it to be true, and say that they saw the accident scene and got out fine, or do they risk saying they saw nothing? The key to using the false fact contribution technique lies in making the fact you use something they cannot have possibly missed (if it were true). This means you’ll get a useable, telling response from them. Either they’ll make a reference to it and therefore expose their dishonesty. Or, having actually gone to the movies, they’ll say – truthfully – that they saw nothing. In this scenario, you quite casually brush the whole thing, and say you must have misheard the road name on the radio or something along those lines.

Remember, take note of how your partner – or whoever you’re using this technique on – reacts when you contribute the false fact. Watch for changes in their body language, a lessening of eye contact and any attempts they make to quickly change or ignore the subject you’ve raised. Looking for these signs, know how to catch someone cheating to give you the best chance of acquiring what you deserve: the truth.

Have you ever been having a conversation with someone, say, in the office, at home or out-and-about and doubted the truthfulness of something they’ve said? If you’re like most people, you no doubt have. It’s a frustrating position to be in. Even though you might suspect one or more of their statements to be false, you have no proof and can’t really risk accusing them for fear of being wrong, upsetting them and making a really bad impression. But what about if you aren’t with them face-to-face and talking on the phone instead or even listening to a message they’ve left you on your answering machine? Your job, of accurately judging whether or not what they’re saying is the truth or a lie is made even harder. You can’t look at their eyes, view their body language or use any other visual clue to help you decide on whether or not they’re trustworthy. So what CAN you do? Well, you can use natural lie detection techniques to get a good grasp on what they’re saying and, most importantly, whether it’s been made-up, twisted or is the entire truth. Let’s look at 4 ways in which people alter or change the way they speak or the words they use when they lie to you. Listen out for each one whenever you want to tell if someone is lying to you, either over the phone or face-to-face.

Sign #1: NEGATIVITY. Liars know that when they try to deceive someone they’re breaking an unspoken moral and social code – lying, to any normal, decent person – is plain wrong 99% of the time. Because what they’re saying is negative, they themselves feel a sense of negativity and cynicism, which leaks out in the words they choose to use. For example, a liar might say: ““I wasn’t there when the fire started,” instead of, “I was at home when the fire broke out.” Or “I never tell lies,” instead of, “I always tell the truth.”

Sign #2: SELF-REFERENCING. When trying to deceive others, people frequently want to psychologically distance themselves from the lie or lies they’re telling. They often do this by decreasing the amount of times they use self-referencing. For example, they might say: “That car was in the driveway. God knows how it could cause an accident at the same time.” An honest person is much more likely to not worry about referencing themselves in their statement, and might instead say: “My car was parked in my driveway. I don’t know how it could possibly have been on the road and caused an accident at the same time.”

Sign #3: VERBAL DISCLAIMERS. There’s a type of verbal deceit signal that many liars use that actually occurs before they tell you a lie, rather than during or after. They are called verbal disclaimers. They consist of sentences that precede a lie, which ‘prep’ the person who’s about to be deceived in an attempt to lessen the chance of them suspecting dishonesty or becoming suspicious of the liar’s claims. For example, saying things like: “I know you probably won’t believe this…” And “I can assure you…”

Sign #4: SPEECH SPEED. Because of the complicated mental task of constructing a lie and the equally tricky task of expressing it in words convincingly, liars often unknowingly slow down their speech speed to help their brains cope. As well as slowing down the speed at which they talk to give themselves extra time to think up what they’re going to next, liars also do it because they know that speaking more slowly gives their statements more weight. It also allows the person or people listening to take in everything the liar’s saying, which decreases the chances of them asking further questions, thereby lessening the chance of the liar being caught out.

There you have it: 4 verbal signs on how to catch someone cheating or lying to you. The great thing about knowing these 4 signs, and the dozens of other signs and pieces of info we haven’t covered here, is that 99.999% of people HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THEM and cannot therefore try to avoid exhibiting them to keep up their con.

If you want to learn how to catch someone cheating, it's important for you to detect if he or she is lying. It’s a fact: other people’s lies make our lives more difficult. They distort and twist the truth, con us into believing things never happened, or took place when they shouldn’t have. There are literally thousands and thousands of ways people’s untruths and falsehoods taint and make living our daily lives more of an effort than it really should be.

So what can we do about it?

How can we put a stop to lies the second we hear them and reveal the real truth, the actual facts, the exact situation?

The answer is natural lie detection – techniques, strategies and knowledge that give a person the rare and invaluable ability to separate the real from the fake and always know what to believe and what to question.

So, what does it consist of? Well, natural lie detection uses no machines, test papers, no video or audio recordings. It is, as the name suggests, a science based on human perception and skill.

It has 3 main components. They are the interpretation and analysis of: body language, psychology, and verbal communication. By having a deep and expert knowledge of all three, you can become capable of spotting 99 out of 100 lies, whether they’re spoken over the phone, in person or even over the internet or via text message. Although learning these special techniques isn’t difficult when you have the time and proper reading material, it does require more space to explain than this short article allows. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t go over one way many liars give themselves away. This collection of principles falls under the body language category of natural lie detection and focuses solely on how a dishonest person uses, or avoids using, their hands when they’re being deceitful. There are 3 main hand-related signals of deceptiveness.

Signal #1: HAND GESTURE FREQUENCY. People use their hands to visually illustrate and emphasise their statements – it’s a way of painting an abstract picture in the air to better help the person or people they’re talking to understand the concepts being covered. When someone lies, however, their mind works differently to how it normally operates. Their thought process is dominated by the act of being dishonest convincingly and they therefore tend to change how they use their hands. The first change you should look for is in how often they gesticulate with their hands while talking. The majority of people, when they lie, lessen the amount of movements they make with their hands because they subconsciously want to restrict the volume of information being given to the person they’re lying to – out of fear of saying too much, either verbally or physically, and getting caught out or questioned. More proficient liars, or people who have rehearsed or planned a lie before telling it, actually tend to increase the frequency of their hand gestures. They’ll slice the air more with the blade of their hand or point their finger and clench their fists more frequently to illustrate and back-up what they’re saying. So, in short, look for a marked difference between the amount of hand gesticulations a person uses when in normal, day-to-day, obviously truthful conversation and when you suspect they may be lying to you or have a good reason to twist or otherwise alter the truth.

Signal #2: HAND-TO-FACE ACTIONS. The second signal you should look out for is an increase in the number of hand-to-face actions a person makes when you think they could be lying. The main reason they touch their faces more often when lying than when telling the truth is because of the internal social pressure they’re feeling, which leaks out in the form of hand-to-face actions. Look for moments when the person momentarily covers their mouth with their hand or fingers. This is a subconscious attempt to stifle themselves and physically block the lie from leaving their lips – they do this to futilely try to block their falsehood from reaching you and thereby decrease the chance of getting caught and lessen their feeling of guilt. However, many people are on some level aware of how mouth covers may be interpreted (as a sign that they’re lying) so instead try to camouflage the action by instead lightly touching their nose (which indirectly covers their mouth with their hand). Another reason many liars touch their noses is because of the increased blood-flow that occurs in its deep tissues, which creates an almost imperceptible tingle that, although not consciously felt and reacted to, causes the liar to unwittingly touch their nose for a moment. So, always keep an eye out for increased hand-to-face actions, especially those that cover a person’s mouth in some way or another.

Signal #3: THE HAND SHRUG. When people don’t know the answer to something or want to convey the messages: “I’m not sure,” or “I don’t care,” they often lift and quickly drop their shoulders in a shrugging motion. A variation of shoulder shrugging is the hand shrug: a quick lifting and dropping of one or both upturned hands. Like shrugging with the shoulders, it’s a way of expressing a type of diminished responsibility in regards to an issue or topic – and that’s why liars tend to overuse the hand shrug while being dishonest. Instead of using it only to accompany words that express a feeling of uncertainty or ambivalence – the way people do when being honest – liars use the hand shrug alongside verbal statements that don’t relate to “not knowing” or “not caring.” They do this subconsciously to distance themselves from the lie they’re telling.

Look for these 3 signs of potential dishonesty whenever you suspect someone might be lying and you’ll be a step closer to be able to know easily how to catch someone cheating.