The Greatest One-liners For Better Child Behavior

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Every single parent on the planet wants their kids to be kind, respectful and co-operative.

But let’s face it: kids are humans and they haven’t lived long enough yet to always recognize what’s appropriate and what’s not. On top of that, they do have their own agenda and personality, so try as we may, it’s impossible to fully control child behavior.

For parents, the biggest challenge in parenting is how to improve child behavior.How to actually get your kids to listen without nagging and yelling? How to give them the freedom to express who they are but at the same time live within healthy boundaries?

What if I told you, improving child behavior is totally possible with the right tools in your parenting toolkit?

In this article, I will give you a quick and easy way to encourage better child behavior.

Why Is There Such An Emphasis On The Parent-Child Relationship?

It’s because the only control (I prefer the word influence) you will ever have on your child’s behavior grows within a strong and mutual relationship. Without the constant strengthening of the relationship, there are no grounds for respect, trust and love.

Of course, that’s true for a marriage relationship too, which is why I even wrote an ebook on how to keep the spark alive with 55 Fun Date Ideas.

Relationships are THAT important. They can make or break your parenting journey.

Why Would A Child Want To Behave Well?

Based upon what I advocate on this blog, good child behavior stems from mutual respect and unconditional love. A child who is happy, secured and loved wants to behave well for his parents.

Notice, I am not saying they will always display good child behavior. What I am saying is when you’re on good terms and feel connected, there’s good reason to believe that the intention of a child is to behave well.

That is why it’s super important to restore the relationships first and foremost before we do anything else in the event of misbehavior.

Children in the state of defiance and opposition will not and can not heed what their parents tell them and behave well.

What Counts As Good Child Behavior?

Being a good parent and knowing your children come with the understanding that kids will never be perfect. They may behave as perfect angels a handful of times, but overall, they will struggle, fall and stand up again. And that’s where the point lies: trying to get it right and admitting the shortcomings.

When you are able to have your child understand what the problem was, what they did wrong, and have them care about it, you scored hugely.

Good child behavior is not the absence of any mistakes or wrong-doings. It is the presence of a repentant heart and a willingness to make it right.

In our house, when my kids misbehave, I do get aggravated sometimes more than other times. It’s especially annoying to me when a child pushes my buttons or their siblings’ completely on purpose. Another child behavior that gets under my skin is talking disrespectfully with me.

When these happen, I am usually pretty close to losing my bananas. The most important step here is to calm myself down enough to be able to deal with the irritating child behavior.

Nothing will make any difference if you try to discipline your child while still worked-up. When that secure connection between the two of you is broken, your level of influence has shrunk to the size of a microscopic organism. If you have an even-keeled, compliant child (lucky you!) they may still listen but forget the strong-willed ones. They are far too stubborn and determined to win.

You may understand and agree with this in theory. But what if you crossed the line and yelled, shamed or hit your kid in the heat of a situation and now you are left frustrated with a misbehaving little monster?

How To Restore The Parent-Child Relationship?

There are several ways you can go about mending fences.

Acknowledge If It Was Your Fault

Sometimes we miss the mark and really mess up the situation by judging unfairly or setting unrealistic expectations. Other times we flip out because we had a bad day or overreact out of fear. Either way, we are responsible for putting a dent into the parent-child relationship.

It happens. Not to you of course, but to other parents.

Best thing to do is: listen to the hurt and apologize sincerely.

Acknowledge If It Was Not Your Fault

Don’t blame yourself for the unfortunate decisions your kid makes. It is not the extension of your parenting or lack thereof. Kids make decisions on their own, starting at birth. (Right?) Rest in the assurance that you try your best, but there are times when you kid will do damage to the relationship.

Best thing to do is: forgive and talk it out.

Give It Time

There’s nothing as magical as a little time and space in the middle of a heated discussion. Take a step back, breathe and give your child and yourself some time. It may be a few minutes to a few hours.

Best thing to do is: take time to calm down but don’t let the problem fester.

Make Physical Contact

I don’t care how old your kid may be, positive physical contact is essential to let your child know you love them and care. If you don’t want to hug, do a fist bump, a foot massage or a short pat on the shoulder. Either way, entering your child’s physical space, getting in their face so to say, let’s them know you are there for them, no matter what.

Best thing to do is: making contact in a way that’s natural and comfortable for the both of you.

Why Use One-Liners To Improve Child Behavior?

Ever felt like white noise to your kids?

Yeah, me too. It’s not fun.

Have you ever wondered why they ignore us so often? There are many reasons why kids ignore their parents, but here I only want to mention one.

They ignore us because we talk too much.

Ouch.

Kids are naturally impatient and their brain is biologically wired to only be able to pay attention for a short period of time. Thankfully, their attention span expands as they mature, but when you are first dealing with child behavior problems, your child is likely young.

While longer discussions and lectures may be appropriate in certain situations, generally speaking, kids need us to be short and to the point. They don’t care about how this behavior will affect their college years and their first job.

When you finally get eye contact and listening ears, you’d better use it as effectively as you can.

Enter one-liners.

The two main purposes of one-liners are to communicate clearly without damaging the parent-child relationship and to give responsibility to the child to figure out the solution.

How To Use One-Liners Effectively For Better Child Behavior?

When you use these one-liners, you want to use them as effectively as possible.

Say Them Only When You Are Close Or/And Have Eye Contact

If your child is far away from you and you try shouting one-liners at them, it will likely fall on deaf ears. Or if your little one is totally immersed in playing, you’ll need to get them to look at you first. If you are dealing with a tantrum, you may need to talk really loud and hold them really close.

Say Them Once, Then Pause

This will let your child know that you mean business and that you are in control. You essentially give them the choice to listen or not. It’s not very complicated.

Say Them With Kindness

Sarcasm and anger seeping from your tone will never achieve the desired result with one-liners. Only if you can say it calmly and kindly will they be an effective tool to encourage good child behavior.

Say Them And Stick To Them

Remember the short attention span? Well, on the flip side, kids usually display supernatural endurance. They will wear you out, no question. Don’t give in, threaten or backpedal. Have a neutral (or kind) facial expression and stick to your guns..er, one-liners.

What Are The Greatest One-Liners To Encourage Better Child Behavior?

Finally, we have arrived at the part you have been waiting for: the one-liners. Get acquainted! You will be best friends.

You can have food as soon as you sit at the table.

Yes, when you cleaned up your room.

I’m sorry this makes you mad, nevertheless, {insert what is going to happen}.

I hear that you are upset, however, we will still {insert what is going to happen}.

You may feel disappointed/mad/sad, etc., but you may not hit/yell/talk back, etc.

You are welcome here as soon as you find a respectful way to talk.

That’s a bummer, how do you plan on fixing it?

That won’t work, but what would?

I don’t like that, please try again.

You forgot to {insert what happened}, I wonder what you’ll do about it?

We can go home now or in 10 minutes, you choose.

What is more important: the toy or your friend?

You can continue playing as long as you use kind words/stop hitting/etc.

Who makes the final decisions: you or me?

I appreciate your opinion, nevertheless, we are still {insert what is going to happen}.

You are allowed to {insert what}, as soon as you {insert what needs to happen}.

I wonder if you are strong enough/mature enough/big enough, etc. to do that.

I will always love you, regardless of how you act.

You don’t have to agree with somebody in order to treat them with respect.

You don’t have to like it, but you will still have to do it.

I know you don’t care, but I am doing this because I do.

You may have seen others do/say that, but in our family, the rule is {insert your rule}.

If you would like to complain, you have 5 minutes of my attention starting now.

We can either stay home and practice listening, or we can do what we planned, you choose.

You are allowed to cry as loud as you want, I am holding you safely in my arm.

I want to give you a hug before we go on.

Using these one-liners changed the way I communicate with my children: I am able to encourage better behavior without yelling, nagging or damaging our relationship. At least, for the most part. For the rest of the time, there’s forgiveness and trying again.