5/29/2008

When I am King: Social Disease

When I am King...

I was at a software development conference this week where they talked about programmers creating social experiences.

Let me say that again: "programmers creating social experiences"

Why do they think they're dealing with, cheerleaders? In my experience, programmers are the least social beings I know of, rating just shy of the mollusk and barely surpassing a pile of rocks. In fact, most of us got into this field because it seemed like a great way to avoid people. And they're looking to us to create the next great social revolution?

It's like asking bullies to run group therapy sessions, or drug lords to host kindergarten tea parties, or presidents to manage foreign policy. Who knows what could happen?

No wonder the web is full of sites like FaceBook - it's socializing for people that don't know how to actually talk to people.

When I am King, social networking sites will be created by people who, you know, like, know how to socialize. And programmers will go back into our offices, dimly lit by the comforting glow of our only friends, the pixels.

About Me

I'm a software geek, working at Google, making Android graphics and animation more excellent. In previous lives I've worked at Sun on the JDK, at Adobe on Flex, and various other places in Silicon Valley, always working on graphics software.

In my copious spare time, I write. I write humor on my blog Enough About You... along with my G+ stream at google.com/+ChetHaase and on Twitter via @chethaase. I also occasionally post technical articles on CodeDependent. I co-wrote the book Filthy Rich Clients with Romain Guy, wrote another programming book Flex 4 Fun about Flex graphics and animation, and wrote humor books Round and Holy, When I am King.... and the long-anticipated sequel, When I am King... II. Like women and childbirth, I eventually forget the pain of the process of writing a book, and will probably make the mistake of writing another one eventually. As soon as the scars from the last one heal.

I also have developed a strange and disturbing attraction to the microphone. Any microphone. You may find me giving a technical talk at a developer conference or user group, or doing some standup or improv in a comedy show. I've also been seen in videos ("You may know me from such hits as DevBytes..."), either work-related or posted on my comedy blog and YouTube channel.

None of what I write in my blogs, on Google+, or anywhere else has anything to do with my employer; they're just my thoughts, my jokes, my mistakes.