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Today I (Laurel) am delighted to introduce you to my dear friend (and neighbor), Jennifer. We gave birth to our sons just two weeks apart from each other and have spent a lot of time in the past two years sharing the joys, challenges, and victories that come from motherhood. I appreciate Jen’s intentionality with her son Isaac. She loves him well and pours everything into his rearing. Enjoy this post from her on the topic of screen-free parenting!

It had been a rough day at our house. We had a string of them, leaving me feeling like a failure and often yelling at my son. He was barely two and the defiance was out of control. Nothing worked, nothing. That day he was finally asleep, and I lay beside him, tears pooling in my eyes. “I am the adult here,” I thought to myself. “I am the one in charge of setting the tone of our relationship.” We struggled over everything – even controlled choices were a problem. What had changed? I thought back over our previous couple of weeks…the weather had turned, cold but not freezing however, chilly enough to make me want to stay inside. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks: screen time. As Isaac, my son, had gotten older, he showed greater interest in my iPad. I even bought some apps specifically for him and he played them – he played them a lot. Not only that, we had started watching a movie every morning instead of taking a walk, and it was truly a little kids movie, we watched “Despicable Me”. Then as the days inside got longer, we watched it more than once..twice…three times.

Let me explain: My husband and I are in this alone. Our families are spread out over several states and our parents are far away. I needed to get things done around the house, I needed to cook, and I needed some chill time. We have wonderful friends, yes, but they have lives too – with their children, jobs, and home. Enter the all powerful screen. Hello, babysitter.

Later that same evening, I was talking with my husband, who was also not enjoying the new struggle we had on our hands, and I gave him my theory. “It’s the screen time,” I said. “It needs to end.” He agreed. People, we went cold turkey. The next morning, Isaac asked for his movie. “Maybe later,” I responded brightly. “Let’s paint instead!” And that was the beginning. We painted, we played Play doh, we colored with markers, crayons, chalk. We built blocks, we built legos, we built a train track and ran the train. And every time he asked for the movie, I said “Maybe later!” and distracted him with the next activity. (He never thought to ask for the iPad, it was out of sight and therefore, out of mind.) We braved the cold and went on a nature walk.

My house was a wreck that day but it was worth it. However, since I wanted to have a cleaner, more tidy home AND cook fresh meals AND play with Isaac, I knew something would have to change. Thus began my search for quick, easy, mess free toddler activities.

After only two days of zero screen time we had a whole new child. Was he still defiant, yes, he’s two. But it was manageable. I was highly encouraged and I really believe my son was much happier. He still asked for his movie and I still said “Maybe later” and the iPad was still hidden and really, nothing suffered that terribly. I still cooked and tidied. Although, full disclaimer: I had declared that if anything was going get lost in the chaos it would be the “clean and tidy home” and my husband agreed fully. And, yes, some things get lost in the mix. I’m learning to be ok with that. More importantly, to me at least, was that I learned I didn’t need the screen to be a babysitter all the time and all the activities do not have to be high prep, messy fun. Here’s five low prep, mess free, toddler approved (and even older babies would enjoy some of these) activities that call for supplies you likely have on hand or are super cheap and easy to get.1. Coffee tree mug and craft rings. This looks so cool, it’s hard to believe it is so simple. Take the rings off and put them on. That’s it. Isaac got bored with using his hands so he showed me how he uses his TOES to do it.2. Thin spatula, muffin tin, and blocks. Dump out the blocks in a pile, set the muffin tin nearby and use the spatula (make sure it is thin enough to get under the blocks) to lift a block, carry it to the tin and put in one of the cup. Repeat. I thought this was so dumb, that Isaac would not be interested. I didn’t tell Isaac I was setting this one up, I just did it as he was playing with something else. He watched me and I could not believe how his eyes lit up with interest.3. Pipe cleaners and kitchen colander. Poke the pipe cleaners into the holes. Again, I figured he’d get bored. Nope.4. Drinking straw and craft puffs. Spread out some craft puffs (small to medium, so not for littles who still put everything in their mouths) and power the straw with your breath to move the puff. Feeling extra crafty? Make a very easy map or color wheel to have your toddler blow the puffs (put it on green! Now blue!).5. Dot stickers and construction (or any colored) paper. I keep this in my church bag. Get a couple packs of fun colored dot stickers, the kind you’d use for marking prices on garage sale items, and matching colors of paper. By matching, I mean color, not shade. Have your toddler sort stickers by putting the blue sticker on the blue paper, the yellow on the yellow and so forth. (Side note: I ran out of the dot kind, and evidently, so did the store. So, I got rectangles and I cut them to smaller sizes.)

And a bonus mess free activity? Get them outside. Take a walk and go at their pace. Little people are discovering the world and it’s a wonderful way to slow down and see the world from their perspective.

The reality is that we do not live in a screen free world. But if you choose to dramatically limit your children’s screen time, you are not alone. There’s quite a bit being written about the negative effects of screens on developing minds and very little about how good screen time is –including so called “educational apps”. However, there are still times when I don’t hesitate to hand over my iPad in the name of peace (long grocery store line, anyone?) however it’s a genuinely rare occasion these days. It’s been a wonderful change in our home. I highly encourage everyone to set their screens down and unplug for a bit. I very much doubt anyone would end up regretting time spent without a screen.

Going screen free in a screen heavy world can be daunting, but it’s like Robert Frost penned in his poem :
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

A daughter of the King, Jennifer Gonzales is a librarian turned stay at home mom. She spends her days playing with her young son, drinking chai, and trying complicated recipes from Pinterest. Occasionally, she writes blog posts for her family blog, Heart Prints. Psalm 113

In our last post, we gave a few suggestions for simplifying the Christmas season with young children in the house. Today, I want to follow that up with some ideas that are fun, simple, require very little expense or preparation, and build loads of fun traditions and memories.

1. Do some form of Advent with them. I realize this is the third time (at least!) I’ve mentioned Advent this season, but it is so essential for keeping the season in perspective. We’ve given several suggestions on our Advent post. Maybe you have young toddlers or even babies in your home. I recently heard a fantastic suggestion for Advent-ing even with them! Take a couple minutes each night and sing simple Christmas carols, such as Away in a Manger or Silent Night. This can slip right in to a bed-time routine, but keeps the Christmas Story in front of them.

2. Have a special baking day. If you have little ones that are old enough (personally, I feel like the 3 1/2-4 year old range really opens up options for activities together), set aside a day to tackle one or two special baking activities. If you need something similar, why not create little Christmas baskets for your neighbors with packets of hot cocoa, disposable hot drink cups, wrapped candy canes, etc.? — all things little hands can easily put in a basket.

3. Decorate a small tree with them — just for their room. There are some adorable little Christmas trees out there. My boys had SO much fun picking out a blue tinsel tree this year, choosing a few non-breakable ornaments, and decorating their tree. It’s a fun time to relax a little bit on your perfect Christmas tree decoration standards and just enjoy watching them go to town on their little tree.

4. Set aside an evening to look at Christmas lights. You can definitely go for a drive in nearby neighborhoods to look at lights, but I’d also suggest just strolling through your own neighborhood… This might be a great alternative for youngsters who don’t do well in the car or for those kiddos who are still rear-facing in their car seat.

6. Go caroling to your neighbors. We caroled with my in-laws last Christmas season… just a few neighbors on their street. It’s a fun evening and people really do appreciate you taking a moment to make them feel special.

7. Christmas PJs! One of our favorite little traditions is to choose new pajamas for our kids to give them on Christmas Eve. (You could give their PJs to them earlier in the season, too.) This doesn’t have to be overcomplicated or expensive…. This year our boys are getting matching pajama sets…. that I bought during a “buy one, get one” sale.

8. Collect a stash of Christmas books. We have a small stack of Christmas books that we have out only during December. Some families wrap their Christmas books, unwrapping one each day leading up to Christmas. I love that idea, but this year we’re choosing to keep our books available in a special “Christmas book basket” for simplicity. Again, this doesn’t have to be expensive! All except a couple of our books were purchased at Half Price Books. They have a special holidays shelf in the children’s section, which makes finding great Christmas books easy and inexpensive. Since we intentionally do an Advent program with our boys, most of our Christmas books are purely festive. Some of our favorites are Little Blue Truck’s Christmas, Bear Stays Up for Christmas, Fa La La, and the classic Caldecott medal-winning Polar Express.

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There’s something that’s been on my heart all year long: there is a time to say “yes” and a time to say “no” to everything. Early this year, God started drawing my attention to a level of over-commitment in my life that was creating an atmosphere of stress & busyness in my life that was unhealthy spiritually, mentally, emotionally, & physically. While some changes were immediate, others have taken the course of the year and others have started migrating from a “yes” to a “no”. Today I want to share my journey with you.

Saying “no” isn’t something new to me- I’ve always managed to be fairly straight-forward and bold in what I allow into my life. However, after ending the year last year in a state of exhaustion, it became apparent to me that while I had my hands to many good things, they weren’t all God things. What’s the difference?

A good thing is just that- it’s a good thing to do. You believe in it, and you think it’s a wonderful activity, but the grace isn’t there to do it. It isn’t what you were created specifically to do, at least for this season of your life, and it isn’t something you feel God has directed you to be a part of.

A God thing is something you’ve specifically seen God lead you into and not lead you out of. It’s something that goes towards your “why” in life, and for which you’ve been specifically anointed & set apart to be a part of in your life. This can include your vocation- not just “super-spiritual” activities.

I don’t know about you, but when I started looking at my life in that light this year, I could see where there was no grace, where there was abundant grace, and the places where God was beginning to lead me out of in my life.

I’m writing this today because I think there are a lot of us doing good things that cause us to neglect the God things. The God things are those things that make up your purpose, those things you should be doing in this season of life. The good things are those things that sound good, but that you know you’re only doing at this point because they are just good things to do. And there is a difference.

God things connect to your core while good things tire you on a deep inner level. This all has to do with grace. If you have three children, God has given you the grace to deal with them, and while it may be tiring, it’s purposeful. If you’ve decided to help your neighbor with her three kids and this isn’t something you’ve seen God lead you to do, you are going to be a different type of tired, because the grace isn’t there for doing it- it is literally just a “good thing” you are doing, not a God thing.

I challenge you today to consider the activities that make up your schedule. Walking away from good things can be difficult, especially when you feel as if you are leaving a hole behind for someone else to fill and when you really care about the way that good thing affects others. Yet, when you pray about it and have peace about leaving that activity behind, trust that God will fill that hole with the person to fill it for the new season. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been there, and He does it every time.

You finally have a free weekend. “Let’s do something fun!” you say, and everyone agrees. Then, the whole family stares at each other, wondering, “What are we going to do?” Caught in the moment, minds go blank. We have found ourselves in a similar predicament more than once, so we came up with a solution called the Family Fun Box.

Inside the Family Fun Box are slips of paper, each containing one suggestion for a fun activity or outing. They’re grouped into three categories: Free, Affordable, and Splurge. This way, we can either have a fun experience on the fly or plan for a bigger outing. This is also a great tool to have on hand during the summer when school is out.

To create your own Family Fun Box you’re going to need a box (or jar, basket, etc.), a stack of small pieces of paper, and a brainstorming session with your fam. Take time to think through the things you like to do together and write them down. Color code your slips of paper or mark them (with highlighters, colored tape, etc.) to indicate which category they fall into (again, the categories are Free, Affordable, and Splurge). You can keep it simple or get more creative with your box. When you’re done, put all of your ideas in the box and keep it nearby. When the time comes when you’re looking for a fun activity, pull out a slip to determine what kind of fun your family gets to have!

We’d like to give you a jumpstart in compiling your own Family Fun Box, so here is a list of some activities for you to draw inspiration from:

FREE
Have a picnic
Camp in the backyard
Take a trip to the pet store
Pick a movie from the library and have a movie night
Make cookies
Visit a splash pad
Perform random acts of kindness as a family
Sip Coke floats
Do a puzzle
Make homemade pizza with all the toppings
Go to a botanical garden and look for butterflies
Volunteer at a food bank, animal shelter, soup kitchen, etc. (especially if you have older children)
Build a blanket fort
Go on a hike
Declare a pajama day
Read aloud (board books if you have little ones, an enjoyable classic if you have older kids)
Go on a scavenger hunt
Breakfast in bed for the whole family (everyone gathers in Dad & Mom’s room)
Take a bike ride
Explore on a nature walk
Color (admit it – even adults love to color)
Decorate your sidewalks or patio with chalk
Visit a lake
Stargaze
Have a garage sale (and use the proceeds to finance a “Splurge” fun activity)
Blow and chase bubbles in the backyard
Play at the playground
Fly kites
Visit residents at a retirement home
Work puzzles
Start a family change jar (to finance fun outings)
Visit a local farm
Have a video game tournament
Tour a nearby factory or production facility
Hunker down for a movie marathon
Make a family bucket list or plan your dream family vacation (dreaming about it is half the fun!)
Start a dance party in the living room
Dress like superheroes (use items from around the house to make costumes)
Swim at the pool
Watch the clouds roll by and look for shapes
Set up a makeshift photo booth
Give each other manicures (for the girls in the family)
Visit a historic downtown near you
Make s’mores
Go fishing
Assemble a time capsule
Deliver cookies to the first responders at a fire station

AFFORDABLE
Go bowling
Take in a movie at a dollar theater
Plant flowers
Visit an orchard or a berry patch and pick your own bounty
Explore special food trucks
Buy a new board game or puzzle
Visit a new restaurant
Send letters to grandparents, missionaries, or the troops
Go on a hayride
Make ice cream sundaes (everyone gets to pick their favorite topping)
Play paintball
Invite friends over for a cookout
Rent a movie and let everyone pick out their favorite theater candy
Learn together at a self-defense class
Build a birdhouse
Skate at an ice rink
Learn a new skill (or make a special project) at a local hardware store (many offer fun projects for children on the weekends)
Make a fruit bouquet
Practice at a batting cage
Watch an air show
Buy a new movie and bring in pizza
Get snow cones
Go to an old fashioned soda fountain
Plan and prepare a special meal (from appetizer to dessert)
Make a family quilt
Paint a wall in your house with chalkboard paint
Have a fast food and froyo outing
Visit a pumpkin patch
Learn at a history museum
Get a treat at a cupcake or chocolate shop
Go to a petting zoo
Take a train ride
Refinish or repurpose a piece of furniture together
Get a goldfish or hamster (of course, make sure you’re prepared to care for the little guy)
Take the teenagers to a shooting range
Visit a farmer’s market
Go to a skate park
Run a 5K (or a family fun run, if you have younger children)
Play putt-putt
Make a seasonal decor project for your home

SPLURGE
Take a trip to the zoo as a family (or get season passes to inaugurate many fun zoo outings)
Go to a waterpark
Take in a play, opera, or symphony (many places offer programs geared for younger children, too)
Go on a shopping spree (everyone gets to pick out something special – be sure to set your budget before you go)
Take a helicopter ride (perhaps a tour of your city)
Enjoy dinner at a waterfront restaurant (or a dinner cruise)
Take an art, cooking or some other special interest class as a family
Go to the big game (football, baseball, basketball, etc.)
Have a staycation day (sleep in, eat out, and choose a touristy thing or two to enjoy in your area)
Hire a photographer to take updated family pictures
See a movie at a dinner theater
Go to an aquarium
View a special IMAX movie
Visit a planetarium
Spend the day at an amusement park
Have fun at an entertainment center (such as Main Event) for laser tag, bowling, arcade games, etc.
Go on a weekend getaway (or a least a special over-nighter)

Which of these is one you could easily do in the next week?

~GIVEAWAY RESULTS: We are pleased to announce the winner of our Essential Oils Pouch giveaway! June L. will be receiving a wonderful EO bag, curtesy of Kiwi and Hope! Congratulations, June, and thank you all for your participation in our giveaway!~

My husband and I hadn’t been married for very long when I realized that having a date night plan would be a good way to keep things fun, interesting, and unique. I love spending time with my guy; however, we found that we were doing the same thing every week and there were many places we had not visited and many experiences we weren’t having because there was nothing pushing us to do anything different. So I started looking for outside-the-box date night ideas to mix in with our regular date nights and this was the result!

What’s the big idea? Simply make a date night theme centered around a letter of the alphabet. Take the letter “B”, for example. You could make food that starts with the letter B, recipes that start with the letter B, go to a restaurant that starts with the letter B, go see a movie that starts with the letter B, do an activity that starts with the letter B, and the list goes on.

This is a great date night theme idea with endless possibilities that can work for anyone. Whether you are husband and wife, daddy and daughter, sisters, or friends, alphabetical dates are super-fun, super-personal, super-personalizable connecting times between you and whoever you are wanting to spend time with. They make wonderful memories, and some of my favorite date nights with my hubby have been alphabetical date nights.

We’ve created a free Alphabetical Date Nights Printable for your use in planning your dates! Print it off and get busy thinking of fun and unique ideas for you and your special someone to do together. Remember that these evenings don’t have to be expensive, and they can even be free things to do at home. You can be specific with the names of restaurants and movies (KD’s and the Karate Kid) or super creative (Applewood Bacon Sandwiches & Athletic Video Games). Here are a list of some ideas for every letter of the alphabet to get you started, ranging from activities to food…

One last quick tip- planning your date nights in advance will help get the most out of your time together. If you have a date every week, you will get through the alphabet twice in one year. However, you can always mix it up and do alphabetical date nights half the time, or even draw letters out of a jar to see what letter you are going to do that week. I plan our weekly date nights at the beginning of every month, and a typical month includes two “regular” dates and two alphabetical date nights. Have fun!