I have
uttered some phrases so many times on my radio show that they are often
the first expressions that come to mind. Not surprisingly, I occasionally
overuse them. It is also why I tend to buy the same brand of toothpaste
year after year. No, I do not know which brand nine-out-of-ten dentists
prefer. My brain just prefers not to have to think about toothpaste brands.

Do you
greet customers or clients exactly as you did four years ago? Do you respond
with almost the same words no matter what question your child asks? Do
you welcome friends with the tired cliché you’ve always used?
Do you view a sunrise with habitual jaded indifference? I began by asking
if you’ve fallen into any fixed habits, but I already knew the answer.
I don’t know exactly what they are, but I do know that you’ve
got them.

How
do I know? Well, because we all do it. Over the last decade much research
has been done on human habits. For instance, a Duke University study concluded
that habit rather than deliberation shapes over 40% of the decisions you
and I make every day. Both Columbia University and the University of Alberta
recently measured the vital role that habit plays in exercising. Massachusetts
Institute of Technology identified how our brains convert repeated behaviors
into habits thus preserving our real brain power for unpredictable circumstances.

While
converting frequent activities into automatic habits is quite natural,
that doesn’t mean that it is always desirable. We engage in many
regular activities that should certainly not be automated. Many of us
are blessed to be able to say “good morning” and “good
night” to our spouses every day. That should be personal, authentic
and heartfelt every single time. Neither do we want autopilot switched
on when we interact with children and friends. What about praying to God
each day? Want that to be meaningless rote? And if you do feel that merely
mouthing the words today just as you did yesterday is okay, would it be
equally acceptable if God began treating you the same way?

Allowing
our repeated prayers to become automatic routines is such a real danger
that God explicitly warns against it. Regular Thought Tool readers will
remember this rule of Ancient Jewish wisdom; any word repeated exactly
seven times in a passage is the crucial word in that section.

Leviticus
chapter 26 contains horrifying details of the consequences when God’s
covenant with Israel is shattered. The word repeated exactly seven times
is KERI. (Leviticus 26:21, 23, 24, 27, 28, 40, 41) It means casual, random
and mindless. These verses indicate that of all the damaging results of
relating to God with unthinking casualness, the worst is that He subsequently
relates to us in exactly the same way. Obviously God intends us to exert
effort to ensure that our relationship with Him remains forever fresh,
vital, and genuine.

In exactly
the same way, we should constantly struggle to relate authentically to
God’s other children be they family or friends, customers or clients.
It is fine to drive your regular commute on cruise control and it is fine
to pick your toothpaste out of habit but it is really not so wonderful
to relate to human beings in that way.

Instead,
try to delight the people with whom you interact regularly with a fresh
comment or a novel service. Look at the world around you with renewed
appreciation. While we’re at it, praying deliberately and thoughtfully
would also be an improvement.

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One
of my pleasures is helping everyone study the Bible with deeper understanding.
Many of us default to viewing God’s word as we did when we were
children. I am particularly excited about my audio CD, The Ten Commandments:
How Two Tablets Can Transform Your Life, on sale this week.

Its
shocking revelations will dramatically change how you relate both to God
and to those around you. This CD converts familiar text into a magnificent
manual for human connection. Don’t be surprised if the world responds
back in kind, treating you with renewed appreciation as well.

Rabbi Daniel Lapin, known world-wide
as America's Rabbi, is a noted rabbinic scholar, best-selling author and
host of the Rabbi Daniel Lapin Show on San Francisco’s KSFO. He
is one of America’s most eloquent speakers and his ability to extract
life principles from the Bible and transmit them in an entertaining manner
has brought countless numbers of Jews and Christians closer to their respective
faiths. In 2007 Newsweek magazine included him in its list of America’s
fifty most influential rabbis.