I don’t think anyone on planet earth would be shocked to learn that Lady GaGa does drugs. What else could explain the utter fuckery that comes from this woman at every turn? In fact, I’d be worried if she wasn’t doing drugs, because it would point to some serious mental illness and mean that she’d probably need to be institutionalized.

But while we may all wonder just what cocktail of Class A substances she’s partaking in, GaGa has insisted that her drug of choice is… weed. She claims MARIJUANA is behind her bullshit, and that she’s “addicted” to it (despite it not being an addictive substance, physiologically speaking) and has to have it because her career is filled with so much pressure and stress.

“I have been addicted to it and it’s ultimately related to anxiety coping and it’s a form of self-medication and I was smoking up to 15-20 marijuana cigarettes a day with no tobacco. I was living on a totally other psychedelic plane, numbing myself completely, and looking back I do see now that some of it had to do with my hip pain.

“I didn’t know where the pain was coming from so I was just in a lot of pain and very depressed all the time and not really sure why. I’ve been addicted to various things since I was young. Most heavily over the past seven years… But, the truth is that it is very hard to be famous.

“It’s wonderful to be famous because I have amazing fans. But it is very, very hard to go out into the world when you are not feeling happy and act like you are because I am a human being too and I break, and I think there is an assumption… that I cannot break because I am an alien woman and I am unstoppable.”

“I do put that pressure on myself; I have to be high to be creative. I need that, that’s an error in my life that happened for over 10 years. Can I be brilliant without it? I know that I can be and I have to be because I want to live, and I want my fans to want to live.”

Okay, I don’t even know what to say about this. You were so desperate – as you’ve admitted many times – to get famous that you clawed and fought for it many years, and now you’re complaining about how hard it is and blaming the fame you sought so desperately for your CHOICE to use drugs for self-medication? Go fuck yourself, lady. Also, “marijuana cigarettes”? I wasn’t aware it was 1962. Her pretentiousness is out of this world. Literally. Send her there and keep her.

Not as depressed as I am listening to that malarkey, but Lady GaGa is really having some feelings about ARTPOP’s completion (I totally typed “ARTPOO” at first and should’ve left it that way). I tried, I really did. That ‘Jewels & Drugs’ song is fucking hilarious. The rest of it is like the diary of an escaped mental patient expressed on a musical palette. It’s just insane. Maybe I just don’t “get” the idea of “reversed Warhol”.

Thank God.

In any case, now that all is said and done and the album is out there for human consumption, GaGa is feeling slightly emotional about it all and is a bit down in the dumps, as she told O2:

“I’m depressed after making this album. I feel empty and sad. I’m no longer the creator, I’m the performer.”

Um… okay? Yes, you are the performer of the music you created. That’s the whole concept of your career, girl. Are you just now realizing this?

My problem with GaGa now is that somewhere along the way, she started overthinking shit to the point where it now makes NO sense whatsoever. Everything doesn’t have to be avant garde. Everything doesn’t have to have some outlandish meaning assigned to it, and I find it hard to believe that she lives her “normal” life – if she still has one of those left – with her actual non-showbiz friends (again, if she has any left) in this bubble of “I’m gonna be as crazy as I can!!!” It’s just not sustainable… but maybe that’s why she does so many drugs.

Either way, I have disembarked from the Lady GaGa train and I’m done with this fuckery.

Some popstars have some AWFUL fanbases. At the top of that list is most certainly Lady GaGa, but in close contention are Justin Bieber‘s, One Direction‘s and Chris Brown‘s fans, for sure. You say one thing about them you don’t like and the next thing you know, they’re bombarding you with messages about how you should kill yourself. Lovely young people, you see.

Well, Taylor Swift is feeling a little smug about that – HER fans won’t wish an untimely death or an AIDS and cancer combo on you (I’ve seen a Little Monster say this!). They’re actually pretty chill people… though to be frank, I’m sure the rednecks among them would have a few things to say to black people and gays, but at least they keep it to themselves, for the most part?

Here’s that Taylor said about it backstage at the CMAs:

“For me when I think about them, and I think about my fans as a group. I think about the little things. I think about the letters that I get from classrooms, and the YouTube videos of some little girl opening up her Christmas present and it’s tickets to my show. And I think of young girls learning lessons on guitar.”

“Sometimes I’ll sit in a position where I can watch people leave the shows and I’ll look at the shirts that they made and the signs and some people will cover themselves in Christmas lights so I can see them from the stage. I know that’s creepy but I just like to watch.”

“I just feel so proud that my fans are always nice to other fans. They don’t say hateful things. They don’t say they’re going to set people on fire or anything. They’re not sending death threats to other people.”

Well, that’s nice, if not slightly obnoxious. To be honest, some stans take shit TOO FAR. So, someone doesn’t like the artist you stan for. And? How does that affect your life, especially considering you don’t know the artist and they CERTAINLY don’t know you (unless you’re lucky enough to have a restraining order taken out against you). It’s natural to get defensive over things we like, of course – I do it myself – but at the end of the day, I could give a shit whether Joe Blogs down the street likes the same thing. I’m just gonna keep blasting my iTunes and live my life. I mean, come on.

Lady Gaga has done it again! She’s come up with something truly out-of-this-world. Oh God, forgive the pun, I am so sorry. Sorry, everyone. Lady Gaga’s going to sing in space in some space music festival. We’re not kidding. Here are the details, from E Online:

The 27-year-old pop star will sing in outer space in early 2015, E! News confirms. Zero G Colony, a three-day hi-tech music festival, is set to take place at Spaceport America, New Mexico, and the climax of the even will feature the Mother Monster performing the first ever gig in outer space.

… On the third day of the event, Lady Gaga will take off from the Spaceport on board a Virgin Galactic SpaceShip Two spacecraft and, upon reaching space, the singer will become the first ever-recording artist to perform outside the atmosphere, in zero gravity.

Oh, yeah? Well what about THIS GUY???

Let’s hope it goes over better than the YouTube awards, because those were kind of a mess. Also it looks like she’ll beat Leo in the great celeb space race. Man, what a world we live in!

Katy Perry is beloved around the world, but Australia sees her as a biohazard. I love this story, it sounds so much worse than it is.

Basically, her CD comes with seeds to plant, and that’s not ecologically sound, or something. Here’s some details from Australia’s Tonedeaf:

The Department of Agriculture have raised the alarm over concerns with international copies of the record, with deluxe editions of Prism coming bundled with small packets of seeds that have been identified as a risk to the country by bio-security offices. …

“The Australian Government has a strong system in place to detect and respond to material of biosecurity concern. This includes the inspection of mail, cargo and baggage,” a department spokeswoman tells News Ltd, which includes the Perrry’s gesture to fans to plant seeds that come packaged with her new LP.

“Seeds or plant material of international origin may be a weed not present in Australia or the host of a plant pathogen of biosecurity concern,” adds the spokeswoman, with the country’s strict customs laws keeping a close watch on copies of the album being shipped in from overseas.

Lady GaGa‘s new album, ARTPOP, leaked online last week. I downloaded it because I’m a masochist, which is why I’m even writing up this story. The Lady herself did a sit-down interview with The Daily Mail in which she rambled on about the artistic significance of the record and started calling it the reverse of Andy Warhol and a bunch of other garbage.

Here, let’s let her speak for herself:

“Well I’d define it in lots of different ways. On the album I say, ‘We could belong together ARTPOP‘, so in the simplest way I would say the dream of these two things belonging, art and pop together but with art in the front.

“We sort of like to say if we can belong together you and I, or me and my fans – if we can belong together in this room and make love then maybe our dream of these two things – art and pop – belonging together, maybe that could come true.”

“So the intention of the album was to put art culture into pop music, a reverse of Warhol. Instead of putting pop onto the canvas, we wanted to put the art onto the soup can.”

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… What is she even talking about anymore? Seriously? Making love with her fans in a soup can? I just… no. Make it stop immediately.