Keeping It In Your Pants

Yes, a rude little title, isn’t it? I know it isn’t just me noticing these things but why do some folks make their horniness so obvious?

It makes me cringe – it really does. I can understand that spanking turns people on or that the female posterior excites them. I can even understand that being out in the scene is a thrill for people who have had thoughts for years without acting upon them. What bugs me (and I’m sure it does some of you) are the people who come across as totally focused on their pursuit of spanking and viewing asses to the seeming exclusion of any other thought or avenue of discussion. Every word out of their mouths another step on the road towards spanking or ass talk.

I see them on the message boards or in chat for the most part (my wife Sandy tells me she encounters them in IM or MySpace). For these folks, the world is filled with an endless supply of “lovely posteriors”, each and every one there to be described in excruciatingly disturbing detail. Every word they utter screams, “I Love Ass”, like it’s some kind of reveleation to people in a spanking group – as if they are trying to position themselves as the greatest of ass freaks.

Equally crazy is the person who turns everything said by bottoms into one more reason to threaten a spanking. It is the opposite of over-the-top bratting except with a twist. It’s over-the-top Topping with the added bonus of being tinged with a constant game of grabass. Maybe they see it as a game (like bratting) but there’s a time and place for everything – it should not seem as if the person is merely waiting for a lull in a discussion so he can say someone misspelled something or cursed or whatever and “needs to be dealt with”.

You know, some of this might be OK, but if the discussion is about The Holocaust, that’s probably a bad time to be over-the-top grabass guy.

14 Responses to “Keeping It In Your Pants”

I haven’t been in a conversation about the Holocaust and had it turned into grab-ass yet. Something to look forward too? I don’t think so. I know what you mean, however. There are people I have talked to where every word out of their mouth is an invitation or a sexual innuendo. It gets old real quick. Obviously we are all in this self exploration for some reason… but there is definitely a time and place for everything.

What you said, Rad. One of the reasons I enjoy reading your blog every day is because what your blog is not. It isn’t grabass. It isn’t like every spanking blog out there. There isn’t the ridiculous tribute to implements, celebrity booty and the songs of spanking.

Your blog is funny, smart and original. Definitely your voice. I really like that the most.

Laura (and everyone else): I think there’s a place for all sorts of blogs. The reason I don’t do celebrity stuff or things like that is because other people do it already. Also, I don’t have the time nor inclination to watch a hundred spanking videos and review them or to call up Sierra Salem and ask her what she’s up to – I just don’t. So I write off the top of my head and put down what I think on this blog. That’s pretty much it.

I read other blogs and like them because they reflect the personalities of the people writing them.

Spanking threats are great from someone you know and are comfortable with and in the right situation (provided you’re a bottom of course).

Spanking threats easily become awkward and creepy when it’s someone you don’t know bestowing them upon you. I think it’s worse in online encounters because that sense of decency sometimes seems removed and people say things that (I hope) they would NEVER even dream of saying in a face-to-face situation.

It’d be like me walking up to some complete stranger (a top) and calling him a butthead. (OK I wouldn’t walk up to a top I know and call him a butthead either, but you know what I mean). That behaviour would completely cross the line and I’m sure the top would probably be offended or think I was a complete weirdo-psycho-freak.

It seems like some people think that just because they are in a spanking chat room or forum or talking to another spanko that ALL talk has to be 100% spanking talk. Just because someone is into spanking doesn’t mean that they want to be constantly peppered with spanking talk, innuendo, etc.

Spankos live in the real world too and have many and varied interests. Many of the people are intelligent and thoughtful and you can have wonderful non-spanking related conversations with them! (shocking I know)

iggy: Well said. I think there are some people who get a bit carried away with themselves when in a spanking environment – kid-in-a-candystore and all that sort of thing. The creepier ones are harder to understand.

To me, bratting and spanking threats are kind of like guys bonding by talking about sports (or women & fashion, I guess– I wouldn’t know about that, not being a typical woman in this regard). It’s a good way to interact without feeling like you have to be clever or charming, as it’s pretty formulaic. And I suppose it keeps you away from politics and religion and other subjects that are dangerous among strangers. That’s fine– I can talk about sports, too. But I’d rather spend time with people who can converse intelligently on a broader range of topics and who are willing to give me greater insight into their personalities.

I agree with everything that’s been said. Now, Indy, I know you just want to talk about Farm Animal breeding habits and the pecking order of chickens. Hey.. those are intelligent discussions and have a place in society.

Have seen tops that try to turn everything in a reason to spank. Seems like a wide net approach, and it does get them what they want. If they took the time to actually, you know… TALK… they might find more enjoyable experiences. Spanking is a good time, but so much better when you take the time to get to know someone. That doesn’t happen when everything is turned into spanking banter.

I’ve known too many tops that use what A.S.S. described so well as the wide net approach. It annoys the hell out of me. Just because somebody likes to be spanked doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy having a non-scene related conversation, even at a spanking party. When I hear some top trying to seize upon any reason at all for punishing her, it’s just irritating.

If I was given a reasonable amount of money for every Top that’s come up to me with the remark “You are in big trouble, young lady!” when I’ve had little or no interaction with him before that, I’d hire a bodyguard. It IS a cheesy pick-up line. It’s like a guy coming up to me at a bar with “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

(maybe both types should just grab my a** and ask me if that seat’s taken?”

It helps me to make a very plain parallel to acceptable behaviour in a vanilla sex life and a spanking sex life. It’s helpful to acknowledge that what we do has a certain sexual edge (oh no! not that thread again!) and that it’s normal (but not obligatory) to get turned on at the thought of or the (imagined?) prospect of a spanking encounter. Just as, in the vanilla world, it’s normal (but not obligatory) to get turned on at the thought of or the (imagined?) prospect of a sexual encounter. One would hope that in the pursuit of a sexual encounter (at say, a bar) one would talk about things other that the hot horny f*cking they hope to do at some point. I also like to have a Top talk about things other than the a** slapping he’s hoping to give me at some point.

Alas, I have dealt with yucky horny one-track-mind men at both bars and at spanking parties. It’s not exclusively a spanking thing. I’m not sure about online, but in real life I’ve found the percentage to be about the same in both the bar and spanking populations.