5.16.2005

people magazine's 50 most generic people

1) for some reason, julia roberts is #1. i've been trying to figure out how this makes any sense in a year where the only thing that she's done is squeeze out a pup. here is the blurb from her picture:

Now that she has the babies, she has reached her peak of beauty," says Julia Roberts's friend and makeup artist Genevieve. "She is satisfied and content. All of that shows. It shows through the makeup, through the pictures. Being a mom has changed her whole life." And the 37-year-old actress has adopted a no-fuss approach to beauty. "She likes to dress like a normal housewife or mother," says Genevieve. "She doesn't care at all."

call me crazy, but this sounds a little screwy to me. but i guess it makes sense in that people magazine is so generic, that it would advocate something like a "kids complete your life" kinda stance that i think we all know is rooted in the "women should stay at home" stance. from what i can tell, her nose is still a little crooked, she's skinnier than ever, she hasn't had a good role since erin slutovich, and now that she's had a baby, i imagine her waddle-like-i-have-a-stick-up-my-butt walk is even more pronounced than it used to be. if anyone out there can enlighten me as to why people love julia roberts so much, please, enlighten me.

2) ann margaret is on the list as well. now don't get me wrong, ann margaret is as hot as 50 year olds come these days. however, again, it seems the whole reason why she is on there is because she's featured alongside...lindsey lohan. they're is an extremely unsuccessful to make a connection between the two

1960s film star Ann-Margret and 18-year-old ingénue Lindsay Lohan have often been compared. "Oh, yes. I see a lot of me in her," says Ann-Margret, 64. "It's a huge compliment," says Lohan, who maintains her porcelain complexion by staying out of the sun. As for being natural redheads, Lohan feels "it sets you apart. There's a certain fire with redheads." Agrees Ann-Margret: "We're very spunky."

where in the f does this analogy come from? did ann margaret start out as a wholesome teen actress and then transform herself into a jail-bait-publicity-whoring-booze-hound? of course, this is made all the more ironic in that lidnsey is sporting the blond look. as evidenced by julia roberts we should expect some level of generic-ness or pandering to masses in this list, but even this seems like a real stretch.

3) elizabeth smart is on the list. you remember her, the kid in utah who got kidnapped by crazy bible people for 9 months (just kidding, i think it was 40 weeks) and then got rescued when she finally decided to just up and leave. now on the one hand, she has turned out very pretty (i can't call her hot until she turns 18). but on the other hand, good lord, WTF? there was always something a little fishy about that whole story to me. i don't know if anyone remembers but i distincly remembering the photos of her and her family being reunited as being a little too nice, as if they were staged by a professional photographer. since then, she's gone on to play the harp at the pro-bowl in hawaii and no doubt, she's looking to somehow capitalize on her infamy. now i am not saying that the kidnapping was staged for the purposes of getting her name and face out in the public so that she could cash in on the fame later on in life...but i am kinda saying that. anyways, i think that if you look over the facts again, some things just don't seem to add up. she gets kidnapped and now she's suddenly in people magazine as a beautiful person. (warning: i stole this next joke from my good friends at KTCK 1310 in dallas, but it was too awful not to repeat). one of these days, the real story of what really happened with elizabeth smart is going to come out and stir up some real scandalous controversy. it's going to be a real news bomb. in fact, it's going to be...wait for it...wait for it...a smart bomb.

4) any most beautiful people list without brooke burke on it is a completely bogus list.

2 comments:

Anonymous
said...

The real story of Elizabeth Smart has been out. There's nothing fishy about it. And she was held for nine months and a week before she was rescued by the Sandy police. Her kidnapping was NOT staged. She is not cashing in on her kidnapping. She's just using her experience to campaign for tougher laws against child predators. She doesn't ask for the media attention, she just gets it. Her family reunion photos were a little too nice? How were they supposed to look? Should she have been crying and freaking out in them instead? And her picture in PEOPLE Magazine was two years after her return home so it was not "suddenly". And what things don't add up? The cops said she'd been kidnapped and held against her will and they found proof of that. Just because the public wasn't given every single detail doesn't mean there's a conspiracy. There's a gag order on the case and it's been there since early 2004.

She didn't reappear, she was found by police in Sandy, Utah. The photos weren't staged, but they were professional. They were taken by her uncle, Tom Smart who is a professional photographer for a Salt Lake newspaper.