The Complete humor man since 1982

Jul 10, 2004

All of us would have seen different people with different walking styles. Some trod slowly and a few others walk briskly and some infact run.Indeed we have come across different walks of life.
I first happened to see fashion tv when I was a kid. I watched the models walking all day long. Millions of questions erupted in my mind.

" Where do they come from?"
" Why are they walking all the time?"
" Where are they going?"

This ability to ask many questions landed me in trouble many a times. I used to imitate the models on T.V, by wearing similar clothes and walking around my house.My mother still believes that ,me walking around the house in adventurous clothes had something to do with my Dog's death.

During those days I used to accompany my dad for his early morning jogging.We used to get up as early as 5.30 am and slip into our respective tracksuits and Run in our locality. My dog Bubbly also accompanies us. As the energy levels are pretty much on the higher side for both me and my dad we would get tired in ten minutes time. So we used to take rest on a park bench. Bubbly always showered the bench where we sat. It was his way of showing his gratitude to the bench. We then drag our feet back home and this routine continued for a long time. I drifted away from the main theme again.

Talking about walking, I have seen different walking styles adopted by various great men who have graced this earth.There was this teacher by the name Daniel who taught me chemistry in my higher secondary. He had this unique ability of wearing his pants from his chest.He walked with such difficulty that most of the time he walked as if he had labour pain. Jokes apart he was a lovely faculty.

Then I have seen our ex-President of our country, S.D.Sharma. He mastered the duck walking method during his prime time. The secret behind his walk was that his thighs would not part when he walked. Such an amazing sight indeed. Infact Narasimha Rao soon started walking like him to keep up with the competition. Dunno how I'd be walking when I grow old.Infact when I become old and not when I grow old because I nevr grew past 165 cms.

Talking about 165 cms, I should ofcourse talk about my two heroes Jammy and Sachin.Jammy does his Blog do the talking and Sachin does it with his Bat. The former inspired me to start my own Blog and the latter still makes me to watch the stupid game when ever India plays. Jammy is the funniest blogger I have seen till date. I drifted away from the topic again.
Coming back to what I was about to say,It is indeed a Sight to watch Sachin walking upto the crease and taking guard. But he has some never ending problem with himself that he always keeps adjusting his GUARD.
Then there is this Ostrich walk. I have seen certain Babes who adopt this strategy to throw attitude in the Ogle-eyed society.When I see them walking, I am amazed at how they are able to keep their balance without tripping down.They walk like the falling tower of pisa ( I renamed it). When I entered college I was very much confused with all the different types of walking strategies adopted by differnt people. I wanted to patent a walking style for myself. I even named it the professional walking style.

Professional walking style method1) ladies and gentlemen should wear a trouser that has a couple of pockets.
2) Ten- One Rupee coins are equally distributed and shared between these two pockets.
3) Care should be taken that there are no loop-holes through which the coins find their way and reach mother earth.
4)The trouser should have belt-loops.
5) The person should insert his thumb on the belt loops
6) Practicing the professional walk takes high precision.
7) A flat ramp should be selected for the walking practice.
8) The future professional walker should cover a distance of Ten metres in four seconds.
9) But while he covers the distance, the coins should not jingle in his pocket.
10) The practise ceases when he/she/others cover the distance of ten metres in four seconds without any coin rattling sound.

I practised the professional walk for one whole day and mastered it.Soon I had the opportunity to demonstrate my professional walk. The walk was an instant hit. I had all the heads turned towards me when I walked professionally. I walked past the canteen,cafeteria,girls hostel,boys hostel and I had everyone looking at awe and amazement at my professional walk.

But I stopped performing my professional walk from the next day onwards. I accompanied my friend to the hospital the very next day after I performed the professional walk in college.She had viral fever. The doctor admired my professional walk for sometime.Then he prescribed her some tablets and just when we were about to leave his office, He called me closer to him and told in a concerned voice," Chriz! Do take a course of Pilex Tablets. It will relieve you from the pain".

Jul 9, 2004

I do not sleep for long hours. My mom says that i never used to sleep when i was a baby.But I have this habit of sleeping in places where no one will ever dream of sleeping. A few places where you can find me sleeping are listed below...

1) The loo.

Unless and until you peep through the key hole you cannot see me sleeping in the loo. Even I have not seen myself sleeping in the loo.

2) Class exams.

I had this great habit of snoring to Glory as soon as the question papers were distributed.

3) Church.

I am not alone in this case. I have more company for this one. No one can beat me and my dad in this anyways. We can sit and sleep in the church benches.

4) While riding the bike.

If only my bike had a mouth to cry... I have slept on three occassions while riding my bike.

5) while sleeping.

No one in this world has ever done this. But I recently acquired this skill of sleeping in my own sleep.

6)While eating.

I was not born with a silver spoon. But you can often see me sleeping with a spoon stuck out of my mouth

7) In the shower.

I even got drowned in my bathtub once. But for that dreadly dream that woke me up, I would not be typing this piece of crap now

8)Talking on the phone.

I paid a five digit phone bill because I slept on five different occassions when I made outgoing calls from my mobile. ( I salute the great souls who were listening to my snoring tunes for hours at a stretch.)

9) Dating

One among the many silly reasons that my ex-girlfriends listed down when they left me.

10)Blogging.

I am sleeping even now. Do you have any doubt? Then check this picture.

Jul 6, 2004

Rough Ladies, Gentlemen and Others,
Business demanded me to be out of station for one week and hence could not add any posts in my blog in the past few days. Well after a successful sales pitch am back again to my Cubicle.
Coming back to the title, this post is not about my nose pickings.Infact it is dedicated for the past one month of blogging.I have selected three of my favorite posts on popular demand ( This popular demand was put forward by me, myself, senior II, Mr.X). To be more precise, no one demanded anything sans me.