Losing a sale makes us feel bad, closing a sale gets us excited, approaching an unresponsive prospect makes us uncomfortable. But our daily sales interactions can seriously affect how we feel. It takes a conscious effort to address those feelings. Addressing our emotions about selling can be difficult, but taking sales personally can be overcome with five seconds of guts. The five seconds of guts is used to consciously focus on your personal feelings of self-worth and reaffirm that your role as a salesperson cannot influence your personal value.

During a training session, I was discussing the difference between personal identity and role performance with the group. I asked a question that is challenging to answer publicly, especially in a group of peers. The question was, “So we know that on a scale of 1 to 10 we should view ourselves as a 10, but how many people in this room can honestly say in their heart of hearts that they are confident they are a 10 no matter how they perform their job?”

Only one woman in the room, Carol, had the guts to raise her hand. I was a little skeptical, thinking that Carol was just providing the answer she thought I wanted to hear. It’s rare that I come across a salesperson that has such confidence without putting a conscious effort into maintaining identity value.

So I said, “Carol, I’m shocked. I’ll often have people say 8 or 9 but it’s very rare that someone confidently says they are a 10. Why are you a 10?”

All eyes went to Carol. One person actually said, “Yeah, how can you be a 10? You’re saying you have no room for improvement?”

Carol didn’t wilt for a second. Her explanation has become a common way I describe mustering the guts to maintain a strong personal identity regardless of role.

Carol said, “I used to compete in gymnastics through college. Many times the competitions got really intense and lots of gymnasts really beat themselves up if they performed poorly. I did as well up until high school when something occurred to me. Before I start my routine I am a 10. As I finish my routine, the judges detract points for the errors I make. But after getting my score, no matter how poor it is, I default back to a 10 for my next routine. I’ve defaulted to that system in my sales career. I’m always a 10. Prospects and clients can detract points from how I perform, but I start the day as a 10 and I will start tomorrow as a 10.”

That is the essence of a strong personal identity. Even when performance is poor, it doesn’t mean that you as a person should feel that reflects on you as a person. Every morning Carol took her five seconds to reaffirm that once again she had defaulted back to a 10.

It’s critical to have a strong personal self image because we will perform consistently to the manner we view ourselves. Tens expect to perform like a 10 and typically do. Those with a lower self-image will lower their personal expectations because they feel they are incapable of performing as a 10. If we confuse our role performances with our values as a human being, our self-image will go up and down with each performance. We constantly work to bring our performance into line with that self-image. Without a 10 rating for our self-image, our role performance will be limited.