I have a problem with my younger sister. For one thing, she seems to have a new issue every day, be it her friend, her home, her mental health, or her husband.

She shares everything with me down to the most intimate details. If I don’t stop everything and give her full attention at that time, then I am labeled as ‘uncaring’ and ‘lacking empathy.’ Now here comes the good part.

After sharing (and oversharing) for hours, if I give her my opinion or advice about the issue, she will say something like, ‘How I live my life is none of your business, and nobody asked for your opinion.’

Sometimes she will complain about her husband’s (shocking) ill behavior, but if I say anything negative, she will go on a tirade about how I never see his good points. I got sick of this cycle of listening to her tales of woe and trying to offer advice, only to be insulted rudely by her.

I told her if she did not like me commenting on her personal life, then maybe she should stop talking to me about it. Now she is acting like the injured party and telling me, ‘Oh, so that is how you want things to be between us.’

I am so confused. If I can identify her problem, I will hopefully find a way to deal with her.

Maybe the change just has to come from you, and you can’t expect it to come from your sister.

If you change and just comment here and there, but pay more attention to your own needs and well-being, your sister will most likely feel a change in you. She is used to you listening to her and being in the same way.

I do recognize it because I used to be a great listener to everybody, and caring for my own needs was hard sometimes in that past. That is something I have had to learn to know that my needs are just as important as others.

I was brought up with my female first cousin; we are the same age and more like brother and sister and very close.

Thirty years ago, her husband was having an affair, and I was egged on by my aunt to support her. Two months later, my cousin and her husband kissed and made up.

Ever since her husband was born a grudge against me and now not made to feel welcome in their home, although my cousin still cares about me, she’ll still place her husband’s feelings over mine.

After that, I made a pact with myself never again to become involved in other people`s domestic dramas, not even close family members and best friends.

These days if anyone wants to talk to me about a problem they have, I’ll listen, then tell them what I would do if in that situation and tell them up to you, good luck. I never give advice and I more or less just become a listening ear, especially now I`m older I have learned to override the urge to give younger people advice.

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