Slowing Down

May 17, 2013

So I’m the first one to know that I’m probably a little bit too into working. I love working and sometimes it can turn into an unhealthy situation. In theory, I think that I’d love to sit somewhere on a beach with (or even without) a book. In fact, I often daydream about that.

But in practice, I have hard time relaxing and I tend to get bored super fast. Even watching an episode of television without doing something else drives me insane.

Another component to the equation that I really do know, but tend to not acknowledge, is that I don’t like slowing down because then I may actually have time to deal with stuff. You know, dealing with friend issues, boy issues, personal issues.

As much as I’m a self-proclaimed workaholic, I’m even more self-proclaimed bottler. I don’t intentionally bottle things up, but I just prefer not to deal with things as they arise. Too sticky and I’d simply rather not. (This is absolutely terrible and causes way more issues in the long run, ugh. When will I learn?)

The other week, I definitely was forced to slow down. I had to really take a step back from just about everything. Something that normally wouldn’t have been a big deal put me over the edge and I just had to seriously pump the brakes. (Hence why I booked an impromptu trip back to Florida.)

The one thing that I didn’t want to happen ended up being exactly what I needed to happen. I needed to sort through the forty things that I had bottled up. And giving myself the space (quite literally) was an added bonus.

Dealing with what I needed to deal with was personal. I think that everyone sorts through their issues in different ways, but it’s most important to just remember to deal. Deal in your own way. Deal completely. And deal now before it grows even bigger.

This is more of a reminder to myself than anything else. I really do hate slowing down for the boredom reasons, but also fear the thought of having to work through whatever problems I’m having. But, at the end of the day, after I really process what’s happened, I end up in a much (much) better place.

Do you “bottle” emotions? How to do you slow down and deal with things?

11 Comments

I tend to bottle things up until they demand to be dealt with (this usually happens at the worst times like finals week). Though I always feel much better and more productive once I've dealt with the issues.

I do tend to bottle emotions, but I'm the type that has to try and settle everything as soon as possible. If it's a not so major issue that is only bothering me, I like to get it settled right away. But sometimes, there are those issues that are much bigger and just take time to work out. I'm very impatient, so I guess I let that get in the way when problems arise. I always find working out, shopping, and sitting outside by the pool as ways to just slow down and think about things.

This is the second post in a row of yours that I've just said "wow" because it's like you took the words right out of my mind. I have such a hard time "doing nothing" and think I find comfort in staying busy so I don't have a chance to address any hard issues in my life. I'm a sophomore in college and finals just ended, and I'm already trying to get as many hours in at work and schedule things for the summer so I won't have any unplanned downtime, but this morning I had to ask myself what was so bad about not having plans every once in a while… I really should enjoy it while I can!

I definitely have this problem. If I'm not doing something, I get extreme anxiety. And I'm not an emotional person. But when I was home last week for my cousin's wedding I was in, I broke down a few times. Not only was it an emotional weekend (happy!), but it was also 1 year since my Grandmother had passed away (sad…). And all I had been focused on the past few months was work. So finally when I was on vacation and had time to process everything, I broke down.

Now that I'm back to work, I can already feel myself going 6,000 miles a minute. But I do realize I need to stop, breath and deal with my emotions before they overwhelm me.

Carly, Thanks for being so open on this topic. I am truly the exact some way. I cannot just watch tv either I am always on my computer or on my phone I have to keep myself busy, I have been going going going. I also bottle things up so much that I normally blow up about something so small. Luckily it is summer and I had a couple weeks before I started my summer job. Hopefully I will feel refreshed, guess we will see!Thank you for sharing your feelings, it helped me a lot!I hope all is well!Bee YouBrooke

Carly, I love this post. Like you, I am an INTJ by nature. I had a very similar situation while taking 20 credits and holding 3 jobs. I was also confronted by something that brought me over the edge, and it's important to recognize how to slow down before it gets to that point. (But it's difficult!) When I need to slow down and experience life without constantly pushing myself, it's like a breath of fresh air!

Everyone is saying how they feel the exact same way about keeping busy, but I'm the exact opposite…I can't even imagine how people do that. I avoid DOING things, and I cannot move past a personal or social issue once it's completely resolved- or THAT will give me major anxiety. I pretty much avoid working at all costs and prefer to sit around and daydream about things. I spend a lot of time thinking about doing things and little time doing them.

For me, keeping busy is also an excuse to avoid dealing with other issues as well. That said, I recommend everyone try a few sessions with a professional counselor. I may be biased, since my graduate degree is in counseling, but it helps to have a neutral party to talk with and gain perspective.

"Deal in your own way. Deal completely. And deal now before it grows even bigger." Could not agree more. Sometime I think work and preoccupations are helpful for a little bit because they allow you time to think and proces before acting, without really forcing you to feel and grapple with it when you're not ready.