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Entry #1 – 18 Days and counting…

So, I’ve finally decided to do it! I’m getting a boob job! I have never been so full of different emotions at once. I booked my consultation and meet with Dr. Byrd to discuss breast enlargement in his Dallas office tomorrow! I went ahead and scheduled surgery too. I knew I wanted it before the summer, and to be honest – what was I waiting for? I figure, book it now, lock the date in and there’s no turning back.

So, 18 days and counting…

Let’s start from the beginning, when I was younger … I was an athlete, I played basketball, softball and volleyball. My breasts were the least of my worries, as long as they didn’t get in the way that was all I cared about. I can still remember the girls that used to complain all the time about their breasts being too big, or needing to wear two sports bras to keep them in place… I was definitely not one of them! But, I always told my mom – “someday I’m going to get boobs!” she would just laugh and tell me I was crazy! And ask me what in the world I was thinking. Now, she’s actually one of my biggest supporters in this whole process. She realizes I’m not doing this because I’m insecure, or want to impress people. I’m doing it because I want to, and it works out that this point in my life I am able to do this.

I’m about 5’8, 130 pounds, and have ALWAYS been an “A” cup. Okay, don’t tell anyone but, I can’t even fill out the “A” cup! Thank goodness for padded bras! I can fool each and every one of you! Like I said… I always knew I was going to get a boob job! I think I would have given anything to just have cleavage!! Now it’s really going to happen, and I can’t tell you all the emotions that have been going on! I’m so excited! I can’t wait to look in the mirror (without a bra on) and see a “figure”! I can wear low cut shirts and not have to “perk” up every 5 minutes! I can wear tee shirts, and have some shape! I can wear a swim suit and not have to make sure it’s got extra padding in it! WOW! This is going to be great!

Now I think the reality sets in. This is major surgery. This is a breathing tube, incisions, anesthesia, pain meds, needles, oh my! Yeah, you could say I’m scared. I think I’m more nervous because of all the unknowns. The only surgeries I’ve ever had are tonsillectomy and my wisdom teeth getting surgically removed. I really don’t remember much of either one – maybe this is a good thing? I think I’ve come up with a million and one questions for Dr. Byrd and the whole team… how bad is it going to hurt, will I feel the breathing tube, what are my do’s and don’ts, how will I feel afterwards, and most importantly, how will I look when it’s all said and done. I am definitely looking forward to tomorrow, and getting the questions answered. Maybe my nervousness will subside.

Entry #2 – My Consultation with Dr. Byrd

Well, I met with Dr. Byrd at his cosmetic surgery office in Dallas today… let me just start by saying WOW! He was so easy to talk to, and made me feel so comfortable. As I thought about the appointment, I figured it was no big deal and I wouldn’t get nervous. As I was pulling into the parking garage and getting onto the elevator I started to get anxious, nervous, and maybe even a little scared. I didn’t really know why, maybe because “this is really happening” set in. I was so glad I had all my forms filled out, pictures with me and questions typed out. It definitely paid off to be prepared, and not have to fumble through filling out forms, etc.

Let’s start from the beginning of my visit… the pictures. You guessed it – drop the robe, turn this way and that, shoulders back. All the while I’m thinking “I really have the smallest breasts ever! I can’t wait to have a chest, with cleavage!”

Then I was off to the exam room… Dr. Byrd and his nurse Lisa came in. We discussed size, options, incisions, silicone/saline, what I was looking for, etc. We went through all the pictures I printed (from the recommended website) discussing what I liked and disliked about each. It made me feel very comfortable, we were on the same page, and he knew exactly what I wanted and what I was looking for. Dr. Byrd then took measurements, and gave me an idea of what to expect post op. He was so patient, and informative. He answered each and every one of my questions, and not once did I feel rushed. Don’t get me wrong, at this point I was still nervous… am I asking the right questions? Am I asking enough? And of course still thinking… I have the smallest breasts ever! But he and Lisa made me feel right at home, putting all my worries at ease.

Well, we decided on about 400 cc silicone implant, with the incision under the breast. Yes, I’ve forgotten all the technical terms already! Dr. B even discussed how the implants they’re going to use will be narrower as to not protrude out under my arm. As we all know, we’d rather have them closer together than farther apart!! He also explained how he uses a local anesthetic in addition to the general, which I thought was amazing! He said it’s good in that you will wake up and not be in as much pain, but some women tend to forget their activities are still very limited. Don’t worry – I’m planning on eating up that couple days of bed rest! Pain or no pain, to be waited on hand and foot… you’ve got to love that every once in awhile, right?

Well, a few more days down, and 14 to go! Just think, this time in exactly 2 weeks, I will be in surgery! Wow!

I’m still extremely excited, and cannot wait! I keep having dreams about my soon-to-be breasts, the surgery, recovery, etc. But I guess I’m more anxious than scared now… I know that I’m in good hands.

Entry #3 – Just a Few Days to Go—Crazy Dreams

So, only a few more days left, and I finally did some pre-surgery shopping! I mostly bought tank tops (that I can step into instead of pulling over my head) and button up shirts. I didn’t get a whole lot because I think I’m more excited to shop after surgery when I’ll be able to try things on and see how they’ll really fit! I am so excited! I cannot believe this is really happening!

I guess I’m going into this thinking it’s no big deal, like I’m getting my wisdom teeth pulled again. I know it’s kind of a weird thing to think about, but I guess it’s easier for me to do this than really think about what I’m doing. Okay, so lets be honest… this whole “denial” approach is NOT working! I’m having crazy dreams, and I mean even crazier than the “pregnant” dreams I had about 5 years ago! I am so anxious… excited… terrified… sometimes just sitting there thinking about it I get ALL kinds of nervous! I get shaky, unable to focus, hot then cold. Wow! Who would have thought?! I don’t think I even realize all my emotions right now. I think more than anything I’m ready for this to be over and done. I don’t know what surgery day will hold (as far as my emotions)… I’m sure I’ll be a wreck, and that makes me nervous too! See, I’m a complete disaster! I’m all over the map!

Well, wish me luck! Let’s hope for sleep without crazy dreams! Oh – and I’ve been informed by Dr. B and his staff in Dallas that on breast enlargement day the nurses will give me something, if needed, to help calm me down! This is a big plus in my book!

Entry #4: Surgery!

Well, surgery is over… and as nervous and anxious as I was the day before, I went in to surgery calm and collected. Okay, maybe not collected but I really was calm, and ready for it all to be over with. My family was more nervous than I was. I walked into the hospital, checked in, waited for what seemed like an eternity, was called back to change out of my clothes into the beautiful hospital dressing (ha ha), then I went into pre-op. I had my blood pressure taken, sat behind a curtain and waited some more.

So, Dr.Byrd and his nurse Lisa came in to see me, to make sure I didn’t have any changes in size preference, look, etc. Then Dr. Byrd marked me up (he explained to show where the breast would fall naturally when I stand…you tend to lose that perspective when you’re laying down in surgery!) and I was ready to roll! The surgical nurse and the anesthesiologist came in and met with me as well, told me how everything was going to go, and that I would be just fine.

I was walked into the surgery room by my anesthesiologist who was just amazing. She talked me through everything she was doing, numbed my arm, then placed the IV, and to be honest with you, that’s all I remember. We were all having a conversation and laughing… and then… I was out. I didn’t feel a thing! I do know that Lisa sat right with me once we got into the OR. It was so nice to have someone there explaining everything that was going on which made the whole process less scary.

I vaguely remember waking up in recovery, and all I could think is “That’s it?” Then I kind of panicked, wanting to know where my family was. I don’t really remember much from the first two days except discomfort (not pain really – just an unusual feeling), alarm clocks, Vicodin, and lots of sleep. (I set the alarm clocks so I would take my Vicodin right on time).

I had planned on going home right after surgery. Dr. Byrd’s office staff told me it was my choice of whether to spend the night at their on-site recovery suite or go home. Once I came out of surgery, the whole idea of going home right away didn’t seem quite so appealing! My family and I were taken to a really nice room on the same floor as the surgical center which is in the same building as Dr. Byrd’s office. How convenient is that? It didn’t really matter to me how nice the room was though. I slept mostly! But it was a large room and my family spent most of the evening with me. Everyone else had pizza and kept me company….the few moments I was awake. I went home the next day but don’t really remember much of that either… again, lots of sleep and lots of medicine.

Entry #5: After Surgery – Recovery

It was difficult to sleep; I couldn’t even pick up a glass of water. I was just uncomfortable… thank goodness for pain medicine! I think the hardest part was waking up (either in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning) and trying to sit up. You can’t use your arms, you have no coordination, and you have huge mounds on what used to be your flat little chest! That pretty much sums it up!

Well, it’s been 4 days, and I’m going in to get sutures removed tomorrow. It’s my first day back at work and let’s just say I’m lucky to have even made it in! I’m groggy and pretty dysfunctional today. I’m still on pain medicine, and still very uncomfortable. Okay – so, if I take the Vicodin right on time, every time, I’m knocked out and therefore not in pain! How’s that? It was pretty nice the first few days, but now that I WANT to function… not so nice. I am a little better though, but still can’t open doors, reach out for anything, or sit up using my arm strength at all. And I’m TIRED! Not just tired, but really, really tired!

Entry #6: Suture Removal – 5 Days Post-op

So, off to see Nurse Lisa! Of course, I had a driver to the appointment, and really thought I’d be okay. I was forewarned to take a pain pill before I went – not that the removal of sutures would be painful, but I did just have surgery and it’s still very sensitive. So, I got to the office, into the exam room, changed into the paper “gown-top” and Lisa came in to examine me. Everything looks good, my left side is a little more swollen than my right – she told me Dr. Byrd had to do some extra “work” on that side. I really wasn’t worried about it, and hadn’t even noticed much difference; I had boobs, who cared?!? Yeah – I hadn’t talked about that much, have I? I guess the pain kind of distracted me from that.

Time for suture removal. Lisa was very gentle, and didn’t make me feel nervous or anxious one bit. But, let me put this in perspective for you; I’ve never in my life had stitches and we’re talking 12 stitches on each side! Yikes! Pain was very minimal, but I think I was more nervous (once again) than I’d owned up to. After the sutures are removed, I sit up and immediately Lisa asks if I’m okay –I got very hot, sweaty, light-headed, and almost passed out. Lisa was so sweet and patient with me, took a wet cold cloth to my forehead, fanned me off, laid me back in the chair, and told me just to relax. Wow! She was so incredible to even notice that I wasn’t feeling well. I soon settled down, and then everything was just fine. She said she would like me to come back and see Dr. Byrd in about a week, and keep the “suture site” taped until then.

Entry #7: Recovery – 11 Days Post-op

Well, it’s been about 11 days since surgery and I’m doing much better! I’m finally realizing how absolutely worth it this whole process has been! I have breasts! I have cleavage! I don’t even have to wear a bra! “They” are absolutely amazing! Don’t get me wrong, there’s still some discomfort, and as of the past couple days I am still absolutely exhausted! But, I am able to drive now; I’m not taking the Vicodin any more (unless it’s a half pill just to help me sleep through the night), I’m wearing normal clothes (I’ve been able to graduate out of button up shirts). When I visited with Lisa at the suture removal appointment, she advised me to try and wear the medical bra less than I was before – the first couple days I felt like my implants were going to come falling out my incision site! Just joking, but it was a pretty weird feeling. Now I’m to the point where I can wear the bra to work, and take it off as soon as I’m home and be all right. I’ve even gone an entire day without wearing it, and really haven’t been that uncomfortable. It’s amazing how much better I look in things! My tank tops I sleep in are even cute now! Ha!

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned, but the skin being pulled tight is the most uncomfortable thing right now. Not that it’s even that bad, but sometimes I feel like I almost can’t quite catch my breath. Weird feeling, but I know I’ll get over it, and this too shall pass. Right? I also can’t sleep on my side just yet – which, for me is almost devastating! But, I’m getting through that obstacle too. It’s just very uncomfortable to sleep on my side, makes my chest hurt, and sometimes my back as well.

Entry #8: Recovery – 13 Days Post-op

Well, 2 days later, and I feel amazingly better! I slept on my side last night… okay, not all night, but it’s not as uncomfortable at all. I’m still a little swollen on my left side, but nothing drastic. I did have a little “knot” show up yesterday afternoon. I got home from work, was undressing, and all of a sudden I started to feel uncomfortable. Then I noticed that there was a little knot on my left side. I called Lisa right away. They tell you to call if you notice anything unusual, if something doesn’t feel quite right. No matter what, if anything changes, feels hard, etc, call Lisa! It really put me at ease to hear her talk to Dr. Byrd and he assured me that it was the stitches on the inside. [I gave her a more thorough evaluation during a scheduled follow-up the next day, and the hardness Dianne experienced appears to be only temporary – Dr. Byrd]

I go into see Dr. B today just for another follow up, I’m excited! I finally feel (almost) back to normal. And, I have boobs! It’s amazing how good it makes you feel after all of the pain and fatigue is gone! I went out and bought a swimsuit last night! Oh my! It’s the FIRST summer in my entire life I’m actually looking forward to wearing a bikini! And… the first time I’ll ever have cleavage to show off! Yay! I can actually fill out clothes now! It’s GREAT! It gives you just a little boost of self confidence!

Entry #9: 20 Days Post-op

Well, we’re approaching the 3-week mark… and things are going great!! I feel like I have a lot more energy, am able to do more, last throughout the day, etc. However, today and yesterday were “setbacks” in my mind. I just felt a bit more tender, uncomfortable, itchy, and tight. It’s hard to explain, it’s uncomfortable to wear a bra these last couple days, and I feel a little more swollen.

The “knot” is still there. When I went to visit with Dr. Byrd this last time he checked it out and just let me know it was nothing to worry about. I’m still a little swollen with some bruising on my left side, and probably will be up to 6 weeks after surgery, according to Dr. Byrd. He said the difference in pain between the two sides relates to the fact that the pocket was extended a bit further laterally on one side to adjust for differences between the two breasts. This caused me to be a bit more tender, but it’s not a long-lasting problem. I really don’t even notice the swelling that much, as long as I have boobs I don’t think it matters much!

Dr. Byrd also showed me some “exercises” to do, where you simply press firmly on the breast at different angles after taking your bra off each day. Yes, it sounds like lots of fun, doesn’t it? The first couple times, it’s awkward and for me was a little painful, but after that it’s just fine.

I purchased my first real bra since surgery, immediately after my visit with Dr. Byrd! I was so excited! Wireless, of course…they suggested no underwire. I didn’t really have the best experience in getting fitted for a bra, so I don’t know that this is something to even share. I was a little disappointed when the saleswoman (looking barely 16) looks at me and says “You look like a 36A maybe a 36B.” Eh hem… excuse me? Okay, so I did have on a tank top with a cardigan over it… but a 36A?! I knew better than that! 375 cc’s don’t turn into thin air! Okay, so I’m a little bitter, yes… but I just wanted that FIRST experience to be a good one! It wasn’t. We’ll try again this weekend! I called Dr. Byrd’s office and Lisa has suggested a place to be fitted, now why didn’t I just ask her first?! Ugh! Chalk it up as a learning experience! They recommend going to a higher end department store like Nordstrom’s or Dillard’s where there’s usually someone trained in proper bra fitting. [You can also look for special bra fitting events which are a good opportunity to have a highly skilled bra fitter either size you immediately post-operatively or confirm the sizing you’ve gotten somewhere else. Dianne did the right thing by going for a second opinion. – Dr. Byrd]

Anyway, I had kind of an awkward day today. I’m still uncomfortable in this bra I purchased… and I started having doubts yesterday. “They are too small… I just knew it.” (Okay – I know, this sounds crazy… but I am being honest here). I felt like WHAT IF they really didn’t look big, what if they weren’t big enough, I should have gone bigger, etc. So, being the “open” person that I am, I called Dr. Byrd’s staff…and was re-assured that I look great, and to just relax and give myself some time to adjust to my new body! Like Dr. Byrd told me after surgery, any bigger would have rippled my skin, and probably caused stretch marks too! EWE! I didn’t want that. The staff also told me that I am so used to seeing my body one way (Barely fitting a FULLY padded 36A bra); it will take awhile to adjust to what I’m REALLY looking at. After asking a couple of my girlfriends at work and of course my boyfriend, I was re-assured that they were the perfect size! The funny thing is, I went home, changed into a tank top and sweats (no bra) and still had cleavage… now, that’s when I knew I was losing it that day! Time for sleep! Ha! So, I’m over the “too small” outlook, I don’t know if I was just having a bad day, wore the wrong shirt or what was going on. Just one of those days I guess. So, don’t be surprised when it happens to you!