Ah, the joys of a brand new year - followed by the same miserable old failure to can the chocs, bin the booze and go to the gym every day.

Many of us have broken our New Year's resolutions before the tinsel has been taken down, so why not resolve not to make any for 2011? Instead of setting unrealistic goals that are doomed before kick-off, here are simple ways we can all be nicer people...

STOP BREAKING PROMISES

First thing's first, resolutions are based on willpower - and willpower usually comes with a time limit.

Plus, they come at a time when we want to hibernate, so your determination will last days, not months. If you resolve to stop drinking or smoking and get fit you may as well just pour yourself a large one, light up and throw your trainers in the bin.

"Resolutions are synonymous with something you're NOT likely to do," says life coach Barbara Waxman.

MORE FUN, LESS STUFF

So, you got what you really, really wanted for Christmas. But has it made you happy? You might think a new handbag will make you feel complete, but studies show spending money on material things brings less pleasure than splurging out on things that will give you memories, such as holidays, family days out or concert tickets.

STOP LOOKING FOR MR OR MRS RIGHT

If you're single, then Christmas and new year can be fantastic fun. But once the hangover goes you realise you'd rather be in a cosy couple.

It's easy to become obsessed with meeting Mr or Mrs Right - and people can smell the desperation.

Instead, throw yourself into hobbies, work and friendships. When you're happy, you're more desirable.

MAKE ONE SMALL CHANGE

If you want to get fit, remember the saying: "It's a marathon, not a sprint." Starting with a five-mile run is not going to help your confidence - it will destroy it. Likewise, if your goal is to be as thin as Victoria Beckham, it's not going to happen overnight - or probably ever.

And if you start a crash diet, you'll just end up tucking into the chocolate. It's easier to start off with a short jog or a sensible eating plan because week-byweek improvements, even though they may be small, will give you a boost.

TURN OFF FACEBOOK

We can become overloaded with all the information fighting for our attention on the internet. As a result, there's been a growth in mindfulness meditation, a technique that gets people to slow down. It's practised by Meg Ryan and Goldie Hawn and research shows it does reduce anxiety.

REMEMBER YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN

"Anything you know, you forget. It's all about getting confused and getting unconfused."

That's the wisdom of Buddhist teacher Sylvia Boorstein, who wants to remind us we're only human. She adds: "We're doing the best we can. We will mess up or forget. When we treat ourselves with kindness, we don't collapse into shame or guilt, but can try again with greater wisdom for having faltered."

So if at first, second or third attempt you don't succeed, try, try and try again.

GET AN INTEREST

Finding a hobby and a purpose in life - whether it's doing crosswords, joining a book club or bird-watching - is essential to your happiness, according to Dr Clive Wood, who is running a course in positive psychology at Cardiff University.

GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK

"Take a tip from high-performance athletes. Look at how far you've come, not how much you've left to do," says author MJ Ryan. "Scientists call this the horizon effect. It creates encouragement and builds determination: 'I've made it this far; I might as well keep going'."

Change expert Ryan advises focusing on the half-stone that you've lost or the debt you've repaid and then look at how you've done it and can keep it going.

COPY SOMEONE

Being around good people helps us achieve good things, says author MJ Ryan. "Watch, learn and don't be afraid to ask. For example, ask them for their dating secrets. What makes them able to take risks at work?"