Author
Topic: Accosted on the street and did not engage (Read 12170 times)

A couple of days ago I was going to leave my CV in a couple of places that are hiring: as I walked down the street a guy suddenly started walking a few feet from me, clearly following my path. First he tried the usual "hello", then he moved to "hello, beautiful" - I ignored him and didn't make eye contact.

After another couple of attempts to engage, I decided to shut him down: I turned to him and said in my frostiest tone, "Do I know you?"

Him: No.

Me: (dryly) Exactly.

He stopped following me and slinked away. On my walk back, I kept an eye out for green t-shirts, crossed to the other side of the street and took a bus home.

I'm pretty proud of myself, especially for not answering to the first "hello" - that always gets me. My frosty tone probably needs work, but I'm glad it worked this time. I'm not even feeling guilty for being "rude"!

I'm pretty proud of myself, especially for not answering to the first "hello" - that always gets me. My frosty tone probably needs work, but I'm glad it worked this time. I'm not even feeling guilty for being "rude"!

ummm you *weren't* rude, not at all! you shouldn't feel guilty. kudos to you - and you are right, it's that first "hello" when they reel you in and you feel "obligated" to reply. ("hey i paid you a compliment, why won't you reply")

A couple of days ago I was going to leave my CV in a couple of places that are hiring: as I walked down the street a guy suddenly started walking a few feet from me, clearly following my path. First he tried the usual "hello", then he moved to "hello, beautiful" - I ignored him and didn't make eye contact.

After another couple of attempts to engage, I decided to shut him down: I turned to him and said in my frostiest tone, "Do I know you?"

Him: No.

Me: (dryly) Exactly.

He stopped following me and slinked away. On my walk back, I kept an eye out for green t-shirts, crossed to the other side of the street and took a bus home.

I'm pretty proud of myself, especially for not answering to the first "hello" - that always gets me. My frosty tone probably needs work, but I'm glad it worked this time. I'm not even feeling guilty for being "rude"!

From the information given, I'm assuming this was daytime in a populated area. It seems like the OP could have "shut this down" with less drama by simply acknowledging the first "hello." And then if the person tries to engage in conversation, then say something like "I'm not interested."

At night with no one else around? Then it might seem scarier. But that doesn't seem to be the case here.

From the information given, I'm assuming this was daytime in a populated area. It seems like the OP could have "shut this down" with less drama by simply acknowledging the first "hello." And then if the person tries to engage in conversation, then say something like "I'm not interested."

At night with no one else around? Then it might seem scarier. But that doesn't seem to be the case here.

From the information given, I'm assuming this was daytime in a populated area. It seems like the OP could have "shut this down" with less drama by simply acknowledging the first "hello." And then if the person tries to engage in conversation, then say something like "I'm not interested."

At night with no one else around? Then it might seem scarier. But that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Engaging is not necessarily a good idea, for two reasons:1) Some dudes take that as encouragement and become harder to get rid of2) OP is not on the street for the benefit of guys who want to talk to her. She shouldn't have to engage with strangers she does not know in that kind of situation.

From the information given, I'm assuming this was daytime in a populated area. It seems like the OP could have "shut this down" with less drama by simply acknowledging the first "hello." And then if the person tries to engage in conversation, then say something like "I'm not interested."

At night with no one else around? Then it might seem scarier. But that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Ditto!

Engaging is not necessarily a good idea, for two reasons:1) Some dudes take that as encouragement and become harder to get rid of2) OP is not on the street for the benefit of guys who want to talk to her. She shouldn't have to engage with strangers she does not know in that kind of situation.

From the information given, I'm assuming this was daytime in a populated area. It seems like the OP could have "shut this down" with less drama by simply acknowledging the first "hello." And then if the person tries to engage in conversation, then say something like "I'm not interested."

At night with no one else around? Then it might seem scarier. But that doesn't seem to be the case here.

I agree. I have to say I probably would have said hello in return.

The guy sounds annoying but going into defensive mode right away sometimes backfires.....and really, while I don't think OP was in the wrong at all with those types of guys you're probably going to have to say something blunt at some point whether you ignore him right away or not.

I just wanted to add that there's no need to be cute or funny about it. If you want someone to stop following you/leave you alone, I think saying "stop following me" or "leave me alone" is still considered correct. It's also much more direct and less likely to be misunderstood.