Can We Prevent Addiction And Heal It For Good?

The Addict Has A Different Biological Make-Up.

The trap of addiction seems to happen quickly for some people, and others don’t seem to have an issue with it. Why is that? Doctors are telling us that it’s in our genes! I remember hearing this thirty-five years ago when my husband was in rehab for alcoholism.

So if it’s already in a person’s biological make-up, is there any hope for them to be free from addiction?

I say there is definitely hope. I’ve witnessed my husband give up alcohol for 10 years, another one of his family members for longer, and his father. They were all heavy drinkers. It is harder for them to give up an addiction because everything within their mind is asking for relief and a chance to get it through their drug.

So what’s the magic trick? Of course, as you know there is none. I do believe that certain drugs are harder to give up than others but so many influences from many directions of varying kinds make everyone’s situation unique. But one thing human nature has going for us is the ability to be stronger when we need to be and theability to change.

It’s Not Your Fault

The number one thing to know and remember if you have someone close to you who is an addict is that it is not your fault. Ultimately everyone is responsible for their choices and we can’t possibly always know what’s going on inside someone’s mind. It’s not our fault that something is hard for them to deal with. Sometimes people tell themselves (especially Moms) that they must have done something terribly wrong. This is a lie! The worst thing you did, if anything, was once you already knew about the addiction, you kept doing things to make it easy for the addict to continue the habit. (giving them money, covering for them when they make a mistake, or cleaning up a mess that was a result of their habit).

I’m not a therapist, but I know that therapy is always a big influence in anyone’s life. The first thing I noticed when I went was the tremendous understanding and non-judgment that I felt. In fact, if you decide to try it and don’t feel this, you need to go somewhere else. Keep in mind, though, eventually, you will be given professional advice, and if you don’t try to do what you’re told, you may fail at overcoming whatever struggle it is that drove you to the therapist in the first place.

To anyone who has never experienced it I’ll tell you what it’s like. It’s therapeutic because you feel like someone is attentive to you and they want to help you. Sometimes we can talk to other people til we are blue in the face and we don’t feel better because we can tell they don’t know what to say, or they don’t care at all.

But, I believe that having a friend, parent, mentor, aunt, uncle, teacher, co-worker or anyone to talk to who listens and cares about you can be very helpful. The big issue is, YOU have to be open and honest in asking them for help. An untrained person can help you just by reminding you of the changes you wanted to make and why you wanted to make them.

This is why movie stars who want to be free from addiction are going to events with a mentor who can give them the reminders of why they don’t want to take part in the drugs everyone else is doing. That tells me that if we know someone who is messing up, over and over, in an addiction, they need our support.

So often we want to just rid ourselves of people who keep getting into trouble because of their addiction but I believe there is a right and wrong time to do that. It can get complicated, but in an effort to keep it simple for now, here are a few ideas of how we can help people in this situation.

Help Them To Feel Loved

Let’s say they are back from rehab the second time and doing good:

While they are sober, make sure to tell them how proud of them you are. Tell them how important they are to you and compliment something positive about their personality. In other words, make them feel lovable. The miracle that happens to a person who is told they are needed, wanted, loved, and lovable is the miracle that starts healing for the addict.

Talk about previous good times you had with the person. Try to find out what they previously liked to do with their free time. What was it that they couldn’t wait to do after school or work. Maybe bringing that up to them and encouraging them to start doing it again could help. We don’t want them to bury whatever pain it is that makes them want to use drugs but the therapist hopefully is helping them with that. In the meantime, I think any addiction can be like a voice in your head telling you over and over how good it would feel to use again. Maybe if we replace that voice with something healthy that make us feel good we would have the strength to give up the drug that leaves us feeling horrible after we have used.

I remember always hearing that I will feel so much better when I get my chores done, when I get my homework done, housework, and anything else that may or may not be fun. When I’m finished there is that extra bonus of feeling great! I’m not left with an extreme down feeling which turns into low self-esteem and sadness which ends up as a crippling burden to carry. Maybe the addict was never taught this or able to understand it. For more on self-esteem click here.

How It Feels To Stop A Drug

I had surgery on my shoulder a few years ago and the first couple nights after being cut open are rough! I was given Morphine tablets with an anti-nausea medicine to take with the morphine. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with horrible pain and taking the morphine. I actually didn’t like how I felt right before I fell asleep and it’s probably different from taking it with a needle, but it was too strong for me. Morphine would put me to sleep and take the pain away, but as I was falling asleep I started to feel euphoria, which is hard to explain. It was like my body and mind felt so good and peaceful and it kept getting better and better til I fell asleep. But right before I nodded off it started to feel like the room was starting to spin and that the euphoria was going too fast into a place that wasn’t good. I didn’t want to take it again but ended up taking it for two more nights.

After that, I had Oxycodone for the pain. I don’t recall how long I took it but it might have been a week. I don’t remember feeling to0 bad when I stopped this drug, although when I tried to go back to work I ended up crying from the pain and had to take more time off til I didn’t need the pain medicine. Once I realized the pain wasn’t as bad I stopped the Oxy. Since I deal with depression I probably thought I was just having a few bad days afterward and wasn’t in the mindset of taking more because I’ve learned with depression that it usually passes and there are things you can do to feel better until then.

But one day I was having severe cramps on my day off and I had leftover Oxy in the cupboard. The pain seemed unbearable so I took 1 pill and I felt better within thirty minutes. In fact, I felt like I was on top of the world! But the next day I was miserable. I wasn’t in pain but I was extremely down, sad, irritable, unmotivated and sorry I ever took the Oxy! I could see immediately why people who have a biological factor for addiction and even those who don’t would take the Oxy again just to feel better emotionally.

We Still Should Be Able To Be Free From Physical Pain While Being Treated For An Illness

All the fuss of Opioids an addiction has caused the healthcare system to try to control how much painkillers doctors can prescribe. I personally think that just makes things a major headache for everyone, doctor, pharmacist, and patient. Pain management therapy is what should be offered, prescribed and encouraged for people coming off an extended period of taking pain medicine. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and was treated with Fentanyl, Oxycodone, and other pain medicines during cancer treatment. When his pain was almost gone he was prescribed pain management therapy to help him slowly lesson the drug, therefore drastically lessening the negative effects of quitting cold turkey.

Yes, some people might still have a problem and doctors can help with getting the patient help. A lot of times life answers aren’t as easy as we would like. Can we take something a toddler has had like an attachment to a bottle away in one day without a fuss? Sometimes we think we always have to be comfortable but it won’t hurt us to feel discomfort or sadness for a while as we slowly lower the meds. It is easier than the extreme depression that results from trying to stop cold turkey.

There are definitely times where the addiction is affecting other people negatively and causing havoc that is too hard to cope with.

That is when boundaries need to be set that possibly includes separation from the addict. There is a right way to do this. I will talk about this more in a future post.

Do you have any experience with addiction or someone you know with addiction that would give you some insight to share with us? Please Do! Please keep their names anonymous.

Are you worried about your younger children getting involved with drugs as they grow into their teen years? Children don’t always know how to describe what they are feeling so the parent needs to be able to read any signs they may see and help them deal with the emotions without making the child feel like something is wrong with them. Below is an award-winning course for parents. Make sure you know how to help your child while they are young. I believe this is the key to preventing addiction and other problems. Often, people stuck in addiction are trying to numb the emotions they don’t know how to deal with.

Reader Interactions

Comments

I am a recovering addict. That is the basis of my blog. Honestly, when I saw the Pin, I expected to click through and hear a bunch of stuff about how addicts suck and it’s their choice and they don’t have any willpower and all that. I must say, I was pleasently suprised and I thank you for that. I thank you for taking the time to write this post ans share how addiction can really affect anybody. It’s not the sterotypical jjunkie living in a abandoned house or car.

I have 3 children and I tell you, I know that genetics affects addiction. I am scared to death for when they get older. Yet, I also know that their lifestyle and environmental factors play a big role as well. While genetics can affect the chances of them using drugs, to begin with. I also know that addiction does NOT discriminate so, ultimately there are no factors defining exactly what causes us to become addicts. Sad to say but it’s the luck of the draw. Just hope and pray we educate our children enough and they trust in themselves enough to make the right decision.

Hi Tasha,
Thanks, Natasha. I’ve been through it with my husband. He’s a recovering or I want to say recovered alcoholic. I’ve slowly been hearing more positive reports on addiction being looked at as something that people can truly recover from. So far, as far as I know, my 4 adult children aren’t having issues with addiction. I know what you mean though, you always hope and pray they don’t get into addiction. We were always honest about how hard it was and what we went through when we were young and drinking and the trouble that followed. I think when they see that we are trying to be honest and open about it, and that we know we messed up, they feel like they can come to us with problems. So far so good though. Best wishes.

In a way, we are predisposed from conception to be who we are, from our looks, intelligence and health problems.

I am a huge supporter of genetic testing as a preventive measure. Sure it can be frightening to find out you’re inclined to get something, but the old adage rings true here – “prevention is better than the cure.” I hope to have this testing done sooner or later and I think it could be a powerful tool for self-knowledge and prevention if it was part of the health care system.

Yes, I agree!. My Grandfather had Alzheimer’s disease and I want to be tested for that but most insurance companies won’t cover it :(. But with addiction, the positive side is my husband’s Father owned a beer distributor and was and alcoholic and they both stopped drinking. I think knowing gives a person power to beat it because if they are susceptible they need to work that much harder to stay away from it.

This is a great read thank you for this! Addiction is never an easy thing to deal with. I’ve seen it in my family. It takes a toll on everyone but when we don’t know how to approach an addict and help them positively we can easily help the situation spiral. More people should definitely become educated in this topic. I think the first step is that people can’t be afraid to talk about it. I feel like it’s still an issue that people sometimes tip toe around and you simply can’t.

I agree with you completely. Noone’s perfect so there’s no reason to hide. I know, though, as a mother of adult children it would be hard to tell people if they had a problem because of all the judgment toward them. I can see things moving forward toward a more open and accepting society, not enough, but better.

Great article with an extremely uncomfortable subject…and one I have far too much experience in personally.

The biggest thing here that hit me is we have, oftentimes, a narrow view of ‘addiction’ and tend to think of drugs and alcohol, but that’s only the beginning.
There’s things like theft, pornography, lying, eating, sex, dominion (I’m the MAN of this house!), even violence which can be placed in the category of addiction.

It’s scary.

As for me, I am an alcoholic, used to do drugs and also smoked 3 packs of unfiltered cigarettes a day for more than a decade.

The drugs was the easiest for me to quit, all with the overwhelming love and support of my mom and dad.

The second was more of a challenge, as I would drink a 5th of whiskey every night after work, but again, with the love of my parents and family, overcame that…

However, for the smoking, which no one could break—not my parents, family or friends, it took something special.

A girl.

You see, the day I met my wife Kathilynn, something happened.

I wanted something more than my smokes.

…I wanted to NOT be alone.

I wanted to get married.

…and something inside me said, “If you give up this part of your life, you’re gonna marry that girl.”

So I spent days on the floor of my parents bedroom, sweating and vomiting—with my father BEGGING me to let him go buy my smokes so I’d stop the pain, but I said “NO!”

End of the story is: I met my wife on a Sunday (at Church)…and we were engaged to be married a week later.

Gave up cigarettes almost 28 years ago and I’ve been married 27 years, have 12 beautiful children, 7 grandchildren and many more on the way.

I wanted something MORE than cigarettes…and that gave me both the motivation and POWER to overcome.

Exactly, our counselors warned me that when my husband quit drinking he will likely pick up another addiction at first. I think maybe the need to lean on something for comfort is why people may do that? I mean, I have a few addictions myself…too much chocolate, Netflix, Facebook and a few more! But then again I probably wouldn’t die over these… which isn’t the only point of breaking the addiction. Not letting them control my life is probably the most important thing!

Wow, what an eye-opening read. Where I live it is a rural and country area. Lots of farms, lots of open space and unfortunately lots of drugs. I have several close friends that are dealing with heavy addictions. I never really truly got it. What the parents are going through. I would listen but never knew what to say or how to say it. Your post gave me an inside look into their world.
Thank you for that. 🙂

Your welcome Tracy! Thanks for visiting my site! I guess it’s like anything else, we can try to learn about what our friends are going through but I feel that nobody really knows what it’s like to experience it themselves. But if friends have our support that is definitely helpful!

Addiction is a disease which eats the whole family. I remember growing up seeing one of my uncle’s son with drug addiction and how my uncle and aunt used to leave money on the table so he could buy drugs himself instead of stealing.

Drugs literally destroy families. I am so glad you addressed it so well in this blog post Patty! Thank You!

Though you are 100% correct, Vinay, I’m going to take a different approach here just for a second and say that IF (and this really is BIG “if”)…you are willing to be open, it can also become a great blessing in life.

Though drugs challenged both my own family and my in-laws family with one of their own children, going through the process together shook many cobwebs free and brought the clan closer together.

The very fact that the drug problem HAD to be dealt with, allowed so many other issues to come out and get resolved as well.

…just wanted to throw in a positive, which can be applied to ANY given situation.