18-25 Mothers, First Child

Advice please

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ashleybristow wrote:

So my hubby and I have talked about this a few times. There's 2 different things I need advice for.. I'm gonna try to make it short and sweet.

Background story - my hubby lost his father and brother in the same month this past August and his mom is very distraught over it (as any wife/mother would be). I love his mother so much and I try to be there as best as I can given I've never been in the situation she's in.

1st. I really just want it to be me and my hubby in the delivery room, it's our first baby and I just really think this moment is something that we should just experience together. I don't mind if his mom or my family is in the room all the way up until I start pushing, but at that time I want it to just be us. I'm not sure how to tell his mom that and not offend her cause I know she really wants to be there..

2nd. I am not religious. But I used to be. His mom is very religious and is very persistent on getting our son baptized. When she first asked me it was right after the passing of his father and brother so I really didn't know how to say no..knowing she was going through such an emotional time. But after thinking about it I really just think Baptism and religion at all should be my sons choice when he's older...what if he doesn't want to be Lutheran? What if he wants to be baptist or Catholic or nothing ! I feel like I've taken away that option for him. It's nothing against his mom. And I don't mind her taking our son to church and if he ends up wanting to be religious that's perfectly fine with me but I want it to be his choice. How should I approach the situation given that I already told her I was okay with it happening..

My mother and father in law wanted us to get our daughter baptized as well. Neither one of us go to church and aren't necessarily religious. She never got the hint that we didn't want it. So I had to flat out tell her no. It isn't happening. She was pissed but oh well.

I also believe if you do t want her in the room while you deliver then don't allow it. I understand that it's a tough situation but you want to feel comfortable in that situation. She should understand if you say no. If she gets upset just explain to her how you feel.

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