Aishwarya said 'Mommy after i ate the vada they gave for breakfast my tummy is paining, but i do not want to take leave today . I will take leave on Friday as i do not have any classes that I would want to skip'. This she said on wednesday eve. Thursday rolled around. She said the same thing. Then Friday rolled around and she said 'mama remember i am not going to school today, my tummy is paining from Wednesday'.

I told her, well you can take rest on Saturday, but she wanted to rest today. So she is home playing basketball with Patti.

I let certain things slide. Before i would count the number of hours she is not working or the days that i am paying for tuition and she is not utilizing. Now i am stopping to smell the roses. Love, love alone makes the world go round.

I heard my son call out to me. I looked if he came back. I had just dropped with my driver in the basement. Poor darling. He wasn't feeling too well. An area of his skin was burning with some red rashes. I put silverex, let it cool for a few hours before dressing him up. Lovely son had to go to TKD. His black belt is coming up soon. My doll son has to go and get the belt.

Anyway my son was not at the door. it was all the other noises around that had formed the needy 'Mommy Mommy son' voice, just like the clouds make up our favourite images. He was not at the door, coupled with the whiny needy gentle voice prodding at me 'Mommy Mommy'.

I wish he had come back. Is my son needing me somewhere. More that needing the I, the me, is he needing the underlying comfort a mom brings to his woebegone self. My dear son, wherever you are right now, your mom is right there with you. I say a little prayer for you. Mom cannot be there always with you, but God is and God will be, and I feel so much better when I say a little prayer for you.

Incidentally it is one of my favourite songs as well. My son I say a little prayer for you.

I just watched the whole youtube above and felt the same feeling of desperation as I always feel while watching this movie. The feeling Julia feels. I so wished she got the guy. And McDermott or whoever he is, is so sizzling. Love him love him to death. I wonder why he didn't become a big deal like Tom Cruise or someone. There is one more movie of his and I just loved watching him in that as well. He is has done his part so well in this movie, convincing to the utmost degree and never ever flinching from his love for Carmen or whatever her name is. And Julia makes all your heart crawl into a pocket and weep cuz she didn't get the guy. I wish they did this movie all over again with mcDermott or whoever he, falling all over for Julia and ofcourse Julia never wearing those baggy pants and shirts again, only feminine clothes please or sexy cut off suits !!

Oh well, i wish they did , they did. Carmen is so awful throughout the movie. Dont' you all agree with me ? ;)

What a child goes through, to go to school from one house and come back to another !!
Oh my dear child, you did keep telling me you didn't want to move, but i thought you were young to go through these tumultous feelings, my dear child, i see it in the picture, what i didn't see face to face.

Every time i think about my anna, worse yet see his pictures, i just tear up as he reminds me so much of my father and all the love he has given our family. And what do i do ? I say a little prayer for him. Thank you Anna, you are the best anna that i could have had. !!

todays post. What a day , it was spent at the spa making me look my best ;)
I had a hair wash, color, pedicure and coloring the nails. all in all a well spent day making me look good ;) !!

Back to what ? - a husband who is home at the ungodly hour of 12 noon on a weekday. Back from Germany. It is so good to see husbands after long periods of absence. So the first one hour was spent without anyone trying to see if the other is trying to insult the another !! . All was well, happiness abound and love remained for a long time to come, till the little brats rushed home, mama giving one set of instructions and papa giveng another and tempers flared, horns on the forehead appeared, smoke around the nostrils. Yes, our children do this to us ? Do yours ?

You guys know, i am very worried about my little tejas. He woke up this morning and said, he is nervous that he has a lot to do. performance anxiety. so i read about it and it said it is good to have some amount. and how to alleviate the rest. The best way is to be prepared. lack of preparation is a major cause. Then you will worry how much ever you are prepared, as worriers do as they want to do their best.

Well, my dear dear Tejas, i don't want you to worry. You are the best. Every week i get to hear from your teachers how wonderful you are and the wonderful stuff you do. Yes, mommy pushed you earlier on and now i see you are pushing yourself. My darling Tejas, let us find a way to do it without anxiety, stress and all the unpleasantness. But sometimes to see the great truth, we have to undertake a lot of hardships. No pains, no gains. The milk is curdled to get the cream. So you need to see the beauty in the pain and so should i . Let me not go all soft on you like i did for a while and nothing was accomplished. All your teachers were up in arms against you for not practicing, for wasting your god given talent. Finally after much trail and error, we have come to a happy medium i think. August was tough with your school opening and with all your other practices. finally September brings a sense of understanding your timings, you and your likes. You are the most precious boy that ever walked the earth. Your sensitivity and gentleness coupled with your energy and mischievousness is a delight.

Enna thavam seidhanai Yashoda, honestly, i thank you for giving me a chance to interact with you daily, be of service to you in any small capacity i can as a mother. These years will fly by and my boy will be leaving the nest, me empty handed with just those lovely memories to fall back on.

1. the girls have become excellent basketball players. Aishwarya dribbles continuously till her hands fall off. She is trying to good on her left and alternate hands. Amrita is the passing queen. When she passes the ball literally flies over my head (which doesn't take much actually ;).
They want to become basketball coaches. They asked what it takes to become one, i said first you've to teach elementary school kids, then if you get good at it, middle school, high school, college, university, state team and then national team and then you will be olympic coaches. They do not want to play , they just want to start coaching right away. This is, after a few days of playing basketball in our lobby ;) Only dribbling by Aishu and passing by Ammu. If you ask Ammu to dribble and Aishu to pass, they would be at a loss. Also both are not good at baskets. And they do not want to play, but want to be coaches right away. Then i told them they can't be coaches till they are 24 and no earning money till then. Then they said they will be home and learn basketball. I said they have to earn money after they become 18 and i will kick them out of the house. This panicked them greatly and they wanted to know how to buy a house, live in a house, etc.
So then they thought for a second and said, ok we will leave in this house and i can leave, so that way i am the one who is kicked out. i told them that can be done too. then they thought for one more second and Amrita said ok we will get married so our husbands can earn. i told them papa lets me stay home only cuz i am looking after you kids, but i have to go to work too which i am.
Then they said, ok we will have 2 husbands and 1 wife, i will look after their kids. i said ok we will buy 3 flats for 3 of you. Ammu said no no , only 2 is enough, one for tejas and then one for the girls and their families. Then we will have more people and so more hands to help out and more mouths to feed. They they said we cannot accomodate their aunts and relatives as they will not have space and then they thought about their future. i told them we have a house in Chennai and a house in detroit, so not to worry and they all will have a house. they said ok we will earn and they will live off us, as they were not sure if they will be able to learn. i said don't worry, every body can earn and will find a job or invent something and their only duty is to learn now. Then i told them the wise saying of 'teach a person to fish, and not feed them fish'. And their last thought before sleeping must have been, 'we don't want to fish. We don't eat it '

i was just reading this post a while back and i realized how close to God i was after having come back from BV camp. Now after two months, i am almost with no God in me. The constant association with satsang is very important. To talk about Lord in the company of others, to talk with Lord and read ways to attain his Lotus feet has to be constantly held close to mind, else life will just take you away with its noise and meaningless activities.