I should be sleeping to try and kick my cold, but I have once again been distracted. I was going to put something away and what should I come across but my old journal (I would say diary but that sounds so sixth grade!) Naturally, I had to start reading it. It starts a few months into my first semester at college. It’s amazing how you tend to forget the bad things. Which, actually, might explain why I don’t remember most of college. Not that college was really that bad, but at the time I felt it was. It was mainly just lonely.

In any case, I digress. It goes on to talk about closure with the guy I loved all through high school… what I want my house to have when I grow up (I must say, I got about half of it!) … my whirlwind decision to run for and become Circle K District Treasurer (another chapter of my life I’d almost forgotten!) … and of course it constantly recounts my ever persistent boy troubles (some things never change!) But, despite all of that, is what I found next… my “List of Things to Do Before I Die”.

As far as I know, this is the first written list I have made of this type. I chose to write about it because, while it is quite short, I have accomplished many of the things on it. In my previous post I was somewhat despondent at having not accomplished anything I wanted to. Perhaps I set my goals to high? This discovery gave me some strange sort of hope again. So here is my earliest list…

I don’t usually write about too personal of things on here because: a) let’s face it, no one really cares and b) I don’t want to cause any trouble or stir up any drama by throwing anyone under the bus. That being said, I feel I need to get a little personal to tell you how I have realized the rediculous and crazy way life works out regardless of your plans…

It started a few weeks ago when I got a sudden influx of self-confidence and general “throw caution to the wind” attitude. I went out on a mission. The same mission I’m sure any girl who has been single a little too long and had a little too much to drink might go on. Needless to say, I met one guy one night, got hit on by a semi-famous guy the next, and rekindled a bit of an old flame the next. Then I start panicking about what to do about them all. So to help me out, life starts eliminating them for me… one lives to far away and is generally out of reach. Down to two. Both of them kind of fickle. A week later I go out to meet one of them, but he has to bail. So I do my thing- which apparently acts as a magnent even when I don’t want it to. I turn down a lot of creeps that night. Then one won’t take no for an answer. Thinking I’ll probably never hear from him again, I give him my number and lo and behold, he’s the one I talk to the most!

I don’t tell you all this to hurt anyone, and I promise you I’m really not a floozie- they just kind of flock to me all at once (where was everybody for the six months I had no one!?!?) I still hold to the fact that life puts each and every person in your path for a reason. Even if only to teach you one small lesson. And it seems the people I meet are never for the reasons I think! It never ceases to amaze me the curve-balls life continues to throw.

My boyfriend and I finally broke up last week. O sad, boo hoo, don’t worry it’s nothing I’m not used to (unfortunately). That’s beside the point though because unlike everything else in the past year, this really isn’t about him. The funny thing is is that even without knowing that we were broken up, guys come out of the woodwork trying to get with me, claiming they love me, etc. Only they don’t actually know me. I like to believe in love at first sight, but you usually confirm it by dating someone for a little bit before actually admitting it. Funny thing is, anyone who thought they might have loved me only need spend a month or two with me before they quickly realize they don’t. I kind of come from a line of strong-willed and independent women. My family is fairly matriarchal for the most part. So I can see where guys get scared off. I’m a fairly pretty, smart, and sometimes fun girl. But those are not things to base love on. And trust me, unless you’re in my inner circle, that’s pretty much all you know of me. A lot of people seem to think they know me and they don’t.

And on a separate, somewhat related, note- guys you’re probably not going to get very far with girls if you proposition them before you even ask their name. Newsflash, I am more than just a vagina, so fuck off.

Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.
My life has become one giant crazy random happenstance.