Blagger of the month … plus the funniest thing you’ll ever read

Turns out the Shamanic Freedom Coalition is an organisation old Niall invented in his head, he explains as he continues

“I wish to form a pressure group to fight against the government’s stance on hallucinogenics. I have been practicing tribal style shamanism tripping in the countryside as a spiritual path. Now i’m a potential criminal. I need help building a website and getting members. Thanks.”

Reasonable sentiments, although the dodgy hippy sensor’s starting to stir. Niall then goes on to briefly tell us about his ‘oh so interesting ,(like Niall’s the only one who’s ever tripped)’ psychedelic experiences, I won’t bore you.

Building up a swirly head of steam our hero begins to rage at the current legal position of psychedelics making the proclamation that

Now I wish to fight the authorities by setting up a pressure group – an order of Shamans if you will.

adding “I intend to devote my life to raising awareness to this and fighting ignorance.” and “I can no longer sit back and wait for someone else to do this. It’s time i go into the firing line!”.

The proud shamanic warrior then reveals his plans, firstly asking for a web designer because “i need help setting up a website where people can pay online to become members”.

and then comes the punchline “then when it affords me to eat, pay rent and bills” tah dah! .. the boy played a blinder

Niall wants us all to send to him our money, and then, when he decides he’s reached a level of lifestyle which suits him, plus keeps him in the old class a’s, he may, with no plans as to how, smash the state and bring the prohibitionists tumbling down.

Go Niall.

an easy target I know, and the post’s probably been hidden by now, but folks that was not the funniest thing you’ll ever read (I hope) … this is.

An over-optimistic hippy called shamania goes on to post a comment with advice to help our Niall on his psychedelic, visionary quest (racket) saying

“sounds like a good project, apart from the bit about it making you a living – that would never work and would lose you a lot of support anyway if it did!”

and then adds, are you ready kids

“You might want to contact Fraser Clark”

sorry, to anyone I kept waiting, this was probably a bit of an in joke…

(as a neat postscript shamania then gives Fraser a further plug and lists his e-mail to further our interpid shamen on his way to enlightenment, before hitting him with “(you could) advertise your initiative in his e-newsletter” … how altruistic these hippies are … peace and love man … oh and your credit card details please)

I’m glad I found this. Apparently I’m a sketchy skiver, and a ‘drug crazed hippie’ or something like it.
I’d like to meet this person who judged me so harshly, having not had these visionary experiences yourself, it’s easy to pigeonhole me as a great unwashed Glastonbury stereotype space cadet.
As for the person who replied with:
“Party like it’s 1994! I didn’t know there were any Drug Shamen still running about – thought they’d all got jobs in call centres and “the media”..”
If you live in a reality where everything conforms to fashions, fads, etc, then you no doubt would think like that. Whatever.
I’m not an angsty dreadlocked pot head who listens to the levellers the way I would have done in 1994 because that would be to stagnate, but there have always been psychedelic shamans throughout human history.

Also these snide comments, being two years old as a response to an idea I had on a whim, would naturally be the feedback of people like to take the piss, but I bet you lot have always been scared to be like me for the fear that your mates would take the piss out of you. The humiliation would be unbearable would it not?

Before I end this, ask yourselves on question – does what you have read sound like the ramblings of a space cadet/skiver/hippie/idiot?

Also before I go, if you have stumbled upon this reply, visit http://www.shamanic (don’t bother) freedom
Due to apathy it is not a coalition, but the idea evolved into something else. If you don’t wanna buy from this online shop, then check out the links page to see that I’m not alone.

Go on, carry on being pisstakers and shouterdowners in your limited worlds based on stereotyping. Never grow beyond that for fear of alienation.

I have my head held high, I have my dignity, I have all the respect from those who know me and you cannot take that away. Why not try to reach me instead? What do you think I’m gonna do to you?

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