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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Decisions

So, it has been decided. For good or for bad. That I am not tracking until I get home. This was a big decision to make, but it was one that had to be made. I may regret this decision when I get home and I step on the scale, but for my mental stability, it had to happen. I am still trying very hard not to fall into old Emily ways, although 4th weekend was NOT good in this respect, but I am not writing everything down.

Everyday, I was feeling SO guilty and SO stressed out, that it was interfering with my job. Not only that, but I was feeling TERRIBLE about myself. Like a failure, like someone that doesn't know how to take care of themselves. It was truly becoming an obsessive issue and THIS is like old Emily. Obsessing, feeling guilty... And I DON'T want to be that person again. I was so unhappy for SO many years. Seriously. I'm feeling good about my body. I am feeling good about my life. I need to have a healthy relationship with food in order to make it through the next 21 days. And then I will sign up for another 5k! And I will join a dance class. And I will be making dinner all the time.

Tomorrow starts today. And today, I am making this decision, even though it may not be by the book, it's the decision that I have to make.

On a positive note, Shelby, THE BESTEST, sent me a card and I carry it with me!! It's a reminder! :-)

So thank you to those people who have sent me positive notes along the way! :-) Keep it up! They are going to help me get through these 21 days of hard eating!!! :-)