And I'm sad that I wait for her death and tired from being happy each extra day she's here.

But most of all, I'm sorry for the people around me, happy and moving forward. I can tell by their voices, they're waiting too. This is why I try to keep things private and then I open my mouth because the time is here and the time isn't here and all these people who have been loving me and supporting me have to wait one more, two more, however many days more.

And I just can't talk about it anymore, cry about it anymore....

This lil blog is on radio silence for...gosh, who knows how long, but I'll be back when it's time to write again, I'll let you all know what's up.

And as much as people say - reach out, talk about it, get hugs, etc., I think I'm going to keep this one close to the vest for a little while. I don't have to explain anything to me.

Smooches to everyone, you're all just awesome and lovely and thank you.