Surrendering control

We wish to be very loving with you today as we address a sensitive topic– one that if properly understood can grant you great freedom and grace, and this is the subject of “control.”

You have a saying on earth about certain individuals on your planet – “Oh he’s a control freak! She’s a control freak!” You say it as if this is an unusual ailment, but as we see it (and we say this with love), almost every human being upon the earth is a “control freak” in one way or another.

We are not saying that most of you have any conscious desire whatsoever to bend others to do your bidding! Most of you would never dream of dictating another’s choices, nor coercing them to do your will. Most of you would say, “I have no desire to control anyone else.” We believe you! However, control can show up in very subtle and self-sabotaging ways.

For example, say you want to help someone you dearly love. Suppose they are sick or engaging in unhealthy behaviors. You teach them about proper nutrition. You share information that can help them. You suggest they see healers, counselors, intuitives, etc. All of these are very loving and kind suggestions.

What do you do however, when this individual wants nothing to do with your kind offerings? What do you do when they continue to engage in behaviors that continue to hurt them, and in turn hurt you? Can you simply love them, allow them their path, and take care of your own joy? Or do you get frustrated and upset with them – angry that they won’t listen to you or accept your help?

Dear ones with all love and respect, we must point out that getting frustrated with another when they won’t listen is really a symptom of being frustrated with yourself… because you can’t control them! Even if your desire is to assist someone you love dearly, you can’t force them bend to your will.

Love offers. It doesn’t insist. Love allows. It doesn’t judge. Love is deeply honest and allows you to say, “I love you and care about you and want you to be happy and healthy but I no longer know what to tell you since you don’t like my suggestions. I pray you find another way. It hurts me to watch you hurt. I’m going to go take charge of my own joy and well being. I’ll be here if you need my assistance or suggestions. I’ll be honest about what resonates with me and what does not.”

Then dear ones, allow yourselves your own health well-being, and joy, whereupon your loved one may feel a bit left out and perhaps tend to their own a little more carefully!

A second example of subtle control happens within your own psyche, when you want something and don’t know what to do to make it come about. You want more money and don’t know how to generate it. You want to heal a relationship and don’t know how to do so. You want to find a new job but you haven’t yet had any success. You want to solve a problem but don’t know where to turn.

This is where most human minds start to take control! You worry. You over analyze. You search for solutions far past the heart’s true desire to do so. You are trying to control the outcome, instead of relaxing into the arms of the Divine…

Give your problems to the Creator. Relax. Enjoy your day and understand that when the time comes to act you will be guided.

Our wish for all of you is that you would learn to notice, love, and soothe your inner control “freak.” Reassure this part of yourself. Tell them that when you can’t control another, you can love them through their lessons. Remind this part of yoruself, that when you don’t know what to do, the universe does.

Speak to this part of yourself as you would speak to a worried child. It is simply a part of you that wants so much more for yourself or the world, yet doesn’t know how to get there.

When your inner “control freak” learns to F.R.E.A.C. (Finally Release Every Attempt to Control!) you will experience immense relief! You’ll rest, knowing that you are deeply loved and guided. You’ll breathe easy, knowing the universe has your back. You’ll release yourself from being responsible for other adults, knowing that each soul must choose their path and the accompanying lessons.

Releasing control in the situations where you really don’t have it is the secret to enjoying a life of deep, and abiding peace… no matter what the world or those around you choose.

Ann Albers is a popular Author, Spiritual Instructor, Angel Communicator, & Modern Mystic. Enjoy her free weekly newsletter, "Messages from Ann & the Angels," her Internet TV show, Live Events, Books, CDs, Recipes, Poetry, Photographs, and more at www.VisionsOfHeaven.com! Ann delights in helping you create a heavenly life on earth!

2 Comments

Dear Ann and the angels, I know this message is for many, but I feel it’s meant for me. It’s opened my eyes and made me realize how much I do want to control the outcome even though in my prayers to God, I say I give my worries over to him. Thank you for that blessing and for always guiding us to be better in every way, with everyone and everything. Please pray for my husband’s full recovery and total healing, as well as my mother’s. They both had surgery recently.