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Friday, 10 September 2010

Bah to Boots

It happened again last night. There I was, in Westfield shopping centre, trying to squish my calf into a new-season boot. Why do I think my curvy calves will have somehow shrunk in the wash of August? Each year I seem to completely forget and get seduced by leather and buckles. Oh the folly.

Even if I get said calf into said boot, there are two problems. Namely:

How to get calf out again. A tug of war with me, calf, boot, and sales assistant may be very entertaining for thin-calved onlookers, but rather demoralising for the one who is being winched out of nice footwear.

Calf bulge. This is where the calf blossoms like a mushroom over a particularly sturdy stalk, and it is not the type of look one tends to aim for in life.

As much as I love autumn, it does come with a boot-shaped shadow.

Even boots that look massive don’t fit me. This of course does nothing for the self-esteem as I lurk around the ‘wide-leg’ aisle. I find myself suffering from acute symptoms of ‘calf envy’ as I watch others pulling on boots with ease, not needing to tuck and tug at the zip. They look so happy! So carefree! They have so much choice!

Yesterday’s foray into the depressing world of fat-boot shopping was just a small taste of what is to come. Sadly current boots are on their way out, so I do have to find another pair. I promise I will love you and take care of you! The only thing you have to do to make me happy is to fit.

25 comments:

I am just cinderella big foot borderline wide leg and what i have done in the past have included buying george boots, buying online from an american store if you cant travel there, or find a store that carries hush puppies i think they have some boots and lastly go the dreaded ugly sorry i meant Ugg boots route good luck

I don't have a problem with boots. I do have a similar problem with trousers. Too much waist spilling over the top...crying in the fitting room because I've sucked in my breath so many times to do up the zip that I'm feeling faint...so upset that I FORGET to shop for boots to make myself feel better.

I do have very 'long' feet, so cute strappy shoes don't look so good on me. But I'm good with that. I'll take big clodhoppers over lard-waist anytime :D

But I do feel your pain. It sucks to not be able to wear something someone else is wearing. When I see a girl walk by wearing a cute strapless shirt, and everything still looks perky in the front, I want to trip her. Is that mean?

I guess one girl's boot shopping is another girl's (mine) jeans shopping. Went through hell last month but ended up with a great jeans find at New York & Company (chain store). Good luck with the boots.

I hate shopping for any type of clothing. I'm shaped funny...jeans, tops, dresses....I can do skirts. Regular shoes, sneakers, boots....I have small feet, and they're between regular and wide-shoe shopping is a nightmare just like clothes shopping.

My solution? Just buy books!!!!

I do wish you luck and hope you find what you want AND that you get it at a great price!

I have a similar problem - even the widest of wide boots won't go up my leg and I am always conscious of sales assistants watching as I tug on the zip to the point of ripping out the stitches. Ankle boots just don't look great with skirts unless you are a Victorian woman of easy virtue...

I don't have boot problems, but my body is shaped oddly enough that I can't wear most clothing off the rack. As a result, I only buy things that will still look decent from year to year. As for shoes, I have several pair I've owned for over 20 years that I like so much I just keep having them resoled!

Oh you are bringing me back to my teenage years when I was a bit of a skinny beanpole with HUGE Calves. Cowboy boots had jusr arrived in Dublin and I remember the trauma of NEVER EVER finding a pair I could get my bloody legs into! I blamed in on playing basketball for years! Still cant fit into most boots, but at least I can take comfort in the fact that the rest of my body has caught up with fat calves! Makes the boot issue less traumatic!

Jayne Ferst

In the 1970s a girl was born and sent to school for a crime she didn't commit. That girl finally escaped from a dull comprehensive into the lost artistic underground. Today, still wanted by her job, she survives as a writer of fortune. If you need a story, if no one else can help, and if you remember the A Team theme tune, maybe you can sing it with me.