Sound the conch and gather your co-workers ’round: Anchorman 2is all but dead. CinemaBlend reports that while Will Ferrell gave a laundry list of upcoming projects at a recent press conference for Everything Must Go, the Ron Burgundy mustache will likely remain locked in its golden sarcophagus forever. “Anchorman 2, you really have to assert some sort of email hate campaign to Paramount Pictures. They’ve told us, ‘We’ve run the numbers and it’s not a good fit,'” Ferrell said, explaining that the sequel would have included more than a few sexually suggestive close harmonies. “We were going to do a Broadway musical and then have a film come out after the stage show. Everyone we tell the idea loves it, except for the studio that owns the rights. Ball’s in their courts, but they’re being idiots.”

Luckily Stepbrothers 2 is still on the table, as is Ferrell’s upcoming political comedy Southern Rivals, which co-stars Zach Galifianakis as Ferrell’s political opponent for a “a small congressional district in South Carolina.” The film will reportedly “have comments on the circumstance now in modern day politics,” and is scheduled to come out during the 2012 election season. Sadly, as for another rumored sequel, Ferrell says, “Zoolander 2 I don’t know anything about.”