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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Ifi's Fanfiction - Chapter One, Part Two

Six Days The Animorphs Were Idiots
The Day Marco Lost His Pants: Part Two

<Well, it's been fun, everyone,> said Jake sardonically.

"Is this one of your guards, Visser?" asked the male Controller.

"My…no. Shut up and let me think, will you? He appears to be under the influence of some sort of psychedelic drug."

The Controller looked at her, wide-eyed, "How do you know that?"

"I spent some time in Hollywood," she said defensively. "It was only to maintain my cover."

Luckily, Ax had come up with a plan. Without a sound, he'd demorphed and then remorphed into his human form with alarmingly convenient speed. Before anyone realized what he was doing, he'd rounded the corner and grabbed Marco by the arm.

"My apologies. Eez," he said. "The patient keeps escaping. Ing. His host has contacted a new Earth-disease that makes him unstable. Stable-able-able. Come along, now." He tugged Marco's arm. "We must return to the medical wing."

The male Controller looked alarmed. "Is it contagious?"

"Not contagious. Just embarrassing." Ax tugged at Marco's arm again. But Marco wouldn't move. He was staring at Visser One, or rather, the interesting way her hair seemed to melt into her lips.

"I don't want to go to school today," Marco mumbled. "Oh man. I really don't want to go to school. Do I have to?"

Visser One stared. When she spoke, her voice was cautious.

"No, Marco," she said at last. "You don't have to go to school today."

"Score," said Marco, and allowed Ax to lead him away. Occasionally, he made a beeping sound.

Visser One turned back to the male human-Controller.

"You were saying?" she asked.

* * *

As soon as they were around the corner, Ax shoved Marco into the wall. Marco tottered and lost his balance, landing face-first on the floor.

<We need to follow them and see what they're plotting,> said Rachel.

<Are you insane?> Jake cried. <We need to get out of here before Marco gets us all killed!>

<I didn't come this far to bail out now,> said Rachel. <If you're too scared, then go home, see if I care. I'm gonna find out what they're up to.>

<Did you listen to what they were saying? It sounds like Visser Three doesn't know Visser One is even here,> put in Cassie. <That's really weird.>

<Weirder than him suddenly collecting cats?> asked Rachel.

"This floor is so smooth," mumbled Marco.

<Remorph, you idiot, or we won't keep the next Taxxon that comes by from eating you. Alright, Rachel, you and me will follow after them. Ax, Cassie, Tobias, keep him from doing anything too stupid, and try to get him to remorph. We'll be back as soon as we can figure out what's going on.>

* * *

Visser One stood outside the door to Visser Three's suite. A fly buzzed around her head. She waved it away.

To cheer herself up, she ordered herself to think of what Visser Three's subordinates had agreed to give her in return for this small favor. The poor, desperate fools...

She knocked on the door.

<WHAT?> The force of the telepathic yell almost knocked her over.

"Is that any way to speak to a superior officer?"

<Edriss?> There was a crash, and then a scuffling sound. After a moment, the door slammed open, and a wild-eyed Andalite stood before her. <What are you doing here?>

Movement caught her eye, and she looked down. A tortoiseshell cat was winding its way around Visser Three's front legs.

<That's Doka,> said Visser Three. He leaned forward and picked the animal up. <She is my beautiful girl, yes she is. Yes she is! Does my pretty girl want her jangly ball? Let's see where you put it…> He turned around and went back into the suite. Visser One followed, cautiously.

The air in the apartment was stale, even for a room on a ship. The smell was highly reminiscent of her host's son's bedroom. Speaking of which, this would be the second time she'd encountered the boy. Highly suspicious. But she would keep that to herself, for now.

<Check to see if he's alright before we leave,> urged Eva. <You know you want to. Come on, you know you want to.>

Visser One ignored her host. Instead, she said, "This room is a disgrace. And why do you have Doritos all over the place? That doesn't even make sense."

Visser Three was too busy trying to find the aforementioned jangly ball to respond. Visser One continued to look around. She spotted four cats with just a casual glance, none of which found her interesting enough to examine for more than a moment. Visser Three appeared to have installed couches just for them to sleep on.

"What progress have you made in the conquering of this planet?" she asked.

<What?> Visser Three was lying on his side, trying to reach something underneath one of the sofas. <Oh. I am building a superweapon. Yes. That is what I am doing and have been doing for these past weeks because I have certainly not been sitting around feeling sorry for myself.>

"A superweapon? Where is it?"

<Well, Iirin is sleeping on the main component, but you see the basic idea. I will destroy the Andalite bandits from orbit!> He withdrew his arm. In his hand was a brightly-colored ball covered in a layer of dust. He tossed it to the center of the room, and the cat named Doka went chasing after it.

Visser One pressed her hand to her forehead. It was a human gesture, but she found it soothing. "Esplin, you can not bomb the entire state of California."

<Damn it, why does everyone keep saying that? Even my engineers refused to build the damn laser, that's why I had to do it myself!>

"Have you lost your mind? An attack of such a magnitude would induce panic! We would lose our chances of gaining any more voluntary hosts, and likely call down the entire Andalite fleet as well! The Council has sentenced others to death for less!"

Visser Three pouted, which was impressive, given that he had no mouth.

<What do you care, anyway?> he sulked. <I'm just an inconsiderate egomaniac, aren't I?>

Visser One sighed. "I'm sorry I said that. I was just frustrated. That's why I came here. To apologize."

Visser Three brightened up. <Really? You mean it?>

"Yes. I would like to put this unpleasantness behind us." Visser One forced a smile.

<Excellent! Then I will make dinner reservations straightaway! We can go to the opera! I have a tuxedo!>

Visser One tried not to wince. "Oh, uh, that sounds so...nice. But I must return to Leera immediately. I left the engine of my ship running. Perhaps some other time."

"Yes, do that," said Visser One, and backed out of the apartment. "And take a shower, as well."

* * *

<Well?> asked Tobias when Rachel and Jake finally returned. They'd managed to coax Marco back into fly morph, though nobody knew how to get him to stop singing the alphabet over and over again. <What are they planning?>

<Yeah, Jake. What was it?> asked Cassie.

It was interesting how much emotion could be poured into thought-speak. In this case, Jake's frustration was almost palpable.

Do you recall the Animorphs? A series of books about five (later six) teenagers who are granted the ability to transform into any animal so that they can defend the earth from a body-stealing alien menace? Well, we do. That's why we're going to review them. All 64 books, from start to finish. Here we go.