Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think.

So the season kicks off next Saturday. Well, it actually kicks off on Thursday, when contender LSU (Did you hear? Les Miles can't win when it counts!) plays nontender Mississippi State. (Did you hear? Sylvester Croom is black!)

Then it's on: Nearly half of Division 1-A teams will see their national title hopes effectively implode after the very first weekend. (I'm looking at you, loser of the Cal-Tennessee game.)

But not before ESPN puts on an eye-drying 25-hour pregame show running Wednesday night through Thursday night. If nothing else, that demands a drinking game, a sip for every hour:

Hour 1:1 sip if...
USC is slurped. (Yikes: Gonna be a long night/day.)

Hour 2:2 sips if...
Every time "Virginia Tech" and "tragedy" are used in the same sentence.

This week's Trendspotting: "30 is the new 35." A new rule pushes kickoffs back from the 35-yard-line to the 30. Urban Meyer thinks it will be a big deal. MGOBlog's Brian Cook does not. I'm a huge fan of Brian's, but I'll go with the coach of the reigning champ on this.

More injuries? Fewer touchbacks? More TDs? Better field position? Unintended consequences and TBD gamesmanship? No one really knows how it will work out, which makes the new kickoff rule the biggest X-factor of Week 1, if not the season.