FOX Broadcasting Co.
The other day, there was a teaser ad for the upcoming second season of The Following. It showed Kevin Bacon's character, Ryan Hardy, sitting in a chair in the middle of a fairly dark room. The camera began revolving around him from his left side while I was saying, "No, please, don't be what I think it is...don't be..." Of course, it was. It ended up with a bearded Joe Carroll, played by James Purefoy. This made me want to whack my head against the wall, since I thought Carroll was the lamest cult leader ever in the history of ever and FOX is making the biggest mistake ever bringing him back rather than trying to salvage something plotwise and move on.
The whole show just got incredibly stupid each consecutive episode. Honestly, the show probably only got good numbers due to people hate-watching it just to see how much sillier it could get. There was a sense of relief when it looked like Carroll apparently got burned into a crisp in a lighthouse fire in the first season finale.
If Carroll is back, the law enforcement people have to stop drinking the Kool-Aid of Stupid. Let's put it this way: if Raylan Givens from Justified could cross over into this show (hey, both are owned by FOX companies), he'd have found Carroll about 30 minutes in and then shot every one of his followers after that. People are that dumb in the show. They did things like turn their backs on someone who had admitted she was a follower of a homicidal maniac (someone got a hairpin in the eye for that). There were also times when the communications systems JUST happened to cut off at a certain point or someone happens to run from safety into the arms of the cult. (Natalie Zea's Claire, I'm looking at YOU.)
The problem is not Purefoy himself; he's a good actor who is saddled with some really truly terrible lines and actions. Bacon sometimes seems to have an expression on his face that says, "This two-year contract is guaranteed, right?" The writers don't DO anything to show why Carroll is such a charismatic person who has a following that makes Charles Manson's look like a tiny Boy Scout crew. When Carroll was trying to play charming, the words out of his mouth and his expressions would have made most people want to punch him. Well, me at least.
So, next year, we'll see what happens. Maybe the scene will turn into a dream sequence for Hardy and Carroll will be dead. But remember, show producers, if that's not the case, it's still not too late to bring in Givens from Harlan, Kentucky.
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Archer/YouTube
Recently, the TV show Archer posted a hilarious YouTube video teaser that is a parody of Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone video. It featured all the show's characters in a Top Gun commercial parody.
It's awesome because it brings back so many memories of the 1980s while simultaneously showing the usual Archer edge and humor, like having the characters do their own silly things, like spilling coffee all over themselves constantly. They even play up the supposed latent homo-eroticism from the movie. It's an entire decade flashback in a 1:37 clip. I know that H. Jon Benjamin is going to knock this out of the park with his voiceover - and so will Aisha Tyler (she's better at voiceover work than on-screen) and Chris Parnell.
This is why people love this show - it's got a sense of irreverence and whimsy that most others lack, and it's not afraid to parody other things. That one that poked fun at Justified was a classic. Since the teaser showed scenes from Top Gun, it's likely going to be a parody. I just hope that they don't skirt too far into Hot Shots territory, since that's another one that played up the Top Gun angle. Ironically, Charlie Sheen has a show on FX now as well. Now, if Archer could do Footloose. The Kevin Bacon one, not that ridiculous remake. Also, it would be interesting to see what Tom Cruise thought of all this.
It's making me long for January, when the show starts up again. Why do they have to start teasing these things SO EARLY?
Warning: The video has one very brief naughty moment with someone showing a Mister Digit finger puppet.
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Paramount Pictures
Mob movies are a part of our movie history - and where there are great mob movies, there are great quotes. It was hard to cull the list down to 10, but I think I did it. Please don't fit me for cement shoes and make me sleep with the fishes if you disagree with what I came up with.
"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse." Don Corleone, The Godfather
If I really wanted to, I could populate this whole list solely from this movie and its sequel, but that wouldn't be fair to the other mob movies. This is the line that most people tend to quote from The Godfather. Of course, they try to do it in Marlon Brando's jowly, mumbly style.
"I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!" Michael Corleone, The Godfather Part II
This is one of the most powerful scenes in the movie. Michael Corleone gives his brother Fredo the kiss of death. Yeah, we know how that one ended. It also made me leery of fishing for a while.
"You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f----d up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?" Tommy DeVito, Goodfellas
This was the scene that made Joe Pesci famous. It's a fantastic scene that shows how fast he could go from being calm to being a raging, homical lunatic. It made you fear him.
"That black book's a joke. It's only got two names in it for the whole country. And one of them's still Al Capone." Nicky Santoro, Casino
Yes, It's another Pesci appearance. It's like a race between him and Al Pacino to see who can get the most appearances on this list. It makes me wonder though... how would a fight between Santoro and Tommy DeVito go? It'd be one with a lot of violence and swearing at each other.
"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." Tony Montana, Scarface
Here's another movie that I could just take 10 quotes from and call it a day. Pacino makes another appearance on this list and he deserves to be there for his fiery performance as Montana. I was tempted to use "Say hello to my little friend!" but this one won out for me.
"I didn't ask for that and I don't want it. Goodbye Leo." Tom Reagan, Miller's Crossing
A highly underrated movie, this line is so defiantly spoken to bat down the offer of forgiveness. The Coen brothers made a great movie here and this scene deserves to be here.
"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" Michael Corleone, The Godfather Part III
Yup. Another Pacino appearance. No, he's not paying me to put him in here. This was a very mediocre movie in comparison to the other two, but this was a very powerful line.
"Did he sound anything like that?" Eliot Ness, The Untouchables
Another great movie with an abundance of great lines, particularly Robert De Niro as Al Capone. This was the scene that really grabbed me though, as Kevin Costner's Eliot Ness served up some long-awaited justice. The first time that we saw it in the theater, people cheered.
"You a gangster now. You can't learn it in school...you can't have a late start." Carlito, Carlito's Way
Pacino again. What can I say? The man is good in roles that center around the mob or organized crime. This is one is a bleak statement about what people have to do to enter that lifestyle.
"What Freud said about the Irish is: We are the only people who are impervious to psychoanalysis." Colin Sullivan, The Departed
It's kind of fitting that Matt Damon's Colin Sullivan was the one who spoke this line. His character was a sociopathic dirty cop who had no moral compunction about diminishing his badge by serving a master from the underworld.
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20th Century Fox
Film critics hated these movies - and theatergoers ignored them for these films and forked over their hard-earned money. Here's 10 critically-panned movies that were successful in the theater:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
This movie was SAVAGED by critics (20% Rotten Tomatoes) and made over $400 million. Fans paid to go see it despite herky-jerky camera work that left you unsure of what was actually going on during a fight scene. Of course, Michael Bay got to indulge his itch to blow stuff up. Go Figure.
Mortal Kombat (1995)
Theatergoers delivered a fatality to critics (33% Rotten Tomatoes) and swarmed to this movie to the tune of over $100 million. To my recollection, it's one of the few, if maybe even the only movie to be based on an arcade game that didn't get laughed out of the theaters immediately. Dig Dug is still awaiting its chance.
Garfield: The Movie (2004)
Even a 15% Rotten Tomatoes rating didn't prevent a sequel. The sad thing was that Garfield stopped be relevant or funny in the comics at least 15 years before this movie was made. What annoyed me even more was that they used a CGI Garfield, but a real-life dog to play Odie. Yeah... that would have been a computer animator's DREAM to make a dog like Odie.. with all tongue. If they could do that with Scooby-Doo, why not here?
The Golden Child (1986)
Even though it stunk (26%), it nearly made $100 million on Eddie Murphy's name alone. It was after Beverly Hills Cop made him an international superstar and he hadn't started making dumb career decisions like Norbert and Pluto Nash until much, much later.
Batman &amp; Robin (1997)
Critically-panned (12%), it made over $100 million and George Clooney refunding people's money isn't a deduction. This was such a star-studded movie, I was surprised it was as bad as it was. Not even Arnold Schwarzenegger could save this travesty.
Godzilla (1998)
What saved it was a strong overseas showing to earn nearly $400 million total - which probably broke even with the marketing campaign. I remember the hype for this film - ads in every subways station with catchy slogans about size mattering. Cool trailers that wound up showing the only good parts of the movie. It could have been so, so much better. Fortunately, Sarah Jessica Parker's hit on Sex and the City prevented Matthew Broderick from living a life of poverty after that.
Half-Baked (1998)
Hey man.. who would have thought a stoner comedy (29%) could make twice its budget? Pass the chips. Of course, it had one of the best all-time "I quit" scenes: "F**k You. F**k You. F**k You. You're cool. F**k You. I'm out!" This was what got Dave Chappelle on the radar so he could have his awesome comedy show.
Weekend at Bernie's (1989)
Not even a 48% rating could keep them from making TWO movies about hanging out with a dead guy. Andrew McCarthy also appreciated it keeping his career alive for longer than it should have. Jonathan Silverman is actually still acting, though his most recent show, Monday Mornings, was cancelled by TNT.
Patch Adams (1998)
Despite Robin Williams with a clown nose that people wanted to punch, it raked over $100 million in the U.S. I saw it in the theater and I almost had to get a glucose check afterwards, it was that sappy. Williams didn't care - he got to laugh all the way to the bank.
Grown Ups (2010)
Grown men acting like buffoons got it past a 10% rating to the tune of over $150 million and a sequel this past summer. It doesn't help that I find two of the leads in the movie, Adam Sandler and Kevin James, to be two of the most annoying comic actors on the planet. Chris Rock is still cool and I think Rob Schneider and David Spade were just thrilled to have work.
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ABC
Shark Tank will begin yet another season on Friday, September 20 at 9 PM ET on ABC. And I, for one, can't be more excited. More entrepreneurs will be climbing into the tank to either get their dream funding or get torn into chum by the hungry sharks. There's pretty much no in-between there, which is what makes it great.
The show is adhering to its main core, but it's also making a big change. This time, there will be two female Sharks on the show at the same time. Before that, Lori Greiner and Barbara Corcoran tag-teamed as the lone female out of five sharks. This time, both of them will be there sometimes and Daymond John will be getting a breather. What I like about this is that it will likely calm things down in what can often be testosterone-driven negotiations. How many times do you remember Mark Cuban going, "OK, you have 24 seconds. Yes or no? Yes or no? OK, I'm out. See ya!"? I can see Greiner and Corcoran both slamming on the brakes there to bring things back to a more sedate level.
One of the main draws of the show is that it is very re-watchable. I've seen the same episodes several times and taken away something new each time from how an entrepreneur either did a great job with the negotiations or frittered away their chance by even walking through those doors to meet the Sharks.
What I also love about the show is that the sharks have their own distinct personalities and aren't afraid to insult each other as well as those poor sharks that come in. Kevin O'Leary calls himself "Mr. Wonderful" and is more often a jerk than not. John can be brusque when he realizes the pitch is not for him, but for all his machismo, Cuban tends to be like Robert Herjavec and is very helpful in his explanations of why he is or is not in - unless the prospective entrepreneur pisses him off.
The only thing I don't like in the show is that advertising is starting to creep in at some points. Suddenly one of the Sharks will proclaim that they have to take a call on a prominently named phone. Things like that jar a bit. I know they have to do this to help combat DVRing, but it takes me out of the show.
Other than that, I can't wait until Friday. Come on in...the water's fine.
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CBS
Once House, M.D. went off the air, the complexity of characters on network TV shows took a nosedive. That was before Person of Interest, which returns Thursday, September 23 at 10 PM ET. It's a well-crafted show with a lot of intrigue, and I consider Jim Caviezel's character John Reese to be one of the best characters on network television now. (Important distinction: I'm not including cable shows here, because they tend to operate on a different level, due to fewer restrictions.)
Reese is a weapon, essentially, but he's so much more than just a fighting machine. He's got a tragic backstory that is unfolding as each season goes on, and Caviezel plays him perfectly. He works with a mysterious billionaire named Finch (played by the spectacular Michael Emerson), who gets unexplained Social Security numbers from a machine that operates a massive surveillance system that Finch helped create and uses them to rescue people who are in danger.
Adding to the intrigue, Reese wants to find out more about his mysterious boss, and Finch is more than happy to partake in the cat-and-mouse search, knowing full well that he's cloaked his true identity. Reese has found out more than he would like, though, and is still standing by Finch. There's always trouble brewing, though.
Reese isn't a superhero. Though he's quite capable of walking into a U.S. Marshals office and decimating several of them like a force of nature, he's also been shot and actually been outwitted by a nemesis of both of them. He's a very deadly person, but he's human. He's stoic, but Caviezel shows an intelligence and wry sense of humor behind that exterior. Caviezel and Emerson play off each other fantastically, and Taraji P. Henson and Kevin Chapman round off a nice ensemble that makes for very entertaining television. I'm looking forward to learning more about Reese's story.
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We all think of Sesame Street as a show for kids. It primarily is... but the writers love to add a good amount of humor to keep the adults sane while watching 45,000 hours' worth of the same episodes. They love to make any celebrities appearing on the show a foil - and the celebs don't mind!
1. Anderson Cooper
First it's Cooper's earnestly propping himself up in Oscar the Grouch's trashcan, then his interviewing the two Grouches, that makes this hilarious. I'm sure that kids don't even know who Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather really were. Just great.
2. Ricky Gervais
The interaction between Elmo and Gervais is what makes it, especially the beginning when Elmo mentions Brad Pitt. Then, Kevin Clash is able to give Elmo so much expression for a puppet with ping pong balls for eyes.
3. Jimmy Fallon
It's not just Fallon's goofy send-up of Bear Grylls, but also Sesame Street regular Alan Murakaoka who sells this. Murakaoka's eye-rolling comments in the background are just as funny as Fallon's earnestness.
4. Brian Williams
This is available for download on YouTube for $3.99 on Sesame Street's official channel, on Amazon Streaming and it's often on On Demand on Sprout. Watching the normally buttoned down Williams jump up and down and also chase a chicken who keeps taking his microphone are only a couple of the highlights.
5. Will Arnett
Arnett is great as this pompous magician who thinks he can fool children by doing simple addition and subtraction tricks without even attempting any real sleight of hand. Watching Sesame Street regular Chris pop his bubble is great.
6. Andy Samberg
PBS is constantly running this episode, called "Shape-O-Bots." Samberg dons a few very poor disguises to enlist the help of the Shape-O-Bots, and the results are hilarious.
7. Bo Jackson
The message behind this is great, but it's just so funny seeing Jackson in both football and baseball uniforms stopping and solemnly doing these kids things. Bo Diddley in the background is just the cherry on top of this sundae.
8. Patrick Stewart
Stewart lends a gravitas towards explaining the letter B...but the whole Shakespearean setting just makes it funny. Imagine if Ian McKellan had joined in?
9. Marisa Tomei
Tomei channels her My Cousin Vinny voice here for this act, and nails it. Of course, my son has never seen the movie - he's only three. I can't wait for him to see it someday.
10. The New York Jets
The funny thing about this clip is that two years later, none of them were with the team. Coach Eric Mangini was let go and Chad Pennington and the others were also gone. Ah football. Here today, on another team tomorrow.
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Orion Pictures
Every movie has its quotable moments, but sports movies are the best. They can inspire even more than regular movies. Here are 10 that may get you to jump out of your chair and do 10 pushups right away. Or something like that.
1. Field of Dreams
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time." - When reading this, people are legally obligated to use James Earl Jones' bass voice.
2. A League of Their Own
"Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!" -- Tom Hanks' Jimmy Duggan was in need of sensitivity training when talking to his female players.
3. Rocky
"You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!" - Mickey's promise to Rocky while training him could have been dangerous if true. At the very least, you'd hate to be in the next stall.
4. Slap Shot
"I'm listening to the f-----g song!" - Steve Hanson's reply to the referee giving him a warning during the national anthem about possibly dirty play never fails to make me laugh. (NSFW Language: You might want to wear headphones or close your office door for this one.)
5. Raging Bull
"You didn't get me down, Ray." -- Jake LaMotta's retort to Sugar Ray Robinson after their fight shows Robert De Niro at his best.
6. Bull Durham
"Wow. Anything that goes that far needs a stewardess on it." -- Truth be told, I could just have nine Bull Durham quotes here and they'd all be great. Crash Davis' explanation to Nuke LaLoosh about just playing and not thinking things too deeply is sage advice indeed. (NSFW Language: You might want to wear headphones or close your office door for this one.)
7. CaddyShack
"IT'S IN THE HOLE!!" -- Too bad some idiot co-opted Carl Spackler's quote and made it "GET IN THE HOLE!" whenever Tiger Woods was about to shoot.
8. The Sandlot
"You're killing me, Smalls!" -- This might be the most-used catchphrase in the history of ever.
9. Chariots of Fire
"I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." - Many people could say the same thing about what their best talent makes them feel like.
10. Major League
"Juuuuuuuuuuuuust a bit outside." -- Bob Uecker's character, announcer Harry Doyle, makes me crack up every time I hear his play-by-play of Ricky Vaughn's first pitch. (NSFW Language: You might want to wear headphones or close your office door for this one)
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Kathy Griffin might think her life is on the D-List, but unfortunately the comedian's talk show is no longer even listed. After two seasons Bravo is canceling the late night show, TV Line reports. Griffin made the announcement while performing in Cincinnati on Friday night.
The Suddenly Susan star got her first foray into reality television with her show, My Life On The D-List — which ran for five years — but the format of her new show relied heavily on the star's stand-up as well as her friends and family (who made regular appearances on the show). The chat show was unable to garner the ratings it needed — despite getting picked up for a second season — and was only four months into season two.
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It's a question Joan Rivers tells us she finds "boring," and it feels almost Seinfeldian in nature, but: What's the deal with the lack of female hosts on late night television?
It's been a few weeks since The New York Times' first reported Jimmy Fallon would replace Jay Leno on The Tonight Show, a story NBC confirmed Wednesday. And in that time, nary a woman has been mentioned in any serious context as Fallon's possible Late Night replacement. Certainly, there are plenty of talented ladies funny enough to replace him — after all, in his former post, the Saturday Night Live actor was often outshined by his female co-stars. (Hello Amy, Tina, Maya, and Rachel!) Still, with Seth Meyers as the only frontrunner, not one female's name has been brought up as a legitimate successor. Because late night is a total sausagefest.
And it has been since its inception. With very few exception, only men have been allowed to stay up late. Johnny Carson ruled the Tonight Show circuit for a whopping 30 years, with personalities like Jack Paar, Steve Allen, Tom Snyder, Joey Bishop, Dick Cavett, Merv Griffin, Arsenio Hall, Chevy Chase, Craig Kilborn, and even non-comedians Pat Sajak and Carson Daly all trying out the genre. And that's not even considering the men currently on air. With so many late night opportunities given out over the last half a century, the gender gap is a serious mind-boggler.
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So what's to blame? The fact that late night doesn't allow women to be themselves. Whereas male comedians are allowed to embrace their own style of humor for late night, female comedians are forced to change — to fit into a mold made up of the contradicting ideas about what we want from our late night hosts versus what we want from our women. History proves the genre has favored commercial male comedians to anything else — funny, class-clown types whose senses of humor are inoffensive enough to make them the everymen. Which is why folks like Fallon, Kimmel, and Leno flourish post-primetime. But when you look at some of the industry's most popular female comedians — Rivers, Kathy Griffin, Chelsea Handler, Roseanne Barr, Margaret Cho, Phyllis Diller, Sarah Silverman — one consistent unifier is evident: These are some bold and brassy broads. Just like Wanda Sykes, Mo'Nique, and Whitney Cummings — all women who failed on late night after failing to stay true to their comedy.
But bold and brassy is exactly what we need. We need to see different viewpoints, strong identities, and, yes, we need to be a little bit offended from time to time. In order to stand out in comedy — an industry that has long favored men — female comedians need to be tough and aggressive, traits that often end up bleeding into their comedy styles. (With, obviously, a few low-key exceptions, like Maria Bamford.) But to be a brash and opinionated woman on television is putting yourself in very sticky territory: loud, confident, opinionated women not only struggle to fit in with the mild late night comedy scene, but they also counter a female stereotype that still exists even years after women's suffrage. "Let me tell you, all women comedians, we are strong and we are lion tamers — and don’t you ever forget it," Rivers says. "We can have three little bows in our hair and [be] wearing six-inch heels, [but] we’re still lion tamers. And we go in there and we take over, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to do stand-up."
The trouble is, as Fallon and Leno's success has proven, network audiences don't want to even see lions. They want cubs. And who better to sit in the late night position than the people we're already comfortable seeing in power: middle-aged white dudes. As Robert J. Thompson, founding director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture and Trustee Professor of Television and Popular Culture at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at at Syracuse University, says, "When you go down the line — especially the major players — there’s a couple of categories that link them. And those categories are 'White' [and] 'Men.'"
And, hoo boy, is he right. There's Leno, Fallon, and Daly on NBC, Jimmy Kimmel on ABC, with David Letterman and Craig Ferguson rounding out the pack at CBS. The biggest male outlier before the 2010 late night clusterf**k was Conan O'Brien, and that's really just because he's a ginger. Channel surf your way through the networks after 11 PM, and the only women you'll see will be sitting in late night's audiences. Cable, on the other hand, has been far more risky and female-friendly, but suffers from an already overcrowded late night field, with Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, Russell Brand, W. Kamau Bell, and O'Brien yucking it up after dark. That's a lot of competition. "A lot of women have been given a chance," Rivers tells Hollywood.com. "The ones that are good are going to stick."
But, so far, few have. Whereas Handler and Griffin have found success on E! and Bravo with Chelsea Lately and Kathy*, respectively, Wanda Sykes, Mo'Nique, Whoopi Goldberg, Rivers, and Whitney Cummings are among those who have been given a late night opportunity... only to watch it slip right through their fingers. And while MTV is attempting to strike comedy gold with its female-fronted-but-faltering Nikki And Sara Show, but as Thompson puts it, "It's different when you get put into a cable show versus when you’re put into The Tonight Show."
*One day after publication, Bravo canceled Kathy.
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And while the differences between cable and network are many, the genre still largely necessitates its women to change. Many reviews and reactions to Cummings and Mo'Nique's shows focus on the hosts' penchant for yelling — a kneejerk, low-brow humor trope that should admittedly be banished from any sort of regular use in comedy, period. (And that includes everyone, and Especially you, Dane Cook.) One fan review of The Mo'Nique Show laments about the change from a woman who "called you a b**ch and made you laugh at the same time" to someone whose "gushing over the guest and screaming 'yeeeeeees!' like a fake a$$ Oprah." Mo'Nique's noticeable change in appearance (a slimmer frame and shaved legs — something the comedian was quite vocal about not changing in the past), only proved to further disappoint fans who felt the strong-willed funnywoman wouldn't jump through such standard hoops in order to earn success. Sacrifice is always par for the course — but shouldn't come with a cost that compromises their very essence.
Cummings' stand-up routine is often described as transgressive — making jokes about sex, relationships, and the female body are run-of-the-mill topics for her. When placed on stage during Love You, Mean It, we saw a different Cummings. One that the production team felt a need to temper with the presence of her male sidekick, comedian Julian McCullough. While the thought is not an unwelcome one (a show co-hosted by a male/female duo has the potential for greatness), McCullough's presence came across as a way to reel Cummings back into what the show was really about: popular culture and entertainment. So why hire a female comedian whose jokes are primarily about love and relationships, to host a show about pop culture and entertainment? Just because she's a pretty face and a funny woman? Being female isn't a magical band-aid big enough to fix that sort of oversight.
That's not to say late night is an easy role for men either: Just recall the criticism Fallon faced during his first season on Late Night, which was far less refined than O'Brien's well-oiled machine. (Insert "oiled" and "masturbating bear" joke here.) Between the host's perma-laughter and doesn't-translate-to-TV jokes, viewers were calling for his head just episodes in. But the network maintained its faith in the comedian (thanks, no doubt, to comedy TV godfather, Lorne Michaels) and, after a season-and-a-half of Internet-friendly content, Fallon was at the top of his game, winning the Tonight Show gig a mere four years into his late night career.
But Fallon was lucky enough to be given enough time to work out Late Night's kinks. Not only was O'Brien canned less than a year after moving to Tonight — and less than one year after man fans criticized Coco's newly toned-down humor — but the women of late night haven't received much time come into their own, either. In a review of Cummings' show on E!'s Love You, Mean It, writer David Wiegand wielded a critique of Cummings' show that stated "...no one seems to laugh more loudly at Whitney’s humor than Whitney herself," something that rings eerily similar to criticism lobbed at Fallon in his early days. But Cummings' show was — you guessed it! — canceled after its first season.
In fact, of all the female-fronted late night shows, only two have lasted more than a season. Hardly seems fair, does it? Such disparities can be chalked up to the difference between what major networks can afford versus cable or the talent selection. Network executives may be simply picking the wrong women for what they want. Just look at critical response to anything Cummings seems to do. Or even Sykes' stint staying up late — though many were polarized by her bold comedic style, more people disliked the dialed-down, TV-friendly spin she put on her own late night series. To find the lowest-common denominators and risqué acts to prop up (and tone down) as tributes to the late night Hunger Games is practically asking for them to be weeded out early on. "In schools, boys tend to be rewarded for being the class clown more than girls," states Thompson. "Those kind of gender roles — even as we go generations into the women’s movement — a lot of that stuff is still, surprisingly, in tact ... If NBC had replaced Leno not with Fallon, but if they had chosen a really good female comedian, that woman would've had a real struggle, because I do think the genre, the formula of late night television, is so macho."
It's no surprise women often have to struggle to even get recognized in the first place. "I think, in general, truly — women are never looked at, primarily, as somebody funny," Rivers says. "Nobody’s ever quoted me a joke that Kate Moss did. So women already have that hurdle to go over, because they don’t ever think any woman is ... funny. And I don’t know if men want a woman that is, really. To this day. I do, all my friends are hilariously funny women. But we’re women with women. I think men just want you to be gorgeous. And available. I still believe that basically that’s really all they want from you."
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Listen, the concept of women as funny beings is debated ad nauseum. It's a stupid conversation that isn't worth having, full stop. But, as Thompson puts it, "To say 'Oh, this many women have tried and failed at late night comedy' — I don’t think we can draw the conclusion that that means women just can’t do this, or even that they were the wrong women; there are so many other variables there. When they were on, how much it was marketed, whether it was a cable channel or syndication — all those kind of things play into it."
That's not to say there haven't been some successes — even in the perceived failures. Rivers was a longtime guest host on Johnny Carson's iteration of The Tonight Show, and her ratings were often higher than Carson's. It's no wonder she was rumored to be in the running to replace him once he decided to retire. But in 1986, FOX came a-knocking and offered Rivers her own show. Naturally, she said yes. "I was the first, first permanent guest hostess on the Carson show, which is unprecedented," she says. "It was never done before in history — between me and 6,000 men. And they picked me."
When Rivers did go off the air less than one year later, it was for personal reasons, not ratings. But the conflict had little to do with her as a person — according to the comedian, the men at the top (including Rupert Murdoch and Barry Diller) did not get along. "I was told by them, 'The tail does not wag the dog,'" she says. "I was told that on a Thursday and we were off air on a Friday."
But, strangely, whereas Cummings and Mo'Nique have struck out with toned-down humor, bigger personalities have performed well in cable's late night arena. Taking a look at the women who have succeeded — namely Handler and Griffin — one thing connects them: They are who they are. No one is toning down Handler's schtick, and Griffin is still doing the same snarky, celeb-obsessed routine on her show that she does on stage. They perform well because they refuse to be anything but what they are — and it works. Right talent, right network. It was no doubt a challenge for them to reach the levels of success they have, but the pay-off has been obvious. To steal a phrase from The West Wing's Leo McGarry: it's time to let Bartlet be Bartlet. Let the ladies be the comedians that made them popular to begin with. "Their humor has balls," Thompson says. "[Griffin and Handler are] females, but they're almost working in that aggressive — what we think of as male — humor, even though that’s a very sexist thing to say." Sexism in Hollywood? No! You don't say.
But with a brawnier choice at the helm, could we find a late-night Katniss of our own? Perhaps, but it won't necessarily be easy for her, either. "People don’t want to see women in that position, even though we all know Cleopatra ruled the roost, and we all know that Marie Antoinette made the decisions," Rivers says. "[But] things have changed tremendously for women. When a woman is good, that's it: the door is open to her much more." Which brings us back to late night poster children Handler and Griffin, again. When it's right, and the metaphorical stars align (right network, right time, right show) it's just so right.
But there is still much work to be done when it comes to changing society's opinions even further. All women must push past expectations consistently and without fear. Step forth, funny ladies, and claim your throne.
For Rivers, her choice is simple: "Tina Fey — give her the job and let’s all go home." Sorry, Tina, looks like you're still the catch-all answer for the way society wants women to do comedy. But we're hopeful that it won't be for long.
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