4 Tips For Overcoming Life’s Most Traumatic Experiences

Wouldn’t it be great if our
most difficult days came with Hollywood-happy endings?

In the movies, when faced
with the worst possible situations, our heroes rise to the occasion and find
strength they never knew they had. But those who experience real-life traumas
are just as likely to end up questioning their faith in God, their family and
themselves.The scars, both physical and
emotional, may never completely heal. And it can take years to find “meaning”
from it all.

Even those who seem equipped
to handle the worst – because of their religious beliefs or strong family and
community connections – can find themselves questioning everything. “There certainly are difficult
lessons to learn when your life is suddenly turned upside down,” says Susan
Mattern, author of “Out of the Lion’s Den: A Little Girl’s Mountain Lion
Attack, A Mother’s Search for Answers” (www.outofthelionsden.net).

In 1986, while Mattern, her
husband and their two children were hiking in Casper’s Wilderness Park in
Orange County, California, a mountain lion grabbed her 5-year-old daughter,
Laura, and disappeared. By the time she was found and rescued, Laura had been
severely mauled. She survived, but lost the use of her right hand and the
vision in one eye. She had severe brain injuries, and her life hung in the
balance for weeks.

Mattern, a former nun,
struggled with guilt, anger, stress and frustration as she fought to help her
daughter recover – and to hold the county accountable when she learned the
staff knew there were mountain lions in the park but hadn’t warned visitors.

In the decade after the
attack, she lost her religious faith, but came out of the experience with a new
kind of happiness and fulfillment.

Mattern has these tips for
those battling to come back after a life-changing trauma:

Have
faith in yourself. If you don’t believe in a
higher power, or if you lose your religious faith, you can find your own
meaning in life. “It was very difficult to give up my beliefs,” she says.
“But instead of a vast emptiness where God used to be, there is caring,
love and friendship.”

Have
more than one focus. Mattern’s primary goal was
helping her daughter get well, but the family also spent years battling
Orange County in court. “The trial took up so much of our life, and that
was a good thing in many ways,” she says. “It gave us another purpose.”

If
you can’t find courage within yourself, look to those you love. Decades
after her daughter’s attack, Mattern still is in awe of her friends; her
husband, Don; and her daughter’s rescuers, doctors and legal team. But she
draws the most strength from Laura, who isn’t bitter and lives an
independent and fulfilling life.

Don’t
expect to draw lessons from the experience right away. You
may need to wait for the lessons to become apparent. It will take time and
painful reflection, but it’s worth it, Mattern says. “It would be so
depressing to go through all of this, only to learn nothing and have done
nothing.” She realized, after years of searching, that the meaning of life
was right in front of her – in her family, and the love she shared with
family and friends.

Mattern says that after Laura
grew into a young woman they were looking at a book that posed the question: If
you could change one day in your life, which day would it be?Mattern thought the choice
was obvious. Laura disagreed.

“That day changed all of us,
I know,” she told her mother. “But I wouldn’t have become the person I am
today, and we wouldn’t have cared for each other as much as we do, or have such
a wonderful family. No, I would leave that day just like it was.”

About Susan Mattern

Susan Mattern, author of “Out
of the Lion’s Den” (www.outofthelionsden.net),
grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, and was a nun for six years before moving to
California, where she met and married her husband, Don. They have two children,
David and Laura. In 1986, Laura was attacked by a mountain lion in an Orange
County park, and the family spent years helping her recover and fighting the
county in court.