If I fail to post something on Facebook every morning and every night, there are three possibilities:

1. I got drunk, and Lord only knows where I am. But I haven’t taken more than a sip of wine in at least 10 years, so this is unlikely.

2. I have been injured, killed, or taken hostage. This is very likely. The likely perpetrator could be Sean Boushie, someone hired to do it, or someone with law enforcement.

3. I am in a jail somewhere. Now I’ve never been in jail, and I don’t commit crimes, but I absolutely believe that these folks here could make up anything and everything.

Only one person knows where I am staying. That person is a regular poster on Facebook, and I am sending a Facebook message with the name and address of where I am staying. I would like someone to come and get my possessions. The place I am staying knows what is going on, and they will have notes in their computer as to what to do if I disappear.

I no longer have a family, so one of you guys will probably need to come here to try to bail me out or make funeral arrangements, or whatever.