Top Ten Tips For Dressing For Dating Success

Groom from the inside out

I don’t care how hard you’ve worked, how little time you have, and bla, bla, bla, there is absolutely no excuse for lacking in personal hygiene and grooming. Your date doesn’t think “Oh…poor thing, they’re so busy” they just think “Hmmm, not a great first impression”.

This means that you should be clean smelling (don’t put deodorant or perfume over sweat or other dubious body odors), snowflake free (I know that people have dandruff but you don’t need to wear it like a shawl over your shoulder), teeth brushed, breath checked, and bogeys cleaned out of your nose.

To tan or not to tan

If you want to bronze up for your date, I’d steer clear of looking like an Oompa Loompa. Go for your tan the day before so that you don’t rock up to your date looking like a lobster or being in so much pain from sunburn that you can’t enjoy yourself.

Heaven help your poor date when you douse yourself in so much scent that you can be smelt in outer space. A dash of scent is a lot better than eye wateringly, nose bleeding, brain wrenching levels of scent. If you need to take off your makeup with a trowel, it’s too much! Wear the appropriate amount of makeup for the date

Dress your breasts

I’m pleased that you’re proud of your breasts whether they’re real or fake, but if I had a pound for every woman who ever complained about guys spending half the date staring at their breasts, I’d be sitting back counting my cash instead of writing this.

If you don’t want your breasts to be the focal point don’t make them the center of attention by not leaving very much to the imagination. That doesn’t mean cover up like a nun but if your top is something closer to a nipple cover, or you might as well not have bothered with a top at all, you’re wearing too little!

Make. An. Effort

I don’t mean turn up looking like the dog’s dinner in black tie (unless this is actually the dress code) but if you roll up looking like you literally rolled up, you send a very clear message that you are lazy and that you don’t care about what your date thinks of you. This means wear clean clothes, don’t be full of creases or rumples, and basically look like you tried.

Wear clothes that fit

There is nothing worse than finding yourself on a date in too tight shoes, crotch strangling trousers or even worse camel toe, waist pinching attire that only gets tighter the more that you eat, or clothes that make you look like you have a few tires hidden underneath.

It’s not just because it’s more flattering when you wear clothes that fit; it’s actually a hell of a lot more comfortable. Do you really want to be sitting there being petrified of standing up and revealing that you’re literally letting it all hang out? Oh and be careful of trying out new shoes. I have enough experience of barely being able to walk to know that you should not let the date be their first outing.

Knickers, Knickers, Knickers

It’s not sexy when you show your thong so don’t parade it and keep baring string and bum! Likewise, knicker lines or visible panty lines depending on how bad they are can actually ruin the line of your outfit.

Be careful of flashing as well which tends to happen if you wear things that are literally skimming your crotch…

Easy on the excess body hair

Although this falls under grooming, it needs a place of it’s own. I’m not talking about a bikini wax or sorting the ‘ole back, sack, and crack… This is more for the ladies but unless you know your target audience, I’m not sure that visible hairy armpits should join you on the date. Likewise, if you have really obvious leg hair, wear trousers!

Dress to impress

Even if you have to go straight from work, jazz up your outfit with a different top or shirt, change your shoes, remove a jacket and look like someone who wants to create the first impression. Don’t wear a tracksuit (unless your date is at the gym) and do try to inject a bit of color rather than looking like you’re off to a funeral. Jeans are a very safe bet as they go with a hell of a lot things and can be dressed up or down.