Over the decades, the first-person shooter genre has grown to become the commercial colossus of the gaming industry, with games like Doom, Half-Life, Goldeneye, and Halo shaping the genre to what it is today. But ever since Call of Duty came in to town, society’s look on what a true FPS is has never been the same. And it’s about time someone took the time to make fun of that.

Quickscope Simulatorwas introduced to me by PewDiePie, who made a video for the game back in late June–if you can even call this thing a game. The pleasure and humor of this game comes from the vanilla algorithm of obnoxious (and quite loud) Call of Duty montage videos featuring people that get so excited they blow out their speakers over every kill they get. KnowYourMeme refers to this as “the 420 MLG montage“.

In Snipars: The Game, the only thing you can do is perform quickscopes in an assortment of crudely designed maps which are essentially just a collection of similar pictures that create a vague representation of a three-dimensional environment. My attempts at taking panoramas with my iPhone would look like art compared to these maps. And in these vague representations of three-dimensional environments, images slowly grow larger as they get closer, and as you shoot them they disappear in an explosion of spinning text, logos, Doritos, and Mountain Dew cans, all while some screaming kid can be heard in the background. If you’re lucky, you might get a snippet of a song instead.

There are five difficulties, and I will list them from hardest to easiest: “Insane”, “Try Hard”, “Quickscoper”, “Camper”, and “No enemies”. I’m serious, there’s a difficulty with no enemies. Now, there’s no point in trying anything higher than “Camper”, as you will only survive a maximum of 30 seconds, give or take.

If you get a certain amount of kills, you will be rewarded with a killstreak aka a “Care Package”, which includes items that have the sole purpose of taking out everybody on the screen, with some exceptions. The game says that after 50, 200, and 420 kills you get a Package, but from my experience with the game it goes comes randomly after you hit 50 and get your first Package.

With enough kills, you do level up and once you hit a certain level, you unlock a tweak. These tweaks enable stuff like making every enemy Shrek, replacing the explosions of text and images with all Mountain Dew cans/Doritos, playing left-handed, and my personal favorite: the “gotta go fast” mode. In this mode, every enemy is a poorly-drawn Sonic which goes either to the right or the left while simultaneously getting closer to you in a gradual manner. All while a gleefully distorted version of “Green Hill Zone” plays in the background.

That’s pretty much as far as Faze Clan Simulator goes. Quickscoping enemies so you can see bunches of text and hear a funny sound. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about the multitude of vague representations of three-dimensional environments found in this game. They include such maps as…

“Kush Town“, a quickscopified version of the Call of Duty map Nuketown

“Minekush“, where you can quickscope Steves and Creepers in suits (as well as other stuff)

“Green Dank Zone“, where if the gameplay does not amuse you, you can also be amused by the poorly-drawn Sonics spinning wildly in the background

“Untitled” – This level literally has no title, and is also inspired by Giygas (I pronounce it “geegis”), the villainous entity from the legendary, amazing, and downright classic SNES game Earthbound

“Highjacked” – Quickscope enemies on a conveniently abandoned boat

“Shrek’s Swamp” – A class all on its own

Enough funny talk aside, is the game good?

If you enjoy Youtubers like Snipars and Vagabonds who have “420 MLG montages” in their DNA, you will probably love this game. If you’re a Call of Duty fan–heck, a fan of the FPS genre in general, you might get a kick out of the sort of parodic madness this game has to offer. Similarly, you might think the game is stupid and immature, and I will understand where you’re coming from if you do believe this. As of me, I think the game serves no better purpose than killing time or having a good laugh at it. I would never actually play this game for hours at a time like I would with a game on my Xbox. Besides the extra modes that will keep you entertained for a maximum of 5 minutes, there’s not much that Quickscope Simulator provides besides–well, quickscoping. And loud funny noises. And logos. And explosions of text.

Final rating: 5 headshots out of 10

You can download the Call of Duty Snoop Dogg DLC here in its latest version. Check it out, leave a comment if you like the game, and until next time, folks…stay classy, and perfect those quickscopes.

Now, ever since the eighth generation of gaming began with the big brawl between the PS4 and the Xbox One while the Wii U kind of just sat in the corner, there has been two words that have spread like wildfire.

“Next gen”. As in “next generation”, as in “the future of video games as we have already established them”.

Big triple-A titles like Titanfall and Watch Dogs being pampered with crazy amounts of hype at E3 only to be released to polarization and backlash from the audience have gotten me to think about what these games have in common.

I started to analyze their aesthetics, and I then realized one thing.

They are all trying to live up to the “next gen” title by means of visual appeal, in trailers or promos or just general footage that is being shown to the public.

And this perfectly describes the new Mortal Kombat X teaser that just dropped.

(Warning: Graphic content because, you know, it’s Mortal Kombat.)

With their 2011 reboot, Mortal Kombat pulled off an excellent recovery from the wholly disappointing Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe. (The game actually managed to get a T rating, and I’ll leave it at that.) Rumors about a tenth MK game had been surfacing from as early as last year’s SDCC, with one of the producers of the web series MK Legacy saying that there were plans to release this game alongside an MK movie. Back in February, Kiefer Sutherland of 24 fame claimed to be in on it. The game’s poster was leaked, and rumors continued about stuff like it having a completely original story. I’ll just assume it goes somewhere on the arc, whether it be in the original trilogy, the middle, or after the events of the reboot.

However, everything was just a possibility until the game finally received an official announcement, with a little two-minute teaser to accompany it (see above). The teaser does literally nothing more than tell you that the game exists. That is it. No character reveals, nothing about the story, not even a “coming soon” or anything.

It’s Sub-Zero and Scorpion fighting in a wintry forest to Wiz Khalifa. That is a sentence I never thought I would type. The trailer also frequently alters between “next gen” cinematics and what could possibly be actual gameplay, although it still has the cinematic tint to it, so I highly doubt that’ll be the final look. At the very least, it is shown that x-ray moves will be returning. Yay.

I thought trailers were supposed to entice people into watching the movie/playing the game that it sponsored. At the very least, it should help make some sort of decision. You can use actual game footage or use cinematics/live-action/CG to at least set the atmosphere and tone of the game. The Dead Island trailer (also pretty graphic) was hailed for the sheer amount of emotion that it portrayed and its subtle ways of explaining the game. (And it is absolutely crushing that when compared to the trailer, the game was so meh.)

If you enjoy fancy graphics and good old-fashioned violence, then you might like the MKX teaser. If you want to find anything out about the game, don’t bother. Hopefully, the game will get some more light shone on it when it debuts at E3 this year, and as of now it’s scheduled for a release sometime next year for the PC and all next-gen/past-gen Playstation and Xbox consoles.

“Leaving Earth” from Mass Effect 3 - After having Jack Wall as composer for the first two Mass Effect games, for the third game an entirely new composing team led by Clint Mansell (who’s done scoring work on Black Swan, among others) was introduced. The majority of people were polarized, thinking that Mansell’s work would be inferior to Wall’s legacy. Then came this. A brass-knuckled wallop of raw emotion right into the haters’ faces. Or their ears, I suppose.

“Adventure” from Fez - This game was one of the biggest indie hits since Minecraft became an overnight cultural phenomenon. Never have I listened to a chiptune song that has made my heart feel so nostalgic and warm. Now I feel like snuggling up in bed with a teddy bear, a turkey sandwich, and a warm glass of milk, while watching the sun set.

“Mice on Venus” from Minecraft - What a convenient transition. This song actually took me–heck, the prospect of Minecraft having an OST took me by surprise. There’s nothing playing for the majority of the game, so when my friend and I played the Xbox edition, I was taken aback by the sheer beauty of the tracks. This is probably one of my favorites. It (or something like it) would be playing while the sun rose and it was the most amazing feeling of my life.

“Simian Segue” from Donkey Kong Country - As I’ve said before, this is my favorite game on the Super Nintendo and one of my favorite games of all time. It’s not just the gameplay and the visuals (even though they’re both stellar), but the soundtrack by Dave Wise is killer. And here we have the absolute most infectious menu music of all time. Sure, compared to the atmospheric qualities of “Jungle Groove” (the iconic de facto theme song for the series) it’s just decent, but this song is bound to get your head bobbing, or your toes tapping, or something.

“Prince Fleaswallow” from Parappa the Rapper - A quirky rhythm and nonsensical lines like “I’ve been working here since my mama was a baby” add to the surreal charm that this game provided. Probably when I go to a flea market now, this song will be echoing in the back of my head. It also goes without mentioning that it really sounds like this guy’s on…something. What does he sell again?

“The Concept of Love” from Jet Set Radio Future - All I can say about this song is that it just embodies the feeling of rebellion, and gets stuck in your head really quickly. The grit that you can just feel throughout the song is a perfect accompaniment to the high-speed action within the game.

“Fiesta de los Muertos” from Rayman Legends - This is one of the greatest games I’ve played in months, considering my gaming schedule went from regular and finely stretched to compressed into little clumps. And I spent one of those little clumps playing this game. Much like Dave Wise as mentioned above, Christophe Heral (who composed this game) knows what he’s doing when it comes to setting the proper music for the proper times. While the music’s awesome on its own, playing the level that it corresponds with and listening to it makes the experience five times better. Still a great song, though.

“Peril” from Halo 2 - This song’s been with me for a while, despite me having no memory of playing the actual game. When I uploaded this some time ago on my Tumblr, I described it as something along these lines. “This song is playing while I’m smoking a cigar, gunning someone down with one hand and slitting another’s throat with the other. In slow motion. In a burning building.”

“Sign of the Colossus” from Shadow of the Colossus - Even to this day, this game is highly acclaimed and revered for its powers to bind gameplay and music to create groundbreaking aesthetics never seen before in any prior gaming experiences. From the instruments that jump in and fade out ominously to the excellently jarring piano, this song could probably epitomize the game. That is, if every track didn’t stand out on its own already.

“Mine, Windbag, and Mine” from Bastion - A highlight off of a critically acclaimed OST. A very vast soundscape that starts out mellow and acoustic but then gets energetic, building up steadily and getting gradually more awesome as the song continues. The appropriate sound effects of metallic clangs in the background add to the atmosphere.

This is by all means a milestone for me, considering I’ve never put so much effort and energy into a single thing ever.

Along the way we hit 100,000 hits, which was an even bigger achievement for me. Even now, I receive comments from people who sincerely enjoy my content. If my site statistics are right, I’m getting viewership from all around the world.

After my little hiatus last year leading into this year, I decided to dust off the old keyboard and whip up two posts that I put up back in April. But those two posts probably required the most work I’ve ever had to put into this blog, and I started to think about the future of the blog. Whether it would still be getting traffic, and how long it could be until it loses its sliver of limelight.

For a while, I thought about deleting the site as a whole and putting it behind me.

But that would put four years of hard work down the drain, never to be seen again.

I would blog more frequently, but school and personal obstacles are more often than not the reason behind my diminishing post frequency.

I remember back in 2010, when I was just surfing the Internet.

And I found an opportunity to make a blog right then and there.

And I took it and never let go.

I made an average of 5-10 posts a day with zero knowledge of blog etiquette, but still.

That is why I’m making this update.

I’m not saying Sammwak is over or anything.

I’m just sort of re-birthing it.

It’ll be an entirely new blog.

But not in the sense that I’m going to start talking about a brand new topic like fashion or nature.

It’ll still be the games and books and movies and videos that I started with.

Let’s try once a month, if I can keep up with that.

Maybe I’ll shave it down to once every other week.

Or I’ll just be usual and have a sporadic, unpredictable uploading schedule.

Remember when Spongebob Squarepants used to be the greatest cartoon of all time? During its golden age from seasons 1-3, it was acclaimed for its fresh humor and nostalgic elements, while also remembering that it was underwater and therefore having its own aquatic take on human society. It was–and kind of still is–one of the most iconic televised series of all time, and has received notable recognition within pop culture to this today. Everyone and their grandma remembers the “FUN Song”.

Now currently in season ten or eleven, SBSP has seen what people call one of the biggest quality declines of all time. The show seemed to start losing its flow in season four, and stuff started to get serious by seasons 5 and 6. It seemed to get more disturbing as it went on to the point where it wrings jokes out of nothing, and actually makes situations the complete opposite of laughable. Take the notorioustoenail scene from “House Fancy” (a season six episode), for example. Even in the midst of this, the show tries to hit us with what we were already hit with so many years ago. The biggest connection between the two eras are nonessential callbacksto the show’s heyday. Long-time fans will say that the new SBSP lacks the charm that made the old SBSP such a hit.

And with declining quality comes declining ratings. Despite the show’s ongoing popularity, the show took a shocking dip in 2012, with a 29% drop in the number of kids aged 2-11 watching the show, according to Nielsen. Another popular theory is that the show collapsed due to show creator Stephen Hillenburg resigning and leaving the show in the hands of creative director Derek Drymon, which spawned a legion of new writers and crew members that tinkered with the show to unbelievable extents, doing something that TV Tropes calls “flanderization“.

Try imagining that scene where Spongebob and Patrick get drunk off of ice cream, looped for years on end, episode after episode, forever (or until the show ends, whichever comes first).In the end, despite how the writers are clearly starting to get dry on their ideas, SBSP might have a sliver of hope to redeem itself and bring back some good stuff. Maybe we’ll see Sandy again. Maybe an episode will go by without anything disturbing. Only time will tell.What do you think? Is Spongebob truly past its prime? Leave a comment about it.Also, make sure to follow my Tumblr at http://www.prince-of-limbs.tumblr.com. WARNING: Not for moralists.——————-Authorities:https://sites.google.com/site/tria1andfai1ur3/over-analysis/oa-tv-shows/spongebob-decline-in-qualityhttp://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepantshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SpongeBob_SquarePants——————-Stay classy,~S~]]>https://sammwak.wordpress.com/2014/04/26/is-spongebob-past-its-prime/feed/0sammwakImageImageImageWhat 2014 Has In Storehttps://sammwak.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/what-2014-has-in-store/
https://sammwak.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/what-2014-has-in-store/#commentsMon, 06 Jan 2014 21:49:23 +0000http://sammwak.wordpress.com/?p=3928]]>Happy new year, merry late Christmas, happy really late Thanksgiving, and happy super late Halloween. Yeah, I’ve been kind of disappearing when it comes to blogging recently, but I just haven’t had the time to get on posting when I start having the craving to make comics and I have to get my creativity flowing and it just takes a while. Luckily, I’m back in time for the break of 2014, and let’s see what it has to offer.

……………………………..

Let’s look at some movies.

Ride Along- What you’d get if you took Friday, turned it into another cheesy action comedy, and replaced Chris Tucker with Kevin Hart. (1/17/14)

I, Frankenstein- Rebooting the story of Frankenstein for a new generation, and now we have Harvey Dent as Frankenstein. (1/24/14)

The Lego Movie- You don’t need to check your monitor, this actually exists. And the trailer looks surprisingly epic. And the roster is pretty impressive–if you consider Channing Tatum, Will Ferrell, and Jonah Hill to collectively be “impressive”. (2/7/14)

Muppets Most Wanted- The Muppets go touring in Europe, and the most wanted criminal in the world happens to look just like Kermit. You can connect the dots. (3/21/14)

Divergent- The movie of the book. It’s the future, Chicago is split into five factions, Tris takes a test, she doesn’t fit into a faction cuz she’s Divergent, she discovers something sinister happening in her utopian society, blah blah blah. It has a budget bigger than that of The Hunger Games, so it better be worth its hype. (3/21/14)

Noah- Basically, when God was unsatisfied with the world and tried to bring apocalypse to it and Noah built that ark for all that animals: the movie. Just as it was told in the Bible. Oh, and Emma Watson shows up. (3/28/14)

Rio 2- Apparently people liked that movie, and it looks like the same movie except it’s in the Amazon and we learn that Jewel has a dad and–incoming narrative hook–his habitat is in danger! “Le gasp” indeed. (4/11/14)

The Amazing Spider Man 2- Electro and the Rhino. The only new things about this sequel. (5/2/14)

Legend of Oz: Dorothy’s Return- This movie tries to add something new to something that’s already perfect. Five new characters (a giant talking marshmallow, a china doll, a “tree-turned tugboat”, and an owl), and the biggest threat is that some Jester is going to turn iconic Ozzians (that’s what it’s called right?) into marionettes. Really? (5/9/14)

Godzilla- Finally, something that looks good. Godzilla ’98 was the Razzie-winning black sheep of the series (the only thing it got right was its visuals, and I think they screwed even that up), but luckily this cream looks big enough and strong enough to cover that nasty zit. Anyway, this movie is Godzilla vs. malevolent creatures “bolstered by humanity’s scientific arrogance”. Does this mean another Pacific Rim, or is this a metaphor saying that it’s Godzilla vs the real monsters–us? (5/16/14, which is two months earlier than Japan. Oh, the irony.)

Maleficent- A Sleeping Beauty prequel-reboot combo through the eyes of the bad guy. This is new. And what’s this, they cast Angelina Jolie as Maleficent? And what’s this…they made Sleeping Beauty a teenager? Uh… (5/30/14)

The Fault In Our Stars- The classic love story between a teen girl with thyroid cancer and an ex-basketball player who lost his right leg to osteosarcoma gets adapted to the big screen. It’s a freaking maple tree, it looks so sappy. (6/6/14)

How To Train Your Dragon2- I didn’t know you could Neville Longbottom so much in four years. (That’s right, it’s a verb now describing drastic changes in courage and heroism over time.) Anyway, Hiccup took a few levels in badbutt and new adventures with him and Toothless await. (6/13/14)

Transformers: Age of Extinction- It’s an entirely new arc and it stars an entirely new cast, so can you blame me for throwing it under the bus immediately? If it grosses over a billion, I will lose faith in the sci-fi action genre forever. (6/27/14)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- Caesar and his boys vs. the survivors of the virus. The prize? Supremacy as the dominant species of the world. (7/11/14)

The Boxtrolls- From the guys who brought you those scary stop-motion movies (Paranorman and Coraline) comes another seemingly-not-scary stop-motion movie where underground trash collectors called Boxtrolls who raised an orphan who now has to save them from an exterminator. What. (9/26/14)

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day- I don’t even have to explain this. If you said you didn’t read that book as a kid, I wouldn’t believe you for a second. (10/10/14)

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1- Katniss leads the districts in a rebellion against the Capitol and has to make a lot of crucial decisions as the war of fate escalates quickly with horrific consequences. (11/21/14)

Home- I can’t believe what I’m about to type. They made a movie on The True Meaning of Smekday with Sheldon Cooper, Rihanna, Steve Martin, and they even got J.Lo! No, the real J.Lo! Words cannot express my elation. (11/26/14)

Exodus- Basically when all the Jews left Egypt and Moses led them: the movie. Just as recalled in the Bible (or The Prince of Egypt). In this case, all the Jews leave Egypt and Christian Bale leads them. Uh… (12/12/14)

The Hobbit: There and Back Again- Didn’t think the end of the Bilbo arc would be so near, would it? (12/17/14)

Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Z- 2012’s DBZ for Kinect was an embarrassment to the game series, so Namco Bandai wants to try to redeem themselves. If you liked Zenkai Battle Royale, the game mechanics aren’t too different. With a redundant name like that, it could very much be digging its own grave. (1/28/14; PS3, X360, Vita)

Lighting Returns: Final Fantasy XIII- This game picks up where XIII-2 left off and ties up the loose ends of XIII‘s story, part of the Fabula Nova Crystallis subseries later to feature the mobile Agito as well as FFXV. (2/11/14; PS3, X360)

Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare- This is the strangest art shift I’ve ever seen in anything. Looks to be an interesting shooter. (2/18/14; XBO, X360)

Thief- Master thief Garrett popularized the stealth genre just as well as Solid Snake could, and now he’s getting a reboot. However, it risks mimicking the already successful Dishonored, so let’s hope it has some fresh tricks up their sleeve. (2/25/14; PC, PS3, PS4, X360, XBO)

South Park: The Stick of Truth- South Park has already made a huge mark on American animated television, helping codify the raunchy, off-color adult humor that we see in most animated sitcoms. Among many people, I first got a taste of the game via Game Informer, and it seems to be the RPG of the year…if it doesn’t get delayed again. (3/4/14; PC, PS3, X360)

Titanfall- Fast-paced action, cloud services, and robots. It’s not surprising that the game had a huge splash at E3 and won sixty awards at the show! People are already saying it’ll be the next big landmark in the FPS genre, and be the secret weapon for the One. Wait…it’s multiplayer-only? Uh… (3/11/14; PC, X360, XBO)

Dark Souls II- Dark Souls did pretty good a couple years ago, and this sequel appears to be just as hard. The game boasts a juicier graphics engine and better AI, and it might not even have an easy mode. So if you don’t like hard games, step away. But if you like challenges, be my guest. (3/11/14; PC, PS3, X360)

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes- To hold you off until Phantom Pain, Konami has the first half of the MGSV arc for you. This picks up where Peace Walker left off, chronologically one year later and nine years before Phantom Pain. (3/18/14; PS3, PS4, X360, XBO)

Infamous: Second Son- The One has Killer Instinct, and the PS4’s trying to combat that with the new Infamous, with a new character and new twists on old powers. (3/21/14; PS4)

Diablo III: Reaper of Souls- Apparently now Diablo‘s getting into the expansion pack game like Warcraft, and here’s the first of what could be a plentiful add-on series. (3/25/14; PC, Mac, PS4)

Destiny- Bungie’s first post-Halo game, and my most anticipated game of the year. (Plus it’s on 360, so there’s non need to upgrade!) A prosperous period of advancement has screeched to a halt with the Collapse, after which mankind could face extinction. You are one of the survivors, the Guardians of the City, and you must protect the little remains of humanity from demolition. (9/9/14; X360, XBO, PS3, PS4)

Sunset Overdrive- The game’s bouncy visuals and enthralling gameplay put it really high on my most-anticipated list–actually, it’s bested only by Destiny. It’s like Viewtiful Joe in 3D as a shooter. There’s gonna be ziplines and wall-running and even some acrobatics, so I expect some Mirror’s Edge thrown in the puree as well. It’s also gonna be using Microsoft’s cloud services a lot, but I’m not a cloud gamer. Still excited. (sometime; XBO)

The Sims 4- The Sims 3 and its umpteen expansion packs was one of the defining parts of my childhood, so I expect The Sims 4 to be way better. The PC sales of the past three games have been staggering, and I expect nothing less than true brilliance, whether it be better graphics or better mechanics. However, you do need an account on Origin (think EA’s take on Steam) and Internet access as the game initially installs. Kind of chips at my hopes, but it still looks awesome. (Q3/Q4; PC, Mac)

Watch Dogs- I’ve heard about this game for a while, and my thoughts of it have whittled down to “Dishonored with a hacker and none of the cool super powers.” There’s also some parkour promised to show up, and some cover-based TPS stuff too (Hitman much?). And for a game that has five collector’s editions (special, Vigilante, Uplay Exclusive, Limited, and Dedsec), it seems like it’ll match the hype pretty well. (Q2; PC, PS3, PS4, WiiU, X360, XBO)

Most anticipated: Destiny (Sunset Overdrive was a close second)

……………………………………..

Now, some upcoming books.

Hollow City by Ransom Riggs - In the sequel to Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, Jacob and his Welsh homies go to London where all those creepy children are at. Miss P’s bro Caul is able to steal the kids’ “abilities”. Cue another fight for survival. (1/14/14; 352 pgs)

Sorry You’re Lostby Matt Blackstone - Denny “Donuts” Murphy has just suffered the passing of his mom, and to cope with that he becomes a class clown. But in Donuts’ core is a happy place where his mother still lives and his dad doesn’t watch TV all day. Donut and his buddy try to score dates for the year-end dance, a mission in which Donuts learns some important morals that could change him for the better. (1/21/14, 320 pgs)

Almost Super by Marion Jensen - Each leap year at an exact time, each 12+-year old member of the Baileys gets a superpower. The two newest recipients, Rafter and Benny, get let down with suckish powers. The big bad of the story ends up sparking a war between her family and the Baileys. To be honest, I lost them at “superpower”. (1/21/14; 256 pgs)

Cress by Marissa Meyer - In the third entry of the Lunar Chronicles, Cinder and her band of misfits are still plotting to overthrow Queen Levana. Their best hope is to go to Cress, an OP hacker who ironically is searching for them (eeeeviiillll). Stuff happens. (2/4/14; 560 pgs)

Timmy Failure: Now Look What You’ve Done by Stephan Pastis - In the sequel to Mistakes Were Made, there’s a school competition to find a globe for a cash prize, but someone’s trying to hijack. It’s up to Timmy and his polar-bear partner Total and his new eccentric ally Great-Aunt Colander to find an end to the madness. (2/25/14; 288 pgs)

Game Over, Pete Watson by Joe Schreiber and Andy Rash - A boy finds out his dad is a superspy that is trapped inside a game, so he has to use his gaming skills to enter the game and rescue him. To be honest, I lost them at “superspy”. (3/11/14, 224 pgs)

Sean Rosen Is Not For Sale by Jeff Baron - Y’know Sean, that guy who’s trying to pitch a movie idea to Hollywood? Alright, so now not only is he working on his script, but he has school, track, dog-walking, podcasts, and keeping his secret from his parents, all while a private detective has been sent to find out about Sean. To be honest, I lost them at “podcasts”. (3/18/14; 384 pgs)

The Ninja Librarians by Jennifer Swann Downey - It just sounds dumb, doesn’t it? Wait until you hear the plot. Alright, so a girl and her bro are chasing her mongoose through a library when they get into the janitor’s closet and fall into a secret pathway to the HQ of a society of…y’know. There’s a betrayal, she and her pals take the blame, and they need to clear their names. To be honest, I lost them at “mongoose”. (4/1/14; 384 pgs)

Poached by Stuart Gibbs - In the sequel to Belly Up, a horrible prank set up by a school bully leaves a koala missing. Teddy gets thrown under the bus since he’s the only one coming and going on camera, and he needs to find the real culprit and fast, because juvie is calling his name. (4/8/14; 336 pgs)

Renegade by Debra Driza - That android Mila I was talking about meets a boy who joins her to find some guy who knows about her past but people are looking for her. Basically, it’s the same book with some boy. (5/13/14; 448 pgs)

The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan - The fifth and final installment of Heroes of Olympus. Many are either fighting their emotions of seeing it go or complaining loudly about how they have to wait a year to see how it all ends. Mother Earth “Gaea” is still a strong foe and her giants must be stopped before the Feast of Spes where she plans to kill two demigods to receive (title) to awaken. To be honest, I lost them at “Gaea”. (10/7/14; 608 pgs)

Most anticipated: I don’t even know.

……………………………….

Well, I think I did pretty good to sum up the year! Leave anything you think I missed in the comments. Here’s to a great new year that’s bound to be full of awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!

Stay classy,

~S~ 8-)

Video of the Week: “Why I love my Honda VT750” by Nick Bertke aka Pogo, the guy whose mixes I’ve been uploading and gushing about to a fault. In this video, he drives around on his motorcycle, talks about it, admires the vista, and explains why the original Star Wars trilogy will always be superior to the new trilogy. All while we get to see some beautiful Australian scenery.

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https://sammwak.wordpress.com/2013/12/13/update/#commentsFri, 13 Dec 2013 22:25:07 +0000http://sammwak.wordpress.com/?p=3902]]>Hey guys, it’s Sam. Now, I know my recent post releases have been really out of order. Some come out on Mondays, some on Sundays, others on Saturdays, it’s a mess. I’ve been trying to get an every-Friday streak going on for a while, and my personal life has influenced my ability to blog frequently. I’m sorry there was such a delay in between my BookBuzz post and spark., I’ve just been really busy.I just suddenly realized I forgot to make a Halloween special and a Thanksgiving special this year. So, so sorry for that, and I’ll have to make the scope of this year’s Christmas/New Year’s special even bigger to make up for it.

Thanks for over 118,000 hits and fifteen subs! I know this sounds wussy for me to be getting excited over that, but it does mean the world to me that 15 of you have clicked that subscribe button and eagerly await a new post from me, no matter what day or what week it arrives. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without you, so I do thank you from the bottom of my heart!

This is also my 400th post on Sammwak. I did not even believe I was going to make it to 400, let alone 50. But thank you for making me want to make more posts and continue blogging for all of you.

Now, I’ve also been reading a lot, and here are the books I’ve been getting into:

Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis- My sister shipped this book to me a few weeks back. It’s the autobio of the frontman of one of the best funk bands in the universe. Stadium Arcadium is legendary by the way.

The Everafter War by Michael Buckley - My sister got me this one way back. Two sisters live in a town where fairytale characters abound. Prince Charming is plotting war against the Master, whoever he is. One major person has already died, so it looks like it’s gonna be a bloodbath.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame Smith and Jane Austen - It’s literally all in the name.

Watchmen by Alan Moore - The quintessential old-school DC comic book. It takes place in the 1940s-60s in an alternate reality full of superheroes. When superheroes are outlawed, a murder brings them out of retirement for one last job.

I’m becoming slowly addicted to this website called TV Tropes. Have you heard of it? If so, then your life has probably been ruined too. It’s a place that uses “tropes” to tackle all of the ins and outs of television, film, and literature. Every scene setup, every character cliche, every stock phrase, if you can imagine it, there’s probably a trope for it. Trope makers, trope namers, trope codifiers, tear jerkers, nightmare fuel, YMMV (your mileage may vary), getting-crap-past-the-radar, the list goes on. And I’m naming all of these off the top of my head. I’ve been troping for at least two months now, and I can’t stop. If you want to join me in my downfall into mayhem, it’s at http://www.tvtropes.org, and if you come across a Stuffedninja on those haiku pages, that’s me. :D

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Thanks again for taking me on this wild journey.

Stay classy,

~S~ 8-)

Video of the Week well, I’m not sure if I’ll be publishing on time again, so let’s just call it Favorite Video: “YouTube Rewind: What Does 2013 Say?” by YouTube Spotlight. An awesome mashup of every meme, fad, hit, and popular thing of the year, featuring Youtubers such as Tobuscus, Pewds, Rhett & Link, Epic Meal Time, and more! 20.2 million hits in two days. Impressive.

The last time we saw Katniss Everdeen (aka the master at archery and screaming) and Peeta Mellark (aka that other guy) was when they had outlived twenty-two other tributes and been crowned the victors of the 74th Hunger Games. Instead of returning to their families, they must go on a Victory Tour across all of Panem, district by district. But before she goes, Katniss meets up with President Snow (aka the bad Santa guy), who tells her that her defiance of the Capitol (aka Richpeople Land) has brewed a rebellion among the districts, and Snow wants these tensions soothed and simmered.

When Katniss fails to do so, it triggers the 75th Hunger Games, or the third Quarter Quell. These occur every twenty five years, and this Quell’s special rule is that all tributes will be selecting from the existing group of victors. Katniss’ mentor Haymitch (the drunk guy) believes that alliances are the key to survival, so she teams up with district four tributes Mags and Finnick. But little does Katniss know that Snow wants her dead and done, and the Quell will do nothing more than push Team Mockingjay’s limits as new obstacles are thrown at them by the hour. And as usual, anyone can die. “Tick tock.”

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THIS GIRL IS ON FIRRRRREEEoh and the guy too

I think this movie followed the novel way more closely than the original. I watched the original Hunger Games film sometime back and was rather disappointed upon seeing that it took over an hour for the actual Games to begin. I mean, the Games didn’t start automatically in Collins’ version, but at least she kept it interesting! Catching Fire gets you straight into the action as the violent undertone of the film is tenderized with lots of public action and drama before the Quell starts. And when it does start, we get thrown into a great big thrill fest with people dying left and right and the brand new environments of the Arena. I was particularly near the edge of my seat for the whole shebang, especially when stuff starting getting emotional nearing the cliffhanger ending. Character development went by strongly and maturely.

But here’s my biggest pet peeve with the movie–it introduces new characters that you have absolutely no idea who they are unless you’ve read Catching Fire or done some wiki research. C’mon, does it kill to include a little exposition? The most challenging part of a film series is the midpoint, because you have to top the previous film while setting up the next film. When you fail to do this (à la Saw, The Santa Clause, Cars, etc.), you have been diagnosed with sequelitis. But when you go out of your way to do this (à la Empire Strikes Back, Two Towers, Aliens, etc.), you manage to sidestep the disease. Catching Fire definitely avoided sequelitis; while still containing the emotional grip and thought-provokers of the original, the Quell adds something new to the dinner table. And boy, does it taste good.

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L to R: The fashionista’s fashionista, the one black guy, her, the drunk guy, the big-ego guy.

Presentation: From the nasty blisters Katniss receives from the poisonous fog to Katniss’ Mockingjay dress, CatchingFire‘s visuals are very proficient and spot-on. It looks so realistic as Team Mockingjay is attacked by mutt apes and tossed around like ragdolls on a spinning Arena. There’s a lot of glamour and spectacle during the interviews, and all of this makes for some very sweet eye candy. (★★★★★)

Acting: Let’s see, Katniss does a lot of screaming and gets hurt a lot, Peeta almost dies several times, Effie still has an ego almost as big as her hair, Cinna speaks a couple of sentences, Haymitch is the drunk comic relief you can’t help but love, Caesar has that annoying laugh, Mags doesn’t talk at all, Finnick becomes the new Peeta, Peacekeepers don’t like big scenes, Johanna speaks her mind, Prim’s a bit more mature now, Snow is vague as usual, and Wiress may or may not be insane. Yeah. (★★★ 1/2)

Writing: When it comes to a well-written story, Catching Fire delivers that more or less. But is the screenplay Oscar-worthy? Can you follow along without even trying? Well, it’s not necessarily Oscar bait, and you have to read the book to really follow along. Other than that, the script is actually pretty good. We can feel for Katniss each time she begins one of her emotional downfalls (which happens very frequently), but if you haven’t read the book Snow and head Gamemaker Plutarch Heavensbee will be very vague characters to you. You probably won’t know their grim plans for Katniss if they danced in front of you on fire wearing Christmas lights. At least the Quell scenes are pretty well-scripted. (★★★★)

Now if you do the math (12.5 stars divided by 15 total times out of 10) and some rounding, you’ll know that I give The Hunger Games: Catching Fire an eight out of ten.

THREE WORD CONSENSUS: Follows book better.

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Well, that’s all for this post! Be sure to subscribe if you’re now, shoot an arrow through that like button, and share it to your buddies on Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and more! But for now, stay tuned for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak this Christmas sea–oh gosh, Christmas. I have to think about what I’m gonna do for the Christmas special this year! Uh, trust me, it’ll be good.

Stay classy,

~S~ 8-)

Video of the Week: “VIRAL SONG” by Tobuscus. It teaches you how to make a viral video in music form! Over a million views in under a week. Impressive, and also kind of ironic if you watch the ending. “Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?”

]]>https://sammwak.wordpress.com/2013/12/09/spark/feed/0sammwakthe-hunger-games-catching-fire-poster-finalthe-hunger-games-catching-fire-movieCatching-Fire-catching-fire-movie-33836550-1280-673amulets, tall tales, and fast foodhttps://sammwak.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/zombies-tall-tales-and-fast-food/
https://sammwak.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/zombies-tall-tales-and-fast-food/#commentsSun, 17 Nov 2013 02:37:59 +0000http://sammwak.wordpress.com/?p=3827]]>If you’ve been following me and my good friend the Jolly Good Bookie on Google+, you would already know of some grim news I must tell you. The Bookie found out that he wasn’t a real person and was just something I created for my own benefits, so he quit. That’s right, the JGB is no longer associated with Sammwak. Looks like I’m going to have to grab the reins and introduce something new. I know I haven’t made a review in a while–heck, I haven’t made a post in a while ever since school clogged my schedule. First off, I’m sorry. Secondly, I want to try something new. Once a month, I’ll release several reviews crammed into one post, alongside some news and upcoming titles in the bookverse. Welcome to BookBuzz.

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Reviews

Fast food has received lots of osmosis in the pop culture of America. With thousands of restaurants around the country that serve millions (if not billions) of people and then plague televisions with their commercials, it’s very hard to avoid the growing phenomenon of unhealthy deliciousness. Some people love its taste, others hate its effect. But have you ever stopped to wonder how all of this came to be? In the novel Chew OnThisby Eric Schlosser and Charles Wilson, you find out just that. The matter is broken down simplistically to give you a history lesson and a behind-the-scenes look at big fast food brands and what dark secrets they’re hiding from the public. In this book, you will learn about…

How the hamburger was invented

How McDonald’s was born

How McDonald’s inspired the birth of tons of restaurants in its wake

How chickens are slaughtered

How fries are made

Why meat grinding is a more dangerous job than you think

What E.coli is and how lethal it can be

And much much more!

Chew is one of the few novels that actually gives me information and not trivia. As the tagline says, this book taught me “everything you don’t want to know about fast food”. And after reading it, I frankly did not want to know this about fast food. The writing provides an honest and fascinating undertone as the book changes subjects, and it doesn’t feel droned. They didn’t just copy and paste their research, do a little paraphrasing, and publish it. Never once was it not interesting, and it was sapid enough to the point where I’d actually want to keep reading. Few nonfiction books can pull that sensation out of me. Definitely a book you should read if you’re addicted to fast food or if you’re in an on-off relationship with it, like me.

FINAL SCORE: ★★★★★

“I am Ivan. I am a gorilla. It’s not as easy as it looks.” Thus begins the most heartwarming story of the year. Now, before I even tell you what the book is about, look at the author of it. Katherine Applegate. Doesn’t sound like much, does it? Now, take away the “therine”. Now you have KA Applegate. Yes, that KA Applegate. The lady who spent the 90s writing Animorphs went on to win the Newbery Medal. Wow.

Anyway, The One and Only Ivanis about the titular Ivan, a silverback gorilla who lives the Exit 8 Big Top Mall and Video Arcade. He has grown to living a life of people watching him all the time, and never once does he ever think about his old life in the jungle. His thoughts are about shows he’s seen and his friends Stella (an elderly elephant) and Bob (a stray dog). Above all, Ivan has a penchant for art and is always thinking about how he can capture the taste of fruit with crayons and an open imagination. Then as a baby elephant named Rudy is added to the Exit 8 crew, the tides begin to change, and Ivan must make sure the tides go in the right directions as he becomes a papa wolf for little Rudy.

As you can tell, Ivan is a very heartfelt novel that comes from a unique perspective. Never did you think a simian Shakespeare could swing in with such an amazing story. His streams of narration can hook a reader from page one and keep them there as the story unfolds in the next hundreds of pages to follow. Definitely a book that I did not see coming from the lady who wrote Animorphs, and definitely one that deserves the Newbery. Not only is it beautiful, but it also has its moments of humor. Ivan chucking “me-balls” of poop at people he hates will never not be amusing.

FINAL SCORE: ★★★★★

James Patterson has a knack for just the right type of comedy — with the just right amount of heartwarming goodness. Whether it comes in a huge twist or a very subtle reveal, James does it right. And it’s epitomized in the first two volumes of the misadventures of Rafael “Rafe” Khatchadorian (pronounced “catch a door, Ian”). I mean, they were masterpieces! I’d love to go into detail, but I’ve already done that in someother reviews. Now, a big change is coming to Patterson’s third middle school story–Georgia’s taking the wheel. Yep, lil’ G has her own story to share in Middle School: My Brother Is A Big Fat Liar. And what a story it is.

G is starting middle school at Hills Village, the same place where Rafe left one heck of a mark. She plans to excel in all the fields her brother failed to clear the name of the Khatchadorians for good! G got so cocky, she even bet Rafe that she’d become popular. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done, as everyone’s now adapted to make school a living hell for anyone with the last name of Khatchadorian. Plus, there’s the Princess Patrol, a trio of snooty mean girls who rule the school and look devilishly good doing it. They’ve got their crosshairs on G and are willing to bully her every time the chance comes.

In the wake of her troubles, G is also crushing on an adorkable boy named Sam (no, not me) and befriending a loud-talking girl named Rhonda. Out of school — get this — G plays electric guitar for a band called The Awesomes. (Rafe doesn’t think they live up to their name. Why? Because he’s Rafe.) But Rafe’s not quite done yet. He wants to make his burden of the bet a lot lighter and plans to humiliate G in the worst ways. But could G actually be able to fight her odds and emerge on top?

When I finished My Brother Is A Big Fat Liar, I was disappointed if anything. Why?

I finished the book the same day I started it. (I took a few days separately to read through Rafe’s books.)

I don’t think the book’s name is very appropriate. The Worst Years of My Life makes sense because Rafe explains why middle school was the worst years of his life. Get Me Out of Here makes sense because Rafe wants to get out of here and explains why. G does nothing to explain why her brother is a big, fat liar beyond one page; she’s too busy telling her story.

It has the most predictable setup of all time to the most generic ending of all time. I mean, you know the ending before it’s even close to arriving, it’s so foreseeable.

Rhonda is so annoying.

On the bright side, the book still have traditional Patterson gags and charm, and the climax is absolutely jaw-dropping. In Patterson’s trademark fashion, I did not see that one coming. Even though the story’s flaws are mortal in the end, it’s still a decent read to hold us by for Rafe’s next adventure.

FINAL SCORE: ★★★

The Scholastic Graphix graphic novel lineup is full of great authors. Jeff Smith (Bone), Raina Telgemeier (Smile/Drama), Doug TenNapel (Bad Island/Cardboard), among others. But a name like Kazu Kibuishi caught my eye as early as the fifth grade. I was a huge Bone fanboy at this time so I pushed the book aside. But after reading and reviewing all nine books in the series, I decided to give the first installment, The Stonekeeper, a try. Kibuishi is now on my “graphic novel authors to watch” list, because that book was grandiose.

Our story ironically begins with a bang as the main characters–Emily and her little brother Navin–are involved in a tragic car accident that kills their father. Two years later, Emily’s mom is struggling to raise her kids by herself, so she moves them into a spacious old house inherited from Emily’s great-grandpa Silas. As Emily explores her new home, she finds a stone amulet that warns her that her family’s in danger. Before she even knows what the amulet’s capable of, Emily and Navin are thrown into a mission to rescue their mother in a subterranean world full of friends and foes.

This book’s storytelling is absolutely pristine even in the limits of 192 pages; and the story’s emotions whiplash from exciting action to tearjerking drama within pages. Emily and Navin are ordinary children that you can feel for as they embark on a journey of such proportions. Also, the illustrations are crisp and beautiful and impeccably follow along the storyline. That being said, the story arc is very simplistic with not enough rising and falling actions to fill in the holes before and after the climax. It’s a book that I blazed through while at the same time understanding what was going on, and that sort of let me down. But The Stonekeeper‘s “and the adventure continues” ending paves the way to a lot of sequels I need to plow through.

FINAL SCORE: ★★★★

Remember back in May 2012 when I made a review for the last Bone book, saying that JGB Bone was coming to an end? Well, I forgot about one spinoff book (and the handbook and the prequel and the Quest for the Spark series): Bone Tall Talesfeaturing Tom Sniegoski. In this book, campfire myths from our old smoking pal Smiley are used to answer questions like how Boneville was made, and how the Bones got lost in the valleys.

The book was only 128 pages, so it didn’t take me that long to finish. I was very disappointed. The book is nothing but mildly entertaining stories that give me some exposition and context about the Bones, but I wanted more. More story, more action, more laughs, more pages, more Bone that I expected out of this! And to think I was so excited to read this book. Hopefully Quest for the Spark will be a saving grace, because Jeff Smith is dangling off the edge off of my “graphic novel authors to watch” list.

Maggie has been home schooled for years now, but now she’s a big girl. She’s going to make the transition from home school to public school as she goes into the ninth grade. She has three brothers that’s been watching over her for as long as she can remember, but Maggie just feels like she won’t be able to fit in. Maggie’s life has been stalked by a gray cloud of sorrow ever since her mom hit the road. Maggie’s never had any friends outside of family, but luckily she makes two friends, Lucy and Alistair. They eat lunch with her and take her on their adventures around town, but there’s one big secret she has.

MAGGIE IS HAUNTED.

Why she’s haunted, she doesn’t know. What it’ll take to free the spirit, she has to know. School hassles mixed with a harrowing haunting has Maggie’s hands way full. But in the end, she learns to see her brothers through a different perspective and learns the true story behind her sidekick in spirit.

I came across this on Common Sense Media, and it looked like a good read. It said something about “a ghostly twist”, so that hooked my attention. Some time later, the book shows up at the school libe and I decide to check it out. Ladies and gentlemen, I finished that book the same day. Doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment for a graphic novel, but still. I’ve read all nine Bone books, and each one took me a couple days to read to capture everything on the page. With this book, I could burn through it like I did The Tale of Desperaux. But we’re not here to talk about adequate graphic novel lengths, we’re here to talk about Friends With Boys. You have to understand that this is the full-length print debut of Faith Erin Hicks, author of another graphic novel called Zombies Calling. That sounds way more interesting than this. I was disappointed when I’d closed the book. Unsatisfied, like I was missing the main entree and being given just the sides.

If I got this and saw that Jeff Smith or Doug TenNapel had written this, I’d be highly disappointed. But I have to lay off a bit of my flak since Hicks is a pawn at this game of chess. But I’m the chess-master. I know what and when things are coming. But I didn’t expect most of the things that occurred, but for all the wrong reasons. Friends with Boys, even on my belittled standards, was very mediocre. Maggie and her friends are lovable characters, I get that. It has all of the bullying and bad words of high school, and then it has a ghost. That’s how you describe the book in one sentence. The other thing I hate is that the ghost is mute. Maggie should’ve actually taken the time to talk to her and have her tell her story instead of having some boring exposition do it for her. That would’ve made her a much better character. I also would’ve preferred the ghost to be Maggie’s age, but that’s an unimportant complaint–also, it’s not my call.

Another pet peeve I have is that everyone seems to understand what Maggie’s going through. Imagine if someone said to you, “I’m haunted by a ghost.” Would you respond with “I completely understand”, or think that they’re sliding down the slippery slope of sanity? If you chose answer A, you’re just like the characters in this book. I loathe you for that. I know that other people have much warmer thoughts for this book, but I think I’ve just wiped Hicks off of my “graphic-novel-authors-to-watch” list. The only thing I’ll acclaim the book for is that it has darn good illustrations. Friends with Boys just fell flat in my opinion.

If you think that Ghostbusters tee was product placement, wait until you read the whole thing. (L to R: Maggie, Daniel, Lloyd, Zander)

Friends with Boys may be appealing illustration-wise, but it’s just a series of misguided plot lines and stale gags with little action. Hollow, but not with enough flaws to get you to shut the book. There are certainly better graphic novels out there, but I might be willing to give Hicks a second chance if she does release again in the not-too-distant future. But for now, she hasn’t hit that sweet chord yet.

I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing this! Well, you know the algorithm–tune in, well, whenever for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak! Be sure to Like this post, and if you’re new don’t forget to haunt that subscribe button! You can also find Sammwak on Google+ where you can get more news and stuff there! You can also share it to your pals on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, Tumblr, and more!

Stay classy,

~S~ 8-)

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is considered by many to be the greatest video game ever made…now, let’s see how that holds up when I play it. This is just the beginning of a series that is currently six episodes long. The computer fan is still annoying as ever, and there’s also a watermark. This was the most primitive stuff I could find before upgrading to what I used in my Donkey Kong 64 video (which you can find in last week’s post). But nonetheless, enjoy, and if you like this one, knock yourself out with the other five.