A young blonde woman from Cheboygan was so depressed that she
decided to end her life by throwing herself into the
Straits. She went to the Mackinaw Bridge and was about
to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young
sailor saw her tottering on the rail, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much
to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if
you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take
good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder
and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me
happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all,what did she have to
lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her
life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her
in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made
passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she
was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she
explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's
screwing me."

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Jim and Karen were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Karen promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Karen's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Karen the news she said, "Karen, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that
you have a sound mind.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt
right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Karen replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"