Though it's hard to top Run-DMC's Christmas In Hollis and Derek B's Chillin' With Santa, this weekend in Essex some of the UK's premier poetic talents will share the stage, attempting to put Christmas into verse. There'll be folksy fare from local wordsmith Martin Newell, a former songwriting partner of Captain Sensible. Also featured is Edinburgh-born Ross Sutherland, who will deliver a currently-in-development piece based around revisiting material on a videotape that used to belong to his grandad (a tape which includes – among other things – an episode of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air). Completing the bill are legendary Salford punk-poet John Cooper Clarke and Luke Wright; imagine Clarke's nasal delivery remixed in more youthful and, well, plummier tones.

Colchester Arts Centre, Sat

Stuart Goodwin

Tom Bawcock's Eve, Mousehole

Stargazy pie. Photograph: Alamy

While the country clogs up its shopping centres, folk in one south-westerly fishing village will troop down streets and beaches, sing about storms and sailors, and feast on pilchards and pastry. In homage to fisherman Tom Bawcock – said to have saved 16th-century residents from starvation with his bountiful, between-storms catch – this annual jolly sees local youngsters brandishing nautical lanterns, and also coincides with Mousehole Harbour's lights display; look out for the sea serpent and Celtic cross. Also staring skywards will be the denizens of the night's mince pie-defying delicacy, stargazy pie.

The 20,000ft Hackney Downs Studios is a hell of a space to work with, and it's commendable that this quickfire festival has opted for a fresh approach to filling it as opposed to traipsing down the weary old route of lights, plastic reindeer, carolling, and the obligatory fat man in red suit. Instead, there'll be an 80ft feasting table featuring venison and wild boar, plus gourmet street food from the likes of Lucky Chip, The Bowler, Hardcore Prawn and Molly Bakes. You can also enjoy giant inflatable art, a huge roller disco (complete with vintage dressing-up box), and hot cocktails from Soho favourites Milk & Honey. It's a rare, non-traditional treat for mid-December.