CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOPR, A
(Dave Burnaby / Gitz Rice)
as recorded by Alfred Lester
1917
Perhaps you wonder what I am, I will explain to you,
My conscience is the only thing that helps to pull me through!
Objection is a thing that I have studied thoroughly,
I don't object to fighting Huns but should hate them fighting me!
Non combatant battalions are fairly in my line,
But the sergeant always hates me and he calls me "baby nine"!*
But oh, I got so cross with him I rose to the attack,
And when he called me "Ethel" I just called him "Beatrice" back!
Send out the army and the navy,
Send out the rank and file.
Send out the brave old territorials,
They'll face the danger with a smile!
Send out the boys of the old brigade
Who made old England free,
Send out me brother,
Me sister and me mother,
But for gawd's sake don't send me!
We have a nasty officer, he is a horrid brute!
Last Friday he was terse withe me 'cause I did not salute.
But I cut him twice today and then he asked the reason see;
I said, "I thought, dear captain, that you still were cross with me!"
Send out the army and the navy,
Send out the rank and file.
Send out the brave old territorials,
They'll face the danger with a smile!
Send out the boys of the old brigade
Who made old England free,
Send out the bakers
And the bloomin' profit makers,
But for gawd's sake don't send me!
*Recorded as "nine", should be "mine"
(Transcribed by Peter Akers - January 2017)