If I had a penny for every time someone told me that their own child does the same thing too, I would have gone on every bucket list trip of mine… twice.

It’s not that parts of what is being said are not true, but I can’t help but want to squeeze their head between my thumb and forefinger.

My neck is literally a swivel and I’m sorry if I don’t seem interested in what you are saying. I’m checking and re-checking.

Be prepared for just about anything when you are with us. A potluck dinner if you will, mixed with an array of behavior and emotions all rolled up into an undefined but flavorful dish.

Thank God for the creation of drive-thrus AND safe wide-open spaces.

I know your issues are issues but please don’t tell me how hard it is to decide which sport to choose for your child, soccer or basketball. Or even better, how tired you are of going to the weekend games. For the love.

If you have something high to climb on, be prepared. We climb. Way higher than yours… and no, we won’t sue you.

I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well last night. I haven’t slept in years <smile>

Spur of the moment? What you talkin bout Willis? Pre-planning keeps us all sane.

I’m sorry I had to cancel again. I’ll do it again next time too.

We are late but we are dressed and his hands are only partially down his pants. Are you going to eat that fry?

Oh, this is a great day for us. Can’t you tell?

I dislike ignorance almost as much as the noisy Target cart that always seems to choose me.