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Suggestions for a Miracle.

It appears that one more miracle is all that is needed for the late and recently disinterred Pope John Paul to be declared a Saint.

I am tempting providence here in terms of moderation, but I thought you might care to speculate on the nature of the miracle that you would like to see occur….

Personally I would vote for the Treaty of Rome disappearing in a puff of any colour smoke they care to conjure up – if that happened I’d be genuflecting in St Peter’s Square with the best of them.

What would be your wish, what would you like to see happen?

{32 comments }

LJMay 4, 2011 at 12:39

Clegg and Cameron as a song and dance act on Britain’s Got Talent (in the ironic also rans section). To be replaced with politicians who actually want to improve the lives of those who pay them salaries.

I would settle for instantly finding a handkerchief whenever I have to have a mighty sneeze. ( pollen season here).

LivewireMay 2, 2011 at 06:13

Pray to St Piriton (also works for rashes that St Amoxil can’t help with). If no luck, start a forest fire.

ukFredMay 2, 2011 at 00:36

How about exposing all the false memories of those who claim Catholic clergy sexually abused them for what they are, because it is surely obvious to anyone except a (Rangers supporting Orangeman) bigot that no Catholic clergyman would ever do anything like that, now, would he?

SaulMay 1, 2011 at 21:44

Being instrumental in the fall of communism in Poland and the subsequent collapse of the Iron Curtain, should just about clinch it.

Now that you have been moved up the beatific hierarchy and are a few flights of angels nearer to God, can you please perform a miraculous transformation on our British women.

Please can you ask God to use some of that water to wine magic of his and change them from the bunch of slapper, Britney/Posh Beckham wannabee, X-factor loving, thong exposing, lager swilling, paralytic gutter denizens into something like the Middleton girls.

Ta ever so much.

P.S. The above does not apply to any female occupants of these envrions, you are all (except Fabian the Fabulous) charming young ladies whose presence is much appreciated.

P.P.S. Please Santa, can you make one of these lovely transformed ladies short sighted enough to fancy me.

Gildas the MonkMay 1, 2011 at 20:29

As a Catholic, I would like to be rid of this Pope and be appointed in his stead. There would be a number of reforms, including a proper Inquisition like purge of child abusers and those who protect them. No names, no pack drill. And I would open a night club in the Vatican. And I would establish appoint Sister Eva a head of a new order, the Sisters of Earthly Delights.Ah well…. Let us pray!

1. Tilt the Earth on it’s axis to create permanent spring or autumn (Big G’s choice).2. I want personal super-overrides on anything that’s important to me i.e. everything.3. Free money for everyone. (clause 2 lets me remove it from unworthy scumbags).4. Get to sh*g Pippa (the only convincing argument for the televisation of recent events).5. Cats and dogs will get along (negotiable, always have a throwaway clause when bargaining).

I watched some of this on the TV, and all the gold and the ceremony and the solemn pomp and the chanting and the conspicuous wealth, and I wondered what that rather nice chap back in Palestine would have thought of it all.

My ‘miracle’ would be for the Catholic Church to say “look, chaps, I think we’ve strayed a bit off-message over the last 2000 years – let’s forget the massive hierarchy, sell all the gaudy stuff, give the proceeds to the poor and try doing meek for a while”.

I was going to say the same thing. The Catholic Church does a lot of good work but if every cardinal/priest etc in the world agreed to sell just one ring each the proceeds would do more than they do (perhaps I shouldn’t mention rings). I imagine if they did sell everything: property, jewelry, fine robes, gold, art etc…they could more or less wipe out world poverty. As you say, the young, hairy rather rebellious cult leader may look more kindly on them.

Some hope…reminds me of the “wish” joke and the bridge across the Atlantic.

I’d settle for all Pontiffs from here on in saying ‘No, don’t be silly, no, I won’t hear of it, you put your wallet away, right now’ whenever they announce they are going to impose themselves on one set of poor old sods or another.