Noodles, this is probably a sign that you need to start looking actively for other opportunities if you haven't done so already and to take this process as seriously as you'd take a second job (obviously not to the extent of letting your performance where you are suffer). Start meeting with people in your network and getting a sense of what is out there if you haven't done so already. Only you can decide it if is truly so bad that you need to leave without having secured anything else. Hopefully it's not quite that bad.

Most importantly, talk to your wife. Decisions like quitting, taking a new job and investing the time necessary to do a proper job search with the appropriate networking all affect her. And remember, quitting can be awesome and liberating for a short period of time, and then the bills and reality shows up.

Some firms care about those sorts of things, Noodles. If you're not into it, you probably want to find a place that cares less about who goes to happy hour. It sucks that you'd get screwed out of a bonus over it but I'm not sure what you can do other than decide to play the game or find a new job.