Our healthcare, reproductive rights and social support networks are vanishing before our very eyes and there she is, fauxminist-in-chief, daughter of the most powerful misogynist on the planet, dishing out her mindless “you go, girl!” advice to those mysterious, never-seen-before Women Who Work.

“Our grandmothers,” declares Ivanka, “fought for the right to work”:

“Our mothers fought for the choice to be in an office or to stay at home. Our generation is the first to fully embrace and celebrate the fact that our lives are multidimensional. Thanks to the women who came before us and paved the way, we can create the lives we want to lead—which look different for each of us.”

You tell it like it is, Ivanka! Never before, in the entire history of the world, have women been actual human beings who do stuff! But just home or office stuff, mind! No other workplaces exist, nor has there ever been such a thing as economic necessity. Finally we’ve got the opportunity to make ourselves useful. Please tell us what to do next!