It's been wonderfulnthroughout my life. I have got everything that I liked most of them rebeled. But there lies one thing that I have never got. No one could even help me getting it....

For that most special lady out there...
Most beautiful one that dragged me the entire life...

Dear,
This blog belongs to you. This entire work... every single letter just mean you. You know? The day I was getting tattoed I literally made up my mind... I just not love but live for you. And eery single time the needle peirced, it was just you on my mind. Thats very weird to say even I had girl friends althrough this period, everyone knew that you were my first preference and they were next. I liked you that way. I respect you, and thats the reason why I even stayed away from you. Even now! I wanna give away all my courage to come before you. But I dont dare... because I want all my 10 years of wait to be ended in a beautiful saga and Im not in a position to accept the bitter truth. As you said, I will one day speak to your mom about us. Trust me! And I always even knew that you faked that you had someone. And you accepted it. I will come please TRUST me!

As you see you find everything weirdPeople, trees and buildings all aroundIts like a mothers womb, I seeFall down... and you cry in painYou cry.. and you'll be saved by the doctorIt heals in time... but as times pass by, you can see the scarsYou laugh.. only because you're aliveYou silent? Youre dead

The other time when I was sitting in my balcony and seeing all the busy world around me, I felt that mother's womb is the only safe place on the planet with no worries and tensions

She is awesome.. she is tempting her curves are seductiveHer voice... her lips... they make stop my heart pumpingHer bends and her curves... they are carved from the heavensHer hair... so thick... black like the darknessHer eyes... that shine... they are round like pearlsHer skin... so silky.. as I hold her I feel her softnessShe sings... she dances... she is my princessHer feet.. they go pink as they touch the surfaceHer appeal... surreal... cant believe its all real...Her vibe... her spark... it ignites smallest quarkShe drools... she moves... that freeze my eyes in time..Provoke... revoke... she is now a cherokee

Hours passed, nothing they did but exchanging the sight. Suddenly, broke the silence... achyuth came near her...

"How are you?!" He asked, as she looked down

"No no.. nothing sorry! Am fine" she replied in excitement.

"Huh?! Feel free" he said as he saw her expressions in amazement

"Achyuth, how are you?" She finally spoke breaking the silence.

"So far, better. What are you doing now?" He asked in excitement

"I joined in google a week ago. Delhi campus" she said with a smile.. as she expected more from him

"That's great.." he congratulated her with a smile.

"And you achyuth? Where have you been? Why are you like this?" She
poured all her questions without hiding anything

"Im good for nothing. Im giving some home tutions to kids" he said with a low but stiff voice

"Achyuth...? Sit down. Are you joking? What happened to you? You'ee such a bright student" she said as her heart suddenly pounded in tensed state.

"When I was in my twelfth grade, I lost my parents in an accident. They were both orphans. So I got left with nothing but a willing heart to work, so I decided to work" he said, as he controled his tears

"What?" She held his hand with red eyes.. trying to control him

"Life has given me my daily wage to live for myself. It made me selfish" he said as he was about to burst in tears

"Achyuth, I waited for you" she said... as she dared to look into his eyes

"No. Dont do it anymore. Think achyuth is dead" as he said,
*slap* *slap* sanjana slapped and cried saying "achyuth is alive"

Silence filled the air... they spoke nothing for a moment...

"Will you marry me?" Sanjana asked breaking the silence

"Sorry. I cant. Im not even in a position to afford myself. Marrying someone like you? Not even for an hour I cant be" his tears bursted out.

"I love you, sanjana. But I can never ever say you this. I dont have anything to show it to you. But a mouth to express. I cant make your dreams come true" he spoke in affliction

"Achyuth... say yes or no" "will you marry me?" She said as she broke into tears...

He walked out... silently. No word... no answer...

They never met again... neither they never responded to anyone later.

Is it good what achyuth did?
Did he cheat sanjana?
You think achyuth broke his promise or life made him break?

As she typed the words, her head stormed with questions. But she finally wrote a small "3 liner" for him.

Achyuth, It's me sanjana, how are you? What are you doing? Where are you? Its been 6 years and where did you graduate?Hope everything is fine with you, have a happy day ahead. And evrything is fine with and around me.

Awaiting your replySanjana.

As she clicked "send" she saw an error... which broke her heart into a million peices.

"The email user you are trying to connect does not exist"

But somewhere she forgot something. "school alumni day" the main reason why she came back from delhi saying them that she will join the next week.
As she waited for "day after tomorrow" to come, she forgot everything.

She got a small gift for him. And waited every single moment for him. Just for him.

seeing sanjana's weird behaviour, her parets were so confused and began to worry about her. But sanjana decided to say everything to her parents and went near her best friend.. her dad,

"Pappa?" As she sat beside her dad she said in a low voice"Is there any thing wrong sanjana?" Asked her dad"Dad, I need to say you a thing. About a guy" she replied
"A guy?" "Are you in love with a guy?" "Who is that?" Her dad poured questions on her
"Dad, this guy said he will marry me, before 6 years. And he wont talk till then. And I really am amazed that he didnt even speak till now from then" she replied
"Your future is in your hands, not mine. But take right decisions" her dad said.
As she hugged her dad, her dad took her into his arms and said "never be wrong and make us go low"
She replied "I never did pappa, and I wont I promise"

Day passed so slow... sanjana spent the whole night looking at the stars, listening to some good old music..

Finally the alumni day has come. And sanjana wore the blue dress. Blue was achyuth's favourite color which made her look like an angel.

As she walked slowly in her school corridor, her eyes filled with memories,Her feet tapped the floor, her hands touched those old wallsAs she took a deep breath, the old school memories started buzzing in her ears. Her uniform dress, her lunch spot, her assembly presence rolled a film infront of her eyes

As she met her old friends she was a kid back again.. but some where in her mind, achyuth achyuth achyuth said her inner voice.

"Achyuth?" One of sanjana's friend said in a low voice.

Suddenly sanjana turned back in excitement, love, happiness what not a mixed expression covered her face. And a blush on her pink cheeks.

A lean 6 foot fair guy with a down to earth clothing entered the place where all were sitting down.
"Hey guys, how are you all?" In a husky voice said the guy
"Achyuth, you changed.." "achyuth you looking great" "is it really you?"
As everyone commented on him... his ees stopped at someone.
Someone who was waiting for him.
Someone whom he wanted forever
Someone who he loved all the time.
But, he turned his face away... not in shy, but with tears, Grief and agony.

Fish without the water may surviveRain without the rainbow may arriveIn the dark woods in the solace you be with meEvery time, every where around meNo possession, not even a diamond what so everDont mean any thing, 'cz you are my friend forever

P.S: dated august 4th, 2013
Dedicated to abhilash sharaf, chatty and all others

*Jet airways, flight no 1793 from delhi to hyderabad is scheduled to depart from the 3rd gate in 15minutes*

As she boarded the flight back home from her first interview in delhi, with a success sanjana buckled up her seat belt and started to deeam. Some where in her dreams, came a secret guy. As she looked at r0the sky so high, she repeatedly heard some words spoken by that secret guy.

"Where ever you go, whatever you do, I will be there with you. And today is 3rd april, 2007. And in 6 more years after graduation, I will come to you and ask you to marry me. By then I will get a good job and a settled life. Till then, take care"

As the clouds passed by, she asked herself "Does he remember me? Will he really come? Where is he now? What is he doing?", lost her self in a million of "con-questions" she finally reached her home town. The place where she spent all her life. All her memories, and all her foot prints.

On reaching home she got a grand welcome for the success of her interview. She now is a proud employee of "Google Inc.,". But more than the happiness her mind just revolved searching for the answers that her contravening logic left her. As she thought for a moment, suddenly something struck her mind...

she went near her mom and asked "Mom, where did you keep all my school books?", in excitement. As her mom siad that they were in the old cup board, she rushed into it and opened the cup board.

She started looking out for all the books, and finally Her eyes looked at something... her eyes opened wide... her breathe slowed down and her heart started to pound.

"Persons may leave, memories wont... slam book"

As she opened the slam book, her memories started to blink, each page she turned out for that secret guy her heart body went cold and numb. Her eyes stopped at a page, she started to touch every single letter that the guy wrote
Achyuth... 30th march, 2007 was signatured on the last line of the page... as she read the whole thing, she found his email id in it. Thought for a moment, she decided to mail some thing special to him. But her negative thoughts stopped her from typing the mail.

As we know, always the upper hand goes to heart, feelings and emotions. But in sanjana's case, lets see what happens...

Rushed my blood in the veins like a storm
In this cold winter night, looking into your eyes
As I hold you with my hands, take u in my arm
love filled the air, and silence broke the ice
Like the pearl in the shell, I protect you and I will
Seize you in my love forever, as long as it exist
Like the rainbow for the sky, in your life I fill
Colors of joy, happiness and for every thing you do to me I resist
Beyond the skies, in to the oceans I dive
For you to show that I love you till I die
Hold my hands, il make your deeams come alive
Not a word, not a promise, but just a sigh
Like a princess of athens, and the godess of heavens
You live in my heart and my soul, which are immortal
For you I shall live, for thee you are my greatest of possessions
in this silence and solace, here I commit as my heart babel

"Hey, is it you?", called a voice as I answered it with that dizzy voice. I was awestruck, and in a moment all the tonnes of sleep that was pounded on my eyelids has vanished and I asked "who is that?"
"Jay?" Answered the voice
"Yea miss, who are you?" I answered
*beep beep beep* as the phone got disconnected, in excitement I called it back. And she lifted the call.
"What happened? Who are you?" I went to the point directly without the initial starting
"You forgot my voice jay?!" Replied her with a low voice
"Sweetheart, is that you? Where are you?" I said, as it was my love who called me up after an year.
"Jay, 6pm at the same old under bridge I cant speak any more for now. Bye" as I saw heard struggling voice, tears rolled down my eyes

As the dawn turned dusk, I started to the under bridge which reminded me of the moments that we spent together

"Scars remind that the past is real"

A moment later, my senses worked and I realised that I was in tears remembering them. And finally it was 6pm.
And from a distance, her fragrance filled the air... I can see her at a distance, walking towards me. As she approached me I stood numb breathless and silence filled the air. The abandoned under bridge was now again with two souls meeting after an year...

Silence... nothing but silence filled the air, as she stood infront of me.. tears rolled down her beautiful eyes.. I went near her, and wiped her tears. But they kept on rolling down... till now.. not even a single word we spoke.Other than the phone conversation the day morning...

"Am sorry" said our voices... breaking the silence at a time.
As we exchanged our glances we lost ourselves in it.
"Its been an year and 3 months that you spoke to me" I said
"And you forgot that today was the day that I 1st saw you in the football match" she exclaimed
As the silence broke... she slapped me
Once, twice, thrice and hugged me
So tight she cried and she pulled me
So near that my love finally surrounded me

You ever regained any one back in your life.. your first love that too... after an year that too...
I took her into my arms and I started caressing her. I wiped away her tears and I said, I waited as I promised.. and you came back as I said.
"I love you" I whispered into her ears.
As the moments passed we struggled fighting against emotions.
"Dad said to bring you home" she said
"What?" I exclaimed in amazement
"Someone asked me to marry me an year ago..." she replied
"Will you marry me?" I knelt down in the same position as I said an year ago... and the last day, that we met, spoke and departed...
"Yes" she whispered with those rosy red lips that made me go outta control...
As I stood up and came closer, she closed her eyes. We kissed each other and nothing meant to me more than that...
"I will never let you go away from my life, angel. Never ever again" I said her hugging her tightly.
"And the moment you let me go I die..."
I didnt let her complete the sentence because, she meant the whole world to me...

As we crossed our fingers, I felt as if im dreaming the whole thing.
"Jay, I love you" she said
The smelly turned to smiley...
Worst turned to best
Nd my heart finally started its life again..

"If you love someone, leave them to hell. If they come back to you, be with them because they were your's at the first moment. If they dont come back, they never belong to you"

Here, jaynth would'av asked many questions... but he trusted her. So he agreed everything. And even aishwarya never doubted him. So they never rather fought... rather this TRUST is more important. And BELIEF in their love made them successful in love.

Every single moment was heart pounding, embarrasing, dreamy, what not to say it was everything. I mean it was something called LIFE.
The moment I saw myself with her in the mirror, it was a dream come true.
The moment I entered my home with our right legs 1st, it was incredible feeling
The moment I entered now so called "our" room, it was a life time for me
The moment which we were together, there was nothing but love in the air
The moment of 'us', finally happened... and it lasts forever and ever.

Her presence filled up the entire home which was empty. Rejoiced with her presence, my became our's... I became us... and everything became silent...
The girl of my dreams, the love of my heart, the princess of my world and the soul of our's is finally in my arms. Hugged her tightly she dropped tears on my arms which made me hold her more firm. And the smile she smiled in the happiness can not be bought even with the entire universe sold.
Her fragnace spread the whole of OUR room. She stood infront of the mirror in curiosity.
I asked, "what happened baby?"
She replied "I feel myself incomplete" looking into it with a sad face.
I went beside her saw her in the mirror..
She said "yea, jay im complete now. This is what I look like"

What else in the world can make a guy more happy than that?

I hugged her from back and whispered into her ears "I love you" and that hug made the whole air in the room Romantic... Sensuous... Love... every inch of our bodies were born again. Every cell of us rejuvenated and every atom that was there in our presence felt jealous.

Turned towards me she made me lost in myself. The air was filled with romance. And the moment my lips touched her's... felt like enchanted with love. The clock started ticking slow, the room which was set at arcitic temperature seemed to be 40celcius as we hugged tightly. Holding her soft cheeks in my hands, I felt like holding a just born infant with such an innocent smile.

Hearts pounded, veins over flew, adrenaline rushed, and that limerent bond between us opened up. As we started to feel each other, our bodies were numb. As I kissed her curves, she started to hold me tight. And her every single touch made me feel alive. Like a whisky on the rocks the fluids in our bodies started to pump involutarly. As we cuddled on the bed, with our fingers exactly interlocked perfectly without any space, our souls rejoiced in happiness. Every moment ended up perfectly. The silence seized every thing around us.

As she moved her body closer to mine, it felt like a soft rose with blossomed petals. With her fragrance, she made me feel as if it was a mid summer night's dream. As me moved passionatley, the love filled the whole atmosphere. Curatins started to swing and with her silky body lying on mine, oh love! What to say... you're unexpressible..

Love is something not only a feeling, it comprises of bonding, physically, mentally and whole heartedly. And romance is such a part of love where exactly you can show the love, the emotions, the passion and the feeling you have towards her. Most importantly, love is to be shown, ts to be felt and it should be experienced. Its not something to think or its not something to hide.

Started oozing the love of mine
I lay here with nothing but pain
As I keep on remembering all my life
There were nothing but tears and grief

Some more minutes and I know am gonna leave this world
Fly like an angel to the heavens which cant be sold
Pushing myself free from this planet of uncertainity
Let my death make you confirm that I love you till that infinity

You made my heart rupture with a thorn
And I made my soul free so that I can again be born
Not like a looser the next time I will be
But like a knight with a sharp sword il let you free

Blood you see in this and love I see
Desperate you say and for respect I say
Not all the dreams come true what so ever
But till victory I live forever

Now me, may be you tomorrow
But let there be one for you that can be in sorrow
Seizing this moment here I close my eyes
Think again before you open my dairy once

Oh my dear, here im invisible
Always by your side seeing you I cremble
Played and lost the game of love thats inevitable
Accepted the loss im undenaiable

P.s :- This post is dedicated to all the people who couldnt get their love and suicided... R.I.P your souls