Modern Dating Advice for Smart Singles

Why You Should Never Let Anyone Waste Your Time

Every experience can teach you something.

No matter how much you know about dating, relationships, or yourself, it’s not easy to avoid the wrong relationship. Maybe the relationship isn’t “wrong”, maybe it just doesn’t last, which can make you feel like you’ve wasted your time. I think any experience that helps you grow as a person is worthwhile. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to know if a relationship will last, and for how hong.

In this article I want to identify a certain type of relationship with someone who purposely wastes your time.

How do you find the one? How do you know when you find them?

It might not be realistic to only date people who will prove to be permanent partners but you can avoid those who never want to be your partner at all. There are people that you should avoid who never intend on having a relationship with you. People who’s sole intention is to make you think that they want what you want.

These are predators in my opinion who don’t give you enough information to make a decision on whether to date them or not.

Or worst, they make you think that they want what you want and lead you on for so long it becomes more and more difficult to walk away. I call these particular type of person the timewaster.

So what is a timewaster?

They are the most detrimental element to those who want to be happy but happen to be single.

Timewasters are an obstruction to your happiness and dating progress. The worst thing you can do, when you’re single, is let someone else waste your time.

Especially someone who has already come to the conclusion of what the courtship will be but decides not to let you in on the secret.

Time wasters do nothing more than waste the valuable time you could be placing into a positive, progressing, potential relationship with someone else. They have the allure of what maybe a high ROI but at the end of the day it’s like waiting in line for the Ipad 2 only to discover, it’s sold out.

So much time and energy invested for nothing. So how can you tell if you are involved with a timewaster?

To my surprise many singles realize when they are on the brink of wasting their time with someone. There is an uneasy feeling that the relationship isn’t “going anywhere”. I can’t describe it but I’ve never met anyone, in a dead-end relationship, who hasn’t felt it at some point or another.

What really matters is not that you avoid timewasters instantly (because how can you possibly know their disguises) the goal is to get out of the courtship the moment you realize you have nothing more to gain. Outside of being downright miserable, here are a few additional signs your time is being wasted.

NO PROGRESS.

You’re in no better a place today than you were when you started the courtship.

In the time I’ve been single, about 3 years, I’ve managed to secure a fairly decent job, start and manage my own website and propel what was once a little blog into a business venture.

I’ve lost weight and gained insight on many aspects of life. Overall, I’m better today than I was yesterday. How many of you can say that being with the person you’re currently dating.

What have you done in the time since you’ve met to now? What have they done? Has life as you know it gone from bad to worse, good to bad or stayed the same?

NO GOOD.

Timewasters mean you absolutely no good.

Not to say that they are bad people but they are selfish people only interested in their enjoyment and their needs. They require excuses just to be chalked up to decent human beings. There behavior sucks, but you keep remixing it into something acceptable because you don’t want to admit to yourself that you’re with a time waster.

These type of no good timewasters always require your defense.

They engage in behavior that always needs an explanation. Whoever you date, ask yourself, “Is this the best I can do?” and answer honestly. Who you want will never find you if your occupied with a timewaster.

NO LOVE.

It should be a no-brainer but you’d be surprised how many singles chase after people who clearly don’t want them.

When you pursue someone who isn’t interested in you they think,“Why is this person wasting their time?” Not only is the pursuit a waste but the actually dating is more of a waste because they don’t like you and they already know it. Even if your attempts are successful and you manage to get this person to go out with you it’s likely that they don’t respect you and does it feel good?

There is a saying, “You can do bad all by yourself,” meaning you don’t need a partner in failure. If you are going nowhere, unhappy and desperate another person will not be the cure. In fact, misery loves company but as soon as one person is no longer miserable they leave.

When you are happy, fulfilled and excited about life you’ll realize being alone and happy is better than being together and miserable. I hope this was helpful.

I thoroughly loved your tips on if you want to keep your man.. Though I myself comes from the men fraternity yet could not refrain from liking the minute detail you explained as I Could have easily relate to each point 😄. That's why , the marriage kills the romance because of those bad traits.

Miss Solomon - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

Thank you for your comment, and for reading. My advice is this. A man should be cherishing and chasing you. A man should be worried that he will lose you if he doesn't show you attention. If a man isn't treating you like you're valuable to him, don't stay with him. Show your own value by leaving him alone. You don't need anyone in your life who makes you feel like you're second class. I hope this was helpful.

Miss Solomon - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

Thank you so much for your comment and thank you for reading! I know this is easy to say but the best way to approach men that you like is to remove yourself from the outcome. Yes, you want a date, and I think it's great that you took the initiative but don't beat yourself up about the outcome. The circumstances might not be right. There is one way I recommend taking action in dating to see results. It's a simple process - Step 1. Write down 3 possible scenarios A,B,C - A being if nothing happens, B being if it something happens but not what you expected, C being if your ideal results happen. Then try to imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Prepare yourself for no response, for a rejection, or for a date. If you're prepared for any outcome, its easy to take action. Just don't NEED anything certain result. Just take action because you're a brave person willing to take risks, and go after what you want. Instead of worrying about the result, just focus on taking action. It's not about what happens, it's about taking the action, accepting the result as feedback and moving forward with new information. I think you did a great thing! and the action itself means more than the result because you showed confidence. If you don't get a date, that's ok. But don't stop right taking action where you can. I hope this was helpful.

Danica - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

there is this guy who flirts with me, shows all 32 teeth when smiling at me and sighs around me a lot, well I do like him and think the feeling is mutual, but ive asked men out in the past and that did NOT turn out as I had hoped. but I decided to give it another shot by giving my crush a Christmas card and writing in it the following "me and you coffee with my name/number" and if he is interested he has my digits. is that too much or not.

lizzy - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

i want u to advice me ma.there is dis guy v bn lvn for d past 10yrs i lata told im my filns and he agri to date ever since dat day he hasnt called or text v bn the 1 textn and calln.what can i do