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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

My unsolicited advice to Mitt Romney

1. Release your plans, man.

Alright, Mitt, you've sewn up the Republican nomination. Where are your plans? You're supposed to be the man with the plan to show why Barack Obama is not the choice for the presidency. Instead, we've heard of the release of your 59 page plan to fix the economy. I can only imagine the 59 pages are you repeating yourself that taxes should be lowered and that jobs should be created. The New Yorker reported that Romney's economic advisers are more moderate Republicans than he probably wants to be associated with, in his quest to be the anti-Obama. Additonally, his moderate economic advisers may not believe in the trickle down economic theory that Romney has been advertising. So, where are your economic plans? If you have such great economic plans, you know, you could release them and help get the country back to work or to fix our country economically.

2. Stop running the anyone but Obama campaign.

This has a lot to do with the first one, as well. Romney has consistently disagreed with Obama on every issue. While Romney has disagreed with Obama on nearly every issue, he has not shown how he would differ with the current president. Romney has stated that he would repeal Obamacare if he was elected to the presidency; however, he has not offered any position on how he would vary from Obamacare or offer how he would reform health care. Romney has not issued his own positions on multiple issues and has not offered his own positions. At this point, Obama is taking a writing utensil calling it a blue pen and Romney is taking the same utensil and saying it's a colorless pencil. Analysts on both sides are blaming the other side for bringing up color in the debate. I'm blaming both sides for this one but Romney needs to show how he would differ from Obama before blindly disagreeing with him.

3. The world is your oyster, buy 100 million of them.

Romney is weak on foreign policy. This is probably a fair assessment. What could Romney do to help himself in this situation? He could bring in advisers to help him with this subject. He could bring in Jon Huntsman, former United States ambassador to China from 2009 to 2011. He was also an ambassador to Singapore under George H.W. Bush. He knows his shit. Bring in Huntsman and have a talk about potential foreign policy. Romney could bring in Rob Portman, too, a U.S. Trade Representative. Portman is already a possibility as a vice-presidential candidate. Bring in these foreign policy experts and try to strengthen your biggest weakness.

4. Get by with a little help from your friends.

Tell your rich friends to stop contributing money to your campaign and instead of contributing money to your campaign, put that money into creating jobs. This will make you look like a person who is putting America ahead of your own presidential run. Additionally, you can criticize Obama and his administration for creating an environment where it is damn near impossible to create jobs. This is what you call a win-win situation.

5. Don't act like a rich douche.

Stop vacationing in New Hampshire. I work for a hotel company. Believe me, I know, only douchebags vacation in New Hampshire. You're on vacation all the time. Really? You're going to criticize the president for taking too many vacations or golfing too much? What exactly have you done since you stopped being governor of Massachusetts? It seems like you're always on vacation. Is it so stressful, writing books and running for president? Sorry, that was dickish. Don't apologize for being rich and successful. Isn't that what your campaign is about? Release your tax forms, if that's the point of your presidential run. If it's not, don't campaign on it.

6. Act like you've been there before.

Romney and his campaign have been trying to make a point that Obama is inexperienced or over his head. It's unclear how that's going to run after the Supreme Court's ruling of the Affordable Care Act. But, it doesn't seem like Romney is ready to run for the presidency. Act presidential. Put the country ahead of your campaign. If you have plans that will actually make America a better place and you're not releasing it because you would rather have the presidency then making the country a better place then you are truly playing into the role of the cynical policymaker. Which brings me to my last piece of advice.

7. Let the press know that you have the plan to get America out of this economic downturn. You have talked to President Obama and have talked to leaders of both parties. You have helped broker this amazing breakthrough in the American economic scene. You have done something that President Obama could not do. You have engineered a breakthrough in bipartisanship.

Oh well, #7 is a pipe dream.

That must have been what woke me up.

I doubt any of my advice will be listened to, but that would be my advice to Mitt Romney.