(To The Internet)

365 Days of Fear: Day 108

Yesterday’s post inspired me to actually post on time for once and since I found myself with 30 extra minutes today I figured instead of watching Grey’s I could actually do something semi-productive. And I certainly was not about to revise another paper, that’s for sure.

Today I got out of class early and was about to walk back to my dorm when I remembered that I had to take a picture for the mental health campaign I brought to Gustavus at 11:30 (approximately 40 minutes of free time, this is probably extremely confusing…). I did not have time to walk back to my dorm, but I didn’t exactly know what to do with myself.

I was hungry and usually eat lunch after my 10:30 class so I figured I would get lunch. But when I realized that I did not have time to take my lunch back to my dorm and eat with my roommate like I usually do on Thursdays I caught myself thinking that I would be better off without lunch. Moral of that sequence of thoughts: I do not like eating lunch alone and I most certainly don’t like eating lunch alone in Gustavus’ cafeteria. It’s large and most people have someone to eat with. It makes me anxious that I am eating alone and I feel as though everyone is looking at me (they aren’t).

So I decided to just use this innate anxiety and face this fear today. I am currently writing this sitting alone at a table in the back corner of the cafeteria. I couldn’t quite bring myself to sit in the middle or at the front–that’s for another day. But I am proud of myself for eating alone in a large cafeteria! And it was not too awful (emphasis on the too).