Blogging about cross-stitching, my life with DD, my job and my studies (Master Program in IT)

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

My 2004 Goals

In my other blog at TLOL I posted my goals for 2004. I wanted to track my progress on them every month, but didn't really do it regularly. I wanted to revise them some time in July, but July was so stressful I do not really blame myslef for not doing it. As the blog was supposed to be mainly about Alizée and not myself, it hasn't been updated lately. So I decided to transfer my golas to this blog, track my progress and revise them now. Who cares if I do it on July 1 or August 10?

**********My original goals**********
• Being a good Mummy to AlizéeI still get angry sometimes if she cries inconsolably. I know that it’s not her fault and I feel sorry for her, but if happens early in the morning when I fight to get some sleep, or late in the evening when I’m already very tired; I get annoyed. I even yelled at her a couple of times. I hate myself for being so annoyed with her and want to work on it. Except for that I feel OK at the moment in the role of Ali`s Mom. I enjoy the time I spend with her and taking care of her needs is OK for me as well. I just would like to have more patience with her, even when I’m tired.
• Getting a diplomaWell, it’s high time I did it at last. I have only two semesters left and I have to do it. I have wasted enough time already and I should start working harder on achieving this goal. This means for me that I have to prepare for 4 exams, which are on the 24th and 25th of January. This is (or should be) my top priority at the moment. If I don’t pass at the first try I can retake them in February/March. But it would mean another trip to Poland with Ali. And it’s really very difficult to travel with her by train in winter all alone. Now my Dad is going to drive us, but I can’t make him drive us every time, it’s over 550 km one way...So there is no other way to avoid the second trip, than to pass the exams on the first try... Just there are only 3 weeks left and I have barely opened the books. I need to start learning seriously.
• Finding friends (preferably Mommies)I am not good at finding and keeping friends. I have been severely disappointed by people I considered my best friends and find it very difficult to trust others now. I want to work on changing this. Usually I feel OK just with myself, with Ali and DH, but sometimes I crave talking to other people. I guess if I want it I have to forget my prejudices and start taking care of people around me. There are some potential friends out there with whom I can imagine I could socialize; I just should start taking care of them more. At least I should answer their mails sooner than after a month LOL. And I should call them from time to time at least, even if the telephone is nit actually my favorite means of communication...
• Losing weight – ca. 25 kg (55 lbs)This goal is obvious. If I forget it the big mirror in our bedroom should remind me about it. And I should remember the cool clothes in the newest OTTO catalogue LOL.
• Getting MCSD certificationNeeded for my job in January 2005. They were kind enough to forget about them when I was pregnant, but when I come back, there will be no excuse and no time to actually take them, so if I want to keep my job I have to get this bloody certification. Point.
• Getting more organizedNo, I don’t want to compete with Flylady, I just want to tame the chaos a little bit... I forget things so easily. I forget Alizée’s vitamin D more often than not... Our apartment is most often a total mess. I never ever learn systematically. I know I can’t change myself 100% (it wouldn’t be me any more...), but taming the chaos a bit could do a lot already. It seams that when I start working on something and see some success I immediately relapse in other field. I will restart writing my holy lists of To Dos and will review them every day. It worked in the past, before I got pregnant, maybe it is going to work for me now.
**************************************************

*************My progress*********************
• Being a good Mummy to AlizéeHopefully I am a good Mummy. I got more patient, I spend as much time with her as possible. I could do more here, she need more interaction with other children, some kind of baby "sport", and I haven't even found time or energy to enroll us in any Mommy and me group. I hope I will do better here.
• Getting a diplomaYay! I did it! I have a Bachelor in Business Administration and a straight A on my diploma!
• Finding friends (preferably Mommies)Getting better at it. I called Natalia immediately after coming back home and will meet her today, will try to keep contackt with Marta as well. My issues here did not diminish and I'm not very happy with this field, but I see some progress here.
• Losing weight – ca. 25 kg (55 lbs)I did very bad here. After making good progress until April, I screwed badly and now weigh 9 ponuds more than in April. Obviously this goal needs retuning, there is no way I can still keep it in original form, but I hope to restart working on it.
• Getting MCSD certificationI did nothing towards this goal, but as I'm not coming back to work in January, I got more time to accomplish it.
• Getting more organizedWell, the house doesn't look bad at all, but admittedly it's DH who keeps it clean. I need to work on this one much harder, I am starting my Masters in October and will need more organizational skills to get everything work smoothely.
*******************************************************