Hand in Hope

Monday, March 10, 2014

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Thursday, March 6, 2014

Now I know why Jesus died for our sins . . .

This
means, of course, that Gay Ninja Robot went to the “Bodies” exhibit at
South Street Seaport. It also means that He’ll never be able to look at
a Chinese guy the same way again.

Fuck stereotypes. Those Chinamen are HUNG.

But
I think that once you allow yourself to move past the overwhelming
eroticism of seeing so many dead guys, you realize . . . [Ed.: Stop wacking out and get to the realization already.] ummm . . . you realize how much human meat looks like animal meat? How precious life is? A little of both?

Besides getting a stiffy over dead dudes, GNR’s been up to all kinds of wacky adventures. So hop aboard boys and girls!

First
things first. The episode’s been postponed until summer. But GNR has a
copy! The cost of one viewing? A cookie. Hand delivered.

And
yes, He’s watched it. And yes, He’s mortified at the prospect of it
airing. And yes, He’s grateful Queer Eye’s ratings have tanked lately.
And yes, it’s absurdly unfair that revealing your multiple personality
disorder on national television should affect people’s judgments about
you!

So stop judging.

But yes, bring cookies. And yes, booze too. [Ed.: And yes, you need to vary your sentence structures more. And yes, so do I.]

Second, things are going just swimmingly otherwise, and that’s swell. Have hung out with Sean Maloney and Paul Hackett recently, thanks to the Mix.
I also spent much of last night with a young lawyer-type who
interrupted our evening constitutional to score some crystal meth, then
tried to take me to “The Cock” so he could have “lots of penises in his
face,” which he both said and pantomimed.

This one’s for you, NYU Admirer. Now bring me some goddamn motherfuckin’ cookies before I blow your motherfuckin’ headoff.

*pantomimes multiple penises in face*

That’s a wrap. Sorry so short. But expect more soon. Expect it the same way I expect cookies.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Apple iPhone 5 is the most searched gadget in the whole
world and now the people who are fond of Gold & Co. they can rush to buy
this World’s first iPhone in 24 karat God Plate. It was launched on 27
September, at the Collector’s Palace in Dubai Mall, United Arab Emirates. Phil
Schiller, Vice President of Apple reported to a client complaint that “Any of
the aluminum product can get scratch or chip with use, displaying its original
silver color and that is pretty normal.”