Negotiations: 3 Steps to a “YES” and a Great Relationship

A Guest Post by
Zelko Kecman

We’ve all heard this when buying a car – “let me check with the manager and see what I can do for you”. The interesting thing for me is this also happens a lot in business and almost the same type of conversations. Someone almost always has to go away and ask for approval either on price or a clause in a contract.

Here are some simple principles that have worked for me over the years that will get you to a mutual Yes and more importantly won’t harm your relationship for future business. Lastly this is a very high level view as what I’ve outlined is generic for both business or personal. There are some additional considerations when dealing with very large organizations and large values.

I see negotiations in 3 phases, Preparation, Discussions and Done Deal. The more time you spend on step 1, the less time you’ll spend in 2 and you will be more likely to get to a good deal.

1) Preparation (aka Do your homework)

– #1 item is listing specifically what is most important to you. What is absolutely not negotiable and what is and how far. WRITE it down and be specific with the details.
– Leverage your network of friends and colleagues (that’s what Facebook and LinkedIn are for)
– Google, Bing, your own internal databases: look for other similar cases, going prices, reviews, what are you worth, how the company is doing, etc
– What role does the person you are going to be talk with have? Think of this, someone in procurement is measured by how much they get from the other side financially in most cases. Also is it month/qtr/year end?

2) Discussions

First of all, before you even get into the hard discussions and start throwing contracts or wants around, try to understand who you are dealing with. If you meet someone who is good at what they do, it almost always starts with seemingly harmless questions and discussion. The reason for this is to get a better sense on who that person is or what is important to them. Also, have faith the other person is being honest, but do not trust. I know this sounds harsh, but being naive will not serve you well.

Here’s a simple checklist during the discussions:
– Keep a cool head all the time, be friendly and keep emotion out of it.
– Be open to heated debate. Just don’t make it personal, keep it factual.
– For each item being discussed, clarify your intent. I can’t stress this one enough. Especially in legal terms, legal is not as black and white as people believe.
– Take notes on actions and decisions and owners of each
– Don’t commit to something unless you are 100% sure. Take it away to verify. Again, with the car, “so if I were to drop $xxx off you would buy the car?” – you’re response should be “let’s take a look at the whole deal and decide then”
– At the end review all the actions and decisions

At this point, you’re either getting closure on the deal or steps 1 and 2 will need to be done a few more times as people take away action items or revisions. Remember this is negotiations and you should be able to give on items (look at your list you wrote down in #1 and push on others you want. Also, it is very important to know that if you truly have 1 item left that there is no mutually agreeable way forward you should be able to step away from the situation and wish the other person well. If you can not you better be ready to give on that item then.

3) Done Deal

Great job, both you and the other person have come to an agreement. Neither side should walk away from the situation feeling like they got taken advantage of, if it does happen, it’s almost guaranteed you’ll never to business again. Close the conversation like it started with a friendly conversation and a follow up once you’ve completed the transaction. You never know when you will be back at the table and having a supporter of you will be important.

Lastly, getting to a point where you are comfortable with negotiations is not something you get from a course or book alone. It really is something that you need to do regularly. It can be with simple negotiations with your kids, spouse, stores, banks, anyone, you just have to be conscious that you are practicing your skills or in participating with others who are seasoned at it.

There are hundreds of resources out there for learning negotiations, however one of the best that I have seen as a starting point is “Getting To Yes” .

I love debate, discussion and comments so please feel free to let me know what you think.

—–
This blog post began as a Twitter conversation with Zelko Kecman – @zelkoCA – You can find out more about him through his linked in profile.

Comments

Good Post â simple points that are easy to understand and put into action. Believe it or not, it takes practice and discipline (as well as a commitment on your end) to be a good negotiator!

For me (and as you statedâ¦The more time you spend on step 1, the less time youâll spend in 2 and you will be more likely to get to a good deal.) the key to GOOD NEGOTIATIONS is PREPARATION.

Understanding Your Interests and Their Interests has always been my first step.
The Need, The Want, and Why Do I/They Want It

The key preparation question to ask yourself: Why am I/they here and what do I/they hope to gain from an agreement? In a nutshell, Where do I want to be at the end of this negotiation?

Another key question to consider in your preparation: What Is The Alternative? What will I do if we donât reach an agreement in this negotiation? As you mention, #1 item is listing specifically what is most important to you. What is absolutely not negotiable and what is and how far. WRITE it down and be specific with the details.

Within your negotiation, I believe you do need to look at not just how you communicate, but what are you communicating and how will it be interpreted.

What are the messages you want to convey and how will I convey them? What are the message they will convey and how will I go about interpreting them? What are my assumptions and how are they affecting my interpretation of what they are saying or doing?

For me personally, if you need to go and talk to someone else first, then why was I talking to you in the first place?

I would rather talk to the decision maker thank you. The one above can say yes/no. The one below wants the sale bad and will keep on going back and forth wasting your time.

It’s better to go up top because he (or she) is a straight shooter (Not always available). He may be strickter but for me time is of the essence.

Speaking of feeling like one has been taken advantage of at the end of the deal; my experience is that with online business and buying things through affiliates one feels taken advantage of most of the time. Perhaps we need to look at how we can change this perception and experience and we will do more sales, get more referrals and do more business.

New from Liz Strauss & GeniusShared Press

It can be hard to find focus sometimes. A few months ago, I was talking with a colleague who was having a hard time finding focus in their work. They spoke of feeling pulled in multiple directions and of many obligations — both at work and with their family. As I listened, I could hear […]

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend. We were sharing stories from days gone by about each of our lives. We hopped from one story to the next — based on what each of us were sharing. It was really an incredible discussion as we were each learning from the other […]

Everyone feels lost sometimes. I don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t been lost in their head at one time or another — even those folks overachieving all over the Internet. We all find those moments that we wonder about who we are and what we want. But the question is not whether everyone gets […]

I felt the more embarrassing fear of people’s judgment. When I decided it was time to write again, I avoided the computer for the longest time. On the rare occasion that I managed to sit myself down to write, I’d get caught up answering email or reading articles around the web, not doing writing I […]