A site of random things and thoughts from a random Emily.

my struggle is real

Every January I briefly think about New Year’s resolutions. Most years of my life I’ve avoided making them because I figured I can’t fail at a goal I’ve never made.

But against my better judgement, in 2015 I decided to make a list of “not resolutions,” and in 2016 I decided to make a list of resolutions with no real defined goals in which to measure them by. Except I guess the plant one (which I failed at based on the fact I have two plants in my house right now: one of which is already a replacement of last year’s Mother’s Day gift from Mason, the other is a dead air plant I’ve decided is way lower maintenance than the alive one it used to be.)

Although, if we assume my goal in 2017 was to survive a newborn+work+two teenagers, I think we can all agree that I did in fact accomplish it.

This year I didn’t even think about New Year’s resolutions until it seemed too late to really make any. (I know, I could still make them now. But “too late” is a pretty good excuse for not having any.) I chalked it up to having a really busy December, but I feel like it was halfway busy, and halfway me just wanting some time where my brain could relax. Like my brain’s internal to-do list was so long it may have short circuited.

So now I find myself here in January–with an ENTIRE MONTH since my last blog post, completely behind on my yearly scrapbook for 2017, still owing writing work for a friend, and not even one half-baked idea for a 2018 goal to get me motivated.

I guess in short I’ve been feeling pretty blah lately. I couldn’t even come up with “highs and lows” when I was talking to a group of friends. Not a single high or a single low. Just traveling at a mellow cruising speed. Meh speed.

So mentally I’ve been kind of like this:

I guess if I think about it, I did make a pretty good goal last November to have a hot chocolate body. And I am doing fairly accomplishing that goal by having hot chocolate as often as my lazy butt can convince my arms to make it (or sometimes I can sweetly convince Tyler to make it. And by “sweetly convince,” I usually say something like, “Did you forget to make my hot chocolate again tonight?”)

Anyway. I’m hoping blogging about the slump helps get me out of it. And back into “normal Emily mode” where my brain keeps adding more things to my to-do list, instead of slacking off on the few things it currently has.

So maybe after all this I should just decide that my 2018 goal should be to stop moping about. I mean, I have really awesome ideas for the blog, I just need the mental kick in the pants to get me over the writer’s block.

Ok, so now I have this meme stuck in my head. Thanks to my teen for keeping me informed of everything that’s “cool” at the moment: