Wednesday, May 23, 2012

6 Weeks

My post-operative journey has been long. Tough. Emotional. More physically painful that I expected. But today, after six weeks of waiting patiently to heal, I got the check-mark and the words I've been waiting to hear. "Go back to living the way you know how, Jodi. Go back to being you."

Today I heard with joy that my sutures are all out. I am healing well. I will continue to have to take it slow. But things are where they need to be. I heard the good news with my ears but it was mouth that was impacted the most. Since that 3:15 pm appointment this afternoon, I can't help but whisper words and songs of praise. I sing to God for He is good. He has been near me. Patient. My comfort.

My thankful heart draws me to His house. His sanctuary. I sit and bask in His word tonight as I am drawn to kneel at the pew of His Church. I drop to my knee as I prepare my mouth and body to partake in the honor of participating in the Lord's table. Such a beautiful gift on a Wednesday night. I take in His sacrifice and it is amazing how my perspective shifts. The "cross" I have been baring these so many long weeks, seems so suddenly small in the shadow of His. Meditating on His act of love does that. It helps us reach out through the fog and see with clearer eyes.

Tonight I remember how blessed I am. Things with my body have been altered. I will never be the same. But the marks I bear have become scars that I am I learning to proudly display. When we cover our wounds they can not heal. We can not heal.

When we share their stories with others, with sisters in Christ, the scars become something different.

They become Sacred.

Instead of spending effort and time masking the lines,
we decide to put down the make-up and give up the concealer.
The scars become our story to knowing Christ.

We finger them as treasures.

My God, you are faithful. Great is your faithfulness. I praise you for WHO you are and WHO you will always be. May you continue to teach me in my frailty. Continue to bless me in the brokenness. May I find you in my weakness.