Good ReadFrom the elf queen Galadriel in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy to her portrayal of Katharine Hepburn in "The Aviator" to the tour de force impersonation of an androgynous version of Bob Dylan in "I'm Not There," Blanchett has chosen challenging parts and won rafts of awards, including a 2004 Oscar for best supporting actress for "The Aviator." -- A Hollywood Elusive (Vanity Fair, Feb. 2009)

Change "Tom Cruise" to "Michael Jackson" in that first sentence and it's 2003 all over again.

I wonder if Heather Mills' new publicists know that part of their job description involves applying naked spray-on tans. (Let's hope they follow the instructions at least as well as Paris Hilton's publicist Elliot Mintz did: http://www.hollywoodgrind.com/elliot-mintz-is-a-big-oompa-loompa/)

I wonder if Becks and Posh are who Gilbert Gottfried is talking about in the joke he tells about 54 seconds in at this (NSFW, obviously) link:
http://www.xomba.com/video_gilbert_gottfried_at_roast_of_bob_saget

Madonna is the biggest concert draw? Who is her audience, 50ish women with big veins and alimony payments?

Mickey Rourke looks like a drag queen in that photo. With Lisa Rinna's lips.

Paul Weller! Man, I am a big fan of The Style Council fan, and now I'm bummed. (Mostly because he looks so old and he's five years older than I.)

I think we need a moratorium on Suri news until she's at least in kindergarten. That and the Katie jeans obsession. Tom, however, is fair game. 10 kids? It's a little late to be modeling your life on the Duggars. What an annoying doof.

I haven't had a chance to read the article, but why is Diddy so desperate to do something for New York City? Paint the ball, pay for cabs... what's next? Re-record the arrival messages for the subway system? If he'd like to do something useful, maybe he could donate funds towards the schools or re-pave a road or buy the Brooklyn Bridge. :|

Whoa! From those photos of Katie, she is obviously not keeping up. Poor girl, what is she gonna look like after 10? Quick call Angie and Brad and get the number of their adoption agent. By the way, I hear Heather Mills old nanny is available.

Woody, are you sure those oats are sown? Geez, 20yrs?!

If he can't paint the town purple, Diddly Poop (I liked that one yesterday, Sas), will give rides to those who can. Wonder if the Cash Cab is picking up on New Year's . Drunk revelers trying to answer trivia, now that would be a good show.

Posh annoyed about Beck's new tat? What happened, did they burn the wrong Spice skin?

Condolences to Lark Previn's family (especialy her young children) over the premature death of their loved one, who according to the article went to great lengths to lead a non-celebrity life, and struggle against illness for a decade.

Anyone else also think Wee Tom's enthusiasm for having way too many kids might be yet another sign of bipolar disorder? Oh, wait, there's no such thing among $cientologi$t$ (or else there's a quack non-drug "cure" for it).

Article that might interest some of the other Lizards as well:
"Oops! She Crashed Again. Why celebrities are such bad drivers"
http://www.slate.com/id/2206100

Lessee, first Poo Diddy wants you to drink lotsa his vodka, then he'll help underwrite the cab ride you'll need home as a consequence. Maybe there's another way. Although, as Murphy Brown famously noted, when it comes to drinking, New Year's Eve is amateur night.

May I second the motion for a moratorium on Suri Cruise pictures? She's a toddler, for goodness' sake, who is obviously scared of the cameras. Plus, the attention just encourages photographers to continue to STALK her. And stalking it is, to have them lie in wait for her every day...

Interesting that all the smokers they "outed" were women. Are women more likely to be closet smokers (they do say the addiction is stronger for us) or is it just still more taboo for women to smoke than men?

Look out guys and gals! The Tom Turkey Baster is on the looser! Please, please keep your full-body condom on at all times!!
Why do you think Katie is wearing those ridiculous stirrup tights?
That goes for you too, Wibbly Dibbly Diddy!

Not EVERY woman wants to be a baby factory like that Duggar woman, who, if I've calcualted correctly, has been pregnant for 13 1/2 years or so.

Until Katie says so, eff Tom Cruise right up his tiny troll-like arse. Wait, he'd prolly like that, eraseeraseerase, change that to force him to watch Losin' It & Legend over & over until he acknowledges those 2 flicks on his resume.

Dr. Hodie, you beat me to the Cash Cab snark. I'm wondering if we could combine this with the Death Cab for Cutie story.
Hmm...Crash Cab?

Thanks to Dorkus, Possum and Yellow Jacket for the snark on Courtney Love, the warning about the Tom Terrific Turkey Baster, and the observation that Salma Hayek is smokin'. Jeese, isn't she still nursing? If I were her kid, the first words out of my mouth would be, "Mom, your boobs taste like an ash tray."

How would one be able to ascertain that Victoria Skeleboobs Beckham is annoyed with Beck? How would her expression differ from the norm?

Does anyone want to place a bet as to how long heather Mills new publicists will last?

I concur with redragon on Mickey Rourke. Exactly how would Mickey trash Sean Penn? By impersonating him? I would certainly be offended if Mickey did that to me.

Lordy...Tom Terrific references.....I'm showin' my age. What would you expect from a silverback cryptid?

Hmm. Remember right before she married Tom-crazy, there were a lot of photos of Katie with some kind of cold-sore/herpes outbreak around her mouth? (I don't mean the kind of herpes Paris Hilton has, I mean the stress-induced kind.) Maybe she's under a wee bit of stress from wee Tom?

Speaking of which ... my vote for quote of the week goes to "They better start thawing out some more L. Ron Hubbard if Wee Tom wants more kids." Heh.

It's fun watching Tom-crazy show how nutty he is, but perhaps HE, like Heather Mills, should consider a new publicist. Or even just a publicist.

How would one be able to ascertain that Victoria Skeleboobs Beckham is annoyed with Beck? How would her expression differ from the norm?

Good point, Sas. So why doesn't Posh smile? Is she afraid that the Ex-lax she must take will kick in at the inopportune moment that she laughs? Is she afraid of frown lines? What other reasons could she have?

Good point, Sas. So why doesn't Posh smile? Is she afraid that the Ex-lax she must take will kick in at the inopportune moment that she laughs? Is she afraid of frown lines? What other reasons could she have?

Posted by: hodie | December 30, 2008 1:36 PM

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Dr Hodie, be glad that you're not in Emergency Medicine anywhere near where Skeleboobs lives. Remember the recurring SNL skit about Applachian Clinic, where all the inbreds come into the clinic with various articles stuick in their rectums?

Well, some poor ER Doc probably has had to remove that pickle that Victoria Beckham has stuck up her butt.

OUCH!!! I have seen cases similar but not w/lightbulbs. I saw a cucumber case once. To continue with the vegatable theme:
A colleague told me the story of a woman from another country who presented with a vine growing out of her, ( I will use the colorful term used earlier today) hooha. Turns out it was an old-country remedy to use a piece of a yam up there to cure infections. Unfortunately, this old lady forgot about it and the warm, moist conditions were perfect for growing sweet potatoes! You should be glad I waited until after the holidays to share this story.

I always hated yams; at least now I have a reason for my irrational distaste, so thank you, Dr. hodie.

Courtney Love is a skank, but I totally love that she smacked down PETA. I hate PETA with a passion so intense it frightens me. They make me want to go out and hunt baby seals. With an AK-47. From a helicopter. You betcha!