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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

We are down to the final four contestants. We are so close to a winner, I can taste it. It tastes like butterscotch and a cigar mixed together. In the last round Alex Trebek got trounced by Pat Sajak. Trebek didn't have a chance. Sean Connery was going to help Sajak win by putting a beehive filled with angry bees down Trebek's pants but Sajak didn't need any extra help. After Sajak won, Connery put the beehive in Trebek's limo. He was heard by fans saying "Suck it Trebek."

Are you ready for the next round? I can't hear you. Okay, I stopped vacuuming, what did you say? I hope you are all wearing your battle bracelets that I made you. Here comes the next round.

"I had sex with Marc Summers' mom, aunt and sister all in the same night."

"Richard Dawson murdered Rod Roddy, I have proof."

"I am not allowed within 100 feet of Vanna White."

"That Powdered Toast Man is the shit, have you read his blog?"

Backstage Comments:

"I thought Bob Barker died."

"Anybody want a pickle pop? I'm buying."

"Why does it smell like butterscotch cigars?"

"I took a dump in Barker's limo"

"I was offered the role of Iron Man but I turned it down because Abe Vigoda said it was a bad idea."

Time to cast your votes. I am only accepting bribes in the form of purple or blue marshmallow peeps. And no flash photography, Marc is easily frightened. Polls close Sunday at 11:59 pm. The next round of the semi finals between Chuck Woolery and Pat Sajak will happen next Tuesday, don't miss it.

I am gonna have to go with Bob Barker. Marc Summers may have youth on his side for this match, but an old man with nothing to lose and a mouth full of polident is more dangerous than the obstacle course on Double Dare!

This contains all the answers to your questions.

Hi, thanks for joining in the antics. This blog is full of random humor and sexy pics of my ferret. Okay, that last part isn't true because I don't have a ferret but If I did I would definitely share those pics with you. If you have come for some cheese, it is currently on back order. I have a ton of crackers if you're interested. Please like my page on Facebook and follow me on Twitter, if you don't than I can't brag to my grandma about being more popular than her. If you want to contact me please email me at reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com.