Welcome to the world of Jenniffer Wardell, author of “Beast Charming," "Fairy Godmothers, Inc," "Fighting Sleep" and more. It's a place where fantasy runs smack into reality (after which they both exchange business cards and hope no one calls the insurance company). Perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett and Mercedes Lackey's "500 Kingdoms" series.

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Friday, October 25, 2013

Fairy Godmothers, Inc. short story: Paperwork

Kate
had thought the one creative writing class she’d taken in college would prove
completely useless. Then she’d started writing Fairy Godmothers, Inc.
assignment reports.

She
hesitated over the mirror’s keypad, weighing her words.

The client, Yvette Longhorn, had not
been told of the Fairy Godmothers, Inc. package her parents had purchased. When
I informed her, she appeared excited by the prospect of working with the
company.

Technically,
it wasn’t even a lie. One of the definitions of “excite” was to “increase the
activity of something.” Throwing a chair was definitely an increase in
activity.

Apparently,
Yvette already had a boyfriend, a fine, upstanding dwarf who worked as a
jeweler a nearby town. Her parents, who apparently had strong views about
inter-species dating, did not approve.

We had a lively discussion about her
personal preferences for the assignment.

Translation:
there was a lot of shouting, and even more of Yvette flatly refusing to listen
to any of the very sympathetic and rational things Kate had to say. She had
valiantly restrained herself from either hitting Yvette with her wand or
turning her into a fashionable hat.

But
it had been close.

Before a second meeting could be
arranged, however, the parents requested an alteration of the original
contract. Per Fairy Godmothers, Inc. regulations, they paid an additional 50
percent of the package cost as a change fee. Neither of the Longhorns stated a
reason for the alteration.

Once
Yvette had shouted herself hoarse, Kate had dragged her to her boyfriend’s shop
and explained the concept of bribery to both of them. Luckily, the boyfriend
was far more sensible than Yvette, and had a grandfather who had done very well
for himself in mining before the family moved down to the city.

The
Longhorn’s compunctions, it seemed, weren’t quite as strong as their desire to
have enough jewelry to blind all of their neighbors.

The Longhorns and Yvette all report 100
percent satisfaction with the resolution of the assignment. Their client
statements are attached below. Yvette also stated that she would recommend the
company to all of her friends.

Particularly,
she would point out that certain Fairy Godmothers were good at handling
difficult parents. Kate thought it best not to mention that part.