It’s hell surviving the double takes

TV & Radio / 24 March 2014, 12:13pm

Lara de Matos

Mark and Corne

If ever there was one word that perfectly encapsulated last night’s instalment of Survivor, “dull” would undeniably be it.

Was it really necessary to put us through what effectively amounted to a full hour-and-a-half’s worth of a recap, with only the odd “new” element around the merge thrown in (as if we couldn’t already see it coming anyway)?

We’re now on day 18… if viewers haven’t tuned in yet, it’s doubtful they will. And for those of us who have been following the show religiously, it left us feeling like dim-witted dunces who need to have every last element spelt out for them in pretty pictures.

#DAVE-ISMS

It’s all very well to spout rationalisations on how “if you don’t play the game, the game will play you”. But if even the king of treachery (aka Shane) sees fit to suggest you “talk less, listen more” and declares he “can see why the other team didn’t want David; he’s a loose canon – of epic proportions”, perhaps it’s time to reassess your approach, Dave.

TOOTSIE TALK

Whaddya know? Oh-so-seriaaas lasses, Vel and Moyra, do have a sense of humour after all!

Their mock imitation of Shane barking out orders for the construction of the new Juara camp provided some much- needed comic relief.

FEATURED FLASHER

With so much rehashing in the works, all our previously featured flashers were out in full force. But just for fun, we’re going to give our fabulous decathlete-slash-wedding-planner an honorary award. After all, it must take serious effort to maintain that Greek God bod, so our boy Zavion deserves special recognition.

MEOW!

And this week’s accolade for cattiness goes to (drum roll, please)… Ah hell, who are we kidding? We may as well change the title of this category to Malicious Marian. Yup, she of the malevolent grin and cuckoo-crazy eyes takes it again with her “I love my tribe, but people’s voices and faces are starting to irritate me” remark.

KEEPING UP WITH CORNE

After a rather colourless start to his captaincy, Corné ultimately proved to be the better commander of the two – not least because he actually took an interest in his tribe (always a plus when you’re tasked with leading a team)!

With Selatan having played the more honourable game to date, we, too, share Corné’s sentiments of “I have one wish, and that’s that you guys stick together”.

FLY FISH

Well Mark, your desperate attempt to remain out of the game might have (moderately) worked while you were flying solo as head of Utara. But you’ve now been caught, hook, line and sinker by the salvation challenges – which you’re required to partake in, whether you like it or not!

Strong man Solly obviously doesn’t grapple with any of the self-esteem issues that plague so many others in society. Here’s a note for future reference the giant may want to take on board though: there’s a difference between confidence and outright arrogance. Oh yeah, and you can write that down, Solly.