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“Zero Dark Fifty” is fast approaching

Nearly two years ago, the world embraced the blockbuster of “Albertageddon“. The tale of young Dominican boy between the ages of 31 and 48 swept through mid-America on a journey westward while tormenting the inhabitants of the Gateway City. And who could forget that irreplaceable soundtrack featuring Aerosmith’s, “I Don’t Want To Miss a Mang”? Mmm.

The epic story resulted in an equally-chilling movie poster and the city of St. Louis mournfully transitioned to post-apocalyptic baseball in the hopes that they would never experience such fear and betrayal on the big screen again. They saw glimpses in 2012′s indie film “Molinatastrophe”, but with the recent departure of Chris Carpenter and another unsigned fan favorite, St. Louis is primed for colossal box office panicking in the coming months.

Click the poster above for the enlarged version.

We hear that the owner of Pappy’s Smokehouse turns in an Oscar-worthy performance.

Side note: tip of the cap to @shaw0n for the “Zero Dark Fifty” suggestion.