Page 1. The colonial family – new conditions

Māori and intermarriage

The first rural families in New Zealand were Māori. As
Māori remained a largely rural people long after the arrival
of Europeans, they play a significant part in this story.
There was some intermarriage between Europeans who took up
farming and Māori women, especially in the early 19th century
and later in specific areas such as Northland and the East
Coast. Occasionally this led to Europeans acquiring Māori
land. Families headed by Māori women tended to retain strong
Māori family traditions. In the 20th century as Māori entered
the rural workforce their family life was shaped by some of
the same forces which affected Pākehā rural
families.

Isolated nuclear families

Colonial conditions in rural areas put strains on the
family. Many migrants had left behind parents and siblings in
the old world. Husband, wife and children were thrown
together on the voyage out, and the nuclear family (just
father, mother and children) was likely to become even more
isolated once they found themselves on a backblocks farm.
Louisa Rose wrote to her sister in 1852, ‘It is indeed a
miserable thing to be so completely cut off from all
relations as we are here.’1

In a few cases rural settlers were able to attract
siblings or friends from home who would come out in a chain
migration. In South Canterbury the extended Brosnahan family
came out from County Kerry in southern Ireland and settled on
land near Kerrytown. But this was unusual. More often
settlers found solace from loneliness in the nuclear family.
The family became, as Charles Hursthouse said, a man’s
‘nearest and dearest friends.’2 Family pursuits –
cards, reading aloud, singing around the piano – were
important leisure activities on the farm.

As siblings grew up they often remained close, as a
comfort against the loneliness of rural life. Kate Squires of
Woodend in Southland actively encouraged visits from her
sisters Bella, Emily and Mary after she was married, and they
usually stayed for long periods. Often the visits coincided
with the pregnancy and confinement of one of the women.
Kate’s sisters were her primary leisure companions.

Too many men

There was a gender imbalance in rural areas. There were
always more Pākehā men than
women in 19th-century New Zealand, but the imbalance was
greater in rural areas. In 1874 outside cities and towns
there were twice as many non-Māori men as women (68,568 men
aged 20 or over; 33,043 women). In some places such as
Marlborough and South Canterbury there were even fewer
women.

Run, boy, run

When a woman arrived at the new settlement of Āpiti in
the Manawatū in the 1880s, a group of bush-fellers were
hard at work. One man rushed up to his employer, saying,
‘Boss, I’m finishing, I want my pay.’ The boss asked what
was wrong. ‘Look,’ said the man, ‘there’s a woman coming,
I’m going further back.’ 3

On the east coast of both islands where there were large
sheep-farming runs many single men were employed as
shepherds, or in short-term or seasonal jobs as shearers or
harvesters. They often lived in ‘men’s quarters’. A few
single women may have been found in the larger homesteads as
domestic servants, and perhaps there was an occasional
married couple. But there were few families and the
institutions of male culture such as hotels and drinking
places were strong.

The respectable classes became fearful of dissolute habits
such as drinking, swearing, gambling and fighting. Women were
seen as having a particularly moral role in improving
behaviour. Charlotte Godley suggested to two bachelors on a
backblocks station that they set up a carefully draped dummy
of a lady to restrain them from ‘semi-barbarous’
behaviour.4