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Dealing With Negative People

“To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals” – Michael Bassey Johnson

At some point in your life you have to deal with negative people, whether it be friends, colleagues, acquaintances or family. What’s important is how you deal with them on the outside and on the inside, because you simply can’t live your life constantly tormented by these people.

Do you know if someone in your life really is negative or just having a bad day? Down below are the signs of someone who is negative, day in and day out:

They tend to worry…more than anyone else

They try to control every situation or person in their path

They constantly look out for danger and bad news

Most of what they do is in secrecy

They prefer to look at the negatives in situations

They feel the need to share bad news….constantly

They can give out criticism..but can’t handle any criticism their way

They tend to complain and whine more than the average person

They never leap out of their comfort zones

They are usually underachievers

They miss out on good things in life, on purpose

They suck out any positive energy from others

They make people around them tense or negative

They find a negative spin on good news

Now, in saying that, some people who are bored or don’t do anything can be like this too; which is why everyone should have a hobby and do something physical at least once a day. To deal with these negative people can be quite taxing on your inner peace and health, but don’t let that deter you from making them know about their behavior and its effects on others. Some tips can include:

Talking to them about their behavior – get them to see what they are doing

Know when to leave and have time to yourself

Set boundaries for them and yourself

Choose your battles, do you side with innocent people or the negative person?

Don’t bother rethinking about the situation

Don’t let their negative thoughts overtake your own thoughts

Know that you don’t have to be around negative people

Smile through their negativity

Don’t show any reactions to them

Ask them if anything positive or good happened in their day

Ask yourself if you are enabling this persons negativity

Keep focus on your own positive energy

Always remember….it’s never your fault that someone else is negative. (Unless you enable them and let them get away with it) Always Always Always keep your positive glow about you as much as you can, we all have down and off days but still give your self the chance to be positive. Life is too big and too short to let negative people take control of you, there are many blogs and stories on the internet and in book form on how to handle these situations.

As I mentioned before, people who don’t busy themselves or do much often focus on negative things. Why? Because it gives them something to do, however it’s not constructive and in the end only hurt themselves and no one else. This leads to being negative all the time, which can be a hard habit to kick. Click here to read about how depression can get you into the habit of thinking negative. As I’ve had clinical depression I can tell you that when you get into the habit of negative uncontrollable thoughts, it really becomes difficult to change yourself to think positive instead; but it is manageable and requires a lot of effort.

What to do when a friend is negative?

Ask them if there is anything going on

Change topic in conversation

Talk to them about the situation

Know that you can leave an unhealthy friendship

Pay attention to anything that may trigger the negativity

Offer them help and support if need be

What to do when a colleague is negative?

Avoid them in your working day

Make a note to your boss/supervisor

Even explain to them the situation

If possible, don’t react to their behavior

Change jobs if it’s too much to handle

What to do when a family member is negative?

Take more control over any conversations, not allowing it to be negative

Make a light hearted joke about what they are complaining about (this sometimes works)

Tell them that what they does bothers you and talk about solutions

Spend time with yourself away from them

Create barriers and set them out clearly

Group/family counselling sessions

I hope this was helpful in your quest on dealing with negative people. All in all if nothing can be done just walk away. Stay tuned for more posts! (feature image from google stock images)