A Closer Look

If you are out there and are reading this, I want to say with open arms, WELCOME to and THANK YOU! for reading my third ever blog post. I'm just me, a man with thoughts and experiences. I enjoy writing this blog for expressing those things.

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My life is not in perfect order (whose is?) and I won't pretend otherwise. My bedroom needs cleaning. My car, vacuuming. My piano, tuning. My cat poops next to his friggin clean litter box for unknown cat-reasons. I have a finite bankroll. And I don't watch the news. BUT I'm happy as fyouck. Give me a PB&J and call it a mofo day. Yes, and sometimes, yet rarely, I get in a mood to use profanities. I am in one of those moods right now. My mom will say she doesn't like this post. I would say sorry not sorry, but screw that overused phrase. "Ding dong the witch is dead". "Pop goes the weasel". What was I talking bout... oh, about the ebbs and flows of time. You know, like how waves crash and roll - our perception of time works the same.

I didn't study the music of one of my all time favorite male artists, Donny Hathaway, until my early twenties. There's one lyric of his that I've been studying for years, and it says, "And heaven's there for those who fool the tricks of time" from The Closer I Get To You featuring Roberta Flack. It's so simple, but what does it truly mean? I wish I could ask him what it meant when it was written. I want heaven! I want to fool these tricks of time so I can get this heaven they speak of. I feel like we've all been figuring this time thing out. I know it is possible! Why is time tricking?

At this point in my journey the sun and my feelings are the only real honest "time" tellers. Three in the morning and noon are not much different. Sleep happens. Songwriting happens. The cycle continues. It's not depressing, despite how I may sound. It's quite liberating! We're all trained to live structured lifestyles based around time. Go to class now, got to work, go to bed... repeat. But what about the person who is an unbounded artist? The person who finds inspiration whenever and wherever they find it. Who creates in the dark and dreams in the light... who are sleepless and alive... are they fooled by the tricks of time?

Around a year ago something happened that I will never forget. I was in the basement of a condo where I was working, in the trash room operating the compactor. There was a wall clock in that room. I've read it hundreds of times. But this one particular day its reading was different. I was looking at it, and I saw the second hand go backwards and then forwards again. For this one quiet moment, where the light shone through the dust particles like strings in a loom. While I was alone in a basement room... Time took a silent breath. A wave with no sound curled its hair and straightened it thin again. And I caught just a glimpse of Time's eupnea.

First, if you are out there and are reading this, I want to say with open arms, WELCOME TO, and THANK YOU FOR READING, my second ever blog post. Since last we met a lot has happened and I've learned that though working hard is very rewarding, relaxing hard can be even better.

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I met a great man recently, Master José Johnson , at my friends' wedding. We were eating and mingling when our conversation began. It was effortless and Jose filled it with timeless wisdom that he so kindly shared with me. He told me about his world renown endeavors, including owning his own Chinese martial arts gym, and being a national champion and master of many art forms and crafts. Master José is also a professional musician. Trumpet is his first instrument. (I love martial arts and music!)

As we were finishing our conversation, one thing that stuck with me, and still bounces around in my head is when Master José said with all honesty and conviction, "Follow your heart." Yes, to many this is as cliché as a statement can get. But when he said this to me it did not come off as such. It was exactly what I needed to hear. It was the exact lesson this great teacher needed to teach me... Follow Your Heart.

As I strive to learn this lesson well, I, like many, have lots of internal questions: What exactly does that mean to me? Why does it seem that everyone else has this rule, this law, this practice, down? And how long am I going to be learning this lesson?

I believe eternal wisdom and guidance whispers softly in the heart, and doubt often loudly interrupts through the mind.

So, what was Master José saying, and how did he know... that I need to amplify this whisper of the heart? Could from a simple conversation he see that my confidence, though high, could be higher ? Could he see the rocky path, the hills and valleys, that I need to navigate in my music life? Could he tell that following my heart was my internal journey of trusting God and leaning more on Him? These questions contain answers in themselves, just as the statement "Follow your heart" contains many illuminating questions.

My bandmates occupy a significant portion of my time and thoughts. If we're not working together in rehearsals or writing sessions, I'm working on these things on my own. I am a musical workaholic, and am always trying to push our project forward. But this month I feel a deep conflict inside. My heart has been saying, despite what is going on around me, "take it easy", "relax", "enjoy time off", "enjoy doing nothing". Meanwhile something else (not in my heart) is saying "taking time off is detrimental to your career", "not working hard is falling back", "other musicians are reaching great milestones while you chill".

These voices are tough to navigate because in a certain time and place they are both true. But in this particular time and place, and perhaps the future will teach me, that the whispers of my heart know best, despite time or place. How can I trust this process, this blip in the grand scheme, if I let my mind allow me to doubt my heart and live in fear. Which I have been doing by even entertaining those thoughts outside of my heart and true intuition.

So here and now I take this stand! I choose to trust my heart, and the path it has already chosen. I know that what I am capable of will only be amplified with the help of the divine. So guess what! There will be a time to grind VERY SOON, but right now, I chill till... And let me tell you, it feels SPECTACULAR!

First, if you are out there and are reading this, I want to say with open arms, WELCOME TO, and THANK YOU FOR READING, my first blog post. I won't continue by saying what I will be talking about. I will say, however, that the day is what you make it, and you are more than your thoughts.

I fell asleep around 2:00 am knowing I needed to be awake by 5:30 am. I am one of those morning persons who likes to take his sweet time getting up and dressed. I love the mornings. I usually give myself an hour to get ready.

For a few months I have been battling that morning voice that says, "I'm tired" "Hit the snooze button" "Today is going to suck because it's early..." We've all been there, haven't we? It's relatively new for me, and I don't like it, and don't like how it is trying to profess itself as my thought, rather than a convincing outside suggestion. But something was in the air this morning that didn't allow me to become victim to these slothful permeations. There was an intention and an audacity in the air. A peace. A plan!

I got into my car and drove slowly to meet my tri-weekly friends in their flower beds, yes, the flowers themselves, to be watered. Well.. I guess it rained last night. Made my morning pretty carefree. I didn't go to the gym or go running.. . ehem I don't have a gym membership. Don't judge me. An unsaid proclamation being everyone expects everyone else to be model citizens with all their every things together, including going to the trendy gym. But maaan, shoot,... I'm working on that gym thing.

Oh, haha, see, I have to laugh. All this just to get to what I want to bring up (working on my focus).... MY BAND MATES AND I ARE WORKING ON A NAME. A new support in my branding. A new band name that will define ONLY my band project. Not all I do as a musician is band oriented. This name enhancement (I don't want to call it a name change because it will just expand and expound upon what we currently have) will also help my guys (Anthony Pompey, Eric Allenson, and Ben High [with an occasional Dave Isaacson]) be more involved with band decisions, songwriting, and overall input in the project.

Overall I think it is pretty exciting. I believe this project, with my band mates, is a place where we can go to be bigger than ourselves. It is a place of creation and musical synergy between friends that elevates not only us, but also you, a listener/fan/friend, to remind us/you that it is okay to take time away from life, even if everything is fine, to sit back - and say - I am noble, regal, worthy, and capable of better in all I do. And watch everything rise from that solid ground.