The four famous paranormal investigators, the Ghostbusters (Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler, and Winston Zeddemore) along with their secretary (Janine Melnitz) have been transported to a place that Ray identifies as the Digital World from the anime Digimon; the five have been regressed in age to pre-teens and given some of the powers of the DigiDestined from the show's fourth season.

Turns out they were brought to the Digital World by Ophanimon, the Celestial of Light, to help defeat an enemy called "the Master of the Dark Network". Veemon, a different one than the one on TV, has been sent to guide them to the Wind Terminal, and reawaken the slumbering Celestial of Hope, Seraphimon...but just after they do that, the aforementioned "Master"--Etemon--shows up. The five Legendary Warriors and Veemon--who Digivolves to Veedramon--fight Etemon's minions, but are defeated by the Dark Network Concert Crush.

Etemon absorbs most of Seraphimon's data, but Leomon saves the Celestial from total destruction. He is not so lucky saving himself when Etemon uses Seraphimon's power to become KingEtemon; the Ghostbusters are forced to flee, taking what is left of the Angel of Hope with them in a mad dash.

The Digital World

"This just bites..." Peter Venkman muttered to himself ruefully.

Just a few hours ago, he was watching Digimon on television. Well, actually, he was watching friend and coworker Ray Stantz watch it. But whatever the semantics, he was now living it.

Ray and the brains of their outfit, Egon Spengler, had suggested that maybe this was all some sort of elaborate plot to crack open the Ecto Containment Unit. Whatever the reason, all he knew was that he was now in some sort of awful parallel world where he and his friends were suddenly pre-teens, being chased by giant bugs and dinosaurs, and he could turn into some sort of superhero called "Agnimon" Well, okay, that part's kind of cool...

"How much longer till we get there?" he asked, apparently into the thin air around him.

"Another hour or two." a voice replied.

Venkman, his comrade Winston Zeddemore, their accountant Louis Tully, and mascot Slimer (the latter two having been transformed into Digimon named Bokomon and Neemon) were travelling aboard another Digimon, a giant train called "Trailmon."

Having been a train enthusiast since childhood, Venkman had to admit this was kind of cool too. Now if Ray had just told me there would be living trains here...

Part of what made him nervous (as though he wasn't nervous enough for being dropped, and not for the first time, into some cartoon) were the weird characters sharing the Trailmon with them.

One of them was creepy enough all by himself, being uncomfortably reminiscant of their enemy, KingEtemon, in that he was a primate who sounded like an Elvis impersonator. He was a real ape instead of a mutant sock monkey, though, with bright yellow fur and a big stick lashed to his back.

"And Ah told you, I don't want any of your stupid donpachi!!!" Hanumon was yelling at his smaller cohort, and throwing the smaller Digimon's candy back at it.

The Digimon on the other side of the two dueling mutants sighed with exasperation. She was a small one that looked like a plant, and the voice she sighed in was very high pitched, and a little breathy. "I swear, I can't take them anywhere..."

"What about some churros?" Thunderballmon said, getting in Hanumon's face.

Venkman and Winston just looked at each other. "You have got to be kidding me..." Venkman finally said.

"You got that right." Winston agreed.

"It is our mortal enemies, whom we've never met before!!!" Hanumon shouted, now somehow wearing a ballcap that he made a production of twisting backward. "Thunderballmon, I chose you!!!"

Thunderballmon jumped out of the Trailmon, and charged the two intruders, shouting "Thunder!!! Thunder thunder thunder!!!" all the way.

Hanumon cried. "Thunder Volt!!!"

"Thundeeeeeeeer!!!" Thunderballmon shouted, sending an electrical attack flying. It knocked Zephyrmon out of the sky.

"Shut up, you little unchi..." Korikakumon snarled, smacking the smaller Digimon with one of his axes. Thunderballmon was sent flying.

"Looks like Thunderballmon is blasting off again..." Hanumon said.

Palmon leaned out of the Trailmon. "YOU'RE IN THE WRONG MONSTER TAMER ANIME FOR THAT, IDIOTS!!!" she shouted, in obvious exasperation.

Korikakkumon turned to Zephyrmon. "You okay?"

"Yeah..." Zephyrmon replied. "It just took me by surprise more than anything else..."

Hanumon jumped out of the Trailmon. He was now wearing a red costume. "We need the Flying Jelly Attack, now!!! Go go Digi Rangers!!!"

"Plasma Rod!!!" Zephyrmon replied, blasting Hanumon before he could get the jar of jam he was holding open.

"Now then...any of the rest of you gonna put up some trouble?" Korikakkumon snarled with gleeful menace.

"Just when I thought this place couldn't get any stupider..." Venkman shook his head.

"Obtain their Fractal Codes" the female voice they'd heard before, the one Veemon had identified as "Lady Ophanimon", came out of Venkman and Winston's Digivices. "Zephyrmon and Korikakkumon are the Beast Spirits of Wind and Ice. If you procure them, your friends will attain greater power..."

"I think that goes along with what I was thinkin' anyway..." Winston smirked. "Shall we, Doctor Venkman?"

"Let's shall, Doctor Zeddemore..."

"But Winston isn't..." Louis started to say.

"Who are these two jackasses?" Zephyrmon sneered as Winston and Venkman got off the train.

"With that foul mouth, it's no surprise you're Janine's other Spirit..." Venkman retorted. "I'd say pick on someone as ugly as you two are, but I used that gag already..."

"Either hand over your valuables or get pounded." Korikakumon snarled.

The two robbers began to distort, the fractal codes swirling around them.

"I think this is where we do that 'Obtain their fractal codes' bit..." Lobomon suggested.

"It still sounds dirty to me." Agnimon joked.

A few seconds later, the Beast Spirits were contained in Winston and Venkman's Digivices, and lying on the ground in Korikakumon and Zephyrmon's places were a little white dinosaur and a bird with singed pink feathers.

"I smell burnt feathers..." SnowAgumon groaned.

"Shut up..." Biyomon snarled.

"Looks like Team Blizzard is blasting off again..." Venkman smirked, high-fiving Neemon.

"I hope Ray, Egon, and the others are doing okay..." Winston wondered to himself, looking at the sky.

Elsewhere

Egon Spengler studied the forest around him. He couldn't even remember how long he'd been running since they fled Seraphimon's castle. He looked at his Digivice again, wondering if there was some way to use it to contact the others. So far, he had been unsuccessful, but that didn't keep him from continuing to try.

He turned back to the makeshift campsight he and Janine had set up once they felt safe in assuming that KingEtemon hadn't sent an army of giant dinosaurs to follow them. "How's he doing?"

"He seems to be breathing..." Janine answered. "But Adonai, this place is screwy. How a giant angel can turn into this..."

Lord Seraphimon, Celestial of Hope--or what was left of him after Etemon absorbed a vast chunk of his power--lay on the ground, and did indeed seem a far cry from the armored angel lord. He was now an oblong, roundish creature the size of a large cat, with four stubby legs and a set of wings coming out of where his ears might have normally been, with a soft furry pelt in two-tone orange and tan.

Egon shook his head. "Ray's the one who understands all of this. Hm...the Digivice is registering Seraphimon's new configuration..."

"Patamon?" Janine repeated. "He looks like a giant flying gerbil..."

"Perhaps so." Egon agreed. "But he's still also knows far more than we do about this place. Perhaps he will have some idea how we can contact Peter and the others, not to mention finding this 'Ophanimon' being..."

"Ungh...I feel like the floor of a taxi cab..."

"I know this situation is tiring, Janine, but..."

"Egon...I didn't say anything..."

The two humans looked at each other, then back to where Patamon lay. The little Digimon was now awake, and when he finished a huge yawn he stared at both of them with his very large blue eyes.

"You two look so much bigger than before..." Patamon spoke. Shockingly, his voice's pitch and tone were indistinguishable from the very confused Janine Melnitz's.

"Fascinating..." Egon mused.

"Fascinating?" Janine said. "What is this? Is the flying hamster trying to mock me or something?"

Patamon looked hurt. "What? Of course not...I just..." he looked down at himself. "Now this makes sense--you're not bigger, I'm smaller. You saved me before Etemon could absorb all of my data and destroy me, but I still lost enough that I was regressed to my Rookie level form."

"And the voice?' Janine asked suspiciously.

"Hey, lay off! This is how I talk in this form!!! It's my natural voice, I swear! Ask Ophanimon when we find her!!!"

Janine cast a skunk eye at Egon. "You had better not be laughing about this..." He was, indeed, holding his hand over his mouth to prevent just such a reaction. "And I swear if you ever tell Dr. Venkman about this..."

"Anyway, er...Patamon. We are supposed to find this Ophanimon?" Egon said, trying to get the conversation back on track.

Patamon shook his head (really more the front part of his body, as there was no distinct neck). "So much of my data was stolen...my memories are scrambled, but...I seem to remember the phrase 'Rose Morning Star'."

"Perhaps more memories will resurface in time. Transformations such as this can be expected to produce a certain degree of confusion..."

"Egon knows what he's talking about here." Janine rolled her eyes affectionately. "Beetlemon isn't the first time Egon's been turned into something strange. He's been turned into a Netherworld spirit, a cartoon character, a Hulk-like monster, and even a werechicken..."

"Werechicken?" Patamon considered the concept. "Now that sounds wierd..."

"Says the flying gerbil."

"WereKokatorimon..." Patamon chuckled, rolling on the ground. "Ophanimon knows how to pick'em!"

"Unglaublich...that one as talented as myself is going to die so so unspectacularly..."

The small green bird fluttered furiously, dodging amongst the trees.

"You ain't gonna get away from us forever, Falcomon!!!" a loud voice shouted. "Howling Star!!!" There a sound of whirring, and trees breaking apart.

The sound was much too close for Falcomon's comfort.

"I'll burn this whole sprocking forest down around you if I have to!!!" a different, but no less angry voice, added.

"Mein ass is about to become Geschichte..."

He flew further, trying to muster all of the speed he could, but he knew it was only a matter of time...

Then he got a different shock as he flew into a clearing. A Rookie Digimon and two other creatures he didn't know what to make of. "Vas ist?!" he managed to cry out before, so surprised by what he saw, he hit a tree hard.

"...Digivice identifies it as a Falcomon, another Rookie level Digimon." a deep voice said

"I think he's waking up." a higher voice said.

"Are you all right?" the same higher voice said, though he could swear it came from the other side of him.

"Ja...Ich bin..." Falcomon fluttered his eyes open. "Vas ist..."

"You hit that tree hard--I take it you were in a big hurry?" one of the creatures he couldn't quite identify...the one in the lavendar and the red hair...said.

"I wish we had some recovery chips..." the Rookie Digimon--a Patamon--said, in the exact same voice as the lavendar creature.

"They do sound alike." the other unidentifed creature, the taller one with the fairer man, informed him. "What happened?"

"What..." Falcomon jumped up. "Die Codes..."

"Don't get up!" Patamon shouted. "You're still hurt!"

"Waitaminute..." the redhaired on muttered. "His name's Falcomon and he has a German accent?"

"You don't understand! I was being chased, and if they catch up they'll..."

Practically on cue, there was a loud crash, and a blast of heat.

"Get down!!!" the taller being shouted, putting himself in the way.

"Oh sheist..." Falcomon inhaled.

His pursuers lumbered out of the bushes. One was walking upright, with a muscular build and dark red armor accented with bits of silver and gold. He had a dragonlike appearance, with wings that resembled fire and a long tail.

Egon was coming to a similar conclusion. Comparing KendoGarurumon to Lobomon, KendoGarurumon has greater power but less speed.

But Beetlemon's host was not a brawler on his best day. KendoGarurumon pressed his firepower advantage, catching the physicist/Warrior of Thunder in a fussilade of Wolf Fang Laser attacks...Egon zigged when he should have zagged, and took one blast dead on, knocking him into a tree hard.

Which in turn brought a moment of distraction to Kazemon. "Egon!" she shouted.

BurningGreymon and KendoGarurumon turned to face him. "Pretty brave of you, Falcomon..." KendoGarurumon had to admit.

"Yeah...I would have expected a chickenshit little....chicken like you to have cut and run while we were busy with the light work..." BurningGreymon gloated.

"You still have to deal with me!" Patamon shouted. "Boom Bubble!!!"

The Boom Bubble glanced off of BurningGreymon's armor without any effect. The giant monster ofhandedly swatted Patamon away.

I should have run... Falcomon admitted to himself. But why couldn't I? I don't know these people...they don't know me...but they jumped right in and fought to save my sorry tailfeathers from these two monsters...if only I could repay the favor...if only I could save them...

"You annoyed us for the last time, Falcomon..." KendoGarurumon sneered.

"Prepare to become one with the Codes." BurningGreymon leered. "And maybe my new feather duster..."

And then Falcomon felt it. In the moment he felt regret...in the moment he wished to save these people who had protected him...he felt a new, unfamiliar light welling within him.

The transformation made him much larger, more feral, almost dinosaur-like, with large wings tipped with clawlike blades, and boney highlights.

"Diatrymon!!!!"

"What the shock..."

Diatrymon was as surprised as anyone by his sudden transformation, but kept his wits about him enough to know that this was exactly the chance he was praying for. So don't blow it, Dumkopf... 'DESTRUCTION ROAR!!!"

The blast threw KendoGarurumon and BurningGreymon back.

"Mega Dash Impact!!!" Diatrymon cried, taking to the air and bodily divebombing the two confused opponents.

"You all right, Egon?" Kazemon said, helping Beetlemon up.

"I'll live. I fear combat will never be my strong suit, even as a Digimon..."

"That's because you're a lover, not a fighter." She smirked at him.

"Um..." Thank Einstein I can't blush in this body...

"Is that Falcomon?" Kazemon asked.

"Yes." Patamon, now more or less back to his senses himself, confirmed. "Though he's Diatrymon now..."

"Fascinating." Beetlemon mused. "Presumably derived from diatrymiformes, an order of now-extinct birds that included carnivorous, flightless birds known as the 'birds of terror.'..."

At that point, with Kazemon, Beetlemon, and Diatrymon working together, the result was pretty inevitable. A few minutes later, BurningGreymon and KendoGarurumon lay in a defeated heap, fractal codes whirling around them.

Special thanks to:
--Ogremon, for his advice and assistance in the story
--Princess Artemis, who's Pokemon crossover "Post Apokelyptic Horror" helped inspire this story.
--The Shining Evolution. Egon's dissertation on Diatrymon's name origin comes pretty much word for word from Celebi's listing on it.
--Nthuleen.com for the Rock Me Amadeus lyrics. Song written by Rob and Ferdi Bolland and Falco.
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