Finally, a piece of office equipment that quickly and efficiently turns used printer paper into rolls of toilet paper. That's right, The White Goat -- wait, The White Goat? WTF kind of name is that? Because goats can eat tin cans?

Just pop in about 40 sheets of paper, and wait for 30 minutes, and you'll get a nice toilet roll for your efforts. The process involves shredding the paper, after which it is dissolved in water, thinned out, dried and wound into toilet rolls. Pretty cool. The company says it costs 10 Yen ($0.11) to churn out 1 roll, and regular usage of this machine will save up to 60 cedar trees annually. This would probably be a great machine to boost your eco credentials, though there is one snag: you might be cool with it being 1.8m tall and weighing 600kg, but it'll be priced at $100,000 when it goes on sale in Japan this summer.

Listen, I'm all for recycling, but if I'm going to wipe myself with a TPS report, I wanna still be able to read the words. Sure it'll feel like hell on your ass and you'll almost certainly clog the commode, but you just wiped with an actual TPS report. So, yeah, put that next to your CAUTION: WET FLOORS sign and slip on it!