Monday, 29 February 2016

Isn’t it such a wonderful thing to do at the end of each
month? Look back and reflect. Be thankful for the good things and be happy that
bad times have passed. It also helps you to count your blessings at the same
time. Doesn’t it?

Let’s go back and see how February treated me.

Thankful for the Book: Finally seeing my work in print, is something that I can't express. I know, it's not that big a deal for many, but for me it is. I haven't been reading since my childhood. I developed the reading habit quite late (in my grads), because I realized it's a good thing to inculcate. And one should read, in order to write good. That's the reason why I suck at reading books. I really have to make an effort to pick up a book and read it to the full. I know it sounds weird, but that is just how it is. If the books turns out to be nice, it makes things easier for me. And writing! It was never on my mind.. Ever! I never thought I'd write and blog and get published and stuff. There are so many well established authors and writers who have published their work so many times, but when it's the first, it always has its magic. And now, it's something I love to discover every single day and want to do more of it. Exactly 2 years before, I was at my lowest. I lost my confidence, there was no zeal to do anything, the negativity topped everything, but I refused to give up. I think it sums up everything.

For Good days- Staying together with each other makes a lot of things comfortable. Days like Valentines don't really matter. It's the togetherness that counts. And this time, it was all about a road trip, best friends's company, a few pictures, a lavish dinner, what else can one call for? There was a time when I literally cursed everything, and there came a night when I wanted to end my life, but the bright side was it opened my eyes for a lot of things. After that night, everything literally changed! Me, my perspective, my attitude, and that is the best gift I gave to myself. As they say, one has to go through the worst in order to bring out the best. Well, I guess, the best is yet to happen, but it still was the best till date.

Meeting a Friend- O yes! That was the best part. My school friend, my best friend, had come here. In my city. Only for me! And it was wonderful. We had a great time together and we chatted non stop all day. It was bliss.

Ignoring Books but finally watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S- Okay, stop judging me! I hadn't watched Friends until now. I don't know how it got missed. But as its said, better late than never. And that is what kills my time mostly, but I thoroughly enjoy watching it. Reading has totally taken a back seat, but I'll resume to it as early as possible.

For the love of students and taking classes- One day I really had to scold a student, and my student also realized the mistake, but I was the one who felt more bad. I don't like to scold, but things were getting out of hands, and I had to speak up, for them and for the class. And after that day, it kind of built the bond even more strong. Going to teach them everyday is therapeutic.

Attending a Golden Jubilee- One of my relatives completed their 50 years of togetherness! Can you believe that? I mean these days it's a rare thing to see. And the couple, they are very close to my heart. Their family had come together to celebrate their love with close people. And it was such a beautiful event. There were pictures of them 50 years back and they looked unbelievable. What a wonderful feeling it must be, to grow old together? To be with each other through thick and thin, to see other other every single day, without realizing how things change. I so dream of celebrating our 50 years together, A and I, what an incredible feeling it would be!

Much desired photo shoot- I've always had a desire to get a photo shoot done. And it finally happened this month. No, it wasn't the professional kinds, but a decent one for sure. My cousin is really fond of photography, and was participating in a contest for the same and was looking for a model. Now how could I say No to her? Of course, I said yes.. Happily!

O there's More..

My Munchkin

I watched Neerja, and you should too if you haven't. It is a brilliant movie that has come this February.

March will be full of colors, happiness, food and family. And I am so looking forward to it.

Friday, 26 February 2016

“O let’s drive that beauty! It’s my dream. Open air, right
under the sky, I long, to be with giant wheels and a big steering, the kind of
vehicles, they drive in movies. And now its right in front of me, calling me to
touch it, sit on it, drive and feel it!”

“O shut up! You and your fantasies! Nobody’s driving it and
that’s final”

She smiled at what he
said, realizing her dreams never really meant! She took it in her hands, and drove
it really fast, till she crushed him to death, for interrupting her plans!

Monday, 22 February 2016

Are you married just yet? If yes, then you’re lucky for a while, but not for long. But let’s just say you’re married for 2 years now and I’m sure you must be bombarded with hell lot of unsolicited advice for taking a step ahead in your life, starting your own family and having a baby.

I am married for 3 years now and will celebrate my 4th anniversary this year in October. I’m sure you must have got a hunch about things must have been at my end when it comes to starting my family. Certain reasons sound okay, while certain sound just as funny.

In the first place, I feel, who are you to tell me about how to go about things in life? Especially, a thing as personal as this? And this comes from a set of people with whom I barely talk, we hardly communicate and know each other. We don’t know each other and here you come, unabashedly giving all the not-so-required suggestions. And the nosy relatives! You know how poky they get when it comes to others business.

Let me throw a few statements that I get. They may be instances as well that I’m telling you.

-So once, we wanted to buy some furniture for my MIL’s room. And after scouting a number of shops, we finally found the right shop and the right piece that we were looking for. This took 2-3 days, visiting a couple of shops and finally placing the order at the right shop. After signing the deal, on our way to home, I was really happy and relieved that we could finally make the choice and was pondering about the same while driving. And while on the way, I also learned that just the way it took so many efforts for us to find the right furniture, it will surely take a bit time and effort to make a baby! I mean what logic is this? Or maybe the logic is correct, but what timing was that? We were talking about furniture and then automatically the entire topic now shifted towards family planning! While I was secretly thinking in my head to cancel the next place we had to go and raised the speed to reach home as early as possible.

- One Sunday evening, while watching a movie together with family, during a break, A, asked if we could go to the mall to buy some stuff. Now one thing with A, is that he can’t shop during sale period (and it was sale period then). Also, when the place is too crowded, he’s not able to shop again. He would move around, look up some stuff but won’t buy because the place is stuffed with too many people. And that was the reason I was a bit reluctant to go. His parents asked him what he wanted to buy, to which he casually replied, nothing specific, just general time pass. We were anyway home, watching TV all day so it would be a bit of change. To this, we get to hear, that we should surely have kids now so that we’ll not get bored and won’t do unnecessary time pass! While they as well have nothing to do most of the times! So having a baby would resolve a lot of things! Again, what he proposed and what answer he got were two completely non-related things.

- Or let’s just say, no one is getting married this year, so that’s the best time to have a baby. Coz next year X may get hooked up, the other year Y and then Z. So no time later. But this year looks completely free and empty. How about filling it up with a baby? Well, how about completing it with yearly goals, learning a new thing, excelling in work, increasing the number of work hours so that there’s no time at all to get bored?! Just because no one is getting married or there are couple of weddings lined up next year, this year is the best to have a bun in the oven sounds completely absurd to me.

-Because you were the first one to get married and now your friends have started having kids, though they got married after you! Is it a competition of ‘who makes baby first?’ that is going on? Had that been the case, A said, marriage wasn’t the thing that was required. Babies could be made out wedlock as well! (O I am so glad he backs me up every time this topic comes up).

- Coz before 30, you should have two kids with a minimum gap of three years between the kids and you are already running out of time! Du-uh! I am 27 and I have ample amount of time! And who said we want two kids?

I know it’s an important part of life and I’ll do it only when A, and I feel comfortable about this. Other than us, I don’t think anyone has got any right to pester, lecture us about it every other day!

How about eating good food, hanging out with friends, partying occasionally, working your ass off the whole week while relaxing and chilling on Sundays, all of these sound great deal to me. As of now. It may get changed later, of course.

While the reasons are never ending and the advice are plenty, I’m sure you too must have faced this during social gatherings or family events or in your daily life. Certain reasons do make sense, while most of them are absurd, idiotic, and laughable at the same time.

What do people say to you? Do they bug you with such inquiries and unsolicited advice? Is it the same or you face something different? Do you answer back right away? Let me know if you do, coz I really need some new answers and I might just use yours.

Piippiipp... Piipppiipip... Piiipppiiipip..What the hell it is? It’s 3
in the morning. Why am I even listening to this alarm?

“Gee..; get up. We got to catch
the train. The alarm is ringing”

“O yeah! Dammit! I completely forgot. You get up first, please”

“Okay 5 minutes more”

“Okay”

After 5 minutes

“Get up, you said you will”

“Yeah. I know”

Yes! I get to sleep a bit more. Happiness.

Sleeping at 1.30 in the morning
and getting up at such an unearthly hour at 3.30 again, only to catch a train
at 5 seems like the futile thing to do. Where
are we even going? And why? O yeah! To Delhi.. to attend his friend’s wedding!
But why to catch a train this early? Can someone ask my inner goddess to
simply shut up and stop with all the gazillion questions in the morning!

Yeah, now it feels peace.

When it comes to travelling, I
really dread leaving early mornings! O no, I don’t fear getting up. That I can
handle very well. But what about getting fresh? No, not the toothbrush
toothpaste wala fresh.

You got what am I talking right?
No? You didn’t? Okay, okay, I am talking about doing the daily ritual that
makes us all feel fresh all day, only, if we get fresh in the
morning!

Still not clear? O God.. now
don’t judge me for saying things explicitly. I am talking about shit! Poop! Yes.
Potty, to precise! It is so important to do it, for all of us, every day, in
the morning! Without eating anything!

O! Voila..! I finally said
it.-----feeling light :P

Everyone has their own body clock
and their systems work different. There are people, who go to shit, the moment
they get up from bed. Lucky they are!

There are ones who have lukewarm
water or other substitutes (tea/coffee) first and then shit. These are the ones
who have a set time at which their morning ritual functions. And the system
doesn’t drop anything, at all, if called at an unearthly hour (if you know what
I mean ;)) and then there are the ones who don’t do it in the morning. They do
it when it comes!

Okay, I know I’m running the risk
of getting called dirty here. But never mind.

I come in the second category. My
body clock has a certain time, and anytime before that (specially as early as
3), I know my body will ditch. For sure. But that’s not what worries me. What
makes me anxious is the fact that what if I feel pressure during the journey?
You know the state of Indian railways right? Or what if it doesn’t come at all?
My entire journey would get ruined. Yes, that’s how it works me. I feel cranky all day.

I hate this trip. I hate this man. I hate this hour. And I hate his
friend. Plus, I haven't had my shit yet! Urgghh!

Nevertheless, we reached the station
and boarded the train at 5. It was supposed to leave in 5 minutes, but it
didn’t. Now did I tell you that we were travelling in First AC coach? Me for
the first time, to be precise.

When we entered our cabin, the other passengers were obviously sleeping. Trying not to disturb them, the attendant
helped us settle with our luggage and stuff and we were all set within minutes.
Sweet guy he was. But hey, hey, hey1 It's Indian Railways! It can't be perfect!

A, took the lower berth and I the
upper one. I sat on his berth for a while, waiting for the train to start. A was
wondering what I was doing then, and why wasn’t I going on my berth. I told him
I had to pee and so was waiting for the train to move. We’re not suppose to use the loo, when the train is at halt right? It
stinks so much if at halt.

Moments later, the train started
moving and I finally made way towards the toilet. I don’t know what had gotten
into me, but I just moved and saw a board that said “Western Commode” and I
clearly chose the other door, opposite to that. The attendant outside, was
trying to say something, (OOaauuu uuuooumm) which I definitely ignored. When I
went inside, I realized the area was pretty compact. It was anything but toilet
(neither Indian nor Western!). I wondered for a few seconds and then saw a hand
faucet. With the option of warm and cold water. It took me a few more moments
to realize I was standing in the Shower room! But since when does train have shower rooms? Or rather, who takes shower
in the train? I instantly came out. And then the attendant said again,
“Madam, shower room”. (realizing
what he was saying before) What a jerk I was.

Unwillingly, I entered the Western
Commode. God, why no Indian commode here?
It must be so dirty. And then it’s pretty risky as well. God help me!

Wooosh! What am I seeing?! A
western commode in the Indian Railways, shining like a newly wedded bride! Okay
that’s too much of the exaggeration. But it was ultra clean. With a toilet
paper, neatly rolled, thick liquid hand soap, a clean basin and guess what?
Best of all, a hand shower!!

Yes..!! A hand faucet in a working condition.
Again in the toilet of rails! And this is not the end. There’s more to it.
Guess what? It had flush as well! Woohoo! I mean can you beat that? I was so
thrilled. Just seeing the toilet made my journey. I know it’s pretty weird. But
given the fact, how paranoid I was getting, I knew my journey would now be
light and happy! :D

When I was back in the cabin, A,
could see the excitement and happiness on my face. And he was confused more
than surprised to see such a big grin right after coming from, you know where!

He asked me the reason for the
same and all I could say was, “A, it’s not patri
wali” (A, it’s not the railway track ones) and I couldn’t stop laughing and
he too laughed a little and shhhddd me. People
will listen, be slow! But I just couldn’t stop myself from laughing. I mean
what a doofus I was. And I was waiting for the train to move, to go for my
nature’s call.

Okay, so that means I can go even when the train was at halt. Yes!

As I couldn’t do my morning
ritual at home, I did it during my journey, with so much ease and peace. Oh
God, what a relief it was! Pure bliss.

I took a nap for a while and then
got up. We got the newspaper and breakfast was served. On a separate stool and
a personal assistant to take care of the needs. Just the way it happens in a
flight. How we have the liberty to press the button and the attendants come to
get us, that’s the way how it was there. And that guy, who attended us and
served us breakfast and everything, he was so cute. He looked decent, and
simple, educated and cute!What the hell was he doing there? Sweet!

Our journey was full of
refreshments and goodies and an immense amount of satisfaction and respect for
Indian Railways. The cabin was spotless, the service was impeccable and the
refreshments and breakfast too were edible. And the toilets, O they were
heaven! They were my saviour and the highlights of the journey. For the first time.

It was a delightful experience.
And of course, I made proper utilization of resources! ;) :P :D

P.S: The train was Kolkata
Rajdhani and the experience there was exemplary!

The state of Indian Railways has
really changed. And it’s quite a visible one. Don’t you think?

How are your experiences when you
travel in a train? Especially with the long journey? Don’t you see the changes
at railways stations and in the trains? Share your words and I’ll be more than
happy.

Monday, 15 February 2016

Marriage is an
eye opener for many, I believe. And I say this because it kind of opened my
eyes too. There was a time when I thought life comes to a full stop post
marriage, that there’s not much to rejoice and live your life to the full after
marriage, that if there was anything at all it was before the D-day (not that I
haven’t enjoyed myself before marriage, but just a few pre –conceived notions I
had) and I am so glad to be wrong (for a change) about this.

I, for one,
started my life after my marriage to be honest. All my wishes, all my desires,
my aspirations started taking shape after I got married. Not that being married
was one.

And with time I
realized what all things I was capable enough to do.

I am driving
from quite a long time, but the real challenge came up when I started taking
the classes. You just can’t guess the area where the institute is located and
you barely have any idea about the kind of traffic that exists there. Every city
has an old city and a new one and the place where I teach is located in the
older one. And so, people there aren’t any younger either (or their mentality
for that matter)!

When I have to struggle to reach my destination, I come
across lots of vehicles parked incorrectly (by men), which block the traffic so
often, over speeding youngsters on bike (boys) who disturb the entire flow of
driving, the rickshaws, the
pedestrians, and mind you, the place where I go is full of men. You will barely
see any woman in sight, and the kind of looks that I get from all those starry
eyes! That’s a woman who is driving. She
doesn’t know how to park the car. She doesn’t know how to drive well. How is she
handling that car? And what not?!

Well, I am not bragging here about myself
or anything, but I drive way better than many men on the road. I obey all the
rules, I follow the traffic lights, I don’t drive rash, I don’t just shatter
away like crazy! That tiny space where I park my car every single day, most men
refuse to admit if that place is capable of accommodating my car! Wearing formals
and carrying a bag doesn’t mean I can’t do stuff that men are supposedly do.

We’re
surrounded by it. Everywhere. 69% of men agree
that their judgement of women is based on their looks.64% of
women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to
reach their true potential.

70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from
family members or friends rather than strangers.

72%
of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their
clothes than housewives.

Yes.
These are real statistics. There was a wonderful video I came across last week
and it got viral too on social media that asked the audience to guess the hobby
of the girl based on her looks. I’m sure you must have seen it but if not, you
can check it here.

Did you see how things function around us?

When
we see a woman carrying a child, we assume she must be home, she has no life,
she’s probably not happy, her husband is not supportive and what not! When we see
an old woman with an old man who’re probably dating or discovering each other,
well it’s obviously budhaape mein ash kar
rhe hain (having fun in the old age) that comes to the mind. When we see
girls wearing too much of makeup, or wearing too short clothes, or too funky
hair, or too dark lipstick, or too many rings and bangles and bracelet and hair
colour! What about seeing too many boys with one single girl? What about being
friends with only boy? Sounds odd? And then fashion! My goodness! Hair
extensions.. No way! What about piercing? Under the lips, below the eye brow,
and how about a tattoo? Right beneath your shoulder where you can flaunt it
easily. Of course, she’s a hippie! She may not have a character as well, don’t
you think? And that where it needs to stop.It’s not our bloody
business to know what and why she wears, who she dates, who she sleeps
with, is she having a child, is there some medical problem, and what not?! Oh
and the one’s with the nannies, well, that’s their choice totally. They’re
probably not as efficient as you and need some help or even if she is efficient
enough, she does not like doing it by herself and so has hired a maid, big deal! It’s her life and she is the
one who gets to decide what should be done and what not! One really needs to
learn to mind their own business.

There
was a time when I used to cook regularly and the looks that I used to get from
kins around, Oh you cook? What a boring
thing to do and what a boring life you have! Only cooking! Who does that these
days? Very homely she is. We can’t be like this. Thank God we have a staff! And
now when I don’t and have someone who does that, it’s like, What a spoilt brat? Doesn’t even cooks! It’s
so shameful! I mean where should one go? One can never satisfy the society.
Best is to ignore all of it and do what you feel is right, what your conscience
allows! Simple.

Nobody
will notice how well are you doing at your work, how hard are you trying to
make your day a productive one, all one cares and notices of, she gets to stay out all day, she has a car
all by herself for as much as she wants, she doesn’t has to cook, nobody says anything
to her, she wears jeans and all the clothes of her choice and the list is
endless.

I
drive. I drink (O I don’t drink and drive of course!), I wear red lipstick, I
don’t have kids, I’ll plan them when I’ll feel it’s the right time to do and
not when you will ask me to, I love to wear sarees,
I love to take care of my family, I love to dance, crazy dance, on loud
music, I love to party, I have friends, guy friends as well and I talk to them,
but I am capable of working my ass off all day and then attend guests at night,
I am capable of standing one feet all day to get my work done, even in the night
if required, I know my commitments and
they will always be priority first no matter what comes in. I am capable of
giving unconditional love to my loved ones and it’s the joy of loving them and being
loved in return. I am ambitious, may be a bit too much for you to handle, but
that’s your problem. Isn’t it?

I’m
sure you too face things like these every day, so tell me what is your story?
Tell me what you’re capable of? How does society judge you? What do you hear
about yourself? Tell me all of it and I’ll be all ears to it!

Haiku is a
traditional form of a Japanese poetry that consists of 3 lines, following a
5-7-5 syllable rule (first and third line 5 syllables, middle line 7
syllables). They don’t necessarily have to rhyme.