Recap

On her first day at Columbia, Blair already has her heart set on getting into an exclusive club.

Gossip Girl's site is down, or it’s just under construction. A few scenes later, it returns with a bang, dropping bombs in Serena and many others.

Serena has her own problems. Namely Juliet trying to destroy her life. Blair gets a key that admits her to a club, Hamilton House, but Serena is passed over courtesy of Juliet.

Rufus decides to talk to Dan about his kid, having established that Dan isn’t really the father. Dan still feels attached to Milo, though.

Chuck is back, in love with Eva and boasting about her to Lily, who says that he should bring her to Fashion’s Night Out.

Blair dresses down Eva as she dresses up for the event but not as bad as Rufus does Chuck when he shows up - thanks to Eric revealing what he did in Season One. The whole forcing himself on Jenny thing did not sit well with R.

Chuck denies he knows Eva so Rufus won't tell him the truth as he threatens to.

Juliet tells Serena that Blair was the one who blackballed her from the club with talk of a secret sex tape with Pete Fairman.

Dan decides he doesn’t care if the baby is his or not, he’s going to keep it.

Serena arrives at Fashion’s Night Out to confront Blair in an epic fight, which Gossip Girl streams live. But it turns out the pair are playing Juliet. The fight was staged and taped to expose Juliet’s schemes.

Serena was always supposed to be admitted to the club and she gets her key after all after Lily pulls some strings.

Georgina comes back and tells Dan that someone is trying to kill her. She spins a wild story about mafia and crazy assassins but now they're off her back. And she can have her baby. Dan acquiesces.

Chuck decides to tell Eva all of his dirty secrets and she chooses to stay with him anyway.

The show ends with Serena and Blair deciding to room together.

Oh, and Juliet also goes to visit a creepy guy in jail who asks her how it's going. Harder than she thought, she says, but not to worry.