Boards

Recognisable, but not too famous person presenting them
Passable food, not hot enough
Trying to make the drinks last
Making awkward conversation
One table getting really lairy and cheering whenever they're mentioned
Applause drying up as the ceremony wears on, general murmur of chatter growing louder
Selection of popular but vastly inappropriate songs soundtracking the interminable walk to the stage
Terrible speech from the key sponsor

Circular tables with chairs all round them (despite everyone having to look at a stage).
Each company's top banana doing a circuit of all of the other tables and greeting all of the other top bananas between awards.
Bar staff who look about 15.

Terrible choice of venue until our work decided to book a minibus. We mineswept everyone else's red wine (because they were all driving, did I say it was a terrible choice of venue?) and drank it on the way back. Then we got told off by the minibus driver.

at one once. He seemed depressed but then had to jump up, be all perky, announce stuff, then sit down again. I was feeling bad for him so I made a very very average joke, and he pretended to find it so funny that he nearly choked on his lager.

everyone bitching about either the person that accepted the award/celebrated the win but only did about 5% of the actual work OR the people that won instead of them and how little they deserve this is the best thing about these

is boffiny kids from unis who have done excellent techy designers. SOftawre and stuff. some of it's fascinating! it allows them to showcase their work amongst the business community (including VCs who back taech growth comanies) and it's actually pretty col.

the sweeping generalisations made on these boards made by people who have led fairly sheltered lives is too funny sometimes. although I do agree they are twat magments, these kind of things, quiet often an excuse for folk who do 't get ot much without their partner to misbhave and make an arse of themselve. but if you catually look at what most are trying to achieve, they can be great.

But i won 'regeneratio professional ofd the year' or something, for a regen project I did a few years ago, and in my excitement I BURST out of my dress and had to go onto the stage walking sideways like chris-is-cool and holding it all together at the back.

and established us in that market, after lots and lots of hard work to get there. PR is a necessary evil in this world. My parents were proud of me. I don't vcare that it was a bit menaingless, I got to take my manchester team out together at a fancy place in west london(i think it was the hurlingham club)and they liked it, even if I wecked my favorite dress.

not to be the most fun peson in the room at these things if you have even 2% energy levels that night. I always think the key is to get there sharp, scan the list, find the people you want to speak to at the outset and arrange to meet them at the interval for a drink at the bar. AVoid the food, meet contacts at bar, do business, getv thaht opver with and then get a bit pissed and CRTICIAL PART- leave the second the formalities are over. No nightcaps in the bar for 3 hours with the piss artists. you won't make any valuable contacts at that time of night, and any gossip they may divulge will get back to you anyeway, so it's not worth waitig out for.

of people who are very keen to do the right think, meet everyone, make contact, post selfies and hashtags and all that contrasting with industry veteran hacks who wear their ties loose and just get rolled on free wine. It's a bit like that turner painting with the boats and the setting sun, except more marriages are broken in the former.