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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I enjoy book clubs because they expose me to books I might not pick up on my own. I love working book fairs at the wee ones' schools for the same reason - and we found some neat books for Mister Man today that we might not otherwise have discovered. So Diary of a Submissive: A Modern Tale of True Sexual Awakening is admittedly something a little different from what I normally read - though yes, I like everyone else I know read the 50 Shades books.

This isn't 50 Shades. This is a memoir written by "Sophie Morgan" - which is a probably very necessary pseudonym. She tells her story starting back in her childhood through ... now. The book shares when she had her first spanking, and examines her changing desires as she discovers more about who she is and what she likes. And as she's changing, the book continues right with her, becoming very graphic and detailed.

This isn't a "how to" manual, but a look into a lifestyle that isn't anywhere near what was portrayed in the 50 Shades trilogy. Some of it made me twitchy because I was uncomfortable and would never have made the choices she did - and knowing that this is a memoir and not fiction makes me all the more twitchy.

You would expect that Sophie were someone who suffered in her life somewhere and had a whole that needed filling, but from everything you can see, Sophie is the epitome of success. She is a journalist and has good relationships with friends and family. And yet she finds that traditional relationships just don't do it for her and she explores her urges - and those encounters with Tom and Charlotte, with James, and more. And we see all the details of her exploration in painful (and sometimes repetitive) detail.

The book was hard to read because it was so hard for me to watch what Sophie did to herself, as she seemed to simultaneously need it and hate it. Closed doors are closed doors, but I hate to see such disparity in power. This is no fairytale, but it's definitely a unique look into a world far from that in which I live.