a little more, a little less…

Posts Tagged ‘Stephen’

So if you’re considering anything about being unable to return my feelings, cut it off.

From the very first day when I sent you that message or several times later when we exchanged the convo and you gave me those hints, I’ve never offered any kind of commitment. As if there was any, it would be the kind that I’d keep for myself only, an engagement that I signed with myself, to be devoted to you without asking for anything in return.

Why are you so aware of that? What would it harm you from spending a portion of your lifetime with me? I keep asking myself those questions and it only hurt me badly when the answers obviously hit me out of the blue.

If I was you, I’d not waste my time with someone uninterested either. So it’s understandable. Because we people are all so scared of falling and getting ourselves hurt over again, that’s why it’s always so hard to give somebody a chance, or even to give ourselves a chance to jump into love again.

I’m not sure if this is because of me or is it because of you. Yet I can’t help feeling if I was a little bit prettier, or more attractive, it might be different. Maybe you’d be interested, then you’d hang out with me, we’d be friends first and lovers later (or that was just wishful thinking).

Or I could even stay this ugly, just if you ever over come my appearance and just be friend with me, I’d cook for you, froster you when you’re so sick and tired of the world outside, listen to your stories without saying anything hypocritical. And I’d try my best not to let you down, because I’m not those gorgeous boys who even dared to walk in and out of your life, tearing you apart; I’m no elegant boy to dare to hurt you the way I’ve always been hurt, isn’t it obvious?

Then why you’re giving me no chance? I just want to stay close, to know you, to be there in your life, to be somebody you can trust and that’s just that. Who am I to be such bold, asking for more?

I’ll just be like a stupid boy who dares to devote his heart to Superman, staying on the ground waiting for you to pass by, well, for a minute or two, and there you go again, busy with the safety of humanity, and I’ll be right here waiting on the ground when you come back down.

However, all that I know is that all those stuff are just too good to be true.

Maybe hopefully in another reality, where we made different choices that diverted our lives unlike this dimension, perhaps there’d be a twist in probability, or people would prefer calling fate, that you and I would be together.