For an appointment
call 307.690.8930 or email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com
For more information: www.yourcosmiccafe.com

MASSAGE
Rena Trail (307) 203-8005

Best of Jackson Hole 2012 Special:
$25 discount when you mention this ad

!
u
o
y
k
n
a
h
T

10 March 14 - 20, 2012

l JH Weekly l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

Best COSMIC CHARACTER Carol

Mann

EDITOR’S CHOICE
People & Living

CAROL MANN

Carol Mann is in touch where so many aren’t. The longtime valley resident is probably best known for her radio blurb, “Cosmic Café,” which airs weekdays on KMTN at
1:30 p.m. The gifted mistress of the metaphysical is also a Washington University
grad and holds a master’s degree from Harvard.
Mann conducts soul readings, clairvoyant contacts with the departed, and
channeling sessions. Sooner or later a conversation with Mann gets down to the
nitty-gritty: the soul. Mann is adamant that the soul has a blueprint and working
against its native design could be causing disharmony in your life.
“The soul is love-based rather than fear-based,” Mann says. “The ego is the
fear-based relative of the soul. If you let your ego run your life you will always be
in fear and feel unfulfilled because the ego can never be satisfied. Put your soul in
the driver’s seat of your life. Ego makes a better passenger.”
Mann’s new two-CD set entitled 2012 A.D.—The Big Picture, is a preparation guide
not for the end, but a new beginning.
“The Mayans never said the world would end. They did say there would be a lot of
changes, which we already know is happening,” Mann says. “The essence of this
change is a shift away from fear and separation and toward cooperation. It is a hugely
radical change.” – Jake Nichols

Thank you Jackson Hole for voting me

BEST REAL ESTATE AGENT
Four years in a row!

Thank you for your trust in my experience and professionalism.
I look forward to serving your needs until THE END OF DAYS! – Mack

The Center for Resolution provides mediation services in our community.

Larsen Family
Dentistry

THANKS YOU
for voting us the
#1 dental team
in Jackson!

family dentistry
Call to schedule your BEST
dental visit ever!

733-4778
www.larsenfamilydentistry.com
12 March 14 - 20, 2012

l JH Weekly l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

sexiest couple

BEST PROTEST ACTIVITY

Mr. and Mrs. Foster Friess

Occupy JH: remembered

EDITOR’S CHOICE
People & Living

Jackson is full of big studly bro-brahs who flaunt their
sexual prowess with bright colors and displays of aerial acrobatics to attract females. And we also have plenty of
buxom ski bunnies looking for, if not Mr. Right, then Mr.
Right Now. So who is the sexiest couple in Jackson Hole?
The answer may surprise you: Mr. and Mrs. Foster Friess. If
you ask women what makes a man sexy they would probably answer, good looks, sense of humor, intelligence, etc.
What women really mean is they judge a man by the size
of his, umm, investment portfolio. Well, Foster has a lot of
money—enough to influence presidential elections. As
Henry Kissinger once said, “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” After decades of marriage, the Friesses still seem
like a couple of naughty little kids. This year’s Friess Christmas card features the caption, ”Smoking Hot Wife” and has
a picture of Foster and Lynn licking an extremely phallic
Popsicle. Lynn Friess licking a Popsicle is one thing, but
Foster? There’s no doubt the Friesses are the sexiest couple in Jackson. But it’s a good thing the Friesses are too old
to need birth control, because I hate to break it to Foster
but, “Putting Bayer aspirin between the knees” is not an
effective method for preventing pregnancy. – Aaron Wallis

Alley behind TST
AARON DAVIS

FRIESS CHRISTMAS CARD

BEST PLACE TO
WITNESS A BAR FIGHT

The first of several Occupy JH protests was October 15 on Town Square. During the same week
around the world, Occupy protests were picking up
steam in more than 600 communities in the U.S.,
and 80 countries around the world. The 50-or-so
folks that gathered on the southwest corner of
Town Square that day may have experienced a mild
atmosphere compared to the epicenter in New York
City’s Zuccotti Park, but the purpose was parallel.
“We are the 99%” signs faced the public in one of
the richest counties in the nation, and reactions
came from both political spectrums. One citizen opposing the movement admitted to being in the 1%,
and hung around to debate the issues with several
of the protestors.
Did the local series of protests contribute to the
greater movement? Inspire change in Teton County?
That’s for you to decide. But one thing did happen—
it sparked a great deal of conversation among a segment of the population that by-and-large did not
know one another. That’s America. – Aaron Davis

I’ve never really understood the point of bar
fights or what the amateur pugilists hope to accomplish? The winner goes to jail and the loser
goes to the hospital. And the bar skank they
were arguing about, she gives chlamydia to
some other lucky guy. Watching two drunken
testosterone-fueled morons pound each other
does save $59.95 over purchasing UFC on payper-view. In Jackson, the best place to catch a
bar fight is without a doubt the Town Square
Tavern and the alley behind it. Back in 2009,
Joshua Anders Rae beat Brent Owen like Rae
was a six-year-old changing channels during
the NFL playoffs. Owen suffered 27 facial fractures and the legal fallout was only recently
settled. Another undisputed TST champion is
Tucker Olsen of Driggs. Olsen got in a little
scuffle and was head bunting a bouncer in the
street when the cops arrived. There used to be
a great video on Vimeo of the JHPD beating the
crap out of Olsen but the link has expired.
Fighting aside, throw in the random discharging of firearms, punching police horses, public
urination, and garden variety vomiting. Let’s
just say TST is the only bar that provides an authentic Old West experience. Sure the Cowboy
has plenty of dudes in chaps hanging out in the
restroom, but I’d rather go to TST. – Aaron Wallis

Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey launched www.mountainweather.com in 1997 as more of a peek into his world than a
look at the five-day forecast. Touring Woodmencey’s website is
an exclusive invite into the inner workings of weather. All the
tools are there –computer models, upper air maps, satellite
photos, radar, Doppler 4000, weather balloons—all you’re lacking is the 26 years of experience forecasting for all the trick nuances of mountainous country.
In addition to the forecast for Jackson Hole and all the tools
necessary to fashion your own if you’ve the inclination, the
website features oodles of external links to road reports, webcams, lightning map, earthquake info, and avalanche danger.
Widgets are available for your own website or mobile device.
Predicting weather in rugged terrain like ours is tricky. Only
the best survive. Woodmencey is talented enough to be called
upon over and over by Search and Rescue, heli-skiing companies, park and forest officials; even the United States military.
Last week, Woodmencey took a couple of days off from his day
job to teach a weather course for the U.S. Air Force. If you’ve got
the time, mountainweather.com will keep you busy for hours.
- Jake Nichols

JESSICA RUTZICK
& ASSOCIATES, PC
All Women Litigation Team
Serving the Equality State
and Carrying on the Tradition
of Strong Women.
(307) 733-8140
RUTZICKLAW.COM

Best Lawyer
Jessica Rutzick

The Wyoming State Bar does not certify any lawyer
as a specialist or expert. Anyone considerng a lawyer
should independently investigate the lawyers’s
credentials and ability and not rely upon advertisement
or self-proclaimed expertise.

Peter Rork, MD and
David Khoury, MD
at Teton Orthopaedics
want to thank the Jackson Hole
community for voting us the

BEST KNEE DOCTORS
“We appreciate your support
and will continue to care for all
of your orthopaedic needs.”

PAWS
of
Jackson Hole
250 W. Pearl St., Jackson

16 March 14 - 20, 2012

Silver: Dr. Kevin Meehan
Bronze: Dr. Monique Lai

Silver: Adi Amar
Bronze: Neesha Zollinger
Bronze: Danielle Goldyn

Peter Rork, MD

PAWS has some lofty goals for 2012,
including continuing our Spay/Neuter voucher
program and renovating the kennels at the
Jackson/Teton County Animal Shelter.
Please consider making a donation today
so we can continue to provide essential
services to homeless pets and the
people that adopt them!
Go to pawsofjh.org to learn more.

GOLD: DR. MARK
MENOLASCINO

GOLD: ARIEL MANN

THANK YOU for awarding
PAWS of Jackson Hole
SILVER
for Best Non-Profit and
SILVER
for Best Charity Event!

pawsofjh.org

Best Lawyer: David DeFazio

555 E. Broadway, 733-3900

l JH Weekly l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

LINE
733-KMTN
NHOLERADIO.COM

Best Teacher

Best Dentist: Scott Larsen

Best eruption Supervolcano

EDITOR’S CHOICE
People & Living

By studying layers of sediment, scientists are able to determine that Yellowstone blows its top every 600,000 years. The last major volcanic eruption in
the park occurred 640,000 years ago. We are on borrowed time.
Occasionally the magma mess under YNP cooks to the surface for a minivolcanic episode. The West Thumb of Yellowstone Lake was created about
162,000 years ago when a smaller blast sent rock chunks clear to Jackson.
But the “big one,” the one that is expected to threaten all planetary life as
we know it, is due any day now. Recent earthquake swarms and increased geothermal activity in areas like the Mud Volcano might be indications the nation’s first park is on the brink of Armageddon.
– Jake Nichols

BEST ALTERNATIVE WORKOUT

Allan & Frances Tessler

Steve Deutsch

Round One Boxing Gym

Allan Tessler made his fortune as the former CEO of
Data Broadcasting Corp. After
a stint in the Navy and a brief
job as a computer consultant
for IBM, Tessler began a long
career as a financial consultant earning him the reputation of a “turnaround”
specialist. Maybe that’s why the retired financier recently
headed a consortium that took control of the beleaguered
Rocky Mountain Bank.
Or maybe Tessler just likes a charity case.
Tessler met his wife, Frances, while the two were undergrads
at Cornell University. They now spend their retirement years in
Jackson skiing, hiking, biking, and spreading their wealth.
Tessler is an emeritus board member of the Jackson Hole
Land Trust. Frances serves on the board of the Jackson Hole
Community Housing Trust. Both donate their time at ventures
like the Jackson Hole Wine Auction and their money as
$100,000 co-challengers for Old Bill’s Fun Run and other numerous contributions to the community.
“My first unsolicited nonprofit donation in Jackson funded
the purchase of radios for Teton County Search and Rescue,”
Tessler said. “We skied in the backcountry quite frequently,
and I got to know some Search and Rescue volunteers. When I
found out that they didn’t have any radios, I offered to fund the
acquisition. In New York, our donations seemed to get lost
sometimes in the vastness of organizations. Here, those radios
were a game changer.”
Even though Tessler’s dream of building a graduate business
school in Jackson Hole were dashed and he lost money as an
investor of the doomed Snake River Sporting Club and Ponzischemer Bernie Madoff, Tessler keeps swinging away. And giving it away. – Jake Nichols

There are a lot of ways you can categorize best athlete. Upon meeting Steve
Deutsch, I learned that being the best
adaptive athlete has nothing to do with
physical abilities and everything to do
with heart. After moving to Jackson Hole
in 1994, Deutsch quickly got a job with
the heli-tech fire crew, and was starting
to fulfill his dream of living in the mountains. But in September of 1996,
Deutsch rolled his truck while swerving
to avoid a moose on the highway. The
accident put him in a coma for 10 days
and he woke with massive head injuries
that left him paralyzed on the left side
of his body. After a long recovery,
Deutsch found his way back to Jackson
and met Kurt Henry with Teton Adaptive
Sports. Through the program, Deutsch is
able to continue his adventures in the
valley, skiing every weekend, hiking
mountain trails in the summer, and boating on the lakes and rivers. But it is not
what Deutsch gets from the program
that makes him the best; it’s what he
gives back. He is not only an athlete in
the program, but also serves as a counselor to other athletes. When asked
about his accomplishments, Deutsch
said it was “the astounding outpouring
of help that the community gave me –
you just don’t find that anywhere else.”
Not a word about himself. Deutsch’s humility is what makes him the best.
– Andy LaBonte

So you have some pent-up frustration? Perhaps
there’s even someone you might like to take it out
on? Instead of ruining a relationship or severing a
close tie forever, why not harness that energy in a
healthy way. Round One Boxing Gym let’s you do
just that (it’s also a welcomed change from the
drone of cardio machines).
Tucked away in an unassuming building on Center Street, Round One was spearheaded by former
pro-boxer Shane Swartz, who offers instruction to
the young, the old, the meek and the bold. This alternative, interactive workout is gaining steam
among a sundry array of folks, including those
who find the treadmill and elliptical to have lost
all appeal, and for those who want to work out
more than just their quads on the hill.
Boxing not only elevates your heart rate and improves your strength and stamina but it also
teaches the discipline and calculated technique
behind the gloves. – Robyn Vincent

March is National Nutrition Month, are food allergies slowing you down?
Visit our website at www.menoclinic.com to test your health and learn more about how we can help.
All discounts valid when you book your appointment before April 15th, 2012.

www.menoclinic.com • (307) 732-1039 • 5235 HHR Ranch Rd • Wilson, WY

18 March 14 - 20, 2012

l JH Weekly l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

Our National Parks

WY-22

Back in the good old days when Jackson was full
of brothels, you could probably have sex up against
the side of the Wort and nobody would care. The
Wild West got civilized and boring and now that kind
of behavior is not tolerated. Just ask the couple who
were arrested last year for having sex on the Teton
Artlab’s mini-golf course located in the Pink Garter
Theatre’s courtyard. Friends tell me the gondola ride
at JHMR is a great place for a quick BJ. Personally, I
can’t condone sex on the gondola after paying $97
for a lift ticket because that’s basically prostitution.
The large number of video cameras on Town Square
means it’s hard to get away with fornicating in public
anymore. I think our national parks are the perfect
place for public sex because, who are the elk going
to tell? The park service outfits are kind of sexy in
the same way the UPS outfit serves as a premise for
adult films. Perhaps if prostitution were legalized inside national parks they could finally get some hot
chicks to join the park service. – Aaron Wallis

Among JHPD, the Teton County Sheriffs,
and the WY Highway Patrol, Jackson has approximately four times the law enforcement
per capita as the national average. Maybe we
need them during the summer to keep all
those wild and dangerous retirees in RVs
from bringing anarchy to town. But the rest
of the year the cops really don’t have anything to do aside from harassing teenagers
and stoners. The five-0 spends most of its
time sitting by the side of the road and giving as many DUIs as possible. Back in 2009, I
was in the police station to report a stolen
bike and saw plaques on the wall honoring
the department’s top DUI givers. Teton
County averages about 300 DUIs a year,
about three times the national average. Take
tons of bored cops and a system with a financial incentive to give out as many DUIs as
possible and it sounds like a recipe for impartial and judicious enforcement of the law
to me. If you have two drinks with dinner you
can be over the limit and get a DUI. Recently,
the acting CEO of St. John’s was busted for a
DUI on Spring Gulch Road. I see most people
pulled over on 22 after Spring Gulch and before Iron Rock Road. Everybody traveling between the Village, Wilson, and Jackson has to
drive that stretch of road after a night out.
Next time the schools face tough budget
cuts, we should just fire a few cops instead.
I’m sure 22 is not going to turn into the Road
Warrior overnight because we only have
three times as many cops as most cities. –
Aaron Wallis

EDITOR’S CHOICE
People & Living

best criminals

10 Year Olds
Fence Stolen Toys
Law enforcement apprehended two 10-year
old boys after an extensive investigation last
September and October.
The boys stole toys from
Teton Toys and then
fenced the stolen goods
to their classmates at the
elementary school. Owner Wes Gardner did not press
charges. In this paper’s coverage of the story, all the usual
B.S. was brought up about children learning from their mistakes and the importance of honesty in our society. The last
few years have taught us that the 1%ers who run this country steal from the government, the lower classes, and each
other, then buy off politicians to get away with it. It’s only
stealing when poor people do it. I remember what it was like
growing up poor, never having cool toys, getting made fun of
because I did not have designer clothes. In high school, I
wasn’t getting blowjobs after football practice because my
parents did not buy me an expensive car like the other kids.
Those two boys showed a lot of ingenuity; they’ll make great
drug dealers one day—the only avenue society allows for
members of the lower class to move up in. The one lesson I
hoped they learned is “don’t get caught,” unless you have
rich parents to hire an expensive lawyer and buy an acquittal. – Aaron Wallis
PATRICK DOLAN

I remember the first
time I walked through
the door of Global
Treasures. A friendly
man wearing a Hawaiian shirt (in October)
greeted me with a welcoming smile. I later
found out he is one of
the store’s owners. I’m
not sure if it was his
smile or all the fun
novelties in the store
that uplifted me the
most, but ever since
that day more than 12
years ago, Global
Treasures has been my
go-to place for gift
shopping. I think it has
Jackson’s best selection of unique offerings, and I know I can’t
go wrong when I buy something there for myself or for someone else.
Last year, I was at a loss as to what to get my brother for his 50th birthday, but when I saw the customizable, architectural black and white photos that can be designed to spell out anything, I was able to design an
original gift complete with special photos from our youth. A few weeks
ago, while I was reading through the festive selection of greeting cards at
the store, two teenage girls came in looking for something they couldn’t
find anywhere else. One was holding a plastic bag with two gold fish in it.
They were looking for a fish bowl. While the store didn’t have a bowl,
they did have a fish hotel. They knew, like I do, when it seems you can’t
find something in Jackson that you want, you can find it at Global Treasures. – Teresa Griswold

The Harmonic Spa
If you’ve ever wanted to slip away into a relaxing panacea of pure bliss without having to
stretch, bend and balance in multiple poses (think yoga), sound vibration therapy at the
Harmonic Spa is the answer. It’s like a massage for your body from the inside out and similar to acupuncture, it works with energy meridians but there’s no needles, just soothing
sounds. The treatment is so relaxing that I usually fall asleep and awaken only when the
healing practitioner, owner Nancy Alfs, infuses the room with a symphony from the healing
gongs that surround the massage table. My body picks up the peaceful, gentle vibration,
and I awake relaxed and energized. It is my favorite part, probably because I am so harmonized by the end of the treatment. Afterward, I am more attuned to life. It is like a tune up—
not only for the body, but also mind and spirit. And we all need that. – Teresa Griswold

Self-proclaimed best patient, Julie Zell,
CONGRATULATES her favorite nurse,
Laurie Bush and massage therapist,
Rena Trail, for being the
BEST IN JACKSON HOLE.

Valid March 25 - April 8, 2012
Must present local Wyoming & Idaho I.D. Applicable to new reservations only!
Not combinable with other offers or discounts.
Room tax and occupancy fee may be applied.

Call reservations directly to book at 307-732-5600
22 March 14 - 20, 2012

l JH Weekly l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

Best HOMEMADE PRODUCT Igneous

Skis

EDITOR’S CHOICE
Goods & Services

BEST OF 2012

funny
answers
Q: Best Doctor

MIKE PARRIS

Adam Sherman didn’t set out to make the world’s fastest
powder ski, but that’s his company’s tagline. Launched in 1993,
Igneous Skis churns out custom handmade skis, snowboards
and skateboards for users who are tough on their gear. Sherman started the operation because he kept breaking stuff. So
did everyone else he knew.
Igneous does not advertise or market its line. No logo appears on its product. Word-of-mouth has made them legendary
in Jackson Hole. Serious skiers and riders recognize Igneous
product by their girth and signature pristine wood grain tops.
Mike Parris has been the head engineer at Igneous since the
beginning. When you order your skis, you’ll speak directly with
him. He’ll probably have on a lab coat. He is a mad genius.
Local orders comprise about 60 percent of Igneous’ business. It also ships to the western U.S., Canada, Europe, and Asia.
A group of Swedish high schoolers visited the shop a few
years back. They said: “öppna och trevliga människor som
gärna delar både kunskap och glädje.”
That pretty much means they were stoked. – Jake Nichols

Childbirth, emergency room visits and going under the knife are just a few of the stressful situations that El Puente medical translators assist Spanish-speaking folks with around-the-clock here
in the valley.
El Puente executive director Vida Sanchez founded the nonprofit in 2003. “Our mission is to improve
access to the health care system among limited English speakers by reducing linguistic and cultural
barriers to care,” Sanchez explained.
A simple visit to the doctor’s office is enough to elevate many patients’ heart rates. But imagine
not knowing exactly what your doctor is trying to tell you as you writhe in pain, unsure of the cause.
El Puente translators keep their cool while translating documents and critical information in sometimes life-threatening situations. They are the mediators–serving 85 percent women and children–
between doctor and patient when the barrier to being well, or simply receiving medical care, is
language.
While we love our animals here in Jackson Hole (PAWS won the gold for Best Nonprofit in this year’s
Readers’ Poll), JH Weekly thought it high time we recognize a different kind of nonprofit that focuses on
people and community. – Robyn Vincent

“No one else in the Valley has a bread
that can stand up to Persephone’s.”
– Dina Mishev
“Best thing since you know what,” JHWeekly 11.16.11

THANK YOU for making us #1

We work hard to give you the best!
SPIN • PUMP • YOGA • PILATES
TRX • CY-YO • STEP and an awesome facility.
307-734-5878
1655 High School Rd.

thank you! thank you! thank you!
The gals at Terra wish to thank all of our loyal shoppers for so
many years of fabulous purchases!
We hope to always be the shop at which you choose to blow
obscene amounts of cash!
We are thrilled to be the “Best of Jackson Hole!”

happy shopping!

everyday
favorites
women • men

26 March 14 - 20, 2012 l

JH WEEKLY l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

105 e. broadway • 734-0067

BEST ECO BUSINESS

Three Bests

Teton County
Integrated Solid
Waste & Recycling
AARON DAVIS

BEST iPHONE or ipad APP

Pick just one? Hmm, let’s go with three—Photosynth,
Vidrhythm and Garageband were all released last year, and
allow you to not only get artsy on the fly, but goof off as well.
I wouldn’t have guessed that Microsoft was behind one of
the coolest apps of the year with Photosynth (free), but it is.
Allowing users to quickly and reliably capture panoramic
360-degree gyroscopic images, this is a nice one to bust out
on a day in the mountains. The iPhone cam is not a very wide
angle, so even stitching a few shots together can help you get
a decent landscape shot.
Vidrhythm (free) is for the lighter side of life. Designed to
let users put themselves into a music video using their own
audio and video samples, this one can be both terrifying and
hilarious at the same time. At least in the short-term, this is a
party app. After sampling and deciding upon a specific song,
just choose a visual presentation style, and boom, you’re in
business. Vidrhythm is not likely to entertain you for more
than a week, but it’s worth the laughs.
As for Garageband ($5), having an eight-track studio in your
pocket is epic, at least in theory. Garageband’s functionality
has always appealed to both newbies and pros, even the nonmusic-making crowd. Sketching out your next composition or
just impromptu jamming with yourself on a surface the size
of a playing card can be cheap entertainment, or at its best, a
place to layer your creative ideas. Rock it. – Aaron Davis

Each time I deposit the boundless contents
of my recycling bins at the recycling center on
Snow King Avenue I think about the folks who
sift through the heaping piles of smelly, sticky,
gooey items in order to reduce the amount of
garbage we send to the landfill each week.
Recycling efforts in a community are indeed a partnership. Teton County Integrated
Solid Waste and Recycling puts in the hours
and a conscientious community chooses the
recycle bin over the trashcan.
According to Bicycle Magazine and Columbia University, Teton County has some astoundingly high recycling rates. The U.S.
national recycling rate is 24 percent.
The Rocky Mountain Regional Recycling Rate
is 11 percent, and Teton County’s
recycling rate: a whopping 35 percent.
Living in a pristine place among such aweinspiring wildlife causes us to think long and
hard before we throw things “away.”
And, traveling to places across the globe
where trash decorates the streets and floats
in canals and rivers is a reminder of why
we’re fortunate here in Teton County; to not
only have the infrastructure to handle recycling and waste but also the prevailing attitude of reducing, reusing and recycling for
the health of the planet and the future generations of people who inhabit it.
– Robyn Vincent

EDITOR’S CHOICE
Goods & Services

best place for secular
people to go on sunday morn

e.leaven
Food Company
Karl Marx famously called religion “the opiate of
the masses.” All the drug addicts are at church on
Sunday morning getting their socially acceptable
fix. Leaving the rest of us feeling excluded and
with some time to kill, especially during the NFL
off-season. So I thought about the options for secular people to keep busy on Sunday morning. If the
weather is decent, a hike up Snow King is a great
way to start a Sunday. While everybody else is
busy worshiping, you’ll be working on an ass that’s
worthy of devotion. If the snow is good then crosscountry skiing on any of the Teton County Parks
and Recreation’s trails is always a great way to
spend the morning, especially because the trails
are not usually covered with dog shit in plastic
bags until afternoon walk time. And finally, if you
need a good breakfast to take the edge off that
hangover, the e.leaven Food Company is open on
Sunday and has one of the best breakfasts in town.
Since e.leaven’s name is a veiled Passover reference, one could even consider breakfast a substitute for attending synagogue. I just pretend the
counter is the pulpit, the dinning room chairs are
the pews, and I’m going to burn in hell for my sins,
then I feel right at home.
– Aaron Wallis

THANK YOU JACKSON!
In spite of our overly optimistic thermometer, thank you for voting
us as almost the hottest bank in town.

jackson branch locations
Albertsons
105 Buffalo Way

802 W. Broadway

Main
842 W. Broadway

Town Square
120 East Broadway

Stop by or call us at 307-734-7373

Member FDIC. Equal Housing Lender.

www.JHweekly.com updated daily l JH Weekly l March 14 - 20, 2012

27

Thank you!

Voted BEST
PET SUPPLY
STORE
two years
running!

Thank you!

South Park Loop

Maverik

Thank you!
1645 Martin Lane • 733-5355

PPP
Martin Lane

Smith’s
High School Road

Monday-Friday 9:30am-6pm, Saturday 9:30am-5pm

READERS’ CHOICE
Goods & Services
Best Reason to Drive to Driggs or Victor

GOLD: VICTOR EMPORIUM’S
HUCKLEBERRY MILKSHAKES
Silver: Music on Main Concert Series
Bronze: The Knotty Pine
Best Customer Service

THANK YOU JACKSON!
Blue Spruce Cleaners is very proud to
be Jackson’s only environmentally
safe solution for all of your laundry
and dry cleaning needs. Good for you,
Good for your Clothes, Good for the
Environment! We appreciate you so
much, and could not have earned
Silver without your ongoing support!

Thanks, Jackson Hole!
We love taking care
of your pets!
That’s just how we roll.

BEST PET SUPPLY STORE
GreenEarth Cleaning®
Good for you
Good for your clothes
Good for our planet
28 March 14 - 20, 2012

l JH Weekly l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

Monday to Friday 8am-6pm
Saturday 10am-5pm • Sunday 12pm-5pm

733-7704

LOCATED IN THE K-MART PLAZA

Thank you
JACKSON HOLE COMMUNITY
FOR RECOGNIZING OUR EFFORT
TO PROVIDE A GREAT WORK
ENVIRONMENT AND DELICIOUS DINING!

Jackson Treehouse would like to THANK all
the locals for their continued support!
And for this, the Treehouse is on sale 10% - 50% off for the rest of the season!
Koshu Wine Bar is very proud to have the
one of the BEST BARTENDERS in Jackson.
“Rasta” Kris gives a big THANK YOU
to all the voters for this honor.

Best Ska
te/Snow
board/S
ki Shop

Stop by and have a drink at one of the
BEST PLACES TO GET A COCKTAIL.
Koshu is open nightly at 5:30pm serving Pan-Asian cuisine and your favorite cocktails.
Reservations are highly recommended, call 733-5283 or visit us at www.koshuwinebar.com

Whether it’s dining out
or take-out, a “healthy
dessert” is somewhat of
an oxymoron and not so
easy to find. I expected I
was going to have to settle upon a dry, flat-tasting
coconut oatmeal concoction masquerading as a
cookie, but I decided to try
out one of the valley’s
newest dining spots,
Lemongrass Express at
Wilson’s Exxon station
where D.O.G. serves up
breakfast every morning.
Owner Redeem Sumicad
laughed a little when I
told him I was looking for
a healthy dessert. He told
me that over at the
Lemongrass Bistro—its
main restaurant on the
other side of the hill—it serves up a custom-made four-layer chocolate
cake created especially for the restaurant by Oscar Ortega of Atelier Ortega. Drooling (and weakening), I reluctantly asked him to describe other
options. There was the lychee fruit with green tea ice cream, but I opted
out because of all the sugar and cream. “What about bubble tea?” he
asked. Envisioning a sparkling, fizzie-like drink, I said sure. It turned out to
be a delicious blend of blueberries, almond milk, and green tea with
“bubbles” which are tapioca pearls floating in the bottom that provide an
amazing flavor sensation when sucked up through the straw. From its
bright color to the fun of crunching on the tapioca “bubbles,” it was a surprise. And surprises make the best desserts. I mean, the best healthy
desserts. – Teresa Griswold

best alternative bakery

JH Organics

Is gluten-free product and preparation even considered alternative anymore? With so
many newly-discovered gluten-intolerant eaters out there—not to mention full-blown celiac
disease sufferers—it’s good to see the restaurant industry respond.
“I’m thinking the whole gluten-free thing has kind of turned the corner to where there are
now a lot of bakeries that are into that now,” Justin Hitch said. Hitch, 34, started JH Organics
five years ago with a line of smoothies and organic products. He added the kitchen two
years ago and began a neverending quest for organic comfort food that’s good for the body.
“I was unhappy with what was available in the gluten-free world. Everything tasted gritty,
sandy and chalky,” Hitch said. “So I set out, like a mad scientist, tweaking the ingredients trying to find the right consistency in the dough and batter. It was a lot of trial and error but I
think we’ve now got some of the best-tasting breads, pastries, and cupcakes around.”
JH Organics also offers gluten- and dairy-free clam chowder. Many of their menu items are
also egg-free as well. Hitch, a self-confessed bacon-holic, will be the first to admit that he
prefers food to taste good above all else. The ancillary benefit is that all menu items at JH
Organics are organic, wholesome and healthy. Hitch lost 60 pounds eating his own food in
the past year. – Jake Nichols

BEST CHARITABLE FEAST

Thanksgiving at Teton Steakhouse
It’s a tradition around here. Every Thanksgiving, Teton Steakhouse plates nearly 500
meals and never bills a single customer. The tradition of offering the community free food
has been in place for more than 25 years—exactly how many neither Jan nor Ann Bates can
remember for sure.
Recognizing that many in Jackson might be travelers, newly-arrived transplants, or simply
single, the Bates wanted to do something special at their famous downtown family restaurant that would remind diners of the cheer and good spirits the date implies for most.
The restaurant takes pride in never having turned away a hungry customer on Thanksgiving. On a few occasions, though, they have had to limit the help. Volunteers for the feast
usually turn out in large numbers. Longstanding members of the community return year
after year to serve others, cook food, or clean pots and pans. – Jake Nichols

THANK YOU JH
FOR ALL YOUR
SUPPORT!
Come see us for....
Monday:
OPEN MIC NIGHT
Friday:
DJ NIGHT
Daily Lunch Special:
$5 - SLICE & A BEER
Open Late • Take Out • Delivery

(307) 734 - PINK (7465)
50 W. Broadway Jackson Hole, WY

307.734.9446
www.jacksonholecoffee.com

34 March 14 - 20, 2012

WALK PAST THE STAIRS IN THE PINK GARTER PLAZA

l JH Weekly l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

A: Kentucky
Fried Dragon
Q: Best Meat
Counter
A: The Russian
hookers at the tavern.
Q: Best Teton
Valley Restaurant
A: Teton Valley has
restaurants?
Q: Best Athlete
under 17
A: That shithead
show-off skier in
the red coat who
thinks he rules the
King.

THANK YOU

EDITOR’S CHOICE

to all of our great customers!

Food & Drink

best loved beer
west of wilson

We couldn’t do it without YOU!
- The whole JH Roasters team

It’s the water, silly. Master brewmeister Rob
Mullin is happy to share the secret to the success of Grand Teton Brewing Company’s
award-winning signature brews like the Teton
and Old Faithful ales, along with Sweetgrass
APA, Bitch Creek ESB and Howling Wolf
Weisse Bier.
“We are incredibly proud of the Victor water
we brew with,” Mullin said. “We’ve had geologists tell us it is 500 year-old spring water. It is
the best tasting water I’ve ever had—pure, clean, slightly sweet tasting. We don’t do reverse osmosis
and charcoal filtering, or add minerals back into the water in order to recreate another city’s water
taste.”
Mullin added that the water is closest in makeup to what Munich has. That makes brewing German-style malts a natural for GTBC but it also means Mullin has had to alter his approach for pale
ales and ‘hoppier’ beers in order to bring out the hops flavor.
GTBC also ditched its filter a long time ago.
“We don’t filter our beers. We don’t even filter our water anymore. The filter is the most despised
piece of equipment in brewing so we were happy to be rid of it,” Mullin said. “The only reason we
used to filter is we assumed consumers wanted clear beers. Unfiltered beer gives more ‘mouth feel’
and flavor. The yeast also prolongs the shelf-life without the addition of preservatives.”
GTBC added a soda pop line in the early 2000s. Its popular root beer was joined by Mountain
Berry, Cream Soda, and Black Cherry last summer. Mullin said the sodas are considered gourmet because only the finest ingredients are used, including 100 percent pure cane sugar. “Real fruit juices
and cane sugar are expensive. That’s why the big guys don’t use it,” Mullin said. – Jake Nichols

GRAND TETON BRWING CO.

Grand Teton Brewery

BEST HAPPY HOUR FEAST

Thai Me Up
While discounted drinks right after work are guaranteed to stir up camaraderie, as do televised
sports on HD monitors, how about martial arts infused, Bruce Lee-styled movies with subtitles for a
change? Instead of drink discounts, what about lower-priced food for happy hour? That’s the way I
like it, and over at Thai Me Up before 7 p.m. its “little curry of the day” is perfect, because sometimes I need a small meal right at sunset, not a four-course linger over wine with friends event; just
simple conversation with a couple of friends nestled in at the end of the bar. The curries rotate between red, green or yellow on given days and are a delicious treat for happy hour feasting. They’re
filling, flavorful and for only $6, easy on the budget. An additional $2 gets hearty eaters some protein like chicken or tofu. I personally prefer vegetarian for everything, but carnivores can choose
Thai versions of burgers, wings, and pork sliders all under $7 during the 4 to 7 p.m. happy hour
from Thai Me Up’s bar menu. While munching, don’t forget the incredible range of beer on tap. –
Teresa Griswold

BEST LOCALLY
ROASTED BEANS

BEST
COFFEE SHOP

Jackson Hole Roasters Coffeehouse
307-200-6099 • 145 East Broadway

“I asked Jackson Hole
Weekly to design an ad
that would be catchy
and fun, yet express the
importance of the mundane topic of winter
parking regulations for
the Town of Jackson.
They came up with
“Dude, Where’s my car?”
and people, including
TOJ staff have really
taken notice. I appreciate their graphic design
creativity and their willingness to be open to
this type of project. This
ad is working!”
- Shelley Simonton
TOWN OF JACKSON

The late journalist Charles Kuralt made many wise observations in his day. My favorite? “You can
find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.” A man after my
own stomach.
A recovering pseudo-vegetarian, I’ve been searching for the world’s best burger—and generally
making up for the six years in my late teens and early 20s that were red meat-free—since reintroducing mammals into my diet 10 years ago.
If there is a better food than a burger after a long day in the mountains or on the bike I have yet to
find it. Thankfully, Jackson Hole has plenty to choose from. Here are thoughts on a few, including the
burger just voted as the valley’s best.

SPORTS
BAR
Silver

Billy’s Burgers – Voted best in the valley
It’s gotta be for the atmosphere, the smiling faces behind the counter, or nostalgia. Billy’s couldn’t
have been voted the valley’s best burger for the Wonder Bread bun it comes on, its excess of goopy
cheese, the thin patty that can’t be cooked anything but well done, or the chewy waffle fries. Sorry
Jackson, but I’m disappointed in you. It’s not like Billy’s is even a bargain. The bacon cheeseburger
is $9.50, only slightly less expensive than a similarly-topped burger at MacPhails. And more expensive than the happy hour burger special next door at the Million Dollar Cowboy Steakhouse ($8 with
bacon and cheese). And both of those burgers are far superior. Although neither of those places
allow you to sit on a comfy stool at a counter and watch people milling around the Town Square.
Please tell me, what am I missing?

Million Dollar Cowboy Bar Steakhouse – Best bargain
The steakhouse beneath the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar gives you a burger and a PBR for $6 every
day from 5:30 until 7. Add fries or anything else to the burger—bacon, cheese, grilled onions or
mushrooms, avocado—for $1 per item.
When you’re only paying $6 for a burger and a beer, it’s smart to not expect much. Though in the
case of the Million Dollar Cowboy burger, it’s totally incorrect. This burger isn’t made from suspicious skank meat, but the trimmings from the steakhouse’s tenderloins, sirloins, and rib eyes. The
trimmings from these cuts are run fresh through the meat grinder daily. The end result is enough
premium quality burger goodness to make about 40 patties per night. The fries are good, but not
amazing.
The only thing that’s tough about this deal is waiting for 5:30 p.m. to roll around. I was burger
ready at 4:15 p.m. when I left Jackson Hole Mountain Resort after an epic powder day.

Sweet Spirits Childcare
Various Childcare at 50% off
Thank you all for your
incredible support of
Persephone. We have had an
amazing start to our first
year and we look forward to
baking you delicious breads
and pastries for years to
come!

www.halfoffjh.com
38 March 14 - 21, 2012 l

JH Weekly l www.JHweekly.com updated daily

307.734.1700
www.persephonebakery.com

the guide to the valley’s burgers continues . . .

The Kitchen – Tallest
The tallest of any burger I tried, thanks to both a
Persephone Bakery bun and all of the goodness that
comes standard on it, the Kitchen’s burger ($16) is a
monster. A delicious, delicious monster: eight ounces
of Fulton Farms ground beef mixed with salt, pepper,
mustard, and Worcestershire sauce and currently
topped (the burger changes as the menu does, seasonally) with Korubuta bacon, smoked mozzarella,
caramelized onions, housemade salty pickles, and a
sweet cherry pepper aioli. Unless you specify differently, it’s cooked medium rare.
This burger comes with some of the best fries in
town too. Fries are as subjective as beauty. My golden
standard? Crispy on the outside and soft inside.

Snake River Grill – When money’s
no object
In my world, the burger at Snake River Grill ($18)
gets extra points for the fact it’s not on the menu. You
need to be hip enough to know you can order it. And
then once you do, you might never order anything
else at the Grill again.
Part chuck and part tenderloin and all from the
Mead Ranch, this 10-ounce burger is what all other
burgers should aspire to. Whether because of the seasonings, the uniformity of patty thickness, or the
freshness of the beef, this burger needs nothing additional to be awesome. Although it does come standard with Vermont white cheddar, Wisconsin

applewood smoked bacon, and truffled shoestring
fries.

Food & Drink

Cascade – Best bun
I went through a period where I ordered all my
burgers sans buns. This period of my life wasn’t quite
as silly as the years I forsook red meat, but it comes
painfully close.
Had I ordered Cascade’s burger without its bun, I
would be writing that it was just the kind of burger
you expected to get for $12—good, fresh, and handpatted—but nothing more. I didn’t order it without its
bun, though. As silly as it sounds, it’s something as
simple as a bun that makes this burger fairly freaking
awesome.
What’s up with the bun? It’s a pretzel bun. What’s a
pretzel bun? Not a pretzel sliced in half as I had kind
of first hoped. It’s a regular-looking bun but just made
from pretzel dough. I’m not certain how pretzel dough
differs from standard bun dough, but the end result is
a spongy-yet-dense bread that soaks up meaty juices
while maintaining a certain bit of bite.

MacPhail’s – Best underdog
This burger is hormone-free, premium Angus beef
bought from ranches in the region and ground fresh
daily. Neither the beef nor the patties are ever frozen.
Buns are baked fresh daily. Lettuce is recognizable as
lettuce and the pickle slice that comes with every
burger is properly crisp. There are tons of topping
choices here and even with multiple extras, a burger
with fries (which were a little limp the most recent
time I had them) is still about $10. If you’re on a
budget and the $6 burger isn’t available at the Million
Dollar Cowboy, this is the place to come.
A bonus here is that sweet potato fries don’t cost
extra. And also that they are real sweet potatoes, not
the dyed-orange yam fries most every other restaurant passes off as sweet potato fries.

The Bird – Best second place burger
I didn’t mince my words when it came to the burger
crowned as the valley’s best. Neither will I mince
them on this burger, voted the valley’s second best:
hulking, moist, perfectly-cooked (I ordered medium),
uniformly-patted, ginormous, juicy, yummy. It gets
bonus points for kick-ass fries—a skin-on, hand cut,
and tossed in Kosher salt—and the best pickle slice
I’ve ever had.
I’m not sure this burger is always served on an English muffin-looking bun, but, as I think English muffins
deserve to be their own food group, I loved it. I want

WILLIE WISE

realized they sucked, I still had two-and two-thirds
mini burgers left to eat.
I have no problems with sliders. These were overcooked and dry though. I don’t know if well done is
the way they are always cooked or whether our server
neglected to ask how I wanted them cooked. The bunto-meat ratio was off—too much bun for the patty
size. If you want the full burger and fries experience,
you must order fries separately ($7). The fries here
are, like many in town, tossed with truffle oil and
Parmesan. They were neither good nor bad. The final
burger plus fries price though—$22—was horribly
painful.
The one thing these sliders could have going for
them (if they weren’t overcooked hockey pucks) are
the unlimited toppings you can have piled on them.
Unlike most every other restaurant everywhere, the
WBC doesn’t charge for these extra toppings. And the
toppings are pretty good: blue cheese, bacon bits,
Maryland lump crabmeat, caramelized onions. Still, I
left feeling sorry for the crabs that died only to end
up atop that slider.

EDITOR’S CHOICE

The All-Jacked-Up Burger at McPhail’s.
to bite into a burger and leave with a mouth full of
tasty, tasty cow, not bread. Having ordered The Bird’s
Filthy Harry burger (9 ounces, natch—no piddling
quarter-pounder for me), I was also biting into a pile
of thick-cut bacon and white cheddar cheese with my
cow. While not quite the bargain of the Cowboy’s
happy hour burger, The Bird is still close to the top of
the list for value. The Filthy Harry was $15.50. Half of
it came home with me.

Stiegler’s – Best burger to eat at the bar
I’ve always been a tiny bit afraid of Stiegler’s. I
think it’s the dirndl uniforms. Or perhaps it was the
horrible apricot schnapps I once had there. I’ve recently learned my fear doesn’t extend into the warm
and cozy restaurant’s bar, which just so happens to be
almost exactly halfway between JHMR and my home.
Saddling up to Stiegler’s bar, ordering the burger
($17) is a no brainer. (The burger is only available at
the bar, not in the main restaurant.) It’s also satisfying, but nothing super, super special. If you’re willing
to spend this much on a burger, there are better ones
out there.
The best part about it was that a few onion rings
made their way into my pile of fries. And the onion
rings are amazing. The burger is made of the trimmings from the restaurant’s tenderloins. Each patty is
six ounces and served with Gruyere, bacon, lettuce,
onion, a slice of pickle, and a tomato. The bun? Duh.
Stiegler’s is Austrian. A Kaiser roll, of course.

www.JHweekly.com updated daily l JH Weekly l March 14 - 21, 2012

39

READERS’ CHOICE
Submit your art
for the next cover
of JH Weekly
You don’t need a degree, or a C.V. with
fancy gallery listings. Just send us your
work, and we’ll drop it in the hopper for
consideration. Send digital images (9.5”
wide by 7” tall) to art@jhweekly.com.
Submit three images cropped to the
required size. Works chosen will
appear on the cover, along with a
brief bio, photo and details on where
to learn more about the artists and
their work. The object of this
campaign is to promote local
artists, so there will be no
payment for selected works.

Pearl St. Bagels
When I think of a local business that has cult-like customer loyalty and
instant name recognition, one name pops to the top of the list: Pearl
Street Bagels. Sure, Panera can also charge $3 for a bagel, but can it get
away with refusing to toast it for you? Pearl St. has a reputation for consistently having the best latte in town. And with the closing of pretty
much every gallery that showed local or contemporary art, Pearl St. has
also become Jackson’s most visible arts space. Local artwork aside, I really love that little leaf thing they do with the latte foam. Foam art is serious business as The Coffee Fest Latte Art Championship has a $2,500
grand prize this year. As a former barista, I can say it is the one place in
town that has never fucked up my latte with an incorrect milk-to-foam
ratio. Nothing ruins my day like burnt espresso from a surly Ukrainian or
Moldavian who’s rude because I’m not wealthy enough to buy her citizenship. Though if they could put Vladimir Putin’s face in my foam, I
might be impressed. – Aaron Wallis

JH ASTRONOMY CLUB

BEST STARGAZERS

When Walt Farmer held the very first Jackson Hole Astronomy Club meeting in 1992, he
was hoping for at least 20 members to show up. He got more like 50. And membership has
held near that ever since.
Five charter members, including club chair Mel Tucker, have remained at the core of an
organization made up of retired military, geologists, teachers, pilots, homemakers, professional astronomers, students, and a former Jackson mayor.
Club members meet once a month, usually at someone’s home or the American Legion
Hall. Dues are $12 to join and $10 to renew, annually. Members are entitled to use club
equipment which includes three powerful telescopes and a pair of astronomical binoculars. The club also hosts several “Star Parties” throughout the year—nighttime gatherings
for the cosmically-inclined.
“We’re pretty quiet this time of the year,” Farmer said. “Winter brings so much cloud
cover. Our peak season is May through October.”
Farmer said Venus is incredibly bright right now. Also, we are entering into a new solar
cycle which has made solar spots and solar winds more prevalent and spiked aurora borealis activity.
The JH Astronomy Club has already begun preparations for the total solar eclipse on
Monday, August 21, 2017. The track will put Jackson Hole in an enviable position to see
the event. – Jake Nichols

The Jackson Hole Community Band
Would like to say THANK YOU to
our fans, supporters, members,
and conductor Art Fuerte for a
great year and for voting us Best
of Jackson Hole 2012. We could
not make music without you!
www.JHCBand.org
Visit our website and
join our mailing list to
stay up to date with
JHCB concerts and
events.

Let get this straight: the most drop dead rockin’ musician who lives full time in Jackson Hole is
Pam Phillips. She holds court on Friday nights at the Granary playing jazz with her trio. Forget
about the pop stuff, and don’t get hung up on the fact that she’s not Ella Fitzgerald on vocals. Just
dig the fact that she plays her instrument with a passion and soul that is unmatched in our valley.
Her chops are top-notch, but it’s the raucous jubilation that fills her jazz playing that separates
her from the pack. – Judd Grossman

Many of us know that 2012 is the end of
the Mayan calendar, and some people believe it could be the end of everything—or
at least the end of life as we know it. No
matter what your religion, faith, spiritual
preference, or lack thereof and no matter
what time and place we are in, it just so happens that there is this new store that drinks
you in. And if you are seeking spiritual guidance, it is a destination that supports your quest. Colorful walls, magical lights, Buddhist tapestries, multiple shelves of new age books, jewelry, crystals,
candles, and sound bowls surround you, but more than that, Spirit Books has an other-worldly,
peaceful essence to it. It is the kind of place in which I just want to immerse myself. There are a couple of cozy chairs and a couch in one room that invite me to linger. I want to move in and make that
place my home. It is a little off Jackson’s beaten path, but it is in the heart of Wilson—in the same
center where Pearl Street Bagels and Wilson Backcountry Sports are located. I was directed there by
a friend and for me, that’s the best way to discover something special. – Teresa Griswold

best place to busk Town

BEST MUSICIAN
UNDER 17

www.jhweekly.com
Thank you
Jackson Hole

Square

Especially when they are few and far between, I’ve been partial to supporting talented street musicians. In much of Europe, particularly Ireland, its considered a service by local government and financially supported by communities and tourists. Even stars like Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi and
Tracy Chapman have had their runs of making a little cash on U.S. streets. While Jackson isn’t a
busker’s hub like Nashville, Asheville, Chicago, or even Boulder, minstrels have increased in numbers over the last couple of years during the summer months.
Town Square is the obvious landmark for such activity, but I’ve even seen little kids get relocated
for selling lemonade there, and who wants to be the backdrop for an antler arch photo?
Where it really seems to add color is Gaslight Alley. The rickety wooden boardwalk coupled with a
confined space makes for solid acoustics. I was in a hurry one day, tending to a number of errands
when I happened upon a big-voiced fella singing Dylan’s “I Shall Be Released.” He was nestled in
the right angle corner of the Alley, and music could be heard from either entrance. It slowed me
down, and for a moment, the errands didn’t matter so much. I could use that reminder on a daily
basis. – Aaron Davis

BEST PUBLIC ART Local

TERESA GRISWOLD

Spirit Bookstore

Taggers

Oh boy this is a toughie; there is so much public art in Jackson. Fortunately most of the public
art is excluded from consideration because Western kitsch is not real art. That rules out all of
those awful bronzes in front of Mountain Trails Gallery. Excluding Western art also rules out the
elk antler arches on the Town Square. We should just grind them up to help Asian men get boners.
I’m suddenly realizing there is really not much in the way of non-Western public art in town. I
guess the Public Art Spot deserves an honorable mention. Though I’m sure the panel that selects
artists would never pick anyone controversial. What good is art if it is not controversial? Ben Roth
also deserves an honorable mention for his stingray sculptures at the Rec Center. They always
give me something to look at when I’m trapped in a cold sauna with a bunch of fat chicks. So who
deserves credit for best public art in Jackson? I’m going to go with graffiti artists and taggers. The
black meth box with legs was the funniest and most relevant piece of public art last year. Graffiti
is made without public funding or administration and embodies the outsider quality that is sadly
missing in approved public art. – Aaron Wallis

YOU
ROCK!

Michael
Scalabrino
GOLD WINNER
Best Musician
Under 17

BEST VISITING CELEBRITY

Justin Timberlake
Jackson has plenty of local celebrities. Every time I go to the grocery store there is a chance I will
be standing behind Han Solo or war criminal Dick Cheney. But Jackson also attracts plenty of
celebrity visitors. Justin Timberlake brought Jessica Biel to the picturesque Amangani resort before
popping the big question. Oh, how romantic! I’m sure Timberlake must have been busy making sweet
love in 7th Heaven, because he did not have time for another impromptu beat box sesh at the Cowboy Bar. Jackson has been getting so many celebrity visitors that Forbes Magazine named it a top
celebrity getaway, calling us the “Anti-Aspen.” Even African-American celebrities visit snow-white
Wyoming, like Lil Wayne, who snowboarded at Teton Village last year. However, if you prefer your
black celebrities mostly white, Jackson has got you covered. Apparently Tiger Woods now owns property in Jackson. I imagine Jackson is just the kind of secluded place Woods needs to keep his serial
philandering on the DL. I hear Sandra Bullock used to live around here, too. I just hope when she decides to shoot Miss Congeniality 3 that Jackson is considered as a location. – Aaron Wallis