Saturday, May 16, 2015

Why would you buy cat food from people who hate cats?

It isn't just Iams. Pretty much every pet food company which has ever made a tv or radio commercial advertising its product has slapped human voices on animals, and they all have one thing in common: they all portray cats, dogs etc. as being spoiled-rotten jerkwads who live to demand food from their human slaves and are snarky, selfish and downright dickish in doing it (if this cat wants meat so badly, why doesn't it get off it's furry ass and catch a freaking mouse like it's supposed to? )

Seriously- when was the last time you saw a commercial in which a cat or dog "thought" something kind or polite or grateful?

If our pets actually could express themselves with human words and used the ones advertising execs insist on giving them, I think most of us would give them their walking papers and tell them to hit the freaking road. Kids are bad enough- who the hell would want to live with one of these nasty things?*

*I have to admit, I haven't understood the attraction to pet ownership thing since my dog died when I was fourteen. If you own a dog where I live, you have to get them hundreds of dollars worth of shots and they are still going to get sick and die after costing you a small fortune to keep them well. When you take them for walks you have to carry a plastic bag to pick up their leavings (and to all you people who use transparent bags for this purpose- seriously, what is with you people? Are you all colonists from planet douchenozzle, or what?) Cats use a lovely little box which stinks up whatever room it's in and must be cleaned out regularly. I just don't get this at all.

The thing you have to understand is that cats really ARE spoiled-rotten jerkwads who live to demand food from their human slaves and are snarky, selfish and downright dickish in doing it...but we the cat lovers love them for it anyway.

I'll hand one thing to IAMS. They are not doing the crazy thing other premium cat-food brands are doing these days. which is filling their cat food with all sorts of crap cats don't need, and by that I don't mean gluten--I mean sweet potatoes and cranberries and stuff like that. What is this, Thanksgiving? Cats don't give a crap about sweet potatoes and cranberries. They are obligate carnivores and thus, as IAMS points out correctly in this ad, they eat and need to eat meat. Period. All this adding of fruit and veggies and rice to cat food and slapping a higher price tag on it is nonsense.

Blue Buffalo is a prime offender in this regard. They have a commercial in which a "pet mommy" is horrified to discover the food she's been feeding her cat contains NO veggies or fruits but does contain "meat by-products." Horrors! The cat food contains various chopped-up animal body parts that CATS LOVE TO EAT! That they actually WOULD eat if they caught and killed their own prey in the wild! Heaven forfend! Instead, she wants to make her cat's dinner into a Thanksgiving feast. When all her cat really wants to eat is the body parts of other animals. It's a heck of a lot cheaper and also healthier for the cat.