Broken open

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Home is _______ (fill in the blanks)

Called Jan this morning to reconfirm I can come home and he sounded kind of nervous. Then I rang my mother who also sounded nervous. I can imagine that the transfer from hospital to home is more awkward for the caregivers than it is for me. But I don't want a special hospital bed in the living room or avoid stairs. I just want to get out of here and get some fresh air and good food and be with the nearest. But I didn't see myself lying down the stairs in a puddle of blood or in an ambulance or in a half coma for 3 days. Jan and mama did.

This morning I was already packing at 8:30 AM.

Books: check

Halo clothes: check

Spare nuts and bolts :-) : check

Instruction guide 'Living with a Halo': check

Return prism glasses: check

Cards and flowers and gifts: check

check check check

Jan and Mama enter the room at 2:15 PM and I cannot wait to go home.

Getting in the car is a strange experience with the halo but it helps to put my butt first, then the rest.

When we're on the highway, I intensely enjoy just being in the traffic. (I guess I fell really hard)

At home... I am flooded with love

Where to start? Everybody's there waiting for me. Champagne. Laughter. There I go weeping again. This moment is just too intense.

Jan bought a new adjustable relax sofa and special 'No fall possible' shoes. Somebody created a nice little corner with the sofa, lights and a table for books, looking outside the window into the winter garden. The stairs are covered in anti-slip industrial material. Two special men did that. The laundry place is now a bathroom. Ladies I love did that. A 1000 watt light hangs above the stairs, lighting the galaxy. The house is clean and cosy and smells great. Everything that could make me fall or stumble is removed, including Whiskey our cat.

To top it all off there is a huge Christmas tree in the living room, a real one.

When everybody left and I was alone with Jan, I did not know what to say. I just wanted to be close to him and hold him. For he is truly the finest man alive. And I am grateful for such family and friends as well.