When Dreams Change

We were
sitting in his office – him, leaning back in his chair with his feet on his
desk, me, in the swivel chair across from him with my feet tucked
beneath me, spinning myself around and around and around as I tried
to make a decision.

I had been
planning the cross-country move for more than a decade. I attended
university after high school like my parents wanted, even earning a “sensible
degree” in economics – but my passion had always been horses. The deal
was that if I graduated from university, my parents would support me in
whatever I chose to do next, even if that meant moving 3000 miles
away to study horses at the best school of its kind in the country.

Hours
earlier I had received a letter from that school informing me that I
had been wait listed. They allowed ten students into the English
Horsemanship program and I was unlucky number eleven. I had flown across the country a month before
to tour the school and perform a riding test. I made one mistake –
picking up the wrong canter lead and not correcting it quickly enough – and I
was done. “You’re welcome to try again next year!” the letter said.

What was I
going to do?

“I’m going
to go anyway!” I finally decided, surprising even myself with the
boldness of the statement.

“Seriously?”
he asked.

“Seriously.”
I reached out to stop the spinning chair. “It’s now or never, right?”

“Well, if
that’s what you want to do …” I could tell he wasn’t sure. I don’t have a
history of courage, and the thought of me, moving across the country to a place
where I didn’t know anybody, had no place to live, and had no job lined up must
have seemed a little bit silly. But I was sure.

Three months
later he dropped me off at the airport with a crushing hug and a promise to
keep in touch, and I stepped onto a plane with two suitcases crammed full
of my worldly possessions.

* * * *

I spent the
summer working as a wrangler at a ranch for inner city kids, allowing me to
combine my passion for horses with my passion for youth. Midway through the summer I received notice
that I had been accepted into the English Horsemanship Program at my dream
school, and everything else fell into place.

At first it
was everything I dreamed it would be. I
took classes on saddle fitting, tractor driving, and hoof trimming. I rode horses every day – for college credit!
I loved every second. My dreams were
coming true!

But somehow,
something wasn’t quite right.

During the
summer I used my horse knowledge – my passion – to reach kids. For whatever reason, even the toughest of the
tough opened up at the corral – and I was able to tell them about Jesus. For the first time in a very long time horses
weren’t a tool to achieve my own aspirations – they were a tool to reach
hurting youth for Jesus.

But that
wasn’t the dream. And I couldn’t change my dream – could I? What would people think? That I had given up? What would I do? Drop out of school? Where would I live? Where would I work? Would I have to move back home? What
would people think?

I fought it
at first, clutching tightly to what I had always worked for. I didn’t want to disappoint my friends, my
family, or my coaches. I was afraid to
stop my full-steam-ahead charge towards achieving what had always been my
dream. For twenty-one years my life had
been pointing towards one goal and one goal only. Changing direction seemed like a waste, especially
since I had no idea what the future held.

But then I
realized the truth: “A man’s heart plans
his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”(Proverbs16:9, NKJV). I had been
dreaming and planning for my entire life, but had I allowed the Lord to direct
my steps?

Psalm 37:4
says “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your
heart.” (ESV) The more we delight ourselves in God, the
more aligned we will be with what He wants for us and our lives. Our desires become better aligned with His –
and nothing else matters. Not what our
friends think, or our families, or our coaches.

The bottom
line: Dreams change, and so do we.

God doesn’t. He is the same yesterday and today and
forever. (Hebrews 13:8, NIV). If we trust Him and allow Him to work in our
hearts and our lives, He will pour on the blessings in astonishing ways. (2 Corinthians 9:8, MSG).

~~~

Readers, How have your dreams changed over the years? Have you seen God use your own plans to better reveal His own?

Holly Berg is a wife, mama, writer and horse nut who wrangles children by day and words by night. She writes to challenge, encourage and inspire others to see beauty in the everyday, minister in the mundane, and share their stories along the way. Read more of her writing athttp://scattered-words.net.

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