Sunday, February 23, 2014

At least I'm no longer worried

Ever since I got a save-the-date card last year for a friend's wedding next month, I have worried.

I really wanted to go.

It will be a fun wedding, I am sure. If I don't go to things, people will stop inviting me. I already worry that I don't get invited to things not because people don't want me there but because they forget about me and it never occurs to them to invite me. Mostly, though, I wanted to be part of my friend's big day.

I am also worried that I am growing complacent, too, happy to sit at home and do nothing. I spent the recent three-day President's Day Weekend napping, reading, watching TV and goofing around on my computer. Yes, it was a snowy weekend but still …

This wedding would be a way to show myself that I still do stuff.

I engaged one niece to give up the first part of her spring break and go with me as a helper. I'd fly her here, then we'd head to New York City by train. Yes, NYC, I dislike the very idea of New York, but I wanted to go to the wedding.

I started looking into hotels, and at some point both Mom and my sister asked whether we should check whether the venues are accessible. Sure, I said, but naively I was thinking, "Of course they are; that's the law, right?"

Isn't my naivete cute?

On that same President's Day Weekend, one of the things I did was check out the venues. They were historic sites at Columbia University. Even my trust is limited. When I heard that, I started doubting I'd be going.

An email from the Disability Services Office confirmed it. The accessible bathroom is in the building the reception is, but it requires you to go outside, go to another entrance, use an intercom to get in, then head to the bathroom.

I am not sure where but I know that somewhere along that route, my bladder would decide that enough is enough.

So that was it. I RSVP'd no. I texted my niece.

I am trying to be less complacent. I went out with co -woekers last week, though hearing was im[possible. I made plans to do stuff -- a movie, dinner, lunch when it warms up. I went to my nephew and niece'sa hockey game.

What's this?

A friend of mine and I decided that when you are bitter, you have two options. You can be mean and angry bitter, which begets pity. Or you can be a funny bitter, which inspires laughter, maybe empathy and even learning. It is a very fine line between the two.

I asked my favorite visual artist I am related to to illustrate this. She did an awesome job.It is quite a task. I am definitely bitter. I hope I am funny.