It's the end of the world as you know it – brought to you by a Gnome Mage with big balls of fire

Two Parts Fail, One Part Win

He was the king of the Huntards.
The kind of Hunter that makes even Huntards cringe.

Then there were the WSG flag carriers that were too 1337 to carry the flag.

Then there was the gift I received on the last day of my holiday.

King of the Huntards

I was in AB when I got a whisper asking me to heal HCoS. Actually, there was no whisper, just a blind invite.

I had to decline multiple times before I got a break in the action (also known as death) to whisper him. I told him I was in AB thus couldn’t join him.

His response… An invite.

Unfortunately (on so many levels) the AB was a quick loss. So I took the next invite and rushed down to CoS.

The party was waiting impatiently for me, so I popped the crates (what had they been doing?).

Arthas started his spiel, we waited at the gates. As Arthas finally arrived the Huntard announced:

I only have 200 ammo, so I will save my awesome DPS for the bosses.

We all /groaned

I was thinking, but not acting on the little voice in my head that was saying…

Run away little Gnome!

But then, I was big Squid and could handle anything.

The other Hunter in the party suggested he just run back outside and get some ammo… and no, he had none to spare.

King of Stupid

After a few minutes of begging he finally relented and ran off.

Thank god I thought, he will be back in a fee minutes with his ammo and we can start the event as a full party.

Ho! What’s this he exclaims as he runs up the road. Arthas has something to ask me?

You are now saved to the instance

Stupid dick… He hasn’t even got his ammo… In fact he has gone off looking for it after initiating the run, saving us to a timed run!

No choice now

Why oh why Blizzard do we have to be saved before a boss goes down?

Too late to worry, we have a job to do.

The 4 of us forge onwards recklessly rushing from encounter to encounter to compensate for the lost dps.

We reach the 1st boss, engage and he returns…

I couldn’t find any ammo!

It gets worse

It does get worse, but I am a bit tired of relating the story now. I can only embellish it so much before I shake my head and cry.

The highlights lowlights

His pet “Tankthat” is, errr, umm, tanking. I thought that was what we brought the tank for. The worst part I’d that his pet is tanking the tanks targets – not the risen zombies that are chowing down on me.

Maybe he wouldn’t have died so often if I could get the heals off…

He died, multiple times. We all died multiple times. He somehow managed to pull aggro all the time and… Die.

I thought hunters, particularly hunter without ammo, had ways of dealing with aggro?

Finally we make it to the gauntlet, but there is only 4 minutes on the clock.

The Huntard pipes up…

Don’t worry, I’ll do awesome DPS through here.

Luckily the tank was a Paladin and could Rez me after he somehow survived… Momentarily.

The Paladin and I hastily Rez the rest of the party. For some reason the Huntard isn’t accepting my Rez.

Why did you Rez my pet he asks?

I didn’t, I replied

But I should have. After all his mindless pet was a better player than he was!

I’m so 1337 you are losing the BG for me.

Two different battles, same result… Frustration.

Battle 1: I recognize the warriors name. Can’t remember why.

I rush to the enemy flag room, as does he.

He grabs the flag, I cover him.

It was as we ran up midfield that I remembered who this warrior was.

He’s the flag carrier that can’t run in a straight line, can’t resist a fight and worst of all, can’t cap.

There will be a clear path to our base. The Horde won’t have our flag. Still he zigs and zags from one Horde pack to another. Some times he is looking for a fight (like doubling back from our tunnel entrance to the mid field) other times he just stupidly runs into the honor farmers and gets… well he gets farmed.

Unfortunately he isn’t the only flag carrier with this attitude.

Battle 2: we have the honor of having a 1337 BG Hunter with us.

How do I know he’s 1337?

Because he is constantly telling us how 1337 (pure awesome) he is and how bad we are.

His very 1st words were:

Pure Awesome

Someone else suggested:

If we control midfield we will win the game!

He’s right, but only in context.

If we are capping the flag then it is good to control midfield

If we are controlling midfield, it is good to control midfield.

We had NO FLAG CARRIER!

He wouldn’t do it, neither would anyone else. I tried in the end and got slaughtered because, well you know, Mr. 1337ness wasn’t controlling mid field.

We lost, dismally.

Still, I guess Mr. 1337ness would have been satisfied with his 31 killing blows.

I was raring to get to Org… But the raid disbanded about me. Apparently I joined a raid that had just left Org.

Never mind, the bosses respawn every 8 hours right? Won’t be that hard to get into another raid, right?

Well my mates had done it and didn’t want to do it again.

The guild had done it and didn’t want to do it again.

The 1/2 dozen raids I have joined since March have either collapsed due to lack of numbers, more level 50’s than 80’s or due to arguments about where to start.

If we did actually start, we would do somewhere other than Org, then those people that just got new mail would leave the raid, damning the attempt.

Last Day of Leave

On Monday when I logged in on Squidly I decided I would put my last day of holidays to good use. I signed up for the daily instances and BG.

But then I noticed the call for For The Alliance. I immediately whispered that I would be back on Gnomeaggedon.

5 maybe 10 minutes later the raid was forming in Azshara.

Buffed and ready, we path of frost down the river and take Org by force.

It was so easy, so beautiful.

BRB as the Squid

I announce that I am relogging as Squidly for the next bits.

The second the login progress bar clears from the screen, the raid invite is waiting. 10 seconds later I am summoned.

We storm Tent City.

We port to IF, fly to WPL…

We storm Bone Town.

We port to Shatt, port to Quel’Danas to fly to Zul’aman.

(Easiest Achievement Ever! Take the portal from Shattrah… done!)

Well, not all of us, some of us don’t have the FP.

Two minutes later the summoning stone at Zul’Aman is working over time pulling the rest of us through.

Belf Town down.

No fuss, no bother. No one quit group when they got their achievement unless they like me were getting an alt to continue the run.

Probably a 1/4 of the members had done it before – obvious by the bears they were riding. Still, no complaints, they were there to help.

It was probably the best organized raid I have ever been in. All the more amazing because:

There were 40 people

We went all over the world

It wasn’t scheduled.

We were a PuG of 40 players that performed better than many 10 or 25 man guild raids.

So my thanks go out to Valex and all the others, all 38 of you, that made it such a smooth and fun run.

But wait there’s more

Well, not really, but if I am going to do a post with more pictures than content, no harm in throwing a few more in… You already stopped reading anyway didn’t you…? Didn’t you?

Ohh I snuck back and scattered most of them throughout the post… so even if you aren’t reading this, you probably already looked at the pictures… suckers… But I do have one left.

What’s the one, OK, 2 things that Gnomeaggedon needs?

Healers and a Tank of course!

Speaking of Gnomeaggedon…

This is going on a bit isn’t it… anyway, I thought I would share a blog comment with you, especially all your HardLore Mage players…

Whoops, looks like April Fools hasn’t ended for some people.

I can’t decide whether to delete it… or frame it.

PS: Sorry

I know I am like the really bad comedian that wont get off the stage no matter how much rubbish you throw at him.. he just picks up the tomato and starts eating them.

But I just wanted to say sorry to Rilgon for having a lend of him on Twitter last night… extra 3 hours of work on my 1st day back from holidays, to miss WoW before weekly maintenance, then start, but never stop, writing this post… well it all sort of got me in a silly mood.

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5 Responses

Your huntard reminds me (in the sense that he was a huntard) of one I ran into recently. He wanted to roll against a DK (not mine, I already had it) for Hellreaver (str/stam/crit from ramparts). He claimed to know the game since he had 4 or 6 or some amount of 80s which was higher than zero but clearly not high enough to actually teach him anything.