Parents and Nannies

Our lift door opened, and in came a young mom, her husband with a little baby in his arms, and some 5 seconds later, a nanny quickly walked into the lift, with a few bags in her arms. She stood quiet inside the lift while the parents spoke in ‘baby language’ to their firstborn.

I’ve seen this scene a lot in Jakarta (and in Singapore).

A few thoughts crossed my mind that morning, and this time, I put myself in the nanny’s shoes.

How does it feel for her to come into a family as a stranger, and look after their little precious baby?

It must’ve been hard.

Nannies are also NOT allowed to lose their coolThe family has its own family culture, habits, and rules, which the nanny needs to learn and ‘follow’.

It’s even tougher when the parents delegate the ‘looking after their precious’ to the nanny – when they both work or when one goes out to work.

Which means, the nanny needs to look after the baby’s physical needs, understand what the parent wants, and when the baby rejects food (oh yes, some babies older than 6 months old DO reject food, … like mine), the nanny has the obligation to make sure (patiently and diligently) the baby ‘finishes’ her food.

When babies get difficult, which they often do as they get older (they scream, kick, refuse, throw tantrums), nannies are also NOT allowed to lose their cool.

“Who are YOU to tell my baby off!”Many parents also refuse to let the nannies ‘reprimand’ the baby, while still asking them to look after the baby most of the day.

“Who are YOU to tell my baby off!”

“Don’t speak to my baby like THAT!”

“You are SO NOT patient!”

…

I’ve heard and read too many ‘scary’ stories parents share about their nannies: how they force-feed their babies, how some quietly give babies cough syrups so they sleep faster and cry less, how nannies pinch their babies, etc.

…

As a mom of three who looked after own 3 babies myself without any nanny / maid, I must say: looking after a baby (babies) is HARD WORK!

The task of looking after a baby may look simple to some, but until you do it yourself, … only then you’d find out how it does take a LOT of effort (and God’s grace!) to be patient, to be cool, to be persistent, especially when the babies get older and more mobile, and start to throw tantrums, etc.

(On top of all that, we still have to prepare food, look after the house and ourselves, teach our babies, work from home, and … the list goes on … )

So what am I saying?

I just want to say, nannies are nannies.

If we choose to engage nannies to look after our little one, we need to realise that we are inviting strangers who bring along their own cultures, upbringing, mental state, habits, into our home, AND we’re letting this person to interact with our baby A LOT each day.

Many (if not all) come with LIMITED knowledge of looking after babies.

Even ‘so-called experienced’ nannies have their ‘own way’ of looking after babies (which we may not agree with when applied to OUR babies).

eg. Some nannies get ‘physical’ towards little ones or ‘verbally scare’ babies to make them obey (because that’s how they’d do it back in their village)

… time to take up the baton and be the ‘main’ caretaker of our own little precious?If our baby is oh so precious to us, if we have our own preferences on how things should be done for our babies, if we often get irritated on how our nanny treats our babies, … then may be, just may be, it’s time to take up the baton and be the ‘main’ caretaker of our own little precious? (making the nanny’s role as ‘extra help’ around the house)

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Who is behind Our Everyday Things?

My name is Leonny and I'm a Mom of three - Anya, Vai and Brie. I love to capture and share what I treasure, learn and observe in life, which includes parenting thoughts and other pro-family messages - basically, topics that are close to my heart. I hope my blog can inspire everyone who comes to visit.