Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the needto engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the otherside of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to crossthe road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure --right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets thechance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't aboutme.......

DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he mustfirst deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goesafter the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do ishelp him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why hewants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learnfrom his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going togive this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road andnot live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want toknow if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken iseither against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite imageof the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet beenallowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken'sintentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY PELOSI:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in hiseyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had astanding order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the pricedropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insiderinformation.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road?Did he cross it with a toad?Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not beentold.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chickenis gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say weboycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberalmedia white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and assimple as that.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody toldus the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to thechicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how itexperienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish itslifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, butwill lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This newplatform is much more stable and will nevercra...#@&&^(C%.........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath thechicken?

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition ofchicken?

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.