Hello I'm from Sunderland ( tyne and Wear )I was diagnosed in my mid 40s !also have anger issues !I think anyone who is autistic will feel anger more intensely !that's the only difference! but anybody can have anger issues .

I have been told I have anger issues (by people I know, not by a professional). I'm actually quite calm and I take a lot of crap from other people, but then I reach a threshold where I just can't take it anymore and I blow up. The fact that I am usually very calm must make other people think that nothing is bothering me, but I just do not show my inner frustration very well, and if I try to verbalize what is bothering me people just think I am complaining and ignore me, until it becomes a serious problem and I do anything to get out of the situation, and then I am accused of being an "angry person". Now that I know I'm on the spectrum, I think this is a meltdown rather than just regular anger. Could that be the same for you? If so, then perhaps your anger issues have to do with being on the spectrum.

I think the best advice I could give, whether you are experiencing meltdowns or just regular anger, is to know what induces anger in you and to try to distance yourself from situations that bother you. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done if it involves other people, because people often do not care about the feelings of others if it doesn't directly affect themselves.

I have been told I have anger issues (by people I know, not by a professional). I'm actually quite calm and I take a lot of crap from other people, but then I reach a threshold where I just can't take it anymore and I blow up. The fact that I am usually very calm must make other people think that nothing is bothering me, but I just do not show my inner frustration very well, and if I try to verbalize what is bothering me people just think I am complaining and ignore me, until it becomes a serious problem and I do anything to get out of the situation, and then I am accused of being an "angry person". Now that I know I'm on the spectrum, I think this is a meltdown rather than just regular anger. Could that be the same for you? If so, then perhaps your anger issues have to do with being on the spectrum.

I think the best advice I could give, whether you are experiencing meltdowns or just regular anger, is to know what induces anger in you and to try to distance yourself from situations that bother you. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done if it involves other people, because people often do not care about the feelings of others if it doesn't directly affect themselves.

Is there any advice or any techniques you could recommend so that I can try and make myself better and also that my life will become much much better not just for me but those around me that I love.

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I think I've just started a recently and I know it's going to sound strange is to breathe I hold my breath in a lot and since I've started purposefully being still and breathing I'm starting to feel very slightly better another one is forgiveness I'm not saying become a believer in any faith ,all I'm saying is if you don't forgive it's very toxic ,A known fact discovered by biomedical research is is one of the ways of contracting breast cancer is by storing the unforgiveness in the Breast area ,by then its pressure and the pressure obviously becomes so toxic that it becomes cancerous and begins to destroy the breast, would you will probably know also happens to men
Forgiving isn't easy ,it is never been claimed to be easy !but it will help you !not forgiving makes you feel very unwell, a lot of people can't do it but if you do you do would you start to feel better I think especially people who are autistic will probably feel it more intensely when they do forgive .
And nothing about forgiving Says you will forget because that is a survival mechanism , this is what I've learnt so far and I am quite innocent in socialisation so can't tell you much more .

I have been told I have anger issues (by people I know, not by a professional). I'm actually quite calm and I take a lot of crap from other people, but then I reach a threshold where I just can't take it anymore and I blow up. The fact that I am usually very calm must make other people think that nothing is bothering me, but I just do not show my inner frustration very well, and if I try to verbalize what is bothering me people just think I am complaining and ignore me, until it becomes a serious problem and I do anything to get out of the situation, and then I am accused of being an "angry person". Now that I know I'm on the spectrum, I think this is a meltdown rather than just regular anger. Could that be the same for you? If so, then perhaps your anger issues have to do with being on the spectrum.

I think the best advice I could give, whether you are experiencing meltdowns or just regular anger, is to know what induces anger in you and to try to distance yourself from situations that bother you. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done if it involves other people, because people often do not care about the feelings of others if it doesn't directly affect themselves.

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The description of holding it in then exploding describes me so well. I have tried letting off steam before getting to full on rage, but that usually backfires as well. Most of the time it feels like I can’t win.

Hello, @Matthew Wilson! I won't "bare" with you (I don't know you well enough) but I will "bear" with you. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

But seriously, I've heard that anger is a secondary emotion. In other words, something deeper is causing your anger and being masked by it. Could being rejected by most people your entire life for being different be the root cause? That makes logical sense to me.

Anyway, welcome. I hope you find this forum to be supportive and helpful!

I have severe anger issues and this has put a major strain on many relationships in my life. I am currently trying to work on this and also find ways to resolve it.

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Anger is an all-to-common response to the frustration which can be precipitated from two of our commonly shared traits: dyssoci[ety?] & perfectionism.

I still often feel the former, internally, but in both cases, I've learned how to step outside of myself and grapple with each perceived affront more objectively. This problem-solving stance tends to avert meltdowns and channel that energy more effectively.

For the latter, I have come to understand that [my] mortality precludes me from any mathematical model of perfection. The Omnicompetent Man is a fictional archetype. He never gets hungry, tired or has a "bad hair" day. I am quite content in just improving my game from one day to the next (factoring in a certain amount of error).

Hi & Welcome,
Thats one you need to get under control to have good relations with people. For me it is a control thing. Do I control my emotions or does it control me. And once you put it away, never let it back.