Husband(35) expressed his love for me(36) in a surprising way

My husband(35) and I(36) are nearing the 10-year anniversary of our first date. We've shared the highest of highs (the births of our two daughters) and the lowest of lows (the death of one of our daughters).

Through it all, my husband has been my rock. He has never failed to make me feel loved and desired. We enjoy a healthy love/sex life and do our best to openly communicate at all times.

As we were reminiscing, I said, "You've loved me at my heaviest and at my skinniest and you're saying you don't have a preference?!" Without missing a beat, he said, "I loved at your happiest. Your weight had nothing to do with it."

That comment just made me stop and appreciate/love him even more. It takes a really special person to love someone, flaws and all.

Edit: Oh look, a shiny! Thank you kind stranger!

Edit 2: Oh my god, you guys are awesome! I just wanted to share the love. Thank you for the gold, sweet person!

We met online. I saw his profile pic and thought, "WOW. I've gotta message him." A few weeks later, we decided to meet in person at a bookstore. I walked right up to him and asked if he'd like to join me for a soda pop and French fries. He was stuck with me after that.

My first date with my fiance was at a book shop. We broke up for a while and my new criteria for dating men after him was that they had to read books. Then we ended up crossing paths a few years later and decided to walk together since.

It's when the person you love is happy and when he or she smiles, his/her smiling is all you can see because you feel so happy when you see him/her that happy. The world around you vanishes, with him/her smiling happily simply because you are together doing an activity that you both enjoy and in that very moment, it is just you and your lover, who loves you so deeply that no end can tear you apart except for Death, that matters and you wish time stood still; but in fact, time has forever frozen, and you just didn't know it, but that moment is forever burned into your heart, your mind and soul. And you wish that you can give the very best you have to this wonderful wonderful person because you love them so much.

Just as Bruno Mars sang so eloquently, 'when I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change. Coz you're amazing, just the way you are. And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while. Coz you're amazing, just the way you are.'

I don’t think the English is correct. I am assuming that words are missing and it’s supposed to say “I loved you at your happiest” with the assumption also, but unsaid being ‘I loved you at your unhappiest’.
It’s a bit of a twist on the wedding vows - in sickness and in health etc but she’s commenting on her weight as if her husband would love her any less when she’s slightly heavier.
I hope that’s clearer!

It's a shame you can't see it for what it is. A lot of women create their identity based on several factors, most of which is the appearance of themselves that they've created in their heads. I'm sure my husband doesn't see my jiggly bits the same as I do but sometimes they're all I see when I look in the mirror.

You sound super jealous. It's fine to be jealous,it's not fine to pick shit apart to make yourself feel better. Insufferable. Unless you have autism or something and you genuinely dont realize how your comment comes off.

I see what you're saying now. Unfortunately, that's happened in some relationships. People change as they grow older and their SO can't get past it. I don't love myself at my heaviest, so I feel it's only natural that someone else couldn't either.

Yes, my fiance said to me that when I am happy, I can shine radiantly, almost like the sun. Its for that reason that he says I am his Sun, giving light to an otherwise dark world and that his universe revolves around me.

It's not a trick question, and lying to your spouse is never something to be "on fire" about (not that he did lie, but you thinking he has to be is very telling about you and society's attitude towards women in general).

It's taken a lot of work and dedication. It helps that we love each other, but we really try to treat each other with respect at all times. We still argue, disagree, and act grumpy (usually it's me), but it just shows that we're human.

As a husband I concur. I haved loved my wife at her happiest and her saddest and my preference is still her happiest. I always felt that how she feels is one of the things that indicates if I’m doing a good job.

I know! His actions speak just as loudly as his words. He shows affection in public just as he does in private. He tells me he loves me at the end of each phone call. Not to mention, he gives fantastic snuggles. I absolutely adore him!

Aww, what a wonderful thing for your husband to say! As important as self-acceptance and self-validation are, comments like this from our partners really do mean so much.

I’ve been making an effort to get healthier the past two years, but I’ve been with my boyfriend for three. I feel more physically beautiful now, but I never feel more TRULY beautiful than when I think about how eager he was to love “the old me,” back when I’d say I was at my worst. And honestly, it makes me reevaluate what my “worst” even is.

Like, health concerns aside... why should anyone feel that their our outward appearance determines how much they can or should be loved by someone else? And how rare are the partners capable of teaching us to see things differently?

My boyfriend has loved my body at every stage, and I’m grateful for that. But I’m even more grateful to have learned that my body is not the part of me that made him fall in love, and it shouldn’t be the part of me that I focus on most, either. The best parts of me are way deeper, far more meaningful, and much more genuinely associated with who I am than my outward appearance. And being loved this way by someone else really is transformative.

I’m so glad this is something you have with your husband, and I hope you and your family have many happy, healthy years ahead.

That makes me so happy for you and people who have wonderful relationships like this, but also makes me realize how rude my husband can be. He has gone on a weight loss journey and lost about 70lbs and I always tell him I love him no matter what size he is and I can honestly say I find him just as attractive as I found him before his weight loss. He calls me a chubby chaser and constantly critics my body. I only weigh 120lbs but I dont have toned muscles in the places he likes. Oof.

We all know that he actually loved you at your skinniest but knows very well that he should not say that. Well done him for thinking fast and not falling into your trap.

"You've loved me at my heaviest and at my skinniest and you're saying you don't have a preference?!" why would you set him up like that? It is like asking a guy if you look good in a particular outfit. There is only one acceptable answer, all other answers lead to destination fucked.

He knows I wasn't trying to set him up. It was an offhand comment in response to his indifference at my weight gain. His desire for me has been consistent throughout our 10-years together. My confidence in my sexual prowess through those years has not been though.

I was being a little facetious, but do you see my point though? If he had answered that he loved you at your skinniest you may well have been displeased with that answer. He gave a great answer and I hope that it is honest. It may be that you never know his inner truth as revealing to a partner that you find or found their weight unattractive can have disastrous consequences.

Most (not all) men find women of a healthy weight more attractive than women who are over weight. How do you think those men should respond when posed the question "did you prefer me when I was thin" by their now overweight SO? It sounds like you are claiming that they should honestly say "I found you more attractive when you were thinner" and if they don't then they should not be in the relationship. I claim that saying "I love you for you" or "I love you when you are at your happiest" is the best option a man has in such a situation.

I have never liked that way of looking at it. It's about loving someone for who they really are, flaws and all. Defining love as because of flaws or in spite of them is a really limiting way to see it to me.

I get it, weight is a part of everyone’s identity. But why does it deserve to be the bottom line? Women often say things like “I gained 20 lbs and my husband didn’t threaten to leave me. I have an amazing husband. “ Is life really that trivial? From the first couple of lines, I though your post was about your family, your daughters, your relationship - things that matter a lot. So when it came down to weight in the end again, I was a bit like okay here we go again. Weight should not be the bottom line of how we think about ourselves and one another. It’s too trivial. There are much more important things about us than our weight. Sorry for venting.

No, you're quite alright. I'm in the process of losing weight because I don't like the way I look when I'm fat. I know my husband loves me for me, but I feel as if I'd be more attractive to him if I were skinnier. My clothes would fit better and I wouldn't be so tired all the time. I'm working on myself so we can continue to grow old together.