Sunday, October 25, 2009

Random Ramblings from the Vault...

So Saw VI apparently came out over this weekend. At this point, it's about at the same level as the Police Academy series, as far as sparking my interest.

Watched a Corman flick with my son called Attack of the Giant Leeches the other day. So chessy, but with a truly chilling scene in which victims are drained by the titular parasites. Who were basically guys wearing black garbage bags.

Almost got Gene Wilder to sign my copy of Young Frankenstein at the Avon Theatre last week, but I got there just a little too late. But the man still has it, as far as natural comic timing. Too bad he hasn't been offered a decent script in 20 years...

So is IFC Films now the go-to distribution for quality direct-to-video horror? Watch out Lionsgate and Rogue.

Listened to a radio show last night in which the hosts did a Halloween-themed show and talked about how it's good that old horror flicks are remade, that way they can "be brought up to the standards of today." Sigh.

The Mad Monster Party is really very enjoyable and a ton of fun. But two things prevented it from becoming a mainstream classic, in my opinion. One is that it should've been half as long. The other is Phyllis Diller.

Horror movie pet peeve: Why do people die instantly when their throats are cut? I'm no expert, but I do believe in real life it would take a few minutes to bleed out. Oh well, dramatic license, I get it. Just being a nitpicker.

The sheer amount of men's denim cut-off shorts in the original Friday the 13th is an unforgivable offense. Well, in fairness, I think your only options for men's shorts in 1980 were either that or those super-short running shorts with the white border. Tough call.

So do you prefer the humanoid style of werewolf, a la The Wolf Man, or the more lupine version, a la American Werewolf in London? Life's pressing questions, folks.

And finally, and most importantly, The Vault sends out get-well wishes to VoH associate BJ-C of Day of the Woman, who was briefly hospitalized over the weekend for a chronic lung condition. Hang in there, lady.

9 comments:

B-Sol, you know I love ya more than my own luggage, however I must take umbrage with a few of your observations.

* Much like Blue Bonnet margarine, everything's better with Phyllis Diller on it (or in it, or as a puppet). Just ask Fang (and if you don't know who Fang was, well, look it up.).

* I rue the day when men stopped wearing denim cut offs (and I know a few straight guys who feel the same way when the women folk did the same). It's hard to explain to the younger generation, but all that fumbling with buttons and zippers was a lot of fun and...oh well, it was a simpler time. ;)

That said, I am so with you concerning Saw. I tried watching part 5 (at least I think it was part 5) on cable the other night, and was so lost with all the damn flash backs, and jerky camera movements and speed ups and all the rest ... oh and let's not talk about the gaps in logic so big you could pilot a 747 through them.

As for the moron applauding the remakes of classic (and not so classic) horror films, that just speaks volumes about our culture these days - make it new, make it shiny, strip away the soul, and you've got a money maker!

I think I prefer the humanoid werewolves as opposed to the on all four werewolves. Occasionally they can look lame, but I thought the Underworld series struck a good balance between animal (ie. wolf like) and human (ie. on all fours and decently sized). And the brief glimpses of the new Wolfman seem similar.

I'm with Gord, sort of: I prefer the less humanoid, more animalistic lycanthropes. And I agree that the Underworld series had an excellent interpretation of what werewolves should look like. However, I would prefer them to look a little less gigantic, and a tad more fleet in appearance.

I'd love to hear that genius on the radio explain (with a straight face) how the 1999 version is any way better than The Haunting of '63 (which I saw again at a revival theatre last night, and it's still excellent).

This will probably come out as a cop out, but I'm more concerned with how well the humanoid or lupine creature works with the story. There are lame and good versions of either across filmdom, (downright scary ones, too). So, I'm going to enjoy the good ones no matter if it's WOLF or An American Werewolf in London.

Phyllis Diller ruins most things. Take for example an episode of Full House, when our good pal Joey Gladstone was getting ready to do his comedy act for a big audience and critic, when PHYLLIS DILLER rushed the stage and stole the mic for an hour causing Joey Gladstone to fail miserably, and reinvent his entire career. What a whore.

I never liked the first Saw. I hated the 2nd one. Therefore I stopped paying attention altogether. I'd rather watch I Know Who Killed Me on repeat, with Phyllis Diller.

Which horror film *should* be remade?

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I've been fascinated with horror ever since my parents let me watch The Exorcist at 8 years old (what were they thinking??) and I ran up to my bed screaming when Linda Blair's eyes rolled into the back of her head.Although it often gets a bad rap from "mainstream" critics and audiences alike, horror has often been the most creative and vibrant movie genre of all, from Nosferatu to Saw. Some of the finest motion pictures ever made are part of the horror genre, including Frankenstein, Psycho, The Shining and my personal all-time favorite, George Romero's Dawn of the Dead.This blog is the culmination of my 25-year love affair with all things blood and guts--so check back here often for news and opinion on the world of horror. And remember...