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Feedback on “Those first few steps”

On twitter & Skype I received lots of great feedback on dealing with anxiety – and not just anxiety on public speaking, but any kind of anxiety & triggers.

One of the web links that resonated with me the most with public speaking, anxiety and the buildup of fear was sent over by @UberGeekGirl, seriouspony – The method described here is awesome in that it isn’t trying to sell me something, isn’t trying to get me to deliver in a specific way or copy a pattern, it’s about changing the frame of mind and how you think of your presentation and what you do. I’ve book marked the page and added it to my talk “kanban” I use so that every talk I do, I re-read that post so I don’t focus on everything I don’t need to focus on (what a stress reliever!). I wish I had thought of this myself and thank Jessica for sending me that link.

Some other suggestions I really liked were from @SoberBuildEng. This one just make so much sense to me I wonder why I haven’t been practicing it. These little things you can do on a daily basis add up over time… Practice Practice & Practice.

@byron_miller Oh, I thought of one other thing: force yourself to make conversation with strangers. Cab/shuttle drivers, people in airports

And more friendly advice from @UberGeekGirl – an excellent talk on great talks. I know this is somewhat contrary to the Seriouspony link mentioned above of trying to focus too much on me and my talk style but in many ways, having a known formula that works is a huge piece of mind and definitely worth sharing!

Sometimes I seriously feel some of my anxiety stems not just from perfection/workaholic mindsets but from the fact that having a work-life balance is hard when you have a day job & you’re concerned about working all night on talks (or whatever the engagement is).. Being afraid of success is a weird thing to think of, but I do believe that if I’m honest to myself it probably is one of those factors in the anxiety. I haven’t been putting as much effort into “me time” as I should that I let the fear of having no “me time” prevent me from doing awesome. (please note, I work for HomeAway.com and I think its awesome they did this video as its just as fitting for the public as it is for its own employees)

I’ve promised myself (and my family) to use those vacation days, step away from it all and enjoy life and not let “yet another fear” make me that much more worried. I’ve even planned out my calendar of “Me” days and tentative vacation plans well out through the next year so as I do talks / CFPs and extra activities after work, they not only come second to my day job, but second to *me* and my family.. In a way, I’m already at ease as I feel a sense of relief in planning this out that I know the “me” i’m concerned about is the “happy me” as I need to be, not the “me” I think I need to be for everyone else.

Thanks everyone for the great discussions and as always, if you have any advice or suggestions – i’m all ears! In hindsight some of this seems so simple.. Hopefully some of what I shared helps you too!

Still working on it and I’ll provide more feedback after I do my next talks & speaking engagements!