Warning: If you have no sense of humor or tend to take things way too personally, this blog is not for you. If that isn't clear enough for you, see the disclaimer.

Is this subtle enough?

This work is protected under the Creative Commons.

Disclaimer

The stories in this blog are in compliance with HIPAA regulation. Details have been changed to protect patient privacy. I am not talking about you. While I originally said opinions expressed are my own, at the time I wrote whatever you are reading, upon further consideration you may not be reading my opinion at all. This blog is for entertainment. All stories are slanted with the intent to amuse, if you are into that sort of thing. If you are looking for a blog about beautiful birth stories, there are plenty out there, keep moving. This blog is not meant to offer or substitute for medical advice (i.e. call your doctor).

Drat! I had really hoped to see some crazy stories! LOL! I, too, read your blog in one sitting and I love your style and all you put into each entry. I can't wait for some more crazies to visit you--- sorry! LOL! (I'm 8 months pregnant, and stuck on bed rest, so it gives me great giggles!)

I'm glad things have been going well at work lately... although it's too bad for us! :) Any chance your co-workers could share their craziest stories, so that you could share them with us until until YOUR next crazy situation comes along?!!

I'm with Wendy; I got excited when I saw a new post and was quickly disappointed. But good for you that you have had a semi-normal job the past few weeks. I will be patiently waiting for a new weirdo to come by your nurse's station!

I'm hoping to be one of those insanely normal patients when I deliver in June. If you're ever low on ideas, would you consider posting a list of dos and don't for L&D patients? I learned a lot about being a good restaurant patron from Waiterrant's instructions and know I could use some for the mysterious world of labor and delivery.

I think you've been getting the word out nicely by blogging about what isn't okay in there! Keep it up so you can enjoy your job less stressfully, & as for the lack of posting, maybe have some readers send you their crazy stories?!

First off let me say that in no way am I trying to one-up this ultra-creative blog. But, today my Thursday Thirteen addresses the world of Labor & Delivery. So, while we anxiously wait for another crazy to walk into the Maternity Unit I thought maybe someone would be interested in my uncandid look at labor.

I would like to thank you for your public honesty. I've been quietly watching your blog and, while I'm aware of people like you, I'm not used to such indiscretion and open candor in your profession. I'll try to be as funny and entertaining as I can.I'm always looking for ways to demonstrate how pervasive obstetrical misogyny is. Your postings make my job easy. I'm not shocked by your attitude and behaviour but I am saddened. Women like you are featured prominently in many of the horror stories I hear on a daily basis. I'm equally saddened by the other nurses and other mothers who think you are hilarious. I'm also encouraged by the on-line feedback from other labour and delivery nurses who find your misogyny as unsavoury as I do.Systemic discrimination remains systemic because everyone participates - even those most negatively affected. Gender discrimination is not different. Your unvarnished hatred of other women feeds your need to feel superior. You aren't, of course, and you need to know that.I'm left to wonder why you would choose obstetric nursing as a career option in the first place and why you continue in this field. Perhaps you are addicted to sadistic behaviour? Maybe having your level of control over vulnerable, terrified women gives you a rush? Has the stress of working in such a high stress field left you with your own trauma symptoms? The last one is the only explanation that will get my sympathy.Birth Trauma Canada [www.birthtraumacanada.org]started as an organization dedicated to women whose trauma disorders were caused by their childbirth experiences. This remains our chief mission. To our surprise, however, we started getting calls from young women considering motherhood who wanted to know what childbirth was really like and from distraught and protective mothers of teenage girls who weren't practicing safe sex. They wanted us to save their daughters from a pregnancy that would ruin their lives. They wouldn't listen to their mothers. We could relate. We have teenage daughters ourselves and each of us was young, stupid and insolent at one time too. We answer each of these requests with respect and honesty. One of our volunteers works full time doing this. You will be pleased to know that she now uses copies from your blog and the RULES FOR LABOUR AND DELIVERY as step one in her cautionary tale along with a picture of what a newborn really looks like. She explains that the bright red blood covering the infant is from the mother's genital tract trauma. She doesn't need to explain your blog at all. The prospect of meeting someone like you and that one picture is usually enough to send them running to the drug store, dump their boyfriends or decide masturbation is the way to go. Your contribution to a lower teenage pregnancy rate is commendable. Letting young women know what they can realistically expect to find in a L&D unit will undoubtedly lower birth rates further. Good for you. It is so difficult advocating for human rights for women in obstetrics. It is so much easier to protect them if we can just get them to avoid pregnancy.

Ok, to the last commenter...who pooped in your cheerios, you are taking this way too serious.....come on now....we all have to vent about our work life and having been in the medical field myself, you know she treated every paitent with respect, and vented about it later highlighting the funny aspects of human nature. And yes some women are just down right stupid, but so are some men.....so if you didnt read the disclaimer at the top or just plain ignored it, this is for entertainment purpouses only, so if you dont like it, dont read it. I on the other hand love it as does hundreds of other WOMEN and men.

so take the stick out of you butt and quit taking everything so serious...

Oh my goodness, Penny...LIGTEN UP! Enjoy life, and get a grip!"I'm not shocked by your attitude and behaviour but I am saddened. Women like you are featured prominently in many of the horror stories I hear on a daily basis. I'm equally saddened by the other nurses and other mothers who think you are hilarious." Give me a break. This nurse is merely venting about her job and does a great job at making it hillarious for other mothers/nurses to read. What horror stories??? You must be crazy yourself. My L&D nurses were awesome, and I screamed so loud during delievery that the whole hospital heard, and I would die laughing if I read my story online. THIS BLOG IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT.SO CHILL OUT...maybe you have low self esteem since you feel the need to cut her down about her blog? I feel sorry for you that your sense of humor...well...sucks.

If you run out of stories, email me! I am an L&D RN in a large academic institution. We get them all and some of this crap you can't dream up on the strongest psychotropic drugs there are!!! I'd be happy to be a "guest blogger"!! PS Penny, I respect you mission, but please don't take this forum which is intended as humorous and lighthearted so personally. We nurses are professional and caring, and treat all patients with respect. If we let off steam with a giggle or two outside of the job it only makes us better equipped to handle our extremely stressful jobs when we go back in to work for the next shift. Please, lighten up or don't read the blog.

Wow Penny...Sense of humor does not apply to you at all. And I love how you think you know this nurse's beside manner just from reading a blog about some of the occupational absurdities encountered. Like the other's said...lighten UP!! I haven't had a child yet, but this definitley doesn't SCARE me at all about the process.

AND I think it's sad someone uses this blog as anti-teen pregnancy fodder. "Don't get pregnant, this nurse could blog about you!!" BAWHAHA!!

My goodness you ladies have been very busy. Such viciousness. And you don't even know me. Is that smart?Even after telling you clearly what I am doing with your comments you still continue. Is that smart?So, yes, Ravensjoy I do know there are stupid people out there. I've never met one yet who was smart enough to know they were stupid. They always make fun of the people they somehow think are stupider.

My reason for making my posting has nothing to do with how you folks get your jollies. Whatever spins your wheels is OK with me. My concern is twofold and completely altruistic. Have you noticed l&D.rn hasn't added to her blog for several days? March 12 and then to say nothing on March 24? Prior to that the hatred and anger would cycle and ramp up but it was always there and then - nothing. You would have no way of knowing this but I work with many trauma victims and not just traumatized mothers. This cycle of hatred and rage followed by a crash and burn is typical of PTSD. Following l&D.rn for so long and then having her drop off the radar got me concerned. I had been waiting for it to happen. When still nothing happened by March 31 I posted hoping I could get her to write back. I really do want answers to the questions I asked about her penchant for sadistic behaviour and the need for control. If this is what she is like - and I don't know - then it likely isn't PTSD. If, as some of you say, she is actually a sensitive, decent person I think she is hurting badly right now. The roller coaster of rage and hatred is sometimes followed by shame, embarrassment and guilt at the collateral damage done during the anger. Sometimes it is followed by zero GAFF (Give a Fuck Factor)where people just go numb and become detached. I can tell you your prompting and encouragement for more juvenile titillation is not helping her if this is PTSD. I can also tell you that PTSD among nurses (and other health professionals)is a big problem with not enough recognition. It is an especially big problem in high stress areas like L&D and pediatric oncology. All it takes is a brain , the ability to breathe oxygen and more stress than one person can be humanly expected to handle. I mentioned that I had two altruistic motives. I want you to consider how your comments and this blog reflect on OB nursing as a profession. I want you to look beyond what you think is funny. If your comments are received so negatively by young girls and prospective mothers how do you think they are received by the rest of the world (again, please look outside your view of things)? I can tell you it doesn't add anything to their credibility as professionals. Nurses have worked so long to earn the respect they have. Having you behave this way discredits them. Do you think that medical doctors (or any other professional)could do what you are doing so publicly and still maintain their professional demeanor? I hope you can see how that wouldn't be very smart.

penny, seriously. you are taking a slice of the blogosphere and diagnosing multiple women (commenters and blogger) you have never met. isn't that the first rule of medicine? don't diagnose without the whole story. take a step back, breathe, and get a grip.

First of all, I DO have an extremely High respect and regard for nurses. I do understand that sometimes nurses do not get the respect they deserve, and patients treat them wrongly, but I LOVED my nurses, and honestly without them I am not sure how I would have coped birthing my two sons.Penny, HOW DARE YOU diagnose someone over the INTERNET! I mean really, now that is unprofessional. Let me say two things. 1. My sister-in-law is a nurse and also blogs about her patients. It is a way for her to release. To share her career with others. Sometimes humorous, sometimes not. It helps her to release some of the stress of her job. I don't find her any less professional because she shares a silly story about a patient.I understand (and most people do) that nursing isn't all fun and games, it is a VERY serious position. It can be a very high stress job and it can get to you...if you let it. 2. If this girl is anything like me, and I have a feeling she is because of her sense of humor, sheis just merely sharing. If she didn't have the disclamier maybe then you could have some concern, but it still is NONE OF YOUR BUISINESS, and again...how DARE you diagnose someone via the internet! Come on!If we all went around doing what your are doing, we all would be diagnosed with something or other! I have a feeling if you were a Doctor, you would prescribe drugs to any person who walked in your door. Maybe you should step back yourself and look at your own behavior. You act like you care about this girl, but at the same time cut her down and disrepect her herself." If, as some of you say, she is actually a sensitive, decent person I think she is hurting badly right now." So...you are saying she is not a decent person because she blogs stories about her job. I understand and respect your mission...and there is cause for concern if you ACTUALLY KNOW the person, and the whole story.SO,again with the internet thing, inappropriate. So back off.

I'm a social worker for people with cognitive disabilities and my job is stressful, too. I get screamed at, hit, and cussed out on a weekly basis. But I wouldn't dream of blogging about all the "dumb" things my clients do, because I took this job and I understand that if they didn't have these behaviors and challenges, they wouldn't need me.

Look, I'm sorry, but to me making fun of her laboring women is like making fun of my clients. It's mean because they're easy targets, so to speak, and like it or not we're in positions of power. So, I suppose she has the right to make fun of her patients, but I have the right to say it's in poor taste.

If you ladies are unhappy with her blog, why are you reading it? And, why do you keep coming back? If you don't agree with what she blogs about, ignore and be on your way. Seriously...is it a drama thing? You need to come and post comments when she hasn't posted in a couple weeks? Maybe she's busy, or better yet...maybe she's on vacation!

Penny, If there weren't so many stupid people out there, she would have nothing to write about.

Were your pimp and boyfriend in the delivery room? Do you put strawberries in your va-jay-jay?

It's not like she's making fun of normal people. These people are silly to begin with!

Lighten up! Do you not think firefighters and cops make jokes that the rest would find disgusting? ( I don't think that is what this blogger is doing, btw) People deal with situations with humor. You should try it!

I was given your blog by a friend in a chat room for pregnant women. We love it! It is such a relief to find that some things happen to other people too! I am what you like to call a frequent flyer. I have had so many preemies that every ache or pain or anything sendss me to L&D. I hate to be that way but I would like to carry to term atleast once. I'm glad I ran across your post because it made me realize how some percieve us frequent flyers and it has enabled me to better voice my fears with my L&D nurses, which when they realize why I come in so much, they treat me better and with more respect. I think they thought I just wanted to see the baby on sono,lol. If they only knew how many of those I have had just from regular OB visits they'd know better! Besides your blog makes me feel better that I'm not half as crazy as some of the people that go into L&D. I have a legitimate fear and for good reason too. The last 15 times I have been to L&D (this last month to be exact) I have been in labor all but once. Now that I found your blog I take a story from it to share with the L&D nurses there and they are crazy about it too,lol. Too bad I have pregnancy brain and can't remember the link for them! well, I hope you post again soon, I really could use a laugh with finals for school coming up. (My dream is to be an L&D nurse since I practically live there anyways!)One of the other commenters suggested a not to do list which sounds great but maybe you could post a to do list too?

Hi. love your blog. I have had the privelege to birth two babies of my own. I would hope that my L & D nurses would be able to laugh at me as much as my husband and I do. I screamed at my husband with the first telling anyone who could hear that if they said they could see the head one more time without grabbing it and pulling it out i'd freak! :) with the second, i almost had her in the elevator and you can bet I cursed those ignorant ER nurses, but I certainly hope that the wonderful L & D nurse that ended up delivering my baby less then 10 minutes after I got there is able to tell my story of how I was more concerned with defecating on the table then with the fact that there was a head coming out of me!

i didn't realize there was drama in the comments section...until i saw 50 comments on a post that said "nothing new."

obviously, there is a high demand for your tales...and obviously the great majority of us understand that you are a professional who likes her job and cares for her patients, but occassionally encounters that one "do you believe it?" situation. we all have them, no matter what our lives are like. i think sharing them helps to remind yourself (and others!) that they are not alone!

I really miss your wild tales. Please don't let the controversy keep you from posting, a lot of get a great deal out of your blog. And, I for one am even more drawn to L&D as a career path (I am studying for my BSN now). Please come back soon!

I am a nurse and have been one for 14 years now. I do home infusion and not labor and delivery but do sometimes do Mom/baby home visits. I find nothing in this blog offensive. To do what nurses have to do on a daily basis, and especially what we have to see, a good sense of humor is a must! You are doing NOTHING wrong and please don't let some sanctimonious bitch drive you off. I have gone into some of the worst neighborhoods in the inner city and if I did not find humor in those situations I would probably go insane. I just do not get why these ladies cannot just accept the posts for the humor and spirit for which they were intended or just don't read them at all. I would blog about my experiences but I cannot write to save my soul. Talking about a peculiar patient does not make anybody less of a nurse, it makes us human and keeps us sane. I hope you will continue to blog!

My-my the fur has been flying in here lately. Well it was good while it lasted. I'm not a positive thinker so I'm thinking it's over. I did have a question though. Where do women that work in L&D go to have babies? Would you want to have it where you work? Just curious.

What a hoot! I'm a new reader and just read every post from this year in one sitting! I LOVE IT! My husband is going to love this blog. He's a secret blog reader. I'm 29 weeks prego and would love for someone like you to be my L&D nurse... but only if you'd tell me stories in the midst of crazy contractions! Can't wait for you to update!

My friend sent me the link to your blog b/c I'm a nursing student interested in L&D and I sat and read the entire blog in one sitting!! I love it! I totally get your humor! I can't wait for the next post!!

Ok - I just read what "Penny" said about people being stupid and I'm pretty sure she said/wrote "stupider" Is that even a word? I REALLY hope you will ignore her and continue to add your hilarious stories to your blog!

Don't pay attention to the nay sayers. They are bored and need something to complain about. If they weren't complaining on your blog they would be elsewhere complaining about how dirt is brown or the road is bumpy. Please come back and post some of your tales. EVERYONE complains about their job and makes fun of something about it, even if they knew what they were getting into when they took it. Those two women are just bitter and looking for something to complain about.

Ok, I have been trying my hardest to stay out of the drama but I have to comment. I can't believe so many people actually took the time to read Penny's epic post. I checked it out to see what all the fuss was over. I took one look at it and thought "damn...that's really long. I don't want to know that bad."

I delivered my bouncing baby boy on the 10th of March (I am one of those crazies you write about with an obnoxious birth plan that screamed in pain for hours and refused meds) and seriously, you've only posted about twice since little dude was born.

C'mon! I'm up at all hours of the night looking for a good laugh and breastfeeding is easy in front of the laptop! This post drought is disappointing. Even a nutty natural-childbirthin' hippy like me likes to read about bitten labias.

i really can't believe that Penney took the time to post that ridiculous comment, then took the time to come back to the blog that she "hates" only to read the responses to her comment, and comment again.

"This blog is for entertainment. All stories are slanted with the intent to amuse, if you are into that sort of thing. If you are looking for a blog about beautiful birth stories, there are plenty out there, keep moving."

Just a gentle reminder of what this blog's purpose: amusement. As an OB nurse, it is extremely important for me to receive comic relief! I actually had a course in nursing school called "Humor and Health (HAH!)" (and yes, my school is an accredited school -- one which is well-known with high standards). The course was designed for the nursing program because of the simple fact that the insane stress of nursing sends many OUT of the profession. The humor keeps us going. I actually have a "humor book" I keep for particularly stressful times. I should put many of these posts in there!

I know some find this offensive material -- and might have agreed many years ago, before finding out personally what a toll nursing (particularly OB nursing!) can take on a person. All my co-workers would agree, as well!

We as nurses are joking about situations -- but are still providing the best care AND compassion we can to ALL patients.

I can't wait for you to come back. I'm pregnant and on bedrest and at high risk for losing this baby. I don't have much to make me smile these days, and I so look forward to reading what is new on this blog. Come back soon!

What drama! My daughter sent me to this blog because she knew I'd love it. And I do.

I analyze charts in a large regional hospital on a daily basis (I am a coder to those of you to whom that means anything). I have to read everything the doctors and nurses write, all the operative reports, all the anesthesia notes, ALL OF IT. If you think some of the things she says here are bizarre, you ain't seen nothin'! Patients are noncompliant, ignorant (I DID NOT SAY STUPID) and for the most part really don't care about taking charge of their medical care.

Nurses have one of the most stressful jobs in the world. One of the reasons I have never become a nurse is that I don't deal well with doctors' egos. And the patients! Woooo! Nurses have my upmost respect and envy. I am so glad I don't have to confront the situations nurses have to deal with on a daily basis.

Random RN please come back...I too am a L&D nurse and all of my co-workers enjoy your blog and it's veins of truth. I nearly peed my pants I was laughing so hard about "old half ton" and the trip to the office by your co-worker.

I have an INCREDIBLY bright idea! Why don't you set your blog to private and invite us (all your fans) so we can avoid "unwanted" comments from "unwanted" readers just like our dear friend Penney!!! :) How unprofessional is it to slam someone in your very own profession!!! And since when is it OK for nurses to make a diagnosis without laying eyes on a "patient." In terms of professionalism if I was to make a diagnosis of one of my students, then I could lose my job. On a side note we all know people that like to act all supreme to everyone. In fact Penney reminds me of a girl from high school that led her life by causing confrontations and conflict. Needless to say she still leads her life by moving from "group" to "group" of friends and after they "figure her out" she is all alone again. Such a sad way to live. Live, Love, and Laugh often!

I am so sad that you haven't posted. I found your blog while visiting someone elses blog and read it all in one sitting. I have checked back each day waiting for you to post... I sure do hope you are ok.Oh... and if the reason you aren't posting is because of Penny... don't let that douche ruin it for everyone else. Sounds like she is really bored or perhaps needs to get laid. :-)

ok. it's been 3.5 weeks! i LOVE your blog and i check it everyday. thank you for sharing your wonderful stories with all of us "readers". i have always had the utmost respect for nurses. i am truly a fan of your blog and your profession. please don't stop either of them.

I have enjoyed reading your blog so very much, ever since a fellow nestie pointed me to it. Currently, I am overdue w/ my 3rd, and your blog has reminded me of the goofiness I have seen in L&D (in the past) as a patient. I can only imagine the joys you see as nurse.

I have to say that your job is very similar to law enforcement. As a prior law enforcement officer, I have seen and dealt w/ crazy situations, that years later, I still love to recant w/ friends.

If you can't find humor in a stressful job, you collapse. I applaud you for finding (and sharing) the humor in your too often thankless position.

since we can't get any authentic stories from our talented writer friend (who I am still worried about), I thought I'd pass this email related to paternityalong to you all.

"Whos Your Daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have Written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'father's details' or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out #11. It takes 1st prize and #5 is runner up.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... Well, I don't have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave , mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart."

After reading your blog, it makes sense to me why the doctor was slow to check me, and asked me all sorts of mundane questions when I came in (I delivered at a big urban hospital). I think she even rolled her eyes when I had a strong contraction. When she checked me, my water broke, and I was 5cm/70%.

At that point, the nurses were fighting over who got to "have" me, the one winning out had a student nurse with her, who came into the room, promising her a "normal" experience for once.

My OB was called and he also brought in a med student, to sit in on his first L&D experience.

And all the nurses post-delivery were also really nice to me, talked to me like I was an idiot, until I answered a few questions and presented myself as literate. I think I really was the only normal person on the floor.

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