Forget what they’re reading, just make sure they’re doing it

The other day, my daughters and I were at our local library. One perused the Baby Mouse and American Girl selections while the other headed over to the young adult section for the first time. Be still my heart. She’s a rising 6th grader and suddenly felt too old for the children’s section.

It was like some unseen force was pulling her to the set of thick black books sitting all pretty in a row. She pulled out one and handed it to me without a word. Twilight. Crap! She’s 11 and too young! Where did I hear this before?

In the past she’s been a reluctant reader and I didn’t want to discourage her interest, but I read this book so long ago that I couldn’t remember if there was any truly inappropriate material. I agreed to let her check it out with the agreement that I would pre-read it.

Books aren’t like movies. We use our minds to create the scenes in our heads. I can promise you 100 times over that if your child reads a tawdry sex scene in a young adult novel, what they see in their head is nothing like what you, as an adult, see in your head. We go off what we know. We use our imaginations to create the imagery and children just don’t have that much to go on.

So maybe pre-reading Twilight isn’t really necessary. I’ll just need to be ready to discuss that putting yourself in harm’s way for a boy makes no sense should that topic come up.

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I think at that age is when I tried to read “Clan of the Cave Bear.” I can say that the imagination can only create what we already know.

Sara McGinnis

You know, I thought long and hard about this after my Twiight post, and I just can’t get on board with the ‘let them read whatever they want’ bandwagon.

Every reader is different, but when you’ve got a kid who is able to check out, read and understand material well above their grade level you have to censor more than a kid who reads at a typical level.

What I failed to make clear in my post was that not only would I rather my kid learn about human sex before human/vampire copulation, but the relationship those particular characters have (possessive, controlling, an I’ll-die-if-we-aren’t-together attitude) is not a model of what love is like I’m OK with for beginners.

In our case, my 9 year old would have been reading about the Bella, Edward, Jacob lust triangle without an understanding of how regular relationships work, it would have been his first in-depth look at dating.

And let’s not forget that by the AR level standards, my 7 year old also could have been reading Twilight. Sorry Judy, but that doesn’t fly with me.

As for self-censoring, it didn’t happen in my own experience. Somewhere in that fifth/sixth grade range I somehow ended up with a book about a young boy singer (I think there was a vampire element to it too? Gah! Can’t remember.) that was filled with sex and incest. Do we want really want elementary kids reading about essentially being raped by their mothers? I won’t say it scarred me for life, but I certainly didn’t put the book down on my own accord even though I knew it was inappropriate.

**In response to the first comment: I hadn’t known what incest was before I read that book, it had never occurred to me a parent could or would do that to a child. This was a learning experience for me, an instruction on what could be that my imagination would not have come up with on its own.

agnurse

I also like to approve what my stepdaughter reads. She’s 9. Now, it doesn’t matter to me if she prefers comics to traditional novels. However, if she brought home a copy of “50 Shades of Grey” and announced she was going to read it, I would have something to say. (That book is one of an extremely small group of books that is banned in our home. I’m not for censorship, but I do want some control over what my child reads.)

Tara

My dd just finished kindergarten and she’s reading at a first grade level. I would like my child to read beautiful writing or something with content. Reading Junie B. is like reading equivalent of a trashy novel and I wonder if there’s any real benefit to it. So I don’t know if I agree with this. To me, it’s read small but read good material.

kim

The age-appropriateness of a book does matter especially in a child’s developmental years. Certain subject matter should not be addressed at just any age. Maturity plays a factor in what a child is able to understand in a “healthy” manner. Several years ago I began to read American Psycho. The story, to me, was horrifying and perverted such that after reading only X number of pages, I threw the book in the trash! I definitely don’t think anyone under 18 should read that book. So, no, reading any book for the sake of reading, well, I don’t agree with that. I do agree with choosing books for my child based on quality and content.

My 9 year old hates reading and writing, and anything that sounds like homework. He will read the Star Wars characters books (not the novel, but those with a picture and the bio of that character) and the like. And he will ask how to spell things related to minecraft or lego videos to watch on youtube. He got an A in Spelling all this school year. I couldn’t believe it.

mommyto9

Cannot agree that what you read does not matter. In my early teen years, I stumbled upon the Flowers in the Attic series. Based on the title, my mom never noticed. I understood everything and could not wait for a chance to feel the same way as the book described. Not a good plan. I read many things I was not emotionally ready to handle and have had things to deal with that it took me many years realize how it all was related. Scanning 3 – 4 pages in my children’s selected reading has been enough to determine whether the content is age appropriate. I provide them with many alternative options but don’t make a big deal and just say,”This book has some things in it that aren’t going to make it the best reading at this stage. We’re just going to wait a while on it.”

Elfrieda

Yeah… I have to agree with the previous posters on this one. I was reading at a high-school level when I was 8, and just because I could read it did not mean I was emotionally ready for many of those books. I didn’t know what to reject and what to keep, and even if I didn’t know quite what everything I was reading about was, it still made an impact. It was good when it was something that helped me make sense of the world in a way my parents couldn’t, but often it was a warping influence.

I will be pre-reading, or at least skimming ahead. And although I don’t see myself outright banning books, if I feel concerned I’d ask them to wait a year, or discuss it with them chapter by chapter. I still love reading, so that’s not a burden for me.

Nope. Not going to worry about it. I will steer their interests towards things that are well-written (Harry Potter good, Twilight bad) and thought-provoking, but my take on it is that, if they’re reading at a level where they can be made uncomfortable by it, they can choose to stop.

So yeah, kidlet might stumble upon something grossly inappropriate when he’s 12. The way I see it, my job isn’t to prevent him from reading it if he wants to. It’s to make sure he understands that what he reads isn’t necessarily the way things actually work in real life.

Jana

Definitely don’t agree with Judy Bloom. Same as Elfrieda, I was on a high school reading level while I was still in elementary school. I don’t remember all the books I read then, but I do remember that I read books for the amount of AR points I could get from them. The higher level books have upwards of 50 points a pop. I read “Lonesome Dove” when I was in 8th grade, and I was not prepared for all the sex in that book, especially at that age. Read another book that had scenes with two guardsmen talking about sex and how best to keep a woman from getting pregnant. That’s not something that I want my daughter learning from a book. I’ll let her pick out a book, my condition will be that I skim/read it first if I’ve never read it before. If I feel that it’s too old for her, that’s that. End of story. I’ll let you read it when you’re older.

Beth

I agree with Judy for the most part. Kids won’t know where to fill in the PG13 blanks but R and NC17 descriptions are explicit enough that you don’t need to fill in any blanks.

I read Flowers in the Attic the summer before 5th grade. I didn’t grow up thinking incest was normal.

My 2 Cents

My mom always pre-read everything I read, not to censor what I was reading but to discuss it. The thing is this, if their classmates are reading it they are going to hear about it from them. And truly who would you rather be explaining the Twilight love triangle, you or another child? You may be able to prevent your child from reading something but not hearing what their friends have to say about it. And what they have to say about it may be out of context (if their parents don’t discuss books) and what they hear can be even more twisted then it really is. So no book banning here, just pre-reading and discussing it with my son as he reads it.

Momof4

I’m on the fence really. I am a hawk when it comes to movies… but will I be the same with books? I had a bit with my son when he started reading and wanted to read Capt. Underpants.
I personally have been an avid reader since I was 4. I would devour books left and right and went through my entire HS library from A-Z in the fiction section. I learned I don’t like horror or mysteries for the most part.
Then… I stayed at my English teacher’s house when I was 16 over a weekend… in the back of her closet in my guest room was an entire library of romance novels. Amanda Quick became my favorite very quickly and I read 4 of her books that weekend. (Did I mention I devour books… that means I read fast)
I question myself. Do I want my kids to love reading, or to read what I love? I have read and re-read most of the young adult and kids’ books, so I could tell you almost chapter for chapter what happens in each Twilight saga book and the unpublished story from Edwards’s point of view from the author’s website. The relationship here is different. Not entirely without merit though. I think the part that most naysayers have an issue with is her willingness to die for Edward, but that soon translates to her willingness to die for her daughter. Is that so different from us as mothers? You honestly telling me that you would not put yourself in harms way to save your spouse? Maybe as an ex-military my thinking is different. I don’t see it as a sign of weakness for her to love so much that she would value her mate and her children above her own life.
This is one series I wouldn’t mind my children reading, even at their current age of 7 and 8. Why? Because it’s not a graphic romance novel. It’s not graphic. Our kids know that sex is real, it happens and well that’s that.
I would on the other hand really have an issue if they picked up a Stephen King book or any of those Goosebumps series… I would not pre-read that, but I would give them a summary and see if they would really be interested…any nightmares and it’s over though.
Romance Novels? Maybe at 15 or 16?…and I will give them my pics first…maybe…I have read a lot, so unless it’s war related, mystery or horror, I have probably read it and can give a good synopsis to ensure they want to read it.
I may google it to see if I should be worried, but being emotionally ready? I know there are classics out there that challenge that idea such as Lord of the Flies, Where the Red Fern grows and many others that introduce controversial topics. But isn’t that why we are supposed to be open with them? So we can help them think it through and figure out what it means to them?
So I am on the fence. I want them to love to read. But I’m not going to support reading habits that includes nightmares, I will just say I told you so and ship them back to their bed with a book on fluffy bunnies…

To go back to the comment made about Junie B. Jones, and whether or not there is any real value in reading it, I just want to mention that there may be a real purpose for some developing readers to read books with known characters, known settings and well, familiarity. On a personal level, I’d always wish for something of value, of quality, but if a developing reader needs something familiar, to help reduce the cognitive load while become fluent readers, so be it. A few of these books may be what they need to get over a reading hurdle, and develop speed and fluency. The more readers read, the better readers they will be. Lots of kids go through a stage where they jump from one stage to the next, via a series that they get hooked on. I think it is up to us as parents, to continue to read TO THEM, and introduce them to new types of books, complex plots, and rich literature… it will keep them reaching.