Help: I can't work for a rude woman!

I've been offered a promotion but I'm put off by the fact that my new boss would be a woman with a reputation for being arrogant and impossible to work with. Would I be better giving it a miss? TK, press officer, London

Before making a decision, investigate further. Reputations can become much exaggerated; the tales you're hearing may be based on problems experienced by those who bring out the worst in her.

Chances are your potential new boss had something to do with the decision to promote you and so has a high opinion of your abilities. If her ferociousness is reserved for those she regards as fools you may be exempt. Arrange a meeting to discuss the demands of the job and her expectations.

Take the approach that although flattered by the offer, you enjoy your present post and want to evaluate the options. Don't be afraid to delve into why the vacancy has arisen and what happened to the last person. If they're still around check their side of the story. You could suggest a short period of working for her alongside your current job to help decide whether this would be a good move.

If she's naturally rude, such requests are likely to annoy her enough to provide an insight into how she earned her reputation; if she's reasonable you're probably going to work well together. It's never worth going for a job that will undermine rather than enhance your confidence.

Don't take it just because it's there; you're good enough to have been offered this promotion, there will be others. Phrase any refusal in a way that shows you're open to alternative offers but confident enough to resist opportunities that are not quite right.