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YAY! FREE SHIT FOR XMAS!!!!!!

So a good friend of mine, who used to work for WB, had a bunch of WB-controlled swag sitting around in boxes from when he transitioned to (that’s the polite term we use in the industry to mean “fucked off for”) another job. Luckily for you, he already had enough stuff and didn’t want to cart this over to his new office, so he gave it to me to give to you. So that’s what I’m going to do.

First up, some DC items:

A little Jack Kirby for you – his FOURTH WORLD Omnibus, Volumes 1-4. Not a clue in hell what this is, but I feel like some of you are into it. Will also include a couple other random DC titles for you.

Next up, a slew of stuff from Top Cow. Click on the picture for details on the contents. You’ll get all of it. Some of it is sealed, and there are a couple Issue #1 items. Maybe there’s a treasure in here. Probably not, but what the fuck do I know?

Then, we’ve got some Superman stuff. Once again, I’ve never personally seen any of these titles, but you’ll get everything that’s included here. On the cover of one of them is some AlternaSuperman with RED EYES. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

Lastly from my buddy, a lot of 5 (total) Batman figures. Just kind of awesome.

The last thing I have to give away (at least for now) has nothing to do with DC, but it’s definitely the most awesome of all. My friend Kevin Pollak just released his book HOW I SLEPT MY WAY TO THE MIDDLE. It’s terrific. And as a big favor to me, he’s agreed to personally autograph a copy of it FOR YOU, in your name. Read: you can literally touch greatness. It’s very exciting. Here is a picture of the actual copy:

Many thanks to Kevin, who actually owes ME since I let him card-rape me in poker once a week.

Here’s how this will go down: over the next couple weeks, I’ll announce the giveaways on my Twitter. As I’ve done in the past, I’ll either offer you a challenge or a trivia question or something of the like; first person that responds to my satisfaction wins. Then I mail it to you. That’s it. It’s fun. I hope.

So be on the lookout for the announcements, and I’ll do it in enough time that it gets to you well before Xmas, in case you want to gift this crap to someone you love.

This is my first comment. Not in life, but just on your excellent bloggopage (which I’ve happily just discovered).

As a semi-pro amateur screenwriter with a career as debilitating and erratic as the Irish weather (I’m Irish) – I look forward to reading your excellent posts as they spit forth from the belly of the Hollywood beastess (coz Hollywood’s a chick-beast).

Now, re: Comic goodies, you mentioned that you would “do it in enough time that it gets to you well before Xmas”. This is fine and noble of you – but please also take into consideration that it takes two-three weeks for post to get from America to Ireland (I’m Irish). Not being presumptive, but I’m currently researching comics and such, and would like to have a fair shot at receiving your gifted gifts. I’m cash-poor at the moment, so free stuff makes me semi-hard.

As such, and in order to give me a fair crack of the whip (!) I’m afraid I’ll have to insist that you make those ”announcements” within the next 72 hours.

Thanking you in advance, and, as we say here in Ireland (I’m Irish) – “have a great fucking day!”

Fuck! So sorry, Mr. Stubbs – I will not be able to ship internationally. Maybe another time? You must forgive me – I should have mentioned this at the outset; it just escapes my grasp that anyone anywhere near me cares about any of this, much less someone across the world.

Apologies again. But I suppose you’re good with disappointment by now – you’re Irish.

Thanks very dearly for your disappointing reply. I will add this disappointment to my peoples’ vast repertoire of disappointments. To be honest, it’s pretty much been downhill since the famine. U2 briefly rejuvenated our spirits, but then they got involved with that Spiderman thing. It was ridiculous to think that Bono could swing from the rafters whilst bellowing lyrics that rhyme with ‘Green Goblin’.

And thus, like the potato in my tummy, I shall return to the obscurity from whence I came.

Peace through motor-sports,

S Stubbs
(PS: But in all seriousness, allow me to give you some major kudos for this blog. Very entertaining and informative. Cheers!)