My doctor reads my blog

My doctor reads my blog and I screwed it up big time with the
Duragesic post…I’m not getting any fentanyl patches coz “it would be
gross negligence for me to prescribe it to you after all I know”. Which
is fine, seriously. I’m cool with that. Everyone has an ass to cover
and you’re doing just that. It’s cool with me.

Thus, we entered discussions of what a secondary taper plan would be
(dammit I should not have written about fentanyl that day :p) and we
discussed morphine (MS-Contin 30 mg) which he nearly prescribed before
thinking twice and just decided to fall back on Old Faithful (DF-118
not OxyContin, the latter causes a lot of phone calls for verification
and takes about 1 hour to process).

I told him I’m serious about quitting and told him my actual
maintenance dose (which is at least 30 tablets of DF-118 (900 mg of
dihydrocodeine) which is equianalgesic to 270 mg of MS-Contin (about 9
tablets of 30 mg morphine) which didn’t shock him much, being my old
doctor and that (and partly why he dared to put me on Duragesic
fentanyl patches in the first place, I would have OD if I didn’t have
an opiate tolerance).

He gave me one last prescription for DF-118 (120 tablets) staggered
by 10 days (basically a dated repeat Rx script) authorizing 60 tablets
today and 60 tablets 10 days down the road. He basically put me on
DF-118 30 mg x 2 (60 mg) three times a day (240 mg per day). That is
not enough to even stave off my withdrawals so I had to renegade on my
promise and despite this being the last prescription, I think I’m going
to take it (in a non-recreational but non-withdrawal inducing manner
;))and then go on methadone.

You can tell I’m not serious about quitting. ;) Like I said, I’ll
quit when I’m good and ready, hey, I smoked and injected crystal
methamphetamine for several years (abusively and compulsively) and quit
just like that *snaps fingers*. I’ll do that same with opiates…when
I’m good and ready. I’m thinking about Methadone Replacement Therapy
(on the condition that only my opiate problem is being treated and not
my benzodiazepine issue) when I run out of opiates from the Sibu
Connection.

Me: Can I get both the prescription filled, so that
I can have 120 tablets instead of just 60 tablets and come back again
in 10 days just to refill the script coz this place is kinda far from
where I stay?
(after calling my doctor to verify the script, oh boy, he must not be happy to hear I’m getting all 120 at once)Pharmacist: Sure, I’ll make that arrangement for you.Me: Thank you very much, I appreciate that.Pharmacist: So you took time off work today?Me: Nope, I had a client somewhere near here so I just happened to pass by.Pharmacist: You must be pretty hardworking.
(wondering wtf that question meant)Me: Well, I get the job done.Pharmacist: Where do you stay?Me: Tabuan Jaya.
(which is not really where I stay)Pharmacist: Yeah, that’s a bit far.Pharmacist: Anyway, the prescription is ready. 120 tablets of DF-118.Me: Thank you very much, I always get a lot of problems with cashing in the script due to the nature of the medication.Pharmacist: No problem. Glad to be of service.Me: Thanks! You have a nice day, now.

(at the prescription counter)Pharmacist #2: Mr. Poh?Me: That’s me.Pharmacist #2: 120 tablets of DF-118. Wow, do you mind me asking what ailment you’re suffering?Me: I have a bad back and migraines. I’m opiate tolerant so the basic NSAIDs and triptans don’t really work on me.Pharmacist #2: Really? What were you on?Me: Well, I was put on Paralgin Forte (a 30 mg codeine preparation) at a very young age.Pharmacist #2: *nods unconvincingly*
So who is you primary care doctor?Me: (uh oh, I have scripts from literally dozens of
doctors cashed in this fine medical facility) Well, it’s Doctor X (who
died from cancer).Pharmacist #2: Okay. We’re not supposed to give out so much DF-118 at once but we’ll make an exception this time ok?Me: Thanks, I appreciate that…and do you know that
you’re the only place to stock DF-118 in Kuching? (That’s me getting
all chatty and shit) Timberland, they have morphine and fentanyl only.
Kuching Specialist, they only carry morphine and Duragesic.Pharmacist #2: Really? Why don’t you try those instead?
(wtf?!?)Me: Er…I’m 25, who’s going to want to prescribe me morphine and fentanyl? *smiles*Pharmacist #2: Oh, okay yeah I get what you mean. Thank you and have a nice day.Me: You have a nice day too, and take care…and you
know what, can you put down a note there that says I’m opiate tolerant,
not opiate dependant, just in case, God forbid, I get run down by a car
and checks into this fine medical facility, I just want to be on an
equianalgesic dose, ya know.
(at this point most of the pharmacists look at me quizzically – some
were smiling, some were not – but at least the girls were smiling)

Wise guy till the end. ;)

I’m not doing mosaic on the medical facility anymore – they’re the only
ones carrying DF-118 anyway, and referring to the previous comment
about whether it is from Normah, well if it looks like it’s from
Normah, tastes like it’s from Normah and smells like it’s from
Normah…then it probably came from Normah!

You don’t go eating something that looks like shit, tastes like
shit, and smells like shit and go “Mmm…this here is some mighty fine
chocolate pie” do you?

Jesus Christ…

Oh, and in other news, I lost RM 3,500 on football over the weekend…

…and that girl in the Miri fight video (the assailant with the
blue scrunchie) is fucking hot! Can you call me at 013 811 2088 if
you’re reading this? I’ll fly over to Miri for some S&M action if
you’re up for it. ;)

35 thoughts on “My doctor reads my blog”

You don’t go eating something that looks like shit, tastes like shit, and smells like shit and go “Mmm…this here is some mighty fine chocolate pie” do you?
I lurve your witty posts. Good to see them online again. Rach from Kuching. Remember me? Joanna’s friend. ^_^

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