Arctic parka faces tough test of Morrisons car park

2nd November 2017

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A NORTH Face coat designed for the most extreme weather conditions on Earth has resigned itself to being used as a fancy duvet on the high street.

The parka, which boasts DryVent waterproof technology and 550 fill RDS-certified goose-down insulation, will today face the tough dash across Morrison’s car park in drizzle with a hair-raising stop at the cashpoint.

It said: “I could do Alaska. I could handle Greenland. Trekking in Siberia wouldn’t faze me.

“But the hardest thing I’ve had to face so far was a Sheffield bus-stop in fairly heavy rain, and from the mobile conversation I heard that’s the last time that’ll ever happen.

“I don’t suppose I mind being draped over the back of a chair in Café Nero, but it’s hardly testing me to the full extent of my capabilities.

“I feel like Ian McKellen doing Coronation Street, but forever.”

The coat added: “Okay, the car’s all parked. 80 yards to get through in nine degrees celsius and cloud cover before we’re indoors again. I can do this.”