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Wheel of Fortune and Chill? The Scalding Hot Cup of McNasty and The Hindu Goddess of Love…

Okay so I have a confession y’all – I love Wheel of Fortune! Nope, that’s not a cool metaphor lol I’m talking about the actual game show on TV…oh and I’m not even ashamed! Don’t get me wrong, Family Feud is cool too. I’ve also always wanted to play Plinko or win one of those giant oversized checks on The Price is Right. And I’ll occasionally get my nerd on with some Jeopardy but the Wheel? It’s the greatest man lol I’m not even kidding. I’m an OG wheelie (lol is that a thing? Let’s go with that) from back in the day when people weren’t even allowed to keep the money they won. No, instead they had to spend it all on a bunch of random overpriced crap they had on stage. For some reason there used to always be the same stupid porcelain Dalmatian that was like $1800 that someone always got stuck with lol. You know how mad I would have been having to pay taxes for winning that thing? But yeah man, I’ve even solved puzzles just based on the clue with no letters revealed yet! That’s why I was good at Hangman too. Wait, does that game still exist or did they give it some PC name now? Either way, you know the game I’m talking about. It’s just like Wheel of Fortune but on paper so I used to crush that too. By the way, in case you’re wondering (which I’m sure you’re not lol) the hardest puzzle to solve for Hangman is PIZZA. 2 Z’s and a P? Nobody ever guesses that! You’re welcome. Anyway yeah, I used to own the board game, had a spin-id to try and win stuff at home and my text message alert is actually the “new puzzle” chime noise (true story). Lol so why am I talking about this? Especially on a blog in 2017? Because last night The Wheel was on the big screen tv at the gym while I was on the Stepmill and I had to demoralize this group of senior citizens who chose to do battle with me. Yeah that’s right granny – 5 puzzles to zero! BOOM! Uhh Flexin’ on ‘em!!! No mercy for the weak, sweep the leg Johnny! Lol I’m a beast mannnnn. Ha although I did lay the smack down, they had a great time and I was nice about it. Oh, and I must be growing up because for the first time I wasn’t petty laughing at people when they landed on bankrupt after getting greedy and spinning “one more time.” Baby steps eh? (see my personality test results for further insight lol) So yeah, I was just about to throw out an open challenge to anyone reading this but I haven’t been able to watch the show as much in the past few years since I’m usually pretty busy. Lemme DVR a few episodes and get my skills sharp again first but then yeah, I’m coming for all of you lol.

Oh! Another game show that I love …wait, I’m not sure this counts as a true game show since it’s more reality based, but whatever, another guilty pleasure for me to watch is Survivor. I don’t think that I could ever actually go on that show though. For starters, I can’t really swim (way to break that stereotype Darrell lol) and I also get way too hangry when I don’t have food. I’m much too greedy for that lol I’d probably resort to cannibalism before the end of the first episode. Someone would come up to me trying to start an alliance and I’d be reaching for the machete while imagining them on a skewer covered in barbeque sauce. I’d also need to get approved to bring Chapstick because there’s no way that I could survive 30 days without it.

I’m admittedly addicted (taking a tour of the factory is on my bucket list…another sad but true story lol)! But I mean, have you seen my lips? I could cool a bowl of soup from across a room with these things, lol, they take a lot of work. And even if I could somehow get past all of that, once they got to one of those “disgusting food” challenges where they’re eating cockroaches and moose testicles there’s no way that I wouldn’t throw up!

I actually had the privilege of hanging out with my favorite Survivor contestant of all time, Parvati Shallow who was just as sweet and beautiful in person!

Despite my bicep being bigger than hers in the photos (Check out my sweet farmer’s tan! Sexy eh? lol), make no mistake about it, when it comes to Survivor, she is MUCH tougher than I would be! She was a contestant on the show 3 times (she won once and came extremely close to winning the other 2 times) and spent a total of over 3 months in the jungle! She’s actually named after the Hindu goddess of love which makes a lot of sense since she was able to put a love spell on most of the cast (and audience) each season. I’ll definitely have to interview her for this blog to share some stories from the show. She’s one of the best strategists Survivor has ever seen!

Using your looks, charm and flirting to advance in the game makes perfect sense but some of these contestants have had actual romances on the show! …after not being able to shower or properly brush your teeth for close to a month? Lol, seriously? I once got in a fight with an ex for putting a Listerine strip in her mouth before she tried kissing me with her dragon breath first thing in the morning (seriously, my eyebrows almost melted off when she leaned in…) so I doubt you’d ever catch me hooking up if I were on the show! But like I said, you’d probably never catch me on the show to begin with.

I would seriously consider being on the Amazing Race though! I love to travel and I’m great with clues. Of course, they also eat some nasty crap on that show too and they also have to swim sometimes so I don’t like my chances of winning there either. I’m not sure I want to be seen on national television with Dora the Explorer floaties wrapped around my biceps. My sense of direction also kinda sucks so unless my teammate drives, without a GPS I’d probably end up veering off a cliff or something. That would make for one hell of an episode though! I guess you could call it a….wait for it…..cliff hanger! Sorry, I had to. Okay let’s move on shall we? Oh, but if you’ve ever been on one of those shows before, tell us about it in the comments below!

Breaking news! So I recently had my fourth cup of coffee ever…and I actually liked it! I know, this wouldn’t normally be Earth-shattering news for most people, but you have to understand that my hatred of coffee goes back to childhood when I tried a coffee flavored jelly bean and almost gagged since it was that disgusting (seriously, even the black licorice and weird butter flavored popcorn ones were better than that travesty! Hmm, I may have to buy some and power rank them by taste in a future post lol). I was further traumatized a few years later when I dove into some coffee flavored ice cream thinking that it was chocolate and again, it was disgusting. Then in high school, one of my teachers was an extreme close talker who had notoriously bad coffee breath (she also could have used a Listerine strip…) so that was more than enough data to solidify my theory that coffee is just a scalding hot cup of McNasty. So from then on, it was good riddance java. No thanks! You can keep you cup of joe. If I want something hot and black, I’ll download a Rihanna video… and if I want a warm beverage, I’ll stick to safe choices like tea or hot chocolate.

But since everyone else seems to love coffee so much, I’ll occasionally buy some for others to help brighten their day. So after a recent trip to pick up my mail, I decided to buy a round of Starbucks coffee for the crew over at the UPS Store. And since I bought so many cups, my order came with a free one. I was about to go on a long drive and was feeling daring so I decided to give it a shot. I figured that even if it tasted like a cup of dirt, it would still keep me awake as I struggled to get the taste out of my mouth. Anyway, the barista suggested this Chestnut Praline holiday flavor they were doing and boy was she right! It was incredible! So incredible that I actually attempted to buy another cup a week later but now that the holidays are over, the flavor is gone! And they also told me that nothing else on the current menu is like it. I tried another flavor hoping that luck would strike twice and well… it wasn’t gross but it wasn’t anything I’d crave again either. So I won’t exactly call myself a coffee fan just yet but I do have an open mind about trying to find another blend as magical as the Starbucks Chestnut Praline was. Comment with your favorite coffee recommendations for me to try otherwise I may just go back to hot chocolate, tea or Rihanna (I’d like a venti RiRi to go please?!) until next December!

Since we’re already on the subject of coffee, let’s just stay there for today’s fitness tip. Many people have a hard time getting actual food in their system early in the morning but will chug coffee by the gallon. So if you’re the type who has an easier time getting liquids into your system in the morning than food, try adding a scoop of vanilla or unflavored protein powder to your blend. Several companies also make coffee flavored protein powder as well! Whichever route you go in regards to flavor, the added nutrients will most likely make you feel even more energized to power through the day so give it a shot!

How are those New Year Fitness Goals coming along anyway? Tell us in the comments and feel free to hit me up with any questions you might have!

Okay, this debate has been going on forever so why not continue it here?! Who has the best tasting coffee and why? A. Starbucks? B. Dunkin Donuts? C. Someone else (If you close your eyes and listen carefully, you’ll be able to hear the keyboards in New Jersey typing “Wawa”…)? Comment below!

Today’s Soundtrack

Black Coffee – Heavy D & The Boyz

The Game – Motorhead (lol, yes Triple H’s theme if you watch WWE. If I’m ever an actual contestant on Wheel of Fortune hopefully they let me walk out to this song with a bottle of water in my hand…)

Hate it or Love it – The Game ft 50 Cent (which is the amount of money you’d win if you were one of the other 2 contestants on Wheel of Fortune with me!)

Survivor – Destiny’s Child (For the young’uns, this was Beyonce’s old group)

I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor (And for the “not so young’uns” lol but if you’ve been to any prom, wedding or off-key karaoke night you’ve heard this one)