Child Research Net (CRN) is a non-profit, Internet-based child research institute. We have designed CRN's English site to bring together people concerned about children and to offer a forum for innovative interdisciplinary discussion. Our vast network of professionals, researchers and educators around the world will bring you articles, reliable data and the latest research in English, mainly on Japanese children and youth that are not otherwise available.

PICKUP DATA 11 Different discipline then and now More consideration given to "communication with others" now

Communication with others is the first priority (Table 11-1).

Table 11-1
Priorities in Child Rearing Now

(%)

1. Basic greetings and expressing gratitude

90.5

2. Importance of peer relationships

70.5

3. Avoid dangerous behavior

63.1

4. Regular habits such as wake-up time or bedtime

61.0

5. Make sure someone is at home when children come home

58.6

6. Family have meals together

48.5

7. Buy safe food and serve home-made meals

42.0

8. Speak politely to elders and teachers

41.7

9. Share child rearing and housework with father

33.7

10. Try not to give sweets to children such as soft drinks, juice and chocolate

29.3

11. Have children help with housework

27.6

12. Let children play computer games only at certain times

27.6

13. Try not to smoke in front of children (including fathers)

24.2

14. Allow children to watch only selected TV programs

21.6

15. Others

6.8

As shown in the table, mothers give the highest priority to greeting and thanking others property (90.5%), followed by peer relationships (70.5%). They may emphasize communication because of bullying, a problem which seems to have greatly influenced their perceptions.

More mothers of 1st graders try to make sure that someone is at home when their children come home from school compared with parents of the children in the upper grade of pre-school.

As children, parents were told to respect elders (Table 11-2)

Table 11-2
Priorities in Child Rearing When Mothers Were Children

(%)

8. Speak politely to elders and teachers

78.7

7. Buy safe food and serve home-made meals

63.7

15. Others

62.0

2. Importance of peer relationships

57.7

10. Try not to give sweets to children such as soft drinks, juice and chocolate

53.5

14. Allow children to watch only selected TV programs

47.7

9. Share child rearing and housework with father

43.8

3. Avoid dangerous behavior

39.1

13. Try not to smoke in front of children (including fathers)

38.8

12. Do not watch TV during meals

28.3

11. Have children help with housework

24.9

5. Make sure someone is at home when children come home

24.1

1. Basic greetings or expressing gratitude

15.6

6. Family have meals together

12.1

4. Regular habits such as wake-up time or bedtime

6.8

Mothers were asked to compare discipline when they were children with present-day discipline. When mothers were children, they were most often told to speak politely to their elders, teachers and the elderly (78.7%). "Others" accounted for as much as 62.0%, indicating the diversity of discipline in each household.

Comparing the two tables, there is a big generational difference in teaching children basic greetings or expressing gratitude (15.6% vs. 90.5%) and instilling habits such as waking up and going to bed at regular times (6.8% vs. 61.0%). Although parents are concerned about children's habits, lifestyles are changing because parents now tend to stay up late at night themselves.

PICKUP DATA 12 Mothers want their children to be healthy and considerate of others. Expectations of boys and girls based on traditional gender roles (Table 12).

Table 12
What Kind of Person Would You Like Your Child To Be? X Gender of Child

(points)

Male

Female

A considerate and kind person

301.4

341.4

A person who does not trouble others

209.0

199.3

A sincere and responsible person

89.3

61.3

A person with leadership skills

10.3

3.8

A person who contributes to society

21.6

22.2

A person who graduates from a top-ranking university and can get any job

5.4

5.1

A person who is international

14.0

11.8

A person who is an individual rather than group-oriented

18.4

17.5

A person who is physically and mentally fit

333.0

334.2

A person who is focused and assertive

135.0

114.6

A person who values both work and family

72.5

34.0

A person who is sociable and cooperative

59.8

89.5

A person who has a happy family life

53.9

84.7

A person who is proficient in something

28.0

32.0

A person who can lead an economically stable life

45.0

30.1

A person who pursues his/her own dream

103.4

118.6

Calculation method: Five points were given to the first ranked response, down to one point for the fifth ranked response. The figures then multiplied by the percentages converted into points and ranked from first to fifth.

Health and good relationships
Mothers were asked, "What kind of person do you want your child to be?" They selected the five responses and ranked them in order of importance (See table for the calculation method). An overwhelming number of mothers want their children to be physically and mentally fit, considerate and kind, and someone who does not trouble others.

On the other hand, parents least interested in their children becoming a person who graduates from a top-ranking university and can get any job, followed by a person with leadership skills. Mothers think that getting along with others is more important than leadership.

Expectations of boys and girls based on traditional gender roles
In same areas, there was a big difference of more than 20 points between boys and girls. For instance, more mothers of boys want their children to be sincere and responsible (89.3 points for boys vs. 61.3 points for girls) and to value both work and family (72.5 for boys vs. 34.0 for girls). On the other hand, more mothers of girls want their children to be considerate and kind (341.4 for girls vs. 301.4 for boys); sociable and cooperative (89.5 for girls vs. 59.8 for boys); and to have a happy family life (84.7 for girls vs. 53.9 for boys).

Mothers seem to have traditional expectations and think that men should work outside and achieve success while women should stay home and maintain a good relationship with others.

75% of wives talk with their husbands fairly often or very often (Table 13-1).

Table13-1

(%)

Do You Talk With Your Husband?

Very often

24.8

Fairly often

50.8

Not so often

20.7

Not at all

3.7

How I feel when I talk with my husband

Appreciate his useful opinions

43.8

Happy that my husband listens to me

41.7

Feel others are more sympathetic

10.6

Others

3.9

Reason for lack of communication

No time to talk

52.2

Subject is not interesting to him

39.4

Others

8.4

The table shows how frequently wives talk with their husbands. 75.6% of them talk with their husband fairly often or very often. On the other hand, 24.4% of them do not talk with their husbands very often or at all. Half of them cited lack of time. Husbands are busy with work and wives are occupied with raising children; they are not able to take time to talk to each other.

Husbands and wives talk to each other more often after their children enter primary school (Table 13-2).

Table13-2
Husband-wife Communication X Grade of Child

(%)

Very often

Often

Not so often

Not at all

Pre-school

Lower grade

24.9

51.7

21.4

2.0

Middle grade

23.9

50.7

21.7

3.7

Upper grade

25.1

48.6

22.3

4.0

Primary School

1st grade

25.4

52.1

18.4

4.1

2nd grade

23.3

49.2

21.9

5.6

The table compares the frequency of communication by the grade of the child. While there is no big difference by grade, 73.7% of mothers of children in the upper grade of pre-school talk to their husbands fairly often or very often, and the figure goes up slightly to 77.5% for parents of first graders.

When asked how they felt about the communication mothers of first graders also accounted for the highest percentage of those who find their husband's opinions useful and appreciate them. After their children enter primary school, mothers communicate with teachers less frequently than when their children were in pre-school. In addition, at this time husbands and wives have to make joint decisions more often so husbands give advice as needed.