December 16, 2003

Teenagers Want More Advice From Parents on Sex, Study Says

By KATE ZERNIKE

Adults are far more likely than their children to think that it is embarrassing for teenagers to admit to being virgins, and in fact teenagers wish their parents were a bit bolder in advising them about whether to have sex, according to a national study being released today.

The study, by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, a nonprofit group in Washington, shows teenagers and adults diverging on the topic of teenage sex: how many teenagers are having it, the importance of having it, and the influences for or against having it.

In general, the report concludes, ''Teens express more cautious attitudes and values toward sex than is perhaps generally believed.''

Forty-eight percent of adults said it was embarrassing for teenagers to admit being virgins, but just 26 percent of teenagers believed the same.

Eighty-five percent of teenagers said sex should occur only in a long-term committed relationship, up from 82 percent surveyed last year. Three in 10 teenagers say they have become more opposed over the last few years to having sex.

Sarah Brown, the director of the campaign, said: ''The parents are in a 15-20-years-ago thing of having sex was the way to be cool. They didn't come of age in the full-blown understanding of AIDS and with quite as much attention to teen pregnancy and how it derails young lives.''

Teenagers and parents alike overestimate how many teenagers are having sex, according to the survey.

Parents are the biggest influence on teenagers' decisions about whether to have sex, according to the survey, but they do not realize it. Among teenagers, 45 percent said their parents were the biggest influence and 31 percent said their friends were. Parents see this in something of a mirror: 32 percent said parents were the biggest influence, 48 percent said teenagers' friends are.

''Adults continue to underestimate their influence,'' Ms. Brown said. ''They may be so concerned about being friends or pseudo-peers that they forget that the primary job of parents is to be parental.''