Bimbo, flirts, sluts in skirts - muscles brightly glistenConversation's full of filth - let's all have a listenOh dear oh dear we live in fearMedia bulbs a poppin'If you're bent, they're on your scentThere can be no stoppin'

Peroxide blondes, vagabonds, into 'eavy metalYour hair looks like it's been done by a dyke with a score to settleMud needs raking, photos taken of your murky pastHaunts you, taunts you, love it don't you

Hey hey the gang's all herePimps 'n' pervs, straights 'n' queersEnquiring minds want to sneer at the skeletons in your closetSunday morning in the park,Down the pub or in the bathWe'll all have a good old laughAt the skeletons in your closet

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It's bloody marvellous - innit? It's bloody marvellous - innit?

Juicy bits, saucy snips, there's gold in them there guttersBlue rinse mob on the job, curtains all a-flutterIt's cheapo culture, bleeding ulcers, burnt out by the scoreLurid tales never fails to shock you to the coreKinky boots 'n' rubbber suits,It's all going on next door!Caught you, taught you, love it don't you

If you've had your face re-doneIf you spank your girlfriend's bumWe can all join in the funAt the skeletons in your closetWhat's the world coming to? Ain't we got nothin' better to do? To spend all day sifting throughThe skeletons in your closet

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