Reunions often descend into a contest of who is the worst of the bunch. And this one was no exception. When the level of vitriol reaches the extreme harpy stage – it’s time to recast. We’re waiting, Andy Cohen…

Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County no one redeemed themselves or came across as a grown woman. Does it ever happen that way? Gretchen Rossi and Tamra Barney are took their Over-The-Hill Barbie act on the road and switched hair for the day. I think Tamra got her wig from the Dolly Parton synthetic collection on QVC. They also wore the same color dress. Was it an act of solidarity?

Whomever did Tamra‘s make up should be fired, because she looked 55 trying to look 45. Not cute.

Also, what was up with Heather Dubrow‘s eyebrows? Girl, the botox needs to stop and don’t try to play it off as a tweezer malfunction. We know you had unsupervised alone time with Terry’s botox collection after a couple glasses of wine. Besides, don’t rich girls wax, not tweeze?

I also have to comment on Heather‘s country music star circa 1994 hair. This is a good lesson – do not let Gretchen style your hair, ladies! Or choose your dress.

Well, Slade is again protesting against reports that he is a jobless deadbeat dad! Speaking to WetPaint, Slave says the allegations hurt his feelings and simply aren’t true.

“I was in real estate,” Slade says of his career pre-Housewives, “I was technically a consultant.” But NOW, oh but NOW, he runs Grayson Entertainment, a company which puts together endorsement deals for celebrities. Doesn’t he mean puts together endorsement deals for ONE pseudo-celebrity who goes by the stage name of Gretchen Christine?

“I look at the iconic women who’ve had trials and tribulations in their lives, and “I don’t pretend to be an ordinary housewife” from Elizabeth Taylor comes to mind. I’ll address my fans soon enough and appreciate all your positive thoughts and comments. Love~Vicki”

Awwww…don’t drag my Liz Taylor into this mess. First, Jill Zarin nabs her jewels, then Lindsay Lohanruins plays her in a movie role, and now this. She doesn’t deserve it!

Well… that was shocking wasn’t it? This Friday evening “20/20″ bestowed upon Brooks Ayers the honor of giving him his own segment on the popular news show. Even Slave Smiley hasn’t been that lucky!

Yep, in front of the whole nation, on a nationally syndicated immensely popular news show, Brooks was outed as a deadbeat dad by his ex-girlfriend NicoletteCatanzarite. How’d you like them apples? Or oranges, if you will. I say Karma is a bitch, and I love her for it!

I’m sure Bravo is beside themselves with glee over the news that Real Houewives of Orange County‘s stellar reputation has been besmirched by the allegations – and I am most positiveVicki Gunvalson‘s obsessive love for con-man Brooks will suddenly wilt. In fact I anticipate that very soon she’ll be issuing a statement about how they’ve grown apart, but she wishes him nothing but love.

And whaddya wanna bet Vicki‘s friendship with Tamra Barney will be rekindled, with a statement about how Tamra was good friend, just looking out for her.

Oh, Vicki Gunvalson… we all know the truth. After you were forced to return your rent-a-mink (for which your deposit was surely lost following the pit-stains and odor of BO) you are now denouncing fur! Suuuurrrrre… a likely story.

“The world has changed and I must change as well. Fur, while it was never something I needed or specifically wanted, it was in my mindset as something glamorous and a sign of success for a woman,” Vicki mused in her Bravo blog.

Of course, now that the Real Housewives of Orange County star realized the fur she loved was only her’s for an evening, she is claiming that she covets fur no more! And she’s giving PETA all the credit for her epiphany! “That is absolutely no longer the case. When PETA sent me video footage of investigations on fur farms, I was horrified by the cruelty involved,” she claims.

Deep in the middle of Real Housewives of Orange County, it was a beautiful clear night overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It could have been the setting from a movie, but instead it was real-ish life. And from Heather Dubrow‘s palatial lawn stars dotted the sky of what should have been a perfect evening. Sadly, an evil eye had befallen the enchanted party and instead of an evening of friendship, love and celebration – it was one recriminations, accusations, and petty slights.

‘Perhaps the drinks flowed too abundantly?’ Heather thought to herself. ‘Perhaps I was too liberal with the invitations?’ she pondered. But then she remembered, she had sold her soul; let it all slip away and now Bravo owned her – they owned her home, her celebrations, and even her name. Well, at least for next couple years. Oh, well might as well make the best of it. Champs for all!

Last week there were issues over a bow. Some loose ends were left untied and Sarah Winterchester, the faux-heiress (who left her holler for the wilds of Orange County), was being shown the door at this exclusive party. Sarah began to realize the Xanax in her purse was a bad idea (OK, I made that part up). Also a bad idea – letting herself be talked into attending a party where she was out of her element, nervous as hell, and wearing the dress she bought at the adult superstore on Sunset. All in all, mistakes were made and she would suffer for them. One can escape the trailer park, but never really escape the trailer park. Just ask Tamra!

In her Bravo blog, Vicki compares Tamra to Jeana Keough, writing, “I…believe Tamra should not have chosenHeather [Dubrow]’s party to replay her drama with the wine episode with Jeana. Remember why Tamra was mad at Jeana last year? To refresh your memory, it was because Jeana was getting involved in Tamra and Simon’s marriage and “butting in.” Hmmm. . .isn’t that what she has been doing with Brooks and I?”