We need to talk.

Hey Ellen,

It’s your bank account here. It’s been a while since we saw each other. I know you’re avoiding me , and I know it’s because you can’t bear to look at me. But I miss you. I miss the good old days, back when you didn’t have to pay rent and bills. Remember, Ellen? We’d spend rainy afternoons together on the sofa transferring funds into your savings. Oh, those were the days.

We can go back to those times . I have a plan.

All you have to do is join Split The Bills this May. If you do, they’ll give you 3 months FREE broadband. 3 months, Ellen! Think of how much more money we’ll have. Up to £189 more to be exact. If you do this for me, I know you’ll be able to look at me again.