In the Pursuit of Writinghttps://juliherman.wordpress.com
among other things...Tue, 19 Sep 2017 01:56:31 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://secure.gravatar.com/blavatar/cf74853d5443a9d3aa453b20e7cd79ea?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fs2.wp.com%2Fi%2Fbuttonw-com.pngIn the Pursuit of Writinghttps://juliherman.wordpress.com
Ramadan Marathon : Ramadan & the Quran (5/3)https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2017/05/04/ramadan-marathon-ramadan-the-quran-53/
https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2017/05/04/ramadan-marathon-ramadan-the-quran-53/#commentsThu, 04 May 2017 20:35:02 +0000http://juliherman.wordpress.com/?p=3862]]>In Ramadan, we usually focus on reading and making as many khatmah as possible, yet the Quran was sent down as a book of guidance. It was sent down as a whole before the piece-meal revelation in the sacred month of Ramadan, so the Quran, as a book of guidance is even more significant in Ramadan.The Prophet saw would revise the Quran with Jibril every Ramadan, but the last Ramadan of his life (saw), he revised the Quran twice with Jibril. The Arabic word used in this hadith is yudarrisu which means not just reading or reciting, but studying, and that implies focusing on understanding. Thus, we shouldn’t just focus on reading and reciting but also on understanding and extracting the guidance that this book was sent for.In this ayah, Allah tells us to reflect on the verses. The word yaddabbaru originated from the word dubur. It means going through something all the way to the end of it, thus leaving nothing unturned. It’s basically a comprehensive approach to going through something. كِتَابٌ أَنزَلْنَاهُ إِلَيْكَ مُبَارَكٌ لِّيَدَّبَّرُوا آيَاتِهِ وَلِيَتَذَكَّرَ أُولُو الْأَلْبَابِ

[This is] a blessed Book which We have revealed to you, [O Muhammad], that they might reflect upon its verses and that those of understanding would be reminded. [38:29] Sahih International

There are other words that Allah uses in the Quran that is usually translated in English as reflect/ponder/think. One of them is tafakkur. It means reflecting in bits and pieces, not in a comprehensive manner as the word tadabbur implies. For example, one may reflect on the miracle of the Quran, or on the stories, or on the linguistic aspect of the Quran. Tadabbur however, is comprehensive reflection.

In Ramadan, we should do both. Quran is special in Ramadan, and we spend time with it more for :

barakah

reflection

understanding

reminder

Most people engage with it for barakah by listening to it, playing it, reciting it, etc. Yet, we need to engage with it for the other 3 reasons too.

The objective of the Quran is GUIDANCE. So how do we engage with it in such a way this Ramadan so that we reach this objective?

Quran Journal

Designate a Quran journal just for this purpose this Ramadan.

Guidance

Every day, after spending time with the Quran, jot down your reflections on what you have just read. It is an exercise of capturing those ‘moments of guidance’ as you engage with this book. These jottings will be about something you didn’t know before.

Reminder

Maybe there are things you already know, but had forgotten that you encounter in your interaction with the Quran in your daily readings. Jot this down too. They will serve as much needed reminders.

Healing

The Quran is a cure. We may have harbored ill feelings, anxiety, worries etc. When you come across ‘healing moments’ in your daily readings, pen it down. Capture it so it can affect you in a way that requires you to be an active patient on the journey towards healing.

Living Miracle

Some people derive utter pleasure in focusing on the intellectual aspects of the Quran, which you can say are miracles of the Quran in a way. This is somewhat a more academic approach in reflecting on the Quran. For example, it may be on the linguistic aspect of the Quran, if you know Arabic, or it can be more of a philosophical aspect that you may relate to life in general. Capture that reflection.

Life For the Soul

Allah called the Quran Rooh. Ibn Qayyim had said,

“Just like the soul is life for the body, the Quran is life for your soul.”

In order to function properly as a human being, we need to strengthen both body and soul. We were created from two components.

earthly component (dirt)

heavenly component (soul)

In order to nurture the earthly component, we feed it with food and water that we practically get from the earth itself.

Ibn Masood narrated the hadith:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), and he is the truthful, the believed, narrated to us, “Verily the creation of each one of you is brought together in his mother’s womb for forty days in the form of a nutfah (a drop), then he becomes an alaqah (clot of blood) for a like period, then a mudghah (morsel of flesh) for a like period, then there is sent to him the angel who blows his soul into him and who is commanded with four matters: to write down his rizq (sustenance), his life span, his actions, and whether he will be happy or unhappy (i.e., whether or not he will enter Paradise). By the One, other than Whom there is no deity, verily one of you performs the actions of the people of Paradise until there is but an arms length between him and it, and that which has been written overtakes him, and so he acts with the actions of the people of the Hellfire and thus enters it; and verily one of you performs the actions of the people of the Hellfire, until there is but an arms length between him and it, and that which has been written overtakes him and so he acts with the actions of the people of Paradise and thus he enters it.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

The fact that it was mentioned in the hadith, ‘then there is sent to him the angel who blows his soul into him,’ shows that the heavenly component in our creation came from above. So in order to nurture this heavenly component, we need to feed heavenly material; the Quran.

The closer we are to the Quran, the more our bodies are at ease because we are not stressed out, and the opposite is also true. The further away we are from the Quran, the more strained and weak our bodies are because of the stresses.

How Do We Get These?

In order to get to know someone more, we usually begin with knowing basic things such as that person’s family, what kind of person s/he is, etc. It’s important to have at least a general understanding about the Quran itself in order to discover its treasures. Thus we need to understand its format, language, and style of the Quran.

Format of the Quran

1. Ayah

In most masaahif (mushafs) the number of the ayah is written at the end of the ayah. Ayaat are determined by the Prophet saw, obviously from Allah. The Prophet saw would tell the scribes to place an ayah or ayaat that was/were just revealed between ‘this’ ayah and ‘that’ ayah. The majority of ayaat were revealed in completion, while there are some that were revealed in bits and pieces. Some ayah will encompass a whole/full meaning, whereas others are part of a bigger context. Generally, in short surahs, the entire surah is probably the bigger context, so each ayah might not carry a full meaning by itself. We have to look at the whole surah to understand each ayah. In long surahs, an ayah might carry the full meaning, but if you can’t understand it by itself, you will have to zoom out and look for the bigger context it’s a part of.

2. Surah

Surahs vary in length. The Quran is not meant to be a story, as it is primarily a book of guidance. If we see disparate seemingly disconnected passages in the Quran, this is the reason. As it is a book of guidance, the focus is not on the story. Rather, it focuses on giving the reader moments of guidance which may come in a story then followed by explanation or then by commands. The beginning and end of a surah are determined by Allah and not the scholars or the Sahabah.

3. Names of Surah

Some of the surah names come from the Prophet saw, and some came about as a result of common knowledge of the sahabah as they name a surah by its first word or the like. Unless the Prophet saw specified a name of a surah, it most probably came from the sahabah. An indication that a surah name came from the Prophet saw is when the Prophet saw instructed his scribes to place this ayah between this surah and that surah.

Surah Al Baqarah was named such, but the instance in which the cow was mentioned was not even a substantial part of the whole surah which spans two and half juz. Why was it named The Cow then? There must be a significance to the story, which is for us to look for and reflect on.

4. Order of the Quran

There are two opinions on this matter.

ijtihaad of the sahaabah

it came from the Prophet saw (the proof being that he (saw) revised it twice in his last Ramadan. The assumption here then is that it must have been revised in the same order).

5. Juz and manzil

This came from the ijtihaad of the scholars of Quran some time in history. The purpose of the division of the Quran as we see it today is for ease in memorization and keeping track. Juz is a division of the Quran into 30 parts. Each juz is roughly 20 pages in the standard mushaf. Each juz is divided into 8 quarters which are called a hizb. Manzil is a division of the Quran into 7 equal parts. As this is not a divine division, either is fine. The division is not done based on meaning, but purely mathematical, as a hizb doesn’t necessarily even stop at a logical position meaning-wise.

Language of the Quran

In surah Yusuf, Allah says,

إِنَّا أَنزَلْنَاهُ قُرْآنًا عَرَبِيًّا لَّعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ

Indeed, We have sent it down as an Arabic Qur’an that you might understand. [12:2] Sahih International

The Quran was addressed to the original Arabs at that time where Arabic was in its golden age.

Why Arabic?

Arabic is an ancient language that goes all the way back to Ismail a.s. and some say it’s even before that. It was said that that Arabic is a combination of Aramaic which Ismail a.s. knew from his ascendants from Iraaq and Shaam area, and the Yemeni which became his new community in Makkah.

How we can tell if a language is ancient is from its script, which generally resembles drawing. Ancient people used to write by carving in stone. If you hold a pick in your left hand and a hammer in your right hand, it’s easier to move from right to left or top to bottom (as in Chinese writing).

The Arabs back were illiterate, so as a result, they mastered the spoken language. Their grasp of the language was heavily dependent on memory since they couldn’t write it down or read it. In order to commit it to memory, they resorted to poetry because rhyming makes it easier to memorize. They thus became masters of poetry.

In poetry, things are mainly summarized, where an abstract idea/word conveys depth and breadth of meaning. The Quran surpassed this, and astounded the Arabs who were masters of Arabic poetry.

In Arabic, there is a huge correlation between the pronunciation of a word and its meaning. Sometimes, the Arabs would choose a name of an object based on the sound it makes.

In short, Arabic is a very logical and structured language. It’s one of Semitic languages that have tri-letter word root. This tri letter word can sprout into many other words, and this is the science of morphology or SARF.

The Quran surpassed every single level of poetry the Arabs had mastered. They weren’t used to it, and it was something new to them. They were blown away just like the magicians were when Musa a.s. flung his staff at the show-down. The magicians, masters of the art of magic at that time, knew for sure that the miracle Musa a.s. carried, wasn’t magic. Likewise, the Arabs at the time of the Prophet saw, masters of Arabic, knew that Quran was not poetry. It was something much more amazing.

The Quran defied the rules of their poetry. As for grammar, the Quran is the main reference of Arabic grammar, even today.

Style of the Quran

Stories

Stories in the Quran have no beginning and no end, because the Quran is open guidance for everyone. What is meant for us do with stories in the Quran, is to extract lessons. Some stories are repeated so many times, for example, the story of Musa a.s. but each time, the angle or focus may be different, so we can take the appropriate lesson from each retelling. Stories of Musa a.s. may show his conversation with his brother, others may show his conversation with Bani Israel, and such.

Parables

As human beings, we relate to something we are familiar with and so Allah gives us parables in the Quran to make us understand it better or in a different light. Allah gives us parables using animal, people, plants, non living things.

Question and Answer

In the Quran, we can see questions that the sahabah asked the Prophet saw. These give us historical context on how the sahabah learned the religion from the Prophet saw.

Oaths

Allah swears by certain things and we can find this in the Quran.

Repetition and Mathani

Allah repeats certain things in the Quran, and we should note the comparisons in them and extract reflections for ourselves.

The Quran, a Book of Guidance

Scholars typically divide the types of guidance encompassed by the Quran into these categories.

2. Book of manners and values

Some scholars would place this category under Aqeedah/fiqh as they believe that manners and values are a substantial part of iman (faith) and worship, so they wouldn’t put this as a separate category of guidance.

My Ramadan Program

1. What is khatmah?

It is highly recommended to complete reading the entire Quran as frequently as possible, yet the essence of khatmah is understanding. So we should reach for this this Ramadan. Some scholars do ‘silent khatmah’ where they would read the Quran in their head, silently just like we would normally read a book. Obviously this would be for someone who understands Arabic. This can be done 1 ayah at a time or 1 page at a time.

If you don’t understand Arabic, you can do a silent English khatmah or whatever language you are better versed in. The whole purpose of a khatmah is to reflect, understand and apply.

These are my meager notes from Sh Yaser’s Ramadan Marathon series May 3, 2017. Please let me know if there are any corrections or additions to be done. May it be of benefit to help us prepare for the upcoming Ramadan.

For those who want to acquire Quran vocabulary in preparation for increased understanding of the Quran in Ramadan, here are some links to 80% vocabulary of the Quran.

]]>https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2017/05/04/ramadan-marathon-ramadan-the-quran-53/feed/1NadiaSouth Padre Island, Yes, In Texas: Hiking Laguna Madre Trail, Sea Turtles, and Seafoodhttps://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/05/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-hiking-laguna-madre-trail-sea-turtles-and-seafood/
https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/05/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-hiking-laguna-madre-trail-sea-turtles-and-seafood/#respondMon, 05 Dec 2016 05:08:24 +0000http://juliherman.wordpress.com/?p=3660]]>On the last day on South Padre Island, we decided to hike the Laguna Madre Trail and visit the Sea Turtle Center. Finding the Laguna Madre Trail turned out to be a bit hard. We initially parked at the Birding Center and walked that trail, but it was the wrong one.

H said he saw a trail one block up ahead so we went and had to turn into the Convention Center. Even then, we didn’t know where to park or how to get to the trail, but H said he saw someone walking so we drove to the other side of the Convention Center and saw the Aquarium building. The Laguna Madre Trail was right by the Aquarium.

The trail was basically a wooden bridge over swampy area that led out to the bay.

On our first stop, we saw an egret perched on the rail of the bridge.The kids had gone on ahead of me as I took in the sights around me on my phone.

When I reached them, all four kids were standing quietly to one side of the trail while a man with a camera took photos of the egret. They didn’t move for fear of scaring the egret away. When I reached them, I too joined on tiptoe and silence. The egret remained still too, looking out at the bay.

We took selfies as quietly as we could with the egret in the background. I actually accidentally caught the egret as it was taking off; perfect shot! It had started to slowly shuffle away from us step by step, which was quite comical, before taking off.

The trail itself wasn’t long, but it was a nice quiet relaxing easy hike. Another part of the trail we went to had a sign that said it has alligators in it, and we were not to feed it. I remember as I was researching this trail online, that some people had seen alligators there.

The hike was a short, easy, yet enjoyable one, as the view of the bay was eye-soothing. We saw people fishing in the bay, standing calf deep in the water with their fishing lines in the water.

We saw water fowls in the water, and hermit crabs actually walking in the bottom of the bay. The water was crystal clear, so we could actually see the crab from the bridge we were on!

See the sand?

Water fowl tracks

There were bird tracks too on the swamp ground and hubby and I saw a turtle quietly poking its head above water before going back in again.

On our way back before checking out of the hotel, we stopped by the Sea Turtle Center. It’s a non profit organization for Sea Turtle Rehabilitation, and there was no entry fee but donation amount was encouraged. They had a presentation about sea turtles which Z eagerly sat through, at the very front too!

It’s really interesting how sea turtles lay so many eggs, but only a handful of those baby turtles make it out alive as they waddle back to sea. The center rescues injured sea turtles who are washed ashore, takes care of their injuries and keeps them at the rehab before assessing if they could be released to sea again. It was an informative visit for all of us.

After checking out, I asked hubby if we could go to that rocky area we had cruised by on the dolphin cruise. It was Isla Blanca Park. You had to pay $10 to drive in, so we saw some parking spots outside and walked in, free. But we soon realized that it was quite a walk, and Z was whining and repeatedly asking,

“Where are we going?”

So Hubby decided that he would just pay the $10 and bring the van in.

As soon as Z realized that there was a beach up front, he started running. That’s a beach addict for you!

We had our lunch at the one of the covered picnic areas. Eating hot rice and my precooked meals with the ocean breeze and seagulls was nice. We also prayed Zuhr and Asr on the beach before we left.

Hubby had somehow come across Gulf Seafood Market as something recommended by someone he was talking to, so we looked for it and bought some seafood for the drive home. I personally prefer Malaysian-style cooked seafood. My taste buds are purely Malaysian. Not that their seafood was not good. The service was top notch! It was good, but I just missed Malaysian seafood I guess.

We had ordered grilled shrimp and fish for Z because of his allergies, and had even told them to make sure there were no butter or flour, but Z still reacted to the shrimps. He looked crestfallen and me heart sank as well. I think it must have been the shrimps touching the fish. So, I told him to stop, and immediately gave him the medicine. After a few hours he asked for the shrimp again and I gave it to him and his tongue still itched. Since I couldn’t give him the medicine again, I told him to just let me know when the itching has stopped. Usually it takes about 20 minutes. Alhamdulilah he was fine.

It’s situations like these that take away my desire for baking or cooking at home. Sure, I can cook allergy free version, but I ever wanted to make something that he can’t eat, I’d have to make the alternate version too. So I just stopped doing anything altogether.

The sight of his crestfallen face is ingrained in my heart, leaving an indelible mark in it. It’s the reason I have begun to dislike potlucks and even being invited somewhere for a meal has become a chore for me, just because it means I have to plan to bring his meal, and if everyone else was going to eat something fancy, that means I have to cook something somewhat similar for him so he doesn’t feel left out. When being invited somewhere might mean no cooking that day for others, it just means more work for me. When potluck may mean less cooking for others, it just means I have to cook extra and make sure his portion is not cross contaminated during the potluck.

Alhamdulillah, the rest of the trip back home went well, except for a stop at the checkpoint. We arrived home safe and sound. As with any trip we make, nostalgia would always consume me as soon as we leave a place. My father loves traveling and would always take us places when we were growing up. I realize now that I probably inherited his love of traveling too. Even if that means a lot of planning because of Z’s allergies.

May Allah cure him completely and protect him from it. Ameen. Which reminds me of another reason I love traveling; high priority dua. Allahu Akbar!

Till we meet again South Padre !

]]>https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/05/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-hiking-laguna-madre-trail-sea-turtles-and-seafood/feed/0img_20161126_0955345541NadiaIMG_2683.JPGIMG_20161126_091355762.jpgIMG_20161126_093215930.jpgIMG_20161126_094514635.jpgIMG_20161126_093502425.jpgimg_20161126_0936175061img_20161126_093700370IMG_20161126_093900135(1).jpgimg_20161126_0939429491IMG_20161126_095534554(1).jpgimg_20161126_094426919IMG_2670.JPGIMG_2648.JPGimg_20161126_095522149img_20161126_0955120981IMG_20161126_101710181.jpgimg_20161126_103338532img_20161126_1032310391IMG_20161126_114633369.jpgIMG_20161126_115015675.jpgIMG_20161126_120339243(1).jpgimg_20161126_1303180161IMG_20161126_130614634.jpgIMG_0599.JPGSouth Padre Island, Yes, In Texas: Beach Sunrisehttps://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/05/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-beach-sunrise/
https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/05/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-beach-sunrise/#respondMon, 05 Dec 2016 04:50:52 +0000http://juliherman.wordpress.com/?p=3454]]>One of the constancies in our lives is change. In the constancy of the movement of the sun each day, there is change; changing of the night and day, which is always mentioned in the Quran, for good reason. The sun rises and sets every day, yet we have come to take it for granted. I recalled a few years ago, a breathtaking sunset on the coast of San Diego, where we actually witnessed the disc of the sun slowly descending towards the horizon. As it sank, the color of the sky changed. Shades of pink, orange, yellow, purple traded places with each other, finally giving way to deeper reddish and orangeish hues.

I wanted to see the sunset like this again, at the beach. I sent my son to ask people where would be the best place to see the sunset and sunrise. He came back saying that the sunset side of the island was on the bay and there was really no accessible beach on the bay. The only beach access was on the gulf side. We headed for the beach anyway, giddy with excitement and anticipation.

At this time of the year, the beach was not crowded at all. Furthermore, that evening was Thanksgiving evening. There were even less people. We did what people usually do at beaches. The kids played in the water, they played a bit with the volleyball, and hubs tossed the frisbee with them. The older kids buried Z in the sand, creating Z man who was trapped under a mound of sand that he was supposed to break out of.

We found this sand sculpture at the beach

I mostly took in the sights, sounds in my own way, quietly, and with the camera. I did get wet too, because I couldn’t help it. The sun set behind the condominiums on the beach, so we couldn’t really witness a beach sunset, but I had a wish. I wanted us to pray maghrib there, on the beach.

And that we did. To be honest, it was easier done in my head than in actual life. In my mental image, laying down the prayer rug was a cinch. But in real life, there was the ocean breeze, lifting the corner of the rug from underneath and undulating it just like it does the water day in day out. Hubs asked,

“Are you sure you want to do this here? Not too noisy? The waves and all?”

I laughed. Noisy? Waves noisy? Waves are not noisy. They’re natural sounds. To me at that time at least. I’d rather pray with the sound of the waves in the background than pray with the sound of airplanes and cars in the background. So, noisy? Nahhh…those waves semi-crashing on the gentle slopes of the beach, they’re halal music to my ears. We pray on the beach, dear husband. So we did, because he didn’t really have a choice since I had prepared the prayer rugs and everything.

I have to admit that he was a tad right though. H, who led the prayer, had to raise his voice while reciting, to be heard over the waves. However, it’s not everyday you get to pray at the beach. We have prayed on the white gypsum at White Sands in New Mexico. There, it was truly quiet. Here, at the beach, there were the waves. The way I see it though, the waves are now witness to our worship of the Creator who created them, who created the sand, every single grain of it, and who created us, so that we could worship Him. I want as many witness from non humans as I can get to witness my worship of Him, as long as I am alive. It’s cool, and yes, it’s also self serving. Well, why not.

As much as I wanted to pray on the beach for fajr, I wasn’t willing to wake up early enough to get the whole family to the beach, especially with Z. So, that night, we planned to watch the sunrise the next morning, but we would head for the beach right after we prayed fajr in the room.

The beach was not far at all from our hotel, so by the time we headed for the beach that morning, the sky was still partly dark. H set his tripod near the water, wanting to take a time lapse of the sun rising.

It was Friday, which could only mean one thing; KAHF. I greedily wanted the waves, every single drop of the water that makes it up, every single grain of sand on that part of the beach, every passing seagull, every soaring pelican, and every sprinting Sanderling to be my witness to Kahf.

As I took snapshots of the sun rising, I recited Kahf. Ya Allah…please accept this from me. It’s not everyday you get to recite Kahf on Friday at the beach, right? Thank God It’s Friday.

This was my first time watching the sun rise at the beach. You would think that it’s dusk if you just look at the snapshots. It’s mind blowing when you think that sunrise and sunset are just opposites of each other, much like fat is opposite of thin, and good is opposite of evil. Yet it’s so similar in the a lot of ways. Allah describes the changing of the night into day in many different ways in the Quran. The imagery that was given to us in His book, we can physically observe it in real life. From my perspective that morning on that beach, the illuminating light of the sun was there long before the actual disc made its full appearance above the horizon. From a point of reflection, in life, when you’re enduring hardship, things may seem like it’s going for the worst before things get better, but maybe, maybe, just like the sun’s imminent rising sends forth rays of light ahead of it, when the hardship is about to break through, ease has already brightened the corner up ahead. As Allah says in the Quran, ‘With a hardship is many eases.’ In the darkness of our suffering, we may be blind to that illuminating rays of ease that are already there, casting shadows that shift every second.

In the constancy of life, there is change. Even in hardship, through every second of it, change it taking place. Just like the sun will rise the next morning, the ease will overcome the hardship eventually. And when that ease breaks through and makes its full appearance, its golden light will overcome whatever darkness that was there before and make you forget you ever suffered. That ease, is Jannah. May Allah grant it to all of us, Ameen.

]]>https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/05/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-beach-sunrise/feed/0img_20161125_072011216Nadiawp-image-405718496jpeg.jpegIMG_1004.JPGIMG_20161124_165225010.jpgIMG_20161124_174259509.jpgIMG_0891.JPGIMG_1535.JPGimg_20161125_0639202501img_20161125_0639140131img_20161125_071810582img_20161125_064404726img_20161125_070045579img_20161125_064812801img_20161125_0643210371img_20161125_072011216img_20161125_070424637South Padre Island, Yes, In Texas: Kayaking The Bayhttps://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/04/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-kayaking-the-bay/
https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/04/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-kayaking-the-bay/#respondMon, 05 Dec 2016 00:03:38 +0000http://juliherman.wordpress.com/?p=3612]]>On the drive back from Island Adventure Park, I tried calling the kayak rentals again and asked for their rates. Most were about $40 and up per double kayak. I wanted to find something cheaper. In the room, I looked on the internet and found some and just called them. Some didn’t pick up. We lounged in the room, not sure of what our next activity was. Then, a call came in on my phone.

As usual, my annoyance piqued. I am VERY annoyed by phone calls.

“Why?? Who is this??!” I was exasperated to have to tend to a call from I didn’t know who, but I picked it up anyway.

“Theresa,” said a woman’s voice.

“I think you got the wrong number,” I responded, relieved that it’s not a chatty phone call.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I got a missed call from you,” she said.

It dawned on me that it was probably one of the numbers I had called for kayak rentals that wasn’t picked up, so I quickly said,
“Oh! Do you rent kayaks?”

“Yes.”

“What are your rates?” I asked, excited.

“You have to call my husband. That call you made must have gone to my phone. Here’s his number.”

I called the number and her husband answered.

“What are your kayak rental rates?” I asked.

After I told him how many people we were, he drawled,

“Well, it’s usually two hundred but for you and because it’s Thanksgiving,..I can do $10 per person,”

He sounded like one of the surf dudes to me. H was listening and his eyes widened at what the man said. I wasn’t sure if he was joking or serious about the $200.

He suggested we take some paddle boards too so we could switch between us half way out in the water. He had only one double kayak and the rest were single kayaks. I was feeling a bit nervous about going a single kayak, as this was the ocean after all, and I have my own illogical fear of sharks.

I told him I would call him back after we decide. We decided yes, we would go kayaking and we reserved the kayaks and paddleboard. His business was done from a part of his house, which might have been what would have been a garage. He even warned me that don’t be surprised that we’d be driving to a house when we went to look for his rental place.

It was a nice place; Windsurf Inc. His kayaks are in his backyard that had picnic tables and everything. We picked out our life vests, and he gave us our kayaks and paddleboard. His backyard had a short drop off to the bay, and so we had to climb down to the shore of the bay and slip the kayaks into the water. He wanted us to walk out into the water in order to get on board the kayak. I was a bit apprehensive about it but I did it anyway. Turned out, the water was pretty shallow. It wasn’t until later as we were further out in the bay that we learned how shallow the water in the bay was, even far out!

Hubby rode the paddleboard, the older kids rode the single kayaks, and Z and I paddled the double kayak with Z in front.

The last time we went kayaking was in Oklahoma, under the relentless summer sun, last year. I was apprehensive about it especially because the older kids tried to scare me with alligator sightings. This time, they didn’t scare me with shark sightings, but I controlled the fear within myself and just kept paddling with Z.

Somewhere along the way, Hubby fell off his paddleboard. We were already quite far out in the bay that you would think the water was deep. To our surprise, he was standing only waist deep ! I had noticed too as I was paddling, that I could see the bottom of the bay, but I was trying not to look too hard lest my gaze fell upon a Great White. My struggle then was trying to control my thoughts and not to let it wander where I would scream out in panic in the middle of the bay.

We discovered that the bay was shallow even far out, and my fear dissipated. I wasn’t planning on getting in the water but at least I told myself that there was no way a shark could be in that bay. Dolphins maybe but even then, why would they swim in such shallow water anyway. I felt completely relaxed and began to thoroughly enjoy the sights and peace and quiet around us. Pelicans again, graced us with their majestic silent presence. These pelicans are really elegant beings. The way they sit in the water, the way the curves of their form shift as they take off in flight and stretch out their wings to soar, and then curl up again as they spot a meal in the water and proceed to dive at however many miles per hour right into the water, is just …mesmerizing to me. I could watch them all day.

Like a child, I squealed with delight at the sight of jumping fish in that bay. Right away we saw them as we were paddling out into the bay.

I couldn’t get over the jumping fish. I didn’t bring my phone because I didn’t want it to get wet. So I couldn’t take any photos, but H brought his water proof one, so he got some photos, but unfortunately not the jumping fish. I could watch those jumping fish all day too!

After the horseback riding in the morning, this kayaking was almost like a much needed anticlimax of the day. It was a nice relaxing activity. The weather was cool, and the bay was much calmer than the gulf side where the ocean breeze would rile up waves. We saw parasailing activities in the distance, and jet skiers.

H switched with Hubby because he wanted to try out the paddleboard. He fell in the water too, more than once. The paddleboard was hard to maneuver, according to Hubby. H figured out a way to maneuver it but let’s just conclude that we all preferred the kayaks.

The guy let us try it for an hour so we paddled around for about an hour. H set a timer on his phone so we could get back in time. After an hour, we decided we were done for the day and returned the kayaks and paddleboard. We let Z get on the paddleboard as we reached shore just to let him get the feel of being on it. For $10 per person, we got a really good deal! Alhamdulillah! I’m glad we didn’t book this activity ahead of time. This was the one time planning ahead wouldn’t have served us well. I had asked Allah for barakah in this trip. Maybe this is part of that barakah.

I really really could have sat in that kayak all day. If I lived on that island, kayaking that bay would have been my ‘Me Time’. Kayak, A Book, and Me. Aaaaahhh….

]]>https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/04/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-kayaking-the-bay/feed/020161125_135223Nadia20161125_135223.jpgIMG_20161125_142851530.jpg20161125_133524.jpg20161125_13521120161125_13515020161125_135123(1).jpg20161125_140149.jpg20161125_133856South Padre Island, Yes, In Texas: At The Beach On Horseback!https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/04/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-at-the-beach-on-horseback/
https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/12/04/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-at-the-beach-on-horseback/#respondSun, 04 Dec 2016 23:31:43 +0000http://juliherman.wordpress.com/?p=3504]]>The only thing I didn’t book ahead of time before we drove to South Padre Island was the kayaking. I had searched for it and found something with Groupon, was about to have Hubby pay for it, but since I wasn’t really sure where it would go on our itinerary, Hubby said we shouldn’t just pay for it yet. I had booked the dolphin cruise the night before, and I had booked the horseback riding too. In hindsight, it was a blessing that we didn’t book the kayak ahead of time as it would have cost us more.

We drove to South Padre Island Wednesday night, arrived in Corpus Christi early Thursday morning for fajr and breakfast, and arrived in South Padre Island itself around 12:45 pm. That Thursday, we went on the dolphin cruise and spent the rest of the day at the beach till maghrib. We commenced Friday with fajr in our room before heading out again to the beach for the sunrise. The big event that Friday was horseback riding. I didn’t really know how that was going to go, and how exhausted we would be so I left the rest of the day empty. If we were able and wanted to go ahead of kayaking, it would be after the horseback riding.

Before we left the hotel, I told H to get some rental brochures from the hotel lobby so that I could look them over on the way to Island Adventure Park, where the horseback riding was. On the way, I tried calling some of them, but T Mobile couldn’t get a signal on that part of the island. As we left the more bustling part of South Padre Island behind, heading north towards Island Adventure Park, the scenery changed from hotel buildings to sand dunes on our left and right. In fact, the sand dunes reached a height that was way above our van, that we couldn’t see the ocean or bay.

We were driving northbound, flanked by sand dunes that filtered on over to the road. It reminded me of White Sands in New Mexico. It was surreal, because I wasn’t used to seeing sand dunes on the beach. Growing up in Malaysia, I don’t recall seen sand dunes on the beaches there. I recalled sand dunes in Oregon when we went in Spring of 2013. And now here they are again.

Island Adventure Park was apparently at the very north end of the road. We passed signs that assured us we were approaching it. I had been eyeing Island Adventure Park long before we even decided to go to South Padre Island. I don’t remember how I chanced upon South Padre Island as a vacation destination, but I remember coming upon horseback riding on the beach as one of the Things To Do on South Padre Island. The whole idea fascinated and entranced me. We had gone horseback riding on the mountains of Ruidoso before when we were still living in New Mexico, but we had never ridden horses on the beach. I quickly noted that down as something we want to do. There were different options available on the website. H and I looked at them and decided that we would do the Morning ride which was $45 per person if we booked it online. That amounted close to $300 for all of us and Hubby did a gasping inhale when he saw the total, but we went with it. Phew!

It was WORTH IT! Totally worth it!

I’m glad we didn’t do the ziplining. I wasn’t going to either, because the minimum age and weight was way above what Z was. The idea of us ziplining while he stands there watching us repulsed me. He already has to do that with food. Uh uh. No way Jose. When we got there, I wasn’t too impressed with the ziplining set up. Let’s just say I would rather pay money to zipline through towering trees, or canyons, or rivers.

I had to sign a waiver for Z because he was under 12. He was the only one who had to use a helmet. The rest of us had a choice not to, so of course none of us took a helmet. We arrived there before the time they told us to be there, so we waited quite a bit till the group grew. When 10 a.m. approached, they rounded us up and said,

“We’re going to give you your horses’ names, so make sure you remember them as we’re going to call out those names.”

Kids were called first, so Z went. His horse’s name was Chumbucket. Turns out chumbucket means a bucket or pail in which animal feed would be placed. My horse’s name was Riptide, Hubby Romeo, N Red, H Splash and S ____. Chumbucket was a big horse, albeit a very gentle and calm one. One by one, our horse’s names were called and we stepped forward where the staff led us to our respective horses. My staff was a very nice lady who was so attentive to little things such as me wanting to fix my skirt after I slung my right leg over the horse.

“How does this feel? Do you feel comfortable?” She asked me as I slipped my left foot in the stirrup.

I didn’t know what was comfortable and what was not, as no one had ever asked me that before, when I mounted a horse. When she did my right foot, I saw what she meant, and I asked her to fix it up another notch so that my legs wouldn’t be dangling so low.

“I don’t want you to be like a jockey and have your knees up too high. That would be ok for me, someone experienced, but it might be uncomfortable for you.”

I think it would have been more comfortable for me but I trusted her judgment call. The pad in the stirrup slipped out and the metal was against my shin. For the rest of the ride, that fender that was supposed to rest on my left leg kept bothering me even though she had fixed it before we took off. Riptide was a young male horse. It was brown and white. I don’t know what kind of horse he was though, but he has a mind of his own, much like a teenager. For most of the one and half hour ride, he lagged behind. I mustered up those kissing noises to make him go but he didn’t listen. The only time he would start trotting was when the staff came to the back and made those kissing noises for him to get going. Then Riptide would start trotting. The first time he did this, I was taken aback and held on for dear life! But after he did it a few times, spurred on whenever another horse would start trotting behind or along him, I knew how to stand up on the stirrup so as to ride out the jolting motion as painlessly as possible. The metal part was still pressing against my shin, but I figured out a way to position my foot so that it didn’t. Nevertheless, it still left a bruise on my shins for a few days.

When we left the barn in a group, we had to cross the road. Cars stopped to let us cross. One thing I realized we rode on the beach was that there was a good reason this part of the beach was so far away from where the people usually go to. There was a good reason Island Adventure Park was at this north end of the island. Ahead of me, S was steering her horse to the water. Our guides had instructed us that we could steer our horses to the water if we could but we shouldn’t let them go deeper than an inch in.

“You can steer them to the water if you can, butno more than an inch!”

“The horse’s inch, not yours,” he added, to which we laughed in unison.

As S’ horse tread the lapping waves, it pooped. The incoming waves immediately washed over it, breaking it up, thus bringing back tan-colored water back to the ocean and leaving behind soft disintegrated remains on the beach. Before I witnessed this, as soon as I saw the ocean from atop the horse, I thought to myself,

Oh wow!! This part of the beach is unoccupied!! We should go here! We could even take off our hijabs! Oh maybe not but at least we don’t have to worry about people looking at us !

After seeing this poop and flush incident, natural as it was, I realized how ignorant I was. No way was I going to come to this part of the beach and play in the water. Not with all the horse poop that’s there!

Surprisingly though, there were people on that beach. Some with cars and pick up trucks driving on the beach! There was an Indian family, the women donned in saris, playing in the water. There was even a drone that hovered and flew above us as we rode.

I was one of those lagging behind, because of Riptide. I steered him towards the water and he did go, but he quickly went away from it every time. Some of the guides rode their horses in deeper water. I wish I could experience that! Not with Riptide I guess.

I managed to snap some photos while on Riptide. Thank goodness for the loop on my phone case, which I slipped my hand through and took photos with the other. I also looped it around the saddle’s horn as we rode. The challenge of trying to take videos or photos while on Riptide was Riptide deciding to go into a trot anytime he wanted. I had to make sure I was prepared for that sudden change of motion and not drop my phone. Overall though, I think I handled it well enough. In fact, I was getting quite a good grasp of standing up on my stirrup when he went into a trot that I was able to just hold on to the reins instead of the horn of the saddle. I also leaned forward slightly so as to take the pressure off my coccyx. I imagined the Native Americans riding bareback, hugging the horse’s flank tightly with their legs and leaning forward while holding on to their horses’ mane. It was exhilirating. I wonder how it would feel to gallop. A trot already felt fast for a beginner like me, but as I was able to get used to it, I half wished it would go into a gallop.

I began to grow fond of Riptide during the ride, and I would stroke his neck and rump as we rode, especially after he stopped trotting. I noticed Z’s horse and other people’s horses breaking up into a sweat halfway through the ride. I imagined the sahabah on their horses fighting battles. How strong and agile they must have been! I had trouble just making myself comfortable on Riptide!

The guides guided the horses over some dunes as we turned around for the ride back. Sea oats held those sand dunes down, or at least prevented them from completely blanketing the roads that lay on the other side. I love the look of those Sea oats; bright green, thin, long and willowy like overgrown goatees on the sand dunes. Some parts of the dunes were high enough that the horses had to put extra effort to climb over.

As we passed through those dunes, our path resumed at the beach and back we went to the barn. I was feeling the pain in between my legs. This was not the first time. The first time I rode a horse, I couldn’t sit properly for days. This time, it wasn’t that bad. I had a feeling that it was because I went for yoga Wednesday night, before we left, and I had done regular yoga poses that stretched my psoas. My sit bones were sore for a few days but it was definitely not as bad as the first time. The guide who led us back said,

“Usually, when beginners or people who haven’t ridden a horse for a long time ride a horse, they can’t walk straight for a few days.”

As soon as we reached the barn, Riptide charged for the trough that already had two other horses eating from it; one of them N’s horse. Youngins! A staff helped us dismount our horses. I really grew fond of Riptide. I can imagine how one can be deeply attached to a horse. It’s not hard. Horses are amazing creatures. Allahu Akbar!

The ride was simply amazing! Being on the beach itself is already an experience. Add being on horseback to it and you’ve definitely climbed up a notch in unforgettable experiences. Seagulls flew above us, the sun shone upon us, the gulf wind drove gentle waves towards us, and sea oats reigned over the soft rolling dunes. Like I said before, this was WORTH IT! Yes, even with post horseback riding soreness, this was WORTH IT!

I’ve been eyeing South Padre Island like a secret admirer, my desire for it growing in intensity the more I look at it. There are claims that it’s one of the cleanest beaches either in Texas or the nation, I forgot. I just remember that it has that reputation. It also has the triathlon reputation of being one of the top beaches to visit. We live in Texas. How lucky can we get??! Yeah, it’s a 9 hour drive, but we’ve driven longer distances when we were living in New Mexico. Plus, we have two extra drivers now.

I played around with hubby’s remaining vacation days for this year. Just like how careful he is with saving money, he saves his vacation days pretty excellently too. The question was, “Should we grace South Padre with our excited presence during Thanksgiving weekend or Christmas break?”

H presented a solid argument that we couldn’t refute, “It’s in Texas. If we have a long break in December, we should spend it going out of Texas. For places in Texas, we can go anytime.” Can’t argue with that.

Then, after heavy research and discussion of itinerary and hotel choices between H and I, hubby complained of chest pain and palpitations two days before we planned to leave.

Long story short, coffee might be a possible culprit. We went as planned alhamdulillah. I didn’t have to drive at all because hubby and S and H drove and they drive non stop. Our first stop was Corpus Christi. B and her husband showered us with generous hospitality.

It took us about 3 hours to get to South Padre Island from Corpus Christi with the low speed limit and traffic lights as we neared it.

We had booked a dolphin cruise at 1:30pm on that Thursday. Anxiously, I kept glancing at the clock, hoping that we could check in at the hotel and refrigerate the frozen cooked meals I had laboriously prepared two days prior. We needed to be at the dock by 1:15.

As we crossed the bridge from Port Isabel, which is still part of the mainland, to South Padre Island, hubby, who has studied the map beforehand, told me, “The dolphin place is supposed to be just right after the bridge, somewhere there,” as he pointed towards the right. Sure enough, I spotted Sea Ranch Marina written in a white building with a blue roof. We drove past it and headed towards the hotel. The clock showed 12:43. Alhamdulillah the hotel wasn’t that far. We checked in, prayed Zuhr and Asr shortened and combined, I shoved the frozen meals in the fridge, and breathed a sigh of relief as we bolted out the door. We made it to the dock in time!!

When I researched South Padre Island, I learned that October through December is a good time to visit because the summer and winter crowd are missing, plus it’s not hurricane season. That explained why there weren’t really that many people at the dock, which was nice.

I am grateful for my big straw hat that is now my companion on outings that involve long sun exposure. It really helps prevent headaches for me. This cruise was right smack in the afternoon, 1:30-3:30 pm. It was a really good deal, $13 per adult and $10 per child, but there were $3 discount coupons, so it came down to $10 per person for 2 hours. The Original Dolphin Watch. At first I was eyeing Osprey cruises which was $17 per adult, but TripAdvisor showed me other cruises and The Original Dolphin Watch was my ranked #2.

As we left the harbor, dolphins quickly came into view. In fact, one even swam alongside us. Alas! I didn’t catch it on camera. I’m directionally challenged, so during the cruise, I was blissfully enjoying the relaxed pace of the boat and ocean breeze without knowing which direction we were headed. It was only later on, days after, that I studied the map of South Padre and realized where we were. We were mostly cruising in the bay, in which the tour dragged a big net along the bottom of the bay (which I discovered later was VERY shallow). As they dragged the net, we left a trail of muddy water, a result of the bay bottom being stirred up. The net didn’t really reel in much, upon first glance. I even thought to myself,

Hmm…what are they going to do for the presentation? There’s nothing in there!

They dumped the contents of the net into a big bucket, and proceeded to begin the presentation. I was awestruck at what actually were in the net. There was a squid, a Pig Perch which if eaten tail-first, will score a painful wound along the predator’s mouth due to its razor sharp dorsal fins, and a Look Down Fish with no scales. I find this last one interesting. It kind of looks like Dory, but it’s white and very shiny. What fascinated me about this particular fish is that it could grow up to be about a foot or more, and because it’s very curious in nature, it will head towards divers head on and suddenly turn sideways. Because of its scaleless body, divers can be blinded by the sudden glare. This fish is a diver’s annoyance, as they lose a lot gear this way.

2 hours on this cruise was a nicely well spent 2 hours. I kept looking at my watch and when I realized that we had about an hour more, I was elated. We passed by a jutting rocky part of the island where people were fishing. On the other side of that was the beach. I wondered which part of the island that was. I wanted to go out to those rocks!

We started going out to the gulf and out of the bay. This was where the real waves were. We stood at the prow and faced the bobbing waves head on. With the ocean breeze caressing our faces and toying with out skirts and hijabs, we rode each wave as it bobbed us up and down gently.

The sun was also descending lower in the sky, and as it did so, it sprinkled its light on the surface of the water, scattering golden sprinkles on the undulating waves.

Here, we spotted more dolphins, their shiny backs gleaming black against the sunlight. The sight of pelicans soaring above us, their wing span fascinatingly long, was also a sight to behold. As we were cruising along, the pelicans were having their afternoon meals. Soaring high above us, they glided for a while, before suddenly aiming towards a meal they had spotted in the water, and dove straight in to get it. I can now understand why some people are sea addicts. I can now understand why some people would save up money and go sailing for months on end. There’s just something about the rhythmic motion of the waves that relaxes your soul. The ocean breeze is like the winds of mercy from Allah. Out in the open ocean, by the mercy of Allah who allowed boats to float on water, your soul is allowed to breathe freely, away from the hustle and bustle of life that can really imprison you mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Out here, you become one with the rest of the creations of Allah, and there is space for your soul to contemplate, to slow down, and recognize its Master, the Master of the worlds.

]]>https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/11/28/south-padre-island-yes-in-texas-dolphin-cruise/feed/0Nadiaimg_20161124_135324260img_20161124_133359844img_20161124_140150653IMG_20161124_141810479.jpgimg_20161124_145255880img_20161124_144318713img_20161124_144303266img_20161124_143129351IMG_20161124_145952324.jpgimg_20161124_144514074IMG_20161124_135925557.jpgThe Pink Refrigeratorhttps://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/10/31/the-pink-refrigerator/
https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/10/31/the-pink-refrigerator/#commentsMon, 31 Oct 2016 17:48:12 +0000http://juliherman.wordpress.com/?p=3382]]>I read this book to my 9 year old this morning. Considering I have been immersed in contemplation of my life, especially recently, this book left an indelible mark in my mind. It brought to mind Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic, which I had read through animated recommendation of a dear friend.

It has been a LONG time since I have written on this blog. In fact, I had trouble logging in. I mistakenly logged in to another of my abandoned blog which used my old abandoned email account to which I no longer have access because my memory bank has probably permanently deleted that information. I had to go on my phone where my son had installed the wordpress app, thereby eliminating the need for me to log in, which makes me even more happily complacent, oh who cares. Anyway, as I was trying to figure out how to log in and completely confused as to why I was logged in to another blog, I thought to myself,

“Juli, this is what happens when you abandon writing for so long! Even your own blog with your name won’t let you in!”

Alhamdulillah I got in. I also noticed another thing. My passwords…oh God…what was I thinking years ago? I have definitely changed. I really have. My password is so…repugnant. Shudder.

The Pink Refrigerator is a book about being curious and keeping that curiosity alive and kicking. That is along the lines of what Gilbert mentions in Big Magic. I have been having trouble figuring out what my passion is. I narrowed it down to writing after much contemplation. But then life twisted and turned in ways that I found myself in the midst of doing a LOT of teaching to different people. During my contemplation that led me to narrow down my passion, I realized that I love homeschooling not so much for the teaching aspect, but I love it because of the facilitating aspect. Yet if I narrow that down, I have to admit that it’s the opportunity to learn along with my children that sends that spark of excitement down my spine when I think about homeschooling. I love learning. Thus, I tend to sign up for classes here and there. However, the order of my priorities right now is not such that I can do learning full time. Not after Dream. Not now.

So, I’ve been toying around with the idea of getting back into writing. The hard part is, I haven’t written for so long. I lost that habit, as a dear friend pointed out to me yesterday during a phone conversation. I realized she’s right. I need to get back into that habit. I did try though. I decided that I was going to journal on a daily basis, not on this blog necessarily, but in an actual hard copy journal. Trouble is, between rushing and driving Z to his Co-op, art class, science class, and my own pursuit of part time learning, I was too exhausted to carve out that time to write daily. I got a few entries in but they weren’t consistent.

I had reflections and ideas running through my mind, but they weren’t getting written down. I realize that that kills me inside, slowly but surely. I have this need to have things written down, so I just need to figure out how to realistically do it without pushing myself over the edge. This past week has been…very trying. But hey, at least I’m back on the blog! I think.

]]>https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/10/31/the-pink-refrigerator/feed/2NadiaThe Dream ‘Hoodhttps://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/10/31/the-dream-hood/
https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/10/31/the-dream-hood/#respondMon, 31 Oct 2016 17:31:39 +0000http://juliherman.wordpress.com/?p=3251]]>“How can it be so crazy in class??” someone said to me, referring to the Dreams students’ antics in class.

I simply laughed and said, “Well, if you’re in such an intense program, trust me, you can’t be studious and serious all the time. You need some craziness to balance it off.”

One Dream sunnah that has been increasing as of late, is gifting. What that means is that someone may decide to to give gifts to everyone, and either remain anonymous or not, and in the morning then, we’d all be pleasantly surprised with these little gifts in our individual cubbies. We’d walk in the lounge and pass by our cubbies. Most of the time they’re empty, or filled with our graded test papers/quizzes, but some days, we’d see little treats in each individual cubby, and we’d know that someone has just implemented the Dream gift sunnah. If the gift giver didn’t announce herself on the gift itself, the logical reaction would be,

“Aww this is so sweet! Who gave this?”

It’d usually be followed by,

“Don’t ask, just enjoy it and make dua for the person.”

Because some people want to remain anonymous.

Recently, someone ordered customized Bayyinah mugs for everyone, brothers and sisters. To this day, we still don’t know who the generous gifter is though I have a strong feeling it’s Ustaadh Adam, but he’s so adamant in saying he doesn’t know anything about it.

Another recent gift was the snowflake bookmark given to us by our resident Doctor on the sisters side. It’s a beautiful gift that reminds us that we’re all unique.

I had a pleasant surprise gift from Beauty which holds the memory of Kung Fu Panda that we watched over and over in class (well, kind of over and over, to the point that we got sick of it).

Chopsticks.

The food item is a Malaysian dessert called Kuih Sagu. It’s made of tapioca pearls, boiled in sugar-ed water, steamed in a pan, then cut and coated with lightly salted shredded coconuts. In the Northeastern part of the Malaysian Peninsula, they would even have this for breakfast.

We’ve had other little gifts too in the past. On top of that, there are known and anonymous people who would buy us all lunch on certain days and those days also seem to be increasing as we are approaching the end of Dream now.

In all, the bond between Dream students, is the desire to learn the language of Quran, and that in itself is a strong bond, that when adorned with sincere love for one another, is something to be cherished and a blessing in and of itself. Our bonds with our teachers, is something precious and may Allah increase the love between us and accept this from all of us. Ameen.

That, is the Dream ‘hood. Brotherhood and sisterhood. May Allah gather us in the shade of His throne on the day when there will be no shade but His. Ameen!!

In surah Kahf (16:97)in the story of Zhul Karnayn, at the third place that was mentioned, he was asked to build a barrier against the Gog and Magog, who were creating havoc. So Zhul Karnayn built an iron wall. This iron wall was described by Allah as below,

فَمَا اسْطَاعُوا أَنْ يَظْهَرُوهُ وَماَ اسْتَطَاعوا لَهُ نَقْبًا
They’re not able to scale it nor are they able to tunnel through it.

In Arabic though, something interesting is happening with the spelling of the word that is translated to ‘they’re not able to’.

In the situation of scaling the wall, the word is spelled like this:

اسْطَاعُوا
In the situation of tunneling through it, it’s spelled like this:
اسْتَطَاعُوا
Notice a difference?
One word is one letter longer than the other. The latter has a ت , while the former doesn’t. The default form of this word should be the latter, with the ت present. So, this means that the former is in an abnormal state where the ت is dropped.

The rhetorical benefit of this minute detail is immensely amazing. Let’s go back to the very first question.

Is scaling an iron wall easier, or digging through it? Scaling an iron wall is relatively easier than digging through an iron wall. In this ayah, when it came to talking about scaling the wall, the ت is dropped, whereas when it came to talking about digging through the wall, the ت is present.

The dropping of ت here indicates relative ease, alluding to the fact that scaling an iron wall is easier than tunneling through it. That’s why the ت is preserved in the word اسْتَطَاعوا when it was talking about tunneling through the iron wall.

So, in translation, we only get, “They’re not able to scale it, and they’re not able to tunnel through it.”

Yet, through diving into the intricacies of the Arabic, we get more beauty and details. Not only are they not able to scale or tunnel through it, but Allah alludes to the fact that scaling is easier than tunneling through it, yet they still won’t be able to do it.

Until, of course, Allah allows it to happen, which is what Zhul Karnayn says next, which is food for thought in and of itself.

]]>https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/03/06/scaling-vs-tunneling/feed/0NadiaWhat Is the Purpose of Your Face?https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/03/03/what-is-the-purpose-of-your-face/
https://juliherman.wordpress.com/2016/03/03/what-is-the-purpose-of-your-face/#commentsFri, 04 Mar 2016 01:15:13 +0000http://juliherman.wordpress.com/?p=3362]]>I guess there comes a time in your life when you’re hit with the realization that you just need to stop, take a step back, reassess and reconfigure. I have had these moments several times, but they have never been as momentous as it is recently where I feel like I was flung out of a roller coaster. Forget being hit by a train.

There I was going at 160 miles per hour, and even when I was told to slow down, I kept on going, just taking it all, the wind in my face, distorting it like crazy, taking the breath out of me. Then all of a sudden, my head couldn’t take it anymore, my emotions went on its own roller coaster, and I took off my seat belt and the rest is…as stated above.

As I pretty much jettisoned in the air, crying, screaming, yet deliriously relieved, I realized I was moving away from the roller coaster, obviously. Then, gravity started to do its thing, and I began to plummet. This is where you fall into bouts of depression. You don’t feel like doing anything. You refuse to do anything. You just feel like laying on your bed and sleeping and you don’t feel like you even want to wake up anymore. Just…whatever. Leave me alone.

I have as is my usual self, been analyzing why I have been feeling they way I have been feeling. I know several things for sure, well, as sure as I can right now at least.

I had taken on too much on my plate. I had done Dream, which was a full time thing and I had given my best. I didn’t multitask during Dream, so that meant that homeschooling was pretty much abandoned. I didn’t cook, I didn’t clean. The family took care of it. Right after Dream, I took on work. The family encouraged me. Because after all, they don’t want me to waste all that I worked for during Dream. Plus, they don’t want me to waste my ‘talent’ either, which is such a misnomer. They had high expectations of me.

I was reading something today about this book called Mindset. I had just put a hold on it at the local library. Its blurb tells about how smart children grow up feeling the need to maintain their ‘smart’ label and how children who have been labeled not so smart, grow up fulfilling that prophecy. I think I was suffering from the former condition. I felt the pressure. It’s funny. I’m almost 40, and I’m dealing with something that usually plagues younger people.

And so, while I was doing all this work, I reached a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I exploded and collapsed. My children were shocked that I had quit. Some of them couldn’t understand why it was stressing me out so much. Maybe, I had performed so well all these years as supermom, that it came as a shock to them that my Energizer Bunny batteries sputtered and stopped. I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t.

Usually, when I had too much on my plate, I crossed them off and moved on. This time however, I hadn’t even completely recovered from Dream. I went on and ‘moved’ on with my life still at a fast speed. It was exhilirating at first, but the engine soon died on me.

Now that I’m not working, I actually feel a lot better. A LOT better. Of course, the normal course of life continues. But at least, I’m decluterring and packing and looking for a place to rent as a normal mom. I am able to pay attention to my children once again. I’m able to just sit and not think about work. I’m able to actually use my planner again as I used to before things got crazy. I’m able to actually look up things for my kids again, for their education. I feel more in my element.

I feel like I’m snapping back on the other end, and to be honest, I actually do feel somewhat averse to Bayyinah. I know that sounds bad. I feel that way, because of how I didn’t recognize the flashing warning signs in myself. Now, I feel like I’m getting away from it, so that I can find what is normal again. It’s like being stretched so thin, until you reach a snapping point, and you snap back all the way to the other end, and you want to stay there before tottering back to the middle. That’s how it feels right now.

That’s burnout.

What is the purpose of your face?

PIXAR HOME. All the above, as far as I am aware right now, that is the purpose of my face.