Bidding Is Open For The Microwave Stephen Colbert Stole From Bill O’Reilly

We like to think that Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly and Stephen Colbert are secretly super best friends who sit in a treehouse and giggle about their next moves, because how else would an auction of the microwave Colbert stole from O’Reilly’s green room in 2007 be possible? Or we’re all just lucky the universe loves comedy.

The notes are signed by O’Reilly and Obama and the starting bid was $10,000. That gave Colbert his grand idea, since “everything this man touches is historic.”

“What you are looking at here is the actual microwave oven I stole from Bill O’reilly’s green room,” he explained in the segment. “I had to folks, because this carousel, technically, makes this a spin zone. That’s against the O’Reilly constitution.”

Colbert was going to take a cue from O’Reilly and start the bidding at $10,000 for the “most historically important journalistic microwave since 1977’s Defrost/Nixon” but then he realized after a little research that most 6-year-old microwaves go for around $40. Since O’Reilly used it himself, Colbert adds, “we will start the bidding at $43.”

It’s signed by Colbert and O’Reilly — “if he signs it.” All proceeds will go to the Yellow Ribbon fund, a charity that helps military families.

“Nation, don’t miss your chance to bid on what one day historians will say I said was history; the microwave I stole from Bill O’Reilly when I appeared on his show in 2007. Not only has it been an iconic piece of my set for seven years, but it is the last known remaining spin zone from the O’Reilly Factor, and it can microwave the heck out of a frozen burrito. It is also signed by yours truly, and one hopes by Papa Bear himself. Bid now, bid often, and bid big, because who knows what other celebrities will sign it, or not. One of a kind.”

As of this afternoon, the top bid on the microwave was at $85,400. O’Reilly’s Obama interview notes are currently going for $30,000.