A Nerdy Daddy's Journey

Want to know 3 amazing tricks for astounding results?

Do you want to know amazing tricks for astounding results? Sure you do!

Did you click this?

According to my headline analyzer, this horrible and cheesy headline is extremely likely to get click throughs. Lucky for you, this is just an experiment. If it works, who knows? I might start using awful headlines for all my posts. See how popular I can become.

As a consumer of content, I find these “One weird trick” headlines appalling. Don’t the masses know better? Can’t you tell by the copy that you are clicking an ad nest that will bog your computer down? Odds are good that following a link like this will pop up an unclosable window insisting that “You are the 100,000th visitor” and “Click here to claim your prize!” Or worse yet: “Your computer is infected! Click here to initiate virus scan!”

And yet, studies tell me that “Top 3” headlines are the best at stopping people. And if the tricks you learn promise to be “easy” then all the better.

Actually, let me rephrase this in a more digestible way.

Easy trick #1: Use numbers

Always include a number in your headline. 5 craziest police chases. 2 most beautiful women in Hollywood without their makeup. That kind of thing.

Easy trick #2: Use words like “easy”

Would you have clicked if the headline said, “Best 3 difficult tricks…” Yeah, possibly. But most people would rather click on something easy. The internet is such that information is consumed at an incredible rate. There is no need for difficulty. If the 3 tricks are too hard, I’ll move on to something easier.

Easy trick #3: Use emotional buzzwords

Phrases like “Results you demand!” speak to people’s sense of entitlement. “Yeah! I demand results!” Words like “amazing” and “weird” similarly speak to users’ sense of individuality and makes them feel they are being spoken directly to.

So like, sorry.

I know this post is a dirty trick. An ambush. I just want to see how many people will click. My studies and tools have told me that this should be my most-clicked headline regardless of its ambiguity.

Results will have to wait, but I might post a mysterious follow-up piece.