Does Your Relationship Lack Balance?

Does Your Relationship Lack Balance?

I work with many couples to restore communication and bring balance into their partnerships. In some cases one person sacrifices and bends more to accommodate the other, and their voice isn’t valued or heard. When one starts to suppress their voice in order to “keep the peace”, and/or their needs are being neglected it’s a sign one person is dominating the relationship.

If you feel you can’t speak your mind, share your feelings, and/or give your opinions about the relationship without your partner shutting down your sentiments, or making you feel like you’re crazy or dumb for thinking/feeling the way you do, then you’re not being treated with respect.

This type of imbalanced dynamic only leads to pain, frustration and resentment which causes couples to grow apart. Part of being a loving partner is determined by your willingness to genuinely care how your partner is feeling, and to see them as an equal.

If you want your connection to grow deeper over time, then you’ll both have to be FAIR and FLEXIBLE.

Below are list of controlling behaviors that do not serve love. Instead they cause unhappiness and dissatisfaction which only leads down a dark, lonely road of pain and suffering.

Controlling Relationship Habits:

Manipulation

Intimidation

Humiliation

Stonewalling

Defensiveness

Interrupting and cutting the other off while they are talking

Contempt

Criticism (not the same as constructive criticism)

Inequality – always calling the shots and doing what they want to do regardless of how their partner feels, or what they want

Unwillingness to validate or affirm another’s feelings

Lying and/or failing to honor their word as well as commitments (it doesn’t matter how small or big, they all impact TRUST and RESPECT)

Not taking accountability for mistakes and feeling they are always in the right

Putting ALL THE BLAME on the other person for problems in the relationship

It’s easy to see how these habits could easily break the spirit of another.Believe it or not even these kinds of relationships can be saved. However, their main source of salvation relies on the desire and commitment to heal and transform that which is broken. Their openness to embracing change, and how much they’re able to take accountability and empathize with one another is crucial. It’s what determines whether they stay together, or if they’ll go their separate ways.

“Empathy is truly the heart of the relationship. Without it, the relationship will struggle to survive.”
Carin Goldstein, licensed marriage and family therapist.