This week I had a De Minimis staffer question the premise of this weekly column. This is problematic. I figured a law-school based readership would be astute enough to get it, nevertheless it seems I should clarify: L is for Loser is the prompt, ipso facto L is for ‘____’ makes ‘____’ a losery practice to engage in.

L is for lack of understanding of a simple premise?

I explained it to my 3 year old brother and he said he got it! Though he is a compulsive liar and at the time I was holding a bowl of vanilla ice-cream with hundreds and thousands... and chocolate topping...

Anyway, I digressaverge (which is like digressing and diverging, but to a greater extent, like what I’m doing right now). This week I’m condemning that practice of making friends at law school, but never taking those relationships to the next level.

I’ve charted the ascendance of a law-friendship to actual-friendship as thus: two people meet in week one, which progresses to regular banter about the woes of that class through to week three, by week five they’re Facebook friends, and in week seven they go for a non-obligatory coffee at Seven Seeds. At law ball they had an opportunity to get drunk together which has broken the ice somewhat, but a fortnight has passed which has allowed the ice to freeze over again, reinforcing the wall between them. And now there’s a three inch thick wall of ice that’s see through and they can each see the other on the other side of the ice-wall and if they leave it any longer it’ll freeze for good and they-, nup this metaphor isn’t working.

It’s week ten now! The next step is to catch up in an entirely non-law context; like on the weekend, during the night time or at Revolver at 5am on a Tuesday.

I appreciate that it can be hard taking that next step. You’ve been hurt before and the cuts to the heart are the hardest to heal. But you need to get back out there on the scene because happiness doesn’t come to those who beware, it comes to those who get out there (I read that on a fortune cookie that I dreamt up).

There are, of course, risks.

The first arises where your target friend is of a sex to which you are attracted and vice versa (can I get a ‘what what!’ from the gays for that fine display of non-gender-specific- framing-of-romance-reference). In this instance, any further offer could be construed as an advance, of the sexual kind. I suggest faking having a significant other (cue: ‘what what!’) or telling the person you do a really non-sexual sport, like badminton or archery.

The second risk is that you take this mantra too far and ditch your non-law friends. This becomes problematic because you get to the summer holidays, and all your over-achieving law friends are either overseas or working full-time so you spend your holiday playing Banjo Kazooie and watching porn.

So long as you manage these risks, you should go for it! I understand taking this next step can be tricky though, so here I make a proposal. Post this article (http://mudeminimis.com/category/l_is_for/) on their Facebook wall and direct them to the following paragraph:“Hey there law-friend, what’s happening in your world? I’m ready to take things to the next level, so let’s go for mojitos at Cookie next Friday night.”

Charles Hopkins is hosting a seminar on viral marketing next week; details to follow through an assortment of social networking media.