Thursday, March 8, 2012

RAISON D'ETRE

One of these people is from South Sudan. The other one isn't. See if you can guess which of the two is which.

If it were legally possible, I would turn this picture into this site's logo because nothing better demonstrates why Bad Vestments exists. And here's a contest for you. The first person who can tell me exactly why I consider this picture to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen wins the official Bad Vestments teddy bear (the rest of you, of course, can buy one for a limited time only. I'm not making a profit on those things so go ahead and order six or seven).

37 comments:

well that 's easy. One of them is dressed up like an African because they think it's somehow reaching out and living into the gospel, the other one IS an African who just preaches the gospel - far more boring ;)

"And Jesus, walking by the marketplace of Galilee, saw two sistren, Pebbles called Flintstone, and Loretta her wet nurse, feeding children at the breast: for they were guardians of children. And he saith unto them, Cast away thy little ones. Every one that forsaketh children for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold. Follow me, and I will make you wet nurses of humanity. Then the Lord intoduceth unto his disciples his sister, Jesusina, saying, It is not meet that one man should die for the sins of the whole world, but a woman must die for women, yea, in the name of the Queen of Heaven, which is my Mother, the Feminine side of my Father, the Goddess (for Mary is merely a housewife in need of liberation). And sendeth forth they Pebbles and Loretta into Jerusalem for to anoint a Women's Equality Movement. And when Jesus and Jesusina were crucified, then returned they to their 12 apostles (them being 7 women and 5 men, 3 of whom were gay, lesbian, bisexual, and/or transgender, 9 of whom were in favor of gay marriage and ordination), saying, Go forth into the whole world and be as one with it, yea do exactly like it. Accept ye all manner of sin, and put none out of the congregation, but inform the people that we have repented for what we did against Sodom and Gomorrah. Also put thee on the tacky clothing of God, inventing many devices, making merchandise of many. And Lo, we are with you most of the time for a short spell. Amen." - Gospel of Paula 6:66, PERV (People's Easy Reader Version)

Everything about this photo is painful to the eyes. The bishop wearing a sacramental black stole with the ubiquitous IHS on it over his choir habit of rochet and chimere ain't too kosher. The cross and crown in the background and the little yellow crosses are pretty tired. The print pulpit robe sort of fits right in with the general ugliness.

Sorry. I thought tippets were plain black scarves, wool for the lower clergy, silk for higher ranks. Sometimes they are ornamented with coats of arms of a seminary or diocese but once you start adding IHS's and gold fringe, I think you've got a stole.

Neither match the altar prefontal in the background, which indicates the Lenten season.

The one of the left has a stole close to the right color, both does not match the correct altar prefrontal. Since they come in sets, one normally matches the other. Therefore she is either not from that church or "dressing up" for the occassion. Her stole is off kilter, either to reflect her theology or her hideous choice of a robe. It is beyond comprehension liturgically, asthetically, and in the way it fits.

The man, on the other hand, has a black stole, normally liturgically reserved for Good Friday, thus not matching the liturgics of the prefront. It appears to lay over an even larger red stole or stole-like robe, with red the color of Pentecost, not the color of Lent on the altar prefrontal.

The combination of red, orange and purple is terrible. It is clear they did not consult on vestments or liturgics before appearing an what looks like a normal church with the right purple prefrontal for the season.

The lay person in charge of changing the altar clothes is the winner. That person is the only one who got it right.

If Old English usage does not use purple for Lent, then I am sure that the lady is not Old English.

However, chances are the sacristan did not err. They are usually a picky lot, legalistic to a tee and would die before making such a major mistake at what seems to be a significant event -- a mistake which could have been easily changed before the public meeting of the dynamic duo presented here.

I'm no expert on the particulars, but I'd much rather attend a service led by the gentleman pastor/minister than the woman. He looks great, but her robe colors are beyond ghastly. Also, it looks like she's wearing black slacks underneath her robe. Maybe his smile means he's either trying his best not to bust out laughing at her vestment fashion Crime, or simply that Everything about her is hilariously ludicrous to him.*Love the teddy bear at your cafepress page ! He's too cute !

She is simply a joke and a caricature of a failed "new theology" and, perhaps, of the West, in general. He, on the other hand, seems to be trying but the Requiem (though incorrect) stole may be a perfect sign of thei impending death of the Anglican Tradition.

Typical campy patronizing tripe from the Religious Left. They think they are being so intelligent and relevant. It's a picture of what I detest about their poser mentality. They really are being insulting. Wealthy revisionist western Anglican/Episcopal provinces do the same with dangling money in Africa/Global South, in exchange for political advantage, compliance, or silence. Sorry...but I have missionary friends who can attest to this. As far as his tippet...it may be a local thing...it my have been a gift...who knows. In many places in Africa, they are desperately trying to survive and not get their churches burned down...Ritual Notes, Dearmer, and OSV handbooks may be in short supply. But technically, with that embrodery and gold fringe, he now is wearing a "stoppet".

It's hard to see because of the graininess of the photo, but the bishop's 'stole' looks gathered at the neck like a tippet would be. But it's still too thin to be a tippet, and the gold fringe really doesn't belong on anything but a stole. Maybe some confused elderly parishioner made it for him and he was too nice not to wear it...?

Women: Well, I wanted you to feel like you're at home. That's how we make everyone feel at Grace Episcopal Church.

Priest: Uh, actually about that, you know, we Africans don't always wear patterns like that. There's a lot of diveristy between the various countries, and we Christians influenced by by western Europe actually really like your Euro-styled vestments.

Woman:...What was that. I'd didn't hear you cause I've got a piece of shreaded wheat in my teeth. okay, its time to break out the Djembe for a rousing chorus of "Rain Down."

I have seen curtains in an op shop that match her 'vestment'. I note she has not got a cassock let alone an alb under her garment. The Anglican bishop on the right is not in a stole. It is a preaching scarf or tippet worn as choir dress. He should have a zuchetto on - black if he is a canon and purple if a bishop but the lack of a pectoral cross makes a mockery of that one. Why the bishopess cannot tie her hair back is beyond me.

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This site is dedicated to subjecting particularly awful Christian liturgical vestments or church decorations to the ridicule they so richly deserve. Contributions are welcome and can be e-mailed to websterglobe at juno dot com.