So I am sitting on the couch in my family room watching my son watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when I comment on the recent news articles revealing that former POTUS George Herbert Walker Bush is an accomplished painter with a penchant for painting himself in the nude.

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“You mean he stood there looking at himself in a mirror?” My son asked.

“Yes, I suppose he did,” I responded.

After a short silence my son opined:

“Well, that makes sense.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Okay, let’s say you are a former conservative Republican President who likes to paint nudes,” my son says.

“Okay,” I respond. “let’s say that.”

“Well, then your possibilities are limited,” my son concludes.

“How so?” I ask.

“Have you seen Barbara Bush?” my son asks.

“His wife?”

“Yes.”

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“Oh,” I said, granting the point.

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UPDATE:

I found out later that it is was recently revealed that it is George Bush the Younger (the one who started two long wars but didn’t pay for them and very nearly brought down the global economy), not George Bush the Elder (the one who scoffed at his critics’ complaints that he lacked foresight by referring to it as “that vision thing”) who painted and presumably still paints himself nude.

I didn’t inform my son of my error. I value any exercise in critical thinking and, based on even invalid data his conclusion was admirable.

And it is very likely that the younger Bush paints himself nude because his daddy did it, too, and the younger Bush is competing with him artistically.

The following photo is of a painting obtained by hackers of the younger Bush’s painting efforts. It is a bit creepy because it is clearly derived from a photograph, which means George has a collaborator who takes pictures of him in the nude:

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The elder Bush was a better president (he fought Gulf War I, neutralized Saddam Hussein without creating a quagmire the US could not exit from). The odds are the elder Bush is a better painter.

BUKRA, Montana – The Obama administration announced today that it will be forcing an openly racist federal judge to retire or be fired.

“Man, I hate negroes,” said Judge Richard Cebull after learning about the President’s decision to replace him. “They are SO sensitive.”

The email Judge Cebull circulated was sent to him by his openly racist brother, Jeb. Judge Cebull forwarded the email on to his friends and family. The email told a joke describing the President’s mother as a woman likely to have sex with dogs because she was willing to have sex with the President’s African father.

“Technically speaking it wasn’t a racist joke because Judge Cebull was making fun of the President’s mother, a white woman,” said Trip Henderson, a white supremacist and an elected member of the Montana State Senate. “I am widely considered an expert on racist jokes – a connaisseur of racial humor, if you will,” Henderson said. “In my racist expert opinion, Judge Cebull’s joke was only semi racist and, if I were judging his joke I would give it a two on a scale of zero to ten with zero being awful and ten being as good as a racist joke can get. Like the one I told last night in church.”

Judge Cebull announced that he would semi-retire from the bench. “I will still be trying cases, but not if any of the parties are black. Or hispanic. Or asian. I don’t like them either. Or A-rabs. I hates me some A-rabs. Tent heads. Sand niggers. But it’s business as usual for everyone else.”

MUNCIE – Jack Welch, founder and former CEO of General Electric, Romney surrogate and de facto spokesman for the Republican Party stated that the statistics showing a slow but steady improvement for the national economy have been fabricated by the Obama administration.

Welch’s sentiment reflects a constant Republican complaint about the U.S. economy. They believe it cannot be improving and must be getting worse.

“These numbers can’t be real,” Welch said. “We did everything we could to ruin the economy. We gave America George Bush and he gave us two wars and huge entitlements that he paid for with money borrowed from China. He drove the deficit up to astronomical levels. Obama inherited an economy that simply could not be fixed, and after he was elected, Republicans in congress did everything they could to stop him from fixing the economy by create jobs. So numbers showing any improvement must be wrong.”

Others disagree.

“These statistics show what we all know, and that is that the American economy is finally rising out of the dark hole that the Republicans dug for the nation and that President Obama inherited from George Bush,” said Big Bird, a Public Television celebrity. “Obama had an impossible job to do, but now his policies are working. There is no need to make drastic cuts in public spending, especially funding for Public Television,” Bird said. “So Mitt Romney can go fuck himself.”

During his first Presidential Debate, Republican candidate Mitt Romney refused to say which government programs he would cut, but when pressed he said he would cut funding for Public Television.