August 20, 2014

Improve your odds of taking her home with these 10 expert tips.

Let’s face it: For most guys, if you’re interested in a woman enough to pursue her, ask her out, and take her on a date, then you’re probably interested enough to want to take things in a physical direction, too. So, how do you make sure the night ends with fun in your bed instead of a hug on her doorstep? Nick Savoy, publisher of Date! The Proven Handbook for Men is here to supply some tips.

1. Start at your place, end at your place

Tell her to come over and you’ll both go out from there. She doesn’t even have to come inside (though it’s good if she does, and feels comfortable). At the end of the night, you’re guaranteed to get her back to your place, since that’s where her car will be. From there, it’s easy to invite her in for one last drink…

2. Get the kiss out of the way early

On most dates, the woman is going to make a “should we or shouldn’t we” decision at the end of the night. If you haven’t kissed her yet, then that’s what she’ll be deciding. Raise the stakes by getting the first kiss out of the way early— move in at one of the first emotional high points of the evening.

3. Don’t be a talking head

Have you ever had a great date, brought a woman home, and sat on the couch while figuring out how to “make your move”? That’s usually a first-class ticket to Let’s Just Be Friends-ville. Touching and kissing should be a natural progression all night, not some big, awkward shift. Start by touching her shoulders or elbow or playfully putting your arm around her, and gauge her reaction from there.

4. Keep moving

It’s a proven psychological principle that people will feel closer to one another when they’ve spent time in different environments together. So, don’t just plop your butt down for a five-hour dinner. Think shorter times at several different places—or even move around where you are.

5. Stay on your turf

For a first date, go to a place that you’re familiar with, ideally where you know people. Women look to how other people treat you for cues about your personality. The more you’re treated like a highly valued man, the more she will think that’s true. In contrast, if you’re on her turf and competing for her attention, it’ll be 10 times harder for her to feel attracted to you.

6. Don't plan a dinner or movie date

Good dates involve places where there is external entertainment (not just conversation, like at dinner), where the two of you can talk, and where touching is easy. Sitting across from each other at dinner or mutely side-by-side at the movies accomplishes nothing. Next time, try something fun and different, like karaoke or a comedy club.

7. Don’t spend too much

Yeah, for real. You risk her feeling that you are trying too hard (unattractive) or are trying to buy her affection (unattractive and sleazy). Or, worse, she might decide that if this is what you spend to try to get in her pants, she’s never going to let you get too far, so you keep spending. Still, this doesn’t mean you should be cheap or expect her to pay half.

8. Don't take yourself too seriously

One mistake that seemingly 99% of men make is they are far too serious when meeting and dating women. Be playful. Show confidence. Even the most educated and successful woman wants to have fun when she’s on a date. And even the most high-powered woman is still a woman. If she’s a CEO, she’s been treated as a CEO all day. Be the man who treats her like a woman.

9. Take the lead

Nervousness, frustration, and indecision are very unattractive qualities in a man, especially on a first date. This is your opportunity to show her that you can handle whatever life throws at you with presence and poise. Plan the date, have backup options, and trust yourself. If the night feels comfortable to her, she will feel comfortable.

10. Be prepared

A lot of random things happen in the dating world, many of which are out of your control. Make sure that what is under your control is taken care of. Keep a condom in your back pocket. Keep your car and house acceptably clean. Pile stuff on chairs in your living room so you and she have nowhere to sit but side-by-side on the couch. Have girl-friendly drinks and snacks at home.