A utopia of randomness from a bloke who develops internet software and is also a dad

Are you Walter White a mild mannered science teacher everyone loves to ignore or are you Heisenberg a murderous drugs king pin?

Take our exclusive personality test to find out!

Spoliers warning: This blog entry obviously mentions key plot points right up until the last episode aired at the time of writing (S5:15 Granite State). Reading this blog entry will ruin your enjoyment of the series as quite often you do not see these things coming which increases the impact it has. So if you’re catching up or want to watch the series at some point, then close this now or have the series ruined for you forever.

Question 1:Despite your very best efforts and losing a pair of khakis in the process your first drugs sale goes awry and you now have a well connected drug dealer chained to a pole in a basement. Do you:

A) Let him go, it’s the moral thing to do.
B) Keep him alive but living in the basement.
C) Choke him to death with a bike lock while crying and whispering “Sorry” into his ear as his eyes bulge.

Question 2:You consider your co-worker in many ways to be a second son. You’ve had your good and bad times but you’re a good team and do your best to take care of him. He’s finally found true love in Jane. However after one last binge on drugs, she starts choking on her own vomit. Do you:

A) Call 911 immediately.
B) Put her in the recovery position and try to wake her.
C) Sit silently and watch her choke to death then keep this secret in your cold dead heart for three years only to blurt it out as your sort-of-second-son is hauled away by Albuquerque Nazis for interrogation followed by murder.

Question 3:After spending years driving an emasculating car you go out and buy a flashy red sports car to celebrate making millions selling meth. Your wife demands you return it immediately. Do you:

A) Agree. You’re supposed to be living on a teacher’s wage after all!
B) Plead to keep it. You *really* love it!
C) Take it to a car park; burn out the tyres then set fire to it and coldly watch it explode into a massive fireball.

Question 4:Eek! There’s no two ways about it, you’ve been a bit of a dick at work and now your murderous boss wants you dead. Do you:

A) Plead for your life.
B) Phone the vacuum repair man and vanish.
C) Play mind games to get your sort-of-son to shoot your new co-worker with whom you’ve cultivated a firm friendship over your love of karaoke and Walt Whitman poems directly in the face.

Question 5:Oh yummy! The pizza guy has just pulled up. Do you:

A) Take the pizza and give him the cash.
B) Open the door as you see him arriving. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT KNOCKS.
C) Toss the pizza onto your roof in a fit of temper.

Question 6:Ut oh! Even though you’ve had your co-worker killed just to save your skin, you’re STILL being a bit of a dick at work and your murderous boss wants you dead. Again! Do you:

A) Get your ‘vacuum repaired’. Nudge, nudge.
B) Hide in the crawl space with what’s left of your money laughing like a maniac.
C) Strap an explosive device to a wheelchair in an old people’s home and make one of the residents detonate it with a bell causing massive destruction and certain death during your murderous boss’s regular visits.

Question 7:Despite his cuddly personality, you’ve never really gotten on with your co-worker Mike. He finally decides to quit the business and leave town. He’s even offered to pay off his own men thus absolving you of any responsibility. Do you:

A) Thank him and wish him well!
B) Throw a ‘Sorry you’re leaving party’.
C) Impetuously shoot him as he’s leaving. Then follow his bloody trail just so you can tell him that you could have got the names from Lydia anyway as he takes his last breath thus making his death completely meaningless.

Question 8:You’ve got new glasses and a new name. You’re dying of cancer in a log cabin the middle of nowhere. Do you:

A) Use the time you have left to write long letters of apology and hope they are read.
B) Enjoy the natural beauty of the landscape and make peace with yourself.
C) Call the DEA to alert them of your presence and then go on one final ego fuelled murderous rampage with an M60 and a vial of ricin.

Yeah! Results, bitch!

Mostly As: You’re Walter White! You’ve a brain the size of a planet but you’re often derided and ridiculed. You’re a science teacher but you have no respect! You created a million dollar company but sold your share for a down payment on a house! You even gave away the entire story arc in a single science lesson (Growth, decay and transformation). Even your own brother in law thinks you keep your balls in a jar and jesus Marie, they’re minerals not rocks!

Mostly Bs: You’re still probably Walter White! Maybe around the end of series one when you get that cool pork pie hat and start acting a bit of a dick by blowing up people’s cars with a freaking service station squeegee.

Mostly Cs: Hey, congratulations! You’re Heisenberg! You Broke Bad after years of emasculation and now you’re a cold hearted murderous ego fuelled maniac insistent on knocking, cranking out blue crank and killing people who get in your way. Or mildly inconvenience you. The DEA are on the way and Gomey has a shotgun! Better call Saul!

Last night, Channel 4 aired Ricky Gervais’ pilot “Derek“. The comedy/drama features Gervais as Derek; a man with learning difficulties who works in an elderly people’s home. There is much discussion over whether it is right for Gervais to play a character with learning difficulties. Is it moral? Is he poking fun at those with [...]

(Yeah, yeah, yeah) A few weeks back, I blogged about switching to a standing desk and I wanted to throw a little update together to share my progress. When researching standing desks, a recurrent theme was to expect discomfort. Some bloggers recommended standing for 15 minutes to start with and extending the standing time slowly. [...]

Are you sitting comfortably? Any office worker chained to their computer for the best part of the day will undoubtably complain of RSI, lower back pain or mysterious cramps and aches that come and go. I am the same. I’ve been working at a desk for nearly 15 years now and I’m convinced that it’s [...]

Last night’s episode of The Secret Millionaire focused its cameras squarely on my home town of Peterborough. Peterborough rapidly expanded in the 70s and 80s by adding ‘townships’. Some of these townships have fallen into disrepair and there are some very unsavoury parts of our city. However, on balance, I’d say that generally Peterborough is [...]

When I was a child, I always wanted to stick a pin into a map of all the places I’d been. Happily, all I have to do is take a photo with my iPhone and a digital pin is stuck in a map for me. How cool is that?

Unless you’ve been walking around with your fingers in your ears while humming “nah-nah-nah” you’ll be aware that Facebook recently announced a major new change to how profiles are viewed and managed. Thanks to a tip off from Tom Ford, I was able to enable a preview of this feature on my own Facebook account [...]

“Pow!” “Thwap!” That’s the sound of Google+ and Facebook slugging it out for our continued patronage. If you’re not a geek then you could be forgiven for not knowing much about Google+. It’s a brand new social medium which takes the best from Twitter and Facebook and rolls into a really flexible “life stream [...]