Seinfeld funny, predictable

By STEVE BARNES Senior writer

Published 1:00 am, Saturday, October 3, 2009

ALBANY — Jerry Seinfeld is, amazingly, 55 years old. He's still thin and fit and possessed of a full head of dark hair. He's energetic, too, continuing to enter the stage to start a show at a run and, when a joke calls for it, lying on the floor, as he did on Friday night before a soldout crowd at the Palace Theatre.

Seinfeld remains a comedy pro, one who dilates his vexations into low-watt obsessive screeds that at some point in each bit get delivered in his signature "What's up with that?" falsetto. He's also often very funny, if rarely insightful. You laugh because you've thought of it, too, whether that "it" is the unwanted ideas that come into your head at inappropriate times or the peculiarity of a prominent feature offered on land-line phones being activated with snigger-inducing "*69."

But as the star-69 example illustrates, Seinfeld is often out of touch, no longer current, using references and jokes that are years out of date. E-mail is the "lowest form for human communication," he complained, seeming unaware of texting. He mentioned iPhones, but only to mock their users as prideful technogeeks, then moments later said, "Why are people on phone machines still telling you to wait for the beep?"

Who says phone machines? Answer: A 55-year-old who can say, as he did at the end of his 75-minute set, "I'm old and I'm rich and I'm tired," meaning he's mostly content to stay home with his kids, ages 8, 6 and 3, eating cereal and watching Elmo.

And yet Seinfeld's observations of human foibles and ridiculousness, and his ability to spin them into rising bubbles of laughter, remains undiminished. His most current reference, about Twitter, prompted this keeper: "Why say a lot of things to a few people when I can say virtually nothing to lots people?" Noting that his octogenarian mother is still driving, perilously, with severely diminished eyesight, he said, "I had her car fitted with a cataract windshield — a 1-foot-thick curved glass prescription window. The head of everyone in it looks huge. It looks like a car full of sports mascots come down the road."

In an extended bit about relationships he said, "Marriage is just two people trying to stay together without saying 'I hate you.' You never say those three words together. You say things like, 'Why is there no scotch tape in this house?' … Instead of 'I could kill you,' you say, 'You're so funny sometimes.'"

None of it feels fresh, edgy or inventive, but it's expertly delivered by a talented vet. That's not nothing.

Seinfeld pal and actor-comedian Tom Papa, currently on screens in "The Informant!" opened with 15 minutes of material similar to Seinfeld's: comfortable and funny. Explaining how he's confused by gender roles these days, he said, "Women are into ultimate fighting and guys are all walking around with frosted tips and Capri pants." He didn't finish the line with a Seinfeldian "What is the deal with that?" He didn't need to.