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30 October 2009

Twiddle thumbde dumb twiddle dumb twiddle dee. I am passing the time as I wait in eager anticipation before I head out tonight! Tonight, I am heading out to my all time favourite place for a night out, Pow! Well it is actually called Mynt lounge, but they call it Pow to, I dunno, spice it up a bit perhaps haha.

Nah, Mynt and Pow are COMPLETELY different nights, Mynt is on Thursdays and Saturday nights, with Pow on Fridays. Mynt is basically the shittest place ever lol, over crowded, you can't even get in unless your a regular... but how the hell do you become a regular if you can't get in in the first place lol. Dumbasses. It also plays crappy 'doof doof' music that I so heavily despise, however to give it one credit, the chicks are hot as ;)

Pow however is basically the complete opposite in a good way. Not so crowded, has a familar and usual crowd (I know at least 20% of the people there lol), and they play alternative music, sweet! I cannot tell you how good it is to hear some Taking Back Sunday, The Used, Story of the Year, Slipknot, Rammstein, and my all time favourite, Blink 182, while your off your face from your 100th beer, surrounded by some of your best mates haha, quite a night indeed!

Seriously how could you not love it, let me paint you a picture! Put your imagination caps on people! Out on the dance floor, beer in hand, its like, actually who knows what time it is in the morning lol, at least 3am, your with like 10 mates, and the DJ pops on some Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody!!! My god you can't get much more epic then that haha, the whole dance floor comes together to form as one, everyone throws their drinks away and runs to join the group, arms around shoulders are locked together to form a circle, and at the top of your lungs in your drunken state, the entire room sings 'HES JUST A POOR BOY, FROM A POOR FAMILY!', which is then followed by the classic head banging and air guitar haha =D Wow, big nights indeed!

It's such a shame I don't to get to hang with my mates very often any more. It pains me to admit that I feel they are slipping away lately. We used to be extremely tight, brothers in every sense of the word. There was myself, Karl, Jason, Peter and Adam. Absolute best mates since year 7, and were for many years until recently. Now I hate Adam, and even though I chat to the other 3 pretty frequently, I rarely get to see them. Yet I know they hang out amongst them selves still... sigh. Really sucks to lose your best friend, and can't even really rely on your other best mates either... and I don't seem to be gaining any new ones either. Sigh.

29 October 2009

Can my day get any worst... hmm don't answer that lol. In a few months time is one event that I have been looking forward to all year. It basically breaths epicness and win, you'd be hard pressed to find so much awesomeness in the one place, the mecha of my gaming calender.... MonsterLan! What is that you may ask? Well if you have to ask such a question, my answer to you is that you are indeed an idiot, however I will answer anyway.

MonsterLan is a gathering of about 200 people at the Geelong Arena, where each brings their own computer. For like $15 you gain entry where you can network with the other 200 people, and from Saturday mid day to Sunday mid day you play games (both for fun and within competitions), swap files (ANY file you can think of, seriously lol) and chat to fellow nerds to your hearts content... damn awesome I know lol =P

Alas, the world mocks me, and for the second time today my hopes and, dare I say, dreams, have been crushed lol. It happens to fall on the weekend that one of my best mates is having his 21st... what are the chances! I proposed the solution that I can skype from MonsterLan to the party, which he replied with 'your an idiot', so I got the feeling he wasn't too keen on that idea lol. Well he is actually having two 21st's, one at his mum's the previous weekend, and then the next weekend one at his dad's house. No Aaron, wheres your loyalty! Damn consciousness, I shall go to both.

I tell you what I've noticed lately (in light of missing Soundwave, and the petrol station incident, and a few other incidents that I haven't blogged about)... is it just me, or do I seem more retarded lately then usual? Seriously I am beginning to wonder! I mentioned this to Sabbi, but she is far too nice to tell me the truth, and said I am being silly. Your biased Sabrina =P My other friend claims he has been retarded lately also, and blames it on the weather. The weather?? But it's summer! The best time of year! I would of thought I would of been at my prime! Then something dawned on me... maybe I am always this retarded, but have only just noticed? Its a possibility lol. Another proposal was that retardness is contagious... I wonder whom I caught it off? Too many candidates to consider =P

Off to dinner tonight with some mates, that should be good. And once again, the weekend is that little bit closer, soooweeeet!

I should probably end this with some line like I usually end my blogs with lol... but it is a long day at work, with 25minutes till home time, my mind is far too sleepy to do so. Today was a great day at work, we spent an hour debating the effects and consequences of time travel, but the conversation quickly became mind boggling, there is just too many things to consider! If I were to go back in time and change some events, would my future self be aware of those events? Cause technically I was there! Although it was before I was born mind you. This is basically how the conversation went lol, great fun!

Omfg... yep that pretty much sums it up. Today I was listening to one of my new favourite bands, Funeral for a Friend. Hmm, I wonder if they are playing at Soundwave festival? You know, Soundwave, that awesome festival that is hosting some awesome bands like Taking Back Sunday, The Devil Wears Prada, All Time Low... oh yeah, did I mention fucking TAKING BACK SUNDAY! Yes indeed, this is the same Soundwave festival that I have been excited about for a few months now, checking the website every now and again, going on and on about to the guys at work.

You'd think I'd be organized and get what I can only assume to be a crucial item for my Soundwave experience... the fucking tickets!!! Now they are sold out! Argghhh!!!

Check eBay, as I was told by many. Great idea people, they're trying to sell them for like $250... I did contemplate it for for the smallest of moments lol. I guess it isn't tooooooo bad. My 'friends' who I was going to go with (the guys I was relying on to inform me when they were going to buy their tickets) aren't going anymore it appears (hence why I didn't hear anything about it lol...). But still!

I did have other friends going at least. Or at the very least, maybe I could be one of those extremely over friendly guys you see at events, where they are standing around by themselves enjoying the event a little too enthusiastically, joining into your convos at random, acting as if they have known you forever, and you think they have just been separated from their own group of friends, but after like 5 hours of them hanging on their own, you start to realize they have indeed come on their own, so you feel sorry for them so you let them join your group for the day, but then you start to realize why no one wanted to go with them in the first place because they are a little eccentric and at times down right strange lol. Yeah, I could be that guy!

Well, hmm, what's my options? Doesn't appear to be any really lol. This sounds as bad as the petrol station incident! Now seriously, is this just bad luck, or do I create these messes lol? I guess this time is my own fault lol... sigh!

28 October 2009

Do you ever have those days where things go wrong... but not just wrong, spectacularly wrong lol. A day where every hour is an opportunity for something new to surprise you, where your scared of leaving your seat in fear of what is still in store for you (because it is never just a one off, it continues for the whole day lol).

Today I woke up at 8.30am, which was fantastic actually. Really got a solid 8 hours sleep which made a huge difference! Only problem there is, I am meant to be awake at 7am lol... out of the house by 7.30am to reach work by about 8.30am, so yeah, the day hasn't quite gone to plan lol. My stupid phone for some reason must be scared to wake me up in the morning, and refuses to play the alarm that has been set, why must you torment me phone? I take good care of you =( My mum, who also must of been scared to wake me, didn't think that it was a problem that I was still in my room at 8.30 as she left for work lol.

Slowly made my way to get ready (if I am already late, I figure I might as well take my time lol), and made my way to work. Hmm low on petrol, sigh, lets get some if I must. The days where I used to run the petrol gauge to the red are past me haha, even though I reckon I could of made it the rest of the way to work! Haha one time I went below the red just to see if you can, it goes way below the red lol, the whole thing is a scam. I put $9 petrol in, cause I wasn't sure how much cash was on my card, but I thought I'd risk, typical. Turns out, I had $0 on my card haha... whoops, what happens now?? I put on my persuasive tone and tried to assess my options to the lady at the counter... she wasn't impressed lol.

Ok, fine, let's hear my options. She goes 'you can get someone to come down and pay, or you can get someone to pay over the phone by credit card'. I stood there for a bit expecting some more viable options to be put forth, turns out that was it lol. 'Well, they aren't very good options, so how about I give you the option of, I leave my drivers licence, and will come back later and pay'. Seemed like a good ultimatum to me lol. She wouldn't bite. I then presented the theory of, what if I just drive away (it was only $9 after all!), she then says 'I can't let you leave, if you do, I will call the police and they will charge you for theft'. What! She is holding me for ransom lol! Is this even legal? By this stage there is a gigantic line out the door, which gave me satisfaction that I was inconveniencing her. It was the least I could do against this KIDNAPPER. I contemplated further about walking away, but didn't want to give her the satisfaction of calling the police. No other options left, time to call dad lol.

Eventually Dad decides he will pay over the phone via credit card (which he was not happy about lol), so I finally got to leave.

How ridiculous! Usually when crap like this happens, I try and take valuable lessons from it. What have I learned from this? Boycott all BP service stations!! I will gladly run my car's fuel gauge to the red (and beyond!) if it means avoiding BP, join me people!

I should mention here how awesome dad was, I can't even count the amount of binds he has gotten me out of haha. Locked keys in the car, lost in the city by myself one Saturday night, overdue bills that were threatening court action, once again he has pulled through =D

By now I am like 2 hours late for work lol, so I go to park at the car park (which is like 1km from work), and I usually take a $2 bus ride to get from car park to work. Well, it's past 10am, and I missed the last bus... I actually seen him drive away as I drove in, so close! So had to walk to work.

The rest of the day consisted of other small incidents... including retarted iTunes being highly retarted, and not burning my music cd properly, one that I was extremely looking forward too for the drive home! Stupid retarted iTunes. Why is it when you try to burn a cd with iTunes, it doesn't give you any progress bar what so ever lol? I click 'burn', then.... nothing, zilch, it shows NO sign that it is doing anything! Well turns out it was burning, just extremely slowly, but I restarted the pc thinking it had froze, so I only got like half of the first song written to the cd lol. Had that on repeat on my drive home... yep, awesome I know.

I am now home, a long day indeed. About to head to the gym soon yay. 2 more days left of work and then the weekend, which definitely can't come any sooner!.

Another day, another ramble, summer is near, the future is bright. Bring on the weekend =D

26 October 2009

I am not sure why I am blogging right this minute, it just sort of hit me that it is what I should be doing at this very minute. Besides, I am at work, what else is there to do lol? =P

I am currently listening to some new music I have never heard before, well not properly anyway. It is a band that I have heard my sister listen to in the past, and although I had only heard a few of their songs (in small pieces as I walked by her room), I had already drawn the conclusion that I did not like them, therefore have avoided them ever since. I have recently expanded my music collection quite considerably, so everyday at work I slowly work my way through them all, often finding songs and bands that I quite enjoy. So of course, I am quite glad to admit I was wrong about them, and am happy to have gained a new band to my list of must-listen to bands.

I guess it shows that the past shouldn't always determine your present or future. There are countless examples, you may have hated a food back in the day, but I bet if you try it again now, you'll find you love it (I used to really hate tuna and eggs, now I can't get enough of them! lol). I try not to let my past control me. Man I have made so many mistakes in the past, far too many indeed. Many are minor, often reversible, but how many have I made that can't be undone, how much have these mistakes cost me?

I was chatting to dad yesterday about my the situation that happened a few months ago. He made good sense as always, damn him lol. Well, to be fair to myself, I already knew what he said was true, but I still took it as an insult for him to say it also, as if it wasn't his right to say so perhaps? Childish I know. We established, well, reconfirmed I guess, that I was as much to blame as they were. I already knew this, as if I didn't, I am not one of those fools that are so narrow minded that they can't even see, or choose not to see, that their own demise is always a consequence of actions they have taken in the past. The exact semantics of which actions I did created what reactions was not established, nor could they ever accurately be, but the general point of it all was that I made just as many mistakes as they did, therefore I am definitely to blame.

Although I still stubbornly stick by that mine weren't as bad lol.

I guess I could carry on with the cliche' line of "we learn from our mistakes, grow from them, and move on", which wouldn't be wrong of course, just I hate when you can sum it all up in such a neat little line like that. Unless your one to listen to your own ramblings, it is far too hard to take the advise as law, as you know you should. I usually listen to myself months after I should of lol, typical.

However, as the line states, we should grow and learn from it. What have I truly learned from it all? It depends on what attitude towards it I want to take. My more favourable attitude of choice (these days at least) would definitely be to attack the whole situation with a cold heart and mind, it makes me feel better inside lol. Sigh... but I know that isn't the right thing to do, it would probably do more damage in the long run. The smarter, bigger choice would obviously be with a fair, open mind. Where did I go wrong, where did they go wrong, what could of been done differently, what would I change if given the chance to do it all again? A handful of questions with a mountain load of possible answers.

Sometimes I worry that the repercussions will follow me into the future, but that is definitely no way to live, a life in fear is no life at all. I am hopeful of the future, putting the past as just that, the past. A lot has changed in such a short amount of time, at this very moment I really am running blindly, at times I think I know the way, most of the time I am pretty sure I am lost lol, but I am moving forward regardless and that's all that matters.

Another ramble to add to the collection, someday I might actually write something constructive =)

22 October 2009

Dare I attempt another blog, after my previous blog which honestly was just plain dreadful lol. I'm not sure why, I am starting to wonder if I ever will know why, but it has scared me that's for sure! Did I only have 8 good blogs in me and no more lol? Haha well, not that I'm proclaiming my blogs were good in the first place, but they were certainly better then the spew I churned out the other day.

This week has been a very trying week indeed... today, it is Thursday, on Monday, I had one of the best days I have had in a very long time. You would know all about it but it is 'under construction' currently, or perhaps indefinitely lol. This glorious Monday was then proceeded by 3 of the worst days I have had in years lol. Surely I could of had 1 good day, and at the very most 1 bad day lol... am I cursed to live a life of 1/4 good days and 3/4 bad! Haha, time will tell.

Not to fear my... 'followers?' lol. Hmm well, they are labeled as 'followers' on the Blogspot website, but I will use that term loosely as I don't think anyone actually follows these blogs haha. Well besides me of course, I am my biggest fan, go me!

Whoops, tangent alert lol, where was I? Yes, not to fear my followers, as I am NOT about to rant about my week (all my depressing blogs are behind me now =P), rather I would like to reflect on how much of a roller coaster life can be. Which let's face it, you couldn't ask for anything less really =). If I am to further stick with my somewhat strange 'life is a theme-park' analogy, how boring would life be if it was a monorail!=P

Regardless of what stage of the roller coaster I am on, I am usually FAR too carefree lol, which used to drive my old best friend nuts haha! I'd always reply in my typical smart ass tone, which he couldn't help but laugh at every time regardless of how dire the situation seemed lol.

"Assignment due in 2 hours... should get a move on" "Hmm... I guess I should start shouldn't I lol."

"Dude, your car is making a funny noise, its 3am... dude why are we driving through a paddock... I can't even see the road anymore... was that a cow!?" "As if I'm lost, Baz knows the way, the moon will guide us haha"

"Aaron watch out for the tram!" "Relax man, I know I am drunk, he would of stopped for me, I was miles away... who wants Maccas!" (He claims I nearly got hit by a tram one time when we were out in the city one night. He goes even further to say that when we tried to get on the tram, the tram driver went mental at us yelling 'that kid is a menace, get him off my tram!'... I apparently argued back claiming it was his driving that was the problem lol... I don't remember this so I am skeptical to count it as fact haha =P)

Memories =) My point? Carefree is the best! But I am starting to wonder if I still have mine. For the first time since... actually, pretty much the first time ever lol, I stressed about my Uni work! Along with other things I stressed about. Have I grown up? Hahaha as if! Phew that was a funny one... grown up, haha... funny. But seriously, I seemed to have lost it, hmm well not lost entirely, but close enough. Have I really fallen in line with society so soon? Am I even fun anymore lol? But alas, after this week, my eyes have opened perhaps.

This year has been I think, the most trying year I have ever had. I turned 21 this year, something I remember looking forward to back when I was a youngling. I always visioned... well I am not sure what I visioned, probably at the time it had something to do with parties, drinking, nights out with the guys, girls, cars lol... maybe I watched too many teen movies like American Pie haha. But I have realized, well starting too at least, that everything always works out in the end, regardless of how bad it may seem at the time. That used to be my moto... hang on, it still is, I say it to Sabbi all the time, I guess I should listen to myself lol.

I remember just after my big situation occurred, wow, I was a mess that's for sure lol. Which I guess is normal, and expected. Now that I look back I guess I reacted exactly how anyone else would of. I went through the typical 'I am never going to be happy again' phase that everyone goes through haha (at least, I hope everyone else does lol... no? Just me?). But I look at how things are now, at this very minute, and I really have no need or desire to change a thing =) Well, one thing I'd like to change, but we will see how that goes =P

I have been at the lowest of lows, and have definitely been on the highest of highs (sometimes even higher then that!)... the point to remember is that there is ALWAYS a high after a low, hence, a roller coaster (the analogy works!). I guess for the first time in a long time, I am actually looking forward to the future =)

In fact, I am looking forward to the future so much, I have it on a list! Well, by future, I mean this summer at least lol. Let me share:

Hmm.. some of them I will blank out =P

- Goals --blanked-New haircut/styleBuy new drum setJam with the bandTattoo-blanked-Record myself drumming lolCreate and host own websiteLearn to surf (for the fun of it)Suit up night (night in the city, in our suits lol)Make t-shirt with my own slogan

Now, I have a habbit (I was positive the word 'habbit' was two t's =P) of writing these lists lol... and the problem I have EVERY summer is that I go through my entire Uni holidays and don't even get half of them done lol. Not this year though, I will be blogging my progress so I can keep track of it more thoroughly... well that's the plan anyway lol.

Hmm, has my 'blogging vibe' returned? Or have I just rambled more then usual tonight lol... I am leaning towards the latter.

I think now is a perfect time to end this =) I could continue on, but I've got the mysterious lives of cats on my mind haha.

18 October 2009

Already, I feel obliged to say sorry. My blogs have been rather... well I might as well just be honest lol, they have been rather depressing lately. This isn't how I usually am in real life if you ever got the chance to meet me lol, I always looked forward to having a blog so I could write down, share with others, and even keep stored for later reflection, all the fun and often completely unbelievable things that seem to happen in my life lol.

In a way I am apologizing to you readers, but also too myself. How do I expect to get back to the old me, if I keep reflecting on recent events? To live positively you need to think positively, true? Is this, right now, at this very minute, while I sit here (in the dark mind you lol, it is good working with computers as I have gained the ability to be able to type without the need to look at the keyboard lol), the life changing realization I have been needing?

Short answer, probably not haha, but it is definitely a step in the right direction! =P

I seem to be setting an unhealthy trend of doing all my blogging late at night lol. I guess this is due to the fact that as I am quieting down to prepare for sleep, that is when I can hear my thoughts the loudest. I was reluctant to blog right now, not just because of the fact that it is 3am, and I really should be getting some sleep if I aim to be able to function at all tomorrow lol, but also for the fact that in my sleepy, hazy state of mind, I won't be able to write as fluidly and meaningfully as I would like to.

I guess, strangely enough, I have actually taken a little pride in my blogging lol, and for some reason feel I have some personal bar I have set that each blog must meet. Wow, what was that? That seems to be a completely new topic altogether, something I had no plans to talk about going into this blog, but I have now through the magic of rambling, have stumbled across. I might take a minute to dive into this issue, as I know it is a big one of mine, and the fact that I have brought it up completely subconsciously I feel it is something that needs addressing.

The topic I am referring to is 'setting yourself a bar'. In other words, you have personally set yourself a certain standard of quality, that unless you meet, you will never be satisfied with yourself no matter how grand and wonderful others may find it. There are countless examples, an artist may feel that their painting is terrible, even though to us we may find it to be an absolute masterpiece. This is a common one, and I would actually expect people to have this, it shows you have pride in your work, also it is a huge self motivational tool that will continue to push your own limits which over time, will reward you with greater knowledge and skill.

However... there is a limit, a line that shouldn't be crossed, in regards to setting your own bar. The aforementioned example is great and even neccessary, but I think my problem is that I set myself bars for too many aspects of my life, which I then fail to reach (which are probably set too high to begin with)... this then brings my mood down as it invokes a sense of failure, which of course would begin a chain reaction of self doubt and frustration. Sure I have high standards in regards to my academic and work life which have definitely fueled me to get where I am today... but why do I need so many other bars also, or at the very least, do they have to be so high?

I really am my own worst enemy, Sabrina (one of my best friends) tells me this all the time. Why do I punish myself if I don't achieve everything I set out for... and I don't mean Uni or work related, I mean aspects like friendships, self image, my clumsiness and forgetfulness. I pride myself on not caring what other people think of me, yet I seem to spend an unhealthy amount of time comparing myself to others. I think I have forgotten to just live, be free. Maybe I have been too stressed these last few months, which has made me forget that life is meant to be lived, not planned. Mistakes are meant to happen, accidents will occur, things that once were will no longer be, and I should just remind myself that all these things, contrary to what I keep telling myself lately, are completely out of my control. Well I am glad that got mentioned, that came completely out of no where lol.

I would like to now mention the main topic that I think was on my mind tonight, I try not to say too much on here as I guess I don't want to scare my followers away lol, but alas, it is on my mind, therefore a blog is a good place to get it out. Then I may be able to sleep lol.

Tonight was saturday night, I had a few plans lined up on where to spend my time and with whom, but of course, nothing in my life is as ever as simple as 'yep see you at 7pm'... there is social politics, and my emotions, that need to be heavily weighed, these days at least. For the time being at least also.

Tonight was my first real chance to face them. Them? Them is what they will be referred as, and nothing more. It has been, actually, I have no idea how long it has been, 3 months perhaps? Who knows, I for one wasn't counting. Them, are good friends with my good friends, therefore ignoring them forever is not an option, besides, I should be over it by now (well, so says everyone), and the fact is I am, well, to be more accurate, I am over them, but not what they did.

Tonight I had the chance to face it all. I had no idea how I would of reacted (which I think is what scared me the most). Everytime I mentioned to someone that I might be coming along, the first thing they all said was 'your not allowed to make a scene'. What, give me some credit guys, as if I would mak.... hmm, then I thought about it, and I guess I do have a small (small is debatable depending on who you ask lol) history of making scenes haha. So, I planned on my best behavior! My good friend Sabrina was going to come with me, and some other best mates of mine would be there also, so I was feeling more confident that I would be ok. Im strong, sure it would probably be a shock at first, maybe I would get there and find that it doesn't bother me at all, who knows, but there was only one way to find out.

Talking to my dad about it, he said to me 'don't carry the resentment with you, you need to put it behind you, otherwise it is just going to tear you up in the end'. He was so right, wise words. The longer I carry this around, the worst. I debated with myself for ages about going, I knew it was the right thing to do.

17 October 2009

Hello fellow blogsters, here is another to add to my very surprisingly frequent amount of blogs I seem to be able to produce lol. I honestly am going into this blog with no aim, objective, debate... basically for no reason, so lets see what happens lol. It is currently 1.29am, I have had a night in by myself, with my good friends Carlton Draft and Pure Blonde, they say hi! I'm pretty tipsy lol, I was super hyper before but is wearing off lol... now I just have a big craving for Maccas!

Sadly the Maccas near my house doesn't serve you unless your in a vehicle (trust me, I tried the other month haha, I was drunk and decided to ride my bike to Maccas at 2am, got to the window, they wouldn't serve me, so I sat at the window singing 'Your the voice try and understand it!'... sadly wasn't enough to get served lol, but riding the streets at 2am was great fun). Hmm, well I have some crab meat with me that I had a few bites of... but I could feel straight away that it didn't mix well with my previously mentioned friends lol.

Hmm, I can't really think about anything else to say lol... I've got Sabrina via skype chatting to me about absolute rubbish haha, which is quite distracting lol. Currently she is telling me that her teacher Paul (who apparently is a funny guy lol) has reminded her to hand in an assignment in a few day time lol.... riveting! =P

A few hours ago I was really hyper (it usually happens when I've got a mix of alcohol, loud music that I can sing along too, and the pressure of an assignment due in a few hours time haha) so I was really hoping to write the blog then as I was full of ideas! But... assignment takes precedence... apparently. I canceled on a night that I was extremely looking forward to for the sake of Uni, it better pay off!

Damn... falling asleep now, what happened to my hyper self! A few hours ago I reckon I could of wrote 5 pages haha, now I barely wrote one! What a disappointing blog lol. Ah well, will post it for now =)

13 October 2009

Do you ever pause and think about life? I do, everyday. I pause to think about the things I am grateful for, as well as the things I am not grateful for, and regrettably spend some time thinking about the things that I hate.

I believe in a lot of things, that things aren't always as they appear, especially when you think you've got it all figured out. I like to think a little highly of myself at times, that I have a slightly heightened sense of the world and people around me. I try my best to understand things, it's how I work, my own peculiar way I seem to posses as I wade my way through the complex weave of life that we all seem to follow. Although we all follow a separate path, something I like to observe and try to unravel.

Why is it that I seem to be able to predict the moves, thoughts, and decisions of some of the close people around me, or even at times complete strangers, yet I can't even guess what I should be doing next? I guess some of you may think 'it is good not knowing what is coming next, or what is the right thing to do, that's what makes life fun, meaningful and forever new', and logically I would have to agree, yet at times like this I agree reluctantly.

The old me would of agreed in a heartbeat, back in the day as they say, the quote I live by. Everything seemed better back then, simpler due to our naivety when we are young, how wrong I was. I look back now, it wasn't that long ago, maybe 3 years ago perhaps. Man I was such a free spirit, the world was at my fingertips, everyday was an adventure, something new to discover. Everything I ever did I did with all my heart, down to every heart beat... loyalty, honesty, hate, love, revenge, dream, achieve, I can barely remember anymore. I was passionate that's for sure.

Perhaps that was a mistake? No, it can't be, I cannot succumb myself to that conclusion. Everything I ever did I did for others, my loyalty, honesty and love towards the people around me were my most proudest assets I possessed, as I could see the people around me were thankful for this, and all I asked in return was for them to do same back to me. I know now that I gave these assets away blindly, something I always thought I was far too clever to fall for.

I would of followed a friend into battle even if I knew it meant death, for the sake of loyalty. Now is that stupid, or the way the world is meant to be?

What is my point? No idea, which I think is the point in itself. I guess I am just looking for some answers, or better yet, some guidance. Who's to blame? Sometimes I think I know who to blame, sometimes I wonder if I am the cause of it all.

I hope the old me returns some day, I thought I glimpsed him walk by the other day, and just knowing he was around rose my spirits to heights they haven't been for a very long time. He looked exactly how I remember him, constant smile, surrounded by friends, a joke or story being told, followed by howls of laughter by all, and the mysterious eyes that you knew were hiding away some new scheme he was planning, regardless of how bold it may be.

But my most favourite feature was his walk. He walked with confidence, with hope. You got the sense that he had absolutely no idea where he was heading, which only seemed to make him walk faster in eager anticipation for what was around the corner.

We all have our moments, I guess this is one of mine. Yet I fear that mine are far too frequent for my liking, something I am working on no doubt. It takes time apparently, as I keep getting told by some of the true friends in my life. It is a shame that there are countless people in my life that mean more to me then they will ever know. Some I have known for half my life, while others are very new, all have changed me in ways they couldn't possibly imagine. Hmm, maybe one day I should thank them all... why do I fear what they will say if I did that?

I have become bitter, something I swore to myself I would never become when I grew older. For now I think hope and honesty are my virtues I should live by, regardless of how that has worked out for me in the past. Hope for the future, honesty to the people around me.

I hate them so much for what they did dammit, I still don't understand it, I don't think I ever will. After everything I ever did for them, I gave them everything, sacrificed so much. It was more then just a friendship, they were my life, a part of my very soul, and they can so readily just walk away from that? Sure things were complex, but I couldn't of predicted what was going to happen even in my worst nightmares... this was just at a whole new level. How can I have gotten everything so terrible wrong, surely I seen it coming? In my apparent 'hightened sense of the world around me', I failed to see what the 2 most closest people to me in the world were thinking.

Well, actually, I did know exactly what they were thinking, I confronted them many times... but again, my loyalty got in the way, and I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I should of learned! How can I say 'my naivety when I was young', it seems to have carried with me to my later, more 'experienced' years of life also, and sadly is a mistake I will probably make again. They lied to my face... how? How could you do that to anyone?... your best friends.

11 October 2009

Haha, wow... just wow. This I admit is a new high for me, but certainly is not out of the ordinary to the normal shenanigans I seem to get up too lol... for people who know me personally, you will agree that I some how have a way of getting myself into crazy binds, but usually some how by the way of even crazier schemes, am able to get myself out of them again lol (most of the time anyways haha).

There are three of them to mention, and this is all just from today. One involves a dog, another a boat, and another is the result of me being cheeky lol.

-Situation one:I'll start with the dog story =) Well, if you read my previous blog (which was posted just this morning actually lol) you will see that for the day I had planned on beach chair, backyard, coke, chips, ipod, art folio and art supplies, to spend the day finishing my art folio which is due tomorrow. This went great by the way =) It was really relaxing, I nearly fell asleep for a while lol, just daydreaming away, leaning back in my chair, ipod in my ears, sun in my face, a good day indeed. This all changed when an unknown dog wandered into my backyard haha! (My parents recently moved so their fences aren't complete yet).

I love dogs (well all animals really), and it was sad to see that this dog looked scared. It had it's tail between its leg, no collar, and was scared to come close to me. I persuaded her over with some of my chips, and before long we became good friends haha. Soon enough she was listening to my commands, and would even follow me around if I called her! (I didn't know her name obviously, so I called her Chelsea lol... she looked like a Chelsea =P). I ended up taking her for a long walk around the area, one in the hope to find her owner, secondly it was just awesome to walk a dog without requiring a leash =D

My parents didn't want a stray dog in our backyard, so kept telling me to bring it out the front and leave it =( I couldn't stand for that of course, so I made sure I was extra friendly to Chelsea as long as possible, giving her some food and water, and patting her stomach (it was sooo funny when she rolled over, wanting a pat on the stomach haha). I lead her to the front yard and I entered though the front door (like my parents had asked). Chelsea obviously liked being here, so she wandered back into the backyard and is at this very minute sleeping on our outdoor couch haha! =D

Note: Tomorrow we will put up some flyers and report her found, in the hope that her owners (if they are looking for her) will find her. But in the mean time we will gladly keep her around =)

-Situation two:Now onto situation number two lol. My friend Josh and I have been trying to buy a boat off Ebay for a few weeks now (it was kind of spur of the moment really lol, I can't even remember how we got onto trying to buy one). Anyways we have been bidding for a while now but continue to get outbidded, but today we were looking like we were in for a good chance to win!

We were about two hours away from winning the boat, Josh and I were dicussing some details, this is where it gets messy lol, let me give you a breakdown of how the conversation went:

Me: Awesome it looks like we might actually win!Josh: Yeah can't wait, it is a four hour drive to pick it up but its worth it.Me: Yeah i'm fine with that, will consider it a small road trip lol. So we taking it back to your house yeah?Josh: Umm no, I thought we were taking it back to yours?Me: lol no, there is no room at my parents house, and I am moving out of my rent house soon.

Can you guess where the problem occurred lol... I am positive we had decided to keep it at his, but oh well. Now, we had put a bid at $500... and still winning by a long shot so we were desperately hoping that someone would out bid us. The conclusion... say hello to my brand new boat that we have no idea where we are going to store lmao =D

Well.. guess we will have to figure something out lol.

Situation 3:I will have to do a little back story explanation first before you will understand this story. My name is Aaron (hmm you think I would of introduced myself in my first blog lol...) and I have a good friend named Sabrina. Now Sabbi has a friend called Cat who (and this is from Sabbi's mouth not mine, I don't know Cat very much) is pretty annoying and is difficult to remain friends with at times, thus, Cat isn't invited out to every social gathering Sabrina and her friends organize. Cat has realized from time to time that she has been excluded from social gatherings, and has reportedly at times gotten extremely hostile towards Sabrina and friends because of her feelings of being excluded from the group.

Now, for this week, Sabrina and I have traded phones lol (see Sabrina's blog for details here), but Cat doesn't know that I have Sabrina's phone for the week. Also keep in mind that this Monday, Sabrina is meeting some friends for lunch (friends who Cat know, but Cat isn't invited).

Cat sms'd Sabrina (who is really me) tonight, asking Sabrina if she can visit her NEXT Monday. I went to ask Sabrina what to reply, but I accidentally said 'Cat wants to see you THIS Monday' (which is the day of her lunch with friends). Sabrina, knowing she is meeting friends for lunch, said 'Say I can see her from 8am to 12pm'.

I replied to Cat with 'Yeah sure, what time?'. Cat replies with 'About 9am, do I meet at your house?'.

Now, here is where I thought I would be cheeky, I asked Sabrina via msn if Cat was coming THIS Monday...now I was referring to if Cat was invited to the lunch (which she wasn't), which Sabrina replied with 'yes she is' thinking I was referring to her coming to visit her NEXT Monday. (which, I had mistaking said that Cat wanted to see her THIS Monday, the day of the lunch, not NEXT Monday).

So, from that answer from Sabrina, I thought that Cat had been invited to the lunch haha!

So to be cheeky I replied to Cat 'Yep 9am is good. Also this Monday when you see me, when I am standing with everyone, run up and give me a BIG hug!' Obviously I didn't tell Sabrina I had sent this part hehe =P

My plan was that Cat would run up and give Sabrina a big hug (Cat is about 3 times the size of Sabrina lol),

Sabrina and friends would be 'wtf, why you hugging Sabrina??'

Cat would reply with 'what you mean, Sabrina told me to in her sms!'

Sabrina would be 'no I didn....oh' and realize that I must of said something in the sms haha!

Now... because of the mix-up between the Mondays, Cat wasn't invited to this lunch, so obviously me saying things in the message to Cat like 'when I see you this Monday' and 'in front of everyone' isn't going to make much sense to her lol.

Cat replies to me 'See me this Monday? What's on Monday? Who is everyone?' I read the reply a few times and then it dawned on me what had occurred! Haha oops! Uh oh, Cat now knows something is on this Monday! I confess to Sabrina my... accident lol (through tears of laughter mind you haha!), and I came up with a solution.

I merely reply to Cat with 'Oh, I thought you wanted to see me this Monday, I mis-read. Yep next Monday sounds good. Oh I meant everyone as in my Uni friends' haha crisis adverted =D So everyone at Sabrina's Uni next week, expect to see a big crazy girl give Sabrina a hug haha.

So that was day one of having Sabrina's phone, can't wait for what the rest of the week has in store haha!

And that my friends has all happened just today lol... I don't know how I get myself into these, and while at times stuff like this has caused me great pain and confusion, the variety and funny stories it adds to my life is just irreplaceable and I really couldn't live any other way haha =D

It is a bit of a problem when you decide to get a blog, but then don't even know what to write on it lol. I for some reason before I had a blog, could foresee myself that when I actually do get a blog, I would be easily be able to fill it up with pages upon pages lol.

Hmm, I say the word 'lol' too much, I guess that's a bad habbit you pick up from being on computers too much... damn, I was about to finish that sentence with a 'lol' haha. Ah well, it gets my point across lol =P

Getting back to my... topic, I guess I will just need to find my own style, flow, that the more experienced bloggers (is that the right word?) seem to have, and it doesn't help that the only pieces I write these days are either reports, or my wild ramblings lol. Maybe I should close my eyes and type away, open them, and see what comes out the other end.

I have just now decided to not try to make it flow or anything, but rather just be me =) So, good luck reading lol.

Haha I crack myself up, I just noticed how random I am at times... as I am writing this I have music playing, and I started off with a bit of Rob Zombie (Scum of the Earth anyone? =D) and now I have moved onto Taylor Swift (yes I admit it, I am a massive fan lol). But you couldn't get music any further apart! I think now some Taking Back Sunday - Error: Operator is in order, a band that I have only recently gotten really into since my friend gave me the albums.

I really love my beach chair, it is pretty fancy and futuristic, has a little fold out thing for a foot rest attached to the chair! Only cost me $5 too lol.. was meant to be $15 but the girl at the checkout, who looked like she was 10 years old, scanned it wrong, so I just paid and walked away lol. Today here is my plan, beach chair, backyard, coke, chips, ipod, sketchbook, drawing supplies, finish art folio which is due tomorrow. Shame that is isn't as sunny as yesterday though! Just for the record, I am not a proper art student, nor am I good at art (very very far from it lol), I am actually an IT graduate taking an Art unit in my spare elective, purely for the fun of trying something completely new =)

Hmm, speaking of art folio, I guess I should actually go do it lol. I didn't do none what so ever yesterday, instead I opted to help my parents in the garden lol... wow thats terrible, I rather help in the garden then sit down and do my assignments! See my previous blog for more evidence of my extreme case of 'Procrastinate-itis' lol. (It is a real condition I swear, with no known cure lol).

I have come to the end of my first meaningful blog, I guess I should feel a sense of accomplishment lol.

About Me

I am mature, wise, and responsible. Hmm, scratch that. I am young, crazy and erratic. I have recently returned from 1 year spent traveling America, with travel being my biggest passion.
On this blog is anything that enters my life or mind, a running documentary of achievements, events, worries, thoughts, dreams and plans, both short and long-term.
I also love blogs.