Discussing fertility issues could help both sisters

Tuesday

Mar 19, 2013 at 12:01 AMMar 19, 2013 at 12:31 PM

Dear Abby: I'm in my early 20s, happily married and financially secure. My husband and I have been discussing having children. My problem is that my sister has been trying to start a family for three years, to no avail because she has a medical condition.

Dear Abby: I’m in my early 20s, happily married and financially secure. My husband and I have been discussing having children.

My problem is that my sister has been trying to start a family for three years, to no avail because she has a medical condition.

These issues run in our family, and there is a 75 percent chance that I will have the same problem.

Should I talk to my sister about my trying to get pregnant, or wait until I’m pregnant and break the news to her then?

Because I might have the same problem she is having, I don’t want to discuss something with her that may never happen. Any thoughts?

— Don’t Want to Hurt Her

Dear Don’t: News that you are pregnant would be more of a jolt to her than hearing that you’re trying. I see no reason to keep this a secret from your sister. Because problems conceiving run in your family, talking about it might be helpful to both of you.

If you do become pregnant, she might want to consult your doctor. If it doesn’t happen, the two of you can give each other emotional support.

Dear Abby: After 20 years of marriage, I am again in the dating world.

What happened to the days when men would open doors, kiss your cheek or try to impress you by sending flowers.

Nowadays, the guys expect me to impress them, call them first, etc.

I have been on numerous dates, and out of all of them, only one man acted like an old-school gentleman.

What are your thoughts?

— New to the Dating World

Dear New: Old-fashioned romance started dying in the late 1960s and early ’70s. As women became more aggressive, men became more passive.

?

Dear Abby: You recently referred to someone as a “controlling, slave-driving witch.” A lot of people in the Wiccan community, practitioners of Wicca, use the term witch with positive connotations. There are several slur words that I heard growing up that I would never dream of using these days because of how society has changed. Please help to spread the word.

It took years of fighting the system, but we are now recognized by the Veterans Administration and included on headstones with other religious symbols.

And, by the way, in our religion, the word warlock is an insult that means “oath breaker.” Witch is a gender-neutral name.

— Proud Male Witch and Veteran

Dear Proud Male Witch and Veteran: I hope that you and other members of the Wiccan religion will forgive my lapse, which was made out of ignorance.