Liverpool Lullaby (or, The Mucky Kid)

Oh you are a mucky kid,
Dirty as a dustbin lid.
When he hears the things you did,
You'll gerra belt from your Dad.
Oh you have your father's nose,
So crimson in the dark it glows,
If you're not asleep when the boozers close,
You'll gerra belt from your Dad.

You look so scruffy lying dur
Strawberry-jam tats in yer 'air,
Though in the world you haven't a care
And I have got so many.
It's quite a struggle every day
Living on your father's pay,
The bugger drinks it all away
And leaves me without any.

Although we have no silver spoon,
Better days are coming soon
Now Nelly's working at the Lune
And she gets paid on Friday.
Perhaps one day we'll have a splash,
When Littlewoods provide the cash,
We'll get a house in Knotty Ash
And buy your Dad a brewery.

Oh you are a mucky kid,
Dirty as a dustbin lid.
When he hears the things you did
You'll gerra belt from your Dad.
Oh you have your father's face,
You're growing up a real hard case,
But there's no one can take your place,
.... Go fast asleep for yer Mammy.

Notes

Cilla Black's recording of my industrial-strength lullaby reached the UK
hit parade, coupled with Conversations. She still gets many requests to
sing the Mucky Kid song!

Many other artists have recorded this number including
Jacquie and Bridie, and Judy Collins(In My Life, Elektra 74027-2).

I have made a pathetic attempt to indicate the "proper" Scouse
pronunciation. Thus, "there" is written "dur." However, no
orthographic tricks, short of the extended IPA, can do justice
to the Merseyside vowels and phlegmatic fricatives.
It's interesting to note that Liverpool-bred Cilla Black
sings "beggar," while US-born Judy Collins offers the original,
uncensored "bugger." Cilla also uses the popular diminutive
for "Dad": "Da'".