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The old bail, "Abort, Retry, Fail" never worked for me. I found that inserting a slice of Kraft american cheese in the floppy drive usually improved things.

I don't know if it's true or not, but I've heard that Windows XP now comes with a six pack and a sample of Zanax.

I use five different firewalls -- not that I'm paranoid or anything -- but, now when I boot, the five of 'em duke it out to be in charge. I finally set them up to take turns Mon-Fri, and on weekends I let the parrot keep an eye on traffic. He squawks whenever the hit window pops up. Pretty cool, huh?