Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The boy has done nothing but eat the past two days. Yay! That's one less box I have to pack, but I am seriously ready to buy the child a feed bag. If I hear one more "Mommy, I'm hungry" I may just drop him off at Golden Corral and come back at closing time.

And then there is tonight.

As I was trying to get the girl to brush her teeth, I noticed a certain someone stock piling cheesy poofs in his pull up.

Really, how is one to respond to that?

"Sweet heart, no cheesy poofs in your pants please."

And I'm pretty sure a good mom would have showered him down so that he would not have had to sleep in cheesy crumb goodness all night, but I'm just too tired for all that. A little wet wipe magic and he was good as new.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Before I start to get hate mail from Aimee and my sister, I'm just going to throw it out there that I'm not going to post much of anything this week. Life here is in a moderate state of chaos and I can't be expected to write it all down.

If you need to be updated, just reread this post.

My house looks like a bomb went off.

We've collected way too much junk during our 10 years of being together.

My advice to new parents is to just give your child a new cardboard box every three months. You will save thousands and three months is the average life cycle for all of the junk the baby industry insists will make your life easier if you own it.

The heat finally moved out of our area (THANK GOD) so this place is no longer like a sauna.

I cannot STAND moving.

Yesterday, after packing for a good couple of hours, Mooka came into the room, make up kit in tow and said, "You know, you might look a little better with some lip gloss."

I just stopped an starred at her.

After getting spruced up, she stood back and looked at me, "There, now you look like a princess."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Note – If you are part of the majority, you will probably disagree with everything in this post.

It’s all over the media today.

The big announcement.

I haven’t watched the show for several years and gave up celebrity gossip months ago, but yet I still decided to watch.

Not because I wanted to watch another marriage bite the dust, but because I was hoping for them.

It’s completely disgusting to hear all the comments about “Like we didn’t see THAT coming.” I watched, because I thought maybe, just maybe, they would announce that they were going to get help. And then everyone today would be saying “WOW, I really didn’t see that coming.” It’s like all of the television viewers just wanted to watch the train plow into the brick wall.

But no, they took the selfish route.

This is a topic that is very real in my life. I know I am surrounded by people who constantly disagree with me when I say I choose to make marriage work for the sake of my kids. Argue as you would like, but it’s my life.

The thing I’ve learned about marriage is that it is a selfless commitment.

Sure, I think my husband is lazy (most of the time – he’s trying). And yep, I’m a control freak and rude 70% of the time (I’m trying)And no, it’s not easy.And yes, there are days, weeks, months where I’m ready to throw in the towel (or pick up the baseball bat.)And yes, I’d love to be able to go get my nails done rather than dispense 500 sippy cups of juice on a Saturday. And yeah, A. would love to be able to buy a 75 inch television rather than pay for daycare.

But WE, made a choice. WE have two amazing little lives that WE were CHOSEN to raise. So regardless of what comes our way, WE have to put our own selfish desires aside and figure out how to make it work.

It seems like we are in the minority when it comes to this mentality anymore. Anytime we have a rough patch, the advice I’m given is leave. The advice all of the broken families get is leave.

Well, what about staying?What about trying to work out your differences?What about trying to focus on someone other than yourself?

It makes me so angry when I hear things like “I’m only 32, I still have my life ahead of me.” If you call chasing tail making a life for yourself, then yeah, you’ve got the rejection, loneliness and uncertainty to look forward to. Enjoy.

It made me even madder when it was said "We want what's best for the kids." Really? What's best for the kids is for the parents to grow up and start seeing beyond the end of their own noses. Kids need loving families. End of story.

This family has a ridiculous amount of money and could have paid for the best family counselors available. But the show didn’t take that route, just announce the separation take a commercial and announce the divorce.

Monday, June 22, 2009

We spent our Father’s Day weekend reenacting the television show “Survivor”.

Only we weren’t on an exotic island, we were stuck in our house.

And even though we were each voted out of the tribe on several different occasions, none of us actually left.

You see, our A/C blew up on Saturday morning, just in time for 100 degree weather. Since we move in 10 days, there really aren’t funds, need, desire to drop several thousand dollars to get it fixed.

So Saturday, we spent the day trying to not kill each other laying in front of fans. Sunday, I knew at least one of us would spontaneously combust if we didn’t do something. We broke down and bought a small window unit.

Last night, the four of us, a couple of dogs and a tiny A/C held up in one bedroom in our 3000 square foot abode.

Thank GOD – A. and the kids are gone this week, which leaves me to pack up our hot box and get things ready for the move next week.

At the whole thing is just becoming funny. It’s like I’m living in the movie “The Money Pit”.

In fact, I woke up this morning and had this reaction when I discovered that our pool had drained itself during the night.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

You see, I have always been a fickle person. I am always curious about what else is out there and I want the next best thing. I also must be in control at all times. Both have lead me down some very bad paths. And while my life on the outside looks to be pretty peachy, I definitely recognize now that I have spent the past 12 months in a state of wilderness both with managing my finances to my relationship with my husband.

I have spent many hours in the past year trying to figure out what my next step. Many hours crying because my life wasn't turning out the way I wanted it to. Many hours just feeling lost.

But I still refused to surrender or admit that I had any real issues to deal with.

Within the past 3 months, I have been trying to not focus on what I don't have but appreciate the things I do have. And it's been during the past 3 months, that I have been able to put aside my pride and ask God for help.

And then I began to recognize the wilderness.

Without going into all of the details here, I'll try to sum it up. For the past 30 days, I had no idea where we would be living after July 1. We purchased our current home and really got in over our heads. The home sold but not without some painful lessons learned along the way. In the past 60 days, my husband had two job offers literally slip away. Essentially, as soon as I handed it over to God to deal with, things got really bad. For someone who normally has every detail planned out, living in a state of uncertainty has been a tough battle for me to face.

So, for the past 30 days, I have tried to continually focus on faith. And let me tell you, it has not been easy. But, I'm still believing.

And while I have been learning, God has kept His promises...14 days ago, A. started a job that is significantly better than the two that slipped away.10 days ago, we were led to the perfect house for us and yesterday I completed the paperwork to move.

I know that I will continue to grow as a wife, mother and person. Sometimes, we just have to leave our little happy place to learn those life lessons that help us grow.

9 AM (35) discover that there are waffles stuck to the dining room wall and somehow son has managed to spray perfume in his hair. Shower children and self. Notice self in the mirror and wonder what the heck happened to my body. Could stand to lose 80 lbs. (25) Wake up and notice self in the mirror. Could stand to lose 10 lbs. Call to make tanning appointment.

9:30 AM (35) head to church (25) head back to bed.

11 AM (35) get inflated confidence and decide to take the children our for lunch (25) head out to tanning appointment.

11:10 AM (35) remember that taking the children to lunch is the worst.idea.ever. (25) remember that I need to get some more thread to finish up the snake skin pants that I have sewn for myself to wear out to the club at night.

1 PM (35) return home and beg the children to let me take a nap (25) think about taking a nap before I go out tonight.

1:30 (35) bribe children with candy for a 30 minute nap (25) head to a quiet little sandwich shop with my sister for lunch.

2 PM (35) begin pulling hair out because I’m so tired (25) pick up fabulous wigs to wear out to the club.

2:30 (35) head to basement to pack more boxes (25) head back to bed.

5 PM (35) make pb&j for dinner (25) make a batch of margaritas.

6 PM (35) take children to VBS and consider taking a nap in my mini-van for 2 hours in the parking lot (25) make sure my fancy sports car is cleaned out for rolling up to the club.

8 PM (35) retrieve children and head home, noticing in the car on the ride home that something has thrown up on my pants sometime between 9 AM and 8 PM (25) pace myself on the drinking because I don’t want to throw up between 1 AM – 5 AM.

Friday, June 12, 2009

For the past 6 months, Baby Bear came home from school and always had a story to share about the day he had with Salmon. I never stopped to question the child's name, because who am I to stifle freedom of expression. I also assumed Salmon was a boy because most of the stories were prompted by me asking, why did you take off your shoes and run in the mud? or do you just eat dirt all day long?

Well, last week I got to meet Salmon.

And well, her name isn't Salmon. BB just has a unique way of pronouncing her name.

Her mom and I were talking and she told me how every day "Salmon" comes home from school with stories about how her and BB went digging for worms, bugs, or other assorted creepy crawlies.

Given his tight knit friendship with his sister, I'm really not surprised that his best buddy is a girl. And in his eyes, I'm sure she's that much cooler than his sister, because she likes bugs.