Disney-MGM No More!

On January 7, Disney-MGM Studios will officially change its name to Disney’s Hollywood Studios, much to the pleasure of those who dislike hyphenated theme-park names. The name change is necessary because MGM has decided not to renew its branding contract with Disney. Although some analysts believe that this is because MGM is not pleased with the $1/day contract rate then Disney CEO Michael Eisner blackmailed them into, a Disney insider said it is more likely “because MGM is just a bunch of big meany jerko jerks.”

When questioned about why Disney’s Hollywood Studios was chosen as the park’s new name, Disney’s press correspondent corresponded, “It’s because the only other possible alternative, MGM’s Hollywood Studios, did not test market as well.”

In addition to switching signage, Disney will have to make many more subtle changes to the park, in keeping with its new image. For example, all the animatronic figures in The Great Movie Ride will now wear Muppet masks, and the title character in the Indiana Jones Stunt Show will be portrayed by Kim Possible.