My grandmother once told me, there’s a reason they don’t have boxing in the Special Olympics. She left it at that. It took me nearly two decades to figure out what she meant. And no, I’m not telling you. You’ve got nineteen years to beat me.

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt fights through a raging case of cerebral herpes as we discuss CHRISSY TEIGEN breasts as dutiful mother and attention whore, SUGE KNIGHT denied request for an obvious escape attempt, laugh at KAT VON D for being a vegan anti-vaxxer tattoo artist, wonder aloud if that dude from Riverdale who wrote fat jokes about chicks on Twitter back in 2012 will ever work again, discuss the type of guy who never carries cash, and wonder if Russian Burger King doesn’t have the right idea urging their native ladies to ingest the semen of World Cup stars from around the world.

And in our Panties in a Bunch bonus segment this week, EXCLUSIVELY FOR OUR PATREON SUBSCRIBERS, I provide an explanation of the creepy email CHRIS HARDWICK sent me while dating CHLOE DYKSTRA, though also why I don’t think being creepy ought to cost you your job.