Sex video plan for lazy pandas

Beijing: The reproductive problems of pandas stem not from an inability to mate, nor from mating too quickly - but from not being interested in sex, prompting moves to show them instructional videos, state media reported at the weekend.

A Chinese panda research centre was refusing numerous offers from pharmaceutical companies to help preserve the country's living "national treasure" by providing donations of Viagra and home-grown aphrodisiacs, the Beijing Youth Daily reported.

"Research has shown that more than 60 per cent of mature pandas [at the centre] have not shown any signs of being aroused," the report said.

"Normal pandas can become pregnant ... after mating periods as short as 21 seconds."

Mr Zhang Hemin, in charge of the Wolong panda research centre in south-western Sichuan province, was quoted as saying that efforts were being made to induce the pandas to mate naturally by improving their environment and nutritional conditions.

"If the pandas are not observed mating, the utmost efforts are made to arouse their natural sexual instincts, such as by showing them 'mating videos'," the report said.

The report added that due to pandas' poor reproductive abilities the Wolong centre and another panda centre in the Sichuan provincial capital of Chengdu had set up panda sperm banks.

Agence France-Presse

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Comment:
It occurs to me that to procure a panda mating video one must first induce two amorous pandas to participate. This development, possibly with international ramifications, is a perplexing conundrum.

Answers

NEW on VHS only $85.99. See hot three-way panda action just the way
you like it. If you like hot panda sex, go to your local adult video
store and rent PANDA-MOANIUM, guaranteed to get your pandas humping
and thrusting with wanton abandon.

I wonder if the pandas will be able to "see" it. SOME animals [dogs
for instance] can't see the images on film. Their eyes can only
discern 3-dimensional objects. Oh well, the pandas can always wear
those special glasses, assuming the videos are 3-D ready.