fuckheads no matter what-we'll paste ' L ' , " Th d . d an to em. e rest nee gul ance, and Dykstra, who will write a regular column called "The Game of Life," is prepared to give it. "This will be the world's best magazine," he said. As proof of the worthiness of his cause, he brought up his old Phillies teammate Pete Incaviglia: "Remem- ber the big, burly guy? Best five-o'clock hitter in baseball history. Allergic to leather. Allergic to leather." (Transla- tion: Incaviglia could hit the ball a mile in batting practice, and was no good with a glove.) "Inky called me this win- ter, and he asked me for a job. And I felt bad-said, 'Come on down.' I showed him our business plan, and he said, Where was that when I was play- ing?'" (Incaviglia, who now manages a minor-league team in Texas, later told me, "Lenny's idea is the most brilliant, best idea I've ever heard in my life. It's mind -boggling.") Dykstrà s business plan extends be- yond the magazine. 'We're creating a life style!" he said, and emphasized that he wanted to encourage athletes in their prime to set aside a half-million dollars a year in a customized retirement ac- count, thereby insuring "recurring cash flow" for life. He turned over a piece of paper and drew a small circle, inside which he wrote the letters "TPC," for The Players Club. Next, he drew a larger circle around it and began connecting the two circles with spokes: "building bridges," as he put it. At the end of the spokes, he wrote things like "annuity," ". . "" I " d " prIvate Jets, rea estate, an con- cierge." That last one, he said, was for "when you forgot your wife's birthday, and you're in the on -deck circle. You go, 'Oh, no! Batboy, go call the concierge service for The Players Club. Tell him to get flowers for my wife, and tell her I love her.'" He had already asked two of the butlers at the St. Regis to come work for him. Dykstra hadn't yet finished his fries, but he glanced at his watch and jumped. "Oh, shit, I got to go," he said. "Dude, oh my God, take a ride with me." He was halfway to the door before he said, to no one in particular, "Put that on my bill." Outside, a car was waiting, and Dykstra instructed the driver to take us to Time, Inc. "It's fun hanging with I Q me, right?" he said. "I got to meet this I Ii, Lenny Dykstra's publishing venture will offer financial guidance to pro athletes. Sports Illustratedwriter. He might be a guy that might want to do some writ- ing for us." T he Players Club will be published monthly, and will be sent, free, to active professionals in each of ten sports, along with their agents, and club and league officials, for a total circulation of " - . ' ,-, r.... .. . . ,- 0 .....' ", "" 'iÄ'i . ' _. .. /. II, . ;. - 't / \ ,I I I I I I i . . j twenty thousand. It will be "photo- graphically lush," according to its editor, Randall Lane, and, to the extent possi- bl " ". b th1 e, peer to peer -wrItten y a etes. (The Utah Jazz forward Kyle Korver on video games, for instance, and the old Mets captain Keith Hernandez as food critic.) "It's not just about the bling and the toys, though there's some of that," Lane told me. "There are all these hard- luck stories. We're going to educate these guys to take advantage of this windfall. 'Keep Living the Dream,' that's our working slogan." Lane, who was once responsible for assembling Forbes's annual list of top-earning athletes, is now the president of Doubledown Media, which publishes niche maga- zines for the extremely wealthy: Trader - .,: } t <: . \ ' \ " \ \ \ . l :1 . ,', ,\\ , . .....4 --;:; \ .......... ..'1 ____ - - .-: - .,, "-... Monthly, Dealmaker, Corporate Leader, Private Air, and the Cigar Report. Last year, Dykstra bought some real estate worthy of the Doubledown pedi- gree: Wayne Gretzky's old house in Thousand Oaks, California. He lives there with his wife, Terri, their sons Cut- ter (eighteen) and Luke (twelve), and their golden retriever, Butch. To call it a house is, I suppose, misleading, as there THE NEW YORKER, MARCH 24, 2008 31