Tony Stark Speaks on Struggle with Anemia

By Samdaw Falconson on April 11, 2019

In a revealing new interview spotlighting the playboy billionaire’s personal life, Tony Stark recently described his struggle with iron deficiency.

The former defense contractor and frontman for the superhero team known as the Avengers said his condition was diagnosed shortly after returning from his detainment in the Afghanistan cave where he developed the prototype for his now iconic Iron Man suit.

“I had other health problems to deal with,” Mr. Stark stated in the interview, “and I was already bad at dealing with those issues. I didn’t want to address this new thing when it came up, so I just pushed it to the back of my mind.”

Over time, however, Mr. Stark said he found himself becoming fatigued easier than he had before. He assumed at first it was a cardiovascular reaction to the shrapnel threatening to invade his heart. While the shrapnel did play a role, it turned out not to be related to his heart.

“After extensive tests and consultations with various doctors, they determined that lead from the shrapnel in my chest was interfering with my body’s ability to make red blood cells,” Mr. Stark said. “Of course, I didn’t want to remove the shrapnel right away, because I knew leaving it in there for as long as possible would drive me to some deep introspection and lead to a life-altering character decision that was coming down the pike in a couple years.”

On top of the lack of hemoglobin production, Mr. Stark took a lot of injuries as part of his gig as one of the most high-profile superheroes on Earth, resulting in a second form of the condition known as traumatic hemolytic anemia.

The revelation of his condition has led to predictable reactions on both social media and talk shows. “Why not just lick your suit?” joked one twit, who apparently did not realize that Iron Man suits are not actually made of iron, but rather a titanium-gold alloy (in most cases).

Mr. Stark said that since his diagnosis, he has been on a strict iron-rich diet in an attempt to overcome his conditions and stay healthy enough to keep fighting threats against the Earth. He has also added special anemia-specific routines to the AI programs that monitor his vital signs while wearing the suit.

When asked if he had any last words, Mr. Stark ended the interview by looking directly at the camera and pausing a moment before saying: