Hoisted by His Own Patois

As you know, Michael Aquino has severed his connection with the Church of Satan. I have been increasingly aware that Mr. Aquino has become too large for his trousers, and have attempted to subdue him as tactfully as possible. In his recent packet to you, on page 2 of his letter of June 10, paragraph 3, he reproaches authoritarian whim and belief of infallibility. Two pages later, on page 4, paragraph 3, he himself assumes not only human infallibility, but spiritual and supernatural as well. He has relieved me of an “Infernal Mandate” which I have never claimed to hold.

I have freely admitted that I assumed my office of High Priest because at the time there was no one else who did. The titles “Infernal Empire”, “Exarch of Hell”, etc., are symbolic, not literal.

The Church of Satan is… dedicated to rational self-interest, indulgence, and a glorification of material and carnal elements.”

Magic is a way of life, not a divine right uniquely assumed by Mr. Aquino, or myself either. Let those who can, do. The Church of Satan is an organization dedicated to rational self-interest, indulgence, and a glorification of material and carnal elements. I held these beliefs in the beginning as I do now. If others re-interpret my organization and philosophy into a fundamental kind of supernaturalism, it stems from their needs to do so.

The infallible Mr. Aquino has, by virtue of “personal integrity”, paper pomposity, and cant, tried to mislead you in accordance with his own rigidly fixed moral code. He has exalted himself as the Great White Hope of Satanism, which seems to me a contradiction in terms. In wishing to save you from my evil and treacherous machinations, he forgets that saviors are no longer much in demand, especially among Satanists. I don’t wish to save anyone from anything and have said so in the Satanic Bible. Let each person be his or her own redeemer.

Judging from initial response to Mr. Aquino’s packet, the vast majority of recipients have reaffirmed their alliance with the Church of Satan. Response has been most gratifying and will not be forgotten. His behavior has been described by communicants as: "petty", "priggish", "raging", "puritanical", "bitchy", "disgusting", "foppish", "overbearing", "unimaginative", "lacking perception", "autistic", etc.—the list is long and varied, but unanimous on certain points.

I have been increasingly dissatisfied with the Cloven Hoof. Had I not frequently intervened, it would have served as nothing more than a vehicle for Mr. Aquino. Many issues were delayed because I had instructed him to print items which he altered both in content and meaning. The only reason he was not bounced long ago is because of my affection for him and curable optimism. Optimism that he would temper his growing self-righteousness and revert to the capable and productive associate he once was. Optimism that he would remain secure without adding any new certificates to his wall full of them. And optimistic that he would accept the growing numbers of competent candidates for degrees equalling his own, without the undisguised contempt he conveyed toward them.

Despite what you have been led to believe, Michael Aquino has presumed sovereignty in excess of his actual station. He is one of many, and he knows it. He is not one of the Nine, as some of you who read this know; but not wishing to burst anyone’s balloon, I have watched him toss the term about like a medicine ball.

If others re-interpret my organization and philosophy into a fundamental kind of supernaturalism, it stems from their needs to do so.”

Mr. Aquino is an impeccable and irrepressible letter-writer and excelled at test-passing and institutionalized paper work. He also ingratiated himself with me, staked me to some fine meals, bought beautiful gifts, and … attained his desired degrees. Now he sits, while others are qualifying for those degrees by the same—and other—means, and froths. Because of his impending condition, he was gradually cut off from both my own and Church developments. His mailing list has always been kept fractional for obvious security reasons, now emphatically illustrated. The type of "caucus race" he has criticized in the past is now consuming him.

I have never laid claim to sainthood, and I revel in whatever pleasures I am fortunate to receive. I’ll accept whatever I can get and enjoy it to the fullest. Insofar as my personal integrity is concerned, that is for others to decide. An empty barrel makes the most noise.

Don’t be fooled by Mr. Aquino’s obsession with material contributions as a means towards elevation. He has isolated it from other alternatives and beaten you over the head with it. Degrees within the Church of Satan are not only valid, but available to worthwhile persons by more diverse means than ever before. Despite Mr. Aquino’s withdrawal of my divine power to do so, I am running this outfit and am lawfully entitled to bestow degrees upon whomever I choose, whenever I choose to do so.

As for the Organization, it is progressing according to plan (including schism). Empirical evidence should confirm that. If you want to split, go ahead. I won’t soft-soap you into thinking that there are no hard feelings, because there sure as Hell will be. But I’ll soon get over them. I have too much to do. That’s all I have to say.

Rege Satanas!

Anton Szandor LaVey

In 1975, Michael Aquino was a fourth degree member of the Church of Satan and the editor of The Cloven Hoof, the Church of Satan’s periodical newsletter. His personal beliefs had been moving towards an overt form of theism in opposition to the atheism of the Church of Satan. After a dispute regarding a Hoof article by Anton LaVey dealing with means for hierarchical elevation—which LaVey based on worldly, not spiritual, achievements—Aquino resigned, sending out a packet via postal mail to people on his mailing list stating his critique of LaVey and the Church of Satan. About 20 or so members who were in contact with Aquino and similarly inclined towards a belief in supernatural entities resigned as well. In his message Aquino claimed that “The Prince of Darkness” had removed an “Infernal Mandate” once given to LaVey, now bestowing it upon himself. This lead to the Temple of Set being later founded by Aquino and his followers. Setians hold to a belief that its Priesthood is in direct communication with a supernatural entity called Set by the ancient Egyptians, later named Satan in Hebrew and Christian mythologies.

Dr. LaVey wrote a response to this packet in the essay which we’ve reproduced verbatim here, “Hoisted By His Own Patois,” and it was sent out to those who had received Aquino’s letter. This piece is a clear example of LaVey reaffirming the fundamental carnal and materialist aspects of his philosophy at a time when some members’ needs were for some sort of supernatural, spiritualist theism. Those who did not embrace Satanism as codified in LaVey’s writings were invited to move on, but of course there would be consequences for this decision.

Dr. LaVey made it clear to all who knew him personally that he considered Aquino’s Setian philosophy to be occultnik gobbledygook and that he saw Aquino’s appearance to be ever more that of a would-be Mr. Spock. When the first edition of Aquino’s THE CHURCH OF SATAN was sent to him, LaVey took out what he called the “door stop” and used it to support targets for pistol practice. Aquino irked Dr. LaVey by regularly outing the address of his home, which LaVey felt was an intentional means of pointing people towards him so that assaults or vandalism could be perpetrated. While he felt directing attention towards Aquino only served to give him the attention he was seeking, as was his practice, he did make a mocking cartoon of “Archy” (after the comical typing cockroach) which he shared with those who concurred with his dubious view of Aquino and his endless output of drivel. You can see this image below.

We who administer the Church of Satan today are proud to uphold the philosophy as crafted by our founder and we resist all who would try and inject aspects of supernaturalism and theism into what was intended from the start to be dedicated to rational self-interest, indulgence and the glorification of the material and carnal aspects of life.

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