We can almost hear the voice of Colonel Klink screaming into the intercom: "Gebauer!" Klaus-Joachim Gebauer, once a Volkswagen personnel executive, procurer of hookers and all-round can-do guy for VW's works council, has quite a story to tell. He told that story, in all its unlawful, unethical detail, to German magazine Stern. According to Gebauer, part of his job was to garner favor for Volkswagen management among members of the council, a body that represents workers on VW's supervisory board. By "garnering," we mean Gebauer procured hookers, paid travel and other expenses for the two mistresses of a council leader and rented an apartment that hosted executives' and council members' trysts. An investigation of the scandal Gebauer recounted in the article has already cost his job and the jobs of a works council chair a top human-resources manager and other executives at the company. Ironically, VW's turnaround will likely depend on the company finding a few more relentless multitaskers like Gebauer.