Bing the Porn Search King!

Google. Google. Google. That’s all you fucking hear these days. You ask some local buddy with decent taste if they can recommend a restaurant and they grab their phone, start typing, then regurgitate some shit spat out by the net’s most beloved search engine without even checking to see if it’s worthwhile. Pretty much the only time most Internet users believe Google to be anything other than a lifeline connecting them to the very fabric of the modern world is when it comes to porn. Look up some porn on Google and let me know if you find anything worthwhile. Yes, I’ll wait.

“Sunny Lane blowjob pov” typed into Google and Bing’s respective search fields (with SafeSearch turned completely off) saw results that are definitely not as similar as one might assume. Google returned results in a text-only mess of links to illegal tube sites with brief low quality videos. Bing, on the other hand, included a few such tube sites but also returned in second position a direct link to Sunny’s official website, home to high-quality photos and HD videos. The most pleasing element of Bing’s returned search results, though, is the use of images. Links to video streams, official previews and trailers, and online galleries are offered in thumbnail form. These small pics are pixilated for censorship reasons, yes, but once SafeSearch is disabled, you’re led to a tantalizing menu of Sunny’s best work. Google, on the other hand, returned its results as text links and, when Google Images and Google Video results were selected, we found not the useful graphic links to actual content provided by Bing, but image links leading to pop-ups, advertising barrages, and dead pages. Hardly the stellar work we’ve come to expect from the world’s leading search engine. But then, back in 2012 Google altered its search algorithms to filter out explicit content the company claims might not be the intended result of the search. (Searching “boobs” gets you clothed breasts; more specifically, “hot sexy naked boobs tits fuck” gets you nudity.) Search for simplified sexual terms at Bing, however, and your results are much easier on the eye. See?

And, if this gif by Redditor is on the right track, Bing might also be a workplace built on communal expressions of sexual pleasure, which would make their fondness for – or at least acceptance of – pornographic material that much more of a relief. It’s conjecture that suggests Bing’s employees are, after all, just wankers like us.