Wednesday, September 28, 2011

everything i wore from head to toe, except my shoes, is from Target. the sweater dress is not as flattering as i thought it was according to my bathroom mirror. it accentuated my negative boobs. ugh. my shoes are JCREW purchased from Buffalo Exchange several years ago. my daughter was in the middle of her 3rd out of 56686435476 fits of the day so the picture is bad.

here's the lovely lady, NOT obeying. she's also wearing all Target sans the Old Navy flippies.

Big A had early release day so he went in earlier and did not make the photo shoot. he cried for me tonight, as i cried about little a screaming in her room. i love him.

some days i wonder if having a third child will be the solution. i've heard second children, or strong willed children, often stop having so many issues when they discover they aren't the center of the universe.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

this morning my kids slept in. usually Big A is up first around 6:15am, but he didn't wake until after 7:30!!! i was thisclose to making sure he was still breathing because this sort of thing just DOES NOT happen in our home. (it may or may not have something to do with the fact that we stayed late at bible study last night and he was exhausted!) because he woke up so late i had the chance to wake up naturally, on my own. i don't know if you have kids that wake you up every. single. morning. but i can assure you that a morning you are able to wake up on your own is like a treasure straight from heaven. i feel so refreshed and well rested. and since i was so bright-eyed and bushy -tailed i thought i would try a new recipe for breakfast.

i know it's only been fall for like half a day 3 days, but i hit the ground running. i am all about pumpkin right now. little a requested pancakes so i thought i would add a little pumpkin just for fun.

since we're trying to stick to a Paleo diet i was inspired by this recipe for pancakes. i am not being super strict, so i made a few changes. here's my recipe for a pumpkin "grain-free" version.

1 c Bob's Red Mill gluten-free all purpose baking flour

1/2 c pumpkin puree

1 tbsp almond flour

2 eggs

1/4 c water

1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

1/4 tsp ground cloves

1/4 tsp kosher salt

top with maple syrup

they turned out pretty awesome, except they weren't that sweet. i think i'll add some Stevia to the mix next time. or honey. whatever.

in honor of the change in season i also bought a new coffee. and DANG it is tasty.

oh, and i'm also burning my sweet cinnamon pumpkin candle like Jesus is returning TOMORROW. i just can't get enough of that smell. i fear i will burn it all before Thanksgiving even gets here so i'm on a feverish hunt for a new fall candle. someone tell me where to go, and quick!

i have some left over pumpkin puree so i'm gonna go whip up some grain-free pumpkin bread right now.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

you may or may not have noticed the Shabby Apple link in my sidebar. i recently became an affiliate and wanted to give you some inspiration on how i would wear two of their dresses.

i've always loved gingham, so you can imagine my excitement when not only did i find out that gingham is TOTALLY the new print for fall, but that Shabby Apple has the cutest shirt dress ever. i would wear this outfit to Thanksgiving, church, or to help in my little guy's classroom. eeek. i love it so much.

Friday, September 23, 2011

remember when i had my "craftening"? well, this is what i made! and i LUH-HUV it!!!!. eeek.

i'm starting to let down my guard a little with this whole new house thing.... which i should really be careful because anything can happen. but for now we really feel like the Lord keeps opening the doors and we keep just walking through them.

i know i've totally made inspirations boards for different rooms in the house, but this is the first thing i've actually MADE with it in mind. the new house is white with black trim and a brick red door, so i thought this pretty shade of blue would look just lovely hanging on it. i found a tutorial for the rick rack rosettes here. i also made clip on earrings for little a with them a couple weeks ago and she loves them.

i think they are my new favorite craft. what else can i put them on? hmmm....

Thursday, September 22, 2011

ok, i know crafternoon sounds better but we just didn't do it in the afternoon. we did it in the evening. so i had to come up with something clever and that's all i got.

pretty much every week since school started for our kids, Cherish and i have been having craftenings. before that we were having weekly play dates and just sitting around talking about doing crafty stuff... but now that the boys are all in school, and at opposite hours, we can never see each other during the day. MAJOR bummer. mostly for us, but i know the kids miss each other too. so now we meet when all our kids are in bed and stay up way too late making good use of all the DIY stuff we pin on Pinterest.

this week i decided to make a yarn letter for my new front door and Cherish wanted to make a bunting for her mantel.

this is probably the 3rd or 4th picture we tried to take of ourselves with my instagram app, in my kitchen with bad lighting, at night. the first couple were forced and we didn't look like we were having much fun. i can assure you we were. noted above. i think we were both just SUPER tired. she had been up since 3:15am that morning (F.) and i had no excuse.

i almost crapped myself several times over this dang yarn letter. we all know i'm OCD and trying to get perfectly horizontal lines with my yarn EVERY TIME was totally freaking me out. i may or may not have hyperventilated, almost thrown it, or cried. depends on which one of us you talk to.

Cher-bear had to figure out how to tune me out whilst accordion folding, whilst i watched. i may or may not have given her judgemental glances for not using the ruler while she made each fold. again, it depends on who you talk to.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

i love to plan a good party. i love making invitations for parties, coordinating snacks for the theme of the party, making decorations for parties, cooking yummy food and giving it name tags for parties... i just LOVE PLANNING PARTIES!!!!

well, Big A recently turned 5. and i did not plan him a party. sad.

it partly had to do with the fact that we didn't throw little a some big party back in June because we had been home from Hume SD for only two weeks and i didn't have time, and partly because we are saving our pennies to get into *crossing fingers, saying a little prayer* new house.

plus, like 75% of the people he wanted to invite are in San Diego... boo. for the several days leading up to his big day he would announce people he wanted to attend. "mom, i'm inviting chloe, ethan, and liam. but not baby jack because no babies are allowed at my party. and make sure you tell auntie jackie to bring emery. but not baby wren because there are no babies at my party. also, noah. and don't forget rylan and hayden. can ms. cherish bring daisy and olive too. yeah, we can have dogs. but no babies."

for someone who loves pregnant woman as much as my son does, he will kick you to the curb once that baby comes out. see proof above.

we still wanted to make his day extra special. so all day long he got all his favorite things. for breakfast i made him Paleo Crepes with non-paleo Nutella and banana slices, scrambled eggs and avocado. mmmm. i think it's my fav too.

Paleo Crepes:

1c coconut flour

1c coconut milk

1 egg

mix. pour about 1/4 c in small non stick pan. flip. eat.

after breakfast we heard some weird noise like the wizard working behind his curtain from the Wizard of Oz so we ran outside to see what all the commotion was about. it was just some hot air balloons (!!!!) floating over our house, no biggie.

they were apparently landing across the street. we saw four huge ones right over our heads. i have no idea what it was all about but i told Big A they were giant balloons for his birthday. he loved it.

we had been receiving packages in the mail from our family and friends all week and they were just sitting there waiting for him to open them. some special gifts he got were the Thor costume shown above (and little a scored a belated Princess Aurora costume as well!), a Wolverine Costume, transformers watch, books, clothes, jammies, gift cards, and a giant Optimus Prime. i'm sure i missed something, and we're still expecting another box to arrive this week. i think he made out big time!

for a special treat we took him to Chuck E. Cheese. we ate terrible food and played lame games, but the kids loved it so that's all that matters!

Big A requested the carrot cake i made for his Back-to-School party, but i totally blew it. i made them as cupcakes before and had no problem with them, but this time they did NOT want to come out of the cake pan!

so instead of a pretty frosted, layered cake, we ate it ghetto style straight from the pan! it still tasted just as good! and i'm pretty sure he didn't even notice.

this is my first year with a child in school so i got really excited to make cookies for his classroom the next day.

rocket sugar cookies, straight up.

i let the kids decorated them. so messy. so fun. his friend from school said they looked like toes. i can see that. ha!

this boy felt special. party or no party. job well done.

the fact that my baby is 5 coupled with all the gray hairs i'm pulling out lately is really starting to make me feel old. but i'm loving all the experiences that come with each new day!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

five years ago today my life changed forever. before this day, five years ago, i had no idea what becoming a mom would mean. i had no idea that God's grace would get me through so many sleepless nights to come. i had no idea that i could overcome my innate disgust of boogers to relieve my child from the inability to breath clearly. i had no idea that my ability to love someone more than myself would be possible. i had no idea i would be constantly faced with how selfish i am. i had no idea that making a quick trip to Target would sometimes take an hour because a certain little person wanted to stop and read books or admire the toy section. i had no idea i would occasionally leave my cart in said toy section to carry a screaming child into the bathroom for consequences. i had no idea that God's plan for me to disciple someone would mean that it would be my children.

but i quickly learned. and what a deeply humbling and intensely fierce love i have gained for it all.

i would never change a single moment of the change this boy has meant to my life.

i also had no idea that having one would mean having two. and how much more magnified the changes would be. good and bad.

we spent 3 days in the hospital with him before naming him Asher Elijah, which in Hebrew means "blessed or happy" "the Lord is God". we brought him home and life was complete. i enjoyed my role as a mom and savored every moment with him for the first year. his little personality revealed a deep love for cars. he would often be found carrying one in each hand, and never without any. suddenly every car that passed him by (which was EVERY CAR) was a new marvel and he would yell, "CAAAAAA!!!" in a Boston accent.

shortly after he turned one i became pregnant with our second child. and my priority shifted. i still enjoyed him. i still cherished him. but i was now divided. i daydreamed about my girl. and in some of that daydreaming i felt detached from my son. like i was losing him. he became more of a daddy's boy and didn't need me so much. a change i thought natural and allowed to happen without a fight.

after the birth of our daughter, this divide widened. partly because of the unemployment of my husband and the extra need for his help with our newborn, we grew apart. i could see it but i didn't know how to change it. my buddy didn't want me and my tiny girl NEEDED me. i couldn't, and didn't, stop the drift.

when my daughter became less dependant and my husband found employment 10 months later i started the process of rebuilding the bond. there were times when i felt he just HATED me. forcing him to spend time with me was painful. the process felt like i was ripping him away from his daddy, when i just wanted him to gain a mommy.

it's been a long road, with resistance from us both. sometimes it was just easier to let daddy do it and not deal with the tantrum. sometimes i just didn't want to feel the pain of him screaming for daddy. but over the years, and thankfully due to the diligence of my husband and i, we grew closer.

he's my buddy again. and in some ways i feel a stronger bond. he asks for me some nights. he can only be comforted by me sometimes. he NEEDS me again. and i need him.

today we celebrate his life. the gift that he is. how God so entrusted us with such a gem i will never fully understand. we are grateful and in awe of the treasure he is.

Friday, September 16, 2011

i am wayyyy behind this week. but that's ok because this is my blog and i'm allowed to give myself freedom in when i'm making posts. its good for me to get out of routine occasionally. i'm growing.

both the kids were sick over the weekend and Big A missed two days of school this week. plus, i hung out with Cherish on Wednesday night and stayed out too late. i still feel like i'm catching up on sleep after that. but it was so worth it. my time with her is always quality. i love her. she is part of why i love Fresno. wait, did i just say i love Fresno? eh. maybe.

i still struggle with this "what we wore wednesday". it is so awkward taking pictures of yourself for all the world to see. i look at so many other blogs, whether fashion or just mamas documenting outfits, and they all look so cute with their poses, sitting pretty with their babies. i always wonder what the behind the scenes are for those cute blogs. do those mamas get frustrated when their kids don't want to take pictures. who takes the pictures for them. are they all, "where should i look, down at my feet, or thoughtfully in the distance?"... ha, it's all just so funny! i guess i'm just not comfortable behind the camera.

in case any of you are wondering what this photo shoot was like, i will tell you. and make sure to hold on to your britches, because it was action packed and filled with drama.

Little a was driving her all-terrain sweet quad over mounds off dried grass and boulders when i called to her saying, "come here". and she did. then i took this picture.

riveting. i know.

Big A's process was much like Little a's. he was there, i called him here. he got his game face on and shot me this wicked smolder, and i pointed and clicked. done.

this week the kids did better at taking my pictures. Big A is the one i trust more holding my iphone, and he knows to make sure to get my head AND my feet in the shot. he said, "mom, i got your shoes, don't worry!".

for reals.

what am i doing to my kids?

anyway. i got my loafers for $6 from a thrift store and love them! i just don't know how to wear them. i made a board on Pinterest and this was one of the photos i pinned as inspiration for my outfit.

not quite the same, but i'm trying to work with what i've got!

i'm just excited that my hair is now long enough to put in a side braid. it makes my "get up and go" lifestyle so much easier. this week, i washed my hair during my evening shower, then never styled it. i've been doing a lot of messy buns and side braids. i was thinking of growing out my bangs, but i saw some old pictures of myself with bangs and now i'm changing my mind.

also, i only wash my hair like every 5 days or something icky and stinky like that... so i recently bought some dry shampoo, thinking my hair would be less icky and stinky by the 5th day. WRONG. not only did my hair stay icky, now it looks like I HAVE DANDRUFF AND AM GOING GRAY. it leaves this weird grayish powder/film at your roots. my husband got real close to my scalp and announced that it's flaky.

not hot.

if you come in for a hug today you're gonna get the side-hug shut down. for your own sake.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

we've been trying to eat paleo for almost a month now. it's had it's challenges, but we are sticking to it and feeling good. i wanted to show you what a day looks like for us, kids and all, hunter/gatherer style (basically, no more happiness).

first off, i meal plan. i spend about an hour scouring cookbooks and online recipes to find meals i feel would meet the paleo guidelines and also be tasty enough for the kids to actually eat. we live on a budget and i try to make sure i'm not being wasteful, so meal planning helps me buy what we need and eat what we buy. i don't have a big list of paleo food blogs to use as a resource yet, but one i go to often is PaleoPlan.com.

i adapted a recipe for the zucchini bread from my Betty Crocker cook book:

3 c shredded zucchini

1 tsp stevia + 1/3 c honey (someone online said the stevia to sugar ratio was 1c sugar to 1 tsp stevia and boy were they wrong! the bread turned out more savory than sweet, which was NOT a pleasant surprise. i need to try this again)

2/3 c coconut oil (the bread was really greasy so i think i'll half it next time)

little a loved it. big A said never to make it again. my husband topped it with honey.

for the kids lunch i gave them some cubed ham, a hard boiled egg, sugar snap peas, baby carrots, and some grapes. i ate the same thing, on an adult plate. i'm a firm believer that your children learn their eating habits from you and i want to be a good example by feeding them what i would eat and eating each meal with them.

dinner was a recipe i adapted for chicken tortilla soup, so now i'm calling it mexican chicken soup.

snacks for the day include my fav trail mix (almonds, walnuts & dried blueberries), a smoothie, apples and peanut butter, veggies and hummus.

mkay, it's a little after 8pm and now i'm starving. some of the challenges i'm facing with this type of diet are being super hungry about 30 minutes after a full meal. i feel like i'm CONSTANTLY running out of food. we are consuming so much more because we are always hungry. my kids wake up STARVING. they cannot wait even 5 minutes, sometime they can't fall asleep at night because they are so hungry right after dinner and we have to give them a snack. oh, i'm also cooking more. which means more dishes.

it's hard to keep food in the house and stay satisfied. it's also really hard when my blood sugar drops and all i want is a freaking PASTRY! it's also hard to be on Pinterest and see all those dang fall pumpkin trifles and breakfast casseroles.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

last night i made a few changes to the blog. i added some photos of my fam over in the side bar -----> and some "about us" text. while i think what she said is true of most parents of young children, i must give credit where it is due. i was heavily inspired by a young mom in the blog world, whom i have never met, that i pray for regularly. i stumbled upon her a couple years ago for some cute crafty thing she made and have been a regular reader since. i love her humble heart. as the years have passed her life has taken some unsuspecting turns. if you'd like to read her story and join me in praying for her you can click on the link i provide below.

having 5 kids, i think Megan Russell said it best, over on her blog Night Song.

"one day there will be no…living room floor strewn like an obstacle course with legos.trail of flip-flops littered from front door to stairs.shoulder of my shirt smeared with cheeto stained fingers.juice spills on the freshly mopped kitchen floor.grimy handprints adorning the door frames.sticky fruit snacks and graham crackers ground into the car mats.middle of the night interruptions for bad dreams. or water. or snuggles.noses being wiped on my leg.made-up songs and stories bombarding for my attention.fights to break up over who had what first.songs to sing to sleepy little heads in bed.car seats to buckle. and unbuckle.boogers smeared on the walls.complaints of “i don’t like this…” at mealtime.whiny voices clamoring for snack-time.bottles to fill in the middle of the night.wiggly teeth to be lost. and hidden under pillows.tangled hair to comb through and braid.diapers to change. bottoms to be wiped.scraped knees to pray for. and kiss. and bandage up.little voices calling my name through the house.funny stick people art and comic strips drawn just for me.interruptions while i’m in the bathroom.stories to be read. and told.bikes+scooters being ridden in the kitchen. and over my toes.new stunts or creations to be admired.little people smothering me on the couch during movie time.

and i will miss it so. every little thing.may i savor each detail while it is here and now.oh. how much richer my life is because of them."

Thursday, September 8, 2011

that's right. i said Always Adoring. yes, i realize they both start with A's. i can't help myself. there are two things i love most in life (not ANYWHERE close as much as my family... and yellow cake...but still) and they are alliteration and matching. hence the reason i'm always trying to make up blog titles that are so cutesy aaaaand i like my eye shadow to match my sweater, and earring, and purse. BARF! i can't help it. so you better get used to it.

so now that i'm over planning out all the decorations for our {possibly} new kitchen... Lord willing... i'm on to the next inspiration for our {possibly} new family room, below.

view from hall entry

ok. first things first. if this place becomes our sweet baby the first thing i'm gonna do, after painting, is chip away at those hideous '90's contemporary tiles. ick. some people like them, i do not.

view from kitchen

i would really prefer to have something classic, and timeless. also, something that will give it long lasting appeal, way after we're gone. something like white glass subway tile. yeah, that's it.

since it isn't a ginormous room, i think it would be best to get a smallish couch and two chairs flanking the fireplace. the (currently non-existent) flat screen T.V. would be mounted over the fireplace to save precious floor space. one thing i know for sure, besides how much i hate the tile on the fireplace, is that i want to paint the room a dark teal color. living in apartments my whole life (read: WHITE WALLS EVERYWHERE!!!) i would like to go bold and rich. so you will have to visualize all the items below against a darker palette. going so dark means the options for furniture need to be on the lighter side. i've narrowed it down to two options.

No. 12} playful rug. not so expensive i would cry over spilled milk either.

once i finished the board for this room, i loved it just the same. they're like my children. how can you admit to loving one more? now i can't choose. this one is more on the eclectic side and still playfull... but it all looks so nice together.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

today IS Wednesday, right? i'm all thrown off since Monday was a holiday.

today was such a battle to get my kids to cooperate for "what we wore Wednesday". they DID NOT want to be in pictures and they most certainly did not want to take any pictures. especially not of me. i found myself telling my kids, "please take a picture of mommy, just do it. obey!" um, super awkward. but i have a commitment here people. i mean, i know you all race to your computer every Wednesday to see how cutting edge my little family is! ha!

i do feel bad, i mean this isn't that important, i'm the only one who really cares. it was just coming down to an obedience thing, i had to win. weird thing to win at... but i'm the mom.

so first up is Big A.

this picture is terrible, something went wrong and the quality is bad but you get the point. he chose a sea foam green tee from Target, and gray shorts, also from Target. the navy blue slip ons are from Nordstrom's Rack, and the lanyard with the froggy toy on the end that you can't see is what he won for selling $25 worth of cookie dough yesterday. (he got two more froggies today!) he asked to have his hair slicked and is posing like "Captain America throwing his shield". perfect.

next we have little a.

the tiny purple flower tank is from Old Navy and i made the circle skirt using this tutorial. (um, it's really hard to cut out a perfect circle, don't mind the fact that it's really an OVAL!) flippies from Old Navy as well. the darling backpack that is 3/4's her size was a gift from my sister for her birthday, and of course you have to have your Hello Kitty lunch box! (she wanted to wear all this to drop Big A off at school.)

then there was me.

this is probably the 6th attempt at a full body shot, in focus. neither of my kids would put any effort in (hence the fact that Big A is drinking his smoothie in the shot). but alas, we prevailed. i'm wearing a coral colored tee, navy blue Gap skirt, thrifted tan belt, and thrifted mocs. oh, and thrifted bracelet.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

only a handful of people know. it's just a little one. but it's big to me. i've been keeping it under wraps because i'm trying to keep my excitement under control, you know... just in case.

*deep breath* ok, here i go... WE'RE IN ESCROW!!!

yep, it's true. we are. but anything can happen so i am not fully allowing my heart to get all cozy in a new house, or work out every detail... until every detail is worked out.

but i am a little excited. and one way of knowing is by taking a closer look at my Pinterest boards. i have wanted to own a home for probably my whole life, and if not that long, at least as long as we've been married.

i can't help myself, so i'm going to let you in on the little ideas i have for some changes to eventually be made, Lord willing. for this post i will show you the existing kitchen and breakfast area and some of my inspiration for it.

view from the breakfast area

the home was purchased by investors so they put all new tile in the entryway, kitchen, and laundry room. it's very nice but i would love to have hardwood floors one day. the kitchen is smaller than our existing rental property, so i will have to be strategic with my organization. i love the white cabinets and inset ceiling. another thing to change, way down the line, would be the counter tops. not my fav. but they work just fine.

view from the formal dining room

one thing i would love to experiment with that would cost almost no money, and i think would open up the tight space of the kitchen, would be to take all the top cabinet doors off and leave them open. i could either paint the inside or add bead board to the back. depends on funds.

it also would be nice to remove the existing cabinets over the bar to open it up into the family room, but that would take away so much precious storage.

breakfast area, view from the family room.

see what i mean about those cabinets blocking off the kitchen from the bar?

i do love the bead board along the wall of the breakfast area. we only have one dining room table, and it's a biggin' (8-seater rectangular table) so that will have to go in the formal dining room. eventually i would like to put benches in along the corner of the breakfast area to make it more nook-y and get a round pedestal table and chairs to allow for more seating and added storage. another thing that would be nice would be to remove the pantry and extend the counter area, but then where would i put all my nuts and berries?

ok, so here is what i found on Pinterest. the possibilities are endless and i LOVE the inspirations. eek! i know the pictures are small, but you get the idea.

love the colors and the butcher block counters. i also like the idea of adding a shelf over the sink, but there is a window over our sink and i can't remember how far up it goes. might not be room. this whole kitchen is a dream.

ok, now the cat is out of the bag. we are holding this house with an open hand. we only want it if it is the Lord's will and if something comes up (like the in ground pool in the backyard (!) will make our water or gas bill $500... or the inspection uncovers a need for all new plumbing) then we are content with still renting... even if it is noisy.