If you're not happy with yourself physically, spiritually, financially or emotionally, then a personal transformation is in store. However, you must know that a transformation of any kind starts on the inside. It is entirely possible for you to feel confidence, recognize your inherent worth, and develop a responsibility to nurture that worth in others. This is done by opening yourself up to the hidden gems inside you, and using your strengths to reach your goals.

Steps

Method1

Recognizing and Improving Your Strengths

1

Imagine your ideal self. One exercise, known as the Best Possible Self, has been shown to foster positive emotions about oneself, produce optimism, strengthen coping, and heighten one’s positive expectations about the future.[1] Indulge yourself in a few moments of quiet time to try out this exercise, and get a deeper understanding of what it is you most want out of life.

Choose a date in the future; it could be 1 year or 5 years from now. Imagine that, at this time, you are the personification of your best possible self. You now have accomplished all the positive and attainable goals you set for yourself. Examine this version of yourself closely.

Now, write out the details – be as elaborative as you can. What important milestones have you crossed? What character strengths does your future self have? What strengths will you need to make this vision a reality?

2

Uncover your greatest attributes. Do you know what innate qualities you hold that make you special and capable of reaching your dreams? Everyone has redeeming qualities that contribute to their worth and value in this world. Acknowledging and applying your character strengths can do wonders for enhancing your personal well-being and satisfaction in life. What are yours?

Think about a few times when you felt accomplished or proud. These may have been times when you were recognized for doing a good job, or when you completed a task or goal. What personal attributes were put to use to get there? Identify and list them.

If you cannot think of a time when your character strengths were put on display, you can take an inventory to help you identify them. Set aside 15 minutes and take the VIA Institute on Character survey.[2]

3

Affirm yourself. After you have engaged in self-exploration to identify your best qualities, affirm them. Give yourself endless chances to foster growth and become your best possible self by building yourself up and believing in your abilities. An affirmation is a declaration about yourself focused on positively affecting your self-image and environment.[3] Below are a few guidelines for creating your own positive affirmations:

Keep them positive. Avoid using any negative terms or phrases.

Use present or past tense, such as “I am capable of reaching my goals” or “I have the inner grace to accept and love my imperfections” as opposed to future tense or “I will” statements

Make your affirmations brief yet strong and specific.

Believe that what you are saying is true.

Post your affirmations around your home, on your bathroom mirror, or even in pockets or in between pages of notebooks to always give yourself a boost in positivity.

4

Stop comparing yourself to others.[4] When you peek over in your neighbor’s business and find that he is excelling in some area that you are not, you may feel discontented with yourself. On the other hand, when you examine someone else’s life and find that he is doing poorly, you may receive a false sense of superiority. No matter how you look at it, comparison results in negative and unhealthy behaviors. Drop the comparisons; you’ll have more time to focus on and affirm your own growth instead.

5

Say goodbye to self-criticism.[5] If you have a tendency to beat yourself up, end it today. This habit only serves to tear you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Sometimes, we are especially critical of ourselves when we need reassurance of our abilities and our worthiness.

Situation: My boss called me out in front of the entire office after making a mistake with a report.

Self-Critical Thoughts: I'm such an idiot. I can't do anything right.

Consequences: I am embarrassed because I was made a fool of in front of the entire office, and angry at myself because I could have prevented it.

Rational Responses: It was only my first time doing this kind of report, so mistakes are expected. I am very good at coordinating projects and building rapport with clients. Doing those things makes me feel competent at my job.

Method2

Setting Your Goals

1

Make a two column list. Include all the things about yourself that you like, such as your personal character strengths, and those that might need improvement in order for you to accomplish your goals. Doing it this way helps you to recognize that there is a balance in all things – in other words, there are things in which you excel and there are things in which you struggle. Brainstorm ways you can foster growth in these challenging areas.

2

Develop SMART goals. SMART goals are those that are specific, measurable, achievable, results-focused, and time-bound.[7] Following this method helps you to design powerful goals that you are more likely to be motivated to achieve. Consider several goals that you would like to accomplish in the next several months towards your personal transformation, such as gaining acceptance into college. Then, create an accompanying SMART goals for each of them.

Measurable: How will you know that your goal has been accomplished (e.g., college acceptance letter, etc.)?

Achievable: Is your goal realistic while still challenging you to gather the knowledge, resources, and skills to obtain it? For example, you wouldn't expect to get accepted into college if you have not met all the requirements for high school.

Time-bound: Does your goal fit within a time-frame that stimulates a reasonable sense of urgency?

3

Break larger goals down into smaller weekly/monthly goals. If you have any goals that span several months, such as getting accepted into college, then you will need to reduce these goals down into manageable steps.

For example, if your goal is get accepted into college, you might have multiple smaller goals (that also require smaller steps within them) like the following: maintain grade point average in high school, pass the ACT, get letters of recommendation, write personal essays, and apply for scholarships.

4

Track your progress. Regularly come back to both your larger and smaller goals and see how you’re progressing. Are you well on your way? Does the goal(s) need to be modified to account for new variables? Knowing where you stand in attaining your goals can ensure that you are on the right track and build motivation.

5

Find an accountability partner.[8] Reach out to a friend, coworker, or family member whom you can trust and depend on to meet with or check in regularly. You can give this person weekly updates (via email or phone) outlining your goal progression. Having someone that is reliably checking in can influence you to actually keep moving towards accomplishing your goals.

Method3

Putting It into Practice

1

Develop a winning routine.[9] Having a fulfilling and productive life takes planning. Many successful people incorporate the same tasks into their daily schedules that keep them positive and moving towards their goals. Productive routines:

Prioritize relevant and irrelevant tasks. Don't let yourself get distracted or consumed by miscellaneous tasks that pull you from important work.

Include time for physical activity.

Ensure a quiet, distraction-free work environment.

Tie in regular breaks.

Involve check-ins with an accountability partner.

2

Meet new people. Expanding your social circle is a great way to transform your life. New people bring new opportunities for you to grow, new cultures you can become perceptive to, and new adventures. New friendships can improve your life satisfaction, reduce stress, offer you a support system during tough times, and help you achieve goals.[10] Get connected with new people by:

Volunteering.

Carpooling to work or school.

Signing up for a new class or activity.

Connecting with other alumni through the school network.

Attending local cultural events, such as gallery openings or festivals.

3

Challenge yourself. If you're not being challenged, then you're not being changed. You must get out of your comfort zone to truly transform your life. By making yourself uncomfortable, you are open to growth and increased confidence.[11]

Do one thing that scares you every day.

Accept that you don't know everything and constantly look for opportunities to learn.

Apply for that promotion.

Try to learn a new language.

Approach that interesting person you have been wanting to chat with.

Push yourself a tad bit harder in the gym.

4

Celebrate successes. Changing your life for the better can be difficult and overwhelming. That's why it's important to note even the tiniest successes and relish in them often. Celebrating the positive changes you are making is essential to sticking to this transformation and building confidence for greater successes down the road.[12]