Why do I do this?

I started this website to record down my achievements in life so far. I think it’s important that we could pen down what we’ve done and how we feel to refer to in the future. It could do us good in two ways. One, we can laugh about how immature our mind was in the past (admit it, when I read my own blog entries from the past, not even more than 2 years ago, I still think they’re immature!), and two, we can learn from mistakes which we’ve painfully committed to,

Recently I’ve not really been putting in effort into accomplishing what I want to accomplish. Several reasons I guess.

I’m just too engrossed in gaming, which has thus far been my worst nemesis. It’s a huge distraction. And most of the time I fail to prioritize, thinking that a bit of gaming wouldn’t hurt. When in fact, it’s what hurts the most. I have a passion for computer science, I want to learn computer science and computing. But somehow everytime I get down to studying that C++ tutorial, I’ll end up having a game or two of DotA 2. As childish and immature this may sound, it’s still happening to me. I need to Wake the hell up

I think it’s too hard, and just give up. Not only for learning C++, but also for reading novels and books. Recently a really good friend of mine lent me a book on Einstein’s Relativity. It’s a topic which I’m really interested in and would really want to learn and figure out more about. But somehow after reading a while I just gave up on it. I didn’t understand the concepts, and I didn’t put in the effort to even try and understand the concepts. While it’s really frustrating at times, I can’t help it but to just set the book aside thinking “Oh I’ll get to it the next time I pick up the book.” The next time didn’t come at all. I have no idea how should I correct this mistake of mine, but I do hope I can overcome this major mindset issue one day.

I’m in the army. Which is an excuse that all NSFs use these days. “I’m in army, where got time?!” Which is a valid reason, but at the same time a bullshit reason to begin with. After enlisting for such a long time, it’s don upon me that we have way too much free time in the army to waste, rather than doing something productive. Instead of whining all the while what ‘we’re wasting time’ or ‘where got time'(which I sometimes think is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard), why not just get down to it and start on whatever you want to do without this two years of army? Easier said than done, Why? I attribute this to our laziness that has settled in since after A levels. The desire to learn and thirst for knowledge has already been quenched by our previous exams. Ihave to tell myself otherwise.

Right, that’s my reflections on what I’ve become in the past year of being idling and slacking. And it’s about time that I do something with my life. Starting from tomorrow, starting from now, starting from this very second onwards.