Case Number 25748: Small Claims Court

Battle Earth

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All Rise...

Judge David Johnson battles aliens like a mofo.

The Charge

Mankind's darkest hour.

The Case

Extraterrestrials have made themselves known to humanity and done so in a
belligerent manner. It's a full-scale invasion and Earth's military forces are
scrambling to respond to the attack. A detachment of elite Canadian soldiers is
dispatched with a top-secret package that could turn the tide of the battle. But
on the way to the hot zone, their chopper is hit and crashes in the middle of
no-man's land. What follows is a lot of walking and yelling and, if you look
really close, an alien or two firing laser guns.

Don't believe the marketing. Don't believe the disc art.

Those guys on the cover firing up in the sky in front of the flaming ruins
of a city while an alien ship hovers menacingly above? Yeah, never happens. Flip
the disc case over and there's some striking art: fighter jets flying around
space (?) while fireballs rain down. Again, nothing. Inception offers a perfect
display of misleading marketing.

Is this out of the ordinary for DVD releases? Of course not. Inspired disc
case artists often indulge in embellishments, perhaps at the behest of the
marketing honchos. But at some point you just have to be honest with your
potential audience, because Battle Earth is pretty much the opposite of
its art. And seeing as the original title of the film was far less
provocative—The Medic—I'm going to lay my frustration at the
feet of the studio suits.

Battle Earth has almost zero action and very little battling. It is,
in fact, a fairly quiet character drama, following a group of soldiers as they
plow through the wilderness. Their mission takes a backseat to their dialogue
exchanges, character progression, and how Baker (the medic) deals with the
pressures of the situation.

This is fine and the movie is certainly allowed to be whatever it wants, but
the wooden acting and lethargic pace keep Battle Earth from doing any
real damage. When we finally do get some human-on-alien action, it's fleeting
and forgettable. The alien makeup may or may not be interesting. Not sure. The
aliens are way off in the distance, so it's hard to tell.