Holly and Harry’s Comic-Con 2017

HOLLY TRUSLOVE: The costumes were on. The train tickets to London at stupid-o’clock had been bought. It could only mean one thing: London Comic-Con 2k17 was upon us.

HARRY KIELY: There was exactly one problem at hand – one of us did not have cosplay due to zero money. No spoilers, but it was me.

HT: Ha, yes, so whilst two of us were dressed head to toe in costume, bright pink jumpers and knee socks included, the third stuck out like a sore thumb! Egg on YOUR face!

To be fair though, we have discussed before that nobody cares what you wear at Comic-Con because we’re all just a bunch of nerds packed into a boiling room.

HK: And man, it was hotter than some of the guys get about anime body pillows. The journey there proved exciting, as most London adventures do. For every stop on the way there, more and more nerds dressed in various cosplays emerged. As we have no sense of direction, we followed the swarm of nerds.

HT: The easiest way to get to Comic-Con is, in fact, to find geeks and hope that the group migrates in the right direction. Heck, it hasn’t failed us so far. Before long, we were in the line for priority entrance, trapped between an adorable family in a Wreck-It Ralph group cosplay, and about 2764 Pidges from Voltron. But the line moved pretty quickly, and before long, a security lady was probing Harry’s pencil case.

HK: It’s true, she found so many dangerous pens from Poundland. I mean, I do understand, given the current situation in England, but I thought it was better when they searched Holly’s see-through water bottle.

HT: She was like, ‘Is there alcohol in here?’ Ma’am, I am a serious con attendant. I will not choose to dehydrate myself in this manner. In the end, we got in just fine, but then something happened that I didn’t.. quite understand. Everyone was talking about TLJ. TLJ this, TLJ that. What was going on?! It took me a bit, but having finally clocked the staggering amount of Star Wars costumes, I got it. The Last Jedi. That did make more sense. But coincidence… ? I think not.

HK: I would just like to point out that Holly spent all day telling us how they were going to use this joke, so I’m glad it’s out of the way. We were sweaty, excited and prepared, wallets in hand. A quick browse-around that was actually a lot faster than we expected.

HT: One stall that we both appreciated was the LGBT+ comics stall. We got these patches from it that said ‘Queer’ and ‘Trash’, which pretty much sums us up.

HK: The queerest and trashiest. At that point, we had to rest, because I forgot to pack my knee support – I shouldn’t be allowed to be an adult. Later, I found a vintage game stall, and as if the fact that they had PlayStation 4 games on display wasn’t enough, they didn’t have the game I wanted. I can’t tell you the title because of trademark laws, but he’s a purple dragon who likes eggs. And gems.

HT: So we’ve been name-dropping all the way through, but Spyro is where we draw the line.

HK: Well – don’t SAY that!

HT: … So, after a double helping of the best damn fried chicken I’ve ever had – honestly one of the main reasons I go to Comic-Con – our hunt was on. I’d gone to Comic-Con with two things in mind: the Steven Universe Lapis Funko Pop, and the Overwatch D.va Funko Pop. There were so many stalls, but none of them had the ones I wanted. Harry’s constant moaning of ‘Oh, you’ll never find iiiiiit, but it’s onliiiiine’ didn’t help. I didn’t give up like a BIG OLD LOSER, though, so guess who got their Lapis figure? Me. I did. With my Funko in hand, the rest of the day was sweeter than my first taste of mochi (the stall of which I returned to, all to buy three mochis more.)

HK: Besides the mochis, the stall – which only served Japanese confectionary and sweets – had some questionable sodas. The one Holly bought was so hard to open that we’d need someone like Terry Crews around to do it.

HT: Yeah, it was mad.

HK: We settled on a green lighter for our day – because we know that everyone reading this astounding account will be GREEN with envy. It was also the colour we turned after eating too much food in a very short amount of time. And, of course, green like Luke Skywalker’s homemade lightsaber.