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LIFESTYLE LESBIAN IS THE NEW STRAIGHT For Generation Y, lesbians were fast-tracked to acceptance, says Alex Harmon. I ’m sitting at the dinner table for my brother’s birthday, my girlfriend is talking cricket with my Dad, in between compli- menting my mother on her cooking and asking to swap recipes. My brother’s girlfriend is passing the salads and we’re all laughing at my Nanna who is trying to convince my girlfriend to stay another night and check out the new caravan. It’s the picture of normality, one big happy family. But it’s not supposed to be this way — the gays are supposed to be left in the corner with the Tabasco sauce, tolerated in small doses, misunderstood, kept away from children and, defi nitely, an acquired taste. Ten years ago when I realised I was a les- bian, I envisioned a life of ostracised loneliness, of being banished from family weddings, of living in a cult with unwashed, unshaven women where food was bartered for knitted socks. I did not expect that as an adult I would be tuning into prime time television to see lesbian expectant mothers and baby-dyke cops walking amongst us. I never thought I’d live in a world where the terms celebro-dyke and celesbian were coined and used to line the pockets of the media merchants. “We’re here, we’re queer, we’ll be the perfect spokeswomen for your new beer.” Lesbians are now like tattoos, once seen as rebellious, now as common as Chinese symbols for zodiac signs. And they’re inked on the fl esh you can fl aunt, not hidden away under your jeans like they used to be. Before you hit me with your Prop 8 and your legislative hate, I am writing from the protective bubble that is Sydney. Home of Priscilla, Mardi Gras, gay football teams and the Sly Fox. I can bump into a lesbian faster than you can say soy decaf latté. Once upon a time I thought the only lesbian I would meet was my PE teacher; now we’ve got an entire Gay Olympics. I know how lucky I am to live in this lifetime and this city. I just worry that instead of being radical homos like we used to be, we’ve become homogenised renegades. The power-dykes of the ’70s and ’80s fought so long and hard to be accepted into heterosexual society’s norms that today’s dykes have actually become the norms themselves. They say Gen Y are the most complacent, seeking stability, normality and a nice, easy life and lesbians are no different. Think about it: lesbians are getting married, they’re having babies, they’re 50 LOTL Magazine • lotl.com “I grew up in fear, thinking lesbians were like witches only to realise that lesbians are as everyday as the hetero couple next door” Pictured: moments in lesbian mainstreaming: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair in Cruel Intentions 1999; Madonna and Britney at the 2005 MTV Awards; and a 2009 lesbian wedding in All My Children living middle class lives — they’re so conservative! Perhaps it’s that they’ve come so far that they’ve gone all the way back to straight. Or could it be that I grew up in fear, think- ing lesbians were like witches (you won’t realise until you look at their shoes — watch out!) only to realise that lesbians are as everyday as the hetero couple next door? It’s almost disappointing. Like all things that go mainstream, they start to lose their edge, like Lily Allen’s new album, Good News Week on Channel 10 and Ruby Rose on the 7pm Project. I know it’s not all ‘one big happy family’ for everyone and discrimination is still out there. I just think we’ve come a long way in a short amount of time, and that can only be a good thing for the future. I am truly blessed for what our fore-mothers have done for us and what my peers are continuing to do. Although we may not have equal rights for marriage, last month I opened two wedding invitations for same-sex wedding ceremonies. The government might not be up to speed but lesbians are taking matters into their own hands and sticking it to the man. They’re in the suburbs, they’re shopping at big-name supermarkets, and they’re wearing brand-name socks. They’re not revolutionaries, but they’re doing what our generation does best — playing it safe and setting a fi ne example of acceptance for tomorrow’s dykes. I remember, ten years ago, an episode of Friends (in my experience the fi rst ever portrayal of a lesbian couple on TV) where Susan and Carol tie the knot. Phoebe is possessed by the spirit of an old lady, whose line has stuck with me for years. After their marriage is announced, she exits Phoebe, stating “Now I’ve seen everything.” Lady, if you were at that wedding now, you wouldn’t bat an eyelid.