You know when kids have that exciting breakthrough in reading? They’re no longer struggling to sound out works, but instead announce every word they see loudly to the world- so confident and proud. This is Zana right now.

“Barber shop!”

And a few minutes later, “do not enter!”

As we were leaving her sister’s Capitol Hill soccer game this past weekend she couldn’t wait to yell out the two words spray painted on the electrical box: “F*ck Gil!”

Shocked silence from everyone including me.

“SHHHHH,” I said just as loudly as she had screamed “f*ck!”

“What?” She was confused.

I told her it wasn’t a nice word and that she shouldn’t say it ever again.

Zana: what does it mean?

Me: don’t worry about that. All you need to know is not to say it.

Zana (whispering): ohhh you’re going to tell me when we get to the car?

Me: no, you just need to not say it

Zana (no longer whispering): I’m just going to keep saying “f*ck” until you tell me what it means!

Typical Zana. The same kid who wasn’t satisfied with my answer to how babies come out (“between your legs”) and grilled me on how a human could come out of a “peepee hole.”

You just never know how far the conversation will have to go with that one.

So I gave the best on-the-fly answer I could come up with: “It’s a not-nice word for sex.” (*please don’t ask me what that means*)

And she didn’t.

F*cking Gil and those f*cking kids he ticked off. Now can we please get this cleaned up before next Saturday so other parents don’t have to explain f*cking profanities to their kids??