Grudge Match is like a “Punchy Old Men” — a slow-footed, high- concept comedy that pairs
the screen’s greatest pugilists, circa 1981, for a few slaps and laughs.

Robert De Niro and Sylvester Stallone square off as aged boxers brought back by desperation and
a desperate fight promoter, played by Kevin Hart. Hart slows his roll to match his two leads and
the sluggish film around them, in which every punch, every gag and most performances are played at
half-speed.

Henry “Razor” Sharp (Stallone) and Billy “the Kid” McDonnen (De Niro) were light heavyweights
who had unfinished business in the ’80s. Razor walked away from a decisive third fight after each
had taken out the other once in their rivalry.

Kid, a boozing braggart, never forgave Razor. He drinks and does a Jake LaMotta (Raging Bull) sort of stand-up act in his bar, where he gets to live the ex-jock’s dream in
their hometown of Pittsburgh.

Razor went broke, got a job in a steel mill and never got over the woman who came between them
(Kim Basinger).

Years later, the son (Hart) of the promoter who ripped them off way back when cons the two
60-somethings into doing some video-game motion-capture work, reviving their rivalry.

Alan Arkin is the foul-mouthed old man whom Razor wants to train him. Kid can’t convince anybody
that the fight is anything but a joke, so his newly discovered adult son (Jon Bernthal) trains
him.

There’s a comforting “We’re not dead yet” message to the film, especially in the inevitable
training sequences. Stallone, who has battled age with the sorts of treatments that turn your face
into scrap iron, looks rough. But De Niro, who has been playing old men for 20 years, looks a
decade younger.

It’s a shame the banter isn’t sharper, that the whole thing isn’t played at motormouthed Hart’s
normal speed. His zingers lack the pop he usually delivers.

Stallone has never been the most graceful with a line but is convincingly tough. And he makes
the
Rocky references work. Handed a glass of raw eggs to chug, he cracks: “Fighters still do
this? Looks like a lot of cholesterol.”

De Niro isn’t given enough funny stuff to do.

The film is all very much in the style of director Peter (Get Smart) Segal: slow, sentimental, slick and sadly recycled. But it’s perfectly passable
holiday entertainment for people who dated during the
Rocky and
Raging Bull era. Just don’t expect this
Grudge Match to be much of a challenge.