Monday, June 4, 2012

I've been missing you...

Did y'all miss me? I'm pretty sure you must have because I've been missing myself and if it's gotten to the point where I miss myself, well you know it's bad. I didn't even know I was missing. Or that my aim was that crappy.

The reason I haven't been around is largely work-based but I'm also wrapped up in other writing projects at the moment so haven't been giving my blog the time and attention it deserves. As evidenced by the fact that I completely missed the month of May. Bad blogger! Bad! No cookie!

The other problem I'm finding is that I get these great ideas for blog posts at 2 am, and they're so clear that I'm sure that I'll remember them in the morning, and then, well, I don't. I'm going to put that down to the lack of sleep in the wee hours of the morning and not the fact that every single day of my life I'm aging and the brain cells that I have accumulated appear to be undergoing spontaneous combustion.

So...as a result, this morning I decided to jot as much as I could down from the wee hours mental rambles. And now for your viewing pleasure...

1. I need to clean out the vegetable drawer. Seriously, this is the stuff that keeps me awake at night. KEEPS.ME.AWAKE.AT.NIGHT. And I can now hear you all asking, well, why don't I just clean it out and be done with it? Because I keep forgetting it needs to be done when it's daytime. Or when it's evening. Or when I'm at home.

Apparently lower brain owns this and higher brain could care less. Frankly I suspect that higher brain should just stab lower brain, but lower brain has some automated mechanism to stop that. No wonder I'm awake, with those two fighting all the time. And I doubt yelling "Settle down you two, don't make me come in there!" will really work. They know I'm squeamish about blood. And brains too. Bastards know way too much about me.

2. I bought a basil plant that needs to be planted somewhere but I'm feeling so lazy about it, I'm considering just making (more) pesto and being done with it. Of course, I still have the pesto from the last time I made it (the great food processor debacle of 2012), so that's kind of a lame decision. No, I'll just have to wait until the plant diessuck it up and deal with it .

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Okay I'm back. It's really not my fault, I was paged to Facebook to attend a thread about my boobs. And not one that I started either. *ponders if my boobs need their own page*

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3. That part above about no cookie is a total lie. I have a cookie on my desk right now. SUCKERS!

4. I forgot the rest of my list.

5. Oh yeah, I made a note on my phone (technology, bitches!). A shampoo bottle rant! Why oh why do the manufacturers insist on making the same shaped bottles but with openings on opposite ends of the bottle for shampoo versus conditioner. Seriously, it's hard enough finding my hair first thing in the morning never mind trying to figure out how to open them.

And how the heck am I supposed to tip whichever one upside down to get the last dregs when the top of the bottle is slanted. Now I need to make my husband McGyver something to get the bottle to stay up so I can get my full money's worth of this stuff.

It may look pretty but did we do any sort of a usability test in the real world? No? Thought not. That's the last time I believe one of those commercials with all the scientists standing around in lab coats telling me how awesome their stuff is. I'm no scientist and I can figure it out. Hmph.

6. #5 is a first world problem. It might even only be a my world problem.

7. I make way too many lists.

I have another idea for the next blog post so stay tuned. Don't fall asleep. And don't wake me if I do.