This is the spiritual journey of me, Eccles, my big brother Bosco, and my Grate-Anti Moly. Eccles is saved, not sure about Bosco, and we've got real problems with Anti.

This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles

Friday, 22 January 2016

Pope introduces hair-washing rite for women

Pope Francis has shocked traditionalists with this week's twenth-ninth change to Catholic teaching and practice - introducing the
rite of hair-washing for women on Holy Thursday.

"Hmm... those look like nits to me." The Pope washes a man's hair.

First reports suggested that the change would involve the washing of women's feet, although many women find this offensive, not least the
implication that their feet are anything but clean and fragrant. However, the original letter signed by Cardinal Sarah (who, paradoxically, is not a woman,
as far as we know) was in error: in fact this year, priests will be expected to offer a permanent wave to devout Catholic women.

The Vatican-approved rite is demonstrated at the Rosica hair salon.

There is some debate about the scriptural authority for head-washing (foot-washing was traditionally regarded as being for men only).
Proverbs 25:22 does insist, "Thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee," but
this is not a formal recommendation, as the next verse says "Don't try this at home, folks!"

More relevant is Jeremiah 9:1, "Who will give water to my head, and a fountain of tears to my eyes?" which is
pretty conclusive, and seems also to be warning against getting shampoo into the eyes of the faithful.

A possible side-effect of ritual hair-washing. No need for a mantilla!

Advice to priests reading this blog:
VATICO clerical suppliesTM are offering a new product "Wash, pray'n' go", which is recommended for use in the Novus Ordo hair-washing rite.
Buy now while stocks last!

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Best blog by an idiotBest blog by someone who is truly savedBlog most read by saved peopleCruellest blog attacking saintly pious peopleMost spiritual blog by a sockpuppetKieran Conry prize for virtue, modesty and humilityPottymouth Times award for the nastiest blog everStupidest pictures ever seen on a blogLeast read blog of 2015 (2nd prize to Bruvver Bosco)Tina Beattie medal for promoting orthodoxy"Utter filth" (Sheds and Shedmen, Croydon)

Bishop of Lancaster's cup for well-placed ad hominem attacks

Eccles has been named as one of the 100 most influential saved people in Notting Hell, by the prestigious Calumny Chapel Parish Newsletter.