Ovie Trice – Got Some Teeth

But not all of them. I hope at least someone from The Smoking Section will appreciate that joke.

Anyway, this Russian rap video has everything you’d expect from a Russian rap video — gangsters bragging about what appears to be Monopoly money, beautiful woman with incredible midsections who will morph into horrid-looking old ladies when they turn 25, random dudes in judo clothes — and, most importantly, Alexander Ovechkin. In a sideways hat. Rapping. All it needs is TaTU and someone piledriving a bear and it’s basically every Russian thing in history.

As a hockey fan it makes me kinda sad to see teaching someone how to do the Soviet Dougie. As a Caps fan, I have to defend it by challenging Sidney Crosby to remember an entire verse without his brain shutting down. That’s what it’s come to, isn’t it? Which guy’s brain is more irreparably damaged.

Feel free to hop over to Puck Daddy and browse the transcribed lyrics, wherein Ovie brags about all the cool championships he’s won and being in the All-Star Game. Nothing in there about the Stanley Cup, though.

Ha, yeah, no kidding. I have a way of latching myself onto terrible things. I root for the Indians because I lived in Cleveland for four years, and I root for the Caps because I lived in D.C. for a while.