A little wisdom and a little humor found in everyday life as a wife and mother in rural Missouri.

There's a Rock Star in My Bathroom

About this blog

By Susan Hillard

Iím Susan. Iíll be your guide on this adventure. As a married (since 1988) mother of three, Iíve accidentally found wisdom in the little, every day events of my life. And if not wisdom, at least Iíve found some laughs that I will share with you. I
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Iím Susan. Iíll be your guide on this adventure. As a married (since 1988) mother of three, Iíve accidentally found wisdom in the little, every day events of my life. And if not wisdom, at least Iíve found some laughs that I will share with you. I was born and raised on a farm and am now doing the same with my own children, Iíve found that each moment is a production of some sort. Drama. Adventure. Horror. Rarely a Chick Flick but always a Comedy. We are 4-H & FFA members, church-goers, sports-lovers and our hearts are faithful to agriculture and the good life it provides.
Our life may seem random to some but to us, randomness is on purpose. Routine is boring. My goal is to never be routine. These stories will entwine my experiences with my children, family and friends and general observations about human nature.

After spending over ten years working in advertising I’ve learned to appreciate the “truth in advertising”. OK. OK. Stop laughing. Well, now I’m wondering if you’re laughing at what I’m laughing at…. the “truth” part, or are you laughing because you’re thinking “wow, she held a job for ten years”?
I got my start in newspaper advertising and moved on to radio marketing. I’ve had the privilege of working with some very creative minds. April Fool’s Day reminds me of the year we did “fake” commercials on the air. Listeners could call in to win if they heard a crazy ads like “The Hell on Wheels Send-off at the Hillard-Jennings Funeral Home for that loved one going to the warmer climate in the afterlife”; “the Cheating Spouse Cell Phone Package that gets rid of those frequently called numbers that you want to keep secret”; “the Happily-Ever-After Wedding Planner that comes complete with a divorce lawyer” and my personal favorite (that never made it on the air due to content) “the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness plea for calls from those unhappy with their poop”.
It’s amazing what can happen in a production studio with endless sound effects and limitless imaginations.
My days in radio have been over for several years, but I still love to break out my best “announcer” voice and promote products. Most folks sing in the shower. Not me! I produce commercials from the bathtub…or as I like to call it “Bubbles and Babbles”.
One night last week after a long day at work, I came home to relax with a glass of wine, bubbles and self-produced infomercials. Yes, I sit there and dramatically read the backs of Bath & Body Works body wash, shampoo, and conditioner bottles, shaving lotion, and sometimes other products I grab from the medicine cabinet.
It was during my most recent “production session”, as I was in the middle of reading a “promo”, that I noticed the content of BS on the back of my son’s Axe body wash bottle; which I NOW think should be labeled “for adults only”. Using my most awesome dude voice (it's now time for you to read this in your most awesome dude voice to get the full impact), I’m spewing about “Pheonix” having the “bold scent that embodies the maverick spirit. Be reborn every day. All that’s left to do is rise to the occasion…” At this point, my little voice has dipped into the gutter for what that sentence might mean and as I move on to the next sentence on the bottle, complete with graphics, “The cleaner you are, the dirtier you get. Unlimited female attention.” Now I’m in full blown OMG mode. I bought this for my 8-year-old. OMG!
What I find interesting about personal hygiene products is the marketing approach to the target audiences. Women’s products promise “an escape to tranquility and peace…a retreat to isolate her from everything and everyone”. Men’s products however, tempt with a guarantee that he will be pounced on by a hooker, not even a hooker, someone desperate and lustful.
I guess the moral of this story is that you never know what happens in the bathroom. Let your imagination run wild. Please take that as intended for YOU to use YOUR imagination and become the rock star of your own bathroom!
Until next time, find YOUR Wisdom.... Accidentally.