Christian Courtship

Updated on January 5, 2010

Christian
Courtship: Meaning and Challenges

Introduction:

There is a thinking that we are made Christians by adoption
and grace in baptism, but that we spend our lives in the eternal possibility of
becoming Christians. In another context, we note that a Christian is a follower
of Christ; one who strives to be like Christ who himself was perfect. So, we
cannot be perfect, but we make the effort (Matthew 5: 48). We cannot as
Catholic Christians show the light and lead the way if we do not influence
others positively through our actions.

Vocation for the Married State:

As soon as a child makes this choice, elders, parents and
guardians should assist him/her in
effective preparation (Christian courtship). Such a candidate should live like
a good catholic; unceasing prayer (1Thessalonians 5: 17; Luke 18:1), regular
reception of the sacraments of penenace and Holy Communion, self denial should
be practiced.

The True Assessment:

The married life is a life of love. Mutual respect,
longsuffering, endurance and acceptance of disappointments constitute the badge
of those who love. Moreover, people cannot expect from marriage what they did
not bring into it. They cannot sow discord and disharmony and expect to reap
young men and women courteous and decent. Marriage has a veritable dynamic
aspect by which it must grow and develop and attain full maturity, but this
cannot be achieved without proportionate effort.

Challenges:

Since courtship is a step away from marriage, the courting
ones invariably face the same challenges as the married ones do. In my opinion,
it is even more challenging in courtship because the decisions made remain
binding for years—on till death.The decisions made can make or mar one’s
marriage. Foremost among the challenges facing today’s courting couplesinclude:

i.
Pre-marital sex while dating which eventually
leads to unwanted pregnancy, then forced marriage or else abortion.

ii.
Lack or downplay of love : most courting couples
are often engaged for all the wrong purposes running from acquiring wealth to
lust.

iii.
Materialism: some courting couples are after
what they stand to gain from the engagement such as money, clothing, shelter,
or other material needs

iv.
Pressure from family: Parents, guardians and
relatives sometimes directly pressure their children into marriage. This
pressure may come indirectly as peer pressure. Consequently, one may get into
marriage without having any knowledge of the necessary details.

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