Apr 26, 2009

Why I Constantly Laugh

I should not laugh at this. In fact, I should never even let this occur.

Whenever Bruno is playing fetch, whether it be with a stick or ball, he gets into a state that my friend Lisa calls "Lizard Brain." He cannot focus on anything else but the object being thrown and will obsess his full focus on the object until it is thrown.

This pisses Gino off. I've never understood why, but perhaps having a big brother who goes into "Lizard Brain" mode so quickly annoys Gino. Gino will first bark at Bruno...that never works. Gino then launches himself with full force and latches onto Bruno's jowls. Bruno is in la-la land and doesn't notice Gino. This will eventually continue until Bruno's jowls are bloody.

Those who have witnesses this in person will ask in amazement "Bruno lets Gino do that?!"

I don't think it's a question of "letting" but more a question of "Does Bruno even notice that a black pug is hanging from his jowls?!"

I try not to let Gino do this. I will hold him back if Bruno is playing fetch so that Bruno can go home with his jowls intact. But every now and again Gino breaks free from my grip and runs full force towards Bruno, ready to taste some American Bulldog jowls.

One weekend, Ryan built a beautiful bed for the crew. He painstakingly designed it, began to build it and stained it a beautiful, rich color (not shown in the picture below).

The entire time he would comment to me "I hope Bruno loves this bed. This is mainly for Bruno and his hips. Hopefully, his hips will hurt less on this comfy bed."

Enter Carmela.

She decided that Bruno is not allowed on the bed and, if he stupidly decides to try, she'll bite his freakishly large head off. And she has. Frequently. Which results in a lot of this...

Yes, that is a three pound dog preventing a hundred plus pound dog from sharing a very large bed. Yes, that is my hundred plus pound dog with hip and elbow displaysia laying on the floor (albeit with a small rug runner for some comfort). But what can you do? Every male knows it's in their best interest to not mess with a b*tch.

3) Bruno's Fear of Binder Clips

My big, tough, muscular American Bulldog ...

can be brought to quivers with the mere possession of a binder clip.

Yes, that's right, a binder clip.

Close your eyes Bruno!

He can spot them a mile away and run for the hills. Or, if the situation is dire, move full-sized mattresses out of the way to escape them. Right, Lisa?

I have to give him credit; he tries. He barks at them ferociously and sometimes even cautiously approaches them.

But it always ends with the binder clip winning. Call me cruel, but witness it for yourselves...

"Oooh! A cookie! Cool!WTF?!? That's not a cookie!"

::::stress yawn::::

::::low rumble growl::::

notice event #2 occurring in the background

"That's it!NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!"

We're working on this issue. Step one is for me to stop laughing as soon as he sees the binder clip.

But heavens forbid you fart while he is in the room with you. He'll give you a face of utter disgust and leave the room. Honestly, he acts like you just unleashed a weapon of mass distruction and the smell is too much for him to take. This from a dog who eats poo! I wish I had a picture of the face he makes, but that would mean I'd to admit to farting. And I don't do that. Ever. Only Ryan. :-p

5) Gino's Ego

Gino has a huge ego and a fierce competitive streak. Specifically when it comes to anything that Bruno does. Anything Bruno does, Gino can do a thousand times better. Never mind that pesky little hundred pound difference!

Fetching logs from the river?

No problem!

Fetching logs and swimming at the same time?

Easy peasy!

Catching snow balls?

Any idiot can do that!

Lunging for Frisbess?

Please! That's child's play!

We try not to laugh at him too much. He's entitled to his little Napoleonic ego. Having a large meathead brother constantly overshadow your skills can be frustrating. You have to remind people every now and again that size is not a limiting factor!

Secretly, I know he idolizes Bruno. He just won't ever admit it.

And there you go, folks. I hope you had a good laugh with me. This was a fun thread, despite the fact that it took me eons to finally reply. But I have a good explanation! My computer pushed daisies when I first tagged by Pia, taking along with it some of the pictures I wanted to use in this thread. But excuses are like asses, right? Everyone has one and they all stink.

At least it was worth the wait, right? ;-)

Now, we're tagging Buzz's Food Lady. We want a glimpse of Buzz Buzz Full O' Fuzz's inner most life.