I used to think of surrendering as a weakness. That it meant to give up, resign and give into something you don’t want. To be defeated and unable to fight anymore.

But surrendering is not about giving up. It’s about accepting what is out of our control. There are many things we can influence, but some things we cannot.

Think of it kind of like a washing machine cycle. If you get thrown in there (or jump in there) and the machine is started – the cycle will run. Unless someone hits the emergency stop button, it will run until it’s done. You can spend that entire time fighting it, being angry OR you can lean back and let the drum spin you around, like it will inevitably do anyway. Maybe even enjoy the ride.

If you agree with any of the above you’re probably thinking “I can see why this mindset would be useful, but how then do I choose to DO it?”

It’s simpler, yet harder than we think:

You have nothing to prove. Sometimes we spend 80% of our time trying to control the 20% of a situation that we can’t. Choose to surrender to those 20%, acknowledge that they are what they are and focus your energy on the things you can influence instead.

Exhale responsibility, guilt, shame and all the rest of it. Release. Stop carrying it with you. No-one will ever give you a medal for soldiering on and carrying heavy things that you can’t change anyway. To give ourselves permission to put certain things down, means we can pick up other (more important) things down the track instead.

Surrendering does not mean that you’re giving up or resigning. It only means you stop running, rejecting or fighting (high energy consumers) to focus on the things that you can influence and that matters for your future (support and flow).

This too shall pass. If you can’t change the now (or the past!), choose to change the future.

Every single client I have ever worked with has a different balance between when they need to accelerate/challenge something and when it’s time to surrender. Most people choose to fight for way too long, wasting very precious energy on something that is going to run its cycle in a specific way whatever you do.

If you need to press the emergency stop button and get out that’s fine, but don’t choose fight the cycle that’s started.

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