My last five Mother’s Days have all begun the same – breakfast in bed, served by a smiling husband and giddy children. They wake up early (or maybe it’s that they let me sleep late), working hard to make me feel special. On my tray, there’s always a handmade card (lots of glitter and handprints) and a store-bought card (affection from my husband). A sentimental craft monstrosity (conceived by an uncrafty man and created by small children) follows.

Every part of Mother’s Day is designed to make me feel special and appreciated. It works. I go to bed every year wishing the day didn’t have to end.

In the middle of my (so rare) pampering, it’s easy to forget the women who made my family possible – my mom, my mother-in-law, and my grandma.

Mother’s Day has renewed meaning for me this year. My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer in the fall. This is a disease with a life expectancy in months, not years.For the first time in my life, I considered my future without her.

She’s still here, still fighting, not ready to depart the earth any time soon. Her health makes me grateful for every single visit, for every family dinner, for every photo and video with the kids.

The thing is that none among us will live forever on this earth. (And aren’t we happy about that?!) We will all lose our parents to the riches of heaven, most likely before we’re ready.

For now, we can use Mother’s Day as an excuse to celebrate our moms and mothers-in-law. And even though Mother’s Day has technically passed, we can still celebrate all month long, right?

Ask her how she’d like to spend the day. Some grandmothers want more time with their grandchildren. Some prefer one-on-one time with their daughter. Some might like a quiet afternoon alone. Ask your mom what would make her feel special.

Serve her. Jesus washed the disciples’ feet; how can you serve your mother? Make her a beautiful meal at your house (so she doesn’t have to do any of the cooking or clean up!). Clean her house. Return her books to the library.

Get your kids involved. If your kids are old enough, get them involved in baking a treat for Grandma. They will love having made a real contribution, and she will love eating their sweet treats.

Give her a gift certificate for something she wouldn’t splurge on. Does your mom love pedicures? Museums? Bookstores? If she’s never tried a massage, this might be a nice time.

Give her a beautiful flower. Every single mother I know loves to get a beautiful plant. I’m sure there are a few exceptions, but those ones would probably like cut flowers instead. And if all that fails, buy chocolate.

Take her to tea or a fancy brunch. Something about a fancy tea house makes me think of a quiet afternoon with my mom.

Give her a hug, tell you that you love her, and thank her for all she’s done for you. No matter what you do, make sure this is part of your plan.

— Tara Ziegmont is a professional blogger, blog coach, and SEO specialist. She created an internationally-syndicated, award-winning blog called Feels Like Home in 2007 and continues to publish it today. Tara homeschools the older of her two crazy children and lives an old-school back-to-basics frugal lifestyle while working full-time from home.

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