Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Shamanic Soliloquy

With each inhalation, the colors increased in saturation, expanding into waves that resembled a rainbow ocean around me. The curtains slowly parted and dots of brilliant violet light swiftly dancing around each other in no apparent order swam through darkness as an opening in a forest came into view. This meadowy riverbank was lush, astoundingly vibrant and spiced with scents that only nature is capable of providing. My eyes inhaled every shade of green I've ever seen and some hues I didn't even know existed. Purple and orange and yellow wild flowers speckled the ground and dandelion globes glowed while mountains framed the sky. My first step out of my skin was met with soft earth and warm grass. Walking beside the river, I swung my left foot into it every few yards until I just had to drink it. The clarity of the water was unparalleled to anything I've ever seen or felt or tasted before. My entire being began to crave the feeling that only my feet had experienced. I bathed in the river and made my way through the unkempt overgrowth to a giant Oak and laid on a grassy patch beneath it. Sunbeams peeked through the leaves and the breeze kissed me head to toe whispering secrets only she knows. There were no sounds to alert me, but I felt him coming.

I opened my eyes, sat up and waited. The top of his head came into view in the distance as he too walked along the river. The closer he got, the warmer I grew and as more of his being came into my view, tears began to stream down my face. The corners of my mouth jumped up and I felt my breath quicken. He beamed so brightly, so purely, so perfectly. His beauty absolutely overwhelmed me. Warmth transformed to heat which began to creep steadily, filling me head to toe. I looked down at myself to again find every single piece zipping around dancing excitedly.

He turned and made his way through the path to me and I saw his own dancing violet dots pulsating as his grin met mine. His eyes I don't feel I have the vocabulary to describe in entirety. All I can say is that they are bright and wide and warm and loving and comforting and they are home. I have lived inside them many, many times before this. He took my hand to stand me up, wrapping me inside of him the moment I had fully risen. With each breath and each beat our combined light brightened. This seemed to excite the birds as they sang and danced in the air and branches above us. The breeze returned to join the birds singing her song and the tree gently bowed, gifting his shoulder with a leaf. For hours we danced, we swam, we played and did as we always do. We loved.

He sat against the trunk of the Oak and I climbed onto his lap. Face to face, we spoke and he told me what I already knew."I'm not ready yet." I smiled. "Of course you're not. Nor am I." He smiled and we began to laugh at each other. The sun was setting painting the sky with clementine and pink. He gathered wood from beneath the tree and I gathered water from the river. Digging a shallow circle surrounding the kindling, I left enough space for us to lay down within if we wished and drenched it to keep the fire contained. With a stick in his hand touching the one in mine, we set the fire ablaze. As the sky grew darker, the fire grew warmer and we laid for hours watching the flames. The moon rose and everything seemed to awaken once again. The fire had flooded my eyes with orange and now glancing around they indulged in hues of indigo. We sat up to face each other and as I took in the newly painted surroundings he took my hand and held it open towards him. In my palm he placed a conch shell and smiled. He kissed my lips, my nose, my cheeks, each eye lid and my forehead lingering at every spot for a few seconds. His head then rested upon my chest and he fell asleep, fingers intertwined with mine. I fell into the rhythm of our breaths as I watched the moon continue her journey before surrendering to sleep as well.