School Age Children Development & Parenting Tips (6-12)

Raising school-age children can be awesome. Watching them try new activities, cheering them on at athletic events and applauding their accomplishments at recitals are usually some of the high points for most parents. However, achieving success is often preceded by frustration and sometimes learning to accept one’s weaknesses as well as celebrating and building on strengths. When will equipped parents can be excellent coaches for their child no matter what the endeavor.

While toddlers and preschoolers need constant supervision, school-age children become gradually ready for more independence. However, learning to make good choices and exercise self-discipline does not come easily for many. Parents need to impart a moral code that the child gradually internalizes. As children struggle with these important tasks parents must be able to provide praise and encouragement for achievement but parents must also be able to allow them to sometimes experience the natural consequences for their behavior or provide logical consequences to help them learn from mistakes.

The synaptic connections in motor and sensory areas are firmly established and the process of elimination synapses (pruning) in these areas has begun. Because of the activity in higher brain “control” centers, children increase in levels of attention and ability to inhibit impulses.

By the time they’re in the primary grades, children have gotten the hang of basic dexterity, language, and social skills; now they’re eager to practice and refine them. They like to challenge themselves, intellectually, with puzzles and games that test their growing knowledge or involve strategy (checkers, card games), and physically, with pick-up sticks, jacks, roller skates, pogo sticks, and ball games.

There are lots of other imaginative options than can broaden this group’s horizons, from craft sets for making jewelry and puppets to a microscope, nature-study kit, or a printing set. You might also turn the passion for collecting that many children develop at this age into a special link between the two of you: for example, by adding a special doll or action figure or set of stamps.

9-14 years

The maturation of the frontal lobe continues in adolescence. (Pruning continues during the stage). The Speed and efficiency of thought increases, spatial working memory improves, emotional regulation becomes greater, planning and problem solving skills increase, and scientific reasoning and ability to understand one’s own thinking develops. Play becomes sophisticated and increasingly symbolic.

Play in the preteen years often is a group production, and the pastimes kids prefer reflect that. Many complex head games for several players, and equipment for organized sports or activities (baseball bat and glove, racket/paddle games) is often a hit. Electronic games are also popular, played either on en masse or by competitive turns.

At the same time, preteens lavish lots of time and concentration on individual interests, which might include books, music elaborate construction of model- building sets, mature tools, sewing kits and paints. By this age their tastes and skills are pretty well defined, so targeting toy and entertainment purchases to likes and abilities of each child is important.

Toys and materials for play and learning for school-age children including action figures, building sets, games, sports and recreational equipment, video games, and books from Amazon.com: 5-7 year-0lds8-13 year-olds14 years & up

STEM toys are handpicked by Amazon’s toy experts to excite young learners with hands-on experiments and explorations of electricity, earth science, and simple math. Kids gain exposure to STEM topics through creating their own dinosaur fossils and other cool projects.

NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children By Po Bronson, Ashley Merryman A best selling book based on sound child development research this book is “one of the most influential books about children ever published, Nurture Shock offers a revolutionary new perspective on children that upends a library’s worth of conventional wisdom. With impeccable storytelling and razor-sharp analysis, the authors demonstrate that many of modern society’s strategies for nurturing children are in fact backfiring–because key twists in the science have been overlooked. Nothing like a parenting manual, NurtureShock gets to the core of how we grow, learn and live” (publisher review).

Child Behavior: The Classic Child Care Manual from the Gesell Institute of Human Development By Frances L. Ilg, Louise Bates Ames, Sidney M. Baker “Since it was first published, Child Behavior has become classic reading for parents and professionals around the world. This authoritative guide offers the basics of child development, addressing exactly how children’s bodies can affect their behavior. The authors not only discuss what to do to treat specific behavior problems but actually advise parents on how, in many instances, they can prevent many common and more serious problems” (publishers review).

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish This is one of my favorite books to recommend to parents. Communication is so important in establishing and growing cooperative and loving relationships. The advice will help you develop a strong bond with your child as well as mutual respect. This is definitely parenting 101.

Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting By Ph.D. John Gottman, Joan Declaire There are many skills a child needs to develop. The ability to regulate emotions can be learned. This approach helps the child learn to understand and accept their feelings as well as express them appropriately. This changes the game of parenting from how to control your child to teaching them self-control.

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 By Thomas W. Phelan A well written book that provides the basics of creating a positive parent-child relationship with the tools to motivate children to master the basic communication, problem solving and behavioral skills necessary for success at home, school and in the community. You’ll find tools to use in virtually every situation, including advice for common problems such as: • Whining • Sibling rivalry • Reluctance to do chores • Refusing to go to bed or getting up in the middle of the night • Talking back • Stubbornness

SOS: Help for Parents, Third Edition By Lynn Clark A great set of tools for helping parents work with young children (3 – 7) to master the art of self-control, cooperation and motivation to engage in age appropriate activities. I have been using this book with parents since the first edition was published. You learn the best methods for improving your child’s behavior and for reducing stress in your life. You learn essential child rearing rules, how to avoid four common child rearing errors, primary methods for increasing good behavior, major methods for stopping bad behavior, active ignoring, Grandmas Rule, how to avoid nine common time-out mistakes, time-out for toys that misbehave, how to handle children who rebel against time-out, using points and contracts, logical consequences, natural consequences, behavior penalty, and helping your child express feelings.

The Parent’s Handbook: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting By Don Dinkmeyer Sr., Gary D. McKay, Don Dinkmeyer Jr. One of the country’s most popular parenting guides. Helps parents meet the challenges of raising a family today. The Parent’s Handbook shows parents how they can become more knowledgeable, confident and successful in relating to their children. Discusses misbehavior, communication, encouragement, natural and logical consequences, family meetings, drug and alcohol abuse prevention.

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