Thursday, June 4, 2009

So things are looking up again. I have gone back on orders and found out a few things. First off I found out that I might not get fired, YEAH!!!!! According to the Medical Board process even if I do end up with a permanent profile it depends on the type of profile I get that will determine if I'm allowed to stay in the military or not.

My unit is doing pretty good from what I could gather from bits and pieces of conversation with some of them. All my love goes out to them and I hope they all come home in one piece.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

You know I got back into the military a year and a half ago to persue a better lifestyle. I was broke and had a worthless job, basic lost everything I owned. To include my apartment, and 95% of everything I owned when I got evicted. The funny thing is is I had over 30 job applications at different locations and noone would heir an ex-soldier. I didn't get it. But thats another story.

Back to the topic at hand. I got back in as a photo journalist. It sounded like fun, and easier than being a Cav Scout. So I went to DINFOS and did really well. Got back to my unit and began to get ready to Mobilize for another deployment in Iraq. In the MOB process I got my back, which I had a known prior injury in, checked out. Three MRI's and 25 x-rays later, I am no longer deployable, EVER.

In fact, I now have to go to a review board because the Army, IAW AR 40-501, chapter 3, does not think I am physically fit enough to meet the standards of staying in the military. So I am in the process of getting a medical discharge.

I'm sorry I can't be there for you 211th, I love you guys, and my thoughts and prayers are with you always. You guys better come home, all of you. I wish you the best and I hope I'm still around when you get back. I plan on you guys doing great things, and please keep your heads down. Don't be afraid of the unknown because pretty soon it will be all you know. I wish I had better words of wisdom. I miss you Hookers already.

Friday, January 23, 2009

This being the day of realization for myself. I understand that in life there is but one undisputable truth. That truth is that we all die. We as humans will inevitably parish into this earth in one form or another. We may not choose to except this fact of life, but acceptance is not needed for death to find you. He cares not of your positon on the matter, he will take you just the same.

The good news to this sad story is that although we cannot stop death we can in a sense choose how we meet him. Whether that choice be to meet this force standing or kneeling, crying or laughing, proud or ashamed of the life we have choosen to live. The choices we have made up to the point of that unwanted last choice we will ever make.

One thing we do have going for us is that we are all flawed. We are imperfect, and this is a good thing. If we were all perfect then we would all be the same and noone would stand out with any gift that was given to them. Whether that gift be to play the violin, act, sing, dance, pitch, run, jump or soldier.

So my imperfection in itself is what makes me unique, and my choices are what further make me who i am today. I may take a few things from all the people of this world that i come into contact with, but all those things combined with my own personality make me the only one of my kind.

How will i choose to die is a question that I have asked myself many times, yet I will only know the answer to that when death stands before me and all I have left to do in life is make that final choice. Most people of this world have never asked themselves this question, but I emplore you to look deep within yourself to see what type of person you are.

Is there a chance that you could look back on your life at the choices you've made and regret. Your answere should be of course, because again noone is perfect and therefore noone has made all the right choices at all the right times in their life. For all those that read this do me one favor and remember you can always go back and try to change mistakes with new choices.

But you can never go back and change that final decision. You can regret dying, that I think is acceptable, but you should never regret how you died. You will die I promise you that, but make it a good death. As some would say go out with a bang, or die on your feet fighting to the last breath. I say die happy, smiling and completely free. Free.