“You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.”
Flannery O’Connor

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Once upon a love lost time…

There was a girl who lived in Lindenhurst, NY who, for a
summer, had my heart in her grasp and I never intended that it be released. It
took place in the mid to late 1970’s in that faraway place that I remember
thinking was simultaneously glory, joy, utter bliss, and extreme ecstasy. It is
a location that must be where the Rapture takes you. All that is good and kind
is everywhere, and your soul, no; your very being
is complete. A place like no other that might only be found in a specific set
of eyes.

I am not able to access her name from the rapidly deteriorating
hard drive between my ears. I can, fortuitously, rescue a memory of opulence in
the orbs with which she observed me in my foolishness.

We met while we were gainfully employed as taxi drivers at a
small cab stand at the Long Island Railroad station in Babylon, NY. The money
was terrible and the hour’s even worse, but it sufficed to pay a weekly rent
and allowed for enough to enable the noble search all young men required in
their quest for female companionship and whatever mind altering, mood changing
substance essential to the discovery of true love.

The particular advantage to my spirit that this unique lady offered is that there was no need to wander the pubs and beaches in the
execution of the marvelous mission that is coital coupling. We got off at about
11:00 pm and the world was, literally, our oyster. Pub crawling was not
necessary, and quite cumbersome to us as we crossed the threshold into the
adventure of discerning if either of us might just be, THE ONE AND ONLY.

We would ride across the bridge spanning the Great South Bay
parking out by the nearest beach. We would lie on the hood of her car while
watching the sky and the surf. We would drink beer or wine and talk about grand
ideals while listening to the FM station playing love songs. We would look deep
into each other’s eyes before we embraced. We would skinny dip, but not get too
close. We had promised to wait for the gift of intimacy until there was no doubt
that we had, in fact, uncovered THE ONE AND ONLY.

This pausing in the exercise of release that most young
people yearned for served as both a blessing, and a decided disadvantage. This
was not something my Neanderthal mentality was properly adept at. I have
visions of cavemen and the lack of romance required back in those glorious days
prior to language or etiquette. I realize this is a racial memory, but in my
misspent youth I was not the judicious and perceptive intellect you have all
come to love and submit your time to. Today I can listen to “Here comes the
Sun” by the Fab Four and reminisce of the women in my life I have loved. Back
in the day, it was much more “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” by Meatloaf. So
why agree to this absurd abstinence?

It was her eyes.

I would look in them and feel safe. I would wonder why the
only thing I really wanted to do was see the shine in those sky blue near
translucent orbs lit by the moonlight bouncing off the water, and hear her soft
voice telling me things I had never heard before. I never found an answer to my
speculation.

It seemed as if God had sent an angel to me. She would smile
and tell me goodnight when she dropped me off closing the night with deep
embraces. My heart would ache for the sight of her until I got to work the next
day. Then, right at about 11:05, Shangri La would open and all else would
evaporate in the face of the magnificent creature that God had allowed me to
hang with.

The memory is still breathtaking, and it comes to me from
time to time to, I believe, remind me that I am alive. There is much in life
currently that is ugly, unpleasant, and foul. One thing that is not revolting
is the memory of a love lost in time.

The reality of the time proved not as splendid as the
memory. Summer turned into fall, and then winter. It became too cold to sit out
by the beach unless we were extremely inebriated. An old boyfriend of hers
moved back to town and wanted to rekindle old times. I picked up a decidedly
exotic girl in my cab one night and discovered that adorable eyes existed in
other woman. We drifted apart and marched on our individual ways. We never did
discover the wonders of the flesh, but that was fine. Like I said…it was her
eyes.