Bears are bad, but Lions remain worse

Jim Caldwell was named coach of the Lions on Tuesday. (Andy Lyons / Getty Images)

The RosenBlog

The Choice (and remember, death is not an option): The Bears' retaining defensive coordinator Mel Tucker or the Lions’ embarrassment trying to hire a head coach?

The chokefest that marked the way these NFC North rivals closed the regular season roared right into the offseason.

After weeks of breaking down the broken-down defense, the Bears announced that they wanted Tucker to continue to run their defense, and I’m wondering, are they trying to get into the NBA lottery, too?

But whatever you think of the way Marc Trestman’s Bears make decisions, it would appear that the only thing dumber than Jim Schwartz’s football team is the football team’s bumbling attempt to replace him.

Schwartz was fired on Black Monday. A lot of coaches were fired on Black Monday. That flooded the market. Additionally, a lot of candidates emerged from the coordinator ranks.

There are only 32 NFL head coaching jobs, but just look at the way many candidates jumped at the chance not to coach the Lions until Jim Caldwell took the job Tuesday.

Jay Gruden’s name popped up all over the place. Maybe it was because of his last name instead of the last game played by Andy Dalton. Whatever, Gruden chose to work for Daniel Snyder instead of the Lions. Daniel Freakin’ Snyder, do you hear me?

After the Chargers lost in Denver in the second round of the playoffs, Ken Whisenhunt seemed to be a lock for the Lions. They had planned to send a private plane to bring him to Detroit, and you could understand why.

Next, behind an aging Kurt Warner, Whisenhunt later took the Cardinals to the Super Bowl.

This season, he coached Philip Rivers to his most productive season and a road playoff win.

If you’re a Bears fans, that was the scariest name of the bunch. Whisenhunt had the portfolio to make Stafford a winner instead of a yardage pig.

But then, Whisenhunt chose the Titans. Sure, the Titans offered $1 million more, but there didn’t seem to be any negotiating.

Maybe the Lions and the lame family running the franchise were exhibiting more of their dithering ways. Maybe not, but the fact is, Whisenhunt didn’t wait around before choosing the team with the starting quarterback named Nobody Good and backed up by Nobody, Period.

The stupid must be palpable in Detroit’s front office the way it always is on the field. People who interviewed there must sense it. People who aren’t candidates apparently took any other open job if only to make sure they weren’t linked to the Lions.

What’s more, word came Tuesday that Brian Xanders, the Lions senior personnel director, would interview with the Dolphins for the open GM job. Everyone out of the Detroit pool!

It all seems to be good news for the Bears. Now, can we get the Ford family to buy the Packers?