John Malkovich Is a Good Guy to Have Around in the Event of a Freak Scaffolding Accident

Last April, we read that Ryan Gosling saved a British blogger from oncoming New York City traffic, and this weekend, we learned that John Malkovich—the singularly eccentric thespian and two-time Oscar nominee—has also helped to save the life of a civilian, although in much more heroic fashion. According to news reports, 77-year-old Jim Walpole, a retired General Motors autoworker, was visiting Toronto on Thursday when he stumbled onto scaffolding alongside the King Edward Hotel.

What happened next was a horror—he slit his throat as he fell down the scaffolding.

“The blood was coming out so fast,” said [Walpole’s wife] Marilyn, who started to yell for help.

Out of nowhere—believed to have been having a cigarette at the side of the King St. E. hotel—a man darted in and quickly assessed the situation.

The man turned out to be Malkovich—in town with the traveling production of The Giacomo Variations—who applied pressure to stop the bleeding until paramedics arrived at the scene.

According to another witness, Ben Quinn, Malkovich also offered reassuring words to Walpole, telling him not to “worry, the Canadian medical system is excellent” and that “everything was going to be first class.” Thanks to Malkovich’s help, Wadpole has recovered from the gory accident.

Meanwhile, the Toronto Sun, which seems to have been stockpiling clichés in the event that a Hollywood actor would come to the rescue of a civilian in the city, sets up the events in embarrassingly corny fashion. Ahem:

You just couldn’t write this script. Real life can be stranger than fiction. Sometimes there is a happy ending.