It has been a weird month for me. I had decided to take this year a bit slower to process my new project, my goals, make some sense of the emotions in my head. But slowing down, coupled with a couple of bad shows, meant I ended up being still in my sadness. I am still processing the big changes in my life, the absence of my Papa especially and after running for 6 months I have just stopped moving at all. So when Meera Sal suggested I join her for a weekend getaway to Nepal, I asked myself, why not? I didn't want to keep running from my thoughts anymore, but being still isn't helping much either. So here I am, to inspire myself to balance.

Our last minute decision to ditch Pokhara and come to Bhaktapur meant a quick hotel pick. So imagine our delight, when we find that ITS THE BEST HOTEL IN THE WORLD. (Peacock guest house) I'm not kidding, incredible architecture surrounding a courtyard built adjoining a woodwork museum and store where during the day the artisans work in the Patio accompanied by lovely hosts who've made us so comfortable.

will write more on the guest house tomorrow!

Our beautiful room

Ran off to eat some Nepali food before exploring. This is "de Arena" next to our guest house. (Bhaktapur)

Buff

Nepalese biryani and chicken keema curry

I won't deny me and Meera Sal have spent time grieving our woes as we do, but we also looked around us. It's not black and white, I don't magically appear in Nepal and forget everything, but it excites me in coexistence with my previous thoughts, an emotion I haven't felt since Istanbul.

Right now it seems travelling is the coping mechanism for my depression, and I'm okay with that. At least something works!

Streets of Bhaktapur

We were following random back alley paths and came across this monastary, where we were graciously asked to enter by the monk, who seemed delighted that two women of Muslim birth would want to sit in on their prayer session. Apparently we are the first "Muslims" to enter the place.

We shut our eyes and listened to their chants. I felt like I was in a mosque during Jumma. There's something about places of worship, which continues to draw me to such places, with and without my wariness of certain religiousities; the way people gather to pray together. It is a beautiful kind of energy that I feel amongst my musician friends when we create, that true sense of devotion.

When we we came out it was pitch dark. In general outside Kathmundu, whenever I've come, it's the kind of place where there's real darkness. Last year in Nagarkot I would stare at the mountains and moon. Meera Sal and I mused how this is the natural way of life, but us city people find it "dark."

Needless to say. With all my memories of Nepal, my fleeting doubts of escaping again, feeling guilty blah blah, I am incredible glad I'm here. The fresh air, warm sunlight, cold dark night, on day one- I'm already feeling more alive than I have in weeks.