Tejus is the epitome of maturity and genius. He would make Einstein jealous, and Batman already is. The most handsome glorious Creation ever made. People who don't respect him already will soon begin to know how awesome he is

The tejus, or tegus, genus Tupinambis, are large, fast-moving lizards of the family Teiidae. They inhabit tropical and subtropical regions of South America, where they feed on insects and small vertebrates, soft fruits, leaves, and birds' eggs. They measure 60 to 90 cm (2 to 3 ft) long and have powerful legs and long tails. The teju lays its eggs, usually six to eight in a clutch, in termitemounds, which serve as perfect incubators with well-regulated temperature and humidity.

A strange creature indeed. Eats cheese for a living, is more useless than man nipples, and partakes in paranormal activity. These unusual creatures are commonly found behind Safeway and Wendy's and less commonly around Starbucks, Walmart, and the library. In these locations they are usually: Getting high, eating cheese, talking about rubber duckies, playing in a trash bin, and rarely, jumping on cars. Be wary of the tejus. It is not known what their purpose is, hence being useless as man nipples. However, they are rumored to attack violently, so I recommend to GTFO if you see a tejus.

Bill and Nick are having a nice Lunch at Wendy

Bill: Hey what the fuck is that guy doing he's jumping on cars and smoking some weed or something? Wtf??