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Well crikey, those are a bit good so far. (I particularly like the reference to grooved chainsaws, nicely done, Dentharial :-). I've been practising my creative writing. Everyone likes gory, viscerally described violence, right?

God damn it to hell, I was most of the way through "Twas the night before Blood Bowl"

(and all through the Haven, not a creature was stirring, not even a Skaven).

Poo bums.

I figured it might well happen, since we're all going to be mining the same traditions. I think you should go ahead and post yours anyway, and then we can battle it out with a freestyle Blood Bowl rap battle at the next live draw after that.

Originally Posted by groovychainsaw

Well crikey, those are a bit good so far. (I particularly like the reference to grooved chainsaws, nicely done, Dentharial :-).

That particular line was a real product of luck. I was struggling to find something else to go there, and was trying to settle for one of several not-so-good options (for example, "Boot studs were sharpened and armour destroyed/The halftime refreshments seasoned with steroid" or "Boot studs were sharpened and armour attacked/With a click of his fingers, the ref's spectacles cracked").

Eventually I just ended up going to rhymezone and listing out random words that you could do to armour and helmets. When 'removed' turned up 'grooved' as a rhyme, I felt the opportunity to do an in-joke was too good to ignore, even though 'helmets removed' still seems a little weak to me.

Started writing a blog for video games, roleplaying, game mechanics, and AARs.

Rather unfortunate timing on this, but it was already finished by the time Dentharial posted, so I'm just going ahead with it. Also mine's bigger. ;-) (Holy balls the original had a lot of verses, but I felt I had to match them.)

The Game Before Christmas

‘Twas the game before Christmas, and all over the pitch
Not a creature was stirring, except Nuffle (that bitch)
The weather was rolled and, with seasonal cheer
Both dice came up sixes - a blizzard appeared!

The players positioned, each to his own square
With three at the front (no one wants to go there)
Troll in the middle, stood facing an ent
(Legally “treeman”, but we know what they meant).

An orc kicked the ball, through the air it did soar
“Dey’ll prob’ly catch it, stoopid agility four”
But all was not well for the pointy-eared gits
Can it be? Praise Nuffle, it is, it’s a blitz!

The ball’s spiky shadow on new-fallen snow
A signpost to show da boyz which way to go
But standing in quite the most awkwardest place
A bloody wardancer! “Quick boyz, punch ‘er face!”

They started their drive now, so lively and quick
(If, for speed comparison, some dwarfs you pick)
Orcs doing their best to be speedy, not lame
Their coach whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now black orc! now lineman! now sure-handed thrower!
Troll's in a tackle zone: on, goblin and blitzer!
To the top of the pitch! - not forgetting the ball -
And injure those stupid elfs, injure them all!”

As fast as a halfling when dinner is seen
They poured up the pitch in a river of green
For greenskins they all seemed remarkably fleet
(The blitzer had picked up both sprint and sure feet).

And then, in a twinkling, success was annulled
The block on the wardancer was double skulled!
The crowd held their breath, was the match turned around?
As onto the pitch Nuffle he came with a bound.

He scattered dice round him, on pitch and on stand
And they’d each roll a one, wherever they’d land
A bundle of dead players strung on his back
(Three elfs and six skaven, for those keeping track).

His snake-eyes they twinkled! A sight far from merry!
Did the greenskins look scared? They didn’t (not very)!
For the odds of their failure they’d greatly reduced
By means of a reroll they’d smartly induced.

The coach clutched the dice, carved from kroxigor teef
To roll two more skulls would be beyond belief
He shook them about, cast the dice on the ground -
And “in your face Nuffle - it’s defender down!”

And then with a crunching the wardancer’s face
Was punched in, her teeth flew all over the place
The goblin, to make sure that she was kaput,
Then fouled her to death with a sneaky wee boot.

Nuffle spoke not a word, but faded from sight
Though he often was felt for the rest of the night
As elfs failed to dodge, orcs to pick up the ball
By halftime the score still stood at nill-all.

In the end, neither team felt the match was a dud -
The elfs won in touchdowns, the orcs won in blood
And those left alive heard Nuffle exclaim:
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good game!”

One of my favourite types of music to listen to is remixes and rearrangements, just because I love hearing how people put different spins on things. Also, for years now, I've been rewriting lyrics to songs for various communities I was a part of, because I enjoy seeing how to twist jokes in and hide double meanings.

What I'm getting at is that I don't by any means feel any sense of competition or crowding with people doing the same thing.

Actually I really like seeing other people handle the same poem that I did, and seeing how differently it came out. In the 2 examples we have so far, I like how we took different perspectives. For me, it was very much an 'In-character' meeting with Nuffle. For 'hands, it was much more on the game mechanics side, and Nuffle as a fickle dice tweaker.

I can't wait to see what anybody else comes up with too.

Last edited by Dentharial; 05-12-2012 at 04:10 PM.

Started writing a blog for video games, roleplaying, game mechanics, and AARs.

Yeah, I felt it was different enough that I'd be fine just going with it. I got the opening rhyme and went from there, and I was pretty pleased when I realised I could fit the players into the "Donner and Blitzen" bit.