DH cracking a few too many "fat jokes"

So I'm not usually that sensitive to my dh picking on me or cracking jokes... but lately it seems like everyday he makes a point to point out how "huge" I'm getting with a joking tone. My boobs are huge, my belly is huge, my legs are huge... etc etc. When I get pregnant I do tend to gain everywhere pretty quickly, and with my first I gained 45 pounds and lost 55 within two months post pardom without any effort and people actually commented that I was getting too thin even though I was eating everything and anything (thanks to breastfeeding lol!) So this time I was just going to not worry about weight gain and know that it will fall off, it's just what my body likes to do and as long as baby is healthy, that's all I care about. The thing is, these little comments are really bothering me... It's like he thinks its ok to say because he's "joking" but really I know he isn't attracted to the "pregnant shape" and really thinks those things. He wouldn't say it not joking, but yet thinks it's "just a joke". I don't want to feel insecure about my size, and I'm only 14 weeks! 26 more weeks is a LONG time, and ALOT more weight! Do you think he just doesn't get that it's hurtful? Or is he trying to hint that I need to watch my weight more?? Either way it's hurtful... not sure if other's deal with this too. Now I'm starting to panic that I'm gaining way faster than I realize, and last time it wasn't really this fast and that I'm setting myself up for gaining more like 70 pounds and never losing it. :(

So I'm not usually that sensitive to my dh picking on me or cracking jokes... but lately it seems like everyday he makes a point to point out how "huge" I'm getting with a joking tone. My boobs are huge, my belly is huge, my legs are huge... etc etc. When I get pregnant I do tend to gain everywhere pretty quickly, and with my first I gained 45 pounds and lost 55 within two months post pardom without any effort and people actually commented that I was getting too thin even though I was eating everything and anything (thanks to breastfeeding lol!) So this time I was just going to not worry about weight gain and know that it will fall off, it's just what my body likes to do and as long as baby is healthy, that's all I care about. The thing is, these little comments are really bothering me... It's like he thinks its ok to say because he's "joking" but really I know he isn't attracted to the "pregnant shape" and really thinks those things. He wouldn't say it not joking, but yet thinks it's "just a joke". I don't want to feel insecure about my size, and I'm only 14 weeks! 26 more weeks is a LONG time, and ALOT more weight! Do you think he just doesn't get that it's hurtful? Or is he trying to hint that I need to watch my weight more?? Either way it's hurtful... not sure if other's deal with this too. Now I'm starting to panic that I'm gaining way faster than I realize, and last time it wasn't really this fast and that I'm setting myself up for gaining more like 70 pounds and never losing it. :(

I feel ya. My DH makes "huge" jokes to me, too, and I don't gain much. he just likes to say it. he says he likes my cute little baby fat. Like that's flattering or something? I have told him over and over don't call me fat, but he still does it. He's actually overweight, so I don't have any qualms about telling him right back. Also, his mom told me I have permission to punch him in the face if he calls me fat. I haven't gotten the nerve yet, but if it gets out of hand we may just let him know I'm serious with a crack in the face. Heh.

I feel ya. My DH makes "huge" jokes to me, too, and I don't gain much. he just likes to say it. he says he likes my cute little baby fat. Like that's flattering or something? I have told him over and over don't call me fat, but he still does it. He's actually overweight, so I don't have any qualms about telling him right back. Also, his mom told me I have permission to punch him in the face if he calls me fat. I haven't gotten the nerve yet, but if it gets out of hand we may just let him know I'm serious with a crack in the face. Heh.

My DH actually told me he could see new red stretch marks on my hips tonight! Just not what I needed to hear, especially as I'm only 13 weeks!! And I couldn't even see them, so was quite happy in my ignorance!! I think men are just insensitive and don't realise the effect words have on us pregnant women :)

My DH actually told me he could see new red stretch marks on my hips tonight! Just not what I needed to hear, especially as I'm only 13 weeks!! And I couldn't even see them, so was quite happy in my ignorance!! I think men are just insensitive and don't realise the effect words have on us pregnant women :)

Tell him it's really hurtful, and stop. Period. Not "I wish you'd stop" not "I'd like you to stop" and not "tee hee hee! Oh stoppppp" but calmly and directly, "That hurts my feelings. STOP." repeat that with every comment and every "aww but it's just a joke!" don't say "I dont care if it's a joke" just say that one thing, flatly, calmly, and walk out of the room. Give him attention when he's not being a d!ck.... Because he's just trying to get a rise out of you and get attention.... So decline to give him attention when he's being a jerk, and give him more when he's not. This'll train you for the baby being a toddler, also.

Tell him it's really hurtful, and stop. Period. Not "I wish you'd stop" not "I'd like you to stop" and not "tee hee hee! Oh stoppppp" but calmly and directly, "That hurts my feelings. STOP." repeat that with every comment and every "aww but it's just a joke!" don't say "I dont care if it's a joke" just say that one thing, flatly, calmly, and walk out of the room. Give him attention when he's not being a d!ck.... Because he's just trying to get a rise out of you and get attention.... So decline to give him attention when he's being a jerk, and give him more when he's not. This'll train you for the baby being a toddler, also.

Yeah, seriously. Men and toddlers share a brain sometimes. My ex-h went thru a phase where he wouldn't bother me unless I was on the phone, then he'd ask me all sorts of questions out loud like I wasnt doing anything else!! I finally looked at him and said HELLO ARE YOU THREE? I mean, seriously, it was the freakin weirdest thing! And everyone in a pregnant woman's household goes thru periods of wanting more attention - the kids, the dog, the husband, etc. Basically you're giving him time-out for saying mean things, but it works on all ages, for real.

Yeah, seriously. Men and toddlers share a brain sometimes. My ex-h went thru a phase where he wouldn't bother me unless I was on the phone, then he'd ask me all sorts of questions out loud like I wasnt doing anything else!! I finally looked at him and said HELLO ARE YOU THREE? I mean, seriously, it was the freakin weirdest thing! And everyone in a pregnant woman's household goes thru periods of wanting more attention - the kids, the dog, the husband, etc. Basically you're giving him time-out for saying mean things, but it works on all ages, for real.

hehe... you have a great point. Seriously between him and my toddler "acting up" for more attention during this pregnancy (my son is going through a NAUGHTY phase... they don't call it terrible two for nothing!!) I'm about to just walk out and spend a day by myself on the beach, IN SILENCE! :)

hehe... you have a great point. Seriously between him and my toddler "acting up" for more attention during this pregnancy (my son is going through a NAUGHTY phase... they don't call it terrible two for nothing!!) I'm about to just walk out and spend a day by myself on the beach, IN SILENCE! :)

I hear that. But if you're giving extra attention to your son for acting out... Somehow Mister Man Of Household has decided hey that works! (I mean seriously my dog does that sh!t) .... Another tactic might be to tell him "I know you're being a jerk just to get my attention. How about we skip the jerk part since we're adults and you just ask me politely instead with your nice-husband words?". I can't say for sure if you'll ever have another kid by him again after verbally chopping his balls off like that, but it's a nice last resort... LOL.

I hear that. But if you're giving extra attention to your son for acting out... Somehow Mister Man Of Household has decided hey that works! (I mean seriously my dog does that sh!t) .... Another tactic might be to tell him "I know you're being a jerk just to get my attention. How about we skip the jerk part since we're adults and you just ask me politely instead with your nice-husband words?". I can't say for sure if you'll ever have another kid by him again after verbally chopping his balls off like that, but it's a nice last resort... LOL.

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