This was my first time ever doing MDMA, I took a baloon of Nitrous before I took the pill, to get me in the mood for tripping. I loved the Nitrous, it made buzzing go through my body, and I smiled brightly. I took the pill right after that, I hadn't eaten for about 8 hours, so my stomach was empty. I chewed the pill with my front teeth, cause I was told that it would hit me faster that way, then I chased the nasty taste with cold water. It took only about 15 minutes before I started feeling different from every day reality. I was sitting by my cousin on a couch, then he gave me a back massage, and it send chills through my whole body, then I gave him a back massage.

Then I stood up and made myself feel fear, I usually do this on shrooms to test my ability to pull myself out of a bad trip. It was like a bad trip was almost impossible, the feeling of anxiety was numbed out, all I felt was tingling on my body instead. I than became very happy, I was in heaven, now I see why they call it Ecstasy. I hardly knew any of the people at this party, but they were rolling too, and it was like we already knew each other. I talked with people I didn't know, as if they were great friends of mine, we talked about negativity and why does it exist? What is the purpose of negativity? Why dont we just never feel negative again?

Everyone kept mentioning my pupils to me, so I went into the bathroom to check them out. I looked in the mirror and they were absolutely huge, I had no eye color, it was just one big huge pupil the took up almost my whole eye, it looked so awesome.

Then my cousin gave me two Nitrous wippets, and someone else gave me another one. I agreed to take a tripple nitrous hit, I borrowed this big can from someone, I put all three whippets into the big can thing one by one. Then I put the balloon on it and pulled the lever. This balloon was absolutely huge, I sat back on the couch as everyone gathered around me to give me an E rush, I looked at everyone and realized that I loved them all. Then I said, 'Goodbye everyone' with a smile, and started breathing in and out of the balloon. Next thing I know I'm floating above my body with the greatest feeling of joy, and I looked down, and I could see everyone around me, giving me an E rush, and everything was grey, my surroundings were grey, and all the people giving me an E rush looked grey. Then their seemed to be a moment of nothingness, then I came back to my body, with everyone still giving me an E rush. I was like, 'Holy Shit!, I was floating out of my body!, everything was grey'. Then someone said, 'I know!, it's always grey for me too!'. This experience was absolutely amazing, and I will never forget it.

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