Thanks for the comments, all! Will definitely keep feedback in mind with further works. A few notes:

The piece was basically just a character piece between Xian and Rosa, specifically Rosa; It was intentionally a character piece rather than a story piece thing because I wanted to play with the two different versions rather than pose one over the other, thoughsecond!Rosa got the better end of the stick it seems, and Xian's assholery was both built from people I've known and meant to play off the overly eager, way too invested individual as sort of an... analysis of how people can get that way even if they didn't start there?

Xian is multiple jokes/references all in one: Xian Sheng -> Xiansheng, which is MIster. He's Mr. Mister, which is meant to be a play off of Mario Mario. http://nintendoeverything.com/miyamoto-says-marios-full-name-is-mario-mario/ If in the traditional form of family name then first name, he's Shengxian, which is one term for a sage or wise man (which he deliberately isn't).

Rosa is named for Rosalina of the Mario series. They're pulling matter out of stars because Mario is supposed to collect stars, and QPUs are referencing the video the prompt comes from. It was all basically an long form bad joke on that element of the games; after all, wouldn't Mario like to have something grab the stars for him?

That's about all the minor jokes/hidden stuff I didn't see people comment on. Again, thanks for feedback, all.

Oh, right. That was sort of an off-hand reference to one case in the Tales where Chaucer interrupted halfway through one of their tales and so he switched to a totally different story. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_Thopas

(And "dimensional interval analyzer" is also a reference to the meme source, specifically the need to determine how far you need to/can go into the QPU stuff with any given motion.)