Saturday, July 27, 2013

Day 139 Saying yes when my gut said no

In order to traverse the sticky and yet slippery slopes of changing food habits, I'm having to listen to different parts of myself besides my mouth. This may sound like it follows on the heels of yesterday's post, but it does so rather indirectly. For it was my gut I needed to listen to on Thursday when I talked to my coach instead of my "good girl" persona.

My good girl agreed to do the food journal. She wanted to please the coach and she (the good girl) argued that thinner people keep track of what they eat. But my intuition, my gut, said don't do it. What's she going to tell you? Eat fewer nuts? Know that already. Eat fewer snacks? Know that already. Nothing's really changed since the last food journal entries where I carefully ate moderate portions only while I was doing the journal and then, when that was over, ate the other way.

Thanks is due to my friend Barbara Joy, who pointed out the change in tone from full of life in earlier posts to full of shame in yesterday's. She also pointed out that food restriction is by nature dieting, something I'm determined not to do. So I'm rethinking how I go about this and who's in charge.