FJM’ing Lamberts Links – Again.

Well, as promised last week (mentioned?), I’m sticking with the FJM’ing of Ryan Lambert’s Links. Ryan writes a Monday column “What We Learned” for Puck Daddy that mentions every team in the NHL and provides a link. So, being the geniuses we are over here at BB, we’re going to use his research and comment on the stories. Woohoo! Round two, here we go.

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What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: Apparently the Ducks have done about as much talking to Bobby Ryan’s agents regarding a new contract as you or I have. Which is to say none at all. He said he still wants to play in Anaheim though, so there’s that.

So that’s the most confusing piece of information ever. Not contacting your team’s burgeoning young star when he’s a few days away from being able to negotiate with every team on the planet can’t help keep the price low, can it? Just give him all that money Giguere was getting.

Having multiple suitors helps get you more, so maybe Ryan’s agent is just dodging phone calls until July 1st?

Atlanta Thrashers: Atlanta doesn’t just base everything on hockey skill when it comes to player evaluation. Said GM Rick Dudley: “I think they say ‘Well, he scored 46 goals, he’s got to be a pretty good player.’ [I might] look at him and say ‘He’s a big guy that scored 46 goals but he’s dumber than a sack of hammers.’ If that’s the case, he’s going to have a tough time playing in the National Hockey League.” I’ll give Phil Kessel(notes) the bad news.

Hey, Dudley’s got a point here. You can only be so good while being dumb. And while plenty of NHL stars have tested those limits, the brightest shining stars can usually string together a coherent sentence.

I mean, my god, look at that picture on the left. Wouldn’t you take Seguin first just so you could use him in marketing campaigns? Hall looks about a week away from getting an endorsement deal selling bags of oats.

Buffalo Sabres: After years of taking European losers, the Sabres are leaning toward North Americans in this draft. Puck Daddy has been unable to confirm what must have been the appointment of new assistant GM Don Cherry.

Well yeah, when was the last time a European helped win a Stanley Cup? I mean, really. .

…Oh, Malkin won the Conn Smythe last year? It was Zetterberg the year before that? Huh. Well there goes that theory.

Could you imagine if you were going to be told, in an instant, that you have to spend the next three years of your life (minimum) A) In Edmonton, on a losing team, in a division with lots of travel, and with not a lot of support to make you look good. OR B) In Boston, on a winning team, within five hours of a quarter of the league, and with a quality team around you to help you look good.

Seguin’s agent is probably just sooooo bummed his client looks like he’s going number two.

I really, really, really, don’t want a KHL team beating an NHL team. I’m already hearing more player-friends (it’s like being a student-athlete) drop KHL bombs, I don’t need those guys to have any more incentive to go over there.

Chicago Blackhawks: Team president John McDonough used his one day with the Stanley Cup to go to his boyhood home in suburban Chicago. Several hundred people showed up to see it. I mean him. Yes, they were all there to see him. John McDonough. And not an inanimate piece of metal.

Ron Artest’s post-game championship interview included a mention of his new single ”Champions” (only single?). Well, it’s here m*****f****rs. He proves the Cup is a big celebrity by saying “takin’ shots a vodka out The Stanley’s Cup. Yep, that’s right, THE STANLEY’S. Can I critique grammar in a rap song?

Even crazier Dallas Stars news? Mike Modano is batting around playing with a different franchise next year. Please, please say it ain’t so, Mikey. Why do players do this to themselves? Don’t they see how sad it is when other players do it? As Wyshynski said, Yzerman did it right.

Detroit Red Wings: Here’s an understatement for a headline — Detroit area native Cam Fowler is “a likely first-round pick.” If he’s still around when the Wings draft at 21, every GM drafting after, like, No. 4 needs their head examined.

Makes sense. They have a kabillion picks and would, ideally, like to be “actually good” not “have a decent post-season and trick people into thinking they didn’t suck last year-good”. I guess there was that matter of a 3-0 collapse to address….

Los Angeles Kings: The Kings are apparently about to hire John Stevens as their new assistant coach. The only thing holding up the deal is Dean Lombardi’s probably-pending contract extension.

I’ve recently discovered that Devils fans actually exist. From what I can tell, they have no idea how to react to this trade. Their thoughts: “But…Kovalchuk? Martin? Is Arnott still good? Is he old? Are we paying him too much? He was here for the Cup, and scored that big goal…. are we happy? Mad? WTF JUST HAPPENED?”

New York Islanders: Alex Burmistrov, who will probably go in the top 5 next weekend, is confused, I think. Said he of his visit to Uniondale, “Beautiful place, that Long Island.” I don’t know how sarcasm works in Russia, buddy, but that can’t be right.

Weirdest part of the dig is…. Long Island is fahkin’ gorgeous, and I’ve lived some pretty places (BC, Alaska, Salt Lake City, for example). It’s lush and surrounded by ocean, while Burmistrov is FROM RUSSIA. Can’t blame the kid for likin’ it. Well, except for Nassau Coliseum. That place SUCKS.

I always love those breakdowns, like when Griffey gets hurt, and it works out to two million an at-bat or something. Seriously I do – it’s fun to pretend the guy was like, at home all day, drove to the park, took an at-bat and his paycheck, and left. It’s silly, but fun to be indignant about their whopping salaries.

Phoenix Coyotes: Much of the roster for the Coyotes is undecided for next year. Brilliant analysis: “The picture will become clearer after the draft Friday and Saturday in Los Angeles and the start of free agency July 1.” You don’t say?

Phoenix’s roster is a little more variable than other teams, but sure, that July 1st stuff kinda goes without saying. Still waiting for my offer, Desert Dogs.

My uncle who interned for Stan Fischler told me that Stan has had more than his share of ideas like this, and for the most part, they BOOOOOPONIKAROVSKYBOOOOOO! (But seriously, there are plenty of fun ideas to bat around, but lets keep it simple. College hockey is talking about calling icing on team’s that are short-handed. Lets rein it in here.)

Nothing wrong with Gormley – great player great fit. You just hate getting the guy called the “unsexy pick” as a fan. Doing it right is great if you’re a coach, if you’re looking for entertainment (and I am), it’s fun to get a guy who’s a little more electric.

Thanks for sticking up for LI. I was as perplexed as you when I read that yesterday. LI is a beautiful place (just unbelievably expensive to live there). Although if all you saw was the Coliseum and the surrounding area, I guess you may think otherwise. That’s why the Isles take these kids away from there and show them the real LI.

HF interviewed him earlier in the year and he acknowledged that there was an agreement in place between him, Barrie and Ak Bars to have him play his draft year in the OHL and then return to finish his contract (one or two years) in Russia before pursuing his NHL career.

I know prior to this season, Dmitri Kulikov had to buy his was out of his KHL contract (which had a similar CHL clause) before he could join the Panthers. Perhaps Burmistrov has done the same thing.

AiH: it’s not as much about wanting to play in one place or another as it is honouring contracts. Burmistrov wants to play NHL hockey, that much is clear just by talking to him. But if he does have an existing contract in Russia, which he did earlier in the season, then that might delay his jump to North America.

The ‘canes blog had an open discussion on whether they should take Brett Connolly…or whether he’d even be available by the time you got to the 7th pick. I feel badly for the kid, but he’s got hip issues at 18, how can any team seriously be considering him a good investment for their 1st pick?

Am I wrong here? If yes, I’d love to know why.

I expect a KHL victory and a new decade of Russian players flooding the NHL (and I’m ok with that – but I did grow up a Red Wings fan so it’s expected).

Deirdre, I think there’s a difference between hip injuries and issues. From what I gather, Connolly had an injury, tried to come back from it too early, and hurt his other hip. But it’s not like it’s a genetic condition or that sort of thing. At least, that’s what I gather. He’s supposed to be a great player, pretty much in the same class with Seguin and Hall.

Much of Minnesota is craving hockey talk and we get a comment about a guy who already works for the Wild and may not want to change his role with the organization and an insult to a jersey that battles the Red Wings every year for the highest annual sales. (I hope the worst jersey in the NHL comment was about their road whites – I don’t think people buy those anymore. Love the home reds and the thirds.)

All the Canucks d are soft like little throw pillows…
Isn’t durability an important trait for a defenseman? Ask Duncan Keith if you don’t think so?

Campbell is a super awesome puck mover and started playing more physical and better defensively when he started losing ice time to Sopel (I would take him before anybody on the Canucks) Sopel, I mean
don’t diminish soupy because he is the overpaid 3rd best d man on his team. (what an embarrassment of riches)
Carle had quite the quick career turnaround and played like a man in the postseason. Not something I could say for anybody on Vancouver… Instead of making fun of Vancouver’s defense (too easy) let’s make fun of the glaring weaknesses up front or in goal or behind their bench… ha ha
Anyways who is gonna get Versteeg or Big Buff? You know quality hockey players

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About Justin Bourne

I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."

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