Sex & Double Standards: The Story of Karen Owen

A recent graduate of Duke University is quite literally in a class all by herself. Student Karen Owen put together a 42-page Power Point presentation “evaluating” the methods of 13 athletes with whom she had sex on campus. Back in May, Owen wrote a fake thesis entitled “An Education Beyond the Classroom: Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics.” In it, Owen reveals very intimate descriptions of sexual encounters she’s had with each of her 13 sex partners at Duke (accompanied by partially naked pictures of them). She details each man’s “pros” and “cons” and ranks their sexual prowess, using what she called the “official f—” list. Roll over to the Fat White Guy’s joint for the full PowerPoint.

As of this week, the PowerPoint allegedly only intended to be a joke amongst three friends was circulated all around campus and eventually all over the internet. (I say allegedly because the PowerPoint was drafted with way too much precision for it to simply stay kept amongst friends. For me, all signs point to her knowing exactly what she was doing). She has since indicated (or gave the impression) that she was sorry.

Initially, I was just going to let this story fall by the wayside. I didn’t want to use my blog to add to the already increasing stardom this girl is receiving. But I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity to show – in living color – how the notion that men are the only ones ‘celebrated’ for their sexual behavior is categorically false. Obviously, mainstream shows like Sex and the City (a hoecase showcase of cosmo women having sex with virtually every man in New York), underscores how female sexual behavior can generate a certain level of international validation. But the story of Karen Owen provides a real-life example of this phenomenon. Minus, of course, the expensive shoes and martinis.

I also post this story to point out the clear-cut double standards that exist in our culture. For all the talk about how men are celebrated for their sexual exploits, had a male student pulled off a stunt like this, he would have already been expelled, subjected to lawsuits, and would have probably been tossed in the slammer. Meanwhile, Owen has been featured on the Today Show, interviewed by Jezebel.com and is rumored to have been contacted by HarperCollins for a book deal. If this is true, then I present glaring proof that remorseless promiscuity really DOES pay off. Such is the state of our culture, I suppose.

Make no mistake about my position. I still graciously concede that there is overwhelming evidence of sexism and misogyny in modern day practice; often reinforced by how we socially reduce women to inferior, exploitable sex caricatures. Further, I fully appreciate that an innumerable amount of sexism occurs which forces vulnerable young women into compromising positions vis a vis men who are disproportionately dominant. I get that. But this does not (or at least, it should not) give women a license to engage in exploitive and embarrassingly mean practices themselves. To dismiss Owen’s mock thesis as a joke, retribution for socially marginalized women, or – heaven forbid – a reclaiming of sexual freedom is utterly ridiculous. Worse yet, it spits in face of anybody who ever espoused the ideas of personal responsibility, decency, and respectability.

Men are guilty of being heartless jerks when it comes to how we treat women. No doubt. But what happens when a woman does the same thing?

Screw all of you sexist ass men. Why shouldn’t we commend her for subjecting men to the objectification, embarrassment and harassment that we’ve had to deal with all our lives?! Just the fact that you’re criticizing this shows that you’ve got some learning to do.

What’s ironic about this whole thing is that the guys she slept with probably slept with as many or more women. Yet nobody seems to care about that. I think she’s being punished more for doing the same thing and less about her decision to post it. Guys go out and have as much sex as they want and get called studs. Women do it and they’re whores. Do you NOT see the hypocrisy?

As tempted as I am to make this all about the indiscretions of one irresponsible female, we shouldn’t leave out the other folks complicit in this nonsense. First, there are her “friends” who found the need to let the PowerPoint go beyond their enjoyment. Then, there are the folks over at Deadspin who first published the article without protecting the IDs of the 13 “subjects.” At least the Jezebel site tried to protect their identities. Blame can be passed around here.

We can turn this into a question of double standards and have everybody toss in an opinion. But one thing that I think should be pretty universal: privacy should be respected and protected. We may choose to broadcast our own business, but broadcasting somebody else’s business for the whole world to see if wrong. Showcasing someone’s personal business and violating their right to privacy is a serious betrayal of trust that could have far reaching implications, not only for the victim but also the assailant.

I hope she had fun. There is nothing intrisically wrong with sexual intercourse. In fact I know from personal experience that it is quite pleasurable. Of course there are consequences as in anything you do in life, and with sex they can be devastating. Having said that, culture guides human society, and from a cultural perspectitive I’m not getting involved with a female with this type of baggage. Period.

All this talk sounds like a big, fat double standard to me. The same double standard that’s been perpetuated for centuries: women who have sex outside of marriage are whores, and men that do the same are just being men. What this young lady did was no different than what men do every day – no different than what her PARTNERS did. When you start taking men to task for their behavior, then you’ll have some ground to stand on when you take women to task for the same.

And Ben, there’s no way for you tell how a person is or what kind of “baggage” they have simply because they’re female and enjoy sex. That presumption is sexism of the worst kind.

“Proud Feminist”, while I do agree with a bit of what you said, it’s mostly straw man talk. You’re pretending that men actually engage in this behavior, then using that basis to mitigate what Owen did. Men may brag about their conquests and get commendations for them, but we don’t normally report them to our friends with the level of detail Owen used. Also, despite what you read in the comments section, her crime is that she humiliated these men, not that she slept with them and bragged about it.

PF, I mean no disrespect by saying this, but what you’re saying is completely ludicrious. I’ve talked about this story (and your blog, Andre. Shameless plug!) with other feminists and the twisted logic you use is always the same. Most people are actually objecting to what she did on the grounds that she humiliated the men involved. You, like other “feminists”, twist things around and make this out to be a double standard about women and men not being free to be equally promiscuous. Really, do you SERIOUSLY believe that there is some sort of double standard that allows men to do this type of thing (you know, the type of thing that this story is ACTUALLY about)? How many men have actually judged women’s online and gotten away with it? For that matter, how many men judge womens’ performance at all?

I wasn’t going to comment on the feminist standpoint of this story, but I guess I should. Proud Feminist, I don’t deny your sincerity as a feminist, but real femninists values focus on equality. This has nothing to do with sexually active women being stereotypically labeled, but instead has everything to do with the fact that a woman callously or thoughtlessly invaded people’s privacy, and hurt others. I feel even worse for the current women potentially dating or interested in the men in this “presentation.” How are they feeling knowing their mates are being broadcasted on the internet like that? How can those men carry on with their lives (at school, work, etc.) knowing they were subjected to the worse kind of public embarrassment to be found? There is no excuse for what she did. There is nothing empowered about sleeping with 13 people in 4 years, and anyone who does so–man or woman– has a problem, especially in this age of STDs. If a man did this, I have no doubt that you would be saying the exact same things (or worse) about them.

Dispicable excuse for a person. Anyone who is so self centered to disrespect her partners and lay it all out to the world is not worthy of living in this society. She needs some major psychiatric help. Down the road, IF she ever matures and gets mental help she will look back and be appalled. Now we have innocent males who have been hurt and had their lives exposed because of this narcissistic woman. This ain’t a gender thing. It’s a human thing.

Its funny how all are quick to judge and pass an opinion. She emailed this to “friends” who showed her they really were not her friend. We all have shared an experience in detail to a “friend”. Each and every one of you done something that if someone you knew leaked it to the world would be crucified as well. So before doing God’s job of judging others…look in the mirror. She needs prayer not judgment. Besides most of you read the story so your just as bad as she is for writing it…LOL Personally I dont care but after reading your comments I felt I help some of you look in the mirror. Especially those of you who are acting like saints behind a computer knowing you just had a one night stand with someone recently & if you went to college had an “excusable” druken night more than once and also maybe a gay experience.

Hey Dre,
All you have to do to understand the difference in today’s society between how women and men are treated sexually, is look at teachers who molest their students. (On our dime, no less). Men are frog-walked into the courtroom in orange and handcuffs. The women are in full make-up (intended to make them look “hot”), fresh after their appearance on the Today show. Men slap each other five and lament that “They wish they had a Hot teacher like that who would molest them.” And women get sympathy and therapy. God save the young man who wasn’t ready, or who now suffers from some freaked out “Mommy syndrome” because his mom hit’s on his friends and he’s sexually confused. This country is more F***ed up than I’ve ever seen it. The truely sick are glorifed, while we sit with baited breath for anyone who tries to act right to slip up in any way. Some where down the line we have decided it’s better to be a devient in every way and be proud of it, than to try to act right and have everyone praying they can find something, anything, that you do wrong.