A Sister Wife at the Globes: Angelina Jolie

It’s Duana’s reference. And if you don’t get it, it means that Angelina Jolie looks like she’s Wife #8 in Bountiful, BC. That, or a settler.

Goddamn this f-cking dress.

And the hair.

Sasha called it Michelle Duggar. Not having an image of Michelle Duggar in my mind, I had to look it up. OMG. Like exactly.

This is also the hair you find when you Google “polygamy and women”.

Perhaps it’s an act of charity. You know she loves charity. Perhaps she’s being charitable to Jennifer Aniston, watching at home, after sending away a young buck 20 year old with serviceable talents, smoking away her loneliness, it’s just the motivation she needs to not order a large pizza and go for it face first.

Having said that, you know these two are always good for some ballroom cutaways. She was reclining on him for a while. And then she fixed his bow tie. And, best of all, in a moment we had to rewind…

The Jolie reapplying her gloss during someone’s speech.

What do you mean the Jolie has to reapply her lipgloss???

The Jolie thinks about lipgloss? Shouldn’t the Jolie be thinking about the starving people? No. The Jolie needed gloss because Brad sucked it off her when they left their seats. Sometimes off camera Pitt Porn is better than live Pitt Porn.

I would pay a lot of money for a livestream off stage pointed towards the tables during the Globes specifically for these moments. I would pay for someone to sneak in and make this happen. Would you chip in?