From the gravel parking area between
the railroad tracks and the east bank levee of the Mississippi River, the hounds
set out on trail weaving through the narrow streets of the area known as Carrollton for
about a mile top and across Oak Street, past Carrollton Station Cafe, around the streetcar barn on Willow Street.

This would likely have been a place for
a beer check but none was mentioned.I,
still hobbled with a knee problem, could not run the trail.Anyway, the trail led across Carrollton
Avenue and along narrow streets of the lovely old neighborhood past a small
cemetery that has seen many of us in previous Hashes, continuing to and and across Broadway Street, along Freret
Street past the library on the campus of Tulane University.The flour took the pact toward the south through
quadrangle in the front part of the beautiful campus, through one building and
out on the front lawn, across St Charles Avenue into AudubonPark and the beer check on Walnut Street.

After soaking up a cold beer and the
pristine scenery of Walnut
Street and AudubonPark, the
pack moved on, following a nearly straight line back to On-in.

The Circle:

Religious advisor:

Piston Penis

The Hares and the Trail:Doc Cousteau
described what he saw in the trail marks which were made by a tennis ball
coated with customary flour and bounced once to make a perfect disk on the
ground.Giggles recounted an experience
with a campus policeman some years previous and said that experience was the
impetus to use the tennis ball system.

New Boots:

Just Benny and Just Tavis,
Bar Fine Beaner made ‘em
both cum.All three are assigned to the
brand-new United States Ship New Orleans which will linger in the New Orleans area
for a while longer before heading for San Diego.

Visitor:

A crewman on the new ship from San Diego
H3 was Just Terry.Porno Prick and Sex
With The Beast from Vancouver,and the two new boots and their
benefactor named in the previous department.Bar Fine Beaner’s current hash chapter is San
Diego H3.

Bar Fine Beaner
who hashed in Okinawa had a gift for the Grand Mistress.He presented G String
with a tee from Okinawa which she changed into without any provocation at all.

Accusations:

Not in Hash attire.Most of the hashers present entered the
circle.

Birthday:

Light Days was coerced into the circle,
Lusty Lady was her surrogate drinker.

*Scribe: On Da
Rag (Tom)

Errors?Omissions? Send an e-mail to:

tom43cunningham@yahoo.com

Or, attend the next Hash and make
arrangements with the Religious advisor to bring it up in the circle.

New
Orleans Hash
House Harriers

Hash No. 973

Hares:

Puppy Pumper, Hand Job, Gooey
Blow, Beer Fart

Date: 18 March 2007

Venue:TheIrish~Italian Parade in Metairie

the Americanized Suburbof

New Orleans, Louisiana

The Trail:

In pristine, sunny and cool
weather, the pack left on trail from the car park of the bank which has become
a tradition on the day of the Irish~Italian parade heading easterly along
residential streets to Canal Street (in Metairie,not to beconfused with World-Famous _), along the canal which it straddles to the
now world-famous Seventeenth StreetCanal, along same to Metairie Road.The trail followed Metairie Road, a winding, picturesque commercial
street that follows a ridge of high ground upon which is located Old Metaitie
to a strip shopping center where the pack found the beer check after about two
and a half miles of running.

From that beer check the pack were
led along circa 1930 residential streets to a neighborhood bar and cafe called
Mama’s Place.Was there a beer check?*

After either stopping at or
passing Mama’s, the trail led to the frontage road for I-10, across and passing
under the elevated highway and more or less straight back Chase Bank and the
on-in.

The Circle:

Religious advisor: Spread ‘Em

Spread ‘Em stepped up and called
the hashers gathered to order and opened the proceedings with a tribute to G,
principal co-founder of the worldwide phenomenon known as The Hash House
Harriers.She led the pack singing and
signing, ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot’.

Visitor:

Sir Song Man, a Dutchman who
started his Hash Life with Jakarta H3, has been known to hash in Hanoi and is a
regular Hasher in Beijing.A civil
engineer, he is in New Orleans to help plan the rework of theflood protection system here in New
Orleans.Sir Song Man confirmed the
pronunciation Gouda (chese) sounds like, ‘how-da’.He serenaded with a song about a Gay Marino
who turned out to be a Gay Senorit-O.In his song, the word ,’gay’, has the original definition, meaning
joyous and happy but the modern corruption held true as well.

Naval Jelly, spouse of, and Our
Own Vann who is a veteran NOH3’er.They
hang with So H.appy I.t’s T.uesday Hash House Harriers near Washington DC.

The Hares and the Trail:

When opinions of the trail were
solicited by the RA, some expressed disdain for the large number of re-groups,
that there were too many hills and some mention of Metairie Grammar School,
presumed to be to many thereof.(But
that is, and was, a good school.)

Bend Over Rover said, ‘I’ve been
wankin’ it.’Head Rice said that he,
too had been wankin’ it.Does this
imply that they had been absent together?

Accusations:

Juggling Whorafist was called to the
circle to juggle his balls.While
committing that act, Gooey pointed out thathe was wearing a shirt from a competitive event, a marathon held in
Chicago.Just as down-downs were
prescribed, Gooey Blow recounted that before the spectators gathered for the
parade that he not only exhibited his penins, penns, penins...the kind that are
used for bowling...but even juggled them.

Over Achieving Scum Bags:

In the Ten-K competitive event
(Run on the Bayou) held the previous day, Spread ‘Em finished first overall
among women and Juggling Whorafist finished second in age group.

Thanks to all on the MisManagement
Board who made it happen, the burgers were great.

Thanks to Sir Song Man for
offering his expertise on flood control to the City of New Orleans.

The trail began, sort of, on Metairie Court at Tidy Bowl Man’s
Mother’s house, which was until a few months previous the place where Tidy
lived as well, and led the pack one block to a three-way intersection with
Metairie Road and Fagot Street (‘Fagot’ is pronounced, ‘Fah-GO’–yes! really!),
a right turn there and a half block to the branch library and the space in the
car park where NOH3 was granted (unbeknownst to the library administrators)
prime space to set up camp. Metairie Road is a
picturesque, winding street along which would pass the Saint Patrick’s Day
parade.

At about eleven thirty, Tidy conducted chalk talk and ten minutes
later the pack took off in pursuit. The trail led the pack westerly
out of Old Metairie across Causeway
Boulevard on the treacherous, overland route to
the east-most part of an area known as ‘New Metairie’. The trail
zigzagged along residential streets to the starting point of the parade on Severn Street at RummelHigh School.
This was delineation from St Pat’s Hashes of previous years so those parade
goers got to experience the vista of hashers running in green dresses.

From there, the trail went somewhere but most of the pack simply
followed the parade route along Severn Street, to a left turn
onto Metairie Road a pass under
the elevated Causeway Boulevard, continued
along Metairie Road back to the
library and On-in.

The Circle:

Religious advisor: Spread ‘Em

New Boots: (We had at least one. She had an injured knee and said
she was from Gretna.)*

Visitor:

From Baton Rouge H3; WeekEndPass and (Spouse)*,
Crotch Critter, Pussy On A Rope and (Spouse)* and Medicinal Hand Job.

ReBoots:

Cock Pit and Sucks His Own. Was Father Scumbag a
reboot, too?*

The Hares and the Trail: The work of the hares
was praised Hash-style, as usual and the hares did a down-down.

Naming:

Hell must be freezing over because the hasher who was becoming
known as, “Forever Just Tracy” will forever enjoy explaining to hashers
worldwide just exactly why she was named, “Beat Me Eat Me".

And then as a hasher was named the week previous, Queen Gaping
Orafice 969 III, it was thought
that since he won lots of throws from his juggling capabilities and that his
new name would not fit on name tags and such and since it included both a Roman
numeral and modern (Arabic?) numeral that an acronym would be nearly
impossible. So for humanitarian reasons his name was reviewed
during the Circle and changed to, “Juggling Whore-A-Fist”. He did
say that he would probably introduce himself as “Juggs” and answer questions as
they arise.

Accusations: There were many.*

Thanks: Thanks to the Jefferson Parish Library for
their generous provision of a venue for the NOH3 Green Dress Run...insomuch as
they knew anything about it.

*Much is missing from this report... the scribe was drinking ‘and
all that, soooo...

*Scribe: On Da Rag (Tom)

Errors? Omissions? Send an e-mail to:

tom43cunningham@yahoo.com

New Orleans Hash House Harriers

Hash
No. 971

Hares:
Chicken Pot Guy Doc Cousteau

Date:
4 March 2007 Venue: Mid City;

Carrollton Avenue,
Ursuline Street

And
Points Between in

New Orleans, Louisiana

The
Trail:

On that
sunny and not too chilly Sunday afternoon in the parking lot of a strip mall that
was still mostly untouched since being flooded by the Great Hurricane of 2005,
the hares, Doc Cousteau and Chicken Pot Guy fled with Pot Guy laying true trail
and Doc setting the aberrations along Carrollton Avenue to a right turn on the
railroad tracks that follow a strip that was once a navigation canal that
connected Lake Ponchartrain with the area now called the ‘French Quarter’.

The
trail led along a drainage canal to a crossing of same on an eight-inch
wide concrete beam northward, passing through a neighborhood
known for qualities other than quiet, tranquil evenings and safe, secure living
to a beautiful little park that was created by the convergence of Ursulines and
Bell Streets at North Lopez Street and the beer check. Doc’s many
checks and false trails must have been crafted well because the pack had
arrived at the beer check within minutes of each other.

From
the beer truck, the pack were led to a bridge crossing of Bayou St John, and
into a picturesque neighborhood northward to the south boundary of City Park, a
street named, as one might imagine, City Park Avenue. The trail led
along same to a left turn back into the neighborhood on Allard Street, snaked through the
streets there,ended back on Orleans Avenue, circle-jerked down on
some railroad tracks again (Pot Guy’s words), found a break in a fence at
an abandoned warehouse parking lot, went through that, and out another break in
the fence, then reached the On-in about a 1/4 mile later.

When
TFB was asked to explain his long absence, he did respond but the scribe has in
his notes, “First time—sdrtÕbeer
beerÕfinish... (It seemed at
the time to have some meaning...) *

TFB
responded to whatever it was, “This is not true”.

Swamp
Bitch then asked Just Erin why she hasn’t been out to hash and she stated while
gesturing toward TFB, “He did not make me cum.” No further explanation
was needed.

When
queried again about his absence, TFB stated, “ I was wanking”. No
further questions from Swampy.

Tighty
Whitey, Olympic Cock Ringer and Jiggles Low were also welcomed back after prolonged
hiati.

The
Hares and the Trail:

Doc
Cousteau and Chicken Pot Guy were called to defend their opus. It
was said of the trail that there were neither enough Port-A-Johns nor usable
bushes due to cold weather and shedding of leaves therewith...

Birthdays:

Forget
Me Not, Ready Whip and New Boot Just Trent.

Naming:

Just
Paul who has been with NOH3 for many months as of Sunday’s Hash was called to
the circle for another attempt at naming. It was disclosed that
Just Paul rode in the Orpheus Parade on Lundi Gras (Monday before Mardi Gras)
and did ride on the same float as New Orleans Saints Head Coach Sean
Payton. Among the suggestions: Queen Orafice (sic, or was it
Queen Orfice?), Orafice and Peace (Just Paul is a
Marine). Ultimately, it was decided that Just Paul would be know to
hashers worldwide as, “QueenGapingOrafice 969III” (Tune in next week for
an update on Just Paul’s naming.)

Accusations:

Hashers
not on trail were called. Butt Gravy and G-String said that they
were late because the other two buildings in their three-building
apartment property burned. Nobody was hurt but it was learned that
firefighters did retrieve from the rubble for one lucky tenant, his bong.

manporn.cum
said that he stayed up late the night before to do the Full Moon Hash

Gooey
Blow called Ice Balls and asked, “Where is your Hat?” Ice Balls
acknowledged that it was not on his own head and as he assumed that Gooey knew
something about it’s whereabouts. She handed it over and a down-down was
prescribed but not before it was noted that Ice Balls was wearing a shirt with
the ‘R’ word on it.

Dental
Damsel stepped up and called all Marines who were pictured in the newspaper
serving with NOH3~Red Dress water/Power Aid/beer stop on the course of
the Mardi Gras Marathon. The call was then expanded to include all
Marines, then to include Navy, Coast Guard, and then all other services both
active and veteran and the numbers grew to nearly half of those assembled and
all did a down-down.

Thanks:
As the sun set
on another Sunday Hash day, Co-Hare Chicken Pot Guy corralled the pack to a new
little restaurant nearby on Carrollton Avenue called ‘Roosters’ where he had
negotiated some great On-After fare with the owners. It is a nice
place, the rear area, where the bar is located, is a couple steps
up. The street cars can be watched from there as well as the dining
area at the front.