Let’s talk about loneliness2 min read

Though loneliness has become something of a hot topic in the media, I wonder how many of us would feel comfortable to say it out loud to another friend or loved one, “I’m lonely.”

Many of us are reluctant to admit to others when we feel lonely.

I know from my own life and working with quirkyalone/quirkytogether people that loneliness has particular dimensions for people who have been selective in their choices and spent many years being single.

We don’t talk about the loneliness of that path all that much–for example the loneliness of staring down a weekend with no plans.

We wind up feeling even more lonely alone when we don’t see our experience reflected back to us or discussed.

Laura who has been following quirkyalone for 15 years and I first talked over Skype to discuss the focus of our conversation.

We settled on the theme the loneliness of single shame, or of believing something is wrong with you if you have been single for years or just longer than you want to be.

I highly recommend you listen in. Generally when I do conversations with others on single shame it’s healing for someone out there.

This conversation can help you prepare for those awkward moments on dates when someone asks you how long it’s been since your last relationship.

Even more I hope this intimate conversation can help you feel more at peace as you gradually rid yourself of those nagging “there’s something wrong with me” voices in your head.

I remember evading questions on dates when men would ask me, So how long has it been since your last relationship? I felt marked–like something was wrong with me–because I had been single for years.

I’ve since helped many clients who have coped with similar feelings of shame so I know quite well by now single shame can be quite a “thing.”

In our conversation, I talked about my own experience of working through single shame to the end point of owning my story as a discerning quirkyalone and about my experiences helping others along that journey.

The interview is called “From Single Shame to Owning Your Story as a Discerning Quirkyalone.”

Our interview will be aired Saturday, February 23, 2019.

Laura’s series TRANSFORMING LONELINESS: Follow Your Heart’s Longing into Connection, Belonging, and Love will be available FREE from February 19 – 26.

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About Sasha

Sasha Cagen is the author of the cult favorite Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics and To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us. Her work as a writer, coach and movement-builder has been featured everywhere from NPR and the New York Times to CNN and Vogue.

In her well-loved newsletter going to thousands who identify with "quirkyalone," Sasha is the voice for people who don't want to settle--in any area of life.

In her coaching practice, Sasha helps smart, successful women (and men) get clear on their goals and achieve them while always helping her clients focus on core issues such as self-worth.

Through her Tango Adventures, she helps people go deep in the authentic tango scene of Buenos Aires while using tango as a mirror and a metaphor to help each person discover what tango has to teach them.