Eight Family Ideas for Hanukkah

Ideas to light up your celebration during the eight nights of Hanukkah.

Hanukkah arrives at the darkest time of the year, when daylight is in short supply, but the miracles that God performed for us thousands of years ago light our path to a festive, meaningful celebration. Hanukkah is a fun, delicious (fattening!) yet deeply spiritual holiday that is easy to share with friends and family.

Here are some ideas to light up your celebration during the eight nights of Hanukkah:

1. Give each child his or her own menorah. Children are especially proud of lighting menorahs they make themselves, and they can be made simply and creatively. During one of the last nights, when the room is bright with Hanukkah lights, take a family photograph. This custom can become a treasured chronicle of how your family grows over the years.

2. Be here now. Take plenty of time after lighting candles to enjoy being with family. Sing Hanukkah songs: Ma Ozur, Haneiros Halalu, and any others you enjoy. Stay “unplugged” from your smart phones while the candles are burning. Savor this special time together. When you’ve sung everything you feel like singing, bring on the gifts and dig into those hot latkes and sufganiot!

3. Talk up the miracles. Hanukkah means both “dedication” and “education,” so retell the story of the great Hanukkah miracles, both hidden and open. Buy a Hanukkah or Judaica-themed book for your children each year – you will build a nice holiday book collection, and reserving them for the holidays makes them seem new again for the children. For older children and adults, set a challenge for everyone to find a new Hanukkah insight to share. Every year there are new things to learn!

4. Let Mom rest. Part of the Hanukkah victory is credited to Yehudit, a daughter of Yochanan the High Priest and father of the Hasmonean family. During the time of the Maccabean revolt, Yehudit bravely and cleverly earned the trust of a Syrian-Greek general namedHolofernes, convincing him that she would bring him valuable information that would help him defeat the Jewish uprising. Instead, like the heroine Yael who slew Cicera, Yehudit fed Holfernes wine and cheese until he fell into a deep slumber. She then unsheathed his sword and killed him, saving untold numbers of Jews. In deference to the heroism of Yehudit, it is a custom for women not to work while the candles are burning. This is a challenge for many women who are not used to sitting still, so it’s up to other family members to ensure that their mothers, aunts, and grandmothers actually just sit and enjoy!

5. Let the games begin! Along with the traditional dreidel game, make up your own: Hanukkah-themed word searches, Bingo, quizzes, and other games are a fun way to involve all family members, as well as guests at your Hanukkah party. Did you know that the dreidel traces its lineage all the way back to the time of the Syrian-Greek rule over Israel? Since Torah study had become a crime punishable by death, Jewish children hid in caves in order to study. When Greeks would approach to see what they were up to, out came the spinning tops, which the children pretended they were engrossed in playing. Visit http://www.aish.com/h/c/f/ for more great activities.

6. Jingle gelt, Jingle gelt. No child is likely to let parents forget the custom of giving Hanukkah gelt, and not just the chocolate coins, either. In some communities a little gelt is given each night. Why money as gifts? One answer is that the Greeks did not destroy the oil from the Temple; they defiled it – a statement of their intent to infuse Greek ideas and ideals into Jewish life and Jewish possessions. Giving Hanukkah gelt reminds us of our freedom and obligation to use our material wealth for noble and spiritual ends. Underscoring this message, children are taught to give away some of their gelt to tzedakah.

7. Give thanks, modern-day Maccabees. Many families have the custom of taking one night and having everyone express what they feel grateful for, spiritually and materially. Feeling gratitude and expressing it are defining Jewish qualities, and what better time to do so than on the holiday that means “dedication”? Here’s another angle to this theme: Since Hanukkah celebrates the Jewish affirmation of our spiritual values, and a refusal to buckle to even harsh pressure to assimilate, discuss ways that you have found to stand up for Jewish values when they have been challenged.

8. Check out the neighborhood. If you live in a Jewish neighborhood and it’s not utterly freezing, take a walk and enjoy the sight of the dozens, if not hundreds, of menorahs spreading their beautiful, flickering lights in windows up and down your streets. The menorah is meant to be lit at the entryway of your home, visible to the street, to help publicize the miracle. Yet there have been times when it was dangerous for Jews to do so. We who live in lands of freedom can appreciate our ability to light our menorahs with pride and without fear, and to delight in the sight of endless Hanukkah lights spreading their special glow.

I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...