Ups and Downs

Saturday, February 28, 2009

This past week has been not so great in terms of eating (or exercise for that matter). Lots of desserts, binges (including a half a pan of cookie dough brownies), and in general not feeling great about what I ate. Which is especially bothersome considering the week before that, I was doing fantastic, and was absolutely binge free for at least week, which is the longest I've gone in awhile. Starting tomorrow (well, technically tonight) I'm getting back on track by planning out my meals the night before. This really is the best thing for me. When I try to do it as I go along, I end up not eating enough during the earlier part of the day because I'm afraid I'll eat too much -- and not eating enough earlier is often what leads to later binging. If I plan the night before, I know that everything fits perfect in my ranges, and all I have to do is decide, okay do I want to have that meal or snack yet and after that how long should I wait before the next one? Sometimes there's a problem of trying to hold off on eating the meals/snacks in case I'm hungry later. I'm always worried about being hungry later. I can occasionally circumvent this by planning for the low end of my range so I have some wiggle room, but it's all too easy for me to go overboard.

I think part of my problems and binging stem from my subconscious just not being convinced that Spark people's ranges are correct. It just refuses to believe that in order to maintain my weight, I have to exercise like a maniac (read: more than I when I was losing) in order to have an upper limit of 2000 calories. Maybe it's because the 2000 calories a day thing was drilled into our heads all our lives, that I somehow think 2000 should be the average/middle that I should shoot for while doing moderate, healthy activity.

Don't get me wrong, I love being thinner than I was. But sometimes it seems kind of unfair that being thinner means you have to eat less calories and you burn less when you exercise.

Ugh, anyway I'm just feeling bloated and gross from the cheesecake I shouldn't have eaten (the 50g of fiber I clocked today certainly isn't helping...) It did taste good. But why do I always forget every single time how yucky it makes me feel afterwards to eat bad foods?