Uuuuggggghhhhh. Who keeps financing these horrendous piles? Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the dubiously-humored numbnuts behind destestable cinematic sh*ts like Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie, have been given the go ahead for another f*cking movie. This time the target is The Hunger Games, The Hobbit, The Avengers, Harry Potter, Psy, and other untimely pop culture blips.

The “film” stars Brant Daugherty (“Pretty Little Liars”, “Days of Our Lives”) as Dale. Dale is best friends with Kantmiss Evershot (Maiara Walsh of the failed “Zombieland” series). Other cleverly-named characters include Effoff, Peter Malarky, Glammer, Cinnamon, and Petunia. I would explain the plot, but I’m sure you get it.

We can’t get the director’s cut of Joon-ho Bong’s Snowpiercer, but we can get this pile of herpes-infested rat turds.

Not one frame of that made me crack a smile. It’s gonna hurt when TK has to review it, I bet. (HINT HINT, DUSTIN. MUAHAHAHAHAH!)