[Sigh]. . .I’m never quite sure where I belong. . . between the rush of the city and the quiet of the country. . . songs of the sea roll in my thoughts and in my blood when I’m surrounded by concrete and a million other energies. . . and the pulse of the city moves my body and takes my attention when I’m surrounded by sweet smelling pines and digging in the dirt. Well not exactly when I’m doing those things- because when I’m fully immersed in the city, I’m fully there and when I’m fully immersed in the forest or ocean, I’m fully there. But it’s the inbetween state. . . when I’m indoors and in between projects, I find myself pulled to the other one.

Tomorrow I have a meeting regarding the most beautiful piece of land and house I’ve ever seen. The possibilities are endless- studio and barn and stone kitchens resting as if buoyed by enchanted air on organic soil. . . almost 100 acres. My very own “almost 100 acre woods” so to speak.

It’s just a meeting. . . and I can’t help but know myself so well that I can almost foresee building up walls so I don’t fall in love. . . because I’m always afraid of those other paths, the other choices and the other places that I would also love. . . how will I ever choose? Somehow when everyone around me says it. . . and when I try and tell myself. . . that I don’t have to choose just one. . . something doesn’t quite believe it.

If I’m quiet and listen with the most open and un-expectant wholenss of my being. . . “I [will] hear it in the deep heart’s core”

6 comments

We are often reading the same book Jenny. I had a conversation about this today. I am finally going leave AK, to visit Sedona, a life long dream being fulfilled. And yet, I don’t want to leave my stove and the changing leaves. The wild and strong fall winds. I suppose when I leave sedona i will feel the same. Attached, poetic.

While I choose to leave the drama of man far behind…the drama of the soul is sooo seductive.

I was just wandering around to see what people had blogged about Yeats, and ran into your musings.

I totally agree with your conclusion – everything depends on the deep heart’s core. So much so I hope you don’t worry about the place you choose/don’t choose. I think Yeats meant that Innisfree could be accessed by the imagination, always:

ashok. . . are there many thoughts out there around Yeats??
I fully took away from his thoughts the ability to always go wherever you want to be in your imagination. . . and have lived in mine since I remember. . . while also savouring the entire world in it’s entirety. It’s a beautiful one.

You mean, do lots of people have stuff to say about Yeats? Yeah, although it can be dense reading at times. The best scholarly critic is probably Helen Vendler, who has a new book out only on Yeats’ use of meter.

Would you like me to link back to your blog? Been wandering around and you have some interesting entries.

Oh Jenny. I just love to know you. I love when your thoughts resonate with mine. Feeling understood is so lovely. And being stuck in the space between is such a strange and funny thing. Waiting for intuition to call one to the next place, scared as hell when our inner voice isn’t speaking up to make a definite decision. Adoring the clarity and peaceful vibe of the earth. Yet thriving off the vibrations of millions of souls living so close. Will we ever find our place in them? Is there a permanent space for us here or there? Maybe we are just a part of a rare few that belong to the balance?