Pre-Memorial Day Thoughts

It’s 2:15, the Friday afternoon before Memorial Day weekend. It should go without saying that I’ve mentally checked out of work. (In my defense, I did a shit-ton of work before noon.) Naturally, I’m spending the rest of my afternoon in my office browsing the internet. Google Reader, you’re going to make me lose my job.

Consequently, I have a lot of thoughts. And no one online right now will listen to me! So here they are.

Cases of Dengue Fever have began to break out in Florida. No surprise there, Florida. Apparently Dengue Fever essentially liquifies your organs. I’m about a quarter of the way through World War Z, where the first few zombie outbreaks are classified as “African Rabies”. So now I’m convinced that these increasing cases of Dengue Fever are actually a zombie outbreak. START STOCKPILING GUNS AND FORTIFYING YOUR HOUSES, PEOPLE!

Speaking of flesheating diseases: they found a cure for Ebola! Okay, sure, so disease cures are great and all – but what about making the movie Outbreak totally obsolete? What about future generations of Outbreak viewers? Won’t someone please think of the children.

Gary Coleman died today at the age of 42. How hard are reporters resisting the urge to say something about his “short” life right now? One of the women I work with is concerned that his estate is inevitably going to be fought over. My response: people are going to fight over $40? Apparently he owned an arcade in Marina del Rey. I just Googled it and found this. Why the fuck does eBay have an entry for Gary Coleman? Is he for sale?

Tupac’s “To Live and Die in LA” just came on my Elton John/Dr. Dre/Phoenix Pandora station. Yo Jay-Z, way to jump on that “repin’ mah citay” train like 15 years too late with “Empire State Of Mind.” These people got it right – this is what my mind immediately jumped to the first time I heard the name of that song.

If someone asked me this question, I’d have a very simple answer: EVERYTHING.