How Domestic Violence Impacts People

Victims of domestic violence experience an array of emotions and feelings from the abuse inflicted upon them by their abuser, both within and following the relationship. They may also resort to extremes in effort to cope with the abuse.. Victims of domestic violence may:

Want the abuse to end, but not the relationship

Feel isolated

Feel depressed

Feel helpless

Be unaware of what services are available to help them

Be embarrassed of their situation

Fear judgment or stigmatization if they reveal the abuse

Deny or minimize the abuse or make excuses for the abuser

Still love their abuser

Withdraw emotionally

Distance themselves from family or friends

Be impulsive or aggressive

Feel financially dependent on their abuser

Feel guilt related to the relationship

Feel shame

Have anxiety

Have suicidal thoughts

Abuse alcohol or drugs

Be hopeful that their abuser will change and/or stop the abuse

Have religious, cultural, or other beliefs that reinforce staying in the relationship

Have no support from friends of family

Fear cultural, community, or societal backlash that may hinder escape or support

Feel like they have nowhere to go or no ability to get away

Fear they will not be able to support themselves after they escape the abuser

Have children in common with their abuser and fear for their safety if the victim leaves

Have pets or other animals they don’t want to leave

Be distrustful of local law enforcement, courts, or other systems if the abuse is revealed

Have had unsupportive experiences with friends, family, employers, law enforcement, courts, child protective services, etc. and either believe they won’t get help if they leave or fear retribution if they do (e.g., they fear they will lose custody of their children to the abuser)

These are among the many reasons victims of domestic violence either choose to stay in abusive relationship or feel they are unable to leave.