Writing about parenting, fatherhood, life, and all things ambiguous

Our four-year-old is about two weeks into his preschool experience. Somewhat surprisingly, so far, so good. Maybe he’s not so much like me after all. Yay, him!

Perhaps the best part of preschool from the parent side is trying to piece together what exactly goes on from the time we drop him off until the time we pick him up. Attempting to account for that three hour window is definitely still a work in progress. Here are a few things we know and don’t know.

What we know: Lining up is a central element of the preschool’s curriculum. When asked what he did at school, four-year-old will almost without fail say “We lined up!” It is definitely one of his favorite school activities.

What we don’t know: How much of the three hours lining up accounts for (based on limited experience, I feel like it could fill up anywhere between 5 and 125 minutes, depending on the teacher’s ultimate goal, which I’m assuming is survival).

What we know: One thing besides lining up they do is sing (or read a book, it’s a bit unclear really) about going on a bear hunt. In the course of said bear hunt, the hunters encounter obstacles such as tall grass and water. The hunting party is unable to go over or under these obstacles, but rather, is forced to go through them.

What we don’t know: Whether the school explicitly endorses animal cruelty and weapon utilization or if this is something less sinister.

What we know: Doing tricks off the top of the playground equipment is not allowed.

What we don’t know: What activity preceded discovery of this piece of information.

What we know: One popular playground activity involves placing a handful of mulch on one’s shirt, brushing it off, and saying “I don’t want to be dirty! I don’t want to be dirty!”

What we don’t know: How much the teachers hate their jobs.

What we know: The teacher and teacher’s assistant do not, as it turns out, live at the school. They live at a house.

What we don’t know: Their specific addresses.

What we know: There was a Valentine’s Day party at which the children exchanged cards.

What we know: On the matter of Valentine’s Day cards, we majorly underperformed our peers.

What we don’t know: Why all the other kids’ parents are better than us.

What we know: There are kids and girls that also attend the school.

What we don’t know: The names of any of the kids or girls.

What we know: Other than lining up, other activities undertaken are best described as “different things.”

What we don’t know: What any of the different things actually are.

What we know: On the first day, among mom, dad, and four-year-old, two people cried. Since then, only one sometimes cries, but not very much.