Waking Up is So Hard to Do

(Aya Pena, Dec. 7, 2017) It all started with conspiracy theories. Truthfully, they did scare me a bit, especially when it came to the topic of Anunnakis or Reptilians. WTF?!! During the first year of our relationship, my boyfriend Kam had quite a bit to talk to me about. He had done a lot of digging himself and felt there was some truth to what he was finding. At first I refused to believe that any of it could be possible because it sounded like it came straight out of a science-fiction movie. It was also hard for me to believe that such evil could exist. However, my gut told me that there’s something to this.

So I kept listening and then started reading up on more conspiracy theories on my own online and watched hundreds of videos. There’s so much information out there, I felt like I was going down a rabbit hole. I just wanted the truth. I wanted to truly find out what the hell is really going on and why the suffering around the world by all beings is being allowed to happen. This started making me question all religions, the governments who are supposed to be ‘for the people’, the intentions made by companies, etc.. The list could go on and on.

Then one day a good friend highly recommended a 10-day meditation course called Vipassana. Kam was all for it and I was a little hesitant about it. I knew it was something I needed to do; I mean I’ve read so many good things about meditating and how it can really benefit the mind and body, but for 10 days??!! She explained that you sit and meditate in the same position for a total of 10 hours a day. By the end of the course, you’ve done 100 hours of meditation. I thought, uff, can I actually do this?? Can I sit for that many hours a day meditating and on top of that, not talk at all??? Yep, you can’t talk until the second to the last day of the course.

Kam got online immediately and signed us up for the course. We were set to go during the month of August to a tiny little village outside of Toledo, Spain. I had no idea what to expect, I just brought with me what they had on a list.

The day arrived and we were making our way there. I sat in the car feeling nervous and excited at the same time and I remember someone asking what made us interested in coming to the course. I thought about it for a second and said, “Because we haven’t reached our limit.” I had no idea what our limit was. There are some who believe in having the ability to move things, remote view, foretell the future, astral project, talk to Spirits, etc. I wanted to find out for myself if these things were possible. I figured by putting myself in a situation where I have no choice but to meditate for 10 days, something’s got to come out of it.

Pain, pain, pain everywhere. My back hurt, my legs hurt, my feet would fall asleep. I was so uncomfortable; I envied the people who sat on chairs due to their back problems. I saw some leaning up against the wall for back support, but I wasn’t near any wall. There were moments when I felt at peace, light as a feather and feeling so good but then the pain would come back. On day 3 I wanted to go home, but I’m not a quitter. I can’t face myself if I quit. So I stuck it out. Day 4 and 5 weren’t any better, but then day 6 came. I started to understand something. I started to see how beneficial it is. My creative juices were flowing without any interference. Problems were solved quickly and easily. My mind wasn’t fogged up which made it easier for me to look at things as it is and not overcomplicate it with my emotions. I felt so much love. Love towards Kam, my family and friends. Things that truly didn’t matter started to dissipate. I saw how clouded my mind was. The funny thing is that we were supposed to be focusing only on different parts of our body. We weren’t supposed to let our mind wander, but I did. And I’m glad I did. I learned a lot about myself.

On Day 7, I wanted to stay. I felt at calm and at peace. I felt so good. You could see the change in almost everyone. They came tired mentally and physically, but by day 7, you could see something else in their faces. Peace. We all looked younger. All the hours of putting in the work of relaxing the mind and body allowed us to receive quite a bit of healing. We were matching up with the frequency of the field which is very healing. And we did this for 10 days.

I didn’t want to talk on the 9th day. I enjoyed the silence. I loved it. But I opened up my mouth as soon as I saw Kam. I was very happy to see him. We talked and talked about our experiences and talked of how we should implement this in our daily life.

On the 10th day, we said our goodbyes and headed back to the city. We anticipated the traffic, noise, pollution, crowds and the thought of it was a little overwhelming. We immediately missed the peace and quiet we had in that little village.

We kept up with the routine of meditating for an hour in the morning and an hour at night for a few months. Eventually we started meditating less and less. It’s so hard to stick to a new routine but easy to fall back to the old routine of being in a hurry all the time.

We went the following year and the year after and as usual, it’s rough at first and then it gets better towards the end. But one thing I know for sure is that I was slowly waking up. I just didn’t know that at the time. The waking up process for me back then was quite slow compared to now, 7 years later. It’s funny to look at those experiences now while I’m writing this. Back then, it was such a struggle. I would get a taste of something, which of course excited me, but then it would go away and I couldn’t get it back. It’s like getting a glimpse of something for just a moment and having it taken away from you.

An example is when I returned for the 2nd time, I believe on day 4 I heard a woman’s voice loud and clear in my head. The voice was very soothing telling me that everything will be alright. Don’t worry. I opened one eye to look to my right and to my left to see who said that in my ear. All the ladies around me were quietly meditating. Not only that, they were all Spanish. I was the only English speaker sitting in that area. Then an overwhelming feeling of love exploded in my chest and I started tearing up. I smiled and was grateful that I had someone watching over me. Someone who cared. I couldn’t see her, but I definitely heard her and felt her love. Well that was the first and last time I heard from her which from then on caused some frustration.

So do I recommend the 10-day course? Yeah definitely, if you can. I live in Spain and we have a crazy amount of bank holidays along with a whole lot more vacation days. I know it’s not the same for many people around the world. However, if possible just take 5-10 minutes in the morning, afternoon and at night to relax. Put your mind in that relaxed state and flow within. The more you practice, the better you get at putting your mind at that frequency where you need to be.

Waking up is hard to do. Back then I don’t feel that I had received the amount of help as I do now. Now I can see how the field is making it easier for those who make the intentions to do so. There’s much more support than ever before. This is a time to truly be you. It’s the most important thing you could do for yourself and for others around you. I suppose we could sit and watch videos after videos of Spiritual ascension or raising our frequency to the 9th dimension or law of attraction, but why distract ourselves with that now when we don’t know much about our own Spirit. Throw aside the information you’ve gathered through the years for a moment and just flow within. You may be surprised with what you see or something may confirm what you’ve been feeling. No matter what it is, it’s your truth and that’s what’s important. The more you do it, the more you become who you are. With that comes understanding.

As a wise man in overalls has said, “When you become yourself, other people notice and you help teach people just by being yourself and living your life.” Be You.

Mary Christie wrote:

“Thank you Aya for your story of awakening, it reflects my own search, and helps me understand the need to continue. You and Frank are the first that resonate with me. Been searching my entire life and I am retiring soon. Your connection to Jay helps, as well. THANKS FOR SHARING.”