Vanity Fair columnist Christopher Hitchens went on Real Time with Bill Maher to talk about the exceptionally sordid sex scandal currently plaguing the Vatican. “Nothing good can come of a church that has as its slogan: ‘Leave no child’s behind,’” Hitchens declares. (The author’s proclivity for puns is well-known: his upcoming memoir is called Hitch-22, and a previous study of Mother Teresa is titled The Missionary Position.)

In his conversation with Maher, Hitchens points out that Pope Benedict, a.k.a. Joseph Ratzinger, is also “the head of the state”—Vatican City—as well as of the Church. The scandal, then, involves a government leader “protecting child molesters.” By Hitchens’s logic, it follows that the Pope should not receive clemency in the European Union and in the United States. Hitchens also notes that, were the Pope to call for any arrests, he’d necessarily be implicating himself.

See also: Michael Wolff wonders, “Can PR Save the Church and Joseph Ratzinger?” while Hitchens suggests ten updates to the Ten Commandments.