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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Bad Runner Pickup Lines: "Let me guess your PR!" Edition

I'm going to share with you something important I have learned by both being a runner and an avid user of online dating websites. Let me start by saying I get my share of weird online dating experiences. While guys on dating websites can be intelligent, attractive and sweet, they can also be strange. I say this in an effort to garner sympathy before my big reveal. In this story, I am the weird culprit and I am guilty of appalling attempts at flirty chat.

At some point while using online dating sites, I began to think it was a great idea to strike up a conversation with a guy by guessing his half marathon PR. I know, I know. To be fair, if I think he couldn't run faster than 1:50 I don't guess so at least I have some sense of decency about it. Sort of. Okay, fine, it's still terrible. I imagine this is some bizarro world version of a guy trying to guess a girl's weight? Or maybe there are better metaphors.

One way or the other, it has not achieved the desired effect, historically. Every once in awhile I come close enough that he considers it a cool trick but more often than not I likely end up insulting him. They're usually too polite to say more than "1:45? Oh, no. I actually ran a 1:31 last fall."

Oopsie. Guess I'll go ahead and scratch that one off my list of conversation starters.