My View: Know where your kids are online, too

Saturday

Apr 12, 2014 at 1:30 PM

“It’s 10 o’clock, do you know where your kids are?” Andy Gannon and Rockford Police Chief Chet Epperson ask us that question nightly just before the news begins. I always answer them, “Yep, in their beds ... or at least they better be!”

This week I re-evaluated their question and broadened the meaning, not taking it as literally as it was presented, but moving into the virtual. Do you know where your kids are online? I thought I did, but what I have learned over the past week has prompted me to really know where my kids are, not just physically, and will have both of my teens cringing.

Recently, an alleged serial child sex predator was arrested in our community. He had traveled to northern Illinois from out of state with the express intent of meeting young teens whom he’d friended online, to engage in some type of sexual misconduct. He was arrested with one of the young girls in his car. Again, I ask you, do you know where your kids are?

How often do you spot check your kids text messages to ensure the people they are texting are safe and their messages are appropriate? I have to say I don’t do it frequently enough, but that is now going to change (begin the cringing by my teens!). Sexting occurs so frequently that the word is now an “official” word in the dictionary.

Teens have committed suicide after compromising pictures that they’ve texted to their beloved gets shared with half the school by said beloved after a spat. These same compromising pictures taken by young teens have the potential to become child pornography that travels the globe. Do you know what your kid is texting?

Do you know who your kid is online? I frequently look at my kids’ Facebook pages and Instagram accounts to see what they are posting, who they are talking with, and what others are posting to them. I talk to them about their privacy settings and only “friending” people they actually know. It turns out it’s a good thing I do this, because these social media sites are often where predators find our kids.

The anonymity of the Internet provides the perfect camouflage for a seasoned predator to operate.

“Predators are hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet to target kids, to entice kids online, to try to persuade them to meet them in the physical world,” says Ernie Allen, President & CEO, National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Social networking sites and detailed chat profiles provide easy information to predators. A lack of privacy settings on social networking and gaming sites make it easy for a predator to know what your kids looks like, their phone numbers and addresses, the school they attend, sports they play, pictures, what they enjoy and dislike, their current mood and whether the kids may be displaying behavior that would make them a prime target for an online relationship.

How are these for some scary predator statistics:

— Only 18 percent of youth use chat rooms; however, the majority of Internet-initiated sex crimes against children are initiated in chat rooms. (Journal of Adolescent Health 47, 2010)

— In 82 percent of online sex crimes against minors, the offender used the victim’s social networking site to gain information about the victim’s likes and dislikes.(Journal of Adolescent Health 47, 2010)

— 65 percent of online sex offenders used the victim’s social networking site to gain home and school information about the victim (Journal of Adolescent Health 47, 2010)

— 26 percent of online sex offenders used the victim’s social networking site to gain information about the victim’s whereabouts at a specific time. (Journal of Adolescent Health 47, 2010)

Sexual solicitations of youth occur:

— Chat rooms (37 percent)

— Instant Messaging (40 percent)

— Other, like gaming devices (21 percent)

Many of us have become lax about really knowing where our kids are, even when they are sitting next to us on the sofa. This arrest in my community turned the lights on for me, and my poor teens are going to have to pay the uncomfortable price of Mom checking their texts periodically.

I encourage you to do the same, and if you find something, don’t ignore it, and call the police if your child’s safety is compromised. As parents, we have to be as diligent in protecting our children as the predator is in seeking them.

Kris Kieper is chief executive officer of the YWCA of Rockford and a community member of the Rockford Register Star Editorial Board.

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