Monday, December 29, 2008

Freckled people are taking over the world. They have been plotting it for years now. After centuries of oppression and such painful and caustic expressions like "red-headed stepchild" to the deformed creature Caliban in Shakespeare's The Tempest, referred to as a "freckled whelp," they have finally come back for vengeance. Here are some pictures of their leaders:

Molly Ringwald from the Breakfast Club

Carrot Top

Conan O'Brien

Ron Howard

Julianne Moore

Lindsay Lohan

And you know that Carrot Top and Lohan are the ring leaders. Scared yet?

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Holiday leftovers are great. Turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, string beans and bacon, three bean salad, yams, and trays and boxes of chocolates, cookies, and fruits. My family could easily live off leftovers for the next week. The unfortunate side effect is weight gain. That is, if you sit around doing nothing most of the time. Fortunately I do stuff. Unfortunately, that stuff is mostly going out to dinner with family and friends. Going out to dinner with a week's worth of leftovers at my disposal makes no sense whatsoever. Which is why my family seems to do it (That and it was my Dad's birthday and because he was sick on the day we ordered Chinese food, and then we went out to Outback Steakhouse the next day when he was feeling better).

So leftovers are a boon and a curse. I love to eat them, and they love to be eaten, but unless I do something beyond restaurant excursions, the possibility of me becoming a professional sumo wrestler increases.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

I am staring at a plate of dried fruit. In the background my family is discussing where we're going out to dinner. Needless to say it seems futile. Just like the fruit.

You might say I'm waxing philosophical and metaphorical with what I just wrote. You would be in part correct. And, C.S. Lewis is partly to blame for you being partly correct. I read the first book of the Chronicles of Narnia series today, napped on the couch and ate more than a pound of shrimp. They were not coordinated activities, and my day was not planned out at all. However, it was a very restful day.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Happy day after Christmas. I am now being forced to listen to Tony Robbins' 'Personal Power II,' my Christmas present from my Aunt. My brother put the first tape into the stereo. It's pretty amazing so far. I am learning how to be a successful person. All these years have been a waste. He just said, "You would not have invested in this series unless you wanted to change." Well, let's just say Tony, you read my mind. By the way, the synthesizer sound track is great.

On another note, my other brother is listening to a bunch of random 80s songs. "Our House" (in the middle of our street) by Madness, Van Halen, many Billy Idol songs. Basically I am having the time of my life. Nothing could be better than Billy Idol and Tony Robbins while typing a blog post on a fold out couch.

Another interesting note about today: Not only is it the day after Christmas, but it is my father's birthday. Imagine how great that must be. More than half a century of Birthmas Days. He does, however, get the advantage of after Christmas sales.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

You have an important new message in your BYU Financial Center. You can navigate to the Financial Center as follows - BYU Home Page > RouteY > School > My Financial Center. PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL MESSAGE, as it will not be seen nor read by a human. If you have questions or concerns, please send a message through your "Message Center" in "My Financial Center".

Apparently, if I respond to the email "it will not be seen nor read by a human." Well then, who might be reading it? Monkeys? Aliens? Transformers? Who am I really paying tuition to BYU? Has the entire University been taken over by muppets (again)?

Monday, December 22, 2008

Today I am dedicating a post to reindeer. I broke it down into three sections. First is a series of pictures of people riding reindeer. Then there is a series of pictures of dogs dressed up as reindeer, then there are the reindeer comics. Enjoy!

The title of this picture is "The Shaman" - Ride reindeer shaman ride!

Probably the Shaman's overprivileged son.

Reindeer riding runs in the family.

Even the little ones get a chance.

And for those who can't afford reindeer adventures in Nepal or Tibet, go down to your local steakhouse and get on the rodeo reindeer like Billy here. He didn't stay smiling for long.

Self-Aggrandizing Photo

Michael Powers

About the Author

Michael Powers is a fairly cultured American with an eye for seriousness, but willing to entertain the occasional dabble into the surreal and the inane. His writing focuses on news, random stories, politics, and social issues with his own brand of cynicism, but always with a humorous or optimistic outlook.