January 11, 2009

6:00: Come hang out with me. I'm watching Nancy O'Dell on the red carpet interviewing the Jonas Brothers. They seem like nice young men, but boring. I guess they don't need to be interesting, as they are obviously loved for whatever it is they do — which I've never experienced.

6:05: Commenting on her success, Miley Cyrus says she's not a big planner, but "God has a plan." She looks pretty there in her very long drapey white dress, with her dad who's flat-ironed his hair as much as a man possibly can.

6:15: Steve Carrell bows down to Ricky Gervais.

6:27: Gah! I screwed up the title line. Fixed. Sorry. The red carpet stuff is made less glamorous by the presence of TV folk, who seem especially interested in getting camera time. Meanwhile, we see Kate Winslet lurking over there, looking splendid.

6:29: Vanessa Hudgens's hair doesn't just look like a wig, it looks like a play wig. Jessica Lange is escorting Drew Barrymore. They are holding hands. I love Drew's hair — it seems to be inspired by Marilyn Monroe after a long night of drinking. Blah! Now it's Jeremy Piven whining about his ailment that no one believes he has.

6:41: Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio together again. This time he's the one who looks ever so slightly bloated. She's wearing a black dress and looks so good wearing red lipstick that maybe all of us women will be wearing red lipstick tomorrow.

6:47: Is that Tom Cruise's phone ringing? He's moved off to the side so Nancy O'Dell can get to Robert Downey Jr. — who's wearing dark sunglasses and looks very unkempt, yet brags about his sobriety — and then Sting — who's very red and bloated and bearded. He needs to go on Tom Cruise's diet, because Tom looks radically rejuvenated, all sharp edges.

6:50: Marisa Tomei promotes her movie — "The Wrestler" — which she says is "very verité."

7:01: Jennifer Lopez is handing out the Best Supporting Actress movie award. And it's... Kate Winslet. She's acting flustered, which she attributes to her "habit of not winning things." She's glistening with sweat. And maybe the rest of us women will try to be glistening with sweat tomorrow. She's thanking the movie makeup people for "making me look so old." [LATER: Ricky Gervais says he told her if she did a Holocaust film she'd win. This is a reference to the first episode of "Extras," where Winslet plays herself as an actress who is doing a Holocaust film in order to win an Oscar.]

7:07: Best Song. I was going to say I don't care, but then I see that the "Gran Torino" song is up. And there's Bruce Springsteen, who bellyached his way through a typical Bruce Springsteen song for "The Wrestler." And damned if he doesn't win. "This is the only time I'm going to be in competition with Clint Eastwood. That's for sure."

7:19: Supporting TV Actor. I guess Ben Franklin will win. Yeah. Tom Wilkinson. One of these days I'll finish watching the episodes of "John Adams." It wasn't my favorite sort of thing, but Wilkinson was good in it. He's acting quite geezerly now.

7:22: Supporting TV Actress. The only one I know is Laura Dern from "Recount." And she wins. She played Kathrine Harris — very amusingly. Oh, now, she's blabbering about the election and looking forward to "amazing change in this country." I hope that doesn't make anyone else think now would be a good time to talk politics. At least, her little TV movie was about a presidential election.

7:31: Best TV Actor is Gabriel Byrne, but he's not there. So on to Best TV Actress. Anna Paquin wins for "True Blood." Remember how cute she when she won an Oscar -- as a little girl? By the way, the presenters are the 2 young actors who are playing Captain Kirk and Spock in some new "Star Trek" project. They look interestingly like William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy — but handsomer — younger and handsomer.

7:40: "Wall-E" wins for animated movie, and the guy accepting the award thanks his kids and says they inspire every emotion he tries to capture on film. That sounds nice until you think about it for about 2 seconds.

7:45: Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical goes to Sally Hawkins, and I'm sorry I didn't see "Happy-Go-Lucky." She beat Meryl Streep, who detains her on the way to the stage. Bow to the Streep. She beat Emma Thompson too. And Frances MacDormond. That's some major ass-kicking.

7:56: Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore are still holding hands. They're presenting the Best TV Mini-Series or Movie. Unsurprisingly, "John Adams" wins. Surprisingly, the award is accepted by Tom Hanks. He could use some makeup.

8:01: Best Supporting Actor in a movie. Heath Ledger wins. He's not there to accept the award... needless to say. The director Christopher Nolan accepts the award. They show the "You complete me" clip.

8:45: Original Movie Score. Gotta be "Slumdog." Yeah. A lot of movie music is just background emotional mainipulation, but "Slumdog" had some really exciting stuff. The composer thanks the "billion people from India."

8:48: Everyone seems to know that Tina Fey will win Best TV Actress, and she does. She's got a dress cut all the way down to the waistband, but don't get nervous. It's clearly glued on. She's bitching about the internet. She's telling specific bloggers — I think they're bloggers, they sound like bloggers — they can "suck it." It's nice to know the celebs read what the bloggers say about them and that it can bug them.

9:03: I'm not interested in watching the honoring of Steven Speilberg. It's not about this year's movies. It's such a drag. I hate all the shots of actresses faces — all that admiration. I imagine them all thinking about whether they look pretty giving the impression of caring.

9:15: A big one: Best Director. I say out loud: Danny Boyle. And that's right. It's Danny Boyle. I loved "Slumdog Millionaire" — saw it twice. Apparently, everyone in India is watching. That would be 1 billion people. Maybe some of them are watching TVs in shop windows, like the people in "Slumdog."

9:21: Colin Farrell wins the Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical. He says things like "Ignorance is nemesis."

9:32: Sacha Baron Cohen is riffing on the subject of economic hard times. "Even Madonna has had to get rid of one of her personal assistants. Our thoughts go out to you, Guy Ritchie." The audience sighs with disapproval... and also laughs. The award he's presenting is Best Musical/Comedy. Ah! "Vicki, Christina, Barcelona." Nice to see a Woody Allen movie win.

9:40: Best Drama Actress. This is the one where the GG website seemed to reveal that Anne Hathaway had won. But no! It's Kate Winslet!!!! Our Kate! She's won twice! "Okay. Gather." "I want to thank my beautiful agents."

10:00. Tom Cruise is here to give the Best Drama award, and I think we know it's going to be... it is... "Slumdog Millionaire."

10:03: The producer accepting the award, getting rushed to wrap up, says "Oh, fuck!" and the audio is removed. So we know it was tape delayed, and I wonder if this will affect the Supreme Court's "fleeting expletives" case. See? It's not hard to snip out the fleeting expletive. And here it is so conspicuously demonstrated. (And now, I can put the "law" tag on this post.)

I thought the whole point of introductions was to highlight accomplishments. In other news, does this show what the entertainment industry considers important nowadays? At some point, I fear that entertainment will become a secondary reason for Hollywood's existence.

Anyone want to place bets on when the "Amazing Change™" lines delivered ever-more-unconvincingly by glassy-eyed Changelings is going to curdle and disappear? It's already starting to seem a little past its sell-by date.

She seems like a nice actress and all, but man! Was Sally Hawkins' speech interminable, or what?

I confess, I'm flipping back and forth between the Globes and SpikeTV's rerun of the original Star Wars series. They just finished the getaway from Bespin City. Return of the Jedi will be next, at 9pm.

I'm sorta sorry I missed the "Go Fug Yourself" Red Carpet blog. I completely forgot about those gals until now.

We have salmon on the grill, cabernet in the glass, and kids doing homework. Its a nice time to relax and let Ann do the watching (no TV tonite here). I'll be interested when Slumdog is up for something.

I'm not watching so maybe I missed a nuance. I thought about it for at least 9 seconds and I still can't grasp why it's not nice that the Wall-E guy's kids inspire emotions. Is it because rage and shame are emotions too?

Ouch... some of the other Globes liveblogs - like MTV's one - have zero comments on them.

Just another nail in the coffin for that particular case. The channel lost its relevance quite some time ago, but this is just another painful reminder of that.

But I feel sorry for some of these other blogs. I don't know if it's worse to just not comment at all and leave those with a goose-egg, or leave a single, token one which just as badly highlights the lack of such. Either way, I can't help but feel sorry.

I'm sick of all these celebrities (I first thought this when I saw Doogie Howser, last night, on SNL:) I want new celebrities - new talent - fresh blood.

People who can do art I'll appreciate - be blown away by - and don't think it's their right, or role, to tell me how to vote, what to eat, or whether or not to "save the planet" - like this rock of cold, hurricanes, typhoons, and tsunamis, needs me to, anyway.

I want all the NewAgers, with their loose morals (Kate Winslet) medical quackery (Oprah) pseudoscience (all of them) and cult beliefs (Tom Cruise, and half of Hollywood) to finally be washed away.

Your uncritical fascination with them is (partially) why John Travolta's kid is dead.

"Delightfully old-school in the blood-’n’-guts department! Measures up! Delivers the 3D goods. Made to be seen! Great horror cinema. A date movie! Betsy Rue has a memorable lengthy full-frontal nude scene that she plays so well. Rue's nude demise is as memorable a death as the laundromat scene in the previous version. Truly riveting drama. Enjoyably over-the-top!

If you don’t experience this one in a theater in 3-D, you’ll be missing out on all the fun."

I have long had the idea that every actor, director, screenwriter, etc, should be limited to a career total of ten or fifteen movies. That way they'd have to pick better stuff and we wouldn't be stuck with the same ole people for decades.

"I have long had the idea that every actor, director, screenwriter, etc, should be limited to a career total of ten or fifteen movies. That way they'd have to pick better stuff and we wouldn't be stuck with the same ole people for decades."

Ok, on Spike, Han just loaned the Millennium Falcon to Lando and did his "never going to see it again" speech.

On E!, Hef's going over some old scrapbooks with his girls. Kendra's laugh hasn't gotten any less annoying. We get to see the blonde trio oooh and ahh over ancient history... which to them is anything prior to 1980...

On E!, Hef's still going over some old scrapbooks with his girls. Kendra's laugh hasn't gotten any less annoying. We get to see the blonde trio oooh and ahh over ancient history... which to them is anything prior to 1980...

... yes, this is what constitutes an upadate with that show. But the girls are hot.

@ Nagarajan, I think people love the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" framing of the story. Also, most of us don't watch Bollywood movies. I can understand your puzzlement if you know of lots of great movies that this looks like. On the bright side, it will make non-Indians more likely to see those films.

"Nagarajan, ask Ann. She loved it. She thinks 1 billion people are watching in India."

Hell no, i dont think even people in Bombay would watch this movie, to put it frankly. Of course the buzz it has generated may generate quite a bit of curiosity, but this is not one of those,"Don't you miss this movie!!" type of hit.

I did some research on its box office earnings and it has earned about 24 million dollars as of December 15th. So, its not going to top 30 million in my estimate. It is probably pretty good for an independent movie which no studio initially wanted to take up, but it still falls short of being a truly great movie.

My best guess - this is a movie which critics seem to like more than people themselves. This is not to deny it's appeal among a few movie goers, but it still seems to be too hyped up.

I am afraid i am the wrong person to recommend Bollywood movies. I hardly watch them. Heck, I understand very little Hindi in to watch them in the first place :-)

But Bollywood movies that i have watched are almost always formulaic, and these "rags to riches" stories have been around for quite some time now.

If you want to watch good and authentic Bollywood flicks, i'd say you will have to go back to the 70's and the 80's. I'd definitely recommend Amitabh Bachchan movies - he is the same demigod that the poor child in the movie seeks to so desperately get an autograph from - wading through all that...you know :-)

IMDB should probably have Amitabh Bachchan listed - the two biggest stars of the 90's Aamir Khan and Shah Rukh Khan should also be there if you are really curious.

But for a realistic portrayal of Bombay's slums, you should probably watch Salaam Bombay from Mira Nair - you may find it a little too depressing, unfortunately.

Slumdog definitely has this feel good factor - so maybe that attracts people to it. And of course the whole game show thingie makes it exciting as well.

As far as movie critics go, I think they feel that they are being treated to some authenticity that they would otherwise not have access to. And may be they are right.

SDM wins... anyone think it's going to get an Oscar nom? I genuinely don't know if it deserves one since I haven't seen it, but again, buzz is as important in Hollywood as quality, if not more so. And SDM's got buzz now.

Did everyone know that when Cedarford was an officer he exchanged U.S. military secrets to the Russian Federation for an experimental surgery implanting monkey glands in a desperate attempt to cure his partial impotence and premature ejaculation problems?

And that he secretly places ads in the back pages of several alt-weeklies seeking a Chassidic man to read Hebrew to him while he sucks his "kosher schlong".

And that he also likes to give blowjobs to black gangbangers through the eyehole of a Klan hood?

And that he hires transvestites to wear Milton Friedman masks and beat him with socks filled with rolls of quarters while he whimpers "Punish my pasty little collectivist ass! I'm a cock-sucking piece of Paleocon shit! Beat me with that inflated coinage! I'm your serf! I'm your serf!"

I was in Vermont this weekend. It was beautiful. The Green Mountain air is so wonderful. Stowe is absolutely fabulous. It is a must see if you haven't been there yet.

I go to Vermont a couple of times of the year. I appreciate it's beauty. Not many gays but you can't swing a maple syrup bottle without hitting a lesbian.

I can't watch awards programs. I do have a faint interest in how some of the women are dressed.

I too don't like Bollywood movies, or at least the ones I have seen. I found them too glitzy and colorful and the dance numbers awful.

This weekend I saw the movie Sisters with Margot Kider at my out of the way B&B. Loved it. The rare clumbers are juvenated as well. They seem to be able to pinch their loaves much easier in the forests than on the streets.

Nagarajan - I saw Slumdog, twice, with my Indian parents. They really enjoyed the film.

I think it isn't about authenticity so much as it is about myth - who doesn't love fable and the hero who perseveres? It's a Brit-Indian fusion product and it doesn't surprise me that it might appeal primarily to a western audience.

Another thing I've noted is that the people who like this film, really, really like it. As in, seeing it more than once.

For a lot of people, the music, the technical aspect of the film, and the 'top-down' look at a vibrant culture is intoxicating, or so it seems from favorable reviews of the movie :)

I agree, Salaam Bombay is amazing, but this film is a different beast. One film is reality as, unfortunately, it *is*, and the other more of a wishful thinking. I see no problem with either in film-making. Tastes vary, though, that's the thing!

Slumdog Millionaire: I'm glad I saw it, I did enjoy it, but I was struck by its dramatic sleight of hand. I don't mean to spoil the movie for anyone ...

[POTENTIAL SPOILER BELOW]

... so let me just say that it's the time-shifting flashback structure that makes the story seem more compelling than it really is, IMHO. Put another way: If the film had outlined Jamal's life story first, then put him in the Hot Seat on "Millionaire," I don't think the audience would have enjoyed it at all - I think the audience would have been groaning in disbelief.