It’s a shame my penis isn’t a member of the Academy so Megan Fox can thank it when I vote for Jennifer’s Body as Best Picture to Masturbate To, but to make me feel better, she looked hot as hell at the premiere of her new movie at the 2009 Toronto Film Festival last night. She’s also kissing some random dude. This is unacceptable. * Turns around in swivel chair as I pet my cat * “Patience, M.A.D. Cat. She will be ours. Oh yes, she will be ours.”