Sometimes Bad Vacations Make For the Best Travel Stories

I am sick of people posting images, videos and stories of all the fun they had on their vacations. No vacation is all fun. Every vacation has at least one WTF moment. While social media is good for the glory, what really sticks with you is the memory of that one moment where you didn’t know if you are going to live because you offended a native crowd, or if you have to hang your head in shame because a hooker robbed you, or you thank your lucky stars that the cops in the country didn’t find you.

This article is about one of those moments.

My last vacation was in March, 2016. My friends and I were on this Thailand-Bangkok-Pattaya tour. It all started when we landed at Bangkok Airport around 3:00 a.m., and we happened to bump into Chintan, this gentleman from India (warning: He is the protagonist of my story) who happened to travel on the same flight as ours. My friends and I then headed straight to our hotel, and checked in. Most people usually would want to nap after late-night flights but we dropped our bags and headed straight out to consume Bangkok streets. Bangkok nights are exactly how they speak of and project in the movies. We went to this bar to grab a few pints.

We met, let’s call her Lee, who happened to be a very pretty Asian girl, and who was very welcoming of me and my friends. She wasn’t shy nor were we. As we spoke, turns out this pretty one isn’t just one! She is a blend of two! A shemale. Now you’d think we’d freak out. To our surprise even, we actually lived by the ‘when in Rome act like the Romans’ motto. We enjoyed her company so much that we let her take us around Bangkok.

After exploring the city with Lee until dawn, we headed back to the hotel. Post a long nap, we headed to the pool. Guess who we bump into again? It’s Chintan! A few pints down Chintan and us really begin to bond over our day one experience of the city. While we thought our trip had started on a really interesting note with Lee but Chintan’s tale beat ours. As soon as he got to the hotel, Chintan was out in lively Bangkok too. His mission: He wanted a hooker. And since he was a cost-conscious Indian he wanted a SST hooker (sundar, sasta and tikau). He found one at Walking Street, an hour away from the main city.

Chintan was only carrying dollar bills and it was late to get local currency anywhere. He convinced the hooker to drive back along with him to the hotel and get currency exchanged there. To his misfortune the hotel couldn’t help him at that time.

Chintan told the hooker he couldn’t pay. The young lady refused to believe him and called his bluff. Chintan shows her his wallet that had 200 dollars and Rs. 4,000/-. What happened next? The feisty little hooker snatches the wallet and runs. Chintan follows in pursuit. He was fast enough to board the same tuk-tuk as she did. That awkward moment! They rode all the way back to Walking street where he had picked her up from. She gets off and runs into one of the houses there.

Following her, Chintan knocks at the door and a mature lady steps out cursing him and slaps him for having followed her daughter. Threatens him to back off and leave. Baffled, he doesn’t know what to do. He tries to explain his case but everything at that point seems to backfire. Feeling helpless he walks back, just when another young female who appeared to be the hooker’s acquaintance, approaches to talk to him. She tells him how the mature lady (the mother) is unaware of her daughter’s actions. She mentions how he isn’t the first one to come down chasing her all the way and it’s a regular affair. While she tries to help the alleged hooker returns only half the cash and threatens him. Chintan left.

It doesn’t end there! All the chasing involved taking the tuk-tuk which was yet to be paid for. Chintan requests the guy to drop him all the way back to the hotel and charges him a bomb. So much for his Bang-kok wishes!

TLDR: Guy gets robbed by hooker. Gets conned by tuk-tuk man as well.

We couldn’t help but laugh our guts out at his misery. Chintan had probably lived the whole of his vacation in one day itself. This isn’t the first time we’ve met and heard such a story.

I am headed to Europe in the coming week, the trip has already started on a twisted note. My visa has already been refused, twice! To everyone’s much amusing anticipations, all of my friends have already begun betting on various possibilities. Nonetheless, what are vacations without tales to tell. Adios!

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