Tuesday, March 2, 2010

You found me HOW?

I always get a kick out of what people type into the Google search box that somehow brings them to my blog. Just to clarify, I have no idea whatsoever about the identity of the people who searched the following phrases, what other site they came from, etc.

Here are some of the recent search phrases:

are the all yours blohg

Is blohg an amalgamation of blah blog? I hope not.

all yours nothing for me

I wonder WHAT they are talking about.

45000 hours of reading the bible equals how many days You should have used a calculator instead of Google. But since you asked, that would be 1875 days exactly if you never ate, slept, or otherwise lived a life.

are they yours

I regret to inform you, but yes, the screaming brats having a meltdown in the middle of the store are yours, not mine.

can a man be a better parent

Yes. I have known many families where this was the case.

does my baby have to visit her perverted father

I guess it depends on the definition of perverted, not that I care to hear the details. But why did you marry and have a baby with a pervert?

fanciest maternity wards

In my opinion, that would be my own home.

how many people die each year walking backwards while using a camera

I don't know, but now I am curious. Please share the answer with the rest of the class if you figure it out.

is a red blood cell count of 3.95 really bad?

Yes. Hope you get to feeling better.

i hate god ,he is cold and unloving

You know, you sound a little cold and unloving yourself.

quick my husband

I wish I knew the story surrounding this. My guess would be: "I gotta get off the phone quick, my husband just got home from work and I am still in my nightgown and the house is a complete mess and dinner is not ready."

tv off

Good for you! Keep it that way, life has so much more to offer than the idiot box!

There were a lot of pregnancy-related searches that ended up here, but I will not share those because most of them are of a sad nature. If you ever come here and can't find the information you need as it relates to a healthy pregnancy, please leave me a comment, including your email address if you are leaving it anonymously, and I will do my best to answer it. Your comment, of course, would not be published.

And now, for the grand finale, some of the literally dozens and scores of search results that all have to do with male OB/GYNs being perverted. On our church website, we get HUNDREDS of such search results every single month. I think this issue is greatly neglected.

Many times, the victims of abuse may not be sure whether they are just crazy, or imagining things. They may think that they themselves are perverted for questioning the doctor's motives behind choosing such a job. They may be too embarrassed to come forward, or be afraid of what their husband will think if he found out about it. But with the anonymity of the internet, women and men feel free to search and try to find out if anyone else shares their concerns. Male OBs are a horrible example of a case of "The Emperor's New Clothes." They are sick and perverted, but everybody is afraid to say so out loud.

angry wife gyn

I'm guessing this guy was angry at his wife because of her doctor?

are male ob/gyn perverts Yes, yes, and yes.

a male doctor does a pelvic exam on a woman with no one else in room Why am I not surprised?

can ob/gyn discontinue care if patient does not want to see male doctors If it is a joint practice, they likely will, because they can't make such guarantees.

dealing with my wife's male ob gyn Tell her to quit seeing him.

do gyn get in trouble for touching patients Sadly, they almost never, ever do. In fact, they get PAID to do it.

is it normal to be a male ob gyn Normal in our society, yes. Normal by any standards of decency throughout history and the world, no.

16 comments:

Sometimes you find this real interesting blog, you read a few posts, then close the window and do something else. Then a couple days latter, think, you know, that was interesting, I should check that out again BUT THE NAME OF THE BLOG HAS TOTALY ESCAPED you. So you do some google searches and you can't find it, you have a word or two off. Then you strain your brain to think of some of the posts, maybe a title or what the post was talking about, or maybe there was a joke phrase and you type it in, and voila, there's the link. So, a little defense for the absent-minded blog surfers. It could have been me that typed in "how many people die each year walking backwards while using a camera" to find your site, remembering your post about the Grand Canyon : )

But the gyn/ob searches were sad. I've only used a midwife and what a glorious blessing it has been for every pregnancy.

During my labour and birth I was treated by two OBs, a female and then a male. (Shift swaps are far more important than continuity of care in the public health system here) Guess which care I preferred? The male.

The internal exams performed by the female OB were awkward, and downright painful. She never once offered me a blanket to cover myself, despite being exposed and cold, when I asked for one her response was "I'll be done in a minute, you can wait." She was unprofessional, and appeared embarrassed to tell me that she would need to touch my genitals, she actually said "your... umm.... female area" when referring to them. She gave me no notice that she was about to touch me, and was extremely rough in performing the exam, and made me cry out in pain several times (I had up to this point been placid, calm and quiet, even during contractions) and she even demanded that I "hold off" the contraction I felt coming because she wanted to check me right that second instead of waiting 30 seconds for the contraction to pass. And after all of this pain and discomfort, she decided she couldn't actually tell whether I was 4cms or 7 - a big difference, and had to ask the midwife to check and confirm.

The exam was so uncomfortable when she was performing it that it took 3 people, my partner, my doula and the MW to hold me still, as the pain was so great I was unable to ignore the instinctive urge to remove myself from the situation.

It was the result of her care and exams that had me telling the midwives that I would "rather have a C/s than another internal" I have never felt such discomfort, embarrassment and outright pain as I did with that OB.

Dr L (the male) on the other hand showed exemplary care and concern. I had just returned from the shower when he arrived, and he waited till I had made myself comfortable and provided me with a blanket (he left the room to collect it himself!) He gave me warning when he was about to make contact, and advised a breathing pattern during the exam so that it was comfortable and painless. His exam was also quick, efficient and performed neatly between contractions, with a confident manner, and quietly (I had asked to not be informed of my dilation, so I could just listen to my body) informed the MW of my progress before smiling at me and telling me that I was doing well. It was his care that enabled me to regain my control during labour, and remain calm, when I had been distressed and upset for the previous 2 hours.

While some male OBs may be perverts, Dr L was gentle, polite, and professional, and by far better than any of the other female OBs I met during this pregnancy and labour. I wouldn't write a doctor off simply based on gender. You may be setting yourself up for more pain and embarrassment.

I knew that sooner or later someone would bring up the point about how rude and unprofessional many female OBs are. I completely believe your story, and have heard similar ones many times. It is very traumatic and humiliating to go through an experience like that. Personally, I did not very much like the female OB that attended my first birth, or the others that I met when I was looking for a different OB with my second pregnancy.

However, my resolution to this problem was to switch to the nurturing care of midwives, not that of a male OB. I don't doubt for a minute that across the board, male OBs are more "caring" and "gentle" than females, but if anything, that fact further solidifies my position. The only gentle and nurturing care women should receive in that regard is from their husbands.

I am not saying that exams should be intentionally uncomfortable. I am saying that 99% of these exams are entirely avoidable. I am saying that the reason why the male docs are so nice is because they want you to come back. Not out of concern for you, but for their own gratification.

Being a woman myself, I would have to say that I would neither be comfortable discussing another woman's anatomy with her, nor with examining her. Sure, we do need SOME OBs for complicated cases and illnesses, and I say more power to those women who feel comfortable and called to do so.

But the vast majority of women will never in their life need to see an obstetric specialist. Pregnancy and childbirth can be safely attended by midwives with minimal intrusion into their privacy. You yourself didn't want to know your degree of dilation, and rightly so. But instead of having a gentle man check you instead of a clumsy woman, you should have had neither.

I wonder how husbands would feel if their wife told them that they prefer male doctors because of the gentle way they touch their wife in this most intimate of ways. It's disgusting. The doctor knowing your dilation didn't do anything to make your labor safer or more enjoyable, but I would be willing to bet that it made your husband very uncomfortable, even if he would never admit that.

I mean, someone could come up with reasons why men should start seeing female urologists on a regular (at least annual) basis, and I wonder how many women would be totally ok with their husband disrobing in front of her and being handled by her, and then coming home to their wife. It is so disgusting there aren't even words to describe it.

All logic and emotion aside, the Bible simply states that it is wrong for a man to uncover the nakedness of someone else's wife, and nowhere is there a disclaimer given for male doctors. The medical society established itself as an alternative to women-centered care by vilifying and criminalizing female caregivers.

You have made many excellent points. I am so fed up with hearing the excuse, "Male gynecologists are gentler so I prefer them." I agree that some female OBs are rough. I am glad that you have been able to have home births safely. Some women are not able to have babies at home as you know. There are certainly some good female OBs out there who are gentle.

One of my friends had a horrible birthing experience because she ended up with an insensitive female ob/gyn who ignored her wishes that no medical students be present.

It is very natural for a male gynecologist to be gentle because he wants female patients to come back to him. Most male doctors who sexually abused women were actually gentle. Check out a short list of male ob/gyns that have abused women.

You are right. The bible never gives an exception for male doctors to examine private parts of women they are not married to. Midwives actually delivered babies in the bible.

God has the same standards for doctors as everyone else. It is wrong for a man to examine private parts of a woman who he is not married to. Why should it be different in the medical field? Male doctors are not morally above other men. I agree with you that female urologists have no business examining private parts of men they are not married to.

Look at how a male medical student wrote an article about why women should actively seek out a male gynecologist. I disagree with him. However, he wrote about the historical progression of pelvic examination and how men were not allowed to examine women’s sexual organs before 1800s. I believe the information he has provided is accurate. This proves our point that men were actually not allowed to examine women’s private parts in the Bible. Midwives delivered babies. This author has it right that women were not allowed in medical schools and that’s why we only had male gynecologists for many years. Make sure you look at the historical progression of pelvic exams.

I think it is ridiculous that people assume that male gynecologists are asexual and do not have lustful thoughts when they examine women's private parts.

Our family physician is female and she examines my husband and son. I have never felt it was inappropriate. I do prefer going to a female OB/Gyn, but I have also been treated by several males over the years and never had a terrible experience. To each his own.

I'm not sure where your distrust of male ob/gyns comes from, but as a man about to enter medical school next year I figured I would comment. Though I am not considering ob/gyn for myself (if I have anything to say about it my 6 week ob/gyn rotation will be my only exposure to that), I've met several people in the field and have a few friends planning on entering it. I was disappointed you never replied to my last comment on homeschooling, so I hope you will take the time to answer; I've never met someone with your unique set of opinions and I would like to take some time to try to understand.

You say “99% of these [gynocological] exams are completely avoidable”, and I'm curious as to where you got this statistic. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it appears you are not a medical doctor, nurse, physician assistant, or any other type of healthcare provider. What may appear to be unnecessary to you may, in fact, be very medically necessary. A layman is not qualified to say whether or not any particular exam is needed.

Further, “I am saying that the reason why the male docs are so nice is because they want you to come back. Not out of concern for you, but for their own gratification.” is entirely unsupported and, indeed, borderline libel against the ob/gyn profession. If you have evidence to support that, present it, or I respectfully request you withdraw that comment. If male ob/gyns were brusque and businesslike, would you condemn them because they were not as nurturing and supportive as their female counterparts? Would you say that they move quickly through patients in order to satisfy themselves faster?

Your next paragraph discusses whether a husband would be all right with a wife see a male gynecologist, and vice versa for a female urologist. I would not begrudge my wife a visit to a male gynecologist if she wanted. To me, the only things that are important are the skill of the doctor and how comfortable (s)he makes his/her patients (I normally do not write in this “politically correct” style, but as this is a gender-motivated discussion it seemed appropriate).

An ob/gyn does much more than just deliver babies, e.g. pap smears, hysterectomies, and the like. These are utterly nonsexual acts, as I'm sure you are aware. Few people are strictly obstetricians or gynecologists.

As for the Bible, I would remind you that it was written in a drastically different time when the medical profession was a mere shadow of its current form. There are many things nowadays that the people who wrote the Bible could never have dreamed of. Would you see a male surgeon to remove a breast tumor? A cervical tumor? I assure you, most men who chose ob/gyn do not choose it to see women's intimate areas. They do because ob/gyn is a field which is both highly procedural (which means high reimbursement) while at the same time highly cerebral (the reproductive tract is incredibly complicated and requires a lot of thought to figure out). Many specialties provide one at the expense of the other. The same thing is true, incidentally, of urology.

In short, you are well within your rights to see any sort of doctor you wish. No one can force you (and no one should be able to!) to see a male gynecologist, a female cardiologist, a Texan internist, or a blonde surgeon if you don't want to. However, please don't resort to unsupported libel to justify your position. Just because some male ob/gyns are perverts does not mean all male ob/gyns are perverts and to imply so is flat out wrong. You can make this argument without resorting to name calling. A friend once told me she felt like going to a male gynecologist was like going to a mechanic who has never owned a car.

Sorry this turned out so long, I hope you will take the time to respond. Also, I'm sorry if anything in here turned out disrespectful, that wasn't my intention. Let me know and I will be glad to apologize.

You don't need to post this, just a suggestion of an article that I was sent from The Sun, a daily newspaper in England. (Just a note--don't open it with your little ones near the computer, there are some women wearing revealing things, articles about affairs and whatnot on the side bar--but please look beyond that, as the article is still of worth, especially the comment section.) It's an exerpt from a memoir of a woman who was a high-powered career woman who fell pregnant and the battle she fought between her child and her career. It seems to be a book that would be of interest to you. (Don't be surprised where she finds her heart ;))

More to the point of your post, I'm sure you've heard of the heinous paedophile in Delaware that has allegedly (I hate having to use that word, but innocent until proven guilty in a court of law) molested an incredible number--100 plus girls!--and authorities knew for quite some time and kept ignoring complaints from parents, nurses, fellow doctors, and medical boards. I can't imagine leaving my children, my girls or boy, alone in a room with a physician for any reason! I'm praying for his victims and that he will be brought to justice in this world and the next.

Sorry for the morose comment, perhaps it's the weather! God bless you and yours--I loved your messy Becky and I hope princess Miriam's "marriage" works out much better than the real princess, Diana!

Oh dear, I've left one more thing out, please excuse the mush brain, it needs sleep!I read this on-line and immediately thought of you as well. (I promise that it's just a strange happening that there are two in a short period of time.) It's an article in Time about German homeschoolers seeking asylum: http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1967762,00.html

I just wanted to share something I experienced. I went to my male family doctor for back pain. I do not see him for ob/gyn issues, for that I see a woman. I even insist on keeping my own clothing on rather than putting on a gown. Anyway, after about 5 minutes of questions he insisted on doing a pelvic exam. Against my better wishes I allowed it. The whole situation felt wrong and afterwards he wouldn't look me in the eye. I haven't gone back to see him since then and when I talked to another doctor she said that he was just being very careful after exhausting every other avenue. How could every avenue be exhausted in only 5 minutes? I know she was covering for him, but what can I say or do?

I am very sorry to hear about your bad experience. The male doctor took advantage of you. I wish you could have reported him to the state medical board. What he did was very inappropriate. There was no reason for him to do a pelvic exam on you. What happened to you happens more common than you can imagine. One male doctor convinced a 14 year old girl who came in for sore throat to have a pap smear. See more information on this article: Disciplined doctors keep licenses despite sexual misconduct.

Sean, I can respect the medical profession as I need them a lot for my sons. What I do not and cannot respect is the medical profession in Mississippi trying to make midwifery illegal so that only medical doctors can deliver babies. (I've had three successful home births, almost had the third in the hospital and am not against it, I'm just against my choice to home birth with a qualified midwife being taken from me when there is nothing to show that it is dangerous).

I have a problem with medical doctors in Mississippi making sure that children who go to school MUST be vaccinated, as that is a parents choice whether doctors like it or not. Some of us have religious reasons for not wanting to do it and that should be respected. Our doctor is great she believes that kids SHOULD be vaccinated, but she's also a Christian who believes that no matter what she thinks, it's the parents choice and right to make decisions concerning their children. I love our family doctor, she's great! She's also the one incidentally that sent us to the child development specialists who discovered one of my son's special needs issues.

I was wondering also if, in your opinion, are the dilation exams OB doctors give women always necessary? The last birth I had, there was no time even for an exam as I had birthed the baby about fifteen minutes before the midwife made it. I just don't see how knowing dilation really helps anything except for OB doctors to use it as leverage to do an unnecessary induction or c-section.

Hopefully you can see my comments for what they are and not read any disrespect into them. I merely am curious, and do have a problem with doctors trying to force government to make certain laws so they can make more money.

With my son's needs, we are going to be around doctors our whole lives, so I have nothing against doctors, just against the ones that interfere with the rights of others just so they can make more money.

I wish you the best for medical school and hope you become a great doctor.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I would agree that AMA has no business trying to drive midwives out of business. The AMA typically does not appreciate competition (look at the ordeal that the osteopathic physicians had to go through to get recognized as full physicians). I agree that theres no need for them to have a monopoly on childbirth. Congrats on the home births! Personally, if I was having a baby I'd much prefer to do it in a hospital with an ob/gyn on hand, but it looks like you found something that works.

Strictly speaking, the idea behind vaccinated all the kids in public schools is that everyone has to be vaccinated to cultivate what epidemiologists call “herd immunity” - some people are unable to get the vaccine for medical reasons (e.g. people allergic to eggs can't get the flu shot, which is raised in chicken eggs) and to protect them we need to ensure that an infected person never comes in contact with a susceptible host. Essentially, the idea is that an unvaccinated person is a risk to the whole group. That said, vaccination is a medical procedure and your first loyalty as a parent is to your children, not to everyone else's children. I think your doctor is absolutely right; I can and do believe that kids should be vaccinated (for most diseases...I would probably skip the chicken pox vaccine for my kids) but ultimately, as a doctor it is not my call – its yours. I think the benefits for vaccination definitely outweigh the risks.

When you say religious objections, could you clarify a little what those objections are? No disrespect intended, I've heard that from multiple people but no one has ever elaborated and I'm curious.

I'm curious as to how you feel about government mandated quarantines for particularly dangerous and virulent diseases, like banning people with TB from flying on airplanes or forcibly quarantining people infected with ebola or smallpox (luckily thats one we don't have to worry about anymore).

Unfortunately, I can't give an educated opinion on the dilation exam, so at the risk of saying something wrong I'll have to answer with an “I don't know”. However, in three years if Mrs. Anderson still has her blog up I promise to chime in with an answer after my ob/gyn rotation.

I don't see anything wrong with your comments, doctors need oversight just as much as anyone else. I think you'll be happy to hear that there is a big movement in medicine now towards patient autonomy, we'll see what direction that moves in in the next few years.

Thanks for the wellwishes, I can't wait to get started. I'm a little nervous about how much there is to learn, but its going to be incredible. I'm sorry to hear about your son's health troubles, I hope they're doing well. I hope all my future patients are as well-informed and polite as you.

Yours,Sean

P.S. Sorry this turned out so long again. I think complicated issues like this don't deserve to be reduced to bumper sticker slogans.

I'm now glad that my sons aren't vaccinated. I don't know if vaccines can cause autism, I think that is an interesting argument, but I do think they could have made his worse. And I have been told that my middle son, the one with the metabolic disorder, is better off without them.

As for the moral objections, I'm not Catholic, but I am very much pro-life and I have read reliable medical information that says certain vaccines contain aborted fetal cells. I don't have an actual moral objection with any of the vaccines that don't. I don't believe it is right to use cells of murdered babies no matter how much good it is supposed to do for everyone else. I think it's awful to sell of murdered little babies to use them to make something else.

Herd immunity is one argument that I have never understood. If vaccines are so great, and work so well, why are people afraid of one that is unvaccinated? The unvaccinated, if herd immunity is correct, shouldn't be a threat to anyone but themselves.

Ironically, my sisters and I all had all of our shots. My two sisters still ended up getting whooping cough. That might have been one of those random things, but it just made me think that vaccines might not be as great as people believe them to be.

I'm on the fence about government mandated quarantines. I think that it could be useful in the name of public health, but I guess I just don't trust the US government enough to act in the best interests of the people. If there is a mandated quarantine, I would not go against government orders because I don't want to cause trouble. Even if I thought it was wrong, I would comply with the orders and just protest it in legal ways.

I really enjoyed reading your answers. I hope you will be a good doctor, and know that although you have great knowledge, that a lot of parents have their kids best interests at heart (unfortunately I know that not all do) and respect what a parent says or wants knowing that they know their child well. I find that I am able to come to a workable solution that our doctor and I am both happy with, because we serve the same God and we respect each others beliefs and feelings.

About Me

I am the wife of a hard-working pastor and a stay-at-home Mom to our nine wonderful kids - Solomon (16), Isaac (15), John (13), Miriam (10), Rebecca (9), Anna (7), Stephen (5), Boaz (3), and Chloe (1).
We spend our days learning, working, playing, and putting out all kinds of fires as we serve our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Read all about the good, the bad, and the ugly days right here on my blog.

Google Website Translator

Solomon (16)

Typical firstborn. Very intelligent and logical. Loves to talk. Likes for things to be "right" and organized. Very honest and fair. Exceptional musical talent. Great helper with younger siblings. Very kind and loving.

Isaac (14)

Loves anything to do with being outdoors: riding bikes, hiking, camping, caring for animals, exploring, horseback riding, etc. Very reliable and polite. My "Mr. Fix-It" man. Never ever complains. Tough, but has a very tender heart. Devours books at incredible speed.

John (13)

Our quirky child. Funny and artistic. Precocious and empathetic. Loving older brother to his younger siblings. A bit of daredevil.

Miriam (10)

Beautiful and sweet. Kind and mothering with her younger siblings. Loves being by my side 24/7. My big helper. Has a great sense of style.

Rebecca (9)

Full of energy. Smart and mischievous in a very loveable way. Very tidy. Loves to help with anything she can. Dotes on her younger siblings. Daddy's girl, bookworm.

Anna (7)

Sweet girly girl. Loves pretend playing with her siblings and her dollies. Wants to be a big girl like her sisters. Tenderhearted.

Stephen (5)

Full of energy. Loves to climb onto anything. Wild and rambunctious. All boy, and always happy. A smaller version of his dad, with whom he shares his name and birthday.

Boaz (3)

This little guy is an extra special blessing after a complicated twin pregnancy. Mellow and easy-going. Chatterbox. Smart cookie with a heart of gold.

Chloe (1)

Currently the youngest member of our family. A precious little doll that brightens all of our lives. Smiles, coos, gives kisses, and brings joy every day.