-Tell Brother that Son behaves best when he doesn't have too much sugar (which is very very true) and will get tummy troubles if he doesn't get enough veggies-Send along some homemade granola bars (made with applesauce, shredded apple, and raisins) that the whole family can take for snacks-Send a fruit basket to their hotel room (love this idea!)

Yes, I'd say especially if you're super casual about it. "Have a great time! Here are some snacks for you guys. BTW, brother, since Son is used to pretty healthy foods, you may want to be careful not to let him go too crazy with sugar and junk food or you may end up with a sick little one on your hands."

-Tell Brother that Son behaves best when he doesn't have too much sugar (which is very very true) and will get tummy troubles if he doesn't get enough veggies-Send along some homemade granola bars (made with applesauce, shredded apple, and raisins) that the whole family can take for snacks-Send a fruit basket to their hotel room (love this idea!)

That sounds totally fair since you're willing to pop for some of the healthy stuff, and I'm assuming that if your brother is offering your son an all-expense-paid trip to Disney, your relationship with him is good enough that he will understand your dietary concerns for your son. In all honesty, I'm sure he'll be grateful you gave him the heads up about sugar highs and tummy troubles. If you didn't, for all we know he could bring him back saying, "I wish you would have told me he turns into a terror when you give him too much sugar!" :-P

Also, by sending some of said healthy foods along, it shows that you're not being pushy or overly-demanding, you're willing to provide some of that healthy stuff, and that you're OK with him having the occasional treat but you don't want treats to comprise all of his intake for a whole week. Who knows? Maybe your brother's kids will return with an appreciation for granola bars and fruit too.

Logged

"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." -Tori Amos

If I were your brother I would appreciate you giving me some guidance on what your 3 year old usually eats. If his kids are older he might not even remember what 3 year olds like to eat. I'd just include it in any other instructions. Shoot, I would want a list of care instructions. Not given as "don't feed my kid junk food and make sure he gets 12 hours of sleep every night" but tips and tricks on how everyone can have the best experience.

Also, as mentioned before, a week of all fried food when your son isn't used to it could create some tummy problems for him.

This is what I'd say to one of my siblings taking my kids.

Bro, thanks for taking Jr. He is so excited. Just so you know. He normally sleeps through the night and doesn't have any accidents, but if he drank anything within an hour before going to sleep, you might want to wake him up before you go to sleep to use the bathroom just to make sure there are no problems. Also, if he starts dancing while your in line somewhere, don't ask if he needs to go to the bathroom, just get him there before it's too late.Also, his not used to eating a lot of fried foods, so when you get a chance, I'd suggest substituting apple slices for fries. That way he won't end up with any upset stomachs. If he's eaten a lot of fried foods or sweets during the day, you might want to go with something like grilled chicken and steamed veggies for dinner or even just a burger on a bun with lettuce. He really isn't a picky eater at all and I'd hate for him to get an upset tummy and ruin any of your time at the park. And one last thing, he LOVES Goofy and will probably scream your ears off when he sees him. But he is scared of Mickey for some really odd reason so if he bursts out crying, don't worry, just get him away from him.

You are the most awesome brother and I love your kids too for wanting to take Jr along.

When people invite my children places at their expense, I try to make it as simple and carefree as possible because I am grateful for their hospitality. That means I don't determine bedtimes, food choices, or schedules. If I don't like their style, I don't send the kids. But I don't do anything that makes life harder for people doing my family a kind deed.

But isn't it easier to ask them to order a side of veggies with the meal than dealing with a potential meltdown or stomach issues by eating junk food all week long? If asked ahead of time and the brother says that's too complicated, then they can keep the child home.

No, not at all--if it's phrased as, "It would be nice, but it's not a requirement." Best plans usually go to heck at 11 p.m. when you're driving back to the hotel and Wendy's is right there. Or if the line is about 10 miles long at the restaurant and you can hit the corndog guy way faster. Or, heck, if you just want to treat the darn kids to cotton candy at 2 p.m., snow cones at 7, and ice cream on the way home because it's vacation after all! =) I don't like limiting people watching my kids for things like food, or bedtime. Walking in downtown Chicago at 2 a.m. with no supervision? No. Chicken strips every meal for 7 days? Meh. The kids will be grateful to eat healthy after that! It doesn't hurt to ask, but the way the husband is saying: food our way or he doesn't go (the impression I got) is what makes me feel like this is more than a simple "please try".

If I was making this kid of request, I would phrase it in a way to let borther know that I knew it was an inconvenience for him, and that I was asking a favour.

'I know it's a huge pain, but DS really needs a few serves of fruit and veggies a day to keep his tummy happy, so can I ask you to try to give him a meal like that every day? I'll send along xyz foods for you all to share if that would be helpful?'

Just a thought. In the original post you've said that your brother's family don't eat healthily. How do you know? There are some people I know who probably think that too based on what they see our kids eat because when we go out or to a BBQ we have treats. This also applies to when we have visitors - we have yummy desserts and soft drink at dinner when that's not the norm.

I think that you need to let it go as I can't think of a polite way of saying what you want to say without sounding preachy and potentially insulting your brother and they way he parents. If this is such a big ticket item for you then I think you should keep your son home. Your brother has kids and probably remembers what it was like to look after a little one also the first time your son has a tummy upset (if he has one at all) then he will deal with it.

If they are getting the Disney Dining Plan, please understand how the DDP works and check the Disney menus before you make any requests of your brother. As I recall -- and of course, it could have changed -- a kid HAD to order off the kid menu. No substitutions. I know they've been adding healthier kids' choices on the menus, but it's also been a complaint for years that the kids' food on the DDP largely consists of hot dogs, chicken tenders, frieds, mac and cheese and pb&j. So before you ask your brother to make healthy choices, ascertain that kid menu healthy choices are actually available at Disney restaurants.

Instead of mentioning anything about their health, or feeling like you don't trust your brother to feed your son right, you might want to take the approach of telling your brother your son should have X number of certain kinds of food during the week or y will happen.

If I were your brother I would appreciate you giving me some guidance on what your 3 year old usually eats. If his kids are older he might not even remember what 3 year olds like to eat. I'd just include it in any other instructions. Shoot, I would want a list of care instructions. Not given as "don't feed my kid junk food and make sure he gets 12 hours of sleep every night" but tips and tricks on how everyone can have the best experience.

Also, as mentioned before, a week of all fried food when your son isn't used to it could create some tummy problems for him.

This is what I'd say to one of my siblings taking my kids.

Bro, thanks for taking Jr. He is so excited. Just so you know. He normally sleeps through the night and doesn't have any accidents, but if he drank anything within an hour before going to sleep, you might want to wake him up before you go to sleep to use the bathroom just to make sure there are no problems. Also, if he starts dancing while your in line somewhere, don't ask if he needs to go to the bathroom, just get him there before it's too late.Also, his not used to eating a lot of fried foods, so when you get a chance, I'd suggest substituting apple slices for fries. That way he won't end up with any upset stomachs. If he's eaten a lot of fried foods or sweets during the day, you might want to go with something like grilled chicken and steamed veggies for dinner or even just a burger on a bun with lettuce. He really isn't a picky eater at all and I'd hate for him to get an upset tummy and ruin any of your time at the park. And one last thing, he LOVES Goofy and will probably scream your ears off when he sees him. But he is scared of Mickey for some really odd reason so if he bursts out crying, don't worry, just get him away from him.

You are the most awesome brother and I love your kids too for wanting to take Jr along.

OP, I think you have come up with a good way to talk to brother and like the idea of sending some snacks with them.

On sending a fruit basket, my question would be this: would bro and family think "Oh, this is so nice of aunt to do, these will be great to take along, eat at night" or will it be "Oh, great, now what the heck are we going to do with this? Where are we going to put it?" Will they eat the fruit or will it likely end up getting thrown out? Fruit can be hard to take along, get bruised or soft. Some people don't mess with taking along backpacks and snacks, they just buy at the park.

The problem is, while your brothers kids will be eating the junk, if your brother listens, your son will be getting different foods and a 3 yr old is going to wonder why he can't have the fun stuff. You can ask your brother to make sure your son gets something healthy everyday (fruit, yogurt ect) but either you will have to accept that he will be eating vacation food on vacation, or keep him home. And i say this as a mom who battles my wonderful sister about her alwys buying my DD's fast food to the point I refused to let her order for her at a drive thru when I was with her and said if she kept over riding me, she wouldn't get to take the kids anywhere.

The problem is, while your brothers kids will be eating the junk, if your brother listens, your son will be getting different foods and a 3 yr old is going to wonder why he can't have the fun stuff. You can ask your brother to make sure your son gets something healthy everyday (fruit, yogurt ect) but either you will have to accept that he will be eating vacation food on vacation, or keep him home. And i say this as a mom who battles my wonderful sister about her alwys buying my DD's fast food to the point I refused to let her order for her at a drive thru when I was with her and said if she kept over riding me, she wouldn't get to take the kids anywhere.

Actually not exactly. First of all the op says that her ds is used to the healthier stuff so he may not even see it as as punishment. And second, she isn't saying 'you can feed your kids hot dogs and fries, just make sure D's eats grilled organic chicken breast and quinoa-broccoli pilaf', she is saying 'if you getting them hot dogs for lunch could you offer D's the apple slices and not the fries? Thanks, it's so much easier on his tummy.'

As I'm reading this thread I remember when D's was little and we would visit my in laws. There would be tons of other grandchildren around (D's has probably a dozen first cousins around his age on that side) and they would all eat bread with chocolate spread for breakfast. Shudder. D's would get bread with cheese or tuna or some other protein.but they were all eating together, and it appeared to be very similar. It didn't bother him so long as he was eating something that was familiar to him.

The problem is, in any amusement park or family type resorts, it is hard to find food for kids that isn't junky (I hate kids menus) so while your brother may try to follow your sons dietary needs, it can be difficult. My friends always invited my older DD to go for their weekly vacation to Ocean City, but I didn't send her til she was a bit older and one of those reasons is because of their dietary habits. I have never seen either of their 2 kids eat anything other than pizza or chicken nuggets. When she finally went with them when she was 11, they were amazed when they went to dinner every night that my DD ordered 'real' meals, salad, baked not fried entrees, vegetables. They asked me why she had weird eating habits . You can try to talk to your son about choices now, but I think that just telling your brother that he may get ill from too much greasy or junk food as he is used to vegetables and healthier choices is the best option you have and hope that it can be accomplished.