Please also check to see if they found book called how to adopt without debt. It can cost upward of 30k domestically, and more internationally.

What a wonderful thing to bring a child into your family that belongs to none.

500 is perfect!! If you find extra, send a grand. I remember when I was down and out, a relative mailed me a grand and it absolutely blew my socks off. The person who gives is as blessed as the person who receives.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Porscheguy

It was close to 30K when we adopted our son a few years ago. Not to sound like a puss, but my wife was an emotional train wreck for the whole process. Sometimes friendship goes further than money. Your a good man!

My sister-in-law adopted from Russia 2 years ago. They pulled a 2nd mortgage on their house. IIRC 45K was their amount.

I don't understand why it costs so much either. They found an issue with her uterus after they were trying naturally for over a year. She had a few surgeries, and other issues with it and nothing can grow there. They have been through a lot, and my wife and I like to help close friends as much as we can when we can.

It's frustrating that with so many kids that need homes, it costs so much. Blows my mind. But, I can't let my disagreement get in the way of helping close friends. If I were them, I would go another route. What that route is, I'm not sure but I just can't fathom paying that much to adopt.

my understanding is that there is no easy way to adopt a child.
Some people may find themselves in a situation where they can adopt a child fairly cheap, like TSA, but most that are looking to adopt, do not fall into that situation and are forced to go another way. This usually is going thru an agency. That agency has costs: paying for the birth because chances are the birth mother doesn't have insurance, lawyers to make everything legal, and the people working at the agency, and I'm sure lots of other things.

Send them a card with the check, tell them you would rather donate directly to make a bigger difference. They will greatly appreciate it.

I don't understand why it costs so much either. They found an issue with her uterus after they were trying naturally for over a year. She had a few surgeries, and other issues with it and nothing can grow there. They have been through a lot, and my wife and I like to help close friends as much as we can when we can.

It's frustrating that with so many kids that need homes, it costs so much. Blows my mind. But, I can't let my disagreement get in the way of helping close friends. If I were them, I would go another route. What that route is, I'm not sure but I just can't fathom paying that much to adopt.

Some etiqutte things:

1) Most women probably don't want their 'close' friends posting details about their reproductive health all over the internet.

2) Don't ask other people how much you should give. Especially if the amount you are giving is by most standards generous. Its boorish.

3) Don't give money with an opinion. No one cares about it, and its belittling to the recipiant. If you don't agree with it, don't donate.

Just because you might be aware of all the details doesn't mean there aren't valid reasons why its very expensive to adopt. It always has been. Months or even years of work going into most cases. Up to two years in the cases of my sisters, and the legal issues are fare more complex today than they were in the 70s and 80s. You will find most of the other options out there aren't a whole lot cheaper.

1) Most women probably don't want their 'close' friends posting details about their reproductive health all over the internet.

Hence why her name, phone number, e-mail address, or home address was given out. No one here will have any clue who it is.

2) Don't ask other people how much you should give. Especially if the amount you are giving is by most standards generous. Its boorish.

I was asking because I honestly have no clue. Maybe others have been in the same spot. I googled a lot about gift etiquette, and couldn't find anything even remotely related to this. I didn't post this to be all, "hey look at me I'm being very generous, please everyone tell me how generous and awesome I'm being."

3) Don't give money with an opinion. No one cares about it, and its belittling to the recipiant. If you don't agree with it, don't donate.

Not sure what this means. We sent them a letter saying we wanted to be more of more help with a check. I suppose I just should have sent a check without a letter?

Just because you might be aware of all the details doesn't mean there aren't valid reasons why its very expensive to adopt. It always has been. Months or even years of work going into most cases. Up to two years in the cases of my sisters, and the legal issues are fare more complex today than they were in the 70s and 80s. You will find most of the other options out there aren't a whole lot cheaper.

Thanks Jesus. I am truly humbled. Could you please provide me with your internet etiquette police badge number so I can put in a good word with your supervisor?