Saturday, February 12, 2011

I Was a Murder Junkie: Waking Up With GG Allin

I like to fall asleep listening to music. I put the Bose on low, set the sleep timer and then try to drift off. The other day I was listening to the CD that came with the book I Was a Murder Junkie: The Last Days of GG Allin. It had been a long time since I had listened to it. I had forgotten what it had.

The first song is an acoustic ode to the love of the weed Humboldt is famous for. That is when I started to fall asleep. A short while later I was awakened in a state of terror, reaching for my knife ...

If you've never heard the CD, it's a few acoustic songs and some interviews with Allin, the Murder Junkies and the author of the book. Well, not interviews by the normal definition of the word, but radio appearances and whatnot. If you've never heard Allin speak, imagine a voice turned gravel by years of hard living, alcohol and guttural screams for the audiences throughout the country.

What I woke up to was the radio show appearance where Allin and crew were being their charming best ... just inches from my ear. Yeah, I freaked. My hand went right under my bed and pulled out my knife, which I got from a since-deceased biker whom I'm sure put it in at least one person. The blade is long enough that if I stuck it in your neck it would come out the other side with plenty of metal to spare. It is intimidating, which is what I wanted because I was convinced psychopaths had made their way into my room.

The moral of this story is: Don't listen to GG Allin talk while you are trying to sleep. You'll wake up paranoid and ready for violence ... which is just how he would have wanted it.