Hope,
WHere ya been? I have been watching for you and see nothing!! How are things going for you??? PLease post and let me know! You have been on my mind!!!

Hey chazzy-- you are so sweet to think of me-- I still visit the board - I don't reply much anymore though-- it still is kind of hard for me. I faked a headache for Thanksgiving and sent my husband and 3 boys off to my mother in laws so that they could have a nice Thanksgiving. I miss my mom and dad so much now-- I guess it will always be harder around the holidays. Dad's birthday would have been dec. 18th (he would have been 61) and mine was dec. 20th. I still cry all the time-- in the car and office and shower it is just unreal. After faking the headache my MIL came to visit the saturday after Thanksgiving and asked me how I was feeling and I just broke down and cried and told her I was doing terrible!!! She was great but of course didn't know what to say.

I am still hanging on to the hope that it will get easier-- but I miss my mom and dad every hour and cry every day for them.

Thanks again for thinking of me chazzy it made my day really. My close friends and husband try to be here for me but there is a closeness that I feel everytime I visit this board-- you are great everyone.

Hang in there, our stories are very similar...I lost dad this past Thanksgiving moring, his birthday was a couple days ago on December 19th, he would have been 61. On his birthday my family and I went to the cemetary and brought him balloons and a cupcake, we all sang happy birthday, it was very sad, but it helped us get through the day. I was at his wake on my birthday. And now Christmas is coming...it's hard to go on, one thing that helps me is that I have the little ones. 9yrs., 4yrs., and 5 months. As hard as it is I have to make the holiday good for them. I also think too...Dad is in a better place. I just think he is in heaven looking down upon us and watching over us every minute of every day. It's just a special feeling I have inside that helps me go on. Yes, there are tears everyday, sometimes more sometimes less but I am turning those tears of sadness and emptyness into happness, knowing that he is not in pain and that he is with his mom and dad and family that went before him. For me it makes things easier to feel and think this way. I hope this helps you just a bit...my thoughs and prayers are with you during the holiday season.
K.

hope.
Sorry to hear that your having a hard time. Just alwasy know when you feel the breeze of the warm summers day hit your cheek it is your parents letting you know they are still ok.
My mom is fading fast and she says this" when I am gone and you are having a grey day just raise your face to the sky and you will feel me touch your face through the sun rays--even on a cloudy rainy day --as in heaven the sun shines always"
I believe this and I will live by this and when she is gone and I am down I have faith this will help me back up
May god bless you keep the strength!
Chazzy