To send money to Mexico please press 2.To verify your account please press three." *1*"You have pressed 1! Please enter your bank account number followed by the # sign." *0123456789#*"Now the last 9 digits of your Credit Card followed by the # sign."*987654321#*"I'm sorry I didn't get that please . . . please enter the last 9 digits of your Credit Card followed by the # sign."*987654321#*"I'm sorry I didn't get that please . . . please enter the last 9 digits of your Credit Card followed by the # sign." *8765432#*"I'm sorry I didn't get that please . . . please enter the last 9 digits of your Credit Card followed by the # sign." *###############*"Thank you . . .For added security, please enter your mother's Maiden name."*D-O-R-F-M-A-N*"Incorrect . . . pleas enter your favorite Italian Dish . . . . spelled backwards." *A-Z-Z-I-P*"Incorrect . . . Pizza is not your favorite Italian Dish . . . please hold while we transfer you to an operator."Two minutes of bad music . . ."we are currently experiencing an unusually high call density, please be assured that your call is of the utmost importance to us . . . your wait will be approximately forty min . . ."

Operator: "Hello, and welcome to the Bank of America banking Hot line, home of better future banking for the future and the Bank of America banking Hot line . . . This is Todd speaking, how can I help you utilize our services?"

Mottel: I'd like to dispute a charge . . .Operator: Uhhh . . .Mottel: Yes?Operator: Uhh . . . Hello, and welcome to the Bank of America banking Hotline, home of better future banking for the future and the Bank of America banking Hotline . . . This is Todd speaking, how can I help you utilize our services?Mottel: What?Operator: This is Todd speaking, how can I help you utilize our services?Mottel:I made a phone call in Holland, it cost about 3 dollars per Nanosecond.Operator: I'm sorry, I don't speak Hollandian.Mottel: Neither do I!Operator: Let me transfer you to my supervisor . . . More bad music . . ."We are currently experiencing an unusually high call density, please be assured that your call is of the utmost importance to us . . . your wait will be approximately Eighty min . . ."Supervisor: This is Wanda, what do you want? Mottel: When I was in Holland I made a phone call, it cost about 3 dollars per nanosecond . . .Supervisor: You'll need our billing department.

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high call density, please be assured that your call is of the utmost importance to us . . . your wait will be approximately . . ."

Billing Department:Yes hello and welcome to the Bank of America banking Hotline, home of better future banking for the future and the Bank of America banking Hotline . . . This is Trillian speaking from the billing department Mottel: When I was in Holland I made a phone call, it cost about 3 dollars per nanosecond . . .Billing Department:Oh, you need our claims department . . . please hold.

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high call density, please be assured that your call is of the utmost importance to us . . . your wait will be

Claims Department: Yes hello and welcome to the Bank of America banking Hotline, home of better future banking for the future and the Bank of America banking Hotline . . . This is Lesly from the Claims department, how may I assist you?Mottel: When I was in Holland I made a phone call, it cost about 3 dollars per nanosecond . . .Claims Department: So you're in Holland now?Mottel: No, I'm in Vilnius.Claims Department: Where?Mottel: Vilnius, Lithuania.Claims Department: So why'd you say Holland? If you're in Pennsylvania?Mottel: I was in Holland, now I'm in Vilnius, LITHUANIA!Claims Department: Wait, you're in Lithuania?Mottel: Yes . . .Claims Department: You're a long way from home! So, how may I help you.Mottel: When I was in Holland I made a phone call, it cost about 3 dollars per nanosecond . . .Claims Department: Oh, you need our automated services . . . please hold.Mottel: But . . .

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high call density, please be assured that your call is of the utmost importance to us . . . your wait . . ."

Thanks for the comment Anon . . though even if I do know you, a name would be nice.Yes BoA is the best bank -that's why I have it . . . though every institution has its foibles, BoA well within that rule.As for two, I know that it isn't connected with the Bank, however there is no number on my statement with which to contact the company . . . I was hopping that the bank would help me find one.