Thursday, April 21, 2011

Operation Fiddler's Reach

There's something about the place; a certain je ne sais quoi, that makes me want to conquer it. Maybe it's the name. Etherium Reach. Eeeetheeeeeerium Reeeeeeeach - sort of a siren song quality to it. When I saw it the first time, some deep inner voice said "There. That's place. Go unleash your inner Genghis Khan and conquer Etherium Reach."

Who am I to argue with deep inner voices?

I know. As real estate, it leaves a lot to be desired. Decidedly not among the high-rent nullsec neighborhoods. The NPC pirates are drones and it's proximity to lowsec makes it subject to incursions by roaming gangs of pirates and lowsec tourists. But what can you do? Sometimes a place just seems right. Sometimes it says, "Mord, you manly conquistador, you. Send forth your hordes of cartoon-space-ship warriors. Drive the DRF from my systems, and make me your own."

Mind, that may be the schizophrenia talking. Wouldn't be the first time. But that's beside the point.

The point is, I want you to initiate phase one of Operation Fiddler's Reach. Phase one involves everybody and his brother going to 1VN-XC and griefing the VooDoo Technologies, Legion of Death and Solar Fleet systems there. The beauty of this is that it requires minimal coordination, however please try to not shoot at each other. Focus on making the lives of the locals a walking misery. Light 'em up, shut 'em down and make 'em cry, and tell 'em Mord sent you.

If it's all just too much for the locals, I'll be happy to hear their surrender terms. I am, after all, a merciful and beneficent conqueror. Once the region in conquered, I'll petition to have the name changed to Fiddler's Reach.

Now, I know that many of you have full and interesting in-game lives fraught with responsibilities and don't have the time for this sort of cheap shenanigans. On the other hand, I also know that many of you are only here for cheap shenanigans. It is the latter group I call upon. Go forth. Have fun.