Why Do Women Fall for Bad Boys?

Are women predisposed to find men with dark personalities attractive? Although conventional wisdom maintains that women should beware of men who say and do the right thing with too much ease, they often can't help but find them utterly appealing. Now, a study led by Gregory Louis Carter of the University of Durham provides new insights into this vexing phenomenon.

Research has revealed that more men than women possess the Dark Triad personality traits of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellism. The hallmarks of narcissism include dominance, a sense of entitlement, and a grandiose self-view. Studies overwhelmingly show that narcissism is greater in men, even across cultures. Moreover, it is believed that narcissism may advance short-term mating in men, as it involves “a willingness and ability to compete with one’s own sex, and to repel mates shortly after intercourse.” In line with these capabilities, the authors note, narcissists are adept at beginning new relationships, and identifying multiple mating opportunities. They are also less monogamous.

Psychopathy is comprised of callousness, a lack of empathy, and antisocial, erratic behavior. It also lends itself to success in short-term mating, through a moral deficit and interpersonal hostility. Psychopaths have also been found to exhibit superficial charm, deceit, and a sexually-exploitative interpersonal stance.

Machiavellianism is comprised of duplicity, insincerity and extraversion. The manipulative, coercive, and opportunistic ways of these individuals are also advantageous in short-term mating; studies do reveal that Machiavellians have been found to be more promiscuous.

Indeed, research has established that Dark Triad men demonstrate more sexual success by comparison to their peers. However, Carter and his colleagues point out that virtually all of these studies have used self-report data. In other words, the Dark Triad men participating in these studies have been describing themselves as having more sexual prowess. Given this one-sided view, the researchers wondered whether women would find Dark Triad men more attractive.

In order to investigate this question, Carter and his team presented 128 female undergraduates with the descriptions of two types of male characters: Dark Triads and controls. The high Dark Triad self- description encompassed traits from the "Dirty Dozen" measure, which includes: a desire for attention, admiration, favors, and prestige; the manipulation, exploitation, deceit and flattery of others; a lack of remorse, morality concerns and sensitivity, and cynicism. (The ‘Dirty Dozen’ is a condensed version of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, Mach-IV, and Psychopathy Scale-III). The control self-description purposefully matched the high Dark Triad description, but it dropped out the dark personality traits.

After being presented with one of these two characters, the participants answered questions along a six-point scale about the attractiveness of the individual's personality (they also rated the characters for the Big Five personality traits, which is beyond the scope of this post). In addition, factors known to influence attractiveness ratings, such as wealth and education level, were omitted in order to reduce the possibility of bias. The investigators then ran their analyses.

What did Carter and his colleagues find? Women found the Dark Triad personality more attractive than the control. This result is in keeping with previous studies in which Dark Triad men reported their increased level of sexual success.

What might explain this result? Carter and his colleagues offer two possible explanations. First, sexual selection might be at work. This would mean that women are responding to signals of “male quality” when it comes to reproduction. And with respect to short-term mating, women may be drawn to ‘bad boys’, who demonstrate confidence, stubbornness, and risk-taking tendencies. Second, sexual conflict may be at play. The investigators state that “Women may be responding to DT men’s ability to ‘sell themselves’; a useful tactic in a co-evolutionary ‘arms race’ in which men convince women to pursue the former’s preferred sexual strategy.” They note that like a “used-car dealer,” Dark Triad men may be effective charmers and manipulators, furthering their success at short-term mating. The authors are also careful to note that though women rated the DT character as comparatively more attractive, it does not necessarily mean that they would have sex with them.

Carter and his team report the limitations of the study, including that the participants were undergraduates, a population that tends to be oriented towards short-term relationships. In addition, the Dark Triad character embodied all of the descriptors of the “Dirty Dozen” measure, while the control character had none. In the real world, the investigators acknowledge that both Dark Triad traits and their derivatives run along a continuum, which was not captured in this study.

This study is part of a growing body of research unveiling women's dueling desires. On the one hand, they express wanting a relationship with a loving and committed partner for the long-term. Yet on the other hand, they demonstrate an attraction to men with darker personalities, typically for the short-term. It is important to recognize, however, that this dynamic has been shaped by the demands of evolution. For the women who fall for bad boys—and the men who love them—these insights may help untangle this paradox.

More about the Blogger: Vinita Mehta, Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Psychologist in Washington, DC, and an expert on relationships, managing anxiety and stress, and building health and resilience. Dr. Mehta provides speaking engagements for your organization and psychotherapy for adults. She has successfully worked with individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, and life transitions, with a growing specialization in recovery from trauma and abuse.

Dr. Mehta is also the author of the forthcoming book Paleo Love: How Our Stone Age Bodies Complicate Modern Relationships.

I am a man. Earlier this year I escaped from an abusive relationship with a woman who in retrospect seems to have possessed all three of the dark triad. In fact, early in our relationship she received a formal diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but I chose to ignore the diagnosis due to her very charming and charismatic personality.

"...unless the guy is stupid."---I was not stupid; I was merely inexperienced (I was nearly 22 and had never kissed a girl or been on a date when I met her). I have learned many lessons; for instance, no one who wishes to be a romantic partner shall ever again be permitted to intentionally inflict physical pain or discomfort on me against my will. I suspect that the same goes for many of the women who fall for bad boys.

I doubt that women have a higher susceptibility than men to fall for dangerous partners; rather, there are simply more dangerous men than dangerous women in the world.

I've been helping a couple of my male friends choose a new dating partner. For them, it seems, the more tattoos, body piercings and the longer criminal history a woman has, the more attractive they are to my guy friends.

I think when men see tattoos, piercings and criminal histories on a woman they subconsciously think the potential romantic partner will provide some excitement, will be more accepting and have lower expectations.

These men are in their 40s, so they aren't that worried about what their family's will say about their dates. I've spent some time explaining to them that, yes, women with criminal histories will bring excitement to a relationship but not the kind of excitement one would want.

Biology doesn't care about happiness or well being. Biology wants us to reproduce. So following this type of attraction might be natural for women on an evolutionary level, but I doubt it will lead to happiness.

Just look up David Deida (his books or on youtube). You may or many not like what he says but with this question, his explanation of the concept of polarity, at least to me, is way more elegant and insightful a perspective that the result of the study referenced in this article.

The idea of polarity is also embraced by Anthony Robbins and many others. It would take too long to describe here and anyone interested can google "polarity in human relationships" or something to that effect. Another point of view to consider.

Nobody intends to do anything about it in any event. Women have decided to re-fashion themselves as a punishment to men for being bad, and that's that.

But it is somewhat amusing to see the lengths the hamster will go to to re-invent the ancient and familiar starring character of women's soap operas and melodramas: the rake has always been conniving, underhanded, ruthless, untamed, reckless, etc.; he validates the woman's immense worth by stopping at nothing to get her. You can translate it into psychobabble all you want but it's the same old story.

So why can't women chase men for their own reasons as opposed to looking for some sort of provider? Just as men will risk their marriages and careers to have sex with a younger, better-looking woman than their wives so too women want to have sex with strong, masculine men. Big whoop.

After all when guys are checking out women and give them a number rating they're not grading them on their "niceness" let alone their ability to be a potential kind wife and mother. Heaven forbid women should actually want to have short-term flings with men they simply find sexy.

In Psychology Todayville, women are not supposed to have fun, enjoy life or have sex for pleasure. Women are expected to be perfect. Women are expected to behave properly, search for a provider husband and then turn into a Stepford Wife. Women also need to get a college degree, a good-paying job and have children. Women are expected keep their mouths firmly shut unless they are promoting family values and telling other women what to do.

Pole dancing and dating sexy men for pleasure are not approved activities for women here. Men, of course, can do whatever they wish.

Submitted by Feminism is anti biology and NO ONE is getting my tax $ on October 26, 2013 - 12:54pm

Women can date/do whatever they want BUT my tax dollars are OFF limits. I don't give a shit if a single mother and her bastard kid starve to death after the husband leaves them...They will NOT get a penny of my tax dollars

If a women wants to date a hot but potentially unreliable man well thats fine BUT she takes the risk and accepts the potential consequences...One of the reasons why this is so common nowadays is because we as a society have REMOVED the consequences from such a decision...End ALL welfare and support systems for single mothers that come from the unrelated tax payer (not talking about child support from the husband/father which is obviously different) and we will see this behavior go away.....I don't give a damn if a single mother and her bastard kid have to starve to death...I would MUCH rather prefer that then give out my tax dollars to some worthless whore and her stupid worthless kid

Liberals and feminists are the scum of the earth....

And on the topic of men vs women and the whining about women not getting paid the same and blah blah blah....Men ARE superior to women...logically, [physically, emotionally etc etc etc and all the feminism in the world isn't going to change that...Men have historically been dominant over women because we ARE superior to them.

Women get paid less then men because they are inferior to men in the workplace. Women are in less positions of leadership then men because men are much better leaders and the vast majority of women are followers.

Women can date/do whatever they want BUT my tax dollars are OFF limits. I don't give a shit if a single mother and her bastard kid starve to death after the husband leaves them...They will NOT get a penny of my tax dollars

If a women wants to date a hot but potentially unreliable man well thats fine BUT she takes the risk and accepts the potential consequences...One of the reasons why this is so common nowadays is because we as a society have REMOVED the consequences from such a decision...End ALL welfare and support systems for single mothers that come from the unrelated tax payer (not talking about child support from the husband/father which is obviously different) and we will see this behavior go away.....I don't give a damn if a single mother and her bastard kid have to starve to death...I would MUCH rather prefer that then give out my tax dollars to some worthless whore and her stupid worthless kid

Liberals and feminists are the scum of the earth....

And on the topic of men vs women and the whining about women not getting paid the same and blah blah blah....Men ARE superior to women...logically, [physically, emotionally etc etc etc and all the feminism in the world isn't going to change that...Men have historically been dominant over women because we ARE superior to them.

Women get paid less then men because they are inferior to men in the workplace. Women are in less positions of leadership then men because men are much better leaders and the vast majority of women are followers.

I agree with you 100%. However, I think the problem is that women often self-report the exact opposite. They say they want a sweet and nice guy who listens to them. That is the issue. Ask most women why they are attracted to "bad boys" and the answer is often something like, "I'm not" or "He's not really a bad boy; you just have to get to know him like I do," etc.

A lot of nice guys believe women's self-reporting and end up single, and also end up listening to all of the emotional baggage related to dating the bad boy.

My thought is that all dateless guys need to take a study like this to heart: start being edgier and less agreeable, and stop being being the emotional dumping ground for a woman who is miserable because of her dysfunctional dating choices.

Women want men they are already sexually desire/are attracted to, to be nice to them. That's what she means when she says she wants a nice guy. She wants a hot/sexy/bad-boy who is NICE TO HER. It's not the niceness that makes him attractive. It's his hotness/sexiness/bad-boyness that does that. She just desires this hot/sexy/badboy to be nice to her.

If women are attracted to bad, abusive men, even sociopaths, what does that say about the nature of sexual desire? Or even women? It paints them as submissive and frankly stupid. How are women equal to men again?

I came across a dubious woman who said that she wanted to be dominated by a man. I label her dubious because her dominant personality would only attract the type of male that would assert his through violence.

I've experienced this with some of my friends who are women, one thing is after listening to them complain about the man is I realized they were with "bad boys" because they can expect bad behaviour from him. They tend to not date the "wonderful men" who are their male friends because if that man hurts them, what can they tell themselves then? or if they were to hurt him?
Women date bad men as a self-fulfilling prophesy that men will end up hurting them, and they can cry about it to the "great male friend".

I know that women may attack me on this point, even moreso since I'm a woman writing this.

all i have to say is that they might LOOK good and be attractive at times, but speaking as an orphan who lost her mother to a 'bad boy' she had to marry, that when he wanted to run around it was okay, and when she went to divorce him and find someone else, it wasn't okay for her and he killed her. so maybe the looks and actions speak louder than words. if the behavior is bad, don't be fooled by the good looks. it just might end in death

I have been attracted to men like this because of naivety. They are often very adept at hiding their true personalities until it is too late- I am emotionally involved and hooked.
I also came from a family of origin where I experienced a lot of abuse so didn't expect anything better.
Now after several years of therapy I am beginning to see the pattern and learning how not to be manipulated.
Now I look carefully at the person's character -this seems a lot more attractive to me than a charismatic personality!

I have been attracted to men like this because of naivety. They are often very adept at hiding their true personalities until it is too late- I am emotionally involved and hooked.
I also came from a family of origin where I experienced a lot of abuse so didn't expect anything better.
Now after several years of therapy I am beginning to see the pattern and learning how not to be manipulated.
Now I look carefully at the person's character -this seems a lot more attractive to me than a charismatic personality!

Before I married my husband over 15 years ago I had a long line of "bad boys" that I contended with. Those relationships were very dramatic, passionate and highly sexual. The "dark side" would be the arguments, trust issues and high drama. (The only good thing would be the sex- it was incredible! Which likely stemmed from the constant high drama- which all in all- is not a good thing).
When I met my current husband I was so relieved- he is a good boy. He is sweet, nurturing, trustworthy and safe! We rarely argue and fight. The "dark side" of being with a good guy...he has an incredibly low libido- so our sex life is sparse BUT I consider it a trade off because of my previous bad boy relationships. I do not have to worry about cheating, lying or nasty arguments anymore! I would rather be with the good guy, who is a good father, good role model and faithful husband. I do not miss the infidelity, fighting, crying and pressure of being with a bad boy! I am definitely with the man who I will celebrate my golden anniversary with : )