One person who will be saving money after Black Friday, is Steve “Street3” Carse. Known to have wasted thousands of dollars on online poker sites, the recent federal take over of Full Tilt Poker will have a positive effect on Mr. Carse’s financial statements. Angel Valdez, of the Online Poker Team, fires some questions at Oklahoma’s number one degenerate.

How much money have you saved since Online poker got shut down?
I transferred my last $80 on FTP to Angel to bet on black at the casino. He informed me that I lost. So, I would have naturally deposited another $50 and in turn, ran that up to around $55, then lost it all. Then I would have reloaded again. I would guess since Friday, I have saved around $450. But, since I don’t have online poker anymore, i am extremely bored and have since spent over $1500 on various illegal endeavors.

Those intruders in their homes have names? Some call them Kids, and others call them Mom/Dad/Honey…
Honestly I am scared to death about what this question means and wonder how much meth the interviewer has inhaled to come up with such a psycho question. I live with my girlfriend Kelly and I have not seen any intruders in my home.

When they stepped outside did the sun melt off their skin? Did they get the vampire effect?
Again, another scary question that makes about as much sense as a gaggle of coked up geese selling cookies to gimps.

Is their ability to make money playing online poker myopia equal to lets say Charlie Sheen thinking he’s normal?
I don’t know what myopia means and I’m too fucking lazy to google it. Charlie Sheen has Goddesses, cocaine, no teeth and millions of dollars. I have Kelly, teeth and tens of dollars. You tell me.

Why is chicke nmeth so addictive, especially among online poker players?
A bit of history, Chicken meth was introduced in Arkansas by Jeremy Allen. It’s a combination of meth, chicken shit and feathers. It gives one the ability to 5bet shove 73o into AA and see a 773 flop. Or at least that’s what chicken meth benders will trick your mind into seeing.

On the evolutionary poker scale, where would you place IBGPN?
I would place him at the bottom of the scale. Somewhere between a single celled organism and tadpole. While he can swim with the sharks, he’s often overlooked as his bank roll rarely goes above the $1 mark. His most frequent sightings have the word (OBSERVER) after his name.

I just had a cup of tea and a grilled cheese sandwich. Comments?
You must be gay or British.

Well at least there’s one positive to come out of the ‘Black Friday’ scandal! However, this man has a serious gambling problem and he should be directed in the way of help. Addicts will soon find a replacement for their prior habits and it is a shame to read that online gambling, which is fun for most, can have such a detrimental affect on somebody.