Saturday, 2 September 2017

I wore fake Audrey Hepburn for my big Skype interview

Me: "You want me to what? With my WHAT?! I don't think so! This movie is supposed to be family entertainment. And isn't Fred (Astaire) a bit old for that kind of thing - even with the miracles of modern medicine?

Them: garble garble garble.

Me: I don't care if Miz Bagg Productions has him locked into a three-lifetimes' contract! If you expect me to perform this dreck, you have another thing coming!

Just another day at the studio. Heh.

You want me to do what? With my WHAT?!

That's when I stormed off to the stairwell to cool down and do some serious editing on my lines.

"Where's my PA!? Get me Patti, she'll fix it! Must I rewrite the whole script myself?!" You wouldn't believe my PA - I told her I needed a trailer on set and what did she do? She brought me a trailer lunch-bag hand bag instead. Can you believe it? Only in a Miz Bagg production!

Editing my script. Who writes this trash?

Out, out, out, no, no, no. Another red marker bites the dust. Luckily, I know that a script can always be saved with the addition of a good yachting scene.

I am rehearsing during every spare moment - hiking off door knobs in the cafe, and railings in the library and stairwell. And practising my lines.

EXT. YACHT - DAY

MEL(screaming sexily over high winds)

Oh, Roddy! Nobody does a tacky jibe better than you!! Toss me another bologna sandwich, then meet me in the saloon for a Russian mule and cake!!

Mel scoops fish out of water with her free hand, turns to camera, winks, then falls into water.Roddy's arms!!!

At least I got Astaire replaced. His tap shoes were not only giving me a huge headache, but they were wrecking the deck.

Practising my hiking with the stairwell railing, for my yacht scene

It's funny how one single photo can set a whole production into motion, like the shot below. It reminded me of Audrey Hepburn in the 1957 movie Funny Face. She was 28 in that picture and her love interest, Fred Astaire, was 58. It happens. But reeeeally - Mr. Astaire? Out of all Hollywood?

What's even more shocking is that I am approaching Mr. Astaire's age but I still identify more with Ms. Hepburn. Would I do a film with a male love interest who's only 28? Hm, let me think about it.

Adding to the vibe was the winged eyeliner, which got there from a mascara incident on one eye, which I tried to replicate on the other rather than starting over. Just going with the flow.

Feeling impish like Amélie or Audrey Hepburn

I had a Skype interview that morning with Margaret Manning of Sixty & Me. I am not 60. I am still in my very mid-50s, and when I told Margaret, she still wanted to interview me, plus I liked the topics she had lined up. The first episode (of five in total) went up today, HERE. It's called:

If you're wondering why I am looking up during the talk, it's because I use a big monitor above my webcam. Next time I'll fix that.

I have to say, after my previous podcast interview with Elaine of MaturePreneurial, HERE, which I posted on HERE, I thought I had learned from my mistakes. [insert cosmic guffaw here] Geez, with all these risks I'm taking with pods and Skypes, according to life gurus I should be on the superhighway to enlightenment by now. Pfffft. My GPS is busted for sure.

Bird understands me well

I'm linking up to Patti at Not Dead Yet Style for her ever-fabulous Visible Monday, and Catherine at her inimitable #iwillwearwhatilike at Not Dressed as Lamb when the time comes.

That's all for this week. Got any scripts lately you want to rewrite?! CUT!! Did you ever think Fred Astaire was sexy?

50 comments:

You are so brave and a wonderful inspiration to us all. Life is too short to live it in a predesigned box. The boxes that women have been put in for so many years may be wrapped with a pink ribbon,but they are still a box. You show us that there is joy and a colorful world waiting outside the box . . . That takes courage, you rock!Stay happy and young that heart.Connie

Oh gee that last shot of you on the stairway is so lovely!! I loved the interview. It's always fulfilling in a different way to hear ulur voice and especially to feel the sincerity pouring from you Melanie!! You have wonderful dancing eyebrows girlfriend!! They are so very expressive and hopeful!! Thank you for including the interview piece!Audrey would have loved you. I'm sure Fred A. was a very nice man and we know what magic feet he had! Maybe Ginger Rogers sae his sexy side but i think he mostly came off as a smokin dancer not a smokin hot lover.

My eyebrows live in another universe, I'm sure of it. And I agree that most of the smoke was probably coming from his feet, heh. I like hearing other people's voices, but I don't like hearing my own. And I really enjoyed this simple outfit, and it was practical too, not usually my strong point. Heh. xox

Oh yeah, Gene Kelly, hands-down favourite with me too. And Danny Kaye fits in there somewhere too, like a funnier Kelly. You should have seen my place for the interview, clothing all over the place, as standby props. But my clothes are also my security blanket so that was good too. I was nervous. In the end, Margaret put me at ease. Thanks, Shelley. xox

Ditto to my comment on IG about how perfectly lovely you look. Gamine suits you! And yes to a 28-year-old man - why not? And I love the drawing with the flying cat and dog! I'm glad they had the windsock to check conditions. ;-)

Fabulous interview Mel, I love listening to creative women first thing in the morning. Beats the hell out of studying hurricane paths, and getting freaky. I know, Audrey could have scooped up any young Hollywood hunk, as could you. Good thing we grown-ups are already happily partnered. And thanks for the honor of being your PA! Next time I'll arrange for a bucket of pastries, xox

You'd never ever be fired with buckets of pastries. Hahaha!! I'm glad the hurricane is behind you now and hope that you will have power back on SOON!!!! I make the mistake of checking the news in the morning. Gaaa!!! Hope you are okay, Patti.

I must try that modified stair pose! We'll call it "the Audrey" (TM). Good luck in getting your part - who wouldn't want you?? You do have that something about you that reminds of Audrey! Ugh, I hated that age difference in that movie, so creepy.

Yes, nothing like pretending you're hanging over the side of a sailboat to show off an outfit. Hahaha!! I didn't like the movie because the age difference and casting of Astaire. I really WANTED to like it and felt ripped off. Hahaha. But I liked the beatnik scenes.

oh you're perfect in your Audrey/Amelie style!, you rock!!, and you look gorgeous!. Lovely gamine style! And I always thought that Fred Astaire looks like an old man trying to look younger, with lots of energy, which makes him look even more creepy.An actor in his sixties and an actress in her thirties (or younger) playing a couple. That's so usual! If it was a middle aged woman and a younger man, then they would make a whole film about it, it would be the plot!!besos

Hahaha, I like your description of Mr. Astaire. I kind of liked his singing if I didn't have to be his love interest. Of course I was always distracted by his dancing and Ginger Rogers' gowns. You are also so right - the reverse age difference would be the plot. Doh. We need more women-directed films.

Audrey, I mean Mel, love ❤️ this post and interview. You have so much vibrance!I was surprised to hear your speaking voice, it sounds so lyrical and now that makes sense, as I see you more clearly now. Love the circular- energy- vibe comment: I do see experience that too, on the street when someone comments on what I am wearing, and I certainly imagine it happens to you often.Loved your partially winged mascara, the bright jumpsuit , and the dance of the green fringed boots on the screen.

I always wanted a husky Demi Moore voice. I can put it on but it's not my natural voice. Oh well. And I'm not always that animated - I was hyped for the interview. I'm glad you know what I'm talking about regarding the circular energy action. It's the best! Thanks for your comment, Elle. xox

Mel, for me, your blog is a delightful opportunity to peep into your creative mind and enjoy your flavor. It's always a pick me up. And, not to sound TOO creepy, but what fun to hear your voice on the Skype interview! I half expected to hear a plug for second hand fashion! Keep up the happy making, Mel!

You have such a great name! Hahaha!!I'm like that too - hearing the voice makes me feel like I know a person better. I don't think it's creepy, I hope. One of the episodes is about secondhand/vintage fashion, so you weren't wrong there. Heh. Thanks so much for listening!