Back in the suit-n-tie days, Larry Talbot returns to Wales after finding out his brother died. Larry thinks it’s a good opportunity to reconcile with his estranged father. Nice timing for a family patching as Larry’s about to become the family dog.

While out on the town, Larry buys a stylish walking cane with a silver wolf’s head for a handle. Looks badass. So much so, he uses it to kill a rogue wolf, sustaining a Band-Aid™ worthy wound during the furry fracas. He later learns that wolf was the son of a gypsy, and…(wait for it)…a WEREWOLF! The wolf man curse has now been non-sexually transferred to Larry. And once the full moon rises, no fire hydrants within miles are safe.

Once he finds out he’s behind all the village attacks, Lon Chaney, Jr.’s painfully remorseful Larry Talbot/Wolf Man actually makes you feel sorry for him. But don’t try and pet him soothingly in wolf form as your arm will no longer be yours to swing around at dances and/or flight decks.

The entire werewolf mythology — needing a haircut when the moon is full, silver ammunition (or handles on whacking canes), pentagrams, wolfsbane, neck biting and/or neck ripping — comes from this enduring and resonant story of what happens when you’re bitten by a wolf. And not just any old wolfy flea bag…one that’s cursed.

The ultra eerie woods and clinging fog impose a sense of tangible dread, as does that freaky, old-as-dirt gypsy woman who recites the famous werewolf poem: “He who drinks beer by the light of the moon, turns into a jackass, a moron, a goon.” (Okay, I may have not remembered that poem correctly.)

You probably already saw The Wolf Man, a landmark horror movie, when it came out in 1941. Those of you who haven’t watched since then, do so again. Today if possible. Those of you who haven’t watched it at all, you can’t really call yourself a horror movie fan until you do. The Wolf Man is required viewing, people.

In the first sequel to the awesome Ginger Snaps lycanthrope trilogy, Brigitte, the beleaguered younger teen sister of Ginger, has been infected with the blood of her werewolf sister. In order to keep from having to shave her legs every five minutes, she distills an injectable serum from wolfsbane to keep the wolf within at bay. Yep, a junkie werewolf.

Documenting her tracks she makes a cut somewhere on her lower person (slightly below the Fun Zone) to calculate how long it takes to heal — and determines if she’s wolfing up a lot faster than, say, yesterday. She is.

Thinking Brigitte’s a drug addict, the cops dump her off in a halfway hospital full of abuse and substance abuse chicks. The guidance counselor is a reformed addict so she thinks she has Brigitte figured out. She does not. Where most girls are content to get high off pot, pills, cocaine, goofers and glue sticks, Brigitte, the counselor believes, found a way to get high off wolfsbane.

A socially-misfit pre-teen girl named Ghost, whose grandma or mom or aunt is in the burn ward wrapped up like a mummy, wanders the halls, assisting and spying wherever she can. She reads werewolf comic books and suspects Brigitte to be one.

Finding a way to escape the hospital, Brigitte and Ghost go to the little girl’s house out in the woods. A temporary shelter at best because a werewolf is after them. It was after them in the hospital, too, but I forgot to mention it. They set traps for the beast, but during the course of the night Brigitte discovers she and the werewolf outside are not the only monsters running loose.

Things get really (OK, I’ll say it again) hairy when the guidance counselor tracks them down and has an ugly confrontation that does not end in sexy results. Brigitte, unable to control her transformation any longer, starts getting long in the tooth, if you catch my drift. There are lots of cool scenes worth mentioning, but the one that really resonates is a dozen girls self-diddling in a therapy class. I have GOT to enroll in that class next semester.

Ginger Snaps II: Unleashed (2004) never pees on a fire hydrant of predictability, nor will you be able to figure out Ghost’s jaw-dropping secret until the last scene. (No, she’s not a werewolfor a mini Bigfoot). Superb lesbian werewolf entertainment. What’s that — you haven’t heard of a lesbian werewolf movie before? We need to talk…