"Jessica and Ashlee never did the photoshoot with David LaChapelle. He is bitter because the girls refused to compromise their integrity due to the type of shots he wanted to take. The girls were willing to compromise ideas and bring them into a more believable/fan friendly format but David LaChapelle was unwilling to work with them. It was his way or the highway. The Simpson girls chose the highway! They will never compromise their values for a photoshoot. They will always be true to their hearts and if that is uncool then they completely welcome being uncool! One must stand strong to remain strong!"

Everyone who's read this has already pointed out that, after the Dukes promotional push, Jessica pretty much has to bathe in giraffe semen to compromise her values. But the story doesn't end here. 'Cause see, LaChappelle re-rebuts!

"I want to apologize to the Simpson family, because I never meant any offense - to either Marge or Bart or Homer or the rest of them. Matt Groening is a genius, and I never meant to offend him by association. Those Simpsons rule."