Watch out for organized, highly trained teams of shoplifters in your local mall. They aren’t small-time operators—they stole $23,000 worth of bras and panties from a West VirginiaVictoria’s Secret. No, really.

A United Airlines crew was apparently forced to use duct tape to restrain an unruly passenger after the normal ankle cuffs kept slipping off. The passenger, who was apparently quite intoxicated after having several drinks at the airport (she also brought alcohol onto the plane), is accused of slapping a flight attendant on the behind, and grabbing and pulling the hair of a passenger whom she’d fallen on.

How long does it take for United Airlines to get a maintenance crew over to your plane so that they can “fix” something with duct tape? The answer is 45 minutes, not including the time it took to “de-plane” the passengers.