This is a good one. So, my house almost burned down this weekend. Here's the story:

It was 4:00 in freakin’ the morning, and my brain was undergoing an epic battle between my body’s desire to remain in a deep sleep and a primal urge to reach a state of semi-awakeness that comes as the result of very loud, very repetitive noises being blasted into my ears. I groggily pulled myself out of bed. Waking up in single digits just isn’t my thing. I forced myself to get my bearings as I found the source of the noise. It was coming from outside. I stumbled to the window and slammed it shut as I muttered a curse, and fell back into my bed and drifted back to sleep… almost. Right as I was entering back into a deep slumber, my brain clicked on. Everything felt wrong. The sound wasn’t gone. Something was off. My eyes bolted open. I could still hear the squawking… then it dawned on me. “It’s a fire alarm… and I’m pretty sure they don’t test those at 4:00 in the morning…...