Constructive criticism: when to speak up

Submitted on Thursday December 19th, 2013

Caring for a family member often involves collaborating with other relatives. Sometimes you will agree. Sometimes you won't. Debating every item may not be the best use of family time. In some situations, the wisest course is to be quiet and let others do it their way.

That said, there are times when you should speak up, specifically when another person’s safety or deep well-being is at risk.

One simple way to decide when to speak is to ask yourself the following three questions:

Is it true? Watch out for assumptions. Do you know the facts? Did your sister really miss giving mom her meds several nights last week? Or is that only what seems to make sense, based on what you’ve seen (or what you’ve heard from someone else)? Instead of jumping to a conclusion, acknowledge what you don’t know and ask for information. Most important, don’t ask a third party. Go directly to the source.