Burning Inquiry — Silas & Bruse Fidget Spinners

Reality can be heavy with burden, and, at times, feel like you’re entrenched by your circumstances. School, work, the responsibilities of life; each has the potential to become menial tasks we’re perpetually chained to. Of course there are ways to cope with this stark truth. Some people break from traditional norms after becoming romanced by the poetry of Henry David Thoreau, or fiction like The 4-Hour Workweek. Still others find fleeting happiness from inconsequential extracurricular activities: calligraphy, glass scorpion collections, watching professional sports, etc. Still, it is most common to be so restricted by life that simple access to a distraction, such as the twiddling of thumbs, is needed. Enter the fidget spinner.

Fidget spinners are accessible, easy to use, and conclusively unproductive. They’re also often annoying to those in proximity to the user. While they are the most recent craze for distraction-prone individuals, their concept is nothing new. Before fidget spinners there was bottle flipping, and prior to bottle flipping there was a battle for attention between Snapchat filters and Pokemon Go. Not long ago people were grinding Tech Decks on every surface imaginable. And of course there was an era of paper football and cootie catchers which seems too far gone to remember now. You see, occupying ourselves with the objects we have at hand goes way back. You might even say it’s a way of life, or rather a distraction from one.

Business Partners

This time in the Inquiry Cycle business partners Silas Renn, Seeker Adept and Bruse Tarl, Boorish Herder will set up shop and show you all their wares. “We’ve got fidget spinners of all varieties!” When left to its own devices, this combination of commanders allows us to construct twice the amount of trinkets we normally could through the double strike granted towards our Seeker’s combat damage trigger. With so many different artifacts from Magic’s history, the toughest part about building the deck will be deciding which gadgets we’ll wish to include. Consequently, we’ll access a toolbox approach to both deck building and to the board state of an EDH game, fidgeting with the materials we have on hand (or on the battlefield, in the graveyard, or in the library), while totally annoying those around us.

To Make a Fidget Toy You’ve Got To Break…

Inquiry #1: What staples are to be included to make the deck run smoothly?

Spinning Tricks

Inquiry #2: What does the deck do besides spinning on one axis?

When you play with a fidget spinner it’s easy to get caught up in unnecessary repetition loops. If you aren’t careful it can become another binding menial task. One way to transcend this sorry state is to begin doing tricks while you fidget. This is where all that pointless flash actually becomes impressive, lending purpose to your jittery behavior. There are, of course, basic fidget tricks such as Cranial Plating and Scroll of the Masters, but we can do better. For example, what if we used cards like Disciple of the Vault, Reckless Fireweaver, Underhanded Designs, Pia’s Revolution, and Aetherflux Reservoir to kill the table with our hyper activity? I especially like combining the nuclear artifact with Tainted Sigil. Cool trick!

How Do You Like Your Eggs in the Morning?

You’ll see below that the list I put together doesn’t include all of the “fidget” buttons I pressed on, but plays more of a balanced breakfast of distracting actions. Obviously I’ve thought through some degenerate paths the deck can be taken, so the presented list is somewhat of a concession to the power level of my playgroup. In the games I’ve had with the list so far I’ve been generally pleased with the variety of options I have to fidget with each turn cycle. Basically, there’s plenty to do, while at the same time I’m not bothering the table by playing oppressive solitaire and combo-ing off. The recipe is really up to you though.

As mentioned, I have had the chance to pilot this list a couple of times now and its turned my usual steady hand incessantly neurotic. For that reason, a word of warning when playing the deck: if all these “fidget” pieces come together, you’re going to be twitching with manic, cackling energy. At this point it’s a good idea to burn off some excess. Stand up and, as a token of good favor, offer to get the table some drinks from the refrigerator, but apologetically clarify that you only have Four Loko.

Cheers to the brewers!

Mr. Walter

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Eric is a graying family man, math teacher at an IB public high school, and a member of a casual weekly EDH playgroup in Fresno, California. He enjoys interactive play and complex board states, and has only recently resolved to include win conditions in the decks he builds.