Saturday, August 22, 2015

The book is out, here's the e book version and here's the paperback version. The book should be available everywhere soon. Anyone who isn't familiar with Chris's story. His suicide note is below. Chris Mackney committed suicide on December 29, 2013.

(Chris Mackney with his mom during college)
Suicide note is below (please note children's names are pseudonyms, James and Ruby)

The pain from the emotional abuse, psychological abuse, parental alienation
and legal abuse has been unbearable. My children and I were abused and
when spoke out and no one did anything. No one. Not the attorneys, doctors or
Judges. They all recognized the patterns of behavior and the source of
conflict and turned a blind eye and then blocked me from bringing in a third
party or Guardian Ad Litem to identify the abuse. At any point
throughout this case, if the Court had ruled in my favor on any of my motions,
the outcome would have been different. At any point, if my ex-wife had shown
ANY kind of act of good faith, the outcome would have been different. The facts
are that not one of my motions was ever granted by the Court and my ex-wife
never once acted in good faith.
Judge Randy Bellows did not like my explanation for the conflict and chose
to ignore the evidence contradictory with its views. He did not want to admit
that he had been so easily mislead. There is nothing I could do to end the
abuse or change the view of the Court. As long as I was the problem,
there was no reason to consider an alternate narrative.
I had no power or control in my marriage and I had even less when the
divorce began. It was not an accident that I ended up with no visitation
with my own children and no ability to monitor their emotional welfare. It
was orchestrated by attorneys who were paid not to settle
and insisted on litigating every single issue without discussion. It
was all done to increase the stress and pressure. Nothing I said
mattered. My rights as a parent did not matter. They had the power,
control, money and the kids and they were not negotiating. Even after I gave my
ex-wife full custody, just to appease her. She insisted on litigating
visitation, asking the Judge for “no visitation” even
though there was no abuse. She also asked for all the assets in the
marriage. I got absolutely nothing and I had to pay her legal bills.
The decision was made to eliminate me from my children’s lives the day I
discovered that my ex-wife
had hidden her father’s murder conviction, on June 23, 2008. The very
next day, her
father hired two attorney’s who advertise that they are ‘not the type to
settle, so have your wallet open’. Their job was to “get orders” as Jim
Cottrell described it in Court and keep the legal and financial pressure up as
high as possible.
Make no mistake, this case was never about money or the children. My
ex-wife’smultiple requests that I leave town and give up my children is
evidence of that. It was about a pathological
need for control and domination. I saw behind the mask and the facade
and I needed to be eliminated, just like Sam
Degelia needed to be eliminated for discovering Pete
Scamardo was trafficking heroin. The plan was to have attorneys
negatively interpret anything I say or do and then litigate every issue. I
needed to be portrayed as the source of conflict, so the legal and financial
pressure could be applied. With no money, I could not afford an attorney
to protect me. By denying access to the Children, they would use any
reaction from me to distract from the real problem. My reactions to being
abused, controlled, bullied and alienated were not the source of conflict. When
I spoke out or asked the Court for help, I was ignored and silenced. The
patterns of high conflict behavior exist throughout my ex-wife and her family’s
past. I only pointed out how the pattern seemed to match the patterns
also found in ‘high-conflict’ divorce.
Refusing to negotiate or resolve differences outside of Court and then
paying attorneys over $1 Million in legal fees does not lead to peace.
But, that was the point. I never wanted to speak out and cause any
embarrassment to my children or my ex-wife. I swear I didn’t. I
only wanted to be away and free from my ex-wife and be the best father I could
be. I made countless offers to settle and asked what they wanted to keep
us out of Court. I never received a response to any of my requests or
proposals. Actually, I did get one proposal the night before our Division of
assets hearing, that was completely in bad faith and unlivable. It was
not a ‘good faith’ effort.
They finally told my attorney in 2011, that
if I left town and gave up all efforts to see my children, that would end the
conflict. I wanted so much to be free of the litigation and the
madness that I did just as they requested. I left town and moved to
Dallas, TX, thinking I would never see my children again, but at least the
nightmare would be over. it broke my heart and my spirit, but at least I
didn’t have to worry about going to jail (or so I thought). I got a job
and started going to the gym, trying to get healthy again. The first
month I was in Dallas working, my ex-wife tracked me down and had Child Support
Enforcement come after me. Now that I was in Dallas, I would have no
ability to go to Court to change the order. When I appealed to my
ex-wife’s attorney, requesting that they voluntarily lower my child support,
they refused to respond. I had no leverage, so I said that if they do not
voluntarily agree to a reduction, I would have no other choice but to speak out
about the abuses. They decided that I was trying to extort money from
them, even though I left town, as requested, and took my emails to the
Commonwealth’s attorney to have me arrested for attempted extortion.
The Commonwealth’s attorney had me arrested in Dallas and extradited back to
Virginia, where I was put on trial for a felony. I
begged the Commonwealth’s attorney and my ex-wife to plead guilty to a
misdemeanor, as I did not wish to risk a felony conviction. They both
refused. This was also confirmation that my ex-wife did not care about the
money or the children. So, we went to trial and I was found not
guilty. I did not ask for any money from her and the child support I owe
is to my children, not my ex-wife. The Jury saw that my attempts to
reduce my child support were not an effort to obtain money at all, and the law
supported the verdict. It was a clear effort on the Commonwealth’s
attorney to silence me for threatening to speak out about the fraud of Dr.
Samenow, one
of their star witnesses, and the Cover-up by Judge Randy Bellows. Why
else wouldn’t they accept a plea to my first criminal charge, ever?
When I was released from Jail again, I asked my ex-wife’s attorney, again to
voluntarily reduce my child support or to appoint a Guardian Ad Litem for the
children. Even after they put me in jail and had me tried for a felony,
they refused to show any good faith. I got no response from my ex-wife’s
attorney. My child support was still far beyond my ability to pay and now
I was without a job.
It was obvious to me a long time ago, that I would be
‘bullied until eternity’, as I wrote my attorney in 2008. For them to
come after me again after leaving town, refuse to let me plead guilty to a
lesser charge and to refuse to voluntarily reduce my child support, it was even
more obvious that the only objective was to keep the legal, financial, and
emotional pressure on me. I was being bullied to death.
I never wanted to speak out about any of this. All I wanted was a fair
and reasonable child support, fair and reasonable visitation with my children
and be free to move on with my life. The only reason I chose to write this blog
and speak out about the abuse was because I thought it would give me some kind
of leverage, as I had none. I made it clear to my ex-wife’s attorney that
the Court was not allowing me to change the orders, I had no information about
my children and my child support was far beyond my ability to pay. I was
hoping for some act of good faith to let me know that they wanted to reduce the
conflict. It never came, not in 5 years. I felt that my only recourse
was to speak out about the abuse and injustice in order to get the legal and
psychological help I needed to manage the conflict, so that we could both
parent our children. I reached out to my ex-wife’s attorney again to ask
for ANY other alternative. They offered none, so I started the
blog. Even after I started the Blog, I reached out again to tell them I
would take down the blog if a Guardian Ad Litem could be appointed. They
never responded. Dina knew this would be the outcome and didn’t care. As
long as I was gone.
In hindsight, I recognize that my reactions to being bullied, abused and
denied access to my children gave my ex-wife’s attorney the ammunition they
were looking for to bring me into Court, but nothing I said or done would have
made a difference. I was powerless. I thought that at some point a third party
would be involved that would recognize that my reactions were from the
emotional abuse; being denied access to my children and bullied in Court. The
Court refused at least 6 requests for third party intervention. All of the
research said that a third party was the recommended course of action in these
situations. A third party was the only way to truly understand the
conflict. I was not the person being portrayed in Court. I had no
control over anything. The Court would only listen to my ex-wife’s
attorney granting all of their motions and agreeing to all their
“over-reaching” remedies. When I read online about the patterns of
behavior of high conflict divorce and how my ex-wife was the one blocking
access to the children and negatively interpreting everything I did, I spoke
out and tried to address the source of conflict. No one would tell me I
was wrong, but no one would speak out about the abuse on my behalf, not the
Doctors or attorneys.
Experts in psychology have called it abuse, but none would make such a
‘diagnosis’, which I could then take to Court to obtain relief. As long
as the pattern of behavior was not called ‘abuse’, my reactions would not be
viewed in its proper context, by the Court.
The way I looked at it was that if I remained silent, the abuse would
continue. It did. When I finally decided to speak out, they didn’t
care. They didn’t care about how it would affect Dr. Samenow, Judge
Bellows, our children, themselves or anyone else. They were not going to
take their foot off the back of my neck. They were fully invested in
having me out of my children’s lives, permanently.
Bullying and parental alienation are all forms of emotional abuse.
Psychopathy is an emotional dysfunction. People with psychopathy are identified
by how they handle conflict. It is the disturbing lack of empathy, guilt
shame, remorse that give them away. They are completely unaffected by the
distress of others. As long as they get what they want, you may never see that
side of them. If you are in a position of power or status, you will
probably not see that side of them either. However, people that are close
to them or are of little value to them, will eventually see the pattern.
They will slowly begin to realize they are being controlled manipulated
and ‘gas
lighted’. Without even realizing it, you learn to go along to get
along. If you break from this, you will experience their wrath. I
remember on Memorial Day 2008, when I went to pick up my children for lunch at
their grandparents house, Pete Scamardo came outside to confront me. I looked
at him and said “Pete, you are nothing but a bully.” He responded “That’s
right, and I love it!’ He said this in front of Dina, he wife and my
children. When I got in the car to take my children to lunch, my son
asked me “Dad, what’s a bully?”
Pete Scamardo and Dina Mackney are the most ‘successful’
father/daughter psychopaths ever to fool the Court. Pete Scamardo has
over 100 lawsuits in Fairfax County alone. The litigants in these cases can
confirm the patterns. The enitre Scamardo family was accused
of fraud by Maryland National Bank for $80 Million. Pete and Dina also circumvented
the Thoroughbred Ownership licensing laws of Virginia, Maryland and West Virginia. One
of her friends from college now refers to her the ‘c’ word after seeing
the real Dina, after working with her. Most of you will not see that side
of her, unless you run into conflict. While I am the one that took my own
life, this was a murder conceived and financed by Pete Scamardo who hired Jim
Cottrell and Kyle Bartol the day after I discovered he was a murderer, and then
paid over $1 Million in legal fees to make it happen. People ‘targeted’
by psychopaths call it ‘murder by
suicide’.
I was a good father to my children when I was in their lives. No one
can dispute or deny that. Dr. Samenow even admitted under oath that I had
a ‘palpable’ relationship with my kids. I know I was an extremely loving and
positive influence on their lives and it kills me that I even feel like I have
to defend my parenting. My children were the only source of joy and happiness
in my marriage. For the Judge Bellows to deny parents and children a
‘palpable relationship’ and each other’s love is corruption. He did not
want it to be known that Dr. Samenow committed fraud or that Judge
Terrence Ney had a ‘close relationship’ with a convicted murderer or a
parental alienator.
The love that my daughter and I shared was truly special. She is such
a sweet, kind and gentle spirit. I am so sorry that I will not be there to see
her grow into a beautiful woman. It absolutely crushed me to not be in
her life over the last three years. I worked very hard as a father to build her
confidence and self-esteem. She is smart, funny and considerate, but she
didn’t know it yet. I pray that she realizes her strengths and her
confidence in herself will continue to grow. I love you dearly, Ruby.
My son James was just entering Kindergarten, when I lost access to him. He is
gregarious, outgoing and a great athlete. He is smart and fearless.
He could have just as much fun by himself as he could with other kids.
Even the older boys in our neighborhood wanted to play with Jack. It
absolutely breaks my heart that I will not be able to help him grow into a man.
I love you to, James. I miss you both so much.
My identity was taken from me, as result of this process. When it
began, I was a commercial real estate broker with CB Richard Ellis. I
lived by the Golden rule and made a living by bringing parties together and
finding the common ground. My reputation as a broker was built on my
honesty and integrity. When it ended, I was broke, homeless, unemployed and had
no visitation with my own children. I had no confidence and was paralyzed
with fear that I would be going to jail whenever my ex-wife wanted.
Nothing I could say or do would stop it. This
is what being to death or ‘targeted’ by a psychopath looks like. This
is the outcome. I didn’t somehow change into a ‘high-conflict’ person or
lose my ability to steer clear of the law. I’ve had never been arrested,
depressed, homeless or suicidal before this process. The stress and pressure
applied to me was deliberate and nothing I could do or say would get me any
relief. Nothing I or my attorneys said to my ex-wife’s attorney or to the
Court made any difference. Truth, facts, evidence or even the best
interest of my children had no affect on the outcome.
The family court system is broken, but from my experience, it is not the
laws, its the lawyers. They feed off of the conflict. They are not
hired to reduce conflict or protect the best interest of children, which is why
third parties need to be involved. It should be mandatory for children to
have a guardian ad litem, with extensive training in abuse and aggression. It
is absolutely shameful that the Fairfax County Court did nothing to intervene
or understand the ongoing conflict.
Judge Randy Bellows also used the Children as punishment, by withholding access
for failing to fax a receipt. The entire conflict centered around the
denial of access to the children, it was inconceivable to me that he would use
children like this. This is exactly what my ex-wife was doing and now
Judge Bellows was doing it for her.
To all my family, friends and the people that supported me through this
process, I am so sorry. I know my reactions and behavior throughout this
process did not always make sense. None of this made sense to me either.
I had no help and the only suggestion I got from my attorneys was to
remain silent. At first, I did what I was told, remained silent and
listened to my attorneys. Then after I had given my ex-wife full custody
to try and appease her, I learned about Psychopathy and emailed Dr. Samenow
about my concerns and asked him for help. Of course, I was ignored.
As the conflict continued, I was forced to defend myself. When that
didn’t work, I thought I could get the help I needed by speaking out. There is
no right or wrong way to defend yourself from abuse. Naively, I thought
that abuse was abuse and it would be recognized and something would be
done. I thought speaking out would end the abuse or at least get them to
back off. It didn’t. When no one did anything they were emboldened.
I took my own life because I had come to the conclusion that there was
nothing I could do or say to end the abuse. Every time I got up off my
knees, I would get knocked back down. They were not going to let me be
the father I wanted to be to my children. People may think I am a coward for
giving up on my children, but I didn’t see how I was going to heal from this. I
have no money for an attorney, therapy or medication. I have lost 4 jobs
because of this process. I was going to be at their mercy for the rest of my
life and they had shown me none. Being alienated, legally abused,
emotionally abused, isolated and financially ruined are all a recipe for
suicide. I wish I were stronger to keep going, but the emotional pain and
fear of going to court and jail became overwhelming. I became paralyzed with
fear. I couldn’t flee and I could not fight. I was never going to be
allowed to heal or recover. I wish I were better at articulating the
psychological and emotional trauma I experienced. I could fill a book with all
the lies and mysterious rulings of the Court. Never have I experienced
this kind of pain. I asked for help, but good men did nothing and evil
prevailed. All I wanted was a Guardian Ad Litem for my children. Any
third party would have been easily been able to confirm or refute all of my
allegations, which is why none was ever appointed to protect the children or
reduce the conflict.
Abuse is about power and control. Stand up for the abused and speak out.
If someone speaks out about abuse, believe them.
Please teach my children empathy and about emotional invalidation and ‘gas-lighting’
or they may end up like me.
God have mercy on my soul.
Chris Mackney