Symptom Intensification from Grief

Tru here on Thursday.
Last night another dementia friend died. She and i had many commonalities in life’s circumstances, and i will miss her morning greetings on FaceBook … then our little comments throughout the day.

We all experience grief at friend’s death,
but i think we forget that EVERYTHING requires more focus when our brain is dealing with cognitive decline,
and grief (like pain) messes with our neurological signals.
All circuits are busy.

So, it feels like fewer brain communication signals are really getting to their destination.
… all circuits are busy,
so try again later.

No surprise that brain-intensive activities are compromised with grief,but i think important to note thatmany other “automatic” activities can be compromised,for those of us with cognitive decline:

Discover i am tripping much more again this morning.
Makes sense because walking takes much more concentration when brain is struggling with swiss-cheese holes
— then adding grief disrupts that needed concentration.

Chewing requires concentration, otherwise we bite tongue, cheek, etc.

This may be too much information, but remembering to wash hands takes concentration;
this is an increasing problem for me lately.

Frustration level very high.
Only been awake 4hrs (since 3:30am) but tolerance and patience levels aleady similar to late afternoon.
Will need to mostly avoid social networks today.

So …

Like illness, this symptom intensification is probably a preview of things to come, and an opportunity to “practice” techniques and strategies usually un-needed in my day-to-day Life during this stage.
Another opportunity to prepare for symptom progression in a gradual way.

.

Appropriate mobility tools (for me that means added use of walker or serviceDog for balance inside the house as well as outdoors).

Schedule extra sleep, if possible.

For me, it is not timing for trying something new. Only well-loved familiar movies, foods, etc.

.

Examples of recent communication glitches (this section was written with my husband’s help):

1. I am searching harder for words, as usual they are often easy common words instead of more complex technical terms. Make sure partner knows that communication is extra-compromised right now, and strategize TOGETHER.

2. Not as much a “partner” in our “joint” projects. So it may be that asking for my help in his projects, (right now) is not so beneficial or rewarding.

3. He says i am consistently unable to remember his responses for 20 minutes. Unfortunately, if i dont remember his schedule that doesnt mean he does not need to leave for work. He does not know the many MANY moments i think of asking him whether he needs to work today, but avoid asking because i know i already asked — i just cannot remember the answer. For ME, that means TODAY’S schedule needs posted on the fridge (in addition to the “normal” locations).

4. Most recently he says a few minutes ago I told him “I need a new card”, but could not specify what kind of “card”, among the many possibilities of “card”. Strategy options might be to hold up an example, pause the conversation, or try writing/drawing it out.

In relationship, recognize it is neither of YOU; the added current struggles are combination of stress and disease.

Death of friend, pet, etc, is a huge change in daily routine.
Circuits overload and nothing is the same.

When we are floundering like this,
maybe it is time to reach out — connect with friend, family member, Dementia Mentors or another chat group such as DAI or DAA Discussions.
We are all on this path together. There is a good chance you will bump shoulders with someone who has walked this portion of the path.

((Previously, i had a notice here at base of each entry with announcement and Logo for HealthLine 2019 Best Alz Blogs. To my surprise, after HealthLine contacted me in January with fact that i was included in 2019 Best Alz Blogs, then announcing it publically on March 18, ten days later they decided against including writers with Mild Cognitive Impairment, and removed this blog from their listing, leaving only one first-person perspective. Now i am deleting each of those announcements of my inclusion on HealthLine Best Alz Blogs for 2019. i hope they soon decide to include at least one other first-person perspective in their “Best Alzheimers Blogs”.)) >> https://www.healthline.com/health/alzheimers-disease/best-blogs-of-the-year

6 thoughts on “Symptom Intensification from Grief”

hi tru
in reading your further advance of symptoms I began to realize how our mind depends on circuits and their interconnectivity. my condition is further deteriorating with I believe small strokes in the central region of the brain which unfortunately has much white matter and hence affects the interconnectivity more than any direct effect of neuron death. in particular my balance conditions are just about to the level of needing a cane.
the way you cope is truly inspirational for me. thank you tru.
kind regards
david

thank you tru, I know how hard it is for you to do this. I really left out the main thought and that is that my balance is affected by the circuits in that our perceptions may tell our mind that it is off balance but our mind takes too much time to respond.
but the above is really incidental to my main concern and that is my continued deterioration that isn’t going to stop. this is really a situation in that I know I am not going to get better and will get worse. that is probably the main reason that I find inspiration in your posts.
it is not necessary to respond but do take care