Thursday, October 4, 2007

Absurdistan

Wow, I've been quite the slacker at posting lately. First of all, I thank all of you who have commented on various posts. I've been really bad at acknowledging my visitors and visiting back, but I hope to do a better job from now on.

I think that Husband and I have decided what to do. We are going to try surrogacy. There. I said it. This post is pretty much the first time I've admitted it out loud. I'm mostly happy with our decision. This is the last avenue to explore to have a biological child. If surrogacy doesn't work, we will be able to commit ourselves to adoption 100%. I think that's fair.

Husband and I both agreed that we cannot wait a year or more to try surrogacy (one of my main sticking points), so we will likely cycle in spring 2008. Probably May-ish. That will give us time to finish paying off the IVF and FET cycles as well as save a little money to get us started. May seems doable but at the same time seems sooooooo far away. I am not a patient person, and I am already feeling antsy and like I'm crawling out of my skin with impatience. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the next several months. Hopefully school will help. I signed up for two courses next spring (I'm in graduate school), and this year will be over before I know it. Argh.

Like I said, I'm mostly happy with our decision. I would regret it forever if we never tried this. We're not rich by any means, but with some careful saving, surrogacy is manageable. Plus, we likely would be unable to try surrogacy if we adopted first, and who knows what will happen with my eggs in the next few years, so it's logical to try surrogacy first. There are times when I still want to smack myself and ask, "WTF are you doing?" I've often referred to our considering surrogacy as descending into the absurd. Well, I guess we are moving to the land of the absurd...Absurdistan.