“I want to be generous one day, when I’m more financially comfortable,” so many of us say.

“I’ll volunteer more of my time, when I get to where I want to in my career,” we also add.

“I’ll help people get opportunities, when I have all the connections,” we promise.

Why do we do this? Probably because we think that we’re not rich yet. We think we don’t have the resources to help others yet. We think there’s a point when we will wake up and say, “I have more than enough now. Now, I can help others.”

The problem with holding off generosity

Don’t we often expect it to be the other way round? We allow our desires– our wants, needs, wildest dreams– to shape what we do and say.

But, what we do and say also shapes who we are. We are creatures of habit, you and I, and if we deliberately make choices that push us in a certain direction, we begin to become those choices.

So what’s the problem with holding off generosity? Why can’t we wait till we’re making a comfortable income to donate? Why can’t we wait till we’ve landed our dream job to spare time for others?

It’s because when we’ve reached that point in our lives, our desires will have changed. That’s right: if you have a generous heart today– which I know you do– it doesn’t mean that you will STILL be generous 20 years from now.

You have to act on that generosity immediately. Otherwise, 20 years could go by without an act of generosity– and perhaps by then, that desire will be but a faint memory.

Generosity is dangerous

It was a whirlwind weekend of wedding gatherings, events and lots of amazing food. Loved ones traveled from near and far to celebrate our wedding as friends cheered us on. Nothing could be greater than launching our new adventures with so many blessings and well-wishes.

This past Sunday, Aaron and I celebrated a year of marriage. It’s a drop in the bucket of years ahead, but a drop nonetheless.

Since being married, I’ve become more self-aware. I’ve become more introspective, if that’s even possible, partly due to always having a patient and observant conversation partner. (There are perks to marrying a psychologist!)

And through our conversations, my husband has followed me through thick and thin as my heart faced turmoil of many kinds. We often think that adventures involve trekking to high elevations or swimming deep oceans; but adventures can happen in a small apartment, as one person pours their heart out to the other.

So, our first year has wrapped up, and I want to remember all the highs and lows. Thus, superlatives!…Continue Reading

After I graduated high school, I did not go straight to college. Instead, I packed my bags in San Francisco and boarded a flight to New Hampshire. A year later, this is what I had learned.

The Back Story…

I had planned to take a gap year between high school and college ever since my sophomore year. I wanted to see and experience something other than academics and extracurriculars. My childhood hero was Mother Theresa, so I jumped at the opportunity to work with underprivileged individuals. And somehow I found myself in Middle-of-Nowhere New Hampshire, a new young staff at an addiction-recovery program for adults mostly older than me.

During my lifetime, the world has seen several devastating earthquakes. The deadliest of these felled up to hundreds of thousands of people: Japan in 2011, Haiti in 2010, China in 2008, Indonesia in 2004.

Nepal’s recent earthquake has taken over 3000 lives, and counting.

But the death toll is really only the beginning. There’s so much more to be endured by survivors. From finding food and shelter to having access to clean water, to rebuilding lives destroyed by disaster, there is immense work to be done.

Thankfully, there are people already committed to that work: volunteer medics, rescue teams, food distribution centers, childcare facilitators, and more. Within just a few days of the earthquake, volunteers are already on the scene, partnering with survivors to provide short-term relief, and long-term recovery.

A question people sometimes ask me is, Why do you like to travel so much? To be honest, it never really occurred to me that travel was a preference; I always considered it a luxury and opportunity that everyone would take if given the choice.

As it turns out, I do have a hard time staying in one place. Growing up, my family spent a lot of time traveling, whether locally or overseas, and it taught me that a big part of experiencing life to the fullest meant spending it in different communities.

Still, I understand that not everyone loves travel. In fact, my own father is a bit of a homebody, traveling only for work and rarely, nowadays, for pleasure. In his free time, he’s content strolling through a garden, working on his paintings, reading and napping. Not bad, I admit.

So I have to ask myself what, if anything, helped cultivate that desire to get out into the world. And more importantly, I’ve thought about what I learned from traveling as a child, and why I think it’s important for other children to travel too.

I met up with some new friends this weekend, and somehow the topic of “borrowing hope” came up. It’s nothing complicated– simply the idea that when one is low on hope, hope can be borrowed from one’s friends and community. Others who experience more hope can share that hope with those who are downcast.

Hope has been on my mind lately. On a global level, I can say we live in an incredible world, but it is also a world that is broken by violence. Whatever hope we have in this world must lie beyond what we see right before us. And on a personal level, my efforts to simplify my life are reminders of where my hope is. My hope is not in my things and my distractions.

Arguments and fights– we’ve all been there. And despite the fact that these are far from enjoyable, we know that every good friendship and relationship has its tense moments. However, many of us also do things that make our arguments counterproductive. Rather than listening carefully, then speaking articulately and kindly, we lash out and seek to win….Continue Reading

Welcome to a new weekend series! In Wedding Snapshots, I’ll be sharing some photographs from my wedding and reflecting on what those special moments meant to me. I hope you’ll celebrate along with me as I reminisce!…Continue Reading

I am often not a gentle person. I’m brash, stubborn, opinionated and determined. I can be easily angered. And in my campaign to prove that I’m right, I often intimidate others into silence. This may be hard to believe, but those who know me well can testify to seeing this side of me….Continue Reading

Friends, I’ve been confounded lately by the pressure for bloggers to be more and more naked in front of their readers. No, not genuine– naked. It’s almost as though if I show my thighs or how I look when I’m sick, I’m automatically going to be more popular. Or, if I link up my Instagram account to my blog and post photos of every pumpkin-spice latte I drink, you’re going to feel more connected with me….Continue Reading

You have probably heard of the 5 love languages, often used in reference to romantic relationships. The idea is this: if you know that your partner expresses and receives love in a certain way, then it will help you better demonstrate love to her/him, and receive her/his love in return. And knowing our own love language helps us communicate our needs more clearly and effectively so that our partners can love us better….Continue Reading

Long-distance relationships are hard. It is so easy to feel frustrated, misunderstood, and generally disconnected. So what makes a long-distance relationship worthwhile? Should you stay in it? Should you go your separate ways?…Continue Reading

My husband and I became best friends about six years ago. And though we’ve only been married for two and a half months, I have some wisdom (and photos!) to share with you all. By no means do I do these things perfectly; but every good relationship requires hard work and, of course, offers immense amounts of joy. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!…Continue Reading

I’ve recently written about how we can become generous with our resources, not just with our stuff. I’m a huge fan of giving great gifts (no, not gift cards, gifts)– and will spend hours looking for the perfect present. And despite the absolute over-commercialization of the winter holidays, I cannot help but adore holiday window decorations; actually, I’m already excited. So no matter how minimalist I become, I’ll never surrender the joy of gift-giving….Continue Reading