The Setting

Captain's log, Stardate 2324.7. After travelling through an Unknown
Energy Field (tm), we have found ourselves in a strange new locale.
According to our computers, we have been transported over 1 billion
light-years across the universe. The ship chronometers also indicate that
we have travelled back in time approximately 10 million years. The
general consensus among the crew is that the Enterprise is in a place a
long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

Captain's log, Stardate 2325.2. We have encountered a great deal of
trouble after beaming down to a desert Class M world, known to the
inhabitants as "Tatooine." We were graciously invited to the home of a
jovial fellow named Jabba. Upon our arrival, we were ambushed by Jabba's
agents and imprisoned in his dungeons. I fear he plans to use us for
entertainment this evening. He has selected the strongest of us, Worf, to
fight in unarmed combat against a fearful opponent. We have not yet seen
the opponent, but know only his name, "Chewbacca", and his situation. It
seems if Chewbacca wins, the life of his friend "Han Solo" is spared. Worf
must win if we are to regain our freedom. Chewbacca must win if he is to
save the life of his friend. We can only wait for the outcome.

Chewbacca

vs.

Worf

The Commentary

BRIAN: Well, I'm going with Chewie on this one, Steve. Truly the
Wookies and the Klingons are two of the strongest humanoid creatures known
to this universe (along with Vulcans, of course), but I think the Wookie
has the upper hand here. I hate to beat a horse to death, but it comes
down to motiviation again. Chewbacca is always fired with emotion, even
when nothing significant is happening. Now he's in a battle to save both
his life AND the life of the one person he truly cares about: Han Solo.
Everyone knows that an emotional wookie is a dangerous wookie. Plus, we
have seen several examples about how Chewie HATES to lose.

What is Worf led by? While he occasionally shows anger, rage, etc., Worf
is primarily led by an emotionless sense of duty. He will be fighting
mainly to save his fellow crewmembers. Why this is noble, yes, his desire
will fall well short of what is required to defeat the wookster. As the
two competitors circle each other, sizing each other up, Worf is
calculating the best possible approach. While he is busy evaluating the
best strategy, Chewbacca steps up and literally knocks his head off.

(BTW, If this were Worf and the crew from TOS, Worf would undoubtedly win
since Kirk would say f*** the Prime Directive (tm) and get everybody out of
there. Picard's too much of a pansy to get involved.)

STEVE: That last point is definitely true. However, your earlier
arguments show that you lack some basic insight into this duel. Let's
start off with training. Worf practices his fighting daily in the
Holodeck. Every day his skills are honed to that of an awesome fighting
machine. What does Chewy do? He hangs out in strange alien bars with
his buddy Han. When he's not doing that, he's sitting in a cockpit
flying the Millenium Falcon. That's just not a healthy lifestyle!
Although he is a big Wookie, under all that fur there is just a bunch of
flab. Hans and Franz could do a whole show about him.

Another issue here is that Chewy just can't seem to do anything on his
own. He always needs help from Han, Leia, or Luke. When was the last
time he showed some initiative? He'll probably just mope around until
the fight, and then Worf will come and easily defeat him. Worf in less
than a minute.

BRIAN:I lack the basic insight into this duel??!! How is
it then that the examples you give in favor of Worf actually work
against him. Oooh, Worf trains in a holodeck. Big deal. The Holodeck
(tm) may seem lifelike, but it's relevance to real violence is about as
significant as that of Space Invaders (tm). And, yes, Chewie does hang
around in bars alot...getting into fights! And winning! He's kicked
alien ass all over this galaxy. A Klingon is nothing compared to some of
the species he's come across. He's learned some dirty tricks in those bar
room brawls, too.

And when he's "sitting around the cockpit" remember that he is also
engaged in constant shoot outs due to their renegade lifestyle -- picking
of galactic patrollers and Empirical TIE fighters (tm) will hone one's
reflexes better than any holodeck. And, despite what you say, Chewie can
handle it alone. Yes, he knows how to work on a team, but he can also be
a one-wookie wrecking crew. Worf, on the other hand, is just a sycophant
doing whatever Jean-Luc (tm) tells him. And, as I said before, Chewie
HATES to lose. Chewbacca in one swipe.

STEVE: Gimme a break! How can you compare shooting down TIE
fighters from a cockpit to hand-to-hand combat? I think you're
stretching just a bit far on that one. In addition, holodeck training
is far better than bar fighting. What takes more skill: A) Attacking a
specially created opponent whose skill level is such that it pushes your
limits, or B) knocking off some delirious drunk alien off a bar stool?
I think the answer is obvious.

Finally, I'd like to point out an interesting similarity. Did you ever
notice that both Worf and Chewbacca both wear those silver sashes?
Coinicidence? I think not. There must be some intergalactic
conspiracy going on! Either that or the K-Mart next to the movie
studio had a sale on them.

Thanks to the many people (such as Gordon Buchan and Craig Silvey) who
suggested either this or a similar match-up.According to our records,
however, we came up with it a long, long time ago.

Voter Comments

Note: We received a gajillion responses for this match. In order to keep
this a reasonable length, we had to use an Iron Fist (tm) and be ruthless about
cutting and editing responses. There were many good ones that didn't make it
-- we apologize to those you you who obviously put in some effort into your
repsonses.

RESPONSE OF THE WEEK (TM)

NOTE: Because of forces beyond our control, the regular writer of
this piece, Paul Golba, is unavailable. He was last seen leaving a
computer lab cursing "Why don't they use the &%^%$%# transporters! I
HATE STAR TREK PLOT HOLES! THIS IS WORSE THAN STAR TREK V!" Filling
in this week is fellow Seton Hall alumnus Dick Vitale:

Worf vs. Chewbacca, BABY! IT'S SHOWTIME! And talk about a mismatch.
Worf is WAY out of his league. We're talkin' St. Leo's at
Georgetown, Baby! I mean, Worf does great in-conference against other
Klingons and holodeck projections. BUT NOBODY LOSES TO KLINGONS AND
HOLODECK CHARACTERS! IT MEANS NOTHING! Let's look at the non-confs.
He was beat up by a couple of Ferengi in The Last Outpost.
He lost to GUINAN on the firing range. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! FERENGI?!
GUINAN?! You gotta beat those guys for me, baby! We're talkin' CUPCAKE CITY!

Meanwhile, Chewie is dominating all over. I LOVE THIS GUY!
He beats up everybody! He's ripping the arms off droids! He's
throwing people out of Scout Walkers with ONE HAND! He beats up
stormtroppers IN HANDCUFFS! If he wore clothes, he would be one of my
diaper dandies, BABY! DIPSY-DOO, DUNK-A-ROO! BLOWOUT CITY! Worf's headin'
for the basketball court in the sky!

NOTE: For the college basketball impaired, we offer this alternative
conmentary from 13-time WCW world champion, Ric Flair:

TO BE THE MAN, YOU GOTTA BEAT THE MAN! AND CHEWBACCA *IS* THE MAN!
*WHOOOOOOOOoooooooo!*

c/o Paul Golba

ROTW (TM) Silver Medal Winner (TM)

Chewbacca will win for a very simple reason. It is a matter of clear
record that when Wookies lose, they pull people's arms out of their
sockets. If Worf has lost his arms, he has clearly lost. Therefore, if
Chewbacca loses, he will win. If he wins, then obviously he has won.
Either way, Chewbacca wins.

- Jeffrey Kolb, Hamilton College

ROTW (TM) Bronze Medal Winner (TM)

Ah, Steve, Brian. You both forgot one VERY IMPORTANT factor...

[As Worf and Chewie circle each other, a flash of light bursts out]
Q: In a bit of trouble, Microbrain?
Worf: Q! I should've known you were responsible for this!
Q: Why, Microbrain, I'm hurt. Here I am, allowing you the chance to explore
those strange new worlds you're always blabbering about, giving you the
chance to do what you Klingons so love doing, bashing another living being's
brains out, and what thanks do I get? None.
Picard (from sidelines): Q, I demand you stop this nonsense at once!
Q: Not quite yet. I want to see the fight. (snaps fingers, and two men
appear on either side of him)
Steve: What the...?
Brian: This can't be!
Q: What cliched lines! Where are those snappy remarks and witty rejoinders
I so love? Come now, I brought you two here for color commentary and I'm
going to get it!
[Steve and Brian look at each other nervously and launch into the commentary
we've already heard.]
Steve: So... Q, who do you think will win?
Q: Oh, I don't know, that's so difficult. On one hand, Microbrain's
diminished capacity and horrid table manners is, I suppose, made up
for by a bit of physical strength. On the other hand, he put up with...
(snicker) Luxwanna Troi. Not to mention the fact that he can't hit a
Ferengi five feet away from him. He couldn't outshoot a BARTENDER, for
pity's sake! And soon, he'll be shuttled off to a space station, where
he'll be ordered around by living Jell-O. Pitiful, don't you think?
[Worf, enraged by Q's insults and Brian calling him a "sycophant", gets...
upset. Riker sees this.]
Riker: Worf! (grabs Troi and gives her a deep passionate kiss)
Worf: (enraged sounds that are vaguely recognizable as Klingon swear words
that would make Kahless faint. He has the RAGE (tm). In spades.)
[Worf immediately runs forward, grabs a surprised Chewie's head in his
hands, and crushes it to a pulp.]
Q: Ah, well, he really didn't DO much anyway, did he? No big loss.
[snaps fingers, and Steve, Brian, and the Enterprise crew all vanish. Q
looks down at Chewie's body.]
Q: I suppose I should revive you. (snaps fingers, and Chewie is as good
as new. Snaps again, and he and Han vanish.) Ah, well, back to business.
(snaps fingers, and he becomes the spitting image of Yoda.) So much fun
this is. Love gullible students, I do. Wonder do I when I should stop
little joke. Ohhh... Not for long time.
[Q vanishes, but for several minutes afterwards the chamber still echoes
with his laughter...]

Good points raised on both sides, and it's a pretty even matchup. Still,
there's one factor you've overlooked--ridicule.

Everyone knows all good fights involve some amount of namecalling,
alluding to sexual preferences, and so on. A well-made insult can be
just a damaging as a crescent kick to the face. (I'm pretty sure Lex
Luthor was making fun of Khan's chest implants all through that game of
Stratego, for example.)

Now, consider both combatants abilities in this area. Worf, aside from
having a large vocabulary of Klingon profanity, has got a lot to work with
here. The number of jokes you could tell about Chewie's mom and dogs
alone is startling.

Chewie, though, despite what I'm sure is a tremendous wit, can't relay
his biting insults, because he can only speak Wookie, which Worf wouldn't
know (since the Klingons don't watch Scooby-Doo). Of course, as luck would
have it, Federation Standard Language and the Official Non-Disgusting
Aliens Language of Star Wars are both exactly the same, and Chewie
understands it well enough (Han: Get down here! She's hurt! Chewie: Rgh
Ruuuuh! Han: Wait! Chewie: Rrorhkay!). More points for Worf, because
while Chewie is just growling to him, he's letting some real snappy
zingers fly.

Now, in this case, Chewie's lack of restraint is gonna hurt him. The
Wookie is so easily-pissed _anything_ will anger him. This means that
not only will Worf have the verbal advantage, he'll barely have to _use
it_. (Worf: I heard you had an idea, but it died of lonliness! Chewie:
Rrrrrrggggghhh! Worf: Oh, nice comeback! Chewie: Waaaaahhh!)

Taking all of this into account, I'd say Worf will have Chewie a
gibbering mass in about thirty minutes. Of course, I still don't know
why Jabba decided the "strongest on the Enterprise" is _Worf_, unless
R2-D2 kicked Data's ass the week before...

- Jim Smith

Chewbacca and Worf slowly circle each other, sizing each other up.
Meanwhile, Luke arrives, and using his Jedi powers, he gets past the guards
and walks toward Jabba's main hall.

Cut to the prison cell where the rest of the Trek crew are sitting.
Suddenly, Deanna Troi (Counselor Cleavage) is startled by a very strong,
very strange empathic presence, unlike any she has felt before. She calls
out empathically to this strange being (Luke). The silent conversation
goes something like this:

Troi: Who's that?
Luke: I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight.
Troi: My, what a big brain you must have.
Luke: You know it, babe. What's going on here?
Troi: The crew of the starship I arrived on is trapped here, and our chief
of security is being forced to fight a big hairy thing for our lives.
Luke: Don't worry babe, I've got everything under control. I'll save
everyone, and then maybe you and I can get together...
Troi: I thought you'd never ask.

Luke walks into the main hall, uses the force to whup Jabba's butt, and
saves everyone. Troi is overcome with desire for Luke, and they end up
spending a bunch of time together on the holodeck, if you know what I mean.
Chewbacca and Worf play a game of Holochess, which is still going on today.

- Russ Arcuri

Well, frankly, I found Steve's comments more well thought-out...

We've had people write in saying that aliens told them the result of the
Grudge Match. We've had people write write in saying that the results could be
fortold by "the nachos". But surely, this is the most insane person we've ever
had respond. -B

CHEWBACCA WINS! Why? Simple. Chewbacca is a creation of originality and
splendor while Worf is just a cop from Chips with a deep voice and some latex
gunk glued to his forehead. Chewbacca has to wear a big load a fur! Plus,
in recent Star Trek developments, it has been revealed that no other race
save for the Wookies has as much adeptness (adeptability...i dunno) for using
the FORCE (tm). Worf? First of all, he uses a little phaser. Aww...cute.
CHEWBACCA (I realize all caps is like screaming, but I must scream!
CHEWBACCA!) has that kick ass laser cross bolt!

Plus, I fall back to this old adage. How many of us have a Worf toy? A
few. How many of us have a Chewbacca toy? All of us.

Also, Chewbacca has a cooler voice. Let me illustrate:WOOOORRWEER!
(TRANSLATION:I'm kicking Worf's ass as we speak, thank you very much,
kind sir.) He hangs out with Han...the MAN. Worf hands out with
Jean-Luc. Ahem. (I need not say that Han would kick Jean-Luc's ass. I
mean, Han is twice the man of even Kirk! Now wouldn't that be a grudge
match? They could battle for the right to deflower some blue girl with
nine arms!)

- Marcadv

Chewbacca is a Wookie who hangs around in spacer bars, getting into
scraps with tough opponents, and occasionally bending people's
bodies into new and interesting shapes when they beat him at that
3-d chess thingy. Not only is he physically strong, he's smarter
than Worf, a Klingon who lives a solitary life as the only member of
his species in Starfleet and hangs around with wimpy humans. Sure,
he practices in the Holodeck, but it's not the same thing as going
up against a real opponent. Deep down, Worf knows there's no way
that the Holodeck would actually hurt him, since it's programmed not
to kill (not withstanding the times it goes crazy, usually once a
week) and so he's not used to fearing his opponents. And other
Klingons think he's a wimp. Chewbacca's gone up against the Death
Star. He fears no wrinkly-headed dork in a pair of pajamas.

Chewie is also a lot smarter than Worf, whose main battle strategy
seems to be to run towards the danger. Chewie put C-3PO together
with his BARE HANDS. That implies a lot of dexterity as well as
intelligence. Worf can barely manage the buttons on his console, and
his martial arts consist of that silly elbow chop thing. He's at a
disadvantage in experience, reach, strength, and fear.

Chewie will no doubt toy with Worf before disemboweling him like a
Tauntuan on a snowy night.

- Douglas Hanke, University of Iowa

Any one with any marshal arts sense know that a fight to the finish will not
go to the naked fighter. Worf is also motivated to save his true love
Counselor Cleavage. Worf in round 2

- Parental Unit #1

Worf? Worf? Wait, I think I know that guy. He's the weapons
officer on that ship that always gets its ass kicked when anything more
dangerous than an abandoned freighter lumbers into view. In hand-to-hand
combat? Hmmmm...

Oh yeah, I think I saw him fight a real-life enemy[TM] once or twice. He got beaten like a red-headed stepchild.
That's right, he's gotten thrown around by pretty-boy android Data
several times. On any occasion where the writers have stopped making
Geordi spew big made-up words and let the scene degenerate into
hand-to-hand combat, he almost always is the first one down. In fact, I
seem to recall him being devolved into a super-savage proto-Klingon once
and still getting pummeled by AARP spokesman and French weenie
Jean-Luc Picard. In fact, every time we see klingons on the show
they're getting their collective racial butt whooped by everyone from
sacrificial security officers to Julian Bashir, prototypical
arch-wimp.

Now, Chewbacca on the other hand. He's the one who drives the
burnt-out, obsolete space hulk that still singlehandedly outmanuevered
the entire Imperial fleet. He's been known to rip apart Storm Troopers
by the score. As I recall, the only person in the three movies who
singlehandedly took on a Wookie and won was Boba Fett (he wears
several scalps of 'em as a bold fashion statement). Folks, if you need
Boba Fett, the coolest being in the known universe, to take out one of
these specimens, then the race of extraterrestrial red-shirted ensigns
that are the Klingons don't stand a snowball's chance in hell. Looks
like Mr. Worf will be relegated to doing Romulan camioes with good ol'
Lt. Yar.

Okay, folks: a simple play-by-play of this fight will spell out the winner.

1) Chewie and Worf charge each other, a 'la a pair of sumo wrestlers, each one
howling a battle cry in their native tounge; the resulting cacophny of grunts
and growls can be heard as far as Mos Eisly.

2) They collide with a klang! They try to back away from each other, but find
their nifty metal sashes have linked together (much like metal braces in the
mouths of two lovers).

3) Worf, the shorter of the two, panics and begins to pummel at Chewie's sides.
Chewie, on the other hand, reaches down nonchalantly, digs in his claws, and
pops Worf's head from its shoulders.

The battle is over in less than a minute, and the victor (Chewie) is dropped
into the Rancor pit.

- Brian

The battle is close for a while, but then Worf suddenly remembers
it's time to perform another one of those strange Klingon ceremonies that
you hear about on every other Star Trek episode. We'll call this
one.....uh.....Du-Kanafra. That sounds cool.

Anyway, Worf is now performing Du-Kanafra, in order to prevent
eternal disgrace for his family's name. This involves bashing his head on
the wall, or in this case, sharp, jagged stone (this is a dungeon). His
head gets all bloody from the first hit to his head, and he faints.
Chewy, who has had quite a good laugh from all of this, simply walks up
to an unconscious Worf and tears his head off. Han Solo is released, and
Jabba has Picard stew that evening. It's very good.

- L. Wilkes

chewbacca kills worf, just to get him out of my life. he had every
central plot line in the last season of star trek: the next generation,
he's currently taking over deep space nine, and i'm still waiting for
michael dorn to guest star on voyager (they got jonathan frakes pretty
easily).

to put it simply, if chewbacca doesn't do it, i will.

- eugene

Now, we've all seen "Empire Strikes Back", and we know that Chewbacca
went beserk when he saw what was going to happen to his best friend. He
would have torn the whole Cloud City apart with his bare paws if Han
hadn't stopped him. Being a Trekkie of some magnitude, I'll have to say
it'll be a good fight. But considering the factors, all in all,
Chewbacca would eventually pick up Worf and break him over his knees.

Wookies are known for pulling arms out of sockets after all, and despite
the infamous strength of the Klingon race, Worf has been considerably
softened by the easy life. Even if weapons were allowed (I assume
they're not) Chewbacca would still win. What good is a phaser set on a
most-likely wimpy setting (going for the humane angle like a good
Starfleet officer) against a Wookie who has done greater deeds, and is
taller, and wields a crossbow?! Not to mention that Han is at stake, and
we know that Chewie is indebted to Han for life (however long that is).

- Colin Ryono

The walking carpet pile has this one hands-down. I grant you Worf is fierce
and all that. But he is a Klingon, which makes him relatively stupid. And
he's been among humans - which has raised his wuss factor at least a
hundred-fold. And these aren't just humans - but humans on a PEACEFUL
mission; to go and convert the unwashed heathen into drones of the
Federation. Chewie is an outlaw; the Millenium Falcon his "hog". He and Han
are doing their "Wild Ones" routine throughout the galaxy; robbing, running
blockades; enjoying wild women - generally kicking ass and not bothering to
take the names. In other words, his skills are well-honed. Besides, he's
bigger; he's stronger; he's better motivated -and he's backed by LucasFilms,
Ltd. (tm). Chewie in five minutes will make Worf look like a Cardassian's
backside. Afterwards, Jabba can enjoy Troi's "charms" and Picard and Number
1 will stand alongside him, waving fans and plotting their escapes - Han and
Chewie will take the Enterprise out into space, humiliate what's left of the
Empire, drill Leila until she can't stand up, and generally have a good old
time - at Warp 9.

- Pizen

Geez, guys- this is an easy one. The crew of the Enterprise beams
down to the planet. As Dr. Crusher and Cheerleader Troi are being
measured and fitted for their slave-girl uniforms, Worf will be cursing
his own dishonor at allowing himself and his crewmen to be captured.
He'll have no backup; and here's why:

Aside from the aforementioned Troi and Crusher dance antics, the rest
of the crew will have already been assigned tasks by the Hutt. Riker,
he's sliding that old trombone of his with Max Rebo and the band,
while Data's serving drinks on the sail barge with a restraining bolt
stuck on his forehead. Geordi's dead already- he made some comment about
the metallurgy of Boba Fett's helmet and got shot through the visor.
Captain Picard, cool headed and rational; realizes he'd make an excellent
snobbish Imperial officer and is allowed to leave. Who doth remain to
back the Klingon? Nobody. Maybe Data's cat spot- that's about it.

So we now have Worf, all alone save for the cat, moaning and wailing,
preparing himself for ritual suicide or some other clever warrior-esque
convention. Chewbacca, all 60 pounds of him (the rest is fur) will wax
the floor of the Rancor pit with Worf's bony head. By the time Worf snaps
out of his malaise (in noticing to the shapely fit of Troi's costume), a
plurality of his limbs will be lying around the room.

Picture, if you will, this huge walking carpet laughing it up whilst
checking out his new sash in the mirror. Chewie, from the start, knew
he had this one locked up. It's not wise to upset a Wookie, regardless of
how deep your voice is. (Oh yeah- you don't think that cat got away, do
you? Jabba has a thing for post-fight snacks:-)

"In the end, there can be only Wookie"

- Tengu:<>

Personally, I believe that Chewbacca would wipe the floor with Worf.
Why I beleive this is a little hard to qualify, but I believe it has
something to do with believability. I find Star Wars a much more
believeable concept than Star Trek because Star Wars doesn't pretend
to have solved all of humanity's problems in a mere 250 yrs, the aliens
were not all "seeded" from some progenitor race, Princess Leia in the second
half of the third movie (Rrroooww). The list goes on. But you asked for
comments on why the Chew-miester would make Klingon soup out of Worf...well,
it comes down to personality. As stated earlier, Chewbaccca is fighting
for Han's life; this is VERY important as the Chewinator owes Han a Life
Debt, and would literally die for Han whereas Worf only has a tragically
misplaced sense of duty to the Federation to fall back on. True, Worf will
fight like wet weasel, but Chewie will fight like wet, rabid daschund that
was recently castrated and looking for payback. Pity about Picard and Co.,
but if it wasn't for them, Babylon 5 would not be constantly ragged on for
copying Trek (sorry, it just slipped out).

- Frederick L. Swetland, IV

swetlfr@yang.earlham.edu
Chewy wil crush worf, not because he is supremely bad, but
because Worf NEVER wins ANY fights. Worf is just like Tonto
in the old Lone Ranger, sent in to get his ass kicked so that
someone else more important can save theday...

- Timothy Ritty, Washington University

Worf in a second.

The reason why is obscenely simple; KLINGONS HAVE THE BETTER NAME. Yes,
the "Klingon" warriors, with cool Star-Trekkie weapons like the "Bat'leth"
and stuff, will trounce the "Wookie." My god, Wookie...it rhymes with
"cookie." Jeez.

- Michael Farahbakhshian

Simply put, Lt. Worf has a lot more discipline than the wookie. While
Chewbacca may have the sheer brutality required to win a fight, Worf
will simply wait for the perfect moment to strike and then rip the
Wookie's heart out. Chewbacca will then cry out in pain to his friends
who will not come, because Jabba the Hut has already executed them
because he knew Chewie was in a hopeless battle in the first place...

- Mangler

First off, The prime directive is not at issue here, since the
species involved are already in contact with alien life forms, and posses
interstellar travel. (Legalistic Geek clarification.)

While the feirce hand to hand battle rages, Worf using his superior
skill to offset the greater reach and physical strenth of the Wookie, a
stalemate is reached for a time.

What will be the deciding factor? The onlookers, of course, the
Humour factor is the key, the thing you have both overlooked is that the
Star Wars movies were made with a greater sense of humour than the
annoyingly pretentious Star Trek series. At the Crucial moment, when a tired
Chewbacca has stumbled and the heartless Klingon is poised to strike the
killing blow, hovering over the battered and bloodied Wookie, Princess leia
will quickly open her shirt, revealing herself to Worf, who as a humaniod
will be temporarily distracted, Chewbacca will then rip of his arm and beat
him to death with it, messily ending Worfs' illustrious career.

(Or is that the Babe Factor(TM)?)

- Don.

Worf will not be able to believe that he is
allowed to settle this conflict through force. Every time Worf suggests
that something be resolved through violence Picard overrules him, opting
to send a probe or getting Troy to sense their intentions or just general
prime directive can't be doing that reasoning. So, when Worf is told to
fight it out he will just stand there in slack jawed amazement unable to
comprehend what is happening.

"You mean I get to hit him... But we didn't send a probe... I can really
hit him... Troy doesn't get to do the pseudo mind reading gig... I can
actually hit him... What about the Prime Directive and all those starfleet
regulations... Your serious, we are going to settle this through violence,
I get to hit him..."

At which point it is too late as it is settled through violence, namely
Chewie knocking Worf's head off with one blow.

- Allan

Everything is just peachy with Chewie and Worf exchanging blows until Q
shows up and insults Jabba, Worf, Chewie, and Bobba Fett simultaneously.
Chaos reigns for five minutes as Q ponders which party to support and
Jabba's minions attempt to capture him ineffectually. Just as Q is about
to decide, the Borg assault the Q continuum and he informs both parties
that he must withdraw. What follows surprises everybody, as all sides
campaign for him to stay and take their side. Chewie's minions promise to
capture the Death Star and blow the Borg into tiny pieces, Jabba's party
says he could be the tenth most despicable person in the organization, and
the Starfleet end says that they've done it before and can volunteer
somebody to be Borged to learn their secrets. Q is intrigued only by
Jabba's offer, and decides to become a criminal in more than theory. He
further decides to replace the rancor, sarlacc, and various other creatures
as the organization warrants. Jabba, pleased, chuckles and kills both
contestants so that Q can imitate them for a much better battle.

- King

This is a tough match-up, because both guys are very tough, very
skilled, and I'm sure that a battle between them would be longer and
fiercer than that Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Superfly Snuka match back in
'83. I don't think that the outcome can be readily determined by simply
matching up size and strength.

So let's look at it from this perspective: Chewbacca and Worf are both
major players in their respective sci-fi franchises. Neither franchise
has experienced a particularly high mortality rate among their stars:

STAR WARS
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Killed by Vader, but didn't really die in spirit, as
demonstrated by visits in later films.
Anakin Skywalker and Yoda: Same as above.
Biggs: Blown out of the Sky by Vader in Star Wars.

That's all I can think of, so basically one dead, and he was only kind
of a major player.

STAR TREK
Tasha Yar: Killed by a big black blob.
Spock: Killed in Star Trek II, but brought back to life in III, so he
doesn't really count.
Kirk: Killed in VII by Soran.

So going by this information, we have to ask, which franchise is more
willing to give up one of their big stars? A pretty obvious solution -
Star Trek is willing to wax One HUGE star (Kirk) and one minor star
(Yar) while Star Wars hesitantly surrenders only one very minor star
(Biggs).

Using this data, I would have to go with Chewbacca, scoring a late
tenth-round TKO.

- Jeff W.

To Brian and whomever else it may concern:

We, the Wookie high council, are very angered at your flippant
alteration of our race's name. We are a proud and noble people, and
refering to any Wookie as "the wookster" is exceedingly insulting. Clan
Chewbac has insisted that you be tortured to death in accordance with
our laws. We will offer you a choice: fight Chewbacca in a Duel To The
Pain to restore his wounded honor, or turn yourself over for execution.
Expect a visit from our honor guard very soon.

- The Wookie High Council

My sincerest apologies to insulting you and all other Wooksters. In my
attempt to relay that Wook-a-ramas were far superior to Klingons, I
inadvertently called them such things as Wookereenies. BTW, is the phrase
Wook-a-lam-a-ding-dong acceptable? (If I'm going out, I'm going out in
style) -B

P.S. You misspelled "Wookiee" just like we did. - Eds.

It's a long drawn-out battle to be sure but in the end it's gotta go to
to Worf, folks. Don't get me wrong, I like Chewie as much as the next
guy but the Klingon Kid (tm) has three important advantages.

1) An opponent literally covered with hair. Yes, it looks cool as all
get out, but if there's one thing I know about hand to hand combat it's
that lots of hair spells doom. Grab it, it hurts. Muss it up, you
can't see to fight. Run around with no clothes because you think your
hair provides adequate coverage, your opponent has a clear shot at the
Family Jewels. Of course Chewie might be prepared for these problems,
but Worf doesn't have to deal with them _at all_.

2) Biological redundancy. As pointed out in the TNG episode where Worf
gets his back broken and surgically replced, Klingons have several
"back-up" organs in case others fail to work. This means that if you
give Worf a kidney punch, he'll be relatively all right. The same goes
for several other organs including the brain. Translation: Worf can
take more punishment.

3) Foreign objects. Yeah, it's dishonorable, but for the sake of his
crewmates and when push comes to shove, Worf may start brandishing one
of them nifty Klingon knives. Heck, maybe Chewbacca'll draw one from
his sash first... if he has one there. See, Klingons conceal as many
weapons as possible on their persons, and while Worf has a tighter
uniform than the standrd Klingon fare, he's bound to have knives
anywhere he can fit one. Now maybe there's a similar custom for Wookies
but hey-- _he's not wearing any clothes_. Well, there's the sash, but
Worf's got one of his own. Sorry, Han, but in this case pockets are
gonna make the difference.

- Mike Smith - figures Star Wars fans can take satisfaction in knowing the
Far Far Away Galaxy has better weaponry than the Milky Way of 2371.

It was a tough decision, but I've decided that the characters in syndication
have to come out on top. If Worf lost, that would create a problem for the
future Star Trek: TNG movies and the current DS9 series. If Chewie lost,
sure, Hans would die...but he'd live forever as we remembered him in the Star
Wars Trilogy or the Indiana Jones Trilogy or the latest Tom Clancy flick.
When's the last time you saw Star Wars action figures in the store vs. all
the current Star Trek paraphenalia? Besides, WORF IS A MINORITY. Sure,
Chewie doesn't look Caucasian either, but this is Black History Month!
After the bout, Chewie could guest star on (Roseanne's) New Hollywood
Squares as all washed up stars past their prime have done in the past or
start some infomercials for his hair care products.

Now if John Candy's Mawg from the Mel Brook's movie "Spaceballs" were
participating in the fight, we'd know he would win, but only after injecting
some sophomoric humor into the entire battle. Something like "Chewie, your
shoe is untied..." and of course, Chewie, not even wearing shoes, would bend
over to tie his shoe...and BLAM, right over the head with some heavy item,
probably a serving tray from one of Jabba's appetizers, Daphne Zuniga's hair
dryer, or C3POs leg.

- LisMookie

I have to go with the Wookie on this one for one major reason. Odor.
Think about it. Chewbacca is covered with hair. He must sweat rivers,
and I don't remember seeing any Speed Stick (tm) in the trilogy. Han Solo
must make him bathe constantly so he can handle the stench. I doubt
Jabba's cells have such amenities as showers. If Worf isn't knocked flat
by the smell instantly, he'll be stunned long enough for Chewie to lay in
on him with his big ol' meathooks. Chewbacca in anywhere from 0.1 to 5.0
seconds.

- cnixon

In a match between Chewie and Worf, there can be only one loser...Jabba.
First, I agree that Chewie will be a fighting furball of rage in this
match and come out swinging with full Wookie fury. Worf will assume a
cool-looking Klingon martial-arts stance and begin circling Chewie. A
few swipes and jabs later, Chewie will connect with what seems to be a
roundhouse punch and put Worf down for the count. Jabba will let out a
gurgly laugh, tell the guards to remove Worf's body and give it to the
Rancor, while refusing to let Han go (he doesn't want to give up "his
favorite decoration", remember?) Suddenly, phaser/blaster fire will
flash everywhere as the command crew of the Enterprise joined with Luke,
Leia, and Londo Calrissian (armed with a blaster and Colt45 malt liquor)
storm Jabba's audience chamber. (1. Luke and Leia used the Force to
escape. 2. The command crew of the Enterprise had LaForge connect his
visor to the holding cells' light source and the slimy water in the pit-
causing a fluctuation in the particle field of the week and somehow
allowing them to escape.) Anyway, Worf, who was only playing dead, jumps
up, uses his weapon to kill the guards dragging him off while Chewie
gets the honor of giving Jabba the Big Hurt.

End Result- Evil Smugglers/Bounty Hunters dead/fled, 2 security officers
dead (hey, the Bounty Hunters aren't Stormtroopers- they hit
occasionally). Also, Jabba's little pet and Wesley Crusher end up
strangling each other to death (I'm assuming this is how the Star Trek
guys ended up in the Star Wars universe in the first place- Wes "Son of
Sam" Crusher is taking a break from Traveler school and decided to twist
time n' reality when drunk.)

After hearing of Wesley's death, cast and crew of ST and SW teams meet
in the Mos Eisley cantina to get stinking party drunk on the finest
booze available on Tatoonie. Yahoo(tm)!

- Rob Kazmierczak

Why Chewbacca will win:

1)Worf trains all the red shirts. Red shirts always die. Worf must not be
training them well. Worf must not be a good fighter, or they would be better
trained.

2)Worf's uniform has a much higher wedgie potential than Chewie's stylish
silver bandolier. This weakness may prove to be the downfall of Worf,
especially if Chewie is trained in the dreaded Wookie 'butt clamp' manouever.

3)Second knock against Worf's uniform - its snug fit will restrict his ability
to perform Fighter Hayabusa's fearsome Back Brain Kick, while Chewbacca is
under no such restraint. This was the coolest move in Nintendo's Championship
Wrestling, and will be equally useful in this melee.

4)The unknown 'x-factor' which may play an unforseen role in this fight is the
funky ridge thingy on Worf's forehead. It is an enigma that bears further
investigation that is far beyond my own capabilities.

Woo, this was a tough call. My initial reaction was to got for
Chewbacca, based on the simple premise that Worf is routinely beat up on
TNG just to show us how darned tough the Bad Guy du Jour really is. Upon
further reflection, however, it becomes apparent that Worf is going to
take this match, and for one simple reason: Chewbacca is rather stupid.

Oh sure, he's got the brawn, and maybe even the desire to win, but this
is the being who couldn't figure out the old "let's pretend Chewie's our
prisoner" routine, and who actually went for the bait left out by Ewoks.
EWOKS. Worf, on the other hand, has proved be pretty darned cunning in
the past, and has shown a remarkably proficiency in hand to hand
fighting, whereas Chewbacca has never actually been seen killing anyone
(he just seems to kind of push them over). Han's threat that Wookies
"tend to pull people's arms out of their sockets" was likely just a bluff
(the guy's a pirate and a smuggler ... he gets to lie every so often;
it's in his union handbook). Plus Worf has all those swell redundant
systems built in (plus a shiny new spine).

No, I'm afraid that while Chewbacca was puzzling over which end of the
stick was the Good End and which was the Bad End, Worf, resplendant in
his Ewok-fur slippers, would glide up silently behind him and snap his
neck like a twig. Then he'd show the Jedi a few new tricks they could do
with a sword.

- Murray

lets look at it logically,.,,shall we? what is worf? Hes the security
chief oif the flagship of the federation.Is he any good? The answer is a
resounding NO.He has let captain picard get kidnapped a few times.Let
innumerable security breaches take place.He also cant shoot for his
life..he cant even hit from point blank range.I think the only reason he
is in the federation is because of affirmative action.

- hecubus

Hairball vs. Butt-ugly? I expected more of you guys...maybe
a wrestling match between Leia and the good doctor...but here's my
analysis. It doesn't matter who wins this fictional fight - what
matters are which fans are more fanatical. Both Star Trek and Star Wars
fans are a exclusive member of the "get a life" club. You guys will
get deluged with analyses from these losers (admittedly, I am one of
them), and what I suggest is that you guys set up a field day somewhere
where the Trekkies and Wars' fans can duke it out, mano-a-mano. Now
thats' something I'd pay to see!

- f(x)b44m

Based on my extensive childhood investigations into the fighting ability of
various action figures I would have to go with Kenner's classic stiff-legged,
jointless, no-necked Chewbacca over the current Lt. Whorf action figure.
Though I have not seen the Lt. Whorf action figure I feel safe in saying
that Chewbacca could take him on the grounds that today's action figures all
suck in comparison to the stuff I had as a kid.

- ElPicaro

I'm sure you've been told this a million times, but you misspelled Wookiee.
Here we thought you were just as geekiee as the rest of us.

O.K., you caught us. We're not as geekiee (sic) as you -Eds.

I think
that there are ideological factors operating: racism vs. environmentalism.
Whorf is O.J. Simpson with a lumpy forehead. Chewy is all of the endangered
animals of the world. If you could have a pre-jury decision vote vs. a
post-jury decision vote, or if you could separate Black from non-Black
voters, or identify racists vs eco-fascists, then you would find some voting
patterns.

- frudmin

What neither of you seems to have taken into account is that,
while Chewbacca has decapitateded more than his share of
Stormtroopers (and Ewocks[TM] when Jim Henson[TM] wasn't
looking) without Han all he really is is a large maladjusted
semi-retarded furry child who can't do anything for himself and
throws violent tantrums when he doesn't get his way.(observe
the holochess incident with C-3PO in episode IV) While these
tantrums always led to bloodeshed in the past, without Han
Chewy is reduced to curling up in the corner of the pit sucking
his furry thumb and bellowing "UUUNNNNNNNGGGHHH!!" at the top
of his lungs.

Worf, vastly overrated as a warrior (the schmuck never killed
anything) once again proves himself to be a kinder gentler
Klingon and puts his arm around Chewy and tells him that it'll
all be allright and they'll find a way out of this where
everybody wins,and the Prime Directive is preserved, just like
every Star[TM] Trek[TM] ending. Chewbacca, already forgetting
Han, the stupid Wookie, puts his head on Worf's shoulder and
has a good cry. Picard smiles with satisfaction, Troi weeps
and says she senses "Great feelings of Love!" Data is unable to
say anything as he has been scrapped for parts by Jawas[TM] and
sold for the next WWWF [TM] Gudge Match, Data v. R2-D2. Jabba,
sick of this crap, orders the Rancor[TM] released. The great
beast from Episode VI stomps in and masticates the pair, who have
since started trading memories about their childhoods, with a
gut-wrenching **CRUNCH[TM]** Allmighty Jabba chortles evilly
and orders the crew of the Enterprise cast into the Sarlacc pit
and Carbonite frozen Solo broken up into individual cubes for
the cocktails. As princess Leia dances in front of him, Jabba
reliezes that STAR WARS[TM] will always lord over Star Trek[TM]
and has a good laugh.

"Remember, Evil will always triumph over Good because Good is
dumb"

- Gecko9

I'd say Chewbacca wins, and you know why?

Chewbacca doesn't have a wuss-boy Norelco-Razor-no-it's-a-phaser-really
to fall back on. When his bowcaster runs out of shots, he *has* to go
hand-to-hand and rip the stormtrooper out of that armor, and bite his
head off!

- Michael J. Suzio

While Picard is pontificating and Geordi's spewing more BS techie talk than a
Macintosh salesman, Solo, Leia and Billy Dee Williams[TM] are gonna rig
the fight. Solo sneaks a blaster in, while Leia uses her good looks to
distract the guards. Billy, using his new connections on the Psychic
Friends Network, will predict anything that might go wrong and compensate for
it, creating enough space-time annomolies to give ST-Voyager a year of
bad plotlines.

Final Analyssis: Worf is Wookie food.

- Billy Jo JimBob C. Riley Jr.

Certainly, Worf is one of those well-honed, machine-like creations that at
first seem unstoppable,
but I think that a cursorary look at most space fights shows that
the bad guy invariably has all kinds of "scientific" training (i.e
Dolph Lundgren and the chrome work-out Equip in Rocky) but its always
the scruffy homegrown training (Rocky lifting small peasants) that
win out in the end. Added to that, chew has so much hair figuring
out where to punch is going to be a nightmare for Worf.

- Nick

Chewbaca has the clear advantage simply because he has the homefield
advantage. Chewy enjoys far more fans than Worf. Think about it: was
Worf digitally remasted in THX, released, then released AGAIN in the
widescreen format? NO! Plus, Harrison Ford is a much better looking
screen-mate than Jean-Luc "chrome dome" Picard. Further, let's look at
the backers. The Wookie has Oscar-winning George Lucas on his side -
the Klingon has Gene Roddenbery (Roddenbery, schmoddenbery). Any man
who would willingly cast William Shatner for the lead is a born loser.
Chewbacca is the undesputed champion of the universe.

- Drew "Leadpants" Hubbard

Worf wins solely for the long term interests of every computer nerd who
regularly accesses the WWWF (as well as the gazillion chat groups delving into
the oh-so interesting comparisons and merits of Star Trek (versions 0 and 1),
Star Wars, etc...).

A brief check of the WWWF history shows that the Enterprise has been destroyed
by the Death Star. This should forevermore banish anyone from the Star Trek
(version 0) crew from ever doing battle on pages of the WWWF. As a side note, I
mention that the red shirted ensigns were kicked around by the storm troopers
just for good measure. The fact that the Enterprise was destroyed implies that
the red shirted weenies can never again rear their pointy heads in the WWWF.

This gets us quickly to the crux of the issue. If Worf is defeated, Jabba will
make a meal of the Star Trek (version 1) crew. This would be the end of Star
Trek on the pages of the WWWF. We would only be left with the Star Wars cast
of characters, modulo Darth Vader. This cannot be! We can't confine our
imagination to the Empire vs the Rebel Alliance scenarios. Besides, we all
know a good internet site must beat the dead Star Trek horse with a vengeance.

All who voted for Chewbacca are belatedly regretting the choice.

- Dr. Joe

As the contestants enter the Rancor Pit, one is thinking "I only have to
incapacitate him to win. If I kill him, that would be a big Prime
Directive no-no.", while the other is thinking, "If the pansy in yellow
dies, Han lives. Thus, the pansy in yellow dies... right now!" Worf is
still trying to size his opponent up when Chewbacca charges. Worf, who
is practically against the wall of the pit, ducks and rolls from the
attack. He manages to grab a furry left leg as he does so, however, and
thus sends Chewie slamming into the wall hard enough to almost daze him
for a second. Worf was a shade slow, however, and gets a nasty gash on
his shoulder from a stray claw.

This is when Worf decides that it's time to forget all the Federation
rules, and take out this PetaQ jay' (I could translate, but this is a
PG-rated site) like a Klingon. He reaches for one of the 14 concealed
weapons on his person*, a small blade worn like a brass knuckle, and
waits for the Wookie to make his move.

Now we have a more even match. Worf is at full readiness, and will use
his superior training to satisfy his lust for real blood that has been
so repressed all this time. Chewie still has the edge in sheer size and
power, however, and gives his opponent a thourough workout. There are 2
ways the match can turn out from here:

2) Worf seems to be losing when Data, deciding that leaving the
Enterprise in orbit without a command crew (and thus ripe for capture)
would be a worse violation of the Prime Directive than killing some
overgrown furball, busts his way out of his cell (which is just down the
hall from the Rancor Pit and within easy earshot of the fight) to help
Worf. Chewbacca dies within a minute, but Worf, who is really ticked off
because he had his honor compromised by Datas intervention, proceeds to
rip the androids head off while Data has his back turned.

Either way, Worf wins.

- Brian Blovett

*If you don't think that Worf would have 14 concealed weapons on
him, I remember reading a TNG novel (I think it was "Strike Zone", but
I'm really not sure) in which some Klingons come aboard, and their
leader tells Picard that each of his men have at least 11 concealed
weapons on them. Picard then immediately asks Worf, "Leiutenant, do you
have 11 concealed weapons on you?" Worf replies "Most certainly not,
sir.", and Picard is relieved for a moment before he asks, "Umm... How
many concealed weapons do you have on you?", to which Worf
replies "Fourteen."

Chewbacca wins, and there won't be a sequel. [One] reason Chewbacca will
win is the fact that he has his own themesong, as heard on the "Clerks"
soundtrack. Many have witnessed the awesome foreshadowing power of
the themesong, with the soon-to-be winner of any movie conflict always
carrying the best one (see "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka!"). Worf has no
themesong of his own, and thus is foreshadowed to lose by default.
The most important point is the Figurine Factor(tm), better
known as The Force(tm)! Yes, it is true, what Star Wars characters
and fans call The Force is actually the collective cosmic energy
released by all the plastic likenesses of movie and television
characters. The more figurines that exist of any given character, the
more that The Force will be on their side. I am fully prepared to
offer proof of this astounding fact, using the example at hand, Star
Wars. Everyone knows that the good guys won in the Star Wars movies,
but how many know why? It couldn't have been their own hard work and
good luck, because the Empire certainly had the military capability to
crush even the best luck and hardest work of such a small band of
rebels(tm). But how many Luke Skywalker and friends figures were sold
compared to Darth Vader and his evil cohorts? I don't have the exact
numbers, but suffice to say that many more "good guys" were sold than
"bad guys". This provided The Force for the rebels to prevail. As
further evidence, I turn to the yet to be released episode of the Star
Wars movies, and the recent proliferation of Star Wars figures. The
makers of the Star Wars movies knew that a sufficient amount of The
Force would be required to write, film, and release a new Star Wars
movie. They also knew that as time went on, many Star Wars figures
had been destroyed or thrown away, and The Force had dwindled
accordingly. This is why they have rereleased the figures - in order
to build up enough Force to make the new movie. Cheap marketing ploy
to sell even more Star Wars merchandise? I think not. Sly ploy to
bring The Force back and make a new movie? Yes! Back to the point,
Worf is walking into this battle having no idea that his fate has
already been decided by the Figurine Factor, er, The Force. Worf's
puny figurine sales will create but a tiny "force" in his favor, and
so Chewy's Force (with a capital F!) has already predicted the winner
of this battle. Chewy will Crush Worf (with a captial C). If the
rest of the Star Trek: The Next Generation crew is lucky, Jabba will
be merciful and only send them to the Rankor, or that underground sand
worm thing, rather than send them to Chewy...

-Chris Foster/Sherry Womack

In most definately Chewie is gonna kick klingon ass!!! For one
Worf is an outcast of his people so he cant be as bad as his
people. Chewie will see what looks like a hairless Ewok and
decide that he should end this poor animals suffering. So as
Worf shows respect by bowing to his opponent chewie figures this
stupid creature is begging to be put out of his misery. So he
rears back exposes his giant claws and in one swipe he lops off
the head of poor worf. Then he celebrates by doing his wookie
growl and walks off with Han. Then the crew of the Enterprise
beam down a bunch of red shirts and they all end up being blown
up into pieces. In all the confusion the big guns of the
Enterprise figure out a way to cross a phaser and a
telecomunicator and the metal sash of warf to beam them back onto
the Enterprise...then they fly back before warf died and keep
there other selves from going to the planet and worf never dies
and then the Enterprise gets blown up by a planet destorying
laser that the drunk captian of the Death Star fired in the wrong
direction.

the end.....or is it???

- Conrad Campbell

You guys forgot one important factor, RAGE, just like previous matches
the wookies rage puts him over the top. Think about it when was the
last time you remember Chewie gettin' any Wookie Nookie(tm). Worf has
been with Lt. Troy for what 3 years now, yea, yea loyalty to the crew,
blah, blah, blah.... the Wokkie wins it in 10 seconds one swipe of his
hairy paw and off comes Worf's head.

- E

I have to vote for Chewie not because he's a better fighter but because of
basic odds. How many things or persons (or maybe sophonts is the right word)
has Worf EVER beat up? There was even the nanny of that little princess
girlie who fell in love with Pansy-boy Wesley. SHE beat up a terrible
Klingon! (Okay, so the nanny had morphed into a big hairy thing with teeth,
but ALL nannies do that!) It would take one hand and an IQ the same number as
Wesley's chances of getting laid to count the number beings Worf has
whupped-up on.

On the other hand almost everytime Chewie has picked up a blaster, or beer
bottle or balled a fist or even snarled something mean, someone has died.
Unless, if Pansy-boy starts feeling sorry for his poor freind Worf for
getting him beat up that one time... maybe he could figure out how to
remodulate the main deflector shield of the Enterprise to produce the
'Wookie-Be-Gone' tone that the Stormtroopers were tourturing Chewie with
after Lando turned them over to Darth.... Hmmmm.... I might have to re-cast
my vote. (Is that a new record for run-on sentences?)

- Lee Allison

Worf in 2.3 seconds.

Where should I begin.?..OK, lets recall any instance
where Chewbacca was engaged in hand to hand combat with anything.

Example 1. The Trash Monster:
A worthy opponent such as the Trash Monster, Chewbacca starts
crying at the door. What would Worf do about the Trash Monster?
He would likely eat it live because of its similarity to the
Klingon delicacy "Gahh".

Example 2. The Ewoks:
Chewbacca was actually captured by a bunch of snuggle(tm) bears. If
Worf were on the forest moon of Endor, he would immediatly domesticate
the Ewoks to be used as a food source for the Klingon Home world.
Ewoks would be bred and slaughtered...

Example 3. Lando:
Chewbacca applied his best death grip on Lando for a full 20 seconds
before the Princess pryed him away, yet Lando is alive to play a
significant role in the following movie. If Worf attacks Lando,
he's history.

[Plus,] if Han has not kept Chewbacca properly groomed, then he
will be completely useless in the fight. In fact, I suspect due to his
captivity by Jabba, he has not been curry combed for quite some time.
Chewbacca will be as blind as a sheep dog.

The only thing that might save Chewie, is that there is no honor in
killing a giant teddy bear, especially one that is crying at the door.
However, if Worf decides that Troi would fancy a warm fur coat, Chewie
is history...

- David Mihelcic

If Chewie couldn't get past those pig-like creatures in JEDI, how the hell is
he supposed to kill Worf. If anybody can kill Worf or even contend w/him, it
gotta be BILLY DEE ! I mean Billy got his own malt liquor and he can control
any woman (refer to Diana Ross in Lady Sings the Blues, not to his recent
arrest on the charge of wife beating). First Billy would spray Afro-schene in
Worf's eye and then he would brake a bottle of COLT-45 and slice Worf's
Klingon throat.

Billy Dee would then proceed to Councelor Troi and they both would strut into
the sunset and Billy Dee would mutter "Colt-45, works everytime." with Fab
Five Freddy grinning to the left of him.

- Tim Getschow

Quite elementary, actually. "Chewbaca" sounds like a creature ready for
some serious eating, while "Worf" sounds like a dessert topping. Chewie
will be chewing on whipped Worf in two time units.

- Steven R. Van Hook

Worf is a disciplined
martial artist while Chewie fights in the Butterbean style, all power and
a one punch KO. No contest, Chewbacca all the way!!!!!!

- charlie

Chewbacca would destroy Worf in any battle. First of all, let's
compare their battle cries. I'm afraid that the Klignon Battle Cry
pales in comparison to the Wookie Wail. The Klignon Battle
Cry sounds like a hungry baby crying for food. The Wookie Wail
however, makes your blood run cold. There is nothing in this
world that it can be compared to. Secondly, let's compare their
lifestyles. Worf works (more like lounges) on a luxury star ship, and
if he ever has a problem, he just turns to Counsellor Troy. Chewie,
on the other hand, works on a battered (yet still awesome) ship which
has no carpeting, and no counsellors to help him through the low
points in his life. Worf has learned to rely on others for his
well-being, but Chewie realizes that most of the time, he has to fend
for himself. Worf's pampered existence on the Enterprise has
made him soft, while Chewie's hard experience on the Falcon has
strengthened him both physically and mentally. Finally, if Chewie
wants to do something, he does it. He doesn't have to ask Captain
Solo if it would be okay if he went to the bathroom. He goes, and God
help whoever gets in his way. Worf, however, has to ask Captain
Picard before he can even think. It is my opinion that this match
would be relatively short. Worf would begin with his Klignon Battle
Cry, and when Chewbacca stopped laughing, he would reply with his
Wookie Wail. At this point, Worf would request Captain Picard's
permission to go to the bathroom, and have his request denied. Then,
a dark stain would slowly spread on the front of Worf's uniform.
Next, Chewie would pounce on Worf and rip open his chest, spilling his
Klignon entrails onto the ground (assuming Klignon's have entrails).

- Potato Ears (tm)

I gotta go with the Wookie in this one guys. Worf's got the
training, Worf's got the brow ridge, and Worf's got the
strength. But there's one more thing Worf's got, and that's
angst. This guy acts like a wussy most of the time. Aside
from his Righteous Anger (tm), I always expected to see him
cry like a little girl in virtually every episode where they
met some _real_ Klingons. Hell, he didn't even put the moves
on the hot Duras sisters. Maybe if this was a fight between
Chewie and one of the real Klingons (Kahless, even Kurn) then
I would vote differently.

Worf had to go on _Deep Space Nine_ because he couldn't get another
job. Chewbacca is probably living in the lap of furry luxury in a
palatial mansion somewhere, surrounded by hairy chicks in
bikinis, and has Alf as a butler or something.

Chewie didn't learn galactic. The reasonable man adapts to the world
around him. the unreasonable man expects the world to adapt to
him."* Whereas Worf always tries to conform to Starfleet
regulations, and generally be a sissy. Chewbacca is more of the
Kirk "Fuck the Prime Directive" School of Philosophy. Chewie's
like Shaft, except bigger and hairier. And better teeth.

Chewie don't care about his family honor. He cares about cracking
skulls. Worf always tries to be a good father-figure to his son
Alexander. I'm sure Chewie's got kids on lots of planets, and he'd
deny everyone one. Worf is like a whiney accountant. Chewie is
an intergalactic pimp. Anyways.

- Jack Dracula, Univeristy of Maryland

* - From _Pump Up The Volume." Had this contest been Chewbacca
vs. Christian Slater**, I'd at least have to think twice about
it.

** - Did I mention both Worf and Christian SLater were in
Star Trek 6? Coincidence?

Gentlemen, you have forgotten something horribly important in your
wagering: holes in the space-time continuum, such as that which let the
Enterprise-D visit Tatooine, *ALWAYS EXPAND*. It is completely impossible
for them *not* to do so. Come on. When was the last time a hole in space
stayed perfectly still? Nah. They *grow*.

Furthermore, when a hole in space-time grows, *MORE* realities
gain access to it. (Remember that episode of TNG where there were, like, a
million Enterprises? My point exactly.)

So, the fight will be complicated by these factors. It goes like
this:

As Chewbacca slams Worf upside the head, the Klingon goes flying
into a very-surprised looking Lieutenant Apollo, having just entered the
bar after the BattleStar Galactica entered orbit around Tatooine. Apollo,
obviously confused, shoots wildly, and is stunned by Data. (Troi manages
to get out "I'm sensing...hostility.") Daggit, being the cheap special
effect that he is, communicates this info back to the Galactica. The
Galactica opens fire on the Enterprise. (Naturally, this being the Star
Trek ship, some of the consoles explode. Maybe the Enterprise-E won't be
built with those consoles that have the ship's store of dynamite just
below, huh?)

Meanwhile, Worf, now enraged, pulls out his curvy-Klingon-battle-thingy
and slashes madly at Chewie, who leaps aside only to knock into
Maximillian, fresh out of that crappy Black Hole movie. Chewie picks up
Maximillian and tosses him at Worf. Worf ducks (barely), and Maximillian
plows into some confused-looking cadets from The Last Starfighter. One
manages to stay conscious, and radios to his home base where *ALL* the
Starfighters are stored (in a fit of bad planning, I might add). The
Starfighters zoom into the fight between the Galactica and the Enterprise,
appearing behind the Galactica (which is taking quite the pounding, being
so cheesy). The Enterprise, being commanded by Riker (who just *loves* a
fight) shoots at one and blows it up, figuring that they just launched out
of the Galactica. The Starfighters then attack the Enterprise. Of course,
the three Star Destroyers stationed just outside the Tatooine system are
now just arriving, and they shoot at *everything*.

However, one of the Star Destroyers is hamstrung, for Madmartigan,
fresh from "Willow", has appeared on board the ship, at the same time that
Conan appears in the other end. They start killing everyone in sight,
because, after all, the toughest guys on those ships are Stormtroopers,
goddamit.

Down in the bar, Chewie and Worf are laying mighty blows on one
another when Picard gets the signal from Riker. The captain, realizing
that he's missing a *bigger* chance to wimp out of a fight, beams up to
the ship, along with everyone but Worf, too busy strangling Chewie.

Meanwhile, another three Star Destroyers have arrived, but they too
have trouble: the Colonial Marines from "Aliens" beamed in one, and this
time, their pulse-rifles were loaded. Of course, they wipe out the bad
guys even *faster* (hey, they have guns, not swords).

Chewie kicks mightily between Worf's legs. Fortunately, Worf is
wearing a cup, so it doesn't really hurt. Unfortunately, Chewie knows that
a ponytail is easy to grab. He does so, and flips Worh, using only his
ponytail.

Of course, by this time all hell has broken loose up in the stars.
Nine Star Destroyers are actively attacking everything and everybody.
(Another one isn't doing anything, as Madmartigan and Conan are involved
in a duel to the death. The last one switched sides when the Marines
figured out how the guns worked.) Swarms of TIE fighters are attacking as
well. On the other side, we have the Enterprise-D, the Galactica (now
having patched up their relations, kinda, although they *do* take the
occasional potshot at one another), some StarFighters, lots of Babylon 5
ships (looking as stupid as always), some of those cruisers from Space:
Above And Beyond, and that sucky escape pod that carried Superman to
Earth. (It's not fighting. However, as Tatooine has *two* yellow suns,
Superbaby is in *no* trouble even if the thing *does* blow up.)

By now, Worf and Chewie are breathing heavily. Both have taken it
to the limit. Finally, Worf swings mightily with his fist. Chewie jumps
back, raises his arm, and....BOOOM! Worf gets knocked back into the wall,
where his shoulders slump, unconscious.

(Oh, and the crazed interstellar conflict was resolved when they
realized that Wesley Crusher was the one responsible. So they killed him,
and everything went back to normal.)

- Christopher Bird

Two words "No Contest!" I mean Chewbacca has claws a foot
long and Worf nothing.If they were allowed weapons Chewbacca
would still triumph over the over-rated Worf. Chewbacca's
bowcaster(TM) and his aim could finish the battle in less than
a minute where as Worf would have his crappy Klingon battle
weapon. Worf will run out of rage and get blasted to a
withering corpse. Later Jabba the Hutt(TM) will feed the body
to his Rancor(TM).

Ahhh the Rancor(TM) now there is a scenario....Chewbacca and
Worf are battling it out in hand-to-hand combat and the battle
moved in front of Jabba(TM). Jabba getting so sick and bored of
the fight that he just pushes the switch to sends Chewbacca and
Worf sliding down to meet their doom. Worf looked around for
someway to escape,but found the place sqeaky clean (the cage
hadn't been cleaned for years and Jabba(TM) was getting annoyed
by the foul odor and the rotten corpse). Suddenly, Worf felt a
warm,smelly air on his back,but before he could turn around
CHOMP!! One quick head move by the Rancor(TM) and chopped
Worf's whole body in half.Next, the Rancor (TM) turned to
Chewbacca and deja vu al over.

This was a tough one. There are action figures with kung-fu grip of
both of them. There are Halloween costumes of both. They both
are aliens. The both have the sash. The both have pronounced canines.
...

- Richard W

"Rohn ta ho, bah na ma toh tcha"
--Jabba the Hutt

- Kurt

I think you guys are overlooking a big part of why Chewie would whip Warf.
While primal rage is indeed essential to the wookie's game, you cannot
discount his staying power and consistent badassness. Let's take a look at
the Trilogy. Of all the major players in Star Wars, who was the only one who
emerged unscathed? That's right, the Furry Warrior. Han got frozen in
carbonite, Luke (sissy bot that he was) got his hand chopped off, Obi Wan
bites it an hour and change into the first movie, Vader gets shocked with all
the volts of the Dark Side and then dies of Asthma, Leia perhaps suffers the
worst fate by being made Jabba's love slave, Boba Fet, the supposed best
headhunter in the universe is eaten for lunch, The Emperor goes on a one way
bungee jump, R2 is used for target practice in the back of Luke's Y-wing and
C3P0 is utterly dismantled (Please remember who kindly puts him back
together.) Is it coincidence that the worst the Wookie gets is handcuffed? I
think not. George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg are clearly trying to send us a
message - Wookies are the most superior form of life in the Universe. You can
argue specific character traits all you want, but in the end, it all comes
back to genetics and Darwin's theory of Natural Selection. The Wookie would
whip anyone, much less the lowly Klingons who seemed to get creamed pretty
much every week.

- GRD72

I'd say this is a close one, and although Chewie's got more motivation, Worf's
just plain TOUGHER. Round 1: Worf mistakes Chewie for cousin It and the
Wookie gets in first cuts. Round 2: Worf takes his sword thingy and cuts off
all of Chewie's hair, enabling everyone to see how skinny the guy really is.
Chewie whimpers in embarassment, takes out his bowcaster, and fires. Worf
takes a hit full in the chest, badly wounded. Round 3: Worf, now with a real
reason to attack, snaps Chewie in two. Worf in three rounds.
Of course, he will somehow feel that the fight was dishonorable, and gut
himself afterwards.

-Anil

You can talk holodecks all you want. Anytime a "real" fight has ever
come out Worf has gotten his butt kicked by almost every alien, and
he's supposed to be the most fierce - bull. Chewie would wipe the
floor with Worf and then take Troi as his trophy.

-M. Drury

Well, I voted for Chewie and here is why: he is ONE LONELY WOOKIE(tm)!!!
I mean, during the whole Star Wars movie saga, how many Wookie women has he
found? None, right? So, he sees Worf, who looks like a deformed Conehead on
crack anyway, and goes ballistic. Because, besides Han, what does Chewie
like more than anything else in the whole universe...DEFORMED CONEHEADS ON
CRACK(tm)!!!

So, the love stricken Wook-meister sees the Klingon turncoat, and he decides
to bestow on him some WOOKIE-LOVE(tm). He sprays in some WOMP-RAT NO
MORE(tm) breath spray and puts the moves on Worf. Before the Worf-man knows
what is going on, Chewie has taken him to a hotel, checked in under the false
name of Bob Palpantine, and put on some mood-music. And, because this is a
family web site, I will not elaborate on what happens next. All I know is
that Chewie needed a few drinks in Worf before, but in the end, we all know
how the story finishes. I say the Wookie in one night.

- Pulpdoggie

Worf will win. Why? Simple. Support. Chewie and Worf square off in the
arena. Meanwhile, Picard, Data, Riker, Barclay and the usual extra are
in a cage on one side of the room. On the other side of the room, in an
identical cage, you have C3PO, R2D2, Princess Leia, Han Solo, and Lando.

Picard: Number one, any plans?

Riker: What? Oh, sorry. I was watching the dancers.

Data: Captain, I can bend the bars of this cage, jump down the 5 meters,
and steal the weapon held by that bounty hunter, and kill everything in
the room except us in 10 microseconds.

Extra: I could jump down, break my leg, and take the blaster shot meant
for Data, and die in 2 microseconds.

Barclay: (In a residual moment of brilliance) Captain, I can throw my
communicator at a 1.25 degree angle in this direction, have it bounce off
the bounty hunter's blaster, off the dancer's top, off that annoying
thing living on the tub of lard, and lodge it in Jabba's brain, thus
disabling the blaster, dropping the top, knocking the little thing out,
and kiling Jabba instantly.

Meanwhile, in the other cage,

Solo: Anybody got a plan? I still can't see anything.

C3P0: Mr. Solo, I can translate all the foul comments everone out there
is saying into any of six million forms of communication. Oh dear.

R2D2: bleep blurp deeeep chirp blop.

C3P0: He said he can shoot out electric sparks, cut through the bars in
five minutes, get hit by a blaster shot and short out.

Lando: I know, we could sell Jabba out to the empire!

Leia: I'm not a committee!

Solo: Go chewie!

As you can see, Worf will have all kinds of help, while Chewie will be
fighting on his own, waiting for Luke to rescue them, but Luke is stuck
on Dagobah, since his crash landing has critically injured an annoying
little green alien.

- Cory Davis

The trekkies got stomped two times now
(Death Star vs. Enterprise and Redshirts vs
Stormtroopers), but I guess it's three for a
strike out :) Give it up !

-Alexander

Ok, so Worf projects this Klingon kick-butt attitude. He's got the
fancy knives, he's got his Holodeck training, basically he's got the
whole package when it comes to looking like a real killing machine.
But.. have we really ever seen him cut loose? Has Worf ever really
taken names? Let's face it, we've all seen enough of Klingons to
expect serious kickass when they're around. Heck, if TOS Klingons had
landed on Tattoine they would have already doublecrossed Jabba six
ways to Sunday and started bumping off moisture farmers who didn't pay
for their protective services. Then they'd put Han, Luke, and Chewie
in their Klingon mind sifters and turn their brains to scrambled eggs.

Enough speculation. Here are the facts: I cannot recall Worf ever, in
any of the Worfisodes or other TNG episodes, ever personally just
plain wreck house. I could have in fact missed some episode where he
really engaged in grade-A kickass, but all I can recall is him
shooting a couple of Borg once and mostly just complaining that as a
child all the other Klingons got to do Klingon stuff while he had to
stay in the Federation and learn to play violin or something. Now, he
always was around to say what a real Klingon might do in a given
sutation, or scare visitors and aliens with his forehead, or advise
the Captain to fire photon torpedoes(as a wise friend once said
"You've got them damn photon torpedoes, fire them damn photon
torpedoes!"). But one of my first memories of TNG is of Worf getting
roughed up by a Ferengi. Ok, so Quark can take Worf. I recall Lor
smacking Worf across the Enterprise's Wonkavator and knocking him out
cold. Indeed, most recently Worf almost got killed by the coat-check
boy on some Klingon ship before his brother saved the day. And as for
the Holo-fighting, the I believe Riker didn't have too much trouble
with Worf's little Holo-program. In fact, Riker could probably give
Chewie a little trouble with his tricky Aiki-bo-jitsu moves, and he's
got that one punch that never fails to knock out whatever security
guard he's having trouble with at the time(and I believe he used it
successfully on both Klingons and Ferengi). So I think we can safely
conclude that Worf, though we all admire him for who he is, is at best
unproven as a fighter.

Now Chewie, we know he's got the skills - head crackin', arm tearin',
bowcaster firin' skills. And he's got the rage-serious rage. Whenever
he is captured, or even in a socially unfcomfortable situation, his
hosts tend to prefer putting like fifteen guards on him and super
strong handcuffs. Now, he is a bit of a softy, and wouldn't
neccessarily want to fight Worf unless Worf was like endangering his
friends or something. But for the sake of argument let's say he's
ready to rumble. All I can say is: look out.

Chewie, 30 seconds.

- Dave C

...Sy Spirling of the hair club for men suddenly drops into Jaba's
palace with an elite group of Hair Club Comandos(tm), to rescue this duo. It
seems that Jaba had been broadcasting the fight live on Pay-Per-View, and Sy
in a moment of dubious insight realised what a great comercial he could make
with Worf as the before picture and Chewbacca as the after.

Realising that neither one of them usually gets the girls or the
glory, and tired of playing second fiddle to their respective leaders, they
join Sy, steal the Millenium Falcon, and take off for a life of babes and
wealth, all thanks to Mr. Sperling's intervention.

As they make the jump to light-speed Chewbacca slaps Worf on the
back knocking him into the bulkhead and out cold, thus settling the
question of who would have actually won the fight had it happened.

Meanwhile back on Tatooine...

Jaba, furious over loss of his contestants (and the complaints
from his Pay-Per-View customers) decides to throw the ST:Next Gen crew
into the Great Pit of Carkoon, while using Han Solo (frozen in Carbonite)
as a back-scratcher.

The first crew member to be thrown from the skiff is Wesley Crusher,
who promptly gives the creature indigestion, creating for the first time in
known history "The Great Acid Geyser of Carkoon".

Durring the commotion, Riker manages to overpower the gaurd on the
skiff as Data uses some of his own circuits and Geordie's VISOR to build a
homming beacon, thus allowing the Enterprise-D to beam them aboard.

With Wesley finally gone, and without the Federation watching his
every move, Picard makes Jaba an offer he can't refuse and finally puts the
moves on Doctor Crusher, thus cutting himself and the Enterprise-D in on the
smugling trade and relieving those nervous twitches he always seems to have.

Setting a course for Corescant, he decides to show the Emperor what
a Galaxy Class starship can do to a planet and incidently places a bounty
on the heads of Chewbacca and Worf.

- M.Pastreich

CHEWY in 1.2 seconds, the fastest K.O. in Grudge Match
history. Worf lie dead in a pool of blood and pee with a
suspiciously crossbow shaped buldge in his posterior
regions. Chewy plays his cool theme song (see the movie
"Clerks") and downs a couple of brews with Han.

Reason 1) Worf? A trained fighting machine? The guy who
misses phaser shots at backwater planet terrorists on THE
BRIDGE from 12 FEET AWAY? The guy who routinely gets his
fur boned butt kicked by men, women, child mutants, and all
other manner of alien creatures on a weekly basis. SH*T!!!
He can even beat Whoopie Goldberg at a game of Virtua Cop
(TM).

He apparently can execute fast recon against Napoleonic
infantry only to practically DIVE into a spear wielded by
some other kinda furball with the reflexes of a frozen Walt
Disney (TM?). And ANYTIME someone gets possessed by some
spirit or alien life force, the first thing they do is go
out and kick Worf's ASS! He can't even beat up Riker who
smokes cigars and often walks like a girl.

Routinely he get knocked out when his fellow crewmembers
are depending on him. And what about those "lightning
reflexes" when a slow moving plastic barrel filled with
packing peanuts crushes his spine in a cargo bay? In fact
the only fights worf EVER wins are those against holodeck
dudes (which he simply programs to lose but "make it look
good" and other Klingons, who as we see all the time, may
look quite fearsome and smelly but suck at actual combat.
Which by the way, brings me to an interesting point. How
the hell do Klingons actually build ships. You figure the
scientists and engineers, not to mention the blue collar
assembly types, would be drinkin' brews an fightin' each
other all the time in pitiful tests of klingonhood.

The only way Woof would even have a chance is if the loser
did not in fact die, but was force to "satisfy" the needs
of Lursa and Bator afterwards. A fate much worse than even
beings kissed by your sister, with tongue.

Reason 2) I don't know where Chewbacca hails from but its
gotta sound cooler than some dorky planet with a name like
"Kling."

Reason 3) The Baccameister's got the cool theme song (see
above).

Reason 4) Worf sounds like a guy that just sat down on a
corn cobb the "hard way" but is trying to stay cool. OTOH,
Chewys klingon-blood curdling scream is an amalagam of
several hundred of the most ferocious beasts on the planet
and sounds a lot like the sound a TIE Fighter makes just
before it blasts some rookie into the memorial section of
the Rebel Yearbook.

Reason 5) Chewy has the crossbow that shoots laser blasts.
Gorp has an incredibly oversized shoe horn with pointy
ends.

Reason 6) Woofie's in love with some 24th century granola
peace and love chick with large you know whats and makes
her living as a therapist! He will spend all his time
wrestling with his anxiety, thinking about how pissed
she'll be at catching him "fighting" again, and his mind
will inevitable wander south to muse about what he ain't
gonna be getting for a while. This will trigger memories
the humiliation he has suffered from all the barbs and off
color jokes made by fellow crewmen with internet access who
downloaded nekkid pictures of his girlfriend. The short: he
will be too distracted to see the killing blow coming until
it is too late, and by that time, he will welcome death.

Chewtobacco, on the other paw, has chosen to forgo
relationships in order to cultivate the James Dean /
Ghengis Khan image that more suits his rebellious
lifestyle. (He does however, have a cute French Poodle in
every spaceport.)

Reason 7) While not himself a Jedi, Chewy has experienced
the Force enough times to at least possess some unconscious
control to be used in a pinch. At the start of the battle,
Woof will feel an uncontrollable urge to pee, and that
split second when he locks his knees, WHAMMO (tm?), a
crossbow where the sun don't shine.

Reason 8) Klingons just don't care a whole damned lot about
dying. Hell, they seem to like it. In fact, their lack of
actual fighting ability could be seen as some sort of
evolutionary "suicide mechanism."

LAST BUT NOT LEAST- As bad as an actor Worf is, he has a
much better chance at getting another job than the
voiceless, faceless chump stuffed into the Chewy suit. He
loses this gig and his acting days are over. NO more
Hollywood parties, no more cocaine, no more Heidi Fleiss
hookers, and no more free runs at Drew Barrymore. Pretty
serious motivations not to lose.

But the real losers, as usual, will be the fans. More
specifically, the fans noses. Worf, Chewy, and Jabba in the
same room. Ugggh. The Janitor will not have a good day.

- Ghostwheel

I have to go with Worf on this one, for a couple of reasons. First,
Chewbacca is not a natural killer - OK, he can get really angry and
pull people's arms out, but that's not his instinct. Worf is a warrior,
he likes nothing more than killing (Romulans, Humans, Wookies, whatever).
And he is trained in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat. Moreover, have
you ever seen Chewbacca fight anything his own size? No, he just rips apart
droids. Chewy was also constantly being captured and put in shackles, have
you ever seen Worf in handcuffs?

Second, Worf is indestructable. He has all those redundant organs and
bones (two livers, two hearts, a skull way thicker than it needs to be).
Without a phaser, or an axe, Chewbacca won't even be able to dent him.
Finally, there is the biggest issue: motivation. If Chewy wins, what does
he get? A sloppy hug from Han. Great, that's certainly worth fighting for.
If Worf wins he gets to sleep with Deanna. Who do you think wants to
win more? Hell, for a night with Deanna, Chekov from TOS (TM) would have
a reasonable chance to beat Chewbacca.

It'll be a good fight, but Worf will defeat Chewbacca in about 8 minutes.