Be Your Own Happiness

“If your happiness depends on your children being happy, that makes them your hostages. Be your own happiness. And that way you are the teacher for your children: someone who knows how to live a happy life.”
(Byron Katie)

Parents often base our own sense of happiness on external circumstances. We find ourselves dependent on things beyond our control. It’s a common thing. But, just because it’s common doesn’t make it helpful. Feelings like happiness are largely based on choices that we must make on a daily basis — especially when it comes to living with our children.

If your child is throwing a tantrum or pitching a fit, guess what? That doesn’t have to make you upset. You can still choose happy. If your teenager is moping about and grumbling about how hard her life is, guess what? You don’t have to pull her out of that emotional ditch before you can feel good about life.

You can be happy; you can choose to bring happy with you wherever you go. Even if your child is yelling about how mean you are, you don’t have to take that personally. This is a simple and profound truth: Other than physical pain, no one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel.

If only there were a book that talked about this further (actually, tomorrow may bring one…)