Playboy Is Eliminating Nudity Completely in 2016

Hear that? It's the sound of billions men pouring one out to signify the death of a beloved institution. As of March 2016, Playboy will stop publishing images of naked women in its magazine. If you feel inclined to ask why, shout, and point fingers, turn those fingers right around and point to yourself. It's our fault, it's the fault of the Internet, it's the fault of living in an age where sex is everywhere.

"That battle has been fought and won,” said Scott Flanders, the company’s chief executive. “You’re now one click away from every sex act imaginable for free. And so it’s just passé at this juncture.” The New York Times reports that Hugh Hefner, the 89-year-old editor-in-chief has also agreed to the magazine's redesign. The Times also notes that Playboy's reach has dramatically declined in the last few decades, circulating 5.6 million copies in 1975 to about 800,000 now.

However, numbers are showing that this change could be what people want. Since Playboy.com decided to do away with nudity last August, "the average age of its reader dropped from 47 to just over 30, and its web traffic jumped to about 16 million from about four million unique users per month." People work in offices where NSFW is enforced [Ed. note: definitely not in this office, though].

The site's chief content officer explains that there will still be racy pictures, but they'll be more intimate and provocative rather than pornographic. While the company still insists on featuring a Playmate of the Month, the writing will be more sex-positive and continue to feature in-depth journalism and fiction.

Still, what will horned-up kids look at years from now in the woods behind their house? What will you find hidden away in your dad's sock drawer? Printed out listicles? GIFs? A satchel full of GIFs?!

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Jeremy Glass is a writer for Thrillist and now definitely reads it for the articles.