What do pro-feminist men believe, what do they do, and how did they come to this?
Michael Flood offers some answers.

 Who are pro-feminist men?

Pro-feminist men are men who are actively supportive of feminism and of efforts to
bring about gender justice and equality.

Some pro-feminist men are involved in political activism. One of the most common areas
of involvement is mens violence, and there are mens groups in Australia, the
US, Canada, Europe and elsewhere who have this as their focus. Pro-feminist men do
anti-violence work with boys and young men in schools, offer sexual harassment workshops
in workplaces, run community education campaigns, and counsel male perpetrators of
violence. Pro-feminist men also are involved in mens health, activism on
pornography, academic research on masculinity, the development of gender equity curricula
in schools, and many other areas. This work is sometimes in collaboration with feminists
and womens services (such as domestic violence and rape crisis centres).

Other pro-feminist men are not active in public campaigns. Nevertheless, their
commitment to pro-feminism takes the form of trying to live in egalitarian and respectful
ways in their daily lives  at home, at work and on the street.

 What do pro-feminist men believe?

Pro-feminist men are sympathetic to feminist understandings of society. We believe that
women as a group suffer inequalities and injustices in society, while men as a group
receive various forms of power and institutional privilege. The current, dominant model of
manhood or masculinity is oppressive to women, as well as limiting for men themselves. We
also recognise the costs of masculinity: conformity to narrow definitions of manhood comes
with the price tag of poor health, early death, overwork and emotionally shallow
relationships. We believe that men must take responsibility for our own sexist behaviours
and attitudes and work to change those of men in general. Both personal and social change
are vital.

For some men, their sympathy for feminism revolves around a simple acceptance that men
and women should be equal. Women should have the access to jobs and areas of public life
as do men. For others, being pro-feminist is about a passionate and profound commitment
which has changed every corner of their lives. For yet other men, being pro-feminist is
about a radical questioning of traditional Western models of thought, of the ways in which
these privilege masculine ways of being and knowing. Some mens pro-feminism is
informed by contemporary feminist theory, while others is informed by gut feelings
and conversations with their partners and sisters and mothers and friends.

Just as there is substantial diversity and disagreement within feminism, there is
diversity among pro-feminist men. One area of disagreement for example is over the extent
to which men are also limited or harmed by the gender relations of society. Some men
emphasise the privilege that men receive by virtue of being men in a patriarchal or
male-dominated society, while others emphasise the ways in which both men and women are
constricted by gender roles.

Some pro-feminist men argue that those who emphasise the latter, or who even claim that
like women men are "oppressed", are not really pro-feminist or not pro-feminist
enough. Others make a distinction between "radical profeminist" and
"liberal profeminist" men, and emphasise their shared commitments and
similarities.

Pro-feminist men typically also recognise the importance of other forms of injustice
and other kinds of social relations, such as those to do with class, race, sexuality, age
and disability. Men share very unequally in the fruits of male privilege, being a
man means different things among different groups and in different arenas, and some
forms of manhood are dominant or "hegemonic" while others are marginalised or
subordinated.

A pro-feminist perspective is applicable to and relevant for any area of mens
lives. For example, issues of child custody and family law have usually been taken up by
men who are non-feminist or anti-feminist (such as "mens rights" and
"fathers rights" groups), but there is no reason why they cannot be taken
up as areas of pro-feminist mens activity too.

 How do men come to be pro-feminist?

Mens pro-feminism, like any other set of values, beliefs or political activities,
is based on deeply felt personal experiences and histories, relationships and intimacies,
and values and commitments.

Many men come to pro-feminism out of a sense of distance from traditional masculinity,
an unease as boys and throughout their lives with the ways in which they have been
expected to hold themselves and to interact with others. They have become aware of the
toll taken by the dominant models of how to be a man  the toll taken on their own
emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing, and the damage done to their relationships,
families and communities through violence, self-centeredness and isolation. Mens
realisation of the hollowness and corruption of traditional masculinity is a common path
to mens issues, whatever strand of mens organising they then join.

Some men come to pro-feminism because of other deeply felt experiences  because
their loyalty and closeness to a particular woman in their lives  a mother, a lover,
a cherished friend  has forged an intimate understanding of the injustices suffered
by women and the need for men to take action. Some men come to an advocacy of feminism
through their commitments to other sorts of principled political activism  to
pacifism, economic justice, green issues, gay liberation and so on. They have been exposed
to feminist and related ideals through their political involvements, their workplaces or
their higher education. Others get involved in dealing with their own experience of sexual
violence or sexual abuse from other men and sometime women. (I am indebted to John
Stoltenberg in Refusing to be a man for his eloquent portrayal of such
involvements.)

 What do pro-feminist men want?

What do we want? A society that is gender-just, equal, democratic and beautiful! When
do we want it? Now!

Pro-feminist men want the same things that feminists want: a world in which relations
between men and women are peaceful, egalitarian, trusting and joyous; in which neither men
nor women are confined into rigid, unhealthy and soul-destroying models of living; in
which the rigid division into masculine and feminine has been replaced by a rich and
colourful diversity of genders or of ways of being.

 Which feminism are you pro?

Thats a good question. Feminism is not one unitary body of theory or one unified
movement. In the old days some people talked about liberal, socialist and radical
feminisms. And these days you can add at least black and postcolonial feminisms, lesbian
and queer feminisms, poststructuralist and postmodern feminisms, and much more.
Pro-feminist men share this same diversity, drawing on or influenced by different strands
of feminism. And this diversity is evident too in the writings and theory of pro-feminist
authors.

 Why do you call yourselves "pro-feminist" and not just
"feminist"?

Feminism is a movement and a body of ideas developed primarily by, for and about women.
Men can never fully know what it is like to be a woman. If we call ourselves
"feminists", we run the risk of colonising feminism or looking like were
saying weve got all the answers.

Some feminist women argue that men can call themselves feminists, as long as
they live up to the same standards as women who are feminists  to support the
equality of women and men. Nevertheless, most pro-feminist men use the label
"pro-feminist" rather than "feminist". We believe that there is plenty
men can and should do to support feminism, and we dont need to call ourselves
"feminists" to do it.

 Are pro-feminist men part of the mens movement?

Well, some say yes and some say no. For some people, pro-feminist men are the feminist
wing of the mens movement, a movement which also includes mens liberationists,
spiritual and mythopoetic men, mens rights and fathers rights men. There is
also internal disagreement within this "movement", for example with pro-feminist
men being critical of the anti-feminist and anti-women agendas of mens rights and
fathers rights groups. Others say that pro-feminism is one of a number of separate
although overlapping mens movements.

However, some pro-feminist men distance themselves from the mens movement and do
not consider themselves to be a part of it. Some believe that the mens movement has
the potential for backlash, that it will turn towards the defence of mens privilege
and position, or that this has already occurred. While all pro-feminist men assume that
men must act to dismantle gender injustice, some argue that a "mens
movement" is not the way to do this. They advocate instead that we build alliances
and coalitions with other progressive groups and movements (such as feminism, gay and
lesbian liberation, left-wing and socialist movements, and anti-racist struggles).

 Does being pro-feminist mean that you are anti-male?

No. We are anti-sexist, we are anti-patriarchal, but we are not anti-male. Pro-feminist
men are hopeful about both mens and womens futures. We believe that men, like
women, are perfectly capable of being loving, nurturing and non-oppressive human beings.
We reject the idea that men are somehow intrinsically bad, oppressive or sexist. We
believe that men can change and we support every mans efforts at positive change. We
recognise the need to build close relations and supportive alliances among men, as part of
the process of change. Some pro-feminist men thus describe themselves as both pro-feminist
and "male-positive", or as concerned with "enhancing mens
lives".

We assume that individual men are not responsible for, and cant be blamed for,
social structures and values such as the social construction of masculinity or the history
of womens oppression. At the same time, individual men are responsible for their
oppressive behaviour (such as violence) and can and should choose to change it.

Male-positivity and pro-feminism balance each other. Being male-positive of course
doesnt mean supporting whatever men do. We have to retain a sense of ethics or
values, and to assess men and masculinities accordingly. Being male-positive is compatible
with criticising oppressive or destructive aspects of mens groups or mens
movements.

The only sense in which pro-feminism is "anti-male" is that some believe we
must dismantle the whole system of dividing people into two "opposite sexes",
"male" and "female". In other words, part of the problem is the
two-gender system itself, one fundamentally based on hierarchy and privilege. Other
pro-feminist men disagree, arguing that we must change the content of models of
masculinity rather than get rid of notions of masculinity and femininity altogether.

 Are pro-feminist men usually gay?

Well, pro-feminist men include men across the sexual spectrum. Its hard to say
whether the proportion of gay and bisexual men among pro-feminists is any greater than the
proportion in society in general (which some people estimate at around ten percent),
because no one has done the research. Men often come to a sympathy for feminism through
their sexual relationships with women, so this is a specifically heterosexual path to
pro-feminism. But gay men have sometimes been drawn to pro-feminism because of their sense
of distance from traditional masculinity or their realisation of the links between
homophobia (widespread fear and hatred of non-heterosexuals) and sexism.

Those men who question traditional masculinity or behave in non-stereotypical ways are
sometimes perceived to be gay (whether they are or not) and attacked in homophobic ways.
This is an indication of the strange link often assumed in our society between sexual
orientation (who you desire or have sex with) and gender behaviour (conformity to notions
of proper manhood).

Many pro-feminist men believe that masculinity is strongly moulded by homophobia and
that the dominant model of masculinity is a heterosexual one. Homophobia and heterosexism
(a system of heterosexual privilege) represent injustices to non-heterosexual people, and
also constrict the lives of heterosexuals. Men in particular find their emotional, social
and sexual lives limited by the fear of being perceived as gay. Growing up, men are faced
with the continual threat of being seen as gay and the continuous challenge of proving
that they are not gay. Homophobia leads men to limit their loving and close friendships
with other men, to behave in hypermasculine and aggressive ways and to close up
emotionally.

The fear of being seen as gay prevents boys and men from questioning and ultimately
abandoning traditional masculinity. Many pro-feminist men thus believe that men and
masculinity will not change much until homophobia is radically undermined.

 How do pro-feminist men deal with areas of male pain and disadvantage?

Anti-feminist men so far have been more effective than pro-feminist men in speaking to
certain aspects of mens lives. They rightly identify areas of pain, confusion and
powerlessness experienced by many men, although they misdiagnose them and thus
misprescribe the cure. Anti-feminist men also fail to identify other problems experienced
by men (such as bullying and hazing between boys or men), or wrongly blame
women for them.

Pro-feminist men are increasingly acknowledging and addressing areas of male pain and
disadvantage: the poor state of mens health and boys education, violence
against males, mens painful experiences of divorce and custody, and more. At the
same time, we are critical of the broader anti-women and anti-feminist agendas which have
sometimes accompanied recognition of these issues, and we disagree with
"mens rights" men about their causes, character and prevalence.

Some "mens rights" strategies in fact are harmful to men themselves.
Mens rights advocates have attacked services for women, while calling for either
parallel services for men or services for both men and women. Attacking services primarily
for women is no way to gain services for men, and is in itself offensive and unethical.
Such strategies focus on the wrong target, they antagonise potential supporters, they
taint as backlash the need to address such mens issues, and they are based on a
simplistic "Youve got it, we want it too" logic which may not provide the
most appropriate services for men. (For a detailed discussion of these issues, see my
article "Responding to mens rights", in XY magazine, Spring
1997.)

Pro-feminist men agree that services and resources should be provided, for example to
boys and men who have suffered violence and abuse. These should not be at the expense of
resources or funding directed to women. We advocate that men work with women, building
alliances and relationships, rather than adopting an "us against them" model
based on a "war between the sexes".

 So

Men have a vital role to play in the transformation of gender relations begun by
feminism and the womens movements. Pro-feminist men are welcome and important
participants in this process. And by taking up gender justice as a personal commitment and
a political goal, by living our lives in ways that make a difference, we both help
ourselves and change the world.

To find out more: XY magazines web site has a wealth of articles
which embody various pro-feminist perspectives and issues. The site also has links to
other pro-feminist mens sites around the world. You can find the site at: http://www.xyonline.net/

Michael Flood is an Australian sociologist at the University of
Wollongong. Flood gained his doctorate in gender and sexuality studies
from the Australian National University. His areas of research are on
violence against women, fathering, pro-feminism, domestic violence, the
effects of pornography on young people, safe sex and heterosexual men,
men's movements as a backlash to the feminist movement, men's
relationships with each other and with women, homophobia, men's health
and gender justice.

Flood is a co-editor of the International Encyclopedia of Men and
Masculinities, and the author of academic papers on men and gender, men’s
sexualities, violence against women, homosociality, fathering,
anti-violence mobilisations, and youth and pornography. Flood has also
worked as a profeminist educator and activist on issues of men and
gender; he is involved in community advocacy and education addressing
men’s violence against women. He coordinates, edits and contributes to
XYonline, a profeminist website providing a range of commentary and
research on men and masculinities, male sexuality, feminism, the men's
movement and male violence from a feminist perspective. He also
coordinates The Men’s Bibliography, an online collection of over
22,000 works on men, masculinities, and gender.