that you were slowly disappearing out of my veins. Sometimes I even wondered whether you were ever even real at all. And then there you were. All out of sudden, after all this time. Right in front of me. And the fire in me that had shrunk to a glowing cole bursted into flames...

and I really thought I was getting better. But then all out of sudden I realized I was going downhill again, or might have never even really got up.
I found I give in to everyone who offers me even the slightest bit of attention, desperately trying to fill up the emptiness...