The world is trying to figure out how to deal with the new crop of young people entering public life. While some of them have jobs but no families or houses, so their disposable income is deliciously disposable; others are saddled with staggering debt and bleak employment prospects. The powers that be have always had a hard time reckoning with youth, but today's marketing efforts have to be particularly thoughtful.

Macy's is going the extra mile with a brand new initiative determined to sweep the so-called Millennials off their feet. The retailer's planning to redouble their social media engagement, support relevant brands and develop new ones, update their signage, and speed up production to better compete with fast-fashion behemoths like Zara and H&M.

Seems like a sound strategy, but I'd like to offer my expert 24-year-old opinion. If you'd like to sell me clothing, here's how you might go about it:

Mmm, I think that's it? Dance classes, toilet paper, and laundry are pretty much my only real needs. Apart from love and fulfillment, and if you can figure out how to sell those at a store you win America.