REVEALED: Cruden leaves NZ because he’s been banned from every strip bar

Aaron Cruden today announced his move to French rugby, signing a $2.4m deal with club, Montpellier. However, he has revealed that his reasons for leaving NZ are not to do with the ascension of Beauden Barrett to the preferred All Black number 10 spot.

‘Straight up, it hasn’t been the same since that stripper scandal back last year.’ he told Thai Castle in an exclusive interview, ‘Not that I had anything to do with that, I would never do anything like what those muppets did. I always try and give the girls gifts and promise that I can take them away from all this. I actually fell in love with several strippers last season.’

It seems the scandal, in which a stripper hired by the Chiefs claimed she was inappropriately touched and assaulted by members of the team, has meant a blanket ban from entering any strip club in the country has been enforced.

“It’s heartbreaking.” Cruden continued. “All I want to do is go in, flash my cash around and act like a big deal.”

Cruden is excited by the prospect of being able to rekindle his love of strippers in France, claiming his ‘White Knight’ technique will translate well in the European clubs.

When asked how this may affect his on field performances, he simply replied he ‘didn’t care’