It must be the squeaky shoes of Hal "I'm Not Cheap" Steinbrenner, the business-minded scion of a family that needs both sets of fingers to count its billions. "I'm Not Cheap" earned his nickname two months ago, when he pulled up lame in the auction for Yoan Moncada, allowing the Redsocks to buy the 19-year-old Cuban infielder. Hal showed the designer lapels of his trash bag raincoat and assured the Yankiverse that he's not cheap. Ever since, the sound has been echoing... cheep, cheep, cheep...

But the Yankee brain trust has made critical changes. Since the Moncada fiasco, the Yankees have removed from the masthead Felix M. Lopez, the Cuban-born husband of Jessica Steinbrenner, who remains one of the thousand vice presidents of the team. (Just keeeding, there are actually only 16.) A recent column by the Daily News' Bill Madden - (in which he somewhat offensively nicknames Lopez "The Gardener;" does anybody proof those columns?) - claimed the Yankees blame Lopez for losing Moncada. Apparently, he botched the negotiations. "I'm Not Cheap"s unwillingness to spend an extra $5 million had nothing to do with it.

(FUN FACT: Felix Lopez is a member of the Grand Lodge of Free and Accepted Masons of Florida, and Nobles of the Mystic Shrine of North America!)

Oh, well... who cares? There's a new Moncada on the market, a pitching version! His name is Yadier Alvarez, and he's 19, and the odds are that he will soon clear MLB contract standards, meaning the Retrieval Empire can bid on him. (After July 2, "I'm Not Cheap" will be banned from bidding wars over international talent for the next two years. Hal will be heaven! Nobody will be able to complain!)

The Dodgers are said to be most active in the pursuit of Alvarez. The above article does not mention the Yankees. Of course, with "I'm Not Cheap" at the helm, why would anybody bother? I wonder what the next set of excuses will be?