Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Even though my prospects are vanishingly small, I have recently been contemplating what to call myself if I am ever given a Knighthood. Apparently Harry Secombe chose ‘Sir Cumference’ as his title.

So far I’ve been toying with ‘Sir Cumcision’, or perhaps ‘Sir Hansirhan’. Maybe I’ll just go with ‘Sir Stu of Stu’.

What do you think?

I’ve also been thinking about possible Jedi names. I realise that my chances of becoming a Jedi are practically nil because I am “…too old. Too old to begin the training”, but the Jedi council may change the rules and it is as well to be prepared.

If I were ever to become a Jedi I would probably have to be ‘Stubee Too Kenubee’ or maybe ‘Ingy Bing Flamingy’. Views?

The thought occurs that, whilst the likes of Milli Vanilli and Scritti Politi are already pretty much sorted with their Jedi names, the likes of Stirling Moss and Richard Briars have really got their work cut out. On the other hand, Engelbert Humperdink could just be ‘Berti Hump Erdinki’.

Tying these two subjects together poses the further thought: If a Jedi apprentice was ever given a Knighthood, would he automatically become a Jedi Knight without having to complete his training?

If any of you have been thinking about your noble titles or Jedi names, feel free to post your ideas.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Monday, December 05, 2005

White heat is screaming in the jungleComplete the motion if you stumbleGo ask the dust for any answersCome back strong with 50 belly dancers

That was an excerpt from the Red Hot Chili Peppers song - Can't Stop.I have no idea what it means, but if you ever need cheering up, listen to this song.It is quite possibly the crowning achievement of human endeavor...

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Occasionally, when I'm bored, I click on the "Next Blog" button on the Blogger toolbar and browse the recently updated blogs in search of something interesting. Recently I stumbled across one entitled "Am i so wrong". Now, I'm not normally a stickler for ethics and morals but every once in a while I'll come across someone who really gets on by wick. The author of this particular blog has decided, like many of us, to use his blog as a kind of virtual soap box. A place where he can empty his mind of life's little niggles or post an open question or observational nugget. Most of the time people who do this appear honest and the things that they post are seem to be original works. This dickhead, however, is different.He has blatantly plagiarised the rantings of the late comedian Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks was possibly the most talented stand up comedian since Lenny Bruce. His insightful and intelligent observations were delivered in a unique, self styled tirade from the age of about 14 to about 34 when he sadly past away.As you can probably tell Mr Hicks is something of a hero of mine, and yes, I often quote segments of his routine, and no, I probably don't give him credit every time I repeat one of his comments. That’s fair enough I think. If one were to constantly credit the author of every humorous titbit, then they would end up doing very little else. However, if you are challenged as to whether or not the comment was your own or a quote from someone else, I think that honesty is the only option.My problem with the author of "Am i so wrong" is that when I posted a comment on his site, jokingly making reference to Bill Hicks, he deleted it. The words pussy and moron spring to mind. In reponse to his question: Am I so wrong? the answer would have to be: Yes, I think you probably are.Obviously I would not advise that anyone else visit this site and post a similar comment to mine, but if you really must, then I cannot stop you.

Oh, I almost forgot. Reading between the lines, it appears that he's lousy in bed as well.