One thing I never see discussed is the main side effect of no fap campaigns: involuntary spoodging of one's self whilst out and about, running errands and performing daily tasks.

If I don't bust a nut once a week, my nuts will bust one for me, unannounced at awkward moments, that I have to stew in for at least a couple of minutes until I can sneak away and scrape the cummy bears out of my drawers. It's usually by day 10 that the possibility of random spoodge circumstances arise, reminding me to rub one out, all proper later on that evening.

If you haven't had this happen to you, first of all, you're lying and I don't believe you, but I'll explain the process nonetheless. There you are. High noon. Time for lunch. Get up from your chair, set out to acquire comestibles. Having eaten lunch, return to your desk. Check emails. Oh look, some retard is being a fuckwad and everyon-- Wait a minute. Wait a minute... What's that? Is that what I??? Uh oh...

And so, from all the way behind the balls, up, up, out and through the pee hole. No boner. No warning. Just a gob of sludge prying it's way through some unfamiliar tunnel, climbs up and out, perches itself on the tip at first, and spreads itself like grape jelly on crispy toast across this insides of your pants. What. The fuck.

You shift in your seat, and more spackle gets nudged i to the pipe, dispassionately, without the heat of sex on your mind, like shit going in the wrong direction. Just barging through some tract in your guts, like John Belushi smashing an accoustic guitar.

What's your frequency of spoodge events during a no fap zone? Mine's less than two weeks. Which is why a whole month doesn't make sense to me. I'd be creaming my jeans on accident twice a day by the time an entire mo th rolls over. Come on.