Friday, June 25, 2010

Sometimes I get on here and type two sentences, then decide that I have writer's block and give up. Some of my latest false starts have been:

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once! I make a lot of mistakes. It's a natural part of this trial and error life....

A beer is what I need. Haven't had very many of those. Okay, NEVER, but I am thinking I might need one right now...

Since I have been to MEPS, I haven't had time to tell you about it. Wait. I never told you I was goign to MEPS???

Speaking of MEPS, I'm going to mention it now. It's Military Entrance Processing Station, in Omaha. It is for people entering the Armed Forces. Yeah, that's me!! Soon to be Property of the US Navy!!!!!!!!!

I'll tell you what it was like. I went to take the ASVAB first. That's a fun little test you take to see if you're smart enough for a nuclear job or if you should just be a janitor. You can only score up to 99, and the score means you scored better than that percentage of people who test. So I got an 80, which means I did pretty good. :) Considering I didn't study for it except some stupid reasoning (I would mix the blue nitrogen and the red stuff, cause it would make purple!!) My lowest line score was mechanics-I only got a 38!!!!!!!! Haha

After the ASVAB, I went to a lovely lodge for the night. It was really nice! Live music, a nice bar (although I couldn't drink), a huge pool and spa, and a whole room for MEPS kids. I didn't have anyone with me, so just stayed in my room after supper. Talked to a friend on the phone, read a book, and then went to sleep...

At 5am, I had to go to breakfast. It was wayyy too early for breakfast. But after that we climbed on a bus for MEPS. On the way there, I heard hopeful Marine recruits reading all the road signs out loud. It was boring. So I talked to the girl next to me about tattoos instead.

At MEPS, we were lined up by military branch and sent to physicals. That was probably the most mundane and dreary and uncomfortable part of the ordeal. First thing was an eye exam, followed by a hearing test and pulse. Then we had an hour long briefing, where we were told to TELL THE TRUTH!!! And I did, of course, because that is my nature.

Next came the really bad part. We were told to drink as much as we could for a pee test. I had been drinking all day... and I had to go really bad by 8:30. I had to go talk to the doctor for a private interview, and I bounced in his seat as he quizzed me.

"Why do you want to join the Navy, Angel?"

"Well, I think that it would be a good career, a wonderful chance to have a family in a secure enviroment, make a real difference at work, and financial freedom."

"That's really good! Now. Are you or have you ever been suicidal?"

(blinking) "Um, I think if that were the case... I would have joined the Marines?"

After a bout of hysterical laughter, the doctor took me out to the main room, where he repeated my statement to the entire faculty and they all laughed, even the Marine officers. Then I finally got to pee. I heard that it would be hard to because the lady would watch me. It made no difference. I filled the cup past the line, peed a little more,then turned in my cup and went to the bathroom to go again!

After that we had to strip down to our underwear and do a lot of stretching movements to prove our flexibility. That was no problem at all for me, albeit slightly awkward! But we did great, then it was time to get weighed. "How much do you weigh?" "about 145?" "Okay... step on the scale... oh, 139!" "AWESOME!!!" haha I was happy.

Then I got checked for scars and my tattoo was measured and screened to see if it was a gang sign. Next was the 'woman exam', which went quickly and painlessly. Then the doctor told me that because of my appendectomy, I had to wait until July 10th to be admitted (3 months). This infuriated my recruiter, who had made sure I was approved despite that. But there was no way around it...

Which left blood tests, and I almost passed out, the needle was soooo big!! But then we had lunch and I went home, with my fuming recruiter, in his suave 2010 Malibu. haha yeahh!!

So.. July 10th I will be heading back. And this time I will be enlisted. Anchors Aweigh!!!

Since then I have been busy working, working out, and enjoying my summer! More on that sooooonnn...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Andrew is twelve today. This boy is my boy. I'm sorry.I can't see him as my mom's, or my step dad's... he'sall mine. When he was 1, he would choose me overANYONE in my family to hold him when he wassick. Even when he barfed all over me.When I first heard my mom was having a boy, Icried. I had never cried about a baby before. But Iwasn't sad. I was deliriously happy because I wasfinally getting a brother! Andrew was the 'other'firstborn in my family. His name started with anA, just like mine. I loved him with my entire14 -year-old heart.

When he was 19 months old and pulled boiling hot coffeeoff a shelf, covering his little body and face in 3rddegree burns, it was me who stayed with him in thehospital while my mom cared for 4 girls and anotherbaby on the way.

This boy is mine because we bonded in a way notmany brothers and sisters do. When his dad left ourhouse, I was left with a tiny locket and key necklace sethe had given me stating that my heart was his. WhenAndrew noticed, he asked if he could have the key. Iknew of no other boy I would rather give it to.

In April I got engaged. When I was thinking about whowould walk me down the aisle,my brother came to mind.I asked him what job he would like for the wedding, tellinghim he could choose whatever he wanted to do. He askedfor time to think. (He's a very mature 12.) A while later, heasked-he asked!-if he could walk me down the aisle. Afterstifling tears that would mortify a little brother with a 'cool'big sister, I told him I would love for him to give my hand.

And I meant it.

Here's wishing a happy birthday to the bestbrother in the entire world!!! Love you Andrew.

This year, over half of the African American children will be fatherless on this day. By fatherless I mean most have never even met their daddies.

Divorce rates are higher than they've ever been-by a landslide.

I don't even know how many dads try to contact their kids, but it's not many.

I never had to worry about it... my father figure was set in stone. I was numb to feelings anyway, so it didn't matter.

Until two years ago. Then I started looking for a reason to celebrate. Since Warren was finally out of my life for good, I realized I don't have a father figure, really... and my biological father has never even met me or attempted to. What did that leave? A sudden vacancy.

Not that I want that vacancy filled. I rather enjoy being tough and not needing a male parent. I'm an adult, I keep telling myself that. haha

Just... every Father's Day, I get a little tug in my heart. That tug worsens into an ache when I log into Facebook and see all of the daddy's girls wishing their fathers the best day ever. I'm happy for them and at the same time mourning my own tragic fatherlessness.

About Me

No, you can't stopThe motion of the oceanOr the rain from aboveThey can try to stop the paradiseWe're dreaming ofBut you cannot stop the rhythmOf two hearts in love to stay'Cause you can't stop the beat!

Friends

About the Artist

I live in a world full of fantastic color. My name is baby blue and feels like cotton candy. I have synesthesia, which is a rare sensory condition. ****
I love music more than anything in the world, probably because it is the music of angels :)****
Gandhi is my hero and my role model, although I don't agree with everything he said or did.****
I never really had a childhood, but I'm happy to announce that the child in me is now alive and strong!
You can read my story at http://pastflashes.blogspot.com/