“To put the risk of developing a blood clot from a birth control pill into perspective: The risk of blood clots is higher when using any birth control pills than not using them, but still remains lower than the risk of developing blood clots in pregnancy and in the postpartum period… For example: If 10,000 women who are not pregnant and do not use birth control pills are followed for one year, between 1 and 5 of these women will develop a blood clot.”

According to that statistic, the chance of a woman having a blot clot while not on the pill is between 0.0001% and 0.0005%. Hard figures for an increase in risk don’t exist because of conflicting data. But even if you multiply it by a conservative factor of seven, the risk remains well below 1 in 1,000.

Is it a statistically significant increase? If it were, wouldn’t the FDA simply recall the drug and pull it from pharmacy shelves?

The FDA report was actually like over 50 pages long, and had a lot of extraneous information about what birth control is. I read mostly the parts about the two FDA-funded studies, and there was info about seven other medical studies involving drospirenone. It was a long and tedious task. You’re welcome, women.

Officers said Deangelo Mitchell convinced his brother, 20-year-old Wayne Mitchell, to swallow the ounce of cocaine to hide the evidence. He died soon afterward. “It’s sickening,” North Charleston Police Chief Jon Zumalt told WCIV. “I got upset when I saw the thing. I was pretty shocked on it.” Deangelo Mitchell already bonded out of jail on the drug charge, but now police are looking for him again on charges of involuntary manslaughter.

That’s all there is to that story. Good times in North Carolina.

But what I really want to know is how exactly that transaction occurred, physically speaking.

I’m assuming it was in a bag, he pulled that motherfucker out, and then the brother poured it in powder form into his mouth and swallowed. But the article is so vague. But maybe something sick and weird happened like he depantsed, bent over, pushed it out a little, and made his brother rip the bag with his teeth and then suck it out of his anal cavity. Maybe he just wanted a last rimming before he was arraigned.

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In other butt-related news, the original “What What (in the Butt)” producer is attempting to sue Viacom/Comedy Central for infringement in their 2008 airing of the infamous Butter’s parody in South Park.

A district court dismissed the case last year before summary judgment had even begun, and Brownmark Films responded by filing a motion to appeal with the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals. In an amicus brief filed Monday, The Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) backed Viamon arguing that South Park’s re-imagining of the work is a clear case of Fair Use and First Amendment rights.