Tidbits: Stripper apologizes to Bullock by fax

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“I know that this message will most likely go unanswered, but I want you to know that I am sorry for any hurt or pain that I have caused you,” Melissa Smith wrote.

Updated at 11:18 PM CST on Monday, Apr 26, 2010

Though she’s said to have carried on a two-year affair with Sandra Bullock’s husband, stripper Melissa Smith suddenly regrets her romance with Jesse James. At least that seems to be the case based on Smith’s latest and not-so-private correspondence.

Thanks to a fax sent to Bullock’s agent and later discovered by TMZ, Smith’s newfound remorse and “deepest regrets” can be read by all.

“I know that this message will most likely go unanswered, but I want you to know that I am sorry for any hurt or pain that I have caused you,” Smith explained to the Oscar-winning actress. “My actions of engaging with a married man are unforgivable. I never meant you any harm.”

While Smith hopes to gain Bullock’s forgiveness, she insisted, “I compromised my beliefs on several occasions and as a result, will never forgive myself.”

‘Dancing’ pro judges the judges
The judges deliver the reviews on “Dancing With the Stars,” and the dancers use that feedback to fix their footwork — in theory. There’s just one problem, according to “Dancing” pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy. The judges don’t always know what they’re talking about.

“Our audience is educated enough to know that Kate was not a great dancer and that Evan and Nicole are much better,” Chmerkovskiy posted to his TV Guide blog. “We don't need judges to tell us that; what we need judges for is to be constructive. We don’t want them to be confusing or say something without any substance. … Fans tell me they're confused by the judges, but they’re not the only ones.”

As for specifics, Chmerkovskiy simply pointed to a recent comment his partner, Erin Andrews, received from panelist Carrie Ann Inaba.

“When Carrie Ann said something about Erin’s ankles in the jive — what is she talking about? Her feet weren't pointed? Her toes weren't pointed?” the pro pondered. “Because in 26 years of dancing, I have never heard about the ankles in the jive — not in lessons I've taught, not in lessons I've taken.”

This communication rift isn’t exactly a rare occurrence on the ballroom bash.

“The judges aren't always constructive,” Chmerkovskiy reiterated. “I have no idea what they're talking about most of the time. Not all of the time, most of the time.”

Dish on the fly It’s just not “Jersey Shore” without a Snooki-centric bar brawl. That’s what Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi proved Saturday when the show’s cameras caught her at Miami’s Ocean’s 10. In a video posted to Radar Online, Polizzi can be seen reacting violently when a man leans in close for a quiet word. While his no-doubt provocative speech can’t be heard on tape, Polizzi’s response was crystal clear as she threw food, slaps and eventually a drink his way. The guy finally retaliated with a drink of his own before getting kicked out. … It may be hard to believe, but reality TV baddie Spencer Pratt isn’t the real villain of “The Hills.” That’s what one unnamed Pratt pal believes after hearing what went on the behind the scenes. “MTV has been asking (Spencer and wife Heidi Montag) to do inappropriate things for the show,” the friend told X17Online. “They've wanted Spencer to play up his aggressiveness for ratings, and he doesn't want to do it. For season five, MTV producers even asked Spencer to hit his own sister Stephanie.” But that, allegedly, was too low of a blow even for Pratt. … “The Biggest Loser’s” toughest trainer, Jillian Michaels, hopes to have a child one day but isn’t willing to risk her waistline. “I'm going to adopt. I can't handle doing that to my body,” Michaels revealed in a interview with Women’s Health magazine.

Tabloid Tidbits is compiled by Ree Hines. Follow her on Twitter and gab about gossip at twitter.com/ReeHines.