Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

An interesting poster

Man hurls prosthetic legs at state trooper

An Oregon man hurled both of his prosthetic legs at a state trooper, striking him with one, after his son was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, police said on Monday.

The incident on Friday began when the trooper stopped a sport utility vehicle going the wrong way on a highway in southern Oregon.

The trooper at first detained only the driver, Adam Kackstetter, 26, after he became aggressive. But then his father, Joel Kackstetter, 53, a passenger in the vehicle, grew hostile, a police spokesman said.

The senior Kackstetter charged at the arresting officer several times before the trooper knocked him to the ground, according to the police report.

"Passenger removed a prosthetic leg and threw it at trooper, hitting trooper in chest. Passenger removed second leg, threw it at trooper but missed," the report said.

The father and son face multiple charges including assault on a public safety officer. Article here.

This van is a tad over capacity

Cockroaches found in KFC sandwhiches

It was supposed to be a quick after school snack, but instead a family said it turned out more like a scene from an episode of "Fear Factor."

A family claimed it ate fast food sandwiches filled with baby roaches. However, the real debate began after the company quickly offered a cash settlement that Linda Watson said made her even angrier.

Watson said she drove up to a KFC drive-through window in Waxahachie and came home with the surprise. "They were all in the sandwich [and] they were alive crawling in the napkin," she said.Her daughter, Alicia Lewis, said she ate some of the food before she saw the roaches and what she ate made her sick. "I had diarrhea and it went on for two days," she said.

Watson kept the moldy evidence of baby roaches in her freezer, and said when she went back to complain she saw another live roach. Health department inspectors later found two dead roaches while inspecting the same location.

"[They were] not in the food prep area," said Sonny Wilson. "One was in storage [and] the other was up closer to the drive-through window."

A pile of letters at Watson's home document negotiations with the restaurant owner's insurance company and the Watson family after the incident. "First of all, they offered us $1,000 and I thought that was an insult for eating roaches," Watson said. She asked for $5 million and the insurer went up to $5,000.

While the company said they want to investigate and appease the customer, they also said they are investigating Watson as well.

One risky-ass-crazy stunt

Pay a guy to 'pee' your name into a mountain?

"I will pee your initials in the snow, hopefully on Alaska’s Mt. Denali (Mt. McKinley) up to 20,320 feet in elevation.

Here is the deal…The highest bidder will get their initials peed in the snow at their bid amount in elevation. Example, if your bid is $17,399 then I will pee in the snow at 17,399 feet on Mt. Denali. I will have a picture taken of your initials peed in the snow, a picture of my altimeter, a photo looking out towards the scenery from that spot along with a copy of my climbing journal, which will mention your name and this crazy event. I may also include additional photos of the adventure, photocopies of my receipts, etc. to provide you with more proof that I actually did this.

You are bidding on:

*A "bid elevation" for me to pee your initials in the snow.*Picture of your initials in the snow at the "bid elevation" e-mailed to you*Picture of my altimeter at the "bid elevation" emailed to you*Picture of the scenery at the "bid elevation" emailed to you*Copy of my climbing journal emailed to you

There will be a minimum bid of $7,200 to get me to base camp elevation on Mt. Denali. If I do not reach a minimum of $7,200, then I will choose a place of my choice in Alaska and climb to the "bid elevation" and do the deed and provide the same information as stated above.I'm really not sure if anyone in their right mind would pay this much money for a picture of their name in pee, but stranger things have sold on eBay for more money. Click here to see the actual eBay auction.

$173.50 fine for throwing lettuce out car window?

"Lettuce comes from the ground, therefore it can go back into the ground," she said. "It's biodegradable. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong."

Higgins said she took her daughters and a friend to the store, and they stopped at a McDonald's along the way. She said she pulled into a parking space to finish her meal but decided not to eat the half-dozen or so leaves atop her salad.

After failing to appear in court Dec. 22, Higgins discovered she had been convicted in absentia and owed the state $173.50. She has appealed to Northampton County Court, where she said she will call her children and their friend as witnesses.

She also plans to bring along a salad to show leaves to the judge. Article here.

Guy shocks women for fun accidentally kills her

Joshua Philip Martin was in his fourth day on the job as a rescue-squad worker in Russell County when, in a playful mood, he decided to reach into the front seat of the ambulance and zap one of his co-workers with the defibrillator paddles. The rookie's mistake was fatal.

Yesterday, in Russell Circuit Court, a judge convicted Martin, 25, of involuntary manslaughter, he likely will be sent to prison. He faces a maximum sentence of 10 years.

The victim went into cardiac arrest seconds after Martin placed the paddles on her chest and shoulder. Three days later, on June 4, she died.

"He was just playing around," Martin's aunt, Karen Martin, said. "Anybody who knows him knows this was not intentional."

If you read the full article you read about the fact the family protested saying that Josh is a great kid and that it wasn’t ‘intentional.’ The family argues that even though it was a prank, she’s still dead- and nothing can change that. I understand both arguments, and it’s hard for anyone to morally judge what is right/wrong in terms of his punishment. Read the full article here.

Caption this...

Overheard in the streets of New York:

Chick #1: Fucking shit, man, this bitch is kicking our asses!Chick #2: You just used four different curse words in one sentence.--Mark Lanes, Bay RidgeChick: You've had the greatest sex with me. Right?Guy: Yeah. I guess...

--Hi-Life, 83rd & AmsterdamBike guy: Hey girl, I really like your red hairChick: Yeah, me too. That's why I dye it. But I don't like it nearly as much as I like not being interrupted when I am tryng to talk to someone. --St. Marks & 3rd

How do you get a girl to like you? = Laughter

Two recent studies that confirm a long-standing stereotype of flirting: that women like funny guys, while men like women who laugh at their jokes.

Eric Bressler of Westfield State College, Massachusetts, and colleague Sigal Balshine of McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, did this by asking more than 200 male and female college students to examine photos of members of the opposite sex. Some had funny quotes pinned beneath them, such as: "My high school was so rough we had our own coroner." Others had bland ones: "I'd rather walk to school than take the bus."

Women ranked the humorous men as better potential partners, the researchers found - and as more friendly, fun and popular. Men's view of a woman, on the other hand, appeared to be uninfluenced by her wit.

What does this means for those seeking love? …it boils it down to a simple line of advice for the ladies: "If you're not interested in a guy then don't laugh at his jokes." Read the full article here.

The Beer Chart:

Highway cameras issue thousands of tickets

Photo enforcement cameras along a stretch of Scottsdale, Arizona's Loop 101 flashed thousands of drivers Sunday in a trial run of the nation's only digitally patrolled state freeway.

Officials couldn't say immediately how many of the 1,000 to 2,000 flashes caught actual speeders on Sunday, the first day of a month-long test which will result in only warning letters to lead-footed motorists. But beginning Feb. 22, drivers exceeding the 65 mph speed limit by 11 miles or more will be issued citations averaging $157.This f*ckin sucks! I’m really not sure what’s going to happen if they put these in place at major cities. Riots, protests, forums… probably none of the above. However, people are going to be really pissed. Article here.

The most kick-ass gun ever made...

The U.S. Army plans to test next month a SUPER GUN from a company appropriately called Metal Storm that can shoot 240,000 bullets per minute. The gun has no moving parts. Among its many tricks, the gun can actually shoot down enemy mortar fire. I want one.

1st comes love, then marriage, then comes...

The best time day/year to buy everything:

Air tickets:For all the seeming complexity that goes into the price of airfare, the answer to when some of the cheapest tickets can be found is surprisingly simple: Wednesday.That's when airlines release their available seats for the upcoming weekend and the weekend after, says Travelocity's Dominique Phillip.

Televisions:While the blowout sales on electronics tend to cluster around the holidays, even cheaper deals on TVs can be found in the spring beginning in April, according to Stephen Baker, who covers electronics for the marketing and research firm NPD.

Houses:It's best to bundle up when looking for the best deal on a house, as reduced demand and lackluster appearance can lead to a better deal in winter.

Cars:It's still true that good deals can be found in late summer/early fall, when carmakers release new models and dealers want to get rid of last year's leftovers.

But a good price may also be wrangled at the end of every month. That's because dealers are under pressure to book sales. If they exceed monthly sales targets set by the manufacturer, they are rewarded by getting more of the hotter, better selling vehicles the next month.

Toys:Before and, especially, after the holidays is obviously a good time for toys. But August is another promising month, according to Sheliah Gilliland, a spokeswoman for eToys.com. Gilliland says summer toys, like swimming pools and playground equipment, take up a lot of space and retailers are willing to let some things go for up to 65 percent off to make way for the holiday rush.

I want a dog like this...

Fortunately, Ramsey...

"Fortunately, Ramsey is often around to rescue her from repeated peril.1 Unfortunately, Ramsey won't even look at the script.2 Fortunately Ramsey has never had this problem.3 Unfortunately Ramsey drops this idea when dealing with those beliefs which are expressed in words.4 Fortunately, Ramsey will be spending the rest of his life.5 Unfortunately, Ramsey was sacked in his very first passing attempt.6 Fortunately, Ramsey is my backup.7 Unfortunately, Ramsey said that the mother of the three puppies was found to be suffering from an advanced case.8 Fortunately Ramsey couldn't hit any downfield tagets.9 Unfortunately, Ramsey is not a great chief.10 Fortunately, Ramsey suc- ceeded in spelling out the relevant points at the right.11 Unfortunately, ramsey makes use of the BA1404 in this unit as well."

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."