Thursday, 15 August 2013

Day 7 -

Day 7 - Has it only been a week??????

The day started out well, until, just after lunch, I was whisked away once more in the dreaded "Kah". The long legged monster from my nightmares was encapsulated with us in the vehicle - its great hulking mass nearly crushed me several times as the tattooed lady steered the vessel. I feared for my safety! Before long, we arrived at an expanse of open space, so absolutely enormous, it made my head spin! I had never experienced any space like this before - it was unnatural! I was just feeling comfortable with negotiating "the yard", and now ......this!!!!! This was so enormous - as far as the eye could see, not a fence in sight, not a building , no sidewalks, not a single retail outlet..... eeewwww ... my stomach turned with trepidation. I feared for my safety! I stared out at the vast greenness and tried to whisper to my companions NOT to follow the tall ones, but alas, we were bound, once again, by the dreaded splitter. Even the giant beast "Truffle" was tethered - these tall ones are truly diabolical.First we were forced to watch the tall ones eat, without a skerrick of food for us. I was so hungry - I'm always sooooo veeeerrrryyyyy hungry!!!!!! I found a stick - and yes - I am ashamed to admit - I ate it. Oh the humiliation of it all!

My humiliating meal - oh the shame of it all!!!

Then, Penny, and the monster played that idiotic game of "ball" where they chase the ball, and bring it back, they chase the ball, and bring it back ...... I was sooooooo bored! I just sat and watched. WHY do they do this??? Why????

The game works like this: Penny chases the ball, Truffle chases Penny, Penny brings the ball back, repeat ....

After a while I realised, that this was a place where other cruel captors brought their prisoners to humiliate them in the open with games like "ball" and "stick" and "romp" - Oh MY GOD! They tried to sniff my butt! I feared for my safety, but I soldiered on, all the while plotting another escape attempt. I was almost on the brink of freedom, when I realised I was attached to a great lanyard - where did this come from??? - stretching for miles it seemed. Cruelly, although my captors seemed to be far away, they were still firmly attached to me by this line! Drat! Another escape attempt thwarted.

Drat! I almost made it into the undergrowth!

I barked the command to the great buffoon, Truffle, to subdue the tall ones with a weapon it had found in the undergrowth. It seemed like I was getting somewhere now, the troops seemed to rally and both beasts ran towards the tall ones. Truffle made a vain attempt to beat one of them, but its efforts were greeted with laughter and derision. They stood around and taunted us with repeated words like "good girl" and "come" - they shout these ridiculous words to us all day long!

Truffle's futile attempt at subduing the enemy

To cap things off, they once again made us clamber up another great precipice. I could tell Penny was struggling - but my resolve is strong - I will survive - even in the face of this terrible torture they laughingly call the "dog park". We drag our weary bodies back to the "kah" only to be shackled together once more, for another harrowing ride back to the low abode. I did, however, manage to jump out of the vehicle myself, this time. There was no Alpha Male around to lift me, and the tall ones seemed to ignore my whining orders. Rank means nothing to these imbeciles!

The enormous hill - Penny even had to carry her own ball

Just when I thought that things could not get more horrific, I arrived back at the low abode just in time to witness a shocking sight. The wanton destruction of what appeared to be the tattered, broken body of a previous boot camp enlistee. The giant buffoon, Truffle, dragged its lifeless body around the low abode, tossing it into the air as if it were a toy! And to my horror, Penny joined in - they have truly been tortured to within the very brink of their sanity! Please, be aware, the image I am about to show is graphic in nature - not for the faint hearted.

All that remains of a previous boot camp enlistee - ooooh the humanity!

Mother, Father, please know that as I write this blog, I am thinking of you, and the thought of returning home from active service keeps me ....... what..... WHATTT!!!!....

WAIT! WHO PUT THAT IMAGE IN HERE!!!! I did NOT, I repeat I DID NOT, I NEVER..... NO , I never SNUGGLED with that Tattooed woman!!!! Who put that photo in here!!!????