Did you know that if you believe in universal health care, you believe in slavery? Well: It's true! Kentucky Senator Rand Paul said so during a Senate hearing today, and he is a doctor, so you'd better listen to him.

"With regard to the idea of whether you have a right to health care, you have realize what that implies," the senator said. "It's not an abstraction. I'm a physician. That means you have a right to come to my house and conscript me."

"It means you believe in slavery," Paul added. "It means that you're going to enslave not only me, but the janitor at my hospital, the person who cleans my office, the assistants who work in my office, the nurses."

Do you hear that? People who believe in universal health care are literally trying to enslave Rand Paul's janitor, and force him (or her) to janitize, for money, at the hospital where he (or she!) works. You know who else is being enslaved? Lawyers! Lawyers, everywhere, are being forced to defend clients because of the Sixth Amendment, also known as the "slave amendment." In Rand Paul's America, there will be no slaves, except for the people working to pay off their medical bills.