Tin Pot Planets and Jumped Up Leaders

“We don’t have time for problems Jenkins, we have a Universe to conquer. What’s the hold-up?”

“It would appear Earth’s leader is temporarily unavailable sir.”

“Unavailable! What is it with these tinpot planets and their jumped up rulers. If he’s not there get someone else to sign the papers.”

“I’m afraid we can’t do that sir. It has to be the Earth’s leader or the document is invalid. Intergalactic Commission Order No. 134531 states we cannot invade, occupy or destroy any known planet unless a treaty of surrender has first been signed by the legitimate leader of that said planet.”

“Damn the Commission and their bureaucracy! Have we any idea when this person will be available?”

“Apparently his diary is free all day Wednesday sir.”

“Better make an appointment for first thing then. And as soon as the damned document is signed Jenkins, I want this grimy little planet obliterated.”

“Yes, sir. In the meantime can I suggest we use this downtime to deal with Mars and Saturn. The paperwork has been cleared. We can easily destroy them both and be back in Earth’s orbit by late Tuesday.”

When I realised the invading aliens were bureaucrats I let out a sigh of relief, thinking the paperwork would distract them from destroying the universe. Alas, though, they seem to be a unique kind of bureaucrat – ones who actually finish what they started.
Can we slow them down by asking for a budgeted project plan?
Nice take on the prompt.

Very funny stuff. I love the idea of the aliens being tied down by a complex bureaucracy; although apparently theirs runs more quickly than the ones I’m used to. We’d better throw a wrench into the works pretty quickly!