At 77, Collins still strives to be gorgeous. And that Jennifer Aniston thing? She didn’t mean it.

You can’t have played Alexis Carrington, the bitch goddess of “Dynasty,” without giving considerable thought to glamour. Joan Collins certainly has. She shared a few of those thoughts recently with Britain’s Hello! magazine — only to have them come back to bite her.

And we’re not just talking about die-hard fans of Jennifer Aniston, whom Collins dismissed as “cute,” but hardly Ava Gardner-grade. Only Angelina Jolie, it seemed, was up to her standards of old-school glamour.

“I don’t think it’s fair to ask me who’s beautiful, because I’ll only get lambasted about it,” Collins says with a sigh. “I don’t want to open that can of beans again... I mentioned several people [to Hello!] and they chose not to put them in: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Megan Fox and Scarlett Johannsson — and this is just off the top of my head!”

For now, the 77-year-old siren has more on her mind than other people’s faces. Her own life, for starters — titillating tidbits of which she’ll recount, between film clips, in “One Night With Joan,” running Nov. 16-27 at Feinstein’s.

And what a life it’s been — rife with TV, film and stage roles, a legion of sexy leading men, onscreen and off (Warren Beatty was once her fiancé), and two best-selling memoirs, which probably gave her trash-eriffic writer sister, Jackie, some sleepness nights.

Along the way were five marriages, including what seems to be a very happy one to theater manager Percy Gibson, 32 years her junior.

And then, of course, there’s her beauty — something she attributes not to plastic surgery (she says she hasn’t had any), but to God-given luck and good grooming.

“I think that being born beautiful is like being born rich and getting poorer,” Collins has said before and says again now. “You really have to do everything you can, in terms of maintenance, to try to continue to be as good-looking as you can through your 40s, 50s and upward.

“I know women in their 80s and one or two in their 90s who still look amazing, and I think a lot of that has to do with being exquisitely turned out and groomed. I think that’s something to do as you grow older — not look sloppy.”

Sloppy, to her, is jeans and “a T-shirt with a slogan on it.” “That seems to be the uniform of a lot of the young in LA,” she says, again with a sigh. “Which is where I am now.”

In New York, where she also lives — when she’s not in Los Angeles, London or St. Tropez, her other home bases — the dressing is slightly better, she says. In fact, New York is home to what she calls her “favorite department store” in the world — Bloomingdale’s.

“It has just about everything, and there’s a wonderful lady there, Ivy Booksin, in the personal-shopping department. If you can’t find something, she will,” Collins enthuses. “Plus they have an adorable restaurant, Le Train Blue, which is where I take my little grandchild, Ava, for lunch.”

And yes, Joan Collins — mother of three, grandmother of three — likes to eat. She loves the smoked salmon and gravlax at Swifty’s — “it was named after the famous agent, Swifty Lazar, who was my agent” — and the humble eggs, pancakes and tuna-fish sandwiches at The Palace Restaurant on East 57th Street. (“I wish they had diners in London,” she says.)

Indeed, what dismays her even more than the sloppiness and the lack of glamour today is the emphasis — both onscreen and in magazines — on the “excessively thin.”

“I know a producer,” Collins confides, “who, when there were two actresses up for the same role, and one was a little heavier about the hips, was told ‘No, she’s too fat’ ” — even though the heavier woman was better in the part.

“I think it’s terrifying,” she adds. “And it’s impossible, if you’re over 25 or 30, trying to get down to be extremely thin.”

She still remembers the pain of slimming down for a film when she was in her 40s, when she subsisted on a meager 850 calories a day. “I can do it,” she says, grimly. “It’s a couple of boiled eggs, a tablespoon of tuna, quite a lot of lettuce and a tomato” — or “toe-mah-toh,” as the British-born star pronounces it.

Attached Files:

Joan set to return to Hollywood as part of Lohan biopic (dailymail.co.uk):

British model and heiress Lydia Hearst Shaw has just landed her first Hollywood acting role, playing a character based on Lindsay Lohan in a film that closely mirrors the troubled starlet's life.

Joan Collins will also star in the film called Dogs In Pocketbooks, as a high-powered Hollywood agent who struggles to find work for Hearst Shaw's character as she struggles with addiction, rehab, court appearances and the media, just like Lohan.

Collins, 77, told the New York Post she is looking forward to filming in Los Angeles and New York in February. 'The script is a hoot - a satire on the crazed hysteria surrounding showbiz celebrities. I'm playing an aggressive, sexy, powerful woman. For a change.'​