Sad state of affairs

Friday, January 18, 2013

Well Christmas was good. Afterwards My Dad called me and told me that the girls ( my nieces) didn't really want to be there that weekend. The only reason they came was because I was there. Which he might have been right but I was the one to make plans to get them. Plus I went and picked them up. He hadn't made plans to get them or pick them up. He was expecting their mother to come to him. Which is not going to happen since her and my brother are now divorced. On top of that my brother hasn't seen or spoken to the girls in the last 9 months. So there is no way he was going to bring the girls to my dad's house at Christmas.

My Brother not seeing the girls for 9 months is a whole other issue! Believe me I wish that I could kick his butt from here all the way back to Iraq. When he was over there I thought man he is missing the best part of his kids lives. Now I realize that where he was didn't make a difference to him. But like I said that's a whole other story.

So last Friday my Dad goes and picks up the girls because their mother has a doctors appointment. He tells me that girls didn't talk to Becky (my dad's new wife) at all and barley spoke to him. They just talked to each other. So he said he is done! He doesn't care if they talk to him or not he is not going to put forth an effort anymore. Which really makes me sad because he did this to his side of the family most of my life. I barley know my grandmother on his side because he pretty much disowned his side of the family. Now he is pretty much going to do that with his grandkids. I know if my mother was alive this would break her heart. Granted if my mom was still here it wouldn't have gotten this bad.

My Dad doesn't want me to get in the middle of this. But I feel like if I don't then I'm letting my mom down. They are just kids not to mention teenagers. They have lives of their own and they don't want to spend a whole lot of time with adults. At least not adults that are family. I told my dad he is the adult and they are kids. You keep trying you keep making an effort to show them that they matter. You never walk away like that. I agree some effort needs to come from them but to me you just don't walk away.

They have had so much change in their life in such a little bit of time. They were there with my mom right before she died. They stayed two weeks just like I did to be with her in the end. Then not even three months later their parents split up. Plus on top of that my dad starts giving away and taking out everything that belonged to my mother in the house. So the next time they come over it looks different and he is trying to move in one of his girlfriends. So they meet her as well! Right after all this went down. Then in April the divorce is final and my dad is going back and forth between women. They meet the one before Becky and then Becky. That's a lot of change a lot of change!! A grown person couldn't wrap their head around it and he expects them too. Not to mention they are still upset about losing my mother.

How can he expect kids just to move on? I'm 32 and barley moving on. I'm pretty much just putting on a front because he doesn't care how I feel. He just wants me to be happy for him and to not judge. So that's what I'm doing because I know he will write me off. Then I will be down two parents not just one. Though I honestly have to say it feels at times I'm already down two.

REENSKI
Stay in touch with the family you love. You are a good aunt to stay in touch with your nieces, they will appreciate it when they are older, and so will you.Sorry your father is being like that. 1855 days ago

UNICORN212
All I can suggest is be a good aunt to your neices. You don't have to involve your dad, but stay in contact with them, call and/or email them regularly, remember their birthdays, etc. All you can do is nurture *your* relationship with them. Other people's relationships with them are not your responsibility.

Rember, you can only be responsible for your own actions.1856 days ago