Music

December 15, 2014

Last week I attended a celebration of life service for a very special man. It was a sad, sad occasion. Even though it was stated by a family member that the service was to be a celebration of life, I didn't see anyone celebrating. I saw (and felt) sadness, grief, pain and loss. Even though I didn’t know the person well, I knew what a gifted individual he was. Listening to his friend share a tribute, a story unfolded of a remarkable individual who had been given a truly extraordinary gift…the sort of gift some compared to a renowned virtuoso. The speaker continued his tribute by saying “then life got in the way.”

As I drove back to my office, I noticed I had written “life got in the way” on the celebration of life leaflet. The words made me think of the countless number of clients I’ve met through nearly three decades in private practice – clients whose otherwise stellar careers were humming along until one day, life showed up and

…alcohol got in the way.

…bankruptcy got in the way.

…gambling got in the way.

…drugs got in the way.

…getting picked up one too many times for drunk driving got in the way.

…going to prison got in the way.

...getting kicked out of college got in the way.

…telling the boss to go "bleep yourself" got in the way.

…watching porn at work got in the way.

…performing unethical business practices got in the way.

…surrendering a professional license got in the way.

…falsifying credentials got in the way.

…embezzling got in the way.

..._________________ (fill-in-the-blank) got in the way.

As the New Year approaches, perhaps there’s no better time than now to consider what, if anything, I am allowing to get in the way of being my best self in 2015.

October 27, 2014

Watching a segment on 60 Minutes with Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters prompted me to write this blog post. As I watched the story, I heard myself shouting “yes, yes, yes!” when he was talking about doing something you love. And he happens to love music and that’s exactly what he does. He did music before he became a rock star and he still does music now that he is one.

I recall struggling years ago with what to do next in my career. I had a really good job, was making decent money and some thought I was one lucky duck. It wasn’t so much that I disliked my job; I simply did not want to do that job any more. Though others thought it was the perfect job for me, I did not.

The perfect job is one you like – not what someone else likes for you.

The perfect job is one that suits you best.

The perfect job is one that fits you well today – not yesterday.

The perfect job is one you think about with eagerness, optimism and enthusiasm, not dread, disdain and disenchantment.

The perfect job is one you can’t wait to get to on a daily basis.

I recall going to a recruiter when I was struggling with what was next for me in the world of work. I like recruiters. When I was looking for a job, I always had good luck with them. One day, the recruiter I was visiting asked me to come to work for him. I told him that while I appreciated his confidence in me, my heart was set on graduate school and starting my own business. It was also the preposition that made me pause…”I want you to come to work FOR me.” What I didn’t hear was “I want you to come to work WITH me.” For and with – two very different words with two very different outcomes.

And to this day, I still remember what he said next.

“Starting your own business is a very bad idea – you will fall flat on your face and then you will wish you would have gone to work for me.”

Right then and there as I left his office, I knew that no matter how long it took, how hard it was or the many challenges ahead, I knew with certainty what I was going to do.

If you are thinking about starting a business because that’s what is in your head and in your heart and you simply can’t stop thinking about it – pay attention.

You don’t need to wait for someone to give you permission to start a business. You give yourself permission. That’s it; that’s all. You do not need to latch on to someone else’s negativity – the someone who tells you what you can’t do. (I am not talking about all of the legal/accounting/compliance matters requisite to going into business – I am talking about finding the courage to go and do your own thing.)

And when and if you decide that being in business is not for you, so be it.

There’ll always be something else for you to do – have skills, will travel.

August 29, 2013

Do you recall when you first started dating? Regardless of the age, did your date propose marriage your first time out together?

Yes?

No?

Maybe?

When you go on a corporate date (job interview) are you contemplating an offer of marriage from the employer, or do you expect to find out a little bit more about the one you are with?

Maybe you have even compiled a list of qualities you desire in a job (or in a mate). I love lists – reading them, making them, modifying them. Somewhere in an old Gregg shorthand notebook, there is a list of specifications of the person I hoped I would one day meet and share my life with. I don’t need the notebook to recall the specifications I scribbled:

The next time you go on a job interview (corporate date), take a step back and decide that you will go to the meeting to share and to learn – no more, no less – and not to get married on-the-spot. Share something of value about your credentials and their relevance to the job. Freely offer information to make it easy for the recruiter or hiring manager to gain a quick snapshot of you, who you are and what you bring to the table. And while on your date, learn as much as you can about the organization, its people, products, services, mission, values, vision, etc. The more you know, the more you can make an informed decision regarding your future.

Maybe you will have a good time on your corporate date. Maybe your date will be horrible, terrible, awful, and totally suck. Maybe you will never hear from them again. Maybe they will never hear from you again. Brands attract. Brands repel. Some people will love you and your brand; other people – not so much. Just like dating.

If that corporate date doesn’t work out, no problem – back to the drawing board and on to the next. Job search – a whole lot like dating; you may have to go on many, many different corporate dates to find the right someone to marry.

You can go into a field and try to catch a horse and chase your horse all over the place and you’ll never get your hands on it. But if you go into a field and sit down on the grass, whoa! Probably within five minutes that horse will come to you. I think that’s how it is with people too. – Anjelica Huston

January 28, 2013

Over the week-end, I watched Searching For Sugar Man, a documentary about an extraordinary man named Sixto Rodriguez whose musical genius was unfamiliar to me, until now. If you have not seen the movie (awe-inspiring, amazing, intensely inspirational, remarkable, humbling, full of grace), perhaps you will find some time to run, don’t walk to do so. It will touch your heart and it will move your soul. Guaranteed. One of the songs from his Cold Fact CD is titled with these two simple words: “I wonder.”

And after listening to that song multiple times, I started wondering a whole bunch of things, including…why have I not written this post before? In my work with clients, I routinely hear a host of “I wonder” questions:

March 13, 2012

Are you watching The Voice? I love this show – not only do I enjoy watching the contestants, I really like the constructive feedback from Adam, Blake, Cee Lo and Christina. If by chance you are interviewing for a job, perhaps you will consider clearing your calendar on a few Monday evenings to tune in to this two-hour program. As silly as it may sound, I would even encourage you to take notes. Shown below are a few feedback examples from last night’s performances:

More emotion.

More heart.

More story.

Hungry for it.

Soul.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Don’t be too crazy.

Do not seem intimidated.

Love your style.

Love your energy.

Come out swingin’.

Be present.

Be here.

Focus on your own uniqueness without being in contrast to someone else.

Know your strengths and use them.

Will your next job interview warrant a four-chair turnaround?

Check out next week’s show – who knows, that little tip of free advice may be the very one to win you your dream job!

October 24, 2011

Are you looking for a job? Are you holding on to the job you have, yet can’t stand going to work? Did you get fired from your job recently? Have you been unemployed for two months or maybe even two years?

When I listen to people, be it my clients, a speaker, a colleague, a friend, or one of our children, I am always listening for the essence, the takeaway, the nugget of what they are saying. The other day, I was listening to a speaker talk about working things out, whatever it might be in life. And the main message I took away from his presentation: “We can work it out.”

What in your job search would be well, wise and worth it for you to work out?

Do you need to work out how you are going to pay your bills to keep things afloat until you can find new employment?

Do you need to work out how you are going to start that business you’ve always talked about doing?

Do you need to work out how you are going to interact with a boss or co-worker you do not like until you can find a new job elsewhere?

Do you need to work out how you are going to write a résumé when you have held seven different jobs in the past five years?

Do you need to work out how to speak about yourself and your brand before you go to market and explore new opportunities?

Do you need to work out how to stay motivated and energized, up and on after being rejected 15, 20, or more times?

Do you need to work out how to learn more about social media and how it could be another valuable tool for you?

Do you need to work out how to juggle unemployment and part-time work and who will watch the kids?

Do you need to work out how to talk to your spouse, partner or loved one how you’re going to ‘get through this’ together instead of apart?

Do you need to work out how you are going to explain to a Hiring Manager why you are between jobs?

Do you need to work out how you are going to tell your family that you are really struggling with being out of work?

Do you need to work out how to renew, rebuild and repair relationships with the people in your life who really matter?

Do you need to work out a way to forgive yourself, stop blaming yourself and resist the temptation of seeing yourself as a failure?

Do you need to work out a way to let someone know that you are sorry for what you said?

Do you need to promise yourself that you will do whatever it takes to hustle, to stay focused and to leave no stone unturned in making changes that need to be made to work out your life?

Do you need to work out in your mind and heart that you buy-in to the concept of we can work it out?

August 08, 2011

Endings Endings are hard. Endings are painful. Endings are not easy. Sometimes endings are bad. Sometimes endings make us mad or sad. Other times, endings make us glad. Endings make us uncomfortable. Sometimes endings are good. Sometimes endings bring welcome relief and help us breathe easier again. Sometimes endings need to happen, whether we like it or not. Sometimes endings challenge us to take a hard look at what’s important – what really matters. Sometimes we’d rather not deal with any part of endings. Endings.

Yesterday, I went to an auction. An accumulation of years and years of stuff was on display for all to see – and purchase! Among the many items for sale was my Grandmother’s piano – the piano I had ‘played’ when I was a little girl. As I stood there in the driveway looking at the piano, I heard my Grandmother’s voice from many years ago still teaching me …..’Every Good Boy Does Fine’. I played the piano chord I had played over and over as a little girl. I touched the keys for one last time. I thanked Old Piano for letting me play my off key creations which I am certain were not at all music to her ears.

Not far from the Old Piano was the round, beautiful oak claw-foot table I’d grown up with. How many conversations had taken place around her? How many cakes and pies and goodies and meals had it displayed? How many life changes and goals and wishes and dreams and heartaches had it been privy to? How many tears of happiness and sorrow had found a permanent resting place there? I took photos of the old oak table as I stood by her and thought about another time in my life. This day, though, I was saying good-bye to her for the very last time.

As a career management professional, I have coached, counseled, comforted, and consoled many, many people who have lost a job. Losing a job is tough. I know – I have lost one before! Losing a job is a mucky, sucky, yucky time when you find yourself in a sort of no-man’s land – that messy, clouded, confused , chaotic uncertain time between the old job and the new one you know nothing about. A time when you can’t go back, yet you have no idea how to move forward.

What I have learned time and again from clients regarding their job loss is this:

Change is certain. If you have never lost a job in your career, you are lucky.

Starting over is possible and doable if you choose to do so.

You can move on – it is not easy; you just keep telling yourself that you can and that you must and that you will do your best this day, tomorrow, and the next to put one foot ahead of the other and keep going forward.

Most likely, you can’t go back or get back what was – your old job.

Getting on with life after job loss takes tremendous self-care, courage and conviction.

Reaching out is much more effective than reeling in and pulling back.

Building a transition team of people who are invested in your career success makes good old-fashioned common sense. Teamwork works!

Remember the goodness in people and the good times you had in your job.

Celebrate the best of what was and move forward with an attitude of gratitude and believe that the best is yet to come.

Make some new music in whatever way you can. Even if it’s off key, maybe that’s better than not playing at all.

Create some new conversations and some new stories with people you have yet to meet.

Decide that you are going to spend more time looking ahead to your tomorrow’s than looking back on your yesterday's.

May 09, 2011

Though not on my bucket list, I liked loved going to Luckenbach, Texas! I had no idea what to expect, so I kept an open mind, grabbed my camera and headed out to this Texas hill country dot on the map.

My only frame of reference regarding Luckenbach was a song I recalled about Waylon, Willie and the boys. Upon arrival, my first encounter was with two roosters (shown here), a Texas longhorn and a host of Harleys. That said, I felt comfortable and found my way to fit in with a multi-generational (did I say Boomers?) crowd, especially when I saw this t-shirt: Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach.

Fitting In!

Fitting in! It's a big deal, especially when you are looking for a j-o-b. As you explore potential career possibilities, do your best to find a good fit. Employers evaluate any number of variables regarding an applicant's candidacy and a significant one is this: Is this person a good fit? Ask yourself the same question: Do I feel like I belong here? Is there a good fit for me here?

In the general store (gift shop?) as I paid for my purchases in the Nut Department (please see image), the cashier told me she was the chief psychiatrist for said area which leads me to my next point:

Have Some Fun!

Whether you are looking for a job, have a job, or want to change jobs, try to have some fun carrying out your day-to-day activities. What one thing might you do to have some fun for free as you experience the job search process? Laughter is free; a sense of humor is free; a smile is free. Use these free gifts to your competitive advantage as you explore new career opportunities.

And last, and not least -- just like the t-shirt suggests:

Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach!

And to this thought I would add, everybody is somebody right where you are, whether you are in Luckenbach, Los Angeles, London or Lima!

...so baby, let's sell your diamond ring

Buy some boots and faded jeans and go away

This coat and tie is choking me

in your high society you cry all day

We've been so busy keepin' up with the Jones

Four car garage and we're still building on

Maybe it's time we got back to the basics...

~ a few lyrics from the song, Luckenbach, Texas, co-written by rock and soul producer Chips Moman and keyboardist Bobby Emmons.

April 04, 2011

FAQ from #jobseekers: "How do you ever know what to say on Twitter?" #jobhunt #outplacement #careers #Twitter #in

While I don't have a specific answer, I do have a general idea that may help you, if you are a brand new contributor to Twitter, or you are thinking about signing up for Twitter. Perhaps a few of these ideas (tweets) stated below will help you get started and keep going as U tweet away from this day 4ward!

Think about a subject of interest that you want linked with your name and your brand.

What do you know about that you could freely (passionately/interestingly) share w/others?

In as few words as possible, write a thought to create one 'practice' tweet.

Tweak your thought (tweet) until it's about 120 of the 140-character limit.

Try 'trial tweets' of 25 or so to build confidence before you click on Tweet.

March 29, 2011

Job seekers, pretend for a moment that you are completing an application and it states that you must complete the following question and submit it with your resume, cover letter, references, and salary history.

Here's the question:

What is your je ne sais quoi?

Yesterday, I was sharing this French word with clients based on a very interesting story I'd heard on a morning radio program. For the sake of this post, let's give this term an English translation:

~ What is 'that certain something' you have that makes your brand distinctive and attractive?

~ What is the 'indescribable quality' you possess as a job candidate?

~ What 'charm' or 'indefinable enchantment' do you possess that is simply hard to explain?

Bottom line, what might you offer in response to the employer's query? Something to think about as you consider your je ne sais quoi.

Au revoir!

P.S. Homework Exercise: To best serve you, your brand and your chances of getting hired faster, please take the time to formulate rock-solid answers to the above questions.