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I have tried to start close to a dozen posts over the last week or so and they don’t get very far.

It isn’t that I have writer’s block as the ideas are readily there. It is more that my brain just can’t put them into any semblance of order. The reason is, and I really hate to admit this, I am in a deep and dark depression.

There are events that have added to this (the 24th and 5th anniversaries of my Mother and Father’s passing, respectively), but I believe the real source is that I have just been dealing with too much pain for way too long.

While I have had small bouts of depression, and even hypomania (a lesser form of mania), I thought I was immune to it. I thought I had my emotions under control and was stronger than any mood swing that could ever come…

My daughter and I definitely have it and I worry about symptoms I often see in my son. Hopefully he is just having similar symptoms.

The daughter with Fibro also has all of my other awful disorders and lots of pain besides the new pain from the accident at work where the cabinet fell off the wall and injured quite severely her hand and arm. They still don’t know what the problem is and she is dealing with workman’s comp and a lawyer.

The Winter Olympics are just about over and I have been enjoying many of the events from the relative comfort of my recliner.

In a few weeks, Korea will be hosting the Paralympic Games for athletes with various physical abilities. These games are just as challenging as the original games and the athletes are just as talented as their able-bodied counterparts.

I got to wondering what the games would look like for those of us with chronic health problems. I am not talking tongue in cheek here so please bear with me for a bit.

First of all, each participant would be given a gold medal for taking part in the games. After all, that is sometimes more than we can handle. All medals would be gold because of the great effort competing would take.

We’re only in the second month of the year and so far it’s been a series of challenges, some small, some large. Since I become consumed with all things garden this time of year, my thoughts automatically turned to the parallels between all these challenges and the compost piles we gardeners love so much.

Sometimes when things are difficult, it’s easy to feel as if everything is going wrong, that things are just piling up, and that they’re never going to get better. Frankly, sometimes I feel as if I’m sitting in a compost pile. Now, if you’re a gardener, you probably understand immediately what I’m talking about, but if not, let me tell you a little bit about how compost is made.

Compost is made up of all the cast-offs that you don’t want anymore: coffee grounds, food scraps (not meat or dairy), dried leaves, straw, yard clippings….you get…

“The Bible says to “guard our hearts with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life”. This may seem very vague as there is no outline as to how to guard it…no series or steps and definitely no recipe as to how to produce the desired result. This results in individuals taking the scenic route of various trial and error processes and if we learn from these “trial and error” then we become that much wiser and cautious to following this advice. We eventually learn that when this advice is not keenly adhered to then indelible impressions are etched on our person. It for this reason that I write and pour out the issues within. 11/13/16”

You can find the rest of Dr. R.A.’s story on her page. Her logo is in my sidebar and on the Partners’ Page at the top of my website! When you visit be sure to tell her Danny sent ya!

Bankruptcy is ongoing. All these holidays putting things off. I have given two banks the lawyers info.

My Amazon account was hijacked. Doesn’t look like anything was purchased. They got in and changed my email address and password. Their computer techs were able to lock my account and sent me to a page to change it. Canceled any orders if there were any that weren’t processed. Recent viewings weren’t mine. Seems to be changed now and working under my email address.

I couldn’t have my last lumbar epidural so just was able to schedule one for 4 weeks, The pain is tremendous. Have no choice but to wait. Hopefully won’t have to cancel this one.

In one of the several FB groups I belong to, the question was asked, “What is one thing (or more) you are thankful for this holiday season?

I listed a couple of things; however, since then I have come up with more so I thought I would share them here. Unlike the song that inspired the title, this is not a list of what I want, but rather what I already have and am thankful for.

Our new place with its beautiful view and a ton of natural light, which helps my depression. I never wanted to live in a condo again; however, I can’t think of anything wrong with this place. I have felt healthier and happier in the seven months we have been here.

Our new pup, Miley. It is so great watching all of her “firsts” like snow, the cat, playing in the dog park. Yes, I…