SINISTER
WHITE POWDER. Teresa Nielsen Hayden reports a recent
NYC subway trip that was mightily delayed because someone had dropped a
powdered-sugar-coated doughnut on the platform. Michael Swanwick, whose
wife works in a state Bureau of Labs, provides the inside information
that 'Most of the powder sent in to be tested, incidentally, turns out
to be cocaine.' Meanwhile, a jiffybag leaking fine white grains arrived
at Ansible HQ and proved to be a gift packet of sweets from an
interviewer, 'Cosmic Flying Saucers filled with Sherbet Moon Powder' – or rather, thanks to some postal worker's massive boot, no longer
exactly filled....  And a Happy New Year to all of you.

Ray
Bradbury Day was Friday 14 December, declared his long-time
fan Mayor James K. Hahn of Los Angeles (Bradbury's home since 1936).
Will weather reports confirm that this was the day it rained forever?

Arthur
C. Clarke is telling correspondents about his accidental sf
prediction at the start of Rendezvous with Rama (1973). Although
the year is 2077, the place Italy and the method a natural meteor
impact, his own huge disaster does indeed happen on 11 September. [BR]

Harlan
Ellison notes that his sf awards 'pale into insignificance
before the singular fact that I am the author of the longest running
serial in the history of science fiction. It's been going since
1956....' The latest episode of !Nissassa is in the 2001 issue
of Lee Hoffman's Science-Fiction Five-Yearly (founded 1951),
guest-edited by Geri Sullivan, Jeff Schalles and the late Terry Hughes.
'Fifty years? That's not too many.'

Philip
José Farmer, who is 83, is recuperating at home after a
stroke suffered in mid-December. Complete recovery is hoped.

Mike
Moorcock, like everyone else except your editor, went to the
movies: 'I actually saw Lord of the Rings (en famille – that
is, the nieces and in-laws watched, Linda snored gently through most of
it, to wake up occasionally to utter a snort of irritation, and I had to
leave twice in spite of me bad legs, just to get away from the boredom.
Wow). Okay, Mr Langford, ask your readers this – since Prof Tolkien
pooh-poohed most science fiction for not being logical in its
world-building, especially its languages, of course, and since he swore
that this was not a post-holocaust fantasy, how come these early
industrial revolution kulaks, with sophisticated metal working skills,
gunpowder, focussing lenses and advanced printing methods, couldn't make
one simple fucking cannon and blow the bad guys off their keeps in a
trice? Jesus, they could put an intercontinental ballistic missile
together with the resources I spotted in hobbitville without even
thinking about it, since my eye kept wandering off the leprechauns and
wizards. [...] It's the last fucking unicorn opera I watch in a long
while. Frankly, Star Wars was a lot more convincing and I
thought that was crap, too.'

Janet
and Chris Morris, former sf writers, have a US $9.5 million
defence contract to evaluate 'the use of nanoparticles to clear
facilities' of biological threats. Apparently the Morrises became
'leading authorities on nonlethal weapons, like high-powered microwaves,
pepperballs, and calming agents' after a former CIA deputy director of
intelligence read their 1984 novel The 40-Minute War and liked
it enough to recruit them as defence advisers. (Wired, Jan)
[MMW] We look forward to the equivalent of NASA spinoff technology, such
as nanoware that instantly clears bolognese sauce contamination from
one's shirt facility.

Publishers
& Sinners. On 4 December, Time Warner announced the
closing of its e-books division iPublish, several of whose dozen or so
titles were sf/fantasy. The e-books revolution is perpetually hailed as
about to be next year's great publishing success....

R.I.P.Sidney Leonard Birchby, UK sf fan and correspondent since the
1930s, 'died, aged 82, at home in Manchester on 29 December 2001 after a
short illness,' writes his brother John. Sid Birchby remembered the
fannish impact of the 1937 Leeds convention (which he missed) as 'like
thunder in the heavens'; he attended his first London Thursday fan
meeting in December that year, when the venue was a Lyons teashop rather
than a pub and Thursday was said to have been chosen because it was
editor E. John Carnell's weekly half-day off. [T1]  Dan
DeCarlo (1919-2001), the Archie Comics cartoonist who created
Sabrina the Teenage Witch, died on 18 December; he was 82. [PB] 
Jack C. Haldeman II (1941-2002), sf author since 1971, Joe
Haldeman's elder brother, and a popular figure at US conventions, died
on 1 January from complications of kidney cancer after entering a
hospice on 30 December. Jay Haldeman, as friends called him, was only 60
and is much missed. His most recent novel was High Steel (1993),
written with Jack Dann; they were working on a sequel.  Nigel
Hawthorne (1929-2001), UK actor famed as Sir Humphrey in the BBC-TV
Yes, Minister, died on 25 December aged 72. His sf movie credits
include the Judge Dredd clone Demolition Man (1993) and the 1981
film of Doris Lessing's Memoirs of a Survivor. He also had voice
roles in Watership Down (1978), The Black Cauldron
(1985), and Tarzan (1999). [SG]

As
Others See Us. '... most science fiction is closer in spirit
to astrology than astronomy.' Thus 'Bookworm' in Private Eye (28
Dec), slagging off J.G. Ballard's The Complete Short Stories.
[TA] The same review relocates the Golden Age of sf pulps: 'The early
stories generally aim no higher than they reach, which is the level of
pulp-magazines like Science Fantasy and New Worlds.'
Also, '"Why I Want To Fuck Ronald Reagan" seems oddly less
prescient now than when it appeared in an underground magazine in 1968.'
Well, what a surprise.

From
the Edge of Forever. Native American sf author Russell Bates,
who sold to The Last Dangerous Visions at age 29 in 1970, and
again in 1972, marked his 60th birthday last year by withdrawing both
stories for publication elsewhere. All this 'will be chronicled in a
science fiction short story, "The Lurker In The House At The Center
Of Infinity", to be published in 2002, wherein a writer/editor, "Elias
Halloran", is using a John Storer-like ethereal web to draw on the
creative juices and talents of all who were lulled into contributing to
a volume that never is published, and the house in question is so
microscopically arranged and calculated to be the drawing rune.
Unscramble "Elias Halloran" and you cannot make anyone else's
known and existing name from it.'

Small
Press. Ben Jeapes of Big Engine has plans to launch a new
British sf magazine. A fresh challenge for Mr Pringle's Interzone?
Ben muses on titles: 'I thought Eat Dirt, Pringle might strike
the right balance between hostility and friendly challenge ... though
he's seen so many of the opposition come and go, I doubt he'll lose much
sleep.'

Random
Fandom.Eileen Gunn was jet-setting in December: 'Just
back from Moscow, a bit jetlagged, and quite surfeited with caviar and
vodka. Moscow is so much cheerier now than on previous visits.
I'd have bet against the Russians, however jolly they might feel inside,
learning to smile, but it's happened. And there's a shopping explosion
– these are a people with world-class shopping skills, honed over 75
years of deprivation, so don't get in their way.'  Paul Rood
spied on a celebrity signing tour: 'Random Shopper 1, spotting
all the signs and the big queue snaking around the block: "Terry
Pratchett? Who's he, then?" Random Shopper 2: "Oh, you
know, he's quite famous – he's the guy who wrote The Hobbit".'
 M.J. 'Simo' Simpson is to write Douglas Adams's biography
for Hodder & Stoughton, with a tight July 2002 deadline. 'Adios, day
job!' Ansible readers with relevant anecdotes (e.g. meeting
Adams at Seacon '79 or Hitchercon 1) are urged to contact
mjsimpson@btinternet.com. Fanzine interviews are also sought.

Thog's
Counterfactual Masterclass.Fay Weldon hints that
she's from a alternate 20th century: 'Or, as Winston Churchill would say
– himself the son of a love-and-money match between an English Lord and
an American heiress – "up with which in the end everyone would
have to put". It is a truism – at least to my generation – that
Churchill sent back for re-writing memoranda containing sentences which
ended with prepositions.' (Letters to Alice: On First Reading Jane
Austen, 1984). [YR]

In
Typo Veritas. '... the sea boiled, great birds spat fire from
the sky, and metal breasts rose up from the waves and destroyed the
harbours.' (Samuel R. Delany, The Jewels of Aptor, Gollancz 2001
ed) [CD]

Award
Stuff.The BSFA Award has a new category: Writing
About SF. Critical articles, essay collections/anthologies, and complete
books are all eligible. Nominations (BSFA members only) close 31 Jan.
2001 works so far nominated are Stephen Baxter's BSFA-published
collection Omegatropic and, mysteriously, Terry Pratchett:
Guilty of Literature from 2000. [M]  The Hubbard Award
was announced as a special ConJosé Hugo rewarding 'outstanding
achievement in presenting science fictional concepts as fact to the
general public' – to be given to Whitley Strieber for unforgettably
linking the phrase 'alien contact' with 'rectal probe' and so setting
back the SETI movement by fifty years. Yes, it's all a joke from a
satirical web
site; but the Hugo administrators were still alarmed by e-mail
requesting seat reservations for the Hubbard presentation. [KS] Next,
Retro Hubbards for past egregiousness?  New York Times Notable
Books of 2001: Liz Williams's The Ghost Sister was listed in
the sf section, quite a coup for a first novel by a Briton.  The
Blue Peter Books of the Year are chosen by a jury of children from
adult-prepared nominations. Farah Mendlesohn on the 2001 selections: 'It
turned out to be a good year for sf with all but one of the major awards
going to sf/fantasy (Best Book to Read Aloud was Alan Aldberg, The
Bravest Ever Bear). Best Book I Couldn't Put Down: William
Nicholson, The Wind Singer. A Special Book to Keep Forever:
Geraldine McCaughrean, The Kite Rider. Book of the Year: The
Wind Singer. Books of All Time: 1 Harry Potter and the
Philosopher's Stone (Rowling was the only author not to turn up to
collect her award); 2 Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson; 3 Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory; 4 Northern Lights; 5 The
Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.... Of all the books listed for
the three judged awards, eight out of fifteen were sf or fantasy.'

Quotable.
Terry Pratchett updated an old saying while appearing on the South
Bank Show: 'At 17, if you don't think Lord of The Rings is
the greatest contribution to literature there's something wrong with
your head. If you still think that at 50, there's definitely something
wrong with your head.'

Faster
Than Lawsuits. Wendy Graham, editor of the sf webzine FTL
at ftlmagazine.com, is having full
and frank discussions with the new FTL Science Fiction at
ftlscifi.com. The latter may change
its name.  Meanwhile, what of David Leddick's novel The Sex
Squad (1999)? As the blurb tells us, 'In the 1950s, seventeen year
old Harry Potter moves to Greenwich Village, NY, to pursue a career as a
ballet dancer. [...] Torn between passion and his true love – dancing
– Harry must come to a decision about whom he loves, who he is, and
what he is willing to sacrifice for the world of ballet.' [DK] Changing
the era to the 1950s and Quidditch to ballet surely won't deceive J.K.
Rowling's lawyers for long.

Fanfundery.
Chris O'Shea is said to be intending to stand against Tobes Valois for
the westbound TAFF race to ConJosé this year. [PNN]

End
of an Era.The Skeptical Inquirer (Jan/Feb 02) reports
that Martin Gardner, scourge of pseudoscientists since 1952, has decided
at age 87 to stop writing a column for every issue of SI (odd
articles may still appear). Can I keep up my current columns until 2040?
H'mm.

Outraged
Letters.Martin Abela felt Ansible should have
run an obituary of George Harrison (1943-2001): 'Without George, Monty
Python's Life of Brian would never have been made. The Python boys
were in pre-production when some film studio Taliban-type decided that a
humorous film about a man whose life echoed that of Jesus Christ's was
too dangerous to be made. George decided he wanted to see the movie, so
he talked to his business manager and founded his production company
Handmade Films to secure the funding for Life of Brian. We owe
George a debt of gratitude just for that one film. Handmade went on to
produce many other fine films including the fantasy classic Time
Bandits.'  Sir Arthur C. Clarke makes his bid for
fame: 'Herewith my modest contribution to Thog's Masterclass. "You
cad!" she hissed. Try it sometime!' Thank you, Sir Arthur, but
where's the attribution and date on which Thog insists? Is this from
2001?  Mike Moorcock yet again: 'I am now being
paid in Exocets by Orion, who, of course, are owned by the same company
that gives us the Exocet (Hachette etc). I pushed my advance up to three
rockets per launcher. Cash isn't going to be much use in our coming
economy. What are the Sussex Downs like for cave systems?'

Signs
of the Times.Richard Bleiler was reproved by a
copyeditor for an article on John W. Campbell Jr that used the phrase
in parvo: 'The only reference to "parvo" in Webster's
10th is the contagious canine disease.' This from the once great Oxford
University Press.

The
Dead Past.20 Years Ago: our first Thog's Science
Masterclass? 'Looking on the bright side, snow does bring some benefit
to the garden. As it melts it undergoes a molecular transformation which
produces deuterium oxide, better known as heavy water. This has a very
stimulating effect on plant life.' (Evening Post Advertiser,
cited in Ansible 23, Jan 1982)  30 Years Ago:
'Professor Tolkien was 80 earlier this month and, not unsurprisingly,
articles have been appearing thick and fast.' (Peter Roberts, Checkpoint
14, Jan 1972) Anyone remember Professor Tolkien?  36 Years
Ago. Tolkien gave his first major interview (which was also one of
his last) to a news-stand magazine, whose editor still has a very
special feeling for him: Michael Moorcock's New Worlds 168
(1966). [Now on line at Fantastic
Metropolis.]

Thog's
Masterclass.Dept of Nose Jobs. 'A thick branch
crashed through the tunnel, just missing Filidor's nose, and he
carefully sliced it away before resuming his slow upward progress.'
(Matthew Hughes, Fools Errant, 1994) [BED]  'As his eyes
continued to sweep over her, he noted the lean, elegant, body; but from
the smallish hips and waist there grew a breadth of shoulders that
suggested exceptional physical strength.' (David Baldacci, The
Winner, 1997) [DB]  Dept of Pop Science. 'On this
planet, the force of gravity was so immense – a hundred times greater
than that of earth – that a man on its surface would have weighed ten
tons and been unable to lift his eyelids. Under these conditions, the
only intelligent life form to develop consisted of giant globular
creatures, which on earth would have been called vegetables.' '... when
a spider dies, its body turns into a lower form of life called a squid
fungus – an octopus-like invertebrate that was fairly harmless to
adults, but which loved to suffocate and consume sleeping children.'
(both Colin Wilson, Spider World: The Magician, 1992) [BA]

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Fast Lane. The pace of modern net communications was well
illustrated when in September 1999 I electronically asked Erik Arthur of
Fantasy Centre if he'd like their new e-address listed in Ansible,
and in December 2001 his e-mailed reply said Yes. See above....

A Word From Our Sponsor. Ben Jeapes, being my publisher, makes
a seasonal offer I can't refuse to run: 'All Big Engine orders received
before the end of January will be delivered post-free. This is a
somewhat liberal interpretation of "Christmas" but I think
that if I work to the Armenian Christmas, plus the Armenian 12 days,
plus VAT, then I can just swing it.'
http://www.bigengine.co.uk/