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Thank you for writing! As you probably realize, we get millions of letters just like this one every day, and it's just impossible (even for an omnimpotent deity like Myself) to answer every one personally.

We'd like you to know that we here in the Eternal Kingdom Of HeavenTM appreciate your blind faith and your fanatical adherence to the One True ReligionTM. Willfully ignoring science, claiming moral superiority, and looking down on queers isn't easy, we know, but we know you're up to the task. After all, you know what's in store for you if you don't! *Ahem*

In any case, if you have questions about the evil in the world, religious hypocrisy, moral ambiguity, or any of the other burning questions I've refused to answer for millennia, please bring them up in your nightly prayers. I'll get back to you real soon!