Monday, February 13, 2012

I know, i know. i have already posted about Valentine's day. BUT. It is one of my most absolute favorite holidays on the face of this country! why, you ask? well, as you might have been able to tell from my previous status, I do not have "that someone special" who buys me 2,000 calories worth of Hershey's assorted-flavors-most-of-them-taste-like-unidentifiable-imitation-fruit chocolates. I DO however have a pair of rockin' pink sunglasses that my mother (who takes pity on me) got me, and two very special valentines. Ben and Jerry.

Actually, i just love Valentine's day because it reminds couples to show their affection, and how much they really DO love each other.

...........................

also, it gives me an excuse to pamper myself outrageously.

picture this.

old, stained, yet clean and dryer-smelling sweats paired with a random t-shirt from a poorly publicized event that no one really remembers. toss in a little music, a little dancing by yourself, and a little slacking off homework (just kidding, mom) and you've got yourself one heck of a just-you valentine's day.

but wait! there's more! we haven't even come to the main event! It's now time for the cheesy, overdone, fall-back-on-this-if-all-else-fails part! the watching of the chick flick!

O.K. now this is a SERIOUS THING.

you can't pick a film that was obviously made in a couple months, relying on an all-star cast to make up for the lack of plot and poor dialogue. (sadly there goes "Valentine's Day," "Dear John," "The Last song" and many others)

you also can't pick one that doesn't actually have a happy ending (think "My best friend's Wedding")

Another tragic mistake is choosing a film that you have seen recently, or just too many times. sadly, this rules out some of the BEST CHICK FLICKS! for me, i can't watch "The Princess Bride," "Enchanted," "She's The Man," "Sydney White,"..............and an assortment of others. now, you might be tempted to just pop one of these in the VCR (do those still exist?), but trust me. you can't enjoy even a TOP NOTCH chick flick if you can quote it be heart. in your sleep. upside down. underwater. (although if you are underwater, you have bigger problems than what line comes next)

the next tip is optional, because sometimes you can pull it off. but as a general rule, don't go to the theater to see a movie. all the other pity-party-of-one's will be there sniff sniff sniffling into their pocket size kleen-x. also, it will be packed, parking will be a nightmare, and you'll have to stand outside in the cold to buy your tickets.......no bueno.

instead, why not spend it chillin like a villain, in your own swankified basement? mani-pedi's are a must. and facials. (even you, boys. no one can tell that you had one, but your face is baby-smooth)

there you go. why i love Valentine's day so much. who needs boys when you have YOU?!?!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

So I was eating some Dove chocolate (like one does when valentine's day draws near) and on the inside of the wrapper, instead of saying "You're Beautiful" or "Live Your Dreams" as per usual, it said "Be Your Own Valentine."

ouch.

apparently even nationwide companies know that I'm all by my wonesome this valentine's day.

well Dove, you have inspired the following poem by Hope, your favorite random customer.

I'll tell me "I love you"and hold my own handI'll buy us one ticketto see a good band