I know a place, where everybody "goes"
It's called the biffy and you'd better hold your nose!
It's sitting in the meadow beside a clump of grass,
You'd better watch where you sit or you might get a rash!
After the meals, and all the dirty dishes
It's the place that everybody wishes
To be, To be, the biffy's here for you and me!

#2: Latrine

L - A - T - R - I - N -E
That is where I long to be
Rather than in fields of corn,
In bushes, or in shrubbery.

L - A - T - R - I - N -E
That's the place for me to be
I sit upon the broken seat
And try to keep my blue jeans neat

L - A - T - R - I - N -E
That is where they have T.P.
Rather than a dirty leaf
What a way to find relief!

#3: To the tune of "White Christmas"

I'm dreaming of a flush toilet,
just like the ones we have at home.
With a silver chain,
and a proper drain,
and somewhere for it all to go.

#4: To the tune of "Tiptoe through the
tulips"

Tiptoe through the tentpegs,
Through the tentpegs
To the lavatory,
oh tiptoe through the tentpegs with me.

The Happy
Wanderer

I love to go a-wandering
Along the mountain track,
And as a go I love to sing,
My knapsack on my back.