Oh, But Wait, Keri…

Michael ArceneauxMarch 6, 2013

Hey Keri:

Whenever I think about your Twitter mentions, I hear the voice of Marion Gilbert (as played by the divine Diahann Carroll) shouting “DIE! JUST DIE!” at Dwayne Wayne after he interrupted Whitley’s wedding to Byron Douglas to declare his lingering love for her. That’s pretty much a request a sizable group of your online detractors asks of you every other tweet. Suffice to say, I can see why you’ve reached your breaking point (See what I did there? You’re welcome.) and started openly complaining about strangers demanding that you fall into a tar pit.

Those folks are dead wrong for such cruelty, but before we get to them, let us reflect on how your pettiness helped cause this problem.

You already know about the “Turnin’ Me On” remix where you not so subliminally dissed Ciara and Beyoncé, though you claim you didn’t mean it nor was it your idea. Well, whose idea was it to throw in your little digs and insinuations elsewhere? Say, your VIBE cover story where you talked about walking around the Morehouse/Spelman Homecoming without an entourage and security. What was your point in saying “I mean, can you imagine Beyoncé doing this?” as if you didn’t already develop a reputation for hating the ground she twerked on?

By the way, to answer your question, no we can’t once you take her level of fame into account. If Tito Jackson can understand this about Michael, you should grasp that about Beyoncé.

But let you tell it, it’s the fault of bloggers and the gullible fools who read them for believing everything they half-read and see online. God bless you and all that, but this is more like your big mouth than anything resembling the myth of Big Foot.