My brother Alex has a history of getting me very thoughtful, very magical gifts. Christmas last year? A real, ceramic ocarina with a songbook from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It’s truly a work of art. Granted, I never even got the hang of a recorder, so it serves as decorative piece to show how cultured and cool I am ;) and less of a true musical instrument. For my birthday? Lucius Malfoy’s walking stick. Pull on the silver cobra head at the top of the staff and — voila— the magic wand is revealed. It is of the utmost quality and is a legit weapon. I keep it near my front door so that a) all guests may admire it and b) it’s close at hand to battle potential hot prowlers.

And so, Christmas 2014. What would young Alex surprise me with now?

This.

Christian Louboutin / Rouge Louboutin nail varnish.

Check out that black on black packaging with a saucy wink of red. Ooh la la!

The faceted bottle is very beautiful, and it’s even got some ombre shading, too.

The iconic Rouge is encased in a faceted, weighted glass bottle with an unique ombré effect. The tall slender cap, inspired by calligraphy, turns the application into a luxurious experience, inviting women to take their time.

A true indulgence at $50 for one bottle. Yowza! The color is richly red. It’s not quite a true red; it veers on the warm side. The application was great, and the brush made for a very different painting experience. It wasn’t necessarily unwieldy, but it definitely felt unusual. They say that in Roman times, patrician women would dip the tips of their fingers in bright red dye. This was called their domestic look. I felt a little like that; the paint job felt ritualistic in some way.

The spiked handle of this polish is sarcastically large. It’s 8″ (or so it SAYS, hahahah). My friend told me it looks like dark magic; like you have to stab the spike into someone’s still-beating heart and the spike sucks the blood out, and then that’s what you paint your nails with. This bottle, combined with my Lucius stick, means I am at least 80% real sorceress.

So then of course I ordered sangria after she told me that. It means blooooood en español.

Legend has it that Christian painted the soles of a high heel he was designing with red nail polish on a whim. That moment of inspiration helped him make a name for himself in fashion, and now his iconic rouge lacquer serves as the first brick in the beauty product empire that he’s aiming to build. It’s poetic.

Christian Louboutin Rouge will sit in a place of honor, on top of my Stash; partly because it can’t fit with the rest of my bottles, but also because it is a goddess among mortals.