Shocked into Silence

Responding to the horrific murder of Leiby Kletzky.

I was in the unenviable position of having to inform my wife that they found the body of Leiby Kletzky. Her face turned white.

"What happened to him?"

I was silent. I could not bring myself to describe the horrific manner in which this innocent child was brutally murdered. By a Jew. The words, even if whispered in a hushed tone, could not leave my mouth.

"Worse than anything you can imagine… I can't talk about it."

I wasn't the only one who was shocked into silence. The most prevailing response in the 2000 plus comments expressing readers' condolences from around the world was "there are no words." It felt as if the Jewish nation was rendered speechless, reeling from a punch in the gut, unable to grasp such incomprehensible horror.

Our silence in the face of tragedy is reminiscent of Aaron's response to the sudden death of his two sons, budding leaders of the Jewish people, who were cut down in the prime of life. "And Aaron was silent" (Leviticus, 10:3).

Aaron's silence was borne from a total acceptance of Divine will, despite his enormous loss. Our silence, at least in part, stems from denial, the first instinctual response that provides a modicum of safety that our world can remain the same, kids can go to camp unharmed, our Jewish neighborhood is a haven of basically good people. If we don't talk about it, we can push away the weight of grief and horror.

But perhaps the universal reaction of silence hints to something else, something that goes to the core of what it means to be human.

When God creates man, fusing the dust of the earth with the breath of life – a soul, the Torah says "and man became a living soul." The translator Onkelos interprets "living soul" to mean a "speaking spirit." It is our unique ability to speak that makes us truly human. Speech is the bridge that joins the world of thought to the world of action, where heaven meets earth, where the spiritual and the physical – the body and the soul – come together to create the inherent tension point of free will.

Being exposed to unimaginable brutality, graphically described in the reports of Leiby Kletzky's murder, affects us. Evil that had previously not been a part of our world crashes through our psyche's door and penetrates our soul. It chips away at our humanity, leaving us numb to the core. How can any human being commit such crimes?

The result is that we are struck dumb. Speech, the defining characteristic of being human, "goes into exile" as the Kabbalists describe it, because our humanity is shaken. We are less human.

Witnessing such horror and debasement, we have been shocked into silence. But we dare not remain silent.

The last few days I've been walking around in a fog of sadness and grief, as if I have suffered a personal trauma. And I know so many others feel the same.

The Sages of the Talmud tell us the "silence is tantamount to admission." If you don't agree with a proposition or accusation leveled at you, say something. Otherwise your silence speaks volumes.

Witnessing such horror and debasement, we have been shocked into silence, feeling that there are no words, only tears. However, we dare not remain silent. When our speech is in exile, when our humanity has been weakened, we need to do something to restore our humanity, to restore our speech. We need to strengthen and elevate our humanity by activating our souls.

The Talmud (Sotah 2a) instructs one who has witnessed a person accused of immorality to take an extra stringency upon himself in that area, to actively distance himself further from evil, even though he himself has not engaged in any sinful act. Since his reality has been expanded to include something so negative and destructive, he must work on increasing the positive forces in his life to restore the balance.

The word 'mitzvah' (commandment) shares the Hebrew root 'to connect' – mitzvot are the avenue to transcend the physical, remove ourselves from the churning storm of evil, and re-attach ourselves to God and to what is good and true in the world.

I can leave the fog that is encasing me when I reach out to give my children an extra hug, when I choose to be patient and caring, when I choose to get out of my own petty concerns and think about others. Instead of only reeling from this horrific tragedy, let's work to channel our pain and shock towards doing good, strengthening our souls individually and collectively. Taking on a specific mitzvah that speaks to you not only helps to elevate the soul of Leiby Kletzky, it elevates your soul as well.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 69

(65)
Sharon JW,
July 24, 2011 12:07 AM

To the Family of Leiby Kletzky

In a world dominated by so much spiritual awareness and protestations of good will, we are forced to question how evil continues to stand on its own volition? And then we pause to consider the victims of crimes against humanity. ” Leiby Kletzky” joins the long list of those who perished at the hands of irrational behavior. There are never any words to express the true grief evoked because we can’t know the depth of one’s suffering after loss. All we seem to end up saying time and time again is how sorry we are. I am no exception. The heaviness of my soul walks with the Kletzky family. As a mother I have wept for “Leiby” and I have tried to find solace in who he was during his short time on earth; specifically how he may have touched people and how he would have wanted to be remembered. In my search for consolation I came upon a reading entitled “Meditation before Kaddish” found in the Reform Siddur “Mishkan T’filah”. The words enabled me to transcend the despair as I felt that it might be how “Leiby” may have discussed his transition. I would like to share the passage and hope that it may bring some comfort to the members of the Kletzky household.
When I die give what’s left of me away
To children and old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother walking the street beside you.
And when you need me, put your arms around anyone
And give them what you need to give me.
I want to leave you something,
something better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved,
and if you cannot give me away,
at least let me live in your eyes and not in your mind.
You can love me best by letting hands touch hands,
And by letting go of children that need to be free.
Love doesn’t die, people do.
So, when all that’s left of me is love,
Give me away.
Mr. and Mrs. Kletzky as you say goodbye to “Leiby” “Lose not courage, lose not faith, go forward” (Marcus Garvey 1887-1940). May Adonai be with you all in your hour of need.

(64)
Mike,
July 23, 2011 9:28 PM

My condolences

I want to offer my condolences to Leiby's family. Mike

(63)
Carolyn Beecher-Flad,
July 22, 2011 3:14 AM

To the Parents, Family, and Community of Leiby Kletsky

My dear, dear friends,
Forgive me if I call you 'friends,' but I feel so close to you. I am living in California, and I am a mother of two girls. I was once, not so long ago, a Jew. I studied to convert with an Chasidic rabbi. I will always consider the Jews, in so many ways, my people 'too.' Please know that I have searched and searched the internet for your names. I know you want and need privacy, but my heart has cried out to me, day after day and night after night as I consider the picture in my mind of your precious son, Leiby.
I cannot tell you how sorry I am that a monster has taken a good boy and the world he was and would have been from this earth.
I know that you were very proud of him and you gave him your trust and your love and he carried that with him. He knew until his last moment that you loved him and trusted him and what greater gift can we give to a child?
When a child is robbed of our world as was your son, good parents in all corners feel for you. We may not stand in your shoes, but we will bear the pain with you.
My dear Kletskys, one and all, and your community as well, I send you my love and my certitude that justice will prevail and may God give the peace that only He can give.
Blessings upon all of you,
Carolyn Beecher-Flad
Rocklin, Ca.

(62)
Annika Hasenkamp,
July 21, 2011 6:21 PM

My condolence

I m really shocket about the death, My condolence goes to the family and friends and many more people who knew him.

(61)
Anonymous,
July 20, 2011 6:01 PM

Why does the news media keep referring to Leiby's murderer as an orthodox Jew ? No orthodox Jew kidnapps and murders. If he does, he is no longer orhtodox.He should be executed and erased from the nation of Israel!!!

(60)
Anonymous,
July 20, 2011 6:00 PM

I remember to well what it is like to be "shocked into Silence," and at working so hard to maintain my own humanity.....
My heart goes out to this young boy and to this family

(59)
Anonymous,
July 19, 2011 3:45 PM

thank you for giving voice to our stunned silence.

(58)
devorah,
July 19, 2011 3:38 PM

my only possible response upon hearing of such tragedy was to think and reconsider how to relate to children and try to extend extra gentleness and love to my children and children in the community and try not to inflict and prevent any possible harm towards them. This terrible event can be a wake up call for all adults to consider our actions towards children in our lives.

(57)
randy,
July 19, 2011 6:27 AM

Bill Ritter from ABC news filed this news report:

I went to the Kletzky home in Borough Park this morning to visit the family.
I was honored that they welcomed me in. I was honored to pay my respects.
This is a family deep in mourning. 6 children, five of them girls.Leiby was their only son.
They are surrounded by an extended family - and surrounded as well, clearly, by a lot of love.
The family members I talked to want the world to know what a sweet and thoughtful little boy this was. They also want us to know that this tight knit Orthodox community rallied quickly to search for Leiby - thousands were out - combing the neighborhood grid more than 17 times. And finding the surveillance video that ultimately helped solve this crime.
I was also able to talk to Leiby's mother and father.
I told them that while their pain is theirs alone - we all share a bit of it. And by we, I mean millions - because this tragedy has affected the entire City.
And then his father offered this: He said he was proud to have been Leiby's father for nearly 9 years - and that if somehow his death is bringing so many people together - then what a great tribute to his boy.
I thought twice about going, but I was drawn there. And I'm glad I could express to Leiby's parents what so many other New Yorkers are feeling.

Rebecca,
July 23, 2011 10:07 AM

Courage

This comment brought me to tears. There are truly no words to express the entire Jewish community's sorry and grief for Lieby. But I would like to offer the following words for Lieby's father: Your comments stated above are the definition of courage and are so beautiful. What a courageous and incredibly amazing thing to say in this time of hardship and grief. We hope to pay a great tribute to Lieby. I pray for his soul to be elevated and for you, your wife, and your kids to get through this time.

(56)
Sue,
July 19, 2011 5:40 AM

Leiby's unspoken words has swept through the world. Yes, we let him speak. He had a message for all, religious and not. A person's honor comes after they die, for that is when you get to know them. We all have come to know who Leiby Kletzky is. You know a person by the way they walk in life. We got to see Leiby walk and we got to know him, by his walk. Leiby drew us altogether, one voice one prayer. We stand together, grouped together, as one family unit. Leiby, in his honor of who he is, reminded us we are family, with the good and the ugly, we are one. Whether loved or hated, we are family. Whether in this life or the next, we are one. Whether we agree or disagree, we are a family that is eternal, continuous, everlasting. Leiby invited all of us to our family reunion, so we wouldn't forget, WE ARE FAMILY.

(55)
eton,
July 19, 2011 3:45 AM

Its like Pelegesh B'giva

(54)
Anonymous,
July 18, 2011 11:43 PM

we should only hear of simchas!
and i hate to say this but you know it already everything happens for a reason

(53)
AlbertE.,
July 18, 2011 11:38 PM

"There was a notorious case in USA (New York) in the 30's of a pair of rich young men who killed somebody for no apparent motive and because their families were rich enough to hire good lawyers they were only jailed and let out on parole in the 60's or 70's (?)."
NO, you are thinking of Chicago and Leopold and Loeb. Killed Bobby Franks just to do it and get away with it. They were spared death but one of the two continued to molest the other men in prison and was killed by another inmate. The second killer spent 35 years, got out, married an heiress and spent the rest of his life living in comfort in Puerto Rico. Such is "justice". Say what you will, but the death penalty IS justice!

(52)
Richard,
July 18, 2011 10:10 PM

I was also shocked by this horrible murder of a child, and it left me feeling numb and helpless, but then I realize we must teach our children there are horrible people that do these thngs, and how they must avoid them. I think about our own children, now grown and having children of their own. We take our grand children to parks and places of interest and fun for them, but we have become very watchful, as well, to teach them how to be protective of themselves.

(51)
Ruth Bejar,
July 18, 2011 9:44 PM

Only Thoughts of love

My thoughts are with you..., praying for you both and the whole family, for peace and for the strength to understand the Will of Hashem.....

(50)
Anonymous,
July 18, 2011 7:46 PM

responsability

In a way we are all responsable as klal Israel for this type of situations, thanks for the light of this words, I think I understand now that im responsable of changing something within me, only changin negative within me for positive I can contribute to make this world better, may Hashem help all of us to achive positive change trhu mitzvot

(49)
mersedeh rofeim,
July 18, 2011 5:36 PM

i like to give my sincere condoleses to family and firends of leiby kletzky. i as a parsian jew, am horified by this and just wish the family peace.

(48)
ST,
July 18, 2011 4:39 PM

No Words

Hamakom Yenachaim Eschem Besoch Shaar Aveilei Tzion V'Yerushalayim. May you only know of simchos with happy hearts.
There are no other words. We are all traumatized and horrified.

(47)
Jacenty Domanski,
July 18, 2011 11:06 AM

There is hard to say anything.

With such brutal murder so young kid. Better to stay silent or cry.

(46)
Frank Adam,
July 18, 2011 9:19 AM

There are at least two precedents

There was a notorious case in USA (New York) in the 30's of a pair of rich young men who killed somebody for no apparent motive and because their families were rich enough to hire good lawyers they were only jailed and let out on parole in the 60's or 70's (?). I remember the late Alistair Cooke mentioning their release in one of his weekly, "Letter from America" when he used the story as "peg" to hang the pasage of time on with reference to something else.
There was a similar case in Tel Aviv three (?) decades back which was held up at the time by the religious as an exemplar of the bankruptcy of secular life.
Like divorce among the religious and the fact that there are 'datlashim' drop outs from Haredi and other "orthodox" religious life this will again be a peg for some jeering, but it is more important to ask after and decipher the motivation.
First to query is whether this an extreme form of the testing of the existence of God and the validity of religious ritual which starts with working light switches on Sabbath or eating non-kosher food and has progressed to something where in the words of the traditional death sentence, "May the Lord have mercy on your soul for you have been found guilty by men." The mirror image of the Lord testing Abraham by the akeda.
The second line of enquiry is the vexed pedagogical query of whether this is rebellion against an excessively "Skinner's pigeons" style of education in which drill, rote and avoidance of opportunities to mistake are carefully designed in and enforced without openings for questions other than how to do what one is told. In contrast is an open "Montessori" play and treat failure [within a protected but not overbearing context] as part of the learning process approach. Balancing the two and their use at different stages of learning and the pupils' own physical and social development is a long conversation but possibly the answers to the murderous aberration are somewhere in between.

(45)
stella barbut,
July 18, 2011 5:13 AM

Shocked Into Silence

I wrote this a few days after the murder of the Fogel family. It is for all Jewish children murdered just because they are Jews, and for all the other children murdered because human beings exiled their souls and became de-human.
Angel Faces.
Weep my heart,
Plumb the depths of sorrow
How deep is the depth?
Where does it end?
My heart plummets
Down the treacherous pit of time!
Jewish Baby Hadas - and - and - and
All the way back
To another Jewish Baby Moses,
Condemned to die!
But miraculously saved.
If only a miracle happened
For Hadas and Elad and Yoav and Udi and Ruth
And six million - and - and - and -
Where did it start ?
When did it start?
Ah God ! A heart can but weep
And break and die
And look at Angel Faces
And ask why ?
Why ? Oh God ! Why? Why ?
Leiby, beloved little one, rest in peace. Your God has put you together again and made you whole as He gathers you into His everlasting Arms.

(44)
Rodney Wilkinson,
July 18, 2011 5:13 AM

Lieby Kletzky

If only I could hold those dear parents in my arms and call on the God of all comfort, for I have no words either, God Bless you through this dark time. We Love You.

(43)
Paula Miller,
July 18, 2011 5:11 AM

In Memory of Leiby Ketzky

My sincere condolesces to the family and friends in the community on this horrifying murder of an innocent child.
Through education in the community, this type of event should never happen to anyone again.

(42)
Mordechai Shuali,
July 18, 2011 4:53 AM

The Speaking Being

Rabbi Coopersmith has hit on a very important point. It is perhaps THE message of the entire event. Man is made of neshamah and guf - soul and body. As the rabbi pointed out when they came together, Man became a speaking being. While the death of any member of a community is a loss to the entire community and draws all members into mourning, this loss, due the nature of it, speaks not only to a lost soul, but to a lost body as well. We speak of holiness of spirit and holiness of body. No reaction to this event would be complete if we didn’t contemplate our own body's holiness; how we dress, how we act in business and among our friends, how we treat our spouses and children, and certainly, how we speak. If we all gain in this way from the horrifying event, it will be, as was the death of Aaron's two sons, a great sanctification of the Al-mighty's name.

(41)
Anonymous,
July 18, 2011 3:28 AM

I was very shocked, in disbelief over what happened to the innocent life of Leiby Kletzky and feel tremendous pain for the family and for the community.

(40)
Anonymous,
July 18, 2011 3:26 AM

Thankful for a Constructive Way to Respond

Thank you Rabbi Coopersmith for bringing rays of light to this tragic event. We all can, and must, expend just alittle bit effort to restore the balance of good in this world. I hope young Leiby's soul is greatly elevated by the enormous expression of love, concern, and sympathy towards him and his family, and further elevated by our collective commitment to improve the way we relate to others in the world around us.

(39)
Thomas Golbert,
July 18, 2011 1:54 AM

My soul aches that such a horrific event could befall a parent.

May Leiby's memory be for a blessing. May Hashem comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. May you know sorrow no more but in the future only joy, love, nachas, and simchot.

(38)
Teresa C.,
July 18, 2011 1:54 AM

Speech makes us human

You said "The Talmud (Sotah 2a) instructs one who has witnessed a person accused of immorality to take an extra stringency upon himself in that area, to actively distance himself further from evil, even though he himself has not engaged in any sinful act. Since his reality has been expanded to include something so negative and destructive, he must work on increasing the positive forces in his life to restore the balance."
Thank you for this. You are right, speech makes us human and humane.
I pray that words of love will connect Leiby's family with all those that seek to lift up his good memory to HaShem.

(37)
Rebecca,
July 18, 2011 1:21 AM

The shock and disbelief and horror of Leiby's death has left us all reeling in grief. However, in addition to taking on Mitzvahs and hugging our children more, we need to do one more very important thing. The Jewish community must take a zero tolerance policy (Midat Din!) towards the sexual predators that lurk in our communities. Unfortunately, this was a time bomb waiting to happen. Reporting suspected predators to the police immediately and following through to make sure these sick and toxic people are off the streets and far away from our children is one of the biggest Mitzvahs we can do because it protects our children and we must advocate for our children! My heartfelt prayers go out to Leiby's family! Leiby, your precious Neshama will live on forever!

(36)
Jacqueline Bourque,
July 18, 2011 1:17 AM

The World Stands in Prayer for Lieby's family

Sleep sleep little Lieby
You were still like a little baby
Now cradled in the Arms everlasting
We feel the loss, we feel the sting
Abba & Imma...we grieve over your pain
Trying to rid of that awful refrain
The loss of your son we will never forget
We cry as strangers but as though we once met
Receive our prayers and love
Embedded in our hearts, from Heaven above.
The World - Jew & Gentile feel your sorrow
Praying you would find peace at "some" morrow

(35)
Keila,
July 18, 2011 12:17 AM

Evil among us

Evil knows no bounds. It will rear its ugly head in every community waiting for an opportunity. This time little Leiby Kletzky met it and lost. My prayers are with his family. May they find some comfort in their lives.

(34)
Carole Rothschild,
July 17, 2011 11:58 PM

There are no words to describe my feelings for this child and his family. I pray they have the strength to go on.

I feel children no matter how we want to shelter and protect them must be made aware of the the outside worlds and what could and does happen.

(33)
EC Green,
July 17, 2011 11:36 PM

Call to Action?

I am also tremenously grieved at the horrfic death this child experienced. Oh so needless! But I want to say something different -that most of us do not desire hearing: where is help for the one who did all this. Don't get me wrong I believe in capital punishment which sure looks appropriate here. What I see tho is that there is no addressing the "mental illness" among us. Much comes out of pathetic childhood sexual or physical or mental abuse never dealt with or even in cases acknowledged. Could we find a way to keep more of these evil events from ever happening? "Nothing is too difficult for G_d".

(32)
Rina Blech,
July 17, 2011 10:03 PM

A comforting thought

Very well said. This tragedy sure puts everything in perspective. We must learn from this tragedy, teach our children to be safe, but do not scare them. There is so much good in Hashem's world .
We need to emphasize the positive!

(31)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 9:43 PM

My heart goes out to all that suffer from this loss.

(30)
J Hirsch,
July 17, 2011 9:33 PM

Shock is Not Strong Enough a Word

I already added Leiby's name to the list of the people for whom I am saying Tehillim, many of which were murdered, and gassed in the Holocaust. The Nazis, yimach sham v'zichram could not have done a worse job!!!

(29)
Sara Yoheved Rigler,
July 17, 2011 8:58 PM

Kol Hakavod to Rabbi Coopersmith and Aish.com for immediately feeling the pulse of Am Yisrael, and using the website as a means both to focus our frantic, traumatized minds in the wake of the atrocity, and to express our condolences to the family.

(28)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 8:50 PM

It important to tell the young children in the Orthodox Community that there are cruel people walking the streets and never talk to strangers. In the era of the Cell phone every child should have one.

(27)
Marilyn,
July 17, 2011 8:49 PM

Condolences

My heart hurts for the dear Kletzky family. May G-d wrap you in His ever-loving arms and hold you close.

(26)
Rivkah Bergman,
July 17, 2011 8:34 PM

shocked into silence

I believe that eventhough we are not related to Leiby, we are all one, "Am Yisroel". To mourn we sit shivah for a week. Even after the shivah we still are sad. I don't want to mourn unnecessarily, but in this case I think mourning for Leiby is inevitable. We are not aloud to be depressed, but to be heart broken in this case, you have to let the mourning take its couse. Mussar to do mitzvas etc. is not appropriate in this situation. Hashem wants us to be heart broken and so we are.

(25)
NorthwoodsCynic,
July 17, 2011 8:34 PM

Evil in our world

Rabbi Coopersmith writes: "Evil that had previously not been a part of our world.." With all due respect, this is nonsense, as evil has always been a part of the world, our world. Didn't Cain kill Abel? Evil! Weren't six million Jews murdered in Europe not too long ago? Evil! Jews are human, and no human is perfect. Therefore Jews are not perfect, and some of us are evil, and all of us are capable of horrific acts. We should never assume that all of our relatives and friends and neighbors are always sane and benign, because they're not.

(24)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 8:30 PM

being quiet

I think that the silence is more reminiscent of the silence of Yosef's brothers after he revealed to them his true identity. There is nothing to respond. It is an awful depraved act and it came from one of our own. What can we possibly say?

(23)
Tammy Ashley,
July 17, 2011 8:29 PM

Leiby

There really are no words for unspeakably horrible situations such as Leibys. In fact I believe if a person trys to say too much in a situation like this they are in danger of offending instead helping to heal. Think of Job and his friends. On the other hand, Ecclesiastes chapter 3 comes to my mind.
The evil and brutality of this situation goes beyond the pale.

(22)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 8:15 PM

No one ever wants their loved one's name to be on the lips of thousands. May all our days be routine. And may HaShem find a way to offer us nechoma.

(21)
Glenn Ohanesian,
July 17, 2011 7:49 PM

May G-d comfort the Kletsky family. The world mourns with them.

(20)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 7:33 PM

CHESED

IF THE RESPONCE TO THIS HEINOUS ACT HAS TO BE TO RESTORE HUMANITY, THEN LOOK NO FARTHER THEN DAVID HAMELECH IN TEHILLIM THAT SAID "OLAM CHESED YEBONEH".THE MEANING IS THAT THE WORLD IS CREATED AND SUSTAINED THROUGH ACTS OF KINDNESS. SO OUR REPONCE TO THIS ATROCIOUS ACT IS LOVING KINDNES TO OUR FELLOW MAN.

(19)
Rho,
July 17, 2011 6:54 PM

Thank you

I still cannot stop crying. G-D bless this boy,

(18)
Barbara Roberts,
July 17, 2011 6:54 PM

May his memory be a blessing

May his memory be a blessing to all that knew
and loved him. May he rest in peace. He is now
in God's hands and may this bring us the comfort we need to heal from this tragedy.

(17)
Boaz,
July 17, 2011 6:43 PM

Breaking the silence

Rav Coopersmith: your words are indeed a light in this awful darkness. This is an extreme case, but it has always been an illusion that terrible things don't happen in our neighbourhoods.
We should pay attention to our neighbours that suffer in so many ways: women that are abused by their husbands, children that are abused by their parents and teachers, people that are ostracised for thinking different (thinking of the New Square, NY arson attack). We cannot stand silent. As you said "silence is tantamount to admission". May this tragedy give us strenght to improve ourselves, our families, our communities.

(16)
sonja,
July 17, 2011 6:41 PM

Condolences

My most sincere condolences to the family with their great loss. My prayer is that they may be comforted by Hashem. May Hashem sustain and comfort the family in their mourning.

(15)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 6:24 PM

comfort

Thankyou, This is so helpful it give me direction to go further.

(14)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 6:11 PM

Robbed of the right to enjoy a normal life.

I am still speechless. Leiby death has left all of us, as if we are all guilty of not been there in his time of need for direction or ride to return home. This crime was the worst of the worst and it is deeply scary to think, that a lost or confused child cannot trust anyone out there in a moment of need.....Leiby talked to the beast, and the animal coldly seized the moment. No amount of faith and prayers will bring Leiby back and restore happiness to the Kletzky family. In what way can we intill in our children the Torah wisdom in a way that they preserve their mitzvot and maintain a steady life, away from the evil and pressure of the world. In my home, we are still short for words to express how we feel about the abhorrent crime committed upon Leiby. Our hearts cry for the Kletzky family. We will keep you in our prayers.

(13)
Cindy,
July 17, 2011 5:51 PM

Condolences

I send my prayers to the family that they may be comforted by Hashem.

(12)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 5:30 PM

Innocent children

My heart is so saddened for little Caylee Anthony and now this innocent little boy brutally slaughtered like an animal by an animal. My heart is broken for his loving , grieving parents. God sustain them in their mourning.

(11)
Lorand B Kenon,
July 17, 2011 5:13 PM

May his neshamah live forever!

While I am a African American Jewish woman and a mother... I too did not want to speak or believe that something so diabiolical could happen in an Jewish Orthodocs community or any community for this matter....becaulse of the clsoeness and love from the outside looking in....May little Leiby Kletzky's forever rest in peace!!!

(10)
marc conder,
July 17, 2011 5:04 PM

to show love...

Rebbi Coopersmith reminded me to show love.to take the time and let those around me know how much I appreciate them.....both for myself, and for others.....

(9)
Ann C,
July 17, 2011 4:14 PM

Precious words from Rabbi Coopersmith

Rabbi Coopersmith's words deeply touched my heart. My very simple interpretation is that, whatever trouble invades a person's life, cling to the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I'm a Christian, but was shocked and saddened upon reading about little Leiby Kletzky. May his family feel the strong comforting arms of G-d about them.

YALYNDA,
July 17, 2011 11:53 PM

I PRAY FOR THE PARENTS

I AM A CHRISTIAN AND AM PRAYING FOR THE PARENTS WHO LOST THEIR CHILD AND FOR ISRAEL DURING THESE HARD TIMES, I STAND WITH YOU

(8)
harriet weinberger,
July 17, 2011 3:31 PM

As a parent who lost a son through illness (which was bad enough,) and a grandparent I fear for all children in this day and age....and yes, I was in a state of shock that anyone (especially a jew to another jew )to even think to do this..I am still realing....

(7)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 3:20 PM

thank you for this article which will cause me to do a mitzvah.

thank you for this article. It will cause me to do a mitzvah.

(6)
Anonymous,
July 17, 2011 2:45 PM

Rabbi's comment

very well said. Sharing our grief and love is essential.

(5)
Elon Cohen,
July 17, 2011 1:51 PM

Reflect, Remember and Rejoyce your children, family and friends.

Call, write or visit someone you know needs your love and support!

(4)
E.L.,
July 17, 2011 1:41 PM

No Words

For no words to say, you took a beautiful message out of this tragedy.

(3)
Yiska,
July 17, 2011 1:35 PM

Candle

Throughout this whole thing I've wanted to DO something. Nothing we do will bring back Leiby,or make his family feel no pain,but there has to be something. All I could do was light an extra candle for him on Shabbat - in memory, and in insight to it being his first Shabbat "away." I continue to pray for his family.
<3

(2)
sarah shapiro,
July 17, 2011 1:24 PM

.

By speaking of this silence, Rabbi Coopersmith has given me a link to my own struck-dumb heart.

(1)
Yaakov Bash,
July 17, 2011 12:40 PM

Thank you

Thank you to Rabbi Coopersmith for saying so perfectly how we are all feeling and suggesting a response.
I cannot think of many examples in all of Jewish history when a Jew has behaved so brutaly to another human being. I keep thinking of Cain and Abel. The torah states that "The sounds of the bloods of your brother cry out to Me from the ground" Why bloods? Because not only did Cain kill Abel, he killed off all his unborn descendants. Leiby and his descendants have been taken from all of us.
The reason we feel this loss so acutely is because we are one big family. Perhaps an appropriate response, is as the author suggests - to get out of our petty concerns and think about others - after all, as a family, we need to be looking out for one another.

Karen,
July 17, 2011 2:58 PM

Thank you Yaakov Bash

true, we are one big family.

Rodney Wilkinson,
July 18, 2011 5:19 AM

Thank you Yaakov

Bless you Yaakov, Bless you Yaakov, and Blessings to you too Rabbi Coopersmith.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

There are many tasks, jobs, and chores that we will end up
doing whether we really enjoy doing them or not. Many hours of our lives are spent this way. The late Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, of Ponevehz Yeshivah, used to say, "If you are going to do it anyway, do it with joy."

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!