Some people who are unlucky in love have resorted to satisfying themselves with purchased services.

TSA now offers a service for those who like to expose themselves……. the full body scanner guarantees a captive audience.

Also there is the standard pat down for those who like a bit of light personal service.

A more vigorous form of stimulation is now available (since October) called the “resolution pat down” if one prefers heavier physical contact with more attention given to the private parts.

These services can be provided in conjunction with short flights for quite a bit less money than one might pay in the the urban areas for clean, professional stimulation.

These obvious facts point towards a tax payer supported industry which will service a regular clientele of fliers who OPT IN for special sexual services at BARGAIN rates. An airline ticket and a bit of metal apparel to ring the alarm are the only requirements for admission to the TSA Relaxation Center.