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Friday, September 28, 2018

I made Reuben a hat to match Becky. Three is so interesting. I had to bribe him with chocolate to put it on and let me take a picture! I love it, but he seems unsure. Maybe when it actually gets cold he'll let me put it on him and adorn Becky similarly and bask in a mother's pleasure at matching siblings.

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Whenever I have time to sit down and
write I never feel like writing. And when I do feel like writing I of
course can't, because children. Or life. Or something. Right now
Reuben is playing on the playground and Becky is asleep and I think I
should write something, but a topic alludes me.

I've been reading a lot of Victorian
literature lately. Right now I am reading Can You Forgive Her by
Trollope. It sure is an interesting read and full of many political
and relational insights. I'm about halfway through. I want to read
more of his works, but this was the one I started with. I've also
been reading Charles Dickens. I just finished David Copperfield. This work of fiction has blown me out of the water! I must own and
read all of Dickens works. He's amazing. I never gave him two
thoughts before, but now: I am hungry for everything he wrote and
plan to read it all.

Not having internet is...interesting.
At it's worst it is only inconvenient. I can't Google things whenever
I want. I can't mindlessly check out on the internet. I have not
watched a single YouTube video since we canceled it and I miss
watching my favorite YouTubers. But it has also been oh so healing
and soothing to my soul to not have internet at home. My day feels
less rushed. I feel completely unburdened by the noise that is media.
I don't care a bit about the “social” aspect of the internet
anymore, and I realize that in light of Eternity and God maintaining a "online presence" is
minutely insignificant and not worth my precious time. Living without
the internet is bliss. However “inconvenient” it is I know I made
the right decision for myself and my family.

Another thing of note that has
occurred: I quit the keto diet. I originally did keto due to blood
sugar issues and I loved it. But I quit loving it. Keto became a
burden, a diet that I felt I “had” to do. I “had” to do it
because my husband was. I couldn't give up because I'd be letting him
down and letting myself down. All my friends knew I was
keto, knew I loved it. I couldn't just quit, could I? Furthermore I knew the second I started eating carbs again I would gain 20
pounds and become intellectually stunted.

Eventually I just realized I was being
stupid and I quit. It was as easy as that. Right now I am doing only
dairy and gluten and refined sugar free, and I have picked up yoga
and it's going great. I have only weighed myself once in the past
three weeks. I am enjoying sandwiches. I have not gained 20 pounds
but I can bend over and pick up toys without feeling vertigo, so
thanks Yoga. But I could wax eloquent on the sandwiches. I have eaten
either a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich or a hummus sandwich or a
cheese toasty (vegan cheese) for lunch, with a side salad, every day
since I quit! I also made chili the other week. I have not had beans
in over five years. There was a party in my mouth and a tear in my
eye when I took that first bite. I plan on making more chili next
week. My toddler hated it, but hey, more chili for me. Whoo!

Becky is eight months this September
and Reuben is a solid three. My husband is turning 34 next year and I
am ever daily traveling to 32. This sounds so old! Thirty two. I think
of my mom when I think of that age. I was 11 when she was 32. As much
as I wish I had kids when I was younger, I know my younger, unsaved
self would have been a horrible mother, so I am glad I was spared
that adventure. Having kids as an older woman has its pluses and minuses for
sure, but from my perspective it's all pluses for me. Sure, it would
be nice to be out of the pregnancy phase (we want more kids) and have
that behind me in my 20s, but I know solidly I was not ready for kids
at that age. I wasn't ready at 30 either—but God was there with me
and I was adaptable enough that I listened to him. I wasn't in a
listening frame of mind in my 20s.

Friday, September 21, 2018

I've started knitting and crocheting my own patterns again! It's been too long. I have not been able to write patterns since Becky was born, but now that she will play by herself I have been able to dabble a little. This is the infant size for a new hat pattern that I will be releasing soon! I also plan on having a toddler and adult size, as well as video tutorials as well.

It's super cute. I also plan on listing all these hats for sale on etsy because I need to pay off some debt from having this baby. I'm excited to be creative again, and have a ton of new knit/crochet ideas.

Friday, September 14, 2018

I was making myself a sweater, but instead I made Reuben a coat. Because one of my skeins of yarn was not the right color and it was glaringly obvious. So I unraveled about 70% of a sweater and remade it into a little neat jacket for Reuben.

This is the second time I have knit this pattern. I made a rainbow version of this last year for Reuben, and this year I made a red version. He loves it! The pattern is the Storytime Scholar, and I plan on making one for Rebekah next.

Saturday, September 8, 2018

If anyone is still around who read my
blog in 2016, they might remember that I married a man who did not
have home internet. I was baffled. After I moved in, I was
inconvenienced. It took six months of begging and pleading with him,
but eventually we did sign up for home internet! I know I posted
about how happy I was. The very next year I also posted about how I
was addicted to my iPhone, so clearly it worked out well.

Anyway, we had internet for four years.
I say had, because we no longer do! For four years I have struggled
to create good boundaries between myself and the internet. I have
tried putting it on a self timer. I have tried deactivating my
Facebook. I have tried many many things. They have all failed because
the internet is mindlessly pleasing and easily accessible.

So we canceled it. And I have never
been happier. I mean it!

Now when I sit down to write
(like I am doing right now) I don't waste 20 minutes browsing
Facebook. I write.

Now when I nurse I don't
mindlessly scroll my phone and ignore my son. I read a book and
ignore my son. Hah, just kidding. Sometimes I read him books,
sometimes I read by myself, sometimes I knit, and other times I just
sit and chill and talk to Reuben.

But not having internet has taken a ton
of pressure off my life. No Facebook ads. No worrying about
notifications or checking my e-mail. I just pick a day to go to the
library and upload things and schedule posts and check what I need.
My life is so much more free! My husband comes home in the evenings
and we and talk to each other. We don't stare at our phones.

There are other benefits. I've always
worried about how to keep Reuben and Rebekah from looking at
pornography as they mature. (if you want to know why I think porn is
bad, I can do a whole post on that, but for brevity's sake: you can't
tell if those participating are of age and/or have given their
consent) There are a lot of evils on the internet and I want to
protect my children and teach them how to have good boundaries. But
how can I make sure they aren't online in the middle of the night
when I am asleep? And how can I teach them when I myself struggle
with good internet boundaries?

I want my children to use the internet
as a tool and not become addicted to any aspect of it. Moreover, I
desperately want them to know that they can have joy and happiness
and a life outside of social media. What better way to keep them from
looking at pornography or talking to strangers online than not having
internet at home? What better way to teach them they can have joy
without the internet than by example?

Because of the revolutionary change
that has come over our household with the removal of the internet I
would greatly encourage everyone to try it! Only blessings have come
our way from taking this step. We've saved so much money. Because of canceling the internet we also canceled Amazon Prime, Pandora and Audible. Not having internet has drastically reduced our online shopping!

I will update you as the weeks turn
into years, as we have no plans of ever signing up for home internet
again.

Disclosure

Carolynn Markey is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.