Last time I started talking about Ego in the middle of everything and it probably seemed like I was just blabbering, like always. Today though I want to talk some more about him, that strange friend that everyone has. When I say “Ego” everyone probably thinks about it like a negative trait in people, but I don’t. “Ego” is just “I”. To be precise it is the “I” in the old language of Latin, not something negative that people actually think. Some of you has probably heard of some of the insults using the word “Ego”. For example “Ah the Ego of that guy”, or “Damn what a big Ego you have”, or something like that. Often times it is used because of someone having the attitude of being better than everyone.

This is the “Ego” that I want to discuss today, both my own and my thoughts on it but first, be honest to yourself and us, or at least me, don’t you too have thought such things about another person? Don’t worry, this isn’t a persecution or something, but more a exercise for you to open up your mind a little. Let me explain my thoughts. It is quite simple actually, it is a part of our personality and I am almost certain that it is rooted in our animalistic nature. What I mean is that before civilization we was always, and sometimes we still are, following the stronger man, the one who can lead us to survival and prosperity. I have no urge to pursue that further right now, but think about it.

In history we have always looked down upon humans that we have considered as less than us. People who seemed to be primitive to us, like the Japanese before Meiji or the Indians in America when we searched for new land and treasures. Yes yes, I am a European but I am neither proud nor apologetic about it, I am also white for all you that want to persecute or call me racist after this. We in Europe have had slaves, we have brought black slaves to America, heck we BOUGHT black slaves from black people in Africa, that is a fact people. Yes I am not proud of that, but there is also the fact that those people were already slaves but by their own “race”, as people like to say for some reason that is beneath me. We have been using and having slaves long before other colors of the skin was important and that is history. What I want to say is that there is only one reason slaves was possible, we thought we were the better ones and if anyone want to discuss or disapprove of that statement go ahead and discuss it, I am always willing when I have time.

So what was my point? That we are rooted in civilization and in our animal nature to follow the strong and that also leads to suppressing the weaker, or the ones we saw as the weaker. The same has been done for quite some time against the opposite sex, yes I am also a man so three strikes for me I guess. Of course there is a different story when it come to the opposite sex, until Christianity deemed girls and women to be “Impure” a word I can’t really fathom considering the blood soaked history Men has caused. Women was in certain older religions and traditions actually considered holy since they can do one thing that Men can never do! Create life! Anyway we have always been following people based on strength, either physical or mental, or shall we call it by it’s other name Charisma!

But you understand now right? You are not the only one who has ever felt that “I am superior to him” feeling. If you never have, you have either not lived long enough or aren’t stronger than anyone on anything or you are a better person than anyone else or the most likely choice, you are lying, both to yourself and to us, or at least to us. I don’t say that you enjoy that feeling nor that you should. In fact since we always strive to stop being animals we should always try to correct ourselves, but we have to first acknowledge what we have to correct before we can do anything about it. Don’t deny that you have been feeling such things and instead question yourself and that feeling.

Before I continue I have to confess that I too has had feelings of superiority, but I acknowledge that and try to change myself and see other people in different lights than before. But I want us to stop telling us that an Ego is wrong to have! Ego is more than just a feeling of superiority! It is ourselves, it is what we are, what we have become and what we are turning into, it can even be our dreams. It’s an ever evolving creature soaking up surroundings and feelings and growing, turning us into humans instead of animals who only live on lust and hunger. It is what makes us create incredible things and ideas, it is what makes us communicate with each other and most of all it is where all our feelings come from. Ego should be our best friend, he should always be there for us and should always keep himself open to new ideas to get our “Race”, meaning Humans not Color, to evolve into something more than humans and especially animals. Without our Ego we wouldn’t be able to appreciate other peoples touch, different colors, or the simple beauty of fireworks or nature. So stop turning the “Ego” into something negative.

I can discuss this on so many other levels and have much more that I can draw it out, but I hope you who have read understand what my view of “Ego” is. Of course I have only defended the Ego of those people who feels they are superior, I don’t support nor acknowledge their right to feel like that.

I think I have overstayed my welcome right about now, but I only wanted to discuss this with you and please leave a comment or even better write in another blog, if you of course manages to see this before it disappears in the world wide web. But anyone who reads even if you don’t want to drop a comment, think about your “Ego”. How much do you know him/her and have you felt superior and why? If you open yourself to those thoughts than maybe you can learn something about yourself that no one knew or at least that you didn’t know. But most importantly it opens your mind for a world and possibilities that you would never have dreamed of otherwise.

That’s right, I have been quite lax when it comes to writing these past months. But there is a reason, not a good one nor a interesting one. I have just been too busy, that and I have the mindset that I want to write when I want to write about what I want to write about. I understand that won’t probably bring in any more people reading this, but on the other hand if that was why I was writing, would that really be as interesting then as I would just be a person who has taken a side job without getting paid and how fun would that be for other people to read about?

Anyway what has happened since last is that I am finally done with my course in State science and has started reading Japanese again. It’s both fun and depressing seeing that I apparently has lost quite a lot of my “skills” in the language. But I need to finish this once and for all so I’ll just keep on taking the punishment to my small but proud Ego. Have you met him yet? Ego I call him, a kind and funny one he is. Knows more than he should, is smarter than his grades suggest and sometimes can be a big pain in the ass when he is too proud without any reason whatsoever and when he for some reason always have better understanding of others and what other people should do in certain situations, than his understanding of me and what I should do. But what can I do, Ego is always a part of me, even when I don’t want him to be.

Ah yes now the gay joke of the week or something right? No, sorry I was talking about myself if you didn’t get it. But that is the person I am and are. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. Often though I can have a blast with my self and other friends and sometimes I walk around with a stupid smile on my face. I never know why, just that I am in a good mood for a reason no one knows, not even me. But that is what life is about isn’t it. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes not. Sometimes you have money and sometimes you are poor. Some don’t even have friends and some have several. I can go on and on but there is never one exactly the same as anyone else and that is why the world and people can be so interesting, and that is also the reason why I sometimes wish I had the money or lived in a place where meeting new people would be easy and fun. Not to mention why I want to travel the world on the back of an elephant, living of the street, taking part time jobs everywhere I go just to get money to travel, and to see all the places in a light that no tourist will ever know. Sometimes the thought of escaping this boring-nothing-will-ever-happen-to-me world to try and find my everything-is-an-adventure world instead and just see what we can find on the other side of the oceans.

Ah oh god no. I did it again didn’t I. I slipped, lost my train of thought and slipped into something else. Must be tough to read what I write sometimes isn’t it, seeing as I always write without any idea what to write about and just keeps on rambling like a mental patient on drugs. I really need to change that part of me. Oh and I will try to write something more, and talk about something that can be a little more interesting. I have a few topics to discuss, seeing as I do have a lot of unsaid, unexplored and interesting ideas to talk and discuss about. I do hope some of you may find it in your time or hearts to let me take a few minutes while I do explore some of those and hopefully we can start discussing it, nothing more fun and interesting than having a civil discussion! Anyway that is all the time I can spare for today so… well…. have a nice week or something I guess and I will be back before you know it, or have disappeared from the internet completely.