Well, We May’d It

Enter June and 4 months of sleepless nights and me being a whiney brat. My disdain for summer heat is almost legendary. Most of my friends really just don’t get the misery involved for me. You winter haters put on a few extra layers and you can at least still function. Us summer haters suffer no matter how many layers we take off. In fact, take off too many in public and you can even get arrested.

My recent revelation is that sunburns and sunscreen are obvious signs that we’re not even designed to be outside in temperatures above 75. If I have to put a layer of slime on my skin to protect myself from the outside world, then I’m probably not supposed to be in it in the first place. Sunscreen: The Hazmat suit of summer.

And let’s not forget how bad summer is for the environment. Everybody’s running air conditioners all over the world, using more water because you have to take more baths and buying more bottled water to stay hydrated. Summer is killing the planet, y’all. That carbon footprint we’re all so worried about? It’s being made by a sandal.

Okay. Summer rant is done. We now return you to your regularly, not-scheduled updating.