9.12.09

Necessary Roughness Presents, Week 13 in the NFL :Adam Schefter is the first to report that there are two undefeated teams and a to-be-named-later head coach is on the hot seat

where...

…I almost had tickets to the CHI/STL game!
…you’ve been flexed, New England Patriots!
…Vince Young plays great and only cries once!
…The Browns play a game and manage to always have 11 men on the field!
…Gary Kubiak should have been fired immediately after Chris Brown’s pick!
…The Pride of Pittsburg, Bruce Gradkowski, returns to raid and pillage his hometown!
…let’s not forget there was a NYJ/BUF game on Thursday! Actually, forget that happened!

…beyond belief!

1st and 10…

Well Mike, I’m not really sure what kind of hell the Steelers unleashed on Sunday, but it wasn’t the really scary kind of hell. It was more like the kind of hell that a tiny kitten might dream up during a mid-afternoon nap. The Steelers didn’t even unleash enough hell to beat the Raiders, which doesn’t take a whole lot of unleashing, really. It might seem though you were being cautious and double-leashing the hell you control Mike, because it seems as though if you unleashed any hell at all (even a little bit), the Steelers would have been able to beat the Raiders. It was more like the Steelers opened up a can of purgatory on the Raiders’ asses. Just a whole lot of not doing much, really.

December is a special month as it includes many great traditions such as gift giving and receiving, good will towards man, New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and the total collapse of the Dallas Cowboys. That tradition was officially uncorked in Week 13 as the New York Giants (who hadn’t won a football game in 40+ days) stomped the Cowboys in every way imaginable as Wade Philips stared on in disbelief and an assistant eventually had to use string to keep his mouth from hanging open and drool from pouring out of the corners. Indicative of the “Christmas Creep” the Cowboys traditional December slide actually started the last week of November this year as Tony Romo took some personal time to go to Vegas with some of his Cow boys. Miles Austin was even photographed flashing his huge, Baraka-esque smile with a cocktail waitress under each arm. Great Job Tony, Miles, Wade and the rest of the Cowboys! Great job! This is the exact kind of thing all the Colts and Saints are doing right now as well. Quality ownership creates a quality organization which creates a quality football team. Great job Jerry Jones!

It looks like everyone’s fashionable Super Bowl pick and in-general dream team, the Minnesota Vikings, aren’t as great as many people thought. I almost jumped on board that bandwagon, but then I thought about the fact that their offense is centered around a running back with a forced “chosen one” identity and a proven history of multi-fumble games, a 40-year-old quarterback who has looked 32 all season but can turn 49-years-old in a matter of seconds (or at the drop of a few degrees), and Brad Childress with his Hackers headset. That’s a pretty shaky trio to headline a potential Super Bowl team. Has anyone forgotten how Brett’s last few seasons have ended? With tears, and lots and lots of interceptions, that’s how they’ve ended.

Matt Forte revealed to a Chicago newspaper that he has had a hamstring issue since training camp, which could be a reason why he has had such a statistically poor season for the Chicago Bears. Really Matt? This sounds a lot like “the dog ate my homework.” An excuse for having no excuse really. The real problem you are experiencing this season Matt is that as an NFL running back you lack the speed, power, quickness, explosiveness and overall skills required to even be a low-level running back. You look like a CFL running back in the NFL Matt. But let’s humor this hamstring issue for one second. You say it’s been lingering since training camp Matt, but I find that hard to believe. That would mean your hamstring never healed through the months of inactivity you had at the beginning of the season when Jay Cutler was chucking 55 passes a game. It’s December now Matt. If you’ve had a hamstring issue since August, then the Chicago Bears trainers are the worst in the business, and your hamstring has probably detached from your leg by now and is bunched up somewhere near your knee joint. That’s my best guess.

…touchdown!

extra point…

That whole business I wrote last week about the NFL needing Bill Belichick, yeah…you can ignore that. Just pretend you never read it. It is waay too much fun to watch the once iron-willed New England Patriots come apart at the seams. The best is yet to come as they limp through December and back into the playoffs as a three seed only to get humiliated at home by a wild card. My vote right now is Tennessee.