10 Girlfriend Statements, Translated

(SPOT.ph) History will reveal that people have painted a complicated portrait of a woman. She’s fickle, she’s irrational, and she’s...basically Amy Elliott-Dunne from Gone Girl. The confusion about what women mean when they talk continues to this day and while countless campaigns have been made to inform people that women are just humans, husbands and boyfriends still find it hard to communicate with them...sometimes.

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If you’re one of the baffled, here’s a quick guide to what women really mean when they say, “It’s okay.”

Context: You’re disagreeing over something and she begins detaching from the argument.

You think it means: Prod some more because she’s being coy.

Translation: "Obviously, it's not really fine, but I am too tired to explain because you're being dense." Alternatively, "Drop the subject, because I'm trying to forgive you right now and opening your mouth might make me change my mind. "

"I don't need/like flowers."

Context: She’s trying to fight a heteronormative stereotype.

You think it means: Never, ever give her flowers.

Translation: "I don't need flowers, but they'd be nice to get once in a while."

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"That’s nice."

Context: You’re enthusiastically telling her a story and she looks at you like you’re speaking Dothraki...or you just gave her a gift.

You think it means: It’s nice?

Translation: "That's nice...but note that I'm not saying great." (Have you seen Interstellar? Absolute honesty is not recommended!)

"Have fun!"

Context: You’re going to a party or a trip without her.

You think it means: Go nuts! Do whatever you like!

Translation: "...not too much fun." Enjoy yourself...but not so much that you forget you have a girlfriend. This is a not permission to flirt. You’ll also avoid an argument if you just text her at least once.

"No."

Context: You’ve asked a question that requires a yes or no for an answer.

You think it means: It’s a yes waiting to happen, you just need to be persistent.

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Translation: "No."

"Watchu doin’?"

Context: She sends this text after a week or so of not meeting up.

You think it means: She wants to know what you’re doing.

Translation: "I MISS YOU LET’S MEET UP PLEASE." But in a cool way.

"I hate you! I hate this day! I hate everything!"

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Context: She’s already crabby and she’s whining about her bad day...and you thought it’s a good idea to fix her problems for her.

Context: She’s constantly checking herself in the mirror, she’s worrying you eat out too much, and she feels like she gained weight.

You think it means: She feels fat and you need to help her be sexy.

Translation:The pressure of imposed standards of beauty is stressing her out and she’s worried you only like her for her waistline. It’s not a trap and you shouldn’t automatically unleash a barrage of praises that you don’t mean to make her feel better. Alternatively, she can also be saying this: "You are gaining a bit of weight and I want us to exercise together."

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"It’s up to you."

Context: You don’t know where to eat or, on a larger scale, you are about to make a decision that will affect both of your lives.

You think it means: It’s a free pass to pick something that disregards her interests and fears without consequences.

Translation:"You know me very well, right? I trust you with my time. Make it count!"

"You look fine."

Context: You have a weird haircut, you’re trying on a shirt, or you’re worrying about the size of your tummy-tum-tum. Er, we mean ab.