Matt Singer

New York City, New York, USA

BandFolkSinger/Songwriter

I write silly, funny, quirky, edgy, smart lyrics with catchy melodies over simple and original acoustic guitar parts. I've been compared to They Might be Giants, Tenacious D and Flight of the Conchords. People have approached me after a show to tell me that I made them laugh so much it hurt.

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Biography

First let me say that I represent Brooklyn but I was raised out of Jersey.

Now then, I wrote my first song when I was four years old, sitting on the floor of my fatherï¿½s office, in a Manhattan law firm, where he was not happy. The song was called Beep-Beep-Bop-Bop-Bop-Beep ï¿½ that was the hook anyway. Recording it on my dadï¿½s Dictaphone, the message I was trying to get across was that brushing your teeth is fun, and important. Now my father is a psychologist and he is happy.

I wrote my second song 16 years later, not because I had a good idea but because I was sad and lonely. I donï¿½t remember the lyrics or the melody, and I could not tell you the song title, but it might have been called Sad and Lonely. Boring, yes, and certainly a less important work than ï¿½Beep,ï¿½ but nevertheless crucial to my development, because the second song led to a third, and the third to a fourth, and when I had a full set of original music I summoned the courage to play at an open mic, where Kimya said, ï¿½Dude, I feel like I wrote that song,ï¿½ and the rest is history.

Now the very fact that I am writing a bio(graphy) implies a certain level of self-importance (true) and a certain degree of achievement (sorta) and/or can be boiled down to the fact that every reasonably gifted musician is expected to write one (I am a total conformist). Anyhow, rather than write about all the great venues I have played, all the obscenely talented artists with whom I have shared a stage, and all the other details of my musical life that illustrate how great I am, all awkwardly stated in 3rd person (see all other Matt Singer bios, 2001-2008), I think Iï¿½ll just say goodbye, for now. Besides, if you want to see all that other stuff, itï¿½s not so hard to find.

Other Info

Band Website

Lyrics

Stacy J

Stacy J went to the American Idol auditionSimon said you suck and Randy said you suckPaula said you've got potential to be alrightSo she took a long train back home that nightCamden, NJ

But home wasn't what Stacy J auditioned for soshe moved to Fort Green at the age of 19she said i'd rather be miserable than just alrightshe made her way to the open mic

the bartender and me were the only one's listeningshe played songs for loversi think both of them were coversthe sullen hipsters thought that she was just alrightshe said i'm gonna drink a lot tonightthat's what she did

so i bought her a whisky and i bought me a beeri said you sounded good like she knew i wouldbut she didn't say anything just sipped her drinkuntil i fucked her senseless on the restroom sinkit was awesome

woke the next day and knew that i was in love can't remember what we said as we lay in bedbut we watched shitty movies and we ordered chineseshe never said thanks and she never said pleaseand i like that

six months pass they went just like thatStacy moved in and we lived in sinbut now and then i'd see her looking to a far off place some things in your mind you just can't eraselike Simon Cowell ripping out your bleeding heart

so when Stacy J broke the news i could see it comingshe said she had a dream and i had to know what that meansso i drove her to the airport and i wished her luckshe said one day you'll find someone else to fuckoh god i hope so

well Stacy J was right and it didn't take longand it didn't take much so didn't hold a grudgebut i learned a good lesson which is when you go fishin'it's best to stay away from a beautiful musicianand the ugly ones too

but me and the new girl are doing pretty goodat least she never turns her face to a far off placeshe likes to watch shitty movies and to order chinesebut she sometimes says thanks and she sometimes says pleaseand that's alright

Well i was writing this song when i received a letterit was Stacy J writing out from L.A.she said i hope you found someone but still think of meand guess who you're gonna see on TVshe meant herself

So Stacy J went back to the American Idol auditionSimon said you suck, but Paula said you're greatRandy said i like your choice of song, you sound alrightHe held her fate in the balance on that fateful night

Outrageous

Written By: Matt Singer

I wanna take (wake) up snorting lines in the men’s room with girlfriends who have boyfriends who think they’re my friendsThey’re idiots. So am I, all of us, will join a 12-step program for nymphomaniacal morons who’ll fly to San Fran every weekend to get their whore on in the back of a trolley. And all the time we’ll be swilling the cheap shit, Fresca and Popov, ‘til I get useless and take my top off and show everyone my love handles, and they will too except when they do it’ll be mildly attractive ‘cause they won’t have to be the awkward fat kid, the awkward fat kid, the awkward fat kid.

Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageousDo you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous

Then me and the 12-steps will use our secret knock on the backdoor of the White house and then convince the hired help to let George’s wife out. We’ll go fishing for pigeons on George’s lawn. Laura’s wearing a Speedo, I’m sporting a thong, then I’ll give her head while she sings twinkle, twinkle little star. And all the time we’ll be swilling the cheap shit, Fresca and Popov, ‘til I get useless and take my top off and show everyone my shoulder hair. But Laura won’t mind ‘cause she’s cool like that and besides I spiked her drink with crystal meth and convinced her to think that her husband should re-consider welfare reform. Really.

Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageousDo you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous

BridgeJanuary 7th, 1983: Although he exhibits skills in many areas, Matthew still seems unable to deal with frustration. When presented a task with which he is unfamiliar his typical response is “I can’t,” rather than “I’ll try.” He was referred for testing to determine whether he is unable or simply unwilling to try new things.

Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageousDo you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous

Scary

Written By: Matt Singer

One day I was playing in the mud when I felt an overwhelming thud Against the back of my head and I said what was that you dirty ratThen I was on a cape cod ferry with a lady who’s imaginaryAnd her name ain’t jane or joan or jerry, swear on my dead cat her name was scaryScary Scary

She said yep that’s my name and I said oh dear what a shame What are your parents evil misanthropes who use you as a pissing postShe said no dude the names my own, I came up with it 2 weeks agoAnd its brought nothing but luck you see, cause angry fucks stay away from meScary, an intelligent lady

She told me she watched dawson’s creek and I said well so do I you freakAnd we both agreed it would be a big mistake to replace james van der beekBut the ferry was a shakin’ and my belly felt like an earthquake andI knew trouble was a comin so I picked a tune and I started humminOh shit

I threw up on her lap and she said baby that’s okayBecause you’re just about the sweetest thing that I’ve encountered in my travelsAnd I;ve had many travels, just to name a few places I’ve been toThere’s kahsakhstan, and kathmandu and Tennessee and TimbuktuAnd considering all the up I threw on scary’s lap I somehow knewThat scary was the only girl for me, or at least I hoped soSo I crossed my fingers, and now I’m going to whistle

When the ferry ride was finished I politely asked for all her digitsAnd she said you should come on by and I’ll bake you a cherry pieSo I walked up to her house and I played one chord over and over againAnd sang a song entitled baby you’re the bombAnd it went just like thisBaby baby you’re the bomb

And just like that she blew up in my face but it was greatBecause she tasted just like chocolate cake then transformed into her former stateYeah yeah yeah

Well scary’s house was pretty and she had a kitty she called coach smittyWho threw up on my lap and I said holy cow this is a signShe said well come right out with it, if you really think that I’m the shitThen just tell me so and we can go eat a gallon of gelatoWhoa this girl is really phat with a ph and I am hoping that this scary is the girl for meNECESSARILY

Scary, scary, SCARY who cares that she’s imaginaryScary, scary, She has no problem with eating dairyAnd doesn’t mind that I am hairy. Scary

She said that I should stay a while and I accepted with a smile then we broke out all her smurf toys and pretended we were themthen we hugged and kissed and reminisced about the time I threw up on her lapthen we took a nap together and slept forever and ever

VHS

Written By: Matt Singer

VHS

Our love is on VHS. Nowadays it doesn’t play. I don’t care you’re still the best even if you don’t see me that way

I started all that nonsense talk about what we should try to beBut I could never walk the walk and I can’t watch this DVD

The menu screen is kinda cool and extra features teach me stuffBut I already played the fool. I know by now I’ve had enoughI’m tired of being a fool. I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough

My friends tell me to skp this scene but I just wanna press rewindSlow and hard not fast and clean. I am gonna take my time.

But one day I’ll break down, I bet and try their fancy shmancy shitUntil then this old cassette is what I watch and that is it.

The menu screen is kinda cool and extra features teach me stuffBut I already played the fool. I know by now I’ve had enoughDon’t have the nerve to get you back so I’m going into townFind myself a Radio Shack and lay my money down. Lay my money down.

Our love is a VCR, cold and black and obsolete. If the past is where we are then the past is where I wanna beThe past is where I wanna be, The past is where I wanna beThe past is where I wanna be, shove your fucking DVD

All This Joy

Written By: Matt Singer

I have been living impatiently. I’d become a passionate drinker.

Waiting has not been my cup of tea so I have thrown it all away.

Everyone looks at me skeptically as though this were not my true demeanor.

But they know not of what I am capable, therefore they have nothing to say.

I run to the woods and look around all I see is my reflection.

So I howl like I am a wolf and take my clothes off.

The caribou cheer, the squirrels rejoice, the birds and fish change direction.

To catch a glimpse of all this joy that is much deeper than just for the weekend.

There are suckers who give up too easily and many of them are my homies.

They clean up their rooms and they read their books and they always have something to say.

There was a time when I ran to them always in search of approval.

Now I look at them all with a broken heart wishing their sadness away.

I run to the woods and look around all I see is my reflection.

So I howl like I am a wolf and take my clothes off.

The caribou cheer, the squirrels rejoice, the birds and fish change direction.

To catch a glimpse of all this joy that is much deeper than just for the weekend.

And soon I will sit beside myself.

For the wind that fills my sails is the same one that blew me over.

When optimism fails I reach for something more.

The wind that fills my sails is the same one that blew me over.

When optimism fails I reach for something more.

And soon I will sit beside myself, yeah.

There are boys and girls living in secrecy pushed to the ground by their elders.

Forbidden to run and commanded to hide and to watch every word that they say.

I was the same until recently when I discovered the illusion.

And we’re only as free as we let ourselves be and its time we shut up and play.

I run to the woods and look around all I see is my reflection.

So I howl like I am a wolf and take my clothes off.

The caribou cheer, the squirrels rejoice, the birds and fish change direction.

To catch a glimpse of all this joy that is much deeper than just for the weekend.

Deeper than just for the weekend...

Chicago

Written By: Matt Singer

When I was a young boy I watched rocky 4 and I was very afraid of dragoNow that I’m a grownup I ain’t scared no more and I am going to ChicagoGoing to Chicago and the wind is at my backGot a tummy full of hummus and a pocket full of jackAnd I ain’t scared of nothing, not even Ivan DragoI’m all grown up and I’m going to Chicago

When I was a little dude my rents used to fight and I was deathly afraid of movingSo I turned on the tube and I turned out the loot and that was so incredibly soothingIt used to work then and I know it works nowI don’t ever have to leave unless I’m running out of chowNow I ain’t scared of nothing, not even Ivan DragoI’m all grown up and I’m going to Chicago

(chorus)Life to me is just like Rocky 4and Ivan Drago is the fear that tells me I can’t love anymoreApollo Creed is my heart, knocked out and on the floor

But Rocky Balboa is my spirit horse (repeat)

Back in high school I was jealous like Othello and my very best friend was IagoSo I quit that kid cause I was sick of being yellow And now I’m going to ChicagoGoing to Chicago and I got nothing to fearcause I like to eat potato chips and drink a lotta beernow I aint scared of nothing not even IagoI’m all grown up and I’m going to Chicago

Adrian oh Adrian from this ring you look so radiantAin’t no way I’m gonna be afraid again oh Adrian, AdrianAdrian oh Adrian said you look so goddamn radiantAin’t no way I’m going to be afraid again

The summer after freshman year my girlfriend went awayand as she left she said don’t forget mebut 8 weeks later she decided she was gay and she acted like she never even met meyou could call it irony but I just call it crap and 6 years ago I was a big fat sapnow I aint scared of nothing, not even Ivan DragoI’m all grown up and I’m going to Chicago

(chorus)+ Rocky is my spirit and Adrian can hear itIt’s loud enough to crush the pain of anybody near itI’m gonna beat up drago, I’ll do it for ApolloBut I ain’t going to RussiaI’m going to Chicago

Dynamic Public Speaker

Written By: Matt Singer

I wish I was a dynamic public speakerPeople would come from all around the worldThey would run and tell their friendsMatt Singer is speaking in public againThe most dynamic public speaker in the mother fucking world

I wish I could bone for hours without stoppingBitches would come from all around the worldThey’d tell their friends, he check it outI think he’s gonna whip it outThe most amazing dong you’ve ridden in the mother fucking world

But I’m a wholesome lover. It’s all a big charade.And I calm my senses down with a glass of lemonadeBut I’m a wholesome lover. It’s all a masqueradeAnd I calm my senses down with a glass of lemonade

I wish my art was really truly brilliantCritics would come from all around the worldThey’d say it’s brilliant, it’s a factJohn Lennon, that fucking hackThe most dynamic public speaker, with the most amazing dongThe most brilliant goddamn artist in the mother fucking world

Discography

The Drought (EP) 2008All Us Heathens (LP) 2006

Songs can be heard streaming at:

www.myspace.com/mattsingermusic AND www.thefamilyrecords.com

Set List

Original songs:Stacy JDynamic Public SpeakerOutrageousAll This JoyScaryChipChicagoThe Madden SongVHS