I am a freelance writer and parent who writes about parenting issues and the trials, tribulations, and joys of being a an older parent. I also write about other miscellaneous subjects that capture my interest. I have been published in The Boston Globe, Parents and Kids Magazine, the TAB newspapers, and COMMUNITY magazines of Newton, Brookline, and metrowest, Massachusetts.

Friday, May 18, 2012

MY TURN
Boston Parents Paper
When I became a parent a litt le
over a decade ago, I was
worried about feeling disconnected.
Th ose “in the know” warned me I
would feel isolated and long for adult
conversation. Apparently, when it
comes to connecting, the experts
agree. According to Th omas Sander,
executive director of the Saguaro
Seminar at the John F. Kennedy
School of Government at Harvard University, staying
connected is good for our mental and physical
health. He adds that establishing friendly ties lowers
stress, increases immunity, and boosts the amount of
support we receive.
Having spent 20-plus years in the working world
surrounded by adults, I thought my friends and the
experts were probably right, but fi gured I would learn
to cope. Imagine my surprise when, as a new parent,
I not only did not feel disconnected, but, rather, felt
more connected than ever before in my pre-parent life.
I’ve tried to fi gure out why I don’t miss adult
conversation and enjoy being surrounded by the
younger set. Maybe my transition to mom-hood was
helped by a post-baby, part-time work schedule. Still,
I noticed that when working at my part-time job, I
tended to sneak stealthily into the offi ce, get my work
done, and get the heck out before my colleagues
even knew I was there. I defi nitely wasn’t craving
adult interaction. What was wrong with me that I
was content to interact with babies and toddlers for a
good part of the day?
After pondering this pattern for a few weeks, I figured
out that I wasn’t disconnected at all; I was just
reconnecting to a diff erent part of my adult life. For
the fi rst time since we moved to our neighborhood,
I know our mailman’s name, that our neighbor has
two kids and three grandchildren, and that Julie and
Tom across the street run a successful business from
their home.Aside from the personal stuff , I also know what is
happening in our community. I am in
tune with the latest debate over the
local high school, who is in the lead
for alderman, and when the mayor is
holding his annual spring celebration.
In fact, I even have time to volunteer
at the library and lend a hand in my
daughter’s classroom.
Instead of racing in and out of the
grocery store on my way home from
the offi ce, I can now spend time perusing the aisles.
I know some of the checkout people if not by name
then at least by face. And I fi nally have time to debate
the best cuts of meat with the butcher.
The truth is, being at home has connected me
to a completely diff erent circle, but one I enjoy
immensely. I feel a rush of warmth when I yell
“good morning” to the delivery person, a sense of
satisfaction when I stop to chat with a neighbor
during my morning walk, and a new bond with the
parents of my daughter’s classmates.
I used to worry about what would become of
our only child. Without siblings or cousins to share
childhood milestones, would she grow into an adult
somehow lacking in basic human interaction skills?
Now I realize that our daughter will connect in
new, diff erent, and just as meaningful ways through
friends, neighbors and her community. And if she’s
really lucky, she’ll discover these connections a lot
sooner than I did. Who knew that spending my days
with the younger set would open up a whole new
adult world, too? ■
Roberta Martone Pavia is a mother and writer in Newton.
My Turn gives our readers a voice.
Interested in
submitting an opinion piece? Email us at
Boston.ParentsPaper@parenthood.com.
The opinions represented in this article do not necessarily
refl ect the views of the Boston Parents Paper.
Roberta Martone Pavia
Content is copyright protected and provided for personal use only - not for reproduction or retransmission.

Followers

Blog Archive

About Me

Roberta Martone Pavia is a marketing communications consultant/freelance writer with extensive experience in corporate and agency marketing communications, public relations, and advertising.
Since 1999, Martone Pavia has been a marketing communications consultant/freelance writer providing services for a variety of clients including FIRST; MIT Executive Education; Electric Insurance Company; Fidelity Investments; Simmons College; Simmons College School of Management (former editor of their alumnae publication); Springfield College; COMMUNITY magazines, Harvard Square Eye Care, and Dress Barn, among others. She has been published in the Boston Globe, Shattered magazine, Parents & Kids magazine, COMMUNITY magazines (Newton, Brookline, Metrowest, Massachusetts), and the TAB newspapers.