Jenna & Mark, a designer and a pastry chef, are owners of Whimsy & Spice, a Brooklyn-based bakery. Sweet Fine Day is a visual journal of two entrepreneurs juggling parenting, business, and family life in New York City.

The Mixed Race Project

But a lot of you know it’s really been 18 years, although we got married “only” 8 years ago today in Hawaii. (mmmm…how many of you want to be in Hawaii right about now?).

18 years is a long time to know someone, so if I could talk to my former self knowing what I know now, what would I say?

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It’s ok to fight once in awhile. It’s healthy, even.

Take some pictures, damn it! You’ll wish you had them to look back on when you were both long-haired youths. Also, don’t keep Mark’s hair for months after he cuts it. It’s sorta creepy even if you are superstitious about someone making a voodoo doll out of the hair or whatever you were worried about.

Your 24 year old problems aren’t that bad so stop worrying and being so grumpy about it. Because you’re going to have some real problems when you’re an adult and you’re going to have to learn how to cope and deal with it. Start learning how now.

Don’t nag so much. You’re just lucky he’s not the type to complain about the nagging.

Travel more. Go overseas to Asia. Because once you start having kids and your own business, you’re not really going to have the chance to travel much again.

Sleep. Sleep now while you can.

Don’t wait till you’re 30 to start saving money. That was real stupid to wait so long because you could have had more money in the bank at age 40 if you started saving when you got your first job out of college.

Talk to each other. Don’t just make major decisions about your life on your own (like moving back to NY) and then just announce them. Make decisions together.

Don’t waste your time wondering if he’ll ever go bald or develop a beer gut and become one of those skinny fat people. He won’t.

Even though your small Hawaii wedding was relatively cheap, don’t spend 3k on your wedding dress, even if your aunt was generous enough to pay for it as a gift. Because your brother is going to step on it and rip it right after the reception and you’re just going to hang it up at your parent’s house and never look at it again. Spend the money elsewhere or save it.

It doesn’t really matter that you think you have little in common in terms of pop culture references. So what if he can’t recall any episode of the Brady Bunch or share how the deep lyrics of Morrissey or Robert Smith saved you in high school or get any quotable references of any John Hughes movie. That stuff doesn’t matter later on and it won’t play a factor in any major life decisions that need to be made.

Don’t worry so much about any lack of ambition that you might think he has. Because he’s going to prove that he’s a harder worker than anyone you know and you’ll discover that actually, of the 2 of you, you’re the lazier one.

Don’t question whether or not you’re making the right choice. You won’t be rich and have a country house and you won’t ever get to be a stay-at-home mom, but you’ll have a nice life and 2 of the cutest and smartest kids you’ll ever meet. Money is not everything.

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We’re not really big on gifts and stuff on anniversaries, so we’re just all going out for a family sushi meal. The weekend has been given over to Etsy orders anyway, but things are actually quite calm and manageable. Oh, and this goofy picture? Mark and I can’t take a good photo of ourselves if our life depended on it. I had considered it for our Etsy feature, but decided last minute to use the one with Claudine just because it makes me laugh. Also, I am standing on a box. Mark is 6’3″ and I am 5’6″. Just in case you were wondering…

Aloha from Hawaii! It’s lovely I came across your website today for the first time and it is your anniversary!!! I love to bake too and I owned a makeup company in Hawaii. visit my blog at http://justminerals.blogspot.com

Congratulations, 18 years is a long time you guys have 2 precious little girls! Just lovely!

“Travel more. Go overseas to Asia. Because once you start having kids and your own business, you’re not really going to have the chance to travel much again.”

I hear you, loud and clear. Thanks for the advice. Childless, 28 year old me is going to take it.

Also? Let me know if you want me to do a portrait session with you guys, totally on the house. I’m just now starting to take it seriously as a business (AmberMarlow.com) and it would be good PR for me.

I *love* the photo – I looked at it awhile before reading your post. I love this introspective, sweet, thoughtful look at your past 8 (18) years together. I could say many of the same things about myself and my marriage. Happy anniversary! (Now, how about a picture of that dress??)

I LOVE this photo of you two! Congratulations on all your love and successes.
And thank you for your words of experience, I’m getting married in two weeks.
Wishing you many, many more years of love and goodness!

I just have to say I love your blog. I’ve been following it for a while. What you said- telling your past self not to worry about his ambition really hit home for me. I’m only 20 but there’s this guy I was crazy about and yet I was worried about that of all things…

Happy Anniversary! Ours is only a week later. We are not big on exchanging gifts on our anniversary, either and I asked my husband a couple of days ago if we could go out for a sushi dinner on our anniversary with our kids!! So cute that you are standing on a box! 5’6″ for Asian women is pretty tall. I’m also Asian, 5’7″ and my husband is 6′, but when I am in a photo with him wearing flat shoes, I feel like I’m short although I’m not. If you ever decide to travel to Indonesia (Bali is one of the most popular resort destination) in the next 3 years, we’ll be there.

Congratulations — on the anniversary and the Etsy feature. Anyone who lists Feldman along with The Smiths as their faves (and just about any of the other artists you mentioned, for that matter) is pretty cool in my book!

Beautiful story! Next June 13 my husband and I will complete 15 years together and all your tips and advices about “life together” are totally truth and real. Congrats for both of you and for your great journey together! You´re so motivational!

Congratulations! My husband (to whom I showed this post) got all smug and “See there! See there!” when he read your stats. We have known each other for 11 years and married (also in Hawaii) for almost 5 – and I still give him a hard time about it. 5’6″ is pretty tall, really, don’t you think? I’m the same height and have only met one other Korean woman taller – an aunt who is 5’7″.

Ha! I’m over from etsy- fun to find that we have the same wedding anniversary! We celebrated 11 years on Sat. but have been together 19. Since I was 15. Uh-huh.
I loved your thoughts about pop-culture references! haha- that was so me!

Happy Anniversary! You’ve been with each other almost half of your lives! That says a lot right there. I love the picture of you both in front of your shelf of labels….quite a partnership I really like your notes from your experience….like start saving before 30 and letting people know when your moving across the country. My husband and I have been together 14 years and married for 12 and have loved the adventure that life brings..twins, cross country move from SF Bay area to the midwest six years ago, renovating buildings, making jewelry and baking for all the kids fundraisers. You both are a great inspiration, may you have a gazillion more wonderful years together! Thanks so much for your blog, it’s always a bright spot in my day!

Thoughts going through my head as I was reading this… “uh huh. Yep. Oops. Totally. Of course. Ouch. I do that. Preach. I’m a jerk.” Good reminders for me, especially after 10 years together. Thanks so much for the laugh and the look in the mirror:)

hi hi! i have been reading your blog forever but i have never commented, which is officially becoming weird. you have such a beautiful family and i love reading your blog. congratulations to you and mark! also, now that i have broken the comment seal, i will be commenting like mad. i may go back and read older entries and just make a day of it! j/k, congratulations again guys!

Happy anniversary! I can’t believe it’s been exactly one year since I’ve read your last anniversary post. It’s been about a year since I’ve been following your blog and I find everything you write so inspirational, especially this blog in particular. I’m 25 and have been with my boyfriend (hopefully fiance someday!) for about 8 years now and I can relate very much to your post. To many more years of happiness!

Great post and Happy Anniversary! My husband and I have been together since 1991 and will be married 11 years come August. So I totally understand this post! 19 years altogether for us and I could come up with some what I know now thoughts too! Ha

hi jenna… I’m just reading this post now, linked from your 9 years, 19 years post. it really resonated with me. not just the year part (I’m getting married next month on our 9th anniversary of dating)… but everything you said. so thank you for sharing. happy, happy anniversary.