INSTAGRAM FRIENDSHIP STRUGGLES

June 8, 2017

Hello lovelies!!!

OUCH – it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted and maybe some of you are wondering why. First off, I do apologize as I know some of you check back from time to time. But thank you so much for dropping by, I always appreciate the support!

I’m going to write about this once and that’s all. I will be finished with this subject and make peace with myself after this blog post.

I guess I can only explain my absence as being super unmotivated by social media – namely, Instagram’s frequent changes coupled with all of the dishonesty and unethical behavior by way too many “influencers”, bloggers and content creators. I totally get it – Instagram is a business and they want us to start paying into our business on their app. Sounds fair to me. I have no issues with that. But I’m struggling with the fact that many I’ve met and followed on Instagram have been or are starting to behave unethically. The fact that I know and have met and chilled with these people is what makes me sad, frustrated and left disappointed. Maybe you are in the same position as myself. And you can relate to how I feel about this issue. I’m happy to hear I’m not alone!

Many times I find myself at the “follow” button of Instagram and about to hit unfollow. Then I think of the great times we’ve had and how lovely they are in person. And I find myself trying to understand why they chose to go this route. At the conclusion of it all, I do believe it’s a business decision. But in my opinion, not a very honest or wise one. It’s frustrating to see them work on brand campaigns, knowing full well they are lying and cheating on their numbers and engagement. Some are actually so great at hiding it, it’s almost undetectable. But if you look closely, it’s easy to spot a cheater, especially if you know what you’re looking for.

And no, I don’t really have that much time on my hands to care about every person I’m suspicious about. But when I suspect it of a friend, and it’s true, I feel truly sad and disappointed. They can blame it on Instagram’s changes all they want, but in the end, that was the choice they made. And it’s a choice I cannot respect. I myself could never live with a lie like this. To build yourself up with nothing but a fake reality – I would feel ashamed and embarrassed, and I would constantly be living in fear that someone could find out at any moment and my career could be derailed. HELLO. I’m the someone who found out. And if I know, it’s likely others know. They may not want to talk about it, but it’s time for me to break the silence.

My close blogger friends and I talk about this issue frequently. It truly breaks our heart when we find out another has succumbed to the darkness of social media. Thank goodness we have each other to keep us focused and strong. THANK YOU LADIES – you know who you are. I’m in the same boat as many as I myself am struggling to hit the engagement that I once had and also grow like I once did. And any honest grammer would know what real engagement looks like.

These are not bad people. They are actually so kind and caring, supportive and super talented! Maybe they just found themselves going down a dark road in which they may not feel it’s easy to turn back from.

So here is my plea.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I understand that we’re human and make mistakes and maybe that isn’t the person you ever wanted to become. Whatever reason that brought you to this place of dishonesty, it doesn’t make it right to make a living out of a lie. You could very well have cheated a fantastic opportunity away from a deserving and honest person. But it’s never too late to stop and do the right thing. I know it’s going to be tough, and people are going to see the real you. But I will respect you for being brave enough to stop. My hope is that you will be proud of what you’ve achieved, knowing you are doing something you love and are 100% real and honest about it. Now on the other hand, if this all comes down to being a business decision and you don’t see anything wrong with it, then cool. We can agree to disagree and this is probably where we part ways in our Instagram friendship.

With everything that has changed within this once happy community, I am still thankful for all of the opportunities social media has provided me. And after this post, I will stop these negative thoughts that invade me whenever I log into the app. I want my Instagram feed to be a place where I once found happiness and inspiration. Where I can interact with people that support each other but are also real and honest.

I don’t mean to be a big baby and cry about it. But I’m happy to finally get it off my chest. Even if this doesn’t pertain to you, at least it gives you insight into the influencer world and just one of the many interesting tidbits about it.

Thank you so much for reading and I promise, only positive posts from now on!!! Enjoy the denim on denim outfit, shot in my fav city, London! 😀

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21 Comments

It’s so disappointing to find out people you respect are fakers and cheaters! It’s really sad, and I don’t think that calling them out is negative at all. I feel this post was very uplifting, thank you for sharing! I Love you!

Wow. This was powerful. I have to be honest, I’m a new blogger so I’m not really sure what you’re talking about but I definitely can see where something dishonest can come out of this community and it kind of freaks me out a bit and also gives me the drive to continue to be true to myself and those who follow along with my journey. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing this. Xo.

I’m not a blogger but IG is my site/app that I browse most frequently. You’re right, by way too many “influencers”, bloggers and content creators, now on IG. It seems very saturated. However, I do love my ‘small’ community of IGers that share the same interest as me. As your account grows, it becomes more and more difficult to grow your following. And I understand your ‘beef’ about this and how people would go to great lengths to try to make their account look more ‘influential’. Recently, I made my account private as I find that there are too many unwanted negativity from strangers that I do not feel the need to justify my choices/posts. I guess you fbloggers learn to have thick-skin and not allow negativity affect your values, beliefs, and feelings. But it’s hard not too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this and your insight into the influencer world and just one of the many interesting tidbits about it!
PS enjoying your London diary very much- heading there in July, for the 1st time!!!

Hi Shirley! I agree, social media can be such a negative place and somewhat superficial. I do think keeping a group of friends who can relate to you is positive and healthy especially when navigating through this big bad ig world. I definitely have made a cleanse and am starting not to dread going into my instagram. Hope you keep your head up and thanks for your message! Xx

Thank you for this! I’m a fellow blogger and I am proud that my following has grown organically! It’s just sad when people go down this route and really it’s troubling because they shouldn’t put all their eggs in once basket. They should be concentrating on their followers and real engagement because those people will follow them on other channels and stop by their blogs. Those are the followers you want who honestly love your content.

Love your feed and blog! Refreshing to see other bloggers tell the truth and keeping it real 🙂
Leslie

TEE!! I couldn’t have said it better babe. It’s like a huge elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about! But we all know who they all are!!! But it’s getting to the point where we all need to speak up. Well or at least we can choose who we want to be friends with. I’m here to find a genuine friendship that’s not based on lies. Thanks for saying what we all feel babe!!!!

Thanks so much for sharing this as it take guts especially when you have close friends that have succumbed to this dark path . You said it all and nothing more to add.. traits like this makes it so hard for aspiring bloggers as well. Hope this message got across. Real engagement is the key. I treat IG as my second job and some days i don’t feel motivated I just stay away but I believe in honesty and letting things take it rightful course. Love this
Sonishspace.com

Hi Sonia! Sometimes I can’t even go onto Instagram but after writing this post and having deleted some “friends” its gotten a little better. A good cleanse here and there is definitely good for the soul. Thanks for the lovely message and keep it up! Xx

Hey Jen! Absolutely agree! Genuine followers follow you because they are loving what you’re doing or what you’re about. This kind of support is so important for a person’s authenticity. Keep it up babe! Xx

Tee! It’s soo true and it drives me mad as well! It’s so unfair on us who tries to do it the honest way, and it makes it SO hard when you see how slow things are going and others just sky rocket . We just need to be patient and I believe karma will do its thing sooner or later. Plus I don’t even know how these people sleep at night knowing they are faking it. It’s on them and they know that so it is enough pain for them knowing that they are actually have “nothing” . We on the other had some of our loyal followers even if it’s not that much we know that we ACTUALLY have them.

Hey Stacy! I truly believe in karma and getting what you deserve. I think you should be proud that you are doing things the right way and you will be rewarded! Thank you so much for this message and keep going babe! Xx

Oh my gosh. Couldn’t have said it better my self. I often find my self in those same feelings. And know so many that have chosen that same path. And I would rather have no followers than fake my way to the “top”

[…] purely inauthentic engagement. This topic on its own warrants a separate post for another day. Peep Tee’s post on unethical Instagram behaviour that I fully agree is wrong to do, but people just can’t […]