Heidi Montag or Barbie with a circulatory system?

Completely out of character for an attention-starved blow-up doll, Heidi Montag hasn’t been photographed by the paparazzi since late November. Turns out she’s been spending a small fortune having her chin sanded down and giving the ol’ jugs an extra quart of saline. But to prove Heidi’s still the same vapid pile of “MEEE!!” under there, she’s making up for lost publicity by chronicling her experience for the latest issue of People:

“For the past three years, I’ve thought about what to have done,” the reality star tells PEOPLE. “I’m beyond obsessed.”
And so, on Nov. 20, Montag’s total transformation began. Keeping even her family in the dark, the starlet chronicled every painful moment of recovery and her journey to become “the best me.”

Good for Heidi. I’ve always felt a woman shouldn’t stop getting questionable surgery after questionable surgery until the voices in her head tell her she’s finally beautiful. Kanye’s mom knows what I’m talking about.

Dear Heidi,
When I look at pictures of you from a couple years ago, you are truly disgusting. You’re slowly getting there, but have a ways to go before you approach CoCo level hotness. Keep troopering ahead!

wtf is going on with the skin between her nose and upper lip? Looks dark … is she sporting a carefully coiffed, blonde-dyed moustache or something?

Heidi Montag = ICK. Look up the word “vapid” in the dictionary and her picture will be there.

How, exactly, does all this surgery work with her Christianity? I didn’t realize that it was okay for people to tinker with what God gave her. Hypocritical, yet so typical of her. Can you please take her off your list of people to whom you give attention and coverage?