Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Was it a bird…was it a plane...?

A bitch is finishing up a training in lovely Austin…love this city like a frozen margarita on a hot day!

Hopefully this slow as hell high speed internet connection will maintain long enough for me to get this post up.

Gulp.

Anyhoo, I was going to write about that memoir-based disclosure from President George W. Bush that his mother showed him her miscarried fetus in a jar…but um, well…yeah, that proved to be TMI even for a crazy ass bitch like me.

Apparently something streaked across the California sky the other day.

Lots of folks captured video and pictures of whatever-the-fuck-it-was…government agencies claim they can’t confirm what the hell it was…and NORAD has confirmed that there wasn’t a foreign missile launch.

Sooooo…what the fuck was it?

Shark-Fu’s speculation about what the fuck it was…

#1 Meg Whitman is tired of you trifling motherfuckers!

Whitman spent more money than some countries spend yearly on basic operational shit in her failed bid to become the Ruler of California…and this bitch suspects that she woke up this week, pondered the prospect of having to explain/defend that shit through the next couple of months and said “fuck this shit!”, jumped in her personalized space shuttle and took off for Mars.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Or.

#2 The Demon Sheep have left the planet!

After working their asses off in a series of commercials…first for Carly Fiorina’s failed run for Senate in California, then for the Dems’ spoof of Carly Fiorina’s ad, and so forth and so on…the Demon Sheep were kicked to the post-election curb without so much as an extra patch of grass.

Wrongness!

A bitch is thinking that they organized, commandeered Whitman’s space shuttle and then took to the sky to search for a planet more tolerant of unemployed red-eyed demon possessed sheep.

I bet people on the ground heard something along the lines of “Bhaaaaaaaaaa motherfuckers!”

Wink.

Or.

#3 Rand Quaid and his wife Evi partnered with the Demon Sheep and Meg Whitman to get the hell off planet.

What?

Well, shit - that’s as plausible as some random motherfucker launching a fucking rocket in California without it landing anywhere in California...yet.