Dumbass Pages

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

You can shop, pay bills, find information on almost anything, even find a spouse. However, with all this electronic convenience comes plenty of electronic danger - stolen IDs, credit card fraud, prostitution, even death.

Having said all that, the World Wide Web is an incredible tool, with the benefits of it far outweighing its downside. I would think that any almost sane person would know and recognize the warning signs of a bad thing on the net. Still, there are Dumbasses who put themselves in situations that could lead to bad things happening to them.

You just know that I am going somewhere with this, don't you?

There's this Dumbass out in Cal-ee-forn-ya who found an iPhone for sale on Craigslist. Interested in in buying the phone, he set up a meeting with the seller.

The meeting was, get ready for this, to be held behind a Carl's Jr'! This is one of those bad things I mentioned up there^^^ Did I tell you that the dumbass had $500 cash money on him to purchase the iPhone with?

If you said the "seller" of the iPhone pulls a semiautomatic pistol and robbed the Dumbass with $500, you win a Dumbass Dinky Button.

The Police were as dumbfounded as anybody about this crime.

A cop from the local PD said, "Broad daylight in a public place -- you really can't ask for anything more than that," the cop said. "This is so new, we don't really have guidelines on it," he said of criminals using online sales to lure victims."Just be careful."
Just be careful indeed.

The cop actually said this with a straight face. He saved the side-busting laughter for later when there were no reporters around.

Here are some tips from Dumbass News that you should follow when making a face to face transaction with someone on the internet:

Rule 1) Schedule the meeting to be in a public place like inside the Carl's Jr. Better yet follow:

Rule 2) Get a fucking PayPal account! They are FREE to set up and you'll avoid a lot of hassles that could lead to, let's say, armed robbery!

Rule 3) Go to Best Buy or some other retailer. You can buy an iPhone there and even set up service with a Major Telecommunications Giant, like Verizon or AT&T for $500 and they won't even pull a semiautomatic pistol on you.

Rule 4) Major Telecommunications Giants will rip you off like a motherfucker. They are armed with a two year contract instead of a .45.

Rule 5) Caveat emptor, which is Latin for "bend over and take it like prison bitch" now that you've signed a two year contract with a Major Telecommnications Giant.