Why PUA Techniques Don't Work:

You can't beat this without hitting bottom. And once you've hit bottom, you're not looking down on other people: you're looking up.

I think of the scene from "Fight Club" where Tyler Durden forces the Asian guy, at gunpoint, to return to his studies. It's at that moment, facing death as a failure, that you realize that anything would be better than this.

And so, you're looking up. As long as they're fighting, they're fighting for something better. God save them, and us.

Happy Lent. Mine has been a failure so far: and that means it has been a success. Lent, taken seriously, is also about hitting bottom. It lets you know that you ought to love the man who is your enemy, because a man like you deserves an enemy. The man you ought to hate is the man who will accommodate you as you are.

I've been serious about it; and I've kept the fast except once, when at my wife's suggestion I gave in for reasons of health. Beer seems to be helpful to me in driving off colds, and indeed, my acceptance of her proposed break in the fast did in fact drive away the cold.

Nevertheless, I had meant to keep it perfectly; perhaps it would have been better to suffer a mild illness than to break the fast. It was easy to accept what seemed like a good argument for doing what I wanted to do anyway. So, I must admit to having failed; I shall try again.

Indeed. As a young child I'd never even heard any country music until I heard Hank Williams on one of those commercials for a "Greatest Hits" album you could send on for in the mail. It was instant love.

It's interesting that I chose the same Lenten observance as you: no booze. I often do. It always surprises me how hard a practice it is to keep. It's a lesson in how little control I have over my impulsive behavior, and what a good idea it is to practice keeping a vow.

Before the invention of Celebration Ale, which is my favorite beer in the world (but only available during the month or so before Christmas), I used to give up beer from Thanksgiving to Christmas. This wasn't a religious vow, but just to save some extra money to spend on others instead.

Like you, I always found it hard to keep up after a couple of weeks. Friends would be having Christmas parties, and wine was flowing; or we'd go to dinner with some friend who was passing through town on Holiday travels; and so forth and so on. Or (as on this occasion) I'd come down with a cold; or...

So I'd usually end up 'giving it up' in a most imperfect manner. I never had any trouble adhering to General Order #1 in Iraq, because the environment supported it: there was no beer or wine around, no one else was drinking, and (thanks to the dry desert air) I was never sick. It wasn't just that I couldn't get a beer if I wanted one, as much as it was that I never really wanted one in that environment. It's surprising how much a difference that makes -- I mean, how much a difference it makes to have a community structured toward virtue.

Sometimes I forget that on the internet, inflection doesn't exist- I was just ribbing... Sorry if that came across as preachy.

Grim, even the Pope would allow for medicine- so long as that was the actual case- and I've no doubt for you it was. Now, if you feel that the act of self-flagellation )of a sort- allowing the possibly preventable cold is taking on suffering, not merely accepting it) is a more sincere penance to God, then you should have opted for the cold. I've a hunch that's not your direction with this.

"It's surprising how much a difference that makes -- I mean, how much a difference it makes to have a community structured toward virtue."

Indeed, and it's why a culture that values 'diversity' and asks for non-judgmentalism- whatever that is, is so dangerous. But we're to the point where you can't reach those people unless you adhere to the structure they've established to some degree.