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To kiss or not to kiss. That is the question.

You’ve approached a beautiful woman, she’s attracted to you, you get her phone number, you run some killer text game and get her super excited to meet up with you for a date, she actually shows up for that date and doesn’t flake, you’re on the date and you’re dying to shove your tongue down her throat but… Do you or don’t you?

Excuses start to arise in your head as to whether or not she may want to be kissed. You can hear this voice in your head saying, “What if she’s not ready, or what if I get rejected?”

In the wonderful land of pick-up education there is a lot of information out there and a ton of savvy marketers trying to teach you or sell you on the idea of, “How to tell if She’s ready to be kissed.” I’m a victim of this myself or at least was a victim of this mentality before I got good with women.

Last week I was out running around NYC hittin’ on chicks with a student and during one of my demo’s my student says, “She was ready to kiss you!” and then asked, “But how can you tell that she’s ready to be kissed and how can you be sure?” Which got me thinking. Hmmmmmm.

First I thought, this guy is pretty new at the game, so why is he so sure that she wanted to be kissed based on such little actual in-field experience and secondly I started to answer his question about how to tell if “SHE’S” ready when it dawned on me that what I, 9 out of 10 times do right before I kiss a girl is completely different than what the seduction community teaches!

Sure, there are times when women will give you tell tale signs that she’s ready to be kissed and I’m not going to go over them here but when you do get those signs you can either go in for the kiss or use her desire to be kissed to build up sexual tension… But, there are times when she’s not giving you any signs or the “I wanna kiss you eyes.”

So, like I was saying, the community teaches us to recognize her little female nuances and mannerisms to tell if she’s ready to be kissed but what I usually do contradicts mainstream kiss knowledge and education.

I hate the idea of waiting until she is good and ready for me to kiss her. Why? We are the man and she’s supposed to be compliant to us, right? If that’s the case, why are we waiting around until she heats up enough and we get enough signs that her glossy-red lips are ready for your tongue?

Truth be told and thanks to the question my student asked, I realized that I haven’t been following this advice since day one.

When I’m on date or we’re back at my place I always finding myself, usually way before I get the “I wanna kiss you eyes” deciding for myself that it’s time to kiss her and get the ball rolling. I realized that I usually never wait around until she’s ready to be kissed. I realized that I kiss her and escalate her when I’m ready to. I realized that most of the decision to go forward in a sexual manor is my decision not hers. Sure she’s into it and responds/ follows my lead accordingly but I decide when I’m ready to be kissed and not the other way around.

I also realized that if I decide to kiss her and she says NO that there is a huge risk on her part for not kissing the boy she likes. She intuitively knows that I’m a very sexual man and pretty damn Alpha with a ton of sexual options and that if she doesn’t comply to my demands which is what she wants to really do anyway that I MIGHT REJECT HER for bad behavior and non-compliance! What a place of power to come from.

When I decide that I want to kiss her and take things very sexual, my mind automatically goes into a very sexual state and remember that all mental states are energy and all energy is 100% transeferable. So, if I start to get sexual in my mind, my body, energy and everything I do from that point on is very sexually charged and she will pick up on this and will follow without doubt (providing she is attracted to you). That is what her mind is programmed to do. She has no choice. Women by nature are compliant and submissive to the man they like and you can use this to your advantage.

This whole waiting until she’s good and ready to be kissed is BULLSHIT BETA behavior! We are them men and we as men decide when and if to take action. How Alpha is to wait until she’s ready to be kissed? Create the sexual environment for her to swim around in and she will put on her bikini and do what women do best, swim! (That was a really weird analogy… But you get the picture)

Next time you’re out there with a chick, decide on whether or not she’s attracted to you and then create the sexual/mood state and watch her follow. Kiss her when you’re ready to be kissed not the other way around!!!

Please leave me some comments. you guys are the lifeblood of this blog and I love hearing from all of you!

Also, there are only a few seats left in my upcoming workshop on July 20-22nd. It’s my first one in years so I know it’s going to be extra crazy and exciting. You can read more about it and sign up here!

On my weekend bootcamp you will learn more about this philosophy and I will teach you powerful ways to create that sexual environment for her to swim around in. I’ll also teach you many ways to escalate her so that when YOU decide that you want to kiss her she will gladly return the favor!

15 thoughts on “To kiss or not to kiss. That is the question.”

I can see where you’re coming from and it’s definitely a different point of few. If you’re in that sexual state and have attraction, I’m sure she’ll be giving of all the signals that guys get told to look for anyway. Then again, sometimes girls show nothing so definitely a better way of looking at it.

Short term for guys who haven’t built up their sexual identity that long, it would be best to just go for it when your gut says so? As long as one stays nonreactive, a rejection has gained attraction in my experience.

I thought this was a cool post, its a great reframe of a common problem. Your right in that reacting is a bit beta and leading is definitely alpha and that most of the “wait until shes ready to be kissed” information comes from the place with the implied *IF YOU KNOW SHES READY TO BE KISSED THEN AT LEAST YOU’LL NEVER GET REJECTED AND HOW HORRIBLE THAT WILL BE BLAH BLAH BLAH…..*

I have to call you out though for *completely* contradicting yourself. In one of your previous posts your like “Its really important to wait for the right time to go for the kiss and if you go for it and fail she’ll know your not experienced and will lose attraction” (or something like that). Which is exactly the opposite of what your saying here.

Thanks for calling me out… Here’s the deal with the girl in the post that I wasn’t sure about… She was giving me nothing and although I was not sure how to handle it, the one thing I know I’m good at is “creating sexual tension”. I waited on kissing her for three reasons.

1) Whether or not she was ready to be kissed… I was NOT ready! I love toying with a woman and my first kiss is always the kiss to get her into bedroom!Mentally I was trying to figure out where she was. I wasn’t really thinking about kissing her. it was more of a mental game at that point.
2) I knew that if I could do a better job at setting the mood for my escalation on her she would melt into my arms and was willing to wait.
3) I wasn’t at the point of risking it with a badly timed kiss.

Yes… We create the moment but the moment should still be right. Maybe I should have clarified that.

I always love reading your posts and always get a lot from them. What I’m getting from this, more than just the kiss thing, is more in general having an attitude of “she’s the one at risk of getting rejected by me” and not the other way around, which to me seems like would lead to success in other areas as well.

As you know, I am at the intermediate level, working on getting to the advanced, full Alpha Male level your at.
This blog. reinforces that not waiting, or hesitating, for her response is like the boundary, the brick wall, I am getting better at tearing down and gets me to the beginning of the advanced level of Seduction your at.
Plus Glenn, it reminds of the Brad P axiom “She is in front of me!! she is interested/attracted!!” “Keep going !” I think this may have ALSO been lurking around your unheard thinking wrt the Miller Post above. I believe some where else I heard that the “anguish/regret of YOU not knowing is even worse then YOU not trying.

For me, and things I observe of others at this level and below, I go out and sarge with, HESITATING, WAITING for her to be ready has been the killer. Waiting for her to be ready IS (per Tony Robbins) the WRONG ACTION to take to get the RESULTS I want. The RESULT to make my BELIEF as a Man that Seduces real. To manifest, reinforce my role as a Seducer, my being as a male animal, and growth in my POTENTIAL as a male human being.
(per Tony Robbins)A RESULT that leads to taking more actions to have the main RESULT I am after, the MAIN REASON I got into doing and succeeding at pick up = having more sex with different women, bringing out that passionate animal slut in her and me Some sort of connection is a good thing too.
(per Tony Robbins)Getting this RESULT; makes my BELIEF as a Man that Seduces real. To manifest, reinforce my role as a Seducer, my being as a male, and growth of my human potential as a male human being.

The key FIRST RESULT for me to get, that Glenn P and the Brad P system I think does the best job of doing, is FIRST get interest and attraction.

NOW I am working on getting better at taking actions that as Glenn P does, teaches, coaches, per above, create the sexual/mood state and watch her follow my leads to the attain the main RESULTs I am after, the MAIN REASON I got into doing and succeeding at pick up = having more sex with different women, bringing out that passionate animal slut in her. Connection may be another result too.
(per Tony Robbins)Getting this RESULT; makes my BELIEF as a Man that Seduces real. To manifest, reinforce my role as a Seducer, my being as a male, and growth of my human potential as a male human being.

(per Tony Robbins) NOT getting RESULTS of some thing NEW, 97% of people say, “fuck it, I do not BELIEVE I am a _ _ _ or will ever attain _ _ _ I quit. Look at the results I am getting that prove my (false) Belief !” I quit.

I never though about it this way but it explains why once i go through my warm up sets the remaining sets seem to respond better and better becuase my energy gets better and better, specially after a harsh blowout. if i was to focus on my sexual energy, does this mean that after every blowout my sexual energy will gain momentum and be stronger? dont know if i am phrasing the question correctly so let me try again, if i go out and even before i start my warm ups i get myself in the mentality of FUCKING the shit out of every chick i see, does my sexual energy increase after every set?

Here’s a little GlennP secret that I’ve never shared before. When I used to go out during the daytime and achieve same-day lays before I left my house I would watch porno flicks for about an hour or so and then go sarge! My sexual state was through the roof! Try it… It works!

My thing is,I do online coaching,but I don’t think iK5 do good with an actual bootcamp or being in field with students who may think that they can spot certain things when they don’t have in-field experience.

Newbies never piss me off. Their new and still trying to find their way in the PUA world. I hear everything under the sun from them and I either agree or disagree and show them otherwise with tact… But newbies are still trying to find their voice and with so much pride and ego on the line with being new to the amount of rejection they are or might receive I encourage them to speak freely and develop a more humble approach to meeting women and being coached!