Cheetah fined for using special Wildebeest lanes

A Cheetah has received a record fine and faces having his license revoked after repeatedly flouting the new Concrete Jungle Traffic Management system (dubbed 'Moto-Moto' by CJ motorists). The cheetah's lawyer, a reptile, claims his client has been 'fleeced' for a minor offence, and that "the Wildebeest lane is often empty anyway".

The head of CJ Traffic Management, Sir Reginald Chopsley, (distinguished as the first Black Rhino to be elevated to a senior post), has given stern guidance on the matter: "The multiple-occupancy status of this lane is intended to be 'stampede' (or orderly migration, outside of the rush hour). Single carnivores flouting the system are strictly prohibited."

The new traffic management guidelines have met with some criticism, particularly from the smaller species who have found their lanes merging with other traffic at hazardous points, leaving them vulnerable to being squished.
"The pachyderms are the worst. They just can't see us when they are turning, if they even bother to look", whinged a dik-dik.

Boris the blond Boor champions the arrival of the pachyderms and claims more people should ride them, though he does regret the casualties. We tried to get a quote from Boris on this issue, but he was too busy making a fool of himself.

The Rhino traffic police have vowed to impose on-the-spot penalties for a number of offences. "We are particularly watchful of jackals and hyenas, who seem to think it is funny to accelerate when they see kids crossing the road," rumbled Reginald. "Bloody road hogs."

Like it, Squudge. Many cars share their names with animals. I myself used to drive a Singer Gazelle. Perhaps Boris could drive off in one, mumbling something about a congestion charge. The traffic police complain they simply can't catch the speeding Cougars 'in these stupid little Panda Cars'; especially when they're held up by a zebra crossing. 'We're just left sitting here, watching the ten-o'clock gnus.' Etc.