There are no words

It took me a long time to get to sleep on Monday night. Not because the Warriors lost, but because I genuinely could not understand what I had witnessed. Even now, at the time of writing, I can’t comprehend what I saw. Has there ever been a poorer performance from a side so talented?

What I feel now is even more confusing. Angry? Disillusioned? Betrayed? That’s not quite it.

I do feel loss of some sort, like something inside of me that existed before kick-off is now no longer there. Is it hope? Maybe, but then it isn’t that drastic, because I know deep down that the hope will always be there, that the hope will never leave. I can’t pinpoint what it is that’s gone — a glimmer, a sparkle, perhaps? Whatever it is, I’d like it to come back soon.

There’s certainly an element of disappointment, of frustration, of heartbreak. Every time it seems like things might turn around, that things might just have clicked, these losses strike like a kick in the guts. This one in particular has left me crumpled and winded on the floor. It feels like emptiness, but how can you be empty when you have a million and one thoughts that fill your head?

I am not alone. The whole of Warrior Nation is hurting. There’s already been a backlash, and it might not be over yet. I wish I had something inspirational to say, a hidden gem of wisdom to explain away the doubt and the disappointment. But I’m afraid I can offer nothing.