Category Archives: Relationships

If y’all don’t like me airing my dirty laundry, then go check out ESPN or the latest news about North Korea preparing to nuke Austin, Texas (get out while you can, Pat!)

Three years ago today, I got a phone call at 12:10 pm…

HER: What are you doing?

ME: We had a half day of work for Good Friday, so we’re heading up to Winking Lizard for a few drinks and some wings.

HER: It’s nice outside, I thought you were gonna go home and do yardwork?

ME: I’m gonna take care of that… in a couple hours, though, if that’s alright.

HER: (Yelling) IT’S NOT ALRIGHT! YOU NEED TO PICK UP THE KIDS AND GO HOME AND WORK IN THE YARD!

ME: I hung up the phone…

Several additional nasty phone calls followed, all with myself on the receiving end.

That was April 2nd, 2010…

After 5,333 days, or almost 15 years, of marriage… I was done getting treated like a piece of shit…

What did I do wrong? I have no answer as I still have no clue. I busted my ass for my family! She and I got married in August of ’95 and Alexis came in April of ’97. Most of my friends had been chased off by her before Alexis was born. I’ve always worked hard, but when it came down to it I picked up a second job, at the Garfield Heights Home Depot in August of 2000, when our second daughter, Brooke, was born, to help cover the ($15,000 a year) day care costs.

I would work from 8-5 at my full time job, come home to fix dinner, then go work at Home Depot from 7-midnight; 3 days a week. I also worked full weekends at Home Depot, so for five years I worked 71 hours a week and missed out on Alexis growing up from age 3-8 and Brooke from birth to 5… I missed trips to the zoo. Birthday parties… I missed a lot of shit…

Through all that, in my spare time I took care of the kids, the yard, the house and built a beautiful deck on the back of “her” house…

To support our family and the added financial strain of multiple children, she fought against any additional work and merely continued to work 40 hours a week and was too tired for any family activity after her grueling 8 hour days… and weekends off…

At some time in ’05 we moved to Brunswick and I transferred to the Brunswick Home Depot as an appliance salesman… for 32 hours a week… in addition to my shitty full time job at the time…

In February of ’06, everything changed… my buddy Frank The Mayor of Funtown, referred me for my current job. I was excited because, based on the figures I was told, I wouldn’t have to work two jobs any more! So I quit my Home Depot job, accepted my current job, and went to Daytona for the week to enjoy some racing…

On Valentine’s Day (2/14/06) of ’06, we were all drivin’ to Daytona, and my wife blew me off when I called to make sure she got the flowers I’d sent. I later found out, through multiple sources, that she was “friends” with some dude…

Of course she denies this…. I still don’t get it…

And, recently, she’s messed with a lot of legal aspects of our agreements… so we shall see…

I posted this a ways back, but with a decision from the Supreme Court coming soon, I felt this needed mentioned again…

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55 hour marriage to Jason Alexander and Kim Kardashian’s 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries would be destroyed.

Waaaaay too much ass there Kim!

6) The only valid marriages are those which produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

Tesla is an odd sort of band that never really fit in when they hit the scene in 1986, in the midst if the hair/glam band era. They’ve always been a t-shirt and jeans band, their music falling under the hard rock genre… driven by a fantastic mix of acoustic and electric guitarin’, topped off by the interesting vocals of Jeff Kieth…

I was immediately a fan upon hearing their first big hit…

~ Little Suzi ~

Tesla fun fact: They derived the name of the band, some album and song titles, and even some of their song content from events relating to Serbian-American inventor and electrical engineer Nikola Tesla.

One of these days I’m gonna write about Nikola Tesla, as he’s a fascinating man who was essentially fucked over by Thomas Edison… But right now we’re talkin’ about the band Tesla, so here’s their ode to Mr. Tesla…

~ Edison’s Medicine ~

I’ve gotta include the lyrics for this one, because it’s a little education on Nikola Tesla…

You’re guilty of crime in the first degree,
Second and third as well.
My jury finds you’ll be serving your time
When you go straight to hell.

‘Cause he was Lord of the Lightning,
Though “socially fright’ning”,
But never out to sell.

Their nickels and pence
Meant more than did sense,
And not the sensible thing.

Nor did the man outta time, man outta time.
Thought you was crazy. You was one of a kind.
Man outta time, man outta time.
All along, world was wrong. You was right.

All that he saw, all he conceived,
They just could not believe.
Steinmetz and Twain were friends that remained,
Along with number three.
He was electromagnetic, completely kinetic,
“New Wizard of the West.”
But they swindled and whined that he wasn’t our kind,
And said Edison knew best.

He was the man outta time, man outta time.
Thought you was crazy. You was one of a kind.
Man outta time, man outta time.
Said you was outta your mind!

You took a shot and it did you in.
Edison’s medicine.
You played your cards, but you couldn’t win.
Edison’s medicine.

I spent twelve years of hard time,
More like the best years of my life.
Never heard or read a single word
About “the man” and his “wicked mind.”
They’ll sell you on Marconi.
Familiar, but a phony.
Story goes they sold their souls
And swore that you’d never know…

About the man outta time, man outta time.
Thought you was crazy. You was one of a kind.
Man outta time, man outta time.
Swore you was outta your mind!

You took a shot and it did you in.
Edison’s medicine.
You played your cards, but you couldn’t win.
Edison’s medicine.

Tesla also did well in the love song department as one of their bigger hits was titled, well…

~ Love Song ~

And that’s a fantastic, beautiful song….

When I think of Tesla, I always remember back to April 2nd of 2010, the day that my now ex-wife reamed me out for stopping at the bar, after a half work day for Good Friday, with my friends from work instead of going home to do yardwork. Yeah… I lost it! After almost fifteen years of marriage, and four years of knowing, since ’06, that she was unfaithful to me with at least a couple different men…. my mentality changed and I refused to get walked on by her or anyone else ever again. My mind was made up… And when I left the Brunswick Winking Lizard that day, at 3:38 pm, I got in my car and this Tesla tune was just beginning…

~ Changes ~

Did Tesla push me in the direction of divorce? Nah… I had already decided… It’s just really weird that that song came on at that moment… Maybe my late sister, Michelle, picked an appropriate song for me right then!

A few months later, I reconnected with this young lady I had a huge crush on back in high school…. And now Tesla has buried the bitter with the sweet with this….

Like this:

I really don’t understand why people dedicate songs to each other. I mean, I understand why everybody does it, but what’s the point?

Obviously, most artists are able to write stuff that relays messages that most of us can’t. So we’ll look up a tune on YouTube and fire it off so that it can say something that we otherwise couldn’t.

Y’all gotta think about what songs you dedicate, however! There are some really meaningful songs out there that you can’t just forward to everyone!

Shit… I’ve retired some songs that I’ve dedicated to certain women. One of the most beautiful songs I ever dedicated was KISS’ Forever… That I made my wedding song because I thought that was what I was getting into back in August of 1995.

My (now) ex-wife had some country tune (I Swear by John Michael Montgomery) picked out for our “first” dance at our wedding reception and, being friends with the DJ, I slipped him Forever, on cassette, knowing that my songs’ lyrics were better than hers…

And they were!! But I’m not gonna dedicate that tune to any woman… ever! That was a major fail on my part…. but as they say, hindsight is 20/20!

Things change. People change their minds rather quickly nowadays. Why dedicate a song to someone when it’s pretty much meaningless and will ultimately be recycled for someone else?

Like this…

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm blows through
And I need you

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
And I’ll be the flattered fool
And I need you
Yeah!

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you
He gave me you

It sort of hurts knowing that some dude’s probably listening to that song saying, “WOW,” just like I did back then….

Hell… maybe someday Blake will go all Taylor Swift on Miranda Lambert. Or vice versa! I’ll watch the Country Music Awards to see that!

On any given Sunday, 1,696 NFL players suit up to play football. These men are the elite; the best at what they do. They are every young boys dream. They are larger than life. A lot of them get paid pretty well. They play a game that, to most of us, is an escape from our every day lives.

They are fantasy football stats. They are numbers to a lot of us.

But they sacrifice their bodies. They sacrifice a normal family life. Some players and their teams succeed. Others? They live an every day hell on a huge stage that none of us can understand. Some of them snap…

Yesterday morning, 25 year old Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher snapped. He shot and killed his 22 year old girlfriend, Kasandra Perkins, orphaning his 3 month old daughter Zoe.

Then he drove over to the Chiefs practice facilities, thanked his coach (Romeo Crennel) and GM (Scott Pioli) for everything they’ve done for him, and took his own life with a bullet to the head…

I just don’t get it….

Yes, this life is cruel. It beats the crap out of all of us on a daily basis, regardless of position or pay scale. To quote Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, “We all fall down…” Ya just gotta get the fuck back up! Nothing is THAT bad, as bad as it may seem at the time…

But to take your own life…. and take others with you? That’s just asinine and weak…

I just don’t get it….

Today, the Browns are playing the Raiders in Oakland. I really don’t feel like looking up stats and such to predict anything. I hope we can pull off another win, I really do!

Right now, though, my heart goes out to Kasandra… and to Zoe & the rest of their family. And to all the players and friends that were affected… And to Romeo Crennel & Scott Pioli for having to live through watching one of their players end their life.

YAY! This is the first female artist I’m featuring on Hi-fi Friday… and what a woman she is!

A lot of people aren’t very familiar with Skylar Grey, born Holly Brook Hafermann in 1986, as most of her material thus far has been supporting other artists.

This Fort Minor tune, in which her vocals were featured, was a huge hit back in 2006. She’s also in the video. In lingerie. Check it out…

~ Where’d You Go ~

That tune, though it’s actually about a partner choosing a career over their family, also has elements of the dreaded long distance relationship… Something I’m all too familiar with. Why is it that two people, absolutely perfect for each other, but yet live so far apart, can’t be together for reasons beyond their control? UGH!! This life is cruel…

Anyway…

You all are probably familiar with Eminem’s “Love the Way You Lie.” Monster hit! Ya wanna know who wrote the lyrics and melody for all the versions of that song, including Rihanna’s Part II? Skylar Grey wrote that shit! Shame on Eminem for choosing Rihanna to perform it with him.

P Diddy, Puff Shizzle or whatever the hell he’s calling himself these days used Skylar’s vocals on one of his big hits “Coming Home”, only to perform it live with other female singers that weren’t her… The following video features a short interview with Skylar before she does her own version…

~ Coming Home ~

It almost seems like, for a while there, she was allowing these big time artists to use her… I dunno… I do know that the music industry can be brutal.

I’ve told her time and time again that if things get too tough, to swing by Brunswick and take a break with me to unwind like she did a couple years ago…

She’s gonna be so pissed that I posted this picture! Sorry, Sky!

I believe that our brief tryst back in ’10 worked to her advantage, however. I think Eminem caught wind of it and became jealous because, instead of hiding her from everyone, he began to feature her a bit more prominently, this time in a Dr. Dre tune that flew up the charts…

~ I Need A Doctor ~

You’ll see Skylar at the 2:21 mark in the nurse’s outfit that I bought for her; and her angelic voice is heard throughout! She wrote portions of that song as well!

It looks like she may finally be on her way to building her own brand. She has recently released a few singles of her own material, one of which is on the soundtrack, “Frankenweenie Unleashed!”, that features tracks from and inspired by Tim Burton’s Frankenweenie, which has done pretty well at the box office.

AND… she has a studio album coming out in a few months. The first single “C’mon Let Me Ride” was released the other day… here’s the artwork for it…

Hoo boy do I like that artwork! The song? Well, it’s quite a departure from her other stuff. I seriously think she’s sending me a message with this song. And I really didn’t have to read between the lines to realize that it’s a dirty message.

She wants me.

The fact that Eminem has a verse is just her trying to make me jealous. It’s not gonna work. Just call me, Sky!

This is not the real video for the song, it’s the lyric video, though it was released by Skylar. The real video is due out December 11th and I, for one, am looking forward to it!

I know, I know… I did an Aerosmith feature on Friday. But this song is worth getting it’s own post. I don’t believe they’ve performed it live, as I couldn’t find anything on YouTube, and there’s no video for it, but there should be eventually. They really hit a home run with this one! Music and then lyrics below…

When your heart is breakin’
When your faith has been shaken
When the road you’re takin’
Takes you nowhere at all

When it all, seems to all go wrong
Remember, nobody, can always be strong.

We all fall down…

Chorus:
I will catch you, never let you go
I won’t let you, go through it alone
So don’t feel left out, we all fall down
We all fall down

When your dreams are shattered
When you feel broken and battered
When every step on the ladder
Takes you nowhere but down

And you lose ground, like you can’t hold on

Remember, nobody, can always be strong.

We all fall down…

Chorus:
I will catch you, never let you go
I won’t let you, go though it alone
So don’t feel left out, we all fall.
I will lift you, high above the rain
I’ll be with you, we all feel the pain
So don’t feel left out, we all fall down
We all fall down

Everyone breaks
You’ll get hurt sometimes, in this life
You fly so high, you crash and burn sometimes
And I want you to know, you are not alone

We all fall down (we all fall down)

Chorus:
I will catch you, never let you go
I won’t let you, go through it alone
So don’t feel left out, we all fall.
I will lift you, high above the rain
I’ll be with you, we all feel the pain
So don’t feel left out, we all fall down
We all fall.

I will catch you.
I wont’ let you.
So don’t feel left out, we all fall down
We all fall down

Years ago I spent a week in Jamaica. It was the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. One day I hope to return. Until then, from time to time, I go there in my mind. When life seems unbearably crazy, I envision buying a one way ticket and making a life there. That’s just a mental escape, of course…

Obviously, I heard a lot of Bob Marley when I was there. I definitely wasn’t a fan of reggae when I went, but most certainly was when I left… and still am to this day.

After a rough week or so, I’ve had the Jamaica vision dancing around my brain, so I’ve been listening to Marley. I figured I’d look up some of his quotes because he’s got some good ones.

I stumbled across the following and, to be quite honest, I wasn’t able to verify that it’s an authentic Bob Marley writing. My first thought was, “All smoked up, how could Bob possibly write all this without heading out for some munchies thus ruining the thought?” Anyway, it’s quite beautiful, so I felt a need to share it. Enjoy…

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around.

You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.

They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant.

Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face.

In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby.

Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you.

You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

Like this:

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I really hate airing my dirty laundry but, dammit, I gotta vent sometimes. This week has provided an up and down struggle and, ultimately, my best friend decided that it’s best if she and I don’t talk any more. But she was my touchstone. I could tell her anything and she would either support me or correct me. She was my filter. Well… I lost her yesterday. I blame myself because I’m a jealous asshole. Unfiltered, this site is gonna get pretty nasty. My humorous posts will continue and so will the endless pictures of hot women… just expect a bit more ass-holery from me for the time being…

This weekend has been absolute HELL dealing with my ex-wife.

Why?

Our only goal as ex-spouses should be the welfare of our girls. Period.

We went for a long stretch at one point in which we got along really well. We would communicate daily about the girls via text, email or phone calls. It was great; and great for our girls.

It hasn’t been that way for a couple months, however, because she’s become vindictive and confrontational. Don’t get me wrong; she’s always been that way, but it’s become exponentially worse lately.

This weekend was a prime example of that. It all started when I picked the girls up Friday. Brookie didn’t have her soccer bag for today’s game as her mom let the coach take it home from practice last week. Brooke texted her to see if she could get it yesterday but mom said something like: It’s your weekend with your Dad, so if you need anything, he has to get it for you.

UGH! Not a huge deal I suppose. Brooke can dress for her game and, when we get there she can throw on her cleats and shin guards.

This morning I asked Brooke where her soccer jersey and shorts were and she said she didn’t have them; they were probably at mom’s. There goes THAT plan… now she can’t even dress for her game. It’s gonna be way too much for her to get to the game and change her clothes prior to it.

Now… I don’t like preaching the terms of the paperwork we received as a result of our divorce. That’s just micro managing… But I had to go there this time, because I was frustrated..

One of the stacks of paper we received is called a shared parenting plan. The very beginning of it basically says: The parent giving up the children must provide clothing and anything else necessary to complete school work and, if participating in sports, fulfill any extracurricular activities. This includes the aforementioned soccer uniform and bag.

So I called Brooke’s mom to find out if she could get ALL of Brooke’s stuff together and bring it to me so Brooke will be prepared for her game. Here’s how it went:

ME: Hey, Brookie doesn’t have any of her stuff for her game, can you go get her bag from her coach and bring it, and her uniform, over here?

HER: You need to talk to Brooke about that. It’s not my problem.

ME: Actually, it’s not your problem, but it is your responsibility to make sure they have all their stuff when I pick them up.

HER (yelling): BROOKE IS TWELVE. SHE CAN GET HER STUFF READY BEFORE YOU PICK THEM UP. TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. I’M NOT TAKING ANYTHING ANYWHERE.

ME: I know she’s twelve, but this is ultimately your responsibility. You’re a parent. I’m not blaming the child for anything.

HER: (yelling): IN…CO…HER…ENT!

I hung up. I don’t like hanging up on anyone. But no one’s gonna yell and swear at me. I’m just trying to solve a challenge here.

But it continues via text message… I’m so glad we’re communicating for the good of our children…

HER: I will be there at noon to get Brooke to her game, don’t worry about it. And before u start yelling at me think about what u are saying. I am done with u blaming me for things, I am not your child, nor your wife anymore… u need to remember she is not five and is able to have her things ready. I would be more then happy to quit my job and make sure they are ready for u when u have them. Your bullying with me does not work anymore. [sic erat scriptum of course]

I was not bullying on the phone, and I definitely wasn’t yelling. I only yell at the television when the Browns are losingwinning playing.

ME: I’m gonna pick up all her stuff. It’s not about bullying. It’s about parental responsibility.

Oops… guess I got too cocky there.

HER: This parent works, if this is becoming an issue, u can start picking up the girls at six instead of five, so I am here to make sure they have what they need. [again… sic erat scriptum]

Unfortunately, this is a normal conversation with my girls’ mom. There is no rationalizing with her. Attempting to solve a challenge can quickly devolve into a full blown argument… So I stopped communicating with her.

Wanna know the funny part? I pulled up the coaches address and saw that they live right up the street from me. I called to let them know I’d be over in a few minutes to get Brookie’s bag. When I got there they told me THERE WAS NO GAME TODAY… the final game is next Sunday!

All the stress of this weekend could’ve been avoided had I simply called the coach Friday evening.

The verdict is in… I’m the one who causes all the problems challenges…

Like this:

Last night while running my two older girls all over Brunswick, I was listening to the soothing sounds of KoЯn. Well, KoЯn performs an absolutely kick ass, ground thumping cover of Pink Floyd’s ‘Another Brick in the Wall’ in which they cram all three parts of Floyd’s original into five minutes and thirty three seconds. It’s awesome! Check it out:

That shit makes me wanna run through a brick wall! Get it? Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’? Oh fuck you… I thought it was funny!

ANYWAY… The lyrics for ‘Another Brick in the Wall ~ Part 3’ are where I’m at right now…

I don’t need no arms around me;
And I don’t need no drugs to calm me.

I have seen the writing on the wall.

Don’t think I need anything at all.

No! Don’t think I’ll need anything at all.

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall.

So, fuck it, my wall is goin’ up!

There’s no point in me giving my heart to someone who is just gonna kick it away when a better another opportunity comes along. This has happened to me too many times the last twenty eight months. I have given so much… so freakin’ much. All for nothing, apparently… I guess you should forget all of that, Beautiful. I’m certain you have…

That is all the whining you’ll see out of me.

Expect a new Greg to emerge soon… What Greg will that be? I dunno. Just know I gotta lose some weight and start hitting the gym. That Greg will be cut up real nice. How much of a wall he hides behind remains to be determined…