Also, I have never fast-forwarded KATG but I have now for the past 3 shows! No more prolapsed anus stories! Bleck!

Agreed. I've listened to all the shows once through, but I usually have them on loop in the background while playing games. The past few days I'd have to rewind whenever the prolapsed anus gets mentioned.

I was completely unsurprised when you read the report about Lexington being basically the laziest city. I live in Richmond, about 15 miles south of Lex. Both cities are basically college towns, and typically the 25 and under population is in relatively good shape, myself included.

The main problems that I see causing the inactivity are:

1. Everyone drives everywhere. Hardly anyone walks or bikes, and the newly added bike lanes are basically just there to increase tourism.

2. The culture. Kentucky, moreso that most other states, tends to have the basic rule that you graduate school (optional), get married, and pop out kids, never living 30 miles away from where you were born. Everyone tries to be in somewhat of a shape young, until they get the husband or wife, then turn into rolling blobs.

don't start the duck mating comments again or Cretatious Bob will go ape shit. About a month ago there were pages and PAGES on animal sex ; )

Duck penises are craaaazy looking!

There are so many fascinating sperm facts, I think the cheating one is the best. I also like that the sperm that makes guys swims faster but the sperm that makes girls has a longer shelf life. And that sperm from different males actually fight each other in utero.

Also, I know the prolapsed anus stories are gross (and I actually looked up pictures...big mistake) but hemorroids suck. And I hate talking about poo, but here are two suggestions to keep the pain down and your ass hole staying in your body.

1) the torpedo - take a super absorbant overnight maxi pad and fill it with water. freeze it. then take tucks pads or other soothing wipes (it just needs witchhazel in it) and lay them along the pad overlapping slightly. Put that where it hurts and sit on it. The pain relief is amazing. I used this after having babies, it rocks.

2) if you're a pusher and the poo is a tough one, take two fingers and gently apply pressure to the taint (or perineum if you want to get medical). It is gross when you think about it, but relieves a lot of pressure and helps things go more smoothly and less painful. Once again, a saving grace for me after having babies. Doctors say the first poo after babies is almost as painful as giving birth...so you have to stop being grossed out and just find practical solutions and be ok with buying stool softeners at Target

I would never EVER have written such gross advice in a public forum, but Chemda's poo advice was golden for me, so hopefully I can help out someone else from losing their asshole in the toilet.