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Been making some progress on this front. I have been so habituated to being told what is best for me rather than being asked what I think is best for me that I never even asked myself. Had a major breakthrough in realizing that someone that I had started working with on BPD issues just wasn't a good fit. Normally I would have allowed a so called authority to run roughshod over me and tell me what decisions to make without questioning them too much but not this time. I have realized that I need support and guidance that is gentle and compassionate. I like the carrot a lot better than the stick. It is a big deal to me to rise above the victim/perpetrator model and just take the good that I got and move on. People have many different styles of communicating and trying to help. Their style is not about me. I am at choice about who I prefer to get treatment from. I am realizing that I am at choice about a lot more things than I realized.