This video illustrates how empires decay and devolve and what a short time it takes for a seemingly invincible empire to become just another nation. Examples not shown are The Soviet Empire and the American Empire. But history won’t be cheated… All empires fall.

An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are “snowbirds” in Arizona.Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Bessie looks him over, “Nope.”

Frustrated Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asks, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”

Bessie looks up and says, “Sam, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Sam yells, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN BESSIE?! IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!”

4. Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One – he just holds it up there & waits for the world to revolve around him.
OR. Three – one to screw in the bulb, two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & calling your name?
A. You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A.Because not one will stop and ask directions.

She is not a babe or chick…she is a breasted American
She does not scream or moan..she is verbally appreciative
She is not easy…she is horizontally accessible
She is not dumb…she took a detour off the information superhighway
She has not been around…she is previously enjoyed companion
She is not an airhead…she is reality impaired
She is not drunk or tipsy…she is chemically inconvenienced
She is not horny…she is sexually focused
She does not have breast implants…she is medically enhanced
She is not a nag..she is verbally repetitive
She is not a slut…she is sexually extroverted
She does not have major league hooters…she is pectorally superior
She is not a two-bit whore…she is a low cost provider

“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got 3 people here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.”

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. “No!” George said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and don’t think I could do that all day long.”

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. “No! I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!” commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, “Yeah, I can handle this.”