It’s that time again. Fantasy drafting season is in full swing. For the more eager among us, it might already be over. But that doesn’t mean it’s too late to get a great name for your fantasy team. Chances are, you aren’t winning shit this season and that will become abundantly clear all too soon. So the best you can hope for is having a name that is the envy of the rest of your league. Allow KSK to be of some assistance.

Although to date I had been neutral
I see now that impartiality is clearly futile.
These cookie wars have raged on and on
Casualties rising throughout the long slog.

Anyone with a whit of taste
Should drop the thin mints and save some face.
When you choose to eat medicinal discs
There is no choice but to ball your fists.

You bring the ravages of war upon yourselves
(And guess what–the better chocolate-mint cookies are made by elves).
You launched your battle, made your choice
But do not confuse being right with the might of your voice.

This tyranny, no longer unchecked
Is met with a force by which you will be wrecked.
Let it go or you will smell
A minty aroma wafting from the gates of hell.

Samoa lovers, like samoans
Are fat and pleasant, until you get their anger growing.
Coconut, chocolate, and caramel, like manna from heaven,
Fuel our stomachs, hearts, and souls 24-7.
Fresh or frozen, they do the trick.
All those other cookies can suck my dick. nachosanchez

Samoas gone? Impossible! How great!
Such shitty taste one can’t abate.
How long that box of filth did last?
I know I eat thin mints quite fast.

Well now they’re done, tossed in the trash
If but the recipe were burned to ash
And believe me when I say I know
The industry could weather the blow

And could those things have been so bad?
Did they really make the children sad?
Weeping and wailing, their tears did glint
They would have much preferred a thin mint.

But now this place is free of them
Wretched chocolate coconut phlegm.
There must have been a reason why
Most honest men would rather die
Than subject themselves to such a fate
As Samoas placed upon their plate

Behold, their dying gasp of pain
All alone out in the rain
Where they belong with the other filth
Maybe to be repurposed as tilth

To better grow a better thing
For much more joy that thing would bring
What wonders that new soil could yield
Perhaps a refreshing mint field

And what of those who lament the their fate
And the tagalong supporters who lay in wait
Patiently planning a chance to strike
And institute a cookie reich

We thin mint men we fear them not
Nor any other cookie’s plot
To engage in such a fruitless endeavor
Praise be to thin mints, for now and forever!

@Otto Man We’re long past penicillin being a viable option for this thing. I’ve talked with the DoD about the possibility of just nuking it from orbit but they’re worried that will just make it stronger. You have to be extra careful with anything that comes from these Ryan boys.