the bitchy waiter: Old Ladies Can Be Annoying

I had to post this here because I have been laughing out loud for Chrissakes for 20 solid minutes.

I will state here and now, in writing even , that if I EVER turn into one of these old broads , all of my friends and loved ones ( who are more often than not the same group) have express permission to do any and all of the following:

1. Take all of my music ( primarily the metal ) away save the TJB that Daddy sent me as a joke and make me listen to either Patti Paige or The New Christy Minstrels for at least 24 hours without stop.

2. Take away all of my heels and force me to wear Bierks and sox in public for the rest of my life.In case of rain, make me wear those semi transparent bootie things ..plus the clear plastic baggie rain hat.

3. Take away all my rock and roll tee shirts, the ICHC ones, the cute jeans and leave me nothing but housecoats, Quacker Factory sweaters and or tops and Donnkenny slacks.

4. Take away all my scifidvd's and leave me nothing to watch but reruns of Happy Days Ozzie and Harriet, and Hallmark Channel's " Loves Enduring WTF Ever " movies.

5. Take away all my books and leave me nothing but out dated Guideposts and Hi-Lites.

6. Remove the computer and the laptop from the house.

7. Substitute rabbit ears for the cable.

8. Dump all my makeup and leave only Oil Of Olay ( original formula) and 1 tube of Revlon's Fire and Ice.

I have rarely laughed so hard at a post..just another reason this 56 year Goddess Loves The Bitchy Waiter.