Actinides, Column 8 (Ferrum, Samarium)

More real heaviness

Intensity and Depth

The deep nucleus of generative will The inner essence of Pu must forever remain hiddenTransformation Metamorphosis idea When they break down they form a new element Heavy repression of SELF Mother did not allow her to be human in any way Suppress that human part of her The so and so part of me as if separate personalities Transsexual in process of becoming a manEverything is HIDDEN, everything is a lie

Light and Elevated

As if great burden lifted off shouldersIncredibly Heavy and Weighed down Weight from their CORE Heavy wet, uncomfortable blanket = depression Interacting w/people wears me down Take energy from meDeep isolation w/intense despair As if totally alone in the worldSense of elongationPlutonium nitricum (R7C8) Dreams of being very tall As if soul leaving bodyfloating upward Pu discharges Helium (rising) Dreams of two points of view I must be contained Ability to learn from past experienceOur Primal Nature Dreams of warriors fighting Of aboriginal people throwing stones Delves deep into the center of our being Where basic instincts for survival lie buriedPlutothe God of the Dead Deep suffering originating from our ancestors Punishment echoing down through the generations Because of its half-life, the Pu in our environment will linger and effect generations to comeThe CORE that energizes our being Like our bone marrow Generates a life force Pu affects the bone marrow The ability to use this core energy depends on integration with all levels of being and slow release When chakra revolve harmoniously, root energy can ascend to power us towards higher purposes When this root energy is split form the higher (Helium) the explosive properties Intense violence, intense enough to destroy the worldFrightful black depressionEnormous rage Fear of unleashing this destructive power (contained by Nit) Desire for red meat, liver, bacon and blood Verbally rip them to shreds, I rip them apart Delusion is a vampire Powerful sexual urges Dreams of enormous phalluses Pluto was god of material wealth RestrictionRIGIDITY RESTRICTION of Emotions, of FOOD If someone touches her in panic attack I want to move if I move I will have a break down cease to exist All molecules fly apart like a big explosion

Entries from the Proving

I realize the remedy seems to work like a mushroom that grows for a long time underground and then suddenly pops up I had clear vision of the earth exploding. It felt horrific, and I felt fear and despair Image of falling head first, the fall from grace, Paradise Lost I feel raw, as if the outside of me has been burnt away The bed is rapidly becoming a pool of tear and still the fire burns I feel it is something to be done alone, balancing the light with the dark. I feel heroicfull of cour- age Vacant sensation, out of my head Feel depressed, paralyzed, almost possessed by heaviness, which was physical, going deeper into my body Dissolving the sins of the FathersPlutonium nitricum (R7C8) I have the feeling of battling against something evil out there that is actually inside of me but not quite part of me When it is this painful, I either leave my body or kill myself I feel brutish and coarse Violence could erupt at any moment Delusion that people are about to burst through the door I feel separate from the rest of the world, just observing I feel slowed down physiologically, as if I will live longer I am still like a tree in wintera skeleton of my former self. I stand and watch the world, so slow I can almost live forever. I feel stripped naked before the world. I feel full of love again. I thank the heavens for this experience. Again I yawned and stretched, this time I laughed Dreams of sexually abused children, people

Cases40 y/o woman, pregnantIts very heavy, so heavy. I feel crazy and off balance in a very dark place. Deep deep down some-thing went wrong, beyond my control. Terrible depression. Very deep dark depression. All my weak-nesses, faults and dark places are coming up from deep deep down inside of me. I feel totally pas-sive. Totally knocked out. At night I just loose a sense of self, esp at sunset depression comes uplasting until sunrise.My mother is a holocaust survivor. Something from there is touching me, she has to reject what is tooclose to her. I feel totally rejected, no love, no consciousness, just nothingThere is something have always kept inside, a deep secret. Extremely angry but cannot express it.Its very hard is someone is angry at me it crushes me. I fear my own anger. I block it but inside Imin pain, overwhelming pain and suffering, such deep pain. I suffer but I keep a faade so people dontknow.Such a big split in me. I cant function with this split. Its like a state of obliteration, total destruction,like in the holocaust. I keep getting this image of total nothingness, a feeling of being obliterated,dark, and black and very close to death. I feel like in hell, dying with intense suffering without ahigher state.I always find a way to fail. Something always trips me. I feel a huge force pushing me backwards, adeep connection to the past, to the forefathers. A connection to ancient states of being, pulling meback. A force making me live their lives instead of my own. Sometimes I feel in the state of being anembryo.I feel violent but would never let it out. There is a contradiction between passive and totally violent,such strong violence. I would never dream of unleashing it. I would just cause total destruction if Ilet it out.Plutonium nitricum (R7C8)I am either extremely slow or make very big leaps. I can make very big leapsfast, go from one state to another very quickly. My main strength is deepdeep intuition but I have no intellect. I feel things very strongly. I fall intosuch a state of disorganization; I dont have the intellect to help pull thingstogether. I have a great need to expose myself but am super-sensitive tohow people see me. I have no self worth but on other hand can be very big,obliterated.Sun aggr, heat and cold aggr, gums bleed often and profusely, perspirationstrong smelling.Desires salt, citrus, fat, butter. Menses irregular. Fear of insanity and can-cerI need a heavy remedy with a huge voice, a remedy that can destroy the world. I feel like this mon-ster has been chasing my all my life. Like being in the underworld. My astrologer says this is due otthe state of Pluto at this time.Rem: Plut-nit 30c (one dose)