Nathan Burris is either the least remorseful or most insane person on the planet. Or some unbelievably potent cocktail of the two. Since he is accused of murdering his ex-girlfriend as well as her male companion in a "shotgun rampage," let's go with unbelievably potent cocktail.

While being cross-examined in a murder trial that he is filling the role of both defendant and defense counsel, Burris felt the prosecutor was taking too long to make his case. So, he reportedly "snapped his fingers as he asked a jury to find him guilty quickly so he could be back in jail in time for Monday Night Football.

"I did it, so what?" said Nathan Burris, 49, who is representing himself in his capital trial in Contra Costa County Superior Court in Martinez. "No remorse, no regrets, no mercy. ... You want me to draw it out in crayon?"

Veteran prosecutor Harold Jewett, a fierce interrogator, sought to drill in during cross-examination, asking Burris if his father would have been proud of him. But Burris stopped answering questions within 30 minutes.
"This isn't Sesame Street," Burris said, referring to the jury. "They get it, bro."

This guy—this guy has got some pretty remarkable quotes. When he's done watching the Eagles and Saints, he should get back to work on his book, The Quotable Burris.

"I'm still alive, they're not, and that's all that matters," he said in court. "I'm ready to roll on down the road."

At a certain point, though, all those quotes dry up and all that remains is the cold truth of having just confessed to murder in court, on the record and a life behind bars—at best—because you wanted to get home in time to catch this guy.