Coffee Jokes

"Here is your coffee sir! Exclusively from South America!" "Ah, that’s what took you so long."

I met someone in the elevator who was drinking coffee and complaining about how coffee made him nervous.I said, "Why don’t you quit drinking coffee?"He said. "Because if I didn't have the shakes, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all."

"Waiter! Did you bring me coffee or tea?""Can you tell the difference?""Well...no...I can’t" "Then it shouldn’t really matter."

A wife brings coffee to her workaholic husband.Without taking his eyes off the computer screen, he takes a sip slams the cup down on the desk immediately.Disgusted, he says, "You know I can’t drink coffee without sugar!" She smiles, touches his shoulder and says, "Oh, honey, I’m so glad." "What are you talking about?" he asks, confused."Well this is the first conversation we’ve had in weeks!"