I knew about the HarperCollins contract, I guess, but it wasn’t until I saw this trashy dig through his earnings that I really understood that Wayne Rooney has a 12-year, five-book publishing deal worth more than £5 million. Not to be outdone, Coleen has an eight-book deal, although (to be outdone) she’s only seen £283,334 from it so far, which is less than she makes for seven months of her magazine column. Casually, as a sideline, as a pure afterthought, the Rooneys will have emanated thirteen books by the time they reach their mid-20s. And there was that poor sucker Flaubert, rolling around on his floor for three days, etc.