Captainwow

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Thanky Happygiving

Crap-OLA!
I just wrote a whole post and lost it.
Can you believe it.

REALLY!

OK so basically what it said was that I went to the DR today. I like my DR she's cool. She gives me drugs.

And Pat and I did not get to look at Bridesmaid dresses last night since I took so long getting home in the snow last night. But alas, the night was not wasted for we went as planned to The Sierra Room and had great food, fine wine and enjoyed stunning ambiance. I'd say we each had stellar company too so it was a primo evening.

One month to Christmas.
165 days to wedding day.
2 days to Thanksgiving.
5 days off work starting Thursday, and I'm geeked.
See ya when I get back.

Monday, November 24, 2003

MunDae

Hey, there's new stuff over to your right.... --------->> Don't forget to scroll down and check it out.

Hefty weekend again - glad I carbed up for it.
Got an engagement picture taken - Thanks Brian - we had a fun photoshoot session and a great time hanging out after. Great to get to know him a little better.
Saturday was coffee in the morning with the girls. And then off to the bridal shop with my mom to pick out a wedding dress. Pretty sure I found it. YEE HAW! Going tonight so Pat can try on bridesmaid dresses.
Yesterday got up and had breakfast with mom before she went off antiquing and then Jane and I drove to my house to get a table for her. Really nice to have a chance to get to know her more.
Last night I did N O T H I N G - which was great. Watched Cloud - Wild Stallion Of The Rockies on Nature.
Now, it's Monday and I was thankful there was no snow on the ground to mess with my drive.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Interesting

At Target a few minutes ago I just saw something I haven't seen before. There was a woman riding around in the motorized chair thingy they have for people with disabilities..... and then, when I was pulling out of the parking lot, I saw her riding a bicycle.
There's gotta be an explanation for that!

Monday, November 17, 2003

This n That

Not much to say after an exceptionally full weekend.
Imagine that.

Saw friends, did things. Ate stuff. Had a great time. The company was stellar!

Went and saw the rock opera HERO. I thought about Heroes on the way to work today. One of my childhood hero(ine)s was Susan Barry, my second grade teacher. I absolutely adored her. We all did. She was kind and pretty and cool and drove a yellow corvette. She had a way of making us each feel really special and smart! When I grew up a little more I realized she was really just about that wonderful right down to her core. She really loved teaching us and she accepted and loved us. I know I'm not the only one would would put her down for the favoritest teacher of all award.

It's a dead run to the end of the year now. It feels like running to the finish line when your legs are burning and you can hardly breath anymore but you know that if you put your head down and keep running that burn will go away and you might even win if you give it just a little more juice! - All that to say There's a lot to do but I think it'll probably be lots of fun anyway.

I read this on Reallivepreacher.com:

"Some of us say there is something eternal about you, something we call a soul. We don't exactly know what we mean by that; it might be our way of saying you are eleventy-hundred infinity good. But if there is anything eternal in you, any scent of the creator lying soft on the back of your neck, then you are worth more than all the gold and all the mountains and all the world." - The Preacher

Thursday, November 13, 2003

We all scream for ice cream!

Lately I've been noticing my fingernails were too long so I cut them off last night. Now they're too short and I can't pick anything up, like paper or coins without a bit of a struggle. But I can type like a fiend again and that is great!

Also, I got to the bottom of the PILE on my desk, and CLEANED the desk surface and EVERYTHING!! It was amazing. So here I sit at a CLEAN, clutter free desk. Wow.
Time to mess it up again!

In other news, the coffee is brewing and it's snowing out and there's a new link on my blog in case you didn't notice! ----------------------------------------->
check it out. Leave a comment or two!
Icecream troll is one my favoritest people in the whole wide world of worlds.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Spare Tire

Literally, if you drive around on a flat tire, it's a bad thing. I found this out the hard way once, thinking it'd be no big deal to drive just a LITTLE way on it. NOPE. Dad was right, don't drive on a flat tire. Period. It actually destroys the inside of the tire. I guess I knew that but I thought it took a lot longer than it actually does. Even if it looks fine on the outside, on the inside it's a shredded mess. If you keep driving on it, the rim will cut right through and then it's clear that not only the tire is ruined, but you can damage a rim beyond repair as well.

Since I tend to think allegorically, I saw someone driving on the highway on a flat tire today and I thought " man, they are in for a treat.

And then..... I got to thinking emotionally/spiritually it's a similar thing maybe. Driving around on a flat spirit tends to have sort of a "shredding" effect. Once the air is out of a relationship or an idea or a paradigm or world view, or a once useful pattern becomes pointless or unhealthy, I'm probably pretty shredded inside by then and it's time to get a new pattern or a new idea or a new SOMETHING, ASAP. I can choose to keep blowing the thing up, but that doesn't heal the shredding, and eventually that pattern becomes unhealthy and exhausting and as insane as driving around on the flat thing.

I'm sure this allegory has been used before, It's probably not a new thing at all but it describes pretty well some things I've been thinking about lately. Patterns I hang on to too long and find myself in pain. Ideas I have to let go of because they just don't make sense anymore - unhealthy styles of doing life that damage me or others. I've had some slow leaks and I've had some spectacular blow outs, but thankfully, God is about redemption. And He's way better at it than Discount Tire.

Monday, November 10, 2003

The dullest blog in the world is back! What does that mean, when I'm EXCITED about such a thing?? (see the link to the right)

Had a good weekend - wedding date is set. May 8, in case you were curious.
Yee haw now on to the fun stuff. Dresses, froo froo things, girl things, fun plans!! weeeeeee!!!

Went and saw Kristen and Paul's new house last night. It Rocks! And Pearl and Sheperd were there, helping out, I guess they were home improvement FREAKS for the day - how cool. They should start their own business!

Last night I had a dream within dream. I woke up from the dream within and thought I was awake. K, but in dream world I WAS awake, then I fell asleep again. And dreamed - that I had a dream. Seriously! Then I woke up from that dream and realized I wasn't really awake so I woke up again. And thought I was awake. Then the thought went through my mind of oh my I'm really losing my grip. I can't even tell the difference between dreaming and waking, just like yesterday when Pat told me she cleaned the toilet only maybe I just dreamed it and she didn't really tell me that. But she really DID clean it and I know THAT is real..... And I thought oh boy I'm truly losing my marbles. I knew things weren't RIGHT but I didn't know it was THAT BAD! What does one DO in such a case? I realized I had no idea what to do if I was really going crazy. THEN I really REALLY woke up and it was such a relief!! I was in my bed, and there was my clock and my kitty snoring away at my feet. I thought OH Thank GOD! I'm awake, and sane!

Today I saw about 5 deer in a field on the way to work. It was a beautiful drive - great pink and yellow sunrise with the frost on the ground, very twinkly and pwetty.
Anyway so I saw these dearie deersies and then in the next field there was a guy tramping around in his hunter orange, with a gun slung over his shoulder and I thought how ironic that just past that strip of trees are what he's looking for and neither one is aware of the other. He's just that close to the jackpot and doesn't even know it. It was like looking into two windows and seeing two different slices of life that had to do with each other but would not very likely intersect. I felt glad for the safely grazing deer, and not very disappointed for the hunter.

Right, so I'm so excited because Kevin and I are going to look at a possible reception site for our wedding tomorrow. If it's not a dump we'll book it and have a wedding date set finally!! YEEEEE HAW!!

Tonight is Matrix night - going with a bunch of friends to see the 3rd one. We got ourselves primed for it by watching the 2nd one the other night. And I got Kevin one of those new little Atari plug and play thingy things where you just plug the joystick into the TV and the games are loaded already. The copyright comes up 1981!! So we had fun playing that a bit too. I almost peed my pants laughing because the joystick is jut like the original and not very easy to control. At least not for me. So you can imagine, playing PONG looked like I was playing DODGE the ball, not HIT the ball! ha. Pat and Kevin had it goin on a little better. Wee.

In other news, I have a zit on my chin and it's bugging the crap out of me. I'm drinking Haitian Blue today - thanks to Jim for the donation, and to Shelby for being willing to sell some of her private stash! (coffee! It's COFFEE!!)

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

The Matrix

Opening day, yee haw. (no, not deer hunting!)
Going to watch Reloaded tonight and see Revolutions on Friday. The sucky part is that I have been ruined. Someone - who shall remain nameless, has introduced me to the cheesy side of The Matrix. Yes, I'm blaming you, my friend. I know it was there all along but I didn't see it, and you've corrupted me. Maybe because I'd never "USED my EYES" before, I don't know. I was once innocent and amazed at the philosophy of The Matrix, but now I can't watch it without laughing and that is truly tragic. So I may find myself rolling on the floor over these next two, who knows.

Do you think there might be a spoof in the hopper somewhere combining the qualities of The Matrix, Zoolander, Les Miserables and Finding Nemo? If that ever comes out I'll be in line on opening night.

Monday, November 03, 2003

I now know who Mike Yac is (was) .... it's short for Mike Yaconelli. He founded the ministry called Youth Specialties, and he also wrote the book Messy Spirituality, if you've read that.

This refers to my entry a few days ago - regarding Mr. Yaconelli's passing.
Here's a quote from an article he wrote about turning 50:

"So here I stand, looking at the ground, smelling the faint fragrance of God. Never once did it occur to me that when I found God's trail again, it would ruin my life forever – for once you feel the breath of God on your skin, you can never turn back, you can never settle for what was, you can only move on recklessly, with abandon, your heart filled with fear, your ears ringing with the constant whisper, "Fear not."
Once you find where the trail is, you are faced with a sobering truth – in order to go on, you must let go of what brought you here. You cannot go on without turning your back on what brought you to this place.

It is like swinging on a trapeze. Once you have gained the courage to swing, you never want to let go...and then, without warning (around age 50, for me), you look up and see another trapeze swinging towards you, perfectly timed to meet you, and you realize you are being asked to let go and grab onto the other trapeze. You have to release your grip. You have to reach out. You have to experience the glorious terror of inbetween-ness as you disconnect from one and reach for the other.

This past year has been a time of letting go, one finger at a time, and these last few weeks have been a terrifying weightlessness, a wait-lessness, a paralyzing stretch for the unknown. I haven't reached the other bar yet. I am somewhere in between, but I can tell you this: my heart is filled with an exhilaration, an anxious anticipation that just as I get to the other bar, I will not grasp it, but I will instead be grasped by the hand of Jesus.

About Me

"My own movement of thought is not meant to be a straight point-to-point, linear line of march, but a horizontal exploration from one area of interest to another. There is no ultimate destination--no finish line to cross, no final conclusion to be reached. It's the way I feel about dancing--you move around a lot, not to get somewhere, but to be somewhere in time."
Robert Fulghum