Back in April, Chili's announced that it was testing what was either an unconscionable abomination or the zenith of the human experiment: a disconcertingly huge, five-meat burger called the Boss. That burger is now available nationwide, may God have mercy on our souls and jaws.

Just what's so formidable about this entree? For one, those five meats: bacon, jalapeño-cheddar smoked sausage, pulled rib meat, smoked brisket, and a half-pound beef patty. Plus the lettuce and tomato, you know, for your health. Then Cheddar cheese, the buns, and BBQ sauce, and some ranch dressing for good measure. All that adds up to 1,650 calories.

When we first told you about the Boss, Chili's was just testing the burger at a select few locations. But as of May 21, a day that shall surely live in infamy, it's available nationwide.

So if you're interested in finding out something fundamental about yourself, head to your Chili's today and peer into the meaty abyss.

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