Gay marriage votes bring sense of validation

Women felt relationship was seen as 'inferior'

Jun. 29, 2013

Kimberly Grim (left) and Kelly Phillips will have a wedding in September, a time they chose because they wanted to be sure Delaware's same-sex marriage law would be in effect. 'My sisters are married, and even though my family is so super supportive, sometimes gay relationships are looked at as inferior,' Phillips said. 'I feel like, as time goes on, people will just think of it like a relationship between any two people.' / WILLIAM BRETZGER/THE NEWS JOURNAL

The news came over the radio as Kimberly Grim was in her car Wednesday that the U.S. Supreme Court had struck down a part of the Defense of Marriage Act that kept the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages.

She said the decision made her feel validated, like the world is prepared to give the same significance to her upcoming wedding to her partner, Kelly Phillips, as they will.

The Rehoboth couple’s wedding is planned for September, a time they chose because they wanted to be sure Delaware’s same-sex marriage law would be in effect.

“My sisters are married, and even though my family is so super supportive, sometimes gay relationships are looked at as inferior,” said Phillips, a mortgage banker. “Now I feel like, as time goes on, people will just think of it like a relationship between any two people.”

Grim, 49, said she spent most of her life hiding who she was, while Phillips, 48, knew she was gay when she was 14. Grim said Phillips has helped her grow and become safe and secure in who she is.

The couple has stayed out of the limelight of Delaware’s recent push for marriage equality, but not because they don’t want to be agents for change. They just choose to do so in a more private, personal way.

Phillips, a pediatric nurse practitioner, wondered how the parents she sees regularly would react to news that she and Phillips are getting married. It’s not something they’ve broadcast widely, but they’ve shared the news with friends and connections on Facebook.

“I’ve already had a lot of parents come and congratulate me. I’m kind of shocked when they say something. But it’s been a good feeling, a lot of positive feedback,” Phillips said.