Oh man, this is short but great. Outside the Pheasant Pub in Drogheda County, Ireland, some jackass was trying to break into a car (looks like a Mercedes) by flinging stones and things at the window, to no avail. So the guy tries a nice, heavy brick. And the brick takes care of the situation. »3/01/15 1:00pm Sunday 1:00pm

Bored with your cushy, overpowered luxury sedan? Do modern "dynamic" designs fail to live up to your expectations of dynamism? Have you grown weary of the endless hordes of dull, anonymous, unoriginal cars you see everywhere? That's because the wrong people are running car companies. These kids should be the ones…»2/24/15 5:02pm 2/24/15 5:02pm

What, you're going to get out there with a brush and scraper? That's so uncivilized. Use the Russian method to get snow off your car. Those guys would know, I hear they get snow occasionally. »2/20/15 12:22pm 2/20/15 12:22pm

We do not, absolutely DO NOT condone such reckless endangerment as ghost riding your whip, here at Jalopnik. But if you are going to do it, you might as well do it properly.»2/17/15 12:18pm 2/17/15 12:18pm

Italy is a magical place, full of Italians and Piaggio Apes. And if you have no idea what a Piaggio Ape is, that is terrible. Because it's a delightful little three-wheeled pickup, and when fully loaded every sad little attempt to get up a hill is the silliest goddamn thing I've seen all morning. Until it flips. »2/05/15 10:35am 2/05/15 10:35am

According to the BBC, President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov has started replacing the state's fleet with white cars last September, and now everybody in the country is being advised to forget about black paint as well, or else. Or else what? Exactly. »1/28/15 9:51am 1/28/15 9:51am

A source in BMW management mentioned at the Rolex 24 at Daytona today that they have one piece of advice for new employees: "Don't do anything that would end up on Jalopnik." »1/24/15 5:09pm 1/24/15 5:09pm

Can you ever really know what happens to your car after you hand over the keys to a valet? Maybe they'll park it carefully and go about the rest of their day; maybe they'll go hoon it into the ground. Or maybe they'll use it to make a bizarre, rambling YouTube "review" that ultimately costs them their job.»1/23/15 2:10pm 1/23/15 2:10pm

Here's a little cooking recipe, handed down from my step-uncle's roommate's brother's sister. Take one Mercedes, and completely engulf it in flames. Leave it on top of a big hill. Don't set the parking brake. Add firefighters, a high pressure fire hose, and now water everywhere to reduce the friction. The result is…»1/21/15 6:06pm 1/21/15 6:06pm

When a customer confuses the gas for the brake, allowing them to drive completely straight through your beautiful, expensive car wash, leaving a path of wanton destruction in their wake, you'd expect the proprietors to be upset. Not at the Quick Quack Car Wash. They took the video, set it to music, and perfection was… »1/14/15 2:34pm 1/14/15 2:34pm

Don't laugh. DON'T LAUGH. We've all been there, having one of those days, where you completely forget how directionality, physics, and the universe itself works, okay?! So do not laugh. Too hard. »12/30/14 11:45am 12/30/14 11:45am