Announcements

Hi all,
I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.
Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.
If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.
As always, we will be here with you,
ModKonnie

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About Me

My husband died in his sleep, at the age of 46, just a few days ago. His parents were extremely supportive the first couple of days, but now? I NEED them to stop sending me emails and texts telling me all the things David did wrong growing up, and even in adulthood. Also to stop telling me how my husband's inheritance will now go to his sister, and nothing to me, his wife of 16 years. How do I gently tell them that I don't want to hear about things Dave did when he was 15, and I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE INHERITANCE? I don't want to tell them off, after all: they are grieving too, but I can't take much more of this. I have NO ONE here. Dave was my only family. I'm trying to be nice to his parents but ... when will it stop? How can I get them to stop?? How do I deal with this? I hope someone is around tonight that may be able to comment.

We lost my mom in October 2012, unexpectedly. She passed away early in the morning so we were at home with her when it happened but could do nothing for her. Needless to say, I feel like I have a jagged, gaping hole in my chest still. Here is my problem: I have an 8 year old sister that witnessed this as well. I am 28 and still lived at home, feeling I could never leave her behind. My parents weren't always the best with her but my mom was better than my dad. With my dad, he is constantly talking down to her, stating he "needs a break" from the responsibility of her constantly. He says things in front of her that make her feel horrible. He constantly tells her she needs to be more responsible with cleaning, homework, etc. She is 8 years old!! I could see her being more responsible if he was an example. He really just wants her to clean up after him. I have confronted him on this on numerous occasions but it has done nothing. He is selfish. Before my mom died he made comments on regular occasions about "putting a bullet in his head" because she wouldn't let him get his way on petty things, like buying new toys (golf cart, guns, etc) He made comments like that when my mom would be angry with him for talking to my 8 year old sister in a demeaning way, much like he does now. He joined match.com and other dating sites almost immediately after my mom passed. The week my mom passed away, he felt the need to tell me a story of how my mom had cheated on him when they were just beginning dating with explicit details down to what type of condom was used. This whole time I am thinking "Why the hell are you telling me this?" But I was in shock still and thought maybe he was just dealing with her death in his own way. My sisters and I repeatedly requested if he did start dating that he not include our 8 year old sister in ANY of it. He disregarded this and has now been drug through the mud with him in his numerous outings with random women. He even told her that we asked him not to tell her anything to which she approached me and said "It's okay. I'm okay with daddy talking to girls. He told me you had a problem with it, but its okay." SHE IS 8!!!!!!! I find it difficult to deal with, I can only imagine how she feels. But daddy says its okay, so it must be okay. He takes her out to dinner with these women and MAKES her talk to them on Skype and whatnot. He has also had these women bring their children along and she has made "friends" with them. He had a long distance relationship with a woman he found on Facebook. My little sister said of her son, "He is almost like my stepbrother." Since then they have parted ways. And on to the next one. He does not take care of her basic needs but I am in the home and fill in where he lacks. She has poor hygiene but as her sister, she will only listen to me so much, as I am "not the boss" My dad will back me up on some things but others he is lax. She had a horrendous toothache for 4 days that kept her awake at night, screaming (literally) in pain. He refused to take her to the dentist and demand they pull it or whatever. She misses school regularly for no reason and is tardy often. He has received letters from the school about this and yelled at her for it, saying things like "Well, I guess they can just take me to jail!" Granted, she is not in a hurry in the morning but when he wakes her up 30 minutes before the tardy bell and expects her to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get out the door in that amount of time I see it as his fault. He needs to be the adult and the parent and take the lead and responsibility! When she cries and talks about missing my mom he says "She's just trying to get attention." Granted she does use my mom's death to try to manipulate people at times she often times just wants someone to hold her, especially at bedtime. He yells at her often, especially when she interferes with his tv, facebook, or phone calls with random women. I have contemplated contacting child protective services to investigate. I am afraid they would take her away from him and put her in foster care. My other sisters live in a different state. We are all willing to take her in but since I live with him still that will not be an option. He is attempting to buy a house and land in the middle of nowhere in the state my sisters live in, but an hour away. He complains now that my little sister is too much for him to handle by himself but now he will have no one nearby to help with her and she will be bored out of her mind even more! He had a heart attack 2 years ago and his health isn't very good. He refuses to go to a doctor to ensure things are okay. My fear is that something will happen to him and she will be alone with him to deal with it until someone else gets there. She already went through that with my mom! But you can't tell him anything. What should I do? I worry about her and her well being but I also know that being ripped away from her daddy would be detrimental as well. But as detrimental as growing up with him and his lack of responsibility, emotional support, and basic interest in her?