WHAT'S UP DOC? Kindness

This past year has been a tough one for many people. The political atmosphere has been very divisive, and our leaders have done more to pull us apart than to unite us. So, what should we do?

Be kind. Let’s make 2018 a year where kindness becomes commonplace.

Being kind to others makes us feel good about ourselves, and that is a good thing. But there are many other health benefits from being kind.

Being kind has significant physiological effects. It increases the production of oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine (via increased endogenous endorphin stimulation), as well as stimulating the vagus nerve. The medical benefits from this include:

Decreased depression: beyond that initial rush from the happy feeling of doing something nice, there are more sustained benefits of improving depression symptoms
Reducing anxiety and stress: kindness has an overall calming effect, again lasting well beyond the initial euphoria associated with the actual act of kindness
Decreased awareness of chronic pain: both the perceived intensity as well as the duration of pain are minimized
Improved sense of overall well-being
Stronger immune system: decreasing the risk of developing infections
Improved cardiovascular health: blood pressure is lowered, and plaque build-up in the coronary arteries is slowed (Bob Hope summed this up by saying “if you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”)
Slowing the effects of aging: by decreasing inflammation and speeding the clearance of free radicals
Increased longevity: several studies have shown increased life expectancy in people who regularly are kind to others
Huge benefits in school-age kids: better scholastic performance, decreased bullying behavior, better attendance, improved school energy and culture.

Kindness is teachable, and doing so is one of the greatest gifts that can be given. When your kids see you being kind they will not only see you in the best light, but they will also learn to be kind themselves.

Kindness is contagious. One act of kindness so often triggers a cascade of such acts. We have all heard stories of someone paying for a coffee for the person behind them in line, only to hear about the chain reaction that ensued. There are so many other examples.

So, let’s look at possible New Year’s resolutions we can all consider to make 2018 a year of kindness.

Volunteer: and do so in a way where you have direct person to person interactions, ideally with someone in need, but at the least with other volunteers. Volunteer possibilities include museums, senior centers, libraries, service organizations, youth organizations, places of worship, charities, schools and many others; go to www.volunteer.gov or www.nationalservice.gov/serve-your-community for ideas.

Charitable giving: this is another way for people to feel good about helping others, especially if they do not have availability or opportunity to volunteer. About three quarters of all charitable giving is from individuals just like you and me. Try to make it personal. Maybe identify a family in need in your town, and speak with them to see what you can do to help. If you donate money, allow your child to give as well; as soon as a child is old enough to understand the concept of getting presents they are old enough to be exposed to the concept of giving. No charity will mind a donation of one thousand dollars and thirty-two cents. They may not understand the 32 cents, but your child will.

Include your kids: As your children get older, encourage them to get involved with charitable activities of organized groups, be it scouting, your place of worship, school or some other group. Support these efforts, whether that means driving them somewhere, going with them to the park cleanup, collecting food donations or helping sell holiday candy. Helping is the key. Spend time with them as you walk door to door to your neighbors to sell candy and let your child do the talking. Taking the candy to work to sell is fine, but it does not replace the time you spend with your child visiting neighbors and friends!

As they reach their teens kids can volunteer at an appropriate place such as the local animal shelter, nursing home, hospital, school, place of worship, or some other charity. Be sure they are appropriately supervised and are safe. Volunteer with them if that is possible and it will not detract from their experience.

Both volunteering and charitable giving are great family activities, so consider starting these as traditions throughout the year. Look at ways you can give, whether it is time, money, or anything else (one activity I donate my time to is writing this column). Now is a great time to add this to your “normal routine” and to teach your children the joys of giving and community involvement.

So many people have shown me amazing kindness in response to my recent accident. Help me pay this forward by making 2018 the Year of Kindness.

Jeff Hersh, Ph.D., M.D., can be reached at DrHersh@juno.com

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