now graced by visits from the dept of homeland security, Gandhidham, Darwin Australia,Chattisgarh , Encyclopedia Britannica, the US Department of State,US Department of Defense, USAISC(The US millitary communications war command HQ) the The New York times, New York State Attorney general;s office, Apple (to look at my tech Gadget essentials), US house of representatives, The department of Homeland security and The Canadian ministry of education. and The office of the commissioner for baseball.

For a film that crashed and burned like it did at the box office, I didn’t think I needed to shoot this wounded puppy in the head.It was like a coronation to which noone came. Then I saw the echo chamber repeat it’s tardy lies about how “wonderful” this film was. Ugh! One thing is certain . the people who made this film know what people say about films that are actually good., they are using the right words about the wrong film, hoping other people will make the mistake I did , and sit through this celluloid version of a trade paper.

The biggest piece of bat guano this film makes us swallow is that the hero of this film (Farhan Akhtar, the son of Javed Akhtar, who created pulp indian cinema) and half son of Shabana Azmi, (who herself is the daughter of an erstwhile “poet” lyricist) is an unconnected starter in bollywood. each time you look at Farhan, you can’t help but hear the scream in you head “NEPOTISM!!!!!” even if you didn’t know who the heck he is. I mean noone that looks so….well chiselled and sounds like a mouse with bullet holes in his throat can have the arrogance to think he could carry off the role of an unconnected struggling newcomer.everything about this guy screams privilege.

Its also disgusting how the entire film industry shows up, like a showbiz party thrown by an insider, and is carefully manicured on celluloid by Zoya Akhtar(Farhan’s sister talk about nepotism) to look “less attractive” than Farhan . by comparison. Hritik roshan looks like a WWF wrestler. Camera is manipulated to make footage of bollywood’s best looking stars look tacky and like circus acts. Isha Shravani(remember the uber athletic cherub from Kisna? ) is made to look like shabana Azmi in parvarish,so that Farhan Akhtar will look good by comparison.

And then there is the insidious story about the dumping of a starlet by the leading man who makes good in the industry. It is the one singular success of this film that they have sold this storyline to the misguided feminist as if it were a triumph of konkana sen sharma’s charecter. Let us ge this straight . There’s this struggling newcomer who takes up with a more talented, experienced woman,and dumps her immediately after he becomes a star. and she wins…how? feels like honey irani(the mother in this mess of nepotism) is trying to get rid of one of farhan’s girlfriends.

Often you wonder why one has to look at the unintentionally Jodorowski visuals (without quite Jodorowski’s depth of feeling) and you realize, with a start that this is Javed Akhtar trying to be like Prostnic vogon Jeltz(the starfleet captain in Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy who had no talent for poetry, but kept at it so much that people committed suicide rather than listen to his poems) and trying to make an “art movie”.

Remember (javed Akhtar’s boss) Manmohan desai once describe an art move as “film me lighting a cigaratte and letting it burn down” . His crew still doesn’t get it.