The Koch Blockers

No, it’s not the title of a title of a B movie about your teenagers who won’t get off the living room couch on a Saturday night after you and the wife have had a few martinis. Nor is it a short story of the stresses of modern life and the toll on your libido . It’s more an apt moniker for the Fabulous 14 Faculty at Montana State University who decided that money really can be dirty and there could be a price to pay in the end when you accept a wad of cash from the devil. Or in this case, the devils: the Koch brothers.

Now if you don’t know who the Kochs are, then you are truly fortunate in your ignorance and should stop reading right now before you become tainted. Charles and David Koch are the proverbial creepy uncles with candy in their pockets every time the nieces and nephews come to visit. And in this instance, those little ones digging deep into Koch pockets are cash strapped university campuses across the country who believe that because money is green it’s perfectly acceptable to put it in their mouths. Honest folks, there are no strings attached, just cash that check. Who wouldn’t trust the bankrollers of Citizens United?

Back to Montana State University, home of the Jake Jab’s School of Business and the Greg Gianforte ‘I’m running for Governor and would like a building named after me’ something school or building, or something. Last week, and after nearly two years of debate in quiet corners of higher education, 14 faculty members said enough and ‘no’ we aren’t that desperate for cash on this campus. Then again, it really was only 5.7 million. Hell, Greg the Body Slammer dug deeper into his dirty pockets than that. Don’t get lost in the irony that it was just two short years ago that this same sort of debate took place in the rare air of a Board of Regents meeting in Havre. Fast forward just two years to Havre at the end of this May. At least we won’t have to suffer the heart wrenching debate of those wiser than the rest of us, only to have them pop that candy into their greedy mouths after all.

There ought to be some kind of policy or guidelines damnit! Isn’t that what the Regents proclaimed two years ago after they dried their tears? Wasn’t Clay Christian and his high paid staff going to build some sideboards to help the most simple of us know what we should do when faced an indecent proposal like this?Well maybe not. Clearly it takes some folks with a deeper sense of morality to do that. Don’t get too excited though, a two vote spread is a little like that old saying about ‘close’, it only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. In this case, close means no shrapnel in your academic ass. This time.

And as for you ‘YES‘ voters, well, you’re just a bunch of Koch Sucklers.