alternative music – definitely dark

Category Archives: Special Advisory

what a year its been, marked with personal tragedies and personal transformation. i’m a better man for it, certainly, but with no musical output to show for it. still, there’s lots of fodder to feed lyrics, should i need to write any. the only real limiter is the one that stopped production last june: lack of time.

an lp release is, realistically, too large to promise anymore. i’d like to push / pull / drag an ep release by the fall though. no promises. just know that i want it more than you do.

so… not a lot of work on the project recently. two of my family members were diagnosed with cancer within a week of each other. then, if that wasn’t enough, my pet dies. more than that, it was suffering greatly and i had to make the hard choice to have it euthanized.

lots of dark feelings for album material, if i could just drag my ass back to the microphone. sadly, there are more people than just me coping with the turmoil, and i’m needed still.

funny, but when i said we’d have the album out by the end of the year i truly thought that was more than enough time. now it seems like it might be barely enough.

anyway… that’s what’s up. many thanks to apriorism for keeping his ears and eyes open for us. it’s good to be missed.

since releasing “birth (the end)” as a ‘non-single’ (no hoopla, no video), i’ve wondered how to explain it. in series with the rest of the album tracks, i think its purpose is clear. as a stand-alone composition, it loses that context.

but in this era where albums in their entirety have been largely supplanted by the shuffle mentality, sequential experience isn’t really a realistic expectation.

so there is it is: “birth” is meant to be evocative, not entertaining. it sets the mood for what comes after. the closing track for the forthcoming album, “death (the beginning)”, will be similarly constructed, and will conclude what comes before. neither track will have a place on anyone’s mixtape or iPod, but they’ re essential bookends on ‘rage, hate, and fluffly bunnies’.

still debating whether RH&FB will be 5 or 6 long. much depends on how happy we are with “daffodils in springtime” (which at this rate might be the last song produced).

some good happenings this week. in addition to releasing our second video, we got some more love from the ottawa music community

on tuesday, deathdisco’s dolston, while acknowledging that he might have to step back a few paces for a well-deserved breather, took time out to praise others on the scene, including asw and our talented colleague Nick Doyle:

“The good thing is that I am thinking about slowing down when other people have started doing more…. There are new music projects forming in Ottawa – Apriorism, Antisocialworkers… The dark music scene here is vibrant and new people are coming in every week.”

nice to know that dark music and new projects are embraced, particularly by luminaries of the scene.

blessing #2: our music will get its first club play (that we’re aware of) at Industrial Overload on May 18.

sometime, sometime, sometime
will come a time when
all the things you’ve done
will be accounted for
and in time, in time, in time
you’re gonna find that
all the pain you’ve caused
will come back to you some way

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him, as the wheel follows the foot of the ox that draws the carriage.”*

who are you?
no-one really knows, do they?
but i know, and i’ve seen what lies ahead

(sometime, sometime, sometime…)

stop. look at me. i know you
i see what the others can’t
you are all that is evil in the world today
no. don’t laugh. listen,
because to my eyes you are transparent, empty, barren, a fraud

charmed only by the sound of your own voice,
and captivated by the tales of your own deeds
imbued with polite arrogance and condescending disdain
woven in the words that escape your smiling lips
or in concealed contempt imprisoned
behind the gleaming bars of your whitened teeth

who are you?
no-one really knows, do they?
but i know, and i’ve seen what lies ahead

(sometime, sometime, sometime…)

It is said that “as a cowherd with his staff drives his cows into the stable,
so do Age and Death drive the life of men**
blinded by your own conceit you believe that you drive yourself
but in your intoxication with your own desires and conquests
you fail to observe the sun passing over you,
the earth moving under you,
the time enveloped around you
pulling you toward an inevitable end

what will you find there?
only the rewards rightly due to the one
who never invested in the well being of others
nursed a savings of happy memories
or founded a treasury framed by place and purpose
and fortified by bonds, love, gratitude, legacy

but what awaits you?
i know – i’ve seen what lies ahead

(sometime, sometime, sometime…)

look over your shoulder
do you see them now?
they’ve already begun moving toward you
they noticed you a long time ago

you’ve never met them
and yet you know them well
they are as you are,
and someday they will be what you were

looking as you looked
taking what you took,
becoming what you became
until you are no more

in time, “the wicked man burns by his own deeds, as if burnt by fire”.**
the crowd is already gathering
but how long is the time that remains?
i know – i’ve seen what lies ahead

(sometime, sometime, sometime…)

” There is no fire like passion, there is no shark like hatred, there is no snare like folly, there is no torrent like greed.”***

because nonentity was written, recorded and a video produced all in one day, a few things were missed. one was a bass part that wasn’t fitting well, so it was scrapped in favour of a pure guitar massacre. in addition, there were a few technical issues with the original one-take recording.

now, a remixed and slightly more polished song comes to you, complete with the same crappy video (well… very slightly altered):

nonentity (4:35)

i have no body
i have no soul
i’m the remainder of a fully-absent whole

i’m without purpose
i’m without form
i am the nothing that ought never have been born

i’m watching – not seeing
i’m using – not needing
i’m hurting – not feeling
i’m breathing – not being

i have no family
i have no love
i am invisible from attention i’m unworthy of

i am irrelevant
a crass mistake
i am a burden, beyond anyone’s desire to take

i’m watching – not seeing
i’m using – not needing
i’m hurting – not feeling
i’m breathing – not being

my mind is rabid
my heart is gaunt
i have no conscience to prevent me from taking what I want

it’s you i blame and hate and damn
because you are the criminal who has made me what i am

i’m watching – not seeing
i’m using – not needing
i’m hurting – not feeling
i’m breathing – not being

yes indeed. no explanation, no warning email, just a flat-out denial of service, with an admittedly kind invitation to appeal the suspension.

their prerogative, obviously, but it would have been nice to receive even a basic form letter providing some context.

we haven’t spammed anyone.

we’re not excessively following: our requests were targeted to individuals of interest.

we haven’t sent anything obscene (unless you count an RT of another non-suspended user who used an expletive to comment about cartoonist Tim Buckley’s revision of a webcomic to be more politically correct).

so far, we’re guilty of promoting our video and our new account on Facebook, in between other bits of humour and observation.

and i suppose we have a name that could offend people who aren’t diligent enough to realize it’s a mashup.

apologies to our two followers. thankfully, seeing as this was brand new, more people weren’t affected.

note to twitter: a restored and VERIFIED account would be a great kiss-and-make-up gesture.

(it’d be nice to think they’d actually check our website as part of the appeal process)