Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dodging Death

I've been in some dangerous places in the last 15 years. Looking back, the highest risk I've usually faced has been due to exhaustion. I remember working security in busy, drug-riddled clubs, and being perhaps the most "out of it" of anyone in the club, I was so tired. I remember falling asleep 12 or 14 times driving back from downtown Atlanta to Roswell late Saturday morning.

Fortunately, I've not been quite so tired, most times, in the past few years. That has changed some with adapting to my new work schedule. Since it's not fixed yet, it's a little harder to adjust. Yesterday, I left work, hurried home and bustled around doing last-minute chores, and then headed out for North Carolina.

I fell asleep just after my 31st mile in, waking up as my wheel crossed the rumble strip onto the shoulder. I fell asleep twice more in the next five miles, before my Drenbuterol "workout supplement" finally kicked in.

It's Father's Day. I am filled with so many thoughts, of confusion, nostalgia, sadness, love, longing. Thinking about both all those emotions about fathering and driving makes this song the only real choice for today.