A good friend told me I needed to find a "release." They reminded me I used to draw and play piano. For some reason, I forgot about these two things I loved to do. About 2 weeks ago, I bought some art supplies and put them away. I was having a bad, sleepless night due to nightmares and finally pulled them out. It gave me a focus and kept my mind in some order, plus the night went by quicker. Here is what came out of my head.

Whispers

Whispers in my ear, of my own soul I hold near. They portray me and betray me, They will not leave me be. My mind it will not settle, these whispers cause me pain. My heart, my mind, my body and soul. Has everything been in vain?

These whispers keep me up at night, In sleep they don't refrain. They speak of loss, of sorrow, of anger and rage, of things I'll never attain. I cannot smile, I cannot breathe. I fear that everyone can see. The confusion and the fear, the vulnerable side of me.

How did all this happen? Why was I so blind? I want things back the way they were, Peaceful in my mind.

I became so lost, my entire world torn I fight back for being wronged and it's me who ends up scorned.

I'll never understand what happened, how my whole world fell apart. But I'll struggle, claw and grasp at straws to mend my deadened heart.

Am I perfect? No, far from it. I don't know how to react. The anger wells, the fear, it swells. My jealousy, a Devils pact.

There is no God, there cannot be. The bullshit people say. It does not help, or justify being treated in this way. A bitch, and ass hole is what you say I am. I hope that's not what you thought of me before the lies and scams.

A struggle between light and darkness
like good verses evil
each a powerful contender.
In the light a small boat
with a record of doing good
now overcome in a unforeseen storm
desperate with loss.
The battle pursues
with darkness fast approaching.
Undetected in the distance
a large ship
sees the distressed boat
with its sails aglow in the light.
A symbolic rescue
when evil
seems to be winning
even though you're in the light.