Space Sloth

Each day I get on the train to make the half hour voyage into San Francisco for work, I am surrounded by people using their phones. Many have iPhones or iPads, and have a setting turned on that lets me send them unsolicited files through AirDrop. Where Apple envisioned it as a way to send useful files and websites to friends and acquaintances, I use it to send photos of sloths to strangers. And not just any sloths, but sloths wearing spacesuits.

I’ve done it perhaps a hundred times, and the thrill has not waned one little bit. I’ve seen reactions that range from amused to confused, but never has anyone been visibly angered.

Part of the act involves a poker face and pretending to be doing something more important so as not to be caught. Though the beauty of the technology is that your targets can be far away by the time you’ve done the deed. You may think I’m looking at a spreadsheet or playing Candy Crush, but I am trying desperately to hold my shit together knowing you saw Neil Armslow.