In the week where TV fans are lamenting the silencing of an animatronic cat, I might have just the thing to cheer you up. The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell is a strange box of delights, released on Netflix in the build-up to Halloween, which is of course goth Christmas.

This out-there show is based around wholesome pastimes of baking, crafting and sewing but Christine specialises in some shocking creations. And she sets out her stall early. The first thing we see is Christine painting what seems to be an actual human skull and then absentmindedly biting off a spiders leg. Our host is a totally glamorous 1950s housewife with a sort of romantic Snow White look about her. Her set is a gorgeous pastel coloured kitchen with gothic hints in the spiderweb patterned kitchen cabinets. It’s as if the Stepford Wives weren’t obliging robots at all but had their own secret coven.

Odd enough right? Well, lets meet her team. Christine’s rag-tag adopted family are all incredible puppets made by the Jim Henson Company. The stand-out star here is resurrected roadkill Rose who leaks partially digested food out of her seams. Not letting a little thing like that hold her back she’s a insatiably horny murderous scene-stealer, with hobbies including eating herself into a diabetic coma, torturing neighbours and humping gnomes. Rankle is the sarcastic talking mummified cat from ancient Egypt (a descendant or ancient ancestor of Salem, depending on how you see it) who still expects to be worshiped. Big cuddly Edgar looks to be part Bigfoot, part werewolf, there’s a giant one-eyed fuzz ball in the basement and huge but useful tentacles that live in the fridge. The creatures, especially Rose and Rankle, definitely get the best lines. These Henson creations are certainly not kid-friendly and the show would be hideously saccharine without them.

For a program ostensibly about baking, it’s astounding that zero cakes actually get made. It’s like joining an episode of the Great Transylvanian Bake Off mid-way through a showstopper challenge when the dull and messy jobs are done. Christine’s specialities are sculpting, painting, and decorating with enviable precision. Everything she produces is extremely obsessively beautiful, everything is a masterpiece. Piped royal icing teeth and claws seem to be her trademark, which looks like the fiddliest job ever. If Marilyn Mason ever gets married again he knows who to get in to do the buffet.

So it’s light on baking but heavy on message. “I don’t think we need to worry ourselves over labels” says Christine with a doe-eyed look to camera when Edgar arrives, likely to be pursued by an angry mob wielding torches and pitchforks. She’s an unconventional Mother Teresa, welcoming all her freaky children to her home, “a place where the strange and unusual are welcome”. And woe betide anyone who tries to cross them. The neighbours are not on board with these unconventional residents. Gleefully Rose offers to kill them in their sleep and burn down their houses. Christine prefers to send them gift baskets. “You know you can buy stuff like that” says Rose. That’s the only time Christine looks like she might really lose her shit. Turns out evil can be easily contained – “The cruel universe is indifferent to your suffering!” threatens the ominous Rankle, but never fear – he’s easily distracted “Oooh cake!”

Rose the chocolate fiend

Curious Creation is fun, but you won’t learn much. It reminds me a lot and in all the right ways of Good Eats with Alton Brown back in its heyday, with similar fantasy and comic elements and lovable but unlikely recurring characters. Pleasingly its dark humour doesn’t actually jar all that much with the homely setting. It’s perfect easy-watching and delightfully horrific all at once.

For an expert view on this kooky television experience we now turn to Laura from Full To The Brum who on a recent sugar high overdosed on the whole series. Enjoy her blow by blow account below, and why not get interactive with the Curious Creations Drinking Game. Alcohol might be the only thing to help make sense of it all…

Episode One

Peanut butter pretzel cookie bone seems a bit sickly…all that peanut butter, and sugar and now milk chocolate. Wait, airbrushing tools? Oh sure, I can pick up the ingredients at my local supermarket, you’re right Christine, but airbrushing tools…come on. Who has airbrushing tools at home?!

Is she showing us how to make this epic house cake like we should have a go at doing it ourselves? If so, where are the ingredients…why isn’t she showing us how to construct the cake. At least the Cake Boss shows us the construction stage. That bloody airbrushing machine is back.

WHO MAKES A BACK UP HOUSE CAKE?!

I’m erring towards liking the bonkers kitschy horror stuff, but the cooking things are a bit weird – are we supposed to be getting inspired or just perving on the baking? I’m definitely not making any of these, so I’m assuming it’s just the voyeurism.

Christine clearly should have been an architect

Episode Two

Oh now we’re seeing the construction of a cake. Why wouldn’t you build up the sheets of cake with the icing in between and then carve it? Oh look, there she is doing things off camera again. Such a tease.

Yeah sure, what this thing needs is more sugar.

Okay, now we’re making candles. I’m genuinely confused as to whether we’re supposed to be making these things at home. Because I don’t know what sort of house you live in, but in mine sculpting tools are not regularly used. The candles do look cool, but also a lot of effort just to burn.

Candy cane horns, well at least this looks relatively simple. So far this is the only thing I could see normal people actually making. Okay, and these eyeball chocolate chip cookies don’t look completely crazy to recreate either. Although I’m not sure I’d know where to get clear piping gel. Also, what does clear piping gel taste like?

“You know you can buy stuff like that…I mean, you can buy all of this.” Yes Rose, yes you can. And it’s a damn sight easier. I’d just buy something from Conjurer’s Kitchen.

Episode Three

What is brioche donut dough? Is it brioche or is it a donut, just pick one. Wait – now there’s a sculpting tool that’s like a mini sander?! Sure, I’ll just get mine out of the kitchen draw. I’m still lost on whether we’re supposed to be learning to make these or just marvelling at them.

Ooh savoury – chicken pot pie sounds good. I’m kinda getting used to the idea we’re only getting half recipes but a pie is not a pie if it only has a pastry top. I don’t care if you make a pastry looking chicken to top it, put the pastry in the pot and make a proper pie.

Okay sure, now we’re making a dress.

What, this old thing?!

Episode Four

Ooh, this tip on how to get a smooth shortbread is kinda handy. I’m not sure I’d use it to make my own Ouija board, but maybe for Christmas cookies. Ah, the airbrushing machine is back, starting to think I might be the only person who doesn’t consider this a kitchen essential. Kinda amused that for a woman who is so extra in her baking, she uses isomalt because it has less steps than alternatives. To be fair, it does look really cool.

She’s talking about basic ingredients again. The airbrush machine is going to make another appearance isn’t it? Wait, is she making a chocolate teacups…is there going to be a chocolate teapot too?

What random non-food related item are we going to make this episode? Hats? Hats! Of course! Oh no, we’re not going to make hats, we’re going to have a tea party with a side of family drama instead.

Episode Five

The strange instructions are back – we’re being shown how to put icing on a cake and layer them together, but not how to add doweling rods into the cake.

Christine is on about royal icing again. If you wanted to have a drinking game to this show royal icing would definitely have to be on the list. And the airbrushing machine, we can’t forget the airbrushing.

Now we’re going to learn to make bat wings with supplies you’ve “probably got around your house”. As opposed to going to Poundland and buying them cheap and with a lot less hassle. Wait, bendable wire and latex…WHO KEEPS LIQUID LATEX IN THEIR HOUSE?!

Norman is being weird, of course he is. He’s in a weird kitschy horror baking craft show and he’s called Norman, and he’s handy with a knife.

Halloween – the most magical time of the year!

Episode Six

I’m loving the Halloween being like Christmas for the household. But the amount of tools required to make these sunken head baubles make me think it might just be easier to get those hanging Christmas chocolates for the tree, or some popcorn garlands if you’re feeling retro.

Christine has said ‘royal icing’ approximately a billion times already this episode. Drink up.

Ginger Dead House, nice. This isn’t going to be complicated at all, is it Christine? What’s that, you’re just getting out the brûlée tool. I sort of feel a bit cheated that we didn’t get to see more of it being made, but the ginger dead house is stunning.

Christine is suggesting that these edible spiders only use three simple ingredients. Sure, but I bet she’s going to pull out some random piece of machinery to decorate them. Just the air brush? How dull.

Thoughts

I’m not entirely sure what I’ve just watched. It was like Cake Boss meets The Muppets meets Blue Peter all run through a bad batch of LSD. It’s easy watching, but the treats are just that bit too technical to make at home, but I expect anyone that has some experience with artistic baking would find them a bit too amateurish. The show is utterly bonkers, which makes it kind of compelling, and the episodes are short which makes them easy to consume.

We have our own local macabre baker extraordinaire in Birmingham, Annabel de Vetten of Conjurer’s Kitchen. For a real life version of this, minus the puppets, I’d certainly recommend checking out her stuff and the taste-a-longs at the Electric Cinema to cult films are a lot of fun.

]]>https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/11/07/the-curious-creations-of-christine-mcconnell-netflix/feed/0curious-2-1sarahhamsteracurious-creations-rose-chocolatesthe-curious-creations-of-christine-mcconell-houseCCCM2curious-halloween‘Mystery Road’ – BBC4https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/25/mystery-road-television-series-review/
https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/25/mystery-road-television-series-review/#respondThu, 25 Oct 2018 11:53:57 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/25/mystery-road-television-series-review/Entertainment Views: Star rating: **** A new BBC Four crime drama from Australia, Mystery Road is worth a watch if you enjoy this particular genre and fancy a fresh take on your standard whodunit. From the first episode the scene is set, and the location sets the tone of the drama, the…]]>

Here’s a tip from Helen at entertainmentviews.co.uk on how to help fill the gap The Bridge left behind. How about a foreign detective drama shot in a bright warm landscape where you don’t have to read any subtitles? Aussie drama Mystery Road was on BBC4 earlier this year. If you missed it why not enter her competition to win a copy on DVD?

A new BBC Four crime drama from Australia, Mystery Road is worth a watch if you enjoy this particular genre and fancy a fresh take on your standard whodunit.

From the first episode the scene is set, and the location sets the tone of the drama, the team behind the show have certainly made the most of what Western Australia has to offer and it makes for some superb shots. The areas of Aboriginal land which were also used and added to the atmospheric approach which provided a very real overall feel to the television series.

The central character of Detective Jay Swan (Aaron Pederson) came across as somewhat of an introvert in the loosest sense, my initial impression of him was that of arrogance and nonchalance – certainly not an instantly likeable individual. However, as he gets to work on the task in hand…

]]>https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/25/mystery-road-television-series-review/feed/0Featured Image -- 16327sarahhamstera‘Making a Murderer: Part 2’ – Netflixhttps://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/23/making-a-murderer-part-2-netflix/
https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/23/making-a-murderer-part-2-netflix/#respondTue, 23 Oct 2018 15:10:42 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/?p=16322Continue reading "‘Making a Murderer: Part 2’ – Netflix"]]>Fifteen years ago if you had an extensive collection of serial killer literature on your bookshelf your date might leave with certain preconceptions about you and they might not be in a hurry to see you again. These days they’ll probably ask you what podcasts you’re listening to, whether you’ve seen The Staircase or who you think really killed Sister Cathy in The Keepers. True crime has come out of the closet and the first major show on Netflix that did that was Making a Murderer. Even if you were living under a rock three years ago you’d still have heard about it. It was easily Netflix’s most talked-about series ever, and arguably the most important true crime TV show in decades. Now it returns for a long-awaited second series.

The original investigative filmmakers Laura Ricciardi and Moira Demos are back and hard at work, embedded in the ongoing troubles of the Avery family and their apparent relentless persecution by the American justice system. If you need a quick refresher Steven Avery was originally convicted of a sexual assault on Penny Beerntsen despite having a solid alibi. For that he served an 18 year sentence. That conviction was finally overturned in 2003 and he was freed. He then filed a $36 million civil lawsuit against Manitowoc County and the law enforcement officers who framed him. Just two years later Avery and his 16 year old nephew Brendan Dassey were tried and convicted by those same institutions for Teresa Halbach’s murder. She’d disappeared after photographing a car at Avery’s salvage yard. The hugely flawed conviction was clear to anyone with even a passing interest in how the police should work as vulnerable Brendan was coerced into his confession during a hugely irresponsible questioning where he had no responsible adult or legal council present. The video footage of his confession remains grueling to watch.

The case was given a huge media spotlight, thanks to the international success of the documentary and despite speculation that both Steven and Brendan would be awarded a retrial, at the start of series two they are both still in prison. The first series had such an impact that the then President of the United States had to release a statement saying his office couldn’t overturn a state conviction.

All the more fodder for the filmmakers. Of course they’ll be happy to talk about the success of the show but to their credit, they don’t shy away from the negative impact it had either. The passionate audience response seems to have taken almost everyone involved by surprise. The convicted men receive so many cards and letters in prison they know the outside world hasn’t forgotten them. Steven’s mother Dolores has a scrapbook made by one fan and Brendan’s mother Barbara has a quilt stitched by another from which they draw comfort. It seems slightly unhinged for someone you’ve never met to do this but they’ve been swept up in the drama. These strong outpourings of emotion feel like support to the family still living in Manitowoc County and dealing with their notoriety. Somewhat inevitably, alongside this positivity we have the death threats sent to Ken Kratz, the original Special Prosecutor, and others on the State’s side of the case. I can absolutely understand why people would have been outraged enough to protest outside the court building. People are frustrated at the system that claims to represent them and they want to make their voices heard, but it’s indefensible when that anger becomes harassment and threats.

Footage from Brendan’s coerced confession

And between the two raucous factions stoked by the media circus we have the Halbach family and friends, quietly but firmly trying to keep her memory alive. I wonder whether they knew what they were getting into. Their powerful statement accuses Netflix and all associated with the series of making “profit from our loss”. The part in true crime that often gets forgotten is the word “true”. There are real victims, real suffering, real grief. This isn’t Agatha Christie, Dorothy L Sayers or Raymond Chandler. This isn’t yet another beautiful dead woman on CSI or Law and Order. This is real life. True crime is entertainment, but our enthusiasm should always be tempered with this knowledge.

The first few episodes of this series deal with the stories of Brendan and Steven’s new legal teams – the post-conviction lawyers. Enter Kathleen Zellner, who holds the record for reversing more wrongful conviction cases than any other private attorney in America. Zellner is clear from the outset – she’s determined to never again represent someone who is guilty. Historically Zellner had defended a serial killer who confessed his 21 murders to her (dealt with as a side note here but easily worthy of a series all to itself).

Kathleen Zellner, Steven Avery’s post-conviction lawyer

While Brendan’s conviction is based entirely on his flawed confession, Steven’s is based entirely on circumstantial forensics. The blood stains and DNA in Teresa’s car are key to the whole case, and Zellner agrees. The dots aren’t joined up so she and her team get down to work with extensive, sometimes gory, experiments to try and replicate what the prosecution says happened. It’s quickly apparent that it didn’t happen like they said it did in court. Zellner says “Once I uncover one lie I know there’s a whole lot more”. It’s up to Zellner not just to show Steven didn’t and couldn’t have killed Teresa, but to show how it was done, and maybe point to who as well. When that’s spelled out it seems like an insurmountable task but Zellner seems like the sort of woman to inspire great confidence. Dassey now seems legally well looked after too, with experts Steve Drizin and Laura Nirider in his corner. They have a sign on the wall in their office ‘Coerced confession = Wrongful conviction’.

It’s gratifying for the audience to see Zellner jump on the same holes in the evidence as the audience did, especially flagging up the villain of the piece, prosecutor Ken Kratz. Zellner accuses him of “egregious prosecutorial misconduct” and says it will be “a pleasure to unmask Mr Kratz”. He says he was just doing his job, and he and his original team stand by the convictions, despite them looking remarkably shaky to the rest of us. He’s also adamant that Ricciardi and Demos left vital evidence out of series one as it didn’t fit their narrative. Their right of reply is another 10 part critically-acclaimed series; his is just a handful of interviews to the media which doesn’t seem exactly well-balanced.

As with the first series, Making a Murderer is a tough watch. We’re all hoping for some progress, or at least assurance that people working in the justice system are trying to solve the problems highlighted, but it remains clear that US judicial and legal process are weighted heavily against people in poverty, people without much education, people with learning disabilities or mental illnesses. It’s been three high-profile years but little has changed.

The big question for viewers, maybe bigger still than “What really happened?” is “Can it really be as gripping as the original?” Well, so far, so good. We have the trademark manipulative but totally thrilling cliffhangers to encourage a massive weekend binge. But can there really be enough twists and turns to sustain another meaty and detail-heavy ten episode run? And are the filmmakers highlighting miscarriages of justice in a public-spirited attempt to change the system or are they merely cashing in on a tragic, legal soap opera? As long as they keep the suffering families in mind at all times, both Halbach and Avery, we as viewers can remain hopeful.

]]>https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/23/making-a-murderer-part-2-netflix/feed/0makingresdefault (1)sarahhamsteraBrendan-Dassey-in-Making-A-Murderer-Part-1-1561943kathleencloseup‘Big Mouth’: Series 2 – Netflixhttps://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/17/big-mouth-series-2-netflix/
https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/17/big-mouth-series-2-netflix/#respondWed, 17 Oct 2018 16:20:27 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/?p=16312Continue reading "‘Big Mouth’: Series 2 – Netflix"]]>Have you seen Big Mouth on Netflix? It’s an animated series that is joyful, sordid, intelligent, stupid, revolting and tender all at once. Like the painful adolescence it portrays so well it almost defies description. It’s created by Nick Kroll, Andrew Goldberg, Mark Levin, and Jennifer Flackett and based on Kroll and Goldberg’s teenage years growing up in Westchester County, New York. Nick Kroll voices his fictional self. Can you imagine anything more cathartic to redress the issues of your adolescent years. It’s essentially an animated version of Mortified with a lot more jokes.

Our 6th graders surfing the hormone tide are Nick and Andrew and their friends Jessie, Missy and Jay. Sooner or later their own personal hormone monster comes calling and will not leave them alone. Maurice is the male monster come to frustrate, antagonise and educate the boys – he’s often-times unhinged and absolutely uncontrollable. Connie the ‘monstress’ is a particular favorite of mine. She’s a wildly insatiable earth-mother in-tune with her emotions and preaching body confidence to the girls. But in the next breath she’s telling Jessie “You want to scream at your mother and laugh at her tears”. Reader, a more accurate description of female adolescence does not exist.

Appealingly, and unusually for an animated series, all the characters are fully realised, not just the self-conscious teenagers, but their parents, the kindly but freakish Coach Steve, the monsters and fantastically the ghost of Duke Ellington on hand to dish out fairly sketchy advice on the birds and the bees. Even characters without features come alive via fantasy as with Jay’s pillow girlfriend which is probably one of the strangest and most disgusting characters, and easily the most difficult to describe. You just gotta watch it.

It’s a whole new world for Jessie and Missy

Their satire is absolutely savage and always right on the money. “We need to love ourselves for who we are!” says Missy at the start of Series 2. “I’m in an online community called ‘Girls Are Perfect and There’s Not a Thing Wrong With Any One of Them and Anyone Who Would Tell You Otherwise Is Actually Just Afraid of Your Power!’”

“Is there anything like that, but for pubescent boys?” Andrew asks meekly. “Oh ho ho yeah, it’s called, ‘society’ you privileged white, cis-hetero male!” Missy chortles. Poor Andrew; if he had the words and could actually articulate them in front of a girl, would beg to differ.

2018 presents us with a uniquely fraught context for a series like this but I don’t think it could come at a better time. Without making it the focus Big Mouth is teaching by stealth. Don’t be a victim of your base instincts, but don’t deny them either; be more understanding of human sexuality and you might end up being a better happier person. It’s a show that zigzags from heartwarming to gross-out sometimes in a matter of seconds so never gets too hand-wringy.

One slight criticism would be that the start of Series 2 seems to have sacrificed some of the funny to make more room for the stories. Hopefully they’re not flagging (as fellow Netflix sitcom The Good Place looks to be) as there’s years worth of material yet to be mined. We’re promised that the Hormone Monsters will be joined by something called the Shame Wizard so that’s got to be an extra helping of cringe to look forward to.

Relive your akward teenage shame in the best possible way and treat yourself to the full two series on Netflix now.

]]>https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/17/big-mouth-series-2-netflix/feed/0big-mouth-teaser-1000x500sarahhamsterabig mouth‘Doctor Who – The Woman Who Fell to Earth’ BBC 1https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/08/doctor-who-the-woman-who-fell-to-earth-bbc-1/
https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/08/doctor-who-the-woman-who-fell-to-earth-bbc-1/#respondMon, 08 Oct 2018 09:10:36 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/?p=16313Continue reading "‘Doctor Who – The Woman Who Fell to Earth’ BBC 1"]]>“I’m a traveller” says Jodie Whittaker’s newly regenerated Doctor. You and me both, love. I missed the fanfare for the new series last night as I was stuck on a train somewhere outside Bristol Parkway. Yes I know it’s 2018 and I could have watched it on my phone but the wifi was horrendous and there were no ancient alien adventurer ready to help me in my time of need as far as I could see.

But who knows what they look like theses days? Other than awesome coats in common they could look like anyone. This regenerating alien character who assumes human form is no longer the privilege of men. As the adverts cleverly said, it’s about time. So we’ll have no more creepy paternal romances with a subordinate companion figure, thank you very much. But she retains the benevolent feelings towards humanity in general and her mission is still helping people in distress – the universal fourth emergency service. And this time with the Tardis being MIA it won’t feel quite so odd if the stories end up being relentlessly earthbound, although we can but hope she and her big blue box are reunited soon.

There was much to love in this first 60 minute episode. Jodie’s character seems to strike all the right notes; the wonder, the restlessness, the silliness and the dependability that are cornerstones of the show. I loved her costume when she finally chose it, and that it came from a charity shop junk pile. It was great watching her bodge together her own DIY sonic screwdriver. The cinematography was gorgeous and the way that Sheffield didn’t have to pretend to be London was very welcome indeed (poor Cardiff, you were cheated – South Wales deserved more than a being stand-in). And it’ll be interesting to see how her Scooby gang, their characters and their relationships will develop over time. I predict Tosin Cole as Ryan will be a much more confident and capable young man in no time at all. I was very disappointed that easily the brightest person we met, and the one most enthusiastic about adventures with the Doctor was killed off, but tragedy is a effective if rather blunt tool to cohere the team around.

Bradley Walsh seemed much more at home with the serious parts of the script than the attempts at humour, as if he’d left his cheeky chappie persona on the set of The Chase and resumed work as a dour policeman on Law & Order UK. This is fine, and a good reminder of the proper acting he’s capable of, but I had high hopes for him carrying the comedy here. The humour in general seemed badly timed and a bit off throughout.

Tonally it all felt a bit flat and to my mind the pacing of the whole episode wasn’t great. There’s got to be a balance between madly, breathlessly running around a spaceship occasionally pausing to yell “There’s no time to lose!” and this amble through Sheffield at night that the first episode presented us with. It’ll be good to see Jodie on an intergalactic battlefield trying to talk both sides down from the brink of war – we’ve yet to see her stretch herself or make any really inspiring dramatic speeches. The writer Chris Chibnall and director Jamie Childs seemed to have that extended episode time at the forefront of their mind, and even with a murderous alien on the rampage picking off innocent humans there was no massive sense of urgency in any of the action. I’m extremely hopeful about this series and quite willing to watch another episode, but I hope someone rigs up a car battery quickly and gives it that electric shock it needs.

Stuck somewhere in need of entertainment? Got a better wifi connection than the average Cross Country train? Then watch the first episode of the new run now on iPlayer and let me know in the comments or on Facebook what you thought.

]]>https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/10/08/doctor-who-the-woman-who-fell-to-earth-bbc-1/feed/016566262-low-res-doctor-who-series-11sarahhamstera‘The Circle’ – Channel 4https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/09/19/the-circle-channel-4/
Wed, 19 Sep 2018 18:12:10 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/?p=16305Continue reading "‘The Circle’ – Channel 4"]]>The Circle is a new social media reality show, launched in the week that Channel 5 has finally confirmed what viewers have known for years. Big Brother, once the undisputed king of reality shows, is dead as a dodo. It’s strange times indeed in telly land. The Circle was trailed heavily on Channel 4 for weeks, with each advert being a full instruction manual for the show, not really helping the initial audience reaction that it was overly complicated. Then before and after every ad break the presenters Alice Levine (My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast, coming to HBO in 2019) and Maya Jama (dunno, off some youth radio show at a guess) took the opportunity to again explain the rules in painful detail. We get it – you’re expecting the audience to be on the thicker end of the education spectrum.

So this is the start of three weeks of Alice and Maya talking about a bunch of people talking to themselves in their pokey little flats, sorry apartments, with an all-knowing Alexa console for company unless they’ve had the foresight to bring their own baby or turtle for company. The twist on the classic Big Brother format is that they don’t ever meet face-to-face. All contact is conducted via a specially-designed social media platform – the eponymous Circle. The total number of contestants vying for the £50,000 prize is eight which is surely more than enough. But apparently people who get evicted get replaced! Dear God – is this Black Mirror? Is three weeks actually eternity? Will it ever end?

Alice and Maya explain the rules again, and again, and again – we’re none the wiser

So down to the fundamentals – how do you get people to like you? Are you true to yourself, as every Insta bio assure us is the way, the truth and the light, or are you more controlling of the image you portray to the world. Do you edit out your bad bits and concentrate on your good bits, both in your personality and your physicality or is it slightly repulsive to be so obviously manipulative? Is all this false advertising even ethical? Some of these contestants have said fuck ethics and they’re halfway to scamming retirees out of their pension as a sketchy African prince.

40 -year-old Jennifer is a game changer I was initially on board with. An older lady (for this frighteningly young demographic anyway) who says she’s taking part to make a point about the shallow Instagram generation. Unfortunately that point seems to be “I’m better than you”. She did so well for about the first five seconds of her anti-social media manifesto until she revealed her game plan was to impersonate a doctor because they’re a trusted profession. Worse still, she chose an oncologist – now that’s a bit fucking weird. And then jarringly in the first ad break we had a serious and sensitive advert for Stand Up to Cancer. Maybe Channel 4 didn’t quite intend it to play out like that but it was a bit sickening.

The Circle might be a very handy way to use social media as it work via voice commands and text-to-speech which will improve the contestants spelling loads (probably thanks to the show’s interns, typing 65 words of gibberish per minute). It was pretty pathetic watching grown human beings ask out loud for a particular emoji. And it’s handy for the viewer to have their names written next to every photo and message, because honestly even the winner of the World Memory Championships would struggle to remember who each person is without constant prompting.

The Circle contestants – confused and confusing

Youngster Alex is playing a character called Kate, allegedly using photos of his real-life girlfriend and seems to be catfishing a lad called Freddie, a screechy gay man “playing it straight” who is pretending to have a dead dog for the sympathy vote. Genelle is trying to keep the fact she has a small baby quiet. And estate agent Richard has brought his pet turtle with him for company and he’s clearly the stand-out star of the show. So, if you’re keeping count, that’s one dead dog, two live catfishes, one baby and one turtle. Personally I’m hoping that in a shocking twist Richard’s turtle will win the money, swimming off into the sunset with the lovely narrator from Bolton who easily has the best job on the show; to punctuate the collective self-obsessed narcissistic nonsense.

It’s half tempting to continue watching to find out exactly how they propose to measure popularity and what sort of challenges the contestants will be expected to carry out, given the confines of the show and their little living quarters. The first batch of contestants seem so wacky that they can’t possibly be genuine members of the public – there’s got to be an element of scripted reality. Who on earth would say yes dear boyfriend of mine, of course you can go on a flirty reality TV show and catfish people with my photos.

But I’m no expert – I’m closer to Jennifer’s age than Freddie’s. It was all so different 20 years ago when all you had to do for overnight internet popularity was make a few off-colour jokes and flash the merest hint of nipple on a grainy webcam. And yes, who hasn’t used filters to soften crows feet or hide a spot or two on a profile photo? That’s the acceptable end of the spectrum, right? How far will people on The Circle push it, and how sympathetic will the other contestants feel when they find out they’ve been lied to. Is honesty worth much in 2018 or is it all about the likes? The Circle hopes to find out.

The Circle is on Channel 4 for the next three weeks, or all eternity, depending on your point of view. Catch up with episode 1 now on All4 and see if you can figure out if it’s all worth it.

]]>the-circle-contestants-800x450sarahhamsteraCircle+heroThe-Circle-Viewers-confused-by-new-Channel-4-social-media-show-1019515‘The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice’ – Channel 4https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/09/14/the-great-british-bake-off-an-extra-slice/
Fri, 14 Sep 2018 12:02:27 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/?p=16301Continue reading "‘The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice’ – Channel 4"]]>With this new series of The Great British Bake Off Channel 4 is spoiling us. Can you remember way back to last year when we watched the first series after Love Productions split from the BBC through our fingers as the nation waited to be able to say “I told you it would be rubbish!”. Can you remember our collective confusion, bewilderment and joy because it was still good, maybe even better than before? It was very much the London 2012 Olympics of food-based competitive TV shows. What a glorious time to be alive (and able to properly digest gluten)!

And with Sandi, Noel, Prue and Paul making a glorious return to the tent on Tuesday nights there’s a new generous helping of sister show An Extra Slice on Fridays. Fortunately Jo Brand, the consummate professional that she is, was fine with the move from the Beeb to Channel 4 and nothing much changed at all. But now the show is settled the programme makers can confidently make some long-overdue changes. Extra Slice suffered because it always felt very rushed in the half hour format that Channel 4 inherited from Auntie Beeb, and of course the adverts we were all loath to accept ate into that time, so it was 23 minutes of telly at best. Speaking of adverts in Bake Off, who would have ever guessed we’d miss Dr Oetker and his choir of irritating singing cakes. Amazon spent £5 million on the prestigious slot to advertise the Echo and all they can come up with is forgettable line drawings? “Alexa show me an advert worthy of 6.1 million viewers”.

Alexa show me your best attempt at a hedgehog cake

With a whole hour to play with (minus ads) we have time for jokes, bloopers and general silliness from the cutting room floor. There’s more time for viewers photos with the laugh-out-loud inevitable hedgehog horror show. These days I’m hoping a bake goes so wrong I can be famous for five minutes. There’s also more time for cakes brought in to the studio by fans excited to show off their skills on national TV. This segment is now hosted by co-presenter Tom Allen (who fronts Bake Off: The Professionals, a show where all the joy of the original is dried out, desiccated, deconstructed and generally forgotten about). Well done to Tom on making audience interaction another highlight; his teasing barbs are perfectly crafted to add a sourer flavor to what can be an overly saccharine show. There’s much less eating of said home-made cakes though and no space for a chef on the panel each week. Maybe even with a big budget Channel 4 couldn’t afford the insurance needed to feed celebrities beetroot, garlic and haddock sponge cake or whatever terrifying concoction Mandy from Liverpool had brought all the way to London.

Like jam and cream, cinnamon and apple, chocolate and more chocolate, An Extra Slice is the perfect accompaniment to the Bake Off. And it’s on tonight, as a tasty reward for making it through the week.

An Extra Slice is on Friday nights at 8pm on Channel 4. Catch up on the series so far on All4.

]]>124e869d-9aa7-4a5d-89de-90abb4054e10sarahhamsteraHedgehog Cake Fail‘No Activity’ – BBC2https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/09/12/no-activity-bbc2/
https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/09/12/no-activity-bbc2/#respondWed, 12 Sep 2018 11:59:55 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/?p=16296Continue reading "‘No Activity’ – BBC2"]]>In its quivering excitement last week’s Radio Times didn’t seem quite sure if it was advertising the American remake of this comedy (picked up by Funny Or Die and set to star Will Ferrell) or the Australian original. Happily for UK viewers the accents gave us a clue. No Activity sees three pairs of colleges all trapped in classic sitcom situations, cleverly linked to create something much funnier than the sum of its parts. And those parts are pretty funny to begin with. There’s a clever use of the classic cop show opening credits – it looks like it’s going to be dark, tense and packed with bad-ass action. But from the title we know that’s not going to be the case.

On a stakeout outside a suspected drugs warehouse is Detective Hendy, a young and ambitious chap and his senior Detective Stokes, who seems a bit of a bumbling dreamer. They’ve spent far too much time together and will discuss just about anything that pops into their mind. The chief concern in episode one is the plaster dolphin statue in the back seat that just might stand out to any watching crims, but Stokes couldn’t bear to leave it sitting there on the street for the binmen. Their later chat about how Stokes has a vasectomy face made me laugh out loud.

Chatting to Car 72 is a team of radio dispatchers including Carol and April. It’s April’s first day and she and Carol aren’t exactly hitting it off. There’s an excruciating conversation about Carol’s teenage son Lachy and his physical needs which are satisfied at the moment with Carol’s laptop and private bathroom time. It’s revolting but somehow it’s April told off for inappropriate workplace conversation.

And inside the warehouse are to guards who would be easy to cast as dumb and dumber. Certainly Bruce seems as dumb as a box of rocks but the younger man Jimmy is a frustrated thespian with his crazy-eyed Mel Gibson impressions and his homily on the three par structure of good storytelling. The ongoing search for his biological father is proving harder than he’d ever imagined, frustrated by his mother’s unique energies – so far he’s met 67 men who ‘knew’ his mother.

No Activity‘s very simple paired structure weaves together beautifully. And it’s extremely funny moments. While we wait to see what Will Ferrell will make of it see the original first on BBC2.

The first two episodes are on iPlayer now. Episode three is on Sundays at 10:30pm.

]]>https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/09/12/no-activity-bbc2/feed/0no-activity-castsarahhamstera‘Bodyguard’ – BBC1https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/08/26/bodyguard-bbc1/
https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/08/26/bodyguard-bbc1/#respondSun, 26 Aug 2018 21:55:16 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/?p=16293Continue reading "‘Bodyguard’ – BBC1"]]>Jed Mercurio’s new six-part drama has been teased by pretty much all of the journalists and bloggers who were lucky enough to catch previews this week. He’s riding high with the continued success of Line of Duty, the next series of which was delayed Bodyguard – a timely story about trust, fear and terrorism. As promised, the first 20 minutes were edge-of-your-seat action hero stuff, but is there enough here to maintain interest for five more episodes?

Richard Madden is David Budd (looking about 600% more macho than the late lamented Robb Stark he played on Game of Thrones), a traumatised soldier back from Afghanistan. His brave and selfless actions foil a terrorist plot to blow up a train filled with passengers, including his own children. Both terrorists are also unharmed, again thanks to him. Desperate brainwashed Nadia (we find out her name a long way into her and David’s conversation – I thought textbook negotiation tactics are to get people’s names as a priority) is talked down from pressing the button on her suicide belt by stony-faced Dave. He then embraces her to keep the army from shooting her dead. Interestingly, everyone on the train ready to pull the trigger and make a mess is female. He’s in the nurturing role, caring for his children, for poor confused Nadia and trying to keep the peace. Everyone escapes, traumatised but alive. Well of course – not even Mercurio is going to blow up his main character in the first episode. Or at least, not this time.

So despite clearly needing time off to address deep-seated mental health issues, the top brass tell David he’s off on a new assignment to protect the Home Secretary Julia Montague (played by steely Keeley Hawes). He’s the dead-behind-the-eyes war hero, unable to bear his physical and mental scars much longer and she’s the politician who voted repeatedly for military action in Afghanistan. She’s the reason he was there in the first place. Is he going to act on these fantasies of killing politicians he and his mates had in the trenches? Frankly, the way he’s treated by these people in the corridors of power I think we would understand. Why on earth would you treat the people who are paid to take a bullet for you like utter shit? It’s the opposite of sensible and will almost definitely shorten your life expectancy.

Bodyguard is tense, sure, but is that enough? David is a sad cliché right now; an angry drunk with a broken marriage, unable to accept any therapy, trying to convince himself and the world everything is fine. It’s hard to tell what sort of character development we’ll get, with David and Julia both so buttoned-up and proper right now. I’m not sure what they can do with this format that’s new. If their relationship gets intimate (which swapping shirts for the Andrew Marr interview might hint at) is this going to be the UK version of Homeland? Home Secretary Land?

Will you be watching episode two? Personally, I’m not sold on it, but maybe Mercurio and team deserve the benefit of the doubt. Either way we don’t have long to decide, as episode two is on tomorrow night, and then slightly confusingly, continues one episode per week on a Sunday.

]]>https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/08/26/bodyguard-bbc1/feed/0bodyguardsarahhamstera‘Unforgotten’ Series 3 – ITVhttps://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/08/23/unforgotten-series-3-itv/
https://deadpixeltest.tv/2018/08/23/unforgotten-series-3-itv/#respondThu, 23 Aug 2018 12:58:23 +0000http://deadpixeltest.tv/?p=16287Continue reading "‘Unforgotten’ Series 3 – ITV"]]>SPOILER warning: this post deals with the final episode of Unforgotten Series 3. Do not read on unless you are up to date with both series 2 and 3. Catch up with all the box sets on ITV Hub now.

Unforgotten bowed out after a tremendous third series at the weekend. No one disagreed that it was an acting masterclass from start to finish, led by stalwarts Nicola Walker as DCI Cassie Stewart and Sanjeeve Bhaskar as DI Sunny Khan. Since inception this show has attracted top quality British actors. This series was dominated by awesome performances particularly from Alex Jennings, James Fleet and Neil Morrissey (getting better and better in each drama part,although here he certainly need more screen time). But I wasn’t expecting such a split opinion on the ending, especially as this has become a truly beloved British drama. I wasn’t immediately on board back at their humble beginnings, and I admit I snarked at the first episode back in 2015. I was very happy to be proven wrong; the atmosphere wasn’t lacking in comparison to Scandi drama – it was just different.

Online, people seemed annoyed that there was no twist in the tale and that the final episode ran out of steam. Although, thinking about it, do any of the series so far provide a neat and satisfying ending? In series 2 because of the nature of the crime, the number of perpetrators and the time passed the police decide there was no value in pursing and prosecuting anyone. Was this what the audience wanted? Do we demand everything tied up neatly in a bow? Or do we realise if you strive for realism on TV in style and storyline that endings will inevitably be messy, just like in real life?

I see why we are always on the lookout for twist endings, because that’s what run-of-the-mill detective shows, books and films rely on. As viewers we’re expecting the rug to be pulled from under us, especially in the final episode. And yes, it’s fun working it out and spotting who Keyser Söze is before the big reveal. But Unforgotten is a different beast. It’s always been a how-to guide on solving crimes. You don’t need a bolt from the blue accompanied by a badly-played violin to figure out who the killer is. What solves cases is dogged, determined and actually pretty dull – it’s methodical police work; the daily grind gets cases solved. Cassie, Sunny and their team built all their evidence against the last renaming suspect and simply presented it to him. Clever though he was Dr Tim Finch saw no way out so he confessed. And the fact that he’s been lying about his fundamental character for his entire adult life was a much more interesting ending than another ‘only in TV-land’ magic resolution.

Kudos to Alex Jennings for being a thoroughly respectable pillar of the community right up until the point he wasn’t. That tiny curve of his mouth into the hint of a smile when he got ready to admit his crimes was thoroughly terrifying. And of course it wasn’t just one teenage girl he’d raped and killed. He was a serial killer and finally the police had enough evidence to put him away. Ok so the interview wasn’t as tense as Line of Duty or as emotional as Broadchurch, but slow yet inevitable march of justice and the redemption of Dr Finch’s loyal and broken friends was what the whole series was about.

Cassie is done. As with everything in this world, her breakdown was totally unspectacular and quietly normal. It feels to me like this is a natural ending for the series. Who knows what Chris Lang and the team will do next? All we know is an announcement on Series 4 is due soon. Turns out you can’t accuse them of not building tension.