“What do you want Adnan?”, asks random coworker, let’s call him T.
“Hmmm… it would be nice if we had a better version control system. But you know what I really want? I want to go on a long train ride. That’s what I really want. Also a bucket load of money. Actually two bucket loads. Let’s make it three, three should be enough.”, my response dragging on slightly longer than expected.

This a couple of weeks ago. Now I’ve converted the want to a need. I need a long… long train ride. Clearly the TTC is not happening. I need something like from Toronto to Vancouver. A two or three day train ride. The destination not nearly as important as the journey. This is what I need.

“Why don’t you drive?”, asks my brother-in-law.
“Have to concentrate too much on the driving, train is free-er.”, I says. But really with a train, you’re not in control. You don’t control your turns; you can’t slow down or speed up. You don’t decide when you stop and when you go. I need to not be in control. I need to let go. I need a long train ride. That is what I need.

Another plus side with the train is… I couldn’t possibly get lost. I could get a GPS system for the car, to help with my directional disabilities. But why not just spend that money on a train ticket? Well… I could get lost within the train, but that would be sad on so many levels that we don’t discuss it here/now/ever. =)

In some ways I want to be lost. Maybe not lost, just away and disconnected. Though I’m not sure what I’m disconnecting from. Maybe it’s the location? my surrounding area? I know it’s not the people. People are fine. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it’s myself? It doesn’t matter. I don’t need to know.

I could take a bunch of books with me to read, or to use as paper weight. (Aside story here: when I was in India, in a bookstore picking up “Zen”, the Dilbert book and Blink. The dude at the counter asks me, “You should also buy The Tipping Point, what type of books do you read?”. I told him I don’t read books. “So then why are you buying these?”. I tell him: “I’m going to use them as paper weights”). I will have a deck of cards or two, or three. I will have a deck of cards or three. Might be a good time for me to do magic for strangers. Get over that shyness factor, ever so slightly. Who knows? I might even bol in public. =D

Via Rail has details on the ride here. Seems like Toronto to Vancouver is pricey. I might cut the trip short and go as far as Edmonton. Say “hi” to Basit. Hold hands for a while. Then jump back on the train the other way. Ride to Edmonton is still 2 full days. Yes Basit, I’m considering visiting you simply because it’s cheaper. This is what our relationship has come to. This whole train ride thing seems like it will require planning.

Hmmm… planning. yes. When do I go? I’m thinking maybe in the summer sometime… June/July/August maybe. I think I need to get this out of my system this year though.