It sucks to say, but I’ve gained weight. It sucks to say because when I start to gain weight, I get afraid of losing control. I worry that I am losing control of my ability to control my eating, my fitness level, and my life.

It probably sounds really dramatic, I know. Seriously? This girl gains a few pounds and thinks her life is spiraling out of control? How immature!

Well, this journey to improving my physical fitness has been so interesting. What started as a walk along a trail, during one of my most depressed moments of last year, has turned into a lifestyle change. I’ve decided that this will be my last blog about my running progress- at least for now.

Things have changed for me. Flowers have began to bloom on the branches that lost their leaves, and so much has happened since the leaves fell. Just like the trees, I lost leaves, some that I never expected to see go. The seasons changed, the weather brought fierce storms, and my Continue reading →

Maybe I won’t be getting that shirt after all. Sigh. You know, I was so proud of myself– I am still very proud of myself for the fact that I didn’t allow the cold weather to stop me from running outside. Even when the temperatures dropped below 30 degrees, I made an effort to go outside and run. But my progress was slowed significantly and I felt a lot of pain. Finally, the temperatures recently dropped to crazy lows and my morning runs haven’t even been an option.

I’ve been feeling frustrated because I was doing so good, but I’m trying not to let frustration get the best of me. If I plan it right, I can rearrange my schedule so that I can spend some time using the treadmill at my university on the days that I intern- which were my run days.

It’s been so long since I’ve written about running because it’s been so long since I’ve gone for a run! Until today. I’m finally back at it and I’m more motivated than ever to get my body stronger and able to run longer. Interestingly enough, what motivates me the most to work out are my depressing morning emotions. The stronger the negative feelings, the stronger my urge to run it off.

Wow, I can’t believe I’m writing this… but I am on my last 4 runs for the 5K program. It’s actually been longer than 8 weeks because of life updates, fatigue, and a hurricane. Usually, I run outside on a trail that has a slight incline, but I have done my last 3 runs on a treadmill and wow I’m addicted. I could run on the treadmill (with no incline) for 30 minutes- easily. With the weather switching up (nature in NC decided to just go ahead and switch to winter lol fall was skipped), it wouldn’t be the worst thing for me to rotate. However, for the sake of increasing the strength of my legs, I won’t run on the treadmill too often. Also, I like running outside because it distracts me from the burning sensation in my legs.

I have finally been keeping up with my 4x per week cardio goals too. I haven’t really noticed any weight loss, which was my next goal, but I have noticed that bloating and allergies are pretty much gone since I’ve increased my frequency and length of my cardio sessions. I’m going to try to add cinnamon, tumeric, and ginger to more of my foods and beverages and see if it helps any. I’m so proud and excited though!

This morning I ran. Usually, when it’s time for me to walk- I hear a little “ding” and a voice telling me to stop. Well, I was so proud to have gone the distance that I went without hearing the ding. I thought, “dang I’m going fast! I’m on a roll!!”. I was only supposed to run for 10 minutes at a time, so when I started to feel tired and had gone so far, I checked my phone and realized that I mistakenly left it on silent and I had been running for 16 minutes. I almost can’t believe it. When I started this, I was hardly able to go 5 minutes without running out of breath. Now, I’m going 16. I’ve learned that my current optimal distance-running pace is 12-13 minutes per mile. When I go this slow, I can keep going for long periods of time without running out of breath or energy too fast. I’m thinking of changing my route to one that is longer and has a more challenging terrain, mainly because I feel that my current route is too short.

As a side note, my weight has dropped, finally. I’ve decided to take my weight 10lbs at a time because I’m not just concerned with losing weight, but losing it permanently. Having a better understanding of what my diet and physical activity needs to look like (as I go down every 10lbs) will help me to know what I need to keep doing, once I reach my goal weight. Currently, I’m only 20-25lbs from where I want to be. Actually, I’ve been 20-25lbs away since I lost the weight two years ago. These last pounds just don’t want to go! I know that there’s a lifestyle change that needs to happen, based on the fact that I haven’t been able to lose the pounds- but I also haven’t gained any.