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We Catholics celebrate Trinity Sunday today and it is Fathers Day. The trinity is the concept that God is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It has a parallel in pagan worship in the Mother, Maiden, and Crone. Avoiding gender we could say Creator, Being, and Wisdom. In this world where people want everything to be diametrically opposed: red or blue state, black or white race, good or bad decision, boy or girl baby – I think having our concept of deity challenged to think beyond simple binary is a very good idea. I didn’t have an understanding of God when I was challenged with my own black and white thinking back in 1995. I became clear to me at 40 that I was a woman, it was my identity and there was no way to avoid facing that any longer. But I had two other identities and they were very strongly entrenched at that time. I had been a husband for 18 years and a father for 13. I slipped in to a deep depression trying to understand how in this world I could be a woman, a father and a husband. A single mother friend opened the door to an answer when she said “I have to be a dad to my son sometimes as well as being a mom so I don’t see why a woman can’t be a dad” So with her pragmatic approach to a common problem we as a family just started to work on it. We found a therapist who could see the love we had for each other beyond ‘normal’ family roles. She showed us how actually it was important for me to be a good spouse and parent to the people I love. Being honest with them and being a whole person to them was the most basic of a truly deep and loving relationship regardless of gender. Ultimately it was their unconditional love for me that made it possible for us to live as an authentic (if a bit unconventional) family.So while I am a sister to my brothers, a daughter to my mother, a wife to my wife, and a woman to my church, community, work and world I am (at times) still a father to my daughter. It doesn’t challenge my identity as a woman because I am proud of my role in creating the wonder that is my daughter. Proud that she is strong enough in her own identity to wish me a Happy Father’s Day.