Podcast #464: What’s Causing the Sex Recession?

Studies show that people, especially young people, are having less sex than past generations did. While many may celebrate this decline as a good thing, the reasons behind the drop in sex may not all be so positive. A decline in physical intimacy may potentially speak to a decline in emotional intimacy, and a struggle modern folks are having with connecting with each other.

My guest explores the decline in sexual frequency as a way into these larger cultural and relational questions in her longform cover story for this month’s TheAtlantic magazine. Her name is Kate Julian, and today we discuss her piece, entitled “The Sex Recession,” on why people are counterintuitively having less sex in a time when sex is less taboo and more accessible than ever before. We begin our conversation highlighting the statistics that indicate young Americans are having less sex and whether this decline holds true for other countries and affects married people as well as singles. Kate then delves into the idea that the reasons for why young people are having less sex may suggest deeper issues in how people are relating, or not relating, to each other. These reasons include the way dating apps are shaping in-person interactions, the prevalence of porn, and an increase in anxiety and depression. We end our conversation by raising the question of why people continue to perpetuate relational patterns that don’t seem to be making them happy.

This is a fascinating discussion. I know some of you listen to the podcast with your kids. Due to the mature nature of this show, I’d have them skip this one.

Show Highlights

What are the data points that show young people are having less sex?

Is this a worldwide decline? Or a uniquely American problem?

Japan’s “herbivore men”

Why this sex decline could indicate something more nefarious going on below the surface

Why people are putting off romantic relationships, and prioritizing their education and career

The true effectiveness of dating apps (and how much time is spent/wasted on them)

Why meeting people at bars or other social venues isn’t as acceptable as it once was

What smartphones are doing to our casual relationships

How dating in the digital world has become gamified

The effects of porn and masturbation on people’s relationships

How young people are learning about sex these days, and how it subsequently affects their sexual relationships