1. No hitting people in the head.
2. No "real" pitching. The pitcher's job is to roll the ball over the plate.
3. At the plate, four foul balls and you're out. It's OK to swing and miss and
it's OK to not swing at all. There are no "balls" or "strikes".
4. No stealing. If you lead off, you gotta tag up if the ball is caught.
5. NO CRYING.
6. The Umpires are the law.
7. Games are 5 innings long.
8. Bribery is encouraged. Open corruption is the only fairness Providence
has ever known.

And Similarly...

Please clean up after yourselves, treat the field and surrounding neighborhood
with respect, eat plenty of delicious tacos, and generally try not to piss
anyone off (especially the police.) We should all try to keep things friendly
no matter how broken this brutal game of Kickball may leave your life.