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​In my experience, the most difficult thing in prayer is not when God says something I’ve desired is not in His will, but when I am praying on something, and not hearing Him say anything. At least when we receive a no, we can take it in and refocus our eyes on what it is that God truly desires for us. When we are sitting with no response, it is hard to not feel discouraged and frustrated.

I’ve been on a number of retreats these past few weeks, one for each the past three weekends to be exact. Each time I went in with the same intention. I wanted to know God’s desire in my life, what work He wants me to be doing. The first retreat was great; I received such affirmation in what I have been doing. I received a lot of healing in a relationship that had been strained. But I didn’t receive what I was looking for. The second retreat, I was met with the call to live out my masculinity, and have felt a deep calling to live out that masculine nature, being a source of strength and guidance in the faith, but it still wasn’t what I had been what I was looking for. And finally, for this last retreat, I was able to find freedom in expressing myself in worship, and I felt a strong call to what I had been praying about unceasingly for a while.

Now God finally laid something on my heart after what in retrospect wasn’t all that long a timeframe, and for others it may take longer. But what I have learned from this is how God, even in remaining silent on this, still was walking with me and revealing things to me the whole time. As I look back on each thing that was revealed to me, I can understand why God took His time. First He had to heal my heart from a strained brotherhood, so that I wouldn’t be swayed to do something in order to try force change through radical action. Then He revealed beauty around me and my call to live out my vocation as the man He made me to be. And after those were laid out before me, He was able to show me His will so that I might be able to have peace with it.​Wherever you may be in your own struggle with this silence from God, continue to trust in Him. He is constantly revealing things to you in preparation to answer that big question on your heart.

“I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race”-2 Timothy 4:7

​Lent is hard. It is easy to fall into the mindset of just complaining about having to fast. But why are we fasting?

The Church didn’t decide that we all need to lose some weight as we head into Spring. We fast to join with Christ in preparation for the triduum. We are all called to fight the good fight, to finish the race. But how do we do that?

As said before, it is easy to fall into the temptation of complaining about Lent, and that temptation comes from the devil’s desire to pull us away from holiness. How should we fight the devil tempting us? Well look around you. These are your brothers and sisters in arms. We are told that where 2 or more are gathered, so too will God be there. When you are struggling, turn to those around you for that support and affirmation. They can lift you back up when you are weak.

There is nothing the devil hates more than to see you pray. And if you are praying for, and with, your brothers and sisters then the devil can hold no power over you.

Now fighting the good fight is only half of what we are addressing here. We can certainly start out strong in a fight, get in a few good punches, but what happens when we start to get tired? Are we just going to drop out and surrender? There are many things in living out the faith that are not easy, that will tire you, and make you want to surrender, but keep in mind the end of the race. When a runner is competing in a race, they don’t just stop halfway through because their muscles are sore. They push through the pain, because they know at the end of that race is something they desire. Whether an Olympian competing for gold, or someone who has been training to complete their first marathon, the end of the race holds a big accomplishment. And there is no greater race to run than that of our journey to heaven. So turn to your friends around you when your muscles burn, think of the glory at the end, fight the good fight, and complete the race.

Lent is just around the corner, and it is time to start thinking about what we are each going to be doing for it. Here are some ideas of what you can do for Lent this year!

1. No CaffeineBefore I moved to the Pacific Northwest I had only had 3 cups of coffee in my entire life. Since moving here I have drastically increased my intake of coffee. Even when I went home for Christmas, I still was weirding out my parents when I told them that I was going out to meet a friend for coffee.Now coffee can be great. It serves as a nice thing to use for socializing, and it certainly can help a missionary wake up the next morning after a long day on retreat. But in Lent we can offer up that sacrifice and use it to grow. And we can use it to give back to our community as well by taking all that money that you would have spent on coffee, and donating it.

2. Fast – Every day is Ash WednesdayNow before you all freak out and say I’m crazy for suggesting this, just remember, I’m trying to help you become a saint. St. Catherine of Siena lived off of only the Eucharist for the last few years of her life. She desired to receive nothing but Christ into her. I’m simply suggesting the possibility of keeping yourself from snacking, and limiting yourself to one large meal per day (though if you feel inspired by Catherine, then I certainly won’t stop you).I really didn’t understand why we should fast for a good number of years, but then I realized how it truly can help with our faith. In fasting we are able to connect more directly with what Christ experienced. Any suffering of hunger can serve as a catalyst for our prayer, to give thanks for Christ’s gift of self to us.

3. No Meat – Every day is FridayThis is one that I have done in the past. After hearing a friend’s experience in it, I chose to give up all meat for Lent, and on Fridays I would eat only bread, and drink only water. This was my senior year of high school, and I wanted to do something that would be a real sacrifice for me. It wasn’t easy; especially when the rest of your family decides they want to have some juicy steaks for dinner, and you have to avoid them. The real graces that came from this were those conversations though. When you go out with friends and have to ask for a what meals don’t have meat, or even among the Catholic community just explaining what it is that you gave up for Lent. If you want to grow in your chance to evangelize to those around you, then I would highly recommend this.

4. Adding Time to Daily PrayerLent is often thought of as the time when Catholics will give something up, but it can also be a time to add things to grow in holiness. Something simple that we can do is add time to daily prayer. As a missionary, I have mass daily and a daily holy hour, but I certainly don’t have to limit myself to just that. If your prayer life currently consists of an hour a day, think about adding an extra 30 minutes. On the surface that may sound difficult, but really look at your days, and think about how much time we all spend on social media, or watching shows on Netflix. There is plenty of time in our days that we spend doing useless things, and just think how much stronger our relationships with Christ would be if we spent that time adding to our prayer.

5. Cold ShowersOof! This one makes me cringe a little. I always start getting worried when the water is becoming lukewarm after awhile in the shower.Cold showers sound terrible to the vast majority of us, but perhaps that is something that will help us to grow in holiness through sacrifice. As much as they may be unpleasant, a cold shower is sure to wake you up quickly. Instead of taking our time drudging around in the morning to get ready, we can start our morning off with a cold shower to kick start our day, and then take that time that we would still be getting ready to head off to daily mass in the morning, or even just spend some time doing a decade of the rosary before leaving for work or school. So as uncomfortable as cold showers may be, we can certainly use them to grow in our faith.

6. Silence – No RadioThis is what I will be doing for Lent this year. We spend so much time in trying to fill the silence, when we should truly be embracing it. How are we meant to hear God speak to us when we are blasting music in the car, or choose to go to fall asleep with a video or music playing. Trust me, I’m not saying it is bad to be joyful and go crazy with music in the car, or to have some time relaxing with some Netflix, but if we take that time to sit in silence and prayer, then we will develop a far stronger prayer life. When in the car I will choose to have the radio off for Lent. When I am driving alone, this time can be used for prayer, and when I am driving with other people, I will be able to grow in fellowship with them.

7. VolunteerIs this a ploy to get more people to come help out with the youth programs? No, but if you aren’t sure where you can offer your time to volunteer, the missionaries certainly wouldn’t be opposed to having you come help out. Seriously though, if you want to do something great for Lent, consider adding time for volunteering. Giving back to the community and those in need is something that we as Christians are all called to do. Not to mention, I have always found myself so much more joyful after serving others, so it is a win win situation.

8. Random Acts of Kindness Each DayEvery day we are presented with many opportunities to perform an act of kindness for those around us. During Lent you may choose to search for those opportunities throughout your day, and act upon them. You can set a goal for how many people you wish to serve throughout the day, and let the Holy Spirit guide you in how to serve them. This is something great for those who struggle to be bold in their faith on a day to day basis. It serves to help build up that confidence to share your faith through how you live your life every day.

​God has a plan for each of our lives, but He has also given us all the free will to choose the path we follow. Now sometimes His plan seems to just line up perfectly. You could fall in love with someone, discern the relationship, and get married. And those times are great, because when you feel in sync with God, nothing seems to be able to stop you. However, not every case flows so smoothly. Sometimes we hear God’s call to something radically different than what we had planned for our own lives, and that is where trust comes into play.

To give an example of this, I’ll use my own journey. When I first went off to college at the University of Florida (Go Gators), I started off studying Chemistry, on a pre-pharmacy track. In high school I had always enjoyed my advanced science and math courses, and figured that must be what I’m supposed to do. Turns out I hated it. The more I studied it, the less I wanted to do it. I simply felt obligated to because that is what I knew, and anything less just felt like I wouldn’t be living up to my potential.

I took this turmoil into prayer, and was met with even more of a call away from it. I didn’t understand; God had gifted me with a mind that grasped complex math and science with relative ease, but I kept hearing Him say that isn’t where He wanted me. With much reluctance, I began trying to discern where else He could be calling me, and started exploring in school and in work.

In my discernment, I discovered a love for speaking and writing. Mind you, I still took a job teaching math, but I knew that God wanted me to use these gifts for something. I started taking up leadership roles in campus ministry, and giving talks regularly. I looked forward to going out onto campus to go evangelize in the breezeway. I was excited when I got to talk to people, and even more so when it was about the faith. Looking back now, all of this makes sense as to how I’m called to serve as a missionary, but at the time I viewed it as just a fun thing to do.

This leads me to my main point. Evaluate what it is in your life that gives you joy. Stop reading this for a minute and just reflect upon the things you enjoy and are most free in doing. Got that in mind? Now evaluate what you are doing regularly in your life. If the two coincide with each other, then right there you are on track with God’s will! If not, think about why that’s the case. I know when I gave up my comfortable job teaching math to become a missionary I struggled a good bit. I was going from making a nice living, to trusting all my financial needs in God’s graces. More than halfway through my first year, I can now say that every obstacle that has been placed before me has simply been removed by God. He’ll use the generosity of others to help me through.

Trusting in God’s will is not easy. Sometimes we’ll go through loss of a loved one, or have to deal with an illness or injury that is out of our control. Sometimes he’ll call us to move across the country to serve in ministry. And sometimes His call is what we are already following. All of these cases though rely upon our trust that He desires for us what is best, and that we embrace His plan with joyful hearts.

“Those who know your name trust in you; you never forsake those who seek you, Lord.”Psalm 9:11

Whether an introvert or an extrovert, most of us hate sitting in silence. We’ll go out looking for others to talk with, or blast the radio when driving in the car alone. We just don’t want it to seem as if we are alone.

Now as an extrovert, who will walk outside to find someone to go talk to when I get bored, I am just as guilty of this. But it is really when I take this mentality into prayer that I hurt myself the most. There have been countless times I’ve gone into the church for a holy hour, only to spend the entire hour talking at God, as opposed to talking with God. Prayer is meant to be a conversation with God, not a monologue.

Now I know what you are saying, “It’s not like God will talk right back to me.” And you know what, you’re right, for the vast majority of us, we won’t hear God audibly speak while on earth. Perhaps you may be one of the future saints who will hear Him audibly speak, and to that I just want to ask if you could ask Him a few things for me, because I would love to get some clear answers.

So if God isn’t going to audibly speak to me, why should I sit in silence for a response in prayer? Well, while we may not hear that audible voice, He can still speak to us. In my own life, there was an occasion I was sitting down waiting for the Eucharist to process in at a FOCUS conference. I was feeling incredibly anxious, and I didn’t understand why. I decided to silence my heart to just prepare myself for Jesus, and as soon He processed in, I felt an overwhelming call to missionary life. It had been on my mind, but never in a way that I thought I should apply and then move across the country for a year, giving up my comfortable job. But I knew in that moment that God had something amazing planned for me with missionary work, and in trusting Him, I am now 3000 miles away from home, ministering to people every time I step outside.

Now that is my experience with silence, but not everyone will be struck with a sudden realization. Maybe you are already serving where God wants you, maybe you’re already following His plan for your life. In those cases you may just be given a gentle feeling of peace in the silence. When presented with a few options for a step in your life, bring the to God. Let Him reveal where He wants you through the peace He gives you with each option.

Now, we are still about a month away from the beginning of our Lenten season, but I wanted to get a head start on figuring out what it is that I should be sacrificing for Lent. I feel that to grow in holiness I can sacrifice my radio for Lent. Instead of blasting music in the car while driving, I can sit in the silence, take the time to pray, and to listen to God speak to me. So I want to challenge you to join me, and spend more time in the silence, so that you can hear God’s will in your own life.

​We've been back in the swing of things for a few months now, and as Thanksgiving approaches we wanted to take this time to share what we are thankful for!

For starters, we are thankful for all of the youth, young adults, and families that we get to serve every day. It is truly a blessing to be surrounded by such a warm and welcoming community that is devoted towards growing closer to God each day. When most people outside of the Star community think of youth ministry, they see it as the first real introduction and encounter for teens. Here at Star, we have come to find how deep the knowledge of the faith and love for God is in the youth at Star of the Sea. It is incredible being given the opportunity to delve so much deeper, and have the ability to learn ourselves from those we are mentoring.

Now we wouldn't run the ministries we have without the generous servant hearts of our core teams. All the work they do, helping us plan events, leading small groups, giving talks at programs, and too many other tasks to begin to list, is what truly makes our programs great. These individuals give their time every week to help us serve the community, and each one of them brings their own unique gifts to the table, without which, the ministries would not be the same. So to all of our amazing volunteers, thank you.

And finally, we are thankful for being given this opportunity to serve the community. All those who have made it possible, and continue to make it possible, for us to serve as missionaries have blessed us with this wonderful opportunity. We could never have imagined all the graces that God has been able to pour out on us through serving as missionaries here at Star.

This Thanksgiving, we will be keeping you in prayer, and we hope that you are all able to celebrate this time with loving friends and family.

The time is H E R E to begin all of our Youth Programs again--& your missionary friends are ready to let the fun begin! Ignite, Sparks, Teen Confirmation, Fidelis & Fraternus, will be kicking-off in just a short couple weeks. We are excited to finally be able to meet all of you & see what the Lord has in-store for each of us as we journey through this year together. This year, Tess Magin will be leading our High School youth group, Ignite. Bridgette Rueff will be leading our ladies' group, Fidelis & our Middle School youth group, Sparks, again. Gabby Herndon will be leading Teen Confirmation this year. THANK YOU to all who have welcomed us so warmly these past couple months as we have been transitioning into this coming year. All three of us are feeling settled-in & confident in what the Lord is calling each of us to do. We cannot wait to meet you all & dive even deeper into our Catholic faith!

2014-2015's Missionary Internship is coming to a close! We can't believe it's already been a whole year! There's just one more week to wrap up programs, a couple closing retreats and then we'll be saying goodbye to Our Lady Star of the Sea. Malcolm will be the first leave, but then the rest of us will shortly follow. Malcolm flies to Massachusetts on June 4th to visit with his family before heading over to Columbus, Ohio to continue with his education. Jacque will head down to her hometown is Salem, Oregon where she'll start school. David will be moving back into Seattle where he'll also go back to school. Josh and Bridgette will be heading back to Southern California. Josh will continue his education and Bridgette will take a short vacation before coming back for another year with Our Lady Star of the Sea! Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare to make our transitions!

Praise be Jesus Christ!This week we are all getting back into the swing of things in the office. We are super excited to be planning several big events for the youth coming soon and are feeling more and more inspired as we begin to see real change in our youth, giving us a necessary boost in our daily lives. Fraternus is now collectively preparing for their spring excursion, as Josh is cementing his role as commander. More and more youth are becoming involved with our various programs. Bridgette is incredibly happy to begin her planning promotion for the junior high rally, themed Know Mercy, and her 8th grade retreat. Jacque and David are finishing their preparations for confirmation, with their incredible retreat starting tomorrow. Malcolm is especially pleased about how Ignite Youth Group is progressing, and is hopeful for the future. David is stoked for several young adult events, which promise to be a blast. As we progress deeper in Ordinary Time and our preparations for Lent, things begin to flow more smoothly, in the office and around town.Please pray for us and our youth!Many Blessings!-The Missionaries of Our Lady Star of the Sea