i just need help

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i have been waiting for a chat on the suicide prevention website for over an hour. i feel so worthless. so helpless. i am consumed by sadness and darkness. my grades are dropping. I'm making my parents' lives miserable. my dad has given up on me. all i am is a burden to them. everyone i know thinks im annoying. the only reason i haven't taken all my pills is because i'm scared of hurting my best friend but it's not like she can't get another friend, right? i just can't think of any reason to keep living that my brain won't immediately excuse.

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I'm so sorry for your pain, idk. We are here and listening. I hope you are able to get through to the hotline and the person you speak with is supportive. Is there also someone there with you who you can reach out to? Depression can make thoughts so dark that it seems things can't get better, but there is always the possibility as long as you choose to stay alive. I hope you stay safe.

Care to you, idktheothers.

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Like Irma said, these feelings can pass. It's very likely in the future that you'll look back on that moment and be glad you didn't end your life. Things can get so so much better for you. I guarantee not everyone thinks you're annoying. Your parents would be devastated and inevitably blame themselves, and you have a friend who cares for you too. You're not as easily replaceable as you might think, the pain of your death is something they would carry with them for a long time, possibly forever. But more than that, you will be selling yourself short on a full life and a chance at happiness. Trust me in that your perspective changes a lot as you get older. I would have resented that kind of statement when I was younger, but it's true. You will see that things you worried about now weren't the great things you made them out to be (I hope that doesn't sound like I'm belittling your problems, I just mean to say that perspectives change; especially from adolescence to adulthood) and things can get drastically better for you as you get older. School can be rough and young folks can be cruel. Fortunately, most people grow out of this and I think you could have a chance at a truly great life. As far as we know, it's the only life you've got and things can almost always get better and be worth living for.
Depression can warp everything into a pit of pointless despair though and if it's this that you're suffering from then I highly recommend seeking professional help in the form of a therapist or something. It's surprising what even just talk therapy and cbt can do for people, and (while I know people groan when I bring this up) eating well and exercising genuinely changes your mood and views on things. If you can get a gym membership (or do fitness blenders for free on youtube) and start doing that, it's surprising how good you will start to feel after you begin doing it every day. It's like stepping into the mind of a different person. It just takes that initial push to get yourself to do it. I find counting down from 5 in my head and moving on 1 works well. 5 4 3 2 1--> and I'm up and going to the gym.
Anyway, hope this helps you or someone else reading this.
All the best.