Labour to trust in good sense and judgement of teenagers

PEOPLE who Snapchat their genitals to each other while watching Hollyoaks should be allowed to vote, according to Labour.

Feels strongly about his right to party

The party’s plan to lower the voting age to 16 would give thousands of teenagers who think of Britney Spears as a village elder the chance to choose who runs the country.

A Labour Party spokesman said: “We are keen to get voters who don’t remember what Britain was like under a Blair or Brown administration on the electoral roll so they can vote for us, the cool party.

“If you’ve already chosen your favourite imaginary gay relationship between One Direction members – mine’s Niall and Zayn, by the way – then picking a prime minister is a breeze.”

16-year-old Stephen Malley said: “Labour can count on my vote if it doesn’t shirk from the big issues, like whether I should be allowed to go to Ibiza with just my mates.

“Also I want Ed Miliband to stop my mum blaming me for borrowing her car without permission then writing it off.

“It wasn’t my fault, everyone knows Fiestas tip over easily.”

Pollster Tom Logan said: “We tried making the whole thing a bit more X-Factor last time with the TV debates. But girls always end up sympathy-voting for the sad eyed hopeless underdog which explains Nick Clegg.”