Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

This is actually pretty cool. I love hearing about new species of animals, especially sea life. Anyone who's watched the Blue Planet series' "The Deep" episode knows how wondrous and intriguing all of it is -- yes, even including finding a previously unknown squid. (Although what would be the best is to be able to find and study an 80-foot Giant Squid in its natural environment. Haven't seen one yet.)

Of course, squids are actually really cool animals. If you've ever watched how they communicate with one another through their chromatophores in an almost psychedelic display, you know what I'm talking about. I hate handling dead squid and I don't like calamari, but live squids are actually pretty neat animals.

Waxwing, thanks and here goes (keep in mind this is after a few mimosas and more than one bloody mary)

Little Red Squidette

I guess I should have known by the way you sprayed your ink sideways
That you were too deep
See you’re the kind of genus that belives in hiding out, you
Swam away from me
I guess I must be dumb cause you had a pocket full of plankton
Spinning and oh so sweet
But it was the Atlantic ridge, I should have zagged but I zigged
I said fry some calamari

I guess I should have closed my eyes when the anglerfish dangled his bulb before me
That’s when he netted me
But all then I saw the strange new plankton with those four cle-arly de-fined rings
I wondered if I dove too deep
But we were thermal invertin’ my love was just hurtin
And U said collect me for keeps

A body like your ought to be in a tank
Cause it’s on the verge of being unique
Move over baby, climb in my jar
I’m gonna try to take you little red ink machine!

Oh you’ve got tentacles like I’ve never seen, ow!
And the suckers so smooth
You must be the one for me..baby!

Ow!
Baby you’re much too deep
Little Red Squidette
U’re a specimen ..that’s got to laaast
Little Red Squidette
Cuz if you don’t, cuz if you don’t
I’m gonna run you right in to the deep
Right into the deep
Right into the deep