Apparently this was out in August last year. I must say I completely missed it, I expect on its first showing (or possibly even before) it would have received 21 complaints from discerning members of an old people home in Scunthorpe. And despite the 809,000 ‘likes’ through various video channels and websites, that should serve as sufficient percentage to get it taken off the air before a 5 year old child is exposed to it and ends up carving his face into removable cubes.

There are many aspects to this clip I just don’t understand. Like, where did the Mexican dancers come from? Who brought the flood light? and why are they in a disabled bay? Oh no, I see… there’s a zimmer frame on the far left. Now it all makes perfect sense.

Japander:n.,& v.t. 1. a western star who uses his or her fame to make large sums of money in a short time by advertising products in Japan that they would probably never use. ~er (see synecure, prostitute)

2. to make an ass of oneself in Japanese media.

Thanks to the acting talent of Mr. Nicholas Cage, I have recently been introduced to…