The musings and ramblings of an often-frustrated and somewhat controversial Aspie

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Experiences

Life is really all about experiences.

We can attest to this statement, we agree that life is about experiences because that is why we want to do things that make us happy. This is common knowledge. But what I mean when I talk about experiences is that not only do I think that experiences should be a motivator in life, but that they should be our only motivator.

We like to earn money so that we can buy things we think will improve our ongoing experiences in life. We try to spend time with people who will add positively to our experience, and avoid those who contribute negatively. We also do things that we would rather not experience, e.g. work, so that our overall experience will improve in the long run. Life is simply ongoing experience, and all we can do is try to improve this experience for us, and if we want to live in a world where others help improve our experience, we try to improve the experience of others.

Is there something you can think of, that is not beneficial to your ongoing experience of life now, in the future, or for other people? If so, why are you doing it?

Sometimes we forget that we are born, experience things in life as conscious beings, and then die. We are too consumed by the idea that life is a list of tasks that must be completed within certain timeframes. If that task in life is of no benefit to you, people around you or your society, why are you doing it?

In my life, I would like to be able to look back and think that in my long experience of life, I recall mostly good and happy times, with people who make me happy, and that the times when I had to work hard and went through bad experiences were all to better me experience in life overall. The idea that I might look back and think that there were some harsh experiences in life that I've been through with no benefit to me or anyone else, scares me. I would rather have the less successful job with a happy, loving family than be a financially successful single man who is constantly dissatisfied and never content.

The ratio of good times to bad in one's life should be as high as possible, and if there are bad times at all then they should be for the eventual gain of positive experiences. Even going through tough experiences for the benefit of someone else could be evaluated on the grounds that if that person is a loved one and your tribulations are directly beneficial to them, then that in turn becomes a good experience for you, because it was worthwhile and made you feel good at the end of it.

Accepting constant abuse from your boss at work does nothing to achieve optimum satisfaction in life, even if you figure that by taking all the abuse without retort, you avoid the possible ramifications for yourself if you did complain. However, look at the years of negative experience you have to come, and think of looking back on all those times you simply smiled and nodded as you were demeaned and subjected to verbal abuse. Was it worth it? Were you really happier because of your decision not to defend yourself? It soon becomes clear, that by standing up for yourself, even if times become immediately hard through angering your boss or even losing your job, you will undoubtedly feel better in the long run. Maybe you find a new job where you are not subjected to abuse, or maybe you change career paths completely, or maybe you fail to immediately find work and have some bad experiences before good comes of it, but the point is that you can look back and feel good about the decision you made. The more you willingly accept abuse in your life, the more often you will see abuse coming your way. Be a person who stands their ground on moral issues and instances of bullying, as you will eventually be better for it.

Would you rather be the charity worker in harsh conditions, knowing each day as you wake up that you are positively effecting the lives of other humans in need and go through each day with contentment and great satisfaction in the life that you lead, or the banker who accepts a large bonus knowing that people lower down in his company have lost jobs directly because of bad decisions he's made, and that ordinary people are going to be worse-off because of things he has done? You could accept the bonus and enjoy the reward, but out of the two lives, which would you rather look back on and feel proud of? Which can you say was most fulfilling? Which is a closer representation of the sort of person you wish to be remembered as after your death? Which life would make you happier looking back on as you leave this world? Yes, riches are good, but in the context of life and it's experiences as a whole, isn't the aim of life to be happy and satisfied with the one you're living?

We all want to be loved, to be appreciated, and to be able to be content and satisfied with the lives we lead. Yet which sort of a life shows a clearer path to this goal, a life spent chasing small pleasures in the hope that they add up to long-term satisfaction, or a life spent seeking experiences that are worth the effort you give them?

I love having money and I love small pleasures, but the money means nothing if the goal is simply to have lots of it, and the lavish and the luxury are only worth their price-tag if you are on the road to contentment.

Stand up to that bully, that bad friend, that mean boss, because shying away from confrontations and letting people see a person different from the real you, does nothing to better your life or those you love. Those have been bullied and stood up for themselves, no matter what their circumstances, will be better people for it. Those who were bullies and were stood up to, are better people because of those who stood up to them. Don't keep quiet to continue fake friendships out of ease, don't lie to your parents because it's easy. Seek the good experiences in life through good and righteous means, and only more good things can come of it. What appears as the easy route is often just the hard route in disguise, as we are lazy by result of our human psyche.

Life is simple if you want it to be. It starts with being genuine. You probably already think you're a genuine person, but if you've told even the whitest of lies recently, you're not. I'm not perfect, but I try.

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This is me.

I am Dominic West, 19 years old, diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and Depression, with a tendency to become over-anxious and pedantic in a way that manifests itself as a form of arrogant neuroticism. Apparently.