Still, in most corners of the US, we define wealth by how much people spend. It's easy to do. We typically can't see our friends' bank accounts or retirement accounts. But we can see the jewelry they wear or the vacations they take.

When asked how they define wealth, almost half of Americans used measures of spending - on both experiences and things - to answer the question, according to the Schwab Modern Wealth Survey. Only 27% said 'having a lot of money' makes someone wealthy.

Yet, the same survey found that to be viewed as wealthy, you need to have a net worth of at least $2.4 million. In the US, fewer than 1% of the population - 1.84 million people according to the most recent IRS data - have a net worth that exceeds $2 million. But chances are you've seen far more than 1% of your social circle spend on expensive things. I know I have.

The pressure to spend in New York City is particularly egregious. Small talk here often begins with: 'Where do you live?' or 'What do you do?' Both are questions that seem to get at another question: 'How much money do you have?'

Whether or not someone else is wealthy - or financially independent - doesn't matter. But it starts to matter if it impacts how you think about your own financial situation, or if other people's spending habits begin to influence your own choices. If I had a dollar for every time I met someone who buys nice things - yet doesn't max out their retirement accounts - I'd probably have enough for a trip to St Bart's.

At the end of the day, anyone has the capacity to build up a sizeable net worth. You don't have to earn a ton of money (though it does help). It boils down to one simple - and not very flashy - truth: