A Trip Down Memory Lane

I believe most of us have done something childishly embarrassing in our life time. After much time has passed, and we've grown a little wiser, we find we can finally chuckle about.

I would really like to know what you feel was the most embarrassing thing you ever did.

I'll go first. I feel I should receive an Award for being The Biggest Dumb-Dumb in the World! BEWARE, because it really may disgust you.

When I was a senior in high school, I went to apply for a part-time job. When I finished filling out the application, I was sent to the company's doctor for a drug test.

The doctor gave me a little paper cup and told me to go to the bathroom and fill it with my urine, then bring the cup back to him.

I took the paper cup and headed towards the bathroom. I entered and locked the door. I then sat on the toilet, did my business, stood up, grabbed the little cup and dunked it in the toilet and filled it up with the toilet water. I washed my hands, and then took it back to the doctor. He took the cup and looked surprised. He asked me why the cup felt cold when it should be warm. He looked into the cup, then stared back at me and asked me what exactly I had done. I told him. He shook his head and told me to leave because I had passed the test. In other words, what he tried to tell me was that anyone who would do a stupid thing like that had to be drug free.

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Comments

*L* And if I had been the guy, I'd have sent you back to the bathroom witha nother cup and I would have sent someone with you to watch! That's how addicts try to fool drug tests, by diluting them with water.

That's so funny... okay... the only thing that I have to come close to that was that when I was like 16, I went to a clothing store to buy a swimsuit that my mom had given me money to get. And when I got there, I found a suit that I wanted. And then I proceed to take of my pants right there the checkout counter, UNTIL I realized that I was being like totally out of fucking control... and then I RAN like hell for the dressing room... with my pans around my hips! Yeah... I real Kodak moment for sure...LOL

...and once i was required to 'take' the test while others were trying to do the same. one guy couldn't pee, so i gave him half of mine and he passed. unfortunately he was sent to vietnam...and for moi, i failed. go figure. ciao!

I didn't do anything like that when they sent me for my drug test, but I tried to at least make light of the situation. See, my wife is an RN, so I know what kind of job these people who work in clinics and what-not have, so I try to be as nice and friendly as I can.

Well, this time, I got the Phlebotomist Who Had Heard It All. They send me to this clinic for my test, and knowing that the worst thing they're going to find is the fact that I smoke cigarettes and drink coffee, I'm in decent spirits, despite the fact that I had to get up halfway through my sleep-time (working 3rd shift can be tough on a person) to do this. So, since I show up in the middle of lunch hour, the only person there is the Phlebotomist, which is basically a person who has been trained to draw blood. So, they ask her to take me, and she treats it like they asked her to clean up my feces or something.

So, she hands me the little "do it yourself" pee test packet. I look at her and say, "Wait, this is a urine test?""Yes.""Man...I hope I studied."Nothing. No smile, no giggle, no nothing. I sign the little sticker thing, and she opens the packet and hands me the little cup thingy. I ask her if I can keep the toy prize inside. Still nothing.

So, I whizz in the cup, put the cap on it and take it back. I wash my hands as she transfers my "leavings" into the proper container (which is a big waste of plastic, if you ask me. One to piss in and one to send it to the lab?). Once she has what she needs in the test container, she dumps the rest down the sink. When she does, I look at her all troubled and say, "Man, I was gonna drink that!"Still nothing. She even gave me a "heard it before" look.

I went home dejected. I told my wife about it, and she thought it was funny. I guess some people just don't appreciate my sense of humor.