Windows-Generated Spam At All-Time High of 101%

SANTA CLARA (Rixstep) — McAfee.com of Sunnyvale today published new statistics on the increasingly alarming level of Windows-generated spam (unsoliticed electronic mail) on the Internet.

This figure has previously been cited by representatives of Microsoft as being as high as 97%. McAfee researchers have heretofore been more conservative in their estimates, placing the so-called 'Microsoft Nuisance Level' at a mere 92% - a figure almost palatable for the sensible surfers not using Windows.

But today's report breaks the records again - and those of common sense as well. The new McAfee report places the level of Windows-generated malware laden spam at the literally incredible 101%.

'101%? How can that be? Yes it doesn't make much sense at all', said a representative of McAfee who insisted on remaining anonymous. 'But we've checked and double-checked our figures and that's what it comes to. There's more spam generated by Windows than there is email all told. Incredible but true!'

'Of course this level of Helleresque idiocy is nothing new', said the nameless McAfee employee who once again reminded Rixstep to guard their sources. 'Even 92% - or 97% - is batshit insane. Just as it's batshit insane to run such a system on the Internet and cause this much trouble. Just as it's batshit insane for all those Joe and Josephine Six Pack Lusers to rush out and buy Windows 7 for $319 when it's not one iota more secure than before.'