Dyspeptic retired Marine wife/tech wench attempts to enlighten the great unwashed of the blogosphere while dodging snarky commentary from the local knavery.

August 30, 2008

Will Palin Cost McCain Gay Polar Bear Vote?

Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning a distressing thought floated to the forefront of the Editorial Staff's pea sized brain. Naturlich we promptly sprang from betwixt the marital sheets, positively a-tingle with curiosity. "What would the sachems of political discourse have to say about this historic choice?", we wondered? We were happy to see the lamestream media continuing the thoughtful, impartial and incisive reporting which characterized their coverage of Hillary Clinton:

"Children with Down syndrome require an awful lot of attention. The role of vice president, it seems to me, would take up an awful lot of her time, and it raises the issue of how much time will she have to dedicate to her newborn child?"

But though the press can barely contain their excitement over the historic nature of this pick, they appear mindful of their duty to explore compelling issues like Gov. Palin's child care arrangements while not neglecting the question on everyone's mind today: can a mere woman ever hope to wrap her mind around complex and highly nuanced foreign policy issues?

Fortunately, the media's well known sense of fair play prompted admonishments that it is unsporting to pick on girls, especially ones who are so clearly out of their depth:

TODD: She's going to have an expectations bar that's really low, and, you know, there's going to be questions that are given to her in such a way, that, to see, just on a basic qualification test, how well she knows certain world events. So she's going to have a very low bar to pass..

Imagine our surprise (considering the gravity and thoroughness with which Gov. Palin is being vetted by the media), however, when this morning's news turned up nary a word regarding what may well turn out to be a fatal miscalculation by the McCain campaign. Amidst the grave questions raised by the VP pick (What was McCain thinking when he recklessly and unilaterally selected a running mate without the prior approval of Germany and France? How could he choose a running mate who conspicuously lacks the internecine Capitol Hill connections considered essential in establishing genuine "Washington outsider" bona fides? Is this yet another sign that McCain's POW experiences left him mentally unstable and unfit to lead?) we found ourselves stunned to see the media ignoring the most disturbing aspect of the McCain pick. The choice of Palin represents a stinging slap in the face to a key McCain constituency: gay Ursine-Americans and lovers of Knut, the adorably psychotic baby polar bear. We would have thought that Palin would be more sympathetic to Knut, another compelling public figure who bears many startling similarities to the now-embattled VP pick. Like Palin, Knut has his share of skeletons in the closet:

Berlin Zoo is having to frantically deny reports that Cuddly Knut, its adorable yet controversial polar bear cub, was indirectly responsible for the death of its panda Yan Yan.

Mein Gott im Himmell! one day the arrogant Bu$Hitler will rue his crimes against the Multiverse. Dennis Kucinich has sworn it!

Sadly, the viciously specie-ist and human centric policies of the current occupants of the Oval Office continue unabated. Is there no end to the tortures visited upon our unsuspecting fur-brothers? Of all the horrors in an increasingly irritating world, no one could have imagined a fate so cruel, so exquisitely agonizing that it would reduce the strongest among us to a quivering mass of jelly. We are, of course, speaking of the nightmare of Suri Cruise...

The young ursine has been the target of death threats for his prescient and principled opposition to European Islamofascists. Thus, we found ourselves deeply disturbed to learn that, not content with being a bad mother, animal hater and strident foe of a woman's exclusive right to determine the reproductive destiny of both partners in a sexual relationship, Gov. Palin has come out against same sex marriage rights for polar bears.

In light of this unsettling news, we have no choice but to reconsider our support for John McCain. In a civilized society, some things just will not stand.

Posted by Cassandra at August 30, 2008 10:28 AM

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Comments

Palin's pick is an insult to women!

Do men really think that women are so stupid that they just want a woman in office, rather than a qualified woman in office?

As Mark Steyn so ably said (somebody get that man a job writing speeches for McCain/Palin), how much good does it do us to elect people with so many years of foreign policy "experience" they had time to get not only the War on Terror, but the Cold War, wrong?

Palin didn't spend the last 10-15 years publishing multiple autobiographies. Instead, she was lowering taxes, successfully battling corruption, and declining to abort a handicapped child. What's the experience of Obama or Biden worth to me if they never make a judgment I can support?

I would almost bet that Palin has spent as much time with our troops in Iraq as the Obamessiah.

This isn't about pandering. I'm a woman finally on board the Straight Talk Express because of the balance of the ticket, not because Palin is a woman. I'm thrilled that a woman of such courage can be a leader in high office, don't get me wrong. But it is her conservative principles which are more enticing to me as a voter.

Proof: Ok, I concede that there might be one other real person commenting on this here post, along with several sock puppets, and foreign mob agents!

Uff da, this isn't why I served those many long nights during the Cold War, protected only by the knowledge that perhaps the other side was as untrained as we were. But, our hearts were pure and totally innocent because Phenix City had been shutdown.

It all started following the birth of three polar bear cubs at Nuremberg Zoo to two female bears.
When one of the mothers rejected her two cubs, zoo officials agreed to let nature take its course - as in the wild - and sat back.
The mother killed and ate her offspring because they were too weak to survive.
"We wanted to avoid the repeat of the stupid Knutmania and not rear the animal by hand," says Helmet Magdefrau, the deputy director of Nuremberg Zoo.
It didn't last. A public outcry over the zoo's "bear infanticide" policy was followed by a U-turn, with a keeper being sent in to rescue Flocke from mother Vera, who was hurling her about by the scruff of the neck and looking as if she was about to eat the cub, too.

Palin needs to take her double hockey sticks and slapshot a few media misogynists' heads together. Of course we are speaking of MoDowd and Crowd.

This is a humongous snark for me, having a mentally handicapped child, but yes, they do require attention, but no more than the rest of us thumbsuckers who need the Democratic Party to do our thinking for us...

I wonder if Knut can be trained to talk across the species and find out the truth about Polar Ice. I can just see him now, frantically signing and tapping away...