A Bed Among the Clouds

I let balloons go on purpose giving them the freedom I cannot have, the freedom among the storm clouds that I pine for every night, to be blanketed in sheets of rain drops and tucked in by the fingers of the wind, with the lightning as a night light and a lullaby hummed from the throat of thunder. But, iron trees put down roots in concrete, and, darling, my feet are fixed to the ground. So, I let the balloons go to give them a bed among the clouds.

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This poem is simply breathtaking. The use of imagery is almost tangible. My favorite lines are, “I cannot have the freedom among the storm clouds that I pine for every night/ to be blanketed in sheets of rain drops/and tucked in by the fingers of the wind. The use of figurative language created a visual art.
This poem is simplistic, yet it possesses a certain depth that must be read once more. The tone is almost nostalgic and yet, bittersweet. I felt you intertwined these emotions effort... (more »)

the meanings this poem contains such a deep meaning to me. the feeling of imprisonment runs deep. i also like how well the poem flows. really good. i dont think i would change anything if i could. very good.

This is both very sweet and very sad, which can be a difficult combination to manage. I liked how you started with a relatively simple metaphor (balloons in the sky/freedom) and then developed the rest of the poem from there. My personal favorite lines are “But, iron trees put down // roots in concrete, // and, darling, my feet // are fixed to the ground.” simply because they are so beautifully hopeless. I found it interesting that you seemed to go into some sort of rhyme schem... (more »)

Hey there! WOW! This was truly magnificent and was filled with utter beauty! The title is really eye-catching! I love the repetition of letting go of the balloons in the beginning and in the end, it was a great way to start the poem and end the poem. The metaphor of the balloons having freedom works really well in the poem. The way you worded these lines was what made this poem.. I mean 'blanketed in sheets of rain drops' is absolutely brilliant! You have a way with words, that'... (more »)

You have a very strong idea with this poem and you portray it ellegantly, your imagery is fantastic and the structure of the poem allows it to flow nicely. However The majority of the poem is one sentence, and I understand that it works that way, but I do feel that it should be broken down more.
Still a very good piece :)

Hi! I love everything from 'to be vlanketed' to 'throat of thunder.' They provoke such stunning images and I adore the controlling metaphor. I think since that metaphor is so strong that the rest of the poem should comply. You were halfway committed in it but I feel like it could have even more of a sleepy, desiring liberation vibe if you reexamine the beginning. Very picturesque, marvelous work.

Wow! Why haven't more people read this? This poem is terrific, I am super pleased to say 5/5 stars! You have so much potential in poetry, I would love to see you write a poem about political issues or something global... Anyways, back to this poem! You have a wonderful way of placing an imagine of a bedroom in the sky in my head, and it was entertaining as well. However, I had to read the ending, "but, iron trees...etc," a couple times to try to understand it. I knew there was gonna be a downsid... (more »)