Happy Mother’s Day!

I can count on one hand how many special occasions that were meant for me (birthdays and Mother’s Day ) that I have made it through without tears since I have had kids. It’s my fault, really. My expectations are too high, so it’s very easy to be disappointed. I have these delusions of grandeur that I will have these perfect days where I sleep in late, receive breakfast in bed, and have a fun outing with perfectly behaved children, who get along splendidly. I can’t blame my husband. He typically goes out of his way to get me flowers, cooks for me, cleans, and will take the kids so I can relax. He would let me sleep in if my body allowed me. Unfortunately since having kids, I haven’t been able to sleep past 7 am, unless I’m hungover or ill. Even when hungover, I’m still up at the butt crack of dawn. If I sleep till 9 am, be worried about me. It either means something happened to me or my children. I have sadly lost my ability to sleep.

My first Mother’s Day- May 2009

My kids on special occasions somehow manage to fight as much as humanly possible and typically like to share how I am a terrible mother & have ruined their lives. They are still young, so i can’t wait to see what gems they come up with they are older.

Mother’s Day- 2014

Possibly, I should lower my expectations and not expect these days to be perfect. Children have a hard time seeing beyond themselves and fully recognizing the importance of others, as much as they love them. I know my children’s love for me is unconditional. As much as I lose my temper with them, I see how resilient they are and how my anger doesn’t phase them. Long standing grudges against their parents really do not seem to exist at this age. I know they love me no matter what and I feel the same for them even though they have pushed me close to my breaking point. Professionally, I have seen children who have been brutally abused, neglected and molested by their parents. Despite, these awful situations these children often still express their love for them.

My Birthday 2012

Tomorrow, I will do my best to enjoy the day and appreciate my family. I will try not to expect perfection because it does not exist in families. If someone says otherwise, they are full of it.

Excerpts from last year’s Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommy’s out there! Happy Mother’s Day to my own mom, who taught me that it’s alright to be less than perfect and to love unconditionally. A special shout out to my mother in law as well, who loves me like her own.

My mother and I on a special day

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Published by delusionsofparenthood

Lauren is a licensed doctoral level psychologist, who is trying her best to figure out this thing called parenthood and life in general. She enjoys hanging upside down whenever she can, running and sometimes running from her children.
View all posts by delusionsofparenthood

Great blog as usual. I so enjoy reading them. I too, often set the limits high for holidays only to feel let down because they do not go as I envisioned they would. Thanks for reminding me that life goes on and these are special times that we shouldn’t let pass us by just because they are not like we hoped they would be

You are not alone. I find myself at the end of the day on many holidays in tears or almost. A friend of mine posted that we as mothers really need to stop being so hard on ourselves and remember it’s just a day. The sun is still coming up and the moon will still be in place. I like that.

This is such an accurate post and I relate to it on an almost spiritual level I feel! I’m still a very new Mom, or at least feel like it with only one almost two year old, and both Mother’s Day celebrations I’ve had were actually quite stressful for me. Trying to relax while also expecting everything to run smoothly while I relaxed is a total catch 22 and near impossible. Similar to you, my fiancé worked tirelessly to make them amazing but sometimes my expectations are just too high. Easing up on them helped a lot I think in the afternoon. 🙂 Great post!

These are such hard lessons to learn. You are a quick learner! It’s only taking me 9 years to figure out that it’s stupid of me to expect perfection from little people (or anyone). Thanks for reading and I look forward to checking out your blog as well!!