This is where you will find some of my thoughts on my love of writing and my journey in writing my first book.
Also how I live with not only being bipolar, but also with anxiety/panic disorder or live with chronic illness.
I just wanted to allow you a small glimpse into my world.

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Saturday, December 17, 2016

The Tough Choices

It has been
awhile since I have made a post to my blog. Sorry to say, the day after making
my last blog, I came down with a nasty throat virus, and then the flu decided
to join the party. As anyone with a chronic disease knows, any illness that
weakens you, hits someone with a weakened system a bit harder. It makes
recovery a bitch.

So, I entered the
holiday season not at all in the mood for, or in the spirit of the holidays.
One good thing was my brother; who had been living all the way up in Washington
state, finally made the move to join the rest of the family. He missed
Thanksgiving by two days. Too bad turkey was gone the day after.

The sad news is
he also arrived just in time to witness the further deterioration of our
mother's health. As many of you already know I am the adult caregiver to my
elderly, disabled mother. She has some serious health issues, that up until
recently were a problem, but not enough to keep her from living on her own.
Well this week that has all changed. I have spent the last several days walking
into her apartment each day in dread of what next I will find.

The woman who I
once lived in fear of, is now the mere shadow of her. She is confused, doesn't
recognize night from day. She forgets to eat, to take her medicines. I find her
in stages of undress, lost in a fog, unaware of anything occurring around her. In
a week and a half, she has fallen twice. Her falling alarms me, but what alarms
me more is that where in the past she was quick to ask for assistance. Now she
remains where she fell, not making any attempt to get assistance to rise.

I had to take
her to the hospital, and there she remains as of this writing. Come Monday, we
begin the process of making the hardest decision. Choosing the skilled care
facility to place her in. I know she is going to hate it, and probably me. I
can't think about hurt feelings right now, I must think of the best thing
for my mother. As much as I would love her to stay living independently, that
just isn't a decision I can make. Unfortunately, she needs twenty-four hour
care, with medical personnel that can evaluate her daily.

So at this
moment I have had to make the decision to put my work on my books, and both
blogs on hold until after the New Year. I hope once Mom is settled into her new
home and I am done dispensing with her household belongings. I will then be
able to concentrate once more on finishing my books.

I hope all my
friends, and readers have a very Happy Holiday. And may the New Year bring you
Bright Blessings, Laughter & Love.