let me start by saying that i think multiplayer mode has a time and place. team sport games. the call of duty franchise. these are moments that deserve multiplayer mode. it even deserves trophies.

do obscure games need multiplayer trophy mode? no. nobody ever plays them beyond the first week. i am thinking about playing some naughty bear this week, as a kind of antidote to the assassin’s creed marathon i went on last weekend. i played 12 hours straight on saturday, and then went drinking. that was one day. over the course of that weekend, i think my tally ran to 30 hours.

this week? no video games at all. had to detox.

i was looking at the trophies, and i have to say, the multiplayer trend is starting to get on my nerves. something like assassin’s creed is going to be around a while. no worries there.

naughty bear? not so much. every time i go to play a game, the damn thing has no players. how the hell i am supposed to get the trophies?

i am starting to believe that it is a way for game publishers and developers to ensure that their content isn’t ripped off, but there has to be a better way.

i’m not sure what it is about female gamers that mainstream media is so rabid about. tell anyone in media – a producer, a blogger, a journalist, whatever – that you’re a girl who plays games and you automatically turn into a circus act. ladies! gentlemen! come see the way her delicate little hands with fresh manicure deftly handles the controls! it’s the big top, in your living room!

‘WOW‘, they say, once they establish that you actually aren’t being coy and using this behaviour as a rudimentary flirting device. their voices are laden with the sort of enthusiasm that one normally reserves for brain-damaged children.

*stunned look from media dumbass* ‘that is SO cool,’ they say enthusiastically. ‘i love hearing about girls who get into techie things. female empowerment is *so* special to me. i – ‘

by this point, if i haven’t punched them in the ovaries, i reward myself by pulling out my blackberry and pretending i have a call.

‘i didn’t hear it ring‘, they puzzle.

‘shhh, sweetie, i’m very busy right now‘, says i, sauntering away.

it’s the same thing in the office setting. women are SHOCKED by a girl who games, and frankly i am fed up with it. i have worked with and for some morons in the past, but none more so than the women who can’t believe a woman plays video games. more to the point: they can’t believe *i* play video games. when i let the cat out of the bag, they look me up and down, stunned that contrary to the big fucking stereotype, i’m NOT a whale with no friends stuck for something to fill my time with. i go to parties. occasionally i wear dresses. sometimes i even wear makeup. i wear a lot of shiny things and love to giggle. does playing video games make me less of a girl? fuck no it doesn’t. i’m not doing it to get to a man, nor is it to add another man to my collection. biggest goddamn shocker of all? i’m not doing it because one of my boyfriends does it.

i do it because i like it. ok?

trust me, before i get some left-wing radical hippie feminist bullshit up in here, it’s almost always women with the stunned reaction. young, old, if they don’t play it they are weirded out by this foray into gaming. this is all from personal experience, but guys in real life are awed by a girl who games. they think it’s the coolest fucking thing, and awesome conversations come out of these revelations. what games do i play? what guns do i use? do i use a strategy? girls who game are equally thrilled to find someone else to join their club, some bitch who doesn’t play hannah fucking montana or similar bullshit.

please, people. there is enough war and stress out in the world. find something else to be amazed at, because girl gamers aren’t a party favour. girls game, guys game – let’s get over it.

i don’t know what to think about this new call of duty. on the one hand, the first one was great, don’t get me wrong. it was fast-paced, action-packed… again, a lot of the stuff i liked. it was just treated like the second coming of christ – which i feel confident enough saying ‘was not the case’.

on the other… yawn. i don’t know about any of you, but the last one was like being the star of a wicked action movie. how are they going to top that? besides, this shit is going to vietnam, and cuba, among other places.

it kind of sucks, but i’m caught between two places. on the one side, i love shooter games. on the other… give it a rest already. how many goddamn war games are going to be made?

there has come a time in my life where i am asking myself some serious questions. i have looked back on my past and have been doing some soul-searching. should i? should i take the leap? shit, what if it’s not right? it’s a classic dilemma faced by everyone:

… do i buy the sequel to the last call of duty or not?

i impulse bought the last one, call of duty: modern warfare 2, as i have mentioned previously. it was great. we were young, and we were in love. it felt… right, you know? we started to drift apart. some nights, i wanted to go out. some nights, i wanted to entertain at home. but modern warfare 2 didn’t like that shit.

‘pleaaaaaase come play with me’, it would whine. ‘online is, like, so much fun’.

sometimes i would do just that. it’s hard to resist such a pretty face after a while. but then i maxed out on it. got my fill of it, if you will. it started wanting more from me, demanding time that wasn’t mine to give. eventually, we started arguing over money – like most couples.

modern warfare 2: ‘$15. more maps. how the hell is that not a good idea?’obnoxious gamer: ‘meh. didn’t i pay $70 already? i love you and all, but not sure i want to pay $90 for a ps3 game.’modern warfare 2: ‘oh, so now i’m not worth it?’obnoxious gamer: ‘sure you are. and i have it. i’m looking at the bigger picture here, uhm, you know, for us.’modern warfare 2: ‘more. maps. was i not clear?’obnoxious gamer: ‘yeah. you were. but i’m not gonna be paying for what essentially amounts to NO VALUE.’

and on and on it went. i don’t see much of it anymore. we share the same space still, and we have a history together. plus, we have a lot of friends in common. however, we’ve both pretty much moved on. it eventually started dating other people – and since i never stopped, it was business as usual. anyway, it’s added a new member to its family.

here is the birth announcement from eb games/gamestop/whateverthefuck it’s calling itself these days:

Prepare for the follow-up to the biggest entertainment launch in history: on November 9th Call of Duty: Black Ops will introduce you to the elite world of Black Ops. The award-winning developer Treyarch will take you behind enemy lines in an entirely new chapter in the groundbreaking and record-setting, No. 1 first-person action series of all-time. Call of Duty: Black Ops will have dedicated multiplayer, single-player and co-op.

$70 on november 9. and if that doesn’t move you, this is a ps3 exclusive.