There is something about having the power to make people happy that swells my soul.

Of course, it might not seem like it while I’m running around like a chicken without its head to ensure that everything is just so or when I’m screaming at my kids because they’re leaving signs of life ALL over the house, but I really do. I swear!

Recently my son was kind enough to send me this video that could be actual footage of me before hosting anything from coffee to Christmas. As he explained “Mom! This is soYOU!” Please remind me again why I had kids?

Well, I guess I should be glad that I’m not the mother of Chris Fleming, the young man behind this video because he is the comedian that stars as the titular high-strung suburban mom Gayle Waters-Waters in this video, and many more that are also hilarious.

So, after the dust settles literally and the guests arrive, I put on my best hostess with the mostess attitude to dazzle them with delicious food, laughter, music, cocktails, more laughter and conversation before I send them back to reality where for days they are yearning for a little more. That’s Entertainment!

Why must there A L W A Y S be a price, even when something is F R E E?

WHHHYYYY????

Here’s my story sad but true…..

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Lee Wee with a birth certificate that claimed she was middle aged, but her spirit read young, ready and willing.

One day, in early December, her bestie scored some tickets to the Live With Kelly & Michael show in New York City, her most favorite cities of all.

The tickets were FREE or so they thought ….

Oh, how she longed to see her favorite city decorated in all its glory for Christmas. She was bursting with excitement just at the thought of this marvelous adventure!

As her bestie had dreams of meeting Kelly, Lee Wee had her focus on standing next to Michael and feeling short for 5 seconds!

So, in the wee hours of the morning, Lee Wee and her bestie ventured to the Big Apple in order to get to the studio by 7:00 a.m.

This was the first sign that FREE tickets aren’t really FREE.

They stood out on the dark cold street waiting patiently for the doors to open when suddenly rumors began to surface.

Rumors that one of the quests on the show was going to be none other than ….. Donald Trump.

Lee Wee screamed in horror and refused to believe it to be true!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she screamed when her new friends Ed & Sandy from Georgia confirmed it with a Google search.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she screamed when she saw the words “Secret Service” on the jacket of the officer in the building.

“No No No No No!” She said as she stated “I will NOT be clapping for that ass!” “I did not get up at 2:47 to see HIM … NO!”

Laughter at her clear frustration ensued around her as she wondered if her afternoon would be spent in the custody of the FBI.

Sandy asked with laughter, and a southern drawl, “Well, who would you want to see today?” Lee Wee responded with a solid “Anyone else on this planet would be great!” A N Y O N E

Lee Wee was in such deep denial at this point that she continued asking anyone with a pulse if it were true, even though all the evidence was crystal clear and her belongings were just searched by a Secret Service Agent.

First she asked the bathroom attendant who rolled her immigrant eyes, sighed and said … ‘yes.”

Next she asked the gentlemen at the desk who responded with a solid … “he sure is.”

Last but not least she asked the young man at the t-shirt kiosk who sadly stated, “yes! and it’s been the worst day of my existence as an employee.”

Lee Wee returned to her place in line defeated. She was about to enter a private hell.

There she was stuck in a LIVE studio, unable to rid her corneas and ear drums of the poison that was about to be forced upon her for the next HOUR.

Lee Wee sat in horror as she spotted DT right in front of her as he waited in the wings to hit the stage. She knew seeing that “hair” in person wasn’t going to be easy, but what she didn’t expect was for him to SPIT on the floor before walking out.

So it’s true kids, money can’t but class!

While everyone stood up, as they were told to do, she remained seated with folded arms in protest of his presence.

After what seemed like an eternity listening to this ass trying to convince himself that he was a “good person” Lee Wee was ready to move on.

The audience was filled with a majority of like-minded people and Lee Wee found it joyfully painful watching the producer waving his hands like a drowning fish to get the audience to applaud, as she silently chanted “no means no!”

FINALLY! The Donald left the building. Lee Wee began to smile, and the world was good again.

Lee Wee and her bestie spent the rest of the day soaking up everything this grand city had to offer in true best friend fashion while they … Enjoyed The Ride!

Like this:

As I was driving into work one morning, listening to one of my many favorite morning radio shows “The Preston & Steve Show” on 93.3 WMMR here in Philly. I say “many” because I am beyond a channel changer while driving. But this show certainly has a way of making my ride a little brighter as I head to the salt mines office every day.

This particular morning there was a discussion on a new book titled “Carsick” by John Waters. It’s a wonderful entertaining story about John’s decision to hitchhike across the country. As the DJ’s were discussing excerpts from the book, listeners were calling in to tell their personal stories about a time when they had no other choice but to hitch a ride. I found this all very intriguing.

Lucky for me John was making his rounds promoting his tale and I was able to catch an interview with him on the Bill Maher Show. I ordered the audio version right smack in the middle of the interview!

I must say I have never listened to a book before, because I am a traditional girl who enjoys her books written on paper, but since I have a 30-40 minute ride to the gym every day, I thought this would be a good way to pass the time and avoid my OCD channel changing … Mission accomplished John!

And so the adventure begins….

Many of you may already know that the then 66 year-old Baltimore film director John Waters decided to hitchhike from his home in Baltimore Maryland to his home in San Francisco. Crazy or living life?

Just the idea of such a journey in 2014, when the world seems so humanly disconnected, had me completely fascinated. I’m not sure why since I never had a wish to hitchhike … especially since most hitchhikers are usually portrayed as serial murders and frankly I’m a scardy cat. However, John did point out that most serial killers are looking for 20-year-old hookers and that did make me feel much safer.

The excitement as I put the first CD into the player was admittedly a tad over the top, but who cares … I just wanted to hear all the details of this journey … one CD at a time.

After listening to at least 2 CD’s I started to think …. “why haven’t I heard about any of this on the news?”

Well, the answer to that million dollar question was found when I decided to read up on the details of the book. Something I usually do before I hit the “Add to cart” button. This is where I learned I that the first half of the book was John’s fictional version of his trip. Let me just say If anyone has some swamp land they want to get rid of … I’m your girl.

First up are the fictional good and bad rides; followed by the real rides that got him to San Francisco. 3 books for the price of 1!

If you’ve ever seen or read any of John’s past work you are well aware that his imagination reaches a level that most people cannot even fathom and he does not hold back in the fictional version of his journey. Some might think it was over the top, others (like myself) might think … hey, you never know.

How could you not respond to this clever sign?

John wouldn’t be John without adding some exaggerated lewdness to the first half of the book. Hey, he isn’t known as the “Pope of Trash” for his portrayal of sunshine and butterflies. There were times when I think I might have blushed, cringed and laughed behind the wheel as I listened to him tell his fictional tale, but it didn’t stop me.

His words just confirmed that if anyone in this world was going to have sex with an Alien; be given a magical asshole for three hours that would fix a flat and sing duets with Connie Frances … well, it would be John Waters.

After all the crazy antics of the fictional adventures, I heard the words “The Real Thing” and I found myself so engrossed that I was driving in circles just to finish a chapter. It was worth every ounce of fuel … even at $3.67 a gallon!

I couldn’t help but imagine myself as one of those dashboard hula girls eavesdropping on every ride. Best seat in the house.

Does all of this make me want to manicure my thumb and hit the highway? Not one bit. It does however urge me to head into each day with my wit, optimism and belief that not every stranger is a serial killer … some are just out there to Enjoy theRide … just like me.

Music has always played a part in my life. I really can’t remember a time when there wasn’t some sort of music in our house, including my mother’s rendition of Reading & Writing and Arithmetic which was used to get us out of bed. Poor thing couldn’t carry a tune if it had a handle.

My dad’s contribution to our listening “pleasure” came through the likes of someone by the name of Boxcar Willie, who according to Wikipedia was an American singer, who sang in the “old-time hobo” music. No doubt this is what lead to my despise of country music.

Then there was my oldest sister’s influence of the Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix and Deep Purple. Sneaking into her room to see the Sticky Fingers album cover was a highlight of my childhood. The zipper really worked!

As kids we were always putting on musical productions in our garage. We made a curtain out of sheets, while our broom handles doubled as microphones. Good times! Our first big show included Proud Mary by the legendary Tina Turner. My sister, who was the oldest of the crew at the age of 10, gave herself the titles of producer, director & choreographer of the show. She was ruthless! During our rehearsals she tapped her red yardstick on the cement floor while pacing the room waiting for one of us to miss a step giving her the added pleasure of screaming START AGAIN. To this day when I hear that song I am compelled to do my routine and I have.

My preteen and teen years were loaded with a very wide variety of tunes. I loved Donna Summer, Evelyn Champagne King and the soundtrack to Grease just as much as Van Halen, Aerosmith, Cheap Trick & Cars. It all depended on the mood and the moment. Some moments I would like to forget, like the time someone most likely some stupid boy brought me to tears. This provided my friend’s older brother and biggest crush, the ammunition he needed to BLAST Van Halen’s Jamie’s Crying from his garage as I walked home from school. I can’t hear that song without acknowledging my first love/hate relationship.

The 20’s were loaded with dance music. I loved sharing the 80’s club scene with the King of Pop Michael Jackson and the Queen of all things 80’s Madonna. These icons were definitely staples in my musical life at that time. Along with shoulder pads & BIG flammable hair of course.

My 30’s…hmm, clearly a dark period in the music department. I had to surrender to the listening choices of the little ones, which included the screeching sounds of Barney the Dinosaur, Binyah Binya the Jamaican Pollywog or whatever other shows were keeping them entertained at the time. I don’t know about the kids, but I can still sing every song! Things started to look a little brighter when my daughter became obsessed with N’Sync and my son insisted on listening to REM’s Man on the Moon on the way to preschool. There is a God!

Currently I am all over the place with my musical selections. One peek at my playlist would clue you in on my wide range. There are days when Al Green is at the top of the list and then there are those days when Alice In Chains blaring is absolutely necessary to decompress during the car ride home. After allmusic is what feelings sound like…right?

Today I’ll admit that nothing fills the musical section of my heart more than seeing my nephew Ty and his band MACH22 living their dream through their passion for music. They recently had the opportunity to open for Slash with Myles Kennedy, the Conspirators and Foxy Shazam at the House of Blues in Atlantic City. As if that weren’t enough…

They were also hand selected by Slash himself as the Grand Prize winners of a nationwide contest hosted by Guitar Center. This was quite an honor considering the amount of competition! All of these achievements are coming on the heels of launching their first album American Swagger. I’m looking forward to this addition to my playlist.

Music makes the world a better place, so crank it up while you … Enjoy the Ride!

Greetings fellow bloggers. What a beautiful day it is here today in the Blogosphere. The sun seems to be shining just a little brighter this morning. Oh wait, sorry folks it’s just the flash of the Paparazzi. You’ll have to excuse me, I’m still trying to get use to my star status. Move it Lohan!

I am here to report that the rumors are all true, I am in fact the recipient of THREEawards. Please take a moment to feel sorry for yourselves. Just look at these adjectives Inspiring, Lovely & Beautiful. They are green to reflect your envy.

The Academy Twindaddy was kind enough to choose little ole me with the Very Inspiring BloggerAward Pause: Insert LOUD applause. Ok, ok, ok, please take your seats. Thank you Twindaddy for acknowledging all of my efforts to inspire you as a writer, a person and most importantly a Storm Trooper. Confession: I have no idea what a Storm Trooper is…zilch, zero, nada.One of the startling facts I learned about Twindaddy through this whole experience is he has feet at the bottom of his legs. That’s right, he revealed that deep dark secret about himself during his big 7 fact reveal. I still find myself shuddering in awe.

For god sakes I was still back stage giving an interview about my prior win when I heard my name being called yet again. Excuse me Oprah, I must not leave my fans waiting. As I entered the stage I had to adjust my eyes, I couldn’t believe that life on wry was standing there holding 2 awards. She actually let me choose my own award! These are the moments that confirm greatness. So, like the humble winner I am, I grabbed the The Lovely BlogAward and ran like hell. Just incase this was some sort of error. Life on Wry is pro. She writes candidly with humor. She is also a self-proclaimed MASTER of procrastination. This fact could have really screwed up my big night. Thank you LOW for being on your game and letting me choose my award!

Andre was right in the middle of touching up my make-up when I was being summoned to the stage for a 3rd time. The demands of stardom are endless. This time the stage was set in bright pink lighting, with glitter and sparkles. Standing at the podium like a human Barbie was heysugarsugar beaming with excitement as she handed me the Beautiful Blogger Award. She admits to being slightly deranged, but harmless so I approached with caution. Honestly, how deranged can someone be going by the name Sugar? I love her name! She doesn’t know this, but I spent a good part of my youth singing that famous song by the Archie’s. It was my first 45 and I am proud to say I played it to death. Thank you Sugar for this beautiful award and memory!

Since all of these awards require me to reveal 7 or 11 things about myself. I think I’ll just round this out to an even 10. When you win 3, yes 3 awards in a row, you make your own rules.

1. I am an early riser, which has been instilled in me since childhood. If my father was up, we all had to be up. I spent most of my early life being woken up by the bellowing sound of my dad’s voice saying …“What are you going to do sleep your life away?” It was 6 a.m.!

2. In addition to #1 when I wake up, I am in fact awake. Smiling, talking, laughing or whatever else comes my way. This is extremely annoying to non-morning people….trust me.

3. I’m a Pisces. Psst…my birthday is coming up.

4. I once saw a homeless man lying on a vent wearing the same red dress I wore to my sister’s wedding years before. Unlike me, he chose NOT to wear underwear with his ensemble.

5. Making the bed is a priority before leaving the house. It cannot go undone or it will haunt me the entire day.

6. I have the unique ability to immediately notice uncanny resemblances. Just the other day a woman came into the office who looked exactly like Captain Kangaroo. It’s a gift.

7. In my twenties I was held hostage by a squirrel. I opened the dryer and it jumped out. I ran out of the house and sat on the step as it watched me from the laundry room window. It was in full camo, smoking, pointing and at times laughing. This was before cell phones, so I had to WAIT for someone to help me. Closing the door never entered my mind!

8. I saw a sweatshirt hanging on a fence and felt sorry for it…it wasn’t the first time I was emotional over a lonely inanimate object. It was cold and raining, yes I am justifying this insanity.

9. I gasped out loud, smiled like a clown and let out a big YES! when I saw that The Byronic Man “LIKED” one of my posts. I’m so easy to please.

10. I cannot get enough of that Cantankerous Cat meme! Shh, don’t tell anyone, I secretly make up my own captions and laugh out loud.

This is the part where I’m suppose to choose worthy recipients of these awards, but I’ve decided that anyone who took the time to read this post is in fact; Inspiring, Lovely & Beautiful. Therefore, I made the executive decision to allow you all to choose one or all three awards for yourselves. I can’t help it people, I’m a giver.

I just happen to live in Philadelphia…where all this Hoopla originated.

Do you want to be the hit of your BBQ today? Have you ever wanted to be referred to as “Smarty Pants”? Well, today is your lucky day folks! I have provided you with some very interesting 4th of July facts that are guaranteed to get you avoided like the plague or envied by all…Choose your victims audience wisely. This is your time to shine…let your bells of freedom ring loud!

Now go make your cheat sheet…grab the Jell-O mold and hit that BBQ with a world of knowledge that is sure to stump your family and friends. Start with the crowd that is hovered around the alcohol, they won’t be able to run as quickly.

Did You Know …..

• The Fourth of July was not declared a national holiday until 1941.

• Malia Obama, George Steinbrenner, Neil Simon, Ron Kovic and Calvin Coolidge were all born on the Fourth of July.

• These events occurred on the Fourth of July: Henry David Thoreau moved into his shack on Walden Pond (1845); the U.S. air offensive against Nazi, Germany, began (1942); Beach Boys’ “I Get Around” reached No. 1 on the Billboard charts (1964); Lyndon Johnson signed the Freedom of Information Act (1966).

• The stars on the original American flag were in a circle so all the Colonies would appear equal.

• Benjamin Franklin proposed the turkey as the national bird but was overruled by John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, who wanted the bald eagle.

• The musical “1776” premiered on Broadway in 1969 and ran for 1,217 performances. The production won three Tony Awards, including one for best musical.

• The number of Americans who will spend the holiday at other people’s homes is approximately 41 million

• The first official Fourth of July party was held at the White House in 1801.

• Approximately 150 million hot dogs are consumed on this day.

• The town of Patriot, Ind., has a population of 202 people.

• Presidents John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe all died on the Fourth. Adams and Jefferson died on the same day within hours of each other in 1826.

• The percentage of American homes with an outdoor grill is 87 percent.

• The song “Yankee Doodle” was sung originally by British officers making fun of backwoods Americans.

• The amount of chicken purchased the week before the holiday is 700 million pounds.

• The Declaration of Independence was signed by 56 men from 13 colonies.

• In 1776, there were 2.5 million people living in the new nation. (Today there are 311 million.)

Like this:

Whoa…..flying your Freak Flag is exhausting! This weekend started off fairly normal on Friday with food shopping, a dentist appointment, visiting mom and a trip to the Mall with my daughter. On Saturday I had plans to go see my nephew’s band play at the TLA (Theater of The Living Arts) here in Philadelphia. MACH22 wasn’t hitting the stage until 10:00 pm, so I had to rest up before the big event by chillaxing at the homestead. I wrapped it up Sunday with the hubby, breakfast and a looooong ride with the top down.

On Saturday I finally finished a book I received for my birthday in February…so pathetic that it’s taken this long. It was the autobiography of Steven Tyler …”Does The Noise In My Head Bother You” a Rock ‘N’ Roll Memoir. Now, I was never a hardcore Aerosmith fan or anything, but I did master drawing their logo all over my copy books in high school.

Recently I became interested in Steven Tyler after watching an interview he did with Oprah. I was immediately captivated by his honesty, which also resonates throughout this book. If you’re admitting to smoking a comb, yes a comb as in the one you use for your hair, it’s safe to say you’re an open book. The admission was a very nonchalant “I’ve smoked combs for chrissakes.” Which left me with one question … “How the HELL are you still alive?”

I learned that Steven is not just a Rock Star, he is musically gifted. His father, who studied at Julliard, taught him the importance of listening to the notes. Music runs through his veins and fills his soul…that is passion friends. I think he wears his passion well…looking pretty dam good still ROCKIN out at 64. Dream On indeed!

Next on the Freak Flag agenda…MACH22. My daughter and I headed to the city for the show. Whew and what a show it was! I was standing at the foot of the stage in amazement as I watched Ty bring his Les Paul to life. There was a moment when I was emotional…I just couldn’t believe that the sound coming from that instrument was caused by the hands of my nephew. That guitar was singing a song one chord at a time…dam!

They rocked the faces off of the audience, who were begging LOUDLY for an encore! I really wouldn’t want to be the next band up…that’s for sure.

It was the first time they had merchandise at the show sporting their logo. I was working the room offering FREE boxes of matches to the audience.

Young people are not very receptive to FREE merchandise, they actually seemed scared. It’s not like I was spraying them with perfume for god sakes! However, the doobie smokers were more than happy to receive a free light.

I concluded that the $4.00 bottle of water, ringing ears and newly acquired deafness were well worth the magic I witnessed!

Sunday, the day of rest…NOT, was spent with the top down. The hubby wanted breakfast, but we were slow to move and settled for Brunch at the Washington Crossing Inn.

The Inn is very beautiful and historic. I could have done without seeing the enormous flat screen TV amongst the historic decor, but that’s just me. We were able to dine outside, which was a treat on such a beautiful day. The food was delicious, or as the hubby said “over priced” and the conversations surrounding us delightful.

I am wired for sound and can hear a conversation across the room. This can be very entertaining, especially when a father announces to a table of his peers that he will be saving $17,000 this year because his son is going to commute. He was scared living in a co-ed dorm with half-naked girls walking the halls. Let’s just say that justification probably sounded so much better in his head.

Next stop was through New Hope and then Doylestown where they just happened to be shooting a movie called The North Star. Needless to say we didn’t bring our head shots, so we had no chance of being an extra and were forced to continue along the open road. So long Hollywood….you had your chance.

By this point the sun was blazing, my Freak Flag was practically pleading to be shoved into the closet and I was ready to R E L A X.

All good things must come to an end folks, but some weekends require an ENCORE … Enjoy the Ride!

Today I’m giving a shout out to my nephew Tyler. Holla! He prefers to go by Ty, now that he is heading into the direction of Rock Star status. Once he incorporated leather and skulls into his wardrobe, even I had to surrender to using Ty.

Ty studied music at the Berklee School of Music, which gives you an idea about the level of love he has for music. He lives, breathes and incorporates it into every part of his life. Music is his passion and when passion is played on a Les Paul … it’s magical.

Currently he is part of the band MACH22, which is made up of the following musical geniuses:

Lamont Caldwell-Vocals

Ty Asoudegan-Lead Guitar

Sebastian LaBar-Rythm Guitar/Vocals

Frank Day-Bass/Vocals

Tim Everly-Drums

Live Performance

MACH22 was started by Lamont Caldwell. I can’t describe how far his talents reach, lets just leave it at a Cosmic Level shall we.

He is a multi-talented musician that was in search of an outlet to let his creative genius loose, and that he did when he joined forces with these other top-notch musicians to form MACH22.

Right from the start they stood-out amongst their peers in the vibrant Philly music scene, along with catching the eye of some professionals in the music biz. It’s no doubt this recognition has been accomplished. Their collective musical passion is heard in every note, it resonates with their audience and leaves them wanting more.

The LIVE performances of this Philadelphia based band have a powerful sound. They have been coined as “Zeppelin meets Kravitz” playing REAL rock and roll music! Remember what that is folks? The sound that makes you want to crank up the volume and the let the song hit you in the face. Oh, yea!

I don’t want to brag or make anybody jealous but … Judy over at Raising the Curtain has nominated Life With The Top Down for the ABC (Awesome Blog Content) Award. Oh, yea baby Judy thinks this blog ROCKS!

I love Judy’s blog! She incorporates humor and wisdom into her writing in a way that leaves you entertained and enlightened. I am honored to be one of Judy’s chosen bloggers and humbled that someone thinks enough of my writing to pass this honor my way.

Of course this award isn’t handed out without a string attached, come on now, awards are earned remember. Now I must provide all of you with 26 things about myself, chronicled from A to Z, and then pass the honor along to 5 blogs that I deem worthy.

I am very excited to introduce others to good reading material. In the “real” world I enjoy passing books along to friends and now I have the pleasure of passing on some Awesome Blog Content that I have discovered here in the Blogosphere.

Here Is A Little Of Me From A to Z

Animated … yes, my face says it all without ever uttering a word.

Bodacious … I love this word and hope to do it justice some day.

Convertible … the car that rolled into my life and brought the other C-word, change.

1967, The Jimi Hendrix Experience appeared on UK TV’s Top Of The Pops’ . Jimi gave his unscripted opinion on the music that made it to the top. No filters, no PR waving their hands trying to make him stop talking …nothing but an honest answer to a simple question.

However, I did notice that Jimi tended to use the descriptive words, beautiful, pretty and ridiculous (in a good way) repeatedly throughout the article for his positive feedback and a very mild “Musicwise, I’m sorry, but I just don’t care for them” as the negative, when referring to the Monkees.

This BadA$$ with a guitar was a gentle soul or maybe it was the LSD talking, who knows. What I do know is that … it isn’t such a bad thing.

This lead me to ponder the idea of perhaps putting a little LSD into, I don’t know, the ventilation system at The Capital. I believe it could be a game changer.