Was It Love? - Concluding Part

I feel your sturdy hands on mine, and the first thing I notice is that how warm you are. My heart is beating so fast that I can hear it reverberate in my ears. I clumsily cover myself with the bed sheet, using my left hand and later rest in on your hand. I am scared, very scared. This is the end of whatever we had, I know. Here you are, in front of me. The gorgeous you, about to break my heart. I think of all the years that we have been best friends. A little more than three years now. And it has to come to an abrupt end, just like that. But I suddenly think, what is going on? Why am I thinking so much? We were friends, just friends. Last night was clearly a mistake. And considering your routine of girls, you can let it go soon too. Right? Let us just forget about last night and move on the way we were. I feel relieved and my lips break into a smile. I see your face brightening up.

"Thank God it was you." I say finally.

"Eh?" You say looking confused.

"Promise me Arjun, you shall forget this night. And that we shall never talk about it again. Promise me, come on."

"But Pia....."

"Please Arjun. This is the best thing to do. You are too good a friend to lose. I do not love you and last night was clearly a mistake. You know that too, don't you?"

You look on with a blank expression. I think it is relief. You now do not have to carry this burden all your life. I'm happy to see you calm and I jump of the bed, pick up my clothes from the floor and rush to the bathroom to get ready.

Mistake. You called this a mistake? Last night was the best night of my life Pia and you call it a mistake? And more than that, how can you talk about it so nonchalantly? We just spent a passionate night together and now you are making it feel like it was a one night stand. It seems like this is normal to you. I'm getting scared Pia, why are you behaving like this? You call me the playboy, but what are you doing here? My judgement is getting clouded. Please tell me that you are only kidding, and did not mean all that you said. It is hurting me real bad. I feel like a loser and like a piece of trash suddenly. I sit here, on the bed we made love on and am lost in disturbing thoughts. You said that you do not love me. But last night seemed to say otherwise. Was I just imagining the love then? Or was it just the alcohol for you? Wow, are you going to blame me for it now? How much more do you want to hurt me?

"Okay I am done. Go dress up fast." I feel fresh after a quick shower.

You don't seem to be reacting to what I am saying. What is wrong with you. I just made it easier for you. Please don't hold the guilt within you. I was as responsible for it as you were. Will you now please let it go, so that we can move on with our lives. Come on Arjun, let us not make this awkward. Finally, I see you get up and walk up to the bathroom, with the bed sheet hastily tied around your waist.

"Wait. You take your time. Let me leave. Rina and Neha will be worried. I'll see you directly in class then. Okay?" I just wanted to get out of the house as soon as possible.

"Okay." You say weakly and walk away.

I carefully close the door behind me and walk out. The sun is shining bright and I feel the heat on me. My body feels nice and relaxed. The wind blows gently waving my hair every now and then. I did the right thing I know. Else I wouldn't have been feeling this happy now. First, I stop by a pharmacy and pick up a morning after pill. I pull out a water bottle from my bag and pop the pill in my mouth and throw the cover away. The pharmacist looks at me in disgust. Well, I do not have to answer him. I pay the amount and walk away to hail a rickshaw.

My body feels all battered and bruised now. All the passion of last night, seems to be mocking and cursing me. I can see the marks on my back, left behind by your nails. It was passion last night, but now they are just wounds. I let the water hit it and wince in pain. I can feel tears flow down my cheeks and the ache is only getting stronger. On an impulse, I grab the bar of soap and rub it all over me. Trying to cleanse the mess of myself. The wet bar slips from my hand, I bend down to pick it up and hit my head against the tap. What have you done to me Pia? Why did you have to do this? I sit down, under the shower replaying last night in my mind and soaking the pain of the piercing water on me. I look at my hands, the same hands that held you tight last night. I wanted to make you feel safe and secure. Instead you made me feel so cheap. I cannot help but think one thing Pia. What if there was someone else instead of me, last night?

I get home quickly, and see that my house mates have already left to college. I change my clothes and rush to class. I wait for you, but you don't come. Why aren't you answering your phone? Why are you doing this to me Arjun? Please, I do not want to lose you. I bunk the next class and wait in the canteen. Yet no sign of you. My heart is racing wondering what is happening. My eyes suddenly ached for you and I longed for your touch. What the hell was happening to me I don't know. Dazed, I gulped coffee after coffee and sat waiting. I would have tried your phone about 200 times by now. Why aren't you answering it? Hell with it, I am coming to see you. I rush to your house arguing with the rickshaw driver all along, your house is locked. I call you again, but I hear your phone ringing. So you have left your phone at home and gone somewhere. I know the only place that you go to. Twenty minutes later, I reach Guzzlers and see you sitting in the corner with a pitcher of beer in front of you.

"Drinking at 1 pm? Wow!" I say as I proceed to sit before you and see the shock and hurt in your eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Came to find you. Obviously."

"Why?" I sense irritation in your voice.

"Had to tell you something." I reach for your hand and you push it away.

"I want to be alone Pia. Let me be."

"No, I want to be here. With you. What will you do?" I bring out my arrogant tone.

"I'll leave." You say looking right into my eyes.

"I shall not let you leave. Never."

"Get lost Pia. I am in no mood for your childish games."

"You seemed be in an awesome mood last night though." I chide.

I see the look of disgust on you face.

"You are the one who did not want to talk about last night. Remember?"

I nod quietly.

"Pia, I'm hurt. And I can't even tell you why. That hurts even more. You will not understand. Please leave."

I feel my heart racing and my mind is telling me to rush the flow of words.

"I love you too Arjun. I just had not realized it until now." I say slowly.

I can see that you are shocked. But then I see your face change and you finally leak out a smile.

"Oh, what did you say? Pia, say it again."

"Last night was the best night of my life. But I thought it meant nothing to you. Before you could hurt you, I decided to get out myself. And then......"

"Then what?"

"Then I found this." I pull out a diary from my bag and you grab it.

"How? When did you take this?"

"Today. Since I left in a hurry I grabbed your diary along with my books. I read this while waiting for you at college and I realized how much you love me."

"So, that is why the "I love you too" eh?" I can feel your voice relaxing.

In an instant I was in your arms and I could see tears flowing down your cheeks and mingling with my tears. But then something crosses my mind and I laugh out loud.

"What?" You look into my eyes.

"It feels like the movie Kal ho na ho. Or Jab tak hai jaan too. A diary to the rescue. Don't you think so?" I grin.

"Oh shut up, Bollywood! Come here" You say as your lips meet mine and I'm transported to a happy place. And I know that this is only the beginning.

About The Blog

Every written word in this space is my thoughts alone. Do not try to relate it to your life and create a scene in my circles. Believe me, if I wanted to write about someone who has wronged me, I'd write a story and kill that person off in the first line. As grotesquely as possible.
Stop making assumptions. But hey, if the shoe fits, lace up the bitch and wear it!

My Reading Dose

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