Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Michael Jackson the bachelor?

400-pounds of intestines fall onto interstate

Motorists headed north out of Milwaukee on Interstate 43 Thursday evening ran into a pig problem. A load of more than 400 pounds of pig intestines had fallen on the freeway.

The Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department said a trucker was heading from Mount Morris, Illinois to Green Bay when a tarp over the load apparently came loose and the pig entrails fell out. The driver didn't realize the problem until authorities caught up with him nearly an hour later.

A hazardous materials team was called in to help clean up the mess, which kept two traffic lanes closed for nearly four hours. A salt-and-oil drying combination was used for the job. Article here.

A sign Jon was having a rough day at work

Dunken surgeon arrested in operating room

The top neurosurgeon at Highland Hospital has been suspended and may be charged with a misdemeanor after what authorities called a drunken altercation with sheriff's deputies in an operating room, officials said Thursday.Deputies believe Dr. Federico Castro-Moure, 45, was intoxicated during the scuffle and prosecutors may charge him with public drunkenness and interfering with a peace officer.

The incident began about 8:30 p.m. Monday when Castro-Moure argued with nurses recommending that he wait several hours for sterile equipment to arrive before operating on a spinal patient.Although Castro-Moure wanted to operate immediately, other hospital personnel believed the surgery could be delayed because the patient was stable enough to wait, said Dr. David Altman, the hospital's chief medical officer.

In such cases, it is the hospital's policy to wait. But Castro-Moure became angry and physically and verbally abusive, officials said. A nurse summoned deputies to the foyer outside the fifth-floor operating room.

When deputies attempted to intervene, Castro-Moure allegedly shouted obscenities and used his arm and clenched fist to keep them at bay, officials said. Although the deputies arrested Castro-Moure on suspicion of public intoxication -- based upon both his behavior and the smell of alcohol on his breath -- Eskridge said the doctor was so uncooperative that deputies could not adequately test him for intoxication.

The unidentified patient was in the emergency room at the time and remained there throughout the incident, officials said. His spinal operation occurred Tuesday morning, and he is recovering satisfactorily, Altman said. Read the full article here.

The Best Accidental Discoveries:

1. ViagraMen being treated for erectile dysfunction should salute the working stiffs of Merthyr Tydfil, the Welsh hamlet where, in 1992 trials, the gravity-defying side effects of a new angina drug first popped up. Previously, the blue-collar town was known for producing a different kind of iron.

2. LSDSwiss chemist Albert Hofmann took the world's first acid hit in 1943, when he touched a smidge of lysergic acid diethylamide, a chemical he had researched for inducing childbirth. He later tried a bigger dose and made another discovery: the bad trip.

3. X-rays Several 19th-century scientists toyed with the penetrating rays emitted when electrons strike a metal target. But the x-ray wasn't discovered until 1895, when German egghead Wilhelm Röntgen tried sticking various objects in front of the radiation - and saw the bones of his hand projected on a wall.

4. PenicillinScottish scientist Alexander Fleming was researching the flu in 1928 when he noticed that a blue-green mold had infected one of his petri dishes - and killed the staphylococcus bacteria growing in it. All hail sloppy lab work!

5. Artificial sweeteners Speaking of botched lab jobs, three leading pseudo-sugars reached human lips only because scientists forgot to wash their hands. Cyclamate (1937) and aspartame (1965) are byproducts of medical research, and saccharin (1879) appeared during a project on coal tar derivatives. Yummy.

7. Brandy Medieval wine merchants used to boil the H20 out of wine so their delicate cargo would keep better and take up less space at sea. Before long, some intrepid soul - our money's on a sailor - decided to bypass the reconstitution stage, and brandy was born. Pass the Courvoisier!

8. Vulcanized rubberRubber rots badly and smells worse, unless it's vulcanized. Ancient Mesoamericans had their own version of the process, but Charles Goodyear rediscovered it in 1839 when he unintentionally (well, at least according to most accounts) dropped a rubber-sulfur compound onto a hot stove.

9. Silly Putty In the early 1940s, General Electric scientist James Wright was working on artificial rubber for the war effort when he mixed boric acid and silicon oil. V-J Day didn't come any sooner, but comic strip image-stretching practically became a national pastime.

10. Potato chipsChef George Crum concocted the perfect sandwich complement in 1853 when - to spite a customer who complained that his fries were cut too thick - he sliced a potato paper-thin and fried it to a crisp. Needless to say, the diner couldn't eat just one.

10 mega-pixel camera phone- kick-ass!

So one of the biggest problems / complaints / requests of U.S. camera phones is that the resolution of the pictures just aren’t quite up to everyone’s standards. Most people agree they are great for taking ‘quick pics’ of various things- but even more people would agree that the resolution of the cameras aren’t sufficient to take everyday photos. This camera phone (below) made by Samsung is not only small (it’s about 2 times the thickness of a RAZR), but it is also a 10 megapixel camera phone (and it has zoom!). Sad thing is- this won’t be available in the U.S. for a while… [sigh] (source here)

Inmates say human waste was in food

Four former inmates of the Citrus County Detention Facility filed a federal lawsuit against the private company that runs the jail, alleging two former officers put human waste in their food and drinks.

The inmates were subject to cruel punishment, torture and battery in 2004, when they were forced to eat the food contaminated with urine and feces, according to the lawsuit filed Friday in U.S. District Court in Tampa.

The inmates complained the food had a foul odor and didn't taste right, but were forced to eat the food or go hungry, the lawsuit said. After eating the food, they suffered from "vomiting, stomach cramps and nausea," the lawsuit claims.

The lawsuit said correction officers Kevin Hessler and Alexander Diaz "intentionally and repeatedly fed the plaintiffs urine and fecal matter, even after the plaintiffs protested and resisted" because the food tasted and smelled bad.

Grant said a supervisor should have reported the complaints to the jail warden sooner. Charles Mulligan, a former supervisor employed by Corrections Corporation of America, said one of the corrections officers acknowledged to putting human waste in an inmate's drinking jug, according to transcripts of a telephone hearing with the Office of Employment Appeals in Tallahassee on Feb. 16, 2005.

Mulligan was fired because he did not report the incident, the jail's warden, Carlos Melendez, testified at the hearing. Hessler and Diaz, who are accused of battery in the suit, also were fired. Article here.

Respect my authorit-aaaay!

Woman grows her hair our for 41 years

Wanda New had not cut her hair since 1964. So when she finally gave in to the scissors last week, it was a network television event.

Although she had occasionally trimmed her bangs and evened up the ends of her 60-inch, naturally blonde locks, New, a 55-year-old rural mail carrier from Owen County, had let her hair grow since her freshman year in high school.

Late last year, a bank employee in Frankfort who admired New's long hair mentioned the Locks of Love project, which uses donated hair for making hair prosthetics for children who have suffered permanent hair loss from illness and reaction to medications.New's husband, Danny, died 2½ years ago in a bulldozer accident, and because he was so fond of her long hair she was especially reluctant to have it cut. But she liked the Locks of Love program, and she finally followed her friend's advice to sign up as a donor on the organization's Web site.

“Everybody's telling me that I look 10 years younger, and a lot of people say 20. It used to take about two hours to wash it and let it get dry. Now I can wash it in two minutes -- and there's no tangles."

Two hours to wash your hair? I’m usually in the shower for less than five minutes. Of course my hair is about a centimeter long- but regardless, I would hate to be ‘doing my hair’ for over 10 minutes. Article here.

Well, it's one way to make a flatscreen

The history of the 'cubicle'

The cubicle has been called many things in its long and terrible reign. But what it has lacked in beauty and amenity, it has made up for in crabgrass-like persistence. Reviled by workers, demonized by designers, disowned by its very creator, it still claims the largest share of office furniture sales--$3 billion or so a year--and has outlived every "office of the future" meant to replace it. It is the Fidel Castro of office furniture.

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."