She drank a glass of rose last night, and wants to go on a picnic. You drank...who even knows?...last night and want to float comatose and hungover on a raft in the lake. Oh hey, a Floating Picnic Table. Everyone gets what they want.

The Floating Picnic Table is a Rhino Building Products design for leveling up your next experience at the lake, pool, or beach. The table seats 4, and has been float tested to support up to 600 pounds without sinking or cap-sizing. Rhino Building Products is mum on the material specifics of how they make the Floating Picnic Table, but whatever it is, it's pretty lightweight - the finished product weighs just 65 pounds, spread over a length of 96", width of 60", and height of 20". Naturally, the table is also finished in a waterproof coating.

Floating Picnic flourishes include eyehooks on each end for strapping in your swim gear and cooler, and cup holders on all 4 corners.

In addition to ordering directly from Rhino Building Products, members can also get a Rhino Floating Picnic Table here from Sam's Club.

As cute 'n' clever as this Picnic Table Squirrel Feeder is, I'm confused. Aren't most people trying to keep squirrels out of their yards? And, more specifically, the F away from their wildlife feeders? I know my mama...

Now here's a way to win your dinner party or first date. My Hibachi BBQ's 3-in-1 Sit Around propane gas grill is an investment to be sure, but think of all the use you'll get out of it, showing off to friends and family...

World of Watersports takes ancient Greece to the lake with their Parthenon Canopy Spa Island. Now, in an effort to make this Parthenon float rather than sink you like a Greek tragedy to the water's floor, WOW has opted...

I must be into predators today. Live Watersports' snake-tongued L2Fish and L4Expedition catamaran paddleboards come hot - no, how about cool and refreshing floating in a crystal clear Caribbean bay? - on the heels of...

I wouldn't bet a single credit that Darth Vader could even float in that armor, much less engage in a competitive lightsaber battle wearing it in the water. But 2020 is nothing if not a year of surprises, so here we are...

The Zerobody is a sensory deprivation float tank that removes the one major P in the A side effect of floating: getting wet. (True, drowning is kind of a pain too, but most of these tanks have only about a foot of water...

Bathtime anytime! This portable inflatable bathtub fills up for sudsing up in front of the TV, outside the RV, even on the lake. Because, yes, it also floats. And with a zip-up top cover to keep the water warm, built-in...

Rather the seal him inside a shipping container bound for Abu Dhabi, why not fill that shipping container with water and let Odie dog paddle around inside it with you this summer? Dig up a big hole in your backyard, and...

Yeah, dudes, I definitely think you can say you own a speed boat in your Tinder profile if you buy one of these inflatable party islands. It covers all the major speed boat bases: looks like a speed boat; holds 6 friends...

Were these sweet (cheeked) Butt Buoys used in the making of Weekend at Bernie's? If not, they should have been. Ahhh, nothing screams 80s class louder than a PVC anchor marker fashioned in the shape of an inverted lady's...

In discussing the best pool floats for Summer 2019, I'm not suggesting that summer pool floats and inflatables are like Apple products or televisions, with new releases surrounded by an air of intrigue and anticipation...