life after losing a child

Never Tire

Every day this world seems to fall deeper and deeper into sin. As a Christian I get frustrated and discouraged by that at times. The world says we don’t have to forgive those who hurt us. We are encouraged to carry resentment, grudges and even pursue revenge.

When I decided to forgive Jesse, the drunk driver who killed my daughter, not everyone around me supported me in that decision. The fake smiles and questioning eyes revealed their heart. How could I forgive that man and betray my daughter’s memory?

For months, even years I defended my decision with God’s Word. God commands us to forgive, period. We are forgiven and we are to forgive others. The concordance in my bible contains a vast array of passages pertaining to forgiveness. I’m sure your bible contains the same thing.

I won’t attempt to speculate why or judge them for their reaction. Each of us has our own story, our own issues, our own struggles with sin. What I will do is continue to pray for them and encourage them in any way I can.

I will also cling to Scripture to help me when Satan uses them to attack me. The book of Joshua is filled with encouragement. The command to “be strong and courageous” is spoken four times in the first chapter alone. That command along with God’s promise to be with us, fill the same pages. In Jeremiah, God tells the prophet “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” (Jer 1:8)

In Jeremiah 17 verse 10, the Lord tells us that He ‘searches the heart and examines the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct and according to what his deeds deserve’. While that verse serves as a promise, it also serves as a warning. God knows our hearts and our motives. We can’t hide anything from Him and He rewards us accordingly so even though I get discouraged by resistance to my forgiveness, I know what I’m doing is pleasing God and that’s all that matters.

I ran across this verse and it sums it all up for me at this moment. 2 Thessalonians 3:13 b encourages us to never tire of doing what it right. No matter who the enemy uses to come against me, I will continue to do what is right, knowing I am obeying the Sovereign God of all creation. Put that verse together with the others ones listed and I know that no matter who comes against me, God is always with me.