Archive for the Skiing Category

She is a nobody. I hate her. She tried to sue me. It is personal. So I know I shouldn’t be giving her attention.

But I do have a little ski bunny fetish, only because I live in Canada and have been to the ski hill many times, only to see girls getting in and out of snowsuits and girls who think are horrible looking while bundled up on the slopes, actually have amazing bodies they are just hiding in ill-fitting snowsuits while trying to keep warm….making trying to seduce them like playing the lottery, never knowing what you are going to get….making the whole ski scene one I was too poor to ever be a part of, but a solid place to work as a janitor who cleans out the girl’s locker room where they all change and walk around in their long underwear….

I’m just using Victoria Silvstedt to prove a point…not because I think she’s one of those snow bunnies I want to fuck, cuz I know she’s just a high paid escort and there’s nothing exciting about bitches who jump through hoops for money…I guess unless they are jumping through my hoops….

I wrote about going up to the woods and poppin’ bottles with models, you know by running through the forrest hunting racoons because I had no real poon and they looked soft, plentiful and easy to seduce, all you need is a little kitchen garbage and I always smell like kitchen garbage.

Anyway, I just got word from my friend who lives up there, that some famous chick was at the ski hill that I walked through Sunday afternoon lookin for quarters to get home and check out rich ski bunnies since I was hungover and it was a nice day.

So I googled the shit and it turns out that it was Natasha Richardson, who I didn’t really know, but who I have heard of and who is married to Liam Neeson.

Anyway, she fell, was airlifted and now the couple are a couple minutes away from me, her in critical condition with brain damage and Neeson seeing his life crash before his eyes. I should go for an exclusive, I know a doctor at that hospital, but I’m not a news source and you don’t really care about this, you insensitive pricks. Wear your helmets…

All this losing all my money shit’s killing me. I think I just shat out my liver or something that looked like my liver. It’s either stress or the ebola virus, either way I am fucked. But I figured you shouldn’t suffer because I am suffering. We only have a limited time together, so I gotta make the best of it. That’s how much I like you and because corporate america can take my money but they can’t take my funny, or my bad poetry….

I have been hustling facebook the last couple of days and I came across a comment from some girl I don’t know that said she got a 63% on her test so I wrote:

I hope it wasn’t your “What you look like naked” test…cuz that would be depressing. Based on your pics, I woulda given you at least a 65%…baby…

So do you come here often?

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Either way, here are some pictures of:Danielle Lloyd, doing what she does, which is pretty much rock a bikini everywhere she goes, even to the ski hill, because that’s how committed she is to her useless career that’s only going to last another 15 lbs or 5 years, whichever comes first, so she’s gotta bank everything she can, it’s gotta last her a lifetime.