Dakota Whatever, Jamie Dornan and Sam Taylor-Johnson actually smiled with their mouths at the Fifty Shades of Mehpremiere at the Berlinale International Film Festival tonight and probably because a photographer screamed, “You’re almost done with this shit!” Or because someone from Universal waved their bonus checks at them – Just Jared

Goopy Paltrow wants you to think that her conscious uncoupling with Chris Martin happened a year before she announced it, because nobody cheats on her with an Alexa Chung! – Lainey Gossip

That time where I mistook a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover model for Fiona Apple – Drunken Stepfather

I have a feeling that Backdoor Farrah is totally going to get the Nobel Peace Prize in literature for this one – Reality Tea

Aaron Johnson proposed to Sam Taylor-Johnson before their lips even touched. Okay, but did they do anal, because if so, then I don’t think it’s creepy that he asked her to be his wife before kissing – Celebitchy

The trailer for Judd Apatow’s Trainwreck is out and it had me at Tilda Swinton – Jezebel

Didn’t Pink get the memo? It’s only okay to pose naked for animal charities if you’re posing with a dead fish on your twat – The Superficial

Kristen Stewart is walking down the street and she’s not holding her morning coffee. I fully expect Starbucks to declare bankruptcy in 3..2…. – Popoholic

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