I was a tad surprised about all the controversy about Part I of this piece, because I was writing from my own experience. Really, what else can you write from, unless you’re scraping news stories about Britney Spears?

What people don’t usually want to know, unless they have special circumstances, is when they will die.

Often I will tell a woman that she will outlive her husband, so that she can make sure he has good insurance. Not enough so that she’s tempted to kill him her ownself, because really, all women can relate to that impulse by times. No, enough so that she won’t have financial worries hit her at the same time as grief does. It makes a wreck out of a woman.

Yesterday, I read a beautiful spirit. I saw her husband’s death very soon.

I didn’t see mourning, yet she had been a good wife. I saw her whole life drastically changing, and her dreams coming true very soon.

Her dreams were simple. She wanted to travel. She wanted to have sex after repressing it for over 20 years.

Her husband suffered brain damage over 20 years ago. She has been taking care of him for lo, these twenty some years. She has forgiven him his angry unreasonable outbursts, his irrational behaviour, because she remembered the man he was before. The wonderful man she married.

This man rages and is depressed because he feels trapped in his brain-damaged existence. I wept when I looked at his picture. I saw the pain he suffers.

This woman touched my heart so profoundly. I know I will never forget her.

I just stumbled back from the comments section over at OMSH and
thought “Dang!” because I do actually think in exclamation marks.

I shared something relevant in the comments section,but the
Dang! was because I should have used my thoughts as an entry.

The entry was about her heartache over catching a church member
cheating on his wife, with his wife’s so-called best friend.

I have been reading tea leaves, palms, tarot cards, entrails, etc.,
for more than 24 years.

I can count on the fingers of ONE HAND how many women straight up
wanted to know if hubby was cheating.

Why?
I’m glad you asked. I have certainly asked myself.
Oh, wait. It’s because they don’t want to know.

If the one who has vowed to forsake all others isn’t through with
all the forsaking, then action must be taken.
When children are involved in the scenario, said action becomes
frightening. Who wants to risk the emotional and financial
security of their children?

If cheating spouse is confronted, he will either deny or confess.
With a confession, there is either a change of behaviour or not.
Personally, I think it is genetically encoded to deny, deny, deny.
But that’s me. I’ve seen their work.
I’m not bitter. A little bitter, okay? Back off.

If the cheating behaviour changes, there is a long,
sob-filled period before trust is built up.

If there is no change in the behaviour, there are two choices:
1. break up your formerly happy family unit.
2. pretend it isn’t still happening.

See why they don’t want to know?

Now for those that DO want to know:

They have their reasons.

Usually, they are gathering justifications or evidence for an
impending divorce.
Sometimes (And I swear this actually happened), they want to know
when he is going to die, so they don’t lose all kinds of financial
ways in the divorce.

I actually advised one woman to hang on a bit, that a widow gets
it all, where in a divorce, the lawyers get it all.
Quote from witchypoo: “The only way you can lose here is if you
kill him your own self.” (or have him killed)

Plotting carefully the demise of one’s husband reminds me of my
dear friend, Skinny Bitch. She is a delight.