What's Wrong with Pornography?

Is pornography bad? If so could you please explain why it's bad and how it affects a person's life?

Answer:

Good question. Too often we just assume something is bad because everyone says it's bad, without thinking into the reasons.

Everyone knows that child pornography is bad because it's been demonstrated over and over that people who look at that stuff end up acting it out—and really destroy people's lives. That's beyond the unconscionably cruel exploitation of the children involved.

Other forms of pornography are harmful for a similarly oft-repeated reason: Pornography makes women into objects of desire rather than real people. We want to have relationships between person and person, not person-to-object.

But there's something much deeper than that in pornography, something that gets at the very core of being a man. A real man is someone who maintains control over himself. Animals can't do that—they just respond to their instincts. People are free in the sense that they can decide what is the right and proper thing to do.

But when someone is looking at pornography, he is actively undermining that inner strength of his, allowing himself to slip into being an animal. The eyes see, the hormones are triggered and the mind is washed away in a sea of biological tyranny. A grown human being becomes a slave of one tiny organ of his body. In his relationship with women, as well, he becomes enslaved in his passion for them—and a cinch for them to manipulate.

If you want to rise in life and become a whole and healthy human being, you need to maintain control of your mind. It's your mind, after all. And the first step in controlling your mind is to control your eyes. Keep them from staring at that which doesn't belong to you.

Yeah, easy to write this, but ADHD exactly lack the inhibition you're talking about, which is a neuro-biological deficit. Does that make all ADHD animals?

Anonymous

July 10, 2014

Is "porn" out there or inside of us

An image, a painting of a nude person, male or female, isn't necessarily porn. Much great art concerns nude representations of both males and females. BUT, we are manipulated by the entertainment community, the advertising community and the religious community to perceive naked images in various ways. The human body, the human being is supposed to be G-ds greatest creation. Our consciousness regarding the beauty and sanctity of the human form has fallen very far from what it should be. PORN to one person isn't PORN to another. Many indigenous cultures wore little to no clothes, which other cultures found "degraded", and butchered them to convert them to another religion and way of life. It is a very complex issue and relates directly to the Serpent in Gan Edan and what occurred afterwards.

Eleazar Shlomo ben Yakov GoldmanGuanajuato, MEXICO

July 7, 2014

I view porn (not literally) this way. At the very least, the individuals in pornography are in a very sad and dysfunctional space in their lives spiritually. Viewing porn, you are using their spiritual dysfunction to find physical pleasure for yourself. At its worst, people (especially young women) are involved in porn as a result of mental and physical abuse. In many cases, even human trafficking is involved. In this scenario, you are deriving physical pleasure from the torment of others.

Another point: Do you think that it is spiritually and psychologically healthy to repeatedly imagine killing another human being? With porn you are selfishly focused on images that will bring you pleasure. Oftentimes the porn scenarios that will bring the most pleasure are morally and socially taboo. Why worry? You are not doing such things in reality? But to repeatedly find pleasure imaging what you find reprehensible in real life is spiritually, emotionally and psychologically destructive.

JohnColorado

February 19, 2014

Not a harmless vice...

Just like alcohol, gambling, cocaine, heroin, crack and many other vices porn is addictive.

I heard once..." it is a harmless vice, compared to drug addiction". False. If you think harmless is spending hours a day viewing porn is harmless, think of all the productive activities you could have engaged in during those hours of porn surfing. I am sure everyone has heard the phrase 'time is money", think of all the "money' you have thrown away that could have been invested in a much more productive activity.

Before the internet existed, It began with nudy pictures acquired through a friend, acquaintance or family member. Your brain likes it, it is visually stimulating, your hormones react, you derive pleasure, especially if you proceed to manually stimulate yourself. In no time you will be buying magazines, now you are spending some money.

Your next trip will be to the strip club with the 'boys (co-workers, friends, etc) Now you are spending real money (cover charge, etc). Continues...

Emmanuel

December 28, 2013

on the way out...

I have been watching porn for a long time now... I didn't realize this has been the major cause for low self-esteem. I remember myself before being addicted to porn - was lot confident and achieved quite a many things in life. My life has gone to stand-still and backwards with porn. I have made up my mind to finally quit this for better life.

Thank you for the article and the many who have written your experiences. I hope to come back here and write how my life has been away from porn in the coming days.

BenIndia

June 29, 2013

I quit porn cold-turkey 6 months ago. It was surprisingly easy. I think this has been a real positive; I didn't appreciate the negative impacts it was having on my life. Contributed to self-loathing, anxiety and depression and physical symptoms such as ED and being bored by real sex. I'd encourage people to quit.

AnonymousAustralia

June 20, 2013

Porn = bad

zaps your energy, concentration, time consuming, causes social anxiety as you are spending alot of time on your own with no motivation to go out and meet real girls.

wish i'd known this 10 years ago, I didn't realise porn was the cause. I just thought I was horny and too shy/fat to get a girlfriend.

chrisuk

June 19, 2013

The first step

I've been an avid porn user for ever since the internet was out to the publicI started developing problems E.D, social problems, thought cloudiness,chronic pain, energy loss...etcI came across an amazing community that has really helped me outWe call it "no fap"It contains many people who are facing the same struggle with fapping and pornPlease have a look at it i've been clean from porn for 170 days.Everyday is another battle but with the support of a fantastic community i'm able to control my urges and use that strength for important things in my lifeGood luck, men of honor!I'll see you on the battlefield of life.

Anonymous

April 18, 2013

Thank You

Wonderful and PRACTICAL advice from Rav Goldman!

xavierWashington DC

April 14, 2013

To "PORN ADDICT"

Maybe the following might help you:Realize that you've made the very 1st step....that you desire to change your behavior.1). Gather people around you to help support your desire to STOP watching porn, and ASK them to help you, remind you of your desire to change.2). It's probably not possible to stop completely immediately, but start cutting down the time you spend viewing "porn". Actually write out a plan and attempt to stick to it.3) Frequently ask G-d to help you, and acknowledge to G-d that you realize the problem and want to change. Do this verbally, out loud.4). If you don't have a gf or wife, try to find a partner that you can relate to, spend more time with, and focus more on the level of love and caring, which will help your energy move away from the sexual arena.5). Know that with your mind and will, you can change ANYTHING, especially with G-ds help.