Ten Top Reasons al-Maliki Skipped Meeting with Bush

As you have probably heard, Iraqi prime minister Nouri al-Maliki unexpectedly no-showed on a meeting with President Bush Wednesday night. Since Bush had flown all the way to Jordan to meet with al-Maliki, astute observers considered the last-minute cancellation a snub and demanded to know what happened.

Hadi Mizban

al-Maliki: Sorry, something came up.

This blog will never be considered an astute observer, but it has come up with ten suggestions for why al-Maliki couldn’t make it:

10. Was changing flight back to Iraq to pay with new credit card. Very, very, very rewarding.

9. Watching CNN International and lost track of time. Holy crap, outside the Green Zone, it’s a mess out there on the streets of Baghdad.

8. Stuck in line trying to buy a PS3.

7. Received e-mail photo from cleric Moqtada al-Sadr. He was doing that thing where he puts his chin down and looks up at you through his eyebrows. Pretty darn scary let me tell you.

6. Warriors’ game was on the tube. Has Don Nelson turned that team around or what?

5. Whoa, that was last night? Oh man, somebody’s appointment secretary is going to be standing on a box with a bag over his head.

4. Yet another embarrassing memo was leaked to the American press. This one wondered openly if Maliki is “either ignorant about how scruffy his beard looks, or does not have the capability to grow one.”

3. Was practicing keeping a straight face when White House officials said this “had nothing to do with political tensions in Iraq.” It’s a lot harder than you think.

2. Simply rejecting deadlines and strict timetables, which lead to unrealistic expectations.