My new favorite activity is giving a girl a dirty look and when she asks what my problem is, I say “I am just sad” when she asks why, I say “because you’re past your prime” #?rip motherfucker I’m sensitive to your demise.

Ireland Baldwin was entertaining when she was 17 turning 18, because for some reason everyone became quickly obsessed with watching her on social media…but no one got obsessed with giving her modeling jobs, something that should probably be as hurtful as your dad screaming at you on an nationally played answering machine message calling you a troll, or whatever he called her…

But at least the rain is on her side, that dark cloud in her soul isn’t memeories of young love with her surfer boyfriend, or her black angry molested lesbian girlfriend, or even her celebrity upbringing, living in her family shadow, or more importantly, with a Baldwin head, never quite establishing herself, even though she was working it hard for a while…

This dark cloud, is one that surprises her with rain, perfect for paparazzi pics, like the stars aligned…

As a pervert, I fucking love surprise showers and the nipples they bring…and for that…it should carry us into the weekend…let’s hope for some flash storms on tight t-shirts…

If anyone has ever been 17, they’ll know the girls they knew at 17, are already naturally enhanced, or as enhanced as their asses will ever be…

Not to mention, Kylie Jenner at 17, may have plastic surgery, and that’s ridiculous, bitch is at her fucking prime…

If she’s using butt enhancement cream, which she isn’t, she get paid millions to do this, and if any other 17 year olds are buying it…because Kylie Jenner endorsed it, these idiots are fucking doomed…cuz their booties have peaked…and no cream can save that..

That said, Kylie Jenner is going to be in Montreal for her 18th birthday…let’s turn that Kylie Jenner butt enhancement cream to Kylie Jenner anal sex porn for the internet…cuz she’ll be legal…and will pay more than Kylie Jenner butt enhancement cream…

Daria Werbowy is some 30 year old Polish born refugee who was taken in by Canada when she was 3, escaping rationed toilet paper and a life of working the traveling circus or sex trade, but rather chose a life of hockey, maple syrup, Avril Lavigne and Igloo building before being saved by the model industry for being tall and awesome and able to turn her back on Canada like it was Poland, to live the life of luxury that she’s living…and really, I think most people would do the same thing…turn your back on the place that saved you, with my TAX dollars, you unappreciative twat…go live your sugar baby life…doing photoshoots…getting naked and slutty…all because of my people…disgusting…but not overly disgusting that I wouldn’t want her to ride my face, but I would definitely, have a stern talking to her pussy before I dove in…it’s the Canada way to deal with conflict…

Do you ever wish that Lyme Disease was AIDS, or something more terminal and sexually transmitted…and I’m not talking airport talk…I’m talking Avril Lavigne being the fucking worst, embarrassing, 30 year old who thinks she’s a 14 year old mall rat skater from the 90s…who is married to what you’d assume is the single worst thing created in Canada….Nickelback…and although Avril is a girl, and cute enough that I don’t really wish anything too aggressive or violet upon, but her vagina, the one Nickelback pollutes, is a good murder weapon and if she was a martyr, and brought him down for the count, the world would be a better place and she would finally be the source of good…not evil…music…right…

In 2006 or 2007, I met Bronques from LastNightsParty….he was this nomadic character that traveled the world, going to all the hottest parties, taking some of the hottest pics at those parties, creating a brand of real life, documentary of these party girls, often times involving them posed, flashing, naked, being amazing…

He was a master director, would get girls who weren’t models posing, and looking amazing, and over the last 8 or 9 years I’ve run into him all over the place, I’ve seen girls I know naked on his WEBSITE – LastNightsParty.com …and today I got these pics in my email from his mailing list..and I was just like “OMG BOOOBS, I LOVE BOOBS”…

You see, posed photoshoots aren’t my thing, but real life snapshots of girls…showing off their bodies, of all shapes…is my jam…so follow LastNightsParty everywhere…he’s one of the originals…

Here is unappreciative, back pedaling, American Hating, but not American hating when America turned on her and she had to explain that she’s young, and has some learning to do, please don’t cancel her tour, she’s a cunt, she didn’t mean what she said, she just said it, because she didn’t know she was on camera, and after knowing she was on camera, had to spin it…

So based on who she is as a person, she probably wants to be wiping her ass with the flag…but instead she’ll just be cute about it…and I’ll support any booty shaking…

I just know that she’s on the Emily Ratajkowski school of girls who don’t look like typical playboy chicks getting naked to launch their careers…which is awesome…because 10 years ago..convincing girls to get naked for photoshoots required a lot of money….or a gay fashion editor that was non threatening and really convincing in his “this is for fashion”….

Now, the world is just filled with regular girls who would have never got naked…getting naked…and that is one step away from regular girls who would never get naked…doing porn…awesome.

Here’s Shay Mitchell, Canada’s own exported cunt who thinks she’s famous, because she is famous…

I like her subtle “OMG Look at these flowers’…side tit pic…that you know is a side tit pic, that she knows is a side tit pic, but that doesn’t want it to be an obvious side tit pic, because that would be slutty and despite being slutty, no one wants to come across as desperate slutty…even though when anyone is an actor, we’ve figured it out that girl is pretty much a hooker to begin with, so just post your tits already you ethnically ambiguous jerk.

American Idol Katharine McPhee who has since turned into some TV star I don’t really care about..but that probably wasn’t fucked by Simon Cowell literally, he was too deep in Seacrest, but possibly fucked by him figuratively, because he’s got a God complex and signs all these idiots to his label, so that any money they make, he makes his fair share on…smart business I guess…

Well, she’s gone onto TV, but more importantly, some of the most boring pool lesbianism you’ll see today…but also some of the best pool lesbianism you’ll see today…because I don’t know who you think you are, but I doubt someone who sees daily pool lesbianism…

Micaela Schaefer is a nobody and has no business having a calendar….unless you consider a girl with bolt on fake tits…you know the shitty plastic as fuck, what the fuck were you thinking in getting those terrifying things when you have options to get tits that aren’t bolt on…even if they are all the rage in your germin Berliner weird fetish sex clubs fueled by the same ideologies that created Nazis 75 years ago…

Anyway, you don’t know this fame whore, but she attends every red carpet in germany and gets naked, because naked gets noticed, and noticed feeds ego, and possibly finds you rich boyfriends, and possibly, a job…better than working bottle service, but even if you work bottle service…you’ll get bigger tips, cuz you’re the bolt on tits from the tabloids on the red carpet…

This is apparently from her Calendar shoot, which reminds you everyone can have a calendar…

In case you were wondering…Jennifer Lawrence looks better naked than in a bikini, or clothed….

You see there was a few years in Jenner Lawrence’s career where I just found her an irritating, overrated, scam of an “actress”, constantly playing an idiot in public, so that when she performed in movies, people would be like “Shit she’s good”…in comparison to her real life retard behavior…

I was like “she’s not even hot, she’s just big and bulky”…

THen she leaked the nudes, and boom, love happened…the weirdo awkward bitch making millions for selling out, while also starring in huge fucking Brad Cooper movies, was amazing nude..she was slutty enough to take nudes…and looked good nude…and I figured there is no way she didn’t leak them herself, in a way to maintain being a victim…

The world moves fast, no one cared a week after they happened, we see porn all day everyday, we don’t need Jennifer Lawrence nude, it’s not the 90s when nude celebs was a thing, because now nude neighbors and girls I went to school with, or who work at the bar nude is what we care about…

So seeing her in a bikini, looking average at best, reminds me…that she should be naked…not clothed…

Here’s a little Mariah Carey hanging out with Bieber..that is one of the creepier pictures because Mariah Carey must be 100 years old…and should be busy hanging out with her Billionaire boyfriends who she gets passed around between, becasue she’s crazy and medicated..making this one of the worst parties, you’d probably want to end in some kind of terrorist attack since you’ve got them all in the once place, but that instead probably ended in a terrorist attack on the people, in the form of shitty music

I am pretty excited about Kylie turning 18 in Montreal, because it poses an interesting opportunity to book her sex tape filming, when she’s as fresh as she can be, I am willing to do it for 5% of the 10s of millions of dollars it will make…

It is the sex tape we all need.

It is the sex tape that her family needs.

It is the family tradition, like winning Olympics…while being a bitch…if the Olympics were having pro athletes run train on you…