Pages

Monday, December 6, 2010

87) Teach children lessons - winning by fair means

"We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist." Queen Victoria (1819-1901).

Did Queen Victoria repeat one of Alexander's axioms? We do not know. What we do know is that Alexander ruled out the option of losing. Here is how he demonstrated his winning-belief. His Generals had failed , after repeated attempts, to capture a rather elusive territory. So he decided to lead them on their last charge. As the soldiers sailed to their target, they spotted a large number of enemy ships anchored at port. The large number of ships suggested that the opposition would be formidable. Fearing defeat, his soldiers pleaded with Alexander that they return home. He would have none of it. They disembarked at a secluded spot on the enemy shore. Then looking at the boats that they had just pushed under cover, Alexander ordered the soldiers to burn them. They were stunned. How would they go back? But no one dared disobey Alexander. In dismay and fear they burnt the boats. Looking into their faces drained of hope, Alexander promised them that they would return home in the enemy ships. To do that, they would have to fight for their lives to capture both ships and territory. They fought with unusual valor and won, to go back in the enemy ships.

We cannot but admire the winning attitude in Alexander. Some of us have the same drive. To win always. Winning is good if the means are fair. But winning at all costs casts doubts on our motives. Bending rules and compromising on ethics does our reputation no good. When we win unfairly, then winning is losing. The tragic part is that our children watch us scheme and plot the downfall of others, that they begin to adopt our ways. They will lie and not feel ashamed; cheat and not feel guilty; tread on other toes and shrug the incident away; and gloat. Unless we teach them to play fair they will celebrate pyrrhic victories and hollow triumphs.

The Author

Quotes on Parenting

"What gift has Providence bestowed on man that is so dear to him as his children?" Cicero.

"Dads don't need to be tall and broad-shouldered and handsome and clever.Love makes them so." Pam Brown.

"The best combination of parents consists of a father who is gentle beneath his firmness,and a mother who is firm beneath her gentleness." Sydney Harris.

Extracts from a Prayer of General MacArthur

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat; humble and gentle in victory. Build me a son who will know thee and know that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.Let him learn to stand up in a storm; here let him know compassion for those who fall. Let him master himself before he seeks to master other men. Let him reach into the future, yet never forget the past. Let him always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness; the open mind of true wisdom and the meekness of true strength. Then I his father willdare to whisper: 'I have not lived in vain'.

Extracts from Abraham Lincoln's letter to his son's teacher

He will have to learn that all men are not just; all men are not true. But teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend. Let him learn early that bullies are the easiest to lick. Teach him that it is far more honourable to fail, than to cheat. Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidder, but never put a price tag on his heart and soul. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself.

"On Bringing Up Children"

" Your children are not your children.They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.And it is your awesome responsibility to pass the torch of civilization to them.Teach them to think. To wonder. To dream. To meet triumph and disaster equally. Teach them the difference between flattery and praise. Teach them the joy of a sunset. The joy of sharing. The joy of discovering the unknown.More than anything else teach them to WALK TALL"-Khalil Gibran