Your Persuasion and Influence To-Do List

This is a list of behaviours for you to adopt that can help you become a person of persuasion and influence. Rather than tackling them all at once, pick one or two to begin with and focus on them for a week or so until you’ve embedded the action into your behaviour.

You might also text yourself an occasional reminder, enlist a friend’s support, or even tape your list to your bathroom mirror so you can look at it every morning and night as you brush your teeth.

Show up on time. While some people use the waiting game as a power play, keep this careful thought: Unless you’re the bride (who’s allowed to keep people waiting for a few minutes), show up on time, prepared and ready to go.

Dress the part. Like actors at work, look the part you’re playing. Determine what attire is appropriate for the image you want to portray and dress accordingly.

Treat others with respect. When you show that you value others, their opinion of you rises, increasing your level of influence and your ability to persuade.

Demonstrate a genuine interest in people and projects. People like feeling special, valued and appreciated. If you show your interest in them, they feel good about you. And when people feel good about you, they’re prepared to do what you ask of them.

Aim to lessen the other’s load. If you can help someone, do. The person remembers you with positive feelings long after the action. As they says, ‘People may not remember what you said or what you did, but they always remember how you made them feel.’

Be generous in your words and actions. Speak well of people and behave with kindness. Acting with negativity tarnishes your reputation. People figure that if you’re saying something bad about one person now, nothing can stop you from speaking negatively about them in the future. Avoid judging and gossiping. Negativity comes back to bite you when you least expect it.

Think about your words and actions. Determine which behaviours can get you to your goals and which are likely to keep you from achieving them.

Envision the end point. Include as much practical detail as you can in order to energise you and keep you going. When the going gets tough, when you meet set-backs and resistance, having a clear vision of what you’re aiming for helps keep you on track.

Make sure your arguments and point of view meet the other person’s needs. People are willing to go along with you as long as they feel responsible for their actions, and not because you manipulated, coerced or bullied them.