Flashback to 1969. I'm a student at U of Wisconsin, long-haired, hippyish, etc. Most everyone has a dog. I see a friend of mine wandering down Mifflin Street in his usual haze. He has a dog with him, not on a leash. The dog is wearing a bandana.

I ask "Hey Freddie! Zat your dog? Nice dog, man."

"No, man, he's his own dog, but he hangs with me. People shouldn't own dogs, man, dogs are, like, autonomous."

Dude became an accountant. His children, proving their autonomy, grew up rebellious and undisciplined.

I've always had at least one dog. Dogs are great, and better people than most people, I think.

We were watching this latest Dana Gould stand-up when he said, something like "I believe in dog heaven. People heaven I'm not sure about, but of course there's a dog heaven! What's wrong with you? Where were you raised?"

He went on to describe dog heaven, with the doggie treats raining from the sky and the cats popping out at regular intervals.

Remember to file your IRS returns as necessary or the extension with the money owed or more. And no, the field trips to Chez Meade are not a business expense; unless, they were done for researching a Paper on the legal status of comity for Ohio Marriage Proposals recognized in Wisconsin. Are these only available only to Wisconsin residents named Ann?

My beloved mother-in-law has become quite aged, but still lives in her home with her dog, an oversized golden lab.

Gracie (mother-in-law) says that all she wants for Christmas is a Clapper so she can clap off the bedroom lamp and not get our of bed turn it off. Not my idea of a nice gift, but it's what she wants, so we buy her one.

Day after Christmas I go to her house, install the Clapper in her bedroom and try it out. Works like a charm.

That night she gets in bed, reads for a while and then claps to turn off the light. Her dog (Nicky) interprets the clap as "please bark." Nicky gives one sharp bark, the lights go back on.

Gracie claps, the lights go off for a moment; Nicky barks, the lights go back on. This continues for about fifteen minutes, then Gracie decides to sleep with the lights on.

In the middle of the night Nicky hears a siren and begins to bark. Lights on lights off lights on lights off.......

Gracie calls my wife the next morning. After we stop laughing we go to a hardware store, buy a lamp cord that has a line switch, re-wire Gracie's lamp and using a little velcro, place the line switch on her nightstand.

Gracie has been dead ten years now, and not a Christmas has passed without someone re-telling the story, and all of us laughing as though we were hearing it for the first time.

We got Nicky after Gracie died, and that dog had six great years with us before succumbing to old age.

Dying pets for Easter is in the best Christian tradition, especially young fowl.

For when Jesus was crucified on the cross, was interred inside a tomb, and then risen from that closed tomb on the following Sunday, he appeared among his followers and the faithful tarrying on Earth for some forty days before his last appearance whereupon he was not seen again and it is understood that he ascended to heaven.

These appearances startled his followers for they did not at first recognize him. He left different messages with different sets of followers, appearing at first to the principal women and to the apostolic corps of woman that was separate from the men before appearing to the male apostles who were scattered, disoriented and filled with fear and apprehension and confusion as to their future, but it might be important to know that of the first seven appearances of Jesus after his resurrection Mary of the Magdalene was witness to five. Among many other things, he said to them before his Ascension:

"Be ye not afraid for I am with you, and when I am gone to the Father I leave with you the Spirit of Truth which shall be spread across the world and which is a very real thing that you will feel within you. Blessed are you for you have seen me first hand and know of me and of my work on Earth, but blessed are the multitude of generations to come who have known me not and yet through faith believe in me.

Taketh upon yourselves to go to the ends of the Earth and spread the good news of the gospel, that the Father loves you and holds a place for you in his kingdom.

Take your pets, the young ones, the pale along with the mild and the meek, and dye them in joyous colors. Try to stick with pastels because it wouldn't do to be garish about a Spring celebration of renewed life. Do this in remembrance of me.

Fear not for I am your lord and I have spent this time with you on Earth, and I am with you always."

With that, he faded from their sight and they were greatly moved and wept. Then, as if a wind had blown through their ears from one to the other, each with their own ears, and leaving something changed within them with the passing, they felt a new presence among them and were greatly comforted. <--- possibly 15% made up.

The dying of Easter Dogs is an age old tradition. It dates back to the first Christian Roman Emperor. The reason dogs were dyed is because rhardinious had killed all the chickens through the use of Dobermaneous Pincererious. Since there were no chickens to lay eggs; the sighn of new life, the Emperor decided that man’s best friend should be dyed for the Easter holiday. This started an ages long tradition, until the Easter Bunny showed up. It appears that the dyed dogs had an irrational urge to eat bunnies. Since rhhardinious had died and the chicken population had risen to the point of making egg production viable, dogs were no longer considered an Easter tradition. Thus came the dyed Easter egg. The Easter Bunny was eternally grateful too.

Several years ago I emailed this old cartoon to friend who forwarded it to his father who was quite old. My friend told me his father printed it and kept it folded in his shirt pocket and showed it to people until he died within a few years. Since then, I've seen several versions.