Parents who are on government assistance and continue to have children!

Cassie - posted on 01/26/2010
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I have a friend who has two children and is on government assistance (medical, food stamps, etc..) She is married and her husband makes about 15 dollars an hour. She is always talking about how poor they are. They continually get hand outs from local business and churches for christmas presents and school clothes etc. She is a good mother and her children are good kids. The other day she told me that her and her husband are planning on having another baby and she asked what I think. I told her that I thought it was a very selfish and stupid decision. She was appalled at what I said and she will not talk to me. I have sent her e-mails trying to explain that it is not fair to people like my husband and I who do not make that much money, but we have enough to pay our bills provide everything for our son and have a little left over to do fun things with. Her and people like her are literally taking money from me and my family because they can't pay for their kids themselves. I for one am tired of barely sliding by because I have to pay for all of these parents who can't pay for their children and continue to have more. Opinions please.

Lmao - you damn well better believe that I'm concerned about some baby mama cranking out brat after brat living off my dime!

EVERYONE is entitled to help when they need it.

CREATING THE NEED for assistance by having baby after baby and living beyond your means is MORONIC and to me says that woman needs to be forcibly sterilised.

HOW in gods name can she provide for all these kids living on welfare? All she is doing is breeding up more welfare brats. More ill educated, system scamming "citizens".

I've used welfare. I was a SAHM, hubby lost his job and you better believe we applied. And when he got a job - we got off. We found a way to live on his income and I GOT A JOB. I put my babies in daycare got up off my ass and GOT A JOB. We got out of debt and I quit my job. THEN we had a baby.

I'm not making any judgements on a situation I know nothing about. I do believe in being honest w/ people (especially a friend), but to flat out call your friend stupid and selfish? Yeah, I wouldn't be contacting you anymore either. There is a thing called tact and while you may not agree w/ her decision... which is more important? Being right or being a friend.

OK people, I have an issue with this "who are you to judge her" thing. Her friend asked the question. She ASKED to be judged. I am sure she didn't expect to be judged so harshly and I totally agree that the OP could have been more tactful in her response, but the ONLY reason she even gave her opinion and judgement in the first place is because her friend asked. If you ask someone for an opinion, you have to expect to be given an opinion.

i think governemnt asst can be a very good thing but it can also be abused and took advantage of. I find it hard to believe he makes 15 dollars because you have to be below a certain income to even recieve asst. I dont think we are in a place where we can judge what others do because we just dont know the whole story. Bills can be stressful and sometimes it looks like others get stuff handed to them while we struggle, but theyre lifes are far from glamerous if they need asst then they are most likely worst off then you

I had a "best friend" like this. For the first two years of her child's life she + her daughter had everything you can get from HRA including; WIC, Food Stamps, Section 8, Medicaid or it's equivalent, all while receiving a car from her parents which stayed under her parents name as well as money. Her parents are millionaires. Now that she is Ms.High + Mighty she has forgotten where she comes from + talks constant gaga about unfortunate people who are in situations who really need help. She looks down on people who are really in need, who are not; "Anglo", immigrants, + those whom are non Catholic. She thinks she is religious; in actuality she has become downright indignant, racist, classist, obnoxious, + hypocritical. Now she lives in a house partially owned by her parents on beachfront property complete w/a garden, matching parental abode + various amenities. She seems to forget where she came from, + that she herself is half Latin whether she wants to admit it or not, as Latino/Hispanic peoples are often the target of her misinformed blathering. I will continue to pray for my ex friend; I don't want to continue to be in her company or in the company of her immediate family, or like-minded people. Your friend is apparently playing the system to the utmost, asked for your opinion, + did not like it when you called her on it. Your only option may be to pray for her. There are people in your life that eventually, due to their lifestyles, negativity, etc., that you need to break free off...........esp. if you have children.

Every child is a blessing regardless of the circumstances they happen to be born into. I would be upset with you too. Why can't she have her dream? You never know when her luck will change and she'll be paying for others who need help. You never know when you'll need help either. At least she is taking care of her kids, I know plenty of parents, being a teacher, who have money but don't spend anytime with their kids. I'd rather be poor and spend quality time with my daughter than rich and work all the time so she has everything.

I agree, Shawnte. This was my point exactly about electing some fiscally responsible legislators to change the system, so it isn't so easy to lie and be a drain on our taxpayers. The government policy on "entitlements" encourages dependency rather than helping people get on their own feet.

I have read some pretty rude comments. But Nobody has even began to lay blame on the government at all. U would think that they would not just be handing out money and make stricter guidelines so as to stop people from taking advantage of the system. I pay my taxes as well and I"d like to keep my money in house but at the same time I blame the government because they should make it so everlasting hard 2 get on assistance anyway. It's so esay to walk in lie and take what you need. Don't just look at all the people taking advantage but look at the bigger picture here. By now the coverment should be smarter than that.For instance, where I live if you have children and are on assistance, after 3 months of you not having a job they make you take classes and make you look for a job. You can't just sit on assistance and do nothing. If you fail to comply your benefits will be revoked. I agree that people shouldn't continue 2 have children on PURPOSE to receive benefits but it's not just them to blame. The government has to take some of the blame as well for doing a piss poor ass job of handling our money and establishing who is elgible for what.

I think that its rediculous that these women keep having babies for us taxpayers to take care of. My niece has 5 children and will not work anywhere but, as soon as the baby is born will go right to Social Services to add the baby. Instead of going to Social Service she need to go put in a job application. They should stop these women from having kids.

You all act like people who get state aid are so irresponsible and selfish. I've worked with family's that have received state aid and let me tell you these people are far from selfish or even satisfied with their lives! In most states in order to even get cash assistance you and your significant other have to put in volunteer hours. Most states require 40 hrs a week from head of household and 30 hours a week for the significant other, and the amount of cash given is about 270/month for a family of 4, it's hardly enough to survive on! So most people who get cash assistance are WORKING for the little bit of money they do get from the government. As for foodstamps and medicare atleast the government is offering something to keep these children from going hungry. Not everyone is brought up with the drive to educate themselves, or work steadily at a decent job, they learn that as they go, it doesn't mean they deserve to be a parent any less than the rest of us. Anyone is capable of being a good parent, regardless of their finances.

i really hope that the ones complaining when people actually work but still need a little assistance ,and decide to have more children, aren't taking the child tax credit and still having more children. heaven forbid! why would u use my money like that?

i completely understand being angry about people having more children when they are not working, and on assistance, but people like me pay taxes too. i work part time, my husband works full time, we are frugal, we don't have fancy cars, or a fabulous house, we don't see each other so we don't have to have a babysitter (we work opposite of each other), and i get so frustrated that anybody would think that i am lazy or irresponsible.

I am the mother of 5. my husband left for a 25 year old with 2 kids and married herself. than on top of that left me with all the bills. I have fybro but still went got a job and trying to raise 5 of them on my own. he got kicked out the military becasue they were all active duty. Took him to court for the money and still not getting it. I did not have a choose but to go on assitance for now. but rest assured not having anymore kids. and I am trying to get off. But it does make me mad becasue it was hard for me to even get it. and than people like your friend have it and abuse it. I am sorry I would be upset too. i am glad it is out there. but really it was so hard for me to get it. i cant imgion.

It really depends on if they are actually trying to get out of their situation or not in my opinion. I get some government assistance myself because I recently was diagnosed with a seizure disorder and can have temporary loss of memory and other nasty side effects after the seizure takes place that make it impossible for me to hold a job right now. But I'm still getting back into school to improve my options when I'm better. If she's been on it for years and doesn't attempt to change I don't think its right. But sometimes you get a bad time in your life.

Thank you, I have an issue with this as well. My husband and I struggle to, but we make to much to get assistance, and for financial reason we have chosen not to have another child right now. It amazes me that many people not all but many that do use assistance, continue to have children. I think that honesty is the best policy, she asked for your opinion. I honestly do get tired of paying for that as well, but if people that make more than $23000 a year per family can't get any help if they needed it!

My Opinion on this matter is split.. I am a mother of two who at a young age had 2 daughters that I would give my life for but their father on the other hand is a sorry excuse for a human being. So i am on state assistance. I am in school and currently unemployed, But even while I was I had been working full time. I had hard ships where even with government assistance I wasn't making ends meet. I was going to food pantries just so I could have enough to make the girls a decent meal. In spite of the fact I got assistance my food share was only $130.00 a month and I received daycare assistance in which I still had a co-payment of 79 dollars a week and I was making only $11.00 and hour and I also had rent and heating costs to pay. If this women isn't working maybe she should attempt to find work and that would fix her situation. She most likely receives a larger amount of assistance due to the fact that her not working and her husband being the only breadwinner her household size is larger. But there are so many people in the world that know how to take advantage of the system.. They will only work minimum hours because they will lose their benefits. The system is whats fucked up. They don' have any way that they are encouraging these people to make their life situations better.

But if you think about it, regardless of how many kids your friend has its not going to stop the rest of the world, and now matter what the taxes you pay are not going to change. With or without her decision to have more children. At least she has a husband trying to take care of her and she is a good mother, most of the people getting state benefits are low lives. People who are addicted to drugs and revolve thier lives around getting that check every month. At least she is not one of them trying to have a another child..

This woman could from Cassie's description of her lifestyle make ends meet without the assistance if she exercised a little frugality. But she flippantly acts as if it is somebody else's responsibility to take care of her and her family. She won't learn to be wise with money if it's handed to her like it is. Is it "compassionate" to encourage somebody just continue on in cocky irresponsibility, even if our government makes it possible and in some ways even encourages it? I don't think so. We don't need a nation of 13-year-olds with all the privileges and none of the responsibility.

I agree,If ur on assistance from the government then u can't afford to have children and u shouldn't.Why should all the working people have to pay for ur kids when there are so many people out there who could really use the money to survive on instead of reproducing more off spring who will then be on asistance because their mother doesn't work.

Don't we have children to give them everything we can?

Its a bad example for a mother to continually produce children and continue to live on the pension.They shoould be cut off and she needs to work like most other people.

Yes your right there however your friend won't change the way it is. The government departments allow and encourage this. It is easier to continue to have children as the more children the more money they get. Your husband doesn't get a pay rise if you have another baby. We or our governments are creating a monster and it needs to be stopped. We have generations of people that have never worked and just live off our....system. It should be impossible. I believe there should be food vouchers, rent, second hand clothes and no more. If they want to have better they must work for it just as we have.

I really don't think it's irresponsible for someone to have a child while they are recieving government assistance. Sometimes things just happen. Not to mention a lot of people like to have ther children in a certain time frame of each other, if she waited til she was fully financially stable, she might miss out on having another child, and it's not really fair for her to have to put her life on hold either. I understand that a lot of people do take advantage of the government, I'm not saying that, but I think most people take too much offense to the fact that others are on government aid. Life happens and sometimes we're not fully prepared for it, but that doesn't mean that you stop living.

I know what you mean. My brother-in-law got his girlfriend pregnant, and they were going to run out and get married as soon as she found out she was pregnant. But then decided not to get married just yet, so she could mark down that she is a single mother (even though she is living WITH HIM, works 2 days a week but is honestly too lazy to work more, is on maternity leave, as of the middle of January (baby is due in March) for no medical reason, other than she is too lazy to work) so she can get everything paid for. WHAT THE HECK?!?!?! I have a part-time job, my husband works full time, and we got slammed with medical bills even though we have insurance. Now how fair is that?!?!? My brother-in-law says, he is just getting what is owed to him. HA HA HA. He doesn't do anything that deserves a 'what is owed to him'. Nor does his girlfriend. So now we are somewhat strapped for money because of these medical bills, yet she gets it all paid for. I told my husband if we have more kids, I'm going to divorce him, and then we can get married again after the baby is born so we get everything paid for. (Only kidding about that divorce part.)

It sucks and is all unfair but what can you really do? People know how to play the system out there and sell their sad story. Doesn't make it right either. But with your situation, you can't tell people not to have kids, and you certainly can't have the government tell people not to either because that would be impeding on someone's rights. I don't agree with the wrong people getting government funding or help, but the people who really need it, deserve to get it, and sometimes can't get it. Doesn't make it fair to them. It's the people who take advantage of the help that mess it up for those who need it. Just like anything out there in life.

Wow. That was really cruel of you. Is she really your friend or do you only consider people with savings accounts your friend? I think you posted this hoping for people to tell you that you are right but no, no I don't think so.

Cassie Cassie Cassie! wrong thing to say. Our conversations with our friends and neighbors must be with more compassion. Now is not the time for us to kill off friendly and neighborly relationships because all families are subject to America's troubles, and we never know when we may need to go knocking. Maybe you can ask her for her forgiveness for your choice of words and salvage a friendship. Opinions are only meant to be just that, opinions, They are not to be persuasive. You have a nice looking family there, so go ahead and shine like the picture of the loving and caring family you have posted for the world to see.

Thank you for this post, many ppl think WIC or every help available are free, forgeting tax payers blood and sweat money, and when I said something the other day about a 16year old and pregnant, those nuts tot that I was very offending, what kind of society is this, trying to bankrupt the country constently with their stupid actions instead of improving themselves keep getting pregnant and create a sosial illness to the community. you should forward this article to her, even poor uneducated Chinese know what they should do to prevent poverty. HONG KONG — More than 13 million abortions are performed each year in China, according to statistics disclosed by Chinese health officials on Thursday, a marked increase from 2003, the most recent statistics available.

I met a mother next to my home, she has 6 kids and she is pretending to be a single mom and got help, and when I ask who is this guy coming to their house, the kids will say we not suppose to tell but he is our father! just like that

I absolutely agree with you, your friend really shouldn't be planning for another child, and on $15 an hour they shouldn't be so reliant on government and charity assistance. However, there are more tactful ways of saying this than calling her selfish and stupid. Maybe if you hadn't resorted to being rude you could have made your point, got her thinking about whether her baby plans were sensible, and kept a friend.

I also do not believe he makes $15 an hour because I am a single mom of one kid and I waitress and pay all my bill completely on my own but they give me the minimum for food stamps, which barely gets me food. I also have WIC which thankfully provides formula for my young son. I do agree that it's ridiculous that women who can't afford anything keep having children. I had to get presents for Christmas from the Salvation Army and was so disappointed that I have been doing my best to make sure that I am off all this government assistance by Christmas this year. These people need to be cut off.

I don't think people should keep having kids JUST to get the assistance, but if people are working and trying to make a good life it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Guess what? No matter what we are all going to have to pay taxes. I'd rather it go to families in need then some of the other crap we pay taxes for. For all the people that keep complaining that your taxes are going to "those people" I don't hear any of you complaining when you get it all back PLUS some at the end of the year!

Monique, I've always heard the quote as "if you wait until you can AFFORD them, you may never have children" not until you're financially stable. There is a difference. Our lifestyle has a way of keeping up with our income making our perceptions of what we can AFFORD quite different from what we can actually do on a stable income with a few sacrifices.

My mother in law even cusses us for not going out to eat all the time and such. But we are saving for a home, a better car instead of our ancient clunker, and trying to better ourselves.

Yet I know someone who has 6 kids, is currently on husband number 3, and hasn't worked since before the first was born. She doesn't try to better herself. Instead, she wants to keep going until she has one more girl. that kind of abuse is what should stop.

Here is what my mother once told me. She is 50 years old and has paid a lot of tax just like many others. Anyway, her comment to me one day was "if you wait until your financially stable, you may never have children". And this is coming from a woman who already helps her daughter (my sister) who has two children and were getting government assistane when they chose to have the second. Furthermore, a lot of people can be financially stable before they decide to have a family, but you can't see into the future when it comes to things like redundancy, or recessions.

My partner and I have a 4 month old boy and when we got pregnant, we were both employed. Now neither of us have a job, and we have decided that it wouldn't be a good idea to have another child in our current situation. However, even if my partner was working full time, we would still need government assistance. Therefore should I put my child into daycare to be looked after by strangers so that I can also work full time and not need government assistance?

I think this is something that we'll just have to agree to disagree on.

When our son was born, my husband was in school to earn an electricians degree and I worked 40-60 hours a week. We had our own insurance, but very little to spend otherwise. We had everything our son needed, but not much left for fun things.

Then my insurance company dropped me until I could come up with $1400. I had 2 weeks to come up with it.We couldn't. I was six months pregnant with no insurance and my husband's wouldn't cover me (preexisting condition). I ended up on the pregnancy medicaid. But I had complications with labor and delivery, and with the end stages of my pregnancy, and both me and my son nearly died.

Now, I stay home with my son. I work as a freelance writer and am uninsured. My son has medicaid. My husband works 36-48 hours a week, depending on the week and if he gets overtime, etc. He has dental and vision insurance on us all three, but the medical insurance is just out of our price range. What his workplace offers is more than the rent on the townhouse for our family! We get just over $100 in food stamps to help out.

We are having a meeting next week with a couple who sells insurance to see if we can find a family plan we can afford - then our son is off medicaid. As for the food stamps, it's not much, but we budget and know how to shop and it goes a long way. We get WIC for him, and that helps. But we don't do fancy parties, we don't go out to eat (we will on our anniversary, but that's it), we don't have fancy clothes or cars. We have a small townhouse and in my area that's a good rent price (less than $500). And we aren't planning more little ones unless we have the money to easily care for them. I have the mirena to make sure of it.

I lost my job because I couldn't work fast enough for them since I was pregnant, and since I had problems and had to stop working the 3 weeks before I had my son, I ended up without a job. But I work online as a writer, so it's not like I'm not doing anything.

What gets me is the fact that even though we take the bare minimum we need, have both worked for years, my husband's family sees nothing wrong with cussing me out because i am able to work from home, instead of outside and putting our son in daycare. Cussing me for us having medicaid for him (at least he has medical coverage!) or for him being on WIC even. My mother in law has actually told me that I'm a horrible mother because I am not planning on having another child and because we get WIC.

I don't think it should be taken advantage of, but I certainly appreciate it being there for us when we've needed it. But the sooner we're off the better.

Bravo, Cassie! It appears to me that this woman flaunts her abuse of the system, believes she is ENTITLED to whatever she can weasel out of anybody, and doesn't even connect the addition of another child to the need for more money. Many who need assistance can't get it. Many who get it, abuse it. Many on it have no idea how to budget. Instant gratification seems to be a norm. (I know a woman who flippantly said she only had $20 when she needed $40 to pay a bill, so she was going to spend it on herself because it wasn't enough to pay the bill anyway.- she is on disability because she's ADHD - ha!) The system needs to be revamped and that won't happen until/unless we elect some fiscally responsible government leaders instead of the tax and spend crew we have right now. You can only take so much from the "rich" (in this case anyone who works) before they have nothing left to take. And then where will any of us be?

Hi...Cassie, I want you to know that I understand how you feel but, I also understand your friends point of view. I got pregnant right after I got married. My daughter was not planned but still we considered her a blessing. My husband and I originally started up our own business and but things didn't go well and work was slow. My daughter was 5 weeks early and spent a month in the ICU. My husband and I both for the last two years have been looking for work but have been unsuccessful. He has now decided to go back to school to increase his chances of finding a better job. If it hadn't been for Government assistance these last two years I don't know where we would be. also, I'm not sure how it works in other states but here, if you are not pregnant you can not recieve medical aid. The children can but not the mother, I know several people that think its better to have more children just so that they can stay on health care. I'm not saying it's right, (bc I can't imagine bringing another child into an already unsteady situation) but I can definetally see how someone might feel like it is thier only way. Especially if your friend has been on the bottom for a long time, she may feel like she doesn't have a choice. That things are better the way they are.

If people waited to have children than many wouldn't be born. My first 3 were born while my husband worked full time and I went to school. Medicaid paid for each one. We were on WIC but not food stamps until my husband had to take a pay cut. After he graduated from college he got a great job and we didn't need it anymore. It was fantastic. We had another child. Now we are done having kids. But my husband got laid off like so many others and we are back on food stamps because unemployment didn't have enough. He's got a job again but it is half of what he was making before. There are more tactful ways of saying that she is stupid. Like maybe saying, " You complain a lot about all of your bills, wouldn't another child add to that?" or something like that. It would at least make her think without coming out and calling her selfish and stupid.

Everyone stop judging...we're only hearing one side and don't even know all the details of this woman's friend.

Yes, it's wrong to take advantage of the system and stay on foodstamps, WIC etc... but there are people out there who are LEGITIMATELY working to make a living but still need government assistance. Just because other people take advantage don't put everyone in that category.

So this is where my tax money is really going! Thats wonderful. Personally, if shes relying on not only governemnt assistance but handouts from churches and businesses then I think that she has no business having another child that somebody ELSE is gonna have to support. Seriously thats ridiculous. My daugher & I barely get by and we only rely on the governement for her medicaid (apparantly mothers dont need to be covered along with their children) and WIC. I dont get any handouts from anybody, I work 2 jobs to support her. I work 2 jobs so I dont have to rely on the governement for more than I have to!! Hearing stories like that reallly boils my blood!! Just like going in to the WIC office (Specifacally the Magnolia WIC in Houston!)

Hi Amanda, I too live in Texas and I feel your pain. I work commission and my husband works two jobs, but we don't qualify because we work, but if we didn't work, we are told to get a job or sell our car in this stupid state. This state has no public transportation and you want me to sell my car!!! ay NO...Where do you live in Texas?

My husband and I work hard for our money. When one is struggling and working hard and paying taxes, then I believe the government shoudl be willing to help those out who work hard. This issue hits hard to me since my husband and I were both in the military and we didn't qualify for government assistance then either, do me its all about something else, which I won't say. But the government is wrong for helping those who don't want to work for a long time and should help those who are trying to take care of their family like they are suppose to, but just shut us done.

My husband and I qualified to recieve food stamps while he was in the military and lived on base. It made a huge difference for us and our 4 sons. That makes "government assistance" an interesting phrase.

I do think you could have phrased it differently, but maybe you always speak your mind or you had a bad day.

I'm glad I had our kids when I did as now I am on medication that would make that a bad idea. Hubby's out of the military now and has a good job. We are blessed.

I am with you %100 !!!! Dammit I hate people popping children left and right like there is no tomorrow!! That is why our resources will be done away with!!!! Good reply you gave her, if she doesn't want to talk to you??? Better yet, you don't need an ignorant person in your life anyways!!! :)

I have to find that hard to believe that her husband makes $15 an hour and qualifies. My husband is working two job, one at $10 and one $9.47 per hour. We had food stamps before, but because my husband works two jobs, we are able to provide food to our kids according to the government. I have to beg different. I work on Commission helping families become debt free and financially independent. I don't qualify and was told to go and get a "REAL J-O-B (just over broke)" Lets put it this way, most of myhusbands pay pays for our rent and one bill, that is it, but yet I can't put food on the table for my kids (2). I have two and it is very different.

Back in July of this year my husband lost his job. We found ourselves on welfare but as soon as he did get a job we were cut off. Mind you his new job was minimum wage. It frustrates me because other people I know lives off welfare and we had a child with medical problems and couldn't get help because my husband took whatever job he could get. I really don't agree with people abusing the system but the system is as much to blame because they allow it. But putting your friend down for it won't fix the problem,yes it's frustrating but is it worth losing the friendship?

I agree. I had a friend that had 5 kids all under the age of 5 and was talking about having more. Her nor her husband work. He draws unemployment and they get like 900 a month in food stamps and complete medical. It's one thing if you need it but when you are very capable of working that's wrong. My husband and I have 3 children and one on the way, but he works 15 hours a day and I'm currently in school for my nursing. We take care of our kids. Because of the simple fact that everything is handed to her they can take their money they get and blow it. She goes to churches and crap like that for diapers and it's just sickening. If you can't take care of them, don't have them. Sure there might be times you need a little help but that's different. but living off welfare when your completely capable is ridiculous!

Well for one everyone is saying it is wrong to have a child when you can't afford one, how about the ones that aren't planned in the least and are trying to prevent pregnancy but it happens anyway! You can't always choose when to have a baby. I was on birth control and took it religiously at the same exact time everyday! Well low and behold at the age of 20 I got pregnant. Before you all say well if you are responsible enough to have sex you are responsible enough to deal with the consequences, or say just don't have sex. Obviously that doesn't happen and or work. Why should the children suffer because the parents made irresponsible decisions. That is just like saying well the children in Haiti don't need toys and clothes because the earthquake happened. They had no control over the earthquake just like these children that are on the welfare system had a say so in being born. Now this family that you are talking about already has 2 kids so it is a bit ridiculous that they would want to bring another child into a situation where they obviously can't afford the life they already have going. My son is now 3 1/2 and I have been "wanting" another baby for years. But by doing the responsible thing and waiting until we are a little more financially stable my husband and I are waiting. A true parent doesn't do things for their own satisfaction! They do things for their children to have the best possible life! Now that doesn't mean buying them every toy they see and always giving in to every want. But rather to teach morals and discipline and raise them up to be contributing members in society! You don't have to be rich to have happy children. You have to be mature and willing to give up everything in order for your children to have anything!

i live in mass and back in the day people used to take advantage of assistance by having more kids...now they changed the rules, welfare will no give you money for your children unless they are 9yrd apart now because of people who abuse the system.... my friend had a baby 8 yrs apart from her son and welfare wouldn't give her anything for the new baby... Me i am currently on welfare and they are helping me with all my kids because they are nine years apart and i have twins so i get money for all of them, i did not plan to have twins it just happened all natural...So for people in the states that allow everyone to get assistance when they keep popping out kids isn't cool at all...some people really need it... why not wait to have more kids when you can afford it, like this economy isn't bad enough already....

Oh and I just want to add this re: medical assistance. I know that it despends onthe state, so it may be different for you.

On top of the Lyme disease, my dh is Type 1 diabetic since he was 13, and is on pump therapy.

When I was working PT and grossing $1000/mo- we made to much money to get his pump supplies, meter, test strips covered. We spent *days* calling the different medical co's to see if there was any assistance directly from them. He was able to get 1 free bottle of test strips (that would last 2, maybe 3 days if he stretched it) and 1 free set of pump supllies- he has to change his infusions every three days- so yeah, that is not much help either.

In desperation, we called back our medicaid office and was told if he needed insulin to go to the ER. The whole situaltion made me so angry.

I ended up getting my hours cut- and at $500/month we quialified for his diabetes care. My boss lives in Canada and could not understand why I was thrilled to have my salary cut.

It was sickening... all of it was just so incredibly stressful- and basically all we were looking for was a way to keep my husband *alive.*

Oh and I just want to add this re: medical assistance. I know that it despends onthe state, so it may be different for you.

On top of the Lyme disease, my dh is Type 1 diabetic since he was 13, and is on pump therapy.

When I was working PT and grossing $1000/mo- we made to much money to get his pump supplies, meter, test strips covered. We spent *days* calling the different medical co's to see if there was any assistance directly from them. He was able to get 1 free bottle of test strips (that would last 2, maybe 3 days if he stretched it) and 1 free set of pump supllies- he has to change his infusions every three days- so yeah, that is not much help either.

In desperation, we called back our medicaid office and was told if he needed insulin to go to the ER. The whole situaltion made me so angry.

I ended up getting my hours cut- and at $500/month we quialified for his diabetes care. My boss lives in Canada and could not understand why I was thrilled to have my salary cut.

It was sickening... all of it was just so incredibly stressful- and basically all we were looking for was a way to keep my husband *alive.*

I guess my problem is this, I live in Texas where there are more ilegal immigrants than natural citizens. I worked in a grocery store at a point and time, and you would see these women come in who are driving caddilacs, wearing diamonds and lots of them, and talking on the newest most expensive cell phones, with their nails perfectly manicured and their hair freshly colored and cut, and yet they are getting over a thousand dollars a month in food stamps for the ten kids they had to stay in this country. A) if you are not here legally you don't deserve food stamps or medicaid PERIOD. I don't care how many gateway kids you had. B) if you can afford the payment on that caddilac, and those diamonds, and the cell, and everything then buy some groceries and quit living off my tax money. It's people like this, as well as these people who continue to have children while they are on welfare that make it impossible or people who really need the assistance to get it

My husband is disabled, and has been out of work since 2006. Nov 2009, he was finally awarded SS Disability Benefits. My entire family has Late Stage Lyme disease, DH, me, and my 2 kids(11, 13).Because I am ill as well, I can only work PT. If it were not for gov't assistance (heating/medicaid/electricity, at $500/gross a month I did not qualify for food stamps), as well as my parents/IL's loaning me money- *and* racking up almost $30,000 in credit card debt (90% of that was medical), we would literally be on the streets.

Being on gov't assistance is no picnic, not was it easy for my dh and I to accept at first.

However, to say we lived on "bare bones" - my poor kids heard "we can't afford that" more times than I care to admit- is no exaggeration. I personally can't imagine wanting to bring another child into the world knowing full well that I could not provide the BEST for them.

I will most likely carry guilt ( I know- bad, bad bad..) for the rest of my life that we could not do what we wanted to for our kids, that we had to take almost every cent out of their college savings to pay the mortgage.

I wasn't there, so I can't say the nature of the exchange... but I have to agree with a lot of the others here- if she didn't want the truth, she shouldn't have asked. OTOH- many people on assistance have a lot of conflicting emotions-- and many times it isn't that we all have a hand out, nor do we want one.

I would give anything to have a healthy family, a decent salary and the ability to make ends meet on my own.