Hey sugarbabyThat's awesome that you husband is working on it. I know the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you can try to stay in a positive place with it though I think it will only encourage your H that much more. I see such a shift take place with my H when I am able to believe in him. Some days I suck at it but both of us benefit when I am able to be present to the good that's happening. I know that I feel better and even when the hard times return they aren't as quite as bad. Try to keep the good vibes going and on the days that you can't its okay.

If he's reading up on it and pushing himself as much as he can to get better, it will get better for the both of you. I know every survivor has a different level of ability and willingness to work on this, but if he's really trying to push forward, things should get better in time.

I don't know what he saw modeled by his parents as far as being a loving couple goes, but in my case I've had to reinvent what that means from scratch. My earliest memories of my Dad were of how "fat and ugly" (his words) my Mom was, how cute the woman at the bank down the street was, etc. While they kissed once in a while in front of us kids, I knew from my earliest days what a sham it was.

The point is, I grew up without a clue about what being in a happy relationship looked like, and your husband might be in the same boat. I know this sounds like it should be self-evident, especially if your parents were happy and showed it, but believe me, it can be harder than it should be for some.

I love my wife to death, but I have to go out of my way to show her that frequently (and sometimes I don't do it nearly as well as I should.) For me, this means making time, being there even if I'm tired, etc., being involved in things that matter to her, and so on. While most guys would do these things automatically, anyone who's watched his parents hate each other for however many years might be on a learning curve. All I can say is that my heart is with you and I hope things get better soon.

I
agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and
chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole
discretion of MaleSurvivor. I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor
resources are AT-WILL,
and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for
any reason by MaleSurvivor.