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I'm Javonne Crumby, creator of Lesbionyx-- A space for queer women of color. As a Black woman who loves women, I grew tired of the lack of representation and resources for women like me. So I created a platform for us and by us, because no one tells our stories like us!

A Space for Queer Women of Color

Jul 12

Jul 12 Rising Above Rejection: How to Rise Above our Biggest Setbacks

Rejection is a powerful emotion. It has the power to make you feel worthless, depressed and lonely. Yet, rejection also has the power to help you overcome obstacles. It can fuel you to accomplish anything you put your mind to. We all face rejection throughout our lives, but how you respond to rejection is a direct reflection of the strength in your mentality.

Rejection hurts us for many reasons. Psychologically, it feels painful. The sense of feeling unwanted and undervalued can have negative affects on the mind. These feelings can either be detrimental to our growth, or a catalyst to our achievements. The way rejection is dealt with separates the successful from the unsuccessful. An article at Psychology Today states: “Rejection piggybacks on physical pain pathways in the brain.” Research has concluded that emotional pain triggers the same areas of the brain that are triggered by physical pain. This research explains that physical pain hurts just as much as emotional pain. There are many ways to deal with rejection and its important to know that how you chose to deal with it will set you apart.

Rejection does not define you, it is crucial to react to rejection in a positive way. As humans, we need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance. Rejection will be a roadblock if you allow it. Without direct reflection, it is easy to see any rejection you face as a failure. Whether it be in love, in business or even friendships. Being rejected in love can easily feel like suffering. Have you ever been in love with someone, that didn’t love you the same way? Did you constantly show them how much you cared in an attempt to make them love you, but it wasn't reciprocated? If so, you know what rejection in love feels like. This didn’t mean you weren’t good enough, or unlovable. It simply meant that person wasn’t the right person for you. It is easy to internalize rejection and believe you aren’t good enough.

Here are some things to focus on when dealing with rejection:

Accept that it happened:

Recognize your defense mechanisms. It’s easy to write off rejection as anything else because of your own refusal to see it. The weak-minded are likely to dismiss that they were rejected. This displays a lack of confidence when dealing with your emotions. Being able to face things in life head-on strengthens your ability to deal with anything.

Don’t be hard on yourself:

Understand that rejection leads to growth, take this as a time to learn. Don’t tell yourself negative things because you or your ideas were rejected. Understand where the rejection is coming from and learn from the situation. Take that moment as a time to reflect on how you can be better. Then set goals and push yourself towards your fullest potential. Maybe the timing wasn’t right, maybe that’s not the right person for you, maybe your idea isn’t done being developed yet. Either way, view rejection as a positive.

Let it go and grow:

Remember when you are rejected in any way, there is nothing lost in the process. Let it go and grow. Realize you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. There is a lesson within all rejection, its up to you to search for it.

Have you ever faced a time when you had to rise above rejection? Let us know in the comments below, and be sure to share this article with anyone who needs a reminder that they can overcome rejection.