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Sometimes people take themselves way too seriously

I like to link to waiter oriented websites that I find funny or interesting. When I provide a link I write the proprietor of that website, tell them about the link, and ask of they would link to my site in return. Just a couple of bloggers trying to increase traffic at each others sites. It’s a “you scratch my back I scratch yours” kinda deal.

Loved your site and linked to it on mine – www.waiterrant.blogspot.com

Check my site out. IF you feel it has merit you may want to list it on your links page.

I hate my job

Waiter

Nice and simple right? Well here is the reply:

11/29/04—-ihatemyjob
replied

Dear waiter,

Thanks for the compliment. I mulled over how I could decline your invitation without sounding offensive, and my best bet is simply by telling you the truth.

Did you read my site? I had one horrible boss who was always masturbating to porn in his office, accidentally leaving his door open for me to see everything.

I read your site. Your references to porn, saving up images in your head for future sessions, etc., offended me and are exactly what I hate about being an attractive woman who works with men. Everyone who frequents my site knows this.

No offense. It is just the truth. You and everyone else can say whatever the heck you like on the Internet. It is your site. However, I won’t be linking to you unless you have some kind of emotional awakening about the harm caused by pornography to the male (and female) psyche. Not likely, I know, but drop me a line if that happens. And good luck finding another long-term romantic relationship. That is not a bitchy statement; I am being sincere.

Take care, waiter. I am sorry to not help another server, but my gut churned over this one. I just can’t do it.

-idespisemyjob

Oh boy. Someone’s running low on Prozac.

Jen, whatever opinions you have about pornography are yours and that’s ok. Mentioning, however, you are an attractive woman in your email makes me suspect you harbor an inflated opinion about your own appearance. Those secure in their self image don’t need to flaunt it.

You are a really pissed off chick. The crack about my love life was gratuitous and cruel. You not only despise your job – you probably despise yourself. Get some therapy or ask the doctor to increase the dosage. Hey – I’m just being sincere.

Hey if you like my site you like it. If you don’t you don’t. I will keep the link for idespisemyjob.com up. Why?

This looks exactly like a conversation I had recently with someone. He struck up with me and was so sleazy and insulting in his enthusiasm I considered dismissing myself by simply slapping the taste right out of his mouth and flouncing off. Instead I opted to firmly and honestly tell him that what he was saying to me was demeaning and insulting. and he called me a venomous cunt with no sense of humor.

Now, my options here were: allow him to demean me and giggle; allow him to demean me and coolly decline; take some slices of flesh out of his face; or honestly and firmly tell him that his approach was insulting. In short, I decided that it would be an affront to myself to do anything butto stand up for my value, and got called a cunt for it. I’m sorry sir, but I no longer giggle when a man who is not my grandfather or a good friend calls me cutie, *tells* me when and where I’ll be having coffee with him, and then imagines I’ll be delighted by the suggestion that I wrestle around with one of my gal pals in whipped cream for his enjoyment. Yes! The opportunity to please you in lurid way you fancy is what I live for, sir! I told him I found his suggesting offensive and demeaning, provided specifics, and said I absolutely would not go out with him. He called me a cunt and told me to get over myself.

I’m not saying you’re dead wrong here, but maybe reread that letter. The well wishes as far as your relationship status seems to me poorly framed (they read like a jab) and poorly timed (break ups are not the time to poorly frame something) but nonetheless genuine. —But that’s not the main point. Your beef is with her reasons for declining an association, not for her taking a poke at your wound.

My point is this simply this: she declined firmly, cited a value she could not respect herself if she compromised, and explained why she felt associating her blog (which she claims affirms that value) with your blog (which she claims denies that value). You called her a pissed off chick. Your readers called her an uptight cunt. It is unfortunate that her concern was that you, unwittingly or not, participate in activities that are degrading to women, and she failed to giggle or enigmatically decline and is instead upfront with you—and so she’s a ‘pissed off chick’ and an ‘uptight cunt.’ those are both barbs designed to demean and degrade women. Specifically.

It would seem I’m just as late to the game as you are, but I don’t think the waiter here has anything against women in general. This particular women just really got under his skin. Please don’t pretend like a man never got under your skin and you called him “sir” when referring to him or relating the story to your friends. The waiter just wanted this particular woman to stop talking for one minute and actually listen. By the way how dare you defend anyone who takes a jab at a person’s relationship status? To me that says that the original poster was lonely and wanted to make the waiter feel lonely too.

Anne: Have you even read ‘left overs’, the subject matter behind these letters? He liked what she had to say in her blog and asked if she could share his link because they had a common interest (shitty job experiences). She took a glance at “Left overs” and decided to pass.

And yes, I mean ‘glance.’

“Left Overs” talks about how it is human nature to check out the hottie that just walked by. It talks about how the average Joe (or Jane as in my case) beats himself up over the fact that he is not good enough for Mrs. Hot because society states that only the Creme de la Creme can have such handsome mates. He then goes on to state that such social behavior reek of idiocy because a)we all deserve to love and be loved and b) when we’re off beating ourselves up because we’re not good enough we miss the most precious of things before us.

He goes on to say that the beauty we value as a society is skin deep and fleeting. The bit in which he goes on to say that when we get older, we’ll realize how stupid that superficial want was as really, we won’t be spring chickens and all we really want is some one to be there to offer warmth (and comfort) on a cold, lonely night — looks be damned.

This woman, however, didn’t see any of that. She probably read the sentence in which Waiter states he and his buddy kind of oggled the hot chica, then left it at that.

I’m with Anne. This “pissed off chick” has (rather, had) her own website and she got to choose how she ran it. If she just said, “No, I won’t link to your website,” who knows, maybe you’d be calling her a cold bitch who refuses to explain her actions.

Nothing’s black and white. You can’t write her off as a self-absorbed cunt because you interpreted her saying “good luck” as a personal jab. I happen to be a woman who strongly disagrees with her views on pornography. But that doesn’t make her a bad person in my book.

I’m definitely even later to the party, but I just couldn’t help but point out several things in Anne’s post

First, she makes a couple of references to violent physical harm as a viable approach to resolving her perceived slight:

“simply slapping the taste right out of his mouth”, “take some slices of flesh out of his face”

Would a comment suggesting Waiter “punch some sense into her” or “smack that woman up” be accepted? What makes female to male violence acceptable or even comedic? What value did Anne think that added to her description of the situation other than to portray her disregard and contempt for the other person at both a mental and physical level.

I think what Anne and others like her are failing to see is that veiled within their “politically correct” talk are violent vindictive tendencies wrapped around Feminism and other noble causes which they abuse to mascarade and defend their positions.

And when someone points that out they get even angrier, who dare some level-headed person calls them out on their aggression.

Ahh yes. I am currently reading your kick-ass book, and enjoying it quite thoroughly! I’ve experienced many assholes (notice no quotes, as they ‘just are’) when I have waitressed in the past. For one, I believe America has become too..pussified.. I was a fucking waitress, not a server. I can completely relate to the church-trak-non-tipping-bastards. Don’t they know that Jesus or Buddah are watching? I believe that if you’re gonna order bacon, you better fucking bring it to the restaurant if you are going to partake! My own experience in the industry ended (technically) three 1/2 years ago…now I’m in an office. Wow, waiter, isn’t that the opposite of your wonderous travels?? Anyway, I thought that changing from food to paper that I would encounter less…assholes. Good fucking luck! Some bitch wins an award (c/s department), she’s not happy that ugly Pam got the balloon that she wanted…I hate their faces! I’m a 31 year old artistic type, and I’m a fucking secretary. Meanwhile, I LOVE your book…P.S. You ARE a brilliant writer-tell your college prof. to eat your ass, at “the Bistro.” Love and respect, Jenny V.

Esteban, I don’t think her remarks were meant to be offensive or justify anything, she was simply stating her interior monologue of how she was so offended by this pig’s comments, that her blood boiled over, and she was tempted with EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL’S inner nature which comes down to violence. The fact that we as humans abide in a civilized state with culture and laws, is what prevents her from partaking in any kind of urging, as fleeting as it may be.

Also, to the rest of you, I have been thinking even before this blog (as I’m reading them oldest to newest), that perhaps the reason his gf broke up with him (among many) is because of his comments on his blogs about picturing other women as sexual objects and saving their images for his porin fantasies. I’m pretty sure if I read my bf writing that stuff over and over, that yeah I probably wouldn’t want to stick around with someone like that. It’s human nature to be attracted to and check out other people, whether you’re single, attached, or married, but to phrase things so crassly IS disrespectful, to at least one woman, who felt the need to address why she felt that way. Just like he gets pissed off at customers, and starts running his mouth, why should it be any different if someone gives him back some attitude?

So…if a man is pissed off, he’s legitimately pissed off, but if a woman is pissed off, she just needs to get laid?

I really hope you’re a gay man, because it would be quite tragic if such a brilliant, superior male as yourself actually had to STOOP to having sexual congress with an intellectually lower life being such as a woman. After all, a woman can’t have one fucking opinion without it being linked to her physical need for a man, RIGHT? You fucking imbecile.