Oh, you didn’t notice that the Ewoks in “Return of the Jedi” didn’t have eyelids? Well, neither did I. And neither did the rest of the flipping world, but, something tells me those un-blinking Ewoks kept Lucas awake many a night for the past twenty-something years. How else to explain that and the rest of the completely ridiculous changes he’s made to the sci-fi classics? Oy, seriously, somebody get this man a hobby already…

Old School: in a set containing only the original three films and all the extras, New School: the Prequel Films only, with all the extras, or, you can go whole hog and get the Complete Collection of all six films in one big old boxed set for somewhere around $139.99. Hmmm…guess which one I have my eye on?

I think the only bad news for hard-core fans is that we’ll have to buy the full set of “Star Wars” movies…again! I mean, shit, if you count Videodisc, VHS widescreen and full-frame, Laserdisc and DVD, I’ve bought these same damn movies like, five times over. But, hey, who’s counting?

According to Jones, who also goes by his Jedi name, Morda Hehol, the Jedi doctrine explicitly states that a Jedi Knight “must wear a hood up in any public place of a large audience.” I don’t know how large the “audience” was at that grocery store, but Jones claims that Tesco security violated his “religious rights” by asking him to remove his hood.

Making matters even worse was the fact that a Muslim woman in a veil was allowed to shop freely while Jones was shown the door. “I walked past a Muslim lady in a veil…surely the same rules should apply to everyone” Jones griped later.

Still reeling from the experience, Jones is considering legal action, but in the meantime advises other UK Jedi to boycott Tesco stores, hoping to make the grocery chain “feel the Force“. OMG, so awesome!

But the real kicker here was the reaction from Tesco’s corporate office. Responding to the Jedi dust up this afternoon, Tesco released a statement saying, and I quote: “He hasn’t been banned. Jedis are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all appeared hoodless without ever going over to the Dark Side and we are only aware of the Emperor as one who never removed his hood.” Ooo, snap! Take that Morda Hehol!