M was the star of the first musical I did when I moved down here in the early 80s. We were doing a Sondheim show, and he was spending weekends in LA as one of Sondheim's pianist/arrangers. He brought back a manuscript for a number which was going to be in a future Sondheim show which he had permission to use in our show. He was in his 20s at the time. His day job was at a bank.

Very often he was the accompanist at auditions when I tried out. A couple of times he was the rehearsal pianist for shows I was in. When I went to see shows friends were in, he was sometimes music director.

We weren't on stage together again until 2008, which is when I learned three surprising things about M:

- He is a nurse at my HMO- He is gay- He is married to G, who as far as I could tell, had no interest in music or theater beyond occasionally seeing M perform.

G died yesterday.

He went through scheduled surgery, spent about a week in recovery and was back home when he died.

The only time I can remember meeting G is when I visited the also-gay director of that 2008 show, H, who was in the hospital recovering from a leg amputation - a result of dead kidneys and no transplants available.

G was someone I did not know at all, and I am sad at his passing much more because he was dear to M, H and many of my theater friends, who are devastated.