Everybody's having sex in Miami. Almost nobody is doing it as much as they want to in D.C. Here's how to deal with either situation, according to sex therapists from both places.

Are you satisfied with your sex life? It might depend on where you live.

About half of us are satisfied with our sex lives, according to a few studies, but our level of satisfaction appears to have a lot to do with where we call home.

Miami takes the proverbial erotic cake in several sexual satisfaction studies, including Trojan's most recent (and potentially scientific?) Charged Sex Life Survey. Seventy-three percent of Miami residents told the condom company's (still potentially scientific?) researchers that they were pleased with the amount of action they were getting.

This came as no surprise to definitively scientific South Beach psychologist and sex therapist Elsa Orlandini.

"I think the heat has a lot to do with it," Orlandini says. "Miami is an open place where you can just go anywhere and meet people," she says. "Other places might be more seasonal. If you come to Miami, you see that people don't wear much clothing, and the clothing that they do wear is very sexualized."

It's a different story in buttoned-up Washington D.C., where 59% of people say they are unsatisfied with their love life, and 53% admit things between the sheets could use a boost.

Sexual Gridlock

People in the nation's capital have plenty of power and prestige, so what's causing the sexual gridlock? D.C.-based psychologist and sex therapist Keith Miller says all that power and prestige come at a price.

"People who live here are under a lot of stress," he says. "It's a very competitive place to be."

He says living in a professional pressure cooker can "kill any sex drive."

Another beltway relationship expert, Marissa Nelson of XoXo Therapy, agrees. Most of her clients are attorneys and government workers who have a hard time with work-life balance.

"What works in the boardroom doesn't always work in the bedroom," she explains.

So what can the business suit crowd in D.C. learn from the bathing suit-clad folks in Florida?

Orlandini says it's simple: Chill out, don't be shy, and always look your best. Oh, and living in a city full of toned and tanned bodies doesn't hurt, either.

"A lot of people invest in their health down here, and if people feel good, they tend to be more sexualized," Orlandini says. "Everybody looks like a supermodel."

She also says Miami generally has, ahem, lower barriers of entry.

"Its more common for people to be free with intimacy and not necessarily wait to for more of an emotional attachment," she says.

While embracing the widespread easy breezy philosophy might sound awesome, Orlandini says not everyone is feeling the vibe. "A lot of women who are serious, who come from more conservative backgrounds, find it very hard to start relationships with men in Miami because they've been effected by women who are very easy, so male expectations for intimacy are pretty high."

Quality Over Quantity?

Another reason there's so much magic happening in Magic City: Its vibrant culture gets a libido boost from its thriving Latin population.

"Caribbean islanders are very hot, as you may say, when it comes to sexual thoughts. They are very comfortable talking about intimacy," Orlandini observes. "And because of the Hispanic influence, passion is very highlighted. Once people are in a relationship, there is a lot of passion in the relationship that wouldn't necessarily have been present had it taken place elsewhere (in the country)."

Still, she says there's a big difference between passion and promiscuity — and another Trojan-funded study, the 2011 U.S. Sex Census, agrees. That survey found married couples were far more sexually satisfied than their singles counterparts — 82% vs. 71%, respectively — even though single people got down 21 more times a year than their married friends.

What You Really, Really Want

What can the deprived souls in D.C. (and other urban centers experiencing a sexual drought) do?

Nelson resists the "go buy some toys and do it" approach in favor of a more holistic approach to help clients rejuvenate their sex lives.

"I don't want to be like Cosmo and me like, 'Yes! Break out the whips and the chains and let's go!'" she says with a laugh. She encourages couples to get in touch with their wants and desires.

"What excites you? What turns you on? What really turns you on? What is it that I can try — or that we can try together? What is your fantasy?" she offers. "They're sharing their secrets, they're building intimacy."

A Part of Hearst Digital Media
Esquire participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites.