Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over
to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened
the trunk.

I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of
my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn't
believe it! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the
approaching drivers.

To my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men,
which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road. And of
course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting their horns
and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up
behind me.

He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he
was not a happy camper!

Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled down the stairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted: the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

The funeral Procession

THE FUNERAL PROCESSION

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning
coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession
approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men
walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully
approached the man walking the dog & said, "I am so sorry
for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you,
but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked & killed her"

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help
my wife when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed
between the two men.

[[ Furr Babies are Like Potato Chips **** No One Can Have Just One ]]
****** Kindness, Mercy & Justice to All Living Creatures ******
{{{{{Everyday is a Gift = That's why it's Called the Present }}}}}
((( Each Day With Our Pets is a Surprise Package Waiting to be Opened )))
<Sunsets are God's Reminder to Us That At The End of the Day We're All In This Together>

Have you ever danced ?????

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... Never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

Some JOKES 4 u!

Here are some Hilarious Jokes.... Hope you like them!

What four letters would scare off a burgaler? O I C U (Oh I see you)
Knock Knock. Who's there? Snot. Snot who? SNOT polite to say snot
Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the sallad DRESSING!
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other SLIDE!
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken was having a DAY OFF
Kock Knock. Who is there? Wet. Wet who? WET me in it's raining!

OK i'm sooooooooooooooo silly

I love you and i miss you RB Goldberg. you may be gone from the world, but you'll never be gone from my heart. i wish you could come back, but you are better now. Rest in heavenly peace. i forever miss and love you. i hope "one fine day" we can reunite and be best friends again.
I forever hold you in my arms,
I have your name engraved in my heart,
I know that you may be gone,
But i loved you right from the start.

Good Wom.. Now you forgot to say Lesson #3 Is Also Dont Mess With Texans..

Originally Posted by wombat2u2004

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... Never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

[[ Furr Babies are Like Potato Chips **** No One Can Have Just One ]]
****** Kindness, Mercy & Justice to All Living Creatures ******
{{{{{Everyday is a Gift = That's why it's Called the Present }}}}}
((( Each Day With Our Pets is a Surprise Package Waiting to be Opened )))
<Sunsets are God's Reminder to Us That At The End of the Day We're All In This Together>

What four letters would scare off a burgaler? O I C U (Oh I see you)
Knock Knock. Who's there? Snot. Snot who? SNOT polite to say snot
Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the sallad DRESSING!
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other SLIDE!
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken was having a DAY OFF
Kock Knock. Who is there? Wet. Wet who? WET me in it's raining!

Good Wom.. Now you forgot to say Lesson #3 Is Also Dont Mess With Texans..

You heard the one about the Texan tourist who went to Australia for a holiday ????
He was on a bus trip in the outback with a bunch of Aussies.

All of a sudden, they passed a herd of cattle.
Texan: "What are those things ????"
Aussie: "Oh, they are probably Herefords or some kind of beef cattle."
Texan: "Yer kiddin.....we got longhorns in Texas twice the size of those."

The bus drives on further.
All of a sudden, they passed a herd of sheep.
Texan: "What on Gods earth are they ???"
Aussie: "Sheep, they are our prime wool sheep."
Texan: "You gotta be jokin pardner, we've sheep in Texas that make your sheep look like dwarfs."

The bus drives on further.
All of a sudden, a kangaroo bounds past the bus.
Texan: "Doggone, what in hell was that ??"
Aussie: Probably just one of our field mice."