Remember Madonna’s stomach, back in the 1980s? It was flat, but soft, and flashed often under her midriff shirts in videos for Lucky Star and Holiday. Back then, her stomach showed who she was: sexy, provocative and deliriously assertive. She had curves, she danced, she rolled on the floor, and she seemed to have sex whenever, wherever and probably with whomever she wanted to. She inspired a generation of us to dare a little more, bare a little more and to not care.

Now when I think of her, I think of her arms. Her taut, muscled biceps, alarmingly free of padding, are perfect symbols of her determination. Arms like that don’t come easily – not at 30, but especially not at 50. She works very, very hard – and this is why she has endured.

But, now, this hard work is deflating as well as inspiring. She might not have cared about what people thought of her sexually, but she obviously cares what people think of her physically. Sure, it’s wonderful to be able to perform cartwheels in high-heeled boots as she did at the Super Bowl. Props to that. But is physical stamina what we need to liberate us as we grow older, or is it freedom from having to look like a sculpted, acne-free, 20-year-old? We now know that women like sex – but do they still like themselves as they age? Madonna has become a model of exhaustion (gym marathons) and cosmetic longevity as well as sexual freedom (young boys are her weakness). But she no longer represents an idea – liberation, say – as much as extreme effort.

Madonna at Radio City Hall in 1985.

Madonna taught us to face fears: of the consequences of blooming sexuality, independence, anger, eccentricity and unconventionality. Of being women who don’t do as they are told. But not so much the fear of ageing. I can’t help but wish, as brilliant British author Caitlin Moran said to me in an interview recently, that Madonna would just let herself become a smart, defiant, old woman: “If Madonna could just hag up now and just look like a wizard and just grow long, grey hair down to her knees and start using a stick and shouting at people in a really angry way, that would be amazing.”

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It would, wouldn’t it? Ageing is an art form few know how to master. We value youth, but we used to also admire wisdom. And we know wisdom accumulates with age, if we pursue the right things, if we train ourselves to remember what is important, to learn how to love, speak and be better. Madonna may be telling us that middle-aged women should not become invisible, inaudible or afraid to be alone, which is, of course, good – but she makes it seem like you have to look a certain way to do so.

When she was young, she was a bold Italian with hairy armpits who refused to behave the way girls at her school did to get boys. She says she finally found herself in explosive gay nightclubs in New York City; her refusal to behave the way women are told they should has continued throughout her life. She recently told Naomi Wolf in Harper’s Bazaar that what was most important was, “to continue to be a provocateur, to do what we perceive as the realm of young people to provoke, to be rebellious, to start a revolution”.

Yes! But can only the pretty start revolutions? When Madonna refuses to age, when she turns her body into a scientific experiment, she stops representing rebellion and starts representing obedience. An obedience that requires wealth, time and an enormous, unending amount of effort. It might be too much to ask of a star, to ask them to, say, be themselves at every age. To look their age, which has always seemed a strange insult to me. Her career depends on her beauty.

But I can’t help but think that inside Madonna somewhere is a hirsute Italian-American with brown hair, thick eyebrows and a bad attitude, struggling to recognise her stuffed cheeks and wide eyes in the mirror. Madonna did teach us to be our true selves. Until we get old.

From: Sunday Life

42 comments

You've missed the point. She has been quite blunt in stating that she refuses to let societal expectations of her age dictate how she dresses, behaves and thinks. She is continuing to do the job she loves in the way she has done like no ther for three decades. You are exactly the kind of person she is railing against. And at the end of the day, this is her business and she's running it quite well. Debuting at number 1 on the album charts all over the world this ver day.

Commenter

Balmain

Location

Sydney

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 9:16AM

I think it is you who may have missed the point of the article. If Madonna is truly not bothered by 'social expectations' why does her face look the way it does? Granted, every celeb has had some sort of plastic surgery but this is extreme to the point of desperation. Look at other women in their 50s who've had work done - they don't look like Madonna. Even Demi Moore does not look as extreme. It is one thing to look 'great for your age' it is another to look like a parody of what you once were. I think Julia Baird is saying that once Madonna really didn't care how she was perceived but the face and the body are extreme -they're saying "help me, I am fearful. I no longer trust in my talent". you only have to look at the other, younger people she brings into her orbit to see that.

Commenter

Karina

Location

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 11:31AM

Again, you missed the point. First of all I think she looks great, but separately from that, she's doing what she wants and she doesn't give two stuffs what any of us think. Do you think she hasn't heard all this criticism before? Of course she has and she makes her choices independently of that. She can age as gracefully or ungracefully as she chooses and she isn't interested in whether you or I think it's right. Every man and his dog is on the "put some clothes on and retire" bandwagon. It's within her rights to ignore it as she is doing.

Commenter

Balmain

Location

Sydney

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 11:48AM

I really don't like this article's point at all. Why criticize Madonna because she is looking after herself? Maybe she should allow herself to get a little more body fat because it would look nice, but it's absurd to claim keeping fit and healthy is denying ones age. She's just doing her best and most of us could learn from it. Shame on you.

Commenter

tenorboy

Location

sydney

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 9:21AM

Goo on Madonna for not letting people's opinions define who she is. As another 50+ gym junkie, I enjoy the workouts, I have been told by my trainer that I am stronger than some girls half my age and have more stamina. I have weekly facials and my skin is in great condition, I get mistaked fr 10 years younger. Age is only a number, it does not define who you are.

Commenter

Blue

Location

Bondi

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 9:55AM

even though she produced some amazing music i was never a fan, i thought she tried too hard to be cool.

now she is just a try hard has been.

Commenter

markymark

Location

sydney

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 10:06AM

what a bitchy artical,the women looks fantastic,looks after herself religiously and on most accounts presents as a great role model to women ,would it make you feel better about yourself if she was sitting around in track suit pants eating donuts?,no wonder women have body issues.

Commenter

starship dave

Location

sydney

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 10:07AM

Thats one hell of an assumption yr making in the title alone. feminism tells me I can be whoever I want so can Madonna and she owes u nothing.

Commenter

nemar

Location

sydney

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 10:10AM

Wow, the body police are getting younger! Not to mention the age police!!!

Commenter

self

Location

Date and time

April 02, 2012, 10:15AM

I think the author of this article has completely missed the point. Take a look around at the majority of women 40+ and you will find they care less about staying trim, fit and maintaining the standards they had 10+ years earlier with regard to their bodies. And that's perfectly fine - what is important changes over time but don't judge Madonna because she refuses to age as society expects - this IS rebellion! To do as the author suggests and grow old now because she's 50 (news flash - that's still young today) IS rebellion because it's not the norm (take a look at the statistics re % of women who are overweight). I applaud Madonna for still being able to motivate herself to get to the gym when most of us her age, myself included, are more motivated to spend the time we used to spend in the gym, at leisure with family and friends.

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