I did say I'd do this again, so I'm back for another people bashing on language and its misuse.

So come the shorthand nonsense, obviously follows those that do not understand the simple rules of grammar. I'm not talking about the ones that show off that they have a high vocab standard, theres nothing wrong with that. If you've got it, flaunt it. I fo one, would like to speak like the Wole Soyinkas one day. Not like the academics in Business, Law, or Psychology Journals (to name a few)that feel the need to use one big word after every preposition in their sentence.

This is an example:

Thus instead of wrenching unions from context and treating them as an exogeneous determinant of productivity, the best work has sought to recontextualize their social practices and view them as one element in a complex parallelogram of market, technological and institutional forces determining outcomes in production.

Tell me, if you know nothing of unions and productivity, does this help you in any way?

HISS

Anyways I'm not talking about the over-sabis.

Im talking about those that missed primary 2 and 3, when we were being taught the preliminaries of the English Language.

I know people will say, ehn but English is not our first language. Please that is the lamest excuse ever, because English is the language of the world. The world trades in English, the world communicates in English..hence there is no argument there. If we are anti-westernisation, then why do we strive so hard to gain their education? why?Why didnt we all just stick to our farming and hunting, as opposed to becoming civilized. If we dont want to speak English, then we shouldnt. I will teach my child Yoruba o, dont get me wrong, but he will learn the English equally well.

Forget people who have gone to 'jakande' schools or what ever, I understand, they may have received second hand education, but I tell you , half of them do not come out writing like this.

The one I see the most, that makes me cringe, that can make me lose interest in a guy once I see it, the one that makes me scream my head off is 'am' for i'm... but as in, really?

Why???? why?

I'm not saying Nigeriansare the only ones that do it, so dont get me wrong, alot of other people do it but I think its just not right. I understand the mistake once or twice, but there are people that just cant stop using it that way.

I have the memory of a fish so I cant list the ones Ive seen, but Im sure you guys know what Im on about.

If you went to secondary school in Nigeria and did Business Studies, then you'd remember the stupidity in doing that part of the subject. Drawing lines in place of words, and by the end of writing a few sentences, your 'reporter's note' resembled something out of a very posh nursery school where the 3 year olds had learnt to chicken scratch in a very systematic way or looked like some rubbish being labelled as post-modern art nowadays.

I'm actually not talking about that. I'm talking about the way we have resorted to sending our text messages, or the more annoying one, the way we chat on msn or wherever.

am nt sayn dat I dnt use shrt hnd, bt nt as ridiculsly as dis.

Notice the I'm has become 'am'? And 'as' and 'use' seemingly the only correct words in that sentence . But, that one is a post for another day.

Back to short hand...I don't understand why we do this. For sms messages, I understand we want to cramp as many words as we can into one message, but then chatting too? Is it because you want to type much faster? I think it makes you type much slower. Even I do the occasional 'n' for and or 'r' for are, but the things like 'lyk for like is just ridiculous or mess'd for messed...erm sorry what is the apostrophe for? Isnt it a character for that same character that you are trying to avoid typing?

It is absolutely disgusting....

I get so many messages from naija that I find so hard to decipher mainly because every other word is in shorthand. why have we become so lazy to write and talk properly? I spoke to one of my friends about it because hers is just too much for me to handle and she said to me that it has affected her writing in general...worse still that she is a graduate soon to be going into employment and writing reports proposals. It is that bad that she cant separate the two styles of writing and it has become part of her.

***Yes I'm home for Easter and I cant say these kids are doing my head in, cos Ive missed them die, so I'll have to deal with it. Suffice to say I'm supposed to find out if trade unions reduce productivity and write a 4k word paper on it. Point of the story is, its not getting anywhere, as in

who gives a f*** if you fumble because you are in a union, the bottom line is if you don't deliver, you get sacked. End of story!!

I think I should just copy and paste the 3 lines above, about 4,000 times and cross my fingers and hope for an A. The lecturer's justification for that A should be, showing acts of 'rebellion'♦ Thats what the world needs. Then show me off to the rest of the 400 students in my class and say to them, believe!!!!

***A disadvantage of being back home - I have to be fully clothed. At uni, I sleep naked mostly, even though I live with 3 boys ( And no, they wont dare)...I just hate clothes. I think we should all boycot PJ's and sleep in our skins. Trust me, its bliss. You sleep better.

Plus-*I sleep better when someone watches me sleep* Now I cant help it.

***New improvements- Popcorn is now pronounced poh-orn by the 2yr old in my house...Dont ask me how that pronunciation came about, but now I find myself saying it. I hope people don't laugh at me in public when it slips out.

***My Post is leaning on the random side today. My apologies - but randomness is now the way forward, followed by razzness, in form of the Jenifa syndrome. If you don't know about Baba Tee and Teksy, then you are missing out on a major phase of your generation. You will lack tales to tell your grandkids and it will be a traumatising experience for them when kids their age, know about the craze in their grandfather/mother's time and still say 'ama see saw at the gest togedas' and yours dont. Do you want that for them? ...No?... Then get on the train!!

You know, as in, its like, my posh, finishing school bred sister now calls me Franca and answers her kids with a 'yelz' and says 'housh' when the oil spills out of the frying pan.It is a way of life.The world is changing...are you changing with it?

People, how have you been? (This is me avoiding the fact that, yet again, I have been away for too long)