"The Biggest Loser" Season 10 Week 7 recap: Boot camp and B.S.

Tuesday

Darn you, Black team! Just when I want to believe that you got all "Semper Fi"-ed up, ditched the drama and got down to fair-and-square business, you pull a stunt like this.

You send Anna home to keep your little cliche intact. Grrrrr.

Anna lost weight during the blink-and-you-miss-it Week 7 weigh-in (this episode of "The Biggest Loser" was crammed into one hour because of Election Night). She lost two pounds.

Elizabeth gained a pound AND collapsed during the challenge, ensuring that her team would lose. As I mention in the Bloggy Awards (see bottom of post), this was her second fainting spell in seven weeks. She is by far the weakest player in this game.

But Elizabeth stayed on the ranch. And that was obviously the plan all along. The Superfriends (my original name for the Frado, Patrick and Brendan alliance) have expanded to include Ada and Elizabeth. Anna was always the odd woman out.

Which brings us to the strange events of the weigh-in.

Frado stepped on the scale last, needing to lose at least 9 pounds for the Black team to beat Blue. Now, that might seem like too tall an order in a week where the group was thrown very violently out of their routines and comfort zones. They left the ranch to live, train -- and most importantly, eat -- like Marines, and before Frado weighed in, we learned that two other contestants (Elizabeth and Jesse) gained weight during the wacky week.

But Frado was a Marine. You'd think he could adjust to the changes better than anyone. Also, the Blue team's Aaron lost 14 pounds, so we knew it was possible to put up a big number under these circumstances.

What did Frado do? He gained four pounds. Gained, I say. And to make matters even more shady, he gained four pounds after predicting to Ali Sweeney that he "just felt like he would put up a plus-6." What?!?! And then he swore to Ali his gain wasn't game-play -- which I'm sure he would stick to, were he to respond to this blog right now (invitation is open!)

Now, I've accused people of throwing weigh-ins before and been brutally rebuffed. I can't pretend to know exactly what's going on behind the scenes, and it's certainly possible that Frado got a little too liberal with the French toast and syrup in the Mess Hall, or he was due for a bad showing after dropping 14 pounds last week. One thing is clear: Anna was the planned target, and nothing on this show will ever go as normal logic (OK, my logic) dictates. Because then Elizabeth would be fainting in her own living room right about now.

I should say that what the Black team did Tuesday night was no different than the Blue team voting along friendship lines last week. But that doesn't mean I have to like it!

I think it's time to move on to more positive things. Like this week's hosts: the US Marines at Camp Pendleton.

Camp Pendleton is located in Southern California, about 38 miles from San Diego and 82 miles from L.A. A few interesting facts, according to the website: a) The camp encompasses more than 125,000 miles of coastal and mountain terrain, and b) It is one of the Department of Defense's busiest installations.

But the Marines at Camp Pendleton made time in their schedule to entertain us, by laying a beating on the contestants unlike any we've seen from Bob and Jillian. Their workouts were intense. On the other hand, their meal plan didn't seem to agree with the contestants. Read on for more on that.

BLUE -- Aaron lost 14 (398 to 384), Lisa lost 2 (244 to 242), Jesse gained 1 (296 to 297), Jessica lost 4 (244 to 240), and Mark lost 7 (336 to 329).

CHALLENGE: The teams had to go through a kind of Marine-style obstacle course while carrying around 10-pound weights in backpacks. The Blue team won and got to call their family members on cell phones from the beach.

And now, for the Week 7 Bloggy Awards!

Family Pride Award: Ali Sweeney, who revealed that her father was once stationed at Camp Pendleton.

Setting the Mood Award: The producers, for including a military clock and very official-looking neon green status updates in the corner of the screen. It was like something out of a Rambo movie.

Not Messing Around Award: The Marines, who made "Casualty Evac" one of the stations in the challenge. The contestants had to carry a Marine (he was alive) on a stretcher. But just the word "casualty" made me think, "This is not a game."

Mess-ing with Metabolism Award: The Marines, who served French toast and sausage and all sorts of non-"Biggest Loser" foods in their Mess Hall.

Crystal Ball Award: Jesse, who predicted that eating the aforementioned food would not make for positive results on the scale. Bingo!

Dramatic Collapse Award: Elizabeth, who collapsed for the second time in her short stint on the show. This time was during the challenge, but instead of going on without her (as they did when she bit it in the premiere), her teammates stopped to help her cross the finish line. You have to wonder, is this girl really fit to continue on the show? Her endurance doesn't seem to have improved.

Scottie Pippen Award: Brendan, who shaved his head to look like a Marine. Ugh. I always use Pippen as my benchmark for bad-looking bald guys. You Chicago peeps feel me, right?

Drama King Award: Frado, who blubbered on at the weigh-in about how he didn't feel confident and predicted, before he stepped on the scale, that he would put up a "plus-6." Puh-lease. Spare us your histrionics.

Quotes of the Week: "I just hope this stays in the air." -- Jessica, on the CH46 military helicopter.

"You CAN breathe. You know why? Because you just SAID you can't breathe!" -- Hot Marine. Sorry, that describes all of them. But it took me like three weeks to learn the contestants' names, I was NOT going to remember the Marines' names.

"You can do anything you frickin' put your heart into!" -- Another Marine. I like how he cleaned up his language for prime-time TV.

"I'm not a Marine. I just had the pleasure of training with them." -- Mark. Well said.

"I'd rather walk with a real bull on my back than Jillian screaming in my damn ear." -- Brendan.

Looking forward: I just received word today that the Season 10 finale is scheduled for Dec. 14, with the Marathon episode (final four contestants run a marathon) coming a week earlier on Dec. 7. Both episodes will air an hour later -- 9-11 p.m. -- to make room for a prime-time episodes of "Minute to Win It." WTF on that, NBC?

Finally, check back here tomorrow afternoon to hear what Anna had to say during her conference call with the media. Hopefully she can shed some more light on what really happened, and whether she saw her exit coming!

Never miss a story

Choose the plan that's right for you.
Digital access or digital and print delivery.