20 June 2008

D- (referring to a picture of a gear): THAT'S not a gear, and I know all about it, so... (shooting me a look plainly stating that I'm mentally retarded and that's all there is to it)

M- (pointing to picture of Hillary Clinton): Guy... guy! (Not sure whether that would make HRC happy or sad-- I mean, gender may not matter in the end, but still...)

D-: M-, you have to share-- that's the only law. Daddy and Momma make the laws, so...

J-: Instead of a bird feeder, someday can we put up a bird scarer?? (For some reason, she's not a fan of birds, at least up close.)

Me (to D- in a particularly gross men's room): Please try not to splash in the puddles of urine. (while adjusting his feet)

D- (to M-, going through all of his ViewMaster slides): Noooooooooooo... for sakes, God.

J- (to D-): Put it away! (I'll leave this one to your imagination.)

Me (possibly about to chloroform a 4-year-old in timeout): Stop the fake coughing, now! You're going to rupture something.

D- (abruptly shouting at M-, not even remotely calmly, after I told both kids to calm down): Calmdown!!

J-: There was a weird jumping spider on the table, but (looking over at the eagerly listening kids, unintentionally adopting a tone sounding for all the world like a mafia hitwoman) I uh... took care of it.

Instead of "put it away" we often use "no one wants to see THAT' (unfortunately more than anyone should have to I might add.) Also there is often no need to write this stuff down, it is always going on and being said and like those horrible viral songs you cannot get it out of your head, for sakes, God!