I have been having a hard time with this birthday. I told my friends I was going to be like Charlotte from Sex and the City and celebrate 34 again. I had a similar celebration like she did as my friends and I met up in Las Vegas last weekend. We stayed at the MGM, did a VIP Club Crawl, saw Frank Morino’s Divas of Las Vegas (which I highly recommend), ate great food, did some shopping and of course some gambling. I did win a little bit. I also got to see my cousin and her family before I left.

I guess the reason I have been having trouble is because I am not where I thought I would be at this age. I thought I would be in a long-term relationship. It has been especially hard because I have had many friends get married or have babies in the past three years. And everyone keeps saying, “Don’t worry it will happen when you least expect it”, honestly a line I am sick of hearing. It has been tough but good things have already been happening, and I have a great support system.

It is Christmas Eve and I am sitting at home doing a Redbox movie marathon and ION television is doing a Criminal Minds marathon starting at 3pm. (Spending the afternoon with my chocolate boyfriend Shemar Moore. He came in all the time where I used to work and is the nicest guy.)

No I am not spending the holidays with the new man. I didn’t really force the issue since he seems like someone who like me needs to take things slow. Next week we will have been dating three months and at times it has been hard for me to get used to his schedule and him just wanting to relax at home by himself. My mom said “You are used to M’s schedule so why aren’t you okay with the man’s schedule”. My response to her was, “That is because I know nothing more is going to happen with M, this new man there is a possibility of something more”. This past Monday we celebrated his birthday (his birthday is Christmas day). I went all out baking a cake, getting his presents and also the champagne he wanted. I gave him his gifts and since they were a popular tv show we popped them into the DVD player and enjoyed the evening. And again like the week before things were even more passionate than they had been before. Things were different in a good way and I had a feeling it was the night we would hit a home run and we did. It was sort of like the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie and Berger did it for the first time. After though he sat up, asked for one of the chocolate chip cookies I made and had me sit in front of him and put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. It was a very good night despite the lil bit of awkwardness.

We had talked about possibly doing something last night but late in the afternoon he told me he had been sleeping in all day and wanted to relax before his two days of socializing. I was a lil upset because I was looking forward to seeing him but then he sent me a message saying some items from my Amazon wish list would be coming Monday. Who knows maybe he felt bad that he hadn’t gotten me anything yet and didn’t want to upset me. I am trying very hard to not look at what he bought me and patiently waiting for Monday to come.

Even though I am not doing anything today, my family will be calling me later while they celebrate the holiday at my older brother’s house. Since my little brother won’t be getting my nephew until later tonight they will be celebrating tomorrow with my parents and will be calling me and hopefully through Skype. I am also going to a friend’s house tomorrow for dinner. So I won’t be totally alone for the holiday. I am upset though that the Christmas Football game will be on the NFL Network and that CBS won’t be showing my Patriots game on Sunday.

The term ‘The nook’ became popular during an episode of Sex and the City. Big calls Carrie when she is bed with Aiden. After that she tries to get into his nook and he pulls away. Then at the end of the episode she finds her way back to his nook.

I love being in the nook. I like many women, feel safe in the nook. No matter what your day or week has been like, being in the nook takes all of those stresses away. I have been in the nook with others, but I love being in M’s nook. I guess it is because I don’t get to be so often. When I saw him Thursday he told me that he is going to have to leave again for a couple of months very soon. He is only back in town to get things going here so he can be gone on location again. So this time I made sure I stayed in his nook as long as I could. When it is time to take our midsex nap, M stretches out his arm and I lay my head down on his chest and he wraps his arm around me to pull me closer until I am in his nook. When I am there I just fall asleep and know that everything is going to be okay. If I even try to get up M pulls me in closer because he doesn’t want me to leave. Just like I never want him to leave.

Don’t get me wrong I like being in the nook with others, like RC but with M it is different. With RC I am in his nook while we are watching TV and before we have our ‘fun’. After we have our ‘fun’, he never pulls me back into his nook. He actually moves to his side of the bed. With M before or after he always pulls me into his nook, and I feel even closer to him.

So Ladies, enjoy your time in your man’s nook. And to the men out there, pull your lady into your nook, it will bring you two even closer.

The crush left a month ago for his mini vacation and work. When he left I knew it was good for me. I was going to focus on other things and get him out of my head for a bit. I didn’t contact him at all until after a week of being gone he sent me a message saying he so wishes he was home. Since then we have been emailing and texting when he has time. Since I will be gone when he gets back, we made plans to see each other the day after I get back. He wanted to see me the night I get back but I get back to late. We have been emailing about random things and today he said something in an email that threw me, “I miss you”.

The reason it threw me was because I was seeing M today. It has been nice because M and I have been seeing each other every couple of weeks. The last time I saw him I wasn’t sure I would see him again before I left but it worked out that I did. We met up to do an early Cinco de Mayo celebration (our favorite holiday), of margaritas and fajitas. We caught up on the last couple of weeks and he told me that he is leaving within in the week for location for the summer. I am used to it as this has been the norm since we met over four years ago. Not sure why this year it is harder. Maybe it is because we have been seeing each other more often.

Or it could be the fact that the crush threw me that curve ball.

After M and I finished our lunch we went next door to get to get intimate with each other. When we started kissing and getting intimate, which was amazing as usual, that scene from Sex and The City popped into my head. (The one where Carrie is having flashbacks of her first night of her affair with Big. I was Carrie and M was Big.) After several minutes of amazing sex, we took a break by taking a nap. I was able to sleep for a bit but those words from the crush creeped their way back into my head, “I miss you” and I couldn’t get rid of it. Then M started taking advantage of my body again but those words were still in my head as hard as I tried to forget them. When M and I were both finished we laid there for a bit. I could tell something was on his mind but he said everything was fine. I felt like he could read my mind. I kept kissing his body and then he said he had to go because he had to take care of some last minute work things. I didn’t want him to leave because I knew it would be the last time for two months. I made sure I kissed and hugged him a lot before he left. He told me he would call me when he gets back at the end of the summer when his job here starts up again.

We kissed goodbye one last time and we both were off. On my drive home I had the worst feeling in my stomach, in fact it is still there as I write this. I know I am not cheating on the crush because we haven’t even had the discussion about being something more than friends, but the words, “I miss you”, makes me think it will happen once I get back.

Tonight I had the pleasure of attending a Writers on Writing event at the Writer’s Guild West. Every week the Writer’s Guild brings in a screenwriter and has another writer interview them. I was a little nervous because I have never been to one of these events and do not no anyone in the Guild because I am not a member (you have to have writing credits for that). I was also excited because of the writer being interviewed.

Tonight Michael Patrick King was the writer being interviewed. Well know of his big success, Sex and the City the series as well at the movie which he also directed. His other work includes Murphy Brown (he joined the series during the Dan Quayle story line), and The Comeback. He talked about his inspirations and how him and his writing team came up with story lines for Sex and the City. He talked about his writing process and his experiences. He gave lots of great advice. He told us how he didn’t have any contacts when he started but had written a spec script and was given a chance.

After two hours of laughs and insight, there was a small reception but most of us stayed in the conference room to get a chance to talk to Michael Patrick King and hopefully get an autograph. To writers, successful writers are celebrities to us. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say but I stood in line for my chance. My turn came and i said the only thing I could think of. I told Michael that I watch the Sex and the City DVDs when I get writer’s block, it is a great inspiration to me and gets me writing. He said “Thank you so much that is very flattering. I appreciate that.” Then I had him sign my writing notebook. He also wrote a short message for me as well. I am thinking of tearing it out and framing it.

At the end of February they will be featuring Diablo Cody, writer of Juno.