Comments on: Re: The backlash against ‘I am Adam Lanza’s Mother’http://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/
Canada's national current affairs and news magazine since 1905Thu, 14 Dec 2017 01:09:25 +0000hourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.3By: Cathttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036479
Fri, 21 Dec 2012 17:30:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036479The more I hear about this lady, the more I am convinced that her child is not special needs; he’s just never received discipline and he’s playing his mother like a fiddle to get what he wants.
]]>By: wallhousewarthttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036477
Fri, 21 Dec 2012 02:54:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036477She wasn’t ridiculing the children. She was writing a humour blog. I don’t believe for one minute she actually said that to her children.
]]>By: Gickerhttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036475
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 20:17:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036475Many of you people just don’t get what it’s like to be or live with someone who is mentally ill. One of you accused her as being part of the problem. Well I have news for you. Everyone who goes about spreading hate and intolerance and disdain for others is part of the problem. We live in a society where each of us sits upon a pearly white throne, casting judgement upon all the lesser humans below us. THAT is the problem with our society. All I see here is proof of the stigma towards mental illness and those who live with it, whether as the ill or those who care for them. You have NO idea what it would be like to care for a child like that, and instead in your high and mighty perfection you blame, no you scandalize, an imperfect and troubled mother who deals with a very distressing situation. Few of you understand or give a darn about understanding, because all you care about is justification of yourselves and demeaning others as a short lived means of lifting yourselves. No people, that is not that answer. There is a simple message sprinkled throughout our society that many seem to like on the surface, but that few want to take to heart. If you want to see the change, be the change. If you want to see violence end, refrain from violence, even verbal violence (and by the way I spot more than one grown up bully on this message forum). If you want to see the mental illness stigma go away treat the mentally ill and those who care for them with compassion and understanding. Because you have zero idea most likely what kind of hell on earth it can be for those people.

I for one am not perfect, I make many mistakes and I am sure I have made at least a few in this post. But let’s get real people. The problem with our society isn’t with other people, it’s with ourselves. So let’s fix ourselves, and then help others do the same. At the end of the day the only part of this world we can change is ourselves, and once we’ve done that, we can go about serving and helping and teaching others to become better and happier people. I am sorry if this came off as finger pointing, but some of these comments just upset me, being a person with chronic mental illness. Some people will always justify, and retort, and play devil’s advocate, maybe because they’re afraid to face themselves in the mirror and ask hard questions about what kind of person they are. But some of you out there are good hearted, decent people who don’t live in fear of being seen as ‘lesser’. For those people, have compassion on Adam Lanza, his mother and his family. Don’t join Captain Critic and the Judgement Brigade, because that is the attitude that causes these horrors to happen, little by little, generation by generation.

There are simple principles to making this world a better place. Tolerance of others. Honesty with ourselves. Desire to do good. Serving our fellow man. Acknowledging our shortcomings and trying to overcome them. Patience with the shortcomings of others.

I know that recent events are horrific and difficult to explain. But let us return evil for good, not evil for more evil. Especially this time of year when our hearts are meant to be open and lifted towards our neighbours.

Think about it.

]]>By: databaselinehttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036473
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 18:04:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036473Although I do think that her son’s identity should have been better protected.
]]>By: databaselinehttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036471
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 18:01:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036471I think the blog posts, although they sound cruel to us, realistically illustrate just how frustrating, difficult and hurtful it can be to raise that kind of child day in and day out. I imagine that it would be exhausting and isolating, and sometimes you might even hate your child. But I am not under the illusion that I would fare any better with such a child. Are you? I think people who criticize her haven’t given it much thought.
]]>By: Matt Ramsdenhttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036469
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 15:31:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036469Hogwash. You don’t know what the cliff face was like. You don’t know how fit or capable she is versus how fit and capable her son is. You don’t know how close he came to actually doing it – whether she would have abandoned her hands off approach for a panicked plea instead, had he actually been in danger. Every parent has done that.
]]>By: Matt Ramsdenhttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036467
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 15:20:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036467Wow. I don’t know if we’re all just rabidly looking for contrary opinions and gotcha moments, or whether we’re becoming more naive about the people around us. Strangely, people seem to take it as a given that Liza Long being (possibly) narcissistic or having (arguably) poor judgement regarding the use of her son’s photo, and Liza Long writing a moving and illuminating response to the tragedy in Newtown are mutually exclusive. How bizarre that we could think to pick apart her later recalled, stylized accounts of the more trying aspects of parenting, and use them to dismiss her – not just her writing, but *her* – as a person. How about simply asking yourself whether you think the things she describes in her (in)famous article are true? Or, close to true. Or perhaps totally subjective, but at least reflective of how *she* feels in the situation. Why does anybody care whether they think they would like her if, say, they actually knew?
]]>By: Maryhttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036465
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:12:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036465Are you a “writer” or just a gossip? Sadly, the mother sounds uncannily like the all too common brand of grown-up bully: Most specifically, the kind that thinks its ok to ridicule children. They do exist you know. I’m with Kenzidor. The anthropologist. Don’t speak up – and you become part of the problem.
]]>By: Maryhttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036463
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:04:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036463Are you a “writer”. Or just a gossip? The child’s mother sounds uncannily like the all-too common grown-up brand of bully. They do exist, you know. I’m with Kendzior. The anthropologist. Don’t speak up/out – and simply put, you’re part of the problem.
]]>By: Sprinkleshttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036461
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 09:58:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036461Emma, in one of Long’s blog posts, she insinuates in all seriousness that her ex-husband made an attempt on her life. Did I miss that episode of Home Improvement?

There is a real possibility that Long herself is mentally ill. Why should it be so taboo to consider it? There is not supposed to be any stigma against mental illness anymore. That’s the whole point.

Your own magazine has published pieces about living with narcissistic parents and the impact it can have on children. Multiply that to malignant levels, add paranoia and a preoccupation with death (it’s all in her blog) and it does not sound like a picnic for a 13-year-old who is reminded every day that “It’s impossible to predict what will set him off”.

]]>By: Ellen Perengehttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036459
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 09:06:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036459She should have done it a different way… like not use his picture for one. I can understand a parent coming out and talking about how they have a child with mental illness, but she used her real name. She should have changed everyones names, not just the boys… especially since it’s useless when she put his pic up. All anyone has to do is look her up, see the picture and realize who exactly the boy is. Someone who is too young, and at the moment not capable of defending himself.
Talk about mental illness, but don’t point fingers. We need to more aware of this situation but why have someone who is now going to get made fun of in public and maybe end up ‘snapping’ like people before him? People from their hometown will know who he is at any rate because she used her real name.
]]>By: intoniohttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036457
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 06:37:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036457She splashed her kid’s photo across the Internet and compared him to a mass murderer so she could get on TV. That is despicable.
]]>By: ellahttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036455
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 04:04:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036455Did anyone notice she described kinda attempting to murder her son in her blog?

Below she’s describing her decision not to scale a dangerous cliff face…
and her failure to tell her son not to, her failure to warn him of the
danger and how she sort of goads him into making the attempt–the attempt
she feels has a 75% chance of ending in death

“I am not going to even pretend I wasn’t tempted—a sudden picture of
Jesus standing on a mountain top with Satan, surveying the world,
flashed through my mind. But my confidence factor was a mere 25%–in
other words, I was only 25% sure that I could cross the space beneath me
and cling to the other side.

Nate started playing with his rope, putting a few “Man vs. Wild” moves into practice as he swung the teal nylon cord across the abyss, catching it on the opposite side.

I had already made my decision when I said to him, with utter calmness,
“Crossing that crevasse is a selfish act. If you want to do it, I will
stand here and take your picture when or if you reach the summit. But
it’s selfish. And I will not follow you.”

I was speaking to myself. But Nate heard me. For several minutes. he
thought about what I said, and in the end, he too decided not to cross. I
knew exactly how courageous that decision was.”

The “decision” she’s referring to is “choosing” not to die. Is there anything that can be done to rescue this boy from his mother?

]]>By: truthhttp://www.macleans.ca/uncategorized/re-the-backlash-against-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/#comment-1036453
Thu, 20 Dec 2012 03:27:00 +0000http://www2.macleans.ca/?p=330265#comment-1036453They’re both a couple of losers. Long: who exposes her kids to public ridicule? Shame on you. The reason they are that way is clearly because of you and your husband (not just your husband). Bad parents == bad children in your case. Kendzior: get a hobby.
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