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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Tweet, Tweet

The author and her firstborn, together again after a long separation.

I'm going to get real with you all. I can do that, you know, when properly medicated.

I'm annoyed with Melanie Jacobson at the moment. And if she refers to our most recent text conversation or possibly e-mail exchange (or was it smoke signals?) she'll know why. Melanie made a decision regarding her national market book that I thoroughly disagree with, mostly because she's a good person and good people can be irritating to those of us possessed of a superfluity of naughtiness.

And that's a quote straight out of the New Testament, so you see the kind of dilemma I constantly find myself in.

However, since the last time I reviewed one of Melanie's books I turned the entire thing into a post about my legs (and if you had my legs, you'd be tempted to do the same thing, believe you me) I am determined to keep this about her, and her talent, and her absolute, utter awesomeness. And not about my determination to have company in the Diet Coke section of the Terrestrial Kingdom. (What? I'm naughty, not evil. I think TerKin -- as locals will call it once I get there -- is a likely landing spot for me and my superfluity.)

So, you no doubt figured out that Mel's got a new book out, which in the Library of Melanie's Cranium is actually a sort of old book on accounta it's the first one she wrote but the third one she's published.

Welcome to the wild-n-wacky world o' wordsmithing.

And in the even wilder and wackier world o' book reviewing, no one has had a chance to read it before weighing in on it. So I think that just goes to show that anyone who blogs about Twitterpated would be quite comfortable in Congress.

But folks who know me will tell you that a complete lack of relevant data has never prevented me from forming an opinion about something and then blathering on and on about it until I've browbeaten thousands of former friends into agreeing with me. Goodness, that's like saying that one has to be hungry before eating. Who came up with that rule??

So here's my opinion of Twitterpated, an opinion I will now defend until the end of time:

The title's awesome.

The cover art is clever.

I love that Mel's name is as big as the title of her book.

You absolutely can count on this book being fun and entertaining and completely recommendable to the girls in your MIA Maid class.

I can pretty much guarantee that the only thing Twitterpated will have in common with Hunger Games is that they're both written in English.

I see this as a good thing, no matter how many slobbering fans assure me that a book about parents cheering from the stands as two children fight to the death isn't really as bad as it sounds.

Melanie's next book should be about my legs.

I'm not entirely certain why you're still sitting there. Start shopping, for heaven's sake. The book is available at[Dear Google, please find the places where Melanie's books are sold and insert their names, locations, and maps here] which of course is just where you'd expect to find them, right?

7 comments:

Dear DeNae,I would like you to consider hosting a bunch of enamored friends/acquaintenances at your house someday, so that we can just breathe you in and listen to stories about your legs. When you make out the guest list, put my name on the top, please.Oh and give me more than a week's notice so I can start packing and make the drive over to your side of the Rockies.

I thought I already told you that I started the next book and it's about your legs. It's as yet untitled, but in a stroke of genius, I've named them Righty and Lefty. Only I change YOUR name to Chesty McLove. Hope you don't mind.

About Me

Humorist, essayist, public speaker, college professor, and all-around swell gal. Or at least relatively harmless. I have a degree in music ed and have never taught school. I'm married to a guy in law enforcement even though I swore I'd rather hitch my wagon to a carney than worry about my husband's need to strap on a gun to go to work. And I've lived all over creation despite my certainty that I'd never leave my hometown. Clearly, the life I signed up for has been on backorder for 29 years. Good thing I'm enjoying this 'loaner' while I wait for FedEx to deliver my real one!

Just before we left Puerto Rico, we took a canoe trip to a bio-luminescent bay -- 'luminescent' meaning 'all lit up' and ...

Mother Knows Best!

Everyday Stories by Everyday Mormons

My Favorite Quote

"“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” --Marianne Williamson

Hmmm...can I keep it brief?

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