"It ain't no sin, it ain't no crime, it's
just a dance we do in the summertime - Burn
baby, Burn baby, Burn baby, BURN Tonight!" I
still remember this snatch of lyric, and a
chord pattern of ascending minor thirds. The
song, a lighthearted look at the Harlem riots,
was one of several equally bizarre songs Walter
and his friend played for me that day. Then they
wanted to know where they could find work playing these
songs -- but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was the kid -- a 14-year-old guitarist in a band
of 17-year-olds. In our year or so of existence,
we were called The First Foundation Blues Band
(after Asimov), Chaos, and finally, The Pipe Dreams.
We played Socialist Workers Party Youth dances,
high school proms, and even did a one-nighter at
the Night Owl Cafe, where we callously fired our
bass player between shows. Our last performance
was a Sunday afternoon "concert" at the Bitter
End, for which we gave away so many freebie tickets
that we ended up splitting 50 cents four ways,
after the house got its cut. Then all the other
guys went away to college.

My ex-bandmates had seemed all-powerful, all-knowing.
They had actually taken drugs. They had actually
had sex with their girlfriends. But perhaps most
awe-inspiring was Walter. He played guitar and
harmonica well. He had an encyclopedic knowledge
of music and musicians -- even esoteric stuff like
Coltrane and Sun Ra.

Walter gave me invaluable nuggets of advice interspersed
with stories so wild, no intelligent person would
believe them. He told me to listen to Buddy Guy
playing with Junior Wells to learn how to play
funky and with restraint - great advice for any
guitarist. But then he told me about some guy named
Jimmy James at the Cafe Wha' who, Walter claimed, played
guitar with his teeth. I was sure Walter was
teasing me, as the older guys often did.

So Walter went away to Bard College. The Pipe Dreams
were disbanded and forgotten. I joined other bands,
and started making pocket money playing frat parties
and mixers. Then one Winter Break, I got a call
from Walter. He was in town and wanted to visit
me. I said OK.

Walter came over with this weird, nerdy looking
friend of his from Bard. His friend sat at my piano
and they played "Burn, Baby Burn". They asked me
where they could find work.

I have to admit that I was freaked out by the whole
experience. On some level I may have appreciated
that Walter was a visionary, but I strongly suspected
that he had a couple of screws loose. I told Walter
and his friend that I thought their songs were
really strange and I didn't know where they could
find work. They left. [Editor's
note: What my nerdy pal and I actually asked Jon
that day was whether he wanted to be part of the
band we were trying to start. He told us he was
way into the blues band he was playing with at
the time, and that was the end of that. Evidently
this particular detail cannot be accessed by the "Jon
Gordon" personality particule at this time. Rebirthing,
or maybe a session or two with the Production PuppetsTM,
should be able to help Jon make contact with this
painful and traumatic memory.]

A number of years later, I was
in the audience at a taping for a Don Kirshner-type
rock concert show. The lineup included a new
group called Steely Dan. I had heard Steely Dan
on the radio and was curious to see them. Then
I saw Walter milling around near the stage. I
went over to say hi.

Walter asked me how I was, and I droned on and
on about some band I was in at the time. Then Walter
said he had to go, and offered to bring me backstage.
I said no thanks.

Later, when Steely Dan took the stage, I was very
surprised to see Walter and his weird piano-playing
friend fronting the band. And that is how I discovered
that, at the age of 15, I had turned down Steely
Dan.

The End

Since
missing the Steely Dan boat, Jon Gordon
went on to work as guitarist and musical
director for Madonna and Suzanne Vega.
Jon is featured as a soloist on three
of Ms. Vega's U.S. singles, including
triple Grammy nominee "Luka" for which
he shares arranging credit. He now works
as a music producer, arranger and composer
at his own studio facility, Jon Gordon
Music Productions, in New York City.