WACO — When Greg Abbott was paralyzed by a fallen tree in 1984, Mark Phariss flew 500 miles to his friend’s bedside. They were law school pals who swapped stories over dinner, job leads and airport rides, and they still exchange Christmas cards today.

Their friendship is now at an extraordinary junction: Phariss, who is gay, filed the Texas lawsuit that a federal judge used this week to strike down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage, which Abbott, Texas’ attorney general, has vowed to defend all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Both chalk it up as a remarkable coincidence. Abbott, a Republican who is running for governor, said Friday he still considers Phariss a friend, even though they’ve lost touch in the past decade.

Phariss, who never told Abbott he was gay, echoed the sentiment — even as Abbott works to uphold what Phariss considers to be discrimination.

“If I was only friends with the people I agreed with, particularly in Texas, I wouldn’t have many friends,” Phariss said.

Texas joined Oklahoma and Utah as the latest deeply conservative states that want to take newly quashed gay marriage bans to the Supreme Court. A federal judge in San Antonio ruled Wednesday that Texas had no reason to deny same-sex couples the right to marry, but he declined to enforce his decision pending Abbott’s appeal.

Intriguing backdrop

Whatever the outcome, the history between Abbott and Phariss adds an intriguing backdrop to one of the most divisive social issues in the U.S.

Abbott made clear at a campaign stop Friday he doesn’t approve of Phariss’ quest to wed his partner of 16 years, Victor Holmes, an Air Force veteran. He also expressed no sympathy at the thought of refusing the Plano couple the right to marry.

“When the Constitution is upheld, we’re all winners,” Abbott said.

Abbott said Friday that he only realized Phariss was gay when his name appeared on the lawsuit. He said Phariss’ sexuality doesn’t change his opinion of him.

“It shows that on some of the hot-button issues of the day, we can have a civil discourse without harsh rhetoric,” Abbott said.

Phariss and Abbott met at Vanderbilt Law School. Phariss described two Southerners — Phariss is from Oklahoma — as ideological opposites drawn together by their enjoyment of discussing politics over breezy dinners.

After leaving Vanderbilt, Abbott was crushed by a falling tree in Houston while out jogging. He was left permanently paralyzed from the waist down, and upon hearing the news, Phariss flew to the hospital and spent two days with Abbott. He bought books to help him pass the time and kept Abbott’s wife and mother company. A year later, Phariss said, Abbott helped line up a job offer for him.

In the 1990s, when Abbott entered politics and was elected a state judge and later a Texas Supreme Court justice, he flew to San Antonio for a campaign stop. Phariss picked him up at the airport and drove him to meetings and a fundraiser.

Detecting no animosity

Phariss, now 54 and an attorney, said he was not openly gay at Vanderbilt. He didn’t publicly reveal he was gay until his mid-30s.

He said that while he and Abbott never discussed gay rights, he never detected hatred from his friend — one of Texas’ most conservative political leaders.

“I don’t perceive from him any animus toward gay people,” Phariss said. “I do remember, either in law school or after, [talking] about someone we thought might have been gay — we just kind of speculated whether a certain person might be gay. He didn’t seem to have an issue with that.”

Along with other same-sex couples, Phariss and Holmes sued the state after being denied a wedding license on their anniversary last August.

Phariss said the last time he and Abbott spoke was in Austin around 2004, shortly after Abbott became attorney general. He said Abbott won’t get his vote for governor this fall because of his politics, but neither will Democrat Wendy Davis, Phariss said, because he doesn’t like the idea of voting against his friend.

Phariss compared his continued embrace of Abbott to family members, including his twin sister, who don’t support him but whom he said he still loves.

After Phariss and Holmes began putting a portrait of themselves on Christmas cards, Phariss said, he noted which friends and family members would send a card back the following year — and which wouldn’t.