Empathy Gaps: Why We Do What We Do

Have you ever wanted to do something different, follow a schedule or keep up the New Year resolutions you’ve made? The answer is, you’ve tried and probably failed in the process and you’re not alone! There’s a reason you fell short, it’s ‘Empathy Gaps‘.

‘Empathy Gaps‘ is basically our inability to feel a different state/emotion while being in another state/emotion. Eh?

To put it more clearly, let’s use an example. You decide that you won’t be eating junk food from tomorrow. You make up your mind, everything’s set and the next day, you see fried food and all the motivation you built up, the reasons you made disappear. You don’t remember them. You go on to eat it and after you’ve satisfied your hunger, you feel guilty and bad. We all know this feeling. Right?

You can try and apply this phenomenon to every situation and the conclusion is pretty much in line with this effect. We simply fail to imagine and understand the different emotions we might feel being in a different state from which we are in, currently.

Empathy Gaps also point to our inability in understanding what others feel. While, the opposite person might be in the same environment as you are but their understanding and perception of the situation might be different, which does not mean they are at fault. When we are unable to relate to the opposite person, there’s an ‘Empathy Gap’ which is at play and causes a bias.

Knowing that a word exists for this ‘feeling’ was itself, a revelation.

Why do we do it?

We do it because we arestate-dependent. We react, act and decide based on the current state we are in. Even though the decision taken might have a long term impact, we go on reacting based on our current state. The popular adage, advising us to not take decisions while being angry, probably stems from this fact.

How do we address it?

The first thing to analyzing or solving a problem is to acknowledge that it exists. And, to accept that there’s an inherent bias in us.

Try to be self- aware. Look out for Empathy Gaps and actually ‘live the moment’. We’re basically the product of our habits and we mostly function subconsciously. Change that and live each moment consciously.

Also, knowing how ‘Empathy Gaps’ work can help in modifying your reaction to a certain situation.