Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Ugly Truth

I don't take criticism well. No, I don't get offended, tell the person they're crazy, and storm off in diva-like fashion. Criticism crushes me—as in I'm a crap writer, I should quit now, and I will never be able to make my book what I want it to be. It doesn't matter how nice or mean the critique is, that's how I feel immediately after. It's the perfectionist in me. I hate to fail, and crits make me feel like I failed myself, my characters, and the reader. Dude, that's like TRIPLE FAIL.

But guess what? I get over it. Eventually.

Once the initial shock and despair over reading the critique lifts, I somehow find a way to pick myself up and form a plan to fix things. And once I have a plan, things suddenly don't look so bad. I can do it—I just have to follow my plan.

I stopped writing for a long time, thinking maybe I wasn't cut out for this kind of constant critique and rejection. Then I started writing again, thinking maybe if I took enough pain my skin would get tougher and the crit and rejection wouldn't hurt. But now I know that for me it will always hurt, I'll cry more often than not, and I'll consider quitting more than I like to admit. Then I will brush myself off and keep on keeping on.

It's hard to hear how something you have worked so hard on is less than perfect. To a degree, I think you have to take critiques and criticism with a grain of salt. It doesn't matter what you write or how you write it, someone is always, always, always going to find something wrong.

Obviously, some folks' critiques mean more than others. I think the best you can hope for is to find several writing buddies that you respect and let them devour you MS.

As writers, I think it's hard for us to see the forrest for the trees. An element of your story can be so off, but you just can't see it. That was the case for a short story of mine that I posted yesterday.

From what I've seen, Natalie, I think you are on the "write" track. Keep up the hard work!

Natalie..it's very brave of you to admit that this bothers you! I never believe people when they say it doesn't. Keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the writers that face adversity and don't give up who eventually make it.

I always have to take deep breaths during critiques. Give myself time...think about it....then it usually starts to make sense to me. I am grateful for those who are willing to go out on a limb and help me see my work more objectively. Those are the best kinds of friends.

When I meet with my writing group and I am brave enough to read something (I AM the biggest chicken in the world about sharing new stuff...I used to have a deal that every time I prefaced my piece by saying "I know this is really crappy, but...," I had to buy the group either a drink or a donut, depending on their choice. When you are a poor teacher, those drinks add up!! But I was desperate! I needed to stop sabotaging my own writing.)

Anyway, I started looking at feedback in a different way, so I wouldn't be so fearful of it, and so that I could afford to eat. I realized that I write mainly to amuse/entertain myself. I am the boss of the manuscript. It exists first and foremost because I had some need to write it. Before I share it, I need to feel pretty strongly that *I* like it. (If I don't, I need to fix it so that I do.)I also realized that I had a certain amount of control of the critique. What did I want to know from my readers? Hmmmm.....well, of course I want to know that it's good.....I want them to love it.....but that's sometimes hard to know for sure....are they just saying they like it because they like me?...ohhhh, the mind games of a writer!So, I developed a little system of what I ask for from my readers. Really, I want to know if they experienced what I wanted them to when I wrote it, and the way that I find out is three-fold. What I want to know is:

Remember: I want to know what they remember from the story after they finish reading it. What were the strongest parts? (If I've written an amazing scene and nobody even mentions it....well, maybe I need to look at it again.)

Like: I want to know what they liked about it (this part makes me happiest!)

Questions: I want to know what questions they have. (This lets me know areas that are maybe more difficult to understand than I thought...helps with character motivation as well, ex: "Why does the main character react run off when she sees.....")

Because, in the end, I can only write the story I can write, the one that wants to come out of me.

Sorry this was soooo long. And you are not a wuss....any more than the rest of us are. You just care a lot about your book. And that is a good thing.

Natalie Whipple

I am a YA writer and card-carrying nerd. My favorite areas of the nerd realm include anime, Korean dramas, good cheese, and playing mmorpgs with my family. I take pride in writing the weirdest books I can think of, and my novels TRANSPARENT and BLINDSIDED, HOUSE OF IVY & SORROW, and RELAX, I'M A NINJA are just some of my wacky ideas. I'm repped by Ginger Clark of Curtis Brown, LTD.