Meditations 001: Absolute Focus

[6.17 – 2 a.m] I began meditation with the basic routine i normally begin with. Focus on breathing –> Let the thoughts flow (verbally) –> Move past verbal thoughts then focus on visual thoughts—>Move past visual thoughts and focus on body sensations. The main lesson of this meditation for me was absolute focus. After I began the breath awareness focus the visions began to come in.

(eyes closed) The first quick image that appeared was a baby with angel wings sitting toward the right of me. Almost like a costume that a child would wear during halloween. I also had visions of a man dressed as a woman in a blue dress. That vision was weird lol and I realized not focusing on/ looking directly at the vision seemed to increase the time it was present. I began to focus less on the visuals and more on the flow of energetic sensations from breathing. There is a swaying feeling that begins to occur when I control the flow of inhalation and exhalation. The next step I usually take is concentrating this swaying/energy on to one point. I focused on directing the swaying/energy to my solar plexus.

“Absolute focus” was required in order to build the energy. By absolute focus I mean not allowing any distractions or thoughts to take away from the goal of concentrating the energy into one place, even if focusing it make you feel or experience something new remain focused on the primary objective not the results of it. The way i like to describe how the energy feels: At first its like your receiving sensations that your body is swaying when it is still. It is possible that your physical body can begin swaying but by focusing it or concentrating it to a certain point (solar plexus , heart , pineal etc) it feels like a charge begins to build and the swaying stabilizes. Where you direct this energy will determine what you will experience next.

After I focused on my solar plexus the swaying began to stabilize and my breathing changed from deep to shallow. I always found that interesting I still don’t seem to have it figured out yet. There is a time to breathe consciously and a time to just let your body flow as it feels. I redirected my attention to my eyes and began breathing on my own again, specifically focusing on the darkness created when the eye lids are closed. The idea is to use your eyes the same way you would if they were open but when they are closed. The focal point as my eyes are closed seemed to be at a distance because when I refocused by accident it felt like I adjusted to look at something closer to me. I could feel what I think to be my pineal gland functioning. From my experience it feels like a subtle pressure within your forehead. The visual cues for me is seeing light patterns/signals in the dark (eyes closed). That is when I know the visuals are about to begin or that part of my brain is now beginning to work.

Once I focused in on breathing and cleared my other thoughts I began to see water. The pattern was the same as if you were watching water move in a pool and the light castes shadows on the floor of the pool in a weave like motion.

Seeing this made me smile. Even though I Identified what I was seeing as water or the reflection of water I tried to see if anything was “in” the water but it just seemed to be reflection. The sensation I felt on my skin/body was similar to being in water I also felt bigger and as if I were moving through water but the density of it was more subtle than water. There was a pulsing happening in my palms, my hands were folded fingers crossed. The pulsing felt as if it were magnetic. If you were to try to push two magnets together, the sensation I felt was similar to the repelling force without the magnets being present. It felt like It was dark. My thoughts began to process everything to make sense of it. This led to being distracted and I started to wander off in thought instead of remaining in the moment with absolute focus. I realized I drifted from where I was and In attempt to regathering focus I started to think about visualizing a cube and it quickly appeared to my surprise very clearly. It was outlined by white and the rest was dark then formed into other shapes out of my control. At this point in the meditation about an hour or more had passed and my ability to hold a steady focus was fading into a slow nod to sleep.

It was a balance of staying focused on breathing and the sensation of energy but not allowing the effects of that process to create observational thoughts strong enough to be a distraction. I posted an article on the energetic breakdown that helped explain some of what I experienced. These are the questions I walked away with