Scooters take over USC one Razor at a time: but at what price?

The current traffic on Trousdale Parkway proves that USC students are quickly discovering the benefits of riding a kick scooter to class. But even with these foldable beauties popping up just about everywhere, scooter-riders are still discriminated against on on campus.

Serious scooter riders want students to know that they deserve just as much respect as their bicyclist and skateboard colleagues. “The prejudice needs to stop.” a scooter user said, and then proceeded to run into a bicycle.

Dining halls are also a problem for scootering freshmen. “I tried to put my scooter in the skateboard rack at Parkside, but it wouldn’t fit,” a Razor enthusiast told us. The freshman was then forced to go to EVK, where their scooter was attacked by pigeons and cats.

A current sophomore complained that scooter discrimination has gone on to affect his dating life. “I think she was pretty disappointed when I didn’t show up to the date on a Vespa.” he said.

When looking at the facts, it becomes clear that one could potentially get far more out of a child’s scooter from Toys R Us costing $17.99 than a bicycle or board:

-Scooters are deemed “useless” to thieves and therefore are far less likely to be stolen.

-Carrying such a scooter into class will definitely turn heads as they can be stashed awkwardly under desks or in the aisles.

-Those lacking the simple coordination to ride a skateboard will find comfort in the safety of padded handle bars.

“I personally love the feel of every nook and cranny on the sidewalk.” said one rider.

Some students have even chosen to amp up their scooter riding power with an upgrade from the basic models: the Xootr and Goped scooters currently start at $199.99 and provide more star power on the sidewalk. “At first I didn’t know what it was,” a student told us upon watching a Goped rider scoot away. “But then I realized it was just a really big scooter.”

Those who choose to see the good in the scooter phenomenon may find a new hobby at USC. “We may not fit in, but we’re here,” another student on Trousdale told us. “If you look at the DPS “Walk your Bike” signs in front of Tommy Trojan, there’s a picture of a bicycle, a skateboard, and yes… even a scooter.”

When asked whether students should walk their scooters, DPS responded: “We don’t give a shit.”

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