Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Insecure Writers Support Group

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Just had to let you all know I met with the advertising person and told him I would not be using the ad he created for YouTube and why. Although he said it was hard to hear, he understood completely. We were able to talk it through and come to a mutually satisfying agreement on how to continue working together. I know that standing up for myself and speaking my truth will not always result in positive outcomes, but it sure felt good to say what I needed to say and let go of the result. Another key factor was saying what I needed to say without judging, criticizing or blaming either myself or the other person, but rather speaking from a place of inner peace. This is brand new territory for me.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My surgery has been postponed until April 7, so I have a little time to reflect. Getting my book published and sending it out into the universe is a monumental achievement. Now I need to practice letting go each and every day. Letting go of attachment to results, letting go of attachment to needing a certain response from someone, letting go of attachment to someone else's emotional well-being. The list goes on.

My memoir chronicles my journey from having no sense of self to becoming comfortable inside my own skin--from being unable to stand or speak up for myself to speaking my truth. Recently that ability has been tested. I hired an advertising person to create a 1 minute ad about "Following the Whispers" to place on YouTube. We met to discuss creative concepts and agreed on one. He said the project could be completed in 10 hours and we set a price.

When he sent me the first few frames of the ad, I was horrified. The images were awful, the sound effects grim and the overall effect of the piece did not reflect me or my book at all. When I said I wasn't happy with it, the advertising person said he's already spent close to the 10 hours we'd agreed upon. I was faced with having to spend more money, which I wasn't willing to do, or accept what he had created. He told me it would take too long to start from scratch.

A few days later, he suggested we do an exchange of services, rather than a money exchange. I agreed. I was told he had already spent approximately 26 hours on my project. He never asked me if it was okay to go past the 10 hours we'd agreed upon. I didn't say anything. I just said I would begin working on creating a marketing plan for his business (my piece of the exchange agreement).

When I showed the finished ad to a friend who has been in advertising for many years, he said,"Karen, this is awful. It's unprofessional. The voices are hard to hear. It doesn't reflect you or your book. Don't use it."

As soon as he said those words, I knew that was my truth about the ad as well. I had been unwilling to admit it to myself, because then I would have to tell the truth to the advertising person as well. And I didn't want to hurt his feelings or create a conflict in the working relationship.

Ah, the sense of relief when I finally do acknowledge the reality. Now I have a meeting arranged where I will speak my truth. I will say it as gently and lovingly as I can, but I can't control his reactions. I will take responsibility for my part in the situation, i.e. not saying up front that I was unhappy with the execution and that it needed to be changed. But I am not responsible for his response.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Almost as exciting as seeing my book on a shelf in the bookstore is seeing it listed on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble. I am getting wonderful feedback from those who have read it. Now that I have begun twittering, ninging, yahooing and blogging, I am making connections with others who are either writers or those with similar interests and issues. I am still trying to get the hang of all this internet connectedness and spending way too much time reading and responding to messages.

My blog posts might be a bit sparse in the next few weeks, as I am having surgery on my right shoulder next Tuesday and I'm not sure if I'll be able to work on the computer.

"I quote Martha Graham on making dance: "It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions." Graham goes on to write to her friend Agnes DeMille that it is only her business to keep it uniquely hers. She understood that our lives are as individual as snowflakes. That we must, if we are artists -- hell, if we are human beings -- be focused only on the work, and letting go. The work, and letting go."

Dani Shapiro

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“Success is a finished book, a stack of pages each of which is filled with words. If you reach that point, you have won a victory over yourself no less impressive than sailing single-handed around the world.