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My immigrant wife is abusive to me physically, psychologically, and financially. I do not want to sign the I-751 to remove conditions. In almost two years of her being in the US, I have literally done everything, while she literally does nothing. This is not an exaggeration. She and the animals would be dead 100 times over because she refuses to take care of herself or them, while demanding that I do it all. She plays video games or watches tv on the computer all day. She is the most anti-social person I’ve encountered. I have recorded audio of her saying “We do not live a life of wife and husband,” and she is exactly right. She has never once performed a function of a spouse or shared a single responsibility.

Divorce doesn’t solve anything. I will still have financial obligations per immigration law (I-864). It is truly sad the law protects deceitful and exploitive immigrants over its own citizens.

I cannot go to the police when she abuses me because she is a narcissistic sociopath. She has called the police on several occasions because once I told her to get up off her butt and do something, and another time because I told her that I’m not her slave and she can make her own coffee if she wants it. She has even said to me that if I ever call the police that she would hurt herself to make it look like I attacked her and the marks on me were in self defense. THAT’S SCARY. I also have recorded audio of her telling me that she was abusing the cat while I was away from the home getting groceries.

She receives mail that does not contain my last name that she took through marriage. She commits infidelity through online measures with two other men. I have pictures of the conversations. However, I know it’s not grounds for deportation.

She has never helped pay a bill, pay for food, make her own meal, wash her clothes, clean her mess, feed the animals. I have recorded of her saying that I’m supposed to do everything because I’m the American and she’s an immigrant. I am literally enslaved to her. I’ve wasted so much money on her and it was not by choice. When I tell her I’ve spent enough on her and she doesn’t use or wear what she has, I either get attacked physically or receive threats that she is going to call police and go to the women’s shelter. We have two cats because she threatened to call the police and go to the women’s shelter, and now I’m stuck taking care of two dogs and two cats myself. She has been to the women’s shelter once, the day I told her she needs to get off her butt and help around the house. She called the suicide hotline and the police came. I told the officers what I’ve been going through and they just looked at me like “Oh yeah guy? This little 5’2” girl is abusing you, eh?” I told them I didn’t want her coming back to the home and they took her to inpatient healthcare. She was released within 30 minutes and was transported to the women’s shelter where she stayed for three days.

Ever since the women’s shelter, I’ve received “If you don’t do _______, I’m going to call the police and go to the women’s shelter,” as if she was coached. I could write a 500 page book about my experience and it still wouldn’t be 10% of what I’ve going through.

To my point, I do not want to sign the I-751. She is abusive and destructive. I know with her being a narcissistic sociopath and expert liar and manipulator that she will lie that I’m abusive and file for the VAWA waiver. My question is, do I have the opportunity to refute her lies and provide evidence that I’m the victim here?

*This is Wisconsin so I do not need her consent to record audio.

Asked on 6/01/18, 10:43 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

You can call the police if she is physically abusive. You can get a restraining order. Your can file for divorce. However, you are still on the hook for the I-864 unless she naturalizes, pays into SS for 40 qtrs or dies.

You may want to speak with a Family Law Attorney instead of an Immigration Attorney.