I'm writting essay on city and the greenery. Is my English written in the detail box correct?

Does the sentence written below makes sense?"Make urban areas and farmlands(greenery) compatible to protect greenery."

What I want to say is,

We have been trying to improve our city and modernize it. But, on the other hand, the greenery and farmlands decreased a lot so fast. Now, in urban areas, most of the places are covered with asphalts, and lots of buildings made with concrete are constructed.I think, in older times, these kind of city with lots of high buildings and roads was the image of modern city, and to make it happen we can not keep farmlands together. But, as the time changes, we now start to think that farmlands(greenery) are also important for the city to be sustainable.So, we need to increase greenery in our city. However, it is unrealistic to destroy every buildings and change it to farmlands(greenery).The best way we could think of now is to make a city that could have both buildings and farmlands(greenery).

And, after these senteces the sentence above("Make urban ~greenery.") comes.I want to say that urban city and farmland(greenery) are not something imcompatible. And, we need to take measures to keep both of them.

I'm so sorry for writing so long, but if anyone could tell me whether the English is correct or not.Also, if it's not correct, could you let me know what vocabulary is appropriate.

Answers (2)

Hi I'm from the US. I'm not the best at English but I can help with a couple of things.

1)We have been trying to improve our city and modernize it. But, on the other hand, the greenery and farmlands decrease at a very quick rate. 2) In urban areas, most places are covered with asphalt, (and lots of buildings made with concrete are constructed.) rethink this... and lots of buildings are made of concrete or lots of buildings are constructed out of concrete.3)I think in older times, cities with high buildings and and lots of roads were the image of a modern city, and to make it happen we could not keep the farmlands together. But, as the time has changed, we now are starting to think that farmlands(greenery) are also important for the city to be sustainable as well.4)We need to increase greenery in our city, but it is unrealistic to destroy every building and change it to farmland(greenery).5)The best way we could think of is to make a city that could have both modern buildings as well as farmlands(greenery).

I hope this helps:) overall the english is very good. Just had some endings wrong and sentence structuring that needed to be reinforced. let me know if it helped!!

When thinking about environment, especially when writing essay, we Japanese tend to use difficult words and sentence.But the result is that the English itself become so wicked.

Your comment did help me so much.It's hard to know what is wrong and what is correct.Also, knowing that the English I wrote was understandable really gives me confidence, and make me think to make it better.

Hi,You have used the word 'compatible'. Very similar is the word 'coexistence'- defines the state in which two different things or groups of people exist together at the same time or in the same place.

I have an advice for you. I see what you're trying to do. You try to write about the way you speak English, not the way you write English. So hard you forget your purpose in writing your essay! My advice is think on writing written English only! In your case, think of translating written Japanese in written English! If necessary, consult your writing English lesson till you improve your writing in English better than before. It's not about you're a Japanese. It's about understanding that thinking about written English is differ from thinking about spoken English!