Born and raised on the mean streets of New York City's Upper West Side, Katie Halper is a comedian, writer and filmmaker. She is the host of the Katie Halper Show on WBA1, writes for places like The Nation, Feministing, Jezebel and appears on places like MSNBC, RT, Sirius radio (which hung up on her once). Katie's had her photo taken with Rudy Giuliani and was called "cute and somewhat brainy" by the National Review.

If only The Church cared as much about pedophiles as porn stars

A woman filmed herself exposing her breasts and touching herself in an Austrian parish, in June. She also was holding a bible and rosary, in case you were worried about her going to hell. A church-going-porn-fan was trying to enjoy some secular online porn, when he recognized the interior of his church. Like any church-going-porn-watching-upstanding-tattle-tale, he informed his local priest, in what I imagine must have been an uncomfortable discussion.

In a compliment to the woman’s handwork, the church expressed outrage that, in addition to her sneaking herself in, she had snuck in a crew and cameras. According to the Austrian Times, “Local police confirmed that no permission had been requested or given for the church to be used to shoot the movies….” I’m sure the church would have been more than happy to sign a release form authorizing the woman to shoot a porn in their house of worship. The Austrian Times also reported that The “Diocese of Linz said police are still investigating how the crew and actors were able to get into the church.” Then, the police realized that the quality and angles suggested this had been a DIY project, in a few aspects, actually.

But what could be done? Because, although the seductress showed off certain impressive attributes, she was careful not to film her face. In an attempt to apprehend the heretic, the authorities screened the video on local television. (It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.)

Enter another church-going-porn-watching-upstanding-tattle-tale, who was able to identify the woman when her breasts rang a (church) bell, and he recognized her assets. The woman’s given name has not been released, but her porn name is Babsi, and she moved to Austria from Poland as a young girl with her family.

Police spokeswoman Simone Mayr said, “The woman has confessed and has apologised…. ” She could pay a fine or face 6 months of jail time for “vilification of religious doctrines.”

The good news is that the church decided it does not have to be reconsecrated. Phew. Because, according to Priest Bernhard Pauer, “The presence of God cannot be driven out by sin.”

When I read this story, I had the same thought as I have when I read about the Catholic Church trying to save or ex-communicate “homosexuals.” Before worrying about other people’s sex lives, and consensual relationships, shouldn’t the institution concentrate on stomping out the sexual abuse that its leadership enables and/ or engages in? As of 2011, over 800 people came forward to say they had been victims of child abuse from within the Austrian Catholic Church. While a woman may face jail for sexy-time videos, Cardinal Hans Hermann Groer served no jail time and was allowed to resign amidst several allegations of sexual assault.

About the Author

Born and raised on the mean streets of New York City's Upper West Side, Katie Halper is a comedian, writer and filmmaker. She is the co-host of Morning Jew, writes for places like The Nation, Feministing, Jezebel and appears on places like MSNBC, RT, Sirius radio (which hung up on her once). Katie's had her photo taken with Rudy Giuliani and was called "cute and somewhat brainy" by the National Review.