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The Reverb Junkie’s ‘All I Want’ track list: An Introspection.

I have always been more than a little fascinated with the order of the world. I believe in some level of madness in all of working systems, of course. Therein lies the potential for a spark that separates from the norm. There can never be brilliance otherwise. Like Nietzsche said, you must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.

I have been looking at The Reverb Junkie’s placement of tracks and the cogs in my brain have been working around the various possibilities. Of course, the songs could have been placed in some form of random order. But I can’t help but notice that the album starts with ‘All I Want’ and ends with ‘Want Me Now’.

That pretty much made me want to sit down and unearth the subtexts and undercurrents of the album as a whole. (Yep, I am aware that XWarmm is listed as the last track here, but it’s a bonus track, which makes me see it as an epilogue of sorts. Allow me to ramble.)

Initially, it looked like a Derridean cyclical arrangement. The highs of All I Want plunging into the self-doubt of Everything and Hangin On, plummeting into the betrayal of Selfish before the rebirth and ecstasy of Eyoh (which all TRJ frans would know comes from the mid-points of the words “st(ay op)en” as heard in the uncut version of the track).

But unlike a circle, the tone of the album drops deeper, self-reflexivity in the humanity of Worth, before regaining ground in More Than Enough (this time actually looking at the value in a relationship versus the devaluation of it in Selfish), and then it falls (this time lyrically) in Bit by Bit, heightening vocal-wise in Tear Down Walls and then subdued once more with Want Me Now.

XWarmm is wordless; vibrations carrying us out of the complete album, an epilogue ushering us to the closing.

The album (to me) looks to be tracing some sort of life line. Erratic, uncertain but hopeful. Even when the words die out, the music doesn’t.

I wish I could draw a graph out. Unfortunately, it is past 1 am and I should sleep. Just my two cents!

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Very interesting. Please allow me to differ only slightly. I see the album as a continual downward spiral from being in love (one-sided) to extreme self-deprecation due to the betrayal of said love. Track 1 tells about what she wants, but the “like I always wanted to” eludes to a desire non-fulfilled. Track 2: “Did you mean it?” Uncertainty in the relationship. Track 3: “I’d like to know where we’re really at” “Please don’t leave me hanging on” Turning to desperation. Track 4: Realization of relationship being over and the betrayal of girlfriend. “Use me up” She feels completely used. Track 5: I can only label this as an “intermission”? of sorts? Comic relief? A break of acts between relationship with another and the self-relationship in the following songs. Track 6: “What is my worth based on?” Self doubt is setting in. Track 7: “I’m telling you, as you are is more than enough” Trying to lift self up as she sinks deeper. Track 8: She’s falling apart, asks: “How low?” she will go. Track 9: “Tell me when did you get so frickin small” “I’m worried soon I won’t even see you at all” Her self-worth is infinitesimal. So final track 10: she asks, Do you want me now? Does she want herself? Does anyone want her? And “bonus” track …. look at the lyrics….. they say only “Hmmmmmmmm” . Answer/unsure of answer to the previous question?
But that’s just MY take on things.
Interestingly, I have been deep in thought about the cover she chose. The two-fold juxtaposition of 1) putting her everything into the album and 2) not being one who puts weight in appearances versus the picture she chose on the album surprises me. If you think of the 5 senses: sight, sound, taste, touch, smell; it is interesting that the self-portrait has the eyes closed (effectively not allowing sight), no ears drawn, no mouth drawn, no nose drawn, no hands drawn. The senses are erased. What do we see? Her hair, glasses, and shirt, which yes, I realize give her “trademark” look, but puts the weight of the picture on her looks only! She effectively closes us out to what she “feels”. Ironic, considering her lyrics are steeped in feelings. But does she truly want to bare herself?
So yes, one could theorize that this is a sophomoric track about unrequited love and that TRJ is not ready to share her true “self” to the world. But really, as much as I “analyze” every bit and piece, the true fact is that she poured her heart and soul into making this album, it sounds freakin awesome and I am grateful for every itty bitty bit. She and her songs bring a smile to my face every SINGLE day, and she reminds me that mediocrity in life is not acceptable. She is a truly amazing and talented human being, and I hope she has a joyful life. If we could only be so talented and beautiful.
Peace,
TRJJ (the reverb junkie junkie)

I appreciate your interpretation of the track list, but what you said about the album cover blew my mind. Woah. I hadn’t noticed the details like you did. I do find it fascinating that all the human senses are not represented. I guess she takes the term “cover” to a whole new level, eh?

My only contention would be that she has headphones on, which means that the only available sense depicted is the sense of hearing, blocking out all over senses.

“I guess she takes the term “cover” to a whole new level, eh?” Ha, yes, you could say that!

And yes, you have a great point about the headphones…. It was getting late last night and I can see several interpretations on that so I didn’t even bring it up. Wish TRJ would share HER thought processes on her songs/lyrics/track placements. Would have loved to have been a fly on that wall.

Glad to see I’m not the only one psychoanalyzing the details. Just don’t get me started on why Michelle only shows us her feet in the “All I Want” video. ;-)

I wrote that entire analysis of her track list a) on my phone b) in the dark right c) before I fell asleep. *facepalm*

And I am planning to observe her video in detail and write my interpretation of it – because that is what geeks do – when I get the time to breathe.

DO TELL WHY YOU THINK MICHELLE ONLY SHOWS HER FEET PLEASE. I have half-formed ideas in my mind which aren’t fit for sharing (yet!) but I would definitely love to hear what possible interpretations of the video are out there.