Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I'm not really sure where to start. I know many of you hate me for just kind of leaving, but I guess you can say I was just running away from everything. Going to this blog was a constant reminder of what I was, and how much guilt I felt being with Nick. I apologize because many of you truly did care about me, but I was so ashamed of who I was. I was running away from all the mean spirited opinions constantly sent to my email. I really couldn't handle what everyone had to say when I didn't even know what they looked like. I couldn't even get advice from the people I was closest too, so instead I sought out for help from complete strangers. Something felt wrong. I never thought that hiding things from my friends, family, and loved ones would be the root of so much guilt. And this blog was a physical manifestations of all that I was hiding, and I feared confronting it. I always thought I could live my life hiding things from everyone, but I realized that I can't. People tell me that I shouldn't of started something I couldn't end. My response to that, is that I had no intention of ending this. I knew it was only a matter time.

So the first order of business was to delete all my old posts, I never want to look at them again. But with that, I am starting a new chapter in my life. Being single for almost a year now has allowed me to expand on things I realize are more important to me. I can't let being gay be a constant issue in my life. So just as a warning, this blog is getting a face lift. Its no longer going to be that gay relationship blog. Its going to be about my life, and what I learn from family, friends, school, and just random people I meet on the street. I used to write about Nick because I knew it would get me the most views, but now I can careless who reads this blog. It is truly a place where I come and vent, a journal per se. I learn so much more from the people I truly care about, then the booty call that was Nick.

I'm glad you're back. Its your blog and always has been. Write what you will and those that want to read will come back. So, not only have we started a new year but you've picked up the pieces and decided to carry on! Great stuff!!!

I'm glad you're back. I hope you sign online again too, haven't talked to you in SO long.

It's your blog, you can do whatever you want with it. Whatever you post about you'll have readers. But don't post BECAUSE of us or FOR us (well, at least not most of the time XD), but post because and for you.

Welcome to this clean slate, I look forward to reading the reincarnation of your blog.