One of the shocking revelations of the Swifthacking of CRU one year ago (aka Climategate) was the fact that scientists can be downright nasty. Contrary to all previous indications, scientists are not always shy, reserved and polite, prefering the inside of a lab to any possibility of confrontation.

After three long months of studying ice core samples in the Antarctic, a multidisciplinary climate research team presented startling evidence showing that all of the scientists on the team have become absolutely impossible to live with.

Edmundson claims the findings also show that living in isolation at the bottom of the world with some of the most annoying people on the planet induces significant time dilation making “every godforsaken day seem to last forever”. He was also astonished with data indicating that 80% of the 5-person team couldn’t conduct a decent mass spectroscopy test if their lives depended on it.

“They really are quite incompetent,” Edmundson said of the rest of the team, adding that he “would have had better luck teaching three penguins and a leopard seal to do a proper air-sampling.”