“HA! You want to hear my discovery? You think you do, but you don’t.
“Very well. I constructed a microscope more powerful than van Leeuwenhoek’s, I saw his animalcules up close. I noticed their behavior was organized and deliberate, like a deck crew.
“That’s right; humans are the sailing ships of the animalcules. We have no free will. We obey their every command. Our thoughts are plotted courses. Even sex is merely docking with another vessel for passenger transfer.
“That’s why I’m in this asylum, Doc. I have malfunctioned; I am a derelict ship, sending a distress call, awaiting repair.”