Over the back of my neighbourhood is some waste ground with old warehouse buildings, that a lot of seagulls use to nest on.

That's fine, apart from the noise early morning, they don't really bother anyone.

Until now.

One of the gulls has decided to nest on my neighbours roof.
The chicks have hatched and now if anyone four or five houses either side of my neighbour goes into their back garden they get attacked by angry mama and papa gulls.

This madness has to stop.

There's two options:

1. Call the RSPB and explain the situation to them and see if they can move the nest.

2. I get nasty and kill them. Somehow.

So barring option one, if I decided to kill the gulls (parents and kids) would it (a)be legal [in the UK] and (b) be difficult?

My girlfriend has always refused to let me buy an air rifle.
Is this the excuse I'm looking for to persuade her otherwise?

Should I soak bread in a rat poison solution and throw it onto the roof?

I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

The sensible thing to do would be calling someone else to deal with them but I really am beginning to hate these damn seagulls and want a roaring rampage of bloody revenge on them.

CHOTEAU, Mont. (AP) - Talk about stupid pet tricks: David Letterman found a bear in his cabin over the weekend, and needed help from a local teenager to get the animal to leave.
Letterman told viewers on CBS'"Late Show" about a bear that came into his home before dawn and started rummaging around his kitchen.
... Letterman turned to some locals, including the hero of the story, Brandon Lightner.
Letterman called his friend and ranch manager, Chip Kearns of Choteau, who "knows everything and runs everything and is a Marine and he's the guy you want to call when you've got a bear in your kitchen."
After chasing the bear around the house for a few hours, they called in Lightner - and his M-80s. They dropped the large firecrackers into a room where the bear was sleeping, chasing it out.
"If you ever are in that situation, call a high school kid," Letterman said. "Get those M-80s and your problems are over, ladies and gentlemen."

Go with option one, or wait it out. Gulls are self sufficient within 6 or 7 weeks of hatching.

I don't agree with killing animals/birds (especially with poison) because they are an inconvenience or a temporary annoyance. I used to live in the country and was constantly being swooped by nesting magpies, I wore a hat.

I'd wait until the thing runs its course, then clear away the nest and take measures against them makeing a new one in the same place next year.

I had a problem with starlings nesting in the corners of my roof; they had actually made a hole through the wooden fascia (actually, it might have been squirrels that started the hole); I waited until they were gone in the autumn and covered the hole with a piece of alloy - no more problems.

Wouldn't you be charged with animal cruelty if you were caught? Just today in Tulsa, someone spotted a pigeon trap under an underpass with a few dead pigeons and one live one. There was a news story about it--the animal control officers said if they found out who did it, it would be an animal cruelty charge.

- - - If shooting them is legal, then you could find someone who already has an airgun to shoot them for you. Try asking about local shooting clubs in airgun shops (this also gives you an excuse to go into an airgun shop! :D ). -And if shooting them isn't legal, then the shop owner will probably know.
~

Sorry to break it to you, but in the UK (AFAIK) ALL seabirds are protected species to some extent, so killing them, or damaging their nests would land you in a whole heap of trouble. You could try the RSPB, but my guess is that they will tell you to wait it out, or worse send Bill Oddie and a crack team of BBC cameramen to try to set up for the next breeding season to see the chicks etc. They might be able to give you some advice on how to discourage them from setting up camp there in future, but other than that I can't see many more options.

Oh, and definately don't use an air rifle, the maximum power in the UK without an FAC is 12ft/lb muzzle energy, and that is not enough to get a clean kill reliably on something the size of a seagull. Also, it would give ammunition (yes, I see the pun) to those who would like to see them banned in this country (yes american dopers, they even want to take away our air guns) who will get a story in the local paper about the evil madman terrorising local wildlife with a weapon tha anyone can buy and isn't it a disgrace and something must be done (cue wailing and gnashing of teeth).

Alka Seltzer works, I have seen it. When I was a teenager in the early to mid 80's we were all out on a small island called Sandy Point - it is completely inundated with seabirds. One of my dumbass friends at the time embedded a hotdog role with several alka seltzer. The bird gulped it down in one large gulp, and flew away....We we all watching as it came in and out of picking up more and more bread. Then it flew to the ground and started violently slamming it's self into the sand. More and more over a roughly 5 minute period. It was a violent scene one I do not want to see again. Watching this poor animal suffer so tragically. I did not laugh.

As per your OP - we use 50 pound test monofiliment fishing line spaced 4 feet apart over our dock and ramada. We don't see the line but the birds will not fly into the area covered by the fishing line. Works wonders. It is a good option for keeping the birds away.

I've heard that UK folksreeeeeeally love animals, so I don't know how either of these plans would go over with your neighbors. Anyway...

Buy or borrow a big dip net like anglers use to grab a hooked fish. Take it out to the garden. When the gull swoops, whirl around with the net and, zonch. I don't know about Scotland, but, if a wild animal attacks you here, you're allowed to defend yourself.

Seagulls I've met are aggressive feeders. I've seen seagulls alarm fishermen by grabbing bait in mid-cast. Er, I don't think I need to say any more.

One of the gulls has decided to nest on my neighbours roof.
The chicks have hatched and now if anyone four or five houses either side of my neighbour goes into their back garden they get attacked by angry mama and papa gulls.

This madness has to stop.

I can feel your pain

I don't see why these birds should have legal immunity. I live in Cardiff and we havee thousands of those seagulls. They shit all over the place and they are very aggresive. Snuffing a couple of them would be good for the city.

Apparently you can hire a "hawk man" from the zoo that you can hire.
His hawk destroys the nest and chases the gulls away.

Sounds interesting but it's expensive and I don't really want to ask the neighbours for money that'll see a bird of prey killing baby gulls.
For some reason my neighbour still thinks the babies are cute

I'm going to wait it out and when the chicks have left the nest go up and destroy it and get something down to stop them doing it again.

I can understand the urge to kill them, but unlike the damn frogs whom no one will remove except the ducks, you've got a reasonable way to deal with them in option one. Isn't it better to call and have it taken care of than taking matters into your own hands and getting in trouble, or having your girlfriend leave you because she thinks you did something horrible?okay, she might not be an animal lover, but you really could get into trouble.. You should adopt a crumogon attitude- call someone to bust those damn noisy (gull)kids and be smug in the knowledge you broke up their party. Think of them as teenagers- with feathers

As old warehouse managers trick for getting rid of pigeons that had gotten inside, was to leave little dishes of antifreeze around. It generally cleared them out in a few days. It was liquid, sweet and quite deadly for birds who drank it like water.

However, beyond the fact that this would probably be considered poisoning in some form or fashion, unless it was in a place only the birds could get to it, it might also harm other creatures, and possibly evn inquisitive young children.