So, right, like, the bloke who’ll be getting his snout right up and into our fruit is, well, he’s a man. He has a name, and he’s in an advert for *checks notes* Liquid-Plumr Double Impact. Try saying that when you’ve got a mouthful of mepenises.

And by the look of ‘im, we’d say he’s an aggressive top. You would be, wouldn’t you?

Now for melon boy in moving pictures. We like the woman in it. Not like that, we’re homos!