Over, And Over, And Over, And Over Again, And Again, And Again.....

Something interesting has happened and after what seems like a lifetime, the Ex reached out to talk to me. I honestly feel that this is nothing short of a miracle, especially when you consider the divorce, and those events connected to it. The last few years have been less than pleasant.

But then, there she was. Talking...to ME again!

I can't say we talked of anything overly specific. Of course, there were some things from the past, some explanations and disagreements etc. But the conversation remained mostly civil. Mostly.

A subject would arise that I felt strongly about, my buttons would get pushed, and like an idiot - I would open my mouth and say stupid, angry things. To complicate matters I'm still in love with her, but she not with me and I haven't exactly helped things for the better or to show her that. That's okay, I'll deal with that later.

Right now, the one thing I do know is that if I can't keep the 'old me' from showing up she's going to stop talking to me - and probably for good. While I know her spark for me died a long time ago, we did used to be pretty good friends. And I really want to have a chance at that again.