Monthly Archives: February 2014

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I went to see a short play called, “Old Times.” To summarize it, it’s about a trio of male seniors who meet every year, to catch up on their lives. It was funny, but insightful at the same time. Just last week, my friends and I were wondering, how in the future we’ll probably meet with our kids (if we have any). How do I see myself in the golden years? That is if I’m destined to live that long.

I hope to have accomplished all of my goals; like publishing books, having a family, meeting the wonderful Enya, and getting my picture taken with hundreds of penguins. My goals even go way into the afterlife, where I hope to meet Audrey Hepburn — unless, I end up building the first time machine. All I know is, I’ll be a happy old fart, who will hopefully knit penguin blankets for her grandchildren, and still dance to the Backstreet Boys.

I’ve lost count of the (many) times I’ve changed the beginning of my book. I have changed my mind about certain characters, and introduced new ones, in hopes of leading me to a better execution of my plot. I’ve narrowed down a list of 10 things I often say to my characters, either out loud or in my head. Characters are fun to write, but sometimes they can be annoying.

1) “I wanted you to meet =insert name=. Why all of the sudden, do you want to be alone?”

2) “For the 1000th time, I’m not changing your name”

3) “You’re falling for the wrong person! Why are you doing this to me?”

4) “There’s a reason why I wanted you to skip a meal”

5) “If you keep changing your look every second, I’m never going to finish this book”

6) “I know this is fiction, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna have monsters lurking everywhere”

7) “Are you chasing me in my dreams?”

8) “No, the ending isn’t going be ‘…and it was all a dream'”

9) “Wait, does this mean I now have to re-write the first 3 chapters?”

I think a lot of us underestimate, the importance of welcoming a different day. Living life to the fullest, doesn’t mean squeezing random activities in your daily life. It means, finding something (or someone) you love and discovering a different quality of life. Even if it means you do just one thing in a day. As long as you feel you can gain a better perspective, and appreciation for your life, it is worth it.

It’s okay to be a bit impulsive, providing it is not going to damage you or others. For example, if you’ve always wanted to take photographs, why not start today? You don’t have to limit your passions if you don’t have the means. If you have a cell phone, use the camera, and capture what you want. Everything you do at this point, will lead to something better, or different.

Don’t feel discouraged if you discover a new path, pursue it in any way you can, and you won’t regret it. It is the little steps that you take, that will add up and lead you to a new journey.

Regret doesn’t happen because of failure, it happens because you didn’t try.

While I’m home for a visit, I still find time to hit the gym (all the calories found in all the great food here, aren’t going be vanquished on its own). There a lot of classes I like doing, but I had not tried an intense class, until the other day.

My regular class was canceled, because the instructor was ill, so they decided to replace it with a newly introduced class, called Body Shred by Jillian Michaels. If you know Jillian Michaels, you know you’re in for the workout of your life —or death, depends how you want to look at it. As the instructor explained what the class was about, I thought to myself I had at least a few minutes to make a run for it — but, I didn’t, I pay for this gym membership, and I like to get my money’s worth. It is a 30-minute interval workout, that incorporates cardio, strength, and abs. It is very fast and intense. I decided to give it a try and challenge myself.

When I say “intense,” I mean INTENSE. We’re talking about a non-stop workout (you can grab water anytime, but you don’t have much time, so keep this in mind). Obviously, the instructor encourages you to take this at your own pace, and do ‘squats’ if you can’t follow a move, which is good. But as the first 5 minutes went by (they felt like 1 minute), I asked myself what possessed me to stay in the class. I still stayed, I was curious. It felt like it was going faster and faster, and I started to hear grunting (that’s when you know it’s tough). I looked in the mirror in front of me, and somehow everyone was able to keep smiling — I like to think it was because they were in so much pain, their smiles were paralyzed.

It was by the middle of the class, during an abs workout, that my muscles wanted to call it quits. I was so exhausted, I literally crawled to grab a sip of water (more like 20 sips). My body was determined to finish the class (even if it meant losing my courage), but my soul became a prize to be won between the heavens and hell.

I managed to survive, but I lied on the floor like a recently squashed tarantula. My soul was gone, its crying probably open the gates of Hell. But, once the angels saved me and made me snap out of it, I felt like I accomplished one of the most challenging workouts I’ve ever done. I felt really good afterwards, and told myself I would do it again. I do recommend it, you basically do a year worth of workouts in 30 minutes. The first workout will feel like you’d rather throw yourself into a pack of wolves, but I’m telling you, it will feel worthy in the end. I do recommend it!

Oh, and make sure you go to the bathroom before this class. Those tacos you had a few hours before, might make you charge and shoot your classmate behind you.

It was a warm day in Eastern Canada…Now, back to reality! I got up, hopped on a plane, came home for a visit. The End.

Oh, alright! If you insist…

It was a cold day and the forecast called for light snow (under 1cm, which means there won’t be snow). I was hoping the weather by the airport would be good —-wishing for good weather in the East is like praying for a miracle —-I didn’t want my flight to be canceled or delayed. It’s weird sometimes, how the weather changes every 1 or 2 blocks. At my place it could be snowing, but 2 blocks down the road, it could be sunny (Mother Nature never makes sense). But, I made it to the airport, and the sky was clear!

I love airports —-when good luck is in my favour —- and in fact, I used to go to the airport just to watch planes take off and land. I arrived three hours early (yes, too early), and got through security in the blink of an eye. The lady in front of me was given a hard time over a souvenir. They had to send it through another xray and asked her to step out. She was annoyed, but obliged. I’m glad it wasn’t me.

I proceeded to my gate, because that’s what I do right away, to make sure I know where it is. I located it right away, and went to a nearby restaurant. I had one of my favourite foods, spaghetti and meatballs —- nothing screams flight nervousness louder than comfort food — and hung around for a while.

I sat by the window and looked at the view and my plane. Then, I saw a young woman sitting next to me, and she had the cutest puppy EVER with her. She mentioned it was the puppy’s first trip. We exchanged a few words until boarding time.

How gorgeous is this view?

The first thing I did, as soon as I got on the plane, was check the safety procedure. I think I’m the only one who does, everyone else probably just expects to die right away, if something were to happen. My plane was a new plane, it had (approximately) 150 seats more than the biggest plane before this one was built. The seats were comfortable (leather), but the boarding time felt like earth’s entire population was boarding. Listen, passengers just kept coming in, and it took so long, I watched an entire episode of The Big Bang Theory during boarding. I can’t complain, it was a smooth boarding. Passengers were helpful with each other (so sad this is shocking nowadays).

The pilot started the engines, and we approached our runway. This is the time where the safety video plays, but instead of a video, we got the instructions via a passenger announcement on the tv screen. There were no pictures (they have the pamphlet on your seat), just a voice. I guess this means no more safety videos, and no more live demonstrations by the crew. What a disappointment! I pay for my ticket and I expect entertainment by the crew. I love watching them pretend, we would all be calm if the plane were to crash.

I didn’t feel the take off as much as other flights, which was good news to me. Not to give you nightmares or anything, but the first 15 minutes are crucial. I saw the city lights below me —yes, boarding took so long it was nightfall, and got ready to select a movie.

*SPOILERS AHEAD (movie Gravity)*

I went with the movie ‘Gravity’ with Sandra Bullock and (sort of) George Clooney. I love Sandra Bullock, she is a great actress, but this movie was boring, it wasn’t BAD, but it wasn’t GOOD. I watched it with high expectations, after seen (some) good reviews. I know it’s about survival and appreciation for life, but it’s not something we haven’t seen before. The effects looked good, but other than that, the movie is just Bullock moaning every second — I get it, she’s scared, but it was annoying — Clooney disappearing every minute, and astronauts floating in space waiting to die. I gave it a try, the beginning was good, and I was clinging to the edge of my seat. However, I was waiting for a good plot twist. For example, Bullock and Clooney fighting against each other, flying into an alien aircraft, twerking in space. But, those dreams never came true, and they were crushed by more moaning and lame explosions (Michael Bay should’ve had input on this).

The lesson? Earth is beautiful, gravity is awesome, earn millions in Hollywood by moaning while floating in space, and when your oxygen is running low, the logical thing is to keep moaning until you exhaust all your resources, and panick when you realize you only have a small oxygen percentage. Perhaps, if I had seen it in theaters, my opinion would be different. I don’t know. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great. They could’ve definitely done more.

After that, I turned on my laptop and watched Lord of the Rings (the Fellowship). We had a bit of turbulence, but it wasn’t scary. We were approaching landing, and the pilot decided to tell us the winds were strong, the runaway was short, and we would feel the landing a bit more than usual. While I appreciated this gesture, I would’ve rather not heard it. Usually, I only want to hear when something goes wrong, if it will cause my imminent death. Other than that, let me know when you plan to make an unnerving announcement, so I can plug my ears. Not to mention, I heard this girl (she was around 10-12) behind me saying loudly, “we’re flying too low!!!!” Well, we were landing, you know? What do they teach in schools?

And that was it. I can’t complain, it really was a good flight. The pilots and crew were great as usual, and while Gravity made me wish I lived in another galaxy, at least I can now say I’ve seen it. Remember the pilot’s announcement? Well, the winds were gone, rain had stopped, and we had a smooth landing! So, let’s leave it at that.

I thought it’d be simple to stopped talking, and this comes from me, the “chatty” girl (mind you, I’m shy at first). But, it’s hard to explain how involved I became during the experience, once I started it. It was terrifying, and I was afraid one of my greatest fears would appear; loneliness. However, it did appear. At the moment, I thought I would just escape from it, and form an invisible shield that would protect me.

I took a Vow of Silence that year for 24 hours excluding sleep, and 50 hours if you include it. The reason I chose to do this was because I wanted to do something for those who didn’t always have a voice; the unborn child, abuse victims, people who have passed away, people who can’t speak at all, children, pets, etc.

I thought to myself, why not do this in honour of those who are not able to defend themselves. Those who cannot say a word because they fear, or the unborn child who is never given a chance to tell their mother that they want to love and be loved in return (controversial, right?), and those who simply cannot communicate. Truth to be told, I knew how it felt when you can’t voice your feelings, opinions, and dreams.

And so it began…

The first three hours went quite smoothly, but that was because I was all alone sitting in front of the computer. The challenge became a reality, when my sister came into the kitchen and told me about her day. Out of all days, she had to have a day that would require from me to talk in detail. I kept nodding for the first sentences, but I thought it would be rude to allow her to tell me the whole story before I could tell her that I took a vow of silence (I did let her go on for a little while, though. Sisterhood). But, in all fairness to her, my decision was spontaneously, so I did not have time to give anyone a heads up. I went to my computer desk, grabbed my notebook and wrote everything I needed to say. Suffice to say, the will to comment on what she was saying got me twitching inside. I think I even tried to bite my tongue for a minute, but then, I thought about why I was doing this and I didn’t want to fail. Believe me, if you knew me back then, you knew giving up talking was a HUGE deal. After I talked…I mean wrote an explanation to my sister, an alien attack against me a series of events initiated.

I slightly burned my arm taking the pizza out of the oven, and then I dropped a slice. I accidentally spilled a drop of oil on the stove, causing it to spark a flame. I closed the manual can opener on my finger while washing it. I hurt my toe on the bathroom door (oh it was traitorous. I’d go on, but I think you get the point.

It just got even harder when I went outside and interacted with the real world. I had to use hand gestures if I accidentally bumped into someone, or when I had to go to the cashier, because the line at the self-checkout was longer than the rest; yes, go figure! It was just me, my pen and my notebook, and writing very short sentences (my hand obviously hurt).

You have no idea how hard it was for me not to say something during the incidents. I began to shut down. I desperately needed to shout at something/someone. Thinking about it did not work or even going online to try to “chat” it all away. The thought of stopping at that moment seemed to relieve my anguish, but I could not stop. Then, I just kept thinking about for whom I was doing this.

I was proud of myself for doing something for so many people; in a way I did not think would be possible. However, after being silent for so long, it got the point where I did not feel like myself anymore. I could not say, “I love you” to my family; I had to write it. I thought that perhaps watching some movies would help ease the moment, but not being able to make any out loud comments did not make me feel so good (because I love to yell at Frodo, everytime he tries to put on the ring|). The silence became a turmoil inside me. I felt like an abandoned wooden puppet at the top of a dust-covered shelf. Nevertheless, I kept offering it up and found the courage to continue.

But this experience was a Blessing. I had a lot of time to reflect on how many people feel hopeless, have the urge to cry out their sorrows, but can’t. This vow gave me just a quick glimpse of what it’s like to try to make yourself be heard, but being succumbed in loneliness or fear. While my comments were read on pieces of paper, I just felt like I was not connected to anyone. I know it was not close to what a lot of people experience during their struggles, but I found comfort knowing that I finished what I set out to do and it made me feel like I was there for them. At the end of my vow of silence, I took a deep breath, and absorbed a moment of peace, serenity and just pure love.

This put me in a very vulnerable spot. I was a cheerful person before the vow, but the experience put me back in the shell I had already come out of. I felt shy again. The process of talking again was very slow, but I eventually did. It felt like returning home from a long journey (prepare for a Lord of the rings analogy). The best way I could think of describing how my vow ended, would be a couple of sentences from the last paragraphs of The Return of the King…

“Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-Earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”

“…the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.”

“…and never again looking back they rode slowly homewards; and they spoke no word to one another until they came back to the Shire, but each had great comfort in his friend on the long grey road.”

“At last they rode over the downs and took the East Road, and then Merry and Pippin rode on to Buckland; and already they were singing again as they went.”

It’s time I share my imagination with you. Here’s a short excerpt of a writing piece I’m working on. I started to write it a long time ago, and never got to finish. I hope to post it here soon!

Jehmers Donsriell’s bequest

She felt its sharp teeth crumbling her skin, but not a tear was shed. She was paralyzed, but she could still feel the harrowing pain, slowly rising inside her body. It absorbed any energy that she had left, and she felt hopeless. She clung to the wooden floor with her black long nails, as a last attempt to escape, scratching her way out of her own despair. It wasn’t long before her hair decayed, and her teeth began to dust from the rusty toxic wind that blew on her face. Her lungs began to collapse, as she tried to escape her imminent downfall. At last, she caught what would be, her final breath. The only thought in her mind, was regret…

There is one treasure I have, love. I took this photo years ago. I love when clouds make this awesome shapes! But this summarizes everything. It is a heart, and to us, heart is a symbol of love.

There aren’t many people who are lucky enough to be loved. We must be grateful that not only we are loved, but that we have the ability TO love. Even when there are times when you feel you can’t love (i.e. heartbreak), others will be there to show you that you are loved. Love can blind you from seeing it, but only love can regain your eyesight. In the end, love can hurt, but only love can heal.

Love comes in different forms. You can love through Faith (if used correctly), family, friends, pets, and even objects. I love my stuffed animals, but obviously not on the same level as I love my family. But, it’s still love. Love is a gift for your comfort. When you really love someone or something, you enter into a dimension where you cannot hurt. That is not to say you cannot GET hurt, but it prevents YOU from hurting someone.

Love should be simple, we should just love one another. But, in the real world, it is complicated. Perhaps, we can try to make it simple. You love, I love, we live happily ever after. Like this turtle…

Whether you are single, taken, or in a relationship with an extraterrestrial, I hope your day shines, like the sun or a fresh coat of snow (depending where you live). Here’s to all the future adventures!

Roses are not always red
Violets are not blue
Happy Valentine’s Day
May all your wishes come true

Well, let me tell you that another spider came for a visit today. I’m now certain these spiders have some unhealthy love obsession with me. This creature appeared out of nowhere. It’s almost as if it teleported itself to my room (as if its presence wasn’t scary enough).

It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Perhaps, it wanted to ask me out? You know, because it probably hoped I’d be so glad to hold its legs, and skip around town sharing bug popsicles. Oh, the delicacy! I’m actually starting to freak out that spiders are out to get me, in a romantic way. But, whatever romantic intentions this particular spider may have had, I crushed them…literally. Surprisingly, I was able to “get rid of it” faster than the last time (no, I’m not starting to enjoy killing spiders).

How exactly did I achieve this? Raid spray? Vacuum? Nope. My choice of weapon was my shoe. Wait, I lied. I grabbed the broom first, hoping to squish it with the top of the stick, because the spider was preparing to attack hiding in the corner. I began to approach, and when I got close enough, something odd happened. In some sort of weird spider death wish, it positioned itself in the middle of the wall, thus allowing me to grab my shoe to…SPLAT! It didn’t even try to make a run for it.

The spider died, and I realized, I had just broken its heart, literally! It probably came with the best of intentions (at the time my brain prevented me from seeing this), and what was my first reaction? “Oh, NOOO, not YOU again!” Come to think of it, I didn’t even friendzoned it. I just squished it. No warnings. Well, I did warn it with my broom, though. Someday I hope to be able to grab a newspaper and throw the spider outside.

Tell me I’m not starting to sympathize with spiders…

Spider casualities to date: 10000000000000000000000000000000000000

^^^ this isn’t a spider. I wouldn’t post such photo for you guys :p. But, I thought it might put a smile on your face 😀