Burn for Me

Summary:AU | New MoonHis dangerously black eyes looked up at her desperately, a painful cry left his throat as he collapsed to the tile floor, her thin arms still fiercely clung to him. She traced the scars on his back. "Bella, I need you to say it..I can't..please..." His fingernails dug deeper into her bare thighs as the rest of his body started to tremble.SilenceJasperxBella

Notes:

1. Chapter 1

Being forced awake to the sound of the infuriating beeping of my alarm clock wasn't the way I liked to start my nights. And the thought of the less-than-delightful 6-hour shift ahead of me didn't help my already lousy mood. I groaned into the pillow, and wished I could stay wrapped in my covers. No stress, no worries...no ridiculously drunk men reaching for my ass all night, I mused internally over what a wonderful night that would be.

Keeping my eyes determinedly shut, I blindly reached out and swatted the evil contraption off the edge of my bed, smiling victoriously into the sheets once I heard the dull thud of it hitting the floor. ‘Ha- take that, asshole.' After taking a moment to relax in the sweet sound of silence, I opened my eyes to the depressing sight of a grey ceiling, a pitch-black room, and the bathroom door. The bathroom was only about four feet away, but I still felt proud to call this place home. It isn't the Marriot but it's mine,I thought proudly. And it was as close as I could get to a ‘Home'. Home, ha, how many of those have I had up until now?

The only reason I called Phoenix ‘home' was because of the wonderfully warm weather and the sunshine that kept me smiling. Renee was a wonderful parent; I couldn't have expected more, but raising a teenager was too much for her to handle. A teenager needed stability, and with Phil in the picture, that was becoming more and more of an impossibility. Although she tried to hide it as best as she could, trying to get me involved with her in ridiculous fads we would drop weeks later, I could tell she somewhat resented my presence. It was my fault she couldn't be with Phil every moment of every day, especially with his career finally launching. And so, with a fake smile and a briefcase full of sweaters and my toothbrush, I landed in Forks to stay with Charlie.

Forks. I had to call Forks a home, because home is where the heart is. ‘Ha, that's a fucking joke,' I had left Forks without looking back two years ago, but still held a profound resentment owards the town I couldn't get over. Charlie was a better parent than most, and had given me much more freedom than was probably sensible. But, regardless of what others may have considered irresponsible "parenting," I knew he loved me dearly. Why am I thinking about this right now?

I sighed, willing the image of Charlie kicking me out of the house out of my mind. The shock in his face when I pushed past him to get the keys on the counter and left, breaking his heart with my reckless actions. Renee in black, a color I had never seen her in, to the funeral I was banned from attending. I remembered Jacob, once my best friend, now, mouthing the word ‘bitch' at me when he noticed me hiding in the woods, waiting to pay my respects- I willed all of the memories disappear. Then came the overlapping images of high school, where I didn't even get my diploma, of Mike, Angela, Jessica and Lauren, who told me in unison that they couldn't look at me anymore.

And then the one image, that made me tense up and clench my fists, appeared in my mind.

The image was him, a monster I had stupidly given everything to. And was in turn, I was left to rot. Being called a human, having my mind insulted and compared to a sieve, being promised a clean break because it was best. Little did he know that there was nothing clean about what he did, and now I was a mess. A truculent, intransigent mess.

I forcibly unclenched my fists, knowing that the anger would only fade if I had some sort of distraction, Nice choice of words. My distractions consisted of habits and addiction, that although considered legal, were frowned upon- nothing he would approve of.

But right then, all I wanted was a long, hot shower to clear my throbbing head. I stretched my body as best as I could in one go, wincing as I felt my muscles protest, and quickly rolled out of bed.

As soon as my feet hit the floor, my brain let me know that it wasn't all too keen on keeping up with my body's too-quick movements. Bile started to creep up my throat, almost threatening to make my morning worse if I didn't sit back down. I decided to pay no attention to the bitter taste now filling my tongue and decided to get back up, and was instantly hit with a piercing shot of pain slicing through my brain. I bit my lip to keep from screaming in frustration. I lowered my head into my hands, and wondered just how many beers I must have had last night to justify being punished this way. I ran a hand through the tangles of my hair, frowning at how messy it was. And all the while I was fighting the urge to retch all over the just-carpeted floor; I slowly got up and walked towards the bathroom. I didn't get very far.

After a pitiful amount of steps, I hit the floor. Not even the floor, really, I fell onto a very very warm, and oddly familiar, body. A shirtless body whose owner must have strategically put his smelly t-shirt at the foot of my bed, knowing I'd trip over it. I lovingly snuggled closer to my own personal heater, the warmth oddly easing my headache, and comfortably rested my cheek on the stubble that grew down his brown neck.

"Mmm, hey Bell, nice of you to join me down here," he said innocently, "Did you...trip?" His eyes sparkled in amusement. After punching him in the stomach, and causing absolutely no damage, I nodded against his chest. He grinned down at me and rubbed his absurdly large fist into my scalp, chuckling as I attempted to worm out of his iron grip.

Once the mussing ceased, I huffed loudly and glared up into his big, brown eyes.