Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Day 1- Disbelief

7
years? What! Can I do that?... Why not?

The pattern I am exposing within myself today
is that of requiring a belief that I can do something based on my past, in
order to believe that I can do it in the future. This is quite a dichotomy, because
if I haven’t already done something (such as commit to a seven year process)
then I don’t allow myself to believe that I can
do it. So basically, the statement I am making is that if I haven’t done it already, then I’ll
never be able do it- Which means, I’ll never change, never grow, never learn
and never expand, and never become anything more than exactly what I am right
now. So, the question is, am I satisfied with me right now? HA! That is a good
one. Even if I were satisfied with myself right now, then I would still be
living in a world where billions suffer. This I will never be satisfied with.
But the truth is that, No, I am not satisfied with myself as who and what I am
in this moment. There’s a lot that needs to change within me, and within the
world. So to make the statement that ‘I’m done,’ ‘I cannot change,’ by allowing
my past and my belief of what I am capable of to dictate who I am is a total
giving up and giving in. I refuse to give up or give in, so the only option
left is to walk. One foot in front of the other, through the bullshit, till
it’s done. I will commit to this seven year process

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base my decisions on past
experiences, wherein I look to the safety of the past in order to walk into the
future, instead of realizing that this is a self-defeating pattern that causes
me to stagnate, to live in the past of memories and experiences, thus limiting
myself to only be what I already am, and to project in to the future with fear
instead of living right Here, in the present moment where I have the power to
determine me, who I am, what I do and what I am capable of.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear walking into an unscripted
future wherein I move myself as self-direction because I have taught
myself/learned to rely on/abdicate myself to the comforts of the mind, thus
giving away my self-directive principle instead of standing as myself, and
making the statement that I move me, I decide.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive
that I am not capable of doing or being more than what I ever thought I could
do or be, when I have never in fact pushed myself to realize my full potential,
but have instead remained within my comfort zone and made it who I am.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive
a task (this task) is ‘too much’ before I fully commit myself to walk it
through in its entirety within the realization that it is not any more tedious
or more time consuming than the way I am living right now, which involves
procrastination, avoidance, preoccupation and the like- which are wastes of
time which I will replace with actual effective living which, when accumulated
over time, builds, expands, masters and perfects.

I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop myself before I
even try, thus establishing an automated pattern of self-defeat, instead of
taking the time to learn what it is to commit and see it through to the end,
which will establish a pattern of self-trust in my living application.

I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop myself with
distraction, preoccupation, procrastination and avoidance instead of making the
ultimate decision to stand absolute.

I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the loss of the
indulgence of ego and personality of the mind as self-interest, and because of
that fear I do not stand, but rather diminish me within my own isolated mind
where I don’t have to consider anything or anyone but me, instead of actually
standing and re-asserting my decision to stand in every breath until it’s done.

I
commit myself to living Here, in the present moment, and to face all that I
have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as I present myself to me in moments,
thus gifting myself the opportunity to see who and how I’ve accepted and
allowed me to be and become, in order to correct myself and my living
application to self-honest, actual living.

I
commit myself to this self-correction by committing to this seven year process
of daily writing, exposing, forgiving and correcting, because I see, realize
and understand that there is no other way around facing me but head on.

I
commit myself to self-movement, wherein I move me, I direct me as the
self-directive principle of me through any and all resistances that will
inevitable arise throughout my self-transformation because I have learned and
taught myself to become comfortable in not changing.

I
commit myself to breathe through the resistance to changing, and to constantly
and continuously direct me despite any and all resistances.

I
commit myself to constant, consistent application.

I
commit myself to abandoning my comfort zone, and to push myself to not stop
testing my own limits in order that I may realize my full potential.

I
commit myself to fully walk through the tasks I place in front of me, by fully investigating
and correcting the self-created patterns of procrastination, avoidance and preoccupation
of which I have become used to and comfortable with, in order to, over time,
correct myself to actual effective self-honest living, through the use and
application of self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I
commit myself to actual standing and to, without fear, assert myself within my
decision to stand in each breath that I breathe.

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About Me

Hi, my name is Kimberly Kline (nee Doubt). I stand for an Equal Money System- I stand for a dignified life for all beings and I will no longer accept or allow this system of human greed and self-interest that is causing suffering, starvation and abuse for the masses. Every 'solution' we have tried so far has failed- from the United Nations to the United Church. Individual self-change and leadership by example is where it's at. I humbly commit myself to this process and invite anyone who has respect for Life to join me and walk with me, beside me, as self-willed equals, until all are free from the global compromise humanity has created for itself.
Join Desteni for further discussions about world systems and humanity's place within them. Visit Desteni.org and Equalmoney.org.