Five: Ciudad Juarez is El Paso’s sister city and neighbor. It is sometimes affectionately called J-Town. It is less affectionately called the murder capital of the world.

Six: I argue for the US legalization of marijuana. There are a few reasons I’ve never smoked weed, and Mexico is one of them.

Seven: I couldn’t sleep when I found out my uncle was approached on the street in his home of Acapulco and marched away from his car at gunpoint. There is nothing more infuriating than the feeling of complete helplessness that distance offers.

Ten: I know my tongue will never dance around the letter ‘R’ like my mother’s, my abuelita’s, my cousins’. But I keep trying. I don’t know how to sing with you, Mexico, but it hurts not to try.

Eleven: I get a Google Alert for “US-Mexico” news every day, and the headlines range from boring to simple, inspiring to painful. This month is the third time in my life I’ve ached over a specific name in a headline. I always wonder what there is to say. Forgive Mexico? Or: Mexico, forgive?

Twelve point five: Even now, when something hurts, I whisper to myself when nobody else is around. Words my mother taught me. Sana, sana, colita de rana. Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana. It helps, like a parental kiss on a skinned elbow.

Thirteen: I went to a semifinal round of the National Poetry Slam in Boston last summer. A New Mexico slam team performed a poem about crossing the border that made me break down in tears in a YMCA auditorium in Central Square. They got last place in the round and I looked online but I never could track down the poem.

Fourteen: I know my voice isn’t enough. I know I’m not enough. But if I don’t speak, I’ll lose my voice. If I lose my voice, who will take over?

Cecilia (or Ceci—not Cece, not Sassy) is a senior and co-Editor-in-Chief of Culture Shock. She is a Comparative Literature major and a math minor. Her time is spent speaking in and thinking about Spanglish, reading poetry, running (both with and without a basketball), and doing her best to smash the patriarchy.
Tweet knock-knock jokes at her: @CCWeddell