Say you’re a guy who likes to race his motorcycle around really fast, and you would prefer to keep your skin on your body rather than let it become one with the pavement in the event of an accident. You’re going to need some racing leathers.

Unfortunately, most racing leathers look a little silly, like you’re wearing a Godzilla suit or trying to imitate a crime-fighting armadillo. On top of that, you’re sick of hearing the snide insinuations that you’re trying to compensate for some sort of sexual shortcomings with your crotch rocket and your Road Warrior ensemble, which are totally unfair. You aren’t trying to be Mr. Tough Guy. You just like riding your bike fast. What can you do?