“Can you believe that we’re less than one week until the most important day of the year?”—#SaidNoOneEver

Yes, that’s right, Father’s Day is coming up this week—it’s Sunday, June 21 if you’re keeping score at home—and, tbh, it’s not really that big of a deal. But you know what? That’s the way that dads love it. They’re happy that the lion’s share of praise, affection and gifts go towards the very well-deserving mothers of the world on Mother’s Day, which means that they’re generally content with kicking back on the sofa, opening yet another present that contains yet another tie, cracking a beer, and watching some golf when their big day rolls around each June.

ANIMATED DADS

This region went pretty much according to schedule in Round 1, with top seeds Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, and Fred Flintstone advancing to Round 2. However, in an unexpected upset, #3 seed Bob Belcher was positively CRUSHED by #6 seed Hank “King Of The Hill” Hill; Belcher was only able to garner a measly 29.9% of the votes, while Hill scored an impressive 70.1%S of the votes.

THOUGHTFUL DADS

The single biggest upset of the tournament so far occurred in the Thoughtful Dads region, where #8 seed Andy Taylor (of The Andy Griffith Show fame) took down Brady Bunch patriarch Mike Brady by a healthy margin (58.8% to 41.2%). Clearly, we underestimated the All-American appeal of Andy Griffith, as well as the importance of an easy tune to whistle on your way to the fishing hole. In another upset, ABC’s ’90s era TGIF anchor Danny “Full House” Tanner was unable to rally enough support to stave off the Brylcreem’d bravado of Ward “Leave It To Beaver” Cleaver. Which leaves us with the following Round 2 matchups to decide upon:

FUNNY DADS

Want to know how far Bill Cosby has fallen in the eyes of the general public? His quintessential TV character, Dr. Cliff Huxtable, was positively pulverized by a guy whose nickname is “Tool Time.” Yes, that’s right, real life convicted felon Tim Allen snorted up 66.8% of the votes, while The Cos was left with only 33.2% of the votes. This leaves us with the following Sweet Sixteen matchups in the Funny Dads region:

TOUGH DADS

We were shocked, positively SHOCKED, when we saw the results of this bracket. Sure, it wasn’t that much of an upset that #5 seed Don Draper used his whorebaby charms to beat out #4 seed Lucious Lyon, but Red “That ’70s Show” Forman topping Walter “Breaking Bad” White? We would have bet our entire stash of crystal meth that White would have triumphed here, but apparently a lot of you out there are KurtwoodHeads! Who knew?!?