I’m one of the biggest sane ****** of John Cena. I think he’s quite good in the ring (which I’ll touch up on later), but I absolutely cannot stand how he’s been booked in the past and how he’s currently being booked, along with a number of other things.

So, without further ado…

Cena: Genesis

When Cena first debuted in June of 2002, he went toe to toe with Angle in a hell of a good, competitive match and lost. Did you really think he was going to win? No. For a rookie, you really had to think “wow, this kid really has something special” and that he’d be huge one day. He had a good look (which needed a bit of work), good charisma and surprisingly good ring skills considering his status on the card.

He was involved with some tag-teaming here and there, but his career really didn’t kick off until he began his rapping gimmick in October of 2002. He was fresh, funny and still very solid in the ring.

Cena: Thrust

In April of 2003, not even one year after his debut, he won a tournament to face Brock Lesnar for the title on PPV. He went over Eddie Guerrero, Undertaker and Chris Benoit to win the tournament, and then beat Rhyno next for good measure. Look at those first three names, though. Guerrero. Undertaker. Benoit. On top of that, he the main-evented Backlash facing Brock Lesnar. This is in his first year.

Speaking of Brock Lesnar, yeah, I’m sure plenty of people will say “well, look at Brock’s first year…”—yeah, he was also pushed really hard and debatably way too hard. However, with his amateur wrestling background, his gigantic stature and his undeniable presence in and out of the ring, he was truly something remarkable. You can build a John Cena, but you have to find a Brock Lesnar.

Back to Cena. He later pinned Rey Mysterio and pinned Big Show in a tag team match. At Survivor Series, Cena and Benoit were the sole survivors of the winning team. John Cena beat Big Show once more in a non-title match, and then beat him again at Wrestlemania XX for the United States title. His popularity was soaring and WWE was forced to do something more with him. While the Hardcore title had a few variations, the only credible title that was customized was the WWE championship when Steve Austin held it. Well, John Cena got his very own custom United States spinner belt.

Cena was stabbed at a night club after Smackdown on a very unfortunate night in October of 2004. Err.. no. He was filming his own movie, The Marine. Yes, about two and a half years after he debuted he was already starring in a movie produced by WWE. Following that, he would go on to defeat Orlando Jordan, Booker T and Kurt Angle on his way to challenging JBL for the WWE title, which he won.

Cena: Titan

JBL won the title via fluke in a match against Eddie Guerrero, and was never treated as a credible champion. He was champion for a very long time and I don’t recall him getting a single clean win. He always won by cheating or fluke. It’s great heel stuff, but he held onto the title for too long—after a certain point, it doesn’t become “holy ****! ____ won!”.. it becomes “well about ****ing time….”. Cena won the title, and it was very underwhelming. The match was short, not very good, and everything was just meh. He didn’t come out looking like a champion. He came out looking like some guy that got lucky, because JBL wasn’t able to cheat a win. That’s all.

Already off to a shaky start as champion, he gets a SECOND custom belt. And he releases a rap CD, which would subsequently flop just like The Marine flopped after it was released not too long ago. Since his win, he has held the title for 24-25 months with only 4 months not holding that title. He defeated JBL once again in an I Quit match. He ended Muhammad Hassan’s many month win undefeated streak in less than 2 minutes. He defeated Christian and Jericho in a triple threat match. He defeated Chris Jericho, resulting in Chris Jericho never being seen in WWE again.

Cena: Against all odds

No matter what was thrown at him, he would overcome it. Special guest referee that was against him? Hey, knock him out and count to three yourself. Submission triple threat match with no submission move and two submission experts? No worries—he’ll just apply his first ever submission move and win, and soon it’ll be the most credible submission maneuver in the entire company. Handicap matches? Bring it! Matches no one else could win? THE CHAMP IS STILL HERE. Triple threat match against Kurt ****ing Angle and Shawn ****ing Michaels, two top-name veterans that have won a number of championships and both very credible? Heh, didn’t even break a sweat. Beating Kurt Angle a number of times? Easy! Winning a match where Cena is the only one blindfolded? Well you can see him, but he can’t see you.

By now, the fans were utterly sick of him, and he was getting some of the biggest boos in WWE. Yet, he was supposed to be a super babyface. What gives?

Oh, I know… lets put him in an elimination chamber, pitting him in a diabolical playpen with 5 other superstars and have him start the match. No one starting off an elimination chamber and proceeded to win. But Cena did. Really, I’m not making this up. After getting destroyed, bloodied, battered and fighting for 30-40 minutes, Cena overcame 5 other men and retained. But, the son of a ***** Edge came out, cashing in his Money in the Bank contract and pinned Cena for the title. Edge, a very hated heel, was cheered. Cena comes out acting normal the following night on RAW and arrogantly says he’ll get the title back at Royal Rumble.

Cena: Rocket Ship

Flying into Royal Rumble on a rocket ship, Cena won the title back from Edge, just a few weeks after losing it. Thus proving that Edge’s win was solely based on Cena being practically dead at the end of the Elimination Chamber. It’d be nice if there was more of a fight over the title. Oh well. Also at the Royal Rumble was Rey Mysterio winning the golden ticket to main eventing Wrestlemania after battling it out from the number 2 position and lasting over 62 minutes, setting a new record. Not only did Mysterio dedicate his Rumble win to the recently deceased Eddie Guerrero, but he was going to win the title for Eddie. So what happens? Rey Mysterio wins the title in an 8 minute triple threat match in the third to last match.

Cena: R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me

Leading into Mania, Cena was getting more and more and more boos. People were getting sick of him. HHH seemed like a savior. A former 10 time champion, and the man that always seems to get the upper hand when all else fails. In the main event of Wrestlemania, with HHH losing at the previous two, it seemed as if he’d be closing the show with the title in his arms. Normally when a heel insults the face, the fans boo the heel and rally behind the face. Well, HHH called John Cena a bad wrestler and said that his only moves are pumping up his Reeboks. Guess what? HHH was the most over person that night. He channeled the thoughts of everyone in the building, spoke them aloud and got cheered. You know something is wrong in a situation like that. Worst off, Cena didn’t get one retort. He took those words with his tail tucked between his legs, and muttered off three words that would become infamous to his character. “I respect you”

Cena retained to close out Mania, which completely overshadowed Mysterio’s title win. John Cena then defeated HHH and Edge in a triple threat match at Backlash. Cena later lost the title to Rob Van Dam who also cashed in his Money in the Bank contract. Cena was defeated on RVD’s old stomping ground at Two Night Stand, with the help of Edge, of course. Can’t have Cena lose clean you know. But also of course, Cena was only losing the title to set up the new ECW, because RVD won the ECW title simultaneously.

Blahblahblah, Edge wins it from RVD and then Cena wins it back after about 3 months. And he’s been champion since then, overcoming all odds still.

Edge beat up Cena’s dad and then tried to kill him, but it’s cool—John Cena still respects him. John Cena ended Umaga’s giant winning streak, and then defeated him once more in a last man standing match. He also submitted Chris Benoit in 5 minutes.

At Wrestlemania 23, Cena faced off against a motivated Shawn Michaels in the main event. Again, Cena retained. So that’s one US title win, one WWE title win, and two main event WWE title retains. Being successful in three straight Wrestlemania title matches is unheard of in WWE.

His only clean loss in forever was not long ago to Shawn Michaels on RAW, when the title wasn’t even on the line. It was a great match and a great **** you, courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment.

In a day where fans are begging for characters with shades of gray, John Cena is your all American GI Joe, and he salutes you. And he respects you. His one dimensionality is killing him. WWE covers it up by saying that he’s very controversial. He’s not controversial. He’s not the ace in the hole that they thought he would be, and they keep pushing him as something that he’s not and a lot of people are very fed up with it.

People compare him to Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin, due to their title reigns and how they were rarely defeated. But, there’s a big difference here. Hulk Hogan was a hero. Austin, being the casual every day guy, and kicking the **** out of his boss—he was a hero. John Cena.. hero? No. He’s just a guy that got over and subsequently over pushed.

With Hogan and Austin, the moons aligned properly and everything just sort of clicked. The result is that it worked. With John Cena, the moons began aligning and instead of striking when the iron was hot, they struck before the iron was hot enough and they’ve been striking since. The iron has cooled down, and they keep striking it. Well, that’s not going to get them what they want. Eventually they’ll cause irreparable damage.

John Cena is an excellent performer, which I give him credit for. It’s common to hate the wrestler’s wrestling when you hate the man, and it’s very understandable.

Heilige

05-05-2007 08:25 PM

Re: John Cena: A history and why I hate him

Pros:

-He usually gets a very loud reaction, whether good or bad

-The fans are emotionally invested in what he’s doing

-Overall selling is generally very good

-Above average sense of psychology and timing

-Both FU and STFU are very over

Cons:

-Often disregards limb work in exchange for an exciting comeback, or sometimes he just forgets. While overall it doesn’t hurt the match, lesser wrestlers will often be consistent with selling which in the end hurts Cena a bit.

-A lot of the time he just makes the title seem like a prop. He doesn’t seem to be emotionally attached to it like he should. Yeah, he’s happy that he’s champ.. but he doesn’t show it as often as he needs to. An example of this is Backlash. He was knocked the **** out by Michaels’ superkick, and woke up as champion. Where was the “oh thank ****!” expression on his face? He just acted like he always does, with holding up the title and showing he’s the champ. You almost lost your title.. aren’t you thankful you kept it? When he won the title back from Edge in the TLC match, it was the same deal—he was extremely unenthusiastic when he won. Stuff like that really makes the match seem like a waste, because it just shows how obviously booked it is, rather than suspending your disbelief.

-John Cena the person, not the wrestling character, seems too confident in his position. It just seems like he knows that the WWE will revolve around him for a good long time, so he’s gotten very comfy and it reflects in his wrestling character. I know some people are going to call bull**** on that statement, so I’ll clarify. Very, very few wrestlers can stay in character 100% of the time and often add personal “touches” from their real life persona. Just like someone fighting for ROH bookings will go above and beyond their character and truly add their personal heart into what they’re doing because they want that spot, John Cena is comfy knowing he’s not going anywhere.

-Just like facial expressions and mannerisms can make a good match a great match, his comical/cartoon style can make a good match an average match.

-Loses WWE title after Edge cashes in his MITB contract
-Wins title back within a few weeks
-Submits HHH in Wrestlemania main event, retain WWE title
-Defeats HHH & Edge, Angle & Michaels
-Loses title to RVD, setting up the new ECW
-Gains title back from Edge

2007:

-Ends Umaga’s 10 month winning streak
-Submits Chris Benoit in 5 minutes
-Defends title against Shawn Michaels in Wrestlemania main event and retains
-Clean pinfall loss to Shawn Michaels when title wasn’t on the line
-Retains against Michaels, Edge and Orton at Backlash via “luck”

Look at that timeline. Can you see why I hate him? He’s had everything handed to him on a gold platter, and while he may deserve some of it there is no way that he has deserved all of it. He’s clearly been overpushed and he’s not the ace that Vince wishes he was. He’s not the man to bring WWE into a new era, and while he gets large reactions he’s not setting the world on fire. He’s just a guy that came out of nowhere and has no business suddenly becoming the most dominating WWE champion in years. He just hasn’t earned it and he’s not the right man for the job.

And thus..
I hate John Cena.

This has been brought to you by Heilige.

Thanks go out to Kool-Aid for providing such a tasty beverage to keep me hydrated during my rant, Marlboro Medium brand cigarettes for keeping my head straight, Nine Inch Nails for providing excellent thinking music, and WWE for ****ing my enjoyment of wrestling right up the ass.

OneWay

05-05-2007 08:30 PM

Re: John Cena: A history and why I hate him

I don't really want to read all that but I like Cena more every day. The more he gets hated, the more I like him lol. Hated him at first but his rap gimmick was awesome.

Anyway, what I don't think he gets enough credit for is his incredible strength.

The guy FU-ed Big Show, Viscera and almost Khali as well a few nights ago.
That's freaking insane. You know what kinda strength is needed from a 6'1" man to FU those 500 punds monsters?
That's simply...too good for words.
Just incredible.

And FU is not like a body slam. You actually need to lift your opponent up, have him on your shoulders and then drop him.
It takes an incredible amount of strength to be able to do that to 500 lbs people.

However, he is talented and likeable but the WWE have made him a heel basically because everyone just finally want him to lose.
Maybe it's a good trick to have him go against Khali because in that matchup I actually see everyone rooting for Cena.
Who the hell wants Khali to get his hands on the title?

VCDrivesAPorscheToWork

05-05-2007 08:47 PM

Re: John Cena: A history and why I hate him

Cena went by the name of "Prototype" before the WWE debut because his body is chiseled to the point of machine like proportions.

poorlilrich

05-05-2007 09:05 PM

Re: John Cena: A history and why I hate him

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heilige

Thanks go out to Kool-Aid for providing such a tasty beverage to keep me hydrated during my rant, Marlboro Medium brand cigarettes for keeping my head straight, Nine Inch Nails for providing excellent thinking music, and WWE for ****ing my enjoyment of wrestling right up the ass.

What about the supersized Mcdonalds meal for keeping your stomach in check?

Nice rant, but putting so much thought into wrestling is kinda strange.

Funniest Cena moment: making a reference about choking and Sprewell during a PPV in New York.

I think.

L.Kizzle

05-06-2007 03:30 AM

Re: John Cena: A history and why I hate him

Damn Batista is 38.

I don't like Cena either. He was cool back in 2002-2003 but his gimmick is getting old. "Road Dogg" Jesse James and K-Kwik were better rappers.

Dizzle-2k7

05-07-2007 12:57 AM

Re: John Cena: A history and why I hate him

that was a good rant. post that somewhere else on a wrestling message board though. for all that typing you get too good of a response here.

Heilige

05-07-2007 10:16 AM

Re: John Cena: A history and why I hate him

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneWay

I don't really want to read all that but I like Cena more every day. The more he gets hated, the more I like him lol. Hated him at first but his rap gimmick was awesome.

Anyway, what I don't think he gets enough credit for is his incredible strength.

The guy FU-ed Big Show, Viscera and almost Khali as well a few nights ago.
That's freaking insane. You know what kinda strength is needed from a 6'1" man to FU those 500 punds monsters?
That's simply...too good for words.
Just incredible.

And FU is not like a body slam. You actually need to lift your opponent up, have him on your shoulders and then drop him.
It takes an incredible amount of strength to be able to do that to 500 lbs people.

However, he is talented and likeable but the WWE have made him a heel basically because everyone just finally want him to lose.
Maybe it's a good trick to have him go against Khali because in that matchup I actually see everyone rooting for Cena.
Who the hell wants Khali to get his hands on the title?

An FU is actually easier than a bodyslam. In terms of pure strength, slamming someone in front of you takes a TON more strength than firemans carrying a willing opponent. I mean, I'm not exactly Marius Pudzianowski, but I'm a fairly strong dude. I could firemans carry someone at least 350 pounds and perform a probably botched Death Valley Driver on them. I don't think I could body slam anyone over 200. Holding dead weight on your shoulders is absolute the easiest place to hold it. That's why firemans carry moves make for such good professional wrestling moves--it LOOKS very impressive, but for strongmen, it's actually quite easy.