tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74615236409975878192018-03-03T00:46:09.379+08:00Love Quotes I Funny Quotes I SMS Quotes I Corny Jokes I Unlitext Text QuotesYour online source for text messages, sms jokes, funny texts, love quotes, one liners, cute qoutes, sayings, corny jokes, inspirational quotes, graduation messages, tagalog quotes, pinoy quotes, cute quotes, romance quotes, emo quotesBig Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-84184871292876414732009-09-21T20:40:00.000+08:002009-09-21T20:43:38.089+08:00text quotes 181-200<ul><li> A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another. </li><li>No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?</li><li> None of us here in Washington knows all or even half of the answers … If you love your country, don't depend on handouts from Washington for your information. If you cherish your freedom, don't leave it all up to big government. </li><li>There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other. </li><li>Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions? - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)</li><li>Why was I so blind that I couldn't see our love was changing underneath our very noses. </li><li>our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. </li><li>I remember when I used to sit on hospital beds and hold people�s hands, people used to be shocked because they�d never seen this before. To me it was quite normal.</li><li>To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. </li><li> Definition of Love: A score of zero in tennis</li><li>Out of the three gifts of faith, hope and love, the greatest of all is love. Corinthians 13:13<br /></li><li>The season of love is the carnival of egoism and it brings a touchstone to our natures. </li><li>Keep your love of nature, for that is the true way to understand art more and more. </li><li> Love can never grow old. Locks may lose their brown and gold. Cheeks may fade and hollow grow. But the hearts that love will know, never winter's frost and chill, summer's warmth is in them still. </li><li>Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.</li><li>...Him that I love, I wish to be free--even from me </li><li> It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it. </li><li>The incomparable stupidity of life teaches us to love our parents; divine philosophy teaches us to forgive them. </li><li> This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess. </li></ul>Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-87843970454330241472009-09-16T18:23:00.002+08:002009-09-16T18:29:20.511+08:00Text Messages 151-180<ul style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sabi ko noon di na ko masasaktan, sabi ko kakalimutan na kita, sabi ko di na kita mamahalin pa, na kaya kong gawin lahat yon. Kaso, bigla mo na lang sinabi...mahal kita, mahal mo pa rin ba ako?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sabi nila mahal mo din ako, kayahinanap kita, yun pala may hinahanap kang iba, nung nagmakaawa ako, nagalit ka pa...haayyy, minsan na nga lang magmahal, pumapalpak pa...sorry ha, mahal kasi kita eh</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">isipin mo na lang, parehas tayong umiyak, parehas tayong nasaktan, at parehas tayong nahirapan. pero bakit ganon? sa huli, sino lang yung natira? ako lang di ba?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sabi nila "iwanan mo na". sabi ko "ayoko". sabi nila "okay pa?" sabi ko "ayos lang". then tinanong nila ko isang araw "kaya mo pa ba?" napaluha ako habang sinasabi, "mahal ko eh, kaya kakayanin ko".</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">minahal kita noon pero pinabayaan mo. minahal kita ngayon pero binalewala mo, ngayon minahal mo ako, pinakawalan ko, bakit ngayon mo pa ako minahal, ngayong may mahal na akong iba?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">sabi nila kung mahal mo daw ang isang tao, pakawalan mo. sabi naman ng iba kung mahal mo ang isang tao, mahalin mo ng lubos. pero di ba mas mahal mo ang isang tao kung...pasayahin mo siya sa piling ng taong mahal niya?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">masakit sa kalooban ang lokoihn ka, ang paasahin ka, ang pagtaksilan ka, pero mas masakit sa kalooban ang...gamitin ka lang niya.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sabi nila tanga ko daw kasi hinihintay pa rin kita, kasi okay lang sa akin kahit nandiyan siya, kasi wala naman akong magagawa para malaman mo na mahal kita. paano pag naging tayo? eh di masaya....isang manhid at isang tanga.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Alam mo miss na kita, kaso siya naman miss mo! lam mo mahal kita, kaso siya rin mahal mo! Siya na lang lagi! Kahit nasasaktan ka niya okay lang kasi mahal mo siya! Ang tanga mo no, parang ako!</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">If I only have one hour left to live and I'm with you that day...I'll lay my head unto your shoulders as I feel the breeze touch my skin and say " pasandal lang po muna ha? matagal po akong mawawala eh."</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Kung mahal mo raw, ipaglaban mo. totoo ba yon? paano kung hindi ka niya mahal? anong ipaglalaban mo? isang pag-ibig na ikaw lang ang nakakadama? mahirap yata yon ah!!! kaya mo ba? pero pag mahal mo talaga, kakayanin mo di ba?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sana pag nakita mo na yung taong mahal mo, huwag kang magpakatanga, wag kang magpakamartir, wag kang magpakagago...ayokong makitang nahihirapan ka...tignan mo nangyari sa akin nung minahal kita....</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sabi nila, kapag mahal mo, lahat ibibigay mo...lahat gagawin mo...pero paano na lang kung hilingin niya na maghiwalay kayo...ibibigay mo ba kahit mahal mo pa siya?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Paano mo malalaman kung mahal ka niya? Simple lang....tumalon ka tapos sigaw mong mahal mo siya, pero kung di ka niya sasaluhin, wag kang mag-alala, ano ba'ng silbi ko? di ba tagasalo pag wala siya?</span></li><li> <span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sabi mo mahal mo ko...sabi mo di mo ko iiwan..sabi mo hihintayin mo ko. Saglit lang akong nawala iba na kasama mo. andaya talaga...dahil ba sa mahal mo lang ako pag wala siya?</span> </li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Ask ko si God, sabi ko "Bakit mo siya kinuha sa kin? binigay ko naman lahat?" Sabi niya "Di ka kasi nagtira para sa'yo" sabi ko, "Ganito po kasi ako magmahal." sabi niya, "Kaya pala lahat kinalimutan mo pati ako"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sana akin ka para di ka iiyak. sana akin ka para di ka na masasaktan. sana akin ka para di ka na aasa pa. ngunit ang talagang nais ko'y Sana ako siya na minahal mo ng sobra sobra.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Minsan ang layo ng tingin mo. Sino ba'ng hinahanap mo? yun tao bang magmamahal sayo? yan ang hirap sayo eh! ang layo lagi ng tingin mo, ang tagal ko na dito...di ba pwedeng sa kin ka naman tumingin?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Iniwan kita di dahil ayoko na sayo. tinalikuran kita di dahil galit ako sayo, lumayo ako di dahil ayaw na kitang makita, umalis lang ako kasi ayaw ko nang umiyak habang nakikita kang masaya...sa piling niya.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Muntik ko nang ipagtapat sayo ang nararamdaman ko nung magkasama tayo...muntik ko na sabihin na mahal kita...pero nung sasabihin ko na...napatigil ako dahil bigla mong sinabi...."lam mo mahal ko pa siya".</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Mahal kita, mahal mo siya. Siya naman di ka kayang mahalin katulad ng pagmamahal ko sayo...tanga ka at siya naman, manhid....parang tayong dalawa...yun nga lang...ako yung tanga at ikaw naman yung manhid.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Ano ba 'to? ikaw na naman iniisip ko. Kaya ang hirap makatulog sa gabi eh, di kita makalimutan. Pero nakatulog din ako, alam mo kung paano? Sinabi ko sa sarili ko "Tanga, may mahal na yon...tulog ka na."</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Mahirap umasa sa wala. Mahirap magmahal sa taong may ibang mahal. Mahirap ipagtanggol ang taong walang paki sa nararamdaman mo...at higit sa lahat, mahirap masaktan ng wala kang karapatan.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sabi mo mahal mo ko, naniwala ako. Sabi mo hanggang katapusan tayo, umasa naman ako. Sabi mo di mo ako sasaktan, at nagtiwala ako sayo. pero bakit ganito, iniwan mo ako at niloko. pero okay lang, may magagawa pa ba ako? siguro lang talagang di ako para sayo.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko, sabi ko okay lang, kahit wala ka, kaya ko. sabi ko tigilan mo na ko dahil kaya kong wala ka. sabi ko walang kwenta sa kin ang nangyari sa tin...pero bakit ang sakit sakit ng nararamdaman ng puso kong nangungulila dahil sayo...bakit mahal pa rin kita?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">I can't blame you if one day you'll walk out of my life but expect me to give up everything just to keep you in sight but if i fall, give me a chance to say, "Gagawin ko lahat, wag ka lang umalis"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Lahat ng tao nagbabago, lahat ng tao nagmamahal ng iba, lahat tayo masasaktan...iiwanan at kakalimutan...pero pag dumating sa kin ang araw na yon...pipilitin ko pa rin maalala yung araw na minahal mo ko.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">Sabi mo di ka nanghihinayang na nawala siya sa'yo...o nagsisisi na iniwan ka niya, sa totoo lang, hindi ako naniniwala, dahil nakatulog ka'ng lumuluha sa tabi ko, habang pabulong kong sinasabi, "ako kaya iiyakan mo?"</span></li><li><span style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">when i first met you, i've said to myself "la lang 'to". but as time pass by and we became very close and trusted each other. I said to myself "kaw ang barkadang pangmatagalan". </span></span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;">This night, I wish you might take a look at the stars above you. One of them shall slowly fade and still you might never know…”sa milyong bituing nakikita mo, ano nga naman sa’yo kung mawala ako.</span></li></ul>Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-33521602522663603372009-09-16T18:17:00.002+08:002009-09-16T18:22:37.461+08:00Text Messages 101-150<ul><li>If you wished to be loved, love. </li><li>To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia. </li><li>When we cannot get what we love, we must love what is within our reach. </li><li>The best way to know God is to love many things. </li><li>I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend. </li><li>We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home.</li><li>Madame, it is an old word and each one takes it new and wears it out himself. It is a word that fills with meaning as a bladder with air and the meaning goes out of it as quickly. It may be punctured as a bladder is punctured and patched and blown up again and if you have not had it does not exist for you. All people talk of it, but those who have had it are marked by it, and I would not wish to speak of it further since of all things it is the most ridiculous to talk of and only fools go through it many times.</li><li>Love is a great beautifier. </li><li> Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two week's notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have. </li><li>Life, the gift of nature Love, the gift of life A Kiss, the gift of Love. </li><li>I left our home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend [Billy Bob Thorton] got married, and I've never heard from him again.</li><li>Love is like dew that falls on both nettles and lilies. </li><li>A boy is a magical creature you can lock him out of your workshop, but can’t lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but can’t get him out of your mind.</li><li>The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic that to love others. </li><li>Boys should abstain from all use of wine until their eighteenth year, for it is wrong to add fire to fire. </li><li>Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of duration.</li><li>Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. </li><li>It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it. </li><li>Not all of us have to possess earthshaking talent. Just common sense and love will do. </li><li>Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. </li><li>The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together.</li><li>Love is a great beautifier. </li><li>My love for you will never break.. even when im old and gray! </li><li>This is my commandment, that ye love one another. [Jesus, In John 15:12] </li><li>Never try to define love. Once defined love is confined. Once confined -- It dies. </li><li>Paradise is always where love dwells. </li><li>Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full of grace. a soul generated by love.</li><li>Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible -- it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could. </li><li>An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by fullness, not by reception</li><li>You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. </li><li>Human Love... It is that extra creation that stands hurt and baffled at the place of death. Being human, wanting children and sunlight and breath to go on, forever.</li><li>When Charles Dickens wrote It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, I believe he must have been having an affair with his married ex-boyfriend.</li><li>Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.</li><li>Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance. </li><li>The value of love will always be stronger than the value of hate.. Any nation or group of nations which employs hatred eventually is torn to pieces by hatred...</li><li>Love is the only gold. </li><li>Love recieved and love given comprise the best form of therapy </li><li>You say that love is nonsense....I tell you it is no such thing. For weeks and months it is a steady physical pain, an ache about the heart, never leaving one, by night or by day; a long strain on one's nerves like toothache or rheumatism, not intolerable at any one instant, but exhausting by its steady drain on the strength.</li><li>He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. [I John] </li><li>I've got a group who can't play music, one bad comedian plus boyfriend, a nervous breakdown calling himself a magician, two coachloads of 70-year-old religious maniacs looking for a fight and a fancy-dress contest that nobody knew about.</li><li>SOMEONE AsKED ME: SO, "WHY DO U Like Him SO MUCH?" BUT BEFORE I COULD EVEN REPLY; MY BEST Friend PUT HER HAND OVER MY MOUTH AND Said: "DON'T EVEN GET HER STARTED" </li><li>Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania.</li><li>There's time for a boyfriend in my life. But he would have to be understanding. He would have to understand that often I will be travelling and playing.</li><li>We must love one another or die. </li><li>Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. </li><li>Love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem, a response to one's own values in the person of another. One gains a profoundly personal, selfish joy from the mere existence of the person one loves. It is one's own personal, selfish happiness that one seeks, earns, and derives from love.</li><li>There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it. </li><li>I adore him� I have never been so happy. I have real love. </li><li>On working with her producer boyfriend: Working together was a bit of a disaster. I'd tell him his ideas were crap and he'd say the same about mine.</li><li>I have felt it and lived it and now it leaves me here, love is the ultimate pain and joy, without it you die with it you perish. </li></ul>Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-84612325887456781962009-09-15T20:43:00.002+08:002009-09-15T20:49:13.893+08:00Text Messages 51-100<ul><li>He who is not impatient is not in love. </li><li>love is a flint that sparks a flame that will either flicker and burn out or continue with a warming glow </li><li>Give expression to the noble desires that lie in your heart. </li><li>Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers eyes. Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet.</li><li>To say the truth, reason and love keep little company together now-a-days. </li><li>I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. </li><li>First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it. </li><li>Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. </li><li>[The lover says:] How beautiful you are, now that you love me</li><li>We sat side by side in the morning light and looked out at the future together. </li><li>My boyfriend's a tigger. </li><li>If you judge people, you have no time to love them </li><li>Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. </li><li>I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.</li><li>Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as the are not. </li><li>Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not impress the neighbors as being very much. </li><li>Grow old along with me the best is yet to be. </li><li>Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.</li><li>First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. </li><li>One would always want to think of oneself as being on the side of love, ready to recognize it and wish it well --but, when confronted with it in others, one so often resented it, questioned its true nature, secretly dismissed the particular instance as folly or promiscuity. Was it merely jealousy, or a reluctance to admit so noble and enviable a sentiment in anyone but oneself?</li><li>"My heart is a red rose. When happy, it sparkles brillianly. When sad it bleeds and forms a dark puddle under it. When my heart dies, the soft fragile petals fall. So you might want to put your rose in a vase."</li><li>don't want to be near you for the thoughts we share but the words we never have to speak. </li><li>I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. </li><li>In every loving woman there is a priestess of the past -- a pious guardian of some affection, of which the object has disappeared.</li><li>Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do...but how much love we put in that action. </li><li>The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer. </li><li>'Tis said of love that it sometimes goes, sometimes flies; runs with one, walks gravely with another; turns a third into ice, and sets a fourth in a flame: it wounds one, another it kills: like lightning it begins and ends in the same moment: it makes that fort yield at night which it besieged but in the morning; for there is no force able to resist it.</li><li>In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love </li><li>I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.</li><li>One can be a soldier without dying, and a lover without sighing. </li><li>Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important. </li><li>We sat side by side in the morning light and looked out at the future together. </li><li>Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action. </li><li>Is a life worth living, without no one to love and to be loved in return? </li><li>The bravest thing that men do is love women </li><li>Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.</li><li>There is no disguise that can for long conceal love where it exists or simulate it where it does not. </li><li>Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given.</li><li>For a crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.</li><li>At any rate, let us love for a while, for a year or so, you and me. That's a form of divine drunkenness that we can all try. </li><li>Because my hands are rough and wrinkley, they are my least favourite feature. An ex-boyfriend used to call them 'Freddy Kreuger' fingers.</li><li> Listen! Encourage. Say something. Do something. Be yourself. Love </li><li>Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence. </li><li>I don't have a boyfriend right now. I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support. </li><li>A man is not where he lives, but where he loves. </li><li>What people don't realize is that intimacy has its conventions as well as ordinary social intercourse. There are three cardinal rules -- don't take somebody else's boyfriend unless you've been specifically invited to do so, don't take a drink without being asked, and keep a scrupulous accounting in financial matters.</li><li>Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. </li><li>A heart in love with beauty never grows old. </li><li>Love makes everything that is heavy light. </li><li>Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. </li></ul>Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-34102846099379209252009-09-15T20:31:00.002+08:002009-09-15T20:38:01.925+08:00Latest quotes 2009:text message 1-50<ol><li>if i has to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU. </li><li>"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." </li><li>When I saw you I was afraid to meet you. When I met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you.</li><li>Some of the greater things in life are unseen thats why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream... </li><li>As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . . I will always keep falling in love with you.</li><li>We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.</li><li>The best thing about me is you. </li><li>I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. </li><li>If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be. </li><li>If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them, but if they loved you back theyd never ask you to. </li><li>Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.</li><li>Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over. </li><li>Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says For the woman I love and the second, For my best friend. </li><li>Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. </li><li>We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.</li><li>If you judge people, you have no time to love them. </li><li>If rain drops were kisses,I could send you showers. if hugs were seas i send you oceans. and if love was a person i send you me!!</li><li>And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.</li><li>Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly moving on. Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same</li><li>Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop. </li><li>They say loving you gives pains and full of sacrifices But I'll rather take pains and lots of sacrifices than not to be love by you.</li><li>Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.</li><li>I laugh, I love, I hope, I try I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.</li><li>Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one. </li><li>Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. </li><li>Absence makes the heart grow fonder </li><li>If I know what love is, it is because of you. </li><li>My boyfriend used to ask his mother,” How can I find the right women for me? And she would answer, don’t worry about finding the right women –concentrate on becoming the right man.</li><li>Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.</li><li>If hate is such a strong word, then why do wetoss around love like it's nothing? </li><li>To the world you are one person, but to one person you are the world. </li><li>Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate. </li><li>We do not quit playing because we grow old, we grow old because we quit playing. </li><li>Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it. </li><li>Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. </li><li>I WANT TO FALL FOR YOU BUT IM NOT SURE YOU WILL CATCH ME? </li><li>True love never dies, even if you have found a new love, the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life. </li><li>My boyfriend used to ask his mother, 'How can I find the right woman for me?' and she would answer, Don't worry about finding the right woman- concentrate on becoming the right man.</li><li>Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. </li><li>We can cure physical diesases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love></li><li>Love is a gift from God, and as we obey His laws and genuinely learn to serve others, we develop God's love in our lives. Love of God is the means of unlocking divine powers which help us to live worthily and to overcome the world.</li><li>To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world. </li><li>Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. </li><li>No man is worth your tears, and when you find the man who is, he'll never make you cry. </li><li>The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most. </li><li>Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am. </li><li>You talk too much, you laugh too loud, that's the price of love. </li><li>BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THEN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL </li><li>Love makes time pass; time makes love pass. </li><li>Live the life you've dreamed </li></ol>Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-28567356976933374482008-11-16T19:41:00.001+08:002009-09-12T15:43:06.000+08:00Text Messages 1251-13001251. We choose how we see people. When we want to like someone, we can be so tolerant. When we want to be irritated by people, we focus on their faults. It's not other people's behavior that determines how we feel about them, it's our attitude!<br /><br />1252. Let instruction and knowledge mean more to you than silver or finest gold. Wisdom is worth more than precious jewels or anything else you desire. Good day!<br /><br />1253. In life, there are five balls to juggle: family, friends, health, work and love. Only work is made of rubber, the rest are made of glass, don't drop any!<br /><br />1254. Love is complex, it can hurt, it can be great. But never ask anyone to define love because love was never meant to be explained, it is supposed to be felt.<br /><br />1255. Do you know why I love solitude so much? It's because in this state, I break free from a dangerous society where people have nothing to do but break my heart.<br /><br />1256. Sometimes, two people decide to be just friends even if they still love each other and I often wonder why? I suppose it's not the love that's so hard to sustain, but the commitment that complicates everything.<br /><br />1257. When you know things are not meant for you, learn to let go. It doesn't mean you are weak but you are strong. Strong enough to fight the urge of wanting something you are not supposed to have.<br /><br />1258. Don't be afraid to take chances even if it might get you hurt. Just be strong and take it because you might miss that single chance that would change your life and make you really happy.<br /><br />1259. In the cruel world of love, I've learned that promises aren't contracts, kisses aren't assurance, sweet words aren't guarantees, big hugs aren't bonds and that nothing is permanent in this life. One day, she's mine, the next day, she's gone. Last night she was sweet, the next morning, she's insensitive. Yesterday, I cried, tonight, I despair, but tomorrow, I'll be strong. I've tried so hard, it still seems not enough. Life is so unfair!<br /><br />1260. Success is: To laugh often and much. To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children. To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty. To find the best in others. To live the world a little better. To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. Good day!<br /><br />1261. Love is like handling someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger. - Spongebob.<br /><br />1262. As we unburden ourselves to God, He lifts the weight for us. For every ounce of trust we place in Him, He pays us a pound of His blessings. God loves us!<br /><br />1263. Hope you spend the day being what you like to be, seeing what you love to see, doing what you plan to do and having all your prayers come true! Good morning!<br /><br />1264. The rain may cover the sun, but we know that the sun never forgets to shine just like you. We might not see each other but you always shine in my mind. Good morning!<br /><br />1265. Life is a dance, sometimes we lead, sometimes we follow. Don't worry about what we don't know. What's important is we learn as we go. Good morning!<br /><br />1266. Angels fly not because of their wings, but because they have no burdens in their heart. Lift everything to God and you will walk around like an angel! Good morning!<br /><br />1267. Prayers are very powerful. The devil smiles when we are weak, he laughs when we are too busy, he giggles when we are afraid but he trembles when we pray. So, pray always!<br /><br />1268. Sleep well, sleep tight, sleep silently into the night. Here is your pillow. Toink! Here is your kiss. Mwah! Here is your hug. Mmmmhhh. Here is your angel, Ahem. saying I love you! Good night!<br /><br />1269. Siguro, kailangan nating madapa kasi merong mas tamang paraan ng pagtayo. Kailangan nating umiyak kasi hindi lahat kayang itago ng tawa. Kailangan nating masaktan kasi meron pa tayong dapat matutunan. Good morning!<br /><br />1270. Minsan, pasaway talaga ang tao, hindi mo naman inaaya, darating at sasali sa mundo mo. Ang masakit, kung kelan apektado ka na sa kanya, saka pa sya aalis tangay ang mundong dating sa iyo lang. =(<br /><br />1271. Minsan, itinutulak mo ang isang tao palayo sa iyo, kasi, alam mong babalik din sya. Pero mag-ingat ka sa pagtulak mo. Kasi, baka kapag narealize mong mahalaga sya sa iyo, hindi mo na sya mahila pabalik sa iyo.<br /><br />1272. X - bansag sa mga past lovers natin. But don't you know na sa Math, X stands for unknown? Talaga bang kinalimutan mo na sya? O talagang hindi na kinikilala kahit mahal mo pa? =(<br /><br />1273. Kapag naiisip kita, napapangiti ako. Kapag namimiss kita, kinikilig ako. Kapag sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na mahal kita, nasasaktan ako. Kasi, tinatanong ko sa sarili ko, "Ako kaya, mahal mo?"<br /><br />1274. Tawag sa mga taga La Salle, Lasalista. Sa mga taga Ateneo, Atenista. Sa mga taga Letran, Letranista. Eh sa mga taga Batangas? Artista! Kukote, ebindensya. =)<br /><br />1275. Bakit ang tao kapag ipinapanganak, madalas, ulo ang unang lumalabas? Sagot: Kasi ang tao, kapag ginagawa, ulo rin ang unang ipinapasok! First in, first out policy ang tawag dun!<br /><br /><br /><br />1276. Holdaper: Wallet mo o pasasabugin ko ang ulo mo? Juan: Pareho lang yan! Holdaper: Anong pareho? Juan: Parehong walang laman! Ano? Wallet ko o pasasabugin mo ang ulo ko? Ikaw din, sayang ang bala mo. =)<br /><br />1277. May bagong kasal. Mrs: Honey, malapit na tayong maging tatlo sa bahay na ito. Mr: Talaga? Honey, pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo! Mrs: Oo, dito na titira ang nanay ko!<br /><br />1278. Tumatakbo ang isang bata dahil malelate na sya sa school. Nagdasal sya, "Diyos ko, tulungan nyo po akong huwag malate." Sa kanyang pagmamadali, nadapa sya! "Diyos ko naman, huwag nyo naman akong kaladkarin!"<br /><br />1279. Kapag sinaktan ka, huwag gaganti. "Don't do unto others what you don't want them to do unto you." Pero kapag sinaktan ka ulit, bigyan mo na ng suntok o sipa. "It's better to give than to receive."<br /><br />1280. Sa palengke. Madre1: Magkano ang talong? Tindera: P7 po ang apat na piraso. Madre2: Paano yan? Tatlo lang ang kailangan natin. Madre3: Bilhin na natin, tapos yung isa, iulam natin!<br /><br />1281. A naked girl rode on a taxi. "Bakit?" the girl asked the driver na nakatitig sa katawan nya. "Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng hubad?" Driver: Hindi miss. Iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago ang pamasahe mo.<br /><br />1282. Never make somebody your everything, because if they go, then, you're left with nothing. - sabi ng baklang umiiyak sa kanto.<br /><br />1283. Bush: Let's help one another. Erap: Tayo'y magtulungan. Bush: Let's strive together. Erap: Tayo'y magsikap. Bush: Because in union, there is strength! Erap: Dahil sa sibuyas, may titigas!<br /><br />1284. Bakit ba pati ako, binibigyan nyo ng malisya? Ano ba ang kasalanan ko?! - talong.<br /><br />1285. Hindi lahat ng malakas, super hero! - putok.<br /><br />1286. Encouraging words for today: Kung hindi ka na masaya sa buhay mo, bakit hindi mo subukan ang kabilang buhay? Toink!<br /><br />1287. Andito ako sa tapat ng bahay! - gate. Oo nga naman!<br /><br />1288. Hey! Andito ako sa ospital ngayon! - nurse.<br /><br />1289. Ako lang ang makakapagpadugo ng ilong ni Manny Pacquiao! - English.<br /><br />1290. Hindi totoong anak ko si Bakekang! At lalong hindi ko kapatid si Mike Enriquez! Kaya pwede ba, tigilan na ang tsismis na yan! - Shrek.<br /><br />1291. Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo? - Lego.<br /><br />1292. Halika, bigyan mo pa ako ng init. Kailangan kong pumutok para ako'y iyong matikman at ika'y masarapan. Ayan na! Puputok na! Humanda ka! - popcorn.<br /><br />1293. Kahit papaano, gusto ko din ng exposure! - singit.<br /><br />1294. Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sa iyo. Ayoko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao, ganun mo na lang ako itanggi! - utot.<br /><br />1295. Hindi lahat ng hinog ay matamis! - Pigsa.<br /><br />1296. Kapag ang katawan mo'y nag-iinit, lagi na lang ako ang hinahanap hanap mo. Maya't maya mo akong ginagamit at pinapagod. Hindi ka na naawa! - aircon.<br /><br />1297. Pagod na akong humawak ng balls mo! Pagod na rin ako sa pagbihis-hubad mo sa akin. Malapit na naman ulit! Ayoko na!!! - Christmas tree.<br /><br />1298. I ikspik that it will be a long payt, a good payt. But you know, I didn't ikspik. Tinks por da God, you know, and tinks por ol da pelepeno pipol! - Manny Pacquiao.<br /><br />1299. Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!! - Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal. =)<br /><br />1300. Nakakapagod rin palang magmahal. Kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao, darating din ang araw na isusuko mo sya. Pero mas nakakapagod kapag 4 months ang practice at training mo, tapos, 3rd round lang, knockout ka na! - Erik Morales. =)Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-68013371001882804382008-11-15T22:30:00.005+08:002009-09-12T15:42:44.171+08:00text messages 171-220171. Happiness cannot be found at the end of the road. It is experienced along the way. Take not for granted each moment of your life and find reasons to be happy each day.<br /><br />172. What if you need a friend and there are hundred steps between us? You can take the first step to get near me and I will take all 99 steps to be there for you.<br /><br />173. Don't focus on what you lost but what remains. Don't focus on the pain but how the pain shaped you. Don't focus on the failure but on the great lessons the failure taught you.<br /><br />174. To have a happy life, you gotta dance like no one's watching, dream like you'll live forever, live like you're gonna die tomorrow and love like it's never gonna hurt.<br /><br />175. Success in life can never be an accident, it's the result of right decisions at the right time. Champions are not people who never fail but people who never quit.<br /><br />176. Sometimes, you just can't take things back to the way they used to be, no matter how you try, regardless of how sorry you are. Because in life, there are no rewinds, only plays, so, play it right.<br /><br />177. Here's something to ponder on: Never let someone be your priority, while allowing yourself to be just their option.<br /><br />178: Love isn't about luxurious things in the world. It isn't about driving a BMW, nor living in New York. Love is about that someday, you two will be able to reach your dreams, helping out each other. Love is about trust, even if everything falters. Love is about giving without expecting anything. Love is about sharing happiness and pain as well. Love is about accepting that person even if others can't. Love is about holding on, even if all else fail.<br /><br />179. Some friends forget, some move away, some keep silent. Some just change. But I'm not one of them, I'm just here, minsan, busy nga lang. Pero never kitang nakalimutan! =)<br /><br />180. Often, we get impatient and take things into our own hands, but God said, "Be quiet, trust me, I know your needs better than you do. Just wait and give me a chance to work."<br /><br />181. There is no such thing as a bad day, only bad moments that people choose to nurse all day. Think happy moments and create a happy day and a happy you! Smile always.<br /><br />182. If one star will fall everytime I miss you, all stars will be out of the sky now. So, if ever there be no more stars tonight, it's all your fault, you make me miss you so much.<br /><br />183. Great minds contain ideas, solutions and reasons; scientific minds contain formulas, theories and figures; my mind contains only you. :)<br /><br />184. If someone would ask me what a beautiful life means, I would lean my head on your shoulder and hold you close to me and answer with a smile: "Like this!" :)<br /><br />185. If you could choose between life and death you would almost rather die, love is fun but hurts so much the price you pay is high. And so I say don't fall in love, you will get hurt before you're through. You see my friend, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.<br /><br />186. You brighten my day, hindi ka naman araw. You light up my life, hindi ka naman ilaw. You make me smile, hindi ka naman bulalakaw. You warm my heart, hindi ka naman sabaw. FRIEND kita, yan malinaw!<br /><br />187. I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me... you cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you jump off the window, I ain't jump. Instead, I'll catch you with my arms and hug you tight!<br /><br />188. When the time comes I can't smile anymore, don't worry about me, I know what to do. I'll just stare at one corner and think of you. No one else could make me happy like the way you do.<br /><br />189. In my dreams you gave me your heart. In my dreams we were never apart. In my dreams you kept me close. In my dreams you loved me the most. In my dreams we're always together... might as well be dreaming forever...<br /><br />190. If I get takot, would you hawak me tight? If I gawa something mali, would you make it right? If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame? If I sabi I miss you, would you ramdam the same?<br /><br />191. Days can be so tough and at times cruel, too much for one to be alone, when you feel that you can't hold on any longer, I'll take your hand and we'll go thru with it together. I'll be here and that's forever.<br /><br />192. Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me anymore. That's why.<br /><br />193. Ako? Ako yung "nothing", as in, nothing para sa 'yo, kasi, alam ko na meron ka nang "your everything." Pero sana, alam mo na kapag nawala si "everything", dyan lang si "nothing" to give you "everything."<br /><br />194. Nagkamali ka na ba sa isang taong akala mo kaibigan mo lang? Na kapag nakuha ng iba, balewala lang, kaso, nung nawala na sya, nasabi mo na lang, "Tanga ko, mahal ko pala sya!"<br /><br />195. Ayoko sana ikaw itext, kasi, gusto kong mamiss mo rin ako at maisip mo na mahalaga rin ako sa 'yo. Yun nga lang, sensya na, hindi ako kasing tibay mo, na masaya kahit wala ako.<br /><br /><br /><br />196. Sabi nila, minsan, sa buhay natin, kailangan kang mamili kung yung taong mahal mo o mahal ka! Hello?! Hindi na uso yun ngayon, ang tanong, "Yummy ba sya?" =)<br /><br />197. You are texting while walking... Daan bike-ilag, daan aso-ilag, daan kotse-ilag, daan trak-ilag, daan si "kukote". Stop! Gosh, sino yun? Naman! So cute!<br /><br />198. Kapag naloko ka, huwag kang iiyak. Kapag iniwan ka, huwag kang hahabol. Kapag sinaktan ka, huwag kang magmamakaawa. Instead, be proud and say, "Yes! available na ako!"<br /><br />199. Madaling sabihin na mahal mo ang isang tao kahit hindi naman totoo. Simpleng "I love you" tapos send ng quotes. Pero merong mahirap... ang kumain ng saging na kasinglaki nina B1 at B2.<br /><br />200. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagseselos ako kapag may ibang nagpapangiti at nagpapasaya sa 'yo. Hindi naman siguro sa makasarili ako kundi natatakot lang ako na sa sobrang kasiyahan mo, lumobo ang sipon mo!<br /><br />201. May nakadinner date ako. May kulangot near her lips. Sinabihan ko na lang na "may kanin near your lips." Dinilaan nya at sabi, "Ikaw talaga, hindi naman kanin eh, ulam!"<br /><br />202. When everything seems unfair, when all that you do is not appreciated, I'll go with you, wipe your tears, take you for a walk and tell you, "Ito ang lollipop, tahan na, hindi natin sila bati."<br /><br />203. Pratatatat! Kaboom! Kablaaam! Weewee! Wangwang! Pratatatat! Sugod mga cute! Itext ang mga pangit! Yes sir! Ito, tinext ko na yung isa, lider ata nila.<br /><br />204. Ang pagkakaibigan ay parang bulate sa puwet, hindi mo nakikita pero nadarama mo yung kiliti nito. Salamat ha, kasi, isa kang bulate sa pwet ko, ang kati mo dude!<br /><br />205. Mawala man ako sa 'yo, maraming darating, higit pa sa akin. Pero kung talagang nakalaan na ako para maging kaibigan mo, babalik ako ilang ulit man akong kuhanin ng ABS-CBN at GMA.<br /><br />206. For toothpaste ad, they show the teeth. For shampoo ad, they show the hair. For facial soap, they show the face. Pero bakit sa Whisper napkin, walang showing? Unfair naman! =)<br /><br />207. Bakit bad trip ang pinya kapag umaga? Marami kasi syang aalising muta! Wahaha! Bukas, bad trip na naman yun. Hehehe.<br /><br />208. Gusto mong malaman ang wish ko? Sana, isang araw, paggising ko sa umaga, ikaw ang una kong makita, nakangiti sa akin, habang ibinubulong mo sa akin, "Señorito, ito na po ang kape nyo. May ipag-uutos pa ba kayo?!" =)<br /><br />209. Kung ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon na ito, kanino ka mas higit na hahanga? Sa taong iniwan ang lahat para sa minamahal nya, o sa pusang naghaharlem? =)<br /><br />210. "niM6l62 62 Y0aanU an62l Y6M" This is a Da Vinci Code! To decode, read it in front of a mirror. Pass it on to your friends to show how you love them. =)<br /><br />211. Ang buhay ay mahirap, puno ng lumbay at pagsubok, pero kapag ikaw ay nadapa, bumangon ka at buong tapang mong sabihin, "Sino gang tumulak sa akin? Parang tanga eh!"<br /><br />212. Ifugao: Apply po ako ng sundalo, sir. Officer: Hindi ka pwede, ang dami mong sirang ngipin, bungi ka pa! Ifugao: Bakit sir, sa gyera ba ngayon, kagatan na ang labanan?<br /><br />213. I chose you as my friend because you are thoughtful, sweet, loving, caring, understanding, charming, demanding, daring, kambing, bonjing, uling, saging, matsing, duling at may kuliling! hehehe.<br /><br />214. A lizard fell on a table. Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae; Kikay: Eew, lizard!; Astig: Shit, butiki!; Mataray: Shucks, butiks!; Mayaman: Yuck! La coste!; Mahirap: Pare, ulam!<br /><br />215. Ang buhay ay parang prutas, dahil sa usok nagmula ang alikabok na hindi maabot ng pilay. Tandaan na ang pag-ibig ay hindi napupulot sa kalderong mainit. Hindi mo gets? Good evening na lang!<br /><br />216. Husband: Mahal, kung hindi ako makaligtas sa operasyong ito, ikaw na sana ang bahala sa mga bata. I love you all! Wife: Tumigil ka! Wala pang namatay sa tuli!<br /><br />217. Sabi, parang paru-paro daw ang tao, sa umpisa daw, mga uod muna tayo, walang ganda. Pero darating ang panahon na magiging ganap na ang kagandahan. Teka, ang tagal mo nang uod ah? =)<br /><br />218. Ang mga boys, hindi dapat pinaglalaruan, hindi rin niloloko. Kasi, ang mga yan, sobrang magmahal, sobrang masaktan. Iiyak-iyak lang sa sulok, pero kapag yan, gumanti! Loko! Nambubuntis yan! =)<br /><br />219. Kumusta? May nagtext na ba sa iyo na hindi mo kilala? Baka kasi friend ko yun! Kinuha kasi ang number mo sa akin. Sensya na, ibinigay ko. Mabait naman yun eh, naghahanap daw kasi sya ng aakyat ng niyog... pwede ka ba?<br /><br />220. One day, a fairy appeared and asked me, "Which would you wish to have, looks or brains?" I told her, "penge na lang pong pera, meron na ako pareho eh!" =)Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-38851802451778485362008-11-16T13:07:00.002+08:002009-09-12T15:42:24.043+08:00Text Messages 901-950<p>901. It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: “Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff…”</p> <p>902. My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: “Imagine mo kung di ginawa ‘tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?”</p> <p>903. Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: “Please watch ‘The Life Story of Julie Vega’, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.”</p> <p>904. In a burger joint I heard a man say: “Miss, isa ngang ‘amusing’ aloha at saka ‘kidney’ meal.” Server: “Dine in po ba or to go?” The man answered: “Ayoko ng sago!”</p> <p>905. I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: “Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet.” And she replied: “Ano po, solo o litro?” (coke is it)<span id="more-156"></span></p> <p>906. My friend said: “Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!”</p> <p>907. A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: “Ma’am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, ‘Hesus and Company.”</p> <p>0508. While watching “Apollo 13?, after she heard the line: ” Houston , we have a problem.” My ex-girlfriend asked: “Sino si Houston ?”</p> <p>909. My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told us: “Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng ‘autistic’ guitar. Saan ba nakakabili nun?”</p> <p>910. I once heard an emcee say: “Let’s give her a warm of applause!”</p> <p>911. Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!” Pasahero: “Boss, Cubao?”</p> <p>912. An officemate of ours told us a story about driving alone in her car: “Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko…wala akong kasama…”</p> <p>913. I had a customer on the line who had a password on his account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue: “It’s a 4-digit number.” He answered, “Uhm…’ROCKY’ ?”</p> <p>914. I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: “One cup of chino please.”</p> <p>915. An officemate once asked: “Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?”</p> <p>916. I had a meeting with a friend and I noticed that both of us were wearing stripes. He suddenly blurted out: “Uy, stripes din! It’s the color of the day!”</p> <p>917. When I saw that I got a missed call, I said, “Hey, I got a missed call!” My friend said, “Anong sabi?”</p> <p>918. We were reviewing for an exam and we were already dead tired. A classmate said, “Hala, brownout!” Pagtingin namin, nakapikit pala siya.</p> <p>919. A call center agent told a foreign customer regarding the changing of the due date of her credit card: “Ma’am, I already changed your monthly period.”</p> <p>920. A home economics teacher asked us: “How do you make wet floor and tow duff?” Translation: “How do you make wheat flour and tough dough”.</p><p>921. A nice philosophy in life: “Everything always ends up alright, If things are not alright, then it’s not yet the end” <img src="http://www.quotesarena.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="wp-smiley" /> </p> <p>922. DIVORCE VS. MURDER<br />A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”The pharmacist’s eye got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.<br />Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide! “The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.</p> <p>The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”<span id="more-91"></span></p> <p>923. THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE<br />The family is sitting at the dinner table.The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?”<br />The father, surprised, answers, “Well son, there’s three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round &amp; firm. In her thirties &amp; forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”<br />“Onions?”<br />“Yes, you see them, and they make you cry.??</p> <p>This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, “Mom, how many types of “willies” are there?<br />“The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties &amp; forties, it’s like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”<br />“A Christmas tree??”<br />Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.”</p> <p>924.Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. He’s an elderly man and figures he’s not getting any younger. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.He walks into the house and says to his wife:<br />“Notice anything different about me?’”<br />Margaret looks him over, “Nope” she says.<br />Frustrated Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”</p> <p>Margaret looks up and says, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.<br />“Furious, Bert yells, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?’” ‘Nope’, she replies.<br />Bert Yells ‘CAUSE IT’S LOOKIN’ AT MY NEW BOOTS”</p> <p>To which Margaret replies… “Should have bought a hat, Bert, Should have bought a hat.”</p><p><br /></p><p><strong>925. 10 Conyo-mandments</strong><br />by Gerry Avelino and Arik Abu<br />1. Thou shall make gamit “make+pandiwa”.<br />ex. “Let’s make pasok na to our class!”<br />“Wait lang! I’m making kain pa!”<br />“Come on na, we can’t make hintay anymore! It’s in Andrew pa, you<br />know?”</p> <p>2. Thou shall make kalat “noh”, “diba” and “eh” in your pangungusap.<br />ex. “I don’t like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it’s like, so<br />eew, diba?”<br />“What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?”<br />“Eh as if you want naman also, diba?”<br /><span id="more-171"></span><br />3. When making describe a whatever, always say “It’s SO pang-uri!”<br />ex. “It’s so malaki, you know, and so mainit!”<br />“I know right? So sarap nga, eh!”<br />“You’re making me inggit naman.. I’ll make bili nga my own burger.”</p> <p>4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation “dude”, ‘tsong” or “pare”<br />ex. “Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare.”<br />“I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh”</p> <p>5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!<br />ex. “My bag is so bigat today, you know”<br />“I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book<br />eh!”</p> <p>6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish .<br />ex. “I have so many tigyawats, oh!”</p> <p>7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?<br />ex. “Like, it’s so init naman!”<br />“Yah! The aircon, it’s, like sira!”</p> <p>8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your<br />sentence, you know, your pangungusap?<br />ex. “Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?”<br />“It’s so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?”</p> <p>9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?”<br />ex. “Like, OMG! It’s like traffic sa LRT”<br />“I know right? It’s so kaka!”<br />“Kaka?”<br />“Kakaasar!”</p> <p>10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full<br />effect!<br />ex. “I’m, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!”<br />“Me naman, I’m from Lazzahl!”</p><p>926. God has a perfect plan for our lives. He never does it all at once… just step by step… He wants to teach us to walk by faith not by sight</p> <p>927. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the most of everything that comes along their way.</p> <p>928. When the door of happiness closes, another opens. Often we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one opens for us.</p> <p>929. Happiness often sneaks through a door you didn’t know you left open because every exit is an entrance to another phase of life.</p> <p>930. God sometimes delays his help to test our faith and energize our prayers. Our boat may be tossed by the waves while He sleeps but He wakes up before it sinks.<span id="more-43"></span></p> <p>931. Great opportunities may come once in a lifetime, but small opportunities surround us every day. We are often challenged to do ‘great things’ for God. Actually, God is more pleased when we do small things for him out of loving obedience. They may be unnoticed by others, but God notices them and considers them acts of worship. (Rick Warren)..>Good Morning</p> <p>932. Hardships in life are existing to test how far we can stand them. Never give up! They are the shadows which will remold us to become stronger than we used to be.</p> <p>933. Many people have scars caused by people’s words. If that has happened to you, there’s another voice you should hear. The Lord’s words are stronger than anyone else’s. He has words of love and life, words of affirmation. “I have loved you with an everlasting love,” says the Father. God loves you so much, and He desires a deep and delightful relationship with you. Don’t be discouraged by the words of other. You are special in God’s eyes. – David Jeremiah. Good Morning and God bless!!!</p> <p>934. When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound; rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal – Napoleon Hill</p> <p>935. The biggest blessing in our lives is simply the presence of people who care much, whose love is for real, and see us much beyond ourselves.</p> <p>936. It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are – Roy Disney</p> <p>937. Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to – George Seaton</p> <p>938. Life is a road full of twists and turns. Learn to enjoy the ride no matter how bumpy it is. For every twist and turn, a blessing is always given in return.</p> <p>939. In three words I can sum up I learned about life, “it goes on” – Robert Frost</p> <p>940. Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars – Henry Van Dyke</p> <p>941. You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. – Albert Camus</p> <p>942. If nature were not beautiful, it would not be worth knowing, and if nature were not worth knowing, life would not be worth living. – Henri POincare</p> <p>943. Forget about consequences of failure. Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success.</p> <p>944. Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, The blueprints of your ultimate achievements.</p> <p>945. All of the things in life change. I happens with valid reasons. So, if you doubt why is happens to you, stick to this… “We can never learn to be brave and to be patient if there is only joy in the world”</p><p>946. Bakit ang tao pag love mo, iiwan ka. pag naman iniwan mo mamahalin ka.pag love mo syang talaga,may love nmng iba, bakit ganun,magulo? tulad mo <img src="http://www.quotesarena.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="wp-smiley" /> </p> <p>947. Biniro kita, ginago mo ko. Nasaktan kita, tinarantado mo ko. Sa lahat ng ginawa ko, mas matindi ang ganti mo. Kaya ngayon, tanong ko lang. Bakit di mo pinantayan ang ginawa ko nung mahalin kita ng todo-todo?</p> <p>948. Palagay mo ba madali para sa akin ang hindi ka alalahanin, isipin, at kalimutan ka na ng ganun ganun lng…sa tingin mo nakakahinga ako ng maluwag? huh?! di madali ang buhay ko kung namimiss kita!!</p> <p>949. Ang hangin kahit saan pwede pumunta, pwede madama, at pwede mo makasama…Samantala ako nandito mag isa habang iniisip ka. Sana hangin na lang ako para sa mga oras na ito…Magkasama tayo…</p> 950. Minsan may bumatok sa’kin sabay sabi, “Matauhan ka nga! Hindi ka n’ya mahal at ‘di na mamahalin pa!” Nasabi ko na lang…”So, dapat talaga may batok?!”Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-31962217919422052502008-11-15T22:35:00.002+08:002009-09-12T15:35:18.863+08:00text messages 401-450401. If you want to know how much God loves you, try to catch every single raindrop. The ones you catch is how much you love God and the ones you miss is how much God loves you.<br /><br />402. Beautiful one liner... A lot of kneeling will keep us in good standing.<br /><br />403. What if Belle never loved Beast? Ariel stayed a mermaid? Cinderella never forgot her slipper? Snow White never ate her apple? what if I never met you? Life is not a fairytale, but having you is worth more than any magic that Disney has to offer.<br /><br />404. Unexpectedly, you came into my life. We started as strangers and doesn't even know that both of us exists. Now that I knew you, I have realized the beauty of expecting the "unexpected".<br /><br />405. There was a time I fell in love with someone very special. I told myself that I'll never give up on that person, but one day, I did. Why? Finally, I realized, it's time to be kind to myself naman. Masakit eh!<br /><br />406. God's like a coke, He is the real thing, like Lipovitan, He gets you going, like Metrobank, when you are with Him you are in good hands, and Dunkin Donut, sounds good and loves you even better.<br /><br />407. You may not need me now, not today, not tomorrow, maybe not ever, but even if for just one moment you feel alone...please remember, I'm just here.<br /><br />408. You never know who really cares for you until your whole world gets too dark. If you fall into pieces, look at your side, someone is there watching out for your hand, just take it, its mine!<br /><br />409. If you could be a part of my body, I'll let you be my heart! For I want you to be the one who beats and to be the center of all my emotions and be the last one to stop when im gone.<br /><br />410. I cried because I don't have a shoe until I saw a man without a feet. Sometimes, we're just too blind to appreciate the things which surround us.<br /><br />411. I made a painting but it was left in black and white, until I found you. Now it's complete and full of colors. I call this painting of mine, "MY LIFE". Thanks for being part of it.<br /><br />412. Life is so short to waste time for someone who's unworthy for your love. It's so sad when the right person will not be able to search for you coz you're too busy all your life making the wrong person right for you.<br /><br />413. May your salty days be peppered with spicy love, may you bask in lemon sunshine, play on strawberry fields under a vanilla sky. Have a yummy morning! Good morning!<br /><br />414. When life seems so tough, go on. When things go wrong, move on. Bear in mind that God gives you strength to persevere, not to surrender. Take care!<br /><br />415. I sent my cares to the wind and ask the wind to pass them to you. When you feel the wind blowing against your face, that's me saying, "Alagaan mo ang sarili mo. Lalong lalo na kapag wala na ako sa piling mo."<br /><br />416. Five reasons why I text you. You make me feel welcome (I assume). I make you smile (I suppose). You appreciate my thoughts (I hope). You spend time reading my message (I guess). You think I'm cute (I'm sure). =)<br /><br />417. Friends are the best interpreters, coz even in silence, even when nothing is said and even if they don't know what has happened, they don't ask you questions. They just understand!<br /><br />418. In my life, I learned to love, to smile, to be happy, to be strong, to work hard. But I did not learn how to forget a nice person like you!<br /><br />419. Wake up! Exercise your faith. Do sit-up with prayer. Do push-up to release stress. Go! Jog to the Lord and send the good news! Good morning!<br /><br />420. I'm just an ordinary friend na nakilala mo, madaling kalimutan, kasi, hindi naman ako ganun ka-special. But I want you to know, naging part ka ng life ko, ordinary pero full of memory!<br /><br />421. Embrace a pillow of happy thoughts to create wonderful dreams, a blanket of care to keep you warm all night and a prayer to protect you till the dawn comes. Good night!<br /><br />422. Don't think too much of the problems in life, they are just test papers given by God to see how much we are learning in His subject called "Life". If you think you failed, don't worry because He is always ready to give remedial classes. So, review through prayers and have the perfect score of "Happiness".<br /><br />423. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you, not because they are not nice, but because you are nice. =)<br /><br />424. Easiest ways to die: 1. Have a cigar daily, you'll die 10 years early. 2. Have drinks daily, you'll die 30 years early. 3. Love someone you can't call your own, you'll die daily! =(<br /><br />425. Before you sleep, just gently lay every troubled thought away. Drop your burden and your care in the quiet arms of prayer because God never sleeps. Good night! Sweet dreams.<br /><br /><br /><br />426. If I'm an ant, pupunta ako sa arms mo, kakagatin kita as hard as I could. Syempre, papatayin mo ako! Then, as I draw my last breath, I'll whisper to your ears, "Sorry ha, nagpaparamdam lang."<br /><br />427. The secret of being young and gorgeous? Sleep the right amount of rest. Go with the right crowd. Exercise. Eat the right food and be my friend!<br /><br />428. A guy wanted to lose weight. He went to a diet center. It offered plan A or B. He took plan A. He was then taken to a room wherein a good looking naked girl with a "If you catch me, you can f*ck me!" sign was waiting for him. He never caught her but he lost 50 lbs! After 3 days, he decided to try plan B, thinking that it should be better. Excited, he quickly entered the room. A horse was in the room with a sign that says, "I will f*ck you if I catch you!" Waaaa!<br /><br />429. Forget mo na lang na nagkakilala tayo ha! Tutal, wala ka namang paki, di ba? Mas mabuti pang magkalimutan na lang tayo. Sawa na rin ako. Pero bago tayo magkalimutan, pwede bang hintayin muna nating maubos ang tubig sa dagat?<br /><br />430. Two wives shopping at market. Wife1: Mare, alam mo, tuwing makakakita ako ng patatas, naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko. Wife2: Oh, talaga? Bakit, ganyan kalaki? Wife1: Ano? Hindi noh, ganyan kadumi!<br /><br />431. A girl newcomer in hell complained to Satan: "Ang daming cute guys dito, kaya lang, ang liliit ng bird." Satan: "Gaga! Kung malaki yan, eh di para ka ring nasa heaven!"<br /><br />432. A woman gave birth to quadruplets. Upon seeing her husband, she got out of her hospital bed and slapped him shouting, "Kita mo ang epekto ng dog style!" =)<br /><br />433. Nasa bangka ka, kasama mo ang syota mong two-timer at yung bestfriend mong backfighter nang biglang lumubog yung bangka. Anong una mong sasagipin, yung bangka o yung sagwan? =)<br /><br />434. I believe that God created me to be your friend, He picked me out from all the rest coz He knows I'm the best! Ehem. Don't argue with God, bad yun!<br /><br />435. Sabi nila, ang taong maingay, bolero sa text. Tahimik, makulit sa text. Two-timer, sweet sa text. Stick to one, matipid sa text. Pero ang mga cute, eto, patext-text!<br /><br />436. Sa pag-aasawa daw ng tao, dapat nating tularan ang ibon na bago raw magpamilya, meron nang nakahandang pugad. Kaya kung ikaw ay mag-aasawa, huwag ka nang magpagawa ng bahay. Pugad na lang, mas mura pa! =)<br /><br />437. Magandang gabi po. Magtatanong lang po. Totoo po ba po na ang mga cute daw po ay magagalang po?<br /><br />438. Tatay: Anak, painumin mo ang kalabaw! Anak: Opo tay! Anak: Tay, ayaw uminom ng kalabaw eh! Tatay: Saan mo ba inilagay? Anak: Sa baso! Tatay: Sus! Katangang bata! Lagyan mo ng straw.<br /><br />439. Baka gusto mong magparamdam? Kasi, nakakainis ka! Gabi na eh, kanina pa kita hinihintay, hindi ka pa nagpaparamdam. Anong klaseng aswang ka?! Hindi ka marunong manakot! Good night!<br /><br />440. Ang tunay na cute, once in a lifetime lang magpapakita. Kaya kapag dumaan sa 'yo, aba! Tawagin mo! At sabihin mong, "kukote," saan ka pupunta? Dito ka muna, tabi tayo!<br /><br />441. Alam mo friend, mahal na mahal kita. To the point na kapag nakita kong dinapuan ka ng lamok sa mukha, tatagain ko yung lamok! I swear! Malakas ka sa akin eh!<br /><br />442. Minsan, mali tayo sa napili nating mahalin. Nasaktan sa maling pagmamahal, umiyak sa maling dahilan. At kung tatanungin mo ako? Wala akong alam dyan, kasi, kakagising ko lang. Good morning!<br /><br />443. Bitoy: Dagul, bakit ang pandak mo? Dagul: Kasi, bata pa lang ako, ulila na ako. Bitoy: Anong kaugnayan nun sa pagiging pandak mo? Dagul: Sira pala ulo mo! Wala ngang nagpalaki sa akin!<br /><br />444. Driver: Hoy, tambay! Aatras ko BMW ko ha, sabihan mo ako kung mabubunggo na! Tambay: Ok. Sige, atras... Atras pa! Sige, atras pa! Atras pa! BOG! Ok, bunggo na! =)<br /><br />445. Ina: Anak, dumudugo ang daliri mo! Akina't sisipsipin ko, dali! Tsup! Tsup! Ayan, wala na. Saan ka ba nasugatan, anak? Anak: Wala po akong sugat, pinatay ko lang po ang garapata ni Brownie!<br /><br />446. Naranasan mo na bang magmahal at masaktan dahil iniwan ka nya? Tapos, bigla kayong nagkita, nginitian ka at nasabi mo sa sarili mo, "Bakit ganun? Iisa na lang ang ngipin nya, gumagalaw pa kapag tumatawa?"<br /><br />447. Gaano man kalalim ang ilog, dagat o karagatan, lagi mo sanang tatandaan, hanggang dibdib lang ng duck yan! =)<br /><br />448. Bakit hindi lalake ang nanganganak? Eh paano mo nga naman palalabasin dun ang bata? Ano yun, parang toothpaste?<br /><br />449. Masarap titigan ang taong mahal mo at isiping magkasama kayo. Masayang managinip, masayang mangarap, pero mas masaya sana kung habang tumititig ka, naghuhubad sya, di ba? hehehe<br /><br />450. Define Agony: It's like a one-armed man hanging at the edge of a cliff by his only arm with his butt devastatingly itchy. Define Doom: Kinamot nya! =)Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-42270172303294380872008-11-16T19:40:00.000+08:002008-11-16T19:42:00.779+08:00Text Messages 1201-12501201. Friendship isn't ranked by whom we have known the longest, who came first or who cares the best. It's about who came and never left.<br /><br />1202. I think, part of the reason why people hold on to something so tight for so long is because they fear that something so great won't happen twice.<br /><br />1203. Sometimes, the best way to find what you're looking for is to stop looking for it. The answers are usually within us and the harder we try to look ahead, the further we get from what's right in front of us.<br /><br />1204. Mistakes make you think. They make you realize what you had, what you've lost and what you've taken for granted. They make you realize that sometimes, there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances.<br /><br />1205. Being happy doesn't mean everything's ok. It only means you've decided to see things beyond life's imperfections! Whatever happens, stay happy and enjoy what life brings!<br /><br />1206. I have special sleeping arrangements for you. Bed of trust, pillow of care, bedsheet of understanding, blanket of peace and dreams of love. Good night!<br /><br />1207. When we sigh about our problems, they grow double but when we laugh about them and lift them up to God, they become bubbles. Have a bright and bubbly day!<br /><br />1208. What is the meaning of life? "Taking pain," said the nail. "Keeping cool," said the ice. "Driving hard," said the hammer. "Being up-to-date," said the calendar. "Being sharp," said the knife. "Making light around you," said the fire. "Sticking to it," said the glue. "Being bright," said the lamp. "Being on time," said the clock. "Saving a drop," said the faucet. And best of all, "learning from it," said the mistake.<br /><br />1209. Today is national good looking person day. Send this to someone drop dead gorgeous and alluring. Don't send it back to me, I've received hundreds already.<br /><br />1210. Don't ever forget that there is no need to worry about forgetting things as you grow older because you'll soon forget what you have forgotten. - Al Zheimer.<br /><br />1211. It's better to cry in a Rolls Royce than to be happy on a bicycle. - just an opinion. =)<br /><br />1212. You never even thanked me for making you happy, then you throw me away just like that. I hate you for using me, for making my life full of sh*t! - tissue.<br /><br />1213. You can never change the past nor control the future. But you can change the mood of the day by touching someone's private organ. The heart. Now you're smiling! Good morning!<br /><br />1214. What is the most sensitive part of the body while having sex? Answer: Ears! Why? Because it can easily hear foot steps coming. =)<br /><br />1215. Eight qualities of a perfect boyfriend. Brave, Intelligent, Gentle, Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious and Self-organized. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.<br /><br />1216. Mahirap para sa akin ang hindi ka makita, mahirap para sa akin ang hindi ka makasama. Mahirap para sa akin ang mawala ka. Pero mas mahirap para sa akin ang ibigay mo ako sa iba kahit alam mong mahal kita.<br /><br />1217. Ano ba ang pagmamahal? Yun bang pinaiyak ka na, pinatawad mo pa? Yun bang binabalewala ka na, hinahanap mo pa? Yun bang nagmamahal na ng iba, minamahal mo pa? O yun bang kinalimutan ka na, umaasa ka pa?<br /><br />1218. Masaya lang tayo kapag may mga messages, minsan kahit na walang kwenta, basta galing sa mahal mo, masaya ka na! Kapag galing ba sa akin, masaya ka ba? Kahit wala akong kwenta?<br /><br />1219. Happy lunch time! Simpleng salita, simpleng bati, pero para sa akin, malalim dahil sa simpleng salitang yun, nasabi kong naalala kita bago ako kumain. =)<br /><br />1220. Kapag in love, ang sarap ng feeling. Kapag nasaktan, ang hirap tanggapin. Hindi mo alam kung biro, hindi mo alam kung totoo. Pero isa lang ang totoo. Love ko yung nagbabasa nito na kapag nawala sa buhay ko, mababaliw ako! =)<br /><br />1221. Kung andito ka siguro sa tabi ko, wala siguro akong magagawa kundi titigan ka, tumingin sa mga mata mo, pero sabay ng pagtitig ko sa iyo ang dalanging sana, hindi ka mawala sa buhay ko.<br /><br />1222. Gusto mo bang malaman kung gaano ka kahalaga? Hindi ako sasagot, hahawakan ko na lang ang kamay mo at ilulublob sa kumukulong tubig at sasabihing, "Masakit, di ba? Ganyan kapag nawala ka." =)<br /><br />1223. Pinilit kong huwag magtext dahil alam kong istorbo lang ako. Pero talagang hindi ko matiis na hindi ka kumustahin! Magalit ka na, pero miss lang talaga kita!<br /><br />1224. Birth months and their meanings. January - seloso/selosa. February - mahirap mahalin, moody, katok. March - sweet, may konting arte. April - pasaway, makulit, yabang. May - honest, minsan nangangaliwa. June - lover, user, playgirl/playboy. July -stick to one, sex trip. August - mahilig sa sex pero loyal. September - takot magmahal at masaktan, simpleng malibog. October - hindi kuntento sa isa, bolero. November - serious, bossy, mainit sa kama. December - mapagmahal, babaero, malibog. Tama ba yung sa 'yo??<br /><br />1225. Ang chuva ay isang powerful word na ginagamit as noun, verb, adjective and all parts of speech. Lalo na kapag nakalimutan mo ang right term of use. Pass this chuva to 20 of your chuvas before chuva ends. If you don't chuva this chuva, you will get chuva to the highest level. Machuchuva ka talaga. Believe me. This is true. =)<br /><br /><br /><br />1226. Boy1: Nag-aalala ako sa kapatid ko. Boy2: Bakit? Boy1: Lagi nya kasing kinakausap ang sarili nya dati, pero ngayon, hindi na. Boy2: Di magaling na sya, bakit hindi na nya kinakausap ang sarili nya? Boy1: Magkagalit daw sila. =)<br /><br />1227. Hindi lahat ng kulot, salot. - Goldilocks.<br /><br />1228. Este tinente opera lanesta komta diem jak galan nalu hagat tani diem. Lagot! Nabasa mo ang orasyon ng ligaw na kaluluwa, Mamaya, may magpaparamdam sa iyo! Awwooo!!<br /><br />1229. Trivia: Did you know that undas means "lungkot nu"? Kasi, kapag binaligtad mo yun, "sadnu". O di ba?! Hehehe. Toink!<br /><br />1230. Hey! I'm selling original Lacoste t-shirt for only 100 pesos! Kaya lang, yung buwaya, nangangagat ng nipples! But don't worry, dinidilaan nya muna! =)<br /><br />1231. Boom talong-talong. Boom talong-talong. Kamatis, kamatis, bagoong! Hehehe! Kinanta mo ano?? Hahaha!<br /><br />1232. Pinapaikot mo na lang ako palagi. Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti't patayin mo na lang ako! - Electric Fan.<br /><br />1233. This message will explode in 5 seconds... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Boom!! Tarat! tarat! Boom tarat tarat! Tararat! Tararat! Boom! Boom! Boom! Shoink!<br /><br />1234. Hindi ako magsosorry dahil sinabi ng press! Hindi ako magsosorry dahil sinabi ng career. At hindi ako magsosorry dahil sinabi ng panahon! It will come in and it has to be real! - Gretchen Baretto. Taray noh? Toink!<br /><br />1235. Hindi lahat ng bubuyog, kulay itim! - Jollibee.<br /><br />1236. Alam mo ba kung bakit sa tingin ko, hulog ka ng langit? Kasi, bawal ka roon! Hehehe =)<br /><br />1237. Why are we friends? Dahil praning ako, praning ka rin. Baliw ako, baliw ka rin. Maloko ako, maloko ka rin. Cute ako, wala ng space.<br /><br />1238. Toto: Nay, nay! Anong ulam, inay? Nanay: Tingnan mo na lang sa ref, anak. Toto: Eh wala naman tayong refrigerator, inay, di ba? Nanay: Eh di wala tayong ulam!<br /><br />1239. Pedro: May nasagot ka ba sa exam? Juan: Wala eh, blangko ang papel ko. Pedro: Ako din eh, walang laman ang papel ko. Blangko din! Juan: Patay tayo! Pedro: Bakit? Juan: Baka sabihin ni ma'am, nagkopyahan tayo!<br /><br />1240. Pedro: Juan, masaya ka ata? Juan: Oo, nagpa brain scan ako. Madalas kasing sabihin ng tatay ko na wala akong utak eh. Sabi ni doktor, hindi lang isa ang utak ko, may TWO MORE pa!!<br /><br />1241. Mahirap ang buhay may asawa. Umaga - laba damit. Tanghali - sampay damit. Hapon - tiklop damit. Gabi - plantsa damit. Hatinggabi - hubad damit. Madaling araw - hanap damit!<br /><br />1242. Words of wisdom: "to do is to be.." - Socrates. "to be is to do..." - Sartre. "do be do be do" - Kamikazee. =)<br /><br />1243. Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang Breeze at Tide, bubula kaya? Misis: Aba, syempre! Promoter: Mali! Misis: Bakit naman? Promoter: Wala pang tubig, ano ka ba?!<br /><br />1244. May kwento ako tungkol sa lovelife ng ampalaya. Huwag na lang! Masyadong mapait!<br /><br />1245. Alam kong sa tingin mo, masaya ako! Pero bakit kayo ganyan?! Sa tuwing wala na kayong masabi, ako na lang ang ginagamit nyo! Pagod na pagod na ako sa pagngiti! - smiley. =)<br /><br />1246. Grabe! Biruin mo, 15000 pesos daw, hot oil lang! 150000 pesos ang rebonding! Sobra naman yang David's Salon na yan! - Rapunzel.<br /><br />1247. Filipino class. Guro: Juan, magbigay ng pangungusap na may tayutay (figure of speech). Juan: Ahem... "Ang tatay ay nadapa... Tayu, tay!" =)<br /><br />1248. Hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si Inday. Tahimik lang syang nakatitig sa bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat: Concentrate. =)<br /><br />1249. Ang stars, ginawa para makapagwish. Ang angels, ginawa para tagabantay. Eh ako?! Bakit ako ginawa? Wala lang. Para lang may kaayaaya sa mundo! =)<br /><br />1250. Minsan, tinanong ko sa sarili ko, bakit nakilala kita? Bakit nakasundo kita? Bakit naging kaibigan kita? Ngayon, alam ko na ang sagot, simple lang pala! Kasi, mabait ako! Hahaha!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-41523557118860788572008-11-16T19:37:00.001+08:002008-11-16T19:40:52.758+08:00Text Messages 1101-11501101. I'm sorry for blaming you. For everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by hurting you. There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again. Sometimes, I want to call you, but I know you won't be there. It's hard to say goodbye when it comes to this. There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance to look into your eyes. Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I couldn't do. - Hurt - Christina Aguilera<br /><br />1102. It takes a strong heart to love. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt. Good night!<br /><br />1103. Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical. - Southpark.<br /><br />1104. Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.<br /><br />1105. A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart. Keep smiling! =)<br /><br />1106. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, and disciplined. But no life is ever happy until it is lived for the glory of God. Keep the faith. Good morning!<br /><br />1107. Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know. My riches do not lie in material wealth, but in having friend like you - a precious gift from God.<br /><br />1108. Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers. So, if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.<br /><br />1109. One lie is enough to break a trust. One sentence is enough to break a heart. One second is enough to lose a battle. One smile is enough to fall in love. One mistake is enough to lose a job. One touch is enough to heal a wounded heart. But whatever our pain, whatever our struggle, one God is more than enough. Good evening!<br /><br />1110. Life is pretty much unpredictable. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.<br /><br />1111. In life, you'll find someone who will puff smoke and drink with you till sun is up. But what I promise you is that I'll be the one who will stay with you when all you see is an empty beer bottle and an empty cigarette case.<br /><br />1112. Jesus and Satan competed on the computer. They started typing. They did every known job, reports, e-mails, attachments and downloads. But before the time was up, lightning, thunder and rain, and brownout came! Satan cursed. Jesus just sighed. When electricity was back, Satan lost every single thing he had done. But Jesus started printing all his files. Satan shouted: You cheated! Jesus just smiled. He did what Satan didn't know: Jesus saves.<br /><br />1113. Erap writing a request letter to order 2 geese. "I would like to order 2 gooses." Mali yata. "I would like to order 2 geeses." Mali rin yata. Ito na lang. "Dear sir, I would like to order 1 goose. Thank you very much. P.S. Please add 1 goose."<br /><br />1114. Sometimes, my mind asks. Why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Why I text you? Then my heart answered, Mongoloids need more care! Hehehe. Now, you're smiling! =)<br /><br />1115. A housewife hears door bell. When she opens the door, a man asks if she has a vagina. She slams the door in disgust that a stranger could ask such a thing. Same thing happens for 3 days. She tells husband. He does not go to work the next day and tells wife to say yes if he comes again. "I will hide behind the door." Next day, man comes and knocks. He asks, "Do you have a vagina?" She says "Yes!" Man says, "Good! Then, please tell your husband to stop f*cking my wife!"<br /><br />1116. In New York, Mike Arroyo asked a prostitute. Mike: How much? Prostitute: $100. Mike: That's too much! How about $10? Prostitute: No way! Next day, the prostitute saw Mike with GMA. Prostitute: See what you get for $10! =)<br /><br />1117. 12 priests to be ordained lined up with a tiny bell attached to their penis. A sexy nude girl danced before each of them. If the bell rings, no ordination. The first 11, no bell rang. At the last priest, his bell rang very loud and flew to the ground. He bent over to pick it up. All the other bells rang!<br /><br />1118. Zodiac signs about kissing. Aries - quick and passionate. Taurus - deliberate, heartfelt. Gemini - interrupted by giggles, smiles. Cancer - warm and tender. Leo - wild, biting. Virgo - subtle and tidy. Libra - a relief from stress. Scorpio - skip the kiss and wanted sex. Sagittarius - surprising, wanted more. Capricorn - worrying about breath. Aquarius - wet and messy, eyes open. Pisces - starry-eyed, long kiss.<br /><br />1119. All you have to do in life is go out with your friends, party hard, and look twice as good as the bitch standing next to you. - Paris Hilton.<br /><br />1120. A father was trying to teach his young son about the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the worm in the whisky curled up and died. "Alright, son" asked the father, "What does this show?" "Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms." =)<br /><br />1121. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)<br /><br />1122. I'm so masaya that I have a friend like you because you tanggap me as me. I always pasalamat to the lord that I met you and I hope you will not bago your ugali because I like you as ikaw! devah?<br /><br />1123. Inaantok na ako. Pagod kasi. Masyadong busy. Pero naalala kita! Greet muna kita. Good night!<br /><br />1124. We really don't need so many friends. What will you do with so many if only few are true? For me, I can be contented with only 3 or 2, basta dapat paglingon ko, one of them is you!<br /><br />1125. If one day, you decide to give up on me, I'll understand. And if I remember you, I would be grateful for the fact that minsan, ikaw yung isa sa mga taong sumalo sa akin at nagpaalala na hindi ako nag-iisa!<br /><br /><br /><br />1126. What if I tell you to forget me, would you? If I ask you to go, would you obey? If I tell you to leave me alone, will you? Sana, matigas ang ulo mo at hindi mo hayaang mawala ako.<br /><br />1127. When I'm sad, I talk to God, then I'm ok. When I'm depress, I talk to God again, then I'm ok. When I'm in pain, I talk to God even more, then He'll comfort me. Pero ang tao, kapag si God ang tumawag, madalas, deadma. "Lord, I'm so sorry for causing you too much pain." Send this as much as you can, the more you send shows how much you are sorry. Kaya mo bang deadmahin ito??<br /><br />1128. Live your life to the fullest as if it's your last! Oopss, luma na yan! Ito ang bago. Mas malupit pa! Live today as if you will stand before God tomorrow! Oh di ba? Good morning!<br /><br />1129. Minsan, naiisip ko, bakit ba kita nakilala? Para saan at dumating ka? Pero napapatahimik na lang ako tapos napapangiti. Baka kasi akalain ni Lord, nagrereklamo ako! Mahirap na. Baka bawiin ka nya. Ayoko nga!<br /><br />1130. If you make talikod to me, I will not be galit. I will just panood you lakad, but if suddenly you dapa, I'll say, You kasi eh, not making ingat. Come here nga, I'll make you yakap! =)<br /><br />1131. What if the person you love sacrifice you just to have another love? Would you fight and never give up? Ako? Lalayo na lang. Why? Isinuko nya ako eh, tapos ipaglalaban ko sya? Kalokohan!<br /><br />1132. Girls? Definitely, magaganda! Dapat, siniseryoso kahit bolera, masarap naman magmahal. Sweet and loyal, pero kapag niloko, for sure iiyak. Pero kapag ok na, magsisisi ang nagpaiyak! Dahil ang girls, rumeresbak!<br /><br />1133. At muling nagbabalik ang inyong kaibigan na nambubulabog tuwing may load. Kumusta na kayo mga kapuso ko? Ito nga pala ang texter na kahit walang pera, mukha namang artista. Good morning!<br /><br />1134. Isubo mo ang kahabaan ko. Dilaan. Sipsipin. Paglaruan sa bibig mo. Para lumabas ang katas ko na kinasasabikan mo. Nagmamahal - Ice candy.<br /><br />1135. Anak: Inay, ang galing ng titser ko. Inay: Bakit naman? Anak: Tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal. Lola: Eh di marunong ka nang gumalang at magpo at opo? Anak: Natural! Tanga ka ba?<br /><br />1136. Ang buhay ay parang holiday. Kapag masaya, Pasko. Kapag nagdadalamhati, Holy Week. Kapag umiibig ka, Valentine's Day. Tumingin ka lang sa salamin, Halloween na! =)<br /><br />1137. Use "Bampira" in a sentence! Ahmm, Dodong. Pautang naman, meron ka bampira?!<br /><br />1138. Be careful with Erap jokes that you text to your friends. Erap is now monitoring cellphone networks such as Smart, Sun and Globe to find who is making fun of him. This message is texted in English to avoid detection.<br /><br />1139. Kapag may taong nagsabi sa iyo na ibibigay nya ang buwan at bituin, huwag kang maniwala dahil kahit sungkitin nya ang buwan at bituin, aanhin mo naman yun?!<br /><br />1140. The world is so big, di ba? Imagine?! 7 billion people, 7 continents, over a hundred countries, pero paano tayo nagkakilala? That is what you call "Kamalasan!" =)<br /><br />1141. Hindi kita pinipilit na isipin ako, hindi ko rin sinasadyang istorbohin ka sa ginagawa mo. Huwag ka sanang magagalit kung makulit ako. Pero tanong ko lang, "May regalo ka na ba sa akin sa Pasko?" =)<br /><br />1142. A Chinese woman married an Englishman. She can't speak English. At the grocery, she wanted to buy pork leg, she showed her legs. Next day, she needed chicken breast, she showed her breast. Third day, she brought along her husband because she wanted sausage. What did she do? Ikaw ha, iba iniisip mo. Her husband can speak English, di ba? =)<br /><br />1143. Anak: Itay, ano ba ang birdflu? Kasi, maraming nabibiktima ng birdflu. Ama: Kaya nga kita pinag-aaral para matuto ka eh. Ang birdflu ay past tense ng bird fly.<br /><br />1144. Dakakaidis talaga. Bay sipod da damad ako. Barado da damad ilog ko. Bahirap da damad batulog. O, bakit gadyad ka bagsalita? Bay sipod ka did? =)<br /><br />1145. Adik lang sa paningin. May puso't damdamin. Subukan lang nilang mahalin. Mababaliw sila sa akin.<br /><br />1146. May mga sugat na mahirap lunasan. Mga sakit na mahirap kalimutan. Pero mas mahirap tanggapin kung ang peklat na maiiwan ay magsasabi ng "Hahaha! We'll be together, forever!" =)<br /><br />1147. What comprises a college student? 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration and 200% lakwatsa session for a total of 3.0/75. Sakto lang para pumasa! =)<br /><br />1148. How to get the person you love? 1. Be friendly sa kanya. 2. Intindihin mo sya. 3. Mahalin mo lang sya hanggang magsawa ka. Kapag wala pa ring nangyari, lasingin mo! Talo-talo na! =)<br /><br />1149. Hindi ako umaasang maging isang mahalagang tao sa iyong buhay ngunit umaasa ako na balang araw, marinig mo ang pangalan ko, nangingiti ka't sasabihin mong "Cute yan sa personal!"<br /><br />1150. Q: May 10 inggitera, nagpakamatay ang isa, ilan ang natira? A: Eh di wala, kasi lahat nainggit, gumaya tuloy!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-23114479443793935962008-11-16T19:37:00.000+08:002008-11-16T19:40:50.809+08:00Text Messages 1151-12001151. Don't be afraid to put your trust to someone who will love you completely, because not all fears are right and love doesn't always end in pain. Who knows? The one you've been waiting for has always been with you.<br /><br />1152. Nobody can ever make you feel average without your permission. Ingratitude and criticism are going to come; they are part of the price you pay for leaping past mediocrity. When you make your mark in life, you'll always attract erasers. Never surrender your dream to noisy negatives! - The Enemy Called Average<br /><br />1153. It's hard to explain what I feel. What I know is you are my friend. Maybe, I'm never the perfect one, but I will still be your friend no matter what. Just hold on, maybe, I will never be your bestfriend, but your friend forever.<br /><br />1154. If you need a shoulder to cry on, mine is for free. No cover charge, no service charge, no government taxes. Just pure love for a friend. Just inform me, anytime, 24 hours open!<br /><br />1155. Minsan, nakakatakot nang magmahal, hindi mo alam, baka masaktan ka lang ulit. Pero ganun naman talaga ang love di ba? Magsasayang ka muna ng maraming luha bago mo matagpuan ang taong kailanman ay hindi ka na iiwan pa.<br /><br />1156. Madalas, kapag ang tao, nagdadasal, humihiling, gusto ko nito, gusto ko nyan, sana, may ganito, sana may ganyan. Hindi ko sila masisisi, hindi ka pa kasi nila nakikilala. Di sana, ang dasal na lang nila, "Thank you."<br /><br />1157. Bakit yung iba, ang bilis kong palitan. Bakit sila, hindi ko iniiyakan. Bakit kapag iba, wala akong pakialam. Pero bakit kapag ikaw na, ang hirap mong kalimutan. =(<br /><br />1158. Heart and brain were fighting. Heart said, "Idelete mo na sya! Stupid!" Mind replied, "Nagmamarunong ka pa dyan, how would I discard if I see you bleed everytime I try?"<br /><br />1159. Kung mahal mo ang isang tao, hindi mo sya hahayaang mawala sa iyo. Hindi sasaktan, hindi paglalaruan, hindi paaasahin, hindi babalewalain kundi iingatan at ipaglalaban. At higit sa lahat, hindi mo papalitan!<br /><br />1160. Garfield's words of wisdom: "We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more info in our heads. So, I'm not fat! I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold anymore so it started filling up the rest of me."<br /><br />1161. Smile you made it least at but, you to this sent that fool the kill to want probably might you, this reading bothered have you after. Confused?? Read it backwards!<br /><br />1162. One day, Aubrey Miles went to FHM magazine to check if she's still the sexiest girl in the world. Then, she walked out angry and shouting, "Who the hell is (yournamehere)?!"<br /><br />1163. Noong isang gabi, sumakay ako sa dyip. Nagtataka ako kung bakit lahat sila, nakatingin sa akin. Ayaw nilang kumibo. Nakatitig lang sila sa akin. May isang naglakas ng loob at sinabi: "Iho, inarkila namin ito!"<br /><br />1164. Friendship? Para daw grade sa Math. Mahirap abutin, pinaghihirapan. Minsan pasado, kadalasan, bagsak. Ako? Hindi ako magaling sa Math! Pero para sa iyo, handa akong mangopya sa katabi ko.<br /><br />1165. If true friend can be bought, I'm going to sell you in an ukay ukay for only a peso or centavo with 50% discount! Why? So that anyone can avail a friend as true as you. Mukhang sosyal, pero di mahal!<br /><br />1166. Boy1: Pare, tikman mo itong cake ko, masarap! Gawa ng nanay ko. Boy2: Ikaw na lang titikman ko pare, tutal, gawa ka rin ng nanay mo!<br /><br />1167. Meron ka na lamang 6 na oras para manatiling tao. Kung gusto mong ipagpatuloy ang pagiging tao mo, itype lang ang MALIGNO OFF at isend sa 2870. Good luck!<br /><br />1168. Imagine if all straight guys are talking in a gay lingo... Student: Buket di mo chinuva yung girlalet? Malaki naman ang susey ng lola mo ah. Hunk: Winnie cordero nga dude, smelanie marquez naman, wit na. Jaworski: Ok, beks, keber sa kalaban, jus focus, we cannot afford to luz valdez. You, achievin mo yung last free throw. Ok, go for gold to the highest level!<br /><br />1169. You can cry all you want, you could always blame me. You said, it wasn't fair, that you just want life to be better. But remember, it's all your fault! You stabbed me with a knife! - Sibuyas.<br /><br />1170. Sabi nila, kapag hindi ka raw mahal ng isang tao, huwag mo raw ipagpilitan ang sarili mo sa kanya. Sabi ko, "Ah, ok!" =)<br /><br />1171. Kunwari, ang pangalan mo, "Ikaw", tapos ang pangalan ko ay "Ako". Ang tanong, sino ang panget?? =)<br /><br />1172. God is so wise because he never created friends with price tags, because if He did, I cannot afford a precious one like you. Pero kung sakali man, syempre, pag-iipunan kita. =)<br /><br />1173. TUKMOL: Sino sa inyo ang matapang? Lumabas! SIGA: Ako, matapang ako, bakit may problema ka? TUKMOL: Wala po, survey lang ho. Ngayon, yung duwag naman ang lumabas!<br /><br />1174. Kung sino man kayong mahilig magpadala ng chain messages na walang kwenta, tigilan nyo na ako!! Punung-puno na ako!! Please pass to 10 persons and make a wish.<br /><br />1175. Dear friend, I asked for a flower, you gave me a boquet; I asked for a stone, you gave me a statue; I asked for a feather, you gave me a peacock. Wow friend! Ang bingi mo!<br /><br /><br /><br />1176. Di ba ang PLDT may TELESULIT at TELETIPID. Pag-aari rin kaya nila ang TELETUBBIES? kasi nakapangalan sa kanila e. P-Po, L-LaLa, D-Dipsy, T-Tinky Winky. Di ba may point ako?<br /><br />1177. Naranasan mo na bang makita sya nang di sinasadya? Tinitigan ka nya sabay ngiti. Tahimik mo syang pinagmasdan. Bigla syang lumapit sayo. Niyakap ka nya at dahan-dahang bumulong, 'holdap to'.<br /><br />1178. Tinanong ko ex ko kung mahal pa nya ako. Hindi sya sumagot. Sa halip kinuha nya kamay ko at nilagay nya sa dibdib nya. Naluha ako at sinampal ko sya dahil naramdaman ko, may boobs na ang gaga!<br /><br />1179. When you're feeling blue, don't hesitate to come to me. I'll gladly help you. May crayola ako dito, kokoloran kita ng pink para kikay!<br /><br />1180. Anak: Ma, hingi sana ako ng P50. Nanay: P40? Ang laki naman ng P30! Anong gagawin mo sa P20? Akala mo madaling kumita ng P10? O, eto P5. :)<br /><br />1181. When life is a mess, when my heart has been crushed, when I’m wearing a frown, when I breakdown and cry, when I’m blue, can I comfort myself by saying, I have you?<br /><br />1182. To be happy, don’t do whatever you like – like whatever you do. Happiness comes not from having much to live ON, but having much to live FOR.<br /><br />1183. Falling down doesn’t make you a failure but staying down does. Always remember that no one is perfect and when you fall harder, you bounce back higher.<br /><br />1184. May the arm of your angel hold you tight each day. May she light and guide you all the way. But if ever your angel is busy today, just tell me, ako ang magdu-duty. :)<br /><br />1185. Pinaka-corny pero pinaka-effective na pick-up line: “Miss, alam mo ba, hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, at hindi tayo halaman. BAGAY TAYO! BAGAY!” =)<br /><br />1186. You never know what you have till you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back! - snatcher.<br /><br />1187. Galing ni God no? Alam Nya kung san magiging masaya ang tao, kung saan pwede magmahal at mahalin ng totoo. Kung saan yung langit dito sa mundo. Kaya pala nilagay niya ako malapit sa 'yo :)<br /><br />1188. Pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako! - libag.<br /><br />1189. Bkit ganun? “Malalaman mo lang na importante ang isang tao pag nawala na sya sayo.” Sana, baliktad na lang.“Sayo sya na nawala pag tao isang ang importante na lang mo malalaman.” Ano daw!?<br /><br />1190. Do you know what is “Inner Row?” What is Inner Row? Inner row... is that which comes before Pibrerow, Marsow, Abril, Mayow, Hunyow, Hulyow, Agustow! Hehe.<br /><br />1191. Eve: “Oh Adam, do you love me?” Adam: “Who else?”<br /><br />1192. Boy1: Bakit mo ako sinuntok? Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus! Boy1: Last year pa yon! Tarantado! Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita picture ng hippopotamus, bobo!<br /><br />1193. Life can be so unfair. Cooking a meal takes one hour, but eating it takes 5 mins. Constructing a building takes 6 months, but blowing it up takes 30 secs. Earning P10,000 takes 30 days, but paying the cashier for a cellphone takes 2 seconds. However, it’s amazing that a second smack on the cheek can make your day, a 5-second glimpse of your crush can make your week and a 10-second hug can take your 1 year pain away!<br /><br />1194. You’ll realize that you’ve spent 3 seconds of your life reading this.<br /><br />1195. Magandang ibigay na regalo. Sa kaibigan: KATAPATAN. Sa kaaway: PAGPAPATAWAD. Sa magulang: PASASALAMAT. Sa Diyos: BUHAY MO. Sa akin: Sony Ericsson Cybershot phone, iPod video with speakers, shopping spree sa Hong Kong, Apple na laptop with all the gadgets, plasma tv, own Disneyland, money, Porsche convertible, roundtrip sa buong mundo and my own ice cream store. Yan lang, happy na ako. Ayoko ng masyadong galante, mababaw lang kaligayahan ko.<br /><br />1196. Nang makita kita, parang ayaw kitang tawagin. Kasi, baka balewalain mo lang ako. Pero naisip ko, hindi porket sikat ka, hindi na kita pwedeng makausap. Kaya tinawag kita, "Bakekang, Bakekang! Papirma naman!"<br /><br />1197. They say true love only happens once in a blue moon. Ito ang tanong, sa buong buhay ko, hindi pa ako nakakita ng asul na buwan! Addict, di ba? Buwan? Asul? =)<br /><br />1198. Teacher: Class, draw a fish! Class: Yes, ma'am! Teacher: Pedro, why is your drawing very dirty? Pedro: Ma'am, huwag kang makialam. Bagoong yan!<br /><br />1199. Magsyota, naglalakad sa park. Girlfriend: Hon, ihi muna ako. Boyfriend: Dyan ka na lang sa damuhan. Habang umiihi, kinapkap ni BF ang legs ni GF nang may nahawakan syang mahaba sa gitna ng mga legs. Boyfriend: Pucha! Nagpalit ka ba ng kasarian? Girlfriend: Ulol! Nagpalit lang ako ng desisyon, tatae na lang ako!<br /><br />1200. Piglet sat beside Pooh and whispered, "Pooh?" "Yes, Piglet," said Pooh. "Nothing," Piglet said. Piglet took Pooh's paw and added, "I just want to make sure you're here." - Brokeback Mountain: Disney style. =)Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-36934267986516502792008-11-16T19:34:00.002+08:002008-11-16T19:37:03.913+08:00Text Messages 1051-11001051. I freaking love you. Today is bestfriend day. Send this to all your friends and me. If you get 7 back, you're loved.<br /><br />1052. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this text to at least 5 people in the next 30 seconds, a bird will crap on you today.<br /><br />1053. Hello, I am Cordelia. I died in a fire 10 years ago. Unless you send this message on to 10 other people, I will come to your room tonight and stare at you. I look like a three-year old - without a face. I will show up every night. You have seven minutes to send this.<br /><br />1054. I saw something in the shop window today. It was stunning sexy, cute, beautiful and adorable. I was supposed to buy it for you till I realized it was my own REFLECTION.<br /><br />1055. Those innocent eyes. Those kissable lips. A great smile. The perfect walk. Smoothest talk. Absolutely gorgeous. That's enough about me. How are you?<br /><br />1056. Durex regrets to inform you that your birth was a mistake. Please report to the nearest hospital to be put down immediately. Sorry for any inconvenience.<br /><br />1057. Roses are red, violets are blue, monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo. Don't get angry, you will find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at you.<br /><br />1058. Nobody likes you. Nobody cares for you. Nobody misses you. Nobody wants to see you. Nobody is your best friend. Nobody is happy with you. Hey, Don't cry at all!!! My name is Nobody.<br /><br />1059. A heartbreak is always a blessing from God. It might be a very worst nightmare that leaves you crying in the middle of the night. But it is just his way of letting you realized he saved you from the wrong one.<br /><br />1060. In ancient England, people could not have sex unless they had consent of the king or unless they were in the royal family. When people wanted to have a baby, they had to get the consent of the king and the king have them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had f.u.c.k. (fornication under consent of the king) on it. Hence, that's where the word f*ck came from. Aren't you glad you learned something new today?<br /><br />1061. When you want to make a difference... subtract. Naks! Deep.<br /><br />1062. A man once said: First, I was dying to finish my high school and start college... Then, I was dying to finish college and start working... Then, I was dying to marry and have children. And then, I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work. But then, I was dying to retire. And now, I'm dying, and suddenly I realized, I forgot to live. Live today like there's no tomorrow. Get the most out of life, enjoy it.<br /><br />1063. Before a new chapter begins, the old one has to end. Tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need... Closing cycles, not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance but simply because that no longer fits your life. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. - Paulo Coehlo on Pragmatism<br /><br />1064. If you love someone, you say it right then out loud or the moment just passes you by. - My Bestfriend's Wedding<br /><br />1065. When you find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to begin right away. - When Harry Met Sally<br /><br />1066. If two people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean that they are meant for each other now - Dawson's Creek<br /><br />1067. The only feeling of loss is when you love someone more than you love yourself. - Goodwill Hunting<br /><br />1068. Love not because you like that person, nor because you care. Love not because you know that you can't live without that person. Instead, just love, and forget about why. Good night!<br /><br />1069. Being with someone doesn't guarantee happiness. It doesn't matter how long you've been alone, how long you've hoped, or how long you've waited. There's no such thing as a perfect love story. Hearthaches will always be a part of loving. But remember though not perfect, if that love is meant for you, it will stick with you till the end. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how long. Far from perfect but real.<br /><br />1070. Save yourself the trouble with traffic and cemeteries. Do not visit your departed loved ones anymore. Instead, ask them to visit you. It's more personal and meaningful. Good night!<br /><br />1071. Two dillema's that rattle my mind: How do I get rid of someone who won't go and how do I hang on to someone who won't stay. Sakit sa ulo!<br /><br />1072. The saddest quote by the funniest man ever born on this planet: "I always like walking in the rain so no one can see me crying." - Charlie Chaplin.<br /><br />1073. What's the hardest part in ending a relationship? Not the feeling of letting go, not the part of goodbye, but going through every damn day and having to remember it.<br /><br />1074. God understands that we are not strong all the time. Sometimes, all we can do is rest on his arms as he takes us thru the journey of life. With Him, we are safe.<br /><br />1075. Love and Friend are walking in a village. Love falls into a well. Why? Because Love is blind. Friend also jumps inside. Why? Because Friend will do anything for Love.<br /><br /><br /><br />1076. A man was asked, "How can you believe in God when the world has many problems?" The man replied, "With all these problems, how can you possibly make it without God?"<br /><br />1077. Walang pinipili ang pag-ibig, kahit mahirap ka pa o mayaman. Pero paano kung minahal ka ng isang mahirap at isang mayaman, sino ang pipiliin mo? The one who has everything or the one who has nothing but willing to give everything?<br /><br />1078. Gusto ko sanang kasama ka, kasi, espesyal ka sa akin. Gusto ko sanang katabi ka, kasi, love kita. Gusto ko sanang yakapin ka, kasi, miss na kita. Pero gustuhin ko man lahat yun, hindi pwede kasi malayo ka.<br /><br />1079. Kailangan pa ba kitang itext para maalala mo ako? Kailangan bang lagi akong nauunang magparamdam? Bakit ka ganyan? Wala kang load? Busy ka? Magpapapansin pa ba ako sa iyo para maramdaman mong nagtatampo na ako.<br /><br />1080. Ang love, parang work. Mahirap pero masaya, maraming kakumpetensya, pero kinakaya. May dayoff at overtime, tapos, minsan, may bonus pa. Eh paano kung pagod ka na? Magreresign ka na lang ba??<br /><br />1081. Do you have the looks? Do you have the charm? Let us see if you have what it takes to be the first Mr. and Ms. Undas 2006. Sali ka na, dali!<br /><br />1082. Inday.... will always love you!<br /><br />1083. Kagabi, nanaginip ako. Pumangit daw lahat ng hindi nagtetext. Naisip kita! Natakot ako! Text ka nga kung cute ka pa!<br /><br />1084. Simoy ng Pasko'y narito na. Merry.... galo ka na ba sa akin? Hehehe. Nagpapaalala lang, October na kasi eh.<br /><br />1085. Russian: We are first on space! USA: We are first on the moon! Philippines: We will be the first in the sun! USA: You can't go there, you'll burn. Philippines: We are not stupid, we will go there at night!<br /><br />1086. Doctor: Iho, bakit mo naman sinapak yung lalaki kanina? Boy: E doc, nakita nya nang ninenerbyos ako sa resulta ng AIDS test, tapos, sasabihin pa nya, think positive pare!<br /><br />1087. When the time comes you feel emptiness, just sing this song... Boom tarat tarat! Boom tarat tarat! Tararat! Tararat! Boom! Boom! Boom!<br /><br />1088. Announcing a new technological breakthrough of the new millenium: A new napkin designed to satisfy every woman's secret fantasy. Introducing... Whisper with tongue!<br /><br />1089. As proposed by GMA, sex will now be taxed. Upon penetration, VAT - Vaginal Access Tax. If more than 10 minutes inside - Burial Tax. Upon withdrawal - Exit Tax. Those who don't have sex life, 10% Asset Tax. Those who practice withdrawal method with control - Withholding Tax. Entering other than wife - Road Users Tax. Multiple ejection - Multiple Taxation. Kung matuloy ito, sa iyo pa lang, makakaahon na ang Pilipinas sa lahat ng utang. =)<br /><br />1090. Research said that men are healthier than women because men get fresh milk, 2 papayas and a juicy oyster every night but women only get 1 banana, 2 meatballs and a teaspoon of yogurt.<br /><br />1091. Patient: Doc, I regularly move my bowel every morning at 7! Doc: What is wrong with that? Patient: Kasi, I wake up at 8:00 AM!<br /><br />1092. Oy, may nalaman ako sa tungkol sa iyo. Ikaw talaga. Nakabalot ka na daw ng regalo para sa akin this Christmas! Thanks! Ang sweet naman!<br /><br />1093. Pedro: Ang tapang talaga ni Paeng! Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang parachute! Leo: Ohh, totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan? Pedro: Dun sa burol nya!<br /><br />1094. Lola: Ikulong nyo ang asawa ko, kasi, puro dogstyle ang gusto nya! Pulis: Lola, wala pong illegal sa dogstyle. Lola: Pero inaamoy lang nya, tapos, iihian!<br /><br />1095. Sayang si pare. Ang tatay, summa cum laude sa Ateneo. Ang nanay, summa cum laude sa UP. Ang kapatid, summa cum laude sa DLSU. Ang asawa, summa ma sa iba!<br /><br />1096. Dear Chikito, Pinagsisisihan ko talaga ang pagbasted ko sa iyo. Tinetesting ko lang ang pasensya mo nung sabihin kong sobrang pangit mo, wala kang kwenta at isinumpa kang nilalang. Bawat segundo, ikaw ang nasa isip ko. Kahit sa panaginip, andun ka pa rin. Tanggap na tanggap ka ng mga magulang ko at mahilig lang talaga silang magbiro nung hinabol ka ng itak ng tatay ko at sinabuyan ka ng ihi ng nanay ko. Hindi talaga ako mabubuhay ng wala ka sa akin. Nagmamahal, Bianca. P.S. Congrats sa pagkapanalo mo sa lotto!<br /><br />1097. Maraming bagay ang gumugulo sa isip ko. Bukod sa trabaho, pamilya, pag-ibig, barkada, pera, ang mas gumugulo sa utak ko ay, kung ano talaga ang tagalog sa shampoo?<br /><br />1098. Trivia: Did you know that in Malaysia, the word ARAW refers to the person's sex organ? Wala lang, share ko lang. Anyway, sana, maligaya ang ARAW mo ngayon!<br /><br />1099. Please call I'm at home... Please call I'm at work... Please call... I'm in a meeting, call me later at... Meeting is cancelled... I am late... I will be there at... See you in... See you at... Sorry, I can't help you on this... I will be arriving at... Mga templates. Sayang naman, hindi nagagamit. =)<br /><br />1100. Let's congratulate Manny and Jinky Pacquiao for their baby girl. They'll name their baby after the combination of their names. Manny + Jinky = Manky. =)Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-28085087721528642802008-11-16T19:34:00.001+08:002008-11-16T19:36:51.302+08:00Text Messages 1001-10501001. Work is the greatest thing in the world, so I always save some of it for tomorrow. - Juan Tamad. Very inspirational! =)<br /><br />1002. Buddha says, "In the end, only 3 things matter... how much we loved, how gently we lived and how gracefully we let go of the things not meant for us." Good afternoon!<br /><br />1003. While Dad was polishing his new car, his four-year old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In his anger, Dad took the child's hand and hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, his child said, "Dad, when will my fingers grow back?" Dad was so hurt. He went back to the car and kicked it a lot of times. Sitting back, he looked at the scratches the child made, it read... "I LOVE YOU DADDY"<br /><br />1004. Boy: I saw her. Still pretty and she looks so happy. Girl: I saw him. I felt like crying but I won't let him notice that. Boy: I wonder if she's now taken, maybe, she is. Girl: I'm still single, can't seem to find someone who could take his place. Boy: I know she's angry. Girl: After all he's done, I couldn't get angry. Boy: I'm coward not to choose her. Girl: He was brave enough to choose the one he truly loves. Boy: I regret it. Girl: Wish he never left. Boy: I love her but it's too late, she doesn't love me anymore. Girl: I love him still but I should move on. =(<br /><br />1005. I always dream, I tend to be happy, but my dreams won't fit my eyes, that's why they fell and became tears, because you are the dream that is out of my reach.<br /><br />1006. I just wanna let you know that you are my only special friend. The rest are normal! Hahaha!<br /><br />1007. Every nice friend is a glimpse of God. It is one of life's best blessings, a priceless gift that can never be bought, sold or forgotten. Good morning!<br /><br />1008. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Good morning!<br /><br />1009. Morning thought: Contentment is not always the fulfillment of what you want, it is the realization of how blessed you are for what you already have. Good morning and God bless!<br /><br />1010. I can't be a dummy if I know deep within me I'm real. Yet, some people may misunderstood me, and don't even bother to take a simple glimpse of my worth. But this is what I want to say... What you see is what you get. Judge me? Well, it depends on what you see but knowing me? It is your creativity to look deeper, peel whatever cover you could see, because deep within me is what makes me human. Not perfect, just the real one.<br /><br />1011. Words of a student to live by: "Whenever I feel like studying, I lie down until the feeling is gone." Yeah!<br /><br />1012. You know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night, shifting blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and you see that person in his/her most innocent state. You smile, kiss the face gently so as not to awake that person. You turn around and a grin forms on your face. Then, you feel an arm wrapped around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this. :)<br /><br />1013. Loving is not what we see but what we feel, not how we listen but how we understand, not how we forget but how we forgive. Loving is holding on even when the pain dares you to let go.<br /><br />1014. 1986 was a year of revolutions. It was the year when our people kicked out a dictatorship that stifled our freedom. It was the year the first lady president stepped into power. And it was the year when the Filipino people heard the powerful voice of Regine Velasquez!<br /><br />1015. Take 60 seconds and pass this on to those you want God to bless, and don't forget to send it back to the one who asked God to bless you first. Father, God, bless all my friends and family in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day. May their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen.<br /><br />1016. The Israelites saw Goliath and said, "He is so big, we cannot win." David saw Goliath and said, "He is so big, I cannot miss!" Life is a matter of perspective. Good night!<br /><br />1017. We can love someone and just be happy about it even if we know that it cannot last forever. It is not about having someone. It is not about owning a relationship, it is just about being happy because you know you have loved someone. There is a purpose and meaning behind all events and this purpose and meanings develop you as a person and a lover. Whatever relationship you have in your life now, they are precisely the ones you need at this moment.<br /><br />1018. The night is designed to end the worries and fears of the day, it signifies to leave it all to God and prepare for another day to come. Have a peaceful night and a blessed tomorrow!<br /><br />1019. Friendship is an investment! It gives you security, happiness, trust, love and care. Thanks for depositing this to me without even asking for any interest! Please, don't withdraw!<br /><br />1020. When you hold someone, hold them like it's the last time you will ever see them and when they go, don't make reasons for them to stay... only reasons for them to return.<br /><br />1021. True wealth is not a matter of bank accounts and assets. It's in the values we live and share as well as the persons we keep in touch with and care. Good night!<br /><br />1022. The word "Good morning!" doesn't really mean "Gising na!" But it's a fact one of the silly way of saying I've been thinking of you everytime I wake up. Good morning!<br /><br />1023. Kinds of perfume for women: teener - Cool Water. lady - Giorgio Armani. newly wed - Bulgari. married - Sweet Honesty. spinster - Green Cross. old lady - Albatross.<br /><br />1024. Lagi kitang kinukumusta, tinatanong kung ok ka. Inaalala kahit malayo ka, pero pinakagusto kong sabihin, "Sana, kasama kita para masaya." Kasi, alam mo, "Iba kapag andito ka!" I miss you!<br /><br />1025. Sagutin mo ito ha. Kung mahal mo talaga ang isang tao, maaayos mo itong letters na ito in 3 words. "ETYEFSUEOR" Kapag hindi mo nasagot, means, hindi ka marunong magmahal. Hintayin ko ang sagot ha! Note: Answer is "SET YOU FREE"<br /><br /><br /><br />1026. Kapag may bagay na mawawala sa akin, pwedeng huwag ikaw? Kung may taong lalayo sa akin, sana, hindi ikaw. Kung may taong makakasama ako habambuhay, favor naman o. Pwede, ikaw na lang?<br /><br />1027. Kinatok mo ang puso ko, pinatuloy kita. Pero tumigil ka sa pinto, nag-isip ka pa yata! Tanong ko lang, tutuloy ka pa ba? Kasi, hindi na ako magpapapasok pa ng iba kapag nasa loob ka na.<br /><br />1028. Araw-araw, ang daming problema! Tumingin ako sa langit at sumigaw, "Sana, mamatay na lang ako!" Eh nakita kita, may dalang Red Horse! Sumigaw ulit ako, "Lord, joke lang po! Mag-iinuman muna kami..."<br /><br />1029. Bunso: Huhuhuhuhu! Inay: Bakit umiiyak ang kapatid mo? Ate: Ewan ko sa kanya, hinog na nga ang ibinigay ko sa kanya, sa akin, hilaw, iiyak pa! Inay: Bakit, ano palang kinain nyo? Ate: Sili.<br /><br />1030. Nanay: Lakas mong kumain ah, kapal talaga ng mukha mo! Bwisit! Anak: Inay naman! E kung yung baboy, kumain, tuwang tuwa pa kayo! Sino ba talaga ang anak nyo, ako, o yung baboy?<br /><br />1031. Lalake, nahulog sa septic tank, sumigaw, "Sunog! Sunog!" Dumating ang bumbero, naligtas sya. Tinanong sya, "Bakit sunog ang isinigaw mo?" Lalake: Kung ebak ba, pupunta ba kayo dito?<br /><br />1032. Songs of married couple: First night: Aray naku! 1-5 years: Araw-araw, gabi-gabi! 6-15 years: Paminsan-minsan. 16-25 years: Sana Kahit Minsan. 26-49 years: Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan? 50 up: Maalaala Mo Kaya?<br /><br />1033. Anak: Inay, nung nasa bus kami ni papa, sabi nya, bigay ko inuupuan ko sa dalagang sumakay. Inay: Tama yun anak. Anak: Pero inay, nakakandong lang ako kay papa nun!<br /><br />1034. Learn Japanese. Is this your underwear? - Jakimoto? Speechless - Wasabhe. What are your thoughts? - Kurokuromo? Are you a regular customer? - Sukikaba?<br /><br />1035. Pasyente: Dok, bakit kapag nanonood ako ng x-rated, nagkukulay orange ang t*ti ko? Dok: (inexamine) Kapag manonood ka ulit ng x-rated, huwag kang kakain ng Chiz Curls.<br /><br />1036. Masarap daw mag-asawa ng Canadian. Kasi, pwede mong sabihing maglaba canadian. magsaing canadian. linis canadian. punas canadian. O ano? Ok canadian? Smile canadian.<br /><br />1037. Anak: Tay, bili tayo ng bebelgam. Tatay: Tanga! Hindi bebelgam yun, bubble gum! Anak: Whatever, pahingi ng barya tay. Tatay: Kunin mo dun sa corn first ko! =)<br /><br />1038. Lani Misalucha : Asia's Nightingale. Regine Velasquez : Asia's Song Bird. Christian Bautista : Hearthrob of Asia. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo : Mole of Asia!<br /><br />1039. Ang hangin, kahit saan pwedeng pumunta, pwedeng madama at pwedeng makasama. Samantalang ako, nandito, mag-isa habang iniisip ka. Sana, hangin na lang ako para sa mga oras na ito, magulo ko ang buhok mo! hehehe<br /><br />1040. Gusto mo ngang magmahal, wala namang dumarating. May darating nga, sasaktan ka lang naman, bakit kaya ganun? Samantalang yung iba, kahit mukhang paa, tatlo-tatlo ang syota, nangangarir pa!<br /><br />1041. Ching chang chung shang tian li yao lai! Mo yang shang hai la? Piao xi moi pai poi la tang siang, tiao que, bo cho lo ke. Hayaaaaah! - Jackie Chan from the movie Pink Dragon and the Shaolin Sisters.<br /><br />1042. Bakla: Papa, finger mo naman ako sa pwet. Bf: Ok! Bakla: Deeper, papa! Bf: Uhm! (inserts whole hand and pulls out a Rolex) Ano ito?! Bakla: Surprise! Happy birthday!<br /><br />1043. Sa tuwing nagtetext ka, natatanggap ko naman!<br /><br />1044. A girl was on the way to the dorm. She's the only remaining passenger on the jeep. She had taken this route many times before, so she was surprised when the driver suddenly changed his course. Alarmed, she told the driver she's off to the dorm. After few minutes, they returned to the original route and the driver dropped her off the dorm, but before letting her, he gave her few words of advice. "Ineng, pag uwi mo, hubarin mo agad yung damit mo at kung pwede, sunugin mo agad. Iniba ko yung ruta para makaiwas sa disgrasya. Kanina kasi, pagtingin ko sa salamin, wala kang ulo!" Happy Halloween!<br /><br />1045. From: 0919789***0. Message: Hi, I'm Lara. 5'4" ang height, long hair, maputi at duguan ang mata. Kamamatay ko lang kanina. Kapag hindi mo ito ipinasa sa 15 tao, makikita mo ako mamayang 3AM, nakatabi sa iyo! Happy Halloween!<br /><br />1046. Iiyak ka ba kapag namatay ako? Papatak ba ang luha mo dahil wala na ako. Mamimiss mo kaya ang mga kakulitan ko? O kasabay ng libing ko, pasimple ka lang magtatago ng tinapay at Zest-O?!<br /><br />1047. God gave me a gift wrapped in a glittering gold. So much to my delight, I opened it and found you! Si Lord talaga, October pa lang, pang halloween na yung gift!<br /><br />1048. There is a group of students in a laboratory, each is holding a bottle of aborted fetus. One of them got her phone ringing and it was her dad. The girl ran screaming outside the lab. Why? Her dad on the other line said, "Asan ka ba? Bakit ang ingay, puro batang umiiyak!" Good night! Happy Halloween!<br /><br />1049. One Sunday, a guy plan to go to church to pray for his girlfriend that died a week ago. That church was where both of them attended mass together. While walking for the entrance of the church, the guy suddenly felt weak, the more he gets further inside, the heavier his body become. As the mass ended, the guy was approached by a flower vendor and asked him, "Sir ang sweet mo naman." He asked, "Bakit mo nasabi?" "Kasi, pinasan mo pa ang girlfriend mo papasok ng simbahan." Happy Halloween!<br /><br />1050. May bagong commercial daw si Efren Reyes ngayon. Ang product nya, bagong toothpaste!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-72837433435822820842008-11-16T13:11:00.001+08:002008-11-16T13:13:05.766+08:00Text Messages 951-1000951. If you find yourself in love with someone else who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just did not choose to rest in the other person's heart. Let it go. There's a reason and a meaning. You will know in time.<br /><br />952. Be patient when God does not give you what you want. He knows the best time for you to have it. Just remember that you can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.<br /><br />953. Friendship is like the relation between the hand and eyes. When the hand gets hurt, the eye cries and when the eye cries, the hand wipes its tears.<br /><br />954. Try holding a handful of sand too tightly and you end up holding almost none. The same is true in life. You can't have everything.<br /><br />955. I used to think that when God gave us friends, He was very fair. Until the day you became my friend - that's when I knew I was getting more than my share. ;)<br /><br />956. In life, if you expect everything, anything may seem nothing. If you expect nothing, anything seems everything. Enjoy what you have. You'll be happy.<br /><br />957. Don't rush into falling in love, for love never runs out. Even if they mock you because you are single, just tell them this: "God is just busy writing the best love story that will swipe me off my feet!"<br /><br />958. A simple text means I care enough to flex a few muscles, search your name, wait for "Message Sent" then think of you and smile as I say, "Sarap ng may kaibigan!"<br /><br />959. Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I promise, I'll miss you.<br /><br />960. Kapag may kaaway ka, kahit sobrang dami pa nila, kahit mas malaki pa sila sa akin, tawagin mo ako at babalikan natin sila. Hihingi tayo ng sorry. =)<br /><br />961. In the beginning, God created the world in 6 days. Then, he rested on the 7th day. Then, a stupid moron created a school. From then on, pucha! Nobody rested.<br /><br />962. Love changes you. The way you act, the way you think, the way you decide. Sometimes, you even go against your principles and beliefs in life. Loving doesn't always mean you'll be happy. But you will soon realize that it is better if the person you love would be happy with someone else, than lonely with you. That's what you call sacrifice.<br /><br />963. If I could choose a dream for you, it would be the kind of dream you deserve. A dream that someday, you'll find that special person who will make your life complete.<br /><br />964. A man cornered by a lion prayed, "Lord, make this lion a Christian." The lion suddenly knelt down and prayed, "Bless this food which I'm about to receive thru Christ our Lord. Amen."<br /><br />965. Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)<br /><br />966. If I were your exponent, I will give you powers. If I were your variable, I will give you solutions. But I'm only a friend to subtract your worries, add joy, divide grief and multiply your happiness!<br /><br />967. The right guy isn't the one that flirts outrageously with you. It's the one that stands in the background and catches you when you fall.<br /><br />968. Thought for women to keep: Men are not stupid. You do not need a complicated set of rules to find a good man who loves you. Here is the only thing you need to know, "If a man loves you, he will do anything to keep you around. ANYTHING..."<br /><br />969. Quotes from Smallville: "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved." "Ironic: The one you loved the most is the one who can hurt you the most."<br /><br />970. The paradox of life: Everybody wants to live a long life but nobody wants to get old. Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die. And nobody seems to realize that in our life's journey, no one has ever reached the finish line alive. Enjoy your journey called life. Good night!<br /><br />971. You aren't gonna be his last, his first, nor his only. He loved before, he will love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He is not perfect, you are not either. If he can make you laugh and he admits to being human and making mistakes, be with him. He's not gonna be thinking of you every moment of the day, but he will give you a part that he knows you can break his heart. So, don't hurt him, don't change him, don't analyze and don't expect more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy because perfect guys don't exist.<br /><br />972. Kung talagang para sa iyo ang isang tao, mawala man sya sa iyo ng mahabang panahon, magkikita pa rin kayo. Kapag tama na ang mali at pwede na ang hindi. Kayo talaga sa huli.<br /><br />973. Sa lahat lahat at sa dinami-rami ng taong nakilala ko... isa ka dun! :)<br /><br />974. Goliat: Pareng Teban, nanalo ka raw sa raffle, isang sakong bigas. Eh, bakit lukot yang mukha mo? Teban: Nanalo nga pero isinaing na pagtanggap ko. Tulungan mo akong ubusin ito ha?!<br /><br />975. Sa prusisyon. Pari: Ang mga boys, sunod sa karo ni San Jose, mga girls, sa karo ni Mama Mary. Bakla: Kami father, saan kami susunod? Pari: Mga bruha! Follow me!<br /><br /><br /><br />976. Naniniwala ka ba na kapag malaki ang su... malaki din ang pek...? Totoo naman, di ba? Syempre, kapag malaki ang sugat, malaki din ang peklat! =)<br /><br />977. Exercise daily keeps your body healthy. Like my lola, she was 75 when started walking 5 miles a day. Now she's 98, and until now, hindi pa umuuwi. Wala ba dyan?<br /><br />978. Doctor: Bukod sa akin, may nauna ka bang kinunsulta sa sakit mo? Pasyente: Sa albularyo ho. Doctor: Anong katarantaduhan ang ipinayo sa iyo? Pasyente: Magpunta daw ako sa inyo!<br /><br />979. If you're upset with someone, put yourself in his shoes and walk a mile. So, when he gets mad, you're a mile away na, you have his shoes pa!<br /><br />980. Donya: Bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang almusal dito ay alasais empunto! Maid: walang problema donya. Kung tulog pa ako sa oras na yun, mauna na kayong mag almusal!<br /><br />981. Nanay: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin? Anak: Mas bobo si tatay 'nay, kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, "Tama na Inday, hanggang tatlo lang ang kaya ko."<br /><br />982. Erap: Pareng Ronnie, akyat ka sa puno, pisilin mo bunga kung hinog na. FPJ: (umakyat at pinisil ang bunga.) Oo pare, hinog na. Erap: Sige, baba ka na at sungkitin natin.<br /><br />983. Tumatakbo si Erap galing computer room na sinusundan ng staff: "Sir, bakit ka tumatakbo?" Erap: Tatakas ako, sabi kasi ng computer 'press Ctrl then Escape'.<br /><br />984. Misis: Sa palagay mo, mahal, ilang taon na ako? Mister: Kung titingnan kita sa buhok 18 ka lang; kung nakatalikod 16 lang, kung sa kutis 22 lang. Bale total ay 56 sweetheart.<br /><br />985. Warning: Children playing outside the car can cause accident. Adults playing inside the car can cause children!!!!<br /><br />986. "Asawa" 1st year masaya. After 5 years tanggalin ang A, "sawa na". After 10 years tanggalin ang S, "awa na lang". Sa susunod na taon tanggalin mong A, "wa na!"<br /><br />987. Perfect Heaven: Having American salary, British home, German car, Chinese food, and Pinoy wife! Perfect Hell: Having Korean car, British wife, German food, American home and Pinoy salary!<br /><br />988. Man: Love, nawawala yung singsing na ibinigay mo sa akin. Wife: Maniac ka kasi, kung saan-saan mo ipinapasok yang daliri mo. Hayan o, nalaglag kanina pag-ihi ni Inday!<br /><br />989. May ibinulong ang daga sa elepante. Biglang hinimatay ang elepante. Ano ang ibinulong ng daga? Daga: Buntis ako, ikaw ang ama! Dahil hindi makapaniwala ang elepante, dinala niya ang daga sa doktor. Tuwang tuwa ang elepante at masayang ibinulong ang resulta ng ultrasound. Biglang hinimatay ang daga. Ano ang ibinulong ng elepante? Elepante: Ako nga ang ama, at elepante ang anak natin, kambal!<br /><br />990. Bakit hindi pwedeng magswimming ng sabay-sabay ang mga kalbo sa jacuzzi? Kasi, magmumukha silang fishballs! Tusok na!<br /><br />991. Ang araw ay sisikat kahit hindi mo utusan. Ang hangin ay iihip kahit hindi mo hilingin. At ang puso ay titibok kahit hindi mo pilitin. Pero ang pinakamatindi ay kapag may LBM ka! Lalabas ang ebs kahit gaano mo pigilin!<br /><br />992. Girlfriend: Mahal, ihatid mo ako. Boyfriend: Hindi pwede babe. Wala akong pera. Naoperahan ang lola ko, may sakit ang kapatid ko. Wala pang ipinapadala si mommy galing Japan. Girlfriend: Ayaw mo? Hindi ka makakascore sa akin, tandaan mo yan! Boyfriend: Ahahaha! Aba'y tingnan mo nga naman. May naipit pala na P500 sa bulsa ko! Tara babe, taxi tayo!<br /><br />993. Minsan, naglalakad ako, nag-iisa. Lumingon ako sa kanan, wala akong nakita. Lumingon ako sa kaliwa, wala rin akong nakita. Kaya ayun, tumawid na ako! =)<br /><br />994. Bata: Takot ako bunot ipin. Dentist: Huwag matakot. Bibigyan kita ng gamot, pampatapang. (Ininom ang gamot.) Dentist: O, matapang ka na? Bata: Tang ina, sino gagalaw ipin ko, babasagin ko bungo!<br /><br />995. Those who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. Pucha! Inom lang ng inom! Pupulikatin din yang sorrow na yan! =)<br /><br />996. Sigaw ng nirerape na babae, "Tulong, tulong!" Rapist: Huwag ka nang humingi ng tulong, kaya ko itong mag-isa!<br /><br />997. Teacher: Ano ang pangalan ng pinakamalakas na bagyo? Juan: Tukso po. Teacher: Bakit Tukso? Juan: Kasi, kayrami nang winasak na tahanan, kayrami nang matang pinaluha at kayrami nang pusong sinugatan.<br /><br />998. Sa kumpisalan. Sexy: Father, kasalanan ba ang hindi pagsusuot ng panty? Father: Oo! Sexy: Paano po yan? Wala akong suot na panty ngayon. Father: Magtambling ka ng 10x papuntang altar!<br /><br />999. IDD call from Saudi. Husband: Hon, kumusta ang tindahan? Wife: Department store na! Husband: Ang beer house? Wife: KTV Bar na! Husband: Yung tricycle? Wife: Taxi na! Husband: Eh ang 2 nating anak? Wife: Lima na!<br /><br />1000. "Ya Ye Yi Yo Yu" Ya: Sosyal na yes. Ye: Lasing na yes. Yi: Bisayang yes. Yo: Hip-hop na yes. Yu: One of the best people I've ever known. God bless!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-46719525230632088172008-11-16T13:07:00.001+08:002008-11-16T13:09:16.988+08:00Text Messages 901-950901. I can't be that kind of person others want me to be. I know I can't please everybody for just being me, but I'm glad that there's someone like you who stays beside me, ready to accept whoever the hell I may be! =)<br /><br />902. They say the world will end soon. They may be right but they could also be wrong. But whatever fate the world may have, I won't allow it to end without telling you, "I'm glad you came along."<br /><br />903. A true friend is like the best book, sometimes, the cover may not be so elegant but the contents are like bars of gold that you can treasure for a lifetime. Take care!<br /><br />904. Just read and think. A doll was given to a little girl and she liked it a lot. As time passed by, the doll became dirty and old. The girl's birthday came and she received a new doll to play with. So she threw the old doll and played with the new one. After a few weeks, the new doll started to break. She suddenly realized that the old doll was better. Now, she can never find the old doll. And she had no doll to play with anymore. Who do you think suffered much pain? Yung naglaro o yung pinaglaruan? =)<br /><br />905. A faithful husband was drunk, he didn't know what was happening around him. Upon going home, he directly entered the room and slept. When morning came, he was amazed. Everything is in order, tablet of aspirin and a glass of water with a note, "Good morning hon, I'll just buy groceries for our dinner! Have your breakfast! Luv u!" He was wondering why was that so, eventhough he was drunk last night. He asked his son, "What happened last night? Why is this so? Your mom should be angry." Son replied, "Mom tried to uncloth you, but you said, 'Stop! I'm married.'"<br /><br />906. How can you tell when a politician is lying to you? When his lips move! =)<br /><br />907. A cardiologist died and was put in a heart shaped coffin. Another doctor laughed when he saw it, he was asked why and he said, "I'm just thinking about me, I'm a gynecologist."<br /><br />908. A kid asked a priest: "Father, besides praying, do you have any other enjoyable past time?" The priest tapped the kid's cheek and calmly replied, "Nun, my child, nun."<br /><br />909. People may be unkind, just be kind. They may cheat you, just be honest. They may forget your good deeds, just do good. In the end, it's between you and God, not you and them. Good evening!<br /><br />910. Never let go of anyone that you couldn't go a day without thinking about. There just might be a very good reason why they're always on your mind. Sometimes, it's the brain that knows too well what the heart tries so hard to deny.<br /><br />911. We bridge distance with text messages. Still we know it fails to fill the space but I hope ours isn't just an exchange of text messages. It's keeping friendship alive.<br /><br />912. Once there was a mirror who kills anyone who lie. FVR: I think, I don't smoke. (Killed) Cory: I think, I hate yellow. (Killed) GMA: I think, I'm tall. (Killed) Erap: I think (Killed).<br /><br />913. Brain stuffs. Husband: I heard that fish is a brain food. Wife: You better eat a whale. *** Student: I heard that fish is a brain food. Room mate: Yeah, I eat it all the time. Student: Well, there goes another theory. *** Husband: How long can a man live without brains? Wife: I don't know. How old are you? *** Father: Don't you think our son gets all his brains from me? Mother: Maybe, I still have all mine. *** Don: She's a bright girl. She has brains enough for two. Art: Then, she's just the girl for you.<br /><br />914. Job interview. Boss: Why should we hire you? Tikyo: Mas mabuti po ang bagong tulad ko dahil wala pang sungay. Boss: English please. Tikyo: Well, you see, uh, I'm brand new so I'm not yet horny!<br /><br />915. Ang pagtext ng walang humpay, pambubulabog nang walang sablay, pang-aasar na walang kapantay, mga mensaheng walang saysay, sa Globe, posible!<br /><br />916. Ano ang sabi ng panda sa photographer? Dude, ayoko ng black and white ha!<br /><br />917. Huwag kang maging makasarili. Huwag ka ding maging plastik. Kung kailangan mo ng kausap, dito lang ako, takbuhan mo ako at tatakbuhan din kita. Habulan tayo para masaya!<br /><br />918. Habang binabasa mo ito, alam kong gising ka na! Kasi, paano mo ito mababasa kung tulog ka pa? Gandang umaga! Ingat!<br /><br />919. Erap returns book to the library, bangs it on the table and says, "Too many characters, no story at all!" Librarian: Ah! Kayo po pala ang kumuha ng telephone directory namin!<br /><br />920. Ang pagmamahal ay hindi inaasahan, dumarating ng biglaan. Magugulat ka na lang minsan, kapag bumili ka sa tindahan, 1.50 na pala ang isang Boy Bawang! Ang bilis magmahal!<br /><br />921. Tagalog: Friend, ano ba ang difference ng opinion sa conclusion? Bisaya: Ang tanga mo naman! Papasok ka sa pinto kung opin-yun. Pero con-clus-yon, hindi pwedeng pumasok!<br /><br />922. Wife: Hon, sino si Trixie? Husband: Ah, kabayo yun! Yung pinustahan ko sa karera. Wife: Ah, ganon? Sige, animal ka! Sagutin mo yung telepono. Tumatawag yung kabayo!<br /><br />923. Guy1: Papalitan ko na ang name ko. Guy2: Bakit, ano bang pangalan mo? Guy1: Joseph Putingtae! Guy2: Ang pangit nga! Ano naman ang ipapalit mo? Guy1: Ricky Putingtae!<br /><br />924. Anak: Inay, ano yung 10 commandments? Ina: Iyon ang 10 utos ng Diyos. Anak: Mas mataas po pala kayo sa Diyos. Ina: Bakit? Anak: Mas marami kang utos eh!<br /><br />925. When I say "Good morning!", it means isip kita. When I say "Ingat ka", it means I pray for your safety. And when I say "Ang cute mo!" it means antok pa ako. Good morning!<br /><br /><br /><br />926. Maraming humihingi ng puso ko, lahat sila, siguradong mahal ako. Pero kahit ganun, ayoko pa ring ibigay. Kasi, Ikaw.... Ikaw ba naman ang mawalan ng puso, hindi ka kaya mamatay? =)<br /><br />927. Teacher: Juan, read your 500 words essay to your classmates. Juan: Ok, ma'am! My miming. Bow! I have a miming! My miming is lost. So, I went outside the house and look for my miming! ming! (478x!)<br /><br />928. Kapag iniwan ka ng taong mahal mo, sabihin mo... PASALUBONG!!<br /><br />929. Di ba, mahirap kapag may sakit ka? Hindi ka makakain, hirap lumunok. Tapos sasabihin pa ng nanay mo, "Sige na anak, kumain ka na, kahit tatlong kutsara lang." Pagkain nga, ang hirap lunukin, kutsara pa kaya?!<br /><br />930. When moon and stars at night are gone, and the sun is nowhere to be found at day, there could only be one reason for that. Andun na kay Lumen! Sinungkit na lahat ni Lando!<br /><br />931. The time I saw you, I admit I can't resist to look at your face. The eyes, cheeks, almost everything seem perfect. Then I said to myself, "Walang duda, si Bakekang ito!"<br /><br />932. Last night, my pillow saw me sad. He asked, "Why are you crying? Why are those tears falling on me?" Know what I did? Syempre, tumakbo ako! Ikaw kaya ang kausapin ng unan?! English pa!<br /><br />933. Tatay: Juan, mag-aral ka ha! Juan: Ayoko tay, bobo kasi ako. Hindi ako makaintindi. Tatay: Mag-aral ka nga para makaintindi ka! Juan: Ayoko nga tay! Bakit hindi ka makaintindi? Bobo ka rin ba tay?!<br /><br />934. Isang lola ang naholdap. Lola: Wala akong pera! Holdaper: Alam ko kung nasaan ang pera mo! (sabay pasok ng kamay sa bra ni lola) Lola: Ituloy mo iho, may tseke pa sa ibaba!<br /><br />935. If you see your boyfriend flirting with someone, lapitan mo sya, hilahin at pagpagin mo ang damit nya. Sabay sabi, "Ano ba naman? Malaki ka na, naglalaro ka pa rin ng basura? You know naman di ba? Dirty yan!"<br /><br />936. Kung dumating ang oras na madilim ang iyong tinatahak na daan at parang wala ka nang makitang sikat ng araw sa iyong buhay, sigurado, gabi na! Good night!<br /><br />937. Kung gusto mo sya, pero hindi mo masabi, huwag kang matakot. Harapin mo sya, tingnan mo sya sa mata at sabihin mo, "Someday, matitikman din kita! Rarrr!"<br /><br />938. They say the early bird catches the worm. Sila na lang, hindi naman tayo kumakain ng worm noh? Tulog tayo ulit. Bangon na lang tayo kapag chicken na ang ulam. Good morning!<br /><br />939. ... Nakikita mo ba yang 3 tuldok na yan?! Mabuti naman! =)<br /><br />940. We were born beautiful... Some were just born! Devah! hehehe.<br /><br />941. Bakit ang lamok, hindi naman inaano, nangangagat? Napakayabang! =(<br /><br />942. It is not who I am underneath, it is what I do that defines me. - Batman. Iniisip nila ay hindi mahalaga, mahal kita maging sino ka man. - Robin. Good night! - Kukote.<br /><br />943. Funny things about love: You are trying to forget someone kahit hindi mo kaya. Nagmamahal ka nang hindi nya alam. Seryoso sabay loko. Idedelete mo ang number nya, memorize mo naman! Hindi mo mahal pero iniisip mo. Wala kang paki, pero kung mag-alala ka, sobra-sobra. Habang binabasa mo ito, ngumingiti ka, nagkataon lang ba o gawain mo talaga?<br /><br />944. Importante ang susunod mong mababasa... IMPORTANTE.<br /><br />945. Daughter: Ma, vegetable po ba ang talong o hayop? Mom: Of course, vegetable. Why? Daughter: Eh why the secretary always says, "Hayop talaga ang talong mo sir!"<br /><br />946. Nakakita ka na ba ng white lady sa Balete? O matusok ng ice pick sa paglakad sa Tondo? Nakapick-up ka na ba ng prosti sa Quezon Avenue? Napagtripan ng TBS sa Sampaloc? O maparambol sa Sta. Ana? Nadukutan ka na ba sa Divisoria? O naisnatchan ng bag sa Letre? Naholdup ka na ba sa Recto? O maagawan ng cellphone sa Monumento? Tara na! Byahe tayo! Nang ating makita ang ganda ng Pilipinas at galing ng Pilipino!<br /><br />947. If you are an animal, what would you be? A rabbit or a snail? Rabbits are the most sexually active animals and can have sex many times in a day. Snails live 80 years and will have sex only once in their lifetime, but the orgasm lasts for 18 hours. Would you go for quantity or quality? Ahehehe, choosy ka pa?!<br /><br />948. Ang pag-aaral, parang beer. Mapait sa simula pero masarap kapag nasanay ka na. Masakit sa ulo at nakakaantok. Ang pagkakaiba lang, mas mura ang beer. Kaya bakit pa tayo mag-aaral? Inuman na lang!<br /><br />949. Masaya kapag maraming friends! Tawanan, kantsawan, gimik, trippings. Saya, di ba? Minsan nga, naiisip ko, bakit kailangan pang magboyfriend e nandyan naman kayo? Walang cool-off. Walang split! Yun nga lang, walang ka-sex! hehehe.<br /><br />950. Kapag cute ang friend ko, hindi ko nalilimutan ang pangalan nya! Promise, hindi talaga. Parang ikaw! Hindi ko nakakalimutan ang pangalan mo, kasi cute ka! Tama ba ako? Richard!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-67010083906763688262008-11-16T13:04:00.000+08:002008-11-16T13:07:41.034+08:00Text Messages 861-900861. If two hearts are meant to be friends, no matter how long it takes, how far they go, how tough it seems, God will bring them together to share friendship forever! Nice morning!<br /><br />862. God gives us a loving spirit so we can be better persons; not just gifted with a mind that understands but with a heart that truly cares. Good morning!<br /><br />863. Life is hard but He provides. Life is unpredictable but He guides. Life is unfair but He cares. Life is always a challenge but He watches over us. Good evening!<br /><br />864. When your life goes wrong, don't waste your time looking back at what you've lost for the road of life was not meant to be travelled backwards, just move on and say, "I'm with God, I will get through."<br /><br />865. Blind folded and walking alone, that's what most of us feel. In a lifetime full of major risks and decisions, it might seem safer to remain stagnant. But isn't it more fulfilling if despite the fear of falling from a cliff and bruised knees, steps were taken? In the end, losing and mistakes won't count. What matters most is the person we turned out to be. Not naive, but wise and beautifully molded by experiences. Good evening.<br /><br />866. Rain. Friends. Smiles. Work. Dreams. Sunshine. Wind. Joy. Blue sky. Tears. Words. Reasons. People. Family. Life. You. Just counting my blessings! Good evening!<br /><br />867. What is the secret of success? "Right Decisions" How do you make right decisions? "Experience" How do you get experience? "Wrong Decisions" =)<br /><br />868. I'm a person easily overwhelmed by the wonders this world can give. But I would leave all these just to laugh my heart out over cups of coffee on lazy days like this with someone like you! Good morning!<br /><br />869. Rowing hard doesn't help if the boat is heading the wrong direction. Entrust your life to God and let Him steer it according to His plan and purpose.<br /><br />870. Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, help me remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and Your plans for my life is always better than my dreams.<br /><br />871. If you're falling for someone pero natatakot kang masaktan, makinig ka. If you're into it, why not? Huwag mong isipin kung saan ka babagsak, malay mo, yung makasalo sa iyo ay yung taong para sa iyo talaga!<br /><br />872. Kapag masaya ka, masaya rin ako! Kapag bad trip ka, bad trip din ako! Kapag malungkot ka, malungkot din ako! Kapag nasasaktan ka, nasasaktan din ako! Bakit?! Wala lang! Coincidence.<br /><br />873. I opened the door of your heart and saw that it was full, so full! I couldn't enter anymore. I closed the door and stood outside thinking, "Ang daming pangit, nakakaOP!" =)<br /><br />874. Erap at Starbucks. Erap: Waiter, isang kape nga! Waiter: Sir, decaf ho ba? Erap: Syempre! Bobo! Lahat ng kape, de cup! Bakit, may nakaplato ba?!<br /><br />875. Mommy: Ang anak ko? Gifted child ito noh? Sige nga anak, i-prove mo sa kanila. 5268 + 982 + 7605 + 863. What is the sum? Child: The sum is... the center of the solar system! =)<br /><br />876. Quote for the day: "Kung kaya ng iba, ipagawa mo sa kanya!"<br /><br />877. A sad love story. Bf: Huhuhu! Gf: Huhu! Bf: Huhu Huhu! Gf: Huhuhuhu! Bf: Hu hu huhuhu! Gf: Huhu hu! Bf: Huhuhuhuhu! Gf: huhu Bf: Huhuhu! Gf: Huhu! How sad! =(<br /><br />878. Boy-1: Tanungin mo ako ng English, sasagutin kita ng Spanish. Boy-2: What is more important, heart or mind? Boy-1: Spanish.<br /><br />879. A Chinese caught his wife and her lover in 69 position. The Chinese poked a gun at the man and said, "Kaya pala wala ako anak, ako lagay sperm, ikaw sipsip!" Ewww!<br /><br />880. Thought of the day: "Lahat ng problema, may solusyon. Kapag walang solusyon, huwag mo nang problemahin." =)<br /><br /><br /><br />881. The word "miss" is also part of the word "love". So, when someone says, "I miss you!" it also means that they love you! Now, why did I text you? Simply because... may load ako.<br /><br />882. "Alam mo, balang araw, magiging presidente yang si mayor. Itataya ko itong p*ki ko!" - Cherry Pie Picache in Twilight Dancers.<br /><br />883. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, fattening, or taken na! Parang wala nang choice kundi magkasala! Hehehe.<br /><br />884. Punyeta ka! Pengeng french fries!!! Show this at any McDonald's branch and get a free regular french fries. Promo ends till Dec 31, 2006 per DTI NCR permit # 100303.<br /><br />885. Sino ang dapat gumanap na Bakekang? Si Sunshine Dizon ba? O si Mike Enriquez??<br /><br />886. Students talking. FEU: Your tuition, it's just my allowance for a week. La Salle: Your tuition is just my allowance for a day. UP: Yeah! Pero final exam nyo, seatwork lang namin!<br /><br />887. Hirap ng buhay! Husband: Ano ang almusal natin? Wife: Nasa mesa. Bahala ka nang pumili! Husband: Isang tuyo?! Anong pagpipilian ko? Wife: Mamili ka, "Meal or No Meal"!!!<br /><br />888. Some say that as women grow older, they begin to live a PIOUS life. Pa'yos ng eyes. Pa'yos ng nose. Pa'yos ng face. Pa'yos ng boobs. Pa'yos ng bilbil. Ayos na ang lahat!<br /><br />889. Masarap daw umibig. May honey, sweetie, gummy bears, cupcake, sugar at marshmallows pa! Hmm... masarap pala! Bakit may umiiyak pa?! Ahh.. siguro kasi, sumakit ang ngipin nila!<br /><br />890. A toy, a leaf. A toy, a leaf... A toy a leafin mo kahit hindi batid. Aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid!<br /><br />891. Inside motel after sex, iyak si babae. Man: Huwag kang umiyak, pupunta tayo sa inyo, pakakasalan kita. Woman: Paano kung hindi pumayag ang mister ko?<br /><br />892. Teenager: Lola, pupunta lang kami sa tipar. Lola: Anong tipar? Teenager: Party! Lola: Puro salitang kalye ang alam nyo! Mga P.S. kayo! Teenager: Anong P.S. lola? Lola: Pakin Shet! =)<br /><br />893. Sa probinsya. Bisita: Tatang, naiinom po ba yung tubig dito? Tatang: Nasa iyo yan anak, kung gusto mong nguyain. May point sya! Hahaha!<br /><br />894. Live fully, have fun, be crazy, be weird, go out and syempre, manlalaki! Don't try to be perfect, just be an excellent example of being maganda! Go dioza!<br /><br />895. Lasing: Ipako ang mga bakla! Bakla: Takbo mga sister, takbo! Lasing: Ang gagamiting pako ay t*ti! Bakla: Balik mga sister! P*tang ina! Balik!!!<br /><br />896. Love story ng pokpok at addict. Adik: Will you marry me? Pokpok: Oo, pero ok lang ba sa iyo kahit meron akong past? Adik: Oo, ok lang! Wala naman akong future eh! Hehehe.<br /><br />897. Sa pag-ibig, lahat tayo, may diskarte. Yung iba, words. Yung iba, actions. Eh ikaw, anong diskarte mo? Basta ako, "Atras si Kris, abante ako!!!"<br /><br />898. Want to hear a fairy tale? Once upon a time, Cinderella was so horny. So, she put Pinnochio's nose between her legs and shouted, "Magsinungaling ka, bilis!" Hehehe.<br /><br />899. Si baby centipede, lumapit kay papa centipede. Bumulong, nahimatay si papa centipede. Ano kaya ang sinabi ng anak? Sagot: Pa, bilhan mo naman ako ng Havaianas!<br /><br />900. Kung may problema ka, huwag kang magpapakamatay. Isipin mo, kabaong - 10000, burol - 3500, libing - 5000, kape at biskwit - 1500. Kaya kapag may problema ka, itext mo ako. Red horse - 25 lang!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-58419953029730941712008-11-16T12:58:00.001+08:002008-11-16T13:04:32.707+08:00Text Messages 821-860821. Today is wish making day. If you are reading this SMS, may God bless you and may all your wishes come true and have a good time in all the stages of your life. Just wish anything and forward this SMS to all your friends including me and if you get back this SMS thrice, it means your wish will surely come true.<br /><br />822. News Flash! Danielle Radcliffe better known as Harry Potter is gay! He admitted it in The Insider. =)<br /><br />823. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you see it, and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.<br /><br />824. Everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. That's why it takes great courage to love someone knowing it might end anytime.<br /><br />825. One of the reasons why people hold on to memories so tight is because memories are the only things that don't change, when everything else does.<br /><br />826. People have different outlooks in love. But whatever are those, there's a single truth behind everyone's heartache. "Love hurts when God knows we deserve someone else."<br /><br />827. If you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, always go for whatever makes you happy. Unless you want everybody to be happy for you except you being happy for yourself.<br /><br />828. Be happy when God answers your prayer. But be more thankful when God makes you the answer to someone else's. "Ikaw yun for me!"<br /><br />829. It's not one great deed that defines who you are. It's the little good things you do to others day by day that count. Carry on! People may not notice but God does. ;)<br /><br />830. Never let go of a dream until you are ready to wake up and make it happen. Trials in life are not to make us fail but to see how far we can conquer.<br /><br />831. Life is only travelled once. Today's moment becomes tomorrow's memory. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the gift of life is life itself. God bless.<br /><br />832. Believe while others doubt. Work while others wish. Save while others waste. Persevere while others quit. Pray and stay while others stray! Dare to be different!<br /><br />833. People change no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older, you mature and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at 20 could be the person you hate when you are 35. Find someone who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack, a person whom you can fill in when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person? He/She doesn't exist. There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other.<br /><br />834. It's not how well you jump over the obstacles nor how fast you get to the top but how often you stop to appreciate the simple things in life which makes life worthwhile. Good day!<br /><br />835. All my life, I've been looking for something to satisfy and make me happy. You know it's right when they say that happiness can be found in the simplest things, and I found it in 7 letters. "FRIENDS"<br /><br />836. God saw your parents hungry, He created pizzas. God saw they are thirsty, He created Pepsi. He saw them walking, He created car. He saw them without problems, He created you! =)<br /><br />837. Ku ka ki ka ka ku kata ke ko ku kika ki kuka ko kika. Kuko kiku kuki ka. Congratulations! You have successfully learned the monkey language! Come and claim your banana!<br /><br />838. Dying husband: I have something to tell you. Wife: Don't speak, just rest. Husband: No, I must confess, I had sex with your sister and your best friend. Wife: Sshhh. I know! That's why I poisoned you!<br /><br />839. Ang love, parang sintas ng sapatos. Dalawang dulo ang kailangan para mapagbuhol, pero isang dulo lang ang kailangan para kumalas. - Mr. Quickie.<br /><br />840. Why do others lie to their mate? Sabi, to avoid confrontations and pain daw. Eh mga engot pala sila eh, hindi ba nila alam na the truth hurts for a while but a lie hurts forever!<br /><br /><br /><br />841. Sa lahat ng mga quotes, ito ang pamatay! Bang! (+.+) Hehehe!<br /><br />842. Pedro: Pare, pinapili ako ng misis ko, pag-ibig daw ba o kaibigan? Juan: So, kaya ka nandito ngayon dahil pinili mo ang kaibigan? Pedro: Pare, hindi eh. Pag-ibig ang pinili ko. I love you, pare!<br /><br />843. Nainis din ako nung nabasa ko ito...<br /><br />844. Bakit ang tao, minsan nalilito? Minsan naliligaw? Saan ba sya dapat pumunta? Sa taong mahal nya, o sa taong mahal sya? Ikaw? Saan ka pupunta? Ako, sa kwarto. Matutulog na. Good night!<br /><br />845.Teacher: Kung meron akong limang anak na babae at pitong anak na lalake sa una kong mister at apat na anak sa pangalawa kong mister, samakatuwid... Student: Samakatuwid, ilusyunada at ambisyosa ka sir! Bakla ka sir! Bakla! Classmates, bakla si sir! Nyahahaha!<br /><br />846. Lola: Sino yang kasama mo? Apo: Boyfriend ko po. Lola: Aba, bata ka pa, lumalandi ka na! Pasok sa loob! At ikaw lalaki... "Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Apo: Lola, ang landi moh!<br /><br />847. Ilusyunada! Kahit kailan, hindi yan mangyayari dahil pangit ka. Panget, panget, panget! Panget ka! - Vangie Labalan, Bakekang.<br /><br />848. Judge: Isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord, swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay? Accused: Aba'y meron po sir, pulis po ako!<br /><br />849. Ang mga babae daw ay parang alak. Edad 17-18, lasang Shandy. 19-25, like Champagne. 26-35, Brandy. 36-45, Whisky. 46-50, Ginebra. 51-55, Rubbing Alcohol. 56 up, formalin.<br /><br />850. Sabi nila, ang panget daw, itinadhana para sa maganda at gwapo. Napaupo ako sa isang tabi... Badtrip! Ibig sabihin, para sa pangit ako?!<br /><br />851. Bakit may litrato ng boyfriend ang mga babae sa wallet? Kasi, para pag may problema, tititigan nya at sasabihin sa sarili, "Kung ito nga, nakayanan ko, ibang problema pa kaya!"<br /><br />852. Sa buhay, lahat ng first ay masarap. First love, first kiss, first date, first... Hmmm, basta lahat ng first, kaya nga I want to be the first one to greet you. Merry Christmas! Hehehe.<br /><br />853. Guro: Anong meron sa Pangasinan? Jinggoy: Hundred Islands! Guro: Sa Albay? Bong: Bulkang Mayon! Guro: Eh sa Banaue? Lito Lapid: Uhm, Kwan po ma'am, car accessories! =)<br /><br />854. Man asks pet shop owner how much is parrot on the left. "$50,000 because he knows how to work Windows and Office." How much is parrot on the right? "$80,000 because he knows how to make and administer a website." How about the parrot on the middle? "$100,000, I don't know what he does but the other parrots call him boss."<br /><br />855. Konserbatibong bagong kasal sa kanilang honeymoon. Lalaki: Darling, ok lang bang pasukin ko ang hindi pa napapasok ng iba? Babae: Darling, hindi kaya ako mabingi?<br /><br />856. Marami ang nagtatanong sa akin kung bakit daw lagi akong masaya. Akala nila, wala akong problema. Ngumiti na lang ako at sinabi na, "Marami akong problema, maganda lang talaga ako kaya hindi halata."<br /><br />857. Ako, bad, maingay, magulo, makulit, tigas ulo, at higit sa lahat, pasaway. Pero ito lang ang masasabi ko sa iyo... isa ka pa! Hehehe.<br /><br />858. James Yap: Kris, panglima na ba ako na lalaki sa buhay mo? Kris Aquino: Hindi ha, sa totoo lang, thirty-something na! =)<br /><br />859. What is shock? It is when a man is having sex with a pregnant woman and suddenly, a hand grabs his dick from the inside!<br /><br />860. What do you call a naked, sexy, beautiful woman on the arm of an ugly poor man? Eh, di tatoo!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-90982425690102064312008-11-16T12:54:00.000+08:002008-11-16T12:55:14.826+08:00Text Messages 781-820781. Always maintain a balanced life. Be strong but not rude, humble but not weak, kind but not timid, confident but not arrogant, and best of all, cute, pero kunwari, hindi alam.<br /><br />782. In life, the greatest handicap is fear, the hardest thing to do is moving on, the most useless asset is pride, the scariest thing to do is change and the greatest mistake is giving up.<br /><br />783. Mornings are just like paintings. You need an inspiration to get you going, a smile to brighten it up and a message from someone who cares to color your day. Good morning!<br /><br />784. Have you noticed that the body when split vertically has parts of every organ on both sides except for the heart? This is because the organs were made to be shared, while the heart was made to be given as a whole.<br /><br />785. If you really love someone, you wouldn't have the heart to hurt that person no matter what it takes. You will always find a way to make her happy, because that is what constitutes love among people. You are overjoyed when you see her happy. That's true love. Seeing happiness in her eyes is enough to prove what love is.<br /><br />786. You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary. - Oprah Winfrey<br /><br />787. Life is a matter of choice. You can be a doctor who saves lives, a lawyer who defends lives, a soldier who protects lives, or just be yourself, a monster who touched my life. =)<br /><br />788. You and your best friend planned to have a dinner with your special someone in your birthday. You are so excited and your best friend comes first in your house. You are both so happy and were chatting, watching while waiting for your special someone. It was 12 midnight then and the power went out. The phone rang and you answer it while your bestfriend is looking for a candle. When you answer the phone, your special someone told you that your best friend was in the hospital and was dead. You saw him smiling at you, holding a candle and says, "I will miss you forever, happy birthday!"<br /><br />789. A sad story: There was a guy who was tired of reading his girlfriend's messages. They were always "I miss you," "I love you". One night while lying in a bed, he received a text message from her. He didn't read it, instead, he went to sleep. The next morning, he was awakened by a call from his girlfriend's mom. She was crying while telling him that his girlfriend was raped and killed just last night. He remembered he got a message from her and so he read it. "Honey, please come and help me, somebody's following me."<br /><br />790. So many people fail because they don't get started. They don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin. Remember that you must act now because now is all you have. Tomorrow is reserved for the labor of the lazy. You are not lazy. Success will not wait, if you delay success, it will be wed to another and lost to you forever. This is the time! This is the place! You are the person! Act on this day! Good morning!<br /><br />791. Life is nothing until it is lived. But it is yours to make sense of, and the value of it is nothing other than the sense you choose. - Jean Paul Satre<br /><br />792. Sometimes in life, we ask and seek for someone we can have and keep, but there's nothing much you can really do but to wait for the right person whose quest in life is nothing else but to find you too!<br /><br />793. Sabi nila, karaniwan sa magaganda, tanga. Kasi, karaniwan sa tanga, marunong magmahal, walang expectations, walang paki! Ang mahalaga, mahal, kagaya ko, aminadong tanga! Maganda ako eh, paki nila?<br /><br />794. Tatlong tanga, nagsisiksikan sa maliit na kama. Tanga1: Pare, hindi tayo kasya. Bawas tayo ng isa. Sa lapag na lang matulog. (Bumaba si Tanga3). Tanga2: Hayan pare, maluwag na, akyat ka na dito!<br /><br />795. Juan: (galing eskwelahan) Tay! Ang mga classmates ko, zero lahat! Ama: Hahaha! Ang bobo naman ng mga classmates mo! Ikaw? Juan: Magpapatalo ba naman ako? Syempre, zero din!<br /><br />796. Gf, may tinga sa ngipin. Bf: Love, hulaan ko kung anong ulam nyo kanina! Gf: Talaga? Sige nga, ano? Bf: Tingin ko, Kangkong! Gf: hahaha! weeh... mali! Kahapon pa po yun noh!<br /><br />797. Amo: Knock knock! Chimay: Who's there? A: Amo mo! C: Amo who? A: Tang*na mo inday! Papasukin mo ako, tanga! C: Tanga ka! Kumatok ka kasi. Hindi isinisigaw ang knock knock! Bobo! Ampota!<br /><br />798. When you were born, nagalit si Satan, sabi nya: Shit! Another angel! When GMA was born, tumindi ang galit nya and said... "Patay na. Eto na ang papalit sa akin!"<br /><br />799. We must value each precious moments: Mornings bring hope, afternoons bring faith, evenings bring love and nights bring sex. Sana, palaging gabi na lang no?<br /><br />800. Dalawang baliw sa mental. B1: Pare, tatakas tayo. B2: Paano? B1: Aakyatin natin yung bakod, tatalon tayo palabas. Sumilip si B2 sa bintana. B2: Pare, malas, hindi tayo makakatakas. B1: Bakit? B2: Walang bakod!<br /><br /><br /><br />801. Sabi nila, hindi daw kayang bilangin ng tao ang bituin. Bakit nabilang ko? 3,276,791,548. Kung ayaw mong maniwala, bilangin mo kung mali ako. Ulitin mo at baka ikaw lang ang mali.<br /><br />802. Dad: Anak, ibili mo nga ako ng softdrinks. Anak: Coke or Pepsi? D: coke. A: Diet or regular? D: Regular A: Bote or in can? D: Bote A: 8oz or litro? D: Punyeta! Tubig na lang! A: Mineral or natural? D: Mineral A: Malamig o hindi? D: Tang na! Hampasin kita ng walis eh! A: Tambo o tingting? D: Hayop ka! A: Baka o baboy? D: Lumayas ka! A: Ngayon o bukas?<br /><br />803. Nang ipanganak ako, meron akong sungay. Maaalis lang daw yun kapag may kaibigan akong mabait. Nang makilala kita? Hanep friend! Nagkaroon pa ako ng buntot! You're the best!<br /><br />804. Sa isang mumurahing airline. Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner? Passenger: Ano ba ang choices? Stewardess: Yes or no lang po!<br /><br />805. Are you free tomorrow? Kasi, gusto kitang kausapin! I just want to clarify something! Kung ok lang sa iyo. Meet tayo ng 4:30PM sa harap ng newly opened na Jollibee, sa Lebanon!<br /><br />806. Madre: Father, ginaw na ginaw ako. Pari: Ako rin sister! Gusto mo bang gawin natin ang ginagawa ng mag-asawa? Madre: Oo father! Pari: Sige, ipagtimpla mo ako ng kape!<br /><br />807. Mag-ingat sa mga lalaking "Uy ay!" Uy! May kotse, ay! hiram pala. Uy! Gwapo. Ay bungi! Uy galante! Ay, ang daming utang. Uy! Macho, ay! supot pala!<br /><br />808. Why do cows get pikon after being milked? Kahit sino naman eh! Ikaw na ang gisingin ng 4:00AM, lamasin yung dede mo ng 2 hours, tapos, hindi ka naman pala isesex! Nakakapikon, di ba? =)<br /><br />809. Umiyak ako kay God before. Tanong ko, "Bakit po palagi akong nalalayo sa mga kaibigan ko?" Niyakap nya ako at sabi nya: "Kasi anak, angel ka at aswang sila, magkaiba kayo ng level!"<br /><br />810. If there comes a time that you will just wanna sit and cry, tell me. I won't cry with you nor give advice, but I'll be there sitting with you, holding your hand saying, "Yan, Redhorse. Oh, tahan na!"<br /><br />811. Thought for the day, "Dont think while your mouth is open." Magmumukha ka kasing tanga!<br /><br />812. Juan: Doc, uminom ako ng Viagra kahapon ng umaga. Till now, matigas pa din. Doctor: Naku, next year pa lalambot yan. Juan: Ha? Bakit? Doctor: Tingnan mo ang expiration, 2007 pa!<br /><br />813. Sa loob ng sinehan. Bf: Love, ang sarap ng boobs mo, ang daming katas! Uhmm, nakakagigil! Gf: Aray! Bwisit ka, dahan-dahan lang! Pigsa ko yang nasipsip mo! Yuck!<br /><br />814. A gay was joining the army but came late for the physical examination. The men ahead of him were all naked ready for inspection. He look and shouted, "Dios ko! Maloloka ako! Ano ito? Eat all you can?" =)<br /><br />815. Good morning, good morning, dahil sa Pampers, ang sleep mo, ang sleep mo, mahimbing. Iwas leak, iwas leak up to 12 hours, masarap, masarap ang gising! Ganado, ganado na matuto. Bulaga, bulaga, yehey! Yehey! Hahahaha! Masarap, masarap ang gising! Yeah! Forward this to 10 friends and see a miracle in 10 days. May himala! Mewon!<br /><br />816. A story that can be read only by Smart people... *The end* May nabasa ka? Wala, di ba? Ako rin eh, wala! Globe kasi tayo. Kung Smart ka at di mo nabasa, matakot ka!<br /><br />817. "Magiging star ako!" - Alma Moreno in Bombastar.<br /><br />818. Limit your sex life. Do it only on days that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tonight, Tomorrow, Tatorday, Tanday, Taumaga, Tatanghali, Tagabi at Tahapon!<br /><br />819. Paano if one day, sabi ni Doc, you need a new nose or else, hindi ka na makakahinga. Nagpaopera ka, nang matapos, ask mo kung sino ang donor? May inabot na note, sabi: Ingatan mo ang ilong ko, love, Mike Enriquez.<br /><br />820. Doctor talking to moms: Mahilig ka sa sweets, so you named her Candy. Mahilig ka sa pera, so you named her Penny. Third mom, tumayo. "Let's go Dick, bago tayo mainsulto dito!"Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-77686626811965562342008-11-16T12:48:00.000+08:002008-11-16T12:53:40.376+08:00Text Messages 741-780741. Let me share this beautiful text: I asked God, "How do I get the best out of life?" God answered: "Face your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, prepare for the future without fear." Then he added, "Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live." The present is inevitable! Remember the power of God! God bless! Good morning!<br /><br />742. How generous of God, granting us another day... to prosper, to win a heart, to right a wrong, to make things better and to live life with joy! Have a good day ahead! God bless!<br /><br />743. A butterfly was in love with a white rose. One day, the butterfly proposed to the rose. The white rose told him that when she turns red, that's the only time she'll love him. The butterfly then fly, cut his body and spread his blood on the rose. The rose turned red and fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly was no longer alive. Love sacrifices are sometimes useless especially if that someone doesn't know how to appreciate. They will come to realize important things when it's already too late.<br /><br />744. Do you know what makes me happy when you text me? Not your message, but your name that appears when it beeps. Because I miss the sender behind it.<br /><br />745. As you admire the wonderful things God has made today, remember you're one of them! Wonderful inside and out. You are blessed! You're special! You're loved! Good morning!<br /><br />746. If my message comes in the wrong time, sorry for the disturbance. And when your phone beeps only to find out na ako lang pala, hope you're not disappointed. Hindi naman siguro masama na maalala kita, di ba?<br /><br />747. Friendship is not about "kasalanan mo yun." Dapat, "i'm sorry." Not "Nasaan ka ba?" Dapat, "Andito ako." Not "Bakit ganyan ka?" Dapat, "I understand." and not "Sana ganito ka." Dapat, "Thanks kasi ganyan ka."<br /><br />748. Breakfast advisory: Ang kape ay pampanerbyos samantalang ang gatas ay pampalakas. Kaya huwag uminom ng kapeng may gatas dahil ito ay pampalakas ng nerbyos. Gandang umaga!<br /><br />749. It is better to have nobody than somebody who is half yours, half there or doesn't want to be there, or is there and then suddenly disappears.<br /><br />750. News: GMA kidnapped by terrorists. $5 million ransom demand or she'll be set on fire. All donations appreciated... so far, 500,000 liters of gasoline received! Hahaha!<br /><br />751. A good husband was asked. Do you sleep with other women? He replied: I sleep only with my wife. With other women, I stay awake all the time!<br /><br />752. Police arrests a prostitute who protests: I am not selling sex! Cop: Then, what are you doing? Prostitute: I'm a saleswoman selling condoms and offering free demo!<br /><br />753. Heartthrob ba ako? If yes, huwag kang magreply. If no, itext mo sa akin ang tagalog ng toothpaste, cake, roller coaster at ng remote control.<br /><br />754. One day, a sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac were talking in a psychic ward... Sadist: I'm bored, why don't we torture a cat? Zoophile: Yeah, we'll torture it and then f*ck it! Murderer: We'll torture it, f*ck it and then kill it! Necrophile: We'll torture it, f*ck it, kill it and f*ck it again! Pyromaniac: Yeah! Then, we'll burn the cat! ... Sudden silence... Then, all asked the masochist, "Why he didn't say anything?" Masochist: Meow!<br /><br />755. Anong tawag sa kuto na nasa ulo ng kalbo? Eh di homeless! Boink!<br /><br />756. Meron ka na lamang 6 na oras para mabuhay! Kung nais mong magregister muli para patuloy na mabuhay, reply BUHAY. No need to reply kung hindi mo na nais i-extend ang iyong buhay!<br /><br />757. Doc: What happened to your vag*na? Ang laki! Girl: I was raped by an elephant. Doc: But elephants have small d*cks! Girl: Ampotahnang yun! Fininger muna ako! Shet!<br /><br />758. Teacher: Ano ang ating pambasang hayop? Nagsisimula sa letter K! Student: Kabayo? Teacher: Mali! Nagtatapos sa letter W. Student: Kabayow? Teacher: Mali, may sungay ito! Student: Demonyong Kabayow?! Teacher: Get out!<br /><br />759. "Ako, Edward, pinakasalan kita dahil mahal kita, pero pati ba naman mga katulong, dapat kong pakisamahan?" - Sharon Cuneta, Madrasta.<br /><br />760. Faces in text. :-( naexpired na unlimited. :-D after sex. :-< pretending na demure. :-P pacute na smile. :0 imbyerna sa buhay. %-) bangag/lasing. B-) nakakita ng prospect.<br /><br /><br /><br />761. Just imagine life without girls. The results... Telephones silent. Malls empty. Shoes and bag industries closed. All mobile companies in loss. No cosmetics. No flowers. No valentine's day. No jewelries. No perfumes. No travelling. Devastated economy. But all men go directly to heaven!<br /><br />762. Priest (in Malacañang): Next Sunday, I'll preach about the sin of lying. To understand more, I want you all to read Mark, chapter 17. (Next Sunday) Priest: How many of you read Mark chapter 17? (Only GMA's hand went up!) Priest (smiled): Mark has only 16 chapters. Let's now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.<br /><br />763. Why are Egyptian children always confused? Answer: Because after death, daddy becomes the mummy.<br /><br />764. Friend always understand each other, that's why wem dgrfhb djhgl adho lasofd. Ano? Hindi mo maintindihan? Ako din eh! Friends nga tayo!<br /><br />765. Sa bakery. Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake. Ale: Bah, sosyal ka! Namamalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake! Ito ang dalawang pandesal. Pulubi: Hindi po pwede, kasi, birthday ko ngayon!<br /><br />766. Mister: Kapag namatay ka, isusulat ko sa nitso mo, "Malamig nung buhay, mas malamig nung namatay." Misis: Ah, ganon ha! Sa nitso mo naman, ilalagay ko, "Sa wakas, tumigas din!" =)<br /><br />767. Sa isang haunted historic place. Babae: Baka may multo dito! Guide: Sa tagal nang work mo dito, wala pa akong nakikitang multo. Babae: Whew! Gaano ka na ba katagal nagwowork dito? Guide: 285 years na. Awooo!<br /><br />768. Minsan, sa dami ng problema, gusto kong umiyak at tumakbo sa malayong malayo, kaso... as usual, tinatamad ako.<br /><br />769. Sa isang museum... Lalake: Ito bang pangit na ito ang tinatawag ninyong "art?" Ang pangit! Nakakasuka! Painting ba ito? Guide: Hindi po sir. Salamin yan!<br /><br />770. Globe advisory: Salamat sa paggamit ng Globe Unlimitxt. Ang walang load ngayon ay maaari munang magpagulong gulong at tumalon talon para malibang ang sarili. Salamat.<br /><br />771. Tatanggalin na ang 26K girls sa Deal or No Deal. Macho men na ang ipapalit na nakasuot lang ng brief na may mga numbers. Kaya ang sasabihin na ni Kris, "Men, open your brief case!" Exciting!<br /><br />772. Time can heal all wounds, time can give you another chance, time can help you forget, time can let you move on. Dati, ang alam ko lang e time is gold! Improving! =)<br /><br />773. Wife: Honey, kapag hawak ko ang bote ng softdrinks na ito, naaalala ko ang ex-boyfriend ko. Husband: Eh ako, kelan mo ako naaalala? Wife: Kapag subo ko na ang straw.<br /><br />774. Saan ka na? Magreply ka naman. Andito kami, naghihintay sa iyo sa may GMA Studio. May taping tayo ngayon sa commercial ng Safeguard. Bilisan mo, ikaw ang germs! hahaha!<br /><br />775. Man: Ne, anong pangalan mo? GRO: Paquita po! Man: Aba, antigo na yang pangalan mo. Bihira na ang may ganyang pangalan. Sino yung mga kasama mo? GRO: Yung nakaputi, si Pahipo. Yung nakapula, si Pahiga, at yung nakastripe, si Patuwad.<br /><br />776. Nun: I was raped... what shall I do? Mother Superior: Here, take this calamansi. Nun: Will this ease the pain? Mother Superior: Sipsipin mo! Nang mawala ngiti sa mukha mo, Bwiset!!!<br /><br />777. Riiiiinnnnnng! Riiiiiiiiiiinnnnng! Kris: Banker? Salamat!<br /><br />778. Isang gabi, nanaginip ka. May isang batang nadapa, tinulungan mo sya. Nagulat ka nang yakapin ka nya nang mahigpit at sinabi nyang, "Isinilang sana ako kung nagkatuluyan kayo, nice meeting you mommy!"<br /><br />779. Mahirap magmahal ng patago, kasi baka mahalin ka rin nya ng patago. Kung ganon din lang, wag na kayo magmahalan! Magtaguan na lang!<br /><br />780. Hirap umibig, hirap din umiyak. Hirap magmahal, hirap din masaktan. Hirap umasa, hirap din mabigo. Pero mas mahirap sa lahat... maligo na walang tabo, tapos pambuhos mo bote ng YAKULT!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-62014114461165142692008-11-16T12:45:00.000+08:002008-11-16T12:47:46.388+08:00Text Messages 701-740701. Learn to love with all your heart and accept the unlovable side of others. For anyone can love a rose, but only a great heart can include the thorns.<br /><br />702. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight and wipes the wrinkles away. Hope you share a lot and receive a lot of smiles today! Here’s one from me... =)<br /><br />703. Today, choose to be gentle rather than forceful. If you raise your voice, may it be only in praise. If you clench your fist, may it be only in the fervor of prayer. If you make a demand, may it be only of yourself. A fruitful day be yours!<br /><br />704. Carrying a lantern into a forest night doesn’t guarantee you’ll see all the trees, it only means that you can see a few steps ahead of you, far enough to keep your footing sure. Likewise, as the Lord lights your path, He may not shine all the answers to your shadowy questions in your mind, but He will give you all the light you need to scale life’s obstacles with faith and confidence.<br /><br />705. Friendship is a network that needs no recharge! No roaming! No validity limit! No activation! No signal problems! Just don’t switch off our heart.<br /><br />706. “Having a dream you don’t pursue is like buying an ice cream cone and watching it melt over your hand.” - Frank Papasso<br /><br />707. God never says, “do this!” “do that!” He never bullies us. Instead, He reaches out for your hand & lovingly says, “My child, I’m here. We will do this together.”<br /><br />708. Take time to listen to your heart sometimes. You need not to ask yourself who you really love most, but ask yourself who really makes you happy and who makes you feel loved.<br /><br />709. Dear SOLDIER, I see that you’re tired. I tell you, drop your sword and put down your shield. Why worry about the fight? After all, it’s not your battle. It’s Mine. All you have to do is to be in the battle field. Then against the thousand who tried to destroy you, there I will stand and rescue you. Winning this war requires neither only Me nor only you. But rather, ME and YOU. Just do your best and I’ll take care of the rest. Your COMMANDER, JESUS.<br /><br />710. I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you this... it’s like waiting for hours and hours... I know it’s the right time for me to say this. I’m starting to fall... asleep. Good night!<br /><br />711. God's blessing may come as a surprise and how much you receive depends on how much your heart can believe. May you be blessed beyond what you expect! Good morning.<br /><br />712. I believe that a man is lucky if he wins the first love of a woman. But the truth is, a woman is luckier if she wins the last love of a man. =)<br /><br />713. Life is not like a train, that when you miss it, you can say, "I'll catch the next one." Never waste the opportunity to love it and have fun because this joy ride passes just once.<br /><br />714. All things in life are temporary. If they're going well, enjoy, they won't last forever. If they go wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either. Good morning!<br /><br />715. I admit that I may not be the best friend for you, or even give you a perfect care. But there's only one thing I can promise... "214" - 2 be 1 of your friends 4ever.<br /><br />716. At times when you're lonely and have no one to turn to nor a hand to hold on, put your hands together and pray. God is the answer! Hope you don't forget Him! =)<br /><br />717. There was a blind girl who hate herself because of being blind. She hate everyone except her boyfriend. One day, the girl said that if she can only see the world, she will marry her boyfriend. One day, someone donated eyes to her and then, she saw everything including his boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, "Now that you can see, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is also blind, and she refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walks away with tears and said, "Just take care of my eyes." =(<br /><br />718. There are two greatest days in your life, the day you were born, and the day you discovered why.<br /><br />719. It's an enigma when you fall in love and accept that some good things never last. Suddenly, you'll begin to see yourself as nothing. It's an agony to accept that despite the feelings you have, it's all not enough. But when you love someone, you would do the hardest thing. And yes, it's not going to be easy, but at least you know that what you felt was real.<br /><br />720. When nice people touch our lives, we see how beautiful and wonderful our world can be. Blessed are those who give us love, nice thoughts and friendship. Good day!<br /><br /><br /><br />721. Never love someone who would lie to you, who would never show his/her trust and would never ever let you feel you're loved.<br /><br />722. Don't talk too much when you're mad, you might say things you don't mean to say.<br /><br />723. Making a decision takes time. Don't rush. Life is like a chess, one wrong move and your game is all messed up!<br /><br />724. Never let your pride ruin everything. It's better to lose your pride than to lose the love of your life because of your pride.<br /><br />725. Don't talk when your mouth is full, it might spill out all the kanins and the ulams. =)<br /><br />726. A day without laughter is a wasted day. - Charlie Chaplin.<br /><br />727. A true friend stabs you in the front. - Oscar Wilde<br /><br />728. Never explain. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway. - Elbert Hubbard<br /><br />729. If you're not curious, it's a sign that you are stupid. - Dr. Frank Crane<br /><br />730. It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. - Andre Gide.<br /><br />731. It's never too late to be what might have been. - George Elliot.<br /><br />732. Today is international day for people with special needs. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I've done. I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, or occasionally bang your head on a wall. You hang in there, sunshine, you're special! =)<br /><br />733. My heart says I have to take care of you. I should make sure that no one will harm you. But I just can't always be there for you, so please, konting ingat naman. Alam mo naman na mahal na mahal kita.<br /><br />734. Bakit ang kaibigan, kapag may problema ka, tutulungan ka? Kapag malungkot ka, nandyan sya? Kapag umiyak ka, papatawanin ka? Kapag may lakad, isasama ka? Pero kapag sinabi mong maganda ka, aangal. Ang labo, no?<br /><br />735. Minsan, pakiramdam ko, wala na akong ginawang tama. Lahat may mali. Lahat may puna. Pero kapag naiisip kita, masaya na ako dahil sa dinami-dami ng katangahang nagawa ko, at least, sa pagpili ng kaibigan ko, tumama ako!<br /><br />736. "Hindi mo dapat iyakan ang nakaraan. Isipin mo, bakit sa harap nakalagay ang mata? Iyon ay para lagi mong makita ang hinaharap..." - Nobita's teacher, Doraemon.<br /><br />737. When life gets stormy, remember to anchor deep. Pray and hold on, don't be surprised if someone comes across the water to give you a hand. Ako yun! Nasa yacht. You know, sosyal kasi... hehehe.<br /><br />738. "Kung ang kare-kare may puso, tao pa kaya..." - Mama Sita. =)<br /><br />739. Life is like a box of Chocnuts, you'll never know if it's durog or not! Toink!<br /><br />740. "Ang mga pasa at bukol na ito ay ebidensya ng kanyang marubdob na pag-ibig. Kapag hindi nya na ako sinasaktan, ibig sabihin, hindi na nya ako mahal, at yun ang aking ikamamatay." - Nova Villa (Super Inday and the Golden Bibe) Pamatay! Nyahaha! =)Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-80877147760490433652008-11-15T22:30:00.004+08:002008-11-16T00:24:00.547+08:00text messages 221-270221. It could take a thousand workers to build a castle, a million soldiers to protect its country, but it only takes one man to build a happy home.<br /><br />222. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.<br /><br />223. Hearts are easily torn but can also be sewn together by someone who cares. Though the scars won't fade, the stitches will always be there to remind you that someone loves you enough to keep you whole again.<br /><br />224. Can I keep you and never let you go? Can I hold your hand and hug you tight? Can I tell the world how lucky I am to have you in my life? Or simply, can you be my friend for the rest of my life?<br /><br />225. When you find faults from someone you love, hold on, don't judge nor doubt but trust and understand that someone is doing best to love you more. Remember, love has nothing to explain.<br /><br />226. I've always wanted to be free, to fly away and never return... but then, somewhere beyond that, I wish to be owned, to be held, and never be let go.<br /><br />227. Day and night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel to be always together yet forever apart?<br /><br />228. "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with the problems longer." - Albert Einstein.<br /><br />229. Every morning, please leave your worries outside your gate's doorstep, because that is where they pick-up the garbage. May all your days be worry-free. God bless!<br /><br />230. Maybe today, you got hurt, cried, troubled, angry or just plain bored. Whatever it was, remember that tomorrow is another day and today will surely pass. Good night!<br /><br />231. 50 years from now, I'd be so old, I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might... But I won't.<br /><br />232. I'll lend you my shoulder for you to cry on, my ears to listen to, my hand for you to hold, my feet to walk with you, but I can't lend you my heart coz it already belongs to you.<br /><br />233. Falling in love with you is the second best thing in the world... Finding you is the first!<br /><br />234. How would you know if he really loves you? It's when you scream, he's calm. When you slap him, he kisses you. When you cry, he hugs you. When you tell him you hate him, he tells you he loves you!<br /><br />235. There are tulips in my garden, there are tulips in the park, but nothing is more beautiful than our two lips meeting in the dark!<br /><br />236. People seldom say 'I love you' and when they do, it's either too late or the love is gone. But when I say 'I love you' it doesn't mean you have to stay, but I wish you'd never go away.<br /><br />237. The best part of loving is not wishing that the person loves you as much as you do, but in the feeling that you love the person for more than you thought you could.<br /><br />238. To love someone is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you ang give you joy and strength, but sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.<br /><br />239. It is really painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but it is even more painful to ask the person to stay even if you can never make it work out the way it should be.<br /><br />240. Saying goodbye makes you realize how much you love, how much you will miss and how much loss you had... knowing that the person will never be yours at all.<br /><br />241. If you feel love in your heart, you are blessed by God, and if you share with others the love you have in your heart, you become a blessing from God. Good morning!<br /><br />242. Let go of the hand of the person you love, but don't let go of God's hand for when you hold His hand, He might be holding the person you love on His other hand to let you hold each other in time.<br /><br />243. True love covers the eyes to see no wrong. True love darkens reason to consider every situation. True love loves more when it hurts much. True love is still true even to the point of letting go. =(<br /><br />244. In our life, there will come a time in where we will hate it because of the things that hurt us but we should never give the blame to our lives because whatever! Waah! Hirap mag-english! Good morning na lang!<br /><br />245. A train is about to crash! A frantic virgin strips off and says, "Can anyone make me feel like a woman before I die?" So a man takes off his clothes and says, "Iron these!"<br /><br /><br /><br />246. From the moment I saw you, I wanted to be inside you, I love your smell, the way your tongue feels, the way you tighten and loosen, mmmmmmm... new shoes!!!<br /><br />247. Someday you may lose your hair. You may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never loose is your good looks, coz you can't lose what you don't have!<br /><br />248. Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth. Thank you for being the pee in my pants. =)<br /><br />249. Jack & Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.<br /><br />250. He came to me one night... explored my body... licked, sucked, swallowed and had his fill... when satisfied he left... I was hurt... damn mosquito!<br /><br />251. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you. At noon I do not eat because I think of you. In the evening I do not eat because I think of you, and at night I do not sleep because Im hungry.<br /><br />252. Viagra now available in eye drops! You don't get an erection but you look hard!<br /><br />253. I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creating a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in and out, up and down, can't wait till next time. I love my toothbrush!<br /><br />254. What's the closest thing to a woman's period? Your salary! It comes once a month, lasts about 3 or 4 days and if it doesn't come, everyone's in trouble!<br /><br />255. What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? If we stick together, we can stop this shit! =)<br /><br />256. There was a mommy fish who got seperated from her baby fish. When they saw each other again after a very long time, the mommy fish said to the baby fish: isda you? Boink!<br /><br />257. A few good quotes: 1. Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks us all; 2. I was born brilliant, education ruined me; 3. Don't drink water, fishes fuck in it. =)<br /><br />258. A priest lost his parrot, asked during mass. Anyone got a bird? All men stood up. I mean, anyone seen a bird? All women stood up. I mean, anyone seen my bird? All nuns stood up!<br /><br />259. Love is like a bowl of oatmeal; warm, mushy and good for you. Lust is like soup, it is only good when it is hot. =)<br /><br />260. Wishing you the warmth, happiness and goodwill of the season and all the best that new year can bring, Merry Christmas!... Walang pakialamanan! Load ko to! =) Note: Must be sent when it's not Christmas season, hehehe!<br /><br />261. Nakaamoy si ngongo ng pabango sa isang tindahan. Ngongo: Ale, mango! Ale: Pabango yan, hindi alimango! Ngongo: Ale, mango! Nag-agawan sila at nabasag ito. Ngongo: Ale, masag!<br /><br />262. Ganoon ba talaga kapag hindi ka na kailangan? Bigla ka na lang mawawalan ng puwang sa puso ng isang tao. Masasaktan ka tapos maiisip mo, "Paano nya ako nagawang saktan?! Eh hindi naman sya kasarapan." =)<br /><br />263. Nakatakas si Erap, FVR at GMA sa mga terorista at nagtago sa mga sako sa isang farm. Terorista1: Anong nakita mo dyan? Terorista2: Mga sako lang. Terorista1: Tingnan mo ang laman! Sinipa ng terorista ang unang sako, "Meow", sabi ni FVR! Terorista2: Pusa! Sinipa ang pangalawang sako, "Aw aw!" sabi ni GMA! Terorista2: Aso! Sinipa ang ikatlong sako... Walang tunog kaya sinapa uli ito nang sinipa ng terorista. Dahil sa sakit ng sipa, napasigaw na si Erap. "Patatas!"<br /><br />264: "Nardo" Tila bebot kung maglakad, nakisabay sa akin, ako'y napatingin sa dalagang nakabalot ng hiwaga. Mapapansin kaya, Adam's apple na namamaga. Kung naloko mo sila, naku lagot at nakilala pa. Koro: Sigaw na nananawagan, baka sakali tol matulungan. Multong baklang iniiwasan, sa pera na lang dinadaan. Nag-aabang ng langit, pati sa CR, naninilip. Sa likod ng mga kwarta, kahit kiss lang daw papa!<br /><br />265. Sa tuwina'y naaalala ka. Sa pangarap, laging kasama ka. Ikaw ang alaala, sa aking pag-iisa, wala nang... kasunod yan! Matutulog na ako! (-_-)<br /><br />266. When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap the idiot on the face! Whapak! =)<br /><br />267. Sun is now up smiling in the sky! The city is alive again with the divine guidance. Good morning mga fans! Your idol is now awake! Pwede nang magtext! =)<br /><br />268. Prayer of the romantically disfranchised delusional or merely hopeful: "Lord, kung sya na, please let everything fall into place. Pero kung hindi sya, eh Lord, pwede bang sya na lang?" =)<br /><br />269. Pedro: Miss, magkano serbisyo mo? GRO: 500 sa kama, 300 sa sofa, 200 sa sahig at 100 sa damuhan. Pedro: Sige, 500! GRO: Wow, bigatin! Isang beses sa kama? Pedro: Hindi! 5 beses sa damuhan!<br /><br />270. There are 70 ways to make a woman happy. Number one is shopping, and the rest is 69! hahaha!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-32606758727439718132008-11-15T23:12:00.001+08:002008-11-15T23:12:36.324+08:00text messages 661-700661. Sometimes, if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most of the times, what you want and what you get are two different things. Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul. Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole. Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger. Although we can't have everything we want, we can want everything we have.<br /><br />662. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's difficulties. We should learn to let go of the past and recognize that everyday won't be sunny, and when we find ourselves lost in darkness and despair, remember - it's only in the black of the night that we can see the stars, and those stars will lead us back home. So, we should not be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble, to fall. Because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing things that scare us the most.<br /><br />663. A cute love story: There was a little boy whose first love was a young girl in a picture which he found and picked from the street. As time went by, he got married, but still kept it. One day, the wife found it and asked, "Where did you get this?" The man said, "I kept that since I was a child, why?" The girl replied, "I lost this picture when I was 9..."<br /><br />664. Love? Shakespeare explained it thru Romeo and Juliet. Picaso thru his paintings. Lovers thru flowers. But no one beats my bestfriend's style, he explained it to me thru the cross.<br /><br />665. We don't look for love because it's lonely to be watching movies alone, because it's sad to eat meals on your own, because it's nice to cuddle up with someone on rainy days. We look for love because we want to be accepted, for the sloppy ways we dress, for the clumsy way we eat our meals, for bad hair days and for the simplicity in us. Love is an act of acceptance, that with all our imperfections, we are accepted and loved.<br /><br />666. Joey said to Dawson in Dawson's Creek, "I fell in love twice, first was with you, second was the person you became when you're already mine..." Sweet noh?<br /><br />667. There maybe those on earth who dress better or eat better, but those who dream of me sleep better and wake up happier! Good night!<br /><br />668. If love gets broken, you can look for a new one. If a glass gets broken, you can always buy a new one. But if friendship gets broken, you can never have the same one.<br /><br />669. In the maze of love, try not to lose yourself, so that when love is no longer willing to stay, you still have the greatest posession and gift that no one could take away... yourself.<br /><br />670. Once, I asked myself, "Is love a multiple choice test or is it true or false?" Out of nowhere, a voice answered, "Sorry to tell you this, but love is a thousand word essay."<br /><br />671. Appreciate life itself even though it's not a bed of roses. Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you wish but the appreciation of what you have. Good evening!<br /><br />672. I love mornings! It makes me think of the value of life, it asks me to live not on yesterday's sorrows nor tomorrow's dreams, but today's blessings! Good morning! Magandang umaga!<br /><br />673. Sometimes, when you love someone very much, you have to go thru every tear, every heartache, every pain. Because in the end, it's not how you suffered, but how much you loved!<br /><br />674. We may go seperate ways, live different lives. We might have different interests, do different things, believe in different aspects. But for as long as we believe we're friends, we'll forever be.<br /><br />675. Don't shield yourself from pain, never fear pain either. Face whatever it is that comes your way. Don't be afraid to stumble and fall, to cry and get hurt. Dread not those helpless moments, when you can't even fight your tears back, and all you can do is stare at something and let time pass. You can only understand happiness after you've felt pain. Life is not fair, it never was, and it won't ever be. All we can do is to live it to the fullest.<br /><br />676. I've learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you're only letting that person continue to hurt you. I've learned that ignoring the facts do not change the facts. I've learned that the easiest way to grow as a person is to surround yourself with people smarter than you are. I've learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. And I've learned that life is tough, but you can be tougher!<br /><br />677. Here is a sweet truth: "Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else." Here is the bitter catch: "When you kept on waiting but nobody came, it means that you've already let that one pass you by."<br /><br />678. A great life is not about routine but doing something rare. To cherish and not to compare. To forgive, not to blame, and to be loving without counting. Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them. Joke over your troubles but gather strength from them. Have fun with your difficulties but overcome them.<br /><br />679. You can't claim to be good if you've never been tempted to be bad. You can't claim to be faithful if you've never had the opportunity to be unfaithful. Integrity is built by defeating temptation to be dishonest, humility grows when we refuse to be prideful and endurance develops everytime you reject the temptation to give up. Good morning!<br /><br />680. When life gets difficult, when the tasks become tiring, when you are about to give up, always remember that... the snail got to Noah's ark inch by inch to survive!<br /><br /><br /><br />681. Facing life's challenges is never easy. We are struggling in many ways. God may not give all the easy ways but He gives all the love we need to carry on. Good morning!<br /><br />682. Behind my smiles are my kept tears. Behind my jokes are my hidden problems. Hindi man ako laging tunay na masaya, sana, andyan ka lang kapag hindi ko na kaya.<br /><br />683. Hmm, random question, try mo lang sagutin. Kapag nagpapicture ba ang mascot, ngumingiti din ang tao sa loob? I wonder.. =)<br /><br />684. Ano ang tawag sa hipon na madalas madisgrasya? Eh di, accident prawn! Ano ang tawag sa mabilis sa pagkain? Fast food! Sa mas mabilis? Fasta! E ang pinakamabilis? Sofas!<br /><br />685. A couple at the wishing well, husband leans over, made a wish and throws coin. Wife made a wish, but leans too much, falls in and drowns. Husband: Hala, ang bilis naman! =)<br /><br />686. Minsan, mahuhuli mo akong nakatitig sa iyo! Huwag mo na lang akong pansinin! Sabi kasi ng mama ko, cute daw ako kaya iniisip ko kung anong itsura ng hindi cute!<br /><br />687. Kapag sinaktan at ipinagpalit ka ng mahal mo at inimbitahan ka pa sa kasal nila, pumunta ka, hawakan mo ang kamay nya at ibulong mo, "Sukob ang kasal mo!"<br /><br />688. There's no special reason kung bakit ako nagtetext. Gusto lang kitang abalahin, kasi, alam ko na busy ka. And hope to make you smile and say, "Hehehe, si kukote talaga, papansin!"<br /><br />689. Ngiti ka para mawala problema... ngiti ka kaibigan. Ngiti ka kahit kanino, ngiti lang nang ngiti. Isang paalala mula sa Philippine Mental Hospital.<br /><br />690. Once in your life, you'll find a friend who's true to you (ako yun!) Kaya never take me for granted (dapat lang!) Never let me go (it's up to you!) Because if you lose me, you can never find me again! (ikaw din!)<br /><br />691. Boy1: Bakit bad trip ka? Boy2: Tampo sa akin ang utol ko! B1: Bakit naman? B2: Nakalimutan kong birthday nya! B1: Yun lang? Anong masama dun? B2: Masama dun, twins kami! Twiiiinnns!<br /><br />692. Ang tunay na cute, mahiyain, tahimik at higit sa lahat, makakalimutin. at.. at.. at.. ano pa nga yun? Shocks! Nakalimutan ko na naman. Nakakahiya tuloy.<br /><br />693. Sa tuwing tampuhan, madalas sabihin, "Sorry, hindi ko sinasadya." "Sensya na, hindi na mauulit." "Galit ka pa ba?" Hindi ba mas masarap pakinggan kung sasabihing "Eto one thousand, bati na tayo ha?"<br /><br />694. Two boys talking and reached the topic about love. Boy1: Pre, kumusta ang lovelife mo? Boy2: Wala, ganun pa rin. Boy1: Bakit pare? Kayo pa rin? Boy2: Hindi pre, ikaw pa rin!<br /><br />695. Paano ba ang tamang pagbati sa umaga? Good morning! Luma na. Gud am! Maikli. Magandang umaga! Tagalog, baduy! Alam mo kung anong masarap pakinggan? Eh di, "Hi, cute! Gising na!" =) Smile ha!<br /><br />696. Sa isang ospital. Lola (may cancer): Doc, anong gagawin nyo sa akin? Doc: Che-chemo lola. Lola: T*ti mo rin! Bastos ka! Walang modo!<br /><br />697. Nung bata ako, tuwing may kasal, lagi akong tinutukso nina lolo at lola, "Uy, sya na ang susunod." Tumigil lang sila nung may libing at tinukso ko sila ng "Uy, sila na susunod!"<br /><br />698. Have you experienced doing things that no matter what you do, you just can't? I have. I tried to drink up all the water from the drinking fountain, ang hirap pala! =)<br /><br />699. It's nice to wake up, and sleep again, di ba?! Good morning!! =)<br /><br />700. Minsan, nakakapagod maghabol at makipaglaro ng taguan sa taong mahal mo. Pero alam mo, mas nakakapagod at mas mahirap magtaguan lalo pa kung ikaw ang taya sa Mall of Asia! =)Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-91499158688782401662008-11-15T23:11:00.001+08:002008-11-15T23:11:45.028+08:00text messages 621-660621. In a world where everybody meets a jerk, you know you don't need to be serious. Hangout, pretend and play with them. Have fun and stop; no attachment, no commitment, no pain. Convenient, isn't it? But at the end of the show, you know you're still yearning for something genuine. You realized that what you are really looking for is someone who can look at you straight in the eyes and tell you he/she loves you, someone worth every risk of pain, someone who will stay, someone who will simply make a difference...<br /><br />622. "E" is the most unfortunate character in the alphabet. It is always out of "cash", forever in "debt", never out of "danger" and in "hell" all the time. But notice that "e" is never in "war" and always in "peace." It's the beginning of "existence" and the end of "trouble." Without "e", we would have no "love", "life" or "heaven." Go E!<br /><br />623. I love sleep... My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake. - Ernest Hemingway.<br /><br />624. I think that sometimes we love a person so much that we have to be numb to it; because if we actually felt how much we really love, then it would kill us.<br /><br />625. Some won't appreciate what you say or do, but as long as you speak honestly from the heart, you'll be fine. This is not a perfect world. This is not a perfect life. But life loves the person who dares to live it by being real. Bon Jour!<br /><br />626. Cook your own breakfast by mixing happiness, faith and wisdom; add a little understanding, a pint of hope and a spoonful of love; top with a lot of smiles! Good morning!<br /><br />627. We may never talk, we may never laugh, we may never do things together, but our friendship doesn't limit to that. What's important is when there's no one to turn to, I'd be there to stand by you.<br /><br />628. Sometimes in life, we tend to run so fast that we don't notice God running with us. We only notice Him when we fall, yet He stops, carries us and says, "Finish the race my child." Good day!<br /><br />629. I'm giving you a part of my friendship not because you deserve it. But I guess, it already belongs to you. It might not be enough, it might be too small, but this little part could probably be my all. Good morning!<br /><br />630. Always remember that God only makes happy endings. If it's not happy, then, it's not yet the end. Live by love and hope, there is always something to look forward to. God bless.<br /><br />631. Put God on top of everything today and let Him take charge of all your plans. Then you'll see how beautiful His ways are and His unending love. Good day!<br /><br />632. What is wrong with your phone? I tried calling you, but the operator said, "Welcome to the jungle! The monkey you are trying to call in on the tree. Please, try again later."<br /><br />633. Real person are not those who are always around you when everything is almost perfect. They are the ones who dig deep into the ground when you're down just to put you up and say, "Everything's gonna be alright."<br /><br />634. Army: I'm going to buy my wife a bra but I don't know the size. Saleslady: Don't worry sir, just touch my breast and try to estimate. Army: Oh, I forgot! She needs panty too!<br /><br />635. Lion to mouse: "I'm getting married soon. What's the best advice you can give me?" Mouse: "Remember this, I was once a lion before I got married."<br /><br />636. A little boy was so jealous about his newborn brother so he put poison on the nipple of his mom while asleep. The next day, their driver died!<br /><br />637. When things go wrong, when everything you've tried didn't work out, when all else fails, and you feel things hanging... Control+Alt+Del... restart mo na yan!<br /><br />638. Short story... 2 friends, See and Saw. One day, See saw sea and Saw didn't see sea. See saw sea and jumped in sea. Saw didn't see sea but jumped in sea. See saw Saw in sea and Saw saw See in sea. See saw both Saw and sea and both Saw and See were happy to see sea. Kung henyo ka, ikwento mo naman sa akin ng mas malinaw.<br /><br />639. Pari: Sister, ikaw ba ang nasa CR? Kunin ko lang ang toothbrush ko! Sister: Sandali, nakapanty lang ako! Pari: Ok, antay ako. Sister: Pasok na, wala na akon panty! Hihihi!<br /><br />640. Three boys at the mall: Boy1: Shit, ang cute naman nung girl! Boy2: Sexy pa! Grabe! Boy3: Sino? Yung nakamini-skirt? Kilala ko sya, tawagin ko ha?! Kuyaaaah! =)<br /><br /><br /><br />641. Jr: I know the truth, Mom! Mom: Ha?! Ito P500, huwag ka lang maingay sa daddy mo ha? Jr: Dad, I know the truth! Dad: Ha?! Ito P1000, huwag ka lang maingay sa mommy mo ha! Jr: (Ok pala ito! Subukan ko nga din sa katulong namin.) Inday! Alam ko na ang katotohanan! Inday: Sa wakas! Yakapin mo ako, anak ko!<br /><br />642. Marami ang nagsasabi na makulit daw ako. Totoo ba? Na makulit ako? Ha? Totoo ba? Ano? Totoo ba? Sagoooot! Totoo ba? Ha? Ha? Totoo? Ano? Totoo? Huuyy! Ano? Makulit ba ako? Makulit ba? Hindi naman di ba? Sagot! Bakit hindi ka sumagot? Kulit ko ba talaga? Hindi naman, di ba? Baka ikaw ang makulit! Kaw pala ang makulit, pindot ka pa ng pindot eh. Kita mo, ikaw ang makulit! O, pumipindot pa rin! O, kulit! Oh, ano? Pindot ka pa rin? Bahala ka! Wala na, pindot pa rin ng pindot! Sino ngayon ang makulit? Ikaw!<br /><br />643. I ask God to bless you, guide you, keep you safe, give you peace, give you love and joy and cash everyday. Ok yon, di ba?<br /><br />644. Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain! Juan: Maniwala ako?! Pedro: Totoo! Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo? Pedro: Asin!<br /><br />645. Nurse: Miss, gising na! Patient: Ah, bakit? Nurse: Oras na ng pag-inom ng gamot. Patient: Anong gamot? Nurse: Sleeping pills.<br /><br />646. Boy Guwapo + Girl Ganda = Perfect Couple. Boy Guwapo + Girl Panget = True Love. Boy Panget + Girl Ganda = Galing Diskarte. Boy Panget + Girl Panget = SUKOB!<br /><br />647. Kano: (trying to speak tagalog) Megkanow isang kelow mang-gow? Pinoy: One way! Kano: Megkanow? Pinoy: I said one way! Kano: Ano eybig sabeyhin one way? Pinoy: Isang daan!<br /><br />648. Parrot sa dumadaang babae: Panget! Panget! Babae: Kapag sinabi mo pa ulit yan sa akin, papatayin na kita! Next day. Parrot: Psst! Babae: Bakit?! Parrot: Alam mo na! =)<br /><br />649. It's my obligation to pray for you, to make you happy and comfort you. When you're down, I will lift your spirits. Wala naman akong choice eh, ganyan ang papel ng mga angels.<br /><br />650. Ama: Bakit ka umiiyak? Anak: Pumasa po kasi ako sa test. Huhuhu! Ama: Aba, magaling! Anong subject yun, anak? Anak: Pregnancy test po itay!<br /><br />651. Madaming gago sa mundo at handa silang gaguhin ka, pero hindi nila alam, may kaibigan ka na mas gago sa kanila. Subukan lang nilang gaguhin ka, gagaguhin ko ang kapwa ko gago kapag nasaktan ka!<br /><br />652. Lasing: Hoy! Sinong matapang?! Labas! Lalake: Ako! Bakit? Lalaban ka?! Lasing: Pare, ihatid mo naman ako sa bahay, natatakot ako kay misis eh. =)<br /><br />653. Minsan, nakukuha kong tumawa kahit malungkot. Nakukuha kong magbago kahit sobrang hirap. Nakukuha kong ngumiti sa mga problema. Lahat yata, makakaya ko, huwag lang yung kalimutan ako ng nagbabasa nito.<br /><br />654. Kapag balisa ka, remember God's promise. Kapag inis ka, control yourself. Kapag may problema, pray. At kapag wala kang pera, isipin mo ako. Kasi, hindi ka nag-iisa. Wala din akong pera! Hehehe.<br /><br />655. One great problem in life is loneliness. But somehow, texting gives relief. It's like making a tap at the back saying, "Ayos ka lang ba dyan? Eto lang ako ha, ingat!"<br /><br />656. Binata: Ale, liligawan ko po ang anak nyo. Ale: Huwag muna. Nag-aaral pa sya. Binata: Sige po, kapag uwian na lang nila.<br /><br />657. Even though you're far away, always remember that I'm here to stay. So, if ever you're lonely and blue, pacheck-up ka oy! Walang taong blue! Ano ka, si Doraemon?! Hehehe.<br /><br />658. Thought of the Day: Kapag binuhat ba kita at binuhat mo ako ng sabay, lulutang ba tayo pareho?<br /><br />659. What is the best and worst news a man might hear at the same time? It's when your girlfriend says, "Ikaw talaga ang may pinakamalaking etits sa lahat ng kabarkada mo!" =)<br /><br />660. Sa simbahan, isang bata: Lord, bigyan nyo po ako ng bike! Kinabukasan, wala syang natanggap kaya humiling ulit sya: Lord, bigyan nyo ako ng bike!! Pero wala pa ring natanggap. The next day, napansin ng pari na nawala ang rebulto ni Mama Mary! May nakita syang sulat sa altar: "Lord, kung gusto mo pang makita ang mama mo, bigyan mo ako ng bike!"Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7461523640997587819.post-19944748137549180752008-11-15T23:09:00.000+08:002008-11-15T23:11:04.228+08:00text messages 581-620581. I ain't someone whom you can rely on all the time. I can't always turn your tears into smiles, but even if I can't be a great person at all, still, I'm trying to be the simplest person you can count on.<br /><br />582. I believe my life is like a jeepney and I am the driver. Some people are coming in and out of my life. Some of them I remember, some of them I don't. But you? You will always be my special passenger.<br /><br />583. Good morning! May Christ shine in everything you do. With a prayer that you'll be safe not only today but always. God bless.<br /><br />584. I might have forgotten to tell your worth. I might have missed to say you're appreciated. But your existence goes beyond my happiness and that no words can ever express how fulfilled I am of you being my friend.<br /><br />585. Life is a continuous challenge, a constant struggle from womb to tomb. We are not made rich by what is in our pockets, but by what is in our hearts.<br /><br />586. Friendship is like a job. At first, we are applicants, then we become contractuals and if our performance is good, we become regular. Except for one thing, a friend can work even without salary.<br /><br />587. He said, "I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go to find him and hope someday, you'll see that the one true love you are looking for is the one who set you free."<br /><br />588. Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. - Victor Hugo, Les Miserables.<br /><br />589. The person meant for you is the person who will love you even when there's no more reason to love you. For in your nothingness, the one meant for you will find what's lovable in you.<br /><br />590. When things turn out bad and your strength is no longer enough to carry them, you must never give up, because when your strength ends, my worth as your friend begins.<br /><br />591. Sometimes, we are in love in the idea of falling in love. Loving the illusion of having or missing someone. It's alright to feel happy thru other people, but don't get dependent on achieving happiness by being with someone. Love yourself first before sharing your life with somebody, because if you don't, you will always look for people that you think can make you complete. And in the end, it will make you lose yourself more, bit by bit, piece by piece.<br /><br />592. Do you know why God created gaps between fingers? So that someday, the one who is made by God for you will come and fill those gaps by holding your hands forever.<br /><br />593. Forget the things that made you sad and remember those that made you glad. Forget the troubles that passed away and remember the blessings that come each day. Good morning!<br /><br />594. When you miss someone, your heart starts to shout that person's name. For some reason, my heart just won't stop shouting your name. I guess, you are smart enough to figure out what I mean. =)<br /><br />595. Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt so empty for no reason? Have you ever felt so down but you just can't tell why? Have you ever felt like the world suddenly spins around you, and you are caught in the middle going nowhere? Weird, isn't it? But that's the beauty of being human... it is knowing that there is a purpose for each existence, and whatever that may be, it is also the reason why we still wake up breathing each morning, to discover that missing piece of puzzle that would make our lives complete. Have a nice sleep!<br /><br />596. Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work around it. Good morning!<br /><br />597. Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet bowl. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.<br /><br />598. Hubby and wife travelling by car, not talking after quarrel. Passing farm of goats, mules and pigs, hubby asked sarcastically, "Relative of yours?" Wife replied, "Yup, in-laws!"<br /><br />599. Can you beat this logic? A man and his wife were getting divorce at a local court. The mother wants the custody of their children, but the father also wants the same. The mother said to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain the custody of them. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from the chair and said, "Judge, if I put a dollar into a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belongs to me or to the machine?"<br /><br />600. A man reads a book in bed next to his wife and his finger went to tickle his wife's pussy. Wife asks, "You want sex?" "No, just to wet my fingers to turn the page!"<br /><br /><br /><br />601. May mga lalakeng ok sa malayuan, talo naman sa malapitan. Tawag sa kanila, mga lalakeng uy! ay! Uy! Ang cute nya! Ay, bading pala! Sapul ba? Toink!<br /><br />602. Apo: Lola, 99 na kayo ni lolo, ano ang ikinamatay nya kanina? Lola: Apo, nagmake-love kami. Sinasabayan nya ang church bell, dahan-dahan lang. Kaso, may dumaang sorbetero. =)<br /><br />603. Mag-asawa, nag-aaway. Babae: Punyeta ka! Lalake: Punyeta ka rin! Babae: Tarantado! Lalake: Tarantado ka rin! Babae: Supot! Lalake: Yun nga lang... =)<br /><br />604. Man1: May tatlong joke ako. Man2: Ano yun? Man1: Joke, joke joke!<br /><br />605. Sexy girl nagkukumpisal. Priest: O iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal? Sexy: Father, kapag nakakarinig po ako ng lalakeng nagmumura, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong yayain syang magsex. Priest: Put*ng ina, hindi nga?! =)<br /><br />606. Kagabi, nanaginip ako, kumakain daw ako ng cotton candy. Maraming cotton candy. Pagkagising ko, wala na ang unan ko!<br /><br />607. Bawat kabataan, may karapatan. Karapatang gumala, umuwi anytime, makipagdate sa dyowa. Magalit man ang parents mo, sabihin mo, "Sa bahay na ito, ako ang batas!" Sabay takbo!<br /><br />608. Minsan, puro ako biro, laging parang nakadrugs, lagi na lang nakatawa. Pero sana, maniwala ka sa akin, nagseseryoso din ako. Ako, ako ang magliligtas sa mundo, maniwala ka pare. =)<br /><br />609. Babala: Huwag laruin ang puso ng babae dahil nag-iisa lang ito. Ok lang laruin ang suso, dalawa naman ito.<br /><br />610. Son: Itay, pinagalitan ako ng titser ko! Dad: Bakit? Son: Hinalikan ko po ang seatmate ko. Dad: Tong anak ko, manang mana. Hehehe. Eh, masarap ba? Son: Opo, pogi po sya eh.<br /><br />611. Juan: Inay, si Pedro, hindi ako pinagkape sa burol ng tatay nya. Nanay: Hayaan mo anak, kapag namatay ang tatay mo, hindi rin natin sya pagkakapehin.<br /><br />612. Shhh, ayon sa survey, sa ganitong oras daw, ang mga cute ay nagtetext na at ang mga pangit ay nagbabasa pa! Hehehe! Ipasa mo, dali! Para ikaw naman ang cute!<br /><br />613. Read each word reversely. A suomaf rotcod dlot em taht ylno latnem stneitap evah eht tnelat ot daer SMS neve nehw sti nettirw ylesrever. Oh, nabasa mo?<br /><br />614. Prof: Meron bang tanga dito sa klase? Kung meron, tumayo! (May tumayong estudyante.) Prof: Tanga ka ba? Estudyante: Naawa lang ako sa iyo sir. Ikaw lang ang nakatayo eh, samahan na kita.<br /><br />615. Ngayon ay araw ng mga magaganda at gwapo, mga sexy at matalino. Send this sa taong iniisip mong bumabagay sa message na ito. Huwag mo nang isend sa akin dahil libo-libo na ang natanggap ko!<br /><br />616. Ei! Baka may friend ka na gustong magwork. P18,500 ang starting. Sa palengke nga lang... tagalista ng noisy!<br /><br />617. Mrs: Naniniwala ka ba na ang babae habang tumatanda ay gumaganda? Mr: Oo naman. Mrs: Sa tingin mo, gumaganda ba ako? Mr: Sa tingin ko, hindi ka tumatanda.<br /><br />618. Amo: Inday, titira dito ang biyenan ko ng 3 buwan. Ito ang listahan ng mga favorite nyang pagkain. Maid: Opo, sir. Amo: Kapag may niluto ka dyan, lagot ka sa akin!<br /><br />619. Kulas: Siopao nga, yung babae. Waitress: Babae? Kulas: Oo, yung may papel na sapin, parang napkin. Waitress: Ah! Lalake ang nandito. Kulas: Lalake? Waitress: May itlog po!<br /><br />620. Babae: Doc, kumusta na ang asawa ko? Doc: Sorry ma'am. Mula ngayon, ikaw na ang magpapakain at magpapaligo sa kanya, kasi, putol na ang kanyang mga kamay at paa. Babae: Hah?! Hindi nga?! Doc: Hehehe! Ninerbyos ka ano? Joke lang! Patay na sya!Big Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153930298139323534noreply@blogger.com