Charita Goshay: 2008 Thunks to the Head Awards announced

The winners of the 2008 Thunk to the Head Awards give new meaning to the phrase “embarrassment of riches.”

Charita Goshay

The winners of the 2008 Thunk to the Head Awards give new meaning to the phrase “embarrassment of riches.”

- Believe it or not, there are people who are too dumb to be greedy. Cleveland Councilman Robert J. White III lost his seat of 12 years and may go to prison -- for a $500 bribe. But no one comes close to Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, who allegedly stopped just short of “selling” President-elect Barack Obama’s vacant U.S. Senate seat on Craigslist.

- Talk-show bloviator Phil “Dr. Phil” McGraw for his self-serving shtick in trying to “treat” Britney Spears shortly after her mental breakdown. Spears, who threw McGraw out of her hospital room, may have problems, but she isn’t crazy.

- Bill Gates. That’s right, the Microsoft mogul, for stating he didn’t think there was anything extraordinary about human intelligence. Well, let’s see you make a brain, smart guy.

- In a new twist on “Take Your Kid to Work Day,” Sarah Titi Walker of Greenville, S.C., was arrested for robbing a grocery store in March. Walker and her boyfriend brought along their 4-month-old as part of a hostage ruse.

- He should have been charged with false advertising, too. Daniel Allen Everette, of Pontiac, Mich., was wearing a “World’s Greatest Dad” T-shirt when he tried to pick up a 14-year-old girl for sex in August. He pleaded guilty to sexual abuse.

- John Edwards, who argued that he cheated on his cancer-stricken wife only when she was in remission. Well. That’s different.

- A knock on the noggin’ of perennial presidential candidate Alan Keyes, who filed a lawsuit contesting President-elect Barack Obama’s citizenship. At least Obama was born on this planet.

- State police in Santa Fe, N.M., didn’t have to go far to capture drunken driver Roy Aguilar. When officers responded to motorists’ calls after Aguilar’s truck was spotted weaving on the road, a pursuit began. It ended when Aguilar jumped out of his still-moving vehicle -- which ran him over.

- The Saudi judge who refused to annul a marriage between an 8-YEAR-OLD girl and a 47-year-old man. The child was given to the pedophile, er, “groom,” by her father to repay a debt. The judge ordered that the girl not be touched until she reaches puberty. No matter which culture you’re from, this constitutes insanity.

- Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain, for arguing he deserved a $10 million bonus for holding his company’s losses to $11.67 billion. Granted, the company already was upside-down when Thain got there, but why does everyone these days think they deserve a cookie? It used to be called doing your job.

- I’d toss a thunk to whiny Cleveland Browns receiver Braylon Edwards, but well ... Hey 17, just shut up and catch.

- But the Thunk of the Year goes to Heath and Deborah Campbell, who named their son “Adolf Hitler Campbell.” Was “Judas Iscariot Campbell” already taken?