5 Ways To Love The Body You Have

Have you ever wished you had a mirror like Snow White's wicked stepmother's—one that would flatter you every morning by telling you that you're "the fairest in the land?" Instead, yours criticizes the size of your thighs, nonexistent waist, or flat chest. Dissatisfaction with our bodies is so pervasive—even among normal-weight women—that scientists have coined a name for it: "normative discontent."

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"Many of us suffer from distorted body images; we just don't see ourselves realistically," says Stacey Tantleff-Dunn, PhD, who studies body image and eating behaviors at the University of Central Florida. "As your own worst critic, you are more likely to focus on self-perceived flaws than anyone else is."

Work on changing your negative mindset with these 5 tips from body image experts.

1. Stop dissing yourself."If you're constantly telling yourself that you look fat or you're unattractive in some way, you will feel bad about yourself," says Tantleff-Dunn, co-author of Exacting Beauty. Next time you look at your reflection, be conscious of your self-criticism. "Then ask yourself, 'Would I say these things to a friend?' " she says. Of course you wouldn't, so why be so harsh to you?

2. Don't fixate on skinny celebs.A study from the University of Toronto found that when women looked at magazine ads featuring models, their self-esteem dropped like a lead sinker. Remind yourself that fashion models and beauty pageant contestants are unnaturally thin. In fact, when researchers calculated the body mass index of all Miss Americas from 1921 to 2002, as many as 26% met the World Health Organization's classification of "undernourished." Not the look you should be going for.

A look to go for instead? The amazing women in this video who show what real women look like when they workout (hint: gorgeous!).

3. Focus on how your body feels.Take a yoga class; ask your partner or a neighbor to walk with you every night; or try a new fitness DVD. "As you begin to enjoy your body through yoga, walking, running, or whatever gives you enjoyment," says Tantleff-Dunn, "you'll find it harder to stay at war with your physical being."

Think you don't have time? Draw a pie chart of how you spend time each day, then take out a slice of time (from TV watching, for example) to take a 30-minute walk, says Ann Kearney-Cooke, PhD, director of the Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute. You won't be able to protest, "I don't have the time."

4. List your best assets.Alone or with the help of the people who know you best, jot down 5 to 10 of your good qualities—great sense of humor, smart, a good friend—and repeat them to yourself whenever you think that you're "ugly" or "too fat." "There is more to you than how you look," says Tantleff-Dunn. "Don't overemphasize the importance of your appearance and underestimate the value of all of your assets."

5. Don't wait to do what you love.Have you ever put off something you really wanted to do because you feared how you'd look to other people? Life is too short to postpone a single minute of it—so don't. Write down a list of goals you've always wanted to achieve and create action plans to make them happen.