Summary: (Taken from the original story post in Lavvyan's Live Journal.)

If you ever wanted to know how my mind works:

There's new spam in my inbox, with the intriguing subject line of "Male Enhancement".

Which leads to me wondering how the human male, in general, would be enhanced.

Which leads to imagined conversations such as, "Now, my new boyfriend is an SX-7. He does the laundry and the dishes, and he never comes first." - "Oh, I'm so envious! I only have a GL. He can't even cook. *deep sigh*"

Which leads to brief flashbacks to the two volumes of Yuu Watase's Zettai Kareshi! I actually read, and to just about every John-is-a-hooker fic out there.

Summary: Rodney is not fond of Secret Santa practice, though not necessarily for the reasons some might suspect. Could new experiences change his mind? Originally, a one shot general story written in 2006, sequel ideas would not leave me alone. It will be slash eventually.

Summary: Response to Lena's Sentinel/SGA challenge: '[...] Rodney was a Sentinel who didn't find his guide [...] somehow John misses being tested. Of course much later they would meet [...] Rodney going all these years without a guide doesn't realize what he's smelling and of course John is just clueless.

Summary: So, say Rodney was never exiled to Siberia, and instead was pawned off on another SG team, one with somewhat less than a savory reputation. And just say that one of his team-mates happened to be an equally almost-disgraced Air Force Major...

Summary: "What you need to understand is that the Goa'uld are small fry. They're not all that different from us, they just have some fancy technology. There are things out there that have consumed entire planets for lunch. That's why this mission is so important, Major. The Ancients managed to survive over sixty-five million years in a very hostile universe. If we can learn to reproduce their sciences and technology, we'll have a chance not just against the Goa'uld and the Replicators, but against things like NIGHTMARE GREEN if the great old ones return from beyond space-time to eat our brains."

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