And breathe.

i worked myself up today to the point where I felt like I was going to explode all through fear and anxiety over this damn genetic test.

I’ve always always got angry or upset when I’m worried it’s just what I do.

So the counsellor couldn’t be more lovely. Younger than me I’d say, and very reassuring. Anyway she’s given me a ten percent chance of having a faulty gene. That’s good right? She said finding a bad gene is like reading a big book and looking for spelling mistakes. It’s very time consuming. Even if I don’t have these genes there’s a chance I have other faulty genes that they haven’t identified yet so I agreed to take part in a trial to identify these.

We spoke a lot about what it meant if I had the faulty gene. She said they recommend my ovaries removed at 40 which would completely put me in the menopause at a fast rate. I cannot take HRT as im banned from hormones. I also have 50 percent chance in cancer returning in my other breast but I can opt for mastectomy or regular screening.

It’s all what ifs at the moment and no point in speculating so I’m going to put it out my mind. What’s done is done. She did say I could have a faulty gene from my peternal line and I have no idea who any of them are so I will be pissed if that turns out to be the case haha😑