Monday, October 29, 2007

yes...its a terrible picture isn't it?but don't worry...in all probability its an view of the inside of the mind of a person,who for a long while,has been suppressing his/her irritation...slowly it turned to anger and finally that which u see above...rage.someone at war with their self...such a terrible conflict...

Rage...which hurts more...in intensity and in number of ppl,when finally expressed...Rage...which causes us to hurt the ones we love...Rage...which after its passing fills us with extreme regret...why didn't we control it,oh why?Rage...which causes us to smash breakable objects and is satiated by shattered pieces...Rage...which appears in our eyes as madness...Rage...which makes us hurt ourselves...Rage...which causes us to kill...Rage...which may never have developed,had we been free to express our irritation in the first place...

A wise person asked me what i would do to a person who caused me great harm?nothing significant,i said...id not tell anyone...why not?doesnt he deserve it?no.no one deserves to be ruined.no one?but he may have ruined ur life?still...why should i ruin his?id probably not recommend him as a person to anyone else though.thats it?why?why wudn't u ruin his life?his career?isn't it dumb?dumb...i dont agree.its just the way i think...not everyone agrees...u know what i think,the wise man said,i think ur suppressing ur anger...n ur scared of what u may do shud u decide to express it,u may murder...kill...I wudn't kill...but if i ruin someones life...they may kill themselves...i wudnt want that.yes...either way...metaphrically,u cud kill...in ur rage n anger...yes...i thot...when im outraged...i throw cups...breakable ones...n i dont feel better till they actually break...i dont regret it much either.everyone keeps telling me to control my temper...but...but u do control it...wat happens is...it reaches its storage saturation and then u burst in anger...n then ppl comment n say ur shud control ur temper...yes!!thats the pattern exactly...then y dont u try being more assertive regarding the things which annoy u...so that people dont get on ur nerves and u dont accumulate anger...that shud take care of the rage...but ppl feel bad...if i try getting assertive...thats their problem.not urs.

yes.their problem...not mine.they dont think abt my feelings while...rage...damages so...so much...so deeply...for so long...it can take years n years before u realise...thats it was rage all along...rage at ppl...for trying to repress u,for trying to emotionally blackmail u,for trying to make u live a life they dreamed of,for trying to protect their feelings even if it harmed u...for manipulating u,for making u feel bad abt urself,for not empathizing with u,UR feelings,but taking advantage of ur love for them to ensure they r not hurt by u.

but what abt u?shud u keep living with this?shud u allow urself to get more damaged?so much so that u become incapable of living a normal life?