Friday, 20 January 2012

Right. Blog updated, at the moment I haven't got a blog button anymore but that will come.

I just wanted a fresh update and layout, it's not professional and funky but oh well, at least its all ok.

Lots to tell you all!!!

I still have depression, i don't think that will be ending anytime soon but it's ok. that's something I'm dealing with. I have still out of control PCOS(no surprise there)

Good news! (well i think its good news), I have kinda started dating again. finally after 3 years!

We had 1 date on wednesday and one last night. he is lovely and everything but I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified of being close to someone. I'm so tough and independent, I don't want to let my guard down to someone unless I'm positive that I'm sure. It's just hard to explain to people, especially him.
I just don't know how to tell him why I'm like that. my history is a mess, no body wants to hear that.

Anyways, I'm afraid. I admit it. TMI coming up. I'm afraid of the intimacy side of things, giving someone that amount of control over me, and making myslef vulnerable. I struggle with that. after my mum and dad died. i just became so tough that giving over that control is hard. just gotta bring down some walls.

HARD WORK. But i wanna try. and hey, at least I'm trying :)

I am definitely gonna keep up with blogging now, doing it tonight has been quote therapeutic lol