Pussy Patrol

It was a dark and gloomy afternoon. Clouds covered the Toronto horizon covering the beautiful city in a coat of never ending water. Deep in the core of the metropolis trouble emerges as a siren begins roaring awakening the quite area, alerting it to danger. Robbers have seized control of a very prestigious bank, and have taken refuge inside as they hold the innocent bystanders at bay with guns propped to their heads.
Police vehicles circle the bank trying to close every escape route they could possibly can. Short on man power while more and more police vehicles emerge they take up position in and around the area setting up a command centre they discuss their predicament.
They’ve got a thousand escape routes there’s no chance we can plug em all, A captain screeches to his subordinates. We can’t let these dirt bags get away with this.
Cap n yells an officer look over there…..
What in god’s name is that?
It’s a bird
No It’s a plane…
Wait no…. it’s a giant penis pump.
My god the Pussy patrol have heard our pleas and come to aid us in this time of need.
If anyone can get those people out they sure can, cheers erupted from the crowd as trio of super women ejected themselves from their steed the mighty penis pump of power.
The first of the three wearing a scantily clad red bossier and a black knee high skirt wobbled over to the captain of the police squad
What seems to be the problem officer.
Hello Thunder Cunt it’s a pleasure to meet you again.
No time for introductions Capitano what’s the situation.
Yes you’re right. We got an unknown number of gunmen holding people hostage in the bank. We have no idea of how many hostages either.
No problem sir we’ll handle this. Pussy patrol let’s move out. With that Thunder Cunt, Tiger Titties each grab the hand of the infamous Anal Volcano. The Anal wonder squats takes in a large breath of air. With a Thunderous flatulent she propels the trio to the top of the bank situated across the street leaving all the officers on the grounds gasping for air, wonder, and the possibility of date with the heroin.
As they descend on the roof of the building Thunder Cunt quickly spreads her legs and launchers her super tampon at the roof giving the trio a soft landing that would otherwise break their bones.
Thunder Cunt recovers quickly, bends over and with a suction of epic proportions inhales the giant tampon back in to her gianormous vagenill area.
They quickly and easly dispatch the lock on the door to the stairs with Tiger Titties deadly nipple attack an ability that she’s developed, and perfected over her years. She strikes at her foes with her elongated nipples that can pierce the strongest metals and melt any man’s heart.
This trio of heroines where not only popular for their epic abilities but also because of their beauty, sense of humour and being all around great women. Men from all over wish to be with them, and for the lucky three that are with them can never know how truly lucky they are.
They scurry down the stairs, silently and deadly. Like vipers waiting for the perfect moment to strike at their unsuspecting prey.
Tiger Titties takes the lead and halts the trio as she comes to a door with a plane glass window revealing 2 hostage takers. She stops abruptly the other two indicting in their retarded sign language, that beyond the door there were 2 possible gunmen. She slowly opens the door trying her best not alert the gunmen. She silently releases her breasts from her tightly woven brazier. Taking aim she shoots her thick gelatinous cream from her breasts at the gunmen smothering them to the point where they looked like snow men with human heads covering almost their entire bodies leaving just the top of their heads and their noses visible.
Tiger tities breast goo also had a secondary ability. The goo would release a soothing agent into the bloodstream of a man, it would cause them savvier pleasure and cause them to tell the truth.
Anal volcano approached the first man and removed the goo from his lips. How many of you are their she asked.
Eight.
How many captives do you have?
I don’t know he replied. Tom would know he was with the guys in the front.
Anal volcano approached the second captive and released his mouth. He immediately began to holler for help. As quickly as she could, she quickly reapplies the goo to his mouth, she muttered Shit he must be gay.
In the distance they could hear footsteps charging towards their position.
Quickly we got no other choice Anal you’ve got to release the gas in to the vents. Roars Tiger Titties
What about us?
No problem we’ll use my pads to filter out the gas. Quickly now stick the ass of yours into the vents and let her rip.
Anal Volcano reaches for a nearby desk pushes it close to the wall and jumps up scattering the contents that were strewn on top all over the door. Placing her cheeks up to the vent she takes in a deep breath. Thunder Cunt quickly throws tampons to the nearby doors sealing them shut just as the gunmen reach it. Tiger Titties picks up the spare tampons on the floor and passes them out to each of her cohorts. With the gunmen beating down the door, precious seconds pass as they begin to panic.
Anytime now roared Thunder Cunt.
Give me a min jeez.
With those last few words a Thunders explosion of gas erupts from her powerful anus and quickly travels the network of vents in the building emitting her infamous knock out gas laying out anyone who took a breadth of the gas. So powerful was her excretion that windows themselves couldn’t take the sudden explosion. Rupturing some and letting the gas excrete on to the streets of Bay Street. Some of the officers that stood to close to the building took an unfortunate breath of the gas and where themselves knocked out.
Seconds passed as they pounding of the door soon vanished and the faint sound of people falling on top of the other replaced it.
A sigh Of relief over came the trio as they exited the building with the 2 gunmen that they first incapacitated. Now tied by the strings of Thunder Cunts super string tampons. They exited to cheers from the crowds. Pleased with their performance they lead the 2 suspects to the police and told them situation in the bank.
As they where about to enter their penis pump mobile one of the gun men pleaded please, please I don’t want to go to jail I have a wife and kids please I know something I can tell you.
Tiger Titties walks over to the panicked suspect releases him from Thunder Cunts stringy tampon .
Why should we listen to you. You tried to rob a bank.
I know I know what I did was wrong I was desperate my kids in the hospital my job laid me off and I can’t afford his pills and my wife left me please I was desperate.
Feeling bad for the chap and knowing that the serum from her goo was still influencing him.
Well If what you say helps us with crime I will personally talk to the judge and try to work something out for you.
He begins a tale of once dear friends that where separated long ago telling of her how the two accidentally ran into each other and how he bragged of a great gig that would land him plenty of cash. One day he receives a call from his friend and he tells him he’s on his death bed and would like to tell him something in secret at the hospital. He divulged to him that his friend landed a job with the infamous Limpus Dickus. And that the two had stumbled on to the relic the Dildo of wisdom. Now being just a legend they tried to insert triple A batteries into the device to try and extract any and all possible information they could from it. But tragedy had struck and the Dildo only used double a’s, It exploded in their hands. Limpus escaped unscathed while his friend had suffered mortal wounds. But before it exploded the dildo revealed to the pair the apparent location of the legendary (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off).
A look and horror washed over the trio’s faces as to this moment they only thought the epic dildo’s where made up legend by some lesbian nympho’s who had nothing better to write about. Suddenly a strange moaning began to emanate from the rear they turned to see Thunder Cunt pleasuring herself with a fire hydrant.
What? I got bored she exasperated.
Scratching her head Anal Volcano pondered why she had never thought of it.
The trio shook off their fantasies and jumped in to the penis pump, and headed off to their magical wizard sleeve enclave.
When they reached the entrance of their enclave Thunder Cunt reached in the glove compartment and retrieved the rabbit of power. Pressing the powerful “On” button the rabbit began vibrating and working its magic on the little man in the boat. The girls quickly put on their rain suites.
Unfortunately Thunder Cunt was again pre occupied with shoving a drive train from a monster truck in her ho ha. Before any of two could alert her to the sleeves opening, a giant wave of fluid flushed out of the cave as it shivered and moaned in glee. Thunder Cunt was drenched.
They entered their secret enclave, Tiger Titties quickly exited the vehicle and skittered off to her library to begin researching the possible location of the (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off). Thunder Cunt went to clean the foul goo of her self while Anal Volcano went to the computer to see if she could intercept any possible transmissions the Limpus Dickus may carelessly leave unprotected.
Time passed as the two dived into Thunder Cunts vaginal area each of taking their turns exfoliating Thunder Cunts luscious beaver with their tongues. Thunder moaning and groaning in such pleasure, She begins to titillate her Titties as the duo continue their tongue lashing …… oh shit wait that’s not part of the story…..( clears throat, sorry fuck can u blame me three hot brawds in a story. )
Anyways back to our story
Thunder Cunt exited the shower and quickly got dressed, heading over to Anal Volcano she asks her she’s heard anything.
Nothing but your usual Nazis fems ramble on about penis envy.
Keep your ears open for any clues. Thunder Cunt heads over to the library and asks Tiger Titties for a progress report.
Well other then getting sidetracked by the automated tounge licker machine. I did find references from the Dyke weekly magazine that rumours pooped up that the dildo of destruction was hidden from men by the legendary King Dyke who tossed her semi female form Into the pit of Flaccid dicks carrying the dildo . She feared that men would use it for evil instead of good.
What good can come out of something called the (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off) she pondered quietly. Interrupting her train of thought when a shriek of joy from the com room. The two quickly ran to Anal Volcano and found her shoving the fire hydrant in her anus.
Wow this is good.
Frustrated, pair began to head back to the library when Anal Volcano shouted wait I got some goods I think I know where He might be headed. I intercepted a com between Limpus and a group of fem Nazis who all want to use the device they plan to share it. They’re headed for the Isle of Scrotums, in the valley of Chodes. Apparently one of them found the valley Flaccid dicks nearby.
Onwards, to the flying Douche machine, yelled Tiger Titties with a Thunderous roar.
They mounted their flying device and raced to the Isle of Scrotums, hoping they would reach it before the villains could obtain the prize.
They landed just south of the twin Hills of Buttavia. We’ll have to carry on from here said Tiger Titties the road ahead can only be travelled by foot and is extremely dangerous. So let’s stock up and make sure we’re well prepared before we go. They completed their preparations and began their epic trek in their high healed scantily clad outfits.
They walked for what seemed hours until they reached the great Isle of Scrotums. The Isle was a dreary place indeed filled with black weeds that toward to 10 feet tall. That was their least of their concerns. In the Isle itself they had to be cautious and avoid the Human swallowing pools of gelatinous sweat. Those who didn’t tread carefully where often swallowed whole by almost invisible pools that hid in the bushes of the scrotum. To top it all off they had to avoid the gaseous stench of the swollen chafe. This brutal stench often left the person unable to move and lie in the paralyzing stench until they slowly starved to death or some critter would pick their bodies clean.
K ladies here’s the plan. Thunder Cunt, pop some of you super absorbent pads we can use those as gas masks, pop out one of your super elastic tampon string ready in case one of us fall in a pool. Tiger Titties use your super sharp nipples and cut us a path through this bush. I’ll try and use my Super anus to try and blow and gas clouds away from us that might cause harm.
With those words Tiger Titties wastes no time and releases her beautiful luscious breasts and with a quick tickle of the nipple starts carving a safe path through the bush. Time passed when they finally reached clearing in the bush.
Tiger Titties exhausted decided to sit on the open ground. I need a break she exclaims.
I think we all do at this point agreed Anal Volcano.
K girls lets take a breather. I got some of the perfect treats to rejuvenate us. Reaching deep into her vagina she pulls out a small blue pouch. In the blue pouch she reveals 3 hand sized dick shaped Jello pops.
The other two girls clap excitedly as they anxiously wait for a handout of the savoury delight. They sat for what seemed like hours sucking on their dick shaped Jello pops. When they finally finished their treats filled tummies and rejuvenated spirits they get up and begin their trek to the valley of flaccid dicks.
They kept walking threw the clearing, they searched for signs that they might be on the wright direction but none presented themselves. A sudden woosh sound and then silence. Wheres Anus? Questioned Tiger.
I don’t know. ANUS, hollered Thunder Cunt. ANUS. Tiger joined in the chant as they desperately searched for their friend. Panic began to set in as they realized she must have sank in a pool of goo. They scrambled carefully retracing her steps trying to find the exact pool she might have entered into. Just as quickly as she disappeared though she appeared just as suddenly this time with the roar of a giant fluctuant and the sound of dispersing goo as she launched herself from the pool using her anus to propel her threw the goo. Thunder quickly calculating her distant releases a super pad just underneath Anus in the nick of time. Anus falls on the pad and quickly recovers doing a double twist showing off her talents as a gymnast and does a perfect landing.
Show off exclaims Tiger.
Well I couldn’t do it without Thunder.
You had us scared shitless you dumb ass. Protested Thunder tears welling up her in the back of her eyes. Why did you wait for so long to escape.
Aw you’re so cute. Moved by the almost teary eyed Thunder, Anus quickly moved up and gave a huge hug to the now grateful Thunder. Bah you guys could never survive as a tag team I mean come on you can’t just have tits and a Cunt. You need ass in the mix or it just won’t work.
Tiger moved in and made it a group as the trio began to kiss each other first on the cheeks but soon on the lips, slipping each other some tongue and their hands began to wonder around each others succulent buttocks slowly moving their hands in between each others thighs…….(oops shit sorry got carried away again. Back to story no more sidetracking I promise (or at least I’ll try)).
The trio set Thunder in the lead as she tracked each step with small tampon on the heal of her shoe testing each step with the utmost care.
Their trek continued until they reached two giant ball shaped hills. Time passed so quickly it was night now and they thought it might be best to rest up here and try their trek over the mammoth ball hills.
The night was calm and relaxing they enjoyed each other’s company gossiped here and there, talked about their normal lives and how they missed their friends and family. Slowly they fell into a deep sleep.
That night slept comfortably as if not a care in the world. Dancing clowns, beautiful confetti falling from the sky, comedic midgets, and acrobats entertained them in their dreams while they mounted giant fire hydrants.
A sudden vibration and a loud exhaust propelled Anal Volcano three feet in the air. She fell to earth awkwardly landing like a rag doll that was dropped by a careless child off a veranda. She awoke when her limp body soar and a bit too relaxed. She checked her surroundings, all was calm it was still night. But she felt as if she slept for days. She checked her watch and to her amassment, she had slept for days. She looked over to her comrades still vast asleep. She realized they must be near the pools of chafing and they had fallen victim to a nearby cloud.
She jumped to her feat and tried everything she possibly could imagine to awaken the pair vast asleep. To her dismay, she couldn’t budge them from their slumber. She thought of the Fairy tale sleeping beauty, she had nothing too loose. Closing her eyes she thought of the only other woman she would go dyke for. Angelina Jolie. She puckered up and gave a peck on the lips of Tiger Titties (yes this is a part of the story, not my fetish in seeing two girls kiss). Nothing happened. So she tried a second time this time adding a little tongue to the mix. Again nothing happened. Aggravated and annoyed she slapped Tiger at her lack of response to her passionate kiss.
She sat in desperation as she tried to figure out how she was able to awaken from her slumber. Her ass woke her up. Maybe she thought if she farted hard enough the other two would awaken. She sat quietly thinking of which flatulent would be powerful enough and yet weak enough to awaken the two but not harm them. Well not a lot (she was still pissed at Tiger from not waking up from her kiss).
She the perfect fart for this occasion, she called it her patented farticous delight. One so potent, that it could cause a grown man to gag to death, if he inhaled too much of the gas. She gently pulled the two together so they were lying side by side. Lifting her skirt exposing her ferocious anus to the two she concentrated trying to get the right amount of gas built up in her.
Several minutes passed when she decided she had just the right amount built up. A sonic boom of gas exited her rear almost decapitating the other two. Green smoke hovered around their heads as the two began to gag and awaken at the good awful stench they where inhaling.
Jesus Christ, what the hell smells so freaking bad, whispered Thunder Cunt as she desperately searched for the clean air to breathe in. Tiger Titties had a similar reaction but kept silent letting Thunder express herself enough for the two.
What was that for questioned Thunder.
I had to, that was the only way I could wake the two of you up.
What do you mean wake us up we were out for only a couple of hours.
Check the date on your watches. In astonishment the girls look at Anal and quickly rushed over to hug her in thanks. Anal was quick to return the hug to Thunder but was just as quick to shrug off Tiger’s attempts quickly and cold hardly. Thunder spat some tampons that they could use as breathing apparatuses, Anal picked one off the ground and begin to lead the way.
Don’t pretend like you don’t know what you did. With a shrug the trio began their quest to find the Dildo Of Destruction (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off).
They had no further issues with the gas but they had a difficult time trekking through the muddy Chafe. Just as the sun began to rise the trio that spent most of the night walking had the sun beat down on their eyes forcing them to cover their eyes just enough to continue their trek. Just as all seemed as if they were lost and had no sign no land mark nothing to tell them what and where they where they strolled over one more hill to discover the thing they were looking for, The valley of the flaccid Penis.
They each stood tall and at the edge of the hill and gazed for seemed an eternity at the Giant flaccid penis which didn`t stand tall but slumped over. Bush circled all around it almost entirely covering the base and of the penis just enough of the head peaked threw the bush pointing itself right at the trio beckoning them to come hither. Thunder Cunt mesmerised by the giant flaccid penis sat there and drooled uncontrollably. It took a slap from both Tiger and Anal to bring her back to ground zero.
K, K, I`m good I`m good, it`s just that`s it`s so…… big.
They all agreed on that fact but put their personal feelings aside and began their trot into the Valley of the Flaccid Penis. At one point they all wondered how huge must it be if it wasn`t flaccid any longer, and they all acknowledged it must have been pretty damn huge. As they approached the threshold of the bush, Anal remarked to Thunder that Tiger better get her nipples ready in case they don`t find a path.
What`s your problem, enraged with the cold shoulder Tiger finally worked up the nerve to ask Anal why was she giving her the cold shoulder.
You should know. She pouted and turned her shoulder at Tiger.
No I don`t know what the fuck is up your ass.
Nothing.
C`mon tell me, a sudden sense of embarrassment rushed over as she recalled how many times had she done this with her boyfriend. She was tempted to say fine and turn away and think nothing further of the subject. Please tell me. But the woman in her just had to know.
You of all people should know.
You`re being so cryptic, was this role play, did Tiger really do this with her boyfriend as well. Memories Circled and flooded her head as she came to realize that she did. Please tell me.
Fine, she explained the finer details of what had happened that night. Angry and yet flattered that first she would try and kiss her, then the anger when she said she had to picture Angelina Jolie to kiss her. But she with held her emotions in check.
When she understood the why she was so pissed at her she did the only thing a woman in her position could do. She reached out placed her hands on Thunders cheeks pressed her lips on to hers and kissed. They held each other as they kissed passionately for a few minutes. Tigers hands crept down to Anal`s but and caressed it as they embraced each other. Thunder, jealous of the situation coughed to get the pairs attention at first it didn’t work but after a few other coughs they released each other’s passionate embrace (and yes, I threw that last part in for me :D).
Anal was left breathless and dazed at the ferocious kiss she just endured at the hands of Tiger. Yup all is forgiven she said.
By the way I was thinking of Ana Kornikova when we did that.
Anal shrugged and said Fair enough.
Tiger lead the renewed trio in their charge to obtain the Dildo of (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off) by hacking her way threw the massive bush’s that encircled the Flaccid Penis.
It didn’t take them as long as they anticipated to reach the base. It did take toll on Tiger Titties though. None could imagine the ordeal she went threw to cut threw the thick black bush. But she pushed forward and waved off all concerns from her two allies. Stating that the Dildo was lying in here in wait and they had wasted to much time when they where caught by in the gas clouds earlier. Reminding the pair that The Limpus Dickus had already had a large head start and time was of the essence. So they pushed forward.
They walked around the base of the shaft searching for clews when Thunder had accidentally tripped and fell on what was a pile of clothes. Upon further inspection though, she discovered a skull.
She screamed wildly jumped to her feet clenched her hands together and started screaming I got bone cooties. EW EW EW EW EW EW EW. She danced and around hollering in disbelief.
The other two at first sat and stared at the young hereon jumping up and down, but soon cleared the air with a boisterous laugh. As they watched Tiger dance and search for anti bacterial soap. At one point the pair had to sit and gasp for air. Ok I’ll deal with this said Thunder I’m used to bones, and I thought you would be to there. She giggled and began her investigation of the corpse. Rifling threw the pockets she found the membership card of the Fem Nazis crew with name King Dyke scratched on the sign here line. She turned the corpse over to inspect it further revealing a slew of old derelict arrows that had actually been the cause of her death.
Wow she survived her fall only to be killed by arrows. Wait a sec what if she didn’t jump in the first place. Pondered Thunder.
Well if she didn’t die from her jump why did she say she was going to jump? Asked Tiger.
Who knows. Retorted Thunder.
They sat there searching for the clouds that lined the blue sky for answers. When a stench, a sudden awkward mist began to form, which carried the scent of rotten fish along with it. The odd thing was this mist seemed to have a mind of it’s own. It followed no natural path, it began to swirl over the clean white bones of the once King of dykes and slowly it began to take shape. The mist eventually took shape into the form of the once mighty King Dyke.
Astonished at the development, and the stench, the trio took a step back. With no time spent the ghostly figure spoke. Welcome adventurers. It said both in a harsh male tone but carried a hint of femininity with it. I am King Dyke, the once powerful and mighty ruler of the Fem Nazis. Why Have you disturbed my corpse. Maybe you have come in search of my once powerful tongue lashings that I was known for, and had women cheering in delight?
Actually no. Tiger replied, still in state of awe.
Then why have you come.
We came in search of the Dildo of (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off).
My dear why would you be so foolish to search for this truly evil device. Tiger explained the current situation to the smelly apparition.
Ah I see, well you see I kind a lost it.
What? Annoyed at the smelly apparitions reply she quickly asked what had happened, and how she managed to loose the epic device.
It’s kind of a long story to make it short though considering you found me. Well rather what’s left of me. I fooled my tribe into thinking I jumped well I did I just looked for the softest place to land. You see the power of the relic lead me astray and I didn’t want to share its power. I wanted it all to myself. So I faked my death. I tried to harness its power. But it rejected me. It deemed me unworthy to use it. No matter how many times I caressed it and strapped it on. The apparition twitched several times before continuing with its story. I tried many times to tap it’s power but it rejected me over and over again. Until one day. One fateful day when I had finally discovered what it truly wanted in order to grant me its power I was discovered. A group of pygmy dykes found me. With out allowing me to explain in our native dyke the pygmies shot me dead with their bows and arrows. Kind of like an old crappy western.
Sucks to be you. Replied Tiger.
Yes, yes I deserved it.
So tell us what’s the secret of its power? Asked Tiger.
Look for the on switch. Any other questions ladies, or maybe I could do something to you?
Errrr yeah which way did the pygmies go.
Easy they went south they have a camp just on the other side of where my body lies. You sure I couldn’t maybe just ummm like touch your tits?
No its ok it’s we had plenty of action getting here thanks anyways.
Please I’m desperate here I’ve been stuck here for ages with no action.
Maybe when we’re done. With that the trio ran. Leaving the apparition in a sorrowful state.
Oh thank goooood, I don’t think I could have lasted much longer with out gagging. Jeeze did you see that armpit hair. I mean come on would have it killed her if she just shaved those things once in a blue moon. Said Thunder.
I think there was more hair under there then what we’ve cut down to get here. Exclaimed Anal, and the trio laughed. And continued their journey for the relic.
Day was coming close to and end when Thunder noticed something in distance. There you see it we must be getting close.
What, what are you looking at. asked Tiger.
Look over there you see the smoke. Just next to a patch of bush Tiger saw what Thunder was pointing out. Columns of smoke that sailed slightly over the horizon. Those can’t be natural. She pointed out. We must be close.
The trio picked up the pace as they could smell the end of their journey coming close to an end. They missed their lives back home and couldn’t wait to take a long hot bath with a nice vaginal rub from their boyfriends tongues . Well in one case maybe an Anal rub as well.
The sun began to beat on their backs as it kissed the edge of the horizon signalling the trio that night was near. Thunder quickly relied, lets wait here till the sun goes down and we’ll sneak in grab the relic and sneak out. The trio agreed and set up a small camp and sat quietly and waited. The sun soon disappeared underneath the skyline covering everything in a dark blanket. The trio could hear chanting and raving in the distance. The Pygmies must be celebrating something or other the trio had decided in silence fearing that any noise they exert may be detected.
The hours passed, and soon an eerie silence befell the camp as the smoke from the camp died down the trio noticed the smoke had also diminished to a small grey think stream. Now the only light they could see was from that giant pearl that floated effortlessly in the sky. They followed their dimly lit path almost effortlessly. It was if they glided on ice, the moved quickly with the faintest of sounds until they reached the edge of pygmy camp.
It took them a moment to realize the fact when them huts of the pygmies where in the shape of penis. Oder then that was the fact that they where almost as tall of these huts crouching. Which posed a slight problem if they needed to hide. None the less they had a task to complete, and they were damned if they where going to let a certain height restriction interfere. They searched and searched for a sign of where the Device was hidden. They rummaged threw anything that seemed important enough that would hold their prize. But to no avail. Their frustration mounted with no success, at one point Tiger threatened the other two into waking a pygmy and ringing its throat clean off. Suddenly Thunder noticed something peculiar. A hut that was larger then the rest centered in the middle of the quaint village. A hut large enough to allow easy access to a full grown women. None thought this was odd, they considered it to be a hut of importance and thus being larger then the rest.
She motioned the other two to follow. The entered the hut with ease. There situated in the center of the hut lay their prize. It stood on a pillar encircled by small lit candles, making it’s already powerful presence seem godly even to the trio. Glimmering in the ever so dreary presence of their current circumstances. Standing at attention the bronze Idle beckoned the trio, urging them forward to rescue it from its perch of solitude.
Grab it and lets go, whispered Anal. This place gives me the heeby geebies.
Thunder and Tiger crept slowly to the device, tip toeing even, hoping that no sign or patrol may sneak by and give out an alarm. Anal stood by in astonishment as she waited patiently watching the pair take their bloody freaking time. Seconds passed, then minutes, and still they didn’t even reach the half way mark. Anal’s patience quickly ran out. Jesus H Fucking Christ Could You go any fucking slower, she bellowed. As soon as she had realized her mistake she covered her mouth immediately. Think anyone heard that, she questioned the pair. With the conclusion of her sentence the pair looked at her speechless and pointed at her rear. There stood 4-5 pygmy dykes half dressed breasts exposed, a small brown loin cloth covering their pubic region. They all shared similar features, Cave womanish, Large fore heads, huge bushy eyebrows, hair just about everywhere. Seeing so much hair on the pygmies almost made the trio throw up in disgust.
The trio threw their hands in the air in defeat being caught by surprise they figure they need the time to make a plan to escape with their hides and their prize all intact, and who knows maybe they can get some intelligence on the tribe.
They where led to a hut that confused the trio. It was larger then the rest but looked exactly the same size as the others. They realized that the actual hut itself was nestled in a hill making it look like the others but vastly larger then the rest.
The pygmies led the trio into the hut, the trio stepped inside. When they realized their predicament was far greater then they first realized. There atop of a throne of mud and sticks, with his permanent limp dick perched on an alter, dressed in fancy weeds sat their arch nemisis, the Evil and vindictive Limpus Dickus. HA I’ve finally captured you three after all these years I can finally do away with you vaginal doo gooders. And to think all it took was a tribe of pygmy Dykes.
Limpus what the fuck are you doing here. Bellowed Tiger.
Well isn’t it obvious I am this tribes leader.
How did you manage to take a lead of a group of pygmy dykes?
Well it was actually a fluke. I was out taking a leak when to my dismay it wasn’t a bush I was peeing on but a group of these pygmies that huddled together for whatever reason. I shudder at the thought of it anyways. When they sat up with their ooze covered mouths, they took one look at me, then they took a look at my penis and started to chat for awhile. When I tried to leave they held their spears to my throat. So stood their with latterly my dick in my hands for what seemed like a good hour. Lord knows how they ever made it this far without a man. The trio shot him looks of death as he grinned at his belligerent comments. This only made him feel more powerful knowing he could take stabs at the trio with out any reprecution. So they lead me back here, the indecisive dolts. Still with my dick in my hands, they presented me to their queen. Then They just started all to bow. And the rest is history. Well unfortunately I still can’t get my hands on that blasted dildo. What got nothing to say?
No not really, exclaimed Thunder. I mean here you are surrounded by chicks and your still limp. I don’t think that’s much of a victory. The trio laughed as his rage made the veins in his grow, pulsating with fury.
KILL THEM he hollered furiously. KILL THEM. The pygmies looked at him then at each other not knowing exactly what he was saying. They shrugged their shoulders and marched the trio out of the tent.
Don’t worry I think I understand them, whispered Thunder to the other two.
Really, asked Tiger.
Yeah I speak a little dykeanese. I learnt a little in my college years. Don’t ask long story. Although I am having problems understanding them but from what I gather they speak a more rudimentary version of the dialect. The other two shrugged in agreement.
The trio where lead to penis shaped grass hut that had no door, but smelt peculiar. Two guards stood outside keeping watch at the trio. Ok so what’s the plan asked Tiger.
Well we need some intel, said Thunder.
Ok so baby with the golden tongue do your worst.
Thunder beckoned to one of the pygmy on the left. The pygmy not trusting thrust her spear at the brave Thunder
“Dykeanese on.” Hi I just want ask you some pussy said Thunder
Huh replied the Pygmy
Hi My name is Thunder Cunt. Whats your name?
Errr me?
Yes.
Oh my name is Larry. Kinda shocked at her response Thunder continued her somewhat reversed interogation. So what do you plan to do with us?
No clue, probably toss you off a cliff for a sacrifice to the giant flaccid penis. Personally I’d like to eat you out, But hey we can’t have it all.
Err yeah. Why do you have a guy for a leader?
He’s leader for now. We’re gonna toss him soon to. We were hoping he could make the flaccid penis become the Engorged Penis again. But so far like all guys big talk small cock.
Why do you want the flaccid penis Engorged again?
See many moon’s ago when the penis was erect, we would go to it in our time of need rub it a few times and it would shower us with life giving goo. Goo that would keep our crops up for ages and lots of sunscream so when we get board of tanning we could always go to where the shade is. To many years have passed and we’ve grown dependent on the hated Gay Guy Pygmies. We hate going there all they do is gossip and try and makes look pretty, and make us smell good. So we have to do all their manual labour for food, they’re afraid of chipping a nail. How fucking annoying. And it’s always a fucking party there disco balls and drinking and ……
OK kewl gotcha, she cut her off afraid the pygmy would go on for ages with out a break. Even though she was a dyke with a manly name she still had some feminity in her. What about the alter with the Dildo why do you keep that?
Oh we keep it there cause it reminds us of good times. No real reason we’re virgins to the twelve and we’ll stick to our six.
Oh hunny you don’t know what your missing.
Um by chance where u hit with a stupid stick? We’re only 4 feet tall that thing would go in one end and come out the other.
True. She drifted into a dream land of a twelve incher. Thinking of her boyfriend, she shrugged it off thinking this isn’t the time or place for that right now. Well I got an idea. If you let us live We could possibly help out.
What can you do for us?
Well what if I were to tell you we could possibly Get your penis Erect and take that annoying guy away from you and all it would cost you is your idle, well and of course letting us live.
Hrm Intresting let me talk to my queen. The pygmy Larry went over the other 4 foot tall dyke whispered in her ear and waddled off.
“Dykeanese off.”
Moments passed as Thunder explained to the pair the details of the conversation between the Pygmy and herself.
Wait, how do u think we can make the Flaccid Penis erect again? Questioned Tiger.
Ah well that’s the best part. We nail two birds with one stone. See we get the dildo of destruction up and running and we use it’s power to fuse with the flaccid penis. So we destroy the dildo and save the Pygmy dykes all at one time.
K same question different delivery. How do we fuse the dildo with the flaccid penis?
It’s actually quit simple. We use the Dildo at full power and throw into the base of the Flaccid Penis.
But what if it’s to much what if the Flaccid penis rejects it what if… Thunder interrupts Tiger quickly.
Well unless you two have any other Ideas we could work on I got none that would get all of us out of trouble without the use of force and the possibility of any of us getting harmed. None could think of a reason to deny her, or think of an alternative plan. Thunder prepared her tampons in case any trouble may occur, while Tiger caressed her nipples, preparing them, helping them lactate, Anal also prepared her gasses, rifling threw her specially prepared beans eating them with haste.
The queen approached their jail soon after they prepared for the worse. She unwittingly gave them enough time to prepare for any possible form of violence that may occur if their original plan failed.
“Dykeanese on.” So I hear you wish to speak to me.
Your majesty please hear us out this may help shit Cunt fuck twat, out. Queen gave a peculiar look as she tried to interpret Thunders broken Dykeanese.
Umm yeah she retorted. So you plan to help us out how exactly? Thunder went on to explain the details of her plan and the cost of her plan, at times the queen seemed somewhat offended and confused at Thunder`s broken Dykeanese. But with time she corrected and even helped Thunder out with certain words, allowing the two an easier communication.
After a few minutes of the two going back and forth answering questions, explaining situations, they came to an agreement. The queen ordered one of her entourage to fetch the relic. Several moments passed, when a squealing pygmy came rushing back. Words where spoken to the wueen questions where asked and answers where given.
Whats happening asked Tiger to Thunder.
From what I understand Flaccid Penis and the (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off) is gone. The other two gasped.
Quickly we must Find it hollered Thunder he can’t get away with such a powerful Item who knows what he’ll do with it. I don’t think he could have gotten far. The trio aided by the queen and her 4 foot tall cronies separated and began their search. Hours passed and nothing. They all headed back to regroup, all showed but Anal. Anal had vanished. When they realized she was no where to be found they all quickly grouped up and headed the same direction Anal had gone in search of the Evil Flaccid Penis. They did however notice in the distance some flashing lights and loud dance music. The queen pointed out and said Back door princes Pygmies, in her own broken English.
That’s where she must have gone whispered Thunder whispered. Tiger agreed and she motioned the queen to follow.
They approached the outer perimeter of the encampment and with out warning Tiger tripped and fell over something soft. Two load groans erupted from the mounds of flesh lying in the thick grass. Their under Tiger laid Anal. Bewilderment full upon the group as they stood in awe at why Anal had been lying in the grass. They helped Tiger up first. When they helped Anal out they noticed that she was in tears. She had laid down cause she was in tears from laughing so hard. When they asked her why she burst out laughing again. They let her sit and relax. At first they she must have been spotted and they must have had some kind of chemical weapon. But there was no signs of any struggles. So they let Anal recuperate from her orgasmic break down of laughter.
She this time after being helped up sat back down again. She took some deep breadths in. K Anal Breathe Anal Breath. She whispered to herself, while she practiced what she preached. As Anal tried to calm herself the group heard in the distance a peculiar frantic voice call for help, as if it was a signal Anal pointed over her shoulder and said you gotta see this.
The group peaked over the hedge to see what possibly could make Anal laugh so hard. Their jaws dropped from the scene they where witnessing, there strapped to a slat flab of rock was the evil Flaccid Penis. He screamed yet again while the group looked harder to see what was happening. There he lied with a group of Back door princes Pygmies dancing and waxing his superbly grown man hair. He screamed in hollered in vein as they waxed his but. Whimpered like a child as they waxed his groin. The Back door princes Pygmies danced and cheered as they took their time in waxing the hairy giant. I Don’t Swallow he bellowed in hopes they would set him free, no luck. They kept him strapped in there and had their way with his body hair. The trio along with the pygmies began to giggle in histaria as they watched him plea with his captors “I don’t swallow”
Anal was the first to recoup considering she had time to calm herself. K lets go home girls.
Wait, wait I need a pic of this, Thunder reached into her crotch and whipped out her super duper heavy duty cell phone with digital camera built in. She reached over the ledge and took her Kodak moment. A prize, and or a memoir of their epic heroic deeds.
They began their trek back to the Pygmy Dykies huts when Tiger stopped them with a ferocious “WAIT!”. They all turned in shock. We forgot (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off). Annoyed at her partner Anal turned around exposing her rear to Tiger, before she could continue ” Sorry Hunny I aint kissin that ass after its been rollin in the mud”. Anal shot her an evil eye over her shoulders and proceeded with reaching into her Anal cavity and withdrawing the relic.
I didn’t forget. I almost caught him when the Back door princes Pygmies got to him first. After they carried him away on their spic, he dropped it out his grass dress the Pygmy Dykes made for him. So I let them have him while I waited and grabbed it.
Ok I take that back I’m gonna give that nice sweet ass of yours a juicy one. Tiger bent over and laid the wettest kiss she could on Anal’s right cheek. And just so the other cheek doesn’t get lonely. She kissed the left one leaving lipstick marks on both cheeks of Anal’s buttocks. Anal giggled at her tickled butt.
So lets get this over with lets head straight for the base of the giant flaccid penis, said Thunder. All the group agreed and so they marched to the base.
It didn’t take much time for them to reach it thanks to the pygmies. They new the inns and outs of the valley. The trio quickly split up and looked for the deepest crevasse they could find. It didn’t lake at all as Thunder fell into one that took them directly under the giant Flaccid Penis. Here she screamed I think I got the perfect spot.
The echo carried on for ages, it caught the ears of all that where near and far, and they all rushed over to her. They pair instructed the pygmies to keep back fearing harm may come to them if they ventured in with the Heroines. They searched and searched for the perfect spot to place the (echo on) Destruction struction ction ction ction….. (echo off). They found a callas that protruded from the soft gooey center of the crevasse and placed the gigantic dildo atop of it. Anyone got the batteries? Asked Tiger, and with out ado Thunder reached in and withdrew out of her fanny pack a rabbit dildo. There she emptied her rabbit dildo which in fact looked more like the size a moose then a rabbit. She withdrew the batteries and handed them to Tiger. Tiger opened it and replaced the goo covered rotten batteries with the fresh ones from Thunder and placed the relic on the callas.
Here goes nothing, she whispered under her breath. She took the handy remote that was attached to the base of the giant relic and hit the on switch. At first nothing happened. The trio looked at each other and wondered If they did something wrong, when suddenly a feint hum emerged from the device. They sat there and watched at first they thought that it must have been just legend that the relic contained dangerous powers. Give it a few minuets maybe it just needs time to war……. The relic’s feint hum soon grew to an epic roar and began to pulsate. The vibrations from the device almost threw the trio to their feet. It was working. As soon as they began to celebrate their achievement the soft gooey surface began to grow hard. The Cavern began to shrink the Flaccid Penis Must be growing. Without hesitation they ran for the exit as the cavern shrunk all around them closing in on them. They ran for dear life. Tiger and Thunder made out smoothly but they didn’t realize that behind them Anal had fallen had lagged behind. Panicked at the thought of becoming a duo instead of a trio Tiger went to rush back in but the pygmies had stopped her cold in her tracks by jumping on her.
As the Giant penis grew and grew blocking out the very sun the pair began to holler and cry fearing the worst of Anal. But before any tears could be shed a Thunderous roar erupted from the shrinking cavern and out flew Anal farting her way to freedom. Landing right on the pair and the pygmies.
Thunder and Tiger laughed as they felt relieved that their partner ion crime had escaped with her hide and her rear in tact. At that moment the Penis at the fullness of its erection erupted and spewed its creamy goodness all over the pygmies and the trio, so much so it would make any hentia producer jealous of the epic proportions of man spirit that covered the land.
They all celebrated and cheered but the heroins job has been completed. They explained to the pygmies what to do if ever the penis became flaccid again wished them well, cleaned off the massive amounts of man spirit on their faces and headed home as they patted themselves on the back for a job well done.
After this Job the trio planned a nice long vacation some where dry and warm. So they agreed upon the hills of titiedome.
The end.