Tuesday, April 10, 2018

The N.R.A. and the land of the alligators

One
day a group of animal lovers lobbied for the right to keep alligators to
protect their property against other people who had bigger alligators.

It was
illegal to keep alligators, although many people did so. The constitution of
the country was amended to protect their right to own alligators. And so the
animal lovers created an organisation called the National Reptile Association (NRA).

Being under
no threat any more, the alligators multiplied in numbers. Some
people had so many alligators that they could no longer feed them all. So the
crocs escaped from their cages and disappeared into the swamps, rivers and
dams.

Alligator
owners were not worried, because they just made sure they had the biggest alligators
in the neighbourhood.

Before long,
the first attacks happened. Innocent people were attacked in their own
homes. Crododiles are not good at distinguishing between
friends and enemies. It was mostly the men’s alligatorsthat attacked the wives and in some cases even the
children.

When the
first child got killed by a alligator, all hell broke loose. The media reported on the shocking attacks, but nobody blamed the alligators or
their owners. They defended the second amendment to the constitution.

The
NRA was very well organised at this stage and had a slick PR campaign
in defence of the alligators. “Don’t touch our alligators. It’s
not a alligator problem! We have a right to keep alligators to defend
ourselves.”

They
persuaded the government to remove all obstacles that could harm the alligator
industry. The more alligators everyone had the safer the whole country would
be, was the argument.

Alligator
breeders made huge profits and became very, very rich. There was no restriction
on who could own a alligator. Even a 12 year old could keep as many alligators
as she wanted.

Nobody could
control the NRA and the alligators any longer. They became bigger and more
aggressive. Brazen attacks became a daily reality — in homes, in nightclubs and
public spaces. Their favourite feeding spots became schools and campuses.
Scores of people died.

The students
rose up, marched through the streets and shouted: Enough is enough! But
nobody heard. The lawmakers played golf. When asked for his comment, the President
responded by sending more alligators to teachers to protect the rights of alligator
owners.