Jolie, Depp Flee Gangsters, Cops in Opulent Venice: Rick Warner

By Rick Warner -
Dec 11, 2010

Like an elegantly wrapped Christmas
gift with a cheap toy inside, “The Tourist” is a tantalizing
package containing nothing worthwhile. Glowing with the star
power of Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp and a lush Venice
setting, this Hitchcock wannabe is a tepid thriller that sinks
faster than that waterlogged city.

A remake of the obscure 2005 French film “Anthony
Zimmer,” the movie tries to compensate for its dramatic
frailness with rooftop chases, canal boat collisions, designer
costumes, and opulent hotels and ballrooms. But the diversions
can’t mask the glaring lack of chemistry between the stars,
witless script and haphazard direction by Florian Henckel von
Donnersmarck.

Von Donnersmarck won an Oscar for his 2006 feature debut,
“The Lives of Others,” a lean, chilling look at the East
German police state in the 1980s. He parlayed that success into
this glitzy big-budget adventure, which originally was going to
feature Tom Cruise and Charlize Theron.

His transition to Hollywood filmmaking is painfully
awkward.

Most embarrassing are the mannequin-like performances by
Jolie and Depp. Jolie does a faux British accent and struts
around in gorgeous dresses, while Depp mumbles inanities and
sports a straggly hairdo that makes him look like he just got
out of a homeless shelter.

Chased by Gangster

Jolie plays Elise, a mysterious woman who meets mild-
mannered American math teacher Frank (Depp) on a train from
Paris to Venice and ensnares him in a web of intrigue involving
her criminal boyfriend Alexander. Alexander is being chased by a
British gangster (Steven Berkoff) he stole a fortune from and by
Scotland Yard investigators (led by Paul Bettany) who want him
to pay taxes on his ill-gotten gains.

Elise tries to throw everyone off Alexander’s trail by
convincing them that Frank is actually her lover, who may or may
not have drastically altered his appearance with plastic
surgery. Meanwhile, Elise and Frank engage in a Beauty and the
Beast flirtation that makes even less sense than hiring von
Donnersmarck as director.

“The Tourist” borrows its mistaken identity theme and
other touches from “North by Northwest,” but that’s where the
similarities end. Hitchcock was the master of suspense. The
biggest mystery in “The Tourist” is why it ever got made.

“The Tourist,” from Columbia Pictures, is playing across
the U.S. Rating: *1/2