Denver Idiots Pull A Weekend At Bernie's With Their Friend's Corpse

No matter what else happens, this is bound to be the most disturbing film-related story you’ll read all weekend.

The Denver Post reports that Robert Young, 43, and Mark Rubinson, 25, have been charged with “abusing a corpse, identity theft and criminal impersonation” after they took their friend’s corpse out for a night on the town in a morbid scene ripped right out of the 1989 comedy Weekend at Bernie’s. As I’m sure you all remember, Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman starred in Bernie’s as down-and-out employees of an abusive jerk (Terry Kiser) who pretend their murdered boss is still alive for a complicated weekend.

The real-life Colorado incident isn’t quite as sordid, though it’s equally grotesque. Young, according to reports, was staying with the deceased, Jeffrey Jarrett, while he tried to get back on his feet. After coming home one night, Young found Jarrett “unresponsive.” Where most of us would call 911, Young instead loaded Jarrett’s body into the back seat of Rubinson’s Lincoln Navigator and headed to Teddy T’s bar and grill.

Sure. That makes total sense.

The men confess that the body stayed in the car while they drank on Jarrett’s tab. They eventually brought Jarrett’s body back to his house, then headed out with the dead man’s ATM card. Classy. But wait, it gets better. All of that corpse hauling helped them build up an appetite, so Young and Rubinson went for dinner at Viva Burrito. Before calling it a night, they withdrew $400 (likely from Jarrett’s bank account) and hit up Shotgun Willie’s strip club. They finally flagged down a police officer around 4 a.m. and informed them that Jarrett might be dead back in his home.

"This is a bizarre and unfortunate crime," said Denver Police Department spokesman Sonny Jackson. "This isn't anything you want to have happen to a loved one. You want them treated with respect in death."

No kidding. I’m with Jarrett’s unidentified relative, who told the press, “We just want to make sure they're prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."