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More on writing.

I was going to get mad at myself for putting my novel that is unfinished on hold.

But then, I realized that, just this year alone, I have wrote a lot more than I did last year or the year before that.

And that is good.

For the first time, I have a finished work which is a short story. Yay! I actually finished something and that feels good. It makes me feel like a bonafide writer.
Other than that, I have an ongoing projects such as my naruto hashimada fanfiction. I know fanfiction shouldn't quite count but it does because it forces me to write and to have deadlines. So, it's a good thing. It's pushing me and stretching me further as a writer. I really like that.

And, I have new stories but they do originate from me combining two completed (idea wise) stories together. Yup, this is just me being lazy, trying to shorten my to write list.

But the crazy thing is, by combining two different stories together, I come to have something that is much more solid, crazy and fun. It's so special. It's like it works even better than the originals. Of course, from time to time, I do miss the originals because the originals had special traits in them that could not be passed on into this new merged one.

But this new merged one would have all the best qualities from both stories and it looks absolutely beautiful. So merging two stories together wasn't a bad idea, after all.

And as a writer, I am more than just me. I am a storyteller, responsible to becoming the voice of my characters.

By writing, I can see the world in many different paradigms and I can feel many different emotions that I may usually not feel.

Through writing, I am able to understand, to convey messages and to express how I feel.

I also gain wisdom through writing.

Writing is a bridge. A bridge to my past and my future. It helps me understand my past, express my emotions and to learn from it. As for my future, writing allows me to make prophecies.

And it's crazy. I used to think that I was blind. That I never knew or understood something.

Then, I look back at my writings.

That is when I realized that I have always knew and understood.

But I suppose I chose not to believe. Or that, I was not conscious of the fact that I knew.

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This is a letter for myself. But this is also a letter for those who find themselves in the same place as I am.

I'm going to admit that life is different from what I initially thought when I was younger.

When I was younger, I assumed that by now, I would have reached or be somewhat close to the life of my dreams.

But now that I reach this point, I realised that I was wrong. I did not take into account that tertiary education took years. Personally, I don't regret my tertiary education because I did enjoy it. Yes, it was insane and difficult but it was fun and I met amazing people there.

It's been a year since my graduation and I find myself being frustrated. I felt disappointed in myself because no, I don't have my own apartment and no, I'm not rocking that cool ass job that I always dreamed of. But no, I don't hate my job either. In that sense, I'm fortunate I suppose. But I feel that it may not be the kind of thing that I want to do.

Man, it feels odd to have people believe in you at the very moment you do not trust yourself. It feels odd to hear people's praises of you when you're feeling incapable. So I guess, it's time for one of my many alter ego to suit up if I wanna win that debate competition!!

Like any other person, I have many alter ego's...and I'm gonna list most of them today.

Ms Drama QueenLikes :Attention and spotlight. She's a diva.Dislikes :People stealing her spotlight or not getting her spotlight.She is : A real drama queen. She whines & complains alot though. She thinks that the world revolves around her.Can't handle :Ms Productive

Ms Arrogant Likes : Winning, winning and winning.Dislikes : Losing and losers.She is : A real mean arrogant person. She really doesn't care about the other people. She thinks she is the best. Mostly, she thinks that her opponents aren't even her equal unless they have proven otherwise. Even then, she still thinks she is better than …

I guess it's time I grow up. When high school is over, I have to grow up, be a mature and a responsible little young lady.There's alot of things I have to learn.

To be honest, I'm a little afraid of leaving graduating from high school.WHY?I mean, I've been going to school for years. And the thought that it will finally end is a relief but also a little frightening.

But it's a new chapter in life. Everyone goes through it. So yea, I'm afraid but excited at the same time. There's so much to do after the graduating. College, driver licence & etc...

I guess I'll miss high school a little. Never thought it would end...but yea, it will soon enough.

Before I left high school, I need some closure. I mean, I made some friends & lost some friends. I do have some regrets. I was such an idiot and arrogant ass last time.So yea, before high school end, I need to send some letters to the few people I hurt.