People always ask me what my favorite film is. I never have a good answer. There are a lot of great ones out there. The other day I found myself watching Gerry for the sixth or seventh time. It has got to be in my top five. It’s a Gus Van Sant film, one of my favorite directors, made in 2002. He, Matt Damon, and Casey Affleck wrote it. Almost ten years old it still serves the same justice for me.

It’s about two guys, Gerry (Casey Affleck) and Gerry (Matt Damon), who go for a hike in the desert and end up getting lost without any food or water. A serious test on their friendship and the will to survive.

The whole film has about two pages of dialogue. You are basically watching these guys go through a series of events and asking yourself, “What the f#&k?? Are they stupid? Why would they do that?” You start to put yourself in their shoes. Then you start to imagine what if it was you stuck out there? How would you handle this situation?

I have a bit of an obsession with torcher. I like needles. I like pain. I have a fantasy of getting dropped off in the middle of the jungle with four of my best friends, all armed with some sort of fire-weapon, and see who makes it out alive. Either working together or turning against. I am sure someone has made a film on that. If not, they should. I love going for a hike where I don’t know how long it is or what I have gotten myself into.

Testing my wit and courage to survive. That’s what I want to do. I don’t want to die of course, and I am very careful in my life to prevent that. Maybe that is why I like watching this film so much. I watch these guys, Gerry and Gerry, slowly fade away and lose their minds. I think the lack of water gets them first. Then ending up in the same place after circling the desert. They must go through about four different landscape changes before ending up almost back to where they started.

It’s amusing in a way. One part of the film has Gerry climbing onto a rock to see where they are and later figuring out that he can’t jump down because it’s too high. So the other Gerry scrapes a pile of dirt together for him to jump onto. The pile of dirt can’t be more than six inches deep. That’s a hell of a solution! It is when you are losing your damn mind.

I love Van Sant because he makes you watch. He forces you to boredom and makes you think. And for me that is one of my favorite things about him. He gets it right quite often too. There is a scene in the movie where the Gerry’s are just walking. That’s it. They are walking. You can hear the crunching of the sand. You see their faces. You see the pain. You see them not wanting to say a f#%king word to one another. Or you see them not thinking about anything. They are just walking because that is what you do when you are lost. Van Sant takes you though a seven-minute take of that. Not changing shots, just holding on them, following their every step. It is my favorite part of the film. You ask, “How long is he going to do this for?” That is symbolic of the film in its entirety. How long are they going to do this for? You almost want to jump in and help.

The movie doesn’t end so well for one of the Gerry’s. Gerry played by Matt Damon seems to keep his shit together a little bit longer than Gerry played by Casey Affleck. Just like in real life, someone is going to lose his or her shit before the other person. I know it wouldn’t be me. I am the strongest. I will survive. I always have.

Well, it actually went down like this…a guy walks into a bar, my workplace, during my private screening of Closing Doors. This was the last attempt to raise some dough for our festival run. If you have been following the film you’ll know we are on our fifth festival in as many months. There is an archive in the blog last month that should help explain.

But this dude has long hair and a cap on and says he wants to talk to me about an idea. I was busy talking to the 100+ guests that showed up so I gave him my number and said call me tomorrow.

Guess what? He called and we talked. For about an hour. I was driving so it really didn’t matter. He had a lot to say about wanting to get some great people together and how he has been gripping in the industry for twenty years and yada yada yada. I have been the beneficiary of a lot of bullshit throughout my time in Los Angeles so I take this type on convo with a grain of salt. Until I see action.

Let me say how much he complimented my directing of the film and thought I had some talent to offer his “idea”. Thanks Kosta.

Well, Kosta calls me a month or two back and asks me if I would be interested in directing a music video of a new and up and coming artist, Duane Cali. I said, “sure…but let me ask you some questions.”. So I grinded for a while covering my bases. I have done some stuff in my career so far that has had some nightmare moments. Stuff that has made me say, “I will never f$&@ing do that again!”. I feel I have earned the right, ya dig? He had great answers.

He went on to assure me to trust him. So I have. I have had a few convos with the guys involved, artist and producer, and things seem to be on track. I saw a clip of the dancers today and was impressed. I guess a choreographer who works with Lil’ Wayne often is helping. I hot a buddy who I recently worked with who is going to run camera as well as Kosta’s DP.

I am fully on board and we are set for for a shoot next week. I get to direct and that’s it. I don’t have to produce and and wear 100 hats. I just get to prepare and show up and do what I think I know how to do. I am definitely getting better at it. Smile.

you need to. Every so often you have got to check-out. I do. I was getting close to a melting point. Consistently worked my ass off. I know, I know, ya gotta work hard to get results. Shit, I have been doing that for years. I am one of the hardest working people I know, but I needed a vacation.

“There is a visual representation of my trip at the end of the Blog, mostly in the same order”

A vacation is not three or four days out-of-town, hiding, trying to figure out a way to not let anyone know you are gone. I think that ends up being more stressful than staying in town and hiding. I mean a real vacation. I think it has to at least be a week long. You have to have the ability to turn off your phone and not worry if someone can’t get ahold of you. You have to let the emails pile up. You have to have time to let go of every responsibility that you have, besides staying alive. Smile, I like that one. And, you have to surround yourself with shit you enjoy doing and people you haven’t seen in a while. Puts a fresh perspective on life.

It’s also fun to see some other people’s misery. Let’s you know it’s not all “kites and sausages” out there, as my brother would say. Even better if when seeing you helps make the misery go away, then you matter a bit.

I am one day back from my vacation. My personal check-out. I have a new spin on life. I am finding a way to live that is more productive but slowing life down at the same time. No more multi-tasking. I am spending serious time periods in the most productive fashion while I get to enjoy the shit out of the rest of them. I am not gonna lie, I am getting all this from a book my buddy told me to read. It’s called, The Four Hour Work Week.

I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now. I know the productive way to get there. I know this because I rode my bike to get coffee today and I was thinking, “Should I paddle-board today? Or maybe go for a hike? Definitely a run, then a beach work-out. Wait, I should Blog this morning. Yes, that’s what I am doing.” Any other old day I would have headed straight home from coffee and started returning emails and going down my To-Do list. Instead, I have scheduled times for these things. Man, it is refreshing.

You know what is cool? I got online yesterday and checked out the link to buy the movie I directed, Alphonso Bow, it came out in June to the public, and there were only two copies left on Amazon.com. That is amaze-balls news a month later, it came out June 21st. Oh, and Closing Doors got into another festival. The fifth one in as many months. All this while I was on vacation. I wasn’t sitting here worried about what I can do to push the movie or tell more people about it. Granted, it still needs to be done, but it is OK to let it go for a minute, or ten days.

I went back to Michigan, where most of my roots are. My best friend from college lives there. Both sides of my family were there. I had to make a bit of a triangle to see them all but it worked out perfectly.

I started out in Traverse City with the tail end of the Cherry Festival which included my traditional 15K race and some awesome fireworks over the bay, saw my sister have a baby, congrats Chelsea, and saw my other sister and brother and their babies. Shout out to Teddy, Mary, and Dani for hosting the traditional party and BBQ on the lake. That taco salad should be illegal. Eric, thanks for coming to meet up and chit-chat about the next movie. Glad we are still friends. Except I can’t barely remember that night! A boot of beer? JC. Kurtz, Carter, and anyone else I forgot or don’t remember seeing, it was a beautiful weekend. Thanks Mom and Terri for letting us crash. We will bring and adult to watch over us next time. Abe, happy birthday.

After TC I cruised to my Dad’s cabin on Lake Huron, the other side of the state. Great grilling, visiting with an uncle I hadn’t seen in twenty years, and seeing my grandparents for the first time in a couple of years. Thank for the waffles, Grandma.

I spent the last five days down in Detroit, just chillin’. Hanging with my pal’s baby girl, O. I think she liked me. I spent a couple of days running the tire off around my waist that I kindly received from drinking and eating for ten days straight. It is still there but shall be gone in a few. Don’t tell my print agent! I spent hours and days riding a beach cruiser around Hines Park listening to my book that I mentioned at the beginning of this. A beach cruiser in Detroit. That’s funny to say. Thinking how excited I am to put that book into action. And, damn it feels good.

Of course I went from a Tiger baseball game at Comerica park right to the airport. That’s the way to leave town and head back to reality. Thanks J and M for the hospitality and great home cooking. Stone and Smith, was a f#$%ing blast hanging out. And Smitty, the tickets rocked. O, you are a beautiful little girl and so damn happy.

Mel showed me a couple of videos that I think are appropriate for the trip. Hilarious is one, the other, my buddy and I would do the same as it. You decide which is which.

An ode to Baby Blues BBQ, Sara and Pauline from Southern Wine & Spirits, and the Angels. Thanks to Bryan and Tony for letting me meet the boys from Detroit and give them some BBQ on the 4th of July.

This last week was full of awesomeness. I got to take my lady and her kid down to the Angels/Tigers game on the 4th. What better day to go to a baseball game? The American friggin’ dream. And better yet, I got to meet the announcers, Rod and Mario, from the Tigers. Yup, I took them ribs from Baby Blues BBQ. Hope they talked about it on TV!

The best day was not the 4th but the 6th. It was a day game. Probably 100 degrees and we were right in the shit. One of my favorite things is to be in miserable heat at the same time everyone else is. For some reason it isn’t painful, more enjoyable. To share that pain with others. We got super hooked up by a liquor company I know and they gave us their box in the stadium club. It is seriously like hanging out in an outside bar watching a game live. Standing, sitting, nice bathrooms, bacon wrapped hotdogs, and Jackie our waitress, who never got a drink right, but was so so sweet. Freaking amazing.

And my team won! They lost on the 4th. Pictures once again say a 1000 words. We had some great company with Brian and David too.

Off to Michigan. The last of my vacation or hiatus or whatever you wanna call it.

I am sitting here at the airport trying not to worry about work or what I have to do or who I am going to miss. It’s hard for me. To relax. To let go. To turn my dang phone off.

But I am going to. Maybe minus a blog or two. I am really looking forward to letting it go. It’s been about a year since my last Michigan trip and that’s the last time I checked out.

I had a really nice day yesterday just relaxing and getting ready to go. It was a peaceful exit. I took a nice bike ride with my baby. I ate healthy. I watched a baseball game. I had a meeting for a music video that I am going to direct when I get home. AND, I listened to this book called the “4-hour work week” while I was running on the beach. I bought the audio version so I could listen while I run. I run a lot so I should have it finished in a week or so. I actually kept running because I didn’t want to stop listening. Then I remembered I was running a f$&@ing race in Michigan in two days and I should save some legs. I have a feeling this book is gonna help me grow some bigger balls. I actually waited to write in my blog til after it settled in a bit so I wasn’t too irrational. I am sure a lot of people already know about it but I will keep you posted. And if you know me at all, then you know what I am saying.

It has been a constant struggle the last couple months to take a leap. In the direction I have have been going, ya know, but just go full in. It’s making me wanna do things like hike Kilamanjaro. Which I am going to do. I just don’t know if it will happen next week. Ha.

Cheers to summer hiatus. Family, I will see you soon.

Some fun pics from yesterday. Thursday night concerts at the pier in Santa Monica. They had some salsa bands last night. Pretty cool. Only stayed for a minute. We rode bikes to get Froyo. Thought the bike riding validated the yogurt. And some Venice stuff. Ya dig?

How far back can you remember your 4th of July’s? I was trying this morning and I could only get to last year. Everyone keeps asking me, “What’s going on this weekend? What are you doing? Where are the parties at?” I guess it doesn’t matter cuz I can’t f#$%ing remember what I did the last twenty-some-odd years. I do know last year I was in Michigan with my family for the 4th and for the Traverse City Cherry Festival. That was a friggin’ blast. I am actually headed there next week.

But let’s talk about this weekend. It’s nice that the 4th falls on a Monday. That means a three-day weekend for most. Not me. I will be slingin’ BBQ and drinks through Sunday but then I can festive too. What do I do? I live in Venice so it will be a madhouse here all dang weekend. I am not a fan of the shit show that goes on so I try to hide from it. I guess that’s why I work all weekend. Then I don’t have to make up a lame excuse for not partaking. Plus, if I can’t remember what I did for the last ten of these holidays then it doesn’t really matter what I do cuz I am not missing out on anything. I can tell you that if I don’t remember what I did, I had a blast. Some of the best times I have ever had I can’t f#$%ing rememebr. Sad, huh? It’s pretty funny actually.

I am, however, headed to Angel Stadium on the actual 4th to see the Tigers play the Angels. Funny I was watching the game yesterday and was listening to the announcers, Rod Allen and Mario Impemba, and heard them talking about BBQ and how you must eat BBQ on the 4th. They were doubting that California had any good BBQ. Now, I follow Rod Allen on Twitter, @rodallen12. He’s a funny man and I love listening to the games with those guys announcing. I decided to offer to bring him down some BBQ for the 4th in a little tweet I sent him during the game. He friggin’ answered me! It was so cool. He actually replied to me during the game. That’s a cool dude.

So, my 4th of July will full of baseball, BBQ, Rod, my little family, and a fireworks show that should be out of this world since we will be about a mile from Disneyland. I will be remembering this 4th for sure.

As for this weekend, who knows? I might get into a little trouble on Sunday night after all the riffraff (disreputable persons) leave my neighborhood or the neighborhood that allows me to live in it. Before that, I will be hanging down at Baby Blues BBQ with all my regulars and visitors for the weekend, watching baseball and getting people krunk and full. It’s not a bad gig. I actually enjoy the heck out of it. See, I get to have fun, socialize, watch sports, and work at the same time. Pretty much like going out at a bar except I am already at the bar or being at my crib with a bunch of friends over. Double Whammy!
Football Sundays please come back and don’t be late.

Whatever you decide to do this weekend, I wish you the best. A safe and happy 4th of July.