Sunday, June 20, 2010

Paging KDT: A Father's Day Post

Today is Father's Day, and so this post is a humble ode to my father. It's hard to adequately describe my dad; his Facebook posts and my stories about him have made him something of a small legend in the Royal Danish Ballet. Brilliant beyond belief, with a sense of humor that is perhaps more twisted than my own, I talk to my dad every day (often multiple times a day). I'm lucky to find myself, at 21 years old, having a unique father-daughter relationship where we're more like best friends than a dad and a daughter. I tell him everything, literally. Boy problems; work things; personal problems; where I went out; whatever. And miraculously, he listens and responds to my whining/jokes/hyperarticulate overthinker's musings on any and every subject. He emails me fun stuff to do in Copenhagen--things I don't even hear about, and I live here--and which bands I *have* to see at Roskilde, based solely on their weird names (prime example: Japandroids).

My dad has taught me innumerable life lessons, some of which I will share with you here. Beer is good. Budweiser and Stella Artois are barely beer. Talking Heads will always be awesome. P.G. Wodehouse's Jeeves & Wooster can brighten the gloomiest of days. Bacon = ambrosia. Bullitt bikes rock, especially his, dubbed Steve McQueen. Steve McQueen rocks. Internationally prank-calling my fighting neighbors via Skype will occasionally calm them down. Never post Facebook pictures in which my curly hair makes me appear "perilously close to channeling Fran Lebowitz." [In short: Fear the Lebowitz.] Important updates about goulash are occasionally necessary, especially if one is going to Budapest. Tavi looks like a Muppet. Men have a proven mathematical equation to figure out how 'young' they can date: His Age/2 + 7 = Youngest Dateable Age. Baðherbergi = bathroom in Icelandic. Coffee is necessary to start, and thus get through, every day. In related news, cheap coffee beans produce coffee that tastes the same as the expensive stuff. If you go somewhere memorable, always take proof of purchase--like going to church and taking home a bulletin. Rafiqi's gyro stand on the Upper East Side of Manhattan is an excellent place to go for lunch. In Copenhagen, biking to IKEA from Kongens Nytorv is not as wonderful of an idea as it sounds. Going out and having a good time is totally allowed, especially in your 20s. The Sleep Talkin' Man might be a genius. It is okay for me to be single, and it is also okay for me to confess crushes; related: if I am home alone and choke, I can always give myself the Heimlich maneuver. If you're into graphs or displaying information or reading things with titles like The Visual Display of Quantitative Information, then Edward Tufte is your guy. Watch out where the huskies go, don't you eat that yellow snow. Videos and webcams of pretty much anything in Iceland are very cool. Gooby is a word. The Internet makes stalking, research, new virtual celebrities, finding out about weird events, and international communication possible; for these reasons, we love the information superhighway. "Overshare" is the new "TMI." The GMail Chat monkey emoticon is a wonderful way to end most online conversations, especially when typed with the Danish word for monkey: ABE!. [Furthermore, if you name the monkey 'Maria,' you can then say, 'Abe, Abe, Abe, Maria.'] United States one-dollar bills are excellent for making origami, specifically origami button-down shirts. Glee is like Cop Rock, but without the cops. Puns, especially when related to sheep, are fun. A healthy sense of humor (dark, droll, sarcastic, witty, punny, doesn't matter) is crucial to leading a happy life. And one more time: beer is good, especially with bacon.

A happy, happy Father's Day to my dad, the weirdest, coolest, most intelligent, funniest guy I am privileged to know :)