The Onion rarely fails to deliver… this time it is their excellent twist on Dante’s Inferno which has caught the Core’s attention. All those who remember CC102’s Dantean struggles will appreciate this. Here is an extract:

CITY OF DIS, NETHER HELL–After nearly four years of construction at an estimated cost of 750 million souls, Corpadverticus, the new 10th circle of Hell, finally opened its doors Monday.
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“A nightmarishly large glut of condemned spirits in recent years necessitated the expansion of Hell,” inferno spokesperson Antedeus said. “The traditional nine-tiered system had grown insufficient to accommodate the exponentially rising numbers of Hellbound.”
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“In the past, the underworld was ill-equipped to handle the new breed of sinners flooding our gates–downsizing CEOs, focus-group coordinators, telemarketing sales representatives, and vast hordes of pony-tailed entertainment-industry executives rollerblading and talking on miniaturized cell-phones at the same time. But now, we’ve finally got the sort of top-notch Pits of Doom necessary to give such repellent abominations the quality boilings they deserve.”
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Among the tortures the Corpadverticus Circle of Total Bastards boasts: the Never-Ending Drive-Thru Bank, the Bottomless Pit of Promotional Tie-In Keychains, and the dreaded Chamber of Emotionally Manipulative Home Shopping Network Products.
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His face contorted in the Misery of the Damned, a Disney lawyer said: “It’s hell here–there are no executive lounges, I can’t get any decent risotto, and the suit I have to wear is a cheap Brooks Brothers knock-off. I’m beeped every 30 seconds, and there’s no way to return the calls. Plus, I’m being boiled upside down in lard while jackals gnaw at the soles of my feet. If I could just reach the fax machine on that nearby rock, I could contact some well-placed associates and work something out, but it’s just out of my grasp, and it’s out of ink and constantly blinking the message, ‘Replace Toner Cartridge, Replace Toner Cartridge, Replace Toner Cartridge.'”

He then resumed screaming in agony.

]]>http://blogs.bu.edu/core/2013/10/18/the-onion-tenth-circle-added-to-dantes-hell/feed/0The Onion Pokes Fun at Copy Editorshttp://blogs.bu.edu/core/2013/08/14/the-onion-pokes-fun-at-copy-editors/
http://blogs.bu.edu/core/2013/08/14/the-onion-pokes-fun-at-copy-editors/#respondWed, 14 Aug 2013 14:58:47 +0000http://blogs.bu.edu/core/?p=2644In its trademark satirical manner, the Onion has a humorous go at stereotypical copy editors and their fuss over grammar. Here is an extract:

“At this time we have reason to believe the killings were gang-related and carried out by adherents of both the AP and Chicago styles, part of a vicious, bloody feud to establish control over the grammar and usage guidelines governing American English,” said FBI spokesman Paul Holstein, showing reporters graffiti tags in which the word “anti-social” had been corrected to read “antisocial.”