Thursday, June 12, 2014

Life with Fred and Lucy, Episode 31: Street Smarts

How does one acquire street smarts?
If you have parents with a bad case of OCD and paranoia, the answer is easy; trust
no one. My father was a survivor of “The Great Depression” and my mother moved
here from Naples, Italy right as Mussolini was in power and becoming chummy with
Hitler, so they saw things that probably stayed with them for a long time.

My father could tell by a person’s
body language if they were up to no good. Every once in a while, when a
customer entered our store, Fred would say to us four kids, “Keep an eye on him
or her. They’re going to steal something.”

Since I usually played the role of
‘Devil’s Advocate’ I would quickly counter with, “But…dad, they go to school
with us. I don’t think they’re like that.”

“Just watch,” my father would snap
back his reply, folding his arms in confirmation. Damn! He was right. I would
watch from a hidden section of the story and see friends and neighbors that I
knew or thought I knew, pocket candy or cakes, rolls, etc. into coat pockets or
purses.

My father was a fountain of
behavior profiling before it was ever a science or used by law enforcement
agencies. These are just a few of his theories: Always check their eyes; If
they won’t look you in the eye, they’re hiding something; If they keep glancing
around as if nervous, they’re getting ready to do something bad; If they keep
clearing their throats when speaking to you, they are in the act of lying.

The sisters practicing self-defense on each other

Why were Fred and Lucy always on
target? It was a gift. With my mom, I think it had to do with her psychic
abilities and with Fred maybe it was the horror of growing up during very hard
times. My father said he could usually tell if a person was ‘missing a few days
of the week’ (the code for knuckleheads) by looking at their eyes. There were so
many times that my father and I would argue because he didn’t like one of my
friends. “Keep away from that kid! There’s something wrong with them.” Fred was
usually right about the friends that he didn’t like, but at the time I was too
angry to appreciate his attempts to protect me.

The behavior profiling didn’t stop
in the store. My parents were always telling us kids how to be aware of your
surroundings while away from home. Here is a list of Fred and Lucy’s truisms: Always
keep looking behind you when walking on the street; if you’re suspicious about
someone who is approaching you; cross the street and then walk quickly away;
lock your car door as soon as you get into the car; hold your purse close to
your body; if there is a group heading your way, and you’re afraid, then walk
into the street.

I wondered if walking into oncoming
traffic was wise, but Fred had an answer for that too. “If you have to get hit
by a car to keep from getting dragged into the bushes; do it.” Since we did not
have bushes in South Philly, I kind of ignored that bit of advice, but it did
come in handy years later.

We kids became street wise and
there were dangerous situations that we were able to avoid or get away from
because of the lessons learned from Fred and Lucy. I passed these lessons on to
my daughter, and she to her children.

Recently, my youngest grandson was being
followed by a white pick-up truck. It could have been innocent, but… he was
nervous. It didn’t seem right that the truck would drive real slow as it
followed him home for almost two weeks. ReRe notified the police who took down the information. Was that enough for my daughter and I? Hell no!

My daughter and I began our stake-out. Wehad coffee, cameras, and dark sunglasses. We were ready for the
white pick-up. We would watch as Nathan
left the school to walk home; wait a few minutes to see if anyone followed and
then we tailed Nathan until he reached home.

We were trying to be like Cagney and Lacey

We did this for several weeks and collected a
few suspicious license plate numbers for the police. We may have scared the
shit out of the men in that white pick-up, because Nathan hasn’t seen the truck
since we began our stake-out. The investigation
is still on going, but to make sure Nathan was 'street smart ready', I re-stated
my parent’s warnings.