I'm doing this for me

RHOBH: EAT, DRINK AND BE MARRIED

We start out with Erika & Mikey meeting up with the Pretty Mess Team to discuss Erika’s upcoming Pretty Mess Tour. They’re going over her set – they’re switching things up a bit, and they’re going to have multiple costume changes. One of the outfits is basically an homage to that latex outfit Erika wore in Berlin (that flashback gives me life, LMAO.) Erika is super excited, and I absolutely love seeing her in her element.

Over at Haven & Co, Kyle, Dorit & Teddi are shopping for a wedding gift for Denise. They’re not sure what to get her. Dorit tells us, “All I know is that she likes tequila.” LMAO. Kyle’s disappointed that she’s going to miss the wedding – but not because she’s such a good friend, but because she can’t believe Denise managed to throw this together in 2 days, and she wants to see if it will be pulled off. According to Kyle, this has “disaster” written all over it. (I can feel myself turning on Kyle again, FYI. I believe Lisa Rinna would call me a flip flopper.) Teddi tells us that her wedding was pretty low key, but still took 6 months to plan. Of course Dorit had a lavish, over the top, Gatsby style wedding. “We were living in LA, our wedding was going to be in NY, and our wedding planner was in London.” Serious eye roll, stop it.

I know I said in past blogs that I saw a pattern with LVP, and while I do still see that, I’m also starting to see a pattern with Kyle. Kyle seems to like this drama – why else is she constantly bringing LVP up? She tells Teddi that she’s going to see Lisa at Denise’s wedding – how does she feel about that? Teddi’s not worried; she said her piece, and she feels like she and LVP can co-exist. Kyle tells us in her confessional that she hates that her two good friends aren’t getting along. (Why don’t I believe this?) She says she tried getting LVP and Teddi to meet and talk, but neither of them were interested. I mean….I would’ve believed Kyle if she hadn’t continuously filled Teddi’s ear with negative talk about LVP. I don’t buy this. I don’t understand why Kyle would have it out for LVP, but there’s something sketchy about this that I’m just not getting.

Denise and Aaron are at Cypress Sea Cove, where they potentially hope to have their wedding. (Which is 2 days away, FYI, LMAO.) They instantly fall in love, and they tell the coordinator that they’ll take it. When he realizes how quickly they want to get married, his jaw drops. I’m loving Denise you guys, she is seriously so friggen chill.

Rinna’s in a hotel room, alone, and FaceTiming Denise. They’re talking about her wedding, and Rinna doesn’t think Denise is rushing into anything. She talks about her own wedding with Harry Hamlin, and how they got married at their house, and everyone held a candle and the entire ceremony was lit by candlelight. Rinna informs Denise she would not miss her wedding for the world, and she’s excited to see her.

LVP & Ken are looking at kitchens – Lisa wants a new one; she hates her kitchen, she says it’s so dark and dreary and depressing. I am LOLing at LVP trying to sell the idea to Ken – a new kitchen would make her so happy and she needs to be surrounded by pretty, positive things. It would also increase the value of the house, LMAO. A new kitchen is good for the soul. Preach, Lisa. The kitchen she’s looking at is absolutely gorgeous. She gets it.

It’s the night before the wedding, and Denise doesn’t even have her dress yet, yet she’s still so chill and so calm. I legit aspire to be Denise Richards – her carefree attitude is so refreshing, I wish I could be this way. I love that Denise invited Charlie – she invites him to anything involving the kids, which I think is wonderful co-parenting. “Even if he brought a prostitute as his date, I wouldn’t care.” DEAD, LMAO. Denise does share with us that she’s sad her Mom won’t be there – her mom passed some years ago, and she wants to light a candle in honor of her. Very sweet. Aaron’s only qualm is that they didn’t tell her daughters sooner – Denise tells us in her confessional that she waited to tell the girls because she was afraid her teenage daughters would judge her, LOL. Sami and Lola are both totally fine with it, and Eloise clearly loves Aaron. Aaron is the absolute sweetest – when he gave the girls necklaces, I was basically crying. I love this family.

It’s the day of the wedding, and everyone is arriving. Erika & Rinna come together, and Erika is wearing one of Rinna’s QVC jumpers. I love it, I think she looks so chic and simple, and pretty. Rinna’s dress is a little bit crazy, but it’s totally her – floral print/leopard print mixture. The girls are all looking pretty, but it’s clear to me there was no dress code for this event. Everyone’s wearing totally different looks. Teddi’s look is my favorite – I feel like she’s the most appropriately dressed for a beach wedding.

Teddi tells us she is not having any drama today. “I can ruin a 50th birthday party, but a wedding!? Come on.” LMAO.

Meanwhile, Denise is still at her house, late for her own wedding. But she literally doesn’t care and is just going with the flow and I love it.

LVP arrives, and I’m honestly uncomfortable watching her make her rounds with the girls. Everyone is so fake in Beverly Hills. Those double cheek kisses kill me. I get it, it’s a wedding, and you’re all going to be polite and cordial, but it’s just so phony and gross. LVP playfully smacks Rinna’s ass, and Rinna tells us that she “doesn’t have any beef with LVP right now” (that’s weird – you’ve been out to get her all season, but you have no beef with her?) and that “LVP is obsessed with her.” Okay, I love Rinna, but come on – LVP is so far from obsessed with you. It might be the other way around.

Teddi catches wind that it’s past 2:00 PM, and that’s when the ceremony was supposed to start. I’m actually LOLing at Dorit – “Denise, you’re on her radar.” She calls Teddi the Punctuality Police.

At Denise’s house, she’s almost ready to go. One of her daughters can’t walk in her heels, and Denise is like, “Well, they’re Louboutin’s, so you have to figure it out.” Her daughter asks if she can wear sneakers, and Denise is literally like, “Yeah, I don’t give a shit, wear whatever you want.” I seriously love her. Denise Richards is a breath of fresh air.

Everyone at the wedding is freaking out that Denise is so late because they’re all sweating and melting, LMAO. Denise arrives shortly after, and everyone is totally relieved.

I love love love this wedding. I totally feel Denise when she says she doesn’t like being the center of attention, so she’s glad she’s walking down the aisle as a group. Sami and Lola go first (and yes, one of them, sorry, can’t remember which one, is in fact, wearing sneakers) and then Aaron, Denise & Eloise walk down the aisle and I’m crying.

Overall, the wedding is gorgeous. The ladies all got along, and Dorit feels like she and LVP are finally moving on and moving past all the dog drama. LVP, however, does not feel the same way. She was basically cordial because they were all at a wedding, but she actually feels like the girls owe her an apology, and she didn’t get one.

The wedding is over, and Dorit and PK are at home, getting ready for bed. Dorit’s on her phone, and she gasps at what she sees. There’s an article on Radar saying that LVP feels betrayed and stabbed in the back by friend Dorit Kemsley, after she dropped her dog off at a shelter. Dorit is appalled – “This is untrue!” She goes on to read more, and she’s convinced that Lisa is the one who leaked this story. She knows that Lisa has a relationship with Radar, and the article mentions that Lucy was a Chihuahua Mix, and only LVP and her team knew that. (I think anyone who saw the dog could have guessed Lucy’s breed, but that’s just my opinion.) The article also states that Lucy “nipped” at Dorit’s children, and PK points out that “nipped” is an English word. (We’re really reaching right now, you guys.)

While I do still believe Lisa set up Teddi to punish Dorit – I truly do not believe she leaked the article. I think if anyone did, it was probably someone from Vanderpump Dogs – I’m guessing John Sessa. I just don’t feel like LVP would need to. The story was already out there, going to Radar would be so unnecessary, and way too obvious. I do feel somewhat bad for Dorit – I don’t believe Dorit mistreated the dog, and I don’t believe she brought the animal to a kill shelter. But at the end of the day, literally none of this would have happened if Dorit followed the protocol of Vanderpump Dogs and brought Lucy back to them. End of story. It was so refreshing to not talk about Puppy Gate for majority of the episode, that I can’t even get into this anymore right now.

Next week looks explosive…it’s the scene we saw in the first episode, the massive fight between LVP and Kyle, when LVP kicks Kyle out of her house. (Literally all I can hear in my mind right now is Ronnie & Ben’s voices from the podcast Watch What Crappens yelling, “GOODBYE, KYLE!” in their Ken voice. If you don’t listen to them, you should. Also, they’re selling merch right now that says “Goodbye Kyle” on it, and I feel like I need to go shop on their site. Also, this is not an ad, I just truly love Watch What Crappens.)