kind of depressed…

I have been lurking the TTC / pregnancy boards for a week now. A little bit of story here: I have been married for a year but we have been living together for almost 3 years. We are really looking forward to have kids, but have never really taken a step forward (not actively seeking).

I dont know what happened to me these days, but I was pretty sure I was pregnant; no symptoms, no nothing, I just felt like I knew and after a week or so with this “feeling” I finally took a test today and it came out negative. The thing was that I was so sure, I am feeling really sad right now. I know that maybe it wasn’t even the right time -I just got promoted to a high responsibility position in my company and it would have put me in an awkward place with my CEO.- Also we have some trips already planned for this year and the next and we agreed that TTC for 2014 was our way to go… however… I just feel really really sad.

Also, there is the thing that I have policystic ovaries and this situation just heightened my fears of not being able to conceive.

Then, my husband is on a business trip and we just had a naughty argument over the phone.

@eclipse: I’m really sorry you’re struggling. I don’t know if I missed this but you said you weren’t trying utnil 2014, but you thought you might be pregnant. Does that mean because of your PCOS you don’t use any birth control (sorry that’s invasive). Also how many dpo are you, do you know? I know how it feels to be waiting and to feel ready. It’s hard for a woman sometimes. I think that whether we like it or not, hormonally we really do go through periods of really wanting the baby, even when the timing isn’t right.

I’m sorry this wasn’t the time for you. I think we all have fears that we won’t be able to conceive, since most of us have been preventing pregnancy our whole adult lives. I was freaking out two months into trying, thinking I was infertile. There’s no way to know, but think happy thoughts and try not to let it consume you. Good luck!

@ZoeyGirl: This. And now you know how much creating a family means to you. I felt the same way as you a year ago when I thought DH and I might be pregnant. We weren’t planning it, but I still got so upset when it turned out negative. Here we are, a year later, and we’re trying for a baby. Even though I’ve been wanting to TTC ever since our negative, now really seems like the best timing, and the year we talked about trying really did go fast in retrospect.

When I’m feeling down, I look for the good in the situation and consume myself with it. There is good everywhere, it’s just hard to find it sometimes.

@Mrs.Maeby: I really dont know how many dpo I am, since I been off my hormone control (for the PCOS) for a couple of months. I know that this has a lot to do with me having the “feeling” since when I’m on hormones Im super regular and currently I have no idea. But yes

@ZoeyGirl: Thank you. I think you are right about the fertility. The thing is that my Obgyn has told me that I will most likely need a minor surgery to remove a big cyst before conceiving. This kind of freaks me out and I was hoping I could avoid it.

@FutureMrs.Wood: Thanks. You are so right about realising how much this means to me. I know a year from now will be a better moment. And good vibes to you to in your TTC!

awe hon I feel your pain, I was hoping for the same this time around!!! Keep your head up! I tested 3 days before my cycle today and it came out negative and I’m feeling the same….very depressed. Now I have a cramping feeling all morning like my cycle is coming. 🙁 I don’t understand it. I already don’t know when I’m ovalating, (Trying to figure out when I do). At work and could cry at any second… 🙁