>You are Anonymous McMoot>Nearly a year ago, your whole life was a ruin>Your parents were shit>Your only friend turned out to be hanging with you out of pity and confusion>You were alone>Weak>Unworthy of being anything else>Now you've got something more than most people even dream of

>A mom>Even if she is a sentient magical force of nature from another reality

>A home>Even if it's a flying castle also from another universe that's entirely devoid of all living things

>You had to really grind to get here>Fight not only monsters>Sorcerers>Nightmares>You learned the universe>All universes>Were created and controlled to some degree>By "Fate">You learned your place in this universe>Or what it used to be

Fate wanted you to dieTo fade away without a whisper

>So you said "No u">Now fate's dead and there's no god>Thanks again, Dark Sorcery>The Universe is free>Your destiny has become your own and no one elses>So you decided>To make your life the greatest it could be

>The guys who robbed you didn't pull off the job clean>You got one of their corpses thanks to a pal>Who made the corpse>By killing him

>You intended to resurrect him and interrogate the bastard>Before you could however his partner showed up, and essentially gang pressed you into the returning the body So you stole his immortal soul to interrogate later. The canvas is getting too full.

>You however have only one lead on where these goons came from>The Lizard>You know a Lizard>One>Lizard

>Toffee>A grey skinned, mostly chill dude>Helped you not die when you face dived into a castle>After getting shot up by the government>Why would he send goons after you?>Are there other lizards?

L: "If there were.">Luna places the stirring spoon for her tea on her tongue>She closes her tiny mouth around the steaming hot metal without breaking eye contact>She doesn't even speak the words she wants to impart>Choosing instead to whisper them into your mind >L: "They couldn't be trusted either."

TWO MAJOR CHOICES/DISCUSSIONS MUST BE HAD

>What is your empire going to do about money?-Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)-Mine Mine MINE (Plunder the earth and ancient places. Risks your army, but the dead don't have living expenses)

>What about the Lizard?-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)-Shake down other Monsters (You've got the goons, somebody in the underbelly of Mewni has to know something)

>Luna has been having a problem>One that is seriously wigging you out>She has forgotten things>Bigly things>Some of her most powerful magics are missing>She says someone must have tampered with the book her soul used to occupy>You've already decided you're going to see Glossaryck>The weird blue man that teaches your greatest magical rival

>Star fucking Butterfly>You cringe thinking her name>You cringe harder thinking about the fact you totally bullshitted your old best friend>Who is now -her- best friend>Marco Diaz>You mutilated his butt>Embarrassed him in front of his new Space Princess bestie>Then claimed you did it -mark- him>You can feel something deep in your guts>A wiggly kind of disquietA: "Is that gas?"L: "It's guilt, darling."A: "I hate it."L: "It's not all bad. It means you still have conscience."A: "Do I need a conscience?"L: "I'm not sure it can be surgically removed."A: "Not yet, anyways."

>OR

>Will you tackle one of the other big issues first?

>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEK

-Missing Magic>Luna's lost spells could be huge boons to your efforts>The Power to resurrect the Dead>The Power to create Vessels to trap souls>To travel not just travel between dimensions in the same reality, but entire different realms>Glossaryck was the last one to touch the book>He has to know something

-WAR PLANET OF LOOZAR>Your tech expert, Wondervon used to have a grand laboratory>He's fixed up the castle to be semi-livable>Without his old set up and tools however he is crippled (or building from square 0)>The issue is that the world this lab was on has been CONQUERED BY SPACE GLADIATORS>They've built an arena on top of his old Lab>Conquering this arena could certainly hold great rewards

-The Forest's Toll>Your friend, Janna has been learning some magic from a Salem Witch named "Martha">Janna's driven and determined, but she's hit a wall>Humans don't have their own magic power>They have to borrow or siphon it from other sources>Martha's and by extension Janna's is a Patron deity called "The Horned Man">He wants something from Janna>Something you suspect might be sinister>He might even want to take advantage of her desires>To satiate his own>Can you suffer the presence of another creature deigning what your friend owes him?

First off we're doing forest's troll. As much as I infinitely want to go and give that Blue Bugger Glossaryck a piece of my mind, he'll still be there in a week. Janna might not. She has a potential time limit and glossy doesn't. We need to solve it now.

As for the micro problems.

Bow clearly has bugs, get him a monkey to pick them out for him. They're good at that.

We need to obviously hack Echocreekcronicals.com and find out the true identity of who's running it.

Go to Throne's R Us and get something super comfy, a recliner of some kind. With cup holders.

Fucking, bust that coffin open! RIP it open ourselves! Simple! Or just get a crowbar and have bow lay on the other end of it.

>>2524339>>2524296Oh, as for those two other things. Why don't we just do them all? Start a real economy, still get some income from our universal winnings, while also having our skelebois plunder earth ruins?

And why don't we just ask Hek and the rangers if they know what's up while our bois shake down goons? I don't see why they gotta be mutually exclusive.

>What is your empire going to do about money?-Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)We Barbarian King now, fuck dealing with economy spreadsheets

>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEK-The Forest's TollFriends come first

>Bow is still scratching a lotAsk Star if there's anyone in Mewni who can treat swamp drakes>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from school>People have started to talk because of themREAD THEM, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ADD TO THE SPANK BANK>You do not have a throne in your throne room>Just a bean bag chair and a big screen TVSolution, upgrade to a big PLASMA screen TV and add a table for snacks and drinks with some extra seats. LAN parties anyone?>The skeletons tell you they found someone special when they were sent corpse raiding>It is sealed, however>In a solid iron coffin covered in chains and full of welded anglesDeal with this later>GUILT AND CONSCIENCEI really hope we can deal with Anon and Marco sometime soon. I want them to be friends again.

>>2524371>They have to have Vets or something right?They hunt Swamp Drakes as rites of passage and Star was disgusted by the thought of having one as a pet. I don't think any vet's gonna be able to treat him. Even then, mewman doctor's suck.

>What is your empire going to do about money?>Operation Gimme the LootWe need a steady supply of materials. That means we need a mine. Wondervon is a galaxy class master in mining, but he needs tools. We also need skelebois. This presents an opportunity. We put Wondervon in charge of a crew of boys, dressed up to appear as mortal beings with Susan to oversee it and keep tabs on wondervon. We allow him use of the squad to gather earth level tools, equipment, materials to get our tech up. Give him a starting budget of $5K but he can loot the rest. Minimal deaths and collateral damage. Slower is preferable to loud. Have him focus on getting tools for mining, power and a location for raw material. South American Jungle, Yukon, Africa. Various locals where we can work remote without harassment.

>What about the Lizard?>An invitation to Tea

Shake down the monsters but more to send a message to Toffee that we are inviting him to talk. Mob boss to Mob boss. Also make sure we put our ear to the ground for information about Ludo. We can figure out what to do about it later after we find out some more intel and see if our invitation gets a response. Leave a skeleboi somewhere out in the swamps as a literal dead-drop.

Missing Magic BUT, send a text to Janna telling her that there is no rush on the path to power and that she has Psionic potential as well. We aren’t telling her what to do, but we want our star rogue to be at peace with her decisions.

>HOW DO YOU RESOLVE (or do you) THE FOLLOWING CONCERNS

>Bow is still scratching a lot>His leaves are falling off

Bow needs to be seen by a mewni vet, or someone with experience handling wild game like Drakes. Star’s father might be an excellent resource and an inroad to both getting bow Treated and meeting with Moon on the MHC. Ask Star if she knows anyone that can help with our sick son. She will be moved by our sad face.

>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from school>People have started to talk because of them

Ignore the people whispering rumours. Any reaction against it will just make it worse. We are a king, the murmurings of peasants is beneath us. We do need to find out who is stalking us. Post a single fanfiction on the website. “Anon and the midnight stranger. Write a shitty story about us meeting our stalker by the mens room at midnight on whenever. End chapter one with McMoot waiting to tell the author the real secrets of Echo Creek. Leave them hanging so they meet us there.

>You do not have a throne in your throne room>Just a bean bag chair and a big screen TV

Spend 2 grand on shitty leftover meat, like tons of minced up bone and flesh used as cheap cattle feed. Use Meat is Mortar to turn it all into bone and leather furnishings.

>The skeletons tell you they found someone special when they were sent corpse raiding>It is sealed, however>In a solid iron coffin covered in chains and full of welded angles

Save this one for last, gather our contingent of bois and Susan. Open the casket inside a cage and prepare for a fight.

>>2524306>Adventure King + Seek living Subjects I want a kingdom of pirates and warriors to go throughout the multiverse and plunder in the name of their King and Godmother.

>Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo)>Missing Magic>Go to Mewni to get something to help Bow>Go to the cheerleader girl we talked to that one time to help with the fanfiction>Just do what Luna said and get a fucking sofa>Open the fucking box(Iron Coffin)

>>2524437What the fuck are you on about? Bow is a Mewman animal, one they spend alot if time hunting. They wouldn't be so ignorant of such a well known beast of their lands.Him being born on earth has shit to do with anything, and if it does, the mewman would be the most qualified people to confirm as such.

>>2524456Bow is a mewman animal, but he's lived all his life on earth. Meaning he has earth bugs. We know he has bugs because we literally saw them at the start of the season.

Also mewggers are the worst in health care for other mewggers, so I don't see why they'd know anything about what's going on with Bow considering all they do is hunt Swamp Drakes as a rite of passage. They'd probably say "I dunno what's wrong with him, let's try putting him in the catapult to see what happens."

>>2524469We don't know what he has, your making assumptions.And even the most basic piss baby hunter gathers know shit about the things they hunt, especially when it comes to cultural/ritual hunting.The best thing to is just ask, and start from there instead of assuming we know what's wrong and making shit worse.

>>2524494>Bow lands on his back, sending crickets and frogs scattering from his foliage>They flee not too far before heading backA: "Damn parasites."L: "Better they stay on him than become an invasive progenitor species."A: "I -guess-."

>>2524306>-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)the more people we get, the more powerful our empire ,and by extension Anon, gets>-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)Hek is on the HMC, so she knows shit.>-The Forest's TollDon't fuck the goat Janna>You do not have a throne in your throne roomFIX THIS FUCKING NOW

>>2524306>What is your empire going to do about money?-Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)This undead domain isn't too conducive to starting a burgeoning economy. And risking the Army when we could eventually be using that to find lands worth having a real economy in seems short sighted. Unfortunately, gotta rely on ourselves for now.

>What about the Lizard?-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)Hunting and bounties on Monsters is kind of a Mewni specialty. And given time as a valuable resource, deferring to others' knowledge seems the most economical.

>BIG ENCOUNTER-Missing MagicJanna seemed to tell us off pretty hard last time. Butting in would be just like us... but if Janna's being snippy directly with us, perhaps an intermediary is a better way to Assist. perhaps Jackie can lend a hand? She's wanted some action too... she's friends with Janna too. And if coming to the aide of friends is a priority, I can't help but believe Luna fills the number one slot in that priority list.

>Bows ItchyWhen he was still in the egg, we were able to communicate through images and feelings. Maybe bow himself can tell us what's bothering him? Outside of that, giving your pets proper baths and grooming is an aspect of maintenance that seems fairly typical, though for a plant covered creature like Bow, a controlled burn of excess shrubbery (and possible parasitic creatures?) Might be necessary

>ThroneLow priority. And fuck it, it's comfy right. The only subjects we see right now are our undead constructs and minions. We haven't grown to the point of earning a more qualified throne room. Feels almost like CIV 1.

>CoffinCheck for markings? If we got time to deal with it, bust it open. If not, get Wondervon to look into opening it.

>>2524296>>2524300>>2524306>EconomyAll three. The planet that currently belongs to Loozar will be the perfect place to gather living subjects and to mine once we take over. I propose we do so militarily and not through their customs. Killing our way to the top seems easy enough, but once we do that, we'll have a swarm of other foreigners looking to kill us for an easy kingdom. With all previous lieutenants dead, they'll all have a straight shot at us, meaning we'll have to defend the throne constantly until we can find replacements.

>The LizardContact our known sources while Susan takes some men to shake down swamp monsters. Have her bring back some alive.

>>2524296>What is your empire going to do about money?Adventurer king, but also send some skeletons out with Wonderbread, and Susan supervising, to somewhere nice and remote and do some mining. We barely ever call on the skele nous anyways, may as well have them make some money rather then just sit around on their hands at home.>What about the Lizard?Toffee’s annoying, but we have other issues right now, so >Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)Won’t inconvenience us to much, and has a decent chance of success.>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEK>The Forest’s TollConquering a war planet or recovering our spells is nice, but we’re on a bit more of a timer with Janna, so best to solve that first.

>>2524306Oh yes, and for the throne.>Our throne shall be the mightiest of beanbags, lined in gold, and of unparalleled softness and size. We shall look forth commandingly over our subject surrounded by the greatest of comforts, as befits the conquering king of the universe.

>What is your empire going to do about money?Mine mine MINE!! I mean, We Been doing adventure King this whole time, and we still will be going to do that, but a nice, stead source of resources sound nice. Delegation is the key to be a good leader. Also, our army is relatively useless in a fight when we are present. Let them mine, resurrect them if they die, and call Star/Janna and Jackie if is something we cant handle by ourselves.

>>What about the Lizard?Seek Intel. It is better a lot of people looking around for us, especially if they already know the multiverse them us, them we looking around for some info. Also we will inevitably cross paths with the enemy goons anyway, so why waste our time?

>>Big Quest of The WeekThe Forest Toll.All of the quest are important, but Janna seens the one that is the more concerning in short term. I mean if the girl want to fuck the goat, let her, but if him want to eat her soul rather them her ass, we should intervene, even if she get pissed at us.

>>Bow ScratchingStar i guess? Or Hekapoo. Heck even the nice Officer we met when we got the scales for our armor. If no one of them can help, we look for a magic vet, probably at Quest Mart.

>>The Gay fiction~~Make it real~~. Ask to the bros to seek the one who is releasing those, and them mind read the suspects. Or even set a bait, like going out with Justin to see who follow us.

>>ThroneShit if I know. Maybe we can go to Fifi dimension and see if we can make a commission. Or maybe steal a throne.

>>SkellyBoiz and The Mistery Of The CoffinAsk Mommy to teach us a spell to see through. Eventually use it to see other people ~~and Marco delicious crippled~~ butt.

>>2524306>>2524756>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from schoolLook to the original post dates. When did this all start happening, and were there any events around that time that would have caused a particular student to want to guerilla warfare our reputation?Any chance to go thought police while at school? If they keep producing, it sounds like something the perpetrator constantly think about, bcc beyond surface thoughts. If not us... maybe Sab and her skills could be used? Sounds like a good mini-training exercise for her...She seems interested in the topic overall... and if she "doesn't believe them", maybe she'd be willing to help us try and get it to stop?

>>2525086They could be bashing our reputation, true, or they could just have a disturbing obsession with us that involves writing a lot of disturbing fan fiction. I think I’d prefer the former, really.

If you have a different idea on what to do or how to solve a situation you can suggest it, and see if others support it. You don't have to restrict yourself by picking just one option, though you have to figure out a way in which we can implement them all of which you pick with the time we got.

Alright, we ought to first focus on ADVENTURE KING for right now, but with an eye in the future towards SEEK LIVING SUBJECTS. I'm open to being convinced, but I don't think we could properly keep our subjects safe if we're getting our shit pushed in by two-timing bank robbers.

Next, get some intel on the Lizard. We haven't seen Hekapoo in a hekaminute, so we should used this opportunity to also catch up with her and look into some sweet, sweet quest hooks. The rangers also seem like the kind of people who have their ears to the ground on Mewni. Additionally, ask both Hekapoo and the ranger bros for advice on what to do with Bow.

Speaking of Bow, I also like >>2524756 's idea about trying to communicate with Bow mentally to see what the problem is.

For the big dick encounter, let's do MISSING MAGIC, as the whole missing spells situation is some high-grade bullshit. I understand the concern about Janna, which is why I'd suggest we really try to take her along with us. Maybe we can solve two birds with one stone? Impart some wisdom from Luna? I also really hope that the war planet stays open in the future, as I really want to utilize Wondervon in helping to create bad-ass army, flowing into being able to find and protect subjects.

For the other small issues:I don't know, team up with Jackie to get the bottom of the fanfiction during the week. Can likely get some info from Sabrina, so try to meet up with her ass well.

My dude, just find and take the best sofa in all the multiverse. Hekapoo, looking you for some help here...

Get Wondervon to investigate the coffin, but don't crack that shit open yet. See what Luna thinks and wait until after the end-of-week encounter to unseal it. Could be a fight at hand, so be prepared.

>>2525381Uhm. Well, In that case, i Think we should just focus on Janna. Also ask Mother about alternate power sources for humans. Maybe not outright give it to Janna, since her main gripe is her achieving things on her own, but at least giving her a direction and leading a hand. Heck, maybe a one-thread spin-off with her and Jackie in a adventure.

Other than that, and it could happen in paralel, we should focus on fortifying the castle. It is something we should do before we are taken by suprise in a invasion.

>>2524306>-Mine Mine MINE>-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)>-The Forest's Toll>-Try to find out more about raising a swamp drake>-Ask Sabrina about the fuckfiction>-Send skellies to find a MASSIVE GEMSTONE to carve a throne out of>-Check on this spoopy coffin

>>2524306>EconomyI'd say all three... But we may as well start with mining, as it's the most accessible resource we have atm. Those earnings should help kickstart a real economy in the future. We could even start a simple business utilizing our undead labor to cut lawns n' shit in the town? Just dress em up a bit and make it a "themed" service.

>The LizardWe stick to our trusted sources who know what not to ask about. We want to ask about the lizard without the lizard knowing we know about him funding mercs. Shaking down in Mewni will send ripples straight to his ears. May as well make him work for his information than throw it at him.

>Big EncounterTroll is the most pressing atm. We don't act on it now, and she might dig herself deeper into some shit.

>BowProbably just ask Star or a Mewni contact. This most likely has to do with the fact his kind lives off sunlight and he lives on a dead world without it.

>GaynonNot particularly important, but could probably ask Alfonzo to figure out what's going on for a favor of similar magnitude in the future. Finding out who's writing shitty fanfiction isn't equivalent to beatdowns or anything, and shouldn't take him too much effort.

>ThroneLets just grab a sofa-chair for now until we find something useful

>CoffinWondervon prob has some scanning equipment we can use. Chains and welding implies that the thing raised concerns of it coming out of the coffin at one time in the far past... unless he was just a metal rocker or something. Seeing inside there is probably just as important as establishing contact to if it's alive

>>2525551>This most likely has to do with the fact his kind lives off sunlight and he lives on a dead world without it.

What is it with this sudden idea that Bow's not getting enough sunlight because he lives on Mewmus when we all explicitly voted on having him spend his time on earth which turned him into a bush.

>Where has Bow been most of the time?

>Allowed to roam the DARK WORLD Mewmus

>Kept inside the Castle

>Allowed to play on Earth

He has been getting his vitamin D, he has been getting his plant life and he's addapted because of it. If he spent tons of time in THE HOLE he'd look a lot more metal and wouldn't even be itchy because of it. He'd just need to eat more meat.

>Saturday starts early>Mainly because you don't sleepL: "You should get your rest, darling."A: "I know I should.">You curl both knees up to your chest>Lay your head down on Luna's lap>Man>Full sized Luna sure has a lot of lapA: "I can't."L: "You could try.">The doting sours you a littleA: "I won't.">Luna clicks her tongue against her teethL: "So brash.">You snuggle further downA: "Too much to do. I need to think. I have to be ready. I have to know what to do.">Your fretting quiets down after a while>You fade into something like sleep>A grappling match with your loose pillows and sheets>A Fitful, slobber and sweat covered sauna session>Your eyes open when your guts finally get the nerve to demand food>Luna's still there>She's tiny again however>Perched at the top of the bean bag throne you nested in>Still entirely awake>Your eyes and hers stay connected for a half dozen deep, chest filling breaths>You don't need to communicate out loud that much anymore>Although a few things become obvious>She let you not sleep>She didn't even use that passivity spellA: "Still wanna have fun today?">You grate through mucus and inflammationL: "We'll be together.">Luna waves her hand>Turning her hat into a domed leather helmet>Her eyes vanish behind a set of mirrored black goggles>Because she knew you wanted to ride your bikeL: "The fun is assured."

>BRAOOOHHHhmm!!!>There's a trance you discover out there>On the roads>This bike was built to on the fly to chase down a hell train in purgatory>The remnants of that old steam driven monster built the bones of your castle's creature comforts>You used to smile when you thought about that day>Now you're grim>Dead set>Determined>Without sleep the world is easier to process however>The bright orange sun that blooms on the horizon burns only slightly>You're more aware of the cool morning air across your arms and chest>Of the way your rib-cage high back seat shakes as you accelerate and stop>Nobody else is on the highways>Only a few cars pass on the cliffside roads>When you hit the ocean-boulevard is when you finally get the chance

>BRRRAAHAHHHMMMAMAMAMAMAMAM>To open her the hell upA: "Ha...">Your hair whips like auburn fire>You have to clench your lips to keep them from flapping out like a bloodhound's jowls>You stand up with your hands on the front of the bike>Leaning into the wind>The next corner comes and you barely make it through>Your ear almost touches the pavement when you slide>It's perfectA: "It's all perfect.">You look out at the water on the next straight-away>At the sun just escaping the edge of the ocean where it slept>Luna's on your shoulder>With one hand wrapped in your side-burnL: "Today we'll be exactly what we make of it.">Good>You'll fill it to the brim>You'll stuff it til it breaks>This world has kept joy from you too long>Teased you with happiness>No more>You're free now>Free to seek joy>Free to take happiness>You want it all>Some is not enough>You want what's yours>...and revenge for the joy that life dared deny you.

>You feel alive>Also like dogshit>You stop for an energy drink>Then take a nap right afterward>Laid against your bike right at the beach's border>Your heart nearly beats out of your chest in your sleep>7/10 not bad for a rough evening

>Later on>Closer to Noon>You're alone in the castle>Well>As alone as you think you get>You pace back and forth in your bedroom>Muscles is in the corner>Lifting Bow for his gains>Luna is downstairs somewhere>You can feel her cooking>Just as she can feel you >Euugh>She's really feeling you

L: "Need something?">Your brain is itchy>Your foot won't stop bouncing>Muscles puts Bow down to look at you>Because you seem like you're tweaking>Which is fair>Because you've just come to the realization>That you haven't fapped in almost a year

>A: "Hey uh. Mom?">L: "Yes?">A: "So our uh...psychic connection.">L: "The very manifestation of our unbreakable bond.">A: "Y-yeah that. So could we uh...like...close it?">L: "Close it?">A: "Like. Could you uh...close your third eye? Or-...something.">L: "No.">A: "N-no?">L: "That isn't how that works, dear. We're both psionic. I due to my presence as a spiritual and magic force. You due to the awakened nature of your neurological processes.">A: "So I just-">L: "We're open books now, you and I.">A: "Oh god.">L: "Two bright stars that no wall or barricade can keep apart.">A: "I'm gonna die from this.">L: "From what?"

>You grab Muscles' wrist>Drag him to the door>Yes>You drag your own right arm by the wrist>He squirms like a salmon sized earth worm>Bow follows as you call>You reward him by pushing his butt out the door too>WHAM!>You close the door to keep your right hand from getting back in

A: "Yep. My elbow's broken.">No time for that>You fumble with your belt>You were a righty before>Maybe if you're fas-

L: "I see you."A: "AH!">You look around the room>Eyes wide>Mind frantic from lack of sleep and repressed sexual deviancy

>Jackie's swimsuit pictures>Janna's hair fresh out of her hat>Sabrina's armpits>It's all in your head>Driving you mad

>Your sweat>Clench your teeth>Reach for your pants to pull them back up

L: "I didn't say you had to stop."A: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

>>2525915.....You know what, we might as well just accept it and ask muscles to do a solid and make a mouth to use. At this point we might as well go all in on the degeneracy, what with our mother never not watching us fap

>After an hour or so you come to terms with the fact you'll never be alone again>Still you crave some proper company>Not just presences>You need an embrace>You need peace>Peace

A: "Jackie."https://youtu.be/Z9e7K6Hx_rY?list=RDMMZ9e7K6Hx_rY

>SHHRRRIIIIp!>Even if she was just your mind's idolatrous focus for the past couple of hours>Jackie -does- things to you>Her voice shuts out the ones that bounce in between your ears>Her hands stop your nerves from burning>You caught a quick shower>Snagged a coffee from that gas station/middle eastern food joint>Got a twisted blue-berry powerade for your girl and hit the spot she was most likely to be>The Skatepark

L: "Hm. Her not being in a usual haunt is unusual. The girl loves structure. Normalcy."A: "That's not true. She's an explorer."L: "She's always over prepared and announces her explorations."A: "So?"L: "So it's more like a planned expedition then, isn't it?"

A: "Jackie! Hey! JACKIE!?">Your voice cracks a couple times>Not sleeping has left your throat hoarse>The energy drinks did not help

Y: "Oh hey.">Wh-Y: "It's that guy that keeps following you.">WHAT!?>It's her>That girl>The smug one>With the Afro>...and the bright gold sweater>Jackie laughs at her comment>You see red>Tunnels>Shallow graves>A set of pliers rammed point-first into a certain white gauged ear

J: "Yellow, you've met Anon right?"Y: "All I know is he doesn't let you get away with nothin'."J: "Anon, c'mon. Can you get out of there alri-">You slap Muscles down and activate Starwalk>As a result, you essentially rocket out of the bowl>Then float down, hoodie and cloak billowing>Jackie grabs your hands and pulls you down to earthJ: "Showoff."Y: "So. Do you never take that thing off or~ ?"A: "It's my cloak."Y: "Oh my gooahd are you like...one of the Pottermoore fanatics?"

>You don't read situations well>You tend to fly off the handle>Which is exactly why you're not slapping this stranger alreadyA: "I own a castle.">You are howeverA: "...and I'm here cause I want to show my girlfriend my castle.">Flexin'

Y: "What world is this boy livin' in, Blue?"A: "Blue?"J: "Anon's got his own style, Yellow.">The sweatered one smirksY: "He's got his head up his ass.">Muscles informs you he is certain he could fit the girl's head in HER ass>You pat him down

>Jackie seems to be doing the same to her...friend?J: "Don't push it. He's also got a way of growing on you if you're cool."Y: "If -I'm- cool?"A: "What a world that would be.">You notice her lack of boardA: "You don't skate. Why are you here?">Yellow raises a brow at your comment>Then power spins>Before clacking her heelies togetherY: "I'm here to style on broke bois.">She twirls one more time>Poses>Looks you in the eyeY: "Check."

>You fume for a second before Jackie grabs your shouldersJ: "Heyeheyeh.">She draws your forehead to hersJ: "Right here.">When you get back to her you're a bit embarassedA: "I wanna yank her guts out."J: "Murder one of my friends out of jealousy and I'll break up with you. I think that's fair diplomacy, don't you?">How is she ok with the way you work?>You look up at LunaA: "Told you she was adventurous."J: "I'mma go."Y: "Aww, boo. Don't let walkin' the dog get in the way of a good time."J: "I'll catch you later, Yellow. How's tomorrow for you?">Yellow rolls her neckY: "I might be busy."J: "Well, I hope you're not.">Jackie grinsJ: "Nobody else can keep up with me in the pipe. I need some more practice.">You've seen enough

>Once you get her to the castle>Shut off from all the stupid distractions>Things work out>You can finally get that peace you needJ: "Whoahhh! Dood!">If Jackie would just stop screamingJ: "It's huge! So much space to work with a-">She opens every door you pass>Pokes in her head>One of them slams itself shut and growlsJ: "Feisty."B: "Barofh! BORK! BArk!"J: "Bow?">Your drake nearly throws the two of you over>He can't decide which face to lick>You both get covered in healthy grass

>Later on you catch Wondervon watching from the basementA: "Hey.">SLAM goes the dungeon door>You open it back upA: "You can uh...you can come meet Jackie if you want."W: "..."A: "I'm not -ashamed- of you or anything."

>Jackie takes to him wellJ: "So like...are you a hyper evolved mole from the future orr?"W: "My people are called Siltoids."J: "Siltoids. Like the dirt?"W: "Ya."J: "I love how dumb the Multiverse is."W: "Vow, rude. Zat vasn't an invitation to be racist, you vapid little Strumpet."J: "Didn't you try to kill my boyfriend but ended up being his science slave?"W: "W-well ya but vee ver"J: "buh-buh-buh Bitcht mode."W: "Vell I nEvar!"

>After grinding down the main staircase>Making sure your fridge doesn't electrocute people visiting for pizza rolls>You and Jackie both realize

J: "There's not much to -do- here.">Huh>She's right>Empty world is emptyJ: "Bet you could throw some wicked parties in here though.">People>In YOUR dark fortress?A: "Never."J: "I bet you used to say that about -all- human interaction."A: "Used to?"

>Jackie gets you convinced you need some more sun>So after a ponder or two>You leash up your Drake>Mount your gf on his back>Then ride>Specifically to the nearby dog park

cont

>Bow's itching only seems to be localized on his bush-like foliage>It drives him nuts seemingly at random>The big green beasty spends any moment not scratching in pure rapture>You and Jackie both get to watch him bound along with normal earth dogs>Much to the horror of certain soccer moms>A child comes up to Bow and reaches for his horns>Bow does not notice the child's weight as his attention is grabbed by a dog humping someone's prosthetic leg

C: "WEEE!"SM: "JAYNON! NO!">Bow stole the leg>Ate the dog>You had to portal inside of him to retrieve it>Ungrateful little asshole bit you>So you fed him back to your living BushA: "See that kids?">The children only know screamingA: "That's Hubris."

>After litigating at the park>With a few death threats>Jackie calming people in regards to your death threats>A walk on the beach with your doggo and lady>A cheeky smoochJ: "If you'd just chill out, Anon."A: "I can chill.">Jackie takes your face in her hands>Her favorite pose with youJ: "Show me, and I'll probably never get tired of you.">He smirksJ: "MMmmbut I can sure make you pretty tired."A: "I'm -always- tired."J: "Mood killed. Date over. You big spiky doof.">Jackie smooched you some more>Muscles liked the palm ones>You smooched her back>Found out Jackie has sensitive cheeks>Because you bit herA: "I really gotta control myself."L: "What's a love bite or two between two hellion youths?"A: "Grounds for assault charges."L: "You cannot be put in jail if the society seeking to jail you can't catch you."A: "Mom."L: "The police are -not- strong enough."A: "Mama pls"

>You are alone now>Restless in your castle>Bow tried to eat the beach life guard because he was like 5'1" and kind of furry>So you've punished him with a night locked out of your bedroom or the skeleton's barracks>Nothing to cuddle>No one to chew on>Fresh hell

A: "I'm still pent up.">You're exaughsted>Worn down to the bone>You barely slept>This day has been so full of goodness>Yet still>Your skull is abuzz>Your breath short>Your muscles won't relax>You roll onto your stomach>Open your phone>Tap your usually neglected Headbook App>The first post you see

>IMAGE POST FROM JUSTIN ARMBERG>A picture of a squat rack>PHAT with plates>4 on each side to be exact>The overlay caption reads

"PR2D2 weboutta do dis"

A: "Justin...">You mull over if you could re-attach a snapped spine>You prepare to comment "Snab City">Then pause>Muscles pulls away from the phone>Looks you in the eye with his finger tipsA: "Huh...yeah.">He has a good point>You could use a good sweat>You comment "Want a Spotter?"

>Justin calls you back in 2 minutes flatJu: "Brahj!">He's pantingJu: "I'm at the school gym. Coach gave me the keys."A: "Has Moob already stashed beer in it?"Ju: "Haha, how fast can you get here?">Which is when your portal opens up>Out you step in all your sleep deprived gloryA: "I wanna lift things.">You flex>Well>Muscles flexes>He can't get tired>You kind of just pose>While your body sags in placeA: "Then put them DOWN!"Ju: "You gonna lift in jeans?"A: "YYYyyyeehhhhhhsss?"Ju: "Hardcore. Let's rock!"

https://youtu.be/ashe_4phX_Y

>You've never even heard of most of these exercisesJu: "Chest flies!"A: "Is that a disease!?"Ju: "No but it'll make you SIHHhhK!"

>Every exercise is a new hellJu: "Time for those PULL DOWNS! I even struggle with these."A: "So it's ok if I just-"Ju: "No, you can't just pull the rope.">You pull 15 pounds more than the rope>20 times>Then fall off the machine

>Justin drops from the wide-grip pull-up bar>Sets the machine to 65lb>Then pounds out 25 repsA: "Fuck my life."Ju: "No quit."A: "Is your dialogue mispelled or did you just turn into a caveman?"Ju: "NO. QUIT. IN. ME.">Justin proceeds to smash all of his lifts>He spots you on most of yoursA: "Justin...help!"Ju: "Not on this one, Anondo.">He kneels down to your quivering kneesJu: "A man and his deadlift weight are sacred.">He pats the bar loaded up with more plates than you've even eaten off of>A whole 3 10 pounders on each sideJu: "This is allll you."A: "It's two of me."Ju: "Anon."A: "I'm out numbered by it."Ju: "Dude. Come on. You've slung guys who weigh three times this."A: "No.">You point to MusclesA: "HE has.">Muscles nods his wrist at JustinA: "Look.">You let Muscles loose>He picks up the bar and twirls it like a batonJu: "That...isn't how bodies work."A: "Don't fat shame me, bro."Ju: "You're skinnyfat tho."A: "Bro."Ju: "That's one step from ottermode! You're almost perfected."A: "My mom thinks I'm fine as I am.">Justin drapes an arm over you and ya boi>Ya right hand manJu: "Your mommy's not here, my dude.">You gaspA: "What!?">Justin has to stop you from yanking your pants down in delerium>He explains his metaphor as best as someone who doesn't know exactly what a metaphor is can>You calm down>Hit the Dead lift 1 time>Then passed out

>Eventually you awaken>Justin's handing you his water bottleJu: "Good hustle, my dude."A: "Am I swole yet?"Ju: "Haha, what? Anon. You did one fourth of a workout."A: "ONE FOURTH!?"Ju: "Maybe if you take a split for three days a week. In a couple month-">You left before Justin finished his sentence>Portaled home>Ate seventeen bags of chips>Then slept for 13 hours

>>2524296>Empire Funds-Seek Living Subject+Adventure KingThe first one is finding the resource that keeps giving, the other can be used as needed if we happen to find some wonderful shinies.

>Lizards and YouShould check in and touch base with some of allies Hekapoo would be a good start for one.

>The Forest's TollYeaaaah, no we are not having Janna yo manna bo Banna get fucked by goat dude, literally in this case, though I feel like we need to 'TALK' with Janna about why we are concerned. She can go through with it if she feels like it, but man oh man does it seem like a really bad deal.

>>2524306Resolving the Small Things in life>Bow Talk to them Ranger dudes maybe they have a zoology thing, or pending that get that boi a flea collar.

>PAST SINS II: ANONXMARCOXTOMThis needs to be burnt or at least just answered in a way that plays off us well, I was thinking simply reading some of it and just giving it honest critic reviews, if someone WANTS to write these things, then by gawd at least write it well!

>Thrones for GodsI'm actually chill with a beanbag chair and swanky tv for our throne room.

>Special Surprise InsideOk Time to see if we just found Alucard, cuz iff its the crimson fuckers there be some fuckery going on here, see if there is anything else to note on the coffin or not and if there isn't use some MAJIKS to try looking inside can't be that hard right?

>>2524306>big encounterI would go with war planet, but only just to get the tools, not to conquer the coloseam of gladiators, as soon as we get the tools the next best one to do would be the missing magic because it lets us do more things in the future, plus I don't think we talked to glosaryck in a long time.

>bow scratchingsee if questbuy has a veternarean sservice or take bow to one that will see him.>fanfictionIf you or anyone talks about it that makes you gay because you read it because you were interested about two people of the same sex having coitus.Miss me with that gay shit.

>no throne roomnot important yet, keep the bean bag and tv for a chill throne

>coffinhave them bring it to the castle for storage

>money problemmining,invest some human or other currency money into long-term investments from earth,mewni or questbuy and collect the interest.

>LizardI feel like anon would go to the goons instead of known sources because he's a bad dood, plus it's easy as we can just ask anyone we beat up about him.

>>What is your empire going to do about money?While I really don't see why we couldn't do all three eventually. I think we should concentrate now on-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)Since it'll allow us to not only delegate things a little, but also get recognition from other countries.>Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)will come naturally as we do our aventures.>-Mine Mine MINE (Plunder the earth and ancient places. Risks your army, but the dead don't have living expenses)Seems like a great idea once we have set up a system where we can collect the souls of our dead citizens and have a constant supply of corpses, though I'm not sure how popular that idea would be with the ones still living.

>What about the Lizard?>-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)We should seek intel with Hekapoo AND Omni., since we know that Hog dude was actually from an entirely different reality, Omni ought and Hek could do from her Dimensional contacts.

>>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEKUgh. Thise one is a doozy.All of these three are really important to us. Luna's missing Magic seems like a real trouble, and we need those Magics also to be able to interrogate the soul of Hog's friend. If he realized we took he souls we might be in even greater trouble that anticipated.War planet could be really profitable, and we need Wondi's tools.I don't want Janna doing something she doesn't want to do just to get something she wants. I want to help her, and I certainly don't want someone taking advantage of her when we could be helping her instead.I say.>The Forest's TollHelping our friend In need take priority. We'll just have to ask Wondi and Luna to wait a little.

>Bow is still scratching a lot>His leaves are falling offWe can probably consult with Hek or a biologist expert on Mewni about this. Hekw as the one to inform us on Swamp Drakes in the first place and may know more bout them.

>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from school>People have started to talk because of themWho gives a shit what people say? They don't know you for shit. Besides, we've done fetishising of other people ourselves, you little rapist.

>You do not have a throne in your throne roomAs long as we don't have important guests this is a non-issue.

>>a solid iron coffin covered in chains and full of welded anglesInvestigate it when you got the chance. We can check if we mind-read something from inside, and we can ask them where they found it. Also consult Luna.

>>2532403To clarify. In:>>What is your empire going to do about money?I vote for >-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)For legitimacy and reliability, and >>Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)Since we'll be doing that already.

>-Mine Mine MINE (Plunder the earth and ancient places. Risks your army, but the dead don't have living expenses)Seems useful, but we need our Skelies doing other things right now, and I'd actually rather have Wondervon's machines do the digging once we get him his tools back.

>BOOM>The day starts with some serious house cleaning>The skeletons are dusting and rearranging>Fuck breakfast>Fuck time>Luna makes you a cup of coffee from the springwater you're stealing from the school's bathroom sinks>While you sip you argue with the laws of physics and sense>To make a call

>CALL WITH HEKAPOOA: "Aye."H: "Who is this? I can't see your face in my phone."A: "It's yaboi."H: "For the last TIME! Either get a DNA TEST (good luck with that shit, I'm a demon) or fuck. Off. You're not getting a dime outta m-"A: "It's Anonymous."H: "...Oh."A: "What do you know about Lizards?"

>Hekapoo tells you there used to be a nation of Monsters>They were a serious powerhouse in the magic world>Not just because they had the largest army of magical creatures anyone had ever gone toe to toe with>Not just because they somehow allied primordial races like giants, Ogres, Drakonoids, and Witches from all manner of dread underground horror corners>...but their leadersH: "Were invincible."A: "Psh. The boasting of a Ligger. Everything has a weakness."H: "They didn't for a long time. Eventually Queen moon taught herself a spell that could keep their leader from regenerating all his wounds."A: "So she killed him?"H: "Nah. Just blew his finger off."A: "That sounds...controlled."H: "Unimpressed?"A: "Disgusted by weakness."H: "Hey. She's the Queen now."A: "Was this Lizard guy's name Toffee?"H: "..."A: "Cause he sent trouble my way."H: "To earth?"A: "To -my- part of earth."H: "He could be making a move for the princess."A: "Hey, let's not forget this is about m-"H: "We'll find him. If he's out there we'll find him."A: "I want his ass."H: "Official business only, kid."A: "Hey! You can't stonewall me outta official b-"H: "I can and I will and I PROMISE it's for your own good leave this to the inter-dimensional freaks and royalty.">Click

>So when you go back to school>You glide through the halls>Your mind snatching out everything that passes by>Tests>Girls>Boys>Tests>Girl AND boys>Useless>Pointless>Then you hit a blank spot>You pause>Feel at it>Then turn

A: "Sabrina."S: "Anon? H-hey! Did you need something f-from me?">You've been recalling Sabrina's existence more and more as of late>She's mousy>Indiscreet>Even as you go over the mountain of scratched notebook papers you've amassed>Lists>PossibilitiesA: "Shit, I gotta have Wondy check that coffin out."S: "Anon?"A: "Luna. Send some of the bone boyz to drag that coffin on Wondervon's desk. Make him...I dunno Science it or something so we can see inside."L: "Ah, to Science."S: "Anon. Hello?"A: "What? What do you want?"S: "Y-...you wanted something from me?"A: "Oh yeah! Yeah."

>You think at herA: "I want you to spy for me.">You quickly and unquestioningly take the way she just tears up and shakes from foot to shoulder>As a yes

>You instruct her to scan everyone's thoughts>Just like you do to hers>To find who's been writing that fanfiction>If she gets a lead>She's to tell you right away>Brittany interrupted you before you could say thank you

Br: "Sab, c'mon. I've got three nail appointments and you need to meet the guy taking you to the dance.">That bitch>So busy she barely notices the girl helping her outA: "Cunt.">She didn't even ask Sabrina if she was ok>Girl still looked sick as hell

>You portal to Mewni>Strut out into the swamps where you first got Bow>Walk right up the alchemist and blacksmith who told you so much about Drakes>Then realize you didn't bring Bow at allA: "Damnit damnit damnit damnit.">You schwing home>Find him digging a hole in the floor>The stone floorA: "Bad dog! Now c'mon we're going for a walk.">Bow heard walk>Say>No>More

>You meet a friendly Mewman Botanist named NickodeemusN: "Well, I've never seen anything like this."A: "Fuck. That sounds bad."N: "It -is- bad. Not knowing what this is means I can't safely treat it. Then again...I've never seen any of these plants before either."A: "Wh-"N: "What land did you say you were from?"A: "Earth?"N: "Ohohoho! Good one. Now really."A: "No. Really...">He looks between you, your swamp drake and tiny floating momA: "I'm human."

>Nickodeemus provides you a salve to try and rub on the affected areas when you get a chance>He also laughs out of thereN: "A Human! AAhaha! In mewni!? With scihihisssors!"

>>2533855I think we should get more information about what Janna's even getting into before going to her or Jackie. That way if they have questions we might be able to answer them rather than just going "Uhhhh, I dunno I just went into this without really thinking."

>You sprint out of the castle>Eventually, once your cloak gets on you soar>You crash out of the portal that links Luna's world to the human one>The gaping maw taking up half of Echo Creek's boy's room wall

>Once back on earth you can use your scissors>Tearing a hole between places as your blades have always done

SHRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIpp!

>You step out of the portal near where you first met the Witch of Salem>Martha was her name>In life at least>You built her a body out of phetuses>Man, maybe you should examine some of your actions once in a while

A: "MARTHA!">No time for that now>You've got a mostly nude 1800s woman in the woods to locate>Wait...from the trees>Is that?

A: "Music?"

https://youtu.be/QY8_nKejW-c

>It echoes from the dark corners>Rolls on the rocks>You can see a deer sprint in the opposite direction from it's source>Behind you is the city of Salem proper>Ahead>Is the woods

A: "Did Martha pick up some modern tastes?"L: "I suspect not.">Luna forms on your shoulder in a spiral of pink mist>Her tiny body weighs next to nothing>Yet still, where she sits you feel a warmth

>Cranchn>Munch>Wackle>Smack!>Your march up the road is stern>Almost resolute>You catch yourself muttering as you walkA: "Mrmrm Jackie outta know about this...">You glance at your phone>Yep>Still fucking RIPPETY dippety>You've got some glass shards in Muscles' hands>He wants you to tip one of the trees over>You refuse>Not only because it might alert someone to your presence>...but it would probably drive the glass deeper>You focus on the hand as long as possible before the steepness of the road draws you out

>You can almost still hear that music way down below>You hear some hilariously cringe-inducing wails from it too>Sounds like a rabbit getting the finger from a crane

A: "Buncha-lunatics.">You turn to keep heading onwards>Upwards

>The path has ended

https://youtu.be/RWQpaA-XydU

>Ahead of you is a slight 'V' shaped sort of path>Into trees that warp in their centers and claw into the rocks>A nearby trash can, intended for what might have been public park goers at one time shuffles>You turn>Ready yourself for attack!>It's a possum

A: "I got this.">Oh do you?>Of course you do>You're Anon>Master of messed up situations>Also nature>Fuck you, of course also nature>When the twig snaps so does your neck>Snapping toward the most logical offender

A: "YOU!">The possum>Your mind coils into the creature's very depths>His puny mind unfolds before you like a well fed, 16 year old oyster on prom night with her steady boyfriend of at least a year and a half>He's struggled>Watched his mother get eaten by a Rottweiler>Won a fight with a raccoon once>Never had rabies>Never bit anybody>Kind of likes it when people hold him by his tail a-

>You're carrying the possum before you even finish peeling his mind like an onionL: "Anonymous, what is that?"A: "This is a creature that eats trash and fears judgement.">You bounce him in your armsA: "...and he's mine now."

A: "I'm hear to speak with Martha!">You shout>Your voice comes back from the trees>Breathless>Soul-less>You take another step>Vault over some roots

>As you continue the ground becomes ridged>Muddy>Your shoes don't scatter leaves here>They splash slimy water up from the countless puddles beneath you

>The possum in your arm is still hissing>His tails coils around your human wrist>You pause>As you suddenly realize that other than the slope of the mountain>Telling which way you came>You have no idea>Any idea>Where you are

A: "...">Why is the air here so hot?

>SHUNCK!A: "AH!"

https://youtu.be/Mc_omTrOJfc

>The ground's suddenly opened>You've fallen into the mountain>Up to your hip>Nearly past your waist>Your right leg feels like it's being gnawed by the ground>A red, pudding like slime splatters from the edges of the sinkhole you've collapsed

A: "FUCK! FUCK!">The trees overhead seem to be watching>With no pity>Or feeling at all>Just stillness>Your breath comes in too quickly for you to get calm

>>2534212Remove self from the sinkhole we're in, calm the fuck down and remember, NO FEAR.

Star walking would help with getting free sure, just make not to star walk into a freaking tree with how much we're pulling. Also inform Martha if she doesn't get her ass out here we're going to start burning trees on her Milf Ass

>You can fly>Or float at least>As you start to ascend possum bro panics>FLight!? HE'S NOT WORTHY OF FLIGHTA: "Shhh shshsh">You whisper into his earA: "You're worthy of whatever you want in this life."

>Shunk>You've stopped...>YOU'VE STOPPED!?

>Your ankle>It's still in this hole>You squirm>Kick>The Possum hisses at the hole>Good hustle, Possum>You can feel your skin breaking on jagged, glassy rocks

A: "Enough.">KER-SNAP!>Muscles snaps upward, stretching to reach the upper levels of the trees>At first the branches don't hold>He comes back holding a rolled up mess>Of dark grey wood>A femur>Cobwebs>The remains of an 80s windbreaker and a kite

A: "NYeh! THE 80S ended like 900 years ago!">You hurl the mess away>Reach for a better hold>Muscles has you now>HERckack!>You snap up like a rubber band

>Your ankle is a mess of cuts and deep black bruises>Your shoe has a hole in the toes>Your pant leg is covered in dirt and reddish slime

A: "Martha! Martha you MAGIC AXE WOUND! Get out here or I'm gonna-AUUGHh!">Your eyes water on that last inhalation>You have to close them because of the involuntary gag that pulls on your throat

>The hole>Where you leg caved in the ground>It stinks>Like REALLY stinks>The wind slowly pushing from it smells like the sour shits of a sick day>Like that ward of the hospital you send grandparents to die quietly and divide up the estate>While you swing from the moss covered tree, disrespecting the forest's peace you notice something

>The air up here is much less hot>The shadows of the trees that are cost onto the earth>Seem deeper>Richer>Filled out

>You wish you had brought something to clean the wounds on your ankle

ANON HAS TAKEN 3 DAMAGE

>Jackie would have somethingA: "NMMFM! No! No I don't NEED to be fuckin' baby sat!">You kick the blood off>Glare around at the woods

A: "MARTHA! MARTHA!"L: "Why are you shouting?">You look at LunaL: "Why are you shouting when you can magically scream?"

>She's right, you know>This area is spooky beyond belief>The trees higher up the mountain look even thicker>With less even ground>The world below is orderly but empty and vast>The wind is so cold against you up here in the air>Your new Possum is hanging from your wrist, scrabbling>The Hole below blasts steam for a second>Sending a glove covered in the same red slime out into the open

>>2534431Mind scream to cancel spell effects and call for Martha.Also... Stinks of what? simply gargbage? Or the UNDEAD? Animal, Insect, Human... perhaps we can get a small mob to assist us... or additional info on what caused them their demise.

>>2534431Insert mental scream spell.exeInsert text.Martha god damn it and goat damn it you really need to get a telephone or something so I dont' have to trump through your swamp to get a freakin courtesy call done.

>You look at this>All this>The gore>The winding roots>This...thing staring at you like you're a marshmallow on the end of a burnt stick>You extend your neckA: "Nope."

>You whip out your scissors>Spin them like a cowboyA: "I ain't killin' kids until I'm at least in my 20s and convinced I'm doing the right thing."

>SHHHHHHHHRRRRRRIIIP

https://youtu.be/SWsYG_pE76o

>You step out of the portal>Ankle stinging>Face covered in soot and ash and leaves>Pants covered in tomato flesh lookin' slime>Possum in hand

???: "OH GOD!"???: "He's REAL!"

>To the sound of teenage girl screamsA: "What th-">Some goth chicks are in here>5 by your quick count>You look down>Sure enough>Martha>Looking up at you>Her hair's plastered to her head and neck>Her whole body is slick with sweat>You can tell

>Cause her stank ass is naked and hairy as an angus cow>Along with of course the obvious>She's in midst of childbirth

M: "Hello."A: "JESUS, WHYAT?!">You scream>Muscles is one million dicks>Possum screams

???: "Please. Take me next.">One of the goth girls has approached you>She's yanking at her 'Dirt Mother' shirt to try and get undressed>She is not of a healthy BMI>Her torn jeans reveal jiggling thighs that are way too out in the open for someone this far away from their teens

A: "Nothin' personal.">You sniff>Push her back with a gravity spellA: "MMmmbut I think I'm better than the 'fat one' ."

>A scrawny girl comes up to you>Face grimGG: "She is a fucking QUEEN you virgin filth.">Oh>Nevermind>It's a man>A weak one

M: "Can I help you, Anonymous?"A: "Y-yeah. I have some questions. Pretty serious o-"M: "OOOUAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!">Martha screams again>Black fluid spurts out of her practically clothed -in-fur body onto the tiles of the church>You hear some wood creak>You look up>A wooden statue of some priest is frowning at the scene>Martha twitches and flatulates>His head is spattered in her life goo

>The screaming wouldn't be so bad>If all the goth chicks weren't screaming with herA: "Is that nessecary?"M: "No. They believe it communes them with my pain."A: "Does it?"M: "No."A: "Look. I need to know what the ahhgh!">You clamp your face with Muscles>Who is set aquiver from all you've seen today>The miracle of birth>The results of said miracle

>Fat goth chick thighs>Witch tiddies>Man>What a time

>The smell is back is your only issue>In full force>You peek out of your fingers to see Martha wobbling up onto her feet

A: "Damn, bitch. You live like this?"M: "Indeed. All life.">She squats>Turns her shoulders purple with how hard she squeezesM: "LIVES...LIKE THIS-"A: "Enough!">You spin her around>Push the White Knight trap-goth boy into a puddle of blackened menstrual fluid

A: "I wanna know what Janna's getting into. If she's got options. Cause no offense but...">You motion to MarthaA: "All this.">Then gag alittleA: "Can't be healthy."M: "You cannot make her choices for her."A: "No but I can damn sure keep people from giving her bad options."

>Muscles curls his fingers>They crack like the snaps of a chicken's neck

A: "Now give me some answers. So I can get the fuck up outta here away from your misguided youths. Your semi-cannibal children and that damn STENCH!"

FG: "Please. I want to bear the fruits of the forest. The world of man is nothing to me, please! Take me!"A: "I thought I told you, Ms. Slam Pig. EN. OH. NO!"M: "She was not talking to you."

>It takes you a moment>Before you snap backwards>Before the shadows that fill the entirety of the back of the church seem to deepen>Into wispy black fur>When the stone cracks from the step of cloven feet>When the light of portable lanterns and trash fires dies down to be replaced by yellow, dead yet piercing eyes

>A long, awful neck stretches out from the dark>Lowering a face that's all too close to human at you>Oh by all darkness>When it breathes>The smell

M: "Disciple of the Pink. Meet the father of my children. My patron. My god.">The creature opens it's lips>Revealing curled, lion-like teeth where a goat's should be

???: "I am the dark Father.">It speaks without a single human gesture of it's mouth

>>2535123Sup goat daddy. Maybe get him a couple hundred boxes of breath mints, see if we can make a dent in that rancid breath of his. Also, yeah, no, I think Janna’s probably not gonna be super into all...uh...this. There’s cool witchcraft and rituals and all that jazz, and then there’s having sex with a giant bipedal goat and bearing it’s hideous, malformed children. He seems fairly courteous, at least.

>>2535363Dude. She's The End.bcuz she literally ENDED practically an entire reality. That, and it's not unlikely that to the eyes of many powerful entities, she's the more prominent individual between Anon and her.

>>2535376Existence itself when we kicked Fate's teeth in. Also, the flow of the conversation was directed to us. Not only that, but I'm fairly sure Luna's avatar isn't even here so what he fuck would be he talking to? Even then, sure she did all that but how would he know? That all happened in another universe. No one in this universe knows besides us and Glossaryck. Not even Omnitraxus knew and he was the space-time/multiverse guy.

It really doesn't make sense that he'd be addressing her instead of us when Martha introduced him to us. You don't be introduced to someones kid then say "hello kid X's mother" that's just weird and doesn't flow well.

>You quickly and unquestioningly take the way she just tears up and shakes from foot to shoulder

Britt is forcing Sabrina into shit she doesnt want because sabrina is a doormat. That shot is now stuff about having a boyfriend and going to prom. Sabrina obviously feels like she has no control over her life and anon just rolled up and used her like she gets used by everyone else.

We need to take a second while running around like a spazz and tell her that she is special and that we appreciate her as a friend and that she can say no and that if she needs help being her own person we have a safe place in our castle where she is beholden to no one.

>Are you still Anon?>Are you?>Anonymous McMoot>He wasn't the kind of person to give this much of a shit>Was he?>Before you were nothing>Now, not only are you important>To at least -one- person in this fetid world.>You're powerful>You're elevating others to the same status>Or you tried at least>You found a human>Martha Dugood>Who found herself an avenue for strength>At the very least a way to obtain magical abilities

>All she had to do was acquiesce something to another, higher power>So you sent a friend>Janna Ordonia>To this woman>To learn her higher power>It's had some benefits>Janna's gained much greater control of the psionic portion of her mind>Able to two-way communicate>Able to read the thoughts and motives of the unguarded>The spells however>The spells themselves elude her>She is missing a piece to her power>The creature providing these "gifts" is one known as the Dark Father>Supposedly she must surrender to his 'ministrations' in order to achieve the next level

>Martha has utterly given in to this creature>As a result, she's powerful enough to birth and untold number of demi-god spawn>Conceal them in illusion magic>Even sustain the life of a polluted, old growth forest on the outskirts of Salem>Who knows how many corpses litter this mountain where they sleep

>Her body is a temple to his will>Her Obsession seems to fuel her powers>That is a not a fate you can tolerate for your friend

>You've come to confront this being>Who has been so kind as appear before you>He is a behemoth>An affront to natural order>With his squashed, man-like goatish face>His curtains of billowing black fur>Those eyes>That break through everything they behold>Yet never seem to properly blink

>This is the Horned one

HO: "You must be...the end."

>His lips curl downward>They don't move when he 'speaks'

???: "Please! OH DARK FATHER TAKE ME! TAKE ME PL-"

>He raises his right hand at the one screaming for his attention>A normal, uninitiated girl>Who's body, from the looks of the holes in her metal band logo covered clothing is a ruin>Her desperate pleas become silent as the palm levels her way>She continues to plead, unaware no one can hear her

Ho: "They get hysterical, at times. When they see their opportunity.">His craning neck crunches as he turns back to youHo: "Well..."A: "I-"Ho: "For what purpose do you seek this audience with me?"

>You are standing at the top of a church steeple>A crowd of ignorant goths is behind you>One of which really wants that goat dick>Martha is there as well>Naked and still giving birth

>>2538324Yeah I've just come to discuss the EULA and Terms&Conditions of what it means to have you as a patron. Get all the details and fine print. Basically just tell me what you're about and if you're going to ruin my bud Janna.

>>2538324“All right i’ll Be honest, I’m worried about my good friend Janna going into something that she is not prepared for at all. I want to know exactly WHAT she is giving up before she takes the goat dick.”

>>2538354>>2538324This, essentially. We might have made a mistake just handing our friend to a complete stranger. We knew she wanted this, but we're not sure she knows what she's getting into, or if it's for the better.

Really, no offense, but we don't want her to surrender her own freedom (and body) just because she's looking for power when she could find it somewhere else less... taxing.

We might have made a mistake. We want to make sure we didn't, and fix it if possible.

>>2538324We would just like to understand your rituals, what they entail and the "lesson plan" you have in regards to our friend. The rotten hole at the end of that gravel path doesn't paint the best picture of you

>A simple list in your head forms>Simple questions>Straightforward as well

A: "You have a new student in the form of my friend, Janna."Ho: "Do I?">His expression tells nothingA: "Yes. She's been drawing her power from you. Learning from you. To my knowledge though there's something you need from her in order to let her be a full witch."Ho: "Indeed."A: "What is it? Does she end up like...">You look to Martha>Who is wordless>Just a meat-statue pushing away into the aisle of the church to relieve her body of it's burdenA: "That? Is that your end game?">The creature's neck raises back up>His eyes finally move>From you to the crowd of awestruck pretender-satanists>One of which has already started to run for the door

??: "No! NO IT'S NOT REAL! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"Ho: "Do not go out there.">They throw open the door

>They are face to face with a crowd of those horrors you saw up the mountain>They scream>The goat creatures scream>Then snatch them into their midst>You can't even see them anymore>They beg

Ho: "Things used to be better than this, you know. There didn't used to be just one, or two individuals that served me.">He grunts, allowing a bear-like roar to shudder in very goat-like fashionHo: "We used to be -better- than all this.">He leans back upHo: "The one you call 'Janna' has not yet been to see me. She has been learning in a trance state. The dream world that my disciple-daughter has shown her.">He rolls his shoulders>Leans back on the church wall>Which strains under his unseen weightHo: "She struggles because of this. Because I cannot grant my power unless I exist in her mind."A: "Well what's that supposed to mean?"Ho: "Worship.">The skies outside rumbleHo: "She must worship me. Or at least know my being. Most humans are only capable of...obsession."

>He looks down his nose at youHo: "Cases like yours are very rare. Your kind is so versatile. A shame you chose this path."A: "What path?"Ho: "The Godless path. With your godless science and more godless christians.">He takes a cross from the off the wall>Inverts it>Then puts it back

Ho: "Your friend must see my face and allow me into her life. If she does so she will surely, like this Mother-disciple become an instrument of my Will. In order to sate her desires..."Ma: "Another child."Ho: "Or. She will owe unto the sabatoge of your christian faith."

>He chucklesHo: "The abolishment of your betrayal to nature."

>Beth is still screaming>Josh has still done NOTHING about it

>Martha turns to you all>Her smile to side it threatens to crease her entire face into a wrinkleMa: "A BOY, my lord!"

>pic related's happy Birthday.webm

Ho: "What a frabjous occasion, mo sto'r."

>There's one answer>He needs more followers>Most are dumbasses, perverts or out for themselves>The noble human race>Sounds familiar>Now what do?

I've come to perform due diligence on the fate of someone dear to me personally and otherwise. She is uncertain and conflicted. The rage filled one. Tell me of her progress and her next steps, if you would indulge one who raised your sycophant from death."

>>2538559"First off, I am a god so thats that, and two If you need help why didn't you say so? I can use more people to help kick ass and in return i will help start up a cult for ya in California, place is FULL of people who would suck this kind of think up like a sponge in water. I still need to talk to Janna about this, but if she is TRULY about all this then i can't stop her."

>>2538559>Humans used to be magic. HM.>Did demons invent Christianity? If so thats hilarious.>Everybody wants followers who are not shit, sadly the only way to get them is a lot of hard work. As I am learning.>So what are you going to do with them then?>Lastly, help those poor mortal fucks.>You should take better care of your followers. You only get out what you put in.

If it is that trivial, I will counsel her then and let her decide without the intervention of thesycophant. But know that she will serve me as well. I will be king. I do not serve the godless path as I am a God. Why do you call me the End. There is no end, not anymore .

>>2538559Hmmmm, so this arrogant goat fuckboy wants to be god....the same kind of god that would destroy us if we didn't break reality......this unworthy furbait shall be taught a lesson in hubris. Annihilation Wave the goats off the retard goth kids. Then have a pleastent chat about how his ideas are so fundamentally abhorrent he has 1 hour to shove it up his goat ass. Offer up be a regular goat fucking idol on the internet. It would unfortunately be more effective. But without the...human eating.

>>2538651Or we can do what we set out to and be human, we followed through on example of what happens to a shit god. To be a god is to be a useless sadistic fuck, as the goat is showing right now. To hell with that noise, even demons have more respect in a legal sense than this, not by much, but still.

>>2538651To quote myself, Godhood is just a title, self-absorbed assholes give themselves to prop-themselves in front of fools and innocents.

If we want followers and subjects we should get them by demonstrating ourselves as for who we are. We already rejected the worship of our own, loyal-belong-the-grave who have every reason to treat us as a supreme being since they confused us with The Messiah.

>>2538668Why be human tho? What's so god damn special about being human? Nothing, there's nothing special or interesting about it beyond jerking yourself off going "OOOHH OHHHH I'M SOOOOOO HUUUUUUUUMAN!"

>>2538683Why be a god tho? What's so god damn special about being divine? Nothing, there's nothing special or interesting about it beyond jerking yourself off going "OOOHH OHHHH I'M SOOOOOO GOOOOOODLLLLYYYYY!"

>>2538683Because it is the one thing we we're to be denied to the point of complete annihilation. We eat Cheetos on a beanbag chair for a throne, and watch Adventure Time on Netflix, with a 70-in widescreen tv. There are no higher goals for but to live regardless of the universe trying to kill us, fuck being a god you stupid schmuck, did you even get here for the last season, or are you here to say dumb shit?

>>2538729New fag? Fuck off you self righteous faggot, I've been here since /co/ you're just talking like an autist and aren't comprehensible. Maybe go back to kindergarten to figure out how to construct a proper sentence and try again.

Stop being such a whiny pissbaby you idiotic prick, so what if he's new? Let some new people join in instead of having the first couple of people be here instead of REEEEing and telling them to go and stay go

A: "You know. Coming here I had no idea what to expect. I thought you wanted Janna to fuck you.">He thinks for a momentHo: "It would be most effective.">You shake your head and chuckleA: "I've only met one God before."Ho: "I don't go by that name anymore. Your kind call us that. I learned better. When your faith proved to be so fleeting."A: "I'm gonna save that Moron in the of Lawn-Ornaments you got out front."Ho: "They will try to eat you. They are mindless phantoms."

M: "Only for now, my lord. I can make better ones. I swear."Ho: "Do as you wish."M: "Master?"Ho: "My realms are no longer the beautiful ones. The green places and hallowed hollows. Once I was fertility and grace.">He sighsHo: "Now I am a dream. Made horrid by the sickened dreams of castaways."

>You spitA: "Your problem is you talk like a fag.">You feel him scan the front of your mind for the meaning to your slangHo: "Heh.">He gets it

A: "ALRIGHT! BANANA SLAMMA TIME BABY!"

HOW FUCKING GET INTO THE MOSH PIT OF GOATS!?

>Some are humanoid>Others are more like goats themselves>Some are tree-stumps and mounds of meat>All of them have his eyes>With Martha's pitch black hair

>Muscles pulls into himself>Coils like a spring>The Wand in your hand floats upward>Then joins into his flesh>It rotates around, the end acting as a focus crystal>The mouth piece joins his shoulder bone hooks>He clenches his fist>Then blossoms from his palm like a flower>Your light>Burns >From within

M: "No! MY CHILDREN! Run! RUN TO THE FORESTS! THE WORLD WILL BE YOURS. ALL FLESH WILL BE YOURS BUT YOU MUST RUN!">The children hear her>They do not listen>Too hungry>Their bodies fade between corporeal sense and a half-existence>Some of them flicker in and out of visibility>The ones closest to the girl>They hold the most solidity>Their rectangular pupils dilate at the sounds of their mother's voice>Yet their jaws never stop snapping>Some of their horns shed spontaneously>Some of the small bites they take from the screaming body below them fall from their throats and bellies as they try to sup on her flesh

>By the time you've fully charged your power>The floor beneath you has burnt in a circle>Then widened to an elipse>Then>When you fire

>>2539011Is this the strength of a god?Is that what you think you are?

+2

>No 1s

>37 total

https://youtu.be/hVxyJrVVpG8

>FWeeeeEEeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE>KRAK-A-TOW!>The creatures turn>Their dead-wild eyes contracting>Like beasts caught in the light of a new world>Like deer staring down headlights>Like abominations>Who's presence disgusts your notion of what the world should be

>Anon deals 43 damage>THE GHOSTS DISPERSE!>The bodies shred like burning tissue paper>Their eyes pop like heated sacks of jelly in a boiling pot!Ho: "From naught to nothing. Of course this power can still exist. If only there are those bold enough to stoke it's fire."J: "BETH!">The goth boy is knocked backwards>You are sent backwards too>The beam flies upward>Splitting the roof of the church>The sky cracks from where you gold and pink laser shred the clouds>You collapse onto the church stairs>Martha stands over you>Some rai->Wait>No>That was fluid from Martha that just dripped on you

A: "Oh you are fucking DEAD again you pagan whore."M: "I've heard that one before.">She produces a serrated dagger>Made from the antler of some kind of creatureM: "Your BLOOD WILL FEED THE NEXT GENERATION!"

SHE LUNGES DOWN INTO YOUR HUMAN SHOULDER!

>SHUNK!

ANONYMOUS HAS TAKEN 15 DAMAGE!

>Martha's spirit was so calm>So beautiful when you resurrected her>Is this what she spent all those years hiding?>He whole life>Spent in servitude of men>You can feel the edges of the knife dig into you>Martha whispers into the darkness between you and her

M: "I mark this body. Mark my prey. May all his children FEED AGAIN!"

>The darkness around you>All of it>The shadows under the pews>The darkness where Martha's body which reeks almost like gasoline from unwashed sex and life giving fluids>Contains presences>Wood and flesh curl their like larvae being allowed to hatch

>>2539115Crucicrush Martha so that she's incapacitated. Tell her she goes by our rules or gets the press again like so many other of the supposed witches of her time. If she tries to cast anything? Combustion time.

>The darkness explodes with branch textured arms>Split faces>Conjoined limbs>The ghosts of demi-godal children snatch at your clothes and flesh>Martha snarls down at you>She goes to twist the knife!

https://youtu.be/GD0mHE1H5_o

>Only to see your shoulder turn to crawling creatures>Your face crumples into the floor>You have transfigured>YOU ARE A SWARM OF FLYING INSECTS!

>You take flight!>Blast yourself across the church>Every attack that is meant to rip and tear you...>Is absorbed by the swarm's teeming numbers!>Your wings whistle>Your mind is a buzz of hateful thoughts

>Her children would have dragged you with 24 damage

>The Swarm however takes HALF damage from physical sources!

>ANONYMOUS HAS TAKEN 12 DAMAGE

>Now that you're airborne you can better see the scene

>Martha near the back of the church>With the Horned one behind her taking up the darkness near the back

>The goth kids are a bit spread out>Bethany is a mess>Missing fingers and part of her face>Looks like a bear got a hold of her>Not the fun kind either>Not the ones from the dating apps

A: "Mom. What can we do here?"L: "Has she hurt you?"A: "Yes."L: "Does she defy your will?"A: "That's a check yes."L: "Destroy her."

A: "What about the Goat?"L: "His only saving grace is his humility. That can be un-learned."

>Your insect mind is alive with wicked thoughts>Smashing>Slashing>Mashing thoughts>You want to burn these stains from your world>Erase their STINK and replace it with the acrid stench of Armageddon>The insects that form your body reform>You float in the chasm created by your earlier laser blast>You point down at Martha>Muscles twitching at your side>One of the goats bit him>He wants you to turn into the swarm again, crawl up their assholes and expand as a ball of muscle and blades

>Anon's WILL SP is 23>She is physically incapable of escapingA: "Now. Maybe I have your fucking attention."M: "You destroyed. My. Future.">You land>Head for the wreck of a body in that doorway left by the goatsA: "I gave you your future, bitch. I gave you a body and you use for shit that's just...">You turn back>Raise your lipA: "Just NAzty."B: "Hmmgmuuh muh mahmee..."A: "Shhh, that's my line you dumbass bandwagon cock barn."

>You could heal the goth kid>You could deal with Martha now while she's trapped>She is already whispering into her hands>Shaking

L: "Anonymous."

>A flash>More fluid splashes onto your forehead>No>No it's light>You're surrounded by light>Your whole body is enveloped in it>Your fingers are burning at the tips>Your nails have all turned to spraying blood blisters>Because the storm is here

M: "My master's power...cannot...be bested.">The shadow behind Martha is faded>He is but blackness and a set of yellow glowing eyes>Martha skin looks scarred>Aged, somehow>She had to sacrifice for that hit

>You are cast in shadow>The lightning up above flashes a brief image of your visage>Rain>Falls>Your hair slickens>Your armor regrows more quickly>Across gray and cracked skin>You raise your right hand>Wand grasped tightly>The heart beats>Faster>With wild abandon>Muscles' use of the magic is clumsy>Yet he has your brass instrument>The horn twists this world like clay>In your human hand>Still nearly skeletal from the burns>Lies your ultimate power>To strip gods of their divinity>To rewrite the universe

>You have no idea what this will do to Martha>You are certain howeverA: "This...will hurt."M: "rrrRAAAAHH!">MARTHA'S CHILDREN RE-EMERGE FROM THE SHADOWS>THEY SHRED YOUR FLESH>TEAR INTO YOUR BONES>ONE OF YOUR EYES IS NEARLY CRACKED OUT OF YOUR SKULL

>YOUR HP>IT WOULD BE ZERO NOW

>If not for the spell....>THAT CRASHES DOWN FROM THE CRESENDO OF YOUR HAND AND WAND COLLAPSING DOWNWARD

>Your joints shake>Your hair slides down into your eyes>The goats cower and flee into the darkness>Their bleats are pitiful>Their jaws snap into the air>The shadows they occupy twist like cage bars

A: "No..."

>You raise your wand

A: "No escape.">They are in the darkness>You know that place>The obscure>The unknown>The unwanted>You left that behind>Muscles bonds with the Wand once again>Your teeth sear like overloaded electrodes as you speak

>The Massacre of the Goat-Spawn>Of the Lustful degenerates>Is complete>With a single swipe of your awful power>The church is left in ruin>The goth kids lay trembling in the grass

>All alive

Ho: "Amazing.">You turn to the sound>Your shoulders slouch>The horned one is free from the church>Standing over Martha's blackened bones>His fur waving in the storm>Some of the rain falls through him and hits the cracks in the stones below>Where they land>White flowers bloom

Ho: "I would grant you any favor in my power."A: "..."Ho: "Were I not about to die."

>You see something in him>A light>Growing from inside>Something not corrupted>Or even organic

>The pudgy one erupts into tears>Crawls through the slimeHo: "She is possessed by the vision...of what lies beyond."FG: "Please. Please, god NO. Don't just leave. I can keep you here! PLEASE! Let me...">She chokesFG: "Don't leave me here with them. In the grey, lifeless world.">The other goths looked stunned by her flash of eloquence

Ho: "I feel I was meant for this...we believed we needed to be eternal. To be forever.">His bones are turning to gold>His fur changing from pitch black to tawny brown>His horns to silvered metal>His eyes twinkle like clean spring water>Like Untouched forest in the pupils

A: "It doesn't have to be like this.">He is fading>You>Stand tall>As Luna finally appears before the rabble>A parasol guards her form from the rain>Muscles curls back into a clawed hand>Points to the morphing god-corpse

>As the Possum from earlier emerges from the rubble and claws up your armor's shirt

A: "I may still have use for you."

SESSION END!

NEXT SESSION: SATURDAY! 7:00PM US CENTRAL TIME!

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5454620

the tip jar (which has now reached $25 per month! Thank you, friends. TIME FOR SOME ART!)

Stay blesst.Love,Quest

>You point to the wet vermin hanging off of your shoulderA: "The possum's name is Atreus."At: "Hehhhhhh"A: "Quiet, Boy."At: "heh"

Fat chick is keeping him alive in the world for now, but not for long.

>summon Janna becuase her Psionics can keep him alive>they can get to know each other at a psychic level and Janna can decide to accept him as a patron.>Janna gets to accept the power on her terms, no outside influences>explain that Martha was corrupting the God and her teaching.

>>2539965I want to give it to Janna too.. but I'm concerned about the "dammit, what about letting me handle things and make decisions for myself" aspect. Atreus may allow us the option for her to 'discover and obtain' the power on her own without having to know the assistance we played. Or we just be upfront with her... but then again, Horned One is about to expire right here, right now so...

H: "When Martha died the first time. I was still a figment. A sort of dream.">He's towering over the ruins of the church>The wind and gentle rain stains his fur>Yet he's ghost-like>Partly see through

H: "Now there's no one who holds me in their heart. Or their mind. I'm...free. In a way. Connecting no one to the auld magic."A: "I gotta fix this."

B: "beauuhh..."A: "Aw shit."

>You gotta fix the PEOPLE too>Martha's kids were all a bunch of misshapen goat-men/phantoms>They ate>Terribly>So the person they tried eating is still alive>Just all in pieces

>There's a beta on the ground, shrieking about how he needs to call the police>An ambulance>There's a fat girl trying to grab the Horned one's now golden brown fur>Half of it sticks>The other half falls through her hands

L: "Parasite."

A: "I gotta fix -most- of you."H: "I could probably die and be fine with it."A: "Fuck me you went from Dour to just fuckin' sad. I thought you were a god of nature."H: "Just because I'm a god doesn't mean I'm not..."

>>2557138Call up Janna, we need to introduce her to her new source of magic. Goat man, you said you owed us a favor. We're cashing in, you're gonna be my buds patron and you're gonna be best buds with her. It's gonna be great.

>>2557138Use our mental link with Janna to find out where she is, tell her to drop everything and come with us for some accelerated witchery courses. Once she gets here, shove the goat spirit inside Janna.

>>2557138>Offer to bind Horny to Janna. The girl needs guidance and she appreciates nature more than anyone we know.>Scissors the Goat Beasts through THE HOLE, we'll deal with them later>BfB the survivors to a reasonable approximation of healthy>Text Janna for her location, then scissors her to the Goat Man

A: "Look. The whole reason I revived Martha was because she said your power could help a friend of mine."H: "Maybe they could have once. I've felt her presence, ya know. She's determined. A lass of character."

A: "Are you...transforming?"H: "Goin' backwards. To my first form. We're all nothin' at first. You. Me. Everything.">He shrugsH: "Guess I'm just goin' back to nothin."A: "Not if I can help it."

>You turn to the dying girlA: "Aight. I just need some b-"

-ANONYMOUS IS STILL ONLY AT 24 HP

>Mm>This girl>She is in -seriously- bad shape

A: "Mom. Can I even fix this?"L: "Do you need to?"A: "Well...no. I just wanna help."L: "You're already helping -one- person that doesn't deserve it. Are you after a record?"A: "..."L: "This person is a stranger. She came here thinking she'd get power. Instead. She was used."A: "Well she didn't deserve it."L: "Do you know that?"A: "Mom -you- used my blood- Wait. No. I don't need MY blood."

>You open a portal>Back to Janna's trailerA: "Bananda?">You lean in>Atreus is curled up on your shoulder>He spots Janna's possum in the sink

J'sP: "HEHHHHHH"At: "HEHHHHHH"

>They screm the entire time they can see each other

A: "Nope. Not here.">You lean back out>Atreus and Janna's possum both stop at the exact moment they can no longer see each other

>So you psychically reach out to her

A: "Janna. Where are you?">Nothing at firstA: "Janna please. It's about Martha."Ja: "I'm with Star right now."A: "YOU'RE WITH W-"

>You snap out of your link>Spit on the ground>Then get back in

A: "Ok. Look. It's an emergency."Ja: "I'm about to summon a clown ghost."A: "That's awesome. It's also lame. You wanna be a witch or not? Where are you so I can show you the Horned One."Ja: "...You."A: "What?"Ja: "YOU can show me the Horned One!?"

>Your connection gets fuzzy>Blurry even>Your eyes bubble

>SHRRRRRRRRRIP>You break the call>There's a portal opening in the air>Janna steps through>She has Star's scissors in her hand>A bible in the other that's been dipped in some kind of grease paint

>Star's inside the portal>Sitting inside of a circle of candles>With a book laid out in front of her>Glossaryck's there>On her shoulder>He locks eyes with Luna and waves

Ja: "Anon what the fuck do yo-...">Janna stops>Looks past you at the glitterous phantom of a godJa: "You fucking jerk.">She does not look happy>Not none at all>Any

Secondly, Janna. Be mad at me all you want, I don't care. All I care about is you getting magic. I can bind him to you and keep him alive and give you magic. If you want to that is. If you don't want it, I can keep him alive another way. This is YOUR choice right now. Magic and a new friend, or none of that.

>>2557330>2557330" YEAH I FUCKED UP, SORRY! MET UP WITH MARTHA, SHE WENT RABID AND HAD TO GO DOWN, ALMOST KILLED ME. YOU STAB ME IN THE DICK LATER AND SUMMON FUCKZO THE MOLESTING CLOWN LATER. HELP ME KEEP HIM FROM DYING!

You need to reach out to his mind, his soul, his being and "know him". Understand him as a spirit of nature or some granola shit. He's dying and only you can keep him here. I have to save this bleeding thot. Get star here to help with the magic, shes good at the whole clap to keep a fairy alive bullshit."

>BfB on the goth kid for messed up boi. Blood donation time.

>Get you and star to link magic again and help I don't know, enhance Janna's psionics or whatever.

>Janna needs to open her mind to the goat, like full on goatse spread it and let him in.

>>2557330"Look, before you star screaming at me, let me explain. I am not going lie. I fucked up. Also i may have or not comited a small scale genocide. Thing is, Martha was insane, and i was wrong in leading you to her. Horny here is dying, and he is the only way i know so far to you attain power. I KNOW it is not the ideal solution, neither what you wanted, but... im sorry for screwing up okay? But i am not sorry for getting ride of Martha"

>>Looks at Star.

"Also, can the both of you lend me some blood? There some teenagers back there kinda of dying, and man i am spent."

>>2557330By the way the Horned one is okay with Martha being dead. She was corrupting him with her Motherhood fetish and her resentment of men from colonial society. Also, fucked up goth is from Martha's children trying to eat.

>>2557330>"Yes I am absolutely the worst.">"I gave you something thoughtless of the consequences or what you might actually desire. ">"Now I am have even FURTHER messing with your life, now behind your back.">"Which is a horribly shitty thing to do.">"Now I am making ass backwards 'offers' that are really just me wanting you to do things like some kind of discount demon.">"I have MASSIVELY betrayed your trust and will do... whatever you want me to make up for it.">"...">"I was worried about you but I should have just asked. Rather than assuming and jumping in like usual."

What went down between Martha and Anon was 100% their business. Janna was not really a party to our visit other than we had concerns about the person we resurrected and had a pact with.

Martha violated that pact by allowing the gothlings to come to harm as well as raising a hand against us. She loony toons level nutso and we had to kill her. She almost killed us. She was also lying to Janna and warping her training to make Janna into a mini-Martha.

What is happening right now, yes is a consequence of our actions but not intentional and not because we wanted to meddle in Janna's development or give her easy power or whatever. We resurrected Martha and were responsible for her actions and this is the way it played out.

Now we are trying to keep goatman, a victim in all this alive and you, Janna are the only one that can help. I'm sorry if this pisses her off but this is how it went down, we can hash it out later. We meant no harm to her and are trying to keep things from spiraling out of control.

>>2557434>What is happening right now, yes is a consequence of our actions but not intentional and not because we wanted to meddle in Janna's development or give her easy power or whatever. K E KHAHAHAHA, Sure buddy.Martha might be a crazy bitch, but don't pretend anything we did was anything more than moralfaggotry.Justified moralfaggotry but we totally robbed Janna of her agency either way.She has every righr to be mad.

>>2557478Are you joking, there was nothing moralfagging about this. We strolled in, demanded answers from the being we resurrected and had a pact with, and then was attacked when we tried to put down her rabid half breed children. THE CHILDREN SHE WAS BREEDING TO BE AN ARMY TO ATTACK THE MODERN WORLD, 100% IN VIOLATION OF OUR PACT.

We told martha, A year and a day of seeing the world for what it was today before going and doing the shit she did.

She raised a hand to us, the god that gave her life again and was put down like the rabid dog she was. Nothing moral about.

A: "Ok, look."Ja: "Look!? I see already!">Janna points at the shimmering goat hologramJa: "That's him, isn't it!? You just WALK up in my business. MY. BUSINESS, ANON."A: "You got a right to be mad. Just listen."Ja: "I told you that I KNEW Martha's methods were messed up!"A: "Well we didn't know she was FEEDIN' NIGGAS TO HER KIDS!"Ja: "Yes. I. Did."A: " https://youtu.be/VsJc2ZhbXIg "Ja: "You fucking ASSUMED that YOU needed to get involved."A: "Of course I did. I did this to you. You didn't deserve to get a gigantic goat shlong up in you just for some basic ass Witch magic."H: "Gigantic?">Horned one looks down at his crotch>After a moment>He smilesH: "Death will be sweet."

A: "I wanted better for you so I came to check on Martha's bullshit a-"Ja: "Anon I was already looking for ways out. I set up so much on my own and you j-"A: "I'M STILL GIVING YOU THE CHOICE!"

>You point to The Horned oneA: "He dies if you don't take him.">You point back at herA: "You get POWER if you -do- take him.">Janna looks at you>Her eyes so narrow you can barely make contact with themJa: "You think that sounds like a fucking choice?">Luna smirksJa: "Anon. You don't know shit about girls."A: "Fine. Be made at me. You got a right to be."

>Janna crosses her arms and listens to you for a momentA: "I put you up to this. Then fucked it up. Now I've accidentally Hitlered a race of goat-rocks and put you ass up for the magic you wanted. I'm...I'm sorry."Ja: "Anon. You already know -every- thing that you did was wrong...">She walks up to you>Shoves your chest with her fingersJa: "...and you fucking did it anyways.">She looks disgustedJa: "That's what's messed up. That you think you can just say what I want to hear. That it makes it ok.">She walks away>Looks up at the Goat

A: "Martha was killing people! I TOLD HER NOT TO!">Janna won't look at youA: "Janna!">She's only looking up

Ja: "Hey."H: "Ms. Ordonia.">The horned one leans down>His rectangular eyes glistenH: "A pleasure, lass.">Janna pulls backJa: "So you know me."H: "Aye. Even better. Now that I can see ya. I see a free heart.">He turns his solidifying head back and forthH: "A rich one too. Rich in spirit.">He grins his flat grinH: "In dreams of glory.">Janna swallows>Tries to speakH: "I can even see yer favorite color.">He looks to you>Winks

>You feel very un-needed all of a sudden>Luna pets your ear as consolation

https://youtu.be/u9bk2MrMGaA

Ja: "What can you teach me?"H: "Och. Plenty. I've many names and lived in many places."Ja: "What about power?"H: "Mine is the power of the wood. Of the unrestrained and free and jovial. Or the mischievous. Depends.">His whole body shakes as the wind rolls through it

H: "To dance in the grass again! To prance. Be naked inappropriate-like. To burn down weddings! Crash churches. That's my way, girl. Can ya handle it?"Ja: "I wanna burn down a lot more than churches. I want an adventure. That never ends.">She chases him>18+8 = 26!>Does a triple spin and flip over his shaggy headJa: "Can you handle ME?"

>>2557598Yeah I saw it coming, it's just annoying because it breaks what we know about her character and the fact it could've all been avoided if she told us she was trying to get out of the deal already.

Look we can either be mad about Janna being not upfront on her side and hiding the fact that martha was a murdering thot and we were responsible for that and hiding that she wanted to solve this solo, or we can move past it and let her come to the realization that she was unfair to us.

>>2557560In regards to Janna:>fuckin hell shit sucksChalk this one up to your own inability to really connect/understand people. Best to let things lay for now and hope for the best in the future. The way your life is, your paths will cross again.

Eh, whatever, screw Janna. She can get angry about us interfering with her or whatever, but frankly our fight with Martha is none of her business. Yeah, sure, we wanted to guarantee that Janna wasn’t going to get screwed over, but we had at least a few other reasons to check in with Martha, and her thinking that she was the most important one is just kind of conceited. What we did, frankly, was save some kids life and defend ourselves when the goat monsters that we killed’s mom tried to whack us. I don’t really see the problem with that. The fact that we indirectly nearly killed the Horned One wasn’t exactly a thing we could predict, in character at least.

Janna needs to suck it up. Okay, sure, her plan didn't get to cone to fruition and that sucks for her. It doesn't suck for the people who would have been eaten alive during the time it took for it to come to fruition. Does she expect us to sit back and allow innocents to die horrible deaths just so that she can get in some personal growth and be proud of herself?

She needs to put on some big girl panties and realize that her shit ain't gonna fly.>But Anon, you've killed loads of people!Yeah, and they were demon cultists planning in imposing their will over everyone else, government spooks who've tried to send us to some illegal blacksite or monsters who were already trying to kill us. We weren't luring some gullible dumb-fuck kids out to an abandoned church to feed our fucked up abomonation children with.

>>2557560In regards to feelings on Janna, Janna was acting like an idiot and we got concerned and curious. about Martha so we went to her to ask questions then she revealed she was insane and we reacted. Which apparently Janna know this whole time. If she wanted us to do nothing, she should've told us about what was going on and how she had it under control. But no, she acted like a lost child and we got concerned and the rest is history that happened regardless of Janna. If Janna wanted to be left alone completely she should've told us, end of story.

If Janna wanted Anon to butt out, she should have known that telling him to fuck off and acting weird towards someone who made a serious promise to protect her is the best way to make him get involved. If she explained it as her handling the situation Anon would have just been ok and let her deal with it until she asked for help. The problem is that she is too prideful to admit that she needs people to help her sometimes, and that she can't just be the lone wolf her whole life.

If she told anon we would have ganked Martha so fast Goatgod wouldn't even know he was dead.

If she didn't tell us we would go poke anyway, but she would have some time to deal with it.

She also hoped, just a little bit that we would respect her.

That was what she was faced with and she chose her path. She's really more mad we didn't respect her choice.

Now anon didn't do the wrong thing either, Janna was being really cagey and she acted in a way that broke our faith in her. Drugs, murder and anger all pointed to something going wrong. So we acted as we did and it ended this way.

This is a tragedy of communication. Neither party really expressed their feelings clearly and so it ended this way.

Now all we can do is choose how we feel and move on.>BUT WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IS ASKING GLOSSARYCK WHAT THE FUCK UP BLUE BOI! DID YOU FUCK OUR MOMMA!?

>>2557707We went to Martha's to talk about what exactly she did to get power. We only killed her because her kids were eating people. If not for that we would've gone on to talk with Jackie and then talk to Janna about it.

S: "Anon? What was that?">You're nearly shaking with rageA: "Janna being a BITCH is what it was.">Star looks at you with a bit of disdainS: "Anon. It looked like you were upset at each other but not like, fighting. What's the deal with the U-turn?"A: "I just wanted to make sure she was safe with this stupid patron I set her up with. The goat thing!"S: "Goat...thing?"A: "Yeah! It was making her eat heroin!"S: "What's heroin?"A: "The witch that was supposed to teach her was EATIN' GOAT PENIS!"S: "Well. That sounds gross b-"A: "FUCK JANNA!"S: "Anon."A: "I DON'T NEEEEEEED JANNA!">You scream off into the woods>Atreus shrinks on your shoulder>You sniffA: "I'm a dick."S: "A goat dick?">Star looks genuinely confusedA: "A fucking ass.">You grit your teethA: "I was just FIXING MY MISTAKE. Doesn't she GET IT!?"S: "Pretty sure she hooked up with the goat like you wanted?"A: "I was worried!"S: "Did you say you killed babies?"A: "Yes. Yes I did.">You point at the ashes everywhereA: "All these ashes. Horrible goat babies.">Star thinks for a moment>Slowly raises her wand at youA: "They were evil."S: "Oh. Ok!">You slap your forehead>Look over to Beth

>The Book>Glossaryck>It's goneA: "WHAT?!">THE BOOK AND GLOSSARYCK ARE GONEA: "WHAT THE FUCK!?">You leap into the portal>Muscles is a cork screw covered in blades>You're in a graveyard on earth>Most of the graves are torn up and disturbed>Your skelton's doing

S: "Anon w-GLOSSARYCK!?">Star turns her wand up>Letting it glow>A beam emits from it>You follow the beam to a pricey looking sedan just outside of the graveyard

S: "He's in there!">Star's already charging her wand>You recognize that car>From a night when you got tazed and shot at>The car has government plates

>>2557713It's not about what would have happened, it's about not robbing her of her agency.She said she had a whole plan in place, if we had gone to her and she still didn't say anything then i would see your point, but we didn't even give her the chance.And that first encounter doesn't count, you litteraly saw the phrase "goat cock" and flipped out.

okay so the first time we went up against the MIB they hit us with Pixie dust, which is anti-magic as shit. If we had time I would be all for hitting the car with something, but its moving away quickly and there is precious cargo inside. Too risky. Its very likely the car is enchanted or dusted in some way to prevent magic from hitting the car. I would mix pixie dust in with the paint and cover that thing with it.

A: "MOTHER."L: "Yes?"A: "FUCKER!"L: "I'd play off of that, but there's no time."

https://youtu.be/l8wWa3O9cUo

>Star has her wand charged by the time you start sprinting into the sky>With every stomp>Another shockwave of red>Gold>Black energy glides outward from your feet

S: "RUBBER OCTO-GRABBER BEAM!">A tentacle made out of shiny candy-like red elastic spews out of Star's wand!>It grabs the back of the car as it's cups give it the SUCC>You keep rising>If there were a way to levitate angrily>You'd be doing it>Your veins bulge and scream with energy

>Muscles absorbs your wand>Coils it into his meat>Once you're high enough

>YOU CHARGE MASSACRE WAVEA: "I'MMA FUCK YOU UP!"L: "Fuck it up, as they say indeed.">In your other hand you hold hate>HATE>HATE>Gravity based hate

ANONYMOUS!

ROLL WILL FOR YOUR GRAVITY ATTACK ON THE CAR!

THEN ROLL DEX!

To try and control your dumbass for firing a huge knockback spell with no grounding.

REMOVE AKU remove akuyou are worst demon. you are the demon idiot you are the demon smell. return to not posting. to our Aku-poster cousins you may come our thread. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha , Aku we will never forgeve you. demon rascal FUck but fuck asshole demon stink shit-roller..aku-poster genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead aku..ahahahahahAKU WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget akus rolls.Aku poster we kill the king , Good rolls return to your precious thread….hahahahaha idiot demon and sku smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE AKU POSTERS FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. Good rollers + good posters =kill Aku…you will die/ Good rolls alive in thread, good rolls making album of nat-20s. fast rap Good rolls thread. we are crit-success and have 20s now hahahaha ha because of Good rolls… you are ppoor stink aku… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt

Good rolls alive numbr one #1 in thread….fuck the aku,..FUCKk aku- posters no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. Good Rolls aliv and real strong wizard kill all the aku farm aminal with nat-20 magic now we the good-rollers rule .ape of the zoo aku poster the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and shitrools wa;s born. stupid aku form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. nat-20 rollers best rollers

>BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE>Your laser SLICES through the road>Debris and pipes and power lines go flying>Hundreds of houses lose power from your attack>The light of destruction>Is reflected in Atreus' beady possum eyes>He basks in it

A: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH">The issue would be that you're off target>WAY off target>Being weightless, you're rocketing around in the sky like a Chinese nuke>Headed straight down for Californian Soil>Your focus shifts>Your stomach heaves>You are immune to fear>You are not immune to bad choices

How many more people have to suffer for your ignorance?

>You see power transformers explode before you go face-first into the cement>Then you see cement>Because aforementioned>You go headlong into it

CRACK!

...

ROLL CON!

S: "Anon!">With you cracked and smacked the sedan is getting headway>You can't see it, but the sound of a fully alive although struggling engine is quite clear

S: "AAAAAAHHH!">She slaps into a light pole>Flies off>Lands in a bushS: "OOF!">A few raccoons flee from it>Atreus hisses at them from his perch on your back>They make gang signs

>You sniff vomit into the back of your throat>Shake>You can hear Star running back into the dark streetS: "Glossaryck! GLOSSARYCK!">It's too late>She runs down the street after the burning car>She's too slowS: "No! NOoononononooNOOO!">She has to stopS: "Anon...">She turns back to you>Her eyes wideS: "We lost him. I lost him...">You want to say something>Your ears feel like they might pop out of your skullS: "I lost my friend.">You throw up again>Your vomit is so lacking in food now you can see your reflection in it>A chunk of some mystery meat-looking substance sends ripples through your>Haggard>Empty>Angry face