Thursday, April 19, 2007

Imus, Cho and Cash

When MSNBC fired Don Imus, they wrapped the decision in a glorious civic edict that America needed healing from hurtful, mean language. As we know, CBS followed suit and forced Imus into radiotirement.

Of course, what Imus said was stupid, and unfunny, a far greater sin.

But last night, NBC and MSNBC revealed their hypocrisy when they made the decision to resurrect Cho and air his videos and pictures, while reaping huge ratings, and yes, ad dollars.

There was no possible gain for airing anything that nut bag had to say—while lonely parents mourn the loss of children they could not protect, NBC partnered with Cho to sell more Fords.

I do credit NBC for consistency—advertisers chased Imus off the air while advertisers salivated at the chance to air spots during the Cho videos.

But it had nothing to do with a higher civic duty—in both cases, MSNBC and NBC just followed the money.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Mr. Skinny kneels before the Tall One

I don’t know if my contact within the Barack camp is O’full of it, but Mr. 73% may tour Lincoln’s tomb during his Springfield Presidential announcement.

I had suggested earlier that all REPUBLICAN Presidential candidates must travel to papa Lincoln’s tomb to reflect on why we are Republicans and how we have deviated from the ideals of the party he created.

Apparently, one candidate really liked my idea: but it was DEMOCRAT Obama, who may beat every GOP pretender to the punch and launch his Presidency with Lincoln’s legacy and tomb as a backdrop.

I promise you this: if Barack tours Lincoln’s tomb, I may vote for the Skinny One.

I have always like him personally, but touring the tomb shows class and a reverence of history that transcends party lines.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Lincoln's Coocyx For Sale

Following the dumbest war in our history, spiraling debt, and the desire to peddle fear for political purposes, our Republican leadership has so fully disgraced the legacy of “our” Abe, that we should complete the rape, unearth the tall one and EBAY his clavicle, toe bone, rib tips, everythin--at least we call upon him once more to help reduce our national debt. For if a Lincoln letter can fetch one hundred grand, just think what we could get for his femur.

Too many fat elephants have been so seduced by profits, pensions and the seedy politics of winning at all costs, that they have forgotten about you, the people.

So a national GOP pilgrimage is in order--no not to that “Abe Lincoln West World” museum, where local legend says Lincoln once peed, but the hallowed ground of his actual tomb.

A grand tour is required to not only rub the brass nose of sad Abe, but to wander inside the dark, dank tomb and reflect upon A. Lincoln’s call for union “…with malice toward none, with charity for all”.

So let it be written, that all Republicans—including all 2008 GOP Presidential candidates--shall travel to the final resting place of Pa Pa Lincoln, the father of our party.

Once there, pledge to stop acting like self absorbed fools and begin to rebuild our party according to his ideals. For if we don’t start acting like Lincoln--Americans first, Republicans second—-we should dig him out, cut him up and hawk his 206 remaining bits to the highest bidders. At least then, he would respect us for our honesty.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Stroger, Blagojevich to Send Flowers To Foley

Once again, the sanctimonious GOP is caught with its pants down (and its fingers on the key board).

As you know by now, Rep. Foley plays with boys in his employ, sending them emails that violate the sexual predator laws he enacted. Just as sickening, several Illinois GOP leaders—who supervise the page program—apparently failed to do anything about the pedoterrorist in their closet.

So Illinois Dems will push this issue hard, reminding voters that the Illinois GOP talks about family values, but value hot pants and long showers more. This story will dominate the press’ attention for the next forty days, killing most other election related stories, forcing candidates to address this issue.

And when they do, Democrats will win, and Republicans lose, specifically Peraica and Topinka.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Last Stop Rockford

The Rockford paper is whining again—upset that the two major party candidates for Governor have ignored the Rockford Register Star’s request to host a debate.

Thumping its small chest like a teenage girl on My Space, the paper cannot understand why anyone would dis Rockford. "What are they thinking?" the paper whimpers. But you only get to demand debates, when you have something to offer.

Unfortunately, over the decades the leadership in Rockford, including the paper, have let its citizens down.

Quick…how many people live in Rockford:

a) 783,343b) 567,384c) 150,000(short music interlude)

Time's up! If you answered C, you are correct.

These figures put Rockford in the same category as Naperville, with 160,000 denizens, or Aurora, with 150,000 Aurorians.

Rockford’s plan for growth over the last 20 years has been to complain, whine and badger Illinois that they are the mighty City of Rockford. Please--for the benefit of all of our tired ears--cut the stoic, insular Swedish snobbery, extend the Metra line from Harvard to Rockford, and become a suburb of Chicago.

You might find that people visit Rockford—even candidates for Governor.

Monday, August 07, 2006

My Nephew

I know this is not the forum for family promotion, but my nephew Andy just got a video camera and made a movie during 4th period. He is Vice-President of the AV club and did a bang up job. How did he remember all those lines? You can view his movie here.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Tony, Don't be a Cmizdravac

But other than the chattering political junkies, nobody cares, YET. It’s the summer, baby.

The press will push the nepotism and anger angle for you. Stop being so indignant—you appear a little Allan KeyesISH.

Take a deep breath, smile AND charm the voters. How about some self-deprecating humor?

“When I first became a Commissioner, I still had some trouble understanding English, especially when people spoke really fast. So when Cook County employees said “Whoozen’M’Diddee”, I thought somebody had sneezed. Now I know they were asking “Who is MY daddy?”

If you are strident and angry all the time, Democrats will select the familiar name “Stroger”.

Better they go with the devil’s son they know, than the angry devil they don’t.

P.S. For the love of Jehovah, please donate to the Peraica campaign here.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Freedom

Americans are brave.

Born from strong stock that conquered a wilderness, fought off a colonial parent, and weathered a war between brothers, we have a rich history of strength in the face of adversity.

But in the last decade, we have become soft, frightened and spooked by the nebulous threat of terrorism. Of course, our government has stoked that fear, reminding us constantly of the boogey Muslim around every corner.

We must find strength in our history.

By conquering our rational yet over hyped, oversold fear, we might have a chance to return our government to its owners: We the People…

From illegal searches, seizures, surveillance and torture, the assaults on our freedom and traditions are legion. George the 43rd and his cronies have hyped fear to consolidate power in the executive branch—you are either with us or against us, he mumbled. And the monarchy began.

But King George is neither a Republican nor a conservative: he is the CEO in Chief, corralling us with memos from Homeland security. His intent to keep us safe is sincere, but his methods are wrong.

Instead, in the face of terror, he should remind us of our past. We are not lambs needing shelter; we are Americans requiring freedom.

Yes, a Jihadist may kill me; but I rather die free at the hands of a terrorist, then suffer a thousand cuts to our Liberty.