Positive guidelines for success

1. Know yourself. The better you know yourself, the better you will know your mate. Learn about sex and reproduction.

2. Share interests and goals. Do not become too independent of each other. Develop mutual friends, interests and hobbies. Tell your partner 'I love you' regularly at the right moments.

3. Continue courtship after marriage. Spouses should continue to court and desire each other. Going out regularly for romantic evenings and giving unexpected gifts (such as flowers) are ways to help this love relationship. Engage in some high-energy fun activities such as massaging and dancing.

4. Make love, not war. A good sexual relationship can take years to develop; so work at making it better. Explore the techniques of lovemaking without feeling shy or inhibited. This can be helped by books such as The Joy of Sex and videos on lovemaking. Good grooming and a clean body are important.

5. Cherish your mate. Be proud of each other, not competitive or ambitious at the other's expense. Talk kindly about your spouse to others—do not put him or her down.

6. Prepare yourself for parenthood. Plan your family wisely and learn about child bearing and rearing. Learn about family-planning methods and avoid the anxieties of an unplanned pregnancy. The best environment for a child is a happy marriage.

7. Seek proper help when necessary. If difficulties arise and are causing problems, seek help. Your general practitioner will be able to help. Stress-related problems and depression in particular can be lethal in a marriage— they must be 'nipped in the bud'.

8. Do unto your mate as you would have your mate do unto you. This gets back to the unconscious childhood needs. Be aware of each other's feelings and be sensitive to each other's needs. Any marriage based on this rule has an excellent chance of success.

Deal With Your Pain, Lead A Wonderful Life An Live Like A 'Normal' Person. Before I really start telling you anything about me or finding out anything about you, I want you to know that I sympathize with you. Not only is it one of the most painful experiences to have backpain. Not only is it the number one excuse for employees not coming into work. But perhaps just as significantly, it is something that I suffered from for years.