How Not to Promote Your Mediocre Action Thriller By Recalling 9/11

Yesterday, Mark Wahlberg taught us a very important lesson about movie marketing. I know what you’re thinking: “Of course Mark Wahlberg—action star, Entourage visionary, and the founder of innovative Boston burger joint Wahlburgers—has important lessons to teach us about movie marketing! That guy knows stuff.” Well, I’m sorry to say, dear readers, that this time Wahlberg taught us a lesson via negative example.

To promote this month’s mediocre thriller Contraband—you know, the one where Wahlberg ingeniously hides massive stacks of cash by duct-taping them to his abs—the actor sat down for a Men’s Journal cover-story interview, during which the reporter brought up the fact that Wahlberg had been scheduled to be on one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center. Wahlberg’s response follows.

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

So check out Contraband, in theaters now! Just kidding. Wahlberg’s statement is certainly one way of promoting a movie: zero in on exactly what people—especially people who had friends and family on board those ill-fated planes—wouldn’t want to hear, and then just say it into a journalist’s recorder. Unless you’re trying to start some kind of Chuck Norris meme about how unstoppably strong you are, however, this is a decidedly bad move. And even Chuck Norris knows that it’s too soon to start in on 9/11 remarks.

Update: Wahlberg has issued an apology for his 9/11 statement. We’re still waiting on one for Contraband.