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Sunday, October 21, 2007

I had grand plans for this weekend. "HAD" being the operative word. I overslept and missed church today. I teach Sunday school and I overslept. Good job. Then I signed up to help with Crop Walk at my church this afternoon. Last year after nearly keeling over as I finished the walk, I swore this year instead of walking, I'd volunteer to help prepare refreshments. Because I missed church, I wasn't sure what time the walk started, but my dad, who'd been in church this morning, informed me it was at 3:00. At 3:00, I pulled into the church parking lot to see walkers just finishing up. On the marquee was a sign that read, "Crop Walk Oct. 21st at 1:00 pm."

Great. I missed church and I missed the Crop Walk. Feeling like a huge loser, I came home. My mil, fil, bil, and sil had taken the five oldest kids to a corn maze, so my husband suggested we run out and get a bite to eat. We drove to a new restaurant in town that had just opened yesterday. At least that's what the sign said. It wasn't open. Next we drove to a little place at which we'd never eaten, but it was close so we thought we'd try it out. About a thousand motorcycles filled the parking lot. Now I have nothing against bikers, but I didn't really feel like going into a biker bar for dinner with my husband and baby, so we went on to a little Italian sandwich place. It was closed. Are you seeing a pattern with my weekend here?

Yesterday I fully intended to turn off the computer and clean my house. The kids dragged out Halloween costumes, I picked them up. My daughter found a pair of sparkly "glass slippers" that I'd made by gluing sequins onto a pair of Mary Janes, and she wore them around the house. With each step, several sequins fell off leaving behind a glittery trail. As I vacuumed the sequins, my son grabbed my open container of pop (or "soda" if you live in the north, or "coke", if you live in the south) and spilled it all over the counter tops, dripping sugary liquid onto the floors I'd just scrubbed. Do you ever have days like this? I swear I never sat down, but at the end of the day, you couldn't tell that I'd done anything! It's frustrating sometimes.

I cleaned one thing, the kids destroyed two more. Saturday continued pretty much like this until we went to our friends' house for dinner. It was pretty quiet, everyone was eating, talking quietly in between bites, when out of nowhere, Clay shouted, "Underwear!" He then when back to eating his chicken. (No, he doesn't have Tourette's Syndrome.)

When we finished dinner, the kids (there are ten between us) ran off to play while the adults stayed at the table talking. The kids put on a somewhat demented fashion show for us. We enjoyed seeing the boys parade downstairs wearing tiaras, Power Ranger costumes, glamorous rings, baseball caps, purses, scarves, and of course weapons of destruction. You can't have a glamorous Power Ranger princess without a plastic sword, dagger, or Nerf gun. This is common knowledge, of course. This strange parade of fashions went on until our friends' youngest son, (we'll call him Sean) came downstairs wearing an eclectic combination of clothing, carrying his sister's Dora doll, and wielding a plastic sword.

He went through the motions of "decapitating" the doll, then tossed it on the floor, took off his costume and his shirt and body slammed the doll a la pro wrestler. We watched in fascination. Then my friend, (we'll call her Jen) said, "I think kids just do what we only think about doing." We might think about taking out our frustrations, but we wouldn't dream of tearing off our shirts and actually body slamming someone into the floor! We might want to break the silence by shouting out, but we wouldn't actually yell, "Underwear!" during the middle of our meal. Kids are funny that way.

There's nothing better than sharing a meal, visiting with good friends, and watching our kids act like nuts.

94 comments:

Greta
said...

Clay, what a kick in the pants!! I'm sensing a very fun kid here!! Though your day didn't go as planned... you have a couple things to be thankful for. 1) Children which bring joy to your day- and yes, they do & 2) Friends that want to have you over for dinner. Hope the rest of your week goes better! God Bless!

Has anyone had any luck finding the ABC TV piece? Dawn...Just think of what you might accomplish if old-fashioned STOCKS and PILLORIES came back into use!I am a DADDY of just one...but I think mine could have bested all 6 of yours..I swear mine had jets where normal kids have sneakers. Anyhooo,soon my boy will be a daddy too..and that old adage"I hope when you have kids,they treat you etc etcwill soon come to pass!

Truly, the only thing better than watching kids dress up is seeing adults dress up. We hosted a murder mystery party with an 80's theme and I'm here to tell you it was hysterical. There's a picture of it over at my blog. Ah, the good times.

i HAVE HAD ONE OF THOSE DAYS. eSPECIALLY THE CLEANING PART. mY 2 YOUNGEST ARE TAZMANIAN DEVILS LIKE THAT. oNE DAY i WAS IN THE KITCHEN MAKING DINNER WHEN i SMELLED SOMETHING THAT SMELLED REALLY REALLY GOOD LIKE JUST AFTER MY HUSBAND GET S OUT OF THE TUB. i WENT INTO PANIC MODE omg MY HUBBY IS AT WORK I INCHED INTO THE DININGROOM TO FIND SHAVING CREME EVERYWHERE IN THE LIVINGROOM. THE TWO YOUNGEST RAN INTO THE HALLWAY. sHAVING CREAM COVERED THE FLOOR THE COUCH THE LOVESEAT THE tv!!! i WENT TO SEE WHERE THE BOYS WENT. i FOUND THEM IN THE HALLWAY IN CORNERS!!!!! mY DAUGHTER WHO IS 17 SAID mom LEAVE i WILL CLEAN IT UP. tHEN THE OTHER DAY ONCE AGAIN i SMELLED SOMETHING MY 15 YEAR OLD WALKED INTO LIVINGROOM AND THE HAD DUMPED A huge JUG OF DETERGENT ON THEMSELVES AND THE LIVINGROOM FLOOR!!! IT TOOK ME 2 HOURS TO CLEAN THE AREA RUG THAT WAS THE VICTIM AND IT STILL HAD DETERGENT IN IT. oH WELL!!! yESTERDAY i SAID TO MY DAUGHTER SEE WHAT YOUR BROTHER IS DOING hE WAS IN THE BATHROOM RARELY A GOOD THING!! aND SHE CAME OUT WITH OUR KITTEN COVERED IN SHAVING CREAM!!! wHAT MAKES THEM DO SUCH THINGS??? iF YOU EVER FIND OUT LET ME KNOW!!!!

I'm from Texas and I could never understand the whole pop soda coke thing. Especially the coke thing. When I ask for a Coke what I want is a red can with white letters that says Coke. Then when I feel like drinking a Mr. Pibb I ask for a Mr. Pibb. Why would you call that a coke too? When I visited family in Virginia they asked what I wanted to drink, I said a Coke and they asked what kind of Coke... What kind?! The kind that has Coke in it. Anyways, great blog, I like the whack-a-mole costume.

I have a Clay too, and he does the same thing. But normally it isn't a word it's a blood curling scream!! LOL, kids are so fun. Hope you have a better day!! Kids off to school so maybe some "Me" time!!

Once again... I'm laughing out loud! Thank you for bringing a little sunshine to my day. I'm a recently single mom of 3 (with a set a twins). I'm just wondering if my being a single parent with 3 kids equals 2 parents with 6 kids?? It sure feels like it sometimes!

"I think kids just do what we only think about doing." We might think about taking out our frustrations, but we wouldn't dream of tearing off our shirts and actually body slamming someone into the floor! We might want to break the silence by shouting out, but we wouldn't actually yell, "Underwear!" - Boy do I agree with this observation! Sorry you had so many mishaps over the weekend - but how nice to spend time with friends! See ya.

Clay shouted, "Underwear!" He then when back to eating his chicken. (No, he doesn't have Tourette's Syndrome.)OMgosh! This cracked me up. I have wanted to do something just like that every so often. Kids are great! :)

Now I've got to go get the house ready for our combination Birthday/BBQ party on Saturday. The one my wonderful husband (no sarcasm) thought he'd be able to help with Friday afternoon, except that his travel plans were changed and he won't be home until Friday night just before the obligatory soccer game.

Yes I have had days like that..many of them. My toddlers always seem to find a way to destroy when I clean. My husband will come home and be like..what did u do all day. I just look at him and say oh nothing..watching tv eating bon bons. txcasper.blogspot.com

Hi Dawn, I thought I,d leave a comment since I am the first. My son was so into power rangers a few years back. His birthday is in Sept. so he would get a costume. Of coarse it would be all stained and ruined by Holloween. So I would go by another one for the school party. Now he.s 11 and would never ever be caught dead in anything P.R. I think I could open a store on e-bay with all he owns! Have a Great day doing All You Do! Kristine in Michigan

Wow! I hope today goes better for you!Perhaps you needed the extra sleep to keep the sickies away. Maybe you can accomplish more with the older kids at school. Of course you may have to get creative with the younger children. Can they be your helpers?

Your friends sound like the best kind of friends to have...the type that approach parenting the same way you do, their home being a place where kids are permitted to be kids. Nothing's worse than going for dinner at someone's home, and feeling like your kids can't do anything right, because that home is so pristine, clean,non-childproofed and everything in sight is breakable or valuable and you have to be 'on guard' the entire time. Good, kick-back-and-have-a-good-time friends are the best type to have in my opinion.

I have a teenager and a toddler and many of my days seem just like this weekend was for you, only I must add a little teenage/boy-girl drama in the mix.....it's just joyful!!! Hope your week goes better.

Sounds like a draining but fun weekend. Mine went a little smoother. Hubby was home this weekend even though he didn't think he would be, so he had the little woman outside running off her energy most of the weekend.

Dawn - I'm one of the many, many moms that saw you on the news. What an inspiration you are to us all. I'm at a different place in life than you but I still enjoy reading your blog. I just sent my youngest off to college. You've inspired me to blog about the emptynester years (if there will be such a thing..lol), menopause and midlife. Unlike you, I'm a terrible writer so I'm not expecting the success you've had. I'm just hoping to help myself through this time by getting my thoughts down and maybe commiserating with any others out there going through this time in life.

Oh my goodness, you had a day like mine!! DD#1 came home from school with a rash, I spilled molten-sugar all over the kitchen, shampooed carpets only to have milk spilled on it later by the baby, as the laundry soured in the washing machine. Why does this happen!!Your day made me laugh, thanks.

Sounds like your weekend zipped by about as fast as ours did! We installed a door on Saturday, plus got food ready for the 25 people we had over for Derrick's birthday party on Sunday! I've slept through important stuff by accident before too. Like the time I accidentally slept until my boss called me to ask if I was coming to work... Not so fun. Doesn't it just seem to go like that though...one bad thing happens, then poof! It sets the tone for just about everything else! Hope things turn around for ya!

First time commenter (is that a word?) long time (2 months) reader!! I am having one of those days today! Nothing ever goes as planned when kids are involved!! Hang in there momma, we all love your stories!!! Keep em coming. Momma of 3 in OK

Hi! I'm a great fan of your blog, I think it's hilarious. I was just wondering if it was possible to create this as a RSS feed? I don't know if that's possible, but it would be great. Anyway! Have a great day, and good luck with the kids. :)

Dawn,Your weekend was like a few days of my week last week - my latest post is called DO YOU EVER WANNA JUST BITE THE DOG? You know - those things that frustrate us like nails on a chalkboard - or soda on a clean floor!

Dawn, your weekend sounds a tad like mine, minus 5 kids and church because I'm an atheist mom-to-one. But things just basically went pear-shaped for Crabmommy this weekend. Like you, I attempted to be useful and craftastic and even thought I'd make Crabtot (who is 3) a peacock costume for H-ween this w/e. I bought peacock feathers on eBay (hey, have you heard of eBay? :)) and then decided I would try to make a peacock hat out of felt and feathers.

Last year I dressed Crabtot as a tomato. I thought it would be fun for my kid to be an original, a tomato out there among the witches and goblins! Never mind that the "original" was only 2 and had neither a choice in the matter nor any idea of what Halloween was. But I digress. This year I had similarly grand plans to stop being the lazymommy I am by nature and start crafting up that fab peacock cap to follow up the smash success of tomato hat (red felt plus green felt stem).

But then the sewing store was closed. And Crabhubby and I both contracted colds. And Crabtot drove me up a pole with whining and mess and general preschooler- ghastliness. And then I thought to myself, nose dripping, head clanging, what the heck am I trying to prove with this Halloween nonsense?

I went out and bought her a cape and a broom, then shouted at everyone and went to bed for the afternoon.

So I guess I did achieve something this weekend after all.

Please if you are so inclined, stop by and follow the crabby, lazy, whiny musings of Crabmommy at Cookie magazine. Cookie is basically a fancy schmantzy mag that tells you hot to make your nursery look like a Modernist cube, but hey, they also let a person rant a little about momhood.

That will my new goal then--to shout UNDERWEAR in the middle of every meal. If nothing else it will confuse the heck out of the kids.

Dragged my DH to JoAnn Fabrics today. It's a good thing they know us there. As I was getting fabric cut, one of the other employees walked up just as I said to DH "You could dress as a hemorrhoid for Halloween".

She was still giggling when we left. And on the way out we accused the cashier of having no soul.

My name is Dawn also, I am the mom of 4 girls (10,8,4, and 2) and a new baby boy (3 months). I just want to say I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I can relate to so many things you talk about, it is just nice to know it's not just me going thru this stuff. I had a frustrating weekend of feeling like I was working hard, yet the house still looked like a tornado hit it by the end of the weekend. For a few hours, ok maybe minutes on Saturday afternoon, it looked clean. If anyone had stopped by during those minutes they would've been impressed. Of coarse no one ever drops by when the house looks like that.

Because I can be first, I will comment. I've been reading your blog since the e-bay ad and I just love the real life fun. ;-)

I also have 6 children ranging in age from 9 months to 13 years, so almost everything you write is *very* familiar to me. :-D

You asked if we ever have days like this...um...the better question might be when I *don't* have my day go that way. LOL! Seriously, it's such a regular occurence that I think everything being off or closed or broken is just expected and I really, really cherish those times when things work like they're supposed/planned to.

Sounds very similar to my life. Do you ever feel like you need a weekend to recover from your weekend? I've read your blog for awhile now and am a bit new at all of this, but you inspired me to give it a try. I guess I just needed a hobby, something that did not involve cleaning, preschool, or diapers. Thanks for the entertainment! Check out my new hobby. http://momof4girls.blogspot.com/

My weekend went the same way. Forgive my spelling, but my 18 month old belonged in a prehistoric zoo. She screached like a dang pterodactyl all weekend! Nothing pleased her. She was just mad. At what, I have no idea. But she pointed that finger at me and chewed me out every chance she got. By the time she decided to calm down it was 9:30 pm on Sunday. Oh well... Another weekend come and gone.. :) Have a good one.

Maybe I wouldn't yell out "underwear!" in the middle of dinner but when things get too quiet I have been known to suddenly look up and say "Boo!" or put on my prettiest airhead voice and flutter my eyelashes as I look at Honey and say those dreaded words "Whatcha thinking about?"

I am new to your blog and I have 4 kids, I really enjoy it because I enjoy it so much. Just wondering what religion you are, a few of my friends and I have bets going on, so if it's not too personal let me know.

OMG I can totally relate. I have those days all the time...well, at least it seems to me. The fashion show sounds great - and I agree about kids acting out what we only dream we could. I guess that's the beauty of being a kid.

LOVE how you understand the "coke" if you live in the south reference. Thank you! Some people just don't get it. Let's hope the rest of the week is less, er, colorful! :)

Your blog entry today is very interesting. Mainly because I do indeed want to tear my shirt off and body slam someone into the floor. I especially want to yell "Underwear!" while I'm doing it! I'm having one of those "two steps forward, one step back days" and my very last nerve is frayed. Also, it's very, very windy here in Tucson, AZ today and wind drives me absolutely insane!

Your blog is great! Thank you for the reminder about how to behave in a civilized society...

Hello! I liked the question the last person had. How do you get your web site on the ''check them out'' list? Also, I saw you on the World News. How do you make money off of your web page? I am starting a new page ''www.joyce-rowley.blogspot.com'' and I can't figure it out.

I love your blog and your sense of humor. I can tell you have a good heart but I wanted to say that I felt sad after reading your joke about Tourette's Syndrome and how everyone thinks it's funny. My daughter has TS and there is really nothing funny about it. It is a devastating illness for a child to have. Perhaps this will bring a little light on this tragic illness and that would be a good thing. Here is an excellent website: http://www.tsa-usa.org

I have to say how amazingly grateful I am that my children, while totally inappropriate, atleast curse when it is only appropriate, for instance, when dropping my mother's china on the floor and smashing it to bits and mutter "Oh Ship" under their breath... or something like that lol. They would never DREAM of saying "Underwear" at dinner out of the blue! Of course just give them another year under their respective belts. It is always good to have goals and idols. : ) I am quite sure Spaz is going to be a role model for my son. Have a great day and I hope potty training Baby will be easier than training my twin girls lol. HEAVEN HELP YOU!

I, along with everyone else, loved the art review. A real education! My five go through so much paper I might be single-handedly responsible for some of the environmental crisis our world is in. We try to recycle, but it's still remarkable just how much paper they can go through.

Or, they just go with the body-as-canvas theme, like you said. (See photo near the bottom of this post):http://andillraiseyou5.blogspot.com/2007/10/homework-hell.html

So I was actually doubled over bursting out with laughter while reading the fashion show descriptions. Now mind you my two children are in bed as is my husband so I am trying not to burst out, so that starts me crying and bursting up instead. I don't think that helped my problem.

Ohh, yes and I know that you wrote this post many days ago, but I am trying to get caught up here. I am in awe of how you find time to write daily. Thank you for sharing your amazing life with all of us.

I have had days like your weekend. It is awful you just feel like you are never going to get ahead and get anything accomplished. Praise the Lord that his glories are new in the morning and we can leave the previous day behind us.

Oh boy! When I read how you made your kids clean up it reminded me about something I wrote the other day! I now know I AM NORMAL! hahahaha I was cracking up!

7 a.m. ME: wakey wakey sweetie! Mommy loves you! SON: Noo Im tired ME: I know me too! I love you SON: Im sick and Ill miss you I shouldnt go to school ME: AWWW! Ill miss you too what do you want for breakfast SON: I WANT A BATHme: no time2. 7:15 a.m. ME: I SAID WAKEY WAKEY! Breakfast is done hurry up and eat!SON: NOt fair! ME: life isnt fair! get up hurry!3. 7:40 ME: HURRY UP AND EAT DAMNIT! SON:I AM!4. 7:50 ME: OK YOURE DONE! WE HAVE TO LEAVE SON: No! Im not done I havent even finished! ME: TOO BAD ! we are out of time! get up and brush your teeth and get dressed! SON: FINE! Now I will starve! You dont even love me! ME: shoulda thought about that! HURRRRRRRY! We are late for pre school EVERY DAY! Do You WANT me to go to jail?!?!?!5. 8:10 ME: Alright who wants a spanking!?!?! Im done talking after 8:10 a.m. EVERY MORNING!!! I then cut strips of duct tape to put over my mouth for the day! same exact ! word for word! hahahahaha