Hiram's been charged with three counts of felony assault for an incident last December. Allegedly, Hiram threw a glass at his girlfriend's face. She required 20 stitches. She told hospital staffers that Hiram attacked her, and then later signed a sworn affidavit claiming the whole thing was an accident, because who among us hasn't accidentally tripped while bringing our girlfriends glasses of water during arguments, watching in horror as the glass slashed our girlfriend's face, near the left eye, and then taken her not to the closest hospital but to one we think may be outside of city limits, because, uh, that's what she told us to do, sure.

Surveillance video from inside Monserrate's apartment building showed him yanking Giraldo by the arm as she clutched a stairway banister. It also caught her banging on a neighbor's door while screaming for help, prosecutors said.

Yes, right. Monserrate faces up to seven years in prison, if convicted.

Daily News commenters are currently referring to the State Senator as "MonsterRat," so there is some good news, in this terrible story.