Monday, December 14, 2009

###DISCLAIMER###Debby - you may go straight to the comments section and talk about Copenhagen. I really don't think it is in your best interests to read this one. It involves a word starting with the letter S and is something you really don't want to read about.

Today, Nana (my mother), who has been with us for a week to look after 'Salina should I have the unborn whilst school was still in, packed up and took 'Salina out to Granite Glen. She will return when the baby is born.

This means tonight is the first - and possibly the last - child-free evening for some weeks.

You know what this means?

Curry...

V and I were in the kitchen, preparing for our feast.

I had cubed and salted eggplant and chopped many vegetables. V was doing the same with pork.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Eddie go past. I automatically checked his bowl and added some dried.

Some 5 minutes later, our early chores in the kitchen completed, we moved into the living room.

Suddenly V turned around and told me to get out of the house!!

What he had seen and I had not was Eddie was playing in the living room with his latest toy - obviously all the craze at the moment - a baby brown snake...#

While there may have been a nanosecond of two of indecision about me leaving my mate in the path of danger and endorsing a policy contrary to my feminist leanings*, common sense prevailed and continuation of species was ensured. I fled downstairs and out to the front of the house, so I could remotely monitor the battle between freaked out husband, snake and cat.

I could hear V. There was the occasional utterance of a colour phrase or two regarding the stupidity of ginger cats, placement and awkwardness of furniture and piles of "stuff" in the living room and advice to the reptile.

Then there was a long silence.

"Honey" I piteously wabled, mentally working out what I should do in regards to all number of catostrophic possibilites.

A pregnant pause.

"Honey" a little bit louder.

Finally I hear a drawer and the reassuring snap-snap of the tongs - long-handled tongs, I would have surmised based on the tonal quality fear-factor inherent in the situation.

V came to the window and explained the situation and momentarily bemoaned the lack of following through an earlier idea of actually acquiring the local snake-catchers' numbers, all the while checking over his left shoulder for the baby brown to stir from behind a large desk.

Mid-sentence, he swivelled and was gone from view.

Eddie appeared around the side of the house, cool as a cucumber. He came and rubbed against my legs like it was perfectly normal for the two of us to be sharing the front yard of an early evening.

A strange hissing sound came from the house. I contemplated whether snakes really did hiss as per the cartoons - all snakes in my history have not, but that is not conclusive proof.

Then again came the hissing, and it was definitely not of the herpetic variety. A strange smell accompanied the sound.

Then there was banging, then there was banging and hissing, then there was banging and hissing and snap-snapping.

Eddie completely ignores this and attempts to lay a whole heap of love on me.

A finale then silence.

Emerging on the balcony was a victorious V, tongs aloft with the snake. As he came downstairs and across to where the snake was disposed of, Eddie attempted to walk off as if there was nothing at all concerning in this scenario.

I grabbed the felonious feline and carried him upstairs, ready to rouse as soon as I had him safely locked within.

I quickly cooked up the base ingredients of the curry and then added the magic Hot Singapore Curry Sauce and covered the curry to cook through.

Dinner was delicious, the cat is completely freaked out, for some reason imagining the snake is still in the house.

* I saw a tea-towel in a dollar shop today. It would have been worth a blog and may be in the future, but the short version is it was branded "Feminist Tea-Towel" and wasn't. V got the full version of the vent...

Oh - and the hissing - Fast Knockdown apparently is an inspirational choice for snake-bamboozling.

Oh, and forgot completely to say "Snake in the house?!!!!!!!!!Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Doing some googling, I revise: Snake in the house?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A snake that is the leading cause of snakebite and death in Australia?!!!!!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Well done, V.)

This blog and all comments should come with a warning "Do not read while you are supposed to be slaving away at work. Causes silent hysterical laughter. Also Before reading--do not load up on liquids if you have a weak bladder." That Eddie knows how to get your attention!!!!

Loving your Copenhagen info there, Novel Woman ;), the name suggestions are perfect for when the dalingling one ceases to keep us dalinging and Jeanie gets up close and personal with Thor.Mind you the ice bergs are excellent home delivery for ice in celebratory drinks, Debby...;)

Now why didn't I check this blog out before this evening, night? Thank you Jeanie! I'm so glad to have you (and your bloggy friends, like Debby and ANW to liven up the diaphragm tremors and tear ducts. Bless you one and all!

My youngest daughter reported to me within the hour that she's set on "go" for her own "L" word to begin. It's her first so s'all new.

Best wishes for an easy and time with your "neighbor"--and not of the slitherie brown variety. Bytheway, did V sizzle the "sb" to create the hissing noises you heard outside? Just wondering.

Great, Jayne. I've got glasses. We need to keep an eye on NW though. I've got a notion that she the sort to get all liquored up and make a scene. Betcha her purse is full of Guiness. Anybody got some of them little horse derver thingys?

Trish - that would be a polite version of the memories of the snake... I think your word verification is about some of the comments that have surfaced.

BB - I think that the post is now actually quite peripheral to the comments section.

Kate - I am hoping that Eddie is so freaked out that snake and Eddie will not ever appear in a blog together again...

ANW - the advice was for readers who have indicated bladder control requirements when reading shenanigans within this comments section.

Corymbia - hot curry INCLUDING magical ingredients have been consumed - I would HATE to be a midwife because pregnant women fart... a lot... (allegedly)

Debby - have you got your copy of Fawlty Towers yet? Basil!!!

Jayne - I will have a sparkling water on the rocks, please.

Kashonia - I am glad you have a refined cat - because you have some very interesting snakes there...

h&b - if the eggplant curry (2 nights in a row - added spanish twist on the second) doesn't come through, I may have to use that.

Oh Kathie, if I told my daughter about your daughter working on a horse stud, she would be soooo envious!!

PW - good luck to your daughter! The hissing sound was a can of raid, apparently.

Debby, Jayne and NW - you guys will be absolutely sloshed by the time baby comes if it waits until the last possible date - it could take until the 21st apparently. PW has some jalopeno thingies wrapped in bacon that might be nice?

Jeanie, dear, you say 'sloshed' like it's a bad thing. Okay. I can bring some Christmas cookies. They'll go so well with the jalepeno bacon thingies. And if I'm coming, I'm bringing a hoe. Hoes are handy for hacking at snakes. I'll bring my own can of Raid, Jeanie. And how about I bring a nice zinfadel. I'll get a jug. How many do we have coming?

Jeanie, I think us being sloshed would give you time to go do the L thing, get over Thor, name Marge, Hansel or Dalinging Child of Honour, return home and we'd be out of your way the whole time....exshept when it *hic* came time to wet *hic* the babiesh head *hic*.Ohh, jalopenosh, nicesh *hic* !