What I Wore: Summer Boho

Sometimes I feel like I was supposed to have been born an Olsen. Like the 4th fat one, who’s super excited for her sisters’ successes, but has no interest in Hollywood and instead stayed home to work at a bank or something. The boho gene is strong in me. I have fun dressing up in girly dresses and sexy heels every now and then, but Coachella Ohio is my jam. Flowy, earthy and easy.

Since I don’t embrace shorts, I have to look for other ways to keep cool and show some skin in the heat, which I’d prefer not to do, but it’s already hitting 80 every day here for reasons that have nothing to do with those polar bear skeletons over there. Even as I type, a tiny bead of sweat is rolling down the center of my back into the waist of my jeans. It’s going to be a long summer.

I never thought cropped shirts were an option for me. I keep walking into stores lined with cropped shirts and sheer tops and throw my hands up in the air in defeat. That’s okay, y’all, fat girls don’t need clothes this season. I mean, sheer shirts? Yes please, if there is anything I want, it’s more layers, because I physically need to add more bulk and additional layers of fabrics to sweat through. Wait, maybe that’s the plan? It looks like fashion, but it’s really those suits wrestlers wear to make them sweat to make weight? It’s a conspiracy! As for cropped shirts, well, obviously. I really didn’t see how they could work on me because I easily jack my jeans up to my bra line, and if anything, they’d only highlight my stretch marks and camel toe. But while in Target the other day, I accidentally took one back with me to the dressing room and tried it on for fun. Surprise, surprise, liked it! With the right bottom proportion and cut, I can totally rock out a cropped top. I paired it with a maxi skirt that sat high enough to disguise my trouble spots and loose enough to not squeeze me in creating a muffin top. I may not wear it to school functions or out to dinner, but a weekend at the farmer’s market or grilling with friends, it’s on.

It’s amazing that so much of my wardrobe these days revolves around denim. I’m not ashamed to admit that I own somewhere in the area of 7 denim shirt dresses. But to be fair, they are all different washes, which makes them applicable for an array of occasions. I have just as many denim button-up shirts. It’s like I’m spending a lifetime preparing for a cowboy movie that hasn’t happened yet. City Slickers 3? Anyways, I love them, and they can be a quick substitute for an otherwise boring arm cover option, like a cardigan or shrug. It’s also a great way to spice up an otherwise predictable outfit. Here we have another maxi skirt that I totally fell in love with, and instead of defaulting to a black tank top I’m mixing it up with a knotted denim shirt. I feel ridiculously sexy in this outfit, and in this heat, couldn’t care less about the stretch marks on my stomach or my back fat or the way my tummy folds in half when I’m sitting down, related, nobody looks good sitting down, get over it.

As previously mentioned, I have a thing for the gorgeous hand embroidered dresses they sell in Mexico. I love the colors and intricacy, and yeah, the fact that it’s a shapeless sack I can comfortably sit around on the couch in all day eating pizza rolls. The problem is, they are a really awkward length for me; they hit about mid shin, which is not flattering. Do I shave my whole leg? Just to my knee? There is no clear cut answer except, you know, it’s a shitty length. The purple is gorgeous, and I wanted to take this dress from something I shame ate in, to a cute summer outfit. With the supervision of my mother, I set about hemming the dress to a more attractive length, which is the first time I have ever used a sewing machine in my entire life. I once hemmed a pair of pants with staples and rubber cement. This is a big deal. And I love the hell out of this dress.

Embroidered Mayan Dress, Riviera Maya, 257 pesos

P.S. Looking for amazing anti-chub rub solutions? I recommend rubbing your thighs with a stick of regular Dove Powder Fresh deodorant or Monistat Anti-Chaffing Gel (bonus, this doubles as the exact equivalent to SmashBox Primer and works as a GREAT make-up primer for way less!)

Comments

You look awesome and I’m totally jealous. Even after losing 50 pounds my stomach folds over on itself…..while standing….. so belly baring is not for me even though I love the look. Thank you for these fashion posts, I’ve tried things I never would have, and looked good, if it wasn’t for you doing it first!

Please style me for my honeymoon to mexico! Dying to look as effortless and chic as you.. so far shopping has been a bust. Going to go out on my lunch break and try to find that tye-dye skirt.. too cute!

Does it last? I am sweaty, just like Brittany, and find that stuff wears off after a while and I end up with my inner thighs on fire (not in a good way) and swollen from rubbing too much. I’ve tried Monistat and Body Glide but they don’t last on me.

I had resigned myself to wear hose year-round (I cut it to length) but would love to have an alternative.

I’m normally right there with you (like, I have that exact tie-dye maxi skirt) … but I have to completely disagree with you on the sheer shirt thing. At least for me, a nice, fairly fitted cotton tank underneath a flowy sheer top hides the lumps and jiggle while still allowing plenty of room to breathe and stay cool. I’m wearing one today, in fact!

For sure, I am just too hot of a person. I layer the hell out of my life every other season, but summer I am all sweat mustaches and underboob sweat. And it seems like even when a top doesn’t look sheer online, it comes and boom, sheer. I wish I could get flowy and not sheer. That is my goal at the moment.

I feel like my fashion sense has been validated. I have that tie-dyed maxi skirt! I wore it to a baby shower with a fuchsia camisole and an apple green denim jacket and got lots of compliments, but seeing it here really makes my day!

I think because I wear a bikini in an expected environment for tummy exposure. Crop tops seemed scarier to me because it was just walking around in public, around people not in crop tops. It’s just a slow process for my brain, I guess. I’m so totally getting there piece by cropped piece:)

In terms of chub rub, I’ve been using this thing called Body Glide. It looks like deorderant, but it’s basically a stick of leg wax. It doesn’t disappear as much with the leg sweats. I usually don’t have to reapply during the day, and it’s only $10 at Sports Authority!

My tummy folds in half when I sit down too. I’m over it. I think you’re adorable and have awesome fashion sense at reasonable prices. Thanks for the post. BTW, if you wanted a little more length on that Mexican dress, which is the cutest thing ever, just add a lighweight extender slip. I sewed my own with some lacy trim from JoAnn’s on a thin slip that I found at Target. All straight stitches and it’s done in 10 minutes. It’s cute with the lace sticking out from beneath the dress hem and bing bang boom you have a longer hemline. Have fun!

Hell, MY tummy folds in half when I sit down, and I just had the shock of my life of learning from my doctor that I am about 8kg’s UNDERweight for my height..! (nowhere near intentionally: I would love to weigh more, but my thyroid problem seems to take care of weight loss for me with or without my permission) I think tummies just do that unless one finds a way to photoshop oneself in real time…!

Gosh, I wish I could show my tummy but I can’t. I’ve never had kids but my stomach has always been my biggest problem area (literally). I was a super skinny kid, but the moment I hit puberty, I started gaining weight like crazy and probably had stretch marks within a month.

I’ve lost a good amount of weight, and took my time doing it, but my belly button still looks like an upside down smile, and I have a roll right above it that won’t diminish with diet or exercise

Until I can afford a tummy tuck, I will continue to wear shapewear year-round. Ugh, I hate wearing those things in the heat of summer.

Jockey makes a slip short (like a slip but a short) that is wonderful for that thigh rubbing together problem. Very comfy and light. I know you’re not looking for extra layers but guess what? They have “wicking” technology like workout shorts (but lighter material). Just ordered 3 pairs for this sticky Chicago summer coming up. Amazon, yo.

I was recommended to your blog by a friend and have SO enjoyed reading as much as I can! You are amazing to follow and I love seeing your fashion! How, HOW do you get such a natural red color? I have wanted to do that for so long but my little town hair dressing shop and I need help in communicating lol.
Jess

This is the first I’ve heard of any anti chafing products other than powder. These would have been wonderful to have had eons ago when I was in marching band in high school for practice on school days. This was back in the day when slacks weren’t allowed at school. My mother came up with the solution of wearing a pair of old fashioned underpants that had legs about five inches below the crotch. It was a perfect solution, but if anyone had seen my underwear, I’d have been mortified.

Yes, indeed, the Monistat Chafe Gel (which this Canadian girl has to stock up on every time she’s in the States) is the poor woman’s SmashBox.

[Not directed at you, Brittany:] TARGET! What is WRONG with you? Coming from a rabid Floyd fan, this is the least Floyd shirt I’ve ever seen. Give me some bricks, prisms, flying pigs, and marching hammers. Hell, I’ll even settle for the crazy half-faces from the Division Bell. Sheesh.