Date: Mon, 1 May 2000 11:02:47 EDT
From: ZELGADYSS@aol.com
Subject: Re: Brian's Seven Sea's of Loneliness 22-24
OK this is my first time at a story like this, I have read many from the
archive and loved them. This is about ME, MY life, and MY fantasies with
Brian Littrell and the BackStreet Boys. I am in no way implying anything
about the sexuality of the BackStreet boys, and if your not 18 GIT! Enjoy
and please send mail to Zelgadyss@AOL.com with good or bad comments on the
story. Just remember its my first time, and any resemblance to other
stories I am sorry it's coincidental and quite on accident.
Part 22....Oh My God, what HAVE I done. They broke up, they're broken.
Someone get the glue! LOL. Ok, sorry, bad pun. Anyhow, Just a few things, I
want to thank all the readers that keep me going. All the people whom have
written me, to critique, and help me along. Someone had said the story was
getting deeper. Because it really is. I've come to so many new
understandings about myself, life, the world around me, human behavior, and
more so my behavior. And so this is very much a learning experience for me,
almost a diary of sorts of me growing into my own, and I'm glad your
sharing this experience with me. Most times when I write and re-read it
after it posts, I find new things I had forgotten were there, and a lot of
times when I write, I'm conscious, But something else is writing, almost
like I am here and I'm not at the same time. I thank you all for pushing me
forward to learn what I truly felt and didn't know. And had I not wrote,
I'd never have met some of the best friends life could ever offer a man.
You've all helped me in so many ways, more than I could ever explain.
Especially you James. Whenever I wanted to shut the whole world out, you
just refused to let me shut you out, and little by little I am hiding less
and less in my shell. And Allen, you've shown me how to take myself a
little less seriously, and act my age, not my mental capacity J and all the
rest of you, you know who you are, yuli (Who we ALL want to see writing J )
Scotty, Loner, and all the rest, I thank-you. You've all inspired me in
your own ways, and left a lasting impression on me, helping mold me into
the person I eventually hope to see looking me back when I look in the
mirror.
Brian's 7 Sea's of Loneliness
part 22 by Jon
I still sat at home, about a week now since I arrived. I've started
getting into a normal routine, calling people, and letting everyone know I
was OK. Me and James had several conversations about random
stuff. Everything and nothing all came together between him and I. He
seemed to be able to read me as well as any one person ever could, and at
times it was funny how he'd know what I was thinking. I just smiled as I
looked to my closet. Empty. Just as I remembered it. I had been home long
enough to talk a lot of things out, and I did a lot of writing. Slowly my
body was healing from its ordeals, and my mind was also healing. Almost as
if that island was meant for me to crash there. I could still smell the
salt in the ocean water, and I could still feel the gentle breeze. A part
of that cove will never leave me. It gave me a sense of peace within. It
was a place in my heart I could go and just let the tension ease away from
me.
I still had Brian on my mind, in fact the majority of my thoughts
were on him. I had heard from Nick twice, he seemed to be doing better and
I talked to all the guys for a bit, letting them all know I wasn't
deserting them in any way. That no matter what would happen with me and
Brian, that I would always be there as a friend for them all. No amount of
hurt and pain could keep me from friends. And that they were some of the
truest friends I had ever had. I had also realized before all these
happenings, that I was just floating through life, hoping to be hit with a
lightning bolt or something to tell me what I was supposed to do, and where
I was supposed to go. What I was supposed to do. And little by little I was
realizing I didn't need the bolt, it was as simple as looking inside
myself.
I knew that deep down I wanted to be with Brian, and I also knew
that writing was more than a hobby for me. It was something that had gotten
me through the tuff times. And it was through my writing that I finally
admitted that it wasn't my fault I wasn't loved as a child. There was
absolutely nothing more I could do to make them see. I did what was needed
to make my family survive, and it wasn't my fault. My writing had seen me
to so many of my dreams, and even to see love. Its funny how you find
things you never knew you were looking for, and they were there all
along. Like a 10 year old, learning to ride a bike, or a 16 year old
learning to drive. I felt that euphoric feeling that I was finally doing
things I never had before. I was living. But I wasn't living to live, I was
living to be happy. And there was something so uplifting about it. Almost
like I could feel a visible weight being lifted off my shoulder. "It's not
my fault" but yet I didn't seem to accept this, and I don't know why. But
now I can. It just wasn't my fault, never has been and now I can stop
taking all the baggage of moms and let her have it. I can stop worrying
about keeping her safe and happy and start keeping me safe and happy. All
those years, I just curled up inside and all but died, and let her do what
ever it was she needed. Drink, toke, what ever. But now I could stop
worrying. I can finally live for me, and not live to keep her alive. Its
almost weird when I look back, where its usually the parent emotionally
supporting the child. Such was really never the case in my house.
But it's not my fault, and it feels so good to just say it. I feel
like I could scream it to the world. I felt like I could take on the
world. I felt a new sense take over me. It was me, I finally found myself,
when I never realized I was lost. It was just living for other people, and
doing what made them happy, trying not to inconvenience, and just follow
the grain. I put a smile on my face as I was making my phone calls, and
people almost seemed taken back a bit hearing it in my voice, but I just
kept going never missing a beat. I knew what my next steps were as I
started calling the bosses and getting things planned for my return to
work. I really did love my job with the guys, with or without Brian, I was
working with the best friends I could ever have asked for. All this time I
felt so alone, only because I believed I was. I stopped letting the god and
goddess in, and I stopped letting my friends in. I just stopped letting the
people that meant the most to me into my little world, and now it was time
to change. I literally felt like I underwent a physical change.
As luck would have it, they had to make a special appearance out
here in Boston for a few days in 2 weeks, which made it easier to meet back
up with them. And I asked for this to remain between us, as I wanted it to
remain a surprise to the guys that I was back. I started preparing, I had
never really unpacked much, so I would be more or less ready to go when the
time came. This was my chance to start over, be with friends I would now
have a family, and I could finally let go of all the past, and move on. A
little at a time, but it was happening, and I could feel it. I could almost
feel the rays of light cascading on my body, rolling over me, washing me
clean of all my worries, fears, and letting me go of the chains that held
me. I had found what I never knew I lost, when what I lost was myself. And
as hard as it seems to realize you lose yourself, I had. Lost myself into
getting accepted, and fitting in. Instead of being me. Well now life helped
me see I had direction all along as a small kid, I just needed to wake up
to it. So I started preparing.
**********Orlando, the guy's coming home from the conference
It was a grim flight. No one really deviated from their own
thoughts, almost as if they were being driven by schedule, Having done the
plane ride home so many times. They were acting on the regularity, and how
easily this had been done. Had it not been so rehearsed over the years,
they'd have been in trouble. They waved and put on smiles for the crowds as
they stepped off the planes, but inside, and in their minds, they knew it
was a facade. But it was their job, and life went on, and they had few
choices here. Brian seemed taken back a few steps from the rest of the
guys, He seemed withdrawn, with good reason, but all the guys could do is
look on as he went through his grievance. It had been the same flight they
always took, but it seemed longer as tension dwelled and now, the walk to
the limousine seemed to even take forever. Brian was seeing things in slow
motion. As the guys talked, he wasn't gathering what was being said. He
wasn't comprehending really much of anything, while they grabbed their bags
and went to the limo.
As the guys walked, Kevin made his way to the back of the group to
walk with Brian. Nick started slowing up to be with Kevin and Brian till he
saw a look in Kevin's eyes, as if asking him to back off just a bit. Nick
took the hint and started a conversation with Howie about Gracie to see how
things were going, and soon after hearing Gracie's name, AJ popped into the
talk. Kevin was going on with Brian about time healing all wounds, and in
time things would work out not to give up. He had said stuff to the point
that Jon had just left for awhile to get himself together, and to think
things through, and then he'd be back. Kevin also knew they were having a
special stop in Boston in 2 weeks, and started to try and figure out a way
of getting in touch with Jon. He knew a lot the guys didn't. But this was
one he wasn't sharing in case he couldn't get Jon to go, or even find him
for that matter. It was then he realized how little he and Jon had
talked. And remembered the Hospital scene. He almost smiled, if he hadn't
realized how sad Brian was from looking he would have smiled.
AJ and Howie just went on and on with Nick, about how great Gracie
was. They had started telling Nick of all the things they did in the two
weeks in Boston, Nick hardly remembered having done anything but share the
time with Kevin. He remembered Brian taking care of Jon to, as a stray tear
escaped his eye thinking how much those two needed to be together, then
thought of how he and Kevin came together, it was almost like an irony. He
got what he loved, at the expense of Brian losing his love. Then he woke
out of his trance to hear AJ and Howie ask at the same time "So which one
of us do you think Gracie will want to go out with...be honest." Nick
smiles his devious smile, as he looked at them with a straight face "I
think Jon mentioned her having this WILD crush on Kevin, so I think she's
joining US for a threesome!" Kevin looked across the limo in surprise at
Nick, and slapped him, hard, on the leg. "NICK! I'm not sharing you. She
can find her own Nick!" With that Kevin went back to consoling Brian, and
AJ and Howie had a look of total shock on their faces. "she is not, she
wants me in the WORST way." AJ piped in. Howie had to have his say of
coarse "Nope, she wants me to romance her with my sweet voice." He smiled
figuring he won.
With that Brian actually cracked a smile, trying his best to keep
his hopes up. This was just Jon getting away to be an individual. He had to
believe that, let that carry him. At least for the time being, and cross
any other bridges when they got there. Tho he couldn't get Jon's face out
of his memory, he almost preferred it so he would always have a piece of
Jon in his heart, and mind. "Well guys were almost home. What's up first?"
Brian asked. "Well we can go easy and just chill at the house, or clubbing
what are you up for Brian?" Brian smiled and looked at Nick as if asking
and Nick nodded. So Brian answered them "Shopping and Basket Ball." They
all laughed, as did Brian, and they started packing the stuff from the tour
away, and went to the mall. It was just too funny.
After a few hours of shopping and Nick buying out another shoe
store, the guys headed back to the secure apartments place, and headed for
the Basket ball court, for a nice few games of 2 on 2, with the 5th to
rotate in as one got tired or needed water. The evening was nice, the sun
was gradually setting leaving a hue of reds and purple's in night sky,
there was a slight breeze, just enough to take the edge off all the
running, and the temperature was a nice 60* which was unusual for the
Florida residents. While it was Nick's turn out, he dialed a number on his
cell phone, a bit away from the guys so no one knew who he was calling. He
heard and answering machine pick up and left a short message sniffling a
bit. Then he quickly closed the phone after saying Bye Jon. Brian came
behind him, and said he was in. "Nick your up." This startled Nick, and he
tossed Brian the phone, as he jumped into the game.
Brian started to get a bit flustered as if on the verge of another
breakdown, and looked down at the phone. He opened it up, and hit re-dial,
feeling a twinge of regret, and then guilt..but he had to. To at least have
Jon be the guys friends. He screwed up, his friends shouldn't suffer. So he
started talking to the machine too. As he said good-bye Jon, a few tears
stained his face. He turned to see AJ there, and AJ just gave him a hug.
"It'll be OK Brian, really it will. Things will work out in time.
Brian's 7 Sea's of Loneliness part 23 by Jon
It had been Almost 2 weeks here in Worcester. It was a boring 2
weeks. I caught up on all those insane emails, and called my friends. I
went out with Kate to go shopping, and me and James talked on the phone for
an hour or so on most nights. As much as I loved my house, after all the
excitement of being on tour with the guys, everyday living lost its
"everydayness" to the hectic running around, savoring the 1 or 2 days off
every 2 weeks. I learned to live for the day, and for the time you have. It
was always something going on, and anytime I wanted off, I could just up
and go out, unless they needed full security staff. And then there was the
fact that I was needed. People treated me as a equal, and wanted me
around. I wasn't there cause the company hired me, and sent me there, I was
there because they wanted me there.
I kept thinking back to the first time I met them. Even with the
glasses on, AJ was quite obvious in what he wanted. Brian seemed so
innocent, and sweet. I made sure I made them introduce themselves as if I
had no clue who they were. I think that set the pace for the whole
friendship, the fact that I looked to them as normal people, instead of
pop-superstars. I treated them the same way. And told them flat out that's
how it worked. I think I got Kevin's attention when I went into his room,
and showed him that I wasn't a pushover. I remember my stomach wanted to
heave the whole time, I was never good at confrontations. But I wasn't good
at failing either. When I knew something had to be done, I just did
it. Plain and simple. And freaked out after everything was said and done. I
remember the shocked look he had. I knew deep down tho, if I hadn't gone in
their that I would never have his respect. If I didn't he may have said to
Brian to keep me away. At least no matter what happened I was in control
there. If he wanted me gone, I could make it look like my fault, and then
Kevin and Brian would be just as close as before. No man or woman should
ever come between friends. Nor should people be made to choose between, its
not right to any concerned.
I started thinking back to all the times we had had together. The
sweet things he'd say in bed. The way he could make me feel so comfortable,
and safe in his arms. The way I missed his arms around me holding me
close. Each night was a fight with loneliness to fall asleep. And now it
was a day away till I got to see him again. Then amazingly the phone
wrang. *ring* *ring ring* "Hello" I answered, with a chipper voice from
memories. "Hello...Jon?" I heard a very tentative but authoritative voice
ask. "This is he, may I ask whose calling please?" "Yes, its Kevin. Brian's
cousin." I smiled having expected one of them to
call. "Kevin...Kevin...you mean that SUPER cute mailman that made mad
monkey love with me. Nope that Kevins still here. OHHHHHH KEEEEEVin..I
remember you." I chuckled. Then the other voice seemed a bit angry and
surprised. "Great to se your doing so well. Only 2 weeks and your having
sex. Was your first time good?" I stared blank into the phone. "Kevin, it
was a joke, I'm still a virgin, and when have you heard of normal people
having monkey sex? You need to lighten up a bit. Is touring THAT
stressful?" His mood lightened a bit as I heard him sigh. "Its got its ups
and downs. Were coming into Boston tonight, and we have a show tomorrow,
and I..we were wondering if you'd come to the show, and hang out
afterwards? I know the other guys would Love to see you. Especially Brian
and Nick." He had stressed Brian, and I could sense he was trying to set
the two of us back up. "I can't Kevin, I work nights now at the plant, and
that is from 9 PM to 5:30 AM there's no way I could make it. But I would
love to see you all. Maybe if your in town till Saturday we can get
together, I know its only Monday and you come in on Tuesday, but are you
here that long?" I could hear papers shuffling, as if he was looking for
them to have free time till then, but I knew they wouldn't. The company
sent me the new schedule. They left here on Thursday night, concert
Wednesday, and had a concert in NY on Friday. "No we leave there Thursday
night...maybe next time? We all really miss you Jon." His voice was
disheartened, he must have just assumed I'd clear my whole schedule for
them, and in truth I would have had I not already.
I was looking at all my bags that were being picked up, and brought
to a room on their floor in just a few hours. Which was 2 hours before
their plane arrived. I was all ready to surprise them all at the show. In
the coarse of a few hours, I had a call from everyone but Brian. They all
seemed to have the same idea's on their mind. Nick even went as far as to
ask if he could talk to my boss, he said Kevin could get me out of work,
but I told him I really had to be there they needed me. I had the outfit
that I was going to wear to the concert all picked out and everything. That
night I really didn't sleep much, I was too excited to be seeing the guys
again, and to be going back on tour with them. This time I had mailed my
friends saying I was going away with work again, and gave them my
cell-phone number so they could get in touch with me afterwards so we could
keep in touch. I was all dressed and ready to go. The concert was in just a
few hours, and I had primo seats.
I pulled up to the arena, its about an hour before the concert, and
the place was still packed. I went over to one of the doormen to get my
pass and ticket, which was waiting as promised, and saw one of the guards
there. He saw me too, and walked over, with a neutral look. I wasn't sure
if he was pissed or happy, that was the only problem with security. "Hey
House. If your gonna slug me, hit the left side, my right is my good side."
With that I smiled hoping to show him I came in peace. The big black man
looked like a fridge. He was built, as were they all. He balled up his
fist, and cocked his arm back, as if ready to swing, I just stood their
figuring why huddle, he'll hit either way. Then he just extended his
hand. "The guys said your not.." I broke in. "Shhhhh they have no clue I'm
here, and I wanna keep it that way." I kinda chuckled as did House. I went
to my seat, it was 3rd row balcony where I had asked for, with the Fleet
center set up as it was, those seats were great, AND it gave me the cover
of all the people so I wouldn't have to worry about being noticed. The set
was done up nicely with the ship from the video "Larger Than Life" with a
HUGE video Screen so you could see all the action. It was a cool set, they
started having all the guys flying in. Luckily I was on the opposite side
of where they came in from, which I was grateful for, as I was going for
the incognito look.
They started their set with Larger Than Life, and slowly went thru
their cycle of songs. It was a 5 sided platform, and each usually took a
side, which was ingenious. I saw them suiting up in harnesses. They were
doing more than one aerial show Tonight. There's something I didn't
realize, so I ducked out to go get a soda, seeing Nick was going to be
coming this way. I came back at about the end of the song, and worked my
way to my seat, just in time to see Nick go right over my head. He looked
back wondering if he saw what he thought he saw, but I turned around, and
headed back to get something else so I wasn't seen. But Nick was almost
disappointed, but he was still almost sure it was Me.
********Under the Stage, Costume Change for last Songs
Guys, Jon isn't here, right. I mean he's working right?" Nick
asked, with a bewildered look on his face as he hurriedly changed, and AJ
slapped him on the leg to shut him up for Brian's sake. "No he's not here
Nick...he's not here now cause he couldn't make time for us." Brian said,
his voice a bit cold, and shallow, but he was hurting. He somehow expected
Jon to be there somehow, deep in his heart he had hoped. But it just wasn't
the case. Nick gave a smile to Kevin. "Guys change in plans, last 3 songs
are changing, since you always get to do it, its my turn, were doing
aerials to, If You Knew What I Knew, That's What She Said, and Any Where
For You" Nick said. All the guys started to argue, but he had already told
the band what was happening and they nodded, and everything was getting set
up. "Oh and one more thing, Brian were Switching Places, your taking my
section, yours needs to be blessed with my beauty and grace, and mine needs
a break."
Brian's 7 Sea's of Loneliness part 24 by Jon
Nick was smiling ear to ear. He had decided to find out if Jon was
truly there, and if so, give Brian a chance to send a message to Jon, even
if only through the use of song. His plan couldn't be better if he planned
it. He had almost been sure it was Jon he saw even for a brief moment. "I
knew he'd make time for us." Nick whispered to himself. He also started
thinking of reasons for the song change to tell all the fans at the
backstage session afterwards.
*****In My Seat
I saw them setting up for more aerials, and Brian was on this
side. I was shocked and confused, and I couldn't think of a reason to
leave. My mind froze. I heard "If you knew what I knew" start to come
through the speakers. It sounded so amazing when they sang it live. I could
hear Brian, he had a bit extra into this song. I couldn't place it tho.
Their harnesses started to raise them, and I could see Brian heading this
way. As he flew over I turned my head hoping he didn't see me. I saw him,
almost pull a double take, and then shake his head as if to shake it
off. He must have seen me, only he doubted himself. I had a grin on. I was
going to surprise them all. The last songs went off without a hitch, and
Brian in no way saw me, which I was grateful for.
I started Making my way to the backstage area, I had my staff shirt
on under my coat, which was zipped up. I let all the girls flock in, and
shrugged myself down, so I wasn't taller than them, and so I wasn't
sticking out. I saw a lot of guys there as well. I just watched the guys
smiling as they happily signed CD's and posters, and just about anything
else people could muster. I saw a sixth man sitting by Brian and Kevin, but
he didn't look like a bodyguard. Maybe he hit it off with one of the guys
from the session, and wanted to talk afterwards. So I hung back and just
watched the going on. And they did a small question and answer section. A
few people's questions were original, but most were about girlfriends,
could they BE their girlfriend, boxers or briefs, and such. Soon after they
were all filtered out, and I left with the rest of them. Tho the other man
stayed where he was seated. So either it was a family friend, or someone
they wanted to spend some time with.
All the girls were escorted out, and I took off my jacket and
showed my staff shirt. All the bodyguards smiled knowing I came back, and
we started talking a bit, after the post show wrap up of making sure no one
was sneaking around. After a good hour of talking and getting reacquainted,
I told them I'd be back, and headed towards the door. I Didn't knock, I
just opened it, more out of habit of doing it so many times before than out
of disrespect. I saw four sets of eyes look straight at the door as it
opened, and nick whispered "Oh shit" as I walked in, and scanned where
Brian was before. "Hey guys great show I made it after.." I saw Brian, and
the other guy. Kissing. And they were looking into it. I think my jaw
dropped, I almost felt like dying on the spot, but instead, I closed my
eyes tight, turned around, and in my most professional voice I let a tear
fall, cleared my throat. "Sorry sirs, I should have
knocked. Mr. Richardson, please let us know when your ready to go, the limo
is ready and waiting to take you back to the hotel." And without another
word, I left the room, closed the door, and took my post by the door.
A had the trace of a single tear in my eye, and the line from the
one that fell before. I wiped them off, put on a smug look, crossed my
arms, and leaned on the wall. House, and one of the other Guards were
approaching me, but I shook my head at them, and then just stood there,
looking like a stone wall. I made the commitment to be here, and I would
be. The pay was good, and I loved who I worked with, so I'd just have to
make do, and I couldn't back out now even if I wanted to.
****In The Room
The guys were all chatting with a guy. "Hello" they all said in
unison, and introduced themselves to the man. "Hello, I'm Jason. Nice to
meet you guys, I've loved the music for years, and now I finally get to see
what your like off stage." He smiled, oozing a slight charismatic aura
about him. The guys easily took him into their circle, and chatted easily
with him. He seemed most interested In Brian. In fact 90% of his questions
were directly or indirectly directed at Brian. But the others just figured
they cliqued better and went on their conversation. Eventually the other
guys stopped talking, and just listen to Jason and Brian go on and on about
little things.
Nick saw the door opening, and was confused. Suddenly out of the
opening, Jon stepped into the room, and about that second, the sound of
kissing was heard. All the guys looked over to Brian and Jason kissing
deeply, and Nick whispered "Oh Shit." Jon started to say something,
scanning the room, smiling to the four of them "Hey guys great show I made
it after.." His jaw hung low, and his eyes looked like he was just shot. He
visibly staggered back a bit, Brian not seeming to have noticed him
there. Jon turned around, back to everyone, and the guys could have sworn
they saw a tear trace his cheek. In a professional voice he stated "Sorry
sirs, I should have knocked. Mr. Richardson, please let us know when your
ready to go, the limo is ready and waiting to take you back to the hotel."
And with that he walked out, no good bye.
Nick threw a magazine at Brian, and hit him in the head, just as
Jon was walking out. Brian stopped the kiss "What was that for Nick!" Brian
scowled, but as he did, he saw Jon's back closing the door, and he looked
at them confused. "Who was that, did I miss something?" Kevin shook his
head, in a disapproving manner, AJ and Howie just looked at Brian, their
eyes dazed, and Nick was the only one that seemed to find his voice. "That
was your old guard, who finally came back. He forgot to knock, and left
seeing you kissing Jason, not wanting to intrude." Jason got a look, almost
half angry "Well what was he doing barging in here anyhow, that's very
disrespectful to you guys and your private lives." Brian seemed a bit
thick. "My old guard? I've only had one..." He finally realized what Nick
was saying. "Where did he go Nick?" Nick looked at Brian and shook his head
"Lord only knows this time Brian. But I wouldn't chase him for hello's at
the moment."
Brian looked at Jason, and politely asked him "Jason, its been an
exhausting night, and your a nice guy and all, but I need to get some sleep
for early interviews." Jason shook his head agreeing knowing he was being
asked to leave, and walked out the door. He headed straight for Jon,
evilness plastered on his face. He ignored everyone else and walked for
Jon, he was so into yelling at Jon, he forgot to close the door fully. He
was in front on Jon and bellowed "Where is you respect for your bosses! Did
you grow up in a barn! Don't you know how to KNOCK! I thank-you for ruining
my evening with the guys! Learn some respect for privacy!" and the man
stormed off. Mainly cause House was walking at him with clenched fists, and
hell in his eyes. Jason took that as a hint it was time to go and left. Jon
turned on his heel, and looked at house. "I'll escort Sir" Sneering on the
word sir, in reference to Jason "To the parking lot and see him out
safely." Again a slight sneer at the word safely, and Jon left, seeing the
guys coming out the room, and all of them save Brian looked furious. Brian
just looked confused, and almost rueful.
Jon escorted the man out without a word, and then went to the limo
figuring the guys would be coming soon. As he saw Kevin, AJ, Howie, Brian,
and Nick approaching, he opened the door. Nick ran over to Jon and hugged
him. "Welcome back Jon! I'm glad you made it!" He was obviously trying to
forget the room incident, hoping I would no doubt. I hugged him back "Thank
you Mr. Carter" and Jon broke the embrace. Nick just looked bewildered, and
went into the limo. Kevin extended his hand being next to get in "Welcome
back Jon, things weren't the same without you." He said, diplomatically as
always, and motioning to Brian, and I shook my head in a "no"
formation. "Nice to be back Mr. Richardson" Jon stated as Kevin, having
much the same look as Nick, got into the Limo. Next was AJ, "Hey Bro,
welcome back to the family!" I nodded and shook AJ's hand "Thank
Mr. McLean, much appreciated." AJ looked back at Howie, and blinked, then
turned and entered the limo, as Howie approached Jon. "Hey Jon, what's
shaking?" Howie said, giving me a hug. "Nothing Mr. Dorough." Jon shook
his hand, and let him enter the limo. Brian went to approach Jon, but Jon
spoke first, a bit cold, almost devoid of all emotion, as business like as
he could must "I'll be your guard Sir, be safe, and I will see you."
Offering no hand, he motioned for Brian to enter the limo, This got all the
guys twice as confused.
Jon hopped into the front of the limo, and they were on their way
to the hotel. About the point they were there, the window was rolled down
so the front could speak to the back. No one had said a word the whole
ride, all that was there were looks of bewilderment, surprise, hurt on
Brian's part..or was it shame? As the screen rolled down, I turned around
"Yes Mr. Richardson?" I greeted Kevin, and then let him voice what he was
going to ask. "Jon, can we talk after we get to the hotel?" Kevin asked,
trying to warm up the mood. "Sorry Sir, but I have nigh watch tonight, and
I have to keep patrol, there's no way I could. Will There be anything else
tho?" Kevin's smile faded "Yes as soon as you can, we need to talk, I'd
appreciate a call to my cell if you can while on watch and if not, we'll
speak in the morning." Jon nodded his approval, and closed the privacy
screen.
Brian finally piped up "OK why didn't we know Jon was coming back,
and why is he treating us so coldly?" Kevin and Nick shot Brian looks of
shock. In unison they spoke up "How would you feel if he was kissing
someone in front of you?!?" Brian just looked away and answered "I'd be
fine, he doesn't care remember?" Little did they notice that the shield was
not fully up, and I was able to hear their words, and Howie just pointed to
the screen when they entered the parking lot of the hotel, as they never
fully raised it, and shook his head once more, as Jon opened the door,
Howie piped up "Brian, you may have well lost him forever, he heard what
you said." As Howie finished, Jon opened the door...
TBC..And there you have it, the next installment of Brian's Seven Sea's of
Loneliness. Be safe, be happy, and be loved. Until next time, feel free to
write me, I love mails, and feel free to critique me for better or for
worst. Jon