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Monday, July 1, 2013

Okay. The plan was to be done with Tailspin by the end of this month...as in June...as in it's not going to happen because I'm not even halfway through. I thought it would be easy breezy; it's basically Toxic from Nathan's POV.

But it's not.

It's so much more.

Nathan is such a complex character; he's a guy who's lost everything he's ever known, whose world is turned upside down in one single night. He's forced to change the way he thinks, the way he reacts to situations. A lot of the time I struggle with the would a guy really think this? thing, but he's not a normal guy. He's a twenty year old bachelor turned bar owner/parent. The responsibility of caring for his family, of providing for them falls solely on his shoulders.

"I don't know what I need...I want to comfort them. I want to leave them. I want to forget everything."

I'm definitely making progress, and I'm super happy with it. So many questions and hazy situations will be answered and cleared. Logan, through most of Toxic, was high and unable to understand what was going on around her. We're left wondering what happens between Nathan and Danny in Nathan's house. How does Logan end up in the hospital, and ultimately in rehab? Who finds her grandmother for her?

"This when I realize that, despite the fact that I've known her for all of two days and ignoring that she's a conflict of interest, Logan has gotten underneath my skin."

Nathan, while he is understanding and compassionate, struggles with making the right decision more often than not. Boundaries will be blurred; lines will be crossed, and at the end of the day, he will have to decide what is more important to him; saving Logan or saving himself.

"I want to be the one who puts the smile on her face and the peace in her heart. I want to be the one who lights up her whole f*cking world."

Even though this will be my second self-published book, I feel like I'm nowhere near prepared. Tailspin is still without a cover. I have to make the decision to either hire a editor or edit it myself (Toxic was self-edited.) Do I hire beta-readers? Do I enlist it in websites such as NetGalley? And if so, when? Do I fork over the money for adds on Goodreads? WHat kind of advertisement is worth it?

Every time I feel like I've made some progress, I remember how much road is left to travel. This is not easy breezy. But then again, nothing worth it ever is, right?