Fatin Syafira once wrote bout long distance relation.all the misses, all the i want u rite beside me n all the lovey duvvy stuff.n to be honest, i totally agree with her.my last crash-n-burn relation will prove it..we have been a great couple when we started dating which is in my first sem break(bout few week), we hang a lot, we see each other often, we spent our time to gether2, we hold ur hand everyday, sometimes i even stalk her during midnite just to feel her presence.ya i do it in relation cuz i really love her..but after i started my second semester our relation pretty went north.im kinda busy with my life here, so was her.n maxis fucking stupid coverage play its big role in our fragile relation.FUCK MAXIS!! eventhough im just from penang, but im not the type of guy who alway go home every weeks but i did tried to go home more often juts to be with her.but that doesnt help..ya, ur love is still fresh when im already come bac k here in my campus, i she kinda girl that dont take relation seriously n so was i.so, its not really the distance playing its part, but us,still, the main reason our love got flushed straight down the toilet is because of the distance.so, i do think long distance realation will never work..so some couple it may seem impossible but for a new born relation, dun challenge it that way, its gonna kill it..eve for a strong rwlation ist gonna get hit by tornado.so, mark my word, if u wanna try long distance, make sure to keep the fire alive..or sacrifice something, mostly ur money.take one my my frens as an example.Jamal.his girl is in shah alam..u noe what he did? he ride on a bus every two weeks to shah alam just to be with his girl.yup.he did it.n asa its result, their relation still have a shot to survive.some of us, boys, think that he is crazy cuz wasting his money for all the trip but as for me , i think jamal is doing the right think..he dun wanna loose his baby girl so he gotta do what he gotta do.[well of cos some part of me still thought that jamal was stupid cuz he's the only one that trying to keep the sparks flame on].my piint is, both party have to play their part.both party need to try to make it out, lovely-ly.bak kata pepatah, bertepuk sebelah tangan xkan bebrunyi kan, tol x? for the guys, or maybe girls that trying to serach for TRUE LOVE n so on, which is still trying to search pleae dun search too far..serach in the short distance of urs.everything is not asa it seem.sometimes ur true love is juts right in front of ur eyes, it just sometimes slipped out of ur eyesight. that what i thought.

January 8, 2009

sound porn? well, its kinda sexy to talk bout eventhough some might think as disgusting, but i noe deep inside that particular group of people are eager to hear bout it.sex? ya its something thats is on "NOT-TO-DO" list but still it happen around us rite? if not, how come child abandon rate keep on rising day to day? im not here to be rightous n telling u guys bout things that u cant do or can do, u guys can think for urself rite? spare that.bout virginity, well some guys still think thatits cute to married a total virgin girl, guys like me.seriesly. OK! i admit..im still a virgin.i never scuba drive rite though the swimming pool, not even put my foot near around the beach.not even one..some might think im a nerd, but mostly think is respectful..rite guys? so ya, im kinda into this stuff.it'll be great if my future wife is still a virgin till ur honeymoon nite.but, sometime i think to myself, do i even deserve that type of girl..im a dick.. a dick dun deserve a nice cute lil girl with clean attitude n nice personality but still im hoping for it.people deserve another chance ok.prostitution? wow.its creep the hell out of me just to think bout it.i never try that, n i dun intense to..one of my bro offer me once last year when i turn 18.i refuse.to be honest, i scare.its not that i dun want to, cuz im just a normal guy.if that kind of opportunity slip by, of cos we'll just forget bout our integrity for one.but at that time, im fucking scare..thank god for that..so thats me..a virgin dick.wow..its actually sound cool.hahaha..

someone once ask me bout this, n seriesly by that time i dunno how to answer it..oh god, i still blur if this question is pointing rite to me.. i mean are the thing that we call love, all the lovey dovey, mushy2 romantic stuff is true love or we are just pretending to love that person cuz of something else? money n all the gadgets that he/her own.maybe, cuz of the intel? well, how maybe person that will always say dat their life partner is smart.. most of them i would say..rite? maybe thats what love really if..we feel attracted to someone cuz of someting boutthem..their appearance maybe..shes look cute, pretty, he look handsome or look like Mr.Body six-pack chest..or welath..yup..this is the main attraction to anyone, boys or girls..dun lie.cmon..azam awai2 dah ngaku yg dia kapel ngn Roban sebab duit, at the first time..skrg dia dah mula appreciate ckit kowt Roban tu..ha3..(Roban beli Sandal Bonia siot kat bro aku tu.peh..pastu siap mail lg kat campus all the way dr shah Alam)..gud for u bro, u nailed it!!well, who can tell me now what love is actually?

there's a golf war vet.,dying a slow, cold death,and the government says, "we don't know, the sorce of his sickness"but you can't believe what they say,because your government is lying,they've done it before,and don't you know, they'll do it again,a secret test,government built virus,"Subject Test Group: Gulf Battle Field Troups"

first world war veterans slaughtered, by General Eisnehoweryou give em' your life,they give you, a stab in the backadiation, agent orange, tested on u.s. soles,ginnie pigs, for westurn corporationsi never have, i never will,pledge alligence to the flagYou're getting used, you'll end up dead

i don't need you to tell me what to do!and i don't need you to tell me what to say...F**K YOU!!!i don't need you to tell me what to say!and i don't need you to tell me what to think,what to think, what to think, what to think,what to think think think think

p/s dun die for ur government.we r not the loyal dogs that will do anything its master told it to do..we r human.we have wishful thinking.use it well.government conspiracy is bullshit n sometimes we, the people need to remind them that we have the right to choose n speak for our own.

p/s-this is a campus story.true story with some beautiful manner approach..for somebody else sake, not the guy whom pissed be off..im totally n officially hate n wanna kick his ass but i refuse to do so cuz for the sake of somebody else..i can do it i just dont wanna to..bare that in mind!

January 5, 2009

after reading hakim's blog, Desire A Greater Life, i have to admit its touche'.he talk bout the loneliness in this freaking campus, how much fun we had when we in our first sem..god i miss that time..time when we're still freshie n new.noe nothing bout Merbok, except CS n Village Mall.time when amir still around, time when we had a room to stop by n enjoy urself..B316-ijat's,hakim's,Amir's n jufri's room..all of DPA student part 1 at that time most of them hanged in that room..every single day its a new adventure..a lot of memory set place in that room..even me,azam n meor walk all the way from block A to block B climb the stairs, just to be there.i miss is so much..i never felt bored at all in my first sem.neither all of my bros.all the teasings, fucked up jokes, playing around, pangkah2, card playing, PC games playing, belive it or not we even study togetehr in that room..well our last day of the first semester is the last time we'd been in that room..after everything when sour..seriesly..its not that we are not having much fun in the second semester n this current semester but is just dun feel the same though..after ur first semester, amir left UiTM, Edd got kick out n we r 2 members short..n after that me,azam, ijat, amini n even amirul change class..u used to be in Class B but we change to D..we planned that all of our members of the awesoem group to change al togetehr to Class D but some of us had a clashing timetable so they stayed in B..its sucks..it not taht i didnt have fun at all in D but its just dun feel the same as it used to be..its sucks!n after that, hakim finally tight the knot with saidah n meor followed with fida so they spent much of their time together2 with their ladies..its kinda hurt but what can i do, if i have a gurl in the same campus i'll do the same, so i dun blame them at all..seriesly.but, i dun feel good.ya, we still hang out together,lesser.but starting from that semester i started to feel bored..eventhough at that time i had a gurlfren, but shes not around, shes in penang.enjoying her life acting like im not her boyfren.so i started my thrid semester, single, still in the same class, D but new members of the family were there..more people come in n join class D so i dun felt the same anymore..too mamny people already.new clan had enter our territory n its sucks.sometimes i flet like changing back to my old class,B but i wont be the same..i noe it.plus, whos left in B? hakim? he's busy with his lady, meor? same situation with hakim..sometime i just wish both of them will break u..i noe..im an asshole but its just not a right thing to do..so moer n hakim enjoy ur relation ok..both of u deserve it.kuddus? he'snly in for PAD230 n CTU..shafiq? not apart of the team man.ayie? well ok ayie can hang out with me..but it wont be the same as all of us together..even pak lah is moving to D..so u get what i mean..everybody want to enter D i dont noe why.. u guys think D is adoption center? everybody welcome? please.. well there a still some other reason for me to stay in D..azam still there..my big bro..adi,aimil,fizi..SAF..my knuckles buddy..but if i wanna move bax to B for sure all of them will follow..well, at least azam n Saf..cuz they r the former B members..but my class rep position will hold me back..for sure sir mahad wont let me change class.who else want to hold that fucked up title..CLASS REPRESENTATIVE..fuck it..more like Lecturer's dog..YA! being a class rep is nothing more than being a dog..loyal dog that willing to do anything..so, what other choice left form me man..im fucking bored..i start to hate this campus already..maybe i should just follow Amir n K, quit UiTM n pursuit my percious dream..well, that bring out the slicky question..what is my dream? i alway say n brought out that i wanna be a roxstar, well that does not gonna happen for sure, i alway wanna be a lawyer but ist kinda hard cuz i have to go through all the academic shits, prime minister? ha3.. even i laugh at myself just when i thought bout that.so what my big2 dream? ya rite..i dun hava a dream to achieve..im already gave it up a long time ago..i alway say to myself, im a street smart not a book smart.but how im gonna survive out there without any academic back up..am i just gonna work at swenz till im like 40 for a few buck a day? kais pagi makan pagi kais petang makan petang? hell no1 how im gonna survive? so what other option left for me? im not that good in academic..hell i failed my acc114.hell my pointer dropped n i noe its gonna keep dropping..how im gonna work it out? i hate it, really really fucking hate it..fuck fuck fuck fuck!why my life should be that hard? huh? is everyone having a hard time just like me? or im overthinking again..well its in my genes alright.my mom have it, my sis's even my dad have it..so, what can i say..life sucks,buckle up! enjoy the ride! chow..peace out!

p/s- i have noe idea what this entry is really bout..im just rumbling.just wanna say n all out the things from my chest..thanx for reading..appreciate it..

why?why should the kids pay the debts of the folks?the shame, the backstabbed the curse of the family?why?its not fair for us..the one who got the blame..who got left out alone, trying to search the light.in that mean time, after this afterword choas, the burden come stopping by n drop a massive shithole on our shoulder?WHY DAD? WHY MOM?how, how can i survive this world on my own along with all this stuff i have to settle, the sins of the wrongdoing that i have nothing to do with it, still im the one who paying for it..ya, as folr ur dyingwish goes, for god sake i dunno its THAT true.u siad u take a good care of myself, i never thought u really mean it cuz u guys left a lot of mess that i need to clean it up..thank god, my will is strong..strong not as a solid rock that crash anything piece of cake, butstrong only as a wooden stick..not to strong, easily been break, but still can hurt or bleed somebody out..thats me.. the wooden stick..not a favorite weapon of choice but still at any cause, it may come handy.that me..

p/s- dedicated to one of my fren who is having aharsh time in his/her life...wish him.her a gud luck..im here for u if u need anything dude/babe..