A post for strong women

This, my friends, is a post about women. About strong women. The ones they call bossy, domineering, powerful and unladylike. This is for the girls, the women and the old broads who did things their way and didn’t ask for permission. This is for the women I know.

A shout out of sorts.

A hello, how are you.

A would you look at you kicking ass out there has anyone told you lately how awesome you are, type post.

I encountered some things this week, some ideas and opinions that I just can’t let ride. It’s such a latent idea that women shouldn’t be strong, such an undercurrent, that people don’t even realise that it’s there. Women are just this. Men are just that. No cross over, no blurring of the lines.

This assumption or type-casting is changing. Or it feels like it is anyway. I always felt like this would change in my lifetime. My father was actively involved in our household and as a parent, splitting the commitments and chores with my mother. He was sentimental, hard-working, strong and the first to cry in sad or touching movies. My mother was fiercely independent, outgoing, boisterous and soft. They showed me that gender didn’t dictate traits like this. You did. Personality did.

So I chose to be strong. I resisted the urge to be bossy and instead became the boss. I challenged the ideas of what I should and shouldn’t be knowing that I could be any and all of them if I wanted. Maybe even one after another depending on the day and how I felt. Because I was allowed to be strong, I found my ability to be vulnerable, gentle and soft.

Apparently you and I, we can be all the things. Or none of them. So if like me you are sick to death of being told I need to be something you’re not then go be yourself. And just quietly, that doesn’t have to be strong if you don’t want either. You get to be whatever you like, dress, do, think, act. However, you like. Stop believing everything they told you. Those people are rarely correct.

And now here’s some pin’able and instagram’able images for you and the strong women in your life. Click the image for a large size, it’ll open in a new page. And have I told you lately that you’re doing great? Well you are. Well done.

Mahina Hathaway

Yes! This! So much of this! I was a bossy little tart. And I still am! My Mum helped me understand that there was such a thing as being “too bossy” depending on the circumstances, and I learned to use my bossy super power for good. I still come across people today who try to squash me. They tell me to be quiet, to “act like a lady”, to “behave”. I used to just laugh inside my own head and dismiss them. And then I realised, if they are acting this way towards me, a relatively outspoken woman who is sure of herself and happy with who she is, they are also doing it to and within hearing of impressionable young women who are still learning about themselves and how they fit into the world. And oh the damage they are causing! So I became way more outspoken!!! Because strong women like me and you aren’t going anywhere! And we are going to champion the next generation of strong women (and men!) and remind them that its totally ok to be whatever it is that you are naturally inside. Whether its bossy, or quiet, or teary, or outspoken. There is just no need to type cast or fit into a box that someone else has built. That shit is just dumb!

Melissa Walker Horn

I agree, I think when you get too bossy, it’s actually really aggressive and domineering. I know for me, I got better at judging that line as I got older. I was more inclined to allow people space to go about things in their own way in a manner that I wouldn’t have as a kid.

Love this. Love this post a lot. For me, I can be strong and I’ve learned to be strong, but I love being feminine and soft too. There are moments for both. Be who you’re meant to be, but also have the courage to stand up for what you believe.

Melissa Walker Horn

Thank you. To be able to draw on a range of ways of being and not feel limited is a powerful thing. And courage is one of those things we all wish we had more of, I’m sure.

Beautiful quotes! Feminine energy doesn’t need to be weak… We can be strong and still hold true to our feminity. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Melissa Walker Horn

You’re welcome Alex. Thanks for popping by to read it. x

ElegantEccentric

Your parents sound like mine, right down to the movies. I remember very clearly one evening when we watched Miss Congeniality on the telly because my dad liked it (and had a wee crush on Sandra Bullock), and then he went to bed and my mom and I watched First Blood. The contrast has always amused me and made me smile.

I needed to read this today. Thank you. <3
~El

Melissa Walker Horn

I’m glad it showed up when you needed it El. And here’s to wonderful parents. My Dad doesn’t like blood and guts movies either. And he does love Sandra Bullock… 😉

Karen

This! Just so much! I used to hate it as a girl that I’d be called bossy while the boys who were exhibiting the exact same behaviour were called leaders. Made me want to chuck some plates against the wall.

Melissa Walker Horn

Thank you Karen! In our family the bossy runs strong in the boys and girls. Haha. We’ve got your back. 😉