I’m letting my 15-year-old daughter have sex.

I’m letting my 15-year-old daughter have sex.

Archived

–,
Sunday,
August,
31,
2008,(9:00am)

Dear Bossy: I am after a non-biased opinion. I have a 15 year old daughter that has been with her boyfriend for several months, and they have recently informed me that they have become sexually active.

Although I was a little shocked at first it really was no surprise. After discussing contraception with them we decided that they would continue to use condoms and that my daughter would get the Implanon as a backup.

My problem is that I have had other parents of girls the same age ranting that I am doing the wrong thing, that I should be putting their relationship to an end and not helping them with contraception issues.

My view is that kids this age are going to experiment and make mistakes whether we like it or not, that all we can do is guide them and give them the best education in protecting themselves as we can. Am I wrong in thinking this way? Have I done the wrong thing by my child in supplying her with contraception?

A little back ground;
Â· I did discuss this issue with the boyâ€™s parents and they were fine, they had already made condoms available to their son.
Â· My husband is fine with it.
Â· My daughter and her boyfriend are the same age
What do you think?

Bossy says: What do I think? You have a teenage daughter who trusts you enough to tell you she is becoming sexually active. You have a teenage daughter who is responsible enough to ask for advice on contraception. What do I think?! I think congratulations.

I’m not sure it’s in anyone’s interests for you to broadcast the situation to your friends. I think you need to consider that legally your daughter and her boyfriend are under the age of consent for sexual acts. Understandably people will have different views on the matter. Maybe you told your friends because you were uncertain about your decision and hoped they would give you their approval. Instead you were roundly condemnned.

There are always going to be people who say young people shouldn’t be having sex. And in an ideal world youngsters wouldn’t be having sex. They’d be holding hands and pitching woo. Like in the olden days. But times are what they are. There is little doubt teens today are far more sexually knowledgeable than their grandparents, even if Oprah’s teen oral sex epidemic never really eventuated. So what are you going to do?

I think the best thing you can do is be responsible. Zero tolerance is a fine notion. It just doesn’t really work, especially when it comes to teens and sex. Although I think teens should be encouraged to wait where possible, your daughter is already having sex. I doubt she’s going to revirgin herself at this point.

It seems to me if teens are going to be sexually active (and they will if they want to) you should do everything in your power to make sure they are having safe protected sex. You also want to be there to provide them with information and emotional support if things go wrong.

I think you sound sensible beyond belief. I think you have been brave in going to your daughter’s boyfriend’s parents to get their thoughts. What a challenging conversation that must have been. And those kids… well I don’t know what to say about them. Are all kids these days that sensible? Do all young lovers just come hand in hand to their parents to discuss the practicalities of making love?

I’d stop talking to other mums if I were you. They don’t agree with you and it’s not your place to make them agree. I can understand their feelings.

As a parent I think you can never be 100 percent sure whether your decision is the best one, but you simply do the best you can.

Have Your Say

You should be so ashamed of yourself. Slap your daughter out, put her in her place, and let her know that if she is going to be living under your roof that she is going to not have sex until she is of the appropriate age.If she doesn’t like it show her the door, trust me she will be running back to you in no time. I dont get parents these days. What does a 15 year old girl know? When i was 15 i was playing with pokemon cards. At 15 you cant be in love, and you definetly cant just sleep with someone because you’ve known them for a few months. Pathetic.

Maybe you sat on the fence so long you got a white picket stuck up your backside. No, that can’t be right.

Moose replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:32am)

Oh yes because your ‘my way or the highway’ attitude is really what a daughter needs at this stage in her life!

Teacher replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:34am)

It is attitudes like yours that cause kids to hide from their parents, too scared to go and buy contraception, and end up with pregnancies or STI’s.

While I too find it shocking that a fifteen year old is having sex, I don’t think beating the thought out of them is going to help any.

Michelle replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:34am)

You sound like a fool. Things were probably different when you were 15, times have changed.

Bono replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:34am)

You’re exactly the reason why Australia is the most regulated country in the world. Great solution there idiot.

paper_plane cadet replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:35am)

@Sam: Get over yourself. How old are you?

Do you have any idea how the generations have evolved over the years?

We live in a highly-sexualised society, and young people are maturing sexually a lot quicker than the previous generation.

I think the Mum is doing a great job by making safe sex mandatory, and talking to the boyfriend’s parents.

If kids want to have sex, they will.
Locking her daughter up and throwing away the key is not going to stop her.

Besides, what is the “appropriate” age? Age of consent is 16, they are slightly younger, but at least they have been open with their choice to become sexually active.

You may have been playing with Pokemon cards at 15 but I can guarantee there were kids the same age out there doing way more than that.

You can’t honestly have your head so far stuck in the stand that you think that 15 year-olds need to be kicked out of the house if they want to have sex.

If anything, that would turn her to prostitution, drug use, and far worse things.

Keeping an eye on her and her boyfriend is the best thing this Mum is doing.

They may not know what love is, but isn’t that part of growing up?

Who honestly knows what love is at that age?

Sam, I believe YOU are the one who needs slapping out, open your eyes to what is really going on in this world.

paper_plane cadet replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:35am)

@Sam: Get over yourself. How old are you?

Do you have any idea how the generations have evolved over the years?

We live in a highly-sexualised society, and young people are maturing sexually a lot quicker than the previous generation.

I think the Mum is doing a great job by making safe sex mandatory, and talking to the boyfriend’s parents.

If kids want to have sex, they will.
Locking her daughter up and throwing away the key is not going to stop her.

Besides, what is the “appropriate” age? Age of consent is 16, they are slightly younger, but at least they have been open with their choice to become sexually active.

You may have been playing with Pokemon cards at 15 but I can guarantee there were kids the same age out there doing way more than that.

You can’t honestly have your head so far stuck in the stand that you think that 15 year-olds need to be kicked out of the house if they want to have sex.

If anything, that would turn her to prostitution, drug use, and far worse things.

Keeping an eye on her and her boyfriend is the best thing this Mum is doing.

They may not know what love is, but isn’t that part of growing up?

Who honestly knows what love is at that age?

Sam, I believe YOU are the one who needs slapping out, open your eyes to what is really going on in this world.

Fan of AL replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:38am)

Back under your bridge troll.

Lady M replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:38am)

Is the sky blue in the fantasy land that you exist in, Sam? Just curious.

Good on you mum, I hope that my children have the trust in me to talk to me about these things in a few years when they are 15.

Athro replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:41am)

Harsh...very harsh!

Emily replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:47am)

Sam! Are you kidding? Playing with pokemon cards? Well someone clearly had an over-sheltered up bringing!
In this day and age there are many 15 year olds who are mature enough to make their own decisions and often do make the right ones. The fact that this girl has chosen to discuss the issue with her mother and go about doing it all the right way shows that she is beyond her years.
Love is love. Age does not matter. Obviously you have never been in love! I met my boyfriend at the age of 15 and we only waited two weeks because I knew straight away that he was the one. It’s been five years and we’re still going strong. My parents met at the age of 16 and fell in love and they are still together. You are the pathetic one - not to mention clearly socially retarted!
To the mother of the girl - you have done the right thing. If you had decided that you would not accept it, it would have happened anyway without the safety measures you have installed and that would have been a danger to you daughter. Bossy nailed it on the head - congratualtions!

Fitzy replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:49am)

You Sir/Madame are an out of date oblivious twit!

Stewart replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:50am)

Sam, you are an idiot. Her daughter has come to her and told her what her and her boyfriends intentions are. I think she should be applauded. Like the loving mother has said, whther she approves or not, her daughter is going to have sex, so why not be a part and make sure she is as safe as she possibly can be. And just because her daughter has been WITH her boyfriend for a few months does not mean they have only known each other for a few months.

Bossy, you are spot on the money here. I wish that as my kids get older that they are as open and up front with me.

Mum. I hope that I have raised my kids the same as you have raised yours. As for the others parents, they obviously don’t have a relationship with their as close as you do with yours. I applaude you I think you are doinga marvellous job

quixotic replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:51am)

Gosh that is harsh. So if the mother say no to her daughter, I forbid you from having sex..what will the daughter do.
She will do it anyway and then not ever come back to her mother with other issues she has throughout her development. Open your eyes or are you one of those people who don’t see and deny things happen.
Just because you were playing pokemon at 15, doesnt mean all girls are or should be

grumpyteacher replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:51am)

Such a shame that this made first post, when everyone else has given much more poignant advice.

You’re judging parents “these days” like you’re an 80 year old, but given you were playing with Pokemon cards at 15, you’re 28 at the oldest (launched 1996). Firstly, you want a mother to feel shame for trying to look out for her daughter? Next, you promote a bit of child abuse. Then you go on to suggest kicking the daughter out ... ever lived on the streets, Sam? It’s much more dangerous than having sex. And I really love that you are so knowledgeable that you can declare that ‘At 15 you cant [sic] be in love’. Just because that’s the way it was for you (hey, who can look at girls when Pokemon is so enticing?), it doesn’t make it a universal truth.

-DVS- replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:56am)

Sam..You are an idiot. You really think will work?? All your “advice” will do is cause the daughter to be secretive about having sex, then the first thing you will know about it is when she is pregenant, you are then confronted with the difficult decision of either trying to raise a baby at the age of 15 or having an abortion, either option has very unhealthy stigma attached to them. Should 15 year olds be having sex? Maybe not, Do 15 year olds know what sex is? Of course they do, due to media input, the internet and even magazines children are forced to grow up a lot faster then they used to. I am not saying anyone should encourage their 15 years olds to have sex, but if the topic is bought up then by all means talk to them about contraceptives and let them know if they ever have any concerns they can talk to you about it. At 15 maybe you can’t be in love, although to me that sounds a little condescending, but here is a news flash for you Millions of people around the world have sex with people they don’t love!!! I know it is shocking but that is life in 2008, I suggest you stop living in the dark ages and get a clue about whats going on in todays society.
Bossy I think your advice is spot on and congratulations to any parent who has that much of an open relationship with their children.

Harry Flashman replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:59am)

Obviously mummy didn’t give you attention you thought you deserved....I agree with sweet Kate,entirely...And if you don’t like what it is I said I shall be more than happy to have my seconds call upon you.

Pokemon cards at 15? You’re probably still a virgin. And who are you to say you can’t be in love at 15? I know I was, and I’m still just as in love with the same guy 7 years on. Just because you were an introverted nerd at that age does not mean this young girl is. She’s shown a lot of maturity in her actions and reflects well on OP’s skills as a parent. Well done Mum.

Caydence replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:12pm)

They had Pokemon in the 1950’s???

Denny Crane replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:24pm)

Denny doesn’t actually agree with your opinion Sam, but he’s glad you’re able to speak your mind without being howled down by the masses. Yay for free speech. personally, Denny too was quite the innocent at fifteen. All he was interested in was cricket and football. Did that ever change.

Denny Crane.

Sam replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:41pm)

Firstly, im 22.

Secondly, it is my opinion that 15 year old girls should not be having sex. Imagine your daughter running around sleeping with someone she stars dating, only to be referred to as a skank/slut/ho. Let’s be realistic. THe girls that have sex at 15 dont really end up being all that good do they?

Scorpion replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:48pm)

If you were playing with Pokemon cards at 15, you were obviously a geek, hence the reason you weren’t having sex.

Get off your high horse!

pheelion replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:52pm)

Parents these days.

What days are you referring to. The recent phenomenom of 15 year olds having sex is only a couple of thousand years old after all.

Romeo and Juliette is NOT a love story - it is a cautionary tale for parents of teenagers.

Zaz replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:56pm)

Sam,
You are totally incorrect and have no idea. I first had sex with my boyfriend at age 15 and we were only together for a few months. Yes you can be in love at 15. I am now 22 and we are still together and still in love!

TellItLikeItIs replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:04pm)

Sooo Sam.. be you he or she? ‘Cos with that tirade of ignorance you show that you are a tad of a shirtypants and I sure wouldn’t want you for my mum. As a Dad with a daughter I kind of understand your view point (but don’t agree with it).
However, as your comments are so unbelievably out of touch with todays thinking you must be yanking our chain.
Go back to waving the placards outside the abortion clinic.

pheelion replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:09pm)

Kick her out to STOP her having sex. What a great idea. So instead of her learning how to have a caring sexual relationship in a safe, committed relationship she gets to experience rape and selling her body for food and shelter.

If you really think that’s good parenting I hope you held on to those pokemon cards. I don’t know how old you are but you are nowhere near the maturity level of the 15 year olds referred to.

hired goon replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:19pm)

Sam - playing with Pokemon cards at 15? Wow. Like everyone has said, you’re an idiot.

By the way, the mother here isn’t letting her daughter have sex. The daughter is having sex with the knowledge of her mother. I highly doubt a ‘no nookie for you’ disapproval would stop the carnal acts.

kevin replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:48pm)

Sam,

How old are you now? are you still playing with pokemon cards or have you moved onto playing world of warcraft 16 hours a day?

you are a joke.

MikeyMike replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:56pm)

Sam, sounds like sour grapes to me. When you finally get to have sex with someone other than yourself, I’m sure your attitude will change. Your archaic outburst makes me wonder what sort of upbringing you had, especially if you were still playing with Pokemon cards when you were 15 !!

Vamsmack replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (02:01pm)

Yep Sam and you proved your point at 15 playing with Pokemon cards ISNT normal. They were made for 10 year olds… I think that this mother has done the best thing possible here. Been open honest & cultivated a relationship where her daughter can be open about this situation which a lot of teens would find difficult if not impossible to speak with their parents about.

So sam head back to comic-con and hang out with the 40 year old virgins.

Boiragi replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (02:35pm)

Wholeheartedly agreed..wholeheartedly...this is the first time I hard the voice of a strict proper parents. Starting sex at 15 and the husband is okay...is that family normal???

Did she do sex at 15? i mean the mother who is writing?

if my daughter had sex at 15, trust me there will an explosion......trust me.

Get your education..go to uni..get yourself a settled..then do whatever you want.....

I am sick of these wimpy parents these days!!!!!

Sam replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (02:43pm)

im female, you idiots.

Get Real replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (02:51pm)

Ditto with Sam & Boiragi

I would strongly encourage the daughter to at least wait until she was old enough.

DC replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (03:08pm)

Sam,

If you were playing with Pokemon at 15 then that would make you at most...23 years old, based on when they first appeared??

Its clear you have no children and one day my friend when you do you will be lucky if they are ‘JUST’ having sex at 15. There are lot far greater worries out there this day and age...weed, alchohol, speed, ice, ecstacy, the list goes on...grow up you idiot!! If you plan on giving your kids a slap to keep them in line, be prepared for the worst.

Mum you have done the right thing, good on you!

truthman replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (03:09pm)

What are you 90 or something? most people experiment sexualy at around 14/15 unless your dead ,its called nature .

Es of Mel replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (03:12pm)

Sam, I am assuming (and hoping) that you are not a mother of a teenager. If and when you are, then hopefully you would have pulled your head out of the sand and taken a huge medicinal dose of reality. I have a fifteen year old girl, and while she is not yet sexually active, nor does she have a boyfriend, I hope that when she does start, she has as much trust in me as the posters daughter has in her. I would rather my daughter comes and discusses it with me so I can help her protect herself from pregnancy and/or a nasty STI. Grow up Sam, get your nose out of those cards and start living in the real world.

Sam replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (03:23pm)

Are you guys for real? I have 4 girls and I canâ€™t believe you other parents are comfortable with this crap. You could apply this flawed logic of â€˜theyâ€™re going to do it anywayâ€™ to absolutely everything. Parenting is not just about throwing your hands in the air and saying â€˜oh well kids will be kids, thatâ€™s just the way it isâ€™. At 15 the girl is completely dependent on you for transport, money etc; so limit her options. Get in there and be assertive, you are in charge, you are the boss. They are just little kids for christ sakes. â€˜No you canâ€™t have ice cream for lunchâ€™, â€˜No you canâ€™t punch youâ€™re sister in the faceâ€™, â€˜No you canâ€™t have sex when youâ€™re 15â€™. Have a fight with them, get mad, piss them off. You are a parent not a contestent in a popularity contest.

jj of geelong (Reply)
Mon 01 Sep 08 (11:55am)

Im retyping the post so you can all see how an actual mother should react.
THe Poster shouldnt be writing in to Bossy saying my daughters a skank and i gave her condoms, she should be putting her foot down and showing whos boss.

UberHag replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (03:49pm)

and you definetly cant just sleep with someone because youâ€™ve known them for a few months.

I’m pretty sure you can, this may shock you Smeargle but I’ve slept with people I’ve only known for a few weeks, and one time I only knew the guy for ONE DAY! So stick that Turtwig up your Arceus!!!

Vamsmack replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (04:15pm)

Sam how are we to know that you are female? So we are idiots for not knowing this when you haven’t divulged this information....

Anyways its different strokes for different folks, some people MAY be ready at 15 some people mature faster and have a better grasp on life. If they are mature and approach this in a mature way(which they appear to have done) then there is nothing wrong with this. They have waited a few months then they are doing better than most 20-30 yr olds who hook up on the first night or date… or within weeks of meeting.

Abby replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (04:19pm)

Sam, you should be ashamed of yourself! This mother has made her own decision, that should have no concern to you, and she should be commended for all the appropriate steps that she has taken. I’m honestly amazed that anyone could be so simple minded in the 21st century. How dare you suggest that what she has done is pathetic, you are clearly not the person to be judging.

I know replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (04:21pm)

Sam you have no clue… firsty teens mature at different stages and everyone is different and Im sure it wasnt a rash decision if they actually discussed it with their olds… I became sexually active at 14 and I wasnt reffered to as a slut/ho or otherwise because I didnt have numerous boyfriends you would probably find that they’ve been in a relationship for a number of months and well love is love and clearly you’ve never felt it cause if you had you would understand, and as for pokemons at 15??? UMMM did you have friends? and have you been laid yet cause Id say NOT!!!

Kenny replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (04:31pm)

Sam, I believe you are the pathetic one. And I think all of the people who have replied before me agree with me. If you were playing with Pokemon cards at the age of 15, do you even know what sex is? Jeez, your parents need a right slapping if this is what their brainwashing has caused you to do. Sigh, shakes head

A.W replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (04:35pm)

In response to Boiragi and Sam

“Did she do sex at 15? i mean the mother who is writing?

if my daughter had sex at 15, trust me there will an explosion......trust me.

Get your education..go to uni..get yourself a settled..then do whatever you want.....”

Boiragi did you get an education or go to uni? Because if so your mastery of the English language and the correct use of grammar and punctuation leaves something to be desired. I assume by your broken language that you are either a) an immigrant or b) one of these people who amazingly got through Uni without ever writing a decent assignment but still somehow passed. I have no problem with Australian Universities accepting international students but please don’t give them a degree if they can’t convey a simple message using correct English.
As a student who is about to graduate my second degree after six years of study I find it hard to imagine having the self belief and determination to continue study without a loving, supportive relationship (and yes an important part of that was sexual interaction and stress relief).
This is a new generation who increasingly rely on digital media forms to communicate and who are losing the ability to form intimate relationships. Also many young girls are facing a range of insecurities to do with their bodies. If this woman’s daughter is lucky enough to have formed a loving relationship at this age, and is mature enough to have discussed it with her parents then I say congratulations Mum. Sex is a great way to gain self-confidence and acceptance provided it is in a loving, caring relationship. I’m sick of older generations making us feel that sex is something to be ashamed about. This girl respects her body enough to want to use contraception, and respects her relationship enough to feel unashamed of it and discuss it openly with her parents.
Yes at 15 when I knew some girls in my grade were having sex I may have thought they were ‘sluts’, but these girls were doing so secretly and without proper contraception with unsuitable partners.
I say good work Mum, I’m sure your daughter will grow up to be a responsible, happy loving adult as she appears to be well on the way already!

Samantha replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (04:38pm)

“Boiragi"… you are a worry. Just think about it....Did you have sex before you were married yourself? Are you a parent? Do you have teenagers? (I do hope not!)

In a perfect world we would all wait until we were married to have sex.... but pre-marital sex has been happening in every country since the beginning of time and burying your head in the sand with your own kids and teen sex will only make you a young grandparent!

You don’t have to agree with your kid’s decision or like your teens having sex… nor encourage it… but “Boiragi"… if your kids come to you with such personal things for advice… sex, drugs, alcohol.... believe me if you “explode” or think you are “wimpy” to give advice… then you will be one of the BAD parents and your kids won’t tell you or ask you these things if they know you will be pissed off rather than listening and helping them. Your kids will just go ahead and do these things uninformed and will be more likely to get themselves in trouble or pregnant. It takes real guts for teens to come to their parents about these things and it should be supported and encouraged. And… it takes guts as a parent to stay calm and not ‘explode’ when your kids tell you things you don’t want to hear or are just awful. What would you do if you 15yo said “I’m pregnant.. please help”?

Being a parent means giving advice on things you want to, to impart morals, to have rules and boundaries but also to realise that your teenager has their own opinion and will choose for themselves whether to or not to do something (whether you give them permission to or not!).

And… “Sam” to say this mum should slap her daughter and put her in her place… I hope you change your mind when you are a parent of teenagers and discuss things with them properly. Learn to listen to your kids, impart advice on your own experiences and also what you would prefer them to do but also learn to support THEM in THEIR decisions.

As a 42 yo mum of 5 kids.... aged 20, 19, 17, 14 & 13… I can assure you I know what I am talking about and “Sam”....being a parent of teenagers is tough. Discussing sex with 13, 14, 15 year olds doesn’t make them go out and have sex nor does it mean you encourage them or accept teen sex… but it does mean your can make more informed decisions and protect themselves if they do decide to have sex.

As you will learn “Sam” when and IF you are lucky enough to become a parent… your kids will be all different people who think and do different things and you end up giving different advice to different kids at different ages. Discussing the ‘difficult topics’ with your kids needs to be done with an open and accepting mind.

Angry replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (04:38pm)

SAM you absolute TWAT, you have just given SUCH a generalisation. Are all 15 years old have sex failures? I beg to differ with you MASSIVELY. I have won business awards in a male dominated industry, i am two years older than you, grew up in an executive household with two lovely, great parents and my life is a sucesss, not all people who have sex turn into goblins and hide inthe gutters you know.

OR perhaps this is your defence against being someone who was NOT approached to haev sex and does not know how to deal with it? LIfe happens Sam, deal with it.

People like you are the reason that the sale of anti abortion pill are being stalled, that teen pregnancy is has risen.

If you cant talk to your mother about things like this, then you are far less mature than the 15 year old being discussed here.

To the mum above, you are wonderful, you might not agree and feel 100 % comfortable about your daughter having sex, but she is, and you know about it and i think that is just great.

Red replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (05:26pm)

No kid of mine would be allowed to have sex at the age of 15, and I am only 22

The thing about the times have changed it’s bull.

The problem is the parents letting their kids get away with anything.

Red replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (05:26pm)

No kid of mine would be allowed to have sex at the age of 15, and I am only 22

The thing about the times have changed it’s bull.

The problem is the parents letting their kids get away with anything.

Carter replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (05:33pm)

She’s going to do it either with your permission or without - any other opinion is simply naieve.

Better you are able to talk about it with her as adults - which she is - and discuss contraceptive issues than turn her away to potentially far worse consequences.

MacTavish the Troll Hunter replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (05:53pm)

Tally Ho Jeeves!

Get the large calibre automatic will you, I have the scent of Troll in my nostrils!

Damn big one too, fine specimen.

Must be a bit slow at the moment from all the feeding it’s had extremely recently!

McTavish

z replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (05:58pm)

Sam you express my thoughts exactly.

One thing I can say, is at least the Mum and daughter do have a strong enough relationship for the daughter to be honest with her Mum.

I just hope that this Mother has also explained to her daughter that relationships are much more than just having intimacy. Relationships are built on many different levels and not just the physical.

I’m just dreading the thought of yet another “mistake” arriving in 9 months time.

Jojo replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (06:16pm)

Wow, finally, another 22 year old who has a good head on her shoulders.
Really, its hard to find teens who are socially and morally responsible because clearly, from here, we have the answer.
Scores of new age parents who think they are ‘going with the flow’ and ‘adapting’ to the sexual revolution going on in pre-teens today letting them run amok with loose values and screwed up mindsets validated (!) by the parents themselves that it is OK to do these things.
Some of you shock me with the fact that you send your daughters off with your blessings to get screwed by some first/second/third/countless boyfriend who isn’t even going to be anything but a notch on her and his belt.

C’mon people, parents nowadays have forgotten what its like to be strict, responsible and set boundaries.
You’ve become pushover pansies who become ‘friends’ with your kids and shamefully let them do ridiculous things which no parent in their right mind would allow their child to do 50 years ago.
This is because they knew this was wrong. Just because you want your child to talk to you it doesn’t mean you should give them the green light to be sexually promiscuous just to gain some sort of misplaced ‘acceptance’.

In fact, the ads which make STDs seem like they were a common cold (’1-in-5 of us have “insert STD”, don’t worry, just one pill solves the problem!’) make it even worse, creating social acceptance and complacency to the seriousness of STDs on people - worse of all, teenagers who should be having a proper education, upbringing and role model to mimic in life to be able to lead a successful life, not going around having having sex boy after boy unless she’s hankering for experience for a career in the sex industry.

Back then, the age was much higher. Then the age for sex got younger, and younger, and younger. Now its not common to see 11 year olds get pregnant and banged up by their classmates. Shock!
This girl is 15 years old. You are sending this girl a very bad message that in the name of parent-child communication, that all she has to do is tell you she plans to do something you’re going to jump up and down eagerly and give her your blessings.
Some teens use this as a tool to manipulate parents eager to open lines of communication with their children to get permission they would not otherwise get permission to do.
I’m not suggesting your child is doing that, but I’m saying the more you let this become the main lifeline for your child, the more they will even realise that its a great way to get you to close both eyes and accept their deeds by just telling you they plan to do it.
As her guardian and parent, its your responsibility to keep her out of trouble and certainly, teach her the right thing.
Tomorrow, if you have another child, and the social norm is 8 years old for their first sexual experience, are you going to slip her a condom and send her off to primary school with a hug and a wave, with your blessings?
How young does a child have to be before you draw the line?

“Keeping up with social norms” and “she’s going to do it anyway” is a perfectly convenient excuse to not exercise your parental authority and duty over your child.

If one day your child comes to you and tells you they want to take drugs, are you going to think “they’re going to do it anyway?”
Or even if it means putting your foot down and doing all you can to stop them from taking drugs, you will make sure they think twice before taking drugs?

And as for those who believe in ‘love’ at 15. That’s called a ‘crush’ It’s not love.
A child is a child. I’m sorry but with all these remarks at Sam mocking her for playing Pokemon cards at 15 instead of dressing like a slut and sleeping with the entire neighbourhood after visiting every club in the vicinity which seems to be the in thing for teenage girls nowadays - I’d rather my child be playing pokemon cards than servicing half the block of men in her ‘sexual experimentation’.

There’s nothing bitter or heavy-handed about it.
When you tell your child that its ok to act socially and personally irresponsible you are not only telling them you are such a person, you are also telling them that these things isn’t wrong - WHICH IT IS.
Just because something is socially accepted doesn’t make it right.

My parents are strict but very loving. I respect them greatly and I look up to them because they never did such things nor did they ever tell me such things were ok.
Because of this, I never slept around, I studied hard, I have strong moral and family values and I am now engaged to a lovely man who shares the same values as I.
In fact, it is because of what my parents taught me which made me realise how my actions have great consequences and how acting irresponsibly could not only affect my life, emotional stability, studies but also my parents.
Teens today forget that by doing such things they also hurt their parents, but in a huge way parents contribute to this uncaring attitude to their actions towards their families too!

Bottom line: They have to be accountable for their actions!

Mr Mischief replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (06:26pm)

If she doesn’t follow the rules, show her the door. If your child is sexually active at 15, it would also be my guess that they would probably take up your offer to move out. Not very productive is it?

sam replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (06:30pm)

“ This mother has made her own decision, that should have no concern to you”

If her decision shouldnt concern me why did she write on a public blog asking for our opinions. If she knew she did the right thing, she wouldnt need to ask random internet bloggers for their advice. Its obvious this mother knows shes an idiot for making it acceptable for her daughter to have sex at 15.

I dont care if you all think im narrow minded and blah blah BUT NO DAUGHTER OF MINE IS HAVING SEX at 15 so think what you want.

Juju replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (06:59pm)

Slap your daughter?

Great idea Sam - while she’s slapping her around perhaps she should chain her up as well. Sheesh. The lady is after constructive advice. From your comment all I can say is your life may have been different than this girls, and you should not be so judgemental. Alienation from her mother by implementing such rigidity after the fact is just plain dumb. I agree that many 15 year olds may not know what they are doing. But many 15 year olds do. I don’t know the girl so may she does, may she doesn’t. But the fact is, the deed is quite literally done now. The mother should offer support and wisdom, advice and understanding. Parenting is at times no fun. Our kids do what we want sometimes, and other times, they drive us crazy to the point of infuriation. It could be worse. The girl could be a complete slut. She could be doing drugs. She could be a street hooker. But she is simply doing what in a few years more would be seen as nothing out of the ordinary. She’ll grow up on her own accord. As long as she is safe and sensible, things should be fine and her life will go on. Before I close, my response has been absent of any religious views I have regarding the topic, which in this instance is against her actions, but as a Christian, I am not to judge.

pickle replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (07:01pm)

Sam.

You ignorant tool.Disturbingly if Pokemon cards were around when you were a teenager that would mean you’re not even old enough to justify being that ignorant.

I say again - you tool.

Red Hot Polka replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (07:12pm)

You should be so ashamed of yourself. Slap yourself out, someone oughta put you in your place, I’ll let you know that if you’re going to be living in out society that teenagers are going to not have sex whether you like it or not. If you donâ€™t like it, I’ll show you the door, don’t be in a hurry to get back. We dont get people like you these days. What do you know? When I was 15 I was having sex left, right and centre (Pokemon cards? No wonder you never had sex). At 15 you can be in love, and you can sleep with someone if you feel you are ready. You are pathetic!

Tight replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (08:20pm)

The crazy sexualization of our culture in recent years will be the downfall of society.

Darell replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (08:26pm)

Don’t worry Sam, one day you will lose your virginity too!

Emmy replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (09:29pm)

Sam i am a young adult, i was having sex at 13. I trusted my mum to talk about it and she too provided methods of contraception.

I have never had an std, i haven’t been pregnant and i grew up just fine as a respectable young female.

Btw if you were playing with pokemon cards at 15 and you have 4 daughters then you mustn’t have had contraception because pokemon cards were about 7 years ago which would make you all of about 22 years old with four daughters as you claim.

So shame on you.

the monkey replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (09:35pm)

yeah sam, good solution. Im sure after she gives her a good talking down to, the parents should just sit down with their eyes shut, hands over their ears singling lalalala and im sure nothing bad will happen. Im sure this mum would prefer her daughter not to be having sex, however she is trying her best with the situation she has been presented with.

Platinum replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (10:18pm)

There are obviously two Sams here:

Sam 1 says:

Sam replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:41pm)

Firstly, im 22.

Sam 2 says:

Sam replied to Sam
Mon 01 Sep 08 (03:23pm)

Are you guys for real? I have 4 girls and I canâ€™t believe you other parents are comfortable with this crap.

I hope that these are 2 different people because a 22-y-o with 4 children has either been blessed with multiple births or has seriously been popping ‘em out over a scant period of 6 years… Bravo, my dear, and given your antipathy to “skank/slut/ho"s I imagine they’re all to the same man??

Laura replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (12:49am)

Platinum u idiot, if you read the whole post ull see that Sam was pasting another post she had read.

Laura replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (12:49am)

Platinum u idiot, if you read the whole post ull see that Sam was pasting another post she had read.

Graeme replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (02:42am)

Seems to me a lot of people are ignorant about what goes on in the real world. I don’t see that teenagers are any more sexually mature now than they were 40 years ago. They may have been given more education about the consequences of sex and about STDs and be able to make a more informed decision. There were plenty of 15 years old and younger having sex when I was around that age and I am over 60 now. For those who say they wouldn’t let their daughter do it doesn’t mean she won’t. Its good to see that the daughter is able to talk to her mother about it.

Michael replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (03:09am)

That’s quite odd that you should say that Sam. Consider this - looking back 100 years ago, most girls were married with children by 20. Some younger. I think my great grandmother was married at 18, with a first child in that same year. Now, today, kids might start having sex at 15, but then they finish highschool, go through uni, graduate uni, start a career, move in with friends, move in with a partner, live together for 5 years, and then finally get married in their mid 30’s or so, with kids not long after. So whilst they might be do some things younger, they are generally making more mature decisions from a younger age than the generations that figured marriage at 18 was the way to go.

lilyflowr replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (07:39am)

As an eighteen-year-old girl, I feel that I probably know much more about today’s teen sexuality than most of the other posters, no offense to those older than me. I started dating when I was 15 and I have had two long-term boyfriends, the second of whom I am still with after two years (I was 16 when we began dating). I am a virgin. I plan to stay that way until marriage, and so do most of my friends. I think it is entirely reasonable to expect teenagers to refrain from having sex, regardless of what popular media says on the topic. If I met the 15-yr-old girl described in the blog, I would probably encourage her to stop having sex. Sexual activity is an incredibly bad choice for someone so young. The emotional and spiritual damage could last her whole life.

What was that about times having changed? Try talking to some teens who are truly sensible. We know better than to risk STD’s, pregnancy, and heartbreak for a little fun in the sack.

Brendan replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (08:33am)

Got to catch ‘em all.. POKEMON!

Haley replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (08:44am)

Are you serious Sam????
I had sex at 15 and I turned out just fine. I have also been in the same relationship for 5years now I am 23 and am in no means a skank or a ho.
I think it’s fantastic that this young woman has talked to her mother about it and that they have that open relationship so she’s not alone if something did go wrong.
Lets face it there are girls as young as 11 and 12 having sex and selling themselves on the street all this girl is doing is having sex with her boyfriend and has been mature enough to discuss contraception. I think your the pathetic one Sam!!

Jeska replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (09:15am)

Pokemon cards at 15? Just because you were a nerd doesn’t mean this girl should be too.

I find it funny when people say “15 is too young for love”...pretty sure thats how old my grandparents were when they got together 50 odd years ago and my parents were around that age too.

Denny Crane replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (09:23am)

Denny must remember to never EVER mention Pokemon in a reply. People get angry over that shit.

Denny Crane

Sunshine replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (09:24am)

Ha ha ha, pokemon cards! Well then you weren’t having sex because you were clearly a nerd. You probably shouldn’t presume to know how teens feel either - it doesn’t tend to get you very far.

Ally replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (10:29am)

I probably wouldn’t encourage my child to do anytyhing illegal, whether they felt it was right or not. Having a juevenille record is not a good way to start a life.
My advice is to ask them to cool off until they are both 16. It isn’t far away anyway and it would give them time to get to know each other better and just enjoy each other’s company out with friends.

Lmao@Monkey replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (10:39am)

Stop feeding this monkey nuts ppl.

Sam is most likely a 50yr old female virgin with a single room studio apartment in Redfern & only owning a computer as a social networking tool.

Mama30 replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (10:57am)

SAM: Get that plug out of your butt right now.

Rooster replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (12:16pm)

This is hilarious the number of replies to Sam’s post! I felt left out so I feel the need to add as well.

Hey Denny, on this controversial topic - how do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
?
?
?
?
You pokemon… get it.. poke-him-on

Pete replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (12:44pm)

Show her the door… What so she can become one of the many kids abandoned and living on the streets.

Btw: where did this notion come from that 15 is too young for sex - biologically people can have sex far younger and it is only modern (last 200-300years) society that created this. Prior to this, and in many other societies, people had sex and children in early teens.

steve replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (12:47pm)

What Planet do you live on? i can see you being a lonely old man.Shame on you for not moving into the 21st century.

Fin replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (12:48pm)

Girls who have sex at 15 never end up good do they? What a generalisation Sam!

FYI, you’re wrong. For the record I lost my virginity at 14 (OMG, the horror of it, I must be a slut) and went on to get a very good score in my HSC, entry to a competitive university course and now hold a management role in a blue chip company.

What did you do with your life Sam after you waited the appropriate time to have sex? What has made you such a “good girl”?

Mum, I think you’ve done the right thing too. My mum always made sure we were comfortable talking to her about it and even let my sister do it in her room at home when she was 16! Why? because she wanted to know we were safe and not down at the beach with some weirdo watching us from the bushes…

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ...

Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!

Denny Crane.

Sha replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (01:24pm)

More the point, isn’t pokemon for kids under the age of 12?

If you were playing with Pokemon cards at 15 of course you were thinking of anything else.....

I had moved out of home by the age of 16, not everyone lives sheltered lives!

Convict replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (01:42pm)

As someone who works in sexual health, i think your full of crap Sam!
If only more parents had the great relationship that this mother has with her daughter, then there would be less “mistakes” or STIs transmitted.
Although parents may not agree with their children having sex, the fact is that they are. They are experiementing earlier than even when i was a teenager. At least 15 year old can make informed decisions and know the facts.
Also for everyones information, AIDS is not transmitted, HIV is.

simpleben replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (02:15pm)

phew tough one, I can see both sides arguement here.
A few question to the poster before I comment

1) What did your husband say about all this? are you sure he is all good about it?

2) You do know that you are breaking the law? if words gets around that you are letting 2 underage teen fucking under your roof and the school or child Protection agency gets involved, what would you do?

Commonstench replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (03:24pm)

Hi Sam, I Like you!

You sound tough, I find that sexy. Do you also have one of those red balls with leather straps?

Rooster replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (04:33pm)

LOL @ Denny… good one!

Jayson replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (04:38pm)

SAM...... Playing with Pokemon cards when you were 15? If I can remember correctly I was 11 when Pokemon Cards were the all the rage so that would put us nearly in the same age bracket. Im now 21 so that makes you 25 max. When I hit 13 years old and subsequently hit puberty, trading cards went out of fasion quickly. How does a 25 year old person develop such strong feelings on teenage sex?? Only conclusion I can come up with is that when you were 15 and preoccupied with your pokemon cards, other normal teens were being taugh (in schools) about all topics involved with sex. They arent undereducated, they know what everything is called, where it goes, how to apply and most importantly when not to engage.....
Just sounds to me like your angry because your 25 and still a virgin, get with the times.

Tony replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (04:43pm)

Sam if i knew you when you were 15 and playing with POKEMON cards i would slap you… sex is a right of passage and NO ONE can determine when it is the “right time"… i hope they spend the rest of there lives together happily just to prove you wrong… FOOL!

James replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (04:46pm)

Super Troll!!!

PS I was in love at 15. Looking back 20 years later I was still in love. Different to how I feel it now, but there are many, many, many types of love.

Wish I could still fall as madly as I did I did when I was 15. : )

Reader replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (04:58pm)

Sam you sound like an old hag....and admitting that you used to play with pokemon cards at 15!!! WOW I feel embarrassed for you ...Now THATS someting to be ashamed of. I mean Pokemon cards were around when I was a kid but my parents were smart enough to stear me away from that sort of rubbish...(all the weirdies used to play with them) and 15 is a little bit old to be playing with pokemon....ahh Shame!

Good on Mum and Daughter and Boyfriend. Wish them all the best. With such an open and honest relationship things are on the right track...Communication and honesty are the key!!

shellz replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (06:05pm)

I’m going to have to agree with you on that one. 15 is way way to young...she’s still a kid regardless of how much society’s attitudes have changed. I certainly wouldn’t consent to my daughter engaging in such acts at 15 and i’m 22. Your daughter should realise that she’s not yet entitled to all the privleges of being an adult (ie freedom) until she becomes an adult. She should wait till she is atleast 18, then she can shag like crazy.

Rosie replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (06:07pm)

Sam - you should be ashamed of yourself, not the other way around.
This girl has come to her mother to speak to her about being sexual active, she was open and honest about it. If the mum says no, what is the girl going to do? Go to a party, go in to a spare room and do it there! Be realistic, come on.
Yes 15 is young, but so be it. She’s mature enough to speak to her mum about it, and the boyfriends parents know about it. There isn’t an issue here. I’d be proud that my daughter could talk to me about it!
Why do you have to be in love to have sex? You do. Sex is for pleasure, and yes it can be enjoyed with someone you’re deeply in love with - but this is 2008, not 1848. People have sex for fun, money, pleasure - the list goes on.
I honestly can’t believe you wrote ‘slap your daughter’...absolutely appauling. Not only would this girl resent her mother, she’d still go out and have sex. You’re so naive to think that girls are all virgins and angels at 15. Now, grow up - go speak to your children about sex and see what they have to say.

mark replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (07:05pm)

Having sex at such a young age is just a big gamble, sooner or later your partner may not want to use protection as often or you may get your cycle wrong, or maybe take the pill on the wrong day.

You are exposed to getting pregnant with a person who will most likely not stick around to raise your child, and all the consequences that arise out of it such as a career, financial struggle , etc. You are also at risk of getting STD, as using contraception does not protect you completely of getting one.

I think waiting for the right person is a good thing!

mark replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (07:06pm)

Having sex at such a young age is just a big gamble, sooner or later your partner may not want to use protection as often or you may get your cycle wrong, or maybe take the pill on the wrong day.

You are exposed to getting pregnant with a person who will most likely not stick around to raise your child, and all the consequences that arise out of it such as a career, financial struggle , etc. You are also at risk of getting STD, as using contraception does not protect you completely of getting one.

I think waiting for the right person is a good thing!

Michael replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (07:30pm)

If kids want to do drugs they will. Kids are going to experiment aren’t they? If a teenager tells her parents she’s smoking pot and the parents tell her to stop, you think she’ll listen? So why not educate her about weed, buy her a bong and let her smoke at home, i mean she’s going to do it anyway right? That’s the day and age we live in, people are smoking up at a younger age these days. This girl should be commended for being honest with her parents and telling them she’s smoking pot and the parents commended for talking to her about it and buying her a bong

Shai replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (08:08pm)

When I was 15 I definitely wasn’t playing with pokemon cards. Unless that’s what gets you off.

The fact is, the kids jam packed full of hormones. She’s in a relationship and she is feeling emotions that she wants to express. You have no right to judge another persons actions, and you have no right to place condemnation on a person for feeling what they’re feeling.

When/If you have kids, I hope they spit in your face and tell you to get stuffed. Making comments like “Slap her out” is really ****ed up. Do you know the amount of ruined families there are because of people with mindsets like yours? The amount of adults that had parents with mindsets like yours that find it difficult to function in todays society.

I think you need the slapping out buddy. Maybe once you get laid you’ll feel a little better.

sexmaniac replied to Sam
Tue 02 Sep 08 (10:27pm)

HEY EVERYONE, LETS GET ALL OUR YOUNG GIRLS AND BOYS AND HAVE A WILD SEX ORGY!! WHO’S IN IT??

SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE ALL IN THE MOOD LOOKING AT YOUR RESPONSES. I’LL CALL AROUND, EVEN POST ON FACEBOOK, GET SOME PEOPLE FROM NEXTDOOR. COULD EVEN SET A NEW RECORD WITH THE MOST NUMBER OF 15 YEAR OLDS HAVING SEX IN ONE NIGHT???

Denny Crane replied to Sam
Wed 03 Sep 08 (08:38am)

Capital idea, sexmaniac.

Denny Crane.

Kieran replied to Sam
Wed 03 Sep 08 (02:47pm)

Haha, I smell the sweet ignornace of virginity here. 15 and playing with pokemon cards? I was younger than that when they were in, and I could even tell that they were crap.
Ill bet you still run from the opposite sex, but now you hide behind Dungeons and Dragons or whatever it is you anti-social opposite-sex-phobes do with your time (apart from your two minutes of ‘alone’ time you allocated for yourself in lieu of having a girlfriend, lover, partner, best friend and companion. Get a life you peanut.

Brendan replied to Sam
Wed 03 Sep 08 (02:49pm)

Ah ha ha ha. POKEMON? Are you serious?

If thats what you were doing when you were fifteen, at best you would be in your early twenties, and therefore - given your obvious repulsion at the idea of sex - not have any children of your own.

Children are not Pokemon “Sam”. They cannot be controlled and called upon, and certainly dont obey your every command.

Back to your fantasy land loser, and stay there.

Emily replied to Sam
Wed 03 Sep 08 (04:22pm)

Wow, I didn’t realise we’d backtracked to 1955!

Wake up, and look around. It’s 2008, and kids these days are older than what they used to be. 15 is not an unreasonable age, especially if their partner is the same age, and if the person in question is employing various methods of contraception as well as telling their parents about it, then they definitely sound mature enough to be taking that step.

With an attitude like that Sam, your daughter will most definitely end up pregnant, with an STD, and will probably drop out after year 10.

Congratulations on suffocating/sheltering your children into stupidity and ignorance.

Sam (a different one) replied to Sam
Wed 03 Sep 08 (04:31pm)

Well done Sam - what is pathetic is playing pokeman at 15 - grow up times have changed, it is those sorts of attitudes that drive kids away from opening up to their parents and being honest and reaching out for advice and help - moron

David replied to Sam
Thu 04 Sep 08 (12:28am)

I’m not quite sure what your goal is, to stop her from having sex for 6 months, until she is legally allowed to? To try to un-ring a bell? The girl is sexually active and the likelihood of that stopping is very small. It is unlikely that Kate is happy that her daughter is sexually active, yet.....or maybe ever, however her daughter is being mature and responsible.
Sam I get the feeling that you believe that you are a good mother because your kids are home before dark and therefor there is no hokey pokey. Much like my parents......but after school and on weekends (before dark) well we all got together and watched “Dare....Double dare PHYSICAL CHALLENGE”.......

David replied to Sam
Thu 04 Sep 08 (12:31am)

Oh by playing with Pokemon cards.....you didn’t mean masturbation....?

Youngen replied to Sam
Thu 04 Sep 08 (10:14am)

Hi Sam,

I’m 18, I AM the generation you’re bitching about… and yes, i had sex when i was 15.

I wish I had a my mum there to help me with contraception ideas. In stead - i got it from sex ed classes at school, magazines and friends.

I don’t regret having sex when i did, and i’m not going to put up with your nonsense, come with me on day, come to where i work, where i went to high school and see what the youth is really like. Unless you’re almost “special” Pokemon cards are out by about 12-13… grade 8 (QLD).

So, when you’re ready to suck it up and get a nice little reality shock, let me know - and i’ll give you grand tour of social expectations and the rate that our youth is growing up - the rate i am growing up. No one i work with has ever gotten my age right.

Until then - you just keep living your dream land buddy… up there in the clouds where nothing can touch you.

garfield replied to Sam
Mon 08 Sep 08 (03:31pm)

To be completely honest, Sam, I am genuinely in pity for your kids. all four of them. who in God’s name are you to say what you’ve just said - can’t be in love at fifteen? hey, just because you weren’t fortunate enough to experience it doesn’t mean that it’s not out there. you’ve probably come from some Nazi-like upbringing where sex is “wrong”, and instead you resorted to playing with pokemon cards? and suggesting that she slap her child? I can only pray that you’re kids dont get this treatment.

I have so many things that I’d love to say right now but they are simply too rude to write. grow up you stupid woman, and change your ways before your kids realise that their mother is a complete and utter tosser. I pity you.

Britney replied to Sam
Tue 09 Sep 08 (11:32am)

Sam, you see the world through your own small-pokemon-shaped eyes. Good on you, you idiot!

howhowbangbang replied to Sam
Fri 12 Sep 08 (02:38am)

Sam, I hope your daughter [G-d forbid, if you have one] has sex when she’s 15. Lots and LOTS of sex. [Protected, of course.]

While, like you, I had nothing to do with sex when I was 15, I see no reason to condemn this woman for letting her child do otherwise. It seems as though her daughter is quite responsible and more than capable of being in a relationship. It should also be noted that her daughter has known this boy for more than just “a few months”. They have been dating several months and I’m sure they’ve known each other for quite awhile previously.

While it is hard to believe, there is a slight chance that a 15 year-old could be in love. Maybe you weren’t when you were 15, but I’ve known plenty of people who were.

Sam my darling, YOU are the pathetic one.

R replied to Sam
Sun 14 Sep 08 (04:09pm)

Well we all know what Sam’s relationship is like with her daughters. Full of lies and deceit coz they cant talk to there Mum. Now that is sad and pathetic. Open your eyes Sam. Its not 1950

renae replied to Sam
Tue 16 Sep 08 (07:44am)

dont hit your kid the person that said that.heres a message for you WAKE UP.Ican see your kids would hide there relationships from you they wouldnt be able to talk to you with out you going off its not heathly give avice dont be a animal to you kids or be like me and you will have no mum to talk to ia 16 and i cant tell her my life with my man is great

hmmmmmmmm replied to Sam
Wed 17 Sep 08 (04:14pm)

Sam, I am guessing that you would be the type of mother that would give your children the basic information on the functions of sex, is that correct? And I’m guessing that as a result of this strict manner that your children would think that sex is a taboo subject. Personally speaking now, I received that type of functional sex talk which resulted in me having sex with a teacher at the age of 13 and not realising that I was having sex. I ended up pregnant with an STI, and unable to speak to my mother about it. Still to this day she is unaware of it. I felt I had no option than to leave home, because I was more scared of disapointing my mother than I was being young, pregnant and sick!!!

Jenna replied to Sam
Fri 19 Sep 08 (12:41pm)

SAM. you are an idoit there is no age on love ok and this girl is a champ for tellin her mum and she is using protection. her age has nothing to do with it, its what she wants

K replied to Sam
Sun 21 Sep 08 (03:21pm)

At what age is it possible for a person to fall in love? 18? 20? Is there some type of switch that gets flipped when one turns a certain age? Well, just to inform you, just because you were not mature enough to experience that emotion at 15, does NOT mean that no one else in the world is. You neglect to recognize that times have changed and that kids have been forced to mature at a much younger age than those of your generation. The world today is vastly different that it was in those times. To assume that any kind of emotion whether it be love, hate, envy, etc. is impossible at a young age is just ignorant thinking. That dismissal of the competency of your child will drive a wedge between that child and their parent; kids will not come to you about problems if they think that you will dismiss them or their emotions. And as far as how strict you are, that will not help you in parenting. All that will get you is resentment. Teens will do what they want whether you like it or not whether you know about it or not. Teens cover for each other in case you didnâ€™t know, and their friends WILL help them to do what they want and have you completely oblivious. No compromising is the parental stance that you have taken and is a mistake many parents make. For the sake of you and your children I hope that you have come off more harsh than you actually are.

Nate replied to Sam
Sat 27 Sep 08 (10:18am)

Yeah, it’s so wrong that she’s having sex! She’s only 15, how dare she have urges, a mind of her own, and genitals! GENITALS AT 15, IT’S UNHEARD OF. She should have her breasts cut off and her vagina stitched shut like they do in the muslim countries. She shouldn’t be having sex until AT LEAST 18 because we all know that she becomes automatically mature enough the very second it hits her 18th birthday. Actually, preferably NO SEX, EVER, because that’s the puritanical catholic way.

By the way, that was all sarcasm, and you’re a goddamn freak who I’d be willing to bet good money is disgusted by his or her own anatomy.

alex replied to Sam
Wed 01 Oct 08 (01:36pm)

are you crazy?! What do you mean you can’t love at fifteen? I’m 15 and I’m happily in love with the greatest girl in the world. I know the way I feel about her and there is no one who I could possibly love more. Maybe you should think before you post a comment like that.

Amy replied to Sam
Mon 06 Oct 08 (09:34am)

Okay, for one you don’t known this girl. So don’t just assume that she doesn’t known anything about who she is with or what she is doing. If she wants to be that way with her boyfriend then that fine, and her mother knowns. I would rather known and make sure my daughter doesn’t get preg. rather than her do, by helping her make it a better sitaution. Not every teenager is immature.

Social Justice replied to Sam
Tue 07 Oct 08 (06:37pm)

Sam

THe girls that have sex at 15 dont really end up being all that good do they?

Utter Rot!!! My Great Grandma married at 15, she had five children and lived to 93 without ever looking at another man.

And

let her know that if she is going to be living under your roof that she is going to not have sex until she is of the appropriate age.

You’ve got to be kidding, all that would do is cause the girl to either be secretive going behing her Mum’s back, or even worse running away and ending up in trouble.

Having sex at 15 isn’t ideal, but it’s better that she does it safely and that she has a good trusting relationship with her Mum. At least now, with proof of mutual respect established, if she does something truly stupid like taking drugs, she might accept it if her Mum says “No that’s not on.” She is more likely to listen to her Mum.

snla replied to Sam
Wed 15 Oct 08 (04:53am)

wow to the comment.. You should be so ashamed of yourself. Slap your daughter out, put her in her place, and let her know that if she is going to be living under your roof that she is going to not have sex until she is of the appropriate age.If she doesnâ€™t like it show her the door, trust me she will be running back to you in no time. I dont get parents these days.. bearocratic bullshit haha better reeducate yourself missy women are eligable for marriage in the middle east when they have their first period and the age of sexual consent in canada is 15.. obviously tells me something is wrong with our culture..

Celeste replied to Sam
Mon 24 Nov 08 (09:25am)

Pokemon cards at 15?

How terribly immature.

My brother quit playing with those when he was 7.

Sounds like sour grapes from a former adolescent loser.

Penny replied to Sam
Tue 25 Nov 08 (04:14pm)

I completely agree with Sam, 15 is too young. No 15 year old should feel that they NEED or WANT to have sex.

The desire for this 15 year old ‘kid’ to validate herself through sex obviously shows poor self respect and and a poor background in relationships. The mother is to blame, let your daughter know that there should be no rush to get into such a serious and adult act.

Sad, sad sad. replied to Sam
Sat 06 Dec 08 (12:44pm)

Sam........ Your just odd… 15 and playing with poke’mon cards...... so sad man to learn that you had no life…
And by the way i think what this mothers doing is great. take this from a 15 year old who knows some primary schoolmates who are now pregnant.

Mass respect to you Mum.

Mark replied to Sam
Tue 09 Dec 08 (09:32pm)

Sam you have no clue what you’re talking about. when’s the last time you were 15? I lost my virginity when i was 15. Teenagers are having sex. To most people. sex is appropriate at the age of 15

Sarah replied to Sam
Thu 22 Jan 09 (04:44pm)

Sam, I am your age. Pokamon at 15, c’mon!
Both my best friend and I made (separate) decisions to have sex when we were 15.. Her for the first time to her boyfriend of 3 years, me to my boyfriend of 3 weeks. My mother was supportive and understanding. Her mother wouldn’t let them go to the movies or shopping by themselves.
Long story short. I lost my virginity in my bed and am now married to that man, gone to uni, and now a scientist. She lost it in a bush at a party and ended up pregnant and had a baby at 16, lives at home with her parents still and works as a check out chick.
So nice logic Sam.. Look luck raising your child

Syphrez replied to Sam
Wed 28 Jan 09 (05:54pm)

HAHAHAHAHHA OMG SAM YOU ARE THE SADDEST 22 YR OLD I KNOW! You played pokemon cards when you were 15? That just shows you have a great social life. What mum is doing is completely rightï¼ If like many people have said If you do not support them do you think they will care? They will do it behind your back and lie to your face knowing you will just object to them every single time. Grow Up Sam, Get a life and seriously think before you type. You are the reason why Emos are born and I bet you going to become one of Australia’s 60yr old Virgin

May replied to Sam
Wed 04 Feb 09 (04:44pm)

When I have children I will be telling them no sex before marriage… (Now I didn’t wait till I was married, but I was 19 and have been in a relationship for 8 years.I am 27.)Hopefully they will listen, or at least be in a steady relationship if they do do it.

Although, if (and when)I have a daughter and if she had the courage to come to me at 15 and say she was having sex, I would let her know that I was extremely disappointed in her but I wouldn’t cast her out(I think that will just cause more trouble). I would like to think that I would help her with getting contraceptives.

Oh and my friends started (dating at 14)having sex at 15. They are now 26, happily married and have a beautiful 9month old daughter. So you can’t always say that at 15 you can’t be in love.

I think you are right, in that the kids are going to do it whether you like it or not, so you should try to make it as safe as possible. I believe you are doing the right thing and I also agree with Bossy that you should be congratulated in that fact that your daughter willing told you about this. Many, many others would not have.

I think it’s great that your daughter feels this comfortable with you; and the fact that you are saying ‘don’t do it just because I don’t like it’ shows that you have respect for her and the decisions she makes. I also think it is great you are helping her with contraceptives as well, which also ensures that you don’t become a grandmother before your time.

I’d have to agree with both TQOC and Bossy. The writer shows all the signs of a complete success as a parent:

1) At 15, your daughter is already able to face adult decisions and their consequences maturely.

2) She trusts you enough to talk to you even about things that most teenagers would rather gnaw their own arm off than discuss.

3) This in turn allows you to trust your daughter on more serious matters, and be more confident that she *won’t* hide things from you.

All up, well done! These days, if there’s grass on the wicket, generally there’s already been cricket played, if you catch my meaning. But in this case at least there’s mutual trust and respect flying around like most parents wouldn’t believe. Good work!

Well, unless you put a chasity belt on her, is no way to really stop it, least she told you, so you have some input on what is happening.

Just be there when she falls out with her boyfriend and he blabs across the school yard.

Amazon, that is EXACTLY what happened to my nextdoor neighbour. The mother had no issues with her 14 year daughter having sex. Her and her boyfriend broke up and he blabbed to everyone what a rotten lay she was.........then the girl discovered she was pregnant! My nextdoor neighbour now spends her weekends looking after her little grand-daughter as her daughter spends time partying!!

But I really hope the same thing doesnt happen to this lady!

mike j replied to amazon
Mon 01 Sep 08 (02:56pm)

So AJ, maybe it’s 14 that is too young, because the consensus here seems to be that 15 is fine. Is it just me, or is this a slippery slope?

There’s no denying that the law is usually a few steps behind public sentiment, but then again it is unequivocal: 16 is not the recommended age of sexual activity, it’s the minimum age of informed consent.

Kate, while I don’t necessarily disagree with you, I do think your reply is irresponsible. Your advice on this complex issue is simplistic and one-sided. You justify this behaviour by saying kids ‘will [be sexually active] if they want to’, but would you apply the same argument to drug use or participation in pornography or prostitution? Would your advice be the same if the girl’s boyfriend was 30?

As for your suggestion that the poster shouldn’t be soliciting the opinions of her friends because they are contrary to her own… well, that’s just plain nutty. If her friends are concerned enough to be criticising her actions, perhaps she should be taking note.

To the OP: it is a credit to your parenting that your daughter is honest with you (albeit after the fact)… and an indictment upon it that you didn’t know what was happening in the first place.

And, finally, to the parents of the boyfriend in question… high fives! Doing a great job.

Chris L replied to amazon
Mon 01 Sep 08 (03:38pm)

Who decided that 16 is the minimum age anyway? The human body is ready for sex at 12 or 13, sometimes earlier. The only reason this messes girls around is because their friends get jealous of the attention she’s getting and start hating her. Get real! Education is the key to making an informed decision and this mother has ensured that. How wonderful to hear about a good parent rather than all those stories about bad parents!

Good on you mum. Sounds like you have raised a very open and trusting daughter who you have a very strong relationship with. Your daughter is also hanging out with the ‘right’ boys, ones who are also honest, trusting and open with his parents. Give yourself a huge pat on the back.

Mum i think you are correct on how you delt with the situation.
When i was 15years old and experimenting like your daughter i went to my mum, my mum sat me down , explained how important it is to practise it safely and today i thank her so much for that .
By being open minded to your daughter it just shows now she can come to you to confide in , and to trust you with out doing it behind your back and dreading comming to you.

No one can tell a daughter when it is the right or wrong time to do this , she would have gone behind your back anyway…

Congratulations, I think you’re doing the best thing possible for all concerned.

One little thing though - with regard to telling the parents of your daughter’s friends she’s sexually active - I doubt your daughter and her boyfriend would like that kind of information shared around. People can be very judgmental you know and very cruel.

As Bossy said, congratulations on raising a daughter who can come to you for advice! I know how hard it was to have that conversation with my mother and I was 19 years old!!!

Whilst I know it is not ideal for 15yo’s to be having sex, if they are going to do it, they are going to do it. Having a zero tolerance attitude won’t help - they would only go behind your back. Any parent who thinks otherwise really is deluded.

I think you have made the right decision. I only have 2 bits of advice:

~ make sure the Implanon is the right decision for her - I recently had it removed after 3 years and it played havoc with my sex drive
~ whilst it is good that you have acknowledged that they are having sex, try to minimise the times that they can - I’m not saying go out of your way to stop them, just simply keep your ground rules. E.g not leaving them alone for whole weekends etc - she has to learn to be responsible.

Keep up the communication between yourself and your daughter and I believe you will continue to have a wonderful relationship.

Are you serious? I have never had that conversation with either of my parents, and I’m now 34 and married!
If I am ever fortunate to have children of my own, I will be sure to forge a close bond with them, which is something my mother didn’t do with me.

When I was 15.... 5 years ago :S
I had a boyfriend. I thought about having sex with him… But I didn’t becuase the opportunity didn’t arise.. I bet we would of if the opportunity did arise. We were pretty serious about each other.. and started to date when we were 13.

Now I agree with this lady about letting them have sex..

I lost my virgnity when I was 16. With my now current Boyfriend.. we are now engaged. :D

I got the implanoen in my arm
BUT It made me sot bleed.. It was great, appart form that.. I got it removed and started on the pill....

Sarah yes I am serious. It is that close bond with the child that you talk about that allows you to have these conversations. Of course, no matter the bond they will never be extremely comfortable conversations.

I had a boyfriend when I was 16 who I was extremly close to....I would even go as far to say it was love. My mother, whilst never giving me the opportunity to really be alone with him, basically said that if we were going to have sex I was going straight to the doctor. It was my decision not too - my husband was my first and I am glad I had waited that long. But even if I hadn’t I know that I would have had a mother who would have supported me and treated me with respect as I acted responsibly.

I agree with bossy 100%.
from 13+ kids are having sex of some flavour or another.
Parents who forbid it are kidding themselves. It’ll end in a strained relationship at best, where the child lies about where they are going, what they are doing, whatever, or, at worst a teen pregnancy and a dramatic life change. Not that this is the end of the world, but it’s certainly a less than ideal situation for a 15 year old.

Too many parents expect their children to obey them without question. This never works. Let kids make their own informed choices regarding most of lifes pitfalls (drugs, sex, booze, school, whatever) and once they realise that the freedom, AND the consequences are theirs, they often mature much faster and become better people than overly sheltered kids who’s parents try to keep their kids away from any situation where the child’s own judgement is needed.

Kids will make bad decisions, by educating them instead of forbiding it, you’re ensuring that they are less likely to make mistakes that they cannot learn from.
Congratulations

Good on you! I think its wonderful that you are supporting your daughter and showing her that you trust her judgement and maturity.

You recognised that if you didn’t provide her with this support, that she would probably just do it anyway, and potentially in an unsafe manner. And you might not have found out until it was too late.

My parents raised me in a similar way, and I am thankful everyday that growing up I knew I had their trust, and that I could talk to them about anything and everything. Including if I ever made mistakes.

Well done - and stuff what the other parents think - they’ll come to you for advice when their kids run away from home.

Congratulations, I think you’re doing the best thing possible for all concerned.

One little thing though - with regard to telling the parents of your daughter’s friends she’s sexually active - I doubt your daughter and her boyfriend would like that kind of information shared around. People can be very judgmental you know and very cruel.

Wow, for your own daughter to come out like that to you and ask for your opinions?
You’ve done well as a parent. You should be proud of yourself.

My mum is/was (my brother and I are both sexually active and have been for a while....not to each other, by the way ) the same as you, always said that it was bound to happen and the least she could do was protect us and give us somewhere safe to do the deed.

Screw what the other people have to say. This speaks volumes about how well you must have brought your kid up, with her showing all that trust to confide in you. Stick it to the other mums, do what you’re doing.

As Bossy said, she ain’t gunna get her virginity back, may as well make the most of this situation (hardly sounds like a bad one to me!) and be proud of your parental efforts :D

I would say good on you, it’s far better to have a teenager that is open to you and that you can advise her on how to protect herself, rather than one who does it behind your back, gets pregnant or catches a std. I hope I can be so open and forth right with my daughter but somehow it concerns that I won’t. I have no issue whatsoever with your attitude or how you go about doing it, I take my hat off to you if anything, because rather than alienate and force her to go underground you embrace her decisions and empower her to be resposnsible, lets face it, she most likely would have gone behind your back if you were not so upfront anyway.

Im all for open communication with your kids, but please ensure you keep it strictly business when it comes to your interest in her personal life.

There is nothing more creepy than a mother who knows the in’s and out’s of their childrens sex life. Its un-natural and inappropriate.

The facts are that your daughter is underage. Before you took her off to the chemist, have you recognised that she is mature enough to engage in a sexual relationship? Is she in love? Does the boyfriend love and respect your daughter?
Is she aware of STD’s and AIDS?

I get that its inevitable that teenagers will experiment but at 15, Im hoping a discussion on your daughters self worth was entered into...?

Im all for open communication with your kids, but please ensure you keep it strictly business when it comes to your interest in her personal life.

Sheâ€™s the girlâ€™s parent, not a best friend or a sexual counsellor. I doubt she really wants to give her daughter tips on giving great blowjobs. Thatâ€™s what best friends are for.

There is nothing more creepy than a mother who knows the inâ€™s and outâ€™s of their childrens sex life. Its un-natural and inappropriate.

Actually, I donâ€™t think you could be more wrong â€” the girl is only 15 (as you rightly point out) and at such a young age, the mother should be aware of all the ins and outs so that if the girl ever has trouble broaching any particular subject in this area of her life, the mother can help with advice as she already has done.

The facts are that your daughter is underage.

Yes, and so is her boyfriend. By a whole year â€” goodness what a tragedy! This is probably why the daughter went to her mother in the first place, to be honest. And it proves just how mature she really is to be willing to accept responsibility for her own wellbeing.

Before you took her off to the chemist, have you recognised that she is mature enough to engage in a sexual relationship? Is she in love? Does the boyfriend love and respect your daughter?

Again, sheâ€™s mature enough to seek advice from a caring, careful parent. Whether she is in love or not is not your concern or your business. Obviously the mother was careful enough to assess whether it’s appropriate or not for her daughter to be having sex.

Is she aware of STDâ€™s and AIDS?

Sheâ€™s 15, not five. Donâ€™t insult her intelligence or the motherâ€™s.

I get that its inevitable that teenagers will experiment but at 15, Im hoping a discussion on your daughters self worth was entered into...?

The girlâ€™s sense of self-worth was proven to be entirely positive without a doubt when she went to her mother and had an open and frank discussion about her becoming sexually active with her boyfriend. She wanted to make sure her mother knew rather than lie about it. I think that says everything good about her self worth.

Whats the hurry anyway?

Itâ€™s a sad fact of life that kids are having sex younger these days. I often ask what the hurry is myself but itâ€™s a sign of the times. Having said that, I would rather my 15 year-old has the courage to come to me and the confidence in me as a parent to not hit the roof and calmly discuss what is a very natural part of growing up for teenagers.

Cameron replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:10pm)

Lexie what’s the main argument against a 15 year old having sex? Is it got something to do with the belief that at 15 we are not possibly in a mature enough mind frame to be having sexual relations?? Because this daughter acted in a way that was more mature than the age at which most people believe people should start having sex.

I’m sorry but can you also explain the link between sexual relations and low self worth??? Can we not raise our children to value both, or is it that an increase in one element always results in a lowering of the other?

The fact of this matter is that this couple is in a much better position to prevent catching an STD, having healthy relationships and respecting their bodies than other teenagers, who may start having sex later but are likely to be keeping it from their parents.

If i were the poster, I would be asking for an apology, look at all the steps they have taken and the open relationship she has with her daughter. But you accuse her of not having a ‘chat’ about self worth. If i were a parent, i would much prefer to be in this situation, than to have a child i was detached from, but at least a virgin.

blah blah blah (BFD) replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:25pm)

Meow!!!!!

Cat Fight ...lol

Lexie replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (12:43pm)

Em -

Sheâ€™s the girlâ€™s parent, not a best friend or a sexual counsellor. I doubt she really wants to give her daughter tips on giving great blowjobs. Thatâ€™s what best friends are for.

No Joke - That was my point. I know of women who think its their god given right to know the in’s and outs of their daughters life. Its none of their damn business. The job of a parent is to raise happy, well rounded, respectful, confident beings - arm them with the facts, but don’t get involved.. anyway, the child is 15

Actually, I donâ€™t think you could be more wrong â€” the girl is only 15 (as you rightly point out) and at such a young age, the mother should be aware of all the ins and outs so that if the girl ever has trouble broaching any particular subject in this area of her life, the mother can help with advice as she already has done.

See Last Response....

Yes, and so is her boyfriend. By a whole year â€” goodness what a tragedy! This is probably why the daughter went to her mother in the first place, to be honest. And it proves just how mature she really is to be willing to accept responsibility for her own wellbeing.

Whats with the sarcasm EM? Why are young girls in such a hurry to be sexually active? Settle Down...!

Sheâ€™s 15, not five. Donâ€™t insult her intelligence or the motherâ€™s.

Are you serious??? Just because you seem to know everything there is to know in the world, don’t assume that all 15 YEAR OLD’s do. DONT BE SO BLOODY NAIVE!!...

Itâ€™s a sad fact of life that kids are having sex younger these days. I often ask what the hurry is myself but itâ€™s a sign of the times. Having said that, I would rather my 15 year-old has the courage to come to me and the confidence in me as a parent to not hit the roof and calmly discuss what is a very natural part of growing up for teenagers.

Just because you think its a sad fact of life that kids are having sex younger these days it doesn’t mean that it has to be… SHE IS ONLY 15… F I F T E E N… Not 17, or 18!
Im not suggesting the mother should have ‘hit the roof’ but I believe a discussion on the haste to enter into a sexual relationship so young should have been had. For god’s sake, Childhood / Teenage years are fleeting..she has the rest of her adult life to enjoy a sexual relationship...As the girls mother she should be asking WHY the daughter feels the NEED to have sex at such a young age?

SNAP OUT OF IT!

Onsok replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:36pm)

Ouch! Thanks, Lexie for not being afraid to flaunt your ignorance.

It’s perfectly legal for a 15yo to have sex with another 15yo. Depending on which state, generally there can be no more than a difference of 2 years in age up to 18.

If she is old enough to get pregnant she is old enough to learn how to deal with it.

How does one determine love - is there a test at the chemist? Those kind of questions can’t be answered by parents, the young woman needs to learn how to decide that for herself.

You seem to imply that someone with “self worth” doesn’t need or want sex? All women are victims eh…

As to STI’s, that’s what the condoms are for - she has the same risk as many adults out there, (less I would think).

What’s the hurry anyway?

If you can’t understand that, you have no place replying.

greenie replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:47pm)

“What’s the hurry anyway”

Who are we kidding here? Sex is awesome!

Onsok replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:48pm)

Geez Lexie - you need to get laid…

MissDevious replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (01:54pm)

Just because you think its a sad fact of life that kids are having sex younger these days it doesn’t mean that it has to be… SHE IS ONLY 15… F I F T E E N… Not 17, or 18!
Im not suggesting the mother should have ‘hit the roof’ but I believe a discussion on the haste to enter into a sexual relationship so young should have been had. For god’s sake, Childhood / Teenage years are fleeting..she has the rest of her adult life to enjoy a sexual relationship...As the girls mother she should be asking WHY the daughter feels the NEED to have sex at such a young age?

SNAP OUT OF IT!

Best part of any response so far… Thanks Lexie

blah blah blah (BFD) replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (02:03pm)

Somebody run to the shops & buy some jelly as this cat fight is getting serious.

and WTF?? - :If she is old enough to get pregnant she is old enough to learn how to deal with it
Are you serious?? Where are you from? I heard a saying once, ‘old enough to bleed, old enough to breed’..YOU FOOL! Do you hear yourself....??

I remember being 15, and all my desperate to be like girlfriends were all having sex with their boyfriends after they stopped by the Fish and Chip shop to buy them their Chiko Roll. I was so not ready for all that then and so I waited until at 19 years old, I fell in love with my boyfriend and had an amazing first time. The inevitabilities of young love meant we broke up but then as a woman in my 20’s I was able to excitedly and actively pursue and enjoy the opposite sex - without the pressure or urge to do so just because ‘it was cool’ or ‘everyone else was doing it’…

You can accuse me of whatever you like, but the facts of the matter is she is a 15 year old child…

Heather replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (02:22pm)

There is nothing more creepy than a mother who knows the inâ€™s and outâ€™s of their childrens sex life. Its un-natural and inappropriate.

You’re kidding me, right?

I have a fair number of children; my eldest are boys aged 18 next week and 16. My 18 year-old started having sex at 14 and my 16 year old lost his viginity a few months ago (but is not sexually active and doesn’t wish to be--my eldest was in a “relationship” and now has a serious girlfriend who is also 18; my 16 yo was curious and the girl was the instigator).

I knew the moment they got home, because I know my boys. I’m unhappy at how young my oldest was--I think you miss out on something by not waiting a bit--I was 17--but because we have a good relationship we’d already discussed respecting girls, making sure you use contraception, etc.

Good lord, sex education is part of being a parent. Leaving it to the schools is the worst thing we can do. Good on the OP for being aware enough to make sure her daughter will keep talking to her about these things.

You wouldn’t want to only know the ins and outs when your child fathers/is 6 months pregnant, do you?

Deja Vu replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (02:37pm)

Lexie I agree with you. I can see the point you are trying to make here.
I think Em and Onsok have no idea what they are talking about.

Onsok - “If she is old enough to get pregnant she is old enough to learn how to deal with it”.
I don’t even know where to start with this comment!

I think it’s wise of the mum to help the young couple with contraception and that they feel comfortable talking to their parents about it. However, I agree that the mum should perhaps ask why her daughter feels the need to have sex with her boyfriend of only several months, at 15.

I think a few people have forgotten what High School is like and the peer pressure young women and men feel. Not to mention the gossip and rumours that occur at school. I think it’d be horrible to have feelings of regret at 15 if this was because of peer pressure etc. I honestly don’t think a 15 y/o is emotionally mature enough to have a sexual relationship. I think the parents should have addressed the issue of their need to have sex first, as they have only been dating for a few months.

Of course you can’t ban them from having sex, so at least you there is openess between you all.

Grace replied to Lexie
Mon 01 Sep 08 (08:34pm)

Oh so you would prefer your daughter to come to you several months pregnant than come to you and tell you she wants to have sex?
Because I know people thats happened to - they were too scared to discuss it with their parents and now my best friend has a beautiful baby boy, and yeah we are only 16.
but has it fucked up her life? No.
it just altered it slightly.
I guarantee any parents of teens posting replies here either have children having sex, and probably even a child who has thought they were pregnant.
you guys need to stop living in the middle ages, your wankers if you believe that sex at 15 is inappropriate. age does NOT define maturity.

Michael replied to Lexie
Tue 02 Sep 08 (03:15am)

Self worth? The girl is not a slut. She’s having sex with her boyfriend, not the football team.

Station409 replied to Lexie
Tue 02 Sep 08 (12:01pm)

Onsok, only two out of the Australian States allow this partnership legally without condition.

Two more allow for the “2 year” rule, but only if the person reasonably believes their partner is over the age of 16 at the time of the offence.

The rest, QLD, NSW etc have no such provision and it is illegal for any sexual activity between people under the age of 16.

There’s even a government research paper on this available on the internet people!

Wizard replied to Lexie
Sat 06 Dec 08 (12:04pm)

My eldest is 15 and yes I am sure he is a sexual being… judging by his more recent behaviour…
Frankly, Lexie is right on the money in my view.
There are plenty of young and immature posters going for it at anyone who suggests that they should wait, but it is the province of kids to want to be grown up before they are, and there are plenty of idiot parents who never learnt any personal self discipline and seem to want to live vicariously through their kids.
Quite right, Lexie, parents who want to know the ins and outs of their kids sex life are very creepy.
15 year olds are NOT repeat NOT mature enough (regardless of the foolishness of generations gone by that sold off child brides to old lechers etc) to have sex. They are old enough to perform the act, they are not old enough to live with the potential consequences and frankly there is no such thing as true SAFE sex. Why can’t a 15 year old be given the support to live a kids life still and learn to grow up steadily and not in the accelerated way the TV would have you believe is normal.
Yes, kids do experiment - when I was a kid it was with really dangerous stuff like gun powder and I was only thinking about the hut I built in the creek out of Asbestos!
My parents, where they saw the danger (like with the gun powder) were smart enough to get rid of it. Where they were unaware of the danger obviously, the contrary.
Fact is, OP, your daughter is playing with POTENTIAL, gunpowder here....
why should a 15 year be confronted with the consequences of sex because her parents lacked the discipline to teach her some restraint.

I applaud you. If you were to take the other parents advice and not discuss it or help out with contraception she could fall pregnant or worse.

Tell the other parents to butt out and go back to the middle ages. The best way for you to make them stay together is to take their advice and try to force them to break up.

Actually, in the Middle Ages most 15 year-old girls were already married (although contrary to popular opinion, sexual activity was usually delayed until the girl was shown to be physically mature enough).

It wasn’t until the Victorian era that poeple started to see “teenagers” as children rather than almost-adults who should be able to work and make their own decisions. And the word ‘teen” is a 1950s invention.

Still, I agree with you.

thats so great, the last thing teenagers need are parents who they cant come and speak to cause they think they’re going to get angry at them

i think you’ve made the best decision, at least you know if your daughter can come talk to you if she needs it… a lot of teenagers cant… well done

Totally agree with Bossy here. At first after only reading the headline I thought within a month there would be an update “My 15 year old daughter is pregnant”. But after reading the post I believe you have done all you can to make sure this doesn’t happen.

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