HEAVEN IS FOR REAL: A child has a near-death experience and thereafter talks about hanging with Jesus and visiting his dead relatives in heaven. Everybody listens to the child with wonder. Viewers are stunned to see how bad the visuals are in the great hereafter.

NOAH: Christians rejoiced at a year when Jesus, Noah and Moses would all get their own films. They did a spit-take, however, when they saw Russell Crowe, angrier-than-God as Noah, creating his Ark with the help of stone-covered Transformers. A bat-sh—crazy take on the Old Testament by Darren Aronofsky.

TRANSCENDANCE: In recent years, Johnny Depp has played a vampire, a pirate, a lizard and Tonto. Here, he was even more ridiculous as an artificial intelligence researcher who posthumously BECOMES the Internet. Dollar for dollar, the biggest bomb of the year. Wake me up when Depp decides to play someone real(ish).

AND SO IT GOES: Rob Reiner’s old-folks love story between Michael Douglas and Diane Keaton doesn’t sound like a bad idea. But the love story is lost to Douglas’s scene-chewing as a crotchety old womanizer and endless scenes of Keaton singing for the first time in her life onscreen. It’s like Reiner slept through filming.

A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES: Liam Neeson plays a cop who gets tired of killing people, so he becomes a private detective, who kills people. It’s not a Liam Neeson film these days unless he gets to threaten someone over the phone (“If you harm her, I’ll kill you!”)

ENDLESS LOVE: Does a reboot of an ‘80s hit movie EVER work in the 21st Century? In this loosely-based new version, Alex Pettyfer (Magic Mike) is the least convincing high school student ever, an aspiring car mechanic who’s not good enough for the daughter (Gabriella Wilde) of rich guy Bruce Greenwood. Frankly, if a daughter of mine brought him home, my response would be, “You fix cars? Welcome to the family, son!”

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Jim Carrey’s Dumber and Dumber To lived up to its title: Bruce Kirkland’s worst films of 2014

DUMB AND DUMBER TO: After 20 years, we should have known better. But fond memories of the 1994 original were dashed when Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels could not recapture the giddy, goofy delight of their first road adventure.

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT: With Kenneth Branagh as director and Chris Pine as the young CIA analyst Jack Ryan, we wanted and demanded more from this Tom Clancy reboot. But Pine is a bland super spy and the movie is super dull.

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST: Seth MacFarlane promised so much bad taste brilliance in the trailers. He delivered so little, with the situational comedy jokes so thinly spread out over the movie’s 116 minutes of boredom.

NOAH: Casting Russell Crowe might have been inspired but the sci-fi monster hokum that filmmaker Darren Aronofsky loaded onto the ark just sank this ship for me (even if did make $363 million worldwide on a $125 million budget).

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION: bombastic Hollywood filmmaker Michael Bay gets to laugh all the way from the bank to his seat of power in the movie biz. After all, his howler went past the $1 billion threshold in worldwide box office. But it is still a loud, obnoxious and senseless movie, even with Mark Wahlberg as the new human hero among the alien bots.