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The Cucumber King

Location: Cosmopolitan, Bungalow Suite and Wrap-Around Terrace Suite. I’ve always wanted to stay in a Bungalow suite, after reading about it on the web. Stayed in a Wrap-Around Terrace suite the first night, and then moved into the Bungalow for the weekend.

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Group: Mixed group of 4 guys, aged 35 to 45.

Special preparation for this trip: grocery shopping for…cucumbers!

There are two varieties of cucumbers commonly available in grocery stores in the US. English (a.k.a hot house cucumbers), and Garden cucumbers (standard cucumber). The English cucumbers are long, thin, with a dark green skin, and they are often sold wrapped in plastic.
The Garden cucumber is shorter, more blunt, with dark green skin and usually sold individually in bins.

Look for English cucumbers with a small rounded head, which gradually enlarges into a wider bulkier body.
The flesh should be firm, not soggy, as this could indicate rot.

Now, I know what you are thinking: why the hell is he talking about freakin’ cukes?!

Because there are many different uses for cucumbers, see next post…..

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09-11-2014, 04:31 PM

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Ahhhh, so many girls, so little time....

Can any golfers out there say "Foursome?"

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11-25-2014, 02:27 PM

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Link to girl who loved playing with her cucumber. Aug, 2014, Cosmopolitan. Warning: do not click on this link if naked female flesh or blonde hair offends you.

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11-25-2014, 02:33 PM

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Link to 3 girls who shared a common experience...each had already made whoopie with yours truly!

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From Aug, 2014, Bungalow Suite, Cosmopolitan. Warning: do not click on this link if the sight of three intertwined females offends you.

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More details on Food, Gambling, Bungalow Suite and Odds and Ends to follow

09-11-2014, 04:40 PM

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Old TR: Cosmopolitan 8/8-8/11/2014. Warning: Cucumber porn!

Food and Drink: STK for dinner: I just love the vibe of this place. The ambiance is hip, modern, cool, they played modern versions of familiar 80’s music (Michael Jackson, Journey, Madonna, Cher) during dinner, and it was not too loud when we ate at 7pm. Started with drinks at the bar, a couple of friendly cute tattooed bartenders dressed in black took care of us. One of the bartenders had the same name as one of the girls, so this was an opening to flirt with the bartender. (Note: only in Vegas can you openly flirt with the bartender, with your date right next to you, and get away with it!) Seated in a booth (5 girls and 4 guys). I had a dozen Kunamoto oysters, the macaroni sampler, and the skirt steak medium rare, which was very flavorful and had a great tender but chewy texture.
One girl in the group had a very loose top, and her nipples kept showing every time she moved.
Had one girl rubbing my right thigh, and another rubbing my left thigh, and giving me pecks on the cheeks between bites….so life was VERY GOOD! After dessert arrived, a couple of the girls wanted to dance on the table. We asked the waiter (Note: only in Vegas would you even consider asking about this!), but he said we had to wait until 10pm, so no table dancing that night.

Wicked Spoon for brunch: Always love this place. Wide open spaces, great selection of food, great eye candy.
(Note: only in Vegas can you see girls in bikini’s getting brunch).
The best part is cutting to the head of the long line with my Platinum card status. I’ve always wanted to pull a group of cute girls out of the end of the line, if they would join us for brunch. Oh well, maybe on another trip.

Milos: Delicious meal but WAY overpriced for dinner ($290 for a 2.5 lb fish?! Are you kidding me? And I’m sure that fish didn’t even swallow…..).
Good thing the meals would being comped.

Jaleo’s for lunch: Good lunch menu, had a nice fresh salad.

China Pablano for dinner: I always eat here at least once per trip. Had the 20 Vegetable Fried rice with the cute little radishes and carrots etc.
The Sea Foam Margarita is awesome.

Chandelier Bar: here is a picture of the famous Verbena “Flower” drink. If you haven’t tried it yet, I won’t spoil the surprise. (Standing Offer: any VMBer who I meet in Vegas, if you haven’t tried the Verbena, I will buy you one.)

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09-11-2014, 04:42 PM

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Old TR: Cosmopolitan 8/8-8/11/2014. Warning: Cucumber porn!

Gambling:
Baccarat: Went with my standard negative progression, and before starting play at 4AM in the morning, I decided to bet on Player starting at $200, until I hit a Banker streak of 5 runs. Thus I bet $200, 400, 800, 1600, 3200 on Player, so I lose $6,200 on a Banker streak of 5 in a row. Usually, I will make these “strategy” decisions before starting to play, but then I break them once I start to lose and out goes the so-called gambling discipline that I pride myself on having. BUT NOT THIS DAY!!!!!
I didn’t hit a run of 5 Banker wins in a row for 5 whole shoes! Each shoe made me about $7000 to $8000, until I lost the $6,200 at the EXACT end of the 5th shoe. Made $32K!!!! Stayed there for 4 hours, until 8AM. Should have been asleep by 5:30AM, but I’ve learned to never, ever quit on a winning streak.
Didn’t play Baccarat the rest of the trip, because I was afraid the luck would even out. (Haha, and I said I wasn't superstitious!)

Craps: This time, it seemed like I couldn’t make a wrong bet. When I was betting Pass line, with the Iron Cross, and the All Small and All Tall and All bet hit.
I wasn’t on it, because I hadn’t learned about it until this past month reading the VMB board. But I made a ton of money, $175 to $350 per roll. Then, after the guy sevened out, I tried the Pass line one more time, but another 7-out happened.
So I switched to the Don’t Pass, betting $200 with max odds, and another 6 Don’t Passes in a row came out, before a point was made. Decided to quit then, up about $14K! The rest of the trip, I treaded water in craps, down $5K, up $5K, etc.

Roulette:
Playing single zero roulette, with half-back on the even money outside bets, decreases the casino edge to only -1.35%,
which is on par with betting Player on Baccarat (-1.4%) and placing 6 and 8 (-1.52%).
However, I ended up losing $12K between 2 or 3 sessions at roulette.

Overall, up $34K for the trip!!!! YES!!!!

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09-11-2014, 04:49 PM

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Old TR: Cosmopolitan 8/8-8/11/2014. Warning: Cucumber porn.

The Bungalow Suite itself I love the Bungalow suite. As I have written about it in other Threads, it is not for everyone. It is loud, with Day and Night Club music most of the day, the only quiet time is 5am to 10am, and 6pm to 10pm or so. There is only one bedroom, although the downstairs can sleep several people. There are two bathrooms. And there is butler service, to fetch what ever you need (at a price).

The third floor has a balcony area on one side, with a view of the Strip. The other side has a jacuzzi, with a view of the Marquee pool.

But as a party suite, for the right group of people, there is nothing better. The outside opens up to the Marquee Dayclub and Nightclub, so you can just go in and out as many times as you want. And if you need to use the bathroom, just use your own in the suite. People who come into the suite from the club think you are a rock star or something. Because they had to pay $2,000 to $15,000 for a regular cabana or an infinity pool cabana, depending on the "artist" DJ. (Yes, those prices are accurate, I asked).

Really really cool.

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09-11-2014, 05:07 PM

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Old TR: Cosmopolitan 8/8-8/11/2014. Warning: Cucumber porn.

Odds and Ends:

1) I was up so much in winnings, I decided to get bottle service at Marquee one of the nights. They had a guy and a girl outside in the pool area getting body painted, as an exhibition. I learned that girls usually have pasties on when they are body painted. She was kind of flat, would have liked to have seen a busty girl getting painted. I love the energy of the nightclub scene, but there are so many “poseurs",
who just want to show up and "take a selfie". I love watching them stare as I walk by with my hot "entourage".

2) Drinks for a party: I just go with Vodka with mixers, some tequila, Red Bull. Young people these days just love Vodka and Redbull (sugar free, of course, for the ladies). As for the type of vodka, this is a huge scam. If you are mixing vodka, I guarantee you will NOT be able to tell the difference between any brands of vodka. If we meet in Vegas, I will bet you whatever you want, and we can do the taste test.

3) Met a young couple, invited them to party with us in the Bungalow suite. He was carrying a man-bag, ala Alan from the Hangover, so he might have been gay (not an issue with me),
but his "girlfriend" was drinking a lot and she starts feeling up on my friend while they were in the 3rd floor jacuzzi. Right in front of him! He didn't bat an eyelash!

4) Invited a couple of bachelorette parties into the suite, and another buddy did get lucky in the jacuzzi,
doing it right there in the middle of the party! I never went back into the jacuzzi again, LOL!

5) FINALLY, the funniest thing about the trip. We gave the, ahem, "veteran" cucumber to one of the batchelorettes,
who was asking why we had a cucumber next to the Tequila. We just said, well, you know, a cucumber has many uses.... She posed with it near her mouth, and she put it in her purse and took it with her! Dang, I wish I had a copy of that picture to show you. (What happened to that cucumber? Did she use it herself? Did she eat it?)

Cracks me up right now, just thinking about it!

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09-13-2014, 08:04 PM

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I had a funny scene in the Bungalow with these 3 girls from a bachelorette party, all talking at once asking me "So who ARE you? What do you do? How much do you make? You got a ring?"
and just repeating themselves and talking over each other like little birds chirping. I told them I was "a gambler, you know like the song", and started to sing, while they kept talking: "You've got to know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em, know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money, when you're sitting at the table, there'll be time enough for countin'...when the dealin's done."

And they just kept yapping, talking over each other while I was singing, and trying to get my attention. But you could tell that all they were thinking was "$$$$...how do I get me some?"

Unfortunately, none of them were not very cute....

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The Degeneral

Gambling: Baccarat: Went with my standard negative progression, and before starting play at 4AM in the morning, I decided to bet on Player starting at $200, until I hit a Banker streak of 5 runs. Thus I bet $200, 400, 800, 1600, 3200 on Player, so I lose $6,200 on a Banker streak of 5 in a row. Usually, I will make these “strategy” decisions before starting to play, but then I break them once I start to lose and out goes the so-called gambling discipline that I pride myself on having. BUT NOT THIS DAY!!!!!
I didn’t hit a run of 5 Banker wins in a row for 5 whole shoes! Each shoe made me about $7000 to $8000, until I lost the $6,200 at the EXACT end of the 5th shoe. Made $32K!!!! Stayed there for 4 hours, until 8AM. Should have been asleep by 5:30AM, but I’ve learned to never, ever quit on a winning streak.
Didn’t play Baccarat the rest of the trip, because I was afraid the luck would even out. (Haha, and I said I wasn't superstitious!)

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So reading this TR Friday morning inspired me to try this strategy. Instead of a $200 unit, I tried $50 with a $1600 bullet to try and fend off the 5 banker streak.

My gambling buddy suggests new table that was waiting for shuffle. So new shuffle and i buy in while my buddy gets ready to track on paper. Went like this... B-P-B-B-P-B-B-B-B-T-B... Fuck!

Well I did bring a second bullet in fear of this happening. I decide to ride this shoe out because player is due right.. Another $1600 plus my left-over $100 has me back to my $50 unit. Shoe picks back up right where it left off. B-B-B-B WTF! Can it be 10 in a row? P gives me hope again. Ok only 9 in a row, now i have hopes of getting my money back on rest of shoe. B-B-P-B-B-B-P-B-B-B-B-B... FU PT...

Had like $300 left and stormed off table. At least I didn't have to pay commission lol. Got drunk and pissed away some more on other games. Fun times....

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Elitist & Least Tits

So reading this TR Friday morning inspired me to try this strategy. Instead of a $200 unit, I tried $50 with a $1600 bullet to try and fend off the 5 banker streak.

My gambling buddy suggests new table that was waiting for shuffle. So new shuffle and i buy in while my buddy gets ready to track on paper. Went like this... B-P-B-B-P-B-B-B-B-T-B... Fuck!

Well I did bring a second bullet in fear of this happening. I decide to ride this shoe out because player is due right.. Another $1600 plus my left-over $100 has me back to my $50 unit. Shoe picks back up right where it left off. B-B-B-B WTF! Can it be 10 in a row? P gives me hope again. Ok only 9 in a row, now i have hopes of getting my money back on rest of shoe. B-B-P-B-B-B-P-B-B-B-B-B... FU PT...

Had like $300 left and stormed off table. At least I didn't have to pay commission lol. Got drunk and pissed away some more on other games. Fun times....