How To Tell Who Your Good Friends Are

The word ‘friend’ is something we use very loosely these days. We call random strangers friends. I am guilty of this too. I think the way we use this word has impacted badly on how the younger ones define friendship too. You can meet people online and develop good friendship. However this doesn’t happen as often as we paint it to be. For example, I call you all friends here. But the truth is that you guys don’t know me really.

Online we only share the side of us we want others to see. This is the truth. If you see me outside today, you will walk pass me because you don’t know me. Yes we share our struggles on here but truly I can’t say that people here have helped me through rough times as much as certain people in my life have. And this is ok. I am good with this. I am just sharing to paint a good picture of what I am trying to say. Don’t loose focus of the true friends in your life just because you are caught up in building a kind of friendship that is not real.

So how do we know who our true friends are?

We know our real friends in our high moments. A true friend is the one who is genuinely excited about your wins. The one who does not throw salt on your high moments. The one who does not steal you moments and make it about him/her. The one who is happy about the big doors opening for you. Not many people are like this. A friend who is always dull and moody whenever others are celebrating you isn’t a good friend.

We know our real friends in our low moments. I think this point is something we all know. A friend who never shows up for you, a friend who is forever busy and is too selfish to come see you when you are hurting, in my opinion is not a friend. Of course distance is a determining factor with this one but if you live in a relatively close distance and that same friend is always the one who says ‘you know I love but I’m really sorry, I can’t be there blah blah’ every time? nope! A true friend is one who is willing to cancel certain things just so he/she can be there with you. Sometimes a phone call is just not enough.

In addition to this, the ultimate litmus test is to test their reaction when someone is tearing you down before them in your absence. There reaction in this case reveals who they truly are.

25 thoughts on “How To Tell Who Your Good Friends Are”

When I received the notification in my email, I had to log in so quick. This topic is something that people neglect. I believe that this generation has lost a sense and value of what friendship really is. These days it’s all about “What can you do for me?” For me, my area of struggle when it comes to my friendships is not understanding when you reach out to your friends and they never get back to you but they call you when they are going through things. They will ask if I can pray for them and etc, which is not a problem but friendship is a two way street. People make so many excuses of how busy they are and neglect their friends. They don’t pick your call or respond to text but you see them on social media. You address the issue but the habit continues for a long time. Something that I have learned throughout the journey when it comes to friendship is that everyone you meet is for a purpose whether for a season or lifetime. Your friendship circle is going to change. God will remove certain people out of your life. They may not necessarily be bad friends but they aren’t tied to your destiny. God will bring the right people along. When people reveal their character, inasmuch as we don’t want to believe it, accept it but pray for them. I’ve also learned that I can’t maintain friendships with people who don’t want to maintain friendship with me. It is much better to focus on the ones who genuinely care for your wellbeing and vice versa.

You started preaching from “your friendship circle is going to change” to the end of your comment! I agree indeed! Inasmuch as it’s hard because we are emotionally connected to people, I believe we need to let certain people leave our lives. Like you said, friendship is a two way street. Friends shouldn’t be pests who only know how to take but never gives back.

Another thing again, from personal experience, I have realised that sometimes God brings me to a similar place so I can have more time for Him.

I will say pray and not be alert. Don’t be afraid to let certain people who are not meant to be in your life go. It isn’t a sin to do this. That void needs to be created for true friends to come in and fill. Blessings to you!🙂

Yes!😊.. I have to vent sometimes to keep my sanity haha! And ooops.. just realised a typo in my initial response. I meant pray and stay alert. I would like to assume you read it this way😁. God bless you too Queen!😊

Yes! I agree so much with this post. The word “friend” has lost its value. It’s so frustrating when I talk to kids and teens and they mention a “best friend” I’ve NEVER heard of before. They also don’t know the last name of the “best friend” and feel they’re a “bestie” because they’ve known them since 3rd grade. -_- Really?
In adulthood I feel like it’s harder to meet and find true friends. Building the tribe is SO important.

Yes Sis! I always say to people that I can’t call you bestie if nothing has tested our friendship. We might be besties now because we live in the same city, work in the same place, go to school together, go to same church etc. But until this is tested by time, distance and life challenges, that friendship isn’t yet defined. I agree it’s difficult to find true friends in adulthood. And yes to having a tribe. The tribe might not be many but 1 reliable friend is way better than 10 unreliable ones.

Again my sister you have talked about something I’ve been planning to blog. I want to talk about how easy it is for the blogging community to do what people do in a church building setting. We get comfortable and do not take it outside. God has put it on my heart to try to connect to bloggers outside of WordPress. Most times it did not work, as it would in real life, but one friendship has really blossomed and we now do weekly Bible study every Wednesday on Skype. We talk to each other almost every single day. It has been such a blessing because my own friends have busy lives, moved away and I still have no friends where I live. I’m ok with it, this took time but I am content. God revealed to me I was not specifically praying for a friend. So I started and about a month and a half from praying we had our first Skype chat and God was in everything. ❤ ❤ We need to grow with people. Encourage each other. Not stay settled. Powerful post!

Thank God you found this kind of friendship but to be honest this isn’t a norm. I know there are exemptions to this just like in your case but internet cannot replace the kind of friendship I talked about. I have someone I met on social media who I talk to as well although not often. I think on a more practical level, as a mum for example, I won’t be calling on internet friends to help me babysit when an emergency occurs. So for me forming a good relationship with those who I see God has placed around me is very important. Of course we should have good relationship with our online community too.
I love how you said you prayed for to have good friends. I think sometimes we skip prayers because we don’t think God is interested in this area of our lives. He truly wants us to enjoy true friendships and if we ask Him, He will give us just like He did for you.
You are blessed for finding an extraordinary kind of friend❤️

Yes, I agree! So important we do have friends we can call on to physically to hang out with. None of mine are nearby anymore and I’m thankful He has provided this way for me. You are right, this certainly is not the norm, all the more glory for God 🙂 I’m so glad you have people surrounding you that you can go too. ❤

I agree Jesus Christ is our true best friend. However we also need human beings. Jesus Christ will not come help me babysit or pick kids from school in case of emergency. Jesus Christ had Peter, James and John who were his closest pals. If all we needed was Jesus Christ, then there won’t be any need for us to come to earth as staying in heaven will do just that. However He knows we need companionship and relationships with other humans too. We need friends in human forms to go far in life too. Blessings to you my sis!😊