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Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Once upon a time there was a young girl who met a boy with a man bun. He was charming and had a pretty smile and said all the right things. The young girl thought "wow, he's smart and funny and cute and I've never dated anyone with a man bun before." The girl and the boy began seeing one another but the boy was not ready to commit to the word "dating". Tragically, 4 years before, he had 'issues' with an ex-girlfriend and was ever-afraid to use that term again. So he never did. Ya know, because 'dating' is such a terrifying term.

They saw one another and enjoyed one another's company, but there was no real term for their situation. And one day, the boy with the bun decided 'it's not you, it's me.' And he dumped the girl. Really, it wasn't her, it was him. And his man bun.

Lo and behold, not long after the dumping, there was another girl in the boy with the man bun's life. "Wow, that didn't take long" thought the original girl. She moved past the boy with the man bun but it still stung because she had no idea why she was dumped. Cold feet? Did she pressure him? Was his bun too tight? She'd never know.

One fine evening, both girls found themselves at the same place and in the same room. Never one to shy away from a good conversation, the original girl approached the new girl in the boy with the man bun's life and said "Hey are you dating 'man bun'?"

"Well, I WAS, but not anymore" she replied. Turns out she, too, had been jilted by the boy with the man bun. And she, too, was given no good reason. Here's the thing: they say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Well, what's more powerful than one woman scorned? How about two women scorned by the same boy with the same man bun?

The two jilted girls became fast friends.The shared stories and relished in their similarities. Sometimes good really can come from a bad situation, and the two girls formed an alliance. This alliance made the boy with the man bun very nervous. His friend (he who has no man bun) has approached the two girls numerous times, no doubt on an information gathering mission for the boy with the man bun. But the girls did their very best impression of the penguins of Madagascar. They 'just smiled and waved'.

They say that everything happens for a reason. It's possible that both of these beautiful young women were dumped by the boy with the man bun so that they would bond together and become life long friends. Stranger things have happened. But I believe the real lesson here is, if you are an impressionable young woman and are approached by a boy with a man bun, ask him how he feels about the word "dating". If he turns and runs away, and all you see is his man bun bouncing behind him, turn and run the other way. You're too good for him.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

I’ve got a secret to share with you. For a while, I thought I was a terrible mother.

It’s true. I want you to know that I was honest when I said I would miss my daughter when she went off to college. I truly do miss her. It was out-and-out heart-break when we dropped her off. That wasn’t a lie. Nor was it a lie when I said life would change dramatically when she was away and we were left behind. But that dramatic change? I’m not going to lie, a partially empty nest hasn’t been all that bad. You can read more about the adjustment over at Grown and Flown where I've got a guest post!