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Thursday June 14, 2012 6:43 AM

Dear Abby: My boyfriend, “Wally,” and I have been friends for several years and a couple for
almost two. We recently agreed that we are likely altar-bound.

A few months ago, Wally got plastered and had a fling with a female friend. He regretted it and
said it made him realize I am “the one.” (He is getting help for his drinking now.)

The problem is, the woman is still pursuing him. She buys him gifts or takes him meals. He has
asked her to stop.

I have asked Wally to cut off contact with her, but he feels bad for her. What do you
suggest?

— Unwilling to Share

Dear Unwilling: Tell Wally his continued contact with the woman he cheated with is hurtful and a
threat to your relationship. Ask how he would feel if you continued to see and accept gifts from a
man you’d had a drunken fling with. If he says he wouldn’t be thrilled, perhaps he’ll understand
your reaction. If he says he’d be fine with it, then Wally isn’t your man.

Dear Abby: My 13-year-old niece, “Amelia,” is a beautiful girl. Her only two flaws: She lies
constantly and she’s boy-crazy. My sister and brother-in-law have set many rules and limits. I
think the punishments have fit the crimes — grounding, having things taken away.

Amelia knows she can’t have a boyfriend until she’s 16, yet she keeps trying to get boys’ phone
numbers and meet with them. She has been caught “sexting” and lying about it. This time, my sister
and her husband shaved Amelia’s head. I am shocked and devastated for my niece. I think it was
extremely inappropriate.

My sister said she had no choice because her daughter had so many warnings. I think my niece
will need counseling. My sister says I am overreacting. Am I? Or did she?

— Worried Aunt in Utah

Dear Worried: Amelia’s parents went off the deep end. What was done to her was awful. Instead of
shaving their daughter’s head, they should have tried to understand why she is lying and seeking
attention from boys.

If a family ever needed therapy, it is your sister’s. Love, attention and less draconian
punishments are what Amelia needs, not months of public shaming.

Dear Abby: My husband committed suicide 20 years ago. I never shared the note he left with our
young children at the time. They are happy, successful adults now. Should I share it?

— Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: Let them know it exists, share it with them if they ask and answer any
questions. They have a right to know.