Motherhood Made Simplehttps://motherhood-made-simple.com
Empowering Mothers to Live Their Best Life Every DaySat, 03 Nov 2018 16:00:04 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.8https://i0.wp.com/motherhood-made-simple.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/cropped-Site-Icon2.png?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1Motherhood Made Simplehttps://motherhood-made-simple.com
3232135026280Chores for Preschoolershttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/chores-for-preschoolers/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/chores-for-preschoolers/#commentsFri, 02 Nov 2018 12:34:05 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=962I know many mothers who simply pick up after their kids and don’t hold them responsible for their things simply because they think they are too young to do chores. NOT TRUE! You can start teaching children responsibility as early as around eighteen months, when they start learning how to follow simple directions. My daughter […]

]]>I know many mothers who simply pick up after their kids and don’t hold them responsible for their things simply because they think they are too young to do chores. NOT TRUE! You can start teaching children responsibility as early as around eighteen months, when they start learning how to follow simple directions. My daughter is fifteen months and already does a great job helping her brother put toys in the toy box.

Chores for Preschoolers

I remember about four years ago, uncomfortably pregnant with my son Roman, picking green beans from the garden. Bending over to pick each bean left me breathless as the baby in my belly encroached on my lungs. And I daydreamed about how wonderful it would be to, years later, have my little children help me in the garden. Now, my son is three and loves to help in the garden!

Kids are smart and young children, especially, are highly motivated by praise and rewards. They love to help. My son says, “I love to be your good helper, Mommy!” And he really does. He helps me with everything – dishes, laundry, cooking, and cleaning. There is usually some small way to involve him in what I am doing, no matter the task. My hope is that, in teaching him the feeling of satisfaction that comes with completing a chore, I am grooming him to have a strong work ethic and be self motivated to do his chores in our home, and in his own home one day.

My Preschooler’s Everyday Chores

He picks up his toys.

He puts his dirty clothes into the hamper.

He puts his dirty dishes in the sink.

His responsibilities are simple. They are easy to remember and easy to do. Preschoolers have short attention spans, so I will not get anywhere by asking him to complete time consuming tasks. If he plays with is full set of blocks, I help he and his sister pick them up, because I don’t want him to be discouraged by the time it takes to pick them up.

Roman helping us pick kohlrabi from the garden.

Ways My Preschooler Helps with My Chores

Setting the Table

On the days we have a more formal dinner at our dining table (rather than the kitchen island), my son is able to help me set the table. I take the stack of plates out onto the table, and Roman places eat plate at its respective seat. He also gives everyone a napkin.

Doing Laundry

Roman loves to help me put the laundry in the washer, and move it from the washer to the dryer. He also helps put his own clothes away in his drawers.

Gardening

While it requires close supervision, gardening is one of my favorite activities to do with my preschooler. He helps me plant the seeds and starter plants in the spring. He even picks out his own annual flowers to pot for our front steps each year. In the summer months, he waters his flowers and helps me pick summer vegetables like squash and tomatoes. Come fall, he is an expert sweet pepper picker. Gardening is a great way for kids to see the fruits of their hard work; what’s more motivating than that?!

I will warn you against having your kiddos help you weed the garden. They might just pull all your veggies out of the ground!

Cleaning

Dusting, wiping, and tidying are all things that a preschooler can do. While I won’t be allowing my son to help me bleach the toilet bowl, he IS able to wipe down the mirror, dust the bookshelf in his room, or wipe down the kitchen island. He also LOVES to Swiffer mop the floors.

Caring for Pets

Under supervision, my preschooler can feed his dog and let her out. When we go on family walks, he enjoys holding her leash.

Roman and I planting carrot seed this May.

What Children Learn From Chores

A little hard work never hurt anybody. Quite the opposite – giving your children the responsibility of chores will develop a stronger character in them. Chores teach concepts like delayed gratification, working as a team, and discipline. For my own children, the chore of picking up their toys serves as a way to teach the consequences of their actions. If you take out all the toys in the toy box, you will have to then put away all the toys back into the toy box.

Chores also develop self esteem within children. They see themselves as accomplishing goals and contributing to the household. Depending on the chore, they also have the opportunity to refine fine motor skills in activities like folding socks.

And then there are the benefits to you, the parent! It might be easier and faster to just put the toys and the tee shirts away yourself, but it will not help your child. Instilling that work ethic in them now will allow them to benefit, and later on, you will benefit too as your children are able to be more self sufficient and even take part in the household duties!

How to Start Chore in Your House

Start with small, age appropriate chores. Keep in mind your child’s attention span, motor skills, and ability to follow directions. Attach some sort of positive reinforcement to the completion of each chore, and make it specific to each child. For older children, an allowance might be appropriate, whereas in a young child, a sticker may suffice.

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]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/chores-for-preschoolers/feed/4962How to Find Balance as a Stay At Home Momhttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/balance/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/balance/#commentsThu, 01 Nov 2018 19:37:09 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=973Let’s talk about balance. More specifically, let’s talk about how the heck to find balance when you are a stay at home mom. For me, this has been one of the most challenging quests in my journey through motherhood. My oldest is three years old, and I am still not yet in a place of totally balance. […]

]]>Let’s talk about balance. More specifically, let’s talk about how the heck to find balance when you are a stay at home mom. For me, this has been one of the most challenging quests in my journey through motherhood. My oldest is three years old, and I am still not yet in a place of totally balance. Honestly, I am not sure that state can be achieved when you have little children, but every day I feel like I have just a little better handle on how to best juggle all of the many hats I wear.

How to Find Balance as a Stay at Home Mom

When I first wake up in the morning, I let out and feed the dog, then I make my husband his morning coffee, and set it by his keys and wallet. I make my kiddos breakfast, help my son brush his teeth, change my daughter’s diaper. Then dishes and laundry. Bank, grocery store, library. We have lunch and read books, clean up toys and take naps. The house needs to be cleaned. The laundry needs to be folded. Oh, and what are we having for dinner?

On top of all the daily tasks, maintaining a household, and keeping up with those kids, are all of the expectations of a stay at home mom. When you are a stay at home mom, your home is expected to be pristine. The meals you prepare, the activities your kids do, your own personal fitness, are all expected to be above average because you have the time. THE PRESSURE IS RIDICULOUS!

Meanwhile, you know the truth. Maybe you didn’t before you started your SAHM gig, but you know it now. The truth is that kids do not allow you time or space to do ANYTHING from start to finish. They don’t adhere to a schedule, at least not all the time. You will want to escape them. You will worry you aren’t giving them enough of you. You will long for the days when you worked with adults all day, and then you will cry because time is going too fast and your babies are growing up.

If you are like me, you might start to feel crushed by the weight of the expectations and the high standards. Being at home all day and yet having no time to do anything. Everything is out of control. You definitely don’t feel BALANCED at all.

Where Do You Start?

First and foremost, have some grace with yourself, Mama. You do so much. The most important job you have is to love your babies well. It’s okay if you are a hot mess express. It’s okay if you’re late. It’s okay if you cry sometimes. It’s okay if your kids had scrambled eggs for dinner a few nights in a row. We all stumble; your kids will forgive you. You need to forgive you too.

Don’t overload your plate.

Learn to say no to anything that doesn’t feel important or causes you stress.

Shorten your To Do List.

What works for me is just trying to accomplish three tasks a day. I decide on three tasks I would like to accomplish when I am planning out my day the night before. I estimate how long they will take me and I schedule myself a time to tackle the task. Some of these tasks might be to schedule a doctor’s appointment or put away the laundry. I try not to take on too big of a task – I save those for when I have help with the kiddos.

Plan.

Plan everything. Planning has saved me anxiety, money, and time. It has taken me a while to realize how much this would help me. I plan meals and snacks. I visit the library weekly and get a new book for each day of the week. I plan a few activities for the kids and myself. I (roughly) plan what I hope to accomplish that week and each day. I schedule my days around my kids’ schedule.

Focus on what’s important.

You are a stay at home mom. You aren’t a stay at home housekeeper, or a stay at home secretaryor stay at home chef. Your primary job is a sacred one – care for your children. It’s okay if some things don’t get done today. Your kids won’t notice dirty dishes in the sink or if you didn’t do your hair.

Remember to take care of yourself.

Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you have. Take time to do what makes you happy. In your very core. The things that set your soul on fire. Do those things, often and regularly. It is good for your family to see you prioritize yourself. And care for yourself in the most basic ways too, the ways we often forget to do. Exercise, eat a healthy diet, get a haircut when you need to.

Find your tribe. Hang with your tribe.

You can’t do it alone. You shouldn’t have to. Reach out to friends and family. The real ones. The ones you can call at 3:00 A.M.. The ones to whose home you can bring your children without anxiety. The ones who get it and get you and make you feel at home. Seek these people out regularly. Make it a priority. Their support is priceless. In my own world, this looks like the women in my MOPS group, a few close friends, and family. It’s a small circle, but it’s a high quality one.

Balance is an Idea

Maybe there is a mom out there who has little ones in her home all day long, whose home is always perfectly neat and tidy, who never feels out of control, who does her hair every day, fixes only well-balanced meals, and still has time for herself. I haven’t met any. I have come to believe that balance is an idea, and because we are human, we will never totally achieve it, and that is okay. But moments of peace, snippets of joy to hold on to, a break from anxiety and overwhelm – that’s what balance looks like to me. And that is enough today.

<Feedback Please!>

Leave me a comment and share your personal tips for staying balanced!

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]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/balance/feed/1973“It’s A Season”https://motherhood-made-simple.com/its-a-season/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/its-a-season/#commentsThu, 25 Oct 2018 20:37:02 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=960To the mom who feels burnt out (and to myself when I need a reminder), I see you. I see you struggling. I see you up to your eyeballs in to do lists and expectations. You are tired. Empty. You go through the motions of your day, waiting for someone to tap you out and […]

]]>To the mom who feels burnt out (and to myself when I need a reminder),

I see you. I see you struggling. I see you up to your eyeballs in to do lists and expectations. You are tired. Empty. You go through the motions of your day, waiting for someone to tap you out and give you a much needed, and deserved, break. You haven’t slept a full night in years. Your home is in constant disarray and it gives you anxiety. You look back longingly at the days when you felt like another person. A woman with interests and hobbies, a woman who was more comfortable in her skin, who was even sexy sometimes.

“It’s A Season”

A mom friend of mine gave me this mantra, “It’s a season,” to help get us through the nitty, gritty, spit-up soaked days of motherhood. I repeat this to myself all day, every day. “It’s a season,” means that the bad will pass. One day, I will sleep again. I will poop unaccompanied. Maybe I’ll have a fulfilling career. I’ll be able to go out with a friend with less anxiety. Hell, maybe sex won’t feel like another thing on the to do list. One day, I will wake up and my sweet little babies who never leave me alone will be big enough to get their own breakfast on Saturday morning.

But, “It’s a season,” also applies to all the good things. Sometimes I get so caught up in that feeling of anxiety and overwhelm, that I forget how insanely precious every day with my babies is. My son is three. His mind is a magical place of imagination. Having conversations with him is my favorite thing to do, and he LOVES me. He loves to snuggle and sing lullabies with me. One day he won’t do those things anymore.

My daughter is a year and half. She is the perfect snuggle size. She just learned how to say, “Mommy!” instead of, “Mama,” and it’s the cutest darn thing I ever heard. She learns something new every day. She has the best voice and the best laugh. And my kids love each other in the purest, most heartbreakingly beautiful way. And this innocent time of their lives won’t last.

The Struggle Is Real

Motherhood is so multifaceted. As moms, we wear so many hats. We are nurses, cooks, housekeepers, tutors, counselors, gladiators, accountants, managers, taxi drivers, and entertainers. Our families can sometimes pull us in so many directions that it becomes overwhelming. Motherhood has the potential to be a lonely vocation. You are a fucking superhero. And no one is giving you a cape or a parade.

Yes, we all go through these struggles. But they look a little different in every family. Why don’t we talk about it? Why don’t we cry for help? We slap a smile on our face, and when people ask how we are doing, we lie. We say we have never been happier, being mothers gives us such joy and purpose. And maybe this is true.

But maybe, we are also dying a little. We gave up our sense of identity and slipped into this mother skin that feels a little suffocating sometimes. Yes, sleeping with a tiny baby in your arms is impossibly sweet, but so is sprawling out in your king size bed and sleeping til 10 on a Saturday. While I relish the pride that comes when my son sings his ABCs or my daughter learns a new word, I miss having intellectual conversations with friends. I have noticed that I say, “Um,” more often than I ever did before. I attribute this development to my lack of adult conversation for sometimes days at a time.

Let Shit Go, Girl

One day my home will be clean again. It will be quiet. I will be able to decorate my home with fragile things. I will have your own life again one day. And on that day, I am positive that I will long for this day. Last night, both my babies slept in my bed. My son took up the majority of the bed, and my daughter slept with her feet tucked into my throat. I am tired and grumpy and haven’t had a second of peace all day. But my life is full of love. It’s full of these sweet, perfect little people, gifts from God handpicked for me, who show me what real love is every single day.

So I try to let it go when the dishes don’t get done, or company arrives for dinner and grocery bags are still littering the counter. My life is full of love. The rest is small, stupid stuff that won’t matter tomorrow. Some days it is easier said than done. Some days I just want five extra minutes in the shower to shave my legs. But, on all of the days, I try to take a few minutes before I go to sleep, to reflect on how incredibly blessed I am. If I have nothing else but these sweet smiles, I have a pretty amazing life.

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]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/its-a-season/feed/9960Rockstar Mom – Celestehttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/rockstar-mom-celeste/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/rockstar-mom-celeste/#respondWed, 24 Oct 2018 02:45:36 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=951Motherhood Made Simple exists to empower mothers. Our goal is that, no matter what motherhood looks like to you, you find something here that resonates with you, that reaches you when you need a friend, that speaks to you. The Rockstar Mom does not have a set definition. She is a working mom, a stay […]

]]>Motherhood Made Simple exists to empower mothers. Our goal is that, no matter what motherhood looks like to you, you find something here that resonates with you, that reaches you when you need a friend, that speaks to you. The Rockstar Mom does not have a set definition. She is a working mom, a stay at home mom, a single mom, a married mom, a crunchy mom, a PTA mom. She is all of us. Being a Rockstar Mom is not a list of things on a checklist. It is giving of ourselves every day to these children of ours. It is hard. It is sometimes lonely. But it is everything. Thanks for taking the time to read this mom’s story.

Rock Star Mom – Celeste

Hi everyone! It is great to be featured and to be a guest poster on this blog. My name is Celeste and I live in Missouri, owner of the doll boutique Rolling Rock Dolls. I have one child and have been a stay-at-home mom since my daughter was two years old. I had to quit working because my daughter kept having fever and allergies and the company I was working for was strict with attendance. I am glad I did! I didn’t know what life had to offer then, but I think I landed where I am supposed to be.

I sew doll clothes for baby dolls like Baby Alive, Bitty Baby, Cabbage Patch Kids and also for the 18” American Girl dolls. I am trying to expand the doll clothes I offer as my doll collection is growing. My business is not something that I planned for. I wanted to learn how to sew about six years ago so I looked for bargain fabrics at local stores. Then one day, I thrifted a doll for my daughter and looked into doll clothes online. I was amazed that they were selling and the prices were not cheap either. I started selling on eBay. Most of my prices back then were just a dollar per skirt or a simple dress. I kept improving my craft until I was able to make fancy dresses and gowns, still inexpensive, but I can price them a little over $10 each. A few years later, I opened an eBay store, then an Etsy shop, and now I am also on Amazon Handmade. Someday, I hope to offer more doll furniture and doll accessories. I have some big plans if only it were that easy.

I like the flexibility of being an entrepreneur. I can concentrate on sewing while my husband is at work and my daughter is at school. They are my business partners now. My daughter loves designing the dresses for dolls and she also helps me with taking pictures. She may someday take over. My cousin helps me with ideas and sourcing of materials, and other relatives give me fabric and sewing items for presents.

Time is the hardest part for me because sewing takes time. Listing and taking pictures can be time intensive too. I learned some shortcuts along the way. For other entrepreneurs working and selling from home, they can probably relate to what I am going through, but for me, it is so worth it.

]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/rockstar-mom-celeste/feed/0951Unplugged Activities for Toddlers and Preschoolershttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/unplugged-activities-for-toddlers-and-preschoolers/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/unplugged-activities-for-toddlers-and-preschoolers/#commentsMon, 15 Oct 2018 17:54:09 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=935My son wakes up in the morning groggy, binky in his mouth, blanket in hand. The first thing he asks me is, “Can we watch Roman’s show, Mommy?” TV. That’s the first thing on this kid’s mind when he wakes up. The battle against screen time has begun. In a previous post, I talked about […]

]]>My son wakes up in the morning groggy, binky in his mouth, blanket in hand. The first thing he asks me is, “Can we watch Roman’s show, Mommy?” TV. That’s the first thing on this kid’s mind when he wakes up. The battle against screen time has begun. In a previous post, I talked about the effects of too much screen time and how spending unplugged quality time with your kids is so vital in their development.

Unplugged Activities for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Because of the nap time thing, (My kids sleep for about 2 hours every afternoon, and my daughter sometimes needs an additional hour in the morning.) I really hate spending money on admission. We have a Children’s Museum near us and I love it. It is interactive and educational, really geared toward young children. But it costs $12 in admission for my son and I (my daughter is free), and between naps we can only ever go for a few hours.Trying to find unplugged activities has its struggles:

We have to plan around nap time.

My kids aren’t familiar with the concept of inside voices.

They are pretty much destruction on wheels.

My daughter, River, playing not so quietly, at our local library

Visit the Library

The public library is free!!! Thank you, America! Books, and movies, and music! Our library even has a telescope you can rent out!

When I take my kids to the library, my kids’ favorite part is the train track table. My son could spend hours building and rebuilding his own town out of train track pieces. There are also puzzles, board games, sensory toys, coloring pages. In addition, the library has a calendar of events and activities for babies through teenagers. All free.

Take a Hike

It’s not quite winter yet. Right now, northwest Ohio is a windy 55 degrees. The nights are cold, but the warm part of the day is the perfect weather for taking a family walk. My kiddos love to explore the great outdoors. I take them to a number of local parks and nature preserves and let them roam free. My son loves to pick up acorns and super cool rocks. My daughter loves to have wide open space; she just runs as fast as she can.

Cook Together

Food is my love language. Seriously, the way to my heart is through a really good taco. Sharing meals has always been a way for families to connect. Creating delicious food from scratch is a way that generations pass down their ways and traditions to their children. My son loves to be, “my good helper.” Cooking together let’s him create something he can share with those he loves and gives him something to be proud of.

He loves to bake cookies and cakes. Recently, I shared with him a family recipe for Chapatis, an Indian flatbread that my mother taught me how to make as a child. Today, we are making personal pizzas for dinner.

Have a Camp Out!

Get out your tent and set that baby up in your back yard! There is a magic that happens when kids sleep beneath the stars. Getting to stay up past bed time, sleeping in a sleeping bag, making s’mores over a fire. These are all things that little ones will be over the moon about.

If you think that your child is too young to have an actual back yard camp out, adjust it. Start with building a fort in the living room, move on to a back yard bonfire, and work your way up to sleeping in a tent. I promise they will love it and you will officially be the coolest mom ever.

Roman painting a picture to send to his Aunt, who is currently living in Dubai!

Make an Art Project

This one feels a little Parenting 101 to me. Kids like to color and paint, right? And in my house, that’s usually all I do. But once in a while, I like to go all out, and actually do one of those creative Pinterest crafts I have had pinned for years.

Since my kids are so small, I am selective with the projects we do. I do any cutting with scissors ahead of time and gather all the supplies to make it simple and straight forward for them. We don’t do any projects that will require more than twenty minutes or so of their attention. And we do craft day and bath day on the same day because it is likely the kids will get messy.

Workout or Dance Together

This is one of my favorite unplugged activities to do with my children. We crank up our favorite songs on the speaker and have crazy dance parties. My kids love Raffi and any songs from their favorite movies and TV shows.

During the week I babysit, and when I have a house hold of kiddos, sometimes we do a kid friendly workout to get their sillies out.

Explore Your Community

One of my favorite features of social media is how it connects communities to the local events and culture in a given area. Connect with a group like MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) , connect with parents at your church, or join a community based Facebook group. Check out local events and group gatherings geared toward young children.

I really depend on the activities in my community as a source of unplugged activities for my family. Some of our favorites include agricultural fairs, art fairs, carnivals, public concerts, and public play dates.

The kiddos racing through our local Menards

Play Pretend

When you run out of ideas, or money, or the weather is just too awful to leave the house, you can always go back to the natural way children play – pretend! Let your children take the reigns on this one and see what they come up with. Getting on the floor and really playing with your kids has no substitute. This time in their lives goes so quickly and the beautiful creativity of their little minds is an amazing thing to witness. Take time to engage with them and you are sure to benefit even more than they do.

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]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/unplugged-activities-for-toddlers-and-preschoolers/feed/6935The Screen Time Problemhttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/screen-time/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/screen-time/#commentsFri, 12 Oct 2018 02:01:17 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=916Parenting is such a heavy undertaking. In no other role have I felt the gravity of every decision. Every choice I make for my family has the potential to drastically impact the direction of my children’s lives. What I feed them, what books we read, what we do together as a family, and how much […]

]]>Parenting is such a heavy undertaking. In no other role have I felt the gravity of every decision. Every choice I make for my family has the potential to drastically impact the direction of my children’s lives. What I feed them, what books we read, what we do together as a family, and how much screen time I give them.

I try to keep my kids unplugged as much as I can. Don’t get me wrong. We own a TV. We watch it, daily. My kids love shows like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and Paw Patrol. TV lets me do things like make dinner, fold laundry, and take a shower. YouTube Kids is directly responsible for allowing my family to eat at restaurants. But when my kids and I spend time together, quality time, I try to keep screens out of it.

The Screen Time Problem

Today’s world is much different than it was when I was a kid, and even more when you look at how our parents’ generation grew up. The main difference, of course, is the prevalence of technology. This is a digital age and the way our children are growing up is reflective of that.

I believe that the simplest, truest aspects of childhood transcend generational differences and are bigger than things like smart phones or Alexa. Childhood to me means bed time stories, bike rides, and staying outside til the lights come on. I want a 1980’s movie childhood for my kids, a childhood where they have secret tree house meetings with their friends and play lots of board games.

Until my son was around two years old, I used to allow my him to have YouTube open on my phone without filtering, or even paying attention to what he was watching.We used to just have Nick JR on the TV all day long. I didn’t like the effects that much screen time had on my children’s behavior. My son was irritable and unfocused. He didn’t want to engage in imaginative play.

The Dangers of Too Much Screen Time

I do recognize that technology is now a part of our world, and that my children will need to learn computer skills in the way I needed to learn English, there are so many studies that show that technology has negative effects on our kids as well.

While technology can sometimes aid in education, too much exposure causes kids to have a hard time focusing and can lead to a delay in the ability to read emotions and small vocabulary. Psychology Today states that overuse of technology in parenting young children can even lead to actual delay in brain development, more specifically, the frontal lobe, the part of the brain that helps us relate to other people. It makes sense – this part of the brain develops by interacting with other people, and if a child is always watching a screen, they are not exercising that part of their brain.

The Correct Use of Screen Time

Listen, I am not hear to bash on technology. I am a blogger, after all. This wonderful platform does not exist without laptops and smartphones and high speed internet. And let’s be honest, for most of our kids, career success will be somewhat dependent on their ability to navigate a technology saturated world. But I think its important that we filter out the noise and make sure we are mindful about our kids’ screen time.

I think the key is to save technology for short breaks during the day and make that time meaningful. Of course, watch a movie together as a family, and let Curious George babysit while you fix the kiddos lunch. But instead of handing them YouTube to navigate on their own during dinner, maybe download an educational, interactive game instead.

The Mayo Clinic gives three guidelines for kids ages 2-5 in regards to screen time:

One hour a day

No unsupervised use

High quality programs or games

Now, I realize that we are real mothers in the real world – these are standards to strive for. If you go over an hour a day, hell, if you go over 3 hours in a day, don’t beat yourself up. Just make a goal to be mindful about screen time from now on.

Extra Tip – The Kindle Fire has features like parental controls, built in time limits, and doesn’t require an internet connection. It makes a great educational tool for young kids!

Technology Free Quality Time

I think the best thing I can do to raise children who are not addicted to screen time is to show them all the fun to be had away from a screen! Encourage them to have free play time, exploring, adventuring, saving the kingdom from the evil dragon that wants to destroy the playground. Get them outside and allow them to learn the way kids are supposed to learn – by playing!

In my home, I make sure that when the kids and I are spending quality time, it does not involve a screen (for the most part). I aim to show them that the really important things in life are EXPERIENCED and not just watched on a screen. We do things like going to the park, or out for ice cream. We play in the back yard, take walks, and catch lightning bugs. One of my favorite things to do with my kids is cook. Every night, we read a few books and sing our favorite lullaby. I talk to them and ask questions about their thoughts and feelings. And we play, a lot.

I’m no expert, but I think the solution to the problem of screen time and kids is the same solution to most parenting problems: love them, spend time with them, make them feel they are important and interesting.

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]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/screen-time/feed/11916My Favorite Things: Bed Time Bookshttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/bed-time-books/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/bed-time-books/#commentsWed, 03 Oct 2018 13:14:19 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=897Bed time used to be something I dreaded. Before we established our amazing bed time routines with both children, bed time meant rocking a Rock ‘n’ Play with my feet for a half hour or longer. I truly dreaded it, and my kids probably sensed that. Now, bed time is is one of my favorite […]

]]>Bed time used to be something I dreaded. Before we established our amazing bed time routines with both children, bed time meant rocking a Rock ‘n’ Play with my feet for a half hour or longer. I truly dreaded it, and my kids probably sensed that.

Now, bed time is is one of my favorite times to share with my babies. They take baths and play in giant bubble mountains. They get dressed in the cutest jammies. And we snuggle up under covers to read a few books before singing our favorite song and going to sleep. It’s the best.

My kids and I love to get a new set of books from the library every week, but there are a few favorites we keep on the shelf next to my son’s bed. We read them over and over again and never tire of them. A few of them are even books I read with my mom during my own childhood, and that is a cool thing to share as well.

My Favorite Bed Time Books

Good Night, Moon

By Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd

My all time favorite bed time book happens to be my son’s favorite as well. Good Night, Moon is a classic. The book has simple, yet engaging illustrations and poetic lines that are perfect for tucking in little ones. I know this book by heart and will sometimes recite it to my children to get them to fall asleep on long drives.

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault

Chicka Chicka Boom Boomis another favorite from my childhood. The rhythm of this book is perfect for little ones, and they get to practice their alphabet too! We pat our laps while reading this book and the kids love to read along too.

Llama Llama Red Pajama

by Ann Dewdney

Llama Llama Red Pajama is just fun to read. A cute story about a baby llama who is worried when his mother leaves after tucking him into bed. The message of reassurance is comforting to children who might be scared to fall asleep.

Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

by Dr. Seuss

Oh, Dr. Seuss. One of these days, I will write a post dedicated to just my favorite Dr. Seuss books. There are so many great ones. But I think this one might be my favorite. I love children’s books that encourage them to dream, to reach for the sky, and let them know that they are amazing people already. Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? is a fantastic message for young people and adults alike.

Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You

by Nancy Tillman

From my perspective as a mother, Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You holds a very special place in my heart. Nancy Tillman’s poetry is lyrical and delicate. Her illustrations are detailed, light, beautiful. She conveys the depth, the gravity, the endlessness of a mother’s love. I can’t read this book without crying. I give it to every mother-to-be for a shower gift.

You Are My I Love You

by Maryann Cusimano Love and Satomi Ichikawa

I love this book. A simple poem about the relationship between a parent and child. It expresses the wonder and beauty and timelessness in this relationship. You Are My I Love You explains what love is to your child in words they understand.

The Importance of Reading

Reading to your child is the best way to build their vocabulary! While we all speak to our children, the words we use may be repetitive. Even the smallest infants benefit from reading, the sounds of the words and colors in the pictures stimulate their brains and help them to learn about their language and their world. Reading a variety of books will build their vocabulary and encourage them to be comfortable with and excited about reading on their own.

More than the educational benefits, reading to your child every night is a great way to bond and spend time hugging on your little one. Children who are read to regularly are even known to exhibit less aggressive or hyperactive behavior.

Go Read a Book!

My mother read to me often, and by doing so, she sparked in me a love for language, for stories and the magic within them. A book can teach you things you need to learn about science, history, or math, and a book can show you the beauty of the human experience with a story. Books have always been my escape from the world, and I hope to pass that down to my children as well.

RESOURCES:

PARENTS Magazine has a guide for what types of books to select for your child based on their age.

Your own local library is also a great resource. No matter what age your children are, there is a book they will love. We make a weekly trip to our local library and pick out five books for each of my children. Not sure what to pick? Ask a librarian!

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]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/bed-time-books/feed/13897How a Bed Time Routine Will Transform Your Lifehttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/bed-time-routines/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/bed-time-routines/#commentsTue, 02 Oct 2018 14:31:54 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=886Sleep is one of those great conundrums when it comes to parenting little ones. Some children are amazing sleepers from day one. Others fight naps and bed time every day. But for growing children, lots of quality sleep is vital. Newborn babies sleep for up to 18 hours a day, and toddlers may sleep up […]

]]>Sleep is one of those great conundrums when it comes to parenting little ones. Some children are amazing sleepers from day one. Others fight naps and bed time every day. But for growing children, lots of quality sleep is vital. Newborn babies sleep for up to 18 hours a day, and toddlers may sleep up to 15 hours a day!

Humans, again like other animals, are easily conditioned, which is where having a bed time routine with your children can be of great benefit. For newborns, it can be the saving grace in getting your baby to sleep easily every night. For older children, the benefits of a bed time routine will mean a good night’s sleep, which will translate into more efficient digestion, and better mental focus. Across the board, for little ones and adults both, better sleep decreases lifetime risk for diabetes, obesity, and heart disease, and increases immune function.

“A good night’s sleep,” for little ones, means two things.

The ability for a child to fall asleep easily.

The ability for a child to stay asleep throughout the night, and self soothe if they wake.

My daughter was about four months old before I was able to lay her down and walk away, trusting she would fall asleep without 30 minutes of rocking and singing. My son was 11 months old before he slept through the night without needing to breastfeed. I have been to the most desperate places in my search for sleep solutions for my kids.

The Book That Changed My Life

The No Cry Sleep Solution.This book changed my life. I have written about it in previous posts, and I’ll probably reference it again. Elizabeth Pantley’s advice resonated with me. I could never wrap my brain around letting my kids cry it out.

Pantley’s advice is practical and personal. She starts by explain the biological and psychological process that affect and are affected by a healthy sleep schedule. Then, she has you document how your baby sleeps and what you are doing as a parent. Then the book helps you put a GENTLE plan in place, to ease your child into a routine that fosters comfort and teaches them how to be great sleepers.

My son was sleeping through the night within three weeks of implementing Pantley’s method, and my daughter took less than two weeks to fall asleep on her own.

How to Get Your Baby Asleep Fast

Routine, routine, routine. I can’t stress this enough: having a comforting and consistent bed time routine is essential for establishing good sleep habits in your baby (or toddler, or six year old). Start your bed time routine at the same time every night. This will help set your child’s biological clock. Eventually, he will be tired and ready for bed at this time every night, less dependent on the routine you have set.

Start earlier. Elizabeth Pantley recommends that infants go to bed anytime after 6 P.M. when they are showing signs of being tired. Some of these signs are hard to catch if you don’t know what you are looking for. For example, a baby who is staring off into space is a tired baby. A baby that is crying because he is tired is an OVERTIRED baby, and he may not be able to fall asleep easily.

Have your routine be a comforting time. For us, we started with a warm bath with dimmed lights. A lavender bath soap that is made for relaxation. A warm bedroom, lavender scented lotion. We snuggled up and read a book, and finished with the same song each night. My kids both sleep with a box fan running in their rooms. But when we travel, I bring a portable white noise machine. (Newborns are used to hearing the sounds inside your body – it’s the silence that is strange for them!)

The Three Minute Rule

This is my personal rule and it has helped me tremendously to encourage my children to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own, while minimizing my mommy guilt. It’s simple. I tuck my children in after their bed time routines, leave the room, and shut the door. Then I do not reenter their room for three minutes. If after three minutes, they are CRYING, I will go back in and comfort them (talking, babbling, or rolling around is not reason to reenter their room).

I give them the smallest amount of comfort I can to calm them down. If they are pacified by being tucked in again and my singing a song, that’s what we do. I don’t pick them up, lay with them, or rock them unless nothing else works. Then we start the three minutes again.

Most of the time, if either of my kids are fussing after I lay them down, they will calm themselves down and settle in before the three minutes is up. By going back in their room right away or staying until they are asleep, I am not allowing them the opportunity to learn to self soothe.

My son, Roman, holding his sister while she sleeps

Stick With It!

The first few nights of our bed time routine with my son, my husband begged me to quit. I had gone back in his room to comfort him probably five times. I still got up with him every time he woke during the night. But it really does work.

Remember, you are both teaching your children to associate the elements of your routine with sleep AND set their biological clock to sleep at the same time each day. Experts say that it takes 21 days to form a habit. In this case, it might take even less, because the human body already craves routine!

You might have to adjust your own schedule, say no to dinner guests or other evening activities, to stick to your routine. But you will be so glad that you did. My own kids are so set in their routine that now they will both let me know when it is time for bed. They go to bed without difficulty and sleep soundly until about 7:00 A.M..

Go Forth, and Sleep Well!

We moms wear our sleep deprivation like a badge of honor sometimes. It truly is a rite of passage that every parent will go through at some point. But it needn’t be a prolonged struggle. There IS a way for the whole family to get back to a good night’s sleep.

Every child, every mother, and every family is different. Pay attention to your child’s unique personality and sleep cues. Before you know it, you won’t be stressing about sleep anymore.

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]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/bed-time-routines/feed/11886Crock Pot Asian Pork Tacoshttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/recipe/crock-pot-asian-pork-tacos/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/recipe/crock-pot-asian-pork-tacos/#commentsFri, 28 Sep 2018 13:27:45 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?post_type=recipe&p=870Tacos are life. I love tacos. Seriously, tacos are my love language. What’s not to love? All it takes is placing amazing ingredients into a tortilla, and BOOM! A taco is born. You can make tacos out of anything, and I have yet to meet a taco I didn’t like. I love all tacos from […]

]]>Tacos are life. I love tacos. Seriously, tacos are my love language. What’s not to love? All it takes is placing amazing ingredients into a tortilla, and BOOM! A taco is born. You can make tacos out of anything, and I have yet to meet a taco I didn’t like. I love all tacos from the classic Tacos de Carne Asada to the Choco-Tacos I enjoyed as a middle school student cafeteria. But, as a mom, most weeknights, I just want a meal that my whole family will like, doesn’t break the bank, and is easy to make. For us, that is my Asian pork tacos.

Crock Pot Asian Pork Tacos

(This post contains affiliate links. That means that if you click on one of the links, and subsequently make a purchase, I receive a small commission.)

Once in a while, we do taco night up proper at Doseck Manor. I marinate chicken and steak for a full day, we make some homemade queso verde and guacamole, and invite everyone we know. But most of the time, I am just a mom trying to feed my family. I am trying to appease the pallets of two adults and two small children, while not spending too much time in the kitchen and not spending too much at the grocery store.

When I am coming up with a new meal for our family menu, I ask myself some questions.

What is on sale at the grocery store this week?

Pork is one of my favorite meats to cook with, and for this recipe, I use a pork loin roast. The pork loin is less fatty than the pork shoulder cut, and it shreds really easily. This week at my grocery store, the pork loin roasts were on sale for less than $2.00 per pound! It usually comes in packages between three and four pounds, which is more than enough to feed every member of my family for at least three days.

What’s in my pantry?

This recipe uses simple seasoning that I can mix together in two minutes. Soy sauce, sesame oil, minced garlic, and chili paste are things I always have on hand. You should too. These flavors can be used in more than just Asian food – they can elevate so many recipes.

Can I prepare the recipe in less than 30 minutes?

Enter the crock pot. I am a big fan of crock pot recipes, and if you are a mom, chances are you are a fan of them, too. I love than this recipe doesn’t require much prep. The meat is ready to go in the crock pot in five minutes, and the toppings for my tacos take about ten minutes total to chop.

Will my kids AND my husband like this recipe?

My family’s tastes vary greatly. My husband loves spicy foods, or anything he can completely cover in condiments. My son is the opposite; as a three year old, he has decided to assert his free will when it comes to what he eats. He is a super picky eater and only likes about 5 foods. My daughter is one and a half. She has yet to meet a food she doesn’t like, but I need to make sure she is able to chew it easily. My pork tacos make everybody happy, and that makes Mommy happy.

Can I possibly repurpose the leftovers?

Despite the classic Asian flavors used in this recipe, the pork is extremely versatile. It makes great tacos when paired with classic toppings like queso fresco, cilantro, and lime. I have also made it into tacos with American coleslaw, Asian Pear coleslaw, or pickled veggies. I have put it into stir fry and served it with rice. I have made it into sandwiches. I promise, you won’t get sick of eating this pork.

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as my family did!

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]]>https://motherhood-made-simple.com/recipe/crock-pot-asian-pork-tacos/feed/2870Teaching Children Responsibilityhttps://motherhood-made-simple.com/teach-children-responsibility/
https://motherhood-made-simple.com/teach-children-responsibility/#respondSat, 22 Sep 2018 13:52:29 +0000https://motherhood-made-simple.com/?p=775Today’s children, in this modern world of technology and convenience, are at a high risk of becoming entitled brats who do not understand things like delayed gratification, hard work, or how their actions affect others. I am determined not to allow my kids to fall into this trap. I value things like a home cooked […]

]]>Today’s children, in this modern world of technology and convenience, are at a high risk of becoming entitled brats who do not understand things like delayed gratification, hard work, or how their actions affect others. I am determined not to allow my kids to fall into this trap.

I value things like a home cooked meal, handwritten notes, and relationships built on shared experience and in-person conversations. As a mom, it is so important to my that my children learn that easy doesn’t always mean better, that putting time and work into something always adds to its value and your appreciation for it.

How to Teach Small Children Responsibility

So how do you teach such a complex lesson to a two, three, or four year old? I think it starts small and with things they understand. It starts with teaching them to work for a goal and how good it feels to accomplish that goal. Just last week, my son had his first swim lesson. He was scared because it was his first time in a pool without his floaties (even though I was with him the whole time), but, with some strong encouragement, he powered through and was having a blast by the end of the class. Afterward the class ended, I praised him for how brave he was and the two of us celebrated by hitting up our favorite restaurant for a piece of chocolate cake and a root beer.

(This post contains affiliate links. This just means that if you happen to click on one of the links and subsequently make a purchase, I receive a commission.)

Responsibility is a complex idea. It means different things in different situations. You are responsible for the things you own, for your assigned duties and actions, and for respecting your promises and boundaries within relationships.

Whoa! We are supposed to teach all that to preschoolers?!

It’s easier if we break it down.

Responsibility with Things

This might be the easiest way to teach small children responsibility.

My son, who is three and a half years old, is responsible for putting his toys away both before nap time and before bed time. He is also responsible for putting his dirty dishes in the sink after meals and ensuring his dirty clothes make it to the hamper as he sheds them.

When he does these things, he gets extras like one more book before bed, and sometimes an ice cream if he does an exceptionally good job. In contrast, if he is feeling particularly stubborn one day and refuses to take care of his things, he might find that his things go missing. If he asks where his favorite car is, I simply tell him that since he didn’t take care of it, he won’t be able to have it until the next day.

Start this practice early. My daughter is 15 months old. She doesn’t speak in any language that can be understood, but she does seem to understand what I am saying to her. She understands what it means when Mommy tells her to put a toy away, so I tell her, and she does.

Responsibility for your Actions

Again, responsibility is all about ownership and consequence. The things you do are in your control – your decision, and you have to accept the consequences for those actions. One example of this is when a child intentionally makes a mess or makes a mess because of carelessness.

If your child is like mine, he may do things like tipping over his milk to see what happens at the dinner table. I aim to teach him that what happens is him having to clean up that mess and go without dessert that evening.

Responsibility to People

This one I think we don’t fully learn until adulthood. For me, it was when I became a parent. Yes, you are responsible for your things and for your actions. But who are you responsible to? As a member of your community, you are responsible as a citizen. You are responsible to your boss as an employee. And then there is the ultimate responsibility, that of a parent to a child.

Our attitudes, words, and actions have weight.

My son and I visited the beach by his grandparents’ house yesterday, and as he played in the water, this thought occured to me: My little three year old boy is so small, seeming ever smaller when compared with the vast body of Lake Erie. But his toe still creates a ripple. No matter how small his role that lake, his actions still create an effect that is very visible in what is immediately surrounding him.

Families are where we learn this lesson as children. We teach this by talking, a lot, to our children about thoughts and feelings. About how our roles within the family unit come with certain responsibilities, and the positive and negative consequences that come from how we take those responsibilities on.

Just as important is recognizing your children’s emotional expression and helping them why they feel a certain way.

Consistency, Routine, and Language Kids Understand

It is much easier to just pick up the toys myself, rather than wait the fifteen minutes or more that it sometimes takes my son to do it. Some days, I am tired and frustrated. But unless something is taught with consistency, kids will not accept it as the way things are.

More than that, make your lessons in responsibility part of your daily routine. Do things like cleaning up toys at the same time every day, and have the same consequences and rewards.

And finally, talk to them about it. Talk to them about everything, using examples they understand, building on their understanding of something familiar to them. When giving a consequence, talk your child through why they are receiving that consequence and how they can change it next time. Use the same consequence and language each time so that your child understands responsibility as part of the way the world works.

RESOURCES:

I am also a huge fan of Dr. Sears. His perspective has always resonated with me in meeting babies and children where they are and fulfilling their needs as a means of solving problems like sleep, nutrition, and behavior. The Discipline Book has tons of advice and the scientific reasoning behind it to support you as your teach your child responsibility and discipline.

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