The two Glasgow teams are currently looking for a way to maximise the money they can make from their fans, are are striving to leave the Scottish league, which is becoming increasingly uncompetitive as the gruesome twosome drain the best talent from other teams only to let them languish as reserves.

To this end they are lifting their skirts to any number of other leagues, like a pair of Sauchiehall Street whores, only to be rebuffed time and again from UEFA, the FA, the SFA and almost any other interested organisation. The latest of these was an attempt to join the Nationwide League in England, an approach that was quickly batted away. Perhaps the most humourous aspect of these attitudes as the lather the west-coast Scottish press gets themselves into each time a proposal to leave the Scottish set-up is made, only to get covered in cold water when each move is dismissed.