Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

Truck driver threw urine bottles at cars for fun

"Since this fall, we've had eight to 10 incidents reported where people have found containers full of urine thrown into their backyards."

Reno Tobler, a truck driver whose route regularly brings him to the Des Moines area, was charged with littering and harassment for throwing laundry detergent-size bottles of his urine into backyards of Forest Avenue residents. The properties back University Avenue's north side in Clive.

Evans reported he saw Tobler walking on the sidewalk and holding a paper sack. As he drove past and looked in his rearview mirror, Evans reportedly saw Tobler throw the sack over a fence that separates the sidewalk from the nearby backyards.

Evans confronted Tobler, who denied he had thrown anything and said he had put the sack back in his coat, where he had a number of empty sacks.

Evans continued questioning Tobler, who later admitted he had thrown something over the fence. A search of area yards turned up three urine-filled bottles.

Tobler told police it was a longtime practice to fill the bottles and dump them while driving. A search of his truck, which was parked in the Best Buy parking lot. A search in West Des Moines, turned up numerous other bottles that had been filled with urine.Tobler was taken to the Polk County Jail and was later released after posting a $500 bond. Police said he had no known prior arrests. Article here.

Caption this...

Little girl sent to wrong country in flight mix-up

A nine year old girl on her first flight alone thought she was heading to meet her father in Germany where they were to celebrate Christmas together. But airline SAS got her mixed up with another girl of a similar age and packed her off to Luxembourg instead.The nine year old from Ystad was left at Kastrup airport on Friday morning where she was to be put on a flight to Hanover. A few hours later the girl's father rang wondering if she had not been able to get a seat on the plane.When the father raised the alarm the girl was quickly traced to Luxembourg. She had been switched with the other girl who was supposed to be on her way from Helsinki to Luxembourg.The father was flown to Luxembourg to meet his daughter, who was apparently quite calm about the whole mix-up."They were asking me questions in German," said the girl."But that was no problem because I understand and can write German. Then I got some nice food. They were kind and I was never scared."The father is now demanding a full explanation from SAS, who have admitted responsibility for the mistake."This should not happen. But somehow the papers have been mixed up. And of course it was hard for the children themselves to know which plane they were on," said Jens Langergaard, the press officer at SAS. Article here.

Static can be funny

WTF can I buy with a this stupid gift card? Cash

Chances are good you got some kind of gift card as a present this holiday season, but what if the gift card is for a store that is not really one of your favorites?

You can list your gift card for sale on this web site. You can also swap your gift card for a gift card you'd rather have, or you can sell your gift card directly to them. Pretty cool huh? Check out SwapAGift.com.

Look closely at the dude who is groping the girl

Naked runs around man thinks he is 'Satan'

A naked man in Lake County, Fla., claiming to be Satan was arrested after he threatened to kill a sheriff's deputy and then injured the man in a neighborhood street, according to a police report.

Officers responded to complaints of a naked man screaming in the streets Monday in the area of Wall Street and Grant Avenue in Eustis, Fla.

When deputies arrived, they found Roy Lee Henson walking with his boxer shorts around his ankles and screaming wildly, according to the report. Henson then lunged at a sheriff's deputy, the report said.

Backup officers arrived and took Henson into custody as the man screamed he was Satan. The sheriff's deputy suffered minor injuries when he was kicked during the struggle with Henson, according to the report.

Henson has been booked into the Lake County Jail on $10,000 bond.He faces charges of aggravated assault on a officer, resisting arrest with violence, exposure of sexual organs and disorderly conduct. Article here.

What happens when you have a CRAZY ex-wife

Proof Kevin Federline is a no talent-ass-clown

"I don't think we've ever been formally introduced. My name is Kevin Federline. I'm 6 feet tall, have brown hair and brown eyes. I enjoy horseback riding, long walks on the beach and the wind whipping through my hair. Ha ha ha. On a more serious note..." -actually taken from his websiteWTF? No fu*kin way... hell has frozen over. KevinFederline.com has been launched. God help us all.

In an effort to publicly defend himself (or it seems), he has decided to create his own website/blog. It will feature and highlight all the things he has accomplished in his career, as well as how his pathetic ass some how managed to marry Britney Spears. If you haven’t heard his ‘leaked’ rap album, don’t. Save your ear wax. It’s awful. I can’t decide which is worse; his corn-row hair style that he likes to occasionally flaunt, or the fact he has no musical talent whatsoever. See his sorry excuse for a website here. Living proof, anyone in this world can make it big. Anyone.

This guy really should learn to use his defrost

The movie 'Into the Blue' nominated for an Oscar

An Oscar, who are you kidding? So I was sitting around with some friends of mine over the holidays… and a commercial trailer came on the TV for a new DVD release, Into the Blue. I myself said out loud, “Why would anyone in their right mind waste their time on a horrible movie like that?” My friend defensively replied, “Well, duh dude- just to stare at Jessica Alba!”

Wanna save both your valuable money and time? So this guy has compiled the ‘quality’ screen appearances that Jessica has in the movie all on one web page. Pathetic I know. Don't kid yourself, you know your going to click the link to look at them. Click here to see the full set of pictures. You're pathetic.

This is usually how I pass-out when I nap

Gift-wrapped goat’s head found on porch

In what police believe was a holiday prank, a young woman unwrapped a gift box left on her porch last week to find a skinned goat's head.The 18-year-old woman, whom police declined to identify, found the box wrapped in Christmas paper about 1:40 p.m. The woman found no blood on the box."We think it was a distasteful prank," Palos Heights Police Detective Adam Nagy said. "That's the thought we have right now."The woman told police that the only rationale she could think of for the heartless gift was her eating habits, Nagy said. She told investigators she is a vegan, a vegetarian who avoids all animal products.Even though the goat's head looks like the work of pranksters rather than mobsters, police are taking the investigation seriously, Nagy said, and were trying to lift fingerprints from the package.Authorities said they did not know if any local farms were missing a goat.

The authorities are ‘taking this seriously?’ Yeah right. I’m sure they have their best men dedicated to this case. Are you kidding? Article here.

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."