How Socialism Works

Imagine two brothers. Little Johnny goes out delivering papers, washing cars, and doing various odd jobs around the house for pocket money – and he’s reaping the rewards of his labour. In a few months he might even afford that new X-Box. His brother – little Billy – he’s alright, but he’s somewhat less driven than Johnny, has less ambition, and is happy to spend his free time playing with friends and watching TV – normal kid stuff.

Dad is a socialist. He believes in such things as “redistribution of wealth” and “universal fiscal equalization.” Johnny’s ready to buy his prized X-Box, but Dad can’t bear the idea that one kid will have more than the other – so he demands that Johnny hands over a proportion of his wealth to Billy. Billy feels a bit guilty, but being human doesn’t look this gift horse in the mouth. Johnny can no longer afford the X-Box and becomes disillusioned. Why even bother? He’s learned that gaining wealth is too hard because Pops just hands so much over to Billy, and he’s learned that personal success is clearly not a thing to aspire to.

Billy doesn’t get any more money out of Johnny, because Johnny doesn’t work any more, there’s no point. Besides, he gets a roof over his head and three squares a day for free – he’ll settle for that. And so there is finally genuine fiscal equalization of the two brothers. Both have f… all.

No one in their right mind would really bring up their kids this way. And yet socialists think it’s a good way to run society? Bloody arrogant fools.