Where I remember old things.

CITV

Around this time of year I like to do an update, and recently I did a list of the TV shows that I have yet to review on this blog, so here is a now rather long list of the shows that I have reviewed already. If you like the look of anything that you might find interesting or think will bring back memories, why not take a look at the piece, it’d be great to know what you think!

And along with all that, I am always on the lookout for things on YouTube, and I also plan to review more things including adverts, pop music, computer games and so on. So if anything on the list looks like something you might be interested in, why not spread the word because it’ll be great to get as many people as possible have a look at these pieces.

After having a look back at various continuity clips recently, I remembered that a long time ago I left a tape running to record a whole afternoon of CITV, so here’s a look at some of the adverts that featured along with the shows. I’m fairly sure that it was recorded on 18 February 1993 in the Carlton region. Will there be lots of adverts for toys and things like that, let’s find out.

We begin with the break just before CITV when Blockbusters has ended at around 3:45pm. There’s an advert for Daz featuring Danny Baker who has decided to ask Diane from Coventry if she would take their challenge. And no, she wouldn’t swap her Daz for anything else. Also featuring is Pampers with rather alarming references to clammy bottoms, and the soundtrack to ITV drama series Head Over Heels.

CITV then starts, and we’re in the very early days of the host being Steven Ryde out-of-vision (although the symbol that was introduced in 1991 was retained) who would be behind the microphone for the next five years, before going off to work behind the scenes in children’s TV. There was a different look used for every day of the week and as it’s a Thursday there are some wooden things everywhere. Today includes Where’s Wally?, Tiny Toon Adventures, and Mike & Angelo.

But now it’s time for Starfax, today featuring Angelo from Mike & Angelo, and we learn lots of things including he is approximately 3,000 nanoscroobles old, and his best friend is Concita Wobblybots. Adverts include Rowntree’s Fruit Pastilles, and Kellogg’s Corn Flakes have an offer to get a free BT phonecard worth £2. Then there is some fancy yoghurt which is peach and maracuya flavour (I still don’t know what a maracuya is) and the Burger King Kids Club.

There is a trail for cartoon Tale Spin that is coming tomorrow, and Steven almost does a spoonerism (“obnexious nophew”) going into a series 5 episode of Mike & Angelo, accompanied by a lively animation (I did enjoy how they fiddled around with the CITV symbol at this time), people can’t wait to watch. Guest stars this week include John “Ashley, I say, Ashley!” Savident and Joe “Spatz” Greco. A Carlton programme for ITV.

Next is the first in a new series of Tiny Toon Adventures. There are adverts for Kellogg’s Rice Krispies with a free gift of a Red Nose Bike Reflector, plus strange ones for Sun Valley and Cadbury’s Mini Eggs. CITV isn’t only on weekdays though, we get a trail for what’s on offer on Saturdays and Sundays with What’s Up Doc? and The Disney Club at 9:25am. Cartoon Time with Bugs Bunny is next.

Most notable in this break is a revised advert for Robinsons, removing the song which featured the memorable lyric “the bison sucks on his orange“. Then there is a trail for Just Us, the drama series featuring the Clarksons and the Holdsworths, coming on Friday. Tomorrow’s treats include Thomas The Tank Engine, Zzzap!, Tale Spin and Just Us. That’s all for now!

It’s time to take a look back at the year. It’s rather odd to think that 2018 has now happened and been consigned to history, as I still think that it’s about 25 years into the future. Four years on from starting this blog I am satisfied with what I have achieved. I feel that I have settled in and I have now done almost 700 pieces, including about 150 this year, here’s a look at some of my highlights of the year.

There was plenty of excitement in pop music as the story I told about Bananarama on here that I think will always be my favourite blog piece took some further twists this year. Firstly, I found a picture on Instagram of Siobhan in a pub that I know that surprised me (and she was alongside Brix Smith who definitely had an interesting music career in the 80s too). I still honestly can’t believe that I have walked the same path in life (I don’t mean our careers of course, I mean literally the same Bethnal Green streets) as someone who fascinated me (along with many other people) with their chart-topping single back in 1992.

Not long after, a picture appeared of Siobhan alongside Marcella from Shakespear’s Sister, by all accounts the first time they had seen one another for 25 years which was really something unexpected. That all of this has actually happened still makes me happy. It’s good to know that she’s still out there but I haven’t looked at Siobhan’s Instagram page for a while now because as you see I usually get more than I bargained for…

I also did a three-part series looking back at Bananarama’s hit singles, and I reviewed Keren and Sara’s appearance on BBC1’s Pointless Celebrities. Well five years on they appeared on the show again, and managed to maintain their unbeaten record as they reached the final and this time they won the money! They made great records in the 80s, they’ve been to Bethnal Green, they win TV game shows… what’s not to admire? And it seems that there’s a new tour and album on the way too, I don’t think Siobhan is involved in these though, but who knows maybe I’ll see her in the pub one day.

I was also surprised by just how many 80s pop stars had their 60th birthdays this year. Siobhan was one of them in September, and 13 days later another one was Danielle Dax. To celebrate this I decided to do another piece about her career because I thought that her work was fascinating and there should be more about her online, and this received a positive response. After completing it I found another article about her in Number One magazine in 1984, with a full-page colour picture and everything. I also found an interview from the same time where she said that one of her icons was Cruella de Vil and I honestly don’t know if she was being serious or not.

Oh, and remember when I found a picture of Danielle from a year or two ago at a gig in Dalston where I said she had bright blue hair which I thought was odd, but I teased people by using a picture of Stormer from great 80s cartoon Jem instead? Well recently when searching online I found a picture captioned “Danielle Dax, 2018”, which is the best post-1991 picture that I have seen of her. So if you really do want to know what she looks like nowadays…

I also looked back at the hits of 80s music stars Haysi Fantaysee and Hazel O’Connor. Not long after I received a tweet from the woman herself who also retweeted the link to the piece, making it become my most-viewed blog piece that I did this year, I was thrilled and it made all the work I put into it worthwhile.I didn’t tag her in the link so there’s the positive side of vanity searching I suppose, what an endorsement. Well it’s more than Kate Garner did.

I also came across two shows this year that I previously had no knowledge of that I really enjoyed. The first of these was ITV’s drama and music series Jangles which starred Hazel O’Connor (I also noticed recently that one episode features another early-80s singer who was Honey Bane of “Turn Me On Turn Me Off” fame).I must admit that I really became fond of the bizarre character Herald (“obliging those who wish to blow their minds…“) and he is now one of my unsung TV heroes.

The other one was BBC2’s The Wolvis Family, an early-90s sitcom about a rather bizarre family that was described by the Radio Times Guide To TV Comedy as “a forgotten gem”, and that’s a statement I can’t argue with, it definitely deserves a DVD release. And the character of Mr Wolvis became another one of my favourites. Other long-forgotten comedy shows I enjoyed reviewing this year included BBC2’s It’s A Mad World World World World, ITV’s Not With A Bang and Channel 5’s Hospital!

As for game shows, I decided to review Quizmania as Greg Scott and Chuck Thomas who were among the hosts are both following me on Twitter and I hoped that it might catch their attention. I was very flattered that they both approved of the piece, with Greg saying that he was pleased by how many people still remember the show so long after it ended and Chuck giving it a like.

I also reviewed the revivals of The Crystal Maze and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (who knows, maybe they’ll revive Blockbusters one day…), along with some American versions of classic game shows including Cross Wits and Play Your Cards Right. Also this year we had to say goodbye to some familiar faces, including game show hosts Jim Bowen and Dale Winton, and children’s TV stars Barry Chuckle and Geoffrey Hayes. Thanks for lots of great memories.

I also looked back at a few other interesting shows including ITV’s Wake Up London, BBC Choice’s Hotlinks, the news coverage of the death of Diana, I admitted that I did admired the ITV Weathergens, and it was also enjoyable reviewing lots of old adverts. CBBC and CITV shows that I reviewed included Radio Roo and Mega Mania. There are plenty more reviews of classic TV memories planned to come in 2019.

My blog has had over 41,000 views this year. All that it remains for me to say is thanks for reading wherever you may be, and special thanks to everyone who liked and commented, it is much appreciated to know that you enjoy what I do!

Here’s the story of how I came across this one. Not long after I started doing this blog, someone contacted me and asked if I was planning to review Educating Marmalade. I said that I wasn’t because I had never seen it, “before my time” and all that. They seemed to be rather surprised by this, as if they thought that I knew about every 80s and 90s TV show, which is something I should be flattered by I suppose.

The only clip that I was familiar with was where Charlotte Coleman (who would have been 50 this year) hosted a month of Children’s ITV in character (just about) in April 1983, and caused something of a stir in the comments section because she called someone a “schmuck”. After I discovered that both series had been released on DVD, I thought that I might as well give it a try.

The character of Marmalade Atkins was created by Andrew Davies, who first appeared in a series of books before coming to CITV in 1981 in a one-off 25-minute show called Marmalade Atkins In Space as part of the Theatre Box series. I hoped that the episode would feature some random red-haired women and now rather bad-looking special effects, and I wasn’t disappointed. I thought to myself, this has the potential to be rather interesting.

The first series of Educating Marmalade launched on CITV in 1982, and the theme music was provided by Bad Manners. Marmalade Atkins can be described as the worst girl in the world, and every edition began with a “bad girl warning”. She has been expelled from every school that she has ever been to. Every week social worker Mrs Allgood sends Marmalade to a new school, much to the despair of her long-suffering parents (Mr Atkins was played by Rory Bremner’s mate John Bird).

In the first episode Marmalade attended Cringe Hill (a parody of CBBC’s Grange Hill), and among the unruly pupils was future Lananeeneenoonoo member Kathy Burke. Also appearing in a few episodes as a schoolgirl before they were famous was Julia Sawalha. Most episodes ended with an exasperated teacher saying “Marmalade Atkins… you are expelled!”.

Marmalade also had some personality quirks, such as having a blonde streak in her hair about 15 years before that woman from Friends, reading comics including 2000AD and The Beano rather than get on with any work, she had a talking puppet dog in her bedroom, and she was also rather fond of addressing everyone as “cock” (is this why it received a 12 certificate despite being shown on CITV I wonder?). The show was popular enough for there to be a second series with a slightly different format…

Danger – Marmalade At Work (CITV, 1984)

For this series, Marmalade had now left school and had a new social worker who was Wendy Wooley after Mrs Allgood had finally had enough. Marmalade remained a total menace and every week she would have a different job such as a chef, spy, air stewardess and so on. There was also an episode where she joined the army which featured a guest appearance from Windsor Davies practically playing the same character as he did in sitcom It Ain’t Half Hot Mum.

One of my favourite episodes in this series was a parody of Fame, set at the New York School For Show-Offs And Big Heads, which featured some song and dance routines, and among the cast was Danny John-Jules (about five years before Red Dwarf), and future Blue Peter presenter Michael Sundin. For this series Marmalade also sang the closing theme (“jobs, I’ve had a few, and most of them, were pretty grotty-ah!“).

21 episodes were made altogether (and were a Thames production for ITV) and they have all been released on DVD by Network, the only extras included though are photo galleries. Along with the books, there were also some annuals released in the 80s that celebrated “television’s horrible heroine”. This series definitely had a lot of amusing and anarchic moments, it was good seeing lots of guest stars joining in, and I enjoyed it a lot.

Art Attack was one of my favourite shows on CITV in the 90s, and it became popular enough with viewers for there to be many Christmas specials made over the 17 years it ran for, so here’s a review of the special that was shown in 1994. It was 25 minutes long (about ten minutes longer than a usual edition), and of course it was hosted by Neil Buchanan.

Let’s open the Art Attack Christmas Cracker! As it was a special edition, there was a chance to do some more ambitious things, and as we’ll see, Neil definitely took advantage of that. First of all though, Neil begins by showing us how to make our own Christmas tree. All you need is some card and some paper, a little paint, and plenty of squidgy bottles of glue to hand as well, and you’ll soon have something fantastic looking.

Neil also reveals his struggles with sticky tape. After Neil has said “try it yourself”, we visit the art gallery that contains The Head, who is always fond of Christmas. He was unsuccessful in making his own tree though as he had no card. Having no arms or legs probably made it difficult too. Then we come to the main part of the show, the big Art Attack.

Because it’s a special, for the first time Neil takes us behind the scenes of how a big Art Attack is organised, they don’t just throw these things together. As well as a great idea, it’s also important to have a production team, especially a cameraman, it does help, and in this case, as we’ll see, a passport and some plane tickets will be rather important to have too. This is because they are all going to Colorado in America where there is plenty of snow, and they are aiming for the world record!

Back to the studio first though, and Neil is telling us that he couldn’t believe the price of wrapping paper, so he reveals how to make our own. You can take some old bin bags and flick some little blobs of green and red paint on them, or you can take a red bag and tie another bag around it for a really classy look. People will think that you have spent a lot of money.

Back to America, and Neil along with the team are all working hard to make sure that the big Art Attack will all go to plan. Before that, Neil shows us how to make some of our own Christmas cards that will really stand out, they are great, I really don’t know how he never went on to get a job at one of those craft shopping channels. But now it’s time for the big moment…

Neil puts the finishing touch to his successful big Art Attack by becoming part of the picture himself, and he has also set the world record! In later Christmas Cracker specials, there were some more creative ideas, including making your own decorations, and some of the highlights were released on VHS. There was also an impressive and ambitious big Art Attack in New York where the lights were turned on in a skyscraper to create a special image. Ta-ra!

This is a comedy show that was shown on CITV in the 80s that went through a few formats. The Joke Machine was usually around 15 minutes long and it was a Border production (making it one of their higher-profile bigger budget shows for ITV, ha-ha). The show featured a host and a machine that along with some children would try to tell as many jokes as they could.

In the first series in 1985 the machine was called Fearless Fred, and the hosts were the double-act The Krankies. I must admit that I don’t remember this version, but I have no doubt that it must have been Fandabidozi. In 1987 the second format launched and that was the one that caught my attention. The machine was now called Charlesand it was able to talk, and there was a new host.

And that host was only Andrew O’Connor! This was something of a surprise though because he is so silly, he was once asked why don’t bees hum and he said it was because they don’t know the words. As you might know by now I have enjoyed a lot of Andrew’s TV work over the years, so it was good to see him doing this, and I’m not even joking when I say that he’s also one of my favourite game show hosts and is a regular feature in my Game Show Memories series.

This meant that I got a little overexcited when I found one of his editions of The Joke Machine online, and he really packed a lot into the time and showed off his various skills. As well as telling some groan-worthy jokes, Andrew also sang the opening theme, did some impressions, performed some magic tricks, and he would even do a little dance if needed. There were a few regular features, including Tag The Gag, where Andrew would have to guess how a joke ends, and he usually got it wrong.

Another fun feature was The Magic Circle where Andrew would perform a trick and nobody could work out how it was done because he was clever like that, and he would also help some children perform a funny sketch. There were some amusing credits too, such as the producer being credited as “Man With Headache”. There was also a Christmas special in 1987.

But for the third and final series in 1989, the format changed again. Andrew had gone, and the host was now wellie-wearing jokester Jimmy Cricket, who was occasionally assisted by Jim Bowen for even more quickfire gags, how marvellous. I wouldn’t know how many viewers remember watching The Joke Machine, and I’m not sure how many people out there would ever admit to having been on it, but it was very entertaining.