after messing with the caps and resistors for a couple hours i finally got it to charge and play music at the same time.
so then i took this:
and hardwired the 3.5mm jack to it. then i hardwired a cig usb charger.
now im left with only this cable for my iphone 5 or whatever ipod i phone i want to connect:
now i can connect and charge my iphone at the same time, or if someone has an android or something other i still have the 3.5mm jack
just waiting on my euro tray to clean it up a little more.