Makeshift memorials are reminders that we must put an end to drunken driving once and for all. How tired are we, and weary of riding, driving or walking past flowers and wreaths, hung on poles and laid by roadsides. They might be considered pretty, if not serving as reminders of young lives lost to DUI (driving under the influence) accidents and vehicular homicides? These memorials stand as a warning to further deter these senseless deaths and injuries. But the shrines don't seem to help. Drunken driving and drug related deaths continue to rise statistically in direct proportion to the grief of those who have lost loved ones. I, for one, am tired of this. I had often thanked God that the Vietnam War spared my husband, my sons and brothers. Yet fifteen years later, a Vietnam veteran, messed up by drugs and alcohol, took my daughter’s life in an area I had hoped was a safe haven to raise children. Sadly, there are no safe places. My nightmare began on a lovely country road in rural Pennsylvania and 26 years later the scars are not, nor ever will be fully healed. Noelle was one of the true innocent victims of drunken driving events. She did nothing wrong, loved life and lived it to the fullest. In a split second, her neck was snapped and spinal cord severed by the drunk driver, who swerved into her with his rear-view mirror, and flipped her twenty feet over the back of his truck. When I ran to her she was face down, bluish and not breathing. The paramedics managed to revive her—and that began a ten day vigil—a horror for Noelle, who had a perfect mind, eyes that could barely see and perfect hearing. But nothing else. She held on to whatever life she had, out of love for us, until I gave her permission to go Home, if she chose. Within two days, she was gone. It was the hardest think I ever had to do, but I felt that God wanted me to let her go. My family, including six children, now five, fell apart and suffered alone, each in our own way. I wrote as a catharsis to my intense grief. These stories culminated in the completion of a memoir of her life. Writing it brought my daughter back to life, full of laughter and comical antics, but when I finished it, I lost her all over again — because there seems to be no closure with the death of the child. However, something wonderful happened after the release of my book . . . “And the Whippoorwill Sang." At long last and well overdue, Staten Island, New York where I now live, organized a MADD (Mothers against Drunk Drivers) group. I knew then what needed to be done for my family and myself. We joined immediately. The goal of MADD is to make the general public aware of how to address the problem of keeping our families safe. MADD educators stress that our youth have choices to make in their young lives — choices only they can make. They seek to remind youth that they will be held accountable for their own actions, as well as being affected by those of their friends. The MADD organization is also available to console those who've suffered losses, leading them through fellowship, to the other side of grief. I wish this had been available to my own family years ago. It is now, and I intend to take full advantage of everything this wonderful group of volunteers is willing to offer. As I give thanks for the support MADD has to offer, I remember the works of the writer, John Donne, who certainly spoke the truth when he wrote, “No man is an island, entire of itself; each man is a piece of the continent . . . Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind . . . .”

Micki began writing after a personal tragedy, as a catharsis for my grief. This lead to a first time out publication in Victimology: An International Magazine and a 25 year career in Journalism. I've freelanced and been staff writer for one major newspaper and written for two more. I have published short fiction and non-fiction, as well as slice of life stories in colleges and other magazines and in e-zine editions. My first book was published in 2008; a funny family memoir of love, loss and survival, called, . . .AND THE WHIPPOORWILL SANG which won the Nesta CBC silver award for writing that makes a change in the world. Two of my short horror stories have been published in an anthology called "Speed of Dark." I am presently working on a collection of short fiction, slice of life stories and essays, in a book called, Heartbeat. . .slices of life.

Delinda, thank you for helping spread this story.
Micki, you're helping so many people by talking about MADD's laudable work! Thank you for revisiting your experience for the sake of others in similar situations.

Micki's ...AND THE WHIPPOORWILL SANG is forever in my memory and I hope everyone coming to Delinda's blog today will read it. Micki has done an incredible job of getting the message of the horrible effects of drunk driving across in her fascinating memoir.

Thanks for your kind words , Martha. DWI deaths are not decreasing that much inspite of all the laws MADD helped pass--like upping the drinking ages. We just have to try to reach the kids themselves--I wanted my book to do that--but it's never enough

I met Micki through reading and interviewing her about her wonderful memoir..."and the Whippoorwill Sang". The book is a tribute to her beautiful daughter, Noelle, her young life cut short by a drunk driver. I have the utmost respect for the MADD organization for being advocates for the families of these tragedies.

Thanks, Penelope,avenues such as your wonderful Blog TalK RadioShow are most helpful in getting the message across to kids and adults about the trafgedy from drinking , doing drugs and driving. I hope that together we made a difference.

John Donne is one of my most favorite writers and his quote that says, No man is an island," is one of those quotes that impregnated my life when I turned 12 years old. It is a dynamic quote and describes the urgency for all of us to become a part of protecting people from the insensitivity of people who get behind a steering wheel while intoxicated or under the influence of any type of drug.

I applaud your being a part of the The MADD organization and even though it may seem that crime with motor vehicles with the driver being intoxicated while driving is increasing, keep moving ahead with your work.

It is the work of those who continue to hammer at politicians and law enforcement to make laws that will enforce zero tolerance when driving that will succeed in the end. I believe that.

Thank you also Delinda for spotlighting Micki. The article was enlightening and encouraging because it points out an organization where people can seek help and comfort who have undergone the lost of a loved one by an intoxicated driver.

Thank you, Micki, for the reminder to be aware of organizations that support those who have lost a loved one through DUI/DWIs. I hope that soon an organization is born for those who lost loved ones because someone was texting while driving. The numbers seem to increase all the time. Until people get responsible about their own actions, it seems we live in a stalled state. But I loved your book and recommend it to many of my friends. Love you, Deirdre
PS, Thank you, Delinda, for spotlighting Micki.

Deiredre, those were my thoughts as I was answering another comment. When they banned taling on hand-held cell phones, I thought it would end but now they text in their lap where they can't be seen and it's even worse.I know so many dearhs from this. Thanks for mentioning it.
Hugs, Micki

Reply

Kimber Cole

5/22/2013 11:52:57 pm

This issue is so important. No one else should die simply because people are too selfish to drive sober. Micki takes this issue straight to the heart and I hope that, reading this, lives will be saved.

Thanks for this blog post, Delinda! I happen to be in contact with Micki and her book was the first one I read from a fellow writer I met on LinkedIn.
She's not only an excellent author but is also a wonderful mother and with everything she went through and is still standing, proud and energetic - she's a GREAT woman and person!!
Thanks for helping to spread this message!!