Have you ever had a flashback to something that happened years ago? I did this morning at something that was most unfair to Skip and I. Why I thought of it … I don’t know because … I never dwell on anything from the past. This was so unfair … but, sometimes life isn’t … fair at times.

Dwelling on the past isn’t healthy … it would be like … regurgitating your already eaten food up … rechewing it again … swallowing it. Who wants to do that?

Yes, I know when we are young we have to learn not … to live in the past. Once we get past that point … we have made some kind of peace inside and look forward … to living in the present.

I know very well the things that I came through in my own life … I had quite a time of learning to cope with ‘bad’ things that happened to me since being very little. So … it’s easier said than … doing it. Doing it means working at it even sometimes for … years.

The only thing from the past that bothers me are the deaths of all my family members … the worst being my only child … Tommy.

I don’t dwell on any of it … I just cope with the grief when it strikes like lightning …unexpectedly.

Then … I become a storm of tears and darkness until … I climb out of it like being in a dark cave … looking for the light to show me the way out.

Getting back to my flashback. Skip and I’ve always been people who care about others … when we used to have a lot we always shared … we always gave things to others we didn’t need, use … things that were well-taken care of and still looked new. We bought things … not the cheapest … to give. We never gave … trash.

We also, gave money to others unexpectedly … when we felt someone needed a little extra help … they never had to ask us. We would find a way of doing it so the person (s) would never know we were trying to make a way to do so without embarrassing them.

I wish those days were still here … we love to give … now, we are on a limited income. But … we still give, share. 🙂

We have always loved people … animals. You wouldn’t believe the things we have done for others through time … and I won’t go into it … why would I when we believe when one gives … you go on to let go once you do. When we use to travel … we made a difference in strangers’ lives.

Getting back to my flashback this morning … I don’t know ‘why?’ the vision came to my mind of seeing people we’d given a beautiful 52″ color tv to. The tv had never sat on the floor … it had wheels. We took care of it. We had updated to a flat-screen tv.

These people had seen our big-screen tv and wished for one like it. Being us … Skip and I always said when we got another tv … we would give it to those people … but … we wouldn’t tell them … we would just do it when the time came.

Time went on … and they got into a dispute with some of their relatives … they tried to get us to take sides. We wouldn’t … we cared about everyone. Time went on … we got our flat-screen tv … called them up … we were excited to see their faces when we gave them something they wished for so much.

Oh my … they were pure-thrilled to get that big-screen tv. They kept remarking on how new it looked … how beautiful the picture was … how it’d never sat on the floor … they were so happy. You would have thought they’d won a million dollars.

I can’t tell you how happy we were to … make them happy. That’s the whole thing … the biggest reward … that wonderful feeling of making a good difference in someone’s life.

Unless you are a giver … you won’t ever understand. If you are a giver … oh my … you know how wonderful it feels to bring a big old smile to someone’s face … eyes. How wonderful to see their faces … hear their excited voices … and know you helped to put it there. They talked about that big-screen tv for days.

Time went on … and their feud with their family grew bigger … these people tried to get Skip and me to take sides. Of course … we didn’t … we don’t like to be drawn into other people’s business nor their fights.

More time went by … these people began to act cool toward Skip and me … we lived beside them at that time. Oh … how it devastated Skip and I. It was like our hands were tied … no matter when they called us … they couldn’t understand why we wouldn’t choose ‘their side’. They couldn’t understand we weren’t like that … we loved everyone.

The day came … they packed up to move away. My flashback vision this morning was standing on the porch to wave at them.

They were putting the big-screen tv on the back of their pickup … looked up at me … I waved to them from the porch. They turned their heads … backs to me … no one ever waved back to me.

I have to be truthful here … though I don’t look back in the past often … this particular moment flashes back to me. The sun was shining … it was a beautiful day … when they didn’t wave back to me … I felt such pain in my Heart. I loved them … simple as that.

Waving to them … they saw me … turning their backs on me. No one ever waved back to me. I just hung my head … walked back into the house. I felt very sad.

The only time we ever heard from them was a phone call months later … wanting us to go to court to be on their side. Just like always … I told them we cared about all of them and we couldn’t do that. The whole feud was ‘silly’ … but, in their minds, it was a big thing. They ‘don’t see us’ when we meet once in a while in a store.

Have you ever waved to someone … they look straight at you … turn their backs to you? Did it hurt?

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Note by this Author:

This really happened … it did hurt both Skip and I. I know … I know … we can’t expect everyone to feel like we do. We cared about those people … this was at a time when we believed friendship would … last forever.

This was one of those times that taught us a life’s lesson … friendship doesn’t last forever with some people. Some people get what they want from you … after that … you don’t exist anymore.

We were and are … very private people … we never visited them. The man would call Skip sometimes. So … we never bothered them nor got into their life. They tried to get into our life … in gentle, firm ways … we wouldn’t allow that.

It’s okay now … it’s been years since this happened. I think of several things I was taught as a child (it is a wonder I was taught anything and just grew up to be a pure … wild-ass hellion!).

I was taught that familiarity breeds contempt. It’s very true … you don’t get so close that you tell everyone everything about yourself.

You don’t allow them into your home, personal life … you keep at least some of that from anyone. If you notice … when something happens another person will hurt, destroy your life if they can. Your private life goes to hell.

This is solely what I learned through time … and how I live. I don’t allow anyone to get close enough to me to know my most private life, thoughts, feelings.

I’m a loyal, true friend, good person … I mind my business and stay out of others’ lives. I’m best at being a ‘long-distance’ friend … one that won’t ever get into someone else’s life. Why? I RESPECT … CARE … that’s why.

I’m fortunate to grow up somehow to be a good person. I met a lot of good people through time … I guess somehow they became a part of me by the things I learned from them.

I shudder to think of ‘the things’ I could have done if I hadn’t been a good person inside … to begin with. I would be like some of the family I knew … ruthless, angry ready to destroy other lives … just plain damn mean … envious, hating … the fires of Hell burning inside … things I won’t even mention to anyone.

Truthfully … the flames of Hell burn in me … they were instilled in me as a little girl as each ‘bad’ thing happened to me that no child should have happen. I was a raging Hell-fire all through time until about age 28 (when Skip and I married).

I grew up to hate … be mean, spiteful, to destroy others … I was a most angry person with an awful chip on my shoulder … as a young woman, something in me was always trying to go forward to be as good as I could be as a person. I had a battle going on inside.

I found that when I did mean things toward others … I was the one who felt the pain! Is that amazing? I learned when I did good things to others … I felt so, so good inside.

My life growing up shaped me into that hateful, hating, angry person who hid everything with a sunshine smile. Thankfully … as a young woman … my smile became who I really was inside … a loving, caring, good person.

I have to say though … people have mistaken me being a good, caring … loving person through time meant I was … easy. They shouldn’t have done that because … the fires of Hell still burn in me and I never forgot how to get down and dirty to fight a battle. I grew up to be a fighter … a warrior. Of course, I don’t fight physically but … if need be …

I’m not proud of that … I’m proud I have learned to not be like that but, I do have a backbone of … steel. I don’t like to be pushed that far … but … it’s amazing to see someone’s face when they realized they underestimated me … and think they can get over on me.

It makes me sad when someone ever so often thinks because I care, smile … good to them … to think I’m … weak. I know what comes next … they begin to think they will take advantage of me. I have watched it play out until the number 3 … then … like my Grandma Alma taught me … I ‘nip it in the bud’.

Then … it hurts me just as much as having to hurt someone to show them I won’t be taken advantage of. I’m sure all of you have encountered such times in your own lives. Some people let others run over them … I’m not a doormat … I stop it.

This person may be a good person but … I never forget someone who hurts me … I forgive, never forget. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Part 1 through Part 16 is dedicated to my friend … Ms Nancy Smith Satterwhite to read while recovering from her surgery. I enjoyed writing for you, Ms Nancy. It’s been practice to begin writing once again. I am going to continue writing The Saga of Victoria Fairchild here on my Blog.

Photo taken/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Victoria left through the gap behind the huge rock. She walked slowly while listening. She would go back if she felt she needed to. Victoria finally came to the parking lot … stood for a time looking back the way she came.

She heard a huge whoosh … knew what it was. Tom had already called for firetrucks … the men were in the woods with the long hoses. There wasn’t anything she could do.

As Victoria drove away she saw barriers put up … signs saying Do Not Enter.

When Victoria got home she began taking off her shoes … clothes as she walked through the house. She wanted her shower … and she was going straight to bed. She would turn the news on the tv in the bedroom.

Soon Victoria was in the big king-size bed. She turned the news on. She sat up when she saw there was a big wildfire at Rainbow Mountain Park!

She watched as the cameras panned around … a journalist was talking to Tom. He was telling her that someone must have dropped a cigarette while in the woods on the trail. They would soon have the fire under control. Victoria watched as the fire was being reported.

As soon as the news went off … Victoria turned the tv off. She took several breaths … she fell asleep. Her last thoughts were of the vicious animal-people no one knew about. They were destroyed under the guise of a wildfire.

As her eyes closed she told herself that she would keep an eye on Rainbow Mountain Park.

Sometimes when we know something we can’t ever tell it … who would believe it anyway? By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

The End … Parts 1-16 are dedicated to my friend … Ms Nancy Smith Satterwhite to read while recovering from surgery. This gave me a chance to practice writing also. I intend to keep on writing my Victoria Fairchild Saga and let it be ongoing. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee. Dedicated to my friend … Nancy Smith Satterwhite to read while she recovers from surgery.

Photo owned/taken by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Everything became quiet … as Victoria walked into the woods. She was uneasy. She had been dreading the day when it was time to come back.

With Victoria’s special abilities she had to be here to help … to prevent loss of life. The officers would have no way of knowing what they were up against. Who ever heard of animal-people who ate other people?

Actually … Victoria felt a little afraid … something she wasn’t used to feeling. Even she didn’t know what would happen. She had to be very careful.

She heard faint sounds ahead the closer she got to the cave entrance. Growling? As she drew near … she blended into the shadows … she was the shadow.

There were five … no, ten animal people. They were adults. Victoria watched them slip into the woods in the opposite direction. Good! For a moment she was afraid they were going in the direction she’d come.

Victoria changed back to her physical form … walked to the entrance. She slipped behind the foliage that hid the entrance to the cave … began walking.

Soon … she was in the middle of the cave where a fire burned. Where was everyone? Victoria became a shadow again … she moved to the holes in the cave wall. There she saw sleeping animal-people … some with their young sleeping on the floor near them.

Victoria found a narrow tunnel … she followed it … hoping it was the exit. It twisted, turned until finally, it straightened into a hallway that led to a hole covered by a huge rock. Victoria saw a gap and went through it to the outside. The exit!

Instead of going back into the cave … Victoria began walking in the direction she hoped was the parking lot where Tom and his men were. She didn’t want to waste time going back through the cave.

Her instincts were right … she could hear talking in the distance. She was going to come out to the opposite side of the parking lot where the men were parked.

She walked up to Tom … told him all she saw. The officers had already blocked off the park … no one was allowed in. It was too dangerous … no one knew what to expect.

She saw red plastic containers lined up … gas. Tom told her they would set fire inside the cave … where the main living was done by the animal-people. They would spread gas from the main living quarters all the way to both entrance … exit. This was the plan.

Victoria would first guide Tom and half of the men to the entrance … come back … guide the remaining men to the exit. She would step back … let them do their work.

Victoria noticed one of the officers stepping away from the group. She kept her eye on him. It was dangerous to split up … there was safety in numbers.

He walked toward the trees. She saw him step behind one. Victoria had a bad feeling. Tom was still talking to his men as she turned to him. She wanted him to tell the men not to walk far from each other.

She heard a horrible scream come from the direction the officer had disappeared. Sounds of a violent struggle … growling, grunts … and the most awful sounds of a human being hurt.

Victoria saw the group she’d seen earlier when going to the cave. She ran up … she began shooting the animal-monsters one by one. The officers began shooting. Thank God they could be killed. They began falling to the ground.

The officer lay in a pool of blood. His arms had been ripped off … one leg was dangling by a piece of skin. He tried to moan … his lips had been bitten off. Victoria felt sick. She stood there as Tom tried to save him. The man took a deep breath … died looking up at Victoria. She saw the light go out of his eyes.

Tom called for an ambulance to come … not to use sirens. Soon … it came … loaded up the officer. Victoria watched as they picked up the half-eaten arms … placed them beside the body on the stretcher. One of the EMTs placed a sheet over the body. She watched as spots of blood formed on the sheet. Bloody polka dots on the sheet.

Tom gathered everyone back onto the parking lot. I don’t care who has to piss … you don’t step away from the others! I’ve lost one man … I don’t want to loose another one!

Victoria showed Tom and his men where the entrance was … she left to go back to the remaining men. Victoria would be happy to have this behind her.

Soon … Victoria and the men were at the exit … the men were going to make Victoria stay behind. She shook her head … I have to go ahead of you to let you know just before you get to the living quarters.

Victoria reached the center of the cave … she walked quickly back to the men to tell them the living quarters were about twenty feet away. The leader of the men told her to leave now … they would take care of the rest. Victoria couldn’t leave fast enough.

Like this:

Written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee … dedicated to Ms Nancy Smith Satterwhite while she recovers from her surgery.

Photo owned/taken by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

When one has a bad feeling … it’s best to listen to it … one knows something is going to happen … be it good … or bad. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Victoria grabbed a jacket … left to go to Tom Siddon’s office. She was curious to what his plan was. She knew she would play a big part in it.

She was glad Tom was good enough friends with her to know she had unusual abilities. This way she could do things to ensure the safety of his officers. She had a bad feeling.

Thirty minutes later had Victoria and Tom sitting in his office talking. Tom was ready to take a group of men to Rainbow Mountain Park the next day. He asked Victoria if she would ride with him.

He and Victoria talked about getting there before the men arrived … he knew Victoria had special abilities … in this case, she was going to have to use them. She could go into the cave without being seen.

Tom was amazed … cannibal people in today’s time. He’d talked it over with his superiors … they had no choice but to kill them. They couldn’t ever function in society.

It was agreed Victoria would go first in her special way … come back to report to Tom. They would decide then how the men would go in to kill the animal people. It would be like killing wild, dangerous animals … they were dangerous animals. Once that was done … a special crew would come in to begin digging, searching for bodies … bones.

Victoria left Tom’s office. She had a lot of thinking to do … Tom was picking her up at 5:00 am the next morning. Her mind was already working ahead on how she’d dress … the weapons she’d take with her. Victoria had a bad feeling.

Tom had decided to carry gas … they were going to trap the animal people in the cave … burn them to death. It was up to Victoria to go inside the cave once again … find the exit so, it could be blocked.

The next morning Victoria dressed in black … put her blonde hair up … donned a black hat. She had several small weapons in strategic places on her person … small but … lethal.

She walked outside to wait for Tom. Soon he came … they were on the way to Rainbow Mountain Park. Victoria knew she could take care of herself … she still had an uneasy sensation in the pit of her stomach. She … had a bad feeling.

Tom parked when they arrived … both got out of the pickup. Victoria would go ahead to scout … Tom would wait for his men to get there. Once Victoria reported back he would know where the exit was … send his men to seal it off. Another group of men would storm the entrance with gas … and set it ablaze … get out of there … seal the entrance so none of the animal people could get out.

Tom watched Victoria walk silently into the woods. He had given her a hand-held radio … she would leave it off unless she needed to relay something in a hurry. All he could do now … was wait.

Just as his hand grabbed her … Victoria whirled around like a tornado. The big man knew he was trouble. He’d never seen a person move so fast.

Victoria kicked him upside his head, whirled around … kicked him on the other side of his head. The hells of fire were burning in her!

The big man went down to pavement … moaning. Victoria stood over him … he went to get up … she kicked him in the chest. You bastard! Raping a little girl! I’m going to show you how to rape a little girl!

Victoria sat down on the man’s legs … began unzipping his trousers. The man began to cry … what are you doing? Victoria leaned so he could see her face … smiled sweetly … said I’m going to fix you so you won’t ever rape another child!

No! No! The man caught sight of something shiny … Victoria had a pair of scissors in her hand … the man began to scream. She slapped him … shut the fuck up you bastard! Victoria jerked his pants down … they were bloody from when he was on top of the child.

The man tried to fight her … Victoria stabbed him in his right arm. He kept trying to get her off him … Victoria stabbed in the other arm. God help me! The man was crying like a woman.

The pain made the man fight harder … Victoria jumped up. She was going to cut his penis off … castrate him. Now … he had to die.

She took her little pistol out … looked him in the eyes … die you bastard! She shot him in the center of his forehead. He died instantly.

Victoria stood over him for several minutes. She heard a sound near the dumpster … she narrowed her eyes … turned her head to see the little girl. Oh my … the child has seen everything! Victoria walked to the child …

She held her arms out to the little girl … for a moment she thought the child wouldn’t come to her. When she did … she ran into Victoria’s arm. Her little body trembled as Victoria held her tightly. Victoria told her she didn’t have to be afraid anymore … but … she couldn’t tell anyone what happened … only her parents.

The little girl told her she only had her mom. Victoria took her by the hand … asked the little girl her name. My name is McKenzie.

Victoria and McKenzie walked for a little ways … turned out of the alley to the right. They walked to a big cardboard box. A shopping cart sat outside. Mama! The little girl had begun to cry.

McKenzie’s mother slowly crawled out of the cardboard box. Victoria could tell the woman was fragile. She was so thin. She had blonde hair … very blue eyes, full lips. With a little weight she would be beautiful.

Victoria crawled into the box to sit with the mother to talk to her. The mother’s name was Earlene. Victoria related to her what had happened to the little girl. As she talked to Earlene … she watched how gentle she was with McKenzie.

McKenzie had laid down … put her head on her mother’s lap … Earlene’s gently stroked her little head. The little girl calmed down, fell asleep.

The homeless were used to seeing violence … bad things happened in their world. There wasn’t any law to protect them. No one cared about the homeless … if one died … who cared?

Earlene knew not to say anything to anyone. She was grateful to Victoria for saving her child.

As Victoria was preparing to leave … she reached in her deep pocket and pulled out a black pouch with a drawstring. She gave it to the mother … Earlene opened it … gasped.

In the black pouch was money in small bills. Victoria told her to put it around her neck … Earlene put it around her neck … let it fall inside her dress. Victoria had given Earlene $1,000.

Victoria asked Earlene would she and McKenzie want to leave this life. Earlene told her it wasn’t possible … they knew no other way of life. Earlene was born in the homeless world … so was McKenzie.

Victoria sat for several moments … thinking. Will you and McKenzie come with me? I can take you out of here … help you. If you don’t want to leave here … I can take you to a secret place to go if you ever felt afraid, unsafe or just to stay for a few days.

Victoria rescued homeless people sometimes. She would walk them to the building where she and Chip owned … when no one was looking … slip into the door by pressing a secret button. This was where she parked when she came to the homeless world.

The building had a big … closed parking area on the ground floor. No one could enter it from the front or the back excepting Victoria or Chip.

She also had a safe room built onto the building several years ago … for her homeless friends to go when they felt threatened. It had been some time since she’d taken someone there.

Earlene agreed to go to the secret place for a few days … for now, she and McKenzie would stay here where they knew their surroundings. Victoria told Earlene to think about leaving permanently.

It so happened later … Earlene and McKenzie decided to leave. Victoria had a house for them. Not only that she made sure their every need was provided for.

Victoria had hired 2 people to live in the house to help Earlene and McKenzie any way needed. That was 6 months ago … Earlene and McKenzie were thriving. They didn’t look like the same people who had come out of the homeless world.

The phone rang breaking Victoria’s thoughts. She answered it … it was Tom Siddons. He told her to come to his office … he had a plan.

Don’t mess with the homeless, innocent people … animals. There might be a Victoria Fairchild around. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

The days went by soon turning into 3 weeks. Victoria hadn’t heard from her old friend, Tom. She knew he believed, took her seriously. Victoria was getting restless … she knew it was just a matter of time before someone else died at Rainbow Mountain Park.

She heard a familiar sound … a big truck coming down the driveway. Chip was home! Victoria ran outside to greet him. She missed her husband when he was away for weeks at a time.

Chip parked the big rig … sat for a few minutes, turned the key off. He was glad to see his beautiful wife. He opened the door … stood on the top step to stretch. God, he was stiff … he had been driving for 4 hours straight.

Chip came down the aluminum steps … walked toward Victoria. They were the perfect match … he was as handsome as she was beautiful. Not only that … they were known to be good, kind-hearted people. Everyone loved Victoria and Chip.

He wrapped his arms around her, held her close. There wasn’t anything he loved more than his wife. His dogs came next.

Victoria and Chip had 3 dogs … two of which were rescue dogs. The Dukester was a sweet pit bull dog they had rescued off a big, heavy-ass chain. Victoria was working to leash-train him … and to make all 3 dogs be friends. It seemed impossible but, she knew it would get better. He was a white pit bull with soft brown spots. Victoria and Chip had a live-in hired man, woman to take care of everything so they could come, go freely. The man was working with The Dukester, also.

Kissy was their Rottie. He was also, a very sweet pup. Kissy was like a big teddy bear. He danced, wiggle-waggled all the time. Kissy wasn’t a rescue pup, they’d bought him as a little puppy from someone who bred Rotties.

Camie was their only female pup. She was the boss. She was an Aussie Blue Heeler.

For the next week Chip and Victoria stayed close … they went … did everything together. They were inseparable. They shopped … went dancing … swimming. The week flew by in a whirlwind. Happy days for both.

Sometimes … Victoria went with Chip on the truck. She used to work at a hospital in the office until one day Chip told her to take off her high heels, pretty dresses and go to truck-driving school. Victoria did just that.

Driving a big truck was a wonderful experience. Victoria learned to drive in the mountains in the western states. Mountains where one looked down … houses looked like matchboxes. Mountains so high she could follow the rainbows with her eyes down into the tiny trees where they ended. It was breathtaking … exhilarating.

She wouldn’t trade her experience for anything. Victoria also had a motorcycle endorsement on her CDL license. She learned to drive a motorcycle as a young girl. She never mentioned to anyone the things she could do … everyone thought she was … just a girly-girl. No one knew how tough Victoria could be … she was THE force to be reckoned with.

Victoria thought back to the days she was hunting for a serial killer. That was the one time she met her match. He was very cunning, wily … sharp as a shiny butcher knife. He injured her badly. She made a mistake thinking he was normal.

The serial killer had been going into the homeless population that began behind Chip’s and Victoria’s building in the city. When Victoria would go … undercover in her homeless garb … she met with her friends to find out how all was going.

She learned there was a … homeless man who wore expensive cologne … coming in to rape women … murdering when he was finished. No one knew where the man came from. They knew when he was there … no one wore cologne in their world. He could be smelled a mile away.

No one messed with the homeless people. Victoria loved them and she protected them. Victoria did things she had to do … including killing to rid the homeless of bad people. No one knew … they were always happy to hear when a bad person who had tortured them … was gone permanently.

Yes, the serial killer almost ended her life. She did … end his life. He’d never rape, murder a homeless woman again. He used the homeless for his desires … leave … come back when he wanted more. The homeless were nobody … everyone knew that. He used their bodies for his own sadistic needs … tossed them aside.

She didn’t want to think about him anymore. The memories of what he did to her … how her special abilities failed her when she needed them most … made her feel nauseous.

Her mind moved on to the day while walking as an old, homeless woman with a scarf around her head … covering most of her face … this was how she could observe, hear things. Her dress was worn … full of holes. Underneath it was a tattered slip with torn lace. The sleeves reached her wrist … the dress down to her ankles. It used to be blue … turned into a faded blue-whitish garment.

Victoria could see in her mind the old sneakers she had on. They didn’t look like much but … those shoes were solid. They were a good pair of shoes that no one would look at twice … she had made them look old. It was important she dress to blend in her surroundings. Not only that … dress … for action. Sometimes, Victoria had to take care of business … just as she did on this particular day.

She was walking when she heard crying in one of the alley ways. Victoria felt alarmed … someone … a child? was being harmed. Victoria became angry with the fires from hell in her … burning brighter and brighter … the closer she got to the crying.

Victoria heard a man’s gruff voice telling someone to … open them damn legs! She heard him grunting … she heard a muffled scream. Victoria moved faster toward the dumpster where the sounds were coming from.

As she rounded the dumpster an awful sight met her eyes. A little blonde-headed girl of about eight years old was fighting for her life as a big, brawly homeless man was trying to rape her.

Her panties had been ripped off … her dress laying nearby. The bastard was trying to put himself in her. He was ripping the little girl apart. Blood was pooling around the child’s hips. Pure white anger boiled up inside Victoria.

Hey! Hey you! Victoria walked up the big man … he never heard her in his lust-driven thrusts. Victoria smacked the hell out of him … he shook his head coming out of his trance. What the fuck!

Come on big boy … you want to play? Victoria was going to take care of his ass. The little girl crawled away while picking up her panties, dress. She crawled into a corner … no longer crying … her eyes wide open. She knew the woman was going to die.

The big man got to his feet. He had a thunderous expression on his face. Who in the fuck are you?

Victoria … smiled. The smile enraged the big man … he charged at her. Victoria was lightening-fast … she moved quickly to the opposite side where the big man had stood. He shook his head … in disbelief. What the hell?

He turned to look at her with murder in his eyes. I’ll kill you … you little bitch! Victoria … smiled. The big man charged once again … Victoria stood in the very spot where he charged from. The man pulled a knife out of his pocket … the sun glinted off the big blade … shiny, sharp.

Victoria wasn’t afraid … she smiled. She reached into her pocket … slowly took a gun out … raised it at him. Get down on your knees you bastard! You want to rape a little girl … I’ll show you rape!

The big man wasn’t intimidated by Victoria. Who in the fuck did this little bitch think she was? He’d kill her damn ass!

Victoria let him get within 3 feet of her … shot him calmly in his right foot. The big man squalled out like a woman … became so angry that his eyes were bulging out of his head. Kill! Kill! was his only thought.

He lunged toward Victoria to grab her by the throat. Victoria never moved … she shot him in the other foot. The big man went down. Victoria didn’t want to kill him … yet. He needed to know he was going to die for raping one of her people … homeless people. No one hurts homeless, innocent people … animals on her watch.

The big man sat up in a daze. Victoria slapped him several times. He tried to fight … Victoria let him get a second breath. She was patient … she stood in front of him with a little smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. She wasn’t finished with him yet.

Her attention was distracted … the little girl stood up. She had put her torn clothes on. Victoria wanted to hug her. She nodded for the little girl to run … she didn’t want her to witness what happened next.

The little girl ran like a bat out of hell. Victoria sensed movement from the big man … he had jumped up to tackle her. Just as his hand grabbed her …

To be continued …

Note by this Author:

Each character speaks for themselves in their own words … I just write them as I hear them in my mind. They are themselves … just as I am myself.

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My precious son and grandson … I miss you with my very Heart. I know you can’t come back … but, it doesn’t stop me from wishing it so. Photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

I thought I’d written all the pain away. It came back and was bigger than me. I couldn’t run from it. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

3 Days of Pure Grief ….

A mother’s grief … never goes away. It is always … there.

No matter how she pretends everything is alright … it really isn’t.

Grief is like sweeping dust under the rug … it’s always there.

If one keeps sweeping dust under the rug … never getting rid of it … it builds up.

I am speaking for myself. I pretend only so long … push back my real feelings never sharing or talking about them.

Why do I do that? So as not to make others sad … dread to see a grieving mother. People love when I smile all the time … they smile back.

I’m a private person … I never talk about my real feelings to a person. I can write my pain.

As much as I’ve written … this weekend showed me that I never wrote all the pain away.

For 3 days I have spiraled out of control with grief and pure anger at the death of my son. Where did it all come from? I thought I had coped with it.

I told Skip it was like the doors of Hell opened and the fire was raging inside me. I haven’t been easy to live with to say the least.

Grief is an awful thing. Holidays when families gather … are the worse times.

I thought I had my grief under control after 6 years … the past 3 days have been pure Hell … one of the worse times since Tommy died.

The bad thing is the grief was bigger than me … and it was all … contained inside of me. I couldn’t get up and leave from it … no matter where I went it was still inside. It was worse than my words can say.

I couldn’t run away from myself … I had nowhere to run to. All I could do was rage, cry … become a storm … a really bad storm. I’m not proud of that.

I promised when I first began writing my grief that I would share the very real grief when it struck. I’m keeping my promise.

I don’t know that anyone can learn anything from what I have just written. One can see grief doesn’t ever go away …. one can’t see the pain a grieving mother hides with a smile.

The strange thing is that I can hide my pain well … I was around people we know … they never suspected the storm raging inside me. I couldn’t wait to get to myself to quit pretending.

This morning … I got up with a smile and a peaceful feeling in my Heart. I’m okay now. I weathered this terrible storm … it almost got the best of me.

I’m like a redwood tree … scarred, weathered … I’m still standing. Grief either makes you strong or breaks you. I am determined to be strong.

I’ve accepted Tommy’s death … I know he can’t come back. I’m a most realistic person … I cope with what I can’t change until I can.

None of this matters when a mother misses her child … his voice, laughter, silly jokes … pranks. None of it matters when she wishes to see his sweet face … sweet, sunshine smile.

When holidays come … a grieving mother may not seem to notice when families get together … their children come to visit. I promise they notice … they wish so much to see their own child.

A grieving mother pretends everything is good … she wants all to be good.

Inside her Heart … she sees/feels the hugs other mothers’ children give them … a son or daughter kiss on the cheek …. a ‘I love you, mama’. It triggers in her what she has tried to hide from herself. She used to be a mother … she’ll never get another smile, hug … kiss from her child. She’ll never get another ‘I love you, mama’ from her child. It’s all gone … forever.

There’s nothing beautiful, happy I can write about grief. I can only write it as it really is. Only a mother can know what the loss of her child feels like.

I’m so glad to be okay today. This bout of grief lasted 3 days. I couldn’t seem to shake it.