Mr. Coffee Nerves:She's going to translate James Joyce and Anthony Burgess into what she imagines English to be, and, if you point a camera at her, she'll do it while wearing a burning tire around her neck.

I wonder if James Joyce starts to sound like "See Spot run..." when she reads him aloud.

Diogenes:Mr. Coffee Nerves: She's going to translate James Joyce and Anthony Burgess into what she imagines English to be, and, if you point a camera at her, she'll do it while wearing a burning tire around her neck.

I wonder if James Joyce starts to sound like "See Spot run..." when she reads him aloud.

Naw, it'll be a lot of stuttering and sounding things out FO-NET-TIK-ILL-LEE.

she could do that thing where she fills a giant room/vault with all of her money and then dive in it. then when she recovers from her broken neck, fox news will feel bad and offer her another contract.

I know, just the first thing I thought of. I wanted to have some sort of Bright Sarah accompanying text below it, but I couldn't think of anything insipid enough. What kind of scheme could she help the guys with - fleecing the rubes out of fame-whore money?