Dildos are the big do it to yourself in your own way type of sex toy. Unlike vibrators, a dildo will not move by itself. The truth is that it will not do anything that you do not make it do. Which, you can’t really say that a dildo is limited by human form. The fact is that one of the best things about dildos is that they actually come in a variety of sizes and shapes that no human on earth does. With all of these types of options, you would believe that a dildo would come with an instruction manual, but they do not.

Luckily, this is what this is for.

You’ve got my attention

Before you use a dildo

1. Start with picking the right dildo for you.

Just because a dildo does what you make it do and it does not have any other type of motion on its own, picking the right dildo will be a key point to using it. If you get a dildo that is too big and no matter just how committed or excited that you are, it will not work. If you happen to pick a shape or color that just turns you off, you may find it hard to actually use the dildo. If you are unsure about what type of size you want, then think about the things that you have used before such as penises, fingers, washed vegetables, hair brushes, etc. If you are using a dildo because you have not had penetrated sex, then it is best that you begin with your fingers, if it is possible or a very small toy if you cannot.

2. Lube is required

You’ll need lube

You will always need to use lubricants with any type of sex toy when it comes to penetration. A great choice is using a water based lubricant which works for many. If you happen to be using a dildo that is made from silicone, then be sure that you do not use a silicone based lubricant. You will want to put lubricant inside and outside of your body as well as on the toy. Many toy lubricants are a bit thicker, so it won’t slide right off your toy. You may need to apply more lubricant at some point during your play time.

3. Use a condom on your toy

If you use condoms on your toys, you will reduce your chances of having an allergic reaction to your dildo material as well as it makes cleaning up so much easier. Condoms are also best if you are using your toy for vaginal and anal use or if you believe that you may share your dildo.

4. Picking Anal or Vaginal Dildos

Pick a dildo that you like the look of. It might even be a rainbow unicorn dildo!

You can use all dildos for vaginal use, but there are only some dildos that will be safe for anal use. Those that are meant for anal use will be seamless and smooth and will also have a flared base that will prevent them from slipping into the rectum. You should not use the same dildo in your anus as you do your vagina unless you are using condoms. If you’re new to anal, check out my guide to anal. If you’re new to anal, you have to work up to it, try some anal beads if you’re just starting out with anal play.

5. Inspect the Dildo

Before you ever use your dildo, you will need to take it out of the package and wash it quite well using a toy wash and then check it over carefully. You will need to look for sharp edges or tears. If your dildo is supposed to be waterproof, then look for any pieces missing or holes within the body of your dildo. If you notice anything wrong with it, then return your dildo before you use it.

Actually using a dildo

1. Beginning to use a dildo on your own

Even if you plan to use a dildo with your partner, then it is always best to try out the dildo on yourself on your own first. You will be less self conscious and you will be able to concentrate on how it feels without being distracted by your partner. You want to be sure that you have time and enough privacy before you decide to get down to business.

2. Turning yourself on

Before you try your dildo, you are going to need to turn yourself on like you would do without a dildo. If you are feeling distracted or awkward, it may make penetration much more difficult, so you will need to be relaxed and turned on so that your first time with a dildo will be much smoother.

3. Start out slow

Before you put the dildo inside of you, test out its feel on the outside of your body. You can use it to massage and stimulate your external parts such as nipples, anus, vulva and labia. You should think of it like teasing yourself and building yourself up to being penetrated. Once you start to use the dildo, you want to be sure that you are starting out slow. Take notice to how it feels and how different it is than using your hand or someone else for penetration.

4. Playing with Speed and Rhythm

Once you have gotten comfortable using your dildo, you can begin to experiment with various speeds and rhythms. The great thing about a dildo is that it will do what you want it to so it won’t get a leg cramp or get tired and you can start and stop when you want. You should be able to notice the difference between steady and slow movement and erratic and fast movement. Learn what you like and see what works best for you. Take mental notes and then share it with your partners in the future.

5. Adding Clitoral Stimulation

If your clitoris is within hands reach, then you may find that adding a bit of stimulation there while you are using a dildo will really change the whole feeling for you. Many women enjoy this and although it requires a bit of coordination, the effort is worth it in the end. You can also use a bullet vibe for clitoral stimulation when using a dildo.