10 myths about dating too many people believe

If you just went on a date, wait three days before texting or
calling. If you're fighting, you're toast. If it's over, write
down your feelings.

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Unfortunately, if you dig into the science behind dating and
romance, you'll learn that many of these rules are based on
complete misconceptions.

Below, we've busted 10 of the most common myths and explained why
they're totally wrong.

Myth: You can't make yourself more attractive

Hold off on the cosmetic surgery - scientists say beauty isn't
just a function of your appearance.

In fact, the difference between
looking hot or not can be as simple as the color of your
shirt, whether you own a pet, or your musical ability.

To heterosexual women, certain personality traits can be even
more meaningful than a man's physical attractiveness.

Myth: Men don't like when women ask them on a date

Dating site Match
told Business Insider that straight women initiate only 18%
of emails between straight women and straight men on Match.

If that's because those women are afraid of coming off too
strong, here's a wake-up call: Another Match survey found that
90% of American men (not just Match users) say they'd be
comfortable with a woman asking them out.

source

Flickr / Vancouver Film School

Myth: Just journaling your thoughts can help you get over a
breakup

A tear-stained notebook page isn't necessarily the solution to
getting over your ex.

In fact, a
2012 study found that simply writing about your thoughts
surrounding a breakup can make you feel worse than when you
started.

For example, one person in the study who wrote in a
redemptive-narrative style said, "'I am really sad that we broke
up, but maybe it's for the best. I am better off without somebody
who doesn't treat me right."

Myth: When you're interested in someone, it's best to make your
feelings clear

We're all adults here - can't you just tell someone you're
interested and ask if they are, too?

Not quite. Multiple studies suggest that
playing hard-to-get when you first meet someone can be an
effective way to entice them.

For example, one
2014 study found that men liked women more when the women
acted disinterested in them - but only if the men felt committed
to the women in the first place.

The weirdest part? Even though the men wanted the women
more when they played hard-to-get, they liked those
women less.

Myth: Over the course of a relationship, you get to
know everything about your partner

After dating someone for a couple of years, you might feel
like you know everything about them: what kind of toothpaste they
use, which TV series they guiltily binge-watch, which foods
nauseate them.

According to a 1997
study, couples who had been together longer expressed
more confidence in how well they knew each other. But as it turns
out, relationship length wasn't related to accuracy.

Even when participants had to guess how their partners
would rate themselves on intelligence, athleticism, and
attractiveness, they were only right about 30% of the
time.

source

Ian Gavan/Getty Images

Myth: Women are more romantic than men

In 2011, researchers learned that people generally think
women are the first to confess their love in a heterosexual
relationship.

But when the researchers asked people to recall who had said "I
love you" first in their relationship, it turns out
it was men - about three-quarters of the time.

Meanwhile, a 1989 study
found that men were more likely than women to believe in love at
first sight and to idealize their partner and relationships.

Myth: Nice guys finish last

We'll give you the bad news first:
Research suggests that, when it comes to flings,
nonaltruistic (read: less nice) guys have the edge.

But if you're looking for something serious, go ahead and
flaunt the fact that you volunteer at a homeless shelter or tutor
elementary school students. That same study found that altruism
is a desirable trait in a long-term partner - even more desirable than good looks.

Myth: It's best to wait a while before responding
to your crush's text

We get it that you don't want to come off as too eager, or
worse, desperate. But leaving your date to wonder if you've
fallen off the face of the earth probably isn't doing you any
favors.

As Tech Insider's Sarah Kramer reported, researchers in one study looked at 182,000 messages on an
online dating site and found that for every day that passed
between the first message and the response, the chance of getting
a response back from the initiator dropped by about 0.7%.

source

TrinDiego/flickr

Myth: Conflict means your relationship is heading south

Conflict is an inevitable part of any romantic relationship - but
it only signals trouble ahead if you feel like your partner
doesn't get you.

As former Tech Insider correspondent
Drake Baer reported, a 2016 study
found that the more often couples argued, the worse they felt
about the relationship, unless they felt that they
understood each other.

Myth: Opposites always attract

People do tend to prefer faces dissimilar to theirs - but only if
they're currently unattached.

That's according to a recent, small
study reported
in Gizmodo, which found that people who were in relationships
didn't rate faces that looked similar to theirs as any less
attractive than faces that looked different.

The researchers say that singles might be concerned about the
possibility of inbreeding, while those who are already partnered
up might be more interested in friendship.