Why You Need To have Self-Compassion to be Balanced

How Does a Balanced Woman Feel?

When I think about someone who’s balanced, I think of a poised woman whose clothes match *gasp!* and who seems calm and “together.” She’s relaxed about her life and isn’t constantly complaining or beating herself up. She’s balanced.

When I picture her going about her day, I picture this woman being kind, not only to those around her, but also to herself.

She doesn’t constantly berate herself, call herself bad names, or feel like a failure. Instead, she goes about her life knowing she’s doing the best she can. If she makes a mistake, she figures a way to solve it

Being balanced (or better balanced) has a lot to do with our emotional state. When we’re constantly frazzled and down on ourselves and our lives, we don’t feel balanced.

How Do We Become Balanced?

One of the most important ways to become balanced is to change the way you talk to yourself.

You may think that this involves improving your self-esteem, but I have a wonderful secret to share with you. To become more balanced, you just need to change that critical voice in your head, not your self-esteem.

This is great news because improving your self-esteem is really hard. (If anyone knows to do this, I’m sure they’d be a zillionaire!) However, changing how you to talk to yourself is much easier.

Anyone can do it, it just takes practice, awareness, and intention.

How much Negative Chatter is in our heads?

According to Psychology Today, about 70% of the chatter in our minds is negative. 70%!!! That’s a lot of negativity. How many of those thoughts are about yourself?

Imagine a life where you don’t beat yourself up? If you make a mistake and instead of rehashing that mistake, you forgive yourself?

It’s possible!

The Answer is Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is how to talk to yourself when things are rough. If things go wrong, do you blame yourself and tear yourself to shreds? Or do you talk to yourself the way your best friend would talk to you?

Kristin Neff, the author of the book Self-Compassion, and one of the most well-known writers about the topic, defines one of the core components of self-compassion as Self Kindness. She explains that self-kindness is being gentle and understanding with yourself rather than being critical and judgmental.

Wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing?

The next time you forget to send in your kid’s permission slip or burn dinner, imagine being kind to yourself.

The easiest way to teach yourself to be self-compassionate is to pretend that you’re talking to a best friend.

If your best friend burned dinner, what would you say to her? Start saying those very same things to yourself!

If this is a topic you’d like to explore more, I’d suggest reading the following two books on self-compassion.

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Welcome, friend!! My name is Rina and I believe that all Moms can have more balance in their lives, and it doesn't take a huge life overhaul to do it! I'm a Mom to two amazing girls, wife, full-time employee, and a daily juggler of all things. Join me so I can show you how little baby steps can help you create a more balanced, joyful life. Read More…