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Thursday, July 22, 2010

What does the Korean think about Yellow Fever?

Dear Korean,

Do you think there is a growing trend of white male/Asian female couplings? If so, could they possibly have stemmed from anything other than traditional notion of love? My personal view is that most of white male/Asian female coupling was heavily influenced by innate sense of inferiority that some Asians tend to display towards Caucasians and mass manipulation by the media. As a Korean male, what is your stance on this subject?

Concerned Korean Teenager

Dear Concerned,

Your concern is valid to some extent. There is no denying that the media tends to fetishize Asian women, and some non-Asian men certainly gravitate toward Asian women in particular because of their image, rather than the women as persons. A litany of examples can be seen in the following article by Vickie Chang on OC Weekly:

By the time we've reached adulthood, most Asian American women have experienced so many episodes of Asiaphilia that it becomes something we laugh about over dinner. There was the time that one smooth-talking (and way too short—I hope you're reading this) guy from LA Weekly's marketing department asked me where I was from.

"Los Angeles," I said.

"No, really, where are you really from?"

There was the 20-year-old UCI economics major who swears that Asian women's vaginas "feel different somehow—very smooth and naturally lubricated." Or the guy who sauntered up to me and asked, "You must be great with a chopstick, huh?" Wink, wink.

It pisses us off—no, I don't want to see your killer Chinese-character tat; it probably doesn't mean what you think it means—but we're not sure what we can do but laugh.

"It's been happening so long I just let it roll off my back," Christina says. "I used to have a mouthful for every guy, but they'd just laugh at me and say, 'Oh, she's a feisty one!'"

...

The overwhelming ratio of males with Asiaphilic attraction to females suggests that this fetishization isn't based on looks alone. Asiaphiles are looking for authority in their romantic relationships, premeditated or not.

This issue moved out of the theoretical and into the personal when I dated a white boy I met in college.

"Do you like boba," he asked me.

"I don't."

"Ever visited the Japanese Garden at Huntington Library?"

"I have, but I prefer the Shakespeare Garden."

"Ever read The Art of War?"

I was devastated. Couldn't he see I was into the same things he was—Dostoevsky, early '90s shoegazer music and Indian food?

The more messed up part is that some Asian American women explicitly refuse to date Asian American men based on superficial qualifications also, like this poor deluded soul:

You know you are really at the bottom of the heap when Tyra Bank serves as a voice of wisdom for you.

The examples that the Korean outlined above are clear displays of racism, almost in its purest form. These people make a pre-judgment that characterizes an entire race, and proceed to apply that racial pre-judgment to individuals. One can hardly think of a better definition of racism than that.

The Korean wishes he could say those examples are isolated, but they are not -- if you are an Asian American, you have all seen these types at least once or twice in your life. And it is deeply distressing that such blatant racism may carry on like this.

But at the same time, the Korean thinks that there are countervailing considerations about this topic that are not discussed as often. As much as the Korean despise the dumb racists, the entire thing needs to be put in context.

More after the jump.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

The countervailing considerations are based on a simple recognition -- there are many, many Asian/non-Asian couples in the world, and it is not possible that all of them are motivated by racism of the kind discussed above. And it is deeply unfair if every Asian/non-Asian couple should receive a dirty look based on the idea that one or both of them is/are racist.

Consider the nature of attraction and love. We all have our "types" of what we want in our romantic interest, and for the most part, having a certain type is not a conscious process. We generally tend to develop our types through influences that we do not even realize at the time when our types are being developed. And when we go look for our romantic interest, it is not as if we jot down our types on a checklist and automatically eliminate those people who do not meet the criteria.

For example, after about 15 years of women-gazing, the Korean realized that he consistently turned his head for tall women. (And sure enough, the Korean Wife is 5' 9".) How the Korean developed this preference is a total mystery. All he knows is that whenever he was looking to speak to a group of women of roughly equal attractiveness, he always gravitated toward the tallest one. (One side effect of this was that it made the WNBA surprisingly watchable for the Korean, especially when Candace Parker is playing.)

Regardless of what you think about WNBA,

you gotta admit that Candace Parker is pretty hot.

Because the way we develop our types is not clearly understood, it is plausible that the development of our types, as well as the application of our types in real-life situations, involve a racial element. It is plausible that when a non-Asian guy decides to hit on an Asian girl, a racial stereotype may have played some subconscious role (the extent to which is unknown) in that decision. Likewise, when an Asian girl decides to reciprocate on the attention and chats up the non-Asian guy, another racial stereotype may have played some subconscious role (again, to what extent, no one knows,) in that decision. In fact, given the abundance of racial stereotypes in our society and the relative abundance of a non-Asian man/Asian woman pairing (which is consistent with the stereotypes,) it is a fair guess they likely involve a racial element to some extent.

Now, the important part: there is nothing wrong with our subconscious playing this role, because we cannot control our subconscious. The problem begins when the racial element rises to the surface of our consciousness, is considered in a deliberate manner, and then is nonetheless employed in practice -- like Gina Choe, who explicitly rejected all Asian American men on a national television based on the stupid idea that Asians are short. (Puh-leeze. The Korean is 6' 1".) At that point, the racism should be considered blameworthy. But the Korean is certain that if we Asian Americans took a sober look at our experience, we will see that while the overt racists may exist in numbers enough to annoy us, they do not constitute a majority or even a significant minority.

Mind you, the Korean is not saying that subconscious racism is not a problem in general. It would be ideal if we could suppress our subconscious racism as well, because even subconscious racism eventually results in real discrimination. But at least in this context, the fact that racial stereotypes operate subconsciously is not a big problem. Whom to date and love is one of the most private decisions we can ever make. Overt racism in the dating context is misguided and ignorant, because it makes one treat one's partner as a projection of racial prejudice rather than as a real person. But racism that may or may not operate at the depth of our minds that we do not even realize, much less control? That's something else.

(As an aside, it's not even that difficult to see if the potential romantic partner is approaching you based on conscious racism, since -- as seen in above examples -- these people tend to reveal their racism rather quickly.)

We must also consider the demographic that is not very often represented in this topic -- Asian American women. Sure, there are tons of discussions about what Asian American women think, particularly among Asian American (and mostly young) men. But how often do we directly hear from Asian American women who are engaged in interracial relationships? And why should anyone else second-guess the choice of dates that Asian American women make? If a stupid racist Asian girl ends up dating a stupid racist non-Asian guy, that's a match made in heaven and the world is a better place for that.

In fact, much of the discussion about yellow fever does not amount to much more than frustrated ventings of Asian American young men who have trouble finding dates, trying to figure out why. If you fall into that group, allow the Korean to tell you right now -- it has less to do with race than you think. (The Korean's inbox is overflowing with emails from women asking how they might attract Korean guys!) Take it from the guy who just recently finished his dating career: in not-too-distant future, you will look back and laugh about how trivial these things were.

Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at askakorean@gmail.com.

1. Specifically about Korean men, are there any specific South Korean economic factors causing South Korean men to find it hard to attract South Korean women? Can we apply this to Asian-American men and women?

2. Every time I talk to South Korean men about women, they talk about the right girl, etc. and never about a real woman I've ever met. It's always some exalted moral vision of a mother figure. They always eschew any discussion of sex or any topic women might actually discuss with each other about men when practicing English with women in class. They talk a lot about naughtiness and bad girls.

BTW, I have always liked dark brunettes, including latinas, African-Americans and Med types. It was a toss-up between Greek and Korean women. I just don't buy the submissive thing. My wife is not submissive, she's downright scary. I think it's just another tactic to deal with machoistic South Korean men looking for a second mom.

When I was younger I had trouble dating other Asians too. Later I realized that the reason I kept getting shot down was because I was going after Asian American females who were clearly not into Asian guys. It just makes sense that a girl who listens to Korean music and hangs out with Korean people is probably going to be be more interested in a Korean guy than say an adopted Asian girl living with a Polish family who listens to death metal. :/

Anyway, that's all besides the point, what I wanted to share was an article written by the guys behind OkCupid on how your race effects message response rates: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

Ever since spending some time living and working in Korea I've come under the belief that our subconscious (or not so subconscious) racial preferences are heavily media-related. I'm sure the fella' behind http://thegrandnarrative.com/ would agree.

I was in a relationship with a Chinese boy for 2.5 years as a caucasian girl I found that this asian male/ white female pairing to be rather rare. I do have concern for WM/AF couples if they are older but I find younger couples don't suffer too much form this inferiority thing.

1. As an ABC female, I've had more than my share of "China Doll", "Mamasan" & "Where are you really from?" in my lifetime.

2. Because of bullet #1, I often assumed that non- Asian men thought I was going to provide the female part of some bullshit Madame Butterfly fantasy.

3. I met my partner and he loves me in ways that I know have nothing to do with race.

4. My partner knows that loving me comes with having to deal with me complaining about "his people" (aka white people) and understanding that it does not mean I hate white people but rather the existence of white privilege.

Bottomline: There are creeps who only see the external and crave to live out a porno but there are people who love each other because of the person and not because of the color.may191979

Can't help but sound like a dumb biatch on syndicated television, huh?

Also, she wasn't smart enough to realize that a lot of black women (for which the mother'fing host is a part of) can understand what it's like to be at the bottom end of the dating totem pole because of their race.

I've met a lot of girls like Gina. In fact, I realize they're like that when they find out I'm a white girl that often likes Asian guys. I either get 2 reactions:

"Eww WHYYYYYY? He'll hit you/has a small dick/blahblahblah"

and from one girl a huge tirade about how I was an evil person who was using her people.

And then they'll turn around and complain about racism later! I get the feeling the asker is similar to those people because of his assumption that "most" WM/AF relationships are based on racism. I'm glad he has had the opportunity to meet "most" of these couples so he can share this riveting information with us. I wonder what fun ideas he'll come up with about WF/AM couples.

The second comment was specifically from a Korean American girl that wanted only a Korean bf because they "were more romantic than American men, held your bags and paid for your stuff." Armed with this... knowledge she still managed to get pissed when I got a Korean bf, saying I was a racist, yellow fever ridden individual that was "using her people." It's funny how using the word racism can make a person feel like they're in the right.

I'm curious, has The Korean seen an increase in non-Asian females with Asian men? I see those couples all over the place now, and more and more girls seem interested. It maybe just be the area I live in, but I get that impression.

I dated a Japanese boy in college for two years. The reason we started dating, or stopped, was not our race but to say race played no part in the paring would be a lie. What ever racial motivation there was was mutual. I was fascinated by him for the same reason he was fascinated by me, exoticism. I loved traveling to Asia and enjoyed the culture and, well as much difficulty as he had communicating, it was not hard to figure out in the span of two years that he had a thing for blond haired blue eyed European women. He was also fascinated by Christianity and I was a Christian so he was curious to learn about it. He eventually became a Christian, not my type of a Christian but a Christian none the less.

There are many reasons people pick their mates and no matter who you are it feels terrible to realize that a person not only was attracted to you based on your looks, which is fine. But has apparently formed some pre-conceived offensive conclusions about you before they get to know you. I get that from men of all races, and depending on how I dress, even from women on occasion. It makes you feel devalued and less of a human.

There are usually two types of WM/AF relationships. Normal ones (which I think are the majority) and abnormal ones (based on racism, or other factors.)

In Korea, there's a third type. And that's a case of both parties not knowing any better. Meaning by Asian standards the woman is ugly, and by U.S. standards the guy probably wasn't getting much back home.

In Korea, instantly he's percieved as hot by Korean girls who couldn't get Korean guys, and He thinks that the girls are hot, cuz he doesn't know better.

I know I'm generalizing, but usually within minutes of meeting the couples you can know which type they are... and even if u can discern that it's NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS anyway.

As a white guy I want to throw my hat into the ring with some experiences with white male Asian Studies majors.

The Korean is correct about almost everything said, from how creepy white guys can be to how absurd Koreans can be about the same topic; I speak Korean and studied Korea in college, but unlike a lot of died in the wool white Asian studies majors, most of my friends were Korean guys. Still, during my college years I had the misfortune to meet other white guys studying Korea. They're the type of people never really met a Korean and spend all day watching translated Korean dramas and listening to Girls Generation. The white guys who usually are the worst when it comes to yellow fever are the ones who have had the least contact with Asians. They conjure up bizarre rationalizations like the Korean explained, down to vividly sexual ones, all to materialize their fascination with Asian girls. It's really pretty creepy.

I still feel really repelled from Asian Studies to this day thanks to my white colleagues, who turn a general interest in another culture into a fetish. That's where I think the real problem is; when you let your interest in something dictate something as intimate as your sex life and romantic preferences.

Anyway, I just want to show that even some white guys are really repelled by the Chinese character tattooed yellow fever white guys, it's not all Korean Americans hating on them, and it shouldn't be.

I've had this discussion with a few friends. I read somewhere on the interweb that Black men and Asian women date/marry outside of their race most often. Comparatively, black women and asian men date outside their race least frequently.

In the black community, women often are discontent with their dating options when "others" are "taking" all the good black men. I've often wondered if that same discontent exists in the general Asian community.

I'm an adopted Korean woman, who has never been terribly attractive, and therefore not overburdened with attention from men of any race. But...my experiences have been thus:-In HS, Asian boys were intensely not interested in dating me (that is, more so than white boys)-Except for one Korean boy who broke up with me after a week because of his mother's disapproval (I couldn't say for sure if it had to do with me being adopted or if she just thought I was loud and rude. I'll also admit that yes, clearly he didn't feel very strongly about me).-My white boyfriend swears up and down that he gets dirty looks from Asian men when we we're together. (Usually only when we go into Korean restaurants with mostly Asian customers - but he doesn't get those looks when he goes in alone).

I do always tend to give a bit of a cheer (not out loud, thankfully) when I see an Asian guy with a woman who is not Asian. I'm not sure if I see it as counterbalancing my own interracial relationship, or just the progress of Asian men in general as being able to break out of a lot of the dating stereotypes.

Moreover, I just feel that dating is sort of a disaster anyway - where a large number of people are fixated on what I consider to be silly things. Yes, a lot of dudes date girls because they're Asian - but a lot of other dudes date girls because they have big breasts, or are 'easy' or are in the right social group. Certainly, the whole scene when it comes to race and dating is pretty bad, but I generally don't worry about it too much.

I'm non-asian, married to a Korean man and we live in Seoul, South Korea.

We get all sorts of questions, comments, and unsolicited advice about how our marriage should be because of being inter-racial... well, I can only assume that's the reason - who knows, maybe random people tell everyone how to act in their marriages(?)

I've found Koreans generally want to know what we argue about and how.

Other expats ask the "What are the cultural differences in your marriage?" to which I have to respond that this is my first marriage so I'm not sure... not to be flippant, that's the truth.

Living here, for the most part, the WW/AM couples have bonded quite well as we learn to be couples where we are the minority, with dual-heritage children, and husbands that are going against the norm within their own countries.

For instance near the bottom seriously Chinese people think Zhiyang Zhi is ugly. Though granted TCG is not the best person to asks as TCG overlooks most things when invited to hop in the sack with somebody.

I do wonder though if what happens in other cultures occurs in Korea...

That simply mixed race children are outcasts no seriously. TCG gets told to fuck off back home often enough in the UK. My friends' sons are mixed race children and are 1/2 Chinese and are treated like outcasts in the UK (told to fuck off back home) and when in HK get told to fuck off back home too!

I am a white Canadian male. I have dated several Korean and Chinese women. I am currently engaged to a wonderful Korean woman. I have many, many Korean male friends in Korea - they are awesome! I love Korean dudes, they are a blast to hang out with.

This topic comes up a lot. The answer I usually receive from Korean men and women is that Koreans perceive Western men to be kinder, gentler and better fathers than Korean men.

Yes - Korean men have told me this.

Most Korean husbands are expected to not be the primary caregivers. They are expected to not do much housework. They are expected to frequent brothels. Their mothers are expected to hate their daughters-in-law. I'm obliged now to say this is just a stereotype, and indeed it is. But my point is that this stereotype is admitted by my Korean male and female friends.

Western men, in contrast, are seen as deeply affectionate and kind. The problem that arises in these relationships, from my experience, is Korean women are often surprised by just how soft Western men really are -- white girls might "love a man who cries" but most Korean women laugh nervously when their white boyfriend cries after a movie.

Let me give an example. If I go out with my Korean fiancée and a bunch of hergirlfriends, and I pour drinks and hand them to the women first all the girls gush: "Oooooh, ladies first!" This sort of Western chivalry is exotic and sexy. The grass is always greener...

Bi-cultural relationships are awesome. They help break down cultural barriers. More and more Korean men are starting to date white women as Westernization continues to (slowly) blossom in Korea, and Korean men learn the tricks of the trade of getting white girlfriends.

I think this topic completely ignores the issue of where a lot of second, and to some extent first generation, Koreans are raised. I was born in Korea but moved to the United States an extremely early age. In particular, I moved to a Southeastern state where I went to an affluent private high school and was just one of a handful of Asian students in the entire student body of a majority white school. Without a lot of other Korean influences besides your immediate family, you are pretty much left to pursue relationships with someone of another race. My dating history is pretty much exclusively blondes just because that's what I have developed as 'my type' because those were the majority of girls around me that I began to like. It's hard to say that it's a cultural thing because Korean women like white men because of a 'poor father' or 'less chivalrous' (and let me tell you, the south teaches every male to be chivalrous) because it is more a product of your environment than anything else. In sum, all I wanted to say was that people are maybe putting too much stock in the Korean female/male dating individuals out of their race because of long-standing cultural images.

I'm a Korean American that moved to Korea to teach English. Back in the states I was mired in subconscious stereotypes that non-Asian women weren't attracted to Asian men. When I got to Korea all of those notions were shattered as I have met one western girl after another that were obsessed with Korean men. I've dated several out here, and have seen the hottest blonde girls with good looking Korean dudes. For any Korean American or Asian American who is also mired in these subconscious stereotypes, forget that shit! Non-Asian women WILL date Asian men. Don't let one or two rejections bring down your confidence.

Sorry but why is it that people are automatically writing about WW and AM? BW and AM couples are out there too. In addition, BW are NOT at the end of the "totem pole" its only in your whitewashed head.

Bravo to The Korean! I've seen this topic come up numerous times and never seen it dealt with so well.

I feel a need to expand on this "fetish" concept. In the realm of intimate relationshps, there is always some level of a fetish. I have a friend who has a very strong preference for women with blonde hair. Another friend is strongly attracted to men in the military. They are otherwise normal and well adjusted people as are most folks like myself who limit their choice in mates to Asian females. As long as such things don't get completely out of control, I fail to see how this is an issue of concern in anyone.

I think that there are a lot of different factors that determine who you end up dating/marrying such as physical appearance, parents, etc. But to me the culture that a person grows up in has a large impact on our subconscious. Our subconscious in turn affects who we choose to date. In general if you grow up in a culture(i.e. America, Europe) where white males are looked at more favorably and other races are marginalized, they will be the ones that the opposite gender will be more inclined to date. This is because they are perceived to be the best mates (best providers, etc.)

This explains why there are so many white male/asian female couples in America. It's due to the fact that the American media media (TV, movies, etc.) either doesn't depict Asian females at all, shows them with white males and/or shows asian males in a negative light. Asian male/asian female couples usually don't speak english and are viewed as foreigners. See this iPhone 4 commercial for an example. What's the subconscious message in this video? The message is that it's ok for Asian women to date/marry and have kids with a white male. Where are the asian male/ white female clips or the asian male/asian female video's for iPhone 4?

I'm not really surprised by the video of Gina Choe because she has grown up to believe the stereotypes that the American media has taught her. (Korean's are short, etc.)

Does this mean that all Asian males who live in America are destined to be single their whole life? Of course not. But I think that they have to work harder in terms of dating because they have to overcome the stereotypes that are built into American culture.

wanted to make a comment that I am a Korean American pretty much raised all my life in the states, and as far as my thinking went, never in my life would I date anyone outside the race... but...

it does happen... dating a salvadorean... nice girl... been here only two years... but the interesting thing is that I've noticed that many races (including Latinos) are very very similar in terms of culture, ideals, etc. compared to Koreans, or even Asians for that matter.

Still fascinates me whenever we go out for K-BBQ and she scarfs down anything and everything on the table~! love it!

"..., and have seen the hottest blonde girls with good looking Korean dudes. "

Women of all races are fetishized for all sorts of different reasons, depending on the country. My blonde friends in Seoul definitely get a lot of attention, but that would be true in most any environment, except Northern Europe maybe.

Its just straight up racism and sexism to presume characteristics of a woman based solely on her race. That said, can we change who we're attracted to?

I never thought I was particularly attracted to one race over another, and have dated asian, white, latino guys, but the moment I stepped out of the airport in Incheon, I felt like that was it. I think it was just the assault of seeing many well-dressed, confident (cocky, perhaps?) guys in one place.

It annoys me when people assume that all mixed race couples are inherently racist. Personally I prefer Asian boys (I'm a white female). My husband is asian, and we have two kids together. The height thing is pretty rediculous, I'm 5'2 and the hubby is 6'3. He was my first asian boyfriend and I was his first white girlfriend, but even though we are different races, I've got a lot more in common with him than I ever had with any of my white boyfriends.

I'm a white male in my middle-twenties living in NYC. I'm a little surprised at some of the comments that talk around the issue, as well as some of the points that haven't been made. Maybe I shouldn't be since this is a sensitive topic that tends to make people defensive and say politically correct things.

I agree that asians don't get equal play with whites--and for that matter blacks and hispanics--in the American media. But except for a few pathological cases I don't see how this could influence sexual attraction--talk about the unconscious is just hand-waving. I have however seen several asian women exoticize themselves in order to advance their careers or manipulate men.

But lets be real. With respect to the high prevalence of the white male/asian female pairing, I think it's because a significant percentage of white men, myself included, tend to be a little more attracted to asian women and a similar percentage of asian women tend to be a little more attracted to us. Simple as that. I love white girls too, but tend to prefer thin brunettes the way some men prefer blonds, which means a lot of the girls I like end up being asian. I've never felt the need to conceal this so I'm always surprised when someone it bothers someone.

In the same way, Gina Choe made an ass of herself, but calling her racist or self-hating is absurd. If she is taller than most asian men and if she only likes men taller then herself most of the guys she is with won't be asian. I've known lots of white women who preferred black men for similar reasons and never felt bothered by it. People who throw around terms like "racism" or "self-hatred" with respect to interracial dating would do well to look at themselves and their own insecurities instead.

Of course there are some people with a yellow fever fetish, but in my experience they are few and far between and tend to be from older generations. It's a big world, explore your options.

Hello. I came here to learn about yellow fever as well, it's very frustrating. So much information comes up about this topic of dating instead of yellow fever, people really want to learn about the virus of yellow fever so please post on that.

True you may see more AF/WM but it doesn't mean they don't get the same stereotypes put on them as well. I certainly don't need to repeat those here as that is already done enough already. What I will say though from my experience. The reasons you see this are as different as there are flavors of ice cream lol. Personally I grew up in a mostly Native American and Asian community. 90% of the people were either Asian or Native American as the rest were white. So naturally if you were white you didn't have a whole lot of other options. I know of many AM/WF couples which has similar experiences and were personal friends as well. What you might find interesting here is this. Many WF/WM considered themselves more Asian then they did white. Now there is something ya don't hear everyday.

In a way actually though they are exactly that. This is kinda funny really at times when around other Asians. "Hey my friend can read your mind!" "Oh is that so they say?" Then they like freak out when they knew the answer before ever responding. If they only knew lol. I get this all the time when making korean dishes. "You make better Bulgogi then my parents!!" Now in retrospect I also know of many Asian males which have no trouble at all of getting white females. Many of my mixed couple friends get very irritated when people stereotype them in this manner. Sure stereotypes likely do play in some instances. Although it is more what appears beneath the surface where the truth lies. You might also find it interesting that some whites can't stand the fact of being white. They would much rather be a minority then a majority.

Now that is truly something you don't here everyday. Although when asking them why I kinda understand. "We are the only people which hasn't experienced racism in reverse." "We assume so much which has been given to us without seeing how the other side must feel." "Why can't the world be equal so no one can use race as an excuse." "I can't stand for what we represent and have become." "For this my race is dead to me." Now that is pretty extreme isn't it. Although in a way he makes perfect since. All in all whatever one's personal preference doesn't really matter. If you share a connection and both accept that view then who the hell cares. To bad the rest of the world is to ignorant to see that. `_`

I hate yellow fever. Especially they take advanteage of their situation like a teacher at University in the U.S.A. I could not believe he teaches chinese 101 and flirts Chinese girls and Asian girls. Watch out this guy at Arizona State University. Miles

As for Asian women, I think they are just as beautiful as any other woman, from any other "race". I do think its funny when I hear other Asian people say that a white man dating an Asian woman is somehow a looser because they couldn’t get a white girl. I sometimes wonder if they realize that what they are saying is that they somehow think “White girls” are superior to “Asian girls” and these guys are just going after second best or something.I have had only one experience dating an Asian woman and it happened to be a Korean American woman. I actually loved her very much and we had a lot of things in common. My family loved her too, and I thought maybe I had found the one I was looking for. When it was time to meet her parents, I spent months before hand trying to learn as much as I could about Korean culture, language and customs. I even learned the 큰절 and planned to show her family the utmost respect when we met. Unfortunately, I never got to meet them. The problem was that she got so much grief for dating a white man that she finally broke up with me. She was born and raised in America. This family had been in America since the Korean War, but still had this prejudice. So even though my "white" Midwestern family accepted the Asian girl, without prejudice, I, as a white man, wasn't even fit to date their daughter, for no other reason, than I was a white. By any other standard in Korean culture, I would have been a good match as a husband, except that I was white. I didn't come to that conclusion on my own either. That is what my ex-girlfriend told me. Her mother went so far as to say that having children with me would produce mongoloids and they couldn’t accept children like that in their family. They wouldn't even meet me and give me a chance to prove myself. So now I guess I'm supposedly some kind of creepy bad guy or some racist pervert because I had fallen in love with a woman who was not of my "race". However, I don't judge all Korean people based on my experiences. That would be racist, and that's not the way my family raised me. I still study Korean to this day because I found it to be a beautiful language and a beautiful culture. And I’m proud of how far I’ve come in my studies because Korean is a very difficult language to learn and I worked very hard to get as good as I am so far. So if wanting to immerse myself in another culture for a while to gain a better understanding of life makes me a creepy perverted white man infected with yellow fever, then whatever. There are worse things I could be in this world, and far worse things I could be accused of. But to be fair, I don’t think you were trying to be racist in your post, and I enjoy reading your blog. I was just sharing my own experience when I tried to date and marry a Korean woman. It didn’t work out so well for me. C'est la vie.

yellow fever is decease, you dumbass. that's an american expression created in same manner as jungle fever, which means that you like black people. so yellow fever supposed mean you like asian people. but the catch is an insult towards asians since yellow fever is a decease. asians(who understand english) and especially asian americans need stop using that. you are a coon and a sellout if you use that. and shows a lot of self hatred. got that.

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About TK

The Korean is a Korean American living in Washington D.C. / Northern Virginia. He lived in Seoul until he was 16, then moved to Los Angeles area. The Korean refers to himself in the third person because he thinks it sounds cool.