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People think they aren’t. Anyone can order one and the owners corporation is good to go. Right? Wrong.

Unless you follow the legal rules of engagement for an expert report, for which you will pay thousands of dollars, it will be useless and worse still, may inadvertently damage your legal case.

In order to keep your attention, I will now set out these rules in rap form. Yes. That’s right. In rap. And thank you Run DMC. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Expert reports are my recital, I think it’s very vital

To get an expert, that’s right all a time

It’s tricky is the title, here we go.

[Hook] It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all a time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all the time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

Firstly, the expert must have the right qualifications and experience to be recognised by the courts as a true expert in the field. For example, an experienced plumber might be right to fix a problem, but a hydraulic engineer will be better value for money for an initial report because their advice can be used later if the case doesn’t settle.

[Hook] It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all the time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all a time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

Secondly, the expert must be independent and observe his or her paramount duty to the Court. So when an expert, with the best will in the world, oversteps the mark and starts negotiating with builders and developers, their evidence can be ruled inadmissible.

[Hook] It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all the time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all a time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

Thirdly, there is a difference between expert evidence and expert assistance. By this I mean that not everything an expert produces can be relied upon in court, only expert evidence.

[Hook] It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all the time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all a time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

Fourthly, the expert must be briefed with a code of conduct to help maintain independence and standards.

[Hook] It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all the time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all a time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

Finally, only expert reports that are expressly prepared for legal advice remain confidential under the rules of legal professional privilege.

[Hook] It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all the time

It’s Tricky … it’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky).

It’s Tricky to write a report, to write a report that’s right all a time

One of the worst parts of my job is dealing with developers. It’s like dealing with investment bankers. Both have that condescending “what we say goes” attitude but at least investment bankers will buy you dinner before they have their way.

George Bernard Shaw was clearly talking of a developer when he said “He knows nothing; and he thinks he know everything. That points clearly to a political career.”

Anyway, my top 7 responses from developers when approached about building defects are:

we’ve done everything we can do;

we build to a price, you get what you paid for;

we’re only the developer. It’s the fault of the builder (even though the builder was given inadequate design documentation because the developer wanted to save on design costs);

the water penetration is caused by “wind driven rain”;

I can’t give you any design documents because the architect/engineer claims copyright over them;

I’m the developer, so I’m fairly certain I know everything; and

the [INSERT NAME OF POLITICAL PARTY] said I wouldn’t have to worry about building defects if I contributed to their re-election campaign.