Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Everyone knows that pictures are the most important thing on an online dating profile. Without a face to go along with a write up, the profile might as well not even exist.

The pictures you choose to post on your profile absolutely makes the difference between someone a) ignoring your profile, b) clicking on your profile and c) deciding to send you a message!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But some pictures are worth two or three thousand words. It doesn't take THAT much effort, but the payback is absolutely worth it. Here are a few tricks to create and post the kinds of pictures that will make people want to meet you!

Monday, April 14, 2014

I get a lot of questions from people. I've decided once a month to take one of them and publicly answer it.

This month:

"Why are there so many beautiful women on these dating sites that claim
to be single? Its obvious that they can have any man they want. Can you
help me find a good woman?"
- Ervin, 38, North Carolina

Ervin,

It sounds like you might be a little confused about the way love and romantic
connections work. And possibly you aren't considering what it's like to be a woman looking for a
happy and long lasting relationship.

Being attractive may give a person more options and probably more opportunities
for booty calls or friends with benefits. But it doesn't mean they're going to
easily find someone who has their life together, will treat them the way they
want to be treated and value them for qualities beyond just being beautiful. Especially if
they are looking for something serious, monogamous, or long term like marriage.

Being a beautiful woman doesn't mean they'll easily find a beautiful man who
will be a good match for them. Everyone wants their best match (feeling
connected, having common interests, strong chemistry, similar goals, etc.). And
despite what you think, those qualities are often more important that just
simply having a pretty face and a sexy body. Those are nice too, but people are
much more than their looks. And relationships MUST be built on more than physical
appearance.

Most people want to find someone who is as attractive as they are, but who are
also smart, kind, considerate, successful, loyal and generous. That can be EXTREMELY
difficult because some people who are extremely attractive are vain, selfish,
lazy in relationships and not faithful.

And many of the really attractive people
who are also sweet and successful, are already in relationships or married.

This is one reason why attractive women often end up with guys who are not in
their league. Because the women decide that choosing someone who will cherish
them and be loyal to them is more important than choosing someone who is very
attractive but doesn't value them and cheats on them.

There is also the fact that possibly the attractive women are the ones who are
vain, selfish, and unfaithful. Or maybe they have very limited interests,
aren't very good at conversation or have other attributes that turn guys off.

A
lot of guys tell me that they were very attracted to a girl when they first met.
And then she opened her mouth. The hot girl swore like a sailor, nagged them
constantly, whined and complained about everything and gossiped about everyone
to the point where the guy couldn't find them attractive anymore. They ended up dating or marrying a slightly less attractive girl or less fit girl who actually shared their interests,
appreciated their sense of humor and wanted to make a life with them.

Beauty
eventually fades. Character qualities are usually permanent. Not many guys want
to get hitched to a bitch just because she’s hot.

So you see, you cannot just look at a person’s profile, decide that you think
they are universally attractive and assume they either can have anyone they
want or that everyone wants them. It's entirely possible that they are there
for the same reasons you are: Because you have just not found a person who
makes you want to forget everyone else exists, that also feels that way about
you.

I’ve checked out your profile. It’s entirely empty! I’m sorry, but I absolutely cannot help
someone find anything when they have not taken the time to fill out their
profile completely and include several good, current pictures of them self. You
have exactly ZERO pictures of yourself. Pictures are the very first thing
people look at on a profile. Without
them, you really don’t have much of a profile.

If you want to seriously have results, you have to be serious about
your effort. Why should a smart, attractive woman who is a keeper talk to a guy
who doesn't bother to explain who they are or what they want and also hides how
they look? Short answer: They won’t.

When you really want to have some success with online dating, you know where to
start.