"The trouble with this country is it's governed by cunts.""Well, you may not have noticed, but there's a lot of cunts in this country, and they deserve to be represented."

The voters have spoken - the bastards.

At one stage the British secret service was staffed entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the Russians.

If voting changed anything, they'd abolish it.

When a politician is talking to you, all you have to do is think "Why is this bastard lying to me?"

It's not the voting that's democracy, it's the counting.

Having the vote means nothing to women. We need guns.

You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for very long.

A politician is a man who will lay down your life for his country.

It is easy to define human rights: everyone has the right to do anything that does not injure another (Schaupenhauer)

Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

I’m a Democrat and I do not agree with the GOP, at all. I can say that being in the military has surrounded me with Republicans who generally vote with a red crayon.

There is hardly such a thing as a war in which it makes no difference who wins. Nearly always one side stands more or less for progress, the other side more or less for reaction. George Orwell

If people want to be weak, stupid, effeminate, erectile-disfunctional, naive, apologist, namby-pamby, thumb-sucking, lefty, pinko fantasy-land morons, let them find their own word for themselves, and leave 'liberal' for us genuine freedom-loving, gonad-equipped, libertarian go-getters.

Every gun that is made, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. Dwight Eisenhower

For most of the world, US Pres elections are like porn movies. We can't take part in them, but we are willing to stare at them.

“Karl Marx was right, socialism works, it is just that he had the wrong species” ― Edward O. Wilson, The Ants

"Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman, signed Neil."(The Young Ones)

It is folly for an eminent man to think of escaping censure, and a weakness to be affected with it. All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age in the world, have passed through this fiery persecution. Joseph Addison

The readiest and surest way to get rid of censure, is to correct ourselves. Demosthenes c.350BC

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in very large groups.

Margaret Thatcher said that vicious personal attacks always cheered her greatly, because meant the opponent had run out of rational objections.

George Bush: Forrest Gump with a trust fund

Mr. Boehner also alluded to the difficulty he faces simply getting his own party to pass legislation by itself. “My goal every day is to try to keep 218 frogs in a wheelbarrow long enough to get something passed,” he said.

Foreign Aid is the taxing of poor people in rich countries for the benefit of rich people in poor countries.

Political satire is in the forefront of the fight for freedom of expression. It uses caustic wit to deride hypocrisy, empty promises, and abuses of power. Not surprisingly some of its targets, especially in authoritarian regimes, resent being ridiculed and try to ban the satire and the satirists. Leonard Freedman

Political satire to be most effective
Is caustic, unfair, and never objective.
With all this in mind, you may ask why I’m for it.
The answer is simple: Tyrants abhor it.
Leonard Freedman

A statesman is a politician who didn't get caught.

Australian: too drunk to notice his sunburn

.... happy Englishmen

England: the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex

Europe : a place where people don't take baths and don't speak English

I believe that everyone's equal - no matter how stupid they are or how much better I am than they are

The best political joke of the 1990s: Bill Clinton never inhaled; Jerry Brown never exhaled.