Leonard: Before you say anything, have you heard of Schrodinger's cat?Penny: Actually, I've heard far too much about Schrodinger's cat.Leonard: Good.
*Leonard and Penny kiss!*Penny: All right, the cat's alive. Let's go to dinner.

Leonard: She's only been here a day and a half, and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.
Penny: Hey, I talked to her for five minutes yesterday, and I've been half bombed ever since.

Sheldon: Here's an interesting fact about alcohol: Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? Hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.Penny: Monkeys.Sheldon: When does a monkey have a trunk?Penny: When a suitcase just won't do.