This week’s weird research is how to make a lamp from hamburger grease, a stick, and a scrap of cotton.

I googled how to make a torch in the wilderness. My character Simi needs one to last her all night traveling through the forest. She could make a new one every time the old one died, but the wilderness torch instructions I found either lasted only 5-20 minutes, dripped a trail of flaming oil, or both. Too impractical.

But I did find how to make a lamp/candle from fat. It works for the story, because Simi has access to a small clay pot and the grease from dinner. So I simulated it as closely as I could with a glass bowl.

1. Fill the bottom half of the bowl with sand. This keeps the wick standing upright. I used wet-ish dirt and tiny gravel from my driveway.

2. Add last night’s congealed hamburger grease.

​3. Find a twig 1/2” taller than the sand + grease. Smear a scrap of cotton fabric with grease and wrap it around the stick. This is your wick. Stick the wick down into the grease and sand.

4. Light the wick. I couldn’t get it to catch when I used a charcoal lighter, but it worked when I used matches. It took three matches.

My lamp lasted 3-4 hours before it ran out of grease. Trimming all the fat before cooking an animal (rather than just catching what drips) might produce more fuel for the lamp. I tested it in a dark room, and it didn’t shed much light, but for Simi it’s better than nothing. She’d know how to make a decent lamp, anyway, since she lives in an unlightbulbed world, but at least now I kind of know what I’m narrating.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever researched, or done just to see if it could be done? Comment below!