In Pope Benedict’s remarks this morning, prior to the Angelus, he reflected on belief preceding understanding for those who remained with Jesus after many others had departed because of the teachings they found difficult to comprehend. He then added the following:

Finally, Jesus knew that even among the twelve apostles there was one that did not believe: Judas. Judas could have left, as many of the disciples did; indeed, he would have left if he were honest. Instead he remained with Jesus. He did not remain because of faith, or because of love, but with the secret intention of taking vengeance on the Master. Why? Because Judas felt betrayed by Jesus, and decided that he in turn would betray Him. Judas was a Zealot, and wanted a triumphant Messiah, who would lead a revolt against the Romans. Jesus had disappointed those expectations. The problem is that Judas did not go away, and his most serious fault was falsehood, which is the mark of the devil. This is why Jesus said to the Twelve: “One of you is a devil” (John 6.70). We pray to the Virgin Mary, help us to believe in Jesus, as St. Peter did, and to always be sincere with Him and with all people.

At first reading this is a stunning sounding commentary, having the suggestion that, for his own good, Judas would have been better off to leave with the others who found the teachings hard and depart from Jesus. After all is it not true that there are many of us who may find teachings of the faith at times difficult to grasp, to affirm, and to follow? There are times of doubt, sometimes serious doubts, as well as even perhaps feelings of having been betrayed by leadership. Surely the suggestion isn’t that it is better to leave if we disagree. But of course there is an important distinction being made. Judas stayed without any intention of continuing to grapple with this different kind of Messiah, these teachings, or with any openness to ongoing conversion. His mind was set and his intention was to take vengeance and change things, conforming them according to his own expectation.

But what about the requirement to follow one’s conscience from last week’s chapter? Wouldn’t that suggest that if we really are convinced there is a teaching/direction in error, that we should remain steadfast? Maybe even openly challenge the apparent error with the hope to bring about change? Was Judas’ serious fault of falsehood simply that his intention was secret? Should he have stayed and tried to convince them of another way, continuing as he did with the group as a follower of Jesus, but telling people of a different way, following his formed conscience based perhaps on long experience with the Romans and expectations that he had been taught, even from spiritual guides?

We are taught that while we are expected to follow our conscience, we do so recognizing that our conscience (even well-formed since that is a life-long process) can still be objectively wrong (USCCA p. 314f). Therefore, it seems that both humility and love would dictate extreme caution with that idea. For one thing, there is the possibility of leading another into error that can’t be taken lightly (Mark 9:42; 1 Corinthians 8:9-13).

Additionally there is the possibility of obscuring the witness of Christ for those who still do not know him. Does the issue itself, let alone the need to be right, really outweigh the appeal for unity: “I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought” (1 Corinthians 1:10, as just one example)? From other passages we see the call to live in harmony and peace… To what end? In Jesus’ prayer we hear him asking the Father for the disciples, that “… they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.” (John 17:23)

Given that the “pillar and bulwark of the truth” is the Church who has the responsibility to articulate the faith and moral principles (USCCA, p.330f) what about the times we feel disappointed in our expectations and/or wonder if something being taught is meant to be different? Is it best to simply leave?

For some that might be the answer. But empty pews don’t make a very good witness either.

As long as our mind hasn’t become so convinced that it results in a zealous commitment to be right (over and above understanding), and to bring others along regardless of the cost, then – even if there is a period of waiting in doubt, struggle, uncertainty, studying together with other believers to come to understanding – staying the course like Peter and the other faithful disciples is the better way.

By believing first (and maybe echoing: “I believe; help my unbelief!”) and not denying disagreements, but rather grappling through questions with the goal of understanding, it may just be that together we find a way to help one another along the path of ongoing conversion to holiness. What’s more, by grace we may come to an understanding of even the hard things; and, seeing them through the lens of the love of a generous and good God, our unity may also help others to be encouraged in their faith and drawn to know God.

P.S. There is another obvious point that might be made. Whereas Judas felt an unjustified sense of betrayal, in the case of the Body of Christ lived through people vulnerable to the reality of sin, there are times of real betrayal at the hands of those who should be trustworthy. Anger, hurt, resentment, fear, unforgiveness resulting from either betrayal, or even from concern about how the teachings effect those we love, can be stumbling blocks to belief and understanding. These emotions may be woven through disagreement with the Church, further exacerbating a temptation to be in control of defining one’s own “truth.” … May God bring healing to wounded hearts, softening them to forgive, creating hearts of discernment open to trusting that the Holy Spirit is the faithful guide of the Church in Truth. May God grant to the Church wisdom and grace to faithfully articulate that Truth in authentic Love. (Laurie E.)

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FTF is a 125th Anniversary Journey of Faith of the Diocese of Belleville through the United States Catholic Catechism for Adults.

2 Responses to What if I disagree? Should I leave?

Very good points made here … by way of (hopefully) adding texture to the discussion I’d suggest that Judas descended into some version of moral relativism which ultimately led to his downfall. In may own faith journey I often find myself tempted to question the wisdom of the majesterium … for instance, when I become aware of a young family who receives the horrific news their new child (will be) born (and faced with a life of) hopelessly catastrophic handicaps (OR) the sad news that a friend is beset with the terrible cross of a dementia/alzheimer diagnosis and leans toward ending their life vs. using the affliction as a model of Christ’s own suffering on the cross … at these times I find my own self tempted to question the Church’s teachings on dealing with these complicated issues … and sadly at these times I find myself questioning God … and so, do I leave? I think not! Do I, as the Holy Father appears to suggest was Judas’ motivation, contrive to develop my own ‘personal roadmap’ for confronting the questions I might have? I cannot imagine I would! Like the jews whom Joshua challenged to declare what God they serve in this weeks’ other reading I have to resist the temptation to develop my personal version of moral relativism, rely on the wisdom of the Church fathers to guide me along in the faith journey, and pray for the faith and courage to be able to boldy decare that “…as for me and my household we will serve the Lord!”

Frankly I cannot see any other way … if, as a body (the Church), we are all about the business of secret agendas, disordered living; in short, ‘our own’ version of the truth, I think we’d rather quickly descend into complete anarchy in this life, and an eternity of being cast into darkness. Better I think to answer the Master, as did Simon Peter … “…You [Master] have the words of eternal life; and we have believed and have come to know that you are the Holy One of God.” (Dave R.)