I hope you enjoy looking around here; feel free to hang out all you like. Mostly I talk about football, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, a little bit of politics and my last cruise vacation (not necessarily in that order). Feel free to leave a comment or send me an email any time.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Sorry I didn't blog last week's episode. I was just being lazy, but this being the finale, I figure I had better blog the last episode (unless somone in my family calls in the middle of the show again).

We're down to Emmitt Smith and Mr. I-Cheated-On-My-Wife-On-Our-Honeymoon. I think Marios is the better dancer, but according to the DialIdol people, Emmitt is in the lead. Under the scoring system Dancing With the Stars uses, the judges are irrelevant tonight; the winner of the popular vote will win the show.

We get three dances from each of them. One they have done previously, one with the same moves to the same song and one freestyle. Remember, it was the freestyle that I think Drew used last year to win with his "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" routine (not coincidentally along with partner Cheryl Burke).

We start off with GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! . . . Filler.

I hate this crap. Mrs. High Lord just checked the TV Guide Channel and it looks like this show is going to be two hours tonight. Two hours. Two hours. I think I am going to go crazy. At least I can write lesson plans and grade papers during the crap part of the show.

It won't solve all their problems, but it's a start. Now they need to bring in another guy like Mark Richt who can actually coach quarterbacks. The defense is still good. However, they can't keep them in every game, not with the parity that has come to college football. With all of the great recruits FSU gets every year, there is no reason why they're in second-to-last place in their division in the ACC.

FSU's offense was out-coached on a consistent basis and now we can only hope that they can get back on their feet in the next year or so.

Now back to the show . . .

First up is Emmitt and he's doing the samba. Man, those are some ugly-ass shoes. At least his guns look as good as Ed Hochuli's. He always looks like he's having fun, especially when he's not doing the traditional ballroom styles. I Cheryl has really whipped him into dancing shape. Combined with his desire to win and be the best at whatever he's doing, I think he stands a good chance of winning.The Judges's Scores: 10-10-10The High Lord's Score: 9

Next up is the former Mr. Ali Landry. Technically, he's a better dancer than Emmitt, but we should expect that since he's trained as a dancer before. At least that's according to IMDB.com. I believe that one the show he has said that he hasn't had any dance training, and I also believe that makes him a liar. Maybe he and Karina are trying to distract the audience because she's wearing next to nothing.The Judges's Scores: 10-9-10The High Lord's Score: 9

Emmitt comes back with his mambo that was almost perfect the first time. It's good, but he looks like he's counting in his head again. I think I would actually score it lower this time around.The Judges's Scores: 10-10-10The High Lord's Score: 8

Trailing by one, Mario comes to us with his 29-point paso doble. Mario also looks like he's counting along in his head. Maybe it's because his muscle memory has worn off and he's forgottent he choreography. I'd give him a lower score on this one, too.The Judges's Scores: 10-10-10The High Lord's Score: 8

For his last dance, Emmitt whips out some vintage Hammer, complete with the Hammer shuffle. Who is this guy they've got singing. Mrs. High Lord doesn't like him and neither do I. I don't know if this is good enough to win, but he looks like he's having fun. It wasn't as good as Cheryl and Drew last year, but I think he put up a good showing. The gold shoes were nice, too.The Judges's Scores: 10-10-9The High Lord's Score: 9

Mario's freestyle is also to the bad vocal stylings of the house band who clearly shouldn't be doing any rap songs. His dacing is good. I predict perfect 10s, although some of his holds and lifts have not been clean. The Judges's Scores: 10-10-10The High Lord's Score: 9

That leaves both contestants with the same score going into the voting, meaning that the outcome of the show is entirely in the hands of the viewers.

In a pure dancing competition, I think Mario would win, but since this is a popularity contest, I think Emmitt has a leg up. He's simply a more well-known celeb. Even though the viewership of this show is something like 70% women, I think a lot of poeple know that Mario has a reputation as not being able to keep it in his pants, while Emmitt is known to just about everyone.

Who knows? Jerry finished in second place last year. Emmitt can win this year (I can only hope).

My prediction is that Emmitt is going to win because he's been the consistent leader at DialIdol, meaning that his line has been busy more often than Mario's, and presumably that also means that more people are voting for him.

I've got a late program after class tomorrow, so I won't find out live, but we'll see.

3. If a song "belongs" to another American Idol performer, don't even try it. "Summertime" is Fantasia's. "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" is Clay's. You will only be a pale imitation, so don't bother.

4. Listen to what Simon has to say and ignore the way he says it; he's a pompous idiot, but he's also usually right.

5. Don't argue with the judges; it just makes you look whiney and ungrateful.

6. Be mentally tough or the show will chew you up and spit you out, no matter how good a singer you are.

7. Sing every song like it's going to be your last and don't take any week for granted because every year someone unexpectedly gets whacked.

8. Any falsetto is too much falsetto.

9. If you didn't get on TV during the audition rounds and Hollywood, you got hosed. Don't complain about it. Thank American Idol for the opportunity and be grateful you don't have to shill for Fox/Freemantle/19E for the rest of your life.

10. Don't read silly blogs and message boards. Do your best because no matter what you do, some hack with a website will write things about you you don't believe and you don't think are true. Suck it up, ignore the blather and prove them wrong!

Dave's Season 10 Idol Glossary

AFE - The Anthony Fedorov Effect, or the tendency to sing power ballads that show off a money note at the end

CCS - Crappy Coronation Song

Dead Man's Spot - The lead-off spot in the order, statistically a dangerous place to have to sing

GDM - Gay Dance Moves guy, Jacob Lusk

IBG - Interchangeable Blonde Girl

O1NS - Obligatory One-Named Singer in the tradition of Trenyce, Mandisa, and Vonzell.

OIG - Obama Intern Girl Molly Swensen

OTP - One Trick Pony

PCC - Psycho Crying Chick Ashley Sullivan

Pimp Spot - Getting to sing last, statistically a very good place to sing

SOB - Stars on Boobs Girl Tiffany Rios

T/AG - Tourette's/Asperger's Guy James Durbin

TCO - The Chosen One

VSC - Very Special Contestant, a singer who is handed a bajillion votes with their touching sob story and massive face time