We are all priviledged to live under the benevolent thumb of the Dear Leader Barack Obama who makes such amazing advances for society while seemingly doing little besides play golf. May comrades Betinov and Obamalov enjoy many years of tapping on their respective enclosures together while I ponder what mystery of Obama's creation allows me, a 1950s era TV set, to use a computer. Hail Obama!

Somebody ought to tell these medical folks about Comrade Ivan's stasis method. Instead of using donated blood, plumbing and electrical hook-ups, he does just fine being immersed in the motherland's vodka.

I regret to inform the collective that the rumors of my impending nuptials are, if not exagerated, in fact outright false. Yes, I did date Ms Obamalov (I was attracted to the name) and initially, it was wonderful. Long sits on the beach, the soft beeping of monitors...it was magical. But when I finally got her to open up to me, there was nothing inside. It turns out she was just another heartless box.

Comrade Betinov, comrade Obamalov does not deserve this fate; everyone will tell you that even for a Party member, she is all heart. She surely will be heart broken when she hears this news which, in her case, is a really big deal.

Betinov, you heartbreaker, you! Why, I should think your jar is so hard it’s all you can do not to explode at the very thought of ripping off Obamalov’s cover and penetrating her very core. Imagine pressing all that hardness of yours against Obamalov, until she yields to your masculine brain power! Oh, what sweet heaven to break through her barrier and plunge yourself into her silky wet heat! Let her surround you and hold you tight with her pulsating muscles as they cling to you . . . feel that throbbing . . . join her rhythm . . . faster . . . harder . . . till you’re ready to shatter and spill all your grayish-white matter into her soft, warm depths . . . a true joining of heart and mind!

Give her a chance, Betinov—and she might even blow your mind.

And since I know you comrades are all longing for me to post a comment like this, I hereby SUBMIT to your burning desires!

My most loyal comrade Ivan dear, I am, yes, disappointed that the up and coming nuptials have been foiled. The two of you appeared to be the perfect pair! (not to mention the gift I had already collected purchased with my toil) but nary the less....

my heart is also joyful that such an attractive jar....man.... personage is still available for the lovely ladies of the Cube. We would sorely miss such a handsome jar as yourself, were you to be removed to who knows where? A garage sale? Old, recycled rummage? That would not be acceptable. (not to mention that the crummy cheap plastic box is not up to our standards)

And since I know you comrades are all longing for me to post a comment like this, I hereby SUBMIT to your burning desires!

Comrade Pinkie Dearest (May I call you Pinkie?) I'm just getting started! A good whack-job and a tounge-lashing, proper deployment of the heat-seeking missile array, followed by a leisurely game of "hide the evidence" all sounds like a typical workday at Party™ Headquarters!

Comrade Lenin 'n' Things, a good carpenter does not blame his tools. A good beet harvester does not blame his shovel. A good community organizer does not blame his Marxist propaganda facts. Please do as Dear Leader Obama would do...

Commissarka Pinkie, I for one am glad to listen to more of this job-stimulating economy-engorging narrative of yours for the sake of the children and the oppressed, of course. I would even make the supreme sacrifice of missing Dear Leader's speech in order to do so, that's how important I believe it is to stiffen the resolve of the people against the warm milkiness of the tea.... er, party.

I regret to inform the collective that the rumors of my impending nuptials are, if not exagerated, in fact outright false. Yes, I did date Ms Obamalov (I was attracted to the name) and initially, it was wonderful. Long sits on the beach, the soft beeping of monitors...it was magical. But when I finally got her to open up to me, there was nothing inside. It turns out she was just another heartless box.

Comfort me, dear Collective. Bring vodka.

What have you againt heartless boxes?! Especially heartless boxes with Obama in their name?

My dear Lenin 'n' Things... It is my duty to inform you that using the term teaparty as an adjective to modify apes (or vice versa) is indeed redundant. NewSpeak regulations on the Cube require one to stamp out and eradicate any and all superfilous redundancies in the the abuse of the language. Clearly the use of the terms 'damned' and 'dirty' are well over the top (as it were).

Simpling using the term teabaggers (or the more en vogue term: tea-rrorists) automatically implies damned, dirty and ape. You will see this in the latest edition of the People's Thesaurus.

You voluntary compliance, while not mandatory, is highly encouraged (if you understand my meaning).

I regret to inform the collective that the rumors of my impending nuptials are, if not exagerated, in fact outright false. Yes, I did date Ms Obamalov (I was attracted to the name) and initially, it was wonderful. Long sits on the beach, the soft beeping of monitors...it was magical. But when I finally got her to open up to me, there was nothing inside. It turns out she was just another heartless box.

Comfort me, dear Collective. Bring vodka.I was going to take them back to the plasticks injection facility #112958 but I suppose you can have them anyway. Perhaps it will cheer you up to be more... capable. I figured they would come in handy on your wedding night.

Lenin 'n' Things, is the "Thing" in your avatar our own Dear Pinkie when she lets her hair down? It is no wonder your fingers fumbled on that tiny keyboard.

As for the smartphone thingie, all Korrekt Progs know technology is Evil and creates mistakes. When we are all fully united with Gaia we will no longer be able to use need it. In the meantime it is always safe to Blame Bush™.

Pinkie causes a stirring in my beets! I believe a colonoscopy will fix that right up! Dear beloved, late Mr. Pulloskies keep having reoccurring beetery problems and I put him.... and he had the exam many a time with great success. p.s. please remember - do not eat a lot of beets the night before!! And lay off the broccoli and Bush'sbeans.

Comrade Redumdimski...you flatter me w/ your question. Pinkie is my idol....but I am me & she is she.Although I try to emulate the Wonderfully Wonderful Commisarka each day, I will never come even slightly close to her incredible incredibleness....there is only one Pinkie :)

Tovarisch Lenin 'n' Thing(s), while it is Korrekt that you are you and Pinkie is Pinkie, you and your deliciously delightfully depicted friend in your avatar image do appear to be (out of sight) joined at the hip, er somewhere, as it were.

I see from your post prior to that, and from Dear Raum's post, that you too enjoy employing the art of redundancy. So, if you want to be another Redundancy for the Party's Kollektiv Good, who am I to deny you? To paraphrase the gagrag great Time Magazine, We're all redundancies now. No doubt soon we will all employ the Eleventh edition of the Newspeak dictionary (good through at least 2050), and our redundancies will be even more obvious. Doubleplusgoodness For The People™!

You newbie slut. We have heretofore recorded your trespasses. Meow is watching. Our best eggs to comrade Brain In Jar. Spit. Pinkie knows I long for heart in plastic box, Betinov you are blessed by Obama indeed. Chicken (free) available Sunday at Barack's Chicken & A Biscuit. Soul food comrades only need apply.

Comrade Redumdimski, why don't you just admit already that you have a big crush on Lenin 'n' Things, and you'd like to ask her out for a date, but you're afraid she'll somehow morph into me and bash your head in with my shovel?

Dearest Commissarka, these are the things which we of maleness must ALWAYS consider whilst leering at pondering those of the opposite species - might she, in fact, be Pinkie? Is there a hidden shovel close at hand? Is there *shudder* a WHACK! in our immediate future?

While we delight in your most equally sensual avatarly visage, nevertheless we have grown to both fear and respect The Shovel™.

Tovarisch Lenin 'n' Things (I am not of those who would write "Miss Thang"), please pardon my confusion. I had succumbed to the patrician mindset of standard Progdom. Amplified by my swimming brain (not entirely in vodka as tovarisch Betinov, nor in nearly so transparent a container - his mind is open to us all) which is reelin' and a rockin' with the beauty of our properly Progish Feministas. Viva la difference while we can before The World of Next Tuesday™ arrives!

Commissarka, there is no hiding my desires thoughts from you. Your Mighty Shovel must have a wire tuned to my brainwaves. Indeed I have spent a most equally pleasurable moment or ten wondering what Things might be wearing about to conjure up next at her smartphone mini-keyboard. Not that I'm into that sort of thing, but the idea of being bashed - er, WHACKed - by that shovel of yours (would it be chocolate? Oh sorry, wrong thread) has a certain charm Korrektness-inducing quality.

Red (great color on you!) Rooster, while I am a newbie I am quite monogamous, thank you very much. One at a time, please. I am delighted that tovarisch Meow is watching. I know of some cats who are eager to chase a mouse with the great Prog Feline. And said cats will neither hiss nor spit.

No biggie, Redumdimski....we are all sexless in the W o N T......also, this is not MY stooopid smartassphone, it's my spousal unit's phone. I would never own such an evil device....I like my ancient technology phone, but I broke it & now I must get a new one....this saddens me greatly:(

Concur with Korrektion! (spit) WoNT will get proles asking for more...

PWoNT!!!! (because it purrs more, and turns off and on at whim, and you never know if it will come when you call it, and many times when you do it just sits there and bathes itself... sounds like the glorious undefinable post-modern progressive world of next tuesday. Da?)

Betinov, you heartbreaker, you! Why, I should think your jar is so hard it’s all you can do not to explode at the very thought of ripping off Obamalov’s cover and penetrating her very core. Imagine pressing all that hardness of yours against Obamalov, until she yields to your masculine brain power! Oh, what sweet heaven to break through her barrier and plunge yourself into her silky wet heat! Let her surround you and hold you tight with her pulsating muscles as they cling to you . . . feel that throbbing . . . join her rhythm . . . faster . . . harder . . . till you’re ready to shatter and spill all your grayish-white matter into her soft, warm depths . . . a true joining of heart and mind!

Give her a chance, Betinov—and she might even blow your mind.

And since I know you comrades are all longing for me to post a comment like this, I hereby SUBMIT to your burning desires!uhhhmmm...Pinky! This reads like Xaviera Hollander's advice column...from back in the day...uhhh, wait a minute! Were you, are you...MADAMME????

Hmmmm....I will, henceforth, be known as The Minister of Inanities,Redundancies & Thingies.....Great Red One, can you make this happen?...thanks, in advance :)

Not Square or Great but Red none the less. Done. Enjoy your titillation... er titles.... or else we can remove, if you file form #3674987302m987765 in triplicate to the Directorate of Houskeeping. (Ahem...SMO... er our token Lenika in her absence.)

Comrade Redumdimski, why don't you just admit already that you have a big crush on Lenin 'n' Things, and you'd like to ask her out for a date, but you're afraid she'll somehow morph into me and bash your head in with my shovel?Pinky! you need no excuses to wield The Big Red 1 Shovel! Maybe this could evolve into a shovel .jpg (Maxsim? Buehler?), has the right shape...for when you WHACK someone...usually unsuspecting but EQUALLY deserving.Because you CARE so much.Uploaded with ImageShack.us

OML!!!! I have a freakin' title & stuff!!! I feel I have finally been given the recognition that I so richly deserve for being......that's right, being...just being. As a true prog, I am entitled to recognition & adulation for simply being. Thanks, Red :)

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