The President of the Republic of Ireland, Bertie Ahern, has come to the US to speak to Congress and ask the US to keep all the illegal Irish, rather than sending them back.. (Taoiseach , pronounced roughly "tea-shock" is Gaelic for Prime Minister—Ireland has a weird kind of self-inflicted bilingualism.)

But since Irish immigrants greatest contribution to America have been in the police and the military, perhaps we could convince all these illegals to join the Border Patrol. That way AhernÂ could have made a proposal that for each illegal Irish immigrant, he would help deport two illegalÂ Mexicans. But really, while Irish immigrants might be good as a substitute for Mexican immigration, they aren't going to be very popular as an (illegal) addition to the immigration problem. Ask Brenda Walker.