I love the way Dad drives me mad with his never-ending demands…I love the way Mom is always cool no matter how bad the shit I get myself into…I love the way Ayu doesn’t give a damn about everything else and just does her own thing…I love the way Alia is always chirpy and excited about each new day…

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Steady, steady...

There’s a sense of déjà vu with this post. It’s almost on the same setting yet fast forward five months and here I am… reasonably accomplished blog in hand, and facing exams again… Yes, the bloody same set of exams that I faced in December minus 1 paper. It was supposed to be minus 3 but for a moronic if not contemptuous rule that the one paper that was not passed had to be within a floor of marks in order just to refer it by itself. Now I can appreciate trying to cut the standard but if your total excess marks of the other 2 papers more than compensate for the 3rd than why not NOT be cruel and let tortured souls like me do just the 1… I mean for feck’s sake would it actually make any difference? Really?

I know I’m not being productive or constructive at this juncture by ruing things past but I’m currently in that funny place, the one when I’m facing exams… for the life of me I just simply cant figure out why I behave like this when facing exams. My emotional stability goes out the window, I’m jumpy and insecure at even the slightest provocation, and my mind races from every possible thought from my first brawl in primary school to my reasons for doing an accountancy degree to why my toenails seems to grow so quickly when cutting them is my least favourite activity in the world besides ironing clothes…

But this time round things are different, I have my trusted blog to pour my thoughts… hopefully by venting it’ll help… we’ll see… ‘cause I sure could use the focus and serenity of the mind… The most interesting thing is about this state of mind is that I’m most conscious of my relationships with people, be it family, colleagues or friends. I’d almost be wondering back to my interactions and behaviour present and past, all flashing through my mind like that scene in Armageddon when Harry was just about to die, only the difference is that I’m not so the flashback is almost continuous like a DVD on perennial fast-forward 4x…

I think one of my poor qualities has been managing relationships (this is not only restricted to the ‘significant other’ genre)… initiations were almost never too difficult (of course except people that would not have 2 seconds for one’s self) but continuity is almost always a sacrilege. Being in Ireland for almost 3 years has led me to bouts of exaggeration (worryingly) but you get my drift. That realisation had let me to think of what I’d do with myself as far as careers go, climbing the corporate ladder is almost out the window… I’d probably get to middle management but I reckon that’s as far as it goes… Thus the only option available is to venture out and do my own thing (winning the lotto apart) within the next 8 years. God help me if I’d become a CFO of anything by then ‘cause that’ll only usher in severe depression and coronary failure by 35. Like Wyclef in ‘Gone ‘till November’, I ain’t a 9 to 5 guy… and yes I know mostly so are you... but one of the attractions of being in audit so far is that once in a few months I could sneak a few days’ break just to unwind. The spectacle of supervisors to partners doing 60 hour weeks frightens the hell out of me… surely there must be more to life than that… doing something you have a passion for I can understand but corporate slavery just ain’t my cup of tea, thank you very much!

Which begs the question, how now brown cow? What’s your master plan? There must be surely a way out there somewhere… I just have to bid my time… as they say, good things come to people who wait... in my case, waiting is also neither of my strongpoints so its gonna be oh so painful… as for now, its one step at a time and the next is to get the exams sorted…

Just a quick note on my beloved Blues, my last posting (pic post not included) was before we faced the Reds (yes, European champions 2005, would you believe it? a team with Traore in it?) in the 2nd leg. Many shocks have passed since and the 2004-2005 season is finally over. Am glad to say, goalless defeat to Reds aside, it was a fulfilling one. I can finally be able to say to fellow footie fans and punters, ‘We are champions!’ and worthy ones at that. Anyone who mentions ‘pedigree’ will be told gleefully to stuff it up their a**es ‘cause it’s gonna be ours for a few years to come. The defeat to the Reds will only serve to strengthen our resolve and stoke our hunger for more success. Since it is 2005, success could not have come at a better time… and like my alma mater, I wish them both a successful centenary celebration!

As for the squad, much tinkering has been spent through the demo of CM5 (could’ve been better made to be honest) and the result is definitely a leftback, a central midfielder, a right winger and a striker. Additions aside the players we could afford to let go are Smertin, Jarosik, Kezman, Forsell, Crespo, Veron and Carlton Cole. Anyone else has to be replaced in order to mount a serious challenge on all fronts next season. If Parker does go to the Toffees as rumoured then Smertin should stay as cover for Mak. After much deliberation, the worthy candidates for addition are:

Leftback: Ashley Cole (I doubt after all the upheaval of the recent events he’d even consider us), Del Horno, Dede (also unlikely with the work permit being a problem), Zambrotta and Kaladze (highly likely as part exchange for Crespo).

Let’s just see what Jose does. So far he hasn’t been able to keep his promise of settling all main transfers by 31st of May. Someone made an interesting observation that of all his signings so far, only the ones he was familiar with were a success (ex-Porto) and the others were from borderline to downright flops. The backbone to the squad were either players that were already there when he arrived or players that were already signed by Signor Ranieri (yes Robben and Cech was Ranieri’s buys). It will be an interesting summer and it will be a more interesting season to come! As for now keep an eye on the tabloids…