Tag: Divorce

Preschool children in joint physical custody have less psychological symptoms than those who live mostly or only with one parent after a separation. In a new study of 3,656 children, researchers show that 3–5-year-olds living alternately with their parents after a separation show less behavioral problems and psychological symptoms than those living mostly or only with one of the parents.

Marriage is hard. Realizing it’s time for a divorce might be even harder — especially when you add children, combined bank accounts, and the fact that we are all human (and thus filled with all the emotions) into the mix. Anything — from puppies to asshole partners — can lead people to realize divorce is really the only option. These women prove there’s nothing wrong with that.

1. “I knew that I would eventually have to get divorced when my son’s father threatened to call the cops on me for ‘stealing’ his car. I didn’t have my own vehicle yet as I had recently relocated stateside with our 2-year-old. We would have to wait for my husband to get home from work to do anything. He didn’t feel like doing anything that day but, you know…kids gotta do stuff. So I took our son to the park and he got irate.” –Della, 32

Advertisement – Continue Reading Below

2. “I was sitting in a therapist’s office the moment I knew I was getting divorced. My husband and I had been on the rocks for a while and had decided couples counseling was a better alternative than becoming married roommates. Our therapist suggested we start seeing other people while we were separated and trying to work out the future of our relationship. As the therapist suggested we see other people, I felt this huge sense of relief — and my heart sank because I knew that this was the beginning of the end. I lucked out, though, my ex-husband is a wonderful human and still one of the kindest friends I have.” –Keisha, 35

3. “The moment I knew I was getting a divorce was when my mother-in-law faked a stroke (she had a panic attack, according to the doctor) and my husband believed her.” –Jenn, 38

4. “My marriage was abusive, and we both had drug problems. One day, I went into a dog store and this tiny weird looking dog in the corner – two pounds, all ears, got up when he saw me. I called my husband to ask about adopting him, but he said, ‘No, you already have a dog and we’re broke.’ It was that moment I knew we were going to get a divorce. I thought, ‘Fuck that. I’m going to have this dog longer than my marriage.’ So I maxed out two credit cards to buy the dog, that’s how broke we were. I couldn’t take care of a dog and be on drugs, so I went to rehab, came back for my dog, and the dog and I moved in with my mother. That was 9 years ago. We’re still together and I miss nothing about my husband.” –Rebecca, 35

5. “The moment I knew I was getting a divorce was when I gathered the strength to not believe him when he said he would change. He’d said this for years, yet his abusive and controlling behavior hadn’t changed yet, so why would it ever?” –Sharon, 37

6. “I first realized divorce was a real possibility about a month after I found the right medications to treat my anxiety and depression. I was capable of genuinely enjoying life for the first time since childhood, but any time I shared these feelings with my husband I could see that he resented me for it. I’d gotten the sense before that he didn’t like me as much when I was happy — especially for reasons that didn’t involve him — but once I was happy on a regular basis it became clear that I was not just imagining it.” –Lauren, 32

7. “I knew my marriage was over when another man was able to take my attention away from my husband. We had it all, but I wanted more.”–Nicole, 31

8. “The acute moment when I knew I had in fact failed at marriage came on September 11th. My husband and I were living in DC and he ran a business near the White House and mall where all of the important Federal buildings are located. I was away for the weekend. I heard the news on TV and got a message from the airline that my flight would be canceled that day. Instead of wondering if Chris was alright, I called the store where he worked to ask him if he would call my work office and tell them that I wouldn’t be in tomorrow because my flight was cancelled. When I heard the disappointment in his voice when I finally reached him on the phone, I knew he was right when he said that if I loved him properly I would be calling him to make sure he was alright in this moment of extreme trauma, not to selfishly ask him to do me a favor and call my work to state the obvious. I knew I was too young and too selfish at that point in my life to be as good to him as he deserved. Shortly after that, I told him that I was leaving.” –Nicole, 39

9. “We were drinking buddies before we were husband and wife, and I had spent the better part of a year trying to get sober. We had an anniversary that summer and I relapsed at dinner which led to a pretty bad binge that lasted a week. Afterwards, I had to be hospitalized for to the withdrawals. He was pissed at me for going to the hospital and dropped me of at the curb shaking and unable to stand. When he came back to pick me up from my hospital stay, he was completely wasted. At that moment, I knew that if I wanted to get sober, if I wanted to live I had to leave him.” –Jillian, 32

RELATED:

7 Things Every Couple Should Do Before Considering Divorce

34 Alternatives to Couples Therapy That Will Strengthen Your Relationship

Your (seemingly innocent) daily habits—like scrolling through Insta in bed—could be destroying your marriage. “Research shows that there are a lot of little things people do that can indicate serious problems in relationships,” says Carrie Cole, a couples therapist and certified Gottman master trainer at the Center for Relationship Wellness in Houston. The good news? Even if you’re having problems now, it doesn’t mean you’re headed for divorce. A recent survey found that couples are more likely to try to work things out—and break the bad habits they’ve developed—than they were even 10 years ago. Here, 8 bad habits that couples therapists say can easily break up a marriage.