When a child goes missing, there is no playbook

By Kristi Ramsay, CNN

Updated 2102 GMT (0502 HKT) July 22, 2013

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Michaela Joy Garecht – Witnesses saw a man grab 9-year-old Michaela Joy Garecht outside a store near her home near Oakland, California, in November 1988. Here, Michaela is seen in a childhood photo next to an image of what she might look like today. If you have seen Michaela or any of the faces in this gallery, please contact your local FBI office or call 1-800-THE-LOST.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Ashley Summers – The discovery of the three young women missing for a decade in Cleveland immediately raised hopes for Ashley Summers, who went missing in July 2007 at age 14 within blocks of the other three. Here, she is shown next to an age-progressed rendering of her on the right.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Christina Adkins – Christina Adkins was last seen in Cleveland in January 1995. She was 18 years old and five months pregnant when she disappeared.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Jessica Heeringa – Jessica Heeringa, 25, was abducted in April from an Exxon station in Norton Shores, Michigan, where she was working alone, sometime around 11 p.m., police said. Police have released a sketch of the suspect, described as a white male, about 6 feet tall, between 30 and 40 years old, with wavy hair parted in the middle.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Madeleine McCann – Madeleine McCann was a few days shy of her 4th birthday when she disappeared during a 2007 family vacation in Portugal. Despite a huge police investigation and massive media coverage, she remains missing.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Haleigh Cummings – Haleigh Cummings, 5, was reported missing from her family's home in Satsuma, Florida, in February 2009. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children released the age-progressed photo to show what she might look like at age 8.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Amir Jennings – Eighteen-month-old Amir Jennings was last seen with his mother in Columbia, South Carolina, in November 2011. Both were reported missing by a family member in early December 2011. Amir's mother was located a few weeks later after she was involved in a car accident. Amir was not in the car. Amir's mother has been convicted of being involved in the toddler's disappearance, but the boy has yet to be found.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Morgan Nick – Six-year-old Morgan Nick went missing in June 1995 after playing with other children after a Little League game in Alma, Arkansas. Police believe Morgan was abducted by a stranger.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Kara Kopetsky – When high school junior Kara Kopetsky didn't come home from school one day in May 2007, her parents filed a missing person report. Police in Belton, Missouri, told them they believed she was a runaway and would return in a few days. Shortly before she vanished, she told her parents her former boyfriend was stalking her.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Kyron Horman – Seven-year-old Kyron Horman was last seen in June 2010 at his Portland, Oregon, elementary school after attending a science fair. While there has been intense speculation surrounding the boy's stepmother, who told police she dropped him off, no charges have been filed in the case and no one has officially been named a suspect.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Lisa Irwin – Lisa Irwin's father arrived at their Kansas City home from work to find the door unlocked, the lights on and a window tampered with. Lisa's mother said she last saw the 11-month-old the evening before. Dozens of investigators, including police and FBI personnel, have conducted numerous searches for the missing girl but have come up empty.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Isabel Celis – Six-year-old Isabel Celis's parents reported her missing in April 2012, telling Tucson, Arizona, police that she vanished from her room in the middle of the night. There are no suspects in her disappearance.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Jacob Wetterling – Jacob Wetterling was abducted at gunpoint in October 1989 at age 11 near his home in St. Joseph, Minnesota, near St. Cloud. His mother, holding a photo of her son, remains hopeful that he will be found alive.

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Photos:The faces of some of America's missing

Still missing: Christopher Abeyta – Christopher Abeyta was only 7 months old when he was taken from his crib in 1986. This year, his family announced a $100,000 reward for help in finding Christopher, who would be 27 today and may look like the image rendering on the right.

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Story highlights

When a child goes missing, a community comes together

CNN editor Kristi Ramsay participated in search for missing girl

You have to ignore "what if" scenarios in order to stay focused, she says

Behind every missing child poster is a similar heartache

Most parents have felt the pain of having a missing child, if only for a few seconds.

They lose sight of their child at the park or at the grocery store or at the mall. Fortunately for most moms and dads, as soon as the knot forms in their stomach, they lock eyes with their kid.

Working in the media, I've followed the cases that get national attention. I've watched the press conferences and the family statements.

Last week, however, I had the heart-wrenching experience of finding out what happens in between the media updates -- what it feels like when this is real life.

A sweet 14-year-old girl who babysat my son in the church nursery was missing.

She'd left home without her parents' permission to meet up with a boy she connected with online. That was on Monday. The boy said he never went to their rendezvous point, a park, and as of Thursday, the young girl still had not come home.

The days in between were grueling for those involved in the search. I cannot fathom the depth of emotion her parents experienced.

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Police never suspected foul play and thought the girl might have run away.

That scenario was both frustrating and encouraging. It was frustrating because the family did not think she intended to be gone long. She didn't bring anything with her. No phone, no keys, no money. It was encouraging because it was the best case scenario. Maybe she "just" ran away. Maybe she was fine -- angry, confused, and unaware of how loved she is -- but fine.

The conversations that unfolded were surreal. We talked to a detective about the possibility she was involved in sex trafficking or abducted or even worse. We had to avoid focusing on the "what ifs" in order to stay focused on the search.

When word got out, the community rallied around the missing teen and her family. We plastered the city with fliers and canvassed her last known whereabouts. People who had never met the family joined the search. Dozens of homeless people in the area helped out. As the story spread on social media, people around the world sent words of support.

Those of us on the ground did everything we could think of, all while having no idea what we were doing.

Three days after the girl went missing, I was helping plan a prayer vigil. We didn't know where to begin. There was no guide. We "guessed" the parents should speak first, before things got too emotional. But what should they say? How do we get the word out? How long should it go? We didn't know the answers to these questions.

The prayer vigil never happened. About an hour before it was to begin, the young girl was located. She had run away, and she was home now.

For the media, that's where the story ends. A quick update to tell local TVviewers everything is OK.

For the friends assisting with the search, there was a huge sense of relief. There were hugs, tears, and then the exhaustion and gravity of the week hit. We laughed -- about how much trouble this girl is in, about how much wine we planned to drink.

After this experience, I'll never look at news of a missing child the same.

I will hold this experience close the next time an e-mail about a missing child crosses my inbox.

I will remember the reality behind the story.

Each missing child poster represents a family in heartache and a community at a loss.