Should This Reader Celebrate Christmas with Her Boyfriend's Family…Even Though He Won't Be There?

Around this time of year, we start hearing familiar questions and worries about spending the holidays with significant others' families. Whose family should we visit? What should I wear? Do I bring gifts? TK. But this reader has a dilemma I've never heard before! I'm curious to know what advice you guys will have for her.

She writes: "I recently moved to Europe for grad school (to the same country most of my boyfriend's family lives in). He lives overseas for work. I don't come from a background of celebrating Christmas and I think his mum is going to invite me to spend the holidays with them...but my bf won't be there. We have only been together a year and a half....what should I do?? Miss out on seeing what Christmas is all about, or go and maybe feel awkward (only 2 people speak English) or even worse, have them think he and I will be getting married soon??"

Here's my two cents: You've certainly got a lot of factors here that could make this a weird situation--your boyfriend won't be there, you don't traditionally celebrate Christmas, and most obviously, the language barrier!--but I still think you should go! It's really sweet of his mom to invite you to be a part of their family celebration even though your guy can't be there. It shows she cares about you as a person, not just tolerates you because her son loves you. And even though you don't traditionally celebrate Christmas, it's really thoughtful of her to remember you're in a new place where you might not know many people. Plus, it seems like you're curious to see what their Christmas celebration is like, and it's always fun to learn about traditions you didn't grow up with!

To minimize awkwardness, you could set a time limit for how long you can be there. Don't drop in for a mere ten minutes or anything, but when you accept the invitation just tell his mom something along the lines of, "Thanks so much for having me. I'd love to come for lunch at 2, but I'll only be able to stay until 6 because I made previous plans with my friend." That way, you're not committing yourself to sticking around all day, and you can handle a few hours even if it's a little uncomfortable. Plus, I would guess that the English-speaking family members will take you under their wings and make sure you can communicate and understand what's going on. You can ask about their Christmas traditions, and tell them about the special things you did with your family growing up. And when there's a language barrier, just smile. It's universal.

As for his family taking it to mean you guys are on the marriage track, well, you can't exactly control their thoughts, but you can control any pressuring conversation about it. Just be prepared if there are any inappropriate questions about your future with a reply like, "I think your son is wonderful and I'm very happy with him, but I'm concentrating on my education before I think about things like marriage."

OK readers, time for your two cents: What would you do in this situation? Go check out the Christmas celebration or politely decline? Has anyone ever celebrated a holiday with a significant other's family without the significant other?