All Valentines

NEW!You're gorgeous... and I'm not just saying that because you're rich and dying

35

NEW!I'm so glad I met someone who likes getting blackout drunk as much as I do

34

NEW!You're worth more than just a late night text... so here's a free e-card

33

NEW!Good thing you're so hot, because what I found out while Googling you is really scary (female)

32

NEW!Good thing you're so hot, because what I found out while Googling you is really scary (male)

30

NEW!There should be a Facebook relationship status for "occasional drunk sexting"

29

NEW!Your livetweets of this date are almost as witty as mine

28

NEW!You look like a guy who could stay in with a movie or go out and turn into a hot, ripped werewolf

27

NEW!This Valentine's Day, let's pretend you forgot how to talk

26

NEW!You smell like my mom's church perfume

25

NEW!This expensive jewelry should convince you not to judge my misshapen genitals

24

NEW!I can't wait to pretend your tramp stamp is Jessica Alba's face

22

NEW!You make me want to poke holes in the condom (male)

23

NEW!You make me want to poke holes in the condom (female)

20

NEW!I was going to bring you candy but I don't think you really need it (male)

21

NEW!I was going to bring you candy but I don't think you really need it (female)

19

NEW!This Valentine's Day...I might be ready to settle for you

01

Sorry I stare at you in the elevator, but I'm trying to imagine our babies

02

Why don't we get your wife out of the picture

03

If I could talk to the opposite sex, I would probably tell you that you are pretty cute

04

You should probably ask me out because my Daddy is in the Mafia and he doesn't like it when I'm upset

05

If you won't be my Valentine I'll just go sleep with that other guy I call sometimes

06

I know I cheated on you but since I'm not dating anyone else yet do you still want to do it sometimes

07

I'm considering admitting to my friends that we're dating

08

Read into this gift of Febreze however you want

09

This Valentine's Day, I'll pretend to like your cat if you'll shut the hell up for a while

10

I think this is the year we're finally ready to see each other naked (for straight guys)

10Q

I think this is the year we're finally ready to see each other naked (for gay guys)

11

I think this is the year we're finally ready to see each other naked (for straight ladies)

11Q

I think this is the year we're finally ready to see each other naked (for queer ladies)

12

Dating you to piss off my parents turned out pretty o.k.

13

Are you into pain? Oh good, me neither

14

Stop Farting

15

Secretly I'm upset that you're not Edward from Twilight

16

Please never raise your self-esteem enough to leave me

18

I know it's our first date but there's room in my apartment for all your stuff. Just saying.

36

NEW!You're gorgeous... and I'm not just saying that because you're rich and dying

35

NEW!I'm so glad I met someone who likes getting blackout drunk as much as I do

34

NEW!You're worth more than just a late night text... so here's a free e-card

33

NEW!Good thing you're so hot, because what I found out while Googling you is really scary (female)

32

NEW!Good thing you're so hot, because what I found out while Googling you is really scary (male)

30

NEW!There should be a Facebook relationship status for "occasional drunk sexting"

29

NEW!Your livetweets of this date are almost as witty as mine

28

NEW!You look like a guy who could stay in with a movie or go out and turn into a hot, ripped werewolf

27

NEW!This Valentine's Day, let's pretend you forgot how to talk

26

NEW!You smell like my mom's church perfume

25

NEW!This expensive jewelry should convince you not to judge my misshapen genitals

24

NEW!I can't wait to pretend your tramp stamp is Jessica Alba's face

22

NEW!You make me want to poke holes in the condom (male)

23

NEW!You make me want to poke holes in the condom (female)

20

NEW!I was going to bring you candy but I don't think you really need it (male)

21

NEW!I was going to bring you candy but I don't think you really need it (female)

19

NEW!This Valentine's Day...I might be ready to settle for you

14

Stop Farting

15

Secretly I'm upset that you're not Edward from Twilight

16

Please never raise your self-esteem enough to leave me

01

Sorry I stare at you in the elevator, but I'm trying to imagine our babies

05

If you won't be my Valentine I'll just go sleep with that other guy I call sometimes

03

If I could talk to the opposite sex, I would probably tell you that you are pretty cute

13

Are you into pain? Oh good, me neither

09

This Valentine's Day, I'll pretend to like your cat if you'll shut the hell up for a while

12

Dating you to piss off my parents turned out pretty o.k.

08

Read into this gift of Febreze however you want

06

I know I cheated on you but since I'm not dating anyone else yet do you still want to do it sometimes

10Q

I think this is the year we're finally ready to see each other naked (for gay guys)

07

I'm considering admitting to my friends that we're dating

02

Why don't we get your wife out of the picture

Here at AwkwardValentines.com, we don't like to feel emotions. They're messy and lead to heartache and restraining orders. Still, we understand that sometimes you just need to put it out there, and what braver way to say something than through an ecard? AwkwardValentines.com is the most convenient way to awkwardly say anything to your loved or not-so-loved ones around Valentine's Day. From booty calls to breakups, from love to hate, from boyfriend to girlfriend-of-your-best-friend, we've got you covered. Let Johnny the Awkward Cupid send a card via email to everyone you know. They're funny and they're free!