Monday, March 9, 2015

Are
the wishes coming a day late? Well you can’t blame me. Yesterday, on the
occasion of International Women’s Day, I wanted to wish all the women I know, a
very happy day, but I just couldn't.

By
the time I could reach my writing space (read laptop); I was smothered by the
numerous Happy Women’s Day messages on my cell. Some eulogising the power of
women, some their intelligence, some giving words to every alphabet of WOMEN,
each outdoing the other in qualities, some making me feel small in not doing
enough, while some holding me responsible for being a man and thus making me
evil. I tried to keep aside the insinuations, and made bed-tea for my wife. She
looked at the hot cup of tea and gave me a look which said, “Its Sunday Honey, just
what was the hurry to wake me up? But now that you have, let me gulp in
down...” I gulped the look and kept quiet.

I
tried to think of all the women who have contributed to who I am today – my
mother, my aunt, my cousin sister/s, other relatives who used to gossip in
front of me (which I loved!), one of my class teachers on whom I had a terrible
crush (did I say ‘had’?), my friends who were girls, and the girl-friend which
I never had (at least she/they didn’t think if it that way), my close female relatives,
my female colleagues, Hema Malini to Helen, Elisabeth Taylor & Marilyn
Monroe to Demi Moore, and before I get carried away - my wife, my mother-in-law,
my daughter and my female students – phew! That sure is a long list of women
who have contributed to who I am. By the time I could come out of this long
list, it was time for the break-fast tea, which I made for my wife which she
had without any comment or look – saved my day!

How
much all these women have contributed to who I am. But just what have I done in
return? All I did was respect them for who they were? I did give space to each
of the women I knew, so much so, that some even usurped that space as theirs
and I was suddenly in no-man’s land! But nothing of the ‘man’ today, I told
myself, keep you masculinity in the cupboard, today is Women’s Day! Soon it was
time for the third cup of tea and I kept my thoughts aside and made a steaming
cup of tea for my wife. She spoke with her eyes, and they weren’t quite
approving of my cup along with it, which rebuked me for having a cup of tea too
many, but she took hers and spared me the reprimand! I could safely go back to
my musings on Women!

Coming
back to the numerous WhatsApp messages, I wondered, just what were each
messages trying to do? Each was trying to eulogise the super-woman in a woman.
She was a Savitri, Draupadi, Rani of Jhansi, Mother Teresa, Helen of Troy and
Chanda Kochhar – all rolled in one. She managed the house and the home, the
children and the husband along with the in-laws, and successfully worked in the
office giving a though time to all the men in the office. She wore pants
everywhere, not just at home. She could handle a PTA and a Board meeting with
equal élan! She is a doctor with empathy, a housewife who decides on what her
husband will wear to work, never forgets to give the medicines to the
mom-in-law, helps her child in her homework, and is indispensable at work, smiling
all through this and all she has is a glass of milk with some Protinex and all
she expects is some respect. Oops, it was time for my wife’s evening cup of tea
and so I decided to take a break. She was about to wake up after her afternoon
siesta on a Sunday and if she overslept it would cause immense trouble getting
sleep at night, so need a break!

Just
why does the woman of today even cater to such banalities? Why do we expect her
to be a superwoman and not just a woman, who too wants to laze on a Sunday, put
up her feet and read the newspaper with a hot cup of tea (my wife is done with
her quota of tea, by the way!)? Why can’t she just keep the house a trifle
dirty without people sniggering at her? Why can’t the house not be in order, if
someone walked in without informing? Why can’t a little dust on the telephone
not make a statement on her ability to keep the house clean? Why can’t she get
away by not sending new-stuff everyday in her daughters Tiffin to school? Why can’t
she be just a normal woman, who gets up in the morning and goes to work like
any other man, without having to worry about the day’s menu? Why can’t her
irritations and anger at work not be credited to PMS, but on the inefficiencies
of the men around her?

My
idea of a woman is not that of a superwoman. I like a normal woman, who has her
mood-swings, feels lazy on a Sunday, expects to be taken out for dinner all of
a sudden even if dinner is ready at home, decides what to do and what not, and
feels normal, not guilty. I think that’s what a woman wants, not eulogies of
sacrifice and duty. She wants to feel like an individual and not a robot who
can handle every aspect of life. She doesn’t want to be in control by deciding
what colour tie her husband should wear for the Board meeting, but would rather
have her husband tell her that a particular shade of red goes well with her
mood today! She is sick of the portrayal of being perfect; she’d rather be
purr-fect and not feel guilty about it. She is tired of being so good that she can’t
falter, she is willing to make mistakes. Let the world allow her to live as she
wants and not as he wants.

And
that’s when I realised it was getting late for my wife’s bed-tea! Did I take so
long to reminisce? Oops! Happy women’s day to all you women, trifle late
though, who want to be just normal and not supernaturally different!!

Finally
what saved my day was another WhatsApp

message which had a bowing woman say –
You mean to say the rest of the days aren’t Women’s Days? Challenge Accepted!

About Me

Utkarsh has qualifications in Mythology, both Indian and World from Mumbai University. He is also a faculty on the subject of Comparative Mythology, at the Mumbai University, India. Utkarsh is also a regular trainer and lecturer on varying subjects at private organisations and educational institutions.

Utkarsh has more than 2 decades of experience in Sales and Business Development of IT products and solutions. He has worked with some of the well known IT organisations, some being start-ups, in India. Utkarsh is also a regular trainer and lecturer on varying subjects at private organisations and educational institutions.

Besides his Blog he is also a content provider to a few portals on similar subjects. Some of his short stories have been published in the well known literary story Blog, called LITIZEN. Utkarsh has also written a book on the subject of mythological-fiction, and working on another one, both of which are expected to be published in the next few months.