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'24:' 'The only traitor is your father'

March 15, 2010 | 10:56
pm

It was one big screw-up after another for CTU and the NYPD on Monday night's "24." So much to recap from the absurd to the absolutely preposterous that it's hard to know where to begin. We'll just take it from the top.

The hour opens with President Omar Hassan's daughter Kayla still with her lover, Tarin, the chief security aide to Hassan who was arrested on suspicion of treason only to escape and reunite with her. She believed he was innocent -- actually we all did -- but turns out he is in fact a turncoat. CTU learns this and lets President Hassan and his wife know and they get word to Kayla, but it's too late. Tarin figures out she knows the truth and proceeds with his plans to kidnap her. Kayla locks herself in the bathroom and manages to open a window (side note, when was the last time you were in a four star hotel that had windows that opened?) but not wide enough to escape.Tarin kicks down the door and drags her with him.

Fortunately CTU and the NYPD know where Tarin is and they race to the hotel the couple is hiding out. Unfortunately, they completely mess it up. While en route to the hotel, Bauer pisses off the NYPD contact by trying to boss him around with his orders. The cops decide to take matters into their own hands and try to capture Tarin on their own. Apparently the NYPD didn't bother wearing vests, because Tarin shoots them all. Then he gets out on the street where one of his associates takes out another two cops with head shots even though both are wearing helmets. Yeah, I didn't believe it either. Tarin and Kayla and the associate take off into the night with Bauer and Cole in hot pursuit.

Tarin and Kayla lose Bauer in a chase to the Lower East Side. I must say, the producers seem to have forgotten that New York is the city that never sleeps. All the streets are empty, and its only 3 a.m. Don't they know that's party time in the LES?

Tarin and Kayla meet up with the rest of the merry band of IRK terrorists in an abandoned bank vault and contact President Hassan. The ransom they want is a secret file Hassan has outlining weaknesses in the U.S.' nuclear defense systems. With it, they can transport the weapons grade uranium they have sitting outside the city and build their dirty bomb.

Hassan and CTU aren't too hot on coughing up the file even if his daughter's life is in the balance. That's OK, because the kidnappers know this too. Tarin turns back into a good guy and rescues Kayla and gets her out of the bank and onto the street. He's shot by his associates and she races off into the night.

But nooooo. Turns out Tarin's not a good guy again after all. He faked his own death and Kayla is now racing to CTU with a bomb in her car. She's also talking on her cellphone without using a headset too. CTU directs her to their headquarters, which apparently is at the end of a secret tunnel under the East River since she literally rolls right into their offices. CTU tries to disarm the car but it blows up. Unfortunately, it looks like Dana Walsh will survive.

Walsh, by the way, is being stalked by a parole officer doing his best Columbo impersonation in interrogating her about the disappearance of her ex-boyfriend, Kevin. How this guy can just roam around CTU without being shot is beyond me.

There is one scene in the episode that sums up the complete insanity of what is likely the final season of "24." After losing Kayla and Tarin in the hotel, after not being able to find them in the abandoned bank and after having nothing to do with her escape from her kidnappers, CTU chief Brian Hastings says, "Good work, people." What the heck is he talking about?

After the bomb goes off, Bauer tells Cole they need to contact the National Security Agency. Agreed. Turn this one over to the professionals.