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November 25, 2014

A White Girl's Reflection on The Ferguson Protests

Last night, I watched as the "peaceful protest" turned into a night of destruction and chaos. I have so many different emotions surfacing in regards to this horrible situation and I figured that I would put them here on the blog. I am not looking to place blame or pass judgement on Darren Wilson. I am only trying to work through it all and figure out how to describe my emotions. Also, the title of this post is not meant to be inflammatory. If you find it offensive- please know that was never my intention.

I am heartbroken for the parents of Michael Brown Jr. for so many reasons. I am heartbroken that their child is gone. I am heartbroken that they feel that the system failed their child. But most of all, I am heartbroken that their child's name will forever be linked to the unwarranted destruction that happened in his name.

I am crushed that the violent protesters of Ferguson feel that they have no other recourse than to destroy their own community. Watching the looting and vandalism of businesses that had nothing at all to do with the decision set forth by the Grand Jury- I was infuriated. Ferguson is a community of people that need more job opportunities. What happened last night set them even further back. There are people waking up today with no where to go to work... right before the holidays. I am frustrated that the peaceful protesters are being overshadowed by the burning buildings and looting by opportunists. The media coverage of last night shows that the flames and broken bottles are more important than the people who came out to protest in a respectful and responsible way.

I am saddened from reading social media updates from my friends. I feel separated from my black friends for being white and having white offspring. I do understand how it feels to have a child. I know what it feels like to fear that harm would ever come to them. I know that I plan to raise my children to avoid situations that could put them in harm's way. Just like any parent, I hope that I can provide my children with the education that will keep them from turning to a life of drugs and violence. I will try my best to teach them how to protect themselves and to respect authority figures. I will do everything in my power to keep my children safe in an apparently broken system. I am sorry that my friends feel that I can't understand how they feel. To those friends, I love you and your children and I hope our children can work together to make REAL changes for their future.

I am embarrassed that the world is watching as we destroy our communities with disrespect for each other and our governing bodies. It appears that as a nation, we cannot provide citizens with a system that is fair and balanced. I feel that our judicial system is so bogged down by favors and loopholes that it no longer works when it needs to.

I have read that more demonstrations and protests are planned in the following days. I pray that they are peaceful and that the destruction has come to an end. It is time to focus on making changes in how we raise our children. The first thing we should do is to teach them by modeling the appropriate respect for each other and respect for our communities.

"I also know that I plan to raise my children to avoid situations that could put them in harm's way." - Carly, I know you don't mean to offend but you don't think we're trying to do the same for our children? We err so much on this line as Black parents that we give our five year old sons talks about why they can't act up with their friends in school because they're the ones singled out. That's something that you're not doing I'd just imagine. "I am sorry that my friends feel that I can't understand how they feel." - Can you really understand how that feels when your five year old doesn't get it and you can't really explain it and everyone's heart hurts because of it???

Kendra- I am sorry that maybe you took that out of context. I never meant for you to think that I do not think that you are doing the same. I was just saying that WE have a lot in common. Both of us as parent understand how hard it is to raise kids in this world. Please do not look for anything in this post other than a supportive statement for all races and all families.

I don't think you meant it to be but it's how I read it. It just feels like you're saying that you can. It hurts but I read/feel that we can't because we're trying so hard to do it but almost every situation can be one that puts them in harm's way. It's just that as much as I would love to think we're all the same, we have to raise our children differently. We think about things you would never think.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts Carly. I know it was not easy. My heart breaks for the parents of Michael Brown and every other young person lost in such a tragic way. I too am beyond laying blame.

As a country and as people, we need serious change on many issues race and class issues being two major ones. I pray as parents we all have the chance to raise our children and not worry about them being singled out.

As a mom of a daughter this is hard to process but as a soon to be mom of a young brown boy, I can't wrap my head around how I will deal with so many realities he may face.

In light of it all, I am hoping we can work on these issues as a combined community. I'll stop here because I could go on and on. Thanks again for sharing.

A thoughtful commentary on this shameful episode. I don't think people realize how much the media shapes opinion and attitudes by the way they deliver news. You are correct, there was plenty of peaceful and dignified protests, they should have been the news. All the looting and rioting makes me think St Louis just won the Stanley Cup.