Bachelorette Parties Are A Legit Reason You Can't Afford A Home

No one wants to be the wet blanket that says "no."

They're costing us tens of thousands of dollars, and that's not even factoring in the actual weddings.

Find me a person who doesn’t have a soft spot in their hearts for genital-shaped baked goods, and I will eat an entire tray of genital-shaped baked goods. That is to say, bachelorette parties have been a time-honored tradition since the 1960s, when women realized men had been hogging all the debauchery since as early as 500 B.C.

By all means, letting loose with your besties as a way to celebrate the end of an era can be terrific fun. But can we all just be honest with each other for just one second? This shit’s getting out of hand.

In the not-too-distant past, bachelor and bachelorette parties used to be a one-night hurrah falling somewhere on a scale of "one-too-many Long Island iced teas" to “That stripper made me feel some feelings!” But somewhere along the way, the one-nighter turned into a two-nighter in Vegas, which turned into a four-nighter in Austin, which is now a week-long trip in Tulum.

Plus, not only are you expected to abide by the bride-to-be’s insistence on everyone wearing a black dress on Friday night while she wears white, but you’re now supposed to shell out for custom tank tops and swimsuits that sport a punny hashtag; buy ALL the Instagrammable pool floaties you can get your hands on; and make sure everyone’s got a gallon vodka LaCroix’s within arm’s reach at all times.

This trajectory is making bachelor and bachelorette parties ridiculously costly—detrimentally, even. According to data compiled by wedding and lifestyle platform The Knot, destination bachelor parties average $1,532 per person and bachelorette parties average $1,106.

Real estate data company Zillow went on to crunch those numbers as it relates to the financial impact these benders take on the bigger picture, and the results are pretty eye-opening.

If the average person attends nine destination parties over the course of their life, they’ll end up spending about a third of what the average down payment on a house is nowadays.

Mind you, these numbers only account for the bachelor and bachelorette parties. This doesn’t include the wedding, which can be even more expensive if it requires travel. Plus, there’s the bridal shower. Plus, there’s the engagement party. Plus, there are the presents you need to get for all of the aforementioned celebrations.

And if you’re a member of the bridal party? Ooof. According to that same data, your special role is costing you an average of $1,154 for your outfit, hair and makeup, etc.

A wedding is, of course, a worthy reason to celebrate (if you're lucky enough to have that basic legal right.) But with the way things are headed, it appears they’re becoming a serious financial burden as well as a potential emotional one. And considering the fact that the ones effected by it are supposedly our closest friends, it’s something to consider during the planning phases.

On the bright side, this makes your avocado-toast habit seem totally innocuous in comparison, so go ahead and get at it.

Just not while you're on a bachelorette party, because that's just irresponsible.