How Do People Become Gay?

We are
frequently asked, "How does someone become
homosexual?" The question implies that all are born heterosexual
and some "become" homosexual somewhere along the way. I
believe that implication to be inaccurate.

It is
apparent that homosexuality does not have one particular
"cause." It is not purely genetic in origin, for instance,
because the very twin studies (Bailey and Pillard)
that some interpreted as "proving" a purely genetic origin of
homosexuality actually "disproved" it, because only 52% of
identical twins of homosexual persons were also homosexual. If
homosexuality were dependent on a particular "gay gene," both
twins should have possess that gene, and thus there should have been a
100% correspondence.

Significant
Link Between Biology and Homosexuality

However,
the study (and others like it) did find a highly significant link
between biology and homosexuality, as the incidence of homosexuality in
the general population is much lower than 52%. Personal experience
corroborates this link because among my homosexual acquaintances I know
of several families in which a number of relatives are also homosexual.
In one case, for instance (see
Gay
Sons), a father who believed that he had "become"
homosexual because he had been allowed to play like a girl and had grown
up without strong bonding with his father tried to make very sure that
his son did not grow up gay. So he spent a lot of time with him and made
sure that he only played "boy" games with "boy"
toys. In spite of all this effort, the son also turned out to be gay.

From my
wider studies, I conclude that a person finds him/herself with a
homosexual orientation as a result of the interplay of several factors,
including heredity, prenatal influence (a controversial subject, but
with not only animal studies but some human studies to back it), and
environmental factors such as childhood trauma or being brought up and
conditioned as a member of the opposite sex. The latter is the
background of a significant number of lesbians, for instance.

Ultra-conservative
Christians and gay theologians appear to agree that a genetic origin of
homosexuality has moral significance. Ultra-conservatives claim that
homosexuality has no basis in genetics and is therefore a morally
culpable choice. Gay theologians argue that homosexuality is
genetic and is therefore morally correct.

I
disagree with this basic reasoning.

Genetic
Traits Are Not Necessarily Morally Good

Hereditary
tendencies may be toward morally positive or negative behavior. The fact
that I inherited a strong streak of selfishness and a bad temper does
not sanctify these traits, for instance. While we are not responsible
for our heredity, we are responsible for what we do with our
heredity. And the Bible teaches that to whom much has been given, of
that one, much will be required. So God requires no more of one than the
other – a daily submission to His will. (Luke
9:23)

While
there seems to be strong evidence to point to a biological link to a
homosexual orientation, it is also very likely that, for some people, a
homosexual orientation develops as a result of psycho-sociological
factors. In other words, for some, homosexual orientation may be
altogether environmentally caused. (Conservative Christians have
generally taken the stance that all homosexuality is
environmentally caused.) I believe this to be especially true of
lesbianism, as there is little, if any, evidence to point to biological
origins. Yet, environmentally caused homosexuality is not experienced
any differently than biologically caused homosexuality. In either case,
persons find themselves with an overwhelming desire to be intimate with
members of the same sex when the whole world says that the normal
attraction is to the opposite sex. Despite the testimony of some in
today's generation who say they experience no feeling that this is
"wrong," I believe that most, if not all, gay persons
do experience this feeling initially. Thus, they do not choose to
be attracted to the same sex any more than the rest of us have chosen
to be attracted to the opposite sex.

Homosexuality
is Not a Choice

In
summary, homosexuality is not "caused" by a choice.
Some heterosexual men choose to engage in homosexual encounters and then
go back to their wives and the enjoyment of a heterosexual sex.
The young man who serviced their needs in some public washroom simply
shakes his head in wonder that such a thing is possible, for he cannot
conceive of such a choice. Several of my homosexual friends have
acknowledged that they know men who have chosen to engage in same-gender
sex exclusively -- and thus appeared to "become" homosexual.
But this is not the case for the majority. In fact, not a few
gay people are somewhat judgmental of those they call
"bisexual" -- people who can relate sexually to either gender
and enjoy it.