An off-duty police officer at a Metallica concert thought it would be a good idea to get R. Kelly on another fan's head and provide him with a golden shower. Yes, he peed on him.

Presumably, the piss recipient was not pleased, as the policeman was arrested for his actions. During the arrest, Joseph Houston, the cop, tried to use the “But I’m a cop!” routine, and it didn't quite work.

Now, if it had been me urinating on someone else, I'd be accused of disorderly conduct, assault, exhibitionism, public nudity, and maybe even resisting arrest. What Houston got was an accusation of ''trespassing'' (seriously, what the fuck?) and PAID LEAVE while the story blows over. Makes sense, yeah.

I've said it time and time again, and I'll keep repeating it until it gets in their stupid heads and they react accordingly: I come from a family of cops and military men. Stand Up Guys who did the Right Thing because it was the only thing to do, because if you can't trust the Uniformed Men to uphold the law with higher moral standards than anyone else, the institution they represent loses its credibility.

When something like this happens, the cops shouldn't protect the asshole, they should get him into court and try him as they would anyone else; and when the sentence comes, it should be double what anyone else would receive - one time for the crime, one time for betraying the institution and the public they should be serving.

This would achieve two goals at once: 1. it would keep the weak-hearted and criminally-bent from even thinking of applying for a Service job, and 2. it would help restore the public's faith in an institution that has seemed to be more vile and wrong than even the mob for the past 40 years, with each passing day bringing a new news story of abuse of power, corruption, criminal activity and/or bad decision-making.

You wear the suit, you are responsible for living accordingly - with respect for your fellow citizens, The Law, and the society you're living in. If not, we're no better than banana republic police states - and that would mean that, once in a while, a good riot would be in order, with deaths on all sides and maybe even some politicians' heads getting chopped off.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Some facts you know so well they get stuck behind your brain and you never bring them back in conversations. Some actually don't belong in any conversation.

And some websites rehash old known facts in case there are still people who aren't aware of History, and take a slightly humorous twist and cute kittens to drill their point in further.

One such site is cracked.com and this article, in particular, which exposes five still-existing mega-companies that have benefited from Nazi cash for providing them with, essentially, things they couldn't have existed/ruled/killed without.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Then there's the matter of keeping a record on the bastards, and having neighbours point at them and put their picture up all over town. Oh, I understand their crimes brings pain to families and individuals, but it just doesn't make all that much sense to me that we don't do that shit with murderers and mobsters and money launderers who have many more victims and notches on their belts. But that's a story/debate for another day anyway.

So... What I want to understand is why we must keep those Life Abusers off the internet... wouldn't you rather have them surf porn sites all day and masturbate and get it out of their system, or do you want those fuckers walking outside looking under women's dresses at the grocery store, wandering in school yards and basketball courts, showing their penis in public transit?

If anything, give them free internet, with subscriptions to all the porn sites. Keep them indoors with imaginary chicks, cut off their MSN feeds and such so they can't contact kids, but keep their asses, eyes and dicks glued to the screen.

The future is inherently a good thing. And we move into it one winter at a time.

Things get better one winter at a time. So if you're going to celebrate, have a drink on this: the world is, generally and on balance, a better place to live this year than it was last year.

Those are the words of Spider Jerusalem, writer Warren Ellis' take on a Hunter S. Thompson-like journalist in the future; they are taken from the very last page of the fourth volume in the Transmetropolitan series, called The New Scum, in which a new President is elected to the U.S. Ironically, they were written and published in the year 2000.

Transmetropolitan currently sits atop my line of favourite books, along with other comics Preacher and The Walking Dead.

It's funny that I happened to read this volume again, for perhaps the tenth time, today, if only because tonight marked the final in a five-night series that I was outside putting up posters for a show happening on the 18th at La Sala Rossa, for supergroup Magic Christian, comprised of members of Flamin' Groovies and Blondie, among others.

Five nights during which I froze my balls in minus-30 weather, with a windchill I hadn't felt in years. And last night was the worst. I actually witnessed the temperature go down at least 5 degrees in mere seconds, with the swoop of one short blow of wind, at precisely 2:10AM. It was decently cold, with the wind providing extra chill to the fingertips, but without exaggeration, when out of the blue a tiny whirlwind of a weirdly milder wind came and took over Parc Avenue for a few seconds, just enough to make you realize something wasn't quite right, and as soon as it died off, it became colder than death in an instant.

It was yet another proof that Nature is a much stronger beast than we bipeds, but I know for one I didn't need any. It was also a reminder that February is coming at full speed and we Montrealers should just lock ourselves inside and hide/hibernate for 28 days and just order out, fuck, and play Playstation and let the whole world go right by past us for a month.

And if Jerusalem's/Ellis' words are to be true, it's so fucking cold out there right now that this particular winter should signify the death of the past decade completely - what with its 80s-revivals, shitty music, brand new and brand old wars, political tragedies and all-out fucking up of our way of Life - and bring about some actual, consistent, lasting change. For The Better (not sure why I need to add this in particular, but I've been unlucky with my wishes the past few years, in case you can't tell).

It's not in my genes, in my upbringing, in my habits. Perhaps it can be, although I'm quite happy being skeptical and realistic - but I'm actually hoping for Hope. It feels juvenile and stupid, but set against a backdrop of 100 km/h winds outside my window pushing a growing cemetary of white snow in minus-40 degree weather merely 5 inches from my face, a bottle of Jack Daniel's in my right hand, it's all I can muster up that feels right.

That, and putting this text to rest so I can go meet the Lady Of The House in bed.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Michael Farber, current ''hockey reference'' at Sports Illustrated and a few radio shows in dire need of guests, wrote a blog warning Vincent Lecavalier not to come play hockey in his hometown, for the Montréal Canadiens.

He notes a trade to the Habs would benefit both teams, but tells Lecavalier that the pressure might be too much to handle for a player of his calibre, what with the team being the most-followed team in the league, both by fans everywhere on the continent (and in Europe) and by the numerous (and bilingual) media outlets.

Farber, who was third-or-fourth-ranking hockey journalist when he worked for the Montreal Gazette, way behind Red Fisher, Pat Hickey, and that 'Monday Morning Quarterback' Todd guy, seems to think a top-5 player in the world, former 1st overall draft pick, Stanley CupandOlympic Gold-winner, two-time captain of the same team, has the same limitations he does and can't perform under pressure.

Would Troy Aikman have rather played in Alaska, or win 2 Super Bowls in Dallas? Would Mark Messier have been on the David Letterman show had he won the Cup with the New York Islanders rather than the Rangers? Don't baseball players line up to play for the Yankees and Cubs and Red Sox?

Yes, hockey is a religion in Montréal. What Farber doesn't seem to understand, though, is that the players are the Gods. Do you think José Théodore ever paid for a meal at Mike's? Do you think fans threw punches at Ryan O'Byrne on the street after he scored in his own net? Of course not: they told him to keep his head up and forget about it, they encouraged him.

Players here are revered. Who wouldn't want to win a championship on the winningest team ever, in its 100th season, full of fans who will follow their every move on the ice as they move towards a 400th-straight sellout crowd (rather than an empty building in the middle of nowhere)? Apparently, Farber wouldn't, and he thinks Lecavalier is from the same mold.

Part of their usual ''attempt to defend themselves'', these strikes are explained as being retaliation for members of Hamas shooting rockets into Israeli territory, which had caused 4 deaths. The death count on the other side has surpassed the few hundreds now, the injured are in the thousands, too many to count, and because Israelis are targetting police stations and hospitals as well as pre-determined 'terrorist harbors' - and they are still running after apparently very specific people that they cannot seem to find.

Which makes me think of two things... first: while they're at it, maybe they should keep an eye out for Osama Bin Laden...

Also... we should change the rules for cases like these to prevent ''accidental genocides'' as collateral damage, something along the lines of asking the invading/attacking country for a prelimiray list of suspects they intend to capture or ''accidentally'' kill, with a secondary list of perhaps a dozen more 'bonus' targets that they don't know names of but have a vague task description of what they do and how they could be a threat to your country and have it all be U.N.-approved - then they could be allowed a 10-to-15% margin of error on the total amount of kills; if they go over it, too bad, be more precise next time, and you're booted out of the country for at least 3 years.

I don't know. But they have to find a way to keep civilians out of it; it should be the goal of the 21st Century, to keep civilians out of wars. And leaders who order wars should be obligated to be right behind the front lines, too, like the leaders of old (Napoleon, good to remember you), and take direct responsibility for their stupid decisions.

Another thing: I went to a rally/march/protest last Sunday to show solidarity for the people of Gaza and Palestinians in general but quickly left it because it was getting too heavy, too intense. I was enjoying some of the metaphores used both vocally and on posters, such as ''You Can't Fight Terrorism With Terrorism'', but it seemed that for every street corner we were passing, the discourse was becoming more and more direct, violent, racist; going from ''Israeli Terrorists, Stephen Harper Accomplice'' to ''Jews Are Terrorists'' was not going to help anything, and I jumped ship right away.

We're in 2009 according to the Gregorian calendar. We have 5000 years of evolution, at least, from living to 25 years old, naked, hunting for our food, and having no manners. Women are treated as equals in most places, we're working on racism, we can write and count and invent things. We're also bordering on being too many, we can't even feed everyone decently, but at least we cry when we see starving children on TV.

And we're still fighting over the tiniest piece of fucking land that an imaginary being in the sky promised to two peoples. Take a quarter, have a draw; best of three. ''Winner'' gets to stay put in the desert. ''Loser'' gets Labrador, tons of readily available water and usable soil, a view of the ocean, and free winter jackets - decent compensation for losing God's gift.

We're all going to die anyway. There should be no fucking reason to make it quicker for some on purpose.

Friday, January 2, 2009

There's a nice page on the BBC's website about the 50th anniversary of the Cuban Revolution. It's rather complete for a one-page blurb, and offers insights into both sides of the long-standing argument, which are on one side that the Revolution actually brought freedom to Cuba, and on the other, the U.S.' opinion and pledge to ''free Cubans''.

Once more, the U.S.A. is alone on their side of the equation, pissed off that a tiny island can survive on its own despite a communist government and little else, 145 kilometers from their shores.

Reacting to the anniversary, a White House spokesman said the US continued to seek freedom for the Cuban people (...)

"The Castro brothers have not treated their people particularly well," said White House spokesman Gordon Johndroe on the eve of the anniversary.

"Many political dissidents are in jail. The economy is suffering and not free. And the United States will continue to try to seek the freedom of the people of Cuba, and support them."

Yeah. And people who disagree with the U.S.' policies for the past 60 years haven't... right. They wiretapped John Lennon, for fuck's sake. They imprison political dissidents daily with their Patriot Act, where they can abduct people from their homes without charging them with anything and have no rights to attorneys. Much better.

The article goes on to say

Fifty years on, the legacy of the revolution is complex. There is free education and health care but the state-controlled economy means wages for many Cubans are very low, on average about $20 to $25 a month.

yet doesn't mention that even the lowest wages amount is enough to provide with more essential stuff than welfare would in the U.S., and that the education and health care part will always be lacking in the States - and is going out of style in Canada too, as a matter of fact - along with the levels of quality it was known to have.

It also fails to mention that there are few nations and peoples as happy with their life as Cubans are - anywhere on earth. That a vast majority of them view the Castros and Che Guevara as both heroes and founding fathers, with an added touch of ideals to achieve and pride. That before this year, even natural disasters couldn't put a dent in the island's residents' spirit.

The article, though, mentions a kind of hope that change will occur, as Barack Obama could loosen up parts of the embargo, which would definitely be a step in the right direction.

So we solemnly celebrate 50 years of Freedom in Cuba, as the country was hit with its most difficult year in a long while, and hope for a much better one to come, and plenty more anniversaries in both the near and distant future. They have shown us that living on this planet can be done outside the American model without having to skimp human rights (unlike, say, China) and focusing on what is essential to create independent individual human beings - food, lodging, education and health care. Bravo.

Writer, mostly, in mediums diverse and similar: musician, film-maker, poet - not the bad type, nor the pretentious type. It's more that I suck at everything except producing words and shouting ideas at people. Oh, and I'm the guy who brings you UnPop Montreal yearly, helping the little guy get a voice in this variety-deprived city.