10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and
see what happens.

11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations
throughout store.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along
to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk,
anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and
Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples
here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 35. Run up to an employee (preferably
a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices
again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and
scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he
says when customers walk in.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good
bessie."

66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. If you&#8217;re female: Take some men&#8217;s clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try them on. Act
shocked and insist &#8220;But I AM a man&#8221; if the attendant says anything. If you&#8217;re a man, vice versa.

69. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren&#8217;t looking.

70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff
the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!"

73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into
a detailed description of your own problem.

74. While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of "Anusol" by covering up
the "OL" on the logo.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV&#8217;s to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly.

77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't
know you.

78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes
over wanting to use it, start crying.

79. One word: STREAK!

80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet
coke." Then go to Mc Donald's and try to return a toaster.

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are.

84. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities".

85. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

87. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you&#8217;re walking through the doors
act like you&#8217;re expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away
as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing
the circus song.