Prince George’s First Year, According to 31 Tabloid Captions

The Daily Mail, caption-contest newspaper of record, has been carefully and diligently following the 365 days of life that have occupied baby Prince George of Cambridge. During this year, the publication produced some of the most glorious descriptions of expression, action, drama, and comedy — all regarding the times of this wee fancy child.

Here are their best efforts:

31. Intrigued: Prince George is greeted with flowers and looks most perplexed as he examines them.

The Daily Mail points out that flowers are a foolish gift for a baby. The baby knows this, you know this — this caption just confirms.

30. 'He does love it honestly,' said William as his son threw the toy bilby on the floor.

14.First royal wave: Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge was born at 4.24pm, weighing a healthy 8lb 6oz. George arrived at the same Paddington Hospital that his father, Prince William, was delivered at 31 years earlier.

The Daily Mail saved all its information for one caption, which is this one.

This is a hard lesson, but the Daily Mail isn't afraid to teach it: you will be judged on your appearance, you will be given a number out of the number 10 for such a thing. It's never to early to assign these metrics.

5.Happy to be here, George? The Prince wore a cream cardigan over a white shirt, matching shorts and soft leather shoes and socks - ideal for a baby who had just started crawling.

That's really sweet, to ask that question. What kind souls.

4.Cry baby: He's bound to break a few hearts when he's older, but no one expected Prince George to get off to such an early start. Undertaking his first ever official engagement, the future king managed to reduce a young girl to tears by unwittingly making a grab at her arm.

Way to set up some expectations about future lady-killer qualities! Never not thinking into the future, this paper.