Nicola Morgan, the Crabbit Old Bat, is an award-winning author of around 90 books across many genres. For the last few years, she has given crabbitly honest advice to determined writers, here and in her books, WRITE TO BE PUBLISHED, WRITE A GREAT SYNOPSIS, DEAR AGENT and TWEET RIGHT.

Monday, 19 March 2012

What has Twitter ever done for you? (With a competition)

This post is to launch the NEW, updated version of Tweet Right. But wasn't the first one as perfect as a perfect thing? Well, of course. But then Twitter and Tweetdeck screens changed and suddenly there were bits in Tweet Right which no longer precisely applied. I'd wanted to be able to say, "You'll find that button to the top right of your screen" or, "It's the icon that looks like a red banana", but suddenly those instructions made me look as though I'd been hallucinating. Even when I hadn't.

So, I spent time and money rewriting it. Partly because I love you so much.

Anyway, it's done. So, please tell your friends who are on Twitter already or thinking about starting. It is at its heart a beginners' guide but there's also lots of stuff that some seasoned users might not know either. Especially those who are behaving badly with DMs and poor etiquette. *glares crabbitly* In fact, should you see anyone misbehaving, just suggest they buy Tweet Right and do us all a favour.

What has Twitter ever done for me?
It's been my office, without the office bore, the office flirt, and the office politics. (Mostly.)

Yes, but apart from that?

It's like a party, where I can talk to many people at once, not get pinned in a corner by the drunk boring flirt. And for which I needn't even get dressed. Or buy anyone drinks. In fact, we occasionally have Twitter parties where exactly that happens. Unless @gillian_philip is there, in which case a lot more happens.

Well, yes, but apart from that?

It answers questions for me, such as: if you're 6' 2" can you stand upright in an ambulance?

Yes, but what else?

It (or the people on it) helped me when my website was hacked and when my Mac caused me horrible, horrible problems.

And?

I found my ebook cover designer (@design4writers), my formatter (Becky Pickard of www.zebedeedesign.co.uk), two fab assistants who sadly can't work for me any more (@catoninetales and @bookshop_becky) and my brand new sparkly publicist (@mllouisekelly), as well as lovely @rebeccaebrown who handled the blog tour for Write a Great Synopsis. Another ace publicist, @cgotch who handled Write to be Published, is also there, though I'd known her from Before Twitter.

Yes, but apart from that?

I've made friends with authors, agents and publishers. Some of them gave me quotes for my books, some asked me to do events (which, largely through Twitter, have become a financial mainstay of my career), and several have said they'd like to publish me. All of them have been what good friends are: people who support me in good and bad times.

Yes, but...

If I have good news, someone on Twitter will always start telling people before I do, so I don't need to.

But apart from that?

If I'm doing an event, it's Twitter that spreads the word further and drums up most interest.

*getting bored now* And?

It's extremely amusing when @hprw puts her capering slippers on and cavorts all over people's keyboards, or when she is rude to @caroleagent and almost gets away with it, or when @mikejarman's thumbs get him into trouble.

You're almost convincing me, but what apart from that?

I got myself in the news when I accidentally created the No 1 worldwide trending topic, #lessinterestingbooks.

Pfffthp.

I sold a sofa.

SOFA?

Yup.

OH, WELL then!

So, competition time! Simply comment below, in no more than 140** characters including spaces, telling us what Twitter has ever done for you. It can be general or specific, amusing or serious. The winner will be randomly chosen (no skill required) on Good Friday, 6th April, midday GMT. And the prize? Chocolate! Your choice of any delicious bar from Coco of Bruntsfield, the very clever people who, when I moved from Bruntsfield, sensibly opened up a branch near my new abode. I will post your prize to any UK address. The choice is fabulous! My favourite is probably honey and almond, though I wouldn't say no to any of them, really... Just hinting.

(** Tip: check this by writing it in your tweeting space on Twitter?)

Details of Tweet Right and my books for writers (including various buying links) are here.

I work in isolation and care for my elderly father at home. Twitter provides the companionship of a working environment but without the office politics. I can tease and be teased, I can talk knitting and share the occasional recipe, get advice and encouragement, give and get a virtual hug and generally purrowl my way through the beginning and end of the day...and, best of all, there are writers there and they understand!

Carole - I'm glad you made the point about Liz NOT pitching to you on Twitter! Possibly the most important lesson for aspiring writers: do not pitch to agents on Twitter. Ever.

Also, I'm wondering if it's a condition that your clients, like you, must not like chocolate? Is this something that i should have said in Write to be Published? Do you mention this in From Pitch to Publication?

I've made friends, found enough information to realise that I rushed into self-publishing too early and the gumption to start again. Without Twitter I'd never know when comps were on or whose cat was ill. I've terminally alienated only one person which is sad but I didn't read your book. Don't enter me in the competition - but thanks for the opportunity to tell you this. Cam

Not going for the 140 characters as you said you only post the choccy to UK (boo!) but was so struck by the similarity of circumstances with catdownunder in that Twitter helped me when marooned at home looking after my elderly mother with dementia. I have also made a lot of good friends, though lost a few along the way because of Twitter's infuriating habit of unfollowing and blocking people when you haven't asked it to!

But all in all it's a marvel and I can't imagine how we all managed before it.

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