INTERNET RAMBLES

Ewww! Latest beauty craze is literally slimy

Treatment to keep skin looking young takes lots of guts to undergo

Patty Ann Malley is a wife, mother and wanderer. The youngest of eight in a family that was firmly planted in one spot, she’s spent the last 29 years changing addresses (but not husbands), following jobs. Her careers have included retail, advertising, public relations, restaurant, catechist and ad-hoc needs-must fill-in-the-blank. She’s gone from being a wild child to a child of God. Her eternal question (“Are we there yet?”) has yet to be answered.

Hold the puppy dog tails – at least for now – but prepare yourself for gross. The latest in beauty treatments may send you scrambling to your backyard, if only to begin a spa-start up. Snail slime is the IT thing. And we’re not talking escargot with smothering sauce.

Check out the following video to see what women – and men – are dropping big bucks on to stay fresh-faced:

Look to Japan and South America for leadership in this latest craze. “The rest of the world is still playing catch-up,” according to Times Live.

Moving at a snail’s pace perhaps, but slow and steady wins the race – especially if the slimy ones can deliver.

“Five years after an ominous unseen presence drives most of society to suicide,” IMBD describes, “a mother and her two children make a desperate bid to reach safety.”

The presence is ominous because seeing it makes a person crazy. Head-on crashes and window jumps abound. The movie solution is to go through life not looking. Literally. Bullock and cast do their utmost via blindfolds and blackout curtains to avoid certain death. Imagine driving to the grocery store using GPS alone. Curbs, corners – whoops! Stopping to consider what those road bumps are strictly verboten. And no peeking.

But fans want more. They want the experience. “To follow suit, people are taking on the #BirdBoxChallenge where they blindfold themselves to test their abilities to complete mundane tasks successfully such as riding a scooter, climbing an escalator and ordering drive-thru,” MSN reports.

Check out the fun in the following video:

That poor baby in the turquoise onesie. I can’t decide whether hitting the wall is worse or being subject to a lack of foresight by one’s own parent for the next 20 years. Okay, I can. Humans learn by trial and error, but still.

Maybe Netflix’s next thriller could revolve around human beings, saturated by pop culture, who are determined to devolve. Blindness and self-destruction doesn’t always require a blindfold.

Actor Christian Bale

Christian Bale – actor, chameleon

The conservative world is agog at Christian Bale. Christian Bale, the actor who thanked Satan on Sunday for inspiring his role as Dick Cheney in the satirical film “Vice.” The role won Bale a coveted Golden Globe, the only prize taken out of six nominations for the politically charged biopic.

What? How could Bale – who extolled Cheney as a laid-back, well-read family guy – only last month bash the man in front of Hollywood elites at the Golden Globe Awards?

“He was a wonderful family man – he’s a great dad, he’s an avid reader, he has a brain like a vice and he constantly reads history,” Bale told Fox News. “He was very laid-back. He would have been very happy to be a lineman in Wyoming if he hadn’t met Lynne (Cheney’s wife, played by Amy Adams in the film), who said to him, ‘No, that doesn’t cut it. You need some ambition.’ What would have been if they hadn’t met?”

Is Bale flip-flopping? A devil worshiper? Or is Bale (the actor) playing to the crowd and doing what needs must to garner applauds … and future jobs? Bale looks pretty gleeful during his acceptance speech.

You decide. Take a look at what the man said in the video below:

I’m sorry, but I don’t see Bale as bashing Cheney. Not at all. I see Bale continuing the premise of “Vice” which was, if we’re honest, a satire. A joke film. But Bale doesn’t joke when it comes to doing whatever is required to lend authenticity to a role.

What’s more startling? An actor continuing the satire of a recent, award-winning role or potentially damaging his body via starvation and gorging to please directors and fans. That artistic drive to be The Best can be a devilish task master.

When asked if he’s eager to undergo any more radical transformations, Bale had this to say: “Right. Yeah, I think I’m done – you know. Everything hurts. Everything hurts now. I’ve gotten really stout thinking if I can manage this again, and the answer is probably no.”

But words – and examples – have consequences whether we mean them or not. Not to advocate against free speech, but the so-called Church of Satan made the following endorsement on Twitter.

So, crowd or not, watch what you say. Watch what you do. Think ahead. Think. Bale may not be invoking the Horned One in seriousness, but the imitation monkeys are ever present. And the world doesn’t need this kind of #ViceChallenge.