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Kiss Me Guido

Bomb Rating:

When Christianity needed a commercial facelift, along came Catholicism.

I saw this movie back-to-back with "Kiss the Girls" and it made me realize that it won't be too soon before we see this film: "Tough, hard-bitten, San Francisco cop on verge of retirement (Robert DeNiro) takes one last case with brash, know-it-all rookie (Michael Rappaport), and is forced to come out of the closet as a bizarre murder investigation reveals his after hours whereabouts" (With apologies to Eamon J. Doyle). Shoot-outs, love interests, and car chases aplenty. Perfect title: "Rear-ended."

Anyway, in this film, about the twentieth or thirtieth gay-themed picture this summer, an Italian-American, Frankie (Nick Scotti), finds his brother Pino (Anthony DeSando) in bed with his girlfriend and decides to move out of his family's house. Thinking that "GWM" stands for "Guy With Money," he moves in with Warren (Anthony Barrile) only to discover that Warren and his extremely effeminate friends are G-A-Y.

To make a long story short, Warren and Frankie grow to appreciate each other's differences and become friends. Of course, this is like playing "Let's Make a Deal" with only one door. What else can happen? Certainly Warren isn't going to organize a rally in which the participants march around Little Sicily chanting "WOPs go home!" So, they become friends, buds, compadres.

When Christianity needed a commercial facelift, along came Catholicism. "Hey, folks! Original sin got you down? Now there's improved Christianity with confessional add-on. Party like the heathens today--swing with God tomorrow!" No wonder Italians are so confused and make such goofy film characters.