So Here I Am! (Anonymous)

onSunday, February 1, 2009

Great work on this site! When I was pregnant I started to hate the way my body was developing and I hated myself even more for worrying about something so trivial. After my baby was born (two years ago now) I hated it even more. Pregnancy hadn’t agreed with me and I’d actually lost a lot of weight in the last trimester, though my baby was healthy and it wasn’t through lack of eating! When my baby was born I was thinner than I’d ever been, yet still….the scars, the marks…the fact that despite weighing less I couldn’t fit into my jeans as my hip bones are now much wider. I remarked to my husband several times over that had I sustained these ‘scars’ in any other way, through accident or injury, society would have been sympathetic and support and help given. Yet because they are due to something as normal and female as pregnancy, the emotions these changes can evoke are ignored and marginalised. As this site says, they are a well kept secret. As I grew into motherhood and my daughter thrived, not only the physical but the emotional scars began to fade. I came to terms with my new body day by day. Bit by bit I began to take pride in myself once more. My ultimate healing experience was being asked to model underwear in a local show. I agreed and appeared half naked on a stage in a room full of people. They were appreciative, and I felt fully healed, at last. I hope other mothers can get the same validation though sharing here, so here I am. Get the cameras out ladies, and show the world what a real woman is!

When it comes to getting motivated to lose the rest of my baby weight, I always use the excuse that if/when I lose the weight, my stomach will still be covered in marks, so it doesn’t matter. That my body will never be what it once was, so I might as well get used to being unhappy with it.

I’ve come back to this post several times in the past few days. I want you to know that your photo is more beautiful to me than any ‘unmarked’ stomach has ever been.

No more excuses for me. I owe it to myself and to my family to be in the best shape that I can, and to wear my own skin in comfort. I now feel like my marks will make me even more beautiful, thank you for helping me realize that.