Fast focus AF-S lenses

I am going to buy my first DSLR and I have decided on a D3100 (or a D5000 if I can get it a bit more cheaply). Now I have to choose a lens, more than anything to photograph my fast moving children. My priorities are
1) fast auto-focus
2) Image quality
3) big aperture
4) Macro would be a bonus (but not at the expense of focus speed)
I don't want to spend much more than the price of the camera (500€ / $600)

My first thoughts were of the Nikkor AF-S 50 1.4 but I have read that this is rather slow to focus. I am thinking in the range of 35 to 85 and probably a prime.

I have also been told (elsewhere on this board) that some lenses (such as the 70-200mm f/2.8 VR) focus particularly quickly.

My questions are:
What lens would you recommend?

How can I tell which of the Nikkor AF-S lenses focus very quickly and how do the other makes compare?