Spin City

This blog will be hard for me to write, because although I am trying my best to be fair and see things from all angles, I have strong opinions about what I felt was going on at this point in time that I want to share with you. However I'm afraid of sounding too one-sided and anti-Teresa, but allow me anyway to break down this ridiculous debacle from my viewpoint so you all understand it more clearly.

1. Teresa hears rumors that if Melissa starts singing in nightclubs that she MIGHT just meet someone who is richer and better than her brother and leave him. I guess anything is possible.

2. Teresa feels compelled to warn her brother about this, even though she has always said he is insecure, but she really didn't expect him to mention it to his wife. She just expected him to keep his eyes open to the idea. ("in case they were closed"). When Teresa asked me my opinion about this, I told her that I didn't agree with her decision to tell her brother, and I suggested that she apologize for saying it and hurting them.

3. Joey mentions it to his wife, because...it's his wife...and they usually communicate like that. That upsets Teresa, because she didn't think he would tell her. She felt like her brother betrayed their confidence. Her intentions were still not clear to me, but Teresa explained that she felt that her warning may actually help him in some way and that she was just looking out for him. I personally couldn't see the up side in it, but that was just my opinion. 4. Melissa was clearly upset that Teresa said what she said to her husband, but was trying her best to let it go to keep the peace, even though the thought of it was beginning to boil inside of her. It was hard for Melissa to understand why Teresa would say something like that to her husband and then would act friendly like she was trying to make things better between them to her face. I think it hurt her feelings that Teresa thought of her in this way and that after seven years and three kids together she should still have to prove that she was truly in love with her husband to her sister-in-law. I think Melissa also felt like Teresa was trying to put a wedge between her and her husband. I saw it as putting a bigger wedge between all of them.

5. Melissa briefly touched on what Teresa said to her husband to us. She assumed Teresa had mentioned it already to me, which she had. Melissa was trying her best to let it go, but you could tell it upset her. I tried my best not to say a thing or get involved. I tried my best to just listen. She wasn't talking badly about Teresa, she was just trying to deal with what was said about her. I think she was also trying to feel out if we felt the same way about her as Teresa clearly did. I did not. From my viewpoint, Melissa's relationship with her husband seemed real and loving and sincere to me.

6. Although I felt bad that Melissa was hurting, I knew that if I were to give Melissa advice, Teresa would get upset with me, so I held back. If Teresa asked me what I thought about a situation and if I told her that I felt she handled herself wrong or suggested that she try to see things from a different perspective, she would get upset with me and accuse me of jumping ship. Teresa wanted me to pick a side and commit! I was expected to only see her side and agree with her or I was considered to be a bad friend. I felt like I needed to be honest with my friend. It didn't mean I was jumping ship or that I wasn't her friend. I loved her and I just wanted her and her family to stop hurting and worrying about petty things. I wanted us all to get along.7. I found it hypocritical that Teresa mentioned I was wishy-washy and wouldn't commit to picking a side when Danielle was fighting with my family. Forgive me for being my own person and waiting to judge people from my own experiences with them. Did Teresa forget that she herself didn't pick a side either? She also continued to be Danielle's friend along with me even while her best friend, Dina, disliked her until Danielle did something personally to her. Teresa also tried saying hello, just to be friendly, to Danielle at the Posche fashion show at a time when Dina and I were both having issues with Danielle. I never faulted her for that. My battle with Danielle was my own to deal with. Teresa also remains friendly with Kim D. who clearly has an issue with her sister-in-law Melissa. But that is all OK for Teresa to befriend who she wants. Is that how she defines loyalty? It upsets me, and I feel it's unfair that I am expected to follow Teresa's rules that she doesn't even apply to herself.

8. When I asked Teresa why she would say something like that about Melissa to her brother, she told me that she just "struck her as that type of girl" and that "her friends were telling her that if she started singing in clubs that she might cheat on her brother and leave him for a richer man." She never had any other explanation other than that. It really wasn't for me to try to understand. That was between her and her brother and Melissa, but when Teresa asked me for my opinion, I gave it to her.

9. My feeling is that Teresa was upset with her brother's text to her husband, that she had unfortunately and accidentally saw, which threatened Joe that if he didn't stop threatening him, he would tell Teresa that he had cheated on her. This was a fight that was supposed to stay between the men and wasn't meant for her eyes. He never intentionally tried to hurt his sister. Joey didn't go to Teresa and say that to try and cause a problem in their marriage. He was upset with Joe's actions. It wasn't a warning of something that may or may not happen. The difference in what Joey did and what Teresa did was that Teresa reached out to intentionally warn her brother of something that had no plausibility, and which could cause problems unnecessarily. 10. In my opinion, I feel like Teresa wanted her brother to hurt in his marriage the same way that Teresa was hurting in hers. I think Teresa envied the relationship Joey and Melissa have. I can only say that from what I have seen, their relationship is very real and loving. It makes me sad, because I believe that everyone has ups and downs in their relationships, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the need to take others down with you just because you are hurting. If you hold on long enough and work through your issues while staying positive, things will eventually get better. Everyone deserves to be happy.

11. Teresa didn't want anyone to use the word "jail". She would rather us say "going away" even though she's OK getting paid to say it in the tabloids. That was the word we kept reading. I guess I didn't really understand the difference between saying "jail" or "going away" because to me it meant the same thing. I understand it better now after hearing Kathy with her explanation on pride. I'm still not convinced it's a Jersey thing though.

12.Teresa always told me that people won't always believe what they read, so it's OK for her to say it in a tabloid. But if we talk about it on the show, then that makes it real to the viewers. She just wanted it to stay in the tabloids where she could profit from it without having to explain it.

13. Melissa wasn't sure where to go for Tia's solstice party, so I told her to meet us at Caroline's and we could all go together. Teresa knew Melissa was coming with us, because I told her beforehand out of respect. Teresa said that was fine, but I was given specific instructions on what I could say or not say. I liked Melissa and she had never done anything to me personally to make me feel otherwise, but I had no desire to hang out with her without Teresa, because I knew how Teresa felt about her. I kept her at an arm's length just as she kept me. Melissa respected me as Teresa's friend, and I respected her as Teresa's family.14. Teresa asks me at the solstice party if Melissa had mentioned to me what Teresa said to her brother. Teresa already had told me herself first. I didn't want to get involved in their family drama. I told her to ask Melissa that question, because I didn't want to be put in the middle of that one, and besides that my sister-in-law was involved in that conversation as well. She knows that I don't lie, so I'm going to answer her honestly. Teresa always tries to pull me in the middle, and it makes me uncomfortable. Teresa was always trying to use a middleman to communicate for her instead of just confronting the person she has an issue with herself. She's always trying to bring others into her fights, and it isn't fair. If you watched the episode tonight, you can see her trying to pull me, Melissa, Rosie and Kim D. in the middle of her conflicts. I wanted to support her as a friend without being involved. I do my best to listen and give advice when asked. Teresa wants her friends to be her soldiers in her army. My dad was an army colonel, so I recognize military tactics. I wasn't looking to get drafted.

15. Teresa has a way of spinning things. Blame shifting is talent of hers. She is the master. The whole fight between her and Melissa was ridiculous. Spin city. I don't even want to go there. If you listen to it carefully, you can figure it out and make judgments for yourself. It is too exhausting to get into it all. Geez, first the sprinkle cookies and now the children's gifts are getting thrown away. What a waste. That is sad to me and so petty.

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The bottom line was that I was starting to see that Teresa wasn't being consistent with her words or her actions. Besides the pressures she was putting on me, I was also hearing from mutual friends that she was starting to resent me for not always agreeing with her. Things were starting to change between us. Meanwhile my struggles kept getting overshadowed by hers in our daily conversations. It was becoming overwhelming. Even through all of that, I sincerely still loved her and cared about her well-being and happiness and wished for everyone to resolve things so that we could all get along.

As far as Lauren goes, you would be happy to know that she looks AMAZING and has lost a lot of the weight that she wanted to lose. She now owns and is running a very successful beauty store called CafFace in Franklin Lakes. She has a lot to feel good about. She is much happier. Her family is proud and impressed. Every once in a while, her brothers like to joke around and tease, but the fact remains that they all love each other and will always be there for one another. The Manzos have a very tight bond and are very supportive of each other.

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Now you have met my East coast fitness trainer Jolene Matthews. She was the pretty blonde talking to Rosie about their mutual "kinship." She is also a mutual friend of Teresa and I. She was just trying to step in and support Teresa. Jolene feels bad now for getting involved when she didn't know the whole story. She had only heard Teresa's side at the time. She likes everybody. She is the Group Fitness Director and Personal Training Manager at Sky Club Fitness Hoboken, NJ. She is a celebrity personal trainer/commercial and fitness model and
fitness columnist of "The Edgewater View: Lifestyle and Trends by Jolene Matthews" so check out her website www.Jolenematthews.com or follow her on Twitter at @addictfitness. Jolene also does fitness blogs on my website www.JacquelineLaurita.com along with my West coast trainer and dear friend Jill Miller. Follow Jill on Twitter @JillFitness.

Check out my boutique on www.thelookstore.com/boutiques/jacqueline-laurita.html. It's a new beauty superstore full of unique beauty products, celebrity pictures, beauty and style tips and trends, "how to” videos and an online magazine. I'll be doing beauty Q&As on there, as well as beauty "how to" videos. I will be starting as a beauty editor for their online magazine soon, and I am also a beauty curator for www.TheLookBag.com. Make sure to use code "JAC" when ordering The Look Bag. Check it out to learn more about it.

I will also have an exciting new acne product to tell you about soon that I would like for you to try. You will love it. It is extremely effective. Stay tuned...