From the day freshmen arrive on campus, to the day they graduate with a diploma in one hand and a beer in the other, Gettysburg students are consistently putting an absolute beatdown on both their livers and the sad congregations of scholars you call parties. Like it or not, Gettysburg is a drinking school with a history problem.

Here’s a few reasons that accurately describe why you should know Gettysburg parties harder than you:

1. Because we’re ranked #2 in terms of Greek Life by Princeton Review–so not only do we thrive in dark basements and day drinking on porches, we’re rich enough to afford the best quality powdered Kool Aid for jungle juice.

2. Because our football team isn’t any good, so it’s up to the students to represent on “Game Day.”

3. Because we’re one of the few places in the world where it’s socially acceptable to get black out and then go eat some B-Hole.

4. Because when we’re offered free food at something called “Midnight Madness,” it’s a sin not to black out.

5. Because you need to be drunk to actually understand what the guys at Pizza House are saying to you. “Misshuspissahaws”

6. Because if you have to make a trip to a place called Beer Mart to get beer, you might as well get a lot of it. Thanks, Pennsylvania laws!

7. Because more people at Gettysburg have Adderall prescriptions than they do scholarships. (Not actually based on any real numbers)

Also because there is a significant portion of campus who does not party and thoroughly enjoys watching the antics of those who do. Or at least ignores them. Because surprisingly some people actually go there for the amazing academic reputation.