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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Emperor's New Cloak

*** (3 stars out of 5)

If you ever needed evidence that the Klingons abandoned their camera surveillance culture at some point after Errand of Mercy (and when WOULDN'T You?) then it is right here:

The most conspicuous pair of Ferengi brothers in the universe stroll into the flagship of the Supreme Commander's Seventh Fleet (offscreen) and stroll out with the most vital component. The Cloaking Device. Cloaked, naturally.

They're hoping to trade it for Zek's life. See, Nagus Zek stole the designs of a Mirror Universe transporter from Rom, and set sail for profit on the Kinky Side of the Mirror. (Maybe he's hoping Evil Risa imports whips and chains in bulk...)

(This cloaking device plan is only viable because the mirror-side Klingon-Cardassian Alliance have forgotten that they already HAVE cloaking technology. The villains ARE amazingly stupid.)

Quark was bending and bribing the ear of his Blessed Exchequer figurine praying for Ezri to be his bedtime pal this Xmas, when an Ezri DOES suddenly appear, but the grabbing and restraining are not all Quark hoped for. She's a black-hearted, black-coated mercenary. Also, she's gay.

Speaking of which, Mirror Kira kills her latest Ferengi out of half-hearted tradition. Poor, kind-hearted Mirror Brunt bears the brunt of her rage, while simple-minded Mirror Garak is offed by Lezri.

Will our not-very-heroes get home alive... and unspoiled?

"The Emperor's New Cloak" is DS9's final foray to the domain from the brain of the late Jerome Bixby is quite adequte to the task, and it's fun. Rom in particular is a welcome voice of reason in a dimension so unlikely that even VIC FONTAINE gets killed there... and yet it somehow stays parallel.