STORIES ABOUT MY ASS

“Can we get a giraffe?” I knew my wife was only halfway joking. Some friends were not surprised when we sold our house to buy land East of Austin, but most have wondered WTF, “Why the Farm?” The conversation was sparked by a weekend family adventure at The Serengeti Resort—…
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As if I’m begging to gain a lesson in patience and humility, I’ve embarked on too many Green Acres projects with a spring and a whistle. “How hard can this be?” Keeping Donkey and Yoti inside the already fenced pasture seemed simple enough. I found the areas of…
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“I’m not going near that spa… it looks haunted!” My son said the thing we were all thinking. On a makeshift deck beside a burnt tree with a low-hanging plywood roof sat the sketchiest-looking hot tub whose heyday had certainly passed decades ago. The infested spa was a welcome…
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“They will be like fantastic field lawn mowers!” My wife and daughter made the pitch and researched the reality of the financial commitment. The miniature donkeys would simply graze the large field in picturesque peace and would cost … wait for it … twenty dollars each … delivered! The sentiment was not unlike…
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I spent the last two mornings searching for my miniature donkey. I know, not a sentence I ever thought I would type either. Growing up in Southern California, it was the wealthy who owned land, the poor who lived in trailers, and the school kids in FFA Classes who wanted…
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