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Posts Tagged ‘meet the family’

This week I’m finally going to introduce you to the family. They’re little bit shy but as you can see, I got some excellent photos of them.

First up is Noah. Noah is my middle-school aged son who is pretty darned smart but his love for school is …well…AWOL. It’s boring to him and I constantly hear things like, “When am I ever going to going to need to know about ichthyology,” or “Why do I have to know how to compute combinatorics?” Noah is all about video games and has created a mini man cave of his own in the basement family room where he can play without my constant injections of “Please, stop blowing your friends’ heads off,” or “Quit stuffing your candy wrappers between the sofa cushions!”

He recently started playing football and surprised himself when he found out how fast he can run and how easy it was for him to flatten the occasional quarterback. We are frightened because he is now snowboarding. I know…it’s a dangerous sport. Dangerously expensive.

Stella is a college freshman and since her move from home last September, she has discovered something new and interesting: self sufficiency. She holds the reins for clean laundry, finding food to eat, changing sheets, and managing time. She was a very accomplished high school athlete and saw her team to two consecutive state tournaments but left that behind to pursue socializing and pizza-eating at the University. Like me, Stella is lactose intolerant so she’s had to cut back on her cheesecake and Dairy Queen French Silk Pie Blizzard intake.

She, like 98% of all other female college freshman, claims she would like to major in psychology but I can see that swirling down the tubes over time. She’s far too artistically creative. She would love to go into fashion or art and has a dream of being on America’s Next Top Model. I hope she’s ready to have her hair dyed chartreuse or eyebrows shaved off if she ever makes it on the show.

Ron is the king of the family – former fire fighter, technology buff, and repair wizard. I apologize for his photo (or lack thereof). That’s what happens when you take a picture of someone shortly after you roll out of bed at dawn…you neglect to put the SD card into the camera. I’ll work on it. I’m sure I can snap a photo of him on the sly for you when he’s digging around in the fridge for a snack or snoozing on the sofa.

Ron and I met in high school, dated briefly, and parted ways. A few years after high school, we met again, married and have been living in paradise ever since. He has been nicknamed “Inspector Gadget” by some of my friends who know about his love for fancy electronic gizmos and cutting edge technology. He thrives on his music hobby and I pray some day he realizes that there are indeed musical selections that were composed and recorded after 1976. Like me, Ron can’t cook so we’re constantly hungry over here. Please feel free *protected email* so he can cook for me. Or just skip that and send us a casserole.

Me? Well, I have dabbled in all sorts of jobs including customer service, e-business, web design, graphics, and writing. My favorite job will always be writing and one of my favorite experiences ever was writing for local newspapers. I did a lot of interviewing and noted that whenever I met someone and told them I worked for the paper they’d treat me like royalty. Everyone was always worried I’d write something bad about them and print it in the paper. I only thought about doing that a little…

I’m a sub par housekeeper, and you have all learned that I’m a terrible cook. I’m an animal lover and thrive on the quick witted humor of others. I have been told by my kids that I’m not a “normal” mother. Mission accomplished! Some day, I would like to be a ballerina or professional skateboarder.

Annie is our pitbull terrier mix. Don’t believe what you hear about pitbulls…they are often wimps like our dog. She’s afraid of thunder, cats, and catching a chill. Living in this house, she has been forced to develop a sense of humor. A few weeks ago, Annie spent the day parading around in the bikini Stella found in her bottom dresser drawer. Annie enjoys eating carrots, lettuce and cauliflower and has learned to cry at the pantry when she wants a Scooby Snack. She also insists on having her water changed once or twice a day. She demands freshness. Who doesn’t?

Laverne and Shirley are the elderly gerbils Stella and Noah received for Christmas in 2008. Since they are constantly battling obesity and don’t watch their diets like they should, I purchased an exercise wheel for them. As you can see, they get a lot of use out of it. I’m hoping that I can get them hooked on a regular exercise regime soon. I think we’ll just start with some simple stretching and a few situps. I suspect that by Laverne’s poor posture, she’s developing a bit of osteoporosis.