Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Looney Tunes Tuesday: Your Daily News (with a cat thrown in)

The news on most days is generally a soul-numbing compendium
of human violence, ignorance and hubris, but today’s stories seem particularly
otherworldly. Here are snapshots of a few of this morning’s most entertaining
stories.

The Woodland, NC Planning Commission banned a solar farm for
fear it would suck up the sun’s energy and harm nearby vegetation.

Responding to a vague 911 call about a suspicious person in
an Atlanta, Georgia neighborhood, cops broke into the wrong home, shot the
homeowner’s dog, the homeowner and a fellow cop.

Donald Trump says EPA water regulations prevent him from
washing his hair properly.

A Grand Rapids man took his rifle to a convenience store to
kill a Muslim. He forced the dark-skinned cashier to the back room and put the
rifle barrel in the man’s mouth, saying “I shot people like you overseas in the
Middle East.” Problem was, the convenience store clerk was Indian and not a
Muslim. He fought off the rifleman, but sustained a gunshot to his cheek.

The hottest product in China right now is bottled fresh air
from Canada. In a related story, a Japanese company is selling a fabric spray
that contains the scent of a cat’s forehead.

Speaking of Japan, in recent days 14 mysterious boats have
washed up on Japanese shores containing two dozen headless and badly decomposed
bodies. Many think the dead are from North Korea.

And in the “to nobody’s surprise” section, recently revealed
documents show that the United States has been turning a blind eye to Shi’ite
militias in Iraq who have been torturing and murdering Sunni jihadists for over
10 years, adding greatly to the instability of the region.