These
reflections on the daily dilemmas we all meet on our passage through
life have been garnered from events, books, friends and enemies
I've encountered on my personal erratic trek through the past
seven and a half decades. (All entries without attributions
are my own.)

Aches and Pains

Over
three million years of evolution on this planet your body has
developed many ways to protect and heal itself. When you cut
yourself, for example, your body easily heals that cut without
you. Similarly, it cures its infections, mends its broken
bones and heals its diseases.
So the best way to assist healing is to get out of the way
of your three-million-year-old healer by learning conscious
skills to provide it with the space and energy it needs to keep
itself well.

Summarised
from The Well Body Book, Mike Samuels M.D. and Hal Bennett,
Random House Inc., New York 1973.

I've followed the above advice since I first
read it the year it was published. Take the example of the common
cold. Treat the first symptom as a warning that your body needs
a break, go to bed, rest and drink lots of water and your three
million-year-old healer can use all its energy to defeat the infection.
You may be astonished how quickly you recover.
But do as most people do, buy a cold treatment and
carry on as usual and you not only prevent your innate healer
from working but spread the infection to others. Unfortunately,
cold treatments have far worse consequences because they suppress
the very symptoms that are part of your body's struggle with the
infection. Your nose runs because your immune system's trying
to wash away the germs. The more you suppress the symptoms, the
longer it will take your body to defeat the infection. Besides,
most of the discomfort stops if you lie down. It's gravity that
causes your nose to run and constant wiping that leads to soreness.
As a result of such misinterpretations, many
people never fully recover from colds, instead spending uncomfortable
months coughing, sniffling and spreading infection to their fellow
sufferers.

For
a four year old child a year represents a quarter of its
entire life, for a seventy year old less than one per cent
and no matter how we count - in days, months, years or decades
- this same law of diminishing perception applies.
This is one reason few old people envy the young. If you're
young and don't believe it, ask your grandmother!

Come, fill the Cup, and in the
fire of Spring
Your Winter-garment of Repentance fling:
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To flutter - and the Bird is on the Wing.

AngerBy nature
I'm gentle and peace-loving so when I was threatened by a knife-wielding
intruder many years ago I was astounded how my anger at his unprovoked
attack instantly transformed me into a raging beast who was unaccountably
able to throw him to the floor and disarm him in a trice. Discovery
of the protective value of my anger was an important step on my
personal road towards understanding the weird and wonderful way
human beings behave - and, coincidentally, to some of these reflections.
But if anger is turned inwards and expressed as guilt or shame,
it becomes self-destructive and, pushed to the extreme, can lead
to suicide. So our task is to learn to direct it outwards, to
become assertive without becoming aggressive. If fear of your
anger holds you back, try the following technique:

Mark
a special week in your diary as a period when you will practise
calm passivity about some daily event or behaviour that normally
angers you.

Remind
yourself each morning that your objective is to remain calm
when confronted with examples of it.

Observe
what happens.

I
was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

Songs
of Experience,William Blake, (1794)

ArthritisI'm seventy-five
now and occasionally detect twinges of arthritis. I've discovered
that if I cut out tea and coffee completely for two weeks it simply
disappears. It costs nothing and works for me so not why not try
it yourself? A neat side effect is that I rediscover the wonderful
aroma of coffee and the crisp flavour of tea when I start taking
them again. Friends report that cutting out animal fat (milk,
eggs, butter, cheese) has the same effect, but as a vegan I don't
consume any so can't confirm this.

Blessed

We are the flute.
Our music is Thine.

Rümi, Persian mystic
poet.

BulliesIn 1954 I
was doing my military service at a training camp where hundreds
of us national servicemen had to queue for meals outside a canteen
known as Bloody Mary's. Everyday as the doors opened a six foot
hulk arrived and pushed in at the front of the queue, despite
much muttering from the rest of us who had sometimes been waiting
for an hour in the pouring rain. One day I was third in line and
when the hulk arrived I grabbed his beret, handed it to the man
behind me and said: "Pass this to the back of the queue!"
The hulk looked daggers at me, marched off to the end of the line
to recover it, then marched straight back, shoved his face an
inch from mine, and growled: "When I get you off camp, clever
dick, your number will be up!"
About two weeks later I was walking down the road into the local
town when I saw the six foot hulk cycling up the hill towards
me. My stomach turned over. Was my number "up"? He waved, grinned
and shouted: "All right, mate!" My conclusions:

Bullies
depend on the collusion of victims.

We gain
respect by defending our space.

Change

What
the caterpillar calls the end of the world,the master calls a
butterfly.

When I was young I worried about
what people thought about me.
When I was middle-aged I didn't care what they thought about me.
Now I'm old I know that they don't think about me at all.

Alan Coren
English humorist and broadcaster.

Civilisation

Civilisation
= courtesy + cooperation.

Cleverness
Here's a thought from Unzipped
- my personal book of dreams:

Even the most skilled can be trapped,
caught in webs spun from their own cleverness.
So learn the wisdom of silence, supplicant,
and hold fast to its quick
through thin and thick.

Commitment
Freedom has no meaning unless you exercise it but to exercise
it you must commit yourself to someone or something. Therefore,
to experience true freedom, you must learn to make - and honour
- commitments.

Compliments
Every time you receive a compliment, offer one to someone else.

ConflictIt takes
more courage to resist violence with peace and love than with
yet more violence. If you can't manage peace and love, at least
try to respond with courtesy...

Courtesy

Courtesy
+ cooperation = civilisation.

Courage

I
May Not Be Totally Perfect, But Parts of Me Are ExcellentAshley Brilliant,
Woodbridge Press, California, 1979.

Cruelty

"All cruelty springs from
weakness."

Seneca (4 BC - 65 AD)

Dates A date is a commitment
you make to someone else. Honouring commitments is vital for your
self-esteem as well as your date's. Anyone who fails to honour
a commitment to another merits the same treatment. This includes
you!

Coping with being
stood up:

Once - Forgive
and forget. We all make mistakes.
Twice - Tell them how you feel.
Thrice - Refuse all future dates. Explain that their actions
have resulted in future meetings depending on chance encounters.

In the
latter case, you may find comfort in the thought that you may
have had a lucky escape because those who fail
to honour commitments to others are unworthy of true friendship.
(This includes you too!)

SeeCommitment
and Unpunctuality

DeathDuring his
last decade my father suffered from Parkinson's Disease. As
a result he completely lost his desire to dominate which had
always made communication with his family difficult. As the
disease progressed he virtually stopped speaking altogether
and became gentler and more appreciative of our attempts to
understand what he needed or wanted. Finally, when it was clear
he was dying, I painted and sent him this card to reassure and
comfort him on what turned out to be his last birthday:

And
at the exact moment of his death, he said:

"There's nothing wrong.
You're just having a bad dream."

Some years after my father uttered those wise wonderful
words I had a "good" dream myself which I offer here
in the hope that it might be of comfort to any reader who fears
death:

A
Dream of Death

I was one of a huge crowd of stark naked strangers
chastened by the knowledge that we had all just died and were
waiting our turn to enter a dark fissure in a vast cliff that
stretched away into the distance.
When it was my turn to enter the fissure
I discovered that, inside the cliff, it stretched away to a
distant shaft of brilliant white light. Wordlessly, meekly,
we shuffled along a vertiginous corridor lined with perfectly
square doors mirroring each other on either side. The doors
were all unmarked but somehow each of our line of silent souls
knew its unique door and went humbly in.
Thus I found my door
and entered a glowing white cube with no apparent features of
any kind - except a tiny pinprick of black in the centre of
the facing wall. I approached it and suddenly understood that
infinite divine compassionate love lay beyond it. I fell to
my knees and began recounting my lifetime of errors. The mysterious
consciousness behind the pinprick remained silent until at last
I began weeping and somehow knew all my neighbouring souls were
weeping too, each in its personal prison. Thus, separately and
collectively we each knew our true worth as equal divine beings.
One by one we left our cells and rejoined the line of shuffling
still-silent souls.
Back in the corridor, each soul saw
that the gap between each door now displayed a photograph of
its shriven soul in its moment of utter isolation and despair.
But we also somehow knew that each would be spared the sight
of its own image in that gallery of desolation.
After what felt like years I arrived
at the end of the corridor, stepped out into a square of dazzling
daylight and awoke, safe, at home, in my bed.

All
that dies is the illusion
that any part of your being was ever separate.

We
were born of cosmic dust
and must return to the stars, where,
released from its earthly entrapment,
our spirit flies.
Do not mourn this elevation to a higher state.
Death, my beloved, is freedom
and may be celebrated.

The only part of us
that must die
is the only part that wonders why -
the part called
I.

Death
should be surrounded
by revelry, not despair.
It is the beginning of the greatest voyage of our lives,
it is the beginning of the homeward journey of the soul.

In
a moment of jubilation,
yet while doubt rained down,
a splendid horse came to lead me away.
And I knew it was death who had come,
that my moment of truth had arrived.
But I knew too that the old man I was become
had no fear of this splendid spirit horse.
I mounted joyfully and rode away.

Love Solves Death

Finally on the subject of death, here's one of my
favourite verses from Omar KhayyŠm's RubŠyŠt, translated
by Edward Fitzgerald, William Collins Sons & Co., London 1859:

So when at last the Angel of the
drink
Of Darkness finds you by the river-brink,
And, proffering his Cup, invites your Soul
Forth to your Lips to quaff it - do not shrink.

But Michel Montaigne should have the last word::

All the wisdom and reasoning
in the world boils down
finally to this point: to teach us not to be afraid to die.

Enter everything you can think of For and everything
you can think of Against.

Your decision will make itself.

If despite all this the result turns out badly,
you can comfort yourself that you made your decision responsibly
and turn your attention to what can be learned from the outcome.

DespairDespair stems
from low self-esteem. How you feel about yourself is your responsibility.
Self-esteem based on other peopleís opinions is fugitive. A helpful
thought came to me in a dream which I've tried to apply ever since
and find works for me:

A
kindness a day keeps despair at bay.

You
have the power to change your state of mind at any time. (If youíre
feeling low right now you wonít have enjoyed reading that!) Whatever
your state of mind now, try this simple exercise:

Stand
up and close your eyes. Imagine youíre suspended by an invisible
rope from the crown of your head. Imagine the weight of your
body pulling your spine downwards as you hang from this rope.
Notice that youíve grown an inch or so. Note how much better
you feel. Note how you feel as you relax back into your normal
posture.

So
the power to feel better about yourself is yours all the time.
What do you think it tells you about yourself if you donít
want to feel better? Whatever it tells you may clarify your
current dilemma. Remember also:

We
have three heavenly gifts: hope, sleep and laughter.

Emmanuel
Kant.

See also Self-esteem.

Diet"You are what
you eat." is only a truism because it's true. Every cell of your
body begins with sunlight falling on green leaves. Consider the
implications of this: it means we areliterally made
of sunlight! Even the meat beloved by inveterate carnivores
starts as sunlight falling on the leaves of plants eaten by grazing
herbivores.

Distress
A practical technique for dealing with an attack of general everyday
distress is to compile a list of simple, personal everyday pleasures.
Try it and see how quickly you feel more centered. Here are a
few items from the authorís current list as an example:

The
smell of roasting coffee.
Walking in the rain.
Making bread.
The blackbird that sings outside my kitchen window.
Lying snug in bed, listening to the rain outside.
My favourite comedy radio programme.
A glass of wine with my supper.
Listening to the music of Bach, Boyce, Purcell, Vivaldi, Handel,
Mozart, Beethoven, Pink Floyd, the Beatles etc.
Having dinner with an old friend.

Who holds the key to loving
on the superhuman shore
if not the very doubter
who brought you here
from far
?

Dreaming
If you don't believe dreams are important, ask yourself why men
have erections when they dream, or why people who are prevented
from dreaming suffer nervous collapse.
Why not keep a dream book by your bed? Unzipped,
my "Year of Dreams" on this site was a direct result
of my doing this and here's just one example of the many wonderful
ideas that were revealed to me as a result:

Arching through foreign skies
on aching journies of tremulous pain,
the soul travels incognito through the night
seeking the subtle skills of time travel
and the unravelling of truant distance
to rediscover its moment
of original departure.

Ice cold
and free
the soul
conducts its journies
without reference to "I" or "me".
In the deep of the night
it accomplishes the real business of the day.
In fancy's flight it soars and roars
the one true way.

Enemies

Give
thanks for a strong enemy.

Ancient Chinese proverb.

Evil
Without knowledge of evil how can good begin? Without understanding
of death how can life be celebrated?

Is
God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is impotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Whence then comes evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

Epicurus (circa 341-270 BC)

Exercise
Walking is the best exercise there is. It's also free and doesn't
damage the environment. Avoid lifts! (U.S. "elevators".)
Walking up several flights of stairs is good for your heart, legs
and general circulation. One of the most absurd sights of modern
urban life is people taking lifts to skyscaper gymnasia to spend
hours walking up virtual stairs using electric exercise machines
that not only waste their money, but harm our environment
expending unnecessary energy and using up fossil fuel. The healthiest
way to do longer journies, is to cycle.
It's also beneficial to stretch your whole
body luxuriously like a cat before rising from your bed every
morning. (If you find this induces cramps in your calves, stretch
from your hands to your heels first, then from your hands
to your toes.) Best of all, do Seven Sun Salutations
- a simple daily stretching exercise to keep you supple, like
this:

Skydiving
towards an unknown future,
eyes wide,
face clear,
who can deny that to live at all
is an act of daily faith?

Fame
Details may differ but the broad sweep of our little lives remains
the same. The famous and great feel no less and no more than the
meek and poor. Fame and fortune are idle pursuits and will not
get you wisdom. At the moment of death alone lies the discovery
of your true accomplishments.

Our task is to discover who we are.

Anonymity is required to accomplish this.

Desire for fame expresses low self-esteem, nothing more.

The
strongest poison ever knownCame from Caesar's
laurel crown.

William
Blake 1757-1827

Fame
is a poison good to take in little doses.

From A Daughter of Eve by Balzac.

See alsoSelf-Esteem

FashionI've never paid any heed to fashion, but every few
years someone tells me my clothes are fashionable, imagining
they're paying me a compliment! A fact I find amusing because
I've always simply worn practical everyday clothes in the bright
colours I've also used to decorate my home. Nevertheless, the
way we dress reveals important truths about ourselves (SeeNudity) and if you allow others
to dictate how
you take care of your hair and beardand
the
very clothes on your back, you will never discover your
true worth.
To the discerning eye, men look better if they
let their hair and beards grow into the shape nature intended
and women look better without all that garish paint on their facesbecause, may
I point out, men's beards and moustaches are as much a part of
our faces as our eyebrows and ears, and women's eyes and lips
are more beautiful when they aren't plastered
with make up. But few men and women seem to understand this or
even have any idea what they truly look like. If you don't believe
me, if you imagine you shave for purely practical reasons, why
don't you shave your eyebrows off each morning? Conversely, why
don't women shave their scalps instead of their armpits, and put
lipstick on their noses rather than their mouths? The sad truth
is that the fashion industry is a gigantic con trick that preys
on vulnerable people's insecurities for the sole purpose of profit.
A plague on it!

Those who make their dress a principal
part of themselves, will,
in general, become of no more value than their dress.

William Hazlitt (1770-1830)
English essayist and inhabitant of Soho, London.FromThe Clerical Character.

ForgivenessForgiveness
heals the forgiver as much as the forgiven - so forgive for
your own sake too.

Oh Thou, who Man of baser Earth
didst make,
And ev'n with Paradise devise the Snake:
For all the Sin the Face of wretched Man
is black with - Man's forgiveness give - and take!

He who binds to himself a joy,
Doth the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity's sunrise.

William Blake
Poems from the Note-book, London 1793.

FriendsFriendship,
like plants, needs watering to thrive.

GaiaWe are composed
of more than three trillion living cells every one of which has
our unique DNA at its core but no single cell has a label
that reads: "This is the centre of your being." When
we say "I" and "me" it's shorthand for this personal cosmos of
living cells acting as a whole.
Planet earth is a similar collection of living cells
- referred to as "Gaia" by the author and scientist, James Lovelock
- and you and I are a part of her - as well as every individual
mote of dust, pebble, crystal and grain of sand. My personal belief
is that moments of heightened awareness, of universal consciousness,
or overwhelming feelings of the immanence of god are all the result
of Gaia's attention momentarily passing through one of us. Although
such feelings are compelling they don't solve the problems of
everyday life. And why should they? After all, if you place your
conscious awareness momentarily in your left thumb, you don't
expect it to have a fit, stop being your thumb, withdraw to a
mountaintop and start meditating on life and the stunning fact
of your existence. Its job is to be your thumb, nothing more and
nothing less. And your job is to be who you are. Luckily, there's
no way to fail at this, though the experience may entail suffering
and despair.

"Öas the atmosphere circulates water,
dust, spores, pollen, seeds, lichen, microbes, insects, spiders,
birds, bats, man and other odd beings and baggage, acting somewhat
as the planet's breath, which is occasionally infectious as
well as refreshing, so is the sea a kind of blood to the Earth's
living body that continuously conveys not only all the obvious
creatures but, along with the already mentioned invisible ones,
immeasurable quantities of germ cells, eggs, hormones, enzymes,
vitamins, chemicals and other mysterious, subtle secretions
that influence and coordinate the whole in space and time."

Gay
As a gay man myself, I could write a thick book on this topic
alone because my personal belief is that sexual diversity is
essential leavening in the human loaf. For the moment let
me briefly relate that my direct personal experience was that
my sexuality ceased to be a problem for me as soon as I found
the strength to come out and live my life openly and truthfully.
But anyone who's been through this traumatic event
knows how much courage it takes and, remember, many gay people
live in states that treat us as, at best, second-class citizens
and, at worst, as criminals. So here's a thought for those still
struggling to find the courage to come out:

Supreme
excellence in warfare lies in the destruction of
your enemy's will to resist in advance of perceptible hostilities.

If he is infinitely good,
what reason should we have to fear him?
If he is infinitely wise,
why should we have doubts concerning our future?
If he knows all,
why warn him of our needs and fatigue him with our prayers?
If he is everywhere,
why erect temples to him?

Percy Bysshe
Shelley
1792-1822
(From The Necessity of Atheism)

"By
virtue of his reflective faculties, man is raised out of the
animal world, and by his mind he demonstrates that nature has
put a high premium precisely upon the development of consciousness.
Through consciousness he takes possession of nature by recognising
the existence of the world and thus, as it were, confirming
the Creator. The world becomes the phenomenal world, for without
conscious reflection it would not be. If the Creator were conscious
of Himself, He would not need conscious creatures; nor is it
probable that the extremely indirect methods of creation, which
squander millions of years upon the development of countless
species and creatures, are the outcome of purposeful intention.
Natural history tells us of a haphazard and casual transformation
of species over hundreds of millions of years of devouring and
being devoured. The biological and political history of man
is an elaborate repetition of the same thing. But the history
of the mind offers a different picture. Here the miracle of
reflecting consciousness intervenes - the second cosmogony.
The importance of consciousness is so great that one cannot
help suspecting the element of meaning to be concealed
somewhere within all the monstrous, apparently senseless biological
turmoil, and that the road to its manifestation was ultimately
found on the level of warm-blooded vertebrates possessed of
a differentiated brain - found as if by chance, unintended and
unforeseen, and yet somehow sensed, felt and groped for out
of some dark urge."

From Memories,
Dreams, Reflections, Carl Gustav Jung. Originally published
in German as Erinnerungen, Träuma, Gedanken,
Random House, 1961.

Grief
Every single person you know and every single person you care
for will die one day. The only thing we don't know is when,
or whether we or they will die first. So there is literally no
way to escape grief. But here are a few techniques and strategies
to help you to survive the loss of beloved friends and family.
They are based on personal experience which has taught me that
grieving takes many years.

Visit places you and your beloved went together.
Make a pilgrimage to the place your beloved died.
Make a pilgrimage to the place your beloved was born.
Make an album of photographs, letters and souvenirs of your
beloved. (Restrict working on it to half an hour a day.)
And above all, let yourself cry - in private if you prefer
- because...

As
water is to the body so tears are to the soul.

Hate
We all have a dark side. Denying this uncomfortable truth only
gives it power and may lead to truly terrible consequences. One
way to deal with it is to acknowledge feelings of hate as they
occur. Here are a few techniques and strategies:

HeterosexualityAs a member of the majority,
it's all too easy to take your social privileges for granted.
But if you want to know how it feels when they're taken away,
have a look at a wall posterI
originally wrote in 1975 as a light-hearted fund-raiser for the
world's first ever season of gay plays in London's West End. I've
heard reports of sightings from New York to New Zealand, Sydney
to Sao Paulo and recently discovered it on an Internet page where
it had scored more than a million hits. For the record, it's all
my own work and, although I originally wrote it as a contribution
to the gay community and have never made a penny from it, I do
ask for my name to be included in any quotation. (Note:
if you want a hard copy you can right-click it (PCs) or ctrl+click
it (MACs), save the image to your hard drive (as
a gif) and
print it out in the usual way.)

A torrent of words swarms into
view,
each clamouring to be the chosen one.
But deep and quiet lies the clue
to the meanings they wish to fix themselves upon.
And holy silence is the key
to their constant cries of "Me!" "Me!" "Me!"

One day in the sun
lying down
stretching my legs
along the ground,
at my ease
among the flowers,
I saw a little spider
no bigger than a speck
trying to build its web
between a flower and my leg.
Stupid helpless creature,
(the thought came unasked)
to spend its time and energy
on such a fruitless task.
For the life of that web
depended on me;
and such a huge important being
was never going to bother
with a tiny little spider
no bigger than a speck.
Why, the moment I decided
to simply move my leg
all its time and effort
would be a useless wreck.

But then another thought came to me
lying in the grass:
what if all our cities
and all our works of art,
what if all our learning
and all our careful plans
are like that spider's web
spun between a flower and a man?
And the flower is the Earth
and the man is Time.
And everything is relative
to those who know the rhyme.
What then my friends?
What then?

Like the little spider
trying to build its web,
we would hurry to and fro
between the flower and the leg
stupid helpless creatures
who no one thought to ask
spending time and energy
on all our fruitless tasks,
the life of our webs
depending on another
that never shows its face
that isn't of this earth
but of another Time and Space.

If
I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.

Sir
Isaac Newton (1642-1727)

Idealism
If you feel it's your duty to try to improve the world, just remember...

Today's
solutions create tomorrow's problems.

Ignorance

"I
do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I
seem to have been only a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting
myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier
shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all
undiscovered before me."

Sir
Isaac Newton (1642-1727)

Immortality

The
soul that rises with us, our life's star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!
Shades of the prison-house begin to close
Upon the growing boy.

William
Wordsworth (1770-1850)FromIntimations of Immortality.

Inner Being
If you donít believe weíve got one, why do we say "Iíll sleep
on it." when faced with a problem? Besides, who else do you think
does your dreaming? Here's yet another of my ideas generated from
Unzipped
- my book of dreams:

Hold fast to your inner being
and countless facets
of a hidden diamond
will throw beams of multicoloured light
into the bowl of eternity
illuminating your darkest fears.

There
is a place in all of us that is available at all times, and
our inability to make contact with another human being is our
own inability to get out of the place we are stuck in.

On
that best portion of a good man's life;
His little, nameless, unremembered acts
Of kindness and of love.

From Lines written a few miles above Tintern Abbey
William Wordsworth (London, 1798)

Intuition
Intuition is a combination of intelligence, observation and imagination.
Women are encouraged in it, men discouraged, but we all have all
these qualities and can all develop them further. Techniques and
strategies include:

Observe people in public places (cafés,
buses, etc.) and ask yourself what are the best and worst
things that have ever happened to them? What makes them happy?
What makes them unhappy? Do you trust them? (It doesnít matter
if youíre right. Thatís not the point.)

Try reading your friendsí palms. (It doesnít
matter if you believe in palmistry.) The object is
to awaken your intuitive powers. Read a book on hand-reading
first to learn the vital lines. An added bonus is that it
gives you a reason for touching people. But note, because
everyone loves hearing about themselves, if you start doing
someone in a group, a queue will quickly form and youíll become
the most popular person there.

Law

The
laws of God, the laws of man,
He may keep that will and can;
Not I: let God and man decreeLaws for themselves
and not for me;And if my ways are
not as theirsLet them mind their
own affairs.Their deeds I judge
and much condemn,Yet when did I make
laws for them?Please yourselves,
say I, and theyNeed only look the
other way.But no, they will not;
they must stillWrest their neighbour
to their will,And make me dance as
they desireWith jail and gallows
and hell-fire.And how am I to face
the oddsOf manís bedevilment
and Godís?I, a stranger and afraidIn a world I never
made.They will be master,
right or wrong;Though both are foolish,
both are strong.And since, my soul,
we cannot flyTo Saturn nor to Mercury,Keep we must, if keep
we can,These foreign laws
of God and Man.

A.E.
Housman

Life

The
mystery of life is not a problem to be solved,
but a reality to be experienced.

Van der Leeuw

LonelinessGreat
cities multiply chance encounters with strangers until they become
a daily commonplace. Yet every such encounter could still be the
beginning of a marvellous adventure. This is the excitement of
the city; this is why we put up with the pandemonium and the pace,
the pollution and the pressure.
How paradoxical then that we should spend so
much of our time pretending those people queuing with us for the
bus, or sitting next to us in a restaurant, are not there at all!
And how paradoxical the consequences of our dishonesty! For as
a result of it our fellow citizens become as isolated from us
as the myriad dummies arranged in graceful poses in glittering
shop windows all over the city.
Why do we continue with this folly despite the
inescapable truth that, like us, every one of our fellow citizens
has lived a life of 60-minute hours, 24-hour days, 365-day years,
year in and year out, leading inexorably to that inescapable moment
of miraculous clarity when we finally understand that simple acknowledgement
of their equality dissolves loneliness forever?

"...
a thimbleful of water is only midway between an H2O
molecule and the oceans, so that if you should dump a thimble
of water into Liverpool Harbor today and wait a few years for
thorough diffusion, you probably could not dip a thimbleful
out of the Straits of Magellan or Tokyo Bay without its including
at least a few molecules of the same water."

Music
of the Spheres, Guy Murchie, Houghton Miffin, New
York 1961.

It follows that every molecule of water in your
body has been in every ocean and every human body in the world.
So, no matter how lonely you feel, it is simply a statement of
the truth to say that we are all literally made of the same
stuff.

Be
humble for you are made of dung.Be noble for you are
made of stars.

Serbian Proverb.

Love

An ounce of love
is worth a ton of sex.

Peter Granger (1953 - 1986)

Children
of the Future Age
Reading this indignant page,
Know that in a former timeLove! sweet Love!
Was thought a crime.

Insubstantial though it may
be
the soul carries weight where it counts:
it mounts the vortices of spirit
like a lark in summer the columns of warming air,
accomplishing distance without transference,
a formless projectile
with a homing device
called love.

Superabundant wealth is having
love to spare.
Crippling poverty is having only things.

LustHere
are two amusing procedures for coping with the healthy, normal
human attribute of lust. They work, are easy to do and have at
least two pleasant side effects: first, they reveal that lustful
feelings can be enjoyed without producing a corresponding desire
to do anything about them; second, they reveal that it's agreeable
to view desirable beings as gorgeous blooms in a public garden
where we may walk for our delight provided we don't try to pick
the flowers:

Resolve to remain entirely passive for one
week and observe how it changes the way other people respond
to you.

When out walking, count everyone you pass
till you see someone who attracts you then restart your count
from zero. Repeat this procedure till you've discovered an
average figure for the proportion of humanity that excites
you. (Prepare to be astonished!)

MaliceIf
you find one of your friends spends most of your time together
condemning the behaviour of other, absent, shared friends, you
can be sure they do exactly the same to you when you're the one
who's not there. Avoidance is the best policy towards such wounded
souls - unless you truly wish to take on the thankless task of
helping them shoulder the pain that has resulted in such self-destructive
behaviour.

MoodEveryone experiences
monthly mood cycles which have profound affects on how we feel
about life. If you don't believe it, keep a chart of your daily
disposition for a few months and observe your growing understanding
of yourself. Try scoring the following aspects out of ten every
night before going to bed:

General
well-being.

Appetite.

Physical
energy.

Friendliness
to others.

Sex drive.

You might
be surprised at the outcome.

Nudity
For more than twenty years (in the days when my books were earning
enough to permit it) I spent my summers on a beautiful Mediterranean
island called the Ile du Levant where, among many other
attractions, everyone could and did swim and sunbathe naked, weather
permitting. So I know by direct personal experience that nudity
promotes calm repose and simple honesty while clothing promotes
nervous prevarication and unavoidable deceit. I once spent five
continuous months there and still remember my shock on my return
to the mainland at how ugly everyone looked in their
crinkly, ill-fitting, flirtatious, fashionable, casual clothing.
Try it yourself and discover this important truth: Naked people
look you directly in the eyes when conversing with you. So
it's by direct personal experience that I know the heavy price
we pay for the physical comfort of clothes; and, more importantly,
that those who haven't been fortunate enough - or brave enough
- to experience their bodies in their natural state can't begin
to realise how beneficial it is in every way.

Pain- Back/NeckIf you
habitually hang your head (in shame!) your posture will be adversely
affected and neck/and or back pain will be one certain result.
Although the design of modern furniture rarely helps, most neck
and back pains derive from bad posture which itself usually derives
from low self-esteem. So, although the following basic exercises
will definitely help relieve the physical symptoms, in the long
run you will need to deal with the root cause of your pain by
learning to hold your head high and walk tall - an impossibility
if you don't love yourself!

Before
rising from your bed each morning, stretch your whole body luxuriously
like a cat.

Pain -
Head
If you suffer from chronic headaches, you should consult a doctor,
but mild ones can usually be gently stroked away with a simple
face massage, so if you have a trusted friend don't hesitate to
ask for one. (Remember - most people like to help others.)

As long as one man or woman remains a slave,
then the Messiah will not come.
For we shall make our own paradise or not have it at all.

Hunting Midnight,
Richard Zimler, Delacorte Press, 2003.

Parties
and how to survive them

Don't
go if you don't enjoy them. (There are plenty of other ways
of making friends.)

Leave
the instant you've had enough.

SeeFriends

Passive
Aggression
Everyone knows someone who despite being apparently quiet and
meek manages to dominate any group they join. Many years ago I
knew just such a man when he was a troubled teenager. One day
a group of us went for a picnic on a beach. The sun was shining,
the sea was blue, it was a lovely day and we were all happy, relaxed
and smiling. Except this young man, who wouldn't join us but wouldn't
go away. What he chose to do was to hover nearby and stare beseechingly
at the group till I fell into his trap and accused him of anti-social
behaviour, thereby confiming him in the victim role he'd chosen
and justifying his outraged : "Who, 'ickle me?" response.
Recently, twenty years later, I was walking
along the street when I saw him sitting in a cafe and greeted
him. I hadn't seen him for many years and was genuinely pleased
and surprised to see him, especially as I'd heard he'd been ill
and he was looking well, even prosperous. His response was to
deliver a vile torrent of abuse at me using offensive swear words
I choose not to repeat.
On reflection, I realised this recent encounter confirmed
what I'd detected all those years before - that, despite the victim
role he'd chosen to play then, he had as much aggression and rage
in him as everyone else on the planet. Of course. But I didn't
enjoy this recent encounter and hope never to see him again. Nevertheless
I prefer the honesty of his recent hostility to his counterfeit
meekness then.

PatienceThe pace of life in modern cities is a recipe for stress
and irritability and certainly doesn't nurture the virtue of patience;
but the busiest person I know lives in splendid rural isolation
where he still manages to spend every day rushing around doing
"important tasks". So these calming techniques may be
helpful for centring yourself wherever you happen to be - for
example, during enforced waits for buses, trains or planes, or
in long queues:

Happy ending
and hopeful beginning
are separated only by a flash.
For every moment is the beginning of eternity
and every moment is the end of human history.
So permit no distraught thoughts to how
"then" and "soon" can parry
their artificial divisions.
Your present perplexity
has existed always
and will exist
forever.

PostureStanding as
tall as you can is guaranteed to help you feel better, whatever
your current circumstances. Whenever you see someone with bad
posture, use it as a useful reminder to check your own:

Imagine youíre suspended by an invisible rope
from the crown of your head. Imagine the weight of your body
pulling your spine downwards as you hang from this rope. Notice
that youíve grown an inch or so. Note how much better you feel.
Note how you feel as you relax back into your normal posture.

Poverty

Poverty enobles. Wealth corrupts.

Power
The only power worth having is power over yourself. Practice self-discipline
and watch your self-esteem grow.

PrayerTwenty years ago a dear friend died of bronchitis.
We had often discussed life's ineffable mysteries so when my sense
of loss became unbearable I felt moved to say a silent blessing
for him. Some months later I was overcome with doubt and began
to wonder if it could possibly serve any purpose other than to
comfort me. That night my friend came to me in a dream. "Everything
for me comes directly to me," his dream self said and I awoke
feeling comforted. I've never forgotten this magical gift of his.
This is the silent blessing I used (and still use) whenever I
think of someone I love:

Bless
you (name).
May you live in peace and joy
and light and love forever.

And here's a prayer used in Tours Cathedral where
St. Martin was Bishop 371-397 A.D.:

HOLY SPIRIT OF CREATION
May this candle I have lit
be LIGHT from you
to lighten my way through hardship and decisions.

May it be FIRE from you
to burn up my selfishness,
my pride and all that is impure in me.

May it be FLAME from you
to warm my heart
and teach me to love.

HOLY SPIRIT OF CREATION
I know I cannot stay long in your house.
May this candle be a piece of myself
that I offer you.
Help me to continue my prayer
in all that I do this day.

Satisfaction
We all need a little satisfaction every day if we're to stay spiritually
healthy. But it doesn't have to be important things. Set yourself
simple projects (making bread, taking care of your plants, cleaning
your home, painting a picture, writing a poem, ringing a friend
etc.) so that as you lie down to sleep at night, the thought of
those few small things accomplished sets your mind at rest.
And remember, a simple cup of tea or coffee
tastes as good to the poor and meek as it does to the rich and
famous - indeed, it's easy to argue that it probably tastes better.

See alsoFame

Self-esteem
"Love your neighbour as you love yourself," say Christians,
but seem not to notice the injunction is useless if you donít
love yourself. Yet every day feelings of worthlessness lead
desperate people to take their own lives and every day each of
us must somehow find enough self-esteem to go on living despite
lifeís bitter blows. Having good friends is a help but self-esteem
based on the opinions of others is fugitive. Almost all the self-healing
techniques here will help to escape the downward spiral of despair.
Donít prejudge them! The mere fact of beginning starts
the healing process:

1) Compile a list of everyone youíve ever
known. Take as long as you like but start today observing
your self-esteem on a daily basis as you proceed. Try to
add more names every day till you reach, say, two hundred. Ignore
that voice that says your memory isn't good enough - you donít
have to think of two hundred at once, just a few each day. Here
are the first few names from my personal list as an example
of how easy it is to start...

Mum

Dad

Peter

Nana

Auntie
Nellie

Auntie
Ida

Uncle
Frank

Jean

Auntie
Winnie

Uncle
Eric

Brenda

Rita

Auntie
Dora

Uncle
Dudley

Janet

Auntie
Dot

Uncle
Philip

Laurie

2) Remember that taking good care of your body
is an effective way of expressing love for yourself which still
works when you find it a bore.
3) Give yourself occasional (healthy!) treats: a bowl of your
favourite cereal, a glass of wine with your supper, a visit
to your favourite place. (But be careful! Indulging addictions
- such as smoking - express and encourage low self esteem!)

Serenity
Joyful serenity can be attained by all who accept life mindfully.
But note that it is not a reward for good behaviour, nor is failure
to achieve it a punishment for bad. It is merely the blossom that
flowers at the end of each branch of the tree of life. Be patient,
your bud is forming. The blossom will be yours!

Sex
Within moments of your birth the question: "Is it a girl or a
boy?" was almost certainly asked and answered, and the seemingly
inescapable process of pigeon-holing the miraculous diversity
of your humanity had begun.
But did you know that there's an island in the
Caribbean where a significant proportion of girls turn into boys
at puberty? Did you know that much of our understanding of the
true nature of our sexual anatomy is derived in part from scientific
research carried out on that island? Did you know that it is now
generally accepted by the scientific world that the natural form
of the human is female? Did you know that the male embryo has
to follow an extraordinarily difficult route if it is to make
it as a man? Did you know that the embryo has both male and female
interior anatomy, that all men have vestigial vaginas and all
women have vestigial penises? (Have you never asked yourself why
men have nipples?)
The scientifically proven truth is that maleness
is achieved - with varying degrees of success - by hormonal activity
in the mother's womb before birth, during babyhood and again,
vitally, at puberty. The outcome of these complex bodily processes
is far from a foregone conclusion and widespread variations are
common.
One mother on the Caribbean island, four of
whose six sons had started out as daughters, was asked if she
found this fact troubling. "No," she said. "It's God's
work and God knows what he's doing." Thereby showing more simple
goodness and humility than those deeply troubled souls all over
the world who prescribe how men and women should behave.

Into the black vaults of night
the soul's messengers
streak halfway to the stars
before thought can even begin
its stately journey.
What secrets are uncovered
by these mighty curves?
What tasks accomplished,
that the daily self
might sleep thus all unknowing?

Entering outer space from inner
we must put on our space suits,
for the inner being cannot function
in the world of objects
without the protection
of its shell of flesh.

Teeth
Take good care of your teeth and you can keep them for life. Though
having a check up once a year is a good idea, what you do at home
will have a far more positive affect on your dental destiny than
anything your dentist can do. In particular it's vital to thoroughly
remove
plaque at least once a day. (If you're not sure what it is or
how to do it properly,
see a dental hygienist.)

Never carry anything important in a shoulder-bag. (If you
have to carry a lot of cash, keep it in a money-belt or Tubigrip.

Make a list of the numbers of your passport, credit and cheque
cards, driving licence, International Driving Permit and travellers'
cheques (together with the address of the refunding agency)
and put a copy in each item of your luggage. SeeBlank
security information sheet

Take a torch.

Take a universal plug.

Take an effective insect repellent.

Always ask to see a hotel room before accepting it.

Plus, for hot countries...

Have a gamma globulin injection against hepatitis A.

Take the appropriate malaria pills from one week before leaving
to six weeks after you return home.

Keep a supply of pure water in a flask, so that you're never
forced to drink infected water.

Take a diarrhoea remedy for times (such as on a long bus journey)
when you have no access to a lavatory.

Make no mistake!
Be on your guard!
Whenever there's trouble
come down on them hard!
They're all out to get you -
you know that it's true -
so get them before they get you!
Don't ever trust!
Don't show that you care
or admit that you're lonely!
Don't ever dare!
Follow these rules
and none will suspect
your soft inner part
or try to connect
with your true inner heart.

Truth
Every time you tell a lie you place a brick in a wall that, if
you persist, will rise up and separate you from your fellows forever.

Truth
lies within ourselves; it takes no rise from outward things,
what'er you may believe. There is an inmost centre in us all,
where truth abides in fullness and to know rather consists in
opening out a way whence the imprisoned splendour may escape
than in effecting entry for light supposed to be without.

Robert Browning

UnpuctualityIf you arrive
late for every appointment and have a collection of individuals
permanently waiting for you to show up somewhere, I suggest that
you're practising passive aggression at your friends' expense.
This is not only inconsiderate, but unkind. Once you've
made the decision to honour your friends' time as you do your
own, it's simple to allow enough time for the journey and a
little extra for the unexpected.

See also Passive
Aggression

Wealth

Poverty enobles. Wealth corrupts.

Wonder
The world is more marvellous than we can know. Exaggeration is
impossible. Stupendous discoveries await all with an inkling to
conceive them. Through its puritanical filter pedestrian power
rarely glimpses what throws geniuses out of kilter.

Work

Getting
and spending, we lay waste our powers.

William Wordsworth

The Final Word
Here's the last of my ideas generated by dreaming Unzipped:

The final word
of the most brilliant thought
which can be expressed
is no more than the first word
of that thought to which we strive.