Monday, February 09, 2009

Love Intercedes

I think it’s safe to say we all pray for our husbands but do we really pray for them or do we pray for them to understand us or our views?Today’s exercise is an exercise I’ve been focusing on for the last few weeks. I allotted so much time not because of the difficulty of the exercise but because I felt it was important to get back to the roots of prayer and prayer for my husband.I’ll be honest, my prayers of late have been singleminded. Yes I focus on the well being of my friends and family. Yes, I prayed for my husband but like new parents, my prayers have been focused on my daughter. I thank the Lord for blessing me with her presence and I pray for her to continue to grow intellectually, physically and mentally. I pray she grows to be a strong, compassionate woman.I will always continue to pray for my child(ren) but today’s exercise reminded me of not only praying for my husband but praying for his needs not mine. Too many times, I pray for my husband to have clarity of my vision not his. It’s all too self serving so I started praying every day for my husband’s well being in general. I know he has dreams and aspirations so I pray that whatever he aspires to, he reaches it. I know he is searching for his path so I pray for him to find his path no matter where it leads.. I know his focus is blurry so I pray for clarity in vision.How does it feel? It feels good. I had been thinking too much of what would be best for me. Juggling work, family, spouse, house and me has been tiring. Sometimes I wonder why should I do so much. I’m not angry at him nor am I valuing my time and effort more than his. I’m just tired. I once said that relationships are all about tolerance, how much you can tolerate defines the workload rationing. My tolerance level is low. I’m a be prepared gal. He’s a we’ll get by guy. It works out well in the end, this yin and yang, but it can drive a girl scout like me up the wall sometimes.I stopped praying for what would make my life easier and started praying for my husband’s desires. Instead of praying for my husband to be more understanding and compassionate, I prayed for him to get the answers he sought through his prayers. In a way, it’s fulfilling a bit of my ‘2009-Choosing Life’ resolution. By moving the focus away from what I hoped for him, I’m paying less attention to the small things that can annoy and pester a relationship. It’s not longer I want my husband to be more understanding of me but more, I want my husband to be happy and fulfilled. For if my husband is happy and fulfilled, my life and my child’s life are that much closer to being happy and fulfilled. We’re a team.

"Have you ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into your spouse's hidden faults?...No one knows better how to pray for your mate than you." -- The Love Dare By Stephen and Alex Kendrick