Month of November - praying for the dead

A few years ago I had the opportunity to find the grave of my grandparents and my uncle. I had been there before, but I always forget exactly where they are buried. We found them. Their graves were overgrown and looked untended, uncared for and unloved. That wasn't true of course. They were still loved deeply. I know my sister and I will always have a special place in our hearts for them. Yet my practice of praying for their souls was a lot like their graves had become, untended, and uncared for.

That November I made a promise to turn that around. November is a perfect time to do that as it is the month when the Catholic Church remembers all of the dearly departed. I take the pictures of all of my beloved dead relatives and friends, and put them in a prominent place so that we remember to pray for them every day during the month. I talk to the children about each one and remind them of the importance of prayer for the deceased.

The Catholic Culture Site reminds us that we may earn indulgences for the souls in purgatory.

Praying for the Dead and Gaining Indulgences During November

Indulgenced Acts for the Poor SoulsA partial indulgence can be obtained by devoutly visiting a cemetery and praying for the departed, even if the prayer is only mental. One can gain a plenary indulgence visiting a cemetery each day between November 1 and November 8. These indulgences are applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory.

A plenary indulgence, again applicable only the Souls in Purgatory, is also granted when the faithful piously visit a church or a public oratory on November 2. In visiting the church or oratory, it is required, that one Our Father and the Creed be recited.

A partial indulgence, applicable only to the souls in purgatory, can be obtained when the Eternal Rest (Requiem aeternam) is prayed. This is a good prayer to recite especially during the month of November:

Many families add to the "Prayer Before Meals" the second half of the "Eternal Rest" prayer:Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts,Which we are about to receive,from Thy bounty,through Christ, our Lord, Amen.And may the souls of the faithful departed,through the mercy of God,rest in peace. Amen.Other families recite the "Eternal Rest" prayer in between decades of the rosary.

From time to time, I'll get a thought in my mind of someone I use to know, who is now departed. Maybe the kid's old piano teacher, or Mr. Wolverton who use to drive us kids to band, or Uncle Harry, who really wasn't my uncle at all, but a nice friend of my grandfather's who put up with the shows my sister and I use to put on way to often. I think maybe that's a sign that I need to pray for them, or they can use those prayers for someone else. I try to say a quick prayer then.

Resources for remembering the poor souls in purgatory during the month of November.

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It seems that one of the biggest events in confirmation preparation in this country is the letters of support to be given to the confirmation candidates during their mandatory retreats.

I have three such letters saved on this blog:

Confirmation letter to my daughterConfirmation letter to my fourth sonConfirmation letter to to my third son
I've asked my children what they remember about the letter they got from me and their dad, and also what they remembered about the letters they received.
The answer was not much, or at least nothing specific. In general they were happy to have gotten a bag full of letters and there was a sense of feeling loved and supported. I guess that's the main thing - for them to have a sense that this is an important step in their spiritual growth, and that people they know, love and respect have taken the time out of their lives to let them know that!
So here are some tips on procuring and writing letters for young confirmation candidates. Start thinkin…

March 5 and 6, 2010
My Dearest Gabe;
I can’t express to you enough what a wonderful gift you have been to your father and me from the very moment you were born. You have always been such a beautiful, good natured, fun loving and enjoyable baby, little boy and now young man. I am so proud of you and so honored to be your mother.

You know Gabe, you have always been a big guy. When I was pregnant with you the midwife was always amazed at how big you were getting inside of my stomach. And when you came out (with much effort!) you were as big as some 3 month olds! You have stayed ahead of the curve in size for kids your age. I think it is because God has given you a big heart. You are so full of love and joy you needed a big heart to keep it all in and a big body to hold it all. You are my gentle giant.

I know God has a special plan for you and I look forward to helping you figure out what that might be. Always hang on to the memory of these times, remember all that your father and I…

In a few weeks you will be confirmed as a full member of the Catholic Church. Congratulations! I know that you have really worked hard to understand and learn as much about your Catholic faith as you could before receiving this sacrament.
On your retreat there are a few things your Dad and I would like you to remember -

You were our fourth son in a row but you have always been a unique little boy. I love your bright blue eyes, all of those freckles and dimples. I guess God really wanted you to tap into your Celtic Heritage!

I love how you are always ready with a quick smile for everyone.

I loved how even when you were a baby you would cry when a baby on t.v. was crying, or if a kid outside was crying or basically when you saw anyone crying - you didn't even have to know why - you just did. That's great empathy and you still have that today. Don't lose that. It's a great gift to be able to relate to people even when they are at their lowest.15 R…

This is from a discussion I participated on over at the now defunct Birth Control and Catholic Church Forum aka the boardIlovetocommenton. This was a very pro-contraception, dissident Catholic discussion board. I originally posted this on January 21, 2004. Their points initalics, and my responses are highlighted.

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One key point we keep making on the discussions is about how and why the sex act is actually used by married couples, and in this sense, there is absolutely no difference between NFP and ABC in the acts couples make use of (assuming they're using NFP to avoid conception). I would disagree. The is a key element in the practicing Catholic couple's use of NFP in the marital act, is their respectful understanding and acceptance of the teaching of the Catholic Church as well as their submission to that in obedience to Christ's teaching. This is something that is fundamentally missing from the marital act with artificial contraception.

I cannot believe that you are old enough to make your confirmation!! The time has flown by for me! When I was growing up, I always wondered what my own daughter would be like. And I was sure that I would have a daughter because I was the oldest daughter, of the oldest daughter, of the oldest daughter!

But after having your four brothers in a row, even I was beginning to have my doubts! But God had you in the plan after all!

I was amazed when you were born - at your beauty and femininity -at just at how lucky we were to have you!

You were a special surprise too because you came only 15 months after your brother Noah! But as hard as it was having two babies at the same time, I love how close you two have always been, and grateful that you would always have each other to love and count on.

Of course you know you were named for your grandpa Isadore - whom I sure you would have loved very much. In some ways you are very much like him - quietly keeping things to …

God's Not Dead is an uplifting and enjoyable Christian-based movie appropriate for students from elementary school through college and their parents. We went with two of my teenage children and my 8-year-old daughter and we all enjoyed the movie and have had many discussions about it since.

We enjoyed it as a family, but I would also recommend this movie for church youth groups and homeschooling groups. I hope to buy the DVD when it comes out to donate it to our parish.

The premise of the movie involves a freshman philosophy student's challenge to defend the existence of God to his adversarial and intimidating philosophy teacher and his classmates. The stories of other characters (a preacher, a selfish business man, a young woman caring for her mother with dementia, a successful blogger who faces a devastating diagnosis, and a Muslim convert to Christianity) are woven into the plot line until they are…