Sunday, April 23, 2006

Meet the Parents

So my dad is not quite a retired CIA psycho running background checks on all my potential beaus. But if you came face to face with this:

...would you run?Ahhh, poor dad. He's so cute. Always posing for the photos. I figure I have a lifetime of getting him back on film since he was the budding weekend photog during my gawky teenage years and OHMYGOD there are so many exceptionally unflattering photos of me roaming about that he simply would NOT delete (or, in the old days, rip up and burn the negatives) because would you look at that lighting!? And oooh the composition is so artistic!

-making a gagging face-

Come to think of it, I'm sure dad has some photos where I was making that very same face.

Anyway, the parents were down for a brief visit this weekend (before jetting off on their transatlantic cruise to -- hello! Spain and Italy -- good God, how I despise them! And by despise I mean feel insanely jealous of their international travel lifestyle and wish desperately that I was still little and could tag along. So there were two options -- miss out on seeing Chulo this weekend, or drop him immediately into the boiling oil that is my family.

Boiling oil it is!

And he did smashingly well. They like him... I didn't even have to ask. I'll let dad ruminate for a while since he's at sea, but we'll be seeing them again in a couple of weeks (flying up to spend the weekend with the parents in very serene setting in upstate NY, before heading south --as in to hades-- for the wedding) and I will question him then... see what he thinks. He's the kind of person though, that you can always see it in his face even if his mouth is saying something else. And when we dropped them off at the port and he shook Chulo's hand and said it was good to meet him... yeah, he meant it.

The guy is just so kind and sweet and respectful. I know I use that word a lot when describing him but it's one of his prime characteristics. I guess it's been a while (or maybe ever) since I've been with someone who was raised with the same values as I was.

No question that Mom likes him. She said you can tell immediately that he'll be a good father. That made me smile and I'm still smiling thinking about her saying it, with absolutely no prompting from me.

It really does matter to me if my friends and family like the person I'm with. Because I figure if they don't, then there may be something about him that I am missing whilst gazing lovingly through my rose-coloured glasses. Of course there's always something, but the little things I can pick up on my own, and then decide if I'm willing to deal with them or not. And what I'll deal with is not always reasonable... Like I will (or, mejor dicho, I have in the past) put up with selfishness and inconsideration (which I suppose are two branches of the same tree) and immaturity, but I once broke up with a guy because of the pansy way he swallowed Coke. I mean I cannot even really explain the motion ... but trust me, it wasn't pleasant to watch. And of course that's not the whole reason I broke it off, but it was up there. And it kinda coloured the other things about him...so that at the end of the relationship he was just this wimpy-guzzle Coke drinker.

I know, I'm crazy.

It's late and I'm rambling for no good reason. Or for the simple reason that I'm still awake and shouldn't be. The truth is I started this post several hours ago (pre-Wallace & Gromit with pizza) and knew just the photo of dad I wanted to post but was too lazy to look for it just then so when I headed to bed I realised I'd left the computer on and decided to find the photo and finally finish my post.

How's that for commitment?

Anyway it is so very past my bedtime so I'ma scoot but just so ya know, he met the parents, he came out of it unscathed (and so did they, and for that matter, so did I), and it was general happiness all around.

Actually this evening I was thinking that this weekend was SO good that it felt like a long weekend when it wasn't.

And now all I have to do is wait for next weekend to hurry up and arrive so I can see him again. -sigh-

good to know that chulo passed the parental test ... coming from a family where family and parental acceptance is important to me, I know that this is really good news for you.

My dad had nicknames for one of my sisters boyfriends, nicknames he used openly and frequently: "S! Stupid is here!" "S! Dummy is here."

And you know what? He was right on with those. The one she ended up marrying — perfect fit for the family, same religion, same values, same level of respect ... and the fact that he was military and loved hot food were bonuses too!

glad to hear the chuloness continues to be good news (and hot sex, heh).

Yaay poppy. And yaay Chulo. One always wonders how the parents will react. But then again, maybe my grandparents didn't like my dad...and the whole thing turned out OK. And sometimes your friends don't like them for reasons that make no sense or because they wouldn't date them...blah blah. So really you are the only one who can know. Of course all is better when they all loooove one another... but that's not realistic either.

It was huge, but I was trying to keep it low-key... mainly because I sorta feel like... ok, how many more can my parents meet before they're like ... look, just call us once you've got a ring on your finger...we're tired of meeting these notgonnahappens?

Dzer -- I never mentioned hot sex!

And it is very good news. The way a significant other is percieved by and interacts with my family is key, because I am very close to my family and I want my guy to be part of us. I know I keep going back to my sister but really...could her fiance be any less "part of us"?

Butt -- Of course I am the only one who can decide who is or isn't for me... but there's comfort in knowing that your friends and family are comfortable with your choice. When the people who know you best stop and go ... "uhh, really?" ...then you should stop and take another look too. Don't you agree?

Well yes...but then again the "Uh really?" can come for the wrong reasons. And look at you know who giving my sister grief. He was all good with the family...no "Uh really?" There was more "Uh really?" about the other one, and he has turned ou to be a far better person in the end. All I am saying is everyone has an opinion and reason why they have a reaction. And there is always someone out there who disapproves. It's just how it goes. And one can either get caught up in it or let it roll off one's back.

That said...surely it is all much more pleasant when everyone genuinely enjoys everyone else's presence.

awww happy joy, chulo + parents liking each other is lovely! beause while yeah, decisions should always be yours... it's hard when people who have had so much influence in making you who you are don't like your boyfriend. that was the clumsiest sentence ever, but hopefully you get my drift ;-P

Terry -- He's a joker, that dad of mine. That was taken at the tail end of a veeeeeeeeeery long flight from NYC to Cairo and we were all a bit punchy. There's one that he took of my sister and me which is nearly as goofy.

lol. you remind me of myself. I think about the guys I shunned in my youth because of such petty things - like they way they danced, or dressed. I wish I could apologize! lol.

When my ex and I broke up everyone started telling me they didn't think he was all that great. I get some of it, but not entirely. I'm still blinded, I guess. But now I will ask right away what people think and def. take it to heart.

But the opinions of those closest to you are really important. If there's a basis for their dislike, it's worth listening to... because sometimes we ignore so much and then get blindsided when it's too late.

Terry -- I will give a full report upon my return, I promise! And thank you, that's such a nice thing to say!!

Hubris -- he's eerily good at making the freakyeyes, that dad of mine! The funny thing is, he's kinda short, so if you meet him while sitting down he might make ya tremble a little but once he stands up, you go..."hmm, I bet I could take him!"