Monday, 16 May 2016

A Guest Blog: Once Upon a Time

by Abbe McLatchie@abbeeemcOnce upon a time there was a child who was
very sad.Their mummy and daddy were not
able to be good parents to them and they experienced trauma every day.One day the special social work people swept
in on their white steed and rescued the sad child.From then on the child was loved and cared
for in a calm family, they went to school every day and everything was perfect
for them from then on in.

If only this was the case for our
children.The children that we foster
come from scary and scared, anxious and angry, unsettled and unstable
backgrounds, and the love and care we pour into them does go SOME way to
beginning to repair and soothe their trauma, but it is not a magic potion.

The trauma that our children experience is
far reaching and has phenomenal impact.If a child has a broken leg, or bruises – physical manifestations of
their damage and pain – then it seems that people are far more willing to
understand and engage with this to put things in place to support a child in
school.Broken ankle and twisted
knee?No problem, leave classes five
minutes early to miss the rush.Access
the canteen before other pupils.Spend
playtime in the library with your favourite friend and a grown up.Broken heart and attachment disorder?Stop being so naughty.Get on with it.‘There is no reasonable reason for your
child’s behaviour Mrs…’

As a foster parent, your heart sinks
whenever the schools number shows up on your phone.It is very rarely to tell you how fabulous
they’ve been this week.Far more likely
is a request to collect early as they’ve had ‘an episode’.

What schools and teachers don’t often
understand is how to adapt their processes to help meet the needs of our
children.Punishing and shaming a
traumatised child is like painting a puddle – pointless and messy.

I don’t necessarily blame teachers.Class sizes of 30+, new fangled behaviour
management strategies coming down from the powers that be, assessment for
assessment sake and a range of different coloured pens with a code to
remember…teaching is a hard job as we should never forget that.But if my child was dyslexic you would
differentiate the learning materials.If
my daughter had a visual impairment you would produce larger font resources and
sit her nearer the front of the class.If my boy had a bladder disorder you’d give him a toilet pass.Why, oh why can’t you take the time as a
whole school approach to listen to me when I tell you how to help my little
ones manage their anxiety before the chair gets thrown?How to give praise in a way that doesn’t induce
a swearing spitting meltdown in public view.How to help them to find a way to tell the truth that doesn’t include
acrimonious accusations of lies that they probably don’t even know why they’ve
told.

As foster parents we have a huge
responsibility in advocating in education on our children’s behalf.Helping teachers to understand the impact of
trauma – and how to help children learn in spite of this – is critical to
giving our children a fighting chance for life outcomes.Sharing articles, resources, knowledge,
experience and understanding is invaluable. It makes for happier children,
happier teachers and happier schools.Surely that is a goal that we all want to work towards.Maybe someone should mention this to the
education minister as a priority rather than tests for tests sake.Just a thought.