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IMHO people who try and take potshots against poly are all jealous, sexually frustrated, socially trapped people who are bucking the constraints they feel more than they are attacking polyamory.

America is largely sex-negative and we all suffer under the tyranny of the masses. These anti-poly bloggers are simply jealous that they lack the courage to commit to a sex positive, loving lifestyle.

Every fiber of their being screams in protest. Sex is sinful. Monogamy is the only way. Marriage is sacred. Freaks in bed always rape children. The maintain and defend these beliefs out of sheer ignorance.

A lot of people also believe that their way is "the one true path" and don't understand the concept of "different strokes for different folks." That's heavily compounded when you live your life according to a book written hundreds of years ago by tyrants who needed a way to control commoners through mind control and guilt tactics, because earning their support by treating them fairly and giving them what they needed was way too much work.

Sadly, there are far too many people who just aren't happy with their lives. And too many of them are like my late MIL: "If I can't be happy, I don't see why anyone else should."

__________________“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.”—bisexualbaker

"Happiness is selfishness; too many people these days aren't willing to sacrifice; everyone's just about 'me me me' anymore; no one cares about the children; etc. etc. etc."

Many such zealots probably take comfort in the conviction that someday (soon very soon) Jesus is gonna come down and kick some serious behind on such irresponsible polyamorists and other perverts as you and me.

__________________Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"

Netflix had some kind of documentary on polyamorism that I think was part of a series (Strange Sex, but I might be wrong)...and it centered on a woman with two male partners. It seemed to be working well for all of them. Of course this article didn't reference that show

It was kinda disrespectful of Erikson to not mention poly units such as mine (a lifetime poly-fi MFM V), but I guess complaining about that is a bit of a red herring. It's the more fluid poly households that Erikson wants to talk about, the ones where new partners do come and go often, the ones where children are exposed to that and can be affected by it. I suppose she's singling out what she sees as polyamory's weakness, but that's her perogative. So, let's talk about that branch of polyamory. And so far, the answer has been pretty simple. Any adult should be no more involved in a child's life than how long that adult will be around to be involved.

And the other thing is, adults pass in and out of children's lives all the time. What about their school teachers? What about a random police officer (or other adult) a child may greet on the street? What about grandparents that pass away? and most of all, what about platonic friends the child's parents have? Fallings out can happen, adults can disappear from a child's life, and that child may experience an owie because of it. But the only real difference in a temporary poly companion is the sex -- and that's actually not something the child should know much if anything about anyway! So, "Stop poly; save the children," doesn't exactly work as a bombproof argument.

__________________Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"

And the other thing is, adults pass in and out of children's lives all the time. What about their school teachers?

Wow. I've never heard that brought up in these discussions before, but that's such a good point. Teachers spend 6 hours a day, 5 days a week with your kids... They're interacting with them, teaching them, keeping them busy... and then summer comes, and just like that, they're gone. Even live-in partners usually see kids for less time than that, what with people's busy schedules these days. But how many people say "Oh, you shouldn't send your kids to school. They'll get attached to their teachers and then it will be traumatizing when they don't see them anymore."

__________________“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.”—bisexualbaker

Yeah, the, "You're traumatizing the children by removing an adult from their lives," doesn't hold water. Not unless it can be established that the child is a lot more attached to the poly adult than that same child would be attached to one of his/her teachers.

As a piano teacher, I spent 30 minutes a week one-on-one with many children. After months or perhaps years of lessons with me, the child would move on (to another teacher or to another field of study). It was more than just a teaching gig; my students and I became friends in the process. I miss them today, and flatter myself that they miss me too. We all have people come into our lives and then go out again. Missing them is part of the experience of living.

Just think of how the series M*A*S*H ended. Hawkeye and B.J. -- inseparable friends -- said goodbye to each other -- for good. And think of how Lord of the Rings ended. Frodo departed on a ship to the Undying Lands, in the process bidding Sam farewell -- for the rest of Sam's life.

It happens to all of us. We lose people. We miss people. And yet we treasure the memories of good times we shared with them, and life goes on.

With polyamory, I think you have to examine each individual case and judge it on its own merits. You can't just say, "Well you're going to damage the kids every time they lose an adult."

__________________Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"

And think of how Lord of the Rings ended. Frodo departed on a ship to the Undying Lands, in the process bidding Sam farewell -- for the rest of Sam's life.

In the book, Sam follows the others years later after Rosie passes away and his many children (I forget the exact number right now) have come to adulthood. Sam is allowed to go because he also is a ringbearer.

This info is in one of the Appendices.

__________________Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.