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Feel Better Fast Tip:

If you find yourself having another "bad day," guess what? YOU have the power to change it. Think of one or two things that you can do before today ends for YOU. Could you stop by the coffee shop and grab your favorite latte? How about taking a walk by the lake? Get a manicure or start reading that book you've been meaning to get to? There are little ways to make yourself feel good ~ it's just that you have to find them and then DO them! Today, take just a few minutes to do something for Y-O-U! You Fabulous Doll!

Monthly Archives: January 2012

Have you ever had one of those days when you’re really tired of dealing with a breakup? You’re tired of being tired. Maybe you feel physically and emotionally drained. Sometimes, you even wonder if you’ll ever feel like YOU again.

I get you, Sister! During my divorces (yes, I’m twice divorced), I wasn’t even sure who the real me was ~ let alone how to get back to being that gal. Maybe you’ve heard that little voice inside you telling you that the real you is brilliant and amazing and funny and the list goes on.

Well, are you having any fun? Sometimes, a little fun is just what you need to start feeling like your good ol’ self again. I believe fun makes life better. Why not try some of the tips below and find out?

1. Smile. I know it sounds super simple and I’ve said it before but it bears repeating. It’s really hard to feel bad when you’re smiling. Actually, it’s nearly impossible. Therefore, smile away! Contemplate a happy memory or a silly time in your life ~ laugh about it. Smile about it. It feels gooooood.

2. For one day, decide that you’re going to have a sense of humor about everything. Declare your own personal National Sense of Humor Day. Tell a corny joke. Laugh more. Look for the comedy in everyday life. There’s lots of it!

3. Do something creative and kid like and enjoy it. Maybe you haven’t colored with crayons in ages. Perhaps you used to dominate in Monopoly or skip down the street. Whatever it is that brought you happiness as a child ~ try it again as an adult. I bet you’ll have just as much fun as you remember from your childhood days!

4. Turn up the volume of who you are! As Judy Garland said, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else.” It’s true. Make a decision to focus on your best qualities (both mentally and physically) and let them shine!

5. Stop following the rules. Oftentimes, we become so rigid in our expectations. We stay inside the lines ~ always. What if you went outside that box? What is one thing that you could do that would break one of your rules and be fun? To borrow the line from Nike, Doll ~ Just Do It! Surprise yourself with your bravado. Enjoy it. Who knows? Maybe it will become a habit.

6. BONUS TIP! I used to carry around a little card with happy (mostly super hilarious) memories that would inevitably make me crack up every time I thought of them. At moments when I needed it, I would whisk out my trusty index card and read one. Within moments, I’d be chuckling to myself. Why not take a minute right now and make your own card? It’s like having your own little arsenal of fun right in your pocket ~ anytime you need it!

I hope that fun is becoming a bigger and bigger part of your life. Even as you’re dealing with a breakup, it’s so important to keep the “F” word part of your life ~ namely FUN! (You thought I was going to say something else, didn’t you?) Wink ~ wink! So what are you waiting for? Go have some fun!

Q: Hi, Laura. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years suddenly and unexpectedly. Well, I guess it should have been expected. We were fighting alot and he was very mean and disrespectful and verbally abusive. I left one day without a word and only my purse and never went back. I was very distraught and left all my belongings. Now that it’s been a few months, I want to get my stuff from him. I have not called or spoke to him at all since leaving so I’m not sure how he will feel about giving up my stuff. I know that if I talk to him he will try to con me back into being with him. If I send somebody, he will probably get mad and act stupid! I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss. My stuff is important to me. I just don’t know. I need some advice.

A: Angie, I want to start this out by saying how courageous I think you are. Without knowing the details, I can imagine that the relationship you were in was very difficult for you. Do you know how many women just allow relationships like that to continue on and on and on? But not YOU! You are incredibly strong.

With regard to your belongings, the way I see it, you have three choices. These choices really only apply if he still has your things. It seems possible that if it’s been several months that he no longer has them anyway.

Choice #1: Contact him.

* Do you really want to talk to him again? Really? Bringing any of his energy back into your life would not serve you and would not serve the person you’ve become.

* Are you prepared to handle his charming ways? As you say in the paragraph above, he may try to “con you back” into being with him. Especially if you’re still feeling emotional about the breakup, I’d steer clear of him just to avoid this. It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment and make yourself believe that he’s changed. However, within a month or two or even sooner, you’re right back to where you started.

Choice #2: Have someone else contact him on your behalf.

* If he’s an unpleasant person (and it sounds like he can be), do you want to put someone else in that position? It’s probably safe to assume that the task of retrieving your things would be a miserable way to spend an afternoon for anybody.

Choice #3: Strut your stuff because you rock!

Angie, focus on the flame inside of you. I know it had to be burning so brightly on the day you made the decision to end this relationship and leave with only your purse. What does that moment in your life say to the world? “I am Angie and in case you didn’t know, I AM IMPORTANT! I am worth more than this. I know that. I own it. Watch me leave!” Your flame is getting brighter and brighter each day. You made a decision that respects yourself so much and you stuck with it. Do you want to dim that flame by inviting him, in any form, back into your life?

If there’s anyone that understands leaving with nothing, I do. I left my first husband with only a suitcase full of clothes. I came back home with no education (I had dropped out of college so I could follow him around the country as he was in the Navy), no job, no money. However, there was a spark inside me. I knew that I would be okay. I didn’t know exactly how it would all work out, but I had earned some self-respect that I hadn’t had before. Looking back now, I have to say that I’m very proud of myself for doing that. I learned just how strong I am.

You’re on a path now of self-respect that is worth way more than any “stuff.” I think you know that too. That’s why you haven’t contacted him. You know, deep down, that you are waaaaay too fabulous for him!