Musicians sound better dead

As albums of recently deceased Prince top the charts, replacing David Bowie’s back catalogue, it has become clear that the public only appreciate creativity when it is starting to decompose. Rather than purchase a CD while the artist was alive (and relevant), most prefer to wait for funeral bells and a cast iron guarantee that they will never record again.

Anyone with a lute always sounds better dead

Some fickle fans have been accused of being mawkish or over-exaggerating a musical legacy; particular around claims that ‘Ronnie Corbett was the Fifth Beatle’. Whereas others have attempted to jump on any musical bandwagon – provided it looks like a hearse. Reminiscing about concerts they were clearly either too stoned to remember, too young to have known or too into ‘New Kids on the Block’ to have actually attended.

One newly found fan of Prince explained: ‘Prior to his death all I could hear was discordant noise, accompanied by a shrill whine. But now I realise he was a genius. With the added bonus that I can bang on about his music, without having to listen to anything he did in the last ten years’.

Editors of the NME are now considering replacing their front page with an obituary column. A music historian commented: ‘Mozart died a pauper, yet his work has grown in stature. Likewise Pete Doherty smells like someone died and with the passage time everyone will realise he was sh@t.’

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