I found myself pregnant again when I was 25. I was very happy, and even when the father of the child I carried did not want to have the baby, I remained happy and planned my life as a single mother. I thought that by the time I delivered this child I would be mature enough and would have had enough life experience to be a wonderful, loving mother.

Things didn't quite go that way! I was terrified when he arrived. Scared that I would do all the wrong things, motherhood does not come with the delivery. I really thought I would be fine since I wasn't a teen or a very young mum. I kept my fears to myself and did the only thing that I could... my very best. Of course, I screwed up on a number of occasions, but the experience made me a better mum.

Even up until he was 16 I was worried that I was doing the wrong things. When he made mistakes I figured it was because of something I had done wrong. But eventually I had to let him take responsibility for his actions, and when I did, it was a huge load off my shoulders. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't a bad kid, I had just taken on ALL the responsibility ALL the time.

So here we are now, with him turning 25. He has experienced a lot too.

4 years of university

living in another city by himself

living in another country by himself

teaching in a country whose first language is not English

facing a judge for a error in his own judgment

losing a loved one

watching his friends losing a loved one

long and solid friendships

girlfriends

many types of work

vacations in many parts of the world

However, having taken similar roads, we are different people. I was ready to take on a family, and be the mother and the person who would mould this child's life. He is still looking for fulfillment in his life.

I don't worry about him anymore, because he is a man and is capable of taking care of himself.

The best advice for anyone who has children is to think back to when you were their age and remember how you felt about your life. At 15 things were complicated, at 21 life was exciting, but was your family that important to you? Friends tend to take place of family for a few years, but then in the end, (usually about the time you have children of your own) your family plays an important role in your life.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Saturday was the preparation day. I went to the market and to the grocery store and bought the last minute items necessary for the meal. I also got to the clean up of the apartment and some food preparation. I made the croissants, put together the ingredients for the oven omlettes and prepared all the fruits and vegetables.

Sunday morning I put the omlettes in the oven and started to put the veggie and fruit platters together. At 11:15 the first guest arrived. In the end Thomas cooked the hash browns, bacon and sausages, while I got the rest of the food ready and greeted my guests.

There were 17 of us in all and we had a wonderful time eating and drinking and eating some more. We shared stories and information about ourselves, and generally had a fun time.

The menu had some additions that guests kindly brought along and I think by the end everyone was satisfied by the food.