I've said it before and I'll say it again.

I love my therapist. Not in a romantic way - in a 'jeez, she's a great therapist and I sure am lucky to have her' kinda way.

Good, tho' tearful, session last night where we talked some about my body image and relationship issues. Now I'm trying to focus on what she said.

We were talking about being celibate by choice as opposed to involuntary celibacy (or 'incel' :-( to those of us who are...), and I told her that while I don't feel that I am celibate my choice by any stretch of the imagination, at the same time, I'm not sure I can fathom allowing myself to open up to someone enough to ever end my celibacy. :-((

She said that perhaps, instead of my goal being "sex or marriage" I could make my goal to be comfortable enough that I can choose to be or not be celibate, but not out of fear.

Now, I'm not sure why I would choose to be celibate voluntarily, as I'm not a nun, I'm not taking any religious vows, and I'm not sure it makes much sense to choose celibacy unless you've experienced the other side of it...but I see her point. She's trying to take the fear factor away - have me focus on being comfortable with myself, with others, with being social, with my body, etc., instead of focusing on an end goal of "sex or marriage", which is anxiety and fear-provoking for me.