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Name is a word or a combination of words by which a person, place, or thing, a body or class, or any object of thought is designated, called, or known. Adnos Uyañe Plein is a group of, seemingly nonsensical and unrelated words that was designated to me, by two Grown-Ups otherwise known as my parents, when I was born. Adnos Uyañe Plein then - having no other choice - is my name!

Now in all honesty, I have always been fascinated with Names - People's Name specifically! People's Name and it's etymology constantly occupy my mind. People's Name is also a topic that I would often research about! It is in one of those researches that I found out that the name: Daniel ranked 12th in the 25 Most Popular American Male Names. James, John, Robert, Michael, and William being the First, Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth consecutively! Daniel also means: "The LORD is my Judge". I love the name: Daniel! I wish that it was my name.

More about names, I once was acquainted with a person named: Happy. Now " Happy " is actually an adjective meaning: " Cheerful! " Happy, just like other cheerful adjectives, may be used as People's Name then! Anyway, going back to Happy - the person and not the adjective - In my opinion, his name suits him well as - true to his name - he is indeed a jolly person. I have heard of someone said that your name - the one that you have no choice of having since its your parents or the Grown-Ups choosing it for you - represents the kind of person that you will be!

Several years back, I was fortunate to have been in acquaintance with someone with the First name: Brillan, and with the Last name: Te. When combined together his name would read as: Brillan Te. Such a sparkling name isn't it? Then I have met people with a combination of 2 or more names! Arvey Lester is somebody that I met back in the 1st Grade! Jeffrey Jose is somebody that I used to play Chess with! Juan Karlo was once a friend. Christopher Caezar is a friend who does not know how to say NO to his friends! And Albert Jason is someone whom I used to share my secrets with! Anna Karen Nina, Mary Pauleen Joy, Carl James Nicholas, and Miguel Sebastian Rodrigo are examples of 3 names within 1 name!

Then of course I have met people with uncommon but very interesting names! To name a few: Cleofela Septem, and Xzyql Dominique. Now, I have to admit that my name fall in this category! Anyway - Rouen France, Manila, Paris Grace, Jay Rome and Kenya are friends who were named after the place where they were born! Joselito Gregorio was named after his Grandparents from his Mother and Father's side. And I have even heard of a child being named after a storm, a political figure in history and even after a softdrink brand! Flowers are very common name for girls! There is: Rose, Lily, Dahlia, Jasmine, Daisy and even Geranium! If the Grown-Ups would want it, they could even use Rafflesia! Then there are those named after a specific type of bird: Wren, Raven and even Eagle! Gem stones may also be used as names! Pearl, Ruby, Garnet, Beryl, and even Amethyst! Violet - which is a color produced when you mix Red and Blue - is also used as a girl's name! Brown, White, and Black are often used as Last Names!

Occasions may also be used as person's name! Valentine, Christmas, Winter and Summer are common "Event Names". Foods - including fruits and anything that is sweet tasting - could also be a good source of names! I'm sure you have already heard of someone named: Strawberry, Cherry, Almond, Hazel, Sugar, Candy, Cookie, and Muffin! I even know of one girl named Russel Cake! Now I wonder, has someone - in any part of this world - ever been named: Lasagna or Vinegar or Broccoli or Anchovies or Pepperoni Pizza or Buttered Croissant or California Maki?

There are various ways on how a person could be named! The possibilities are endless! If I had the choice, aside from Daniel, I would absolutely have wanted to be named with any of the following: Will, Jill, Hester, Chester, Peter, Polly, Tim, Tom, Mary, Larry or even Little Clarinda! I wont even mind being named after Santa Claus' Reindeer: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen or even Rudolph! But never in my wildest dream did I ever thought of bearing the name: Ely Rose Apple! Why? Read along!

Ely Rose Apple is the name of the Elsa's classmate who was wearing red headband and whom Elsa - on her first day in school at St. John's Academy - approached to ask where she could take a seat. Now to be frank about it, Ely Rose Apple is such a sweet name for a sour faced, pungent breath and bitter mannered little girl!

Ely Rose Apple is a rich kid. She always has nice clothes to wear! She always has the most expensive bags! Aside from being rich, Ely Rose Apple is also the most popular girl in St. John's Academy! That is why she is always surrounded with "friends"! Her minions which is composed of 4 girls and 2 boys always follow her wherever she goes. Her minions consider her a boss! They always do what she tells them to do!

Ely Rose Apple is an attractive girl! She has an angelic face! As a matter of fact, because of her good looks, she is consistently being voted as class muse! It is also because of her cherubic looks that many boys in school get attracted to her! But behind her heavenly image however hides a monster! Now, allow me to say that: it is with her looks that a lot of people, specially the Grown-Ups, would not believe that she is capable of doing evil things!

Ely Rose Apple is an only child! And as an only child, she gets every single thing that she lays fancy on! Her father always buys her what she wants! Her father always brings her wherever she wants to go! Her father always allow her to do what she feels like doing! Her father doesn't scold her! Her father doesn't tell her what is right and what is wrong!

Ely Rose Apple's father however, is really not a bad person. He is just very busy! He is busy helping other people. He is busy helping anybody who seeks help from him. He is busy donating to charitable institutions, giving alms to the mendicants, helping elderly people cross the street, planting trees to help save the environment, volunteering to clean clogged esteros, and regularly feeding street children!

Ely Rose Apple's father, aside from being busy helping other people is also very busy running their business! Ely Rose Apple's father run a food business! A food business in front of the school. The school which is named: St. John's Academy! Ely Rose Apple's father owns the only gotohan in 10th Avenue Cubao Quezon City! Her father is a very helpful man and a very busy businessman whose name is: Mr. Joselito Montealegre! He is also known as Mang Joey!

Ely Rose Apple's name - in case you have not noticed - has been repeated 12 times already up to this point and if I mention the name again at least once before the end of this paragraph that will all total up in: 13! Now you have to understand why I am doing this! You have to understand really well the reason why! However, if you have no time to understand the reason why I keep repeating the name of the girl whose name I don't wish to bear, and if you feel that it is better to find out how much it would cost to have Cable TV installed into your home than to understand my reason, then by all means, I will explain why I keep repeating the name: Ely Rose Apple!

Now, the reason why I keep repeating the name of Elsa's classmate who was wearing red headband and whom Elsa - on her first day in school at St. John's Academy - approached to ask where she could take a seat is because: this episode - after all - is not about Names but is about The Brattish Bully who has an angelic face, who is very popular, who gets whatever she wants, who can go wherever she wants to go, and whose name is Ely Rose Apple!

Just how brattish Ely Rose Apple is will be the next thing that I shall telling you! Allow me to start with the " Notebook Sticker incident! "

Now, Ely Rose Apple - on Elsa's second week in school - accused the Simple School girl of stealing her expensive Hello Kitty notebook sticker with which Elsa was severely punished! Now what actually happen was: Ely Rose Apple approached Elsa on her seat while the teacher was busy giving her lesson in Addition and Subtraction. Ely Rose Apple pretended to ask Elsa that she wants to borrow a red kilometrico ballpen. When Elsa was on the act of getting the said pen from her bag, Ely Rose Apple then secretly pasted the Hello Kitty notebook sticker on Elsa's Math notebook. When Elsa was about to hand Ely Rose Apple the red Kilometrico ballpen, the Brattish Bully started to scream and shouted on top of her lungs saying: "Teacher! Elsa stole my expensive Hello Kitty sticker! Look! Its pasted on her cheap spiral Math notebook! Its pasted on the upper right hand corner of her locally made notebook! Its pasted about about half an inch from the edge! I am so lonely! Teacher! Punish Elsa! If you don't punish her I will tell my father not to give you an expensive gift on Christmas!" Upon hearing Ely Rose Apple, the Terrible Teacher grabbed Elsa on her hand and dragged the Simple Schoolgirl at the corner of the room then she made Elsa hunker down the whole day! The Terrible Teacher did not investigate! The Terrible Teacher did not ask! The Terrible Teacher instantaneously took the side of the Brattish Bully and unfairly punished the Simple Schoolgirl who never complained!

After classes, Ely Rose Apple - surrounded by her minions - approached Elsa and threatened the Simple Schoolgirl saying: "Hey you! Don't you ever try telling my Daddy what happen in Math Class today! If you do, I will tell him to fire you off our Gotohan! Do you understand?"

The Simple Schoolgirl understood very well what the Brattish Bully said. Elsa did not say a word of protest! Elsa knows what the Brattish Bully was capable of doing! Elsa just thought that the reason why Ely Rose Apple accused her of stealing the expensive Hello Kitty Notebook sticker was for her to learn how to save money so that she could also buy expensive stickers in the future!

After the Notebook Sticker incident, The Brattish Bully once again thought of a way on how to make fun of Elsa. This would be the " Flagpole incident! "

What happen was: A month after the Simple Schoolgirl attended school at St. John's Academy, and a few minutes before the students gather in the quadrangle for the Flag Ceremony on a Monday Morning, Ely Rose Apple - together with her minions - approached Elsa and told her: " Hey you! Today I will accuse you again of stealing! This time I will tell our Teacher that you stole my expensive Hello Kitty key chain! And if you complain, I will tell my Daddy to fire you off the Gotohan! But, if you do what I tell you to do, I will not do what I plan to do! Okay? "

Elsa did not utter a single word. The Simple Schoolgirl simply nodded. The Brattish Bully then said: " Now, I want you to climb to the top of the Flagpole in the quadrangle! Stay there until a Maya Bird with tangerine wings perch at the tip of the flagpole! Go! " Upon hearing Ely Rose Apple's command, Elsa immediately run and sprinted towards the flagpole in the quadrangle! Upon reaching the flagpole, Elsa hurriedly climbed the top of it. It has only been seconds that Elsa was on top of the flagpole when the school bell rung to signal that the students must already gather at the quadrangle for the Flag Ceremony! It was too late for Elsa to get down! The students all gathered up in the quadrangle and the Flag ceremony started. Then before the flag was completely hoisted up, the students started laughing upon seeing Elsa on top of the flagpole! The flag ceremony was put to a halt and the Terrible Teacher - using a megaphone - ordered Elsa to go down! Elsa immediately slid down and was very humiliated! Then the Terrible Teacher grabbed Elsa by the hand and dragged her going to the Principal's office! Elsa was made to clean the whole campus that day as punishment!

Elsa did not complain! Elsa just thought that the reason why Ely Rose Apple made her climb the flagpole to wait for a Maya Bird with tangerine colored wings was for her to be Physically Fit and to be an Animal Lover! She also thought that the reason why she was made to clean the whole campus was for her to learn how to love Mother Earth!

Two weeks after the " Flagpole incident ", Ely Rose Apple - together with her minions - decided to make more fun out of Elsa! Allow me now to tell you about the " Hide and Seek incident! "

It was during Physical Education Class when the Brattish Bully - together with her minions - approached Elsa and told her: " Hey you! We are going to play Hide and Seek! I am thinking of allowing you to join us! But, you have to be the "it"! If you do not agree, I will tell my Daddy to fire you off the Gotohan and I will tell our P.E. teacher to give you a failing grade! " Elsa, upon hearing what Ely Rose Apple said, simply nodded her head!

Ely Rose Apple then told Elsa to go to the Amugis tree near the School Canteen where she must count 1 to 9,274,677,889 with 5 seconds interval each count before she begins seeking! Elsa agreed! Elsa did not complain! The Simple Schoolgirl just thought that the reason why Ely Rose Apple wants her to count that much and with 5 seconds interval is for her to learn how to count well!

Elsa was almost done counting until 9,274,677,889 and was ready to seek when suddenly she sensed a bright light flashing on her face! She opened her eyes and realized that it was dark already! Elsa's eyes was momentarily blinded by the bright light. She tried squinting her eyes to adjust with the bright light ahead and the darkness around her. Then she started seeing a figure of a man holding a flashlight! Then, the man spoke: " Violation number 5: Over Staying! "

The Grovelling Guard grabbed Elsa's hands and dragged her to the Guard House! And while dragging Elsa, Omario Bulatao was saying: " It's 9:36 PM already! All the students left at 4:01 PM! What are you doing inside the campus at this time? I will charge you with Over Staying! and that is your 5th violation already! "

Upon reaching the Guard House, Omario Bulatao then told Elsa, with a soft voice that he will not report the incident anymore to the Principal if she promise to bring 2 orders of Hot Goto with tuwalaya the next day! the Grovelling Guard also told Elsa that she must also bring 5 Okoys, Maanghang na Sawsawan, and 1.5 litres of A and W Rootbeer! Elsa nodded her head. Elsa did not complain. She promised the Groveling Guard to give what he asks to be given. Elsa then thought that the reason why Omario Bulatao asked her to bring him food was for her to learn how to be generous!

The day after the " Hide and Seek incident ", Ely Rose Apple, upon noticing that Elsa was not punished for staying until past 9:00 PM in school, became very furious and she called her minions! Ely Rose Apple told her minions about her next plan! This time, the Brattish Bully thought of a way on how to make Elsa fail in class! I now have to tell you about the double evil deed of Ely Rose Apple! The " Homework incident " and the " Leakage incident "! Allow me to start with the former!

The Terrible Teacher gave the class a homework that will require research work in the library! Elsa did her homework and was infact the only one in the class to do so. The whole class - with the exemption of Elsa - purposely did not do the homework because Ely Rose Apple told them to do so! Ely Rose Apple did this so that she could perform her evil deed! On the day of submission of the homework, Ely Rose Apple approached Elsa and asked if she could copy her homework, Elsa graciously allowed Ely Rose Apple. The Brattish Bully then announced to the whole class that it is only Elsa who has an assignment! All the students approached Elsa and asked the Simple Schoolgirl if they too could copy the assignment. Elsa agreed. Elsa was happy that she was able to help her classmates!

Finally, the Terrible Teacher arrived and asked for all homework to be submitted. Elsa submitted her notebook. The Simple Schoolgirl was feeling very confident that finally her teacher might appreciate her because she has done her homework well. But, instead of saying that she did a good job, the Terrible Teacher shouted at her instead and threw her notebook hitting her face!

Apparently, when the Terrible Teacher was already inspecting Elsa's notebook, the teacher saw a blank page! There was nothing on Elsa's notebook! Elsa was again punished! She was made to clean the room! Elsa did not complain! Elsa did not say a word! She just thought that the reason why she lost her assignment was for her to learn to make an extra copy next time!

Elsa was almost finished cleaning the room when all of a sudden, a paper plane landed on her feet. She noticed something familiar with the paper plane so she picked it up. She inspected the paper plane and noticed a familiar handwriting! She unfolded the paper plane and saw that it was her homework. When she looked around to locate where the paper plane came from, she noticed Ely Rose Apple and her minions giggling mischievously!

The " Leakage incident " happen the very next day after the " Homework incident "! It was examination day! Elsa was accused of being in possession of a leakage! Naturally it was Ely Rose Apple who accused Elsa of having a leakage! The Terrible Teacher did not investigate! The Terrible Teacher did not ask! She just took the Brattish Bully's word for it and quickly grabbed Elsa by the hand and dragged her to the Principal's office!

The Principal was about to punish Elsa when she thought of asking the Terrible Teacher for the "evidence". When the Terrible Teacher was about to hand the Principal the "evidence", she realized that the said "leakage" was just a copy of a song lyrics! The Terrible Teacher, realizing her mistake and not wanting to lose face just said: "Ma'am, this poor moneyless girl has found a way to make the leakage disappear from my hands! But, I am very sure that she was in possession of a leakage during my exam! Punish her! "

The Principal then said: "Definitely! You poor moneyless bald girl is very bad! I will punish you!" That day, Elsa was disallowed to take other exams and was made to walk around the campus while holding a placard saying: " I am a cheater! Do not imitate me! ". Elsa did not complain! Elsa did not feel bad. She just thought that the reason why she was accused of having a leakage was for her to learn not to bring song lyrics during exams!

For being wrongly accused of possessing a leakage during exams, aside from being disallowed to take the exams and being asked to walk around the campus while holding a placard saying: " I am a Cheater! Do not imitate me! ", Elsa was also ordered to be a Canteen Assistant for the whole week! She was made to wash dishes, fetch water, chop woods, clean the dining area, and serve foods to students during lunch!

"Some children are spoiled and it is not their fault, it is their parents." - Roald Dahl

The Sepulchral Storyteller

Adnos Uyañe Plein was born on Marcius Mensis on the atomic number of Chronium in the Pearl of the Orient Seas that has Seven Thousand One Hundred Seven Islands. Adnos use to have a Mother and a Father until some regretful circumstances took both away. Adnos has a collection of feathered little blue notebooks. Adnos always speaks the cruel truth. Adnos looks at grownups and see the child that dwells in each. Adnos listens to the grownups speak and hears the child in them whimper.

The Lousy Letter

Dear Readers,

It is my sad duty to inform you that this story is filled with sad, miserable and unpleasant events in the life of a young girl named Elsa! In this page you will also read about children going to bed hungry, love evaded women, truth clouded with doubts, stormy weather, deadly ant bites, wet socks, old green jackets and crumpled paper.

If you feel that you are not ready to read such kind of story because you believe that the world is too perfect and life is so good to spend and waste time reading about how dejected other people's lives are, then you may leave now. I would understand. But if you derive contentment out of knowing that there are other people out there whose life is more deplorable than yours, then stay. Read along! React!

But again, I warn you! Reading this story may not be a very pleasant experience! Believe me.

On this page I wont be talking about weekend picnics, chicken noodle soup, red roses, hot coffee, teddy bears and happy ending! I have not heard and so I could not share any real life Fairy tale. All that I know and all that I could share is Elsa's sad story. Thus the title of this narrative: The agony of Elsa (an allegoric chronicle of a regrettable affair)!

The Nasty News

The Pinpointed Person

Daniel Handler is an author, screenwriter and accordionist. He is best known for his work under the pen name Lemony Snicket. Handler was born in San Francisco, California. He attended Commodore Sloat Elementary, Herbert Hoover Middle School and Lowell High School. Handler graduated from Wesleyan University in 1992.He is an alumnus of the San Francisco Boys Chorus. Handler is married to Lisa Brown, a graphic artist that he met in college.They have a son, Otto, who was born around Halloween 2003. They live in an old Victorian house in San Francisco. Handler's mother is retired City College of San Francisco Dean, Sandra Handler, and his father, Louis Handler, is an accountant. He also has a younger sister, Rebecca Handler. Handler is politically active and helped form LitPAC. In the June 10, 2007 edition of The New York Times Magazine, Handler reveals ambivalence toward his wealth, and the expectations it creates. He states he is often asked for money for charitable causes and often gives. In an interview conducted by the 667 Dark Avenue fan site, Daniel Handler gave his personal philosophy as "Never refuse a breath mint". Although Handler has a Jewish background and considers C. S. Lewis to be an influence,he describes himself as a secular humanist.In addition, he says "I'm not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one's efforts. I'm not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it's the right thing to do. If I commit fewer bad acts there will be fewer bad acts, maybe other people will join in committing fewer bad acts, and in time there will be fewer and fewer of them".

The Multifarious Miscellaneous

The Pathetic Poll

The Pensive Prayer

Dear Lord and my God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit I believe that You are dwelling in spirit in the deepest center of my soul. I adore you, I love you and I trust in you; for you are the source of my being and my life in all that I think, and say and do. Help me to see you in the hearts of others and to see the reflection of You in everything that You have made. Help me also to understand the things that I cannot change. May your name be praised, blessed and glorified forevermore. Amen.