Question

My mate's gaining more weight than I am. What can I do?

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My boyfriend is using my pregnancy as an excuse to pack on the pounds. I'm four months pregnant, and so far he's gained more weight than I have. When I say something about it, he says, 'Well, the pregnancy book says guys can have maternity symptoms, too.' Sex is becoming really complicated with his growing belly getting in the way of my growing belly. What should I do?

Mom Answers

I agree as well. Just because you are not married does not mean that you don't love a man deeply enough or are not committed to them or vice versa. What kind of world do you live in? And how can you make a comment about some one else life and relationship based solely on knowing that they are not married. You don't know anything else about the curcumstances. Marriage isn't always for everyone, that doesn't mean that two people can't share in the joy of creating a life together.
My boyfriend and I are about to have a child. I am 9 months pregnant and we've never been happier. Not being married has never once been an issue for us or anyone around us. And it shouldn't have to be. We make our own choices. We live with them, no one else has to. And no one should be knocked for the choices they make in life. I've witness many marriages that are shams. Many people get married and have kids and put their families through hell. And many just have kids and live happily forever whether together or apart.
I hope that she has a happy life with her boyfriend and her child, no matter the outcome of the situation.
You shouldn't pass judgment!!

I think it's worse when your boyfriend decides it's time to lose weight when you have no control over the weight your gaining. I would have rather heard I gained 5 lbs than I lost 5 lbsout of his mouth. But there are other positions you can try, which eventually you will have to any way. Even if you're boyfriend is lean and has no belly, eventually you will have a belly that will get in the way of almost any position you try. And you'll have to come up with other ways.
Don't let it get you down. Think of it as a support system and if it really bothers you try cooking healthy and eating healthy together (which can be as much of a challenge on you as it is on him).

One more thing, just because a couple isn't married, does not necessarily mean that they're not together or that the child will not receive the same amount of love from both parents. Some relationships work out better when parents aren't married. Don't knock those who don't run down the aisle just because of pregnancy. To marry just because a baby is expected almost always ends in disaster. Marry someone for love not obligation. That's my two cents.

It's bound to happen. I'm guilty for helping mine gain some weight; I'm five months and started out by losing intstead of gaining. Now, every time I go to eat something, I always ask, hey you hungry? *smacks forehead*

My husband gained weight right along with me, nearly pound for pound for with my 1st pregnancy. I lost all of my baby weight within the first yr but he continued to gain a few more after. Now we are expecting our 2nd and he is gaining again. Not as much but still, he is adding to the pounds he failed to shed from last prego. I did not get stretchmarks with either pregnancy but HE DID! Sex used to be great now his belly rubs against me that makes it completely unenjoyable. He says he wants to work out and eat better but we cant afford a gym. He could walk the neighborhood (with me!!!) or use free weights that we do have or other at home exercises but he does nothing. His diet is terrible even when I make sure there are ample healthy choices in the house. He has even asked me if I was still attracted to him since he has gained the weight. Well I am but being intimate is simply uncomfortable! But when I offer to support and exercise with him, he refuses and gets hostile. What gives?!?!

I am having the same problem with my boyfriend. He started gaining more weight than I have. The problem is, it's not healthy and it's unattractive. As many of you gals stated, the belly gets in the way when we have sex,I've tried other positions and they are great, but there's that belly and that large upper tourso. He is not the tallest man so the weight does not look good on him. He has a second chin and he looks like a line backer. To be honest, I find myself less attracted to the man I love and I don't want to have sex anymore. For one thing it's becoming too complicated and there are so many body image issues. As far as his health is concerned, his breathing is more labored and because of his weight, he has started snoring. He is experiencing heart palpitations, he stated to me on numerous occations that he feels heavy all the time. I am sick of it. I have tried the supportive approach, but when I do he tells me he knows his body and he doesn't have to go on a diet, he then goes to the gym, but continues to eat chips and cookies and ice cream and not one but two servings of food at the dinner table. Now if anyone nows anything about loosing weight, healtlhy and sensible eating must accompnay your excercise. I have also tried the direct approach, a bit mean but nothing has worked, in fact he gets defensive and tells me that I wasn't that fit before we got pregnant. I am pretty frustrated and I just want to grab those chips from his month when he is eating it. For the record, I have only gained the recommended weight and I don't eat junk food. HELP!!!!!

My husband seems to be gaining weight as well. He also has been sick in the AM ( I haven't) and he is appearing to have other sympathy pains. Bless his heart! We are working on exercising together and eating better. I hope it works out!

My boyfriend is the same way. I'm 35 weeks, I've gained about 30 pounds, and so has he. I'm trying to be sympathetic, and maybe my pregnancy really is why he put on some weight. Since i'm nervous about losing my post pregnancy weight also, we decided to start a new diet, and coach each other after the baby is born to get back in shape. Hopefully we can both lose our weight, and we'll both be in better shape.

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