Thanks to a childhood without MTV or a general knowledge of Prince beyond Purple Rain, I first saw the video for "Diamonds and Pearls" just a few days ago. And wow, do I have questions.

First off, full credit to my pal Danit for finding the video and texting it to me on Wednesday, because I probably would have forgotten our conversation about it if she hadn't. Since then, I've watched it at least five more times and I can't get the song out of my head.

Unlike my last post about a music video, I don't have questions about one person in "Diamonds and Pearls," but more of a general question about what the hell is going on here. There seem to be three general themes:

Sexy times in a sexy, barely-furnished mansion

Acrobatic dance party out on some nice steps

Hanging out in a kindergarten(?) class

I get the sense that these were pitched as separate ideas, but then the producer — or maybe Prince himself? — was like, "yeah, sounds good, let's mash all three of those together!" And so, Prince and Rosie Gaines — his passionate, bedazzled-headband-wearing supporting vocalist — sing and groove their way through all three worlds.

Wikipedia, knower of all things, says that the song "is an expression of love and not lust," so I guess that's why they juxtaposed Prince caressing a lady in a bodysuit with him singing to children but... I still feel confused. Why hang out with little kids at all? And why in black in white? Did we go back in time? Is this a Citizen Kane thing?

Despite all my questions, there are still some beautiful moments, like:

When you remember how tiny Prince was (also, hi, weird ladies in the back!):

Also, because I couldn't properly capture them in GIF form, please go back to minute 2:35 and watch Prince casually bounce off a couch and do a split, then go to minute 3:12 and watch him do a full spin before he sits down in the tiny child's chair. WHAT.

I hope this changes your life the way it changed mine. And if you can provide any answers to the artistic concept behind this video, please, please do.