Author Archive

Just back in town from Houston so why not drop an actual UPDATE up in here for the remaining three readers (and the 17,392 Somali scam artists that visit)? As I alluded to in the initial unwordy post, some things have changed for the Chillster of late.

1. I am back to work at a full-time job. After close to six years of non-employment, suddenly I:

Have a senior position at a promising startup company that I believe has a chance to be extremely successful in a pretty unsexy market segment (hopefully the only time “unsexy” and “Chilly” are together in anyone’s stream of consciousness, ever). Very excited about this opportunity and have been using parts of my brain that have been in storage for some time;

Own a business that has thirteen employees;

Am doing some informal advisory work on a middle market deal (thanks to my banker homies for all the SDC this, and MergerMarket that (I know it’s the same shit now but struggling with what else to put in there that wouldn’t me sound even more dipshitty, bear. (“Bear” is my new slang abbreviation for “bear with me” – if you don’t like it, deal.)))

I have hit a couple of nadirs in my life – first, when I was an aimless college dropout – the Navy fixed that (mostly by process of elimination, such as “well, I sure as fuck don’t want to be enlisted in the Navy” and “I cannot contemplate life for even one extra hour as a submarine officer” but still); then when I was putting in a robust four hours a week as a pharma rep (3.5 hours were driving), I got kind of bailed out by the Navy again (admissions offices were very kind to ex-Nukes and Naval Academy guys back then) and got a fancy MBA and fancy job that I hated that ultimately led me to want to take six years off and be something of a minimalist. Hoping this time I can pull it together and not go to the extremes of my previous professional life and maintain some of the perspective gained from seeing folks at various end-0f-life stages.

2. Last week I ran the fastest 3.0 and 4.5 mile times I’ve ever run. Better not older, etc. Not sure exactly what happened but I had something of a breakthrough in running during the summer and gained over one mph in speed despite the fact I didn’t lose a ton of weight or anything. (I did drop a few pounds when I was on essentially on the unpopular “endless sobbing” diet plan. I got some perspective on how absolutely shitty it would be to have chronic depression – cannot imagine feeling like that every day without ever getting better. Understand why there are so many meds out there now.) Don’t race me. (Disclaimer: all of my record times are on the same treadmill at the gym – it’s been so fucking humid here that if I went for speed records I would definitely die of heat stroke in under half a mile. Now that fall has fallen, I’m looking to prove it outdoors.)

3. After running outside, I for the second time got a persistent rash under my eyes. The first time I got five years ago, it it lasted months (even after visiting an unhelpful dermatologist “I’m not sure what that is? It’s pretty weird-looking”) and had me scaring babies and shit. I’m kind of hoping that I actually got bitten by a radioactive raccoon and am about to start exhibiting my newfound trash-eating superpowers.

4. I finally got an iPhone two weeks ago. I keep my phones until forever and absolute failure; my beloved Mytouch 4G died in May so I bought a shitty windows phone as a bridge to the new iPhone. I ordered a 6 Plus and was delighted to find that it was the size of a ping pong paddle (or maybe a surfboard for squirrels). Did you notice that I used the past tense a couple times there? If so – very observant!

So once I got the phone I would make sure and tell everyone “Look at my big-assed phone! It’s huge! I never drop them – also, I never get raccoon rashes – so I’m going to wait to buy a case, do some research, you know, make sure my $30 goes to the right product.” In my defense, I did not drop the phone – due to its immense size, it decided to shoot out of my pocket when I did the customary lap-making maneuver that happens anytime you sit down on something. I was sitting in an SUV, and the street was not a receptive environment for the 68 square inches of screen. First cracked screen I’ve ever had. When it happened all I could do was go “Oh, no!” in the exact same tone and volume that a six year old girl would have used.

I figured the screen would cost $400 to replace and that it would take a month for the new screens to even arrive. Somehow, it was $129 at the Apple store. They didn’t have screens so they just gave me a new one. I ordered a case and some tempered glass for this motherfucker. I don’t know any of the features on the thing, but I do know I’m pretty terrified I’m going to break it again ASAP.

Anyway, I’m hoping for a renaissance with writing on this site, there may be some interesting developments. I’ll let ya’ll know about the eye rash.