Thoughts of LifeAll the screaming and the fightingall the never being good enoughhas left a heavy burden on my stomach.All the I love you’s and the I hate you’sall the “I’m sorries” and forgivinghas corrupted my image of love.All the lies and the lies I thought were truthsall the letdowns and pretending to be fine have caught up to my blistered soul.All the feelings I keep inside and the times I’d look but wouldn’t answer the phoneAll the silence and nights alonehave weighed me down far too long.All the crazy thoughts and all the magical thoughtsall the tossing and turning and nights without sleep thanks to those thoughts.All the blurred faces lacking empathy and the damaging insultsall the ones that have turned their backs have allowed me to know it’s ok, I don’t need them.All the distance and the ones I let get awayand all the walls I have built along the way.All the knowing and not knowingall the contradictions of my existencehave caught up to my fouled up mind.All the laughter and fake smiles and the hatred I spent on others.All the lonliness and no one to turn toall the pain I didn’t want to hide but had tocan be blamed for the lack of healing.All the thoughts of suicide and watching my face go paleall the desperate attempts that have failedhas let me catch a glimpse of death, and I’ll never go back.