I don't think you need our sympathy--it's those who haven't twigged to the beauty of Perl that need it.

There are any number of good technical counter-arguments for each of the critisisms you listed, many of which can be found in 'cross-language debate' meditations around this place. But the best answer (IMO) is:

Okay. If you like doing things the hard way, I ain't gonna try to stop you.

Unless asked, of course. In which case, by all means elaborate, but stick to specific examples and try not to sound like a zealot, because skeptics can smell a zealot a mile away, even an unwitting one.