Is expecting divorcing parties to settle quickly reasonable?

The belief of most in society is that divorce should be simplified. It should a quick, simple, easy and inexpensive thing to do. Versus haggling over the household furniture, the cars and the house, most people think the parties should quickly be reasonable and end their case amicably.

Of course, who would want a nasty divorce? Who would want it drawn out? Who would want to spend a lot of money in attorney’s fees? Who would want to put the case in the hands of the judge? Who would want a divorce to drag on months or years?

The reality is no sane person would want this to happen. Sane people would want to end their case outside of court. Sane people wouldn’t want to put their lives in the hands of a judge who doesn’t know them. Sane people wouldn’t want to spend the money for lawyers. Sane people wouldn’t want to put their family through a drawn out process.

There is one problem that most people fail to consider. If parties were able to compromise to settle their divorce, wouldn’t they not be getting divorced in the first place? Don’t most people who stay married compromise? Isn’t compromise necessary for a marriage to last? Isn’t compromise a required ingredient for a long, sustained marriage?

If this is true, and parties are not able to compromise to keep their marriage together, isn’t unreasonable to believe that most people will be able to settle their divorce quickly? If parties were able to settle their divorce quickly, couldn’t they agree on issues in which they disagree such that they could avoid a divorce? Shouldn’t they be able to go to counseling or otherwise resolve their differences short of a divorce?

The reality is no rational person wants a drawn out divorce. At the same time, settlement is not easy for those who cannot agree to such a level that they decide to get divorced. At the heart of a lot of divorce is the inability of parties to agree. This is what inevitably leads to lots of divorces.