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I’m Done Having Babies and It’s Okay

The question of “when are you going to have kids?” started literally days after getting married.

The husband and I knew we were going to wait a bit, but it appeared the rest of the world (well our family and circle of friends) were not on the same page. I was okay saying “not yet” or “maybe someday” to the curious inquisitors, but it did get a little tiresome.

Fast forward to today… over 9 years of marriage, a 6 year old and a 3 year old later, and the questions are STILL coming.

Now it’s, when is baby number 3 arriving? Really?! I thought we’d be done with this already. I like my family of equal parts kids and adults and I’m okay to admit this. Two kids is great for me (and my sanity); throw in our needy boxer and I’m all set. To anyone staring at my sometimes pregnant looking belly and wondering if it’s the day I’m going to announce Baby #3, well I’m here to tell you that’s just last night’s dinner, and there will not be another tiny dancer birthed by me.

Guess what else?! I’m 100% sure and I’m ACTUALLY happy about it.

So many people lately keep saying how sad they are that the baby stages of their family are over. I keep coming across articles saying how moms should feel saddness with their last child growing up. They are upset and dream of another addition; to smell the newborn smell and create another version of themselves. That’s all fine and dandy for them, but I’m not in the same place.

Why do I feel like the minority here?

Why do I feel like I should be all choked up and sad that we’ve ended our baby phase? The pressure from society to get emotional over this is crazy to me.

It’s okay to know you’re done having babies. It’s okay to be happy with your current family. It’s okay to see a pregnant mom and to be thrilled that’s not you. Seriously, we shouldn’t judge others for feeling this way. We are still good moms, we just have different limits and expectations for our families.

I have no desire to go through child birth again or to function on less than humanly possible hours of sleep. The fact that I don’t need to change another diaper ever (if I don’t want to) brings tears of joy to my eyes. No more spit up?! No problem! There is a chance I might get free time again once both kids are in school full-time… I get all choked up just thinking about it!!

Let’s embrace where we are, and where we want to be as moms.

Let’s allow other mothers around us to be true to themselves as well. If you want more kids, great! If you don’t want more children, let’s embrace this feeling too. I’m tired of feeling the need to pretend to long for more babies… I like my kids walking, talking, and using toilets just fine!!