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As a Norland trained nanny working with children and families for over 20 years I was left in an emotional limbo state of mind after reading the original post & continued threads titled “neglectful nanny/inattentive nanny” on the east dulwich forum.

I can see both sides but it’s not about sides. It’s about one persons view of another’s behaviour! The post was one sided and arguably inconclusive without having had a response from the nanny in question.

I recall when I approached a mother who had taken photos of a child in my care at a playgroup.
My charge had a public meltdown when I left the room to change the nappy of my other charge.
Harry was left in the care of 3 experienced, professional nannies. But Harry didn’t want them, he
wanted me!
The mother accused me of neglecting my charge and leaving him in an inconsolable state.
She denied taking photos of Harry, then later admitted to taking photos but said she deleted the
images.
I said “instead of trying to name and shame me on the East Dulwich Forum, you should’ve
approached me directly with your concerns”.
I would have informed her that Harry was going through separation anxiety which lasted for 5 weeks. Harry’s parents were fully aware as they were also experiencing the same on the
weekends.
The mother at the playgroup was so keen to solve what she thought was a problem, she
overlooked the fact that OFSTED doesn’t allow me to take photos of my charges without written permission from my employers, therefore she shouldn’t either!

What the mum at the playgroup saw and what she knew were TWO different things.
I asked the mum to write down her contact details so I could pass it on to my then employers.
She refused, claiming it wouldn’t get to them but I did inform my employers of the event and told
them to look on the forum for photos of Harry and descriptions of me.
I had nothing to hide!

I endured many comments & looks of disapproval.
One person suggested Harry’s mum stay home until the anxiety passed.
His mother, a surgeon, didn’t fancy that option!

The point is, Harry’s parents and I were all on board with the “ignore, reassure and carry on” approach. All onlookers saw was “ignore”.
As a mother to a cheeky 6 year old boy, I would want to know if he was upset or being mistreated
by our nanny. I’ve heard her raise her voice and ignore his unwanted behaviour but I trust her
implicitly.
Parents, grandparents and childcarers respond in ways that I wouldn’t. Some are too harsh, some too soft! Overall I know that people judge me the way I do them. We can’t always discipline children according to how society wants us to.
I get away with more as a parent than I did as a nanny! Parents don’t get judged as harshly as a
nanny does. Especially when it’s clear that your charge is not your child.
At a time when terrorism, hate crimes and tragedies are at the forefront of our minds, let’s start
supporting each other. Share your #lovethynanny posts and show your appreciation of your nanny!

After all, you never know who’s watching you.

To raise awareness we would like to hear and publish your nanny story, anonymously if preferred.

Please, send us your story via email

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