The hardest choice a daughter can make

By Ross Kay and Rebecca Mclaren

It's the five words you never want to hear. Where you're a mother or father, husband or wife, son or daughter. As a loved one lies in hospital, you sit beside the bed feeling helpless and lost. It's then you're told 'there's nothing we can do'. At that gut-wrenching moment the question of organ donation is put to you, and you're faced with an almost insurmountable decision.

Last year, 78 Queenslanders donated their organs after death. Sonia from Maryborough in the Wide Bay was faced with the heart-breaking decision of whether or not to donate her mother's organs.

In the end the decision was made by the entire family that the donation should go ahead, and looking back now Sonia says she could never have imagined being in that situation.

"I'd never considered organ donation," Sonia said, "I probably wasn't into organ donation because I was afraid of what it meant for the person... you didn't know what was going to happen to them."

The decision came after doctors told Sonia her mother had no brain activity. It was then the question of organ donation was put to her by a team from DonateLife, the organisation responsible for organ and tissue donation.

"A number of people come and they sit down and have a chat to you about the idea of it," Sonia said.

"It's not about them coming and trying to sell you on something at all and they are always reassuring you that if you say 'no', that's fine.

"They kept saying to me 'you have to make the decision that is right for you'."

Transforming lives

The donation of one person can help 10 of more people, depending on the level of donation. In 2012, 354 organ donors changed the lives of 1052 Australians.

For Sonia, the opportunity to help someone was the reason her and her family decided to go ahead.

"It's just not what I thought it would be," Sonia said, "You have these people who are incredibly compassionate, who really understand what you're going through, and who understand how hard these decisions are.

"They explain everything in great detail to you, but you have the say. You can say what they can take, or what they can't take and they totally respect that."

In the end the donation made by Sonia's mother was able to help two people, something Sonia said would have made her mum very happy.

"We as a family had never talked about organ donation and we sat down together and said what would she have wanted us to do?" Sonia said.

"We all ended up agreeing that she would have said 'well you're not going to just chuck them away are you? what a waste'.

"My mum always felt like she never really achieved and I think she would have loved the idea that she had really made a difference to two people's lives.

"She was the sort of person who would have donated a kidney whilst she was alive, I can't see why she wouldn't have wanted to do it in her passing."