Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

Created: 09/08/12

Replies: 9

Posted Sep. 08, 2012
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davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1095

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Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

When Reba finds her daddy’s therapy notes, she wishes she had never read them. She wants to remember him differently. Can you sympathize with her?

Posted Sep. 10, 2012
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Suzanne

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 203

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RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

Reba's finding all her father's health records (1985) and particularly the handwritten reports, just didn't set with me. There are a few questions I have regarding this. Copies can be had by patients, (1998) but the author's explanation seemed to be that these were the originals. Why do you suppose he'd ever keep them in his office? Then, of course, it sure makes the story interesting. Naturally this information would be devastating to her. Did she ever tell her sister what she'd found?

Posted Sep. 10, 2012
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joyces

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 368

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RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

I think it is absolutely normal for a child to try to see their father in the best light. I think that her exposure to the reality in the notes was good for her as she came to terms with who she was and what she really wanted out of life. I think she and her sister probably did discuss the papers ultimately and it also made it possible for her to maybe see her mother in another light as well.

Posted Sep. 10, 2012
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dorothyt

Join Date: 04/10/11

Posts: 102

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RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

The notes reveal a horrible event in the father's life as well as the consequences on his mental and emotional health. Anyone would wish away that knowledge, especially a daughter who already struggles with depression and relationship issues, fearing that she has inherited these tendencies, the "black wolf" her father talked about.

Posted Sep. 13, 2012
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Ann S

Join Date: 11/13/11

Posts: 9

RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

It is strange that the patient would have these notes.

Naturally Reba would rather have better memories of her father. Wouldn't anyone rather not find something that would change how you see a parent? Ultimately, she and her sister have the change to deal with the truth and Reba would be open about her feelings and fears.

Posted Sep. 14, 2012
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Peggy H

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 137

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RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

I'm not sure that empathize is the right word. Her decision not to discuss things with Deedee was certainly bad for her as she felt she did not know what was going on and why. I again think of her age when her father committed suicide.

Pegh

Pegh

Posted Sep. 18, 2012
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Fargo

Join Date: 09/18/12

Posts: 2

RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

I empathize with Reba more than sympathize, sympathy is a surface emotion, empathy is a deeper understanding of her perspective. Reba is young when her father commits suicide. I think its understandable, especially for a child, to block certain memories, especially of a parent. It's a protection mechanism, if you don't remember unhappiness or sadness then your childhood must have been happy....

Ultimately, uncovering the records and truth about her father helps her to come to terms with her own mental health and perhaps enables her to see her mother through a different lens as well.

I would not find it at all strange for a patient to have copies of their medical records -- I find it somewhat curious that the author refers to the patient having original notes.

Posted Sep. 18, 2012
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Beth350

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 67

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RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

I agree about empathizing with Reba. Anyone in a dysfunctional family situation is going to try to imagine it differently. Since his suicide occurred when she was young, she needed to make him into someone whose memory wouldn't cause more pain.

Beth350

Posted Sep. 20, 2012
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amberb

Join Date: 07/28/11

Posts: 72

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RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

Yeah, absolutely! The trauma of her father's death was something that would take anyone decades to work through - and I thought it was an authentic part of the story!

Posted Sep. 21, 2012
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barbarab

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 39

RE: Can you sympathize with Reba's desire to remember her father differently?

Yes, I can sympathize with Reba, because she did love her father & it traumatized her to learn of his illness & problems because she saw a lot of herself in her father. Today, things would have been done differently. in some ways he was alot like Josef & Rikki, though Rikki was able to escape. maybe it is different in war.