Everything You Wanted To Know About Polyamourous Men But Were Afraid To Ask

Polyamourous men are those who are gifted with the ability to love more than one person. Though not many people call themselves polyamorous, I know of many who follow polyamory. It sounds strange to legitimise something like multiple-lovers in a world that believes that monogamy is the only form of pure love. We all have our battles to win in love, some because it is inter-caste, some because it is inter-religion, some because it is between the same gender, some because it is with more than one lover – at the core, the struggle is the same. A polyamorous person has to win that with his orientation to love.

Polyamorous Relationships And Open Relationships Are Not Exactly The Same

Just because someone is capable of loving two or more people at the same time, doesn't always mean that they love two or more people at the same time. Secondly, even if they love more than one person at the same time, as a polyamorous person, you will probably be telling everyone that you are engaging in love with another. There is no lie, no breaking of trust. In fact, it is the inverse; a polyamorous relationship is based on a strong foundation of trust and truth.

Open relations are very different. They are not just about love, they are more about sex. These relations are usually not permanent but a fleeting feeling of love or lust or both. The Oxford dictionary defines open relationship as “A marriage or relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others.”

Polyamorous People Are Different From Polygamous And Polyandrous Folks

Polyamorous is about loving more. And, loving more than one. Sometimes at the same time. Sometimes single-wise and sometimes all at once. It definitely is not done in a deceiving way though, but with the consent of all parties involved. Polyamory may or may not have the promise of marriage or anything legal and standing in that realm, whereas polygamy and polyandry are about a husband having more than one wife and vice versa.

Polyamorous Persons Are Not Always Available To Have Sex

Just because people are capable of loving more than one, doesn't mean that they will love one and all. It does not mean that they have their preferences or that they have high libido all the time and are continuously looking for opportunities to get into peoples' pants. More love doesn't equals more libido which also means more love does not equal more sex.

Polyamorous Men Could Be Of All Sexualities And Also Transgender.

Polyamorous men could belong to all genders and sexes, male, trans male and every other definable and undefined gender. If you love more than one at one time and believe in keeping all of them informed, chances are that you are polyamorous. You could also belong to different sexualities – you could be a man loving more than one man, or a man who loves more than one woman. You could also be a transperson who loves men or women or transpeople or all. For instance, I am a homosexual man and polyamorous, which means, despite being in a relationship with a man, without hiding from my male partner; I could also express love to other men. However, this doesn't mean that I would consider getting into relationships with other men.

Polyamorous Men Are Not Divine Beings That Are Devoid Of Jealousy

We all have a fair amount of jealousy when we look at our loved ones exchanging love notes with another. The other day, I found my partner hugging another person. I did feel a fair amount of jealousy. But it is just that we are able to look beyond that jealousy by simply acknowledging the love and affection that the partner has for another. In his piece in Psychology Today, Berit Brogaard, an expert in cognitive neuroscience, says, “You would think jealousy would be a major issue in open and polyamorous relationships and marriages. But for some people jealousy doesn't arise as long as the partner is not lying, deceiving you or keeping his affairs a secret the way he would if he were committing an act of infidelity”

Polyamorous Men Are Capable Of Relationships That Are Committed And Long Standing.

I hope people understand that love that's universal should be celebrated and not despised. I hope that there will be a day when people would love the fact that someone is loving someone at all and not force everyone in the mould of one-is-to-one love because that's the only normal they know. I hope that one day people understand that polyamorous people are capable of commitments too. Just because they love more than one, doesn't mean they really get into a defined “relationship” with everyone. And please, let's tell the world that they should not shrug their shoulders on polyamorist implying that monogamy is superior. If we visit the closets of the minds of monogamists too, you will find secret corners of forbidden love affairs that were hidden forever. They are also more committed to their primary relationship.

Yes, Raj can love Simran and Seema. And Simran can love Raj and Rahul and Aakash. Or all of them can love each other yet Raj could be committed to Simran.