That is EXACTLY how our mother justified her taking things from brother & I, "you weren't using it and now she is..." We grew up in a house understanding that nothing ever actually belonged to us - sis could take whatever she wanted from us at anytime, destroy it and there would be no consequences for her.

Your mother did your sister no favors; I doubt she will ever find happiness because she will constantly trample on other people's toes and wondering why the whole world is against her.

Sis and I have not spoken in almost 4 years, now you see why.

She and bro did have a meal together in the last year, prior to that it had been two years since they spoke, they did not resolve anything and she did not apologize for anything she has ever done. She kept blaming others, claiming she deserved xyz and took no responsibility for her actions.

She is down to two or three friends that I run into occasionally and we do NOT speak of her - they know I do not want to know what is going on with her anymore. These are the only people left that she has not mistreated (yet).

My bro blames our mother for this entitlement - but truly I believe it's time (at the age of 50) that she matures and takes responsibility for her actions. We don't anticipate that ever happening.

And I'd be willing to bet that Redneck Gravy's sister would have had a royal tantrum if anyone had taken something of hers because "she wasn't using it".

These entitled SS's always think the gravy train should only run toward them, never the other direction.

I've been trying to not reply, but I know how she feels. I have a younger sister who still has the entitlement attitude. She even did that with her kids - they lived with either me or my mom their entire lives but when the boys wanted to get official paperwork with me as guardian and live with us until they graduated high school, she had a poopadities fit of epic proportions. There were accusations of us "stealing" her kids, blah, blah. This is a woman in her early thirties who gets evicted from section 8 housing because she refuses to pay the $40 rent because she "deserves" somewhere to live.

As many have pointed out, parents are not doing their kids any favors by letting this dynamic develop. They're not doing themselves any favors, either. For example, DH was always, always in line behind his brother. BIL's selfishness and grabbiness was either 'cute' or 'well, he's the oldest'.

BIL is now 34 and back living with his parents. He does have a good job in his field, but his field doesn't pay that much. He took a year off to go to trade school with DH, but again, opportunities for working in that trade are not overly common, and opening your own shop takes a lot of capital. DH was lucky to get a job; doesn't pay that much, but enough, and the company is located in a beautiful area where we've dreamed of living.

BIL and FIL have had numerous squabbles and apparently nearly came to blows last week, so BIL is now flouncing and talking about moving out of state, changing careers, blah blah. Guess who's *not* volunteering to see about a job for him, or offering him a place to stay while he gets sorted out? He's burned his bridges with his closest family and anyone else who spends more than 15 minutes with him, so he's got no support for this big move he wants to make.

Encountered a SS in the supermarket today. The store is on my way home from work, so I popped in to get a few things - and I really mean a few. I tend to use the self-checkout machines if I'm not buying much, so I did.So, I scanned my items, paid my money, waited a second for my change so I could put it in my purse. Fine... but I'd barely picked up my change, when some woman with a full basket (I didn't stop to look properly, I was so shocked) put her basket on the side of my scanner and stood right next to me while I was picking up the last few coins. I hadn't even picked up/bagged my THREE items yet. (2 tubs of goodies from the bakery section and a chocolate bar.)Then she stood there, chatting away to her child (I think. She may have been on the phone), waiting - impatiently, I felt - for me to finish and go.I shoved my purchases into my bag as quickly as I could and moved away, but I was not happy. I mean, how completely rude/SS/self-absorbed do you have to be to do that?! Once outside, I got really annoyed that I didn't use my spine and say anything, or even shoot her a filthy look, but at the time I was just so shocked that she'd actually done it, that I was speechless (and uncomfortable that she was standing so unnecessarily close to me). I mean, I wasn't being slow - my change had literally just dropped down into the tray. The machine had not by a long shot got to the point of saying "Thank you for shopping at..." which is the usual cue that the self-checkout is now free. I know her basket was full, but could she not have held it for, ooh, 90 seconds longer?

Woman in front of me at the grocery store last night. She's being checked out, and this one sell alcohol. But...if the cashier is underage, which this one was, they need to call a manager or someone who CAN ring up their bottle of wine, or whatever.

SS first is huffing and puffing after cashier politely explains she cannot ring it up as she is underage. Cashier tried to get a couple people over, and finally did. Mind you, this took MAYBE 3 minutes tops. SS finishes huffing and asks how she can avoid this in the future, so she doesn't have to wait. Cashier said red nametags are underage. THen SS said well, they really should have dedicated lines for alcohol purchases, but honeslty, I've shopped in other locations, and it takes very littel time to get someone to come ring it out.

Then she asked for cash back, in specific denominations, and then told the cashiwer she didnt' get all her $$ back. Cashier politely said yes, SS said no, cashier begins to call for a manager. SS then says "oh, here it is, i found it, i put it somewhere in my purse" No apology or anything else. Just very rude and entitled.

Encountered a SS in the supermarket today. The store is on my way home from work, so I popped in to get a few things - and I really mean a few. I tend to use the self-checkout machines if I'm not buying much, so I did.So, I scanned my items, paid my money, waited a second for my change so I could put it in my purse. Fine... but I'd barely picked up my change, when some woman with a full basket (I didn't stop to look properly, I was so shocked) put her basket on the side of my scanner and stood right next to me while I was picking up the last few coins. I hadn't even picked up/bagged my THREE items yet. (2 tubs of goodies from the bakery section and a chocolate bar.)Then she stood there, chatting away to her child (I think. She may have been on the phone), waiting - impatiently, I felt - for me to finish and go.I shoved my purchases into my bag as quickly as I could and moved away, but I was not happy. I mean, how completely rude/SS/self-absorbed do you have to be to do that?! Once outside, I got really annoyed that I didn't use my spine and say anything, or even shoot her a filthy look, but at the time I was just so shocked that she'd actually done it, that I was speechless (and uncomfortable that she was standing so unnecessarily close to me). I mean, I wasn't being slow - my change had literally just dropped down into the tray. The machine had not by a long shot got to the point of saying "Thank you for shopping at..." which is the usual cue that the self-checkout is now free. I know her basket was full, but could she not have held it for, ooh, 90 seconds longer?

Grrr.

So many times I am just so shocked by a situation that I don't react how I know I should. I then spend the next several minutes fuming and replaying the incident in my head wishing I had done a better job. I feel for you!

Then she asked for cash back, in specific denominations, and then told the cashiwer she didnt' get all her $$ back. Cashier politely said yes, SS said no, cashier begins to call for a manager. SS then says "oh, here it is, i found it, i put it somewhere in my purse" No apology or anything else. Just very rude and entitled.

I think that the SS was trying to scam the cashier, and knew that her monkey business wouldn't stand up to manager scrutiny.

Last month I was directly behind a woman in Wegman's who was apparently trying to shoplift 3 small items of produce. She looked like a regular shopper, and she wasn't dressed poorly. The woman chatted nicely with the young checker as she was being checked out. When most everything was rung up the young checker looked in her shopping cart and said, "What's that?" The woman hemmed and hawed, and said that she didn't know. I could see 3 smallish fruits in there about the size of kumquats, but they weren't kumquats. The woman had not put the little things into a produce bag, like is normally done for purchases - they were just loose in the cart like can happen with stray leaves of cabbage. Finally the checker said, "How much do they cost?" The woman scowled and sighed and said, "Three for $2," and the checker added them to the bill.

I could be wrong, but I think that the woman wanted the things for a special recipe and just didn't want to pay $2 for them. She was deceptive when she claimed that she didn't know how the little fruits got into her cart, but knew exactly how much the obscure items cost.

"SS first is huffing and puffing after cashier politely explains she cannot ring it up as she is underage. Cashier tried to get a couple people over, and finally did. Mind you, this took MAYBE 3 minutes tops. SS finishes huffing and asks how she can avoid this in the future, so she doesn't have to wait. Cashier said red nametags are underage. THen SS said well, they really should have dedicated lines for alcohol purchases, but honeslty, I've shopped in other locations, and it takes very littel time to get someone to come ring it out."

I can get behind rude and impatient, but I don't see SS behaviour in this. If the store has situations where a normal purchase requires someone other than the cashier to complete, then it shouldn't take three minutes to get it done. She then asked how to avoid the problem in the future, and made a reasonable suggestion for how the problem could be dealt with. The huffing and puffing may be rude, but being irritated at a delay isn't SS.

I can get behind rude and impatient, but I don't see SS behaviour in this. If the store has situations where a normal purchase requires someone other than the cashier to complete, then it shouldn't take three minutes to get it done. She then asked how to avoid the problem in the future, and made a reasonable suggestion for how the problem could be dealt with. The huffing and puffing may be rude, but being irritated at a delay isn't SS.

Virg

I don't think she had to wait overly long for her purchase. I definitely don't think a cashier lane devoted solely to alcohol at a grocery store is a reasonable suggestion, especially since they already have an easy way to tell if you're going to have to wait longer with your alcohol. Add in the attempt to scam the cashier, and I think you're being overly charitable.

I'd been teaching his son in reading about silent e, and how it makes vowels say their name rather than their short sound (e.g. hop vs hope, sit vs site, etc.) which is useful, since there are literally hundreds of such words in English, including a lot of very common ones. I had a big list and the son would read each word and I'd tick it off. Easy-peasy, right? Well, apparently not. The father came to see me after class yesterday and demanded an apology (!) for teaching his son a dirty word. I was gobsmacked--I don't swear even at home, out of habit from working with kids so much. The word was apparently on the silent e list. I had gone through it carefully and removed rude or unpleasant words, so this surprised me. Then he showed me the word. This adult man refused to say it. He just pointed at it as though that should explain everything.

The dirty word? "nude"

In his household, apparently, nudity is not discussed and does not happen. I'm not sure how this works, but he was adamant that that's how they do it. I tried as diplomatically as I could to point out that the son is likely to see the word in books, at school, and on television, so if anything, it's better for him to recogninse it so he knows what to avoid. I didn't want to go down the terrible path of criticising his parenting decisions, especially when they're hilariously stupid, and I'm all about teaching kids about dangers and bad stuff so they can avoid it rather than just pretending it doesn't exist so they don't know how to cope when something does go wrong, but this guy wasn't having any of it. In the end, all I could do was assure him that I wouldn't have his son read the word again (he wasn't going to anyway, since it was already ticked off, and it's uncommon enough to not be on any other worksheets).

I didn't apologise since I so obviously did nothing wrong, but moved the discussion so that this guy didn't notice.

I can't help but wonder how they bathe. But there's a star next to the kid's name, now. If there's another situation like this (e.g. if the parent gets upset because we use the word "toilet" in class when asking to use the toilet), then the son will be let go. Unfortunate, yes, and not fair on the boy. But parents like these pretty much always get worse, and in the end become a huge disability for their children by demanding ridiculous and often impossible things of their teacher. It's not fair on all the other children to not learn anything just because one boy's father doesn't want him to learn.

Ugh. I tell you, 90% of the stress from work is because of idiots like these. Thankfully, most parents are lovely. But the few who aren't are very special indeed.

I'd been teaching his son in reading about silent e, and how it makes vowels say their name rather than their short sound (e.g. hop vs hope, sit vs site, etc.) which is useful, since there are literally hundreds of such words in English, including a lot of very common ones. I had a big list and the son would read each word and I'd tick it off. Easy-peasy, right? Well, apparently not. The father came to see me after class yesterday and demanded an apology (!) for teaching his son a dirty word. I was gobsmacked--I don't swear even at home, out of habit from working with kids so much. The word was apparently on the silent e list. I had gone through it carefully and removed rude or unpleasant words, so this surprised me. Then he showed me the word. This adult man refused to say it. He just pointed at it as though that should explain everything.

The dirty word? "nude"

In his household, apparently, nudity is not discussed and does not happen. I'm not sure how this works, but he was adamant that that's how they do it. I tried as diplomatically as I could to point out that the son is likely to see the word in books, at school, and on television, so if anything, it's better for him to recogninse it so he knows what to avoid. I didn't want to go down the terrible path of criticising his parenting decisions, especially when they're hilariously stupid, and I'm all about teaching kids about dangers and bad stuff so they can avoid it rather than just pretending it doesn't exist so they don't know how to cope when something does go wrong, but this guy wasn't having any of it. In the end, all I could do was assure him that I wouldn't have his son read the word again (he wasn't going to anyway, since it was already ticked off, and it's uncommon enough to not be on any other worksheets).

I didn't apologise since I so obviously did nothing wrong, but moved the discussion so that this guy didn't notice.

I can't help but wonder how they bathe. But there's a star next to the kid's name, now. If there's another situation like this (e.g. if the parent gets upset because we use the word "toilet" in class when asking to use the toilet), then the son will be let go. Unfortunate, yes, and not fair on the boy. But parents like these pretty much always get worse, and in the end become a huge disability for their children by demanding ridiculous and often impossible things of their teacher. It's not fair on all the other children to not learn anything just because one boy's father doesn't want him to learn.

Ugh. I tell you, 90% of the stress from work is because of idiots like these. Thankfully, most parents are lovely. But the few who aren't are very special indeed.

If you take the post at face value, she had to wait three minutes while the cashier tried and failed to corral a coworker to handle it. That's a long time for a transaction that should take less than a minute to begin with.

"I definitely don't think a cashier lane devoted solely to alcohol at a grocery store is a reasonable suggestion, especially since they already have an easy way to tell if you're going to have to wait longer with your alcohol."

My take on that request is not a lane that rings up alcohol exclusively, but telling customers that they should always go to lane 5 if they're buying alcohol. Many stores already do this with tobacco products, and that way they could always put a cashier in that lane who can sell alcohol.

"Add in the attempt to scam the cashier, and I think you're being overly charitable."

Rude isn't always SS. Impatient isn't always SS. Scamming isn't always SS. That's my point. This story fits several threads on this board, but I don't think it's a good fit for this one because the core of it revolves around the store dropping the ball so her complaint was legitimate.

I didn't want to go down the terrible path of criticising his parenting decisions, especially when they're hilariously stupid,

I do.

I really wish, on behalf of my fellow educators and teachers, that we could have a "my class, my rules" dynamic again. If you don't want your children to read ___ or hear ___ or think about ___? Homeschool them. The idea that the rest of the world has to conform to your nutty beliefs is the epitome of SSness.