Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Friday, January 05, 2007

Ramchal and Mayor LaGuardia: Related?

So it was a dark and dreary night in gotham, and I was at my computer lazying away by aimlessly wandering Wikipaedia. As I was wandering down the list of Jewish-American politicians I surprisingly found late New York City Mayor Fiorrello De LaGuardia listed. Of course our famed Italian-American Mayor was known for his good relationship with the Jewish community, coming out strongly against Adolf Hitler, but I was suprised he was listed as Jewish. Turns out his mother was an Italian Jew from Istria, and her name, Irene Coen-Luzzatto. Of his mothers religion, mayor LaGuardia said,"My mother undoubtedly had Jewish blood in her veins, but I never thought I had enough to justify boasting of it". LaGuardia considered himself to Episcopelian, from his father's side of the family.

Another famous Luzzatto that I am familiar with is the famous Italian-Jew Rabbis Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (RAMCHAL), known for his works on Jewish religious thought and Kabballa; Mesilat Yesharim and Derech Hashem notably. In fact it turns out that the Luzzatto lineage happens to have many notable Jewish figures, including Italy's second Jewish prime minister Luigi Luzzatti.

Of course the question still begs itself, is mayor LaGuardia a member of the famed Luzzatto lineage and a relative of the famed RAMCHAL and other Luzzatto's? At this point I have yet to see any internet proof that there is any connection other than a shared last name, but yet the this find does open seem to be quite interesting.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Boycott this!

Mr. Jews response to an Anti-Semite:

Its a free world, you dont have to like jews, but for those like you who dont like them, I might suggest that you boycott certain Jewish products like the Wasserman Test for syphilis, Digitalis discovered by Dr. Muslin, Insulin discovered by Dr. Minofsky, Chloralhydrate for convulsions discovered by Dr. Lisfreich, the Schick test for diphtheria, discovered by Dr. Zelman Waxman, the Polio pill by Dr. Albert Sabin, and the Polio Vaccine by Dr. Jonas Salk. Good Boycott!

Humanitarian consistency requires that all bigots like you accept syphilis, heart disease, diabetes, convulsions, diphtheria, infantile paralysis, and tuberculosis as a matter of principle.

You want to be mad, be mad; but I'm telling you now, you aint gonna feel good!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

yeah so its gonna freaking snow in israel before it snows in New York City? what the hecks up with that? When I'm in Israel i miss the biggest snow storm in new york city history, literally. and then when im back home in the good ole big apple im missing (going to miss) jerusalem style snow. lama?

Sunday, December 24, 2006

merry christmas l'kulam

so yeah happy 2007th (2006th?) b-day baby jesus. I'm really feeling the yiddishe christmas blues now, whats a jew to do on Jesus's birthday with all the gentiles out feasting and stuff? I could totally use a bearded fat guy taking a dive down my chimmeny now, and lucky for him since its so freaking warm there wont be a fire burning there. Which begs the question, how in hell did santa do it in yester-year when the main source of heat in homes were fire places? did he have a special northpole fire retardant santa suit? something quite fishy about this saint nic chimmney sliding myth.

if you ask me some kids parents made it this whole present shindig to get him to shut up, and welll he told his friends and before long you have all these kids telling each other that santa brings presents down the chimmney for all the good boys and girls on chrismas. I guess those kids grew up to become good goyeshe maideles and menschen and passed on the story, thus the santa mesora was born!

Of course this all begs the question, how does santa know which houses are christian and which aren't. Well its in the mezzuza stupid! See its possible that a christian fellow arrives home way too late on erev christmas to get that tree, let alone decorate it. In this situation it would be totally unfair to mr. Gentile's kids if santa didnt stop by because of some missing tree, well to everything thing theres a solution. See santa's got special mezuzza-adar, which alarms him which houses not to take a dive by. The special homing becon un rudulfs nose alerts him to the Jewish houses and thus he doesnt make a mistake by hitting those homes.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Zman Cheruteinu (post-finals)

Yeah i feel liberated, no more finals to screw up. And oh yeah for the rest of you in Bio 100, even if none of you will read this, that was plain out sadistic. Did the professor break up with her man or get turned down by a good looking student with moral fiber? God did i really just say that? See what being in biology has done to this ben torah :P

Anyways im free now to do a lot, which of course amounts to next to nothing...ok that just a jew complaining. In truth im sure my tzedek mission in new orleans will amount to something, and if nothing perhaps ill knock a few points off my olam haba debt, ok or add some more karma points towards nirvana, call it what you wish.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Finals (!@#$%)

In case your still stoned from that wild pre-finals party um, uh its finals season, yay.The worst part is that I've just realized that i have a problem. i cant study! Ill sit down to go through my bio book or some other useless waste of dead trees and then realize I just cant absorb any of the information, stare at the page, and eventually get up and talk to myself on this blog. how freaking sad. the worst part of it is that I've gotta do this routine non-stop until thursday.

And yeah even worse, hannuka harry hasnt shown up with anything yet. Tonights the fourth night (i think) and some crazy bearded guy has yet to slide down my chimmney, although on second thought maybe thats not such a good idea.

Anyways good luck with finals (yeah as if this computer screen has finals) and merry chrismuka

Friday, December 15, 2006

channuka song

so yeah im bored and its erev shabbat and erev channuka, so heres the channuka song for all you kikes, kikesses and wanna-bes out there.

Put on your yarmulkeHere comes chanukahSo much funukahTo celebrate chanukahChanukah is the festival of lightsInstead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town without a christmas bushHeres a list of people who are jewish just like you and meDavid lee roth lights the menorahSo do james caan, kirk douglas, and the late dinah shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the carnegie deliBowser from sha na na and arthur fonzerelliPaul newmans half jewish, goldie hawns half tooPut them together, what a fine lookin jew

You dont need deck the halls or jingle bell rockcause you can spin a dreidel with captain kirk and mr. spock- both jewish

Put on your shtreimel-kaIts time for chanukahThe owner of the seattle supersonicahsCelebrates chanukah

O.j. simpson, not a jewBut guess who is? hall of famer rod carew- he convertedWe got ann landers and her sister dear abbyHarrison fords a quarter jewish- not too shabby

Some people think that noam chomsky isWell hes not, but guess who isAll three stoogesSo many jews are in showbizTom cruise isnt, but I heard his agent is

Thursday, December 14, 2006

CPR

As a rather underblogged semester here at punks of zion headquarters comes to an end, a new beginning dawns for this once glorious blog. I intend to bring this baby back to its glory days of the famed brownsville girl post-a-day, to DBs humor and of course the lovely endless arguments we enjoyed. You will hear tons of absolutely useless crap until you (whomever i force to check this shindig) decide for the sake of my sanity to begin writing ure own posts and thus revive this mother (think biblical dry bones story if u know what i mean).

Friday, December 01, 2006

Gotta Love Those Friday Morning Phone Calls

So we have Saturday morning cartoons and now we have Friday morning phone calls... let's work backwards through the week. The conversation went like this... (and because this blog wont let me go to the next line, its going to be written badly) ME: hello? GUY: hi who is this? ME: Alison. Who is this? GUY: Alison Shabot? ME: Yes. GUY: oh ok. sorry wrong number. (hangs up)...............wtf?!? Anyone for Thursday?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Kaporos

Crown Heights is dark and bustling with motzei Shabbos/erev Yom Kippur activity. I am sitting in the back seat of a Chevy Astro. In the front seat is Rabbi Dov Yonah Korn and my friend Benyumin. On the floor between us are four cages containing 21 live chickens. We are headed for Greenwich Village.

I have done many crazy things in my lifetime, things that I am amazed actually happened when I look back at them. I beat some natives of Naples, Italy in their own card game on the island of Capri using hand gestures to comunicate. I ate some traiftastic ant eggs I found under a rock once. I nearly burned down a chuch by spilling a large amount of lit incence on the carpet. A priest almost died after I accidentally gave him bleach instead of water to drink. I have had many strange experiences, but none of them have been as meaningful as this one was. The concept itself sounds crazy. On the day be for Yom Kippur, the day of Atonement, you traditionally buy a live chicken and say a prayer while you swing it over your head (most Jews don't do it this way anymore). Basically the chicken becomes your proxy and dies instead of you. It is your replacement and through its death you are somehow allowed to live on. I know, I know it sounds like another religion we've all heard of, but bear with me. The proceeds from the chicken sale go to charity and the chickens themselves are given to poor families. Nothing goes to waste and, in fact, a great number of people are helped. Is it helpful, relevant or worth doing from the atonement perspective though? Furthermore, since most people perform Kaporos with money, why the heck should you do it with an actual chicken!

I was suspicious the first time I heard about it. Why is this relevant to my atonement? It sounded like something that happened on a desert island or in a hut in South America, not a tradition of the Isrealite people! My curiosity, as always, got the better of me and I agreed to try it, and to help the Chabad rabbi bring the chickens to other student. That is how I ended up in a van with 21 squalking, defacating, vomiting atonements. After parking illegally, violating several people's leases by bringing livestock into buildings and dodging pecks we were back in Crown Heights to have the chickens shechted (slaughtered in a kosher way) and to do our own kaporos.

I picked my chichen and took him over to a bench so we could have a chat. Morty (that's what I named him) was rather unhappy to be doing this, but I explained that he was doing a very good thing and that it was quite an honor. I launched into a whole diatribe about how animals used to leap to be used as sacrifices at the Bais Hamigdash but I don't think Morty was interested. So I thanked him from the bottom of my heart and started the prayer. It really was meaningful for me. This fiesty, annoyed, uncooperative chicken was just like me. Neither of us were always so pleased to be doing what we needed to be doing, but in the end I wake up early to say Shema before shkia and he met with a shochets knife. He died so that a poor family could eat and so that I could learn a lesson about who I was and what I was meant to be doing. Morty made me promise to live up to my responsibility. It was like the end of Saving Private Ryan where Tom Hank's character says to Ryan "...earn...this." It was an incredibly powerful experience and I am so glad I did it. I really feel the responsibility, and the chicken crap is still on my shoes.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Well heres and interesting article I saw on Haaretz. The argument goes that if Israel would release the terrorist murder Samir Kuntar back to Lebanon, Hezbullah would return the Israeli soldiers captured. This means allowing the man who murdered an Israeli family in cold blood to go out as a free man, what do you do?

Monday, September 04, 2006

lashon hara

working on the border of flatbush and boro park, has been quite culture shock for me. and as randy, shirly, alison, nukes, scott, and moishele saw today, i've had to change a bit of how i act and dress. alison and randy even took pictures* of me in my jewwear (including stockings!). nukes even commented that i had the proper number of pleats in my skirt.

i think working in this very religious community has in some ways, rubbed off on me. don't worry, i'm not getting brain-washed, but i have been definatly more aware about certain things. for instance, lashon hara. now, i'm the type of person who has no problem saying what i think. i think if you have something to say, good or bad, you should definatly say it to someone's face, correct? but definatly not go heind someone's back. which is why i was annoyed to find out that a girl in hillel, who i am not friends with in the slightest, haven't seen or talked to in months, was going around spreading rumors about me. not that they were good rumors. she was going around saying i "dropped out of school," and then laughing about it. i don't understand what was so amusing, especially since it ws a completely fabricated story.

i thought about telling her that unlike her, who has her rich parents to support her, i've been on my own since i was 16, and i pay for everything myself, including, school, my cell phone bill, health insurance, food, rent, etc. since i got screwed over in terms of financal aid (and no it did not make me feel any better to learn i was one of many who have had that happen to them), i just could not afford to go this semester. don't get me wrong, i do not resent the fact that i have to pay for things on my own at all. it has taught me how to be independent, and i do not hold anything against the people who's parents DO pay for things for them. glad they have it. but i do have something against JAPs who make up rumors, and then laugh at people who actually have to work for things.

but i decided telling her this was worthless. partly because there is no way for her to comprehend it. but mostly because i don't want her pity at all.

in the torah, there is a story of miriam speaking lashon hara, and getting "afflicted" with a skin disease, which our sages have determined was probably leprosy. fortunatly for this JAP, leprosy is non exsistant in the US. however, in the religious community, lashon hara is thought to be a sign of a poor upbringing, something as little as lashon hara can majorly hurt your chances of getting a good shidduch, or even any shidduch. while i don't think the JAP is going to be shidduch dating, ever, and while i don't agree with what most of this religious world has to say about things, in this case, they are pretty right now the money. unfortunatly for this girl, she has no manners, and is a case of poor upbringing, and i feel sorry for her, and everyone else who comes in contact with her.

as for me, i'm working very hard to not be the kind of person she is, and not speak lashon hara.

on a side note, the fact that i haven't seen or spoken to her in months and she finds the need to talk about me... i guess i should be flattered that she dedicates so much of her waking life thinking about me. especially since, with the excption of this, i haven't given her a second thought.

*for the pictures pleae ask randy or alison to post them.

**my argentinian blood has cooled some (but not that much), but the pavement beating shall be held off on until furth notice... or until randy gets t-shirts made.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Baruchim Habaim

This one semi-lazy punk would like to welcome Rebbecca as our new Hillel Chancellor and quasi -dictator er i uh mean director. We (myself and I hope some of the rest of you) would like to wish her with the help of Hashem and co. much bracha, hatzlocho and maisim tovim in her new draconian task of keeping us punks and wannabees in-line, well fed and entertained.

Friday, July 28, 2006

I Need to Clean Out My Room NOW!!!!!!

HELP!!! I need to clean out my room! Correction, I need to redo my entire room! I had to get rid of a dresser, a four drawer cabinet, one book shelf, and a small size cabinet. They fell apart, literally. They belonged to my oldest sister. As far as I am concerned, she has had them for at least 15 years, maybe longer. So, in a way, its not surprising that thay fell apart. (For the longest time I wanted to change them, but she woudn't let me. Don't ask me why. )

For the past few months I have been cleaning out my room and closet. Not only do I need to clean out my space, I need to take inventory of all my pink stuff. Yes, all of it. ( I'm considering doing a seperate inventory list for all the Hello Kitty items) I have no clue when I'm going to be finished. I'm trying to get my room back to order by Labor Day. So far I've been doing okay.

As someone who likes to look on the bright side of things, I'm taking this as an opportunity to redecorate my entire room. Problem, I have less than two weeks to do this. I figure if the good people of Taking Over: Home Edition can make an entire house in a week, I can accomplish my task in 2-3 weeks.

Guys, its horrible. My room looks like it got blown by a hurricane. I have a huge pile of clothes on my bed. Half a dozen plastic bins stuffed to the rim are in the hallway. My books and magazines are stacked in piles. What really get to me is that half of my skincare and makeup products are currently MIA. Oh, in case if you're wondering, I've been sleeping on the living room couch. No, the couch is not pink.

(I apologize If I seem totally flustered and jumping from one thought to another. I'm just really fustrated right now.)

I've been going by Target, The Container Store, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond so much lately that the employees greet me the minute they see me. The sight of me slinging huge shopping bags on my back along with holding one on the left and one on the right is hilarious. Memebers of the local firehouse were impressed. Thank God for back to school sales. If not, I wouldn't be able to get everthing I needed at such good prices.

Chuck Is Moshiach
Just thought I would let you know that I rarely laugh at blogs and your chuck pic rocks- because I love writing about Lubobs
Hello Youf of Zion,

I'd be classed as a rabid Anti-Semite in the modern context of the Jewish narrative. Anecdotal evidence gleaned by observation of palpable Jewish hypocrisy has made me that way. The Jewish Narrative, from the point of view of this European Goyim, is a frenzied, deafening and dissonant whine that demands we shed our blood, and the blood of real Semites on your behalf so that you can occupy the mythical ghetto of Eretz Israel.

What I'd like to know is this. The Jewish Zionist would say that Israel has a "right" to exist. But that "right" rests on an unstable foundational premise that "Jews" were promised the land by Molech, and the fallacious canard that you are a Righteous and "Chosen" people. The evidence says that you are clearly not, and that you have nothing at all in you that we "Goyim" aspire to. Why should we believe anything you say?The logical conclusion, repeatedly sealed by the evidence, is that you are functionally irrelevant to us, except for the fact that you foist yourselves upon us, and whine when we refuse to defer to your self ascribed magnificence. This, the impending threat of irrelevance, is for you…. Persecution. We Goyim could, and demonstrably have, lived a perfectly noble and decent existence in your absence.

Please Explain.
Hi! Please grab anti-Olmert's Purim buttons from http://samsonblinded.org/blog/purim_banners.htm The buttons are free and could be hotlinked. Let's make some fun of Olmert!
How 'bout we just politely ask you to leave our communities? You have nothing that we need and we don't want you, the collective mindset you bring, or the resultant putrefaction of our society. The Jewish Meme, a mindset of unctuous, priggish narcissism is a cancerous poison that destroys is host and itself.The thinly veiled malevolence within your "make fun of" post resounds with the same mendacious duplicity of the friendly neighbourhood paedophile. You’re always our friend when there's an innocent to screw over. The Jew despises the fully aware Goyim because it is another opportunity lost.Piss off.
hokay...

check my site out, sounds up your alley...

http://www.metalisrael.com
why is it that I have no clue what is going on re: this post? it must be one of those private jokesy things...
Hi

Please consider writing news pieces or an op-ed for Jewrusalem: Israeli Uncensored News. We strive to present different views and opinions while rejecting political correctness. Ideally, we try to make the news "smart and funny." Thus, your input is very welcome.

Keep posting!

This is Nancy from Israeli Uncensored News
thanks,this is my sitehttp://kaminyoon.blogspot.com/.. be a follower..more wedding ideas!
http://loveumuch143.blogspot.com/..learn how to love more deeper...be a follower..thanks..
BS"DDiscussion with Moishela (with his family)A Handicapped child1 Iyar 5774 (April 30, '14)

"L’Shanah Haba’ah B'Yerushalayim"

Time is moving on and speeding up. I can’t say that we’re moving at the speed of light, but we’re moving on. It’s like a tank, a large tank that moves slowly but is very deadly and we are moving onwards forwards into the Nevuas of Hashem. Now we can see much more clearly what is on the horizon and if we look closely through our binoculars we can see clearly destruction and death, Shelo Naida.

We can see clearly how every single prophecy is coming true. On one hand it’s very frightening. On the other hand it gives us hope. It gives us hope that finally, finally we’re coming to the end of this terrible Golus; this most difficult time in all of our history, running from country to country every time the Goyim started killing us, trying to find a place where we could live in peace and worship Hakodosh Boruch Hu in every way without being attacked. We had to move from place to place and we had to reestablish ourselves financially so that we would have bread to give our children, our families. We suffered the fear of going upwards and then falling downwards in our spirituality. All of this will soon be over and it can be seen already with the naked eye, so-to-speak. Maybe we need the help of the binoculars, but we can see it already. We can smell the smoke of war and we can taste it as well.

We can understand now in our minds how two thirds of the world can be destroyed and we can be so depressed with this thought that we hopefully can forget our extreme Gashmiusdik world and decide finally to do true Teshuva. So I think my fellow Jews that it is time. It is time right now before the real troubles start. It is time to do Teshuva and to learn to depend only on Hakodosh Boruch Hu. Hashem is giving us many incentives for this, and many ways to learn to come so close to Him, so that you will fear nothing but Him. It’s our job to start to learn, how to be true Avdai Hashem and Ovdai Hashem. I hope and I pray that all Am Yisroel, every single one of Am Yisroel, will take my message seriously and stop with all the nonsense that most of you are occupied with. Push it all aside. See it for what it is – emptiness, and come closer to Hashem which is everything, all-encompassing, which is totally spiritual in nature and come close to the only Truth which is so absolutely Divine, so absolutely beautiful and pleasant and wonderful and all-encompassing that you will soon forget the hard grimy materialistic world and be swept up in the beauty and the holiness of the spiritual world of Hakodosh Boruch Hu, Hakol Yachol, the Creator of all existence.

Can you just imagine looking up and seeing the third Bais Hamikdosh looming above us, inviting us to come and bring Karbonos, finally after so many years? Can you imagine that? It will turn from a dream to reality, but we have to really desire this. We have to really long for it in order that we will also be Zoche to be part of it. L’shana Haba’ah B’yerushalayim, Yerushalayim Habenuyah!

Sefiras Haomer this year, is part of the countdown. We are going now from slavery to freedom and we are going to see many miracles on the way so between when we began counting until Shavuos there will be many changes in this world, difficult changes. It will be hard to understand maybe for many, but in the end all of the pieces of the puzzle will be put together and we’ll see a clear vision of what Hashem wants from us. We will also be aware of what this distorted world has taken away from us. Everything will be clear, pristine clear, clear as can be. We will have no doubts. We will trust Hashem completely.

I feel that Lag Baomer this year is going to symbolize the end of a certain way of doing things. I feel that things are going to change drastically after Lag Baomer, in Eretz Yisroel and generally in the world. We are looking for tremendous changes after Lag Baomer, and by Shavuos and after Shavuos, tremendous changes.
Ramchal and Mayor LaGuardia: Related?
Derech Hashem is really good!!! I recommend it to anyone the least bit interested in jewish thought!
Derech Hashem is awesome, even if you can't understand it...but it gives some sort of comfort by showing some formula of how everything works.
Don't forget ShD"L also.
BS"D

I beg to disagree. Derech Hashem is not so difficult. It needs some concentration, but the reward is huge: finally many things about Judaism which they never taught us as kids become clear.Also Mesilat Yesharim and Maamar Haikarim (much shorter) are excellent Jewish Hashkafa texts.情趣用品,情趣,角色扮演,吊帶襪,丁字褲,飛機杯,按摩棒,跳蛋,G點,自慰套,情趣內衣,情趣,情趣用品,SM,G點,按摩棒,飛機杯,充氣娃娃,自慰套,情趣用具,角色扮演,睡衣,SM,潤滑液,情趣玩具,愛愛,

This is Nancy from Israeli Uncensored News
Israel: where winters at
Gil Ronen has made a new short film, this one showing Chanukah scenes in Israel. While Chanukah has passed, these wonderful images and the happy sounds of singing children are timeless and a joy the year round. Please help make sure it reaches a wide audience. If you like it, I hope you'll consider posting a link to it on your blog or passing it on to your friends by email.