Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Top Secret

Please note: In the interest of National Security some names and places in this post have been changed or "blued" out.

Not all of you are aware that from the years XXXX through XXXX I served as a secret double agent in the country of XXXXXXXXXX. My covert mission was to track down the enemy and infiltrate their inner circles, eventually gaining their trust. The mission was successful and only a handful ever knew my true identity.

In order to relay information back to Central Command without blowing my cover I was implanted with a microscopic radio-laser-infrared device under my epidermis in an inconspicuous location. This device served me well throughout my years as a secret double agent and many innocent lives were saved.

Now that my patriotic obligation has been completed and I have returned to civilian life it was time to have it removed. This afternoon I was taken to a top secret location in XXXXX where it was excised and whisked away under heavy guard to spy headquarters where it will be analyzed and all the sensitive information it contains will be erased.

Valerie Plame, let's do lunch!

$.04

$1.47

Addendum: Due to the "ewwww" factor, as well as pressure from Central Command and Homeland Security I have replaced the original graphic images in this post with these very benign images of flowers from my garden. For those who missed them, sorry.

As for this entire post, it goes to show that anyone can embellish the story of a little scar into an incredible adventure.