Articles tagged with: Ask Rabbi Singer

Do you have any advice on how to effectively handle rejection? I’m looking for words of wisdom when it comes to gently informing others I’m not interested, as well as how to cope or deal with others informing me they have no interest!

Can you please explain to me why men who establish a nice connection with a woman online and ask her out routinely end up canceling the date at the last minute (and don’t reschedule) or fail to call as promised to complete making the date “arrangements” or outright stand the woman up on a fully planned date? This happens on this site as well as other dating sites. I am completely baffled, particularly with the consistency with which it happens. Can you shed some light?

I know distance can be a barrier, but is there any trick to starting a long-distance relationship when you’ve never met in person? I’m looking to move across the country this fall and have already started searching JDate for new guys who live in my future community. How do you start a relationship online, and keep a spark until you get the chance to meet face to face?

I’ve been on JDate for a few weeks. There are several men I’m interested in meeting, but I’ve been burned on other dating sites by emailing men and never hearing back. I’m pretty, thin, successful, funny and smart. Dating is never a problem once I meet someone. However, it seems like the online space is a man’s playground where women need to wait to be picked. Is there some way to get on a man’s radar on JDate that isn’t too forward and gets the conversation going?

Both my parents are very liberal and don’t have much, if any, religious affiliation. However, I decided that Judaism is the right way of life and have considered myself a Jew for the longest time. I intend to perpetuate it by raising Jewish kids and having a Jewish home. Unfortunately, many Jews I know view me as incomplete when they compare me to themselves, which was not an issue and nothing my over-confident character couldn’t handle.

I am a somewhat fanatical atheist from a primarily Jewish family (3 of 4 grandparents). My values regarding family and community, as well as my own cultural self identification, are very much aligned with Judaism. I attended some Hebrew school under duress, but eventually got my way and opted out. I often argue that being an American Jew is an identity that extends and can exist separately from religion and faith, but I know that this position is often in the minority.

I love dating and being with Jewish men. But, it seems that everyone wants to have kids. I enjoy being around children, at least part time. But having my own is not an option. Should I even continue looking? Or should I give up and move on to other religions?

Dear Rabbi,
I have to say, I’m really out of touch when it comes to this whole “online dating scene”. You see, being 39 and single (and struggling just to make new friends in this town I’ve lived in for almost 15 yrs) has been downright exhausting! I’ve turned to temples, synagogues, JCCAs and the Jewish Federation for help, and now I feel like the only direction to go is online. Even though I’ve tried this online scene before and failed, I keep coming back to it because everyone says this is where you’ll meet people, this is where you’ll meet your beshuva, to which I reply, “bah humbug” (for a lack of better words!!!).

When we met, sparks flew from the first moment. Neither of us have ever experienced anything like it… he said the following:

1. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my sober existence
2. I have never had a better time than the time we spend together
3. You have so much going for you- you’re brilliant, beautiful, and you have a great career
4. We are two halves of the same whole

Ok, so when a man feels all of these things supposedly, how could he just let me go like that?

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