How to Get Traffic For Your Website by Using the PS4

January 7, 2013
Written by Sebastian Moss

Do you run a games/tech website and want a quick and easy way to make tons of hits? Do you like money? Do you not want to have to spend time actually looking for interesting news to cover? Then read on for PSLS’ sure-fire, 100% guaranteed-get-your-money-back how-to guide on how you can use the power of one word to make billions.

We all know how it is – it’s January, there’s not much news to report on and you’re desperate for something to bring the traffic in. Don’t despair, use the PS4! There’s a reason why the Shift symbol of 4 is $$$! It’s PS$ time, and we’re here to tell you why.

Google is Stupid

They may be the creators of the world’s biggest website, a self driving car and sci-fi glasses, but Google’s search algorithms are flawed for one simple reason – it’s all done by a machine that has no understanding of what it’s reading! It just looks for keywords in your article, primarily going by what you’ve put in your title. That means it doesn’t know/care if your title is completely incorrect!

You can put “PS4” somewhere in your title, even if it shouldn’t be there and doesn’t make any sense! Don’t take our word from it, how about some absolutely true (Google them) testimonials?

Like how, when the PS2 ceased production, something that only happened because Sony believes that sales have dropped to a level where it’s no longer cost effective to produce, a bunch of totally-quality sites shoved PS4 into the title with headers like “Could PS4 be on the way?” and “PlayStation 2 Axed … PS4 on the Way?”. Or there’s this amazing title, where the PS4 was cleverly snuck in – “Details on Sony’s PS4 Still Elusive, As Valve Announces Its Own Console”. There are hundreds of such examples – take notes people!

Even we aren’t as amazingly smart as these sites: when we uncovered a Sony patent to use your fingers as a gun, we went with “SCE Patents Depth Sensing Camera: Use Your Fingers as a Gun”. Examiner went with “PS4 features uncovered: Sensor to turn hands into guns”. See, truth doesn’t matter, titles do! We failed at eliciting the maximum amount of traffic and profit but, with the “whatever + PS4” formula, you won’t!

People are Stupid

Don’t worry about your misinformation hurting your long term traffic because it won’t put most people off coming back and reading your articles all over again. All the major sites do it, and they’re still the major sites. A few readers actually think about what they’re reading, but are far and few between, and there’s always more sheeple out there to con!

Plus, as PS4 hype spreads, the “whatever + PS4” principle will become all the more lucrative as time goes on. Based on Google’s 12 month average, 2,323,000 people search for PS4 or PlayStation 4 every month! And the actual figure is far higher, as exponentially more people are searching for it now than a month ago:

Advertisers are Sexy

The important thing to remember when you look yourself in the mirror, sickened at what you have become, is that your readership aren’t the consumer. The advertisers are! They are all that really matters, so hits is all that really matters. There’s no need to give a damn about ethics, values, morality or quality.