"Very often we are our own worst enemy as we foolishly build stumbling blocks on the path that leads to success and happiness."

While it's true that we can't have success without failure, it's also true that we must learn from our own failures, and the failures of others. We don't have the luxury of enough time in our lives to make and learn from all the mistakes that can be made, so we must learn from the mistakes and mis-steps of others.

The following are ten of the most common causes of failure. Remedy some or all of these and you have eliminated the biggest barriers to your personal success.

1. Always blaming someone other than yourself for a failure. Rather than constantly blaming others or external circumstances for something that didn't turn out the way you wished, ask "what could I have done differently?"

2. The opposite of the first cause, blaming yourself for every problem. Self-pity defeats more people than anything else. Look outside of yourself for real circumstances leading to a failure. Be forgiving to yourself.

3. Having low goals that don't stretch you. Set goals that will grow you and then take positive action to accomplish them.

4. Choosing the wrong goals for yourself. Make sure each goal you have set is yours, has value, and is mutually beneficial to all involved.

5. Seeking the shortcut, or path of least resistance, to success. The shortcut is a myth. You must prepare adequately and put in the effort required to truly succeed.

6. Again, the opposite of the previous one; taking the longest road to your destination. Choose to take the most direct route to your objective as guided by mentors, books and courses of study.

7. Not paying attention to the details. How many stories have we been told where one little detail made all the difference? Pay attention to the little things and deal with them.

8. Giving up too soon. Have you heard that nothing can take the place of persistence? Here's the infamous quote:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” ~ Calvin Coolidge

9. Carrying the burdens of the past around with you. Yes, learn from the past but live in the present and face the future.

10. Believing success is the end in itself. Each success is but a spot along the journey, keep moving forward. As Talleyrand reportedly said, "A man can do everything with a sword but sit on it."

Which one of these roadblocks is most dominant in your life today? Now that you know what it is, how will you deal with it?

"There are seeds of self-destruction in all of us that will bear only unhappiness if allowed to grow."

Is the Will to Fail or Will to Win more prevalent in your life?

Here are some suggestions to minimize the Will to Fail and maximize the Will to Win:

Stop being "busy" and start being "productive" instead. Are you doing things just to avoid doing more important things? Constantly be aware of the best use of your time and work hard at focusing on the most important things to be done. Seek to understand why you have unproductive habits and slowly replace them with more productive ones.

Don't get caught up in making a living instead of creating a life. One way to do this is to move away from a direct relationship of trading hours for a set wage. Seek to create income producing entities that function without your direct time and attention.

Protect your prime energy for those things that are a priority for you. Know when your most productive hours of the day are and schedule the most important things to be done during those hours.

Try breaking each large and overwhelming task into a group of three smaller tasks and then those three tasks into three more, etc. It's easier to accomplish one small step than take the whole flight of stairs at once.

If you want to get more stuff done, set shorter deadlines, since work typically expands to the time allowed.

Yes, there is a Will to Fail in each of us, but we don't have to let it dominate our lives; we can put things into place that supports our Will to Win.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

"Feeling sorry for yourself is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have"

Why do we worry, feel bad for ourselves and experience unhappiness?

One of the big reasons is because we're focused on ourselves and not on helping others.

The challenge for today is to maintain an attitude of gratitude and realize life is NOT a zero-sum game.

Regarding worry, do you know the majority of the things you worry about will never happen OR have already happened? A survey regarding worry revealed these facts:

40% of things people worry about never happen;30% of what we worry about has already happened;22% of what people worry about are issues which are beyond their control; and only8% of what we worry about are things over which we have any influence.

One of the magnificent things about being human is having the power to control your own thoughts. Put this power to work and decide not to worry but to focus on being helpful instead.

"People are just about as happy as they decide to be" ~ Abraham Lincoln

When you do happen to slip into worrying, try to think about the worst thing that can happen...can you live with that? If so, move on. If not, you had better do something about what you are worrying about!

Each morning make a habit of being thankful and writing down a few things you are grateful for.

Focus on helping others, being grateful, and see how much worry and unhappiness evaporate from your life.