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First time in 20 years…

August 7, 2012

I was considered an artsy kid. I danced, I sang, and I did art. Art was particularly special to me — I could spend hours in my room drawing. I always thought I would somehow have art in my life, but I gave it up back in my early 20s for what I thought was the right reason: I lacked talent!

Yes, I could draw. But I couldn’t create anything I thought “special”. Truth is, I was scared. I ached at the prospect of someone looking at my work and dissecting its imperfections, which I was sure were many. So I walked away.

Recently, I found myself drawn to some inexplicable need to create something with my own two hands but I wasn’t exactly sure what that was. A milestone birthday under my belt — I suppose I thought that I’d better get to it now or risk missing my window. But what to do, what to do…

Over the past year I have worked with a life coach, been channelled, taken an art therapy workshop — all in an attempt to figure out how to inspire some creativity in my life, beyond what I do for clients. I realized one day that I was surrounded by many wonderful artists including Scott McKowen, Teddy Payne and Janet Hill, and a long time friend, Norah Borden (all making a living from their art, I might add) but I was sitting on the sidelines. So, after a lot of soul searching, I decided to just do it. I picked up some paint, a small easel, and a canvas and after agonizing about it, I finally started.

So, here is my first attempt at painting in over 20 years! First time with oils. (It’s not exactly finished, but I needed a break from it.) While I’m still terrified to have people critique my work, I send this out into the virtual universe as a symbol of letting go. That, and I have the “comments” section turned off so I don’t have to find out what you think. Whoever “you” are.