Me: “Vitamins are good for rabbits, especially younger bunnies who are making their first move–”

Customer: “Can’t I use ferret vitamins?”

Me: “Well, no, because rabbits are herbivores and ferrets are carnivores. They have different nutritional needs.”

Customer, to husband: “I don’t need any vitamins!”

Customer’s husband: “Well, what about food?”

Me: “We have a large assortment of rabbit food. The more colorful ones that contain dried fruits and vegetables are really going to help your rabbit, especially if you don’t plan on feeding it fresh fruits and vegetables.”

Me: “Well, the birds can’t reach their beaks through the cages. Did your son have his finger in the cage?”

Customer: “Yeah. Well, there’s nothing telling you not to.”

Me: “Sometimes they get scared when you poke your fingers into their cages, and the only way they know how to tell you is to nip you.”

Child: “Oh, okay. I bet he was just scared.”

Customer: “You should put up some signs in here telling people your birds bite!”

(I show the customer the signs posted on each and every bird cage asking customers not to poke fingers into the cages as the birds may bite, as well as the additional two on the doors entering the bird room.)