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Thursday, April 17, 2014

Update On My Femininity Journey

You might remember from this post that I am trying to reclaim my femininity. I am pretty frustrated at this point. My main focus is strengthening my body and increasing my flexibility. Neither of which is going well. Now that I am working 9-5, I am finding it impossible to get everything I need to get done after work, which includes exercise. On days that I don't exercise I find myself still with things I want to get done when it is time to go to bed. On the days that I exercise, that problem is so much worse. I can't seem to figure out how to solve it. Other people do it. I wish someone would tell me how.

To make matters worse, my flexibility isn't getting any better either. My hips and my hamstrings are so tight and no amount of stretching is helping. My lower back and between my shoulders blades are problem areas too. I'm assuming that the problem is something beyond tight muscles but I don't know what or how to find out. I'm looking for a chiropractor that has a good reputation and is affordable. That is an unlikely combination though. Still, I know that making sure that everything is aligned properly is the best first step I can make. After that, a full body massage to loosen muscles and release toxins is probably the best second step.

Something that is going well is updating my wardrobe. Overhauling your wardrobe is always going to be difficult and take time, but it will happen if you keep at it. So far, I've found 2 A-line skirts (my favorite shape), 2 wrap dresses, a shirtdress, 2 cardigans, and a crop cardigan. It's definitely a good start.

I have to remind myself to be kind to myself during this time. I've only been on this journey for a few months. A few months isn't long enough to undo 20+ years.

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About Me

I have been spending some time trying to figure out what I want out of life and what steps I need to take in life to get what I want. I have decided to focus on teaching journal therapy and have been researching what my options are and what I need to do to achieve that. I hope to eventually make that my career. I am also interested in poetry and photography. I hope to continue to cultivate my creativity and maybe even make them both side careers.

Why I Blog

This blog is mostly a way for me to navigate my very muddled journey to self-discovery. My past has caused me to put up walls to protect myself. Now those walls are hindering me and I'm determined to break them down.

I'm also using this blog as a way to post my writing anonymously. I love to write but I'm super insecure about it. Opening myself up to criticism scares me to death. My creative self is incredibly fragile. But I desire to improve so I have to do it.

This blog is going to be an outlet for me as well. Posting pictures, quotes, inspiring writing, and my random thoughts is a way for me to keep them and refer to them whenever I need to.

Dreams

◊ To Graduate College With Business And Writing or Literature Degrees◊ To Make A Living By Writing◊ To Make A Living With Photography◊ To Own A House On The Beach◊ To Meet A Man Who Loves And Respects Me◊ To Raise Good And Successful Children

◊ To Teach Journal Therapy, Especially To Children◊ To Go To Other Countries And Help Formerly Exploited People Become Financially Independent◊ To Learn To Play The Violin◊ To Learn To Play The Pipa◊ To Travel For Fun◊ To Learn Archery