Your grammar is horrible. The smut is average which doesn't make up for almost every line having some horribly obvious mistake. It's not even just grammar. In one line you call Sasori a virgin and almost immediately after that you say they've had sex before. You should really consider getting a beta reader. If you already have one then you are pretty clearly in need of a new/better one.

yumyumYAOI chapter 1 . 2/18/2011

Hahahahaha that was so fucking awesome what Konan did. I would have been doing the same thing!