I've had a few people ask for a place where all of the reign battlegames are put in one place for easy viewing. I'll be going back and posting the battlegame write-ups from the reign here, so people can reference them in the future if they are so inclined.

In honor of the Iron Mountains 21st birthday, we've got as special battlegame planned!

Everyone wants to be the team that brings Emperor Grix the most wonderful, magical present in the land for the Iron Mountains 21st Birthday. So much so, in fact, that faithful groups of Iron Mountaineers are willing to slaughter each other in order to deliver the package to their sovereign.

This caravan battle involves two teams, each of which has the goal of carrying the package along a treacherous mountain circle path to present to the Emperor. One team must carry the package to one entrance to the circle in order to present it, and the other team to the other entrance. Here are the rules for carrying the package:

1) Must be carried by two people2) Carriers cannot run with the package3) Carriers must have at least one hand on the package at all times (may fight with the other hand) and may not carry any equipment in their carrying hand.4) carriers must stay within 5 feet of the path line at all times.5) The package cannot be made inaccessible to the other team by any means (e.g. insubstantial).

Death count will be 45 seconds (players begin counting upon death, but must respawn at their designated respawn points). Players other than the carriers may move anywhere on the field.

This Saturday, at the Empire of the Iron Mountains: Tree Huggin' Hippyfest 2013!

The background:

His excellency, Grixnificent the Environmental Conscious, has decreed that trees are totally sweet. This decree has set about a wild frenzy amongst the populace of the Iron Mountains, who, by their ever-competitive nature, are hell-bent on showing that they love trees more than those other guys. One such group, IMETA (Iron Mountaineers for the Ethical Treatment of all things Arboreal) has taken to hugging trees, and killing anyone who attempts to interrupt their arboreal ardor. Similarly, ALF (The Arboreal Liberation Front), has also promised to free the trees from their bondage so they can roam free and frolick like unicorns amongst the marshmallow mountains.

On second thought, this back story is just getting stupid, so here are the game rules.

The rules:

There will be up to four trees, each of which will be ringed by a ~10' radius circle. At regular intervals (unknown to the players), the team that has a member of their team, and not a member of the other team, in one of the circles gets a point for that circle. Highest number of points after 20 minutes wins!

Infinite lives, 30 second death count. You can start counting immediately upon dying, but must come alive at your designated base.

We'll be starting the game at 2:00, so get there early to get some pre-game ditching in. Look forward to seeing everyone at the park!

His Imperial Overlordshipness, Grixnificent the Scientifically Inclined, has run out of lab rats for his maze-like experiments. His fanatical followers in the Iron Mountains have volunteered to act as lab rats for purposes of his nefario.... er, magnanimous experiments! Here are the rules of the experiment:

There are 4 teams (red, yellow, blue, green), each of which has its own entrance to the maze. Fighting may only occur within the maze itself, or in the designated bases. Each team has five flags that they must protect from the other teams. A team wins the game by getting 10 flags at their own base, with at least two flags of every color. Each person may only capture one flag at a time, and must take it back to their base before retrieving another flag. You may capture any color flag from any team, including retrieving your own team's flags. If you die while holding a flag, you must immediately drop the flag where you died. Flags must be held in the hand, but players may otherwise fight and move as normal.

Death count is 30 seconds. You may begin counting as soon as you die, but must come alive at the designated spawn points. You may not cause the flags to be inaccessible in any manner, and must drop the flag immediately upon dying or becoming insubstantial, frozen, or stunned.

His Imperial Exceptionalency, Grixnificent the Equine Enthusiast, recently watched a special on The Imperial Geographic channel about the rare, majestic unicorn, or "Equus unumcornu." Overcome with equine ecstasy, Grixnificent decreed that anyone who can bring him a matched pair of unicorns will receive in return a lifetime supply of a magical substance known as "oxygen". The fanatical followers of the Emperor, mesmerized by this wonderful new substance, have searched far and wide to find these magnificent creatures.

Word has reached the Emperor that Archduke Medryn the Metro-sexual Meanie, has a magnificent menagerie within which he keeps his pride and joy, a pair of prized "Equus ununcornu bellum", or war unicorns. Medryn has refused to gift these beautiful creatures to his Majesty, claiming his Majesty "doesn't deserve nice things," and thus, the Emperor feels justified in taking them by force. He has sent a force to the menagerie to capture the unicorns, and lock them into magical pacification cages. Medryn has vowed to fight off the bandits, bringing his multitude of meanie minions with him.

Here are the rules:

Two teams, one attacking, one defending. The goal of the attacking team is to capture the War Unicorns and drag them each to their own pacification cage. This can be done by grabbing the unicorns "reins" and stating, "Ooooh, what a pretty little pony." This will cause the unicorn to become docile, and they can then be lead back to the cages. The win condition for the attacking team is to get the Unicorns to the cages and hold them there for at least 90 seconds. The attacking team has a life pool of 50 lives, and a death count of 30 seconds. You may begin counting as soon as you die, but must come alive at the spawn point.

The goal of the defending team is to protect the unicorns, and repel the attacking team by depleting their life pool. The defending team has infinite lives, 30 second death count, and must come alive at their designated spawn point. If a unicorn has been captured, they may release the unicorn within the 90 second time frame by grabbing the docile unicorn's reins and stating, "Let slip the 'Corns of war."

The unicorns are also players on the attacking team, and have the following stats:

His Royal Funktacularness, Grixnificent the Explosive Aficionado, likes the cars, the cars that go boom. However, since cars don’t actually exist in the Iron Mountains, he instead has decided he likes the Amtgarders that go boom. His fanatical followers are vibrating at the opportunity to explode for their emperor’s amusement. Well, not so much themselves exploding, but rather causing other Iron Mountaineers to explode instead. When Warlord Eggman’s poor puppy was the unfortunate victim of Defender Geryon’s pyrotechnics display, however, it turned from a friendly fulminatory frolic into a frenzied and fatal fireworks fiasco. With the body parts of IM’ers littering the field, Geryon and Eggman rallied their few remaining troops for their final confrontation.

The rules: Each team will have a bomb that they need to plant in the other team’s base to win the game. The team that is able to blow up the enemy team’s base first wins. To blow up the base, the team must place the bomb in one of the vulnerable rooms, set the timer for 60 seconds, and ensure that the bomb goes off while still inside one of the vulnerable rooms. Each base will also have a safe room, which is the only place where the bomb can be defused. If the defending team is able to get the bomb into the safe room, state “defusing” x 5, and then turn the timer off before it explodes, the bomb is successfully defused, and can then be reset and used. If the bomb explodes anywhere other than in one of the vulnerable rooms or the safe room (e.g. out of the base), anyone within arm’s reach of the bomb immediately dies. If the bomb is rolled or thrown, the bomb immediately explodes. To reset the bomb, you must take it back to a reload point, and state “loading” x 5, after which it can be used again. If a bomb explodes, it then becomes inert, and can be taken by either team back to a reload point.

You know that feeling you get when you eat ice cream really fast, and get brain freeze, and it really sucks?

Yeah, well our awesome-saucealicious Emperor, Grixnificent the Schadenfreude Enthusiast, really likes that feeling. Well, he doesn't like the feeling, but he likes the feeling of watching other people have that feeling, which is kind of the same thing, right?

Anyway, everyone in the Kingdom has been invited to the Emperor's Pre-eminent Popsicle Party! His fanatical followers are all swooning in ecstasy at the idea of banging their heads into a wall from eating too many cold things for the Emperor's amusement. All attendees to the extravaganza even get that legendary carrot-on-a-stick to entice them to join in the fun: Grixbucks!

But wait! Some of the Emperor's followers have become not quite so fanatical. Defender Geryon appears to believe he has caught on to the Emperor's ruse. He's beginning to suspect that the Grixbucks aren't actually worth the imaginary paper they haven't yet been printed on. However, he can't seem to convince the Emperor's other fanatical followers that the Emperor is not as magnanimous as everyone seems to think. He's decided that the only way to convince everyone is through that time-honored tradition of changing people's minds: violence. and so, Defender Geryon and his men descend upon the perverse patriarch's popsicle party and it's unsuspecting attendees...

The rules:

Simple. Last man standing. The first team to rid the other team(s) of all living members on the field at the same time wins.

Unlimited lives. Death count will initially be 100 seconds, although this will be extended as the game continues. However, participants can come back from death more quickly (thereby avoiding the chance of having no one alive on their team) by completely eating a Popsicle. Upon completion of the Popsicle, the individual respawns immediately, declares alive, and is back in play. As soon as a single team has no more living players on the field, that team is removed from play. This game may be played with 2, 3, or 4 teams, depending on the number of people playing.

When you die, begin counting, and please move immediately to the popsicle distribution area. If you need to retrieve equipment, you may do so, but please clearly indicate your dead status (so the reeves can keep track of who is alive), and realize that the more time you waste while dead, the more likely the enemy team is to win. The quicker you get brain free... er, get back in the game, the more likely your team is to win.

After a few weeks' hiatus for officially type thingies (and Kord is apparently too lazy type thingies), we're back with another episode of the adventures of his kooky kingliness!

Emperor Grixnificent (also known as He who squees like a Sally upon seeing succulent sushi) has heard of this great little place down the street, Echo's Umami Eatery, which boasts the freshest seafood in the Empire. The insatiable Emperor has commanded his fanatical followers in the Iron Mountains to descend upon the restaurant and bring him the spoils from its famous fish tank, within which resides the secret of Echo's success, the Cephalopodus Krakenus Regeneratus, or regenerating Kraken, Ted.

The forces sweep down upon the restaurant and, upon waiting patiently to be seated by the hostess, proceed to lay waste to the restaurant and to make for the fish tank to steal to spoils. The restaurant staff fought desperately to save the seafood from the savage squadron of squid snatchers. Unbeknownst to them all, however, Ted, who was not fond of having his limbs lopped off on a daily basis, saw this as his opportunity for sweet, soy-flavored revenge...

The rules: Each team will attempt to collect the most seafood within a given timeframe; The Emperor's team to take back to him as spoils, and the restaurant team to save it from the invading force. Fish are worth one point each, and squid limbs are worth five points each. The two teams will start on opposite sides of the fish tank. In order to capture fish, a member of the team must dive into the tank (signified by going down on your knees), crawl to the fish (signified by the orange cones), capture it, and crawl back out. In order to capture a Kraken tentacle, you must fight and defeat the Kraken's tentacles (signified by two players bungeed together), and take the tentacle (signified by a bandana) back to their base.

Each player may only carry one fish or tentacle at a time, and may not hold anything else in the hand in which they are carrying the item back to their base. Once the item reaches the base, it is counted as a point and is out of play. However, until it reaches the base, it can be stolen by the opposing team. Tentacles and fish may not become insubstantial or otherwise be taken out of play prior to reaching base.

The Kraken's Tentacles have the following stats:3 Blessing Against Harm per life (stacked)Enlightened SoulWeapons are Armor and Shield Breaking

One member of the tentacle must stay inside the fish tank at all times. Upon being killed, the tentacle will give a bandana to the person who struck the killing blow, move to the center of the fish tank, count to ten, and will come back into play.

Death count and respawn will be determined once we have an accurate idea of the number of people playing the game.