MODERN HUMORIST IS FORTUNATE to have come across "Clinton: Portrait of Victory," a 1992 coffee table book worthy of bedside tables everywhere. In it, photojournalist P.F. Bentley captures the vitality and stamina that characterized the Clinton-Gore campaign  nowhere more than in this photo, which shows Gore, in particular, straining against the fabric of conventional wisdom to surge ahead in the polls. Weve reproduced this copyrighted image for the purpose of reviewing the book, as permitted by fair use doctrine. We give the book a big, huge thumbs up, and encourage you to buy it here.

This caption appeared in the book:

That Clinton and Gore were simpatico from the start was to be expected: Ivy Leaguers form the South and fast-rising political moderates, both were "policy wonks" who thrived on debating intricate issues ad infinitum. Here Clinton walks Gore back to the Mansion guest house after a morning run.

Here are some captions we think would be more appropriate:

Introducing a prominent member of the administration

Now that's a health care package!

Protecting the giant redwoods

The President, the Vice President and the Attorney Genital

Bigger than Dukakis and Mondale combined

Looking forward to Erection Day

Clinton and Gore discussing the penal code

Remember America, I gave you the Internet, and I have a really big penis

How can I possibly write a caption for this when there's a huge cock in the way?