110 is rare milestone for a Lake Forest matriarch

LAGUNA WOODS – Selma Gaetz may not be a mother, but her nieces and nephews, who have been reuniting for Gaetz's May 12 birthday for decades, still consider her the matriarch of the family.

So it is probably appropriate that her 110th birthday landed on Mother's Day this year.

Eighteen relatives and friends, mostly from Gaetz's native Canada, joined Gaetz at her retirement community, Freedom Village in Lake Forest, for afternoon brunch before transferring to the Laguna Woods home of Gaetz's niece, Ella, 80, for birthday cake and refreshments. Ella Gaetz said her aunt "has always been the favorite aunt to all of these nieces and nephews."

"She is not my aunt by blood, she's my husband's aunt," said Ella, who remains one of Gaetz's closest relatives. "We moved to California from Canada in 1963; once we moved here, we were together a lot."

As the relative who lives closest to Selma Gaetz, Ella has helped organize her birthdays for years, first with another of Selma's nieces, Mildred Farley, then by herself. Many family members at the birthday gathering said they make it a point to visit Gaetz even when it is not her birthday.

Gaetz was wheeled through the front door of her niece's home by her caregiver of two years, Susana Santos. She quickly stood up to sit off to the side of the living room in the closest chair. "She doesn't like wheelchairs and likes to be independent," Santos said.

Gaetz was well put-together, wearing a matching set of pearl earrings and a necklace over a white cardigan and violet dress. Ella Gaetz said her aunt reluctantly wore pants for one of the only times in her life during a cruise to Alaska to celebrate her 100th birthday, but otherwise prefers to wear dresses.

Family members said Gaetz made her own clothes well into her '90s. Having never married, she spent her career in California making elegant window treatments for homes, studios and businesses throughout Santa Monica, Westwood and Beverly Hills.

Gaetz's drapes hang in Ella Gaetz's bedrooms. Her niece said Gaetz specialized in the Austrian puff, which involves vertical scallops fabricated as one piece as seen in theatre curtains.

When asked why she left home for California, Gaetz replied, "cause she wanted to." When asked why she did not choose to reside in another state, she said, "I didn't get a desire for it."

Within months of her move to Santa Monica in 1950, she bought her first car and learned to drive. She often drove visiting friends and family to Orange County and Los Angeles landmarks until she gave up her driving license – on her 98th birthday.

Earle Gaetz flew in from Bangkok, Thailand, where he moved after retiring in Canada eight years ago. He handed his great-aunt a beaded tissue-box cover and scarves he purchased in Thailand. Gaetz's eyes lit up when she saw the beadwork, and she jokingly asked her great-nephew, "Did you make this?"

"She is always in control of what she is doing," Earle Gaetz said. "She's very organized."

Doris Tyler, 86, of Kamloops, B.C., and Gaetz's oldest niece, said she loved the trips Gaetz would take her on when she would visit California as a child.

"When we were visiting, she would make us wonderful meals and take us around to see different tour spots like Knott's Berry Farm, Disneyland and the Crystal Cathedral," Tyler said.

Bob Miller, a nephew from Airdrie in Alberta, Canada, sat near his Gaetz, catching up. He said his aunt was a talented Tri-Ominos player and that they would play a game the next day.

"Do you remember when you told me you thought the Lord forgot about you?" Miller asked his aunt, remembering that she said that sometime after she turned 100.

"I don't remember that," she chucked.

Gaetz replied thoughtfully when asked about what she thought of today's generation.

"They do lots of things that we didn't do, so I think they're going to be OK," Gaetz said.

Ella Gaetz said her aunt has recently learned to crochet and has a natural talent for it, noting that Selma Gaetz might have forgotten that she learned how to crochet before.

"Maybe I'll start when I get home. I haven't thought about it yet," Selma Gaetz said.