new at dam

five six questions

Jaquandor recently passed along a five-question meme that's been circulating through the blogosphere. I've taken a while to get to it, but here are his five questions -- and a bonus -- and my answers.

One the first Tuesday of November this year, you get rip-roaring drunk before voting. (No, I don't know why!) In fact, you get so drunk that while you know you voted, you can't remember who you voted for...and you have the sneaking suspicion you voted for Bush. What do you do to atone for this horrible act?

Name the three things in your wife's wardrobe you like the best. (Not dirty stuff! Regular clothes!)

A couple of years ago I bought her a floppy black velvet hat with a wide paisley band at the St. James Art Fair in Louisville. It frames her pretty face just perfectly.

She has a nice black velvet dress, with short sleeves and a low, square-cut neckline.

Crystal enjoys making clothes for herself and The Girls, so it isn’t surprising that her creations are among some of my favorite garments of hers. Last but not least, she just made herself a lovely green sheath dress with a Chinese-style collar.

Crystal does most all of the laundry in our household, so her clothes are rarely dirty.

Name three things you think every woman's wardrobe should include. (Same disclaimer!)

Thigh-high stockings

Comfortable dress shoes

A Little Black Dress

Put ‘em all together, and hubba hubba!

(As a fourth, I’d say a big fluffy terrycloth robe.)

You've mentioned that you do a lot of the cooking in your household. Name your signature dish, and if it's not ridiculously complicated, give the recipe.

Since I’m partially of Sicilian heritage, I enjoy cooking pasta (one of my early influences is the scene in The Godfather where Clemenza teaches Michael to make spaghetti sauce. One of my favorite dishes is a pasta casserole. I still make it fairly often, but it’s seen the opposite of mission creep –the need to feed The Girls in a timely manner has forced me to take a few shortcuts. Here’s how I make it now (it takes about a half an hour):

1 pound of pasta (penne, rotini, or shells – I try for variety of shapes)

Fry the sausage in a large skillet, adding sage to taste. Drain when well browned. Combine the two cans of sauce. Add garlic (I use pre-chopped marinated garlic that comes in a large jar; it’s a great time saver, but I prefer fresh if possible). Stir in about a quarter cup of wine. Add oregano, basil, sugar and salt. When the sauce has simmered, pour over the pasta and stir. (Cecilia prefers angel hair pasta, so I usually make some on the side and set aside enough sauce to cover.) Serve with grated parmesan cheese.

Back when I wasn’t as pressed for time, I’d just use canned tomato sauce and season it a little more heavily with the other ingredients. As seasons and time permit, I also use fresh basil, oregano and sage from our garden.

You are given the power to re-make one film, any film, with your pick of any screenwriter in history, any director, any cast, et cetera. What film do you remake, and why?

I’m influenced right now by an email conversation I’m having on the relative merits of George Romero’s Dead trilogy, so I’d let Romero remake Day of the Dead, with the budget to implement the vision he showed in his original screenplay.

My reasoning is that his original script contained a more balanced presentation of the scientists-versus-military conflict than the eventual film. The film also left out what was probably the most intriguing aspect of the screenplay – someone dying and not coming back as a zombie. While I find Day an acceptable zombie movie, it’s by far the weakest of the trilogy. I’d have loved to see what Romero could have done with a decent budget.

Sure, he’d need to enroll in sexual harassment awareness training to get a job today, but I pick Pepe le Pew. As a devotee of swank old movies, I’m astonished that Charles Boyer didn’t sue over this dead-on parody. His unabashed – if self-absorbed – romanticism, perseverance unfailing optimism and proclivity for interspecies romance makes him a favorite. One of my favorite cartoons is the one – I believe it was set in New Orleans – In which he finally realizes that he smells, and gets himself fumigated. Meanwhile, the cat has decided she wants to be with him, and covers herself in limburger cheese. As a result, the now-dainty Pepe flees in horror while the cat chases him.

Jaquandor's own five questions are here. If any of my loyal readers would like five questions of your own, shout at me.

I was amazed by his reference to the Revolutionary War. As described by AP: "On the protracted struggle against insurgents trying to drive the Americans out, Bush said liberty doesn't come easily, and invoked the American Revolution: 'I mean, we had a little trouble in our own country achieving freedom.'"

Well sure, I guess. But I think I'd be a little hesitant to bring up the Revolutionary War as an example of why the strongest military power on earth is obviously going to prevail against a ragtag band of local resistance fighters (or terrorists, or whatever).

Spot-on, and alas par for the course when Bush's bellicose rhetoric is compared to reality.

If you didn't get a chance to catch the show -- or you couldn't stand Bush's smirk for an hour -- Criticalviewer has a pretty good summary. (I listened, but didn't watch, but reports are he looked more scared than smirking. He certainly didn't sound very confident.)

funky bollywood mp3 post of the day

BoingBoing über-bloger Xeni Jardin reports on a swell Bollywood-flavored version of Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough:"

This track is phat. This track is funky. This track makes me want to do a little dance in my ergonomic chair. A little google-digging reveals the song is by a group called the Bollywood Freaks, and came out on a limited edition red vinyl 7" in the UK.

22 questions

Jaquandor and P.Z. Meyers have each discovered a list of questions posted on various blogs, and I figured I'd jump in.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.

OK or Done—Accepts and puts into effect the selections you’ve made in the dialog box, and then closes the dialog box. (Sams Teach Yourself Lotus Notes R5 in 10 Minutes, Sams, 1999)

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?

A binder of documentation standards.

What is the last thing you watched on DVD? On actual TV?

On DVD, The Matrix Revolutions, last night. Actual TV, whoa…I saw some of the end of Big Comfy Couch on PBS as I was settling The Girls before I left for work. I haven’t sat down to watch an actual TV program in recent memory.

I rarely remember dreaming, but I think I dreamed last night that I bought a Swiss Army knife.

When did you last laugh?

I don’t remember specifically, but yesterday my mother and brother visited for Easter, and we laughed and had a good time.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Does cubicle count? A finger painting by my oldest daughter and a Japanese Mazinga phone card.

Seen anything weird lately?

I haven’t seen anything that I’d consider weird lately, no, but I have a fairly high tolerance for weirdness. I am looking forward to watching my new DVD of the Hong Kong erotic thriller Naked Killer; some would probably consider that weird.

What do you think of this quiz?

It has interesting questions, and I’m enjoying it.

What is the last film you saw?

Other than the DVD last night/in the theater? Prior to Matrix Revolutions, I saw A Simple Plan on DVD. I took The Girls to a preview of Home on the Range in the theater several weeks ago.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?

I’d pay off the house. Then I’d set up a trust fund so I would be able to write (and blog) full-time. Oh, and I’d probably buy an airplane – say, a Cessna 172.

Tell me something about you that I don't know.

My first “real job” was as the box office assistant at The Louisville Orchestra, which I worked the summer between my junior and senior years in college (1988).

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

'nigerian' spam of the day

Speaking of spam, I've been meaning to note an interesting variation of the "Nigerian spam" message that slipped past the filter the other day. I'm actually glad it did, because it's just barely interesting.

I am El’ Mugato Justice, a formal top government officer in ministry of Agriculture. I am 55 years of age, married with one wife and two children. I have served my beloved country Algeria for more than thirteen good years now.

Sir, your cooperation and advise is of great importance to me and I will like to invest my money in any lucrative or money yielding venture in your country of which you will be part of this investment proposal as an active partner following your professional advise toward the pursuit of this investment. I would personally like you to look into, real estate and property.

Please sir, I need to be educated professionally due to my low knowledge for any investment out side my country Algeria. I will like this proposal to be treated with absolute trust and honesty.

Kindly furnish and equip me with details about one. I am looking forward hearing from you with good news. Thanks for your anticipated cooperation and you can contact me with the above email address or my alternative email address : [redacted]

This one is interesting because it doesn't promise a huge treasure trove of stashed funds and offer a fee for laundering it. It almost resembles a legitimate business proposal. Of course, it's totally bogus, but props to this one for a semi-original pitch.

an unhappy anniversary

On April 12, 1994, a pair of attorneys in Arizona launched a homemade marketing software program that forever changed the Internet. Hoping to drum up some business, Laurence Canter dashed off a Perl script that flooded online message boards with an advertisement pitching the legal services of Canter & Siegel, the law firm he ran with his then wife, Martha Siegel.

The response was immediate and harsh, offering one of the loudest signals up to that point that unchecked marketing would not be tolerated in the new medium. Thousands of recipients registered their displeasure, and a new label for the burgeoning business of unsolicited mass Internet advertising was coined.

"Send coconuts and cans of Spam to Cantor & Co.," one outraged Usenet reader wrote amid the uproar that followed the Canter & Siegel message. "(Be sure to drop the can of Spam on its seam first.)"

Ten years after Web surfers began using the spam label to describe intrusive online marketing, junk e-mail has ballooned into an epidemic of massive proportions. But righteous anger over the problem has increasingly been replaced by resignation. With no effective solution in sight, many people now ruefully wonder whether the "Internet era" might more accurately be dubbed the "age of spam."

Unfortunately, spam has indeed become tolerated, as Interent users have had little choice. I pay my ISP a dollar a month for a spam-blocking service that works reasonably well, but it doesn't catch everything. Still, it's nice to be able to delete hundreds of spam messages with a single click, as opposed to playing search-and-delete every time I get my email.

search and enjoy

happy easter

A very happy Easter to all. The holiday was incredibly pleasant. Yesterday my lovely wife and I took The Girls on two Easter egg hunts, and that evening they and I dyed eggs (a first-time event for our little family). This morning we had a little plastic egg hunt in our living room, and then I accompanied the family to church (a rare, although not unprecedented, event; I usually attent the Church of Godzilla Movie or worship at the Shrine of PlayStation on Sundays). The Girls were incredibly cute in their outfits. In the afternoon my mom and brother traveled up from Louisville for a visit. We had brunch of absolutely superb bagels, lox and pastrami from Shapiro's Deli, and mom brough up a baked ham. Since Lent is over, I also got to drink a Guinness for the first time in 40 days. (Mmm!) We had a pleasant visit. After putting The Girls to bed, my wife and I watched our new DVD of The Matrix Revolutions (pretty good, actually; it struck me that the second and third flicks are essentially one long movie, which explains the flaws in each). I expect ot have more to say about the flick later, but for now it's good night.

As I've said, Bush's very specific denials -- that he was not, for instance, warned that terrorists would use aircraft as missiles -- are clearly designed to cover for the fact that he failed to take adequate action to prevent the hijcaking (and after all, no hijacking, no 9/11). Bush's excuse -- however true -- that the memo itself contained "no actionable intelligence" is pathetic indeed, and no excuse for taking no apparent action in response to the warning, but instead going on a month-long vacation.

While I admit a certain grim satisfaction in seeing my predictions validated yet again, I'm not pleased. It's one thing to draw an inference from the available information about the Bush Administration's incomepetence and mendacity. It's sobering and troubling indeed to be confronted with irrefutable evidence.