Lazy Husband!

Currently pregnant with my second child, have a 16 mos old that i try my hardest to put on a schedule but everytime I have to work and hubby is off, he sleeps in until 12, 1, or sometimes 2 PM while our 16 mos old is in crib. This is causing so many problems between us because he doesn't come to bed with me as is, he stays up until 3 AM playing video games or watching TV. He wont feed the dogs, the cats, or do any household chores and now I feel like I cant even go to work because I'm scared he's not taking care of our son. But then if I dont work a 40 hour week he complains that I dont make enough money. :'(. I dont know what to do, I've tried talking to him, I've tried setting schedule with him but he will comply for like two days then go back to his old ways.. I love my husband with everything I have but my son comes first.

Comments (61)

Currently pregnant with my second child, have a 16 mos old that i try my hardest to put on a schedule but everytime I have to work and hubby is off, he sleeps in until 12, 1, or sometimes 2 PM while our 16 mos old is in crib. This is causing so many problems between us because he doesn't come to bed with me as is, he stays up until 3 AM playing video games or watching TV. He wont feed the dogs, the cats, or do any household chores and now I feel like I cant even go to work because I'm scared he's not taking care of our son. But then if I dont work a 40 hour week he complains that I dont make enough money. :'(. I dont know what to do, I've tried talking to him, I've tried setting schedule with him but he will comply for like two days then go back to his old ways.. I love my husband with everything I have but my son comes first.

Is he leaving your child in a crib for hours at a time while he sleeps? Why h...

Posted
09/02/2018

Is he leaving your child in a crib for hours at a time while he sleeps? Why have you stayed and why are you continuing to leave your child with him?

No, my son is sleeping in too because no one is going in there to make sure hes up by a certain time and when he stays up so late, son is too busy preoccupied with what hubby is doing so hes staying up too. When I'm off, my son is in bed by 10:30 and wakes up no later than 10:30 the next day.

Is your child napping and he doesn’t wake LO up when you would like him t...

Posted
09/02/2018

Is your child napping and he doesn’t wake LO being left in the crib awake why he sleeps? If it is number 2 that would be my HTDO!

No, my son is sleeping in too because no one is going in there to make sure hes up by a certain time and when he stays up so late, son is too busy preoccupied with what hubby is doing so hes staying up too. When I'm off, my son is in bed by 10:30 and wakes up no later than 10:30 the next day.

And you decided adding a second child to this preexisting dynamic was a good idea? A second child isn’t going to make him fall into line with your parenting plans nor respect that your job OOH is equally important and taxing as his.

Sounds like you chose a poorly when you decided to marry and have children with this guy; he expects you to be a modern day working woman while simultaneously being a 1950’s housewife. We CANNOT change his mentality what we can do is advise that, if you’re worried that your child is not being care for properly, you make arrangements to do so IMMEDIATELY. Daycare or another childcare option where you do get a say in demanding a schedule is kept is your first step. Cannot afford daycare? Then start looking a working opposite shifts whereyoir H’s shitty parenting isn’t as much of a problem with your chosen sleep schedule.

Finally, therapy. Now. You picked this guy and have buyer’s remorse yet still managed to get pregnant again whether intentionally or accidental. Figure out why you continue to make choices that directly contradict how you’re feeling about your H and his role as a parent and partner. Learn that the only person you can reliably change is yourself.

He’s not a good father nor a good partner for you OP. Now it’s your turn to make a choice based upon that knowledge.

No, my son is sleeping in too because no one is going in there to make sure h...

Posted
09/02/2018

No, my son is sleeping in too because no one is going in there to make sure hes up by a certain time and when he stays up so late, son is too busy preoccupied with what hubby is doing so hes staying up too. When I'm off, my son is in bed by 10:30 and wakes up no later than 10:30 the next day.

I'm confused.

So he's not a good housekeeper and probably has never been.
But you made it sound like he was leaving his child in a crib, ignored, for hours a day. In reality, lo is in bed for an extra few hours and is sleeping that whole time. And it sounds like your son is very attached and bonded to daddy, staying up late to watch him. So why are you worried about your son? Sounds like he's being cared for, just not how you want it.

Your husband isn't neglectful for not parenting how you want him to. You both obviously have some major incompatibilities regarding sharing of household responsibilities and how y'all parent. So what are you going to do to try to get on the same page, compromise? Because you don't get to make all the rules because you are mom. Dad is equally entitled to parent how he sees fit.

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