End Times

March 23, 2006 at 10:59 AM

Equinox finally brought the temperatures above freezing the past two days, and no sooner had the ice in the streets begun to slush into potholes, the snowmen were out picketing against the onslaught of spring. A dozen of them stood on the side of the highway, their brightly colored signs fluttering protests to the passing traffic: “Say NO to SPRING!” “THE END IS NEAR!” “The PLOWS are HERE!”

Their sentiments, no doubt, are vastly in the minority, as protesters usually are. Likewise, all their efforts will not change the tide of meltage that is to come. I have forseen it; I saw fate stamped on their gaunt figures and drooping heads. It’s inevitable. It will be done. Let the breakup begin!

Meanwhile, the local Fred Meyer store put its bin of $1.99 stretch-gloves back in storage and brought out the flip flops and sunscreen. I think I'll buy a pair while they’re on sale. Who’s antsy for spring around here, anyway?

Ha, no, my students didn't do that. This particular corner on the highway has done something strange every winter. Last year, they stuck a hose over a bush and made a huge ice lump, dyed blue and red. The year before, they stuck a large sign on top of their house that said "UFO's WELCOME!"