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OP, either the lady is just being cautious until she knows you better, or she is hiding something. Let's work from the second assumption for now.

(Btw, are you certain the first name she gave you is her real first name? I'd say that's unlikely since she could easily make up a last name too, but I'm trying to cover all the bases.)

Why would she not want you to know her last name? Possibilities that immediately come to mind are: 1) She is married or in a relationship with someone else, and doesn't want to risk you learning this; 2) she is a public figure whose name (but not face) is well known, such as a high-profile attorney, and she wants to be sure you are interested in her for herself; 3) her family name is either prestigious or infamous, and she wants to make sure you aren't influenced by her family until you know each other better.

Now, back to the first assumption: she just doesn't know you well enough yet to give her full name; perhaps she hasn't given you her home address or telephone number either. She may have good reason for being cautious, such as a previous stalker or identity thief. In this case, she doesn't want to be deceptive, just very careful so early in a relationship. After she knows you better (assuming the relationship progresses well), she will give you whatever personal information she is comfortable sharing with you.

Would I be concerned? You bet I would, it's somewhat creepy and makes me wonder just what the big secret is. But if I liked her well enough to see her three times and want a fourth date, I don't think I'd make a big issue of it just yet. (I'd certainly keep my eyes open for any indications that something is amiss, however.)

I already have the philosophy of never trust a woman with a pulse and this just reaffirms it.

Spoken like a true mysognist. I bet that you are reeling them in eh?

On topic: I can only speak for myself when I say that I won't give my last name either to someone that I'm not interested in. However if I am, then I have no problem. Search my name all you want, there isn't anything to find. Except for FB and my privacy setting are strict.

There is a woman who has the same name as me, who happens to live in the same province also. Its her name that always comes up in google....lol.

Men on the internet, heck no I don't give them my last name, even if we've dated a few times.

Quick google leads you right to my door. It's a safety issue for women and any respectful man would and will understand that.

Yeah... right... Look if he has dated you a couple of times then he has your phone number. Which he can use to do a reverse look-up of you name, address and everything else. If he has been out on a couple of dates with you then he may have walked you to your car, peeked at your license plate and voila, has access to your name, address and all.

This is really poor thinking if you honestly believe that keeping your last name from a person that you have dated a number of times is protecting you. The fact is that if he wanted to do something to you, then YOU ARE ALREADY IN HIS PRESENCE. HE CAN ROB RAPE AND KILL YOU AT HIS LEISURE AS HE DOES NOT NEED YOUR LAST NAME TO HARM YOU. If you are really that fearful and mistrustful of the man, then why would you date him at all, much less more than twice?

Well canam, Google will not get you to my door. My phone number is restricted and does not come with an address either, so reverse look up does not work in my case. And to do a criminal search on someone, you at least need a last name and definately a birthdate.

If he has been out on a couple of dates with you then he may have walked you to your car, peeked at your license plate and voila, has access to your name, address and all.

But you have no control over this particular area. So how protected are you?

This is really poor thinking if you honestly believe that keeping your last name from a person that you have dated a number of times is protecting you. The fact is that if he wanted to do something to you, then YOU ARE ALREADY IN HIS PRESENCE. HE CAN ROB RAPE AND KILL YOU AT HIS LEISURE AS HE DOES NOT NEED YOUR LAST NAME TO HARM YOU. If you are really that fearful and mistrustful of the man, then why would you date him at all, much less more than twice?

The remainder of my point which you did not respond to? Again it is just a silly point of view. You are not in fact any safer by not providing your last name. The truth is that if he wants your info, then he does not need your last name to get it. If you feel that unsafe then why would you be dating men from the internet more than twice?

Besides, I am Canadian and I am familiar with Sylvan Lake. It has a population of about ten thousand people so really this is a silly conversation that you are having. You ain't hiding from anyone in your town. Heck, my high school had over two thousand kids in it. You town is five of my high schools.

This just happened to me. I spent several hours texting and e-mailing and talking on the phone, then went to lunch with the guy. HE wouldn't tell me his last name, so I ended it with him immediately. He said because I am a paralegal, the temptation to look him up would be too great. He wanted me to get to know him first. Sorry, red flag, he's got something to hide.

I have wasted time talking on the phone, texting, e-mailing, chatting, and meeting for lunch only to learn that the guy I have been talking to/ having lunch with is a registered sex offender who just got out of prison. Personally, I have NOTHING to hide. I am NOT a sex offender and you can Google me, pay for a background check, etc. I don't care. I have no skeletons in my closet. If you come to my house, my dogs will bite you and put you in the hospital if you are unwelcome.

Sorry, I'm not dating a guy who won't tell me his last name. Not going to happen. I'm a single mom and I don't want a sex offender in my house. Besides, I've said this a thousand times before as well, dating a person off the net is just as dangerous as meeting someone in Church or a bar. People you meet from anywhere are psychos, liars, and sex offenders.

Dear Lord, please send my one and only soon so I can get out of this dating pool. It's really not fun.

I've said this a thousand times before as well, dating a person off the net is just as dangerous as meeting someone in Church or a bar. People you meet from anywhere are psychos, liars, and sex offenders.

And you are on a dating site why? I have a squeaky clean past, and there is no way in Hell I would give you my last name-it's a personal rule of mine not give my name or number to a paranoid psycho. You better got off this site, delete your profile and hide in a closet before one of those evil people get you.

Have you been going on dates, etc? Have you seen her home? Or have you been just "talking" online or emailing back and forth. If you have met, been on dates, etc. I would think her telling you her last name would not be an issue because you have met and are on dates etc. If that is the case, I would be concerned. Maybe she has a lot of debt or something on the circuit court website she doesn't want you to know or she is married or is from a famous family or has a famous last name. Or she is just nuts. Now if you haven't met yet and are still talking, she is just being cautious. I will not date anyone unless I have their first and last name, their phone number and I know a lot about them. Hope that helps. Good luck!

Now if you haven't met yet and are still talking, she is just being cautious. I will not date anyone unless I have their first and last name, their phone number and I know a lot about them. Hope that helps. Good luck!

My point is that people on the web are no more dangerous than people you meet in real life. There is no need for you to be personally attacking me, I have just as much right to express my opinion as anyone else.

My point is that people on the web are no more dangerous than people you meet in real life. There is no need for you to be personally attacking me, I have just as much right to express my opinion as anyone else.

If you have seen her maybe 3 times she is still wary as she can be tracked by her last name. Do you know where she lives for example. If she met you from here then she is prudent to be cautious. I spoke for six weeks with a guy on the phone before meeting him and he didnt know my last name nor even asked for it. He was lying about his and he was married. She may be, as well.

Are people that paranoid in this society today not to share a basic bit of their identity with another out of some unfounded fear?

No, people in general are not paranoid. Women in general are not paranoid, but we are cautious and alert. The woman you are seeing is paranoid.

At some point, if it hasn't already, it will turn into a trust issue between the two of you. The real question is: Are you OK with this part of her personality that will likely show up in other areas as well?

i think that is bs. you have been dating her for 3 weeks and she won't tell you her last name? is she married? is she wanted by the fbi? this is ridiculous. at some point, the walls have to come down, and you should probably not only know their last name but their middle name, too!