Friday, 5 September 2014

The 'F' word.

Recently I’ve noticed the increased used of the term
‘Forced’ adoption. I can’t tell if becoming more aware of it or it is a term that is
sliding increasingly into popular use.

If I’m honest the term strikes a chill in my heart. In fact I’ve not been able to bring myself to read an
article in this months Professional Social Work magazine with ‘forced adoption’
in the headline.

I have to ask myself what am I afraid of?

I guess the term conjures up the worst of images, children
snatched from crying mothers by heartless autocratic Social Workers and given
to adopters, oblivious and irrespective of the devastation left behind. Tragic historical cases that surface again and again, shaming the authorities responsible.

When the term is used for contemporary that's when my blood turns cold.

Though I’m young in my Social Work career I’ve seen enough
to know injustices happen, cases slip, Social Workers drop the ball, lies are
told and courts are not always places of justice. It seems that the media would
sometimes have us believe that there are more injustice than not. However, I know that is not the case but one unjust 'forced' adoption is enough.

The voices of the adopters are never heard in the in the
articles or programmes. But I can’t help but think of them.

As adopters the unwritten or unspoken contract that we enter
into is that this is in the best interests of the child or children we call ours.

That
everything was done to ensure that the children could not remain with their family of origin. Every stone turned every door pushed and every corner looked into

We have to believe that.

For my children I know their story and journey and I rest assured that we were the best route possible for them but I can't help but feel a chill when I hear the F word.

I would imagine that pretty much every adoption in the UK at present could be considered 'forced' in that there are incredibly few cases where children are relinquished. If you don't relinquish your child voluntarily, what can it be except 'forced'? This is why I don't personally like the term. It's so loaded.