Hi Dan
Interesting topic, one most leaders will have struggled with I’m sure. I’m going to challenge your final list – bullet 7 – is that O.K. 🙂
I personally find this a poor response to your trying to be constructive by providing feedback. Partly because it’s a form of denial (Prove it!) and partly because it turns the ‘attack’ in a sort of passive aggressive way, and partly because often the ‘feedback’ comes after an accumulation of things – not just one moment or instance. If the person giving feedback is not ‘strong’ it is also a surefire way to close down any further feedback.
I’d replace it with – ‘Thank you – next time you see me doing that please point it out – I need to improve on that’. Also deep down we all know when there is an element of truth – and truthfully we don’t need the evidence spelt out.
As a coach once pointed out to me – everyones perception is real (to them) – an authentic person validates that for them (the feedback giver) and then decides what they wish to change in themselves.
Happy Tuesday
Richard

I’m going to agree with Croadie, but for a slightly different reason. Where I work, it is a common strategy to ask for an example when someone points out a problem, then they will correct the example and think the problem is solved. It’s like treating the symptom instead of the disease.

Lack of control over one’s ego makes feedback so much harder. If you struggle with empathy then it will be much harder to see another’s opinion with value (since you’re putting yourself in the other person’s shoes).

It’s amazing to me that anyone would not seek feedback, understand it, and act upon it!!! Very few truths / facts in this world; but ‘perfection is impossible’ is one of them. Why in the world would anyone not want to improve??? OR not want to be complimented for that matter…

I really enjoyed reading the comments – and your replies today (a few days late). You are demonstrating one way to receive ‘constructive’ feedback well. At times feedback is positive; I find that at least as challenging to receive well as criticism, because I don’t know where to take the praise, except if I can pass it on.