My Race Shirt

Today I wear my race shirt… not the one I earned by participating in an event, but the one I wear to my big events. The shirt I am comfortable in and that gives me confidence. The ones my family and friends can recognized me in. The one in all my happy race pictures.

For the past two days I have been sad thinking about the three people that lost their lives cheering for their friends and families at the Boston Marathon. I have been sad for those who were seriously injured and maimed. Those lives are forever changed.

I am also spending a lot of time thinking about the runners. The ones that finished with PR’s or the ones that were still an hour away from finishing. I am sure they are conflicted. You know they are sad and angry that this happened to these people at this race, but also for themselves. It takes months to train for a marathon and a lot of hard work. If they set a PR on Monday, can they be happy about that? Can they ever talk about their race without feeling guilt. If they didn’t get to finish can they be disappointed without thinking “well, at least I am alive”. Are they forever going to feel selfish for being sad about their race being ruined while others are now missing limbs?

It is just a horrible conflict of emotions.

Those people got ready in their best race gear and put on their race shirts. They never got to celebrate and take pictures with their medals at the finish line. Their race reports will always be tainted with the devastation at the finish.

I am going to continue wearing various running gear this week in honor of those whose lives were forever changed on Monday. It isn’t much, but it is my way of remembering.