MISS USA Olivia Culpo was crowned Miss Universe 2012. Janine Tugonon of the Philippines was first runner-up. If, for any reason, the new Miss Universe fails to fulfill her duties or does not survive the Apocalypse, Miss Philippines will take over.

Miss USA is Miss Universe 2012. If, for any reason, she fails to fulfill her duties, then she must be the president of America.

When Miss USA, Olivia Culpo was declared winner, she was ecstatic. Apparently, she wasn’t informed that her reign ends at 11:59PM on December 20.

Miss Philippines-Universe lost the Miss Universe 2012 title to Miss USA. Tito Sotto is proposing at least 30 amendments to the Miss Universe criteria.

A panel of judges voted for Miss USA. The Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines accused the White House of pressuring them.

Miss Philippines-Universe Janine Tugonon was outvoted by Miss USA. Catholic bishops threaten to bring the issue to the Supreme Court.

Janine Tugonon lost the Miss Universe title to Miss USA, Olivia Culpo. Janine dismissed rumors that she recently changed her religion.

Janine Tugonon lost. Can somebody confirm reports that Mitt Romney met with her before the pageant to say good luck?

Miss Venezuela was stunning! When asked, ‘If you could make a new law, what would it be and explain why,” she answered, “Kghtramljuate juatmdofh weksurg ftxiryd surfer. Pjhrygftgrt ertsg dnhuakrta law. Thank you Vegas!” She lost.

Miss China failed to make the cut but Beijing was still proud. The semifinalists wore swimsuits made by Chinese kids in Guangdong.

This year, Donald Trump and the Miss Universe Organization asked the public to tweet a question for the finalists. The top question that wasn’t read on the show was, “If the world’s going to end on Dec. 21, what the hell are you doing here in Las Vegas? Aren’t you supposed to be with your family?”

Donald Trump opened the Miss Universe pageant in a Santa costume. For a moment, I thought the Mayan prophecy has begun.

Miss Philippines lost to Miss USA. And this just in: Bob Arum wants a rematch!
————————————————-“Nature didn’t need an operation to be beautiful. It just was.”
~Scott Westerfeld, The Uglies Trilogy

TIME magazine picked US President Barack Obama as Person of the Year. I guess the killing of Abu Nazir nailed it for him.

Sound Bites
“For me, being Miss Universe is not about knowing how to speak a specific language. It’s about being able to influence and inspire other people. So whatever language you have, as long as your heart is to serve and you have a strong mind to show to people, then you can be Miss Universe.”~Miss Universe-Philippines Janine Tugononwhen asked by pageant judge Nigel Barker if English should be a prerequisite to becoming Miss Universe

DID YOU MONITOR the Senate Blue Ribbon Committee’s hearing on the PCSO fund mess Wednesday? The hearing was attended by several bishops plus, of course, their savior, the senators.

At least eight bishops and a dozen senators converged Wednesday in the Senate. It was a face-off between pretentious, holier-than-thou, self-proclaimed devout Catholics, and bishops.

PCSO chair Margie Juico apologized for saying that the bishops received “Pajeros.” Sen. Jinggoy Estrada lectured Juico, and said “As a devout Catholic, it pains me to hear that our bishops are involved in anomalies here in our country.” To which, the bishops replied, “The feeling is mutual.”

Butuan Bishop Juan De Dios Pueblos admitted that he made a “lapse in judgment” when he asked for “a brand new car.” And in a move that shocked both the bishops and senators, Virgilio Garcillano issued a statement saying he never gave Pueblos a car.

Reading from a prepared opening statement, controversial Butuan Bishop Juan De Dios Pueblos admitted that he made a “lapse in judgement” in asking for “a brand new car” from former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. As soon as he was done reading, the other bishops held hands and started singing, “If We Hold on Together.”

Zaldy
Former governor Zaldy Ampatuan revealed that ex-president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was involved in the election fraud in Maguindanao in 2007. Likewise, he revealed that Jose Rizal was killed by the Spanish; the Earth revolves around the sun, and John Lennon was shot by Mark David Chapman.

Zaldy Ampatuan has initiated court proceedings to change his last name. He is seeking a little compassion and empathy from the public. Hopefully, the judge would grant his petition to use the surname Mangudadatu.

Lintang Bedol
Former Maguindanao election supervisor Lintang Bedol has surfaced and accused the Arroyos of masterminding the election fraud in Maguindanao in 2007. Oh, I thought Lintang Bedol was dead. Well, now he is.

Lintang Bedol has exposed the alleged massive poll fraud in Maguindanao in 2007. Following his revelation, Bedol expressed fear for his life while Miguel Zubiri expressed fear for his post.

With his revelations against the Arroyos and other officials of the previous administration, Lintang Bedol has expressed fear for his life. He now considers changing his name.

De Lima’s Lovelife
Interviewed on ANC’s Strictly Politics, Justice Secretary Leila De Lima, whose marriage was annulled in 2001, admitted that she has a boyfriend. The 51-year-old single mom refuses to identify the guy nor his background but reveals she has six (new) witnesses to prove her claim.

Justice Secretary Leila De Lima has a lovelife. Take that Mr. President!

Absent!
Among congressmen with the most number of absences in sessions, Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao placed fourth. In other words, he’s not present when solons deliberate on important issues. How are they able to tell?

Ang Galing Pinoy party-list Rep. Mikey Arroyo topped the list of absentees in the House of Representatives. In May 2011 alone, Mikey failed to attend a single session of the chamber. In totally unrelated news, Rufa Mae Quinto topped the list of absentees among “Showbiz Central” hosts for the month of May.
——————————————————————————————-“Men of ill judgment ignore the good that lies within their hands, ‘til they have lost it.”
~Sophocles

Quote of the Week
“Manny’s a good friend, I actually love him. I love his tenacity, I love his competitiveness. So, Manny’s my guy.”
~NBA superstar Kobe Bryant on Manny Pacquiao

Intelligence Funds
During Thursday’s Senate hearing, it was revealed that in 2010 alone, the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office released 150 million pesos for intelligence – higher than the AFP’s annual intelligence fund of 124.3 million pesos. Former PCSO General Manager Rosario Uriarte defended the disbursement of the amount saying the PCSO was able to neutralize Communist rebels, Muslim extremists, and the Abu Sayyaf Group.

PCSO General Manager Rosario Uriarte revealed that the letters of request for intelligence funds totaling 325 million pesos from April 2008 to Feb. 25, 2010 were approved by then President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Uriarte was certain those were GMA’s signatures because she was just one foot away from her when she signed the documents.

SUV-shops
The good news is seven bishops will return the PCSO money used to purchase their sport utility vehicles. The bad news is starting tomorrow (Sunday), there will be a second collection at the end of Mass.

Butuan Bishop Juan de Dios Pueblos says he is a victim of “character assassination.” Excuse me Bishop, but last time we checked, it was you who asked for “a brand new car, possibly a 4 x 4” for your birthday gift! There was hardly anything left of your character to “assassinate!”

Top 10 Things Overheard at the CBCP’s Bi-Annual Plenary Meeting Held Saturday, July 9, 2011

Overseas
Last Tuesday, a Florida jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of killing her 2-year-old daughter Caylee in 2008. Anthony wasn’t happy though because just this morning, the DOJ and the NBI announced they had found at least six new witnesses against her.
————————————————————————“We have two kinds of morality side by side: one which we preach but do not practice and another which we practice but seldom preach.”
~Bertrand Russell

Today’s Forecast in Sports
“The Miami Heat will beat the Dallas Mavericks in June. They will be crowned 2010-2011 NBA champs and LeBron James will finally receive his first ever championship ring.” — American Christian radio broadcaster and preacher Harold Camping

BREAKING NEWS: Malacañang has denied rumors that President Aquino has abandoned Roman Catholicism for another religion. Likewise, palace sources insist there’s no truth to rumors that the President is forming his own ministry called, “Ang Tuwid na Daan.”

The CBCP’s Threat
Interviewed on Radio Veritas, CBCP president and Tandag, Surigao del Sur Bishop Nereo Odchimar said the Catholic Church might excommunicate President Aquino if the government pushed through with a plan to distribute contraceptives. In the same interview, Bishop Odchimar appealed to Andres Bonifacio and the Katipuneros to surrender to the Spanish government.

This just in!
CBCP president Bishop Nereo Odchimar has denied saying that President Aquino may be excommunicated. He insisted that his statement was “taken out of context” and “blown out of proportion” by the media. “Taken out of context” and “Blown out of proportion” – Hmm, is Odchimar a member of the CBCP or the Presidential Communications Group?

Heckling Tour Guide
Social activist/Manila tour guide and Reproductive Health Bill advocate Carlos Celdran was arrested and detained Thursday for disrupting a mass at the Manila Cathedral. Dressed in a Jose Rizal-inspired outfit, Celdran stood in front of the altar, flashed a sign that read, “Damaso,” and shouted, “Stop getting involved in politics” in protest of the Church’ anti-RH Bill stance. Celdran was detained for almost 24 at the Manila Police District Station 5 in Ermita during which he started to write two novels.

Reports say Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim together with some soldiers, and policemen were attending mass at the Manila Cathedral when Carlos Celdran staged a solo protest action Thursday. Interviewed by GMA News, the police said it was Mayor Lim who ordered that Celdran be taken into custody. Lim is expected to deny that.

Manila tour guide Carlos Celdran was detained for disrupting a mass at the Manila Cathedral Thursday. The visibly upset priest decided to cut short the mass… and ordered Basilio and Crispin to usher Celdran out of the cathedral.

Light Bites: Modern DictionaryEx.Communication,noun: Term that may be used to describe Secretaries Herminio Coloma, Ricky Carandang and Atty. Edwin Lacierda if they don’t get their act togetherExample: Uy, ex.communication group head na pala si blah-blah! Kailan pa?

The IIRC Report: Reviewed
Malacañang says Executive Sec. Paquito Ochoa and Chief Presidential Legal Counsel Eduardo de Mesa have finished reviewing the IIRC report on the August 23 hostage crisis. Palace spokesman Edwin Lacierda says the results of the review will be posted at http://www.gov.ph. It will be uploaded five hours after it appears on www.gov.cn.

Miriam vs. Chavit
There’s an ongoing war between Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago and Ilocos Sur Governor Luis “Chavit’ Singson. The rift surprises a number of people mainly because neither Miriam nor Chavit belongs to either the Balay or the Samar Group.

In Entertainment
An amended petition filed by the lawyers of Kris Aquino claims the TV host and James Yap both have “personality disorders” since their youth. And I was like, is that even news?
———————————-“That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion”
~ REM, Losing My Religion

Marginalized?
Have you heard the news? Mikey Arroyo is running for Congress again. He is the first nominee of “Ang Galing Pinoy,” a party-list group that claims to represent security guards! You know what their campaign slogan is? “Para sa national security… No ID, No Entry!”

Energy Sec. Angelo Reyes is also seeking a Congressional seat. Reports say Reyes is a nominee of the party-list group 1-UTAK, a coalition of jeepney drivers and operators. Reyes representing jeepney drivers is not surprising though considering that he has gotten used to accepting jobs he absolutely knows nothing about.

El Shaddai leader Bro. Mike Velarde is reportedly running for a Congressional seat via the party-list elections. He is a nominee of the pro-life group Buhay. Personally though, I think Velarde would do better as BIR Commissioner. He’s really good at collecting revenues.

Reports say Bro. Mike Velarde decided to be one of Buhay’s nominees because of the government’s distribution of condoms. If that’s his only reason, he should have just sought the chairmanship of the CBCP instead!

Can you believe it? El Shaddai leader Bro. Mike Velarde is running for Congress too! His supporters believe he’ll make a good “Speaker.”

Top 5 Things You Wouldn’t Want to Happen if Bro. Mike Velarde Becomes the Next House Speaker

No. 5: The House of Representatives will celebrate its founding anniversary in Luneta.

No. 4: As an icebreaker during marathon sessions, he’ll ask congressmen to stand up and sing “Alive, alive, alive forevermore…”

No. 3: Before and after each session, collection baskets will be passed around.

No. 2: The official House uniform will be “anything checkered.”

And the No.1 thing you wouldn’t want to happen if Mike Velarde becomes House Speaker…

During a vote, he’ll ask his fellow congressmen, “Those who are in favor… say Amen!”

Marginalized, Too?
Dermatologist Manny Calayan is also running for Congress. He is a nominee of the party-list group Alyansa ng Media at Showbiz. Critics believe though that a Calayan victory will further deteriorate the quality of House members. Lalong dadami ang “plastic.”

Backers
Unconfirmed reports say the religious bloc-voting sect Iglesia ni Cristo and the Catholic charismatic group El Shaddai Group are supporting the presidential bid of Nacionalista Party standard-bearer Manny Villar. If it’s any consolation, Noynoy Aquino has the CBCP.

CBCP and a Revolution
Caloocan Bishop Deogracias Iňiguez Jr. was quoted to have said that members of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines would join a revolt in the event of a failure of elections. Skeptics doubt though the ability of bishops to win a revolution since they couldn’t even score a victory against Health Sec. Esperanza Cabral.

Gordon On Video
Presidential bet Richard Gordon who once declared, “I don’t need celebrity endorsers,” has appeared on a music video on YouTube with his celebrity endorsers, Moymoy Palaboy. Gordon even danced on that video. When Manny Villar saw Gordon’s video, he asked him to perform live at a Nacionalista Party rally for a fee.

Have you seen the latest Moymoy Palaboy video featuring presidential bet Richard Gordon? They were so lovably cute I thought I was watching the Oompa-Loompas.

Photo of the Weak:Ganito Kami sa Makati
Outgoing Makati City Rep. Teddyboy Locsin will be succeeded by his wife Louie, if she’d be lucky in the coming elections.

Erap’s Picks
Earlier this week, former president Joseph Estrada revealed the opposition’s 12 potential bets for senator in the 2010 national elections. Next week, he will reveal the names of 108 more – for the remaining nine factions of the opposition.

Ex-president Joseph Estrada has bared the opposition’s list of 12 potential bets for senator in the 2010 national elections. President Arroyo’s staunch ally – Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago was included in the list, to which the feisty senator said, “Nakakaloka!”

Former president Joseph Estrada has announced the opposition’s 12 possible bets for the 2010 senatorial polls. The list includes broadcast personality Teodoro Etong a.k.a. Ted Failon – something that didn’t really come as a surprise since Failon is affiliated with the only genuine opposition group in the country today – “ABS-CBN Party.”

And did you hear the latest? Born Again Christian leader and presidential aspirant Eddie Villanueva has likewise picked his 12 bets for 2010. He declined to name all but he nonetheless identified four: John, Matthew, Simon, and James.

Bong Revilla’s Plans
Bong Revilla has decided not to seek the vice presidency in 2010. Revilla said he was happy and satisfied being an actor, a TV host… and a part-time senator.

Bong Revilla said he would no longer run for vice president in 2010. Making that decision was by far, his biggest accomplishment yet as a senator.

Bong Revilla has also confirmed that his actress wife, Lani Mercado will run for a Congressional seat in Cavite next year. Caviteños are now wondrin’ if they’ve done something bad against the Revillas to deservr such a harsh punishment.

The First Canine
The White House has a new pet! America’s First Family, the Obamas just bought a six-month-old Portuguese water dog. That was big news in the US! But here? That’s nothing. Malacañang has its own lucky bitch since 2001.

The First Canine II
People at the White House got so excited when they heard about the arrival of the Obamas’ new pet dog. That’s the exact sentiment felt by Malacañang staff when Jinggoy first arrived at the palace in ’98.

The First Canine III
There’s a new pet dog at the White House! But that’s nothing compared to Malacañang’s three rabbits.

ChaCha Survey
The latest Social Weather Stations survey showed that 66 percent of Filipinos are opposed to a proposal to amend the Charter that would allow President Arroyo to extend her term. If it’s any consolation, a whopping 88 percent are in favor of seeing her inaugurate new road projects in Ifugao every week.

GMA’s Wish
Of course, you’re aware that President Arroyo celebrated her 62nd birthday last April 5. But guess what, she’s now accepting gifts and surprises for her 63rd birthday next year. Do you know what’s on top of her wish list? An “advance party.”

De Venecia on Party Merger
Former House Speaker and Pangasinan Rep. Jose De Venecia Jr. warned that the proposed merger of Lakas-CMD and Kabalikat ng Malayang Pilipino (Kampi) could lead to a disaster. Come to think of it, JDV has a point… because the last time Lakas and Kampi solons merged, his Speakership bid had disastrous results.

Senate of the Philippines vs. Villar
Remember the controversial C-5 road extension project in Paranaque City, which received double allocation in the 2008 national budget? The Senate ethics committee headed by Panfilo Lacson has found the case against former Senate President Manny Villar over this road project “sufficient in form and substance.” For the interest of those who do not understand those terms, when you say “sufficient in form and substance,” it means… brace yourself guys: the election season has officially begun!

Wanted: Priests
According to the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines, the country is facing a serious shortage of priests. Hoping to entice young Filipino men to enter the priesthood, the CBCP says the Church is giving seminarians an opportunity to free education, an opportunity to serve the Lord, and an opportunity to become a governor someday.

Despite the serious shortage of Catholic priests, the CBCP has reportedly rejected the idea of accepting gay applicants in the seminary. Senior members of the clergy do not want younger competition.

The CBCP says it is discouraging gays from entering the priesthood. Asked why, a CBCP official said, “Heller! Gusto mong ma-imbyerna ang Papa?!”

In Entertainment…
Actor Richard Gutierrez filed a 25 million peso-libel case against entertainment website Philippine Entertainment Portal for the site’s inadvertent uploading of an unverified news report that Gutierrez got involved in a brawl with a fellow actor. Rumors say, if the actor wins the case, he’ll use the money to buy something special and essential for his mom – breeding.

BREAKING NEWS (April 17, 2009):
Lawyers of Annabelle Rama have issued a cease-and-desist order to prevent the Philippine Entertainment Portalfrom printing anything and everything on or about Richard Gutierrez because of the barrage of negative comments they generate against the Gutierrezes. Because of this development, the latest illustrated edition of Merriam-Webster will carry the photo of Annabelle Rama and family… beside the word “insecure.”

Kata-Quote!
‘‘I’m running for vice mayor but I don’t know yet under which party.’’
~ Actress and Councilor Aiko Melendez on her plan to seek the second highest political seat in Quezon City

Elsewhere…Manila Standard Today columnist Antonio Abaya wrote:
“… for the protest movement to gain the participation of the crucial middle class, trapos (like Erap) and Communists should be excluded from its leadership. I am glad that some people are finally realizing the validity of that limitation.” Read the complete article here.

_____________
“Never vote for the best candidate. Vote for the one who will do the least harm.”
~Frank Dane

On the first day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
A crazed Justice Secretary

On the second day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

On the third day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Three oil firms
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

On the fourth day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Four Garci calls
Three oil firms
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

On the fifth day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Five GMAs
Four Garci calls
Three oil firms
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

On the sixth day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Six Jocjoc lying
Five GMAs
Four Garci calls
Three oil firms
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

On the seventh day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Seven Charter changin’
Six Jocjoc lying
Five GMAs
Four Garci calls
Three oil firms
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

On the eight day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Eight Roxas cursing
Seven Charter changin’
Six Jocjoc lying
Five GMAs
Four Garci calls
Three oil firms
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

On the ninth day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Nine Villars inserting
Eight Roxas cursing
Seven Charter changin’
Six Jocjoc lying
Five GMAs
Four Garci calls
Three oil firms
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

On the tenth day of Christmas
Bad Santa sent to me
Ten bishops ranting
Nine Villars inserting
Eight Roxas cursing
Seven Charter changin’
Six Jocjoc lying
Five GMAs
Four Garci calls
Three oil firms
Two JDVs
And a crazed Justice Secretary

The leftist Kilusang Mayo Uno is blaming the Arroyo government for labor leader Crispin Beltran’s frail health resulting in his eventual death. You think that’s absurd? Wait ‘til Liza Maza blames this government for her toilet that wouldn’t flush.

Ka Bel’s Replacement

Militant group Anak Pawis has named Rafael Mariano as a replacement for party-list representative Crispin Beltran – instantly crushing the Budget Department’s hopes of saving millions of pesos in pork barrel allocation.

Glorietta 2 Explosion Case

The Department of Justice absolved engineers and employees of Ayala Properties Management in connection with the Glorietta 2 explosion last year. These days, Malacañang’s got its hands full with the Lopezes, it cannot afford to wage another war with the Ayalas.

Free Texting?

The Department of Transportation and Communications will file a petition to force telecoms firms to make cell phone “texting” free. Meralco executives immediately expressed support for the plan and advised the telecoms firms to just pass on to the consumers the cost of their own calls to recoup some losses.

New Nursing Curriculum

The Commission on Higher Education’s new nursing curriculum requires 2,632 hours of studying instead of the usual 2,142. It shall now include units in video production – so that uploaded YouTube videos of nurses cheering and mocking surgical patients would be of higher quality.

GMA’s Net Worth

President Arroyo’s net worth grew by 11 million last year. That figure would have been higher had ZTE’s national broadband network project pushed through.

China’s Earthquake

China says the death toll from a powerful earthquake last week has surpassed 50,000. Observers say the quake was the “worst killer” of Chinese people in recent years – followed closely by their own government.

Personal

I’ve been called names by readers, particularly militant supporters of labor leader Crispin Beltran, because of my previous post. They’re mad. (They always are anyway.) I approved their comments so that “moderate” visitors of this blog could also read them.

My take on their personal attack against me? Nothing. Thank you for dropping by.

“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” - Gloria Steinem

WHILE I TEND TO believe that Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada Jr. could in fact be telling the truth, I do not consider myself as a fan. For all we know, he’s made millions for himself as consultant for other onerous government projects or transactions. But that’s another story.

This morning, former President Corazon Aquino with the Ateneo and the De La Salle communities hosted a thanksgiving mass for Lozada.

This post was inspired by the outpouring of support for the man who would have approved the ZTE NBN deal anyway if brokers agreed to a 65 million dollar-kickback ONLY instead of a staggering 130 million dollars.

Top 5 Rumored Plans of an Unidentified Anti-Arroyo Cult to Show Its Undying Support for the Beleaguered Jun Lozada

5: Organize the “Jun Lozada Friendly Games” between the De La Salle Green Archers and the Ateneo Blue Eagles. Performing at half-time will be the 2007 UAAP Cheerdance Champs: The UP Pep Squad!