Yeah yeah resolutions are for New Years, to be forgotten within the first week of January.

But! this year we're trying something different. This time we are - or I am, at any rate - going to check in and stay honest about how this shit is or isn't getting done. The only way to hack a life is to just fucking do it. So ...here goes.

If you're new to these threads No sweat! Forget about January and New Year's Resolutions and all that crap and demand better of yourself today!-------------------------------------------------I feel like a total shit keeping this going when I've failed so spectacularly.

I know it's just a matter of dismissing past failures, standing up and trying once again. It's just.

Goddammit, I let everything go...just when I was bloody fucking getting somewhere.

Dammit.

Well, you guys can't have done any worse. Hopefully you've taken over the world. Then I won't have to...---------------------------------------------

@razAw dude, don't tap out now. You've got to have more of a day by day attitude I think, and forgive yourself the lapses. Hows the Japanese going? I tried learning once and found the speaking easy enough but the reading and writing nearly impossible. Very cool thing to do though.

Its my birthday coming up, which is when I usually make resolutions because I find it easier to be disciplined in the summer when the weather is nice and I have more money, as opposed to new years when I am always broke. All my resolutions this year pertain to fixing my brain.

1. Baking. I actually kind of love cooking when I have the time for it and I used to bake bread a lot because it's sort of therapeutic; all those yeasty smells and the pummeling the crap out of warm dough. I haven't done it so much in recent times because contrary to my childhood beliefs, too much cake is a thing but there are plenty of other non-cake recipes to try and I plan to do 'em. At least a recipe a week if I can manage it.

2. Running. I already walk about 9 miles over the course of a week but that clearly isn't cutting it and I want to start doing some cardio. First step is to get some running clothes that I don't feel embarrassed to be seen in, so gonna try and sort that out this week so I don't have any more excuses not to get on with it. No gym for me because I'm too poor but I have a park opposite my flat so that should be peachy.

3. Quitting my addictions. I've smoked on and off for the past decade but I'm in a definite "on" patch and i need to kick the habit again. I hardly ever drink and I don't smoke a lot so I've been letting myself get away with it but I know it's no good really. Other thing I need to quit is fiction. Because no lie, reading fiction makes me crazy; I get all antsy and dissatisfied with life, I get so caught up in a chapter that I'm late for work, I find it hard to focus on thinking about anything other than what happens next. Ridiculousness ensues because I like books too much. Which is no way to live. Back to the non-fiction for me, I've got a book on the Apollo landings that's been looking at me funny for a month now anyway.

That's the lot for me. I'd like to be adding something creative or social to the list but I'm in pieces at the moment and I don't want to bite off more than I can chew. Immediate problems and solutions seem like the best thing for me focus on rather than airy-fairy "I might achieve that if I work hard enough" kind of promises to myself which I've never been great about keeping anyway. If I get a new routine settled in the next month or two I might try and add something in then...

That's some good shit, Badbear, you keep it up. I don't know where to start. That's how bad it's gotten. I'm not giving up. Just fucking frustrated and trying to find a way out of being frustrated/lazy/useless...

Been whooping dat ass on the novel. 19K words thus far, holding steady at around 1K/dayReading has fallen off a bit; July was a washWeight holding steady at 225 pounds of kung fu furyKeeping my appointments, got a tooth fixed, self-care circuits ENGAGE

@razrangelPreviously, the only thing that has worked me out of stagnation like that is a firm and instant commitment to do something right this second. Like "I am going to do ten minutes of so and so right the fuck now". A nice short deadline, no expectations, and if you manage more than that then great and if not then at least that's ten minutes right there and you don't have to feel quite so bad.

@fauxhammerWell done on persevering with your book. I've been trying to write a bit recently (just recreationally) and my god do I suuuuuuuuck. Also, I'm not sure I could hit 1000 words a day even if I quit my job.

Breaking up with my exes and moving out in early July, with no new place to live, has pretty much eaten my brain and time this month. My computer and bike were in storage, along with most of my worldly possessions, and I stayed in an Extended Stay hotel until I could find and move into a new home. So, I haven't gotten much done, is what I'm saying. Argos and glukkake said very helpful things last month, for which I didn't thank them. Thank y'all, belatedly.

1. Art goalsI completed one whole page of pencils, which looks totally decent, and a few sketches. Not exactly a month's worth of work, but progress, nonetheless. I've also spent a lot of time daydreaming, so now have the basics of three stories thought up. Making them visible will be the hard part, but that one page I finished was the first page of one of those. Registration and orientation at art school is next thursday.

2. Maintain target weight and get blood pressure in control.No idea! I left my scale at the house. I had to get rides to work while at the Extended Stay, and I've been eating a fair amount of comfort food. My pants no longer need a belt to stay on, but they're not tight, either. My doctor says I should stop worrying about my blood pressure, and stop checking it at free drug-store machines because that may be stressing me out. My friends say I might ought to try therapy, so now I'm fretting about that expense.

3. Plan my website for selling prints.Considering other sales options, as per glukkake's advice. One of the regulars at the coffee shop has taken to asking me if I'm looking into galleries yet.

4. Learn to drive, get my driver's licence.Fukkit. I'm now back in the same neighborhood as pretty much everywhere I need to go, and have my bike again. I'm a bike commuter, and will feel good about that.

5. Socialize more.I haven't dated since I was a teenager, and have no idea how to ask people out as an adult. There's a girl I'd like to ask out once I'm less of a mess, but she's probably straight and too young for me. I may join an internet dating site, once the thought of a new relationship sounds less horrible.

July was a shit month of shitness. But let's focus on other things, yes?

1) My Own Projects - The Kickstarter was FUNDED! I seriously could not have done it without you guys. Looking at my backer list & how many are either my friends or friends of my friends just shows how awesome of a community this is. The rest of my year is basically going to be narwhals, narwhals and more narwhals. I've spent the past couple weeks incorporating, getting a business checking account (I feel so adult! And it's the first account I've ever opened by myself. And yes, I'm almost 30), I got my factory picked out and I have a prototype that's all wrapped up and ready to go on an adventure to China. In the meantime, I've been reading up on what manufacturing and production will mean in the future, as far as the fun business of getting a narwhal on every store shelf, companies I can hire to help with distribution, companies that will absolutely NOT help and will just take my precious moneys and I have a ton of designing to work on as far as package designs go. Plus websites to build, tear sheets to design & a Kickstarter blog that needs more story time in it. *Whew*On top of all this, I'll be at SPX next... month... shit. I finally have the funds to move on the Alphabet Books & get everyone their prints. And I should probably get on some new prints to bring with me - maybe finally do my squid ink print that I've been meaning to do. And I set up a nifty pre-order page in case the skewers aren't here in time: https://www.shopstarter.com/p/glukkake/narwhal-bbq-skewers/. I spruced up a page of my site to now function as http://illfuckingprintit.com - a landing page for silkscreen production for people interested in hiring me for my second love in life and am trying to tidy up my regular glukkake.me site now that people seem to actually be paying attention.Additionally, I have a secret project I'm collaborating on that will involve my printing with a bunch of blacklight responsive inks in the future, if all goes well. But that's it. Until the narwhals are out in the world, I'm not allowed to have any further projects.

2) Draw Something Every Day - This is part of where my frustration with July came in. I ended up having so many of my side gigs - that I was working to stop my bank account from overdrafting - implode (I managed to do it FOUR times in less than 3 weeks, kids. Always good to see that I can still make a meal out of condiments despite my fancy living of late) that I just didn't have any time to do anything. I feel like I didn't spend enough time on the Kickstarter because I was curled up in a ball of pain from working until 7am on a project that would eventually be rejected. And not to mention, the main project that had to be re-printed 3 times came with as good as no compensation so I was running on fumes for most of the month monetarily, energetically and food wise. My other big project that would've paid me a hefty price I ended up paying out another guy at the Print Lab to do for me because I didn't have the time or energy to do it myself. Fuckity.

Suffice to say, no fun time practice drawing. Ideas are coming back to me, but for some reason I'm just not picking up a pencil and jotting them down. Not sure what that's about.

3) Stop Being Behind the Scenes - I haven't been doing anything too high profile, but I'm still making an effort at being more open about my motivations behind my work and sharing process again. I wrote a nice thing on my blog about why I chose the 7 of Pentacles for the AFP tarot deck.

4) Don't Procrastinate Spiral - I need to figure out a good way to count the hours I work. I told a friend it feels like I only spend about 4 hours a day working. I'm sure it's more, but social media and long breaks for meals always feel like I'm wasting too much time. Suffice to say though, I only have 3/18 emails in my inbox that are from before August. And the rest are all things I've received this week.

5) Keep Traveling - Too busy to travel. I want to go to Chicago in mid-late September and New Orleans for Halloween. If we don't do NOLA, I'm getting out of NYC anyways. It is also nearly time for me to sort out where I will go for the month of February to just get the hell out of NYC. But otherwise, I actually turned down a free trip to Chicago last weekend because I wanted to stay grounded in NYC and get my work done. And then on Monday I did not go on an adventure outside the city to see a band I like just cause, work. Wanderlust is over for now, it seems.

6) Start exercising regularly - Still haven't been able to afford to start a gym membership. I'm at the point where I'm actually shutting down Hulu+ & Netflix accounts just to free up the extra funds per month so I can stay far, far away from being as broke as July made me. I'm now trying to make sure I get a full 8 hour day at the Print Lab once a week. In July, I ended up doing a print run in 90+ degree heat for a good 5 hours non-stop. Since then, my shoulders have actually been much better. So I'm guessing my back problems have something to do with my posture while sitting endlessly at the computer. I need to, at the very least, take breaks. And get on that stretching/squats/home fitness regimen that folks in the Fitness thread are talking about. Maaaahhaaaaa *stuff face with chips and homemade salsa*

For a while I had re-started exercising regularly and had more or less started doing creative exercises regularly. Those two kind off stopped once I got the job. I was hoping that through July I would have learned how to organize my time and learned to re-motivate my myself, but alas, I have not. It's not that i don't have enough time, I just haven't allocated my time to those two things appropriately. Gah.

Also, while I like the job itself, I really, really, hate some of my coworkers. Like Raz mentioned in Open Mic, sometimes it seems having coworkers you get along with is better than a job you like, because they can make a shitty job tolerable. That said, I know that I'm likely to have coworkers I dislike no matter where I go, so I'm trying not to let the situation ruin the job experience.

August will see my trying to learn to love my job despite some less than stellar coworkers, as well as trying, again, to properly allocate some time towards regular exercising (outside of work, which, to be fair, is physical and non-sedentary) and creative practicing.

3. Use the slowcooker more. - removing this since my slow cooker is broken and I can't afford a new one.

4. Make beer. - Figured otu what went wrong with my Manor House Intrigue (the water) so will probably make another batch. Also working on a batch with the hops growing in my garden.

5. Get a part time job. - Freelance work has been flooding in, so...

6. Continue to be there for certain people. - Best I can.

7. When growing season hits, ROCK THAT GARDEN. - Radishes, tomatoes and hops!

9. Try and get out a bit more. - You know...I'm actually struggling with this one. More and more I've been forcing myself to be more social and...well, basically what I was last year. But what with the depression and being forced to stay at home for several months and a period where local friends weren't in as much contact, I...kind of lost it, to be honest. With a few asides (work-related groups and one-on-one meets), I'm kind of now that person who works up the courage to say one thing about a subject that ended ten minutes previous. Bit by bit I'm getting my confidence back, but relearning the social graces are taking a bit more time.

10. Look in to what is needed to start a bar. - On hold due to OH MY GOD EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE.

11. Drinking. We're cutting that down significantly. - I've learned to mainly keep to 5oz samples instead of full pints and have started drinking only beers I haven't tried before at festivals. Also when I get an abundance of the same beer from breweries I give a lot to friends now instead of drinking it all. Finding a nice balance with it!

12. Counselling. Get it. Sort that fucking head out. - Nope. But I'm feeling good about things at the moment.

13. Be as awesome, strong and amazing as you know you are. See yourself as others, especially POS, see you. - NOPE.

14. Keep doing Thirsty Wench stuff. - HOLY CRAP. Two panels in as many weeks, got treated like a celebrity at a fest last weekend, appeared in Now Magazine, Saveur Magazine loves me again, arranged a tv appearance in October, writing two guest posts and my small beer fridge is filled to capacity. SO. MUCH. STUFF. Also found out a bit of my rep among the industry which is more or less "clearly passionate, understands beer and can talk in a way that appeals to the layperson, which is hard for many to do". Considering that's what I'm going for, I'll take it. I also seem to be getting some cred for keeping ads off my site and not being sponsored. The site being purely out of love of Biercraft gets a nice nod, which...yeah.

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