RFK Continues to Fall Apart

Some fans have, in moments of anguish, referred to RFK Stadium as a hole. Yeah, well, believe it.

This photo, taken during Wednesday night's D.C. United victory, shows the lower portions of a Barra Brava member who had begun to be eaten alive by D.C.'s favorite decaying carcass of a stadium.

"A piece of RFK came out from under us, literally," one fan wrote to me. "The person it fell under only had a few scrapes, but it could have been worse."

Dang right it could have been. I'm imagining that scene in Return of the Jedi where Lando is falling into the Sarlacc pit with the rancor monster, except this Barra member would have been dangling over the snarling maws of giant D.C. rats and RFK's stray cats instead of the Sarlacc, and would have been dragged up to safety by the black and red strands of his scarf. Then Adrian Fenty would have flown by on a hovercraft and a flying cup of beer would topple him into the hole.

[Note to Star Wars fans: Or whatever the hell it was called.]

Anyhow, there's a lesson here: enjoy every jump at RFK to the fullest, because you never know when the ground might shift beneath you. Also, because you might die.

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: One vast and crumbling concrete bowl
Stands on a river. Near it on the asphalt,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is RFK, Stadium of Stadia:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The muddy Anacostia wends away.

Oops -- the "advice" got left on the cutting room floor when I hit submit. Just try to remember this age-old bit of wisdom that is best heeded by those who are smart enough to know their own limitations:

It is far better to remain silent and have others think you a fool than it is to speak up and remove all doubt.