diamond geezer

Friday, July 25, 2003

Way back in the first hour of this year's Big Brother I posted my initial thoughts on all the housemates. How well did I do at instantly judging all of their personalities based on first impressions? Not that I ever jump to conclusions, you understand.

Anouska: "She did an A level exam in Sociology last Wednesday. Started quiet, has got much louder. Must go."I missed Anouska's obvious appeal to a Sun-reading audience, but I did correctly deduce that the public would want her straight out. Good riddance too.
Likely future job: porndigitalchannel hostess.

Cameron: "Living in the Orkneys must be very similar to being isolated in the BB house (only considerably more scenic)."I may have spotted that Cameron would be very different to the other housemates, but I didn't spot his pure wholesome appeal and winning potential.
Likely future job: Songs of Praise presenter.

Federico: "He's a waiter, and he's packed a pair of handcuffs in his suitcase. That's two blokes from Scotland then."The Scottish bit turned out to be irrelevant, but the handcuffs were a hint to a sparky, unpredictable and off the wall character. Federico couldn't last.
Likely future job: back to being a waiter.

Gos: "He's a chef. It would be impolite to say that he looks like a chef too, so I won't."Generally nice but strangely devoid of personality, Gos didn't really have a hope of winning. Large as life but small of interest.
Likely future job: children's ITV chef.

Jon: "Twin, and seems very sure of himself. That's two blokes from West London then."I spotted the certainty in Jon's outlook on life, but not the endearing geekiness that the nation would take so firmly to its heart. BB4's only star.
Likely future job: I suspect there may be a vacancy for Prime Minister soon.

Justine: "Another twin. Seems overbearingly nice and polite at the moment. Barely registering."Two weeks later Justine still really hadn't registered, and she was out. It seems that being merely nice and inoffensive gets you nowhere on the telly.
Likely future job: I very much doubt that any of us care.

Nush: "What are the chances of having two contestants called Anushka? Has a manically emotional mother. Might win."Can't win now, but Nush did get as far as the penultimate week. Her mother was probably only flustered about the public spotlight on her daughter's sex life.
Likely future job: yoga columnist in Heat magazine.

Ray: "This year's cheeky chappie. I suspect you'll either love him or hate him. I'll give him four weeks."I was right about two of my three comments at least. It seems you love the cheeky chappie, and Ray still has a very good chance of almost winning.
Likely future job: anger management counsellor.

Scott: "What's a normal bloke doing in BB4? Trying to find himself, by the sound of it."It turned out to be Cameron who was on BB4 to find himself, but Scott certainly proved the most normal of the bunch and may well win as a result.
Likely future job: maybe now Radio 4 will want to broadcast that play what he wrote.

Sissy: "Scouse loudmouth and fashion graduate. She's not great, she grates. Needs evicting."You chucked sobbing Sissy out eventually, about three weeks later than I would have done. The house has been a happier and quieter place since she left.
Likely future job: Club 18-30 rep.

Steph: "It's her birthday next week. I bet C4 are more likely to select you if you have a birthday in May, June or July."Looks like Steph barely registered with me at the beginning either, but she's shone through as the most genuine girl in the house ever since.
Likely future job: she's welcome to come and clean my flat any day.

Tania: "Clothes, nails, shopping, labels, fags, yah, darling, ciao. Ciao, hopefully."Just as shallow as I feared, or maybe it was only that I didn't share Tania's overbearing interest in make-up tips and fashion accessories.
Likely future job: cameo role in the next series of Absolutely Fabulous.