"Look, can we all just focus on the poverty?" says Brazil

Brazil has come out united in the fact that it's the country's disgraceful levels of poverty and inequality we should all really be focusing on.

Home to around 23,000 street children, plus 23 other men that no one really considers important or has heard about for that matter, millions of dollars have recently been invested in development and infrastructure that was surely for housing and social programmes and not some giant fun-bowls with added gift-shops.

'It's the worst day of my life.' said Luiz Felipe Scolari, a 65-year-old man of no particular note or undue importance, upon hearing that approximately a quarter of his country's urban population live in favelas, bereft of adequate healthcare and sanitation, and subject to one of the highest murder-rates anywhere on the planet.

'I mean, most of these people have as much to spend on food each week as it might cost to buy, say, a small plastic trumpet.' he added.

'It’s just shocking. I’m devastated. We need to learn how to defend...' said one young lady, tearfully cradling her head in her hands, too distraught to finish her sentence with the words 'people's basic human rights.' presumably.

'We're well aware that roughly 1 in 5 people in Brazil currently live below the poverty line.', said one clearly upset government official as he wept uncontrollably into a pile of Brazilian R$s. 'However,' he continued, 'we're working hard to bring it down to... to 1 in 7.'

great angle - could be expanded? "football? what's that - some kind of game? it's winning the struggle against poverty that interests me" said one ordinary Brazilian, a Mr Scolari, who asked for his current whereabouts not to be reported...

Great expanded sub, perfect deadpan tone throughout. like the nib, but love this! 5 consolation stars, which is more than Scolari & Co will be getting... Tho I guess they still get paid big bucks, no poverty for them. Wonder they'll be doing with their match fees?