Q&A – Why Do I Always Make Enemies?

Daily Inspiration

Q: Why do I always make enemies? No matter how friendly I try to be, people just don’t like me. It’s got to the point where I just create this force field around me to keep people away. I know I’m shy and tend not to look people in the face or speak first because I don’t want to be rejected. Help!

-Desi B.

A: Hi Desi,

I’m sorry to read that you’re feeling so frustrated and friendless. Connecting with others is an innate human drive that we have a need to satisfy. As is true with most things in life, some people are better at this than others. For most, you win some and lose some regarding friends. However, if you always fail to connect, as you have claimed, I tend to think that the problem may lie within you.

You wrote that you always make enemies no matter what you do and, if that’s true, I want you to look inward for the solution to this problem. If everyone reacts in the same negative way to you then, pardon my frankness, it may be you that’s somehow creating this situation by unintentionally sabotaging these encounters. It’s possible that this could be partly caused by how your shyness is interpreted by others. My instincts are also telling me that this force field you’ve created around you may also be responsible for the unfriendliness you get. Other than guessing, I think you’d find some counseling to be beneficial. Getting to the bottom of this through the guidance of a professional listener could change all of this very quickly, Desi.