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Jai is now just over 5 months and quite honestly I don’t know where the time has gone. During those early newborn days it felt like each hour went by so slowly and the evenings always felt drawn out but I guess that’s what sleep deprivation does. As days are getting longer and the weather is warming up, I find myself going out more and thankfully Jai loves it, we’ve had endless lunches, a trip to the zoo, a mini break, shopping sprees and numerous coffees together. He’s starting to develop his own little personality and I absolutely love it, he’s a cheeky, smiley and active little boy and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Naturally, the thought of going back to work in 7 months fills me with dread, I haven’t managed to tear myself away from my little boy for more than a few hours let alone a whole day but I guess as he grows more independent I will learn to leave him in the care of family. I have often read about how lonely maternity leave can be for new mums and thankfully I haven’t felt this so much but I have craved adult company which has left me chewing my husbands ear off as soon as he comes home from work.

My main learning over the past few months have been simple but important ones:

Nothing else matters

I often use this as a hashtag when referring to Jai on social media but I truly believe in this. There isn’t anything else that matters to me more than Jai being happy, I have learnt to walk away from a messy kitchen, cancel plans, leave my hair unwashed and stay in bed if it means Jai is smiling. Over the past 5 months Jai’s had 2 sets of vaccinations, a cold, an ear infection and a temperature, he’s needed me more than ever and I’ve stopped being so hellbent on routine if it means he’s happier.

Get out the house

Our house is currently being renovated so I am living with in laws, it’s crowded at the best of times so I make a conscious effort to get out of the house, get some fresh air and explore new places. I truly believe that babies need to get out, they need to see and hear the outside world and feel fresh air. Jai always sleeps much better in the day and night when he’s been out.

Enjoy every minute

Admittedly, I struggled when Jai was first born. I was completely overwhelmed by everything but as time went by, I’ve enjoyed every moment. When he’s ill he pines for me and when he’s full of beans he’s so energetic it’s incredible. It’s amazing what a change in attitude can do but even when I’m exhausted he manages to make me smile and it all quickly becomes worth it.

Chill Out

In the first few months after having Jai, I felt like I had to play with him every second and ensure he was developing properly. I often felt guilty when I would watch TV and leave him playing on his gym or if I went on my phone while he was playing. I quickly learnt that it’s okay to leave babies to play, they learn to become independent and actually enjoy exploring my themselves. Similar to adults, babies can also get fed up of constant playing, they need their own time but obviously have to be supervised.

My baby boy, Jai, is 2 months old and since he’s been born it’s been crazy. I’m sure any new mom will be able to sympathise with the rollercoaster of emotions you feel after giving birth and that nothing truly prepares you for what your life turns into after having a baby.

Like most pregnant women, I started reading numerous books, blogs and articles about the practical elements of having a baby, we also attended an NCT course where I was fortunate to meet a group of like-minded couples all in the same boat. We came away from the course slightly nervous about the birth but well equipped with enough knowledge we’d need to look after our newborns, or so we thought.

Here’s my list of the things that people fail or choose not to mention when having a baby.

Emotions

After giving birth the world seemed hazy, it wasn’t until after this haze that I felt an overwhelming wave of emotion. For me the emotions were made up of feeling incredibly tired, having a ridiculous amount of love for a tiny human being, feeling uncomfortable from the waist down and thinking that I wanted to get my life into some sort of routine as quick as possible. I remember seeing my parents for the first time and just crying and not really knowing why, suddenly your life changes forever and you need to keep yourself together whilst making sure you do everything right for this tiny human you’ve created. The reality is that there is no right or wrong and everything you read may or may not work because each baby is different, as odd as it seems you do have to let your instinct guide you – as a rule of thumb if it feels right then it probably is.

Sleep

When I was pregnant everyone used to say get as much rest as you can cause once the baby is here you won’t get any. In reality, there is only so much rest you can take without feeling incredibly lethargic and once I entered my third trimester I was finding it uncomfortable to sleep without having to wake up for a piddle everyone couple of hours or panic myself everytime I rolled onto my back. I remember not sleeping at all the first night in the hospital and survived on 3 hours sleep over 5 days when Jai was born, I have never known exhaustion like it. Sleep deprivation did get easier once Jai learnt the difference between day and night so thankfully I didn’t feel like a complete zombie for too long.

Breastfeeding

From when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, what I didn’t know was how difficult it would be. I managed to breastfeed a little after Jai was born but soon began getting incredibly sore as he was not latching properly. After watching endless videos and receiving advice from breastfeeding councillors and charities I eventually got the hang of it and feeding got much more easier. Fortunately I managed to persevere through tears, soreness, sleeplessness and a very hungry baby, but I realise this isn’t the case for everyone and think it’s important to feed your baby the way that works for you. The advice I would give to any new mum who would like to breastfeed is to keep calm and patient, take your time and remember that both you and your newborn need to get used to each other and this may not happen overnight.

Since Jai was born time has passed incredibly quickly, he’s no longer classed as a newborn and everyday he learns something different which is incredible. My love for him grows stronger everyday and his smile melts my heart which makes all the above very easy to forget.