“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.05): Mama said there’d be gays like this

Like any good PFLAG mom, Mama Rizzoli is doing all she can to help elect a politician with a platform she supports. Same-sex marriage? Gay adoption? The right to remain Sexy McBadass? Nope, the right to healthier school lunches. Well, baby steps. But at least, as her daughter astutely notes, Mama R is using glitter to make her signs. Next step, chanting “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” in Boston Common.

Jane saunters into Maura’s place in the morning with nary a knock as Mama R is glitterbombing and Maura is shopping therapizing. Guess someone got her house key back after the whole experimentation with beards from the last couple of weeks. Maura is unpacking new scuba gear, but mostly just being adorable.

Jane gives her girlfriend that, this is why I love you you crazy cute thing look. And then she finds Maura has also purchased safari gear for an “Outback lady walk.” Right, if there isn’t a lesbian safari tour company called Outback Lady Walk already, I call it. This is gonna be huge.

Just then who should come into the house (also without knocking, which Jane notes defensively – only she can do that), but Giovanni. Oh, G, how I’ve missed you and your ability to bring out the LLBFF in our ladies. He tells Maura and Jane they look hot, because they do. And then gives his obligatory, “If you two ever decide to bat for the other team.” To which Jane replies quickly, “Not on your team.” Because of The Gay. They’re gay. They’re totally gay for each other. And other gay things. Like tennis. And softball. And solving crimes.

Mama R has enlisted Giovanni’s help with her campaigning. He has made a T-shirt for the occasion to, which reads, “You Want This Dud.” Oh, Giovanni, never change. While he turns his attention away from the LLBFFs to hit on Mama R, Jane realizes what all of Maura’s purchases are really about. She is stressing about her long-lost birth mother, Hope. Yeah, remember that subplot? I know, almost forgot what with all the disposable Beards of the Week distracting us and all. Good thing our girls found some razors and shaved those duds off this week.

Maura says she hasn’t been thinking about Hope, but Jane knows better. She knows all her shopping is just a way to distract her from finding her birth mom. Maura spouts some statistics about the percentage of adopted children who want to find their birth parents, because when in emotional crisis nothing comforts her more than statistics. Then on the way to the crime scene, Jane realizes that her girlfriend doth protest too much.

In one of those, ah-ha I am totally onto you moments, she pushes Maura up against the dumpster with one finger and corners her into telling the truth. Something tells me this is not the first time Jane has pushed Maura up against something using only one finger – and also not the last time. Jane then tells Maura she’d better fess up or she’ll break out into hives from lying. Because she also knows Maura’s unique skin chemistry intimately. So intimately.

Maura confesses that, indeed, she has found out who Hope was. But she doesn’t know what she wants to do with the information. Luckily, she has a case to distract her. The team has found a young woman, badly beaten with her hands burned in a dumpster. Maura immediately strips down. Hey, you’d do the same thing is Det. Jane Rizzoli just pushed you up against a dumpster. She puts on her handy Tyvex suit and then proceeds to dumpster dive. Which is also a naughty euphemism for what I imagine those two do together often after Jane gets, um, pushy.

Back in Maura’s office, she’s online when Jane walks in – again without knocking. Maura says she was just checking the weather but, as we all know, Jane knows Maura better. She goes to check her laptop and Maura snaps at her. The Adorable Bickersons are back, bitches! But then Jane keeps pushing and Maura admits she was checking out her mother’s Wikipedia page. Yes, her mother has a Wikipedia page. Don’t be surprised, this is the birth mother of Dr. Maura Isles after all.

Jane checks it out and then makes the face of a woman who realizes the face of the woman she loves is smiling back at her, only in a slightly older form.