It's all the things, half the time, rather than half the things all the time

Dating and Blogs

I try to stay somewhat anonymous when blogging, not just for my own comfort but for the comfort of anyone that might want to have something to do with me. Call it old fashion but I think there’s something in not knowing everything about a person when you first start dating them. It is convenient to know they prefer beards, (or they don’t) and they like to sing during lovemaking, but it can also lead to people like me trying way too hard to avoid things that someone blogged in a moment of frustration, or meaning they didn’t like the particular county music associated with a former boyfriend, rather than country music in general.
I have a friend that blogs regularly and is very open, and I would assume honest about how she feels, what makes her happy, and what doesn’t. I asked her once when were were talking, “how do you work this, where I know fairly intimate things about you that you haven’t told me? ” She said, it’s out there, if you read my blog, then you know those things about me, and they’re ok to talk about. I choose not to talk about some of them. I’ve known less about some fairly long term girlfriends than I know about this woman, and while it’s interesting, I guess if someone wants to know about me directly, they should ask, or just hang out with me, and it’s likely over the course of time, I’ll tell them. I’m not the overly quiet sort.

So is there a moral obligation to information gleaned online? Is it ok to “make a move” one someone because they just dumped (or worse are about to dump) their current love interest? As you may imagine, I’m not overly comfortable with social custom and mores, but somehow I’m not comfortable knowing too many things about someone. It isn’t the comforting, “I know just what she likes” but more, “I hope I don’t do any of those…” There’s also the mystery and excitement of learning about someone, especially someone you don’t know well. If you know too many things, you leave a lot of that mystery on the table.

I’ve always wanted to have girlfriends, “tell me everything” about themselves, but somehow, I think I wanted them to tell it to me, not just publish it for the world to see. So do I stop reading blogs of women that I’m interested in? It probably won’t happen, because even though I feel like it’s not an edge, it’s hard to convince myself of that late in the evening, when I’m wondering if she’ll call, or if she’s busy with someone else.