Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?It's swell to have a stiffie,It's divine to own a dickFrom the tiniest little tadgerTo the world's biggest prick.

So three cheers for your Willie or John ThomasHooray for your one-eyed trouser snake!Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,Your Percy or your cock--You can wrap it up in ribbons,You can slip it in your sock.But don't take it out in publicOr they will stick you in the dockAnd you won't come back.

When I was a freshman in college, there were a few of us in my computer science class who would arrive about half an hour beforehand, sit in the hallway, do homework, and generally BS about stuff.

So one day, the token female (this was a CS class for majors) shows up, and says that her Women's Studies prof gave them a homework assignment: to find as many synonyms as possible for male and female genitalia, as well as the act of intercourse.

Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?