Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, religion, sexual orientation or gender.

It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

Abuse is a repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over an intimate partner. These are behaviors that physically harm, cause fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of abuse can be going on at any one time.

Think of the wheel as a diagram of the tactics your abusive partner uses to keep you in the relationship. While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence. These are the abusive acts that are more overt and forceful, and often the intense acts that reinforce the regular use of other subtler methods of abuse.

​Bill of Rights for Survivors of Domestic Abuse

I will not be blamed or shamed for having been a victim.

I have the right to be happy.

I have the right to be free of all forms of abuse; physical, mental, emotional, psychological, or sexual.

I have the right to feel my feelings.

I have the right to take care of myself.

I have the right to have my needs met.

I have the right to make choices.

I have the right to be loved in a healthy way.

I have the right to live without fear.

I have the right to express myself.

I have the right to forgive myself for things in the past.

About Domestic Violence:

Until the mid-1970's, no one talked much about abuse. We were taught to think that criminal violence occurred on the street or in taverns and bars. Home was thought to be a safe place.

Now we know that violence in the home is very frequent. More than 2 million American women a year are physically attacked by their male partners. During the first half of the 1980's, the deaths of nearly 17,000 people resulted from intimate partner violence, with women 2x as likely to be victims of fatal partner violence as men. Violence between partners happens in all groups in society. No group is immune.

Violence in a relationship is never okay and never justified. A "little slap" is violence. So is pushing, shoving, punching, kicking, biting, choking, burning, throwing things, threatening violence, or forcing a partner to engage in sexual activities against her or his will. All of these things, along with injury with weapons, have happened to victims of domestic violence.

If violence or a threat of violence of any kind has happened more than once or twice, it is extremely likely to happen again. It may get more frequent or more severe. If this describes you and your relationship, you are at risk.

Safety for Victims

Safety Planning is important when Domestic Violence is present. There are many safety measures you can put into place whether you are choosing to leave an abusive relation, have already left an abusive relationship or if you are staying in the relationship. No matter the reason, no matter the situation, New Day Shelter is here to help and support you. We can assist you in completing a personalized safety plan anytime. Call to schedule an appointment with an advocate or discuss over the phone at 715-682-9565 or 800-924-4132.

TIPS TO CONSIDERSafety Planning Means:1. Being as prepared as possible for the safety risks in your life.2. Feeling that you are capable and resilient.3. Strengthening your connection with people in your life who can help you feel safe and strong.4. Identifying resources to assist in safety means.

Goals of Safety Planning:1. Validate the need for a safety plan.2. Generate strategies that will help to avoid or manage unsafe situations.3. Understanding abuse and options available through education.4. Creating a positive and strengths based support system.

Leaving can be an especially dangerous time as abusers often strike back when they believe their victim will be leaving them. Here are some tips to increase safety.

Open a savings account in your own name to establish or increase your independence.

Open a post office box where you can receive mail unknown to your abuser. If not a post office box, a trusted friend, family member, etc.

Leave or have someone assist you in leaving: money, extra keys, copies of important documents (birth certificate, marriage license, Social security Cards, etc.) and extra clothes with someone you trust or in a bag so you can leave quickly.

Determine who you can stay with temporarily. Have a list of people and/or agencies you can go to for help.

Get a prepaid cell phone to make calls that are untraceable by abuser or use a phone line that your abuser does not have access to.

Practice how to get out of your home safely, if possible.

AVOID rooms with little exits if you feel an explosive incident is about to occur.

Ask a neighbor or someone you trust to call the police if they hear a disturbance or have not seen you for a period of time.

Devise a code word or signal to use when unsafe. This word can be to alert others that you are unsafe and need the police or you can use with your children so they know to find safety and/or get help.

USE YOUR INSTINCT AND JUDGEMENT. If a situation is very dangerous and you cannot leave, consider any action that might calm things down.