Findus Lasagne linked to record Olympic medal haul

An unbelievable story emerged today linking the amazing haul of UK medals in the London Olympics with the horsemeat scandal.
A keen eyed journalist noticed that both Mo Farrah and Jessica Ennis had referred to the pressure of heavy training in the lead up to the Olympics resulting in a high number of ready meals being consumed, which included many Findus pasta dishes.
Sir Bradley Wiggins was unaware of having eaten any of the said products, insisting that his wife always supplied him with 'good nutritious chow'. Mrs Wiggins declined to comment on rumours that she regularly shopped at Tesco or Aldi, and cut corners in home cooking due to her addiction to afternoon TV programs, particularly 'The Alan Titchmarsh Show' and 'Deal or no Deal'.
The British Olympic Committee confirmed that they do not currently test UK athletes for Horsemeat content, in line with the UK food industry policy of not checking any imported meats.