Nothing Will Happen To Kanye West For Trying To Steal A Camera While Punching A Man

So remember the other day when Kanye West arrived at LAX and assaulted a photographer while trying to steal his camera? Turns out when you’re famous you can just give the city money and they’ll be like, “Crime? I don’t see any crime…” while tossing your police report into the shredder. (See, also: Municipal blowjobs; Lohan, Lindsay) TMZ reports:

LAPD robbery detectives are investigating the photog’s allegation that Kanye tried to steal his camera — but our sources say that dog won’t hunt. The D.A. will NEVER charge Kanye with felony attempted robbery, because there’s no proof he tried to pilfer the camera at LAX.
We’re told cops will send the attempted robbery file to the D.A. and they expect it will be rejected within days.
The next step — the file goes to the L.A. City Attorney for a possible misdemeanor criminal battery prosecution. But here’s why that won’t happen. We’re told Kanye is willing to ante up some cash to make the case go away, and it’s perfectly legal. It’s called a civil compromise and it’s done everyday.

Of course, this probably explains why just before he attacks the guy Kanye says this is going to cost him $250,000 which makes me wonder how much it would cost to just straight murder somebody. Or at least hunt a man, the most dangerous game of all. Because, let’s be honest, you can only buy so many mansions and giant gold bidets to clean the piss off Kim Kardashian before you start getting bored. We’re born hunters, Kanye. Hunters… (Did I forget to say the prey should be Justin Bieber? The prey should be Justin Bieber.)