The skinny-tie crowd is getting serious about fully automated cars. You see, robot-driven automobiles are going to help save us from global warming.The notion, as outlined in a recent article in BusinessWeek, is that by turning over all driving control to an autonomous "car-bot" (the article quotes a GM engineer who says "they are more polite than people"), crashes will become all but nonexistent-allowing automakers to create super-lightweight vehicles (i.e., minivans with the weight of a Honda Fit) boasting outstanding fuel efficiency and, of course, a modest carbon footprint. The article claims such auto-autos will be "commonplace" within 20 years.Forget the debate about anthropogenic global warming for a moment. To me, the more unpalatable aspect of this scenario is this: Are you really ready to give up your steering wheel?Automakers have long discussed the idea. In the late 1950s, General Motors produced a short film that showed a family of the future taking off for a cross-country drive in their sleek, spaceshippy "Firebird II." The film shows the driver, before entering the highway, calling up a sort of control tower on the radio for clearance-and then turning over the reins of his car to an on-board computer that then does the driving for him. And just when did these filmmakers of the 1950s foresee such a future? Why, way out there in nineteen hundred and seventy-six. Of course, when that fateful year finally arrived, our nation's roads were remarkably devoid of bubble-topped, computerized spaceships. Instead, what your average 1976 Flash Gordon was driving was a Ford Pinto-a car lacking any rocket exhausts but one that could, as you'll recall, be prompted to belch flames if tapped on its rear bumper.Today, though, in the era of the iPhone and the Predator drone, the arrival of autocars seems less like science fiction and more like a scientific certainty. But what will driving be like when HAL 9000 takes the wheel?"Driving will be more enjoyable," say the automation experts. "You'll be able to read a book while cruising down the highway." Well, obviously these people have never studied Los Angeles traffic-where it's already an everyday occurrence to see a driver scything through the morning crush while simultaneously turning the pages of "Six Short Weeks to Screenwriting Stardom!""Driving will be safer," say the experts. "Computers will ensure that smart cars always maintain a safe distance between each other." Uh, just a moment. In the shockingly brief amount of time I've spent writing this column, my PC has already crashed twice. Now just imagine 3000 morning commuters in their state-of-the-art, four-wheeled Intels, barreling down the freeway at 70 mph in perfect, computerized formation, when suddenly, for no apparent reason, the lead car's robot coughs up the Blue Screen of Death. Personally, I don't want to be at the site of the steaming wreckage when Bill Gates arrives to say, "Perhaps you folks would like to try our new SmartCar 2020 upgrade?"Aye, there's the rub. For most drivers, particularly enthusiasts like you and me, climbing behind the wheel isn't about being able to "multitask" on the move. It's about the sun on your brow, the G-joy of mashing down on a 300-horsepower gas pedal, the tickle on a twisty road of 10,000 synapses firing in a neural symphony. It's about holding that steering wheel and being able to turn it ourselves-wherever we want, whenever we want.Which is to say, I'm fine with having more computers in my car. But it'll be a cold day before the salesman gets me to pay for power Windows.