A karate chop to a human face forever

The Blazing Evil Art of World of Darkness: Inferno

Demon: The Fallen (2002) was the last of the major systems released for White Wolf’s World of Darkness. The main book was followed by ten sourcebooks, the last of which, Days of Fire, was released in 2003. Then White Wolf blew up the World Of Darkness and started a new system and timeline. Seven years later, World of Darkness: Inferno was released, relegating the full system to a side note of demonic darkness. It’s a pitiful end for the demons and angels game that never really got off the ground. Even the title of the newer book is a little confusing, because the new system is technically called Chronicles of Darkness and the old system was World of Darkness. Thankfully, this new book is packed full of just as much evil artwork!

Zack: Did you ever play Demon?

Steve: Nope. I have a copy of it somewhere, but that was at the tail end of me and Keith playing World of Darkness. Jamie borrowed my Vampire books because he said he was going to run a campaign and then he never returned them and I was so mad I refused to invite him to my Earthdawn campaign which caused a whole thing where he threw a cake at me.

Steve: But that’s a boring story.

Zack: No, Steve.

Zack: No.

Zack: You are telling me about Jamie throwing a cake at you.

Steve: There’s not much to tell.

Steve: I wouldn’t let him play in my Earthdawn campaign, he wanted to make a nethermancer based on Riddick and I told him no because he hadn’t returned my books and I was sick of him making characters based on Riddick.

Zack: Then he threw the cake?

Steve: Well he called me a big baby bitch and I said his mom is the big bitch and that set him off.

Zack: Where did the cake come from?

Steve: It was his sister’s birthday cake. It looked like a giant hamburger, only like half of it was missing.

Zack: Oh, well, at least it was a leftover cake.

Steve: I think it was supposed to be refrigerated because when it hit me it exploded like a waterballoon full of whipped cream. It went down my shirt, up my nose, in my ear. It was crazy. I was so mad.

Steve: Then we got banned from Jamie’s house for like a year because of that. We had to play our Robotech campaign on his back porch that summer.

Zack: At least you were enjoying the fresh air.

Steve: Eh, Jamie lived down the road from a water treatment plant so the air was pretty much farts.

Zack: Standard tabletop gamer biome.

Zack: How did the Earthdawn campaign go with Jamie?

Steve: We really needed a nethermancer to round out the party.

Zack: Guess you shouldn’t have left him in Butcher Bay.

Zack: Solid cover, have to say. Nice hell creature.

Steve: I’ve looked through this a bit, but I’ll admit I haven’t read nearly all of it. This one seems much more focused on demonic possession than Demon: The Falllen.

Steve: That one was more like that old Christopher Walken movie Prophecy with literal demons and angels on earth.

Zack: Oh, you mean the Elias Koteas vehicle, “The Prophecy.” Didn’t they make three or four of those?

Steve: Five, I think.

Zack: Those were the days of the mid-90s when a weird horror fantasy movie could do decent box office and get 4 straight to video sequels.

Steve: Nowadays it just gets two to three seasons on Netflix and costs 200 million dollars somehow.

Zack: Hell yes, reboot the Prophecy. Are you listening Amazon? Spend some of that insane Frodo money on 10 episodes of angels and demons killing each other.

Steve: Well this is a dang depressing way to start.

Zack: Of all things, this makes me think of Deities & Demigods and how that had hit points and armor class for metaphorical religious figures.

Zack: This is doing the same thing, but with suicidal ideation.

Steve: That’s nothing new though dude. Bad thoughts and unwanted feelings = demons is a very old idea.

Zack: Yeah, but bad thoughts can’t take damage from a consecrated sword.

Steve: Says someone who clearly never battled a case of the Mondays with Zulfiqar.

Zack: His wife told him he had to deal with his demons, she didn’t know there was literally a demon that deals him pills in the bathroom.

Steve: What it’s really saying is about society and how the demons are all around us waiting to prey upon our weakness.

Steve: I learned about them in my favorite Dungeon Master’s Guide: The Bible.

Zack: Too many splatbooks for The Bible.

Steve: Actually, Old Testament is definitely for DMs only. New Testament is the Player’s Guide where you think you get to be a hero even though the DM is just going to kill your whole party.

Zack: That makes the Koran the Psionics Guide that one guy everybody wanted to play a wizard brings to the game and he makes a psionicist, which is cool, pretty much like a wizard, but everyone hates him for it because it’s not quite the same.

Steve: I don’t know if that’s offensive to muslims or to everyone else.

Zack: Yes.

Zack: Oh no…

Zack: I am getting unpleasant One Night in Chyna vibes from this image.

Steve: EW! No!

Steve: That’s just unfortunate circle placement on a fallen angel.

Zack: She did battle in the squared circle and she was an angel.

Zack: Some would say her time with D-Generation X might represent her Biblical fall from the graces of the wrestling godhead, Vince McMahon.

Steve: Who is Lucifer in this scenario?

Zack: I’m just going to say Kevin Nash. In all scenarios. He is Lucifer.

Steve: And also Super Shredder!

Steve: I do not like this one.

Zack: Cursed image 666.

Zack: This guy would be perfect for one of those moments in a horror movie where it’s quiet and you just see something terrible.

Zack: Like a character walks into the kitchen late at night to get something out of the fridge, stands there half asleep, and this guy slowly waddles into the room and licks his lips horribly.

Steve: No. Nope. I do not want to see that.

Zack: No screaming or attacking or anything. It’s just that horrible moment like in Communion with the alien peeking around the door.

Steve: Or The Shining with that dog man.

Zack: Exactly. Something super wrong, you don’t want to see it, but not directly threatening.

Steve: I think it would be even more terrifying to see this guy at the gym working out, getting buff. He’s already buff, but getting buffer.

Steve: Or shopping at the grocery store. A whole cart full of those rawhide things.