Thursday, May 9, 2019

Question: Greetings in the wonderful name of our Lord Jesus. I read your article titled, 'Does God Still Guide Supernaturally Through Dreams To Find One's Future Husband?'. What does it mean to dream of driving a car in a muddy road and the mud keeps rising up almost covering the car. As I was trying to drive through this situation the car breaks down, tried starting it several times but it was not working.

Also in the second dream I was in my ex husband’s house, I have never been in his house since he moved out and left me and our kids but in my dream I found myself in his house.

I await your response in anticipation, God bless you!

Answer: Greetings in Jesus wonderful name!

Car is used to travel from one place to another, used almost daily as much as possible. It takes a family usually to go together in a Car. It is a vehicle used for movement in life, with someone usually the husband driving the vehicle for the whole family. The psalmist prays to God, "Rescue me from the miry mud; don't let me sink. Let me be rescued from those who hate me, and from the deep waters." (Psa 69:14). The mud rising up to sink are the work of the sin nature in the human heart which the devil uses to cause discord within the family.

So you see from the Bible, Jesus clearly spoke about divorce saying, "9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. 11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”" (Mark 10:9-12). In other words, Jesus considers a person to have committed adultery when he or she against the law and conscience separate themselves from the spouse that God has joined in marriage for any invalid reason.

So when you were driving I do not know what your ex-husband was doing when he was the one who was supposed to drive the car of your family. But, in spite you were trying to drive the car which means you were willing to continue to work towards reconciliation and make the family life to work out in spite of the muddy sins, negative emotions, hurts, hate that were trying to sink the car from moving forward. You have come to a situation where your husband might have totally left you in the lurch, when you were trying to start the family life and continue with out the break up with your Ex. But then you were not able to sustain it because the car was sinking in the mud and it covered the whole car.

So God was trying to convey to you that it is not your fault that the break up has happened, and do not want you to feel self-condemned or grieve for what has happened (Rom 8:1). It was not your fault, you tried your best and still were not able to salvage the marriage.

God wants to tell you that even though you try to reconstruct the old marriage you failed, do not look back to go on to your Ex if you have been divorced already and have moved on with your life.

In 1 Corinthians 7: 10-11, Paul states that should a woman divorce her husband, she must remain unmarried or reconcile with her husband. But if you have already divorced him as he has not been able to respect your belief and faith in the institution of marriage and have unfaithfully wandered in infidelity due to allowing external influence to come in to your marriage, he has already decided to never come back again.

In the New Applied Commentary Thomas Hale writes regarding 1 Cor 7:15-16 saying, "15 If the unbelieving spouse wants to leave, then the believing spouse should let the believer leave. Why? Because God wants a husband and wife to live in peace. If the unbelieving spouse is always quarreling with the believing spouse, then let the marriage end! God is not pleased with a marriage full of strife. 16 The believing spouse must continually hope and pray that the unbelieving spouse will become a Christian and be saved (see 1 Peter 3:1-2). But if reconciliation is not possible, then the believing spouse should not force the unbelieving spouse to stay."

So even if you find yourself in a situation where your Ex-husband wants to have you back, if you have already divorced and have remarried then you must not return back by annulling your present marriage even according to the Old Testament standard (Deut 24:1-4), how much more in the New Testament where there is no justification given in the Bible for divorce for reasons like incompatibility, lack of love, or differing career goals should be careful enough not to again break another marriage in order to return back to the old.

For a born-again couple, "constructive desertion," which would be when a husband so brutalizes his wife that they say is impossible to live with him any longer; or when a wife has so harassed, or brutalized her husband that they feel it becomes impossible for him to stay with her, it cannot be a valid reason to give divorce because God wants his children to get reconciled based on His love for each one which they should be able to show one another if both of them are really born again, or else they will receive chastisement from the Lord until they repent to turn back and walk in His will and ways again (1 John 3:13-14; 4:7-10, 20-21; Matt 18:21-30). Such reason cannot be valid for a divorce with a Christian couple, because the Lord has told his children to forgive and forget the debt of all those who are debtors to them, and only then they will be able to expect God Himself to be favorably disposed toward them (Matt 6:12, 14-15; 18:22).

As God's rule for marriage is for life, divorce and remarriage are not permitted, except for adultery or complete desertion, or "Pauline privilege" which can be applied when relating to a unbeliever who deceives and wants to leave the family because of lack of faith as we have seen above, and that is the rule the church should stick to.

I don't know if you have stayed alone all these times without divorce or remarriage and have looked for reconciliation back (1 Cor 7:10-11), and also if your husband wants to return back to live with you with a changed heart, then you can prayerfully consider if it will be good for you and your kids to feel secure and be peaceful with that option. But this should be prayerfully done with great care and also with the direction of the elders of the family and the Church, because if he is not a changed man, there is the same risk and danger involved again. But God can work through a repentant person if they have willingly humbled themselves before God, so that God could restore the broken walls of the family or restore the car stuck in the mud to be refurbished and used for His Glory.

So God understands desertion in your case, and He wants you to carefully consider and move on where you are in life now and not return back to where you got stuck in life before, because you cannot trust the old car as it did not restart but instead got completely drowned in the mud, and God by His grace and mercy have supernaturally made you to survive through those hard times. So live the rest of your life in the place where you are planted already, and stay faithful to the Lord who has stood by your life all these days and who will never leave you nor forsake you till the end of your journey on earth (Heb 13:5-6). Praise the Lord, Glory to God!

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