The Magic Continues…

March 13th. Catie’s birthday. She should be 22 years old. I should be sending her packages in college. Instead I brought ladybugs to her grave. And I watched the ladybug pinwheel spin and spin, like she was saying hi to me.

This year was a little different than past ones. Maybe it’s because I know Larry’s with her. Usually the day before her birthday is worse than the actual day. I originally thought I just wanted to be by myself today. I had offers for lunch and dinner, but I said “no.”

Until yesterday morning. Because I received a wonderful gift from a friend of Catie’s. A friend name JK Rowling.

I had sent Jo (yes, we got to call her Jo) some chapters of my book about Catie, hoping she would have time to read them and comment about them. Maybe give me a blurb. I knew it was a long shot and I wasn’t surprised when I received a lovely letter explaining that Jo just didn’t have time to do this. She was inundated with requests. And I completely understood.

Instead, Jo sent me a signed copy of the Casual Vacancy, an item that we will auction off at the Catie Hoch Foundation Homecoming Celebration in September. I was thrilled. And when I sent the thank you note, I asked if it would be at all possible for me to use a quote from one of Jo’s e-mails to Catie on the back of the book.

Early yesterday morning , (around 5 a.m.) on March 12th, usually a horrible day for me, I received an e-mail from Jo’s assistant. She said that Jo would be delighted to have me use the quote “Catie left footprints on my heart.” on the back of the book cover. I couldn’t believe it. Jo once again worked her magic.

Two hours later I called my sister and said “Let’s go to dinner.”

So this morning I ran errands and went to the chiropractor. I went to see Silver Linings Playbook by myself, which was perfect. I loved the movie. And I bought an apple pie (Catie’s favorite birthday dessert!)

And tonight – good food, good wine and maybe some champagne. Happy Birthday Catie. I love you!

There are so many ways that families cope with pediatric cancer and your blog is not only magical and healing but also gives others a model for living fully while grieving and healing.

I thought that you and other readers might find this particular way of coping with pediatric brain cancer — by an older sister moving and useful. It’s from part of an interview of Sasha Hemon, a Bosnian American novelist and now memoirist who lives in Chicago.

His memoir is called “The Book of My Lives” and it’s his first non-fiction book since he became a novelist in 2000.

On Mingus, the imaginary brother and blue alien on the book’s cover, whom his daughter Ella invented to cope with the death of her younger sister Isabel

“She came up with Mingus because Mingus allowed her to tell stories to herself and us — incomplete, unfinished, rambling stories that allowed her to process the difficult experience of her sister’s illness and then death.

I understood, watching her and listening to her, that it was by coming up with these stories featuring Mingus that she was trying to understand what was happening. So for instance, Mingus would have a tumor — my little daughter, Isabel, she had a brain tumor, a very malignant one — and so we talked about these things and she would bear witness, Ella would. And so then she would come up with Mingus having a tumor, and then he would go to the hospital and then he would be better in two weeks.[…]

Has pediatric cancer increased since we stopped using baby aspirin? Catie is in paradise and you will see her again. My heart breaks for you as my youngest child is 22 also. Heaven is filled with souls of all ages. My loved one and I discussed two silver dimes, I mistakenly placed in a soda machine. He said to me, if you find silver dimes which will be rare, that means I am there. I have found three so far.