Wednesday, 28 March 2012

"The CPS say the majority of the cases they deal with involve young girls who know their attacker and drink is often involved. They say this leads to problems with jury members' perceptions and prejudices." From http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17487519

I want my daughter to grow up in a world where we teach boys that rape is wrong in every circumstance. Not one where we teach girls that wearing a short skirt or drinking too much, is asking for it.

Monday, 26 March 2012

Tonight I switched on the TV to see another over-made-up starlet in a tweed skirt, pulled tight at the waist, seductively dip her ‘crunch to pack a punch’ bread into a runny egg. And promptly switched it off again.

Cookery programmes. All desperately trying to be cool, all with a book to accompany the series and now on

Every

Bloody

Night.

One good cook a week is enough for me (ooh err). But now there’s one every night and they’re all too thin, too groomed and too perfectly scripted.And don’t get me started on the camera angles (all that zoom isn't good for me labyrinthitis).

And talking to someone on the other side of the room? What’s that about? HEY LOVE, WE’RE OVER ‘ERE!

Monday, 19 March 2012

I can cope with people leaving, moving on, usually to bigger and better things. In fact I’m usually pleased. If I like someone I always want them to do well. So they leave and I just carry on as I am, plodding along, ready to welcome in the next person.

Everyone is replaceable, no one is indispensable. No matter how good they were, we survived without them before and we’ll survive without them again.

After all, the next day you will wake up, you will go to work and things are 99% the same. This could be someone else’s big chance to shine.

But for this week, we're a group of slightly batty women floating happily on our hope filled sea.Rudderless.

Like someone came and stole the steering wheel but the foot’s still on the pedal and until the fog clears we really have no idea in which direction we're heading.

So I’m going to bury my head in the sand and hum loudly. Then I’m going to give myself a good slap and get on with it.

Winning!

I hate goodbyes, I’d much rather say hello.

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”― Charles M. Schulz

Monday, 5 March 2012

I’m a costume drama pap and I have, on many previous occasions, gone in search of houses-made-famous-by-the-BBC.Andrew Davies’s adaptation of Pride & Prejudice has a lot to answer for; I even considered getting married at Lyme Park.

Luckily, a National Trust membership and a car gets you access to most of the houses you see in TV dramas and films. But not this one……

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Longbourn - The Bennetts

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To get this picture I had to drag my other half on a 12 mile hike armed only with an OS map and a couple of cereal bars. It’s a private house and I had to get a leg up to peer over the wall for this shot. Worth it though wasn’t it?

On another occasion I tagged along with a reporter friend on the pretence of ‘work experience’ and tried to gatecrash Paul Scholes’ wedding so I could get a shot of the Beckhams, the Nevilles and Sir Ryan Giggs.

But my sister is MUCH worse. She drives around whole counties looking for houses that match the one she’s cut out of an OK magazine photo shoot. Well she did once anyway, it took all day and I was with her (for moral support).

Yep, him again.

She never did find his house or meet him, but my brother got to (at a fan club party my sister dragged him to so she didn’t look sad). HA.

Thursday, 1 March 2012

We got the electron card, we had babies so got on first and we had sunglasses to block out the orange glare.

Travelling with you isn’t a struggle anymore, so we’ve dumped you for RYANAIR.

Oh and it was tough, really tough. But I made some notes (it's only fair) and here are my recommendations for RYANAIR.

·Air Conditioned Check-in…..

…….Cos when you’re wearing your flip-flops in your boots, cargo pants over your skinny jeans, with your swimwear underneath, a vest, two t-shirts, your hoody and your coat – the last thing you need (and I don’t CARE if it’s February) is a heated check-in area. Two hundred people sweating like a fat lasses at a dance just to save a few quid.

Ryanair – if you are going to push DOWN the baggage allowance, at least turn UP the air-con.

So where’d you put the stuff in your hand (cos I ain’t getting up and down 10 times when I’m sitting in the window seat)? Under the seat in front of you of course!

(Slight problem there, on take-off I lost the water bottle (several rows back) and gained some crusty ends of a sandwich and an empty can)

Ryanair - Bring. The nets. Back.

·At least sell me a fake Gucci……..

………Call me a traditionalist but I’m used to looking at a catalogue and then waiting for a trolley to politely head my way offering me perfume. What I didn’t expect was a hawker (cunningly disguised as a flight attendant) flashing his wears like he'd walked straight off a costa-del-sol beach.

Ryanair - If you’re gonna sell goods at every opportunity ("you look worried, can I offer you some imitation fags for take-off sir?"), at least show me some fake Ray-ban’s or a knock-off Gucci handbag with a sparkly clasp.

·Sell your brand ideas to local councils…..

……….cos there’s a lot they could learn from your ability to exploit every opportunity to improve your reputation. I’m talking fanfares here. When you 'land on time' with Ryanair a full-on trumpet fanfare plays, with a message reminding you that Ryanair lands on time more than anyone else – and don’t believe a word you read in the Daily Mail.

Councils – listen and learn. I’m recommending a fanfare every time a cheery bureaucrat answers the phone within 3 rings, DEALS with it, and doesn’t pass it on...and on...and on...and on....

Ryanair - Sell councils that fanfare, make some money and watch Council satisfaction ratings take off...