Be Me or Do Me Bingo: Charlie Sheen, Rihanna, Anti-Social Media and the Celebrity Meltdown

This is cheating slightly, since Charlie Sheen was one of the major inspirations for the chapter, but he’s the gift that keeps on giving. From Chapter 14: The Full Chernobyl:

“The other, more common, and much funnier kind of meltdown is the one that occurs after a succession of smaller incidents and years of odd behavior. These have a higher likelihood of being born out of a celebrity-specific combination of sub-stance abuse, a career that requires all emotional responses to have an audience, and simply being an entitled asshole. Since no one feels right cheering on an obviously crazy person having a hard time of it, it’s the overpaid assholes with the fried brains having a bad year (or succession of them) that capture the public’s attention the most.”

***

“The Ranter. When you get past the racial epithets, the Ranter can be hilariously entertaining in that “crazy uncle who shows up to every family wedding” kind of way. You can at least count on him to come up with new and exciting epithets, born out of his own rage, entitlement, and drug-addled brain.”

Also, just a smidgen from Chapter 4: Attention-Whoring:

“Unfortunately, it’s only a small step from this to drunkenly ranting at practically anyone who offends a star, leading to long, vowel-light rants about un-named “H8ers” trying to bring him down, as if this was all court intrigue on the Island Kingdom of Dyslexia or something. This will inevitably be followed up with the drunken posting of pictures of the star flipping the bird at imaginary enemies or eating food off the floor.”

***

“Male stars can’t really afford to be this introspective—again, because Hollywood can be remarkably traditional, especially about gender stuff—so they tend instead to resort to outlandish douchebaggery to keep the public aware of them.”

Charlie Sheen Trashes Rihanna on Twitter After She Refuses to Meet His Fiancée

“so, I took my gal out to dinner last night with her best friends for her Bday. we heard Rihanna was present as well. I sent a request over to her table to introduce my fiancé Scotty to her, as she is a huge fan (personally I couldn’t pick her out of a line-up at gunpoint)” the less-than-kind rant began. “well, the word we received back was that there were too many paps outside and it just wasn’t possible at this time.”

“He continued: “At this time? AT THIS TIME?? lemme guess, we’re to reschedule another random 11 million to 1 encounter with her some other night…? no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and “please kill me now” that I’d never get back. My Gal, however, was NOT OK with it. Nice impression you left behind, Bday or not. Sorry we’re not KOOL enough to warrant a blessing from the Princess. (or in this case the Village idiot)”

“you see THIS is the reason that I ALWAYS take the time. THIS is why I’m in this thing 31 awesome years. Good will and common courtesy, carefully established over time to exist radically in concert with a code of gratitude!,” he wrote before adding, “I guess ‘Talk That Talk’ was just a big ol lie from a big ol liar.”

As if that wasn’t enough, Charlie also took to the time to trash RiRi’s latest hairstyle. “oh and Riahnna, Halloween isn’t for a while. but good on you for testing out your costume in public. it’s close; a more muted pink might be the answer, as in: none.”

“See ya on the way down, (we always do) and actually, it was a pleasure NOT meeting you. clearly we have NOTHING in common when it comes to respect for those who’ve gone before you. I’m guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds to situate that bad wig before you left the restaurant.”

“Here’s a tip from a real vet of this terrain; If ya don’t wanna get bothered DONT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE! and if this ‘Prison of Fame’ is soooooooo unnerving and difficult, then QUIT, junior! c #Hamateur.”

Yeah, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel to point out that Charlie Sheen is having a meltdown, but we didn’t want to miss the opportunity to repeatedly use the word “douchebag” in a post about him.

I’m surprised that Charlie Sheen can get into the same restaurants as Rihanna…

Skippymom1

Not being a fan of Rhianna, I am still appalled at Sheen la’ douche’s reaction. And his fiance, Scotty, sounds like a real prize as she was NOT okay with it. I would feel bad for Rhianna, because she sounded sincere in her apology not to meet a D-lister’s F-stop girlfriend, but who cares what the douchecanoe says anyway. Rock on Rhianna.

formerlyAnon

You can’t actually believe anything someone like that (if Sheen is as narcissistic as he sounds) says. THEY believe it, sincerely, because objective reality doesn’t make any kind of lasting dent in their perceptions. But it is often simply the interpretation that they put on events so that the events fit better into their ongoing need to be at the center of the universe and wrapped in drama. Scotty may or may not have been as portrayed. Either way, she’s going to be sorry if she stays with him.

decormaven

Dollars to doughnuts, this didn’t even occur. Sheen just plucked the most current star name out of the cosmos and fabricated the entire thing. People who check on RiRi on Google and Twitter picked up his rant and boosted Sheen’s click count. Any credibility he had with me disappeared a long, long time ago.

Ziuskin

Ha, what an asshole. This is classic douchebag, isn’t it? Good for Rihanna, and she clearly dodged a bullet. Also:

?you see THIS is the reason that I ALWAYS
take the time. THIS is why I’m in this thing 31 awesome years. Good will
and common courtesy, carefully established over time to exist
radically in concert with a code of gratitude!”

Grade A jerk. He didn’t get to showboat in front of his latest and decided to take to twitter to try and diss someone. UGH!! douche is too kind a word for him.

MarieLD

I think he went over Twitter’s character limit.

BuffaloBarbara

Oddly, of all the people in the scenario, the one that’s irritating me worst is the girlfriend. Sheen’s behavior is a given, Rihanna’s make sense. But “It’s my birthday!!! I’m dating a famous person so I should meet ALL THE FAMOUS PEOPLE!” Nope, and nope, and nope.

bitchybitchybitchy

This. It reminds me of the small news item I saw earlier this year of a fan sitting courtside at an NBA game, and the ball landed in her lap. She wanted a selfie with Blake Griffin before handing the ball back.

formerlyAnon

Maybe. But we’ve only got not-exactly-grounded-in-reality Sheen’s version of her reaction. (I have known a clinically diagnosed narcissist and seen his divorce up close. Sheen sounds like him. See my comment to Skippymom1, earlier.)

bitchybitchybitchy

Charlie, kiddo, you wore out your welcome a long time ago. No one owes you fiancess a meet and greet. If we had a visual dictionary, I’m thinking that Charlie’s photo would be part of the entry for douchebag.

formerlyAnon

Jesus fuck. I know someone who married/divorced a (clinically diagnosed, eventually) narcissist. The tone of that rant could have been any random email from him during the divorce. Made me queasy to read.

shopgirl716

We know the deal with Charlie Sheen, he shown his ass over and over again. Where does he find these women to marry him? Are they as delusional as he is? That’s the piece I don’t understand.

http://www.momforless.com/ Crystal

He doesn’t know who she is, but he worked the title of one of her songs into his rant..,suuuuure Charlie.