first dates

Obama Meets Queen, CNN Yells

Oh this is a necessary post. You all do want to see the Obamas meeting our colonial Queen at her Buckingham Palace, don’t you? Because they do just that. Check out the Queen, still hangin’ in there. She could stand on top of both Malia and Sasha Obama and still be shorter than either of their parents. CNN did a great job covering this event, too. Its daytime anchor shouts for a while, and then a drunk limey comes on to shout some more. [YouTube]

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

They have a “special entrance for very special guests”? How gay is that?!

gurukalehuru

The New York Times is all pissed off because the British Press (being the host country) got 4 questions and the American press only got 3.
The New York Fucking Times.

Origami

Why is The Queen holding a purse? Isn’t this supposed to be her house?

Canuck13652

I love the giddy high-school girl excitement of whatshisface–“Oh, she doesn’t meet with everyone, but she’s clearly excited.” OMG WE’RE POPULAR!!!11!1!! “There it is! There it is!”

Really, America, you could have had her as your Queen too, if you hadn’t had that silly revolution. We Canucks didn’t bother, and we have healthcare AND legal buttsex.

And also: the stress isn’t on the HAM. It’s on the BUCKING.

eclecticbrotha

[re=278987]Scandalabra[/re]: Ummm, Cronkite is still alive?
[re=278982]Tommmcatt[/re]: Yeah, I never heard anyone refer to the Service entrance as “special” before. Payback for giving Gordo those NTSC DVD’s I reckon. Those wacky Brits!

Bearbloke

[re=278982]Tommmcatt[/re]: Not to be a bigot or anything, but I do wonder if Obama is the first black person who the Queen has considered important enough to receive in person, in the castle? Normally, doesn’t she go visit the black leaders when she goes on her “worship Me, brown people” tours of the EmpireCommonewealth?

rmontcal

“You are so the man” is the new “you be the man”. For today anyway.

Lazy Media

[re=278985]Dave J.[/re]: They’re all like that on teevee any more. Remember how stupid and perky local TV news was 20 years ago? Take that, times a million, and that’s everything on cable now.

Bearbloke

[re=278987]Scandalabra[/re]: Without him in it, right? Maybe he’s just using it right now to mix BIG drinks…

Origami

[re=278991]gurukalehuru[/re]: The NYT has taken the Obama administration as a sign that they can be whiny and self-righteous about their TRADITIONS and IMPORTANCE. No wonder newspapers are doing so well!

Canuck13652

[re=278995]Bearbloke[/re]: Yes, because the Empire/Commonwealth was so very very far behind the US in terms of things like, oh, slavery and segregation . . .

WickedWitch

Tony Harris. STFU. Worst anchor EVAH.

Regarding Mr. Quest — why was there no VIDEO of him? HMMMMM? WEARING A NOOSE AT THE TIME, THERE, BUDDY??

[re=278987]Scandalabra[/re]: Cronkite doesn’t have a coffin … yet. He is so very much with us that he is having a “relationship” with Joanna Simon, Carly’s sister. If we could only get them to the alter, Uncle Walt would be James Taylor’s ex-brother-in-law. And Wonketeers might want to check Joanna’s Wiki listing. It contains the word “whilst.” Trucknut fans might never have seen such a thing.

expatinOz

How pwecious! And that anchor, could he be more…je ne sais quoi…camp?

Rukasu

Phillip: “How the bugger did you tell the Soviets, Nazi, Frogs, and the Slants apart from one another?”

Man he makes Biden look like a little bitch when it comes to making gaffes

thebaker

[re=278999]Lazy Media[/re]: speaking of perky, michelle’s really working that Maidenform!

Dave J.

[re=279009]Rukasu[/re]: Biden would have to go full retard and stay awake for a year to get within spitting distance of the Prince Philip Gaffe Level.

Hooray For Anything

Last year, Quest was busted in Central Park with, I quote: “some drugs in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot.”

Good to see he’s still working

President Beeblebrox

[re=279015]Dave J.[/re]: Right, you never hear Biden going on about Hindoos and Mussulmen and other toffy terms for H.M.’s former subjects.

Bruno

Damn. Barry one-upped me. I only met Princess Anne last year and now he has to go ruin the ride by meeting the Queen. At least I have the pleasure of being a nobody who can comfortably ‘mingle with the locals’, if you know what I mean

Delicious

Of course they’re yelling.

They were both smoking Richard Quest’s meth.

NoWireHangers

The pants pissing glee that CNN anchor exhibits at the thought of the Obamas meeting the Queen (“This is really what I’ve been waiting for TODAY!!1!”), is the same squeal-y delight most Americans get when confronted with any form of Royalty. Europeans don’t understand it. We’re all giggly and stupid about castles and princes and dukes and shit (even though we would NEVER NEVER want an American King because everyone in America is equal). The Obamas and the Kennedys are the closest we’ve come to royalty so naturally when Barry and Michelle met the Queen seats were gonna get moist.

Red Zeppelin

Is Philip saying something about bloody wogs in the background there? Couldn’t tell from the clip.

KittyLitter

Ah yes, nice to see Richard “Dick” Quest back from rehab and dildo-free for 29 days.

[re=279023]NoWireHangers[/re]: Well, if it’s a lame-off you’re after, you should have seen the coverage on Australian TV when our PM met with Barry last week. “ZOMG the meeting ran 20 mins over schedule! He must totally want to go steady with us!”

Red Zeppelin

[re=278992]Origami[/re]: Although they have no written constitution, it is widely believed that if the Queen appears in public without her purse, the monarchy will be defunct and they will all have to move into council flats.

grevillea

Maybe it’s just me, but didn’t the Queen ask Barry what he had for breakfast (not who he met)?

Bearbloke

[re=279029]grevillea[/re]: but that’s not really a Head-Of-State Formal Reception, now is it? – If it happened, it was probably more like some junior congressman getting to say hello to the President before a State of the Union address.

President Beeblebrox

[re=279029]grevillea[/re]: Zounds! Since when are we giving baronies to blackamoors and kaffirs?

Bearbloke

[re=279029]grevillea[/re]: BTW, what’s with this colonial Attorney General crap – what happened to Her Majesty’s Minister of Justice?

honkeyman

Wogs begins at Calais

grevillea

[re=279044]Bearbloke[/re]: Actually, no, I don’t imagine being knighted (baronessed?) by the Queen and sworn in by her as a cabinet minister and First Law Lord is very much like that at all.

comradepaulson

[re=279001]Origami[/re]: She needs that handbag to hold her brick, in case she meets a crazy dog.

Custerwolf

[re=278985]Dave J.[/re]: Amen! After listening to about 10 seconds of “Newsey Items of the Rich and Famous” I told my boyfriend that Peter Jennings is now spinning in his grave.

Custerwolf

[re=278987]Scandalabra[/re]: Damn! You were feeling my pain!

iwillsavethispatient

[re=278995]Bearbloke[/re]: I’m pretty sure she’s received plenty of African leaders in an official capacity at Buck House. Undoubtedly that even includes President Mugabe. And he’s probably been there more than once in the last ~30 years.

Custerwolf

[re=279079]Custerwolf[/re]: Well, at least my guy is dead (further posts clued me in on that one).

iwillsavethispatient

[re=278995]Bearbloke[/re]: Ol’ Queeny has a website, maintained by a succession of lowly serfs, who have provided this information for the commoners’ delight and delectation. Quite a lot, by the looks of it.

CaliforniaMike

CNN didn’t pick up Philip’s aside to Liz as the Obamas entered the room:

“I thought you said they were Americans. They’re wogs!”

cranky

that guy is friggin’ nuts, i can’t be anywhere near his voice without seizures.

cranky

“i am the obamaaaaaaaaah . . ” fluffer?

smellyal8r

Nothing like being turned around with a wave of the hand by the “Royal Consort” and told to “face that way” for picture time. I love how she’s hearing who all’s in town and that Barry didn’t doze off and she’s just nodding her head, “ummm hmmm…yes, quite” She looks bored stiff. She’s probably quite interested in who he’s talked with and what’s new in the world economy, but has to endure all this chit chat before getting down to business. Also, Helen Mirren still looks great, no?

CNN’s anchors have sucked for some time (especially the morning crew…they are hideous) and Richard Quest is just plain squirrelly.

sati demise

[re=279043]grevillea[/re]: It is the only decent meal made in England.
The breakfast=super good!
The rest, meh, go out for Indian food.

[re=279100]fishandvodka[/re]: I simply KNEW that the British were still pissed about losing the war. WELL YOU HAVE IT BACK NOW ENGLAND ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

CLEARLY THE QUEEN IS PART OF THE ILLUMINATI. WAKE UP SHEEPLES.

Gallowglass

[re=279100]fishandvodka[/re]: Don’t be silly, everyone knows that MUSLIN JESUS CONTROLS B. HUSSEIN OBAMA AND THE LUO TRIBESMEN BORN IN USSR UNDER COMMUMIST ISALMO_FASCISM

aliphile

I loooooooooaaaaaaaathe Tony Harris. As whacko as cable news is, I was seriously addicted to it for a long time, and THAT MAN single-handedly made me kick the habit. He was always on while I was eating breakfast, and I finally realized that screaming at the television for 20 minutes every morning probably wasn’t good for the ol’ blood pressure.

Custerwolf

[re=278993]Canuck13652[/re]: We’re quite proud of our Dukes of Hazzard, thank you very much.

smellyal8r

[re=279104]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’m always happy when you are commenting shortshorts. A millyun laffs.

Bearbloke

[re=279064]grevillea[/re]: It’s still not a Peer-to-Peer meeting, even if the Queen knighted one of Hersubjects (or is the proper term in this case “vassals”)?

DoctorCulturae

Ah, the passive-aggressive festival that is our “relationship” with Great Britain is in full display: CNN’s faux giddiness, the garden entrance next to a towering series of scaffolds (wtf), the Prince ordering of the Preznit to turn around, even Michelle’s quaint eye-blinding black/white ensemble. Pictures of the royals for Barry as a “gift” and an ipod for the Krauten-heimers. The only thing that would have brought levity would have been Sasha and Malia. Of course that would threaten all the magical realism. Note no bodies are ever allowed to touch. I’m reminded of an old joke about a bread box.

Mr Blifil

There’s no way Noobama registered that iPod under the Queen’s Apple ID.

gliberal

It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lizzie! Me and the missus loved you in Golden Girls.

gliberal

Pink? Serious, pink? For a visiting head of state? What, your charcoals were at the cleaners? You just come from the flower show? In an overhead shot she would look like a walking nipple.

expatinOz

[re=279033]grevillea[/re]: Did you see Rove’s (McManus not Karl) thing about that? He said the Australian media were all in an uproar, “Obama wants to go steady with us” and the American press were, “President meets with odd-looking accountant”.

expatinOz

[re=279043]grevillea[/re]: SHe asked Barry if he wanted tea and cake or death.

Mr Blifil

We are not amused.

ladymacbeth

[re=279165]Mr Blifil[/re]: what is with you today? i think i am in love.

Capricatony

I could have sword Prince Phillip was tall. What cute little gnomes the royals are.

Custerwolf

Today we are all queens.

assistant/atlas

Sometimes, the only thing one can muster is…

MEDIA FAIL.

DC Hates Me

CNN really has become the TMZ star fucker news channel. I saw this last week. This is how the professionals report news:

CNN’s T.J. Holmes laughing with convicted rapper TI about his long criminal record (second clip): “T.I. talks before sentence”

Seriously, though, if anyone needs me I’ll be plotting a takeover of CNN.

Ted Turner is fucking around with buffaloes in Nebraska, he’ll never notice.

!Viva la revolucion!*

Bring pitchforks.

*My keyboard only writes in American. Sorry, Fidel.

pertello

I don’t want to get all Miss Manners here, but shouldn’t the First Lady, upon meeting the Queen of England, refer to her husband as “The President”? as in “The President has been caught up in meetings”?. I would think that, even though they are married and intimate, this would be the proper formal way to refer to the President of the United States.

gurukalehuru

Actually, I kind of used to enjoy Richard Quest’s breathlessly enthusiastic style when he was doing travel programs, and his getting busted in Central Park for being insanely weird only made me like him more.
If he weren’t working for such a war-mongering neo-con tool network, trying to be the new Jim Cramer, he might not actually be so odious.
It ain’t how you say it, Dickie boy, it’s what you say, in the end, that counts.

Woodwards Friend

B. Hussein Obama totally loves the Queen because he born a secret Muslin the Commonwealth nation of Kenya!!!!!!!

Inadequate Blackmail

I had no idea Chrissie Hynde was doing the news. Figured she’d at least sprinkle a “fuck” in there somewhere.

NebraskashireGentry

DVDs and iPods?!

a rather presumptuous gift when you don’t know if the Queen even has ears under those hats.

has America never heard of books, gilded pill boxes or John Deere hats?