The Early Bird Gets The Job!

PROSECUTOR: IS IT CORRECT that you sell illegal drugs behind your house?

Accused: No, that is wrong.

Prosecutor: Your Honour, this man is lying. I have bought drugs there myself!

RIDDHIM KAWDIA, Jodhpur

A LADY TO AN orthopaedic doctor:

“My husband is suffering from servile spondylosis.”

Doctor: “You mean cervical spondylosis.”

Lady: “No, it’s servile spondylosis caused due to constant bending before his bosses.”

R. SHANKAR, Visakhapatnam

AFTER WINNING THE first prize in a modern art competition, the painter shared the bonanza with his valet. This infuriated his wife.

“Are you crazy?!” she thundered.

“Calm down, dear,” he replied. “Had he not hung the painting upside down, I may not have received even a consolation prize!”

R. RAGHOTHAMAN, Bengaluru

MY MEDICINE PROFESSOR was a very methodical man. So, it did not come as a surprise when he began his lesson on the respiratory system with, “Class, when you have to hear the breathing sounds of patients, ask them to inhale and exhale. Not inspire and expire. I repeat, not inspire and expire.”