Crawley Cineworld

Crawley is perhaps the dullest place on earth. The buildings are grey. The sky is almost always grey. The people themselves are grey; they are a bit of a hit-and-miss kind of bunch. You often cannot decide if they are worth being friends with. To give you an idea, there are only three people in Crawley who I would consider my friends.

Not much praise for someone who was born and raised there for a time, eh? If you’ve been reading my previous articles, you should hopefully remember me stating that if you come from Horley like I do, Crawley is the place to go when you want clothes or more specific items. There is a massive county mall there, probably the only reason why I would ever visit – other than to meet up with those three previously mentioned friends.

Occasionally, I do go to Crawley to chill out with my family. In this case, that was the reason I decided to go to that hellish place.

There is a leisure park in Crawley where you can find a small square filled with restaurants. All chains are covered: Cheeky Nando’s, McDonalds, TGI Fridays, Bella Italia, Frankie & Bennies and Pizza Hut. Most days, it seems McDonalds is about to implode due to the amount of people present there, some obese and some not so much.

It’s had a facelift! Sparkly.

The other two activities are a Cineworld and a Hollywood Bowl. Hollywood Bowl… you can eat there, if that is your wish. For me, I tend to avoid the chains if I can help it (‘cept maybe a Cheeky Nando’s. Everyone loves a bit of chicken!). I prefer a good hidden restaurant in town to find and eat at.

Hollywood Bowl is probably the place I visit most, to play the Pool with my ‘besties’ (I will never use that word again, I promise! *cringes*). The cinema I tend to despise. There is inevitably always a guy in there that you find yourself sitting next to, snacking away on his nachos and popcorn, who also doesn’t understand the concept of personal space. I only visit if a film piques my interest enough OR if I’m in good company. Last time I went was with one of my closest friends, Floss, to watch the new Captain America film (her favourite Marvel Character and I have to admit, it was pretty amazing too). This time it was the new movie Sausage Party, written for adults as a parody of Disney and Pixar. Basically, supermarket foods learn that when they leave, they become meals. Verdict: overrated, IMHO.

There are only a few moments I actually laughed at. Grey then, like the rest of Crawley. A Hit-or-Miss. If you think you’ll find it offensive, heads up – it’s meant to be. Some of it takes the mickey out of the Middle Eastern wars, Nazi Germany, and other sensitive subjects. Everything was very well acted; voice-wise and there were times when I didn’t realise who the voice actor was. It gets gory at times, with dying vegetables, and there are some very sexually analogous scenes.

Overall I enjoyed the night. It was good. But it wasn’t great. I wouldn’t go there again unless I see and like the look of a film. The company was the best part.

Peace and quiet for now…

And I’ve always learnt that the company you choose can make a crappy place much better. But for Crawley, it will take a lot (i.e. some smashing people) to make grey turn into white. There just isn’t enough there for me.