This has been one fucked up day for the Lohan clan. Like, I can't really even follow what's been going on. But as far as I can tell, Lindsay and Dina partied all night and eventually got into an argument about an errant $40k that Lindsay had loaned her mom. Then they clawed at each other's faces for a while until Lindsay called her dad and told him she was being kidnapped, and that "[Mom's] on cocaine." Oh, Lindsay also called Dina "the fucking devil" and said (not on the recording) that Dina needs to go to rehab. So, you know, Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!! [HONK HONK] Michael, naturally, being a classy kind of guy, recorded his phone conversation with his fragile, hysterical daughter and handed it over to TMZ. Because sure.

Michael: "You do everything for everyone-you gave mom 40 thousand?"
Lindsay: "Yes."
Michael: "When did you give it to her?"
Lindsay: "Because she needs to keep her house."
Michael: "She's full of shit. She's lying to you, Lindsay. She's lying."
Lindsay: "Me and [Lindsay's brother] Michael did it for her. Me and Michael did it."

"Dad, she's on cocaine, she's like touching her neck and shit."

Lindsay: She said disgusting things to me.
Michael: She's horrible Lindsay.
Lindsay: She just said I'm dead to her. I'm dead to her now.
Dina (in the background): That's right, you're dead to me.

Prince Harry's ye olde magnum dong reportedly made the city of Las Vegas $23 million in tourism dollars. Here is a bunch of nonsense words about it:

One full-page LCVA ad placed in USA Today slammed the partygoers who sold the prince out and leaked his naked pictures. "For everyone's sake, it's important that 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,'" said Cathy Tull, senior vice president of marketing for the LVCVA, per Vegas Inc. "However, in moments of enthusiasm, actually keeping memories in Las Vegas takes commitment. Today's ad was a cheeky reminder to all our visitors that it's important to 'Know the code,' and most importantly, 'Protect the code.'" (What happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas-duh!)

The first trailer for that Alfred Hitchcock biopic is up! Here are some stills. There was some controversy about this yesterday ("Scarlett's has a completely different face though!"), so I just want to ask: You guys know that Scarlett Johansson can't look exactly like Janet Leigh because she literally is a different human being, right? Why is this so controversial? Are you also confused that biopics aren't cast entirely with celebrity impersonators? [E!]