Wife, Mother, Teacher, Friend. Aspiring to always be better than I was yesterday. This is the story of my life...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sleeping with the Enemy

I am a little neurotic....okay, a lot neurotic. Cullen and I bought a wonderful home, in a safe neighborhood. I never worry about neighbors or crime. We ride our bikes or go run errands and sometimes don't lock the doors - I never worry.

NOW, I WORRY! Recently, Cullen and I have had some unwanted guests vacationing in our home. In the past, I politely required Cullen to capture our new UNWANTED friends and put them outside where they belong. Two days ago, Sunday, I was cleaning my house, including emptying a suitcase from recent travel. From within the depths of the suitcase, this gecko (which was as big as a newborn horse) popped out at me like an tightly wound Jack-In-the-Box...Well, THAT PUT AN END TO CLEANING THAT SUIT CASE. To make matters worse, Cullen wasn't home. Paralyzed in fear, not knowing what to do, I was being held captive IN MY OWN HOME by a man-eating lizard.

That night, I didn't sleep. I knew the minute I closed my eyes, the gecko was going to sneak-attack the bed and eat me alive. I am almost positive that geckos are man-eaters...and I am CERTAIN they can smell fear! Every time a hair on my head moved, every time the sheets adjusted, every time Cullen moved around, I had worked myself up to believe it was the gecko, doubling in size with every minute he was alive, was somewhere in the bed, waiting for the perfect moment to attack. I prayed I could live to see the light of Monday morning.

Monday comes, and it was a great day. I had a wonderful workout; Cullen took me to dinner; and there are no thoughts of geckos...Until I walked into my own personal Hell. I walked into my bedroom to put up my shoes (Cullen and I are working on keeping the house clean) and that is when IT happened. A gecko crawled across my foot. I yelled, scratched that, let out an ear piercing scream only heard in horror movies. Brodie, Millie and Cullen come into the room to find me on the bed standing on my tip tip toes, in panic mode, to get as far away from that lizard as possible. I check my clothes with a fury, in case the lizard used my toes as a spring board onto my body. I have Cullen put up my shoes (in case the lizard jumped into my shoes), grab my flip-flops and we leave the house. After picking up a movie, we get home and I pull out Raid Spray (which now sits on my night stand), and pull out the "around the house" spray. As a preventative method, we spray the windows and doors quarterly to keep UNWANTED pests away. The preventative bug spray is for ants, roaches, crickets and spiders. I am almost sure the maker of this spray just forgot to add "KILLS GECKOS". I sprayed every door crack, opened the doors and sprayed the doorways and parts of the sidewalk to really really drive the point home. If it is possible for geckos to read, I would put up a sign in my yard, or a sign on my door that reads " NO SOLICITING - NO GECKOS!"

To end, I took two Benadryl to aid my ability to fall asleep; only woke up twice last night to make sure the Raid was in reach and to double check I was still alive. I really need counseling.