Reflections on life, loss and our country

When people see a new column from me they know they can usually expect a little bit of silly, a whole lot of quirky and some tantalizing tales (along with some pretty bad puns). These are usually involving adorable kitties, creeping, slithering critters or manic motor homes. Hopefully, these stories (which I swear are all true) give you chuckles, giggles and even loud guffaws. If so my goal is met; there is nothing I like better than making people laugh.

But this time my column isn’t intended to bring forth chuckles. This one is designed to make us all think and grieve for the brave law enforcement personnel who lost their lives or were injured recently.

When we hear about any event where there’s loss of life there’s always sadness. But when we hear about unleashed acts of violence directed at the very men and women who work to serve and protect us it goes beyond sad. It’s sickening. Deep-in-the-gut-sickening, that anyone could so callously take a life AND put other lives in jeopardy. This time, once again, it began too close to home, in Brookhaven, the town of my own birth. It moved to north Mississippi and then to South Carolina. The violence spread like a cancer.

We all remember that awful May night in 2015 when Officers Benjamin Deen and Liqouri Tate lost their lives. Who can forget? Our community mourned our own then; many of us had never set eyes on either of them but we cried nonetheless. They were ours, part of our Hattiesburg family, and they will never be forgotten.

Just as in our own community I pray for healing for the families and friends affected by these tragedies. But can you ever truly heal from something like that? When a loved one passes from an illness it’s devastating and heartbreaking. But that is something beyond our control and the phrase “God’s Will” gives us some comfort. Sometimes - not always - there is time to prepare, make special memories, and say things there won’t be time for later. But these tragedies were manmade and there was no warning. All the officers got up that morning, said goodbye to their families and left for work — with one being off-duty — and didn’t come home. That’s just not acceptable, which of course is a huge understatement.

But you know what? I’m angry. Yes, I am royally, foot-stompin’, spittin’ mad. Not just at the event itself; but for the things these officers won’t get to do with their families. There won’t be family barbecues or church on Sunday, or ballgames with their kids or anniversary dinners with their wives. There won’t be birthday parties, Christmas dinners or retirement parties. There will be a void — put there by heartless individuals who felt it was their right to take a life. Anger is useless, I know that, but we should never lose the ability to feel it; because it would mean we get so used to these crimes we no longer react. We can learn to channel that shock and anger into something more productive, something that would help prevent future tragedies like these.

Right now all I know is that the End of Watch came upon these officers when they were least expecting it.

So as I reflect on these events I reflect too on other newsworthy happenings. And I ask myself, what will it take to heal all the divisions within this country? I believe in this nation, I love America and what it stands for. Our feet are planted firmly in the soil that our ancestors cultivated and nurtured hundreds of years ago. But we aren’t oak trees that can withstand hundreds of years of storms or tall pines that bend in the wind. We are human and, like small children, we think our way is the only way. But guess what? Perhaps it’s not…Perhaps we all need to learn to bend just a little more here and there; bend until we touch the one standing next to us, and the next, and so on — and find common ground and unity. And empathy. If someone would just begin that bending, maybe it would catch on…

Sometimes as humans we do break — but as a nation I pray we remain strong and learn to bend; perhaps with a few cracks here and there, but WE– WILL - NEVER – BREAK.