I met her at Crossfit and decided on the day I met her that she was going to be my friend. It took some convincing and stalking, but she finally agreed to give me a trial run. That was 4 years ago. As long as I don’t violate the restraining order, we can remain friends.

What are her best qualities?

Her warmth,

Her eye color,

Her stubborn insistence on showing up on one’s doorstep when they’re sad and have told they don’t want her there,

Her ability to be in the moment,

Her laughter that sounds kind of like drunk bubbles,

Her hugs,

Her science…ness…ity,

Her ability to forgive,

and of course we can all agree, her butt, which is fantastic.

What are her biggest accomplishments?

Easy. Caden and Blaine.

What is your fondest memory of her?

Spending a few days together on a road trip to Minnesota in which Dr. Ackerman (<3) was finally going to cure her of her annoying habit of dying. My favorite parts were sitting around in comfortable, companionable silence and the side road trips in which we ate ungodly amounts of candy corn.

If Jen were an animal, what would it be?

A cat. Snuggly one minute, swishing her tail and scratching your eyes out the next. Hard to catch and even harder to get rid of once you feed it.