As a great scholar once said, if you can think of it, it probably exists in sexy Halloween costume form.

That was probably Socrates.

That rule applies for crime as well. If you really wanted to dress as your favorite criminal or crime this Halloween, you have a plethora of options, thanks to Yandy. Yandy is an online costume shop infamous for turning basically every concept out there into a "sexy" outfit. Yup, even something like Slender Man — I mean, uh, "Slim Man" — can be sexed up, if Yandy has anything to say about it.

Here are the sexy crime costumes that you never asked for, but probably now also really need.

Yes, Slim Man. Definitely not a Slender Man knockoff because of copyright concerns. No way.

“They say she's an urban legend who stalks and abducts her prey,” Yandy states. “You won't want to encounter this faceless babe in a dark forest.”

Bet you didn’t know that Slender Man, uh, Slim Man, wore a deep, cleavage-baring, plunging neckline. But you should know that Slender Man was originally a scary fictitious character that originated as a creepypasta internet meme (horror-related images and stories that are passed around the internet). He was the basis of several online stories — and in some, he stalked and abducted children.

The meme bled into real life when two 12-year-old Wisconsin girls stabbed their friend to appease Slender Man in 2014. The case made international headlines and even spawned a movie.

Anissa Weier and Morgan Geyser were both tried as adults, and Weier has since been sentenced to 25 years in state mental care, according to Reuters.

Sexy bandits actually do exist in real life, too. Remember the “Beefcake Bandit,” whose musclebound physique and extensive tattoos made him camera fodder for salacious photo shoots? He was sentenced this year in federal court after earlier pleading guilty to a series of five robberies in New York and Connecticut in early 2017.

This sexy costume, which reminds us of "Silence of the Lambs" even comes with a brain purse.

"Snack on some fava beans in this Silent One costume featuring a mini dress with an off-the-shoulder neckline, an allover white and orange color blocked design, a black harness design, a silver buckle accent, a back zipper closure, a brown face harness, and a pink brain clutch," Yandy states.

Hannibal Lecter, the cannibalistic antagonist of the 1992 classic film, told Clarice Starling that he got bored with a census taker so he ate his "liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti." Now, you too can make cannibalistic references, but in sexy form. It even comes with a mask, similar to that worn by Lecter, which will prevent you from biting (and eating) people's faces. Definitely sexier than a Jeffrey Dahmer costume.

Clowns are scary enough, sure, but keep in mind that one real-life clown was also a serial killer: John Wayne Gacy. Back in the mid-70s, Gacy was responsible for sexually assaulting and murdering at least 33 boys. Before he was convicted, though, Gacy was known as a friendly neighborhood clown. Throughout his imprisonment, he became known for his terrifying paintings of — what else — clowns! Sleep tight.

There are plenty of real-life mafia folk you can base your costumes on: Gene Gotti, the Cantarellas, and so on. Sadly, we have to note a mermaid version of a mafia person seems a lot less intimidating.

This costume, named the "Seductive Dark Assassin Costume," features a black jumpsuit, a face mask, and an underbust corset. Do real hired killers dress this sexy? If they did, perhaps people who allegedly want to kill others over such gripes as having loud parties or for complaining about how you treat your tigers, would actually be able to find the real hitmen.

[Provided by Yandy]

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