FONG came to the ring, and stated that 10/6/17 event “Fuck The Fans 8” in Oakland would be PONG’s one year anniversary as Golden Gig Champion. He said he’s aware that Drugz Bunny has been patient with his CM Punk Memorial Trophy – which allows him any match with any Hoodslammer at any event – but knows he’s going to cash it in against PONG for the GIG at FTF8. He wants Drugz to know that when he does, FONG will be waiting for him.

4. Nurse Ratchet and SuperBeast defeated Brittany Wonder and Killmeister after Killmeister left the ring

Manny Faberino came to the ring and spoke about his teenage depression. Big B appeared, and told Manny that things get better and dreams come true, and to prove it, he would win the Best Athlete in the East Bay from Brutal Rob or Coach Joey Nuggs, the New U. The New U said they accept the challenge, but as a handicap match.

5. New U defeated Big B to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

The Caution (caution) addressed the crowd, stating that they had to publicly let go of the past before they could move on to their future. They played a lengthy film titled “The Wake of DARK Sheik”, and finally said goodbye to their former partner.

SuperBeast defeated Manny Faberino, at wrestling.

Hoodslam proper:

Johnny Drinko Butabi kicked us off, stating that after winning the Battle Royal of Supremacy last month that he would use his prize of booking Octobers “Fuck the Fans 8” event to his benefit – planning a match with himself vs Golden Gig Champion PONG. He quickly turned his attention to Drugz Bunny, though, the man/rabbit who holds the CM Punk Memorial Trophy, allowing him a shot at any hoodslammer at any event in any match. Knowing that this would be an opportune moment for Drugz to cash in, Drinko wanted to make sure he knew he had his eye on him. Drugz would let Drinko know he knows by coming to the ring for a match.

Drugz Bunny defeated Johnny Drinko Butabi after a distraction by The Peanut Butter Jelly Banana, who’s apparently pretty sore about being the last one eliminated by Drinko in last months Battle Royal of Supremacy.

The CAUTION (caution) – Ean Hancement and Anton Voorhees vs Shotokan Dojo – Ryu and Ken Masters best of 5 series finale never happened. Both teams fought before the bell, Referee Wiggles declared it too chaotic and threw the match out, both teams continued to fight, and finally the Intergalactic Tag Team Champions the Stoner Brothers would attack all 4 men and declare their tag team dominance.

Virgil Flynn III/Batmanuel/Nurse Ratchet defeated El Chupacabra/Brittany Wonder/FONG (replacing Cereal Man who refused to fight with Batmanuel or team with Brittany Wonder) after Nurse Ratchet stabbed El Chupacabra with a syringe and stole his blood.

Rick Scott Stoner defeated Joey Ryan after interference from Scott Rick Stoner. Joey had come to challenge for the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship, but the Stoners did not accept Joey’s statement that his partner was his dick.

Golden Gig Champion PONG defeated Sinn Bodhi after getting help from his partner in Team Game Over, FONG. He stated that next month would be his one year anniversary as champion, and fuck you. Sorta. I’m paraphrasing.

Peanut Butter Jelly Banana defeated James C, Cody Devine, Zangev Darevko, Doc Atrocity and Anthony Butabi in a six entity free for all

Best Athletes in the East Bay Coach Joey Nuggs and Brutal Rob Hands issued an open challenge for their Golden Fannypacks

Coach Joey Nuggs defeated Hip Hop Harry to retain the Golden Fannypacks after Brutal Rob Hands attacked Harry with his own crutches at the opening bell

They would then issue another challenge, resulting in Scott Rick Stoner answering the call

Commentary by Broseph Joe Brody, unplugged music by the Hoodslam band! As usual, all winners are given an opportunity to remove the Corn Sword from the Stone. Only the one who is successful will be noted.

The cable under the ring broke. We went and bought a new one. In the mean time, Freddy Yip won the first ever open invitational fan fest promo fucktacular, defeating… wiggles?

Drugz Bunny defeated Big B

Coach Joey Nuggs defeat Joey Smoak to defend the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

Manny Faberino addressed the crowd, saying he was banned from last Knightsen event for not following the stipulation of the match he lost on the first one this summer – if he were to be locked in the U-Haul by Steve the Cock Fighter, he would have to grow a mustache, despite already having one. This month, he had two and was allowed to participate.

Link to the Future Anton Voorhees defeated Manny Faberino – Before Anton was given his opportunity to remove the CornSword from the Stone, Manny Faberino attacked him and attempted to unfairly get a free try and the sword. He was rebuked by Anton Voorhees and Broseph Joe Brody, who locked him in the U-Haul again.

Peanut Butter Jelly Banana defeated Nurse Ratchet

Ultra Girl Brittany Wonder defeated Draggin'”The Super Dragon” Dragon. Its what he wanted to be called.

Best Athlete in the East Bay Brutal Rob Hands said that he would now remove the Corn Sword unopposed, as all participants had performed in the night already. Just then, the door of the U-Haul opened, and Manny Faberino emereged – however, he had changed into a giant corn. He claimed to be possessed by the spirit of Cornelius, who came from a dimension of corn people who had a tournament to remove a people sword. It’s end was the demise of his universe, and he vowed to stop it from happening again.

Cornelius defeated Brutal Rob Hands in a match NOT for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

Cornelius felt the Corn Sword call to him, and he knew that as long as it stood “…men and women like [Brutal Rob Hands] would attempt to usurp its evil power…”. Cornelius then SUCCEEDED in removing the Corn Sword from the stone, to witch the crowd erupted into chants of “CORN” – no really. Cornelius then declared that the felt the Corn Sword begin to taint him, and admitted that it was he who removed the people sword and doomed his universe. He went on to state that he knew now what must be done, and rejected the corn sword, and stood in its place atop the stone, petrifying into a corn person statue before finally expunging the body of Manny Faberino back to his own consciousness.

Anthony Butabi came to the ring, and surprisingly, James C soon followed. He talked to Anthony about brotherhood, and friendship, and how it could be stronger than brothers. This angered the Stoner Brothers, who challenged the two to a match

6. The Stoner Brothers defeated Anthony Butabi and James C to defend the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship

6. The Stoner Brothers defeated The Whirlwind Gentleman Remy Marcel and Jack Manley to retain the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship

7. PONG defeated James C to retain the Golden Gig Championship. James C appeared to have PONG defeated, but in an act of friendship, instead invited Drugz Bunny to cash in his CM Punk Memorial Lethal Lottery Tournament Battlebowl Championship Trophy – that grants any match with any Hoodslammer at any time – and defeat PONG for the Golden Gig himself. Drugz did not appear to wish to cash in at this time, in that fashion, and in the disagreement PONG was able to find opportunity for victory.

8. Johnny Drinko Butabi won the Battle Royal of Supremacy, outlasting all other match winners who qualified as well as The PBJ Banana, Big B, Richard Shhhnary, Berkeley Brawler, The American Marvels and Charlie Chaplin.

He now has near full booking control of October First Friday Event “Fuck the Fans 8”

Super Beast v Mustafa Saeed was advertised, but after both combatants music played with no arrival of either, Joel Killmeister appeared and said he set the whole thing up as a joke (he’s a clown, btw). The wise and all knowing PB&J Banana emerged, and said that’s not how we like to fuck the fans.