Cell phone at a concert

Thursday

Jun 28, 2007 at 2:00 AM

Ms. Concert Manners has seen it all.

Dale Robin Lockman

Ms. Concert Manners has seen it all.

Yes, she has.

In fact, Ms. Concert Manners is so rip roaring mad about this one, she stormed into the "In Tune" office, shoved your usual "In Tune" columnist Dale Robin Lockman off her chair and onto the floor, and has taken over the writer's seat at the Desk Of Music.

"Talk about your manners, Ms. Concert Manners," called out your Trusty Columnist from the floor of the "In Tune" office.

"Never mind about that!" retorted Ms. Concert Manners. "You will not believe this one. I saw this with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears."

It seems that at a recent partially musical event, Ms. Manners was seated politely, enjoying the music (what else would you expect...;) when somewhere in her vicinity a cell phone began to ring.

Oh, it happens. Yes, despite the pleas from Masters of Ceremonies, Announcers and Hosts everywhere, someone either forgets or chooses not to turn off his or her phone or turn the ringer off.

Usually when it does happen, concert-going heads turn and the offender dives for the phone to silence it and meekly turns around to apologize for the mishap.

Ms. Concert Manners is not unforgiving; she understands that these things can happen by mistake. The offending phone owner will usually then be embarrassed into finally turning that phone off. Thank you very much.

But at this particular performance, at a particularly quietly melodic moment off went this particular cell phone and what did that particular cell phone owner do? He answered it!

And when he answered it, did he quietly leave the room and take the call outside? No! He spoke in a conversational tone on the phone in his seat in the audience while someone was singing a song. And continued to speak until the song was about three-quarters over.

Ms. Concert Manners could not believe her eyes and ears. In the mother tongue of Ms. Concert Manners' people, there is one word for this: chutzpah. It means more nerve than anyone should exhibit in public.

Readers will be happy (and/or relieved) to know that Ms. Concert Manners contained her outrage and did not make a spectacle of herself by strangling the offending cell phone user, though she did catch the seething faces of other concert neighbors who looked as though they wished she would. She said nothing ...; just attempted to block out the intruding noise and focus on the performance in front of her.

Music-lovers, please ...; we all love staying in touch...;we all love knowing that we are needed and loved and indispensable to all of our friends, neighbors, relatives and business associates.

If you need to stay in touch, put your phone on that most pleasurable of settings, vibrate. And perch yourself near a door so that you can attend to your business without ruining the live performance for the hundreds of other music lovers who have arranged to have their business taken care of before or after the event in question.

Ms. Concert Manners' people contacted the York County Coast Star today to apologize for the damage to the "In Tune" office chair and the "In Tune" regular columnist. They promise that Ms. Concert Manners will never exhibit that behavior again, but they do beg the concert-going public to please keep those cell phones, pagers, beeping watches and air horns quiet.

Folks, they are begging.

Dale Robin Lockman is a musician, music journalist, educator and Mom, who keeps her phone on vibrate, who has taught her children to do the same, and who forgives Ms. Concert Manners her moment of rage. She was there and saw and heard the same thing! Dale Robin may be reached at dalerobin@dalerobin.com.

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