Man, halfway huh? I dunno what the fuck is up with me recently, but I just can't commit to read. Still only about 250pgs into that mother. It's like when school's not in, all I wanta do is lounge about, but when school's in, all I want to do is read fiction of my choosing.

Man, halfway huh? I dunno what the fuck is up with me recently, but I just can't commit to read. Still only about 250pgs into that mother. It's like when school's not in, all I wanta do is lounge about, but when school's in, all I want to do is read fiction of my choosing.

I am a FAILURE.

Remember (if this helps you feel less failurish), I'm long-done with school and therefore everything is on my time. What I'm suffering from is the writin', because I haven't been able to finish anything for a while, and it's neared emotional-crisis time. I've retreated to pen and notebook and a few pages a day, and I feel like I'm a ditchdigger, but I cannot have another unfinished story. I keep reading so I don't have to write, so it's just as bad. I shouldn't be this far itno Against The Day - or - reading Blindside, I should be sitting my ass down and diggin the ditch, no matter how emotionally painful or how much revulsion I feel for myself during the act of it, this new habit of Not finishing what I start has to End. So I too, am right now, a failure.

guys, i'm feeling like a failure too, because i have no attention span right now. why? because i'm already nervous over my date TOMORROW NIGHT. i just can't WAIT to see how much of a wreck i am in, say, 24 hours. guhhh. kill my pathetic ass NOW.

Yeah, just be like: "Girl, let me in. I wanna be your friend. I want to guard your dreams and visions. Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims. And, if you feel comfortable with it, strap your hands across my engines." That has gotten me laid many times.

Perhaps the problem is that I don't drink beer that often, and I drink fast when I am nervous, and when meeting new people I am nervous, and after two or three not-beers I am all "whee," and...oh wait, this is the reading thread.

"Hey I met a girl in Pittsburgh and I think it's going to work, but she's so far away (because I live in Phoenix), what should I do?"

"Keep on drinkin', if it works out you can make alcohol-fueled promises about a relationship that's gonna last 'til the end of time, and if it doesn't work out, you've got something to fall back on that's never gonna' leave you (alcohol); next; forget it (burp - throwup) - the answer is Miller Genuine Draft."

I finished Blindsight by Peter Watts and I heartily recommend anyone with an interest in cutting edge science fiction read it; it's tense, it's unforgivingly hard sci fi, and Peter Watts has a way of making beautiful language out of complex science which is, for my money, a rarer talent than writing well; anyone interested in Game Theory and Artificial Intellegence come ye all to the fire and be amazed.

It's worth buying. Check your libraries though because they might have a copy by now. It's a book that actually seems like Sci Fi and has none of the tropes of Sci Fi; it actually feels like it was written in the future and sent back in a time capsule which is the whole point of hard Sci Fi.