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Monthly Archives: March 2014

It’s the last day of March. I got home from work and that family is still in my basement. I’m not pleased. We’ve reminded them numerous times they needed to be out by today, along with all their belongings. We even gave them written reminders. I’ve yet to hear about a single box leaving that basement. They keep saying they’ll be out by tonight but at this point I don’t really believe them.

My plan is to go down there in a couple hours and just pull all the breakers out of the electric panel to shut off the utilities in the basement. Maybe it’s a bit passive aggressive but I don’t owe them electricity, as it is I’ve been paying double for my utilities since they moved in with no contribution from them to offset the huge spike in cost. I just worry that they’ll be destructive if I do that. They do have animals, I don’t want to find feces or urine all over my basement as a parting gift. I just want them to leave like they promised so I don’t have to resort to things like that.

I feel like no good deed goes unpunished, it’s a shame people refuse to take personal accountability and just want to take advantage of other’s kindness. Next time husband wants to take in strays I’m going to flat out refuse.

Do you ever stop to think about all the personal prisons we place ourselves in? Why do we do it? Why are we so afraid to break free?

One could argue that to view life as if we were locked in cages upon cages of our own making is to take the negative path. To see the self-imposed imprisonment as something limiting and destructive, instead of as a stable base one can draw comfort from, may seem negative but I prefer to think of it as practical. The dead-end jobs we work, the toxic relationships we continue, the apathetic acceptance of the shallow workings of society and the intellectual ceilings we throw up to avoid looking like a failure…these are all prisons that sap at our soul.

I’ve learned to break free from some of the prisons I put myself in. I cut out toxic friendships, changed jobs, joined protests and forced myself to keep on expanding my knowledge base long past the last day of college. I still don’t feel free, but the cages I’m in now are mostly the ones I can live with. Sometimes I feel like the prisons of other people encircle me and those can be hard to navigate out from. My biggest cage continues to be one made from not having financial security. It is a cage that stems from fear. Fear that what little I have will be ripped away from me, rendered useless by a disaster that re-sets the playing field. Fear that I will never be able to achieve the means to help others the way I want to and travel around the world to expand my knowledge base.

When I daydream about winning the lottery and having enough money to be able to quit my job, help out my family and friends and finally be able to travel the world, what’s really motivating this fantasy is my deep-seated desire for freedom. I don’t want money so I can be lazy and buy anything I want, I want to be independently wealthy so I don’t have to answer to a cold and heartless corporation. I want financial security so I can be free from the stress of never-ending bills. I want to be a millionaire so I can provide the opportunity for the hard-working people in my life to finally have a chance to catch their breath from the shit storm life has flung upon them. I want to have money so I can make sure my husband can finally take care of all of his health issues without having to worry about what hospital bill we can afford to pay this month and what procedure we need to put off till we’ve accumulated enough money in the HSA. I want to be free, free from the cage limited finances places upon a person, and one day I know I will be.

I’ve been noticing that something’s been going on with my two cat’s digestive health lately and the vet claims they are healthy but they seem like they don’t like something in their food.

I tried changing their food but they pretty much refuse to eat anything unless there’s some fancy feast mixed in. I tried other wet foods, they turn their noses up at them, I tried natural foods and raw foods and they won’t touch it. Problem is they are clearly having a problem with something. Two other cats I know have similar symptoms and also eat fancy feast. I’m beginning to suspect that the meat or other ingredients may be tainted to varying degrees. I had just opened a new box of chicken fancy feast cans and the cats wouldn’t touch it. I’ve had them refuse to eat certain flavors occasionally in the past (flavors they used to love) but this time it was their staple chicken flavor. Now they’ve also stopped eating their dry food. Both the wet and dry are Purina brand products and would presumably be made from the same initial protein sources.

I’m going to go try another new brand of cat food but I’m curious if other pet owners have noticed their cats refusing to eat Purina products or having sudden behavior issues that cats use to tell you they don’t like something. Either it’s the food or somehow a kitty stomach virus is making the rounds. Whatever it is I’d like to solve this mystery soon and get my cats back to normal.