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I began life as any old person does. I was born, I lived and grew up. I got my certificates and trophies and diplomas. All that jazz was and done and checked off my list.

This is where things get interesting.

University

This is the part where I tell you I went into an establishment where I was opened up to a world of higher learning. Where an eccentric professor in a sweater-vest with daring facial hair would tell me to abandon the constricted, shambles of a process I called learning and open my eyes unto a new world of learning and enlightenment. Higher Education! No. I was left in a wasteland no better than the 6th form I left behind. A vast (very small, actually) campus, a never-ending popularity contest where everyone knew who everyone slept with and there was no such thing as trading up. Nah mate, trade was strictly sideways – If you know what I mean.

It was in the first week that we met. I saw her in her beachwear at the indoor beach party in the dungeon they called Club Below Zero- I guess they figured it was clever because it was two floors below ground, hip, I know. She was surrounded by drinks from the one guy running circles around her. I looked to Willowy and asked if she was single he nodded yes, I smiled and bided my time. She’d come to me, I knew she would. Call it prescience. I spoke to her in an hour and she looked up at me as I looked down at her, into her beautiful browns and we knew.

We danced the night, circling each other, I had to squat a little when it came to bumping and grinding but she had do-me heels on and I did do her, to the music anyway. The songs were our conversation as sweat poured down her back on to my front, the lights strobed and I felt her heat as we broke apart to circle each other. Club Below Zero was dead to us, for those four hours we danced in and out of tune and you know what? It didn’t even matter, because she knew just as I’d known that she would come to me in the darkness.

I had a memory of her firmly in my heart, or at least the sweat off her back mixed with mine drying on my chest. I’d ask her to come over for a movie, I told Willowy, we’d become friends and I would tell her stories. She beat me to it, though. She called me, said she was ill and was coming over. I told her I’d make her hot chocolate and give her a massage if she asked nicely. It was a Thursday night.

She came over. I made her hot chocolate and tucked her under my covers. I told her a story about my old school and held her for the night. Well most of it anyway-If you know what I mean...