To You Who Are Still Trying

If you are not where you want to be yet and still trying really really hard, do not be disheartened and do not give up. It could be a big house that you really really want to live in or a goal of just scoring an interview with a company you always wanted to work for. Big dreams, small dreams – they’re all the same. Like what Jared Leto tweeted…

It is never wrong and it is definitely not embarrassing. It is okay to share your goals, even if it sounds crazy right now. It is okay to not be anywhere near your goals yet. Just do not be afraid.

You will be mocked at.

Trust me, I know that feeling. I’m not even talking about big dreams here. It is even the smallest things you dreamt of, could be mocked at. Mocked at by anyone – even the closest of family and friends. I know how it feels. Let me list one example that happened with my family many many years back that we still bring up to date – when I was 14yo in Secondary 2, I casually told my family that I was thinking of making it to a JC, which was unthought of at that point because we never cared about grades or doing exceptionally well academically.

I just suddenly had an idea of going to JC but my sisters and my parents literally laughed it off and said I would never make it. I was quite upset at that point thinking that they didn’t have faith in me neither did they encourage me (but of course it’s only this one-off incident since I don’t exactly study very hard; otherwise they’re always encouraging). I threw this goal aside and thought the same that I would never make it. But of course the end story was I still did my best and I eventually made it to a JC – which I am not exactly very fond of either because I really really really hated my 2 years in JC (LOL), and trust me, going to a JC doesn’t mean shit.

When I realised that people were just going to mock at my goals, I just kept them to myself. But I never stopped working towards what I want even subconsciously.

Know that it is okay to be lacking.

You are not where you want to be right now because you are still lacking. You are still working on yourself. And that is entirely okay. People who mock at you are going to keep mocking at you because your dreams and goals seem too “far-fetched”. And it seems far-fetched because they see the gap between what you are right now and where/what you want to be. But what they see is on the outside and what you choose to show.

Keep doing you. Be aware that you are not enough yet, but DON’T let this stop you. Don’t let it get to your head that you are not enough. Know that you are not enough AND keep working on it.

It is only an issue if you actually think you are already enough. Look at the most obnoxious people around you that you’ve ever met at work/social settings, one thing in common about all these people is that they always think they’re too good for something. When one starts thinking that one is too good for something, they stop improving. And remember that when they stop improving, everyone else who thinks they’re not enough are still working on themselves and actually moving up.

Stay focused. Even though if it may look like you’re not.

It IS difficult – I know it. There are SO many distractions in life. Just look at me. Every weekend I struggle – do I get home and sleep early or do I head out and meet my friends for a drink? Truth is as what people always say – WORK-LIFE BALANCE. I can’t see myself working hard if I don’t have a good weekend enjoying myself. After all, we work so hard only to spend and enjoy ourselves right?!

I believe in staying focused generally: Work hard play hard. People ALWAYS judge me and assume that all I do is club/drink. But I’m totally okay with it because I know the only person I need to account to is myself. As long as I know I have been working really hard and being efficient, I don’t have to bother with what anyone else says.

BUT DO NOT play so hard that it gets in the way of you doing what you actually have to do. And it works the same way – don’t work so hard that you don’t have the energy to head out and meet your friends or spend time with your family. Really, you need to learn to fucking balance this shit out.

Do not be afraid to keep doing you.

Despite all the setbacks and discouraging things people say, I never lose track of what I know I want eventually. I keep working towards them even in the smallest ways possible. We are all afraid of judgment and how the society looks at us.

You may be having the weirdest occupation with no prospects (deemed as “wtf r u doin?” by typical Asians) but if that is what you really see yourself doing, GO AHEAD. Why would anyone else’s opinion even matter? You don’t owe them shit. You don’t ask them to pay your bills. So why should their comments matter?

I strongly believe that people who discourage you from doing what you want are people who feel inferior to your guts. All of us are human beings – it is only natural for us to be salty when we see someone who can be that carefree and do whatever he/she wants while the rest of us slog it out like robots. Going after a 9-5 job because welfare, benefits, pay, annual leave. Secretly, everyone wants to be doing something special and more accomplishing. But not everyone has the guts to take the risks, failure and judgment that come with it. Not everyone has the guts to share their dreams because “it may sound crazy”.

But guess what? You are the one who was “crazy to dream big” AND you are the one who will make it.

“There is no passion to be found playing small–in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela

The inspiration for writing this post: I had a sudden realisation some time this week that I have been blessed with doing what I want and feeling how I want to feel. I am happy being in a startup right now (first full-time job) because it was all I wanted to do at one point in my life. I don’t know, I just feel so excited to be here everyday and I don’t dread going to work and ending late.

I am happy to be writing on this wordpress every week because it was also all I wanted to do when I was young. I am happy in so many ways – friends, family, job. I am blessed and I am only blessed because I never stopped working towards all of the little things I have ever wanted to do at any point of my life.

I am not someone who would actually read motivational articles and then instantly feel inspired. I can be quite skeptical but I do think it is necessary to write this because it is personal. When everyone was laughing at the little silly things I do, I was not afraid of still doing it. And I am happy now. 🙂 I just thought that if a silly little girl like I was in the past has never stopped working towards the little things I do right now, nobody else should feel disheartened with what they want to achieve.

And nobody should feel afraid of fighting for what they want. Have a good week ahead guys 😀