The old rule about white after Labor Day and it being a summer color, has been out of vogue for a few years now. However, there are still times when white is inappropriate. Funerals spring to mind as being the number one most inappropriate place, along with weddings (unless you are the bride, or it’s white-tie). But what about the office? What makes white on a pant such an offensive color in the office? Offensive to me, at least.

First, it’s the fabric choice. Linen, lightweight cotton or tropical-weight wool? Definitely a no-no in the office. Those are far more casual than necessary and they end up looking like you came straight from Bermuda to your cubicle. Also, there’s a sheerness factor here that is usually ignored. My personal opinion is that no one, and I mean NO ONE, should be able to look at your pants and see what color/style your underwear are. So make sure those pants aren’t see-through and if they are – don’t wear your leopard-print string bikini-briefs. So what fabric can be white and still classy and sophisticated? Twill (be careful – you don’t want to look like a painter) or winter-weight wool.

Second, it’s the color. Some khaki pants are so close to white, you could say they were off-white. I have no problem with this – it’s a twill. But a bright white? Save that for a Tide commercial or the Palm Springs White Party. A creamy white color is probably the best thing here.

As for white shirts? Those are pretty much appropriate anytime, but please remember that sometimes, the material is so thin that you can see your nipples. And that’s never appropriate at an office.

I’m not a totally vicious bitch and I rarely complain about some of the stuff people wear, because well, some people don’t have a problem looking like crap in public. And that’s okay. For them. But that doesn’t mean I won’t go off on them here for dressing like they rolled out of bed and put on whatever grimy clothes they found on the floor.

So, I’m against capri pants. I loathe that they made a comeback a few years (YEARS!) ago and now they are hanging on by a thread. They are the leggings of the late 90s. Now, leggings are popular NOW, but in the late 90s, they weren’t. So the capri pant is out of style. Particularly the ones that stop like an inch above the ankle. WHY!?!?!? That’s so unnecessary and to me, it looks like you just grew too tall for your pants. It’s tacky and worse, now I have to see your socks.

Which brings me to a sock faux pas. Seriously, guys. WHITE SOCKS GO WITH ATHLETIC SHOES. BLACK SOCKS GO WITH BLACK SHOES. Also, I am of the belief that if you are wearing blue pants, you should wear brown shoes. Because then you can wear blue socks. But if you wear blue pants with black shoes, you should wear black socks. This is confusing. But blue socks often look the same as black socks in anything but the brightest light. So guys, buy black socks. ONLY.

Ok – I’m done for this entry. I’ll have another entry later this week with some shopping tips. Because everyone seems to need them.