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The Boss: Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit.
Im putting you personally in charge Make sure they use the right technology.
Elbonia
OOPS
elbonian: I hope those things aren't expensive.

Share January 25, 1994's comic on:

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Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program.
Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot.
Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this.
Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A coworker approaches and says, "Can you come to the product-launch party next week?" Dilbert responds, "No. I'll be working day and night for five years to build the product you think you're launching." The coworker says, "Something tells me you don't add much to a party." Dilbert responds, "You haven't seen my mime impression."

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My space defense shield detects an incoming threat. I am launching intercept rockets. "Apparently the boys at Google used a death ray to blast the international space station out of orbit and toward our house." "Why do you have a space defense shield?" "Doesn't that seem like a stupid question now?"

Transcript

CEO: The company has two exciting announcements. We are launching a new artificial meat product. In unrelated news, our manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots. Wow. It got quiet in here. Dilbert: I don't want to say we have no trust in senior management, but... did you order the robots to kill all of the manufacturing employees and turn them into a meat product? CEO: Before I answer that, can we agree that capitalism has some rough edges?

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Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month.
Dilbert: Because cake is healthy?
Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.

Transcript

dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product.
boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department.
dilbert: you caused the problem.
boss: who told you it was a fair world.