Thursday, September 25, 2008

Talkin' Heads #15

Step-Up: Heather, the MC, is sitting in the sandbox with her four-year-old son. She's trying to get him to tell her what they were doing that morning.

I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t help but find humor in my son owning a plastic cow with superpowers and anorexia. “Does Supercow have any other special tricks?”

Elias didn’t answer.

I wiggled my toes, and he whacked the collapsing sand around my feet with a plastic shovel. “Where’d you go with Nick this morning?”

“Shopping.”

Raising an eyebrow, I pressed him for more information on why I awoke in only the company of his nanny and the housekeeper. “Shopping? For what?”

“Can’t tell you,” he said. “It’s a secwet.”

Elias’ happy singsong told me he had a good time. As the only father my son had ever known, he and Nick had an inseparable bond cemented through a mutual love of baseball and fast cars.

“Nick’s your hero. Isn’t he?”

“He pwomised to take me to Bear Pawrk tomorrow aftew dinnew.”

Restraining a smile, I wiggled my toes again. "You mean Berra Park?"

“That’s what I said – Bear Pawrk,” Elias grumbled.

The movement of my feet caused a pint-sized avalanche that drew a low growl from him. He glared at my slowly building laughter. “Can you see my cwabby? It’s getting bumpy.”

The name he had given to his – or any other – forehead furrowed in irritation nourished my humor until my shaking body eked an apology, but Nick’s entrance through the iron gates of the garden diverted his attention.

12 comments:

Pawrk tripped me up... I couldn't figure out how I'd say that quite aloud, I had to try it out, but I couldn't do it witout putting another vowel in there... like Pawark. The combo of wrk just seems a bit complex for usual kidlet talk.

Very cute voice for the child—authentic and honest as only a four-year-old can manage. And definitely spot-on with the bit about the park—kids hear what they want to hear and that’s that. My only caution (not a dialogue response) is that there’s a lot of Telling from your MC’s POV (specifically the parts explaining why Nick is Elias’ hero and the forehead thing)—they might be told better in dialogue.

I did LOVE that opening bit about the cow with anorexia. Very unique and funny!!!