…and Other Unlikely Places

Show, Don’t Tell (Tip #46)

“Ultimately, it all comes down to one of the grand old rules of screenwriting: whenever possible – show, don’t tell.”Ray MortonScript magazine

The Verdict

An early version of The Verdict screenplay by David Mamet:
INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY
Galvin sitting in the deserted coffee shop in his raincoat.
Reading a section of the paper. He picks up his teacup, drinks.
Lowers it to the table.
ANGLE - INSERT
Galvin twists tea bag around a spoon to extract last drops of
tea. His hand moves to his felt pen lying on the table. He
moves his hand to the paper, open at the obituary section. We
SEE several names crossed out. He circles one funeral listing.
ANGLE
Galvin sitting, raises cup of tea to his lips. Looks around
deserted coffee shop. Sighs.Now look again at the above still frame from that movie. Notice anything different? No tea cup, right? Either Mamet, or director Sidney Lumet, or actor Paul Newman, or somebody else said, "This guy's an alcoholic—what better way of showing that than to have him knocking back a stiff one with his morning donut?" Newman's performance in that scene shows you the desperate state this man is in without a word being spoken. In fact, the whole opening minutes of the film wonderfully shows you a man in need of redemption. "IF YOU PRETEND THE CHARACTERS CANT SPEAK, AND WRITE A SILENT MOVIE, YOU WILL BE WRITING GREAT DRAMA. IF YOU DEPRIVE YOURSELF OF THE CRUTCH OF NARRATION, EXPOSITION, INDEED, OF SPEECH. YOU WILL BE FORGED TO WORK IN ANEW MEDIUM - TELLING THE STORY IN PICTURES (ALSO KNOWN AS SCREENWRITING).
David Mamet
Memo to The Unit writers

“This is age-old screenwriting advice but it’s so true. SHOW don’t TELL. I can’t tell you how much more impactful it is on a reader to SEE a character take on an issue as opposed to being told of an issue. It would be like Han Solo saying ‘I’m a badass,’ instead of SHOWING him kill Greedo. This is a mistake I see a TON of beginner writers make. They have their characters offhandedly say something like ‘I took a year of karate lessons’ and then later in a key scene kick someone’s ass. It feels false because we never SAW them perform karate.” Carson Reeves

“In the eternal struggle to “show” and not “tell” in your screenplays, pictures can be your best friend. Instead of building a whole scene where your characters argue about how good things ‘used to be,’ just show your hero catch a glance of a picture on the fridge showing the family in happier times. In fact, look to use photographs in every aspect of your script to convey quick easy backstory about your characters (i.e. need to convey that one character is adventurous? Show a picture of them rock climbing.”Carson ReevesScriptShadow

Meta

“Poverty was always a living and evil thing to me.” Moss Hart (on his childhood in the Bronx and Brooklyn) Before Moss Hart become the wonder boy of Broadway at age 26, before be would buy a farmhouse on 87 acres in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, and before he won a Pulitzer Prize in Drama, he […]