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Monday, May 30, 2016

Let's Get Real

I am gaining weight..... not just a few pounds. I have packed on 40 lbs and I need to be real and honest about how that is making me feel. My lowest weight was 190 and it remains my goal weight. Last summer and until December I was only about 20 lbs away from that. Now I am 40. This is the cycle that most people who have weight issues fall into. We fall into this I need to lose 5 lbs and then it turns into 40.

I am going to share my own struggle, but my hope is that someone can relate. It is in sharing our story and struggle that we can have those "ME TOO" moments that connect us. Here is what I attribute to my weight gain:

-complaceny
-allowing a small bump in routine to throw it all off
-"one bad meal, means a bad day"
-"I will refocus on Monday." AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN
- I don't feel good
- I have to work (2 DAYS A WEEK)
- procrastination; sometimes later becomes never

Excuses are well planned lies. Let's be honest.
So here I am feeling like a busted can of biscuits, reminding myself that I need to be kind to myself, but also GETTING PISSED OFF. I know what I did, I know what I am doing, heck even as I am stuffing my face with a million Trader Joes peanut butter pretzels, the perfect combination of sugar and salt, I am messaging my clients about their goals and meal plans.....I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO and I AM NOT DOING IT!

So the question has to be asked, do I even know WHY I have this issue? And then I pour myself into personal development and I pray about it and I find my answer, my life is so full, my stomach doesn't have to be. See I have an eating disorder, that most people don't think exists, I am an Overeater and I eat when I am not hungry and when I am full and I will sometimes eat until I am physically sick. I thought I had a good handle on this until recently. And now I have been seeing it happen almost daily. I eat when I am happy, sad, stressed, board, and FULL. It is affecting my workouts because I am tired, sluggisha nd well, I don't feel good about who I am.

I have to share this and be vulnerable, because that is what Phat Chances is built on...acountability to do what I said I would. I will be sharing what I do over the next 21 days. Thisis my journal of sorts to myself and to anyone who needs the same kind of help. I am not a professional but I am a person and there have been so many times that I speak with my clients (who really are my Coaches, because they help me more than they will ever know) and we both stop to say "ME TOO".