Once you have accepted that a care facility is the only way to proceed if both you and your spouse are to survive the progression of the chronic illness, and you have chosen a facility that is appropriate for your spouse, the next step is to adjust to your new role as care giver.

It is our fantasy, our illusion, our wishful thinking (supported by the movie industry and our own values) that as we age or become ill, we will be cared for by our ever-smiling and patient spouses and children, surrounded by our loving, laughing, cherubic grandchildren whose sole wish is to hug and kiss us and listen to our stories.