How To Design A Personal Code To Live By (Vincent Menniti)

This is a guest post from my friend Vincent Menniti. Vincent runs a great blog over at Andreia Thoughts that deals with masculinity, mindset, making money, and much more. Vincent got the name for his blog from the Greek concept of Andreia which means masculine energy, spirit, and honor something much needed in today’s world. You can follow Vincent on twitter here for site updates as well as insights from Vincent himself. Enjoy.

What’s so important about following your own laws?

For centuries men have had a guide to live by. Sometimes it was religion, sometimes, something else. It can be a guide, a creed, a constitution. The Spartans, Thumos. The Templars, Christianity. The Navy Seals have the creed. What about us? Do you have laws that you follow, or nothing?

With religion currently being usurped by science, many men are left without a path. Without a clear moral compass or sense of direction. Have you been there before? It’s a feeling as if every day is blending together. Like every day is a step backward and you don’t know where. I know I have.

In my early twenties I had no structure in my life. I was still a deep thinker, but tended to block my deeper desires for that of what was directly in front of me. Easy women, and partying. I looked at porn multiple times a day. Let Sledge tell you, porn is never fulfilling. I didn’t have any goals or anything that I could become. I couldn’t comprehend there was a future. Just like a child would behave. I was consuming, and ignoring. I was the best at hiding from problems. Growing up in a traditional catholic family instilled a way forward for me, then reading happened. Reading, the best and worst thing to happen to me pulled me out of the god mindset. The more I read, the less faith I had. The less faith I had, the more I did whatever I want without purpose. I wanted faith in something. I didn’t know what that something was. I threw away right and wrong, and fell victim to my hedonistic needs.

Instead of walking down a path, I walked in circles.

A smart man once told me that “the more discipline you have, the more freedom you have too.”

I didn’t understand what that meant then. Now, it’s starting to connect with me. What ultimately gives you more freedom, staying out until 5am drinking with friends trying to run away from our problems? Or, waking up at 5am, hitting the gym, and grinding out hours on a new project all of Saturday. The answer my friends, is the latter.

The Importance of Creating A Code.

My blog at Andreia Thoughts is my way of creating a code to live by for men, for myself. While many prefer gray areas, I prefer black and white. Yes or no. Up or down. I don’t like meeting in the middle. Extreme as it is, it works. Simple is easier to remember. Many will disagree that this isn’t the way to approach life. Frankly, I don’t believe there is a single way to approach anything.

However, you do need an approach.

You need a code.

If you expect to get anywhere in this world you need standards cemented into your brain. Standards that, if broken, wretch at your heart and mind. Your standards. Without a compass, you won’t get anywhere, will you? Create your code. Take pieces from my code, Sledge’s advice, and books you read to create your lifestyle, your destiny and your future. It doesn’t matter if it’s stolen or borrowed. What matters is that it gets done.

Currently, I’m in my late twenties. While I don’t regret my past, there is so much more I could have done if I had a guide. Between the time of 17-22 I lived at home. I hated it. I did nothing about it, because nothing was inherently wrong. I didn’t have a standard that said “Vincent. You’re being a fucking pussy. This goes against everything you believe in.” Now the thought of staying with family is more sinful than stealing from a child.

Because I didn’t really believe in anything.

Andreia Doctrine

Now I believe in the Andreia Doctrine.

I’ve created it. It’s mine, I own it. I’m happy to share it with all who want to listen, if it so helps you. Steal from it, copy it, and criticize it. I’ll change it when I need to. I’ll let it sit the same for years if that’s best.

I know where I’m going, and what is important to me.

Do you? How?

Is your constitution available for you at any time to reference?

Mine is, so I’m never lost.

What does your code looks like?

I don’t know. You know, but you may not know where to look. How do you feel after eating fast food? Bad, or good? Accomplished, or wasteful? This is what you ask yourself to begin building your code.

While you may feel good after playing call of duty for 6 hours on Sunday, what have you actually done?

You’ve done nothing. You’re cells have died, your heart has become weaker, another opportunity to build your dreams has vanished.

This is how you must evaluate yourself. This is the level of introspection you must come to when deciding how to live your life. You need to analyze nearly every action you take, and is taken subconsciously. Look at where you spend the most time. Write it down and evaluate at the end of the day. Where your time is being spent is what you’re currently valuing. If it’s the wrong thing, better get changing. Your breathing, what’s it like? Strong and open, or shallow and frantic? Adapt as required.

You can treat this as a regular blog post. Skim it while working, briefly read the parts that you agree with, disregard what you don’t. Or you take action. You can decide, right now, that you’re tired of running around in circles. You need to progress. You want to conquer. Then do it. Create your dream lifestyle, full of discipline and challenge. This is the only way for you to find true fulfillment. Wandering will not cut it.

Ten Tips For Designing Your Code

Not sure where to start? Below are my top 10 tips for designing your code. Thank you for reading.

Tip #1 – Have your code in evernote, not paper. This way you have everything you need at all times. Phone, Computer, Tablet.

I read a similar article years ago on Art of Manliness. He called it keeping a hold of your N.U.T.’s (Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms). The premise is the same; create a creed for your life and follow them without exception. This is something I encourage every man to do. I did it at one point, but put it on paper instead of Evernote (shame on me) and now have lost them. Guess it’s time to remake them.
Also, I agree with the black and white approach to decisions. Too many gray areas in mentally fatiguing. Life becomes much simpler and much less stressful when you can make quick, simple yes/no decisions. Come to think of it, that would make a great code to live by.

Agreed. I remember that article as well. I read the book hold onto your nuts and while if reading it now it would be okay at best, at that time in my life it was certainly a step in the right direction.