Breaking the rules When you roll this Dice you end up with zeros

DICE RULES,'' the Andrew Dice Clay ''concert'' movie, begins with a 20-minute dramatization of the early life of the star, who, according to this segment, was a Jerry Lewis-type nerd.

When the opening portion is complete, you're rather glad, but when the ''concert'' itself begins -- at Madison Square Garden -- you begin to look back on the first 20 minutes with a kind of nostalgia, a yearning for the good old 20 minutes.

''Dice Rules'' was to have been distributed by 20th Century Fox, who dropped it when Clay received so much unfavorable publicity about his anti-woman, anti-ethnic ''obscene'' material.

The studio may have had another reason for dropping the film: It's dull.

Oh, sure, it's obscene, but in a world where four sisters on a prime-time television show talk about multiple orgasms, you wonder if the press isn't being a little selective.

Clay is vile, but worse than that, he's a bore. A few jokes about pubic hair, genitalia and masturbation are quite enough. One joke about cripples is too much, and 87 minutes of all this may be 80 minutes too much.

His nursery rhyme jokes are good for a laugh or two, but we've heard all these before, and they wear thin after repeated exposure.

This, however, may be part of the Clay charm. His followers say all the rhyme lines along with the master, and this audience participation may be the best of the concert. Clay's impersonations of people like Sylvester Stallone, John Travolta, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro may be the worst of the concert. They're not that good and are never that funny.

''Dice rules,'' in which Dice Clay also makes jokes about the Japanese, deformity, midgets and stutterers, is playing at the Golden Ring Cinema. If you think humor at the expense of little people and cripples is funny, even fair, then this is the movie for you. If you find all this unfunny, if you find repeated jokes about copulation unamusing, then forget it.

Many of those in the preview audience roared at much of what Clay said. The men laughed most. The women who were with these men might give some thought to their choice of company.