Cycle 3- Why is there a friggin tarantula on my face?!

This photoshoot is pretty scary. I’d probably be in the Eva camp in terms of fear — Crying and asking stupid questions like ‘Are we posing with the spider or the person holding it?’.

This, of course, was a horribly sad elimination. I love Toccara and I think she’s by far the best plus-size role model they’ve ever had on the show. Her photos had slid considerably by now, so I s’pose it was logical, but the reasoning given was crap. ‘You’ve lost your personality’. Right, because everyone was treating her like she was some sort of glutton. I would have lost mine too. JUST WANTED TO THROW THAT IN THERE.

PHOTO TIME.

Eva-

Considering how scared she was, she pulled out one HELL of a picture. She gets a little criticism on message boards and stuff for the odd placement of the hand, but I completely disagree. I think she looks like she’s sexily peeking through her fingers. Eyes are insane. The rings are perfectly showcased (it IS a jewelry ad, after all). Two weeks in a row… Our winner is finally proving herself.

Yaya-

First of all, can we please laugh at this picture being titled “Yayaspider”? Yay, a spider! This is an extremely close runner-up for best picture of the week. For once, Nole Fucking Marin speaks the truth. Yaya looks like a chocolate Barbarella. The rings looks amazing, her eyes are sexy and sultry. I think her mouth is the only thing that keeps this from #1. Hot picture.

(Insert massive gap of awesomeness)

Nicole-

There is such a creepy quality to this picture that none of the others have. I love the finger touching the lip, which kind of distracts from the decidedly awkward facial expression she has– The mouth is a LITTLE stiff. She looks like she’s watching me, which kind of makes up for the diamonds not being sold as well as the above two. Overall, another ferocious picture from my Nicole.

Amanda-

There is a very old fashioned sexiness to this picture, so I don’t understand why the judges were compelled to literally piss all over it. She looks glam, but she just doesn’t nail it like the others. I wish she hadn’t done the Eva-esque hand placement, because it distracts from those gorgeous eyes (which have looked better, I’ll note). She does a good job highlighting the jewelry though.

Ann-

Here comes trouble… Now, this is a pretty unpopular opinion… Many people think she should have been eliminated this week but this is a MODELING competition, not a personality contest, and there are some positives here. Her mouth is a mess… It looks tense BUT! when you look at it more and more, there’s a weird beauty to how nervous she looks. There obviously isn’t a refreshing ‘so what’ like Eva’s picture, but it’s not a mess. Not at all. Ann is lucky, because she’s hot as hell.

Norelle-

I don’t know what it is about this, but it just doesn’t work for me. I think her eyes look dead and there’s a stiffness in her mouth that doesn’t make sense, like Ann’s did. It’s not an elimination worthy shot or anything, but her eyes only stand out because of the makeup, not any intensity she’s giving. Also, her fingers are kind of digging into her face, which looks blah. Beautiful girl, but this is a step back for her.

Toccara-

The most perplexing thing about this picture is her ring finger. WHERE IS IT?! It appears to be sticking straight out but then you follow the line of her finger and IT’S HER LIP! It’s like the scariest, optical illusion ever, including that weird old woman/young woman thing:

But I digress. It pains me to put her here, but there’s absolutely no energy in this. The tarantula is far more noticeable than the jewelry. Her skin rocks, as always, but the eyes are just about to roll back in her head. PET PEEVE ALERT.

Eva’s is easily the best, she looks amazing, the rings stand out incredibly well, and the spider is sort of…beautiful. It’s clearly there, she’s clearly handling it well, but it doesn’t dominate the picture, and in the gloom it’s sort of not allowed to make the whole shot too disgusting.

Yaya looks soooo gorgeous here, I think if it was a beauty shot she’d be the easy winner, but I think her whole pose is putting far more emphasis on her gorgeous face than on the jewelry. She’s just a woman who happens to be wearing rings, and I don’t think she handles the spider with anywhere near as much…badassery as Eva does.

Don’t really like Nicole’s at all, the ring stands out okayyyyyyyy, but I think the spider crawling on her face sort of snatches all of the attention away from anything else in the shot.

Right! For a change, I’m going to stand up for poor Amanda who you’re always ragging on (must be a self loathing thing or something, I dunno). I LOVE that little bit of ginger looking hair creeping in the corner, and how it, combined with her gorgeous skin, thick eye lashes and piercing blue eyes all sort of make her look far hotter than anybody else, I also think that the ring really stands out far better than Nicole or Yaya, and the spider works well. I think it’s basically a slightly less awesome version of Eva’s.

I really like Ann’s a lot, she looks nice, the rings sort of stand out, despite being really little and not that…standing outish anyway.

Norelle looks like she’s dressing up for Halloween or something, the frizzy black hair, the black nail polish, the dark dark eye shadow, and the stupid spider on the face thing again…oh yeah…she’s wearing rings.

Toccara’s picture is just comedic, I mean from what you can see of it, her face actually looks really great…it’s just obscured by this big effing spider, the placement of the spider does sorrrrrrrrrrt of help the jewelry to stand out, but it’s still the spider that your eyes go to every time. It’s also very interesting about the finger…it’s very obvious to me that she’s finger f_cking the arachnid.