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Nicki Minaj Performs for Angolan Dictator, Farts a Hole in Her Nylon

I wouldn’t expect a person as vacuous and self-obsessed as Nicki Minaj to, you know, give a fuck about other people and their suffering,and my expectations we’re well met Saturday when Nicki traveled to Angola to perform at a holiday party hosted by Unitel, a telecom company controlled by the country’s ruthless dictator, José Eduardo, to the tune of $2 million.

Dos Santos has ruled Angola since 1979, exerting control through rigged elections and suppression of dissent.

This year, his regime killed some 200 members of an opposition party and imprisoned 17 activists for reading about nonviolent resistance.

He stole at least $32 billion in oil revenue from his country, the International Monetary Fund alleges.

Nearly 70 percent of Angola’s 21 million citizens survive on less than $2 per day, and few have regular electricity.

In response to the outrage expressed over her receiving money most likely stolen from people who can’t afford one of her songs on itunes, Minaj posted the above picture of her bejeweled backside. Let them eat ass!

Because I’m more of a areola girl, the only thing I noticed in this picture was the hole right about where her butt hole should be. My scientific mind immediately knew the only thing that could have caused such destruction in a well-made and expensive piece of nylon is gas. Explosive, acrid, hair-singing gas. And obviously, I’m a mature, well-adjusted adult who doesn’t make fun of celebrities to escape my family and ho-hum, unsatisfying existence.