Today was a victory. I took my kids to the ice cream parlor to celebrate because one of my kiddos had mastered his times tables through 12's. They both had ice cream in front of me, and I had to resist and order chili instead of a burger. I did it!!! And barely suffered.

I feel great. As many here repeat, "You'll never regret passing on the snack/seconds/treats. You often will regret indulging."

Saturday will be here before I know it. In the meantime, I want to feel this way --moderate and satiated, not bloated and guilty._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Looks like a yummy day. I’m so impressed at how hour food choices have changed over the years. I remember you used to describe your diet as being “like a teenage boy” and seemed reluctant to give it up. Guess something changed for you along the way._________________"Above all, be the heroine of your life and not the victim.” Nora Ephron

Linda -- I know!!!! I can't believe it either. I guess that the desire to avoid regret is now greater than the desire to eat however I want. I think that health concerns were the final tipping point for me, rather than any logical knowledge of what good nutritional choices are.

I have noted, though, that my willingness to change what's on the plate only extends to avoiding refined carbs..... not yet to increasing salads & veggies. But just as this step couldn't be rushed (apparently, haha), I'm not ready to move to the more veggies/salads step until I'm ready. And it's not even that I don't like vegges and salads! I do! I just hate making them (and buying stuff that goes bad in the fridge). Anyhoo, maybe the day will come.

Thanks for stopping by. I've missed you and I'm glad you're swinging in here from time to time. It seemed like right when I came back you were about to start a hiatus from the boards. So I'll be glad whenever I do "see" you around here.

Larkspur -- it took me FOUR years of NoSing to get to a point where the desire to keep my blood sugar and blood pressure maintained outweighed my desire to eat refined carbs, at least on N days, haha -- I definitely need the release valve for the weekends.

B: oatmeal w/pb
L: very late, I was hungry, only place was a fancy pizza place. I had to turn down gourmet-style pizza at an upscale restaurant and instead I chose the soup & salad -- both loaded with kale & yummy veggies. That said, I suspect there was sugar in the dressing and in the broth of the soup. Oh well! I say I succeeded beautifully under the HIGHLY tempting circumstances. (note: I have a mod of no added sugar on N days)
D: very late again!!! It was BINGO night at my son's school, so there was free popcorn and italian sodas. Had to pass that up. But there's more! On the drive home (8pm), my husband went through the McD's drive-through. The smell of french fries filled the car. But I waited. And then at home had my leftover black beans & corn from last night.

Would whole wheat be refined? Just wondering because of the corn tortillas... which I, too, eat while limiting bread of any kind to only a few times a week. I do sometimes miss the artisan whole wheat bread from Trader Joe's. But it had that effect of making me want to tear out the innards of half the loaf to half gorge on and butter and warm the rest. I usually save the flour items for social occasions, though I'm not a purist even at that. In my mind, I make up for it by actually cooking and eating the whole kernel versions of oats and rye, as well as barley, which not many people I've met do.

Aren't I (BIG I) the saint. _________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

I contemplated the whole bread thing quite a bit, and ended up thinking that whole wheat bread with no added sugar would be fine.

But I find it VERY challenging to find a store-bought bread that doesn't have added sugar! I mean, really? Is it in (virtually) all of the breads?

So I could make my own. Ha, any reader of my thread knows that it would take me 20 years to get ready for that. Haha But since I enjoy corn tortillas and they are always on hand, that's what I'm going with.

And I've never been a big sandwich fan.

So, in short, I could have no-sugar added whole wheat bread during the week and still be following my no-refined-carb mod._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

I get it. If the flour is made from the original whole grain, you don't consider it refined. Fair enough.

And yes, there is sugar in just about everything, though it can be a very small fraction of the total. Much less than in a piece of fruit but without any of the bennies, admittedly. I understand the draw of the experiment. I sometimes flirt with the idea of giving up my stevia to see if the thrill of sweets would go away, but it's still not painful enough to compare to ripping off that bandaid, as pitiful as that sounds. I'll just keep living with the tradeoff.

Have a great hump N day._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Well, I had a (mod) fail today. My 12 yo son procrastinated on a project and I did not help him -- so he ended up staying up late last night and getting up early. Then our printer didn't work, so I drove him to print it before school. Then had to go back home, get my other kid, and take him to the babysitter's house (we have started homeschooling my 8 yo, at his request -- it is making life fairly WILD right now, but I haven't shared much about it yet on this thread). Anyway, I'm too tired to explain the whole morning ordeal but basically I blew up at the kids. Then on the way to drive one of them to school, we went through coffee drive through and I -- very intentionally -- decided to fail and get myself some carbolicious pick-me-ups. I chose an egg sandwich, so it could have been worse, but the croissant was definitely (and deliciously) refined.

You figured the egg sandwich had sugar in it, so you might as well go for the latte... Completely understand.

Thank you for not helping your son. Oh, the times i have gotten work from kids and just knew parents helped a LOT or just plain did the whole thing. Awkward when it went back with a C. Thankfully the parent didn't follow the directions or obviously couldn't really know what the assignment was supposed to really be about, since it was often based on class work done over a period of time. They of course could never call and protest.

AND thank you for going to the print place rather than show up saying, the printer didn't work AT THE LAST MINUTE.

So, Thursday and Friday will be greeeen._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

I'm kind of losing my mind. This has certainly happened in the past (generally once a year I go a bit cray-cray). As in, feel like either crying or screaming or swearing at most times. So, on the one hand it feels familiar. On the other hand, it still startles me that I can go from somewhat normal to feeling completely out-of-control.

There's usually a trigger. This time the trigger was MOST DECIDEDLY the unexpected decision to homeschool my 3rd grader. He's had a rough year, poor kid -- 3 different teachers (don't even ask....), and I think a couple kids in the class have been really mean to him (I'm still trying to figure out that piece of the puzzle). Anyway, this little guy knew we had homeschooled his older brother until 3rd grade, and so he asked if that could be an option for him. My husband and I discussed it and decided to give it a 2-week trial. I kind of figured he'd decide school was more fun. But no. 2 weeks in and he was still loving it. So here we are, about a month in to this venture. My emotions have been ROLLER-COASTER. Everything bad you've ever thought about homeschooling? I torture myself with those fears. So please be gentle if you comment (which is probably why I haven't posted this yet -- I'm afraid people will be like, "dude, what are you thinking? Put the kid back in school and you won't be crazy anymore!!!"). The first week was hell as I tried to reconnect with the old homeschooling networks and find childcare. My husband and I rearranged a juggling schedule so that one of us is home most of the time.

But we believe in what we are doing. My little 8 year old has already relaxed so much, stopped having nightmares, is happy in his world of inventions, board games, and art. He still gets to play with a variety of kids every week, but he doesn't seem to crave the daily social interaction (and leadership opportunities, haha) like his older brother does. And one other thing: I have always loved homeschooling -- it was a joy for me until the workload overwhelmed me and I put the kids in school 3 years ago. And that was with my defiant older son!!!

Of everyone in the house, I think the dog is happiest because he's rarely home alone anymore.

I keep thinking about quitting my job. I already have the most flexible, greatest job on the planet. I feel like a freaking schmuck for wanting to quit. The double income allows us to sign the kids up for sports, hobby classes, and take little trips. I need it to help pay for possible college; and obviously for retirement, etc. And knowing me, I would really miss the mental challenge and the deep intellectual pursuits.

My husband says for me to not do anything rash; but instead wait for next fall, when I will no longer have the (3 years of hellish) admin duties, and his schedule will also be much more sane. He says just wait to see if I still feel the same way then. So. Wise advice, but when I'm in one of my cray-cray times, it's hard to be rational.

Oh, gosh. This thread is such a funny journal of my life. The closest thing to a diary I've kept in decades._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Big hugs. For what it’s worth I think you’re doing the right thing. I once did a group project on homeschooling expecting to prove our theory that homeschoolers were at a social disadvantage. We were young and opinionated. Well we were surprised to find out that our belief about homeschool kids were largely myths. They turned out just as socially competent as other kids or more so. Anyway you probably knew that but every child is so different and you have to find out what’s going to work best for them.

I’ve never believed in making a kid stick it out even though he’s miserable. Instead why not teach him to think out of the box and find a solution that brings him happiness and peace. Right?

It sounds like the adjustment phase in trying to figure how to make it all work is pretty tough but I know you guys will find a way to make it work. PS one of the reasons I don’t want a full time job is because I hate the thought of leaving the dogs home all day long. They’re such social creatures. Hang in there._________________"Above all, be the heroine of your life and not the victim.” Nora Ephron

Hi, Auto! Good for you for homeschooling your younger son! It sounds like it was the right decision for him. I hope you’re able to figure out some of the details, so it’s not as crazy. As for the job, you definitely have to do what is right for you._________________Committing to a fresh start, with 3-4 plates and no snacking.

When you suspect that the "pain" of eating too much S food is likely greater than the pain you will go through wanting to eat but not doing it, it becomes possible to make the effort. In my case, and yours may be different, the difficulty of holding out against the S urges on S days was harder than no S's on N days, but it was also more gratifying.

And it may also become your experience as time goes on that you will go through Super Bowl day eating only enough S's for fun, and not bloat. Sounds surreal, I know! But you are on your way._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Yes, recrimination after the fact leads to feelings of resentment and rebellion against the "taskmaster." McGonigal found that those who had indulged who came to believe that "everyone does it" and "you'll be better next time were less likely to overeat later. But ANTICIPATING feeling regret or recrimination BEFORE a person gives ALSO leads to more compliance. We're nuts!

Maybe you're reaching your extinction burst. Sometimes there will be a real push from the neuro progamming to keep the person doing the habit. Holding out often took them over the peak, and things got easier. But these things are not always linear._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

And now it's 3:30 in the morning; I've been up for 3 hours with insomnia. I slept great from 9pm-12:30. Then no more. I held out for a couple hours before grabbing my laptop. You can only hope to fall asleep for so long. I do hope to get 2 more hours of sleep tonight!! Yikes!_________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

That was my sleep life for several years. But it's been wacky for 20+years.

I will caution you to try to find something else other than the laptop to look at as the light is more "awakening" than a printed page. Or you can listen to stuff without looking at the screen. Soft=spoken podcasts or youtube videos. Ear phones if you don't want anyone else to hear. I've had good luck falling asleep before the end of the cast most of the time.

Pizza will definitely do that. It is one of the perfect storms of "reward value" via the salt and of bloat afterwards. Will we eat it again? We sure will._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

The podcast idea is a very good one! I often fall asleep during them even when I don't want to sleep, ha!

Kind of a weird day. Stressful, lots of different things to juggle. But it all ended pretty good. I feel better tonight about my life juggle than I have in a while.

B: coffee with milk, 1 piece of bacon (if you're wondering about the bacon showing up as a lone breakfast item, it's on the mornings my kids don't finish their pancakes & bacon; or bacon & eggs, etc.
L: apple
D: (early dinner/work meeting -- I planned ahead what I would order and wanted to eat during the meeting to avoid dominating the work conversation and improve my listening skills) -- fish tacos
wine when I finally got home! -- well, I'm going to pour a glass as soon as I finish this entry, haha

Looking for recommendations -- good books to read aloud to a squirmy 8-year old boy. As some of you may recall, my first son would let me read for hours to him. We plowed through amazing stuff. My second kiddo is just not ready for the really complex plots. I'll tell you some stuff he's liked, then you tell me some other ideas!!!
*Dory Fantasmagory (all 3 are read and reread and I have pre-ordered the 4th)
*Captain Underpants (which I could do without, but he reads these mostly on his own. Sometimes he begs me to reread the really gross parts).
*all the Bill Peet books
*all the Curious George books
*I suspect he might enjoy some well-written non-fiction. Maybe that's kind of where his head goes? Maybe that's why I haven't found the perfect novel to grab him._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

I posted a long response to your question on my thread but may have forgotten what your work actually is while you're homeschooling._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Tuna Fish Sandwich was awesome. Haven't had one in so long and it was a great option for me since I was getting tired of corn tortillas & beans.

Oolala, I read your reply on your thread (thank you!) and you were right about my job. I am a teacher, but I teach college, so my hours are more flexible than a high school teacher. I go in to teach my classes (and have arranged babysitting for those times), then get out of there as soon as possible unless I have requisite meetings that day or other only-can-do-on-campus work.

Flexible schedules are both a bomb and a bust, in my opinion. Talk about bringing your work home. I have no divide/boundary between my work and home life. However, that really ramped up 3.5 years ago when I became the Division Chair. I will finish out that role in June, and next year just be a teacher again!

My husband is supportive, but he thinks I need to hang on until next year and give it one quarter just being "regular" again before making any decisions. That's what all my colleagues and friends suggest too. I'm sure they are right, but it doesn't stop me from daydreaming about quitting. I have various options, I suppose:

*Quit
*reduce to 80% contract
*apply for sabbatical
*take a leave of absence.

Reducing the contract sounds good but my gut tells me that the workload rarely reduces with the pay cut, if you know what I mean. Apply for sabbatical -- I think I will, but it's scary competitive, and I doubt my submission of sabbatical work as "don't think about this place at all for a quarter" will be chosen, haha. Seriously, I should try that though. If I don't get sabbatical, I could, with admin/HR approval, take a leave of absence for up to a year without losing my job.

I absolutely think that even though my kids are 12 and 8 right now, that I am experiencing a similar emotional pull to stay at home and nest that new moms do. Most likely because I homeschooling one of them and the juggle has gotten wild(er); and also because like oolala said, I am keenly aware of the needs of tweens and I want to be emotionally present and available for my kiddos as they go through adolescence and high school.

On top of everything is the guilt that I am letting my co-workers down by not being on campus 40 hours a week right now. Many of them have issues they want to talk about (but don't feel comfortable putting in an email), so when I do show up, they swamp me and I know they must have been looking for me earlier..... that's not fair to them. Everybody else is crunched too.

I think a reasonable approach is to:
a) begin living more frugally NOW, before the consequences of overspending on any given month hurt us (aha, maybe a reopening of my old system, NoSpending?)
b) Put aside the freaking guilt for the rest of this quarter. Over the course of my time at this job, I have had so many 60 hour weeks it's crazy. And some 80 hour ones, too. So my colleagues can handle 4 more weeks of not having me super accessible (they can always email and I respond in minutes!)
c) Depend on my husband's flexibility next quarter to save the day. He will only be teaching afternoons/evenings next quarter so HE can be the one at home with our homeschooled son in the day! I can get the basic homeschooling done by 10am and then head in for the rest of the day.
d) Apply for sabbatical next fall -- if I get it, it isn't until the following year (2020), though. Actually, maybe I can start working on my application right now!! That might provide some satisfaction for the part of me that likes daydreaming about getting a break from this place.
e) If I don't get sabbatical, I can talk with my boss and HR to plan for a leave of absence (2019 or 2020). They won't like it (who can blame them?) but I think I can talk them into it. My leave could be up to a year, but maybe by then I will not feel as crazy like I need a whole year.

In closing, since this is not just my personal journal but others do sometimes read it, I apologize if I sound very much like a complainer or that I take for granted my wonderful life. But I have always loved this thread of mine, it's such a joy to have a place to vent. And when I last came back to the thread more regularly, I LOVED reading back through from the beginning and seeing how my life changed and my kids changed, etc. I like this record, I guess. Even though I leave off names and specifics, in a way that kind of forces me to get to the gist of what's bothering me instead of giving inordinate amounts of details!_________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Your options sound very reasonable. I don't believe at all that you take your life or granted, but it is true that being a college teacher ranks pretty high for job satisfaction-when it's the teaching. And really, since there are actually so few outlets for jobs that provide non-mainstream environments, it is a "catch" in the career pool of fish. (Ha, I think I just saw what it means for a spouse to be a "catch"!) It does seem like your vision is clouded by the extra projects you've taken on. (In my previous school, being department head was something everyone avoided! A burden. At this school, when I first came, dept. heads got an hour off from teaching, yet there was one teacher who seemed to have a lock on it. She went to another site but by then, no more free hour. I'm pretty sure it's not compensated, yet it seem s some people still want to do it. I guess it looks good on a resume.

I sometimes compare my job to working in a coal mine. It probably is true that some people short change themselves, but I think it's also true that judgement, intellectual, creative jobs are just darn competitive. People during the Industrial Revolution probably wanted to quit their jobs, too, but their options were not Oprah-show options.

Also, I was just going to say how this forum seems to meet some kind of need so many of us have to mull over our thoughts and not just to ourselves. I mean, we could just be keeping journals in a Word doc, but we don't. I remember being told a couple of decades ago to journal on my eating issues, and I never did it. But in essence that's what I've done here- and in spades!_________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

I cleaned houses during college, and truthfully, I loved that job. However, I had the option of only doing it part-time, and being able to exercise myself mentally in my schoolwork. That was a nice mix of physical and mental balance in my worklife, I guess.

And I totally agree about the -- we could be journaling in a Word doc! I think the community is key here.

Saturday -- a partially wild/partially weird S Day composed of the worst type of grazing but at least the quantities were not insane

141.6 (I apparently gained an entire pound last week when I had a big Friday fail, and then gorged Sat & Sun -- most of the water weight came off, but some extra friendly triglycerides stayed around)

BB (before Breakfast?) -- ate a piece of See's chocolate and 1/2 a brownie. Now, in my defense (haha why do I feel the need to defend, dang it?!) -- we had bought my husband a box of 12 See's chocolates A WEEK AGO!! And the stinker let them sit there all week. Every day I resisted. So Saturday morning I finally had one. I was wary of the brownie but it was delicious. One of my husband's students had made it, and -- true story -- one time a student gave me marijuana brownies!!!!!! I had no idea. I do now and I am highly suspicious of brownies in general, haha
B: Egg Bites from Starbucks w/ a plain latte on my way up to hike with the dog. That was nice, and seemed like I was starting my day in a reasonable fashion...... but then
L? D? like, I grazed all day. I think I ate bits of: Doritos, chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, MORE See's chocolates, drank wine, and watched Olympics._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

I'm excited to share a frugality plan for the next 30 days. I finished my taxes, and we owe a lot of money! That combined with my "want to quit" freak-out has gotten me really focused on bringing our spending under control.

So my whole family has agreed to a 30-day cash only plan. If we want anything online, we will put it in the Amazon "cart" but wait until the 30 days are up.

After the 30 days..... I'm exploring some ways to limit spending at Costco & on Amazon once the 30 days are up. I was disappointed to discover that if I buy a Costco cash card I don't get the $$ back deal. I am going to see if I can buy an Amazon gift card and still get my 5% back. Probably not, but I'll check. The gift cards would give me budgeted amounts that would help provide a boundary each month.

Update -- yes it is possible to "reload" an Amazon gift card and still take advantage of the 5% back! It just adds the 5% to the gift card amount. So that will be a VERY good way for us to limit expenses. Now I just need to go through my budget and determine what is a good upper limit for monthly Amazon spending.

I just got back from grocery shopping for the week (after making a menu this morning) -- $81 I mostly stuck to my list, except for some expensive fruit that the kids will actually snack on; felt worth it to me. I also bought wine with the intent that it has to last the whole week -- no stops after work to pick it up.

And I messed around with my YNAB app on my phone. I've never use the app before; rather, I just have the computer version. But it allowed me to enter my purchase immediately rather than rely on memory or just enter once a week. I think once we go back to using the credit card that the immediate entry will be a good way to "check" and reign in the impulse spending. Makes it a little more painful, which is what I need right now._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Last edited by automatedeating on Tue Feb 13, 2018 3:03 pm; edited 1 time in total

When I had very little income, and no cards, I relied on the amount of cash in my wallet. There is nothing like seeing the money physically disappear to limit spending.

Nowadays, I don't have a credit card, but use a debit card for payments. I usually put in enough in my card account to cover my expected expenditure for that month. That works for me, but I have never liked being in debt, and I only have to control my own spending.

I suspect that impulse spending may involve some of the same brain circuits that are involved in impulse eating. That yen for an immediate little boost._________________Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

143.9
I weighed again on Monday to see the weekend damage (in this case, 2 pounds). I know that's not my "true" weight, if you get my drift, but I'm curious to see how long it takes to get back down. If I go by last week, I weighed 145 Monday morning and was down to 141.9 by Friday or Saturday morning. So 3 pounds different, although I ended the week 1 pound up from my previous low. So I think it's entirely possible for me to gain a pound from 6000 extra calories if I have wild S Days and maybe a Friday fail/overeat heavy food. If I only get down to 142.9 by Friday, I'll have gained another pound. Calm curiosity.
Update: weighed this morning and already back down to 141.4. So water weight came off quickly this week.

Imogen -- I was just totally estimating that if I somehow really could gain 2 pounds over a 3-day weekend, it would mean eating about 6000 calories more than normal. Not sure if that's really how it works, but I tend to like to speculate about stuff._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Last edited by automatedeating on Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

From my calorie counting days, 1 lb = 3500 calories so you'd have to eat that much EXTRA to what you burned off by existing/exercising/activity in order for any weight gain to actually be weight rather than water retention, bloating etc.

It's nice not to have to count that on No S but I'm also mindful of that knowledge - it's hard to eat that many extra calories in a short space of time really but I reckon I could do it if I ate out a few multi-course meals and drank a lot (this is not a personal challenge )

I think 6,000 might be enough to overwhelm the body's first reaction of stepping up the burning to try to keep equilibrium. Intake over a month would likely give a more realistic look but it can be hard to "risk" going that long.

By Friday, even if you're still a pound up, there's no way to know from the average home scale whether it's a pound of water or fat.

I haven't been following that closely. Would you remind me how your N days are going?

Are you worried about S days, or just trying to figure out how far you can go and still "get away with it?" _________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Auto, I don't think you could ever get close to 6000 extra calories. On my wildest, wildest weekends I came to 3000 at most (I diligently counted for some time, even when I was going crazy with food), and you should really see how I binged then.

I could get close to 3,000 on one S day, but not the next one. Yet, with the RIGHT foods, who knows... _________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

But no one would hold it against you if you didn't use that or any other suggestion. You are doing great as is._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Yay for skipping McDs! I’m to the point that just about any fast food makes me ill. I rather just not eat! Hummus sounds like a much better meal!_________________"Above all, be the heroine of your life and not the victim.” Nora Ephron

OK, I'm at a weird NoS point. I very purposefully distracted myself and applied some willpower to avoid snacking between lunch and dinner today. I obviously had plenty of refined carbs/sweets at mealtimes, but otherwise, this might count as my first-ever S Day that I imposed some boundaries on myself. And I face a question that I've never yet pondered or felt the need to consider before now: What is the purpose of S Days once habit is firmly established? I've ALWAYS felt that S Days were important as a release valve so that I stay on habit for N Days. I still believe that, but I guess there naturally could come a point when S days become more like N days BY CHOICE, not by RULES. It was finally necessary for me to focus attention on countering the "habit" of grazing on the weekends.

Doesn't it seem reasonable that the "ultimate" S days would be sweets, seconds, OR snacks truly enjoyed (ideally with others amid healthy relationships) -- but not necessarily on every S Day? So I could theoretically plan to avoid snacking on S Days, but if a perfect, joyful snack opportunity came along, then hey -- it IS an S Day, after all? As opposed to an N Day, when I politely decline no matter what.

So, to circle back to answer my original question -- S Days should always be allowed to be a release valve for me. The trick/wisdom/mental fun of the day is because choice & freedom exists. N Days keep it simple so we don't have to haggle with ourselves (which is exhausting, as I can attest to after today!).

And I face a question that I've never yet pondered or felt the need to consider before now: What is the purpose of S Days once habit is firmly established?

My ultimate goal is that S days provide an opportunity to attend family or cultural events and enjoy some of the special foods or drinks that such events generally entail. So, go to a birthday party and enjoy a slice of cake. Or have Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. What was more of an outlet / safety valve 5 years ago is now closer to what I imagine is the original intention - making special occasions special again, the way they would have been for our grandparents or great-grandparents.

Interestingly, I went to a birthday party on the weekend for my son's friend. There was birthday cake and cupcakes, but I chose not to have one. It was a Sunday, and it was a birthday party (admittedly not of a close friend or family member of mine), so it would have been Vanilla No S. They had lunch food there as well, so I enjoyed sushi and salad for lunch and left it at that.

So yes, the added element of S day choice is important to me, rather than necessarily indulging every time.

My 12yo son made snickerdoodles. Dang it! They turned out great (I can just TELL + the boys love them) and so I quickly put them all in a tupperware to dole out to kids for lunches, and after dinners. They tempted me! Had to apply some willpower there for sure.

Hold on to your hats because I have had a "HORRIBLE EPIPHANY". I binge & purge material possessions!!!! Yes, yes. It all started with that post by missminimalist that someone linked to. I binged all her blog, then went crazy in my house. I have a good 3 loads of stuff to haul to goodwill in the back of our SUV. But as I've been getting rid of stuff I have had moments of shame as I find things I bought when I was on a "kick" of some kind. Weird. And shaming. I guess I could apply some ideas here such as -- Guilt after the binge/purge is unlikely to break the cycle. Rather, awareness ahead of time of how bad I'll feel if I buy too much junk could be harnessed to prevent future binges.

Lol- I had to write you since your post just made me snort with laughter! Ha on the “bingeing and purging” of stuff.

I totally do this too, but never quite thought of it that way. I think of it as these “moods” that make me want to feel extremely “organized”. Then I end up giving away tons of STUFF to Goodwill... and sometimes regret giving away a certain item or two...here and there... if ya know what I mean. Ha ha!!

Good day. I feel like homeschooling, although crazy at first , ended up being a blessing in disguise. It forced me to put a "hedge around my work" and has helped me enjoy time this quarter with my son. He needed more one on one with me; and some time when he didn't need to compete with big brother. Building with legos, doing science kits, reading together.

re:snow. The most magical part is that you probably won't have to shovel it. _________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

I was hungry today! Hungry for lunch, hungry for dinner, hungry now for a chocolate bar or some equivalent junk. When this happens, it usually means I really did need a few more calories (not a ton more though, ha!). I have been a decluttering FIEND for the past week. When I am not otherwise obligated at home or work, I have been going through each room. Staying up late, it's like a drug addiction. Weird. Although I know it is generally probably good that I am decluttering, I almost wonder if I'm completely manic right now. I bet I have been burning a lot of calories since I have literally not stopped moving from dawn until I fall into bed at 10 or 11.

A total now of 5 trips to Goodwill to drop stuff off. And I called the garbage company to let them know there will be extra garbage outside tomorrow (for pick-up day), as well as a loveseat I'm ready to get rid of.

I'm not completely sure what's going on with me, but I suspect that I am experiencing euphoria because I am finally -- after 3 long years -- creating some space between my work and my .... self.....

I'm going to go with it and not feel guilty, although not surprisingly I'm analyzing this phenomenon from all angles. The way I see it, it's OK because: I'm not ignoring my family, I'm keeping up with my work, and I think that decluttering is a far less dangerous coping mechanism than alcoholism (which is always a temptation for me) or over-eating or sex addiction (ha! just threw that last one in to see if you're reading!!) Well, I do like sex, but apparently right now I like decluttering even more. _________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

141.6 -- curiosity point: After having a few heavy-eating weekends & a couple fails from several weeks ago.....I STILL am up a pound over the end of January. Wow. When you are as short as I am, as sedentary, and in your 40's, weight loss may be slow and difficult.

In my decluttering efforts I ran across an amazing idea. People that have less money may tend to hoard more, thinking that they might have use of something someday. Wealthy people tend to be able to let their unused possessions go, knowing they'll just buy something again if they need it. And the tie-in with weight: in richer countries, it is the RICHEST that are the SLIMMEST, and the poorest that suffer most from obesity._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Last edited by automatedeating on Sat Feb 24, 2018 3:01 am; edited 1 time in total

Drat! Yea, it's sad but probably true: being short and in mid-life seems to allow for a lot less leeway in eating. It may take some unusual conditions- in that they aren't just the status quo with less of it- to counteract that body's attempts at homeostasis or other influences. We have only about 30% control of how much the body burns of the calories we eat. It can dial down to its pilot light if it wants. Curses!

I think for the wealthy in wealthy countries, being heavy became associated with NOT wanting to look like they were trying to show their wealth by being heavy= having a lot of food available. It's usually in places without access to food that being heavy is prized. Maybe that's the same thing as what you're saying. "I don't have to look like I've stored food away or fear others will think I don't have enough. I can always get more if I want it. "

Not sure that being hungry for each meal is a sign you needed more food. It was a goal for me the first few years to be hungry for about an hour before each meal, and I could usually meet that. Now true hunger is more elusive. I miss it! I feel kind of lucky that my weight feels okay, because I would not be willing to eat much less than I do now to lose any more.

In the mean time, it seems you are eating in a very reasonable way. Might not be much more you can ask for, at least for now. Hold you head high! It's so typical to gain during middle age that just maintaining- and you basically are- is a feat._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Thanks oolala. I am certainly trying to be a moderate eater. And that is something I could hold my head high about._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

We had a rare day in which nobody had many obligations, so I spent the entire day decluttering and doing a bit of furniture moving. I really hit the tough spot when I started on the living room/kitchen (our house is an open layout downstairs, with the living room and kitchen all one space). Tough because virtually everything in the living room and kitchen/office space is used and needed. So not much that I can really declutter. And the space is not big, so tricky to organize. I settled on moving all the office stuff to our bedroom. This cleared out a wardrobe-cabinet thingy and a bookcase from the downstairs. Much better. And our bedroom looks great because we hadn't had any furniture in it at all. We had been using it as the playroom for about 8 years, but recently let one the boys have their own rooms, and so no more playroom -- but we have a big master bedroom back!

In the past 10 days I have decluttered almost the entire house, freakishly working at it whenever I had a few spare minutes. I still need to go through my 8 year old's closet (yikes -- he's the hoarder in the family!), the laundry closet (ugh), and the GARAGE! But it has been snowy and cold and I'm going to wait on the garage.

The house looks and feels spartan at this point, but I love it. Clears my mind.

I am in love with our bedroom. It's peaceful in there! The only item I'd like to add is a small writing desk by the window. I'll check out thrift stores but try not to be in a hurry to "buy" something._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Wow, I am trying not to use this against me. I have been free to declutter for weeks and have done only a few cabinets and some from bedroom corner and storage space. And I went to a fundraiser rummage sale yesterday and bought stuff! But I am still happy when I see the bottles and such in pullout plastic boxes under the sink and kitchen shelves pretty much organized. (I don't have cabinet doors.) And you've got kids! Okay, okay, I know. No need to compare. _________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Oh my goodness, please don't compare yourself!!! I struggle mightily with housekeeping and accumulating junk. I spend too much money on poor-quality, luxury items (wow, isn't that an oxymoron?! Low-quality luxury items) and then have to get rid of stuff.

Anyway, that's why what's come over me is potentially considered .... um.... unbalanced? If it weren't for the fact that I'm sleeping like a baby, I'd wonder if I'm in a manic state!!! Just a few weeks ago I wanted to quit my job, now I'm on top of the world. Golly. Maybe I am bipolar. Yikes.

The other reason I don't see myself as actually bipolar is because this is a serious transition in my life -- less than 3 months left on my admin job, and then back to regular teaching. I seem to feel a new lease on life.
It's probably somewhat normal to be a bit crazy during serious life change.

Today I avoided snacking with the application of mild willpower. Would have just snacked if the urge had been much stronger. Gauging the necessity of the S Day safety valve is critical, I believe, and makes long-term compliance something of an art form! In my case, the freedom to have unrefined carbs on the weekend is joyful, and snacking never has brought me joy, so I think I can do without it for the most part, even on S Days._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Do many of you use Google Keep? Between it, my Google Calendar, and my new enjoyment of using labels in Gmail, I've been enjoying getting organized. I guess you could say I'm purging digital clutter. This summer, I have a project to get all my photos scanned from pre-2011 (when I started keeping everything on Google photos). My decluttering of the house revealed I have entire large bookcase worth of photo albums. Yes, my kids are cute, but that is just too many pics.

My gmail was cluttered with a few hundred daily newsletters from her for a few years. I'd periodically delete them, but keep a few I really thought I was going to go back and read, especially on paper issues. Finally unsubscribed. I now get some of the same messages from a team I'm on on Sparkpeople, of all places. I see the daily tasks and the routines, but I don't do them. I'm still so glad about the purging I have done, and I do believe that I will get there. You wouldn't know it now, but I know how things were!

Someone told Reinhard about her once. He thought it fit habit and bright line theory pretty well.

Marie Kondo is fond of saying that people who go at things piecemeal will never finish, but Flybaby testimonials say different. It turns out that when Kondo says you have to do everything at once, she doesn't mean in a weekend. I read she says it takes about six months for people to do the whole process. That about matches what I've read successful Flybabies who are consistent with the process. I'd bet most of Kondo's readers, without her real-time prompting, don't get there on their own._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

I tried Flylady too, but failed. I couldn’t stay focussed on it, life has too many other distractions. As for shining my sink, well on an average day I could barely get to the sink. 😊

Still, I liked some of the things she said - especially the bit about putting on your shoes! I think footwear has a really deep impact on our state of mind! If I’m wearing slippers or just my socks around the house, I can’t get on with anything...I think it makes me subconsciously wary of stubbing my toes so I walk around more slowly...I can’t pop outside to empty the bins or anything...and I somehow feel more helpless and lacking in dynamism! 😂

I think it can get in the way when you have one signature task. It's too much like WTH, if you DON'T do it. I get that it's supposed to be just one thing you can do to hang your hat on, but as I said... I do find that making my bed is more likely and has led to my keeping the bathroom right off the bedroom more straightened up and my keeping more of my clothes hung up, until recently when the closet is so packed and the weather so cold (for us) that I'm often jumping out of and into clothes.

For me, it's so much easier NOT to eat than it is to DO something._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

The one FlyLady cleaning habit that I have stuck with is the 5-minute room rescue. I often get the kids in on it too. Just set a timer and see if we can make the downstairs presentable -- I even say it that way -- what if a neighbor came over? (and we have one neighbor with an immaculate house, so I always imagine it's her -- the desire to AVOID shame/guilt is motivating!)

Wednesday, Feb 28th
140.6!!! (happy with that)
B: coffee w/ milk
L: apple slices & peanuts
D: two tuna fish sandwiches & pickles. Delicious, but I think I should have only had one. But the bread was tiny and I justified that they both fit on the plate. I should have read my signature before indulging.

I've thought of getting a tortilla press and learning how to make them fresh because they are so wonderfully soft and "fluffy" feeling then._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Hmmm a tortilla press is probably an item that I would exuberantly purchase and then end up donating to Goodwill. I can see it now.

Friday, March 2nd
140.9 (happy with this!) BMI 25.8
B: apple slices, banana, coffee w/milk
L: hot dog slices and mustard, apple slices
D: taco salad (I consider this a nice victory because it was a restaurant choice and I was VERY hungry) But the meal was satisfying and nutritious and I feel like I took care of myself. Maybe that will be an nice theme for 2018 -- taking care of myself.
wine

Also had to deal with a Candy & Sweet Shop visit during a field trip with my son. He got ice cream, I didn't even feel tempted, but then I did buy 2 chocolates for my husband and I to have tomorrow. I kept them in the bag and tried not to think about them again. Success, because I'm now cozy in bed._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Good point. I will look for one donated by such a person as you at my local thrift stores. Then I could just "rent" it with an option to "buy" if I actually use it. _________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

I was out of town all day with my older son for a basketball tournament. Hence, disordered eating & poor choices on this S Day.
B: hasbrowns, bacon & eggs
L: movie popcorn, some starbursts, some nachos (in-between games)
D: burger & chocolate frosty, some fries
I couldn't even eat all the fries and had to run around the parking lot because I felt so overfull. YUCK!). I briefly contemplated making myself throw-up and then decided I shouldn't add disordered decisions to my already-disordered day.

So frustrating to watch my 12-year-old play basketball. He is terrified of making a mistake, so he rarely shoots, dribbles, or anything. He just passes it back to the point guard. As anyone that's heard me describe my oldest, he is ultra intense and a go-getter, so this is hard to see. I've prepared a pep talk for him in the car today. I'd like to write it down because I know I'll have limited words before he tunes out, and I don't want the wrong turn of phrase to tune him out even sooner:

Car Speech to son:
Can you imagine for a moment how it might feel to play if you weren't afraid of making a mistake? (hopefully he'll chime in here) I would see you joyfully using your amazing speed to drive and bursts of fire to go around people. You'd take shots from time to time and know that it's through your mistakes in the game that the real improvement is happening! You'd not hold back from driving because you're afraid you'll end up at the free throw line. And if your coach yells at you? Well, in that case HE's the one that's made a mistake, because his job is to bring out your potential, and right now all your potential is locked up inside you.

Oh auto- I’ve been there! The upset tummy feeling can be enough of a deterrent most of the time, but sometimes not. The good news is that it’s very rare for you nowadays, so I wouldn’t sweat it. Everyone (including those without any food “issues”) does this from time to time.

And I can totally relate to the rehearsal speech, especially because I know my son would also tune me out if I don’t get the conversation started off on the right foot.

The scale can't punish you. It just reports. It's got no skin in the game!

And now to a green week... _________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

I'm starting to sound paleo!! -- the rest of the family had spaghetti, but I have this routine now where I pull out some ground beef before adding the tomato sauce, and then just mix it with stuff.

Oh, another challenge today was that my 8 year old and I made chocolate chip cookies. I can tell they turned out great. Haha I quickly put most of them in tupperware and out of sight. They'll probably be gone by Saturday though, but that's A-OK with me.

Speaking of my 8 year old, he and I had what I would consider a "stellar" homeschool day: we did a little math & history, then read "How to train your dragon" for an hour, then built a lego house (he has officially surpassed me at reading the instructions), then found a recipe for cookies and made them together.

So.....my experimental tweaking the last 2 months is working. I cut out refined carbs (essentially no fast food or pasta, etc) on N Days, and I have lost a few pounds.
Also have learned painfully that I pay hard for it when I over-indulge on S Days. For me & my body, S Days need monitoring. I guess the mildest type of monitoring is ideal. No Snacking on S days is what keeps them sane for me, even if allow seconds and sweets. Plus, No Snacking is the easiest S for me to get rid of, mostly because it's rewarding/gratifying to come to a meal hungry. My desire to AVOID that overfull not hungry feeling at mealtimes is greater than my desire to put random things in my mouth between meals._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Last edited by automatedeating on Wed Mar 07, 2018 1:34 am; edited 1 time in total

Willpower expert Kelly McDonigal has found that wanting to avoid negative consequences is more powerful than getting down on ourselves right after the behavior. Being "fed up" with that heavy feeling finally helped me do the work of facing down those sweet snack urges. It didn't happen on its own... I sometimes wish I had gotten to it sooner._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Well, for me, it would be nice for it to be by practice and not just theory. I'm good at theory!_________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Wednesday, March 7th
139.5 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'll have to check to see when was the last time I was in the 130's! Exciting! Update -- it looks like Sept 2016 was the last time I dipped into the the 130's (unless I missed something). So about 18 months ago.
B: strawberry, yogurt & banana smoothie
L: apple, roast beef sandwich
(waiting for) Dinner and HUNGRY/HANGRY: chicken in the oven, brown rice almost ready

been doing some nice walk/jogs with the dog in the morning. Beautiful outside, but very cold!_________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Just got there myself, I am now seeing the possibility of getting back to a normal waist measurement, so yes, very exciting._________________Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

Wednesday, March 7th
139.5 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'll have to check to see when was the last time I was in the 130's! Exciting! Update -- it looks like Sept 2016 was the last time I dipped into the the 130's (unless I missed something). So about 18 months ago.

And that's how it's done! _________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Friday
B: banana, small amount of strawberry/blueberry/yogurt smoothie
L: 2 bean and cheese tostadas
D -- S Evening for my husband and I. We were away for the night at a hotel to celebrate his birthday (Feb) and our upcoming anniversary.
Wow, do I have a (sad, age as old as time) tale to tell.
How to make me sick? I'll tell you -- have me eat a huge burger and fries, drink (over the course of 4 hours) 3 glasses of wine, and I will have a belly bomb. It's happened before and I always think I must have had too much to drink. But I've realized it's always/only when I overeat like that on rich food that it just SITS in my stomach for HOURS, and then I feel so sick. Damn it, I don't EVER want to got through that kind of foolish, gluttony-caused illness again. I will NEVER eat a whole restaurant burger again like that!!!! Eat half, you silly thing!!!! How many times do I have to be reminded to READ MY SIGNATURE!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, S Day for Sugars & Seconds
B: very nice little restaurant -- I ordered the kimchi, pork belly, egg & potatoes dish. It was filling but not overly so (like this silly burger last night). Oh, I also had a rare and enjoyable glass of OJ.
L: 1/2 of a marionberry brioche that I brought home from the restaurant_________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

The burger AND the fries? Oooh, you must have been hurtin'. But the right amount on a plate can look rather sad in the restaurant with the piddly lettuce leaf and tomato and all the other voluminous plates. And everyone else chompin' away so that you are such an outlier "nursing" your half a burger and fistful of fries. But YOU are in the RIGHT! Oh, it's so hard being a saint.

Not that you asked but may I suggest asking for a to-go container right when you order, and then apportion the food as soon as it comes? Then hide the box and nosh away. You can always decide to chuck the food later, but it's a lot easier not looking at it on the plate. That's graduate school skill._________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Kindergarten is where I'm at with my restaurant skills, so I think I should start asking for the box. Or my husband and I can split one entree. It totally would have filled us both up. And if we were still a little hungry, we could have split a dessert! How romantic.

Tuesday
B: coffee w/milk
L: tostadas w/beans & cheese
D: lamb curry -- with just a tiny bit of rice. I needed some texture. I guess that's a fail since I think Indian food usually uses basmati rice, which I think is refined. Ah, well.

Tomorrow morning I go in for a doc appt. They drew blood last week so that means I'll have to hear my cholesterol etc. Yuck. I'm dreading it. I think I had my bloodwork done when I was 26, not sure why I even did it then. I'm not a fan of annual doc visits. I simultaneously fear the results and resent some of the current lipid hypothesis, if that makes sense. Doesn't really make sense._________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Did I forget something? Why is basmati or refined rice a fail?_________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Doc appt complete.
Cholesterol: fine
fasting blood sugar: 100mg/dL (prediabetic, but just barely)
Blood pressure was 143/90. She took it again a few minutes later -- 134/88. Sigh.
Weight this morning: 140.0

a reading of 100 is prediabetic? Ouch. Sorry about the prehypertension, too. But now you know, and you've already taken measures. More incentive to keep the fence around the law. Hugs_________________Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

Friday, March 16th
Travel day, 6 hours in car
B: coffee w/milk, banana
L: McD's on the road -- ordered the southwest salad -- first time for everything!
D: Subway -- got the steak & cheese wrap and tried to avoid most of the tortilla

Saturday, March 17th
B: coffee w/milk, yogurt w/granola & banana, 2 sausages, 1 egg (this was all from the hotel breakfast bar....)
L: 3 pizza of pizza at my brother's (we visited him between games)
D: cheeseburger & small fries (I specifically ordered a cheeseburger, haven't done that in years. Normally get a much bigger burger).
Spent the evening at urgent care. Our 8 year old split his lip (not playing basketball, just messing around) and ended up with 3 stitches in his lip.
Turns out he is a kid that doesn't respond to lidocaine. That was not fun.

Sunday, March 18th
B: coffee w/milk and banana (from the hotel breakfast again)
On the road for 6 hours after last basketball game
L: whopper & fries, but I only ate half the whopper (realized after ordering that I won't be doing that anymore!!)
saved room for a chocolate sundae. I was starting to feel a little panicky that N days are coming and I felt like I'd been resisting temptation all weekend!
D: tortilla chips and a triangle of quesadilla
2 glasses of wine

I'm feeling emotional and maybe not in the best place to make big decisions, such as removing an S Day or something like that. But I think that I AM going to have to do some things that take me to a "stricter" place than the freedom of Vanilla. Some brainstorming of "what can I do forever", since I shouldn't put the mod in place unless that's the case!
Ideas -- I'm thinking only 1 S Day a week (Sunday)?, but maybe Saturday could be "Squishy S-Day"?, a day where I can have some refined carbs but still no snacks or seconds.
And I have already toyed with and probably won't do -- low-carb (to get sugars down and to lose weight). Can you guess why I probably won't do low-carb? Because I can't see myself doing it forever. On the other hand, my recent "no refined carbs" on N Days appears to be very doable/liveable, dare I say enjoyable....? I'm certainly eating healthier than I have in years. So I don't want to rock that boat or go too extreme.

And this next thought is really just speculative, but I am sad that I have blood glucose and blood pressure issues when I am only a few pounds (technically) overweight. I do believe stress is a key to my health issues. But beyond that, my optimal healthy weight is probably a good 10 pounds lighter than I am now. But I haven't wanted to chase that weight because it requires too much focus on what's on the plate. I still don't think I'm ready to aggressively chase that weight, but tightening up my S Days to only 1 weekly one seems like it could help me lose a little weight without making me resentful.

Ultimately, what am I willing to give up to possibly have healthier blood sugars and a lower blood pressure? And maybe similarly, what am I willing to modify in my lifestyle/schedule to reduce stress and have a better work/life balance?_________________Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6
Goal: 130/23.8

Hi Auto. Thanks for popping by my thread earlier!
I don’t have any insights to offer regarding mods...I’m a bit like you in that I’m only a few pounds ‘officially’ overweight, and wary of making any changes that will interfere with long-term compliance. But I agree with you, that stress is often to blame for our medical issues. I see so many women tweaking their diets this way and that, and think that what they have in common is their high stress levels. It’s not something I can prove of course. But food is something we can control, whereas elderly parents, teenagers, restructuring of our work departments etc. etc., we can’t, on the whole! I suppose it wouldn’t be stress if we could control or avoid it. It always makes me laugh to read the advice ‘avoid stress’.

(Actually, I could avoid most of my daily stress if I cleaned out my handbag and attached my keys to some sort of huge, fluffy key ring....😂)

It sounds like you’ve been highly successful with the mods you’ve made so far - and you’re well aware of the dangers, so you wouldn’t do anything from a position of impatience or cheating! So I say, why not try another mod? If it can’t be sustained, you can always return to your former style of No S.