Thursday, June 16, 2011

Things I Shouldn't Say... So Naturally I'm Going to.

And thus that is part of the reason why it needs to be written about. When I first entered the Pro Bdsm scene, something many people don't realize is that it has it's own set of rules to it. I have always, always been drawn to the lifestyle, as far back as eleven or twelve, which is common enough. I have always been immensely fascinated with people's minds. So, I could earn a living and do something I love so very much... really? The girl who, for six years, was so excited to go to college just drop it like that? Yes, and I did... and I never regretted it. College educated, in my book, doesn't mean you are educated, it just means you paid money so that you could tell people you are and in some, but certainly not all cases, you could pretend to be. So, I started in a dungeon... I learned quickly, I loved it. I was in love. Though, I learned that not only could I be a pro domme, I could sub as well. This turned me on... a lot. It was a ride I wanted to get on. So, even though I technically hadn't been there long enough to take on sub scenes, I talked my way into allowing them to let me "audition", so to speak. Fucked up shit that it is. I don't do that anymore, obviously. Anyway, it wasn't so hard because there is a certain stigma in the pro scene. If you sub at all, even switch then you are not really a domme. That's the first rule I broke and didn't give a shit about. Rule number two... scenes are not sexual. Oh my fucking higher power, yes they absolutely fucking are. Bdsm does not need to incorporate sex but at times it should and regardless scenes are always sexual this is why tops should be getting pleasure as should bottoms, where it goes from there, who knows. So, that's the second rule I broke. Yes, I got a lot of shit in the beginning. I wound up going independent in 8 months. I had no idea what the fuck to do, standing out there in the rain, no umbrella in hand. Though I did figure it out and I had a bit of help from a good friend along the way. Over the years, well some have just accepted it when they see that it's what I actually enjoy and perhaps some are jealous because they have to hide their own sub side because it would indeed hurt their careers... others, well I don't doubt that they talk behind my back. Oh well, such is life. I don't care. With me, what you see, read and hear, is what you get. I will say it once again, there's no fucking persona. I am Aurora Storms, she's not some person I become. So here's something I shouldn't talk about but dammit I'm going to. I give so much of myself and my time to my clients, many of you I consider friends, I deeply value our connections. If you have had a phone conversation (or several) with me, you know what I am referring to. This is my career though. This is my income. Do not put me in a bad position. I literally receive thousands of emails a year and spend hours a day reading each one and responding accordingly and at length. It's also my screening process. I can many long wonderful emails that I enjoy greatly, but situations do occur from time to time and so this blog is not specific to any one case. So yes, if I am talking with you for hours, naturally I am enjoying doing so and if we discuss setting up a time to meet, then yes I want to see you or I would have deleted your email... and yes I absolutely have deleted emails and declined scenes for various reasons, ranging from stupidity to just not being compatible, which I don't think is fair for either player, especially the one spending the fucking money for a professional. Yes, we all dance and tip toe around the matter and yes this post could be somewhat detrimental to my career but you know what, the people who wouldn't contact me based on this blog, I don't fucking want to play with you. I've been dancing around this for years, and I am fucking tired. It is not a topic I enjoy. It can be uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, I am not going to budge and you will only be wasting both your time and mine. Either move forward or politely decline. I am going to break it down. I love what I do to tears. It is my life. Not kids. Not marriage. Not a white picket fence. I love this part of people. The part they hide but yearn to show and have accepted. I love what people become when all the bullshit is stripped away. I love the darkness in us. The depravity. The light is so easy to embrace and to let show but the darkness is where we hide. I love kinky shit. I love fucked up shit. I love playing. I love pushing boundaries. I love to be challenged. I love what I fucking do... and I am fucking phenomenal at it, and my rates reflect that so please, respect that. If I made exceptions for all my clients whose conversations I thoroughly enjoyed and who stimulate me, I would be living in a fucking cardboard box and eating off of the god damn dollar menu at mcdonalds. I do not just sit around banging out clients all day. So yes, I am genuine... and if you don't believe me, re-read this stupid blog, because I'm kind of going with anyone who isn't wouldn't write this or maybe it's just anyone in their right mind, I don't know right now, I'm not to sure... I'm just saying, it's insulting and it hurts my feelings and yes I do have them hidden away in the "top of my panties that I never wear" drawer...