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Kimmel, Fallon, Meyers and Corden deliver searing one-liners in response to footage of president ascending steps to Air Force One on a blustery day

The Late Show, which is on hiatus this week, offered up a digital Valentine's Day "card" that spliced together audio clips from various Trump speeches and press conferences to produce a meandering spoken word love letter to the first lady.

"Melania, I just wanted to say, from the bottom of my heart – which, by the way, is so strong. Good Stamina. Unlike Hillary! That's why she lost the election," the minute-and-a-half clip begins. "Remember that?"

"But anyway," Trump continues. "You are beautiful. So beautiful. Just like that beautiful scene on November 8th. Remember that beautiful, beautiful day? Donald Trump has won the state of Wisconsin!"

The video itself consists of various shots of Melania, Trump and November 8th, 2016, election day, all framed by a red heart.

Throughout the duration of the digital Valentine, Trump continues to express his love for everything from minority groups ("The bikers love me. The Asians love me. The hispanics love me. The African Americans, they love me, I love them") to Tom Brady.

By the end of the self-congratulatory video, Trump is still distracted as ever, telling Melania, "I love you … tah! I mean, Utah! Did you see how many points I won by Utah? It wasn't even close! Like, massive."