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November 17, 2014

I regularly update on Facebook but realize some family and friends out there are not on FB so I will try my best to update here on my blog as I walk this journey.

This picture above is me just this past Friday. Things have changed with me since my last post. I have chosen to proceed with treatment. I am standing in front of a radiation machine. Quite impressive, ya think? I will have a total of fifteen treatments to my pelvic and hip bones, as that is where a lot of my pain is. Radiation will only help elevate some of that pain. They can't radiate all of my bones as my body could not tolerate it. I have had four treatments so far. There are some unpleasant side effects so far but the radiation itself is a piece of cake. You don't see it nor feel it going into your body. I get four zaps each time. I am in and out within ten minutes.

A creepy mask was made for me. It was a very odd experience having this done. It was made just in case doctor decides to radiate the tumors in my skull. There is one that is very large that she is concerned with. If it starts to break apart the bone it will need to be radiated. I pray this never is the case. Wearing that thing is not fun. You can not talk or open your eyes. It fits very tight on my head and clapped down. Even though it is creepy it is kind of cool that it is a mask of me. I could see doing something creative with it.

I get monthly infusions of Zometa, a bone strengther and two Fulvestrant shots every two weeks. We will know in January if the drug is working. Doctor told me if it is not working, we would move on to chemo. Having experienced chemo in the past, I will have a very hard time saying yes to it, but will not cross that bridge until I have to.

The difference going through treatment this time around as compared to what I did eight years ago, it is for life. Having Metastatic Breast Cancer changes everything. There is no cure. I do believe God could heal me if He chooses. No doubt and I ask Him all the time for a complete healing for me and for Ron. Could you imagine!! That would be awesome. Meanwhile, I am appreciating every singe day I wake up.

It amazes me how when I grow weary and want to give up, God renews my strength to move forward. When I am weak He is strong. The support from so many of you out there and on Facebook, family and friends, my cheering squad, gives me strength. It does wonders. I thank you so very much for your encouragement, prayers and kindness towards me. It is medicine to my bones.

October 31, 2014

This picture was me, eightish years ago. It was the beginning of my cancer journey. November 8th, 2006 was the day I was told I had stage 3 breast cancer. For many mornings following, I awoke each day followed by tears. I didn't know how to process it all. This was new, unfamiliar ground. Mastectomy, followed by chemo. I refused radiation. Biggest mistake I realize now, I did not follow through with the Estrogen Hormone therapy. If you are one now contemplating to take the drug, my advice would be, please take it. I don't think I would be where I am now, 2014 had I taken the therapy. Who knows.

Hair grows back. And let me say this, having no hair, I felt more woman than ever before. It's liberating! When my hair grew back, I had curls and loved them, thank you chemo.

As I stated above, I didn't know how to process all that was in front of me. But ya know, you go through the drill. No one really tells you what is ahead. Scans, needle after needle, more scans, chemo, more scans, you get the picture. It became so overwhelming. But you get through it and there is light at the end of the tunnel. The hardest part I remember is finally surrendering to healing. I just wanted to create in my studio. I didn't want anything to hold me back. But chemo did or my body did. I still remember the day I gave myself permission to let go and heal. It was a big deal. At the time I was living in the most beautiful place on earth, the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains in a very rural area. What an amazing place to release and allow God to feed me. I had to stop in my tracts and religuish all and who I was, just to heal and to receive.

So I heal, or at least what I believed to be true. Meanwhile my husband Ron, undergoes brain tumor surgery after surgery again with many complications. Doctors, hospitals, and more hospital visits, more than I can count. It drained me. It drained Ron. We loose everything, the beautiful home Ron built us. We move to Arizona because family, loving brother of Ron, Joe, and his wife Liz, insist we come to Arizona so they can look after us. We make the more. It's all in God's plan.

Complications here in Arizona with Ron, with his brain. He can no longer walk and becomes disable. All this time I am his caretaker. So much stress, oh my. But then we get relief. It's been a few years I believe that we have had relief of all the doctor hospital stuff. So appreciated it, honestly and truly. Calm is the best. The mundane is the best. But then there are battles within the battles of all of that. Won't go there on that, but trust me. More like, where did my husband go?

So lets now forward to today, October 31st 2014 stage 4 as of June 2013.

Honestly, I am in a place again of unfamiliar. Having a really hard time processing it all once again. My oncologist for the last year or so just sent me off each time as if I just had a cold. I had days where I couldn't walk and he just said it was something else. In my gut I knew I had to find a new doctor which I did. Being Breast Cancer Awareness month, I made myself make a brave move, and found a new Oncologist. Thank God I did. In just the last few weeks, so much was revealed to me that again I'm at that place of not knowing how to process it all. My new doctor sits me down and reveals a new blood test I had, never given to me before. She says, a 5 is really really bad. You are a 22. Okay, I sit there and think what does that mean. I'm speechless. She proceeds to tell me how bad the cancer has progressed into my bones and has become really aggressive, especially in my lower back and hips. It is in my femor bones, my ribs, etc. etc. Many places. Okay. Then I find out it's in my skull. Yikes. Is it in my brain too? Thankfully, it is not. That freaked me out more than anything.

Next step: Radiation!

I wish I could write all that I feel. Trying to. I am honestly sooooooooo sick of doctors, hospitals, needles, scans, tests, and really radiation??? Do I want to do this? I'm not sure. I have so many sweet and loving friends. Some conviced I will live to 100 and some already have me dead and burried.

HOW DO I PROCESS ALL OF THIS??? That's the battle I am having to be honest. So many say I'm so strong. Am I? I know when I am weak God is strong. If I didnt' have my Lord Jesus Christ I could not go on sanely, I know that. But I'm human, stuck in this body, with emotions. I don't know what I want to do. Do I go through the scans, the injections, the infussions, the radition or have I had enough? This is where I'm at. I feel if I don't, I'm letting so many down. But I have to do what is best for me, right??? I sort of feel done, and even over-done. I'm kind of weary, not so strong. It's not that I want to give up, but maybe. Done a lot with all the health stuff between me and Ron. I look at eternal life as glorious. Why wouldn't I let go and go there? Guess I want others to give me their permission to let me go. And yet there is a part of me that wants to fight. I'm conflicted. Please pray for me, for Ron and my beloved family and dearest friends. This is so hard. Wish it wasn't. So want to just paint. Maybe that's what I need to do.

October 14, 2014

16 Projects with 8 Instructors. Two workshops uploaded each day starting November 1st through the 8th. All workshops will be available for six months thereafter!! Once you register and purchase the workshops, supply lists will be availabe so you can be ready to start creating.

Also, when in the site, you will find a drop down menu of each Instructor. Whoever you click on gets credit for the purchase of this collaboration.

June 26, 2014

My plan was to take this year off from teaching in person, but when Ann asked me to come up to her new place in Benicia, California, I couldn't say no. I adore Ann, her husband Mark and all the gals up there in No. Calif.

Registration Now OPEN at Femmage, Benicia, CA

August 16th 2014

Workshop “Cloth Connection”

In this workshop we will build layers of fibers to our background, connecting various textures creating dimension. Mounting a photo onto an old antique book cover, we will create an interesting textured centerpiece. The bottom piece of our cloth will be created using bits of this and that with a very fun technique using paper, threads and water. This is a wonderful way to take all your little scraps of materials and lace and create a fiber-web unique and delicate. You will have the option to embellish your piece with embroidery stitches. I will also show you how I age my fabrics with Walnut ink and a paintbrush.

For more info please contact Ann at Femmage13@ gmail.com

August 17th, 2014

Ruching Fibers Abstract

With layers of new crisp clean fibers and your added tuck-ins, we will create an abstract Ruching effect. Using two to three colors of fabric dyes of your choice, we will then hand paint them on your assembled piece. Final touches will be adding your special little embellishments. I will share with you the multiple possibilities you can do with your final creation. These make great journal covers.

Another Sample

If you have any questions, you can also contact me at jopierotti@cox.net

May 20, 2014

For the last few years, I had my schedule jammed packed with teaching gigs. Loved every minute of it but it took a toll on me. I realized I forgot how to be an artist. I have forgotten how to create just for fun, allowing my muse to take it's course. I believe by doodling, it's helping me break through and get back to where I started.

I also started playing with my doodles in Photo Shop. So many things you can do to alter your own creations. Here are a few examples of what I did in Photo Shop with this doodle.

By playing with filters, adjusting light and shadows, I came up with different views of the original piece. I could now print these off and use as background pages in collage work. I could also print them off on fabric and use as a focal point. The opportunities to use them are endless.

Original piece.

Using Photo shop I was able to create a couple new different looks.

I could print this one out and re-color it.

A little different.

I really love how this one turned out. I could wear this!

Just fun to try and let loose, let go, just play!

I recently discovered this at Hobby Lobby. All the above where created on these 6" x 6" Tiles. I'm addicted.