Life through the eyes of a State Park Ranger's wife

Month

January 2015

Yesterday was D’s first birthday. We had a nice evening at my parents house. During the day we had to run errands to get ready for D’s party.
Today was the party. It was Toy Story themed. I had coloring pages for the kids (or any adult that wanted to color), piggy banks representing Hamm that the kids could decorate, There’s a Snake in my boot game (throw a rubber snake into a cowboy boot), pin the tail on Bullseye, a knock the cups down game (we had little pencil cups that we put pictures of the evil Mr. Potato Head’s wanted poster on and then had people knock them down), and a photo booth. We, of course, had pizza (from Costco going by Pizza Planet), a veggie tray, and chips. Goodie bags included a Toy Story activity book, Crayons, a jar of play-doh, a Toy Story cup, a crazy straw, and a large army man. For the children under one they also got a baby food pouch and a teething ring.
I wish I was able to get photos of everything, but I was too busy trying to make sure it all went well. I am exhausted and just hope that everything was a success. People said that they enjoyed the party. So I will hang my hat on that, so to speak.
D has been going non-stop since his party. He is fighting so hard not to fall asleep.
The good news (knock on wood), he finally seems to be willing to sleep in his crib!!

The other day while I was in the midst of trying to conquer the piles of laundry, the washer decided disconnect itself from the drain. Thus all of the water went out of the machine to the rest of the place. The laundry area, kitchen/dinning area, and even all the way to the carpet and down the hallway.
We used every towel we had on hand. Thankfully, our new neighbors had a shop-vac and came to help suck up what water the towels left behind.
It has been four days since the flood and the carpet is finally drying out. And it is safe to say that I am terrified to do anymore laundry at our place. I did all the laundry we had (left over and with all the towels and what not) at my in-laws yesterday. Today we are off to find a larger drainage connection tube, so hopefully it won’t dislodge again.

Lately, I’ve felt inadequate as a mother. I question everything. Am I reading enough to D? Shouldn’t he be saying more words by now? Why won’t he use a sippy cup? Why won’t he sleep? Am I wrong to have stopped breastfeeding? Is a party the right thing for a 1 year old?
I know I’m not alone in feeling the way I do. I have a couple of friends that have talked about similar feelings lately. So, if other parents feel this way, why isn’t there more support? I have noticed that a lot of websites (medical, new parent info sites, blogs, etc) kind of parent shame. They tell you if you aren’t doing ABC then you aren’t succeeding as a parent. Or you should try XYZ if you want to be the awesome parent I am. This isn’t just exclusive to the internet. Conversations with parents day to day seem to be conversations of “my child is better and here’s why”. Everyone is trying to out do one another.
I get excited because D’s top teeth are coming in. The response is usually “my younger baby has had 10 teeth for ages now” (ok I haven’t had this response, but you get my point). Or if I’m asked a question like “what size clothing is D in now?” I answer with 12 months. The response again seems to be some sort of competition. I don’t understand how we have gotten this way. Shouldn’t we support one another? So my almost 1 year old is just in 12 month clothing. I’m not leaving him home alone; I’m not feeding him poison; I’m not beating him. Why should I be shamed because he takes after his father and has a slight build? Shouldn’t the response of clothing size be: “aw that’s great. They have some really cute outfits at the store in that size”?
We should support one another. If we are doing everything in our power to do what is right by our child (or children), shouldn’t that be enough? I’m tired of being treated like I’m a horrible parent because another one feels their way is the way everyone should do it.