If you haven't yet, you need to read Steve Fishman's amazing story in New York about the Alex Rodriguez saga, in which much of the drama takes place at a Miami tanning salon, making it the most Miami story of all time. While writing the story, Fishman got his hands on a series of email exchanges between Rodriguez and Yankees president Randy Levine. They are very, very weird.

You can read all of the emails over at NY Mag—and you very much should, if only for Levine seeming to (jokingly?) suggest that Robinson Cano should start using steroids—but here are a few of our favorites.

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Here's one from May 21, 2012, right after the Yankees were shut out by the Royals:

Levine: My friend, I have always believed that in difficult times there r two ways to go. The easy way, which is to make excuses, be defensive, or blame others and shut it down. The better way is to take the challenge, get mad, get determined, and shut everyone up and perform to greater levels. I believe in u. I believe u will hit those levels. It has been a tough year in injuries, tough losses, underperformance, but we need a leader, that is you. Take the lead, get these guys going, put a chip on your shoulder. When u succeed it will be Yankees lore. There is nothing more powerful than that. I am here to support u. Tell us what u need.

Rodriguez: You are 100% correct. This is no time for blame or excuses. Is time for me to be a leader and rally the troops. I feel if I perform at a high level, put a chip on my shoulder and lead the way, then my mates will follow my lead. Is not how you start, but how you finish. Let's get it going tonight. Thanks for the support and stay in touch.

In December of 2012, A-Rod got scolded for having a party:

Levine: Pictures of party at your house circulating all around tonight … Guys in rehab don't do this. This is not the sedate, small party you […] said. You need to focus on getting better.

Rodriguez: Been prehabbing every day. Pete [Draovitch, a trainer] arrives in Miami tomorrow. Is nice to disconnect a bit in the off season. But I understand your point. Really looking forward to getting mended.

Levine: Just looking out for you.

Things turned really sour in August of this year, with Rodriguez on the verge of getting suspended and waging a passive-aggressive war with the team through the media.

Rodriguez: Can u please stop!! I want to play baseball and I could make a big difference to the game. Steinbrenner would roll in his grave IF he knew what was happening! Stop, Randy, this isn't going to be good for any of us!! You are a businessman and what you are doing is ruining the business of baseball. If u want to meet in person to discuss it, let's do it!

Levine: I received your email, the contents of which are a complete shock to me. As I have repeatedly told you, this is an MLB investigation. We had no role in initiating the investigation or assisting in the direction of the investigation. Despite your continued false accusations (which you know are false) we have acted consistently. My focus and direction, as well as that of the entire Yankees organization, has been, and continues to be, to treat you in the same manner as we do all of our players, to have you healthy and ready to play as soon as possible. Good luck.

Sorry, Alex. I don't think Randy believes in u or is very proud of u anymore :(