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Jim Garner on "A Royal stink as employee tries to sell Queen's Crap"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=83176#post-241750
Thu, 30 Oct 2014 14:33:01 +0000Jim Garner241750@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Obviously fake. It's a well known fact that members of the Royal family don't fart. Her Maj don't even shit. </p>
<p>All except for HRH the Consort of course.
</p>OGAS on "A Royal stink as employee tries to sell Queen's Crap"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=83176#post-241702
Thu, 30 Oct 2014 01:38:27 +0000OGAS241702@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Confidential royal sources disclosed yesterday that an employee has been fired for trying to smuggle one of her majesty's plops out of the royal crapper, supposedly to supply DNA to an international cloning gang. The guilty employee was meant to "guard the royal pong", a fabulous job rotated among her personal entourage. It entails stopping anybody entering the brown throne room within 20 minutes of the happy event, thus reinforcing the belief that the Queen shits vanilla and honey. Unfortunately the attempt was ill thought out and paramedics had to be called to free the hapless employee. A review of toilet procedure has been carried out and high power suction devices have been ordered to keep temptation out of the way of sniffers in the future.
</p>John Wiltshire on "Trading Standards: 'One Direction "Best Song Ever" title is highly misleading'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65327#post-190783
Wed, 14 Aug 2013 12:34:34 +0000John Wiltshire190783@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>At least One Direction is accurate - downwards...
</p>theinvisiblecitychannels on "Trading Standards: 'One Direction "Best Song Ever" title is highly misleading'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65327#post-190780
Wed, 14 Aug 2013 11:46:33 +0000theinvisiblecitychannels190780@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Oh and yes I know 'gasoline' is more American but it sounds funnier than petrol...at least I think so although: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_m17HK97M8" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_m17HK97M8</a>
</p>theinvisiblecitychannels on "Trading Standards: 'One Direction "Best Song Ever" title is highly misleading'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65327#post-190779
Wed, 14 Aug 2013 11:43:35 +0000theinvisiblecitychannels190779@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>A spokesman from Trading Standards has ordered the immediate ban of failure faced, zygote stains One Direction’s latest vacuous effort “Best Song Ever” on the grounds that the title is misleading to the point where people may stop and vomit in the streets upon hearing it even mentioned.</p>
<p>“The song labours under the misapprehension that it is the “Best Song Ever” which is clearly misleading as its total shit…in fact if anything it is the total opposite of the best song ever”</p>
<p>One Direction have just 48 hours to come up with a more accurate title, a few alternatives have been offered including; “Not Quite The Best Song Ever”, “The Worst Song Ever”, “The Shitist Song Ever”, “Not exactly what we were looking for but screw it we can’t let this gravy train die and our parents need the money song”. </p>
<p>Trading Standards said they expected complaints to grow if no action were taken.</p>
<p>“We have yet to receive a complaint but only because most people think One Direction are a government road safety campaign gone badly wrong…when they realise “god this is really happening”...they will soon be calling…either that or sticking broken glass in their ears and covering themselves with gasoline”.
</p>