the vegan soundboard

hey vegans, this is for you, because you shouldn’t have to strain your voice anymore. we’ve compiled a soundboard of all your favorite key phrases and if you use this correctly, you probably won’t ever need to talk again at all.

special thanks to the wonderful and talented brittany from sickoflettuce.com for providing us with the ultimate vegan voiceover.

this is such a piece of awesome. a friend just sent me a link to this and I discovered your blog. as a vegan who has just moved to LA from Seattle I cannot tell you how much I’m going to appreciate your blog, articles and blog roll. thank you thank you thank you.

So let’ s take a look at other products you cannot use under any circumstance.
All of these are made from animals.
First few are biggies:
- Tires : You cannot drive a vehicle, ride a bus or a bike. No transportation except walking (horses are forbidden) . And no walking on asphalt or concrete, they contain animal products. Anti- freeze, brake fluid and oil also contains animal products.
- Plastic: Several fatty acids from animals are key ingredients in plastic. No combs to untangle your greasy hair. Your B-12 and other supplements come in plastic bottles ( read more to find out about those vitamins and supplements) , so you can’ t take them. No using those little plastic produce bags at the grocery store for your veg. Oh yeah, and since almost every thing is made out of plastic or contained by it you are shit out of luck.
- Tooth paste and mouth wash: Cows provide a substance called glycerin that helps to fight dental plaque. The tooth brush is also mostly plastic. No wonder vegans have such horrible breath.
- Medicine: 350 modern pharm aceuticals are made from animal products. Anything in a gel cap contains gelatin which is made from animals. Cortisone and insulin (the synthetic stuff is very expensive and hard to get) too.
Also, Latex surgical gloves contain tallow, x- ray film contains gelatin.
- Perfume/ cologne/ deodorant: made from whales, deer or beaver. No synthetic has ever been made to match the natural animal shit. So you’ ll have to keep smelling like a cheap whore with BO.
-Wax paper , cellophane , cardboard and paper containers your processed foods come in is all made from animals.
- White sugar : purified bone ash is used to refine sugar .
- Your house or apartment: paint , wallpaper, linoleum, carpet, plywood, drywall, insulation all made from animal products, ceramic tile.
- Furniture: foam rubber contains egg whites, wood glue contains animal products.
- Laundry detergents , fabric softeners, disinfectants, house hold cleaners and polishes. You have to live a filthy life in filthy rags.
- Sunscreens , soaps , shampoos, cosmetics: all contain animal products. Lotion and makeup contain lanol in which comes from sheep’ s wool.
- Vitamins and mineral supplements: which ever vegan requires are also derived from animals.
- Fire extinguishers: use animals products.
- Electrical devices: Electrical circuitry is made from animal products. Your printers ink and/ or toner is also made from animal products.
Each of you fucking vegan hypocrites uses tons of animals each year.
Vegans do not exist . Anyone who claims to be a vegan is a smug asshole and a fucking liar. And the next time you hear someone talk about it, remind them of how they are not.

I’m black and I love my fried chicken so fuck every vegan out there. All you vegans out there are little tight ass bitches. If I could I would get my gang together and rape that fucking smile off every one of your faces.

yea… this is really terrible… And piggy… That food sounds very delicious :d… And brittany, you sound like a smug asshole yourself when you say that vegans are better then everyone else. They aren’t, they are no different then anyone else other then the fact their diet and lifestyle is different, that doesn’t mean your better then anyone else.

[...] about to get serious. if there’s one thing we vegans hold dear, it’s cupcakes (just consult the vegan sound board—5 rows down, 3 over), and this weekend the folks at urban food crawl are holding a vegan cupcake competition to find [...]