16 thoughts on “A generation not seen”

we got all these shrinks saying that it’s our parents that screwed us up…..

but at least our parents were not afraid to take the responsibility and allow us to be children. we had adults taking care of us…..who told us what to do and how to be. and it didn’t matter if they got blamed for whatever syndrome or phantom disease we had, because it was all past and what’s the harm?

but this is the harm……those accusing their parents of “raising them wrong” and being the reason for every trouble…..are raising their own kids with NOTHING. they somehow deduct that if they put the responsibility on the child…..they can’t be at fault like their parents were. so instead of making them take piano lessons…..they will give them a choice between flute, guitar, violin or piano. and THEN, when and if the child hates it or sucks…..they don’t get to blame the parents. and so the kid feels a million times worse for not being perfect……after all, they did it to themselves…..or were forced to do it to themselves because the parent wouldn’t take responsibility for the choice.

with choice comes the responsibility for whatever fallout occurs. Don’t you hate it if a friend ALWAYS makes you the one to pick the place where you’re going to eat? i have had boyfriends before that always made me pick and decide where we were going to go and what we were going to do. and that sucked …..because IF we had a lousy time, then it was ALWAYS my fault. (and the ones not doing the choosing, can pretend to themselves and you that they are such wonderful and nice people for always letting you choose) in friendships it should switch back and forth…..but we don’t always do that. somebody gets to play the heavy. But in what universe did we decide it was a good idea to make the children play the heavy?

parents so terrified of shouldering parental responsibility that they would rather believe an imaginary disease or syndrome….and then blame even further back generations for bad genetics! lol…..i mean it’s kind of funny…..the lengths that are gone to to escape any blame like we doled out to our own parents. but i don’t think the children are laughing.

and comes down to being scared of playing the bad guy that we made our own parents into. we don’t want our kids to do the same…..and we know the exact soft areas where we were able to attack our parents. meanwhile, already used to blaming everything and anything else, and god forbid we find ourselves in a situation having to accept any blame from our own kids. so when little Mary complains that she hates the violin…..you can say “well you’re the one that chose it, and it’s too expensive for us to return.”

when do you EVER remember your parent involving you in family finances? so all of a sudden…..the kid is responsible for the family not having enough money. because they can translate….and say that means it’s my fault mommy is upset that she can’t pay her visa bill…..because i CHOSE to play the violin.

and so we are a generation that used psychiatry to absolve ourselves of all blame……and they are a generation “not seen”…..speaking about our worries to them like all of a sudden the kids are supposed to be playing the shrink. not protected and held apart from our adult worries. they become the trolley cart under our luggage, disappearing beneath what we have refused to carry ourselves.

and that’s the end of today’s sermon…..lmao!!!!!!!!!!!! when the computer at school told me i was best suited to enter the clergy…..i said no way…..that isn’t what i wanted to be, and yet find myself with a soapbox tied to my feet half the time.

eh well…..just want people to see what is going on……the BEST upbringing you can give your children is the same as was offered to you……9 times out of ten. but now we don’t know apples from oranges.

millions are letting old men in glasses decide for them from some book (simply designed for them to make money….you think about that) …..letting these others tell them the best ways to treat their children.

and maybe it started with our parents……maybe they went too far or too unwavering in some aspects because a doctor decided that’s how it should be. and then those same doctors turned around and told us we get to blame our parents…..for the very same things those doctors told the parents to do. And THIS is the fallout…..three generations later. with the only ones having a great time from it all, being the psychiatric industry. their profits are through the roof….with little to no production costs. well….only to the people they decided to “help.”

that was a little joke there…..i don’t know what i’m doing….it just blows my mind. because i’m slow…..dumb as a stump and a slow thinker…..and so if i just figured this out, that means the quick ones already knew it.

but i’ve been wondering why the kids these days seem so…..haggard. and that’s it…..it’s the responsibility we have handed to them, believing allowing them so many choices is some kind of gift.

so yea….they’re grown up before their time…..but in WAY too many ways, they’re not growing up at all……they’re growing IN.

have thought about just using my little color printer to print some of them out…..but i don’t think that’s a cost-effective way to do it. those color cartridges aren’t cheap. so might at some point create a file of my favorites, and find some professional place to have real prints made up.

going to wait until i build the collection a little more…..

thanks so much, John……this one made me cry in a good way when i was finished….the cry that has a smile piercing through it, like thank god i got something right

true that there will always be a certain amount of blaming……though it seems my grandma would like complain about her dad taking her to the track when she was sick…..and she had to try to find shade under the cars in the middle, where the smell of grease and everything made her more sick. but i don’t recall her ever trying to correlate past instances like that to her own behaviors. like i never heard her say what her dad did gave her a phobia, and so when her best friend dated a mechanic, she subconsciously tried to break them up and her friend ended up hating her….and it was ALL her dad’s fault! lol……

so it’s like more than just pointing out something a parent did wrong….but USING that to excuse away our own behaviors or lack of perfection.

It seems as parents we get caught up in the dynamics of responsibility, sometimes to the point of paranoia. On one hand we feel we need to maintain a sense of control, of dominance, of guidance, yet on the other hand we are just plain terrified to let go. The child lives out their young and dependent early lives abiding, subsiding, questioning with few understandable answers…and then we either run frantically out the front door to face the world on our own or we’re pushed out the door to do same.

well you know what i’m thinking, is we have grade schoolers now going through teenage rebellions, because they are given too many decisions to make, too early.

and why i use the term “gift” in this write….is we have this cultural-wide belief, or idea….that giving somebody a choice is a way of being nice to them. but what it actually is, is assigning responsibility to somebody else.

and it sucks having to be the one responsible…..especially now a days where the psycho babble gets people to turn around and blame their parent for absolutely every little dumb thing they can find wrong in their lives. so it’s more difficult to decide what’s right for your children, and do it….without all these questions and anxieties as to whether you have made the right choice for them.

but the important thing is not making the right choice….it’s making the choice. right or wrong….when the parent shoulders the responsibility to just steadfastly make the decisions for their children……they are giving the child room to be a child.

of course kids grow out of needing the parent to govern them, and then you get the wonderful push/pull of the teens. and you have to decide how ready your child is to begin making their own decisions. and often one may get so accustomed to calling the shots….that the kid has to practically kick you in the face to get you to allow them to begin governing themselves.

mostly, am trying to figure out what’s going on with kids these days……because there’s something not right.

and i think it’s the aspect of choice/responsibility that parents are too afraid to shoulder themselves. they think they are being progressive and modern by letting the kids make decisions…..and am talking the little ones….why i used the term baby in this write. parents are asking kids what movie they want, rather than just taking them to a movie they want them to see. they are asking them what store they want to go to to buy their clothes. they’re asking the kids what they want for dinner….rather than setting a plate for them, and saying “eat.” then if the kid ends up not getting the right amount of this and that….the parent can go “he only wants to eat hotdogs” and shrug off the responsibility of the child’s nutrition, as being the child’s fault.

so i’m saying giving younger children choices is no favor to them…..and that’s what our generation has been doing wrong. something somewhere made us believe that the more choices you have, the better. but that is not true…..the less choices you have, the easier it is to come to a decision in the first place, and the less confusing it is to figure out what you SHOULD have done, if what you chose leads to poor consequences.

but we have this commercial attitude, that having more choices is better. It’s not. but we think it is….we think having 500 different kinds of cars to choose from is a GOOD thing. and it’s NOT. period.

now, once in awhile, having the opportunity to exercise choice can be something that can boost the child’s sense of accomplishment…..like my grandmother, as we reached 10 or so….began letting us kids be the ones to pick out the christmas tree each year.

but the whole “gifting someone with choice” is getting ridiculous….people are even taking their PETS into the pet store to have the pet help decide what food or toys to buy. now what in god’s name brought us to this?