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Detroit: F4 Entertainment Mecca

Everyone who reads this site knows that the 2009 Final Four, which tips off in just 26 hoops-filled days, will take place in the Motor City this year. Ahhh, Detroit – the automobile and stagflation capital of the world!

We won’t be the first nor the last to rip on D-town in the ensuing weeks, but let us make it up to the fine citizens of SE Michigan by relating the world-class entertainment that the city will be providing for the thousands of college hoops fans who’ll be making the trek that weekend. From CNNSI:

Fergie, the Pussycat Dolls and Staind are among the musical acts scheduled to perform during three days of free music concerts tied to the Final Four in Detroit. The NCAA and the local organizing committee on Monday announced the first part of the musical lineup for the event, which will take place Friday-Sunday, April 3-5, on the city’s riverfront. Saturday’s lineup features the Pussycat Dolls and Gavin DeGraw. On Sunday, “American Idol” star Ryan Seacrest will host the day’s activities, including performances from Fergie, Staind and Gym Class Heroes.

Ok, not bad – a party ain’t no party until Ryan Seacrest shows up. Staind is a little 90s, but Fergie and Pussycat Dolls are more modern and hip, right? Alright, alright… maybe not, but at least they’re trying to stay relevant – neither have made it on to Celebrity Apprentice yet.

What was left out of the press report were some of the other free celebrations that Detroit has in store for basketball fans that weekend. Let’s take a look-see…

Devil’s Night (moved to the night before the F4 in 2009). Detroit’s version of Kristallnacht. Burn, baby, burn. Let’s just hope they leave Ford Field alone.

Devil's Night - Detroit

Foreclosure Madness. With all the flush tourists pouring into town ready to spend cash, get ready for foreclosure madness! Yes, you too can buy dozens of homes for pennies on the dollar. Or, literally a dollar (see below). You may come to Detroit as a regular dude with a regular mortgage back home, but you’ll leave there as a hardened slumlord overseeing multiple properties. The American Dream… who knew it was right there in the Motor City?

Pick One - the Newspaper or the House? Both are $1.

Normally, we might be scared of blowback (probably a really bad choice of words here), but we’re not going to the F4 and it’s highly unlikely Detroiters have gotten the Internet yet.