Over To Our Percussion Correspondent
We're in the THROES of PACKING at the moment, as we're off to MAJORCA for the week. We had a LOVELY gig last night, a whole stream of Nice People turned up, and afterwards The Wood Children were GRATE - especially NIck, who i know only from his Statesmanlike DEMEANOUR as promoter at the 12 Bar, as he was TRANSFORMED into Charismatic ROCK Frontman. ACE!

As I say I'll be away for a week now, so any SHOP orders will be filled when I return, and the NEWSLETTER will hopefully come out a week on Monday. In the meantime, why not read Tim's Eloquent Description of events at thevalidators.com? He speaks TRUTH!

Frenetic Activity
After my ADVENTURE IN DENTISTRY yesterday i spent the rest of the day TOILING at the COALFACE OF ROCK, trying to finish off the artwork for "The Uberset" AND do all of the multimedia ASPECT. It was a whole lot of EFFORT, but I'm quite pleased with it - click here for a sneaky look at the cover. The multimedia bit's fairly basic - it's got links, lyrics for the songs, a bit of NOTES for each, details of the album each song comes from and an extra BONUS song taken from each album - but it DOES look quite nice, and it has what i believe they call an "Easter Egg", in Modern Parlance.

It's not hidden very well, but it is a BIT - it's an entirely NEW SONG, what i wrote yesterday afternoon. I say "I wrote", but really it is an Hibbett/Machine/Pattison composition, as it is based on an email Tim sent to The Validators, which Francis Albert responded to. LYRICS are in the Song Blog, DETAILS are in the Annotations, and as stated the SONG itself can be found on the CD.

It's all being sent off the be manufactured tonight, and hopefully it'll be being made whilst i'm on HOLIDAY next week. We're off to play at The Water Rats tonight, and if I get time i shall BLOG it tomorrow morning before we go, otherwise everybody take care and I'll FACT BACK a week on Monday, with holiday TALES and, hopefully, the next issue of the newsletter. Now, where's me passport?

Dentistry And Christmas
I'm sure anybody visiting the site is thinking "Enough about the ROCK MUSIC already, what about your TEETH?" so here's the latest DENTAL UPDATE: OW! It really HURT!

I went to see my Slightly Camp South American Lady Dentist again today, for some more cleaning out of the accumulated crap in my gums. She began our encounter by saying "Now then Mark my darling, are you ready for me to hurt you?" and she wasn't kidding - BLIMEY! A big metal SPIKE prodded VIGOROUSLY straight into your LIVING FLESH and then WRIGGLED between the teeth, causing huge PLUMES of goodness knows what to fly out of your mouth is really not a very pleasant experience. Pretty quickly i gave up looking tough and GRIPPED the chair handles, WINCED visibly, SCREWED my face up, and sweated BUCKETS of PURE FEAR. After a while she started humming nursery rhymes - it was like being in the grip of a SUPER VILLAIN! Later on she pretended to finish, then went "And one more time! AHAHAHAHAHAAA! Soon all humanity shall know my WRATH!"

OK, not the last bit, but still, as soon as she'd finished i LEAPT out of the chair and stood on the far side of the room, trying to casually say "So, should i floss more then?" whilst EDGING for the door. The nice thing was that walking home everything felt GRATE, as she had STOPPED poking my mouth with a SPIKE, but on reflection i would have sacrificed the RELIEF and just NOT gone through that ORDEAL.

When i got home again I faced another deadly onslaught that I had long dreaded coming to pass (NB I'm reading Essential Marvel Super Villain Team-Up at the moment, so please watch out for STAN LEE-isms throughout - thanks, true believer!) - saying "No!" to Christmas Gigs! As I've probably mentioned before, myself and the Gums Of My Jaw are going on a GRAND CIRCUMNAVIGATION later in the year. We're off to New York around November 20th, then San Francisco, Hawaii, New Zealand (for my brother's wedding) and finally Sinagpore before getting home for a MAD CHRISTMAS SHOPPING RUSH on December 19th. It's BRILLIANT, but it DOES mean I'm probably NOT going to get to do any Christmas Gigs (well, I'm free on the 21st and 22nd, if anybody's asking...). I'd GIRDED myself for this, but STILL it was a bit of a shock when i got TWO offers this morning, from two LOVELY people, and had to say no. I don't LIKE saying no to gigs, i always worry that word will get round and I'll never get any again, but still i shall console myself with some SURFING, also possibly some sunbathing.

In, Out, Job Done
I got on the train once again last night for CATFORD, and then down the road to Orange and Blue Studios, where i was booked in to record THE UBERSET!

The idea, as I've already GONE ON ABOUT, is to have a CD of my LIVE SET, so that when I do gigs and people say "Ooh, can I have a CD with [SONG A] and [SONG B] on it?" i can actually GIVE them something, rather than saying slightly pathetically "Er... well [SONG A] is on [ALBUM C], in a completely different format to how you've just heard it, and [SONG B] isn't actually on anything yet. Sorry." Hey! I don't like to disappoint people! ALSO i can use it when I need to send a CD off for getting a SOLO GIG, rather than, again slightly pathetically, saying "Well, i do do SOME of the songs on this CD, but not with a band, and a bit faster. Sorry."

ALSO, and most importantly for my COMFORT ZONE, I'm going to get them done in those little CARDBOARD WALLETS, as they are approx. 3,000,000 times easier to LUG AROUND in a rucksack than the equivalent number of CDs in cases. HOLA! Everyone's a winner!

The CD will also feature a small MULTIMEDIA SECTION - Mr Pattison has questioned the wisdom of selling people purely SOLO CDs, as that doesn't provide much GATEWAY to the brightly coloured world of The Validators, and he is CORRECT, so as well as the usual LYRICS for each song there'll also be information about the album from whence they came AND for each album one or two FREE SAMPLER TRACKS! This is, i think, GOOD VALUE, no?

That was the idea anyway, and things looked GOOD from the off when I turned up and was offered a cup of TEA. NICE! Orange & Blue is basically Malcolm's living room, converted into a PROPER STUDIO with every bit of KIT you could wish for, but still a living room. THUS there were SOFAs in the room with me, and also PEOPLE. Malcolm had suggested getting an audience IN, and though i must admit i found it a little off-putting to start with, once i got used to it it was a BLOODY GRATE idea, ESPECIALLY when we got to songs with Audience Participation. It was like doing a LOVELY GIG, and it was also much less LONESOME than recording can sometimes be.

Also there were two small kittens. Aaah! Surely Mariah Carey's agent must be booking a stint in Catford even now?

I started off by doing a few quieter songs, including "Fly Me To The Moon" and "We Only Ever Meet In Church" which AREN'T for the album but ARE to be part of my session for Marcelle Van Hoef's programme. As well as these I did "The Perfect Love Song", "Good Luck In Your New Job", and "I Come From The Fens", before THE AUDIENCE officially came in. We then ROMPED through another ELEVEN songs, and a mighty fine time was had. It WAS like doing a gig, except i was allowed to stop and start again a couple of times when i cocked up (though sometimes I didn't bother - "The Lesson Of The Smiths" goes a bit wonky at the end, for instance, but it FELT so good I've left it as it is), and I even did SECOND TAKES for "The Peterborough All Saints Wide Game Team (group B)" and "Work's All Right (when it's a proper job)". Here's the full list of EVERYTHING i did, in APPROXIMATE order of recordings:

Good Luck In Your New Job

I Come From The Fens

Fly Me To The Moon

We Only Ever Meet In Church

The Perfect Love Song

The Lesson Of The Smiths

Red & White Sockets

Things'll Be Different (when I'm in charge)

Hey Hey 16K

Never Going Back To Aldi's

The Peterborough All-Saints' Wide Game Team (Group B)

Work's All Right (when it's a proper job)

Fucking Hippy

Clubbing In The Week

Easily Impressed

Boom Shake The Room

It's a LOT isn't it? As I say, it felt like a GIG, but this did mean that i felt rather GUILTY when it came to COACHING the audience. For instance, i quite fancied having some Audience Participation on the "This Is Not A Library!" bits of "Things'll Be Different", as otherwise that section sounds a bit DAFT, so PRACTICED it with everyone first whilst things were being set up. We did similar with several other songs, and though it DID feel a bit like cheating, it sounded GOOD. We DIDN'T do it much with "Boom Shake The Room" though, which ALSO worked nicely as it's a lovely way to END things, a bit raggedy and OBVIOUSLY at the end of Quite A Long Session. The audience, they were GRATE!

Malcolm, Simon (Malcolm's cousin and APPRENTICE) then retired to the other room, where we spent a couple of hours MIXING. MOST of this time was spent deciding which bits of cheering/other audience noises to keep in, and also DELIGHTING in the VERITE of hearing bits of CREAKING CHAIRS and, at one point, my HEAVY BREATHING as i played a Difficult Bit in "We Only Ever Meet In Church". We finished just after midnight, and so after some MANLY HANDSHAKES I headed off into the night for a Mini-Cab back to Leytonstone.

Now I've got a bit of a RUSH on to try and get it all finished, but i'm well chuffed with how it sounds, and soon, dear reader, you may be able to hear it too!

Whither Pipes Of Peace?
Much to my JEALOUS ENVY Mr Francis Albert Machine went to Somerset House last week, to see The Lemonheads do "It's A Shame About Ray", as part of the Fairly Cool Bands Doing Their Best Albums FESTIVAL that they're doing at the moment. It's a REALLY good idea, and I was especially pleased to find at least a couple of the albums lined up are ones that I'D have said were some of the best EVER. Indeed, it was only a few weeks ago, driving to Bristol that he and I named, respectively, "It's A Shame About Ray" and "If You're Feeling Sinister" as two of THE best Albums We Actually Bought At The Time... EVER!

This, by the way, is an ACE Pub Conversation or Car Journey Topic - "The Best Albums Of All Time" tends to get a bit BORING really, as everyone has to say "Revolver", "Pet Sounds", blah blah, and there's not much space for a FITE. HOWEVER! If you limit it to albums that you ACTUALLY BOUGHT when it ACTUALLY CAME OUT, and then also add a clause saying you can only have one album per BAND, then it is much more fun, and means you get to wax LYRICAL about THE TIMES and THE PLACES you first heard it, and where possible show off about... oh, I don't know, seeing Belle & Sebastian at QMU and... what? OK, I shall not go on about THAT yet again, but here is my Off The Top Of My Head Top 5 Albums I Actually Bought When They Actually Came Out (but not in order of preference):

I was going to go for TEN, but then realised i may have to do something ELSE today and can live without the emotional TURMOIL. As stated, "It's A Shame About Ray" would be in there, probably "The Stone Roses" and "The La's" (though i know that's a fairly DULL choice), and maybe "Promenade" by The Divine Comedy. There's also alternative choices by FOUR of those FIVE that could have got in there ("Kingsize" by The Boo Radleys ESPECIALLY), which is why the Only One Album Per Band RULE is so good. Hey hey, why not try it at home?

Anyway, it's quite nice to discover that my musical taste is not ENTIRELY unsupported by other people, though it's slightly odd to find that albums which, to ME, came out very recently, have actually slid into mainstream acceptance, and that it's obviously people MY age who are starting to define such things. Is this how baby boomers feel? I guess all those Britpop Documentaries were similar for me to how my parents must have felt watching "The Rock & Roll Years", during which my dear step-papa LECTURED me at SOME length about how "The Moody Blues Were Better Than The Beatles: FACT!"

If this is so, can we NOT have Cat Power in THE CANON? I've not actually HEARD "The Covers Album" that was supposed to be one of The Greats in the season, but i DID go and see her when she was promoting it, and it WAS absolutely THE longest and WORST gig i have ever been to. It was like watching an already sick pigeon that had just been knocked down staggering around in a daze, whilst surrounded by people unused to smiling clapping their hands in DELIGHT saying "Marvellous! It's been sick! And look - it's deconstructing the nature of song by walking into the kerb again and again!" Yes yes, i know, THE LESSON OF THE SMITHS and all that, but it was SUCH a SPECTACULARLY AWFUL GIG that i felt GUILT by association to be stood watching it.

Hmmm... I've just realised, Jeff Wayne's doing "War Of The Worlds" as a LIVE SHOW isn't he? I didn't buy that at the time it came out (my DAD did, like everybody else in the whole country, by LAW) but i'd pay GOOD MONEY to go and see it. Oh baby! THE CANON, it NEEDS more Martian Death Rays!

Lewisham
It was a difficult journey to distant LEWISHAM last night, as the train i was on spent half an hour standing just outside London Bridge station, without announcements or indeed any open windows, so it all got a bit stressful... luckily i had my NEW BOOK: "Brand New Friend" by Mike Gayle. All his books are ACE, and, having just finished it on the way in today, i can confirm that this one is too. He came to one of my gigs once you know, OH yes!

I eventually escaped the transport system, and got to the Fox & Firkin to find it didn't really matter as everything was running at least an hour late. Lewisham and ENVIRONS is a VERY relaxed place, every time I've ever been there things run late and nobody seems to mind as they are very RELAXED about it. I guess it is because everyone there LIVES nearby, and are unfettered by worries of transport, and it is very pleasant indeed, the only downside being i always seem to end up leaving early.

Anyway, eventually the other bands were sorted and set up (during which i chatted to MANY lovely people who'd turned up, including Nick Who Is Friends With The Chemistry Experiment, Ian The Organiser and the WHOLE Kooba Radio KREW, it was LOVELY), and Carl who was ALSO running things said "I don't think you need a soundcheck do you?" then "Is that really insulting to you? As Guy With Acoustic Guitar?" and it was an INTERESTING question. The answer is not "insulting" exactly, but it is a bit FRUSTRATING sometimes when people assume that, just because you're on your own, you don't need a soundcheck. True, a soundcheck of just voice and guitar needn't take more than a couple of minutes (tho GOODNESS KNOWS there are plenty of people who take MUCH MUCH LONGER over it - also the same people who will quite happily go WAY over their alloted slot... but i DIGRESS) but it's always good to... well, CHECk the SOUND is working. ALSO, daft tho it may seem, it's important in that it makes clear that HEY! there may only be ONE of you, but you're playing for JUST as long as the BAND on afterwards, and are NOT just a temporary diversion between the "main acts". I explained this to Carl and then felt HORRIBLY GUILTY in case he thought i was directing these comments at him! If anybody sees him, please tell him i wasn't - it's something I've thought of a LOT, and he's the first person thoughtful enough to ask about it!

So yes, I sang about half of "Fly Me To The Moon", after which The Middle Aged Lady Regular Halfway Through A Bottle Of Wine (another STAPLE of this sort of thing, similar to The Guy Who Thought It Was An Acoustic Night) asked why I'd stopped singing it, so I promised I'd do it in the main set, which i DID, along with a few others as FOLLOWS:

Fly Me To The Moon

The Peterborough All-Saints' Wide Game Team (Group B)

Red & White Sockets

Never Going Back To Aldi's

Good Luck In Your New Job

Clubbing In The Week

Fucking Hippy

The Lesson Of The Smiths

Easily Impressed

Boom Shake The Room

It went REALLY WELL! I really really REALLY enjoyed myself. Starting with "Fly Me To The Moon" made a nice change, and I was INTO it dead quickly. I'd worried a little about doing "Never Going Back To Aldi's" as I haven't often played it on my own, but I slowed it down a bit and had some STOPS, especially for the "I will never accept Steps" bit, and was RATHER pleased with it. I was also, truth be told, rather pleased with MYSELF - it feels GOOD to be confident enough to CHANGE things around a bit, and it's not something i feel as often as I'd like, so it's NICE when it does happen. It feels like - oh baby! - i have DEVELOPED as an ARTISTE!

GET ME! So yes, it was most pleasant. "Good Luck In Your New Job" went well (it's going to be coming off the SUBS bench a bit more often now i reckon), some people CHEERED at the very IDEA of Audience Participation in "Easily Impressed" and did it WELL, and "Boom Shake The Room" was FAB!

I had a LOVELY time, and then ALSO enjoyed going round the room giving out the new flyers. That is SUCH a good idea - not only is it a really HANDY way of getting round to see if anybody wants to buy a CD without me losing ALL dignity, but hopefully it'll mean people who liked it can come and get on the mailing list. If this is YOU, gentle reader, then HELLO! WELCOME!

When all was done i had a chat with TEAM KOOBA, passing on WISE ADVICE to Young Myles, discussing with Alex BLOG NERVES (he worried that anything he said might be taken down and used in BLOG form, and i confessed that i find it WEIRD when i LAUNCH into telling somebody a story and they say "Yes, i know, i read your webpage". It can be slightly UNNERVING!), and generally talking MANLY THINGS with Mr J YEAH. I was relieved to find i wasn't the ONLY one who was UNSETTLED by the toilets - they'd put CANDLES everywhere, it was like going into a BOUDOIR whilst the normal resident had nipped out for more POT POURRI, which isn't really the kind of ambience one necessarily WANTS in a Gents Lavatory - and we then discussed the inevitability of THE MAN BRA, and various body building and KARATE stances one might use to diminish the Masculine Teat.

Basically, i had a LOVELY time, only diminished by having to leave to catch THE MONORAIL, and so miss the Nathan Persad All-Stars. I SPED through the City Of The Future thinking what a GRATE life it is, really.

FASHION!
A NEW THRILL over in the MJ Hibbett Online Emporium, it's the debut of the NEW Hey Hey 16K t-shirt, as LAUNCHED in Manchester at the weekend. They're a new design, they're ethically manufactured, they're comfortable, and they come in many different sizes. Go look!

RUMINATIONS
I went to a GIG last night, to see The Chemistry Experiment... and didn't get in. They were supporting American Analog Set, and the whole thing had SOLD OUT, which was extremely disappointing (for me, that is, probably not for American Analog Set) as The Ink In My Pen had rushed across London to see them, as even after YEARS of me ranting about how GRATE the Chemistry Experiment are, she has never seen them. Her quest goes on.

We DID however console ourselves by going to THE PUB, and having a LOVELY time. We hardly ever just go to the pub together - my dears our GIDDY SOCIAL LIVES tend to mean we socialise seperately a lot of the time, purely to fit it all in - and it is such a shame as I do believe we are both Very Good at Going To The Pub. When the two of us are together it is perhaps something that tourists might like to pay good money to see, the ancient art of Talking About Stuff In The PUB done to it's highest levels. It is, i guess, a SYMPTOM of Life In The Big City, and not exactly a RARE thing, but it is always nice to be reminded that you have done VERY WELL INDEED in your choice of Significant Other...

I would say "and it was nice for me too" at this point, but that would be to taint a beautiful moment with GAGGERY. Anyway, yes, it is the kind of FEELING that Mr Sir Paul McCartney used to celebrate in his Actually OK late-80's and early 90's albums, especially in "We Got Married" which I've always really liked but does not TEND to get listed in those big lists of "10 Songs From His SOlo Albums That Are Actually All Right" things you see whenever he releases a new album. "Single Pigeon" too.

I thought of Macca last night in this context largely because I had the song "Jenny Wren" from the new album going round my head. Ooh, it is a LOVELY song that is, much like the rest of it. On first listen I was fairly unimpressed by the whole thing, but MORE listening has made it GROW upon me MASSIVELY. As well as the TOONS and that, i really like the way he seems to have RELAXED into being HIM on this one. I LOVE the way he sounds more SCOUSE than he ever has done before - too many times, in the past, he's done a Cod-American accent, as if he's EMBARRASSED to sing things in his own voice, or wants to seem SINCERE, but on this one it SOUNDS like a middle aged guy from Liverpool singing to some friends. I also like the way there's a BIT of weirdness going on, but nobody's SHOWING OFF about it, it's not like he's trying to COMPETE with other people who are doing it.

It's just a LOVELY record, "A Real Return To Form" as everybody says, although "Flaming Pie" was ACE and it wasn't THAT long ago. It's been a good WEEK for New CDs, as i ALSo got "Achtung Bono" by Half Man Half Biscuit. It's new albums from two of my favourite ACTS, EVER! This one ALSO passed me by on first listen, but on second and third - OH YEAH! ESPECIALLY "Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo" which i spent a LOT of last night's pub session explaining to the Teabag In My Cup Of Tea Preparation Ritual, and also "Surging Out Of Convalescence", and the LOVELY "For What Is Chatteris" and... well, all of it really. The biscuits! Come to That London please, that I may see you at my EASE!

There we go - Nightlife and two album reviews, call me THE REVIEW SECTION!

Call Me Kenneth?
It is THE LAW for anybody doing a BLOG to occasionally mentioned Unusal Referrers, and it is one i intend to abide by. For those confused by this FLURRY of TECHNOBABBLE: i have a little FUNCTION on this page so that every time somebody visits i know which link REFERRED them here e.g. if you came here from the AAS page, I'll get "http://www.artistsagainstsuccess.com" in my list of referrers.

When people use SEARCH ENGINES to find us, I also get to see what they were searching for, and though usually it's either "MJ Hibbett","MJ Hibbert" (the most common mispelling, tho not my favourite - that would be MJ Himmell, from Malcfest) or "Hey Hey 16K", sometimes it is something VERY DIFFERENT, and today I have had one VERY DIFFERENT INDEED: http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&lr=&q=related:www.robotwars.co.uk/.

Someone was searching google for webpages LIKE Robot Wars, and I come fourth in the list! Including the actual site itself!! How did this happen? These are webpages for enlightenment, joy, and sonic soundness, not metallic mayhem, droidal damage and robotic rumbuctiousness! Looking down the list a little further i note that the NEXT most-like-Robot-Wars site is Peterborough City Council! Is this the explanation? Is Peterborough in fact NOT an extremely dull city whose only saving graces are its beer festival and cathedral, but ACTUALLY an arena for Automatic Annihilation, Cyber Stomping and Machine Mashing? It would certainly explain why they have those crash barriers and remote control booths in Cathedral Square, but I never saw Phillipa Forester in Queensgate...

Manchester
Off to MANCHESTER on Saturday for one of the ODDEST and simultaneously MOST FUN gigs we've ever done - it was Retrovision/Step Back In Time, a convention for RETRO GAMERS...

I set off LOADED DOWN with a HUGE rucksack containing ALL the new Hey Hey 16K t-shirts (coming to the online shop soon!), my electronic guitar, and a large WHEELY SUITCASE full of CDs. I had to CLAMBER up the stairs to Leytonstone High Road Station and nearly DONE MYSELF IN right there and then. I got to Euston and had a SURPRISINGLY NICE trip to Manchester courtesy of Virgin, during which I read most of "Starship Troopers" by Robert Heinlein, what Mr Charles de Fighting Cocks leant me. It was GRATE! It DID however lead me to think of things in terms of a FIGHTING UNIT for the rest of the weekend, tho this wasn't so bad as this is pretty much what the Validators ARE.

Anyway, I was met by Tiger Tom McClure at the station, and off we went, passing that huge SPIKY STATUE outside the City Ground. Our hotel was ALSO Surprisingly Nice, so we checked in, got SORTED, then headed off to the venue. We all gradually arrived and got set up. The soundman was a really nice chap, but seemed to have an odd way of going about things - later we discovered this was his FIRST EVER TIME at doing the sound for a gig, which did explain a few things, but i predict a FINE FUTURE for him, as he gave off a feeling of UNRUFFLEDNESS throughout, which is always helpful.

I'd arrived wearing my "Hey Hey 16K" t-shirt, and this caused a few reactions through the afternoon when people realised it was ME, The Hey Hey 16K guy in PERSON. Several people started singing the song as i passed, there were many double takes, and later on when I went round the main room putting down flyers i was APPREHENDED by MANY MANY PEOPLE who wanted to shake my hand or even HUG me. It was weird, but REALLY NICE - it was like being REALLY FAMOUS!

We started off our Actual Gig a bit earlier than expected, at 8pm, and THIS is what we played:

Quality Of Life Enhancement Device

Hey Hey 16K

Better Things To Do

Never Going Back To Aldi's

The Gay Train

The Lesson Of The Smiths

Easily Impressed

Hey Hey 16K

Yes, we DID do "Hey Hey 16K" twice! The first time was really nice, everyone seemed really pleased to hear it, and we were GLAD. The rest of the set then sounded pretty ROPEY - we couldn't really hear each other, especially the vocals which were inaudible, except at the end when Emma was suddenly SO LOUD that the monitors were distorting, and except for Tim who apparently could only hear ME throughout... it was a shame, as it would have been nice to play really WELL, but the sound guy WAS trying, and I think it went OK considering. I was glad we did "Hey Hey 16K" again at the end, especially as a whole BUNCH of people came right down the front, and I left THEM to sing the "For n=0 to 2" bit, which was the BEST bit of the whole gig.

Afterwards things became a little CRAZY. We stood behind the Merchandising Stand, and there was a gentle RUSH, during which something fairly KRAZY happened - somebody asked if they could have their picture taken with me, and then a bunch of OTHER people saw this happening, and formed a small QUEUE! Now, I've signed a few autographs over the years (and tried not to look quite as PLEASED to be doing so as I always AM), but never this sort of thing - this really WAS like being famous! On the one hand I was thinking "COR! This is FUN!" and on the other my BRANE was dissolving with the LOOPINESS of the whole thing... so i decided to just GO! with it, and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I also discovered a SECRET TALENT of Mr McClure - STOCK CONTROL! I'd asked him to give me a hand at the stall, and he LEAPT to the task like a man possessed. Whilst i was busy POSING he'd reorganised the entire STOCK, so that I could say "Tom! One Large T-Shirt and Two Smalls please!" and there they'd be, ready for CUSTOM. It worked really well, and this will be his NEW JOB from hereonin. Well done Tom!

After the rush me and Emma were left on the stall whilst the others went for CHIPS, and we stood and watched the other band, who appeared to be playing WORLD MUSIC. It was ODD in the VERY EXTREME, everyone went WILD at the end of every song, and apparently these were all old Commodore 64 tunes, played with FLUTES and VIOLINS. Mrs Pattison and I confessed our CONFUSION to each other, but everyone else seemed VERY HAPPY, especially the club's landlord. He was OVERJOYED to have a huge crowd of BLOKES, drinking a LOT all weekend whilst being very POLITE and having FUN, and indeed it was a VERY LOVELY ATMOSPHERE all round.

Mr F Machine had left very early in an effort to reach Derby Last Orders, so it was four of us who finally packed up and made for the hotel. Here we discussed NEXT year (we're going to rehearse some OLD songs, like "Stop, Look And Listen" so we can vary the setlists a bit more) and sat around feeling PERPLEXED by the whole affair. Had it really happened? Other people in the hotel had been there, and cheerily waved as they passed us, so it seemed it HAD. It also seemed that there had been at least THREE weddings in the hotel, as the building had a LARGE STOCK of BRIDES, but it was late by then and we were confused.

In summary then, it was a pretty amazing evening! It's a shame we didn't PLAY better, but the rest of the weekend MORE than made up for it - it was LOVELY!

Mixing and TOMORROW
OOH! I've just been listening to the new MIX of "Quality Of Life Enhancement Machine", fresh from Frankie Machine's SOUND LAB. It's VERY exciting, there's BITS in it , and LOUDNESS and all sorts of things that usually we never have time to think about. It's also WEIRD listening to it, as we've never really REmixed anything before, as such - Kev and I usually sat down and did the mixing EITHER just after we'd recorded it OR using the recording mix as a basis, so doing it from scratch again is a bit disorientating at first, but it seems to be WORKING. HOOPLA!

In other news, if anybody is coming to see us tomorrow night at RETROVISION, we'll be there from about 7pm trying to flog t-shirts (they're NICE!), and then onstage, i think, about 8.30-9pm. There will be MUCHO NEW MATERIAL!

Cambridge
Off to CAMBRIDGE again last night, to play at The Living Room. It always Gently Surprises me when i realise how close THE FENS nudges onto London, and it was LOVELY to be back. I always feel SAFER somewhere that's nice and FLAT, and personally think it's a LOT nicer to look at than all those messy hills, and the SKY last night was HUGE and BEAUTIFUL. Hills - PAH! Why on earth would people choose to live in such LUMPY places? Why not go and live somewhere that's already been LEVELLED, ready for easy house building, low impact walking, and pleasurable cycling? OK, The Fens ARE well below sea level, but HEY! It's not like that's ever caused anybody any problems, right?

Anyway, I got to Cambridge and STROLLED (easily, without recourse to gradients) over to the venue. Cambridge is a funny old place - it appears to be ENTIRELY inhabited by ACADEMICS. It's very hard to tell the difference between shops and houses, especially for the people who LIVE in them - one house had a WHITE BOARD outside listing the items which the owner had got bored of owning, and wished to sell. ODD SHOPS (one house was also a Bedside Lamp Showroom) proliferated, the slightly too long WHISPY FRINGE was the IN haircut, and even the Kebab Shop had a latin name. It's as if the city motto is "Baaaah! Why on earth SHOULDN'T i [where pyjamas to work/turn my living room into a chemist's/try to cure the common cold and invent a bomb to destroy existence as a side product]? Poo poo!"

When I got to the venue I found things were running a bit behind, so nipped down the road to The Man In The Moon for a quick PINT and some CHIPS AND PEAS from the shop over the road. A local CAT joined me for tea, harangued me for food, and then when i gave in turned his nose up at CHIPS. What did you THINK i was eating, CAT FOOD? Whilst this was going on i noted a HORDE of YOUTHS who were very obviously doing there first ever gig, and had brought their little pals with them. They were all dressed up as Californian GOTHS, but their attempts to eschew conventional morality and live as nihilistic children of the future were rather dampened by their broadly genteel accents and the FACT that one of their MUMS had driven them there and was sitting outside the venue keeping an eye an them. BLESS! I shortly realised that the MUM was a LOT closer to my age than the BAND were, and it was at this point i decided it was about time to head back.

The Living Room is the CELLAR underneath the CB2 BISTRO (who knew such things still existed? Academics LOVE a good Bistro!), and initially i was SKEPTICAL, as the STAGE was filled with a SOFA, and the floor was covered with SCATTER CUSHIONS... which i soon found to be RATHER COMFY. After a short soundcheck i nipped outside to Wander Aimlessly, only to discover Paul and Donna, THE FINCHES, two LOVELY people who i know from Back In The Day in Leicester. It was GRATE to see them, and a MIGHTY RELIEF to see some people i knew. We went inside and had a drink and chat, then went downstairs to discover JEFF and ED from round IPSWICH way were also there - aaah, it felt mighty FINE to be amongst such nice people!

I was supposed to be on first, but we had been visited by a long standing PHENOMENEN: The Guy Who Thought It Was An Open Mike Night. Aah! I don't know what goes ON in the Open Mike WORLD, but they seem to have very poorly put together listings, as The Guy Who Thought It Was An Open Mike Night is ALWAYS turning up at gigs i do, and he always appears to have travelled a Great Distance to be there. What ALWAYS happens (and did last night) is that the PROMOTERS feel sorry for The Guy Who Thought It Was An Open Mike Night, and say "OK, you can do a couple of songs at the start if you like", because The Guy Who Thought It Was An Open Mike Night only ever turns up at gigs run by NICE PROMOTERS in small venues. I personally would LOVE to see The Guy Who Thought It Was An Open Mike Night try it on at SOMERSET HOUSE or something... anyway, this particular chap was actually all right, but he did what EVERY Guy Who Thought It Was An Open Mike Night does, and that is play at LEAST four songs, and make all of them REALLY LONG. Now, I've BEEN to Open Mike nights quite a bit, and I'm pretty sure you're only meant to do EITHER 10 minutes OR two songs, but this ALWAYS happens - maybe the Open Mike WORLD is TELLING The Guy Who Thought It Was An Open Mike Night the wrong date, so he won't turn up on THEIR night and play for 25 minutes?

Anyway, it was all GOOD because it turned out the bar was open until midnight, so running a bit late didn't really matter. My SETLIST had gone through the usual PERMUTATIONS - I'd intended to do ALL new stuff, and try "Girlfriend Alarmed" and - SHOCK - "We Only Ever Meet In Church", then SWAYED right over to usual UBER SET, and in the end settled on THIS:

The Peterborough All-Saints' Wide Game Team (Group B)

Good Luck In Your New Job

Red & White Sockets

Breaks In The Journey

The Lesson Of The Smiths

Easily Impressed

Boom Shake The Room

I must say, i REALLY REALLY enjoyed myself, and felt like it went REALLY WELL. I think "Good Luck In Your New Job" will be ROMPING back into the set, "Breaks In The Journey" seemed to go down OK after some EXPLANATION, and I even got a little CHEER in the "Peace And Love" BIT of "The Lesson Of The Smiths". Ooh, it was LOVELY, i THOROUGHLY enjoyed it. I am now EXTREMELY EAGER to go back and play MORE to these delightful people - it's like playing in SHEFFIELD for levels of loveliness, except THESE people will probably end up being in THE CABINET in 20 years time.

At 10pm it was time for me to GO, as I had a TRANE to catch... and it was at this point that Mr Mark Sutton DASHED in, slightly out of breath, having come from a WORK DO. It was LOVELY to see him as his is a SUPREMELY NICE CHAP, which he proved by then giving me a lift to the station. I popped into the Marks & Spencers Simply Food (Cambridge!) for a SARNIE, some FRUIT, and a DELICIOUS BEER (that key ring bottle opener i bought is a QOLED beyond COMPARE!) and was soon settled in for a gentle journey home again.

All in all, i must say i had a BLOODY GRATE night out - more Cambridge for me please!

Tonight/Secret Site
First of all, if anyone's coming to see me in CAMBRIDGE tonight at The Living Room, do come early won't you? I'm on first, which'll be 8.30pm PROMPT - which is EXTREMELY handy, as it means I'll be able to get the train home at a reasonable time. HOOPLA!

Meanwhile - take a quick look at our forthcoming COMPANION SITE, www.thevalidators.com. It's only in its earliest TEST PHASE as yet, but at some point in the future it will become the band's TEAM BLOG, so that EVERYONE can have their say on What We Get Up To. We nearly did something like this when we were in Cornwall, but never got round to it - hopefully it will become a THRILLING INSIGHT into a HARD ROCKING BAND.

At the moment, however, it is a bunch of blokes not quite understanding why it isn't working properly...

Hibbett 1 Pam Ayres 0
A few months ago I had a discussion with Mr C Flowers of The Fighting Cocks about whether it is possible for women to be camp. He seemed to think so, and today i am forced to AGREE with him, for LO! I have been to THE DENTIST!

This was quite a monumental decision for me as I had not been to the dentist for SEVENTEEN YEARS. Hey, Thatcher abolished free dentistry just before i went off to Poly, and as I never really had any problems I just didn' tbother. HOWEVER, a little while ago i had a PAINFUL bit of toothache, and as my teeth generally LOOK a bit grubby i thought it was probably about time i faced the music.

Thankfully The Correct Motion Of My Toothbrush came with me, and we set off EXTREMELY EARLY this morning to get there. When we arrived I had to fill in a form about my medical history, and then got my HEAD X-RAYED. Shortly after i met THE DENTIST, who was a LOVELY, rather CAMP, Spanish Woman. "Come in Darling! " she said. "17 years! Oh my! Aaah, you have brought your WIFE! All my male patients, their wifes tell them to come. Now my dear, let us see what 17 years have done!"

She was, as stated, QUITE CAMP, and it would have all been quite JOLLY and exciting if i wasn't expecting her to FALL AWAY from my GAPING MAW in HORROR the moment she leaned in, but it didn't quite turn out that way. "Hmm... you are proving dentists wrong!" she said. "We say you need to come in ever six months, but not you! 17 years, and not so bad!"

I was, i must admit, SOMEWHAT RELIEVED, but also QUITE SMUG, especially when she added "You have good diet, yes?" "Oh yes", i answered, Quite Smugly. Shortly afterwards the results of the X-RAY turned up, and she had a PROPER LOOK round my GOB. It turns out my gums are Slightly Grubby, so I'm going to get a BIG CLEAN round them and, i think, the rest of my MUSH, and also have ONE Posh Filling put in. The overall cost for check up, cleaning appointments, fillings and what-nots, works out to just slightly over 10 quid per year.

HA! Take THAT British Dentistry and your "come ever six months" craziness! And take THIS, Pam Ayres - i DID look after me teeth! I WIN!

I may not be quite so pleased as this next week when I've had THE WORK done tho...

Considering MORTALITY
I've just sent off a few packages, two of which were Back Catalogues which DELIGHTFUL people had bought from The MJ Hibbett & The Validators SHOP (30 quid for five CDs, can't be bad can it?). I'd had to RESTOCK the City Warehouse (NB second drawer down in my desk at work), and discovered something fairly AMAZING - there's only about 15 copies of "This Is Not A Library" and only EIGHT of "Milk & Baubles" left in stock! LAWKS!

The primary message here is, of course, if you want either of these, you're probably best getting them in SOON. It also means I'm going to have to change the Back Catalogue PACKAGE fairly soon (soon-ish anyway, i don't sell THAT many copies). Obviously "A Fridge Full Of Nice Things" will be coming into it in the New Year, and in an Emergency i can always include The Live Album (which i've now BOOKED IN to RECORD next week at Orange & Blue, by the way), but it's going to be a bit STRANGE to lose them after so long. What shall I do when they're gone?

If things go well with the new album i guess i MIGHT re-press "This Is Not A Library", maybe, but I'm coming round to the idea that "Milk & Baubles" will NOT be coming back in it's present form - it will instead be the first CHUNK of "Warriors Of Nanpantan II: Validators On Patrol" (working title)! I've got quite excited about this, not least because TODAY i sent off something else which will probably end up being on that same album, at some point in THE DISTANT FUTURE. This was the finished CD of "Zipcodes", my American CASSETTE which I've been on about for ages. I've been listening to it this week and though it really ISN'T of the same SONIC SUPERIORITY of the Cornwall Sessions, i actually think it's rather NICE. I'm still pleased with it, so off to POPGUN it goes. We'll see what RAOUL thinks later!

So yeah, it was a GOOD THOUGHT to think that I've ALREADY got some stuff ready for this DISTANT POSSIBILITY - chuck in "The Advent Calendar Of FACT" and we're halfway there already! And as I say, it was also quite STRANGE to think of SELLING OUT of CDs - i got used to it when all the VINYL went, because SO MANY of those were just given away and/or "lost" by our old distributors, but this'll be something else altogether. We've never "re-pressed" ANYTHING before, it's RATHER exciting!

Many Trains To Catford
Sunday started bright and early, as The Stock In My Buffet Car and The Landlady were heading off to FOLKESTONE and then along the coast to go and look at those some SIGHTS that had been on that COAST programme a few weeks ago. Their journey was to become a traditional SUNDAY NIGHTMARE of delays, incorrect timetables, and, of course rail "replacement" bus services. Aah, the British Transport Network - what a GRATE idea it is to constantly bugger up weekend services - if trains ran properly on a weekend, when casual users are exposed to them, why, then more people might USE public transport, rather than fleeing back to their cars with a SHUDDER and an iron resove Never To Use Trains Again.

ANYWAY, my use of THE SYSTEM went pretty well, and after an early lunch and brief RECORDING SESSION (on Saturday I'd had MUCH SUCCESS recording Backwards Guitars for "Breaks In The Journey" but on Sunday i had MUCH LESS SUCCESS trying to record UKELELE for "Dino At The Sands") i TOOBED it over to London Bridge, and got the TRANE out to Catford. Maybe it was the GLORIOUS weather, but i was amazed at how LEAFY and DELIGHTFUL it is when you head out that way. OK, it is significantly LESS so when you get off the train, but still, it was very pleasant. I was going down there for MALCFEST the annual festival run by Malcolm of Orange and Blue Studios in his HOUSE. I'd heard that it really WAS a festival in a HOUSE, but was still unprepared for the reality. I went through a gate in the back garden to find the patio FLANKED by covered seating areas for viewing the Outdoor Stage. Behind the seats was the CAMPSITE - his back garden with about 10 tents in it - and through the patio doors was the main stage, his living room with FULL PA in it! Even though you could only fit about 15 people in the room when the band was on, there was still a VIDEO PROJECTION SCREEN behind the band, with at least TWO cameras in use, perhaps more. Also the organisers were using WALKIE TALKIES.

It was pretty amazing! I watched the first band, who had a nice SOUND with violin, cello and ACCORDIAN, then faced my PHOBIA and watched THE MORRIS DANCING. As i may have mentioned previously, Morris Dancing tends to bring me out in either FEAR or UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE, but i managed to FIGHT it this time, and just find it A Bit Funny Looking. This was helped by the FACT that it wasn't an actual Morris TROUPE, and that i knew some of the people in it, but flipping heck, it isn't half DAFT looking. I guess our yeoman ancestors must have been VERY secure in their masculinity to celebrate it thus.

I then popped to the shops for a LOLLY, and when i got back it was pretty much my turn to go on. I was set up with a microphone on the PATIO, and did a lengthy soundcheck comprising "Back For Good" and "Too Good To Be True" with the eerie impression that an alternate universe ME was playing in the room next door - everything was being recorded for use on DVD, so my vocals and guitar were coming out of the PA in the living room. It was apparently very LOUD in there, but not so much outdoors as the DOORS were largely closed so as not to annoy the neighbours!

It felt a bit odd, but i soon got used to it, and did THIS:

The Peterborough All-Saints' Wide Game Team (Group B)

Red & White Sockets

Things'll Be Different (when I'm in charge)

Hey Hey 16K

The Lesson Of The Smiths

Work's All Right (when it's a proper job)

Dino At The Sands

The Perfect Love Song

Clubbing In The Week

Fucking Hippy

Easily Impressed

Boom Shake The Room

Billy Jones Is Dead

I Come From The Fens

It was, purposefully, the UBER SET to end all UBER SETS, as I'd harboured thoughts of using the recording of same for a LIVE ALBUM. It soon became clear as i went through that this WASN'T a good idea, not least because there was a HUGE pause in "Things'll Be Different" when I had to be reminded of the second verse, so i quickly gave up on that idea and had a REAL GOOD TIME instead. I REALLY enjoyed it - there seemed to be a small LULL half way through when i Took It Down A Little, but it was still fun THEN, and "Easily Impressed" and "Boom Shake The Room" were ACE. Ooh, it looks good on the DVD too, I must say, even though I seem to be wearing a papier mache version of my own head, so LARGE does it appear. Anyway, I then ENCORED with "Billy Jones" and cheekily did "I Come From The Fens" too in HONOUR of some fellow Peterbrugians who were in attendance.

The rest of the afternoon was spent very pleasantly chatting to the KOOBA KREW, who were in attendance, and especially in pursuing my usual hobby when Johnny Yeah is in THE HOUSE of swapping Interesting FACTS and Talking Bollocks with him. It was GRATE! I also spoke to MALCOLM about going and doing some recording with him soon - I'm still thinking of recording a SOLO album of the live set for selling at gigs (and getting them done in Cardboard Wallets, as that'd make it MUCH easier to carry them round in my rucksack), and I need to record a session for Another Nice Mess TOO,

After Mr Nathan Persad had done his GRATE set i thought it was probably time to get home, arriving back at Catford Bridge to find i'd just missed a train. South London is all well and good, but it isn't half a PAIN when this sort of thing happens, so i had an half hour WANDER ABOUT the area to pass the time (and avoid thinking of the need for a WEE) before i got back ABOARD. By this time it was becoming clear that I'd be returning to an empty house, as The Folkestone Expedition was going VERY WRONG (they were put on a bus to DOVER for heaven's sake, as there were no trains going to London for Folkestone, where they had to wait ANOTHER hour for a TWO HOUR train journey home!) so decided i might as well head for STOKE NEWINGTON, to have a look at The Light Programme, where I'm going to be playing in November. A train, a tube, a walk, a tube, another train and more walking and i was THERE. It looked DEAD GOOD, and I especially liked the way a couple of people said "Are you MJ Hibbett?" OOH it was like being very very slightly famous, as there were a few people there who'd been at the gig at The Victoria a few weeks ago. I managed to stay for half an hour or so before having to DASH OFF HOME as i realised that there would be CATS awaiting food.

A walk, a train, a train, a tube and a walk and i was HOME! The cats were FED, the DVD went IN the telly, and i had some TEA marvelling at the aforementioned Large Head and actually quite ENJOYING the set. Our beleagured travellers got home just after eleven o'clock, so i cheered them up by MAKING them watch it with me. I am sure it was LOVELY and much like watching it with the commentary on as i said, repeatedly, "Ooh, hang on, there's a good bit here... AHAHAA! Did you hear my HILARIOUS JOKE? Shall i rewind it?"

All in all then, a LENGTHY but JOLLY day, for me at least. Next stop - CAMBRIDGE!

Verrrtigoooo
I was back on that there train and off to LEICESTER last night, to go to The Horse & Trumpet in WIGSTON, so see my friend Chris's gig with his band JOE PUBLIC. He appeared to be a bit embarrassed about the fact that he is now in a COVERS BAND, but i must say it was BLOODY GRATE! There are generally TWO sorts of covers bands for gentlemen of a certain age, and they can be defined by their PURPOSE being EITHER a) to show off a lot about how well they can play their instruments OR b) to have a laugh and get drunk.

Joe Public are in the B) category thankfully - as Chris said, they have a POLICY that if they can't learn a song pretty much in three goes through then they don't do it, and that is a VERY GOOD POLICY. They thus did a set of LOUD and THRASY songs, mixing OLD HITS ("Virginia Plain" being the best one) with CHART STUFF (like Green Day and Franz Ferdinand) and it was ACE. It was certainly the most enjoyable gig of his i have seen in a LONG old time, and i thought to myself what a SHAME it is that COVERS BANDS get so seperated from ORIGINALS BANDS.

Loads of the bands i see by accident these days are perfectly good at PLAYING, but have RUBBISH songs of their own that they INSIST on playing. It'd be SO VERY MUCH BETTER if bands who DIDN'T have enough good songs played somebody ELSE's songs instead. Audiences would CERTAINLY have more fun, and bands could NICK bits they liked and LEARN a bit for future use in making BETTER songs of their own. Hey, it worked for The Beatles, right?

If that WAS the norm then bands like Chris's could MIX IT UP a bit - i know he has MANY fab songs from his past that'd be nice to hear again one day... anyway, i had a LOVELY night, as did the HEAVING PUBFUL of WIGSTONITES, and I went to bed gently warmed by lovely BEACON BITTER, which you don't get round London way. It was GRATE!

MERCHANDISE!
Excitement builds here, as I've just had a phone call from The Date Stamp On My Reciept to let me know that the new "Hey Hey 16K" t-shirts have arrived! OOH!

I'm not sure if I've mentioned these on here before, but if i have, I'm about to again - SO many people have asked about t-shirts, especially in relation to our appearance at the Retrovision Convention next week, that I thought I'd finally BUCKLE and get some new ones. These are NOT like the old Hey Hey 16K t-shirts that the lovely Mr Dave Green of Need To Know did a couple of years ago, these are all new in design, colour and... er... PHYSICAL ATOMS!

I haven't seen the finished articles yet, but if they are as good in REALITY as they are in MY BRANE then my WORD they shall be wondrous articles of clothing! If all goes to plan they'll be "launched" next Sunday in Manchester, and if there's any left after that they'll be in the SHOP shortly afterwards.

Meanwhile I'm listening to the album in a NEW ORDER today, perhaps foolishly based on the running order for "REVOLVER" as, obviously and without a shadow of ludicrousity, that's the benchmark we're aiming for... well, I always categorise our stuff by BEATLES albums ("This Is Not A Library" was supposed to be "The White Album" and "Say It With Words" was "Rubber Soul", so we're OWED a "Revolver") and so I tried to set the running order for THIS one to match "Revolver"'s.

It works pretty well - it's VERY exciting having "Tell Me Something You Do Like" RUNNING HEADLONG into "Girlfriend Alarmed" anyway, but there's MONTHS of this to go until we have to go to the pub and FITE about it, so please stand by for MANY MANY MANY MORE daft ideas of this sort. They're the best bit!