When will I stop being stupid?

I just misplaced my brain!

"I was finally putting myself to bed so I wiped off my makeup and took off my earrings. I was so sleep deprived, though, that I put the dirty makeup wipe in my jewellery box and threw away my earrings."

I got a spaghetti bed!

"My oldest wasn't even two when I had my second child. That first week was a blur. One night I got up to feed the baby and heard snoring as I walked past the kitchen. It turns out I'd forgotten to take the older one out of her high chair, and she'd fallen asleep, using her spaghetti as a pillow."

You stole from a baby?!

"One night, after weeks and weeks of no sleep, I genuinely believed the baby was crying because my husband had taken money from him. My husband guided me back to bed and we had great fun laughing about it the next day."

Where's my brain at?

"After a long night, I had to run to the drug store. I sat at a red light for what seemed like forever- I even swore at a car that honked at me until I realised it wasn't a red light. It was a stop sign!"

Accidental peep show.

"I was breastfeeding my oldest in my living room wearing only a bra and sweats. There was a knock at the door, so I got up to answer it with my breast still hanging out of my bra. The UPS guy was shocked and kept looking away. I didn't even realise what I'd done until hours later."

Nursing accidents!

Panic mode: ON!

"One night I realised my whole family was in the room with me, but no one was holding the baby. Panicked, I yelled, 'Where's the baby?!' My husband looked straight at me and said, 'Um, honey, you're nursing her.'"

So exhausted it hurts!

Too tired to go to the loo!

"I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and was surprised to find I felt warm and wet. It turns out I was so tired that I was peeing on the couch instead of in the toilet. I had literally pulled down my pants, sat down on the couch, and started peeing as if I were on the toilet. I just added that to the list of bodily fluids I had to clean up that night."