Okay, so today I decided to take a trip to my local mall, seeing as how it was Sunday and therefore would probably not be very crowded.

I walked into fye (yes, we still have one), and much to my surprise, I was right. There was practically no one inside except for me, the cashier, and perhaps two other people. I walk through the soundtrack section to see if there's anything worth looking at. Unsurprisingly, nothing, as it seems like their stock hasn't been updated in a month. So, I start looking at movies, and eventually find myself in the Anime section. The whole time, its completely silent except for the music from the speakers. I'm browsing the merchandise; nothing new, mostly collections of Naruto and DBZ, with other stuff like Code Geass, Vampire Knight, Full Metal Alchemist, and Death Note. I was looking at a copy of FFVII: Advent Children when the strangest thing happend. From right around the corner stepped perhaps the greatest redneck-esque man I'd ever seen. Blue baseball cap, slight gray stubble with large underbite, white confederate t-shirt with some stains on it, and ripped shorts. The only thing he was missing was a beer and a pair of boots. Some woman which I assumed to be his wife was with him, a short old woman with a white dress and short black hair. I'd say they both in their mid-sixties.

The man steps behind me and walks toward what appears to be the Naruto selection (I couldn't see past him). Then he looks at his wife, who starts shuffling around through the dvds (keep in mind that this is anime), and says "Just keep looking, I'm sure they got it!" Then his wife offers him some dvds and says "Is this them?"

"No," he replies, "I've got every one from 2000 up."

"Oh okay," she says.

The two of them continue looking through the selections, eventually browsing through almost every item looking desperately for whatever it was. The entire time, I stand here dumbfounded with a copy of Advent Children in my hand. I had flashbacks of Jurassic Park, thinking of when Sam Niell keeps saying "THEY CAN'T SEE US IF WE DON'T MOVE!" Sadly this was not the case. The woman turns to me and gives me a look like a lost dog then goes back to the anime. After, the man then turns to me and proceeds to give a rather chilling grin, showing some of his missing and yellowed teeth. I smile back for politeness and then turn on my heel and book ass out of there. At first I was disturbed, but after I left it was all I could do to keep from falling over and laughing right in front of everyone in the mall.

Looking back on it, I can think of only these things that he could have been:

6. 7. I would have thought that he could be looking for something for a younger relative, but then I realized it was father's day, and he said "I GOT EVERY ONE...."8. True anime enthusiast who has been collecting for some time (unlikely)

I can honestly say I have never felt more sorry for the characters on the covers of those dvds.

He meant the year that they were made. I know some anime movies (like Jin-Roh The Wolf Brigade) were made in the late 90's, while anime itself has roots dating back to WWII, when popular art styles at the time were used for Japanese military propaganda. These styles eventually became more popular with the Japanese public, and during the early 80's if I'm not mistaken began to first appear in American culture. By the early 90's, anime was growing and today is as popular as ever.

So, me and the wife go to the mall to see if they got the 90's episodes of [INSERT ANIME HERE]. I've been looking everywhere for them, but someone told me they had seen them here. If I can find them, my collection of [INSERT ANIME HERE] will be complete!

We walk into fye, there's almost no one else there. When we get to the anime section there's some teenager looking at a movie, but I don't take much notice of him. We start searching the shelves.

As we go on, we can't help but notice that the teenager is just standing there, frozen to the spot, with the movie still in his hand. Occasionally glancing at us. My wife gives him a look back, I smile nervously at him. He smiles in return, and then leaves.

Weird.

Remus: Harry... I'm a werewolf.
Harry: Are you fucking serious?
Remus: Well yes, but I don't see how that applies here.