A Life With A Littlehttp://www.alifewithalittle.com
A Place for Moms with a Little Crazy in their LivesMon, 14 Aug 2017 12:00:31 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.1https://i0.wp.com/www.alifewithalittle.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Favicon.png?fit=32%2C32A Life With A Littlehttp://www.alifewithalittle.com
3232A Letter to My Future Self As School Starts Backhttp://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/08/14/letter_to_future_self_for_school/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/08/14/letter_to_future_self_for_school/#respondMon, 14 Aug 2017 12:00:31 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=472Dear Future Self, It’s that time of year! School starts back soon, and this year – this year – Emmeric goes off to school. You really need to prepare yourself, heart and mind, for what that means, mama. And this letter is to tell you something very important about this busy time of the year.…

It’s that time of year! School starts back soon, and this year – this year – Emmeric goes off to school. You really need to prepare yourself, heart and mind, for what that means, mama. And this letter is to tell you something very important about this busy time of the year.

You can say no, mama.

Simply put but hard to put into action, I know. You need to know that it’s totally okay to say no this year. And just so you remember it well, consider this permission from your past self to say no.

It’s going to be a crazy time, mama. You’re going to need to collect all the school supplies and double check the school lists before he goes off to classes that first day. You want to get all those important dates for things like parent-teacher conferences scheduled into your calendar. The school will send you lists of extras they need, like those tissues that seem to be on every list! You shop all the sales to make sure he’s got dress code approved clothes to wear and plenty of them. Growing boys don’t slow down for school, you know.

You’ll buy him a special outfit to wear for school picture day and tell him to be very careful not to spill something on it.

You’ll visit him in class and check out what he’s learning to make sure you understand what the classroom atmosphere is like.

You’ll go to lunch and bring him his favorite meal to eat so you can see what the cafeteria food looks like.

And you’ll get to know the teachers, coaches, and other parents who are all a part of your son’s life.

Mama, this is the time when things will get very busy if you let them. Perhaps he’ll join a sport and have extra practices during the weeknights. He might bring home tests with poor grades and a request for you to sign papers. The teacher might call you about something that happened in class that day. Or you might get called to the office to pick him up for being sick or having gotten hurt in a fight.

The back to school rush is a busy time, mama. You can prepare yourself as much as you want, but you need to give yourself permission to say no. Otherwise, you’ll be on every committee, at every practice and game, in every classroom event, and at all the birthday parties.

Don’t get me wrong, mama. I’m not saying to deny all these things. But your health and your son’s health are important. You wouldn’t let him go to a friend’s house if he was sick, so why would you take him somewhere when you are? I know it’s hard to say no to his beautiful little face and those pleading eyes. I know you want to give him the world. But he needs to understand disappointment, to know that just because he doesn’t get what he wants doesn’t mean he can’t appreciate what he already has.

Give Yourself Permission To Say No

You can say no to all the excess. There will be things you won’t see the point of, things that will aggravate you, things that you question. You do not have to just sit back and let it all happen. That would make you a pushover, and you can’t parent as a pushover.

And let’s just be real right now, mama. You don’t have to say no to your son. That’s not what this is about. It’s about saying no to the excess events, people, and things that would keep you and your family from being productive, happy, and fulfilled. If that means saying no to other adults, do it!

Saying no is never easy. But you have permission now from your past self to simply sit back and say no when you need to so that you can really enjoy this time.

Back to school time is a whirlwind of crazy. You shop, organize, plan, clean, prep, and do so much for him. You should be able to enjoy all the little things that go along with it.

You should enjoy taking pictures on the first day of classes and hearing about his first day experiences.

You should enjoy watching him enter the building and listening to his adventures with new friends.

You should enjoy going to ball games and sports practices, seeing him learn these skills, and letting him explore his individuality.

Don’t let yourself get bogged down by all the rest, mama. Give yourself permission to take on only what you can handle. It’s for your benefit and for your family’s benefit, too. You know what they say: if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! And it’s really true.

Give yourself permission to take on only what you can handle this school year. Click To Tweet

So as I wind up this letter to you, my future self, I want you to think long and hard about what things you might need to say no to this year. And then commit to being the person who’s willing to say no when you need to. You can assert yourself, mama, and you’ll feel better for doing it!

Learning to say no isn’t going to be easy, but as he gets older and participates in more and more things, you’ll have to learn how to do it. Because sometimes “No” is the only answer. Give yourself some grace, mama, and make sure to give yourself permission to say no this school year.

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/08/14/letter_to_future_self_for_school/feed/0Parenting Lessons from the Child – Part 4http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/08/07/model_your_marriage_parenting/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/08/07/model_your_marriage_parenting/#commentsMon, 07 Aug 2017 12:00:29 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=420Hello my amazing friends, and welcome to the last post in my Parenting Lessons from the Child series! Thank you so much for sticking around for this series because I have loved sharing it with you. I hope you’ve found it thought provoking, but more than that, I hope it helped you remember some lessons…

Hello my amazing friends, and welcome to the last post in my Parenting Lessons from the Child series! Thank you so much for sticking around for this series because I have loved sharing it with you. I hope you’ve found it thought provoking, but more than that, I hope it helped you remember some lessons of your own you want to put into your parenting.

Today I’m sharing the last of my lessons that I want to put into practice with Emmeric and any other children I have. This lesson is one that I remember my parents sharing with me even from an early age. I want to model a healthy marriage before my children.

Perhaps this sounds similar to the lesson I shared in my second post of this series. If it does, that shouldn’t be too surprising because relationship priorities are always going to be important. However, this lesson goes a little more in depth, so stick with me.

Model The Marriage You Want For Your Kids

When I got pregnant and found out I was having a boy, I started having some odd thoughts about how I would teach my son about sex someday. I say this is odd because these thoughts really bothered me for a while when I was pregnant. Logically, I told myself it wasn’t something I needed to worry about for years. But I still wondered how I would introduce the topic of sex to my children now that I was bringing one into the world.

I honestly don’t remember much about being introduced to the topic of sex as a child, but I do remember how my parents treated one another in front of me. That stuck with me as I moved into adulthood.

One thing my parents did that really struck me as different was to be very open in front of me about their marriage. They did this by being very physically affectionate to one another. Now, don’t get me wrong here. Nothing my parents did was ever inappropriate for a child to see. But they didn’t hide their love for one another, and that helped to create a stable home life for me.

Show Your Affection and Attraction

My parents flirted with one another in front of me. I remember watching TV shows and movies where parents would flirt with one another only to have the watching children gross out and make comments. To me, that seemed strange because it was normal to have your parents flirt with one another.

I loved watching my parents interact. My dad would come up and give my mom a hug from behind. They kissed in front of me. We would go to the mall, and they held hands as they walked. Dad rubbed my mom’s shoulders or neck when she was tense. He tapped her on the butt as she passed him through the doorway.

Model a healthy marriage by showing affection for your spouse!Click To Tweet

All of these were simple but powerful ways my parents shared their love for one another in front of me. I never wondered if my parents loved each other because it was obvious in their physical interactions with one another.

Tell Your Spouse You Love Him

My parents shared their love for one another verbally. This came in multiple forms. They called each other by pet names. They acknowledged one another when they spoke, and they practiced actively listening.

I listened to my parents as they talked about their day, and they showed me how much they cared for each other simply by listening. It really stuck with me as a child because I heard them share with each other and watched them reinforce their love through their actions.

You know how important it is to hear how your spouse feels about you. It reinforces your own love and relationship. But it’s just as important for your children to hear you tell one another of your love. It provides that sense of stability that your relationship is strong and healthy, and children need that.

Another thing this verbalization does is gives your children that sense that there’s some order to relationships. When you verbalize your love and affection for one another, you also model a marriage founded on mutual love and respect, something you want for your own children, right? They see this, and they want to do the same in their future relationships.

Do Special Things Together and Tell Your Children Why

I think this was perhaps one of the biggest things that stood out to me about my parents’ relationship. Every year in January, my parents took me to my grandparents’ house to spend the weekend. I loved it because I got to stay with my grandparents, who were always fun. When I got older, I asked my mom about this tradition.

She told me a lot about this weekend tradition she and my dad shared. They went to a cabin in the mountains, not far from home at all, and they spent the weekend together. It was a way to recharge, unwind, and just spend time loving each other without having a child around.

My mom was always very open with me. She told me how much she loved my dad, what features of his were attractive to her, and what things she planned out for these special weekend getaways. I learned maybe a bit more than I really wanted to know (nothing inappropriate), and I realized my parents’ relationship was very much a physical one as much as an emotional one. And you know what? It reassured me to hear my mom tell me what these weekends meant. It reminded me that my parents had a strong marriage, and I felt confidence in my own relationship with my parents because I saw how close they were.

I plan to do the same thing when Emmeric gets older and we have the means to do this. I, too, want to spend time on weekend getaways with my husband. It’s important to me to do this for our marriage, yes, but I also want to do it so my children see us in a solid, lasting relationship.

So let me ask you, dear friend, do you do these things for your children, too? Do you try to model a strong relationship with your spouse in front of your children? Tell me what you think of this in the comments. I look forward to hearing from you, and I’ll be happy to respond to every comment!

In Conclusion

Thank you for sticking with me on this amazing series! I had so much fun putting it together. I’m looking forward to a new blog post next week, and we’ll be moving into some new territory together, so come back and see what I’ve got cooking!

Rachel

P.S. Did you remember that bundle I mentioned? Well, it’s coming out very soon! This Wednesday, August 9th, in fact! It’s got everything from crafting ideas to general parenting advice to homeschooling goodies to chore charts included this year and is a HUGE value! As an affiliate of the Ultimate Bundles team, I’m sharing some links that include my affiliate information for you to use if you would like. Please know that it doesn’t cost you any extra to use my links, but it does help me earn a little money for keeping my site up and active. For more information about affiliate links, see my disclosures. If you want to be told when the bundle is out, you can check it out here and get a reminder for it.

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/08/07/model_your_marriage_parenting/feed/5Parenting Lessons from the Child – Part 3http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/31/parenting_lessons_always_be_learning/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/31/parenting_lessons_always_be_learning/#respondMon, 31 Jul 2017 12:00:23 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=400Hello everyone! I’m so glad you’re here for the part three of my parenting lessons series. I’ve really enjoyed sharing the different parenting lessons I learned from my own childhood. Today I want to share one that I use even today in my own life: always be learning. Perhaps this lesson sounds like something you…

]]>Hello everyone! I’m so glad you’re here for the part three of my parenting lessons series. I’ve really enjoyed sharing the different parenting lessons I learned from my own childhood. Today I want to share one that I use even today in my own life: always be learning.

Perhaps this lesson sounds like something you know and understand already, and if so, that’s great. I remember distinctly learning this lesson in high school and applying it to my life multiple times since then.

Let me tell you the story of the first time I realized this lesson was important.

A Tale of Teenage Angst

In high school, I loved writing and joined my school newspaper where I became editor-in-chief my senior year. It made me so happy to be on the staff and get access to some pretty cool events. The school newspaper functioned as a class, so I signed on for a full year of the class, which was “taught” by Mrs. J.

Mrs. J. taught English classes and the newspaper class, which was more of a loosely taught club than an actual class. Most of the time we spent our third period class talking, chatting, outlining a few stories we wanted to put in the next month’s newspaper, and goofing off like high school students do. Mrs. J. would be in the room most of the time, but she often disappeared to go hang out with the other teachers, especially her fellow English teachers.

I admit I was a bit of a control freak back in high school. I still am, but I’ve learned that I’m never really in control since then. That said, I became the slave driver editor-in-chief who wanted people to take the newspaper seriously. I was proud of our little paper, and I wanted everyone else to take pride in it as well and actually try to write something worth reading.

The problem I had was Mrs. J. Whenever I edited someone’s story and gave it back with red marks slashed through half the page, I watched the person go straight to her and tell her how harsh I was being. It frustrated me because of how she reacted to the other students, almost all of them arguably cooler than I was. She would sometimes reprimand me for being too harsh and not make them correct obvious errors.

When I went home from class angry about this, I talked to my dad. He’s the one who told me that we can learn lessons in any situation, and oftentimes we learn how not to act. I realized I could take my frustration about Mrs. J. and her lack of leadership as a lesson of what I wouldn’t want to do in my future.

Always Be Learning

My dad taught me this in high school, but I learned to apply it to all kinds of situations as an adult. I tend to be rather observant, and I pay attention to people a lot. So I have learned a lot of behaviors, actions, personality types, and other things that I do not want to pass on in my own life.

I think there are a few keys to how I look at different situations as a result of my dad’s lesson. And these are things I want to pass on to my own children someday.

One | View Everything with the Eyes of a Student

We teach our children to go to school and be students who pay attention to what each class is designed to teach them. But it helps our children to understand they can always be learning as long as they always look at the world as a student. I try to go into different situations to answer the question: What can I learn here? It helps me to really pay attention and put situations to use in my own life.

Go into situations to answer the question: What can I learn here? Click To Tweet

Sometimes we feel like we’ve wasted our time in places we go or events we participate in. But I think we’d feel that way a lot less often if we went into those situations thinking we would learn something from them, even if it’s simply learning something negative.

Two | Always Ask Questions

Children learn so much just by asking questions, and I think this is a great trait to foster in a child. It’s important to not fear asking questions. We all get into situations where we’re over our heads, ignorant of some necessary knowledge, or simply lost. I think it helps foster our learning if we allow ourselves to ask questions so we can learn. Children need to be comfortable asking questions, too.

Asking questions and being curious help us to gain knowledge, period. I think sometimes in order to learn something we need to be able to let our curiosity free and ask as many questions as we want. Honestly being able to ask questions helped me in my various jobs over the years, but it goes deeper than just general education and job knowledge.

Teach your children to ask questions and NOT to be afraid to ask!Click To Tweet

We ask questions about everything in life, from the food we eat to the restaurant menu, from the health problems we deal with to the prescriptions we take, from the pets we get to the best ways to train them, from the idea of being a parent to actually taking the steps to bring a child into the world. We always ask questions, and we need to encourage our children to ask questions to and not fear the asking.

Three | Be Open to All Lessons

Sometimes learning can be a tough pill to swallow, wouldn’t you agree? We fail a test or get reprimanded at work for a mistake. It’s tough because we hate to be wrong, but at the same time, it’s an opportunity to learn something. We learn how to be better, different, do something with greater efficiency.

Lessons come in all shapes and sizes. We learn as much from our negative school and work experiences as from life experiences. Sometimes life teaches us hard lessons, like how to grieve a loss or how to stay calm in a dangerous situation. These lessons are just as important as the education we receive and help us to grow emotionally.

We learn as much from negative life experiences as we do positive ones! Sometimes even more... Click To Tweet

I think it’s vitally important to teach our children to be open to these lessons. Learning grows us up in so many ways, and we won’t always be able to shield our children from these lessons. So if we instead embrace them, we can help our children embrace them as well.

I’ll take a minute to share why this is important to me.

A Story of a Child’s Grief

When I was young, around 10 or 11 years old, my great-granny died of congestive heart failure. I was very close to her and called her my Granny Grump (a kind of amusing family story). I spent many summers visiting my grandparents in Indiana, and they lived next door to Granny Grump. I knew she was dying and had said my goodbyes to her the last time we visited but didn’t really understand. No one that close to me had died in my life up to that point.

As a child, I obviously didn’t understand how to grieve, but I knew I was sad. We went to Indiana for the funeral, and I remember being nervous about going to the funeral home and seeing her body. My dad went up to the casket with me, and we looked at her. I don’t know that it was my first time seeing a dead body, but it still shocked me to see my usually vibrant Granny Grump so still and silent.

My dad was so sensitive to my fears and sadness, and he pointed out that she had a very determined expression on her face. We shared a moment of remembering how stubborn she was, and he commented she looked as if she was determined to get to heaven. I took a lot of comfort from that conversation, and it helped me with my grief.

As a parent, I can’t shield my children from all the bad in the world. I’d love to. I want Emmeric to always be safe, happy, and healthy, but even in his short time on earth, I know we’ll see hardships. So if I can’t shield him from pain and suffering, I want to encourage him to be open to life’s lessons. The learning comes so much easier when we’re open to it, don’t you think?

Next week I’m sharing my last lesson from this series, and I can’t wait to share it with you! This series really reminded me of some great things I can incorporate in my parenting. I sincerely hope you got some great tips out of it. And if you’re looking for even more parenting goodness, I have a great bundled package coming soon through Ultimate Bundles! I’ll be sharing a little more about it in my next post, so stay tuned!

Rachel

P.S. Haven’t read my other posts in this series? Start here and then head to this post!

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/31/parenting_lessons_always_be_learning/feed/0When The Overwhelm Gets Real – 5 Strategies for Keeping It Togetherhttp://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/24/when_the_overwhelm_gets_real/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/24/when_the_overwhelm_gets_real/#commentsMon, 24 Jul 2017 12:00:23 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=371Hello sweet friends. The overwhelm is so real this week, and I just needed a moment to tell you why that is and give you a few of my strategies for keeping it together. Can I just get an Amen over here about that overwhelm, though? Mom-ing is hard work, and when the overwhelm gets…

]]>Hello sweet friends. The overwhelm is so real this week, and I just needed a moment to tell you why that is and give you a few of my strategies for keeping it together. Can I just get an Amen over here about that overwhelm, though? Mom-ing is hard work, and when the overwhelm gets real, you need some strategies in your back pocket to whip out for the occasion.

As I write this, my exploring, adorable baby boy is doing his utmost to get to my laptop. I mean, like pulling up on the couch, the coffee table, my legs, whatever he can reach to grab mama’s laptop. And every time I pull it away, he cries a little more about having a “toy” taken away from him.

Do you ever feel like the overwhelm is starting to, well, overwhelm you? Between caring for your child, making sure your house is maintained, and doing whatever else is on your plate, it’s so easy to get there. I believe God never gives us more than we can handle, but—and this is big!—whatever we can handle is what we can handle with His help. So while I believe He only gives us so much, I also believe we’re supposed to shout out to the Holy Spirit to get us through the difficult parts that we can’t seem to see through.

When The Overwhelm Gets Real

I want to share with you how real the overwhelm got for me this week. We went to two separate doctor appointments recently and had tests done for both me and Emmeric. That resulted in loads of frustration as I waited for seemingly normal results to come back despite our very obvious physical problems.

On Tuesday, we took our sweet dog to the vet because he, too, experienced some digestive problems. We came home with a number of different medications, special dog food, and even doggy probiotics, which I didn’t know was a thing.

I went off my medication and realized that I needed to get back on it this week, too. I take antidepressants for my postpartum depression, and when I go off of them, I sink faster than I can swim.

Then there was the various household tasks that needed doing. Do you feel like you never get done with anything because it’s always being interrupted? I do, too. I worked on cleaning some of the house, but there’s always more to be done, isn’t there?

So between all of that, my overwhelm level got full. And right now, even as I write this, it’s still on the full scale. If you’re there with me, hang with me as I share a few strategies for dealing with the overwhelm in your life.

Strategies for Keeping It Together

One | Write out your to-do list.

So this seems rather self-explanatory, doesn’t it? My problem is that I tend to have a number of items on my list that aren’t important and are just contributing to the overwhelmed feeling. Let me give you an example.

I might need to tidy the living room, keep the baby fed and changed, put dishes in to wash, do laundry, clean the bathroom, tidy the bookshelves, and clean the bedroom. Those are all valuable tasks for me to try to accomplish. Then there are the extra tasks, like listening to a podcast to help develop my blog more, writing the next month’s blog posts, going through a course on blogging, answer emails, grab time-sensitive offers and complete them, meal plan for the next week, make a grocery list, and a half dozen other things that weigh on my mind.

When you write out a to-do list, make sure to include everything. Every little thing that’s important to you, every task your husband mentioned needs doing, every thing you notice that you want to work on. Why are we doing this?

First, writing it all down gets it out of your head and onto paper. That’s a much better place for it to be than floating around with all your other thoughts. Second, if you write it all down, you can prioritize it in a way that a) makes sense to you, and b) allows you to relax a bit.

Two | Cross off any non-essential or unimportant (but pesky) to-do list items.

I don’t mean that you go and do these tasks first, either. I want you to go through that to-do list and look at it all. Is there anything there that isn’t absolutely essential today? Do you have something on the list that is more annoying than useful to you? Strike a line through those things.

One big thing we as moms have to learn is how to give ourselves permission to not do things. I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency of keeping a running mental to-do list of everything I need to accomplish. Some things, like laundry and dishes, never leave that list because they’re essential tasks. Other things, like certain items I want to complete for the blog, stay on the list for days, weeks, and sometimes months because I can’t bear to tell myself no but don’t want to remove them from the list either.

One big thing we as moms have to learn is how to give ourselves permission to not do things. Click To Tweet

This is where you get to decide what you do with the time you have, and it’s precious time, my friend. So what on your list is causing you frustration simply by writing it down? Is it something you can cross off and decide not to worry about? Then give yourself permission to do that.

Three | Organize your to-do list in your own way.

I kind of hate to-do lists. They never end. I see the same things over and over. And it feels unproductive to me if I can’t cross everything off my list in a certain period of time. That’s why I think this step is important.

You wrote out that big list, you crossed off the non-essentials, and now you need to decide what order to tackle this big boy in. You give yourself the power to tackle it in whatever order works best for you. By that, I mean that if there’s something on that list you want to simply be done with, something that will make you feel so relieved when it’s done, go with that first. If there’s something you’re dreading doing for whatever reason, and you’re like me, you just want to push it off and off and off – schedule it for sometime between two tasks that aren’t going to bother you. That way you can do one thing and psyche yourself up for the uncomfortable task, knowing you have something easier to “reward” yourself with afterward.

There are a million and one ways to prioritize tasks, and sometimes it’s all about practicality (we need towels tomorrow, so I’ll wash them early today so I can get them dry in time). Sometimes it’s about what works best for our mental health (I don’t know if we have enough money to pay that bill, it’s stressing me out, and I just need to go ahead and check the account now and get it over with). Sometimes it’s about finding a system that works for us (I’ll give myself a ten minute timer and see how much I can do in this room first, and then the next room and the next room).

There are a million ways to prioritize to-do lists. Sometimes it's about your mental health.Click To Tweet

It doesn’t matter how you prioritize your to-do list, so don’t sweat it. Just do it. There’s power in getting things done, my friend.

Four | Take some time for you.

Overwhelm happens when we aren’t managing our time the best, but it also happens when we aren’t taking care of ourselves. Self care is so important. It really makes the difference between a happy, fulfilled mama and a stressed out, exhausted mama.

You are the only person who can decide what self care looks like for you. You know yourself best, but do you know what things speak self care into your life? I ask because this week has been a big question of what I can do to get myself out of this overwhelmed funk.

You are the only person who can decide how self care looks for you. Click To Tweet

Sometimes the overwhelm leaves us frazzled, frustrated, and unable to determine what will help us out. That’s exactly how I felt earlier today. I’m finishing this post well after my super active baby boy has gone down for his bedtime, and I’ve had some time to determine what things will speak self care into my life right now.

I want to challenge you to write down three things that make you feel cared for, three easy things that you enjoy and like to incorporate into your life on a regular basis. Write these things down and then hang your list up somewhere so you can see it. When life gets overwhelming, pull out your list and give yourself time to indulge in one of those things.

Five | Remember your why.

Overwhelm is fifty different voices telling you things you need to do, be, or become. It’s those clamoring voices in our heads that never seem to stop. Sometimes the best thing we can do is sit down and remember our why.

Why do we do what we do? Is your overwhelm happening at work, busy mama? Then remember why you go to that job. Tell yourself your reasons for being there and give yourself permission to ignore the overwhelm so you can ground yourself again.

Are you overwhelmed with your kids running around you, the house never being clean, dear stay at home mama? Then take a moment (even if it’s just locking yourself in the bathroom!) and remember why you do what you do. Give yourself permission to take a mental break and think about what put you into this position and why.

And if you’re like me, and circumstances have put you into this place you never dreamed of being, then let yourself dream about your why. Sure, it might not be ideal, and things may feel like they tend to come crashing in on you sometimes. But there’s a reason you’re here in this place. If you can find it, you can hang onto it and let it ground you in the midst of the overwhelm.

In short, give yourself some grace, my friend.

Overwhelm is one of those things that we all deal with. But we need to give ourselves grace and remember that we’re allowed to be just us for a little while.

I hope these strategies will help you when the overwhelm gets real for you. Do you have any other strategies you use to keep it together? Please share them with me in the comments! Help a mama out with some hacks you use to make it through the day. I look forward to being back on your screen soon, sweet friend!

Rachel

P.S. Guess what? I found out about this awesome parenting bundle coming out soon! I’ll be dropping a few more hints about what’s in store in this bundle as the next few blog posts come out, so be looking forward to it. But I can guarantee it’s a fantastic value with a LOT of great stuff inside!

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/24/when_the_overwhelm_gets_real/feed/12Parenting Lessons from the Child – Part 2http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/10/parenting_lessons_part_2/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/10/parenting_lessons_part_2/#respondMon, 10 Jul 2017 12:00:38 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=356Hello, hello! Today we’re talking lessons in parenting from the child, and the topic of the day is relationships. That’s right – it’s vital that you model your relationships for your children. One of the best things about relationship building with a child is that you can model what values you think are most important…

]]>Hello, hello! Today we’re talking lessons in parenting from the child, and the topic of the day is relationships. That’s right – it’s vital that you model your relationships for your children. One of the best things about relationship building with a child is that you can model what values you think are most important for your little one, right?

So I want to share a little about my parents and their relationship with you. But let me first start with a bit of an introduction of my parents.

Meet My Mom

My mom is Rosemary, and she is one of the best people I know. As an adult, I proudly call her my best friend. As a child, she was my mama, and I knew even when I was little just how special she was.

My mom worked as a labor and delivery nurse most of my childhood and early adolescence. I remember going to work with her on occasion when it was going to be a stormy night and even spending the night in the hospital a few times during bad winter weather. Mom left the nurse on desk duty take care of me during the times she was in labor, and I spent a good amount of time rolling around on desk chairs down empty hospital halls. It sounds silly, but I loved racing around the floors. Back then, of course, it was a little different than the regulations of today’s hospitals.

Mom talked to me frankly and honestly about things like sex (hello – labor and delivery nurse!), marriage and relationships, friendships, faith, and everything in between. We experienced our rough patches, like my early adolescence when I pushed every button every time and tried her patience like crazy. But we became friends, and I always respect her opinion and ask her advice.

Meet My Dad

My dad is Stephen. He’s your typical engineer, and those of you married to or family of engineers will know what I mean when I say that. Dad is quiet and thoughtful, full of wisdom and excellent advice. His experience includes being an electrical engineer and a manager in a utilities company.

When I was a little girl, the men at church called my dad an instigator. My parents explained what they meant by this, and I found it ridiculously wonderful. I mean, I seriously admired my dad for his people skills and leadership abilities. He really helped shape my ideals about relationships and what I wanted in a career, despite the fact I’m not currently pursuing any of the careers I dreamed of as a child.

Dad taught me to drive (though it was my mom who experienced sheer terror at my practicing) and gave me advice through high school that has stuck with me. He shared his open and honest opinions with me and modeled his faith through daily Bible study. I love him deeply and still go to him with requests for daddy-daughter dates even though I’m 30 now!

The Lesson: Modeling Your Relationships

My parents modeled relationship priorities for me as a child and teenager in ways that were very visible. I learned firsthand what the priority was for both my parents, and it struck me then and now as the Biblical, healthy priority to keep.

Want to know the secret priority?

Here’s the secret relationship priority I want to model for my children:

God first.

Spouse second.

Children third.

Simple, right? It sounds simple, and I know a good deal of people who model similar priorities. But I learned it first by watching my parents and how they interacted. I want to share the ways they modeled these priorities and why I think that modeling them in front of me as a child helped shape my own priorities. I’m not great at doing these things all the time, but they are important to me.

Modeling a Relationship with God

Faith is a huge part of life. What you believe in matters, and children should see where your faith is. I think one of the big things my parents did that helped show me their faith in God and relationship with Jesus was making sure to take me to church every Sunday.

My mom tells me I went to church two weeks after I was born and just kept going from then on. I attended church on Sunday mornings and evenings and on Wednesday nights. We were that family, you know, the one there when the church doors are open? I even attended private Christian school during my middle school years.

But going to church doesn’t mean you have a relationship. I saw my parents live out their relationship with Jesus in different ways. I remember seeing my dad get up early in the mornings to read his Bible. I walked downstairs to see him sitting in a chair with his Bible on his lap as he did his morning devotions. My mom did hers when she had time since she often had an early shift at the hospital. But I found her Bible lying around open many times where she’d left it from the day before.

I know my parents wanted me to have that same close relationship with God, and they answered all my questions about faith and God as best they could. Because they were so open with their own relationships with God, I felt encouraged to explore my own faith and how it could look in my life. I want to do the same thing for my son and any future children I have. I want them to see me actively reading Scripture and praying. I want them to understand that a relationship with God should be the first priority they give time and energy to.

Right now I don’t do a great job at that. But I hope to continue to grow my own faith and be more active in our church. One day my children will be able to look back and see how my faith truly was prioritized.

Your children should know a relationship with God needs to be their first priority.Click To Tweet

Modeling a Marriage Relationship

Marriage is a huge relationship commitment. I oftentimes see people bring up having a child as a huge relationship commitment, which it is. But to me, marriage really brings up bigger challenges because, in theory, it lasts a lifetime. I believe in marriage for life, and I also believe divorce goes against my faith. Therefore when I agreed to marry Daniel, I did it with the understanding this was the only marriage I would ever have.

I learned that marriage wasn’t just a romantic relationship but a sacred covenant. And I learned that by watching my parents. When I was little, my parents left me with my grandparents over the weekend so they could get away to a mountain cabin. They planned this trip out every year, and they used it as a mini getaway and romantic trip. It revolved around Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, and I loved getting to spend my weekend with my grandparents. It wasn’t till I was older that I learned why my parents wanted to get away for a special weekend of their own.

Another way they modeled their relationship priorities came when I was an older teen. I struggled with the rebellious teen years like others did, but I mostly tried to avoid doing any chores or work around the house. My mom got sick one year with dad trying to take care of her. I can’t remember exactly what happened, but I refused to do dishes or some other kitchen chore, and he put me in my place very quickly. He essentially told me that when mom was sick he would be spending his time taking care of her and that I could get behind that or else we would tangle.

Now my father never spoke harshly to me, but this moment was when I realized that he prioritized my mom, her health, and his relationship with her over his relationship with me. And I think that’s actually a very healthy prioritization. He made it clear that his marriage came first, and even as his daughter whom he loved very much, I would not usurp that priority.

I want my children to understand that my marriage to their father is an important priority. I hope to model that relationship for them so they understand just how sacred a marriage relationship is and they seek the same kind of priority in their own spouses someday.

Do your children understand that your marriage is an important priority in your life?Click To Tweet

Modeling a Parenting Relationship

I mentioned earlier that my dad made it clear I would not usurp the position my mom held. I remember going back to my room that night and really pondering the feelings I had as I pieced that apart. When I realized how much he cared about my mom, I wasn’t angry, but I was actually really happy because it showed that he cared a lot about me, too.

One big thing having a solid marriage does for a child is to set up a firm foundation. If a child sees his parents loving each other openly, I think it sets the stage for him to feel more open with his own emotions. This creates security for a child because he sees the relationship his parents have and sees how they respond to him in love and knows that the family is a strong unit.

A solid marriage sets up a firm foundation for children and gives them security.Click To Tweet

I always knew I was loved. Period. My parents made me certain that I was loved and cared for, even when we didn’t have much to give or share. I grew up in a home where I was loved but wasn’t coddled or overly spoiled. I never felt that I was the center of the world because my parents made sure I knew where their priorities lay first and foremost. And that made all the difference for me.

So What’s Next?

This lesson really helped me when I talked to Daniel about getting married. We dated for a few months after knowing each other for years, and one of our big conversations was about commitment. We agreed that our relationships with God were the most important thing and that we wanted to make sure to work on our marriage and maintain it because of how important it was to each of us.

And then we got pregnant. We suddenly needed to discuss this new family member and our relationship with him. We agreed that our marriage needed to stay our priority and that we would work hard to keep the priorities set in our lives: God, spouse, child(ren).

So as we go forward, we try to make it a habit to get to church (or watch it online when we can’t get there), keep in the Word, take care of each other with dates and little special moments, and make sure our baby boy has everything he needs and all the affection and love we can give him.

This lesson my parents taught me is perhaps the most important one I learned growing up. I’m so glad they made these priorities in their lives, and I hope my children will be able to say the same about me and Daniel someday. What about you? What are your priorities for your relationship? Share with me in the comments! And be looking forward to the next big post coming your way, yet another in my parenting lessons series! If you liked this post, please share it with your friends.

Rachel

P.S. This was lesson number 2! Have you read the first one in this series? If not, go check it out! You can find it here!

P.P.S. Did you miss the Ultimate Photography Bundles post I made? There’s a flash sale going on, and you can find some great products here if you hurry!

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/10/parenting_lessons_part_2/feed/0Summer Ultimate Photography Bundle Flash Sale!http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/09/summer_ultimate_photography_bundle/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/09/summer_ultimate_photography_bundle/#respondSun, 09 Jul 2017 13:00:19 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=347This blog post contains affiliate marketing links. That means that if you click on a link and make a purchase, I will get a small commission. Please see my full disclosure here. Hello, hello, my friends! I want to share a little about a new flash sale going on Monday and Tuesday only! It’s a…

]]>This blog post contains affiliate marketing links. That means that if you click on a link and make a purchase, I will get a small commission. Please see my full disclosure here.

Hello, hello, my friends! I want to share a little about a new flash sale going on Monday and Tuesday only! It’s a photography bundle from my friends over at Ultimate Bundles, and they are amazing at putting together fantastic bundled products for a low rate. This particular photography bundle looks fantastic for the aspiring photographer or amateur wishing to hone her skills.

So here’s the deal: I’m not much of a photographer. Honest. You can look at my photos and tell I’m using my iPhone with whatever natural lighting I get in my apartment. I don’t really edit the photos because, let’s be real here, I have no clue how to do it. This photography bundle includes resources even for total amateurs like me, which I think is pretty amazing.

Since this is pretty much the first time I’m sharing about bundles, let me break down what they are and how they work. This is a flash sale, first of all, so it’s very time specific. It opens Monday, July 10th at midnight and closes Tuesday, July 11th at 11:59 pm EST. So if you are interested, grab it while you can!

Here’s a sneak peek at what’s inside this Ultimate Bundles package! (This is great if you’re like me and have no clue how to do composition!)

Here are the big, important details about the Ulltimate Photography Bundle:

Now, what’s in this bundle?

This is what you really want to know about, right? I’ll give you the totals of every item and then break down each one for you.

First, you get 41 total resources from 32 amazing photography experts! That is a LOT of value packed into one bundle.

What You Get:

10 eCourses

4 Video Trainings

16 eBooks

11 Interactive Tools

10 Bonuses (both virtual and physical!)

Total Value: $4,000+

Whoa, That’s a Big Number!

Yes, yes, it is. And there’s a reason for it. These products have been gathered from some amazing photographers who you can read about on this page. The bundle includes tools to help you regardless of your level, and it covers topics you need as a photographer.

Here’s a sampling of what you’ll get in this bundle.

Some of the topics include:

Niche Photography

Lighting

Wedding Photography

Inspiration & Style

Editing

Family Photography

The Business of Photography

Camera Essentials

…and more!

Because I’m an affiliate with Ultimate Bundles, I’ve had a chance to look over some of the products included in this photography bundle. This is a lot of product in one package, and some of the best parts of it are the various classes that normally cost between $175-200 each.

But why the sales pitch?

Now I know you’re reading this thinking, “Gee, Rachel, I never knew you were going to go all salesy on me.” I’m not, not really. I’m actually writing this for the people out there who want to get into photography, the people who want to start their own business and don’t have the resources to get training.

Why? Because I started this blog in the hopes of growing my own business organically. I began researching blogging as a business and social media marketing and all the different topics that might eventually help me earn money from this blog. You would not believe all the resources out there for bloggers. A simple Pinterest search reveals hundreds of classes you can take to help you become a money-making machine.

The problem I have is that most of these courses aren’t nearly affordable enough for me. I began poking around online and found some fabulous sounding blogging and social media marketing courses that I’d love to take. The only drawback is that I don’t have several hundred to several thousand dollars on hand to just throw out at these courses.

This Ultimate Photography Bundle is a dream for people wishing to become photographers. I looked at the individual pricing of these items, and I believe it really is a steal of a deal. For what you pay, you get a package jam-packed with valuable resources and tools, and you can potentially make your money back just by going through a few courses and books and learning how to market your own business.

I share this with you because I think it’s important to try to help each other out when we can. Yes, if you make a purchase of this bundle from one of my links, I get a commission and it helps me financially. So it’s not completely philanthropical. But you know what? I think we can help each other out without feeling jealousy over one another’s successes.

Here are some of the courses you get on family photography.

So who is this bundle for?

This bundle is for you if you…

Like photography and want to learn some skills.

Have a fancy DSLR camera you have no clue how to use.

Want to take your photography to the next level but don’t know how.

Wish you could start your own photography business.

Need help figuring out the editing or business side of photography.

This bundle is not for you if you…

Don’t own a fancy camera and don’t particularly care how good your smart phone camera is.

Want to be an amateur photographer without spending money on training.

Hate taking pictures.

Have a fulfilling job and would rather pay someone else to take family photos.

Want to start a business but not a photography business.

Interested in starting your own photography business? This bundle has you covered.

In short, the Ultimate Photography Bundle has a lot of value for a small price. You can get more information from any of my links in this post (yes, shameless plug), but if you aren’t interested in it, feel free to write off this blog post as a one-off.

My next post will be right back to my parenting series, and I know it’ll be a bit more personal and full of insight for you. So don’t worry about another salesy post because this is it! See? Was that really so bad? And if you know some aspiring photographers, feel free to share this post with them so they can get a great deal on photography resources!

Rachel

P.S. Want to join Ultimate Bundles as an affiliate? You can do that, too! They have some amazing bundles that are always on sale as well as more exciting ones coming up in the next months. Feel free to join them today with this (yes, affiliate!) link!

P.P.S. Yes, I had way too much fun with the images today! And that’s cause they’re all provided by Ultimate Bundles!

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/09/summer_ultimate_photography_bundle/feed/0Parenting Lessons from the Child – Part 1http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/03/parenting_lessons_1/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/03/parenting_lessons_1/#commentsMon, 03 Jul 2017 12:00:56 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=341Hello my lovely friends! I hope if you’re in the United States, you’re enjoying a long weekend of celebrating our country’s independence like me! My family has enjoyed a good weekend together with grandparents and friends, and we look forward to more fun on the Fourth! Today I’m sharing with you a series I’ve been…

]]>Hello my lovely friends! I hope if you’re in the United States, you’re enjoying a long weekend of celebrating our country’s independence like me! My family has enjoyed a good weekend together with grandparents and friends, and we look forward to more fun on the Fourth! Today I’m sharing with you a series I’ve been sitting on for a few weeks called Lessons in Parenting from the Child! You’re going to love it!

Before I jump right in with today’s lesson, I want to share what I mean by the title. Today and for the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing a number of parenting lessons I learned as a child. I learned these lessons from how my parents taught me, and I wanted to implement them into my own life.

Every Monday I plan to share a different parenting lesson I learned from my childhood. I hope these posts will inspire you with some great reminders from your own childhood, maybe things you forgot that you might want to implement in your own parenting. These are some of my favorite lessons learned as a child, and I share this to honor my amazing parents, who helped make me into the woman I am today.

Today’s lesson comes from years and years of taking notes, so with no further ado, let me introduce our lesson.

The Benefits of Teaching Your Child To Take Sermon Notes

Yes, that’s right, we’re starting off with a spiritual lesson, but it has practical applications. Hang with me today because I think you’ll appreciate the lesson I’m sharing!

When I was a little girl, I went to church every time the doors were open. We attended Sunday morning and evening services and went back on Wednesday nights for dinner and classes. My parents went to things like EE classes (EE = Evangelism Explosion), and I went to the classic GA class (GA = Girls in Action). For a long time, I went to a Christian private school my church opened as well, so you could say I grew up going to church!

As a child, I felt bored by sermons, like most kids do. It’s hard to sit still for sermons when you’re expected to be quiet the whole time. I took books with me and would read instead of paying attention to the sermon.

My mother gave me an ultimatum at one point or another. I was old enough to pay attention to the message, and I wasn’t allowed to bring a book with me anymore. I can’t remember how old I was, only that I needed to figure out how to pay attention and fast! Mom made sure I knew that I couldn’t sit there and daydream either, so I needed a good way to pay attention to the message.

My solution was to start taking notes. I got a cute notebook and took that with me to church (along with my Bible, of course) and began taking notes on the sermon. At that time, we went to a medium sized church that was growing rapidly. We worshipped in a small sanctuary where we used hymnals for the worship music and had church bulletins handed out with the week’s activities printed in them.

I began taking notes on Sunday mornings by listing the title of the message, the pastor’s name, the date, and the listed Scripture. Before long I had a method to my note-taking that took precedence in my writing, and I would write several pages of paragraph-style notes on every sermon.

I realize many people now take notes, and everyone has their own style of note-taking. For me, mine developed quite organically as I hung on the pastor’s words and tried to get down everything he said. In fact, he would go on to the next point and I would continue listening as I finished up something from the previous point before charging ahead with the next one. It became my method of retaining the sermon, and I can still go back to other sermons and remember them simply because of how I took notes on them.

Why do I share this? Because there are some great values in learning this lesson as a young child. I can’t remember exactly how old I was when I started this, but I have a collection of notebooks dating all the way back to 1997 (possibly earlier) that tell me I was fairly young.

What Are The Benefits of Taking Sermon Notes as a Child?

Retaining the Message

A big part of my sermon note-taking included finding ways to pay attention and retain what the pastor said. My parents sometimes asked me what I thought of the message, and sometimes I offered my opinion. Regardless, having those notes helped me to go back if I had questions. Many times, too, I wrote down questions or things I wanted to look up later, and it helped having the written record to go back to later.

Any Christian (or even religious) parent wants his or her child to learn about their faith and retain that knowledge as the child grows. I know that writing notes as a child helped me to remember some of those messages that really impacted my life.

Building Good Writing Habits

I learned a lot of my writing habits through note-taking. I became a lover of words as I listened to pastors weave together pictures of Scripture and what it meant. I developed writing habits that followed me into young adulthood and have been helpful in so many areas of my life.

The best part this is note-taking was never a requirement. My mother wanted me to pay attention, but she didn’t tell me how. I chose the method of note-taking and made it work for me, which was a great lesson for me as a child. I have piles of notebooks of sermons that I can look back on because I chose to write them down. I learned to listen closely, pull out the things I thought were most important, and write it all down – a method I still use today.

Giving Children Autonomy

I think one of the best things about the whole experience of note-taking is that it came about openly. I never had to take notes. My parents never required that. I took it up on my own and began doing it because I wanted to. I had autonomy to decide what I would do to pay attention to the message.

Children need a little autonomy in their lives to help them develop, I think. Some of my friends would draw pictures to help them pay attention in church. I know several people who even crochet or knit to keep their hands busy so they can listen properly. For me, note-taking became the best way to keep my mind occupied with the sermon, and it’s been so wonderful to have developed that experience.

Prepare Children for Future Studies

Perhaps one of the most interesting benefits of sermon note-taking for me was that it prepared me for future studies. By that, I mean I became very adept at general note-taking. In middle and high school, I stayed at the top of my class simply because I could take good notes and use them for studying.

When I got to college, I used my note-taking skills to help me out in some of the tougher and more boring classes I took. The skill served me well and continues to serve me well as I take online courses to learn more about blogging. Simply put, this skill I began as a child really has followed me into adulthood and made learning things so much easier. Studies show that writing what we hear helps us retain information better, and I can easily vouch for that after using my skills over the years.

The Beauty of Sermon Notes

Sermon notes can be anything you want them to be. Children view the world in such a unique way that encouraging them to take notes might even be challenging to you as a parent. They see things in simple terms, and if you share the note-taking with them, you might gain opportunities to talk to them in more depth about your faith and theirs.

I know I asked my parents lots of questions over the years from taking notes. It brought us closer together as we shared our faith, and I know it helped my own faith grow.

There you have it! My first parenting lesson as seen from the child. What do you think? Would you encourage your children to do something like note-taking to help them retain the sermon at church? In today’s church, we have Children’s Church that helps occupy them for so many years that they don’t necessarily get the experience of attending sermons as early as I did. It’s not a bad thing at all, just a difference. Anyway, share your thoughts on this in the comments, and be looking forward to another lesson coming your way soon!

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/07/03/parenting_lessons_1/feed/7The Greatest List of Summer Must Readshttp://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/06/29/the-greatest-list-of-summer-must-reads/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/06/29/the-greatest-list-of-summer-must-reads/#respondThu, 29 Jun 2017 12:42:50 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=326Hello, hello, my lovely friends! I want to start off by apologizing for not posting this on Monday! It was a long weekend of fun, and on Monday, I started feeling kinda rough and had a massive headache. No excuse, I know, but I wanted to explain a bit before diving into today’s amazing post!…

]]>Hello, hello, my lovely friends! I want to start off by apologizing for not posting this on Monday! It was a long weekend of fun, and on Monday, I started feeling kinda rough and had a massive headache. No excuse, I know, but I wanted to explain a bit before diving into today’s amazing post!

I’ve teamed up with a group of amazing mom bloggers, and we’re sharing a round-up of our best must-read blog posts for summer! We have your major summer categories covered, including summer recipes to try, activities for the kids at home, and activities to go out and enjoy with your family. Today I’m sharing with you all these great posts, and I hope you’ll give them a look because these ladies are some of my newfound mom friends who just want to share life with one another and with you! So with no further ado…

Summer is here and the temperatures are already rising!! If you are looking for a yummy and fresh salad recipe check out this one out! After all, who wants to turn on the oven or stove on these hot summer days? Enjoy!

Summer Activities

Are you heading to the Disneyland resort this summer? Here are great tips from a local mom for seeing the resort when you are short on time, including how to beat food lines and how to go through security check-points quicker. This post will help you see more and do more on your next trip!

Whether you live at the beach or visit one throughout the summer, beach days are a blast on hot summer days! If you add kids to the mix, you’ll more than likely be taking everything but the kitchen sink with you! Here are some tips and my top 5 favorite things to take to the beach!

The summer is a great time to take on new adventures and try some new activities; specially as the kiddos start to get restless. Did you know that the Disney Store offers a free annual summer long weekly event?

This summer means fun in the sun, barbecues and hot dogs, cool drinks, exploring with the kids, and enjoying some much needed relaxation. But before you get out in the sun, check out this list of 5 things you should research BEFORE you head out on your summer plans! Here are 5 things you might not think to research about the places you’ll go, so give it a look and see what you need to think about before the kids drag you out of the house!

Summer is officially here, and we’re celebrating by listing 10 different summer activities you can do with your kids at home this summer! The best part? They’re inexpensive, involve little prep work, and they’re great for kids of any age! Keep your kids entertained and enjoying summer with these fun activities!

It’s hard to stay cool during the summer and keep your kids actively engaged in play. That’s why I love these water tables! Your porch will be the hit this summer with these engaging water tables plus some ideas for great sensory add-ons!

And there you have it! The best little summer must read list for you and your family. Remember, if you liked any of these blog posts, please go Pin them on your Pinterest boards from that post and not from this round up. That way my mama friends can get a little credit for their great content!

I’m looking forward to sharing some new things with you soon, so stick around as I try to ramp up to some fun and exciting things on my schedule!

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/06/29/the-greatest-list-of-summer-must-reads/feed/05 Things to Research Before You Head Out This Summerhttp://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/06/19/5_things_research_summer_activities/
http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/06/19/5_things_research_summer_activities/#commentsMon, 19 Jun 2017 15:33:13 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=318It’s summer time, my friends! And that means lots of sunshine, heat, humidity, and free time to get out and about. As a mostly stay at home mom, I know this summer will be really boring if I don’t get out with my son some, and I also know myself well enough to know depression…

]]>It’s summer time, my friends! And that means lots of sunshine, heat, humidity, and free time to get out and about. As a mostly stay at home mom, I know this summer will be really boring if I don’t get out with my son some, and I also know myself well enough to know depression will get me down if I don’t do some fun things! So today let’s talk about what things you need to research before you head out this summer.

I have a number of different things you can research for all types of summer activities, and these are things I looked into myself for our summer fun!

First, let’s talk about different summer activities you can do to get out and about with the kids. I think these activities work for all age levels and adapt well depending on your child’s interest. These generic activities might be easy or hard to find depending on your location, but hopefully there’s something for everyone on this list!

Summer Fun Activities (Where To Get Out With The Kids)

Community pool or YMCA pool

Local parks

State or national parks

Museums

Local zoo

Petting zoo

Amusement parks

Water parks

Now this is just a quick and dirty list for you. And, of course, your location might offer more variety or other things not on my list. But today’s post isn’t to highlight all the great places you can go with your kids this summer! Just a quick search of Pinterest alone reveals dozens of summer bucket lists, posts about fun summer activities with the kids, and places you can go with your kids.

What I want to share with you are some great things to research before you get going to the next fun summer locale!

Summer Research – 5 Things You Might Not Think To Research

I believe one big thing the internet helps us with is getting our answers to questions before we go out. I love not having to call and speak to someone to find out my answers and plan my trip. One thing I’ve noticed is that even some of the smaller places, like my local community pool, have developed websites to help people get information. Even if you live in a small town, take some time to research the places you want to go online. You might be surprised how much information you can get.

Costs & Hidden Fees

I took some time last week to compare costs of going to different pools in my area. One thing that stood out was the possibility of hidden fees, which I wouldn’t have looked at if it wasn’t laid out on one of the websites I visited. What kind of hidden fees? Well, my local pool now charges a $3 cooler fee to bring in a cooler. They want you to spend money on their overpriced concession stand instead, but it helped me to know we couldn’t take a cooler in without paying extra.

When you make plans to go out, make sure to check out the pricing and look for things like cooler fees. You want to plan for all your expenses before you go so you won’t be surprised at the gate or ticket counter.

First Aid Stations

It’s so important to know where you can find a first aid station when you plan to be out in the sun. At this time of year, it’s easy to experience everything from sunburns to sun stroke, so when you plan to be outside for several hours at a time, it’s a good idea to make sure you know whether your pool, park, or other location has a first aid station and where to find it.

As moms, we like to be prepared for everything. We carry sunscreen, bandages, and hand sanitizer. But we need to remember we aren’t in control, and that means knowing where to go to get help when we need it. Check websites for maps or services and see if the location you plan to visit has a first aid station or kit on offer for guests and where you can find it in a pinch.

Special Events/Restricted Access

Lap swimming is a great example of restricted access. Some public pools have lap swimming hours posted either at the pool itself or on their website and request that those not wishing to swim laps leave the pool at that time. On the other hand, some places, like museums, host special events for certain demographics. During the summer, you can usually find special events for children of all ages if you look for them.

Special Pricing/Discounts

Relating back to the costs, one thing you can look for are special discounts. Some places, like amusement parks and water parks, offer discounted pricing if you come later in the day, or they’ll extend your ticket to another day if you come after a certain time of day. Another great thing is finding demographic pricing. An example of that around my area is a number of tourist trap museums in the neighboring town will periodically discount tickets to residents of my county. I look for that because the pricing usually goes from $25 to $10 per adult! It’s a steal of a deal, and I’m sure my area is not the only one where fun kid-centered places will do this.

I find discounted pricing for activities on the local Facebook pages for different museums, zoos, etc. Follow your favorite places on Facebook, and you’ll probably see a lot of deals on pricing depending on the company.

Nursing Rooms

Last but not least, especially for my fellow nursing mamas, check out websites, park maps, and services pages to find out if the place you’re going has a nursing room. I know there’s a lot of controversy on nursing in public and being covered or uncovered. I’m not here to tell you how to nurse your child because that’s not my business. What I will say is that I absolutely love finding out what places have nursing rooms available!

The simple reason is that a lot of times a nursing room is going to be a quiet, air conditioned space where you can sit back and relax a bit after being in the heat for a while. Emmeric simply refuses to nurse where there are loads of distractions, so for me, finding a nursing room is just pure survival. I looked it up, and in my area, not only the zoo but also the water park and amusement park have nursing rooms. I love being able to hide away in the comfort of a quiet space where I don’t have to worry about Emmeric wanting to pop off every two seconds to stare at something. So if your child is as distracted as mine or if you just want a place to cool off, do your research and figure out if the places you’re going have a space for nursing mothers.

I hope this little list has been beneficial for you! And if you struggle with the baby blues, depression, or other mental health problems, I really suggest doing some research and finding some fun things to get out and do this summer. I know it can be hard, but getting some sunshine will help brighten your outlook. Plus, it’s a good way for you and your kids to get that much-needed vitamin D!

Let me know if I included something you might not have thought of on this list. I look forward to hearing all about your summer plans, so leave a comment and let me know if you’re doing any of these fun activities with your family. And come back to visit because I’ll be sharing some parenting lessons on the blog that I learned from my own parents in honor of the recent parent-honoring holidays!

]]>http://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/06/19/5_things_research_summer_activities/feed/1The Problem with Monthly Stickershttp://www.alifewithalittle.com/2017/06/17/monthly_stickers_problem/
Sat, 17 Jun 2017 16:23:54 +0000http://www.alifewithalittle.com/?p=312Emmeric approached the one month old mark, and I pulled out a box of monthly stickers in the shape of ties. I eagerly planned out how I would take this first month’s pictures with him against the Boppy pillow and surrounded by a special homemade blanket and stuffed Pooh bear. In my head, I dreamed…

Emmeric approached the one month old mark, and I pulled out a box of monthly stickers in the shape of ties. I eagerly planned out how I would take this first month’s pictures with him against the Boppy pillow and surrounded by a special homemade blanket and stuffed Pooh bear. In my head, I dreamed of taking pictures all the way up to one year, adding more Winnie the Pooh stuffed characters each time.

Somewhere around five months in, I stopped taking the pictures. At first, I blamed it on my forgetfulness. I’d put the box of stickers somewhere and couldn’t recall where. Then I stopped caring enough to even look. Monthly pictures became problematic for me. And there was a simple reason for that.

Monthly pictures are great when you don’t compare your child to others’ children.

As you can see, I did a collage to celebrate his first year, and here are the first 9 months… It’s clear where the stickers stopped!

When I got pregnant, I found out there were four more girls pregnant around the same time as me. All five of us went to the same high school, graduated the same year, and had been friends or acquaintances. All five of us were on Facebook, and the sharing was a big deal. We laughed about the irony of us all becoming first time moms in the same year, and it was fun imagining our future children growing up together.

Of the five, I was due last. So as they delivered, I eagerly waited for my chance to share pictures of this baby that I’d waited so long for. I had baby showers, opened adorable gifts, cleared out and redecorated our second bedroom turned nursery. I watched as they started sharing loads of photos of their children, and I wanted to be a part of that with them.

Then Emmeric came. We went through what felt like an endless number of health problems only to struggle with his weight gain. I watched my friends post pictures of their children each month with updated statistics on their growth and how happy their doctors were. I watched my son struggle to gain, go to doctor after doctor visit with less than stellar improvements, and felt disappointed.

I realize a lot of this came about with my depression. I compared myself and my son to my friends and their children. It hurt to realize my son was barely hitting numbers or stayed off the charts when people reported their children hitting this or that percentile. How can any mother want to share photos of her child and spout off, “This month we stayed off the charts again!” for her friends and family to see?

I stopped posting the monthly photos or even trying to get them because inside I felt so much pain about not being able to be happier about his hitting each month. I hated that I couldn’t post multiple happy photos and share all the neat things he was learning, the ways he was changing, and the updated statistics about my son.

Instead I sat back and brooded. And that was bad.

Sometimes social media makes it harder on mamas.

And here are the last four months of Emmeric’s first year! Look how big he was getting!

I really believe social media is a tool you can use for good or for bad. In this particular case, I used it as a way to berate myself for not being on top of things, for not being able to share only good news about my son.

I know everyone struggles. Every parent experiences problems or sickness with their children, and life isn’t always sunshine and flowers. But when people share only the happy things on social media, it looks a lot like they live enchanted lives of baby growth, health, and happiness that I wasn’t experiencing.

Depression, and Satan, used my social media browsing as a means of finding more negatives to dwell on. I should have simply backed off or even gone on a social media fast, but like a lot of people, I’m rather addicted to the screen time.

Social media on its own is not bad, so please don’t think that’s what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that it’s easy to use it in the wrong way and wind up dealing with your own pain and suffering as a result. If you’re like me and find it hard to deal with certain types of posts or even certain places on social media, perhaps you should consider taking a break or even doing a bit of a fast from it. Step back, take stock of what’s going on in your head and heart, and maybe find something to take the place of that social media time.

I stopped celebrating monthly gains with Emmeric because I was so focused on everyone else’s awesome progress. I saw us as paltry by comparison and felt discouraged as my friends’ babies grew and grew. I stopped taking monthly pictures and decided it would be easier to just avoid thinking about the differences in our kids by not sharing anything about my own child.

But I didn’t stop surfing Facebook for more information about what neat things my friends’ kids were doing. I felt some amount of jealousy that things weren’t going so easy for us, but I only saw what they shared on Facebook. So I could have easily been jealous of someone who had similar, worse, or very different issues than we had.

I hate that my brain fixated on these updates and made them into a negative. I hate how hurt I got, but I realize that time is past now. Emmeric is one year old, and I have yet to see those monthly stickers go past 12 months.

There is something I need to remember before we move forward into this next year with my son, though.

I choose how I respond to things.

I can choose to respond to social media posts, friends’ comments, and other things any way I want. Yes, depression will try to make me feel bad. My kneejerk reaction sometimes will be to see the negative in situations. But I can always choose some other response.

We struggled a lot in the last year, and we overcame a lot of obstacles. Because of that, we still see that Emmeric isn’t quite measuring up the way he should. But we succeeded in spite of all the things life threw at us. And I am so proud of all of us, my whole family, for getting to this place.

As we move forward and continue to see the changes in Emmeric, I plan to remind myself that I can always choose how I respond. I don’t have to choose the negative, the victim playing, the woe-is-me, the blame game. Instead, I can choose to stand tall, to give thanks for small victories, to grasp joy and to feel peace about the future.

If you’ve struggled with feeling guilt from comparison or failure or any other problems you’ve had, I would love your thoughts on this. Do you try to choose your own responses, or do you let your mind and heart get flooded with the negatives? Would you be willing to step back and reevaluate with me so that you, too, can start to change the way you respond? Let me know in the comments!

I look forward to sharing some more with you, and I hope to hear back from some of you as we continue moving forward into Emmeric’s second year of life. If you’re reading this, I hope you know how amazingly strong you are as a person and how worthy you are to choose joy instead of sadness today! Come back soon, my friend, and have a wonderful day!