The obligatory search term post

I’ve held off on posting about this because until recently, the search terms that bring people to my blog haven’t been all that funny. But now I have a pretty decent crop to share with you. None of them are dirty or really demented, though. That disappoints me. Obviously I’ll have to increase the naughty content here to get some good keywords for next time.

whats is the metaphiscal word for weebles
Wow. I would like to peer inside this person’s head to see what prompted this question.

what does it mean when everytime u see a weeble in yur house u think of a person
This puzzles me on many levels. What’s with the Weebles in their house? The way the question is phrased, it almost sounds like this person sees them unexpectedly. Do they just show up? Because I think that would disturb me more than anything else. Also, what person do they think of when they see the Weeble? Is it always the same person? Or is it just someone at random? And do they always see the same Weeble? I have so many questions.

how long can you be nice to someone you hate
My personal best is about five minutes.

I’m telling you MW, put the words “naked, nude or boner” in your posts and you will see some freaky ass search terms. I really haven’t thought of Weebles in decades until you came along. Interesting to note that people are still in Weebles mode.

I would never have dreamed how many people are in Weebles mode, Maggie. I mean, seriously. I’ll definitely take your advice, because if nothing else I want to finally see the words “Weeble boner” in my search terms.

What is “metaphiscal” anyway? And I know all about the He-Man-Woman Haters club, Weebs. Never thought of reiki practitioners being “flakey” but love your answer to it — done with your usual aplomb, flair and finesse and made me laugh out loud.

You, sir, MUST do a search term post. The collection of search terms on your blog must be spectacular.

I don’t know that the poor little Weebles can spit *or* swallow, they’re so small. But if they could, I’d certainly hope they’d mind their manners and finish everything on their plates, if you know what I mean.

Out of curiosity I just Googled “what is the psychic word for weebles” and your site is the first four hits out of 319,000 results. Impressive. My site’s # 1 search term is (yawn) “lame adventures” but the last one is “bad plumbing pictures”. I Googled that search term, got 3,960,000, but resisted scratching the itch to look through all of those to find LA, even though I guess, someone with a clogged drain did. Back to you, since I’m at work right now and just a spewing fountain of mindless curiosity, I Googled “weebles” and got 192,000 hits. Your site comes in on the third page. Now I need a nap.

Now that’s dedication, my friend. I’m glad that if anyone else needs to know the psychic word for Weebles, I’ll be their go-to source. “Bad plumbing pictures” is interesting—why do they want bad plumbing pix as opposed to good ones? People are so odd.

Darn it! Smaktakula beat me to the punch on “The He Man Woman Haters Club”! But I bet Smaktakula didn’t build one like I did when I was a kid! And I was the president too. So there!
I really loved your post.
Lanier
Pres. of the Riveride Ca. Chapter of the HMWH Club.

Ha today someone found mine with “Chinese long eyebrows” The other terms were “ladies in workout clothes not panties” “Sex toys” “Ladies who work out in itty bitty clothes” “breadsticks” “Objects to use…” I swear my site isn’t porn!

Welcome, Rebecca! That’s what makes these search terms even funnier, when your site ISN’T porn—but honestly, these searchers…what is their deal? And the whole thing about ladies working out in workout clothes but with no panties, why is that so much more of a turn on? Are panty lines really that much of a problem? You have to wonder.

LOL Thanks 🙂 I am going to follow you 🙂 I know right!? I have fun writing the post that got those searches. Don’t feel obligated to read it, but this is the post that finds those searches.http://ladyornot.com/?p=111

One of the funniest search term posts I’ve ever read. Made me laugh out loud more than once, which is at the far end of my “rank-the-laugh” meter, just underneath peed my pants, which thank goodness, I’ve never yet done with laughing, though, if you post another one of these search engine entries, I might yet accomplish.

My husband came home grumpy, so I marched him into my den and sat him down in front of your post. He came out smiling and laughing, particularly at the Alex Trebek one. See? You’re even good at keeping marriages happy. 🙂

1, It’s from Little Rascals. Instead of bonus points, can I just have some ice cream? 2, I’m the one who made search term posts obligatory, so now that you’ve met your quota, you will get your subscription to the jelly of the month club. Good work. 3, HILARIOUS.

I did know the bonus thingy up there, but soooo many people answered ahead of me, I am unable to claim knowledge. Sucks. I mostly get Norwegians looking for sexy dates and flaky pastry. Hey! I can steer them here to your post! Flaky pastry AND hot dead guys…they’ll be thrilled!

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, kayjai, I’m sure you knew that it was Little Rascals. Bonus points for you. I’m curious about the Norwegians looking for sexy dates and flaky pastry, though. What sort of business are you running over there?

Massive legs…that must have been an off day for you, La La. And seriously, what’s with the surprise Weebles? What happens, you’re just sitting on the couch and then, “Hey look, a Weeble!”?? What sort of funhouse do these people live in??

Loved your responses to the search terms. It had never occurred to me to look at them before. My crop today is fairly innocent, though there is a dubious search for a “gerbil felching video.” That one’s my fault. I did once post a video about felching with a gerbil.

Yes, I know. Just like Dufour puffed pastry – made right there in your wonderful New York City. We get it at Whole Foods and every time I buy it, I think to myself: “You know, this reminds me of me because I, too, am flaky.” BTW, I read this post out loud to Peter and he has offered to become the president of your fan club. What do you think?

So much good stuff here!
I feel #3 could only have been written by Honey Boo Boo. I think she meant “Weevil” not Weeble. It would make sense that she sees weevils in hur double wide house, right?
Your 5 minute personal best is 4 minutes longer than mine. You’re a waaay better person then I am, Weebs.
Finally, what about WOMEN with massive legs? What do we know about them? I’m curious, since I’m one of them. haha!

I know, where are the searches for “women with thunder thighs”?? I feel cheated. And I’m not quite sure on the 5 minutes, Grippy, I’m hoping I lasted a full 5 but I can’t be sure. You and I are of like mind in the patience-with-idiots category.

Don’t feel bad, Lynne, I didn’t see them at first either. And yes, it really makes me wonder what people are thinking when they do these searches. Also, why on earth would anyone care if Alex Trebek knows Urdu???

I like the idea of someone searching “I think a dead guy is hot” on Google. Like they’re depositing all they’re secrets into the Internet without realizing that it would be seen by all who read this post.

Mme. Weebles, thanks a bunch for stealing the title of a post I was planning. It seems we agree that some things warrant being treated with light-hearted derision. ‘Men with massive legs’ is a personal favourite.

I would also like to claim my bonus points for knowing of the He-Man Woman Haters Club, without Googling, and without reading the comments. Just when you thought they couldn’t get better, the Simpsons had Moe kill the original Alfalfa.

Were you thinking of the exact same post title? Because that’s pretty funny if you were. I think you should still use it, as long as you attribute it appropriately, of course. And I’ll give you bonus points for knowing about the HMWHC.

Actually, I’m surprised you don’t get more porn type searches, since you’ve written about boob ogling.

I’m also starting to wonder if maybe the comments also contribute to the strange search terms. If I start commenting on frog, snakes, locusts, and Jon Hamm over here, will those four words start showing up in your search terms alot?

That’s a good question, Lovely, I’m not sure how that works, if the searches tend to pick up only the words from the posts themselves, or from the comments too. I can’t see why they would distinguish between posts and comments, it’s all words on the same page. So this post itself should generate plenty of good search material. Also, this may be the first time frogs, snakes, locusts, and Jon Hamm have ever been grouped together like that. Nice one.

These are weird… For some reason I like the ‘how long can you be nice to someone you hate’ one.

The Little Rascals, eh? My favorite — I like the one when the break into the bakery and sit on the curb — it’s about five of ’em — eating the spoils — pies, and CAKES! I think this is the one where one of them says, ‘This is good eating food!” I love that!

Wow, am I late to the party. 🙂 I love search term posts (having done a few myself). Somehow I get the Russian searches for things like flowering trees. I never would’ve guessed Russians would be searching on such things. Or that my blog would rank high in their search results. 🙂

Alex Trebek and Urdu, hmm. Never would’ve thought of that one! And maybe it’s just a matter of time before someone searches for “hot dead weebles”….

LOL Madame. I laughed out loud at “My personal best is about five minutes,” and “Also, fuck you.”

I wonder, now you’ve put these search terms in the text of your blog, does that mean you’ll get even more hits from people searching for men with massive legs etc? A few repeat postings and you could monopolize the entire men with massive legs audience (assuming you want to, that is).

I’m really going to have to pep up my keywords if I’m going to get anything more interesting than “lost socks”. Mind you, I frequently get the spam-comment classic “I so lick your blog.” It’s almost a shame to delete them. Lick away, I say!

“I so lick your blog.” That’s a new spam comment on me, Nigel. And you can count me among those who also lick your blog very much. To the extent that my monitor is sparkly clean after reading your posts.

These searches really make me wonder more about men with massive legs and the people who love them. Or hate them.

Pantyhose fetishes, eh? There reallly is a fetish for everyone, isn’t there. So if you were to post about guys who have fetishes for mean soccer moms who cougar around while wearing fishnets, your view count would probably go through the roof.

I’ve got a lot of searchterms that have something to do with smoking.
I don’t smoke myself.
One of the best I’ve got so far, was ‘a guy like you should wear a warning’ (the link with my blog isn’t obvious at all). Oh, and ‘kill uggs’ I liked as well!

The most entertaining search term I’ve had so far is ‘the grass is always greener’, which really isn’t very entertaining at all. I mean the entertainment may be in the original post, but not on the search term.

I’m surprised you don’t have more interesting searches, Val—you have an eclectic mix of subject matter in your posts, I would think that would lead to some good stuff. Your phobia post might yield some good ones soon!

I was all, “I should comment! I love search terms!” Then I was like, “Oh, seventy bazillion people have already commented, and probably said things much like what I want to say, only funnier.” So now I’m just, “Hey there, Weebles! Have a nice day!”

In that case … I’ve had some awesome search terms, and mostly they seem to be due to the use of tagged pictures and words that are innocuous when taken in context. My post “Baby Torturing 101” netted me this gem recently: “is it ok to torture a baby because they are going to forget anyway?” And it has also destroyed what little faith I had in humanity.

Holy mother of pearl, that is unfucking believable. That’s the kind of thing that makes me wish they could put a trace on the IP addresses of people who ask those questions, so that the cops can track them down and beat them senseless.

I needed to write one more comment so that I could put you at 153!!!!
That’s so insane!!! But it doesn’t surprise me, you’re the queen of funny and likability. You’re a nice combo platter. I thought Guapo’s place was a party, I think you just took his crown.

Welcome! If you look at the photo in my header, those are Weebles. One of them a dead Weeble. They still make them, but these are old-school Weebles; the newfangled ones are silly looking, in my opinion. Old school is best.

Love your zinger for the reiki-hater, but the one that intrigued me most was the “psychic word for Weebles”. Say whaaaat…?

But thanks to your post, I discovered my top search term today was “man lived in boston drove austin nutts”, obviously referring to my “Oh, Balls!” post on dirty limericks. I have to admit it restored my faith in humanity. Anybody searching for dirty limericks can’t be all bad.

you know, I’ve always wondered about these “search” post. I must be a very boring person cause no one (OK, very, very few) go to my blog by doing a search. And the very few searches are always this: “Summer Solstice Girl blog”

Oh, good, it’s not just me. I’ve gotten some pretty weird search terms that have led to my blog as well, though none as impressive as yours. And I actually tried putting some of the terms into a search machine once and now my computer thinks I’m a pervert.

[…] (to use the words of my blogger friend, Madam Weebles). It was, in fact, Ms. Weebles’ own ‘Obligatory Search Term Post’ that inspired my project, but, thus far, my use of her suggestion has resulted in not much more […]