The perfect wing partner

Now, I realize that you are reading this and automatically thinking a Perfect Wing Partner (aka PWP) is the perfect ‘Wing Man’.

This, my friends, is not the case.

Perfect Wing Partner – What’s that all about? Here is the list of the exact criteria someone needs to be proclaimed your PWP.

They tell you when you look ‘ok’. No one should ever want to look ‘ok’. You want to look good. ‘Ok’ is boring, plain, and unnoticeable.

They help you come up with a plan to meet members of the opposite sex. Whether they help you choreograph a sexy jazz hand dance, or they push you into a stranger that you think is cute, however it is they help you, they get you noticed.

They get you to stop being so selfish and help them meet members of the opposite sex. Ex. Waving at strangers as you drive by them while yelling ‘MY FRIEND LIKES YOU’.

They cheer you up when you are down by telling you that whomever hurt you is a total d-bag, not worth your time and you can do so much better. They tell you this even if they are 100% lying, because that’s what PWP’s do.

They let you drag them to parties in hopes that you’ll both meet new people and all your problems will be solved. This is often a disappointment, and the PWP knows this, but they do it anyway because you’d do it for them.

They host parties, and only invite yourself + a whole bunch of sexy unattached strangers.

They know when you need ‘possitive male attention’ and will invite you to a party where you’ll get lots of harmless attention that not only boosts your ego a bit, you don’t have to deal with getting hit on by creepers.

They understand, that trading clothes is a necessity because sometimes you can’t handle your own wardrobe and you need to show off some assets you typically hide.

They make fun of you and give you the ability to laugh at yourself.

Most importantly, when you order chicken wings, they eat the wings, leaving all the drumsticks to you. Or visa versa depending on your preference.