Wednesday, August 30, 2006

If you are in a hurry these days, don't visit Target, especially if you are wearing a red t-shirt. This week is "Frantic Housewives Looking for School Supplies from Pawed Over Stock Week."

I went looking for school supplies today (all right, I procrastinated). I was wearing my Wisconsin Badger t-shirt ... bright red. Five housewives stopped me and asked me questions. The first kind of baffled me. I tried to help at first, but it wasn't until she asked if I had one of those "scanner things" to check a price did I realize her error.

The next woman to ask me a question was staring blankly into an empty bin where glue stick had formerly resided. She asked if there were any. I looked inside, looked at her a bit askance, and said "No." Then she asked if any would be coming in soon. I apologized and said I didn't work for Target. She apologized also and said it was the shirt. Then I noticed that red also happened to be the color of the shirts customer service associates at Target wore. There were five within ten feet of us. Apparently I looked more helpful.

Though, I couldn't help but wonder why the big Badger on the front of my t-shirt didn't give my identity away.

Anyway, three others asked me for help. I was having fun and not being in a hurry I walked them around to different aisles, pointed out deals and made suggestions of other stores to visit.

Before leaving, I asked a real customer service person whether any glue sticks would be arriving soon. She didn't know.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The successor to the Hindenburg, Rush Limbaugh, thinks obesity is the fault of liberals. During a portion of his radio show, Limbaugh blamed "the left," "food stamps," and the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) for "the latest crisis" of "obesity among those who are impoverished." He also said:

I think you might then say that the obesity crisis could be the fault of government, liberal government. Food stamps, all those -- you know, I'm gonna tell you people a story. I -- just, well, the government, you could say, is killing these people because we know obesity kills, and the government's killing the poor. The Bush administration is killing the poor with too much food.

And so, now, we find out that there is obesity and all this amongst the poor more than amongst those who are not poor. It's sort of a textbook case of what happens when we let liberals have their way.

During his August 27 televised sermon, Jerry Falwell (sorry, he does not deserve the honorific of reverend) stated the following:

I expect the Lord to return in the 21st century to Rapture at his church. Now, I can't prove that. I cannot prove that the Lord is gonna come in this century. No one knows the day or the hour, but in my heart I believe it because there are no more predicted events that need to happen before our Lord can return.

Translation: I'm getting smarter. I figure that there are 994 years left in this century. I'll be long gone before its end and if the Lord does not return, no skin off my carcass.

I expect a global economy in the 21st century, which first will manifest itself as a cashless society. I believe that plastic will take the place of cash, and that while this will only be fulfilled during the tribulation period at the Rapture, I believe that God is setting the stage for, and laying the infrastructure for, a cashless society right now. Most people, many pay their bills online already. And the day will come, I believe, when there will be no cash, and the only way you can get cash and trade and to do business is to [points to his forehead] have the mark of the beast.

Terry Randall, executive director of Operation Rescue, an anti-abortion group, today announced that doctors who cause cancerous cells to commit suicide will be targeted in the same way that doctors who perform legal abortions have been ... fatally. Randall said, “We are pro-life, and thus pro-cancer. Only g-o-d can take a life … he told me so last night.”

When asked if god speaks to him very often, Randall responded: “Only on Thursdays for some reason and only if I’ve had a bagel with cream cheese. God likes Jewish foods.”

Others speculate indigestion may be the cause of Randall’s communications, or schizophrenia.

Monday, August 28, 2006

The little league team from Columbus, GA just finished off the Japanese club 2-1 in the finals of the Little League World Series. I watched most of the game. Damn, these kids are good.

Most impressed by the sportsmanship. The U.S. pitcher hit a Japanese batter near the end of the game. He went over to make sure he was all right. After the game, it was touching to see the shots of some of the Japanese kids in tears over their team's defeat, and to see the entire U.S. team go over to shake their rivals' hands.