Youths and Depression

Major depression disorder is a mental health condition in which unrelenting feelings such as sadness, anger, hopelessness, or frustration persist for prolonged periods of time and interfere with a person’s daily life.

​Although major depression arises most commonly in early adulthood, anyone can develop major depression disorder, including children and teenagers.

Symptoms of the depressed phase are:

Intense sadness or despair;

No interest in activities once enjoyed;

Loss of energy, fatigue;

Sleep difficulties;

Changes in appetite;

Difficulty concentrating;

Constant thoughts of death or suicide.

Parents and their depressed teens

Young people may be overwhelmed by feelings of depression, loneliness, hopelessness, or suicidal ideation,. They want their parents to listen.

Teens are seeking deeper more meaningful dialogue, than typical everyday superficiality conversation with parents, and peers.

So what are parents to do when they see their child with no friends, sleeping through class or dropping out of activities ? Many parents want to be more involved when it comes to treatment for depressed and suicidal youth.

Parents should learn to listen first

For young people with depression, many times conflicts with parents revolve around deeper issues in their parent-child relationship than schoolwork or boys. Youths often think their parents don’t love them, they are not measuring up to their parent's standards, or that parents demand too much of them. additionally, they may be dealing with other stressors such as family violence, dating issues, and/or divorce. Many factors in an adolescent life widens the gap between them and their parents even more, and so communication slowly breaks down until many of these young people have minimal to no communication with their parents.

Steps for effective communication with depressed youths:

First identify the problems in their relationship with their adolescent child.

The next step is to help him or her articulate their frustration and tell their story as they experience it,

Listen to your child without t being judgmental. (Young people want their parents to listen to them and understand their world)

Don’t offer immediate solutions to their problems. (This is a mistake many parents make; They want to fix their child's problems that they don’t take the time to listen.)

Work on building trust, don't become defensive if your child say you are the problem, or bring up conflict issues. (When a young person says, "You weren’t there for me because you were so into yourself," it can be difficult for parents to accept the criticism. Often they give excuses, become argumentative with the child, or start to cry.) Doing so will stop the communication in its tracks. However, if young people feel safe with their parents, they can argue with them without fear of rejection. If they are unsure how parents will react, they become much more cautious about being critical. Then they may withdraw into themselves and have problems.

Allow your child to say how they are feeling without you getting angry or negative. (When parents listen and teens experience being heard, trust is built up again. This can strengthen the relationship between parents and children)

Many parents are uncertain about their own parenting role, and how to balance a friendly relationship with clear boundaries for their children. Even if you're friends with your son or daughter, you also need to be authoritative- which is different from being authoritarian. You have to set expectations and good boundaries, while also providing love and support.

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