On Tuesday, the 20th of October 2015, two days after the Tibetan exile leader polls had closed, the Tibetan Exile Election Commission announced on Tibet.net that a new rule had been enacted whereby the second and final stage ballot would be limited to just two candidates, unless the third candidate came within 20% of the vote total of the second candidate. The date of the announcement in all the reports was Tuesday 20, October.

This ‘move’ ruled out any chance of the sole Independence candidate, Lukar Jam, from participating in the final round of the election process. Formalising the historically significant event whereby Tibetans in exile were forbidden from voting for a leader who supports the sovereignty and political independence of Tibet.

Sadly, many well-meaning, yet deluded, Left-liberals and those on the Religious Right have attempted to ‘blame’ or ‘justify’ the murders by stating that Charlie Hebdo’s cartoons were ‘racist’ and that Muslims were ‘rightly’ offended.

Talk about racist double standards. Anyone remember the Islamist destruction of the 1700 year old Bamiyan Buddha statues in Afghanistan and the lack of a violent, angry reaction to it by Buddhists? Has everyone forgotten about the decades of murder, torture, oppression, imprisonment and colonisation of Tibetan Buddhism and Tibetans by the Communist Chinese government? I have yet to read of any mass killing spree by devout Tibetan Buddhists, have you? Yet the world remains largely indifferent to Tibetan suffering. Crazy, ‘Allahu Akbar’ shouting gunman mercilessly murdering innocent people with an AK47 on the streets of Paris and they bend over backwards to defend and justify them. What kind of message is that sending people? Violent murder gets sympathy and headlines? What a crazy, old world this is.

Murder is murder. No matter how ‘offended’ you are, no religion worthy of being called a religion condones killing people in its name. If it does, then it deserves to be relegated to the dustbin of history. As the great Tibetan Buddhist leader, 17th Karmapa, Orgyen Trinley Dorje said about the destruction of those ancient statues:

In 2001, the huge Bamiyan Buddha statues in Afghanistan were intentionally demolished. From a certain perspective within Islam, these statues were offensive instruments of idol worship, while to Buddhists they were reminders of sacred principles and the very best of our innate human potential. Basically, we Buddhists use physical images in our spiritual practice, while Muslims worship without images. Clinging to either position was creating a wall between people. But they are just statues. Allowing ourselves to be pitted against each other over a statue – now that is really clinging to biases.

Personally, I do not see a basis for treating religious differences this way…..Walls come up between people when we attach more importance to the form of our religious identities than to the substance of what they teach us. When spiritual beliefs are used to build up walls between people, this is a total misunderstanding of the purpose of spirituality. Spirituality should mean coming closer to yourself. When this happens, you become closer to others, too. Spirituality and religion should dismantle discrimination and labels, not shore them up. It should break, not create, barriers between people.

Silence or excuses in the face of injustice is tantamount to supporting it. Something Tibetans understand far better than most. Let no one ever become too complacent though. As renowned Tibetan scholar, Tsering Shakya lamented today:

Sadly, the tradition of satirical songs (in Tibetan society) has disappeared and leaders are rarely lampooned. Now we are learning to be offended and less critical of our own tradition.

]]>https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2015/01/09/%e0%bd%84%e0%bc%8b%e0%bd%86%e0%bd%a2%e0%bc%8b%e0%bd%a3%e0%bd%b2%e0%bc%8b%e0%bd%a1%e0%bd%b2%e0%bd%93%e0%bc%8d-i-am-charlie/feed/0charlie yinlamanyonpaCharlie-Hebdo-Covers-07charlie yinEat some yak meat and smile like a Tibetan, Michelle Obama’s in town!https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/eat-some-yak-meat-and-smile-like-a-tibetan-michelle-obamas-in-town/
https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/eat-some-yak-meat-and-smile-like-a-tibetan-michelle-obamas-in-town/#respondThu, 27 Mar 2014 14:52:54 +0000http://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/?p=506Michelle Obama is currently visiting China on a state-sponsored tourist junket to see the Great Wall and patronise some ‘minority’ areas.

The Chinese government informally stated (ie insisted) they are delighted to host Mrs Obama as long as she doesn’t say anything ‘political’ (e.g. anything about respecting basic human rights).

Before Obama’s visit, Chinese officials held top-secret meetings discussing how they could hoodwink Mrs Obama into becoming yet another victim of their re-education campaign on Tibet. Part of the plan involved a highly orchestrated trip to a ‘Tibetan’ restaurant in Chengdu (i.e. Tibet), where the first lady was served Yak meat by some smiling people in Tibetan dress holding Tibetan scarves.

The hotel where Michelle Obama ate her Tibetan meal is proud of its background, as its website (http://www.th-hotel.com) states: “The Chengdu Tibetan Sky Lake Hotel (成都西藏天湖宾馆) hotel was established in 1956 as the No. 2 Guest House of the Representative Office of the People’s Government of the Tibetan Autonomous Region.” It goes on saying former President and Communist Party Secretary Hu Jingtao visited the hotel in 1990 when he was the party secretary of Tibet.

Hu and four other senior Chinese Communist Party leaders last month were given Interpol arrest warrants by Spain’s National Court on charges of “genocide, torture and crimes against humanity”. Hu was the party secretary in Tibet in 1988-1992 and ordered some of the bloodiest crackdowns in Tibet’s history. Does the First Lady know that?

The Chinese government were reportedly relieved that Mrs Obama did not express any desire to visit the black ‘minority’ community in China. ‘It’s easier to pass off a Chinese person as a Tibetan than ‘blacking one up” stated one Chinese official.

When Mrs Obama made the faux pas of asking why the menu of the ‘Tibetan’ restaurant was written in Chinese and English, instead of Tibetan, a government official snappily retorted that the first language of Tibetans is Mandarin Chinese and always has been.

Although no ‘blacking up’ was required for this propaganda stunt, the Tibetan restaurant photo op was just as offensive and racist. Whatever will the Obamas do next? Perhaps a full Crimean banquet with Putin is next on the agenda. It’s enough to make anyone want to vomit all that yak meat up.

A Chinese protester is detained by police outside the Concert Hall in Stockholm. Chinese artists protested that Nobel peace prize winner from 2010, Liu Xiaobo, is still in prison in China. Picture: AP Source: AP

Apso is in a serious mood today. Yesterday was 64th anniversary of International Human Rights Day and the annual award of the Nobel Peace Prize in Stockholm. Four nude Chinese dissidents tried to cross police cordons minutes before the Nobel ceremony in Stockholm, in a bid to draw attention to the continued imprisonment of Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo and his family. The nude men were writers Liao Yiwu, Wang Yiliang, Bei Ling and artist Meng Huang. This is their statement, also signed by Wang Juntao, scholar and Chairman of Democratic Party of China:

“We’re running nude here, because this place was where Chinese Communist Party writer Mo Yan, a stern guardian of censorship, was awarded the Nobel Literature Prize.

We’re reminding this forgetful world: there’s a fierce critic of censorship, an eye witness of the Tiananmen Massacre of June 4th, 1989. His name is Liu Xiaobo, also a Nobel Peace Prize Winner, he was sentenced to 11 years in jail. He’s still in prison.

We’re reminding this forgetful world: there’s also a poet and outstanding artist named Liu Xia, who’s uninterested in politics. She’s been under house arrest, just because she’s Liu Xiaobo’s wife.

We’re reminding this forgetful world: there’s also an ordinary Beijing resident named Liu Hui, he’s uninterested in politics. He’s serving an 11-year jail sentence, same length as that of Liu Xiaobo, just because he’s Liu’s brother-in-law. He passed on a little information of his family to the outside world and was arrested by domestic security bureau for “economic crimes”.

We’re reminding this forgetful world: persecution is continuing. Liu Xia is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. According to the current Chinese laws, she should not be a criminal, despite that she’s married to a jailed man. She needs to breathe air of freedom to heal the wounds in her heart.

We’re running nude here, it’s because when such horrific political persecution based on family ties happens, the propaganda machine of the Communist Party is running with much fanfare, using the Nobel prize ceremonies hosted by the Swedish Academy. Universal human values are facing an unprecedented challenge. Since the winter of 2012, countless people became prisoners of conscious, 122 Tibetan have self immolated. Isolated in her home as if in another world, Liu Xia cries: “They are Nobel prize winners, why are they being treated differently?”
(Statement translated by Rose Tang)

”Has Arundhati Roy been invited on stage to introduce Sikyong or share a platform with the Dalai Lama? Has Chomsky ever met a Tibetan leader? Tarig Ramdan, one of the leading progressive Islamic scholars at Oxford was a member of SFT and spent time in Dharamsala when he was student. He has declared publicly his support for Tibet in his writings. He is now black listed by the Americans. Why haven’t the Tibetans reached out to him and honoured him as a guest speaker at Tibetan functions? The Tibetan elite will never fraternize with intelligent and progressive people like Arundhati , Chomsky and Ramdan, because of fear of American reaction.

At a recent address to the Tibetan Community in NY, who was invited to introduce Sikyong, who was given prominent place on the stage? A second rate Hollywood actor! Is this an image of political sophistication? The question is not can the Tibetan issue have universal appeal, but why have we failed to articulate it in a language that speaks of freedom struggle. For many the call for the return of the Dalai Lama to Tibet is no different from Iranian royalists wishing for the return of the rule Pahlavi dynasty!”

A few days ago, the great freedom fighter and rebel Nelson Mandela passed away. Brutal imperialists and dictators from the US, China and so on were quick to claim Mandela as their own hero despite the fact Mandela went to jail for his political acts and was renowned for his dislike of neo-liberal capitalism, the US and mainstream politics. As many others also stated, we should remember Mandela for the person who was hated by the establishment and stop the ‘rightwashing’ of his legacy. He was not a man who chose diplomacy or appeasement as the route to freedom.

]]>https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/12/11/the-nobel-peace-prize-and-human-rights-day-in-tibetan-exile-mandela-would-be-turning-in-his-grave/feed/2lamanyonpaImageChina intent on proving they are the world’s biggest d**khttps://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/10/04/china-intent-on-proving-they-are-the-worlds-biggest-dks/
https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/10/04/china-intent-on-proving-they-are-the-worlds-biggest-dks/#respondFri, 04 Oct 2013 07:49:06 +0000http://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/?p=446Who needs satire when this is happening in China?

The headquarters of the Chinese propaganda mouthpiece People’s Daily in Beijing has been likened to gigantic part of the male anatomyreports Shanghaiist. A gold-plated knob to further f**k Tibetan and Chinese citizens with their ‘news stories’.

A People’s Daily spokesperson said: ‘Well we are so sick of the world saying Asian men have small dicks, now we can say we have the world’s biggest dick.’

Left out of the guidebook by the Chinese censors was advice for Chinese travellers when faced with ‘awkward’ foreigner questions about Chinese politics. Offensive responses such as ‘Tibet has always been a part of China’ and ‘there are no human rights abuses in China’ were still felt to be appropriate, despite the fact such statements make the Chinese sound like a bunch of brainwashed idiots. How about a ‘Guidebook for the Civilised Treatment of Chinese and Tibetan citizens’, please?

]]>https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/10/04/china-intent-on-proving-they-are-the-worlds-biggest-dks/feed/0lamanyonpachinaIt’s Middle Way or the Highwayhttps://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/09/30/its-middle-way-or-the-highway/
https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/09/30/its-middle-way-or-the-highway/#commentsMon, 30 Sep 2013 09:06:11 +0000http://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/?p=428So, peace, unity and confidence have been restored to Tibetan politics in exile.

Gu Chu Sum have changed their policy of Independence to Middle Way autonomy for Tibet.

There’s a new political creed and mantra in exile politics these days. A small, yet vocal, group of ethnic Tibetans – most of whom don’t speak a word of Tibetan and have spent most, if not all, their lives in North America or Europe – are now trying to convince Tibetans in Tibet and exile that a major root of their problems is not Chinese communists but white, westerners.

Apso has recently been targeted by one such rabid zealout who writes a blog called Angry Tibetan Girl. In it ‘she’ falsely accuses Apso of being a ‘white feminist racist’. While I’m proud to admit that I’ll happily love any bitch whatever their pedigree, breed, fur color, (like any progressive Tibetan male would) I doubt Angry Tibetan girl is so open and ‘liberal’. Rumor has it that her hatred of whites (especially women with Tibetan boyfriends) stems from being lonely and single. Whatever the truth is, the day ATG marries a black or Indian guy and takes him home to Apa and Ama la, is the day she cannot be accused of ‘kettle calling the pot black’. In the meantime, let’s hope she keeps up those Sunday school classes in Tibetan language and culture and that the progressive institution of the ‘arranged marriage’ comes to her rescue. Woof!

Sadly, this is not just an isolated incident. Recently on social media, a member of the Tibetan exile Science department angrily accused whites who come to Dharamsala of being imperialists who are ‘good for nothing’ ‘know it all’s’, collectively responsible for colonialism yet who try and ‘teach us something’. One such white imperialist scientist, who regularly attends and speaks at the ‘Mind and Life’ conference and ‘Science for Monastics’ program, had this to say:

‘Well, frankly the majority of Tibetans in exile know little about biology, chemistry and physics. That’s why I was invited. Now they’re calling me a racist and imperialist for doing so. Its confusing alright!’

Yet, this small minority of exile Tibetans when asked about the recent Tibet Film Festival poster (and its ‘cultural appropriation’ of the most famous ‘yellow head’ sex symbols, Marilyn Monroe) argued vehemently that is was art and a symbol of progress. Hmmmm (scratches head)….

One Tibetan tried to defend such views by saying:

‘It’s not that we hate all white people. We will happily befriend and welcome anyone who says ‘yes’, smiles and agrees with whatever we say, even if its blatantly wrong. Even if the ‘yellow-head’ is a rampant careerist and Orientalist do-gooder, it’s fine too. What we won’t accept is anyone who dares to challenge us on anything!’

The Chinese government were quick to capitalize on this trend by issuing the following statement:

‘It’s true, white people are the enemy and must be defeated. They keep trying to convince the world that Tibet is a nation that they should have autonomy, freedom and human rights. We actively commend and support any TIbetan who criticizes these pesky, interfering, long-nose, yellow head, big eyed, too tall, white-faced monkeys. They should stay out of Chinese internal politics!’

]]>https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/09/30/white-westerners-now-being-targeted-by-angry-tibetans-whove-read-a-bit-of-fanon/feed/3lamanyonpaImageTibetans in exile desecrate Hollywood’s most sacred iconhttps://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/09/22/tibetans-in-exile-desecrate-hollywoods-most-sacred-icon/
https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/09/22/tibetans-in-exile-desecrate-hollywoods-most-sacred-icon/#commentsSun, 22 Sep 2013 13:12:22 +0000http://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/?p=320As a result of the post-colonial fundamentalist trend that is sweeping the non-white world, the last decade has seen an increase in Tibetans criticising those in their community who look like they are acting in a colonial, imperial manner. No, not the Chinese, those ‘yellow head’ westerners, stupid. Compulsory Tibetan-Tibetan marriage, procreation and eating Tsampa and wearing Chuba every day are policies now being considered by the Tibetan government in exile to prevent this moral and cultural pollution. Exceptions will still be made for any Tibetan who wants a western education, sponsorship, funding, visa or passport. Use of the internet, scientific breakthroughs and mobile phone technology will also be allowed as long as Tibetans do not speak about their western inventors.

However, this week a group of Tibetans (who see themselves as ‘liberal’) took their adoration of all things western to a new extreme. The Tibet Film Festival launched a promotional poster featuring a Tibetan woman mimicing the pose of American sex symbol and icon of ‘yellow head’ beauty, Marilyn Monroe. Reaction to the poster was divided.

Dr. Lobsang Sangay, the Tibetan political leader (a fan of Miss Tibet) was heard saying privately that he saw nothing wrong with the photo at all. That he had always secretly fantasised about Monroe and blonde, white women from his days at Harvard. It is alleged that he even has a secret poster of Monroe that he keeps for private moments, although this could not be confirmed. He was clearly influenced by fellow Harvard graduate, President John F Kennedy’s relationship with Monroe.

Tibetan Buddhist religious leaders (all monks), on the other hand, were outraged calling the poster yet another example of the degenerate West’s influence on pure Tibetan women and culture. Apparently ignoring or oblivious to the degenerate influence of Tibetan Buddhist culture on Tibetan nuns and lay women for centuries. These people when asked if they have heard of Freud’s Madonna-Whore complex, stated simply:

‘No, and I don’t want to know either. Women should be pure, simple and virginal before they marry or be mothers and wives. Anyone else is a filthy whore. ‘

Feminists called the poster out on its blatant objectification of women, with someone suggesting that if the organisers wanted to create something original and radical they should have pictured two homosexual Tibetan men in chuba stripped to the waist, kissing each other. Many so-called ‘progressives’ felt that would not be possible though because they would not be able to find models as:

‘Homosexuality does not exist in the Tibetan community.’

President Obama was asked for a statement on the desecration of one of the US’s sacred celebrity icons. Obama said:

‘I’ll shake hands with President Hu Jintao, and meet the Dalai Lama the next day without any sense of hypocrisy or irony. But this is going too far, that Tibetan woman is no Marilyn Monroe and it is deeply offensive to me, my family and the American people.’

What will they think of next? The Tibetan exile leader as Bruce Lee? Tenzin Tsundue as Johnny Depp? Seriously though, it would have been more dignified, original and ‘cool’ to see two gay men kissing……now that would really have been something to get those self-righteous chins-a-wagging in Dharamsala! Woof!

“The opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude.” George Orwell

So Apso was at the exile literature event today in Dharamsala, promoting Tibetan poet, Tsering Wangmo’s Dhompa’s new book ‘Home in Tibet’. The cover art of the book alone suggested we were potentially taking a dive into child-like fantasy. Dhompa, the first Tibetan-American poet to receive some international recognition and distribution, told the audience she wrote the book for her Tibetan nomad mother.

The Tibetan exile leader, Lobsang Sangay found time in his busy schedule to support and promote Dhompa’s work at the event, and who said politics and art don’t mix? We soon found out why he was there, not only had he known Dhompa for 25 years but also she was top of the class in all subjects at the Tibetan exile educational establishments. Then, to the bemused laughter of the audience, Sangay also referred to the writer’s ‘beauty, humility and lack of forthright opinions’ and the excitement it caused the men (including himself) when she arrived at Delhi University, as further evidence of her ‘talent’ and ‘worthiness’. Groan, someone lend him a copy of De Beauvoir’s ‘Second Sex’ will you?

Dhompa then read a few undoubtedly nostalgic, lyrical and moving passages from the book. Referring to how her mother’s marriage led to her ‘parting her hair on the other side’. One audience member bravely asked her if her book addresses any of the less romantic aspects of Tibetan society, culture and history such as religious theocracy and gender inequality. She responded that the Tibetan landscape is so beautiful (perhaps she’s never visited Scotland or the Swiss Alps) but agreed that the nomad women had ‘hard lives’. Was that a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ then? Anyway, without reading the whole book it’s hard to say, but I guess the more romantic the more the Western lapdogs will lap it all up and make it a Tibetan bestseller! Success!

In an interview for TibetWriters.org Dhompa states that““Nostalgia is political in our experience as ‘Tibetans’ and nostalgia is a recurring voice in contemporary Tibetan poetics in exile.” For Dhompa, exile appears to be the very condition for cultural knowledge. Well, not if you’re a TIbetan living in or from TIbet, right?

A very different kind of Tibetan female writer is also in Dharamsala right now, Kunsang Dolma. Her book ‘A Hundred Thousand White Stones’ published this year, tells of sexual abuse, violence and gender inequality in both Tibet and India. I wonder if Lobsang Sangay would attend an event to promote her book? Uneducated, working-class, opinionated, married to a western man, mother of two mixed-race children…..she’s not ticking those exile patriarchal elite boxes of: ‘simple’, ‘humble’ and ‘un-opinionated’, though is she?!

]]>https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/09/02/nostalgia-romanticism-and-lobsang-sangays-new-cta-pin-up-poster-poet-girl/feed/1lamanyonpalobsang sangayShould we be praying not to be reborn as Tibetan females or as sexist, patriarchal, religious nutcases?https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/should-we-be-praying-not-to-be-reborn-as-tibetan-females-or-not-as-sexist-patriarchal-religious-nutcases/
https://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/should-we-be-praying-not-to-be-reborn-as-tibetan-females-or-not-as-sexist-patriarchal-religious-nutcases/#commentsMon, 26 Aug 2013 04:16:17 +0000http://tibetansatire.wordpress.com/?p=222Sadly, we Tibetan Buddhists don’t have a great reputation anymore when it comes to the treatment of our bitches (or should I say kyemen (lower birth)). It’s all the fault of those pesky western and mongrel bitches who keep daring to tell us superior pedigree Tibetan males (bhumed = not female and higher birth) that women should have equal human rights and respect and not be treated like silly virgins, houseservants or prostitutes (you know, weird, colonial, imperialist, western, Freudian shit like that). It’s even got to the stage where HH the Dalai Lama is coming out with crazy, feminist stuff like ‘The next Dalai Lama might be a woman’ and ‘the world will be saved by the western woman’!

For so long, our male lamas and tulkus have told us to pray not to be reborn as women in our future lives. However, after seeing the way Tibetan females and children are being treated by the exile community in the 21st Century in Free India I think we need to change our pechas to praying not to be reborn as Tibetan females! Or if we’re going to go down the way of those crazy western imperalists, how about praying not to be reborn as sexist, misogynist, patriarchal, religious nutcases instead?! That would certainly reduce a lot of unnecessary suffering…..

First, there was the horrendous Tenzingang case where a Tibetan woman who was tortured and beaten by a bunch of hyper-moralistic, religious Tibetan goons, was then told to apologise and prostrate for her crime of being a woman, while the man (who she was having a consensual relation with and who was the father of her child) got off scot-free! To top that, this week, there was the alleged rape of a five year old Tibetan girl by two Tibetan adult males in Mundgod settlement in South India. The response of the community elders and settlement officers to such an appalling crime? Don’t bring a bad name to HH the Dalai Lama by reporting it. Words fail me. Such incomparable love and compassion! These are just the cases we hear about as well…..