Paul Merton

On 26 February, Spitting Image will
celebrate its 30 birthday. BBC Four will mark the occasion with a
special episode of Arena which promises to tell the “vexed and
frequently hilarious story” of the sketch show which ran for 21 series between
1984 and 1996 and marked a high point in British satire.

On a German satire show last week, a rubber puppet of Gerhard Schroder stripped off and made sexual advances towards a passing waitress. The only reason I know about this is because Schroder is now threatening to sue the show, thereby broadcasting this image to a far wider audience than the satirists could ever have hoped to reach.

THE SERIES of sex documentaries Adult Lives on BBC2 has failed to attract viewers, despite extensive publicity. "Either sex programmes have peaked, or the BBC just can't do sex," said a rival broadcaster.

THAT BATTY Batty moment was as depressing as England's failure to score on Wednesday night. Perhaps it was just me, but I could have sworn, as he scythed through his Polish opponent, that I could glimpse a piece of metal in the midfielder's back - a large key with Kevin Keegan's fingerprints all over it.