These are the slogans that make you turn your head and say “what?” The ones that make you want to slam your head to the ground until it goes away or actually makes sense. Not too much more to say about these slogans but ugggghhhh.

“Dieting doesn’t work, Weight Watchers does.” Wait a minute, isn’t a diet a way to lose weight by eating different than usual? Since when is Weight Watchers not a diet? Yeah, just doesn’t work for me.

“Laugh, cry, share the pants” made famous by The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Seriously, do I need to say more? It sounds like a lame joke on a public access sketch comedy show.

“Our Passion is food. Our secret is people” created by Moxie’s Classic Grill. It may be a tiny company, but this slogan is just waaaay too good to pass up. Soylent Green anyone?

“Are you gellin?” thanks to Dr. Scholl’s massaging gel inserts. This one also belongs on a list of the wold’s worst commercials. Apparently some balding, fat white guy that has never been hip in his life thought this was really clever and funny. How else would it have ever gotten on tv?

“What beer drinkers drink when they’re not drinking beer” used by O’Douls. Beer drinkers like beer, not fake alcohol that tastes like piss water. I can’t even believe this stuff still exists outside of people using it for practical jokes. Who drinks this?

“We got next” says the WNBA. Not only is this just trying too hard to be urban, but it also sounds pretty misogynistic. I mean, why are the women “next?”

“If it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face,” referring to messy Carl’s Jr. meals. Aside from the obvious sexual innuendo of this slogan, who really wants their food all over the place? Unless I’m eating a pile of ribs or a fat caramel apple, I want the least mess possible -especially considering I’m a notably bad slob when it comes to eating anyway.

And there you have it, 8 absolutely mind-numbingly stupid and painful slogans.

“Next” in the WNBA slogan refers to the next game to be played on the court, and I believe the commercial the originally used that slogan aired during the NBA playoffs to let people know the WNBA season was starting after the finals.

I concur that the phrase is trying to hard to sound urban, but aren’t we all?