What I've Learnt About Men and Women by Watching 'Take Me Out'

On Saturday night I came to the end of a weekly tradition. My beloved Take Me Out had its last show of the series. Although it didn't say it would be back for another series, surely it will be... hopefully... don't make me punch you, ITV... BRING IT BACK!

Now I'm not a massive TV viewer (unless you call watching my boxset of The Wire for the fifth time 'TV viewing'), especially Saturday night TV. That's Cowell country, and I want nothing to do with it, thank you muchly. There is something about Take Me Out, though, that makes for quality viewing.

Maybe it is the working-class charm of Paddy McGuinness escaping the considerable shadow of Peter Kay in a way that would make Jonathon Wilkes weep. Maybe it is the fact that the girls and boys get to switch roles in being judges/judged in a Face/Off-esque switcharoo. Maybe it's all the flashing lights...

From what I've seen I have learnt a lot about men and women. Here are a few things:

* Men are pieces of meat. It doesn't matter if they can speak, or what they say if they do speak, as long as their abs are like washboards and their arms are like legs.

* Women are either very picky or very desperate. Some women find little excuses not to date people, like the guy has an odd accent, wears skinny jeans, or they have same haircut as their cousin's ex-boyfriend's roommate. Some women will never turn their light off; regardless of if the man in question looks like he probably still has clumps of his last dates' hair in the trunk of his car.

* The era of the cheesy line didn't die with Blind Date. Shame.

* Men usually describe themselves as "carefree, easygoing and fun". This is code for "dull, horny and conscious".

* Women usually describe themselves as "lively, sensitive and fun". This is code for "desperate, shallow and also conscious".

I do hope it returns, it beats standing in a packed bar, paying £4.00 for a bitter shandy, or reading, on a Saturday night. And don't get me wrong, if it doesn't come back then I will punch ITV. In the face. Hard. You have been warned.