Month: November 2016

My name is Tam and I am 29 years old. I look and act like a 16yrs old teen a lot though. Oh hell it’s life. You call me big sister and I love you dearly. I am an African girl from Europe yet I landed on your mobile devices at your home. I am a free spirit, spontanious and adventurous but I am also educated. I hope that you live life to the fullest but I hope that you believe in education also.

Something in you found something special in me and I would like to tell you that I am extremely happy that you find inspiration in me but baby sis hear me out:

I am not perfect. I have done things in my life that probably made my father wonder why him! A single child. A girl? This crazy girl? Yes dad, me. So understand that what you see me wear and the way my wadrobe look is only a part of the girl in me. Like you, I doubt and I fear baby. Like you I laugh and I cried and like you I hate men 90% of the time.

I want you to do just that “find inspiration” in me to work harder. However, I do not want you to ever wish you had whatever you see me because I want you to have more within you. I want you to be a woman that understand the value of self. I want you to be stronger than I ever was. If, God forbid, I died tonight. I want to know that reading this and other relevant posts I write did teach you that life is beyond instagram. Beyond google. Beyond TV. I want your soul to be the woman I never was.

Baby girls, all of you, I love you. Be the better version of me. There are no greater than you.

So instead of having abortions WOMEN SHOULD NOT SLEEP WITH NIGGAS/ FUCKBOYS THEY DO NOT INTEND TO MARRY!! PERIOD!! (many woman have it as ways of contraceptions WHICH IS WRONG!!)

I understand as women we have needs too but WEAR CONDOMS if your pussy is on fire. We know that niggas out there LIE!! Let them PROVE TO YOU that he truly loves you AND THAT HE WOULD STAY if the condom broke!!!

If these niggas pressure you for sex OR pressure to have UNPROTECTED SEX?? LEEAAAAAVE!!! DO NOT LET THESE NIGGAS CUM IN YOU AND LET YOU DEAL WITH ALL THAT ALONE FOR 20yrs OF YOUR LIFE!!

Do you know how risky a pregnany is?? Do you know you could loose your life through so many complications in pregnancy?? Do you know how many have post natal depression they gotta deal with ON THEIR OWN??

It is important to feel as though you know yourself. Self worth. Know how intelligent you are. Know how beautiful your spirit is. Value your ethnicity, culture and uniqueness.

It took me a while to get there.

I always loved myself even when I thought I doubted a part of me physically or mentally. I was never the type to put myself down and created a big issue with who I am but I didn’t have full understanding of who I was. I think you get that as you get older and experience more things. You grow wiser and with that comes knowledge of self.

Many young women struggle with that. I don’t have a whole lot of well spoken advice to give but give yourself time!

We live in a generation that wants everything figured out by the second!! Chill all the way down!!
Trust your inner voice and allow your life experiences guide you through. Trust your journey!!

2016 was a challenging year but it still brought amazing new people and elements in my life.

2017 will be yet another year full of growth. I am excited to enter this new chapter in my life.

I have gone through incredible amounts of changes and transitions this year. My divorce was the messiest of all time, only because I married an abusive bitter person who refused to let go. Be careful who you marry and never tolerate abuse and domestic violence, ever. This made me seriously consider becoming a public speaker and advocate for the things I belive should be share and taught. I should look into that.

This year is also the year I grew into a whole new knowledge of self love and worth. It is important to be in touch with who we are.

A lot of the people I have associated with in the past were people I only messed with because I didn’t are truly special I am. I always loved myself but I didn’t know who I was even though I thought I did at the time. I have now awaken and bonded with my true being. I am whole.

Love, oh love…. I know you read that I mentioned a divorced above. Well, I am engaged now. See, as you grow to love and understand yourself you also learn to identify what is and what isn’t right for yourself. I am happy. I can only wish I met him back in 2006 before I met all these fuckboys in London! We grow and we learn I guess. Here is a drink up for a beautiful and healthy future.

Thank you 2016 for bringing my footwear brand to life! Thanks for all the love, support and protection your year covered me with because the devil was busy trying me this year. However, you continously watched over me. 2016 I thank you.

Many of us women have more worries over having #BabyDaddies than a #Husband let me tell you that having a GREAT HUSBAND is so much more valuable than having baby daddies. Do not “duhh” this comment because you probably have a baby daddy(ies) yet no husband yourself. Not throwing shades at anyone but we have to keep it 💯.
I don’t wanna hear the delusional bitches calling their boyfriends, husbands. Bitch, YOU ARE NOT MARRIED. Deal with your ACTUAL status. If he doesn’t wanna marry you and you are staying with him it’s on you. DO NOT give yourself titles that YOU DO NOT HAVE. It’s insulting to actual MARRIED WOMEN. You are nothing but a BABY MAMA/GIRLFRIEND at whatever years old. Just STFU. Please stay in your lane, thank you.
Yes it is true that it is wise to wait before marriage (something I need to write down lol) but why do we wait to get married and get all choosy and sceptical about marriage YET we have no problem baring all this children without a second blink. We don’t wait. We dont get skeptical. We dont question these men. We have a million different BDs by the time we’re 30. However, we want to talk that talk when it comes to getting married. Not only that but we think we’re smart as shit bringing fake ass points and facts to the conversations/ arguments about marriage??
Yes, it sucks to marry then divorce to eventually re-marry but is it really better to have several baby daddies and no commitments? The stress of single parenthood? Chasing the other party? Whether you want to admit it or not MANY of us had/have post natal depression while these n*ggas go out to the clubs, stay fucking more bitches and we’re here wondering how we got here giving up on school, work, social life etc. Many of you won’t admit it but YOU DID GET MAD when your BD weren’t the father you wanted him to be BUT ALSO THAT HE WASNT THERE FOR YOU… not just the baby BUT YOU TOO. Why? because there are emotions that ONLY YOUR BD can fix. Not your mum. Not your grandmother BUT HIM and you played it like you dont care for the “are you alright baby” that you need when pregnant. The “you did an amazing job” and hug you NEED after hours of labour. Yes, it pisses you off that you spend a year pregnant and he called you a bitch. Beat yo ass. Gave you all type of reputations in these streets BUT he now plays good dad and drops selfies with yall babies IGNORING THE FACT that his neglect could have caused you a miscarriage or whatever. If you really got it bad? He would have blamed the miscarriage on you too!!
Yes, having a husband doesnt guarentee faithfullness. It doesnt exempt you from domestic violence. It doesnt mean you gon be together forever etc etc BUT how is a baby daddy/ baby mama deal better?
Y’all need to MAKE/LET these men LOVE YOU and RESPECT YOU first!!! Y’all need to make these men VALUE THE ENTIRE PROCESS OF LOVE MAKING AND BABY MAKING!! These men NEED to respect y’all and all the magic your body does. If he doesn’t THEN HE GOTTA GO!!! PERIOD!!
No “bad bitch” shit.

No “get this pussy” shit.
Get you a man that will give you all the EMOTIONAL SUPPORT you need!! Double check your standards and values yo. Trust me it took me a while. I’m not perfect. Know better. Be better. Teach better.
PS.: It’s late so typos are everywhere. I cant be bothered to correct them all smh im tired but you get the point.