All participants of the unlawful "U.S. Administration" are hereby ordered to surrender themselves to the Federal Bureau of Investigation or the Army of the United States.

My Fellow Citizens,

In times like these, there's no point in beating
around the bush. Due to the fact that certain parties continually and unlawfully proclaiming themselves to be "the U.S. Administration" are guilty of numerous felonies*, I, Jonathan P. Chance, provisional President of the United States, hereby nominate the following citizens to serve the lawful United States Administration until genuine, manually counted, fair and open elections** are held in our nation:

Vice President - Woody Harrelson

Secretary of Agriculture - Jeremy Rifkin

Secretary of Commerce - Joseph Stieglitz

Secretary of Defense - Colin Powell

Secretary of Education - Arianna Huffington

Secretary of Energy - Denis Hayes

Secretary of Health and Human Services - Bernard Lietaer

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - Jimmy Carter

Secretary of Labor - Kathleen Whyte

Secretary of State - Barbara Lee

Secretary of the Interior - Winona LaDuke

Secretary of the Treasury - Ron Paul

Secretary of Transportation - Paul Wellstone

Secretary of Veterans Affairs - John McCain

Attorney General - Ralph Nader

Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission - Jim Hightower

Chairman of the Federal Election Commission - Ronnie Dugger

Director of the Defense Intelligence Agency - Thomas Wilson

Director of the Drug Enforcement Agency - Brad Pitt

Director of the Environmental Protection Agency - Amory Lovins

Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation - Mike Ruppert

Director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency - Jesse Ventura

Director of the National Security Agency - James Bamford

National Security Advisor - Gary Sick

Press Secretary - Gore Vidal

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms - DISSOLVED

Central Intelligence Agency - DISSOLVED

Federal Reserve Corporation - DISSOLVED

Internal Revenue Service - DISSOLVED

NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization) - DISSOLVED

Meanwhile, all participants of the unlawful "U.S.
Administration" are hereby ordered to surrender
themselves to the Federal Bureau of Investigation or the Army of the United States.

* The parties who continually and unlawfully proclaim themselves to be "the U.S. Administration", besides violating the most essential Articles and Amendments of the Constitution, also violate the following Codes,
and thereby do not lawfully represent the citizens of the United States.

Title 18, Chapter 11, Section 201
(Bribery of public officials.)

Title 18, Chapter 11, Section 241
(Conspiracy against rights.)

Title 18, Chapter 13, Section 242
(Deprivation of rights under color of law.)

Title 18, Chapter 19, Section 373
(Solicitation to commit a crime of violence.)