Saturday, 08 February 2003

- Revisionist Party Holds France Hostage -

Revisionists have always been popular amongst those we call the 'French'. It has long been known that they were incapable of linear thought and rational deductive reasoning, up until now we haven't known why.

I have found the answers via tactics that would make James Bond & Ethan Hunt & Xander "xXx" Cage quiver. Through careful planning, I have found source of their indoctrination, the monkey-grail as it were.. the ever sacred and much coveted proof that we're dealing with forces more sinister than ever imagined. Yes, I have found a high school 'French History' book*.

After reading several chapters this blogger's cerebral cortex went on revolt and hasn't been heard from since. As it would be detrimental to the internet to publish too much, I shall simply put up the most damning excerpt from Chapter 6 which is titled "French Relevancy".

We, the Great Nation of France, are the strongest nation in the world. No other nation's men have the upper arm strength to hold their weapons high for as long as we do. No other nation's women have the emotional strength to still love it's men after all of the victories that were deviously stolen from them as ours do. No other Nation has the ability to force it's relevancy onto the world as we do even when the only we can offer to mankind is smugness and the proof that deodorant is a good thing.

We, France, shall never allow another WWII, where Americans with their 'hygiene' and their 'bravery' and their 'heroics' did nothing more than steal a victory that our great leaders were negotiating. Had we prevailed, the world would know that France, and only France, could have ended the war. Instead, it is now believed, WRONGLY, that we simply 'let' Germany march into the Rhineland and take us over. It is said that we could have stopped them. This simply is not true and is nothing more than American propaganda. Had American marched into the Rhineland in our place as it was their duty as an 'ally', none of the horrors that were WWII would have happened.

This can be the only reasons why those C.E.S.M's on the Security council would rather 'extend inspections rather than use force' much like on March 7, 1936 when they chose to 'Be complete idiots rather than fight in the Rhineland'.

- Unfit to Print -

In an effort to boost the economy and get us out of the current recession, local flag makers are asking the President to invade Canada with the intent of full nomination to US Statehood.

When asked how this plan was going to boost the economy, local flag seller Michael Cantilioni had this to say;

"Ya see, After nine one-one, the whole country got its tits twisted over not being American enough and flag sales went through the frikken roof. We Want to bring that back by giving people the opportunity to show their pride for a bigger, stronger USofA."

When asked if this was just an elaborate ploy for the flag selling community, Mr. Cantilioni went into a tirade about the state of American cynicism and tried to sell this reporter an "I love Cantilioni" flag for $19.95

- U.S. Patriot Act II -

Expansion of the Anti-Terrorism Act

The Bush Administration is preparing a bold, comprehensive sequel to the USA Patriot Act passed in the wake of September 11, 2001, which will give the government broad, sweeping new powers to increase domestic intelligence-gathering, surveillance and law enforcement prerogatives, and simultaneously decrease judicial review and public access to information.

Friday, 07 February 2003

- Accomplishments of Ronald Reagan -

Since it has his birthday we'll look back on his accomplishments.

Taxes: Reagan slashed taxes from a 70% top bracket in 1981 to 28% in 1986. That resulted in 20 million jobs being created between 1983 -1989, a doubling of the amount of revenue going into government coffers, and a wave of prosperity that America rode from 1983 until 2001 with only a small pause at the end of the George Bush sr.'s term.

Rebuilding America's Military: If you want to know why America is such a military powerhouse today, then you need look no further than Reagan. Reagan's funding increases and dedication to strengthening our military are what allowed us to be so successful in the Gulf War and beyond.

SDI: Reagan's much derided "Star Wars program" not only helped convince the Soviets that they couldn't compete with America, but the missile defense system we're going to have working (at least in a rudimentary form) possibly as early as 2004, is an outgrowth of the program Reagan promoted.

Defeating The Soviet Union: When Reagan came into office, détente was the policy of the day. Reagan abandoned détente and made no secret of the fact that considered the Soviet Union to be an, "evil empire." Instead of cooperating with the Soviets, Reagan forced them to try to keep up with America's massive military budget when they could barely feed their own people. Eventually Gorbachev, who was an avowed Communist, realized that the Soviets had no hope of keeping up with the US, and he started trying to implement reforms which spiraled out of his control and eventually led to the death of the Soviet Union. Had Reagan never been in office and had the policy of détente continued to the present day, the Soviet Union would probably still exist.

Rebuilding the Republican Party: Just as Babe Ruth "saved" baseball after the, "Black Sox scandal", Ronald Reagan "saved" the Republican party after Nixon. Reagan's incredible popularity (1980: Reagan 489 electoral votes -- Carter 49 & 1984: Reagan 525 electoral votes -- Mondale 13) forever altered the way the public viewed the Republican Party and the way the GOP viewed itself. Had Reagan lost 1980 or 1984, it's doubtful that we'd see the GOP controlling both Congress and the Presidency today.

Thursday, 06 February 2003

- Gray Davis is disaster for California, not Bush!! -

George W. Bush's two years as president have been a disaster for California. Unemployment has reached 6.4 percent, up 36 percent since Bush took office.

And the tax scheme Bush has proposed won't help California families, either.

Here are the facts: 6,969,800 people in California will receive less than $100 under the Bush tax scheme; 4,197,000 will receive no tax cut at all.

Why don't they add in that fact that California is larger then any other state in population, of course their numbers will be higher. Why doesn't the DNC admit their governor is to blame for the problems of California. In my opinion, remember I live in Californa, even with the great travel options and ability to even rent a super car easily this state deserves it for voting an idiot like Gray Davis back into office. Don't blame Bush for the problems in Californa, instead look at your man up there in Sacramento. Why doesn't the DNC factor all the budget cuts we have because of the same idiot they support.

They go so far as to add this in there also:You can learn more about how Bush's budget and his record hurt California families. Download our special report on the State of California under the Bush presidency.

I'm going to write them back and ask for a special report on the state of California under Gray Davis. I'm sure those numbers are so shocking that they have to divert the problem to look as it was Bush's fault.

- We know our true friends in Europe -

Countries across eastern Europe threw their support behind United States policy in Iraq last night, further demolishing Franco-German claims to speak for the continent on the crisis.

Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Bulgaria, Romania, Croatia, Macedonia, and Albania pledged their support to the United States.

Virtually the whole of eastern and central Europe, much of the Balkans, the Mediterranean belt of Italy, Spain, and Portugal, as well as Britain and Denmark, are now firmly in the American camp. The Netherlands held back because it has a caretaker government, but is viewed as a rock-solid ally of the United States. Altogether, 19 European states now back war.

More importantly, when the EU expands eastward next year, those states will represent a majority - 14 out of the 25 members, including four of the "big six" powers.

You see who your real friends are in time of need, France and Germany obviously aren't. I remember bailing France out of World War II & Germany out of the Cold War. I can't wait for them to be in need once again and the Unites States turn our backs on them.

- Monster's Inc; but not Disney -

- Nelson Mandela Who? -

Former South African President Nelson Mandela said Wednesday U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell presentation to the United Nations undermined the U.N.'s own efforts to determine whether Iraq was concealing weapons of mass destruction. Mandela said chief UN weapons inspectors Hans Blix and Mohamed El Baradei were the only ones with the authority to determine whether Iraq was complying with U.N. resolutions. Mandela has repeatedly criticized the United States and Britain, saying they were ignoring the will of the United Nations and pursuing their own belligerent policies against Iraq. He lashed U.S. President George W. Bush, calling him arrogant and shortsighted and saying he wanted a war to get his hands on Iraqi oil.

Maybe he should consider what the U.S. is pledging for Africa before he opens his mouth. The U.S. is giving money, our money, to help fight the AIDS problem in Africa. He's actually going to criticize us? This can only bring up my favorite question of them all: What other country does more more others then the United States? When has South Africa helped in the war on terror? We stand alone and will have to do what is best for the United States since we seem to have so few on our side, thanks Britain.

Tuesday, 04 February 2003

- California's #1 Export -

In an Effort to raise funds to fight his bad publicity over the growing debt in California, Governor Gray Davis has come up with a scheme that no one thought possible before.

Davis has started to export the worst of the Liberal Left Coast out of the Berkeley area and into the areas previously thought uninhabitable for those that are becoming more and more resilient everyday, Hippies.

Austin Texas is well known to have suffered from this and it looks like many of those "Evil Liberal Latte Elitists" could be coming to a neighborhood near you.

- I'll Tell Ya Why -

A Loyal Citizen of the Empire Mitchell asks Emperor Misha I why this Story isn't getting more play. I've managed to get ahold of a tape from a secret UN Meeting which explains it all. Enjoy.

--- Roll Tape ---

[Unknown Voice]- "..is this on.. no? we better not be recording this.. ok good. So, who's paying for the hookers?.. oh.. it IS on? hm.. we can erase that.. right? ok good."

[Ariel Sharon]- "We have found a defector."

[Reporter]- "Uh.. we're with CNN, we're not really equipped to deal with that, go talk to Mr. Fair and Balanced over there."

[Ariel Sharon]- "We have found a defector."

[Reporter]- "Okay.. yeah. Hide here."

[Ariel Sharon]- "I am not here to hide in that desk. We must tell the world what we know, a bit at a time as to let it sink in to the UN. I can offer much information to the UN and it's time they know everything they've been avoiding. We know where a ton of the weapons are."

[Reporter]- 'Yeah, see, that's not really news just yet. Unless you have pictures of those cute little monkeys that fell last week of course... Do you have those? No? hmm. Okay, go talk to that Blistex guy over there."

[Ariel Sharon]- "Dammit! You people never listen! First I have to deal with Arafat with nothing but whining from you and now this! I have a defector in my custody who knows everything I tell you! He wishes to tell everything he knows! Listen to me dammit! We can offer much information."

[Hans Blix]- "Come with me then, we've been waiting for you. We knew somebody would come forward. Saddam will now surely know that he it's 5 minutes until midnight and midnight is the time he must worry about."

[Ariel Sharon]- "Wasn't his curfew up at 6pm?"

[Hans Blix]- "Details Details.."

[Jacques Chirac]- "None of you are as smart or great as me. Viva la France!"

[Hans Blix]- "Monsieur Chriac, we have found the 'Smoking Gun' that we said didn't exist, what should we do?"

[Jacques Chirac]- "Dear Me, do not let the Americans know, they might want to go to war or something and my diplomacy won't be allowed to hide all the evidence of my supporting Iraq's WMD build-up... err.. I mean, I won't be able to save the world for Cheese Eater's everywhere."

*Bush Enters the Room*

[Hans Blix]- "uh oh.. Bush is here. Who invited him? Quick, get Sharon into that closet, we can't let him find him! What? No! I don't care if this is his Country!"

[Jacques Chirac]- "Psst.. don't validate his parking."

[Bush]- "Where is the resolution, surely you have a new one. Ariel called me and told me he was coming, I know he's here and I know what he's told you. It is a great day for Democracy and for the World. Today is the day that we finally show Saddam that the games are over and today we show the world that it's time to act."

[Jacques Chirac]- "We have no idea what it is you might be talking about Mr. Cowboy."

[Ariel Sharon]- "Help me, they won't let me come out of the closet."

*Chirac kicks the closet door*

[Ariel Sharon]- "oowwww"

[Jacques Chirac]- "Shut up in there."

[Bush]- "Clearly, we must, as a unified World unite and vanquish the evil that is Saddam. Show me the new resolution, there is no reason we should wait for Powell to talk here when we know what is what now."

[Jacques Chirac]- "Saddam is not too bad you evil little Nazi, what would you have us do? Go to war? Ha!! It is always War with you and never anything else. We have no proof that there are WMDs in Iraq you evil warmonger."

[Bush]- "Please, don't make me go all John Wayne on your asses."

[Unknown Voice]- "Sir, Mr. Chirac, the hookers are here, want me to tell them to wait outside like usual?"

[Jacques Chirac]- "No No, we will see them now, we have no other matters before us. Show Mr. Bush out and if Mr. Blair calls again tell him I'm busy per usual."

- Gadhafi offers to mediate -

"Libyan dictator Col. Moammar Gadhafi has offered to mediate between President Bush and Iraqi President Saddam Hussein to avoid what he thinks would be an irrational war. "

In January 2001, an international court found a Libyan intelligence officer responsible for the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, which killed 270 people.

In March 1986, Abu Nidal terrorists, at the behest of Gadhafi, bombed a discotheque in Berlin. The attack killed 27 people, including several American servicemen. The United States responded with air strikes on Tripoli.

We should trust and want to listen to this individual. It's bad enough that the U.N. gave Libya such a high position. It's an outrage if the U.S. give an consideration to this, which I doubt they will.

- Missing in Modesto, My Take -

Laci Rocha Peterson, 27, disappeared on Christmas Eve from her home in Modesto, Calif.

Scott Peterson, her husband, is still in the news. As I waited for the news story to go away I decided to give my in depth analysis of the case and the investigation. I shall begin now:

I don't give a fuck that she's missing. Shit happens. She's not worth any more airtime than any other missing person.

It's not that I'm insensitive or anything (though that certainly is true), it's just that according to the DOJ there were 35,142 missing persons of some sort or other in California in 2001 alone. I don't need one case showing up on my TeeVee for 2 months. Next story, I really don't care. I wish her family the best and I hope she's all right but come the hell on.