The Kardashian Family’s Uber-Photoshopped Christmas Card Is A Metaphor For Their Entire Existence

At some point today, Khloe Kardashian will “stop by” The Ellen Degeneres Show once more in a futile effort to convince us that her family is a real family and not a market-tested grouping of people designed to sell you things a la The Joneses. You can see a preview clip of the segment here.

As usual, Khloe comes off like the least terrible one, even getting in a joke at Scott Disick‘s (and maybe Kourtney‘s?) expense. I, too, find it humorous that Disick has not yet left his wife and kids, changed his name to Patrick Bateman, and started eating people! But she also reveals a detail that speaks volumes about the Kardashian family’s alleged values of “family” and ”togetherness,” as expressed via their relentless Khristmas kards.

When Ellen asks if the whole family always gets together for the photoshoots, Khloe says no, mentioning that Lamar was ‘shopped in for 2011′s card (not like you could tell, what with how ‘shopped everyone in it is) and Lamar, Khloe, Kendall and Scott are all ‘shopped into the yet-to-be-revealed 2012 photo. “We pretend that we’re always together…the power of cameras and Photoshop,” she giggles.

Is this, or is this not, a perfect metaphor for the Kardashian Klan’s whole existence? “Family values” are not real values to them, but a branding device designed to push product. I mean, isn’t the whole point of a group Christmas card to feel good about your family’s ability to push all your simmering resentments aside for long enough to put on dorky matching sweaters and pose for a picture together? But the Kardashians do things for publicity, not fun, so it doesn’t matter if they’re all together or not. Try not to die from this earth-shattering revelation.