Entries in cakespy mischief
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Right here, right now, I'd like to give you permission to Cadbury Creme-ify your salad.

Easter is coming, and Spring makes everyone excited about fresh produce. Well, you can share your excitement about vegetables, while not actually consuming any, with this totally sweet salad. Green tinted coconut acts as a bed upon which "tomatoes" of red candy, "olives" of black jelly beans, and a drizzle of chocolate as "vinaigrette". Since the signature aspect of the Niçoise salad is hard boiled egg, this indulgent version is topped with slivers of Cadbury Creme Egg.

If anyone asks why it doesn't have tuna, well, I don't really like it on salad, so there you go.

Just don't eat too much, because you don't want to ruin your appetite for dessert!

Here's how you do it.

Cadbury Creme Salade Niçoise

Makes 1

Approximately 1/2 cup coconut, tinted green (I used wide flakes)

3-4 red hard candies

6-8 black jelly beans

One Cadbury Creme Egg

Melted chocolate, for drizzling

Procedure

Place the Creme Egg in the fridge for about 15 minutes. This will firm it up for when you cut it.

Meanwhile, place the green tinted coconut on an appropriately sized plate.

Place the red candies and jelly beans in regular intervals over the top of the "lettuce".

Once the Creme Egg has chilled, slice it into 4-5 coins and place them on the salad.

Happy Easter!

I've always wondered about this, and maybe you have, too: can you ship an ice cream cone in the mail?

The obvious answer is no. Ice cream melts quickly, is highly perishable, and would likely arrive as a puddle. When regular carton ice cream is shipped, it's packed all crazy in dry ice, a shipping method which isn't quite as accessible as popping a stamp and dropping an envelope in a box.

But still. I wanted to know...how would an ice cream cone arrive?

So, in the name of science, I decided to do a little shipping experiment.

I shipped myself an ice cream cone in the mail.

First, I assembled materials: I printed a shipping label (I shipped to myself), got a padded envelope and airtight bag, and got in the car.

Next, I went to the closest ice cream shop, which happened to be Baskin-Robbins, where I picked up a scoop of mint chocolate chip. With sprinkles, because, well, rainbows!

This cone never saw what was coming.

Then, I performed the following steps, which you can see in photo form: I packed the cone in the airtight bag, gently forcing excess air out, and sealed it. I folded it over and put the cone in the envelope, which I then sealed. I approached the mailbox with trepidation. Would this work? The package felt cold in my hand.

The very next day (which is impressive because as odd as it sounds, in Santa Fe the mail goes to Albuquerque to be sorted then comes back) I had a special arrival. It still felt cold, but I think this was just because it was a cold day. The envelope felt pretty much the same, if a bit thinner.

When I opened it up, here is what I found:

Ice cream cone massacre!

Although actually, that having been said, it wasn't as bad as I had feared. I had feared a lightly green dripping mess arriving in a soggy envelope. This was actually pretty tame, and the cone held its shape way better than I would have thought.

After considering it for a few moments, I put the entire bag in the freezer, aligned just so, so that the ice cream could pool in one portion of the bag and re-solidify.

At this particular moment, it's still in the freezer, and I'm pondering eating it. I know it got warm then cold again, but I am alarmingly not scared of bacteria, eating cookie dough willy-nilly and cake batter with a vengeance, and I haven't died yet.

Would you eat this ice cream cone after it had been mailed?

I have alarming news about the world: it is overrun with locally produced, artisan desserts. It's a frightening time to be alive, when where bearing a Twinkie or Snowball in your hand is viewed almost as disdainfully as smoking a cigarette in front of an elementary school.

Why is it so terrible to take deep pleasure in sub-standard, commerically produced desserts? After all, life is short, and we have the right to derive pleasure both from high quality, lovingly baked desserts, as well as the ones that don't have any benefit but our gratification.

What follows is not just a series of commandments about guilty pleasure desserts, but an ode to their very essence! Follow these commandments for a life filled with guilty yet pleasurable sugary bliss.

Thou shalt not be local

A guilty pleasure shouldn't be a locally made food, unless you happen to live down the block from the Pop-Tart factory (in which case, I've been meaning to ask, can I move in with you?)

Thou shalt not be organic

If it has the word "organic" on it, be immediately suspicious of its guilty pleasure capacity. I've never in my life seen a package of Goetze's bullseye caramels labeled "organic"...have you?

Thou shalt not bear the word "artisan"

"Artisan" is a sure fire sign of quality that is not in the sphere of guilty pleasuredom. It is not a common attribute of a guilty pleaure dessert.

Thou shalt be pre-packaged

If a dessert item is in plastic packaging, this is a very good sign. I am not talking about plastic wrap here, but the kind of plastic cello packaging that is sealed by machines. All the better if units are individually packaged and then put in a common box, such as Little Debbie brownies.

Thou shalt possess a list of ingredients totaling one mile long

If you are in doubt about whether or not a food can be considered a guilty pleasure, take a look at the ingredient list. If it is short and you can pronounce every single word on it, immediately put it back on the shelf and keep looking. Your guilty pleasure item should contain an impressive list of ingredients, most of which you do not recognize and/or cannot pronounce.

Thou shalt not be classified as health food, ever

If anything about a dessert item smacks of health food, give it a wide berth. I'll be the first to admit that there are exceptions: Little Debbie's oatmeal creme pies might sound fairly virtuous, and I suppose the orange content in creamsicles could lull you into a sense of health security.

Thou shalt not possess colors readily found in nature

We eat with our eyes first, so guilty pleasure desserts benefit from a healthy dose of color. But watch out: if the color looks suspiciously like one found in nature, it might not actually be a guilty pleasure. If it has a palette which vaguely resembles the colors of a Lisa Frank trapper keeper, you're in business.

Thou shalt not cost an arm and a leg

Have you ever anyone saying "these $4.25 a pop cupcakes made with all local organic ingredients are my guilty pleasure"? No. Twinkies are a guilty pleasure, and if you shop right, you can get two whole boxes for that price.

Thou shalt not possess nutritional benefits

What kind of nutritional benefits should a guilty pleasure dessert have? It should have zero. I firmly believe that the primary benefit of a guilty pleasure dessert is on a mental level and you shouldn't sully it with physical benefits. Or, put it this way: nobody in the history of ever has eaten Snowballs because coconut is high in manganese.

Thou shalt feel right at home in a child's school lunchbox

Here's a good test for whether a dessert classifies as a guilty pleasure or not. Would a six year old kid be psyched to find it in their lunch box? If so, you may have a guilty pleasure dessert on your hands.

What is your governing law of what constitutes a guilty pleasure? Leave a comment!

Usually, my experiments involve making things more rich, more sweet, more indulgent. But this time, I was actually tempted to make something more virtuous. Maybe I'm maturing, after all. (or maybe not)

To set the scene for you: I was making some tasty apple cider doughnuts for my most recent Craftsy entry. Gosh are these things good. To make them even more apple cider-y, I made a glaze that had apple cider in it, too. They really came out splendidly.

But I wondered, as I was cutting out the doughnuts for the third or fourth batch of frying three at a time, "what would happen if I baked these puppies?" so I decided to give it a try. I set the oven to a temperate 350, placed some pre-cut doughnuts on a baking sheet, and popped it in the oven.

I let them bake for about 20 minutes. And when I took them out, here's what I found:

To give more of a comparison, here's a side by side with a baked and a fried doughnut. Same exact dough, two distinctly different end results.

So how do they stack up, flavor-wise?

Short answer? They taste good. But in terms of a comparison? That is tougher, because they are more different than you'd think, based on the fact that the only difference is the cooking method, and I used a flavorless vegetable oil. Here's a picture which features a few variations: top, a fried and glazed doughnut, then going clockwise, a fried doughnut unglazed, then a baked and glazed doughnut.

The baked doughnuts are tasty, but if you did a blind test, you'd never even guess they're a doughnut. They kind of have the texture of a Starbucks scone--you know what I mean when I say that, don't you? Sort of like a slightly coarse, sweet bread? Pleasant enough, and they tasted like they'd be great with cream and jam, or lightly buttered. But they weren't as much of a stand-alone indulgence as the fried doughnuts. They were more like lightly sweet apple biscuits.

Once I added the apple cider glaze, however, they were more of a stand-alone treat. If you're looking for a healthier way to enjoy doughnuts, you might want to give it a try. They don't taste exactly like a doughnut, so I won't make that claim, but they don't taste like suffering.

As a final observation, the baked version seemed to keep better (especially when glazed). You know how a fried doughnut that is more than a few hours old just starts to taste sad? That didn't happen with the baked version--they maintained their flavor for at least a couple of days at room temperature, whereas the fried ones had to be frozen to keep well.

If you'd like to see the doughnut recipe and try baking them for yourself, visit Craftsy. But instead of frying the doughnuts, bake them in a preheated 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes, or until golden. Baked or fried...enjoy!

Cupcakes are totally nutritious! I say this, of course, as someone who makes a living writing about and drawing pictures of cake, so please take that into account if you're listening to me. Oh, and I should probably tell you that in no way, should I or could I be confused for a dietitian. Actually, perhaps I should re-title this post "Why I'll Never, Ever, Ever Be a Dietician"? Because what I'm going to do now is spend the next several inches of your internet telling you exactly why eating cupcakes is a great idea for your health.

You know you love it. Let's go!

You Burn Calories Eating Cupcakes! did you know that you burn 102 calories per hour while you're eating? That's right: eating is exercise! That means that if you manage to eat 10,000 calories of cupcake in one hour sitting, really, you didn't break the 10k mark because you burned 102 just simply by eating. And that doesn't include the calories you burned taking the wrapper off! Whew, I feel like I've exercised merely by thinking about it. Go get me a cupcake!

My kind of egg!

Eggs are a low-cost, high-quality protein. They also have high amounts of something called choline, which is important as an anti-inflammatory, an assistant in maintaining membranes...and, most importantly, maintaining the brain's health. Over 90% of americans are deficient in choline. Clearly, we need to be eating more of it. Cupcakes have eggs. Eggs have choline. Eat more cupcakes!

Sugar gives you energy. Candy makes you feel dandy. That's because it's made of sugar! This is an ingredient that also figures prominently into cake and frosting, the main components of a cupcake. Sugar sends glucose straight to the blood, causing insulin levels to increase while you experience a quick burst of energy. PARTY TIME!

Flour gives you energy, too. It recently came to my attention that eating white flour gives you blood-sugar spikes, just like white sugar. Well, I don't know about you, but when I eat sugar I feel invincible. So it would stand that if I eat flour AND sugar, at once, I'll be double-invincible! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to jump from the window and see if I can fly. Gluten, yeah!

Butter: The world's most reliable source, Men's Health, wisely tells me, "Fat, like that in butter, is necessary in order to help your body absorb many of the healthy nutrients found in vegetables. For instance, without fat, your body can't absorb carotenoids—powerful disease-fighting antioxidants found in colorful vegetables—or fat-soluble vitamins, such as vitamins A, D, E, and K. So go ahead, eat butter, and do it without guilt." How is cake going to be healthy without butter!?

Vanilla: As I learned here,It can reduce stress, help with nasusea, and assist in regulating menstruation. You heard it here: cupcakes as a cure for morning sickness or PMS! What's not to love about this potent vanilla mixture?

Wow! I'm feeling healthier already, aren't you? Although I'm starting to feel the weirdest energy low after spending the last hour eating cupcakes (you know, for excersise). But Although I feel healthier already, I'm also beginning to feel a slight blood sugar downtick. I know exactly how to cure that...another cupcake!

When it comes to Important Worldwide Problems, the issue of leftover pancakes is really not one of them.

But if in your family you have a designated Pancake Maker who doesn't believe in moderation and must make about 48 at a time (that would be SpyDad, in my family), you might occasionally find yourself in an excess pancake situation. The idea of throwing out the extra pancakes is just awful, but then again, sometimes you get tired of just eating them straight.

And for those times, I have designed several fun uses for those leftover tasty cakes. And yes, in advance, I am very proud of myself.

Pancake French Toast: Taking a cue from leftover toast, make some pancakes perdu! Following the same steps you would use to make French Toast, get your griddle nice and toasty and fry up some egg-and-sugar-and-milk coated 'cakes for a tasty and decadent morning treat.

See? Easy.

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Doughnut Fake-Out: Nope. Those aren't doughnuts. They're Faux-nuts! Simply pop out the center of a pancake (use an apple corer for a perfect circle, or just hack it out like I did with a knife) and frost it in your favorite doughnut icing colors. Easy, sweet, and fun!

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Petite Pancake Layer Cake: Now, to say that I am proud of this mini cake would be a vast understatement. I kind of think I'm a genius. All you have to do is layer pancakes with frosting, and you've got yourself what could pass as a gourmet torte (or at least a mini Smith Island Cake!). Since I believe in moderation, I made mine 6 layers, but seriously, the sky's the limit.

Look, here I even put a macaron on top to show you the full scope of its mini adorableness!

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Pancake Black and White Cookie: While frosting that pancake torte, I realized that these pancakes were the perfect palette to create mini black and white cookies. So I whipped up some vanilla and chocolate frosting (a recipe can be found here, if you look for the icing) and made some black and whites. This was a no-brainer--I mean, these drop cakes are already practically pancakes. The texture is a little different, but they're pleasantly passable.

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Pancake Mini Dessert Tacos: Inspired by the choco taco, this totally sweet treat is a pleasure to make and a pleasure to eat. Wow friends with your total cleverness as you bend the pancake gently to mold to a taco shape, fill it with a little chocolate ice cream (I used Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream, in the Roxbury Road flavor--jealous?), and top it with some tinted coconut. If desired, add some easter candy to really bring the seasonal aspect home.

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Of course, you don't have to stop here. There are so many things that you could do with leftover pancakes. Make them into pancake fries (like these pie fries!). Sandwich frosting in between two for a delicious snack! Crush them and mix them with frosting instead of cake, for pancake pops! Mash em with ice cream in your blender for a Pancake Shake! Use them as your carbohydrate base for bread pudding! Seriously, the world is your pancake oyster. Live your leftover pancake life deliciously!

Cake always tastes delicious. That's a fact and nobody can take that away from you.

But here's a question that, once it occurred to me, made me pause to ponder: does the same cake taste different depending on the time of day and your state of mind? Obviously, there was only one way to find out: I had to make myself a cake-eating guinea pig in this important experiment.

So I made up a batch of cake--cupcakes, in fact. Vanilla with chocolate frosting. Actually, it was the cupcake version of my birthday cake from last year. So I know it's a cake I like. I put several in the freezer so they wouldn't go stale, and then rationed them out to myself over the next several days, experimenting with how the cake would taste at various times of day and centered around different activities.

Oh, the things I do for science! Here's how it went.

Wake n Cake: Cake eaten directly after waking up. That's right. I had the cake at the ready, so that when I woke up, I literally turned over to my night table, grabbed the plate of cake, and dug in (what I do for the sake of research!). Believe it or not, it isn't the first time I've done something like this, but it is the first time I tasted mindfully and really observed the experience. I still had morning breath and felt sleep-fuzzy, and the cake almost seemed like an interloper in my sleep world. My taste buds rejected it at first as foreign, odd. But the more I ate, the cake taste coated my mouth and I tasted sweet, not sleep. Not a bad way to wake up the taste buds, but I think I'll wait at least 10 minutes in the future before going for the cake.

Cake Interrupted: Cake while eating TV. It basically went like this: I'm eating, I'm eating, it's sweet, and then it's gone. Wait, how did that happen? I realized that while the cake tasted good, I barely registered the experience. I felt like I'd had just a bite or two, and I wanted more. I can see why eating in front of the TV is not good for you--you don't eat mindfully at all!

Cake OM: cake after yoga class. This was probably the best cake of all. I felt like my senses had been awakened by stretching my body, and walking outside into the brisk coldness and walking two blocks home, I felt invigorated. Still in that zen state of mind, I ate quietly, slowly, and mindfully. I tasted every bite, and every bite tasted like a sweet reward. I highly suggest eating cake after yoga or exercise.

Virtuous cake: cake eaten after salad. Have you ever eaten a slice of cake directly after eating a salad? It's weird, man. You've got the natural sweetness of the salad ingredients--the crispy lettuce, carrots, etc. And the tartness of the vinaigrette. Then you have a slice of cake, and it just tastes weird and sour for a few bites. Luckily, after the initial few bites my taste buds were acquainted with the cake, and I found it an enjoyable experience. But the first few bites were really not that enjoyable.

Naughty cake: cake eaten post cheeseburger. I'm told that eating a fat slice of cake after eating a nice fat burger is not so good for you, healthwise. But I'm here to make an argument for its nourishment of the soul. The gorgeous contrast of the soft sweetness of the cake following the savory salty unctuousness of the burger is an absolute thing of beauty. It felt like yin and yang. I craved ice cream with the cake, or to have the cake slightly chilled for even more of a cooling, sweet contrast, but the room temperature cake seemed to do just fine. Verdict: Thumbs up.

Cake Walk: cake eaten while walking around the block. Eating and walking is an interesting experience. For me, it is a mixed bag. It's enjoyable because I like the feeling of eating outside--the air on your skin, even cold, stimulates my taste. But eating a slice of cake (a strange food to be eating while walking) made me self conscious, and I think this took away from tasting because I was concerned about people looking at me. Verdict: thumb halfway.

Cake Dreams: Cake eaten right before bed. Do sweet foods give you sweet dreams? Well, I thought they might at first, because eating cake at night in bed is AWESOME. Not so awesome, however, is a half hour later when you're trying to sleep and find yourself all sugar-fired-up and ready to like, dance the macarena or something. Of course, I am not a big late-night eater, so this made me uncomfortable and too energized before bed.

Not so long ago, I received an email from a place called Chococoa Baking Company, asking if I'd sample their whoopie pies.

Turns out this retail bakery (with an online and wholesale division) has made quite a name for itself in the North Shore of the greater Boston area, where they've been churning out what they call "the Whoopie"--a mini (3 bite-ish) version of the popular treat that is "A smaller, richer, triple chocolate version of the childhood treat."

Co-owners Alan and Julie have some eclectic inspiration. For Alan, this is the realization of a lifelong dream to develop a snack food. He thanks his two heroes: first his mother, and then...former Federal Reserve Chairman, Alan Greenspan. Of course. As he explains it, "My mother was a great baker and always trying new recipes." As for Mr. Greenspan? He said that you do not need to develop a new product but rather improve an existing one. Nice.

Julie, Chococoa's co-owner, is a Maine native who grew up making whoopie pies with her grandmother and mother; she felt that the classic treat could benefit from a makeover, too.

Sure, I said, and they sent me a sample. But I don't know if they were aware of what exactly awaited their sweet treats when I received them. Because, you see, I like to get to know baked goods before I sample them. So, I unwrapped them and had way more fun with them than I ought to have.

First, I showed one my hamburger phone.

HAMBURGER PHONE!

I showed a few my book. They made appropriate cooing sounds of approval.

I gave some a healthy snack.

I safely wrapped a few and took them for a walk.

I took them to an 18th Century Garden. Bet you're wondering how I knew it was an 18th Century Garden.

I showed them statues.

I showed them historical landmarks.

Back home, I introduced one to a naked baby.

One enjoyed a conversation with a cupcake.

I shared with them some of my artwork.

I showed them my unicorn collection:

They were so happy.

and then I ate them.

Wow, you're thinking, when did this turn into a Whoopie Pie snuff film? No, people. They're just whoopie pies. They're meant to be consumed.

And for sure, these ones were rather tasty. In the parcel, as you've noticed in the pictures, there were several different flavors of filling. I tried ones filled with vanilla cream, salted caramel cream, raspberry cream, and chocolate ganache.

What's clear is that these are a step above your typical ubiquitous whoopie pie, quality-wise--the fillings are on par with the frostings at a high end cupcake shop, and the cake is quite nicely made--very chocolatey, and not crumbly or devoid of flavor like so many whoopie pies can be, in my opinion.

I vote that they are a highly satisfying treat. And proof that sometimes it's great to take some childlike joy in your food, and play with it!

Buy your own whoopie pies to mess with! If you're in Newburyport, visit 50 Water Street, where they have a retail location; or, order online. Here's their website.

Oreos are not good--they are great. But even while I'm sure you're highly qualified to appreciate their greatness, there may in fact be some uses for these sweetwiches that you've never considered. Ponder these ideas, preferably while savoring an Oreo in whatever way you prefer to eat yours. Marvel at how a treat you know so well now has so many new ways to be loved! Count your blessings that we live in a world where Oreos are plentiful.

It's called Good & Evil, and it's a bar with a serious pedigree: it was designed by big names such as Eric Ripert, Tony Bourdain and Christopher Curtin of Éclat Chocolate. As I was informed, the bar is "made from extremely rare Peruvian cacao beans and studded with nibs, will make its official debut at the New York Chocolate Show on Friday, November 9."

Would I like a sample? Heck yes. I want to know what an $18 chocolate bar tastes like!

But while I waited for the bar to arrive, I had a good few days to fantasize about a world in which chocolate bars are $18. What else would happen in such a world, I wondered? Well, I was pretty sure that in this brave new world...

Or maybe...just maybe...a world in which there are $18 bars of chocolate is an opportunity to make the most motherfluffin' amazing s'more of your life.

Which is exactly what I did when I received the sample. Since this was a fancy s'more, I decided to use some of my leftover Walkers shortbread. A chocolate like this was worthy of something more delicious and fancier than a commercial graham cracker, in my opinion. But the marshmallows...I just used regular jet-puffed ones. Don't judge me.

You guys. It is possible that this was the best s'more ever made in the history of the world. It was buttery and expensive and sweet, all at once. The cheap marshmallows made it a sort of "silver spoon and paper plate" type of experience.

I don't think I can ever eat a "regular" s'more ever again. Gosh, is this like flying first class--you can never go back to coach, comfortably?

Oh, I'm kidding. The chocolate is very, very good--but I'll be honest, I don't know if I ever would have tried it if it hadn't been offered. But I sure enjoyed it once they did offer it to me.

It was a rather nice way to taste the "sweet life". Want a taste? It's available for $18 on eclatchocolate.com if you are curious.