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Getting Things Green

Greetings all, Steve here to make your life a little greener. Well, today was the day of Al Gore's Live Earth concerts, as you may have heard, if you have ears. The idea behind the concert series was to get about 150 of the best musical acts in the world together to raise awareness about the need to reverse climate change. It seemed a little sketchy, but as I was watching it I thought, "Hey. If Spinal Tap can do, anybody can do it!" My thoughts often have exclamation marks.

Anyway, the Live Earth concert series was based on the solid, time-tested premise that there is no problem that can't be solved with a three minute pop song. Now don't get me wrong: I saw An Inconvenient Truth and I thought Gore was right on the money and, surprisingly, pretty entertaining, though to be fair he had one of those hydraulic lifty-thingies. Al Gore historically hasn't been known as a real exciting fellow, but he seems to have found his passion and he managed to make melting ice quite riveting.

It's just that I'm always a little doubtful of things that are supposed to raise awareness, as I think they often don't do very much except make everybody feel good for a little while. Still, party-hearty Al had gone to the trouble to pull this fine event together, so I figured the least I could do was watch. In any event, I've been getting increasingly more concerned about Climate Change since I had to erect a dike in the living room.

I liked a lot of the bands and I found myself really hoping that the message was getting across, when I saw the legendary heavy metal group Spinal Tap come out to sing their new song "Warmer Than Hell." Now that's entertaining. And I figure, hey, any cause that'll bring together Al Gore and Spinal Tap is worth a second look.

I did some research and it turns out that we're killing the polar bears, which is too bad. As a matter of fact, we're killing ourselves too. It's all detailed in an easy to understand manual of simple things we can all do to make a difference, called Take The Bus Or We're All Gonna Die! No, wait, that's what it should have been called. It's actually called The Live Earth Global Warming Survival Handbook: 77 Essential Skills To Stop Climate Change. It's not as catchy a title, but it has everything you need to help reverse climate change. This may not seem like a big deal, but just ask the people in the Southern States, if you can find any who aren't passed out from heat stroke.

It turns out there are a few simple everyday things we can all do around the office to make a difference. If anyone feels the need for a slogan, I might suggest Getting Things Green. First, switch all the light bulbs to the non-polar bear killing kind. Second, pack a crossbow and enjoy the adventure that is public transit. Third, (do I even need to say?) recycled paper for the planners guys. Finally, turn off your computer monitor when you leave the room and if you see that someone's monitor has been left on, string a big banner across their cubicle that says, "Bob Simpson hates Polar Bears!" Not only will this help to reverse climate change, but it's certain to make you popular around the office.

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I am not sure how many will remember 'Band Aid' and its various spin-off's. Of course I have a much better solution. We force a group of famous heavy rock musicians to do good deeds for the community. Alice Cooper can drive the bus; I see him now helping old ladies, and bite the heads off naught school boys... Ozzy Osborne can lecture on the dangers of caffeine abuse and Al Gore will make a wonderful meal for a starving polar bear. :D

They often do do that, but usually only when the rock musicians in question have gotten high and driven into free-standing objects:P

Yeah, I agree that these big charity concerts often don't have much lasting effect (Tibet, after all, still ain't free), but I think this one was useful, in that it's major goal was simply to get the word out. We can all do more, certainly. Turning off a few lights and using recycled paper likely won't prove to be fatal.

From what i remember Band Aid did much to help and raise awareness. A lot of good was done. Wveryone does what they can in their own way. I was inspired to send along my award and scholarship money when i was 14. When the Canadian journalist who broke the story on Ethopia went back he was encouraged to see that for once world intervention did make a difference.

Optimists may be funny, but we live longer, happier lives. It's true. (-:

Yeah, Band Aid certainly did a lot of good. I just think that sometimes these things take a simple approach to a rediculously complex subject. I think that the Live Earth concerts were a very good move, though, because it really is about getting the word out. I'm certainly willing to do my part. I live in Vancouver. If we don't control global warming, I'm going to have kelp in my underwear drawer:S

I am reserving judgment on so-called "Climate Change" until A) there is much better science (i.e. I am very skeptical of somebody in a $4,000 suit telling me about average temps and CO2 levels from 400,000 years ago)and B)the climate change evangelists stop jaunting around the world in private jets and limousines. Perhaps when Al "I invented the internets" Gore and Teddy "I didn't know she was back there" Kennedy allow windmill farms to be built off the coast of Cape Cod (where only a handful of Americans can see them), I'll be a little more interested. For now, however, there is just too much money and hyperbole flying around.

BTW: did Spinal Tap play "Stinkin' Up the Great Outdoors"?
Yah, I'm old.

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