Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic and Argentine footballer Lionel Messi are among the sports stars named on Time magazine’s “The 100 Most Influential People In The World” for 2012, listed alongside such world-shapers as Burmese President U Thein Sein, public health statistician Hans Rosling and the red-haired lady who isn’t Emma Stone from The Help.

Of course, no list of ANYTHING written in 2012 can be compiled without including New York Jets quarterback/Easter Bunny Tim Tebow, and because the list was probably put together in February it also includes Jeremy Lin. Remember when Jeremy Lin was a thing?

Lin had his entry written by Arne Duncan, the U.S. Secretary of Education (it’s just “Jeremy Lin likes to WIN”, you don’t need to read it). Tebow, oddly enough, had his entry written by Jeremy Lin.

Here’s Lin’s work, with an introductory paragraph that establishes themes and makes you wish he’d chosen to be an English major.

Watching Tim Tebow play football, you can observe many things about his character. You see his fierce competitiveness, his strong work ethic and how he is a leader that his teammates trust and respect.

But it is the qualities that Tim, 24, embodies in his life off the field that truly set him apart. He is unashamed of his convictions and faith, and he lives a life that consistently reflects his values, day in and day out. Through his foundation, he constantly reaches out to people and communities in need of hope. He realizes what he has been blessed with and seeks to help those who are worse off. As athletes, we pour our hearts into winning games. Tim is a reminder that life is about much more than that.

I also would’ve accepted, “Tim is a reminder that life begins at conception”.

You can check out the rest of the list here, but try not to facepalm and turn off your computer when you get to Chelsea Handler.