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10 Months, growing and mourning

These days I have come to the point where I feel it is within me to actually take control of my finances. And therewith the feeling of stupidity and guilt towards my mom disappears which directly makes place for grieve. I miss her.

I am happy that I quit in a way that I now deeply understand the necessity of it. 10 Months ago today was day 1 :-). That was exhilarating, scary, overwhelming and I was so happy that I had quit. Still am. 🙂

I want: this grieving to fall into place.

I need: to sleep most likely

I take: chocolate

3 Things: Ha! I just paid a bill which was due, 3 minutes before midnight. 😀 Yes, yes, does not sound like control but at least I did it. The piece of art of the video above exactly showing the darkness of my road. My cat, who has been trying to get my attention the whole evening. 🙂

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6 thoughts on “10 Months, growing and mourning”

“And therewith the feeling of stupidity and guilt towards my mom disappears which directly makes place for grieve. I miss her.” And therein lies the clue feeling. All of this other stuff stops you from thinking about your mum – a maladaptive coping strategy (just like booze was for me too). This is a huge insight and you are right about your want 🙂 10 months – go you!! xx