Talk:1993

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Contents

Darth Vader sends his battlion of Union Space Marines to attack J. Edgar Hoover's Confederate moon base in the last great battle of the American Civil War, only to be repelled by the Director's well-trained bovine forces. The South would hold control of the moon until ceding control of it in the Treaty of Flanders, as opposed to facing utter annihilation at the hands of Pink Floyd in 4242.

January 20 - Slick Willy becomes president by 40% of the national vote, to help get rid of the "worst national economy in 50 years". George H.W. Bush prepares his son, "Dubya" to take the throne...he's still up to his dirty tricks.

The U.S. economy starts to grow, but Clinton is under attack by a little-known radio talk commentator named Rush Limbaugh, and he incites the Waco Davidian compound standoff, because of President Clinton's "jack-booted thugs".

John Howards bushy eye brows become a front Page article.

MC Hammer is flat ass broke, can't sell a hit and no one remembers him.

Record floods on the Mrs. Ippy river destroy millions of acres, hectares, furlongs, rods, and cubits of Midwestern farmland. Hundreds of houses are swept away, the flood does $4 million worth of improvements in the commonwealth of Kentuckistan and the state Arkansas, Bill Clinton visits these places and nearly made these states "blue" in the 1996 presidential elections.

I am turning Japanese panic, Japan's economy worst than ours and they are SOOOOOO "competitive", they are breaking down!

June was originally called Dyke but was renamed June after term "dyke" was used more often for the meaning of lesbian, some overprotective mother campaigned to change to month of Dyke to be called June, after her pet lizard.

August 12 - The first HDTV prototypes are completed, leaving people wondering what the fuck they're going to do with all those extra pixels.

August 29 - Michael Jackson's 35th birthday and little did he know his surprise gift that year was from the government who decided to reward him by searching him by various methods to get a boy and his family off his back.

September 11 - Clinton offers peace pipes to Israel's PM What's his name and Palestinian terrorist-turned-negotiator Yessir AirfromFatass. PEACE MAN! But not for long, you know how those Jews are...and those A-rabes are.

October 1 - 500th anniversary of Columbus' discovery of America observed by everyone, except Native Americans (obviously) who called him a "mass murderer" of their people.

October 11 - Native Americans riot in Washington D.C., since they wanna be "Niggas" and "La Raza". Puerto Ricans, Black people and poor whites riot in the urban ghettos of America, let's party like it's 1965.

October 16 - President Clinton and the still Democratic majority of the US government outlawed Columbus Day, one reason why they lost the vote the next year from "Angry white men".

October 21 - Day gingers were accepted into society again. Still not official.

Shaq promises in an impromptu press conference at Tom Hanks' third funeral that "the Shaq will never slack", reaffirming his stance on rubbing alcohol, requesting that the people of America pump up their Reeboks and publically admitting his favourite cartoon for the first time (Bullwinkle the Moose). Despite this, he still loses his post as "World's Least Offensive Rapper" to a temporally-displaced Will Smith.