Here in Portland, OR, $200 a week would be on the higher end for daycare , but not really enough to pay a nanny. I think it's a lot to pay a family member (though in certain circumstances, maybe it's appropriate). It doesn't really matter what the payment amount is, however. The OP has the right to have her wishes respected on this matter. It's great that she's willing to compromise, but she's under no obligation to.

this is not a nanny situation. OP drops her DD off at her Mom's house and the mom doesnt take her out of the house or to any kind of activities. maybe childcare is more in CA but here in MO it's about $85-100 a week for that and does not include any kind of "family/friend discount" my x takes ds2 to his sisters house 3 days a week and he pays her $25 a week.

if i was paying someone $200 a week i would expect them to respect my wishes

Actually this is incorrect - the OP states in her first post that her mom and her daughter do go out of the house every day for various activities.
Personally I cannot imagine paying someone just $25 for three full days of childcare - it would feel as if I was taking advantage of a relative or friend for that small sum of money.
I think spending time with a loving, involved grandma is well worth a bit of Sesame Street.

Actually this is incorrect - the OP states in her first post that her mom and her daughter do go out of the house every day for various activities.
Personally I cannot imagine paying someone just $25 for three full days of childcare - it would feel as if I was taking advantage of a relative or friend for that small sum of money.
I think spending time with a loving, involved grandma is well worth a bit of Sesame Street.

could have sworn she said her mom didnt have a car and that her dad takes it to work leaving mom and baby at home all day. this isnt chicago. the median income here is 29k/year but most people i know actually only make around 20k

Thank you everyone for your replies--I really do appreciate them very much, and I appreciate having both perspectives on this issue. The many supportive posts were very helpful to me, so thanks for coming on to give those. It's interesting to see the different opinions on the amount of money I pay my mom; I've always felt it was insufficient (although it is almost half my income, almost a quarter of our overall family income), but it was reassuring to find out that some posters think it's fair. Right now we are looking into classes my mom can take DD to in the cold weather (as I mentioned, it looks like I WILL be able to give my parents a second car), and she has mentioned that she would like to read some research on the TV issue, so I'm confident we will be able to reach a comfortable solution for all parties. Thanks again for the help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sharlla

could have sworn she said her mom didnt have a car and that her dad takes it to work leaving mom and baby at home all day.

Sorry for this confusion. I edited my original post to add a little clarifying paragraph--it is true that she is without a car and they are home all day, but right now in the warm weather they are out and about and have plenty to do. My mom is worried about being stuck inside in the cold weather.

Breastfeeding, cloth diapering, vegetarian, working mama to DD (10/2010) and wife to a wonderful, opinionated DH . We loveand our.