SCHULZ DEFENDS STAFFER’S TRAVEL AGENT ‘HOBBY’:Marine Le Pen and Martin Schulz have been fighting over who wastes more taxpayer resources. The most recent salvo in their war of words came after Le Pen accused the EP president allowing a staffer to run a travel agency out of the European Parliament by making flight bookings for the German Social Democratic Party. But it turns out there’s an explanation for how the travel-agent work got done. “[It was] in his spare time, for free, because it is his hobby,” said Schulz’s spokesman.

Do you have an interesting hobby you’d like to share with Playbook? We’re keen to hear it. Maybe you give your MEPs pedicures… as a hobby! Maybe you spent your 2014 “annual leave” campaigning for your MEP’s re-election. Or maybe you do a Commissioner’s ironing when you are bored because you find it relaxing.

NEW LIMOGATE — DID SCHULZ PASS ON HIS CARS TO PARTY HACKS? Last week we told you about the Parliament’s plan to create an in-house chauffeur service for MEPs, complete with €1,000 uniforms for the drivers. Now opponents of Martin Schulz say he stopped using his using his two European Parliament cars and drivers during the 2014 European elections, when he was a Spitzenkandidat, and made the cars available to SPD grandees, our source says. An aide to Schulz denied the allegation. “We strictly separated election activities from EP business,” the rep said. “And indeed the German SPD or the S&D provided the transportation for any such events. I am not aware of any SPD officials having been in Brussels during the election campaign.”

SPITZENFIBBERS OF THE WEEK: Syed Kamall’s office. With Playbook having revealed the bets MEPs were taking on whether Kamall was for Brexit or for Bremain, Kamall decided to out himself last Friday afternoon as pro-Brexit. Which makes it curious that five minutes before he published his statement his office told Playbook no decision had been taken.

SYED-LINED: Kamall and his acolytes in the Europe of Conservatives and Reformists group have managed to annoy their party colleagues in a major way. The ECR is now led by a Euroskeptic but none of the other national delegations (nor half of the British one) support leaving the EU. The reactions to Kamall’s decision ranged from the polite to the apoplectic. Mark Demesmaeker, the delegation leader of Belgium’s N-VA, told Playbook “We would prefer if they would vote to stay in the EU and help us to reform the EU in a better way. But the choice is theirs.” British Tory MEP Charles Tannock was not so kind: “He will now not be taken seriously by the other political group leaders in the European Parliament, thus weakening his hand to promote our agenda.”

PRINCIPLE OR PRAGMATISM? Kamall’s team insist that their boss’ decision was based on “long-standing principle,” which seems odd given he’s not expressed a wish to leave the EU in the past. Curiouser still, one team member says the final decision was particularly hard because “he was surprised how much Cameron achieved” in the renegotiation. Kamall was therefore obviously making his decision on more than principle. Given the lack of faith Kamall appears to have had in Cameron, observers have been left wondering what seat or Cabinet role Kamall is hoping for in a Boris Johnson-lead Tory party after the referendum.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: Young Werner Faymann and actor Eric Bana

HOLD YOUR FIRE: We hear that European People’s Party Chair Manfred Weber has told potential candidate for European Parliament President Alojz “Lojze” Peterle — a senior EPP MEP and a former Prime Minister of Slovenia — to hold back from campaigning for the top job. According to our source, Weber told Peterle at their meeting last week that they would not deal with “that question” until after the summer break. The suggestion has fueled suspicion within the center-right party that Weber has secretly done a deal with current President Martin Schulz, a socialist, to stay on for a third term, despite the agreement signed at the beginning of the current Parliament to hand the post over to the EPP. “Delaying any EPP candidates from launching their bid would help Schulz in his hyperactive attempts to build up the myth that he is indispensable,” our source said.

SCHULZ’S (NEW) PLAN B: Meanwhile, the buzz in the EPP is that if Schulz found himself jobless at the end of 2016, and the SPD continues to perform poorly (it placed fourth in two of Germany’s three regional elections Sunday), the EP president could find himself with a new gig: as SPD president and/or candidate for chancellor. For now Germany’s Vice Chancellor Sigmar Gabriel is set to keep his lock on both positions. But never underestimate self-interest in politics. Schulz craves the limelight, and politicians love a winner — which Gabriel isn’t proving to be.

CHATEAU DES EU ENFANTS: Tots of the EU elite have a new, grand playground in town. A new European School is opening September on the Château d’Argenteuil site in Waterloo. The sticker price may be a shocker for some at a yearly tuition of €10,000 to €18,000, but lucky for the Eurocrats scholarships are available through the institutions from €6,000 to €9,000.

INFESTATION ALERT: Wherever MEPs stay, the mice will play … The Parliament’s trade unions, best known for their breathless emails about open offices portrayed as sweatshops, may have a point this time. The Parliament is vacating Rue Montoyer 63, known for its mice, leaks, erratic heating and cooling, and general 1970s style. Except now the move is delayed. Cue the union anger.

TRUTH STARTS TO CATCH-UP WITH DONALD TRUMP … This week we learned that Trump-branded products are often “Made in China” (and Bangladesh and Honduras). POLITICO also fact-checked all of Trump’s statements for a week, and it turns out he can’t count. Among five dozen statements deemed mischaracterizations, exaggerations, or simply false, the most common errors were around trade figures and health costs. Health insurance costs are not in fact going up 35-55 percent (it’s more like 5.8 percent on average), for example. Trump’s figures on U.S. trade with China and Japan were off by $134 billion and $62 billion, respectively.

BAD COMMUNICATION AWARD: Playbook received the following message on Tuesday and we’re still trying to figure out what it means: “Please find a joint statement of the Parliament’s Rapporteur and most Shadow Rapporteurs on the Council’s decision to reach a political agreement on DAC4 (concerning CbCR exchange) without consulting the European Parliament.”

CRISIS? WHAT CRISIS? China is begging for imported dairy products from European and other producers, as farmers struggle with low prices at home in Europe. Would you think the solution is a) Exporting excess production or b) blocking Brussels main roads, smashing down the front door to the farmers’ lobbying body and demanding more cash from the EU.

In this week’s podcast Ryan talks to Giorgi Margvelashvili, president of Georgia and doctor of philosophy. Margvelashvili talks about his view about Russian President Vladimir Putin, saying that “what …