Yardwork: King Felix & James Shields Dominate

Yardwork: King Felix & James Shields Dominate

Yardwork: King Felix & James Shields Dominate

James Shields pitched a complete game, three-hit shutout that included 13 Marlin whiffs in the Rays’s 4-1 victory over their interstate rivals. Shields has been one of the most consistent pitchers in the AL thus far and yesterday’s performance marked his third complete game of the season. The burning question is, does this mean we have to regularly refer to him as Big Game James again? Because that was a bit much. The AL East is currently wound tighter than Cameron Fry, as even the last place Orioles are just four games out of first.

Mariners 6, Padres 1 — King Felix matched James Shields in the strikeout column, fanning 13 helpless Padres. He ended up going eight innings for the second straight game and allowed one run. It would be nice if Seattle would hurry up and just trade Felix to the Yankees. ‘Tis destiny.

Indians 12, Reds 4 — Asdrubal Cabrera went 5-for-5 with two homers and a career high 5 RBI, thus likely cementing his position as non-starting shortstop in the All-Star game. Perhaps Jeter will give him the nod and allow him to start since his numbers are vastly superior? Or perhaps that’s just wishful thinking and has zero chance of actually happening.

Red Sox 5, Cubs 1 — I’m sorry, but the fact that Tim Wakfield threw 6 1/3 innings of one-run ball in Fenway Park is pathetic. The horrible Cubs couldn’t even muster a walk off the old man. Apparently the knuckle ball was working for a change. And though it’s not quite official news yet, it’s assumed Wakfield will pitch until the end of time.

Rangers 2, Phils 0 — The Phillies were shutout by Matt Harrison who had allowed 16 runs in his last 17 2/3 innings. The good news? Utley’s baaaaaaaaaaack.

Yanks 9, Mets 3 — With one out of the seventh, the Mets intentionally walked Mark Teixeira to load the bases and face A-Rod, who pounded a pitch directly into the ground and watched it dribble about 30 feet. Run scores, everyone’s safe and the eight-run inning onslaught was on.

Cards 9, Royals 8, 10 innings — This one was quite the ugly mess. St. Louis scored two runs in the top of the tenth thanks to two bases loaded walks, one of which came on four straight pitches to Colby Rasmus, who was fortunate enough to receive a total of five free passes for the game. And all five of those walks came from different pitchers, so at least K.C.’s ineptness was widespread and balanced. The Cards ended up drawing a total of 13 walks, making the Royals hilarious once again.

White Sox 8, Dodgers 3 — Alexei Ramirez went 4-for-5 with two doubles, a home run, and 5 RBI. He’s on my fantasy team which means I should reference how his clutch Sunday performance affected the outcome of my game against Ken Rosensquirrel’s Acorns, but I won’t put you through that because I know you don’t give a shit.

Random Baseball Video Since MLB Advanced Media Hates Us All: The opening music for “Super Baseball” on Atari 2600 tells you everything you need to know about how elaborate the game was. Are those some sort of reptiles running onto the field?