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'The flower you love is not in danger...I'll draw you a muzzle for your sheep...I'll draw you a fence for your flower...I' I didn't know what to say. How clumsy I felt! I didn't know how to reach him, where to find him...It's so mysterious, the land of tears.”

"It will make a man out of you." (joining scouts - where i was bullied and abused.)

"some day you'll thank me for this." (that day has NOT come yet!)

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"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

I have read that relationship issues like infidelity, cheating and sex outside the relationship are exactly the same as male sexual abuse in children and adults. I read this over and over on different rants.

My mother told me that I did not have to report their physical abuse to the leaders of our church. When I told her, she said that they may have been telling me to "let it go".

My brother told me that he did not remember any abuse, but that he has a short memory. Later that week he disclosed to someone else, who told me.

From a friend, "My brother fought with me, and I grew up just fine, what is the difference?"(from sexual abuse)

From a therapist, "we need to do a workbook about anger management" after I cried on her couch that I hurt and I did not know why.

I actually had another therapist, a male yawn loudly during a disclosure of sexual abuse. First and last visit. I asked him if he needed a coffee.

Wow, they seem bottomless. I like what KMCINVA brought out, the supporters are more than the negatives, I think maturing in recovery create more positive thoughts and actions so we are more internally populated with affirming messages. In looking around, most folks say nothing about what we consider in here, so the negative may be overwhelming when it is commented.

My father, after I disclosed in a little-boy fashion (I was 10) the abuse which took place in the garage across the street:

He exploded in anger, went around the kitchen table and pulled the folding chair out from under me. I fell on the floor. He picked me up by my ankles and started to bang my head on the kitchen floor. He said:

"You G** D***** little queer. I might as well just kill you right now." He reached in the knife drawer near my feet. My mother said: "Oh..no..don't do that." He dropped me on my head and stomped out of the room. I went and sat, stunned, at the top of the basement stairs.

Later that night, I was in bed. He entered the room, switched on the light, pulled the covers back, ripped my pajama top back, and started beating me with a belt. Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap. I was crying and hoping the neighbors would hear and intervene (didn't happen). Then he got the broom and said: "I'm going to show you what it feels like......." He ripped my pajama bottoms down. Mother had been watching from the doorway. She intervened: "Oh..no.." He threw down broom and huffed out of the room.

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