The title can't just be "Metal" just like, Christians aren't just "Christ".

Metallist? Metalhead? Hessian? This has to be organized somehow so it's not all over the place.

There's no need for that here: if you're given a sheet that asks you to check the box next to your faith, the religions would be listed like "Christianity", "Buddhism", "Islam" instead of Muslim, "Metal" instead of what-have-you. You wouldn't have to worry about what to call a single practitioner, which is a good thing in our case since most so-called metal fans nowadays haven't a clue what "Hessian" refers to, and conversely some Hessians think the "metalhead" label is disparaging. Save that can of worms for later!

At first glance I thought this was a cheesy idea, but then I noticed a few common traits amongst Metal people:

Regularly attend live rituals, with attendees often acting possessed; orchestrate pilgrimages to the more significant rituals no matter how far

Shun the weak, tasteless, or otherwise treasonous among us as infidels; divide into sects; identify the most talented as spiritual leaders

Have established traditional dress and customs of appearance (varying somewhat by sect but ultimately universal)

Have a lexicon of symbols distinctive and esoteric ("You can't read this? It says 'Averse Sefira'.")

Derive a philosophy and inspiration from regular listening experiences, which are often prayer-like in their privacy

The title can't just be "Metal" just like, Christians aren't just "Christ".

Metallist? Metalhead? Hessian? This has to be organized somehow so it's not all over the place.

There's no need for that here: if you're given a sheet that asks you to check the box next to your faith, the religions would be listed like "Christianity", "Buddhism", "Islam" instead of Muslim, "Metal" instead of what-have-you. You wouldn't have to worry about what to call a single practitioner, which is a good thing in our case since most so-called metal fans nowadays haven't a clue what "Hessian" refers to, and conversely some Hessians think the "metalhead" label is disparaging. Save that can of worms for later!

At first glance I thought this was a cheesy idea, but then I noticed a few common traits amongst Metal people:

Regularly attend live rituals, with attendees often acting possessed; orchestrate pilgrimages to the more significant rituals no matter how far

Shun the weak, tasteless, or otherwise treasonous among us as infidels; divide into sects; identify the most talented as spiritual leaders

Have established traditional dress and customs of appearance (varying somewhat by sect but ultimately universal)

Have a lexicon of symbols distinctive and esoteric ("You can't read this? It says 'Averse Sefira'.")

Derive a philosophy and inspiration from regular listening experiences, which are often prayer-like in their privacy

Fuck, I guess it is sort of a religion.

Well, metal simply has its own culture. And it's been long enough that only religious cultures are seen as cultures that matter! This is an excellent way to show people that religion has been surpassed by different values that are not derived out of fear of an extraterrestrial entity and eternal damnation but from a love for life and a desire to live free from the chains of modern society.

To any Americans who were looking forward to screwing with the religion question on the 2010 Census---you're out of luck, because the Census has been abbreviated to just 10 questions and religion isn't one of them. If I may surmise the reasons for this, it's because (A) A lot of Americans nowadays don't have the attention span to look over a document that's more than 1 page long, and (B) we don't have a Muzzie problem like Europeans do; instead, the American census has an entire section devoted to "who speaks Spanish?" and "exactly what kind of 'Spanish' are you?".

The U.K. Census 2011 definitely asks about religion, though. Best of luck to the movement over there; it would be fitting for it to really happen, with England being Metal's birthplace and all.

Unfortunately most "metalheads" are actually just hardcore/metalcore fans who say things like "this is metal as fuck!". They have no clue what metal is about either musically or philosophically and are basically punks who think metal is about "rebellion" and "doing your own thing".

That's the big point for me. It's not counter-culture, or made in a negative image of a parental culture. It's its own culture which is compatible with the past, not the present, and definitely not the dominant meme (equality).

That's the big point for me. It's not counter-culture, or made in a negative image of a parental culture. It's its own culture which is compatible with the past, not the present, and definitely not the dominant meme (equality).

Metal is only a counter-culture in the sense that it opposes modern society because it has its roots firmly in romantic visions from the past. After consideration one can safely conclude that in reality modern society is more counter-culture than metal is. It's a case of the loony calling the sane man crazy.

Metal deals with timeless themes such as mysticism, eternal power struggles and complex romantic themes whereas punk deals with post-50s urban jungle topics such as alienation, politics and simple romantic themes. Very few people will deny that punk is a counter-culture. Informed people won't claim that metal is a counter-culture. I also believe the metal aesthetic is based on values that lie in the past, in spirit it predates all music based on rock&roll. Once you see this it becomes easier to separate the timeless from the momentary.

Metal typically has longer songs (or songs that seem like fragments that make up a longer song) whereas punk has short songs. I think this is one of the underlying reasons that punk bands that dress themselves up as metal bands typically have boring songs. If all you want to say is "don't vote for..." or "I'm in love with..." then what's the point in 7-20 minute songs? Bands like Profanatica and Beherit get it right by not making long songs when they gravitate towards punk/grind more than Graveland or Summoning do. Meanwhile the indie black metal bands all fail with their 10+ minute political love ballads. In just a few years time there won't be anything left of the indie black metal culture (except the usual "classics" catching dust in the bargain bin) because indie black metal lacked a culture to begin with. At most the indie infiltrators will poison some weaker minds and take down some lesser individuals with them, it's only part of natural selection.