Young jihadists from Wales fighting for an Islamic state in Syria have sent back chilling messages with one warning the British government should be “afraid” about him returning with his new found skills.

Shot to instant fame they have made headlines around the world stirring up a hornet’s nest back home with accusations that Cardiff’s Al-Manar Mosque radicalised young men by hosting a Saudi preacher.

I’m not Muslim, have never been to the mosque in question and know only about Syria from what I’ve read and watched about the terrible war there, so can’t offer expert views. What I do know about, as a parent, is teenagers, idealism and social media.

One of the young jihadists, Nasser Muthana, 20, sent his pals a chilling picture of what may, or may not have been, a stash of home-made bombs. You can imagine his thrill as he tweeted the image.

Nasser and his schoolboy brother Aseel, 17, also appeared in a recruitment video online for Isis, the Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham, which is fighting a bloody battle to forge an Islamic state in crisis-torn Syria.

Coming of age rites battling sexism, racism, nuclear arms, animal testing, general injustice and poverty are now vying for place with political and religious battles threatening our whole way of life and living together.

So there they are. Two boys from Cardiff, who along with another young man from Cardiff, 20-year-old Reyaad Khan, have posted macho images online, fighting against the oppressive regime of Bashar Hafez al-Assad who has dragged Syria into an unquestionably catastrophic civil war.

That’s the power of finding a cause to fight for and being able to advertise your views and image on social media – even if it’s unclear why opposing Assad means you must threaten your homeland online.

While their friends back home in Wales may be having a seemingly dull time going to school or college, or hunting for scarce to find jobs, the young jihadists have a new gang and purpose in life.

Many younger people crave a unique social media presence, most are wired to want to make their mark and some enjoy shocking their elders.

Talk to any 17 to 20 year old and you’ll find they have black and white views of the world.

Compromise isn’t a trait of the young. That’s what makes them such good fighters.

Like those across all religions, some from less well off homes are frustrated by lack of opportunity and jobs, he warned. But these three Welsh jihadists were, by all accounts, successful students.

The danger is, for those craving more than their day to day life offers, there are plenty of dark forces out there offering excitement, foreign travel, focus and meaning.

Joining a war is like a macabre gap year gone wrong. It instantly gives the fighter meaning and a solid identity in an uncertain world as they struggle from adolescence to adulthood.

Where has our way of living together gone so awry that these young Welsh brothers and their friend feel they must go far from home to fight to the death to find that identity and threaten the country they were born and raised in?

Dr Kidwai told me he believes many Muslim parents find it hard to talk to their teenagers, as all parents do, at times.

It is even harder to talk to your children when the world we live in sends such conflicting messages.

Much of what the internet, films and advertising bombards all our children with is at odds with our values as parents, whatever faith, or of no faith at all.

It’s impossible to keep tabs on what our teenagers are exposed to. This is not a uniquely Muslim issue. What we must do, as parents, is bite the bullet and talk about thorny issues, even when it’s embarrassing and tricky. Even when we are far from our comfort zone and scared of the questions, let alone the answers,

If we don’t talk to our teenagers about racism, sexism and sectarianism, we can be sure someone else will. That someone may be a dangerous zealot or drug dealer hoping to recruit them with scant regard for whether they live or die.

Instead of being scared of teenagers, adults must try to help them find constructive ways to use their desire for excitement and action.

If we don’t we can be sure more will head to Syria and other hot spots to find the meaning their lives here somehow fail to have.