Thursday, September 16, 2004

The Angry Man March

What the drunk guy my age in the army jacket was yelling on the street today.Kerry is a hero! Kerry faced the enemy! Kerry is a man! Don’t you understand?

The other Kerry, clothing-optional disaster consultant.Teresa Heinz Kerry, visiting volunteers at a hurricane relief center, who were packing supplies to send to the Caribbean, was worried that they were packing too much clothing.

She remarked, according to the Associated Press, "Clothing is wonderful, but let them go naked for a while, at least the kids. Water is necessary, and then generators, and then food, and then clothes."

Next: The Women of Der Wienerschnitzel.Playboy is looking for female McDonald’s employees for a future “Women of McDonald’s” pictorial.

Meet Tiffany Warkovski, fry cook!

Tiffany, what do you look for in a guy?

--I like a guy with a little bit of a ‘tude. Who likes the outdoors. Exact change helps, especially during peak hours.

What are some of your favorite things?

--I like action movies, walks on the beach, pink mesh teddies, and supersized men, if you know what I mean.

Will you say it for us?

--If you beg me.

Please. Purr it. Caress the words with your tongue.

--You want fries with that?

Next: Old men with x-ray vision given restraining orders.MTV has commissioned a cartoon pilot, HEF’S SUPERBUNNIES, a collaboration between comics veteran Stan Lee and sex veteran Hugh Hefner. It concerns a superhero in pajamas who fights crime, with the help of specially trained Playboy bunnies. "This project is going to be a lot of fun," Hefner told Reuters.. "It's going to be more than just an action show. It's going to be very satirical with a lot of cutting-edge aspects to it."

In other media conglomerate news.The Walt Disney World employee who was acquitted of charges that he fondled a 13-year-old while in a Tigger costume? Suspended again, this time accused of shoving a couple people while dressed as Goofy.

Do they have to be queer?The Hollywood Reporter tells me that QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY is not doing so well. “Viewership for first-run episodes plummeted during the summer by about 40% versus a year ago in Bravo's target demographic, viewers 25-54, as well as 18-49. Tuesday's new episode drew 804,000 in the latter demographic -- its second-lowest yet.”

Bravo president Laura Zalaznick “is mum on any plans for rejuvenating the series, though there is talk of delaying the next batch of new episodes to build up demand. Zalaznick doesn't see any drastic changes in store for QUEER EYE, but allowed for the possibility of some creative tweaking.