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31 December 2009

I had been somewhat dismissive of the ex-POTUS Carter re his demand that "State of Israel will fulfill its destiny as a light unto the nations". It is known that Jimmuh is one tenacious character and wouldn't leave us alone until we comply.

But I think that the dream came true already, it is just my waning powers of observation that were kind of in the way. Here it is:

Sacramento firefighters say a man is seriously injured after he started a house fire while apparently burning his divorce papers....

The fire damaged the two-story duplex in Sacramento's West Natomas area. It sent the man to a Sacramento hospital with serious injuries including smoke inhalation. ...

Doucette says the fire was in an upstairs bedroom where the man also was found. Two cats were also found dead of smoke inhalation.

"So what?" are you obviously saying. What does a man who almost kills himself, burns a house and murders two innocent felines - all this because of a measly divorce - have to do with Israel being (or not, as the case may be) a light unto whatever?

30 December 2009

Likeness.ru, a Russian site that deals with "separated at birth" pairs, has quite a lot of funny and/or surprising pairs. If you sort the lists by popularity, the third and the seventh places respectively (as of today) are occupied by the following:

Update: upon second thought, some of you without Russian may have a difficulty with two of the pictures. So: the character on the left in the first set is a baby baboon; the character on the left in the second picture is the current Russian president.

29 December 2009

Could have been a headline of a sensational scoop about a new sex scandal. Now it's lost forever.Is this item carrying the proud Calvin Klein label? Or Giorgio Armani? Certainly not ABC news in any case...

I am afraid we'll never know. There are some things that FBI never ever discloses, and this secret will go in the cupboard with Jimmy Hoffa's whereabouts and Area 51 details.

Well, at least it's not dirty. Whatever esle Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's mom taught him, he remembered the lesson about not going out in soiled undies. Otherwise:

And enterprises of great pith and moment,With this regard, their currents turn awry,And lose the name of action.

More than 400 members of an international aid convoy to Gaza declared a hunger strike on Sunday to protest Egypt's refusal to allow them entry into the Hamas-ruled territory via the Red Sea. Alice Howard, a spokeswoman for British-based Viva Palestina, said the group was consuming only liquids, as it remained stranded in the Red Sea port of Aqaba.

At least it's not that hot in December, so the Santa Claus and his reindeers are not in acute danger of dehydration. As for hunger: one glass of beer brings with it about 200 calories. Assuming a daily caloric intake of a person at about 2000 calories, 10 glasses of beer will do as a liquid diet.

Another notice from the same article drew my attention:

Amongst the hunger strikers is an 85-year-old Holocaust survivor who came from the U.S. to participate in the planned Gaza Freedom March to commemorate last year's Gaza war.

Haaretz decided not to follow up on the name and pedigree of the Holocaust survivor in question. Which is a pity, because the name is Hedy Epstein and her "survival", not to speak about her peculiar affinity to any anti-Israeli do are remarkable.

While it is true that Epstein lost family in the camps (she mysteriously has photos that she cannot account for as to who took them, it would be interesting to find out if they are even genuine, but let's say they are), she nevertheless spent the war in safety in England as a child. Calling oneself "a Holocaust survivor" connotes images of someone who was in the camps him or herself, starved, beaten and ultimately facing a gas chamber. Ms. Epstein was none of these.

The International Solidarity Movement that employs and sends Ms. Epstein around has only one goal: To send a message that "See? The Jews have no right to a Jewish homeland. We can parade around a Jew who will agree with our aims and mitigate everything we say and do." She’s a world traveler, staying in nice hotels, putting out the ISM party line and getting paid for it. Nice work if you can get it.

More in that linked article (already two years old, but neither ISM nor Hedy seem to get the message).

Cleaning up my personal e-mail in-box, I have discovered that during the last two or three months I have received about 20 mails in three languages dealing with the same subject: what a person should do in the eventuality of a heart attack. The mails weren't spam, all were sent by my friends, colleagues and even relatives. Probably they all are trying to tell me something, although I couldn't figure out what it might be.

In any case, back to the e-mails. Being written in three languages I know, they differ in their wording slightly, but are almost identical in contents*, and every darn one of them carries the same sentence:

The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up.

And of course, being ambiguous as it is, the sentence was the only one that received my undivided attention. I didn't resolve the ambiguity, but after mulling on it somewhat fiercely, I have decided that both meanings are fine with me. No worries then.

(*) And for those of you who haven't received such an e-mail, here is the gist of it:

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.Afterwards:

call 911

phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by

say"heart attack!"

say that you have taken 2 aspirins.

take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and...

28 December 2009

The headline is stolen from this Indy article. Doesn't surprise me at all: after each atrocity, be it a terrorist act or an especially gory murder, the neighbors tell exactly the same (well, "wealthy" is an occasional attribute, of course) story.

Reading another article, also from a British paper, I have stumbled on an interesting detail.

Mr Schuringa said he said he frisked the suspect and discovered his trousers were open and that he had a flaming object resembling a small, white shampoo bottle strapped to his left leg near his crotch.

The location of the explosive charge and the circumstances lead me to modify the above description of the subject to: wealthy, quiet, unassuming and ball-less. The expression "balls up" gained another meaning now.

What will he do with them 72 virgins in the eagerly expected paradise for AQ martyrs?

And, since AQ was mentioned: not a long time ago AQ scientists experimented with an assbomber. Apparently it proved to be a disappointment, thus the change of location, location, location...

It is believed Farouk Abdul Mutallab had moulded a quantity of the explosive powder to his body, sewn into his underwear in a six inch packet. He then attempted to detonate the device using a syringe containing a liquid, which was later recovered on the aircraft by FBI agents. Officials believe tragedy was only averted because the makeshift detonator failed to work properly.

For curiosity sake, I have checked on Google Trends how the interest in PETN behaves, geographically speaking, and the result was somewhat surprising (click to enlarge):

It shows that Iran produces at least twice as much PETN-related traffic as the second to fourth contenders (India, Germany, Israel, Australia, Finland, USA). Taken in conjunction with the second ("Cities") and third ("Languages") columns of this survey, the result for a layman statistician like me pointed to somewhat grotesque picture of a rural Iranian proficient either in German or Finnish researching the uses of PETN...

It might be of interest that small (population-wise) countries like Israel and Finland generate significant traffic too, but then Google lumps Israelis and Palestinians in one statistical lump. Finns - who knows, perhaps they need high explosives to deal with tree stumps or summat.

27 December 2009

26 December 2009

The following text that arrived the usual way into our In box today may have a lot to do with the latest unpleasantness that occurred during that Northwest flight from Amsterdam. We are publishing only an excerpt of the whole letter.

My dear friend,

Good day and compliments. This letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine the future of many people.

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is [omitted for clarity], I am the executor of the real estate of my brother, [omitted for clarity], untimely deceased the last winter as a result of an especially vicious attack of gout*.

The present democratic government is determined to portray all the good work of my late brother in a bad light and have gone as far as confiscating all his properties, freezing our accounts both within and outside Nigeria.

However, only the closest relatives, myself included, know about my brother's penchant for pyrotechnics. Indeed so strong was his attachment to this hobby that he secretly owned a factory producing fireworks.

Since the government agents are following our every move, we felt the need to call upon you as a reliable friend who will help us in profitably disposing of the huge stash of fireworks that has accumulated at the factory.

Behind any refugee there is a tragedy of lost roots, lost friends and relatives, lost livelihood. Many a charitable organization tries to help refugees in their plight and to assist them recovering whatever is possible of their life and dignity. However, there is one quirky outfit that under the guise of assistance does all it can to perpetuate the problem of one specific tribe. UNRWA.

At the insistence of the Arab states, the UN created a special agency, the UNRWA, to serve the Arab Palestinian refugees, and a special legal status for them, unlike that of any other refugees in the world. The rest of the world's refugees are covered by different legal definitions and served by a different agency, that does not perpetuate their refugee status. Only for Arab Palestinian refugees is refugee status inherited and passed from father to son and from mother to daughter, and even to spouses who "marry in" to the Palestinian refugee community and to their children. Who pays for this apparatus? You do. This presentation about The Refugee Problem outlines the differences in status for Palestinian Refugees and all others.

If, after seeing the presentation, you still harbor any doubts about UN, a small reminder: about 800,000 Jews fled or were expelled from Arab countries because of the creation of Israel. How many UN officials deal with this issue?

[Disclaimer]: the following document is deeply personal and is not and never has been related in any way whatsoever to any current or past government or any other official organ of Israel aka Zionist Entity. Or to Abe Foxman. The author of this document is strictly a private citizen* and will deny any connection with above mentioned. [End of disclaimer]

Dear Jimmuh (do you mind if I call you Jimmuh? why should you care anyway?),

I was deeply touched by your personal letter to the Israeli people. I almost (but not quite) wept like a baby reading that "Al Het" offer made in the true Christmas spirit**.

So I thought hard and without interruption for a whole night, and this is what I have to counter-offer (but first of all a question: why the heck do you think that Israelis as a whole and I in particular need this offer at all? Oh well, just wondering.) Now to the nitty-gritty.

In your esteemed letter you have expressed your wish for security, prosperity and happiness of Israel. Peachy, but there is one other point in the letter I want to stress: "the State of Israel will fulfill its destiny as a light unto the nations".

First of all, we don't never want to be no light unto no nations no more, let me make it as clear as possible. We want to deal with our own problems and to be left alone by all kinds of well- and not-so-well-wishers. And seeing as that guy, you know whom I mean, the one who helped to knock over your embassy in Tehran and now is a bosom buddy of some of your bosom buddies, that Mahmoud A. guy, wants to help us to become a kind of special light, I would say thanks but no thanks.

So I have a deal to offer to you, Jimmuh. On your side, you take away your apology, many thanks and all that but no need to bother. And of course, let's back off of that light unto nations business, it's too murky with all these different kinds of light, if you see what I mean. And just forget about us, OK?

publish barf-inducing pictures where you kiss some unspeakable bounders

use words "Tehran embassy", "Kim Il Sung", "peanuts" and "failure" on a page where your name appears

If we got a deal, just nod.

Your STG

(*) Of course, aside of being one of the chief Hasbara operatives of the Elders' HQ, but this goes without saying.
(**) It cannot really be about Hanukkah spirit, since Hanukkah spirit is all about killing as many ancient Greeks as possible and then celebrate the deed by eating lots of kosher food. And we are totally out of ancient Greeks.

25 December 2009

(Yiddish) a baked or fried turnover filled with potato or meat or cheese; often eaten as a snack

Well, it goes to show how much the authors of that specific dictionary (WordWeb in this case) know about food in general and pedigree of knishes in particular. Even Wiki in its limited wisdom knows better. But enough on semantics. It's all about an excellent post Rules for radicals, or how not to make a knish by inimitable Akaky Akakievich Bashmachkin, he of The Passing Parade blog. Mmm... something's wrong with this sentence, anyway, read this post.

Just one remark re that post:

People who prepare presentations for executives know the rule of thumb: never put more than 5 (some even say 3) bullets in one slide/page, since executive attention wonders away to its usual foci - sex, cars and alcohol be my bet. This superb post should be broken in about three or four smaller ones and fed to the White House (and other high windows I could mention) over appropriate time period for optimum digestion.

On the comparison of Sarah Palin's legs with those of Mahmoud the Mad and Vlad the Expaler: the former one never displays his body below his ugly mug, and Vlad, while frequently exposing his upper torso, keeps his lower body covered - probably due to some secret government installation down there. It could be educational to organize a leg competition between the three, but, alas, it will be difficult in our era of mutual distrust.

So yeah, go and read this post. Twice at least. Ya'll have a long vacation coming, so no excuses.

24 December 2009

It will be naive to expect a politician to behave straighter than, say, an average corkscrew. Still, most of that peculiar species try to hide their hanky panky behind some veil, even if formal.

Not so with Bibi. For several months he and his "associates" were busy digging under foundations of the rival Kadima party (which foundations, it must be said, are not too strong to start with, but it's an unrelated issue), having in mind a group desertion of Kadima by its MKs for Likud.

At least six Kadima MKs signed a document with Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu's adviser Yitzhak Molho last week committing themselves to leave the party, sources close to Netanyahu confirmed on Wednesday night.

Netanyahu and his associates have negotiated with 15 Kadima MKs about leaving Kadima over the past three months and they hope to persuade 10, but just seven are needed in order to legally split off from the party.

And the price:

Each of the MKs who leave Kadima will become a minister, deputy minister or Knesset committee chairman.

Some local economist has already calculated the price of the first six deserters to the tax payer and the result is $10M, give or take a few millions (these are the expenses related to setting up three new minister's and three new deputy minister's offices).

But you know what: upon second thought I, as a taxpayer, consider it a small price to pay for this lesson of open and unashamed political debauchery. The show and the attached lesson were really worth it.

I am sure that in a few days after completion of the deal, Bibi will give a speech. In that speech the whole stinky business will be sincerely justified and presented to John Q. Public not only as a brilliant political achievement (which it might as well be, looking at the chilling corpse of Kadima) but as a thoroughly moral and straightforward act (which is surely ain't).

And you know what: John Q. Public will swallow it. And if a few wouldn't - well, they will surely forget it way before the next election.

23 December 2009

I am not a teetotaler, far from being so. I am trying to persuade myself that I am not a prude nor a puritan. However, the trend of "rehabilitation" of alcoholic beverages that is palpable for the last ten years or so seems to me a bit, how to say it gently - smelly. First of all some general statements on health advantages of alcohol are issued from time to time:

Research has found that moderate drinking significantly reduces the risk for a number of health problems.

And of course, every national drink is finding its own way to the list of beneficial liquids. Beer, to start with (and nary a nation doesn't produce at least one), was found to have at least 10 (ten!) health benefits, and this is according to a 2007 article. Red wine, of course, barged on the scene, waving the French tricolor, more or less at the same time. And who could remain indifferent to this:

Results of the tests indicated that Cabernet Sauvignon was at the top of the list, with Petit Syrah and Pinot Noir following closely behind.

Car makers could learn something from the crisp and authoritative style of that quote. Scientifically speaking, of course.

Whiskey (or whisky, if you will) didn't hesitate, but being a subtle and nuanced drink, single malt has chosen a subtle approach:

Do you notice that every time you have a lovely, long civilised dinner with a good friend that involves high quality single malt, drunk slowly and with appreciation, at some point during the evening you feel intensely, almost palpably happy?

I did notice, indeed, and practice this kind of happiness at any opportunity. And now to the latest entrant in the politically correct Health Benefits race - champagne:

Research at the Univ. of Reading in the UK suggests that two glasses of Champagne a day may be good for your heart and circulation. The researchers have found that drinking Champagne wine daily in moderate amounts improves the way blood vessels function.

There is more quasi-scientific balderdash in that article. Of course, the article, being short of necessity, doesn't go into details, such as: were student volunteers involved in the project or the research staff heroically offered themselves for the task?; what kind of bubbly was used for the study (I hope that the research grant allowed for the real stuff and not some Albanian plonk)?; were the subsequent burping, hangover and other aftereffects considered? and more...

So, who is next? What drink is not yet reinstated as a bringer of health (tequila is, if you have wondered, albeit in a humble way, and vodka is making some feeble attempts too)? I am waiting with bated breath for the next entrant. There is only so much liquid I can consume per day. Of course, I assume that consuming moderate quantities of several drinks per day (on condition that you don't mix them in one glass) adds up to the count of benefits...

Are you a busy business owner who is short on time? Do you wish you could find a college-educated, hard working assistant to help you on a part-time basis? Good news--now you can!

A 2-year old company, Secretary in Israel, will place with you an American virtual executive assistant to help you with a range of your administrative and marketing tasks. They can do everything from: making and confirming appointments, booking travel, sending gifts and cards to your clients, updating your Twitter, LinkedIn, Blog, Facebook and YouTube accounts, and much more.

21 December 2009

It is so easy in this case: no need to invent headlines, no need to explain: everything set up so simple and clear, that the only thing to do is to remind self the definition of irony (which, they say, is so beloved by the Brits):

Witty language used to convey insults or scorn

Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs

A trope that involves incongruity between what is expected and what occurs

And now all that remains is to quote:

Hamas admits to being behind the legal proceedings initiated in Europe in which arrest warrants were issued for Israeli public figures for allegedly committing war crimes.

British newspaper speaks with Diya al-Din Madhoun, who heads the Hamas committee set up to coordinate the campaign to issue arrest warrants against Israeli public figures in European courts. 'All the political and military leaders of the occupation in our sights'.

The soft belly of democracy is not in danger already: it is being actively consumed by the predators who are so much more inventive than the slow and ponderous minds of the enlightened, fat and defenseless Western world.

19 December 2009

This should be a headline that greets me on Fox News after a long period of abstinence...

Not that I am especially concerned about the olfactory problem experienced by the Caudillo, but it reminded me an old blonde joke:

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why, yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger."

Without casting additional unwarranted aspersions on the good an innocent caste of blondes, I would like to advise our intrepid Caudillo to change his clothes and to take a shower from time to time. After hobnobbing with Mahmoud the Mad, Baby Assad and their likes, one shouldn't be surprised if the sulfur stench sticks to one's body.

Not that a person in question this time doesn't dub in sulfur-related business himself. Oh well...

27 November 2009

Are you going to enter the holy matrimony, to reach the ideal human state? Have you found the other missing half that will enable both of you to dwell in peace and tranquility? Or is it happening to your beloved daughter or that apple of your eye, your son?

Good and peachy. But on your way to that ceremony you are no doubt faced by many obstacles which, although purely material, can cause you a serious loss of sleep. The clothing, the caterers, the right tables and/or chairs, alcohol drinks (juices for some of you), not to mention the right pastor, imam, rabbi or a municipal big cheese, etc etc. The seating arrangements alone could drive you crazy...

These guys are professional, they do their job quietly and non-obtrusively and the result will be a High Definition video you will enjoy watching again and again and showing it to anyone who missed that memorable event.

26 November 2009

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a big city called Tehran. Whenever she went out, which was usually to pray, the little girl wore a red praying burqa, so everyone in the city called her Little Red Praying Burqa (LRPB for brevity). So pious was LRPB that not a single toe nor a single hair were visible, and imam-approved red latex gloves covered her hands.

One morning, LRPB asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother as it had been awhile since they'd seen each other.

"That's not a good idea," her mother said, "there is a Tehran-wide alert issued by our spiritual father the Grand Ayatollah this morning":

"Families in our neighborhood have been warned that if you go out during the protest...among the enemies of the regime...there might be a chance that Israelis might take you," an elderly man who resides in an impoverished part of Tehran said by telephone last week.

"So, you see, my dearest LRPB, the streets of Tehran are full of big bad Zionist Wolves," said the mother,"and I can't allow you to put your life in danger. You just wait till the good basijis catch and kill all the wolves and then you shall be free to visit Grandma".

LRPB, however, being of a strong and willful manner, decided to go, mother's words notwithstanding. And - oh mistake of all mistakes - in her hurry to leave the house when her mother was busy in the kitchen, she forgot the holy Qur'an!

To make the long story short, the Zionist Wolf (ZW) learned about LRPB's destination, using the infamous Zionist mind control rays and, a little out of breath from running, arrived at Grandma's and knocked lightly at the door.

"Thanks to Allah you arrived safe, dear! Come in, come in! I was worried sick that something had happened to you on the way," said Grandma thinking that the knock was her granddaughter. ZW let himself in. Poor Granny did not have time to say another word, before ZW gobbled her up!

ZW let out a satisfied burp, and then poked through Granny's wardrobe to find a burqa that he liked. He added a frilly sleeping cap, and for good measure, dabbed some of Granny's perfume behind his pointy ears. A few minutes later, LRPB knocked on the door. ZW jumped into bed and pulled the covers over his nose.

"Who is it?" he called in a cackly voice.

"It's me, Little Red Praying Burqa."

"Oh how lovely! Do come in, my dear," croaked ZW .

When LRPB entered the little cottage, she could scarcely recognize her Grandmother.

"Grandmother! Your voice sounds so odd. Is something the matter?" she asked.

"Oh, I just have touch of a cold," squeaked ZW adding a cough at the end to prove the point.

"But Grandmother! What big ears you have," said LRPB as she edged closer to the bed.

"The better to hear you with, my dear," replied ZW .

"But Grandmother! What big eyes you have," said LRPB .

"The better to see you with, my dear," replied ZW.

"But Grandmother! Where does this big tail come from?" said LRPB.

"Uh... it's not a tail, my dear," replied ZW, blushing mightily.

"But Grandmother! What big teeth you have," said LRPB, her voice quivering slightly.

"The better to eat you with, my dear," roared ZW and he leapt out of the bed, began to chase the little girl and, eventually, gobbled her up too. Not having the holy book of Qur'an with her, LRPB was defenseless.

It was LRPB's good luck that a group of young basijis was strolling nearby, discussing an especially complicated surah from the holy Qur'an. At the sound of commotion they've broken into the Grandma's house, killed the Zionist Wolf, opened his huge stomach and lo and behold! Both LRPB and her Grandma came out of ZW unharmed and in one piece. Er... it should be "in two pieces", but whatever.

Still, the story didn't end well. Stomach juices of the Zionist Wolf dissolved part of the LRPB's burqa, and lo and behold 2:

And thus the willful and stubborn Little Red Praying Burqa brought shame and infamy to her pure and pious family for ever and ever. Her heartbroken father was forced to leave his job in the Ministry of Poetic Justice and these days sells encyclopedias and holy Qur'an door to door in the rural areas to bring some meager sustenance to the family. The fate of the mother is not for you to learn yet, children.

As for the Little Red Praying Burqa: of course she was stoned by the Grand Ayatollah himself and seven of his closest lieutenants. Meaning Ayatollahs.

I hope the lesson to be learned from the tale is clear, dear children: never leave your house without a spare burqa and never even dream about going somewhere without an escort of a basiji or two.

German traveller Dirk Gensler, who was staying at an adjacent backpacker hostel, was gobsmacked by what he saw when he peered out his window.

"Gobsmacked" means "utterly astounded", it's a Britishism still used by Aussies. And this is what made Mr Gensler's gob smacked:

Their identity is still a mystery but Sydney's clock tower lovebirds have become the toast of Broadway, with passersby capturing their intimate moment on video and mobile phone cameras.

I don't know. What with Sydney apartment rent and apartment purchase prices going through the roof (or through the clock tower, if you will), I am not surprised. At least the couple did it high enough and not on the sidewalk.

What rather surprises me is the shock experienced by the German guy. As far as I know, every town and village in Germany has more clock towers than you can shake a stick at. So what?

25 November 2009

This is one of my last posts before a richly deserved vacation (well, in fact, a typical Elders' covert operation in the Big Satan's Homeland Security jurisdiction). So I have decided to come out of the closet at least on one facet of my complex personality: I am an anti-Semite. And this is final.

The final step on the way to self-discovery was made today, when I have read a post at Harry's place on "the lunatic fringe of the National Union of Journalists". It's about another pro-boycott notion re Israel or something in this vein. As usual, the tempers when discussing the subject run high, and one of the commentators with a moniker Stanislaw came up with the following:

This is why it’s hard to do anything but laugh when British journalists are kidnapped or killed.

The result of this... er... colorful observation was that one of the more respected British bloggers, a physicist, a jourmalist a science writer, an editor and a mensch, Francis Sedgemore, posted a perfectly reasonable and intelligent response* to other contributors in general and to Stanislaw in particular. I am copy/pasting the response as a whole here (hope HP folks wouldn't mind):

Why do some people in this place react to a few lunatics mouthing off as if hoards of barbarians were massing outside the gates of the City of the Enlightenment?

The NUJ Left is a small, noisy activist faction within a large and pretty staid trade union. I guess that the rest of us could do with being a little more active to counter the shenanigans of this group, but sometimes, you know, life is just too short to get hot under the collar about the antics of a few gobshites with poor dress sense and personal hygiene problems.

One positive development within the NUJ is a move to lessen the influence of conference-obsessed activists’ by holding fewer conferences. This sounds like a splendid idea to me. I attend my branch meetings to discuss issues of importance to members. By and large that is exactly what we do, and long may it continue.

Even if the NUJ Left manages to bulldoze through an anti-Israel motion at an ADM, this does not mean that the NUJ as a whole is going to boycott Israel. Get real, people.

“This is why it’s hard to do anything but laugh when British journalists are kidnapped or killed.”

Does being a cunt come naturally to you, Stanislaw, or do you have to work at it?

Well, as it frequently happens, the gentle reproach addressed by Francis at Stanislaw, caused an extravagant outpouring of hurt feelings mixed with highbrow analysis of Francis and accusations in all mortal sins, including the positive diagnosis of antisemitism. Not a single one of the commentators (or HP moderators) addressed so far the last point made by Francis, that of Stanislaw being a cunt. I have looked at that quote from Stanislaw several times at several angles, and the result was the same every time: yes, Stanislaw is a cunt.

On the other hand, since several commentators diagnosed Francis as an anti-Semite, I don't have any other option than to confess to the same malady (or is it a feature?). Yes, I am a raving and rabid anti-Semite too, since I share Francis' views as expressed in the above comment in general and on Stanislaw in particular.

So get at me too now.

(*) Aside of Francis addressing them lunatics as "NUJ Left", when "NUJ left" will suffice.

To start with, of course, the new designation of the Jackal: "alleged terrorist". The word "alleged", according to a dictionary, means "Declared but not proved" or "Doubtful or suspect". Which casts a serious shadow on the Wiki's clear cut definition of Carlos: "Ilich Ramírez Sánchez (born October 12, 1949(1949-10-12)) is a convicted Venezuelan terrorist and murderer". Apparently, being convicted in the French court still leaves some doubts in the AP's own justice system. Oh well.

Now we can go to the second item: the new hobby of Comical Hugo - rehabilitation of the world criminals of all kinds. Besides redeeming Carlos, Hugo made inroads in the history books regarding a few other unsavory characters:

In his speech, Chavez also sought to defend other leaders he said are wrongly labeled "bad guys" internationally, including Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe and Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Chavez called both of them brothers and said he now wonders whether Ugandan dictator Idi Amin was truly as brutal as he was reputed to be.

Well, well, what do you know? It certainly looks like Comical Hugo, looking forward to the long uninterrupted years of his solo leadership of Venezuela, has found a new hobby that will color the long monotonous days of being a Caudillo. He will just rewrite history at his spare time.

It is not that the field he has chosen is limited. There is a long list of evil bastards from Cain to Castro (and I am using only one letter of the alphabet), so Hugo's hands will be full...

I don't understand how this case brought to court the couple instead of the contractor who built the apartment house without appropriate acoustic insulation. You can imagine the quality of the building when the judges ruled that "It cannot be determined which flat was responsible for the noise..."

The other point that this article raises, albeit indirectly, is that some folks in Stockholm can't abide when someone else enjoys life.

And finally to this:

One disgruntled neighbour said:" Their screams of passion were so loud I could hear them three floors away. I don't think they were playing cards."

Surely the disgruntled complainant never played cards, not to speak about his lovemaking techniques. Bleh...

24 November 2009

The channel 4 Dispatches program, "Inside Britain’s Israel Lobby" was described as "one hour of innuendo about “pro-Israeli” moneybags controlling the Conservative and Labour Parties; “pro-Israeli intimidation of British media; premeditated “pro-Israeli” abuse of antisemitism; and sinister music accompanying photos of “pro-Israelis” blurred across Israeli and British flags". In short, another desperate attempt by the "coalition of the muzzled" to roar about their plight all over the media. You would think that there is a slight contradiction between the term "muzzled" and the continuous and deafening noise the complainers make, but it doesn't seem to bother anyone by now.

There are many people that debunked the pitifulconspiracytheory. There are, of course, many other people who are happily joining the chorus of the "muzzled", decrying the vast and sinister conspiracy. So it's not for me to meddle in this thorny issue, aside of noticing an observation made by one of the debunkers:

It is a sign of how much the old ideas of left and right have changed, and in particular assumptions about the natural home of this sort of discourse, that a BNP official cites a Guardian article approvingly, to prove his view that the Conservatives are “run by the Zionist bankers.”

Besides being an apt remark in general, it is pointing out one of the more notorious BNP (British National Party) neo-Nazis, Lee Barnes. Lee Barnes is described as a "legal advisor" to the BNP gang of worthies. It is Lee Barnes who for years bewails the dangers of the vast Zionist conspiracy and its gentile stooges. In his blog 21st Century British Nationalism (no links here, google, please), he is frequently resorting to statements like:

The fact that the Zionist run political Establishments of the nations of the world, and the political puppets of the media that in reality run our countries...

From where we, the Elders, look at the pathetic rant, it seems funny: of course, we don't run any "Establishments" - we are the "Establishments". But Lee Barnes only recently became aware of the fact, pointing fingers to the Conservative Friends of Israel squeezing him from the right and Labour Friends of Israel bashing him from the left. Little does he know if he considers these fronts being the real danger...

But the real coup de grâce was delivered by no one but Barnes' bosom buddy and leader, the notorious Nick Griffin, it appears. In a sudden turn-about, the vile racist that he is, Mr Griffin declared his support for Israel. Not that we need or, indeed, desire any support from that neo-Nazi gang, but this maneuver left Barnes surrounded with no wagons to circle.

So, the island of Albion eventually became an inhospitable place for the likes of Lee Barnes. And the only option I see for him is to take a U-boat to Argentine. At least on the way there he will be safe...

Oh, and Mr Barnes: don't forget to take with you a few of your buddies from the Guardian. Bon voyage.

23 November 2009

Particle beams are once again circulating in the world’s most powerful particle accelerator, CERN’s Large Hadron Collider (LHC). This news comes after the machine was handed over for operation on Wednesday morning.

The last and freshest Haveil Havalim out there by A Mother in Israel. This HH is unprotected. I mean without protektzia (another Russian/English linguistic monster). Anyway, it's a grand job, so enjoy!

20 November 2009

When Vladimir Iliych Lenin said "The Capitalists will sell us the rope with which we will hang them", he may have related only to greed that is undeniably a strong motivator of Western behavior. However, it is not the only one, and Lenin's successors successfully exploited other traits of the Western public. Chief of which was the insatiable hunger for peace displayed by a large segment of the Western population. This sentiment was played upon to perfection by the attentive and well-tuned Soviet propaganda and intelligence outfits, it was nurtured, encouraged and in many cases financed by the Soviets to become a real pain in the arse of Western world. I shall never forget my disbelief at the sight of the anti-war crowds in the West spewing hate and scorn at their own military while hailing and lauding Soviet "peace warriors".

There is no big bad Soviet Union today, but useful idiots are not attuned to the socialism alone. Any two-bit tyrant that produces the right kind of noise, be it the ubiquitous Hugo Chavez or one of his buddies like Baby Assad, Kim Jong Il or Mahmoud (the Mad) Ahmadinejad, is automatically absolved of any sin and relegated to the pantheon of sainthood. As long as the noise produced is sufficiently anti-Western, anti-Israeli and anti-imperialist (whatever it means), everything goes.

I have already mentioned the excellent example of David Lindsay, a British stopper and "an economically social democratic, morally and socially conservative British and Commonwealth patriot". In other words, a perfect specimen of a mixed-up puppy (and an anti-Zionist one to boot). Being socially conservative, he didn't feel absolutely secure when copy/pasting a whole Morning Star (he he) article: "The Morning Star is not always right, but it certainly is this time." The Morning Star article is titled Iran's fake nuke threat, while David's post is headlined a bit differently: The Fake Nuclear Threat From Iran (a bit of poetic license here).

The article follows the blueprint of any pro-Iranian and anti-Western piece, starting with: "If you've been taking the US and Britain's recent pronouncements on Iran seriously, you're probably just about ready to stock up on canned food and start digging a fallout shelter in your back garden" and ending with the mandatory: "If so, he [Obama] should drop the threats against Iran and rein in that one country - Israel, the Middle East's real rogue state". The spirit of the rest of that obvious propaganda piece is best conveyed by the following:

It's not enough to say there's no solid evidence of Iran's nuclear ambitions and no proof that the Qom facility is designed for making weapons. Technically true, certainly, but not enough by a long way.

If you can figure this one out, let me know, please. But enough about the communist Morning Star. The post doesn't end at the last sentence quoted above. Mr Lindsay felt it necessary to add a coda of his own (well, I think so, not having any evidence to the contrary):

Israel has the only outstanding threat of nuclear action by any country against any other. But any such attempted strike - against Iran, which has not started a war in modern times - would be shot down by Obama’s boys in Iraq. There is no other reason why they are still there. And America owes Israel one from way back where "friendly fire" is concerned.

The first sentence could have been written in Swahili: the author was obviously agitated by his feelings about the Zionists and thus not quite coherent, but one can get the general drift.

The second and the third sentences give you a completely original and fresh revelation of US motives for staying in Iraq.

And the last one, where America "owes" Israel is linked (in original) to the Liberty ship story, the perennial and beloved tool of all anti-Zionists.

Oh well, I hope you are persuaded by the eloquence and the originality of the author by now. What remains to me is to add an element of surprise from an article published the same day Mr Lindsay's Morning Star article has seen the light.

The Qum facility could provide sufficient material per year for one to two nuclear weapons, but not enough for continuous operations of a nuclear power plant, according to Western diplomats and other observers.

"It won't (even) be able to produce a reactor's worth of fuel every 90 years, but it will be able to produce one bomb a year. It does look strange," said Ivan Oelrich, acting president of the Federation of American Scientists.

I guess an intrepid stopper like our David wouldn't be daunted by such a small bump on the road to the world peace. We'll soon hear from him (or from Morning Star, whoever comes first) a perfectly sane explanation of that point. I am sure.

So, I am adding this picture to my small but growing "Smile, ijit" collection. Although, to tell you the truth, that tie causes me... oh well, no need to get personal, is there?

I always thought that children should be taken away at birth and grown somewhere secluded with good locks. Or else born aged 21 with a university diploma. Scribbles has another idea. It may work, provided the kids are tethered to the machines securely.

Twopeople of opposite gender have erotic dreams about president Obama. One of the two (the male) includes the second one (the female) in that erotic package, though. Which means what? Are male dreamers more generous or what? (Sorry Shlemazl, you asked for this).

A US driver blamed a low-flying pelican after he drove his £1m Bugatti supercar into a salt marsh.Police in Texas said the motorist was at the wheel of his Bugatti Veyron when a pelican swooped across the road and distracted him.

Well, so what? Pelican is quite a big bird and could be distracting indeed. It could happen to the best of us, and in this case no one but Bugatti was injured. But then there is a small detail not stressed in the article:

He dropped his phone and lost control of the car, which then veered off the road into a salt marsh.

Uhu... he dropped his phone. Probably was telling his buddies how he is coming home with a big £1m surprise for the spouse. The picture is clear, and I have one or two remarks for the gentleman.

Do not drive and talk on your cell phone.

£1m could buy you about 50 regular cars to drive in a marsh and savor the experience.

18 November 2009

This UPI article could have been a subject for some fisking if it were less pathetic.

A Jordanian academic has predicted that Israel will go to war with neighboring Lebanon and Egypt to get their water.

The Jordanian, political science professor Ghazi al-Rababah, was quoted by the Amman newspaper Al-Arab Al-Yawm as saying Israel would first go to war with Lebanon over the Litani River just north of the border with the Jewish state.

And how do we know that this prophecy is a true one? Two items of proof: first, a quote from Ben Gurion:

David Ben-Gurion, Israel's first prime minister, advocated years before the state of Israel was proclaimed in 1948, that the Jewish state should incorporate the Litani.

The strange and wondrous thing about the Old Man is that, while not being particularly politically active lately, he continues to produce a steady stream of quotes for anti-Israeli "experts" of all kinds. Now to the second item:

This item, probably in the eyes of UPI journo, illustrates the parched soldiers of an IDF unit on the way to the refreshing cold streams of the Litani river.

Realising she had no objection to having sex for money, she contacted an agency and worked as a prostitute from 2003 to late 2004 which she said was "so much more enjoyable" than her shifts in another job as a computer programmer.

I had some experience with the latter, none with the former. When a fellow blogger tells it from her own experience, I have to believe her. Pity the knowledge comes so late in my life.

16 November 2009

The Knesset is due on Monday to vote on a highly controversial piece of legislation popularly known as the biometric law, which some claim will make Israel a safer place to live while others warn will threaten the privacy of every resident in the country.

A rare case when I can wholeheartedly agree with both sides, esp. when these sides are our esteemed MKs.

15 November 2009

An Iranian website reported that Iranian General Ali Reza Asgari who defected to the West is in prison in Israel. According to the report, an investigation by Iranian security forces showed that "Asgari was kidnapped by the Mossad in cooperation with the British and German intelligence services, and was ultimately transferred to Israel."

Probably kept in the cell with Jimmy Hoffa.

On the other hand, what the heck do we need another general for when we have a glut of our own? Strange, that...

In an extraordinary series of blog postings, British trade unionists visiting Israel and Palestine have learned that Palestinian workers and their unions are not enthusiastic supporters of the campaign for boycotts, divestments and sanctions (BDS) targetting Israel.

Who would have thought so? Certainly not the shrill anti-Zionist crowd led by the likes of Naomi Klein. Do-gooders in designer garb gallivanting around the globe rarely, if at all, "descend" to the level of workers who care about being able to make their living.

You can read more about the findings of the TUFI (TUFI was established to promote Israeli-Palestinian trade union co-operation and strengthen the links between the Israeli, Palestinian and British trade union movements) delegation to Israel and Palestine here.

TUFI is supported by TULIP: Trade union leaders from three continents have announced the launch of a new global movement "to challenge the apologists for Hamas and Hizbollah in the labour movement" and to fight for a two-state solution to the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians. The movement is called TULIP - Trade Unions Linking Israel and Palestine.

14 November 2009

This is one of the images from NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter satellite:

Intersecting swirling trails left by the earlier passage of dust devils across sand dunes:

Carrying the most powerful telescopic camera ever flown to another planet, the satellite was launched in August 2005. Older observer satellites flown on previous missions to space were able to identify space objects no smaller than a London bus. But the state-of-the-art camera on-board Orbiter can spot something the size of a dinner table

I have no doubt that all of you followed with bated breath the Iranian odyssey of the NYT grand vizier Roger Cohen. Well, if you didn't, here is a reminder. So enamored was our jolly Roger with the regime, that I was quite sure that he became a full time fellow traveler of Ayatollahs. Then, after the democratic elections in this "vibrant democracy" (according to Roger) and the following violence, Roger came up with a rare show of mea culpa, bewailing his own blindness.

One would assume that enough is enough and that Mr Cohen will do his best not to mention this professional fiasco. Even after the ominous sentence he dropped in one of the after-election pieces:

I’ve argued for engagement with Iran and I still believe in it, although, in the name of the millions defrauded, President Obama’s outreach must now await a decent interval.

(We have already seen the attempt to outreach - quite according to Cohen's wishes - and the results of this attempt. But this is not about the current administration. It is about Mr Cohen.)

So imagine my surprise upon seeing the article The Hinge of History where not so jolly Roger takes another approach to Iran:

What if the vast protesting crowd of perhaps three million people had turned from Azadi (Freedom) Square toward the presidential complex? What if Mir Hussein Moussavi, the opposition leader, had stood before the throng and said, “Here I stand with you and here I will fall?” What, in short, if Azadi had been Prague’s Wenceslas Square of 20 years ago and Moussavi had been Vaclav Havel?

This absolutely pathetic piece, which has nothing to do with what professional journalism is about, is just an exercise in mental and moral masturbation. It made me suspect that Mr Cohen nurtures an intent to leave the field of journalism, where the possibilities of rich pickings are somewhat diminished for him, exchanging it for the "what if?" quasi-SF domain. But better people have already cornered this market, so it could hardly be. I don't have an explanation for this miserable excuse for an op-ed column, unless it's a cry of a tortured soul (bleh...).

What I do have, though, is a question: what if Roger Cohen and many of his oh so progressive and liberal colleagues, instead of doing their considerable best to poison the Western minds by their warm and fuzzy about the nice Iranian regime during the years that led up to the current tragedy, tried telling (for a change) not what they desire to see, but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

But then, Roger Cohen is just another link in the long chain of the fellow travelers (or useful idiots, take your pick), one of whom produced that masterpiece in 1924 for NYT:

Sad.

P.S. I have already posted that snapshot of NYT article before. It bears repeating.

When John Wilkes Booth opened fire on President Abraham Lincoln in Ford’s Theatre in April 1865, the media was puzzled. “True, the actor was outspoken in his Confederate sympathies and viewed himself as a Southerner,” said someone who knew him, “but that was no reason he might want Lincoln to be dead.” The day before he went on his shooting spree, Booth hoisted a big Confederate flag outside his hotel room. After he leaped onto the stage he shouted, "Thus ever to tyrants!" the motto of the rebel state of Virginia.

The New York Times reported that Booth was psychologically unstable and was frightened of the Civil War coming to an end and having to face a peacetime actors’ surplus. “His political views had nothing to do with the motives for this tragic act,” it said, quoting experts.

12 November 2009

Shakti(Devanagari: शक्ति) from Sanskrit shak - "to be able," meaning sacred force or empowerment, is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that move through the entire universe.[1] Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as 'The Great Divine Mother' in Hinduism.

One cannot be but proud, happy and astonished by the giant steps made in XX century by the feminist movement and the achievements of women lib in significant part of the world. Of course, there still are a lot of countries where women are oppressed and a lot to do in some other places, but the progress is undeniable.

Local government offices in a southern district of Nepal have shut down in protest after a visiting minister beat up the most senior local official. The minister, Karima Begam (Begum), slapped the man five times* - for not sending a new car to pick her up from the airport. When chief district officer Durga Prasad Bhandari protested, she struck him again, breaking his glasses.

Here is the victim - Mr Bhandari, glassless after the incident:

Of course, I did my best to look up Karima Begam: I still nurture a dream about traveling to Nepal, and it's prudent for a tourist to know what to avoid in a foreign place. So here we are (click to enlarge):

Let's take it step by step now:

This male dominated society has to come to an end and men should revere a woman for her Shakti (power) and wisdom, and understand that denying her a rightful place in the society will be a big loss to Nepal.

I think that one slap on the face is quite enough Shakti spent per male. Six slaps is a bit beyond the call of duty, I would suggest.

I am going to raise my voice not just for Muslim women or Madhesi women but for all the backward, deprived communities.

No one will dare to object now, I am sure.

The biggest challenge will be to prove our worth and competence in the development and structuring of a new state.

The shiners Mr Bhandari is sporting are proof positive. Nepalese feminists can rest their case.

It is high time to stop paying lip service to these issues and take some concrete and conclusive actions.

This was said about a year ago. By now there is no more need for concrete or more conclusive actions. I believe that the male inhabitants of Nepal will grok now what Shakti stands for and start behaving accordingly.

Or else.

(*) There is a minor controversy in the media re the number of times Mr Bhandari was slapped. Some indicate that it was only four times (not counting the glasses-breaker, I guess)

Update: I don't know whether it's this post that caused so much anguish, but here it is, from Telegraph Nepal:

The former Shangri-La, Nepal, that was taken around the entire globe now has become a country for fun associated with chaos and uncertainty. The fun, doesn’t entertain instead humiliates. The fun terrifies. Is this then a fun? This is really unfortunate.

It is my suspicion that most Americans think of the dance of political correctness and diversity training as a harmless game for the elites to satisfy their own sense of self-righteousness with. The massacre of Fort Hood is a reminder that it can be deadly serious.

I am not sure that I absolutely agree with this post, but it's a worthy reading nevertheless.

Yitzchak Goodman aka Judeopundit, one of my favorite bloggers, in his post Mind changed expressed his desire to figure out some shady aspects of the Fort Hood massacre, namely the lack of vigilance displayed by some US agencies prior to the tragedy.

I have posted a somewhat flippant comment:

Uhu... I can already see where it goes. In a few weeks some blogger or other will tell us that it was a Zionist provocation.

A minute or two after doing so, I had me a very short brainstorm that resulted in the Google search "nidal malik hasan zionist".

You can do it yourself, but here are two sample results (out of many):

Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan–The “Inglourious Basterd” Of Fort Hood?

Everything About Nidal Malik Hasan Screams “Patsy”

(Of course, I am not linking to these, but you can easily find the stuff by googling).

Oh well, it is definitely not my day. Headache, the weather is playing up, stupidity...

Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov, arguably the most famous Russian in history, even if by proxy - the AK-47 assault rifle, was recently celebrating his 90th jubilee.

The man is quite sprightly at his advanced age, and I really don't have anything against him. It is the use that his famous invention (well, with some assistance from Hugo Schmeisser, as they say) was put to is bothering the heck out of me.

Mikhail Timofeyevich, it should be said, is painfully aware of that aspect of his invention:

I would prefer to have invented a machine that people could use and that would help farmers with their work - for example a lawnmower.

In the next reincarnation, probably, Mikhail Timofeyevich. Meanwhile, take care...