Friday, August 31, 2012

This is what poor people have for lunch. Blend Watermelon, frozen strawberries and half a banana. Tastes pretty good too. When i have spinach, i usually throw some in there.

Just got done with RPM (Anesthesia) today. The exam was bloody, but i forgive them because they know not what they do. Starting Inpatient Peds next week which is why i have the poll on the upper left corner of this blog. Be a good citizen paticipate. Stand and be counted. Vote!

Seriously, i heard the hours are crazy and i'm trying to figure out a game plan here. I've always taken showers when i wake up in the morning, but i know people who take showers only at night and i am starting to wonder if that's a good idea, that way i can sleep a little longer and just get up and go. What do you think? I don't usually shower twice a day. I don't go to the farm neither do i sweat that much, but sometimes it's necessary and i know a lot of people do things out of habit. I guess i don't have problems in life. lol.

Hey to all my new subscribers (never liked the word followers). Thanks for subscribing. If you are a blogger and want your blog listed on my blog list, leave a comment and i'll hook you up. We all know this blog is a hot spot for blog hopping. I see u guys :)

I got a couple comments from Nollywood reinvented (Hey, girl!) and they showed up in my email but i never saw them on the blog and they weren't deleted either (not that they were bad comments). I'm just wondering what's wrong with blogger.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

What do you do when you feel like life is just happening and you have no control over anything?

Stop!

You stop, step away from the situation and hopefully come back with mental clarity. Anything short of that leads to feeling overwhelmed. One of the questions i was asked during my med school interviews was how i dealt with stress. I should have known something was up when i got that question. It's good to come up with a way to deal with stress as that would get you through the most difficult times. I remember saying, i step away from the situation (which was true at the time) and come back when i felt better. Somehow, along this journey, i forgot that simple strategy that i had in undergrad and managed to work myself into an anxious mess. I stopped taking breaks, never went anywhere or did anything with friends/classmates because my anxiety just wouldn't let me. My type A personality was in overdrive. Stuff like that is not sustainable and is usually counter productive. The result from all of that was not good, health wise and mentally. I haven't felt like myself in years and now i just feel so drained.

At this point, I've completely dissociated myself mentally and it's almost as if my mind has taken a vacation from being in med school and i don't want to be here anymore. Frankly, i have lost interest or maybe i am just confused/mentally drained and burnt out. I feel slightly lost and overwhelmed. So I've just decided to stop and regroup. I'm looking into getting a mentor to help navigate through the rest of med school. My ultimate goal is to be happy, which is how i ended up in med school in the first place because i thought being a doctor would bring self-fulfillment. I realize now that if you are not happy in med school and don't find a balance, chances that you would magically become happy once you graduate are slim. There is a reason why doctors have the highest suicide rate. I don't want to end up living a miserable life and becoming a statistic. I need to start to fix things now.

In other news, my face is so freaking smooth and soft. Very soothing to touch it :)

One of my friends was already made to cry by an attending who pretty much told her she was the dumbest med student she ever met (paraphrased) and then made her present as she was crying. Someone else was told after submitting an H&P to an attending, that the H&P was the epitome of her stupidity. SMH.

Some doctors forget what it was like to be a student pretty quickly. I bet the meanest doctors were douche bags as students. I doubt you automatically change personalities once you become an MD.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Do you know anyone who fits this description? When i first came to this country, i had a friend like this. In fact, her picture should have been by the description. She would keep me on the phone for hours everyday, complaining about stuff and me thinking i was being a good friend would constantly advice her. Until i found out that i was just wasting my time.

What i have come to realize over the years is that a lot of people who come to you really don't want your advice, they just want a listening ear, someone to vent to who would be sympathetic and commiserate with them. I think if someone wants advice they would often times specifically ask for it. If not, just sit there and listen and chime in knowing fully well that they probably would do what they want to do anyway. We are all guilty of being that person (if not regularly, at least once in our lives), but some people take the cake.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Fellow bloggers, abeg, i dey use God take beg una, if you have word verification it would be great if you removed it. I never ever seem to get it right the first time. I just commented on Mikki's blog and it took me 3 tries to get it right, same thing with another blog a few days ago. Very frustrating especially since i don't see what purpose it serves. I'm into quick action if you know what i mean....lol. No dey give me extra work to do abeg. I bet i'm not the only one with this issue.

Friday, August 24, 2012

I'm having a not so great day. I just feel all kinds of off and i'm not even sure how to fix it. My RPM aka Anesthesia rotation is going to be over in exactly one week which means my exam is in exactly a week. I haven't studied. My mock code exam didn't go so great but i'm relieved it's done. I hate verbal exams especially since i didn't know this stuff so well. Things i knew, i forgot also, so if he gives me a pass, then it's what i deserved. I can't even dream of a high pass or honors on this one. Ha!

We still had to go to the OR this morning before going to school for our exam at noon. Since we had 30 minutes before our case was to scheduled to start, i asked my resident to quiz me on ACLS (the code exam), we went through different scenarios and then he draws a rhythm which i didn't recognize. As soon as i told him it was atrial flutter, he flings his hands in exasperation, starts to walk away and said go and read. So i went to my locker and start looking at my notes. 10 minutes before the case was to start, i went back to the pre-op area and walk in on him (my resident) telling another resident about me and how i didn't know the rhythm and he was laughing like how could i be so dumb (he didn't use those words but that was my deduction). He turns around mid-sentence and sees me and says so what is it? I still didn't know what it was so i said atrial fib, so both residents start pimping me and at this point, i was already feeling bad from what i overheard, so i just said fuck it and started saying i didn't know without even trying to figure it out or guess. So the other resident explains everything to me, and i was able to figure out that it was ventricular tachycardia. My resident kept saying, but this is so basic, you should know this. Whatever. We start talking about valsaver maneuvers and he asks me how would i tell a patient to do that and i said i wasn't sure. He turns abruptly in frustration and walks away, when he came back like 5 seconds later, i told him the answer and he was like ok! I had to tell him to chill abeg. Am i not allowed to think again.

Anyway, i was still kinda salty from what i overheard but i had to pretend i was cool and keep acting normal. It's one thing to tell me what you think, it's another to go start talking about me like i'm the dumbest student you ever met. Crazy thing is he is a first year resident so he is still pretty new at what he is learning also. This is the same resident i thot was awesome, now i'm not so sure because i don't know what he really thinks of me. The only reason i care about that is that he gets to evaluate me and give me my clinical grade for this rotation which is 30% of the grade, so what he thinks matters. The whole experience just made me realize that i have to develop a thick skin and fast because i'm sure this is just the beginning of being made to feel stupid. 3rd year is like that i guess with all the pimping that goes on. The trauma surgeon did a pretty good job of making me feel like a first class dummy during my trauma code exam, which was a great initiation to third year. I just can't let it ruin my whole day like it has been. Third year is a huge ego deflater so i guess it'sa good thing i didn't have a big ego to begin with. I am very aware of my weakness. lol. I see rough days ahead. The only thing i can do is read and keep it moving.

Life haf tire me, seriously. I think i'm depressed generally, not even from today. I haven't enjoyed the simple act of being alive and being human in years and 90% of it is because i'm in med school.

Because of you, i know what it means to love someone wholeheartedly. From day zero, you have fascinated me beyond anything else i have ever encountered in life. Even though i'm not there half the time i have watched your every move closely, thanks to your mother who never fails to shower me with pictures and videos. Your first smile, words, everything and I was there the day you took your first steps, July 15th, 2010. You are such a joy and are without doubt a blessing to our family. You are grandmama's baby and you fill our hearts with love. I love you very much.

Happy birthday, my love.

P.S. How are you going to go to Bear a Build and pick a frog? Ehn?! Madam?

I can't believe you are three. What happened to my baby? I see you were trying to regress this morning, stealing your sissy's bassinet and pacifer. What's up with that?

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I put my first perfect IV in today. Not a single drop of blood spilled. Felt like a boss. As at yesterday, i was still using hand to pack blood. lol.

I have an Emergency medicine exam tomorrow worth 15% of my RPM grade. I don't know my left from my right. It's a mock code exam, meaning a) it's a verbal exam b) we have to know how to manage the code, including interpreting EKGs and working the AED/Defribillator.

I am tired of being a student

One silly nurse was trying to engage in an unnecessary power play with me. I was just like, "wetin dey worry this one, mscheeew. Idiot" They left the patient's leads in the OR after surgery and the PACU nurse asked me to go back and get it. When i got back there, i asked the nurse which one it was, she grabbed it from my hands, said "these were supposed to go with the patient" and walked to the other end of the OR. Well, duh! So i went to meet her and told her they asked me to bring the leads back but she wouldn't give it to me, saying she was going to go to the PACU. How about you give me, since that's what i came here for and i'm going back right away. Mba nu, she no gree. So i walked away o. Got back the PACU and everyone was looking at me for the leads, i thot this idiot was right behind me, but she was taking her sweet time. So the PACU nurse looks at me like an incompetent idiot and starts to walk towards the OR, only for madam nurse to show up at the door. I was just like, wetin i wan use EKG leads take do, wey this woman no gree give me. Some people just like to show themselves for no reason.

There's another OR nurse who is just a witch, but i don't send her and smile at her all the time. She's a winch for Jesus.

I love this rotation.

My resident is all kinds of awesome.

I saw another black, pretty decent looking surgeon today, not the other neurosurgery resident that looks like Akpu.

I refuse to carry last tomorrow, so i'm out. Time to go memorize those algorithms.

If you sent me an email, i saw it. I will respond ASAP. Life is threatening to swallow me. I have dropped the ball on many things these last few weeks.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Do you have friend(s) you tell about your relationship? I personally don't have a lot of close friends to begin with and there's only one friend (besides my sisters) i tell about my relationships (both real and imaginary ;) What do you guys think about this video?

Sunday, August 19, 2012

I'm beginning to think i'm weird cos i really don't get the Beyonce hype. I don't like her neither do i dislike her. She's just there. I don't even like her music and i would listen to Rihanna or Chris Brown before i listen to any Beyonce song. I don't get it. Am i missing something? Although to be fair, i'm not a stan of (for?) anyone. The only person i can be into like that is myself.

I got these during our last Pathway core session and i have no clue what to make with them. Our pathway director had us traipsing all over the inner city last Thursday and our first stop was a farmer's market. One of my former anatomy lab partners bought these and decided to share with me. I've never had yellow squash or Zucchini before so i don't know what to make with these. I guess this is where i become intimate with google once more. Or i can summon Chef Wiz

Saturday, August 18, 2012

How cute are these? I got them when i went home. I really like 'em. I happen to have a few things that have skull and bones on the. a watch, belt, chain. Not sure why i like them but i do.

My friend got me this. Yummerz!

This plantain porridge was the business. I made it with shrimp and spinach as you can see and the sauce tasted exactly like pepper soup. If you can't cook, you are on a long thing o. Just saying. It's very easy to make.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

In other news, i didn't get pimped at the pain clinic today, was in fact let out before 12pm. On my way to my locker on the second floor, i was nabbed by my "likee" and i was still let out by 1.30pm. Good day.

Oh! Foxy P reads my blog!!!! You don't understand. I was having a very crappy moment when i read his tweet and it made me smile. I feel like a superstar o.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Would you guys like me to talk about my rotations? Yay or nay? I usually wouldn't ask cos i blog about whatever i want to blog about as you all know but wahala dey o! I haven't lost my blogging mojo but i don't feel like blogging about my life these days. The whole of last week, i came home and went straight to bed, at 3-4 in the afternoon. Yes, I know! I'm usually in the hospital at 6.30-6.45am and i'm generally there until 3pm and i'm on my feet for most of that time. The latest i've stayed was almost 4. Today i was in a 6 hour long surgery where the whole time, it was a struggle to get the man's hypotension under control (I'm in Anesthesia by the way, so i get to see the cool surgeries too without the pressure of getting pimped). We didn't even get a lunch break cos it was so busy. When the attending told the resident he could leave after the case, i was like, does that mean i can leave too?

As soon as we took the patient to the PACU and he had stabilized and the resident told me i could leave, i didn't ask any more questions, I just flew out of there. I think i'm in like with the guy but not in a "I want to date him" kind of way. I just like him. I have worked with him more than my assigned resident who is a third year and he's a first year, so he's still pretty new. I get to do more when i work with my resident, but i enjoy working with him more plus he teaches me a lot of physiology concepts which flew over my head in first and second yr. When my resident is around and has a case i have to work with her, but she seems to always be post call, like today.

Anyhoo, with the way i'm going, if they leave me, i won't blog but if you guys are interested about rotations, then i'll make an effort cos i'm nice like that. Of course, i have plenty stories already. Do you guys remember the gist post, with the married third year who slept with her surgery resident in the call room? She's now a 4th yr and is doing her SubI in anesthesia this month. I officially don't like her cos she's an unfriendly little bitch and she does look skanky. I didn't even know it was her until i was talking about her and was told that was the chic.

I'm going to bed. I'm just exhausted. I'm haven't really been studying so i need to get on that. That's what i say everyday. So far, i am loving this rotation. I've never seen so many hot white guys (residents) in my life. I actually haven't seen any black residents talk less of attending. I still hate having to leave my apartment every freaking day, but we don't have nights or weekends in this rotation which is GREAT, so it's turning out to be a great month.Thank you Jesus. Let's hope this woman doesn't pimp me in the pain clinic tomorrow.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

One of my guy friends just told me something that was so profound, i just had to share.

A man knows when he wants something and he will do whatever he needs to get it. Don't be fooled by talk of I'm not sure, I have to test drive it to see if it's the right one for me. After all, they don't test drive at the auction. You see a car you want, you might check the engine, but you already know if you want it or not.

I just about died from laughing cos i didn't expect the end. How true is that?! Makes perfect sense to me. Which explains countless stories of girls who date guys for eons and as soon as they break up, within 6 months the guy is engaged/married to someone else. You hear stories like that all the time. A really good friend of mine did it too. Not sure if i've ever mentioned it on this blog (probably did). He dated this chic for about 3-4 yrs, she had 4 abortions for him and within 2 months of breaking up with her (for the final time, i guess. They had a rocky relationship cos she wanted to get married and he wasn't ready plus other relationship drama), this dude was telling me he is engaged. I was like to whom? Your girlfriend? He said no, a childhood/family friend. I thot he was joking. Less than 6 months, this dude had gone to carry wine on her head. They just had their first child. I asked him why he did that, and he told me, when you see the right person, you just know.

I'm sure there's more to it than that but that's the long and short of the gist.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Check out part I here. This has been compiled since February of this year, I don't think i've added anything to this since then, but i just never posted it. 99% are thoughts that have passed through my head, usually when i was studying, a couple are from Joel Osteen and he was credited for it. A lot of it was borne out of stuff i was dealing with at the time. Let me know which ones you like.

Never say Never. Just don’t. Life
is full of too many uncertainties and curve balls. You really never know.

It’s easy to sit and give advice
when you are on the other side. Let’s see how well you take your own advice
when your emotions are involved. It’s the most difficult thing in the world.

Sometimes, you just have to say
fuck it.

When your back is against the
wall, the only thing left to do is to stand and fight.

Men value things they have to work
hard for. It’s the simple and plain truth.

There are some people in life that
you are just not going to “like” not matter how hard they try or you try. It’s
not your fault or their fault. It’s the fault of chemistry or the lack of it.

We are all human but not everyone
is 100% human. Some people are just animals. Be especially careful of wolves in
sheep’s clothing.

Sometimes God is trying to save
you and you don’t even know it. Let him.

Stop struggling so hard to hold on
to something that is not yours. You’ll look back someday and thank God for not
letting you have that thing you really wanted at the time because it would have
been a disaster.

Chemistry: You either have it or
you don’t.

That “bad” thing you are afraid to
let happen, could turn out to be not so bad after all.

You are never too old to learn
something new about yourself.

I cannot be a friend to you more
than you are a friend to me. Life is give and take.

It’s never too late to turn back.
Every day is a new beginning and every breath is a chance to start afresh.

Don’t be afraid to let go. Nobody
is indispensable, including you.

People will treat you the way you
allow them to treat you.

If he hits you once, he’ll hit you
again.

Sometimes it helps to play it
close to your chest and not show your hand.

Let your actions show me things
your words will never say.

We all want to be happy, but don’t
trample over people while you are trying to find/get to your happiness.

Be thankful for blessings in
disguise

Speak less and listen more.

If it doesn’t make sense, 9 out of
10 times, it’s a lie.

People WILL lie to you, sometimes
for no reason.

You will never have all the
answers. Sometimes, you just have to put it in your “I don’t understand it”
file and move on. – Joel Osteen

Let go of the past and believe
that God has planted a seed with that experience for better things to come.

He has you in the palm of his hand
and when you have reached your limit and can no longer walk, he’ll carry you.
Trust and believe.

You don’t try to reason with
crazy.

Not everyone deserves the benefit
of doubt. Trust your instincts and never downplay your intelligence or gut
feeling.

Sometimes the truth is right
there, staring at you in the face but you can’t see it. Take the time to stop and
think.

Never underestimate the healing
power of time.

In relationships, operating from a
place of need, puts you in a position of weakness.

Nobody can know you more than you
know yourself.

Integrity- You either have it or
you don’t.

The Golden rule always applies. Do
unto others as you would like them to do to you. There’s a reason it’s called
the golden rule.

Don’t put a question mark where
God has put a period – Joel Osteen

It’s okay to really want to
believe in Karma even though you secretly have doubts because sometimes that’s
all you’ve got

Don’t let the past hold you
hostage.

What you are searching for could be right there all along.

You can never receive with hands that are closed. Let go of that relationship that you are struggling to hold on to so your hands can be free to receive the one that was meant for you.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

I hadn't planned on blogging today and i'm going to take the lazy man's way out of this cos i'm really tired. Ego du Jour put up a post which you can read HERE and Bumight responded HERE. You can get the gist of where i stand from the comments i left on both posts.

My main reason for blogging about this is pretty much to put the link up to the campaign to help this guy pay for med school. He has 23 days left. If you can afford to, help. You will be helping someone fulfill their dream. Life is hard enough as it is, med school is HARD enough and i can't imagine having to solicit for funds. There's nothing wrong in being your brother's keeper. People who want to keep their eyebrows raised, should keep their eyebrows raised. That's allowed too.

Bottom line for me in this issue is, let's not raise our noses at other people's struggles especially if you've never walked in their shoes. You never know what tomorrow has in store. Empathy is also a virtue.

Monday, August 6, 2012

First of all, ignore the changing blog titles cos i'm about to get really annoying until i find something i like. I have been a in shitty mood all afternoon and went to school a half hour ago to pick something up from my advisor. As i was about to walk in the building this white lady holds the door open for me and says "time to get work" or something along those lines. I was like wooh nelly, say what? That totally cracked me up and made me give her some serious side eye at the same time, but i was more amused than anything. She mistook me for one of the black cleaners who come in the evening to clean up the building. I was like woooohhhhhh, why does that have to be her first assumption? God forbid that i could possibly be a student, even if not med student, at least grad student, but nooooooo, i had to be a cleaner. Black people, shey you see? I'm going to need a LOT more of you to get your shit together and start going to school, preferably, my school. Please and thank you.

I know i've said it multiple times, my school is predominantly white and 99% of the cleaners are black, so in a way i don't blame her, but still, people shouldn't go making assumptions all willy nilly. U could end up looking like a fool. It got a chuckle and smile out of me sha, so it was all good. Then come to find out that the other student my advisor was also meeting had the same trauma surgeon as me this morning and had a similar experience, so i don't feel so bad anymore. I wish i got the first doctor who came in, he was way more easy going and full of jokes and didn't act like he had a stick up his ass. Mschewww.

I really want to paint my nails but don't have the patience for it. I guess i should just study. I don't need anyone to make me feel like a fool anymore this week.

I just finished watching the miniseries Wives and Daughters, it's a period drama. It's no Downton Abbey, but i would recommend it. It's just 4 episodes. It had me going awwwww.....at the end. I quite liked it.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

I think the Japanese are so smart. Imagine what this would do to their health care costs down the line. Obesity is related to so many diseases, best to nip in it the bud. This would most certainly not fly in America.
i

Saturday, August 4, 2012

I'm sure you all have all heard about Gabby and her hair controversy after she won the gold medal in gymnastics. To say i'm in shock would be an understatement. Are these people for real? I keep looking at her hair and i find nothing wrong with it for a 16 yr old gymnast, who is pretty much going to be flying around and needs her hair to stay in place. WHY is her HAIR of all things even an issue? This hair issue is getting out of hand in the black community. RIDICULOUS. First team natural vs team relaxed, now this? I think all AA women have lost the right to hair at this point. They should all go bald, so we can hear word and maybe have some peace. I'm so sick of African Americans and hair! Christ!

I'm sorry to say, but this is a perfect example of why *black people as a whole will never amount to much. Simple minded bitches. Instead of them to celebrate this young girl who has accomplished something major, they find something to criticize. Hair?!!!! They can't even stand together and be proud of their own. Of course, i know it's not all black people cos there are many of them too who are appalled by this, so this is directed at those who have something to say about Gabby's hair. You all need to just go dig a hole and bury yourselves. Get a freaking life and set your priorities straight. I can't with these people.

Nigerians vs Ghanaians.....what's up? I didn't know we hated each other so much. Tell me why the annihilation of the Nigerian bball team by US turned into a war between Nigerians and Ghanaians on twitter. I'm sure a lot of it was in the spirit of fun and we gave as good as we got, but i read a tweet that left me cold at the callousness of it.

The tweet about the plane crash was just wrong. I couldn't even get upset. I was just curious about the person who was capable of forming such thoughts and being comfortable enough to write it out. Not too impressed. I really didn't know Ghanaians hated Nigerians this much or we hate Ghanaians so much. How stupid is that? I think it's really stupid cos we are all Africans. Anyway, whatever, i don't have power to be hating a group of people for whatever reason. That's the height of joblessness. I love all my African people, don't care where you are from. Stop the madness people.

*black people = African/black American people. In the interest of clarity let me add this. First, i stand by my statement. When a community of people who are a minority to begin with can never come together to celebrate their own and are instead have individuals who are in the business of tearing each other down, there is a problem. I vividly remember when Obama was running for President, certain BLACK people coming out to saying he wasn't black enough or he wasn't really black. I watched that mess on TV and heard it with my own ears. Now someone won a gold medal and they are talking about hair. I see a lot of self hate going on, granted there's a historical context to that. So of course i'm not referring to individual black people because there are millions of them who are doing their thing. After all, when the rest of the world wants to label us as crooks and fraudsters, they don't care whether every Nigerian is into 419, that's the collective reputation we all have because unfortunately, we have a lot of princes that are in the business of dying and leaving money behind to be transferred.

Friday, August 3, 2012

This was taken a week ago and stolen from her facebook without permission. According to her "this is her grown look". She's a chief petty officer in the Navy (an E7, highest rank is E9, can u tell i am a proud sister? :)

So NOBODY guessed right. Myne said she could be between 15 and 50...Ahn ahn, Myne, which kind ojoro be that? You could have just said she could be anywhere between infancy and geriatric. lol. Ibhade came closest by saying mid 30's. She's actually 38! Proud mama to three teenagers.

Get it. Good genes. Thank you Jesus, cos that's how people be thinking i "just left puberty". Actual quote i got last year.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

This is one of my sisters. She knows i blog but doesn't read my blog so she can't kill me for this. I want you guys to guess her age, both the youngest and the oldest she could possibly be. She just took this picture 2 weeks ago.

What is the obsession women have with men and big penises? I don't get it, I never have and probably never will. I need someone to enlighten me. Is it the size that matters or what the person can do with he has? I actually think a too big penis might be a handicap. I have seen some that are so big, they're disgusting. There's a picture of a swimmer(?) going around and that's all people can talk about. I have 5 more minutes left of my break so I will talk about this when i get home, in the mean time, someone please enlighten me what the big deal is cos I don't think its the size that matters.

This is lethal!

ETA
I just got home and i'm rereading this. I forgot that most of my readers are Nigerians......LOL. We don't talk about these things. I shall be conducting my research elsewhere.

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