How do I go about getting a buddy?

HEY NESSA! PEOPLE CAN BE REALLY CRUEL SOMETIMES! I TOO WAS OVER WEIGHT AND SUFFERED FROM LOW SELF ESTEEM. I WOULD CONSTANTLY LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ALWAYS PICK OUT WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME. I STILL SOMETIMES CATCH MY SELF DOING IT! YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU OR THINK ABOUT YOU. NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO CRITISIZE YOU. IF YOU LET THEM GET TO YOU, YOU WILL NEVER REACH YOUR GOAL. IF YOU FEEL SAD OR STRESSED GO FOR A WALK OR POP IN AN EXERCISE VIDEO AND LET OUT YOUR FRUSTRATIONS. TAEBO IS GREAT FOR THAT! JUST ACT LIKE YOUR PUNCHING OR KICKING WHOEVER IS SAYING STUFF ABOUT YOU! YOU WILL FEEL BETTER IN NO TIME! YOU CAN WRITE TO ME ANYTIME SWEETIE OK? GOOD LUCK!

Hi, I just started my diet and working out just 9 day's ago. I'm wanting to loose 60 lbs. by spring. I haven't been very good in the past at this but I'm going to do it this time!!! I would love to have a buddy that has the same goal--Please write!!!

I know what u r saying about bulemia being bad and all but i've looked up sites about it and i really don't think i have it. I only have a couple of symptoms of it and i can totally control what i am doing. Surely u have to vomit on a regular basis to be bulemic?

Honey, you really need to be eating more! Are you calling biscuits cookies? And buemia(where you eat, but you vomit it all up) is something VERY serious. Making yourself vomit even 1 time can mean that you ARE bulemic! It can cause a lot of damage to your body, and your self esteem. My best friend is anorexic(where you don't eat) and she eats about as much as you do. I really suggest that you A. look into some books on REAL nutrition, adn B. don't worry about what the other kids are saying...you NEED TO EAT!! If you are not eating, you are starving your body. When your're starving your body, your body holds on to EVERYTHING that you eat, because it thinks that you are going thru a famine..so it want's to store as much fat for later use as possible.(so you don't die)...therefore, everything turns into fat, and you don't LOSE WEIGHT, YOU GAIN IT!! How do your parents let you eat only a bowl of cereal, an apple and a couple of biscuits all day?? What about dinner/supper? That just seems like way too little food for a youg woman!! I eat WAY more than that!! I've never been a small girl, but I've always been in decent shape. you're 16? when I was your age, I was between a 12-14.... (not small by any means...and I thought I was fat, but I really REALLY wasn't!!) What size you are doesn't matter. YOU matter!! Please doll, take care of your self!! I really want you to be around..not dead from malnutrition or starvation!!!!!!! You seem like a very good person to be on this site with! Please read up on eating disorders..even if only on the net. Figure out a GOOD/HEALTHY eating/exercise program...eat veggies, and make sure to get PROTIEN in your diet!! Protien helps you gain muscle....and muscle burns fat! therefore, eat meat or beans or fish or something that has protein!! ok?!?! We're all here for you if you have any more questions, or just want to talk! Anytime!!!

I live at home in the UK and go to a mixed school. I only moved here two years ago from 100 miles away and from an all girls school. I can't really talk to my mum about anything like that. I get too embarrassed and end up asking a stupid question. When i was about 10 my mum started letting us have a drink of milk and some biscuits at about 7pm, after our tea. Now we're still allowed that but she trusts us to get it for ourselves, that's what i meant by 'allowed a couple of biscuits'.

Funky

PS. I'll try that sight and what you've suggested. I am doing home ec for GCSE and so i know something about nutrition already

It's no wonder you are sneaking food up to your room. You are not eating enough food and hardly any protein during the day. Please talk to your mother if at all possible and if she would be helpful. Please get yourself to a library ASAP, plus use the Internet including information posted on this board, to read up on everything possible about nutrition. I don't understand the statement "allowed to eat a couple of biscuits" - - does this have something to do with your parents being on diets? Also do a search to find out what you can about anorexia and bulimia. You should be eating probably at least 2000 calories per day that includes at least 80 to 100 grams of good quality protein, plenty of fruits and vegies, some whole grains and legumes (beans and peas), and some healthy fats as in nuts, olive oil, and peanut oil.

Are you living at home or at a boarding school? Are you in the United Kingdom somewhere?

You are not an elephant. You are a beautiful girl with great potential to become a world class woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, i have a bowl of cereal for breakfast, an apple for lunch and a little biscuit thing as a snack at break time. When i get home i have tea and then we're allowed something like a couple of biscuits for supper. But i sneak food up to my room and eat it there. Sometimes I have made myself sick, about maybe 7 times. But surely this doesn't count as bulimia as it is only occasionally. I am surrounded by really pretty thin girls in my lessons and feel embarrassed to eat lunch coz then if i eat a big lunch then they'll make comments. It hasn't been as bad this year and most people have stopped but a few people carry on. I put on a brave front and ignore it but inside i cry. I just don't know what to do. My parents are on diets anyway. My mum went on a healthy thing and my dad goes and works out at the gym. I can't talk to my parents about it coz i am too embarressed. I can't even talk to my freinds at my new skool because i am not as close to them as i was to my friends at the all girls school i attended before i went to the mixed school i am at now. The only support i recieve is from people here and that is only for the few minutes it takes me to read peoples comments. It also makes me feel worse to read the things that say 'i was size 3 until i had my son/daughter and now i am a size 16.' It makes me feel like an elephant.

Are you eating a good healthy breakfast, lunch, and snack before you get home from school? If you are starving your body during the first part of the day, you may be going after those after school foods to compensate plus go overboard - - this is what your body will tell you to do if you are skipping meals and snacks.

What you can do: Check out a good book on nutrition from your school or public library and arm yourself with knowledge. Enlist the help of your parents - they might need to improve their nutritional lifestyle as well.

A lot of things are called eating disorders; however, I believe that the overeating part of an eating disorder is often due to poor nutrition. To carry an eating disorder further, you would be participating in other behaviors such as severe food restriction, excessive exercise, laxative abuse, and self-induced vomiting. All of these behaviors are very unhealthy and even dangerous. I don't know the numbers for death due to anorexia or bulimia but the adult female population today is definitely less than it would have been without the existence of these behaviors - - - and even one death is one too many.

Use SparkPeople and the support here to help you develop a healthy lifestyle. Good Luck.

Hi guys, I find that, as many people have said, fod is my biggest downfall. I actually like doing escercise once i get started (and i've started doing what u sugested Blue Eyes) I'm ok till i get home from school and then i just start to eat and eat. I take food up to my room nd just watch tv or go on the internet while i eat. I have to lock my door though incase anyone sees me. My friend was reading an article in one of the teenage magazines about Disordered eating and she thinks i may have this. I wasn't usre what to say or even what it is. Does anyone else know? Thanks My email is head_in_a_cloud@hotmail.com if anyone wants to email me.

me too....as I eat a donut...it's donut day every friday, and I always feel like I'm obligated to eat one, since I have to buy them every so often......like today, it was my day, so how do I not eat something that I bought for the whole office? I just love my food too much, that's why I am becoming(slowly) and exercise freak! (that can't keep a streak going, but oh well, i'm trying..right?!?!)

Things on this end are the same. Good on exercise...real bad on food. I am just always munching...my biggest downfall! I did get the Walk away the pounds videos last week and am loving them so far. We shall see if they do what they say. I am open to buddies...my email is melaniesilva@hotmail.com---be sure and write something about Sparks people in the subject line so I don't delete it...I GET SO MUCH CRAP E-MAIL! Anyways. I just seem to find myself sabatoging myself when it comes to food. It's awful.

Wow do you sound like me!! Hi Im Rosemary. I have good days and not so good days. I am doing great on the exercise but not the food. If you want a buddy you can email me anytime. r_berlincourt@hotmail.com. Together maybe we can find something that works!!

I began working out with just walking. First it was for 20 min, then 30...then an hour. I ended up just loving my walks. Then I started inserting 100 yard runs into my walks, at anytime I thought I could run. At first 100 yards was all I could run, but now, I'm running about 2 miles! and it's only been 6-7 months!! I feel a ton better about myself, eventhough I know I havent' lost all the weight/size I want to, but I knwo I'm getting there. It's not a quick road, but it's one worth taking. Now I've began kickboxing classes, and it's awesome! I love them, and they're a lot of fun, and a lot of sweat! We do about 100 push ups a night, and 200 sit ups. It's amazing! I always want to do more sit ups. That's something I recommend you do all the time...everyday....work on your abs. This is going to sound like a lot, but if you want a firm belly, do about 400 crunches a night. Do all sorts of variations of them...one that is great for the lower belly is lay on your back, hands behind your head, and instead of lifting your uppper body, put your legs to the ceiling and lift your butt. It is an amazing lower workout! I'm sure that you can find a site that has instructions on different crunches! Good luck to all of you ladies, and remember, we're all right there with you!! That's why were here!

I began working out with just walking. First it was for 20 min, then 30...then an hour. I ended up just loving my walks. Then I started inserting 100 yard runs into my walks, at anytime I thought I could run. At first 100 yards was all I could run, but now, I'm running about 2 miles! and it's only been 6-7 months!! I feel a ton better about myself, eventhough I know I havent' lost all the weight/size I want to, but I knwo I'm getting there. It's not a quick road, but it's one worth taking. Now I've began kickboxing classes, and it's awesome! I love them, and they're a lot of fun, and a lot of sweat! We do about 100 push ups a night, and 200 sit ups. It's amazing! I always want to do more sit ups. That's something I recommend you do all the time...everyday....work on your abs. This is going to sound like a lot, but if you want a firm belly, do about 400 crunches a night. Do all sorts of variations of them...one that is great for the lower belly is lay on your back, hands behind your head, and instead of lifting your uppper body, put your legs to the ceiling and lift your butt. It is an amazing lower workout! I'm sure that you can find a site that has instructions on different crunches! Good luck to all of you ladies, and remember, we're all right there with you!! That's why were here!

It's so easy to let yourself fall into the I'm too fat trap. No you're not. society is just too skinny!! well, not really, it's just the models that we as women compare ourselves to. I think it's great that you all want to lose weight. It'll make you feel a billion times better, just remember dont' get discouraged if in the first weeks, or even months you don't lose anything. It took me 5 months to start losing weight. I almost gave up! I just kept thinking to myself, if it's taking this long for it to come off now, how long will it take when i'm in my 30's??? I'm only 22, and I have put on about 30 lbs since I began college...now, I have dropped about 10 of that, and I'm finally on my way to feeling good about myself. I just recently signed up at a karate studio for kickboxing(tae geri..I think that's the real name for it!), and I love it! It totally focuses on the butt and thighs!! after about two weeks of classes, I was told that I had amazing quadriceps!! I haven't had anyone compliment my legs in years!! It felt great! I think I'm losing some of my nasty nasty cottage cheese too! I think that's the worst part of my program...I want that all gone now!! I'm just basically telling you ladies, that if you stick with it, you WILL lose it!

funky, I'm right there with you. My stomach isn't that bad except for that little chubby part under your belly button that you always see women having the biggest problems with working their stomachs there, my butt and thighs, My biggest problem is my thighs. So I've been focusing on those areas more than anything because it makes my body look very disporportioned. Spelling on that. so here are some exercises that have helped me so far. For thighs ride a bike. if you have the ones that you can change the intensity try staring on what feels a little hard to do then each week working up a notch. I did it while I was pregnant and lost about 25 pounds doing it. Then got told I had to stop my exercises cause it was causing me to have contractions so I gained it all back. Walking is also good. Wherever and whenever you can walk do it. When you go to the store or the mall with your parents ask them to park at the back so you can walk and get some extra exercise in. Or they can drop you off and park closer. Since you'll be walking a lot in side it won't really matter if you walk back out. You can also do the following which I do 3 times a day everyday. Wearing movable pants that will keep you warm and maybe even make you sweat a little, walk 10 minutes jog ten minutes, walk back home. Slowly increase your jogging time to not only help yourself with your hips and thighs but it's also a great stress realiever. Put your foot on something that is equal height to your hip with your foot flexed ( toes pointing up and you pulling it back as hard as you can) and bend the knee of the leg you are standing on. I do those 20 times on each leg. I also do leg kicks. Stand on one leg with your knee slightly bent and raise the other leg with your knee bent and kick out to the side. 30 times on each side is a real workout for those. If you need to hold on to something to keep your balance that's fine. A very easy way to loose your butt and stomach is every time you sit down tighten your butt muscles and keep them tight for 30 seconds after you sit. Every time you stand up tighten your stomach muscles. Keep both tight as much as you can while just standing sitting walking or doing whatever cause the more you hold your muscles tight the stronger they become meaning the more muscle you are building and yes even though you will end up weighting more you'll look better and feel better. also something that helps with your hips too is to stand with your feet shoulder whith apart and bend your knees as far as you can without putting your knees over you toes and then stand again. If you have bad knees I wouldn't suggest this because it can cause more damage. This is something my ballet teacher taught me when I was still in dance. 3 weeks before the recital and knowing I would always gain weight cause I'd be so nervus she taught me a fast trick to slim my waist. lay on your back on the floor and pull your knees up so your feet are flat. then turn your legs side to side pushing your knees as far to the floor as you can, keeping you back flat on the floor. Keep going from side to side for as long as you can or untill you feel something start to burn. The more you do exercises when you feel your muscles burning means the more you are doing and means the more chance you have or forming the muscles the way you want. Hope you enjoy these. They aren't that hard. I was doing them 3 days after I had my daughter. I shouldn't have been but I was cause I didn't want to wait untill my 4 weeks were up. oh well... I'm getting back in shape now I'm almost to the point that I can run a mile.

Did you ever get that Walk Away The Pounds video? I saw about 5 different Leslie Sansone videos at the store the other day and got to wondering if you decided to go for it. If you do have it, do you like it?

I read an article about Dr. Phil but I haven't seen him in action yet. He is going to have his own show.

Hey guys, Hang in there. I am a huge believer that what you tell yourself results in what you believe and feel. Don't let other determine the outcome. I was once (when I was 18-19) very thin, and now that I am 28 and have had a baby, well a size 16 or 18. My problem is that when I was a size 3/4 I told myself I was fat. So I have now lived up to it. I know I need to reorganize my thinking. And with the help of others and positive versue negative reinforcement can really help. SOOOOOO Hang in there. You can lose weight. All of us can. We all deserve better things in our lives than being overweight and knocking ourselves for it. If we were okay with being overweight and happy with it, then it would be just fine. Unfortunately it isn't okay with any of us, and so we need to do something about it. I have really decided that life is just too short to feel miserable and bad about myself because I am overweight. Now it's just losing it! HA HA! A minor step. Do any of you ever watch Dr. Phil on Oprah? I am a big believe in his theories.

Hey, Just being able to talk to someone about it is making me feel better already. I don't feel like i'm the only person in the world who feels like this anymore. My realy problem areas are my bum, stomach and thighs. I have quite big hips and i would be ok about being curvy if i could just lose the extra flab that i'm carrying right now. luv Nessa

Well hello funky and butterfly. I think I got those names right. Hope this makes you both feel better. I'm 17 about to be 18 and just had a baby 6 weeks ago. I was a size 7 before and am now a size 14. It's only 7 sizes up and I know that I can get the weight off. I just have no motivation. Maybe the four of us can all be weight loss buddies. There is also a weight loss buddies sign up here forum on the sparkpeople cafe. A lot of us are on there too. Also check the e-mail list at the same place. You can pick someone and they could be your personal buddy if you don't like to post your progress on the site. Which I think that when you do and you get all the "good job"s it makes it worth it. and it gives you more motivation to keep the work up. Hey funky, don't worry about what kids says at school. I let it get to me and ended up going to homeschooling and then lost all my friends cause we had nothing in common anymore. And I'm 5'3 and weight 153. size 14 pants and a size 5 shirt. needless to say by my sizes, my body is very oddly shaped now.

If the 2 of you tell me your problem areas I might be able to come up with some exeercises. I'm getting ready to go to college to be a physical therapist/ health and exercise insturctor.

Funky_Nessa,Maybe this will help.I wear a size 16and I am only 4'10".That's really chunky for such a short person.Well,some people say I'm not that big,but It seems huge compared to the size3's I did wear before I had my first baby.

Not having a "buddy" to talk to while I go through this whole diet thing really scares me.It makes me feel like I may not be able to stick to it.I am 21 years old and I have had 2 kids.Before I became pregnant with the first I wore a size 3-5.Then I thought I was fat,but now I know I've really put on some weight and I'm really scared that I won't be able to drop it.

Umm hi. I'm 15 years old and i just feel fat. I'm a size 12 on top and a 16 in trousers. I don't know if that sounds big to you or not. I was wondering about the buddy system coz i really need support to help me get down to a size 10. I usually start out well every week but by half way through i get so down with the comments at skool that i give up. I really need the support. Can you help?

I know how you feel about loosing the weight then gaining it back. I had my daughter July 17 of this year and in 2 weeks went from my pre-pregnanct wieght of 165 to 135. I was SO excited. My doctor had told me that I was allowd to do anything that didn't hurt me so I did sit ups and leg lifts and walked. I got weighted at the wic office and they said I was doing VERY good. so I guess giving me a compliment wasn't a very good idea. Cause 2 weeks after that I had my post partom check up and got weighted and weighted 151. Which even though I'm still under my pre-pregnancy weight it's still depressing to know that I thought I could still eat what I wanted and not exercise and stay at that weight. Well I've been working on getting my times back up. I've been walking 3 times a day and jogging half of each walk, then doing 20 sit ups 3 times a day to get my stomach down so I can fit in my wedding dress.

Understand only too well. I finished nursing my daughter in April. I was hungry all the time. Problem is I still am and can't seem to gain control over that aspect very well. I lost all my baby weight within about 6-8 weeks, but have put 15 of it back on! SHEESH!

I started a weight loss buddies sign up here forum on spark people cafe. There have been a few responces. I'm in the same boat as you. I would rather eat chips and pizza and do twice the exercise than to just eat right. Trying to get out of that since I'm nursing my daughter.

I joined this about a month ago. Somedays I take it more seriously than others, but I am desperately trying to get back down to a smaller size! I am not sure exactly how the "Buddy" program really works, but it interests me. Support really makes a difference. I am doing great on exercise, but eating is a WHOLE different boat! HELP!

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