Just a day after Hurricane Sandy took lives, drowned the subway and ate almost all of the electricity in Manhattan, Brazilian actress-model-reality-star-fame-whore-thing Nana Gouvêa took to the streets with her husband to document all of the devastation the only way she knew how: by posing on top of it. The pictures were spread everywhere, Nana became a meme and Phoebe Price’s successor was found!

But in an interview with Vice, Nana says it wasn’t a photo shoot, she’s not a model and she wasn’t posing. All of this started when the Brazilian magazine Ego (that’s too perfect) called her in NYC and interviewed her about Super Storm Sandy. The interviewer from Ego then asked Nana if she could go out and take a few pictures for the story. So Nana and her husband went out to take some super serious National Geographic-like pictures for Ego. Nana says she was not posing, that’s just how she naturally moves. We shouldn’t blame her for the fact that her gorgeous looks are more devastating than the devastation that was around her. We shouldn’t blame her for the fact that her beauty and grace upstaged the chaos.

Vice’s interview with Nana is more ridiculously hilarious than her not-at-all posed pictures and I didn’t think that was possible. Nana makes everything seem possible now. Here’s a big piece of the interview and click over to Vice to get it all:

VICE: Hi Nana. I just wanted to talk to you a bit about the modeling shoot you did after Hurricane Sandy. Nana Gouvêa: No, it’s not a modeling shoot. It was never a modelling shoot—I just took some snapshots with my husband because I was interviewed by someone in Brazil and they wanted photos. It was not a modeling shoot.

Oh, OK. What was the interview about?The hurricane, of course. The Brazilian magazine Ego called me to interview me about the hurricane and, at the end, they asked me if I could take some pictures to send to them as imagery for the article. I’m not a model, though. I want to make that clear.

What do you do?
I’m an actress. That’s my one profession. Period. I’m not a model. I was in Playboy once, but all the most beautiful and famous actresses do Playboy—that doesn’t mean we’re models.

Surely that means you’ve been a paid model, though? Even if it was only for a couple of hours, or whatever.
No, I don’t agree with you.

Fair enough. Your poses are quite model-y. They look good.
That’s just how I am. There’s no posing. I’m like that every single day of my life. I was being the most natural, yet serious, as I possibly could be. You don’t see me smiling or making jokes, do you? I was serious.

So the photos were intended to reflect how serious the disaster was?Yes. I wasn’t showing my legs, I wasn’t showing my arms or my breasts. Was I wearing a sexy outfit? No. I didn’t have make-up on and my hair wasn’t done up, or anything. It was just normal, not a photo-shoot. What a ridiculous idea.

In one photo, have you actually climbed into the tree?Yes, I was trying to show the devastation.

Right. Have you had any bad reactions over the photos since they came out?
Yeah, because you guys in the media are saying it was a photo-shoot. This simply isn’t true and I’m very, very offended. So many people were taking pictures of the devastation, so why do people say that I was trying to get some kind of advantage out of this?

No idea.
It’s because you put the sex appeal on me. That’s down to you. It’s the media who think I’m sexy, so they’re putting that on me.

Do you think the main problem is just that you’re sexier than all the ugly people who’ve been in other photos?Unfortunately, yes. People look at me and they see a beautiful woman. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me, either. It’s very bad and so unfair. I really hope that people stop having these preconceptions of me. Just because I’m beautiful and have loads of sex appeal, it doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person. It’s not my fault that you see the pictures and you think I’m beautiful or sexy.

See! It’s not Nana’s fault that when she stands on a fallen tree she looks like something out of the pages of Vogue. When Nana leans up against a destroyed car, it’s not her fault that she looks like the star of Barbizon’s picture of the year. You have blood running through your veins, but Nana has potent sexiness running through hers. She didn’t ask to be born beautiful, extremely photogenic and naturally alluring. How dare all of you! You can make this better by texting FUNANA to the Red Cross and your donation will go toward helping the plight of the sexy people.

I swear, Nana is delusional, self-absorbed and shameless. She’s already one of us. Welcome to America, Nana! The Kardashians should adopt her.

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