You get darn little monster out of this "monster movie" my friends. What you do get is a postal employee tasked with defending Earth against a 180 foot tall advesary. Zarkorr looks fairly cool, unfortunately the special effects around him are not. I found some of the dialog extremely entertaining though, especially the way people act upon finding out Tommy works for the U.S. Postal Service. Our hero is visited by "The Proctor" who dumps a whole load of whoop-ass in his lap, he must stop Zarkorr or Earth will be destroyed! So he manages to recruit Stephanie, George, and Arthur to assist him and together they come up with a plan. A plan which involves Tommy going toe to toe with this titan! I'll leave the ending a surprise so I don't ruin it for you...

Things I Learned From This Movie:

TV sets in New Jersey can pick up the news in Japan.

Superior beings have no common sense.

One out of every two cops are serious alien conspiracy-theory freaks.

The National Guard uses Stinger air-to-air missles against rampaging monsters.

Computer hackers are always slightly insane, paralyzed from the waist down, unwashed, and able to hack NORAD.

Giant monsters are classified as endangered species.

Monsters cause nearby buildings to explode for no obvious reason.

Stuff To Watch For:

3 mins - Laser sounds, holes being punched out of the mountain, strange lights - and these idiots yell, "Avalanche?"

Yeah, but was it any good? Bragging rights, I suppose... but do you really wanna say, "Hey, I knocked the bottom out of that chick in Zarkorr!?" I wouldn't admit to that... well, maybe I would, since she's pretty attractive... but that whole being in Zarkorr thing... I dunno.

My favorite is when the buildings are falling down, and you can not only see the lightbulb that makes the buildings light up, but you can watch the windows BOUNCE and wobble as they hit the ground!!!!! Damn - I want that proctor chic - damn you!

I watched "Zarkorr!: The Invader" as an illegally copied tape in Jamaica. (It seems all video stores in Jamaica have only illegally copied tapes). I enjoyed parts of the movie, although I had smoked a fat spliff prior to watching it. Actually, one part nearly made me pee my pants with laughter (might've been the spliff). It was a line from the main character - ended in "...until Zarkorr comes along and squashes me!" God, I watched that scene like 20 times, then I went and ate a can of condensed milk. Weed is weird.