Now you can own a lock of Justin Bieber's hair, you sick freak

To quote notable news source Brand X (in an earlier post that's since been corrected): "Crises continue to rage in the Middle East, but here at Brand X HQ, we're only concerned with the serious news of the day: Justin Bieber's haircut." Yes, it was the snip was heard around the world. But for some, including purported hair enthusiast Ellen DeGeneres, that was not enough. She tweeted on her birthday that she wanted a lock of Bieber's hair on the big day, and because she used that stealthy thing where you substitute the name of a person with their "Twitter handle" (all the rage), Bieber heard, and made it happen.

If only the story ended there. Ellen has decided that instead of keeping it around for viewing/petting/mustache-replicating, she's going to auction it off.