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Generally speaking, I am a very joyful person. You know that. I don’t have to tell you that. You may know that I am actually a Reverend. I have married people, and am actually marrying a couple this Friday. This piece, however, is not a joyful piece. It is petty and small, but needs to be said. First off, I am calling off my fatwa against the horrible monster of a human Robert Novak. He just announced he has brain cancer and then retired from writing immediately. A week before he ran over an elderly pedestrian in his sports car and didn’t even know it. Point made. Novak won’t be a problem anymore.

While these pages are meant to celebrate greatness in culture like Nelson Mandela, or myself… there are those who are enemies of goodness. Specifically, I want to highlight the worst person on earth. Rev. Fred Phelps. Look at that visage up top. That is what hate does to you.

Now, know that this has NOTHING to do with religion. True, I do have my beefs with religion… but this is not one. This is against Rev. Fred. Why do I hate Rev Fred? Why do I call for him to be struck dead? Why am I declaring a ‘fatwa’ against this douchebag. Tell you why; he is the ‘god hates fags’ guy. He doesn’t just believe that god hates gays, he believes (seriously) that now god hates EVERYONE because we tolerate gays. Yeah. wtf is that? This guy (and his church lemmings) goes to soldiers funerals with signs that says ‘god hates fags’. You ask, gay soldiers? No, ALL soldiers.

Like Falwell, this dingus believes god created war and the tragedies of Sept 11th to teach us a lesson about tolerance of gays. You probably think I am using hyperbole and exagerration to make a point. While that is often the case here, no. Dude’s church URL is actually this www.godhatesfags.com

There is no god who hates anyone. There is no decent or respectable church on earth that hates anyone. Anyone who delivers a message of anything other than tolerance and love is an abomination and he shall suffer. I will not rest until Rev Fred suffers the horrible injustice he has heaped onto American soldiers families by boycotting their funerals. In addition, with a bit of a psychology background… dude doth protest too much. Get it? Historically, any time someone comes up with that much anti-gay rage… they are gay. Ask Sen Craig, ask, Karl Rove, ask J Edgar Hoover, ask Ted Haggard. All great gays of history, and all famous gay haters.

God doesn’t hate fags, Rev. God doesn’t hate anyone. That’s not his deal. I don’t hate anyone either, except you. Ooooh, burn! Live with that, you old cracker! This is why Rev Fred Phelps is the worst human on earth. Yes, even worse than David Caruso.