I agree with you 100% (so YANBU) and yet I met my DH on OD (so actually YABU ).... to abuse a simile, OD is like digging through piles of shit with one's bare hands to find a possibly non-existent diamond (and trying not to get too suicidal in the process).

There are many worse things than going into middle age single and child-free OP. Only you can decide what is important for your life. I was feeling perfectly perky about my lovely career, owning my own home, not having kids etc...and then DH swans along a whisker before my 40th and we are about to start IVF.

My only advice is stick to the paid sites (as that at least eliminates one layer of shit) and delete anyone who doesn't want to meet up after a few email. Some married men just seem to want porn pen pals - be ruthless and don't waste time on the dross.

funny, i signed up about four days ago, I've put up two pictures although they're blurred. I've filled in my profile 100%. I've had a couple of views. A few messages from blokes in their 50s who look like they're standing next to their tractors. I messaged one man and he didn't reply to me! (He was online though). Then out of the blue, a man from the The Netherlands messaged me and we sparked up a very easy but really very pointless chat.

what is the point! I paid for this! Argh. I'd be better off sending over a round of drinks to a group of men in a pub wouldn't I? That'd get their attention.

Happilymarriedxpat even though I'm a divorced single parent, I still like a happy ending so congratulations!

I disagree about going for paid sites though. I think that the site 'matched' me with people and a few sent smiles. I lost my mind, got out my credit card to say hello. No reply. So either the man I messaged isn't able to reply cos he hasn't paid up, or he doesn't want to, I'm not sure which.

But I think the site matches you with people who haven't paid. It's in the site's financial interest to match you with people who can't even reply to you!

I met my now DH online, he's truly lovely. He had a properly - written, interesting profile (a rare thing in OLD), sent friendly, non-creepy messages and we met up within weeks of messaging. There are decent men on there, but unfortunately they're well - hidden! I nearly gave up after my first week online and am so glad I didn't!

YABU. I met my wonderful DH via OLD. And in the couple of months I was on it before I met him, I went on dates with truly nice, friendly and interesting people.This was 10 years ago now though... It may have changed!

Fireblade keep looking! I agree that the paid/not paid thing is annoying when you want to contact someone. On the non-paid sites, I just met men who were looking to get their end away with minimal effort too mean to even pay a subscription but even the paid sites are no guarantee against that.

One local guy on POF invited me to go to his house on a Sunday afternoon and suggested that I "bring some beer because you have to go past Morrisons on your way". I politely declined. Now-DH OTOH left a 5 kilo box of cherries on my doorstep the morning after our first date just cos I said I liked them! Completely different to most of the OD men I met and I inwardly rejoiced that I could stop hating men again!

I don't regret OD now I have met my DH, but you need the hide of a rhino. I regularly deleted my profile then got stuck in the same old rut socially and reactivated it...eventually it paid off, but there is a lot of luck involved. And I worry that women who struggle with their self-esteem might find it very bruising indeed yes, I am looking at you, shitty man who told me I was "below his acceptable standard for looks" and too old

I met DH on OLD completely agree it's painful and aweful. But it was the best option for me to meet new folk given my circumstances. I personally prefer the pay for sites that match you to people. Hang in there.

OP I really tried to think of the whole thing as a bit of fun and not have any expectations. Most of the men who were nasty were actually not men I would seriously contemplate dating in RL (e.g. Mr "below acceptable standard" was late 50's and had a toupee - if he had propositioned me in a bar, I would have laughed in his face (or politely declined!) )

Until you have actually met a man you want to spend you life with (and maybe have kids with) , you are not "missing out" - so who gives a crap what a bunch of socially maladjusted, bitter strangers think? At the same time, why not put yourself in the best position to meet one if that is what you want to do eventually?

I know there are a hundred worse things to be than single, but just the same, since my dad died two years ago I have been very conscious of the fact that there isn't anyone alive who really loves me or cares for me. My friends are GREAT - it's no criticism of them! - but obviously with small children themselves and husbands and partners they take precedence.

I feel like I would really like to be in a relationship but I just don't know if I can foresee it happening.

Re going it alone - it's something I think I would do, yes (whether I should do it brings up a thousand other questions!) but I feel as if I should try to meet someone first ... That said, as my 35th birthday hovers I do feel under pressure.