Friday, September 25, 2009

In Which I Recount a Dream*

Sometimes I’m better at things when I go away for awhile and then come back again. So there, away I went. Not purposely. Well, maybe purposely. But purposefully, too.

It’s a strange thing about finding your voice. Part of it, for me, is the struggle of allowing the search. And part of it is the battle to convince yourself that it matters, one way or the other, that you do find it.

I had the most wonderful dream last night. It was a yard sale (so many of my dreams center around yard sales, the wonderful white-elephant world, those everyday portals to the subconscious). I was admiring a rustic, folk art, hewn together set of drawers. The kind of object that draws me in, that could only have been made by its maker, the kind of thing that shouts of history and story and love. It was reasonably priced ($60 dollars) but I couldn’t figure out how to ship it home, (I was on an island…less romantic than it sounds).

Who should appear but my mother. And she appears and I know that not only will she get it for me, but she will figure out how to get it to my home. And then my brother Tim is there, and I know he’s going to help. It was the feeling of being taken care of. It was the feeling of being spared regret, longing, and remorse. It was the deep feeling of comfort.

Strange and wonderful and glorious. I can count on one hand the number of good dreams I’ve had about my mother since she died. In fact, I could count them on the toes of a sloth, if you know what I mean. Good signs, people, good signs.

*Recounting dreams rates second only, on the scale of that-which-bores, to retelling (preferably in an office setting) any skit from Monty Python's Flying Circus. But this is my blog. And I get to write what I want. (See. Look at her go!)

4 comments:

au contraire -- i enjoy hearing retold dreams, and retelling, as i have some vivid ones, too. this one's a very nice sign, indeed.(i also prefer monty python retelling to most current tv show retelling) :)

I found your dream very interesting. I have never had a dream in which my parents helped me out of a situation. I have no brothers or sisters. So I found your dream very revealing as to the type of relationship you must have had and support you must have felt from your mother. I often ask my children about how they in our home and it is very different from the puritan up bringing that I had.

Sharing real stories even dreams ...and who knows maybe they are more real than we think...is always fun and is what our "pre-industrial revolution" ancestors would have done.

May I steal your dream imagery and draw it? I see this woman with a 'chest' of drawers, literally, and the rest of the picture will come if I have permission from the dreamer. I will then post it on my blog (anon. dreamer of course)and let you know its up.