Prospectus Hit List for April 9

Hit List for April 8
Hit List for April 11Hit List updates are published Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, starting April 2, 2014. Data presented here is based on games through the day prior to publication.Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Cause we got the hit hit hiiiit list and we got a hit hit list, and we're gonna let it burn.

6

2

5.3

4.5

4.4

.586

.567

28.9%

36.5%

65.4%

0.4%

13.0%

4

3

3.9

4.8

5.0

.567

.547

20.1%

20.9%

41.0%

-0.8%

5.1%

Craig Kimbrel currently has a 0.00 WHIP in three innings with six strikeouts. Small sample size, but that number should soon regress to -50.00 WHIP and all strikeouts.

10

4

4

4.7

5.0

4.9

.525

.545

10.5%

6.2%

16.6%

4.0%

0.4%

11

5

2

4.5

4.3

4.2

.564

.545

15.2%

11.3%

26.5%

2.0%

3.4%

18th century pirates didn't regress to the mean, so why should these ones?

12

5

3

5.7

5.4

5.4

.550

.530

2.2%

4.0%

6.2%

-1.3%

0.3%

Giancarlo Stanton had that wonderful dream again where he tethers himself to his own home run and leaves Miami forever :)

13

3

4

3.2

3.8

4.1

.496

.516

14.1%

7.4%

21.5%

-3.2%

-0.4%

The Royals don't have a home run yet, as they're all waiting for Billy Butler to leg one out inside the park.

14

3

5

3.6

3.8

3.8

.495

.515

23.8%

24.7%

48.5%

1.1%

-4.6%

It remains to be seen what the team will grow in solidarity this year; here's hoping it's bell peppers.

15

3

5

3.9

3.3

3.3

.485

.505

34.1%

22.1%

56.2%

-0.1%

2.0%

If Josh Hamilton is going to bat well this year, that's an entire folder of jokes I'll need to burn for fuel.

16

4

4

3.0

3.7

3.4

.481

.501

16.0%

17.8%

33.8%

-7.0%

-0.1%

In Yangervis Solarte, the Yankees finally have something the Red Sox don't: a hitting sensation cast off by the Minnesota Twins!

17

4

3

3.4

2.9

2.9

.479

.499

17.3%

10.5%

27.8%

4.4%

0.9%

Over the weekend Cleveland traded for Colt Hynes for Duke von Schamann and Preston Guilmet for Torsten Boss. In a related story, your name is boring and stupid.

18

5

3

3.9

3.4

3.4

.517

.497

50.8%

13.9%

64.7%

0.4%

-0.3%

Jhonny Peralta has two hits on the season, both of them home runs. He'll run the bases when he's darn ready.

19

4

4

3.3

2.8

2.9

.457

.477

10.9%

15.4%

26.4%

2.2%

-0.9%

Wow, Mark Buehrle is throwing some heat! Never mind, the radar gun is stuck on km/h.

20

4

4

3.2

2.8

2.8

.453

.473

16.1%

14.9%

31.1%

1.1%

-1.6%

The Rangers have three home runs on the year and two of them are by Elvis Andrus and Robinson Chirinos.

21

4

5

4.2

4.7

4.6

.486

.466

3.1%

11.0%

14.1%

-2.6%

1.5%

Colorado has also been in better spirits ever since the state Congress legalized recreational Tulowitzki.

22

3

5

3.8

2.7

2.8

.433

.453

3.8%

8.5%

12.3%

2.1%

-5.3%

Delmon Young batted second yesterday for the first time in six years and recorded three hits, including a home run, pushing his inevitable release back a month to, let's say, July.

23

3

4

3.1

2.7

2.7

.428

.447

5.2%

3.0%

8.2%

1.1%

1.9%

Joe Mauer moves to first base and yet his backup has 11 more RBI than him.

24

3

4

3.3

3.3

3.2

.467

.447

7.4%

8.5%

15.9%

-3.3%

-2.8%

There have been eight three-homer games by players in Citizens Bank Park. Two of them (Ryan Howard, Jayson Werth) was done by a Phillie.

25

2

6

3.0

3.9

3.7

.449

.430

11.4%

11.0%

22.4%

-1.9%

-7.9%

Jonathan Broxton is off the disabled list, but his pants seamstress won't be back from materity leave for weeks!

26

2

5

3.0

3.2

3.3

.432

.412

2.4%

3.2%

5.6%

-0.2%

-1.4%

I read the unofficial Cubs mascot knocked out a fan in a bar, but Old Style has that effect on lots of people.

27

2

5

1.9

2.6

2.7

.416

.396

4.5%

13.7%

18.2%

5.6%

-10.6%

Tommy Medica started as their DH last night. Be honest, Padres, on your road trip you forgot to pack a designated hitter.

28

3

4

2.9

2.0

2.1

.411

.392

4.7%

6.0%

10.7%

0.5%

-2.6%

Lifehack: bet a penny on Bartolo Colon winning a Silver Slugger; retire the richest man in the Western Hemisphere and spend all your time reading great Hit List jokes and drinking purified water from the sultan's personal refrigerator.

29

3

5

2.1

2.4

2.2

.352

.370

0.3%

0.5%

0.8%

-0.4%

-1.1%

Not sure why Matt Albers was placed on the paternity list. He'll get to spend time with his child as Baby Albers is scheduled to pitch Friday.

30

2

8

2.7

2.9

3.0

.372

.354

1.0%

7.2%

8.2%

0.4%

-4.0%

They've started 2-8 in two other seasons: 1998 (expansion year), and 2003 (something called Elmer Dessens led the team in starts).