I don’t know who you are.
Or whether you’re a man or a woman.
I may never see you or cry with you or get drunk with you.
But I love you.
I hope that you escape this place.
I hope that the world turns and that things get better, and that one day people have roses again...
"Our lives our not our own"

Jul 16, 2014

Why I Never Learn and Continue to Argue with Misogynists on the Internet

I never learn. I know
that there are plenty of weird people on the internet, and most of the time,
the person commenting on a blog, website, video is someone who is bigoted,
racist, misogynist or all these things together and more. But I still can’t
help it. There’s this itch in my brain telling me that I will be able to
convince one person that the way they are acting, or thinking is not right, and
that they should open their hearts, minds and stop insulting, hurting people. I
never listen to the reason which says, these people will never change and the
internet is their outlet where they can be cruel without suffering actual
consequences. But do I listen? Of course I don’t. Beyond reason I continue to
argue.

Something like a month
or so ago in fact I found myself arguing with some people on a Youtube video of
Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where
they were promoting their new movie The Sex Tape. I’m fond
of Segel because of his brilliant work as Marshall on How I Met Your Mother,
and on Forgetting Sarah
Marshall, to just mention a few, and I do like some of Diaz’ comedies,
especially The Other
Woman, which was more than I had expected it to be, really sweet and
inspiring in relation to women’s friendship, rather than a revenge movie. They
are both talented actors and whoever they are in person is none of my business,
and I don’t want to comment here about some of their not so proud moments, and
not so great movies. My big concern about this video as with most Jimmy Kimmel
videos, was the first comments, and the mot liked comments below the video. I
don’t know why, but Kimmel’s channel seems to attract a bigger percentage of
losers that other late night hosts on Youtube, and these people haven’t learned
jack from the Celebrities
Read Mean Tweet Segment.

The very upvoted comments on top were about how Cameron Diaz was ugly, looked old, like a leather
bag, had not aged well, and so on. These comments are not only hateful and misogynist
but also ridiculous, considering how much in shape this woman is, especially
considering she’s almost 42 years old. She doesn’t look her age at all. But
even if she did, even if she had gained weight, had become less attractive, and
had started to show her age, what gives these random people on the internet who
would never in their lives have the chance to even speak to this woman let
alone have sex with her, the right to comment on how she has aged? I see this
on Youtube videos and on articles everywhere. There are so many hateful
comments about women’s looks and age. But even when comments are meant as
compliments, the amount of people commenting on what they would do sexually to
these women, who may be actresses, journalists, or professionals of any kind on
Youtube, for simply being attractive, is too high to count. The first comment
you see on a media channel with a serious news journalist is about how
attractive she is, and sometimes with use of derogatory language. Women are
objectified by these men who don’t understand the harm that is done to these
women who’s voice is not being heard, because they are focused on their looks. “I
couldn’t pay attention to what she was saying because I was distracted by her
looks” says some random virgin horny weirdo on the internet. The worst part is
that these misogynist men who are upvoted find themselves online and find no
criticism which they would normally face in real life, and their behavior is basically
applauded. “Well men are perverts, so this is normal” somebody normalizes their
behavior.

I take the burden so
many times to argue with these people online, because I don’t want others to
see on the comment section that such behavior is to be congratulated. I want to
perpetrate my criticism on all those men who are sexually frustrated or simply
pigs, who cannot legally express their opinion at the workplace or in their
personal relationships or in public so they think they can find a safe place to
express their ugly thoughts. I want to respond to each of these dirty,
disgusting men who reduce these women on the media to objectified pieces of
meat, fresh or old meat, slim or thick, and apparently pat themselves on the back
about the way these women actors, comedians, doctors, journalists, scientists,
sportspeople, are dissected in either sexual objects, or objects to be thrown
out. I want to criticize all these creeps even though I know I’m not actually
making a change. I just cannot stand by and watch, while the internet becomes a
safe place for bullying of our gender.

Not to mention sites
like 9gag where telling a woman to go the kitchen seems to be a very funny
running joke, or sites where feminism is discussed and there’s always that one
or more guys who say that women’s idea of feminism is not to pay at dinner, get
alimony and get money from the divorce (which is ridiculous since apparently men
profit more economically from the divorce), or the massive amount of guys
who comment that a female comedian is not funny but they came there for the
boobs, or looks. The problem is that these people have a reason to act and
speak the way they act and speak: That reason is mainstream media. Is the media
that objectifies and eviscerates women into pieces of meat and conditions its
audience to view women merely as sexual objects. Women too have sexual desires,
and yet we refrain from verbalizing all our sexual thoughts, so that we don’t
objectify men who have other talents and other abilities they’d like to
advertise. We live in a world where men are football players and women are
cheerleaders in Football, and where still to this day, the woman pours the milk
in most cereal commercials, while the male sits down and enjoys breakfast.

I don’t want to vilify
men, especially men who are actual feminists and who are very thoughtful, kind
and respectful with women. Clearly the sick perverted internet folk that want
us to go back to the 1950s and serve them dinner and iron their shirts are not
the majority. Despite that I don’t want their voice to be upvoted in the media
and the comment section. Their language is a language of hate, a language that
hurts all of us who have to encounter it day in and day out, all of us who
already suffer with the insecurities regarding our looks, age, salary and
unheard voice. Their language is a language of bullying and I invite all my
sisters and brothers who are appalled by this language to find time in their
life to shut them down, criticize them, unlike them, downvote them, flag them
for spam for use of hate speech whenever they encounter them, because their
bullying should be ostracized just as in the public, also online. There should
be no place where these thoughts can be verbalized, apart from a shrink’s
office where they can learn to deal with their issues and maybe hopefully grow
as people. There should be no safe haven for mysogensits to deny women the
chance to be heard first and checked out later. There should be no place where
the comment that Cameron Diaz has not aged well is liked 123 times and that she’s
an old leather bag liked 113 times. There should not be a safe haven for these
disgusting people to verbalize their disgusting thoughts. And that is why I irrationally
continue to argue with people on the internet. As if it was my mission in life,
I don’t want to see women objectified, and I don’t want objectification of
women by sickos to plant its flag online.