Happy leap year!

This morning I had been up for less than 2 hours and I couldn’t stand it anymore. Today was supposed to be a really active day, and because of the crazy (albeit strikingly beautiful) snow all of our plans have been cancelled. Except for Jeff’s band practice tonight. Rose will come over then and have tea with me, so that’ll be nice. I think I felt so unhappy more because of my expectations not being met than anything else. I used to soak up days at home. I’d do a project, sip my tea, watch a movie, take a long walk… Now, I just can’t take it anymore. High-class problems, I know, but I’ve never been so… in the same spot. I don’t want to say idle, because I know that taking care of Vera is good work, but I am a productive and social kind of person- almost to my surprise. I wouldn’t say I’m a workaholic by any means. I can slack off with the best of them, but I am used to feeling like I’m… contributing. I realized the other day that I haven’t been out of work for this long since I started working at 14. It’s taken the contrast in lifestyle for me to see how much I really value activity. If anything I would’ve critizised myself for being lazy too often. I ache to go for an hour long walk. My midwife said that many women run into this kind of feeling with new babies in winter. I do feel very cozy and nice in the house, but when this weather turns I’ll be outside most of my days. I think the other thing is that I got used to being very pregnant and basically getting exercise all day long, and I think now that I don’t have that extra weight I am in need of exercise. Everyone tells me not to exercise too quickly, but I wonder if my instincts could be that far off. Maybe I can just do a ton of power walking. I don’t want to put out the wrong message though- there’s no place I’d rather be than with Vera and I can’t imagine being away from her. Anyway, enough of my bitch session. I guess I’ll turn this into a positive request for ideas about what to do at home to help quell the stir-crazy monster within. I think I’m gonna go to this group thing for new moms. Maybe I can meet some new people. One of the hard things about being at home all day is that everyone else still works. Maybe if I made some new mom friends I’d have more to do during the day.

Feb 28th:My pretty pup. We’re trying to give her lots of love, and I think she actually likes the baby. She licks the top of her head and perks up when she cries… It’s sweet.

Feb 29th:Grapefruits are still really high on my list. Maybe it wasn’t a prego craving after all…maybe I have a whole area in my brain dedicated to grapefruit appreciation. This is highly possible. I believe I have a tomato appreciation area that’s been active for years… ok, I need to get out of the house.

Quote of the day (courtesy of my dad):“Man, it’s already the Year of the Rat and I’m still writing ‘Monkey’ on my checks.” -Unknown

Comments (14)

Hi – Remembering my own baby experiences, I hope you don’t do too much too soon. When my babies were brand new, I would feel lots of energy, and get some work done – then after a half an hour or so, the energy would evaporate and I would be flat on my back crying from the “baby blues.” It took about a month before I would have my usual stamina.

The operative word is “gradual” You will be OK eventually – just be kind to yourself.

Ya know, I do wonder if this is partly just that natural “oh god it’s february when will this winter ever end!!!” thing. Maya is definitely getting lots of cuddles, although I wonder if she liked her time at home alone. Nah, she’s probably happy about us here. I loved the “year of Olive” by the way. SOOO cute!

Yes, yes! Come to Parenting Arts next Thursday! There’s always potluck lunch (you can bring food or not) and it’s $3/wk although we’re trying to find sponsors so it can be free. I haven’t gone in a few weeks but I’ll go back and it’s usually a pretty good time.

It’s $60 for eight weeks but it’s more structured and geared specifically toward new moms & babies. I found it to be a really good place–although it was only $15 total when I went because that was when they were a non-profit.

joining a group sounds like a great idea. its ann arbor/ypsi there’s got to be lots of mother baby groups. i know you have alot of friends but unless they have kids its kind of hard for them to fully understand what you may be going through so hanging out with other new moms sounds really fun.

even though jonah was born in the summer i was still pretty stir crazy at the beginning. you could take up a new hobby. have you tried making the diapers yet?

Exactly! I actually didn’t realize how much I would want the company of other moms. I basically want to feel like part of a group, and not the “friend with the baby”, which is basically what I am now with my friends. That’s great- it is what it is- but I want some community, ya know?
Thanks for reminding me! DIAPERS! I should totally throw myself into that. I’ve gotta find that website again…