Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

just want to scrrrream!!

i am soo sick of feeling sad.
it's very hard to fight back the tears and continue swallowing to make the lump in my throat go away when my boys are with me.

when i cant take it anymore, feel like i'm going to become a blubbering mess, i tell them i'm sad about grandpa bob. which is true, but it's not the whole truth.

my dr put me on lexapro which seemed to work for about 30 days. he is on vacation until some time in feb.
unless i am in deep crisis, or need refills, no other dr will see me. it's a state? mental health place i've been going to since may 2001..

the dr i see...
i'm not in his office10 minutes! i'm not the only patient to complain about him. but when you dont have insurance, and they are footing your medication bills, i guess you gotta put up with certain things.

i see my therapist for 1 hr, but i talk soo much..i dont give her a chance to give me any advice. i guess she could stop me talking long enough to tell me what books to read, etc.

my dad passed away oct 19, 2006.
i know he is in heaven, but i bury the pain and tell myself he is on vacation and as soon as he comes back, he will call me.

i was divorced arpil 2005 (wooo whooo!) but since we share joint custody, i have to deal with the creep daily, except for weekends.
he as them one wknd, i have the next, he has the next, etc...

at least i admit i have issues and i take meds and see my therapist and dr like i'm supposed to. the ex is a lunatic!!

he tried getting full custody last year by using horrible false accusations, and when that didnt work, he pulled the bipolar card. that obviously didnt work either. haha! friggen jerk!!

the day my dad ....
the ex called the child abuse hotline, claiming i emotionally abuse our boys. unfounded.

1 week before christmas we got into a big fight over the phone. he called me 10x in less than 30 minutes. the last time he called, he said he was on his way over. i called back, left a msg on his cell telling him he better NOT come to my front door because i WILL call 911!! 15-20 minutes later, loud knocking at my door. i peek to see who it was, phone in hand, when i saw 3 police standing there. as relieved i was to see them and not the ex, i was surprised to see them at my door! come to find out, the ex called 911 saying i was having a mental meltdown, and he feared for our childrens safety. the police were really nice to me. apparently they talked with my neighbors before they knocked on my door. the officer told me to get an exparte against the ex.

back in..*thinking*...nov of 2007, he thought i was getting together with his ex gf to try and set him up for a drug bust.
(friggen weirdo!)
all i know is it was 7 am, i heard loud pounding on my front door. i go to the door, peek out to see who it was and opened the door. the ex was waving his arms all over the place and yelling at me, accusing me of getting in with his ex to get him busted.
then he lifted his shirt. i saw the butt/handle of a hand gun.
i FREAKED!!
but i didnt call 911?!?!

for some WEIRD reason, him showing me that he had a gun didnt hit me until maybe 4 hours after he left. then i just broke down and thought i couldve been dead earlier that morning. i cant...describe what a sickening? feeling that was. too real for me!!

for some reason he is out to get me, but while doing that, our two little boys are caught in the middle. : (
THAT BOTHERS ME!!!!!!!!!
i feel HELPLESS!!!
my poor boys!!! : (
: (
: (
my (our) boys are scared him their dad.
when asked certain q's by the authorities, they protect him.

i feel if i dont talk to someone, or get what i'm feeling off my chest, out of my mind, i am going to explode!! like my head is just going to fly off like a spinning top!!

if i didnt know better, the ex is trying to push me over the edge. it's very HARD..EXTREMELY hard to hold on some days, but i have to for my boys.
they are why i get out of bed every day. they make me smile and laugh. they touch my heart in ways...
i cant descibe.
they are my world. my everything.

i am sick of everything, except my boys.
i'm afraid to say too much to the dr ot therapist in the event the jerk tries gaining full custody AGAIN.
i have never been to jail. never hurt anyone. damaged any property.
he has absolutely NOTHING on me, except for what he makes up!!

i'd better stop now! i cannot cram over 5 years of BS in here all at once.

im not totally sure what kind of place you live in..but if your ex is that much of a creep...and especially if he went and showed you a gun, i would think (i could be wrong) you could get custody of your boys. and personally. i'd move =/
but thats just me.
i hope things get better for you. i really do.
*hugs*
and. therapists WANT you to talk. dont be ashamed because you think you talk too much.

i know we haven't talked yet, but oh my God, have u been through a lot!!!!!! i must say, i really admire u for always thinking of your boys; and your ex? well, he is just sick!!! i mean, what father would want to turn/take the boys from their mother? don't apologize for the post, as it is good u get it out; u are a survivor, and i admire u for that! please know i am here if u ever need to chat

okay I commend you you are also a survivor (as I almost was killed 5 x by an acholic bi polar manic...)but in a different way.
I don't understand what are you asking if anything or at all or just maybe the need to vent here whichever is good.
Far as mental health I am a former worker of ours in my state but eventually became a R.N. (bumper accident from work off till i get my surgery &amp; p.t.)Anytime you need meds. you should call in advance as it takes up to 3 days so I would suggest to ask for the Nurse her voice mail and leave her/him a message so inbetween there comunications with the doctor that it will be mentioned and called into your pharmacy.You also have the crisis # for there I'm sure and should readily use it when you feel the need to even if the need is just to beable to vent get advice that's what they have been trained for it is there job!!In the mean time I would suggest when you may have felt this way due to simalar situation think of what you did that got you thru it and start from there.otherwise maybe a brisk walk-depending on your weather mite be frightful like mine,taking a bath-lighting candles soft music and indulge/relax let your mind go think of a wonderful place or a good memory that you may have...other things mite be call a friend even to just chit chat,reading if you enjoy,sometimes exercise do something for you to side track your thinking...cognitive thinking-self talk etc... Goodluck hope one or another helps...

when the police showed up the day the ex claimed i was having a mental meltdown, not only did the neighbors, the male neighbor, tell the police he saw the gun, i told the officer as well. all he had to say to that was to get an exparte.

i'm curious why chris (neighbor) didnt call 911 when he saw part of the gun?
they've moved since then, so i cant ask.

not only do i talk too much, i'm also a scatterbrain.

i dont have any money to move. i'm on disability, need i say more?
*half smile*

i found out about a month ago that the ex is collecting benefits, money I worked for, for close to 15 years, for our children. that is MY money!!!
i'm not collecting SS from mo, but from ca where i am originally from!!
more indepth explaination, but i am livid, and dont feel like talking about this anymore than i have to right now.
no one told me i could collect, otherwise i wouldve ran to the SS office and applied!! wouldnt of made a difference anyway since HE is the primary parent.

i've had to wait to go to the SS office to see if I could be the payee because i drive a gas guzzler and i need to make sure i have enough gas to get me through the month. but since i'm getting the check friday, i figured what the heck, go find out what SS has to say.

just because they spend the night at his house during the school year, (because he told the GAL he puts them to bed at 8 pm and i said i put them to bed at 8:30) she sided with him.

come to find out, that makes him the primary parent!
even if it is just during the school year. UGH!!!

I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.