Author's infos

Introduction:

i wanted her, i took her

im steve, im 20, 6 ft and slim and this what i did to beth. it started when i was helping this 14 year old ben with his school work. i tutor and mentor kids who have learning and behavioural difficulties. unlike most of the kids i work with i got onreally well with him, and eventually i started to get to know his family, hismum and dad, and his little sister beth. the more i came to the house to help ben the more the family got to know and trust me. Eventually i was adopted as a new friendof the family. to behonest icouldnt care less about the family, all i wanted was beth. beth is 9, about 3 or 4 ft tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, missing a couple ofbaby teeth, the sort of kid that'll grow up into a stunner. the first time isaw her i wasnt that bothered, but as winter turned tosummer and her clothes started to come off, the more i noticed her. one day i saw her inthe garden pool, withher little pink bikini playing in the water smiling and laughing. thats when i decided if i ever got the chance i'd have her. one day my opportunity came.
the parents had togo away for the weekend and needed a sitter, ben and beth both asked for me. I wasnt even there first choice but after enough pressure from the kids they reluctantly asked me to look after them. pretending i wasnt that bothered i said yes.They left friday night, werecoming back sunday evening. i thought about takingmy time with beth, not rushing into anything. fuck it, i never had any self control. i encouraged ben to take his oportunity and get out of the house and go see his friends, i promised i wouldnt tell. so it was just me and beth alone in the house. just as i made sure ben was gone, i closed the door and looked up the staircase, shouted to bethif she was okay, she shouted back asking if wanted to come and play on the wii with her in her room. i got into her room, turned ofthe console, that didnt impress her, so i told her we were going toplay something else, her eyes lit up and she asked what is it? i got her to sit on her bed, i sat next to her right. i put my hand on her thigh and slowly worked it up to her crotch under night dress. she tried to resist, so i pushed her on her back and rolled onto her. she said she didnt like the game and wanted stop. i whispered in her ear it doesnt stop till i say it stops. i reached and started to slide her little pink panties off, she started to cry. i climbed off her picked her up and threw her to the floor. pulled my pants off and took of my tshirt. i stood in front of her grabbed her head and moved myy dick toher mouth. she kept her mouth shut so i hit her and then she started to cry louder. with her mouth open i shoved my dick in her mouth and rammed it right to the back, her little 9 year old mouth struggled to take it but forced it in. she started to cough and gag and combined with pulling her hair more tears rolled down her cheeks. just then she vomited her dinner back all over my dick, her night dress and the carpet. icalled her a stupid bitch and made lick my dick clean then fed her, her own vomit fromthe carpet, by holding her face down in it. i stood up to admire the sight, i thought she still crying so i gave her something to cry over, i kicked her in the side, she tried to crawl away and just cornered herself, and in that corner i beat her till she got the message to stop crying. i was carful not to touch her face,i didnt want that ruined. i grabbed her ankles and draggedher into the middle of the room and climbed over her. i told her this was my favourite part of the game. i pulled her legs as far apart as they'd go and pushed right into her, i popped her cherry, i love that feeling! She screamed so i headbutted her, breaking her nose and causing blood to flow, i didnt shut her up so i stuffed her pants in her mouth and continued ramming her, i could feel my self about to come, so i decided before that happened i wanted to make her torture complete. i rolled her over and without even warning her i forced my manhood into her TIGHT little ass. She screamed and moaned and cried into her gag and thrashed around trying to escape. i carried on splitting her in two enjoing the sight of her bleeding ass and pussy. then i couldnt hold it any more so i pulled out flipped her over and came all over her tear soaked and now cum soaked face. i rubbed it all in her face and mouth. then grabbed her hair and cleand my dick and hands in it. i got up threw her clothes at her and told her to put some clothes before ben gets back. a while later i was tele, thinking how i was going to explain to her parents all the bruises on beth's body. when ben came running through the front door with blood on his clothes and trainers. He said if anyone asks i was with you all night, i laughed and said if anyone asks we were playing xbox ALL night, and we never saw beth or how she hurt herself in her room. he looked a me for a second tofigure out what wa sgoing on, he shrugged his shoulders and said deal. he ran up stairs to change and wash his clothes, i laughed to my self and carried on watching tele.

Wow. Just wow. I get that this is a rape story (thanks for the tag on that, by the way) but I think you are missing some tags. Humiliation would be one that is glaringly obvious. Also, you may want to take a bit more time in editing, since you have ALOT of words that run together. And some paragraph structure would be helpful.
As a parent though, I can tell you, they will NOT accept the 'I have no idea what happened' defense in this situation. There is to much damage to the child for them to accept it was an accident. Add to that that both kids are hurt, and your ass is in jail very quickly.

Just saying, Story-D Plot-B Timing-C-
I have read A LOT of stories but this one is a prime example of issues. I don't mind the 9 years thing, in fact that is waht I was more or less looking for. But mislabeling the story is a no no. there is a section here for beatings, and its important to the readers whether or not that is included. Really, I could help you with the grammar but you have to add detail to YOUR story. If a person can't feel the characters, they don't like the story. Simple fact. I usually drop into a story, acting like my favorite character for a bit. But the best character was Ben as far as development and motive. Just work on your general knowledge Writer,
Sincerely, an interested reader of all works non-necronic