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Topic: Hosted Birthday Party (Read 2251 times)

Hi all - My husband has a milestone birthday coming up and I'd like to host a small birthday dinner for him at a local upscale restaurant. My plan is to invite two other couples, and I would pick up the check for the group. This isn't really done that much - more like, we're going out to eat, come with us, everyone pays for their own. But this is a special occasion that I've been saving for and I really want to treat the group. Plus, since I'm inviting them/hosting, I think it is right to pay for everyone. My question is - how do I make it clear that I'm picking up the check when inviting them? It is rude to say that? I know it won't be expected. Any tips? Thanks!

Say that "Husband and I would like to take You & Spouse out for dinner at Restaurant to celebrate his birthday" or that you are hosting/throwing a dinner party for your husband at the restaurant. If they don't seem to pick up that you are saying that you will pay for it, trying dropping an "my treat, of course" in there.

Also, when you're at the restaurant, make sure your server knows to put everything on one check and to give it directly to you instead just setting it down where someone else might attempt to pay the ticket. "My treat," may again have to be said.

Make sure you keep some control over what is being ordered. For example, how will you deal with alcohol? If someone orders a bottle of wine, are you cool with that? Or do you want to choose a bottle of wine and "suggest" it to the group? Also appetizers? Let people order what they want or get a couple of plats for the table? Desserts?

I bring this up because I went to a similar party and one guy (not the host) kept ordering bottles of wine for the table (of 8?) and then it turns out the hostess expected us all to chip in and that was not cool for me to not be able to control what I pay.

So either direct what is happening (limited menu) or be ready to pay whatever people order. But also keep some phrases in mind if people go crazy "Bob, I don't think we need two Seafood extravaganza's for the table. I think one would be fine especially since Joe and Jane don't eat seafood."

I think saying "my treat" is the best way to make it clear. I don't see any reason to be "cute" about it or worry about wording - just say "I will be my treat." I also think that controlling what people order after that is borderline rude, assuming your friends aren't jerks! If you don't want to pay for alcohol (I didn't sense that you didn't, but general you) don't offer to host and evening meal (just my opinion).

Thanks for the suggestions! I think I was overthinking it - imagining what I'd say if they said, "Oh, no, you don't have to do that!" I'll make sure to say that it is my treat when I talk to them.Thanks for the help!