i cannot believe i have spent 3 1/2 hours doing this report and as i was copying part of a previous bit - word error report pops up and wiped. the. whole. fucking. thing. i have just spent half an hour trying to retrieve it - can't find it anywhere - unbelievable... i will try to do some of it again... i am reproducing some posts i have already done, with added comments etc in this Blue and so i don't repeat myself too much... and LJ has just wiped all my blue... oh groovy...

Cavern & Leeds 22 & 23 April, 2005

Just a quick one to keep you updated - Duster has already done a post and i sat there and watched her do the first part - Hi sweetie! at about 02.30am - she and Dave are as much night owls as i am!

The Cavern is terrible venue for anyone who is even partially disabled and the stairs go down so far, it should be renamed the Catacombs!! Being underground, it gets hellish hot and with the amount of people that were squeezed in there, you could have helped out the local power station! But having said all that, James obviously LOVES being there and he gave us a concert none of us will forget in a hurry. He was in a word, Magnificent!

He was relaxed, happy, flirty and a lot of fun... He sang the whole CD and some off Mad Brilliant to our total delight! and gave us a damn fine concert. What James did not expect from the surprise and then pleasure on his face, was the amount of people who started to sing along with him - Jamesrocks got quite a lot of eye contact that way as she was one of them and anyway, damn! that girl looked Nice! *So did ostile17, who got the set list - ciao, bella* Pandis was snapping away at my elbow and i am SO going over there and looking at her snaps as soon as i have done this! and so worth the effort, terrific - even took one of James smiling at me!

The support act Al Britton impressed me for several reasons and i will be happy to see him again in Bristol. He is a talented songwriter who can really play a guitar [loose the harmonica, babe! you are good but you do not need it]. He can sing and i was delighted to hear his own accent, not some cod-American that a lot of our British singers think they need to sell records. He was modest and well aware that he was being followed by James and actually said James was 'a babe', to our great amusement!!

The picture published of him does not do him any favours - in real life, he is a goodlooking 26-year old and has some lovely dimples!! Those who haven't heard him, will enjoy his performance in Bristol, that i can assure.

i was surprised at the lack of security in front of the stage - none at the Cavern and none in Leeds. He did have a guy lurking at the side of the stage but nobody between him and the audience. *Lisa mentioned this in Coventry but commented anyone who looked like a threat would probably be killed by the front row anyway - good call!*

We did have the annoyance of people who actually talked in the background of James singing - this happend in Liverpool and again last night, to my surprise. Why pay for a ticket and not pay attention? i can only surmise that they are regulars at the local venues and not 'true fans', if you know what i mean. There is also that element that go and diss the artist on the 'he's famous, so what?' level - cretins...

PLEASE, James, do not judge us by those few, loud and ignorant twats.... i am ashamed of them.

Saw Steve Himber doing his thing at the merchandise table and stopped by long enough to buy a pic of James and to give him a kiss on both cheeks... and be totally ignored by Lisa.... several times, after giving her a polite smile on first viewing....

At the Cavern, i was in such great company and had a 'lorra, lorra' fun!! So nice to meet old friends and make new ones!! *Waves to Lil Bit, Ziggs & Rachel* Ziggs is a gal to groove and we paused before going up the stairs to sing 'She was just 17", in full voice and we seriously got into it, and various people stopped to join in with us and it was a fun moment... Go, gal! Rachel quieter but just as sweet... Lil Bit has just the most gorgeous hair and a great sense of humour - pictures on their way...

Duster did us proud - Jamesrocks and i shared a very comfortable double bed! [well, she is serious cute! no, really we were just fine, tho i was too warm to get under the duvet much - all that hot blood.. ha.ha.] Duster made us feel very welcome in her lovely home and got up to make us a cooked breakfast before we took off the next morning, what a doll! Thank you, baby, it was a real pleasure...

Jamesrocks and i had a good run up in the car, could not have gone better and got back an hour before i thought we would. We didn't have long till Mrs Tigger arrived and after we freshened up, we dashed out, grabbing a good lunch and off to Leeds on the train.. ..

Josephs Well, Leeds, was better as venue but equally as hot as the Cavern had been, until someone opened a door and the sodding Artic wind blew in! Most of the long-time queue *Waves to Hellschilde 17, hi baby!* were just about hyperthermic by the time we got inside as we were queuing in the shade and the wind was FREEZING!! Mrs Tigger's hands were blue... Thank you, darling, for looking after me so well - what would i have done without you?!! Thanks also to Lilicat, who kept her eye on me - kissy, kissy! Susie went walkabout and came back with some very welcome hot coffee, which thawed us out for a bit.

i was privileged to see some of Pandis' shots last night and we are really in for a treat! Sami also snapping away and some of hers that she so kindly shared, will blow you away! Put up lots this time if you can, sweetie?!

James was not quite as bouncy but still in terrific form and we loved him. The set was shorter than the Cavern but choice. And he didn't sing 'Patricia' - mind you, the soundman there was a bit of a dunce and had trouble giving the artists the level and quality of sound they wanted.

Ah yes, The Support Act......... What were they called? Limp Biscuit? described the lead/singer perfectly... Please do NOT book them again. i have never heard the front audience before saying, "oh heavens, they have six more songs on the set list" and then count them down!! As my part of the world must have better musicians than this, i was embarrased on their behalf. They consisted singer/electric guitarist and a Very Good acoustic guirarist, who was also cute! The singer played quitar fine but seemed to think that shouting was singing and his lyrics were abysmal... *yelling about the Angel of Death coming for him, at some length - So come and get him already!!* He wasn't off key, much, but tonally? sucked. He obviously thought he was the cat's miouw but seriously? Forget the singing, honey, and get a front man! And please! let your Classical guitar player do more than back you up?

*Could not believe my eyes, reading a couple of reports, where they said how the support band were well received and good - must have been tone deaf... the only people who applauded enthusiatically were the ones who were talking and drinking back in the crowd... [friends of the band maybe? or relatives?]... i would have had to have been Seriously plastered to get any enjoyment out of the said band. They were also on for far too long - man, they were dire*

All of that was forgotten as soon as the rather long break was over - no, we didn't want to go outside and get a drink at the bar, thank you - and Lisa hopped up onstage and announced James. i was perched on the end of my fold-up chair [getting very personal - ouch but helped save my legs some] and dead centre infront of James with Mrs Tigger and Hellschilde17.

i caught his eye a couple of times as i was singing along and he smiled... There was some mention by James doing his 'how many guys in the audience bit' - asking one guy if he was a music critic or reporter, cause he looked like one - i offered to throw him out... James said quickly 'No, no, they're good guys' or some such - so i called over that he could stay if he wrote nice stuff!! Mrs Tigger laughed fit to bust, while offering to give me a hand! ...at the end of the concert, i thought everyone would hold up their hands in the 'love you' sign and i put up mine - to find i was the only one! James saw my hand and did the sign back!! with a lovely smile... i just melted into a large puddle on the floor........

He did the "i'am-leaving-but make-'lots of decibels' and i will come back and sing a couple more" stuff and it became the running joke of the Tour - we obliged of course, with much laughter & cheering! p.s. i didn't take any pics of James myself [in That company, do you blame me?!] but i have taken some of the girls etc and Pandis obliged with my digital, when we had some great Chinese at the Lucky Dragon - which i will try and post later - super dinner incidentally, recommend it to all...

Patricia

No, Aria, i have to say James has not mentioned her at all. *He did tell Lynnie she was with him in Leeds when she was getting her CD at Coventry, and we did see her in London and Milton Keynes* He did perk up when he was talking to the dark haired cutie standing behind me in Leeds, saying he knew if he kept looking at her, she would make him lose his concentation! and apparently she did - whereupon her friend said she had come from Germany to see him and he looked astonished and said "Really?!" [like she had come from Siberia or something!] Huge smiles to go with it. That was as close as we got to it, as he did not sing 'Patricia' that night. i'll let you know if he does later this week. later, cuties!

Coventry Album Launch by Jamesrocks [25th April, 2005]

Last night was the Album Launch in Coventry, and I have only had three hours sleep. Char, Spicy, Jill and myself managed to get front row seats as they allowed the less able in first, and I was helping carry bags etc. I didn't see any official press at the launch just the usual crowd. Though I believe there was a reporter at Leeds. The evening started with James being interviewed by Lisa, very good, then there was a raffle drawn by Steve (we didn't win but we knew a couple who did). After a short break James returned for the concert, and surprised us all by coming on unannounced. He was amazing and kept saying how he enjoyed the fact that the house lights were on all the time, it made him feel connected with us. Lastly everyone left by slowly filing past James, and he had a few words with everyone and gave us all a hug and kiss. Bristol tonight, have to go have a nap now, while I wait for Jill to wake up. Bye for now, love Sue xx

Hi from deepest Wiltshire

i am staying as you can see with Jamesrocks and am now reasonabley awake...! after about four hours sleep...

Amazing, glorious and all those gushy fan-girl types words!!! James continues to make me wonder what i have been doing all my life...

A truly terrific concert and the interview with Lisa was lovely.. She managed to come up with questions that nobody had asked before [like how long did it take to write a song and which came first, music or words? music usually and about 10-90 seconds but the words could take a lot longer] and had James laughing hysterically on occasion with the 'rudeness' of the questions! [ i did catch his eye and say quietly, "define 'rude' " cause i was asked if i would - i got a very sexy growl, saying 'i guess that has to be both ways now!'] The comment about 'rude' women was directed at the girls on jmlive not the audience, we were told.

I must say for James, he appreciates a robust sense of humour! He says all men are Heat Seeking Missiles and don't you forget it! We know he likes big baths and oil and those lovely Lush products and Lisa asked does he sing in the bath and were they his songs - yes and yes, he sings his own songs all the time - James then proceeded to tell us one more thing he likes to do in the bath - that was the closest i have ever seen Lisa come to a blush! and he giggled like a maniac at her reaction - my jaw dropped at his honesty!! this interview was characterised by his frankness and lets just say it rhymes... damn, is it hot in here?

Some of the Coventry Q&A

Q: How nervous were you at Halloween – and how about now, was he also nervous acting? A: At Halloween, really nervous – if audience had not reacted as they did he would not have continued with the CD. Now, Not so much. He’s never nervous when he was acting – with the singing. He thought he would be more nervous than he actually was – as he was singing about himself. Then laughing about taking abuse – his comment on the website referred directly to Lisa and her support team, “you ladies are rude but I love you.”

Q: You were in a Punk band? Yes in Modesto in 1979 – and there were no other punk bands in Modesto so people really looked at them oddly – he had a great big Afro hairstyle – their protest was to break into places but they never did any damage.

Q: What music do you listen to now? (pause for thought)) Norah Jones – "don’t like to say this as you (Lisa and co) have been dissing her all day" Bruce Springsteen etc

Not sure what this is - [? and sneakiness leading to brute force (HeD) about James acting prospects and the October performance plans. Got something if not all we wanted Nothing specific at moment, quoted James’ comment about the schedules fitting – James is up for a lot of auditions but he has to wait to be asked. The problem is that over there, they still think of him as white haired and British. As for October (and this is where HeD really tried her all, lovely to see an artist at work) – no he would not tell us what it would was (“Rape of Lucrece”? – “something like that”) but it would be very special, for one night only but there would be lots of tickets available.] And a concert too, we are also told.

Mrs Tigger was just going to get a photo of us, when James came strolling casually onstage for the concert, guitar around his neck... no intro - took a year off Lynnie!!

He made a remark about being able to see all the audience for a change as no spotlights [the photographers knashing their teeth!] and the 'house lights' being up all the time, making a very intimate atmosphere... he was right too and was able to look up at the Hall and see what we saw. Dunno why he looked straight at me and asked if he could 'cuss' again, but we must all have nodded and smiled... oh and he did sing 'Patricia' again here.

James obviously loved being in St Mary's and appreciated how lovely it was but i must say right here that the remark that James made about the angel statue on his right, flashing her breasts at him, cannot seriously have meant to include me, even if i was in the same view!! - ok, i looked down and i was flashing as much skin as she was stone but it can't have been about me... i did hastily pull the edges of said cross-over blouse (new) together and the concert continued... see, no way... *blush*

James called out to 'the blonde in green' who was grooving back in the audience and said how much he enjoyed watching her getting into it - which brings up a point.

With music, all of it deserves attention but not all of it is dance music and it isn't possible to get up and dance about in that sort of Hall, much as we would like to at times... you can groove in your chair but it is difficult to have it both ways, you know what i'm sayin'? You need to make up your mind, either we stand up and groove/bop or whatever or we sit down and move less but enjoy it just as much...

You could not have received a more heartfelt response from the audience than you did in St James and we stood and screamed ourselves hoarse to let you know just how much we really did love it.... i only hope that James could hear us and it was not in vain, having left the building or something - we had no way of knowing...

James left the stage at the end of the Concert, saying he was looking forward to meeting every one of us on the way out as we collected our CDs and he did just that. Although we got our signed CDs from Steve Himber, [to our alarm! in an effort to hurry up the queue - but the Guildhall staff actually were very good and allowed them to finish and i got chance to say 'thank you' to them downstairs at the end] a hug from James was to put the cherry on top of all the cream!! i sorta floated down the stairs and was incapable of answering any questions coherently for about an hour....

i was floating for more reason than that - half the disabled queue went out first and the other half went out after the main part of the audience had gone - and i was the very last one out and had nobody on my heels [except Lisa, Steve, Lousie etc!!] but i grinned at James and said 'i'm last again!' [i had been for the autographs at Halloween]. He laughed and hauled me into a real tight hug - he always wins, he is stronger than me! He kissed my face somewhere between lip and cheek, i had turned to hug only... and i was surprised... he said 'you're here too' managing to look surprised and pleased at the same time and i said 'yes, i was following the whole Tour, continuing in Bristol etc the next night' and he grinned saying 'Right on! You're on Tour too!' - anyway, i told him it was a wonderful concert and how i loved Finer than Gold, it was brilliant and that he had made me cry - he said, 'aww, baby..' and put his arms around me, kissing my mouth this time before giving me another of those breathless hugs.... i felt every nerve ending in my body respond and i have to tell you, with a little inside lip, he tasted sweet and warm - [i teased Char later that he tastes like Red Bull!] - i was just going when Spicy popped her head back around the door and said she'd forgotten to tell him her weight loss was up to 130 lbs and he was delighted. When she had disappeared again, in seconds, i said to him - 'you have no idea of the effect you have on people, do you? the good you do? so think on this' - and told him Sami's idea - 'you are the grit, we are the oyster' - he thought about it for a second or two and said 'i get that', laughed and seemed to like it. i left with a smile on my face...

What a fantastic night!! In my opinion the best of the Tour, closely followed by the first night in Bristol [the best musically, i think] and the Cavern, for being the first special night James had come home to us...

We made it outside and re-grouped - eventually grabbed cabs back to the Ibis, sweet FA open around there - 24/7 snacks and bar open back there... back about 23.10 or 15 - we did get drinks fairly quickly but there was one man on Reception and he checked in new arrivals first - about four, then two more, could we order the food now? no, they were out of tuna, no, they were out of burgers - and we got more drinks as it was approaching midnight and last orders - then getting in our food order, finally - three more arrivals - and at last, chugging off to the kitchen to make snacks for our now starving crew...

**i sat and thought about Lisa - i called to her after the interview but she took off running, saying how busy she was or somesuch and watched her go, wondering just what she thought i was going to say... but as i was waiting for James, she was there and i managed to catch her eye and i said, 'Lisa, all i was going to say was 'great interview', that's all'... she moved forward and touched my arm saying 'thank you' and i moved on to James... Did she seriously think i was going to make a scene? who knows... Contrary to your personal opinion, i neither pick fights nor am a bully, Lucky - overreact much?**

i had asked Susie to bring some of Char's munchies and stuff down in the car, and Char had me open a large packet of nuts and dried fruit, which i distributed by the handful to those that wanted them until this Person got his act together... we had gathered by then he was the only person there... but Char, Sami and the rest of us needed food... Eventually we all ate around 12.30...!

Susie and i had got all our stuff together then and we said goodbye and goodnight. She brought round the car round while i said my goodbyes to Char & Lynnie and we set off down to Wiltshire.

We made decent time out of Coventry and when we hit the route Susie had already driven a couple of times, she was rocking... we got down in good time again and crept in, trying not to disturb her husband and daughter... i wrote up my journal till my eyes closed sitting up and then crashed about 04.30... More later guys!! coffee calls...

Is it morning? It is so quiet here where Jamesrocks lives, the birds are bloody noisy!! You would not believe the local wildlife - we counted eight rabbits, SIX foxes and several cats on our first night drive back from Bristol but only one James...!!

Ok! having just demolished my second cup of coffee, made sure my vocal cords can produce more than the sexiest growl you have ever heard! and wolfed down some toast - i am now part of the human race again, i think! Susie took me into Bristol and we had lunch in the Fleece, joining ostile 17, Angie and minions. ChrisUK called and arrived to have lunch too - we stayed there till they closed to rearrange at about 15.00 hrs and started queuing in earnest - luckily there is a pub next door, the Seven Stars, and happy to let us use the facilities as we bought drinks too.. their food is good and we had lunch there the next day, a very good Shepherds Pie and Susie said the Fishermans was good too, fish fillet on the bottom and a mash with veg over the top.. And not expensive either..

the fold-up chair was a good idea but the second night, the uneven pavement became too much for it and one of struts started to bend and the metal sheared and that was the beginning of the end... i wound up leaving it inside the Fleece... still it was worth the £8 i paid for it, in the Sale.

The first night at Bristol was electric! we had such a good time talking and laughing in the queue and greeting the Usual Suspects that we all put up with getting soaked with the rain towards the end of the wait. A couple of the girls so kindly tried to help keep me dry but i could feel the rain trickle down my back and soak into my knickers! My hair for saturated and we mostly belonged to the Drowned Rat Society by the time we got in!

Al Britten goes from strength to strength and even though he admitted to being terrified the first night, he hid it well [apart from a bit of a tremor in the hands] and his set was glorious. We were all starting to learn some of the lyrics and sing some back to him and on the second night, we had the choruses down pat and he actually turned the guitar down slightly so he could hear us and had the cutest little grin on his face!

We had a short break before James came on and were all champing at the bit... and there he was... in full living Techicolour, huge grin and bouncing on his toes! Kicked off with his current opener 'Every Man' and i love it more every time i hear it. Again, i'll let those who picked up the setlist tell you what order it came in but the second one was 'Finer than Gold'.

i'm afraid, dear Aria , you are going to have to wait for the complete words to this, as every time he plays it and he chokes up, i cry. i was wedged up against stage in a little alcove the first night and managed pretty well to stay upright, even to take pictures... not sure how they will come out, real film here not digital, and that damned red spotlight was behind his head. Pandis and Sami are doing there usual bloody wonderful picture taking and i have seen some of them and all i can say is WOW! just wait till you see them!

When i spoke to James in Coventry, i told him how much i loved the new song and this night as he finished, i wiped the tears off my face and just put up my hand in the 'love you' sign and he took a huge step sidways and reached down and enfolded my hand in his big warm one, squeezing gently... goddess, i love those hands.

i found myself watching them play on the second night, letting the music wash over me - dragging my eyes back up to his face and then back to watch them again... He has improved his playing so much and found his 'voice' i think... more of everything, more blues, James, and stop that damn apologising that you're not black - anyone can sing the blues, even if you are on the Internet! i have heard Americans say even British blues singers are pretty good, so you have no problem!

'Finer than Gold' is pretty much waltz time and is one of the lovliest things i have heard for a long time... straight from the heart - you keep doing that, you can't loose, honey..

Didn't see Tony Head arrive with daughters, had my back to the door and him - i just thought from the noise, some woman was giving birth! But i'm pretty damn sure James would have been delighted to see him.

Some of our girls got some serious eye contact from El Gorgeous, eh Susie?!! and we loved it all... enough to ignore the wet clothes, sore feet and smokey hair!

i wore the first of the tees Mrs Tigger made for me, that night, with RavenU's pic and Sisterhood of James on the back and as i was waiting for Jamesrocks to buy a couple of things and stood in the entrance, so many people looked and admired it!! Clever girl, Tigger baby! It was well lusted after... yay!

Sami, Pandis, Jamesrocks and i found another excellent Chinese round the corner and had the place to ourselves for a while and then ostile17 & crew came in also seeking sustenance... Damned expensive tho.

We got back to Susie's and we were late; she had made the mistake of telling husband we'd be home at a certain time and hadn't allowed for any socialising [or food] - *shrugs* - made up for it second night by not staying and going straight home - the girls didn't mind and i'm all for keeping husbands happy...

Last night was pretty much the same - Except for the rain, it held off, thank you Deities!! Pandis and FrenchDaria kept me plied with hot chocolate in the queue and it was very welcome. i got to see some of Pandis' shots and man, they are so damn good... i offered to adopt her on the spot but she said with such seriousness, i don't think my mother would like that, i settled for being an honourary Aunty - and we both grinned... Super, super shots...

Apart from a broken guitar string that delayed the proceedings by an hour & 15 mins!! Nearly killed my knees & hip - Worth the wait and again terrific work from Al [Chrisuk took some good pics of him and presented him with one from the queue when he arrived, which i think blew him away, it was really good] and sheer heaven from James...

it was hard to relax when your body hurts but i did try to get into it and smile more, as James looked a bit puzzled that we were a little slow to respond. He relaxed and was his lovely self... his music is so good and i love anything that voice does and does well.... Bristol was a top place for his music, way to go, baby!!

One girl in the audience called that she had just bought the CD and James called back in a little sing-song voice 'love you!' and i said clearly - 'Hell, [and he looked at me with interest] some of us have three or four now!' and he sang out again 'love you more!' which made us laugh... i was actually thinking not only of us but of Char, who does indeed have four... There was the little girlie near me who wanted to pass something for him to sign [one of the action Spikes in its box!!!] - while he was singing! and i told her to go to Collectormania and have it signed there... she apologised after the song and said she didn't know it was on... another couple were not as polite and tried to thrust things at him as he was leaving the stage, fended off i am glad to say by Bookie? not sure, deflected anyway.. Gotta go! our day off and i am going to Stonehenge today!

Finer Than Gold [words taken down by Chrisuk]

"I forgot what you looked like.. I forgot your skin.. I wanted to stand up, make you a mountain. I wanted to gather some stars in my hands, throw 'em before you like they were sand... cos i wanted you glowing so you could see, what i'm seeing when I behold you. I forgot your skin

I'm not a rich man I just had to prove gather some gold dust and flung it on you.. but gold doesn't suit you not on your skin.. like a drunk in the morning it just doesn't fit in... you're finer than gold, finer than gold

so now i sit here alone in my room, holding this necklace thinking of you. I just want to break it, dig it a hole.. I know you forgive me, cause' how could I know? you're finer than gold, finer than gold

so Happy Birthday, I don't have a gift... I've spent all my money.. I only have this.. you're finer than gold, you're finer than gold, finer than gold."

and i cry every time he does....

28/4/05 Well, Stonehenge was amazing and we had a good drive there - not a terribly nice day and very little light for photography, so took the digital and got some shots.

Damn, that wind was cold. By the time i had gone 3/4 of the way round, my fingers were so numb i could barely move them. We didn't linger.

If we had known James would be there later, we might have stayed around but we didn't... He came and did the same as us and towards the end of the day, Char, Spicy & Shopgirl came on a tour - so the Henge was damn well visited that day!

We drove back up to Avebury and had a very nice vegetarian lunch. A quick visit to the shop - i bought a fruit cake with whiskey in a tin [so he could have his cake and eat it too!] and some chocolate for James, postcards for Maribeth and me and sternly resisted a new folding chair at a cool £40!!

Walking round part of the circle at Avebury oddly enough, impressed me more than Stonehenge, ain't that a kick? it is the only place i know, where part of the village is inside the circle. Took pics of my own, with Susie as a yardstick [that was my excuse anyway!] and the couple of postcards as backup incase nothing comes out... Some have on digital, so cool..

Finally managed to have dinner with Susie's family, proving i wasn't the phantom visitor! going to bed after they did and getting up when they had gone to school & work.... Hellova nice guy, Alan and very smart... not just for marrying Susie! We had a very nice dinner and some booze and some talk which all went down very nicely... i get so little interaction with the outside world nowadays, it was a real treat.

29th April - Carling Academy, Islington

We got the early train into London, thanks for the lift, Alan! and then onto the underground Waterloo to Leicester Square - horrific lack of escalators or lifts - all fucking stairs!! So when we hit street level, took a cab the rest of the way to Covent Garden.

Sami & Pandis were just down the corridor from us and i sat and socialised while Susie shot off to Angel to check on the queue... more than i thought it was, by the time we got there [and managed to find where we were supposed to go] but not huge and 'do-able' - Mrs Tigger was already there and had brought Char's folding chair for me - thank heavens.. sat there long enough to establish my place with the surrounding girls and then went off and had lunch with Sami - got back to the queue to find Katiemarie had come looking for me - so shot off to the York pub across the street from the shopping mall and she came dashing out to greet me!! What a poppet she is - cut her lovely hair!! still looks cute, of course... we gossed for a while and the Usual Suspects were there [ChrisUK, Medusa, Cally, Leevamp & Duster] and Silver Jamie turned up with Genevieve, then Daria. CarolM wandered over to say hello, odd woman.

Susie phoned and said come back, queue changing - shot over to rejoin her, Mrs Tigger, Inky Jane and Angela - Spicy and Shopgirl had arrived by then too... Char resting up for St James the next night...

The Carling crew were pretty stupid and cut the queue in half and brought them up along side the ones who had been there a hellova lot longer - a lot of bad feeling there... They let us in about 19.00 and i tried to get the chair put in a cloakroom but there were so many STREAMING passed me, i said 'Hell with it!' and clumsily climbed the stairs with it [pursued by calls of 'Madam! yes, you can leave it with us' when i was half way up, too fuckin late ]- by the time i found Sami, Angela and Inky, the stage was 7 or 8 deep already and we hadn't a hope in hell of getting anywhere near it.... [i admit i despaired... had to be one that went tits up, didn't there?]

Anyway, Angie & Inky set off looking for stairs for us to sit on and found the balcony, called us and we went on up too... Pandis joined us and i found square footstools for her and Sami, so with the chair we had seats... ok we were looking through the bars like we were in a cage but we were able to sit and enjoy the concert... Spicy, Shopgirl, Leevamp, Cally joined up - met Questain *waves* hi sweetie! sorry, we didn't have a lot of time there... i saw Eliane and her gorgeous husband and managed a couple of words after the concert..

Saw Susie almost below me, wedged in with no room to move - Duster, Chrisuk et al were a lot further over, near Daria - Ostile 17 managed a front row place i'm glad to say... **Honey, do remember to tell me what the wonderful perfume is called - don't forget now!**

The support band was called 'Stryngs' and a very competant group of professional musicians - but i can't say i cared either for the singer String or her gloomy, death ridden songs - or the long and involved explanation of each and every song - sing already and get on with it!! Singer's voice nothing remarkable and i could barely understand a word she sang... She strung it out so long the natives were getting restless...

There were two factions in the crowd of rowdy girlies who had come for the GOTR James and Spike - whenever they got a chance, they chanted 'We want James' and String foolishly said we will sing one more song and if you like us enough, we may do one more - they didn't. i felt sorry for them but i had had enough by then too, if i am brutally honest..

Finally at about 21.30, James arrived on stage... wearing the Tattaglia shirt, lots of silver around his neck and what looked like a heart in filligree again - found out later it holds plecs? blue jeans and those weird black sneakers with the hollow heels.. looked damn fine though... He said his hellos and kicked off with 'Every Man' as he had on each night - he gave them a damn good set list with a new one 'London City' - part of which he goofed - ending on 'What i need' - mucho screams from the girlies. They were a pain actually, yelling - yes - 'take your shirt off' and worse 'Fuck me, James!' There are a couple of shots of his face after that one... i'd hate to cause that look..

Some of them came to realise that the man had changed and the music had changed and Mrs Tigger met some of them again in Collectormania7 and they were apologetic and getting into the new CD and the new sound... cool...

He did his 'how many guys in the house, brought by the girlfriends' and chatted a bit, then i called down to him - "James, there are more of us up here" and he looked up, against the light, and said "I can't see you, baby"... i knew he couldn't but i just wanted to let him know the rest of the 'Regulrs' were there, even if he couldn't see us - that was enough.

**He did tell Susie he saw her at every Concert, didn't he, honey? so i'm hoping he saw me too at St James, as i was sitting next to her but i have no way of knowing...**

We then played the 'i'm going, you scream and i'll come back' game and he sang 'Dangerous', 'Birth of the Blues' and last 'Finer than Gold'.... the girls reckoned he was glancing up at me - well, he did glance up once or twice and my vanity wants to believe he was looking for me - i cried again...

He got well cheered off and some terrific applause.... Well, if i am totally honest, this concert was not his finest hour - his playing was all over the place and he goofed words and chords. i know it would rattle me, to have people yelling at me and talking and so on.... and it all goes so fast...

We took awhile to regroup outside and then tried to find somewhere to eat - Medusa was the local girl on the ground as it were but having spent the afternoon in the pub, she was totally useless [no, she wasn't hungry, how about a drink?] and walked us around until i got tired of it and took some local advice that turned out equally as useless - decided to grab cabs and go to Soho - we lost Medusa, Duster & Chris and Inky & Angela decide to go elsewhere?

Spicy, Shopgirl, Mrs Tigger, Susie, Sami & Pandis followed me and i found a place close by that had an iteresting Ango-Chinese mix and who agreed to feed us at nearly 23.00hrs - way to go!! They turned out to be excellent and most of us had a great steak dinner. Afterwards, we spilled out and i grabbed a couple of cabs and we went back to digs. Susie and i had a look around the area, saw a pharmacy and an interesting place to have breakfast across the road but nothing that was 24 hr - Susie's throat was getting sore but we managed just fine the next day.

James knows we go socialising, dinning and drinking after his shows and he obviously likes it a lot - "lots of talking and no fighting, peple socialising from all over the world" he says. Love you too, baby; you know we do this. Fell alseep with my eyes open at 03.30 again... damn place, steam sets off the fire alarms...

30th April - St James

What a strange day that was. Started well, nice breakfast with Susie & Sami; Lene had a lie in. i went back and hung with them and Susie went to check out St James. She phoned and Lucia and Lady Macbeth had devised a queuing numbering system as the police didn't want heaps of people on the pavement. We were asigned numbers and Pandis & i grabbed a cab, leaving Sami to sleep [not very well] - the day then took a dip as we got an idiot taxi driver who didn't appear to know where St James Church, Piccadilly was and we had to get out and have another one take us to where we wanted to be - i rang Susie and tried to get a reference - just up from Fortnum & Masons, fine! and finally got there.

We greeted Lucia and various others in the queue and as there is a small craft market in the courtyard of St James we had something to look at, do a bit of shopping and use the Cafe Nero next to the Church. Susie had a look round before we arrived and wanted to show me some glorious velvet jackets and wraps she had seen. Some lovely stuff and i fell in love with a superb blue velvet wrap [politely declining to try it on to the seller's amusement, as i may not have been able to take it off again!!] and the little love bought it for me. i didn't know she had and was looking at some Egyptian tat when she presented it to me and i promptly burst into tears. Happy tears but pulled myself together, so sweet, i do adore that woman...

i was trying to get hold of Lynnie. Her phone was off and i just had to wait to find out what was happening with Char as they had just moved hotels - Raddisson Apartments? Susie hoofed it over to the Radisson Hotel to find out what was up and phoned saying they are in the Hotel, come on over. So Pandis and i got into another cab! and went and joined them. By the time we got there, Susie had disappeared...

i had so wanted to be with Char part of that day at least but we didn't even get that as they were all preparing to leave!! we should have stayed where we were... Spicy was in full 'in charge' mode, so i just stepped back and let her go - she wasn't going to be biting my head off again soon, if i could help it. I know Spicy has had a lot to contend with over the past six months but it really isn't my fault or my problem, love.... i love Mobsters and it is my home and yes, i guess we will butt heads once in a while... sobeit, i can live with that, i ain't going anywhere.

When the queue was finally let into the church, [i sat just inside the gate till Susie came in] we managed to get a pew about five rows back on the left side and we were eight to a pew. Spicy, Char and Shopgirl were on our left a bit further forward. Lucia, Sami & Pandis got into the front row and so apparently did Patricia - on the other side.

Chrisuk said she saw them arrive and James did not do his wave to the crowd but just went straight in and left her to scurry in, in his wake... to a deathly silence apparently, nobody seemed to know what to say... 'Hi, James!' would have done, guys...

'Stryngs' were support again and honestly? i can make out two words in five when she sings, she slurrs the rest.. same gloomy set again and same gloomy lengthy explanations... depress us, why don't you? like we aren't already... [i read a very funny report on them, He: 'All her songs are about dying and death: She: - 'so don't let her buy you a drink then'...!!]

Short 15 mins break announced by Lisa - then she announced James and the rafters rang in welcome....

He gave us a shortened set list and there were a couple of laughs - "Can someone save my sorry ass and get my set list from the dressing room?" and Lisa shot off and got it... He looks marvellous but not very good lighting again, so no idea what i will get from there.

James did the go-out-come-back game and the last song was 'Finer than Gold'. He kept it together this time and didn't crack up - probably cause she was there - but i did... i sat there thinking, this is the last time i will see him sing for maybe a very long time and the tears slid down my face...

i felt it was a rather subdued concert and it was very apparent throughout that he was playing to the right side a lot and when i heard Patricia was there, it made sense - he did give some eye contact to the balcony and some in the front rows but nowhere near the amount i thought he usually did or should have done, seeing it was the last Concert - and i was not alone, quite a few felt almost left out and i heard it voiced that he seemed to be 'asking her permission' by looking at her so much - for what i am not sure.

i did hear it said later that he had said 'i love you Helena' in Bristol - let me set that straight immediately, he did NOT, he said 'Angel' was still for Helena - 'Over now' is about Liz and 'Poor Robyn' speaks for itself, so what? He is honest enough to name previous girlfriends - Big deal, not

i hope he heard the noise we made for him as he left - i stood with the whole audience and we yelled, whistled and woo-hoo'd till i was hoarser than ever....

we milled around saying are you going to Collectormania or goodbye if they weren't and slowly dispersed. i called 'good job' to Steve Himber [got a smile & a wave] and Lisa, Louise and Lilicat...

thank you, goddess, for the girls... they save my sanity on a regular basis... Sami & Pandis went back to the Hotel [getting up very early next morning] and the rest of us [Char, Spicy, Nicole, Susie, Lynnie and me] went and found a nearby pizzaria for dinner - Cally, Silver Jamie, Inky Jane and Angela were there before us and having a good time! we did have some laughs all together and it was good.

i modelled the velvet wrap Susie bought me and Cally took a couple of pics, promising to send them to me... **Don't forget now, girl!**

Sunday 1/5/05 - Collectormania 7

Susie shoo'd us out of the Hotel an hour early, no breakfast, nothing...! She was worried we wouldn't get virtual tickets for James [we were all bused down there, no trains] and she was right - about half an hour after the doors open they had just about all gone, mostly cause they had been queuing since 01.00am apparently and even the early ones like Sami & Pandis [who did get tickets but 1065 or some such] missed out - no knowing where to go or which gate was nearest...

i eventually got some breakfast and some lunch later... Susie took off and i sometimes found myself walking some way behind them, as she and Lynnie got deep in conversation.. *shrugs* i got tickets for Dean Stockwell and Kali Roche - £15 each i so did not need to spend... She is a lovely lady and i had Lynnie take pics for me. Dean is getting to be an old man but still a nice old man! - i have my eyes closed in that one, damn it.

Spent some time with Sami & Pandis, who were waiting about pretty much like i was... Susie, Tigger baby et al went and queued for Alexis and so on... i saw ASH doing autographs and looking good and i called in on the girls queuing and saw James coming back from a break, we called hi but he was in Con-mode and focused on getting through...

We decided to go early-ish for the Watchers Talk & James and took a cab down - took a while - only to find the queue was Horrendous for the first and fairly small for the second!!

We conferred and those of us with James tickets decided to forego ASH & Alexis and start with James. Susie shot upstairs to have a look when her turn came around to go in and not long afterwards, she came back out!! Long narrow room and so far back she could barely see anything, so cut her losses.

Jo was doing the queue supervising and saw me and said go up and join the disabled lot, with Sami. Thank you for that. The lass with lukemia? was there and remembered me from Harvest, sweet and we got to go up after the wheelchair lady, in the lift.

The organisers had made such a ham fisted job of trying to organise the two Talks - by moving all the Watchers with James tickets to the left side and trying to put all the James ones on the right. We were told to go up to the front and get seats - to find there weren't any but one of the guys said how many chairs do you need? made a quick count and Sami found a seat about four? rows back so 4 please, which we got in fairly short order and he put them at the front to one side - so from disaster to amazing seats in one move.

Organiser made a short speech, basically saying we know its not perfect but the best we could do at short notice... like or lump it... o-kay.... and here was James...

i had the best view of him of our lot for closeness and i got one or two nice pics, Pandis still did better than me of course, half way back! but i am not too depressed about that.

James was in a very good mood and i saw Patricia come in quietly and stand to one side - Very pretty girl, about 25?, slender and 'long dark hair' - he's consistent anyway! [Mind you, i can't sit in judgement... not that i would... i like 'em young too...!!]

James was in bouncy mood and asking for bolder/more daring questions, not promising to answer but ask... He enjoyed fielding questions like "What is your bedroom like?" - all bed, lots of pillows and blankets and "Do you sleep naked?" - YES!! [see below]

the following Part of Q&A from Collectormania - James' Talk

Do you prefer sex or motorbikes? [instant answer] Sex. Some discussion on it being a different question for men, power between the legs etc and how men are the machines, baby!!

You said you had to wear a little sock for some of the naked scenes? Is there something we should be told? [done with laughter and some giggling] - James: [also laughing], No, I have to say it was quite a big sock.

Wendy, from BAP, posted a report of James' q&a and okayed reposting. Here are a few bits. [ i have added bits she has left off and i don't know if she saw Patricia come in.]

Q. What was the worst thing to happen on this tour? JM. I broke my G string. (Audience screams with laughter) My 'E' string!! I broke my E string. (James doubles up laughing.)

[Duster, At the Cavern - We also had the obligitory *take your shirt off* shouted a few times, as James said in a stange high pitched voice " I don't see a $20 in my G-string, do you see a $20 in my G-string" that got the point across very nicely]

i caught his eye grinning and said 'brought my $20!' and he swiftly replied 'it's gone up!!' laughing..

A new string takes about 12 hours to settle down and it was 3 in the afternoon (Friday.) This guy said a hair dryer would do the trick so he took the guitar and found a pub where there was a dryer in the men’s room. It worked but we had to keep people waiting. (Helen and Wendy remark in unison, Yes, us!!) it is not good for the guitar either!!

Q [this girl comes from Quebec] I am French Canadian. Why don’t you ever come to Canada? What about your Canadian fans? JM I do go to Canada. I work in Canada. I love Canada. In fact I go to Vancouver often.

At this point Steve Himber comes out to remind James he will be in Toronto at the end of August. Audience roars in laughter and James covers his face.

Then a question "Did he think Spike worked better on Buffy or Angel?" James replied that there was more ground for characters in Angel. Spike didn’t give crap for the characters in Buffy with the exception of Buffy and Dawn. But Spike had raped the main character. Tried to anyway.

Q What was your first job? JM Professionally? My first job was at the Goodman. In the Tempest there was a change in the casting and I got to play Ferdinand. (James then relates at length the whole story of the Tempest and the naked bit etc. – Wendy) Also talked about doing various Shakespeare roles, too old for Hamlet but not old enough for King Lear - i said quietly, 'we'll wait' and i got a look and a 'thank you'...

Q. What is your favourite part of a woman? JM (with no hesitation) The woman. As Sami so rightly pointed out, James added 'there are no bad parts on a good woman'

Q. What is your bedroom like? JM. There are no pictures of me in it! It’s mainly full of boxes because I travel so much. The bed is like a temple in the middle of it, [with lots of pillows and blankets] - I just crawl in and crash..

He was also asked if he sleeps naked - A: Yes, I do. I sleep naked.

Q. Did you get any injuries while on Buffy? JM. Yes, I have an arthritic spine. It was Joss’s idea to work over a stone floor. That caused some problems. It can really hurt when I first get out of bed.

One fan said how well, fit and happy he looked - James did that little boy thing of throwing out his arms and said, "Thank you, I'm in love!" - i glanced across to Patricia and she had a big smile...

Q. If you could be a toy, what would it be? JM - A dildo. (Audience laughs) Remembered the little girl playing on the floor, clapped his hand over his mouth and then said hastily - "Yes, which everyone knows is a stuffed animal! with kinda long ears" and gave up, laughing - we assured him it went over her head.. [Patricia was doing herself a mischief trying not to laugh but had a marvellous gleam in her eye when the same questioner said 'i do have a vibrating toy for you' - James roared with laughter and said something to the effect that he didn't need one, he was the machine!] - the little girl was allowed to do what she wanted and i have to say, she was becoming very annoying and distracting us and James, until she got tired and lay down in the aisle... bloody showbiz mother...

Wendy said that many questions and answers were repeats of those he's always asked... he mentioned that he and Joss spoke about two weeks ago and Joss asked if he was still interested in a Spike movie... he repeated that he is, but as a "middle-aged man" time is a factor. Also mentioned he would like to do theatre in England but has family commitments for the next 10 years.

He was thanked for coming and also thanks to Patricia for making him happy [nice round of applause, not sure if most realised she was there]- i think he was pleased about that.

i had asked for the last question and got it - i waited until it quietened a little and said, 'James, i got a serious question for you' - 'oh good', he said [trying to look like he meant it!] - 'tell me, what is the attraction of going Commando?!'

i got that wonderful quick grin as the crowd laughed - then he said, absolutely straight faced - 'It's just one thin piece of denim between you and me, baby...!' and i was delighted by his quick wit!!

He said his goodbyes and he came off the dais, laughing at me and made that little kissy moue at me and i made one back - **Thud** - and he was gone - oh, baby, so was i!!

James actually went down to the back for people to take pics as it was so damned far away - which did not please the people in the middle, who had also been ignored by the guy with the mike.... not a very good scenario... So some happy people but more very unhappy with the sitch.

We made our way out and took a bit of time to sort ourselves out, as to who was doing what. Lynnie said she wanted to start queuing as soon as we had some dinner, a takeout if possible and find the door we needed for the following morning - i agreed and we eventually got cars, taxis etc sorted for all of us.

Got ourselves sorted for overnight queuing, grabbed KFC and made our way over to the mall to check out the gates and it was just as well we did. We were walking round to where Lynnie had been told James would be when i suddenly saw the sign he had been sitting under, THIS side of the mall. We stopped to check it out and Susie went round to see if there was anyone queuing on the other side. Lynnie backtracked and found Gate 14 had signs taped to the glass, saying 'Queue here for James Marsters' - she hoofed it to find Susie and i went to stand at Gate 14. The Centre Security guys came round checking and i made friends, telling them we would be queuing, and what loves they turned out to be. We assembled and set ourselves up.

About midnight, it became apparent Susie wasn't feeling the best and we shoo'd her back to the Hotel to lie down and rest. One of us would be back around 04.30 to change and check on her and turnabout, anyway. Kath arrived to join us, then Jude & Mary [two cars at our disposal for comfort stops etc, terrific] and i cannot remember the last time i laughed so much or had that much fun overnight with my clothes on! i do remember telling about a dream i had...

The Security guys, Kevin & Paul, came and made themselves known to the rest of the group and checked on us on a regular basis for the rest of our stay there - even turning up in the early hours about 03.00 with hot coffee & chocolate for us, wot little treasures! [i sent an email to the Centre praising them when i got home and had a nice reply saying they were pleased we were looked after, thanks for the good feedback!]

The time passed so quickly, i forgot to take my pills and when i got up to stretch my legs, my hip muscles had locked and it took the four of them to pull me up! Jude very kindly took me back to the Hotel and i had tablets, a hot drink and a shower in quick succession - made Susie a drink too as she wasn't feeling too good. i lay down for about 3/4 of an hour, till Lynnie turned up on a break - we got ourselves sorted for daywear etc and all went back to the Mall.

Sami & Pandis turned up not long after that and then quite a few started to arrive about 06.00 - i did sit in the car for a while and wrote up my journal but started to fall asleep, so got out and re-joined the girls. We took some more pictures and i am glad to say they came out, see Mrs Tigger for those.

The daytime Security took over and Sami & i were allowed to sit just inside the door on a metal bench, thankyouthankyou, around 08.30? Steff who had been organising James's queue the day before, turned up and got the staff all organised - and called us through when they were ready for us. The main doors opened at 09.00 but the queue stayed where it was until 10.00, when we were started in.

Steff offered tickets and i said we really don't need them do we, give #1 to Lynnie and made sure he knew which one she was - he already knew who you were, girl! Sami & i were shunted to the front of the line and we went and paid our money...

Sami was taking her time geting sorted and then Lynnie and the girls came in and i sat and said go - she was the first, sweetie. And oh goddess, i so nearly made the fatal and awful mistake of getting too close - just managed to hang back enough... could you imagine the look on James' face if i hadn't?!! i cringe at the very thought of it... but she had her moments and made him laugh, a lot.

Then it was my turn... i meant to take the picture from the redhaired cutie [i can never remember her name to my shame] and let him have a moment without signing but she had already given it to him... so he signed it and i told him we had been queuing all night, gave him the goodies i'd brought him, said my bit about having cake and eating it, ha ha - pretty lame...and he looked inside and said with a grin, 'food' or 'good' i don't remember which and my mouth was moving but i felt so sad and i just dried up and looked at him... i was tired, not very well and just a bit spaced out... i could have come up with something like, 'great Tour, wonderful concerts', even 'see you in October, honey'... and what did i say? 'this is the last day...' and tears started to gather in my eyes [to my horror] and he took my hand in both of his and never said a word, just looked at each other - i felt the muscles bunch in his hands and he pushed them down slightly on the desk, like he was going to stand, stopped himself and we just smiled at each other [i did appreciate the gesture, even if that was all it was]- i said 'bye' and he said 'bye' and i got out of there before i made a complete fool of myself...........

It doesn't matter if you are 16, 36 or 66 - James is the common denominator that reduces everything to one level. His, and we are...

Lynnie was buzzing and on a high - i was so depressed it was hard to smile but i did. We waited for the girls and then went and had some breakfast - then it was back to hotels to get bags and sort out travelling...

Big goodbyes to everyone - if you didn't have the Bug by then, you would have had it now... even in retrospect and still hacking up a lung, it was so sodding worth it...

i guess i could have hung out with Susie some more and gone and seen some of the Dr Who people like i'd wanted to - truthfully? too sad and too tired to care.

Kath took us back to the Hotel [thank you, for all your help, sweet red dragon!] and not a lot later Lynnie, Mary & i cabbed it to the station...

Train to Birmingham, changed there with just enough time and a bit of help to get the York train... i remember very little about it really - cause it was fairly early in the day, it wasn't full and i had two seats to myself all the way up... wrote up my journal and then dozed on and off most of the way there.

Got myself totally screwed which way i was going and a guy grabbed my bag and got me over the bridge to the local train - thank you, whoever you were - and i was shaking and falling asleep for the rest of the short hop - feeling pretty awful by this time and SO TIRED - fell into a cab and home - a cuppa and then i crashed about 20.30!!

The full-on flu hit and i spent the next four days with no voice, no tastebuds or smell, trying to work, not die and try to keep my eyes open long enough after work to eat and fall into bed again...

goddess, i felt so bad - i was drowning from the inside... coughing so much i started throwing up, kept a bucket by the bed as i couldn't make it to the bathroom... oh what a mess... hung on like grim death till the weekend and just collapsed...

a bit better the following Monday - i fairly sure i wasn't going to die now... still no taste or smell, managing a very sexy growl and not much more... Still got through the week and this last weekend, feeling much better.

i still can't talk for long but i feel i do have a handle on this think now...so onward and ah, upward, my little James droolers.... all done here - just work on my pics now... have a good week, luvs!

nice to meet you too, babe! we never have enough time to greet all the people we'd like to and trying to find somewhere to eat after gigs can take up a lot of time!see you in October? hope sotake careJill

nice to hear from you - glad you like the read! do you have a copy of James' CD Civilised Man yet? cause i have one you can have it not - let me know, yeah?miss you too, not the same - a concert for James and no Ant-je!!take care, sweetsJill xx