Taking That Next Step

M. and I celebrated our four-year anniversary recently, after delaying the celebrations for about two months. (Two months?! Yeah, I’m impressed by how long we delayed it too. It was poor timing on our actual anniversary because I was inundated with freelance work, and then more stressful things kept popping up!) To celebrate, we went to a Spanish tapas place and ate way too much food. Of course, I had to put together a special outfit to mark the occasion:

Four years is a ridiculously long amount of time to me. Before M., I’d never had a relationship last longer than six months. I find it very difficult to trust myself and others, and I don’t have an easy time letting go and relaxing. Our relationship has been an exercise in both of those things. Somehow, in the midst of all my worries about the future (both founded and unfounded) and my fear of being hurt, I’ve still managed to stick with this person and grow alongside him. There are plenty of ups and downs: I am a much flightier person than I would like to admit (see: trust issues), and there are plenty of painful misunderstandings between us. We still have many things we need to improve on. But M.’s commitment to keep working through everything together is what makes it comfortable for my hand to find its way back into his in the end. And I’m glad we continue to have the chance to learn from one another.

Now that that bit of sentimentality is over, I’d like to announce that. . . M. and I moved in together last month! This step feels both gigantic and small at the same time. We’d talked about this possibility in the past, but with all of our uncertainties about life, we weren’t sure that it was a good idea. Then, suddenly, three months ago, it sort of clicked in our heads that it didn’t make sense to keep living apart. Yes, we still have a lot of looming question marks, but we also know each other so well. We’ve always made a point of trying to communicate as much as possible (although that is not always easy). We already spend half of the week with one another. Rent is expensive. And in the worst case scenario, we know we’re both mature enough to be reasonable with each other. So, now we are roomies and partners! I’m really enjoying it so far. It’s wonderful to come home to the person you love, and to be next to that same person every morning. And it’s very nice to be able to split household duties. 😁 There are a few living-quarters issues to iron out, as there almost always is in any roommate situation, but I think we’re doing okay. I’m pretty determined to make our household as eco-friendly as possible, so we’ll see how that goes. M. is very open to composting, but I sense some hesitation about my idea to get up early every Sunday morning and jog to the farmer’s market . . . *Brandishes riding crop* I will not allow any lazy Sundays in this apartment! 😈😉

Having to fit two apartments’ worth of stuff into one has also taught me a huge lesson in economy and minimalism. Even though I’ve been moved in for about a month now, I’m still not fully unpacked because there isn’t enough space for me to arrange all of my stuff. I’ll need to start downsizing, truly, truly downsizing. It’ll be a good thing. As much as I love “stuff,” having so many possessions can also be anxiety inducing, especially when I’m trying to find something and I have no idea where it could be. I’ve been trying to be more minimalist for years, but I don’t take any real steps unless I have no other choice. And now I’m in a situation again where I have no choice! So look forward to some posts about how I try to either repurpose or donate some of my overflowing stash of stuff!

Alright, that’s enough from me for today. Thanks, as always, for reading. And cheers to taking that next step. 🙂