Monday doesn’t have a good reputation. It’s the beginning of the work week and the start of time not being your own because it belongs to whoever employs you, which means that you have less time and freedom during the week and for me the dreaded commute…

I do like that Monday gives me an opportunity to reset my life. I have a new week with no mistakes in it and I get to decide the tone of that week. The tone of this week is going to be all about care and backbone.

Last night, Angie who blogs at Wandering Angie and I had a twitter conversation about feeling bad about being ill.

Really trying to stay positive but as I feel feel ill all I want to do is wallow in self pity.

It’s absolutely true, we do need to practice being kind to ourselves but sometimes being kind to someone means telling the truth and right now, the truth is, I really need to buck up my ideas.

Over the last month I’ve not felt good and things have slipped a bit, the house hasn’t been as organised, I’ve been slack about exercise for the whole of this year and although my diet has been ok, I still eat lots of green things and not much processed stuff, I’ve been eating far too much and too much sugar (the sweet table at work is not my friend!). My nails look terrible because I’m not giving them any attention and last week, my mother pointed out that I needed to shave my armpits, (seriously you could have plaited it). My back hurt all last week and while it’s much better now, it’s not fixed and it still hurts.

Today I have a doctors appointment and I know that he’s going to ask about my weight and it’s not going to be a conversation I enjoy. If I was exercising and felt fit, I wouldn’t worry at all about what I weigh, but I’m not and I don’t. I know I could be doing better. I’m not caring for myself in the right way and I need to start to exert a little more discipline over my life. Not because I’m useless, not because if I do I’ll be more worthy of love or attention or good things but because it would be a kind thing to do.

This week, I’m starting small with an improved diet, less sugar and more self and home care. I’ve said it before but it’s a lesson that I’m always going to have to come back to. So back to it!