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Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Reader be warned. This is a sensitive topic. If you are under 18 years old, move along, there is nothing to see here.

All women should know about the wonders of Coconut oil. It was actually a doctor who recommended it to me, but years before I was in the midst of perimenopause. She told me an older female patient of hers used it frequently and it helped to keep her "inner lining" from thinning out which is something that happens to women when menopause hits. It also helps to keep things from being dry when you are playing with a partner or by yourself. That was long before I was a few years before peri-menopause and I didn't start using it regularly until about a year and a half ago.

Photo by Willow

Oh my. It makes things feel so much nicer that I didn't know why I waited so long to use it. There is also an added benefit; you can play longer. Pre-coconut oil I would get very sore very quickly. When I started using coconut oil I realized that I wasn't getting sore and pleasure was lasting longer. I'm not sure how much more pleasurable things seem to be that are connected to the coconut oil and how much is menopause. I've heard that some women enjoy sex much more after menopause and, though I've always been one to enjoy it, it is phenomenal now.

I highly recommend you try coconut oil for yourself. I would suggest experimenting by yourself first to see how much, or how little, is just right for you. Besides, if you don't know how to please yourself, how in the world is your partner going to be able to please you?

This short haiku poem I wrote for a previous A to Z challenge, but if felt fitting.

Fertile, moist and dark

secrets hiding in the folds

waiting to be found

And then I found this poem from OctPoWriMo 2015:

Angst pulls at my shirt

Battering at my senses

Calling for action

Demanding that I pay attention

Entering a State of awareness

Falling into the stream

Giving room for inspiration

Having spun out of chaos

into the deep beginners mind

Jaw clenching and unclenching

Keeping my connection to my soul

Living to learn and be

Muses poke and prod me

Need prickles my skin

Ominous moments settle in

Precious time slipping by

Quietly collecting words

Relishing the building tension

Standing or sitting

Tender compassion for my journey

Unleashing my voice to the skky

Venturing into unknown territory

Widening the possibilities

Xrays of definable moments

Yes being spoken again and again

Zany words explode on the page

It seems I've been writing through menopause all along I just didn't realize it.

Writing for the A to Z challenge. Please leave your link with your comment below so that I can visit your A to Z posts as well. Happy Writing!

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Yes, I can be a bitch. But is it really being a bitch or is it enough is enough. If being over 50 isn't time to take for yourself when the heck is it? I raised two daughters and I've helped quite a lot with my granddaughters. Now when I say no, no I want to do this or that for myself, somehow that has turned into me being a bitch, being selfish, being anything but the compliant person who will take care of anything and everything that needs to be taken care of.

Monday, April 1, 2019

Life has been a roller coaster of emotions since becoming 50 over four years ago. I thought that once I was in my 50's I'd have everything figured out, know everything about myself (okay, you can stop laughing now), and be well established doing all the things I love and living how and where I love. Yeah, not so.

I was trying to write poetry for this A to Z challenge. Eight years ago I began this writing journey in full force, eight years, and I haven't written much poetry since 2014. Even though I had tremendous breakthroughs in my novel writing at the end of 2017 and beginning of 2018 I still wasn't writing poetry, or at least not much of it. This past weekend I set aside a four day retreat (dog sitting) with no other agenda except to write, dance, and play. Nope, it did not go well. Apprehension and anxiety reared their heads and instead spent the whole weekend avoiding the page; binge watching on Netflix and playing scrabble on my phone anything to stay away from the page, or the laptop.

This morning I awoke from a dream of snakes in the road and floating above and over them easily. After some thoughts about what this could mean, I decided to try again. I turned on some music, moved my body and asked, "What is my theme, what am I going to write about for this A to Z challenge that I am determined to help reignite my poetry?"

I thought of how it felt on my journey to becoming a crone. Ideas began to percolate as I moved to the tribal sounding music. Emotions, becoming a crone, how it feels to be in this stage of life, and I had it. I am going to write about the emotional journey of living in the second half of life, of moving through menopause, of doing my best to live an authentic life which I love; whether it is poetry, prose, or just stream of consciousness. Why limit myself especially since I seem to have so much anxiety attached to my poetry, still, after five years past the event that threw me into a tailspin over writing poetry. I'm determined to write my way through it as I often tell others to do.

Photo by MDragonwillow
Dinosaur footprints

Kicking my apprehension

and

anxiety to the curb

walking my own path

breathing in

the

cold spring air

allowing my journey

to

unfold

You know (if you've been around my journey at all) how much I love photography so I will be showing my photos that I've been collecting while walking and pet sitting fur babies. I see the most interesting things on our walks.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

I usually name a word for the year for something that I am trying to bring more of into my life. Some of the previous words have been, love, strength, courage, etc. I am participating in, Bridge to the New Year and for day 2 they are asking for our word for the year.

Over 2018 I've had many changes, most of them good, and though I feel blessed, I think I am finally ready to allow magic and miracles into my life.

Photo by MDragonwillow

My word for the year is...

Magical

I am open to seeing, feeling, doing, being, and bringing all things magical into my life.

What that means to me? It means I am going to allow myself to take more risks, put myself out there more, get all the stories I've written in the past year published. I am going to allow good things to flow into my life such as, the right and perfect place for me to live that has plenty of space for a garden. I am going to keep scheduling, Wild Writing, workshops and having fun with it even though getting in front of people makes me feel like I'm going to shake out of my skin. I'm going to join in the fun in making music with one of my beloveds, I'm a percussionist (but only in groups never in performances until now as he encourages me to play in public) and I'm embracing it. And to any other magical miracles that show up in my life because I am now fully open to them.

If you want to participate in, Bridge to the New Year, check out @BridgetoNew @JulieJordanScot and @spacecitypaula on Twitter or the hashtag, #BridgetotheNewYear

Saturday, December 1, 2018

I am starting late (no surprise), but I've decided to participate in, Bridge to the New Year in December. Everyday they are posting prompts on Twitter and I'm currently playing catch up. Here is the first one.

11 fun facts about me:

My tri-fold room divider headboard.

My teal hair.

1. I recently (in October) dyed my hair a fun color for the first time. It was teal and my next color will be purple. It isn't really unusual in this day and age, it seems a lot of people are dying their hair fun colors.
2. I am a writer, poet, and author but it doesn't pay the bills, yet. I decided if I had to do something for money it was going to be something fun, get me outdoors, and moving. I walk and pet sit dogs to support my writing life.
3. I have fun taking photos of the interesting things I see on my walks.
4. Since I am almost never home, I own a fish tank with fish and black mystery snails (no I don't know why they are a mystery), and I leave multiple day feeders for them when I'm not going to be around. I love watching the fish and snails in their tank.
5. This year there have been many changes for me and one of them is I am now living a polyamory life. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend and yes, they know about each other. This change has brought much fun and happiness into my days.
6. I walk near water every chance I get.
7. I often find heart shaped rocks in nature. One was shadowed on half of it showing the light and the dark of love and compassion.
8. I have about ten stuffed animals, most of them small, and most of them given to me by those I love. No, they aren't on my bed but I do display them on a shelf.
9. I use a tri-fold room divider as my headboard.
10. When I talk about writing, I think I glow.
11. I write erotic stories under a different name.

One of the fun things I've seen on my dog walks.

If you want to participate in, Bridge to the New Year, check out @BridgetoNew @JulieJordanScot and @spacecitypaula on Twitter or the hashtag, #BridgetotheNewYear

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Welcome

Grab a cup of tea or coffee (oh what the heck, get a danish too!) and sit a spell. You might want to grab your notebook and pen because you never know when you will be inspired to write down a quote, or jot down a poem of your own. Words are like that, they take you on a journey and the next thing you know you are breathing life into your own magical world of words.

P.S.

If you've noticed different names floating around this blog, there is a reason and some of you may know the reasons already. I will be sharing all of it on the A to Z blog post - N - Names and Identity, this month.