Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Sucker

So, I'm in a wedding this Saturday and I thought I'd try and at least look a little different than I usually do. I figured if I went to get my hair done I'd just come out looking like I should be singing at the Grand Ol' Opry, so I ventured to the nearest Clinique counter for some wedding-day make-up tips.

Big mistake. I should've known better because I've been to these places before and have never been pleased, but I had a little faith that today would be different. I sat down in the chair and told the lady that I sucked at doing eye make-up and asked if she could help. It turns out that she sucks even more than I do. Everything was actually okay until I felt her drawing onto my eyebrows with an eyeliner pencil. A hot panic, similar to the one I mentioned in the last post, came over me as I thought, "What the hell?! She's drawing me eyebrows! I already have eyebrows!" She spun me around to the mirror, proud of the new thicker eyebrows she had just bestowed upon me that were at least three shades darker than my real ones, and looked like they had been drawn on by 1st grader armed with a Crayola. I looked like street walker. Worse - I was in a department store with people everywhere and I looked like a street walker.

At this point, I should have said something like, "That looks awful. Take it off." But instead I said, "Yeah. They look fuller," which was more than true, but I could have saved many more unassuming women from looking like street walkers in the middle of the mall. Instead, I bought a $15 eyeliner that I didn't need (though not intended to be used to draw on my eyebrows). I am a prime example of what we call a sucker.