A New Beginning.

I had a dream last night. I was walking down some stairs holding a very large black television. It was letterbox and was being carried by 3 people (myself included). My brother Ryan was on the other end with one of his friends. So the 3 of us carried this down a flight of stairs and didn't really say much. It wasn't heavy or anything being distributed across three guys, but we all were pretty concentrated. Well at least I was. Suddenly at the bottom of the stairs my brother's friend dropped his end of the TV and smacked Ryan in the face! This caused a chain reaction of him dropping his end, punching this guy right in the mug, and leaving me high and dry on the 48 (or so I assumed) inch television. Now I have to stop and analyze this for a second: Why would Ryan, my brother decide to drop this very expensive TV. I know you are all crying out "Because he just got hit" but really think about it. If this was his TV he would take it like a man. No this isn't his TV, its mine. And now that I realize that I am about to drop this I am getting really pissed. OK game on. With the full weight of Sony bearing down on me, I give up. I don't just drop it, I throw it down just as I am gonna throw down on these 2 punks! I look over and this kid isn't giving up, he is whooping Ryan's ass something fierce. Ryan's not something to be trifled about but this guy brought his A-game. As I step in the tables turn and we sent him home crying. Then I had to contend with my bro. As I raise my fist, full in anger, Ryan looks me square in the eye and says, "You will not be judged by this world, but rather the actions you take in it." This stopped me dead in my tracks. He had his hand up all-knowingly. And that was it. I awoke.

I have had insomnia for some time now. Nothing can shake it. Even now as I type this I can see the time is 2:30a on Thursday morning. But the night before this I hung out with my buddy and had a few beers. We talked and, of course, I made an ass of myself. When I got home I felt strangely tired and slept through the night. I thought it miraculous myself but then I am but a man.

When I was a kid I was really into the interpretation of dreams. I have always been fascinated with the inner workings of the mind, and especially the sub-conscious. How do you really feel about anything? Anyways I sat in bed after I had awoken and decided to remember this dream; as if it had some importance. I thought about the 3 guys walking down the stairs and what we were carrying. The television was my need for stuff. This is something that I have always wanted. A big giant TV, I mean c'mon you all want that! So that's the thing, the 3 guys, hmm. Well I am me, I feel that's clear. Ryan isn't Ryan, but rather another view of myself. We'll think about that in a minute, and the other kid, I think that is me too. Hmm. OK so now I am carrying my wants for stuff down a staircase. The staircase is how I stay blinded to the real needs in life. I continue to focus on my goals and never stray, because if I do terrible things, like falling down the stairs, could happen.

The kid that dropped the TV was the world. This is the idea that its good and fine to want things. That it's right. My brother is my moral compass. He is the voice of reason in the madness. As they begin to fight I understand that I have a choice. I am the bystander in my life. I can choose to side with the world and beat my brother into submission, or I can join Ryan and remove the outside influences from my life. Remember that I was hopping mad and threw the TV? This is significant and meant that I chose right there what side I was on. This sealed the fate of my worldly-self. My brother is me, as a pastor. It's me as a Godly-man. This is who I secretly long to be anyways.

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2 Responses

Wow. What an amazing insight into what you really want in life. I think it’s interesting that your brother was the representation of the “Godly you”. Especially since he has had the same calling over his life as yours. Those words “You will not be judged by this world, but rather the actions you take in it” gave me chills (the good kind). I think this applies to our current situation with my mom too. God is definatly wanting you to hear those words.

Welcome back Brandon. That was amazing dude.
Wow, I mean what an amazing story to tell.
The analytical, the outlook, the villan, the conflict, the resolve, and the fact that this was all in a dream.
There truly is deep meaning to this.
You have a gift Brandon that is for sure.
Analyzing and appropriatly illustrating for the masses? Who is to say, but this post really touched my heart, Thank You.