Are you tired of having to hope that a small blonde girl with too many psychological issues in stylish yet unaffordable on her student budget clothing will hold back the end of humanity?

Do you want to keep your love ones safe if the slayer dies...again?

Brand new, from the trusted folks at CrapCo., comes a product to ease your mind without easing your wallet.

Presenting the Apocalypse Safety Kit!

A kit filled with just the items needed in a catastrophic emergency.

Just pop open those clips to find:

Duckie-Bunny Plastic Sheeting: Because blocking out dangerous chemicals, demons, and debris with thin plastic sheeting doesn't have to boring. Now featuring blue bunnies and green duckies.

Mutant Praying Mantis Repellant Spray: Because you never know when a bugger will pop up and try to take your head off! Also you'll receive a 1.00 off coupon for Giant Octopus Paralysis Spray: Get the squeeze on them before they get the squeeze on you!

Two packages of Twackies: After a dimension altering event, this is all the food that will remain. Well, other than the roaches, which will be 10 feet tall and wielding fire cannons (and, therefore, likely not edible). Yummy, yummy, yummy...I've got odd spongy cake and cream in my tummy.

One economy sized roll of Super Strength Duct Tape: When a chasm erupts from hell, there really is only one way patch it up. Duct Tape fixes everything!

End of Days Blemish Concealer: Look your best when the world is at its worst.

All of these items are stored in a delightful attache, stylish enough for business wear but rugged enough for casual ensembles and running for your life.

Get yours while supplies last and before the next full moon...because who knows what mystical prophesy will line up with that night.