Chapter 10

Vegemite Kids

Sometimes parents hold back on spiritual training until they think the child is “old enough.” That is a big mistake, and goes contrary to the biblical model.

Sarah and David, 10 and 8—holiday
entertainment with shaving cream.

One of the staples and delicacies of the Australian
diet is a black paste called vegemite. Made from yeast extract
and salt, vegemite is as standard in our diet as peanut butter
is to the average American. Aussies like nothing better than
to have vegemite on toast with breakfast. We call it “savory”;
Americans call it “hideous.” Most Americans, when given
vegemite on toast, can’t move fast enough to gulp down
some water and get rid of what to them tastes horrible. Many
compare it to chewing on bullion cubes; one person claimed
it destroyed his taste buds for six months! Hey, I know the
stuff is salty, but it’s not that bad!

So why do Australians crave vegemite and Americans can’t
stand the taste of it? When I grew up in Australia, mothers
fed vegemite to babies so they would learn to acquire a taste
for this delicacy at a young age. Australians grew up loving
vegemite for the rest of their long and happy lives.

Americans, however, don’t get to taste vegemite until an Australian
suggests they try it—usually as part of an ill-conceived prank. Because
they have never acquired a taste for it, they can’t stand it, and so will have
nothing to do with it for the rest of their short and deprived lives.

What then can we learn from this concerning the spiritual training
of our children? Is there an analogy? With just a little stretch, I believe
there is. Just like children need to acquire a taste for vegemite at an early
age, they need to be exposed to biblical input as well, so that they might
acquire a craving for the things of God, and the sooner they get this input,
the more they will desire the truth throughout their lives.

Sometimes parents hold back on spiritual training until they think
the child is “old enough.” That is a big mistake, and goes contrary to the
biblical model. Think about these words written to Timothy from Paul
in 2 Timothy 3:14–15:

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have
become convinced of, because you know those from whom you
learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy
Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through
faith in Christ Jesus (NIV; emphasis added).

It’s never too soon to begin, and the more Scripture they are exposed
to, the more they will absorb and become accustomed to the Word of God.
As they learn to apply the truth that they are learning, they will develop
the discernment to navigate through the temptations of the world, but this
takes time and faithful feeding by the parents. Only as they mature will
they be able to influence others in the same way. Consider this thought
from Hebrews 5:14:

But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have
trained themselves to distinguish good from evil (NIV).

When babies are born, they don’t know about the Word of God. They
don’t know about Jesus dying on the Cross. They don’t know what it means
that God created in six days, and about marriage or any other Christian
doctrine. When our first child, Nathan, was born, he didn’t look up at
me and say, “Hi, Dad! What are your views on eschatology and soteriology?”
Without solid and continual feeding from the Word, all he would
have would be the witness of a fallen creation (see Rom. 1:19–20), and
an unrefined conscience alerting him to basic right and wrong (see Rom. 2:14–15).
Our job as parents was to train him in that which is truth, so
he could distinguish good from evil (Heb. 5:14), and not be tossed to and
fro by every wind of doctrine.

Right from the time children are born, they need to be
taught how to act and think as a Christian should.

This means applying discipline in accord with biblical standards, having
regular devotions and teaching times, practically applying Christian
thinking in every area, making it clear that God’s Word is central to the
home, and protecting children from bad influences that they are not
ready to handle. That’s a given. We need “vegemite kids” of faith, who
will eventually long for the real meat of truth, and then become salt and
light to the world.

The Great Education Debate

What about when it’s time to begin formal education? We know
that parents have full control and complete responsibility for training
their small children, but what about after that? What is a concerned and
engaged Christian parent to do when it’s time for school? Most families
have three options: 1) public education, 2) private Christian schools, or
3) home schooling.

It is my contention that while children are still maturing, godly
training cannot happen in a secular education system or a compromising
Christian one. Personally, for our children, we chose a combination
of home schooling and Christian schooling, with our last three children
having been totally home schooled.

It is my firm conviction that in the majority of situations, home
schooling is the better option, followed by carefully monitored Christian
schools, followed by a secular public education. Mixed options may
be available as well, as there are many Christian schools that provide
infrastructure for home schoolers to attend part time. I know that there
are exceptions to every rule, but they are just that, exceptions. I also
know that circumstances may make the better choices impossible, but
in general, according to the true ability and resources of the parents, I
believe this order is best.

Home schooling has a long history in society and has existed to a
greater or lesser degree in most cultures. In the last few decades, more
and more families are choosing this option for their children. As the
movement has grown, so have the support structures, materials, and
curricula that are available. In most cities, parents can network together
with other parents of like mind and values, sharing resources, expertise,
and experiences—all of which can help keep costs down and improve
the quality of the child’s education. In the resource section of this chapter,
we’ve included many sources of information regarding the option of
home-based education.

Private Christian education is also an option. Solid, biblically based
schools exist in many communities. The cost is sometimes prohibitive,
and as we’ve warned earlier, just because they are labeled “Christian”
doesn’t mean that the faculty or the curriculum upholds the authority
of God’s Word to the highest standard, nor does it mean that your
child won’t be rubbing shoulders with students who will be a negative
influence.

When it comes to public education, which is based in secular humanist
philosophies, the Christian parent would be wise to heed the words of
the great reformer, Martin Luther:

I would advise no one to send his child where the Holy Scriptures
are not supreme. Every institution that does not unceasingly
pursue the study of God’s Word becomes corrupt. Because of this
we can see what kind of people they become in the universities
and what they are like now. Nobody is to blame for this except
the pope, the bishops, and the prelates, who are all charged with
training young people. The universities only ought to turn out
men who are experts in the Holy Scriptures, men who can become
bishops and priests, and stand in the front line against heretics,
the devil, and all the world. But where do you find that? I greatly
fear that the universities, unless they teach the Holy Scriptures
diligently and impress them on the young students, are wide
gates to hell.1

Some feel that the influences of a pagan education can be offset by
being part of a strong church, but this isn’t enough. It is a known fact that
with each passing generation, greater percentages of teenagers brought up
in the church abandon Christianity. Over 90 percent of students from
church homes in the United States attend secular schools.2 Barna research
reported that 70 percent of these students plan on leaving the church after
they finish school.3 Those statistics should wake up any parent who desires
to raise godly children in this ungodly world.

Both Steve and I attended public schools and a secular university.
Looking back at it all, I realize that the only reason we survived the
system was because of the phenomenally unique convictions of my
parents, the circumstances our family went through, and the times we
lived in—and of course the Sovereign God who was in control of all
situations.

If a parent must choose a public education for their children, they
must be all the more diligent to train their children to gain the maturity
to discern right from wrong. The parents have to be even more careful
monitoring materials and teacher attitudes. Perhaps most importantly, the
Christian student must have a mentality that reflects the reality that they
are going into enemy territory when they go to school. Secular humanism
dominates, peer pressure is intense, and “compromise” isn’t even an issue—the system is now blatantly anti-God and indoctrinated by Darwinian
thinking that by and large won’t even allow the things of God, or even
the possibility of a Creator, to be mentioned. The system is not their friend,
and they must be aware and ready to defend themselves.

Forming a support group with other committed Christian students can
help immeasurably with this. In the United States, because of the “Equal
Access Amendment,” students can now legally form on-campus Bible
Clubs, prayer groups, and do limited group outreach. The restrictions on
these groups can be significant, but it can be done. We’ve included more
resources and information on the rights of Christian students in secular
schools in the resource list.

Mature Christian teachers can also be missionaries in the pagan public
system . . . and they need our prayers because it is becoming more difficult
to be light and salt in such situations. Adults ministering in this system are
very different than immature students being trained by the system. Until
a student has the maturity to discern right and wrong, the strength to
stand up to peer pressure, and the determination to confront compromise,
public schools are a very dangerous place to be.

Keeping in mind that there could be restrictive legal issues in some
countries, I stand by my recommendation that—as long as the parent
has the ability and resources to do so—home-based education and carefully
selected private Christian schools are the best options for educating
vegemite kids—those who acquire and desire the things of God.

Oppositional Arguments

It may surprise you that the main opposition we get for the educational
choices we chose for our children (Christian school/home school) doesn’t
usually come from non-Christians, but from Christians!

The Salt Argument

Often, the criticism we get sounds something like this: “Your kids
should be in the public school to witness to the other kids; you need to
throw your children out into the world so they will learn to survive; they
need to be mixing with non-Christian kids so they can be an example to
them,” and many other similar arguments.

When asked for biblical references for such a position, I often get
an answer that goes something like this: “The Bible says we are to be the
salt of the earth. Our children therefore need to be in the public schools
so they can be salt and light to the other students.” Now, it is true that
Matthew 5:13 says, “You are the salt of the earth,” but let’s look at this
passage in full context:

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness,
how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for
anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men (NIV;
emphasis added).

Mark 9:50 states something else about salt that is very important and
must be taken into consideration:

Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it
salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each
other (NIV; emphasis added).

The point is this:

A person can’t be the salt of the earth until they
have salt, and it needs to be uncontaminated
salt that retains its saltiness.

Let’s face it: Children are being contaminated as a result of their
secular education, television, the books they read, and their friends. In a
world of no absolutes, evolution, sex outside marriage, humanism, and
false religions—children will be tossed to and fro. How do they know
which way to go? How do they know what to choose? They don’t, unless
they’ve been trained in truth and can recognize the difference between
good and evil in the world . . . and as I’ve already said, I feel very strongly
that this training is best done in the sanctifying environment of a home-based
education.

Because so many children from church homes have been trained by
the government education system (which has become more and more
anti-Christian over the years—to the point of eliminating Christianity
totally), and because most fathers haven’t really trained their children
with a biblical foundation as they should, there are now generations of
adults who attend church, but are so contaminated by the world that
they think like the world. They lack salt, and the salt they have has lost
its saltiness by contamination. These people then contaminate those
around them and their own children. These children are often given no
salt at all, or the little they have becomes even more contaminated than
the parents’ salt.

I believe that in many instances (not all, of course), what people call
“teenage rebellious years” is due to a lack of being trained to acquire a
taste for the things of the Lord in the early years. Once children become
teenagers (and we all know that there are hormonal changes and certain
behavior patterns related to puberty and adolescence), it is very difficult
to change their behavior.

Contamination comes in many forms, but perhaps the saddest aspect
is that much of institutional Christianity has compromised the Word of
God, particularly concerning the doctrine of creation. Genesis (especially
the first 11 chapters) is foundational to all Christian doctrine. Let me state
my warning again: If generations are trained to disbelieve the Book of
Genesis as literal history, and to embrace man’s fallible ideas concerning
evolution and an earth that is millions of years old, they are put on a slippery
slide of unbelief through the rest of the Bible. If the Bible’s history is
not accurate, then why should the Bible’s morality be accepted? After all,
the morality is based in the history.

The literal understanding of the events in the Book of Genesis is necessary
to an understanding of what Christian doctrine is all about. Sadly,
some children from Christian homes are being contaminated by what are
called “Christian” schools. More and more schools are being established
on secular humanism and a secular curriculum, to which God is added,
but you can’t Christianize a secular philosophy! You can’t have both!

If you are going to opt for a private Christian education for your kids,
don’t assume anything when it comes to the content of the courses or the
convictions of the faculty. Don’t assume that the students there are going
to be a positive influence on your children. Do your research on the
school; monitor everything carefully, and never shirk your responsibility
to be the one who trains your kid.

No matter what education you choose, know that you must be pouring
the “salt” into your children—and this salt should be as uncontaminated
as possible. Children need to be taught to acquire a taste for biblical teaching
as early and as repeatedly as possible.

This process is most assured in a home-based education where the
parents can take hour-by-hour responsibility for the task. A private
Christian education can also be a good option, as long as a parent doesn’t
forget their responsibility to monitor the environment and content of
the education.

Yes, we are all called to be “salt” to the world. Our children are to be
this as well, but they must first be filled with pure salt from God’s Word
— leading to spiritual maturity and stability, so that they can be missionaries
to the world without being contaminated themselves and made
useless for the gospel.

Good Kids

Some Christian parents justify their choice of public education by
saying, “Yeah, but I’ve got good kids.” Many child psychologists teach
that children are basically “good” too, but the Bible teaches otherwise.
Psalm 51:5 states, “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my
mother conceived me” (NIV). Scripture tells us that children are a precious
“heritage of the Lord” (Ps. 127:3 (NIV)), and that they are a great
blessing in a Christian home. Nevertheless, children, like adults, must be
viewed first of all as sinful creatures, “For all have sinned and fall short of
the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23).

I remember visiting the hospital in Australia where my sister had just
had a baby. I looked at this beautiful infant and said, “What a beautiful
looking sinful creature you have there!” (I was thinking of Jeremiah 17:9
that says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked:
who can know it?”) I was nearly thrown out of the hospital, as you might
imagine, but when they took this baby home, it didn’t take the parents
long to find out I was right!

Because of the sin nature inherent in all mankind,
and the natural desires of our flesh to do evil,
none of us should ever think that we are
“good” enough to be able to resist temptation.

When placed in a compromising situation, we are more likely to be
influenced by the bad than by the good. It’s a challenge to get children
to do what is right, but it is easy to let children do that which is wrong—just leave them to themselves, and they will express their true sinful
tendencies.

Maturity comes with training, discipline, renewing the mind according
to Scripture, and learning to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit rather
than in the power of the flesh. That doesn’t come naturally! It comes with
maturity, and maturity takes time. Children are not miniature adults.
They are unable to discriminate between good and evil. They don’t have
the discipline to choose between the truth and the cleverly crafted evolutionary
philosophies.

Ephesians 4:14 states:

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the
waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and
by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming (NIV).

Paul also says in 1 Corinthians 13:11:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways
behind me (NIV).

The Bible makes it clear that children are easily led astray, easily tossed
to and fro, easily deceived, and so on. Because of the sin nature and the
flesh, a child in a pagan environment is likely to lose saltiness faster that
gaining it, even if the parent is trying hard to fill the child with uncontaminated
salt at home. (Consider how much time your children spend
being trained in the pagan secular system compared to how much time
they receive authoritative biblical input!)

When the child becomes a man or woman, exhibiting spiritual discernment
and biblical maturity, then they can maintain their salt and be salt
and light to the world. Let’s face it, when we as adults are given choices,
our sinful tendencies draw us in the wrong direction. Would you rather
read the Bible or a secular magazine? Are you more inclined to spend
time praying or watching television? Would you rather go to a missions
program at church or a football game at the stadium? If you have some
extra money, would you prefer to buy Christian books or a new piece of
furniture or new car?

I’m sure we all get the point. It’s not that we shouldn’t read magazines
or buy a new car, but we need to consider our priorities according to what
the Bible says is important, and children who still have much maturing
in the Christian faith are very unlikely to do this.

So, in a sense, what I’m saying is that the salt is more likely to pour
out of the children rather than to be retained by them. One night, when
our firstborn was in upper elementary school, he came and said, “Dad,
someone at the Christian school told a dirty joke today and I can’t get it
out of my mind.” Yes, contamination sticks with us—it is hard to get
rid of because our flesh and fallen nature attract it. If we’ve allowed a lot
of contamination to fill up these “vessels,” it is going to be very hard to
“decontaminate” them. That’s why parents need to work so hard to avoid
as much contamination as possible, and that’s why dads and moms have
to work with much prayer, patience, and perseverance to ensure as much
salt as possible stays in the “vessel.” There also needs to be much remedial
work that reminds children over and over again of biblical truths that continually
instill in them a Christian worldview (and the more that happens,
the more the culture as a whole will be influenced for good). These things
are very difficult to do when the child is spending all day in an anti-God,
Bible-denying, secular humanist enforcing environment.

Because of the fallen world we live in and the desires of our flesh and
sinful nature, it is impossible to avoid all contamination. There are no
perfect parents on this earth. We need to be aware of this and do our best
to limit the contamination as best we are able, because our kids, as much
as we might love them and adore them, are not “good.”

Legalistic Concerns

Others object to my education recommendations by saying, “Wait a
minute! Don’t home schooling and Christian schools force Christianity
down their throats?” Sadly, I have had people tell me from time to time
that their parents harshly imposed Christianity on them, causing them to
reject it. “I’m not going to force religion on my kids,” they assert.

In every instance where I’ve talked to people who have been hurt
like that, Christianity was imposed legalistically from the “top down,”
through pressure (and sometimes power trips) where the parent tried to
make themselves the ultimate authority, rather than the Bible. When
parents humbly start with the Word of God and build “from the foundation
up,” starting with the logical foundations of all the doctrine in
Genesis, not trying to prove the Bible with science, but using the Bible
to understand science, and teaching children how to defend the faith by
giving them answers to skeptical questions of the age—then it makes a
world of difference.

Christianity then is presented as a logical and defensible faith that
makes sense of the world and is confirmed by real observational science,
instead of what seems to be just a collection of opinions.

This is how we need to teach our children—
from the time they are born until the time of our death.

Parents are to train children in the truth of Scripture, giving no options.
For a Christian, it is not that truth is the best policy (as if it were
one of several acceptable alternatives), truth is the only policy. Children
who are merely taught can hear other teaching and easily depart from
the truth because of their sinful flesh and their bias against God as expressed
in their fallen nature. Thus, to cause children to be influenced
for good, much work must be done. We must diligently train them in
truth, condemning error for what it is. In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians,
he brings up another element that reduces the risk of legalism. Consider
verse 4:15:

But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects
into Him, who is the head, even Christ.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4–7, Paul describes this “love” in detail:

Love is patient, love is kind . . . is not arrogant, does not act
unbecomingly . . . is not provoked . . . bears all things, believes
all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I would propose to anyone who has legalistic concerns about home
schooling, that when the truth is taught in an environment of this kind
of love, kids will never feel like Christianity is being forced upon them. In
fact, I believe the home is the best environment for children to experience
this kind of love from the parent, even as they learn to fulfill the greatest
commandment in all of Scripture, Deuteronomy 6:5–7:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with
all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am
commanding you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach
them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit
in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie
down and when you rise up.

Even when home schooling or a private Christian education seem like
the best options, however, circumstances can make it impossible. Allocating
the time and finances for home schooling can be difficult for single-parent
families. Many families depend on a dual income, and still don’t
have enough for tuition at a private Christian school. In other situations,
there might be disagreement between parents when either the father or
mother is not a Christian. It’s also possible that a solid Christian school
doesn’t exist in your area, or maybe you live in a country like Australia
where home schooling resources are very, very limited (or you live in a
country where home schooling is illegal). These are all serious struggles,
and reflect the fact that we certainly live in a fallen world where difficulty
is a part of life.

If you are one of the people in this category, the fundamentals still
apply. You may have to work harder than others and you may have to
access more help, but you have the same responsibility to provide foundational
scriptural instruction to your children. You have the responsibility
to belong to a strong Bible-believing and teaching church, and you have
the responsibility to manage the circles of influence that your children are
exposed to. If you have no option but for your children to be educated
in the secular system, then you must acknowledge that the responsibility
of the position you hold has just been magnified, and therefore checking
homework and monitoring your children’s friendships will be of the
utmost importance.

Always remember that it is your responsibility,
within your means, to see that your child is trained and
educated according to biblical principles.

God is a gracious God and forgives, but the consequences of your
actions will still be part of the legacy you leave . . . and you only have one
opportunity to leave it, so you better be sure you’re doing it as you should.
If God’s people do not produce godly offspring, then the application of the
truth of God’s Word will be severely and negatively impacted for generations
to come or to the world around. Who then will be our evangelists,
pastors, missionaries, Christian teachers, and Sunday school teachers?

Key thoughts from this chapter:

We cannot expect our children to be salt and light until they first
become salt and light. It is too easy to lose saltiness in an unsalty
environment.

It is impossible to train children under a worldly system and then
add God to it. You cannot Christianize a secular philosophy.

Our children are not “good.” They have sinful natures and fleshly
tendencies that make them highly vulnerable to temptation and
compromise.

Building a defensible biblical foundation for our children allows
them to develop a defensible faith. When done in love, this is
completely different from forcing Christianity on them from the
top down.

Building blocks:

The educational choices you make have great impact on the sanctification
of your child. Make these choices wisely, according to
biblical principles, and even at great personal sacrifice.

Always monitor the content of what your child is being taught,
even in a Christian school or in home school curricula.

Never give up your responsibility to be the primary trainer of truth
for your children.

Strive to always communicate the truth in love as described in 1 Corinthians (13).

Questions to consider:

In your community and church, what factors influence parents’
educational choices for their children? Do you think these are
valid? Why or why not?

Read carefully John 17:14–19. How can the principles in this
passage, as well as the other passages presented in this chapter, be
applied to your decisions about your children’s education?

Consider three circumstances in which your child is exposed to
secular humanism, peer pressure, or compromise. Is your child
mature enough to defend himself or herself?

Books:

Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World

Christian families are struggling in a culture hostile to Christian values, and increasingly find themselves searching for answers and strategies to be more effective. Parents also face a disturbing trend of young people leaving home and leaving the Church and want to insure their children have a strong foundation of biblical faith and understanding. Discover how to create an incredible faith legacy in your family!