Lawyer Venkatesan Suprabatham was found dead in his house today. He was found with a letter in his hand at the time of death which read “Endhiran’s tickets are over-priced.” The police are yet to ascertain the cryptic nature of the note.

Suprabatham was a man of no small stature. He specialized in the art of Suing. He has in the past unsuccessfully tried to sue the Indian TV news channels for sensationalizing news (Judge verdict: Change the channel.), the Tamil Nadu History Textbooks Association for failing to include information pertaining to Kumari Kandam, Hey Ram for being pro-Hindu and Hey Ram for being pro-Muslim. He did in the end manage to successfully sue this blog for defaming him without any basis.

But what he did stumble upon before his death was beyond his grasp. This is his story.

(Suprabatham meets Mr. X in the crowded Ranganthan street)

X: Welcome Mr. Suprabatham. I assume you got my note.

Suprabatham: Yes sir. Look if this about reading what was written in that girls’ shirt in Sun Music I merely….

X: No Mr. Suprabatham, I fear this is far more serious. I hear you’ve been snooping around asking some unwanted questions.

S: Ya, I asked the guy at the theater counter why the tickets are so costly. It’s almost 2.5 times the normal rate.He wouldn’t give me a proper answer.

X: All I can say is that you’re close, really close. I’m not going to be naming names but suffice it to say that what I am about to tell you is very important indeed.

(S takes out his notebook and starts writing down.)

X: I come from a special division in the government Mr.Garris Mr. Suprabatham. We work with some hidden aspects of the state, what some of you may have read about as Black Ops. We deal in covert warfare and propaganda to ensure the well being of the state.

S: I don’t understand. So you do what?

X: When the helmets were made compulsory a few years back, that was us. We also handled the subsequent payout from the helmet manufacturers?

S: To whom?

X: Anyways, we were the reason that A R Rahman’s Semmozhi song was better than his CWG song.

S: I knew something was wrong there!

X: We oversaw the arrival of the Colour TVs, made sure Makkal TV was blisfully ignored and ensured that people could mock T Rajendar without seeing any of his movies. We were good. But then Enthiran happened. Not so good.

S: What’s wrong with that? It’s India’s biggest movie and by the looks of it running pretty successfully.

X: Let’s go back to around 2008. People were wising up with the beginning of recession. The already pragmatic paranoid Indian grew doubly cautious. Common sense prevailed. Common sense has a lot of enemies Mr. Suprabatham. You should ask the people at Apple. The phrase is banned there.

S: 2008? Wasn’t that the year the world wanted change?

X: (Sigh) Mr. Suprabatham, though I appreciate your knowledge of American politics or unrelated pop culture references I assure you it has nothing whatsover to do what with I am telling you right now.

S: Sorry very much. Please carry on.

X: There were a lot of angry CEOs and business men. They wanted to pull the ultimate coup and regain the sense of shit which usually prevails. They were investigating various ideas when I got a phone call one day early December, 2008 :-

“We’re going. Mostly down south. We have the plan ready. We need you take care of the logistics.”

And so it began Mr. Suprabatham, in the wind, the plot to kill common sense itself.

S: Look I don’t know what you are talking about. But there is no conspiracy behind Enthiran. People would’ve found out if it were true.

X: Aah Mr. Suprabatham therein lies the genius of it. Please sit down and order some tea and I shall you tell a story. A story that explains the greatest cover-up in Indian history.

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