Much like saltwater in the eyes, rejection stings. And — it can often bring saltwater to our eyes in the form of tears. Did you know research shows rejection triggers the same pathways in our brains as physical pain? Rejection can make you feel unloved, unwanted or not valued in some way — especially in social situations. And it can be really fucking painful. I’d rather stub my toe on the bed frame than deal with personal rejection.

Over the past few weeks I’ve faced a few personal rejections I allowed to get under my skin a bit. Each hurt more than I would have expected. They were tiny, painful paper cuts to my ego and left me questioning my worth in some areas. Worse than being rejected once is feeling the bite of rejection a few times over in a short period of time. I’m pretty resilient, but no one is immune to its pernicious effects.

I know you know what I’m talking about. You’ve undoubtedly faced denial of some sort and will encounter it again in your life. It is truly a part of the human experience. Many people allow that sting to prevent them from going out on a limb again.

A HUGE portion of the pain we experience after a rejection is self-inflicted. We pick and poke at that wound until it festers and becomes infected. Right when we are at our most vulnerable, we make things worse. We must remind ourselves we are worthy and work to eliminate negative self talk.

Let’s agree to take a radical approach when it comes to facing those moments in our lives we are denied something we thought we truly wanted. Instead of beating ourselves up, let’s accept it.

Yes, that’s what I said — accept rejection.

Instead of picking at that gaping wound created by whatever the circumstance, let’s accept the fact that _____fill-in-the-blank____ isn’t going to happen — at least not right now or not in the way we anticipated.

Instead of talking down to yourself, develop a zero tolerance policy on negative self- talk. Shift your mindset — our personal traits are malleable and we each have complete control over that.

Know — without reservation — you have value.

Know — without question — there are people who love you.

Know — without doubt — there is the right job for you.

Know — without faltering — you have greatness in you.

If you can’t do it for yourself, call on your friends. Be open & be vulnerable.

Sounds crazy, huh? I’m asking you to be vulnerable right after you’ve gotten kicked in the teeth?