Comedian Daniel Tosh Getting 'Completely Serious' - page 3

What may be most surprising about Tosh is that he claims to have never been in a fight in his life.

"It [even] surprises me," Tosh says. "I'm very insulting to people. I've never been socked in the face!"

People seem to avoid confronting Tosh after a show, and so he continues to skate through his career unharmed, while offending pretty much everyone possible.

"Ah, you know, people are a little more confident with emails," Tosh says. "[I] just have to look at it like, 'Oh, you're stupid. I don't have to explain to you that the only reason you're offended is because one of my offensive jokes hit close to home, and you can relate to it personally, so that's the one you're offended by. All the other horrible, offensive stuff that I said that doesn't relate to you, you have no problem with.'"

"I just kinda laugh it off," Tosh continues, "and say, 'Oh, well I'm sorry, and I will never do that joke again,' and pray that they see me at my next show, opening with that joke."

With this type of attitude, one would think Tosh was the class clown in high school. He claims he wasn't a clown, but merely "comical."

"I was the guy who could say mean things," Tosh says. "I was putting people down, to build myself up. And there's nothing positive that comes out of that, except for a consistent six-figure-a-year living."

He wasn't a bully, however. He claims to have been the opposite of a bully: The guy who hates the bully, and shuts them down with words.

"Physically, I've always been completely weak," Tosh says. "Mentally, not as much. I knew bullies, and I didn't like the feeling that they gave me. Any time I can verbally embarrass them, that's my goal. I'm definitely owed a good shiner."

Tosh urges aspiring comedians to go find a local comedy night and perform original material as much as possible.

"Don't do what I did, which was go to college and waste a ton of time and money," Tosh says. "[College] served its purpose, which was parental obligations to fulfill. My parents were like, 'You graduated college, so at least now we feel like we did our job…so when we tell people you do dick jokes for a living, we can say you did graduate college!'"

This full-time comedian remains optimistic for the future, despite his obviously cynical nature.

"I feel 2007 is the year of Daniel Tosh, people," he says. "It's gonna be huge!"