Pride is instilled. It's what we carry with us every day of our lives.

When It Comes To Relationships How Ready Are You??

Everyone wants to be in a relationship. There’s something about being with someone that makes us feel complete. Maybe it’s knowing that you can count on that person whenever you need them or maybe its feeling loved and appreciated by your significant other. Whatever it is, the bottom line is that everyone wants to be loved. After all, feeling loved and wanted is a basic human need, at least according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Everyone needs to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, they need to love and be loved (sexually and non-sexually) by others. This is why most of us spend our lives searching for “the one”. We go in and out of relationships in search for that person who will love us and allow us to love them. Some people are lucky and find that person rather quickly, but others aren’t as lucky. For the latter group, it may take years to find that person. When it comes to love and relationships, one thing is certain; no one wants to end up alone.

I don’t know what it’s like to be single. I’ve been with my husband most of my adult life. I met him when I was 20 and we’ve been together since. I guess you can say that we’ve grown together. We both lived at home with our parents when we first met. We were both still in college, and really had no idea what the future had in store for us other than we knew we wanted to be together.

Fast forward 12 years later, we’re now married, college graduates, and own our own home. Life for the most part is pretty good. The only thing we’re missing is a little one to make our family complete but when God feels the time is right I’m sure he’ll bless us.

Like I said in the beginning of this post, everyone wants to be in a relationship. If I’ve learned anything in the past 12 years is that relationships are hard work. However, most people aren’t willing to put in the work; which is why the divorce rate nowadays is so high.

Whether romantic, familial, or a friendship, each relationship requires a level of commitment, honesty, trust, and communication in order to work. Creating relationships isn’t the hard part. The hard part is sustaining them. Sustainability isn’t about a quick fix or a cheap solution. Generally, it means making a commitment & trying, as best we can, to honor it.

Commitment is essential in the sense that each individual has to put forth the same amount of effort and time into nurturing the relationship. It also means not giving up once you hit a bump in the road.

Overcoming the hurdles and adversities in a relationship helps to solidify the bond that is being formed. In any worthwhile situation we will encounter difficulties and throwing in the towel at the 1st sign of trouble may be the easy thing to do, but it doesn’t help our self-concept. Most of life’s troubles can be overcome if we are willing to work thru them. However, not many of us are willing to do this.

Honesty is something that most people overlook. Honesty isn’t only about trust because although it is important to always be truthful with your significant other honesty is also about being honest in whom you are as a person. Don’t try and hide facets of your personality or characteristics because you’re unsure how the other person will react to them. Be who you are at all times so that the person you are with loves you for who you are and not for some contrived persona you have created. You have to accept each other as is.

Communication is key in any relationship, even in business. One misunderstanding and you can blow the deal. The same goes for romantic relationships. If you don’t communicate with your partner then they can never know what your needs are. Sometimes communicating is hard but like with anything else the more you do it the easier it becomes.

I have to say that for my husband and me it hasn’t always been easy for us to keep a balance of all of those elements but we do try. And while there are times that we may fall short in some areas when it’s all said and done we love each other. It’s because of this that we continue to work at making our marriage, relationship, and friendship work. When it comes to relationships you never get a day off so if you want yours to work you have to wake up everyday ready to go to work.♥

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2016 Voices of the Year Honoree

Nancy Arroyo Ruffin

About Me:

Nancy Arroyo Ruffin is a writer, mama, wife, and motivational speaker. Her work has been cited and published in various online magazines and literary journals such as Duende Literary Journal, Poets & Writers, For Harriet, Elephant Journal, CentroVOICES, Moms Magazine, MUTHA Magazine, The Manifest-Station, among others. She is 2016 Voices of The Year Award honoree and a 2014 International Latino Book Award recipient for her sophomore poetry collection, Letters To My Daughter.