She said her weeklong trip to South Africa and Botswana is proof of the president's commitment to Africa.

"This trip is a reflection, a direct reflection, of his support and his interest and his view of the importance of Africa to the world and to the future of the world," she said. "That's why I'm here."

Usually amongst our most reliably supportive press, could it be that Ms.NBC didn’t realize how this statement could be misconstrued to imply that Big Guy was a little…uh, detatched? And Lady M a little…uh, egotistical? Sort of like saying “Big Guy is too important and too busy to come himself, butt look! He sent ME! His only begotten wife!”

I’m sure they didn’t mean it that way. Because, as I mentioned, they’re usually amongst our most reliable suck upshouse organs news outlets. And we really, really depend on our reliable media:

I know it’s been a busy week for many of us. So in case you haven’t been able to keep up, here’s a brief recap, in pictures, of Lady M working her butt across the Dark Continent:

Working the Soweto Vhuthilo Community Center in our black peplum and bob:

Oh, and don’t worry about the disappearance of the Reverend Sharpton-esque wighat bob, which was replaced with a more natural hair weave:

Lady M gave the bob to this young lady, who was – as you can see – very moved by Lady M’s generosity.

Spew Alert!

And finally, if you, like the trolls at Fox News, think that we don’t care about protocol, take a gander at this. Ann Barnhardt featured our motivational/training poster of Lady M demonstrating proper protocol for greeting Big Guy:

Friday, June 24, 2011

I wonder if Big Guy and Joey B have swapped roles for awhile? You know - job rotation for developmental purposes. Just in case.

While Joey B was busy screwing up the budget negotiations, Big Guy was sticking his foot down his throat. At least this horrible gaffe

explains another horrible gaffe, that still has people scratching their heads, years later. Which is: “what on earth was Lady M thinking?” when she chose this dress?

For the posthumous Medal of Honor ceremony for SFC Jared Monti back in September of 2009? Apparently, she had simply been misinformed by some incompetent staff.

You might like to know that back then Big Guy and TOTUS had this to say about the very brave SFC Monti:

They say it was a rocket-propelled grenade; that Jared made it within a few yards of his wounded soldier. They say that his final words, there on that ridge far from home, were of his faith and his family: “I’ve made peace with God. Tell my family that I love them.”

And then, as the artillery that Jared had called in came down, the enemy fire slowed, then stopped. The patrol had defeated the attack. They had held on — but not without a price. By the end of the night, Jared and three others, including the soldier he died trying to save, had given their lives.

Wow! How does that slip your mind? Maybe I better go back and re-read Robin of Berkeley’s column, “A Shrink Asks, What’s Wrong With Obama” (H/T Jayne). Minimally, I think we need to get a little more sleep around Big White. Also, we need to follow rule #1: never open our mouth without TOTUS.

My regular update from Africa may be delayed until afternoon, due to sunspots, or something.

Meanwhile, back on the Big Continent of our ancestral home: We were all smiles yesterday.

Butt today we visited the infamous “District Six” in Capetown, described thusly in the press pack:

“Founded in 1867 as a mixed community of freed slaves, merchants, and immigrants, the apartheid government in 1965 declared it "white" and forcibly removed 60,000 residents and bulldozed their homes.”

And as you can see, the whole group was looking reflexively somber;

Oh, and remember that tuxedo vest top that everyone loved from the other day?

It was from the ASOS Africa collection that is "our dedicated ethical collection, now in its third season and produced in Kenya by 25 local craftspeople to help empower the community, so it feels very appropriate to have the First Lady wearing it whilst doing valuable humanitarian work in South Africa."

"As a British fashion brand, with global online reach, we are thrilled at ASOS to have Michelle Obama - someone who continues to be a great ambassador for fashion - flying our flag abroad,"

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Obama appeared visibly moved when the audience stood and sang an impromptu serenade as she approached the podium. Placing her hands over her heart, she thanked the crowd and seemed to choke back tears.

Indeed. She had just received the report that only 3 out of 10 voters back home plan to vote for Big Guy in 2012. Who wouldn’t be chocked up? Butt she soldiered on.

Dianah Mukundwa from Rwanda said of Obama: "She was so inspiring. I expected her to be like a first lady and be about protocol, but she wasn't.

Boy, I’ll say.

She's a rich girl She don't try to hide it Diamonds on the soles of her shoes

Lady M and Nelson Mandela: not much protocol here

Lady M covered a lot of territory in one day:

Late yesterday, Obama visited a daycare centre in Zandspruit, an informal settlement north of Johannesburg, before visiting the Apartheid Museum in Ormonde, southern Johannesburg, where she met young women from all over the continent who were hosted by the Young African Women Leaders Forum in Pretoria.

Obama told the women that she wanted her daughters to be like them.

And she said honey take me dancing But they ended up by sleeping In a doorway By the bodegas and the lights on Upper Broadway Wearing diamonds on the soles of their shoes

OK! Everybody: Let’s Dougie!

That’s some evil eye you’ve got going there honey. Do you do voo doo, too?

No Ma'am, but I can put people in a trance

With her back to the cameras and journalists, she told them: "This is just the beginning. This is the start of a conversation with women from all over the globe.

"I'm so proud of you all. This is the culmination of everything that I could imagine. I'm humbled. I just wanna hug you all."

"We asked her how [Barack] Obama felt about her being away, and she told us that he knew she was a strong woman."

Butt not as strong as Gramma

"I'm so proud of you all. This is the culmination of everything that I could imagine. I'm humbled. I just wanna hug you all."

And I could say oo oo oo As if everybody here would know What I was talking about I mean everybody here would know exactly What I was talking about Talking about diamonds

Obama also briefly spoke to the group about fitness and the importance of getting enough sleep.

So you’ll grow big and tall like me!

Meanwhile, rumors circulated that Lady M was dissed by President Jacob Zuma, who was still apparently miffed over Big Guy’s KMA in Libya. Butt I tell you what: if they’re going to go all Roman on us over such a little thing, we may just have to colonialize them all over again.

President Zuma, and Sister Wife # 2 performing traditional dance. with diamonds on the sole of their shoes.

People say I'm crazy I got diamonds on the soles of my shoes Well that's one way to lose These walking blues Diamonds on the soles of your shoes

Those African Marxist leaders are such hypocrites. And about the diamonds on the soles of their shoes? They’re blood diamonds.

In related news: Big Guy is still working his fingers to the bone on his abacus to figure how many troops he should withdraw tonight for maximum political impact. After the “3 out of 10” poll, I’m going to predict we’re going to pull out completely sometime before the next election. Of Afghanistan, silly. Weiner already resigned.

He's a poor boy Empty as a pocket Empty as a pocket with nothing to lose Sing ta na na Ta na na na She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes Diamonds on the soles of her shoes Diamonds on the soles of her shoes

Malia Ann clearly has a sharp fashion sense too - she stepped off the plane a little after 9pm in skinny jeans, pumps and a lovely blazer, before she and Sasha were adorned in throws emblazoned with the South African flag to help stave off the cold.

The ultimate illustration of the difference between cool jeans and “granny/mom jeans”

Because who would know that June is the beginning of winter in the southern hemisphere? Surely not anyone in the Big White Trip and Party Planning Department; they’ve got bigger fish to fry.

Obama is scheduled to meet President Jacob Zuma's wife Nompumelelo Ntuli-Zuma in Pretoria today, before she heads for Johannesburg to visit the Nelson Mandela Foundation, where she will be shown around by Graca Machel, wife of Nelson Mandela.

Nompumelelo Ntuli-Zuma (I believe she was named after the fruit, citrus maximus) is one of President Zuma’s three sister-wives. I don’t know if they rotate FLOSA duties or not, butt either way she’s First Sister Lady this week. Nom’s reign as First Lady hasn’t been without controversy, butt she seems to have weathered the storm. President Zuma has had his own controversies, butt so far he’s beaten the rap for rape, racketeering and fraud. Clearly this guy knows what time it is.

Zuma and his three current wives (there have been 5 in all); that’s Nom, far left, dressed for success.

And here are Zuma and Nom with the Wons at the 2009 G-20 .

Wow! three sister wives? I don’t think Lady M would approve, and there’s no way my battery pack would be able to withstand it.

Next, we went to meet with Graca Machel, third wife of former President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela – although his wives were all one at a time.

Practicing our ingratiating ethnic restaurant bow

Graca is the widow of Mozambique Marxist President Samora Machel making her the only woman we know (so far) to have been First Lady of two different Marxist countries! I hope Lady M doesn’t get any ideas.

Meanwhile, back state-side, I understand Big Guy, just wrapped up Fund Raisers #29 and 30. It’s not easy raising a billion dollars you know, and he’s made it clear that he will not rest until he’s done. As opposed to that slacker George W. Bush who, at this point in his presidency, had only held 3 fundraisers.

And speaking of Big Guy, big Afghanistan read tomorrow night: it’s unclear at this point just how quickly we’ll declare defeat and withdraw completely, butt I’ll let you know as soon as Lady M decides.

When we get back from Africa, we intend to illustrate all of them for Doug!

Also, don’t forget, Lady M’s off on her “solo” trip to Africa today! More later, or you can follow us here.

And I just found out we’re going on a safari! In Botswana!

You might recall that our predecessor, George W. Bush, who is to blame for everything that’s gone wrong since we moved into the Big White, also visited there, and highly recommended it as part of Lady M’s visit to her native land:

Anyway, until I found out about the safari, I was wondering about the wardrobe selections that we made for our trip.

From cheetah to python and back again

I’ll be back with more after our “Solo” entourage gets settled in here on the “dark” continent. It’s just Lady M and me; with the Wee Wons, Granny, a couple of cousins and a few hundred “assistants.”

The president himself will occasionally write his own postings. “Tweets from the President will be signed “-BO,” he wrote in a tweet from the Obama account shortly after 7 p.m. Friday.

Tweets from BO signed “BO” so you know they’re really from him. Clever, no?

This big CHANGE was announced concurrent with the news that “President Obama's Twitter and Facebook pages will be run by staff from his reelection campaign.”

So, if the Obama For America (I guess we’ve unofficially dropped the “WTF” slogan for now) 2012 Campaign staff has taken over Big Guy’s Tweets, and BO hasn’t been tweeting himself, you might be wondering: who the heck has been sending me all those BO Tweets up until now?

It’s simple. Permit me to explain: @BarackObama was previously serviced by the Big White PPA (Propaganda and Public Relations) department. Now it’s officially being serviced by WTF 2012 campaign staff. Butt due to a shift in Big Guy’s priorities, he’s now found time to Tweet out a few messages with his own clumsy thumbs.

Big Guy getting his thumbs in shape for WTF 2012

The real problem was never about the thumbs, butt rather with his really big brain, and steel trap memory: with all that going on it’s hard to constrain himself to just 140 characters.

So all of this is good news. Now we can put those rumors about Big Guy being a Luddite to rest. You know, those rumors started by Fox News following BO’s comments about ATM machines causing unemployment and the resulting recession?

They were taken completely out of context, as usual. And the rumors were just silly. We all know how Big Guy loves his Blackberry.

Have Blackberry, will travel.

I’ve personally seen him spend hours with it.

mostly playing games, which helps him unwind after a hard day.

A hard day, negotiating with the enemy

The biggest problem with Big Guy’s announcement however was the timing. For the next little while I don’t think anyone can hear the words “Twitter” or “Tweet” without immediately thinking about this little perv.

A tweet too far

Meanwhile, on the Father’s Day front: Big Guy devoted his Weekly Address yesterday to the importance of father’s, noting again that his own father left him when he was 2 (or thereabouts). He also said that kids need quality time, boundaries, structure and unconditional love. You see what can happen if you only get 1 out of 4? I believe the clinical term is “malignant narcissism.”

Anyway, he’s been thinking a lot about the Wee Wons growing up lately, and fretting about it. Which is one of the reasons he wants to WTF in 2012 – so he will still have the Secret Service keeping an eye on the girls. He’s admitted that the thought of them going on dates without an armed escort makes him nervous, not that there are likely to be many dates if he follows through with his threat to grill any potential suitors:

"I might invite him over to the Oval Office, ask him for his GPA (grade point average), find out what his intentions are in terms of career,"