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Maybe he just doesn’t like Van Halen?

A U.S. District judge has given the cold shoulder to a suspended Oakland University student’s lawsuit over an essay he wrote titled “Hot for Teacher,” based on the famed Van Halen song and video about a teenage boy’s sexual attraction to his teacher.

In Corlett v. Oakland University Board of Trustees, Judge Patrick Duggan said the student, 57-year-old Joseph Corlett, had no First Amendment right to profess his sexual attraction to his instructor in the essay and ruled in favor of the university.

According to Duggan, Corlett “brought a pig into the parlor” when he called his teacher “stacked” and compared her to the character Ginger on Gilligan’s Island. “Such expressions, while possibly appropriate in some settings, need not be tolerated by university officials,” he said.

Corlett was suspended in 2012 for writing about his instructor, Pamela Mitzelfeld. He described her as “tall, blonde, and stacked,” among other things. Corlett said students in the English class were told to write honestly and that no topic was off limits. But Oakland University claimed the essay was inappropriate and suspended Corlett.

“This is a case that never should have been brought, and justice has been served by its quick and decisive dismissal,” attorney Len Niehoff, who represents the university, told The Detroit News.

Corlett currently lives in Florida. His suspension requires him to undergo sensitivity counseling if he ever wants to return to Oakland University as a student.