Neg – Noun: an ambiguous statement or seemingly accidental insult delivered to a beautiful woman a pickup artist has just met, with the intent of actively demonstrating to her (or her friends) a lack of interest in her. For example: “Those are nice nails; are they real?” 2. Verb: to actively demonstrate a lack of interest in a beautiful woman by making an ambiguous statement, insulting her in a way that appears accidental, or offering constructive criticism. Origin: Mystery

-taken from the glossary of terms in The Game by Neil Strauss

Negs are an important part of running game for some people, not used at all by some and others are indifferent. I think the reason there is a division is because of the narrow definition that we have been told and restricted ourselves to. We sometimes push the boundaries of those definitions, but when we start to go too far, people start to say we’re not negging anymore, just because it isn’t covered by this narrow definition anymore. The game is evolving though.

The community is going through a growth spurt and people are starting to notice trends, that there are people out there, calling themselves Pickup Artists, or PUAs for short and they’re starting to learn the common tools that these people employ, that WE employ. A very common example of this is a Neg, as by the current definition, it is easy to detect and easy to harass someone for using. We need to change this, so that we’re not being called out for using negs when we are carrying on a conversation with a target. To do this, you need to broaden your definition of a neg.

The definition of a neg stays the same, it is somewhat of a backhanded compliment, or a slight insult, followed by a positive comment, but you’re not using them for the express purpose of showing disinterest in a beautiful girl that you just met. Maybe you’ve also heard that you should neg a girl that’s a “9” or a “10” 3-4 times, an “8” 1-2 times and a “7” not at all. That’s really quite narrow too, sure it’s a guideline, but a guideline that says that negs are only required for a certain task and only used a couple times and then you never use them again.

You can also get away with using playful insults, without any kind of positive comment, but instead using positive body language and tone, this typically is overlooked by most people when they are looking at the definition of a neg, because they take it at face value. An example of this is something that I like to say to girls that try to tease me, “I can’t believe you just said that! You’re so rude!” The words are all negative, but by saying with a big grin on your face, a playful push and maybe even a wink, while over-acting and making it obvious that you are pretending to be offended, you will almost always make her behave better, gain attraction because you had the balls to tell her to behave and you did it in a way that was funny, plus you’ll almost always get a playful punch/push or some kino that you can build upon.

Anyone that has spent time in the field practicing negs and worked on calibrating them will be able to tell you that negs will make a girl that isn’t interested in you, suddenly become interested and then attracted. Negs are something that most women don’t encounter on a regular basis, so it’s different and catches them off guard. Women love to be surprised and challenged, so when you do something unexpected, like tease them about their hair that they are normally complimented on, it makes them surprised and now you’re a challenge to face, to make you like their hair.

Instead of using negs to simply show you aren’t interested or impressed by her and then ditching the topic, to talk about something else, in order to DHV, you can engage the target with the neg and get them to play back with you, almost like teasing your sister and getting into a name calling match, only you’re gonna use it to create sexual tension. By continually using slight negs, with a very playful vibe to the way you say them (by using smirks, big grins, winks, or a smile that slowly creeps up on your face) you don’t hit as hard as you do with a standard neg said with a straight face.

You keep this up and this becomes part of your personality and is thus accepted by your audience, so you don’t have to stop as you normally would when just trying to get a girl to stop being so high on herself. It achieves the same results though. You bring her opinion of herself down because you are using NLP by showing that she doesn’t impress you and demonstrating that you think higher of yourself, even if you are just joking. You show an active disinterest in her as well, which makes her more interested in you, but by being playful about your disinterest, you are showing that you are willing to give her a chance to prove herself to you, if she can just up her game and demonstrate that she has a sense of humor and whatever other qualities that you are negging her about.

People seem to have a fear that by continuing to use negs, their target will become insulted and lose interest. I argue that what we are doing with negs in challenging our target’s mind and that is something that is necessary for a good relationship to last and to ever grow to its full potential. I went out with a girl 3 years ago for a couple weeks before things got broken off for a variety of reasons. I’ve been interested in getting back with her ever since, but never had the skills to really interest her in doing so until recently. One of the main reasons that she is as attracted to me as she is, is because I neg her all the time. We play fight and she loves it. Remember what Mystery said, something along the lines of, “Things that were funny back in grade school still work.” Well, thinking back to grade 1-6, guys and girls that had crushes on each other did a lot of play fighting with each other, in the form of insults and wars of words, so it still works.

My uncle was a natural and he had one of the best marriages, if not THE best marriage I have ever seen in my life. The reason the guy did so well was partly because he had a nice physique, he was thin wiry, with a pretty face (not girly pretty, just….pretty). The biggest reason he managed to attract and interact with anyone though, was because he gave everyone a hard time. Half the time he didn’t even add a nice side to the comments he made and it just made everyone work even harder to make him like them and impress him. His wife is the same way. He would tell her that she was being stupid and that if she didn’t smarten up, he would punch her in the ovaries! She would turn around and tell him that if he didn’t shut up, she would throw him down the stairs. They loved each other more than you could possibly imagine or put to words though and it was always done in jest, generally while laughing at the same time. If you manage to get someone to play along with you at the same level, then you can say just about anything you want.

Now that I’ve explained how negs can be used more broadly than just at the start of an encounter and that they can be used for much more than just showing disinterest and lowering a target’s value, we’ll address the basics of negging and also how this can apply.

When do you neg? Traditional methods would say that you should only neg when a girl is acting as if she has higher value than you, or to show that you aren’t as interested as you are, so that she doesn’t treat you like any other guy that hits on her. Those are both good times to neg and I use them all the time myself. You can also neg whenever a girl presents you with an opportunity to make an “in joke”, or does something that you can point out in a way that makes it sound like you think she’s being silly and cute, or a stereotypical girl, so that she will try to impress you more, but it will also encourage her to act in a silly way, because although your words are telling her that she isn’t impressing you, you make your tone and facial expression a positive one, so that consciously she listens to your words, but subconsciously, she will take your tone and body language as being the correct message. You want to encourage this “silly” and fun attitude, because by doing that, she associates fun with you and will want to be around you more, because when she’s around you she has fun, it’s like getting her hooked on a drug and she’s always going to want a fix. That girl I mentioned going out with 3 years ago, enjoys all the teasing I give her so much, that she comes to me asking for fun and entertainment, because she says she doesn’t get it anywhere else in her life, because no one else will challenge her and give her a hard time, like I do. If you’re sending your negs with a fun and positive tone and encouraging facial expressions, with smiles and winks, then you can use a neg whenever you see an opening.

How often should you neg? Generally not more than 3 in 5 minutes, except at the very start when you’re trying to demonstrate that teasing is part of your personality. You don’t have to always neg and you can go for a long time without negging if you are using a more serious frame, trying to engage your target on a deep intellectual, or emotional level, but if you are trying to increase attraction through demonstrating fun, I like to neg at least once every 5 minutes, until I get into comfort building, then I’ll only use them once in a while, when I feel that she’s comfortable enough to build more attraction.

Who should you neg? Anyone that has enough confidence in themselves to take a joke, because that’s the best way to deliver a neg, as a joke. I use negs to AMOG in a way that makes guys think that I like to joke around and I don’t mean anything by my jokes, even though at the same time, I’m slowly lowering their value with the people around them and increasing mine. I find that this approach works better than using heavy hitting negs, that people take notice of, because you can remain the guy that everyone likes, while stealing girls out from under their bfs, or their friends that are trying to keep guys away from them. I use negs on targets and obstacles, to demonstrate that I treat them the same way as I treat their male friends and that we’re just being friendly, which causes them to be more attracted because I’m not actively pursuing them. I use negs first on the target, so that the obstacles become more friendly and then I’ll neg the obstacle to show that nobody gets special treatment, I treat everyone as equals and we all joke around, whether I just met them, or its my best friend that I have winging for me. The only people I don’t neg, are the ones that are too shy, or self conscious, to be able to take being teased, without withdrawing further. What you do with these people, is first be friendly and encourage them to be more open with you, then when they’re starting to open up, you can lightly neg them about something in order to get them to fight back and stop being so shy. Now that they’re opened up and actively play fighting with you, you encourage it by showing her that its all just a game and you’re just teasing and maybe even let her get a couple jabs in first before retaliating. Again, by showing her that it’s ok to play with you and open up, you become different than everyone else that treats her like she’s fragile because she’s normally shy.

Now that you’re engaging people in this way and making them play along with you, you’ll be getting negged back frequently. When guys start to get negged back, they usually try to fight back harder and be more aggressive in order to maintain their Frame, but this usually just ends up making you look like an aggressive jerk and unappealing. Instead of trying to be harsh and overpowering with your negs, try to calibrate them so that you are negging back with the same level of neg, or only slightly more intense. By playing along at the same level, no one ends up feeling like the other person is being an asshole, because everyone is treating everyone else the same (unless you’re both being really mean with your negs, in which case you need to re- calibrate to keep it from getting to the point).

There is a difference between offending someone and negging them, this is what will determine whether your neg is considered a joke, or a slight criticism, or insulting them. When you neg someone, the goal is to gain value in their eyes, while slightly lowering their own value. To lower someone’s value without offending them, you can’t just criticize something about them, like asking if their hair is real or not, you need to follow it up with a slight compliment to take away the sting. So the classic example is, “Nice nails, are they real?” You are taking away some of your target’s self esteem by asking if her nails are real, because the only other alternative is that they would be fake and so you are saying her nails don’t look as good as real nails, but you take that sting away at a conscious level, by telling her that they look nice. Typically you can have the negative portion of a neg come before, or after the positive portion, but there are exceptions depending on what you are saying. It is a bad idea to close with a criticism if it outweighs the compliment and so you put it at the front and then take away with sting with a compliment after. Other times it is a bad idea to put the compliment at the end, because it sounds as if you are trying to back peddle and apologize for whatever comment you made because you decided it sounded too rude. This is something that needs to be determined on a case by case basis and can only truly be learned over time and with repeated use of negging, but when saying a neg, make sure that when you are finished saying it, the target of the neg doesn’t feel like you said something negative, or positive to them, it should come across neutral in value.

Sometimes when you are running game, you will feel the uncomfortable atmosphere that comes from over-negging. When you over-neg, there are ways to fix your mistake, but what you don’t want to do, is be too apologetic about anything you may have said, because you lose any sort of Alpha male status that you may have gained, because now you look like you care too much about what others think about you. If you over-neg, one way out of it is to sincerely apologize for being rude, but you do this once and only once. Once you have apologized, you need to pay more attention to the effect of what you are saying and try not to offend your set/target again, because you probably won’t be forgiven a second time, but don’t continue to apologize, consider the issue over and move on. Another option is to try to laugh it off as you sometimes over stepping your bounds, because you are always joking around and people don’t quite understand your sense of humor. This is sometimes a hard sell, but if you tell them to just take everything you say with a grain of salt, because most of what you say is at least half joking, it works pretty well. You can also play the part of the asshole and capitalize on the image by telling her that you’re just an asshole and you don’t really think too much before you say things, or something along those lines (my roommates use this one a lot and it works well for them because they come off as being oblivious to social standards and people will let anything they do wrong slide). The downside to the last one is that you lose credibility as someone that is very intelligent or polite and that can hurt you in other areas. It’s also important to remember that even though you are claiming to be an asshole, you don’t want to be completely serious about it; it should be said in such a way that she is unsure whether you are serious, or joking, or a mix.

The question of whether you need to neg comes up often and my reply to that is “no”, you don’t NEED to neg, but it will definitely change the way you are treated and the overall atmosphere of a conversation and the relationship. It seems like girls always fell the hardest for boys back in grade school, and somewhere along the line the strength of attraction dropped – having a crush wasn’t as big a deal to her anymore. Is that because they’re getting used to being attracted or because guys have become too scared to use negs as much they did without realizing it in grade school?

I don’t use purposely use canned negs, but in certain situations an opportunity for a good neg that I’ve used before will present itself, so I do tend to have recurring themes. Here’s a couple for you to take a look at. Think about what emotions you are trying to evoke from the target of your neg and then think about how the neg comes off and adjust how much you emote certain emotions and what actions you do, in order to get the best results out of them.

For instance, think of the neg I mentioned earlier about telling a girl she is being rude. If said in a deadpan way, she will take it seriously and lose all interest, because by telling her she’s rude so bluntly, you are being rude yourself. Said with lots of smiles and an exaggerated tone, she will realize you are playing with her and become attracted. Keep that in mind while reading these.

HB: “Maybe it was one of my friends…”
Me: “Well you know that they say the people you keep as friends reflect who you are, so I bet you’re a klepto too. You should probably buy me a drink to make up for it, or at least share yours with me.”

HB: “Hey, can I try your hat on?”
Me: “Well…alright, just for a second though.” *put hat on HB’s head* Me: “Hmm…nah, looks way better on me.”

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” — Einstein

If you are to truly embrace and prepare yourself for the idea that we aren’t all-intelligent beings, capable of absolutely anything if one only stresses hard enough, then you must understand that, at the heart of seduction is the idea that we are creators. We are not fixers, givers, takers, or pickers and choosers. We don’t need to sacrifice or pretend, or try to be something that we are not. We do not need to solve problems. We do not need to have something of value that others would barter for. We do not need to take from others, nor do we need to pick and choose between things. For, in the power of creation lies the power to move past these ideas. Within seduction lies the power to create in a way that many other methods simply cannot.

A person’s potential is limitless because the natural passing of time is filled with surprises, changes, ebbs and flows. The forces of nature have a powerful effect on us all. Yet, most of us go about our lives with little awareness of it. The creativity of nature is something that we can all learn from and use to our benefit. Through the natural occurrence of certain new and ever-changing and adapting factors, nature, in its way, lends a helping hand to those who wish to overcome a challenge in their life. The introduction of new situations, new variables, and new elements coming into the mix is so powerful that the nature of a challenge can and likely will change. By even the most subtle and unexpected of additions, a situation can change so completely that the old problem will cease to any longer exist, and will become obsolete. As people we also hold this great power within us. By simply moving on in our lives, we can not only move past our challenges, but overcome them effortlessly by the natural changing of the situation. It doesn’t take much for something to change, for the old challenge to become obsolete, and no longer relevant.

Most intelligent thinking is based on knowing what will happen in the future, and perfectly remembering what has happened in the past. However, as human beings we just aren’t perfect in that way. We can’t always imagine where our actions will take us. That is one of the key reasons why creation — even to the extent of just moving on — is so much more powerful than thinking. Seduction is so fast and dynamic, that what was once the problem will become completely obsolete as new information is introduced.

Everything changes in the blink of an eye: fast, completely, and utterly. To ensure that you can’t see it coming, it may happen through the most subtle and unexpected of means. So for the most part, seduction cannot be about solutions to problems. This is because most problems become obsolete simply by moving on from them, and because most things can’t be comprehended since we can’t predict the future.

Moving on is about realizing that your best chance at a good life is to make it that way, no matter what happens, rather than trying to pick and choose between the future options that you prophesize. Issues, problems, and thinking all rely upon one resource that you just don’t have: omniscience. However, being willing to adapt to new and surprising situations, and to help guide their creation, can have more powerful effects than you may currently comprehend.

It’s common for us to know someone in our lives who is always transfixed with the idea that if they like someone, then that person doesn’t like them back. Similarly, if someone likes them, then that person ironically won’t find them to be in the slightest bit attractive. Maybe this person thinks they always have to play a game: do the opposite, appear uninterested. Perhaps they view situations as a choice between one option and another. However, this isn’t the only way of approaching challenges. There is another way. This alternative is the idea that the options aren’t clear choices, but rather, the individual must always evolve or adapt to the natural changes that will occur, as new variables are introduced into the situation. One mustn’t predict but, rather, be capable of adapting to and guiding change. If that person had simply accepted that the situation would harbor surprises, and that situations and challenges ebb and flow, come and go, then they would have been more capable of moving on from their obsessive need for control, and been more productive. The power of moving on is, in its simple way, a limitless kind of creation. It allows things to change as they do, so that challenges can be bent, and simplified to one’s needs. It allows new and more productive things to be invested in, fostered, and allowed to expand and grow.

One of the most powerful forces of creation is what you focus on: what you allow to remain the same, and what you allow to grow. You can learn to create outcomes, without any need to pick and choose between the obvious choices. If an athlete were to only ever pick the obvious option and not make something happen, it would be nothing more than a constant back and forth. If a musician were to only pick the obvious option, she will play the same sound over and over again, not realizing how to form different connections, which is essentially the heart of music. With this knowledge you must come to understand that all challenges are temporary — peripheral, even. Challenges do not hold any limitation to your ability, unless they draw your undivided attention. It is your creativity and ability to make a situation the way that you want it to be, regardless of challenge, that determines your very skill. By using the forces of seductive principles, you can learn the powers of creativity, adaptation, flow, and persistence. Through them you will learn to create the outcome by the presence that you project. With that no challenge will hold you. No problem is meant to be solved, it is simply meant to be effortlessly passed. This is the utilitarian, fix-all power of moving on.

It all starts with you. If you are in a situation where you are trying to accomplish something, you need to make sure you are talking to yourself in an appropriate manner. For example, if I am approaching any situation and I think to myself, I can’t do this, I’m not good enough, I’m not up to the job, I’m not what I need to be. What is that going to do? That’s going to send a signal in sort of a loop to my subconscious mind that I am not good enough. That message is then going to travel from my subconscious mind to my conscious mind telling me that I am not good enough for this task. Then I am going to consciously repeat that message and send it back to my subconscious mind. So I will have set up a sort of biofeedback loop in which I am constantly going over and over the same old negative stuff and reinforcing it.

So what do you need to do? Well, I’m not suggesting that you should to lie to yourself per se, but in a sense, you need to. You need to break your pattern. You need to interrupt the pattern that you are already in. What you need to do is start talking positively about yourself. And this is whether you are trying to have dating success or you are trying to have job success. This is for anything you are trying to accomplish in your life. You need to start talking positively to yourself, saying that you CAN do it. Or, even go so far as to tell yourself that you HAVE done it, that you always accomplish this goal, etc. So if I am approaching a dating situation, for example, and I am saying to myself, this is never going to work, this is not going to work out, this is going to be short-term, this is not going to last, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m…you know like the television show where they joke about that. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggonit , people like me. Well, as silly as that sounds, that is the type of mindset you need to get yourself into.

You need to start talking to yourself positively because if you’re saying the opposite, if you are always saying that you’re not good enough, that you’re not going to amount to anything, you’re not going to make this work, this is not going to happen, then guess what? It’s not going to happen! You need to start talking positively to yourself. You ARE good enough. You ARE smart enough. You ARE attractive enough. You ARE (fill in the blank) enough. You need to start talking to yourself positively. You know, I sell over 250 hypnosis CDs and downloadable MP3’s for all sorts of things such as confidence, motivation, etc. But I always tell people that the hypnosis part is very important, it’s very powerful, but that’s only a small part of your day. If you are listening to a CD for example, or if you come to see me for a private session and I make a recording of the session and you play that, you are only going to listen to that at night as you fall asleep, at night, one time a day. The majority of the hypnosis in your life, the self- programming, the self-talk, happens in your awakening conscious life when you are going through your day. And a lot of it happens when you are by yourself. You are talking to yourself. You are driving down the street. You are saying things to yourself. You are in the grocery store and you are saying things to yourself. You are telling yourself how you feel about yourself and how you feel about life. Ughh this is awful. Ughh this is terrible. Or this is great. This is amazing. I am powerful. I am having a wonderful day. It really matters how you talk to yourself. Hypnosis is wonderful. I fully embrace the power of hypnosis. But you need to start talking to yourself in a very powerful way on a daily basis and becoming very aware of it and taking responsibility for the way you are talking to yourself.

If I am in a grocery store and I catch myself saying ughh life is awful, I will immediately change it and say life is wonderful. Life is amazing. I have so many opportunities. I have so many choices. Am I lying to myself? Not really.

Because whatever I say becomes my personal reality. Whatever I put out there, whatever I say, my subconscious mind will react to. Remember, your subconscious mind is like a computer. It takes in whatever it hears. It doesn’t know right from wrong, good from bad, true from false. It just takes in what it hears. That’s the reason that it’s very important that you control everything that goes into your mind. Especially your self-talk because you are with yourself all the time! So, if you want to have dating success or success in anything in life, you need to start talking to yourself positively and when you catch yourself, we all do it from time to time, with that negative self-talk, you need to immediately take responsibility and change it to something positive. Now, at first this is going to maybe seem like hard work. Do I have to change it to something positive on such a gloomy day? Yes you do. You have to start changing the way you talk to yourself. You have to start changing it to something positive. If you want to become a successful, positive, powerful person, you must take control of this. You must take control of every thought that you have. And naturally some negative thoughts are going to seep through. We’re all human. But you catch it, you change it, and you state it in a very positive, powerful way. For example, if I’m saying this date is not going to work out. I catch myself and say this date is going to work out. I am going to have a very powerful experience. I am going to have a very successful experience. I am very confident. That sort of thing. So start talking to yourself in a very positive way whether it’s dating, a job interview, or anything else. It doesn’t matter. Start talking to yourself positively. So, changing your self-talk is step one. It all starts with you. You may have heard that many times before, it all starts with you, but it’s true. I’m hear to tell you it’s true, it’s true, it’s true. It all starts with you.

Also, it’s all in your head. I mean you may think that you need to get certain clothes, talk a certain way, with a certain flair and stand a certain way. I’m here to tell you that it all starts with you and it’s all in your head. If you are confident, you radiate that. And you don’t need to worry about other things. This is 99% of what you are paying for, right here. 99% of the information you need is right here. Start talking to yourself in a very very positive way because it does all start with you.

So let’s go through an example. Let’s say you are about to approach a member of the opposite sex, or the same sex, whatever your taste may be, you are about to approach that love interest of yours. There you are going up to that person. You are walking up to them. What are you saying to yourself? Are you looking at the 99 failures you’ve had in the past with others? The times where you’ve had some success and then it’s worked out not in your favor. Or the time that it never got off the ground? Is that what you are thinking about? Well maybe you are thinking all that, it’s normal. I have worked for professional baseball pitchers. A lot of times they are thinking about the times they messed up. But you know what? They catch themselves. They change that negative self-talk into something positive. So acknowledge you are human and then take responsibility for your thoughts. It’s okay that you had that negative thought, that’s fine, it’s going to happen. If you are going up a roller coaster, you’re going to be scared a little bit, I hope, that’s part of the fun! But you are going to change that if you want a positive experience into “hey, this is not being scared, this is excitement and I am going to enjoy this.” So take that energy, acknowledge it, and take responsibility for it and change it. I’m excited about the possibilities I am about to encounter. I am excited about what could happen in my life as a result of meeting this person. And you know beyond that, I don’t need this person. I don’t need the end result to be A, B, or C. All I need to do in this moment is have fun and go with it. That is all I need to do. So you see what we’re talking about? We’re talking about what could be negative thoughts and changing them in to positive, powerful thoughts, reframing them. You are taking a negative idea. You are acknowledging it because you are human, you are taking responsibility for it and you’re changing it into something positive that is going to help you.

So if I am walking into a dating experience, let’s make it very graphic. I am walking into the bar and there is a female waiting for me and oh my goodness she is so beautiful. She is more beautiful than I ever imagined possible. So my first thought is I’m not good enough, I’m not up to this. This is not right. I then catch myself. I acknowledge that I am human and I have fears. Then I take responsibility and I change that. I change that to let’s have fun with this. Let’s really have fun with this. I am good enough. I am smart enough. I am me. I was okay yesterday when I had never seen this person before in my life. I’m going to be fine tomorrow. I’m going to have fun now. I am confident, powerful, motivated, wonderful and fun. I’m funny, fun to be with, I’m a great person. You see that? Even if I don’t really feel it in the moment, I’m telling myself that. And you know what, your subconscious mind is like a computer. It takes that information and it acts on it. It acts on that information and it makes it your personal reality. So, when you are in a dating situation, whether you are about to meet the person or you are trying to meet the person or it’s your second date or third date, or whatever it is, acknowledge those thoughts of concern. Then take responsibility for them and change them into something powerful and positive.

Homework

What? Homework? Yes, that’s right, I like to assign lots of homework. Let’s face it, if you are sitting at home alone reading this post, it’s not going to do you any good unless you get out there and DO SOMETHING!

So what is your homework for this week? Your homework is to have fun! Your homework is to go out there, find yourself in a dating situation. Where you are going on a first date or a second date or calling that person on the phone whose number you have or returning a call from a person who called you. And you’re catching yourself with those limiting beliefs, those doubts, you are taking responsibility for them and then you are changing your self talk in that moment. You’re changing it into something positive and powerful, like I can do this. I am good enough. It’s okay. It’s fun. It’s exciting. It’s a learning experience. Things like that. Find yourself in one of those situations, catch your negative self talk, change it to something positive, and go through the experience and I guarantee you this. You’ll live through it. You’ll live to come back and read another post. I guarantee it. So go ahead and do it and then in the future we will take it to the next level. So go ahead and do your homework and I will see you in a couple days.

About The Program

Short Guy Game is a seduction and attraction program produced by Boris Gotz and launched in March 2015. The premise of the program is that after religiously following Simple Pickup’s programs, Boris couldn’t find success in the dating and realm and so established that ‘Pick Up is Dead’. In the promotional video for the product, Boris attempts to demonstrate this notion by walking around malls and public areas and approaching women with classic PUA techniques. Unsurprisingly, following the agenda of the video, these approached fail miserably with all the women rejecting Boris outrightly.

Boris Gotz claims to have since approached over 10 000 women in a single year in attempt to figure out the future new-age of pick-up. In doing so, he claims to have developed an entirely new system along with a one year transformation plan that promises to get any guy laid. Above all this, Boris is only 5’2″ (157cm) and claims that he has found a way to use his short stature as an advantage rather than an obstacle with women. To say the least we were sceptical… And so we bought the program ourselves and mulled over the material with a magnifying glass. We also put a call out to those who have bought the product (verified purchases with slips) to send us their reviews and opinions on the product and the growth they’ve seen from applying the techniques. This way, even if we considered the content rubbish, if the results were evident then we’re have to concede that this product is valuable.

We began by going through the hours of infield footage, so as to get a grasp of this guys true skills. One notable fact is that all his sets went almost too perfectly, suggesting that there must have been dozens of sets that went awfully badly and so he cut from the film. That said, this guy does have a certain charm around women and does overcome his disadvantage of shortness quite successfully, with many girls bending down to make out with him. Its quite a sight! If as he says, these skills are recently learned, than we’ve got to give it to Boris, perhaps he’s onto something. Boris moves through the sets in his infield footage with ease and confidence, often keeping girls laughing and quickly progressing up the escalation ladder toward intimacy. He doesn’t have that raw masculinity that say David Tian poses, but this may be a perceptive finding around his height. The bottom line is that in this footage he successfully manages to overcome a major obstacle and seduce women. That is what he promised to do, and that is what he has done. I’ll commend him on some of the most solid infield footage I’ve seen in a while… Now we just have to see about the actually teaching.

From mulling over the content, Borist Gotz does not appear a natural teacher. He has some brilliant concepts, many as promised newly developed, but he does not always have the best way of getting them across. A good teacher is a rare commodity in the PUA industry, of which Boris is not. That said, if you can ignore his lapses in teaching, he has some content that is available nowhere else, especially if you’re a short guy looking to overcome your obstacles. Short Guy Game boast six solid modules entered around overcoming the height obstacle while building a solid foundational understanding of attraction and seduction. Boris outlines quite rigorously what self improvements and ‘hacks’ need to be achieved to reach true transformation. If Boris is to be believed and he hasn’t always been this smooth and cool, than it is worth listening to him.

Content Breakdown

Short Guy Game Modules

MODULE 1: FOUNDATION OF GAME
Here Boris lays out the foundations and gets through all the basic tenant of his new approach while comparing them to the old style of pickup. The rigorous explanation of the differences between the new and old systems are helpful in understanding the core tenants of this program. In this section he explains some of the most notorious paradoxes in pick up and goes through some of the most common challenges that short guys have with women. In terms of setting a foundation for further understanding, the first module does well in giving simple palatable advice without veering too far off into theory.

MODULE 2: THE 2 RULES OF GAME
This chapter, in reference to Neil Strauss’s renowned The Game and The Rules of The Game, teaches you some hard and fast rules to overcome approach anxiety and handle social situations with a burning coolness. It is in this chapter that Boris begins to lay out the rules of his new seduction system.

MODULE 3: BODY LANGUAGE & VOCAL CONTROL
Working on the old idea that body language and tone make up 70% of our communication, Boris teaches ways to naturally improve both so as to come off as a more dominant, alpha male – desire your height. Boris delves into tried and tested techniques here from psychologists and physiotherapists to help make some deep levels transformations. Although this isn’t the most in depth teachings into the subject that I’ve ever seen, it is a nice addition to the program.

MODULE 4: HOW TO TALK ENDLESSLY
This section is basically a summary of ‘Make Small Talk Sexy’ by Bobby Rio. That said, it is a solid condensed compendium on what it takes to hold a conversation with a beautiful woman and never run out of things to say. Any man would do very well to take Boris’s advice here as he throws out some sound teaching. Nothing really new here, bot solid advice none the less.

MODULE 5: HOW TO DEAL WITH CHALLENGES
This is the section in which Boris really shines. As a product geared toward short guys, Boris mulls over some of his frustrations and how he successfully overcame them. This section comes across as honest and Boris comes off as knowledgeable, dishing out advice only a man who has ‘been there’ could do. If you go through one section of this program as a short guy, this should be it.

MODULE 6: LESSONS OF GAME
In this conclusion to the program, Boris talks about how to focus your efforts and further your advancements towards total transformation. He speaks allot about affirmation, visualisation and building a rock solid path towards your goals. Its a good, if slightly sentimental ending to the program and leaves viewers on a positive and inspirational note

Short Guy Game Bonuses

- ONE-YEAR TRANSFORMATION ($37 Value)- HOW TO GET GOOD, REALLY FAST ($47 Value)- HOW TO GAME HOT GIRLS ($67 Value)- SECRETS OF BORING GAME ($97 Value)

The bonuses included in Short Guy Game offer an interesting, if somewhat immature, addendum to the core program. One Year Transformation offers a solid plan to keep to following the completion of the program and may really act as the golden thread between the content and real world success. Unfortunately the same can not be said of How to Game Hot Girls, which is really just rehashed content and could of been left out of the program,.

Pros

The only decent program on the market to help short guys overcome their obstacles with women.

Good production value, program is well recorded and edited and infield footage is enjoyable to watch.

Good value for money – At $67 this program isn’t going to send you ravaging for Ramen noodles.

Solid one year transformative plan, a nice addition to the program to ensure those that buy it actually pursue results.

The purchase if facilitated by Clickbank, a very reputable product management system and so if there are any problems they should be sorted out hassle free.

Cons

Although Boris promises an entirely new system, their is lots of old rehashed ideas in here. Not a problem if you’re new to the game, but relatively experienced readers may be irritated by this.

Boris is not entirely the best teacher – Although he is knowledgeable in some specific aspects, he fails in others coming across as borrowing knowledge from industry leaders.

The Bottom Line

Short Guy Game opens PUA products to a new, challenge orientated genre. Perhaps we’ll see more products popping up for super tall guys, thin guys, fat guys, white guys, black guys etc. etc. The program manages to stay focused on the task at hand, which is helping short guys overcome their obstacles and get laid, but fails to address some of the deeper issues more immersive (and expensive) programs in the industry tend to do. The bottom line is that if you’re a short guy looking to up your game, this product will be of major help you to. And truthfully, if you’re a short guy, you might as well buy this because there’s nothing else as good on the market and I suspect their won’t be for a few years to come.

The Desire System is a collaboration between The Social Man and Dr. David Tian (formerly known as Asian Rake) of the Aura Dating Academy. It was launched on 26th March 2013 with a limited access of 500 memberships. The goal of the desire system is to teach you how to have an abundant sex life by learning how to turn women on. It is David Tian’s personal seduction system and the one he teaches to men in Singapore.

The Desire System has grown in popularity since its 2013 launch, much owing to the constant stream of customer reviews which have suggested that the immersive style of the program almost guarantees results. While these reviews should settle the debate around the program once and for all, unfortunately they are often flawed. Firstly, it is human nature to exaggerate and ignore some of the pitfalls of programs. Often people who find success in programs are motivated to write up reviews and those who don’t find success are not. The end result is a plethora of positive reviews, while the actual ratio of positive to negative sits somewhere in-between. The second issue is that ,any companies have been known to pay users, bloggers or just freelancers to write up positive reviews for their programs. It is difficult for watchdogs such as ourselves to verify reviews on sites outside of Amazon as the reviews are often not linked to proof of purchase of the program. Hence, these reviewers may have never even been through the program before posting their reviews,

We analysed over 150 reviews of The Desire system and Lust by David Tian against a set of criteria to try ascertain a credibility score across the board. By matching reviewer’s claims against the content of the programs we were able to verify that atlas 83% of the reviews contained inside knowledge of the programs suggesting that they have been through the program videos. Of the 83% verified reviews, only 14% contained massively exaggerated claims or claims that go beyond the intentions of the program – Leaving us a sample of 108 trustworthy reviews within which to examine the Desire System Program.

Unsurprisingly, our findings indicate that this program is amongst the most effective programs on the market adjusted for commitment. This means that if you commit the time intended on the program, which is about one hour per day, you have a very high chance of achieving the results offered in the program. That said, The Desire System does not promise a magic pill. David Tian, a master in his field, understands that without hard work you will get nowhere – and with hard work, your progress will be slow and steady. These are your only two options according to David Tian, there is no fast track to success with women.

The program aims to transform men away from their nervous ways with women over the course of three months, with daily videos, exercises and instruction split into weekly categories.

The Desire System is split up into two main parts (The Desire System and Lust) with four subsections in The Desire System and two subsections in Lust.

About The Author

David Tian was born in Taiwan to a conservative Christian Taiwanese family and spent his early developmental years growing up in Kansas City, Missouri and then later Toronto, Canada. In his late 20’s, after obtaining a PHD in Asain Cultures from The University of Michigan and following a divorce from his first wife he left Canada for China to further his studies. He later again moved to Singapore to take up a position as a professor in the Department of Philosophy at the National University of Singapore. He has held numerous academic fellowships, including from Princeton, Harvard, Tsinghua University in Beijing, Peking University, The Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada, the University of Toronto and McGill University.

In August 2011 he resigned from his professorship to form Aura Dating Academy in Singapore and pursue his calling as a Dating Coach. David quickly rose to relative national fame in Singapore, known as Doctor Date and dubbed the ‘Hitch’ of Singapore. He has appeared numerous times on both national and international news and similar broadcasts and is well respected as a dating coach (as apposed to a Pick Up Artist). David prides himself of an academic and intellectual approach to attraction and seduction and boasts of in-depth research into neuroscience, psychology, biology, sociology, literature, philosophy, history, and the behavioural sciences in forming his dating programs.

The Desire System

Part One: Introduction
– Who is Dr David Tian and how did he come to develop the Desire System? Meet the nerdy academic turned seductive ladies man here. In this section David Tian gives in depth insight into the history of the seduction and self help movements as well as a look into his own life and how he came about making incredible life changes. This short segment gives the viewer a chance to get comfortable with David Tian and his expertise, laying a path to a healthy learning relationship with this teacher.

Part Two: The System in Action
– Lets waste no time: David demonstrates the Desire System in action, and explains how simple it is to use it. This segment is meant to calm learner’s fears and worries about the system by laying out the basics and foundations and allowing the learner to view the entirety of the system in it’s full simplicity. David uses in field footage and demonstration to show just how easy it is to master The Desire System once the foundations are taken to heart.

Part Three: The Science of Attraction
– What is attraction? David starts with the very foundations of attraction, revealing the latest in what science has to say. The Desire System is deeply rooted in scientific developments with regards to attraction, and so David Tian takes you through some of these developments and findings and explains how they are engrained in the system and how they are applicable to you. Dr Tian takes great lengths here to explain the scientific findings in terms of common social interaction and also explains at length which old notions have now been dismissed by new evidence. This segment is one that sets The Desire System apart from other programs in the market in that it takes a true analytical approach to attraction that translates precisely and magnificently into real world situations and common psyche.

Part Four: The Approach
– Starting a conversation doesn’t have to be hard. As a matter of fact, David is going to show you the stress-free way to make a perfect first impression on a girl… with just a few simple words. This segment delves into the dynamics of the approach, giving insights into what gives rise to approach anxiety and how to overcome it, as well as addressing some of the more subtle nuances at play during an approach that can be the difference between a flirtatious interaction and a flat out rejection. In this segment David goes over his hard and soft rules when approaching women and sets out an approach mindset (not plan) that is bound to get you laid. David’s treatment of approach as mindset based is quite revolutionary within seduction programs and helps keep the affects of this program non-creepy. Instead of going out to approach, as old-school seduction programs would have you do, David teaches a mindset that sees approach as a natural part of daily life as an attractive man – Powerful stuff.

Part Five: Connection
– Seduction takes trust, and trust takes a connection. In this section, David will show you how to rapidly build an exciting, heartfelt connection with a woman by utilising some powerful inner and outer game techniques. Again, as a trained professional, Dr Tian avoids creepy town by giving real world advice that has its roots in more conventional psychology. In my opinion, this doesn’t have any negative effect on effectiveness, infact a more honest approach to building connections and rapport with women, away from silly gambits and weird tricks, is always welcome in my book. The point of the system is to build you up as a truly honest man with integrity, not a slimy creep looking to trick women into your bed.

Part Six: Humor & Vulnerability
– How do you build that “spark” with a woman? David and science have the answer: humour and vulnerability. Learn some of David’s best techniques in this section as David borrows tried and tested techniques from famous comedians, humour analyses and infield experience. Dr Tian provides a plan here not only to appear more humorous, but to actually become a more likeable person by developing your ‘humour bone’ at the same time as opening up to attractive vulnerabilities that men should posses. This section takes a holistic view of that attraction process by acknowledging the integral part that humour and vulnerability play.

Part Seven: Jason Capital on Sexual Tension
– Friend and fellow dating coach Jason Capital joins to discuss the power of sexual tension, and how to use it to make women want you. Sexual Tension, also known as temperature, lies in the hidden power of sub communication. Jason Capital explains how you can get a women super attracted to you without even saying a word. Sexual tension lies in your mindset approach to women and understanding once you have your eye on a woman how to tease her, single her out and get her excited for you so that she build strong, unbreakable sexual attraction to you. This section veers away from David Tians approach to seduction as a mindset a little bit by giving hard techniques to use in the field, some which may be considered as gimmicks or tricks, but it is nice to get a different perspective inside the program and some of these techniques are proven as really effective.

Part Eight: Sexuality
– Its time to go for it… and with David’s super-smooth escalation techniques, you’ll lead her into an exciting, blissful sexual adventure. In this section it appears as if Dr Tian borrows allot from Vin Dicarlo’s renowned ‘Escalation Ladder’ but works to improve and smoothen the techniques to help learners become less rigid and more confident in their escalation to sex. While this part of the game often goes overlooked, it is an important part of the system as men are often met with LMR (Last Minute Resistance) when closing the deal with a women. Pay attention here and avoid settling for a sad cuddle.

Part Nine: On Neediness
– The Desire System works when you’re feeling pure, good emotions… but what if fear, nervousness or neediness get in the way. David troubleshoots here. In this section David explains the necessity for developing a zen like samurai mind engrained with all the workings of a confident, successful and attractive man. These concepts are by far the hardest to fully grasp in the program, but arguably (and certainly in my experience) the most important part of the puzzle. Learning to overcome the root problems at the bottom of nervousness and neediness is the closest thing to a magic pill on this earth, and David explain some solid psychological techniques and plans to get there. With a solid focus on this section, you can skip out on a lot of self-help books around this issues and get straight to working on building yourself up.

Part Ten: On Self-Esteem
– It wouldn’t be a Social Man program if they weren’t helping you improve you confidence and your life. David saves the best for last in Desire’s conclusion and shows you how to build a rock-solid self-esteem that permeates throughout all aspects of your life, not just your seductive and social life. David gives you tried and proven techniques to build an attractive self image and belief that will carry you through your life happy, healthy and successful.

Lust

Part One: Introduction
– Dr. David Tian jumps right into the thick of it – The stages of sexual relationships and the path to confidence and masculine independence. In this section David helps you discover your optimal relationship style and teaches you how to manage expectations so you (and your partners) can get what they want out of your relationship. This relationship management section is paired with confidence and masculinity as David explains their integral role in managing your relationships as a confident, masculine man.

Part Two: Personality Conditioning
– In this highly controversial lecture, David shares his techniques for conditioning a person’s personality to adapt to you expectations. These are powerful techniques rooted in NLP that can shift a persons beliefs through sublet coercion. David explains that these techniques can be powerful and detrimental if not used with absolute integrity. Use with caution.

Part Three: On Love
– What’s love got to do with sex and relationships? In this chapter, David will flip your understanding of love upside down, giving you more power and independence. This segment is less wishy-washy-lovey-dovey than you’d expect. Dr Tian explains the great science of love and what love can do for you in your pursuit of happiness and liberty. This single lecture changed my outlook and approach to love. Love is by far a central tenant of my approach to life now.

Part Four: On Relationships
– Why would women want one-night-stands, and what kind of relationships do you want? David share another proven set of revelations in this section around relationships. Learn how to manage the more fringe relationships: One night stands, booty calls, f-buddies, multiple girlfriends etc.

Part Five: David Wygant on The Seductive Mindset
– Friend of David’s , and world-renowned dating coach David Wygant joins us to talk about the mindset of a seductive man… and shares a mantra for the ages. This is a truly powerful lecture as David Wygant delves into the deeper workings of what makes the most attractive men on earth what they are. This section explains how little a part physical elements play and how big a part more subtle working elements play. Great lecture, one I have watched numerous times when I’m feeling low, and it gives me a huge confidence boost.

Part Six: Adam Lyons on Dating Technique
– Master dating coach Adam Lyons joins us and pulls no punches, revealing a technique that will blow your mind as well as a very special surprise at the end. Adam Lyon is an energetic and enthusiastic speaker and a joy to watch dominate the floor. He is extremely knowledgeable, having been one of England’s first major dating coaches and having watched the industry develop for years. You’d do well to take this guy’s advice to heart, as well as do your best to absorb his brilliant persona.

Part Seven: Hypnotica on The Dominant Man
– The legendary Hypnotica joins us to reveal the mindset of a dominant man, how to create unique sexual experiences, and a panoply of techniques that you’ve never heard before. Hypnotic brings with him an extensive background in hypnotism and NLP to reveal some of the hidden powers in language. In this lecture he provides some awesome insight into the inner workings of the mind and the great power of influence in shaping our beliefs, and helping us shape others’.

Part Eight: The Techniques & Conclusion
– It’s been a long day, and David closes it off with a final section of amazing, addictive sexual techniques. This is his final segment of the program and he lets out some last minute tips to remember to make you a rock solid stud in the bedroom. By this point you should have a solid foundational understanding of the program and be sleeping with girls with ease. David helps you explore the outer limits of your sexual life and helps you take control in your desires.

Bonus Programs

The bonuses you get with The Desire System depends on which package or focus you choose. The three different packages; Confidence, Seductive and Relationship, are meant to help you choose what you want to get out of the program and give direction to your learning.

The Confidence Package

The Social Matrix

Assertive Approaching

Complete Confidence Hypnosis

When You Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough

The Ten Spot

The Seductive Package

Endless Conversations

The Art of Seduction

The Coffee Shop Drill

The Bombing Opener

Holiday Hookups

Friends into Lovers

Sexual Texting

The Frame Control Bible

The Model Challenge Screen

The Breathtaking Hello

The Relationship Package

Lustworthy Sex

The 7 Commandments of Dating 9’s and 10’s

Peek Inside The Program

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Pros

The program is above all holistic
– It takes a well rounded, no BS view of masculine development and attraction. It finds a good solid balance between scientifically backed theory and field proven technique. This is a major advantage over other programs, such as Texting/ Phone Game programs, Approach programs or Testosterone supplements that aim to treat symptoms rather than cause. The Desire System treats seduction and attraction as it should be – As the result of multifaceted improvements to ones own being – while providing enough technique to send one into the world confidently while practicing the deeper levels of change.

Dr David Tian is a great speaker and teacher
– In the past it has really grinder my gears to have to sit through hours of videos of some geek fidgeting around the room, speaking out of his nose and reciting great theorems he developed by reading thousands of PUA forums and never actually getting out into the world. With David literally none of that is a problem. David is first and foremost an academic, having held academic teaching positions and having obtained a PHD in Asian Cultures and Philosophy, he is intelligent, sharp and understands the central tenants of teaching. This is not to be undervalued – The cleverest man in the world is useless to us unless he can teach. David has great charisma and energy when teaching and is able to sum up big concepts into nice little digestible chunks. I didn’t get bored even once going through the hours of footage in this program,.. Ok maybe once when Hypnotica was babbling on in his hypnotic voice – But otherwise, David is really cool, funny and enjoyable to watch teach.

The members area website is brilliant
– The members area of the website is really well designed and brilliantly built. In my time their i did not run into one glitch or error. All your programs are provided in order, easily accessible from any computer or point in the world. The website rewards you with ‘Achievements’ (like boy-scout badges) for completing various tasks and steps in the program. Psychologically these rewards really motivate one to keep coming back and timelessly complete the program. For me this was a great and unique addition to the program and something I have not seen in any other program of this kind.

The Community & The Feedback
– Im not sure how they’ve achieved this as so many have failed before them, but The Social Man team has managed to build and maintain a thriving members only community, much like I imagine the original Mystery forum was minus all the creepy magicians. People are constantly posting hurdles, solutions, revelations, progress dairies and results and David Tian and his team are constantly responding with advice, encouragement and affirmation. Its really cool to see a community that’s there to help each other grow and become the best they can without judgement and with a common interest. There are many great PUA forums around the web, but The Social Man Members Only forum really hits the nail on the head. Everyone is there with the certain integrity you need to involve yourself in The Desire System and so you don’t find many of the nerdy, icky gooey types that you do on other forums. I must admit, this is easily one of my favourite things about the program – Ongoing personalised advice from coaching professionals and a super supportive and cool community.

Updates
The Social Man team is constantly improving their existing programs instead of churning out new programs to make money – And if you’ve bought a program, you’re given all the updated content free for life. This is really cool of them. In the past two years they have done two major updates to The Desire System, adding new videos and rerecording old lectures in better quality and with updated content. The cool thing about this is that you can finish the program and then come back a year later and have a whole new program at your fingertips to even master yourself further.

Price

At $67, The Desire System is by far at the low end of dating programs in terms of price. Often dating programs can (unjustifiably) cost thousands of dollars. Its great to see a Dating company pricing their products fairly. Against their competition’s prices, The Social Man could of priced The Desire System at 5x it’s current price and easily got away with it. This is a major pro for cash strapped lads such as ourselves.

Cons

The Desire System is not a quick fix
Unfortunately The Desire System is not an overnight program – heck there’s even more than 36 hours of videos to get through over time – Unless you’re willing to really commit the time and effort to see serious change, than this program is not for you. There are many programs on the internet that promise fast acting results, the sort of ‘get you laid quick’ programs. These programs are able to get you laid quick by giving you a very shallow and short lived set of tricks and routines to run on girls. If you don’t have the time, or don’t care about long term results and deeper change than rather pick up one of these programs, as unless you really dive deep into The Desire System it will be useless to you.

Streaming Its not a problem for most but those with very slow bandwidth may struggle streaming the videos online which can’t be downloaded. EDIT: After further investigation The Social Man team have informed me that customers can email them to obtain a download code for the videos.

The bonuses are a bit unnecessary/ random
Understandably it is difficult to release a program without bonuses these days as that is what consumers have come to expect, its all part of the package, but the bonuses that come with The Desire System are really a bit useless. They’ve packed all of their good stuff into their main program and so the bonuses are a bit fluffy and unnecessary. That said, in many senses it is better to put all the good stuff in the main program, so perhaps this is not such a con but in my opinion all the bonuses (besides the trail of The Way of The Rake) are unnecessary,

See David Tian in Action

The Bottom Line

Though no program will ever be perfect, The Desire System is arguably the best value for money product I’ve ever reviewed. At $67 you’ll be hard done by finding a fully immersive program anywhere near that price. Beyond it’s price, it is effective, holistic and emotionally mature and would bid well for people of all skill levels. Those further along their journey might find allot of overlap and repetition of previous knowledge in this program as David Tian goes through the pains of explaining the basics. That said, David teaches from a refreshingly honest and mature angle and goes far beyond the basics without ever losing touch of the human element. The Desire System is a solid program by all accounts and so gets the BeBe stamp of approval.

Attraction ISN’T based on logical reasoning. We can’t choose who we’ll feel attracted to and we can’t choose who we’ll fall in love with.

The perfect example: although settling down and having kids with a nice guy may be “the right thing to do” for a woman, she’ll fall madly in love with a bad boy instead…

Even if he is abusive, not around the most of the time, unfaithful, and has more freaking drugs and alcohol than blood in his blood!

Whether we hate it and try to prevent it or not, attraction is a feeling based on irrational emotions… and triggered by certain fitness indicators that increase our value for the opposite sex.

And that’s DESPITE of what they may think is best for them (like a rich guy, a guy from the same culture, and all that other wish list, knight in shiny armor type crap).

In fact, most of the time women WON’T BE ABLE TO TELL YOU WHAT THEY WANT because when you talk about attraction, you’re talking about an age old sexual selection instinct that only takes place on a subconscious level.

And it isn’t like people are conscious of what takes place on a subconscious level, that’s why it’s called SUB… conscious: below consciousness.

Duhhh.
But do you understand what this means?

That you should NEVER pay much attention to what a woman says, not even to what a woman thinks… because all that matters is how a woman feels, so if you push the right buttons to create attraction… the buttons that spark that chemistry and sexual tension.

And that takes me back, because I’ve met a lot of women who were angry at first because of my “sexual aggression”… but who later ended up sleeping with me because what they said was very different from what they felt. Push the right buttons and a woman can’t help but feel attracted, even if she’s not looking for a man, has a boyfriend, or initially rejected you.

Whether your goal is social success or dating success, or even success career wise, if there’s a need… then people will be attracted to you if you can fulfill that need.

Women who are happy with everything they have, are, and do can’t be seduced… but almost no one is perfectly content with the life they’re living.

And that means… that EVERYONE can be seduced, because the only thing you need to know is how you can add value to their lives. If you fulfill their needs, they’ll fulfill yours.

An example of a psychological need: most women never get to GO somewhere interesting, MEET someone interesting, or DO something interesting. They’re caught in a serious trap: everyday life with all its mind numbing routines and obligations.

Have to pay the bills, have to pay the rent, have to do grocery shopping so I can eat, have to brush my teeth, have to go to the workplace and do the tasks of my almost meaningless feeling job… not only women, but 99% of the population, is totally BORED.

People are looking for an ESCAPE from this boring ass lifestyle… which is exactly why movies, TV, music and so forth are so popular: they provide a temporary escape from the daily dullness.

And guess what? If you can BE the escape you’ll attract more women than the number of bees that are attracted to honey. GO somewhere with them they (almost) never went, DO something with them they don’t usually do, BE the adventure for them.

If you’re living a lifestyle that’s exciting and far from ordinary, you’ll be a woman’s escape from the daily routines. It’s exactly why women go absolutely crazy over celebrities, because they think they live a super exciting lifestyle.

Scientists did a research project during the 70s where they looked at what single quality attracted the most women to a guy. It wasn’t looks, money, or social status… but the level of novelty seeking.

Let me repeat that: the guys who were the most successful with women where the guys that did unordinary stuff, went to unordinary places and said unordinary stuff… because they provided the biggest and best escape from daily life!

And all of a sudden, achieving consistent and massive success becomes a matter of changing your lifestyle as well, wouldn’t you agree?

The Origins Of The Battle Of The Sexes

The most important thing to remember about what attraction is though, is that women and men are fundamentally different: they’re NOT attracted to the same things… but most men think they are.

I call this “Attraction Circuitry Projection.”

Men are visual creatures: we’re attracted to materialistic things, physique, beauty, youth… and as such we think women are attracted to external things as well. Looks, money, status, fast cars, big houses… we think that’s what they want because WE’RE attracted to it.

Meanwhile, women are emotional creatures that are attracted to internal things like personality and charisma… character traits, humor, and how you make them feel. Because they’re attracted to it, they think we’re attracted to it too.

The result: both sexes end up feeling pretty damn disappointed because they do the WRONG things to attract each other! It’s what the entire “battle of the sexes” is about my friend.

Now don’t get me wrong here, women ARE attracted to looks and men ARE attracted to personality to a certain degree…

But that’s only 10% of someone’s success with them at best, the other 90% is looks and youth to men and personality and charisma to women.

In short: women AREN’T attracted to your Ferrari or to pretty boy looks, and after reading the next couple of pages you’ll get more than enough proof to make you see the brutal truth behind attraction.

But I first want you to realize just how deep the rabbit hole goes, because you’ve been raised with the belief that materialistic crap is the way to go.

It’s called capitalism my friend. Like it or not, but men (and women too) are taught that women want flowers, candy, to be taken to a fancy restaurant on a date, and so on.

As such, men give women all that stuff on a first date and especially on Valentine’s Day. The flower shop keepers, restaurant owners, and so forth make a nice little profit.

Meanwhile, we already know that women are attracted to personality and charisma. The result: you’ll come across like you’re trying to buy a woman’s approval. That you’re trying to make her like you with gifts.

Hell, women see it as “there’s something wrong with him and he’s making up for it with these gifts. Because why else would he give them to make me like him?”

In short: all these gifts don’t work, but men and women are taught that women are supposed to get gifts because teaching them this is good for the economy.

Juicy secret: look it up on the internet some time, how Valentine’s Day came to be. It exists because it’s marketable. That’s it.

The rabbit hole of making men believe that women like materialistic stuff goes even deeper, but I think I made my point here: women like personality and charisma.

What Makes Bad Boys So Attractive?

Being unordinary equals being unpredictable, because you do stuff that no one’s doing… and being unpredictable is the KEY to why bad boys are so attractive to women.

Why? Because bad boys are FULL of contradictions:

– He is the dangerous, extremely confident man who doesn’t give a crap about society, rules, or any form of authority and is full of adventure… BUT he’s also the small, innocent boy in a big man’s body that needs saving in a moment of weakness because he can’t help himself

– He’s the perfect escape from boring everyday life filled with its routines, nagging and obligations BUT the escape is only temporarily, sooner or later a woman knows that her heart will be broken, and she accepts… because he was only an escape, he “doesn’t count”

– When a bad boy is with a woman, he lives in the moment, and makes love to her like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do: raw, passionate sex and always making her feel so very CLOSE to him… BUT there are also the times he vanishes into thin air, nowhere to be seen, and nothing to be heard. Who knows if the rebel in him will ever want to come back to you…

– When you’re with him as a woman, he’s oh so sweet and caring BUT when you disagree or argue with him? He’s stone cold, harsh, full of criticism and downright abusive to women

– If you pay close attention to his posture, his gestures, how he moves and his entire body language? Nothing seems more natural, and in control than he does… superbly dominant over his surroundings BUT get him angry and he loses all that control, he turns into a living hell…

But how can you start being as attractive as a bad boy without becoming an abusive drug addict? Good question!

It’s using a bad boy’s traits to your own advantage.

The Four Bad Boy Traits That Always Attract Women

The first one is Being Close versus Being Far Away. Why does being really close to her at one moment and being unreachable to her the next moment work so well?

The moments you’re not there make the moments you were intimate with her that much better. Think about it: if you’re there every day, then every day is an 8 to her on a scale from 1-10.

Now imagine you’re gone for a day and she has WAY less fun, her day was like a 2 or something. The difference between day 1 when you’re there and day 2 when you’re gone is HUGE, so gosh… would she value the days you’re there more?

Duhhh.

Even if you haven’t been on a date with her you can use this to your advantage: have large amounts of fun with her on day 1 and do something else without talking to her on day 2 and I can guarantee you that she’ll come asking for more the next day by texting, calling or trying to see you… SHE’LL CHASE YOU.

And once she has noticed that she has way more fun and is happier when you’re around than when you’re gone, you’re in for a treat! It’s the economy at work really:

if there is more demand than there are supplies, the value goes up… in this case YOUR value goes up. So don’t be around every freaking day and try to talk to her every day because then there are more supplies than there is demand, and just like with the economy your values drops until your worthless.

And most men wonder why women don’t feel attraction anymore, it’s because of what I just explained.

That doesn’t mean women are evil demons that come from the depths of hells, or that the world is satanic, it’s simply a matter of if you give someone too much… they get spoiled.

I know from experience that being gone more than being there DOUBLES the attraction, becomes she’ll have to make an effort of keeping you around… you’re a challenge. She’ll have to work for you, chase you around.

Does that make you more attractive than 9 out of 10 guys? YES, because a woman almost NEVER has to chase, so the one she has to chase is the most interesting guy to her…

Here are some examples of using this contradiction:

– Approach a woman in a club or bar, leave, and come back later on. Nothing displays confidence more than being willing to leave. And the effect of being gone? Well, see above for why this works dummy!

– Women have stuff to do, they actually have a life, but they enjoy talking to you. So quite often they’ll talk with you although they have stuff to do, and insisting she goes ahead and does it and that you won’t talk anymore until she has done it… it will make you come across like you’re a 100% NOT desperate, and again it gives her the gift of missing you. Btw: this works every time a woman can choose between doing something with you and doing something else.

– Got her phone number? Send some text messages back and forth the next day and start teasing her, getting to know her more, etc. do the same thing the next day, but don’t do anything or reply to anything on day 3.

Works with emails, MSN Messenger or Yahoo messenger, with text messages and with calling her. It always works: the next day she’ll approach YOU first (just wait and see).

– Always be the first one to leave, hang up, and go offline and always be the one who has less time to spend with a woman than she can spend with you.

Don’t even start with “but won’t I lie to her then?” No, because even if you have no friends to see… then just enjoy yourself with a movie, a game, a book. Whatever. Enjoy yourself WITHOUT her.

And also don’t give me the “won’t I hurt her feelings then?” No, because she will enjoy the times you are there WAY more, she’ll enjoy your company WAY more… so you’re actually doing her a favor.

Technique #5: use Being Close – Being Distant to your advantage. Not only will it make a woman want you more and chase YOU around, it will also make sure you don’t become a desperate little wussy who just HAS to hear from her today… which is a HUGE turn off.

Next up: the contradiction of Being A Pain versus Being A Pleasure. Let me get this straight: being a pain doesn’t mean hurting her feelings, bitchslapping her, and so on. Allow me to explain…

Most men are yes men with the women they’re interested in. She: “Do I look fat in these jeans?”
You: “No honey, it looks good on you!”

They ALWAYS try to please a woman, but you can bet your ass that if you reply in the way you did above that she said something along the lines of “You’re only saying that because you love me!” Am I right?

My point exactly. If you continually nod yes, agree with everything, and always aim to please? Then you’re not being yourself… you’re FORGETTING yourself, and a woman will lose respect for you and interest in you. You’ll be extremely predictable.

To prevent that, Being A Pain is perfect… because it keeps her on edge. You simply disagree, say no, tell her the truth, or you’re selective about what she likes or wants to do. It’s best if I show you some examples:

She: “Michael Jackson is a hero!”

You: “Well, he’s a good artist… but heroes aren’t accused of being pedophiles honey.”

She: “I want to go to the mall today…”
You: “I don’t, I’d rather go to the beach with you.” She: “Do me! I want to have sex with you right now!” You: “No, you’ll have to work for it.”

Did I just say you should refuse horny women? YES, at first! Why? Because women are used to men giving in immediately when they’re horny, that men will be all over them once they say or hint at something like that.

But guess what makes her want you even more? What creates attraction even more? That she’ll have to WORK FOR IT.

In fact, making women work for it always works because the more time and energy they’ll have to invest in you, the more value you’ll be to her. It’s called Investing.

She: “Can you help me with my homework?” You: “That depends… what do I get in return?”

Funny thing is: you can almost ask for anything in return. If you just met her, a kiss on the cheek will do. If you’re on a date, demand two kisses. If you’re about to have sex, demand a full body massage first. Are you catching my drift here?

Technique #6: Use Being A Pain versus Being A Pleasure by making her work for everything most of the time, and sometimes agreeing with her.

You know Darwin? The guy that “invented” evolution theory? He was a genius, because the man brought us sexual selection: that females of any species prefer certain traits in men over other ones, and mate with the male who displays the most of a certain trait.

They did a study with peacocks once, where they had 2 peacock males and several female peacocks. They put a fake, female peacock next to 1 male and the other was left alone. Guess which male peacock the females chose? The one that already had a woman!

That’s why you usually get WAY more attention from women when you’re walking around with another woman, because there’s nothing that signals good genes, knowing what women want and so forth… than already having a woman.

This is called “Pre-Selection”, or put in simpler words: the effects of jealousy.

And here’s a juicy secret: most men are scared shitless of being seen as players, of having a reputation as a ladies man, a womanizer… while it actually is the biggest proof of pre-selection EVER!

Other women will think:

– If you already had so many women, then they’re must be something about you that is so seductive, so good…

– If you showed interest in those women, but not in me… then what’s wrong with me? Am I not an attractive woman? Am I “not good enough”?

I’m all woman and I’m an attractive woman so you HAVE to be interested in me because you want to be with all attractive women…

And this makes women curious to find out what is so attractive about you, and eager to prove that they’re just as much of a woman as the women before them. Plus, knowing they have competition makes women fight that much harder for you (and over you!)

So here’s what you do.

Befriend the women that don’t have a sexual interest in you, and hang out with them. Then as soon as you meet a woman you want to be with and she asks you about your weekend, you’ll tell her about how you had so much fun with a female friend…

Better yet: get your new female friend to introduce you to HER female friends, but nothing says “pre-selection” more than being introduced by an attractive woman. That’s the power of meeting women through your social circle right there: pre-selection!

Technique #7: start using pre-selection already! Mentioning other women’s names on your Facebook profile, having photos of you and a female friend on MSN Messenger, when they ask what you’re going to do this weekend you’re obviously hanging out with your female friends, etc.

I touched on the subject of fulfilling a woman’s psychological needs before and I know…

It sounds really complicated, it can’t be pulled off when you just got to know a woman and – insert lame excuse #3 here – right?

WRONG!

To give you an example: when I first met my girlfriend, I asked her what she wanted to be when she was a little girl. First of all it’s fun to talk about for her because no one ever asks that, and it’s useful for me as you’re about to see…

She told me she wanted to be an actress most of her youth but never had the chance or the guts to do it. What did I do?

I got her a book about acting that all the greats used to learn how to act AND to land an acting job… and she couldn’t be happier. We went all the way on the first date.

Here’s another one: one of my students, Tom, met a girl who had always wanted to be a singer. She told him after he asked for her long lost ambitions.

So on his second date with her he took her to one of his friends, a producer who needed some female vocals, and he let her record the crap out of that day. Guess how she repaid him? I think you already know

The KEY to discovering a woman’s secret psychological needs, are her long lost ambitions.

When we’re young we’re full of energy and ambition and dream about doing or being something, but as we grow older we become disillusioned and never end up doing it… and those ambitions of ours become shattered dreams.

All you have to do is find out what HER long lost ambition is, her shattered dream, and help her live that dream… even if it’s only for a day.

There isn’t any other way for a woman to feel so much respect and attraction for you than this technique right here… because you just fulfilled a need NO ONE has ever fulfilled, plus by doing it you showed a genuine interest in her.

Women aren’t attracted to guys who randomly pick up women, they’re attracted to men with a genuine interest in them.

To discover her lost ambitions, you can ask her what she wanted to be or do later on when she was young… or ask her to imagine that if anything was possible right now, what would she be or do? And there you go!

You don’t need 10 dates for date bro, but one GOOD conversation… and she’ll come back and back to you because nothing is more attractive than fulfilling someone’s secret needs. Same goes for building a social circle btw, but the obvious difference is that you don’t sleep with them.

But WAIT – there’s more…

Next to helping her live out her ambitions of the past, there’s also something called the present buddy… and we’re living in it. To cut right to the chase: everyone has something or someone they’re totally crazy about.

Me? I’m a total basketball junkie, but a woman could be totally into Italy, gangster movies, and so forth… or be crazy about horses, or cats.

Put a little thought into it and you can easily find out what a woman’s ultimate fantasy is: a man who likes the same things she does so she can do them all the time… or, even better… a man who IS what she likes so she can do HIM all the time!

If this sounds difficult, here’s a simple example:

My ex was totally crazy about salsa, Spain and everything that has to do with the whole latino culture… so what did I do?

I catered to her fantasy: instead of baby, I called her mami or bonita or mi corazon… instead of “yes” I said si, instead of going to some r&b venue on Friday, I took her to a salsa night.

When driving the car, salsa or reggaeton was the only music being played. I connected everything I did and said to Spain so she started associating all the good feelings she has always felt about the Latin culture with ME. You won’t believe how fast she wanted a second and a third date.

My girlfriend, mobster movie junkie, loves to eat pasta, loves Italy. So what did I do? On the first date, I showed up in a suit…

We ate together (had her make pasta with my instructions), I talked about my adventures during vacations in Italy, I used typical Italian slang, and we watched “Goodfellas” at the end of the date.

Why do this? Don’t make me remind you of the economy my friend: you simple give women what they want, because THAT’S the most valuable to them and thus what they’ll be attracted to the most. You are who they want you to be 

“Yeah but that’ll cost me a whole lot of time and energy to pull off…”

Are you crazy? Do you know how many women have a thing for mobsters, gangster movies, etc.? They’re bad boys, and almost every woman is attracted to bad boys…

And take women with a traditional culture who were brought up in a very strict environment: religious women, women from the Middle East, women from India/Pakistan etc. Because they’ve been limited in everything they could do, say, and think so much… guess what their ultimate fantasy is? Freedom, adventure, risk…

And with women from these traditional cultures, mostly with women from the Middle East or Hindu women, they’re brought up with a sense of how social status is super important, they have to marry well so the family will benefit, and bla bla.

Catering to it: showing you have an above average interest in the Islam or Hinduism, showing up in a suit for a date, wearing jewelry. Funny thing is that every time I’m walking around in a suit, the interest coming from Middle Eastern and Hindu women DOUBLES.

And you don’t even have to make it an expensive thing: when it’s cold, people wear a shawl… if you’re going for Middle Eastern women, then why not wear an Arafat like shawl? Costs 10 bucks if it’s not less then that, and you’ll get interest exactly from your type of woman.

Go on vacation on a country that’s poorer than yours and women will be all over you, because in their eyes you’re their escape… they have the fantasy that you can give them the lifestyle that they want.

Do you know a woman who’s father died when she was really young or who ran away from his responsibility?

There are many women out there that unfortunately come from a background like that, and all they’ve wanted all their lives is a father figure. A father figure is extremely dominant, but also a protector of loved ones, he’s wise but he can also be very strict and picky.

Display these traits more than any other one and she’ll be attracted to you because she’s subconsciously drawn to it, in fact, did you know that most women usually end up with a guy who closely resembles their father (in personality and charisma) and men do the same but with a woman who closely resembles their mother?

I rest my case: catering to a woman’s fantasy is easy, it works, and it’s way more effective than anything else because you fulfill needs that no one could… up until YOU showed up.

It’s also way easier to meet and date your type of woman, because you’re catering to it with your Arafat shawl for example.

I have a thing for Middle Eastern women so hey… that shawl is what I used and it worked like a charm!

The easiest fantasy in the book that bad boys have been using since the beginning of time, is that they’re the perfect escape from everyday life boredom, from the annoying daily routines and obligations.

Cater to a woman’s fantasy and work on being her escape just like bad boys do… and you will more than double your dating.

Technique #8: find and fulfill her long lost ambitions and her fantasies. It’s easy, extremely effective to do so, and works with all women.

Not only that, it will teach you so much about women that you can practically throw this ebook away if all you learn from it is how to cater to lost ambitions and female fantasies.

And if you want to know more about fulfilling needs, long lost ambitions, and secret fantasies then I highly recommend you read The Art of Seduction, a book by Robert Greene.

He originally gave me the idea, I just put it into practice and made it work… work really, really well.

What Women Want

Isn’t that what every guy on the planet wants to know? And let me get this straight:

I won’t pretend like I have ALL the answers, but I can certainly point you in the right direction because I’ve read pretty much every book about psychology and evolution that’s out there.

By now you already got some clues about what women want… personality and charisma, but what kind of personality does that mean?

Most women will tell you to “just be yourself”, and most men are annoyed when they say that… while there’s so much truth in it. It’s just that women don’t know how to explain it.

What does the vast majority of men out there do? They shower a woman with compliments, gifts, expensive diners, chocolate, roses, and so on… thinking that it’ll make a woman like them.

The only thing you’ll be doing when you try it this way is coming across like you’re trying to BUY her approval… but attraction isn’t a choice and woman can’t say “yeah I’ve had enough flowers now, I think I’ll love him from now on.”

Idiots. They don’t listen to women when they tell them to just be themselves. You probably think you ARE being yourself when you do stuff like this, but let me ask you:

Do you give flowers to your male friends to get their approval? Do you

shower them with compliments, gifts, and food to make them like you? No you don’t, so you’re not being yourself when you do that with women!

The sad part is that the things that instantly create attraction can be found in all of us:

They’re basic instincts that ensure the survival of our species.

There are character traits that create attraction and display that your genes have a high chance of survival and if no man would have these traits while women look for them, our species would become extinct.

These character traits are:

– Being unpredictable
– Being a novelty-seeker/risk taker
– Being a “socializer” (someone with a large social circle) – Being a playful teaser
– Being a protector of loved ones
– Being selective (being picky)
– Being indifferent – Being dominant – Being mysterious – Being confident

Don’t even start the “I don’t want to pretend like I’m someone else” crap, because the brutal truth is that up until now you probably HAVEN’T been yourself because you haven’t been using what’s passed down through generations, your basic instincts…

The things you’ve been carrying around all along but just didn’t develop.

Fun little side note: we only use 10% of what our brains are capable of, so are you pretending to be someone else when you use the other 90%? No… you’re only trying to reach your full potential.

But the big question becomes: WHY are these character traits that I mentioned before attractive to women?

The Character Traits That Create Tons Of Attraction

We already covered being unpredictable and being a novelty seeker, so let’s move on to Being A Socializer.

Thousands of years ago when we only just began to come together and live in cities, resources like food, clothing, and money were still limited. WAY more limited than today where you can get products from Brazil and from Spain in the same store: bananas and orange apples.

Because resources were scarce, having connections meant having more access to more resources. As such, being a socializer who easily made connections within the city and outside of it meant having genes with a higher chance of survival than someone who greets who he knows and that’s it.

It also meant that socializers over time would develop the connections to trade thing A for thing B when they needed it, so they could even get access to resources that weren’t available to them nearby.

It’s how trade, commerce, and the economy started: trading something you have plenty of for something you need but don’t have.

Having a large and/or high quality social circle had several other advantages for men as well: knowing more people meant having access to more potential mates via a friend, and it also meant that if a socializer would befriend a more successful guy that person’s success would rub off on him. Why?

Because people are much like sheeople: they have a tendency to follow the herd, and if the herd so happens to be more successful than you are?

You start copying what they do, and end up being more successful yourself because of it. So by knowing the right guys, the chances of survival for a socializer would become even higher.

That’s why women started sexually preferring men with connections, socializers, people with social status: if they would mate with them, they had a higher chance of survival as well and so would their offspring.

Over time this turned into the more social someone was, the more attractive he was to women.

Do you see now why the cutest chick in college wanted to be with the most popular guy, just like the rest of the women? Access to a larger social and that’s it.

THAT’S why being very social creates attraction.

Technique #9: build your social circle. Befriend the women that don’t have a sexual interest in you, because it’s like Dale Carnegie says in his famous book How To Win Friends & Influence People: everyone is your master in some area.

That means you can learn from everyone, so there are no enemies… only friends and people you haven’t befriended yet.

Being A Playful Teaser. It’s my favorite character trait: they don’t call me Dennis The Menace for nothing. Why is teasing women so attractive?

Since the beginning of time men have chased women.

Men have been the hunters… and by playfully teasing women you show them that you’re not impressed with their looks, that they have to bring more to the table!

It means they’ll know they have to make an effort of getting you, which is way more interesting than the 9 out of 10 guys who practically offer themselves to a woman on a silver platter… no effort needed.

And I don’t know if you remembered Attraction Circuitry Projection, but it’s a process where women believe men are attracted to the same thing as they are and vice versa. With women that means they think men are attracted to personality and charisma.

By teasing a beautiful woman other men would suck up to because she’s so pretty, you cater to the Projection:

You display an attitude of who cares if you’re pretty, what else do you have to offer? And after looks comes personality, so women will assume you’re attracted to personality and charisma just like they are… making you the one man that doesn’t disappoint them!

So how do you playfully tease a woman then?

1) Exaggerate – if she’s shorter than you are, she’s a midget. If she’s longer than you are, she must be a famous NBA basketball player. If she has a big but, you call her J. Lo. If a really fat woman walks by, you tell the woman you’re talking to that she needs to watch out for Free Willy.

Other examples: if she says she’s tired, you accuse her of being a zombie, and she denies, you tell her she’s lying and that ALL the damn zombie movies in the world combined don’t have SH*T on HER! I think you get the point.

2) Tell her what she doesn’t want to hear – smart academic like chicks are dumb blondes and mongoloids, dumb chicks are brain surgeons, athletic sporty women are outrageously fat or have love handles, tall women are midgets, midgets are giants, fashionable women are fashion crimes, the small purse a woman carries around looks like a body bag, etc.

3) Imitate – if she says she hates a certain girl you go “I mean oh…my…GOD… she is like suuuuuch a bitch. Whateverrrrr.”

Key word here: think how a gay guy would say it and make sure she knows you’re pretending to be her. And if there are two objects lying around, two glasses or a phone and a pack of cigarettes doesn’t matter… pick them up and pretend like one of them is her:

“Hi my name is Linda and I’m sooo stuck up, a total brat! What’s your name?” and then the other one is you: the overly masculine Rambo wannabe. Also seriously funny: watch how Cartmen from Southpark does it. As soon as someone complains he says: meh meh meh meh with a really childish voice. Use it!

4) Nickname the crap out of her – if she so happened to be wearing a lot of red, call her “bull detector”, “bloody Mary”, “communist” and so on and stick with it, mention it later during the conversation by asking: “so what are you going to do tonight, communist?” If she wears blue, call her a Crip, a sea lover, sea world junkie, etc. White? Klu klux klan! Black? Satanist! Witch! Goth chick!

Need I say more? Nicknames are what close friends give to each other so by giving her nicknames and using them constantly, you create a connection with her because only you two know how she got the name.

5) Anything she says is a sexual hint – anything long, thick or hard? Guilty! Anything that has to do with balls, sausages, sticks, wood, poles, lips, bed, sleep, plastic and so forth? Guilty!

Accuse her of being a nymfo, of being a super freak, of only wanting to take advantage of you while she could at least take you out to dinner first, etc. Key word: role reversal! If she gets a drink, accuse her of trying to get you drunk so she can take advantage of you. If she gives you a compliment? Tell her she only said it because she wants to get you in bed. You get the picture.

Technique #10: start playfully teasing everyone. If you don’t have a sense of humor (yet), you better get some in-field inexperience then dude! I’m talking man, woman, and child… tease them all. Start seeing women as your spoiled, bratty little sister and you’ll know how far you can go.

Moving on…

Being A Protector Of Loved Ones is easy to explain: the men who protected their wife and their children the best in earlier times, had the highest chance of survival… so women sexually preferred men who could protect their loved ones the best.

In modern days it’s a loss let obvious though because we usually don’t throw a spear at someone else anymore, unless you’re a serial killer off course.

These days it’s all about showing that you stand up for your friends and family and telling her about it whenever the opportunity presents itself… that you tell her about what you did to save their asses.

Another way is developing a bit of a “mobster persona” as I call it. For example:

She had a presentation at work, her boss criticized her, and she just told you that he was being unfair, then you can come across like the protector of loved ones by saying:

“What!? Your boss treated you in an unfair way? Do you want me to go and have a “friendly” word with him? Because no one can treat you in an unfair way but me!”

It may remind you of territorial gorillas, but in all fairness, being territorial is attractive to women because again: the one who protected his turf the best had the highest chances of survival in earlier times… and besides, you’re never visiting her boss but just showing you’re willing and able.

Technique #11: start being the protector of loved ones. If someone treated her unfairly or if she despises someone, throw your “mobster persona” on the table. Be territorial whenever she’s around or when you’re talking to her and you’ll create HUGE amounts of attraction.

Being Picky… or being selective. Whatever you want to call it, if you don’t take everything for granted, are judgmental, not easily satisfied, say no whenever you want to, and let your opinion be heard as soon as she says, does, or wears something you don’t think is 100% okay? You’ll create attraction.

Just like with being a playful teaser, it shows a woman she’s going to make an effort of getting you, pleasing you, and keeping you. She’ll have to chase you and that’s way more attractive than a man who chases her.

There’s also some genetics involved though: when we were still living in tribes, the most selective men knew exactly what they wanted which allowed them to make quick decisions.

Quick decision making was very important back then, because when foreign invaders, natural disasters, or animals threatened the tribe? Action needed to be taken FAST and gosh… do you think knowing exactly what you want would make a difference? Yep! Again, higher chances of survival.

It’s the same for being confident btw: having confidence meant not second guessing decisions you made, which would definitely benefit the tribe when in danger… and that meant higher chances of survival.

There are also advantages to knowing what you want: scientists did a study where they sent two groups of people out on the streets of the same city, where one had to bring back anything they found on the pavements and roads… and where the other group had to bring back as many pennies as they could.

Guess which group found the most pennies? The second group…

Do you understand what this means? That the more selective you are, the more women that are “your type” you will find.

Technique #12: start being pickier. Disapprove, say no, disagree, be judgmental, and know better what you want and you’ll get more of what you want… duhhh.

And here’s the juicy secret: if you disapprove of something a woman says, does, or wears?

You’ll know when she’s interested the moment she either tries to qualify herself by denying or explaining herself after your disapproval. If she makes an effort of qualifying herself, then obviously your opinion of her matters wouldn’t you agree?

Next up: Being Indifferent. Being indifferent means not attaching ANY value to someone else’s opinions or actions, being in control of your emotions, and staying calm when most people would freak out.

But why does it create attraction?

First of all, if fewer things have an effect on you, it means a woman will need to work for you and by now you know that means she’ll be attracted.

Secondly, let’s go back to tribal times again: the guys who kept their heads cool and their emotions under control in a time of crisis were the ones that survived a crisis the best because they could think straight and act calmly. Higher chances of survival. Again evolution scores a point in the women & dating department.

Finally, if you’re indifferent then you simply don’t care or care less about the outcome of any event… and that means having the balls to take more risk and to go further with women than most men would. Obviously, this is a qood quality because you’re less desperate and get more result faster than everyone else.

The trick to becoming indifferent: reality is a subjective perception my friend, because YOU decide how you’re going to feel about 10 people killed in Afghanistan, a bad score for an exam, getting fired, etc.

Emotions come from within, which means they can be controlled, and since reality is what are opinions and beliefs about the world are… we can change reality by changing how we feel about things.

You can do this with an easy affirmation “I am responsible.” If you use this affirmation every time negative emotions are about to take over, you’ll gain more and more control over your emotions because you take more responsibility for them.

Here’s a simple metaphor for it:

When you go outside, do you get angry, upset, and all hot and bothered when it rains and do you blame the world for the rain and think that your life sucks really bad? Or do you, instead, look for an umbrella to solve the problem of getting wet?

Negative emotions have no use: they stop you dead in your tracks and cost you precious time. I’m not saying you should neglect them, I’m saying you should look for solutions to problems instead of feeling angry about it for a freaking year when being angry doesn’t SOLVE the problem.

Technique #13: become more indifferent. Say “I’m responsible” when a woman says “No” because you really are responsible for how it’s going to influence your night.

Will you decide that she’s worth it to screw up your night, or will you think I won’t let my night go to waste because of one chick?

Will you get upset when someone tells you something you don’t want to hear, or will you see if you can use it as feedback to learn more?

It’s your choice… your responsibility, now start being responsible because the more responsibility you take on your shoulders, the more you control you can exercise and the more power of where things are going you’ll have.

Being Dominant is a character trait that creates attraction with women no matter where they live on our little planet. Note though that being dominant is different from domineering… one is leading her, the other is being a paranoid psycho who demands to see her latest text messages to see if she cheated on you.

The funny thing about dominance is that some men are naturally dominant but don’t know that it works really well with women… I was one of them once.

But WHY does it create attraction? It has to do with human evolution my friend.

Here’s the story:

We didn’t always live in cities, in fact, most of our history consists of us living in small tribes on the plains of Africa and Asia… tribes of a couple dozen people at best.

And when a male of a tribe was more dominant than other males, he would be able to gather more resources (food, shelter, clothing, etc.) whenever he wanted by taking it with force or exercising his influence.

That meant that because he had access to more resources, his genes had a better chance of survival than that of any another male and that if a female would mate with him… SHE and her offspring would also
have higher chances of survival.

The result was that after thousands of years women started sexually selecting dominance as a character trait, because the more dominant a male was the better her genes would survive and the more offspring she would be able to support.

So from a survival of the fittest perspective, the character trait of being dominant has been a fitness indicator for a loooooong time.

Conclusion: if you want to create more attraction, be more dominant.

An example of getting a woman’s phone number…

Instead of ASKING her “may I have your phone number?” which is not dominant at all and just plain stupid because the chance she says no is 50%, it’s easy to say no…

You TELL her “let’s exchange phone numbers, so we can talk more tomorrow” or the even more dominant “give me your phone number, so we can talk more tomorrow.”

I know from experience, and genetics, which one gives me more success with women…

Do you know now too?

So please, take the lead. BE THE LEADER and tell her where you two are going because it creates attraction.

Not only that, being dominant and deciding where you two are going, how late and so on will make YOU feel more confident in the situation you’ll end up in… and being confident is attractive as well!

Although feminists want to make you believe otherwise, women instinctively WANT TO BE LED…

Feminists saying dominance is not a male trait but a human trait and them demanding equal rights for the last 100 years is no match for women sexually preferring dominance for thousands and thousands of years, PERIOD.

The perfect example of how women want to be led that is easily recognizable for most men:

You: “what do you want to do today honey?” She: “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

Classic boyfriend-girlfriend interaction which proves my point.

Technique #14: be more dominant and don’t ask for permission. Can I get your number? May I ask you something? Could I? Are the wrong things to say.

I want to see you, let’s exchange numbers, give me your number, let’s go there and there… then you’re talking! Never ask a woman for permission to do anything, she’s not the master of your destiny or your life. You are.

You’re not her love slave, you’re the leader whether you like it or not: women lose respect and feel less and less attraction for you if you don’t take the lead.

Being Mysterious is closely related to being picky and playful teasing because a woman will have to work for you, only this time it’s to get to know you better you. Being mysterious is being more than meets the eye. It’s creating curiosity and anticipation for what’s coming. It’s never putting all your cards on the table and this always leaves her wanting more.

You can be mysterious either because you don’t tell her everything there is to know about you, because you can do what most people can’t (example: magic), or because you’re highly spiritual.

Either way, you’ll be VERY different from your average guy who watches the average football of his average club with his average friends, while drinking average beer. Much of the “thrill of the kill” with attraction is because a woman won’t know everything about you, or what’s next… and you can easily use it to your advantage:

– Say you’re about to take a woman out on a date two days from now, then an easy way to make her look forward to it and to create even more attraction than you already had going for yourself is by creating ANTICIPATION.

Drop little hints like “yeah I’m taking you to this place that’s really awesome and where they have this…” or “guess what we’re going to do?” and then let her guess for it, only to NEVER tell her what you’ve got in store for her.

– Whenever you’re telling an exciting story on the phone, on MSN, or even in person and right in the middle you just… leave! And if she wants to hear the end of it? Make her work for it: “what do I get in return when I tell you the rest?”

– Use stuff like palmistry, tarot cards or The Cube (it’s a fun little game, Google it!) to not only create mystery about how you can know her so well in such a short period of time, but also about where you learned that stuff… and in the case of palmistry, it’s a good way to start physical contact by touching her right before you kiss her.

Being mysterious has also something to do with leaving her guessing: with being unpredictable. And the great thing about it is that if you leave pieces of the puzzle missing, the human mind tends to fill in the blanks in the only way it knows how: with wishful thinking, with positive images.

Example:

Say a woman asks you what you do for a living and you answer “I’m into marketing…” then your answer leaves so much of the puzzle missing that she’ll wonder: in marketing? Do you have like your own company? Are you a manager of some kind? What’s the deal here… and she’ll want to know more.

Technique #15: be more mysterious by not giving an answer right away, by letting women guess and anticipate… and by always leaving them wanting more. After the examples I gave you above here, I’m sure you can come up with your own ways to do it.

Last one up: Being Confident. I already mentioned how confidence served a man well in ancient times and how it increased his chances of survival. If you want to learn how sexual selection works and why these character traits create attraction, then I highly recommend you check out a book by Geoffrey Miller called The Mating Mind.

Let’s talk about what happens when you approach a woman while feeling insecure, anxious and full of doubt. Because YOU are uncomfortable, it will make HER feel really, really uncomfortable. It will make her want to leave.

If you feel comfortable going into the situation however, she sees you’re relaxed, open and feeling just fine and safe… so SHE’LL feel that way too. Remember what I said about people being sheeople, followers of the herd? Same thing goes for confidence…

Quite often, being a little more confident than you should be is VERY attractive. A simple example of how to do this is when a woman gives you a compliment like “you’re sweet!” don’t say thanks, but say “I know!” they love that stuff.

Here’s another one: say she says she’s going to pay her family a visit then you can respond with “you should pay ME a visit instead, because I’m much more fun than they are.”

A quick exercise to start feeling more confident right before you go out to meet women, whether it’s in clubs and bars, on the street, or even online… is “The Circle Of Cool”. Who do you think is the coolest guy on the freaking planet? The baddest motherf*cker around?

Whether it’s president Obama or Neo from The Matrix, next time before you go out ask yourself: how would he move? If a woman says so A, B, or C what would he say and how would he say it? Imitating people who you think have supreme confidence will make YOU feel more confident just like how imitating successful people will make YOU more successful.

Another obvious but overlooked tip: listen to the music or watch that movie that gets you pumped up and ready for action. This kind of stuff motivates you and makes you feel more confident, which will show itself as soon as you approach a woman. You will feel better while doing it!

Technique #16: start building your confidence by working on your insecurities and your fear of rejection and failure. Secondly, use The Circle Of Cool and “motivational media” to get you going just before you go outside to rock the world.

Now you know exactly what women want, it’s time to look at how to approach them easily and successfully…

The sole reason for feeling like a total wussy for not approaching a woman, and then beating yourself up about it afterwards, is a LACK OF CONFIDENCE.

It’s feeling insecure in the presence of women or during confronting situations, but it’s also a mistake in the way you think about yourself, the world, and women. Allow me to explain…

The biggest mistake men make is how far their lack of confidence actually goes.

One of the basic human drives is seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. The things we’ve been doing over and over feel the most comfortable and safe to do, which is why most people keep on doing them.

The collection of the things we feel comfortable doing is called our “Comfort Zone”…

Because everything we do OUTSIDE of this little bubble of ours feels unsure, unsafe, and uncomfortable… and since we’d rather avoid pain we want to avoid risk.

That’s why it’s so hard to change habits, because they’re in the dead center of our Comfort Zone.

I’m willing to bet though that you got this ebook to make a CHANGE for the better because you’re not happy with the results you’ve been getting with women & dating.

But do you understand what this means?

It means you’ll have to step OUTSIDE of what feels comfortable, safe, and sure for you if you want to achieve better results…

Because doing what you’ve always been doing inside your little bubble will get you the results you’ve gotten so far, and those are NOT the ones you want or you wouldn’t be reading this ebook in the first place dude!

Here’s a juicy secret: the things YOU think aren’t possible to achieve are often nothing more than things that lie outside of your comfort zone. Without knowing it, you talk yourself into believing bad assumptions about the world around you that limit the success you can achieve: LIMITING BELIEFS.

If this sounds too vague, let me be a little more to the point: you screw up your chances with women because of insecurities and fears YOU create.

It’s like you’re your own worst enemy, so believe it or not… it’s time to kick your own ass! Because if you expand the limits of your self-image (your “Comfort Zone”), you expand the limits of what’s possible.

But how can you know if you still suffer from insecurities or fears and need to build your confidence?

What Is A Confident Man Anyway?

If you can’t honestly say that you can do all of the things below without feeling anxious, without hesitation, and without awkward silences… then you’ll need to start building more confidence.

That’s okay by the way, because when I first started to learn how to meet & date women I had ZERO confidence.

The 15 qualities of the confident man:

1) Feeling comfortable when you’re alone in a room or at some place with a woman you think is attractive

2) Acting in the same way at a birthday, a party, etc. with your friends or family when an attractive woman you don’t know is there

3) Not becoming jealous or losing control of any other emotion when a woman talks about another man or mentions her ex

4) Not losing the control over your emotions when a woman says something you don’t like or criticizes you

5) Not getting carried away in other people’s emotions, especially those of women. Example: not end up feeling negative when she feels bad, because you’re in complete control of your emotions and other people’s emotions can bring you down.

6) Not hesitating when you see an attractive woman and want to approach her, because when you want to approach her you just go ahead and do it

7) Not “over-thinking” what you’re going to say to a woman you want to talk to because you’re not worried about what she’ll think of you

8) Not needing looks, money, clothes, power, fame, an important job, or any other crutches for confidence or to be able to “get the girl”

9) Not fearing you will lose a woman as soon as you’ve been on a date with her or ended up being in a relationship with her

10) Not feeling unworthy of a woman’s time, love, or attention

11) Not losing control over your emotions or feeling insecure when someone, and women in particular, complain about how you haven’t done something or haven’t provided them with something (like a drink at the local club or bar)

12) Not worrying about whether or not you’ll be able to satisfy a woman’s needs, whether it’s mentally, emotionally, or sexually

13) Not feeling worried, insecure or the need to chase her around to “keep her” when a woman doesn’t reply as fast as she usually does or can’t see you when she usually does…

14) Not losing control of your emotions and getting angry when a woman doesn’t get back to you and not almost stalking her with emails/phone calls/text messages about why she didn’t reply, who she’s with, where she’s been, etc.

15) Not trying to get back your ex back “by any means necessary” by chasing her around which only makes her run away from you more and more because you’re such a desperate little wussy

Here’s the bad news: only a handful of men can truly say they possess all the qualities of the confident man, while most guys suffer from the FEAR OF REJECTION, the FEAR OF FAILURE, and INSECURITIES such as being overweight, becoming bald, wearing glasses, and so on.

Here’s the good news: if you belong to the 99% of the men who still have some wussy in them, I can help you permanently change that…

And it’s important that you start working on improving yourself or it’ll be like I said earlier on: keep doing what you did and get the same result you got.

You don’t want those same results as before or you wouldn’t read this ebook right now, so make a commitment to improving yourself. No excuses. Do it.

A Man’s Gotta Do What A Man’s Gotta Do

What you have to realize first though, is that you need to stop being apologetic. Stop saying sorry for being a man, stop feeling ashamed of displaying “typical male traits” such as dominance, being territorial, and being aggressive in defending what you have and getting what you want.

Men are way too self-conscious when it comes to approaching women: “yeah but what if she finds out I’m only talking to her because I want to have sex with her?” My answer: so??

Newsflash: men are supposed to meet & date woman or our species would simply not survive. From a genetic point of view we’re here to reproduce.

If your father wouldn’t have successfully approached a woman, YOU wouldn’t be here today.

If HIS father wouldn’t have successfully approached a woman, HE wouldn’t be here today…

And so forth.

But what do men do?

Guy A: “hey there! How are you? What’s your name?”

Girl X: “I’m doing fine, I’m waiting for my boyfriend!”

Guy A: “SORRY, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend!”

Men actually say sorry for doing what men are genetically supposed to do: meet, date, mate… but why?

To show you how ridiculous that is, I always use my lion metaphor:

Lions, proud looking creatures that have featured in many films, hunt their prey on the plains of Africa. They have to if they want to survive: they need to feed and for that they need to kill. It’s them or the gazelle… survival of the fittest.

Does the lion sit down and contemplate whether or not it’s “ethical” to approach a gazelle? Does he worry about what the gazelle will think when it understands he’s approaching to eat?

Hell no… it does what it needs to do, and so should you. Stop saying sorry for what you’re supposed to do, for what every man would do if they were you and had a chance of “getting the girl”.

What’s more… women EXPECT you to approach them with a sexual interest and they WANT to be seduced.

Everyone who has a need can be seduced, because they’re automatically attracted towards the person or situation that can fulfill their needs.

Someone who’s completely happy with where they are, who they are and where they want to be can’t be attracted because there’s simply no value you can add to her life.

But almost everyone on the planet has a need, and what’s wrong with making a woman happy by fulfilling her needs and thereby fulfilling yours?

So do what a man’s gotta do.

There’s another big limitation for men that prevents them from getting the results with women they want.

Hell, it’s closely related to stopping with being apologetic. What is it? The fear of criticism.

You see, most men (and people in general) decide what they will and won’t do/say based on what other people will think of them.

Simply put: people subconsciously try to avoid getting other people’s disapproval. All this is, is a survival instinct.

When humans still lived in tribes on the plains of Africa thousands of years ago, guys better made sure the tribe liked what they did and said or they would be kicked out.

Being kicked out of the tribe meant being on your own in a world filled with wild beasts, Mother Nature, hostile tribes, and other dangers. Chances of survival when flying solo were practically zero.

Do you see why getting other people’s approval was important back then?

But now? Nothing happens when Cindy is jealous when she sees you talking to Stacy. And even if she starts gossiping and Stacy hears horrible stuff about you, you can still meet Susan from that other town.

See where I’m going with this? Not getting people’s approval doesn’t equal death anymore. Meanwhile, you still care just as much about approval. Too much.

The result: you become a product of your environment, because you do and say everything your environment would approve of and you avoid what it doesn’t like.

This KILLS your confidence, because you’re not in control of your own life.

Plus, how you feel and how you feel about yourself is based on other people’s opinions and feelings. Opinions and feelings can change faster than the weather, so your confidence will be very fragile at best.

When you stop caring about how people react, you will regain control over more areas of your life. More control means self-empowerment, and self- empowerment means more confidence.

Here’s more proof, in case you have doubts about whether you should stop caring about what other people think of you:

What’s the most attractive type of guy on the planet for women? The bad boy. What’s the most recognizable trait of the bad boy?

He doesn’t give a f*ck about what other people think.

Hell, when others say or do stuff he doesn’t like he probably punches them in the face… and he goes ahead and does it anyway.

Do you want to be one of the most attractive types of guys on the planet? Yes? Then stop caring dude!

“Yeah but Jack is the most popular guy in town and he says I’m a loser!”

Who cares? There are plenty of other towns and Jack isn’t the master of your universe.

And besides, let’s see if people believe in gossip when you laugh at them when they ask you about a rumor that criticizes you…

Nope, because THEY still care about other people’s approval and change their behavior when they notice it isn’t approved.

Don’t let this be you. Let it be them. Stop fearing criticism and start following your own path, no matter what others say about the path you’re following.

Make your environment a product of you and not the other way around. You can only do that and truly be 100% in control of your life if you refuse to be driven around in life by other people’s opinions, push the driver out the car, and start driving yourself.

I own a drivers license for many years now, but when will you?

This RUINS Your Chances With Women

Now we got worrying about whether or not women or on to you and your sexual interest when you approach them out of the way, it’s time to look at the SERIAL KILLER of your chances with women: the limiting belief.

Limiting beliefs are treacherous little bastards because they creep up on you. You try to start a conversation with a woman in a bar. Result: rejected.

You approach another one. Rejected. You try approaching a woman in the supermarket. No luck. You can’t get her phone number at work. Damn it!

After only a few of these experiences, you STOP thinking there’s something wrong about what you’re doing… and you START thinking that there’s something wrong with who you are.

You attach your self-worth to the desirable outcome, with disastrous consequences: you become cautious, are too careful when taking action, get more poor results because of it… and it reinforces your limiting belief!

You become insecure about the things about yourself you’re the least happy with and insecurities are born, while they really are nothing more than bad assumptions.

Some examples:

– Women are repulsed by me because I’m bald

– Women are repulsed by me because I’m overweight

– Women are repulsed by me because I’m poor

Inside their book Mind Lines, Michael Hall and Bobby Bodenhamer give us a number of questions that FORCE us to reframe the limiting belief and to see it for what it really is: a bad assumption, a load of crap we need to get rid of a.s.a.p. I highly recommend you check it out.

For now, I’ll use the limiting belief above about being bald to show you how these questions work. Afterwards, I want YOU to take a piece of paper and a pen (or open a Word file) to write down your own limiting belief.

There are always 2 components to a limiting belief:
– The action or state of being that causes a negative feeling (example of a state of being: being bald). This is called the external behavior.

– The feeling itself is called the internal state (example: women feel repulsed)

Now let’s take a look at the questions with the being bald example. I answered them to give you an idea of in what direction the questions want to point you.

And when you do this exercise yourself? You fill in your own insecurity. Example: with the Allness example (number one below), you would fill in this as your question if you’re insecure about wearing glasses:

“Do you think every guy with glasses in the history of the planet spent his whole life without finding one woman who likes him?”

And then you answer it.

So, let’s take a look at the reframing questions and example answers if I would be insecure about going bald:

1) Allness – Do you think that every bald guy in the history of the planet spent his whole life without finding one woman who likes him?

“Off course not, duhhh. Even abusive egomaniacs with a drugs problem that are absolutely unfaithful to a woman can get the girl. They’re called rock stars. So why would women dislike me because of a little less hair?”

2) Outcome – what will happen with the amount of success you’ll have when you keep living with this limiting belief? What will your life be like in 10 years? And in 20?

“The amount of success I’ll have if I keep thinking bald men can’t get women will be really low, because I’ll talk myself down, I’ll get insecure even if I get a woman to go out on a date with me. I’ll probably retire and die all alone if I keep believing this.”

3) Reframe the external behavior – some women find bald men to be sexy, so why don’t you shave your head, grow a goatee, and become a chick magnet?

“Now that you mention it, it’s true! Bruce Willis went bald, Eddie Murphy too, John Travolta in that From Paris With Love Movie as well, etc.”

4) Reframe the internal state – it’s not because women don’t like you, it’s that you don’t get their attention the first time around. They don’t care either way (which is a GOOD thing)

“Maybe you’re right… because why would a woman dislike me when she doesn’t even know me?”

5) Counter-example – can you think of a time when a women DID like you? Or can you think of an example of a woman who liked a bald guy?

“Yes! Bruce Willis is an example of a bald guy who got the girl: he got Demi Moore out of it.”

6) Chunk down – how does the exact sequence work where a woman goes from not knowing you… to not liking you because you’re bald, without you having anything to say about it?

“It can’t happen… I will have to say something bad that insults her or do something that’ll ruin her day before a woman will hate me. I decide what I do and say so no, I always have a say about how a woman will think of me.”

7) Model of the world – you have quite an interesting way to give things more meaning than they actually have! Did you know where you got this map for “1 situation of a woman not liking me equals ALL women not liking you”? Did you know that most people don’t walk around with a map like that to torture themselves? Because the map is not the territory, and it never can be exactly like the territory because you would have to make a map as BIG as the territory to include every little detail. And that’s the whole point: a limiting belief is a flawed map of the territory of life..

“You got a point there! There a 3 billion women on the planet, and even if only 10% of those were of my age group (300 million), only 10% of those, in turn, were available (30 million), and of those 30 million only 10% would be my type? I still have 3 million women to choose between all over the planet, and 5 or 10 or 1000 women doesn’t equal all those 3 million women hating my guts. I should stop making a rule out of the exception!”

8) Identity – how interesting that you’re identity is so dependent on behavior. Do you always IDENTIFY people with their behaviors? Do you really think people are their behaviors, while they act differently when they’re mad, when they’re sad, when they’re drunk?

Is someone who becomes aggressive after having too many drinks an aggressive person? Of course not! So don’t identify yourself with your behaviors or other people’s behaviors…

“So what you’re saying is… if she acts pissed off when I approach her, it’s not because I’m bald. It could be because she has a bad hair day, her period, didn’t have much sleep last night, just had a fight with her parents, etc.”

9) Have-to – how would it feel if you stopped considering whether a woman would like what you’re doing or not? What would happen if you stopped caring about that? Would it allow you to feel more comfortable? Would it allow you to be yourself more?

“Yes it would! So I should stop caring less about what women think or say about what I’m doing because it would make me feel more confident and comfortable.”

10) Ecology – how would this belief help other people who are just starting to learn how to meet and date women? Would you recommend them to have this belief installed on their hard drive, because it will allow them to achieve success faster, more comfortably and with positive feelings? Does this belief empower your actions or LIMIT them?

“It doesn’t empower my actions at all; it severely limits them which is exactly why I need to stop believing that women don’t like me because I’m bald!”

Technique #1: now write down your own external behavior and internal state to make your limiting belief, and then go through these 10 reframing questions one by one.

Take your time to do it and you’ll learn a whole lot from it. When possible, get a friend to do this exercise with you because you’ll have different insights on both of your beliefs.

I’ve done this exercise many, many times… once a week I would confront my limiting beliefs one by one until there were none left.

I’ve had amazing and consistent success with women because of having no limits in my life anymore, and so can you if you use these 10 simple reframing questions to improve your own life as well.

No More Fear Of Rejection!

I like where this is going: we kicked some what will they think AND some insecurity but, now it’s time to get down to business and see what the FEAR OF REJECTION and the FEAR OF FAILURE are all about.

They’re two of the last obstacles to overcome if you want to be better at approaching women.

Brian Tracy talked about both of these fears in-depth in his super good book The Psychology of Achievement. I highly recommend you read it.

He talks about how when we are growing up, so during our formative years, the people we look up to the most and who are our be all, end all… are our parents.

Getting their approval, love, and attention is all that matters to us. And mind you, during the formative years we’re highly impressionable so any habit we will be programmed with will stay with us for life.

And one of the most cruel things that can happen to us and which scars us for life is experiencing conditional love: when we obey, when we listen, and when we’re quiet we are loved by our parents…

But when we’re too busy to their taste, don’t listen immediately and don’t obey or don’t obey immediately? Our idols get angry and sometimes even punish us while we don’t really understand what we’re doing wrong and right at that time…

And that’s why we start to fear the WITHDRAWAL of love: we’re scared that we haven’t met the conditions for receiving love and attention, because no parent ever told us that we would be loved no matter what we would do or be… they gave as conditional love instead of unconditional love.

THAT’S where the fear of rejection comes from: it’s the fear that we won’t meet the requirements for being liked or being loved and that we could end up getting hurt because of it.

This negative habit pattern that gets programmed into our minds will slowly but surely make you feel really uncomfortable as soon as you’re not SURE of meeting those requirements to be loved, in fact, it could lead to you feeling unworthy of all love: thinking you’ll NEVER meet the requirements.

It’s the #1 reason for men to never approach a woman, but it’s silly when you think about it. You’re worried about meeting someone else’s requirements, how someone else values you…

And yet you attach your SELF-worth to getting the outcome you want?

How she values you is HER worth, but your self-worth is the value you decide to give to your damn self… she has nothing to do with it, so why let your self-worth suffer from her worth?

Do you also do that with opinions… that if someone else has a different opinion than yours, your opinion automatically sucks?

No? I thought so.

Now you know how ridiculous letting someone else decide your worth really is. We aren’t in the Middle Ages anymore dude, you can’t buy people and ship them to a foreign country anymore… they determine their own value now.

And then there’s the FEAR OF FAILURE… thinking you’ll never get the digits to call her and ask her out on a date.

One of the first things we learn from our parents in our formative years is: “Don’t go there”
“Stop it!”
“Don’t do it, it’s dangerous!”

“Don’t talk to strangers!” And so forth…

In other words: we’re continually warned about possibly dangerous or risky situations and over time this develops into a full blown negative habit pattern…

Meaning that we start to AVOID unknown or new situations altogether because we think their outcomes could be dangerous…

And as such, whenever we DO go right ahead and try something new, try something that we’re not sure about or where the outcome is unpredictable?

We FEAR that we won’t avoid danger and get the outcome that we want… and THAT’S all what the fear of failure is. It’s noticing your acting outside of your Comfort Zone.

Meanwhile the world really does belong to the bold, because failure is not the END of anything, it’s part of the learning process.

Think about it: you make a mistake, correct your course accordingly, you try again, make another mistake, and you correct course until you get it right… so a mistake, or “failure”, is actually FEEDBACK…

Why?

Because the more you fail, the faster you will learn because you can figure out where things went wrong and then correct course faster than everybody else…

Which is exactly why you should try to fail as fast as possible whenever you try to learn something!

Here’s a short example straight from college: remember when you had that important language exam, messed up, saw what you did wrong later on, and never did it wrong again in future exams? There’s your proof right there!

You can use rejection in much the same way: she turned me down because of …? And it’s temptive to think “because I suck” but if you think it’s hard to find your feedback then chunk stuff down just like with reframing…

How was your body language when you walked up to her? How did you say what you said first? What was she doing when you approached her, did you rudely interrupt her during a conversation or was she hanging out in the lounge all bored? Did you need more topics to talk about? Etc.

That’s how I analyzed what I was doing wrong and right with women 5 years ago when I wanted to learn. And be honest about yourself man, because I criticized myself to death and was seeking fault in almost every situation, which made me learn from EVERY situation!

Technique #2: FEEDBACK. Next time after you go clubbing, sit down and chunk down what you did during each conversation and try to give yourself as much feedback as you possibly can. See the sample questions above for ideas. Say your body language totally sucks, then Google for body language and try to learn a thing or two, apply them next time… and do that for all your “weak areas.”

Did your improvements work? With both yes and no, search more about it and you’ll learn more about it.

The results of using this simple technique have been quite amazing for me and I’m sure they’ll BLOW YOU AWAY.

Why?

Because of getting feedback, you’ll learn more from the times you did stuff wrong (a “fail” and a “rejected”) then when you did something right. The result: you’ll attach WAY LESS value to both of these fears because they’re now actually helping you!

Something I myself have used a lot of times as well to STOP caring so much about getting a woman’s number and to START caring more about having fun… is seeing the bigger picture.

What most men do when they think of the outcome they want is: I want to get her phone number, I want to go out on a date with her… and it’ll be all they think about during their conversation with a woman.

They attach massive amounts of value to those outcomes because of it, which makes you put the pressure on your own shoulders. You’ll get tense, anxious and you’ll start hesitating as soon as “the moment of truth” comes closer and closer. And it’s lame.

The Italians have this old saying that goes like this: “aim for the moon while shooting for the stars” and what it means is thinking about every outcome as another stop on your road to success that knows many stops.

When it’s time to get the number, you think about getting the date. You always think about the outcome AFTER this one.

It will make you BELIEVE you already got what you want.

Assuming attraction, so assuming that you already got what you want (that you already have her) means you’ll be more confident, more open, more social, and have more balls when you want to take action… and these qualities are ALL attractive to women.

So by assuming attraction, you actually create it! It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Technique #3: ASSUME ATTRACTION. Don’t think about how to create attraction, think about her number in your pocket. Don’t think about the phone number when you’ve got her interest, think about dating her already.

Don’t think about how to kiss her on the date, but about how she’ll chase you after 3 dates, etc.

Maybe the most important thing to know about rejection is that you need to stop being such an egomaniac. Stop making everything about you, you’re not the center of the world dummy.

Why I’m saying this? Guess what most men do? As soon as a woman says “no” or doesn’t seem to be in the mood, you act like it was because of something you did or are.

In reality, women can have a bad hair day, can have their period, can be flat broke, could be fired today, could just have a fight with one of their girls who just walked away all angry. And sometimes their friends just got them to come along while they didn’t even feel like going out.

And that’s THEIR problem. When you walk away from a woman after a “no”, you usually feel defeated, like a sucker, like your ego or feelings have just been hurt… while it’s HER problem that made her refuse.

So next time a woman rejects you, stop thinking it’s about you and make it her problem. Keep your honor and walk away with your shoulders straight and your head held high after saying:

“I understand, but it’s not my problem. If you don’t mind I’m going to go over there where the fun people are at, you have a great night now okay?”

The result: you won’t feel hurt, or irritated, or desperate, or defeated… because it wasn’t YOUR problem that she wasn’t in the mood, and that makes every time you get rejected sting a lot less than it used to.

Technique #4: KEEP YOUR HONOR and make rejection her problem. Think what could be wrong with her day: bored, broke, bad hair day, has her period, was dragged along by her friends while she didn’t want to go out, her ex just broke up with her, etc.

The fact that she doesn’t want to have fun with you is her problem, SHE’S the boring chick, you’re the cool, fun guy. Walk away after saying it’s her problem, and rejection won’t mean a thing to you.

And now for one of my favorite parts… which is about most guys not even having a freaking clue about what attraction is, let alone about how to create attraction.

Bottom line, if you maintain order and make it your personal mission to make sure everyone (including yourself) is having fun at your party, then this is all you need to get women interested.

Setting the Stage to Funnel Girls into Your Next Party

Being a great host will powerfully draw people to you because you are the facilitator of everyone’s fun. You own the night. This will create a reputation for you. All you have to do now is befriend everyone and make that one girl you want feel special. Get to know her and then escalate the interaction (which we will get into soon).

People will want to come to your future parties if they had a good time. As long as you have plenty of alcohol and follow the steps I’ve outlined in this book, your guests will feel special and will be more than happy to say all sorts of great things about you. With this type of positive feedback, your next party is sure to have more women from just your guests bringing their friends alone.

On top of that, the pictures that you take will end up in your guest’s Facebook albums. This is why I encourage you to take pictures – your presence in all of these pictures is a way for you to advertise how great your parties are without saying a word.

Now, when you add women to your Facebook profile, it will be very apparent that you throw great parties and have a great social life since you’ll be tagged in all of these pictures with multiple women.

After following this method for a period of time, you will not need to do anything to get new girls to come to your party. Sure, you can add some hot girls as friends on Facebook if you want to hand pick some sexy female guests, but overall the girls that come will be through the network that you’ve created. These are the best kinds of guests because they’re coming in already thinking of you as an amazing guy (from your reputation), so hooking up with them is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Encouraging Your Female Guests to Be Naughty

All girls want is a good excuse. This comes down to making it “not her fault that she hooked up”, as society can put negative judgments on a girl’s actions.

Give girls the excuse to be naughty: Girls want an excuse to dress slutty. Girls want an excuse to act slutty. So give the girls an excuse and they will be sure to come to your party in droves once it’s been established that your parties are fun and you’re not a creep.

Use sexual themes once you have developed a solid base clientele. Once you have thrown enough parties to get most of your female guests comfortable with coming over, it’s time to start throwing parties with naughtier themes. Using a sexual theme naturally gives your party a more sexual vibe, especially once everyone is settled in and comfortable. It’s not essential, but it often accelerates your ability to escalate your interactions into the bedroom.

When it comes down to it, after you have thrown a few good parties you will have made a reputation for yourself and you really won’t need to “game” much at all. You have become the valuable man in the situation and girls will gravitate towards you and your high status.

Getting hot women to see you as the popular, fun, high- status guy is the point of throwing repeated house parties. You become the facilitator of fun and girls will associate their fun nights with you. Then your reputation will build and it will do all the work for you in terms of getting women excited about you. After you’ve thrown a few great parties (two or three), you can easily just pull girls to your room just by saying “come on I’ll give you the grand tour.” Remember, they will already be attracted to you, so it is just a matter of getting them comfortable with you and then it’s ON.

Getting them attracted to you will be taken care of, so your focus should be on befriending them and making them comfortable. Once they are comfortable and you begin to connect with them, go for it. You will already have a powerful attraction from them working in your favor and escalation will be easy.

Framing Party Hook-ups

When it comes to actually hooking up with girls at your party (or any party), the biggest factor in the equation is your mind and how you think about hooking up with girls at a party. The way you look at hook-ups will determine your ability to hook-up at your parties.

You will want to look at party hook-ups as light and fun and a way to blow off steam. Not as meaningful or meaning anything about you, about the girl or about anything substantial between you and her (though you can always follow up with the girl). Having a light, carefree attitude about hooking up at the party will make it much more likely to happen since the girl won’t feel any “weight” or “baggage” when she entertains the thought of hooking up with you.

She knows you’ll be cool about it. What do I mean when I say that? I mean that she inherently gets the feeling that you won’t get all emotional or attached, you won’t attach meaning to it, you won’t hurt her reputation or brag about it – this is what I mean by saying you will be cool about it. The best way to give her that vibe is to simply follow through on those things: don’t kiss and tell and keep your emotional reactions to a minimum.

As a host, I would encourage you to look at hooking up with a female guest as a special favor because you really like her and she’s shown herself to be more than just a pretty face. You should think of things in this way because when you do, she is much more likely to think of it this way too. Do it in a genuine, generous way, not an arrogant or cocky way.

On that same token, make her earn hooking up with you. After all, you are a caring, concerned host who wants all his guests to have a great time. If she’s not really energetically pursuing your desire and attention, she’s not returning the value you are worth.

Recognize Your Own Value

Finally, you need to fully recognize how great and valuable you are. Your ability to hook-up at a party (and really in any situation) is proportional to the value that you recognize in yourself. You already are valuable, but you have to truly realize it. I would encourage you to take 5 minutes before every party you throw to reflect on this.

How to Close the Deal with the Girl You Choose

When I throw a party, it is my belief that every single female guest there wants to sleep with me. It does not mean that all of them will be able to, for one reason or another, but the most important factor is my own belief that I can have my choice. Psychotic as it may sound at first, I have drilled this belief into my head to the point where it went from being just a desire into a very pronounced reality.

Still, even before I intentionally reinforced this belief, girls still were interested in me simply because I was the host. In fact, I didn’t realize at first the power that being a host really had until later on down the line.

You will notice that girls will talk to you about one thing or another. They will introduce you to their friends. They will compliment you or, if you’re meeting them for the first time, they will say that they’ve heard about you. When a girl takes the time to speak to you, it’s because she’s interested in you. She doesn’t need to speak to you – she’s choosing to because you strike her as the best choice there.

Be Laid Back – Let Her Seduce You

Now I want to point something out to you that will save you a bunch of heartache if you haven’t yet realized it for yourself. And that is that when a woman shows interest in a guy, most guys will feel like it’s time for them to perform for her as if he were some kind of dancing monkey. Never do this, especially as the host.

Instead when a girl is talking to you, just put your attention on her for the moment. Think good, positive thoughts about her and the idea of having fun with her. This keeps the vibe light and fun. Feel free to tease her a bit (push on where you feel she’s strong) and joke with her. Just keep it light because, in the public space, you want to be perceived as available to all the women.

A Player Reputation Can Help, But Be Classy…

Having a player reputation is absolutely fine, but hooking up in front of everyone will work against you in the long run. Girls will be curious about you if they hear or perceive that you have many women in your life, but they will see you as a “social liability” if you actually hook up in front of everyone (since the perception will be that you will hook up with everything that walks and that, by extension, the women you choose are “little whores”). Best to leave everything to the women’s imagination and have positive perception on your side.

Knowing When a Woman is Interested

Between the alcohol, your hosting position and your laid back attitude, it is only a matter of time before a woman approaches you with a very clear intention to hook up with you. Guys will ask me what to look for to know that a woman wants to hook up. I am telling you right now: When a woman wants to hook up with you, it will be such a green light that people from across the room will be able to tell. Just be laid back, enjoy your party and it will happen.

Sexually Escalating Your Interaction

When you’re talking to a woman, you will have moments where something inside you says to escalate the interaction to a more risky/sexual plane. You may be talking and get the feeling to move in a little closer. You may feel like you should kiss her. You may feel like you should take her hand or even lead her up to your room.

My experience has been that whenever you have that feeling, act on it immediately. Do so smoothly, but don’t hesitate or think about it. If you are nervous about making a move physically with a girl, don’t worry: This is your party so there is no better time to take a risk than at your own party.

To tie it all together, this is why you want to have people handling your party. By having someone watching the door and having good friends to look after your house, you have the ability to take the girl to your room and have fun with her without having to worry about what’s happening in your house.

Remember, when you are getting the feeling from the girl that she wants to hook up, you can and should trust that feeling. Even still, most of the time the girl will want you to give her an excuse to facilitate the seduction. Some lines that my buddies and I have used are:

Hey I’ve got some really good vodka in my room, want to come do a shot with me?

Hey, you want the house tour? [Note: This tour always ends with my room.]

Hey come with me, I want to talk to you but it’s so loud in here.

Hey want to see this book in my room about different cities in Europe? [Note: Use anything you want to show her, as long as it’s in a good location for you and her to hook up.]These are just examples. The point is that you can say just about anything to give her a reason to go with you. This allows her conscience to remain intact since for some girls it feels “slutty” to convey that she actually intends to hook up with you. With an excuse, she feels she has plausible deniability. That is to say that she feels she can later say, “Oh, I didn’t intend hook up. It just happened…”

A Closing Note on Succeeding with Women Through Parties.
I know some of you guys will be reading this chapter and saying, “Wait, that’s it? I thought you were going to teach a whole bunch of sophisticated techniques to get women to have sex with me?”

There is so much material out there now about tricks and tactics to pick up women that I think men are beginning to think using that stuff only way to be successful with women in a consistent or powerful way. Meanwhile, the obvious eludes them.

This book is about actually providing real value to others in a way that naturally makes you extremely attractive. By following this path, you are not convincing or tricking women into thinking you are a great guy… you are actually being the great guy. Just because the path isn’t super glamorous or flashy does not mean that it’s not extremely powerful.

At the same time, for those who love technique, there is plenty more fun stuff to come. I just wanted to make this note so that you recognize what we’re aiming for here. Why try to create an illusion when you can much more easily be the genuine article?

There are many popular books and programs discussing how to pick-up women by presenting yourself in an attractive way. Many of the schools of thought today advocate conveying that you are a man of high value and that you are not all that impressed with her beauty. Some schools of thought have concepts like giving a “negative compliment” or “demonstrating high value” to kick start different stages of the attraction process.

And while all of these ideas have their power and place, we are shooting for something different. We are aiming at actually creating real social value and making you a rare, valuable person. Over the course of time, as you throw more and more parties, you really will be that valuable person to a large social circle. Instead of creating the veneer of value and attractiveness, why not actually BE that person by building real social equity?

Parties are the avenue we will be exploring in this post to build social equity. That does not mean that parties are the only way, but hosting parties is a great way to illustrate the idea of building social equity because:

 Parties give you an opportunity to showcase yourself without any particular talent.

 Parties are on your terms.

 Parties put you in the leader position and naturally let

you be the rock star.

 Parties are a way where you can create your own social

position, your own rules and your own value.

 Parties make you a host, which makes you attractive in

many different ways (which we’ll get into later).

 Parties give people value.

Later in the post, I will talk about how to maximize your effectiveness at parties that you are not hosting. Why do I choose to wait until much later in the book to discuss this?

Well, first, I want you to have an appreciation for everything it is to be a party host. Hosting a party is loaded with benefits and responsibilities. When you really recognize what it is to host a party, it will change your perspective on the party scene in general. Hosts, who may or may not necessarily know you yet, will feel more at ease with having you at their parties because they will feel your understanding and respect. You will also have an understanding of all these things that are working in favor of the people throwing the parties. With this knowledge, you’ll see how valuable it is to align yourself with the hosts of other parties to maximize your choices and effectiveness.

Throwing a good party is all about prep work. It is the most time consuming and demanding part, but your efforts will pay off ten-fold once you get into the groove of throwing parties. With every party you throw, the setup will get easier and faster.

So in the first part of this book, we will be talking about very basic logistics. Basic, but of crucial importance. Our initial intent will be to find a place suitable for throwing excellent parties.

For example, if you live in a studio apartment surrounded by crazy old women who hate you, you might want to consider another venue for the party. On the other hand, if you have a buddy who has a house on a hill and virtually no neighbors near the house, you’ve got yourself a good bet.

We’re going to cover choosing the venue and what is worth taking into consideration.

And then there’s the question of how you’re going to fill your party with the women you want. How are you going to fill your party with hot girls if you don’t know any of these hot girls? Where are these women going to come from?

Getting the women to come to the party is the most important part – it’s why you bought this book! So I will go into great depth as to how you will get hot women to come to your party. It’s actually quite simple, but most guys don’t do it! I will show you all sorts of clever ways to get hot women to come and keep coming back.

So great, you have a party with hot women. But there are things you absolutely must make sure you do to ensure that you actually get to enjoy your own party. I have made the mistake of not doing some specific things when throwing my parties and it resulted in all of my guests having a great time while I was running around working the entire evening. Bad situation – I am going to show you how to have a great time at your own party and have everyone gladly do the “grunt work”.

And then there’s the matter of getting laid. My favorite part! Hosting a party is great, but you want to make sure that as the host you get first pick of all of the hot women that show up. In fact, I am going to show you how to be a host that can sleep with all of his female guests and have them loving you! Threesomes, fuck buddies, orgies… all possible once you follow the advice laid out in this book.

There are certainly bonuses too. I mean, after throwing a couple of great parties, you’ll have a whole new social circle available to you. Guys will love you for the value you’re offering them. Women will look at you like a rock star and brag about their hook-ups with you!

This is the reality that we are going to create. Let’s begin.

Choosing Your Party Location

Before you can have the party, you will need to choose the location where you will host it.

We want to make some considerations at the beginning as to where to throw the party, as this will determine the limitations and freedoms you and your guests will have at the party.

Good Relationships with the Neighbors

This is really important, so I listed it first. You absolutely want to make sure that you choose a location that is on good terms with the neighbors. If you do not know the neighbors, the best thing you can do as introduce yourself and politely let them know that you will be having people over. Be really respectful, charming and polite. Let them know that you will have everything under control and you wanted to make sure they knew you had them in mind as well. Tell them that if there is any disturbance at all, they can call you and you will immediately take care of it.

If you make this connection ahead of time, the neighbors will think you are nice and respectful and probably will just ignore the party. Worst case scenario, they may call you to ask you to calm it down, but that is not a bad scenario. Much better than them calling the cops because they don’t know you and therefore think you are a disrespectful punk.

If the neighbors are your age and seem like good people, give them an invite. Chances are they will throw a party in the future and they will welcome you to it. Nice bonus.

Choose a House with Large Open Spaces

People will congregate around wherever the alcohol is. If it’s in the kitchen, people will hang around there. If it’s in the basement, people will be down there. You want to pick a house with a large open space where people hang around after they have their drink, since they won’t go far from where the liquor is, generally speaking.

If you have a house with a yard and the weather permits, you could even throw a party outside. Not every part of the country is warm enough to do this, though, and rain is certainly a risk. However, a party outside is better than no party at all, definitely.

Choose a Place with Minimal Breakable Items

When throwing a party, things have a much higher tendency to get broken. Therefore, if you have a house with high- priced electronics or expensive decor, you will need to move these items somewhere else or you run a risk of them being destroyed. Moving these items takes time and effort, so you’re best off choosing a place that doesn’t have a ton of expensive, breakable stuff.

Since it’s going to be dark in whatever venue you throw the party in, you really don’t have to be too concerned with how fancy the place is. There are a ton of parties packed with college students thrown in dingy basements all the time – as long as you have a bunch of space and alcohol, you meet the requirements.

Choose a Place That is Accessible

Listen, people want to come to your party, get absolutely “blitzed” and then be able to make it home. As the host, you want to do your best to accommodate this desire.

Don’t throw your party out in the middle of nowhere unless you have a group of really committed friends who plan on spending the night. For our purposes, you want to throw the party in a place that is extremely accessible – by car, by taxi, by public transportation, etc. Make it easy for people to get there and back to where they live.

Making Connections For an Incredible Party

This portion of setting up your parties will take time to create and manage, but as with anything, it will be worth it.

This chapter will give you an overview of how to get the people you desire to come to your party.

At first, our strategy will be to make as many connections as possible, as quickly as possible. Later, in Chapter 10, I will discuss trimming your guest list down to only the best people.

Methods of Building a Guest List

Primary Method: Social Networking via Internet

In the old days, before social networking came onto the Internet scene, people learned about parties by their reputation through friends. People were more group-centric and tended not to venture that far outside of their cliques. The only way that someone would check out a random party would be if their friends gave them a high recommendation or if a party just had a great reputation. These days we can bypass creating a reputation and instead create the appearance of a great reputation out of thin air!

Most people these days belong to at least Facebook and/or Myspace. If you do not have an account on either of these sites, you MUST get on them. You must! There are tons and tons of very attractive young women who secretly use Myspace and Facebook to discretely meet and hook up with men, but would never bring themselves to formally join an “online dating service”.

Building a Guest List from Scratch.

Facebook is the best way and can be used to organize an event and create a guest list.

Our first objective is to create a pool of potential guests to your party. The best way to do this is by adding a massive amount of girls in your area to your friends list. Just search on Facebook in your area and add as many as you can.

Remember these are complete strangers, but most of these people are dying to meet new people. This is especially true if you live near a college or if you are in college.

Add 25 girls a day to you profile. Remember that many of these girls won’t come, so you need to add tons in this beginning stage. After adding a ton of girls, you are bound to start adding their friends, so they will think that you already know them or have some affiliation with their social circle at least. Once you create your party event and guest list, the girls will see the list and assume that you know all the girls already and think, “This guy is probably cool, he seems to know my friends… maybe I met him at some point,” and she will be much more likely to come to your party.

When adding new people, I have found that about 1 out of every 100 girls will message me asking if they know me. You can either ignore them or tell them that you think you met her at some place. Bottom line, at this stage you are in it for the numbers, so it really doesn’t matter.

Continue to build your online social network every day for at least a month (and afterward, whenever you feel like it).

The more girls you have, the better.

Meeting Women Everywhere and Inviting Them

Once you’ve made up your mind that you’re going to have a party, you might as well invite every hot girl you can meet in your day-to-day life to the party. The worst that could happen is the girl says “no” and you never see her again.

Before I really had momentum behind this whole party lifestyle, I would establish the Facebook event first and wait to see that a good number of people confirmed. After it was definite that I would be having the party, I would start chatting with hot women and inviting them to my party.

These days, I know that if I say a party will happen on a certain date, everyone will show up. Even if it’s raining, snowing, really hot, really cold, etc. In time, you will have that sort of loyalty with your guests and they will show up no matter what the conditions are for your parties.

For that reason, I will typically start inviting hot girls I meet within one week of when I think the party is happening. I will just strike up a friendly conversation with the woman and then at a high point in the conversation (like when she’s laughing at something I said or expressing interest in something about me), I will just throw out something like, “You know what? You should come to my party next Saturday.” Then I’ll drop the subject until the end of the conversation or until she picks it up and starts asking about it. It’s an easy transition into exchanging information at that point and you can let your party do all the gaming for you.

Women Travel in Packs

Don’t be afraid to invite her and her friends to your party. Women do not travel alone, they travel with their group – safety is essential to women when they’re going out, especially to meet a man or men they do not yet know well. Generally speaking, hot women will bring good people to your party.

Inviting Women to Parties as a Method

Now inviting women to my parties isn’t my only way of meeting women or getting their numbers. I am just highlighting that this is a viable way to meet women with a totally friendly, cool vibe and get their number without having to “game” them or do a bunch of tricks and tactics.

Take note that meeting women through inviting them through parties is quite effective and some guys use this method as their exclusive way to meet and seduce women. Quite successfully, I might add.

In future chapters, we will get into how hosting your own party can be used to your massive advantage in getting women to want you.

The Invitation: Getting Hot Women to Come to Your Party

Now that you have a whole list of women you find attractive, it’s time to pitch your offer: the invitation.

In this section, I want to talk to you about different elements that come into play when creating an invitation. The manner in which you invite the people will determine the results you get.

Again, you need to have a profile that puts you in the best possible light. You don’t need to be conventionally attractive, but you do have to appear fun and social.

People who don’t know you are going to see your invitation and think, “Party… I like parties… who’s this guy?” Then they’ll click your profile and as long as your profile puts you in a good light, most of them will come.

You might say, “Really? That easy?” Yes, it is. Most people are bored with their routine and are dying to try something new and meet new people. Multiply that by the feeling that this is a BIG party that EVERYONE is going to and they’ll feel like losers if they don’t go.

Part I: Enticing People to Come to Your Party

There’s a right way to go about inviting people and a wrong way. In terms of an invitation, we want to take some logistical points into consideration as well as some presentation points. Sure, this may seem a little bit like overkill in terms of preparation work, but this book is about maximizing your effectiveness. And speaking to you from the voice of experience, you definitely do not want to half- ass your invitations or you’re in for a pretty sad party.

Considerations for Getting Maximum Guests

Timing

Timing of the event is important. If you want a large party, hold them on the weekends. Obvious enough. My experience has been that people will be more apt to come to a party on Saturdays than on Fridays. After a long work week or week of studying at school, it’s much harder to get people out on Fridays. Plus, people generally make plans for their Fridays in advance and have open Saturday nights.

On invitations, I start my parties at 10:30 PM and expect that the guests will actually start pouring in around 11:15 PM. My experience has been that the majority of your guests will show up 45 to 60 minutes after the official “start time” for your party, so keep that in mind.

Advance Notice

Let people know several days before you throw your party. If you want to secure their Saturday night, you need to send out invites that Monday. My experience is that Monday is the best day to announce the party since announcing it any earlier runs the risk of the guests forgetting about your party (they’re not thinking about the next weekend yet) and announcing it later runs the risk of your guests already having plans.

How to Predict How Many Will Show Up

The next part is really about getting people to the event. A good way to gauge the amount of people that will show up is to figure half the guests that have confirmed and half of the guests that have responded with a “maybe” will actually show up. I have used this formula countless times when throwing a party and it has been pretty accurate every time.

Themes

Themes are a great way to get girls to come to your party. Here are some reasons why themes are great:

 Themes get people talking. They make your party different from “just another party”.

 Themes give girls an excuse to dress slutty, which they secretly love to do.

 Themes invest people in your party. It takes planning to come to a theme party and planning equals investment, which equals commitment.

In Chapter 6, I go into great detail about different themes you can use to your advantage in your party.

Part II: Presenting the Invitation Itself

Creating an Irresistible Image

Every party must have a good image. The name of the game is excitement: You want people to be excited about your party.

When creating an event invitation on Facebook, for example, you will do things such as use pictures of hot women partying or participating in the theme of your party, then include enticing descriptions and good directions. The key will be that your party will look so novel and enticing that even women you don’t know will show up just to check it out. After all, from the perception you’ll create, they’ll think you’re the most popular guy in town!

Plus, you’ll get a really good idea of how successful your party will be before you even throw it. I would suggest doing a test run to gauge everything with a public event, where your focus is simply getting a ton of people over and then moving on to trimming the fat and perfecting your clientele (we will discuss this later).

Pictures
Pictures are key. If you are going for a particular theme, I suggest adding pictures within that theme to your Facebook event as a way to build your party’s image and encourage people to come. This will give them the idea that you have done this before and it’s going to kick ass.

For example, if you were throwing a “Pimps and Ho’s” party, you would want to find pictures of guys dressed as “pimps” and girls dressed really provocatively.

Where to Find Pictures
To find these pictures, I suggest searching Google images and downloading good images to a folder on your desktop.

To do this search, click on the “Images” section along on the top menu at Google.com and type in a phrase like “hot girls party” or “party” and run the search. If you are searching for a certain party theme, include this in your search, such as “pimps and hos party”.

Other great sites to search for images are: flickr.com, photobucket.com and random people’s Myspace and Facebook profiles.

Once you’ve collected about ten to fifteen images, choose five of the best ones and upload them to your event.

Types of Images to Use
The best kinds of images show hot women, but do NOT look professional. You want it to look like the type of picture you’d see on someone’s Myspace or Facebook profile. You want it to look as if you snapped this photo at one of your own parties.

Remember, hot girls want to go to parties that they see hot girls going to. Guys want to go to parties they see hot girls going to. But nobody wants to go to a party where they just see a bunch of guys. Avoid sausage-fest imagery and make your images “girl-centric”.

Another type of great image to use is from popular culture, such as movies or celebrities. For example, using images from the movie “Old School” or “Animal House” would be a nice touch to throw in. One or two pop-culture pictures maximum.

Descriptions
A solid description is another great way to get people excited. Your tone should be like the “life of the party”: carefree, fun-loving and exciting. You can and should boldly claim that this is the best party out there.

Make sure you tell everyone the amount you are charging and that you will be providing “a ton” of alcohol. Be specific about having enough beer and having plenty of liquor/jungle juice for girls. In future events, I would even go so far as to tell the guys that if they show up as a big group of drunken guys, they will not be let it.

If you are running a door staff (see Chapter 7), you should include this in the invitation. It will make the girls feel more safe and apt to come.

Directions

This is key: Facebook can be set up with a link to Google Maps for easy access, so people can see the directions to your party easily.

I just enter my address into Google Maps (http://maps.google.com) and once it comes up, there’s a button in the upper right corner of the map labeled “Link”. You simply copy the contents of that link into your party description and your potential guests will be able to click the link and see exactly where your party is on the map.

Also, I highly encourage you add your phone number so that people can contact you if they get lost.

Getting Your Guests to Invest

Remember earlier how I said themes are good because it requires your guests to plan and invest energy towards your party? Well this is a great principle in general! If your guests feel like they’ve put some kind of effort or energy into planning to be at your party, it is much less likely that they will blow it off since they wouldn’t want their investment

(be it a costume, a present, a contribution, etc.) to go to waste.

Tip: In the back of your mind, think of ways to get guests to invest in your party so they feel the party is a reward for their efforts, not just another option.

Logistics: Planning the Party Itself

This part of the book is going to focus on the logistics of executing the party itself. Listen, I want to really make something clear: Logistics are EVERYTHING in executing a great party.

I know that talking about logistics is nowhere near as exciting as talking about picking up women, but this is really a very valuable section. Why? It’s valuable because bad logistics can flush a lot of good work down the drain. Seriously – you can have a great guest list, great response rate and even a great turn-out and have it all vanish within a moment’s notice by poorly executing the party logistics.

So heed these words well and you’ll never have to worry about your party being a bust.

Part I: Alcohol

Having enough alcohol for the party is a must. I have seen countless parties evaporate within a couple minutes the moment that the alcohol is gone. I am not kidding – one minute the house is packed, two minutes later it is empty. It has happened that fast.

Fortunately, I learned the lesson early on to stock up heavily on alcohol when it comes to throwing parties. It is far better to have too much liquor and beer than to have too little.

Now while you want to have a lot of liquor and beer, you don’t want to spend too much money on it. I charge $5 at the door. I hate having to do it, but it allows me to afford the alcohol and pay whoever is watching the door and bouncing (which we’ll talk about later).

Let’s talk about some things to do and things to avoid doing when it comes to purchasing liquor for the party.

Jungle Juice: Definitely have “jungle juice” or punch at your party. Some girls refuse to drink beer, so it’s a huge plus to have something that they’ll actually enjoy. Which brings me to my next note…

Fill up the jungle juice gradually throughout the night: Introduce your hard liquor gradually. When it comes to punch, I learned that it is a much better idea to mix up batches of jungle juice throughout the night instead of making one huge batch at the beginning.

This is because people will practically attack the jungle juice at the beginning no matter how drunk they already are. Jungle juice gets drained very quickly. For that reason, it is much better to make a batch at the beginning and then mix up another batch an hour later, then another batch an hour later.

This gives people a chance to drink gradually rather than binge on hard liquor. That means less of a chance that people will make themselves sick by drinking too much, too fast. And since jungle juice is more expensive than beer, it will ensure that the people are drinking the beer throughout the night, instead of hitting the punch hard in the beginning, draining it and then moving on to beer.

Plus, for the girls that absolutely refuse to drink beer (snotty, I know), it will keep them from leaving if they know that more jungle juice will be mixed up, soon as you get to it. I have used the promise of “making more jungle juice soon” to stretch out the party much longer and keep all the guests.

Tip: As a general rule, guests are more likely to stay when they believe that something great is going to happen in the near future. Nobody wants to miss out. Think of ways that you can use that principle to keep guests staying longer at your parties.

Place your alcohol wisely: Pay attention to where you are putting your liquor / beer / kegs / coolers, etc. Remember, people will generally congregate near the alcohol. It’s just something that people do. So make sure you put the alcohol near where you want people to be.

And make sure the alcohol is accessible – people will drink what is most accessible and visible to them. I remember one party where I had a vat of jungle juice in the entry room and the keg in the back. Everyone ravished the jungle juice and within 5 minutes a half-cooler full of jungle juice was drained completely. Not even the die-hard beer drinkers hit the kegs since the jungle juice was the first thing they saw. Nowadays I put the cooler of juice on one side of the room and the keg on the other. This arrangement works out much better; beer-drinkers go to the keg, non-beer-drinkers hit the juice.

Always have more than enough alcohol: Overstock your alcohol. I’ll go into my guidelines for how much liquor and beer to stock later in this section.

Remember that alcohol is the ultimate excuse for people:

There’s a truth about people: People are always looking for excuses and justifications to act how they really want to act and do what they really want to do. I call this excuse theory and I visit this idea throughout the book.

Because alcohol is seen as the ultimate excuse, people equate the presence of alcohol with the presence of fun and freedom. As long as there is alcohol in the vicinity, there is a possibility that someone will do something worth seeing, talking about, experiencing, etc. But beyond that, as long as there is alcohol, there is the possibility that the guests themselves can act how they want and blame alcohol for it.

This is essential: If you run out of alcohol, everyone will leave your party. I’m telling you – if you run out, your guests will run out of your house. It doesn’t matter if every single one of your guests is drunker than they’ve ever been. If your party goes dry, people will think it’s “all downhill from this point” and they will leave immediately. It’s funny, but when it comes to parties, people really do have a herd mentality.

So no matter what, you have to make sure that you have more than enough liquor. I always have a backup supply of liquor and beer just in case I run out. People need to know that there’s more liquor and beer because in their minds it means that there is still more fun to have.

Guard your keg tap: Make sure you hide your keg tap the moment your keg runs out. Unfortunately, you’ll occasionally have a guest that will steal anything they can if they can get away with it. I didn’t think that a person would steal the keg tap, but it happened. Bye-bye $40 keg tap deposit. So now I always make sure that when the keg runs out, someone grabs the tap and puts it somewhere outside of where the guests have access.

Have your own stash of liquor for your “private party”:

Sometimes you’ll want to isolate a girl or a group of girls to your own space. In this case, you should have your own private stock of good liquor so you can enjoy it with those girls. Really this is just a gimmick – it gives girls the excuse to come up to your room without feeling as though they’re coming up to hook up. Again, girls like excuses since it absolves them from being a slut. After all, they were just joining you because you have good liquor in your room, right?

Avoid cheap vodka: I repeat, avoid cheap vodka. Buy mid- grade vodka – if you have any questions about what’s a decent vodka, ask the people working at the liquor store. Cheap vodka is terrible for a party. Sure, you save $5 on a handle (a 1.75 liter bottle), but you will inevitably have guests puking later on. Nothing kills your chances to score with a girl faster than having one of her friends puking in your bathroom… or worse, her puking on you!

In fact, I would say avoid all types of the cheapest forms of liquor. You can always find good mid-level liquor for only slightly more money.

Avoid mixing hard liquors: Generally speaking, if you mix different liquors in a punch, it is far more likely that your guests will get sick and it is far more likely that it will give everyone a terrible hangover. If you’re making punch with vodka, stick to mainly vodka. If you want to throw in a bottle of Apple and Watermelon Puckers for flavor, it’s not a big deal. What I’m talking about here is to avoid mixing up jungle juice with rum, vodka, tequila and gin, etc. That almost guarantees a barf-fest and it’s just stupid.

I make it a rule for myself to stick to one type of liquor throughout the evening – if I’m drinking rum, I stick to rum. If I’m drinking vodka, I stick to vodka. When I follow this rule, I don’t get a hangover. When I break this rule, I usually do get a hangover and sometimes I even get sick. So speaking from experience, avoid it.

Part II: Buying Liquor and Beer the Smart Way

As I said before, you want to make sure you have more than enough alcohol. And you also want to make sure that you do it in the most economical way possible.

First, let’s talk about keg beer. The advantage of buying a keg is that you get a ton of beer for the cheapest price. The disadvantage is that you have to drink all of that beer that night or it’s going to go bad. So you want to make sure there will be enough people at your party to drink all of the keg beer. I’ve seen cheap kegs of crappy beer available for $40, but I generally aim to spend $50-$55 per keg and get something decent like Bud Light or Coors Light. Remember that there are deposits on kegs ($40 is a standard deposit for a keg barrel) and if you don’t own a keg tap, most places will let you borrow one with a $40 deposit as well.

Then there are beer balls (also known as beer spheres). A beer ball holds roughly 55 cans worth of beer and is generally cheaper than buying that amount of beer in cans. With that said, you do need a beer ball tap and, like the keg, you need to make sure everyone drinks all the beer in it or it will go bad. Still, because it is smaller than a keg, you can save an unopened ball if it’s left over.

Finally, there’s straight up cans of beer. Cans of beer are great because any leftover cans can be saved for the next party. However, buying beer in cans is the most expensive way to go and it’s a pain in the ass to pick up all the empty beer cans at the end of the night.

As far as beer goes, you are going to have to make an estimation of how much beer everyone will drink. Here are the figures I use when it comes to purchasing beer and liquor:

Once the party is in motion, you don’t want to be distracted by protecting your house and belongings. In this section, we’re going to talk about preparations you should make so that you don’t have to worry during the party.

At the very least, you should make sure you do the following for every party:

 Container for cigarette butts: At any party, especially at a party where people are drinking, people are going to smoke cigarettes. And where there are smokers, there will be cigarette butts. It’s best to put out at least one container for people to put their cigarettes in. Not everyone will use it, but if you have a container available to smokers you’ll at least cut down on the amount of cigarette butts you’ll need to pick up later. Just make sure you put a little bit of water in the container to douse the cigarettes.

 Lock up your valuables: Whenever you throw a party, it’s important to lock up anything that you don’t want stolen. You can’t keep track of everyone all the time, nor would you want to. Some things to make sure you hide:

 Cover your surfaces – You can expect that if there’s a flat surface in your house, a drink will end up on it. One particular surface comes to mind for me as I write about this: I lived in an apartment with a Steinway grand piano in it. By the middle of the party, I would guess there were about 50 cups on the thing. My advice is that you cover any surface that is important to you. Punch has a tendency to stain surfaces, so keep that in mind in the area where you have it. It also doesn’t hurt to have some good surface cleaner on hand in case anything does get stained.

Part IV: Setting the Mood – Music and Lights

Now it’s time to set the ambience. It is amazing the effect that lighting and music has on guests at the party. Let’s get right into how to set the mood perfectly for the ideal party situation.

Lighting = Magic

When it comes to lighting, you want it to be dim. When the lighting is dim, people feel less self-conscious. They are more likely to loosen up and have a good time because they feel like they are not “in the spotlight” (literally).

From a psychological standpoint, dim lighting causes people to dilate their pupils. Dilated pupils are a sign of attraction, so it actually causes your guests to feel a higher degree of attraction to the person they are looking at because they unconsciously will pick up this “indicator of interest” and reflect it back.

I highly recommend liberal use of “Christmas lights” to create an excellent dim lighting effect. If you find the appearance of Christmas lights tacky, you can still use them for the lighting effect, but hide them behind something so the actual stream of lights is not seen, but only the glow.

Music: Being an Intelligent DJ

I’ve had people offer to DJ my parties for a fee. I could not think of a bigger waste of money! My MP3 player on shuffle does a fantastic job – why would I pay someone to do what my player does for free?

You can be a fantastic DJ too. Just follow these rules and everyone will love your playlist.

The music you play should be:

 Upbeat. Nothing slow – ever.

 A mix of modern popular songs and old songs.

People love old songs that everyone knows. If it’s a song that people know enough to sing along to, that’s a good song to pick.

 Lowest common denominator. Put on the songs that the most people will know and at least like, not obscure ones that some will hate and some will like.

 Positive, light and fun. Never ever any angry or depressing music.

 Appealing to your audience. Put on the music that your “type” of girl likes – doesn’t mean it’s necessarily what you like, but who cares. Party music is to entertain your guests. I mean, I have heard “Pour Some Sugar on Me” and “Summer of ‘69” enough for one lifetime, but the girls always love it so it’s always in the mix. You can play what you like when you’re one-on-one with her.

 Don’t let anyone touch the music. This is just a precaution to make sure nobody steals your MP3 player. I bought a relatively cheap MP3 player to use for parties – I think this reduces chances of people stealing it. Regardless, be mindful of anyone messing with the music since it could be someone attempting to pocket the thing. Make sure your friends know to look out for your player too and you’ll be fine.