1. Writing off your opponents' tactical superiority to Pocket Fritz. 2. The chessplayers' Kama Sutra: 1001 ways to mate. 3. Regular people still think chessplayers must be smart. 4. Computers not as good at trash talk as tactics. 5. Best free chess publicity: Pepperidge farm Chessmen Butter cookies 6. 50% of all major chess tournaments unmarred by scandal. 7. If you go "on tilt" on the ICC, you'll still be able to pay rent. 8. Your chess rating can't go lower than your IQ. 9. Celebrity chess spokeperson went from "Screech" to Carmen Kass. 10. We got through this entire list without any restroom jokes.