Behind closed doors.

I have been on a reading spree, of late; just finished reading my second book from among the trio I bought last Sunday – ‘I let you go‘, by Clare Mackintosh. A psychological thriller, it was the kind of unputdownable books I prefer to read. I finished it in about two days; it could have taken me even less time had there not been any other work needing my attention!

The book begins with a hit and run case, but gradually emerges to be the tragic story of the heroine fleeing her miserable life as a victim of domestic violence. The writing is bold, in that the scenes depicting the violence inflicted by the husband are graphic. It does need a lot of strength and willpower to read about the acts of violence endured by the poor woman at the hands of her beastly husband. I shuddered as I read those scenes. The kind of psychological control men can have over their women is ghastly, terrifying. One only needs to imagine with a sense of horror the kind of physical abuse the women must be experiencing.

There are a countless women in our midst who are victims of domestic violence. Not many among those will ever speak about it in their entire lives. Dying a hundred deaths everyday, they put up a smile to ensure their appalling truths never get exposed for fear of incurring the wrath of their demonic husbands. Concealing their wounds – both, physical and psychological – they go about their lives, mechanically, putting up a charade of normalcy for their families who dote upon them. Living in a perpetual state of fear of their husbands – the evil incarnates – they live a life of servitude.

It’s human nature to pass judgements on people we come across in our day to day lives without pausing to reflect upon the lives they must lead. That woman from our apartment complex who hardly mingles with others; the colleague who appears perennially terrified; the friend who gives excuses galore for not attending our parties – do we ever wonder what the reason behind their behaviour might be? All we do is label them ‘reserved’, ‘cold’, ‘snooty’, even, without pondering over the kind of lives they must lead behind closed doors.

There are organisations that help such victims, but rarely do the victims have the resources or the courage to file a complaint against their abusers. They not only fear the repercussions of their actions, but also find it difficult to trust the law. They know it’s a man’s world out there, akin to the one within the four walls of their homes. It’s hell they pay for speaking one word against their men; they can very well imagine the outcome of filing a formal complaint against their tormentors.

My heart goes out to these women, for the atrocities they face all their lives. And, yet, I feel helpless, for nothing I say, or, nothing we say, will ever give them the motivation, the strength to step out of the hell they live in. Bogged down by worries about where do they go?/ how do they support themselves?/ will their parents stand by their side? they suffer in silence. And, even if they do muster the strength to move out of the hell hole, they have that nagging fear – will the men they leave behind ever allow them to live in peace? They never know what kind of revenge would await them!

If any of you are acquainted with such a victim of domestic violence, do extend your hand for support. It will take a lot of energy to fight for their cause, but it will be a fight worth it. Freedom, as we say, is our birthright, therefore, no one, not a single soul has any right to take it away from us. It’s we women who ought to stand by each other, for it could have been our close ones suffering what those others are going through! Do think over it.Love,SHILPA…

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Published by writershilpa

Do you know the secret to living a happy life?
Eat. Pray. Love.
Or, watch what you eat, wish well for all and fill your heart with love!
That's precisely what I try to do through my blogs: 'Metanoia', the wellness blogazine, and 'The S Word', my blog for essays on life.
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I know at least two women, possibly more. I first knew them after they escaped their situations. One literally had to live in her car for a brief time, and took nothing from her marriage but her clothes. It can happen to any of us. Don't think that it can't.

Oh, this resonates with me personally — as you know, my friend… It can not be said enough times… we should always listen, See, be there, help our sisters who suffers… and more than anything: dare to ask: Are you OK?, and not taking Yes, for an answer… Sisterhoos forever and ever.. Very well written post dear Shilpa- sending big hugs and lots of love. XXX

DV is so very common and how sad it is that some of them are abused all their lives due to their situations, emotional and psychological make-up and fear of social isolation. Have added I Let You Go in my TBR list. Thanks for sharing about it!

I know, Eli. I have a fair idea what you have been through. But, I am so happy for you that you escaped it all and are today in a happy space. And, you are so right – we ought to be there for our sisters, with them through the tough times. WHo else do they have to depend on?Love and hugs to you, too, my dear! ❤

If this book is unputdownable… I have to pick it up…. On domestic violence,yes it's sad indeed. And I always consider mental abuse as Bing a part of domestic violence. Women across society suffer in silence, being constantly nagged and harassed verbally too… It's time they spoke up and walked out of it.

Mental and emotional abuse also form a part of domestic abuse that so many go through, and for no fault of theirs! Sad, indeed. I wish they spoke up sooner and found a release from the hell holes they live in.

I think you will enjoy reading Picture Perfect by Jodi Picoult. It's the similar plot line, and unputdownable. It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover begins with a romance story, and turns into story of ugly domestic violence in the near end.

My prayers reach out to the victims of these violences, and hope that they find the strength and support they need soon enough.

Thought-provoking Shilpa. As humans we have mastered the art of judging others, particularly women and put labels that suit us. It’s a shame when we see men with their false sense of pride and inflated ego to aggress women. Cowards! It’s so tough for women lacking independence but also facing emotional blackmail or stupid society rules that control lives.

Very true, Vishal. It’s such a sad state they find themselves in! The right way to help them will be to stop judging them and lend a helping hand to pull them out of their sad situation. All we need to do, is change the way we look at people, and develop some empathy.

Inspiring change.

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

About me

Hi! I am Shilpa, the quintessential Gemini living in the city of dreams, Mumbai. Writing was a secret fantasy that became a reality with this blog. When I am not busy writing, my books and my art keep me company. My writing partners are my pets who offer me precious insights into Life and are a constant source of inspiration to me.
So, do get comfy, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your visit. Your presence here means a lot to me, you know?

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