Jerry Hayes

The Huhne trial could have some very interesting repercussions. If a Tory by election candidate can give a clear election commitment not to wank himself to death they could be in with a shout

1 Feb 2013 at 12:50

This has not been a good week for politics or politicians. Both the Lib Dems and Labour were committed to more equal constituency boundaries and for the most venal, partisan and odious reasons they cast whatever principles they might have possessed into the poisoned well of opportunism.

Then the anti gay marriage brigade demand that in return for a sensible reform of the law which is popular amongst the majority of voters but are sending the Tory Taliban into wild eyed frothings of rage, there should be better tax breaks for married couples. But doesn’t that also include same sex marriages too? Sometimes I wish that I was a psychiatrist. But only so I could commit some of this lot to places of safety with lashings of liquid cosh.

And just as we thought that there had been rapprochement between the bothers grim Ed’s lot have been briefing against David. It appears Ed didn’t want to rule out a referendum on the EU at all. Oh, no. It was all the fault of the King Across the Water. It is no wonder the electorate regard our great tribunes of the people as an absolute shower.

However, there was a little light relief. Just to prove that the Kippers are in touch with the pulse of the nation some young lad who was once the head of their youth wing writes a piece positing that having sex with dead people may not such be a bad idea. Rather a messy position to take I would have thought.

But Farage has not had the wooden stake successfully pushed though his heart just yet. And if the Huhne trial goes seriously tits up and there has to be a by election in Eastleigh there could be some surprises. With the Lib Dems flatlining, the Tories, providing they can produce a candidate that can give a clear election commitment that he will not wank himself to death, are in with a shout. Just remember that Farage stood as a candidate there way back. This could be very interesting.

It is time for Sir George to start cracking a few bones. These daft leadership challenge stories still keep appearing. The Telegraph reports that it is not just Cameron who is on probation until 2014 but Osborne too. This really is the politics of the mad house and it is becoming seriously irritating to the majority of Tory backbenchers. I predict that if these stories keep appearing (placed by the usual suspects) there will be an explosion at the 22. I would imagine that Afriyie must be getting very concerned to read reports that he has set up a well funded organisation and will be announcing an alternative economic strategy. After his proclaimed bromance with Cameron I find this very hard to swallow. Every time the poor fellow opens his mouth it will be twisted into an attack on the leadership. For an ambitious young man with a brain this is a perilous situation to find himself in. My advice to the lad is run for the hills, write a piece in the Telegraph saying that all this talk is loose and sign a loyality pledge to the leadership in his own blood. And that is the start. He has now become, probably quite unwittingly, a focus of serious dissent. The trouble is every time he does say something sensible the government is not likely to roll over and have their tummy tickled for fear of being frit of a young pretender.