I’m just, after watching the 37th round of the NFL Draft on ESPN, to be honest, well I’m pretty sick of it. I don’t care who the Rams are after taking with the 1,079th overall pick, the got Sam Bradford, will any other rookie on that team even get a “What’s up?” from the coach? Exactly. And besides, here at Stepien Rules we’re basketball guys. Keep Peyton, we’ll take LeBron. So, I felt it’s time for us to talk something non-Cavalier on the morning of game five (just for a sec, I promise), it’s time to draft people…

We’re right around a week and a half away from deadline day for our future pro’s to decide whether they’re in or out. So far, we’ve had the easy choices (Wall, Turner) declare, the not so smart (Warren, Stephenson) declare and had some spurn the opportunity completely (Singler, Vesely). So while we wait for the Draft Lottery balls to bounce and let us know who wins John Wall, we’ll work off of the final standings of the fourteen worst records in the NBA for this mock draft. Knicks fans are going to be proper p***** this summer. First off the Jazz have their pick, which is almost guaranteed to be a stud, or at least better than anyone on the Knicks roster not named Lee, and secondly LeBron signs a new contract with the Cavs while snickering as the Knicks land Rudy Gay. Let’s no digress anymore, with the first pick of the NBA Draft…

The New Jersey Nets (12-70) select John Wall. Joe Dumars could make this call. I know they have a pretty decent point guard in Devin Harris, but John Wall is John Frickin Wall. Trade Devin Harris, lock him in the closet, I don’t care. Draft Wall, give him the keys to the offense and sit back. He is neck-breakingly fast, an improving shooter, has a nose for the big play and will certainly be an excellent on ball defender with his length and speed. Wall, Brooke Lopez, CDR, Terrence Williams and MikhailMoneyBagsRussianGuy should have the Brooklyn area buzzing in the not so distant future.

Minnesota’s on the clock with the second pick. David Kahn is wondering will he be able to get away with taking another point guard. While he roots for Sherron Collins agents number, Kevin Love interrupts and announces that with the second pick Minnesota selects…

Evan Turner of Ohio State. Safe choice here, guy is as polished as they come. Should form a nice inside out partnership with Al Jefferson, if they ever find his knees or him for that matter again. David Kahn can’t help but laugh when he points out that Turner played the point at Ohio State. He couldn’t be happier. Breaking news; Ricky Rubio signs an 11-year extension to stay in Europe.

Sacramento are now on the clock. With a core group of Tyreke Evans (20), Omri Casspi (21) and Spencer Hawes (21) all at a good age, the big decision here is whether to take a backcourt mate for Evans or one of the many bigs available. With the third pick…

Sacramento selects Wesley Johnson out of Syracuse. It was a coin toss between him and DeMarcus Cousins, but apparently Westphal didn’t like the idea of a 19-year old rookie threatening him if he ever told him to do anything. In the mean time, Cousins’ agent denies all rumours of his client being a basketcase.

After an A+ draft last year (Steph Curry is as good a rookie as your as likely to see), the Kings go safe and choose DeMarcus Cousins out of Kentucky. Wait, did I just call Cousins a safe pick? Let me see, 6’11’, 270lbs, 15 points with 10 rebounds, freshman of the year on a team that had John Wall. On the other hand, Google DeMarcus-Cousins-forearm-Kentucky-v-Louisville. After all, it’s Golden State!!

Up next we have the Wizards, who decide to add some athleticism and potential in the shape of rookie phenom Derrick Favors. Who knows, maybe Favors’ relaxed demeanour has a calming affect on Andray Blatche, who instead of abusing Flip Saunders turns his upside into reality and averages 20/10 for the season. And maybe Gilbert did actually mean nothing by having those guns…

With Philadelphia on the board and Elton Brand on the treatment table, they take the sublimely talented Greg Monroe with the sixth overall pick. Greg Monroe may be the best passing big in the NBA the minute he gets drafted. At some point in his career (probably not with Phily) he should and could average seven to eight assists. If he played with the shooters currently residing in Orlando, he’d average ten.

Detroit’s next. If you’re the Pistons (if you actually are, our sincerest sympathies from all of us here at S.R) your team needs one thing more than any other – and inside presence. You don’t really need a scorer with Rip, Gordon and Stuckey, so Cole Aldrich from Kansas fits the bill perfectly. Loves grabbing rebounds, just loves it. Doesn’t need touches to be effective in the paint, which is great when you have Ben Gordon on your side.

Coming in at the eight spot we have the Clippers. What do we say here? Blake Griffin only just started walking pain-free. You have to feel for whomever they choose here. Ed Davis out of UNC is chosen to partner Griffin for the next ten years as the Clippers “bigmen of the future”. That’s their slogan for next season by the way. Not only did Ed Davis play on the worst North Carolina team of all time, the Clippers just drafted him. What a rough year.

Here’s where New York fans cringe. Thanks to some bone headed trade made in the Isaiah tenure, the already very good Jazz get the chance to select the ninth pick. Knowing the Jazz and the recent luck they’ve had in the second round, they listen to offers from teams drafting in the forties, but with Boozer declaring he’s off to Miami, they choose Donatas Motiejunas from Benetton Treviso.

This choice was made either because A) He might be the next Dirk, B) His upside is off the charts or C) They want to be the first NBA team ever to start an all-white, non-American frontcourt of Okur, Kirilenko and Motiejunas. You decide. If the Knicks had this pick, Renardo Sidney would have been the ninth pick of the 2010 NBA Draft.

The Pacers are on the clock. With Roy Hibbert having shown substantial potential the past season, they decide to take the bruising Ekpe Udoh from Baylor. The reasoning behind this pick is that Udoh will continue to improve in the near future, Indiana won’t be relevant in the near future and Roy Hibbert needs more help down low. Troy Murphy is a little too fond of the treatment table to be considered help.

Needing a new alley oop buddy, the Hornets select Al-Farouq Aminu from Wake Forest with the eleventh pick to play with the other-worldly Chris Paul. Does the fact that they’re both Deamon Deacons play a part here? No, maybe…ok, just a little. But nonetheless, Aminu is a special talent that in the right system (where he’s not the main focus on offense) could blossom into a genuine star in the league. Whether he plays the three or four is the main issue here. If his shooting improves, he might just be a Kevin Durant-type mismatch at the small forward spot.

Having screwed up last years draft immeasurably by taking Thabeet, the Grizzlies decide that Daniel Orton is the guy who’ll soon make them forget about that pick. That was a lie by the way; do you know how good a Tyreke Evans/OJ Mayo backcourt could have been? With Orton now manning the paint, Hasheem Thabeet is sent in a draft day trade to…Barcelona in exchange for Ricky Rubio!! The NBA – where David Kahn messing up the 2009 NBA Draft and constantly getting reminded of it happens. Hasheem Thabeet averages 24 points, 17 rebounds and 9 blocks his first year in Europe.

Having lost Chris Bosh to free agency, the Raptors select Patrick Patterson to be their new starting power forward. For those of you who are counting, that’s four Kentucky players taken in the lottery, one Avatar-look-a-like fleeing Toronto and a couple thousand Knicks fans simultaneously curse Isaiah Thomas. I love the Draft!!!

With the final pick of the 2010 NBA Lottery, the Houston Rockets select Solomon Alabi out of Florida State. Let’s face it, when your starting point guard is smaller than your head coaches nine-year old daughter, you need a (healthy) big man in the lane…

There you have it fellow NBA lovers, your 2010 NBA Draft Lottery…kinda.

About Brendan Bowers

I am the founding editor of StepienRules.com. I am also a content strategist and social media manager with Electronic Merchant Systems in Cleveland. My work has been published in SLAM Magazine, KICKS Magazine, The Locker Room Magazine, Cleveland.com, BleacherReport.com, InsideFacebook.com and elsewhere. I've also written a lot of articles that have been published here.