I'm moonlighting as someones else's bitch...

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About Me

I am a stay at home mom to 4 kids, 14,10,8,& 4. I am a bit high strung and not proud of it. I like things to be clean. I yell a lot. I am a sort of jack of all trades, master of none. I am honest, don't like getting old, wish I was cooler than I am. I am sucker for celebrity gossip, good raunchy jokes and overpriced skin care.

Therapy Disclaimer

I am a reluctant stay at home mom nearing the end of my term. I am a recovering "Suzy Homemaker". I curse. I say what's on my mind. I hope that I say things that other people are thinking, just don't have the guts to say. I hope to make people laugh at or with me. I hope not to offend too many people, but know there have been a few and am quite certain there will be several more.

So, if you are looking for a dysfunctional view on mothering, being a woman , and life- you may not be disappointed here. If you are still Suzy Homemaker and think that everyone should be, I might just make you want to vomit.

Thanks Drowsey Monkey!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

If you are interested in the title and came here from a google search- sorry- I'm a total tease. It's kind of an experiment- not experimentation- like in college, but testing a theory of abstract reasoning. Then again, if you were searching for 'boobs bouncing', you might not understand any of them there big words- sorry, you can go!

If I haven't scared you off yet, bless you! So, how fun was that yesterday? Maybe not for you, but for me- (maybe for you though, because I did give you that opportunity to please yourself and all!)

I pulled some people out of hiding and got some new faces to comment and I have more people on my "Followers" list, too, woo- hoo! Some of you asked what that means- well- you've sold your soul to the devil. No, I don't think that's it- I really don't know. I'm just horribly superficial and to me, it's a status thing, what can I say!

Another wonderful thing that came out of yesterday's post- I have a new best friend! Sorry, Ladies and Gents (sometimes there's a token dude or two here- and I heart them, too, so I can't leave them out)- I have a new bloggy buddy that I'm totally smitten with! She has graciously stroked my ego over at her blog today, talked about my boobs bouncing (or something), and linked me like 200 times in the post. Linking = LOVE- that's all I'm saying!

Cheryl, The Daily Blonde, is a little too good for me. Actually- she's totally slumming with me, really- she's so very gorgeous (WAY MILF), has 5 kids (trumping my 4) and is tech savvy! She made me this!

I would have to glue a sequin on a piece of paper, write the words with marker and take a picture of it and then post it (first I would have to have batteries in my camera)- that might have actually been entertaining-too bad!

She led me to this to find out my "Cuss Rate"- FINALLY, maybe a contest I can win!( Be careful, if you go- they direct you to Mingle2- which, if you're like me, and God help you, but if you're like me and you just fill out info when they ask for it, you, too may be confused when they ask if you are looking for a man or a woman- wasn't sure exactly what that had anything to do with how much I cussed, but they assured me that they would find me a good man- I'll have to warn my husband!)

Anyway, my cuss rate is 52.4%- that's not that bad, SHIT! I don't know how they figure that. It's not like I cuss 52% of the time- what am I a fucking sailor? If they had a category for "mommy blogs", I'm thinking I might be at the top of the list- I mean, my 3 year old says "Fuck it"!

Cheryl and I are both on a mission to decrease that damn "Bounce Rate" and become popular! So go see my new friend and boobs better be the only thing bouncing over there!

20 comments:

I am laughing so hard I think I'm going to need some bladder control product. YOU are too kind...but hey, maybe we're on to something. I think my daily breakfast post tomorrow will have to have a title like "girl on girl breakfast sandwich". We'll take over that google bounce crap once and for all!!

You're so awesome. I expect to hear about a higher cuss rate and a lower bounce rate soon...although since Mr. Handsome has come into my life, my cuss-o-meter works when I'm bouncing.

hysterical and then some...and excuse me as I edit myself (seriously I need to take the cuss test because I'm willing to bet body parts that I cuss more than that) and yes my three year old once said "eat your fucking french fries" to her great grandmother, not her grandmother, her great grandmother - pre WW2 for crying out loud!but what I really need to know is:WHAT IS GOOGLE BOUNCE???