Their safety and their children’s safety are always the most important issues

Abuse is a crime

They do not cause the abuse

They are not to blame for their partner’s behavior

They cannot change their partner’s behavior

Apologies and promises will not end the violence

They are not alone

They are not crazy

Abuse is not loss of control; it is a means of control

Discuss how the violence affects the children

Be encouraged that every time they reach out for help they are gaining the emotional strength needed to make effective decisions. They may be too fearful and immobilized or confused to take any step immediately

Although police can be asked to accompany a victim in going home to retrieve personal belongings, encourage the victim to be prepared for the possibility of leaving home in a hurry. The victim should have necessary documents or photocopies ready, as well as important items such as:

Credit cards, cash, bank books

Passport, birth certificates, citizenship papers

House keys

Medications

Children’s favorite toy, clothing, etc…

Things you SHOULD NOT DO:

An abuse victim needs our support and encouragementin order to make choices that are right for them. However, there are some forms of advice that are not useful and even dangerous for them to hear:

Do not judge or give advice

Don’t criticize them for staying with the abuser, butshare informationon how abuse increases over time without intervention

Don’t try to diminish their feelings about their partner

Don’t tell them what to do, when to leave or when not to leave

Don’t tell them to go back to the situation and try a little harder

Don’t rescue them by trying to find quick solutions

Don’t suggest you try to talk to their abuser to straighten things out

Don’t place yourself in danger by confronting the abuser

Don’t tell them that they should stay for the sake of the children

Never recommend joint family or marital counseling in situations of emotional or physical abuse. It is dangerous for the victim and will not lead to a resolution that is in their best interest. If they want counseling, encourage separate counseling for them.

Domestic Violence is one of our country’s most neglected crimes.Please be a part of the solution to these ever increasing statistics. Domestic Violence affects people in every community throughout our country. We need your help in this this critical mission to restore the peace. Donations of any amount/type are always needed and greatly appreciated. We help Americans! We Rescue the Abused, Abandoned and Oppressed; and, We Save Lives. Join Today! Any amount Helps. You can Make a difference! Donate Now