Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Roads and Scenery

So the road's wide open before us all. There's so much to get to... so much waiting ahead to surprise us, delight us, teach us. I can't wait.

Six hundred and sixty-seven posts. That's what today makes. Four years of sharing my life. I started this blog as a means of keeping up with friends back in Dallas. I'd just moved here - just bought Freeman House - and wanted a common show-and-tell space to share pictures and stories of my new life. My friends read, then would call me to discuss my decision to move to the country. What was I thinking? Was I really giving up reporting? What about my career? My boyfriend? I had no answers, but each day I had a story. And somehow those stories became my answers.

Blogging suited me. I learned to write, professionally, in a newsroom, banging out dozens of facts and sources in paragraphs that would fit a 17 second window and leave eyes and ears informed, inspired or intrigued. Or whatever. Getting on the computer and spitting something out for a faceless, nameless audience is all I knew. Blogging was second-nature to me. It's always been something I didn't have to think about.

But that changed. The first time someone I didn't know left a comment on this blog, I was perplexed. Who was this person reading my story... reading my life? How did they find my blog? Why were they so interested? I was scared - for reasons you guys could have no way of knowing about. I stopped blogging, then eased back into it again. But one day, when three people I didn't know commented, I quit. This was too scary, and suddenly my always nameless, always faceless audience had both names and faces. It was too real. I went back to paper journals.

Still, the computer keyboard called to me. I missed it... the release of seeing words line up and my urge to write dissipate into orderly sentences. I type over 100 words a minute, so blogging was much faster than smearing ink across a page. So I started again, deciding to ignore the "nosies", as my friends called the strangers who left comments.

That was years ago. Now this blog is read by people I've never met in places I've never been. But the tone of my blog never changed. It's always been about my life - my grief, my searching, my joys and my dreams. It was never right for ads or profit. Life isn't all about money. It was about reaching out, sharing myself and what little I have, and connecting with friends.

If we sat here all day, the two of us, I still couldn't tell you what your participation and support of this blog... of my life... means. You've cried with me. Laughed with me. Cooked with me. Crafted with me. Read with me. Listened with me. Petted with me. Traveled with me. Lived with me. Somehow we've become friends, haven't we, and faced our days together. It's meant everything to me. Thank you.

The relief associated with ending this blog is enormous. I say this without apology. I want to be anonymous. I'm tired of my life being "monitored" by people I'd rather not keep tabs on me. But this isn't to say I'm disappearing altogether. In the coming weeks, henrybella's web site (now pointed here) will be restored, and a little blog there will keep up with the comings and goings of the happy business. (First up? Renown Christian author and one of My Messy, Thrilling Life's favorite writers -Leigh McLeroy - will be at henrybella's Thursday, April 16th, at 6 PM for a reading/talk. Tickets are $5 in advance and at the door. Details soon on the website.) Also, the Freeman House newsletter, which many of you signed up to receive, will begin in May. I've also kicked around the idea of writing a book, and would enjoy finally getting that cookbook out as well. So, you see, this isn't a goodbye. We're simply changing scenery between acts.

So I'm still here. Just not here. So you know, commenting on this little blog will be disabled at the end of the day, so feel free to say anything that's on your mind until then. Afterward, the blog will still be visible, but any interaction associated with this site will be discontinued.

This has been one amazing journey already, hasn't it? I look prayerfully and wondrously at the road in front of us, and hope we cross ways again. Take care until then, will you?

Thank you for sharing your time with us. For me, you gave me hope that God was with me when things seemed terribly, hopelessly lost. I think that you reached a lot of people in that way. You were so honest about your life and that helped me with my perfectionist tendencies. I am glad you are leaving the blog here, so I can revisit some of the lessons that meant the most to me. Thank you.

Ah, dear Brin -I will miss you here. You've been part of my days through the past couple of years. Yes, I've laughed with you, cried with you, prayed with you, petted Millie with you, been on my knees in the garden beside you and praised God for opening the doors of Henrybella's. I'll check in there often when the website is up. If I'm ever in your area you'd better believe I'll find you and sit in your sweet place of peace to enjoy the work of your hands. And maybe, just maybe a few minutes to chat. May God bless you in whatever He leads you to do with your business, your writing and all of the endeavors He brings your way.~Adrienne~

I'm so glad you didn't just end this....that you wrote this final post. It's weird to say goodbye to someone I don't even know! But, that's the blogging world. You're the reason I started my own little blog. I know I won't last as long as you, mine's just a silly little thing.I'm wishing you the best of luck in all your endeavors and will be watching Henrybellas now and thenHug that little puppy of yours, and as a fellow owner of a very old house with history, I wish you luck with that as well.

Thank you for bringing us along on the amazing journey. Thank you, also, for always being so honest. I have always looked forward to your posts, I love your writing style. I will miss you, but wish you the brightest of futures! Godspeed Brin!

BRIN,I WILL MISS YOU SO BAD.YOU HAVE BEEN SUCH A BLESSING TO ME.PLEASE DO NOT FORGET ME,AND KEEP MY DAUGHTER IN YOUR PRAYERS.I KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU.I AM IN TEARS AS I AM TYPING THIS.MAY GOD BLESS YOU,I KNOW HE DID ME BECAUSE HE SENT YOU MY WAY!SENDING YOU HUGS AND KISSES!LOVE, FAYE

I have so much enjoyed your blog. It has become a part of my everyday life. The way you write, your faith in God, your gardens and home, and your precious pup--I have enjoyed it immensely. Thanks allowing us to have a peek into your life!Happy Birthday and God bless.~Tammy

Happy Birthday! Thank you for having the strength to be so generous in sharing what's been on your heart. The words you've written here have meant so much to so many.

You are very wise to know when it's time to make a change. And thanks for giving us a chance to wish you well and stand and wave as you start down a different road. Godspeed, my friend.

May the road rise up to meet you,May the wind be ever at your back.May the sun shine warm upon your face And the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

This was fun. Thanks for your on-line journaling. It was so brave of you to let us read about your ups and downs while figuring out your life. It has been inspirational to me. Your "nosies" will be keeping watch over Henrybella's.May God bless us all with courage to face our futures.

It has been a ride! Thanks for continuing to blog despite your initial (and very understandable i might add!) hesitation. I believe I know what it feels like to feel a bit more private and worry who in the hek might be peeking in on my life! Perhaps I'll eventually get brave enough to open it to the public again. Blogging really is a magnificent tool. Wish you well, again... and happy birthday to you! keep on keeping on...making lots of messes and watching God turn them into thrilling moments and lessons along the way. Hugs and kisses for Miss Millie too! :)Tara

Best of luck in all that you do. I'm sure things will all work out according to God's plan. Please add me to your newsletter list about Freeman House and I will definitely be visiting henrybella's website. Thanks for all you have shared with us!

Hello "Brin"Like many others you are the reason I began blogging...not for the masses, but to share my story with my grandson and myself. One day I will create a book for just us two so that he can remember me after I am gone.

"Thank You" is not grand enough to tell you how much you have meant to me.

You have been a peaceful place at the end of a confusing day. To have found a beautiful old home in a little town, with a bicycle to ride and a basket to carry home the day's treasures, and to have a beautiful little bakery at the end of the ride, well...how perfectly wonderful my time with you has been, and you didn't even know it!

So "Thank you" will have to do, until grander words are created.

Happy Birthday to you....Enjoy the journey...your best days are open before you.

I've been reading but never commenting...I just want to say THANK YOU for sharing your heart with me. God is soo amazing-His message never changing...we are loved. Your struggles, your triumphs, your joys have reflected that and they have *touched* my heart. Our circumstances are so very different but the Answer is not. God Bless You as you continue on your journey to Him.Rene'

It will be strange not to see you pop up on my blog roll with a new post. I have enjoyed the time with you Brin. I have been inspired, motivated, moved to tears and laughter. I cannot wait to get the newletter (sissyreads@gmail.com) and hear more about the bakery.

Brin, I've been selfish wanting you to keep blogging, I'm sorry for that, but at least I'll have your blog to go to when I need to hear your wisdom of words, a recipe or shot of grace. I've followed you from almost the start and I can't tell you what a blessing you are, I think I will have to re-read your blog from the start till your books come out! I look forward to the newsletter too. I feel like I'm losing a favorite magazine or dear friend but I know you will follow your path to happiness. Love Ya!!

I don't have a blog yet, but I am a big time lurker of many many blogs - yours being one. Don't recall how I originally came across it, but it was a pleasant visit so I continued. I also have a fabric brooch from your etsy shoppe that you crafted a loong time ago.

As for your feelings about blogs and visitors, it never ceases to amaze me the depth and breadth of the feelings that people experience having a blog, feeling obligated, feeling burdened, etc. etc. It's very interesting. Perhaps one day when I start my own blog I'll understand.

Thank you for sharing your life's journey through the past few years. It's been such a blessing and honor to have been let in on your joy and sorrows. I hope your birthday is a blast!Much love and Prayer,Kattyrae

I have enjoyed the short period of time I have been able to read your blog. It has been wonderful to see how the Lord has worked to bring Henrybella's about. I wish you the very best in your endeavors! I'd also love to be included in the newsletter for the Freeman House!

I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday...may this closing chapter open to yet another one filled with all the hopes and promise a beloved Daughter of the King can have in Him. Your writing, so transparent and from the heart has been a great inspiration to countless folks...and we all come away from this shared adventure with something timeless and precious...God's love and faithfulness poured out through this one messy, thrilling life. Thank you for being the conduit of His grace in such a beautiful way...

I will enjoy hearing about the joys and challenges of henrybella's as well as Freeman House... and I will continue to happily point folks here to read your story. Thank you for your incredible generosity.

Best of wishes Brin. I am one of those strangers who has giggled at your adorable toe socks, maveled at the wonderful views from the western mountain cabin and have prayed for you when the times appeared to be harder than you could bear.

Thank you for the transparency you've shared and for allowing us to peek into your life. You have inspired me, encouraged me, and left me wanting more. I'm sad you're closing this blog but understand your decision. I wish you all the best.

Thank you. For sharing your life with all of us strangers. For making us laugh. For being real. For inspiring us. And THANK YOU for leaving the blog up so that we can still come back and re-read, so that we can still get a little dose of Freeman House whenever we need one.Thank you.Enjoy the next chapter!

As one of those first commenters a long time ago, I want you to know how much I have delighted in reading your always interesting blog, and reading about your charmed and sometimes difficult life. I, very much, admire your endless faith, and your dedication and determination is phenomenal and a great testimony to people like me who are still struggling with questions about trust and faith. Brin, dear girl, I bid you a fond farewell and a very Happy Birthday.

Brin I wish you the best with everything. You are so real...inside and out and that's why I loved reading your blog. I know I have tons to still catch-up on. I will definitely check in at HenryBellas. Take good care of you and Millie. Very good things will happen to you both!! Lots and lots of hugs!

Just wanted to say goodbye & thank you! It's amazing how God uses people to work ministries in all sorts of ways. Even though I started reading your blog already a Christian, it's been a source of upliftment & a reminder of God's love and will...a true ministry in my life, and I'm sure others!I admit, I am a little sad to see you go, but I know you will be blessed during this new season of life!I would love to be on your newsletter list if I'm not already.Best Wishes, Larissaris9175@yahoo.com

Brin - A happy. happy birthday for you! Thank you so much for sharing this with us all...it's completely changed me. I so appreciate you leaving it open, there are SO MANY things I can't wait to read and reread. You are so gifted...I am blessed to have found your blog.

So thankful you have given us ways to stay in touch.You are a light to the world Brin and I am honored to "know" you.God continues to use you in powerful ways... as you yield and submit and let Him work in and through you... in ways you will never fully know till He comes for us.Love your heart for Him.love, linda t

thank you for allowing us "nosies" to have a peak at your life. I have to admit, you've inspired me in so many ways, and God has used you to speak to me about patience. And trust. And perseverance. And dependance on Him. And so many other things.So, thank you.

Thanks for the journey down country roads. I've enjoyed your writing style and your storytelling ability. It was interesting to see what you would come up with next. I'll be sad to see you go...you've certainly kept me entertained when I needed an escape from reality.Brava!!

Happy trails and best wishes!

P.S. I have a bet with a friend that thinks you really live in NYC. ;)

I will miss your blog so much ... it has been my favorite for a year. I think of you whenever I use my House Helpers, or when I wear my Freeman House apron and patriotic flower pin, and always smile at what all was in my Scrappy Bag! Because of you, I found new-to-me writers like Leigh McLeroy and forgotten treasures like "Rose Cottage" and "The Ivy Tree" by Mary Stewart. It's been such fun to get to know you. I'll continue to pray for you and Millie, and for the success of henrybella's and Freeman House. I'm excited when I think of what the second third of your life will bring! Have the best birthday yet ...

Brin,Your life is an encouragement to many. I can't even imagine what your real name is because Brin suits the woman that we've learned so much from and followed around Freeman House. The Roads have been long and bumpy and the scenery lovely. Someday I hope to come upon HenryBellas.

I happened upon your blog late last year, and I checked here almost every day for new posts. You have been an inspiration. As my husband and I try to build a new business, we too are on the verge of nothing. We'll make it to where we need to be, and I am so thankful Henrybella's became a reality for you. You will continue to be an inspiration.

I'd love to receive you newsletter. My email is tinkwalt@gmail.com]You're in my prayers.

I will really really miss your blog. I've been reading it for like two years and have never made a comment. I must say that my family absolutely love the Loca Pollo Cacciatora recipe. I love your unique writing style and your humble faith in our Savior. At times, I feel a kindred spirit with you and admire your tenancity to pursue life at full speed despite the setbacks you've had. I will miss reading your blog but understand there is a time for everything and you are ready for this new venture in your life.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, May the Lord be gracious to you, May the Lord lift up his contenance on you and give you peace.

Brin, I am one of those strangers who has enjoyed reading your blog these last several months. I totally understand what you shared about it being kind of an odd thing that people you don't know at all can read details about your life. I have a private blog for that very reason. ;)

I just wanted to write to tell you though how inspired I have been by you. You are years younger than me (I'm 40) and I have learned so much from you. I admire your love for the Lord, people and how very creative and adventurous you seem to be. God is glorified when we allow others little windows to see into our lives. It is honoring to Him how you use all the gifts He has given you to inspire and bless others. I pray the Lord blesses you richly as you begin walking this new road He has you on. Thank for keeping the blog open. I want to refer back to all the yummy recipes. :) Thanks also for allowing us to hear about how Henry Bella's evolves. That will be exciting.

I will surely miss, miss, miss your blog Brin! I wish all the best for your future & Henrybellas ~~ Would love to be on your newsletter list ~ kattzcottage@embarqmail.com Take Care & HAPPY BIRTHDAY!Kathy

i honestly haven't a clue how i came to find your blog over a year ago. all i know is - reading about your life has become a part of mine. thank you for sharing. may God richly bless you on your journey of faith & may you find peace, joy & love every step of the way. you will be missed but not forgotten. Jesus loves you, this I know.

Brin, Thank you for EVERYTHING! And thank you for leaving the blog up so we can finish reading all of it. May you be ever blessed!

I thought you might like this as I've enjoyed the way you see God's hand in everything.Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God; But only he who sees, takes off his shoes, The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Happy Birthday! Thank you for your gifts of beautiful photographs and thoughts. I hope you can tell that many of us will continue to pray for you! God's blessings as you continue on your messy, thrilling path with Him and Millie!

I hate to see your blog end... but wish you and henrybella's all the best. I would love to receive the Freeman House newsletter as you have been such an inspiration to me as I hope to follow in your footsteps with a neat old house (and business) of my own one day. Thank you for keeping your blog up for all of us "strangers" to read back through and enjoy all over again. :)

You've been a source of encouragement that you'll never know. In my own murky mid-twenties and dealings of life's disappoints I could turn to your blog and be strengthened by your hope and faith. Thank you for sharing not only the celebrations in your life, but the dark days God has brought you through. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers often.

Go for the gusto Brin. I for one would be one of the first ones in line to purchase your book! You are making a difference in the world and that is what we are all here for. Go forth and continue to let His light shine! Blessings!

I'm so glad you left us one last post saying goodbye. I will miss you terribly and keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You're such a treasure and I'm glad to have been allowed (even as a nosie!) to read along. God bless you always!

I love your blog. One thing I find wonderful is the mix of people that read your blog. I must confess, the first time I stumbled upon your blog I read one, two, three... ten + posts and I decided I liked it. Then I started to ask myself "why?" I didn't have an exact answer. I only knew that we lead such different lives.. myself out of college for 3 years, living in the suburban edge to DC. I don't have a working oven [long story] so baking with you isn't an option. I have some personal stugles with bringing myself fully back to relgion. I adore your stories, wisdom, devotions, bible verses etc. which are so beautiful and moving but I haven't picked up a bible in years.

Guess this is starting to be too long so I'll just end it by saying thank you for posting. I've loved reading your blog. It has inspired, heartened me and I will miss it. I'm even tearing up right now which makes it a little hard to type. Thanks again.

Please add me to the newsletter list! I have tried several times on the post where you requested e-mail addresses be left to sign up for newsletters, but keep running into problems. Here goes one last time! pcmfo@hotmail.com

Ironically, I just stumbled across your blog today for the first time. I admire your courage and creativity. I am a mother of 7 children seeking to simplify my life and I will most likely peruse your blog for some insight. I relate to your desire for intimacy, it is thrilling to let go and not look back--I am similar, but I do find it equally thrilling to touch base with my "soul sisters" through this magical media. All the best in your new adventure.

I hope you know that in the last few months when you weren't sure where God was he was in your words. You have changed people's lives forever with your honesty and humor. I am one of them. I have read your blog eveyday you have written for the past year or so. You have helped me to look at things with a fresh set of eyes and I will miss "My Messy, Thrilling Life" but I am perfectly content to receive my newletter and check on you at Henrybella's. And please - think about writing that book. I know that it will open so many doors for you. Good Luck and God Bless!!

My prayers are also with you as you move on. I would also like to ask for your prayers for myself as well as I lost my wonderful husband of the past 7 and a half years on Dec27th to a 4 and a half year battle with cancer. My name is Rita Bush and my e-mail is rita.bush@cfisd.net.

All I can do is to wish you the VERY best in your future - may you find all that you're looking for, all that you deserve - & may your life be touched & blessed as you have touched & blessed so many lives through your blog over the years. I'll miss my daily visits here !Bye for nowLynda, Kilimanjaro, East Africawww.foodfunfarm.blogspot.com

Brin, I've been reading you probably 2 years now & I wish you the very best that the good Lord brings your way. I'm happy & excited for your new opportunity with the bakery & hope to continue reading you there. Best Wishes from AL!

i can't thank you enough for what you have given me. God has given me a desire to bake, from just reading your blog. the homemade butter, pudding and crackers are just a few of my family's favs. i getting ready to garden and i am looking foward to can and freeze our harvest for the first time. i pray that God will continue to be with you and lead you. i know that He has great plans for you.God bless!alissa

Thank you, sweet girl, for sharing your journey with us. I feel like I'm a better person for knowing you. I ask God to bless you on the next leg of your travels and pray that He keeps you safe in His arms. Much success in all of your endeavors and looking forward to the newsletter. Love ya! xxoo

God bless you, Brin, and happy birthday! May you always know the warmth of love and wrap it all around you...

Take a deep breath, throw us all one last kiss, and begin your new decade with the knowledge that many, many people you will never meet have been blessed by sharing (in some small but meaningful way)your messy, thrilling life! Thank you!

Isn't life an evolution? One day we find ourselves down one path only to see a different path based on what we've learned from the other. You've managed to do this with grace and I'll always admire you for that.