Beating the high cost of weddings: How we did it, and how you can too

Think you need to spend a fortune to tie the knot? It's just not so. Kris and I got hitched for a couple grand in 1993. In this guest post from JerichoHill, he explains how he kept costs down for his wedding last summer.

Weddings are expensive affairs. Couples often spend tens of thousands of dollars for an event that lasts only a day or two. I know, I know — the memories last a lifetime. But that's the catch-phrase of the industry that's sprung up around this occasion. In economics, this is called conspicuous consumption.

Ramit at I Will Teach You to Be Rich recently wrote an article about the cost of weddings. On average, a wedding costs $28,000. That's more than half what the typical American household earns in an entire year!

I was married two months ago. Spending a lot on our wedding was not an appealing option, especially since we're building a home addition at the same time. We managed to spend less than $10,000 on our wedding. You can have all the grandeur of a big wedding on a small budget. Here's how we did it, and how you can, too.

Photography

With digital cameras, memory sticks, and a laptop computer, the difference between the equipment available to the average Joe and to a professional photographer has greatly diminished. An argument can be made that a professional photographer can capture that special moment better, but they're also known to take a lot of pictures of the floral arrangement.

We decided that instead of hiring a photographer, we'd ask our friends and family to bring their digital cameras. Two of our friends are amateur photographers and were thrilled with a chance to use more fancy equipment for the wedding photos. One came armed with the latest techno gadgetry; the other came with an old-style camera (and I mean old-style!). Both friends had an absolute blast taking pictures.

For our reception photos, we asked that everyone take pictures of whatever they fancied, as we figured each social group at our wedding would take plenty of pictures of themselves. When guests left, they simply transfered their pictures onto our laptop computer, which was as easy as sliding the memory card into the appropriate slot and copying the files to our specified folder (which we made obvious).

By asking our friends and family to take pictures, we knew we'd get a lot of good variety, and perhaps a few more comical poses. We were able to pick and choose which to put in our own (free) online wedding album. Our friendly photographer posted the wedding album to PicasaWeb, and linked to a photo-making service so that guests could make prints of the photos they wanted. He added the pictures our friends took to the album, as well.

Chapel

Most colleges have a chapel, which is usually quite nice. Often, alumni of the college can use the chapel for their wedding, free of charge. During the planning stages, my fiancee contacted the chapel administrator at her alma mater. She filled out a few forms, and we had a nice place for a wedding for free because she was an alum. It was beautiful, but was even more meaningful because of her history!

Officiant / Organist

We weren't picky about the type of religious ceremony we were married under. We were happy to be married by a friend of my wife's family, who was licensed to perform marriage ceremonies. This added a personal touch. Another family friend was a retired organist, so he performed at our wedding. A deeply religious friend was honored to read from the Bible. Everyone did a marvelous job.

Reception

Renting a reception space is ghastly expensive. Why not have it at your home? My wife's family welcomed the opportunity. Even though the reception was large, we found a way to make their space work.

Not only does having a reception at home save thousands on renting a space, but it can provide impetus for some much-needed home improvement! The money you would have spent on rent instead becomes new paint, a new patio, or dozens of other improvements that stay with your family after the big day has passed. For our reception, my in-laws' house was repainted, the patio was re-laid, and the surrounding yard trimmed, pruned, and looked wonderful.

For music at the reception, we had an iPod loaded with tunes. We set that up to run into a speaker set, which an A/V friend of ours hooked up. When we had to interrupt DJ iPod for toasts, cake cutting, or our first dance, we used a switchboard from the local electronics store (very cheap). Otherwise, we hit the party shuffle, and off we went! Thanks, DJ iPod!

Rehearsal Dinner

We used a small restaurant and kept the rehearsal dinner invitations to main family members, the wedding party, and wedding officials. We met everyone else who came in that night at a local watering hole afterwards. I've been to some rehearsal dinners that were 60-100 person affairs. I can't imagine how expensive they must have been!

For alcohol, we compared the restaurant's wine prices with its corking fee. We found out that it was cheaper to pay the corking fee and just bring our own wine. After the rehearsal dinner, we had a night-time hangout spot lined up (a local bar/pool hall) where we could hang out with the younger crowd (that we couldn't invite to the rehearsal).

Food

Catering is also expensive. We couldn't believe how much it would cost for a large reception. Instead, my mother-in-law got creative with some foodstuffs from our local Costco. She enlisted the help of a women's social club she belongs to — they had a good time getting creative on recipes. Folks marveled at the shrimp the ladies prepared — shrimp that was bought in bulk from Costco.

Clothes

I dressed my groomsman in black suits, since the occasion to wear a tux is normally few and far between. Since they had (or bought) the suit, I bought them matching ties and kerchiefs as their wedding party gifts. My wife was able to use her sister's wedding dress, and I used an old family tuxedo. (Both fit us very well.)

Conclusion

These are just some of the many ways we reduced the costs associated with our wedding.

Our frugality led to creativity. We added a number of personal touches to the event, and our friends and family were able to help shape and sculpt our wedding day. Wedding memories aren't made from expensive cakes, but from the oddest of quirks. (We'll remember most our officiant's wife telling him to speak up as we started our ceremony.)

Utilize your connections. Reach out and draw upon the community that you grew up in, and you might be surprised. With a good social network and some creative thinking, weddings do not need to be expensive affairs. (Unless you want them to be!)

Great post… My wife and I were in a similar situation and managed to do our whole wedding for $8,000 including the honeymoon. We held the wedding and reception together at a local golf club with about 55 people. My wife used a second hand dress (only worn once 🙂 ) and the catering was much less expensive because of the fact that it was held in the existing resteraunt portion of the golf club. For our rehersal dinner, we limited to the (small) wedding part and parents and held it at a local pizza shop. For the honeymoon we… Read more »

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sandycheeks

12 years ago

I love the idea of having guests downlaod pictures before they leave. It beats the disposable camera’s on the table idea.

I’ve only been married 7 years but it seems like there are so many more money saving options available today.

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Nicole

12 years ago

So the lesson is: marry a woman who is well connected 🙂

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Sean

12 years ago

It is possible to do a wedding for next to nothing, but only if you and your intended are on the same page regarding cost. The key is to be tasteful, not cheap, and I think the post above is a good example. When my wife and I planned our wedding, we talked to our grandparents for ideas to save money and to get ourselves into the right attitude. I found asking family members or friends who married during the Depression/WWII era to describe their weddings was very enlightening. As you can imagine, weddings were kept very simple and low-cost… Read more »

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JerichoHill

12 years ago

Nicole,

Rather, utilize all the connections you both have.

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FinanceIsPersonal.com

12 years ago

It’s crazy to think that people used to get married for $100.00, nothing fancy, not even a tux in most cases. Just a nice service and a reception in the church basement, now that’s my kind of wedding!

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nuggie99

12 years ago

My wife and I went to the courthouse and got married. $35 for the marriage certificate and the taxpayers of Carbon County, PA covered the judge.

Probably not for everyone, but we liked it.

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Saving Freak

12 years ago

A quick tip would be to get married in December near Christmas. All the churches are decked out for Christmas and you don’t have to spend as much or any money decorating. The church my wife grew up in had hundreds of poinsettias all over the church and reception area. We were allowed to move them as long as they got put back. Another good side to getting married at this time of year is that the cruise lines run discounts the weeks before Christmas. This cut about 500 dollars per person off of our honeymoon cruise.

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E.T.Cook

12 years ago

I understand the desire to be frugal, but there are certain times and milestones in your life where spending a little bit more is worth it. You (hypothetically) are going to only get married once, and in the scheme of things, a few thousand dollars is peanuts over the course of a lifetime.

Again with the late reply … Assuming a 7% investment rate, that $10,000 extra spent would blossom into $171,442 between age 23 and 65. At a $20/hr wage, that’s 8,572 hours. At 2080 hours/year, that’s 4.12 years of extra work. Hardly peanuts. Taking into account low investment return AND inflation drops that to 1.25 years of extra work.

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Cindy

12 years ago

My husband and I decided to keep costs down for our wedding in ’06, considering that it was his third and my second. So, after getting our license (which was relatively cheap, but amusingly done in the same room as firearm licenses and probate filings), we got married in an Irish pub on St. Patrick’s Day. The pub management was kind enough to waive the cover charge for all our friends, and we had 500+ witnesses to our wedding (most of whom we didn’t know). This route is not for everyone, but we had a blast. 🙂

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Velvet Jones

12 years ago

Question: Did you pay for the house repairs and the food at Costco? That wasn’t clear to me.

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Kim

12 years ago

We did our wedding for $5000 (not counting photographer which was a gift from my inlaws). My dress was $150. It was gorgeous, but very simple. My veil was another $100. I have simple tastes. Our theme was “simple but elegant”. I designed everything, made the treats and centerpieces, etc. It was beautiful and we never felt like we were on a budget. It can be done. I think our wedding was prettier than another family wedding where the bride’s dress cost what my whole wedding and reception was. My family had said, we’ll pay for your wedding, but we… Read more »

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Michael B. Rubin

12 years ago

Great post! Another thing to think about is saving money for your guests. When my wife and I got married, we visiting several nearby hotels nearby and played them off one another for the right to be included in our save the date note. Didn’t save us money directly, but we felt better being that many people had the expense of flying. Then again, it may have increased the size of our gifts!

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icup

12 years ago

You have to be careful with DJ ipod. Make sure your playlist is music that is good for dancing/partying, not necessarily songs you like. When everybody is on the dancefloor, having a good time, you don’t want a 17 minute classic rock jam to come on.

A good wedding DJ will read the crowd to make sure everyone’s having a good time.

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Claire

12 years ago

I have been hoping that JD would post something about weddings! I am getting married in 2 weeks and both agree and disagree with this post. A lot of JerichoHill’s deals were lucky. We have to have a huge wedding because I have over 100 relatives (aunts, uncles and first cousins) who would be extremely offended if they weren’t invited. That rules out having the wedding in someone’s home. We are having an IPod DJ, although because we are having our reception at a restaurant we had to rent speakers and also get liability insurance, which added up. I don’t… Read more »

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public college student

12 years ago

Um, your college only has a chapel if it’s private (at least I hope so). That’s not really “most” colleges.

Great post otherwise, though. But, not everyone has a house big enough for a reception…

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zack

12 years ago

I’d want a 17 minute classic rock jam to come on.

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Leah

12 years ago

Here’s a tip: Ignore the wedding industry.

I vowed not to give them a dime, and wound up with a fabulous 40’s themed wedding that could have been on the E channel for 300 folks and it was under $2500. ($1000 for the war plane museum we rented, $800 for a full course sit-down BBQ dinner.)

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Courtney

12 years ago

I have read that the “average cost of a wedding” figure includes travel and lodging costs for guests.

My wedding cost me, my husband and our parents about $5,000. But more than 30 of our guests traveled across the continent and stayed in hotels, which could easily have driven the official figure for event up by another $15,000.

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J.D.

12 years ago

While we were getting ready for work this morning, Kris and I were trying to remember 15 years ago to how we did our wedding. In the intro to this piece, I have my number wrong. After putting our heads together, we believe we budgeted $1,000 for the wedding and $1,000 for the honeymoon. (We were poor and just out of school!) Here’s what we did for the wedding: * We were married by a judge at the county courthouse. This cost us $50. That was all there was to the “ceremony”. * We organized the reception ourselves. Some close… Read more »

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Sam

12 years ago

I’m going to agree and disagree with this post. I think its great to keep costs down and agree that if you can ignore the wedding industry you can save tons of bucks. On the other hand, I just got married last year (both age 35 it was the first and last wedding for both of us) and I figured (1) I waited a long time to get married I was going to have exactly what I wanted and (2) my husband and I were ‘adults’ and getting married in our back yard just wasn’t going to do it for… Read more »

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Rachel

12 years ago

A lot of this is good – BUT… The pictures – If you want nice pictures, the family way is not the way to go. Yes, technically there will be pictures of your wedding – but if pictures are AT ALL important to you (to some people they aren’t) like even 8 on your top 10 list of things, then you aren’t going to get what you want in the end and you can’t just get a ‘do over’ on that. Remember, if you have any sort of drinking you may have nice pics of the wedding, but everyone puts… Read more »

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LK

12 years ago

Kim – “simple elegance” was our theme too! I was tempted to fall under the spell of “this is a once in a lifetime thing, spend the money, blah blah blah” but we didn’t think it was necessary! We could have forked out money to have everyone we ever met show up, but instead invited only closest friends and immediate family; including the wedding party, there were just under 50 people present. We got married in my MIL’s humongous, 2-story sized sunroom; she also paid for the catering of tex-mex for the rehearsal dinner and wedding dinner. I spent $400… Read more »

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Rachel

12 years ago

“A quick tip would be to get married in December near Christmas.” I would have to disagree on this one. The points made in this comment were good – but if you are planning on renting any equipment or space the cost during the holidays usually triples. I used to be an event planner for a company and due to the huge amount of corporate holiday parties and charity fundraisers – space and equipment are at a premium. Even other vendors – like DJ’s and photographers increase their rates and are usually booked months, and months in advance. Plus –… Read more »

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COD

12 years ago

We eloped to Hawaii in 1991. The week in HI plus the wedding in a park over looking a waterfall cost about $5000 total.

We’ve never regretted it.

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Tara

12 years ago

We had our wedding in St. Thomas, USVI and the total cost (wedding on the beach, harpist, JOP, champagne on the beach, cake, flowers, reception at hotel with steak and open bar) was about $7k US (we’re Canadian) for about 20 people — not including our week there, which was about another 4k (so wedding + honeymoon). Still, we ended up doing things on the expensive side and had many guests for that kind of wedding. A basic wedding package and a cheap week at one of the best hotels on the island would have been about 4k total for… Read more »

And you still managed to spend $10,000? On food? (There are probably some flowers/decorations that you don’t mention, but still..)

I understand the mentality that this is a once in a lifetime event, and so it is worth spending extra on to make it memorable. However, it will be just as memorable without spending lots of money. And ten grand is a lot of money.

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Jeff Schaefer

12 years ago

As a pro wedding photographer, I have spoken to many regretful people who had an amateur or low-budget photographer shoot their wedding. The mistake they made that led to disappointment was expecting professional results. An amateur will not deliver the type of results you see in bridal magazines or on the pro’s web sites. Uncle Harry’s landscape photos may look great, but he’s never done a wedding, and he doesn’t know how to shoot like that. There is no substitute for hands-on wedding and portrait experience. As long as you have REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS, and frankly they are pretty low, then… Read more »

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Amelia

12 years ago

My husband and I got married two years ago and honeymooned in Hawaii all for under $5000. We both are on the same page and value living within our means. Well, at the time our “means” were pretty meager. My family donated the 5K to the effort and his Dad gave us an awesome voucher for our trip to Hawaii which gave us the flights for free with a minimum stay of 7 nights at a nice hotel, which we paid for. THAT was fabulous. We had the ceremony and reception in our backyard — we rent a basement apartment… Read more »

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typome

12 years ago

I’m getting married next year. A lot of the advice is good, and I’ve been reading frugal wedding books as well. However I think it depends on the couple and their families, and what their families’ cultures and traditions are. We’re having 150 people at our wedding, and that is after we’ve axed a lot of people from the list and removed kids. So I guess I do save a lot of money by eliminating the others, but not nearly enough to keep it under 50 guests, as other posters’ weddings were. I think the key is to prioritize what’s… Read more »

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Bob

12 years ago

@public college student: A lot of older universities have chapels on campus. It doesn’t have to be a private institution, nor does a chapel mean that the college is a religious one. Virgina Tech has a chapel in the center of campus, William & Mary has a very prominent chapel that’s one of the oldest buildings on the campus (and in the US for that matter)… to name a few public universities. — I definitely agree that a really good photographer can make some amazing pictures, even if they are expensive. Shop around, find someone who fits your style, and… Read more »

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Cassie

12 years ago

i got married last june. we spent $7000. the key is calling in every favor you have coming to you, prioritizing what you want, and being creative. we saved money in a lot of areas, which we were then able to put toward the parts of the wedding that were really important to us: food, drinks, and photography. we live in a live/work loft with a gallery in it, so we chose to have our ceremony there, which was free. my husband is a designer and had been on the design team for our reception venue, so we got that… Read more »

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Justin

12 years ago

I think one of the biggest things to take away from this post, and applicable in other contexts also, is to USE YOUR CONNECTIONS. Social networking used to be the way almost everything got done. If you needed something done to your house, you didn’t go and hire some random person out of a phonebook. You knew someone, or knew someone who knew someone. And that person is a lot more willing to negotiate and do their best job, since there’s a traceable social connection between you. The power of this is underestimated and underutilized in today’s world. I also… Read more »

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Penelope

12 years ago

I just got married 6 weeks ago. I decided spending money on a reception hall I was going to be in for only four hours would be better spent on my own house. Now I’m married, I have a completely relandscaped backyard, my house is painted and cleaner than its been in seven years! LOL… I picked out my tablecloth color WAY in advance. I picked the new color of my house months later – imagine my surprise when the two colors matched perfectly! I have great pictures (taken by family/friends) that show a brilliant green backyard, gorgeous yellow tables… Read more »

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Nicole II

12 years ago

It’s funny, even though the author of this post linked to Ramit’s wedding article, he still did exactly what Ramit said in the post, and in the comments, not to do. That if you use your family and friends to do all the work you’re not willing to pay for, it’s going to be a bummer for them, and it’s not worth your imagined “savings” or what not. My cousin had her reception at my parents’ house this summer. My mom and sisters and brothers and I worked our GUTS OUT getting that reception ready. My aunts cooked all the… Read more »

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TosaJen

12 years ago

We also had an elegant but low-key and low-cost wedding and reception (almost 14 years ago!). We decided to get married 6 weeks after we got engaged, because I didn’t want to have to plan a wedding for a year. I was a girl who knew what she wanted for the marriage and honeymoon, but who had never thought about the wedding. I just wanted to get it over with without being tacky or ticking off anyone, and I didn’t want to be in debt afterwards. I have to recommend the book that helped me save my sanity: Bridal Bargains… Read more »

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HollyP

12 years ago

If you feel comfortable asking people to take off a day from work, you can get great rates on midweek weddings.

I had a very, very small wedding, immediate family only. Since it was such an intimate group, I was able to get everyone to take a weekday off from work. Our $800 reception (with prime rib and champagne) would have cost $1500 on a weekend.

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FourPillars

12 years ago

We had a cheap wedding mainly because we only invited our small families (20 guests). The next day we had a bbq at our house for friends (and family). Total cost was probably around $4000.

I hate push posts like this but my co-blogger wrote a post exactly appropriate for this discussion where he discusses his dream wedding which is extremely cheap:

My sister and her husband got married three years ago for about $12,000 in the DC Suburbs. They are quite handy and did the invitations, food, flowers, and decorations themselves – and it was terrible. The months before the event were “wedding bootcamp” – grueling hours of hors d’oeuvre prep, tassel tying, bouquet making, etc. for the whole family. She’s not good with details, and many things ended up waiting until the very last minute – or getting cut from what she wanted. On that special day, they spent the whole time running around and organizing things, and 10 minutes… Read more »

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Money Blue Book

12 years ago

I’m in my late 20’s. Sometimes I wonder how people in their early 20’s or even late teens (for some girls) get married and survive financially so early on in life.

I had student debt up the wazzoo with no savings to speak off during that time. Getting married and having to incur such huge marriage expenditures would have been financially crippling.

Those times are also when the effects of compound interest are most critical – the earlier the better when it comes to saving and investing.

-Raymond

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SG

12 years ago

My best friend found an excellent way to trim the guest list of her wedding with a minimum of offense to relatives and friends — she was married on December 23rd. (She and her fiance got a sudden deal on a wedding venue that she simply couldn’t pass up.) As a result, she ensured that the guest list would trim itself to those who were willing/able to make the effort to be there. There were a few grumbles, but they mostly came from people who wouldn’t have been very good wedding guests in the first place. The result was a… Read more »

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Dave

12 years ago

When my sister was getting married, she had all sorts of big plans – reception at the country club, big rehearsal dinner, etc. My parents were paying for the wedding and finally put their foot down. They told my sister that they would pay a certain amount, and any cost over that would be on her. Strangely enough, the plans got scaled back so that everything came in on budget. I’m not advocating dropping $20k on the event, or suggesting you should get by on $500. It seems to me that the trick is to decide just how much you… Read more »

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Bethany

12 years ago

I just got married in August. I had wanted a Christmas wedding, too, for the same reasons others have noted (the church already is decorated, mostly). However, I had a friend last year get married the first week of January, and I have to second the suggestion NOT to get married around the holidays out of consideration for everyone’s vacation schedule. I hated taking so much time off work all at once. A few other thoughts: 1. One of the most important things you can do is dismiss the wedding industry entirely. Also, this is not a contest – give… Read more »

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JerichoHill

12 years ago

@ Velvet Jones –Some of the repair items we did get done at Costco (or rather, through their contractors) along with food. @ Michael Rubin –I forget to mention that, but yes, we did play the hotels against each other. That was quite fun. @ Icup –DJ Ipod worked just fine, since anyone could come up and put on another song. In effect, our guests were our DJs. –The average cost of a wedding figure I cited I don’t think included guests. Most of our guests didn’t come from more than 1 state away, and we specifically planned the wedding… Read more »

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JerichoHill

12 years ago

@Bethany –Your comment on bridesmaid dresses is excellent. I think Julie picked up her bridesmaid dresses off the clearance rack at Macy’s. They were lovely dresses and looked way more expensive than what they cost. Plus, Julie made sure to pick something that her bridesmaids would look good in! (I hear that doesnt happen much)

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Kim

12 years ago

I see some people are concerned about not having the dream day for a good price. Or that our cheaper weddings must have been small. I already said my wedding was $5000 (although admitted that the professional photographer was an inlaw gift, so not counted). We had our wedding at a beautiful and elaborate chapel. There were almost 150 people there. It was on Jan. 6 (Twelfth Night, Epiphany) so the last day that Xmas decorations are in the church, so place was decorated already, saving us some). Our reception was at a restaurant, in their banquet room. It was… Read more »

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Celia Milton

12 years ago

With all due respect for all the comments, and an equal disgust with the wedding industry, the one thing I wouldn’t skimp on it the officiant. Your ceremony is the reason for the entire day; to have some dry old judge open a book, read the same dull words and insert your names is sorrowful. It is your gift to your guests to provide an inspiring, moving, funny, and beautiful ceremony, and it’s something you’ll remember -they are also words, ideally, that will tide you through the inevitable rough times in any marriage relationship. You will find creative, caring officiants… Read more »

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Celia Milton

12 years ago

Joe, why would you think an officiant would be cheap or free? Why would you want someone underpaid to be in charge of the most important part of the day?

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Rachel

12 years ago

Oh – one last thing from a former event planner! YOU CAN NEGOTIATE!!! Don’t let those vendors fool you! Wedding planners may cost money – but they know this secret. You know that you want your room on a day that they aren’t busy and they want you to pay $600 for it. Tell them the hotel next door has a room for $400. I would bet you the difference that the price will suddenly drop to at the very least $450. Also READ YOUR CONTRACT – some hotels are real jerks and charge you for stuff like electricity!! (no… Read more »

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Kevin Von Qualen

12 years ago

I almost think this post goes against the normal, fantastic frugal advice found here. I think better advice is to figure out your budget, and then put your money into what you value. I’m an expensive, niche wedding photographer and couldn’t afford myself. My wife and I valued the “community” of our wedding and spent HALF of our budget on a live band. Our guests loved our outdoor ceremony, relaxed atmosphere, and the fantastic live party. Put your money in what you value! People will see and appreciate what you value, and be excited with you. Don’t just aim for… Read more »

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Hi! I’m J.D. Roth. I'm here to help you master your money — and your life.

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