Month: July 2016

Sara, Mary, and Marsha were all in the back seat of a “In-Repented” cab. The cab was driven by a man In a black turban. “So you exactly do not know the business name?” asked the cab driver with a heavy, Hindu accent. “Just keep going straight. It is down this street .” said Sara looking out the driver’s side of the passenger window, carefully trying to recognize the building. The man kept driving. Mary looked at his ID hanging above the cab meter. “Sara, we already owe $53.00 and counting. Why is this cab so expensive, Arun?” asked Mary watching the meter count rapidly. “It is very reasonable ride, yes? Our rates are vey inexpensive.” said Arun looking at Mary through the rear view mirror. “I guess!, But we have traveled what, 4 miles and owe you almost $60.00 now?” said Mary watching the meter tally. “Perhaps the 3 of you can become my wives if you cannot pay? I would provide for you very good! You all dress not exposing yourselves. I would provide you with proper robes and veils. Can belly dance any of you?” said Arun enthusiastically. “Cool it, Arun! Stop here Sheik Polygyny!” said Sara seeing the factory building. Arun slowed down and stopped the cab. “If other two say no, Possibly you only! I would provide for very good life. You can live as queen, yes?” said Arun looking Mary in the eyes through the rear-view mirror. Mary became mesmerised and looked as if she was in a trance. “Here is your money Arun! Perhaps there is a female camel that is missing you?” said Sara as she punched Mary’s arm, bringing her out of the trance. Sara and Marsha got out of the cab. Mary slid over to get out but stopped again, being mesmerized by Arun’s eyes through the rear view mirror. Sara abruptly grabbed Mary’s arm and dragged her out of the cab and slammed the cab door. “Believe me Arun, you may think she is the one for you, but as soon as the honeymoon was over, she would be bored stiff waiting around in a silk tent for you and would be lured off by the next trance inducing sheik! Besides. You don’t think she is a virgin do you?” said Sara as she led Mary and Marsha towards the building. “I am virgin!” exclaimed Marsha. “Give me a break, Marsha. I think that after a few months, he would most likely sell you cheap to the next naïve sheik looking for an extra wife, or trade you for a camel, once he figured out that you ain’t putting out!” said Sara laughing. “There is more to life then sex!” said Marsha, straightening out her clothes. “That is why you should join the Catholic Sisterhood. Let the rest of us regenerate the population. Before your sexual abortiveness destroys the earth’s human sexual engenderment .” said Sara still chuckling.

“Yeah Sara, like you have launched so many erections with that superior Madam Ballbreaker routine.” retaliated Marsha as they all walked towards the rear of the factory. “Sara, you could deflate a 16 year old erection with just one icy look, Miss Jackeline Frost.” said Mary laughing as they approached the door. “If it wasn’t for me, Mary, you’d be consummating your marriage to that Sheik, rolling in straw and camel dung, whilst all his other wives watched and took videos, Miss Three Prong Phallic Receptacle.” said Sara inserting the key and opening the factory door. “I wonder how that would work, being one of many wives? Would we each have our own weeknight to spend with the Sheik? Would we all be doing him at the same time?” asked Mary now getting seriously Confucius, as the 3-60’s Beatniks in Granny Boots peered into the factory through their circular rose shaded glasses. The factory was still running with no human is sight. “You would have to contemplate that in your little mind, wouldn’t you Mary. I mean really, where is your brain? Do him all together! Gee!” said Sara leading Mary and Marsha into the factory, following the arrowed path leading to the control room. “I just mean, how is it decided? Who is first and who is last? ” asked a curious Mary “Well, Abbot, Who is on first, What is on second, Why is in left field, which leads me to your question. Which is totally left field, thus putting you last in line if it was a measure of brain power!” said Sara now very bored with the conversation. “Thanks for clearing that up O Mistress Sadist in Torture Boots! said Mary giving up on the idea. “Anytime, Queen Intel-a-reject!” said Sara continuing down the arrowed path. “That is a good question, Mary. How would he manage satisfying all his wives? Would they not get jealous of each other?” asked Marsha supporting Mary’s wonderment. “I shouldn’t be surprised! Marsha, you would be first because the rest of his wives would have to restrain you as he cut the lock off your chastity belt!” said Sara as she got more intellectually insulted.

Looking in the control room, they seen one man sitting at the desk, looking into the many flat screened monitors. He had longer black, graying hair and was wearing dark blue coveralls. “Ok, what do we do now?” “We cannot get our dolls!” said Marsha and Mary in unison. “Who cares, lets just go where we came in and take the pills so we can go back!” said Sara trying to lead Mary and Marsha to the grating platform where they entered this timeframe. Seeing that Mary and Marsha were not moving, Sara started to shake her head. By this time, the man opened the control room door. “Hi girls. I have been waiting for you. Come in please?” said the older man in dark blue coveralls. Being startled, Sara, Mary and Marsha clutched each other and backed away a few steps. “How do you know us?” asked Sara reluctantly. “By your design. My associate, who is not in town at the moment, said you girls modeled for us. We got 3 very unique, but beautiful designs for our silicone doll line. Now we can square away the contract.” said the older man in blue coveralls. “Contract for what?” asked Sara. “For your design. Come in?” asked Joe motioning his finger invitingly. Sara cautiously led Mary and Marsha into the control room. In the control room, Mary, Marsha sat down in the extra chairs. Sara stood their looking the man in dark blue coveralls direct in the eyes. “My name is Joe. I own this factory. We provide solutions for people that are sexually challenged by producing life like dolls to keep them company.” explained Joe, talking in an eloquent, but down to earth manner. “Kind of like a pimp in a silicone whore factory.” said Sara offensively. “Yes, I guess that is one way to put it, however, the people that purchase these dolls are on the most part, lonely. Some are missing legs or arms, or have some disability that makes it hard for them to acquire female or male companionship. Our sales to that type of client is our main focus because they keep us alive.” explained Joe in a sincere tone. “Man, you are smooth! But, I am not sure I want my image used by any man, disabled or not.” said Sara as she paced back and forth, avoiding direct eye contact with Joe. “That is ok. We do not have to use your design. Good as they are, especially your doll, once we removed the enhancement.” said Joe.

Sara immediately looked back into Joe’s eyes. “You removed my enhancement, and liked it? I do not get it. Why?” said Sara as her hard shell started to soften. “Because, you have and intellectual attractiveness coupled with a natural beauty. Enlarging your breasts takes away from that earthy attractiveness, that I have always found irresistible.” said Joe looking Sara in her eyes now vulnerably exposed. Sara now knew she liked this guy, even more then Dwayne. “Are you married?’ asked Sara not realising what she just asked. “No, I am divorced.” said Joe now knowing Sara liked him. Mary and Marsha looked at each other and started to laugh. “The ice queen melted twice in one week.” said Mary “And he even likes your sunken treasure!” said Marsha still giggling with Mary. “Go dress your dolls, remedial twins.” said Sara in full eye contact with Joe. “Look Joe, I really think you are sincere. But I still think my design should be kept under wraps for now. You can keep it for yourself if you like. But please, do not distribute to the population.” said Sara smiling. “You can use our design, Joe.” said Mary and Marsha in unison. “Ok girls, contract is on the desk. Fill in the blanks!” said Joe being mesmerized by Sara’s stare. A dreamy moment later, Sara and Joe embraced and started to kiss passionately. Sara invited his advances as Joe removed her circular rose shaded glasses. Then his hand seductively felt her well formed buttocks. Sara winced in pleasure. Joe’s hand then slowly but steadily snuck under her top, caressing her tummy, then with his fingertips, pushing Sara’s bra upwards to expose her… “Come on Joe, you will never find any thing in there!” echoed Marsha’s nauseating, piercing voice , totally destroying the moment. “Sara? Sara? echoed Mary’s voice. “Sara, are you ok?” said Marsha shaking Sara. “What? Why are you shaking me? Where is Joe? What is going on?” said a confused Sara as she was helped up off the control room floor. “He went to do his rounds. He wants us to wait for him. But when he left the control room, you passed out. You kept moaning, Joe! Joe!, Yes, don’t stop Joe!” explained Marsha. “Ok, Ok shut up already. I get the picture.” said Sara brushing herself off.” When did Joe leave the control room?” asked a confused Sara. “Right after he told us where the contracts were. You looked a peaked. Then when he left for his rounds, you fainted.” said Mary laughing.

“What are you doing? Are you signing the contract, Sara? asked Mary “No, I am writing Joe a note.” said Sara as she finished writing the note and placing it in Mary’s and Marsha’s signed contracts folder. By this time, Marsha and Mary grabbed the 3-60’s Beatniks in Granny boots nude replicas, including Sara’s enhanced version. Sara grabbed her doll and stuffed it under her arm. “These dammed things are not light! Ok girls, lets go to the platform.” said Sara, leading them out of the control room. As the 3-60’s Beatniks in Granny Boots climbed back on top of the grating platform with their respective replicas, Sara took out the pill bottle and took out three thin pills that resembled windowpane acid tabs with a plasma vortex picture, then pocketed the pill bottle. “Open your mouths.” said Sara to Mary and Marsha. Sara placed a tab on Mary’s tongue, then Marsha’s tongue, then finally, one her own tongue. They all swallowed the tabs in unison. Immediately, the factory around them started to spin, so much so, that the area formed a vortex of steal grating, pipes, valves, concrete, automation equipment, computers, and the new run of Sara, minus the enhancement, Mary and Marsha dolls being produced on the automation assembly line. Mary, Marsha and Sara were now clutching each other and their replicas tightly. As the vortex grew stronger, it formed a tunnel spinning seemingly at light speed, sucking the 3-60’s Beatniks in Granny Boots and their replicas up into the spinning tornado like path, transporting them at light speed to their hopeful destination…..

Now in the hotel room, thanks to Sara’s ingenuity using the key card, Marsha, who had already monopolized the washroom taking a hot leisurely bubble bath, and Mary who was totally zapped by the big screen TV. Sara who was totally consumed by the array of magazines complementary from the hotel’s lobby after she discovered that the Bible, room service menus and tour guide publications were the only reading material in the room. “Look at the advertising in these magazines! More commercial scribbling then literature. Not much to read!” said Sara already finished with 3 of them. “Did you notice all the people with portable phones? I do not think I seen a phone booth anywhere, let alone a payphone. I wonder if we should get one?” said Mary during a string of commercials. “There is a phone right here. Not that we have anyone to call anyway, Einstein!” said Sara with a smirk as she continued reading the Fortune magazine. “Come on Marsha, get the hell out of there. You been in there for an hour! I want to take a bath some time in the future!” yelled Mary as she jumped up from the couch and ran towards the washroom and started pounding on the door. “Ok, ok, I am almost done. I will be out in a sec!” said Marsha muffled through the door. “Yeah, that usually means 20 minutes.” said Mary flopping back on the couch. “No wonder the food and hotel rooms are so expensive. The inflation rate has sky rocketed and it seems like the so called financial experts just keep spending more paper money that is only backed up by bad debts and more paper money and phoney resources we do not have or have stolen from 3rd world countries. Sadia Arabia owns 3 to 6 percent of our economy , and if it was not for Canada, we would have no resources close by to steal because we have depleted all of our own resources.” said Sara throwing the fortune magazine in the trash container. “We might as well be part of the commonwealth! Freedom my ass! I guess all the privileged idiots from the sixties, once they grew into power, sold out our country for a six pack, a couple of acid tabs, and some downers. And the Queen of England, she is still alive! Man she looks petrified!” said Sara picking up the People magazine.

“Really? That is so cool!” said Marsha as she exited the bathroom wearing a white terry towel robe complimentary from the hotel and her hair wrapped in a towel. Mary jumped up and quickly ran into the washroom and closed the door. “You would think that, Queen prissy of sissy island. Maybe she would hire you to clean the royal toilets!” said Sara chuckling. “I do not thinks so! Besides, I do not know how to use one of those toilet thingy’s anyway.” said Marsha with a sour look. Sara just looked back at Marsha in serious Confucius contemplation. “Ok rose-butt! The secret code of the seriously confused.” said Sara now finished with the people magazine tossing it in the trash can. “You know Sara, sometimes I wonder if you have any clue at all of what you say, because it makes no sense to me!” said Marsha grabbing the People magazine out of the trash can and flopping on the couch. “That doesn’t surprise me Marsha. I mean, you are the only person that could score lower then 600 on you SAT. What did you do, spell your name wrong?” asked Sara now reading the Bible. “Sara, I got 788.” said Marsha flipping through pages of People magazine. “Yeah, after your second try. What did you have to do get a second try? Give the test master a hand job?” said Sara shaking her head. “I have my ways. And it had nothing to do with sex.” said Marsha proudly. “That does not surprise me at all, Miss Alligator Moat Around my Britches. Opening your three lock box would only be followed by a mystery wrapped in an enigma.” said Sara stretching.

Marsha, who was rummaging through her clothes and smelling them, came across a pill bottle and set it on the glassed topped coffee table. “We really have to wash these clothes.” said Marsha throwing them on the floor. “They have a laundry service. When I get out of my clothes to take a shower, you or Mary call room service. Five dollars per article would roughly be 20 dollars each. So I will give you 60 dollars. That should be more then enough, even in this place, to do all our clothes.” said Sara entering the washroom while Mary came out bundled in another terry towel robe. A second later, Sara’s clothes came flying out of the washroom and hitting Mary. “Watch it Sara!” said Mary as she threw her clothes on top of Marsha’s. “Call room service Mary. I can’t seem to get through.” said Marsha hanging up the phone. “Ok doll. Who am I calling?” said Mary picking up the phone. “Room service. Then ask for laundry.” said Marsha flipping through the channels already mastering the remote to the TV. “Ok.” said Mary dialing room service. “Hello, how can I help you?” said Pete from the front desk. “Can we be connected to laundry?” asked Mary. “One moment. Hold Please.” said Pete as the phone went silent. “Laundry.” answered a woman with a Latino accent. “We have some clothes to wash. Can you come get them and have them cleaned? How much would we have to give you?” asked Mary. “You can do the laundry yourself, or we can professionally clean them for you. We can just add it to your bill.” said the Latino woman. “That would be great because we do not have a change of clothes. How long would that take?” asked Mary. “We offer one hour service. So if you need them done now, please put all the clothes in a bag from the closet marked “dry cleaning” and leave it outside your door. It will be picked up right away and done in one hour.” said the Latino woman. “Ok, room 333.” said Mary hanging up the phone. Mary grabbed all the clothes and put them in three bags from the closet according whos clothes were whos and set the bags outside the door.

Later, sitting on the floor in a circle, back to back, beside the phoney fireplace or plasma generator if prefer, was Sara, Marsha, and Mary in their terry towel house coats compliments of the hotel. Each of them were re-stringing there beads and leather strips into their long hair. Each of them had their own style which was known by only them. Sara was doing Marsha’s, Marsha was doing Mary’s and Mary was Doing Sara’s. They were all intensely concentrating on getting them perfect and tight without making it uncomfortable for each other. They were so well rehearsed that none of them made a sound in retaliation. Then they all stood and looked into the wide living room area mirror. They looked and moved their heads in almost unison as they examined the perfection of each other’s work. This is one activity they could all agree on and be happy. “I wonder if those clothes are ready yet?” said Sara jumping on the couch, grabbing the remote, then flipping through the channels. “I will call.” said Mary going towards the phone. As Sara was flipping through the channels, she stopped and went back a couple of channels. It was the adult section of the menu and Sara noticed “Free previews of the new releases” with a preview clips playing in the background. “Ehwww! I could never do anything like that on camera!” said Marsha sitting beside Sara. “What do you mean? That is what they expected us to do with Zack!” said Sara chuckling. “Get real! No way!” said Marsha turning a bit red. “Look at this guys! “That looks like Zack!” said Sara turning it up. Mary came over and flopped down beside Marsha. “Yes it is!” said Mary gawking at the screen. “A new breakthrough in porn, starring Zack Penice, Ron Scaringme, and Peter Morph, produced by Dwayne Zainy, based on book written by Johnny Sod. 3-50’s Greasers in Tranny Boots. Here is a small exert for your enjoyment.” said the preview narrator. “Sometimes you still awaken during the night and still hear that awful reaming of the rams. You think if you can save poor Jackingboy, that the awful reaming of the rams will stop, don’t you?” asked the Dr. Pervo character. “Well, I did not say I want it to completely stop, doctor!” said Zack’s character as he started to bend over. Before the camera zoomed into Zack exposing his buttocks, Sara click off the TV and threw the remote across the room.

“We really got to get back. We have to warn people of what is to come.” said Sara folding her arms. “The laundry woman said they will have our clothes ready in a few minutes.” said Mary. Just then there was a knock on the door. Mary jumped up and answered the door. “Thank you.” said Mary as she closed the door and brought over the clothes all on hangers and wrapped in dry-cleaning plastic. “What are these pills?” asked Sara holding the bottle and examining the label. “Oh, those are the pills Timothy Geary gave us. He gave me the bottle saying we will need them to get back, whatever that means.” said Marsha as Mary handed over her clothes. “Marsha, you twit, this is our ticket back home. You had them all along and did not know it. Wow.” said Sara reading the label. “Sorry, how was I to know that?” asked Marsha dressing in her clothes. “At least she has them! Now we can get back!” said Mary also dressing. “Well, we have to go back to the same point of origin or unpredictable results will occur, or so reads the label. So we have to head back to that factory.” said Sara placing the pill bottle down starting to dress. “Goodie, we can get our dolls!” said Mary and Marsha in unison. “Oh yeah, our dolls. How could I forget that?” said Sara rolling her eyes. Sara finished dressing, placing the pill bottle in her vest pocket. “Lets hit the road girls!” said Sara, placing the remaining cash back in her bra, leading the way to the door. “Money is safe and secure where no male’s hand would think to enter!” said Marsha grinning at Mary. “Speak for yourself, most voted to forestall the immaculate conception! And make sure you have your keys in case we have to return” said Sara opening the door. “Ok Madam Tyrannize.” said Mary, while laughing with Marsha, walking into the hall.

“Look, there is a place we can eat, Slump-a-Round Coffee shop. Sounds like a place where we can be at home.” said Sara, leading the way across the street. Mary pulled open the door and the 3-60’s Beatniks in Granny Boots peered into the coffee house through their circular rose shaded glasses. Sara led the way in towards a table to sit. As they all sat down they looked over the place with curiosity. “Why are they playing elevator music?” asked Mary with a frowned expression. “At least it is clean and smells like coffee and not bodily excretions!” said Marsha breathing normal and appearing more comfortable. Sara who was already reading the coffee and food menus looked up at the coffee house surroundings and decorum. “It is a bit too clean in here. No one is smoking. And where is the bean bags and poetry stage? Looks like a place my mother would take me.” said Sara as she resumed reading the menu. Mary and Marsha started reading the menus. “Look at the prices. $15.00 for an tuna salad sandwich, salad and a café latte. And that is the special!” said Marsha in amazement. “Yeah, expensive!” said Mary blankly, being irritated by the music. “Look, we are in 2016. What do you expect? Besides, we have the money, so lets eat.” said Sara looking around for a waitress or waiter. “If we have to listen to this crap, then the meal should be half price.” said Mary slumping in her chair. “It is probably very popular music of this time, even though it sounds like Benny Goodman on acid.” said Sara zeroing on the man behind the cafeteria styled counter.

“Sir? Sir? Where are the waiters? We would like to order?” said Sara in an authoritative tone. “You have to order here, at the counter.” said the man in a geeky, nauseating tone. The man had over moussed, short hair that looked like he just woke up and an earing in his nose with large black pointy eyebrows. He was dressed in black dress pants and a brown dress shirt with a logo “Slump-a-Round Coffee Shop”, and a name tag that read “George”. Sara, Marsha and Mary left their seats and walked towards the counter. “I will have the Rueben sandwich and salad, one of those large oatmeal cookies, and your cappuccino extra zap extreme” said Sara looking very hungry. “I will have one of those 6 inch turkey subs with everything, a salad and a café latte with extra chocolate sprinkles.” said Mary. “Give me the special and a soda water.” said Marsha inspecting the counter for cleanliness. There was three stages of preparation, George, who took the order and readied the beverages, Sally, a blond girl in the same uniform with six earrings in each ear, and her hair in a modern twisted B-52 hair due rendition who was preparing the sandwiches and salads, and Jeff, a black man with short black curly hair in the same uniform, with his pants hanging down below his hips, exposing his boxer shorts, prepared the containers, utensils and trays and attended the cash register.

As the food was prepared, Jeff looked over at Sara. “Is that all together or separate?” asked Jeff tallying the cost. “Don’t we pay after we are done?” asked Sara. “No, you have to pay before.” said Jeff. Sara being hungry did not want to argue. “All together.” said Sara. “That will be $52.67 with taxes. And will you be leaving a 10, 15, or 20 % tip today?” asked Jeff. “Normally, for this type of service, I would pass on the tip, however, I will leave a 20 % tip. So, Jeff please buy a belt or suspenders.” said Sara, chuckling at Jeff’s pants as she handed him the cash. As Jeff gave Sara the change, Mary and Marsha grabbed their trays and went to their table. Sara then grabbed her tray and looked back at the coffee house employees. ” And, Spock, Sally and Jeff? Captain Kirk just called and asked that you all report for duty on the enterprise leaving very shortly from the drive-in theater nearest you.” said Sara as she carried her tray to the table. Jeff, Sally, and George looked at each other and started to laugh. “They don’t get more intellectual as time goes on do they?” mumbled Sara as she sat down with her tray. “What?” said Mary with a mouth full of food. “Mary, eat like a lady, you floozed out sink disposal!” commanded Sara as she started to eat her Rueben sandwich. “Yes, Madam Icicle!” said Mary taking a drink of her café latte with extra chocolate sprinkles. Marsha, who was eating small bites of her sandwich and wiping her mouth daintily, and quietly sipping her café latte followed by small sips of her soda water, caught Sara staring at her while taking a drink of her cappuccino extra zap extreme. “What? At least I eat with some manners and not like a pre-union trucker with wholes in his boots!” said Marsha in smocking manner.

“If I didn’t know better, I would say that you were spawned from a pre-18th century wanna be British royal family in pinky boots.” said Sara taking another bite of her Rueben sandwich. Mary, now finishing the last bite of her turkey sub with everything on it, gulped down her café latte with extra chocolate sprinkles. “So where are we off to now?” asked Mary letting out a small burp. “I don’t know, Miss whirlpool of gluttony? Perhaps we should get a hotel for the night? ” said Sara still drinking her cappuccino and munching her oatmeal cookie. “Right O, Commander Baroness!” said Mary cleaning her circular rose shaded glasses. “Eat your salad Mary. We paid enough for it!” said Sara eating her salad. “I am taking it with me in this cool clear container.” said Mary. Marsha, who was finished half eating everything and still sipping on her soda water, caught Sara looking at her and shaking her head. “This cappuccino extra zap extreme is giving me a buzz.” said Sara as she jumped up and walked towards the large bay window, jumping upon the sill and started to chant a poem. “Time, is the trouble, love is the double, Mary, who consumes all the food rubble, Travelled to a time of strange, where sensibility is out of range, and sexuality is totally deranged.” chanted Sara as George grabbed her arm and gently guided her off the window sill while all the customers, Mary, Marsha and the staff was watching in amazement. “Cajoled into a bad movie, where the feelings are far from groovy, and Marsha has metal panties, where no man can see anyway! So may she be more like Faye Dunaway, so the world may repopulate, if only Marsha would copulate….”Ok, ok Sara, lets go. said Marsha and Mary as they grabbed each of Sara’s arms, taking over for George, guiding Sara out the door.

Marsha and Mary slowly walked Sara down the street. In the corner of her eye, Sara caught a glimpse of a Howard Johnson Hotel sign. “Hey girls, that is where we are spending the night. In a Howard Johnson. Good to see they are still around.” said Sara now back to normal leading the way to the Howard Johnson Hotel. Inside the lobby, Sara went to the reception desk. “We need a room.” said Sara. “Do you have a credit card?” asked the reception manger. “Not in this time.” said Sara. “We need a major credit card.” said the reception manager. “I can pay cash. How much for 3 of us in one room?” asked Sara pulling out her wad of money. “If you pay cash, we have to have a deposit of $120.00 that you get back when you check out. So for 3 of you in one room we have a double room with a pull out bed. Would that be fine?” asked the reception manager. “That will do.” said Sara. “That is $275.00 per night plus the deposit.” said the reception manager. “Here you go, Pete.” said Sara reading his name tag. Pete then handed her a small container that held 3 cards the size of credit cards. “Where are the keys, what are these?” asked Sara concerned. “Those are your door keys on the 3rd floor, elevator just over there. Just slide them into the slot in the door. One key for each of you.” said Pete politely. “Ok Pete.” said Sara as she handed Mary and Marsha their key. Sara lead the way to the elevator. “Fancy type place.” said Mary, “Very clean, and it smells nice, and I need to take a bath” said Marsha. “I hope they have something to read for this price!” said Sara watching the elevator light as it hit the 3rd floor and opened the door.

“At least I am able to get into my bra, Miss Full body Iron Girdle.” responded Sara to Marsha as she led Mary and Marsha to audition room 3. Mary grabbed the door knob and opened the door cautiously and the 3-60’s Beatniks in Granny Boots poked their heads into the room and looked through their circular, rose shaded glasses. “Come in please.” said a man standing in the middle of the dingy, poorly painted room setup with tri-angled lighting and two cameramen with digital cameras and a black leather sofa. On the back wall was a tacky poster of a seedy woman, mostly nude, dressed only in an eye patch and red bandana holding a pen that looked like a phallic writing “PiratesJiveHoes.com” in pearl white lettering between her spread legs. “Cute.” said Sara hesitant to enter. As Sara, Masha and Mary entered, they seen another man dressed in a dark tee shirt with the same logo “PiratesJiveHoes.com”, blue jeans, bare feet with every square centimeter off his arms covered in tats. “Welcome, my name is Dwayne, the producer and director and this is Zack, our male actor that will be performing with you girls in this audition. I will be standing by and will start and stop the filming if necessary. Zack will start off with a series of questions and all you three have to do is answer his questions and follow his lead and instructions.” said Dwayne in a polite mannerism. “So we do not have any lines or q-cards to read?” asked Sara looking at Zack with a sceptical expression. “No, this is unscripted, an improvisation if you will. No need because the questions will be straight forward and the instructions will be straight forward.” answered Dwayne as he adjusted the lights. “Please, sit down, all three of you, on the sofa. I love your costumes.” said Dwayne looking them over while pointing the lights towards the sofa. “Costumes?” said Sara as they all sat on the sofa.

“OK, roll it, you can start Zack.” said Dwayne. “It really smells like urine in here.” whispered Marsha to Sara. “Oh don’t be a wuss puss Marsha.” whispered Sara still examining Zack with scrutiny. “So, what is your names? asked Zack in a condescending, DJ type voice. “Sara.” answered Sara. “Marsha.” answered Marsha breathing shallow in disgust. “Mary.” said Mary naïvely. “So how old are you girls?” asked Zack trying to be superior. “We are old enough. We are not jail bait if that is why you are asking.” said Sara smartly. Zack looked over at the Dwayne. Dwayne motioned Zack to continue. “So what do you girls like to do, are you in college? asked Zach a bit unsure. “I like many activities, reading, going to the library, concerts, museums.” answered Sara starting to get bored. “I like dancing, listening to music, especially Janis. I love shopping and going for soda.” said Marsha trying to look enthusiastic while breathing shallow. “I like do anything.” said Mary with a blank naïve expression. “So do you girls like dick?” said Zack trying to maintain superiority. “Dick? who is Dick?” asked Mary. “I think he is one of the cameramen.” said Marsha still breathing shallow. “Oh my God. Just shut up you two and I will answer for you. God. He meant dick as in penis.” said Sara getting analytically frustrated. “Phallic-worship? let me see, only in the true sense of eroticism.” answered Sara looking Zack in the eyes. Zack again looking at Dwayne and Dwayne motioning Zack to continue. “So you do like giving head?” asked Zack in a untoned mannerism feeling a bit unbalanced. “I believe I answered that question Zack, but being here is leading me to believe that this place is a collective of undisciplined erotism, thoughtless sexual escapades, licentious folly and satyriasis.” continued Sara not being impressed with Zack mentally.

Zach went towards Dwayne and whispered. Dwayne whispered back and motioned Zack to continue. “So Mary, do you like to get gagged by dick?” said Zack appearing more intimidated. “Gagged? If dick means penis, and gagged means…” said Mary getting cut off by Marsha. “You know, when you stick your fingers down your throat to vomit after a big meal so you don’t gain weight. It stinks though, kind of like it stinks in here. A mixture of urine and vomit” said Marsha breathing more shallow. Sara looked at Mary having a blank expression and Marsha looking very nauseated started to laugh. “Zack, if you are trying to refer to the perfect sexual union, fruitful orgasms from perfect states of erections, clitoral and penile, genital harmony, well I am afraid you are referring to the wrong orifice!” said Sara in a composed but irritated manner. Zack now in a total state of inadequacy went over to Dwayne and whispered again. Dwayne whispered back and motioned Zack to continue. Zack opened his tight jeans and exposed his large penis. “How would you like to talk with this in your mouth, Sara?!” said Zack in a retaliating tone holding his penis in his right hand. “Wow, that is very big! Nice!” said Mary looking with excitement. “Ewwh, I could never touch one with a tattoo on it! Gross! And it stinks!” said Marsha ready to faint. “You two take the cake let me tell you. Well Zack, that is a large phallic I have to admit. Does it ever become erect? Looks a bit limp. Impotent. Are in repose of your libido? Even fellatio requires some erective penetration.” said Sara looking thoroughly unamused and bored.

“Why don’t you take those stupid costumes off and I will ram it down your throat and we will see who is limp.” said Zack in total retaliatory frustration stroking his penis as it remained limp. Sara, Mary and Marsha looked at each other and started to laugh. “Zachary, to continue with this escapade would only produce a uneventful laborious copulation and sexual disquiet. To be honest, this whole experience has only produced false phalli and coital failure coming from a person sexually perverted who has abused his sexual organ from flagellation, that would only lead to inefficient penetration and orgasmic delays. So before you give me anymore of your labia, maybe you should re-evaluate your approach to the female species.” said Sara in literary dominance. Just then, Zach being speechless did up his pants and walked out of the audition room. The cameramen shut off their cameras and Dwayne stood there scratching his head while turning off the lighting. “Jesus Sara, you did not have to say those things to Zack. You really upset him. What did you say to him anyway?” said Mary blankly. Marsha stood up and look at the rear of her skirt. “I hope my I did not stain my clothes.” said Marsha looking and examining herself and breathing shallow. “We spent 20 minutes on this couch, on film Dwayne, so that means, according to the audition contract, you owe us $300.00 a piece.” said Sara standing up. “Come on Mary, lets get out of here before I really get sick.” said Marsha opening the door. “Marsha, you prissy cheerleading snob witch.” said Sara looking at Dwayne waiting for the money. “Speak for yourself drive-in iceberg.” said Marsha as she and Mary walked out of the audition room.

“Well Sara, I have to be impressed by your sexual knowledge in a biblical sense. But unfortunately, we cannot sell that type of film and make any money.” said Dwayne folding his arms as the cameramen put away their gear. “Dwayne. Your male actor did not get it up, so that is not our fault. We answered every question. It is not my fault he cannot handle a woman with a brain.” said Sara liking Dwayne mentally. “Well Sara, you definitely have a brain, but you are a bit above average in that respect. However, we still cannot sell that type of film, at least not in this market.” said Dwayne. “You seem like a smart guy. Would you may be like to take me for a drink?” said Sara teasingly. “I certainly would but I am married. But because you have made my day with that request, here is the $900.00. Who knows, may be this film could be educational.” said Dwayne handing over the money. “One thing that does confuse me Sara, is why the 60’s costume and no 60’s lingo?” asked Dwayne. “You are intelligent. You figure it out!” said Sara putting the money in her bra and backing away from Dwayne smiling. Sara then opened the door and left. After she closed the door, Marsha and Mary were standing there smirking. “Take me for a drink? Sara has a crush on someone, I don’t believe it.” said Mary. “The ice queen was melted somewhat by a guy? I am telling your boyfriend!” said Marsha giggling. “Shut up and lets go eat, river floozy and old maid!” said Sara heading towards the exit. Mary and Marsha followed giggling.