Whitney (NBC) – Second season premiere. You know what? I don’t really hate Whitney. The show — and, by definition, its titular star — kind of became shorthand for “EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH TELEVISION” back when NBC was screwing around with “THE SHOWS WE ALL LIKE,” and it definitely isn’t my particular cup of bourbon tea, but it’s probably not as bad as people make it out to be when they demonize it for all of NBC’s sins. I dunno. Maybe I’m wrong. It’s not like I watch it or anything.

Modern Family/Nashville (ABC) – Matthew Broderick guest stars on Modern Family tonight. There should be more movies about people taking days off. Dominic Toretto’s Day Off, Brian O’Conner’s Day Off, Letty Whatsherface’s Day Off, The Characters Ludacris And Tyrese Plays’s Day Off, etc. All the greats.

Eddie Murphy: One Night Only (Spike) – A two-hour tribute to Eddie Murphy. I don’t know why this is on Spike.

Moonshiners (Discovery) – From TV Guide: “The arrival of a new lawman makes the moonshiners nervous in the second-season premiere.” You know what they say about nervous moonshiners, don’t you? Yeah, me neither. Something folksy and Southern, probably.

The Soup (E!) – I lost track of this show for a while when E! moved it to Wednesdays, but it remains appointment television as long as it continues to alert us about the existence of shows like Untold Stories of the ER, as Burnsy reminded me recently.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Martin Short and Suraj Sharma on Kimmel; Alec Baldwin on Letterman; Billy Crystal on Ferguson; Helen Hunt, Pauly D, and Kylie Minogue on Leno; Chris Tucker and Kellen Lutz on Fallon; and Kristen Stewart and Glenn Howerton on Conan.

I for one would like a writing job on Nazi Hunter, I love the idea of taking old sitcom and movie stars and making them the nazi’s Nazi Hunter chases each week. For the series premiere I’d like to throw out Dick Van Dyke as a former S.S. commandant

There were at least 6 occasions last year where I watched Whitney, simply because it was on at the same time as some of my favorites. I just never bothered changing the channel. I didn’t hate it at all. Perfectly acceptable viewing with no expectations.
Stop hating.

I just don’t think Whitney is funny, nor do I care about the characters enough to go, “well they’re trying!”… Although I was giving Big Bang Theory episodes a shot yesterday after previously openly dissing the show to friends and found myself chuckling a few times, so I think I blew a funny fuse.

I agree with the Evil Twin, I hated Whitney when I thought it was a game of musical chairs that meant there would be no Parks & Rec or Community. But I don’t hate Whitney, I just think it’s worthless. It’s bland, cynical, mean-spirited, and easy with no effort to create compelling characters.

Are you asking if I would watch Whitney if it were a weekly themed pornography half hour starring Whitney Cummings? “This week: Nurse Whitney inspects some cocks” or whatever, I don’t know how to write porno tag lines, but you get what I mean. Would I watch that?