I didn’t mean to show up to my own blog, drop a bomb, then immediately soft-shoe shuffle away and not write for weeks on end but that is what happened and I at least have a valid excuse. I moved. Unless you’re some kind of goddamn wizard whose never had to do this (if that’s […]

We were lying down on the twin-sized mattress she claimed as a bed in the loft space she shared with two other roommates. Our bodies were on top of a bizarre dinosaur themed quilt she’d picked up second hand years ago and insisted on carting along with her on her travels. I couldn’t help thinking […]

Cue scene: The extremely cute girl I’ve been talking to texts me an adorable picture of her drinking red wine. Excitedly I immediately reply, myself posing with my own glass of Pinot Noir. Oh I’m sorry, did I say glass of Pinot? That would imply that I was an actual adult human who drinks adult […]

There’s a cute girl who works for UPS that comes by my office almost everyday. She makes my gaydar ping so last week I decided to be bold and finally say something to her. What suave statement did I make to get her attention? Did I tell her the color brown suited her? That it […]

It’s Tuesday night at 5:30 PM and I’m exhausted. “How?” you wonder, “You don’t have a job or anywhere you need to be except a yoga class right now.” You’ll continue: “And I don’t feel particularly bad for you and your extreme first-world problems…in fact, I find you rather annoying and I don’t even want […]

It was Saturday night and we were careening down a curvy road headed towards the Cache National Forest. We’d planned on going to Causey Reservoir the following day and figured why not turn it into all-out soiree that included camping under the stars, sitting around a fire, and being one with nature & shit. Once […]

In the last few years the world has finally caught onto a phenomenon that has fascinated me for the better part of a decade. That phenomenon is the intricate ballet, beauty, and art of Mom Dancing. You know what I’m talking about – it used to embarrass the shit out of you at weddings, bar […]