For the Catholic Church:Notre Dame: Montgomery BurnsBeen around since the beginning of time; the amount of money and power he controls is massive, absurd, and quite frankly, a little scary. The kind of guy everyone in town loves to hate — but they’d switch places with him in half a second.

And finally closer to home:Wisconsin: Barney GumbleStout, hard-drinking, the life of every party — yet even when things are going well, they’re never very far from total collapse. (Also one of those great-minds-think-alike situations.)