tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-138485042015-02-25T13:05:05.220-06:00The Fortress of SoliloquyOne blog in search of a reader.Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.comBlogger1222125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-55149057353320920172015-01-20T20:26:00.003-06:002015-02-25T13:05:05.239-06:00Spilling the SecretsMarvel <a href="">announced today</a> what's been rumored for some time, that the upcoming Secret Wars storyline will be the "end" of the regular Marvel and Ultimate universes. I have more thoughts on that, which I'll post later, but for now I thought I'd make some predictions. <br /><br />Characters moving into the Post-Secret Wars Marvel Universe<br /><ul><li><b>Miles Morales</b>: Pretty much a given, right? I have to imagine that a major driving force behind this whole event was how to salvage Miles from the smoldering, decaying wreckage that is the rest of the Ultimate Universe. How Miles will fit into the universe going forward, who knows?<br /><li><b>Spider-Gwen</b>: Basically another given. Marvel already teased the idea of bringing back Gwen Stacy in this story (perhaps more than one), and with a character who's such a breakout hit already, they'd be fools not to fold her into the Marvel Universe proper. How she'll interact with Spider-Man and the rest of the Spider-Family is anyone's guess, but we've had a universe with a Jean Grey dealing with fallout from her dead counterpart for a couple of years now, so that's not too surprising. <br /><li><b>Japanese Spider-Man</b>: We can hope, right? <br /></ul>Resurrections <ul><li><b>Professor Xavier</b>: Dead since Avengers vs. X-Men, Chuck seems like the likeliest resurrection, possibly leading a rebooted younger X-Men or something. I hope we don't see too much rebooting (because rebooting always leads to repeating), but I'd be surprised if this weren't what all the Red Onslaught stuff were all ultimately leading to. <br /><li><b>Jean Grey</b>: Another candidate who seems likely, given how long she's been off the table, and the kind of opportunity this story presents. <br /><li><b>Doctor Octopus</b>: Dead since the end of the Superior Spider-Man series, Spidey's greatest foe isn't likely to stay gone for long (and didn't the last time he died). Frankly, I'd like to see Ock return sooner rather than later, and in a newly rejuvenated body. <br /><li><b>Uatu the Watcher</b>: Someone's got to keep track of whatever universe(s) result from this shebang. <br /><li><b>Ben Reilly</b>: Something about Spider-Verse has made me weirdly nostalgic for Ben, and I've found myself with a perverse desire to revisit the Clone Saga. Bringing Ben and his kickass costume back would satisfy my craving, at least, and would allow us to have an Avengers team made up entirely of Spider-People. <br /><li><b>Dum-Dum Dugan</b>: I've said since the spoilers came out of Original Sin that the whole "Dugan was just an LMD" (and, for that matter, "Nick Fury's Infinity Formula wore off") plot element would be gone with the next retcon. Well, here's the next retcon. Maybe it'll happen, maybe not, but it's among the easiest plot annoyances to fix. <br /></ul>Restorations <ul><li><b>Thor Odinson</b>: Thor has been Mjolnirless for a couple of months now, for reasons that have yet to be entirely explained. I'm really enjoying Aaron's run, so I'd actually be pretty bummed to see the status quo reset so quickly, but I can also imagine that Marvel wants their universe looking pretty cinematic by the time Age of Ultron hits theaters in May.<br /><li><b>Tony Stark, No Longer Superior</b>: This one's a bit dicier; since it seems like Tony's probably going to be at fault for Ultron in the movie, it might work well to have jerkass Tony in the comics too. But I'd be surprised if he weren't back in the red-and-yellow armor by May.<br /><li><b>Steve Rogers, Captain America</b>: Much like Thor, I'd like to see Falcon keep the armor for awhile longer, but I won't be shocked if Steve is rejuvenated and shield-wielding come May.<br /><li><b>Mary Jane Watson-Parker</b>: It's unlikely, to be sure, but at the very least now would be a good time to make it so that Peter and MJ at least never made a deal with the Devil to avoid a divorce. <br /></ul>Continuity Changes <ul><li><b>Nick Fury, <strike>Sr.</strike></b>: Marvel's been angling for awhile to make Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury the official one of the regular Marvel Universe, first by introducing his long-lost son and putting the original in the toybox for awhile, then by making him the old "Man on the Wall" and then "The Unseen." Now would be the perfect time to re-write history so that Nick Fury has always been a darker-complexioned fellow, which may likely mean erasing his World War II service. This may be the biggest hurdle against bringing Dum-Dum back, since he may be left back with the Howling Commandos. <br /><li><b>All-New X-Men</b>: At this point, it'd be a little surprising to see either the young All-New X-Men team or their adult counterparts removed from the universe, but I have a hard time imagining us going forward with two teams of the same characters functioning in the same universe at the same time. Then again, it's entirely possible (given the structure of this event) that Marvel's <i>not</i> using Secret Wars to streamline timelines and eliminate characters, in which case we may very well end up with more than just two teams of time-displaced X-Men working in tandem. Might be nice to clear up some of the more complicated characters, even if it means making <a href="http://www.rachelandmiles.com/xmen/">Rachel and Miles's</a> cold-opens less entertaining. <br /><li><b>Captain Marvels</b>: I wouldn't be surprised at all to see a streamlined timeline where Carol Danvers was only the first or second Captain Marvel, and not the latest in a relatively long legacy. <br /><li><b>Jarvis</b>: I suspect we'll see something closer to the cinematic universe, where Jarvis the Butler is a contemporary of Howard Stark's, and J.A.R.V.I.S. the computer construct serves Tony and the Avengers. <br /><li><b>S.H.I.E.L.D. everywhere</b>: Similarly, to bring things more in line with the MCU, I suspect we'll see a lot more SHIELD integration into everyday superheroics, similar to the way the Ultimate Universe worked. <br /><li><b>Hydra everywhere</b>: And where SHIELD goes in cinematic terms, Hydra can't be far behind. <br /><li><b>Inhumans everywhere</b>: Marvel's been pushing the Inhumans hard, and I think we might end up seeing some kind of synthesis of Inhumans and Mutants, or the revelation that a lot of the characters we thought were Mutants are actually Inhumans, or something in that vein. There's already apparently some movement in that direction for Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch, and this would be another way for Marvel to break off from the Fox-owned licenses. <br /></ul><br />What are your predictions for the post-Secret Wars Marvel Universe?Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-35689255242468572062014-11-07T16:53:00.002-06:002014-11-08T09:08:17.977-06:00Examine DragonsI'm sweeping off the dirt and dust<br />I wield a trowel and I use a brush<br />I'm checking in the specimens<br /><br />We're clocking out, packing up, then heading back in a microbus<br />This is it, archaeologists<br />Whoa<br /><br />I'm in the lab, I drill into the bone<br />Enough to keep my error low<br />Wonder what's its true age, what's the true age<br />Gonna find the true age, find its true age<br />Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, it's radiometric, radiometric<br />Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, it's radiometric, radiometric<br /><br />It's in your food, don't you know,<br />It's a different carbon isotope<br />It soon decays to nitrogen<br />Whoa<br /><br />I'm cutting off, grinding up, reducing it to a graphite dust<br />Send it to the spectrometrist<br />Whoa<br /><br />It makes you up, we find it in your bones<br />And leaves and shells and thatched-roof homes<br />Helps us find the true age, find the true age<br />Calculate the true age, learn the true age<br />Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, it's radioactive, radioactive<br />Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, you're radioactive, radioactive <br /><br />One way to know when something died:<br />The ratio of carbon nuclides<br /><br />It's breaking up, it lets electrons go<br />Enough to turn a neutron pro<br />Helps us find the true age, find the true age<br />At least within a date range, specific date range<br />Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, it's radioactive, radioactive<br />Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, we're radioactive, radioactive <br />Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-33218662566470245422014-10-22T18:53:00.002-05:002014-10-22T19:16:45.075-05:00The Impetuousness of YouthDracula slipped silently into the bedroom where Van Helsing lay sleeping. The Count felt undignified, breathing through a gas mask he’d salvaged during the Great War, and hoped that his aged foe wouldn’t wake to see him in such a state. With haste, he stripped the hanging cloves of garlic from the walls and threw them out the window. Dracula removed the unsightly mask and set it gingerly on the floor, then approached the bed.<br /><br />Van Helsing slept fitfully, his breathing ragged and raspy. He had grown frail with age, and time raced against cancer to claim his final breath. Hands that once were so strong, wielding swords and stakes and silver, were now gnarled by arthritis, and Dracula imagined they could scarcely hold a pencil. He stood over the bed for a long moment, then cleared his throat.&nbsp;<br /><br />“Van Helsing.”<br /><br />The old man stirred slowly at first, but quickly returned to himself. Neither sickness nor age could dull the edge of those steely eyes, which glared at the undead Count in the moonlight.&nbsp;<br /><br />“Come to gloat?” hissed the doctor. “Or to finish me off?”&nbsp;<br /><br />“Neither,” said Dracula. “I’ve come to help.”<br /><br />“I’ll not sell my soul for the Devil’s brand of help.”<br /><br />“I am <i>not</i>—“ Dracula stopped, composed himself. “You’re dying, Van Helsing.”<br /><br />“And not by your hand, no matter how you’ve tried!”&nbsp;<br /><br />“I know,” Dracula said. “We’ve chased each other for…what, thirty years now?”<br /><br />“Thirty-eight.”&nbsp;<br /><br />“And this is how you wish to end it?”<br /><br />Van Helsing gave Dracula a puzzled look, then stifled a hard cough. “My friends and family are here, Dracula. Soon I will see my wife, my daughter. I am surrounded by love, Dracula. I would not expect you to understand.”<br /><br />Dracula looked for a long, silent moment out the window at the crescent moon. “Let me turn you.”<br /><br />“What?”<br /><br />“Let me give you back your health, your youth.”<br /><br />“Go to blazes, creature.”&nbsp;<br /><br />“You can send me there yourself! I can cleanse your sickness, give you the strength to fight once more!” <br /><br />Any angry curse Van Helsing might have uttered was swallowed in a coughing fit. Dracula waited until he finished.<br /><br />“Van—<i>Abraham</i>—if you could have cured your wife’s illness, if you could have revived your daughter, would not you have done so? Would not you do anything in your power to save them?”&nbsp;<br /><br />Van Helsing thought for a long time, and were it not for his labored breathing, Dracula might have thought he slipped away there and then. “Any earthly thing, yes," he said finally. "But I would not save their bodies only to damn their souls.”<br /><br />“I don’t need your permission, you know,” Dracula threatened. “I could turn you now, and you would spend every night for eternity chasing after me, avenging your own soul. You would never forgive me for robbing you of paradise."<br /><br />“Then do it, demon.” Van Helsing tore at his shirt, exposing his neck with trembling hands. “Or have your words more teeth than your jaws?”<br /><br />Dracula felt the rage rise up at the old man’s obstinate impudence. He lunged forward, before sentimentality could blunt his resolve, and had nearly reached his old enemy’s throat when he caught a glint of reflected moonlight at the corner of his eye. Van Helsing swung with all his diminished strength, but the sharpened silver cross found no target, only shapeless mist.&nbsp;<br /><br />Dracula solidified by the window, stooping down to retrieve his gas mask. He paused and looked back to his old adversary. Any words he might have said stuck, clotted and dry, in his throat. He dove out of the window in silence, and nothing more passed between them.<br /><br />Dracula visited Van Helsing’s gravesite only once, and only briefly. A silver-tipped crossbow bolt broke his reverie, sailing past his head so closely that it nearly parted his hair. He spun around, hissing. Dracula was not surprised to see Quincey Harker, who had been expertly trained these last twenty years by old Van Helsing.<br /><br />Dracula <i>was</i> surprised to see the young boy holding the crossbow.<br /><br />“Good shot, Bram!” Quincey clapped his son on the shoulder. “But aim for the heart, not the head.” <br /><br />“Yes, father,” said the child, loading another bolt. “I shan’t miss this time.”<br /><br />Dracula leapt upward and soared into the air on leathery wings, feeling a weariness that no fresh-drawn blood would ease.&nbsp;<br /><br />The vampire withdrew to his estate, staying only long enough to arrange long-term travel to Geneva. More than a century of rumors whispered between Swiss schoolchildren or around campfires had transformed Castle Frankenstein into a thing of horrifying legend, untouched even by those who might seek to tear it down. Dracula was one of few old enough to remember the true story of that house, and one of even fewer estranged enough from humanity to know its sole occupant. That building, once a laboratory, now a hermitage, would offer Dracula the solitude he so craved.<br /><br />Adam Frankenstein proved a gracious host, and welcomed even what little company Dracula provided. But weeks turned into months, and Dracula spent more and more time in his coffin. He refused to eat, even as Adam broke his exile to retrieve fresh goats and sheep to satiate his guest’s hunger.&nbsp;<br /><br />“Vlad, you have to eat something,” Adam pleaded through the thick wooden door. “Come on, it’s still bleating.”&nbsp;<br /><br />There was no response.&nbsp;<br /><br />“I know what you’re going through, believe me. Come out, and we can talk about it.”<br /><br />After another moment of silence, Adam unlocked the door and led the goat in. “I’m going to leave this here for when you get hungry.” As he left, he turned back to face the coffin once more. “You can’t spend the rest of eternity locked up like this, Vlad. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”<br /><br />The readiness was slow in coming. Dracula would eventually eat the meals Adam left for him, but never even left the basement chamber anymore. Adam knew what it was like to want solitude, to lose loved ones, even to watch the endless years pass steadily by. But he did not know how to help, so he turned as always to his library. He read for days.<br /><br />The letters and telegraphs and messengers had all been sent weeks before, and with the night finally approaching, Adam felt an unfamiliar feeling of excitement. His plan was meticulous, and would surely bring an end to Dracula’s depression. The guests began arriving an hour after sunset, with the moon glowing full and yellow, low in the autumn sky. Adam greeted them at the door, each ghoul and ghost and creature, some familiar, some he’d only heard of through stories. Crackly phonograph music echoed through the castle, and Adam wondered what stories the villagers might tell of the strange night when monsters reveled at Castle Frankenstein.&nbsp;<br /><br />Adam stood once more outside the wooden door to the basement chamber. “Come on, Vlad. Everyone is here for you. They want to meet the great Count Dracula!”&nbsp;<br /><br />“Go away,” Dracula muttered, barely audible over the thumping music from upstairs.&nbsp;<br /><br />Adam's enormous shoulders dropped, but he was resolute. “I’m going to go back upstairs. If I don’t see you up there in ten minutes, I’ll drag you out of that coffin myself.”&nbsp;<br /><br />Dracula pulled the lid of his coffin closed even tighter, hoping it might seal out the noise, but the acoustics of the chamber only amplified the caterwauling, the unfamiliar rhythms and melodies, which in turn amplified his feelings of isolation. Ten minutes was all he could stand.&nbsp;<br /><br />Adam was undeterred by Dracula’s reticence. He had one last card to play, one which relied on Castle Frankenstein’s ancient harpsichord, lovingly restored over these last several weeks, and a piece of 15<sup>th</sup> century dance music popular in Wallachia during the adolescence of one Vlad Tepes. Adam had merely dabbled with the instrument before, but was sure his skills were up to the task. He turned off the phonograph and urged the guests to be quiet, then sat down at the bench, gingerly playing the instrument with fingers that seemed far too clumsy for such nimble motions.<br /><br />Dracula threw open the coffin lid, raising a hand in rage. But before the cry could escape his parched lips, he heard a familiar tune, plucked out on metallic strings, and was transported back to his boyhood so many centuries ago. Memories flooded his mind of a time before blood and bats, a time when he could dance in the sunlight on a Carpathian mountainside, a time when he was truly young and not merely ageless, as Adam played a song that Dracula had long thought lost to the mists of history.&nbsp;<br /><br />The guests clapped as Adam finished. He backed gingerly away from the harpsichord and turned around to face the crowd, seeing a disheveled, emaciated Dracula standing at the top of the basement stairs, smiling wistfully, with tears in his dark eyes. Adam returned the smile.<br /><br />“I always wondered,” Dracula said, embracing his hulking friend. “Whatever happened to my ‘Transylvania Twist.’”<br />Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-78005691529447419902014-09-10T20:07:00.002-05:002014-09-10T20:07:37.040-05:00Mind of Steel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mvMCDJKm6WU/VBD1wyHLM9I/AAAAAAAADOU/STz9XsztUi4/s1600/1100.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mvMCDJKm6WU/VBD1wyHLM9I/AAAAAAAADOU/STz9XsztUi4/s320/1100.jpg" /></a></div>I used to view Superman's super-intelligence as one power too many, a silly relic of the Silver Age, like super-ventriloquism. It's mostly a consequence of growing up with and idealizing the Byrne-era Superman.<br /><br />The last time I really remember feeling that sentiment was when the power was reintroduced back in "Up, Up, and Away." Busiek &amp; Johns did a great job of making the power make sense, and the more I've thought about it since, the more I think that Superman <i>needs</i> to be super-intelligent.<br /><br />I think about superheroes a lot, and something I find particularly fascinating is the concept of auxiliary superpowers: abilities that don't show up in the Who's Who or OHOTMU lists, but are necessary for the character's other powers to work.<br /><br />So, for instance, anyone with super-strength must have some degree of invulnerability, because otherwise their tendons would tear and their bones would break every time they flexed. The Flash must be able to selectively alter friction and relativistic effects, or he'd catch fire and approach infinite mass every time he got moving fast enough<sup>1</sup>.<br /><br />Superman's super-intelligence is a similar ability. Consider super-speed: the Flash can shift into a sort of "speed mode," where he perceives everything moving at a crawl. Superman, presumably, doesn't tap into the Speed Force, and we have no indication that he has that ability. In order to accomplish feats at speeds similar to those traveled at by the Flash, his brain would have to have super-fast processing ability. This gives him super-fast reaction time, and explains why he can do things like read and type at superhuman speeds. Without this aspect of super-intelligence, his super-speed would be useless at best and dangerous at worst. <br /><br />I dislike the tendency to treat Superman's super-senses as things he can turn on and off, though I understand why especially early writers would treat them as such. You can't consciously decide to stop seeing the color red, for instance, or to stop hearing certain frequencies of sound, and I don't know why we'd expect Superman to have that ability either. But what we can do is focus our eyes on certain things in our field of vision, depending on distance, and we can sometimes tune out noises and sounds, especially constant, repetitive ones. So the No-Prize explanation is that Superman has learned to mostly tune out the sounds of insect wing-fluttering and the continental plates shifting, focusing his hearing on the sounds that are less constant. <br /><br />In order to do this, his brain must have super-executive functions, able not just to process that information quickly, but to make sense of it, assigning degrees of importance and drawing Superman's attention to where it's needed. Part of that process is done by comparing sensory input to prior inputs--to memories. <br /><br />The process of memory formation is complicated, messy, and dependent on the kinds of memories being formed, but part of the process of changing something from short-term to long-term memory is repeated passes through certain structures of the brain. There is a certain logic to thinking that this process would happen faster for Superman, given his brain's faster processing speed and increased need to sort through sensory input, but I'm no neurologist, and I'm getting into the area where I feel like I might just be pulling stuff out of my red shorts. <br /><br />The case for Superman having perfect recall is shakier than any other part of his super-intelligence, but that also allows for a little flexibility in storytelling. It's easy to imagine that Superman can hold more things in his short-term/working memory--even if he couldn't necessarily hold more items in said memory at once (and I think he probably could, given the usual attention issues he already has to deal with), his processing power means he could be switching between items in his attention fast enough that it would seem like he was holding more items in his working memory. But as with humans, not everything necessarily makes the transition from short-term to long-term memory. So maybe he doesn't remember in issue #647 how to do a surgery he performed back in #328, but it's the same way you might have to look up the phone number for the pizza place every time you call. <br /><br />From a narrative and theme perspective, I do think the idea that Superman has perfect recall of everything that happened anywhere around him on Krypton is pretty eye-rollingly silly. Remembering the minutiae of Krypton since infancy robs some of the tragedy of Krypton's destruction, and distances Superman from his human roots<sup>2</sup>. As much as I've come to embrace the Bronze Age, I'm still a firm proponent of the idea that Superman's powers should grow as he does, rather than having full-powered Superbaby on day one. His memories of Krypton, of his parents, should be fragmentary and fleeting, like any person's memories of early childhood. Krypton, for Superman, should be a place that he's studied, but not one that he remembers thoroughly. <br /><br />Back to the main point, I think the trickiest part of "super-intelligence" is actually figuring out what that means--and that goes for the other smartest guys in the DCU too, like Batman and Lex Luthor and Brainiac 5. "Intelligence" isn't just one thing, but a combination of traits, and I think understanding what aspects of intelligence each of these super-intellects excels at is important. Superman's good at problem solving, with strong lateral thinking skills and an ability to make connections, in addition to having a keen journalistic and scientific mind and enhanced processing power. Batman's the world's greatest detective, brilliant at deduction, reading people, and predicting what's likely to happen in any given situation--usually by gaming out every possibility well ahead of time. Lex Luthor is a cunning manipulator, able to identify and exploit weaknesses in anyone, in addition to being one of the most brilliantly inventive minds on the planet. MacGyver can make a nuclear weapon out of some paperclips and rubber bands; Lex Luthor could turn the same materials into a time machine with enough parts left over for a jetpack. Giving Superman super-intelligence doesn't have to diminish these other characters, so long as we actually understand what that entails. In Coluan terms, Superman is probably somewhere around a 7th-9th-level intellect. <br /><br />The issue of super-intelligence is an interesting one, but as far as I'm concerned, it's a necessary power, and a natural consequence of other powers we take for granted.<br /><br /><hr>1. I realize that canonically, the Flashes have a "frictionless aura," but that wouldn't explain how they're able to get traction or grab things, or do those tricks with rubbing sand at super-speed to make glass. Hence, there must be a degree of selective control over this ability. <br /><br />2. I also think it removes some of <i>Supergirl's</i> uniqueness. One aspect of her character that has only really been explored in recent years is that she grew up on Krypton, spent her formative years there, was immersed in Kryptonian culture and society. She's a teenage superhero "<A href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Little_Princess">A Little Princess</a>," orphaned and left to fend for herself in a strange land, without the comforts of home. She should be the one who remembers Krypton, not Superman.Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-54098953444412813302014-08-31T22:09:00.001-05:002014-08-31T22:09:11.840-05:00Outlander and Time TravelI saw a preview for the new "Outlander" TV series ahead of "Guardians of the Galaxy" at my local theater, and my initial impression was that it was an interesting idea: having someone from the past travel back in time further into the past.<br /><br />Upon thinking about it for another moment, though, I realized that's how <i>most</i> time-travel-to-the-past stories are, and how all of them become that in time. I love "Back to the Future," and even though I was scarcely two years old in 1985, I still think of it as a kid from "the present" going back to the past, when we're now nearly as far removed from 1985 as 1985 was from 1955. One of my favorite TV series of all time is "Quantum Leap," and while I still think of Sam's home time as the future, 1995 is twenty years behind us.<br /><br />It's an interesting wrinkle to the time travel motif, that such stories require the reader to do so much time traveling of their own. Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-83022703571240806122014-06-30T16:38:00.001-05:002014-06-30T16:44:02.835-05:00Review: "Superman" (vol. 3) #32Let's get a few things out of the way to begin with. First, I'm coming into this issue cold; I've intentionally avoided reading any reviews of it longer than 140 characters, and I'm fairly far behind on the other Superman titles (the only DC book I'm caught up on is Batman, I think). I'm also coming into this issue without too much bias. I quite like John Romita Jr.'s art, but the <a href="http://www.comics.org/issue/72116/cover/4/">last series he helped relaunch thirty issues into a major reboot</a> didn't exactly go very well. I've been pretty sour on Geoff Johns since a bit before the New 52 began, despite really liking his earlier work on JSA, Flash, and Green Lantern. His Superman comics have been generally well-regarded, though I <a href="http://tomfoss.blogspot.com/2007/12/one-of-these-things-is-true.html">never cared</a> for how he discarded character development to tell more nostalgic stories. I did, however, re-read "Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes" recently, and quite enjoyed it aside from that linked Perry White line and Johns's signature move of having someone lose an arm. At least it didn't feel gratuitous there. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XcbXhPS2s7Y/U7HYPAAT65I/AAAAAAAADGA/36A1IqkAC5g/s1600/supes32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XcbXhPS2s7Y/U7HYPAAT65I/AAAAAAAADGA/36A1IqkAC5g/s320/supes32.jpg" /></a></div>So, "Superman" #32. To begin with, the cover is gorgeous. It's dynamic, and recalls <a href="http://www.comicartcommunity.com/gallery/details.php?image_id=39055">other classic images by folks like José Luis García-López</a>. The background color scheme is similarly evocative, specifically of <a href="http://www.comics.org/issue/23959/cover/4/">Neal Adams' classic "Kryptonite Nevermore!" cover</a>. Also, it's just kind of nice to see Superman running. It's not something he's shown doing very often. <br /><br />Let's start with the good: This issue sets up a pretty intriguing story. Ulysses has a cool design, and the mirroring themes of loneliness and loss are played out well. Not surprisingly, the book looks great. A great deal of that is due to Romita and Janson managing to make even the talking-heads pages visually interesting, but Laura Martin's colors really knock this book out of the park. Romita's style can sometimes come off as a little flat, but Martin's subtle variations in shading and lighting make everything pop. <br /><br />In terms of plot structure, a lot of it feels very old-school. The flashback-to-title sequence bit at the beginning is an artifact of more modern, cinematic comic storytelling, but the way this issue lays down subplot threads hearkens back to the serialized stories of the '80s and '90s. I'm currently working my way through Simonson's "Thor" run, which follows that same style: a few pages of the main story, broken up occasionally (and sometimes suddenly) by checking in on the b- and c-plots. Here, those checking-in moments are more panels than pages, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, especially in this age of shortened page counts. Much as I love Simonson's "Thor," it's still obviously a product of a pre-TPB age, and sometimes the recaps do get a little tedious when you're reading the run straight through.<br /><br />Speaking of shortened page counts, one of the things I found infuriating about Johns's Green Lantern comics toward the end of his run was his over-reliance on splash pages in a way that felt like he was padding out a too-short script. We get two double-page spreads and a splash page in this issue, but they're all major action or emotional climaxes. Each one feels earned, which is helped by the way that the non-splash panels change in size, growing larger on average as we approach each crescendo in the story. It's a great example of how aspects of the art that we don't normally think about can impact the feel of the story in major ways. <br /><br />And hey, J. Wilbur Wolfingham makes an appearance! Who could have predicted that?<br /><br />In terms of criticism, it's what you might expect from Johns: there's no subtlety to be found here. The parents at the beginning, sending their child into another dimension to survive, could only be more obviously allegorical if their names were Jordan and Laura. This motif would probably work a little better if I <i>hadn't</i> just re-read "Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes," which opened with the exact same bit.<br /><br />Repetition is working against Johns on a larger level here as well. Mark Waid <a href="https://twitter.com/MarkWaid/status/481816747838685184">expressed his relief on Twitter</a> that this wasn't the same story as in "Superman Unchained," where the Man of Steel has been battling with another Superman analogue. Meanwhile, "Batman/Superman" began with a plot where the World's Finest team met their Earth-2 counterparts; we just wrapped "Forever Evil," which featured an evil alternate-universe version of Superman taking over; "Future's End" has an alternate "masked" Superman; we're barreling toward a crossover that's supposed to have Earths at war (inevitably suggesting additional Supermen); and Grant Morrison introduced no fewer than three Superman analogues in his "Action Comics" run, with the Earth-23 Superman, the Superdoom "killer franchise," and Captain Comet. That's a lot of Superman analogues for a universe that's not even three years old yet. <br /><br />It's nice to see a softer Perry White here, even if he's basically an exposition delivery machine. His discussion with Clark is sledgehammer-blunt telling-not-showing, and while it's nice that it allows us to name-drop some supporting cast members (that line about Jackee Winters is so obviously out of place, oy) it probably could have been cut in half and replaced with a little more of the scenes we get on the next couple of pages, where we actually <i>see</i> Clark's loneliness. It's "show, don't tell," Geoff, not "tell, then show." With a bit more attention to showing, and a little tighter editing, we could have been actually introduced to Jackee and Lois, instead of having that single panel at the bar. <br /><br />Altogether, it's a positive start. I'm really looking forward to the next issue, especially seeing some development on these subplots. I hope there's some follow-through on the promise of a robust supporting cast; that's an aspect of Superman comics that's too often overlooked to the detriment of the story and the characters. I'd like to see Geoff Johns letting his top-notch artists handle a bit more of the storytelling, especially outside the big action set pieces, but it's just nice to read a Johns comic where no heroes act like jerks and no one has any limbs severed. Definitely the strongest writing I've seen from Johns since the start of the New 52, and Romita knocked this first DC work out of the park. With Pak and Kuder over on "Action," this is arguably the best that the Superman line has been since the last time Johns was writing Superman regularly.Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-31059018018181609952014-06-30T14:47:00.000-05:002014-06-30T14:47:05.591-05:00Speaking GeekI mentioned a few weeks back that I recorded an interview with the Chippewa Valley Geek podcast, and <A href="http://www.chippewavalleygeek.com/2014/06/the-cvg-podcast-and-rhythm-blues-revue.html">it's up now</a>! Listen to me pontificate, because reading my pontifications was one sense too few!Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-50755460983399358862014-06-27T14:59:00.000-05:002014-06-30T14:34:51.455-05:005 Popular Movies & How They Should Have Ended<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BM6yCWyWJhQ/U63L63_bl-I/AAAAAAAADEc/tj6-YA2zDHU/s1600/home_bg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BM6yCWyWJhQ/U63L63_bl-I/AAAAAAAADEc/tj6-YA2zDHU/s400/home_bg.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>5. Man of Steel</b></span><br />The recent superhero blockbuster "Man of Steel" drew a lot of criticism for its unexpected ending. A lot of people offered their own ideas for how it could have ended instead, but they all got one thing wrong.<br /><br /><b>How it SHOULD have ended</b>: "Man of Steel" should have ended with a closing credits roll acknowledging all the people whose hard work made the film possible, from the writers, actors, and director to the catering staff and stunt doubles. Despite the criticism, this is exactly how it <i>did</i> end!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jYteNOoWBVw/U63MLhZIBSI/AAAAAAAADEw/3ciiPLiSAgM/s1600/51675_bb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jYteNOoWBVw/U63MLhZIBSI/AAAAAAAADEw/3ciiPLiSAgM/s400/51675_bb.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>4. Flicka</b></span><br />The 2006 feel-good film "Flicka" told a touching story about a girl and her horse, based on the 1941 novel <i>My Friend Flicka</i>. In it, main character Katy and her wild mustang Flicka both help save each other's lives. But is that the way it should have gone?<br /><br /><b>How it SHOULD have ended</b>: A movie as animal-intensive as "Flicka" should have ended with the note "No animals were harmed in the making of this picture" in the credits. Unfortunately, two horses died in the process of filming "Flicka," forcing the statement to be left out.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L8RVriwVB6s/U63MbFSWHwI/AAAAAAAADE4/wUibNlQAmWQ/s1600/Shes_All_That.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L8RVriwVB6s/U63MbFSWHwI/AAAAAAAADE4/wUibNlQAmWQ/s400/Shes_All_That.jpg" height="400" width="264" /></a></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>3. She's All That</b></span><br />"She's All That" was a popular 1999 teen romantic comedy featuring Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Rachel Leigh Cook. Its classic plot about giving an unpopular girl a makeover was an update of stories like "Pygmalion" and "My Fair Lady." In the end, Cook and Prinze's characters get together, but is that the way it should have gone?<br /><br /><b>How it SHOULD have ended</b>: "She's All That" should have ended with me and Becky Holt making out and dating for the rest of freshman year instead of her saying "no I don't want to go to the movies with you, loser."<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&nbsp;<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iQATF5kxcTw/U63L6gIS5II/AAAAAAAADEk/b283YXgCozs/s1600/transformers_3_dark_of_the_moon-normal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iQATF5kxcTw/U63L6gIS5II/AAAAAAAADEk/b283YXgCozs/s400/transformers_3_dark_of_the_moon-normal.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon</b></span><br />The third installment in the blockbuster Transformers film franchise by director Michael Bay continued the story of Optimus Prime and his Autobot warriors and their battle with Megatron and the evil Decepticons, with humanity--and Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf)--caught in the middle. In "Dark of the Moon," we learn that the Apollo missions discovered alien technology on the moon, which leads to an epic battle and ultimately the destruction of the Transformers' home planet, Cybertron. It's a tragic blow to the Transformers, but that ending could have been very different!<br /><br /><b>How it SHOULD have ended</b>: With a fire on set, tragically killing the director and star.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-13_jeP9b-pk/U63L6dw8Q9I/AAAAAAAADEY/PcfzIhG8Bxs/s1600/Back_to_the_Future_logo.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-13_jeP9b-pk/U63L6dw8Q9I/AAAAAAAADEY/PcfzIhG8Bxs/s400/Back_to_the_Future_logo.jpeg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>1. Back to the Future</b></span><br />Everyone knows the classic movie about teenage time traveler Marty McFly and his exciting adventure trying to return to his own time without accidentally breaking up his parents' marriage and preventing his own birth! We all know Marty was successful in his quest, but what you don't know is how it should have ended!<br /><br /><b>How it SHOULD have ended</b>: Wait, hold on, Michael J. Fox? Two sequels? No, no, this is all wrong. "Back to the Future" was supposed to be a singular cult classic, the movie that led to the Eric Stoltz geek TV renaissance! Something happened, something changed the timestream! I need to set this right, before... before...Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-51430653824652292572014-06-12T01:09:00.000-05:002014-06-30T14:41:57.814-05:00Blasting from the PastI'm conducting a minor experiment, to see if anyone ever bothered to change the most annoying things about the Internet. I mean, animated gifs are experiencing a renaissance, far beyond what we might have imagined back in the days of:<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-P35TH6HAytM/U5lCd_O8AzI/AAAAAAAADC0/wE68hld1gGA/s1600/687474703a2f2f7374617469632e646967672e636f6d2f7374617469632f696d616765732f6469676765722e676966.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-P35TH6HAytM/U5lCd_O8AzI/AAAAAAAADC0/wE68hld1gGA/s1600/687474703a2f2f7374617469632e646967672e636f6d2f7374617469632f696d616765732f6469676765722e676966.gif" /></a></div><br />and:<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FqQ30GWX5kk/U5lCoQ2nb5I/AAAAAAAADDE/MeyOo4ujaYM/s1600/images_0d42bd672b4da69b81146eca3f96df3e.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FqQ30GWX5kk/U5lCoQ2nb5I/AAAAAAAADDE/MeyOo4ujaYM/s1600/images_0d42bd672b4da69b81146eca3f96df3e.gif" /></a></div><br />(and on my old homepage):<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ru_dMhrryyQ/U5lCd7ROyMI/AAAAAAAADC4/tMxXWOV-K2Y/s1600/spinner_g1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ru_dMhrryyQ/U5lCd7ROyMI/AAAAAAAADC4/tMxXWOV-K2Y/s1600/spinner_g1.gif" /></a></div><br />But I found myself wondering today: do <blink>blinking text tags</blink> still work? <blink>Those were always loads of fun.</blink><br /><br />(Answer: apparently not in my browser)<br /><br />Of course the best kind of tag was the<br /><marquee><font size="5"><b><i>SCROLLING MARQUEE</I></B></font></marquee><br /><br />Oh! What about rainbow text effects?<br /><marquee><font size="5"><b><i><div><span style="color:#ff0000;">T</span><span style="color:#ff1900;">H</span><span style="color:#ff3300;">I</span><span style="color:#ff4c00;">S</span><span style="color:#ff6600;"> </span><span style="color:#ff7f00;">I</span><span style="color:#ff9400;">S</span><span style="color:#ffaa00;"> </span><span style="color:#ffbf00;">W</span><span style="color:#ffd400;">H</span><span style="color:#ffea00;">A</span><span style="color:#ffff00;">T</span><span style="color:#ccff00;"> </span><span style="color:#99ff00;">T</span><span style="color:#66ff00;">H</span><span style="color:#33ff00;">E</span><span style="color:#00ff00;"> </span><span style="color:#00ff33;">I</span><span style="color:#00ff66;">N</span><span style="color:#00ff99;">T</span><span style="color:#00ffcc;">E</span><span style="color:#00ffff;">R</span><span style="color:#00d5ff;">N</span><span style="color:#00aaff;">E</span><span style="color:#0080ff;">T</span><span style="color:#0055ff;"> </span><span style="color:#002bff;">I</span><span style="color:#0000ff;">S</span><span style="color:#1c00ff;"> </span><span style="color:#3800ff;">F</span><span style="color:#5300ff;">O</span><span style="color:#6f00ff;">R</span><span style="color:#8b00ff;">!</span></div></I></B></font></marquee>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-51411345125911961972014-06-05T21:20:00.001-05:002014-06-30T14:39:19.434-05:00An UpdateThings have been, as they often are, quieter here than I'd like. I've mostly been busy with work, and the remainder of my free time has been looking for other work. I'd much rather be writing blog posts than cover letters, but that's where I'm at right now. But now I have a moment or two to procrastinate, so have some bullet points! Spoilers for summer movies ahead. <br /><ul><li>I started reading Greg Rucka's novel <i>Alpha</i>. It's still pretty early in the book, so not much has happened, but I'm enjoying it so far. There are some interesting quirks with how Rucka describes and words things, and I'm trying to determine what's his style versus what's his choice for the narrator's voice. Aside from the way he refers to military minutiae like a seasoned expert, it doesn't feel much like any of the other stuff I've read of Rucka's.<br /><br />The lack of pictures may be a contributing factor to that.<br /><li>I picked up "Scribblenauts Unmasked" and beat it in fairly short order. I was going to outline my thoughts here, but I think I'll put together something more substantial shortly. In any case, I quite liked it.<br /><li>I saw "Amazing Spider-Man 2," and was underwhelmed. I quite liked the first installment, but this one was (as I might have predicted) overstuffed and rushed. The Electro plot, Harry's illness, and the mystery of Peter's parents could easily have taken up a whole flick without shoehorning in the Goblin and the bridge scene as well. I frankly would have liked another movie with Gwen in it before the inevitable end, and especially one without the college girl equivalent of being one day away from retirement. On top of all that, it felt like there was just so much dialogue (the entire graduation speech, for instance) that felt too convenient, too on-the-nose, too plot-driven. Sony's clearly on a mad dash to make their own "Avengers," without learning from the mistakes of "Spider-Man 3" or the successes of "Avengers"--specifically, laying the groundwork for that movie over the course of years, through several other films, where the worst of them also happened to be the one that diverted too much of its energy to laying the groundwork for the team film. Argh.<br /><li>Seeing "Godzilla" made me realize that I haven't actually seen a Godzilla movie outside of the last American Godzilla movie. This new one was better by far. I especially liked how incidental the humans were to everything. They set the plot in motion by unleashing Muto, but humanity went mostly unnoticed by the creatures, which followed the basic drives of nature: mate and eat. Including another monster was a smart choice (making it look like the Cloverfield monster: doubly smart), because it shifts the narrative. When Godzilla is the only monster, the plot becomes humans vs. Godzilla, which in the "Godzilla" franchise, can end in a stalemate at best. "We drove the creature back into the sea! Yay, I guess? But, like, he's still right there. In the sea." Pitting Godzilla against a bigger threat makes us root for the titular monster, and just hope the humans don't screw things up too badly.<br /><br />I think the one thing I would have changed is letting the generic protagonist disarm the damn nuclear bomb. They were setting that up for the whole movie, only to have him stymied by a panel that he could easily have pried off with the harpoon he found there on the boat. It was tough to watch the happy ending reunion scene at the end knowing the radioactive fallout from the detonation of a nuclear warhead just off the coast of California was going to render half those happy families dead from leukemia within a few years. I get that part of the message is that nature points up the folly of men, but at least let some men solve their own follies maybe? <br /><li>I was interviewed this weekend for the <a href="http://www.chippewavalleygeek.com/">Chippewa Valley Geek</a> podcast, where I talked way too much and way too incoherently about some topics regarding canon and comics. It was tons of fun, and I'll post a notice here whenever it gets uploaded. <br /><li>I'm still working on that Superman QuizUp question set, though I hope to finally finish it up soon. If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. </ul>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-66468846149356307052014-04-19T23:15:00.001-05:002014-06-30T14:40:36.295-05:00New WallpaperOne of the ways I've been busying myself lately is by building a new desktop computer. It's way faster than my last model, and seems way more stable. Hopefully it'll also be able to run games that are more complicated than FTL. It'd become a bit of a tradition among my electronic devices that I give them network names that are Batman-themed, but make the wallpaper Superman-themed. I was having a bit of trouble settling on a new image that I really liked for the wallpaper this time, so I ended up making one. It started with this José Luis García-López image, which I already have on a fridge magnet:<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IaPlJtwm9mQ/U1NJ18gIh_I/AAAAAAAAC70/ekAp4q0nTEw/s1600/Superman_and_Lois_Lane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IaPlJtwm9mQ/U1NJ18gIh_I/AAAAAAAAC70/ekAp4q0nTEw/s320/Superman_and_Lois_Lane.jpg" /></a></div><br />I was surprised to find that on an image search, since I kind of assumed the weird clipart rainbow was added in by whomever made the magnets. I did a little Photoshop surgery, and came up with this nice, minimalist wallpaper background--sized for a 1280x1024 screen. Feel free to use it, if you like. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QVIM02_4vFI/U1NJ0QaO0eI/AAAAAAAAC7s/TI2wdvB_VtA/s1600/Superman_and_Lois_Lane+Wallpaper+1280+x+1024+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QVIM02_4vFI/U1NJ0QaO0eI/AAAAAAAAC7s/TI2wdvB_VtA/s320/Superman_and_Lois_Lane+Wallpaper+1280+x+1024+2.jpg" /></a></div>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-29837494526772893222014-04-10T06:28:00.001-05:002014-04-10T06:28:52.516-05:00CollapseHuh, for some reason the tags to collapse that last post didn't work. Sorry about that, folks. I've noticed that's been kind of hinky lately, but hadn't seen that particular variation. Looks like I'll be trying to clean up the HTML around here soon.Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-56784664866102386122014-04-07T21:29:00.000-05:002014-04-07T21:29:01.078-05:00Soldiering OnSpoilers Ahoy for "Captain America: The Winter Soldier"!<br /><br /><span id="fullpost"><br />Look, I know "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." Isn't very good, but it seems like there are easier ways to cancel it. <br /><br />Seriously, what a movie. "Captain America: The First Avenger" was easily my favorite of the previous Marvel flicks, and this cements the Cap franchise as, I think, the best superhero movie series going. Some thoughts, in my usual bulleted list format:<br /><ul><li>Holy crap, Batroc the Leaper. And with plenty of leaping, too.<br /><li>The fights in this flick were fantastic. I imagine it's hard to keep things interesting in these films, especially since Cap doesn't have any flashy powers to fall back on, but I thought the choreography was well-done, that everyone got a good moment in the sun, and that each fight felt like an appropriate escalation from the previous one. <br /><li>I liked how much characterization Black Widow received. She's largely been the River Tam of the series, quiet and badass, but without much of her own personality up 'til this point, so it was nice to see her open up, be friendly, and show some vulnerability. <br /><li>The same largely holds true for Nick Fury, frankly.<br /><li>I liked the twists and turns that kept this feeling like a spy thriller. I also liked the little nods to Bourne and "Skyfall," between Steve's parkour antics and his plunge into the ocean. In that latter scene, I half expected Moby to start playing. <br /><li>I thought the film did a pretty good job of knitting together several different stories from the comics into a coherent narrative. <br /><li>I also really liked how at least a little attention and lip service was paid to the point that Allied actions in World War II weren't all heroic and virtuous. That kind of nuance gets lost when your film's about superheroes vs. laser Nazis, and the shift to the secret war and shades of gray in this film could have turned into a misguided commentary on the changing times, but I think they did a decent job of making it clear that things have never been quite so rosy. <br /><li>I about lost it when Arnim Zola showed up. Somehow I had both forgotten he was around and forgotten he was announced in the cast some time ago. I love Arnim Zola, and crazy 1970s Arnim Zola is amazing. Though for a second I thought the AI was going to be Ultron.<br /><li>Speaking of last-minute reveals, I'm <i>really</i> curious to see what the legal fallout of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch showing up here is. Conventional legal wisdom had held that whoever got them on the screen first was going to have the rights to them, which made it look like they were a lock for Fox, but here we are. I <i>can't</i> imagine notoriously-litigious Disney letting "X-Men: Days of Future Past" go by without some legal challenge, and I would be surprised if this weren't going to be leverage to reclaim some of those licensed characters. If there <i>isn't</i> a legal challenge, then you'd better believe Sony and Fox are going to be looking at what other characters they can potentially poach, as per precedent. Spider-Woman's a Spider-Man family character, right? And She-Hulk and Black Panther were in the Fantastic Four. It's gonna be an interesting few months. <br /><li>Falcon was pretty great. I liked (and didn't notice until my wife pointed it out) the parallel between Cap's status as a man out of time, and the experiences of soldiers returning from long deployments. The war never really ends, and life moves on without you, whether you're in Kandahar or a block of Arctic ice. It's a great take on the character.<br /><li>Speaking of takes on the character, I really wish we could get a Superman movie like this. You know, one where he's optimistic and inspirational and always doing the right thing, even when the world he lives in would drive anyone else to cynicism and despair. Superman and Captain America should be the unshakable moral foundations of their respective universes, not weepy angsty guys who struggle to be heroic.<br /><li>I love how many hooks the movie left at the end for sequels. Nick Fury running an underground war against Hydra, Cap searching for Bucky and taking down Hydra bases, Arnim Zola doing whatever he's going to do...they could make Captain America movies forever and I'd be okay with that.</ul>Overall, I loved it. Marvel is killing it on the movie front, and it's even getting me excited to see what happens on tomorrow's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." Excited. About "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." I know, I'm surprised too. </span>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-32643273861033039082014-03-05T21:49:00.000-06:002014-06-30T14:37:24.778-05:00Ender Bender 12: Chapter 8, "Rat" (Part 3)*Cough*<br /><br />So, as it turns out, it's really difficult for me to motivate myself to read and write about terrible books (on top of the real-life stuff I have to do) when I'm not being paid for it. That said, I'm trying to make writing a bigger part of my life, so that means proving to myself and the general public that I can finish things and meet deadlines.<br /><br />Just don't ask about Superman Sundays. Not yet, anyway.<br /><br />So without further ado...<br /><br />Ender arrives at his evening practice with the launchies, only to find that it's poorly attended. Could it be that he's not the effective leader of men that he thinks he is? <br /><blockquote>"Haven't you heard?" said another boy, a Launchy from a younger group. "Word's out that any Launchy who comes to your practice sessions won't ever amount to anything in anybody's army. Word's out that the commanders don't want any soldiers who've been damaged by your training."</blockquote>No, of course it's another conspiracy against Ender! And halfway through the practice, some commanders from different armies came in and took note of everyone there! And fewer and fewer people started coming to practice each night, as the Launchies who did show up were harassed and assaulted. <br /><br />Hey, it must really suck to be part of a group of people whose existence merits disapproval from those in power, which trickles down to abuse, assault, and harassment in the halls of schools. Good thing Orson Scott Card is the sort of guy who'd stick up for people like that, right?<br /><br />Ender's ready to quit, but Alai talks him out of it. Who's our protagonist again? <br /><br /><blockquote>Alai stopped him. "They scare you, too? They slap you up in the bathroom? Stick you head in the pissah? Somebody gots a gun up you bung?"</blockquote>As an excuse to stop reading this book, I decided at this point to look up what awards <i>Ender's Game</i> has won. Turns out it picked up the Nebula in 1985 and the Hugo in 1986, as well as earning a spot on Amazon's Best Books of the Millennium poll.<br /><br />Think about that for a minute. Think about the books that have been published since 1001 C.E. Let's assume that we're omitting plays, thus kicking out all the works of Shakespeare. That still leaves <i>Things Fall Apart</i> and <i>A Brief History of Time</i> and Newton's <i>Principia</i> and Dante's <i>Divine Comedy</i>. It still leaves all the works of Jane Austen and John Locke and Charles Darwin and Geoffrey Chaucer and Charles Dickens and Emily Dickinson. It leaves <i>Candide</i> and <i>Gulliver's Travels</i> and <i>1984</i>. <i>Le Morte d'Arthur</i>! <i>Paradise Lost</i>! <i>Frankenstein</i>! The entirety of the Renaissance, the Enlightenment, and the modern age, and that's just <i>the last half of the millennium</i>. <br /><br /><i>Ender's Game</i> held the number 32 slot. "Somebody gots a gun up you bung?"<br /><br />I...I don't know that I was ready for this. Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-21602027527584166802014-02-19T17:24:00.000-06:002014-06-30T14:41:08.366-05:00QuizUp, Up, and Away!So, for the past almost-a-week I've been addicted to <a href="">QuizUp</a>, a game that scratches a trivia itch that I'd forgotten I had. I've always been kind of a trivia buff, growing up on Jeopardy! and the like, excelling in Scholastic Bowl in high school, and spending way too much time among the top spots of a comic book trivia game on an IRC channel back in college. I've been rising up the ranks in a few categories (I beat the guy who's ranked top in the world in Superhero Comics!), and reporting the occasional inaccuracy and spelling error along the way, because the only thing I'm better at than trivia is pedantry.<br /><br />But early on I noticed the fundamental unfairness that Batman gets his own category under "Literature" and Superman doesn't. So I submitted fifteen sample questions for a Superman category, and they seem to have gone over pretty well. A content editor at QuizUp sent me back their guidelines for submissions, and I've been working on expanding that list. I've got my <i>Superman Encyclopedia</i>, my <i>Official Superman Quiz Book</i>, and <a href="http://thechronologicalsuperman.tumblr.com">The Chronological Superman</a> open as references and inspiration right now, not to mention years and years of sponging up this information instead of something useful.<br /><br />So here's where you can come in (it's okay, the content editor said I could enlist friends!): submissions usually consist of 100-300 questions, and I'd like to be on the high end of that. I know I could probably break the bank just on minutiae from the post-Crisis-pre-Flashpoint era, but I want to have some variety and some other super-brains involved. So if you're a Superman enthusiast, feel free to toss over some questions, fun facts, or other bits of content and/or inspiration that you think could be helpful. There's no deadline, but I'd like to submit within two or three weeks. There's also no apparent difficulty limit (though after playing through one too many "who said this random line" questions in the "Star Wars OT" category, maybe there should be), and I figure the softball questions will be the easy ones anyway. So get obscure with your bad self and let your multicolored freak flag fly. <br /><br />In terms of question content, here's the scoop:<br /><ol><li>Questions are multiple choice, with three incorrect answers and one correct answer. <br /><li>I'll be submitting everything on their Excel template. You don't need to worry much about formatting, but if you do send stuff in Excel/table form, lovely.<br /><li>Questions can't be longer than 130 characters, including spaces. Answer options can't be longer than 30 characters, including spaces.<br /><li>All answer choices should start with an uppercase letter.<br /><li>Try to avoid questions that involve choosing the one answer that's incorrect. If you do one of these, make sure "NOT" is in all-caps. For instance, I have "Which of these has NOT been a location for Superman's Fortress of Solitude?"<br /><li>Any titles within questions should have double quotation marks (") around them. Titles in answer choices don't need any special punctuation.</ol><br />I've already contacted some Superman Superfans of my acquaintance, but if you know someone I missed, feel free to direct them this way. You can leave stuff in the comments here, or e-mail me at tfoss1983 [at] gmail. <br /><br />Oh, and if you want to challenge me on QuizUp, my username is tfoss1983, but the display name is Tom-El. Friends are very welcome!Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-69572205473081079632014-02-15T14:20:00.000-06:002014-02-15T14:22:05.594-06:00Guessing GameI watched a movie today. The screenplay was written by a critically-acclaimed filmmaker who had previously worked on Batman films. The protagonist was a dark-haired guy, played by an actor from the British Isles. As a baby, our hero was sent away in a ship to a new world by his dying parents, carrying with him their hopes and dreams for a better future. He was raised by simple folk, who were nonetheless wiser than they seemed. He grew up yearning for Justice, wondering where he came from. As an adult, it turned out that he had special abilities not shared by mortals, and that he was part of a greater destiny. He fell deeply in love with a red-haired woman from another land, and in a secluded sanctum in the frozen north, she helped him find his true purpose. But there were other forces at work, forces of evil, forces who stood against the hope represented by our hero, and who would stop at nothing to remake the world to fit their ideals. The hero fought his nemesis to defend those he's sworn to protect, and in the end, he killed his foe with an injury to the neck, and saved the life of the red-haired girl. He then flies off into the sky, and it's said that others will follow him into the stars. I had wanted the movie to be really good, but in the end it was kind of dumb and overlong. <br /><br />Oh, and Russell Crowe was in it.<br /><br />Do you know the movie?<br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Naturally, it was "Winter's Tale," an urban fantasy-tinged romance that was released this week. Parts of the story were quite good, and the special effects (when they showed up) were quite nice. There were some nice, moving moments, but the attempt to turn what should have been an interesting, character-driven story into an epic battle between good and evil--right down to having Lucifer himself involved--fell flat. There were a couple of characters whose brief appearances lead me to believe there's more of them on the cutting room floor or in the book that this was based on, leading them to become little more than magical black man and mystic Native American stereotypes. The film ends with a bit of narration that seems overly concerned with justifying the logical implications of the metaphysics suggested by the plot, and it fails mostly in that it calls specific attention to those shaky metaphysics in the first place. If it had toned the scales down a bit, and been more confident in its central romance and characters, it might have been quite good. As it turned out, it's the third disappointing movie with Russell Crowe I've seen in the last year and a half.<br /><br />And it would have been greatly improved with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Winter%27s_Tale">someone being pursued by a bear</a>, but that's true of most films.</span>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-48991693361744301012014-02-07T21:30:00.000-06:002014-06-30T14:40:36.264-05:00The Problem of Doomsday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IS0S-JyuCDg/UvWi0odwPlI/AAAAAAAAC5c/PZ2Ku-4YL7g/s1600/doomsday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IS0S-JyuCDg/UvWi0odwPlI/AAAAAAAAC5c/PZ2Ku-4YL7g/s320/doomsday.jpg" /></a></div>Apparently there's talk about DC redoing the Death of Superman story for the New 52, which shouldn't be entirely surprising. They've spent the last year redoing Batman: Year One, so naturally they'd look toward their most successful single story as another greatest hit to replay (Heaven forbid they try to make new stories; the New 52 is about repeating things that worked in the past). It's just a shame, because Doomsday is so completely played out. Doomsday has been played out since the last page of "Superman" (vol. 2) #75, which frankly should have been the last time we ever saw him.<br /><br />I love the Death and Return of Superman storyline. It's bloated, it's tied into a huge mess of early-'90s subplots that make the story difficult to recommend to new readers, but it's better than a lot of people give it credit for, and it's a pointed commentary on the '90s trends toward younger, edgier, more violent versions of heroes. Given how DC has embraced those trends wholeheartedly with the New 52, it's again unsurprising that they'd want a version that was free of such uncomfortable subtext. <br /><br />But I don't love Doomsday. Doomsday was never a character; he (it?) was a tool. Doomsday was designed to be a mindless force of nature, an unstoppable creature of death and destruction made incarnate, something that could believably kill Superman, without making Superman's sacrifice entirely anticlimactic. Doomsday was also a creature who could die in the battle without triggering all our uneasiness over Superman killing, since Doomsday was barely even alive in a conventional sense. There are probably other ways to read that battle besides Superman fighting against popular sentiment, against the idea that he's outdated and no longer has a place in the world, but I think that's the reading that makes the most sense given the rest of the story. <br /><br />Just like that notion, Doomsday just won't go away, no matter how many different ways he's disposed of. I've <a href="http://tomfoss.blogspot.com/2006/11/im-tired-of-general-zod.html">talked before</a> about my distaste for General Zod, and the problem with Doomsday is perhaps even worse. Zod, at least, has a personality. Zod can be reasoned with; Zod can form plans and have nuances to his character. Doomsday is pure, unrestrained, unthinking brutality, which makes him kind of a one-note character, inasmuch as he even <i>is</i> a character. And while Zod can presumably be killed for good, Doomsday's <i>actual power</i> is that he can't. Ever since his second appearance, his ability has been that whatever kills him only makes him stronger, so you can't even have the out of breaking his neck. <br /><br />Doomsday's appeal, in addition to his presence in the top-selling comic story of the last twenty-five years, mostly has to do with his unique (if frequently ridiculous--bike shorts?) appearance, and the fact that he presents a physical challenge to Superman. There was a time when recurring physical villains were a fairly small part of Superman's rogues gallery, mostly consisting of Metallo, some Apokoliptians, a rotating cast of Phantom Zoners, and arguably Parasite and Bizarro. Over the course of the last thirty years, that roster has grown somewhat. Lex Luthor got a bodysuit, Brainiac got various upgraded bodies, Atomic Skull was altered into a more physically threatening form, villains like Conduit and the Eradicator and Mongul were introduced, but the number of villains who routinely go toe to toe with Superman is still rather small. The problem is that these are the villains who are largely perceived to be Superman's A-list, I think. It's understandable that artists want to draw (and audiences want to read) Superman hitting things--I'm certainly among them--but there's a way to do that without having him constantly in fisticuffs with his enemies. Superman's been fighting robot henchmen for most of the last 75 years, and I honestly think that's more satisfying than seeing him avoid hitting a battlesuit-clad Lex Luthor in the unarmored head. <br /><br />So Doomsday keeps popping up, because people keep looking through Superman's rogues gallery for villains he can get into a decent fistfight with, and running out of options. There have been some valiant attempts to make him interesting, and I'll readily admit to reading and rereading every panel of "Superman/Doomsday: Hunter/Prey" more times than I can remember. But even that story recognized that Doomsday alone is an uninteresting villain; he only worked in concert with the Cyborg Superman and (to a lesser degree) Darkseid. His next outing was as a pawn (and host body) for Brainiac, which was the last story creator Dan Jurgens told about the monster. Then we got the inevitable (and ridiculous) Superman/Doomsday team-up against Imperiex, then "Superman" #175 which gave the creature intellect (and wrapped a bow around the villain's entire existence), then we got the Reign of Doomsday nonsense with variations on the creature and I've kind of tuned that out. <br /><br />A lot of this would be avoided if writers would stop feeling so beholden to the idea that every Superman story needs him socking the villain across the jaw or punching someone through buildings. Relying on Superman's strength rather than his intellect gives us diminishing returns both in terms of repetitive storytelling and serious limitations on threats and enemies. He's never going to be able to have a satisfying fight with the Prankster or Toyman or Mr. Mxyzptlk. There's a reason most of Superman's villains are more intellectually challenging, because it requires more clever storytelling than "who can punch harder?" <br /><br />Failing that, they could at least dig a little deeper for a Vartox or a Titano or a Rampage, rather than giving us another unnecessary spoonful of Doom. Or, you know, they could invent new characters and try to tell new stories, but I suspect blame for that falls more on the shoulders of the editorial staff. <br /><br />All that needed to be said about Doomsday was there in "The Death of Superman." All that reasonably should have been said was done by the time Jeph Loeb finished up his issue with the character. And yet he continues to stick around, because he has evolved beyond the ability to die. It's just a shame that he can't seem to evolve into something interesting. Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-46640930338976381832014-01-26T21:36:00.001-06:002014-01-26T21:36:07.862-06:00Some thoughts on Doctor WhoI've been on a big Doctor Who kick since a little before the 50th anniversary special. It's been slightly obsessive, to be honest. So I figured I'd do something productive (sort of) with it and pop out another bulleted list of incoherent thoughts. Spoilers ahead for things that have been out for months now.<br /><ul><li><b>Night of the Doctor</b>: I think Paul McGann might be my favorite Doctor, so it was incredible to see him back in live action--and with his own hair this time! That they actually acknowledged the companions from the audio adventures was a beautiful little cherry on top. I'd love to see more mini-episodes with past Doctors like this, and I hope BBC is thinking really hard about it. This made me run out and find "The Brain of Morbius"--well, this and the fact that the Eighth Doctor Audio sequel to that story was coming up in my listening rotation.<br /><li><B>The Eighth Doctor Audios</b>: It had been so long since I listened to any of these that I kind of forgot where I left off. I started up listening again with "Immortal Beloved," which was familiar enough that I know I'd heard it before, but nothing else seemed familiar until "Max Warp," which I distinctly remember listening to while mowing the lawn several years back. So, no idea what exactly ended up happening there. I'm most of the way through Series 3 now, and kind of holding off because I know the finale is a sequel to "Planet of the Spiders," which I haven't seen yet. And I've been holding off on watching that because I feel like I should watch more Third Doctor stories before seeing his swansong. And that's led into me watching just a ton of classic Doctor Who whenever I have the chance. Anyway, the EDAs are great (even if I don't like Lucie Miller quite as much as Charley Pollard), and I'm particularly excited to dig into "Dark Eyes." <br /><li><b>The Day of the Doctor</b>: I thought the 50th Anniversary special was just delightful. Lots of nods to the past (though I'd forgotten that Kate Lethbridge-Stewart had been introduced previously), with a fun story that gave all three Doctors a chance to shine. While I kind of wish Christopher Eccleston had at least done something with it, I frankly think John Hurt's War Doctor fit better in that role, and did wonderfully. I hope that (if Hurt is willing) the BBC is working on getting him to do some other media. I'd love to hear some War Doctor audios, even if they were done by BBC Audio like the "Hornet's Nest" releases and not Big Finish (as I understand there's some weird issues with the rights). <br /><br />One of the guys at my LCS said "The Day of the Doctor" was everything he wished "Man of Steel" had been, and I think that works really well. Not only was it fun and reverent of the past while giving a good new story, but it also featured the Doctor doing what the Doctor does (and what Superman <i>usually</i> does): finding a better way to win. And not just when it comes to averting a human-Zygon war, but also with regard to the Time War. <br /><br />I've seen criticism about the retcon, but frankly I think it's misguided. I understand the desire to keep the new series' driving tragedy for the Doctor, but it hasn't been mentioned much--if at all--since before "The Eleventh Hour." It hasn't really driven the series in a long time. Moreover, the more we learned about the Time War, the less sense it made for the Doctor's character. Like, it's one thing to know that there was a Great Time War between the Time Lords and the Daleks, in which countless worlds (including Gallifrey and Skaro) were destroyed, and in which the Doctor made the impossible choice to destroy the Time Lords and Daleks once and for all--well, except for the Master and the Daleks, both of whom made it out all right. But it's another thing to think about what that actually <i>means</i>. <i>The Doctor committed genocide</i>. Twice over. Yes, we're assured that by the end, the Time Lords were as bad as the Daleks if not worse, but...really? All of the Time Lords? Even the children (we know there are Gallifreyan children, thanks to "The Sound of Drums")? Even Romana and Susan? It just doesn't hold up. <br /><br />It all runs into the same problem that Superman had in the Silver Age. There's a great line in the Wizard Death of Superman Special (I know, I'm surprised too) about how, after awhile, it seemed like the only people actually killed in Krypton's destruction were Superman's parents and a few close neighbors. At least Superman got the people of Kandor, Supergirl, and the Kryptonian Super-pets out of the selective survival deal. Seems like only the evil people survived the Time War. <br /><br />And when the Doctor is one of those survivors and has <i>double genocide</i> in his past, it's hard not to wonder if he might not be an exception. <br /><br />"The Day of the Doctor" didn't undo the fact that the Doctor was driven to desperation such that he'd be willing to push that button. It didn't undo all the other terrors and atrocities of the Time War, like the destruction of the Nestene and Zygon homeworlds and the disembodiment of the Gelth. What it undid was the notion that he'd try to save <i>Davros</i> of all people, but destroy Gallifrey. The Doctor doesn't do genocide, not even for entities as bad as the Daleks. That's been established for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genesis_of_the_Daleks">a good long while</a>. It doesn't even negate the remorse felt by Nine and Ten, since he had still been driven to the point of committing that double genocide, even if there ended up being another way. Whether or not he pulled the trigger, he'd been willing to do something that otherwise would have been abhorrent to him, and that would give anyone cause for remorse and reevaluation. <br /><br />So, yeah, I generally thought that "Day of the Doctor" was the best that "Doctor Who" has been in awhile. <br /><li><b>The Time of the Doctor</b>: But the next installment? Hoo boy. What a sharp drop in quality there, as Steven Moffat tried to cram half a season of story into a single episode, and pretend that it had all been planned that way from the beginning rather than being hastily assembled in a rather slapdash manner, which it clearly was. The dinner with Clara's family deserved a full episode (a la "The Power of Three") rather than being the quickly-dropped introduction. Ever since the mystery of Clara was solved (in a way that also didn't make a whole lot of sense), it's become abundantly clear that they've never really bothered to give her any characterization beyond it. Rose, Martha, Donna, and Amy have all had lives and families outside of the TARDIS, and that's helped to give them a sort of grounding in reality (and conflicts to motivate them and create drama). Clara was created as ungrounded initially and intentionally, and as a result the most we've seen is that she's a babysitter who likes to make soufflé. A sitcom episode with her and the Doctor would have been a great way to correct that, but instead we get the unnecessary and weird nudity stuff and hop out into space for the most nonsensical adventure in quite some time. <br /><br />There are too many ideas in "The Time of the Doctor," and too few of them are any good. Others have pointed out quite accurately that it doesn't make sense for the technologically parasitic Silents to be confessional priests in the space-church, and also that there's not much point in confession if you can't actually remember doing it. The truth-field is fun, right up until the Doctor lies about having a plan and punches a great big hole in the plot. It'd be nice to have some female characters who aren't instantly and secretly in love with the Doctor, though that goes back to Davies. Then again, at least Davies had Captain Jack also in love with the Doctor, as a small bit of balance. <br /><br />And then there's the regeneration. I saw people complaining that he was using regeneration energy as a weapon, and I don't really mind that. It was strong enough to devastate the TARDIS in "The End of Time," so it's not entirely out of the question that it could blow up a Dalek ship or two here. The problem I have is with the unnecessary and wasteful bit where Eleven is actually Thirteen. <br /><br />I say "wasteful" because it throws away an interesting dynamic and source of drama without getting anything in return. The Doctor who knows he's the last incarnation is a story we deserve to see (even if we know he's <i>not</i> really the last incarnation). What does he do differently when he knows that the end isn't just the end for this body, but the end, period? It gives the search for Gallifrey a sense of greater urgency, since we and the Doctor know the Time Lords have ways of granting additional regenerations (they did it for the Master, after all). <br /><br />Instead, we cram all that angst into a single brief scene in a single episode, for no reason except that Moffat wanted to cram the Time Lords into this episode as well, shoving them behind the crack in the universe that never got much of an explanation and wasn't helped by the throwaway attempt in this episode. It was a dumb choice, especially hinging it on a fairly brief scene in a show that aired <i>six years ago</i> (okay, five and a half when "Time" aired). Dumb, dumb, dumb, and that kind of dumb choice making really muddied what should have been a heartfelt and tearful goodbye to Matt Smith. <br /><br />And that's ignoring the constant wink-clever metatextual dialogue, the eye-rolling bowtie drop, the unnecessary (and weird-looking, I imagine because of the wig) Amy, and the plot that was done better in "Orbis." I've liked Matt Smith's Doctor a lot, despite some of the writing choices along the way, and he deserved a better sendoff than he received. "The Night of the Doctor" was a mess. <br /><br />And it won't get cleaned up until <i>flipping August</i>.</ul>Wow, somehow I wrote all that and didn't even get into my classic Who binge or the ebooks and comics I've been consuming. I guess I'll have to write up a part 2...Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-45390074705732810312014-01-20T21:24:00.000-06:002014-06-30T14:40:36.260-05:00Oh SnapFrom "Absolute Power," the 47th episode of "Superman: The Animated Series."<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q3owGuNOPkI/Ut3oaqSFXCI/AAAAAAAAC44/cnznIfAplH8/s1600/photo.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q3owGuNOPkI/Ut3oaqSFXCI/AAAAAAAAC44/cnznIfAplH8/s320/photo.PNG" /></a></div><br /><blockquote>CETEA: We may have our wars and our factions, but we are not the barbarians Jax-Ur portrayed.<br /><br />SUPERMAN: Even so, I can't fight him, Cetea. <br /><br />CETEA: You must! You're the only one powerful enough. <br /><br />SUPERMAN: If I do, your planet will be the loser. A battle between us would cause more destruction and bloodshed than all the wars that came before. <br /><br />CETEA: We're willing to risk it.<br /><br />SUPERMAN: I'm not. Not that way.</blockquote><br />Sigh.Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-90384164983550797542013-12-26T20:26:00.001-06:002013-12-26T20:29:52.394-06:00Die Hard and its Presidential Pretenders<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-agg8FKQfnhc/Urzl0UqMhMI/AAAAAAAAC4Q/9hJJyhCDffs/s1600/Pretender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-agg8FKQfnhc/Urzl0UqMhMI/AAAAAAAAC4Q/9hJJyhCDffs/s320/Pretender.jpg" title="It was this or a picture of Chrissie Hynde." alt="It was this or a picture of Chrissie Hynde." /></a></div>I love "Die Hard." I'm one of the increasingly large and insufferable mass of people who watch "Die Hard" each Christmas, and I genuinely think it may be the best action movie of all time. Naturally, it's spawned lots of pretenders--not least of which are four other "Die Hard" movies--which I've lately been fascinated by. Fascinated enough that I got together with my <a href="http://schmovies.blogspot.com/">Movies Schmovies</a> brother Jon, and we watched a double-feature of "Die Hard in the White House" movies, "Olympus Has Fallen" and "White House Down," which are part of the slightly broader "Die Hard with the President" subgenre that began (as far as I know) with "Air Force One." <br /><br />"Olympus Has Fallen" was generally pretty joyless, though Aaron Eckhart's turn as recent widower President Benjamin Asher gave me lots of opportunities to say "I believe in Presi Dent," and to imagine the Gotham politics that got him elected, along with Speaker of the House Lucius Fox. Jon remarked that Bruce Wayne told Harvey "One fundraiser with my pals, you’ll never need another cent," and apparently that meant "no matter what office you run for." The film features North Korean commandos taking over the White House, in order to get the codes for the failsafe system that can detonate any American nuclear weapon, with hopes of destroying all of them in their silos and exploding the country. Only ex-Special Forces, ex-Secret Service agent Gerard Butler can rescue the President's son and also, if there's time, the President. <br /><br />Of the two Die-Hard-in-the-White-House movies from this past year, "Olympus Has Fallen" is the less Die-Hard-y of the two, which I think is a lot of why it was so boring. There are a couple of big things that I think most of the imitations miss about what makes "Die Hard" compelling, and "Olympus Has Fallen" misses them more than most. <br /><br />First, there's the character of John McClane. During their first walkie-talkie conversation, Hans Gruber asks if John is "Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?" It's an important contrast, Dillon and Wayne being symbols of the classic cowboy adventurer, moral to a fault, paragons of virtue, and champions of the rule of law. John McClane is a good cop, but he's more shrewd and pragmatic than lawfully virtuous. But the more important contrast, and the one that most of the "Die Hard" wannabes miss, is the comparison to Rambo. "First Blood" was only six years old when "Die Hard" came out, which was the same year that "Rambo III" hit theaters. And while John Rambo was a mostly stoic, super-capable one-man army ex-special forces agent, John McClane <i>most certainly wasn't</i>. One of the things I most appreciate about "Die Hard"--and most dislike about more recent films in the franchise, like "A Good Day to Die Hard"--is that John becomes progressively more injured and weary throughout the film. When he finally takes a bullet from Karl's gun, it's a big deal. When he's pulling shards of glass out of his feet, it feels like an actual injury, and he's limping and trailing blood for the rest of the movie. By the time we get to that final confrontation, John is exhausted and bloody; his voice is ragged. It <i>actively shocks</i> Holly to see him like that. He's not the "Last Action Hero" only-a-flesh-wound action movie protagonist. He's not a one-man army who can ramp a car into a helicopter. He's just a resourceful cop with an attitude. His conversations with himself show that he's not super-confident, and his dialogue in the actual heat of battle is the kind of nonsensical angry stuff that any of us would say if grappling with a giant German on a staircase ("You motherf***er, I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna f***in' cook you, and I'm gonna f***ing eat you!"). John's at his most clever when he's talking with Hans on the walkie-talkie, and a lot of that is bravado. He doesn't get the James Bond post-killing quips that have become standard action hero fare. <br /><br />Gerard Butler's Agent Mike Banning is not John McClane. He <i>is</i> that hyper-capable, ex-special forces agent who knows all the ins and outs of the White House. He doesn't have to take notes or look at maps the way John McClane does. He's actually at his <i>least</i> clever when talking with the North Korean villains, though a lot of that is because this movie was apparently scripted by pulling lines from the Big Book of Action Movie clichés. "Die Hard" is thoroughly quotable; "Olympus Has Fallen" is littered with "but it's against protocol!" and "the United States doesn't negotiate with terrorists" and "where's my son?!" Mike Banning doesn't talk to himself, doesn't question himself, doesn't feel any ill effects from his injuries, and as a result is a much less interesting character.<br /><br />There's also the issue of the villains. "Die Hard" makes itself a little more timeless, I think, by making its villains a multicultural cadre looking for money rather than achieving a political goal. Aside from the references to "West Germany," Hans Gruber could be upper-class Eurotrash from any era. Political motivations come and go, and while it'll likely be some time before North Korea and the U.S. have a friendly relationship, there's every chance that this plot will eventually seem as much a relic as all those films about Soviet terrorists, or about Rambo teaming up with the mujahideen. The multicolored group under Gruber also largely sidesteps the issue of racism, which is a very real problem any time you're casting one particular ethnicity as "the enemy." <br /><br />One of the other things "Die Hard" does well is characterization. Every major character gets a story arc, from John to Holly to Ellis to Argyle, and even the minor characters have memorable moments, like the one terrorist who just wants a candy bar. In contrast, there's only one villain who gets even a little characterization in "Olympus Has Fallen," and even most of the heroic characters only exist as platitude-spouters. Everyone is a stereotype, and while that's a technique that can work well (see "Pacific Rim") it just comes off as lazy here. <br /><br />"White House Down" provides a pretty stark contrast. It's a much more entertaining film, in part because it's not nearly so deadly serious as "Olympus Has Fallen," and in part because the screenwriter appears to have spent about fifteen minutes outlining his own story, then said "screw it" and did a find-and-replace on the "Die Hard" script. It's so slavishly devoted to aping "Die Hard" that the villains have a secret second plan, there's a scene with our hero on top of a speeding elevator, and there's even a "<i>Mrs. McClane</i>" moment. There are times where I honestly wished that it would ape "Die Hard" a little more--Channing Tatum is a hell of a lot more charming and compelling than Gerard Butler, with more humble origins as a secret service <i>applicant</i> who doesn't meet Maggie Gyllenhaal's (another "The Dark Knight" connection!) exacting standards, but he could still stand to be less sure of himself. We get a couple of bits of John McClane-esque "this is a bad idea" moments, but not really enough of them. <br /><br />Otherwise, though, the places where "White House Down" distinguishes itself from "Die Hard" tend to be done well. Channing Tatum's politics-obsessed daughter is the Holly Gennero analogue, trapped in the occupied White House, and using her keen vlogging skills to leak information to the outside world. In most action and horror movies, cell phones are so inconvenient to plot contrivance that they have to be disposed of quickly, but this is one of the few things I've seen where a smartphone is not just used well, but made integral to the story. For much of the movie, Tatum is accompanied by Jamie Foxx's not-Barack-Obama President character, and the dynamic between the two is pretty entertaining--it takes a page from "Die Hard with a Vengeance," which is my second-favorite "Die Hard" flick, so that's a bonus for me. <br /><br />"White House Down" follows the "Die Hard" formula with the minor characters, though it's not <i>quite</i> as skilled in giving them all good moments (the Glenn Beck stand-in is a fun idea but doesn't really get much to do). It does manage "Die Hard"'s trick of making seemingly innocuous lines and details, like a throwaway note about the tunnels that JFK used to sneak Marilyn Monroe into the White House or Tatum's daughter's flag-twirling, into more significant story elements down the line. It gives the movie a sense of cohesion that, again, too many of the pretenders miss. "Die Hard" is full of those moments, and it's really pretty shocking how much of the dialogue is foreshadowing. <br /><br />I think the worst part of "White House Down" ended up being its politics, which are straight-up bonkers. The President has made a treaty with a bunch of nations that requires removing all the American troops from the Middle East, and in a world where even <i>talking</i> to Iran or withdrawing <i>some</i> troops is cause for major bipartisan pants-soiling in Congress, that broke my suspension of disbelief more than any other aspect of the film. Until, of course, it turns out bad guy James Woods's plan was to <i>nuke the entire Middle East</i>. I think the idea was to prevent the film from being too real-world political by inventing scenarios that were so over-the-top that they couldn't be owned by either major party, but it might have been better to go a little more subtle. <br /><br />It seems I've come to the end of this rambling without an overall point. To sum up: "Die Hard" is an excellent movie, and is smarter than most give it credit for. Too many of its imitators (and sequels) are dazzled by memorable lines and explosions, and miss what made the movie clever and unique enough to stand the test of time. But if you're in the mood for a "Die Hard"-style flick that has a sense of humor about itself and also has an action President, you could do worse than "White House Down." Specifically, you could rent "Olympus Has Fallen." That would be worse.<br /><br />Apropos of nothing, there's a line in "White House Down" (I think) which we misheard, and it sounded like something about Harrison Ford, which brought up the notion that to deal with the threat of White House-occupying terrorists, they needed to bring in the Battle President, and that would be amazing. Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-23079651023508994792013-12-16T20:45:00.001-06:002013-12-16T20:47:48.147-06:00How I feel right now<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C1CezugUOzY/Uq-7RBqqpwI/AAAAAAAAC3w/WK-NFnQJCVo/s1600/FinalChapter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C1CezugUOzY/Uq-7RBqqpwI/AAAAAAAAC3w/WK-NFnQJCVo/s1600/FinalChapter.jpg" /></a></div>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-81659449854523465422013-11-16T10:07:00.000-06:002014-06-30T14:42:18.231-05:00Ender Bender 11: Chapter 8, "Rat" (Part 2)Sorry about the delay, folks. Jumping right into things:<br /><br />Ender notices Dink's late to things sometimes, so he decides to stalk him. <br /><br />Remember how I said things were going to get weird? Yeah:<br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><blockquote>But Dink didn't practics. He stood near the door, watching Ender. <br />Ender stood across the room, watching Dink. <br />Neither spoke. It was plain Dink expected Ender to leave. It was just as plain that Ender was saying no. <br />Dink turned his back on Ender, methodically took off his flash suit, and gently pushed off from the floor. He drifted slowly toward the center of the room, very slowly, his body relaxing almost completely, so that his hands and arms seemed to be caught by almost nonexistent air currents in the room.</blockquote><i>Yeah</i>. Reading that scene, I couldn't stop thinking of the bathing scene from "Witness." I don't know how to interpret Card's fascination with underage nudity throughout this book. I mean, maybe it's trying to be like a camp thing? I never went to summer camp, so I really don't know. Do boys (and a single girl) just spend all their time naked at summer camp? Is this the equivalent of Dink skinny-dipping? If so, what does that mean for Ender just watching from the 'shore'?<br /><br />This book is flipping weird.<br /><br />Dink gets dressed again and takes Ender back to the empty barracks, where they talk about why Dink's never been promoted. Or, more accurately, why he's refused the promotions he's been given. It's all because of <i>The Man</i>, man. <br /><blockquote>["]I can't believe you haven't seen through all this crap yet, Ender. But I guess you're young. These other armies, they aren't the enemy. It's the teachers, they're the enemy. They get us to fight each other, to hate each other. The game is everything. Win win win. It amounts to nothing.</blockquote>Take the red pill! You can't trust the system! In case you didn't remember when Ender explicitly statd this lesson before, the adults are the real enemy. You know it's a theme because they keep saying it. Like that bit of "Hamlet" where he says "lo, indecision is bad" a few times. <br /><br />Despite doing his level best to make any and all subtext into just plain text, there's a decent amount to unpack here. For the most part, I've been looking at Battleschool as symbolizing military training--both the aspects that Card thinks are stupid and the things he thinks would make it better and more effective--but this chapter connects it further to the whole notion of sports in school. It clicks with a lot of things, actually, and I'm a little shocked that I didn't notice that in Salamander Army, Ender was essentially picked last and forced to play <a href="http://youtu.be/tOE-4C491Vo">right field</a>. <br /><br />Dink is saying stuff that wouldn't have been out of place coming out of my mouth during a pep assembly in high school. The game is a waste of time and money, a barbaric, brainless distraction from the real issues. Of course, in this case, the people best able to espouse this view are the ones who are best at the game, and not the ones who (like me in high school) couldn't catch a pass to save their lives. <br /><br />And this is where I see all the people saying that <i>Ender's Game</i> talks to kids without talking down to them (which I think includes Card himself in that introduction) and wonder if they're reading the same book. Maybe it's just me, but this kind of over-the-top pandering feels like condescension. "Sports are stupid, and you'd be better than anyone at them if you wanted to be. The only reason you're not popular is because they're all jealous of you, because you're clearly better than all of them anyway. They don't see the real truth, that they're just pawns in someone else's game and you're one of the enlightened few who can see the strings and how pointless it all is. What really matters is video games, which you are awesomer than anyone at." It speaks to that particular kind of disaffected, self-aggrandized, oversimplified conspiratorial mindset that I know was common among my teenage peers. And it speaks to that mindset in a way that says, "yes, you're absolutely right," with a little pat on the head. It'd be great if this book eventually took a turn toward showing that, in fact, this view of reality is not much more sophisticated than the one held by the so-called pawns, but based on the tone here, I don't particularly expect that to be the case. <br /><br />Dink says he doesn't leave because, despite everything, he's as addicted to the game as anyone else. He's the pro-wrestling fan who knows it's all staged but loves it anyway, the video game addict who knows next year's Call of Duty sequel won't be appreciably different from this year's, but drops the $60 nonetheless. If nothing else, this contradiction in Dink's character feels realistic. <br /><br />He further explains why he's not a commander, pointing to Rosen's neuroses (because <i>of course</i> the Jewish character is neurotic. Did Card learn everything he knows about Judaism from Woody Allen?), that he's afraid of the dark and doesn't understand why his team actually wins battles.<br /><blockquote>Any minute somebody could find out that Rosen isn't some magic Israeli general who can win no matter what. He doesn't know why anybody wins or loses. Nobody does.</blockquote>Nobody, except <i>strategy genius Ender Wiggin</i>, that is! <br /><br />See, this whole system has replaced real childhood, which Dink knows about because books. <br /><blockquote>"Children can lose sometimes, and nobody cares. Children aren't in armies, they aren't <i>commanders</i>, they don't rule over forty other kids, it's more than anybody can take and not get crazy."</blockquote>This reads like it's meant to be cutting social commentary, but about what? Little league? <br /><br />Dink continues on, and Ender starts crying because he thinks about home and Valentine, which causes Dink to continue more about how they're all supposed to be adults and nobody cries. He talks about how crazy Bonzo is, that everyone at Battle school is a little crazy, and how getting naked and floating in zero-g is how he deals with the craziness. <br /><br />And eventually we get to the crux of the conversation:<br /><blockquote>"I can't believe you still believe it."<br />"Believe what?"<br />"The bugger menace. Save the world. Listen, Ender, if the buggers were coming back to get us, they'd be <i>here</i>. They aren't invading again. We beat them and they're gone."<br />"But the videos--"<br />"All from the First and Second Invasions. Your grandparents weren't born yet when Mazer Rackham wiped them out. You watch. <a href="http://youtu.be/7qKcJF4fOPs">It's all a fake</a>. There <i>is</i> no war, and they're just screwing around with us."</blockquote>It's all a <i>conspiracy</i>, man, so the <i>government</i> can stay in <i>power</i> over the <i>sheeple</i>, man! And it's all gonna lead to a civil war where it'll be Americans against everyone else and by the way Dink's not American, which is info we're getting right now because it's relevant now and wasn't before so there's no need to go back and edit it in at a less awkward moment. <br /><br />Ender doesn't believe Dink's conspiracy theory, and chalks it up to a different conspiracy, that the Russian hegemony that controls the Netherlands, where Dink is from, tightly controls the local media, but "lies could not last long in America," and I just chuckle. And of course, as with every conversation, Ender learns an important lesson. And as with every important lesson that Ender learns, Card feels the need to spell it out for the reader, as if this were the end of a "G.I. Joe" episode. <br /><blockquote>It [the seed of doubt planted by Dink's words] made Ender listen more carefully to what people meant, instead of what they said. It made him wise.</blockquote>Ugh. <br /><br />Next time, Ender fights <i>the system</i>, man!<br /></span>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-64470708680108900532013-10-19T23:34:00.002-05:002014-06-30T14:43:55.911-05:00Ender Bender 10: Chapter 8, "Rat" (Part 1)Colonel Graff and Major Anderson, those are our adult conversation partners. I know they've both had their names said earlier in the book, but I'm writing them here so I can look it up easily and stop forgetting. Colonel Statler and Major Waldorf. Got it. <br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><br />Graff's trying to pressure Anderson into rigging the games, messing with the students to put more pressure on. There's a lot of back and forth about the battleroom games, what their purpose is and what they mean, and I had to keep going back and counting paragraphs so I could figure out which side each talking head was supposed to be on. Anderson wants to preserve the games as the status symbol that they've come to represent for the kids, Graff wants to put Ender through the ringer. It's hard to find any sympathy for Graff when he's so myopically, obsessively focused on one kid and trying to structure the entire system around that one kid, while Anderson understandably has <i>an entire school full of future soldiers</i> to consider. <br /><br />There's some "well I'll go over your head" back and forth, which brings us to this:<br /><blockquote>This is something to be decided by people who know what they're doing, not these frightened politicians who got their office because they happen to be politically potent in the country they came from.</blockquote>Haha, yeah, that civilian oversight of the military is <i>so lame</i>, amirite?<br /><br />There's also "Ender Wiggin is ten times smarter and stronger than I am," which I can't help but read as "Ooh, Poochie is one outrageous dude." Graff goes on a bit about how he could never withstand what he's putting Ender through. Why he thinks it'll work...is an unanswered question. <br /><br />And then we start the chapter proper in a not unexpected fashion:<br /><blockquote>"Ender Wiggin, the little farthead who leads the standings, what a pleasure to have you with us." The commander of Rat Army lay sprawled on a lower bunk wearing only his desk.</blockquote>Flatulence? Check. Characters talking about how great Ender is? Check. Young boys unnecessarily naked? Check and then some. Meet Ender's new commander, Rosen. And if you thought there might be some issues with characters like Alai and Petra and Bonzo, then let me reassure you: Card was <i>just warming up</i>.<br /><br /><blockquote>"We doing OK, Ender Bender.</blockquote>Oh hey, it's the title of this series!<br /><br /><blockquote>I Rose de Nose, Jewboy extraordinaire, and you ain’t nothin but a pinheaded pinprick of a goy. Don’t you forget it."</blockquote>...What.<br /><br /><blockquote>Since the I.F. was formed, the Strategos of the military forces had always been a Jew. There was a myth that Jewish generals didn’t lose wars. And so far it was still true. It made any Jew in the Battle School dream of being Strategos, and conferred prestige on him from the start.</blockquote>Okay, that is some serious Protocols of the Elders of Zion stuff--and the irony that I very nearly typed "Enders" there is not lost on me. So, everyone's forced to give up their religion, except the Jews? Or is Jewish being treated more as an ethnicity here? And either way, Jewish generals never lose wars? I don't even know where to begin, except to say that reading this reminded me of those "none of the Jews came to work on 9/11" conspiracy theorists. <br /><br /><blockquote>It also caused resentment. Rat Army was often called the K*** Force, half in praise, half in parody of Mazer Rackham’s Strike Force.</blockquote>You have got to be flipping kidding me. <br /><br />I wonder how many kids learned the k-word from this book. I suspect it's a good deal more than learned the n-word from a few chapters ago. I distinctly remember that my first exposure to that particular anti-Semitic slur was in a Wizard Magazine article, which discussed that the word had appeared <a href="http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2010/11/19/comic-book-legends-revealed-287/">in an issue of X-Men</a>, as a typo that was meant to say "killer." I don't know why Card thought it important to dredge up for this tasteless throwaway line in service of describing a tasteless stereotype character who might as well be voiced by Jackie Mason and drawn like a character from a Chick tract. Maybe the word was more common in the mid-'80s, or maybe anti-Semitism is more widespread in the places Card frequented in younger years than they appeared to be throughout my development.<br /><br />Either way, what the actual hell? <i>And it goes on</i>.<br /><br /><blockquote>There were many who liked to remember that during the Second Invasion, even though an American Jew, as President, was Hegemon of the alliance, an Israeli Jew was Strategos in overall command of I.F. defense, and a Russian Jew was Polemarch of the fleet, it was Mazer Rackham, a little-known, twice-court-martialled, half-Maori New Zealander whose Strike Force broke up and finally destroyed the bugger fleet in the action around Saturn.</blockquote>Those Jews notably don't get the credit because they're politicians, even though Card's stance that the leadership of the military and not the individual soldiers deserves credit for successful battles. Leadership only counts if it's not civilian leadership.<br /><br /><blockquote>If Mazer Rackham could save the world, then it didn’t matter a bit whether you were a Jew or not, people said.<br />But it did matter, and Rose the Nose knew it. He mocked himself to forestall the mocking comments of anti-semites—almost everyone he defeated in battle became, at least for a time, a Jew-hater—but he also made sure everyone knew what he was. His army was in second place, bucking for first.</blockquote>"Almost everyone he defeated in battle became, at least for a time, a Jew-hater."<br /><br />You guys, I don't even know at this point. It seems like the only consistent thing in this effed-up future is the hate. Prejudices never go away, it's just that minorities learn to laugh at them (like Alai), use them (like Rosen), or accept them as the natural products of biology (like all the women). <br /><br />And six-year-olds sling around ethnic slurs as meaningless jokes. Including our hero, everyone. <br /><br />This scene keeps going, despite all sense of tact and dignity, and it just becomes more and more baffling.<br /><blockquote>"We only got three rules here. Do what I tell you and don't piss in the bed."<br />Ender nodded. He knew that Rose wanted him to ask what the third rule was. So he did.<br />"That <i>was</i> three rules. We don't do too good in math, here."<br />The message was clear. Winning is more important than anything.</blockquote>I'm glad Card spelled out that clear message, because I certainly wouldn't have gotten "winning is everything" from "we're bad at math." Somewhere along the way in my English education, I was told that you shouldn't write things like "it is obvious" or "it is clear" because if it really were those things, you wouldn't have to say them. It's nice that Card has decided to ignore those rules, just as surely as he ignores that "show, don't tell" one, and the "revise your rough draft" one.<br /><br />Though I'm sure that Card probably thought that having a Jewish character be bad at math was as subversive as having the black character (mostly) not talk in the AAVE-style slang. <br /><br />Rosen is placing Ender in Dink Meeker's [pla]toon, and tells him not to use his desk, because he doesn't want genius programmer Ender messing with his program.<br /><br />That program?<br /><blockquote>Everybody erupred in laughter. It took Ender a moment to understand why. Rose had programmed his desk to display and animate a bigger-than-lifesize picture of male genitals, which waggled back and forth as Rose held the desk on his naked lap.</blockquote>Well, there's some verisimilitude for you. If the years of being in schools have taught me anything, it's that no matter how advanced a technology is, some guy is going to draw a dick with it. <br /><br />Ender finds out that Dink specifically requested him, and begins a habit of offering sage cynicism that continues throughout the chapter. <br /><blockquote>"Listen, Ender, commanders have just as much authority as you let them have. The more you obey them, the more power they have over you.</blockquote>That's so deep, man. Dink is our resident James Dean. <br /><br />Ender gets to have a more active role in the battles this time around, but while Dink enthusiastically trusts Ender's zero-g instincts, he doesn't entirely understand them. Because that's not something you'd eventually get used to or figure out the more you did it over several years or anything. It's certainly not the kind of thing that adult astronauts who spend just a few months in space adjust to so fully that they have a hard time readjusting when they return to Earth. But I guess a few hours each week in battles is different from full-time zero-g. <br /><br />So if zero-g combat and coordination is so important, why have gravity in the rest of the station? <br /><br />Ender's tactics catch on, despite the other soldiers' reluctance and inability to totally intuitively comprehend the relevant physics. I know, how <i>gauche</i>. Being part of a real army makes Ender even more popular among his launch group. <br /><br />Back in the barracks, Rosen reminds Ender that he was ordered not to use his desk. And the Ender who was smugly polite to Bonzo is nowhere to be found in this exchange. He's been emboldened by Dink's cynicism, clearly:<br /><blockquote>Ender set the desk on his bunk and stood up. "I need trigonometry more than I need you."<br />Rose was taller than Ender by at least forty centimeters. But Ender was not particularly worried. It would not come to physical violence, and if it did, Ender thought he could hold his own. Rose was lazy and didn't know personal combat.</blockquote>Yes, our Jewish character is lazy, lewd, unserious, and only interested in <strike>money</strike>winning. Keep subverting those tropes, Orson! <br /><br />There's some back-and-forth about how Ender disobeyed commands in his last army too, but of course it's a good thing because Ender did it. Naturally, this leads to retaliation, as Rosen decides to throw Ender out into their next battle all on his own. <br /><br />And, naturally, Ender turns it into a victory:<br /><blockquote>It was Centipede Army, and they only began to emerge from their door when Ender was halfway across the battleroom. Many of them were able to get under cover of stars quickly, but Ender had doubled up his legs under him and, holding his pistol at his crotch, he was firing between his legs and freezing many of them as they emerged.</blockquote>No subtext there, no siree. So Rat Army wins, in no small part due to Ender's efforts, and this kind of ambush attack becomes a trend. And Ender stops being the first in the standings but then he gets better and becomes the best fighter ever always forever. <br /><br />We'll leave it there for today. Next time, things get <i>weird</i>. <br /></span>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-83517537101150342522013-10-12T10:57:00.001-05:002014-06-30T14:43:55.917-05:00Ender Bender 9: Chapter 7, "Salamander" (Part 2)When last we left off, Card was ticking "misogyny" off the list of offenses he's happy to commit in this novel. Ender and Petra have agreed to train together in their off hours, and that's where we pick up now. They have a positively <i>riveting</i> conversation about gravity manipulation, which appears to be borne--like so much of the last few chapters--out of Card's sudden realization that there are some inconsistencies in the world he's created, and his unwillingness to go back and edit things to smooth them out.<br /><br />And so we consider why the space station which achieves simulated gravity via rotation still has gravity just outside of the zero-g battlerooms, and come to the conclusion that technology has advanced since the last war, and adults have lied about it.<br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><br />Petra realizes, quite accurately, that gravity manipulation would make for some devastating weapons--something I recall being a plot point in the Mass Effect universe--and Ender concludes that the adults have been actively deceiving them.<br /><br />But...why? What reason would there be to hide gravity manipulation technology? Are there Bugger spies about, collecting intel on enemy technology? Wouldn't the existence of this technology be something to train with? The zero-g battleroom simulations might give a part of the process--no longer functioning with the assumption of a single gravitational well--but wouldn't do anything to train people in how to function in a variable gravitational field. Fighting when weightless won't do much good if you don't know how to fight when you weigh ten times as much as normal, or when gravity suddenly changes directions. <br /><br />But then, I'm not entirely sure that I understand the battleroom's purpose anyway. Up to this point, we've heard about the war in terms of "fleets," which implies epic space opera battles between fighters and ships in space, not single soldiers fighting other single soldiers as they careen through a weightless environment. That seems like a terribly inefficient method, honestly, and one that would be easily countered by, you know, using a spaceship. <br /><br />At the end of all this, Ender makes another theme explicit for the subtext-deficient: <br /><blockquote>[T]he most important message was this: the adults are the enemy, not the other armies. They do not tell us the truth.</blockquote><br />Ender and Petra do some target shooting, learning a bit about how the weapons work. Petra talks about some of the quirks of their light guns, and how lots of people make mistakes because they don't know how it functions--again, something it seems like it'd be worthwhile to teach the recruits. I get that there's a sink-or-swim philosophy going on, but it's not like everyone just learns these things through experience. Ender didn't; he had it told to him, by someone who had figured it out on their own. Meanwhile, others are developing bad habits that might hinder their performance in battle. It's a great method of education, if your goal is to produce a small number of people who function at a high level on any particular skill, and a large number of people who barely get by or worse, but it doesn't seem like it would produce a very effective army. <br /><br />Afterward, Ender joins the Salamander group on an army drill, during which he's instructed to sit aside and do his schoolwork. Much to my surprise, he recognizes that there's something he's not good at--specifically that Bonzo was right about his combat readiness, since all the other members of Salamander Army, by virtue of a rigid training regimen, are way better than he is. <br /><br />Not surprisingly, he realizes this because he decides to sit and silently judge Bonzo's tactics, because Ender is obviously the better tactician. Ah well, baby steps toward humility. Not that he needs it, because this isn't <i>Bonzo's Game</i> (which I'm pretty sure involved tossing ping-pong balls into buckets). Ender's the one with his name in the book's title, so he gets to be right about everything, including his realization that the well-rehearsed formations are too predictable, a point which will come into play in like three pages. Card doesn't engage in foreshadowing so much as rightbeforeshadowing. <br /><br />After the drill, Ender decides to use his free-play time to do actual practice, but the only people he can think of to join him are the kids in his launch group:<br /><blockquote>"Hey, the great soldier returns!" said Bernard. Ender stood in the doorway of his old barracks. He'd only been away for a day, but already it seemed like an alien place, and the others of his launch group were strangers. Almost he turned around and left. But there was Alai, who had made their friendship sacred. Alai was not a stranger.</blockquote>Beautiful, perfect Alai with his perfect hair and perfect teeth, and their sacred relationship. And friendly Bernard, of course. No mention whatsoever of Shen, because the people who matter to Ender are not the ones who show him compassion and respect, but the ones whose friendship would be useful or beneficial in some other way. <br /><br />Naturally, Ender talks them into joining him in some training exercises, but when he gets back to the Salamander barracks, he gets a dressing down from Bonzo. And considering how they already dress down in Salamander...(rimshot). <br /><br />Bonzo orders him to stop practicing with his launch group, and if you thought Ender was insufferably smug before, just you wait. <br /><blockquote>“No more practicing with those little farts.”<br />“May I speak to you privately?” asked Ender.<br />It was a request that commanders were required to allow. Bonzo’s face went angry, and he led Ender out into the corridor. “Listen, Wiggin, I don’t want you, I’m trying to get rid of you, but don’t give me any problems or I’ll paste you to the wall.”<br />A good commander, thought Ender, doesn’t have to make stupid threats.</blockquote>Right, if Bonzo were a good commander, he would have beaten Ender to a pulp to ensure Ender didn't fight back again, and to send a message to anyone else who stepped out of line. Right?<br /><br /><blockquote>Bonzo grew annoyed at Ender’s silence. “Look, you asked me to come out here, now talk.”<br />“Sir, you were correct not to place me in a toon. I don’t know how to do anything.”<br />“I don’t need you to tell me when I’m correct.”<br />“But I’m going to become a good soldier. I won’t screw up your regular drill, but I’m going to practice, and I’m going to practice with the only people who will practice with me, and that’s my Launchies.”<br />“You’ll do what I tell you, you little bastard.”<br />“That’s right, sir. I’ll follow all the orders that you’re authorized to give. But free play is free. No assignments can be given. None. By anyone.”<br />He could see Bonzo’s anger growing hot. Hot anger was bad. Ender’s anger was cold, and he could use it. Bonzo’s was hot, and so it used him.</blockquote>It's clear that Bonzo is in the wrong here, and overreaching, but Ender's condescending explanation isn't exactly going to help things. What happened to the kid who allegedly knew how to bring people together? Instead he's going to condescend to his superior, and when that doesn't work, he issues an empty threat. <br /><br />No, really:<br /><blockquote>"If you try to control my free play, I can get you iced." <br />It probably wasn't true, but it was possible.</blockquote>So a good leader doesn't have to make stupid threats. Except when they do. Add that to "bullying is bad, except when good guys do it" on the list of mixed messages this book is sending. And then, to rub some extra smarm in the wound:<br /><blockquote>"It isn't my fault you gave me that order in front of everybody," Ender said. "But if you want, I'll pretend you won this argument. Then tomorrow you can tell me you changed your mind."</blockquote>Spoiler alert: at the end of this chapter, Bonzo punches Ender around a bit. After this bit, I'm inclined to think it was justified. "I'll pretend you won this argument"? Wow. <br /><br />But Ender's the name in the title, so obviously that's exactly what happens the next morning. <br /><br />There's a battle between the Salamander and Condor Armies a few days later, and we see that the battleroom setup is a little different in the actual fights. There are big floating boxes designed to be obstacles, called "stars." And they lead to this wonderfully economical couplet:<br /><blockquote>Apparently the soldiers already knew how to handle the stars.<br />But it soon became clear to Ender, as he sat and watched the battle from the corridor, that they did not know how to handle the stars.</blockquote>I...I just...I mean...I don't even. That's exactly how it is in the book, two sentences, one right above the other, with a contradiction that completely invalidates the need for the first one, and which could have been fixed with about thirty seconds of revision. "Ender assumed Bonzo's formations already accounted for the stars, but it became clear as he watched that Bonzo just didn't know how to handle them." <br /><br />Ender watches quietly, and spends more time on his fascinating notions of how to orient himself in a zero-g environment. He gets shot at one point, which freezes his legs, but in such a way that he can use them as a shield. Not that it does much good, since he's been ordered not to do anything. And he doesn't. As a result, Condor is able to get five soldiers over to open Salamander's gate, ending the game.<br /><br />I'll note that a paragraph is spent on how good Petra is, calling her "especially deadly," and noting that she became the focus of Condor's fire. Petra is singled out for being the best shot in the group, and while we don't get a lot of indication of her skill relative to the other soldiers, it's pretty clear that she's something special. Which is part of what makes the treatment of women in this book so frustrating. This is "backwards and in high heels," the rare girl who can only be considered a near-equal because she's significantly better than all the boys around her. It's not what we'd expect to see if this were an equal society, nor is it what we'd see if there really were those evolutionary reasons for girls to tend not to make it to battle school. Wouldn't she just be equal, then? Not significantly different than anyone else? <br /><br />No, instead we see things the way they are in our real world, where women have to work harder and better to achieve less than their male peers. Where women are teachers and nurses and mothers but not soldiers. It's the world we expect to see when there are systematic institutional and social barriers preventing women from achieving equality. It is, yet again, a very straight white male utopia, with a straight white male chosen-one hero destined to save it. <br /><br />And I don't understand why, honestly, beyond Card's own prejudices. The <i>only</i> thing that would be different so far if half the battle school students were girls is the whole "Bonzo doesn't want you walking around naked in front of Petra" business, which was creepy and weird anyway, and even that wouldn't require much change to stay intact. <br /><br />Well, there would be one other difference: it would allow us to know, at least on the fringes of the story, that this is a universe where women can be more than just stereotypes and stock characters. Where it's not just the one token girl who's good enough to be one of the boys--and the other token girl who's placed on a pedestal, but still couldn't hack it because she's just too darn compassionate and nice. Madonna and Whedonesque. <br /><br />Moving right along, Ender realizes he could easily have prevented the loss, but he's a good soldier who follows orders as given. He gets to take smug satisfaction in having the best score of the match, since he never missed a shot and wasn't completely disabled. As a wise man once said, "the two sweetest words in the English language: de-fault!" Ender expects Bonzo to change his mind in light of this, but Bonzo holds fast. And Ender starts talking like a supervillain.<br /><br /><blockquote>After breakfast, Bonzo looked for him. "The order still stands," he said, "and don't you forget it."<br />It will cost you, you fool. I may not be a good soldier, but I can still help and there's no reason you shouldn't let me.</blockquote>You fool, you'll <i>pay</i> for this! RICHARRRDS!<br /><br />Actually, if this book suddenly turned toward Ender becoming history's greatest villain, it'd be a ton more enjoyable. <br /><br />Wheels spin for a few pages. Ender trains with Petra and the launchies. Salamander climbs the rankings despite how bad Ender thinks Bonzo's strategic skills are. Ender has a birthday and no one celebrates, but he and Alai kiss over a cake. <br /><br />Maybe not that last part. <br /><br />Incidentally he thinks about talking to Petra about home, and it reminds him of Valentine. Crazy how the one female character in the book reminds him of the only other female character in the book. Just crazy how that works. Isn't that crazy? And the only reason Ender's even here in the first place is because he wants so badly to protect Valentine. Because the person who defended him from his murderous brother is the one who needs saving. <br /><br />Ender begins his fourth game the next day. I don't have the patience to figure out how they're defining "game" or "fourth" at this point, but there definitely haven't been four actual intramural battles in the book so far. It's just a throwaway sentence that allows Card to work the title into the text. Salamander goes up against Leopard Army, which has a much more free-form way of fighting. They lose lots of people, but win the psychological victory, making Salamander panicked and fearful. <br /><br />Ender, meanwhile, freezes his legs as in the previous battle, so he can use them as a shield. When the last of Salamander's soldiers were defeated, Ender drew his gun and picked off enough enemy soldiers to make the game a draw. <br /><br />Everyone assumes that this was Bonzo's plan all along, but of course Bonzo is pissed. And rightfully so--stupid or not, orders are orders, and there's a hierarchy for a reason. How is Ender going to look at the soldiers under his eventual command who think they know better than him? <br /><br />Which is not to say that Bonzo is a great commander or anything, he's clearly a caricature of a terrible, overly-rigid commander, who prizes strict adherence to inflexible dictates rather than training a force that can respond effectively to enemy tactics. He's also, like, ten years old. <br /><br />Ender's sure that he's outgrown Salamander Army:<br /><blockquote>I've learned all I'm ever going to learn from <i>you</i>. How to fail with style, that's all you know, Bonzo.</blockquote>Yeah, because one week with a commander is really all you need to have to learn everything. But no, of course, Ender is right. His name's in the title. He recaps what he's learned:<br /><blockquote>The enemy's gate is down. Use my legs as a shield in battle. A small reserve, held back until the end of the game, can be decisive. And soldiers can sometimes make decisions that are smarter than the orders they've been given.</blockquote>Huh. I wonder if any such soldiers were fighting in <a href="http://tomfoss.blogspot.com/2013/08/ender-bender-1-introduction.html">Gettysburg or Grant's long campaign</a>. Based on what we've seen from Card so far, I expect these lessons to either come up immediately in the next chapter, or to never become relevant again. <br /><br />Ender's about to get into bed (naked, Card is compelled to tell us, for some reason) when Bonzo comes to tell him he's been traded to Rat Army. Then Bonzo slaps him hard, and punches him in the stomach, bringing him to his knees. <br /><blockquote>"You disobeyed me," Bonzo said. Loudly, for all to hear. "No good soldier ever disobeys."</blockquote>But of course, this begins turning the other Salamanders against Bonzo, because they know Ender's the only reason they didn't lose that battle. Ender Wiggin knows how to bring people together: give them a common enemy. <br /><br />He and Petra talk the next day about having to cancel their training sessions, rather than anger Bonzo further. Then he heads off for Rat Army--but first signs up for combat training so the next time he gets in a fight with someone like Bonzo, he won't get so badly hurt.<br /><br />I guess Card forgot that Ender was doing crazy kickflip action in the first chapter. <br /><br />Let's recap what we've learned: Bullying is bad, except when good guys do it. Friends exist only for your benefit and should be cultivated carefully and discarded quickly on that basis. Good leaders don't need to make stupid threats, the threats a good leader makes are anything but stupid. Soldiers should follow orders except when they think they know better than their commanders. <br /><br />Such heroism.<br /></span>Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13848504.post-85085641716699387742013-10-06T13:45:00.001-05:002013-10-06T13:45:33.841-05:00Not the EnderI promise I'll keep writing about this awful book, but it's obviously going to be a little late.Tom Fosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13796424725228769265noreply@blogger.com3