Tyra Banks craps herself

Okay, I don’t know whether this shit (Hi-yo!) is true, but the buzz is model/diva Tyra Banks crapped her pants during Fashion Week in New York. Here’s the horribly written first-hand account from magazine blogger Fabian Basabe. Then again, if I witnessed a Tyra bowel movement, I’d probably have trouble effectively communicating and maintaining consciousness:

I was asked to film an interview for a new project but being busy reporting the massacre it is during fashion week for paper magazine – by far my favorite assignment – I had to squeeze the interview in between shows and, in order to have it easy for everyone, i arranged to do it backstage at the tents in the w suite. Just when I start getting comfortable and ready, a group of madmen and madwomen storm in and take possession of the suite because… ready?… Tyra Banks messed herself and needed to change. Now, let’s break this down: messing oneself should not happen if you are older that 5 or younger than 90. if it happens and in fact you are older than 5 or younger that 90, then it should be one, single, very unfortunate episode which will bound you to be made fun of forever and you can’t complain about it. Now I would like to bring to your attention that Tyra’s people carried a change of clothes for her at NYC fashion week. Hmmmh… could it be that Tyra messed herself before? or just that her entourage is so organized that in case tyra would ever, maybe, possibly mess herself that one time, they have a change of clothes? I don’t know… but all these thoughts were twirling in my mind when in horror I was watching such an abomination, feeling so alone in the world. Meanwhile, everyone is looking at me, to see if i was going to throw a fit because i now have a production crew and no place to shoot. Excuse me please, the suite is great but i think I’m gonna go, you know…

Could Tyra Banks be a serial pants-pooper? I’ve always sort of suspected but never really had the journalistic integrity to voice such a theory. What’s most surprising is that Janice Dickinson isn’t running naked through the streets proclaiming to the world that Tyra shit herself. I figured she’d be all over this and even take out a billboard in Times Square. I’m sure it would read something classy like, “Hey, Tyra, I’m 90 and I don’t need Depends. Love, Janice. P.S. Lose weight.” Ah, the bonds of sisterhood.