“Blaming others is an act of refusing to take responsibility. When a person can’t accept the fact or the reality, they blamed another person or the situation instead of taking accountability.”

―

Dee Dee Artner

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“For every King is right in his own eyes and rests the blame to whoever he wishes to carry it.”

―

Auliq Ice

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Delegating. While I could argue delegating is one of the most difficult things you learn to do as you move up in an organization <and one you MUST learn or will inevitably fail>, accepting responsibility, blame or accolades, is a whole different discussion and an entirely different learning challenge.

I know.

I know.

That sounds odd even as I type that. You would think no one actually has to learn to accept responsibility for their, well, responsibility. But all you have to do is look around the hallways of any management floor and some leaders in the public eye and you will see a shitload of people who seem to have actually mastered the skill of placing blame on whoever they wish <other than themselves>.

Regardless. I would say that the difference between delegating and accepting responsibility can be captured in two key words — learn versus accept.

You have to learn how to delegate.

You have to accept responsibility.

Here is a truth. No one, and I mean no one, has to learn how to accept responsibility. You either accept it or you do not.

And to explain the ‘accept’ part let me remind everyone of “double joys and halve the griefs.”What I mean is that you learn to double down when accepting responsibility for ‘blame’ or failure and you only accept half the responsibility, at most, on the successes and accolades. In other words good leaders halve the griefs <if not accept all> to those you delegate to and double the accolades for those you delegate to.

That is the basic “good formula.”

But some people want zero the grief and 100% the joy. These are the quasi- leaders who authorize people to do things not out of good delegation but rather to distance themselves from any decision that may create a less-than-positive outcome.

Shit. No. Double shit.

There may be nothing more heinous in leadership management acumen than the delegation of responsibility with the intent to absolve one from potential negative outcomes. All potential repercussions get sifted first and foremost through the hands of the one who has now been authorized.

In other words that crappy leader handed someone some rope to potentially hang themselves with.

Setting my bitching & disdain aside, I have to ask why some run away from this responsibility.

Well. I will admit that making mistakes was a shitload easier years ago when I was a young whippersnapper attempting to move up in the business world. Bosses were fairly forgiving of mistakes and you learned that accepting responsibility for the bad as well as the good not only didn’t harm you but actually helped you grow as a person.

In today’s business world, shit, in the world itself, forgiveness isn’t that normal. Mistakes become opportunities to fire someone, demote someone or, in general, torture them. While in the good old days your mistakes became hallway whispers and break room gossip, today your mistakes become facebook posts, email chains and twitter memes. What this teaches people is assuming responsibility for a mistake has disproportionate consequences and doesn’t really help you grow as a person.

The way up, or to survive, seems to be somewhat dependent upon disproportionately shirking responsibility for the errors and disproportionately accepting responsibility for the successes.

It’s kind of the worst of both aspects.

In a past post I mentioned …‘accountability in today’s business world is stuck in the sludge at the bottom of the business moral barrel.’

I believe accountability for decision making in business is either nonexistent or far too random to be considered standard operating procedure.

To be clear <part 1>.

This is not about someone holding you accountable. This is about you holding yourself accountable especially when no one is holding you accountable.

To be clear <part 2>.

Today’s business world is strewn with cowards.

I know that sounds harsh, but not only do people fear being accountable in general they are absolutely scared shitless to be accountable for indirect consequences, i.e., being accountable for anything beyond the obvious cause & effect.

It is cowardly behavior.

And it gets worse in my eyes when I google search ‘integrating accountability in business’ and I find almost everyone discusses in some form or fashion the need to ‘clarify what it means to be accountable.’

WTF.

This is crazy to me.

Accountability for decision making, to me, equates to a some sense of fearlessness bred within an organization <some people call this “psychological safety”>. Fearless in terms of making mistakes <and not being overly chastised for doing so> and fearless in terms of a ‘doing what is right’ mentality.

All that said. Organization culture or not, people don’t need someone to define accountability or honoring commitments or any of that crap, people just need to assume responsibility & accountability as part of who they are and how they act. Holding yourself accountable is nothing more than following through with YOUR commitments and responsibilities whether you have authorized someone or delegated or any other excuse some of these cowardly leaders use to distance themselves from any real consequences.

Look.

We are responsible for our actions – all of them.

We are responsible for our inaction – all of them.

We are responsible for the repercussions of our actions & inactions – even the unintended results.

We are responsible for our thoughts and the behavior attached to them.

We are responsible for our mistakes.

And, yes, we are responsible for the actions & inactions of the people we have authorized shit to or delegated to.

Interestingly, an author Linda Galindo argues that the only true accountability is “personal accountability” and the only way to achieve it is to take responsibility for the outcomes of your choices, behaviors and actions– to the level of 85% of everything you touch or are associated with.

I could debate the 85%, but as far as the intent I couldn’t agree more. This seems like a hard thought for many in business to not only grasp, but accept.

Why? I could provide an excuse by suggesting in a world where it seems like collaboration is the standard operating procedure and tasks are delegated in a fragmented fashion <often under the guise of ‘specialists should work only on their specialty’> the actual outcome has been impacted by so many hands it is difficult to tie it to one hand, let alone the leader decision maker, directly.

This means many business people want to avoid assuming responsibility for others actions, or maybe better said, they don’t want to be accountable for something they didn’t have 100% ownership of.

This is really silly thinking.

No.

This is cowardly thinking.

Here is the good news.

People who have personal accountability are happier, more respected and more successful professionally.

People who have consistent accountability actually increase the likelihood that they WILL get some credit for indirect positive consequences.

So if you can fight your way thru the doubts in being accountable in certain situations and fight your way thru systems which seem to crucify you for mistakes and accept the responsibility, you will end up in a better place – as a person and professionally.

Best? You also get the satisfaction of laughing at all the cowardly assholes you see mumbling excuses, shifting responsibility and ultimately doing whatever they can to avoid any blame for the mistake/missed deadline/project gone wrong. The ones who are quick to point the finger at anyone and anywhere but themselves.

Yeah. I will admit. Some of those ‘blameless assholes’ are really slick when it comes to accountability and personal responsibility.

They vocalize responsibility … with caveats.

They accept positive accountability for anything that has any appearance of clear cause & effect wrapping it all up with anything that doesn’t have clear cause & effect and deflect negative accountability results with a flick of an “I authorized them to do it.”

They seek to have 0% griefs and 100% joy.

They are fucking cowards.

==

“We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.”

Ronald Reagan

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In the end.

This is about personal responsibility and personal choice. If you do not dare to do what is right then … well … it is cowardly behavior.

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“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or loneliness. It consists in daring to do the right thing and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political or other.

It consists in deeds not words.”

Mahatma Gandhi

==

I honestly don’t care about cowardly behavior, daring behavior or heroic behavior. Doing what is right and accepting responsibility & accountability should be required behavior of our leaders and shouldn’t be celebrated, it should just be expected.

Me? I believe no one should have to hold me accountable for my actions & responsibilities. No one but me should set whatever standard I set for myself.

Look.

All jobs carry the burden of some responsibility. I don’t care if you are the most junior maintenance person or the most senior person in the world. And if you have some responsibility you will also have the burden of accepting responsibility for what you do, what you may have asked someone to do and even some shit that wasn’t done <but would have been within your purview if it had been done>.

I just wrote about personal accountability and in that post I mentioned … ‘accountability in today’s business world is stuck in the sludge at the bottom of the business moral barrel.’

I believe accountability in business is either nonexistent or far too random to be considered standard operating procedure.

To be clear <part 1>.

Despite this being about working and the business world this is not about someone holding you accountable. This is about you holding yourself accountable especially when no one is holding you accountable <even though there is always someone holding you accountable in business>.

To be clear <part 2>.

Today’s business world is strewn with cowards. I know that sounds harsh but not only do people fear being accountable in general … they are absolutely scared shitless to be accountable for indirect consequences … being accountable for anything beyond the obvious cause & effect. It is cowardly behavior. It is the ‘refuge of scoundrels.’

Speaking of scoundrels.

Yes. I know there are good responsible people willing to assume responsibility & be accountable throughout business. They just seem harder & harder to find. And it becomes even harder because the scoundrels use two main tactics to throw you off:

– passive aggressive accountability.

Maybe we call this false humility. Under the guise of humility they appear to be accepting accountability in the beginning only to aggressively take a stance of pride or indignant with regard to ‘uncovering the errors or mistakes to resolve the issue for the future.’ This is the “I assume responsibility … BUT’behavior.

This is simply out and out fucking passive aggressive behavior simply playing the game to avoid the stickiness of accountability.

– selective accountability.

Whew. These scoundrels really know how to play the game and play people.

Suffice it to say, not all accountability is created equal. These scoundrels seem to have a sixth sense on when to assume accountability and when to side step and let someone else take the blame. They have a knack for invariably selecting the situations which gain them ‘they are accountability type people’ status and selecting the situations to avoid which would taint them with some ‘they seem to make a lot of mistakes.’

While businesses claim they embrace ‘mistakes with good intentions’ they aren’t really. The reality is they abhor and are relentlessly critical of those who dare to make mistakes – well intended mistakes or lazy mistakes. These selective type scoundrels are incredibly good at easing the mistake label over to someone else.

And beyond recognizing the scoundrel tactics … it gets worse in my eyes when I google search ‘integrating accountability in business.’ Almost everyone discusses, in some form or fashion, the need to ‘clarify what it means to be accountable.’

WTF. This is crazy to me.

Clarify what it is? Please.

Accountability, to me, equates to a fearlessness bred within an organization — fearless in terms of making mistakes <and not being overly chastised for doing so> and fearless in terms of a ‘doing what is right’ mentality. This is organizational culture stuff <and some call this a version of ‘psychological safety’>.

If the organization doesn’t encourage accountable behavior than all it does is encourage employees to figure out a way of avoiding accountability.

All that said. Organization culture or not, people don’t need someone to define accountability or honoring commitments or any of that crap. People just need to assume accountability as part of who they are and how they act.

Why do I believe this? To me this conversation is like thinking that someone needs to teach people what integrity is.

You cannot teach. You either know, or understand, what integrity is or you don’t.

Holding yourself accountable is nothing more than following through with your own commitments and responsibilities. It’s doing what you know you should do when you should do it.

Look. Simplistic cause and effect explanations are for cowards. Business is rarely simple cause & effect and organizations are much more complex than simple cause & effect.

If you want a linear life … well … you are screwed.

We are responsible for our actions – all of them.

We are responsible for our inaction – all of them.

We are responsible for the repercussions of our actions & inactions – even the unintended results.

We are responsible for our thoughts and the behavior attached to them.

We are responsible for our mistakes.

Interestingly, an author, Linda Galindo, argues that the only true accountability is “personal accountability” and the only way to achieve it is to take responsibility for the outcomes of your choices, behaviors and actions – to the level of 85% of everything you touch or are associated with. I could debate the 85%, but as far as the intent – accountability beyond direct cause & effect activity – I couldn’t agree more.

This is a hard thought for many in business to not only grasp … but accept.

Why? In a world where it seems like collaboration is the standard operating procedure and tasks are delegated in a fragmented fashion <often under the guise of ‘specialists should work only on their specialty’> the actual outcome has been impacted by so many hands it is difficult to tie a result to one hand directly.

This means many business people want to avoid assuming responsibility for others actions or, maybe better said, they don’t want to be accountable for something they didn’t have 100% ownership of.

This is really silly thinking.

Uhm. But here is the really really hard part about accountability in business.

While you can’t hide behind simple cause and effect with regard to being accountable <you are also accountable for indirect consequences>, conversely, you cannot take credit for indirect successes.

I know … I know … you want to.

But that’s not how it works.

You are accountable for indirect negative consequences and not credited for indirect positive consequences.

Someone can give you the credit, but you cannot claim the credit.

Here is the good news.

People who have personal accountability are happier, more respected and more successful professionally. People who have consistent person accountability actually increase the likelihood that they WILL get some credit for indirect positive consequences. So if you can fight your way thru the doubts in being accountable in certain situations and fight your way thru systems which seem to relentlessly crucify you for mistakes you will end up in a better place – as a person and professionally. And you also get the satisfaction of laughing at all the assholes you see mumbling excuses, shifting responsibility, slyly pointing fingers and ultimately doing whatever they can to avoid any blame for the mistake/missed deadline/project gone wrong.

The ones who are quick to point the finger at anyone and anywhere but themselves.

Oh.

Even then … some of these ‘blameless assholes’ are really slick when it comes to accountability and personal responsibility. They vocalize responsibility … with caveats.

They take accountability for anything that has any appearance of clear cause & effect all the while including anything that doesn’t have clear cause & effect <but will make them look more successful/competent>.

They are cowards.

Here is my true fear on this accountability thing.

People are beginning to blame the organizational culture, or society, for their individual behavior. It reminds me of something Reagan said years ago <which seems relevant today>:

==

“We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.”

Ronald Reagan

==

While I could rant and get myself all wound up on business organizational culture … I won’t. I will suggest this is about personal responsibility and personal choice.

If you do not dare to do what is right … well … then … it is cowardly behavior.

==

“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or loneliness.

It consists in daring to do the right thing and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political or other.It consists in deeds not words.”

Well. I saw this quote in a book last night and immediately wrote it on a piece of paper.

Could you ever imagine a business person suggesting something like this? … suggesting surprising the world with one of the most ordinary common things in Life?

Everyone would think you were fucking crazy.

Everyone would start shouting …

“We need something new!!”

“We need to be unique!!”

Well. Let’s face it. Most new things suck.

Most new ideas are just bad. And most new shit just stinks.

All that said ……

“With an apple I will astonish the world.”

I wish more businesses would think this way. Within the ordinary always resides a small mundane thing which is incredibly easy to view as mundane, as common, as useless, or even pedantic.

Yet each ‘ordinary thing’ also has the capacity, if we are open to it, to usher us into an experience of something extraordinary, usher us into some new way of looking at the ordinary, usher us into some new way of experiencing the ordinary.

Even the ordinary contains infinite possibilities <if we would only seek it there>.

Within finite often resides the infinite.

Within each of us ordinary people resides something extraordinary.

I mention that last point about us ordinary everyday schmucks <people> because we need to remind ourselves something experts have been trying to tell us for quite some time … “ no one is born a genius … genius takes time and opportunity to develop.”

David Shenk <The Genius in All of Us: New Insights into Genetics, Talent, and IQ> described genius as a process, not something someone has or is borne with, but rather something that someone does.

We all have some genius within us.

We all have the ability to take something ordinary and surprise the world with something extraordinary.

This belief, this understanding of self, far too often is trampled in the rush to get things done and the search for ‘something new.’

As we rush up & down the hallways of our businesses we tend to overlook the opportunities in the ordinary.

As we rush up & down the hallways of our businesses we tend to overlook opportunities, and potential, found in the seemingly ordinary people.

<sigh>

Surprise the world with an apple.

What an awesome thought. What an awesome thing to actually do in business. What do I mean?

I can guarantee 2 things if you surprise the world with an apple:

business success:its called optimal newness. If you take something ordinary and make it newly extraordinary to people it offers them something familiar and something extraordinarily new. people love that.

personal success: I don’t know if its monetary success, but i do know there is little more satisfying than walking into a business, taking something ordinary that 99% of people have overlooked or dismissed, and bringing it to Life in a way no one had really thought of doing so before.

“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there’s no room for the present at all.”

—

Evelyn Waugh

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Ok. Sometimes when people suggest ‘live in the now’ I think they are a little flippant and possibly naïve.

I say this as a person who recognizes that if you manage the ‘now’ well, uhm, pretty much everything else, especially the future, will take care of itself.

Regardless. The reason why I think these fortune cookie philosophers are a little naïve is that it ignores the fact that most people get squeezed not really by the grind or ‘to do list’, but rather mentally by the past & the future.

You just get squeezed in your head which basically clutters up your head so much the present seems infinitely small.

Well.

Unfortunately.

The present is small.

It just gets even smaller when squeezed by past and future. And then you start trying to cram in all the tangible shit you need to do <as well as the things you don’t really need to do but have convinced yourself it is ‘need’>.

Holy shit.

This means “don’t blink” because if you do the present has completely disappeared. While it makes my head hurt just typing this there is a reason I bring it up.

While I have written ad nausea about managing time in general and how we focus on the wrong shit <spending more time making lists than actually doing shit> I would suggest that if you want to manage your time more effectively you need to get your head out of the ‘past & future’ head game. If you do that effectively than you have effectively given yourself at east a chance <no guarantee> you will effectively maximize your present time.

I am not suggesting this will make living in the now any easier, but it will certainly declutter your present increasing the likelihood you may actually be able to not only maximize your present tangibly … but also emotionally.

Maximizing your present, the “now”, is hard. Fucking hard. Anyone who suggests it is easy or ‘you should try and do it more’ is … well … fucking crazy.

Reality?

You get squeezed by time <shit to do crammed into a smaller bag of time>.

You get squeezed by head <past & future>.

You get squeezed by heart <what I would love to do … or family … or …>.

You get squeezed by wallet <I gotta pay the bills for god’s sake!>.

Therefore, unsqueezing at least something makes it better.

If you can unsqueeze from between past and future, that seems like the easiest and smartest one to attempt.

But, hey, that’s me.

The present is a pretty cluttered moment for everyone. And decluttering the present is incredibly hard — for everyone. I imagine my point is if you cannot figure out a way of decluttering your present you will have absolutely zero, nada, zilch chance of living in the “now” and, maybe worse, you will never even be able to recognize the present from the past or the future – it will all get squeezed into one small moment after another small moment of ‘nothingness‘ crammed with a lot of ‘somethings.’

“Okay,I said. But remember, you can’t fixeverything in the world for everybody.”

“However,”said Ricky, “you can’t doanything at all unless you begin. Haven’tI heard you say that once or twice, ormaybe a hundred times?”
―

Mary Oliver

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In business I am a self proclaimed renovator. That means I like to fix things. Well. No. It means all I know how to do is fix things and I believe everything can be fixed.

This also means I cannot build shit from scratch.

For me it’s all about improving and/or fixing. Interestingly I have a small group of friends who are fixers (while meeting a variety of business people over the years I haven’t really met many what I would call true fixers). I don’t believe the ‘fixer’ ability is really that unique nor special nor even that it takes excessive intellectual capacity, but I believe the true fixers remain a relatively small group because there is an inherent slightly warped perspective <I will get back to that>.

Anyway. I just talked to another ‘fixer’ about her job <and quitting it>. As usual, we spent some time talking about fixing … and what if we couldn’t actually fix something.

Now. This is a quasi-epiphany like discussion. Because fixers believe they can fix anything. It doesn’t matter. Whatever needs fixing we believe it can not only be fixed but that we can fix it. And I truly mean whatever.

We aggravate a lot of people (who aren’t fixer personalities) because we are also pragmatic respectful-cynical optimists. What do I mean? To believe anything can be fixed you have to have gobs of optimism. Relentless optimism. This isn’t ego. This is simply a belief that nothing cannot be fixed. Ah. But there is equal amount of pragmatism. Because you also have to be practical, logical and ruthless with regard to tearing apart whatever needs to be fixed to put it back together so it is fixed.

A fixer is cynical, and respectful, of every component and part and piece and person of that which they are fixing. A good fixer recognizes parts need to be fixed to completely heal the whole and, yet, some parts don’t need to be fixed – just reconfigured with the new fixed parts. Therefore a fixer is cynical of all that has come before and currently is while at the exact same time respectful of all pieces and parts. I would note, as part of the respectful attitude, rarely does a fixer find what needs to be fixed was created by a blithering idiot. Business is strewn with brilliant people being asked to do things beyond their own brilliance. The odds are you are fixing some unintentional consequence rather than some intended misguided behavior.

Respect that which is.

Be cynical of what is.

A fixer dances this dance better than a winner on dancing with the stars.

Beyond the personal fortitude and characteristics fixers eventually need help (although it pains them to admit … oh … and the help recognition typically only comes with some maturity). This comes because Fixers never blame anyone else when things don’t get fixed- only themselves (it comes along with the whole “able to fix anything” mentality). It is a reflection of the personal responsibility to fix.

Anyway. The recognition of need for help is important <which is why you don’t see a lot of older fixers … not recognizing the help factor affects mortality rate>. Because although you get better at assessing “fixability” with time and experience once you are actually in the ‘fix game’ the focus is (laser like) is on fixing. And if you don’t have someone else around to clean up behind you or maybe cover your flanks it can get dangerously blinding toward the end game (without regard for an escape path).

Okay. Let me take something back. We don’t aggravate most people. Frankly, most people just don’t like us. Regardless. If you accept the optimism and pragmatism and respectful cynicism then you will understand this next thought. This means we will go as deep into the hole for as long as it takes to fix the innards. And keep going and stay until it is fixed.

There is an inherent danger in this. In fact. Lots of fixers die down in the hole. They just get sucked so far into the black of the hole they cannot see the way out. And worse, the unimaginable, what if we can’t fix it? We often don’t know when to try and stop fixing (a by product of the fact we just cannot believe it can’t be fixed).

When my friend and I talked we laughed (a little uneasily) about the unfixable to fixers. Admitting something cannot be fixed to a fixer rocks the foundation of everything we stand for. How do we deal with it (so we don’t spontaneously combust)?

Well. First. We justify things by saying “we cannot fix it ourselves” (we need others to be aligned). And in many cases this is actually true. We share this thinking grudgingly. True fixers believe all you really have to do is to show the way and others will inevitably recognize “the way” and will follow your lead (doesn’t have to be true following it can simply be replicating desired behavior). Why did I make that point? True fixers like to lead but that isn’t what they are all about. Its about …well … fixing. Anyway. The truth is that some things cannot be fixed solely by a fixer.

Second. As we gain experience and face fixing problems with significantly more depth and breadth we recognize there are truly aspects of “alignment” necessary to make the “fix” work. Therefore seniority, titles and responsibility are a means to an end. Most fixers would accept the title of “waste management apprentice” as long as limitless responsibility was attached to it. Fixers don’t attach self worth/esteem/actualization on titles or money but rather the ‘fix.’

Ok. I say all this because the big discussion with my friend was on a counter offer when faced with her resignation. (note: Now. I admit. I am not a counteroffer fan – as a giver or receiver … I kind of feel it is a lose/lose deal. Well. Both may win short term -employee stays and gets what they deserved in the first place- but long term the employer is unhappy they were forced to do something and employee is aggravated they had to force their hand)

But the big discussion centered around “is what they are offering going to enable you to fix” as well as “would anything be able to fix” and finally “what should you outline as your ‘if I were to stay here is the only scenario’ counteroffer.” Note that all is discussed with an eye toward the fixer nirvana — fixing something. And we had the incredibly difficult moment as we reached an “I don’t think you can fix it discussion.”

I didn’t like saying it.

She didn’t like to hear it.

And if I wasn’t a fixer (talking to another fixer) I am not sure she would have really listened.

Yet. In the end we both agreed no counteroffer was not worth considering unless it enabled the ultimate source of the resignation impetus – the inability to fix.

Ok. I wrote this for a couple of reasons.

– Self-reflection as a fixer-renovator.

Strengths (or maybe not a strength but rather simply ‘what you do’) follows the general rule in life … balance. Because whatever it is that you do … it comes at the expense of something else. It is silly, if not foolish, to believe you are good at everything or the thing you are good at makes everything else unimportant. As with everything in life it is all about tradeoffs. I tend to believe that is why there is a relatively small circle of fixers. As with anything not many people are willing to sacrifice some pretty important things to focus on a specialty like fixing (which can come at a fairly high cost).

– Reflection on what you may be good at.

I imagine I like writing about focus and recognition of what you really like to do as well as the good and bad that comes along with such a recognition. I am a really really lucky man (ok … possibly just an overgrown boy). I know what I am in business (not sure I know in everyday life … still perpetually learning).

The good and the bad. And the risks that come along with the rewards. I admit that I was really fortunate as I passed through middle management.

I always had someone who would send me down the rabbit hole and let me go as deep into the dark as needed and make sure that I never got too lost in the dark as well they also “fixed” (or enabled) some of the really necessary ancillary stuff so I could fix. And, in hindsight, they also had the ability to recognize what could be fixed was fixed and pulled me out before I killed myself on the unfixable <note: not everyone is as fortunate>.

But. And this is a big but. I am a fixer through and through. Even now. Even though I know some things are so dysfunctional they cannot be solved by me, my initial thought is always “it can be fixed and I can fix it”. And I am no different than other fixers.

I say that last point just to say … despite the fact I am relatively aware of all this I am not sure it makes anything easier in the end. Other than the fact I have drawn a clear line in the sand with regard to what I will do and won’t do and what I will compromise and what I won’t.

I hope that is a good thing. It may not be, but it is a decision I am okay with. Because I am a fixer.

“Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered that she had turned into the wrong person.”

Anne Tyler

==

So.

Accountability is a surprisingly tough concept. Huh? Accountability is easy to grasp, even likable in concept, but incredibly difficult to implement.

Being accountable can be … well … gut wrenching on occasion.

And while I am tempted to write about this in a business environment … my stomach couldn’t take it today <accountability in today’s business world is stuck in the sludge at the bottom of the business moral barrel>. Instead I will talk about it within an everyday Life perspective. Personal in that while we face the day to day grind we sometimes miss out on the little accountability aspects of life that make us slip down the slope of ‘less than I wanted to be as a person.’

It happens in such small missed accountability increments that you get a little surprised when one day you look in the mirror and see you not only haven’t turned out to the be there person you meant to be, or wanted to be, you have actually turned into the wrong person. What a semi-miserable moment when you ask yourself … ‘are you pleased with what you see?’ … and the answer is … <sigh> … no. I say semi miserable because while pretty much anything you have done up to this point cannot be undone … you can certainly start doing what you want to do to begin the path to a ‘yes’ answer.

Ok. But let’s get back to the here & now and accountability.

Life doesn’t make accountability easy. Life demands constant relentless accountable moments. It is a constant day to day, moment to moment, challenge. You cannot relax for one moment.

Therefore. You have to constantly hold yourself accountable.

I know … I know … it doesn’t sound fair. You are kind of hoping Life would be more about putting yourself on the right path and assuming that if you keep putting one foot in front of the other you will just keep on down that path … and you can start looking at other things.

But you can’t. You have to constantly hold yourself accountable. I don’t have any ‘how to’ advice to offer mostly because I believe most of us know what accountability is and what it takes to be accountable.

I imagine I wrote about this because when I saw the quote I used to open this post it made me think about the constant attention accountability demands. It is the constant aggressive nature of Life itself in seeking the little moments you are not focusing on accountability … and making you pay for them. And the fact that accountability is tricky because it is not just your actions for which you may have to pay the consequences for … but also your inaction.

Yup. You are also accountable for the things you don’t do.

Accountability is really all about assuming responsibility.

Responsibility for not only being in the right place at the right time and doing the right things … but responsibility for when you are in the wrong place at the wrong time and do the wrong thing … as well as responsibility for not being ‘in place’ at all.

Shit. Accountability is tough. It is a harsh judge & jury.

All that said.

Why does this matter?

Why did I even write this post?

“… who discovered that she had turned into the wrong person.”

Turning into the wrong person is the price to be paid for not constantly holding yourself accountable.

sometimes quality people follow me and i actually cry and whisper “i’m so sorry you’re going to regret this”

—-

(Source: danny-castellano)

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So.

The quote I open with made me think about leading in business … specifically about me as a leader and what I think about those who I was fortunate enough to lead.

If you go online you can find a million articles about what makes a great leader … heck … on how to be a good leader.

That said. In general … if you have to go online to learn how to lead and be a leader … well … you are not a leader.

Look.

I loved leading. I loved being the captain of a team. I loved being the pilot of a ship <pick your trite metaphor here>. But I never assumed that simply because I had a title or was selected to lead that everyone would want to actually follow. This gets trickier once you arrive at some high falutin’ title and responsibility where you cannot hand pick everyone on your team. But maybe it is prior to that high falutin’ position where you earn the most valuable lesson.

Lesson?

I think any leader worth half a shit is humbled by the quality of people who choose to follow.

I think any leader worth half a shit is worried those people will regret that decision at some point.

Yeah. Leading has another side to it … those who elect to follow you. And that is where one of the most important lesson resides. People actually choose to follow you. That said.

I can only comment on this topic from my own perspective.

I do know for sure that it doesn’t matter what type of leader you are <1> if no one follows you will get nowhere fast, and <2> if the wrong people are following you … you will get nowhere fast.

I will admit.

One of the hardest things in the world in business to do is to find people with the same intentions that you have. This becomes important because at some point leading demands motivating in some form or fashion. Me? I don’t think I was ever particularly good at motivating individuals one at a time. The good news with having that weakness is that leading that way is incredibly time intensive so I never did it.

I learned to simply focus on my message. Maybe more importantly … I focused on an ‘attitude’ more than any specific ‘desired behavior.’ I kind of figured that, if I could encourage a certain type of attitude, the behavior would follow. A lot of leaders hated that belief … and still do. They prefer established certain types of behavior and model their leadership within that construct. I did not and it permitted those who chose to follow me to follow a variety of paths … walk in their own shoes … and, yet, still walk within the same attitude construct with the same intentions that I had.

As a result I have worked for and with amazing companies, products & services and people.

I don’t think I did it through any ‘big personality’ <I have seen and met charismatic leaders and I ain’t one> but I always seem to have ‘my community of followers’ who were incredibly loyal to me … and I remained incredibly loyal to them.

Somehow this all permitted me to leverage the naturally scant resources any leader has <time, energy, money, attention> to not only have an effective team & organization but also attract others to come by and join this merry & mad group of followers. Through it all I always looked to create some convergence of my own conviction with the wants & needs of the individuals … and this included even the individuals who I were fairly sure were quite hesitant to follow my lead <and, yes, they exist with any leader>.

I will also admit that I never really thought much about purposefully sharing any real substantive value to the people who elected to follow nor did I attempt to purposefully share any substantive value to people I wanted to have join this merry band. Huh? <say what?>. I never thought about trying to create some compelling message or try and be compelling … I solely focused on my convictions, my attitude & beliefs and … well … I imagine I thought of it as “I have a campfire, come sit down … and I hope you stay <if you want>” and hoped like hell that someone actually wanted to follow that conviction, attitude & set of beliefs <and I never assumed anyone did and was pleasantly surprised when someone did>.

And.

Well.

I was always humbled if someone decided to stay and warm their hands on the campfire.

I never studied on how to be a leader. I never read any books on leadership.

My only mantra was “would I want to follow me” and maintain the behavior and attitudes which would seem like they would make me feel like I was treated with dignity, respect and value <and be my version of interesting & meaningful>.

It may sound odd … but … I figured if I could please me then … heck … some other people would at least be semi-pleased <because I always felt like I was hard to please>.

I certainly wanted to be dynamic beyond my own purpose <and still do> and kind of built that into how I wanted to be as a leader. I am not sure this was representing some grand vision or ‘manifesto’ or even some ‘purpose-driven’ type flag for everyone to follow … but it was more than some personal goals and raises and basic desires of ‘coming into work every day and doing what you need to do.’

I never did anything calculated in my leadership. It almost always resided in attitude.

And I think it allowed me to be me and to let those who decided to follow to emerge in their own way beyond simply daily desires to get shit done.

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“Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily, even if you had no title or position.

Conduct a personal assessment and ask yourself, ”Would I follow me?”

–

Brian Tracy

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I absolutely buy the fact that a leader has to give people something they want or need. I don’t care if it is ideas or purpose or productivity <outcomes>. I just don’t buy the fact you can purposefully sit down and create it.

Sure. You can hone what you know you should be doing but you cannot learn what you should be doing. I am also not sure you can always purposefully create the challenges which create interest as well as establish some north star meaningful purpose … which we all know is what someone who elects to follow thrives on.

I always felt like if you created the right attitude your job as a leader was more of a herder than a creator or a motivator. And I always felt like ‘passion’ was overrated <albeit many people commented that they saw moments of passion from me … personally … I thought it was simply moments that I focused on something>.

I absolutely understand that passion is contagious but I always worried that passion can easily fade. I always felt like I owed people who elected to follow more than passion.

When your employees sense that you have a deeper conviction, not passion, for what you do I always believed they got the sense that what they’re doing is a little more worthwhile. It was not that everyone felt like they were on some path towards something bigger but rather they were permitted some moments in which maybe they could not only be better versions of themselves but also maybe, just possibly with a little luck & fate, be part of something greater than ‘oneself’.

I don’t think I was, or am, a particularly humble individual … but I certainly was always humbled that someone, even one person, chose to follow my lead.

And I know I read somewhere that being humble in business doesn’t equate to not taking credit for your work or ideas but rather taking responsibility for your mistakes as well as the mistakes of your team … and acknowledging when someone following you can do something better than you.

Well.

With that definition I guess I could attach ‘humble’ to me but it does not wear well. I think it is just responsible leadership and it doesn’t need any label.

Leadership is certainly not for the faint of heart. Responsibility is always a burden … and if you are responsible for people the burden increases … and … if you are responsible for people who have actually CHOSEN to follow you … well … the burden increases exponentially. But that ‘not for the faint of heart’ is not really courage … it’s more about some fashion of fearlessness. I am pretty sure I wasn’t a particularly great leader. But what I did do is breed a sense of fearlessness in those who followed me.

In the end.

I can really only say one thing.

If you want to lead … you do what you do … you have some strong conviction and attitude <beyond ‘perfection’> … and if people follow they follow. I imagine at some point I said … well … fuck it. I am going to live the way I want to live Life … live business the way I want to live business … and if that mean I am leading? Great.

If it means some people follow? Great.

If it means some people think I am full of shit ? Not so great … but I will live with it.

If it means some people will run away from where I am going? Also not so great … but as long as they don’t think I am fucking nuts … I can live with it.

I did everything in my power, every minute of everyday to insure anyone who elected to follow me never regretted that decision. And I never regretted that choice nor the responsibility that came along with it.

But what I really learned, and know, is that having followers who have chosen to follow you, while humbling, is the best & greatest burden you can have.

Why?

Because one of the hardest things in the world to do is to find people with the same intentions that you have. And when you do? Whew. That is the reason you lead. It is maybe the best part of leadership.

“We cannot cram the embryonic world of tomorrow into yesterday’s conventional cubbyholes.

Nor are the orthodox attitudes or moods appropriate.”

–

Alvin Toffler

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Finnish educator Sahlberg shrugs.

“There’s no word for accountability in Finnish.

Accountability is something that is left when responsibility has been subtracted.”

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“Real winners do not compete.”

Samuli Paronen

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So.

We talk about accountability a lot these days. And for some odd reason it always seems to get tied to ‘responsibility’ in that it shows proof you have been responsible.

For some reason, even though I do like some accountability measurements, I have always struggled with quantifying responsibility.

I do believe Life demands you to be accountable for a variety of things and I do believe Life demands constant relentless accountable moments … but responsibility, to me, is either something you assume as a duty or … well … responsibility <assuming I can ever have responsibility for responsibility>.

But beyond my belief the rest of America wields accountability like club.

It is the watchword of today’s culture. It almost seems like society believes if we have enough accountability measurements in place we can actually force accountability.

This seems ass backwards to me.

It seems to me that we would be much better off teaching responsibility and then accountability almost becomes unnecessary.

Well. that may be one of the most un-American thoughts I have ever shared.

Which made me think about how we got to this absurd place with regard to accountability because, honestly, my sense is that we Americans haven’t always been this way.

And I also thought that there had to be some root foundational attitude that was driving it.

That said.

Here are some thoughts.

America has always had an uneasy relationship with competition and winning. Swinging back & forth between winning is everything to everyone wins.

In my opinion this is all grounded in America’s ethos of “doing.”

From day one the pilgrims and Indians were aligned with doing. Some people called it survival but survival can take on a variety of forms and ours was an adventuresome version of grabbing the bull by the horns and just doing shit.

Initially this came to fruition in the form of agriculture.

There was no competition. There was no winning. There was simply everyone doing. That didn’t mean there were contests of skills but those skills being measured for winners and losers were not based on productivity but rather … well … a skill.

<jumping several decades>

And then we crashed into the industrial revolution where doing was measured by output. Winning and success became more competitively quantifiable.

<jumping several decades>

And then we decided that if measurement was good in manufacturing … what the hell … everyone and everything should be measured. We assumed people were responsibe but measured with an intent to … well … compare & contrast winners and losers of responsible people.

<jumping several decades>

And then we ran into the really uncomfortable thought <which the founding pilgrims most likely would have been horrified by> that we … uhm … shouldn’t assume everyone would be responsible so we created an entire industry of “accountability & measurement.” <note: I could argue this was the beginning of the general unraveling of trust and ‘fairness’>.

<jumping several decades>

This all then got even more complicated <and exacerbated the situation> when we created “non making shit industries” or entire industries based on servicing people who had money to be serviced as well as entire industries based on managing money <or making $’s off of $’s … not shit that is actually made>.

Therefore, not having any tangible shit to assess doing we crafted a tangled web of ‘accountability’ measures to … well … measure the intangible winners and losers <and then even compared the value of a tangible doer against an intangible doer>.

Suffice it to say that while you could haggle over some of my decades everything is grounded in doing and attempting to measure, or create winners & losers, the ‘doing population.’

But I imagine my main point is that the origins of doing were inextricably tied to responsibility.

Everyone assumed equal responsibility therefore the doing need not be measured and the doers need not be measured.

I am sure something like accountability was in the backs of some of the leaders minds but the overall sense was responsibility equality need not have milestones or objectives or even ‘mid project assessments.’ The leader viewed what was happening and nudged the underlying sense of responsibility.

Somewhere along the way the output and outcomes and competition measurement began to outweigh teaching ‘principled & responsible behavior.’

We turned the equation around backwards and … well … shoved accountability up everyone’s ass.

It seems to me in my pea like brain that we have things out of whack.

And I will not suggest America be anything but American.

We like to just do shit.

And we do like winners & losers.

But it seems to me that we also like fair competition and we truly like beating the best. And if that is true then we should seek to apply accountability to fairness.

As in if you want to preserve American competitiveness the country has to prepare not just some of its population well, but all of its population well.

This benefits society, benefits all players in the game <the best have to up their game because even the non best get better> and it benefits America’s competitive place globally.

No one should be left behind. All should be able to compete at their best.

You can still have winners & losers.

And I imagine you can still compete if you want.

But I could argue, and would argue, that if you did this then all the wacky accountability crap we weave into business & life would be diminished significantly.

We could focus less on accountability and more on just doing shit.

Toffler did not say the following with regard to what I just offered but the words resonate:

“These changes are cumulative that they add up to a giant transformation in the way we live, work, play, and think, and that a sane and desirable future is possible.

In short, what follows begins with the premise that what is happening now is nothing less than a global revolution, a quantum jump in history.”

<Alvin Toffler: The Third Wave>

Americans are consistently obsessed with tracking, testing, improvement measurement and fostering competition. We obsess over these things as if we can build a matrix of certain buttons we can push to actually foster this behavior.

By the way … none of those things foster independence, independent thinking or individual responsibility. All they do is foster pain avoidance or reward pleasure.

Shock me enough times and I will start doing even the most abhorrent behaviors just to avoid the shock.

It seems to me we would be better off as a country and society of we actually encouraged people to just do shit the right way because … well … it feel good to do it right and do it to the best of their abilities <EVEN if their best is not THE best>.

I know a lot of this sounds absolutely whack to many Americans.

Aspects of what I am sharing is so far out of our DNA I imagine some people are just laughing.

But I don’t want to change our DNA. I just want to activate the DNA that made us who and what we are.

The first settlers didn’t need accountability.

And for many years we didn’t need extreme accountability measurements and tests.

Our DNA was ‘just do it’ and a responsibility to just ‘do shit.’

We don’t talk about this issue often except maybe some of the education reform people. But I believe more of us should be talking about this beyond education … for business, for athletics, for … well … everything.

Here is one thing I know for sure.

We need to think about some changes in how we do things. And we should be thinking about ALL things … even the things we currently find “essential to the way we do things.”

Many people will disagree with me but, in my mind, accountability is one.

Just think about it. Think about what I wrote. It just seems like we have arrived at our current state of ‘how we view accountability’ through a variety of smaller type decisions and have inevitably fostered the creation of a Frankenstein.

But. That’s me.

Which permits me to close with one last Toffler thought:

Two apparently contrasting images of the future grip the popular imagination today. Most people to the extent that they bother to think about the future at all … assume the world they know will last indefinitely. They find it difficult to imagine a truly different way of life for themselves, let alone a totally new civilization. Of course they recognize that things are changing. But they assume today’s changes will somehow pass them by and that nothing will shake the familiar economic framework and political structure. They confidently expect the future to continue the present.

This straight-line thinking comes in various packages. At one level it appears as an unexamined assumption lying behind the decisions of businessmen, teachers, parents, and politicians. At a more sophisticated level it comes dressed up hi statistics, computerized data, and forecasters jargon.

Either way it adds up to a vision of a future world that is essentially “more of the same.”

A note about listicles: So we know a lot of people hate listicles and associate them with cheap, low-quality, traffic-driving, link-bait articles. But here’s the thing—a list is a great format for an article, and a format I was using on my old blog almost 10 years ago. In fact, my first listicle, 19 Things I Don’t Understand, was published in August of 2005, a year before Buzzfeed was even founded.

Then, over the last few years, I watched in horror as one of my favorite formats decided to prostitute itself all over the internet as the default format for lazy articles.

Anyway the point is, A) I was doing listicles before they were cool, and B) A list headline doesn’t mean it can’t be a high-quality article, so C) Wait But Why will make a listicle when it’s the best format for that post, and don’t be mad at us cause it’s not what it looks like.

This I a rant on listicles <all those articles you find online using simplistic lists to share what I will loosely call ‘knowledge’>.

I decided to write about listicles because I just had maybe my 100th meeting where someone at the table leaned forward and said with an expert tone “young people don’t read long articles and we need to offer lists to engage them.”

My head explodes over this simplistic drivel.

Listicles certainly have a role but creating a list for the sake of having a list is bullshit. Creating a list because you are too lazy to learn to write an article or a thought piece is bullshit.

Write your content.

If it is better delivered in a list than deliver it that way. On the other hand … if your content is better delivered as a story, with chapters and a moral <or dénouement and climax> then … for gods sake … deliver it that way.

The whole idea that young people do not read longer content is ludicrous.

They sit for 3 hour movies <Hunger Games>, they sit for 5 hours of Wii, they sit for 2 hours of texting … suffice it to say they will sit for as long as they are engaged an interested.

Next.

I could argue <and I will> that lists have attained the status of meaningless useless shit articles on social media channels. This is because some social media expert assholes <a lot of them in fact> have been simplistically recommending everything you should do online should be in a list format. Somehow they have convinced everyone that this is the format to deliver all content.

That is just fucking crazy.

Imagine if every movie director and every book author followed the same rule of delivering their content <okay … don’t … it would be the hell of monotony>.
Look.

I don’t argue that a list can be an effective way to deliver content and I am not opposed to offering up my content in a listicle format <although I will admit my contrarian attitude makes me slightly nauseated when I do so> but … well … think about what I just wrote.

I don’t decide to create a listicle I decide to create engaging content and then decide the best way to engage a reader to that content.

And you know what? This strategy is effective regardless of what age group you are targeting.

Interesting is interesting.

Engaging is engaging.

And attention spans will consistently expand or contract depending on what is interesting and engaging <as they have since the dawn of time>.

So please, please, stop with the listicle advice. It is misguided <I patted myself on the back for holding back on calling it bullshit advice … which was my knee jerk thought>.

The False Narrative of Writing On line Content

Write good content.

The format you deliver it can help, or hurt it, in terms of engagement but ultimately the format cannot save bad content and good content can be delivered in a variety of formats and be effective.

And as a quasi-writer myself … I would like to think good content will be read regardless of the format. That said … I will write in a listicle format kicking & screaming. And maybe with that attitude I will be inspired to write such engaging content that i don’t need a frickin’ listicle.

Because it suggests that somehow someway Life actually could favor someone if it wanted to.

Or maybe because it suggests that Life chooses winners & losers.

Or maybe because it suggests that we, people, look to Life to fill in the gaps we, the people, cannot seem to fill.

Or maybe because it suggests that we, people, simply do the preparation work to put us in some fantasy position wherein Life taps us on the shoulder and says “you get ‘x’ opportunity because you did the work.”

I will admit I believe Life has a warped sense of humor but in the end it is neither fair nor unfair. It is just a big puzzling confusing mish mash of opportunities, risks, obstacles and choices from which we, people, have to make a myriad of decisions as we navigate it all.

Is it unfair to not have straight paths to whatever we want or desire? No.

Is it unfair to have so many choices with no ‘reviews’ attached to each so we can assess them before forced to “buy one”? No.

Is it unfair to have this mish mash placed in front of us and no ‘how to manual’ in which to get some directions before we begin? No.

The only thing I can say about Life’s fairness is that everyone gets some opportunity presented to them. Bear in mind that this does not mean everyone gets equal opportunity … because not all opportunities are equal from one to another of us … but pretty much everyone gets an opportunity of some form or fashion … in some shape or size.

Look.

I am certainly not suggesting that Life doesn’t suck sometimes.

Nor am I suggesting that it may seem unfair when Life kind of piles on one trouble after another on you at certain moments. But I would suggest those moments, times and periods occur for everyone.

But that is neither fair nor unfair . It just is.

And you deal with it or you don’t. or, maybe differently said, you either deal with it well or you do not deal with it at all.

Life doesn’t actively set out to screw you.

Life doesn’t have some fair lever or another unfair lever it decides to pull as you appear in front of it.

I would suggest Life is simply indifferent to you and that you are the one who activates anything that may be deemed fair or unfair.

Uh oh.

Be aware that you are not alone in activating Life so what may appear as unfair to you was activated by some numbskull several zip codes away <who thought Life was being fair>.

Anyway.

Life isn’t unfair.

All you can do is to be fair to yourself, work hard, be persistent and keep your fingers crossed.

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“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors.

Try to be better than yourself.”

—-

William Faulkner

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And, in the end, while Life, or the universe itself, is under no obligation to make sense to you or to give you anything … Life will inevitably look like it gave you a pretty fair shake if you always try to be better than yourself.