A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display.

While he was there, an officer from the local RN base walked in and said to the shopkeeper "I'll take one of those monkeys, please."

The shopkeeper nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the officer, saying, "That'll be Â£2,000, please." The officer paid and left with the monkey.

The surprised tourist went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred pounds. Why did that one cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that's a special technician monkey, he can rig aircraft flight controls, pass the RN Fitness Test, set up a perimeter defence and perform the duties of any warrant officer with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money".

The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! Â£10,000! What does it do?" he asked.

"Oh, that one" replied the shopkeeper. "That's an "Engineering Officer" monkey. It can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance at the unit, intermediate, and Depot level, and even do all of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed".

The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in cage. The price tag was Â£50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?"

"Actually" said the shopkeeper "I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer, play with his dick and try to trap every female monkey, but his papers say he's Aircrew."