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CTE : Go Goa

If you thought that the CTE wing write up would be about heaving praises on its occupants ....Before we go any further, acquaint yourself with the following diagram. You would have to come back to it a lot.

AnujAnuj’s room is the party hub. Be it new years, be it birthdays, be it placements, and be it scholarships. If there is a reason to celebrate, it is being celebrated and it is being celebrated in his room. There is always enough stockpile of non-spurious alcohol for everyone. There is always enough music. And of course there’s his group of alcoholic anonymous (refer Fig. 1). They come, they see and they conquer all the potable water in the wing. (Aside: The author does not mind that as long as they support United).

While we have never seen him do anything even remotely academic, he had somehow kept a sub-7 CG but accumulated a string of scholarships and internships for himself. Of course if your area of interest is lalaland, then he is the authority to talk to. This small man has been credited with the quote “G is God …. God is G”.

He has quite a taste – in girls and otherwise. While in 1st year, he had a thing for a 3rd year bandi. Some of his other trysts with other girl(s) are well documented. Off late, he has been keeping himself busy by himself (if the plaster on his hand is any indication). All we hope that he doesn’t break any more doors (like he did to Myth’s).

MythPlaying a bride on stage, in kindergarten (and being nervous if there is going to be a suhaag raat scene), is bound to affect the way you shape up as an adult. Add to that the fact that he studied in a boys’ school and then came to KGP and then Patel. Hence, that Mithun ended up as the most loved/desired/lusted guy in the wing (if not the hall) is no surprise. We try to stay in his good books in hope that he would grant us some personal favours. Also the fact that he is rich (not the richest, though. cf: Sagi). End results: we all love him (refer fig 1). But the thing is ask him any question he would say “No”. Khaane chalega? No; FIFA khelega? No; Can I kiss you? No.

This cute boy is kinda delusional. He thinks “logon ki lene mein” he is great. Thus, he is prone to delve into “orgasmic laughter fits” when he thinks he has succeeded, especially with Rao Da. He is also prone to injuries, especially on footer fields, and he especially loves breaking the bones in his forearm.

Mithun, Myth, Maggu, Mota, Mallu – call him what you like, he has a way with things. He follows a meticulous, complex, intricate procedure to filter the girls he comes across. And then he settles on mallu girls. But don’t you expect him to make an effort for it, all he does is filter them; nothing further. At least not that we know of.

BishAhem Ahem. Well Bish is just Bish. If there is one thing Bish is an expert on, its “katwana”. No one can challenge him to that. While returning from Calcutta in a local train, he fell asleep, missed getting down in KGP, and spent 3 hours at the next station waiting for a train back to KGP; all this at one in the night. He did not clear GATE, because the chief invigilator found him dancing before the mirror in the toilet, with a cell phone in his pocket. If there’s a situation jahan katwana impossible hai, bish can do it. Girls, BTP, anything. Unlike Mithun, Bish actually makes an attempt with a girl – but end mein to katwata hi hai.

He bought a guitar, a toaster, a pair of dumbbells and a skipping rope, among other items. None of them are currently being used by Bish. And we all hope the skipping rope was not involved in satisfying any fetish or fantasy.

When Myth broke his hand (cf: Myth), Bish was the only one rejoicing, because he got ownership of Mithun’s room. These days, apart from using Myth’s computer, he is sleeping in his room, wearing his trousers, writing in his notebooks. He prefers to use his own Vaseline though.Lastly, it has been reported that Bish and Tiwari Da watched a movie in a multiplex, where the only audience was 2 couples sitting in two corners, and these 2 of course. God knows what they did there, they came down with a….

KhanduSince Khandu spends most of his time in/with RP (refer fig 1), a lot is not known about his whereabouts. We do know for a fact that he loves cricket and smoking. We are yet to figure out which takes a higher preference. Due to his love for smoke, he invariable owes almost every one of us some multiple of Rs 10. When he is not at Bhasky or in RP or preparing for CFA, he can be found as Bheema on 10.109.7.7 shouting start the game all ready.

Khandu Fact #1: Khandu jab 2 run bana ke out hota hai (which according to him has happened only once), that means the opponent bowler was some stud. “Yaar saame wala Ranji player tha yaar”.

Khandu Fact #2: While he has hardly ever been seen with a girl, he had quite a thing for a chinki girl when interning in Korea. And yes a girl wrote him a testimonial saying “Pehli baar jaana ki ladke bhi emotional hote hain, caring hote hain”.

Tiwari DaIf there is one thing Prabhakar Tiwari loves, then it is Ocean Engineering and Naval Architecture. Forget wing, forget bandi, forget everything else, Tiwari is interested in only one thing: Naav banane mein. So much so that he says that irrespective of his rank, he will make his brother join OENA in KGP. No wonder younger brothers hate their elder siblings.

So when Tiwari is not making boats, he is lecturing us on something. The topic doesn’t matter; the time doesn’t matter; if there is a discussion going on, Tiwari has to be a part of it. Funde dene mein no. 1 hai. Tiwari da ke funde.

Well he has the cleanest room in the wing. He takes 30 mins to comb his hair. He owns a printer, but charges his wing-mates, at market rate, for printouts. He even maintained a diary for tracking who owes him how much for print outs. (He lost the diary though, and had to seek Rao Da’s help. cf: Rao da). Other hobbies include mess contractor pe fine lagana, and enjoying tea at Anils with Adi and Rao Da.

He doesn’t just take load. Isko to load dene mein bhi maza aata hai, especially Myth ko.Here are a few things that we haven’t been able to figure out about Soni:1. Why does he roam around all day in a towel?2. MCM ka paisa jaata kahan hai?3. How many random girls are there on his gtalk/ skype?A few things that we do know about him:1. He hates Som. When everyone was shouting DOSA DOSA, Soni was shouting Som Som.2. He would be the first one among us to get married.3. He and Rao da were involved in a voluntary live-in for one semester.

SahuHow do I say this politely? Sahu makda hai. And of course is se sabse jyaada load Soni ko hota hai (cf: Soni). Again since he spends most of his time in the confines of Architecture and Regional Planning, a lot is not known about him. What we do know is that in terms of body hair, Sahu can easily beat Anil Kapoor.

Some of us have also learnt at a great price, what can be the cost of giving your cell number to him. You can expect calls from his home and his girlfriend at 5:00 in the morning and 2:00 in the night. He intentionally keeps his phone switched off/ out of order so that he doesn’t have to receive calls. And as a result Tiwari da, Sagi, Bish and Adi have to act as his secretary.

Also, Sahu is a Peeping Tom. He finds cracks in people’s doors (read Adi’s) and uses those vents when the latter is engrossed in his carnal ordeals. Understandably, he doesn’t shut his own door when involved in those ordeals himself.

Sahu and Bish have their own special bond based on vegetarianism and choreography (refer fig 1). These days though Sahu is trying his luck with Shanghai Chinkies.

HarshaFirst things first, Harsha’s got a hell of a derriere, even better than Myth. Now that’s a curve ball you can’t dodge; if you know what I mean.I know only Harsha can find sense in that last line, since he is just that. Pathetic jokes filled with euphemisms and innuendos. That’s not shocking for someone who spends 16 hours a day watching some TV series. So he thinks he can dance.

DSH’s biggest dilemma moment would be when Superman starts driving for McLaren Mercedes (cos he just loves Ferrari). If you initiate a discussion on this topic though, he would indulge in a monologue, intricately explaining why such a scenario is logically and factually impossible. Funde dene mein Harsha is second only to Tiwari, and the only difference is that while Tiwari talks gibberish, Harsha tries to make sense.

Harsha’s diet consists mainly of Lays and Wai-Wai (though these days he has taken to smoking as well, so much so that he is the one who supplied Soni with cigarettes). A packet of Lays might well be the reason why his room is always locked on the inside. Shockingly he did manage to clear GATE (cf: Bish), and even more shocking is the fact that he has not yet been deregistered in any course. Also, if you planning to go anywhere, he and Sagi would be the last one to get ready, so give them enough advance notice.AdiIf Myth is the most loved/lusted guy in the wing, Adi is certainly the most loving (refer Fig. 1). In fact Adi is the alter ego to most of us. All of us have hair, Adi is bald (at least making all efforts to get there). All of us work/will work for companies, Adi already has stake in 2 companies (albeit indirectly). And most importantly, we all are forgetful, Adi is …. well, the database.

While all specifications of this database are still being researched, it can be confirmed that Name, Department and Place columns of his database are well indexed and easily searchable. He has a special remarks column as well and specialises in guys from Hyderabad. The database is not restricted to the hall, and encompasses the entire institute. Although the GUI leaves much to be desired, this database is very user friendly.

He spends his free time seducing people. He is a brand shopper and owns a 20ml perfume bottle worth 20 Euros. If you need to use the database you can locate him at Anils (usually in the company of Rao Da and Tiwari Da).

SagiSagi soft spoken hai, lekin andar se harami hai.This particular line was decided to be a part of this writeup before any other. 2nd years coming for wing interaction call him soft spoken (read harmless). And it took us 3 semesters to realise ki who andar se harami hai. He keeps talking soft, aur sabka kaatta rehta hai. Of late, it has been observed ki woh kamina bhi hai. Also since this sem was the first time he has been at the receiving end of our banter, it has been found that he too takes load. Next batch of 2nd years: beware of him. He is our silent assassin.

It is well known that Sagi is the at least 5 crore man. That is his value in the dowry market. It started at 2 crores last semester, and while the rest of the world was caught in recession, he managed to revalue himself at 5 crores.

He is known to bribe his BTP guide by getting him sweets (poothareku) from home (Yo Gult guide for our soft spoken gult). But when a girl asked him for a treat in the SF arena, Sagi summarily refused. The girl kept nagging (Raju treat Raju Treat), but he didn’t budge.It is also known that Myth ke induction effect se, Sagi has also learnt to say “No”. That’s why he is called “motato” (var, Mota2). Except sabko paani pila deta hai. If you are thirsty, that is the time de doesn’t say NO.

Sagi Fun Fact #1: He wants to change his name to Sudhir.Sagi Fun Fact #2: Sagi rao da ke room se bhirni bhagata hai.Sagi Fun Fact #3: There are 45 letters in his name.In fact when he was in 2nd year, OP mein he only used to say Sagi Subrahmanya Raju (which was good for us), but when he came to 3rd year, bachchon ki maarne ke liye started using his full name: Sagi Veera Venkata Satya Ganpathi Subrahmanya Raju.Once again let it be known, Sagi andar se harami hai, lekin soft spoken hai !!!

and finally...Rao DaRao Da is the honorary post held by Ritwik (aka mango, keeda), for managing all financial matters of the wing, and he does exceptionally well.

Rao Da calculates who has to pay what after a dinner; Rao Da orders for everyone at restaurants; Rao Da plans Cal trip and knows who owes how much; Rao Da ke dictionary mein “keep the change” nahi hota; Rao Da is the right channel if you want your order to arrive quick (people who don’t follow this channel have been known to suffer); Rao Da has excel files of what’s been spent at every treat and trip.

Earlier Rao Da also used to be trip planner for the wing, but he relinquished that post the day Sagi proved ki woh andar se harami hai (cf: Sagi).

When it comes to funda, Rao Da stands third to Tiwari and DSH. Again, while Tiwari is gibberish and DSH tries to makes sense, Rao Da follows a simple axiom: Rao Da is always right.

It is universally known that Rao Da is a sucker for publicity. He loves being the centre of things (refer fig 1). While others were amusing themselves with the concept, Rao Da sneaked himself into the centre of that figure as well (quite literally). While it is not known how low Rao Da is ready to go, that he is writing his own write-up can be used as a benchmark.

If you are planning to buy a dSLR, here are the steps that you should follow.
The first rule of buying a dSLR is do not buy a dSLR.
The second rule of buying a dSLR is do NOT buy a dSLR.
Seriously! You may think that you are ready, that you know what you are getting into. But trust me, you are not. dSLRs are not just cameras, they are relationships. And like any relationship they have to be maintained – they require time, money and effort. And much like that rebound you regretted getting into, at some point you will regret this.

These things are big, bulky, heavy and conspicuous – you will probably require a separate bag when you are packing for a trip, you will have to sacrifice underwear or deodorant (or both) on that hike, the strangers would glare at you as they would at a monkey with a camera (which you most likely end up looking like anyway), and everyone will expect each frame you click to be poetry frozen in time. You can’t carry them to the local pub; you can’t dance with th…

Sometimes, I just feel lucky to be born when I was, to be born in this time and age, to have seen so many contenders for the "Greatest of All Time" tag.

Lucky to be born in the age of Michael Schumacher and watch him beat record after record. To be born in the age of Lance Armstrong, for whom beating opponents and records was but a secondary feat. To be born in the age of Zinedine Zidane, most certainly the best of this generation, the marquee headbutt notwithstanding.

Lucky to have watched not one, but two legends, pass the baton in tennis.When Pete Sampras lost in the Wimbledon of 01, it made fans of him hate that pony-tailed guy for ending his quest for a 5th consecutive crown. I know I did. But Pete shouldn’t mind that now, for over the course of next 8 years or so, Roger has shown that when it comes to beauty on the tennis court he has got the entire WTA beat, by a long shot (down the line).