New

As I stood in front of the school gate, a familiar feeling crept through me. I had always hated the “first day.” I hated the new routine that most of us night owls had to adopt. I hated the way teachers welcomed us with words about how this year would end with exams only to give way to another year with some more. Most of all I hated the feel of a new place where I would have to make new friends. I feared it. I didn’t know what to expect and I know that change is good and new is refreshing and I will grow as a person but for that moment in front of that school gate, none of those important philosophies mattered. All that mattered was that a new phase was beginning and for that brief moment between not knowing and knowing, I was scared. I squeeze her hand a little to let her know that i’m trying to be brave and that I will be ok. My heart pounds with the realization that I can never shake off this fear. I’m just not ready to let go of her comforting hand. And she just looks up at me with a twinkle in her eye and says, “Don’t worry mum, school lets out at 3.”