Thursday, 19 July 2012

Ohhhh my God! I am less than 2 months away from the biggest milestone of being a parent so far. Celebrating the First Birthday *grin*. We're almost there and I am soooooo excited. I feel like a child again (can't stop grinning).

As the big day draws near, I am in a quandary. I was a bit indecisive if I should plan anything for the big day. I was leaning towards nothing (kinda wanted to, but didn't have the energy). In came his dad and my mom (her first and only grand so far). Their excitement rubbed off on me and now I am supposedly in the midst of planning a birthday party. My idea was a very small gathering for family only, however, I do have close friends who I would like to share the moment and several have small children of their own. And the list grows bigger *sigh*.

Where are all the callers for party, party, party? On the sidelines cheering me on *hhhmmmmn*. With work and my life as a mom - the juggling act is on full blast. At work I can't find the time to do anything else and at home I am consumed with lil' man (becoming quite a handful). What have I done so far? Called cake place to get prices, found a venue ...... eeeeem, yeah, that's about it (remember, less than 2 months).

I found that even before it's started I have become flustered. In comes my Bestie tonight with some suggestions (love her *grin*) too bad she is so far away (I'd set her to work like no body's business). But, alas! I have found a starting point. I am definitely gonna have to make a final list of invitees and make some calls of things to get and such *sigh*. I hope to have all this pinned down by the time I go on vacation, so I can use that time to pick up the items (I smell a plan afoot *yay*).

I would very much like AAAAALLLL suggestions and input :) so feel free to comment away. Gonna catch forty winks and hope to dream of the perfect day with everything in place :)

Oh dear,lil' man is stirring.....ssssshhh. G'nite all.

PS: Remember to send ure suggestions and ideas :) all are welcome xoxo

Thursday, 12 July 2012

Before becoming a mother I gave only passing thought to a parent surviving the death of a child. I was mindful of my parents getting older and I would pray everyday for their health and strength and that of my siblings and loved ones. However, never imagined what it would be like to lose a child.

After the birth of my son I think I spent the first week at home crying every night that I would be a good parent and that he would come to no harm. It caused me severe stress at just the mere thought of anything bad happening to him.

This leads me to speak about my neighbours, a lovely middle-aged couple with two wonderful sons (a high-schooler and a young adult). I cannot tell you the shock I received when I woke one morning about a month ago to hear that the older son had died in a very tragic accident. This was a young man with a very promising future and on his final leg of completing university and would have graduated later this year. A young man with so much discipline in a society where it does not seem popular to be polite and respectful. A young man with his goals well known and his eye on the prize. I was devastated. Then my thoughts went to his parents and their grief, I wondered how in the world would they cope.

I reflected on the short time that I have known my son and the joy and love he has brought to my life in this span. I could only imagine how many more thoughts of the future and memories these parents had. Life can be so unfair, I thought. The weeks leading up to his funeral were hard to say the least. Friends, family, neighbours and well-wishers all shared in the joy of this young man's memory and the grief of his untimely passing. His parents and younger brother seem to draw comfort from the camaraderie and the prayers/devotions kept in his honour. Still I wondered how hard it was to bear when they were alone with their thoughts at nights.

His funeral is now passed and many of those who came, are back to their regular lives. Yet, what will regular now be for this family? A son whose laughter you will no longer hear, face you will only see in your mind/pictures and life you can only reminisce on. This week would have been his 23rd birthday, just another day to me and some others. However, another milestone to remind his parents and family that he is gone.

The happenings of these last few weeks have caused me to worry and fret over what could happen. Then I realised that this will not stop the inevitable from happening. So instead I try to build significant memories with my son and let each day count. I make sure he is surrounded by those who love and cherish him and pray that our inevitable is a lifetime away.

I hope to live a long and happy life with all my family and loved-ones. I pray that when we have to face one of life's harshest reality we can do so with a brave face and have a lifetime (however, long/short) of wonderful memories to soothe our hurt.

Until we meet again, stay safe and blessed and may you all find comfort and joy in your lives. xoxo

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Wow, my former little bundle is now a big bundle. One I can scarcely manage to lift or keep up with :)he is oh so active and into every little mischief. I just absolutely love it.

When I last left you he was toying with the idea of saying bye bye and was crawling/furniture cruising :) Two days after my last post I told him bye and he jabbered something and moved his hands and I almost never left for work :=)) in all my excitement. Now he actually waves and says an audible version of bye bye. He's still cruising, he lets go for a short while but grabs back on quickly. He has also taken up riding me like a horse when I get home in the evenings, since this new hobby he has bucked me and burst my lips twice. To say he's active could be the understatement of the Century.

I have to say that I have become more maternal than I have ever imagined. While always wanting to be a mom, several years of living on my own made me spoilt and a bit selfish. There is no room for selfishness in motherhood (at least, not for me). I have found myself getting up before day (I used to rinse the alarm clock til the very last second), just to be able to do things with him in the mornings before I leave for work. It just amazes me to watch his growth and transformation. I love his expressions, the way he poses for pics when he sees the phone/camera, the way he's so happy to see me first thing in the mornings and when I get home in the evenings, his little kisses and most of all I just love him for being his own little man :)

So far I have found this journey to be a bustle, with some unexpected turns but it is by far the most meaningful time of my life. I have been enjoying the newness of it all and embracing the familiarity and just plain going along for the ride. My son has forced me to appreciate life so much more and for that I am immensely grateful. It is all so fleeting (can hardly believe he will be 10 months on the weekend).

About Me

Hi! I'm Tracey-Ann Lawrence a fashionable, trendy and sexy 30something who wishes to share my adventures and mis-adventures of motherhood. Friends always say to me "you should get your own talk-show" frankly I think too many other persons have taken that advise from their friends (waaaay to many reality shows, which I shamefully watch), so I chose to blog instead ;).
I enjoy kicking my work stress out on a bag in kickboxing classes, going to the movies and having a drink with friends on a Fri eve (sadly, none of these has happened about a yr).
Come along with me as I juggle motherhood, a 9-5 job, trying to start my own hustle and desperately trying to regain my social life *sigh* this should be a bumpy yet interesting ride (fasten your seatbelts :D)
Follow me on Twitter - @traceyann_y