In his review of Identity Thiefin the Observer, movie critic and noted cranky old cunt Rex Reed said that Melissa McCarthy is “tractor-sized,” a “female hippo” and a “humongous creep.” I think he was trying to call her a fat fuck, but I’m not too sure. Right after Rex’s review came out, several industry people, including Identity Thief’s director, shat out balls of hate at Rex for criticizing Melissa’s body in a movie review. Melissa mostly kept quiet about it until a few days ago when she told The New York Times that she feels sorry for Rex Reed:

“I felt really bad for someone who is swimming in so much hate. I just thought, that’s someone who’s in a really bad spot, and I am in such a happy spot. I laugh my head off every day with my husband and my kids who are mooning me and singing me songs.”

UsWeekly asked Rex Reed how he feels about Melissa’s reaction and as he dried off his three chins after taking a leisurely swim in a pool of chlorinated hate, he stood by his comments and basically said, “Obesity: IT WASN’T NOT FUNNY!”

“I can only repeat what I have said before — that I do not have, nor have I ever had, anything personal against people who suffer from obesity. What I object to is the disgusting attempt to pretend obesity is funny. It is not remotely humorous, and every obese comedian who ever made jokes about the disease are now dead from strokes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes.

As a critic whose opinions are constitutionally protected by law, I stand by all of my original remarks about Melissa McCarthy’s obesity, which I consider about as amusing as cancer, and apologize for nothing.”

Every fat comedian who’s made a fat joke is dead? I didn’t know Mo’Nique and Louie Anderson were ghosts!

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