Posted
by
Soulskill
on Friday August 17, 2012 @03:31PM
from the but-i-like-pie-in-the-sky dept.

Nancy_A writes "The U.S. astronomy budget is facing unprecedented cuts, including the potential closure of several facilities. A new report by the National Science Foundation's Division of Astronomical Sciences says available funding for ground-based astronomy could undershoot projected budgets by as much as 50%. The report recommends the closure – called 'divestment' in the new document — of iconic facilities such as the Very Long Baseline Array and the Green Bank Radio Telescope, as well as shutting down four different telescopes at the Kitt Peak Observatory by 2017."

Tell congress we're under attack from space A-rabs and we need surveillance equipment pronto. We also need drones to go up there and find out what's going on. And manned craft as well just for good measure in case the drones miss anything.

Here, let me explain: Back in the 50s and 60s, America was on top of the world. We were clearly the best country that ever was or ever will be. Congress knows this because they all grew up then, and some of them killed a few Nazis, maybe. But now we're falling behind. And why do you think THAT is, huh?

No, you smartass young punk, it's because of SCIENCE. See, back then, we knew everything. Then you liberal science liberal types came by and told us we didn't. You know what happens when you do that? That's right, we get all confused and the country falls off-track and we lose sight of our goals and God.

So the sooner we can get this whole "science" nonsense taken out of the picture, the better. After all, our generation, THE GREATEST GENERATION, won't live forever if you tykes keep changing things! As soon as we get back to what made America great, we can get back to selling eight-ton cars, trench guns, and player pianos. And if we need anything else — which I SERIOUSLY doubt, and you can trust me on that — we can just import them from those foreigners in Asialand. That'll never come back to bite us.