new year

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Many,
many thanks for the fantastic comments in response to my previous post. I am
reproducing two comments for your perusal and comment.

carol l mckenna === quote----
We are all connected ~ Our parents
give us life and whether they take good care of us or not ~ to honor them in
old age by helping them in some way is a blessing both for the parent and adult
children. Yet many parents do not want to be a burden to their children; yet,
when the time comes they can no longer care for themselves their child or
children are the ones to become the caregivers. It is a part of the cycle of
birth, life, death. I was honored to take care of my parents and walk with them
through the dying process.

Unquote------- Caroll emphatically
says that children should help parents in some way whether they took good care of
the children or not.

NASHVILLECATS ------quote -------Excellent
topic and very much a subject in my life right now, I desperately need a little
support from my children at the moment, but the two who live nearest me haven't
spoken in years. My other son lives in Spain so is unable to help.
Despite emails to my other two they have fallen on deaf ears.==== unquote

You can see how irresponsible some
children can be when need arises.

Caroll Mckenna and Nashvillecats are
fabulous bloggers. Please do not hesitate to visit them by clicking on their
names. They will be delighted to reciprocate and be your good friends.

There is good news for parents in
India.

India is probably the first country
in the world to enact a law to help parents to get a monthly allowance from
irresponsible children. Most of my friends will be surprised to read this but
this is a fact.

Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007 is a
legislation enacted in 2007, initiated by Ministry of Social Justice
and Empowerment, Government of India., to provide more effective provision
for maintenance and welfare of parents and senior citizens. This Act make it a
legal obligation for children and heirs to provide maintenance to senior
citizens and parents, by monthly allowance. This Act also provides simple,
speedy and inexpensive mechanism for the protection of life and property of the
older persons. After being passed by the parliament of India received the assent of President of India on December 29, 2007 and was
published in the Gazette of India on December 31, 2007.

Indian society lays high importance on providing
care and protection for parents and elderly. Withering of joint
family system has contributed to the challenges faced by elderly. Nowadays
they are forced to live alone and are exposed to various kinds of problems such
as lack of physical, social, emotional and financial support. The first case under the act was filed in November 2011 by Siluvai (age 84)
and his wife Arulammal (age 80) of Tuticorin
against their son and daughter-in-law for neglect, besides taking away their
two homes and gold jewellery.Although this law is in existence many poor parents are reluctant to
approach the courts for monthly allowance from their irresponsible children because
they don’t want fight a case against their own flesh and blood. In the process
they suffer silently while their children are pursuing their goals and
happiness.I am sure you have some interesting
thoughts on this Indian law to safe guard parents.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

It is gratifying to read the
overwhelming response to the burning but delicate and sensitive subject. Most
of my friends took the trouble and their
valuable time to write detailed comments. I am reproducing some comments which
are in variance with Rama Ananth’s observations.

Adrienne Zwart----
Quote----Though I will hardly be able to
state my thoughts as eloquently, I think it is a gift for children to be able
to care for their aging parents. I realize that it isn't always possible, for
children do sometimes move away. So I do not mean to imply that children who
cannot do this are somehow less loving.
I have watched my own parents care for my elderly grandmother. For a time, she
lived with them until she recovered enough strength to live alone again. But
even still, my dad diligently takes care of arranging appointments and driving
her wherever she needs to go. I think she is proud to have a son that cares for
her.
While the author's position seems quite selfless, I think perhaps it might be
robbing her children of this blessing. Is it hard sometimes? Yes. Inconvenient?
It can be. But it can be a beautiful expression of gratitude for giving them
such a good start in life.---Unquote==Adrienne states that it is a gift and a
blessing for the children to take care of old parents. It might be hard and
inconvenient but it is a beautiful expression.

eye in the sky---
Quote---The premise here should depend on
the idea that the family is a basic unit of society whose members genuinely
care for each other. Taking that into account, priority should be placed on the
well being of each member. If old parents need help, I.e. Financial support,
why should their children be selfish enough to provide what they can? In my
country, it isn't even imposed. It should be a given concept. Family members
help out each other.

Unquote---Eye in the sky says that
members of a family should genuinely care for each other and should also
help their old parents financially if needed.

ღღČяїstinEεїз== Quote---For me, I strongly believe that children should support their
old parents. The same that parents should always support their young children.
Other things do not matter to me as I only do what I think is right using love
as my driving source. I love my parents so I will never leave them and I will
always support them, like how they supported me :)==Unquote===

Cristin says that she will show her
love for her parents not only by words but by always supporting them

Serendipity===Quote==It is embodied in the New civil code of the Philippines that
a family member should help and support each member of the family. But i think
even such obligation weren't written in Laws, children should help and support
their old as it is their moral duty to take care of their old. That, in time
when they get old their children will take care of them too.------Unquote=====Serendipity
says there is a civil code in her country for helping and supporting each
member of the family. Besides it is a moral duty. They are also setting a good
example to their own children.

Mystery Blogger===
Quote=== I would help and support my parents
however possible. They were the ones that gave me life, paid for my good
education, dealt with me through all of my teenage drama and stood by me when I
was a right little terror... they fed me every night and paid for college. They
gave me a car and blanketed me with safety and love all my life.
I think there comes a point where the favor must be returned. ====Unquote===Mystery
Blogger is very emphatic about supporting her parents in every possible way. It
is a favor that must be returned when the time comes. She gives many reasons
for this including the fact that that she is
here because of them

Locomente--- Quote----A very different
perspective which makes me think...
I think that children must support their parents - emotionally (mandatory) and
financially (if required). They must understand that parents have spent most of
their days in taking care of children. Challenges arise when parents become
possessive, obsessive, adamant and resist change. If they accept their child's
growth and also decide to embrace their child's decisions, life would be good
for both the parties. -----Unquote ----Locomente
thinks that children should give emotional support compulsorily and financial
support if needed.

Daisy --- Quote
==I think children should help their parents and take care
of them as they age. They are family and family should come first if at all
possible. It seems only right to return the love and care to the parents that
the parents gave to the children when they were small.Unquote ------ Daisy says
that family should come first and the only way children can return love is by
supporting them when parents need.

Jade
Wright Quote
-------- I definitely think there comes a time where the tables
turn and our folks are in need of our support...and after them being so lovely
to us over the years, supporting us through thick and thin and being hard on us
when it was needed.. we need to give back. Even if your folks werent the best
parents in the world... Unquote
------Jade makes it clear that children should support their parents if
required even if they were hard on them sometimes and even if
parents were not the best parents in the world.

Sherry Ellis, Ratty and Lea, also emphasized
very firmly that children should definitely support their parents even if they
don’t expect it.

These are fabulous bloggers
and I request you to visit them by clicking on their names. They will be
delighted by your visit and will certainly reciprocate. Please also visit the other wonderful friends
in the comments column in my previous post by clicking on their names. I hold them in high esteem and I value
their comments tremendously. This is a great opportunity to widen our circle of friends.

After reading these and other insightful comments I am
plagued by a plethora of questions such as these=== Why should parents not
expect their children to support them when needed? Is it enough if children express their love
merely by words and not by actually helping ? Why should children not help their parents
with money? Should there be a law to compel children who
don’t support their parents? Should children refuse to support their parents
because they were hard on the children sometimes and because they are not the
best parents in the world? What is the
meaning of family as far as the children are concerned, does this family
include parents? Is it not a sufficient reason for children to
support their parents that they are in
this world because of parents? Is it
not the moral duty and responsibility of children to support their aged
parents? Why should the children not
include in their goals and happiness, the well being and happiness of their parents? Is it not a gift, a blessing and a beautiful
expression of love for the children to take
care of their aged parents, even thought it might be hard and
inconvenient?

About Me

Hi, my name is Joseph Thomas Pulikotil. I hope you will find my blog interesting, informative and thought provoking.Please feel free to post your comments, opinions, appreciation,improvements, suggestions or whatever you feel. I will surely visit your blog and we will be good friends.