This WordPress.com site is about our life and experiences after retiring in San Clemente Ecuador

Rotisserie Tanning – Retirement Tips

One of my theories on retirement is that a happily retired individual should have an hour or so each day when his or her finger pads are wrinkled.

(I know that the entire subject of wrinkles is somewhat taboo, but I am referring to a specific area of the body – the finger pads – and not wrinkles in general.)

Finger pads are the fleshy area opposite the nail on each finger which contain one’s fingerprints – be it whorls, loops, or arches – used by law enforcement for identification purposes. As far as I know, the only way to wrinkle one’s finger pads is to spend a significant amount of time soaking in water. Hot tubs, baths, ocean water, and pool water all seems to work. In any event, a retired person should be able to find time each day to swim or soak or simply laze away in some body of water long enough to coax one’s finger pads into a deep wrinkly state.

After several years of work and refinement we feel like we can now share a successful finger pad wrinkling technique that we like to call, “Rotisserie Tanning.”

Ingredients:

Year round Ecuadorian sunshine

One pool with at least three water jets allowing for a gentle circular flow of water

The swirling motion of the water jets will cause the floatation device to rotate in gentle 360 degree turns allowing for full sun coverage and the hands dangling in the water will allow for deep wrinkling on all ten finger pads.

Again after several years of testing I feel confident that the system works, But, if you do not believe me, here is photographic evidence taken last July of me sitting between my two sons in Florida.

(The two pale individuals on the sides are both in the medical field working as dermatologists, but we will not hold that against them.)

This post was carefully typed by deeply wrinkled fingers from here where…

Oh man…Such a post consisting of how to properly soggify one’s finger pads, could only come from an individual with enviable amounts of free time as well. Ah the retired life.What rigors you must endure! I think I might be able to get used to that some day.

I think your theory may have something going for it tho. Let me explain. Coming from the BBQ sciences, we’ve come to appreciate the value of brine. Of marinating our meat. It just makes it better. And the longer, more often the better. I think you see where I’m going with this. So why not marinate the human body likewise. I know I always feel better after a bath. Perhaps you have stumbled onto something that is good for us, oh sun-drenched retiree of tropical latitudes. . Or at the very least I suppose, you’ve discovered how to take it easy. Oh yes, I suspect the latter indeed.

Very good! It takes a master barbecue veteren to see the correlation between rotisserie tanning and meat preparation. Now that you’ve reminded me about brining good meat, perhaps I will have to mix in more time in the salty Pacific ocean waters. Yes, I believe I will!