"The Most Offensive Song Ever" is track #13 on the album Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics. It was written by Shaiman, Marc / Parker, Trey.

"The Most Offensive Song Ever" is track #13 on the album Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics. It was written by Shaiman, Marc / Parker, Trey.

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Howdy Ho!
The Virgin Mary was sleeping
When Angel Gabriel appeared.
He said, "you are to be the virgin mother,"
And Mary thought that was weird.
[Mary said, "I'm not a virgin
I blew a guy last year"]
But then, Gabriel said to Mary,
"My child, have no fear:

["'Cause you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[You can suck all the dick you want,]
And still not be considered flawed.
[Though, Mary, you went to town,
and sucked some semen down,]
You're still still a virgin
In the eyes of god!"

There was no room at the Inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive.
They were so very tired, you see,
[and Mary had to offer him a bribe.]
Said she had no money,
[and they had no place to sleep.]
Gabriel appeared to Mary,
And told her not to weep.

["'Cause you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[you can suck all the dick you want]
And still be the mother of Christ.
If there's no room at the Inn,
then it's not considered a sin
[to suck a dick to get a room for free!"]

That's right..

And three wisemen did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such.
They said that they had followed a star,
And missed a woman's touch.
[Mary thought that she might pleasure them,
But could not take them to bed.]
But, again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said...

["You can suck all the dick you want,]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[You can suck all the dick you want,]
Everyone in the nation.
[Fellatio ain't no sin,
So go and blow those three wise men!]
And you'll still be a virgin,
['Cause there ain't no penetration!"]

[You can suck all the dick you want,]
And still be a Virgin, Mary!
[The donkey, or the ox and the lamb]
And even the little drummer boy.
Folks will remember your name quick!
[They'll say, "Damn, that bitch can suck a dick"!]
['Cause sucking dick]
Brings peace on earth and joy.
['Cause sucking dick]
Brings peace on earth and joy.