Get Rid of Moles

People of the world, we earthworms implore you to get rid of moles. It’s well documented that we earthworms are your friends. We do not carry diseases or parasites, as other creatures who roam your backyard do. We do not bite. We do not scratch. We don’t even bother your precious pets. We don’t like to get into your house and eat your food. We don’t damage your buildings and we don’t harm your children (except when they’re not too bright and swallow us whole).

No, on the contrary, we are excellent garden companions. You may have invented the plow, but we were there first, plowing underground. We mix up the soil, making sure the nutrients are well saturated throughout the soil, feeding all your plants. We tunnel, making sure water and just the right amount of air reaches the plant roots. Our castings even enrich your soil further.

So, why won’t you get rid of moles? They are not a gardener’s friend. They may not eat as much of your plants or roots as other animals, like voles or gophers. But, trust me, the air pocket they leave behind in their tunnels is like a death sentence to the plant whose roots are affected. Plus, voles, mice and other animals use the mole tunnels, too, and they do eat your plants. Of course, you see the moles as an annoying creature, that makes mounds of dirt all over your property and destroys your vegetation. We see moles in a whole different light.

Moles eat earthworms. We try to get away. We can feel the vibrations through the earth when a mole is digging nearby, searching, searching, searching for a mouthful of one of us. And, we earthworms live under your grass, your flowers and your garden, which means that’s where the moles are tunneling. Once they get one of us, we can only hope they devour us right then and there, if only so we can avoid the horror that awaits the rest of us. Because, you see, moles are a lot like chipmunks. They like to store their food. Unlike chipmunks, a moles’ food is alive when it’s stored. The mole bites us earthworms in just the right spot, so we have no more control over our motor functions, and then it drags us away and stores us in its burrow to be devoured helplessly at a later time.

If you get rid of moles, you help the earthworm population. Moles eat us, your friends, your pals, your best gardening tool. They decimate us and your plants at the same time. Waste no time. Get rid of moles now so we can return to our pleasant relationship. You give us damp soil to tunnel through, and we will nourish your plants. Moles have no part in that cycle.