The purpose of this blog is to provide a holding, attuned, and provocative space for the mysteries of your heart to unfold. All of you is welcome here, in all of your glory - the painful, the joyous, the heartbroken, and the weary. The invitation is to see your entire life as an expression of high-voltage, creative guidance, and for you to offer yourself to the endless and infinite dimension of love that is emerging within and around you right now.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Allowing love to re-author the story

When you are triggered and the feelings are just too
much, it is very likely that your core narrative – what you believe about
yourself, about others, and the world – is close and nearby. It is circling
around you, not to harm or work against you, but as a harbinger of integration.
It is longing to be re-authored, but needs to hear from you first that you no
longer need its protection. In ways that seem counter-intuitive, it is trying
to help you, and keep you out of dysregulation, disintegration, and flooding.

In a moment of intensity and disturbance, become curious
about the story you are telling, about the perceptual lens through which you
are seeing yourself. This narrative arose as a little one, long ago, in the
attempt to make sense of an environment that was lacking in empathic, attuned,
right-brain to right-brain connection.

Step back just a bit and let the narrative know you are
calling off the war. Ask it to reveal itself – how it is trying to protect you,
why it has come, and what it needs from you. Hold it near and honor it for all
it has done for you, but with kindness let it know that it is time for an
update.

And that it will be love that is downloading the upgrade.

And then, with capacities you did not have as the
narrative was formed, you can begin the journey of encoding new circuitry, of
laying down a new pathway. With your presence, your compassion, your empathy,
and with all the wisdom you have gathered, you can update the narrative and
weave a new story, one that is more current, integrated, accurate, and whole.

This new story will arise out of the slow, spacious, wise
domain of the pre-frontal cortex, replacing the urgent, claustrophobic
reactivity of a raging amygdala, which was only trying to protect you after
all.

Ask a guide to bear witness with you, as this
reorganization is an immense undertaking of courage. Find a therapist, a lover,
a friend, a teacher, a tree, a bird, a dog, a mountain, the sky, the sun, or
the moon. Allow them to hold you as you open. And ask all of the seen and unseen
ones to help you explore whether you still need to be protected from the allies
of the emotional and sensory world.

Followers

Follow by Email

About Me

I am a psychotherapist, author, and teacher, working with individuals and groups worldwide. My latest book, The Path is Everywhere, will be available in June 2017. To learn more about me and my work, please visit my website.

I have a PhD in psychology, where my research interests included
contemporary psychodynamic/ relational theory as well as mindfulness-based, contemplative approaches to psychological healing and spiritual transformation. I have long been interested in the dialogue
between Western, developmental and meditative methods of
inquiry and practice.

I worked in the publishing field for over 24 years, most recently Director of Professional Studies for Sounds True, where I organized online training for mental health professionals seeking to deepen their practice in areas such as attachment, trauma, neuroscience, and mindfulness.