In Cariacica, Brazil, twenty-one-year-old Alini Oliveira beat out twenty-year-old Adayane Matias for final place in a "glamour competition." The prize was a starring role in the music video of a popular local band (the prize makes it even sadder). Apparently stewing with jealousy, Matias and her dance partner, Juliermeson Baston, decided to murder Oliveira. With her out of the way, Matias and Baston were sure their own careers would take off. They recruited Matias' boyfriend, Deivid Correa, to do the actual shooting.

The trio are alleged to have planned three attempts at killing the model, including opening fire on a bus she would have been travelling in to the video shoot, but Correa complained innocent people would also have died.

Before shooting her twice in the back from a motorbike in the hotel garden, Correa is believed to have tried to find Oliveira at her house and at the gym where she worked out.

I guess third time's a charm when it comes to murder? Even Tanya Harding had her shit more together than these three idiots, and she's Tonya Harding. Apparently after Correa did the deed, he texted Matias saying, "now you can have some ham with your breakfast." The Daily Mail says "ham" is Brazilian slang for dead body. So Correa is not just a cold-blooded killer, he makes heartless use of terrible puns.

Matias and Baston confessed to planning the attack and all three are now being charged with first degree murder. I'm sure we all agree they should be but I'm still left with a feeling of "WTF?" I'm sure the execs at Lifetime are watching this all go down, picking up the phone to call Vanessa Hudgens to check on her availability. (I'm pretty sure it's wide open.)