Please Leave Your Pro Mirror, Mirror Comments In The Comments

Oh man, remember the Mirror Mirror trailer that came out last week that was the worst trailer you had ever seen until you saw that Kellan Lutz lacrosse trailer yesterday? Well, apparently someone has been leaving fake “enthusiastic” comments about the trailer all across the Internet, but everyone knows they’re fake because it’s absolutely impossible for even one single person, even someone who comments on blogs, to be excited about that movie. From Deadline:

We know Hollywood studios fake film reviews and movie ads. Now a sharp-eyed blog recently noticed some “strangely optimistic comments” from the same IP address within a 2-hour span after posting Relativity’s Mirror Mirror trailer. Turns out MovieMavericks.com found the exact same comments placed on many other blogs that posted the Mirror Mirror trailer. “The big question is who’s behind this ‘astroturfing’? Is it someone in Julia Robert’s camp? Tarsem Singh’s, Armie Hammer’s or Lily Collins’ people? Has Relativity Media hired some grey area marketing agency? Or is it simply a devoted fan?” the website asked. Oh puh-leeze: studios regularly hire trolls to post comments on the Internet.

Wait, is that true? Do studios regularly hire trolls to post comments on the Internet? How do you get that job? Hahaha not for me! No way. But, just, like, how do you get that job? For someone else? Who is definitely not me? Because I totally don’t want to get paid to just leave comments on the Internet about Mr. Blindsides, or whatever. Ew. What? Yuck. But how? Anyway, this is a fun game. Let’s leave our own pro-Mirror Mirror comments on the Internet, but more specifically, on this Internet. First, let’s rewatch the trailer:

You know how a lot of people will talk about hitting a rough patch in their lives where nothing seems to be going their way, but then they find that one movie, album, TV show, podcast, Etsy seller, or whatever that they can hold onto through the darkness and then later they will tell you that this movie, album, TV show, podcast, Etsy seller, or whatever saved their life because it helped them get through a really dark time? Well, I haven’t seen Mirror Mirror yet, but I have been in a really dark place, so I am so excited for this movie to come out and for me to get to hold onto it as the faintest glimmer of hope in a hopeless world. And I can’t wait to one day meet Tarsem Singh and tell him that he saved my life. With his movie Mirror Mirror. That I saw when I was sad.

Dis is a meta4 for America. Julio Roberts is 0BAma Care and Nathan Lane is America. Because she turns him into dust. 1,152 people like socialist muppet movie because 1,152 people said dislike on the trialer. LOL! But I’m going to take my grandkids to see this because tiny people are funny and i’m drunk right now.

Sometimes you see a movie, and it is good and everything but then you leave the theater and get back to your life and forget about it, and you might watch it again if it airs on TNT, but while you do not regret the time you spent watching it, you can’t say it changed you in any meaningful way. But sometimes, just sometimes, and only if you are very lucky, you see a movie that changes not just you, but also the world. This is that movie. I know, because I stopped in from the future to tell you that this movie is the single greatest thing that will happen to any of you. If you are not married and get married in the future, your vows will say that your wedding day is the happiest day except for the day you saw Mirror Mirror, and everyone will applaud because that is clearly true. This movie will bring peace to everyone. Even aliens that might otherwise take advantage of Earth’s newfound devotion to nonviolence will fall under its spell. This movie is without exaggeration the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of the universe.

I have always loved the tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves but often found myself wishing it had a few more Scarface references… Well thankfully Mirror, Mirror (Snort, Snort) delivers! Smell ya there!

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