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Opinion: On the Campaign Couch ... with JB

Q: I'm quite close to the account director who looks after my brand at my agency. He's just asked me to be godfather to his first child. Would this be inappropriate?

A: Yes. Inappropriate is a wonderfully imprecise word. It excuses you
from providing a reason for your decisions. You can decline to donate to
charities, interview colleagues' sisters' teenage children, buy another
ISA or be part of a discussion panel on juvenile obesity - all on the
grounds that it would be inappropriate. It's seldom challenged. In your
case, however, you need to be clear exactly why becoming your account
director's first child's godfather would be inappropriate.

You say he looks after your brand. Well, it's probably not your brand,
but your company's. And you're paid to make that brand flourish. There
is almost certain to come a time when you believe the brand needs a
change of agency or at the very least a change of account director. Or
worse - you don't, but your board does. At once, a difficult decision
becomes doubly so. Defend the agency and you'll be thought to be putting
a personal relationship before the interests of your company. Fire them,
and your godson's father will look at you with bewildered, wounded
eyes.

But mainly it's inappropriate because it's not fair on the child. It
deserves a godparent whose relationship with its father isn't
complicated by other interests and who's likely to be around for the
long haul. And that's what you should say, nicely of course, to your
account director.

It is, I'm afraid to say, either insensitive or devious of your account
director to have suggested it in the first place.

Q: Dear Jeremy, my creative director is adamant that we should enter an
ad for a big awards scheme that is not the version that the client
approved and ran. He said no-one would notice and that this was the only
way we'd stand a chance of winning. My chief executive has set the
agency a target of improving its position on the Gunn Report and
promised bonuses if we do so. Should we scam?

A: How do you feel about drugs and sport? Do you think it's fine as long
as you don't get rumbled? Or do you, while hoping not to sound too
Blimpish about it, believe that the taking of performance-enhancing
drugs: a) destroys the whole, glorious point of competitive sports; b)
means that a great many honest, gifted and dedicated people will be
denied the legitimate glory they'd otherwise achieve; c) breeds
cynicism, not least in the young; and d) creates an
"if-that's-the-only-way-and-everybody-else-is-up-to-it-then-why-the-
hell-not" culture that spreads to other activities?

Your creative director has said that no-one would notice and that this
was the only way you'd stand a chance of winning: almost word for word,
expletives deleted, the advice of any bent coach.

Setting targets is always dangerous, whether for waiting times in A&E or
M&A deals. It distorts behaviour, not always for the common good. But
all your chief executive has to do is make it clear that, if any of the
work that earns Gunn Report points is other than client-approved, the
bonus deal is off: even if there was quite enough straight stuff to have
otherwise earned it. If your chief executive is disinclined to add this
rider, consider your career options.

Q: Dear Jeremy, I'm a young creative breaking into advertising. Can you
reassure me that creativity is still the lifeblood of the industry and
that the balance of power has not shifted to, say, account management or
media?

A: Yes and no. Yes: I can reassure you that creativity is still the
lifeblood of the ad business (as long as you understand the full meaning
of creativity). And no: I can't reassure you that the balance of power
still lies with creativity. But then it never has and nor should it.

When agencies work best, creativity is not confined to a department. The
best agencies are creative throughout. Everyone is inventive. Clients
want teams: who between them plan rigorously and intuitively, administer
imaginatively, give birth to persuasive expressions in all or any media
- and thereby make those clients more famous, more trusted, more chosen
and more rich. All this tends to get forgotten because much of the
creativity of a good agency remains utterly invisible to the outside
world. Only the ads themselves appear above the surface so only the ads
themselves attract attention.

The last thing clients want is power struggles between turf-obsessed
account managers, nerdy planners, metric-mad media persons and creative
drama queens. Learn to appreciate the difference between advertising and
ads and you'll have a much longer and happier working life.