The Apology: Nonsense (Part 1)

There are some things that I never understood about life and they are mainly why somethings that happen are completely ridiculous. It’s not to say that I never did ridiculous things, sure I did like that time I slashed a person’s car tyre just because the driver was being rude towards some old people. I’m completely aware that it wasn’t the owner’s fault and however I try to justify my actions, I couldn’t do it. “Life is just like that,” I was told once and even though the person who that me those sentences could be an idiot at times, I couldn’t agree with him more.

The car owner did nothing wrong but he still suffered. It’s the same thing that’s happening to most of the people in the world. They are innocent and yet their suffer. They bow on their knees every day, praying to their omnibenevolent god but it seems that the suffering continues while those who are evil just have to wait for good to come. I would never understand why that’s the case but I do admire people’s courage and patient, most importantly their faith. Sure somethings works in mysterious ways but surely such deity doesn’t deserve worshipping? I guess I would never know.

Sometimes, now and then, the voices in my head would have a peaceful conversation with me that is when they don’t order me to go around killing people. And during our short but deep conversations, I ask them these questions about God and their answer is simple, “If there’s no God, who’s making sure all the evil people in the world is rolling in money and happiness?” and ironically, that convinced me that surely there’s God that’s no way near being omnibenevolent. It wasn’t a year later that I realised that I’m evil too but nothing good has ever happened to me. “You aren’t evil,” the voices in my head told me.

“You are innocent. The world made you this way. God made you this way,” they explained and I excepted it as a somewhat reasonable explanation. “God made you this way,” I thought to myself. That’s a sentence that people always use whenever they are questioned about something and while I find it a rather good answer to give to theists, it’s rather ridiculous. I talked about it to the voices in my head too saying, “Even if God didn’t make them that way, why should there be laws that prevent people to be who they really want?” and they replied, “Because religious people are easier to manipulate. It’s easier to feed them with fear, and when they are fearful, they would even vote for the devil disguised as God.

“Surely people aren’t that stupid,” some, I included would say but when it is really thought into, people are stupid, I included. We find small harmless things as threatening to the society, as something that would lead everyone to hell but we are blind when something huge like murder happens right in front of our eyes. It’s completely ridiculous, it’s not even funny.