The Novel is Dead, Long Live the Chipotle Cup

Here, may we present a brief history of the evolution of literature: the epic poem, the prose poem, the novel, the Chipotle cup. Yes, international burrito/conscience purveyor Chipotle Mexican Grill has teamed up with author Jonathan Safran Foer in a new project that will see cups and bags from the restaurant adorned with original text by a number of famous writers. According to Foer, his inspiration came while eating at Chipotle one day with nothing to read and nothing to distract him from the tedium of burrito consumption. So he thought to himself, why not start putting stories on cups? Chipotle C.E.O. Steve Ells liked the idea and, starting this week, Chipotle's paper receptacles will get a dose of literary mojo courtesy of small stories and essays by Foer, Malcolm Gladwell, Toni Morrison, GQ contributor George Saunders, and Michael Lewis. To mark this momentous occasion, we decided to meditate on the Chipotle cup's place in the literary canon. Here now are some pros and cons to living life in the Year of the Responsibly Raised Chipotle Carnitas Burrito Bowl:

Pros
A story short enough to fit on the side of a cup is perfect for our (allegedly) shrinking attention spans. In a 140-character world, cup prose will be like curling up by a fire with a Tolstoy novel. Think of Chipotle as your new rainy Sunday sanctuary.

It's almost certain that Dave Eggers will eventually commission highly ornate silver chalices featuring avant garde stories of whimsy by less commercial writers, which will be distributed exclusively through independently owned non-profit fair trade burrito vendors.

Much like cafés in Paris during the 1920's, Chipotle will become a hotbed of literary conversation. And you can forget the Algonquin Roundtable. From now, great literary minds will polish their witticisms at the famed Chipotle Long Bench Facing the Window.

Libraries don't have burritos.

Cons
Chipotle cups look significantly less impressive when stacked on the shelves of your home library.

Also less impressive is the title: Nobel Prize for Cup Literature winner.

Story serialization will create legions of annoying guys at the office who obstinately suggest Chipotle every single damn day for lunch.

There isn't much room on a cup for the blurbs of other famous authors to let you know that what you're reading is any good.