This news is slowly making its way to the U.S. via Portugese news agencies.

It seems like a Romanian TV starlet, who goes by the name Simona Sensual, was pulled over by police last week and went straight into the Busted Coverage Cuff ‘Em Hall of Fame. Why? Using breast implants as an excuse for breaking a law.

The arrest story, translated, goes something like this:

A Romanian TV star, who was caught driving without a seatbelt, told police that she hastily headed for the clinic because her new breasts ached. Bleek evenwel dat het rijbewijs van de 28-jarige wulpse Simona Suhoi een maand geleden werd ingetrokken na een verkeersongeval. Showed that the license of the 28-year-old Simona lascivious Suhoi one month ago was revoked after a traffic accident. Schone Simona riskeert nu een celstraf van vijf jaar. Simona Fine now risking a prison sentence of five years.

The former singer and designer admits she was not allowed to crawl behind the wheel, but says she had no choice. “Ik had verschrikkelijke pijn aan mijn borsten. Ik denk dat het aan die nieuwe implantaten ligt”, zei ze ter verdediging. “I had terrible pain in my breasts. I think those implants is new,” she said in defense.

“I was determined to take a taxi to the clinic, but it seemed as if all were occupied. But then I jumped in my car. What was I supposed to do?”, It still sounded.

Yeah, we were lost through some of that, too.

But the big story here is that Ms. Sensual used painful implants as an excuse. That’s brilliant thinking on the part of a moron who’s famous for having big boobs and dominating Romanian TV over the years for other scandals, according to her Wikipedia page. Yes, she’s famous enough to have a Wikipedia page.

Of course this story would be useless without a gallery to show you how big those boobs are and how a seatbelt might cause pain and suffering.