Quod Erat Demonstrandum

How to Operate with a Humanoid: Part 4

I have several aliases. One such alias that I use for myself is Oneironaut. The explorer of dreams. I happen to use it as a nickname in many accounts. Now, this Oneironaut has a humanoid turned kawaii samurai boyfriend called Drake. Drake isn’t your average guy. He has distinct traits that make him so much fun to be around.

Drake the humanoid comes with special operating features.

Speed reading.
Humanoid Drake is designed to read texts at an astonishingly high rates. The bot scans the object of interest, picks out relevant information. Encodes it in his mind with high efficiency.

Cute eyes.
Drake has quintessential big eyes, which scientifically induce the ‘cute’ factor. Yes, that’s one of the reasons we find babies cute as well. Because of this, he is capable of getting away with all kinds of crimes, big and small.

Super strength.
Because of his compactness and cuteness, an opponent would assume fragility in strength. He also mainly overestimates that the opponent underestimates his power, so he packs a big punch. He also takes cue from One Punch Man.

Selective taste.
His advanced taste-buds can predominantly savor spicy and fatty foods. Coincidently, these tastes promote production of serotonin in the human body. Humanoid’s tastes are programmed such that he only consumes foods that promote maximum happiness. He is also knowledgeable in the culinary arts.

Efficient battery utilization.
Drake swears by the law of conservation of energy. Not the actual physics law, but the fact that he does not expend energy unless absolutely required. If you want to take Drake out for a walk, you must pass a very clear, non-conflicting command. Bribe him with buttermilk.

Drake receives regular system updates, with new enhanced features that can be installed as per requirement. Oneironauts like me are specially equipped to roll out these updates. All further updates will be posted on this forum.

The only way to get love is to be lovable. It's very irritating if you have a lot of money. You'd like to think you could write a check: 'I'll buy a million dollars' worth of love.' But it doesn't work that way. The more you give love away, the more you get. - Warren Buffet