I can’t hear the question. I don’t want
hear the answer. It’s more than any man should have to bear.

Me—this man—I can’t bear it.

Neil rushes me out, and is toggling between
escorting me and his phone.

“It’s Leon. He’s keeping me updated.”

I stop. It’s happening again.

“No. Go back in. I don’t need help. I have
this.”

“Move your ass, Ezra. This isn’t Gray or
Mara shit. This is your girl getting proposed to by your best friend. This is
some seriously messed up shit. Bros before…rat bastards. You know the drill.”

He shoved me into his Jeep and we ended up
at his apartment that he shared with Leon.

“I have to go home.”

“And what if Roman shows up? What if they
show up together?”

That is it. My stomach had enough. After
he opens the door, I plow my way to the bathroom and trip over boxers and
shorts. Neil and Leon are pigs. I hear a belt buckle jangle as I get tangled
in it before slamming my head as far into the bowl as I could get.

I don’t stop until my face was covered in
broken blood vessels and all the hydration had left my body.

My face is on fire. Words and pictures
flutter through my conscience without warning.

Exhausted and ready to give up on trying to
ignore them, I sit next to the bathtub, more like slouch, and press my face
against the cool tub.

“Hey, here’s some water and ice. Your face
looks like hell.”

I take the water and the ice and chuck them
onto the floor. Ice and water wont’ do me any good now. It’s all over. I might
as well succumb to death by vomiting.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

“I need a minute, file out please,” I commanded,
sitting back in my tattered leather desk chair, scratching my almost full
beard. Rubbing my belly, I tried to scour away the itch of frustration, to no
avail.

Frustration was my leech and its teeth penetrated
deep.

I really should
take better care of myself.

But my appearance reflected my attitude of late,
ragged, teetering on the edge of mania. I’d gone too long without a haircut,
opting instead for buzzing the sides myself and letting the top grow longer
than I’d ever let it before.

“Yes, Alpha,” they all replied, swiftly moving from
the cedar paneled office—except River. As more than my beta, my best friend, he
always thought himself exempt from most orders, and he was. I frequently needed
an ear that felt like it was on my side, and not just because the rules told
him he had to be.

My father had
been Alpha before me, and his father Alpha before that. Every day I uncovered
another piece of the effed up puzzle—the real story of the turmoil my clan was
in—the legacy they’d left me. And it seemed while they were excellent Alphas in
terms of protecting the lands and growing the clan—they weren’t proficient at
financing or piddling things like paying property taxes. They allowed their
females no say over anything, which went against everything we were taught as
young males. They failed to practice what they preached. Their mates had to grin
and bear it. A female probably would’ve pointed out the details that my father
and his father ignored. And now, one year after my father died of cancer and my
mother followed soon after, I stood in a falling apart house, up to my eyeballs
in debt with every male and some female clan members working two and three jobs
to help out. My clan was crumbling through my claws.

Something has to
give.

River was the same age as me, though our appearances
aged us considerably. He growled out a sigh and plopped down in one of the huge
chairs, built specifically for us, thick and sturdy. He beat his hands on the
top of his head to some rhythm. He was deciding how to tell me something.

“Hawke, we can barely handle what we’ve got. Let’s
face it, we are up to our muzzles here. Clan members are paying for bills
usually taken care of by clan funds. We are working ourselves to the bone. We
do what we can, but it’s just not enough. And now the LaFourche Clan Alpha
wants to merge? I don’t know, boss.”

I hate when he
calls me boss.

“I can’t help it. I have no money left after paying
over two hundred thousand dollars in property taxes, insurance, flood insurance
and everything else we were up to our asses on. The effing government was about
to auction off our land. I have little to nothing left.”

I stood and took the two steps to the window to face
the swamp. I could almost hear the fluttering of the catfish’s fins in the
murky bayou, the teeth of the nutra rat chattering, and the bowing branches of
the Cypress tree in the beginning winds of a Louisiana thunderstorm. The swamp
called to me, begging me to allow it to soothe the beast and the stress. I
wished it could. But I didn’t even have time to run anymore—I hadn’t shifted in
weeks. The neglect of my inner animal made my skin crawl and itch.

Let me out,
he pleaded.

He didn’t answer my rhetorical plea for him to further
his rebuttal, so I continued my side of the debate, “What else can I do? Have
you seen the other clan members? They’re as mature as a newborn cub. If I don’t
take over as their Alpha, they’ll scatter to the winds. And with the other clans
vying for our land already—they would take over the LaFourche land and be a
heartbeat away from our boundaries. I won’t have it.”

He grabbed the arms of the chair and leaned forward,
and I could see his reflection in the window.

“Then something has to give. Things are getting out of
hand. We respect you, Alpha and will obey anything you ask of us. But the Betas
and clan are restless, the males and the females. You know our ways dictate
that our inner animal obey an Alpha pair, not just a male. We need the strength
of a pair. If you intend to do this, we should be stronger, at least.”

Didn’t I know it? If they were restless for a pair to
oversee them—if restless was the word they were using, then I was downright
violent with my need for a mate.

The craving almost consumed me.

My bear needed a mate, and I as an Alpha, needed the
balance of a female—plus, even with my warmer body temperature; my bed, of
late, seemed to grow colder and colder.

But who had time to seek out a mate when the clan was
in a spiral of disorganization and failure?

It wasn’t like there was a dating and mating website
for bear shifters. If there had been, its mascot would have been that yellow
Care Bear with the heart on its stomach. The commercial would have him doing
the Care Bear stare or some shit. I hated Care Bears.

Why am I
thinking about Care Bears?

I knew he could feel my malcontent over bringing up
the issue of a mate, so he relented and moved on.

“There’s another issue, Alpha.”

I turned to my friend with a fake smile, “Oh great,
what more?”

“There’s been a report of a black bear, a rogue, in
South Dakota. She seems to be part of a grizzly clan, but is not mated. They
have seen her working on clan lands and running perimeters on their boundaries
at all times of the night.”

I shrugged, “It’s the female’s choice if she wants to
keep clan with grizzlies.”

“The thing is—she’s thin—worn. The wolf pack Alpha who
reported her says she’s unhealthy. He says he can see her ribs when she shifts
and she’s maybe eighteen or nineteen but none of the kids in his pack have ever
seen her in school. And they all attend school together up there, shifter and
human. He assumes—he assumes she’s being held captive. He sent a formal request
that you visit and see for yourself as the Alpha over all bear Alphas.”

I snorted in his direction, “I’m sure the grizzlies
would be much obliging.”

“They don’t have a choice. We outrank them. Black
bears outrank Grizzlies, you know that. They have no choice but to grant you
entrance.”

Of course I knew that. I was just grasping at straws,
trying to talk my way out of going to South Dakota for any reason.

“How can I leave now, with the clan in turmoil?”

“It will take us three days. It’s not gonna fall apart
in three days. If she is what the wolf says she is, then we have to save her.
We protect our own.”

I slammed my fist down on the table, more in
frustration with the entire situation than towards my Beta. He jumped anyway,
“I know we protect our own. Make the arrangements with the rest of the clan. I
want you and Flint on my flank. Three days, no more.”

He didn’t answer with words, simply bowed his head in
acknowledgement.

I couldn’t believe this. I was in the middle of a turf
struggle, on the verge of taking on a new clan, and trying to calm the
mate-craving animal inside me—and there was a lone female in cold South Dakota
who’d gotten herself kidnapped and enslaved.

Perfect.

Echo

I grabbed the last plate after everyone else had
passed through the line. It was immediately snatched from me by Horace, the
Alpha, and my keeper.

“Did we forget something,” he asked and when he
breathed through his nose, I could see there was a straggler in his cave.

“No, Alpha, I did everything on the list.”

“The list from this morning?”

I could feel
the snare around my leg; ready to tighten.

His breath was always horrendous, and I stifled a gag.

“Yes, Alpha, the list from this morning, on my door,
when I got in from perimeters.”

“And what about the list I left on your bedroom door
this afternoon?”

I froze, “I’m sorry. I got in and had afternoon
security detail. I haven’t even been home since then.”

“Well then, you don’t really deserve dinner, do you?”

“No,
Alpha, I don’t.” I took my plate from him, clanked it back down, and lowered my
gaze.

“Agreed. Why don’t you get changed and begin your
forgotten duties? While you’re at it, take a shower. You stink of the species
you represent.”

“Yes, Alpha.”

I soldiered out of the dining hall, starving to the
point of nausea, but obeying, nonetheless. I didn’t have the pull, the instinct
of obedience to Horace like the rest of the clan did, I assumed because I
wasn’t like them, but I obeyed anyway. What choice did I have?

As far as I knew, I was a freak of nature, a mistake,
a fluke. Plus, that was what I’d always been told. The story went that I had
been found in the woods as a cub, and they’d felt sorry for me. So I worked my
ass off every day trying to lift my burden somehow. It was indentured servitude
at its finest, but there was never an end in sight for me. I’d never earn my
freedom or feel the lift of a repaid debt rise from my chest.

Then, there was that thing where I could heal them. I
was sure that was the real reason they kept me. But the more I stretched myself
thin, the more it took out of me every time I did.

I
scrambled to my room, snatching the note pinned to my door, grabbing a pair of
cut off sweat shorts, and a tank top and running to the bathroom. It was a
usual list—clean the house, inventory the pantry, make the grocery list, do the
laundry. By the time I got done with the chores, it would be time to run
perimeters again and try to get some sleep. I’d probably only gotten three to
four hours of sleep in the past couple of days but somehow I would pull
through. I had a five minute limit on showering, so I poured tons of shower gel
all over me and scrubbed as fast as I could. The hot water revived some of my
weariness and got rid of some of the stink I was said to carry. But to me, they stank. Even the wolves didn’t have the
funk these grizzlies boasted. But then again, maybe it was me. I’d never seen another
black bear, so there was a great probability it was me. Drying off and throwing on clothes, I worked through the
house first, since everyone had flown the coop after scarfing down dinner.

Monday and
Thursday night dinners were held at the Alpha house. I did all the cooking, for
all one hundred and thirty one clan members and I cleaned up afterwards. In no
time, I’d finished tidying up the kitchen, cleaning the house, and sweeping the
porches. The laundry was next and it entailed going to the clan laundromat,
which was a deed in itself. Not because of the laundry—I usually took pleasure in
the solace it gave me. But I feared the goading I received if any other clan
members were in there. It was funny how they chastised me one minute but
expected me to heal them the next. But denying anyone a gift I’d been bestowed
was beyond my comprehension. I just didn’t have the meanness in me.

I gathered the two baskets of clothing from the
hallway closet, stacked them on top of one another, and made my way across the
pathway to the laundromat. There was no one in there that night, thank
goodness, so the peace of the pouring water and the tumbling clothes was mine
for the taking.

As I sat in the stiff metal monstrosities, waiting for
the next load to finish, I thought about the note passed to me from a wolf
shifter at the boundary days ago. It was a letter from their Alpha telling me,
warning me, I didn’t know which. It was of few words, but it spoke volumes and
sent my mind into a frenzy of what ifs.

The Great Black Bear Alpha is coming.

As soon as I
read it, the note was ripped from my hands and shredded. Then the wolf ran
away.

Was I in trouble? Had I done
something wrong—other than the numerous things I’d done wrong on a daily basis?
Was he like the Alpha around here, and the other grizzly Alphas who humiliated
and despised their females? Would I be punished for being in a clan of
grizzlies? It wasn’t my fault. They’d found me and kept me.

I’d tried to escape once.

That’s when they started making me wear the taser
collar around my neck—the same collars the dogs wore. As if my life wasn’t
humiliating enough. When I reached a certain point on the perimeter, marked by
little orange flags tied to branches, or if I went beyond the boundary, I was
shocked and they were notified. At first, I rebelled against it, ran out of the
boundary as many times as my neck could stand it. I had some burn mark scars to
prove it. I could heal most of them, but in some instances I’d passed out for
so long that scarring had commenced. I’d stopped trying years ago, and finally
succumbed to my station in the world and on this land.

Hawke

We’d travelled for just over twenty hours in my
truck—twenty hours. That was a long time to be in a truck with two other male
bear shifters. It was the equivalent of a cage. We’d finally made it to South
Dakota, just outside of Yankton. The grizzly clan lands were just outside of
Lake Andes but I had to announce my presence first, not out of necessity, but
out of respect.

“Get your elbow out of my ribs before I snap your
forearm in half, Flint.”

“We’ll get to the motel in about ten minutes, call the
Grizzly Alpha and then eat.”

Grunts were all I received, all the answer I needed
were grunts.

After parking at the front of a sub-par motel, River
went into the office, made arrangements for two rooms and came back later with
keys. Flint and I were out, stretching our legs. I did not look forward to
stepping on another Alpha’s land, much less another kind of bear’s land. And
grizzlies had a reputation of being temperamental at best. And while I knew
they could never best me, I wasn’t completely comfortable with the whole
situation.

I pulled out my phone, as I entered a grossly
undercleaned motel room, sat on the bed which almost collapsed beneath me, and
pressed H for Horace. His number was one of the few under the H’s, and I pushed
the phone emblem to call.

“Horace here.”

“Horace Milestone, this is Hawke Turnclaw.”

There was some fumbling of the phone and shushing of
people in the room.

“Alpha, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Just a routine inspection. I’ve heard some good
things about your clan. I thought maybe my own could learn some things from
yours. We are in town and will be at your borders at noon. Please make your
guard aware. We wouldn’t want a misunderstanding.”

Damn, I didn’t
know I was so smooth at lying.

“Of course not, Alpha. I will let them know. Um—how
long will your stay be?”

“As long as I deem fit. Until tomorrow, Horace.”

“Tomorrow, Alpha.”

I hung up the phone, heard the sound of two cackling
men and looked up to see my Betas doubled over in humor.

“What’s going on with you two?”

Flint barely contained his laughter as he answered, “River’s
room was otherwise occupied with one man and two women. So he had to get
another room. But you should’ve seen his face, like he’s never seen naked asses
before!”

“Shut up.” River punched Flint in the gut.

“And since when do we do routine inspections? What are
we the military?”

“I had to think of something. What was I supposed to
say, ‘I’ve come up to investigate some female black bear spotted by your
boundary friend Schuylar, the Alpha wolf next door? Please. Now, let’s go eat
and get some sleep. They’re not going to make this easy on us.”

We walked down the street to a buffet, which promised steak
and all the fixings. River moaned about the lack of sweet tea but I didn’t
care, as long as something was quenching my thirst.

We all filled two plates each, with a sampling of what
the buffet had to offer—one plate just for the enormous steaks. Almost finished
with round one, I sat back to relax before going back. I saw Flint drop his
fork and fish through his pockets, come out with a cell phone and dial a
number.

“What happened,” he growled into the phone.

Whatever answer he received placated him enough to
relax against his chair, “Please be more careful. You scared me to death. I was
ready to tear this place down getting to you.”

More conversation from the other end, “Ok, I love you
too B.”

Flint’s mate was Beatrice, he called her B, and so did
everyone else. He was the only one of my Betas who had a mate.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, she tripped on the last stair of the house and
my heart fluttered,” he recalled, rubbing his chest.

“She should be more careful carrying a cub.”

“Cubs; and I
know,” Flint sighed, “She’s just so damned anal about cleaning the house.
That’s what she was doing, going downstairs to wipe the already clean counters
again.”

We all laughed, and I tried in vain not to be
frustrated with my circumstances. I had no idea what he meant. I had no clue of
the sensation, being so in tune with my mate. And there was the heartbeat. The Creator made us know
exactly when we met our mate. It was a secret kept amongst those who’d
experienced it, but it was said that there was no denying it.

I wished I knew.

I’d never try to deny it.

We almost ate the place out of business and then
retired to our respective rooms to get sleep in case there was any turf fight
the next day. There shouldn’t be, but I wasn’t very well scripted in visiting
other clans’ land.

Showering in the tiny stall, I tried to wash away some
of the tension that came especially at night. It twisted my muscles, stretched
my ligaments, and furrowed my brow without my permission. It was the tension of
an unmated Alpha. I wiped the fogged mirror with my towel and decided I’d
better clean myself up. I looked more like caveman than Alpha. Using a pair of
scissors I found in the desk, I cut my beard down significantly

What in the hell was I going to do?

Echo

The entire clan had been ordered to stay up all night,
cleaning and straightening and putting on a show. I didn’t know what they were
prepping for, but a twinging in my chest told me it was something to pay
attention to. I worked alongside them, forgoing my perimeter sweeps for a
different kind of sweeping, dusting, mopping and cooking. Whatever they were
prepping for was huge. I’d made ten casseroles, two pans of lasagna, fourteen
cakes, all flavors and sizes, and I still had to make bread and various salads.
I was also told that under no circumstances was I to make an appearance in
front of the visitor. I was sure to embarrass them.

They were set to arrive by noon, so I had to be long
gone by eleven thirty. That’s what Horace had told me. He’d suggested I run in
the forest or go for a swim in the river but I knew exactly what I was going to
do. I would go to the furthest boundary north and take the nap of a lifetime. I
twisted my butt length black hair into a knot after covering all the food with
aluminum foil and lining it up in the ovens. I also had snuck a spoonful of
each dish into a Tupperware container under the cabinets to be stuffed in a bag
that would go with me for naptime. If I didn’t sneak food around here, I’d
starve.

I set up the eight foot long granite countertop with
plates, napkins and silverware and looked over my work, making sure everything
was covered. Glancing at the clock, I grabbed my stolen food, stuffed it and a
plastic fork into my bag and waited by the front door for the clock to strike
eleven thirty. Horace came out of the hallway, dressed in a well starched,
white button down shirt and some hideous dark green, polyester pants.

“Is everything ready?”

“Yes, Alpha.”

“Good, any mistakes will be paid for later.”

“Yes, Alpha.”

I wanted one of those little machines, toys really,
that would record a saying and then at the press of a button, repeat it. I’d
seen one of the cubs playing with one, ‘Yes, Alpha. Yes, Alpha. Yes, Alpha.”

“Make yourself scarce then.”

I skipped the niceties and bolted. Entering the woods,
I shed the backpack and the clothes, bundling them up and stuffing them into
the worn bag. A smile broke out over my face as I felt the first of the change,
my shift bringing me down on all fours, rounded black ears taking over my human
ones, short claws replacing my fingernails, a warm blanket of fur sprouting
from my pores.

My vision phased and my hearing peaked. My bear saw
things so differently than I did. I was reactive while she was proactive. She
saw the most minor of movements and color.

Grabbing the bag in my mouth, I sprinted for the
boundary on one side of a trickling stream. The perfect watering hole and
sleepy lullaby mixed in one shot. I shifted back into my human form and put my
clothes back on, which didn’t do much in the freezing weather. I played for a while
in my temporary freedom, splashing and tiptoeing through the cold spring water
until my stomach growling and muscles churning reminded me of my real mission.

I sat on the edge of the water and partook of my meal.
It lasted less than ten minutes as hungry as I was and after quenching my
thirst with the clean spring water, I laid back, my bag as my pillow, under the
warm sun and gentle wind and took the best nap of my life.

Hawke

About a mile before the entrance to the Grizzly clan
lands, I slowed down the truck to a crawl. It was cramped again in the truck,
and River and Flint groaned when I lessened to a turtle pace. It wasn’t very
nice to pull into another Alpha’s lands at full throttle, petal to the metal.

“You’re killin’ me, Alpha. We won’t be there until
tomorrow. And I’m about to kill the other Beta in this cab.”

“We have to be respectful. We don’t want him to get
defensive. We are coming in here to potentially steal one of his clan members.
Have some tact.”

“I have no tact,” Flint moaned.

“That’s what B says,” River joshed him.

“At least I have a mate. You can’t even find one. No
one wants to put up with your shit.”

I recoiled mentally, that one stung, and it wasn’t
even targeted at me.

“Sorry, Alpha.”

“It’s fine. That’s my problem. Can’t find a female who
wants to step into the tornado with me.”

“Not to add to the stress, but B says there are some clan
members not making their kids go to school every day. Principal Landry told B
yesterday that you’d be getting a letter about the seriousness of truancy and
the possibility of fines for parents of truant children.”

I punched the steering wheel in anger, “I don’t get
it. Does everything have to be an exact, specific, order from my mouth in order
for them to do something? Do I need to visit every parent and command them to
make their cubs go to school before they’ll be obedient? I swear, if I don’t
spoon feed them, some things they just don’t get. They need an Alpha female.
But I’ll be damned if I can find one. I shouldn’t have to micro-manage everyone.”

“Chloe is certainly willing,” River snickered beside
me.

I rolled my eyes at his jeering, “She practically
humps me if no one’s around. It’s ridiculous. Maybe I can command her to get
over herself. She knows how it goes. We are not mates and I’m not interested in
anything with a female who isn’t my mate.”

“Well, I heard she’s been sniffing around the
LaFourche Clan, so maybe you’re okay.”

They laughed at the humping comment for a while until
we approached the gates—iron gates, at least seven feet tall with a grizzly
bear design in the rods.

“Straighten up, Betas.”

I stuck my head out of the window and greeted one of
the guards at the gate. He was stoic and suspicious, but after I stated my
name, he let me in immediately with a much friendlier attitude and bared his
neck with his hand pressed against his face as we passed. At least, they had a
few manners.

My Betas tensed as we entered their land, as did I. My
bear recognized the vulnerability of the three of us among so many of another
species of shifter, so far away from home. He trembled with trepidation and
general pissiness.

A log cabin, an enormous log cabin, came into view. I threw
the truck into park away from the rest of the cars in the driveway in case a
swift getaway was necessary.

“Take a good look around, boys. We know what we’re
looking for.”

“Hawke, I can smell another bear. It’s not grizzly,
but it smells off, not like us, but there is something familiar about it. It’s
faint though, goes towards the trees.”

“Let’s play it cool. No more talking about it. There
are ears everywhere.”

An older man, came out of the front door of the cabin,
arms crossed, looking very stern and solid in his stance. Not to mention, very disco
militant in his dress. The colors screamed Army with camo green pants, but they
were polyester looking and had the old wrap around side button.

“This isn’t gonna be easy.” I grumbled to myself.

But perception was everything in clans and amongst
shifters. I got out of the truck, walked through the yard and up the stairs of
the cabin like I owned the place and everything in it, including him. His clan
bared their necks and hesitantly, he did, as well.

“Horace, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I hope you and
your clan are well.”

I allowed my Betas to go one before me and one after
me, showing I was both dominate and humble. As soon as I entered, I smelled
her. The scent of pure longing and raw desire bolted through my veins awakening
the bear, whispering in my ear that a potential mate was near—potential because
I hadn’t seen her yet. I had to see her, make the eye connection to know for
sure. He stirred inside me, roaring at me to shift and find her—nothing else
mattered—find her now.

She smelled like black bear, but something else, as
well, as if another scent was stirred in with hers. I’d never experienced
anything like it.

“Alpha, will you bless the food so we may begin?”

A small voiced woman chimed in from next to Horace.
She seemed uncomfortable with speaking in front of the group. That struck me as
odd since Alpha females should be very comfortable speaking in front of the clan.
They are regarded as an equal half of the Alpha pair, and their voice and
commands just as heeded and obeyed as the males’. Even in the private home of
my father, my mother, the Alpha female was not given orders or commands.
Although, the female always recognized and respected the tendency for the male
to strongly suggest measures to keep her and their family safe. And in matters
of security, the male usually won.

At least, that was the way it was supposed to be.

So why was Horace’s female so shy?

“Yes ma’am.” We bowed our heads, and I led us in a prayer.
Immediately I noticed everyone hesitating to eat.

“Alpha, we do not eat until you do. Please,” he waved
me along.

“I’m sorry. I am unfamiliar with the customs. Where I
come from, the Alpha eats last. Forgive me.”

“The Alpha eats last? The Alpha needs his strength.”
Horace boasted as I almost unwillingly picked up my plate first.

“But the Alpha must always maintain his humility.
Otherwise there’s no clan, it’s just Alpha—alone. And that’s not a clan at all,
it’s a dictatorship.”

I could feel the waves of dissension come off of the
Alpha behind me. My Betas and I would have to tread lightly, but smartly, to
find this black bear. She wasn’t in the room, but she was on the grounds. The
more I tried, the more I could scent her.

I was practically forced to seat myself at the head of
the table. I’d rather be in the mix of the clan, getting to know them better.

“Alpha, I was unaware of these routine inspections.
How often will they be conducted?”

I finished chewing, an act more about making him wait than actual
manners and then replied, “At my disclosure. My father didn’t carry them out at
all while my grandfather inspected on a monthly basis. Mine will be spur of the
moment, no more than twenty-four hours’ notice, if any at all.”

The grizzly Alpha’s face became distorted in rage. He
could barely grip his fork any longer.

He was hiding something—something other than the
female. Or maybe it was something to do with the female. The table finished
their meals in silence, and the females retrieved the plates from in front of
us and offered the males dessert.

“Actually, I’ll pass. May we begin the tour? River
will come with me while Flint goes with whichever Beta is in charge of
finances.”

“Yes, Alpha. Flint, Ridge is our financial officer. He
will show you to his office. And right this way, I will show you the pantry and
other facilities.”

We walked out of the main house, down the steps onto
what looked like almost a small town. But the houses were entirely too small
for growing families and the buildings were worn—and dated, much like their
alpha.

“These are our laundry facilities,” the Alpha stated.

We walked into
a laundromat which seemed off. Thinking of my own mother with cubs, I couldn’t
imagine a female having to drag her laundry to and from a laundromat in the
center of the lands. I walked around the squared off U shape, and as I came
back towards the door, I walked slower, her scent was prominent by the front
washers, it couldn’t be any more than ten hours old. She was there somewhere, I
just had to find her.

“Here is our pantry. It is inventoried once a week. We
divvy out rations according to the family’s needs. Then they are free to
supplement with their own purchases.”

“I see.” I tried to suppress the envy I had over this
portion of the tour. It was so pristine and orderly, and inventory sheets kept
on a clipboard by the entrance. I picked it up and pretended to cipher through
the numbers but really I was scenting her again. She had been in that very
building. The inventory sheets even carried her scent. My bear rumbled inside
me. “Who is this E. initial? Who does the inventory here?”

I laughed, trying to cover my registry of the twinge
of deception in his voice, “I’ve never known a cub to be late for a meal.”

“Well, she has a problem with obedience—always has.”

“I see.” I let his admittance simmer for a while, and
trap him.

“I’d quite like to meet this cub. I can’t picture a
bear so strange.”

“Strange, Sir?”

“Yes, on one hand you claim she’s absolutely
disobedient and on the other you show me a pantry with complete and exact kept
records. She’s a mystery. Have one of your Betas hunt her down.”

He stuttered, “Yes, Alpha,” nodded his head towards a quiet man with a
soldier like stance.

I suspected they would conveniently have trouble finding her. I’d
either have to demand her, or be a little coyer in my search.

I was brought on a shallow tour of the rest of the clan
lands and was taken aback by the contrast of the buildings versus the
belongings of the people. Their clothes were upscale, furniture looked to be
brand new, pantry full, freezers cleaned, but the buildings were crumbling and
the cars were older makes. My first instinct told me they were doing something
illegal. But I couldn’t accuse them, and quite frankly it was their own
business. I could force them to stop, but I’d rather leave them to their own
devices, get caught or not. If it were a black bear clan, I would demand they
cease and desist.

I just wanted the female and to get out of there as
soon as possible.

We were led back to the main house and again offered
dessert. We declined and I made one more move, trying to catch his king
unattended.

“And the female? Echo? Is she so stealthy she cannot
be tracked?”

“I’m sorry, Alpha. She will face discipline as soon as
we find her.”

They were rushing me out. Even the second offer for
dessert carried an air of ‘please say no’.

“I’m sure she will. Thank you for your hospitality. I hope
you can get your buildings in better repair for the next time we visit.”

“Thank you. We will try.”

Flint appeared from a back room with a wary look on
his face. We departed, no more knowledgeable than when we’d left.

They refused to tell me everything—so sneaky Alpha it
was.

“Tell me, Flint.”

“It’s shady. On paper, it looks as if the families get
stipends from some fund, but the numbers don’t add up; plus, they work their
regular jobs. But conveniently, the Beta couldn’t find any of the tax returns, nor
the W-2s for the males. He was awfully tense too, wanted me out of there as
soon as possible. And Alpha, the female black bear lives in the house. After
leaving the office, while you were still on tour, there was no one in the
house, so I walked around. There’s a small room at the end of the hall, I
opened it, and her scent is everywhere. It’s…”

“What?” I growled at him. My bear really didn’t
appreciate him smelling her out, even though he was trying to help.

“I think she’s half human.”

“Half human? It’s not possible. You’re either human or
shifter, even mixed, she’d be either or.”

“I know, Alpha, and I don’t mean to argue, but I know
what I smelled. She’s shifter, I could smell the forest and her fur, but
there’s also an element of human. I don’t know what to make of it.”

I made the next turn, “That’s it. We’re going to see
the wolf. Their lands back up to the bear territory. They may can help us.”

“Ugh, Hawke, I wanna go home. Can we come back another
time?” River whined.

“Aren’t you the one who reminded me that we take care
of our own? If you were here, would you want me to leave you?”

“No, Alpha.”

“That’s what I thought.”

I again slowed the truck as we neared the wolf
territory. They had no idea we were coming. I hadn’t had time to make a formal
announcement. We stopped at the gate and Flint nicked his head towards a
security camera pointed right at the truck. Slowly getting out, I spoke to the
camera.

“I am Hawke Turnclaw. I was contacted by your Alpha.
We request entrance into your lands.”

There was no response for several seconds. My heart dropped at the
thought that I’d never get to see her eyes, never get to know if she was my
mate or not. Never get to save her—if she needed saving.

Then the gate whined and cried as it opened its mouth
wide, letting us in.

I hopped back into the truck and drove slowly in,
their pack lands a stark opposite of the lands I’d just been to. Every house
was of equal size and repair. Anyone could see this pack took pride in their
lands.

And there was the distinctive smell of wolf.

We exited the truck, not knowing what to expect. Then
a man, my height, slim and built, with military type, cargo pants on and a gray
t-shirt emerged from one of the houses, an enormous grin on his face, the sly,
tenacious grin of a wolf.

“Hawke Turnclaw, welcome to our lands. I am Schuylar,
the Alpha.”

Wolves didn’t have last names. They did for legal
purposes, but never used them.

“Schuylar, it is a pleasure. We received your letter.”

I shook hands with the wolf, and we played that ‘my
grip is stronger than yours’ male contest.
I won.

“So you saw her? The female? Why didn’t you retrieve
her?”

“Unfortunately, no. The Grizzly clan is hiding her,
being very evasive. I know that your lands meet theirs. Is there any way we may
see if she’s out there?”

He clapped me on the back, “Of course. We are very
concerned about her. We’ve been watching her for some time. She’s extremely
thin, she works day and night, and there’s…”

“Yes? There’s what?”

“She wears a shock collar around her neck. I’ve seen
her with my own eyes try to cross onto my lands, probably to escape, but the
shock usually causes her to pass out. When she’s bear, it stuns her back to
human form. And when she’s human, she collapses, sometimes for hours at a time.
She stopped trying years ago. But we do know why they’re keeping her. At least,
we think we know.”

We’d walked at least a half mile while he spoke. I
thought it strange that a member of a wolf clan would be more forthcoming than
a bear clan. How dare they.

“What do you think you know?”

He stopped and looked to the sky, his hands on his
hips. “Every time she’s crossed and gotten stunned, she places her hands on the
burn and the redness, the anger of it fades. It leaves a scar, but there’s some
power in her hands. There are other things too, but we will leave those for you
to discover.”

As he spoke, I caught her scent again on the wind. She
was near. Again, I tried to calm my bear, if she was to come with us freely, it
would probably be in human form. I quaked visibly, my bear demanding to be
brought forth, to seek out his mate. But a black bear pummeling towards her
probably wasn’t the best way to approach my mate for the first time.

“There,” the wolf pointed towards a span of land, open
and flat except for one spit of a stream running through it.

“We have tried to watch over her. We told her of your
coming. But she looked shocked. I’m not sure what she expects of you. She may
have been lied to.”

“Do you know her name?”

“Her name is Echo. She has become friends with my Beta,
Blade. He is over there, watching her.”

A tremor of jealousy and rage passed through me and
then from my bear to me, demanding that I take heed of any male, of any species,
getting close to her.

“Alpha, how should we proceed?” River prompted.

“I will talk to her. I believe she is my mate. I’ll
try not to send her running.”

River and Flint chuckled and nodded. They’d obviously
caught the musk of mate-claim coming from me.

I stepped lightly towards the borders, not wanting to
cross them just yet.

“Echo,” I called her name. It felt right, her name
flowing from my mouth, like it had been burrowed into my vocal chords waiting
for its cue.

“Echo,” a little louder after no response.

She sprung to a crouch searched for the owner of the
voice that called her.

“Echo, I am Hawke,” I began, revealing myself, “I am
the Alpha of the Black Bears. I will cause you no harm. You are safe.”

Why in the hell
was I being so damned formal?

She zoned in on my voice, and her eyes met mine. I
stepped back, thrown off by the color. There was no bear I’d ever known to have
turquoise eyes—none. And then I felt it, a click, a clock hand turn, a shift in
my heart, the caring one and the beating one.

And the rest of the world, the solar system itself,
came to a firm and sudden halt.

My heart completely stopped and caused me to clasp my
chest, then began again, a new rhythm, a rhythm that matched that of my mate—my
female. In one instant, my world, my priorities, my being had changed. It all
revolved around her first. I’d give her anything she wanted before anything I needed.
She was mine. And I was completely hers.

She gasped in sync with me, clutching her chest and
looking down, expecting to see something external to match what was happening
to her internally.

“What the hell?” She shouted.

“Stay calm, Echo. It’s the mate-claim. We are mates.
I’ve come to help you. I can get you out of here.”

Wrapping her thin hand around the girth of the collar,
we both realized a piece of metal could stand between my resolve and reality.

“How? I’ve tried every tool in the shed trying to get
this thing off me,” she defied me, clasping the collar in her hands.

How dare they
put a collar on my female like a common canine.

I stepped onto their lands not caring about the
consequences and inspected the collar. It had been welded onto her with iron.
Only with heat could it be removed.

“I won’t leave you. We have to remove this.”

“She must cross the boundaries with it on, Hawke,” the
wolf Alpha shouted to me.

Not hurt her.
Not harm her. No pain. No hurt. My bear spoke to me in broken sentences,
his anger and sheer terror rendering him unable to form full sentences in his
despair.

“I can cross. It will sting, but I can cross. Can you
or someone carry me after that? I will pass out. And as soon as I cross, it
alerts them.”

“I don’t want you in any pain,” I said, reaching out
to touch her hand for the first time. My bear was pleased at the contact,
calmed by the beginnings of a physical claim.

“But it’s just once, and then you can take me away,
right?”

I’d expected rebellion, revolt out of this female. She
trusted me already. It warmed my heart. Maybe she was just desperate for any
way out.

“Yes, I promise. I will take you from here, and you’ll
never return. You’re mine.”

“Yours?” Her eyebrows furrowed in her question.

“Yes, mine. I will explain more later. That feeling in
your heart. You are my mate.”

“I don’t care what I am as long as you get me away
from here,” she said popping a fist onto her hip.

Not the answer I wanted, but I’d take it.

Before I could stop her, she’d leapt across the
boundary and in midair, her body seized and slumped to the ground, lifeless.

I grabbed her bag and scooped her up before anyone
else could touch her and began to run.

Echo

My nose smelled male bear, and it shocked me awake and
into action. I clawed at anything in my reach.

“Stop the truck, she’s freaking out,” I knew that
voice but couldn’t place it.

“Echo, Echo, darlin’, you’re safe.”

His voice stopped me
dead in my tracks and hands on my face brought me back down to Earth. “Easy,
girl,” he cooed, smiling at me. “Deep breaths. We’re far away from that place
now.”

A stinging sensation on my neck tumbled me out of the
depths of his eyes and back to reality. I touched my neck here and there until
I found the spot that burned.

“The collar’s gone.”

“Yes,” he hugged me to him, and I had no desire to
pull away. “The wolves helped us get it off. But your neck is badly burned. We
tried to put some burn cream but it hasn’t healed you much. ”

Hawke, I think
his name is Hawke.

Mine.

“I can fix it.” Closing my eyes, I called upon the
spirit that often helped me in times of need. There was no need to touch the
wound. The warmth would filter through my body, finding the pain and healing
it. I had to touch the wound or the diseased area on another person, but on
myself, it wasn’t necessary.

“Woah,” someone said from behind me.

“You’re a healer and a shifter. How is that possible?”

I shrugged, “How should I know? I’ve never even seen a
bear that looks like me, much less, one that could do whatever I do.”

The male who held me in his lap; covered by a blanket,
laughed, “You’ve never seen a black bear? Well then you’re in luck.”

“How’s that?”

“In about an hour, you’re going to meet an entire clan
of them.”

Fear froze my insides, “Don’t be afraid. I feel your
fear, mate. Our clan is loving, and we don’t keep slaves. You will be
completely safe and unharmed. I hope one day you find yourself happy even.”

“I wouldn’t know happy if it slapped me in the ass.”

“Ok, ok. Can we talk for a minute, outside?”

“Yes?”

I’d never experienced a male ask for permission.
Usually, I was jerked by the arm to another room and told what to do. But this
male—he was kind. It was familiar, yet off-putting. Confusion didn’t begin to
define my state of mind.

We stepped outside the truck, me hopping down from his
lap. He climbed out after me and the other two males got out on the other side
and purposefully walked in the other direction. The fresh air helped, though it
carried with it a mugginess, almost like walking into a curtain of rain.

“Echo,” he hesitated, “Wait, I don’t even know your
last name.”

“Echo Valley,” I replied. My bear almost whined inside
me, pleading, begging me to reach out and touch him again. She was desperate to
be near him.

He smiled and stepped towards me and took my hand.
“It’s ok. Don’t ever hesitate to touch me when you need to. I am Hawke
Turnclaw.”

I crunched my eyebrows together, “How?”

“How did I know? You’re my mate. I can feel your needs
before my own. It’s more my bear than me. It will always be like this.”

“You didn’t even know me before. How can we be mates?
How can I be anyone’s mate?”

I
cleared my throat and took my aggression out on the bread he’d thrown at me. “After
Gray but before the last time.”

I
was grateful that Knox could decipher my generalities.

“What
are you going to do with it?”

“I’m
going to wear it when I gather the courage.”

“Aysa,
you’re made of courage. You don’t want Roman to see it.”

I
cursed under my breath, but I knew he heard it. He always did. “I know. I know.
I’m a selfish hag.”

He
chuckled. When the waitress came back, he ordered for us both. We always got
the same thing. “You’re not a hag. You’ve made yourself clear to him. But here’s
what you need to explore. Why do you feel like you need to hide it from him? He
knows you love Ezra. He knows that Ezra loves you. Ask yourself that.”

Knox
and his damned exploring. He should’ve doubled as an archaeologist or Dora the
Explorer. He was always asking me to explore this or explore that. It was
painful.

The
thing was, I always came out better on the other side.

One
day I was going to make him explore my fist. Not really, I have a hard time
squishing bugs.

“I’m
hurting him.”

“So
stop it.”

I
shot him my best stink eye. He was right. I was using Roman as my crutch and it
needed to stop.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

I am super excited about this blog hop. There's 13-14 YA authors involved and they are all wicked talented!

I am honored to share Jamie Magee's post here! Jamie Magee is not only one of the most brilliant people I know, but I'm proud to call her one of my dearest friends.

So, with no further delay...

Excerpt from FRICTION:

She couldn’t deal with being in Willowhaven—it
hurt too badly.

In all truth, she knew she was a coward. If she
were living out of state with her mom, she could fool herself, pretend her
father was waiting on her, only a phone call away. Memphis was sure if she did
so, their mother would take what belonged to Georgia, spend her entire inheritance.

Easton started to move the boat toward the next
dock. It took him a second to figure out how to respond. He got why she wanted
to run, but he knew this would kill Memphis. His sister was his life, always
had been—right now they were going to need each other more than ever.

“Lucas would have wanted you here.”

“Well then he should’ve have died,” she nearly
shouted. “Dads don’t leave, not
now—not now they don’t. He should have—he should have—”

“Shh,” Easton said, reaching for her but she
jerked back, embarrassed she’d broken her calm, allowed her selfish anger to
surface.

“I get it, I do.”

“Then don’t guilt me into staying with
Memphis—he’s got this whole town to lean on. I gotta deal with me.”

“Right,” Easton said under his breath, knowing if
he were her and not seven when he lost his dad, he’d have done the same. “These
are still your roots though, you can be ticked off all you want—but no matter
where you go, this is home.”

“What makes it home?”

“Us.”

Georgia jarred back a bit, not knowing how to
take his one singular word.

“You heard me, this is home for us—go on, run wild or whatever, but this
is still home,” he said with a wry grin as he looked back to make sure he was
guiding the boat correctly.

“You’re
like Memphis. Think this town is some kind of heaven, you like people knowing
all about you. You like having to stay in one mold your entire life, knowing if
you change people will think you’re a fraud.”

He laughed, which made her cheeks flame. She
knew it was too dark for him to see, but it still made her mad. Still made her
think this good ‘ol boy was looking at her like some dark emo girl who lived
for the morbid.

“It’s been a hell more than a heaven, and I
don’t give a damn what people think about me. Everybody changes, clearly,” he
said with a nod to her.

“A nod…means what?”

He shrugged. “Blonde looked good on you.”

“You really hate my hair don’t you?”

He laughed, a deep, real, soulful laugh.

She barely stood from her seat and reached
across the boat to slap him. When she did so the boat rocked, which scared the
hell out of her and made her legs wobble, and the boat rock more. Within a
second she felt herself falling to the side.

Her hell-bent aim on the water stopped abruptly.
She felt his arms surround her waist and pull her against him.

Knight in
shining armor…

Easton was still sitting in place, but she was
standing between his legs, looking down at his face, which was a breath away
from her chest, her heaving chest, rising and falling with each and every rapid
breath.

His hands were braced on her waist, holding her
in place, which did little to no good. The boat was still rocking and the
moment it rocked harshly with the current she lurched forward, sending them
both flying backward in the boat.

Laughing, he carefully reached for her face. She
was lying across him, and her hair was a canopy placing them in their own
world.

The second his gaze met hers, the instant he saw
no humor was in her stare, his entire world changed.

Every warning bell he had was silenced; he didn’t
know his own name much less basic morals. Morals which chanted wrong time, place—the wrong girl.

Slowly, he raised his head, his gaze searching
hers before rising to her lips. He was straining to stall, to give her any and
every chance to stop him, but before he knew it, his lips were on hers.

About Me

I am the Young Adult author of both contemporary, dystopian, and paranormal teen romances. My books include the Love and Skate Series, the Bayou Bear Chronicles, The Lightning Series, AnguiSH, Seeking Havok and Sparrows For Free.

I love to interact with my readers! Email or contact me on social media and let me know you've read my work.

For more information about me or my books and ways to contact me visit: www.lilafelix.com