Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Theater Whore: Terminator Genisys

Terminator
Genisys 1/10

Normally
when I wrote a review I will say spoilers ahead but if you've seen
the poster or trailer for this movie then its already had a major
part of the story spoiled. I actually wonder what this would've been
like if it hadn't. When that particular scene happened it would have
been far more surprising and I would have given this a 2 instead of a
1. And that 1 is because I smiled whenever Pops aka T-800 aka Arnold
Schwarzenegger smiled. I will try to explain what the hell this
garbage ass movie was about even though Terminator Genisyscouldn't.

The
future is fucked as usual because nothing anyone does changes that.
Someone who is never named sent Pops back in time to protect Sarah
Connor as a child because I guess she is too tough when she is a
teenager or adult for Skynet to take out. Kyle Reese goes back to
meet with her and another liquid metal robot is sent as well as they
try to reenact the first Terminator movie. So now we have the first
Terminator Pops killed and this metal one gunning for Sarah. Oh, and
Reese is a terrible everything. He's dumb, doesn't listen, gets his
ass kicked all the time, and reacts too quickly. And he's played by
Jai Courtney to make sure that this movie tanked.

I
forgot to mention that Dr. Who infected John Connor in the future
right when Reese was being sent into the past because he has some new
special power that Skynet has created. Now nothing that ever happened
in the other films matter. This is brand new now. And total shit.
Reese's memories are all mixed up, John comes back from the future
and he is infected with Skynet which for some reason is called
Genisys. And what is Genisys? A goddamn app! That's what it is! The
world will be destroyed by an app! Fuck this plot!

I knew
this wouldn't be good but I really didn't expect it to be as bad as
it was. I feel bad for anyone that has a real love of the franchise
because it is now wrecked. I'm sure some could say the same when a
bad Batman movie comes out but its such a part of our culture that
its hard to make irreparable. This was Arnold's last shot at making a
good Terminator film and he got dragged into utter bullshit. This was an expensive version of a fan film and what happens when you let kids pretend they're adults.