Chasing You

Summary:
[Implied love triangle] Post New Moon. Bella's made her decision and Jacob's made his. She's trying to let everything go...and he's fighting with all his might to hold on. Common sense and instict dictates that he should hate her now. Bella had chosen her side, and it wasn't his. She's picked the vampires over the werewolves. She may as well be a bloodsucker now. She's the enemy. But underneath the bitter mask and anger, he yerns to repair what's left of their relationship...still wants to try and save Bella from a fate worse than death, but she's not interested. She keeps running away, and he chases right after her. But she can't run forever. Right...?

Notes:
There are 4 chapters to this story, so enjoy walking 4 miles in Jacob Black's shoes. :)

3. Fighting

"A final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works."

--T.E. Kalem

x x x

"Why the hell are you here?"

She won't answer. Instead she glares at you - blood red eyes flaring with fury - then up at her long, pale arms pinned against the jagged rock face by your large, tanned fists. She feels so cold and hard. When her gaze returns to you, it's even darker than before. But she still won't say anything. Your rage suddenly flares and you begin to shake.

It's hard to stay calm when she's looking at you like that - that hungry, livid expression that sends chills down your spine. She was supposed to have disappeared, and quite frankly, she should have stayed that way. She can't be seen around here anymore. Not only for her own sake, but for the sake of the people she so cold-bloodedly abandoned. The changes in her are drastic, something you still can't get over and you've been holding her here like this for close to an hour now. Her ruby eyes disturb you, and her frightfully alien appearance is enough to make you sick. It was just like you had imagined...only so much worse. Her body sways to an unnatural grace that seems so sinister. Her features are so glassy...so smooth...but still so angular; like a novice sculptor has carved her marble body without smoothing and rounding out the edges, leaving them pointed and over-defined. Not one inch of her entire being is rounded or even remotely natural looking. She's become a walking crystal. It's sopainful to look at her because you feel like you've failed - failed to save her from such a...ugly existence. She moves slightly underneath you and her mirror-like skin reflects the dim light emitting across the small meadow, making her seem almost inanimate for a second, before the light slowly fades away behind the horizon.

It's darker now, making her seem slightly more human, allowing you to see some of the girl she used to be. You're so angry at her because you thought you were just starting to get over her...just starting to put your life back together, and then the second your eyes find her all of your work falls to pieces. Just by seeing her again you've had to admit to yourself that you never really got over her after all. But what makes you even madder is that you still love her. Even after everything she's done...after everything she's said...you're still head over heals for her.

You couldn't be madder with yourself, because you know what that means...

It means that even though she's a vile bloodsucker...even though she's betrayed everyone she ever loved in the coldest of ways...even though you should kill her because of what she is...even though she was the one who broke the treaty after over one hundred years of strained peace between her kind and yours...even though your hairs stand on end all over your body purely because of what she's become...

...It means you would fight for her life without hesitating for a second.

And you couldn't hate her more for it...because you're pretty sure she knows that. And it hurts you more than you can say to know that she's using you for her own little games. Why else would she be here?

Your face naturally folds into the usual bitter mask of anger, hiding your pain. It's still hard to look at her. Now all you want to do is cry, but you hold the tears back. It won't do you any good. They'd be wasted on a creature that no longer cares if you've been hurt or not. That much has been made clear just by the way she looks at you with such hatred.

"Why are you here, Bella?" You ask calmly through clenched teeth, fighting back the urge to look away as a gush of cold air sweeps past you, stunning you with that disgusting perfume off her skin that burns your nose. It's strange, though. She has another slightly nostalgic scent all over her body-different from hers-and you can't pick it. Although still highly unpleasant, it's familiar. Whilst you can pick a vampire a mile away, they all have subtle differences in the way they smell. It's almost hard to breathe because the scent is so suffocating.

Again her jaw tightens as she strains away from your face, signaling to you that she plans to still tell you nothing. Her palms instinctively tighten into fists as her eyes continue to bore holes right through your skull. You tighten your hold to prevent her escape, and she growls-a soft, feeble sound vibrating in her chest. It distracts you, because it sounds so...so animal and so un-Bella. So un-human. You don't think you'll ever get used to it.

"Are you going to tell me? If not, then get the hell out of my sight before I accidentally hurt you. You're my enemy now, Bella. Friend or not," you growl back, suddenly releasing your hold on her and stepping away. She catches herself elegantly-again so unlike the Bella she used to be. You half expected her to fall over-before she bounds a good distance away. Her body moves fluidly through the long grass and flowers, and you follow her every movement with your sharp eyes. The moon's milky light engulfs her frame as it moves, and now she's even more surreal then when she was in the sunlight.

That's when she surprises you. Her face goes from furious to confused in an instant...and then she's abruptly curious, tilting her head to one side as she stares at you with those horrid eyes. "Ja...Jacob? Is that you?"

Was she playing dumb?

"Of course it's me! Stop being stupid!" you roar, your voice carrying out over the small meadow in a loud echo. She doesn't flinch. She only continues to stare with a frustrated look...and then she smiles wistfully.

"Sorry," she whispers while looking away. "My instincts just took over and I was lost to them. As soon as I caught a whiff of you...it was like someone else just took over"-she pointed toward the cliff, a bewildered expression crossing her alien features-"...and then you threw me up against the rock face and I just remember thinking ‘danger danger danger' because you smelled so bad...and I couldn't see your face clearly...then you let me go and I was back to being me again..."

She stares down at her hands in amazement and then flashes you a smile; her deadly teeth flashing in the moonlight. "I guess I'm still getting used to it all."

Now you're sure that you're the one who's terribly confused, because she's acting so nice and as if nothing ever happened-as if she's not a vampire and you're not a werewolf. It's irritating because you're still so mad at her, but you just saw her smile and the anger is melting away. You're clawing at it, trying to keep the fury within you, butshe's still smiling. But then you remember how much danger she's in and everything that's she done and next thing you know, the fury's bubbling under your skin.

Somehow, you manage a frown. "Get the hell out of here," you say firmly, and her smile disappears instantly. "You'll die if you don't. The treaty's broken. If you're seen around here, you'll be killed."

Again, she doesn't move, her figure swaying with the gentle breeze. Her chocolate brown hair is caught in a sudden updraft-distracting you-and then she's suddenly there. Eerily, terrifyinglyclose, her brilliant red eyes trapping you in her gaze. Your breath hitches in your throat again from the thick, musky fragrance coming off her skin.

A note of sobriety enters her voice and it sounds strange in your ears when you hear the question. "How's everyone handling it?"

She sounds so detached...so apathetic that the familiar anger boils away under your skin again. You knew what she was implying, being so pathetic in not just saying the names of the people she "apparently" cared about. Perhaps that was her weakness and she wasn't as uncaring as she seemed. Still...

‘How's everyone handling it?' You don't want to remember what it was like for you...for everyone so wholly connected to Bella when she didn't return that stormy night. It's still bad now...but nothing compared to then...

x x x

Your eyes forced themselves open through a hazy grog, your subconscious clinging to a dream that's already been forgotten. It's been a week since Bella disappeared, and you've been hoping to hear something of her...anything, although you expected not to. She's run off with her bloodsucker after all, why would she care about you now? You wished you were still asleep because now your chest is aching with the memory of Bella's goodbye. You want to go back to being trapped in a dreamless coma because the pain is still tearing away at the walls of your heart.

Something must have woken you up.

Then you heard it. The loud, repetitive ringing of the telephone-the last thing you want to hear right then because you knew who was on the other end. It was Charlie wondering if you knew where Bella is. You knew who she was with, but not where she was. It's not like you can tell him that though. You knew something that might help Charlie find her and instead you were forced to have to stand by and watch him suffer.

The phone was still ringing.

You pinched hard against the bridge of your nose, and idly wondered if it was possible for a werewolf to get a headache. Why hadn't Billy answered the phone yet?

Shit. You were going to have to get up. And it was going to hurt.

You groan as you dragged yourself to your feet, slumping over and throwing your head in your hands. The phone stopped ringing then and you're angry because you were already up by then...

...Bella was dying.

You don‘t know how you knew. You just did. There was an irritating, gnawing feeling at the back of your mind, not to mention the pain in your chest. It was almost like an on-coming heart attack - your arms were trembling and numb and your chest was constricting tightly. It was bad, and you wondered if at this exact moment Bella was lying in some dark basement screaming and writhing in pain as that horrible bloodsucker's venom drained away all of her vitality with every passing second.

You wanted to be sick.

‘Jacob. Stop!' Sam roared in your head and you winced. Everything was falling apart around you and you were powerless to stop it. You still are.

‘Enough. I know it hurts, but Charlie needs your help again.'

‘Why can't you go?' you growled back.

‘Because it's your turn,' he said matter-of-factly. ‘Jarred and Paul are tired. We've been patrolling all night. Take Embry with you and get going.' That was definitely an order and you knew better than to fight with Sam. You slumped over towards your window and sprang out, landing effortlessly on the ground below. You were still extremely tired, but soon enough you were running-so fast that the houses, trees and cars were nothing but a mixed, ugly blur. You poured all of your thought and energy into it, anything to get your mind off of Bella...at least, for awhile. You don't take Embry with you. He'd prove to be too much of a nuisance because he'd want to talk, and you didn't feel like talking to anyone unless absolutely necessary.

Charlie never took Bella's disappearance very well at all. Not that you were expecting him to, but even his reaction startled you. He spends all of his waking hours searching the town, searching out of town, searching through the reservation, for some sort of proof...anything to tell him that she's alright. That she's coming back. That she is indeed still alive.

You know that she isn't.

You have to be the one who goes and watches him - to make sure that he gets home alright. Billy tries to spend as much of his time with Charlie as possible, but there is only so much that he can do. You know one of the reasons that he searches so diligently for his daughter has something to do with Bella's mother, Renée. She was the one who raised their daughter, and Charlie never really recovered from losing her. You can't even begin to imagine how must he must be tearing himself up inside because he caused his ex-wife so much pain by having to tell her that he lost their only child. It hurts you so much to see Charlie in such pain because you see Bella you can imagine that Bella's in a lot of pain, too - screaming, shaking, convulsing...

And you can't do anything.

What a mess...

x x x

You snarl angrily as the memory fades from in front of your eyes, revealing the still unfamiliar and shocking form of the girl you once knew, but still love. She still has that curious look on her face, almost as if she can't imagine why your eyes were sad.

It's impossible not to be offended. What else did she expect to find if she returned? Did she honestly believe that you'd be all smiles? That her parents wouldn't be grieving like they were? You almost feel sorry for her if that's what's she honestly expected.

You stare down at her in disapproval. "Why did you let him do this to you, Bella?"

Her inquisitive expression vanishes instantly and is replaced by an incredibly wary one. There's a hint of anger when she speaks. "Do what?"

"This!" you say incredulously, desperately trying to convey your message, even though you know it's too late. "He takes away everything from you and leaves you broken, and then when he suddenly re-appears, you welcome him back with open arms without any kind of consequences. Didn't you ever get angry at them just once for what they did to you?" The words are flowing fast now. You've had all of this bottled up underneath that bitter mask for sometime now and it's almost refreshing to let it all out, even though you already know her answer.

Almost.

"No," she whispers in an uncomfortably calm voice. "I've always loved them. No matter what. At one stage, I didn't think the feelings were returned, but I know now that they've always felt that way about me, too." Bella smiles, the conviction in her voice seemed to make her relax a little. She looks up at you then, her mood abruptly shifting again. Are all vampires this moody? "You've grown," she says, bewildered as she arches her neck all the way back in an exaggerated motion, giggling to herself.

You're not laughing.

"What do you want?" you demand gruffly, quickly becoming impatient. You've figured out by now that she didn't just come back here for no reason - not when she didn't have to...and it must be pretty important if she's willing to put her "beloved" family of bloodsuckers in danger while doing so. More importantly, you want her to get the hell outta here before Sam and the others show up. You can't go against the alpha's wishes, and you know that you'd be ordered after Bella. You don't want that. You realize then that there would be no point in killing Edward, either. As much as you would like to, it still wouldn't change anything. In fact, it'd probably only make everything worse. Bella would still be a vampire, and her "family" would definitely "return the favor" were you to do away with Edward. But Bella loves him, and you know that if push came to shove, you wouldn't be able to do it, because Bella would be unhappy, and no matter what she's become, you couldn't live with yourself if you were the cause of that unhappiness.

...Still, teaching him a lesson couldn't hurt. Could it...?

"I made a promise to myself, once," she started, snapping you out of your private revere. "That day when I had to say my first goodbye...the day Edward thanked you for saving me..." - her voice was thick with pain - "I promised myself that, before I had to say goodbye to you forever, I would see you truly smile. And until that day comes...I can't make myself truly leave. I can't let go."

You don't know what to say to that.

"It was just like I promised you, Jacob: you'll always be my best friend. Regardless of what happens between us, I'll always think of you that way."

"What about Charlie and Renée? What do you think of them?" Your question was almost inaudible, but you know she heard it.

"I love them. I always will," she said confidently, a slight, sad smile playing on her lips.

"But not as much as Edward," you nearly spat, and the sudden change in your voice surprised her for an instant, before her face smoothed back over into cautiousness. This time though, you could see there were slight traces of irritation sparkling in her eyes. You're starting to tremble again.

"It's not like that!" she replied with just as much hostility, her eyes narrowing as she shot you a death glare.

"Then what is it like, Bella? I'm sorry but from where I'm standing, it looks as if you've abandoned everyone except your beloved bloodsuckers. Am I wrong?" You started growling then as your shacking slowed. You were definitely getting better at keeping your temper under control, but it could very easily slip. This is, after all, was a very, very dangerous conversation to be having with her. If you don't control your emotions, you could easily phase and attack her without any control over your body. It's so...uncomfortable around her. She's not fazed by you at all, and you don't like that. That means that someone has taught her how to protect herself and whilst in a pack, werewolves can easily kill a vampire, when it comes to one-on-one, they tend to have a better advantage because unlike you, they're more durable and what they lack in speed, (when compared with a werewolf that is) they make up for in strength and venom. The venom can't kill you, but Sam says it hurts like hell and you're sick for days.

"I had no choice. I've told you already; I wasn't going to live without him."

You scoff; furious that that's her only pathetic excuse. "Of course you had a choice, Bella! Do you want to know how your mother took it? She just collapsed-she was like you just after Edward disappeared; catatonic. She still is pretty bad, from what I hear. You could have stayed alive...for Charlie...for her...for me."

She's calmer now, and that bothers you. You can't tell if that comment about her mother has bothered her or not. You hoped it would. The fact that she can discuss the condition of her parents with such...detachment proves to you just how much brainwashing she's been subjected to by those vile blood drinkers. Vegetarian or not.

"No," she says firmly again, her voice rising as she shakes her head slowly back and forth. Her head moves, but her eyes don't. They stayed glued on you. "When I returned from Italy, it was obvious to me that...if Edward left again, there would be nothing of me left. I wouldn't have survived had he left me a second time."

Dark, rainy clouds begin to make their way across the sky, blocking the moonlight. Again you notice how much more human Bella looks in the pitch black of night, and you almost want to cry at the thought, because it's clear to you that that's all there is left of her human self now. Her human shell. Everything else that used to be her is forever dead, never to come back to life again.

You'll miss her terribly when she leaves. Just like she said about Edward, you're not sure what'll happen when she takes off again. When she said goodbye the other times, you always had an inkling that she would somehow come back. But now you know that she's going this time for sure, and you don't know what that means, or how much it will hurt. It's hard, because even now, when you're both on opposing sides - both so completely un-human - you're still on the same page with her. Kindred Sprits.

And this is the first time that's bothered you. Because it's going to make it that much harder to let her go.

She's thinking the same, too.

Even with the absence of moonlight you can see the uncertainty and pain in her expression - an expression that's reflective of your own, you're sure.

You realize now that no matter how much you beg and plead Bella for justification, it doesn't change anything. She'll be a vampire for the rest of eternity - the worst kind of immortal death there is. Never-ending.

That means that you really will never see her again, because you are mortal. Not only will you never see her again in life, but in death as well. She's been barred from conversing with you because of what you are, and she's been expelled from the only place you could have seen her again because of what she's become. That final revelation is enough for you to feel like you're drowning in pain and there's no relief in sight. Not ever.

You'll be spending the rest of eternity without her. You want her. You need her. You love her. And it means nothing.

Suddenly, it's hard to breathe.

"Tell me, Jake. How have you been?" She's watching with alarm, her eyes anxious, and you wonder what your face looks like. It's an easy enough question to answer, and yet it's hard to answer at the same time. You could tell her how you've been handling it all...how you've tried your best to not think about her...about how you've been trying to pretend that all of this isn't happening at all. In hindsight, you're probably worse off than Charlie and Renée - at least, while they have trouble dealing with it, they've accepted it. You haven't. You absolutely refuse to. Yes, you're drowning in denial, but for now, it's better then having to come to terms with the pain. But you don't think you could tell Bella all that without bursting out of your skin. Literally.

But the problem is that you're starting to wake up to reality of the situation. You want to scream at your eyelids to stay closed, to keep feigning ignorance for at least a little longer, but they don't obey. You can feel your face twisting in pain and you see Bella physically cringe at the sight, her eyes suddenly horror stricken and remorseful.

"I'm sorry, Jake," she chokes, her palms automatically rising to cover her mouth. "I shouldn't have come, but you had to know...and I knew you were the only one who would listen to me. You have to know that a war isn't necessary anymore."

It was easier to recover when she mentioned that, and with some effort, you managed to put your mask back on. "Yes it is," you say, your voice still a tad shaky. "You know very well what happened when that bloodsucker bit you."

You watched Bella, and her expression surprised you; she looked almost frightened. Her head whipped around to meet your gaze, absolutely scared stiff, her vivid ruby eyes worried. You realized a second too late that she wasn't afraid for her own safety, she's worried about you. "Run!" she bellows, but just as the word left her mouth, your un-invited guest suddenly breaks through the black thicket and out into the clearing.

His eyes dart around anxiously for a moment, before coming to rest on Bella's face and he instantly relaxes, his expression calm.

It was Edward. Hmph. That explains the smell all over Bella...but you don't even want to think about that.

His features changed as he watched her; crumpling into an enraged expression. He was mad at her it seemed, and you could probably guess why...

Bella hadn't told him she was coming to see you.

His petulant gaze returns to your face, and just by him simply looking at you, you feel a huge shudder rack your entire body.

"Jake, no!" Bella commands, but it's much harder to keep yourself under control with him staring at you like that.

Edward grabs Bella, pulling her behind him in a protective stance and you growl - the shudders are becoming more regulated. As if you would hurt her. You have to calm down, you realize. Before anything bad happens.

"Get out of here, Bella," Edward whispers urgently to her, his voice bleak. But she only shakes her head.

"No. Not unless you come with me."

Her eyes flash to yours for a moment and for a second, the shaking stops.

"You're not fighting him Edward. I absolutely forbid it."

"I won't fight him, Bella," he says coolly, but his snarling contradicts his tone. "But you need to get out of here. Now. I'll finish up here delivering the news. You should have told me you were coming here, though. What if something had happened to you?" He sounded disappointed in her, and you found it hard to believe that he was even capable of such an emotion.

"You wouldn't have let me come."

"True," he says, voice grim. The whole time, neither one of their gazes left your shuddering face. "And this is why - he's barely keeping his temper under control."

"I would never hurt her!" you roar, your control slipping. It's never been this difficult before, but you know that he's trying to push you to prove his point - to prove to Bella what a monster you are.

‘Jacob!' Sam screams in your head. ‘We're on our way. Keep yourself under control for just a little bit longer, alright?'

"At any rate," Edward snapped, his eyes furious, "you won't be able to, anyway. You're on our land and the treaty still holds its boundaries. So tell your dog friends not to bother."

The shock of his statement, and the accompanying dread that he might actually be telling the truth, was enough to sober you for the moment. Although, how it was even possible was something you couldn't understand. In your head, the rest of your Brothers were also confused. Sam was cautious. ‘Stay on guard, Jake. It could very well be a trick - he's a good liar, that one.'

"No, don't you bother - I know it's a trick, so forget it."

Edward snorted. "Would we risk our lives coming out here to play a practical joke on you?" he asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow. The action only made you seethe. As much as you hated to admit it, he had a point. You straighten up - still shaking, but under control now - and fold your arms defiantly over your chest. "Get on with it."

Edward smirks. "I didn't bite her."

"Then who did? Carlisle? Or one of your coven's females? It doesn't matter, the fact still stands that someone from your family has bitten her. The contract is broken and there's nothing you can do about it."

"No," he says slowly. "There is." He enthuses every syllable, watching you with a hard expression.

"What then?"

Edward took a deep breath, eyes intent on your face. "True, our family turned her, but we didn't bite her," he explains, picking his words carefully. But it's not that which bothers you - it's what he isn't saying that causes you to be skeptical.

"So then what did you do?"

"The treaty says that as long as we don't bite a human, it still stays in place."

Again, it's what he's not saying there that has you worried. But you're also not sure and slightly baffled - does that mean the treaty still stands...or is this some brilliant bluff of his? You'd best wait for Sam, you decide. You don't really know much about the technicalities behind the contract that keeps the peace between your kind and his. But that still leaves one question...

If he didn't bite her, then how did he turn Bella?

"Does it matter?" Edward asks suddenly. You growl; you'd forgotten for an instant there that he could read minds.

"Of course it does! How did you kil-?"

Edward suddenly tenses, snarling. Bella made a move to put herself in front of him, protecting him like a shield. He tries to pull her away, but she doesn't move.

You relax. Sam's here, and Jared, Embry and Paul are reeling up behind him. Sam was perfectly calm, but the others were stiff and edgy as they stared down the vampires half way across the meadow. You looked over towards Bella and she didn't seem anxious at all, either. Her eyes were mad though, but Sam didn't care.

"Bella," Sam acknowledges quietly from his position with a slight nod. She only mimics the gesture and says nothing.

"If the treaty still stands, then we'll need proof that you indeed didn't break it."

"I can do that," Bella says casually. She takes a deep breath before she begins. "We didn't want to start a war, so we found a way around the treaty. The contract between our two kinds clearly states that should a vampire bite a human, it will be void from that point onwards. Edward didn't bite me."

"We know!" Jared calls impatiently, a large shudder running down his spine. Sam called for him to be quiet and he obeyed, even though he was still quivering quite noticeably from where you were standing. It was dangerous - Sam's concentration was divided, and that wasn't safe. Most of it was centralized on making sure Jarred and Paul didn't explode out of their skins and attack their still "innocent" guests.

"We won't," Edward promises, reading your mind yet again. Something in the tone of his voice made you think he was trying not to laugh. "We want peace as much as you do."

Finally, it was your turn to say something. "Then why risk losing it on her?"

"Jacob..." Bella whispers, but you ignored her. None of this made any sense. He had to be lying. They must want to start a war. Why else would he change her? If peace and privacy meant anything to these blood-sucking leeches, why not just leave Bella human? It would have made everything so much more bearable for everyone...

"Enough," Sam calls, a rare sound of impatience in his tone. "Just tell us what you came to say and then leave. Your family has already created enough anxiety and pain in this little town. So tell us once and for all...how did you change Bella into a vampire if you didn't bite her?"

Bella steps forward, her head bowed to avoid your Brothers piercing stares. Yours though, was anxious. You didn't know what you wanted to hear. On one hand, a war meant you'd get revenge, but you know you don't want it. But if there isn't a war, then once again the vampires get off scott-free without any consequences for what they've done to Bella and her life...for what they did to the people she once loved. And that, in your mind, was inexcusable.

Suddenly, her head flew up to meet your eyes, and her answer came out in nothing but a quiet mumble. The pain in your chest flared when your saw how sad her eyes were. Edward stood tensely at her side, eyes darting from one werewolf to the next, watching your every, single move very carefully.

"Edward kissed me."

You had absolutely no control over what happened next.

You. Just. Lost. It.

Sam saw it coming, and you could hear him screaming at you to calm down, but his voice was already muffled and far away. Bella's watching you carefully, hands splayed out in front of Edward. That just made you even more angry, ‘cause you could see Bella clearly, now - convulsing, screaming, dying...and all the while, that bastard keeps kissing her...keeps killing her. You're even more upset when you see Bella's arms splayed out in front of Edward; doing everything she can to protect him from harm.

Embry, Jarred and Paul surround you, trying to hold you back, but the instant they try to move in, you burst out of your skin with a loud ripping sound that fills your ears. The whole time you never take your eyes off Bella and she's trying to tell you something - you can see her lips moving, but you can't hear a word. She looks worried, and she's pushing Edward farther away towards the bushes. You can hear fuzzy, angry voices in your head, none of them distinct or familiar.

You catch a glimpse of Edward behind her, and you charge. He's snarling and growling as he runs out from behind Bella, and as soon as you pounce, you think that you've finally caught him.

But the instant you blink, Edward's gone.

Now Bella's there instead...and you can't stop yourself.

She's not mad, though. She's still trying to tell you something - screaming at you desperately - but she's not angry.

She looks like she's about to cry.

She doesn't try and protect herself, and for one horrible moment, you actually believe you're going to kill her...and there's nothing you can do to stop yourself.