Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.We will mention by the help of Allaah some of the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.

FINANCIAL RIGHTS :-

The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.

The mahr (dowry). This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman.

And give women their dowries as a free gift but if they of themselves be pleased to give you a portion of them, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result”

(SURAH NISA 4 VERSE 4)

This does not mean that the woman is a product to be sold, rather it is a symbol of honour and respect, and a sign that the husband is willing to shoulder his responsibilities and fulfil his duties. Sharee’ah does not stipulate a certain limit for the mahr that should not be overstepped, but it does encourage reducing the mahr and keeping it simple.

Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis”

(SURAH AL-BAQARAH 2 VERSE 233)

Narrated Aisha:Hind bint `Utba (Abu Sufyan’s wife) came and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Abu Sufyan is a miser. Is there any harm if I spend something from his property for our children?” He said, there is no harm for you if you feed them from it justly and reasonably (with no extravagance).

SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 3, Book 43, Hadith 640)

A’isha reported:Hind. the daughter of ‘Utba, wife of Abu Sufyan, came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Abu Sufyan is a miserly person. He does not give adequate maintenance for me and my children, but (I am constrained) to take from his wealth (some part of it) without his knowledge. Is there any sin for me? Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Take from his property what is customary which may suffice you and your children.
SAHIH MUSLIM (Book 18, Hadith 4251)

ACCOMODATION :-

Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. The fact that this spending is obligatory is indicated by the Qur’an, the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars and of all wise people.

EVIDENCE FROM QURAN :-

“Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him. Allaah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allaah will grant after hardship, ease.

(SURAH AL-TALAAQ 65 VERSE 7)

but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear.
(SURAH AL-BAQARAH 2 VERSE 233)

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means”

(SURAH AL-TALAAQ 65 VERSE 6)

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable

(SURAH AL-BAQARAH 2 VERSE 228)

EVIDENCE FROM SUNNAH :-

Many haadeet were narrated which show that it is obligatory for the husband to spend on his wife and children, and those who are under his guardianship.

Sulaiman bin Amr bin Al-Ahwas said:“My father narrated to me that he witnessed the farewell Hajj with the Messenger of Allah. So he thanked and praised Allah and he reminded and gave admonition. He mentioned a story in his narration and he (the Prophet) said: “And indeed I order you to be good to the women, for they are but captives with you over whom you have no power than that, except if they come with manifest Fahishah (evil behavior). If they do that, then abandon their beds and beat them with a beating that is not harmful. And if they obey you then you have no cause against them. Indeed you have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you. As for your rights over your women, then they must not allow anyone whom you dislike to treat on your bedding (furniture), nor to admit anyone in your home that you dislike. And their rights over you are that you treat them well in clothing them and feeding them.” (Sahih)

SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 1, Book 7, Hadith 1163)

Narrated Mu’awiyah ibn haydah: I said: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.

ABU DAWOOD (Book #11, Hadith #2138)

IMAAM AL-BAGHAWI SAID :-

“Al-Khattaabi said: this is a command to spend on women and clothe them, according to the capabilities of the husband. As the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made this a right of women, it is necessary whether the husband is present or absent. If the husband is not able to do it, it become a debt which he owes, as with all other duties, whether or not the qaadi (judge) issues a decree to that effect.”

Narrated Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri: Mu’awiyah asked: Apostle of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house.
ABU DAWOOD (Book #11, Hadith #2137)

It was reported that Wahb said:“A freed slave of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr said to him, ‘I want to go and spend this month there in Jerusalem.’ He said, ‘Have you left enough for your family to live on during this month?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Then go back to your family and leave them what they need, for I heard the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying: “It is enough sin for a man not to give food to the one whom he is supposed to feed.

Hasan (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will ask everyone who has been given responsibility about whatever he was responsible for, until He asks a man about his family.”

This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.

It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.”

IBN MAJAH (HADITH 2340)

Among the things to which the Lawgiver drew attention in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or beating in a severe manner.

INTERCOURSE. :-

The husband is obliged to have intercourse with his wife on a reasonable basis, which is one of the most important rights that she has over him; it is more important than feeding her. he wise husband must do is take care of his wife in that regard and give it priority over everything else, so that he may keep her chaste, conceal her and meet her needs as much as he can, even if he does not have an urgent need for that and even if he had to do it only for her.

SHAYKH AL-ISLAM IBN TAYMIYAH SAID : –

“It is obligatory for the husband to have intercourse with his wife as much as is needed to satisfy her, so long as this does not exhaust him physically or keep him away from earning a living… If they dispute over this matter, the judge should prescribe more in the way of intercourse just as he may prescribe more in the way of spending.”

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who stayed away from his wife for a month or two months and did not have intercourse with her; was there any sin on him or not? Could the husband be asked to do that?

He replied: The husband is obliged to have intercourse with his wife on a reasonable basis, which is one of the most important rights that she has over him; it is more important than feeding her. It was said that what is obligatory with regard to intercourse is once every four months, or according to her need and his ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and his ability. And the latter is the more correct opinion.

Obedience to the husband is obligatory and that serving him and responding to his call and fulfilling his needs is one of the best things that a wife can do,

Abu Hurairah narrated that The Prophet said:“If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone, then I would order the wife to prostrate to her husband.” (Hasan)

SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 1, Book 7, Hadith 1159)

THE WIFE SERVING HER HUSBAND. :-

The wife serving her husband. There is a great deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.

SHAYKH AL-ISLAM IBN TAYMIYAH SAID :-

She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman.

(AL-FATAAWA AL-KUBRAA, 4/561)

TREATING HER HUSBAND IN GOOD MANNER. :-

The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable”

(SURAH AL-BAQARAH 2 VERSE 228)

AL-QURTUBI SAID :-

It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbaas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.

IBN ZAYD SAID :-

You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you.

The meanings are similar, and the aayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.

(TAFSEER AL-QURTUBI, 3/123-124)

INTERCOURSE. :-

The woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her.If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

Narrated Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said, “What is this, O Mu’aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you. The Messenger of Allaah (S) said, “Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”

the phrase “on a saddle” refers to the saddle used for riding a camel. The hadeeth is urging women to obey their husbands and if they cannot refuse them when they are in this situation (i.e., about to ride off on a camel) then how can they refuse them in other cases?

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, “If a man Invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning.”

SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 121)

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, “If a woman spends the night deserting her husband’s bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband).

SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 122)

IBN HAZM SAID : -

Both slave women and free women are enjoined not to refuse the master or husband if he calls them for intercourse, so long as the woman who is called is not menstruating or sick and likely to be harmed by intercourse, or observing an obligatory fast. If she refuses with no excuse then she is cursed.

(AL-MUHALLA 10/40).

AL-BAHOOTI SAID :-

The husband has the right to enjoy his wife at any time, so long as that does not keep her from performing obligatory duties or harm her; he does not have the right to enjoy her in that case, because that is not part of living with them honourably. But if it does not distract her from that or cause her harm, then he has the right to enjoyment.

(KASHSHAAF AL-QINAA 5/189).

NOT ADMITTING ANYONE WHOM THE HUSBAND DISLIKES. :-

One of the rights that the wife has over her husband that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.

Sulaiman bin Amr bin Al-Ahwas said:“My father narrated to me that he witnessed the farewell Hajj with the Messenger of Allah. So he thanked and praised Allah and he reminded and gave admonition. He mentioned a story in his narration and he (the Prophet) said: “And indeed I order you to be good to the women, for they are but captives with you over whom you have no power than that, except if they come with manifest Fahishah (evil behavior). If they do that, then abandon their beds and beat them with a beating that is not harmful. And if they obey you then you have no cause against them. Indeed you have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you. As for your rights over your women, then they must not allow anyone whom you dislike to treat on your bedding (furniture), nor to admit anyone in your home that you dislike. And their rights over you are that you treat them well in clothing them and feeding them.” (Sahih)

SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 1, Book 7, Hadith 1163)

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah’s Apostle said, “It is not lawful for a lady to fast (Nawafil) without the permission of her husband when he is at home; and she should not allow anyone to enter his house except with his permission; and if she spends of his wealth (on charitable purposes) without being ordered by him, he will get half of the reward.”

NOT TO OBSERVE VOLUNTARY (NAFIL) FAST WITHOUT HER HUSBAND PERMISSION. :-

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, “A woman should not fast (optional fasts) except with her husband’s permission if he is at home (staying with her).

SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 120)

Abu Hurairah reported the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) as saying:
It is not allowable for a woman to keep (voluntary) fast when her husband is present without his permission, and she may not allow anyone to enter his house without his permission.

ABU DAWOOD (Book 13, Hadith 2452)

Abu Hurairah narrated that:

The Prophet said: “A woman may not fast a day – other than in the month of Ramadan – while her husband is present, except with his permission.” (Sahih)

SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Book 4, Hadith 101)

“Except with his permission” means apart from fasting the days of Ramadaan, and obligatory days apart from Ramadaan if there is not much time. This hadeeth indicates that it is haraam for her to observe the fast without her husband’s permission. This is the view of the majority of scholars. This hadeeth indicates that the husband’s right over his wife takes precedence over her doing voluntary good deeds, because his right is an obligation and doing what is obligatory takes precedence over doing a voluntary action.

NOT GOING OUT OF THE HOUSE EXCEPT WITH THE HUSBAND’S PERMISSION. :-

One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.

Islam requires the man who has more than one wife to treat his wives equally and fairly. What is meant by that is fairness with regard to spending the night he should divide his time equally among his wives, so if he spends one or two nights with the first, accommodation, spending and clothing.

AL-SHAAFA’I SAID :-

The Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah and the view of most of the Muslim scholars indicate that the man must divide his time, night and day, among his wives, and must divide it equally, and that he is not allowed to be unfair in that.

(AL-UMM 5/110 )

THERE IS A STERN WARNING ISSUED TO THE ONE WHO HAS TWO WIVES AND DOES NOT TREAT THEM FAIRLY :-

Abu Hurairah narrated that:

The Messenger of Allah said: “When a man has two wives and he is not just between them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with one side drooping.

SUNAN TIRMIDHI (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1141)

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet said:”Whoever has two wives and is inclined to favor one of them over the other, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.”

Al-Teebi said in his commentary on the words “with one of his sides leaning”, i.e., tilting. And it was said that this will be in such a way that all the people on the Day of Resurrection will see him, so this will increase his punishment.

(TUHFAT AL-AHWADHI 4/248)

This evidence indicates that it is obligatory to treat co-wives fairly and equally, and that it is haraam for the husband to incline more to one of them in a way that will hurt the other.