Decoding vacation rental listings

December 4, 2012 10:38 AM

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In LaSalle's book, 'In the heart of the action is code for 'upstairs from a bar.' A lot of the NYC rentals that use the phrase 'in the heart of the action' are on the Lower East Side, known for its nightlife scene, and indeed a lot of the listings and reviews mentioned bars, including this one.However, none of the reviewers claimed about the nearby bars. Like we said, if you know what you're getting into, you'll be happy with what you get! (Airbnb) less

In LaSalle's book, 'In the heart of the action is code for 'upstairs from a bar.' A lot of the NYC rentals that use the phrase 'in the heart of the action' are on the Lower East Side, known for its nightlife ... more

In LaSalle's book, 'In the heart of the action is code... Photo-3839770.53361 - SFGate

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In NYC vacation listings, 'gem,' LaSalle writes, means 'small.' Indeed, this 'perfect gem' studio listed in Midtown for $150 a night features a dining table about the size of a cocktail diamond. (Airbnb.com)

In NYC vacation listings, 'gem,' LaSalle writes, means 'small.' Indeed, this 'perfect gem' studio listed in Midtown for $150 a night features a dining table about the size of a cocktail diamond. (Airbnb.com)

LaSalle says 'quaint' means, 'small and old.' At 250 square feet, this listing apparently uses 'quaint' to mean, 'as cute as one of those tiny dogs that New York women carry around in tote bags.' One of the comments probably says it best: 'Excellent for a short stay.' (Airbnb.com) less

LaSalle says 'quaint' means, 'small and old.' At 250 square feet, this listing apparently uses 'quaint' to mean, 'as cute as one of those tiny dogs that New York women carry around in tote bags.' One of the ... more

In LaSalle's dictionary, 'European style' means 'small and Ikea furniture. Indeed, an Airbnb search for European style coughed up this 665-square-foot loft with chairs that look suspiciously affordable and Swedish. It's in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and rents for $150 per night or $900 per week. (Airbnb) less

In LaSalle's dictionary, 'European style' means 'small and Ikea furniture.
Indeed, an Airbnb search for European style coughed up this 665-square-foot loft with chairs that look suspiciously affordable and ... more

LaSalle says that 'modernist' = 'all Ikea furniture.' This Chelsea studio actually only describes the bathroom as 'modernist,' but the whole apartment looks to follow LaSalle's code. It's a 450-square-foot 1-bedroom and rents for $150 a night. (Airbnb) less

LaSalle says that 'modernist' = 'all Ikea furniture.' This Chelsea studio actually only describes the bathroom as 'modernist,' but the whole apartment looks to follow LaSalle's code. It's a 450-square-foot ... more

According to LaSalle, 'experience city living' is code for 'loud.'We couldn't find a listing with the whole phrase, but this one uses the words, 'city living.' You can't hear the noise level in the pictures, but you don't have to, because the comments say it all: 'If you are used to quiet, this place is not for you.'That said, guests gave the 550-square-foot Bedford-Stuy loft 4.5 stars. It rents for $90 a night. (Airbnb) less

According to LaSalle, 'experience city living' is code for 'loud.'
We couldn't find a listing with the whole phrase, but this one uses the words, 'city living.'
You can't hear the noise level in the pictures, ... more

According to LaSalle, 'experience city living' is code... Photo-3839776.53361 - SFGate

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LaSalle warns that 'garden apartment' all too often means a ground-floor place with a view of the trash cans. We found plenty of ground-floor units labeled 'garden,' but none where the write-up or reviews mentioned garbage cans.The bare deck on this garden unit will most likely be nice in summer. However, the captions criticizing the photographer on this listing are too good to miss: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/264403 (Airbnb) less

LaSalle warns that 'garden apartment' all too often means a ground-floor place with a view of the trash cans. We found plenty of ground-floor units labeled 'garden,' but none where the write-up or reviews ... more

LaSalle says that 'cozy' secretly means 'really tiny and on the ground floor. While this listing doesn't say what floor the apartment is on, that is the 'coziest' kitchenette we have ever seen!This 550-square-foot 1-bedroom in Grammercy Park rents for $175 a night, and garnered 4 out of 5 stars from visitors. (Airbnb) less

LaSalle says that 'cozy' secretly means 'really tiny and on the ground floor. While this listing doesn't say what floor the apartment is on, that is the 'coziest' kitchenette we have ever seen!
This ... more

If you thought that Grammercy Park kitchen was small, check this one out! This listing contains the key phrase 'great location,' which LaSalle translates as 'the apartment is horrible.'Well, this Upper West Side place only got three stars, because of problems such as the shower not working, the bed being big enough only for one person even though the listing says 'accommodates two,' and for one guest, the lights not working.Our favorite review comment: 'You are better off anywhere else regardless of how cheap this place is.'How cheap is it? It's $99 a night for one bedroom in 250 square feet. No extra charge for candles. less

If you thought that Grammercy Park kitchen was small, check this one out! This listing contains the key phrase 'great location,' which LaSalle translates as 'the apartment is horrible.'
Well, this Upper West ... more

LaSalle says that the words 'historic brownstone' often signal that the neighborhood leaves something to be desired. While there are surely lots of brownstones in lovely and safe neighborhoods, we did find this listing touting the building's brownstoneness in Fort Greene, which Business Insider listed as one of the 10 most dangerous neighborhoods in the city.Guests of this apartment didn't seem to think it was a dangerous neighborhood, though. They liked the 2-bedroom, $155-per-night apartment, giving it 5 out of 5 stars and particularly praising the neighborhood. (Airbnb) less

LaSalle says that the words 'historic brownstone' often signal that the neighborhood leaves something to be desired. While there are surely lots of brownstones in lovely and safe neighborhoods, we did find this ... more

In LaSalle's guide, 'romantic' = 'a closet.'To be fair, the lister said that this 'cozy nest in classic artist's loft' was NOT great for 'couples seeking a romantic vacation,' but when we saw the photo of the space you would be renting, we just had to share. Yes, your 'room' would actually be a loft space just above the front door, which you access by climbing up an industrial slide. A closet would be luxe compared to that!The price is right, though. You can stay in this non-romantic non-closet for just $55 a night. Guests gave it 4.5 out of 5 stars, although one mentioned that it was 'like sleeping in a toppled wardrobe.;' (Airbnb) less

In LaSalle's guide, 'romantic' = 'a closet.'
To be fair, the lister said that this 'cozy nest in classic artist's loft' was NOT great for 'couples seeking a romantic vacation,' but when we saw the photo of the ... more

In LaSalle's guide, 'romantic' = 'a... Photo-3839781.53361 - SFGate

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LaSalle claims that 'pied a terre' means the apartment is a shed. Well, we didn't find any sheds for rent, but this 'pied a terre' looks awfully tiny -- you could easily keep an eye on a pot on the stove from the sofa. (Airbnb) less

LaSalle claims that 'pied a terre' means the apartment is a shed. Well, we didn't find any sheds for rent, but this 'pied a terre' looks awfully tiny -- you could easily keep an eye on a pot on the stove from ... more

LaSalle warns that charm can be code for 'dirt,' and sure enough, although this 'charming' East Village 2-bedroom looks clean in the photos, reviewers found otherwise:'very dirty (used tissues under the bed, hairs in the shower etc.)'the really bad thing is all the dust and dirt on the carpet and on the floor. The same happens on the rooms, plus there is almost no closet space. Sheets didn't look clean neither (sic). I recommend to take your own sheets. Bathroom disgusting (sic)''the apartment was very unclean''we felt that the cleanliness level was far from being sufficient''The shower badly needs cleaning and regrouping.'Who knew there were so many ways to say filthy? (Airbnb) less

LaSalle warns that charm can be code for 'dirt,' and sure enough, although this 'charming' East Village 2-bedroom looks clean in the photos, reviewers found otherwise:
'very dirty (used tissues under the bed, ... more

LaSalle warns that charm can be code for 'dirt,' and sure... Photo-3839783.53361 - SFGate