Winter Olympics: Rocks Around The Clock

Add snow and ice to
athletic competition and there's sure to be a spectacle of speed. Racers flash
down mountains or frozen chutes at 80 miles an hour; skaters go aerodynamic and
see their fates determined by hundredths or even thousandths of a second.

For one of the Observers,
though, the most compelling Winter Olympics drama occurs at a deceptively
tranquil pace...

Frank: I can't get enough of curling! I've been watching
live games before dawn and tape-delays into early evening.

Artie: Mighty nice for a retiree with nothing but time.

F: Well, yes, but that makes it great for multi-tasking.
You can do crosswords or read magazines between the shots. But it's also ideal
for DVR-ing! The screen icons show how many of the eight “rocks” are left in an
“end,” so you can zip to the last few if you want.

A: That's for me. Nobody scores until the end ends,
ain'a?

F: But the strategy changes with every rock. Do you set
up “guards” to keep the opponents from getting near the center of the rings? Do
you try carom shots, even off your own rocks, to knock the others out? Should
this shot be thrown hard or soft? And a huge factor is who owns “the hammer,”
or last licks of that end.

A: So how have our Americans done?

F: Alas, no medals. The U.S. men finished 2-7 and the
women were 1-8.

A: So we're the Kansas City A's of curling?

F: Actually, a U.S. men's team won bronze in 2006 and
U.S. women took fourth in '02. But four years ago both teams went 2-7.

A: Are we using lighter rocks than everyone else?

F: Well, curling in America is less professionalized
than in some other countries. Our players have real-life jobs too.

A: Olympians we can relate to.

F: And they are good enough to have reached
Sochi. But it always comes down to shot-making, and this is the premier game of
inches, even millimeters. Over the weekend our men lost to Russia and Canada
when John Shuster, the captain, barely missed on tying shots that would have
forced an extra end. The U.S. women lost to Sweden when a compass-like
measuring device showed that Erika Brown's potential tying shot stopped a hair
farther out than a Swedish rock. Then Brown's team took undefeated Canada to
overtime but lost by a point again.

A: So we've simply been out-shot.

F: On Sunday a microphone picked up Shuster saying
they'd been "on the wrong side of every millimeter." Just like
Marquette's ice-cold hoopsters against Ohio State in November or UW's against
Northwestern last month.

A: But there ain't no hands in a curler's face.

F: Still, there's plenty of defense with guard rocks and
knockout shots. Just like in pool you have to think one or two shots ahead and
see all the angles. But I've also begun to think of curling in terms of
free-throw shooting...

A: But that's the part of basketball that doesn't involve
defense.

F: But also the least exertion. It's all about practice
and muscle memory. But what if every time a player went to the foul line the
hoop was a foot higher up, or to one side, or farther away? And what if there
were barriers that forced you to shoot a very high arc or aim to brush one side
of the rim?

A: While shooting from basically the same place.

F: Exactly! A curler faces all sorts of variables on
every shot, including the condition of the ice.

A: So if we didn't do well, who has been?

F: Both Canadian teams easily reached the medal round,
as did the Swedes. And as we speak the colorful Norwegian men are in the hunt.

A: The guys with the wild outfits?

F: Yeah, lots of gaudy pants with designs of red, white
and blue. And the other day they played a game in knickers and Irish caps, like
Payne Stewart used to on the PGA Tour. But my favorite non-American team is the
United Kingdom women. They're from Scotland, and when they're game-planning I enjoy
trying to decipher their accents.

A: Kind of like navigating a field of guard rocks.

F: Now you're talkin'! Actually, it's easy to know what
a shooter is yelling as a rock slides toward the rings. No matter what
language, the message is either “Hard!” for heavy sweeping or “Whoa!”

A: I wish my vacuum cleaner ran that way. Then I could
stay on the couch and watch more curling.

F: I also love the Scottish lasses because they tried
one of the boldest plays of the tournament. Against Canada they were down two
points in the final end and had a clear shot for a tie and overtime. But the
captain, Eve Muirhead, went for the win!

A: Like Vince Lombardi passing up a tying field goal in
the “Ice Bowl” when he had only one play left.

F: Right. Muirhead didn't succeed but Vince would have
approved.

A: Not to mention his illustrious predecessor,
"Curler" Lambeau.

F: Um, sure.

TRUE TO HIMSELF

F: I know we both applaud former Missouri defensive end
Michael Sam for his courage in announcing that he is gay, which means he likely
will become the first openly gay player in the NFL.

A: Absolutely. He should be accepted for who he is.

F: It's significant that Sam's Missouri teammates knew
this during this past season, apparently with no problems arising.

A: Well, the main thing is that he's apparently a heck
of a player. He was the co-SEC defensive player of the year and the Tigers went
12-2.

F: And how he plays should be the main thing as
far as the NFL is concerned. As Mike McCarthy said, “Any player who can come
here, be a good teammate, follow the rules of our program... and produce on the
football field, we have room for that guy.”

A: But there are some teams where that might not be the
case. If I were Sam I'd be worried about getting drafted by the Dolphins, for
one.

F: Not long after Sam's announcement we learned that an
NFL-mandated report concluded that Richie Incognito and two other Miami
offensive linemen engaged in a “pattern of harassment” of Jonathan Martin and
another, unnamed player. Much of the harassment seems to have involved racial
taunts, but I'd have to think there was some homophobic stuff too.

A: I believe I read articles saying that.

F: It's pretty likely that kind of thing would come up
anytime an NFL player is being accused of being “weak.” But I'd say this
investigation and report are pretty good indications that the NFL will be
watching closely to see how Sam is treated throughout the league.

A: Assuming he IS a good teammate, as it appears from
his Mizzou days, by the time training camp is over and the season begins I
think there won't be much controversy. For one things, something else will come
along, another player getting in trouble with the law, whatever.

F: I was surprised to hear that Sam was being projected
as a third- or fourth-round pick, even with his SEC credentials. But then I
read that his size—listed as 6-foot-2 and 255 pounds—make him something of a
“tweener” in terms of NFL positions. Maybe not big enough to play as a
D-lineman but maybe with some quickness issues as an outside linebacker.

A: THAT'S where some controversy might kick up, when we
find out exactly when he's drafted. If he's perceived to have “dropped” from
the projections people might say he's being blackballed, whereas it might just
be a simple evaluation of his talents.

A: Especially with the way every team goes through so
many injuries over the course of a season.

F: Sam's situation is a lot different from that of Jason
Collins, the former NBA player who came out as gay during the last off-season.
He was at the end of his career and no longer very productive as a player.

A: More reason to praise Sam, because he could easily
have concluded he had too much to risk financially by coming out.

F: The generally supportive reaction to Sam's news is
another indication of how rapidly the U.S. population is coming to accept gay
people and their rights.

F: But still, I've got to think Sam wouldn't have found
as much support in the league even 10 years ago. But as we know from our own
lives and families, just about everyone has someone gay as a friend or
relative. And when you put a real face on an issue, it's not so easy to dismiss
it.

A: Here's what would be really great: Richie Incognito,
who's a free agent, signs with a team and then that team drafts Sam. And they
line up across the line from each other.

F: With the NFL and nation watching.

NASCAR DOES SOME TINKERING

F: You're the gearhead in this partnership. With the
Daytona 500 coming up Sunday, I see that NASCAR has revamped the format for its
Chase for the Sprint Cup, but I m relying on you to explain it

A: Sorry, I misplaced my slide rule. I read the story
and even printed out the details from the NASCAR site, but it was fruitless.
Halfway through I got totally lost.

F: And you're someone who cares about racing!

A: I did kind of grasp that whatever they did is
supposed to give more value to winning races instead of just surviving with
decent finishes.

F: I guess there'll be more teams who qualify for the
Chase, 16 instead of 12, but as the 10-race series goes on the contenders will
be whittled down until there are only four who can win the Cup in the season finale.

A: Um, if you say so.

F: I suppose you could say that winning is always most
valued, but in a sport where machines are zooming and veering and crashing, or
breaking down mechanically, and there are 43 of these machines that
start every race, the potential for any car to run into trouble is mighty high.

A: Bad motor, bad driver, bad luck—any or all of 'em.

F: By the way, why does NASCAR mandate 43 cars
every race?

A: You got me stumped again.

F: I know it was Richard Petty's car number but I doubt
that's the reason. Anyway, if they want to add value to winning and put a
premium on great driving, why not give drivers a little less traffic to
navigate through? For that matter, why not limit the field in Chase races to
only the top 16 or 20 or 24 teams? I'd hate to think that part of the 43-car
thing is to make sure there's good potential for mayhem.

A: One thing I do know: Whatever they do to the Chase
has TV ratings behind it. I think the numbers have been going down in recent
years, and NASCAR is like any other sports operation. TV money rules!

F: It all sounds a little desperate. Well, I'm sure
you'll keep me apprised of the standings as we get to the new and improved
Chase. Especially if Wisconsin's own Matt Kenseth is in the running.

A: It was Matt's title in 2003, with only one race win,
that started all this Chase stuff. But no matter what they do it seems like
Jimmie Johnson winds up with the title!

F: Six of the last eight, including last year. I guess
no matter how popular a guy is, it can get boring if he wins too much.

A: I think I read somewhere that if this year's format
had been in effect last year, Kenseth would have won the Cup.

F: Hmm, I thought I heard someone on ESPN say it would
have been Dale Earnhardt Jr.

A: Hell, maybe someone thought it would have been A.J.
Foyt.

DRIVER TO DRIVER

F: While we're on NASCAR, what did you think about the
exchange of comments between Mr. Petty and Danica Patrick? I was going to call
it a brouhaha, but that's not really what it was.

A: No, I wouldn't call it that either.

F: Petty said the only way Patrick would win a Sprint
Cup Series race was “if everybody else stayed home.” She replied that
everyone's entitled to an opinion, and Petty denied that he's a sexist and said
he's glad for the fan interest she brings to the sport.

A: I don't think “The King” was saying he thinks women
can't drive. He was giving his honest opinion of a driver.

F: Which is exactly what Patrick wants to be treated as,
simply one of the NASCAR drivers. And in fact she hasn't been very successful
so far at that level. She was eighth in last year's Daytona 500 but that was by
far her best finish, and she was way back in the season standings.

A: Way back, like a lot of other drivers.

F: I've been impressed when I've seen her in interviews
because she always says she's got a lot to learn and plans to work as hard as
she can. And I don't recall anything from last season to indicate that a lot of
people think she's a menace out there.

A: Everyone gets involved in some wrecks.

F: Including Kenseth, who triggered a big pileup
Saturday night at the Sprint Unlimited at Daytona. He later said he never saw a
car on his inside.

A: I see a new sponsorship for Matt. Coming soon: The
Stein Optical No. 20 car!

BACK ON COURSE

F: Things are looking a lot better for Marquette and
Wisconsin hoops. After beating Xavier on Saturday the Golden Eagles went into
this week on a three-game winning streak, and the Badgers' convincing win at
Michigan made it four straight for them.

A: UW's defense was very impressive again. It makes me
wonder why it disappeared during that dismal “matador” stretch a couple of
weeks ago. Plus the Badgers had only two turnovers against the Wolverines.

F: That's a big change from even a week earlier, when
they had something like eight TOs in the first 10 minutes against Michigan
State.

A: Winning in Ann Arbor is big. Now let's see if the
Badgers can do it again this Saturday at in Iowa City.

F: Marquette, meanwhile, is making up for that clinker
against St. John's. Their winning streak includes some revenge against Butler
and Xavier, whom they'd lost to on the road.

A: They've got a couple more challenges on the road
against Villanova and Providence, but it looks like they might meet Buzz
Williams' goal of finishing 11-7 in the Big East.