As the procreator of three fabulous kids, who have all inherited my flare for the dramatic, I am either hysterically laughing, or operating in various modes of crisis control. Alfred Hitchcock once said that "drama is life, with the dull bits cut out", to which I reply - 'Where are the dull bits'?

Once inside the store Woman is annoyed to discover she can not find her coupons.

After searching the car Woman drives home because Harris Teeter is to dang expensive without coupons.

Coupons are NOT on kitchen table where Woman expected them to be.

Woman looks through the car again and finds coupons which had fallen on side of dang passenger seat.

Woman drives back to distant grocery store - wishing that she did not drop her iphone in the Pacific Ocean because now she has a bottom of the line cheap-o phone which does not double as an ipod - and frankly, listening to some of her favorite tunes right now would be a really great way to alleviate some of the annoyance and stress over the whole coupon-athon.

At check-out Woman must fill out paperwork for new Harris Teeter card because she apparently lost her original and can not remember which dang phone number she originally used.

Woman was once a checker in a grocery store and HATED coupon shoppers because they were always a pain in the.....neck. But heck, woman now lives in one of the most expensive areas of the United States and has three kids so she will ignore the annoyance of the checker.

Woman has to split her order into two separate purchases because H.T. only allows 20 coupons per purchase.

Woman will ignore the increased annoyance of the checker because for crying-out-loud she waited until nearly 10:00 at night to go shopping so that there would not be any long lines behind her.

Woman takes groceries to car.

And.........................Woman's keys are not in her purse.

With elevated heart rate, Woman hauls loaded grocery cart back into store where Night Manager informs her that keys have NOT been turned in.

Woman retraces steps through grocery store and at last finds keys sitting on the counter of the bleep-bleepity-bleeping check stand.

5 comments:

Oh, Wendy, I have missed your blog entries! I have a love/hate relationship with coupons. I love the satisfaction of feeling like I beat the system, but I feel self-conscious at the check out stand and let's face it, it is a pain finding the coupons. I am often relieved when a coupon expires and I can throw it away.

oh, you are amazing! This is why I DON'T do coupons--this is my story WITHOUT coupons. I loose every list ever written, any coupon every clipped and keys are seriously a variable (most often found IN MY PURSE after the whole store staff is searching aisles--oops:). But the glory of 1.25 bag of M&Ms makes me re-think my rule. Laughed and cried the whole time!