As a kid, I was an overt and mean bully. As a manager, I learned ways of bullying covertly by hiding behind my rank. Although I may not have been as bad as other bosses, I was still a bully and very good at getting away with it.

In both situations, albeit years apart, I found ways to justify my behavior. I felt entitled to my actions!

I was wrong both times and had to look in the mirror long and hard to face up to the fact that it was ME who needed to change.

It took courageous and caring feedback from a few trusted colleagues to help me realize what I was doing, but it also took my years of remorse to humble and remind me that I had bullied before and could definitely be bullying others again.

Rarely are managers, in any field, well prepared to deal with employees who need corrective input. In fact, we’ve heard all too often how the whole idea of being critical strikes a note of "being

AlGonzalezinfo's insight:

Excellent post on Feedback that serves. Here is my favorite section:

Steer In Another Direction

You may have someone on your team or in your company who needs a frank and honest wake-up call, explaining how they are not a good fit for the company.

When you lay out the specifics with care and respect, hopefully the individual can understand that they would be better off if they moved on rather than feel frustrated and continue to receive less than sterling performance ratings.

Sometimes you can steer the individual in a new direction within the company, but be prepared for this to be met with hurt feelings, skepticism, or flat out refusal. In either case, remember that your honest attempt to help has still been a wake-up call about reality.

And that, in the long run, will be a gift whether or not the recipient can accept

Understanding Feedback: The 'GPS Direction' To Leadership Success Forbes Margareth is a leader in Europe. She is very dynamic and her overall leadership effectiveness rating is strong, placing her at the 91st percentile.

The bottom line is that feedback is a valuable tool for seeing where you stand with various groups of reports. We continue to find that the best way to understand your performance as a leader is with a 360 assessment.

Getting feedback from managers, peers, direct reports and others is much like switching from a paper map to a GPS instrument.

Both show you where you want to go, but the GPS device also shows where you are currently standing in relationship to the ultimate goal. This is critical data in determining the quickest and best path to where you are wanting to be.

(From the article): The bottom line is that feedback is a valuable tool for seeing where you stand with various groups of reports. We continue to find that the best way to understand your performance as a leader is with a 360 assessment. Getting feedback from managers, peers, direct reports and others is much like switching from a paper map to a GPS instrument. Both show you where you want to go, but the GPS device also shows where you are currently standing in relationship to the ultimate goal. This is critical data in determining the quickest and best path to where you are wanting to be.

The other day a person, who is writing a book about feedback/360 degree, remembered I was still alive and contacted me to ask if she could interview me. Of course, flattered by the invitation, I agreed immediately (I like people interviewing me!).

AlGonzalezinfo's insight:

Good article on six points relevant to feedback. While I don't agree with his third point, Petere Honey shares good insight on the topic.

Here is my favorite section:

...I am strongly in favour of what I call suggestive feedback where you offer people thought-starters, or options, about possible ways forward. These are offered on a take-it-or-leave-it basis. Even if all the suggestions are rejected, the very fact they have been offered stimulates the recipient's own ideas. The suggestions need not be offered straight away; you could invite their ideas first and only offer yours if you think some promising possibilities have not been explored.

Excellent scoop Claudia. The reason I am adding the image above to this scoop is that feedback is very, very tricky. While we may have the best intentions, the effort can back fire and set a relationship back.

This article is very helpful and I especially like the coaching and asking for permission concepts. We need to study articles like these and prepare carefully in order to increase our chances of delivering feedback that serves.

How do you feel about getting feedback? Scared? Maybe a little upset? Following the tips on constructive feedback in this article can prevent all those bad feelings that come from a regular feedback session.

The line between being constructive and criticizing things is very thin. The supervisor should act as a coach using more questions than bluntly pointing out issues and leaving it at that. According to the article, "A coaching approach can also help foster an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect, leading to a healthy and productive relationship."

After the employee knows about the problem, the focus should be turned onto how to fix it and alter their approach to the work that will lead to the desired result.

"Seeking permission from the employee before offering feedback can "soften the blow" and help prepare the recipient by making her aware that the supervisor is about to offer some constructive advice."

I believe that asking before giving feedback would be a lot better for both the supervisor and the employee, as they would both be ready and hurt feelings would be easier to avoid.

The supervisor is not the only one who needs to strive for a successful feedback session. The employee must keep an open mind and be sure that they understand the next actions they must take. Without the mutual effort, things may not go as well as the may have.

I admit it. It can be more than a little terrifying to find out what other people think of you. Up until that point you can pretend that all is well and you’re doing absolutely nothing wrong. The moment you say “What do you think about…?

AlGonzalezinfo's insight:

Why Feedback is Important

Like ripping off a Band-Aid, getting feedback from your customers, clients, co-workers or employers is important, no matter if it could be a little hurtful. However, like tearing off a bandage, the pain quickly goes away and you forget what you were so worried about.

Who would dispute the idea that feedback is a good thing? Both common sense and research make it clear: Formative assessment, consisting of lots of feedback and opportunities to use that feedback, enhances performance and achievement.

..."Manage your own behavior first. Many managers try to control others’ behavior by being coercive, manipulative or demanding. Control your impulses, take responsibility for your actions, and be adaptable. If you aren’t a responsible leader, don’t expect employees to shoulder the responsibility for making your business a success."

AlGonzalezinfo's insight:

When we receive feedback with an open heart, it is easier to look in the mirror and improve.

Why do most managers and executives have trouble "coaching" their teams to higher levels of peformance? Why is it that so few companies spend NOTHING on training managers and executives how to coach, inspire, delegate, assign, and give feedback?

Everyone pays lipservice to the idea of leading/managing teams, but so few companies put their resources behind the concept of being a great place to work because of the quality of the leadership/management.

We seem to have taken the "heart" out of leading/managing and it's become a very sterile environment that just doesn't work. Trust comes from the heart, and if you're not leading, managing, coaching from that perspective, your team will NEVER trust you!

Barry Deutsch

Leadership Blog for CEOs and Senior Executives in the Vistage and TEC Community

If your passion is focused on being the best leader possible, join us in our LinkedIn Discussion Group for leadership topics ranging from hiring and retaining top talent to outstanding sales management

Want to improve your product, speech, or website? Stop asking people whether they like it.

Bottom Line: If you know there’s still work to do--on your draft essay, on your public speaking skills, on your product--ask people for one or two specific ideas on how they’d improve it. Focus their mind exclusively on practical, specific changes that they think would lead to improvement.

It was truly an honor to have been joined by Professor Kim Cameron, on Leading Beyond the Status Quo this week. He is a true advocate for the power of forgiveness and its relevance to good leadership.

Professor Cameron explained that to be a strong and mature leader, we need to have the courage to face those who may have done us wrong and present an objective description of the issue. Strong leaders overcome the desire to get even and are able to list the negative consequences because of the action taken against them.

Unbeknown to me, Professor Cameron researched the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Hearings in South Africa and has actually visited the prison cell where Nelson Mandela was held.

(From the article): Strong leaders lead towards a positive outcome by partnering with the other party in preventing the issue from happening again. This way, both parties create a collaborative partnership and a positive future for them AND the organization.

researchers discovered that there was one particular type of teacher feedback that improved student effort and performance so much that they deemed it "magical."

Students who received this feedback chose to revise their paper far more often that students who did not (a 40 percent increase among white students; 320 percent boost among black students) and improved their performance significantly.

Feedback may have either of two purposes: to influence the quality or quantityof performance. Feedback that affects quality of performance is called formative feedback, while feedback that affects quantity of performance is calledsummative feedback.

In addition, feedback can encourage or discourage behavior depending on what form it takes; positive feedback reinforces behavior while negative feedback extinguishes it.

In general, negative feedback can result in an unpredictable substitution or change of behavior (Tosti, 1986), and should be used with caution or avoided altogether. As a rule, develop performance with formative feedback, and encourage repeat performance with summative feedback.

Powerful story. Leaders must not be afraid of feedback ... in fact, you should seek it out. You already know that your people cannot grow if they are not afforded honest and constructive feedback. They same applies to leaders. Don't make the mistake of stifling your own grown--and that of your organization--by shielding yourself from much needed feedback.

I love this post from the CEO at Happy Cog. His honesty and transparency is something we need so much from the big boss.

Most importantly, his courage in not only being reviewed but to talk about it and why it is importantly!

Here is a very good section about his advice to others:

Reality: I waited too long.If I can offer any advice to people in my position, it’s please don’t wait to get a candid assessment of what your coworkers think of how you’re steering the ship. Chances are, you’re not as smooth as you think. Also, only by subjecting yourself to the same processes and protocols you impose on your colleagues will you truly understand how they impact them. You’re not immune.

It works when employees feel they can be honest. We did the same thing several years ago and basically were told not to say anything negative or we would be out of the profession. Sometimes silence says enough. I left my survey blank.

Founded in 1943, ASCD (formerly the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development) is an educational leadership organization dedicated to advancing best practices and policies for the success of each learner.

Great scoop Claudia. The only thing I would add to the article is that the supervisor should ensure to request additional feedback from her/his direct reports, in addition to getting feedback from established organiazation channels like suggestion boxes, etc.

The reason this is so important is becuase direct report have great specific insight that can help the supervisor learn even more from the feedback.

Frrom the article:

Act on feedback – Highly engaged employees are enthused about their organization and believe they can positively influence its success. Acting on employee feedback and highlighting the impact employees make is a strong engagement builder. Be sure that all employees know how their colleagues’ suggestions or ideas are being implemented.

Regularly sharing results and requesting additional feedback creates predictable, consistent two-way communication that encourages employees to take ownership and understand their ideas are valued by the organization.

Communication is key, especially when it comes to giving feedback. Talking at people isn't as effective as taking the time to build a structure for relationships.

Understanding is a must, especially when it comes to building trust and engagement. Do your employees know what they need to do to be successful? Giving them adequate resources is a crucial part in ensuring top quality results from them. The article gives a good question to ask yourself:

“What is the most important thing these employees want to know, what is the best way to encourage dialogue and how would they be most comfortable sharing input?”

After taking the employees into consideration, think of good ways to get them to share their ideas. This will be an opening for formal[printed] and informal[a quick convo] feedback. The feedback should be respected by both parties, and should be responded to in a timely manner. This makes it so that the employee feels valued. After exchanging feedback, you should continue regularly sharing ideas. Communication is best when its two-way.

Leaders are constantly trying to give feedback to their team. It’s essential that your team know whether or not what they’re doing is correct. Thus feedback has to be given. But how often do you stop and welcome feedback as a leader?

AlGonzalezinfo's insight:

Excellent article on the realities of feedback, especially in the higher ranks of management.

From the article:

1. Ask for feedback: Ouch! This can hurt. When we ask for feedback, we’re asking for some pain.

Go to those on your team and in your community that you know will give you honest feedback. Don’t let them hold anything back. If they do, you’re not getting the whole story.

You may also want tot let those giving the feedback what areas you feel you’re struggling in. Ask them for suggestions on what you can do better.

Effective leaders often say they prefer to earn employees’ respect than to befriend them. The test comes when these bosses need to dish out criticism.

If you want to be liked by employees, you may muzzle your critical feedback for fear that they will take it the wrong way. It’s easier to keep quiet or drop in­­direct hints rather than come right out and say, “Let’s discuss how your performance needs to improve.”

Business owners often struggle when it comes to delivering critical feedback to an employee, especially when aspects of the employees performance, leave much to be desired.

Unfortunately, if a business owner or manager wants their critical feedback to be accepted by the employee, the feedback must be direct and not be delivered as hints or polite requests for certain changes to take place.

This good article, suggests employees need to be told upfront what exactly the relevant issue is, and it then suggests three steps to take to ensure that the critical feedback is received appropriately and the message sinks in in a way that will result in the requested outcomes.

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