I spend an inordinate amount of time gazing at my animals and wondering things about them.

Like: When they dream, and their feet and tails and ears twitch, what’s running through those little minds of theirs?

And: When he digs through his toy basket searching for just the right one, does he go into it with a specific toy in mind? Or is he assessing his options before deciding?

Also: When Coop perches on the highest spot in our yard and gazes out, does he think he’s surveying his kingdom? keeping watch? guarding the family? or maybe just chilling in the nice weather?

And, perhaps most importantly: Is my dog happy?

I want him to be happy. I want the cats to be happy. Of course, anyone who lives with an animal knows there are moments when you can see pure joy on your pet’s face. There are also moments when you see the opposite. But, in general, from day to day, I wonder: Is my dog happy?

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First Things First: The 5 Freedoms

Have you heard of “The Five Freedoms” in animal welfare? These are the international standards of animal care established in the UK in the 1960s. They are:

Though–in the U.S. at least–those have been subjected to wide and varied interpretation, the idea is that an animal kept by a human must be free from suffering.

Meeting that basic criteria, while vital to any pet’s well-being, won’t necessarily make an animal happy. Having those needs met is so important, and I’m assuming in this post that’s the foundation we’re all coming from. The five freedoms provide a pet with a lot: Comfort, yes. Safety, yes. Security, yes.

But what about happiness?

What makes a dog happy?

Cooper loves to chase a squeaky ball.

Like, loves.

If you squeak a ball anywhere in his hearing range, he runs at full speed, skids to a stop in front of you, and plops into a sit–mouth hanging open, tail swishing the floor. His muscles clench. He’s so ready. When you pull your arm back to throw, he tenses his whole body. Let the ball go and he’s off like a rocket. He chases it down, turns, and sprints back to drop the ball at your feet and wait–open mouth, tense body, swishing tail–for you to throw it again.

I can say, without doubt, that chasing a squeaky ball makes Cooper happy.

He doesn’t feel the same about chasing all toys or even all balls, for that matter. Toss a plain old yellow tennis ball, and he can take it or leave it. Throw a stuffed toy and he’ll chase it down, but then lay in the grass and rip it to shreds instead of bringing it back for another chase. (Ripping stuffies to shreds: another thing that makes Cooper happy.)

But chasing a squeaky ball doesn’t make all dogs happy.

If you threw a ball for Emmett at the height of his youth, for instance, he’d look up at you with eyes that said, “I don’t know why you did that because now you have to go get it.”

However, meeting new people, getting tons of attention, eating snacks… those things made Emmett happy.

When I come home–whether I’ve been gone five minutes or five days–I know Cooper is happy. He wags hard enough to thwack me hard enough to create a welt. He cries. He paws at me. He jumps on me. He licks my face. He curls his body into a C-shape and presses up against me while I hug and pat him.

When I get an ice cream out of the freezer, he does many of the same behaviors–wagging tail, whining, jumping up and down–though thankfully to a lesser degree… otherwise it might hurt my feelings! ha!

Same thing when he’s running. He’s relaxed and focused, enjoying the physical exertions.

I know lots and lots of things that make Cooper happy.

But when I think about people, I know there are lots and lots of things that can make even unhappy people happy, at least momentarily.

So, is my dog happy?

Assuming all your dogs’ basic needs are met and he’s not unwell, how can you tell if your dog is happy?

I’ll list a handful of signs your dog’s happy below, but here’s the thing: Most dogs, I believe, aren’t necessarily unhappy. If they’re not happy, they’re probably bored or scared. Boredom is more of a chronic condition, while fear is more acute.

This is a basic list, but here are five ways to tell if your dog is happy:

A loose body: This includes soft ears, soft eyes, and probably lots of wiggles.

A wagging tail: In fact, in the happiest moments, the tail can seem to wag your dog’s whole body! (Opposites to watch for: stiff or tucked tail.)

Good behavior: Dogs who suffer from boredom might find their own fun by, say, shredding the curtains or snacking on your shoes. (Note: This is different from separation anxiety, which is also an unhappy condition that needs a vet consultation.) Happy dogs exhibit fun, playful behavior, and engage with their people and other animal friends.

A healthy routine: Your dog sleeps and eats and bathrooms normally. He gets a good amount of physical and mental stimulation each day!

Physical contact: Your happy dog will find ways to touch you. Even dogs who don’t love cuddles as much will poke you with their nose, lead into your legs, touch your hand, and so on. A happy dog will seek out a bit of this contact to the degree that makes them happiest. (On the other hand, dogs who get excessive, unwarranted, or unliked contact–think clumsy hugs from toddlers–can be decidedly unhappy!)

I think about Cooper’s happiness often. I learned a ton about his actual mental state when I read What It’s Like to Be a Dog And Other Adventures in Animal Nueroscience, and it inspired me to think more about how to enrich his environment (i.e. our backyard for the upcoming summer) and to provide him with more thinking activities. I HIGHLY recommend that book to anyone who loves dogs. Or seals. Or marsupials.

And I throw his squeaky ball for him. A lot. Sometimes until my arm can’t lift the ball anymore! But it’s worth it to see his happy grin and loose, wagging body! For me, it’s super rewarding to see him relaxed and having fun–maybe because he is such a stress case?–but it makes ME happy to make HIM happy. Win-win!

How do you decide which books to buy versus which to borrow from the library?

If you know me, you know I want All. The. Books.

But that’s not practical or affordable, so I look at library books as novels or quick reads that I likely won’t reference again, and I buy books I plan to reference or reread. Of course, that system isn’t perfect. My house is full of novels and quick reads! 🙂 Also, I’m lucky to get review copies of forthcoming books at various points throughout the year.

So… All. The. Books!

Summer is a big reading period for me. The days are longer, so I can sit outside into the night turning pages. This year, my TBR–to be read–stack is full of dog-related books, so in case you’re looking for some summer reading inspiration, I wanted to pull together the five dog books topping my pile right now!

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5 Dog Books to Read This Summer:

This one isn’t exactly a dog book, but it does have a dog on the cover and deals wholeheartedly with our relationship with nature, dogs included. And she knows dogs. I heard Pam Houston talk about this book on the First Draft podcast, and I basically drove straight to Barnes and Noble to buy it. They didn’t have it, so straight home and Amazon! Here’s one of the reviews: “Deep Creek is a love letter to earth, animals, and the best of humanity.” Doesn’t that sound perfect? A dream book, really! In reading order, this is very next on my list, and I’m dying to dive right in.

I had this book on my Amazon Wish List for ages but felt intimidated by it. So, it languished on the list for a while. Then, earlier this month, an acquaintance struggled with some dog training stuff, and as I looked through my personal library I realized that it had been AGES since I undertook some self-study on Cooper’s behalf. So, I moved it from my Wish List to my cart, and it just arrived yesterday. This one will probably take me the whole summer to get through. It’s dense. Plus, I want to pay super close attention and take lots of notes, so this isn’t one I’ll read in one sitting like the rest. I’m curious: Have any of you worked through this? It’s the updated version that came out in 2016, but I haven’t found a ton of first-person experiences (there ARE a ton about version 1.0 but I’m wondering about the update). Anyway, I’m looking forward to learning from this text!

This is another interview I heard on an NPR podcast–I forget which one–and was so fascinated I immediately ordered the book. You may have heard about these studies, The Dog Project, where neurologists trained dogs to get into an MRI machine so that they could test all sorts of things like self-control and even to gauge whether or not our dogs love us. It’s done comparatively, so if the one part of the brain in a human is the same as one part of the brain in a dog, and if that same section of the brain serves the same function in both the dog and the human, they assume that the dogs’ experiences are similar to the humans’ experiences for that part of the brain. I’m probably not explaining it clearly, but the gist is that the research they did shed so much light on how dogs think and how they experience the world. And, there are HUGE implications for this, like how to work with dogs in shelters who are stressed or how to predict if a puppy will flunk out of service dog training before investing time and money in that dog. This is the book I’m in right now. I think I’m maybe a third of the way, and I highly recommend it to absolutely everyone.

Author Laura Coffey is the outgoing Vice President of the Dog Writers Association of America, and I’m the incoming VP. Our paths crossed at the event this past February in New York, and I was lucky enough to get a copy straight from the author. I’ve actually put this one off a bit because I know I’ll need a full box of tissues to get through this, but I’m ready for it this summer! The photography is stunning, and I’m a sucker for resilience stories. This one will be my read immediately after Deep Creek, and I really look forward to immersing myself in these beautiful stories.

The beach read on my list! I actually received this book as an Advanced Reader Copy before it came out, but it didn’t fit with anything I had in the works so I set it aside because I just knew it would be PERFECT for summer. The premise: a border collie wins the mayoral race in a down-and-out small town. It looks like a fun, light read perfect for poolside. I really appreciate easy page-turners for summer, and I just know this one will tick all those happy boxes.

Non-pet recommendations from my stacks:

If you’re looking for just a good novel, I recently finished Circe and OMG so good. I went back and put a hold on her first book immediately. Also, I downloaded this audiobook upon the recommendation of many, many readers for my drive to and from the Cat Writers’ Association meeting next week… you can get it free with this Audible trial, btw.

There you have it!

My 5 dog books to read this summer with a few extra novels thrown in for good measure! 🙂 I aim to read about three books per month, so I’m still looking for two more to round out my summer list. If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them in the comments!

Now, as a parent, I find myself having to choose between the “do as I say, not as I do” approach or sneaking all the cookies after Violet’s gone to bed… 😉

Honestly, though, I’m not sure a militant “no junk food” approach is the right one because how else with kiddos learn moderation and self-regulation? Nor do I think sugary stuff should be a free-for-all. This post, in fact, has me rethinking my take. Here’s the opening:

“Kids who regularly get to eat as much as they want of high-calorie, low-nutrient foods become as relaxed and casual about eating them as they do other food. They don’t go off the deep end and consume a lot of sweets, chips, and sodas when they become older school-age children and adolescents and can get it on their own. Instead, they continue to be relaxed, positive, and competent with eating junk food the same as other food.”

When it comes to our dogs, those little creatures whose teeth we don’t brush twice a day, less-is-more is an even bigger deal to me. It makes me insane to see sugar added to dog treats.

I’ve been tooling around with the idea of shareable treats, little snacks that kids + pets can enjoy together. It cuts down on my homemade-treat-making time, for one thing, but then I also know what they’re getting in their snacks!

Here’s my current favorite recipe with a caveat: If you consume lots of super-sweet snacks or beverages, this won’t satisfy that sweet tooth. This is a subtle sweet… sort of like swapping Diet Coke for La Croix!

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Peanut Butter Treats for Dogs + Kids

Ingredients:

1 cup whole wheat flour

½ cup natural, no-sugar-added applesauce

½ cup all-natural, no-salt-or-sugar-added peanut butter (if you avoid nuts, or if you kiddo can’t take stuff with nuts in it to school, try this instead… it’s pet-safe, too)

We talked to her about smelling things, as one does to a two-year old in spring, and John asked her, “What does Cooper smell like?”

She grinned.

“Cat poop!”

And then she laughed maniacally.

While I appreciate her developing sense of humor, I can assure you: Cooper does not smell like cat poop. In fact, we work to make sure our house doesn’t smell like animals at all, and that includes the litter boxes!

Baby jokes aside, no one wants to live in a house that smells like wet dog or cat or litter box or pet accident. Luckily, it’s not hard to keep your home odor-free.

In this post, I’m breaking down the basics on how to keep your house from smelling like dog AND how to eliminate pet odors as you go. Because they will happen. It’s part of the charm of our pets. 😉 Finally, I want to note that I’m focused on dog odors here. If anyone’s interested in cat odors or how we handle the litter boxes, let me know in the comments below!

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How to Keep Your House from Smelling Like Dog

Fresh air: This is first because I can’t overstate its importance. For one thing, if you live in a new or a new-ish house, they’re built so well as to be virtually air-tight. That’s great for saving energy but not so great for letting out stink and letting in fresh air. So, open a window whenever you can! Our house, btw, is super leaky and does not fall into that air-tight category. We still have a lot of work to do to fix those problems, but I still make a point to crack or open a window when I’m cleaning or when I start to smell a smell. If you do nothing else on this list, open a window. It’ll make a huge difference.

Filter: Keep your air as clean as possible with HEPA filters. HEPA stands for high-efficiency particulate air. It basically works by forcing air through super-fine mesh filters to trap tiny gunk like dander… and pollen, dust mites, smoke particles. So, make sure you buy HEPA filters for your furnace (we buy this kind). If possible, get a HEPA filter for your vacuum, too. Some vacuums allow you to swap filters, but if not, and if you’re in the market for a new vacuum, here’s my quick thought on that: Cheap is expensive in the long run. We’ve gone through more vacuums than I can remember. They’ve all burnt out, except for our Dyson Animal. (It’s like this one, but they actually don’t make our exact one anymore… ours pre-dated the roller ball thing.) We got in 2005, and it’s outlasted about half a dozen others. Expensive up front, yes, but the cost-per-year is totally reasonable. And it works super well for pet dander.

Easy-to-clean pet products: So many pet products now come with some kind of odor-resistant technology built in. The cat bed we featured in our 2018 holiday gift guide, for instance, has probiotic technology baked in to prevent odors. At the very least-though, any bedding should have a removable, machine-washable cover like this bed Cooper uses. (BTW, we got this bed ages and ages ago as a press sample when I wrote for a pet magazine, and it still looks basically brand new… back to my point that cheap is expensive in the long run!) And then, of course, wash bed covers, towels, and soft toys on a weekly basis. I do a load of Cooper’s laundry–bed covers, stuffies, towels–along with Ripley’s mice because they all just get smelly with daily use. Definitely don’t run out to buy replacement products unless you are in need of something. I’m never one to recommend buying something for the sake of buying it. However, when you are in the market, look for pet products with anti-microbial odor-resistant technology or at least easy-to-clean features!

Cover stuff: This sounds obvious, I guess, but someone recently mentioned the smell their couch picked up from their dog. “Do you have a quilt or something on your couch?” I asked. Nope. OK, here’s the thing: No one wants their furniture obscured by ugly sheets or drop cloths. However, your couch, unless it’s slipcovered, isn’t easily washed. So, get some blankets that fit your decor, things you actually like, and put them down on your sofa as a pretty throw. Encourage your pup to sleep there instead of on the cushions. Coop and the cats all prefer to be on a blanket, so we have one draped on the couch, the arm chair, and the chaise in our bedroom where Coop sleeps at night. All of those things can be picked up on Saturday morning and put through the washing machine. I also have a cargo liner (this one) for my car for the same reason.

Baking soda and vinegar, your two new best friends: OK, not even kidding, but I buy these two ingredients in bulk. Your house will never smell like pet odors again if you keep baking soda and vinegar on hand! I can clean my entire house top to bottom with those two and save a ton of money, while being gentler on the planet. Plus, they’re both beasts at eliminating dog odors. I have manufactured-wood floors and scrub them with vinegar. The smell dissipates after a few minutes (less if you have the windows open) leaving behind a smell of… nothing. No smell. No pet odors, no chemical cleaning product odors, no nothing. Just air. As for baking soda, everyone already knows it absorbs odors from the air, but did you know you can use it on your dog like a dry shampoo? When you groom your pup (see tip 6 below), sprinkle some onto his fur to absorb gross smells, then brush out. OK, two more quick tips:

Vinegar tip: I know this tip won’t be for everyone, but I swear by it so have to share: Stop using fabric softener and dryer sheets (they’re a fire hazard, bad for the environment, filled with toxins, pick your reason why) and start adding vinegar to the fabric softener component of your washing machine. Pet odors will disappear. As will gym odors, baby odors, and front-loading washer odors.

Baking soda tip: If you have carpet or area rugs, get ready to take your dog on a super-long walk followed by a thorough outdoor groom! BUT! Before you go, sprinkle a thick coating of baking soda into your carpet. Work it in with a brush. Then, head out for the walk + groom. When you come back, vacuum it all up and breathe in the fresh, odor-free air. (Again, bonus if you can leave your windows open through this process.)

Groom your dog: Confession: I’m not as consistent as I should be with this because Cooper hates it, and I feel bad making him so miserable. But giving your dog–breed dependent, of course–a thorough brushing outdoors can eliminate a ton of indoor odor. Then, a bath–breed dependent, too–gets out the rest of the reek. Bonus points: Follow the bath up with an ACV rinse to have a fresh, clean, happy pup!

Clean accidents immediately: It might not always be possible, like if your pup pukes while you’re at work or something, but the quicker you catch an accident, the better you contain the smell. (Not to mention preventing stains.) Use enzymatic cleaners to prevent marking, of course, and spend some time getting to the root of the problem. Is your dog really, truly, fully house trained? Is there an underlying infection or belly problem? Unless you solve the problem that causes your dog to poop or pee in the house, you’ll never be fully odor-free… (That said, I totally get the occasional freak accident, puke, etc., but still. Figure out why your dog goes inside and work on that.)

No One Wants a Home That Smells Like Dog

Even if you’re a Crazy Dog Lady through and through, like I am, you still don’t want a stinky house. No one wants that. And the thing is, it doesn’t take much effort. The trick is being consistent and staying on top of it.

A final note on essential oils and pet care: I’m sure many of you are wondering about this piece. Lots and lots of people advise diffusing oils to eliminate odors. Many essential oils are safe for pets. Many aren’t. I’m not qualified to speak on this, not in the slightest. That said, we do have an oil diffuser, but I do not use it to eliminate pet odors. Period. Plus, all the oils we have–maybe six in total–have been thoroughly researched and shown to be safe to diffuse with both dogs and cats in the home. I wanted to address that up front and just caution you: You do you, but do it safely with lots of due diligence.

I’d love to hear from you: How do you keep your pet-loving home odor-free? What tips and tricks do you use to keep that wet dog smell or dander smell or whatever out of your home?

And, at night, when I settle in bed with my book to unwind after the usually-long day, he climbs under the covers (yes, all the way) and rests his chin on my ankles… a solid, reliable pressure that marks the end of the day.

He’s the absolute best.

He’s also the absolute worst.

He barks at every noise, real or imagined. He lurches and lunges at the end of the leash when we spot a dog at the end of the block. He cowers in the corner, shaking like a leaf, whenever we go somewhere, anywhere. He keeps his head on a swivel at the park, his body tense, his tail tucked. When we spot a dog–or, depending on his mood, even just a kindly stranger–we step off the trail or off the sidewalk and dole out treats, or if for whatever reason we think/know the treats won’t work this time, we cross the street, U-turn, duck between houses, or sprint off in the opposite direction–whatever keeps him calm(er) and feeling safe(er).

It’s exhausting.

But it’s also rewarding beyond anything I could imagine. When he makes a good decision or when he looks at me for direction, my heart soars.

And then he goes ballistic at a passing bicycle and I plummet back down to earth. You guys should’ve seen the day a hot air balloon went overhead…

I’ve sustained back and shoulder injuries managing him on leash. And, yet, at the end of the day, when he places his chin on my ankle, all’s right with the world.

I only wish other people could understand this about him, this dichotomy of being the absolute best dog in the entire world and his fear. It makes me sad that people don’t know the real him, the sweet, patient, pupper to a toddler and my best friend. So, I thought I’d share some of my thoughts about loving a reactive dog.

5 things I wish you knew about my reactive dog:

We are always on high alert.

Which can get exhausting. Every time I read anything about time management or productivity or burnout or whatever, one piece of oft-repeated advice is this: Take your dog for a nice stroll to clear your head! And I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. Because here’s the thing: When you have a reactive dog, there is literally no such thing as a nice stroll. Unless you go in the pouring rain. Or at midnight. You are constantly surveying your surroundings, watching for people or dogs or bikes or whatever triggers your dog has. You are constantly rerouting when you spot one of those on the horizon. Even when you’re in flow–you’re walking in a quiet spot without any other foot traffic–there’s always in the back of your mind the possibility of something happening, so you remain vigilant. Which brings me to…

Your “friendly” off-leash dog is our worst nightmare.

Responsibility is a two-way street. End of story. Those of us with reactive dogs choose to take our dogs to parks and trails that require leashes. We pick places carefully, places without too many blind corners or places with a clear escape route. Why? An approaching off-leash dog truly is our worst nightmare, especially if the dog’s owner is waaayyyyyy off in the distance. You yelling, “He’s friendly!” from a mile away is literally the. worst. Put your dog on leash or go somewhere that allows off-leash dogs.

We’re doing our best.

Your judgement doesn’t help. It’s like the parent with the trantruming toddler in the supermarket… We don’t want to be dealing with this either, Sir. Your glares don’t help the situation. Really, though, with a reactive dog, we are all doing our best. Sometimes our best isn’t good enough. Sometimes all the training and management and planning just falls apart. Your dog is having a bad day. You encounter a scenario way scarier than your dog can handle. Or, you’ve just passed too many dogs/bikes/strollers/strangers for your dog to be able to withstand one more and that’s when he loses it. I can assure you, a smidge of compassion goes a long way here. A smile or a nod. Moving your dog/bike/stroller/yourself away. Whatever. Compassion over judgement, always.

Yes, he’s “trained.”

Speaking of compassion over judgement… it’s likely your suggestion of, “You need a dog trainer,” will fall on deaf ears. Why? Reactive dogs are generally far more trained than “typical” dogs. We take every class under the sun. Cooper probably knows more than most dogs, and he’s certainly spent more hours in training than the usual basic-obedience-for-puppies class that most owners take. He’s taken two obedience classes, agility classes, 1:1 agility, trick training, and two reactive dog classes, plus many hours with a trainer we really liked doing 1:1 sessions. Our dearly departed Lucas took about 5x that number of classes–he was just a bigger liability than Coop, tbh–and was impeccably trained. Training can’t mitigate fear or a fear-based reaction. It can help. Big-time. With Lucas, especially, it took about five years, but he eventually was able to “watch me” to walk past a scary scenario. In a familiar park. When we had a clearly-defined escape route. And the other dog was on leash. But he could do it. Reactive dogs tend to be super-well-trained dogs because of those liability issues, but training won’t always solve fear.

We love our dogs, quirks and all.

Someone once told me, “I would never have two dogs I couldn’t walk together,” referring to Lucas and Cooper. It broke my heart. I couldn’t have ever imagined not having either one of them. Yes, it took tons of extra effort to do two walks per day (Emmett, of course, could always go with either one of them, and if if they were acting like crazed maniacs, he’s just be happily sniffing the ground in seach of errant chicken bones or sandwiches). I love Cooper to pieces. He’s my little baby. He’s my friend. He’s Violet’s bestie. He loves wholeheartedly. When people come over, he can’t get close enough, usually planting his 50 pounds securely in his friends’ laps. We reactive dog people love our dogs because we see them. We see them for who they really, despite and because of their unique struggles. We love our relationship, and we love the deep, heartfelt returns we get from working with a struggling dog.

It’s certainly not easy to love a reactive dog, but it’s so worthwhile and brings unparalleled levels of pride and joy as you get to watch them overcome life’s hurdles. I always think of the responsibility of having, loving,and working with a reactive dog when I hear the quote:

“Saving one dog will not change the world, but surely for that one dog, the world will change forever.” ? Karen Davison

It’s my goal with my reactive dog to change his world forever, for the better.

If you love a reactive dog, what do you wish people understood about you and your pup? What do you wish you could share about your reactive pup?