Okay, after last week’s episode I really just want to set Fab’s balls on fire! but since I would get arrested for such an attempt, I will just say that he is not a real man. Not much else I can say…ready for this week’s episode. Oh Yeh, Olivia’s manager…. he’s still a bitch! Let these people talk. GROW THE FUCK UP! Okay…showtime.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #MyMicSoundsNice Check 2

So, I was soooooo shocked when I found out that this was the Finale?!!!! Didnt I JUST start dogging this show out a few weeks ago? Isn’t SOmaya still a no name wannabe? Olivia a scared cling-on who sings beautifully? Emily the main side chick to Fab? Chrissy the headstrong rich in-house wifey?

Okay, Mama Jones…..sitcho (yes, sitcho) Frankie-looking behind back, no disrespect….let this man live his life. And did Mama Jones just say that Chrissy didn’t know how to be family “orien-tated”? Families have orientations now?

I simply LOVE Chrissy’s red shoes!!!!!!!! Her style is on point at times.

Okay… Jim needs to teach a class on how to treat your woman. This walk and hotel room is gorgeous and sexy!

And I know that I don’t know everything that is going on in their relationship…..btu from the snippet of what I see, this man is showing you the way that HE loves you. Not the way you want him to love you, but the way that he KNOWS how to love. The ONLY time you should complain is if he isn’t loving you the way you NEED to be loved. Wanting and Needing him to love you a certain way are two totally different things. Pick your battles.

Okay, I am all for a strong black woman, but Chrissy is making it hard for the rest of us. Honey, you never give a man an ultimatum. I repeat, you NEVER give a man an ultimatum!!!!! You played your hand and gave him the power when you stepped out of your role and proposed to him. If he wasnt moving at your pace….take a break and if he wants you…he will find you. BUT I SWEAR IF I SEE YOU IN THE STREET I AM PUNCHING YOU IN THE THROAT!!!!!! Strong women dont propose to a man! WHERE FUCK DO THEY DO THAT AT?!!!!! We are strong enough to make the man come to us, and if the one we want doesnt come, move on to the next one. If he doesnt know if he wants to marry you after 6 years, then nothing you can say will make him marry you in another two if he doesnt damn well please. OH MY BLOOD IS BOILING BECAUSE OF THIS!

Ummmmm, Mashonda seems to smile every time that Emily comes and tells her that her relationship with Fab is shaky. I am not saying she is happy to hear the news, but she does have this subtle grin on her face. If I’m lying…replay the tape. Maybe it is just the way her face is, either way…a smile/smirk is on her face.

What is up with Somaya and this pleather, pink crop jacket? That jacket is so small that it looks like her breasts are being smothered by a pack of fruity Bubbalicious bubble gum. And I wish that Somaya would stop hyping Jim Jones like that. See how yall gas people up. You were NOT gonna get mirked on television while the cameras were on. Point. Blank. Period. So please, stop testing my intelligence with your television thug act. If he wanted to mirk you because he was a REAL thug, fuck a camera….he would be behind bars right now. End of story. So, not that we have all of this phony bullshit out of the way… NEXT! *Proceeds to buy Somaya clothes that fit her*

I am still laughing on the inside that Mama Jones is rocking a shirt that says, ” Idaho?” lmao! REALLY?!!!! She wants Chrissy to give Jim a baby? Tell that negro to marry her and she will give him a baby. That’s how I see it. So until your son is ready to make it official so that his child wont be a bastard child….you wont get a grandchild.

I need to have a sleepover at my house with my girls. I mean, damn! This sleepover should have been called Breast Fest.But I find it hilarious that Chrissy is in a onesie with the footies…lls. And wait….did Emily just say that she thought that most of Fab’s songs were about her? Which one? PLEASE LET ME KNOW so I can go back and analyze.

Wait…that’s it?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My conclusion on the entire season? Ummmm, I am just as confused now as I was when I first started watching. I want our celebs to do better for themselves. They have been allotted the opportunity to have a better life than most and they are still behaving as if they live in the projects and push a hood-rich decked-out Honda. I expect more. I feel like they are wasting what they have. Again, I say they are nothing but glorified niggers. You will only make me change my opinion when they change their behavior. Not asking them to be role models, but I am asking them to do better for themselves. I have a feeling that they will be back for a second season. By then, I pray that these women will learn to step their self-esteems up a notch to the point where they wont have to wait on a man, cling to a group, complain about a man, and claim to be more than what they are. I pray that some things happen in the meantime. I know it wont be worth entertainment for them to improve themselves, but I do pray for them to improve.

Okay, you all should already know that I am on pins and needles to write about this show. Today has proven to be a good day in the first place. First…. I freed up some space in my daily planner, watched some people act unprofessional in the wake of that decision…and then I purchased a Nook. Yes, a Nook! Forget the ignant (yes, ignant) sons of bitches in the day…the Nook took the cake. And then I hosted a poetry open mic that had the best audience ever!!! I mean, I have been blessed with the best audiences lately…but I digress.

Okay… too much excitement going on in the course of my day to recap you, so you will have to click the links above. Let’s get to the goods!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #Proposal

So, I must confess in my rather sober state….Chrissy is slowly growing on me. But dont repeat it. This is between you and I…okay.

DAMN!!!!! Mama Jones’ face just hit the floor with that proposal. If I could film Nancy’s face…. I would sell it on eBay. Awwwwwww but Jim said yeh!!!! Awwww, my heart goes out to him and Chrissy. He is such a man’s man. And yes…. I agree with Chrissy, “what the fuck does ‘I’m witchu’ mean?” Jimmy… you didn’t say yes you will marry her. But I disagree with Chrissy, I will wait for my guy to propose to me. I’ll never propose to a guy.

And why is it that Nancy is punking everyone? How come no one can hold her back? She weighs all of 2 nuts sacks and a crack pipe…but no one can control or block her? LMAO!!! That was just funny to watch. And Nancy, with all due respect…parents arent always told, they are sometimes surprised like everyone else. And the only time the parents are told is if the son is asking for the daughter’s hand in marriage. This is unconventional, hence the unconventional method of not telling the parent.

LMAO! Jimmy said “I’m still here. My clothes are still upstairs” lmao! I like the way he thinks. He put Chrissy’s complaining in perspective. And then…. CHRISSY!!!!! Chrissy, boo, don’t give a man an ultimatum. YOU proposed to HIM!!! If he would have said no in front of everyone you would have been hurt and embarrassed. So he saved face and then you need to wait and give him time to accept what you placed on his table. Dont rush it now.

Now….First off, last time we heard Somaya’s song, it wasnt finished…and now she somehow found the money to do a video? Who is funding this? Not to be all up in her purse straps like that, but is she still sleeping in the loft above the studio? And wow… Emily just can’t get enough of the drama…. I would have stayed away from Somaya. Point. Blank. Period. And yeh, this whole entire going on the internet to start a beef. Be the bigger woman, take the higher road and let the shit be. I hate simple-minded females who wont accept that they were wrong, and they get a whole bunch of other simple minded females to back them up. Grow up!!!!! That’s about a stupid as people writing subliminal Facebook statuses about people they are mad about…lol. When you are right, you live with that. You let the hater shit roll off your back and you keep it going. Only basic bitches harbor on that stuff. It is quite comical if you ask me. But…..I digress.

And JIM AND THIS NEW SONG…… PRICELESS!!! This song about Chrissy is amazing!!! And the way that Jim confesses his love on National TV…. I continue to applaud him for being a man. I can not say that enough.

Wow!!! Fabolous didn’t even want to be in the family portrait with them just because the cameras were going to be around. And I am not going to talk about anyone’s kid…but her son is in need of a time out. And Fab didn’t even pick up the phone when she called? Wow….. I want to sympathize with her because her home life isn’t the prettiest…or at least that is how it is portrayed…but I have a problem with women who just wont get up and leave. Not to compare, but I will….Jim kisses, loves, and confesses his love for Chrissy in damn near EVERY episode of this show. His boys may pick on him, Olivia may joke, but that doesn’t make Jim any less of a man. Hell, it makes him sexy as hell and a model for what real men should do when they are in love. So, if Fab loves Emily… why can’t he step out into the light and claim his family? I really have a problem with this Skeletor looking motherfucker right now. I will send prayers of strength out to Emily, because no one deserves to be treated like that. She better start raising her Kelly Pitts emergency funds.

Okay, so I know that Rich is upset….but for a man to go off on a woman for ANY reason….you are not a man. Again….Rich, with your trying to be hard as hell bullshit….let it go. You are feeding into this. The fact that you are getting upset about a no name wanna be rapper is proving that she has the power to get under your skin. POW! She wins!!! Grow the fuck up. Again, this mess drives me nuts. Punk asses! Yeh… I said it, let the shit go. And I’m done.

Okay, so I am sitting here with my diva @Shinin_Light and I am introducing her to this show… yes, I can’t watch this by myself. I would love to hear what she has to say about this. Comedy is in my near future.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,2 #MyMicSoundsNice check 2

Oh Lord…..Jim Jones can’t take care of the dog, House? Dont Mike Vic the dog!!!. And yeh… House is a huge ass dog. Ewwwwwww! House pooped inside of the store and Jim didn’t clean it up. Yuck!! Chrissy, you are a better woman than I could ever be on that on. I would have told him to clean his poo up. *bad taste in my mouth*

I love how Oliva tested my intelligence and thought that she had to define “listening party”. Ok, so she said that it is for the purpose of getting to know the “real” Olivia. I am glad that something is going to let us get to know her…. because so far all I have seen is who Olivia can morph into whenever a new crew comes around. And like her manager Rich said….”Wal-Mart is accepting apps”….should she not know how to stay out of mess and focus more on her music.

Okay, so, you [Chrissy] have been with Jim Jones for 6 years, but your man has not proposed to you so you feel like you have to step up? That man is one of the manliest(sp) men I know….and you will take that role away from him? And I mean, really, Chrissy… you sat there and you listened to Olivia as to what to do about this? This is the same bitch that lied about dating another man? Oh Lord… please don’t ever let me be that desperate enough to ever feel like I have to ask a man to marry me. *Sigh* I am not the biggest Chrissy fan, but my inner feminist is screaming “Bitch, you better not”. THIS is why men say you better not talk to your single friends about shit. Even @shinin_light just said that Chrissy went to Olivia because she knew that she would say what she wanted to hear, and that was a yes. Sad…lol. Please don’t go through with it.

*Takes a drink of my alcohol* I had to drink to watch this week. *@shinin_light pours Moscato*

First off… Chrissy can’t keep her balance….lol. Second,this is funny as shit! But really? You are thinking of performing a burlesque routine in front of Jim Jones’ FAMILY?!!!! And then you picked out the ring too? Wow….. this ring is gorgeous. But of course the jeweler would tell her that “men need a push to get things done”. Girl, he just wants your money, all $12K of it.

Now, Olivia, honey… really? I can’t even comment on this. You are holding grudges over bullshit. THIS is why it appears that you don’t have any friends. Just hear the girl [Emily] out and then tell her to not do it again. I mean, didn’t you JUST make it into this click? But at least you can sing…because you can sing yourself all the way to the bank….but you need to let all of the negativity go. Take it from me, your personality will preceed you. Now, if your boob falls out of that halter dress… I am posting that pic. lol. Oh snap… Tocora was in the audience. Cool.

Ummmm.. Olivia, you said “funest”? Really? Hmmmm… Hooked on Stupid, worked for me.

And I thought that my breasts were huge…but I think Chrissy may have me beat! lol. You better work it for the Big Titty Committee, diva!!!!

WOW!!!! Was Chrissy really thinking of dancing in just the lace outfit? I am glad that she is going against doing the burlesque side of it. Yeh, diva… YOU deserve better….fuck Jim… you deserve to be taken seriously…lol. But you also deserve a man who will not hesitate for one second when it comes to asking you to marry him. I know I clown you out in all of my blogs, but I seriously want every woman to stand their ground and never have to propose to a man. Remember, men so what they want to do while women do what they must. If he hasnt done it… he wasnt ready; end of story. *Sigh* I have so much to say on that, but wont. Just know that every time a woman proposes to a man, a hoodrat gets its cheese.

LMAO!!! Mama Jones is a trip! And the way that Olivia tried to shut her up with the wine . But wow… .I hate how they cut off the proposal. Did Jim say yes? What is going on!!! Okay… I didnt get to clown on this episode as hard as I would like. In the famous words of Hancock, “I’ve been drinking, bitch” hahahaha. But I am proud of Chrissy for sticking to her guns and doing it in a classy manner. That much I do approve of. But Lawd knows that I cant wait til next week. Hmmmm…..And Scene.

Wowzers! Did Swizz Beats and Alicia Keys approve their photos being shown on this show? Wowzers. I mean , I understand the significance of it being there…but come on. Get approval.

Adriene…hmmmmm…chick on Fab’s label? Fab has a label? You learn something new every day…lol. Wow, Emily…honey. Wait.. Fab’s name is John.. or did she say Sean? I need to do my research. I mean, really? Honey… if your man can’t claim you, no matter his career… then he doesn’t care about you. Jim claims Chrissy and that shit is sexy as fuck! This erotic poem Emily is about to do in Chrissy’s closet better not suck!! Y’all know that I am a poet!

*Blank Stare*

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! But if your sex game is as horrible as how you read/wrote that poem, then I see why Fab doesn’t claim you. lmao!

Wow, I am feeling Olivia’s song December and since that is my birth month, I was going to clown her, and clown her HARD if it came across horrible. Wow… I may have to Google some old Olivia songs, because I don’t remember her having pipes like that. But at least I don’t have to jump on her like I did Somaya. EXACTLY! Just like the manager said…..no one knew that she could sing. And yes, I take my fidora off for her. Brava, diva! If you find a group of positive people around you who will hold you up and will not put you in stupidity and you will shine. Boo, I’m not gonna call you stupid, but I can say that you are not acting smart.

WOW!!! Mashonda‘s house looks horrible!!! Wow! It looks like Hurricane Katrina made a house call and stayed for a while. I mean, does she still stay there? And yeh, how could Swizz let the mother of his child, and possibly the child, stay in a place like this? Ewww. But what I don’t like is that when someone’s life goes horrible, they try to tell everyone else that it wont last for them. No,honey… it didn’t work for you. But you can tell people how to prepare and learn from your mistakes, but you don’t indirectly tell them that they will wind up where you are. I feel horrible for Mashonda, but I still want Emily to sit her ass down.

Okay, speaking of Emily…DAMN @ HER ASS!!! Her ass has its own zip code! Okay, JEALOUS!!! But what I am NOT jealous of is her inability for her to think for her self and seeing a set-up coming. damn this bitch bothers me.

Hmmm.. Power of the P , I would probably need to hear this entire show in order to get a better feel of it. But I really do want a T-Shirt. Umm…okay, as a poet, I give EMily applause for getting on stage and performing. I will have to listen to it again to do more than just applaud the effort. I don’t like the bitch THAT much.

Okay, so Chrissy & Somaya are cool now? And now…..I spoke too soon. Olivia , honey….I don’t remember you ever fighting anyone in your G-Unit days. And you need to make up your mind about how you feel about G-Unit. Because last episode you jokes on them and now you are holding them down because you want to be a thug. I dont get it. Just be Olivia. Stop running to G-Unit when it suffices, and stop clinging to Jim when it pleases. It makes you look like the 2nd string cool kid who no one really claims but you always manage to be around.

Ummm… can someone please teach Chrissy how to sit like a lady b/c she is one jump away from having a Brittany Spears/Paris Hilton flash moment. But I am all ready to BUST Olivia in her face now. I mean, really Olivia? Stop running. You are such a thug…stand there and have it out and if it pops off, then it pops off. But that is just my opinion.

So… I have to give applause where applause is due… last week’s episode was very entertaining. Coonish, but entertaining. Who wants to be rich if you are still surrounded by glorified hoodrats and insecure chicks? I’m just saying. Nothing about these women scream classy, refined, intelligent, and they may very well be all of these things, but we don’t see it. And I know, the television company picks and chooses what they want to show, but if this ignorance wasnt presented to the cameras then it would not be there. Yes, you have more money than me, and yes, you get to go places that I currently can’t go… but in all honesty, I’d rather stay my happy ass here than to have to deal with that foolishness. To what level of coon is one willing to reach in order to put money in their pocket?

I have to admit, I didn’t know who ANY of these women were ( with the exception of Mashonda and Olivia) before this damn show. I wouldn’t even be watching the show if I didn’t think that I could poke fun at high-priced niggas. I’d rather be watching the History Channel or watching another medical mystery be revealed on the Discovery Channel; something, anything, that would keep my brain cells active. I just need our people to do better. I need for Chrissy to stop jumping the gun and know her place, and it isn’t in 79% of the places where she thinks it is. I need Olivia to get better friends and stop becoming apart of these clicks; first G-Unit and now this? I need for Emily to….ugh… I can’t stand weak women….just get some self-esteem. I need for Somaya to get a hearing aid, listen to her music and be real with herself. Honey…unless I am deaf…you cant rap. Now, having said all of that. There is SOMETHING that all of these women are good at. I want them to cultivate that instead of head snaps, yo mama jokes, and ass flashing. Okay….enough of my rant.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #MyMicSoundsNice , Check 2

As I watch this fight go on, all I can see is Somaya’s interview snippets and think “this is how Nicki Minaj would look if she gained weight.” I mean wow… how fucked up to be stuck on a boat when you are arguing with someone. And THEN Olivia has to go out and pass gossip on to Chrissy. I mean, saying that Dip Set is your fam…..REWIND!!! Didn’t the first episode showcase Chrissy saying that she JUST met Olivia? Now two episodes later they are your FAM? Come on now! I’m calling your ass out! Jim Jones is as much of your fam as Reavis is your man.

And it just irks my fucking nerves to see Emily playing all hard. But again, I guess you have to bring your miserable ass company when your home isn’t up to parr.

WAIT FOR IT!!!!!!! JIM!!!! Okay, so who is the dude with the blurred out face? I mean really….this shit is straight staged!!! Jim knew that the cameras would be there. He knew that shit and went to look hard. If the cameras weren’t gonna be there then it would have been some “let that nigga talk” tip. And Olivia needs to keep G-Unit out of her mouth, because I don’t even want to switch over to Twitter to see what 50Cent is about to say about her after that comment. *Ugh* Rich niggas. This aint nothing but Willie Lynch’s masturbation theme music. Yes, I said it. Dance, niggas, dance!! Show the world that you get in your feelings because someone said you make way less than what you make. If it isn’t true, let the nigga talk, get your game up and then hit Forbes top 10. Get ya game up, go buy the nigga a car, free of charge, and tell them to take that to the bank …or how about you be an adult and just let the nigga talk!!! I am really getting upset at this high school bullshit!

MESSAGE: Jim, I KNOW you have more common sense than what you have displayed here. Who is Maurice to you? NOBODY!!! I didn’t know the nigga existed until this show. Do you REALLY think that people were going to take his word over what we “think” we know of you? We own your albums! We watch your videos! We see your live performance! We flock the clubs for your appearances!! Is this NOT enough to show you that if ten thousand of us show up with $1 that you at LEAST made that, but since clubs cost $20 on average to get in and sometimes $60 to $100 when a celeb shows up, then common fucking sense would tell you that you make MORE than $10k in an hour?!!!!! So you risked your career all in the name of your hood credit, your street rep all over a no-named oompaloompa?! Come on! Be a man!! Fuck all this hood shit! You put in all this hard work to get OUT of the hood, to live a better life and to provide for your family. Why the fuck are you bringing the hood along with you?! You DO NOT owe the hood, Jim!!!!! So from me to you, grow the fuck up! And if you want to come find me… come find me and we can talk… put 50 on it… you wont Maurice me, that much I know. I just need you to do better! I pray that you do better!

Ummmmmm did he just call Chrissy his WIFE? Really? If that is your wife, WIFE her. And I need Olivia to put on a bra. Saggy titties aint cute. Just like Olivia sitting there trying to talk all hard and talk up Jim Jones. Chrissy… You can come find me and we can talk this shit out too. I am @_2Deep_ on Twitter…just let me know when you want to talk. I TOO can upgrade you if you would get your mind right. Honey….there is more to this life than this foolishness that you are displaying on this screen. People are laughing AT you and Jim and not with you. You want to know why? Men of power don’t have to go do the dirty work….they let it roll or have goons who do it for them.

I feel like I am preaching to a deaf choir.

And now this bitchass Maurice is trying to make Somaya feel bad. Stupid, YOU were the one who said that Jim Jones only made $10k a year. If YOU didn’t say that then Jim wouldn’t have to come and hem you up! So YOU, yes, YOU MAURICE….you need to learn how to keep your mouth closed.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! XO!!!!! Where is this negro from? Does he have a brother? Hot damn!!! Yummy!!! From his voice, to his look, to his height, to his….damn!! *sigh* Too bad I gave up on dudes. But if I ever came back…. I would be out in Cali looking for XO…lmo. These are just jokes! But, in all honesty….this side of Somaya, with XO, is a side of her brand that she needs to work with further. It is a softer side that the rap industry is missing. All of the females that come in feel they must compete with the dudes, and yes…they do ( kind of)….but there needs to be some feminine energy there as well.

Okay, sooooooo XO is from The Game’s record label? So, she went from Jim Jones’ goons to 50Cent’s flunky? Wowzers! But I really do love his voice, I just think that his lyrical content could come a littler harder. But, for the snippet that I saw…. it may work.

Now, next week’s episode. SMH. I have too much to say to write it in this one. Just know that I will be here writing next week!

Okay, sooooo I am running soooo late!!! I had to host tonight and Eboni is here in my room with me about to watch the Season Finale of The Game at 1am. Yes, DVR it is… and I have not looked at Twitter or Facebook the entire night because I didn’t want to have to kill anyone for spoiling it for me.

I could speculate, but I wont. I just want to watch the show and hope that it leaves enough suspense to get me to come back next season but closes up enough information that leaves me satisfied for this season. All I want to know is ….who is the mystery person they have been showing on the commercials? Hmmm.. .okay, enough questions.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, …. #GameOn , Bitches!

Okay, so I happened to watch the episode beginning that i missed last week while @abmoore20 was here. Wow… Mario Van Peebles’ body looks good as hell. But his explanation of his disease *side eye*. But…..on to the Finale.

Okay, why is this my FIRST time hearing the football players collide on the intro? Man, I’ve been slipping. But…the opening with Melanie & Derwin talking baby talk again….I just want to watch this on fast forward. I mean…. can we get the pacing of a scene correct. It started off so slow. It didn’t take all that time to place “Loving You” in the background and get out a few words. *sigh* okay….next.

Soooooo I am sooooo confused. Tasha is making her situation with Bo seem like she was with him for months. Can we please not test the intelligence level of my willing suspense of disbelief. You found him, dated him, and killed him all in one episode. Now she is talking about him like Bo was the love of her life. *See this face……..*tilted smirk* WAIT!!!!

Did Bo just walk up to Tasha…wait….this is a set-up! I called it in the last episode!!!! This negro isn’t dying!!!! His name is Ronnie?! But you can’t make me believe that TASHA DIDNT KIRK OUT!!! Hell to the nawl!!!! He wouldn’t have gotten away with it that easily… again… don’t test my intelligence.

Okay, isnt this the SAME exact studio where they opened the season with the Derwin/Melanie Essence photo shoot? They couldn’t afford another backdrop? Didnt these bitches know that I would be watching? And yes, I know that this was filmed ages ago, but they should know that assholes like me exist. hahahahah Malik set up a fake ass photo shoot just to get Jenna back? WOWZERS!!! Okay.. Hosea… my address is 2504 I Saw Your Nude Pics Ave. Now, can you set up a fake photo shoot for me too? I’ll wait. Nothing says lovin’ like stalking a bitch via a fake photo shoot that you paid for. lol

WHO IS THIS DUDE?!!!!!!!!!!! The new QB, Kirkland, for the Sabers….*licks lips*…..*exhales* I will press rewind to get his name. Now, if you will make him a permanent member of this cast, then you can make each episode as slow as hell and I could care less.

Umm… this fight between Melanie and Tasha is bordering hilarious. I can’t focus. Hell, even Eboni just said she can’t focus on the scene because she can see both of their bras through their shirts……sad. I swear I am trying to get it, but I can’t. It is so contrived. Yes, I get it…. you want your man to be represented. And yes, there was a better way for her to ask Tasha….but really. To get all upset with your girl when a negro faked his own death , kids, and marriage and you didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow? Get the fuck out of here. What about not sweating the small stuff. Hell, I was going to sweat the small stuff and ask why is the season finale only 30 minutes, but I don’t know if I could take more than this. *sigh*. Okay…. they at least get to come back next season and fix it.

SNAP!!! If i were a Lesbian, I am pretty sure that the looks I just gave Stacy Dash could be constituted as distant rape. It makes no sense for a woman her age to look 10 times better than me. WAIT!! It’s not fair for Stacy to get the new dude!!! *Sigh* I don’t know who to stalk first… Stacy or Kirkland.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Jenna didn’t go back on the crack.

Wait… I am soooooo uncomfortable knowing that Derwin brought his own sexual stimulants to a birth clinic. OH MY GOD!!!!! Melanie had an abortion?!!! Was it Troy, Trevor…shit the dude she slept with after she broke up with Derwin!! You know, the football dude’s baby. The one in last season who told her that he would pay for her tuition. I don’t think that it was Derwin’s Baby.

Conclusion: Ummmmm. Whack way to end the season. I mean, stuff was left dangling, the episode moved so slowly and it was too dramatic. I had to rewind the show twice to catch that the ONLY way Derwin was able to tell that Melanie had an abortion was because she said “definitely”. Had Tasha not called her “definitely” lying phrase out in the scene before, I would have never caught it. Oh wait…. maybe it was Eggs’ baby…you know, Mehcad Brooks from True Blood. *Sighs* soooo many options. But I don’t like the way the abortion came up. It wasnt there EVER!!! Dont spring a secret on me in the same episode. The actor should react a certain way to babies and other things if this is in fact her back story. I am not happy with the conclusion of the Jenna/Malik storyline. Okay, so Tasha is not doing any better. *sigh* The only person who was consistent throughout the entire season was Jason/Colby. Okay….. Writers, please go spend some time together, watch the previous seasons, and study them.We want that believability back. We want the comedy back. We want the charisma back. I have no clue what happened, but we are just going to blame it on the fact that you were gone for 2 years. So yeh, I’ll be praying for your return. I know you can do better.

Before I begin….what is up with Chrissy’s airbrushed armpits in this pic above? I just had to point that out.

Okay, so if you havent checked out my blog from last week (Episode 2) then you missed the confrontation that came from an anonymous blogger who called me everything but a child of God. LMAO! COMEDY!!!!! Therefore, I want to make sure that I hit every aspect of this episode to the best of my ability. I want to get the same reaction as I did last week. It will let me know that my game is up to parr if I get hated on!!!

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #MyMicSoundsNice Check 2

Okay, fresh back from Busboys and Poets, my diva Eboni “That Hoe” “Male Bashing” “Click, Not Clit” “Interior Decorated Pussy Having” Hogan is here with me and I cant wait to hear what she has to say about this show. Eboni said, “Boom that’s my bio!” Oh my word…. I’m not going to sleep any time soon. I love this girl; she’s off the chain! [Yeh, inside joke…..you had to be at her performance to know the joke. Hope you guys show up to her feature tomorrow!]

Sooooo, why did Chrissy & Emily just tag team Olivia? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! Did Emily just say, “If I’m in the club aint no one on Fab’s hip.”? Ummmmm what about the red carpet? lmao! What about a premiere? What about a magazine? What about Google? lmao! Okay… I had to go there.

And all of these bitches up in the club pretending to support Somaya is HORRIBLE!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait (<~My new phrase for this episode) What the fuck is wrong with Somaya & what is she smoking?! I think her delusions are better than Blue Magic if she said that her song did well in the venue. lmao!!!!!

Eboni: Her words were like 5 beats BEHIND the beat. (2Deep: Nothing is funnier, than listening to Eboni say “come on , honey, catch up.”)

Again, WHY is Emily all up in someone else’s business when your home aint straight? I’m not going off of tabloids, I am going off of her crying on Mashonda‘s shoulder in Episode 1. Waaaaaaaaaait!!! Did Olivia just called Emily out? She just said on National TV “No one knows who Emily is.” lmao!!! Didnt I say that already? hahahahahaha. At least I was Googleable before this show.

Okay, so how did Somaya get in contact with Emily? This is soooo set up. I’m so lost. We couldn’t find her on Google but you can find her to talk to her over dinner? Ummmmm…yeh, Did I mention that even in my not knowing her personally… I don’t care too much for Emily. Liiiiiiiike, did Emily just really say that Somaya’s brand isn’t hot? And had the nerve to say she is keeping it real? Emily didn’t tell Somaya that while it was just the two of them. And yeh, the manager is dumb as shit, with Olivia sitting there, why would you talk shit about Jim? I cant believe he said that Jim only gets paid $10k a year. LMAO!!!!! Well, at least all of that $10k g on a gym membership. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT! Did Chrissy just call the manager Tattoo from Fantasy Island?!!! LMAO!!! I am gonna pee on myself.

HAHAHAHAH Chrissy just said that “the only thing you would have had to stop her from doing is bleeding.: Maurice is so funny. But BABY!!!!! Next week!

Next Week: So, apparently the fight between all of these bitches is enough to survive two episodes. And HONEY!!!!!! I just cant wait to see Jim Jones pull Maurice out in the street and embarrass a grown ass man on National TV. But….isnt this enough for Maurice to press charges? Just wondering. But yeh… I think I have my homegirl Eboni hooked on this show now…….so sad she has to go back to Chicago and wont be here to critique with me next week. At least it is getting juicy! And Scene!!!!

Okay… here we are… sitting on my couch laughing my ass off with @abmoore20 and I almost missed the opening to The Game. I think I did miss the opening of The Game… Noooooooo. What is Mario Van Peebles dying from? I missed it.

Okay, so now Melanie is trying to keep this lie going? I am sooooo disturbed by this.

Okay…. I know I am late, but you must understand when I tell you that I am unable to keep focused on this whole episode. After learning of Hosea’s naked pics… watching him lay in bed brings soooooo many kinky visions to mind. I am trying to stay focused on Malik… but I can’t. The brother is hung like drapes dangling from the top of the Eiffel Tower to the ground.

Ummmm… how is Tasha walking up in people’s houses? I mean wow…dont people lock their doors in gated communities? Did Melanie just tell Tasha she was being boinked Buddhist… lmao. LMFALS!!! Did Tasha just correct her wig…lmao!!! I can’t get past that…lol. I am dying laughing soooo hard! hahahahaha.

Okay.. so when did Tasha meet Bo? Is that his name(Mario Van Peebles)? Because didn’t she JUST officially break up with Donte? I’m so confused. How much of a gap is this suppose to be from the last episode? Okay, so obviously i was laughing too hard and missed the intro, but @abmoore20 just told me that he saw Mario walk up to her at the party…. confused. Yeh, gonna need to watch the rerun in order to capture my head around this. I need cliff notes… something. Someone please, help me out.

Okay, so, Malik in the office of the owner allowing Derwin to beg on his behalf….I am not getting that. Especially how Parker’s picture is still on her husband’s desk. I mean, Derwin needed to hush when asked if he had a wife. Derwin cheated on Melanie so he should not say shiiiiiiit. And Malik should not get upset because he did all of this for himself.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Keith Sweat did NOT just walk into the room. LMAO!!! Wowzers. Okay, did Keith just say Jim-balaya? Isnt it jambalaya? HELL NAWL!!! Tasha didn’t say “cap ’em and deal ’em” instead of carpe diem!!!! And now Tasha is giving up the goodies to a dying man… shame. Wait, where did Keith go? I’m so confused. @abmoore20 is not allowed over my house to watch these shows… I cant focus because he keeps me laughing. I love my mentee….not that you care. lmao!

Okay… as this commercial break is going on… I don’t think that Mario Van Peebles is dying. I think he is also married and this is something that he tells innocent women to get them to speed up the process. Besides, we all know that black people don’t go to doctors and when we do we don’t believe a word of what they have to say. We believe in the LAWD & when he says its time for us to go home. Am I right? Can I get a witness!!*@abmoore20 says: Hallelu!” *passes collection plate & cues the ushers*

LMAO!!! Melanie went to Brazil….lol. That was a funny way to say she Waxed on, waxed off her va-jay-jay…lmao. And I feel all kinky watching Melanie and Derwin almost getting kinky. Wait….. Niiiiiiiiiiiice buttcrack shot, Derwin. #TeamPoochHall’s Ass! I wonder if they wrote in Melanie being pregnant because Tia is pregnant in real life? Hmmmm.

Oh wow… Tasha even gets left alone after having one night stands from dying dudes. I am soooo confused about her entire situation. Hell, Rick Fox was the closest that we saw her to being happy. I hope that Malik is calling Jenna…. wait.. he called his mom? Confused, but okay, I get it.

NEXT WEEK!!! Okay, I love how they set this up, the finale… I mean. I pray that it is not a let down. Wow… okay I will have to make sure to watch. It is too juicy. I hate that they allude to Jenna not giving Malik a 2nd chance… boo , hiss! Okay, time to watch this boring ass show that comes on after it. Watch and suffer with me! [insert link here to Let’s Not Stay Together]

So, after watching last week’s premiere episode, I quickly came to the conclusion that this was merely Basketball Wives set to music. Can’t you see it. Mashonda is just a hip hop version of Shaunie O’Neal, Fabolous‘ woman is nothing more than a weaker version of Jennifer, and Olivia is Royce (no offense), just meaning that they are the only one’s who have something going for themselves besides being known as a male star’s arm trophy. Somaya is Tammy for lack of character equivalency, and the only thing that Chrissy has over Gloria and Evelyn is that she has her man and he claims her in public…lmao! Put a couple of bitches, hoes, and an 808 drop in there and you’ve got yourself an episode of Love & Hip Hop.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure these are struggles that are very hard to go through. But fuck me if I’m wrong, you put your business on NATIONAL television for the world to see, knowing that you would get judged. Well, all rise. The Honorable 2Deep presiding. LMAO! Whatever you THOUGHT was going to come from letting cameras in your life wasnt going to end at the cashing of checks.

And was I the only one who can’t listen to Fab’s music any more after seeing how he treats his woman? Girl.. whatever your name is… move on. The nigger can’t spell fabulous correctly any way. You don’t want your baby growing up illiterate like his dumb ass daddy, do you? *ugh* I just got a bad taste in my mouth after writing that recap. But… the DVR is set to record just in case I don’t make it back home in time after this production meeting. So….

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, #MyMicSoundsNice ….Check 1

Okay, judging by this intro…Chrissy is insecure. Has she not figured out that she is the ugly bitch in her crew? Not saying that she is ugly, because who am I to judge….but out of her crew…she’s the ugly bitch. Of course, I would be angry too.

OUCH!!!! Is her girl calling Olivia out?! Wait… is that Fabolous’ girl snitching on someone else’s relationship? Soooo wow!!!! Olivia just got busted on NATIONAL TV for lying about still dating football player Revis….smh!!!!But dont you just HATE it when bitches who don’t have things going on straight in their own house they have to jump out and act all hard. I mean, where is this bitch’s voice when Fab is walking the red carpet without her ass? Why is she not moving out of the house that she and Fab live in and be on her own? Why not check Fab while you’re crying on Mashonda‘s shoulder and then acting hard for this football player just because you buy his clothes. Damn, I can’t even remember her name. Let me Google “Fab’s bitch” and see what comes up…..shit, nothing. See what I mean. And judging by the RUMORS circulating the net, you aint the woman with the ring on her hand in all of Fab’s new pics…..see how you should learn how to prioritize your mess!

Damn! Okay… I know I hate to talk about someone’s mother…. but doesn’t Mama Jones look Like Frankie? Man down!!! Okay, well at least those are her teeth….I think. Wait! Chrissy doesn’t have money or access to Jim, Jimmy, or Jumbo’s money…hahahah. Funny. So she is already telling us that she is not taking care of her own finances. Jim could pull a Fab and ignore you and what will you do then? Ugh…. watching this relationship between Mama Jones and Chrissy is making me uncomfortable. *ugh!

Okay… Somaya turned down the panty shot….but then she got into a swimsuit and hot pants up her ass. Okay boo… bullet wounds and big booties are in this season, havent you heard? Dudes don’t care about your bullet wound…lol. Okay, I shouldnt joke like that. But I am happy that she stuck to her guns. Even though there are pics on the net that show way more than what she chose to show because the cameras are around. I’m lost. Is she a reformed hoe now? Is there a reformed pimp in heaven getting his wings? I love how video hoes get self-esteem when shit is being recorded. Girl, you better go make that money and not let that money make you!

HOLD UP!!! Why is Chrissy making comments on Somaya’s music. Why are you letting this bitch up in your business, Jim? As a person just watching the show… Chrissy talks that shit in places where she can get away with shit.. I bet you $50 she wont pull that get buck shit in D.C. or Montgomery, Alabama. I know 5 chicks off the top of my head who would shut that trick down. I hate short bitches with Napolean complexes who talk all this mess.Speaking of mess… this autotuned bullshit of Somaya’s….smh. Okay, maybe I need to hear the full song but didn’t 50 already do a song about riding a bus and will his girl be there for him? Out of all the things that happen in this world, why are we repeating motifs?

Okay.. so who with money drinks champagne in plastic cups, out the trunk of a Benz, in front of a house? Yes, that screams classy as a motherfucker right there!!!! So it is official, she is just the Alcoholic Anonymous version of Frankie. Got it! Glad that was clarified. Is that a full pig? I think my inner Muslim just told me not to eat pig ever again.

***Sidebar: Who is that fine ass buff dude at Jim’s Birthday party?!

Aww… Jim Jones is dropping tears!!!! OKAY! HE GETS MAD PROPS!!! I just LOVE how Jim Jones shows active affection for Chrissy and her crazy ass! lol. THAT is a man… *standing ovation* Man…see groupies…see how sexy he just got by showing his woman love and letting her in and letting the world know how much he loves her. Wait.. did this girl’s dress almost catch on fire…lol. That was hilarious. Okay. Jim gets mad love from me on this episode. That is all I have to say about that.

Conclusion: Chrissy needs to get slapped, Olivia needs to stop lying on professional dick, Fab’s secret bitch needs a life, and Somaya needs to go back to Cali. Okay… that is all. I will be watching again next week. This show is like a train wreck…or Bobbie Christina without adult supervision, you know you’re suppose to help but that aint your kid…lmao!

Okay… a recap of my day is so more interesting than last week’s episode.

Not that you care, and not that I care that you don’t care, but I had one of the busiest days of my life. Sweet heavens. I went to work and immediately wrote a to-do list just so that I could make sure that I didn’t forget anything. I mean, between the production company, the script, the web series, poetry, slam, and breathing……I had to scream out for help to my BFF and my personal assistant. *woosah* I do faaaaaar too much and need to know which battles to fight, when to say no, and obtain better time management skills. I even had to have a lunch date with my boo just so I could see him this week…lmao. Sad, yet true. So, I just finished my radio interview (Thanks DJ Gemz)….and I made home in time to fold clothes and get ready for my maid to come in the morning. And now I am all ready for you. Yes, I’m here for you.

So if you missed last week, or any week for that matter, click on the links above and get to reading.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,….. #GameOn , Bitches!

Damn…. all of these hoes. Okay, let me stop being a hypocrite….I would dance for Malik ( Hosea). And awwwwww, Malik said that Jenna is his Jada. And I hope this episode gets better because this opening is as slow as Hugh Heffner running through the Playboy mansion. *yawn* Come on…. don’t make me do it! I will “Let’s Stay Together” you…. I will!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAH!!! My inner fat girl jumped the fuck up out this bed and then knocked the soda out my own damn hands when Tasha was working out to P90X on the couch! Lmao! I havent worked out to those discs since before I went on my cruise in December. And I would still have dust on them but my maid cleaned them off….lol.

Now is the time for me to admit that I am not really feeling TT’s acting. Somehow it managed to work when he was silent.

And damn! Parker is on some Crazy, Deraaaaaanged type shit. I mean, really, girl… is Malik carrying the magic stick that created the magic stick? Because I can’t see AAAAAAAAAANY man laying pipe enough to make me stalk him. Okay… there was this one time at band camp…. No, there was this Chocolate Dude….noooooo there was the…. Wait. Get out my business. Back to the story…… She is sitting in his car in the parking lot to his practice stadium. She is not even trying to be discrete any more, she is just buck crazy kind of bold. Shame.

Okay, Tasha could have told everyone that Dontae was going out of town….but noooooooooo. She’s planning this party with Melanie for someone who she broke up with weeks before.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! Parker’s husband just called her a $2 Hooker! Okay. I get it! Abused, Craaaazy, Dereaaanged!!! Okay, so she needed Malik’s magic stick.

Wait!!! DONTAE JUST MADE THIS SHOW INTERESTING AS HELL!!!!!!! He showed up, but who in the hell told him that his party was going on? Hmmm…. Awwwww Dontae is being so sweet and romantic.

AND MALIK IS ABOUT TO FUCK IT UP!!!!! DON’T GO HAVE SEX WITH PARKER IN THE BATHROOM!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Stay with Jenna. She’s not stupid. Okay…. False alarm. But I have a feeling Malik is about to get caught in 5, 4, 3, 2, ……2……2…..Malik’s bathroom therapy session to tell Parker her worth….2……2…. (I bet Parker is going to snitch on them…to get back at her husband)….2….2….2….2… OH SHIT!!!! Jenna just walked into the girl’s stall after Parker left and Malik just played it off. I bet you the mess is going on outside of that bathroom…..and his confessing that he is in love with Jenna is not going to make this mess any softer.

WTF?!!!A Commercial?

Okay… they made it out of the hotel and there is Parker and her husband….BAM!!!! You mean to tell me that Jenna only HEARD that Parker and Malik had sex and she walked off? Come on now. I thought that Jenna was better than that. In all seriousness, Jenna and Malik have only been together for a few weeks. So this could have been before he went to rehab. I just lost faith in Jenna… if she doesn’t come back she can keep her faithless ass off the show!

MESSAGE!: Black ladies… yes, he did sleep with Parker while he was with Jenna, but Jenna needed to ask Malik what she was talking about. To ask for clarification. I don’t think you understand just how upset I am right now! I was really rooting for Malik & Jenna….shame… black love just can’t prevail, now can it. And wow!

So, Malik’s Rick Ross of a bodyguard is allowed to bring a gun, pop it off 3 times and get to stand there in *country music voice* Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide Open Spaces!? Come on now…. Make me believe that this isn’t going to be a Shine Part 2. He could have come and taken one of the Owner’s side men who were jumping Malik. But really….smh. Stereotypes.

Okay…. So I can’t remember what next week alludes too, but I never do so nothing new….lol. But, I have to admit…the pace was slow, but it was very interesting and full of surprises, though unbelievable. Okay, so beside the ghetto friends, bitter black woman exits, and psycho jump-offs….this episode did redeem itself from last week’s episode. I give this episode a B+. Not what I was expecting… but better than what you gave me last week. And scene!