Sirens Review: “Rachel McAdams Topless”

(Episode 1.03)

If the keyword for the previous episode of Sirens was “karma,” tonight’s episode should be tagged, quite simply, “porn.” The cold open features a discussion between Johnny and Theresa about how much porn he has been getting into since the couple has gone on a break. Being the slippery little dude he is, he, of course, lies to his ladylove, telling her he gave it up when they separated. This was right before lending Theresa his iPad, which is, of course, chock full of naughtiness.

This all comes to a head when a large gent being escorted to the hospital begs the EMTs to go back to his house and delete his Internet search history. When they do, the boys are treated to a video of a horse doing unspeakable acts with a human. But it does reveal how Theresa could very easily learn that Johnny was not telling the truth about quitting porn. Naturally, this means sneaking into Theresa’s apartment to get the iPad back.

Here’s where the show veers off a nice course. It was funny to watch the guys check out Theresa’s laptop to see that she’s been checking out pictures of The Rock and Penelope Cruz (her lesbian free pass, apparently), but the appearance of Theresa’s dimwitted partner and his apparently large penis is a ridiculous diversion. And the focus on said member goes on waaaaaaaaay too long.

Things fall back into line when Johnny is called out on his porn predilections, particularly his many pictures of a topless Rachel McAdams. His reason? She reminds him of Theresa, of whom he has no topless/nude pictures. It was a fairly sweet moment made even more so when at the end of the episode—after the EMTs are reeling from walking in on an elderly couple having sex—Johnny gets snapped back to reality when he receives a nude picture from Theresa.

The ongoing storyline between Theresa and Johnny is one of the best elements of this fine sitcom. There’s none of that “will they, won’t they” sexual tension that far too many shows feel the need to build up (I blame you, Ross & Rachel). There’s already a lot of love and affection between the two. The question is whether Johnny will finally commit or not. And it’s a question that I’m willing to wait out the answer to over the coming weeks.

Robert Ham is a Portland-based freelance writer and regular contributor to Paste. You can follow him on Twitter.