“When I was a fighting man, the kettle-drums they beat;The people scattered gold-dust before my horse’s feet;But now I am a great king, the people hound my trackWith poison in my wine-cup, and daggers at my back.”

Dear god what has April Fools become. It used to be I only feared pranks and false news. Now I have to deal with spoilers, atrocious memes, and general buffoonery, and most of all I hate how much of a grandpa this is all making me sound. But it's like the whole internet turns into 4chan for 32 hours.