Posted Oct 7, 2008

Whitney Casey – relationship expert and writer for the Houston Chronicle, just interviewed one of our very own SA Sugar Babies for an article about Sugar Daddy dating that came out last Sunday. The readers have, let’s just say, given their OWN opinion about our personal lives… and they’re even giving Whitney Casey some flack for writing an article about us “deprived individuals”…

Below are comments from “HoustonChronicle.com”:

sme says:

OH. MY. GOD.
I believe there are other words to call these men and women. Johns and hookers.

cre8tor says:

Somebody just wrote: “Why not start running some articles about finding healthy relationships,…” Might I remind you all what the divorce rate is in the U.S.? How many times does an average man/woman get married? Have you seen how many books and television shows there are on how to have or create a healthy relationship? What is healthy? Hmmm? Don’t we all want the same things? companionship, respect, affection, sustenance. My sugar daddy is my best friend, confidant, emotional supporter and great fun. But, things work out better for us living separately. He enjoys talking care of me and I love pleasing him. Tell me, how is that different than being married? How many women expect their husbands to take care of the bills while they do….what? Stay home? Put on her prom dress and attend the charity ball every year? I do that….just with someone that I don’t have to worry about whether he is annoying or overbearing or lazy or…whatever. THAT is healthy to me.

jynxie says:

Whitney:
There are so many wonderful wonderful women out there…why do you continue to focus your column on the ones that make women look bad (the habitually late woman with no concern for others, the beauty queen and her gazillion steps for looking great on the fly, the cougar who dresses like a kitten, the sorority sister that googles zip codes, and now the vapid sugar baby)? I think you usually mean to point out their downfalls in an effort to give women advice, but it is getting a little old.
How about something that’s positive about women? All you are doing now is validating stereotypes. JMHO.

TexasValeSki says:

Arrangements are NOT nessesarily affiars!!! Sometimes married couples agree to arrange for one partner to make a safe and mutually benificial arrangement with someone because health problems don’t allow them to have intimacy. Many others are single and want to provide more than just a hot dog and fries to the women they date, especially in THIS economy. Stop the judgement my friends, this is nothing but putting a clean and transparent system behind what has been going on throughout the ages. Now, I know for a fact that there are more Texas sugar daddies on SeekingArrangement than in almost any other state except California, yet, somehow, the MORAL wrath of some of my fellow Texans appears un-reasonably violent and non-understanding. Finally, can we all agree that it’s not the site or the fact that people are making arrangements that bother so many, but instead, the way some choose to use the ‘mutually beneficial relationship model’. I’m NOT going to apologize for being smart, and breaking this down to the level it should be so ignorant and blindly judgmental statements can be held to the test.

SuthrnExec says:

I’m sure none of those who are posting such out-rage have never known anyone (maybe even themselves?) who ever continued to date someone simply because of the frills and nice treatment they received… I hear a hint of jealousy in most of those posts! Maybe they think their husbands would look into this because they’re married to them!

Click here to read the article for yourself, and feel free to add YOUR two cents about this lifestyle choice.

You have to put yourself in a place where there are men who can afford sbs, then present yourself to be elusive and almost unattainable.

My first sbs were through private introductions from established sbs. This is my first attempt on the web.

just mesays:

Where can I meet SB besides the cheeseie forums liek SZG dating amd all that crap. Any locals may send me their pics and expectations for furhter dicsussion. I feel as thoughI am the cream of the crop when it comes to looks, generousity and having fun, so I expect the same…..

Dating How Long To Wait For A Return Emailsays:

Good Day EXpert, I fell lucky that I located this post while browsing for dating how long to wait for a return email. I am with you on the topic of Houston Chronicle Reveals Sugar Daddy Dating. Ironically, I was just putting a lot of thought into this last Friday.

Bensays:

Blondie et al,
It has been a while – I was busy on my SB search. I looked at the Houston Chronicle article and a lot of the posts – WOW – lots of judgement.

Speaking of judgement – I posted on another area of the blog about a close friend of mine who has all but disowned me since I told him details of my SD lifestyle. This makes me think I should share details with no one except for all of you here.

Lots of judgement in Houston and Texas for sure. Kudos to Southern Exec for commenting on this and to Cre8tor. I think we have to acknowledge that there will be some SB/SD situations that are like prostitution – pure quid pro quo – but most are not. I’ve met some great women and am still friends with a few of them. So much of the world is uninformed what this is all about.

Anyhow – would love to hear about any of you who have dealt with female/male friends outside of the SA site.

Thanks.

printedpassionssays:

Well I want my own space. I don’t want to share it. Sounds bad, but we all think that way. I was already married. I don’t need to do it again. But I never got to be pampered. So who wants to spoil me? lol

SuthrnExec.. Even I would agree with that.. are ya surprized? lol

lisasays:

correction, he contacted me in mid August.

lisasays:

these sugardaddies need to consider that we don’t all have control of our schedules. If they want us to have a carefree schedule then they need to pay more than a few bills.
I have had many of those ones that take forever to meet and then they disappear. I had one guy who contacted me in mid july and was moving to my city in mid september and wanted to meet and discuss an arrangemetn then. We kept in touch through email several times a week for the first couple weeks and then somewhere along the way he got sideswiped and said he was not coming down for 2 more weeks because he was going to be in another city way up north. I find it odd that he would just stop in the middle of his move and go up to some other place and apparently he must have fallen into that mysterious hole that so many fall into because he hasn’t written since and has not renewed his membership nor been online since early september.

BlondeinNYCsays:

Glad I could make you guys smile today
Seriously, there are just some men who make me scratch my head. I’ve had a guy, I won’t say potential SD because he just (apparently) doesn’t have the balls email me for over a month,and when I finally wrote why don’t we just meet up, he disappeared. Then there was another guy who only wanted to im me after 11.Sorry I have a job.

lisasays:

BlondeinNYC Yuck, through that guy back. And you might want to tell him that if he is over 60 or can disguise himself to look old and have any potential sb date to make herself up to look like an older lady, he can take her to chik file as they have 25 cent coffee for seniors and he could spend even less.
Coffee dates are fine for casual meetings with regular guys but with sugardaddies, we need to see more from them, something to make it worth the time and effort to meet them.

Caligirlsays:

cadreemin: LOL….yeah you have me smiling…look at you…after silently reading the blogs, you saved up all your thoughts, wants,needs, and desires and put them in writing…and did a darn good job of it…by the way there is noting wrong with fossils:) Have the best day ever!!!

Caligirlsays:

LOL…..Blondie…you are a character!!!…you feel better now? LOL…..Have a good day….

BlondeinNYCsays:

Can you believe the cojones on that guy? He didn’t even have a picture of himself up and woudn’t send one to me.

I sent him another email with just a phone number in it. What he didn’t know was that I googled escort services, got the number of one and sent it to him! That’s what he really wanted. An escort. Not a friend, not a companion, just someone he could buy a $1.79 cup of coffee then f*(&)(.

Yeesh.

lisasays:

I agree that the sd should provide help from day one. Whether it turns into an arrangement or not, we ladies take time to make ourselves presentable and take time out of our schedules to meet and should be compesated for our time. If he is a true sd, a reasonable cash gift shouldn’t be an issue.
But there are too many men that want to get sexual without offering anything in return and they come across as the usual user type male out for himself.
I would like to find a sd that I could have a good relationship with where we both benefit, the kind of relationship I had with a married man for several years allthough he wasn’t a sd, there was chemistry between us but we still respected each other’s personal lives and had no expectations other than to see each other weekly and to keep in touch in between

cadreeminsays:

Ok, you did it, you sucked me in. But this blog has hit on so many things that I’ve encountered that I had to blog in too.

Working backwards the first is the worst, I’m a fossil too, lol.

The rest of this lengthy blog addresses situations where the woman understands that sex will for sure be part of the deal if you two hit it off and is willing to accommodate your needs as part of the arrangement. She may not feel it quite as soon as you, so it may take a little longer than you’d like to wait but she is planning on putting out when she feels comfortable. It may not happen on meet one two or three or it might – but at any rate she is aware of the implications of meeting you and she is ok with that. And hopefully the arrangement will work itself into a mutually satisfying, happy we got together, enjoy your company type of set-up. I’m not talking about the girl that meets you, acts coy like a good girl should, calls you the next day and tries to squeeze $1000 out of you and if you don’t give it you never hear from her again. And if you give it you never hear from her again. My blog addresses the plight of Sugar Babies that are here to get a little assistance, be it shopping trips, someone fawning over her, or cash in her bank account in exchange for giving you the attention you want and need. Initially she is driven by the need to get what she needs out of you, but she is hoping that it will end up in a mutually satisfying relationship where each of you is happy to give the other what they need. But you know – it takes a long time to figure that out sometimes – and I’d venture to bet that most Sugar Daddy’s are going to want to reap the benefits (have sex) before they know whether or not this will work long term. So she will most likely be having sex before she knows how committed she is going to be to this man, but he expects it since he is paying for her services, so to speak.

The guy that wants to be your one and only for less than he’d pay a dog sitter per day. What is up with that? There is much discussion back and forth on the different subjects are we just benefactors of some generous guy that just wants to be friends with benefits (as long as we both want to-cause he doesn’t want to force us-right!) and he’s going to lavish gifts upon us out of the goodness of his kind heart, or are we gold diggers or prostitutes? In good conscience can we withhold sex and naked pictures until he “Shows us the money” or should we take him at his word that he is going to be a stand up guy and lavish us with gifts and cash after we’ve “earned it” at some later date that he determines and give him the gift of our bodies before he’s “earned it”? I thought the premise of this site was to give successful, confident Sugar Daddy’s that through an unfortunate cold shoulder their wife is giving them or the time constraints a busy hectic schedule puts on them they don’t have time to go out and play the dating game. They come here and can find the affections, attentions of a woman that he will hopefully bond with and like that (for a price) will not put the pressure of a conventional relationship upon him. And he is willing to pay for that luxury – just as he pays for all of his other luxuries. Everyone wins. She doesn’t have to go out and pretend she likes someone so she can coerce him out of gas or grocery money, the Sugar Daddy knows why she is here and how much this convenience is going to cost him. I believe he owes her monetary concession from day one. Most times he wants to be her one and only Sugar Daddy, and often times it has taken weeks to get to the point that they finally meet. By this time she has maybe said no to one or two other potential Sugar Daddy’s cause this one seems real. She, most times is running at a deficit by the time they meet and has just the hope that he will be a stand up guy and realize this and pay her for her time and effort – just as he would pay his accountant or masseuse for investing their time. If things worked out and they hit it off, they work out some arrangement so that she gets the monetary benefit that she thought she was signing up for when she posted on this site and he gets the love and attention he’s not getting for whatever reason at home. Let’s face it, most of the time the man pays anyway, so he’s already conditioned for it, but in this forum he’s basically told up front how much he’s going to pay – he can weigh the pros and cons of the offer, he can counter offer, he can say yes or he can say no, but at least he knows what is expected. I personally have a very hard time reconciling this concept with my personal desire to be self – sufficient and not need help. But currently I find that I cannot make it on my own financially and I feel almost relieved that there is a place I can go and say “You know what, I need some extra cash. You need a little excitement in your life. Why not see if we can help each other out?” I don’t want to have a string of five Sugar Daddy’s and you don’t want me to have five of them, so it’s going to cost you a bit of money to have your cake and eat it too. And hopefully we click and everything works out. But if we don’t – guess what – I still need the extra cash that drove me to sign up on this site – and you still got the attentions of a woman versed in the art of making a man melt – so give the lady her due$. And if you are as rich and have as much disposable cash as you say you have – understand that the need for assistance drove her to give you her most precious gift and that she has just gone against her entire life’s upbringing because she felt she had no other options – so maybe you could be that kind gentleman you say you are in your ad and pay her for the month that its going to take to her to find a replacement. Is it your fault things didn’t work – no – is it hers – no. It just didn’t and you have the means to make it not a financial burden on her to have tried and lost.

Ok that’s way more than anyone should write for their first blog anywhere ever.

BlondeinNYCsays:

Talk about strange SDs….

I want to label this ONE FOR THE BOOKS!
I sent an email to a gentleman, who immediately sent me one back asking to chat with me on the phone. I thought,”Why not”, I usually try to email a bit more to get a feel about the person. Instead I gave him my number. He asked how soon we could me, I suggested Monday for coffee (this was over the weekend). I said we could meet and see if we hit it off or not, he then asked me where we would go after that for an “intimate encounter.” Uh huh.

Easily Amusedsays:

You know Vivian I have been called a fossil many times…

Viviansays:

Hello and thank you for the warm welcomes. I’m very surprised that I’ve gotten emails already considering I wrote in my bio that I like to cross stitch and fossil hunt. I guess there is someone out there for everyone.

bostonTerriersays:

i met a guy kind of like that lisa.

he wanted me to visit him for a week in arizona, he would’ve payed for my ticket and everything, any expenses there, and an extra $1,000 for coming to visit. being a college student that just wasn’t going to happen. my mom isn’t paying for me to go to college to take a vacation from my clases.

lisasays:

well well I just got an email from a sd that I chatted with a few months ago. I remember he offered 400 a month and expected to come into town and stay 2 days a week with me. As if I am going to give up all my time of my days off to spend with him for pocket change. lol also he liked to travel (he was supposedly retired and had a good retirement income of like 250K . He wanted me to be able to travel at any time, but was not willing to support me so that I could do that. I cannot take off work to travel if I don’t have replacement income or in a case of taking constant vacations from work, I would lose that job and have no income. After all how many of us can quit work and travel with some guy who won’t take care of our bills??

Anyway hope everyone is having a good morning. I’m off today just chilling to I go run errands in the afternoon.

I never give anyone a chance if they do not answer all my questions. I dont ask anything rediculous so there is no reason not to answer. Period.

lisasays:

I just read the guy who wanted to meet’s profile again and I just noticed he is offering 10k a month allowance. ??? His yearly income is listed as 500,000 or something. It is odd that he could pay someone 120,00 a year 1/4 of his total income before taxes and manage to keep it from his wife??) When he wrote me back he didnt’ answer any of my questions, just wanted to meet. He doesn”t sound legit to me

lisasays:

I have a bleach mouth. lol I rarely use profanity except if I stub my toe or if my computer is running too slow.
well i’m in another drought. Hoping to get some emails coming soon. sent two out but they haven’t been read yet. I deleted the guy who wrote me but never wrote back and the other one I just had an uneasy feeling about, he wasn’t willing to meet me where I wanted to meet. He called me silly for wanting to meet at the mall. The mall is a safe place with a coffee shop and a couple decent restaraunts near by and also on my own turf. Maybe I should have been more adaptable but the idea of getting on a bus, changing buses, and going to an area I am not familiar with in the evening, possibly being out late and not being able to get home safely, I chose safety.

i had a potential ask me if he could watch me with another man. That was enough for me haha. And yeah i have a bad potty mouth but its easier to edit myself when you write it down..

ChicBabysays:

Cre8tor – He wanted you to ‘sleep with’ 4 other men before meeting him? I’m shocked. I know that there are men on here who are looking for ‘alternative’ things, but that is a bit farther out there than I’m used to hearing!

yael – His loss! Just like cre8tor, some of these men want things that many people aren’t comfortable with, but they don’t have to be rude about it when you aren’t comfortable!

Vivian – Welcome! I definitely think that this site is far safer than craigslist or any other way! Have fun & good luck!!

As for me, things are going ok. I met with one man this past weekend, and I’m still not sure how I feel about him. I have another meeting with another man next week for lunch, so perhaps I’ll have stronger feelings about him!

yaelsays:

WOW Cre8tor…. that’s crazy and awful. 4 other men!! what did he think this was?… thats’ not an arrangement that’s a porno plot!!!!! .. some men really have it twisted… and Caligirl. you are right….. I’m sure he would have been some kinda psycho…… LOL… I wish we all lived closer… it would be awesome to have our own SA blog event LOL….

cre8torsays:

Vivian! Welcome to our little family. And, you are right in the comparison to Craig’s List. Reading through our little blog here should give you a whole book of insight and prior learning experience to go on. Much luck to you. yael: bummer. I suppose everyone has their own turn ons. I have to say my past experience w/GW was disappointing when he asked me to accomodate him and 4 other men before even meeting face to face or talking on the phone. Each to his own but keep your boundaries.

dreamersays:

you go girl!!! they dont need to be mistreating you, especially if you havent even met yet! Its like 5am here.. You are up early

yaelsays:

so…… I started IM with this guy who was a prospect and everything seemed to be going ok but it seemed that the more intelligent I seemed to be (even though he was askin me questions that seemingly required an intelligent response) the more terse and short his responses became… he only got a bit more exciting when in one respnse I accidently dropped a big F bomb..(yes… unfortunately I have a serious potty mouth) then he said that he liked a woman that cursed…. He then proceeded to want to engage me in sexually explicit conversation asking if I was into dom/sub and I said.. not really experienced in anything more than light bondage… like fuzzy cuffs and blindfolds.. and he went back to the one word responses… and said quickly he had to go and he would hit me back… since then no word from him, same as Lisa, I sent him 2 courtesy emails and he has logged onto the site a few times since then and didn’t even open them…. what a bastard!! it sucks that some guys want you to be stupid or expect us to be whores or freaks and above all place no sense of responsibility or obligation or standards on themselves to be anything….. (I’m trying for the sake of the moderator to not give you all a prime example of my potty mouth in action LOL)… the nerve of some guys… my response.. I gave him what he wanted so bad I sent him an IM cussin him the heck out!! LOL… maybe that will give him a rise and I can ignore him now!!!

yaelsays:

dreamer- if only more men followed that logic LOL……

dreamersays:

off subect i know. but it seems like rappers say it best. this song turns me on so much! ”we can pop bottles all night and baby, you can have whatever you like. Late night sex so wet, so tight. Ill gas up the jet tonight and you can go where ever you like. anytime you want to, pick up the telephone, you know its not nothing to drop a couple stacks on you.. I want your body, i need your body, as long as you got me you wont need nobody. you want it i got it, go get it, ill buy it. tell them other broke guys be quiet. You can have whatever you like…….” mmmmm

I read that article and signed up for an account just yesterday afternoon. I am excited about the prospects of this. It seems less seedier and scary than a Craig’s List ad!

cre8torsays:

I had an interesting conversation w/a girlfriend of mine today and want to share. She had met a man on a traditional dating site and arranged to meet him for the first date on his boat. Nice. The second date he asked her to drive 2 hours to the city only to have a short lunch in a cafe style restaurant. The third, he asked her to come to his house but didn’t have any idea what to do other than ask her to help him paint his doors or something. He then made a comment about how he couldn’t wait to have her or something along that line. She was so turned off that she will not see him again. He hadn’t invested enough effort or money in the relationship before assuming they would end up in the bedroom. This is a “traditional” dating relationship. How is it different from SD/SB except for the honesty of money for affection? It’s just that sort of expectation that I prefer to avoid. On the table baby!

lisasays:

thanks I knew it was too good to be true. He seemed legit and his profile made him sound very generous and he was a gentleman. guess he’s just playing games or just not interested in me. I got 3 responses and he was the only good one (so I thought) as the others were wanting to play picture swap and the other wanted to have lots of intimancy with a girl who wasn’t into money. Oh and I have the one that wants to meet for a drink in a place I can’t get to. I haven’t decided on him yet because I feel he will reject me if he learns I don’t have a car as houston men really seem to look down on you if you don’t have a car, but then again they should be a good sugardaddy and buy me a car. lol

ChicBabysays:

lisa – If he’s on the site but not responding to your emails, it most likely means that he’s no longer interested. I normally only send one email ‘reminder’ and if he doesn’t respond then oh well! If you’ve sent three, then I would say to just leave it alone. I hate when that happens, but it happens a lot, lol!

lisasays:

I need advice on how to deal with the sd that contacted me on the site, I responded, he asked for my email, and we exchanged messages but has since not responded. I have sent him 3 emails in the past 3 days and he has not responded although he is on the site everyday, several times a day.
should I go ahead an call him or take it as another game player? I am reluctant to call someone who won’t even write back.

Caligirlsays:

I am happy for you Yael…See it’s raining SDs in your town!!!! Enjoy yourself and have fun!!!!!

yaelsays:

wow.. I couldn’t take the time to sign up either to make a comment… It wouldn’t help… people don’t understand the whole SD/SB thing either way becasue they can’t imagine the variety of relationships that people develop.. they have no concept of arrangements… or otherwise… they don’t get that not everyone has the time for dating or the aptitude in certain social settings.. I really like the sites like this… and the way it was all interpreted was so negative… like hookers, and johns?… are you serious?… the majority of the people on this site are outwardly opposed to the notion…

Most of the Sds on this site from there profiles really just enjoy spoiling and spending time with a woman… and maybe don’t have the schedules to commit that to a relationship… it’s like a part time boyfirend and from most of youe stories, develop long time relatonships and friendships with their SD/SBs……

I think it’s unfair to just categorize people and their relationships in such narrow perspectives…

On a bright note… I actually met up with my first SD prospect for coffee of course… and he’s so nice and adorable… I hope we will connect alot better… He’s tall, and handsome with silver hair, and a great listener….. I talk alot so that’s good… and we talked about everything from travel, to politics, to favorite books until pretty late… He had to go out of town for a few days the next morning so we had to cut it short… but we probably could have talked until the morning…

I hope we will talk more when he gets back… I’m keeping optimistic… like you all said and it’s paying off.. It’s been a hot week for me!!! Heeeeyyyy!!! I’ve gotten messages from five different people (three of who, found me!!) when before I felt like I was begging for just a response from one out of the 20 I may contact on any given day… LOL… And all of them seem normal… all of them are single/divorced and not married… which means hopefully less drama to have to worry about and all of them interesting… one even quoted poetry like I asked on my profile… which is big to me casue it means he actually paid attention… and most of them are LOCAL!!!!!! I’m so glad

Great article. Too bad so many just have no appreciation or understanding.

cre8torsays:

I just HAD to write a comment. You know me and my thoughts by now….Stand up for us!

lisasays:

Ha ha I expect that reaction from my city. Houston is known for it’s obesity and really bad rude drivers. I wouldn’t exactly call it a world class city at all. It sucks. If people don’t approve of the sugardaddy lifestyle, they can hang on to their loser boyfriends who do nothing for them. The houston sugardaddies I have came in contact with leave a lot to be desired too.

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