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State College Class Superlatives: Bar Edition

The State College bar scene can feel like an enormous challenge to conquer when you first turn 21, but once you’ve been around the block a few times, they’re pretty easy to navigate. Here are my rankings after my first week bar hopping in Happy Valley — high school class superlative edition.

Life of the Party — The Shandygaff

Any place that regularly plays throwbacks will always get the most people on the dance floor. Are you really trying to tell me you don’t lose it when you hear Backstreet Boys? Get real. My only pro-tip is that the bathroom is horrifying and those “Adios Motherfucker” pitchers are a sugary guarantee for a hangover. Bonus points for the fact that the Vamos!Lion Chariot man likes to hang out there.

Most Likely to be Famous — Indigo

Due to its recent 15 minutes of fame after being nominated the 21st best college bar in the country, Indigo obviously has reached its peak. $2 drinks are hard to ignore, though.

Class Jock — Gingerbread Man

The fraternity brother/sorority sister duo is the college equivalent to the high school football player/cheerleader stereotype. And we all know that G-Man is the Greek upperclassmen haven. Their Mind Erasers are no joke, either.

Most Unique — Z Bar

This is not a bar. It’s just the fantastic beer menu from the Deli. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

Most Likely to Succeed — The Phyrst

People are always going to turn 21 and they’re always going to go to the Phyrst. Also, Friday Happy Hour.

Biggest Ego — Mad Mex

How is it that it takes about $7 to get drunk at any other State College bar, but at Mad Mex, that will only get you one — albeit large and delicious — margarita? Where do they get off?

Most Talented — Cafe 210 West

Cafe’s ability to make itself synonymous with nice weather is its real value. Also, they manage to charge cover six out of seven nights a week and still have people lining up down the block to pay it. It’s hard not to be impressed with that.

Best to Take Home to Mom and Dad — The Skeller

If taking your parents out drinking is on your agenda, your parents must be pretty cool. My suggestion is the Rathskeller because all of their food comes from Spats and it’s one of the oldest in State College which means you can impress them with whatever trivia you can think of/make up. Plus, chances are, they’ve probably been here before.