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Bridezilla Wants Pregnant Bridesmaid to Pay for a Wedding Do-Over

Is it me, or do today's brides seem to be terribly spoiled about their weddings? It's so bad there's a term and a TV show for it: Bridezillas. That's what we call brides who freak out about their wedding plans and destroy Tokyo.

Look, I know a wedding is a special day and that many little girls grow up dreaming of the beautiful ceremony they're going to have one day. They're the princess in their life's movie, waiting to be swept off their feet and into the palace by their very own Prince Charming.

Except it never goes that way, especially on the TV show. So many people hate-watched it there was even a spin-off called Marriage Boot Camp where several bridezillas and their husbands tried to save their failing marriages.

Color me surprised.

My wife wasn't like that when we got married. I mean, she had planned our wedding and wanted it to be beautiful, but she didn't have a full-on freakout over every little detail going not-quite her way.

Even when I was 30 minutes late because my best man and I had to turn around so I could get a jar of Grey Poupon for the limo ride to the reception.

Anna's heinous crime? She had the audacity to show up six months pregnant and with her new husband, who apparently is very good-looking and tall.

IB had planned her wedding for three full years, and wanted her big day to be all about her, which every bride deserves.

But Anna ruined it all because, as IB said, "She was hugely pregnant, and didn't refrain from showing it off. We're both fairly young (25) and in my husband's culture, getting pregnant before late 20s/30s, married or not, is basically a teenage pregnancy and drew ATTENTION."

In other words, Anna was just standing up there, all pregnant and stuff with her sticky-outy belly, letting everyone see how sticky-outy it was.

It didn't end there. Anna then kicked dirt on the smoldering corpse of IB's wedding because, "She also has a vibrant personality and has a way of eclipsing everyone around her. Her husband is also very tall and incredibly attractive, which drew a lot of attention."

In other words, IB invited her charismatic girlfriend to be her bridesmaid, knowing full well that Anna eclipses everyone around her.

Also, in what culture is getting pregnant by age 25 considered a teenage pregnancy? More importantly, why is it Anna's responsibility to avoid getting pregnant so as not to offend a family she has never met and will never see again?

IB said that "all anyone spoke about or of was Anna's pregnancy and her attractive husband. Even in the line, people were asking about that 'electric woman' and of her pregnancy/marriage/life."

Finally, IgnoredBride had had enough. She left halfway through the reception in tears, and even skipped the next morning's brunch. I'm sure IgnoredGroom had fun spending the night doing nothing but consoling his new wife.

(Have fun on Marriage Boot Camp, kids.)

IB concluded, "I can't even look at the pictures without crying and desperately want a do over. It felt like a celebration of Anna's marriage. I honestly feel like Anna owes me a wedding and did all of this as revenge for me offending her years ago. Am I wrong?"

Yes, you're very wrong. This is not Anna's fault, it's all yours, because one of two things probably happened.

One, a couple people mentioned Anna and her tall, attractive husband (TAH) to you, and this wormed its way into your brain when you should have been thinking about your new life together with your own husband.

The fact that you were more worried about them makes me wonder how interested you were in your own wedding.

Or two, you're so bland you couldn't have been more bland if you and your hus-bland wore bland khaki slacks and drove a Dodge Bland Caravan to the Blandness conference in Blanding, Utah.

If a pregnant bridesmaid and her TAH could outshine you, you must have been so unremarkable that even the part where you stood in a gorgeous white dress in front of a roomful of people wasn't enough to divert their attention away from Anna and her sticky-outy belly.

The problem isn't Anna, it's you. You need to take a good long look at your life and see if you're just so incredibly boring or if you're actually being a selfish a-hole.

(Because the consensus on Reddit is that yes, you're the a-hole.)

Although thanks to the global coverage your story is getting, it looks like you're finally getting way more attention than Anna ever got. Mazel tov!

I'm going to release my new novel, Mackinac Island Nation, in the next couple months. If you want to receive updates about its release, as well as get this column in your inbox, sign up for my email newsletter.

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What is wrong with you, Well Actually Guy? How did you become that one annoying guy on Facebook who responds to every opinion with "Well, actually. . ."

"Well, actually" you'll explain the punchlines of jokes.

"Well, actually," you'll argue about a single statistic in a news article for hours.

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We should call it "wagging," or use the hashtag #WAG. As in, "Did you just #WAG me?"