If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today ...
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's infamous sketch "Who's on first?" might have
turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTTABBOTT: Super Duper computer
store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm
setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.ABBOTT: Mac?COSTELLO: No, the name's
Lou.ABBOTT: Your computer?COSTELLO: I don't own a
computer. I want to buy one.ABBOTT: Mac?COSTELLO: I told you, my
name's Lou.ABBOTT: What about Windows?COSTELLO: Why? Will it get
stuffy in here?ABBOTT: Do you want a
computer with Windows?COSTELLO: I don't know. What
will I see when I look in the windows?ABBOTT: Wallpaper.COSTELLO: Never mind the
windows. I need a computer and software.ABBOTT: Software for
Windows?COSTELLO: No. On the
computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run
my business. What have you
got?ABBOTT: Office.COSTELLO: Yeah, for my
office. Can you recommend anything?ABBOTT: I just did.COSTELLO: You just did what?ABBOTT: Recommend something.COSTELLO: You recommended
something?ABBOTT: Yes.COSTELLO: For my office?ABBOTT: Yes.COSTELLO: OK, what did you
recommend for my office?ABBOTT: Office.COSTELLO: Yes, for my
office!ABBOTT: I recommend Office
with Windows.COSTELLO: I already have an
office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to
type a proposal. What do I
need?ABBOTT: Word.COSTELLO: What word?ABBOTT: Word in Office.COSTELLO: The only word in
office is office.ABBOTT: The Word in Office
for Windows.COSTELLO: Which word in
office for windows?ABBOTT: The Word you get
when you click the blue "W".COSTELLO: I'm going to click
your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that.
Can I watch movies on the Internet?ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real
One.COSTELLO: Maybe a real one,
maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I
need!ABBOTT: Real One.COSTELLO: If it's a long
movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?ABBOTT: Of course.COSTELLO: Great! With what?ABBOTT: Real One.COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my
computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?ABBOTT: You click the blue
"1".COSTELLO: I click the blue
one what?ABBOTT: The blue "1".COSTELLO: Is that different
from the blue w?ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real
One and the blue "W" is Word.COSTELLO: What word?ABBOTT: The Word in Office
for Windows.COSTELLO: But there's three
words in "office for windows"!ABBOTT: No, just one. But
it's the most popular Word in the world.COSTELLO: It is?ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair,
there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words
out there.COSTELLO: And that word is
real one?ABBOTT: Real One has nothing
to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start
that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my
money with?ABBOTT: Money.COSTELLO: That's right. What
do you have?ABBOTT: Money.COSTELLO: I need money to
track my money?ABBOTT: It comes bundled
with your computer.COSTELLO: What's bundled
with my computer?ABBOTT: Money.COSTELLO: Money comes with
my computer?ABBOTT: Yes. No extra
charge.COSTELLO: I get a bundle of
money with my computer? How much?ABBOTT: One copy.COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal
to copy money?ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a
license to copy Money.COSTELLO: They can give you
a license to copy money?ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN
IT!A FEW DAYS LATER . . .ABBOTT: Super Duper
computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: How do I turn my
computer off?ABBOTT: Click on
"START".......