RIP Hugh Hefner. Many are criticizing him now, but he achieved a level of success that insulated him from all criticism in his time. The white man's dream - be so successful that no one can say shit about you. He wasn't a gross horny lech. He was THE gross horny lech, and iconic at it. If you want to call him out for his behavior it's a little late at this point.

He was 91 years old and still living a teenage boy's fantasy. That's been weird and depressing (rather than simply disgusting) for at least twenty years now, and his passing comes as a relief, probably to Hef as well. Best to disinfect that whole place now, one way or another.

Hef tried hard to make pornography inoffensive and even classy, to create a magazine that men could feel good about. It's not a joke that people read Playboy for the articles, and even the comics. It was a high-quality magazine, even if by nature steeped in 60s misogynism - that is, misogyny as a philosophy and lifestyle.

Hefner was himself a failed cartoonist who made life hell for the great cartoonists who worked for him (Jack Cole! Harvey Kurtzman!), requesting thousands of changes. He also paid $500 per page, in 1960s dollars. Try getting paid $100 a page as a comics artist now.

Some would even call him progressive, since despite its Barbie doll ideal, he and his magazine were horny over women of all races, and trans women. I don't think that makes one of the most regressive forces in our media into a progressive, but in a time when the GOP is ready to bring back witch-burning, it's something nice to say about Hef if you're forced to at gunpoint.

Now that he's gone, we'll probably hear a lot of terrifying stories about him, and we'll let those chips fall where they may.

Hugh Hefner is irreplaceable, because where else would we find some slimy creep in a bathrobe willing to make millions (billions) objectifying women and selling pornography? Well, okay, you could find a Hugh Hefner anywhere. But he got there first, and with a misplaced sense of perfectionism that made the whole enterprise curiously plastic and anodyne. Something there for the psychiatrist to figure out.

( Inventing the Anime genre: ) Okay, first we animate at 6 frames per second. Then we forget what a human face looks like, and how mouths work. Half of it's robots and half of it's porn. And here's the genius part: THEY'RE THE SAME HALF

I've got an idea for a cartoon series. I think it's a billion dollar idea, bear with me.

It's about this ugly old one-eyed sailor. He talks to himself all the time, muttering under his breath. He's got elephantitis in his forearms and kids love him because he vastly overestimates the health benefits of canned spinach. There was this study back around WWII where they misplaced a decimal point and thought spinach was full of iron, you get the idea.

He's got this girlfriend. She's skinny as a rail but not in a sexy way. She looks like she's made out of garden hoses. She keeps getting kidnapped by this pirate who's built like King Kong. That's the will they or won't they. Will she choose the ugly old one-eyed sailor or this big rapist pirate?

In the last two minutes of every cartoon, the sailor eats out of a can and suddenly he's the strongest guy in the world. He punches birds, punches fish, he punches the moon. It ends with him telling us what his name is.

They said he can't win, that he's too full of hateBut they've gerrymandered districts in every stateFrom Russia with love came a cyberattackGee, it sure would be a shame, if our voting machines got hacked

While Vice President PenceThinks you're evil if you're gayThere's a climate denier destroying the EPAWhen a hurricane hitPuerto Rico lost all powerTrump said, not gonna help youBut here's some paper towels

TAYLOR SWIFT: It hurt, you know? I felt lost and betrayed.PSYCHOLOGIST: And what do we do when someone hurts us? We ...TS: Snake it off.P: Exactly. Wait, did you say "snake?"TS: Like the villain from Aladdin.P: That's notTS: Let me show you how ssssssnakelike I can beP: No

- Offers a luncheon of steamed clams, then emerges with hamburgers- Calls hamburgers "steamed hams"- Claims this is an upstate New York dialect, but I'm from Utica and have never heard the expression- His old family recipe is suspiciously similar to the food at Krusty Burger- Calls them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.- Claims there is Aurora Borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within his kitchen, and that I cannot see it- Is an odd fellow