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ANTM: Dragging out the competition

Everyone’s favorite TV competition (or mine, at least) is clearly having an effect on other shows. We’ve experienced epic shade-throwing on “Project Runway.” Nicki Minaj’s use of the word “hunty” on “American Idol.”

And now, full-on drag courtesy of “America’s Next Top Model.”

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MODELING? Tyra Banks, I can’t with you all the timemost of the time sometimes a lot.

Before we get to the gender-bending hot messes, Jourdan, who earned last week’s best photo, informs us again that she was married and in an abusive relationship. Also, Jourdan annoys everyone. Except Nina, who I’m really starting to love because she just seems like a nice, nice, nice person.

I LOVE YOU NINA.

Best photo also means you control phone privileges. One hour total for everyone to call home. Jourdan gives herself and Nina 10 minutes each and gives the rest of the house five minutes each. Which adds up to 70 minutes. Which is more than an hour. OK then.

But it doesn’t matter, because Jourdan gets on the phone with her boyfriend and whines about her “maturity level is so above theirs” and goes well past 10 minutes. AND I HAVE THE TYRA SUITE SO NO ONE CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.

No ma’am.

The rest of the models flip, particularly Renee, who get CRUNK when Jourdan hurls an f-bomb. Watch out, Jourdan, because Renee will SLAP THE STUPID OUTTA YOU. (That actually might be a good thing.) Jeremy, of course, rushes to Jourdan’s defense. It’s kinda sad, really.

Hey! What’s worse than Bryanboy leading a challenge? Perez Hilton joining him WHY. AND THAT OUTFIT WHY PEREZ HILTON. It’s seriously one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.

The models must conduct on-the-street interviews and are fed questions by Perez and Bryanboy. Yes, it’s as ridiculous and as terrible as it sounds. Jeremy takes off his shirt and wins the challenge. Jiana bombs it, though it’s never really clear why. And Marvin, clearly not a Perez fan, refuses to embarrass his interview subjects and instead gives out hugs. It’s sweet, in a naive and clueless way. (Nevermind that we see him later talking mess about Jourdan with some of the other guys.)

Jeremy takes off his shirt and wins the challenge. His prize is a romantic dinner with another model. He chooses Jourdan, duh, who takes the time to relay her pre-”ANTM” life.

YOU KNOW MY STORY RIGHT. I WAS MARRIED.

We know, Jourdan. We know.

This week’s shoot is a commercial for fake cologne/perfume Questionable. That’s a hint, of course of the drag twist. The guys will be made up as girls and vice versa. They’re also paired up and given an overall theme: preppy, business, goth, etc.

Look, I’m all for silly fun and out-of-the-box photos. But what does any of this have to do with modeling? Why are the guys and girls always paired up? Why aren’t the hairy guys required to shave their faces?

Does Jourdan actually say things like this in real life? “I literally come from a town that it’s just white people. And maybe some Hispanics. I had no idea what gothic is.”

Phil gets lots of love for his scene. But it’s way too over the top for me. In a previous cycle, he would have been scolded for not taking it seriously. (Also, Jiana. GURL. He has a girlfriend. Just stop.)

Goth couple Jourdan and Jeremy share an award kiss. So do Starvin’ Marvin and Renee, featuring way too much tongue. I love Renee’s energy, though, in the scene. And Marvin actually pulls off a plausible drag queen for the most part and looks eerily like cycle 5′s Coryn. (Am I really rating their success as drag queens on a modeling show?)

Marvin, left, and cycle 5′s Coryn. TWINSIES. (The CW)

Nina looks like Justin Bieber, complete with exaggerated swag. And I could honestly see Chris onstage at any gay bar. He nails the mannerisms and humor. Kanani and Don also work it out.

Alexandra, who has been struggling to register among bigger personalities, gets the boot. We’re still trimming the fat, y’all. But right now, I’d say the only girl with a real shot at winning is Nina. Otherwise, it’s a guy’s game, with Marvin, Phil and Chris clearly on top of the pack. What say you?

Note: This is a seattlepi.com reader blog. It is not written or edited by the P-I. The authors are solely responsible for content. E-mail us at newmedia@seattlepi.com if you consider a post inappropriate..