Thoughts of a Singaporean mother living in UK

Visiting family and friends in Singapore during this
CNY period. Reading news about the
government’s white paper on population growth for 2030. Reading on
the difficulties of getting Singaporeans to have more babies. Just
some thoughts on my mind:
I am not a ‘talent’ that went overseas nor do I consider myself a
‘quitter’... I just happened to meet someone in UK while working
short term in UK…. got married and started a family in UK… for my
own nostalgic thoughts, my family, my friends, I often had thoughts
of returning to Singapore for good with my hubby and kids… but…
hmm… being in Singapore now makes me really think thrice….
1) the work culture… how am I going to adapt working long hours and
returning home late, not spending a lot of time with my kids liaoz?
I really hate to think about it. At the moment, I am able to leave
work on time at 5pm in UK, get home at 6pm, cook and have family
meals with my family. I think most likely, I will not have this
luxury in Singapore… and I will hate it….
2) the competiveness of parents on their children… goodness… my 4
year-old niece in ‘tuition’ and many other children of my friends
in ‘enrichment classes’... i just want my 3 year-old and 1 year-old
to have a happy childhood!! I can understand the parents’ anxiety
about their children lagging behind when they get to P1, but I
really want MY children to have a happy childhood like I do! .....I
would not like to have this ‘stress’ on me…hmm….
3) child care…. with my own parents getting old, there’s no way
they can help… i know i can get maids, put the children in
nursery/infant care etc…. but if I want to have more than 2
children, the financial burden will be too much…. if I look after
them myself, then my husband will have to work harder (longer
hours??!!) and there will again be sacrifice on his part on family
life…. hmm…
These are all in my mind when I am here now in Singapore observing
the whole issue… i love children and would love to have more than 2
children… but to bring them up in UK or here? hmm….

If I am you, I will not even consider Singapore. If
it is the Singapore of yesteryears,, yes to it. Now
what we have in Singapore is a spoilt brat , irresponsible, and
arrogant PM who cares only for money making and fulfilling his own
desires at the expense of the people.

hmm…. the thing is, I do miss my family and friends in
singapore….. pros and cons of living in UK as well…. welfare comes
at a price – middle income person like me needs to contribute about
30% taxes… and I always feel like a foreigner here….

hmm…. the thing is, I do miss my family and friends in
singapore….. pros and cons of living in UK as well…. welfare comes
at a price – middle income person like me needs to contribute about
30% taxes… and I always feel like a foreigner here….

well, in singapore, we do feel like foreigners in our own
country. Foreigners make up 40 percent of the population in
Singapore. Many jobs are given to foreigners, that is
why in recent years many singaporeans have difficulty finding
jobs.

Companies rather employ foreigners from some kind of
unrecognized universities than local singaporeans.
Low skilled and professional jobs are given to many foreigners.

hmm…. the thing is, I do miss my family and friends in
singapore….. pros and cons of living in UK as well…. welfare comes
at a price – middle income person like me needs to contribute about
30% taxes… and I always feel like a foreigner here….

if the pappies have their way for the white paper, it will be
lagi worse. singaporeans becoming minority in their own country is
worse than what u r having in UK.

whatever u decide to do ultimately, please leave some leeway for
yourself and your kids in the UK, should things got worse here in
sinkieland. people like us want to get out also cannot, so please
treasure the global mobility u have. Dun ever ditch away your and
your kid's UK passport.

Many of us want to get out of Singapore but we do not have the
means. You have the privilege of living overseas,
treasure it though I know times are pretty bad there in UK.
Somehow, I believe the economy there will turn around.

Things will be better in the UK, and the rest are right. You
have an opportunity that many many people don't have. You should
grab it with both hands! Having lived overseas for awhile, i can
tell you life is so much better.

I know what you are going through while living overseas…as you
said, you don’t feel like fit in overthere and you miss your family
in Singapore, but I think your spouse and children do feel at home
there. So, if you think about your children…I think you just be
there and you will feel better once the economy there picks up
again.

If you really so desperate to return home to Singapore or just
to be close to your family in Singapore….then you be on your own
without your spouse and kids…you want that to happen?

thanks for all the views…. i am actually still holding to the
Singapore passport though my children have dual citizenships at the
moment (they will need to renounce one when they get to 21).... in
a way, i know i sound selfish in wanting to return to singapore for
my own wish of being with my family n friends…. i think the ideal
situation may b to win the lottery and b able to own a place in
singapore to ‘test’ for 6 months to a year…. maybe then i will know
where i ‘belong’... hmm…..

thanks for all the views…. i am actually still holding to the
Singapore passport though my children have dual citizenships at the
moment (they will need to renounce one when they get to 21).... in
a way, i know i sound selfish in wanting to return to singapore for
my own wish of being with my family n friends…. i think the ideal
situation may b to win the lottery and b able to own a place in
singapore to ‘test’ for 6 months to a year…. maybe then i will know
where i ‘belong’... hmm…..

If I am you, I will not even consider Singapore. If
it is the Singapore of yesteryears,, yes to it. Now
what we have in Singapore is a spoilt brat , irresponsible, and
arrogant PM who cares only for money making and fulfilling his own
desires at the expense of the people.

I've been living in the US for the last 16 years, and 2 years
ago had toyed with the thought of moving back to SG. I even went to
the effort of going for interviews when I was on vacation in
SG.

I get to visit SG every year since I'm in the region for
business, and SG always appears very vibrant and dynamic, with so
many new things going on. Compared to where I live in the US, where
all the stores and restaurants close by 9pm, SG is so much more
"happening".

However, after discussing this with friends and family, I soon
realized that the SG work-life balance is very negatively skewed.
Forget about leaving work at 6pm if you're in middle management or
above. The population density is crazy, and things are getting so
much more expensive.

Therefore, I've decided to stay in the US until I retire, when I
will probably migrate back to SG based on the convenience of living
in a housing estate with shops and amenities close by.

The SG that I yearn for in the mid 90's is no longer there, so
I've told myself to get over it and move on.

But back to your point, please consider carefully about how much
of a lifestyle change you and your family will need to endure if
you do move from the UK to SG. You didn't mention which part of the
UK you live in, but I assume it's a stark difference from SG in
terms of weather, culture, food, etc.

In the end, if you do plan to make a move, it could be temporary
to get your feet wet and see if you really do want to stay long
term.