Monday, 13 February 2017

A DIFFERENT LOVE STORY

This season
of love, I saw a film, a love story with a difference. ‘The Case Against 8’, an
HBO American Documentary film, showcased the legal battle to overturn
California’s Proposition 8, a ballot initiative, and a California State
Constitutional amendment, passed in the November 2008 elections, which said
that “only marriagebetween a man and a woman is valid and
recognized in California”. A question continues to be asked, ‘If marriage
is a relationship between two people who love one another then why can
homosexual couples not be given the stamp of law to live together respectably?’

The gay
agenda has since long alleged and argued about homosexuality being natural; but
they have often been questioned with the eternal query of their incapability of
procreation. There is also the CDC (The Centre for Disease Control) which
reveals to us several risk factors involved in same sex partners. To add to it,
there is the lobby of the Psychiatric Association which believes in its
research and says that the LGBT people are at a higher risk of suicidal
thoughts and deliberate self-harm.

Those with a
religious frame of mind also showcase the Biblical verses which speak against
such a relationship. They believe that disobedience of age old wisdom will only
bring about decay in the society.

Romans 1:27, “Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in
their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and
receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.” The next
verse, Romans 1:28 goes on to tell
us that when we fail to stay connected to our creator, we are likely to become
slaves of the lusts of the world. “And
even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over
to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting.”

Matthew
Vines, an LGBT activist, well known for his You Tube video “The Gay Debate: TheBible
and Homosexuality” and his book “God
and the Gay Christian” however questions the contextual truth of the above
verses. He points out that in the Biblical times same-sex behaviour was
primarily seen happening between adult men and adolescent male servants. These
adult men were married to women and yet lustfully went in search of young lad
prostitutes. He points out that in such relationships, there was no mention of
love, commitment or faithfulness and so it was obvious then that homosexuality
was rebuked and viewed as sinful and lustful. To assert his need for a changed
manner of thinking, Vines points out that Paul as he spoke to the Romans, also
condemned women from speaking in the church; but today we do find women pastors
everywhere.

Now to be
the devil’s advocate, the questions one can put forward to the so called
‘straight’ people are, ‘Aren’t you scared of overpopulating the world and
shouldn’t you thank the LGBT for the benefit of their inability to procreate?’
Also, aren’t there enough sexually transmitted diseases in the so called normal
relationships and wouldn’t it be unfair to shift the blame on LGBT in totality?
As concerning the area of depression, couldn’t it be that if the rate of
suicide is large with the LGBT, it is because of the ‘repression’ and the
‘rejection’ of the ‘who they are’ and not because of the ‘what they naturally
are’? That if they were not to face the embarrassment of not being straight,
wouldn’t there definitely be a drop in their self-destructive tendencies?’

The truth of
life is indeed difficult to arrive at! Arguments about the real and the unreal,
the natural and the unnatural could go on endlessly but as men and women we
have the power to choose. To exercise that power is again our choice. Life
offers us many ways of living, and it is obvious that when we are unable to
make right decisions for ourselves, we inevitably end up in complicated
situations.

As humans,
we surely have a right to live our life the way we feel best suites us;
provided it does not hurt or cause inconvenience to others. This is exactly the
reason why, from the beginning of civilization mankind has tried to make laws,
which if everyone were to follow would lead to a problem free life. Take for
example the law of wearing a helmet while riding a two-wheeler. A biker may
feel more comfortable without a helmet and justify his not wearing one, saying
that he feels lighter without it and that he is more relaxed in its absence.
Need we say more after the number of accidents reported due to such
disobedience of the law? If research shows us, that going away from the usual
pattern of relationships causes a good amount of mental, emotional and physical
damage, then shouldn’t we as intelligent human beings learn from the mistakes
of the others or should we always insist on experiencing everything firsthand?
Or should we further argue and point out the mental, emotional and physical
damages which also occur in the usual relationships? Even if this is true,
should we not desist from creating more such damage? In Jude 1:7 we read that, “as
Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these
having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh,
are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance ofeternal fire”. The flames of fire may
look attractive to a child who rushes to put his hands into it hoping that he
will be able to catch its rising movement, but the mother who is aware of the
natural law, is the one who holds him back from any inevitable harm. Could we
say then, that to rush into love of another kind is foolish and that ‘Fools
rush in where angels fear to tread’? The man, who refuses to wear a helmet
while riding a two-wheeler, when he meets with an accident, is not always the
only one who gets hurt. A majority of times he causes hurt to innocent people
around him and if the accident proves fatal for him, then he leaves behind a
very pained family for no fault of theirs. Isn’t such behaviour a kind of
intoxication, with defiance of laws? Shouldn’t we be worried then when we break
a law such as the one mentioned in Leviticus
18:22, “You shall not lie with a
male as with a woman. It is an abomination.” Probably it is here that
Matthew Vines begins his contextual argument, in relation with the times of the
Biblical writings; where he points out the sexual relationship of men with male
child servants. But surely the writers of those times did not lack in
vocabulary and could have certainly mentioned the word child to be most
precise? The lust mentioned in Romans is not between men and male children. The
words are crystal clear when they say in Romans
1:27 “......burned in their lust for one another, men with men
committing what is shameful,.....”

On the other
side of the world of the Biblical text, there are the Hindu Mythologies, which
showcase a good amount of different sexual behaviour. The walls of the Hindu
temples show erotic images which the modern laws of the world today deem
unnatural.

All rules
can be seen to be broken on those walls. Could we dismiss such images as
perverted versions of the artist? Some puritanical thinkers believe that such
perversions sculpted in stones were the works of degenerate minds at a
particular time in the history of India and some believe that the images
represented the crudeness in intimate relationships of the flesh which needed
to be left out before entering the temples.

There are
stories too in the epics that would be worth considering. In Valmiki’s
Ramayana, Hanuman is mentioned to having seen Rakshasa women kissing and embracing
each other. These were the women who had been kissed and embraced by the demon
king Ravana. Could we here conclude that the texts then were attempting to tell
us that same-sex relationships were demon induced?

Srila
Prabhupada of the Krishna Consciousness, believes that heterosexual desires can
be accommodated with the grihastha-ashrama, but that there is no scope of
accommodating homosexual desires. For men who express homosexual attraction to
men, he recommends marriage to a woman. To cut it short, it is like saying that
within the Vedic culture, marriage channelizes lust in an acceptable manner. In
the Srimad Bhagavatam purport 3.20.26, Srila Prabhupada says, “The homosexual
appetite of a man for another man is demoniac and is not for any sane man in
the ordinary course of life.” Some followers in fact go to the extent of
believing that even heterosexual desires are a perverted reflection of one’s
original love for Krishna. However, they accept that homosexuality is not
uncommon today but this is due to the influence of the Kali-yuga.

The story of the birth of mankind, Adam and
Eve tells us that God wanted love between the two. This was the actual design
the creator wanted for his creation which got perverted in numerous ways by the
fallen man. When in the beginning of creation God made Adam, He said, “It is not good that the man should be
alone; I will make him a helper as his partner” Gen. 2:18, and so He
proceeded to make a woman for the man. Mind well, He made Eve and not Steve for
the man. The original plan as can be seen from what we read, was that this
couple would work together to help flourish the Garden of Eden, but could it be
that some Rakshasa wanted destruction of this plan and changed the equation of
the sexes?

It is
interesting to note that it is believed that the laws prohibiting ‘unnatural’
sex were imposed across the world through the imperial might. Some believe that
such laws were the product of minds that were deeply influenced by the ‘sex is
sin’ stance of the religious text of the Christians – the Bible. However, in Genesis 2:25 it says, “Now although the man and his wife were
both naked, neither of them was embarrassed or ashamed.” Where then is the concept of sin and shame?

As my mind
goes wondering on the journey of the why and the how of such gay relationships,
a whisper asks me, “In this world which appears to have taken an oath of
self-destruction and goes warring with hate; a world where we repeatedly hear
of stories of rape where heterosexuals reveal their basest selves to us,
shouldn’t we allow people who wish to live in peace, live the way in which they
feel best suited to?”

Life is
surely a commitment between all people to live in peace and simplicity. The
straight people are the ones who are undiluted in their honesty, and who aren’t
evasive but upright, unbiased and without any malice in their thoughts.

As a
community of human beings, shouldn’t we consider the crooked married men who
visit prostitutes, in line of worrying worthy matter, rather than waste our
precious time criticizing people who wish to stay in a relationship in all
honesty? Shouldn’t we put our thoughts of violence and hate under scan and get
them corrected before we deal with people who love differently?

If we then
were to go through such self-analytical exercise, how many of us would be truly
STRAIGHT? In our world, there is no dirt of unfaithfulness in many
relationships, if then we have some people who desire to be committed and
monogamous in their same sex relationships, wouldn’t we be the finger pointing
hypocrites?

Heterosexual
couples, who cheat on one another or who fail to hold hands even in their
differences or who oppress one another in pride of their knowledge or sexual
supremacy are in a sorry state of togetherness. In fact they could be called
sinners because they choose to live in dead relationships as compared to those
homosexual couples who live with commitment and cherish honesty and love in
their relationships.

Ultimately,
every soul is important and if we claim to be so great, then most certainly let
us share our great knowledge with all, but let us not take away their decision
making powers. Let not a brother, fight a brother because he believes himself
to be better, let the work of judgement be left to the Father.

We
definitely need not accept a thought if we do not agree with it; but let us be
able to at least hear it out. As someone rightly said, “We are all sinners, judging sinners, for sinning differently.”

A
transgender once asked me, why the so called normal and straight people, seem
to be so very upset with the Pride Marches, when he very willingly goes for
their Pride Marches- their weddings? How would it be if the LGBT began claiming
that their kind of world and love was the correct kind, and that the others
were perverts? He further added that when little boys began writing love poems
to girls, he desired to write them to boys. He indeed felt that he was a woman
caught in a man’s body. This wasn’t something I hadn’t heard before, and
wondered if he had ever given a thought to a sub-conscious mind which had
received some kind of different information in his childhood? Could there have
been some incidents in his life as an infant, which had triggered the future
happenings in spite of him being unaware of them? Well, haven’t we all heard of
cases of infant molestation?

If marriage
is a relationship between two people, then life is an art of relationship to
exist peacefully between ideologies. Let us be more humble unlike the military
authority who gave a medal for killing two and a discharge for loving one.

Probably,
when there is too much evil all around, the only alternative left is to choose
the lesser evil. But then Psalm 119:2 and 3 says that “Happy are all who search
for God, and always do his will, rejecting compromise with evil, and walking only in his paths.” It is
difficult indeed to continue to walk in His plans when the world at large is
walking the Pride Marches, one may also have to face rebuke from the world. Psalm
119:22 “Don’t let them scorn me for obeying you.”

Let us then not
be holier than thou and say that the only thing we can do is to pray for all
those who have strayed from the STRAIGHT path. Because, prayer is not an
expression of being better than the other; it is a voice of love and
friendship. Prayer is an expression of silence in which we do not force
decisions on others but present them in submission on our knees.

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Ruby Malshe

Ruby Malshe lives in India, teaches at Wilson College in Mumbai and believes there is a story unfolding every minute somewhere in this beautiful world. One only needs to be attentive to notice it, hold it in ones heart and hum it out to listening ears. The world may in its turn catch it, let it seep deep within and allow it to grow beautifully.