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A magazine of trigger warningsSun, 02 Aug 2015 17:18:50 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.2Chelsea hand it to Arsenal: Jose Mourinho loses with the winnershttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421665/sports/chelsea-hand-it-to-arsenal-jose-mourinho-loses-with-the-winners.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421665/sports/chelsea-hand-it-to-arsenal-jose-mourinho-loses-with-the-winners.html/#commentsSun, 02 Aug 2015 17:18:50 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421665Having seen his Chelsea side lose to Arsenal in the Community Shield season opener, Jose Mourinho make palava of the post-match handshake. For those only versed in the Premier League era, shaking hands was once the perfunctory act of players and gentlemen. It’s now more loaded than George Bush a frat house party.

Mourinho stood at the foot of the stairs and made a point of shaking the hand of every single member of the victorious Arsenal team as they passed. All except one: Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger.

The Chelsea boss then sashayed off down the tunnel but not before chucking his runner-up medal into the crowd.

In Jose’s defence, shaking and not shaking have both cast aspersions on his grasps of etiquette and sportsmanship. Aston Villa’s then bosses Paul Lambert and Roy Keane complained about the being offered Mourinho’s hand to shake, albeit before the match was over. Poor Jose can’t do right for doing wrong.

We, meanwhile, wait the next time Mourinho and Wenger, looking forward to Sky TV’s five hours of pre-grapple handshake talk and if now if the time for fist bumps.

November 1963: Pop singer Cilla Black, the Liverpudlian lovely discovered by The Beatles, later famous as a television personality and presenter. (Photo by Chris Ware/Keystone Features/Getty Images)

24th April 1963: Pop singer Cilla Black (left) talking to a friend at the Liverpool music venue The Cavern, where The Beatles had a residency early in their career. (Photo by John Pratt/Keystone Features/Getty Images)

1964: English pop singer and television entertainer Cilla Black and a greyhound called ‘Ringo’ at the Waldorf Hotel, Aldwych to make the draw for the first round of the national inter-track championship. (Photo by Sydney O’Meara/Evening Standard/Getty Images)

1964: Pop singer Cilla Black with managerand promoter Brian Epstein (1934 – 1967). She is holding the Silver Disc for her record, ‘Anyone who had a Heart’ (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Portrait of actor David Warner and singer Cilla Black sitting in the bucket of a mechanical excavator, filming a scene for ‘Work is a Four-Letter Word’, April 18th 1967. (Photo by Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Portrait of bands ‘Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas’ and ‘Gerry and the Pacemakers’, holding up the singer Cilla Black, March 23rd 1964. (Photo by Larry Ellis/Express/Getty Images)

21st July 1964: Fifteen year old Beverley Hadden teaching Cilla Black a dance routine for her performance in the charity gala ‘Night of 100 Stars’ at the London Palladium. (Photo by Central Press/Getty Images)

17th August 1964: Liverpudlian singer and television personality Cilla Black signing autographs for fans outside the London Palladium. (Photo by Larry Ellis/Express/Getty Images)

circa 1965: L to r. TV presenter Cathy McGowan and on right, pop star and TV show hostess Cilla Black posing on the beach while on holiday in Portugal. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

19th January 1968: A press conference attended by (from left) Brian Jones, Donovan, Ringo Starr, John Lennon, Cilla Black and Paul McCartney to launch the pop group ‘Grapefruit’, whose records will be released on the Beatles Apple label. ‘Grapefruit’ are (from left) George Alexander, Pete Swettenham, Geoffrey Swettenham and John Perry. (Photo by Keystone/Getty Images)

4th August 1965: English pop singer Cill Black in posing with some policemen in New York. (Photo by Harry Benson/Express/Getty Images)

Sixties personalities, from left to right, Cilla Black, Petula Clark and Sandie Shaw, at the Dorchester Hotel, London, for a Variety Club luncheon. (Photo by Fred Mott/Getty Images)

Pop singer Cilla Black during a photocall backstage at the London Palladium. (Photo by Evening Standard/Getty Images)

Singer and TV presenter Cilla Black poses with a group of fans, 22nd October 1973. She is wearing a suit in a checked pattern by Tommy Nutter. (Photo by Tim Graham/EveningStandard/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

6th August 1970: Pop singer and TV star Cilla Black with her husband and manager Bobby Willis and their baby. (Photo by Evening Standard/Getty Images)

Pop singers Cilla Black (left), Cliff Richard and Lulu with their awards at the ‘Disc and Music Echo’ Valentine Awards ceremony at the Cafe Royal in London. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

25th January 1969: Newlywed pop singer Cilla Black listens to her husband manager Bobby Willis giving his speech at their wedding reception held at the Adelphi Hotel, Liverpool after the wedding ceremony at the Catholic Church of St Mary’s. The couple had already been married at a registry office in London. (Photo by Keystone Features/Getty Images)

25th January 1969: Pop singer and TV star Cilla Black and her husband and manager Bobby Willis, give a backward glance as they leave Marylebone register office in a car after their wedding. (Photo by Michael Webb/Keystone/Getty Images)

January 1969: Pop singer and TV star Cilla Black with her manager and husband at their second marriage ceremony , the first was in Marylebone Registry office in London and this one is in the Catholic church of St Mary’s in Liverpool. (Photo by Keystone Features/Getty Images)

Katie Hopkins is having an operation on her brain. The Sun’s vile-to-deadline columnist gives the newspaper an “exclusive” in much the same way a baby gives their parent an exclusive look at their filled nappy. But let’s not knock Katie because this is serious.

In case you missed the drama of this, Dan Wootton (not a brain surgeon) thunders:

KATIE Hopkins has revealed she is having open brain surgery this year — and may die.

Or may not die. It’s tempting to add in a Big Brother-style voiceover ‘You decide!’ – but this is serious:

Choking with emotion, 40-year-old Katie told The Sun in an exclusive interview: “I have decided I’m having the surgery this year.

“They take some of your head off and then wake you up and talk to you and get you to move your arm and leg as they remove part of your brain.

“The part they need to take out for me is in deep…

“There’s a 40 per cent chance I could get rid of it altogether. But there’s a 20 per cent chance I would lose my left arm or leg – I could end up paralysed.

“There’s also a one per cent chance I will die.”

As bookmakers produce a Katie Hopkins pie chart of odds on each eventuality, she adds:

“I’ve got the letter confirming I’m having the operation, but I haven’t been able to open it yet.”

Save it for the TV show, Katie. Because, as the Sun adds by way of a footnote, “IF Katie Hopkins Ruled The World starts this Thursday, 10pm on TLC.”

Are we being invited to watch the world’s reality TV death? Is Katie’s operation to coincide with the season’s finale?

Thoughts turn to the woman’s three children, one of whom is autistic:

“She didn’t talk until she was three. If you smile at her or cry, she wouldn’t know what you were feeling. But she’s acutely brilliant at memory.

“If she reads the TV pages she could tell you what’s on next week on all channels and in all time slots by looking at it for two minutes.”

Big deal. Anyone whose ever been at a BBC TV production meeting can do that: EastEnders. News. Panel Game Show. EastEnders. News. Bargain Hunt. Celebrity On Holiday. And on TLC at 10pm, The Death of Katie Hopkins – Maybe (to be repeated throughout the day with bonus behind-the-scenes footage on ITVBe).

For 40-year-old Katie, the thought of leaving them without a mother has become all too real. And I watched as she broke down in tears.

‘I watched a woman cry’, says Dan Wootton.

There’s a TV show in that.

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421625/tv/katie-hopkins-death-appears-in-the-tv-schedules.html/feed/0Joey Barton remade in Kew: reared in Liverpool on the oxygen of violencehttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421618/news/joey-barton-remade-in-kew-reared-in-liverpool-on-the-oxygen-of-violence.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421618/news/joey-barton-remade-in-kew-reared-in-liverpool-on-the-oxygen-of-violence.html/#commentsSat, 01 Aug 2015 07:21:36 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421618Joey Barton has been talking with the Times’ Matthew Syed. Billed “the baddest man in British football”, Barton is now “hardman turned philosopher”, living in London’s leafy Kew with a young family and burning desire to be a better man.

Syed journeys to Barton’s childhood home in Huyton, a few miles from the centre of Liverpool, “where violence was as much a part of his upbringing as oxygen.”

Barton, who at junior level wore the colours of Everton and Liverpool, and played professionally for Manchester City, Newcastle, Marseilles and QPR, is happy to talk.

On Education:

“I started attending a course at Roehampton University last year. I go to lectures every Tuesday and Thursday during term and have become really good friends with Raj [Seghal], the lecturer. I am not saying I am superintelligent, but there is nothing to stop you expanding your mind if you have the focus and discipline. You can learn so much about the world and, even more importantly, about yourself.”

On Religion:

“My main target is religion. I don’t like the way that it stops people thinking for themselves. I really believe that philosophy should replace religious education on the school curriculum. People should be given the tools to try to understand who they are, rather than simply rely on the words of an authority figure, because that can lead to self-improvement.”

On Growing Up:

“Your upbringing and background shape who you are,” he says. “That is inevitable. When you take a step back, it is incredible the extent to which you are moulded by your past, the experiences you had growing up and the assumptions that were rammed into you in your neighbourhood. Where I came from, violence was the norm. It was respected. It showed that you were tough and would not allow yourself to get walked all over. Where I grew up, it was the law of the jungle.”

On Violence:

One small event perhaps symbolises how violence was a way of life. When he was still a child, he was struck by a boy at school. He went home and told his dad. His dad handed him a baseball bat. “Go and hit him. If you don’t, I will give you a good hiding. Unless you fight, unless you hit back hard, you will never get anywhere in this life.”

On Football:

“Football has not just been a way of earning a living. It has also given me an opportunity to move on from my past… Where I grew up, homophobia was normal. There was a lot of racism, too. People were threatened by anyone who was a little bit different. But I have played alongside black players. I have got to know people who are gay. Football has broken down the barriers for me. It helped me to see that the ideas I grew up with were not, like, the absolute truth. There are other ways of thinking about the world. Football, if you like, has been the universal barrier-breaker in my life.”

On Never Escaping The Past:

“I can still feel the wolf inside. Perhaps it will always be there. But I communicate with that part of my character; I have learnt to accept it and control it. When I feel the anger rising, I have much better coping mechanisms. I have good friends, people I can turn to. I have my family. I have philosophy. I cannot say for certain that I will never make a mistake again. I cannot be 100 per cent sure. But I will do everything possible to do the right thing. I am feeling stronger in myself than ever before.”

On Joe For England:

“Management is risky. But I am willing to serve my apprenticeship. I recently exchanged emails with José Mourinho about leadership. I am always looking to learn.”

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL – JULY 30: Israelis wearing Jewish Skull Caps participate in the Gay Pride Parade on July 30, 2015 in Jerusalem, Israel. At least six people were stabbed at Jerusalem’s annual Gay Pride Parade on Thursday. The assailant, an ultra-Orthodox Jew, emerged behind the marchers and began stabbing them while screaming. A police officer then managed to tackle him to the ground and arrest him. (Photo by Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images)

Yishai Schlissel was released from prison three weeks ago after serving 10 years for stabbing marchers at a gay rights parade in 2005. Today he knifed six revellers on a Jerusalem gay rights march.

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL – JULY 30: A wounded Israeli person receives treatment during the gay parade on July 30, 2015 in Jerusalem, Israel. At least six people were stabbed at Jerusalem’s annual Gay Pride Parade on Thursday. The assailant, an ultra-Orthodox Jew, emerged behind the marchers and began stabbing them while screaming. A police officer then managed to tackle him to the ground and arrest him. (Photo by Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images)

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421610/news/yishai-schlissel-photos-orthodox-jew-who-knifed-gays-strikes-again-after-prison-release.html/feed/0Manchester City: Pep Guardiola’s words are twisted into a noosehttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421606/sports/manchester-city-pep-guardiolas-words-are-twisted-into-a-noose.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421606/sports/manchester-city-pep-guardiolas-words-are-twisted-into-a-noose.html/#commentsFri, 31 Jul 2015 18:29:01 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421606Is Pep Guardiola making ready for a move to Manchester City? The Sun says he is. Maybe. After all, the German Press says Pep is off to coach Qatar. But says the Sun:

GUARDIOLA gave a huge hint that he could be heading to Manchester City next season as he admitted he could be ready to leave Bayern Munich.

Hint. Could. Could. Any facts?

And while Guardiola denied claims he has already agreed to leave Munich for Manchester, he fuelled the belief that it is only a matter of time before he pitches up as Manuel Pellegrini’s replacement.

He did? What did the Spanish manager say?

“I have not made a decision yet as to what is best for this club. One year is a long time. I am not convinced whether it is right for the club if I were to extend my contract. I’ll never be a problem for Bayern.

“When I reach a decision, I will talk to [Bayern bosses] Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, Uli Hoeness and Matthias Sammer.

“A year is a long time, three years is a lifetime at a big club.”

Mentions of Manchester City: zero.

“This is the first and last time I’ll talk about this. I have not had any offers from other clubs. I have received no offers. I have read a lot in recent months, but I want to do the best for this club.”

But in the mad world of tabloid reporting, the Sun hears those words and concludes:

Guardiola’s comments effectively leave Pellegrini as a dead man walking with the Chilean entering the final year of his City contract.

Or as Guardiola says:

“I am Bayern Munich coach and I am happy to be here.”

The Sun might be twisting words to fit an agenda, but we remain in awe of the Daily Express, which just presents utter balls as if it were fact:

No. he hasn’t.

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421606/sports/manchester-city-pep-guardiolas-words-are-twisted-into-a-noose.html/feed/0Kendal Calling drugs death: why not label the contents?http://www.anorak.co.uk/421603/news/kendal-calling-drugs-death-why-not-label-the-contents.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421603/news/kendal-calling-drugs-death-why-not-label-the-contents.html/#commentsFri, 31 Jul 2015 18:10:39 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421603In “Teen dies from ‘dodgy drugs’ at festival Police warning as four others are left seriously ill in hospital”, the Sun reports on the death of Christian Pay, 18, a woman in a critical condition and three other men left in serious peril after attending at Cumbria’s Kendal Calling Festival.

Did drugs do it?

Cops have issued a warning about three drugs they believe are linked to the tragedy.

They include a blue tablet with an Adidas logo, a light green tablet with a white fleck and a plain grey tablet with a white fleck.

Why aren’t drugs tested at festivals and raves? Why can’t a customer looking to get off their face at least be able to test the pill for deadly toxins?

Superintendent Justin Bibby says:

“This is a very serious incident and people attending the festival need to be aware of the potential dangers of taking such illegal drugs.”

They know the risks. It’s a fair bet that the woman, aged 29, who is in hospital in a bad way, has at some point in her life seen or heard news that illegal drugs can harm your health.

“You cannot be sure of what the drug contains and therefore could cause fatal consequences. Please for your own safety do not take any illegal drugs.”

But it’s the illegality that make them so enticing, isn’t it? It’s the skulduggery and rebellion associated with the little pill that offers so much thrill.

STUART Baggs is the latest member of the 27 Club — a group of high-profile names who lost their lives aged just 27…

What band was Stuart Baggs in, then? He was in the Alan Sugar And The Apprentices, where he once played a tour guide in an effort to win a work placement at blustering Lord Sugar’s offices in Essex and a lacunae in common sense and self-awareness. Key quote: “I’m not a one-trick pony. I’m not a ten-trick pony. I’m a whole field of ponies and they’re literally all running towards this job.”

Police said that the cause of Stuart Baggs’s death was “unknown” but that there was “nothing to indicate that his death is criminally suspicious”.

But as the praise comes in for the reality TV contestant (he also appeared on Come Dine With Me and Channel Four’s Celebrity Five Go To, with Ed Giddins, a member of The Three Degrees, a retired model and Christopher Biggins), it’s worth looking at what they said when he was alive:

Cailtin Moran (Times):

On the evidence of the first episode, however, Stuart Baggs is this year’s stand-out contestant. A 21-year-old “telecoms entrepreneur” from the Isle of Man — a job title that, given his home town, could mean as little as letting people use the “Next Bus” app on his iPhone for 10p a pop — Baggs has a winning line in sounding like an utter git.

“Where’s my glass ceiling? I don’t have one. I am Stuart Baggs — the brand,” Baggs said, presumably unaware that the reason why he doesn’t have a glass ceiling is because “glass ceiling” is a term that usually refers to institutionalised sexism or racism in a corporate environment, while he, in comparison, is a white man — albeit one borderline handicapped by the amount of Lynx “Control Freak” hair gel on his head.

Andrew Billen:

…after an investigation by Sugar’s computer Rottweiler Bordan Tkachuk, far from owning a field of ponies, he did not even have the telecom licenses he claimed in the Isle of Man. “My advisers looked at me in the boardroom today,” Sugar told the Brand, “and said you were full of s*** basically.”The 21-year-old chancer, who once told the local media that a rival company was folding, was, actually, doomed the moment he greeted the show’s guest star, Margaret Mountford, with a warm “Margaret!”. He felt he knew her. “But you don’t,” she told him.

The Times:

…Baggs has provided more killer lines than any other character on TV in 2010. “I am Stuart Baggs, the brand. I have a certain kind of charisma.” “Everything I touch turns to sold.” “I have to rein in my own extreme masculinity in this task.” “While I am arrogant, it’s a kind of arrogance lite — all the full-fat taste, but half the calories.” When interviewed on The Apprentice: You’re Fired, the thoughts were, again, of “the journey”. Had he learnt? Had he grown? “If I’m going to be honest, I’m still a bit of a cock,” Baggs replied.

RIP.

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421600/celebrities/stuart-baggs-the-apprentice-candidate-chancer-git-and-human-being-dies.html/feed/0Transfer Balls: Manchester United ‘sell’ Di Maria for £44m as De Gea’s price tumbleshttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421598/sports/manchester-united/transfer-balls-manchester-united-sell-di-maria-for-44m-as-de-geas-price-tumbles.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421598/sports/manchester-united/transfer-balls-manchester-united-sell-di-maria-for-44m-as-de-geas-price-tumbles.html/#commentsFri, 31 Jul 2015 08:14:43 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421598Transfer Balls: David De Gea has had a quiet summer. The Manchester United player still plays for Manchester United. But the media narrative invites us to wonder how long for.

LOUIS VAN GAAL does not know where David De Gea’s head is — or Angel Di Maria’s body.

The big kick-off is just over a week away and the Manchester United boss has been left with a goalkeeper clearly distracted and out of form.

De Gea wants to leave Manchester United. In the final year of his contract he can wait a year and head to Real Madrid on a free with the bonus of a massive signing on fee. United would get nothing for their star player.

Or he could do as Angel Di Maria has done and simply not turn up to play. Wanted by PSG, the Sun says “Van Gaal simply does not know where he is”.

British-record signing Di Maria was supposed to join up with the squad last Saturday but failed to get on his flight. Asked where the Argie midfielder was following the defeat to PSG, Van Gaal replied: “Maybe you know.”

When the questioner said he did not, LVG added: “I don’t know that either.”

Is Di Maria in his native Argentina? Have United contacted the local police or the Simon Wiesenthal Center, the outfit that knows more than most about hunting a wanted man with a price on his head in the South American jungles?

United signed Di Maria in a £59.7million deal last summer. They want £50m for him. Anyone paying that will have seen Di Maria’s limp performances last season. Can he really be worth that much?

And if De Gea’s head is turned and his form dips, will he still interest Real?

The Times says De Gea is suffering and United will sell Di Maria for £44m.

De Gea produced an error-strewn display in the 2-0 defeat by PSG in Chicago in the early hours yesterday and Van Gaal admitted that the speculation about the Spaniard was “not favourable” for the goalkeeper or United, only eight days before they play Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford.

Can you make a player play well? De Gea surely has to leave the club.

In addition to the £11.96 million that Di María cost United in wages, the deal with PSG represents a headline £15.6 million loss on the initial fee the club paid Real, although senior sources at Old Trafford claimed that the hit would not be as great as that and that the devaluation of the euro and the club not having to pay out certain performance-related payments and bonuses would limit the losses.

A loss is a loss. Manchester United are a huge club with oodles of cash. So why can’t they sign a genuine world star, or hang on to one?

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421598/sports/manchester-united/transfer-balls-manchester-united-sell-di-maria-for-44m-as-de-geas-price-tumbles.html/feed/0Transfer Balls: Barcelona’s Pedro joins Manchester United from Inter Milan for £4m less than Arsenal paid for himhttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421595/sports/manchester-united/transfer-balls-barcelonas-pedro-joins-manchester-united-from-inter-milan-for-4m-less-than-arsenal-paid-for-him.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421595/sports/manchester-united/transfer-balls-barcelonas-pedro-joins-manchester-united-from-inter-milan-for-4m-less-than-arsenal-paid-for-him.html/#commentsWed, 29 Jul 2015 19:35:26 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421595Transfer Balls: Pedro is leaving Barcelona for Manchester United. Maybe. The media seem undecided. These news reports on the great Pedro are all from the mainstream media:

We meet Jese Rodriguez, 22. We want to know what he has against Chelsea?

“I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m very grateful to the coach for counting on me. He’s shown he has faith in me. I’ll try to make the most of every opportunity I get. Coming back midway through last season as I had to do and not play, then play was far more complicated. I feel better. The injury is well behind me and I feel great. I don’t mind where I play. I like all attacking positions so I can adapt easily.”

Did you get that bit about Chelsea? No, us neither. He made not a single mention of the Blues.

Helpfully, the Express links to its own story about Chelsea hunting Jese.

Real Madrid star Jese Rodriguez will make £15m Chelsea decision in June

It’s July. What decision did he make in June, then? The Express says Jese has been “heavily linked” with Chelsea. But the only story making any link appears in the Express. In April the Express said Jese had a big future at Real Madrid. In January, the Express said Mourinho was ready to bid for Jese in the January transfer window.

To recap: Real Madrid player Jese still plays for Real Madrid. Chelsea never did bid for him.

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421591/news/transfer-balls-chelsea-defy-the-daily-express-with-jese-rodriguez-in-action.html/feed/0Madeleine McCann: 43 unnamed children not found in Australian suitcasehttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421585/madeleine-mccann/madeleine-mccann-43-unnamed-children-not-found-in-australian-suitcase.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421585/madeleine-mccann/madeleine-mccann-43-unnamed-children-not-found-in-australian-suitcase.html/#commentsWed, 29 Jul 2015 17:30:42 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421585Madeleine McCann: the body of the child found wrapped in a duvet inside a suitcase in the middle of nowhere, Australia, is NOT that of the child who vanished in Praia da Luz, Portugal back in 2007.

This we know because the likelihood of it being Our Maddie was at slightly longer odds than her being found working with Elvis in Brent X. It is also a fact broadcast by the BBC:

Body found in suitcase in Australia ‘not missing girl’

Phew! The remains of a child found inside a suitcase by a road in Australia are not that of the “missing girl”. We can all carry on with your lives happily now. Unless, there are more missing children than just Madeleine McCann and the story of the young body in the bag is unsettling.

The body of a girl whose remains were discovered in a suitcase in Australia is not missing Madeleine McCann, police have confirmed.

If not the media’s benchmark for all missing children then who?

South Australia Police said it had ruled out 43 missing children in connection to the discovery by a remote motorway in Wynarka, near Adelaide.

We don’t get to learn the names of the 43 children who might have been dead in a suitcase.

The decomposed body is that of a fair-haired girl aged between two-and-a-half and four, police said.The Met said Madeline had been “totally excluded” as a potential victim.

Det Supt Des Bray said: “I can confirm that Madeleine McCann has been totally excluded as a potential victim and UK police have been advised.”

You can imagine the surprise at the Met when they heard the news.

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421585/madeleine-mccann/madeleine-mccann-43-unnamed-children-not-found-in-australian-suitcase.html/feed/0Arsenal V Chelsea: it’s the economics, stupidhttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421582/sports/arsenal-v-chelsea-its-the-economics-stupid.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421582/sports/arsenal-v-chelsea-its-the-economics-stupid.html/#commentsWed, 29 Jul 2015 06:56:30 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421582It’s Arsenal v Chelsea in the Community Shield and the Press are turning it into battle between the clubs’ respective managers, Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho.

“We spend when we think we have to spend and do not listen to what people think or say. When we don’t have the money, we don’t spend the money we haven’t got.”

It’s Jose’s good fortune that Chelsea manager Roman Abramovich has yet to call in the £1bn-plus interest free loan he handed the Blues.

Wenger adds:

“When we have the money available, we spend it. We just try to make the right decisions. I believe that one day if you make real statistics of the players we have developed here and compare them to the other clubs, you will be surprised.

“I think what you want is not to listen too much to what people say, because sometimes in the same week I get two different reproaches: one I don’t spend enough and one too much.

“I believe if you want to create success, which we want desperately, it is best to focus on inside and try to do as well as we can, believe in the football we want to play, play it as well as we can and let other people talk.”

To the Mirror this is Wenger’s “BLAST”. But it’s all pretty benign. Indeed, Wenger adds, as quoted by the Sun:

“Chelsea won the championship with a comfortable distance, so we still have to make our way up. We are working hard to improve and I know we will be better this season. What I don’t know, is how much better our opponents will be.”

And that’s a “BLAST”?

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421582/sports/arsenal-v-chelsea-its-the-economics-stupid.html/feed/0Madeleine McCann: wrapped in a quilt and posted to Australia (maybe)http://www.anorak.co.uk/421573/madeleine-mccann/madeleine-mccann-wrapped-in-a-quilt-and-posted-to-australia-maybe.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421573/madeleine-mccann/madeleine-mccann-wrapped-in-a-quilt-and-posted-to-australia-maybe.html/#commentsTue, 28 Jul 2015 21:10:03 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421573Madeleine McCann is back in the news. It’s summer, and with a grim seasonal regularity, the media’s ‘Our Maddie’ is making headlines:

The Mirror: “Madeleine McCann: British cops refuse to rule out possibility child found in suitcase could be missing girl.”

What sick irony that the innocent child who vanished on a family holiday should be found in a suitcase. Where was the body found?

Met Police have contacted their Australian counterparts after skeletal remains were found by a motorist in a suitcase by the side of a remote highway

Australia is nowhere near Praia da Luz, from where Madeleine went missing.

British police have refused to rule out the possibility that the decomposed body of a young girl found in Australia could be that of missing Madeleine McCann.

Did they rule it in? It seems a theory as far out as that country road. Is there any link between the body and Madeleine McCann? No.

Austalian police say the remains are those of a girl aged between two and four who died in 2007 and had fair hair.

Was Madeleine McCann murdered and posted to Australia?

Maddie was three years old when she vanished from the Portuguese resort of Praia da Luz in 2007, prompting speculation the remains could be hers.

On what planet is that speculation taking place?

Although Australian police have dismissed rumours the body could be Maddie’s, a Scotland Yard spokesman said: “We cannot rule it out.”

What say the Aussies?

Police Commissioner Grant Stevens, leading the enquiry in Australia, said it was ‘pure speculation’ to suggest the bones could be Maddie’s.

What he actually said was:

“There is absolutely no evidence at this point in time that the child is Madeleine McCann. To suggest something like that at this point in time would purely be speculating to get attention.

“We are focusing our inquiries on South Australia but we would be considering any potential missing child. Until we ascertain the identity of the child we need to be open to all possibilities.”

He would not say if former GP Kate and heart doctor Gerry, both 47, of Rothley, Leics, had been told about the body.

Doctor, eh… Heart surgeon, eh… Relevant? Why does the Mirror chose to include those facts?

A source close to the couple said: “Kate and Gerry hope that if anything of substance is found linking the body in Australia and Madeleine they will be told straight away. But right now I’m questioning how her body could have got there from Portugal and the clothing doesn’t match.”

It’s a mystery, all right.

The Star says British cops are making ready to jet out to Oz to check out the body. The Mirror says:

Scotland Yard detectives will either fly to the country to carry out the crucial tests or will wait for samples from a newly-discovered corpse to be sent to them

Well, yes. That would be what we’d guess, too.

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421573/madeleine-mccann/madeleine-mccann-wrapped-in-a-quilt-and-posted-to-australia-maybe.html/feed/0Manchester United: Rojo’s criminal stupidity costs him dearhttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421570/sports/manchester-united/manchester-united-rojos-criminal-stupidity-costs-him-dear.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421570/sports/manchester-united/manchester-united-rojos-criminal-stupidity-costs-him-dear.html/#commentsTue, 28 Jul 2015 20:52:06 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421570It’s easily done. Marcos Rojo, the charming Manchester United defender, was barred from boarding a flight from Buenos Aires to San Jose, California, because he forgot to renew his passport and obtain the right visa.

On the day of departure, Rojo’s mental checklist departed from the traditional: ‘Tickets, oven, passport …’ to something akin to: ‘Gel, mirror, gel…’

The Times says the error will cost Rojo a fine of two weeks wages. How much is that? It’s £140,000! For the price of another big tattoo, Rojo could employ a passport wallah to spend a few moments each morning shouting out how many days are left until the passport expires, or counting down the hours before the milk in his fridge turns. Redirect the cash from a saucer-sized watch and he’s got a speaking clock no more than 10 steps behind him at any time.

As for the criminality issue, in 2012, Rojo was formally accused of assaulting a neighbour with a bottle during a 2010 row in his home city of La Plata. The matter was settled out of court in February 2015.

When encountering my sculptures, the viewer is faced with a lifelike fusion of human and animal that investigates which characteristics separate us within the animal kingdom, and more importantly, which unite us. The sculptures visually, emotionally and intellectually explore this overlap that exists across cultures, along histories, and within societies.

Our current lifestyle does not necessitate physical interaction with wild animals. Yet we revere the natural world and are seduced by characteristics we no longer see in ourselves, such as fierceness, instinctiveness, purity. I work with hide to create traditionally mounted animal bodies, utilizing the impetus for taxidermy: our endless curiosity to see animals, and our desire to celebrate their unique features.

The unexpectedness of the human face on these animals also evokes curiosity. They are obviously reconstructed yet they are not monstrous, they are approachable, natural, calm, innocent, dignified. The facial features are believable and the skin, which is the animal’s skin, has been shaved to reveal porous and oily features that we recognize as our own. The viewer has an intimate relationship with the face and then identifies with the animal, acknowledging the animalistic inheritance within the human condition.

“I’m accepting of mistakes, but not accepting of a lot of mistakes. Mistakes are a part of the game, but a lot of mistakes are not. I’m emotional and this game doesn’t allow us to make lots of mistakes because we are punished for that.”

On Referees:

“…when there is an accumulation of mistakes like we had last season, I’m sorry, I find it difficult to accept. If I make too many mistakes and I put players on the bench then I’m sacked. Referees should be given a rest if they make mistakes, if only to take pressure off them.”

On Manuel Pelligrini:

“I once had a player called Pellegrino and there were two people in football at the same time with a similar name, one was Mauricio Pellegrino and the other Mr Manuel Pellegrini. I always made a mistake by calling one the other. I always made a mistake. The last thing I’d do is show a lack of respect.”

Yeah, sure. It would most likely be the first thing he did.

On Arsenal:

Mourinho is obsessed by Arsenal and Arsene Wenger. But before his latest barb, Matt Hughes cranks up the rivalry:

Mourinho has shown little respect for Wenger over the years, and although holding back from his harshest critiques such as “voyeur” and “specialist in failure” on this occasion, it is clear that he regards the Arsenal manager as a hypocrite.

The “specialist in failure” slight was rude and catty. The “voyeur” slight is laughable given Mourinho’s obsession with Arsenal. And this from Hughes is wrong:

Wenger recently criticised Manchester United for using lavish spending rather than youth development to replenish their squad, but Mourinho is eager to focus on Arsenal’s recent outlays in the transfer market, which total more than £100 million since last summer.

“With United’s success they have created huge financial resources and today there is no patience for them to continue to do what they did — and they have the financial resources to go with a different policy. As well, they do not have available the players like Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs and David Beckham inside the club, because youth talent is spread more through 20 clubs than it was 20 years ago.”

Now back to Mourinho, stood peeping though the fence at Arsenal’s training ground:

“Every club is different, but if you add up the amounts clubs have spent in the last three or four years I think maybe you will find a surprise. If you put Mesut Özil, plus Alexis Sánchez, plus Calum Chambers and Mathieu Debuchy, you will maybe find a surprise. Get a calculator and it’s the easiest thing to do, and leaves no space for speculation.”

Giving a defence opening speech, Sarah Elliott QC, representing Black, said she “wholeheartedly” refutes that any abuse took place, adding that the children’s recollections had never been challenged.

She said it was possible the victims’ accounts may have been “influenced” and “encouraged” by others.

“Their carers have accepted what they’ve been told, the social workers have accepted what they’ve been told, the police have accepted what they’ve been told,” Ms Elliott said. “Nobody has challenged them.”

Michael Rogers, 53, from Romford, Essex, was also found guilty of 14 counts, including cruelty, rape and inciting a child to engage in sexual activity. Jason Adams, 43, from Norwich, was found guilty of 13 similar counts.

Marie Black, Michael Rogers and Jason Adams preyed on children aged under 13

During the three-month trial, the court was told how the ring would hold parties with other adults who would play cards to see who would get to abuse which child, while other forms of abuse included the use of toys such as Barbie dolls…

In interviews with the victims, it was disclosed that the children were forced to have sex with each other and would be abused in front of each other and other adults.

A male victim says:

“There would be parties and they would do some games where the boys were in one room with the men and the girls were in another with the women. The adults would have a card game and the winner would get to choose a boy to start touching their private parts and then hurt them afterwards.”

What about the authorities? Sheila Lock, interim executive director of children’s services at Norfolk County Council, said:

“The victims in this case have shown tremendous courage in speaking out. The needs of the children, who were central to the prosecution case, have always been at the fore of our minds and have been the main focus of all of the agencies involved.

“Our priority continues to be the children in this case who, despite the ordeal they have been through, are now doing well and are safe from harm.”

We first heard of Marie Black in 2012. Christopher Booker told her story in the Telegraph:

In France there were tears of joy when Marie Black and Joe Ollis were reunited with their baby daughter Luna, born in France in February but then seized by Norfolk social workers, to be brought back to England to live in foster care. Although this action had been sanctioned by a British court, a High Court judge ruled in May that the seizure was illegal, because Luna was born in France and was therefore outside UK jurisdiction.

Despite further prevarication by the social workers, they eventually obeyed the judge’s order that the child should be returned to France. Last week, finally, Luna was handed by a French court back to her parents. “At first,” they tell me, “she was quiet and withdrawn after her time in foster care, but now she is alert and cheerful.”

Last year I reported the shocking story of Marie Black and Joe Ollis who escaped to France for the birth of their first child, after learning that Norfolk social workers intended to seize it at birth on the grounds that Marie had previously been in a violent relationship with another man, who was by then out of her life…

At a cottage deep in the French countryside, a baby girl kicks her feet in the air and smiles at her father, Joe, as she is cuddled by her mother, Marie.

Little Luna is home at last — reunited with her parents at the end of an historic legal battle against British social workers which began when Marie became pregnant and moved to France from her home in Norfolk.

Marie Black was a fighter who loved kids.

Marie said this week at their home near Cahors in south-west France: ‘We were so excited. Luna went to sleep that first night back with us as though she had never been away.

‘I lost the chance of breastfeeding her, and we missed her first smile. We blame the English social workers’But she added: ‘I had lost the chance of breastfeeding her, and we missed her first smile. We blame the English social workers.’

Sweet Marie.

Marie had married young and had five children by her abusive husband before fleeing his violence. At one stage, she lived with her children in a hostel for abused women.

But when this proved difficult, she asked social services for help. They took the children into temporary care, and have refused to return them…

And not forgetting:

The couple’s solicitor, Brendan Fleming, added: ‘I find it amazing that social workers flew to a country outside their jurisdiction and brought this baby to Britain at a cost of thousands of pounds of public money.’

Social workers are under immense pressure not to make a mistake following the Baby P case in London in 2007. He died after suffering many injuries despite being seen by Haringey social services and NHS doctors.

Allegations were first reported to police in 2010 but it was in December 2012, when further evidence was disclosed, that police decided they had sufficient evidence to progress the criminal investigation and eventually make the initial arrests in 2013.

The police used a battering ram to raid John Sewel’s Dophin Square flat. Lord of the realm and former Labour minister Mr Sewel had been filmed snorting white powders from a woman’s breasts with a £5 note.

The Sun on Sunday has been a limp rag since it’s inception, a poor and pallid replacement to the often brilliant News of The World. But having scored a hit with the Queen’s Nazi salute, the paper has now outed a Labour peer as a man who thinks Asian woman are “whores” and spends his down time in the comfort of an orange bra and by-the-hour breasts.

Married with four children, Sewel has now quit the House of Lords, saying he was sorry for the “pain and embarrassment” he had caused.

“I have today written to the clerk of the parliaments terminating my membership of the House of Lords. The question of whether my behaviour breached the code of conduct is important, but essentially technical. The bigger questions are whether my behaviour is compatible with membership of the House of Lords and whether my continued membership would damage and undermine public confidence in the House of Lords. I believe the answer to both these questions means that I can best serve the House by leaving it.

“As a subordinate, second chamber, the House of Lords is an effective, vital but undervalued part of our political system. I hope my decision will limit and help repair the damage I have done to an institution I hold dear. Finally, I want to apologise for the pain and embarrassment I have caused.”

Lord Sewel’s leave of absence from the Upper Chamber means he can not longer claim his £300 daily allowance. The 69-year-old may now be forced to buy cheaper nosegays – it’s alleged he snorted cocaine – and less exotic sex aids.

The Times:

The 69-year-old peer, who was exposed in undercover footage obtained by The Sun on Sunday, had already relinquished his role as chairman of the upper chamber’s standards and privileges committee and his £84,500-a-year post as deputy speaker.

His refusal to step down had raised the prospect that he could have been expelled under rules that he helped to create.

Of course, if he wants to hire sex workers and stick drugs up his nose, it should be his own affair – literally.

‘ROY HODGSON will infuriate Liverpool fans after saying Raheem Sterling will become a BETTER player now he is at Manchester City.’

Hogdson, the erudite, circumspect and likeable former Liverpool actually said that Sterling would become a better player because Manchester City make better players than Liverpool?

No. He didn’t.

Speaking after the 2018 World Cup draw, Hodgson said: “He was playing for a club with a very strong fan base, not only in England but in other parts of the world.

“And unfortunately for him I suppose, the fans locally at Liverpool took unkindly to the fact he made it clear he wanted to move. That is part and parcel of football really.

“If anything that will help him to mature and improve even more. For his age, he is a remarkably strong and robust person, not just physically on the field but mentally. And these things, if anything, will make him stronger.”

City will not make him stronger: expeience will. The Daily Mail gets it right by stating:

“He has a big price tag to carry around but he is a good enough player to do so. But it is up to him to do that because we have had a lot of faith in Raheem Sterling.

“He has never been out of our thoughts at any time — whether he has been playing well or not playing well.

“We have always had him in our 25 as a player for the future. If we are ever going to become a really good team, we need players like him because of his exceptional talent.

“Ideally you want all of them playing in the Champions League. But we don’t live in an ideal world and clubs, especially at the top of the Premier League, have an awful lot of money. They can buy any players in the world really.

“There are not many players you could talk to who wouldn’t say they’d like to play in the Premier League. You are going to be competing against world stars.

“But that could be an advantage in the long run because the competition is so strong he has to go and sit on the bench some of the time.”

“My first thought was to crush it with my cane, then I thought, no, it looks so strange, I’m going to take a picture of it, ” says Palmer. “I’m going to be 70 in November. And I’ve never seen a bug with a human face staring back at me. I’ve sent the picture to OMSI, the Portland Zoo, Fish & Wildlife, the Extension Service, The Master Gardeners. People either don’t respond or don’t know what kind it is. Some people aren’t taking this very seriously.”

“I sent a picture to my grandson, he said ‘nice Photoshop grandpa’. I said I can’t even use my smart phone half the time, much less do some special computer effects. I had to have the girls at the Shell station send the picture to the local TV station. He knows I wouldn’t lie about this.”

Do we believe in the bug that looks like Lord Kitchener?

“It’s Bob, he wouldn’t lie about anything. He’s just really intrigued by what kind of caterpillar it is, and getting somebody to figure it out, that’s why he’s always talking about it,” said Kay Hank.

“One woman told it looks like the devil,” says Palmer, “I decided to stay away from her, if she’s actually seen the devil. Haha.”

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421511/strange-but-true/man-finds-caterpillar-that-looks-like-lord-kitchener.html/feed/0Manchester United sign average Romero as brilliant De Gea moves to Real Madridhttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421509/sports/manchester-united/manchester-united-sign-average-romero-as-brilliant-de-gea-moves-to-real-madrid.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421509/sports/manchester-united/manchester-united-sign-average-romero-as-brilliant-de-gea-moves-to-real-madrid.html/#commentsMon, 27 Jul 2015 09:41:55 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421509The saga of David De Gea’s protracted move from a rather desperate Manchester United (£230 spent on new players since Van Gaal arrived a season ago) to Real Madrid has led to the arrival of Argentina goalkeeper Sergio Romero at Old Trafford.

Only a few days ago, The Daily Express thundered:

You are staying! Louis van Gaal tells David De Gea to forget Real Madrid move this summer

Rubbish, of course. With just one year left on his United deal, Van Gaal knows De Gea is leaving.

As the BBC writes:

Manchester United have signed Argentina goalkeeper Sergio Romero as a result of the uncertainty over David De Gea.

What do we know of Romero? Well, he won the 2008-09 Eredivisie title under Van Gaal at AZ Alkmaar.

Says Van Gaal:

“We have to prepare our season with the threat that David De Gea is going to Real Madrid. You need always competition. When I see that a player is better than the player in the line-up, he shall play the next match.”

Will he fit in quickly to life at United?

“Of course, he has to learn English because that is also a problem always with a foreigner. He is very good with his feet, so he fits in our profile. I have a lot of confidence that he can fulfil what we are expecting.”

Says Romero:

“I am absolutely delighted to join Manchester United. To play for the biggest club in the world is a dream come true for me. Louis van Gaal is a fantastic manager and I cannot wait to get started on this new and exciting challenge in my career.”

Romero joined as free agent from Sampdoria.

]]>http://www.anorak.co.uk/421509/sports/manchester-united/manchester-united-sign-average-romero-as-brilliant-de-gea-moves-to-real-madrid.html/feed/0Bobbi Kristina Brown died todayhttp://www.anorak.co.uk/421502/celebrities/bobbi-kristina-brown-died-today.html/
http://www.anorak.co.uk/421502/celebrities/bobbi-kristina-brown-died-today.html/#commentsMon, 27 Jul 2015 02:28:06 +0000http://www.anorak.co.uk/?p=421502News is leading with the report that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown has died. She was 22. Back on January 31st 2015, Bobbi Kristina was found unresponsive at her home in a bath. Placed in medially induced coma, Bobbi Kristina was after two months transferred to a rehabilitation centre. One month ago she was moved into a hospice.D-listednotes:

The D.A. has reportedly been investigating Bobbi Kristina’s adopted brother/fake husband Nick Gordon, because they believe he may have had something to do with why she lost consciousness. Bobbi Kristina’s conservator has also thrown a lawsuit at Nick for allegedly stealing her money, abusing her and pretending to be her husband.

Her family have released a statement:

“She is finally at peace in the arms of God. We want to again thank everyone for their tremendous amount of love and support during these last few months.”