You wouldn't think she has it in her, but look at the size of those man hands! The poor guy never saw it coming.

I guess this is what Paris looks like when she strikes out in the club. Grumpy, frustrated, sick of fantasizing about Stavros while humping whatever she's got lying around ... the life of a has-been is never an easy one, especially when you're not even 30.

So what's an overexposed, aging celebutante to do? Travel the world? Done that, many times over. Marry a wealthy shipping heir? Like the Eagles said, the Greeks don't want no freaks. Party like a rock star? That's like, so ten minutes ago. Contract a social disease and share the wealth with every swinging dick west of the Rockies? All old news for this Valtrex poster child.

One thing Paris won't be doing in the future (near or otherwise) is adopting four blond, blue-eyed little girls, as was reported recently. When asked about this most silly of rumors, Paris said, "That's retarded!" She's already got a zookeeper for all of her pets; she doesn't want to have to pay a nanny, too.

PRETTYBORING provides a vehicle for publishing material including text and images and as such makes no warranty for the accuracy of the reported articles and any and all images that appear on the site are copyright their respective owners (including PRETTYBORING as appropriate) and PRETTYBORING.COM claims no credit for them unless otherwise noted. If you own the rights to any of the images and do not wish them to appear on the site please contact us and they will be promptly removed and or credits updated as approriate. Please see terms and conditions for more information.