Tuesday, January 26, 2010

My First Time

Hey Again

First of all thanks to all those who commented on the last post, enjoyed reading everyone's opinion, guess that all of us are a little crazy when it comes to sport.

Basketball wise everything is fine, still working hard and enjoying myself, sometimes I would be happy if I could give you more details but unfortunately it's not really an option at this point of time.

Anyway I wanted to talk about the first guy I ever slept with, or for that matter the first time I did anything that has to do with the gay guy who lives among me.

I was on vacation with a couple of friends, just like always, we used to travel a couple of us to different places all the time. This time we were all in a big city and shared a hotel together.

On one of the nights, after a long day of traveling everyone was pretty tired, including me, but I decided to go out. Basically waited for everyone to go to bed and decided to leave without telling anyone. In my head I said to myself that if anyone will ask Ii will just say I went out for a little walk or a drink.

I ended up near a couple of gay bars, and this is where I picked up the habit of walking around for 3o minutes before I go in to any gay bar or pub. Not like future times, this time I was more nervous than anytime I can remember myself.

The minute I got in to the bar I literally started drinking , I like to drink in social events just like the next guy, but this was different. I was in panic, after a couple of drinks i got more comfortable and stopped thinking about running out the door.

There was no chance that I would go up to a guy and start talking to him, that was just too much at that point .After about 20 minutes a cute guy came up to me and started talking to me, he wasn't really the one I imagined would be my type.

Since I never did anything or talked to anyone the only thing I had was my imagination and I gave it a chance. Anyway this guy was also a tourist and was really cute, after some time we decided to head back to his hotel.

I was nervous and actually told him it was my first time, he was real cute about it, said we can just cuddle or do what ever i felt like, after we got to the room we talked, watched TV and I was feeling better as time went by.

Later in the night I felt really comfortable and we started kissing, just like everything that happened that night, that was also a first for me, at least with a guy. It was pretty cool and different then anything I could think of, one thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together, after that I even spent the night.

Towards the morning both of us felt like it was time to part ways, he was in a hurry and I was ready to go back to my hotel. The way to my hotel included some walking and a short bus trip.

The strongest memory I have of the way back is that I had the feeling that everyone was looking at me and looking at me differently. There was hundreds and thousands of people in the street but i felt like everyone was looking at me.

The only rational explanation I have for that is that in some part I felt I did something wrong or bad or what ever you want to call it and everybody in the street knew about it.

Like I said before until I didn't accept myself and who I was I guess I felt like no one else should And that's why I felt everyone was looking.

Since then I don't feel the need to get drunk the minute I enter a bar and I feel better and more relaxed while going out. Can only say that it's due to more experience and to accepting myself and feeling different as time went by and still is.

I kept in touch with the guy for a short period and like every one night thing as time went by so did that short connection we had.

Looking back I can say for sure that the experience that brought me to tell my parents was much much stronger then the first time i met a guy, go figure.....

5 comments:

Yeah, it sounds like your internalized homophobia came out after your first time. That's not unusual with closeted people. After my first time I came home and found everyone awake at 3 AM because my sister's ex-boyfriend had egged the house. I remember thinking "Forget the house, I just had sex with a guy!" Luckily I didn't say that.

Just wanted to say thanks for blogging, its interesting to read about your experiences. It would be nice to live in a world without labels like 'closeted people' as stated in the comment above. It's just too black and white.

Hey man, after my first time, and I was in my late 20's after a lot of denial...I laid in bed for like a day and a half all depressed as it was confirmed I was in fact gay. However, as I look back now, it was actually a nice encounter with a cool guy I was lucky to meet. But man, I sure beat myself up after it. Now I'd call him the next day and say "what's up?" haha.glad you had a decent first encounter.

my fist time was in a non-gay bar in a hotel . I had met a guy in the swimming oiik sauna where we were naked and chatting. Later we met in the bar and talked about prostitutes and blow jobs. He said he was going downtwn to get a blow job. I said we could just go to your room. He said fine, when I told him it was my first time he just laughed. In the room we got naked, lay on the bed and I started sucking his big cock. He ased if I wanted a tissue. I said what for? He said to catch the cum. I said aren't you suppoed to swallow it? He laughed and pretty soon shot me a big load of cum, which I swallowed. I then lay on top of him kising him and he reached in between our bodies and jacked me off. When I shot my wad he kept hold of my dick and it hurt to cum. After I went back to my room I jacked off 3 more times. It felt better than when he did it.