In the Shop

As a farm machinery mechanic and writer, Dan brings a hands-on approach that only a pro can muster. Along with his In the Shop blog, Dan writes a column by the same name as well as the Shop Series for Farm Journal magazine. Always providing practical information, he is a master at tackling technical topics and making them easy for all of our readers to understand. He and his wife, Becky, live near Bouton, Iowa.

Random Thoughts from a Vacationing Mind

Jul 03, 2012

We just returned from a vacation across northeast Iowa, Wisconsin and a bit of southeast Minnesota. My mind wanders, sometimes to strange places, while I'm driving:

-If you doubt the existence of zombies, aka "the living dead," visit an interstate truck stop after midnight.

-Muscle shirts, as worn by 99.6 percent of the middle-aged men shuffling around tourist traps with their families, are grossly misnamed.

-In motels, children whose parents have farmer's tans are better behaved than children of parents who glow with tanning bed tans.

-"Continental breakfast" means "breakfast of stale rolls."

-It's best to never see the people who stayed in your motel room the night before you.

-Old farmers drive slow and rarely signal when making left turns.

-Most tourists who wear clothing designed to show off their tattoos shouldn't wear clothing that shows off their tattoos.

-The only thing more sad than a run-down, abandoned barn is a run-down, abandoned rural church.

Never make eye contact with street performers, panhandlers, or people sitting alone in motel lobbies.

-If you need to kill time in a small farming town, tell a local retired farmer that the crops "look good around here."