The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
A brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the second day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the third day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the fourth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the fifth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the sixth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the seventh day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the eighth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the ninth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Nine IMAX tickets,
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the tenth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Ten hi-def TVs,
Nine IMAX tickets,
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Eleven PCs crashing,
Ten hi-def TVs,
Nine IMAX tickets,
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
The internet sent to me
Twelve banks imploding,
Eleven PCs crashing,
Ten hi-def TVs,
Nine IMAX tickets,
Eight Apple iPhones,
Seven friends a-tweeting,
Six Blu-Ray players,
Five custom ringtones,
Four falling stocks,
Three bags of French roast,
Two swine flu shots,
And a brand new Nintendo Wii!

Wait…is that supposed to be your cock? Because I’ve been Avitaballed enough times that unless you had it tucked up under your chin when you took those pi–and THIS is why I should stay off the innernet when I’ve taken Nyquil!