So! Those of you who had babies recently, how are we feeling about our post-partum bodies, ladies? Here, I will answer for us: "NOT SO GREAT, PARENTING.COM! THANKS FOR ASKING!"

One of the worst feeling-bad-about-myself days I've ever had was when I decided to buy some "transition clothes" at Old Navy after Jack was born. It made sense before I went into the dressing room, it really did. Nothing fit me and I couldn't reasonably expect the weight to melt away within the next several weeks. I needed a few things to get me through, right? But when I went into that dressing room and found out that not even the LARGEST SIZES fit me, I may have broken down and done the Ugly Cry. In an Old Navy dressing room. In a strip mall shopping center. Weeks after the birth of my first child.

Why didn't anyone tell me that was the worst idea EVER?

I did lose the baby weight eventually. And the next time too. Now that Emma is over a month old (OMG) I'm looking at the same thirtyish pounds again and thinking about what needs to happen. I'm going to go with all the things that worked before - a change in diet (by which I mean eating things other than cake), a weight loss blog to keep me accountable, and a re-introduction to that pesky thing called exercise. I have no doubt that I can do this again, just how long it might take!

In the meantime I try to hide the baby flab in yoga pants, long t-shirts, and loose fitting sweaters and hoodies. I have two or three things I can pull out if I MUST look presentable, but otherwise I wear the same pants every day, I don't do my hair, I barely remember to brush my teeth. I am SUPER attractive, you guys.

The scary thing is that Emma's baptism is this coming Sunday and WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? I started thinking about this early on, people, and I ordered three different nursing dresses from two different stores. I ordered them in Size Gargantuan. They were supposed to be stretchy and modest and OF COURSE they didn't fit. Of course! I hit up my favorite stores (read: cheap) but there's nothing out there either. I'd go somewhere nice, except I can't stand the thought of spending too much money on something I will most likely wear once. But at this point my choices are a linen maternity wrap dress that will look decidedly dumb on my post-partum body, some too-tight pants and shirts, and a sweater dress that emphasizes all the wrong curves. I may show up in yoga pants.

It's just a hard place to be - where you are definitely not Accepting your size, but it's unclear when you'll get to wear pants that button again. Anyone else feeling the post-partum body mope?

P.S. Do not talk to me about how "breastfeeding just melts the weight off! I'm skinnier than I was before I got pregnant! Yay me!" Because breastfeeding appears to just KEEP me fat, as in, REQUIRES THE FATNESS, and, as you can tell, I have no sense of humor about it whatsoever.