REMOVED FOR PUBLICATION. SEE INSIDE. Matheus didn't ask for this. He just wanted a normal, boring life. One bad night, and now he was drinking blood, running for his life, questioning his sexual orientation and generally being a whiny b*tch. Well, that last part wasn't new. slash. snarky.

Viv is neat, Toby is not. Toby is poor, Viv is rich. Toby is hot, Viv...is also hot. My version of a romantic comedy, which like most rom-coms is not especially funny... m/m, slash, etc, etc, etc, just read the damn thing, okay?

Death goes by the name of Maurice. But that’s something you wouldn’t know unless you work in Underworld. When the higher ups assign him an assistant he really doesn’t want, what’s poor Death to do? MxM