The Boston Herald has a story today about a California woman who was forced to take off her bra at the Oakland airport to pass through security. Apparently the underwire in her unmentionables tripped the thing and it was either that or submit to a full-body search:

“I felt I was being treated like a criminal,” said the Harvard-educated Kates, who was headed to Massachusetts to see her mother and vacation on the Cape.

“My underwear is not a security threat,” she added.

A TSA officially defended the organization thusly:

“Just because a passenger says they are wearing an underwire bra or they say they have a hip replacement that’s metal … we can’t take the word of the passenger unfortunately,” Melendez said.

I think Melendez is being politically correct. Everybody knows that most people with big boobies are, in fact, terrorists — or at least terrorist sympathizers. I fully support the TSA on this one.

I only hope they don’t start flagging people with steel-reinforced underpants. That could be bad news for me, you know what I’m sayin’? I’m sayin’ I have a huge weiner. It’s not true but I’m sayin’ it anyway.