Jamie looked like she was deep in thought, contemplating the meaning of life or how many angels could really dance on the head of a pin, but in reality, she was just getting ready to sneeze.

It's evident that Jamie continued her 'green' mission by not only recycling...but by also building her own chicken coop under the deck. Organic eggs all day, any day.

It took all day, but Jamie finally convinced the wind to blow her hair in perfect nonchallant whisps, only to discover that she had to pee like the racehorse that is her mind.

Pants are so passe and I should have used Preparation H.

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

Jamie sighed as she realized she would never be a world famous contortionist.She would have to settle for becoming a hipster yogi.

i might do this again, especially after i whet your appetite with the revelation of the super excellent handmade prize. if you're sad you didn't win don't worry, i'll give you another shot sometime soon. i have to say though, i dislike being the annoying person on twitter/facebook begging for entries. next time you're on your own about remembering to enter, yo.

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Ok, that's not true. Once I won tickets to a concert off the radio, but then everyone made fun of me because it was a lame radio station no one ever listened to, so people joked I had no competition and I felt like an idiot.

THIS? Way better than the tickets because this time I don't feel like an idiot for a change!