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you are not your eating disorder

I expect to be disagreed with but feel compelled to post this thought despite fear of being ostracized.

I believe myself to be a lifer. I have and will find degrees of recovery but will never be free totally. I accept this as I accept that for me, right now, I have the choice to go down deeper or stay head up and tread water.

I also believe that no matter what degree of illness, I am not my eating disorder. It is not all that I will be or have been, it does not define me. It is not me. I am not it. I am a daughter, sister, teacher, (mom, kind of), friend, survivor, volunteer, advocate but I am most definitely NOT a walking talking eating disorder.

My behaviors are what I do, not who I am. I am neither a pig nor a cow. I'm not selfish nor greedy nor gluttonous. Ive chosen to be selfish, cowardly, secretive, deceitful, wasteful but I've also chosen to be brave, honest, vulnerable, kind, insightful, generous.

I wrote to a member today that I've never conversed with before and I write the same to everyone here now: You are not your eating disorder. You are so much more, so much greater, better, worthy. You matter.
If you'd like to respond, how about answer the question of "who are you?!" No right or wrong answers but let's please concentrate on the good parts of ourselves because You Matter.

P.S. for Natalie>>>>> this is for you too. You, you are so much more than you realize. So much better, more powerful, more helpful, kinder, wiser, compassionate, tenacious, fighter, survivor...... so much more than you let yourself believe.

Last edited by JEANNE; 10-14-2014 at 01:19 PM.

"Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started."

"The miracle isn't that I finished, the miracle is that I had the courage to start."

I in fact agree with the part about being a lifer. I may very well be one of those. I also agree that we are not our eating disorders.

I am not sure who I am, but from what people have told me and tried to reassure me over the years, therapists and friends, I am a good friend, I have potential, a great nanny, an asset when it comes to childcare as parents don't know what they would do without me, I am unconditionally loved by the children I have looked after, I am talented, clever, kind, really funny, always making people laugh and feel better, loving, friendly, including of others, helpful and other things I don't remember.

What I agree with the most is, I am indeed a great nanny and I am very proud of myself for it. The greatest joy I have had in my life in the past four years has been looking after children. They can always make me laugh, make me genuinely happy and joyful. Whenever I feel truly hopeless I think of them or I see them and they give me so much hope. These children have saved me from killing myself, because I could never bear the thought of them being told that I died by my own doing. It is not fair on them. It was difficult and painful enough for me to be told my friend committed suicide, but I wasn't a little child at the time so how much worse would it be for them.

I hold on for them and they make me hold on for myself.

Last edited by HiLz; 10-14-2014 at 02:13 PM.

Contradiction.
My Life is Split in Two.
Rational & Irrational.
It is a Contradiction.