It’s that wonderful time of the year, when a major city’s mayoral race begins to truly blossom with the announcement of so-called celebrity candidates, and this time that honor goes to adult film actress Nikki Benz, who has announced that she is running for mayor of Toronto. Her slogan? “Trade in your Ford for a Benz.” That’s great political wit right there, and Benz’s ideas don’t just stop with making fun of Toronto’s embattled crack-smoking mayor. She told the Toronto Sun’s Mike Strobel that not only does she not partake in Mayor Ford’s most newsworthy pastime, but she’ll provide very little fodder for the local news.

Unless, you know, they write about how she’s a porn star.

“No. No. I don’t even smoke cigarettes,” she tells me, tossing a honey-blond tress. You could swim in those hazel eyes.

“When it comes to that kind of stuff,” she says, “my life is not very exciting.” (Via the Toronto Sun)

Well, it all starts with honesty, so I guess that Benz’s campaign is already far ahead of Ford’s, um, curve. As for policies, Benz told the Sun that she’d like to work on the city’s mass transit, and she’d also like to make National Masturbation Day a civic holiday. I’m not equipped to talk about such a sticky issue.

But Benz isn’t the only risqué candidate in Toronto. Strobel previously spoke with candidate Carlie Ritch, who is better known in her profession as Mizz Barbie Bitch, because she’s a dominatrix. Candidate Bitch also does not smoke crack – this seems to be a prerequisite line of questioning for all mayoral candidates now – and she claimed that she would “whip this city into shape,” because she’s a dominatrix, you see. It’s going to be a long, pun-filled race for mayor in Toronto, that’s for sure.

She’s one of my favorites to watch because she is so hilariously bad as an actress.

My wife and I were watching a scene once, and it started with her and two other girls, and the two other girls paired up and she’s just sitting there on her knees looking confused and doing nothing, and the director must’ve said something because she announced loudly “AHH I’M GONNA MASTURBATE!”

It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen happen in a porn. Also, I think she recently got butt implants.