Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Drive in Virginia with outsized rubber replica testicles dangling from your trailer hitch and face a fine under a bill before the General Assembly.Taste and even decency notwithstanding, Del. Lionel Spruill introduced the bill Tuesday as a safety measure: male genitalia swaying from a car distracts other drivers.His bill would make displaying the ornamentation a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $250.The idea and motivation, however, came from a constituent upset that his young daughter had caught sight of the facsimile sex organs and asked what they were."I didn't know what to tell her," Spruill said, quoting the constituent, whom he refused to identify."I said, 'Sir, I'm going to be a laughing stock, but I'm going to do it,'" he said.Spruill, D-Chesapeake, said he'd never seen vehicular testicular hitch ornaments on the highway, but discovered they could be easily bought on several Internet sites. They're marketed under terms commonly used to describe the body part. A rubber set, available in a rainbow of colors, costs about $24.95 while a chrome or brass pair will set you back $49.95 plus $10 shipping."Now they got all types of sizes: small ones, big ones," he said. "Those things come in blue, black, white."Virginia's nearly 400-year-old House of Delegates has a penchant for pondering earthy issues. Just three years ago, it passed a measure that would have outlawed baggy pants worn so low they expose underwear or worse.That bill died in a Senate committee, but not before it was reported worldwide and became grist for television and radio comedians and talk-show hosts.(more balls)