23 comments in the last 4 blogs, and 1/4 of those are mine. I ask for pics and nobody except jack sends in his teen pic. I’m trying to make this a fun page where everyone can participate, but if nobody’s interested, then fucky’all. WTF am I wasting time doing this for? Game is at Carlos’ House of Excruciating Agony. Alex: check the math on your stats, I’ve seen several errors.

So I missed a blog last week due to the Sunday game and no computer time. We did have our first outdoor game of the year at Ron’s and even though it was nice at first, it did get a little chilly towards 8pm and on. The burgers were awesome even though Mr. Burro from Space ran out of propane. True to his word, Kenny did miss the game. Some lame excuse about having to work. It was a good thing he did because if he had shown up it would have changed the dynamics of the game and I may not have won first place as I did. Alex and Bob both took major beatings losing $180 between them and supplying the money for the rest of us. The only other outstanding thing about the night was the amazing amount of river cards that made a difference in the hands played. Oh yes, there were donks, and the biggest one was Jack, who earned his first Donkey of the Week honours.

This Friday’s game was held at the House of Beef. This was one of those rare games where we didn’t have an irregular join us. Yup, just the regular diehards were there to exchange cash via the poker table. Even though I didn’t kick ass I still managed a positive result and maintained my winning streak. Unfortunately for me, the guys that I didn’t want to win, all won. Namely Keith, Alex and Bob. With next week’s game marking the half-way point of our year, it’ll be interesting to see how the rest of the year shapes up.

You know what I’m sick of? Bob’s crazy $7 to $10 raises. Man I wish I had a good hand when he pulls this shit, cause I really wanna punish him for his foolishness, and he will be punished, if not by me, then by someone else. He can’t be allowed to get away with this nonsense for too much longer. This game also marked the return of our beloved Mad Oriental. Back from a one and a half game hiatus, he came to win and did he ever (at least early on). He came out swinging, losing his first hand in an all-in and we all thought, oh no, poor Ken, here we go again. But he did have a trick up his sleeve and aided by his marked cards that he brought along, pretty soon he was up past $60. But in true Lum fashion, he discarded my advice to sit on his stack and gave away most of it by the end of the night. At least he still managed to hang on to 9 bucks.

Our volcanic Italian decided to leave early after dropping $60, but I really can’t blame him as he was heavily plagued by the dreaded second best-itis syndrome. Add Mauro’s tally to Ron & Jack’s $80 contributions and we have our benefactors for the night. 6 winners and 3 losers made for a majority of happy players. Check the stats for the whole picture. Speaking of stats, where the hell are Beef’s Bytes? Alex’s Almanac? Get on it man, you’re slacking off. And in case you were wondering, Kenny got Donk of the Week.

What else is new? Oh yeah, I know… Portugal Rocks! 7-0 baby! OK, I know they’re the lowly North Koreans, but still, WHOA…eh? WHOOOOAAAA… eh? Eh? Know what I mean? Why don’t we just go a little further and say that Asians in general suck and Portuguese (we can include Brazilians in there too because they are after all a former colony) KICK ASS!!!

Game is at Jack’s House of Mild Discomfort on Friday, so due to room constraints, there will be no extra guests. A friendly reminder to send me teen pics of yourselves (or preteen, I don’t care). Vote on my blog, and do the poll! Let’s get some freakin’ interaction here. That’s it for now.

It looks like the leaders continue to lead and the, ahem, losers continue to um, not lead. I hereby give all you negative balance guys permission to take a run at the leaders, excepting me, of course. I took a beating last year and deserve to have a good year this time around. But as far as guys like Alex, Keith and Bob are concerned, please do us all a favour (me especially) and take them down a few notches. They had their moments in the sun last year, so let’s give them a little shade, shall we? Ken, Mauro, Dave and Ron… are you listening?

Speaking of Keith, what the fuck is up with his stats? Have you guys noticed too, or is it just me? He’s got one of the crappiest winning percentages out of all of us, and yet he’s in 2nd place behind Alex in money won. The only way I can explain it is that when he wins, he wins BIG! Of course that’s not helped by guys like Paul, who usually go all-in just before he’s about to leave (with a mediocre hand), and gift-wrap $35-$40 right onto Keith’s lap. I’ll try to remember that the next time The Newf decides to take off (awright, I’m all-in too, O Generous One). OK Keith, you’ve made the best of a crappy year so far, but how long can you keep up this charade? It just goes to reinforce my strong belief that the money won is NOT the best indicator as to who is playing the best poker. THAT’S where the points system comes in and THAT’s where I’m Numero Uno baby! Until further notice anyway (he says meekly).

It was another memorable night of poker, I must say. Three records were tied with 11 players participating, $520 in total buy-ins, and Mauro’s buy-in total of $120. The most interesting player to watch, by far, was Ronny, who, aided by his confidence at the casino, was playing practically every hand and winning and losing big. He was the early leader but the cards betrayed him as the night wore on, and he ended up taking a minor beating. Another surprise was that our genial host did NOT win at his own house. OK, he didn’t lose either, as he ended up even for the night, but the fact that he didn’t win was a (nice) surprise. I’m creeping closer to you bud. Another surprise was The Lumster showing up a couple of hours into the game, after he’d said that he was going to skip this one due to his disasterous slide into number 1 bottom-feeder. He says that he had some business in Surrey…, yah, right Ken, we all believe ya. You just couldn’t stay away could you? It was a valiant attempt but unfortunately your slide into poker hell continues unabaited. Make that $250 in 4 weeks. Ouch!!!

I touched on the fact that Mauro bought-in for $120. We could have had another titanic eruption from our volcanic Italian, but he did manage to make a pretty decent comeback to end the night only $55 down, so disaster was averted. To be fair, he’d had a pretty shitty night of the dreaded second-best-itis syndrome. Speaking of come-backs, Jeff had the best one; from $80 down to +$13 when all was said and done. It was good to see him have a good night, as he’s suffered some pretty bad losses at our table. By Alex’s standards, he had a pretty mediocre night, only winning $12. Jack had another much needed win to finally put his numbers into the black, and Dave continued to be Dave, with a $40 loss and an unprecedented nod as Donkey of the Week for a third straight week. Looks like I will have to figure out a way to put those blood-shot eyes on the donkey picture. And last but not least, your favourite wordsmith ended up with another check-mark in the W column. Just another day at the office, I say.

I came up with a new interesting stat. I was curious about Dave’s big win a couple of weeks ago and how it stacked up to other big wins. I’m now including a ‘Percentage of the Pot’ stat in my stats file. It turns out that Dave’s $155.00 win was only good for 5th place this year with a 29.81 %age won out of the total pot. Alex leads with 34.33% back in week 7, Bob with 32.87% in week 2, Ian with 32.78% in week 20, and Keith with 31.93% in week 7. The worst loss? That was Ron with 31.59% in week 9.

Speaking of Ron, it has been determined that next week’s game will be on Sunday (3 PM) at Mr. Space Donkey’s Asteroid in the Sur-Haggis Star System, where he will be serving up a delicious BBQ, so bring your appetites. Don’t forget to vote in my awesome poll (c’mon guys, it took a long time to track down the best pics for each one). Also a reminder to you guys to e-mail me your teenage pics so I can post-em. That all for me now, and may the Donk Force be with you all.

Oh things do look grim for the Lumster. So bad in fact, that he’s talking about skipping the next game. The truly sad and pathetic part of it was that when he arrived at my place, he was going off about how this was going to be his night, and that everybody was going to pay, etc., etc.. I am tempted to say “oh how the mighty have fallen”, but he was never mighty anyway, Bwahahahahahaha! Plus, I’m saving that one for Alex. So what is that now…. hm…., let’s see…., oh yeah, down $210 in 3 weeks. Bwahahahahahahaha!

All fun aside, I must admit that even I am cringing at the beats that he’s been handed. Lately anyway, he’s been getting rivered left and right. Not that that has been his only problem. Kenny has a tendency to go all the way in a hand even though he feels that he’s gonna be beat. Read that Brunson book that you just bought, Ken. In it, he says “forget about what you’ve put in the pot already, if you feel that you’re beat, keep those $10 that you were gonna throw in and use it on a hand that you DO feel strongly about”. Don’t worry Ken, eventually things will turn around and you will be back to your mediocre poker skills, breaking even again.

On to another topic…, this blog. I was rather disappointed by the little few comments that were posted. My guage for how many of you are reading this blog is the number of comments that are posted. If I only see 3 comments it tells me that I’ve just wasted a couple of hours of my life on something that only 2 or 3 of you care about. And yet, if I don’t post a blog, you guys are always going “hey, where’s this week’s blog?”. I’m not asking for praise or anything, but if you post a comment on any subject, at least it tells me that you’re reading.

Alex wants to know how the game went. It was freakin’ awesome as usual! I can sum it up this way: Some of us kicked ass and others were on the receiving end of the ass kicking. Ok, ok, it was more complicated than that but since I’m feeling a little uninspired, I’m gonna leave it at that. Show up next time Mr. Beef and you can see how the game went.

My time is limited so I’m gonna finish up. Donk of the Week was the Weedman again, so I’m not gonna bother changing the title on the Donkey picture. Next week’s game is at Bobby Lobster’s place, and since we won’t be having Ian there, how about inviting Mr. Sub-Par, Jeff G. Maybe next week I’ll feel a little more inspired, but for now ciao ciao. Here’s your car babe of the week: