Smoking found to prevent diseases of old age

Recent statistical analysis of the effects of smoking on health have shown a remarkable correlation between the use of cigarettes and the prevention of the diseases of old age. The research, sponsored by Benson and Hedges, is the first time that smoking has been show unequivocally to ward off a variety of chronic diseases including Alzheimers and Arthritis. Furthermore smokers were also inclined to look far younger on average than their non-smoking counterparts. A final key finding was that there was zero correlation between increased smoking and numbers of deaths. Mr Richard Head, spokesman for Benson and Hedges, stated that the statistics were unequivocal; any individual who’s death might have, rightly or wrongly been attributable to smoking, would have in fact died at some point anyway. Pressure groups against smoking were baffled by the new findings and health benefits but could not find fault with the statistical approach or the conclusions.