Horror Headlines: Monday September 16th, 2013

"Mama" director Andres Muschietti is apparently in talks with the folks over at Universal to take on the directing role of the upcoming "The Mummy" reboot. No real details have come out about the film but it will take place in modern time and the cast from the previous films will not make an appearance. You ever see that episode of "Seinfeld" where Elaine takes the Asian woman from her nail saloon to see "Rochelle Rochelle" but Bette Midler isn't in the show that night and they freak out? That's me right now but replace Bette Midler with Brendan Fraser.

The good folks over at Magnolia Pictures are on the verge of striking a deal that would land them the rights to Ti West's "The Sacrament". A new found footage film, "The Sacrament" follows two reporters as they try to escape from a community outside the US after one of their sisters turns up missing. No word on when or how the film will be released but for the first time I'm going to go ahead and say I think a Ti West movie sounds interesting. Now who wants a hug?

Sean S. Cunningham, the fella who directed the original "Friday the 13th", has dropped word that he expects a new F13 film to see the light of day sometime in 2015 if all goes according to plan. He also let out that the movie will not be a continuation of the 2009 remake but will in fact be a new story. I don't know if that's good or bad but I suppose it's best to keep positive right? Seriously, someone hug me. I just want to be loved.

6 year old Kennedi Clements has landed the role of Madison in the upcoming "Poltergeist" remake. For those of you keeping score at home this is the Carol Anne role from the original movie. So ya know, good luck sleeping at night for the rest of your life Kennedi. Also, what are your parents doing letting you read this website?

In Real People News:

The shocking thing isn't that this couple in South Carolina got caught having sex inside a Home Depot shed display. No the shocking thing was that it happened at 8:30 in the morning. What the hell are these people eating for breakfast? I usually have my greek yogurt and coffee around 8 and I can honestly say I'm not good till around 11.

A 31 year old Washington man is under arrest after he was found " target="_blank">making love to himself on the side of the road as traffic flew by. HIs excuse was pretty solid though, he reportedly told cops he was "working for Jehovah" and "spreading God’s word." Wish I would of thought of that when I was 16 and my mom walked in on me.