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Just Say No to Head Shops and Flower Power

Even we conservatives have moments when the lines begin to cross, and we think we are going to move over to the other side. And so it is with the pot shop debate.

Even though I think that Mary Jane should be legalized about as much as I think that adults should practice dentistry without a license, consuming it for medicinal purposes is another matter. After all, morpheme is legal as long as it is done in the hospital and under a doctor’s care, and Mary Jane should be, too unless administered at a head shop by anyone resembling Jerry Garcia, Joan Baez, Arlo Guthrie or any of those other cast of characters from the 60’s.

The reason is in my Chicago roots where many a storefront operation was really a front for another thing. This was the supposed MO for pizza joints, that served cardboard-like pizza and flat beer, but that somehow always managed to stay afloat no matter what the economic climate. And it was also allegedly true for a certain bicycle store on Devon Avenue that was often devoid of customers or any basic bicycle merchandise in front.

One day while riding my Schwinn near that store, I had a flat tire and went in and had the following conversation with the owner, a beer-bellied man who looked like he hadn’t ridden in years if at all.

Owner: You want new tire with or without inner tube?

Me: What’s the difference?

Owner: One with inner tube is better. It’s going to last longer, but it’s going to cost you more.

Without questioning why he was willing to sell me a bum tire, I bought the more expensive one and left. Later on, I learned the alleged truth about that owner and the place. It was a front for a bookie joint.

Which is why those head-type shops should be shut down as well because it’s too easy for them to segue into something else that will get the party started and keep it rolling well into the night when people are sleeping. Instead, dispensaries should be set up in pharmacies like Sav-On, Walgreens and Rite Aid only not with employees resembling Arlo Guthrie or the Grateful Dead.