Rules for dating my teenage daughter joke

Please don't take this as an insult, but those who do this are complete idiots. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, you may think we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The ONLY information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house. If you want to be on time for something, YOU SHOULD NOT BE DATING.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so here's the deal: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. The key word I need to hear on this issue is your definition of the word "early."Rule Six: I have no doubt that you are a popular guy, with many opportunities to date many girls. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Space Needle.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. Daddy's Rules for Dating Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.To learn more about Amazon Sponsored Products, click here.Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.