Archive for the Cameron Diaz Category

Sure she’s older, more haggard….Botoxed face, maybe even scary looking, like some kind of muppet or treasure troll coming to steal my soul…. rocking a body built to fucking last in a wrestling match, all muscular and broad shouldered, pretending her hourglass figured isn’t boxing out, and her menopause isn’t turning her half man, unable to reproduce and all out of estrogen….

I like Cameron Diaz a lot when she’s photoshopped to shit and I can’t see the strain in her face, or botox needle scars used in efforts to hide the strain in her face….

She partied hard in her younger years, and it’s taken a toll and you can see she’s 40 years old, but she’s got an amazing fucking body, at least when the muscle definition is dulled out, that can be attributed to the abortion industry, cuz there’s no way this bitch hasn’t been knocked up, but clearly she’s never had a baby….

Her legs are long and amazing. She should invest in a technology that makes her look like this all the time.

Here she is in Elle. Dressed like an 18 year old only not 18. Thanks technology for giving her a hand…..now wouldn’t it be nice if you could, you know since at a certain age a finger’s not quite enough….

I mean if you think about it, I should try to be friends with them and sell my site to them, so I can retire, and travel the world with a flipcam making amateur porn videos of dumb sluts for the internet for at least a month, because that’s all this site is worth…

But instead, I write hateful letters to the Vice President, and CEO telling them how useless they are, how shitty their photoshoots are, and to embrace the fact that it’s not 1994 and the world doesn’t need them….

Leading to them hating me and sending me lawyers letters everytime I post pictures of their bottom feeding celebrity photoshoots, that have declined and become more insignificant every year….

Because I’m not in a position to take pics of these bitches in my basement apartment, so I rely on other people to do it for me…

And the funny thing in all this is that MAXIM featured me in an article years ago….gave me a photoshoot like I was Cameron Diaz and shit….giving me more reason to be nice to them…

But I just feel when you’re done, you’re done and sometimes you need a friend to tell you…

That doesn’t mean I don’t like looking at Cameron Diaz’s old photoshopped legs….She’s spectacular…that’s just to say, I’d rather see it in any other venue but in MAXIM…

All these Cameron Diaz pictures in a bikini kinda look the same…A muscular chick with hard nipples on her rock hard pecs walking around like the hot piece of ass she was before the testosterone she was taking took the fuck over, broadened her shoulders, boxed out her hips, robbed her of her ass, and gave her a 6 pack.

I don’t know how I feel about this shit, on one side of the equation, I hate fat chicks, and on the other, I remember the body building stripper I managed to bring home out of curiosity of what fucking a body builder was all about….turns out it is pretty fucking weird, and leaves you with bruised pubic bone and as they dig as hard down as they can to feel as much of your dick as they can before squeezing the fucking thing off in some intensity that makes you feel kinda gay after you cum.

Cameron Diaz brought her long, lean, fit, old lady body I’d fuck, even if it’s not quite what it once was, because it’s better than most old lady bodies I see, maybe because she decided to be vain and not have kids, you know spending her millions on herself, living the good life traveling and partying and fucking various men, while all the other girls she went to high school with live the suburban hell life….but a face can’t always hide the hard living, the thousands of loads it has had dripping off its chin, botched botox, sun damage and a 40th birthday…Not that that doesn’t make her just as erotic as she once was, if anything the experiences that have tainted her ass, make her far more appealing, like choosing the veteran hooker over the fresh faced teenage runaway, only the masturbation version, that is if you can jerk off to a bitch in a red dress, which you can, cuz you grew up on comic books and Green Horney Hornet is all the porn you need….before realizing Seth Rogan is in it….cuz he fucking sucks…

There’s just something about Cameron Diaz…Something magical….Like memories of the first time I had anal sex with my first girlfriend in the back of our highschool during gym class cuz she didn’t want to get pregnant that no matter how much time goes by, it never gets old and is always nice to reflect by trying to violate yourself in the corner while your wife is taking a shit. If you know what I mean and if you don’t I’m trying to say she’s amazing, weathered yes, but amazing.

I am bored of Cameron Diaz and her rectangular body that I can only assume comes with menopause, but her little ass are the remnants of what was Cameron Diaz you probably jerked off to, that I’m not so into her because I never liked Tomboys no matter how tall and thin and luxurious you are, you know the bitch farting and talking about shitting and jerking off like she’s a dude, was never for me, I was alway more more into the girls who were hungry, jonesing for drugs and willing to lick my asshole while jerking me off for 10 dollars, no matter how well I wiped….You know the real ladies of the world…

Not sure where I am going with this…again…I just know that what it comes down to is that menopausal women make me want to drink…..but then again so does everything….

I have seen menopausal women many times before…and if they aren’t round butterball turkey looking motherfuckers…but instead the kind of menopausal woman who tries to take care of herself by hitting the gym hoping at least one low level trainer will pretend to want to fuck her in exchange for 100 dollars a session….you know the kind of menopausal woman who is trying to hold onto her youth and who wants to maintain her looks so hard she’s on special diets cuz her life revolves around being attractive, only to be counter productive thanks to all the hard living pretty much turning herself into a dude cuz of all the weight training and from her tired uterus from all the abortions, contraceptives and HPV have taken their toll and can’t produce lady hormones anymore….but I’m just speculating based on her rectangular shape…

I know, I know, 10 years too late…but these legs go on for days and I couldn’t help but throw these pics up for old times….cuz this tall, thin, once luxurious and tight, now weathered and used pussy still has some kind of appeal..mainly that soon she will lonely and desperate enough to release videos of her getting fucked…trying to hold onto her fame she once had…but I doubt that’ll ever happen…so this may be as good as it fucking gets….tragic.

I am all for seeing pics of anyone in a bikini, especailly Cameron Diaz, because I’ve always thought she had it going on a decade ago and she carried herself into old age pretty fucking gracefully, that was before seeing these pictures of her ripped, thick barrel-chested Mickey Rourke lookin’ body.

Seriously, I don’t think this is even a chick anymore….sure it’s in a bikini….but I’m not convinced until I see pussy lip.

It is your thanksgiving and I figure why should I bother trying to post, no one is going to read it, but then I remembered that the world is not based on fucking America and since I have no readers on a regular day, nothing changes come Holidays….

So here are some pics of Cameron Diaz giving thanks that she’s got tons of money and access to Botox, cuz bitch is old.

These pics are shitty, but at least she’s not fat like most 40 year old pussy that didn’t make a living off their looks, who never married and never got knocked up, cuz they feared getting old and becoming irrlevant…I guess we can thank Hollywood for that, cuz without it, god fucking knows that kind of pig behind the counter at WalMart Cameron Diaz would be.

Not that it matters. Happy Thanksgiving America. Celebrating Natives who are shitty at real estate deals with Turkey meals and football makes total sense to me…but not as much as Cameron Diaz hiding her menopause body while trying to hang onto her youth…but not in a fun, careless sex tape way, but in a covering her menopausal body way. Boring.

Here are pictures of Cameron Diaz that could really be pictures of anyone because they are so fucking blurry. Seriously, this shit is worse than when I take pictures of the girl in the building across the street changing on my ghetto camera phone that doesn’t work, hoping to archive the amazingness, while really ending up with nothin’ but shit.

So they claim this are Cameron Diaz…I have no idea if that is true or not…but here are the rest of the pictures if you are still holding onto the past like so many others….cuz you haven’t realized this bitch is 40 years old….

Cameron Diaz looks like she got a couple fresh shots of BOTOX for this bullshit press tour they are doing for their bullshit movie that I’ve heard way too much about already and shit only premiered last night.

They are pushing it harder than Cameron Diaz pushes her face to smile, or Tom Cruise tries to push his heterosexuality…even though everyone sees past the lie and smells the fucking bullshit…

The people behind the movie went so far as to invite press from around the world to do stunts from the movie like car chases and 180s in cars and jumping building to building with Tom and Cameron to make sure they feel like they had the experience of a lifetime so that this bullshit movie gets written about….There are posters, billboards..the whole thing screams that it’s a horrible waste of time….but people are going to see it….and the only thing I really like about it are her legs.

You can’t fight nature. You can try as hard as you can. You can eat well. You can go to the gym. You can even have a low body fat percentage. You can have abs, you can even have that “V” above the genitals that body builder’s get to prove how ripped they are…and to remind you that sex with them will leave your pelvis busines cuz ever thrust is like a swing from a boney baseball bat…but you can’t help your body from slowly boxing out….hips becoming a thing of your youth as you turn into a rectangle I want to fuck…and the worst thing in all this is that 40 year old Cameron Diaz hasn’t even had kids yet…but her midsection makes me think she has…and I guess so does her vagina but that’s totally unrelated to her aging and thickening and has more to do with her whore youth where she’d insert life-like baby dolls inside her and simulate giving birth as a party trick…..not that you care….

It’s like watching a candle during a boring dinner conversation with your wife during a power failure cuz you didn’t pay your utility bill…You know seeing something put together slowly turn into a pile of fucking mush….not that bitch is ugly…it’s just that now she’s a hot older lady instead of hot young pussy I wanted to explore…but I guess that’s what happens when you don’t die at 30, even if 90 percent of your sex appeal does….

So here are some pics of her face melting into old age and the whole thing is kinda depressing because I remember her being hot young pussy…meaning I’m probably melting too…but I’m an irrelevant dude and I’ve realized I’m dying on the inside long ago….not some starlet people used to masturbate to like Cameron Diaz and these disappointing pics reminding us that all good pussy comes to an end…