For those awakening divine humans

I’ve Been Around The World

For those of us who are awakening, we find ourselves increasingly uncomfortable in a world in which others are still asleep. That’s the bad news, but the good news is that we will adjust, and they will adjust to us, too, in time.

Meanwhile, there are times we may want to tell those in our life…the ones that we are close to, the following, not necessarily to their face, maybe just in our mind’s eye:

“I’ve been around the world, and I have walked the long, lonely road. I’ve played so many roles: both victim and perpetrator. I’ve been to hell and back. I’ve done the heavy lifting.

Now, it’s MY time. Perhaps I didn’t make that clear. But for the rest of my time here on Planet Earth I am devoting myself to me – to MY life…to filling myself up. I am committing myself to my enlightenment, my ascension. And to fulfilling my heart’s desires.

And, as much as I love you all, those heart’s desires do not necessarily include you. They are just for me. Truly, they are my own personal gift to myself. They are things I want to experience, feelings I want to feel. Just for me. They include fun, creativity, passion, and personal peace. I’m not sure where it will lead me, but that’s part of the adventure.

I’m beginning to walk the planet in a very different way. And it makes me uncomfortable and I know it makes you uncomfortable. I care about you, but I won’t care-take you. I’m not available for drama, or for finger-pointing. I am not responsible for your happiness.

I see the god-light in you so I’m not worried about you. I’m here to love myself and by doing that I can be the new role model for you, and the rest of humanity, of a new way of being. I’m beginning to take responsibility for my life, for all my feelings. I’m discovering that responsibility doesn’t include self-blame, but self-understanding. I’m taking a bold step. I’m no longer identifying so much with who I was yesterday.

Who I was, was mostly a product of old stale beliefs and programming. Someone who tried and tried to fit into a system that had little to do with who I really was. Who I really am.

So, I am excited, and I am scared. I am unsure a lot of the time. But then so was Einstein, Buddha, and Jesus. They often felt unsure living in the world of the asleep. And as they awakened they felt less and less connected to the energies of the world around them. But there was the spark of knowingness within them that kept them going.

It’s what keeps me going.

I love sharing who I am but I am discerning and will share it only with those who are asking. My energies are far too valuable to squander on trying to make others understand. Those who are asleep are truly where they need to be…besides, my joy doesn’t depend upon everyone ‘getting it.’ And, as I am discovering, my joy also doesn’t depend upon others liking me. Trying to seek approval, what a game that is. Exhausting. Fruitless!

Humanity pulls at my heartstrings – and I sometimes respond by wanting to soothe their pain. Because I DO feel their pain. But I now know that doing that only prolongs their pain. Helping them to see their own light is what’s called for now. And that I do by shining mine, by creating a life I love, by not identifying with the heavy thoughts and feelings that pass through me.

So, if you are feeling abandoned by me, that’s good. Because those feelings of abandonment will ultimately lead you to discovering yourself. Eventually, maybe tomorrow, maybe not for awhile, you will begin your awakening, and when you do, I will be there, right along side you, in a way that is profound. We are all in this together. We each have our role we are playing.

My wish for you is that you discover, as I have, that you don’t need to go too far to find yourself, that home is right here.”

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece.
I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Eight years later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

2 thoughts on “I’ve Been Around The World”

I’ve just recently found your blog and I’ve read almost everything on kundalini, spiritual emergency (Grof’s) ascension process, etc and I am so grateful for posting all of this and wish i could have found it sooner. I believe I’m at that point where IT IS INTENSE!!!. GONE THRU SO MANY TSUNAMI’S WHERE I THOUGHT (PHEW) THIS IS OVER NOW AND THEN A BIGGER ONE AND MORE FIERCE COMES. Thank you for all of the articles. I’ve only read about 6 but they so esonate with me. Could you briefly tell me personally what you have been through. I have doubted myself so many times.

It’s funny you use the word tsunami, because that’s exactly what came to my mind yesterday, as I reviewed my life over the past decade. Absolutely, just as you think you are done another wave comes crashing to shore, even more intense than the last one.

I have gone through physical, emotional and financial ‘chaos.’ Losing (actually letting go) of family, friends, jobs, and for the most part, my old identity. Getting sick in order to detach from my old care taking role, from my dependencies on others, and, while there were many moments of bliss and joy, also feeling fear, anger, and hopelessness.

The say what doesn’t kill you just makes you stronger. It’s like being in the spin cycle of a washing machine….all the old, stuck energies are being spun out of us and meanwhile there’s a lot of agitation.

And I do feel stronger, in terms of knowing that it’s senseless to resist this process. So I ride the waves more now, which means I still feel the intensity of the process, but I am not submerged in it. I’m more detached from it. I still feel the frustration and anger and sadness, but I don’t identify so much with those feelings. …not taking it so personally anymore.

And the doubt we feel comes from our mind. It’s well trained to doubt and bases anything new on old experiences. The problem with that is, we are in the new energy, which does not have any reference to the past. The greatest of pioneers (which we are) doubted much of the time. Until they reach their enlightenment, and then they just laugh a lot, enjoying life in a joyfully detached way.

I find that expressing myself (my next post is titled “Express Yourself”) helps tremendously, even just journaling for myself with a nice, hot cup of coffee.

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You are an awakening human…

If you found your way to this site, and you resonate with it, you are an awakening human. As an awakening human, any creative form you participate in is imbued with the new energy, because you are of the new energy. That form can be art, music, writing, planting a garden, starting a business, knitting a sweater, you name it. It contains your radiance, your essence. And it's not about being perfect at it, it's about enjoying it and hopefully sharing it on some level. Your soul essence wants to express. It's why you're here. It's why I'm here. So go and express!
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