Retail Balls Awards

I was standing in line in a book store waiting for my purchase. The cashier had one of those ear pieces for walkie talkies.

Suddenly she touches her mike and says, "I'm helping a line at registers, can someone else get that?"

It takes her all of five seconds.

Her current customer throws a fit, calling her rude for talking into her walkie while a customer was right in front of her. She won't be appeased, no matter how much logic is applied, or explanations given.

Finally the cashier turned to the Information Desk, several yards away, cups her hands over her mouth and bellows;

Cashier: "HEY [NAME]! A CUSTOMER SAYS IT'S RUDE OF US TO USE OUR WALKIES TO COMMUNICATE! SHALL I SEND A NOTE TO CORPORATE?"

And without missing a beat, the coworkers bellows back,

Coworker: "NO, DON'T BOTHER. WE'LL JUST SCREAM AT EACH OTHER ACROSS THE STORE INSTEAD!"

The cashier gives her customer the biggest, sweetest smile and says;

Cashier: "Better?"

The customer muttered something inaudible and scurried out like a cockroach when the lights come on.

I had a guy that made my blood boil about that once. The price on a box of folders went up like $.20. There was a four foot section of them. Something like 50 price tags in there for them. The guy that changes the tags, missed one.

This guy comes up with it, and it scans at the higher price.

Custy: "That's not right. It is [old price], it has always been [old price], that is the right price. You have to give it to me at that price. Why did it change in your system? Your system is wrong, it is supposed to be that price! You need to fix it now."

Me: "Sorry, the price went up."

Custy: "No it didn't! I can prove it! There is a sign!"

I follow him out there and yep, one missed label. I take it destroy it, and adjust the price, for that one, because it is only $0.20 and I want to get him out of there.

He looks at me and smugly says: "See! I told you it was that price. You need to go out there and relabel all of those other tags too! Your system is wrong!"

I said: "Look, the price went up. I am giving you this price, because we missed ONE label. You will never get that price again. If you ever come in here to buy these again they will be at the NEW price. The system is NOT wrong. YOU are.

Custy: "But..."

Me: "But nothing. Do you want these or not? If not, I will put them back on the shelf, and they will be at the right, NEW price."

He shut up and bought them. Never saw him again. It was probably not my best "customer service" but it was nice opening up on him a bit.

Of course a long time has passed and I would probably be fired for that now. I have lost the nerve to fight back, self preservation and all that. Back then, I didn't care. I still have the hate for the one label though.

My mam works in a supermarket on the tills, and has done so for about fourteen years. She started about three months after the shop opened so she is one of the longest serving staff members there. My mam also gets on really well with everyone, staff and customers, and everyone knows my mam is not one for bullshit.

About four years ago a new manager started in the supermarket, we'll call him MD for Massive Dickhead. MD came from an inner city job where I guess you had to fight to make a name for yourself. The supermarket my mam works in is in a small town so they were unprepared for his shenanigans.

On one fateful morning my mam was one of two checkout staff on duty. My mam was counting tills, getting them ready for when the other staff came in. The other girl was serving customers. While counting one particular till, my mam noticed a small queue forming on the one active till. My mam went over to a different, ready till and asked for the next customer. After serving that customer the girl on the other till tells my mam she can handle the rest and to go back counting the tills.

My mam gets back to the till she was counting and MD is standing there, she also noticed she left the cash drawer open. He says;

MD: "Can you show my how to count tills please?"

Mam: "Of course."

So she starts counting this till from scratch. The till is down €40. My mam is a little flustered at this as her tills are only ever off by a couple of cents, if ever. My mam said;

Mam: "I must have miss counted, I'll try again".

Again the till is €40 down. At this point my mam is close to tears and says;

Mam: "I don't understand... this till should not be off!"

MD: "I noticed the cash drawer was open and no-one was here. Because of this, someone has obviously taken money and then ran, unless the culprit is still here. (very pointedly) Go home. You are suspended until an investigation can be made. Come in tomorrow morning for a meeting."

My mam left the shop in floods of tears. She offered to pay out of her own pocket but was told again to just leave. That night a friend of my mam's who also works at the shop as a supervisor called and said;

Friend: "Martsigras's Mam... I have something to tell you about what happened today but you need to swear you will keep it under your hat! We were all told to not contact you about anything or we would be suspended. MD took the money out of the till. He is doing this to make an example of you."

My mam thanked her for calling and at least she knew what the score was for the meeting the next day.

During the meeting MD berates my mam relentlessly about stealing and basically makes a show of her. In the end he told her that it was him who took the money from the till, and that it was a lesson. He also told her she was suspended for a week.

This was a Friday, and that night my parents went out for a drink to try and take my mam's mind off what happened. While out, a friend of my parents', a lawyer, noticed my mam was not herself and asked what was wrong. My mam first said it was nothing and then said;

Mam: "James... Can I get your opinion on something from a legal point of view please?"

James: "Of course! What happened?"

My mam told him the tale and he said;

James: "... wow. You know you can nail him and the whole shop to the wall for what he did to you?"

Mam: "I don't want money, I just want an apology."

James told my mam he would call over to the house the following day with his laptop and he would write up a legal letter that she can give in to the shop.

The letter was written up the following day and on Monday morning my mam walked into the shop, asked for the head supervisor and said, "Please make sure (head of chain) gets this," and walked back out.

That night the head of the chain phoned my mam and started falling over himself with apologies about what happened. He also said the suspension was lifted. My mam cut him off and said;

Mam: "I am not interested in suing, all I want is for MD to apologize to me."

Head: "Of course, of course!!"

The following day my mam received a letter of apology signed from MD and my mam called up the head again;

Mam: "Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I want a face-to-face apology. I will not accept a letter that, frankly, anyone could have written. I want him to apologize to me and I want him to look me in the eye when he does it!"

The following day my mam got her apology and a few weeks later MD was no longer at the supermarket. The head never forgot about this and has since made my mam's life at that shop a whole lot more bearable.

Woe betide any manager who tries that shit with her again!

-------------------------

Now, before anyone says anything, she did leave the till open, and she put her hand up and said she fucked up. She also said she would put €40 of her own money into the register to replace the missing money.

Had he said, there and then, "I took the money, if this happens again I will take this further," then THAT would have been a justified punishment.

It was half past 7 in the morning, the shop had only just opened and there were only a couple of stragglers in the shop, also there were security cameras all over the place. The actual culprit could have been identified in an instant. MD ignored my mam's pleas to check the footage.

In my mams 11/12 years in the shop (to that point) this was the first time she fucked up, this should have been a first warning. It most certainly should not have been 24 hours in purgatory and a week suspension.

Chef Michael Scelfo gets a Retail Balls Award for standing up to horrible custys threatening and insulting his staff. He took their pic and shamed them on Instagram! Way to go Chef!

From Eater:

The takedown included the hashtag #wedontnegotiatewithyelpers.

Attention keyboard warriors: Threatening a restaurant owner with a poor Yelp review can backfire, and when it does, it can backfire hard. According to Eater Boston, a pair of "smug-looking" customers walked into chef Michael Scelfo's restaurant Alden & Harlow last week with no reservation, decided to seat themselves without any reservation, and then proceeded to berate and insult the restaurant staff. The impudent duo refused to leave and threatened the restaurant with an awful Yelp review.

Scelfo was not having it though, and took to Instagram to call out the two women. He posted a (now deleted) photo of the diners with a description of their abhorrent behavior and the hashtags #kbye and #wedontnegotiatewithyelpers. Scelfo added later: "It's one thing to be entitled... but mistreat my family. Hell no." The chef posted a follow up comment on Instagram, explaining that his staff decided to take the "high road":

We tried to have them leave, they refused. Taking their drink away and being forceful is not hospitable. So in lieu of calling the police (only other recourse imo) which seemed too strong a response, we opted to kill them with kindness until they left. We as a team endured a ton of abuse but ultimately chose the high road. My choice to post this is not to slander on them per say but to call attention to a major flaw in the current 'online review system & entitled mentality.' Ultimately, it's about protecting the integrity of our (well documented) humble and gracious staff. Feel free to vilify me for posting, but I stand by my post.

Eater Boston writes that it was Instagram that pulled the original photo of the two female diners that "accumulated thousands of likes." Scelfo noted in a new post that regardless of the photo being taken down, "#wedontnegotiatewithyelpers stands true though," adding, "I would encourage more people to be responsible with [Yelp]. Uber allows for service providers to rate customers, we should move to that system."

Like Scelfo, other restaurant owners have had a hard time standing by while Yelpers trash their establishments online. Last October, an angry Yelper posted a screed about Voltaire in Kansas City when staff wouldn't bend their take-out order rules. Instead of sitting back, ownership hopped onto the review site and fired off a sassy response of their own, explaining their side of the situation, and calling out the Yelper and her husband's behavior.

I'm changing over prices for the new sale that's starting today. The girl who was in with me, she's lovely but a ditz, offers to help so I send her to change some signs over on the top shelf. Any prices that are higher can be displayed. Anything lower, you fold over.

Guess what she does? Leaves a sign up that says something is for sale at £15 when it's actually £28.

Enter Dick and his surprisingly passive wife and kids. Wife wants to buy the perfume for £15. I scan it, thinking it's gonna come up less than that only to see the correct price. I realise what's happened.

Me: I'm really sorry. That's not supposed to be displayed yet. That price goes into effect tomorrow. The girl I had in earlier left it up by mistake.

The woman shrugs and starts backing away. Her husband however....

Dick: Well, I think you should sell it to us at that price.

I'm crouched down behind the counter putting the stock away.

Me: I don't have to sell it to you at that price.

He starts to "puff" himself up. You know like people do when they're mad?

Dick: I think you'll find you DO!

I stand up. Turn around. Plant my hands on the counter and look him dead in the eye.

Me: I have no LEGAL obligation to sell it to you at that price.

He takes a step back. His wife and kids are waiting by door so he starts to leave. Just before he gets to the exit he stops and turns around to point at me.

Dick: And just so you know, you have a bad attitude.

Then he storms off. Obviously proud of himself for "standing up" to the mean lady half his age just doing her job.

Is it bad that I laughed out loud immediately after he said it? Is it also bad that I was kinda giddy while it happening?

My first crusty! Omg!

I went and folded the sign down but to be honest I was half expecting him to be petty and come back again or something. If there's a complaint about me, oh well, the company wouldn't do jack and my manager loves me.

Before I worked at the happiest place on earth, I worked at the next biggest theme park in the area. I did attractions and worked at a big roller coaster themed around a big green guy.

I think attractions are pretty much the retail hell of theme parks, though I haven't worked merchandise, so I don't know. Attractions get paid the lowest amount possible, and have to put up with the most BULLSHIT out of any single area at the park. It doesn't help working at the most popular ride at the resort, not to mention being right near the entrance to the park.

First off, the costume was a neon yellow jumpsuit thingy. I affectionately called myself and my coworkers "The Gamma Bananas." However, there were three issues with the ride that pretty much came up constantly:

One: our ride has free lockers. I must again say that they were FREE. They didn't cost anything, but it was only for the duration of the ride. If the line randomly got too long and you missed it by a couple of minutes, we would normally get the locker open for you for free as long as you didn't just leave your stuff in there all day.

I cannot tell you how many people got upset or did the impatient "sigh" when I wouldn't let them go in line with their bags. If someone wasn't riding, I said sure, because even if they thought they "scammed" me, there were at least 5 other people at the top that would be there to make sure they were honest. And if you DID try and ride with a bag, we would send you downstairs to a locker without letting you ride.

Though, if you went down, you could come right back up the exit and ride since, you know, you HAD waited the entire line. However, one day the lockers led to the WORST GUEST EVER.

This prick has a red backpack, and he leaves it on top of, not in, the lockers. It's an unattended bag. We have to treat it as a bomb threat, so the lockers guy gives me the bag (I'm ambassador that day - meaning I sweep the general area and have a radio on me) and I take it to greeter, where we put it aside and call security.

The guy gets off the ride, and asks the locker attendant about his bag. We have it, we take it to him, and he FLIPS OUT AND STARTS YELLING AND CURSING AT OUR GREETER (a girl half his size and age, btw).

We have no right to touch his stuff, blah blah blah, I paid such and such and I should be able to put my bag wherever, yadda yadda.

WTF dude? Your shit could have been STOLEN, and you left an unattended bag in the middle of a theme park. If you did that in an airport, you would be DETAINED. So yeah, yell at us for you being a fuckwit.

The best part is, is he comes BACK to the ride, puts his bag in the SAME PLACE, and screams at the greeter girl "I PUT MY FUCKING BAG ON TOP OF THE LOCKER, DON'T FUCKING TOUCH IT."

I hear my managers/team leaders over the radio. By the time he gets off the ride and gets downstairs, here's who's waiting: My team lead, my manager, and my manager's manager, as well as me. He immediately starts yelling all the usual stuff, and my manager's manager calmly talks him through all of it. He still is yelling and I've had just about enough of this guy. Finally he says the magic words: "Well, it isn't posted anywhere and no one told me I had to put my bag up!"

I proceed to pull a park map out and say "Actually sir, right here in our ride description on the map it says you need to put bags and loose items in the locker. *I point to a sign near the entrance to the queue* It also says at the bottom of that sign that all bags need to be in a locker, *points to another sign* as well as in large letters at that sign over there next to the restaurant. Furthermore, I was here earlier when you left the ride, and I clearly remember myself, our greeter, and our lockers attendant all telling you that you had to put your bag in a locker if you came back, and I also QUITE clearly remember you screaming obscenities at our greeter as you entered the line this time."

The little girl this guy has with him (I think granddaughter) has been giving him this "WTF let it be" look this entire time. He looks at me stunned. Both the area manager and my manager look at me stunned. The area manager quietly says, "Just go clean or something."

I stay silent and walk a bit away until the guy leaves, at which point I'm motioned over by my manager. His response: "[my name], I'm supposed to be talking to you about your actions. *looks around* Don't do that again, okay?" No disciplinary actions, not nothing.

Two: our height restriction was 4 ft. 6 in. Many kids didn't meet this, and it stunk. SO MANY angry parents about this. "His hair touches! He hits when he's on his tippy toes! He's been waiting all this time and this is the only ride he wants to ride and HOW DARE YOU RUIN THIS LITTLE BOYS VACATION?"

IT'S A SAFETY RULE. IF HE ISN'T THAT TALL, ODDS ARE HE'LL BOUNCE AROUND LIKE A PINBALL IN THE RESTRAINTS AND POSSIBLY SLIDE OUT. It isn't my rule, and I can't change it. Also, his SKULL (bone) needs to hit the height bar before he can go up. If Kimbo Slice (who actually came through the ride) can abide by this rule without getting pissed off, so can you.

Three: apparently the ride going down is always my fault and I'm expected to fix it or know exactly when it's going to be reopened. I don't know, not the mechanic, and even they don't give us time estimates. Although usually ride down times lets me be creative with the reason why. My personal favorite was that Dr. Banner had achieved inner peace and would no longer transform. The gamma team was looking to correct this with practical jokes and whoopie cushions.

I have the utmost respect for people that work at any and ALL attractions at theme parks across the world. Good luck out there!

Apparently, it was two things: One, she mouthed off to one of the leaders as he was giving her a discussion (just shy of a write-up) and then she was caught taking one of the few drinks we aren't allowed to take for free. A coordinator of ours actually got fired for taking one of those same drinks (even though he had gotten approval from management and totally did NOT deserve it). She, honestly, did NOT belong in customer service.

Secondly, though, I would like to nominate a now former coworker of mine for a Retail Balls Award. This guy was a stocker/kitchen worker, and he was the most RELAXED person I've ever met.

Even in the most chaotic of scenes, he was always calm. I'll call him N. Well, a few days ago, we had a really bad rush at the hot dog stand in Tomorrowland. It was seriously slammed; we ran out of everything, it was awful. I even wound up yelling at one of my manager's ON THE LINE, IN FRONT OF GUESTS, because I was trying to get him to follow the order of the tickets, and he was going around that.

This manager, M, literally clocked in and walked into a madhouse that day, so while I can't blame him for walking in and merely asking if who was first instead of looking at the tickets. Thankfully, he apologized to me and I didn't get so much as a discussion for it. (Lucky me!)

Anyway, this same day, M goes over to the kitchen where N was working. I say was, because at this point and time, he was on his break. WHILE STILL ON BREAK, M proceeds to verbally chew out N in the worst way possible.

I have no idea what exactly was said, but apparently N got so pissed off at M that he stood up, said something to the effect of "Fuck this, and fuck you. I quit," then threw his ID card in M's face.

So, now we're short staffed, but thankfully we're coming to the end of summer and getting a new wave of CPs. << Hopefully the lack of staff won't last.