The vegan blokes blog

Wine and Cheese event

10 Aug 2017

Last night I attended an E Health awards function; afterward, there was the “wine and cheese” event. I am fortunate our admin lady is switched on and pre-ordered vegan wine and cheese for me. Like Smaug, I am guarding my vegan table of goodies from the Carni’s. Anyways, while I am enjoying my dragon hoard, I notice a woman, approaching our way; one of my Tongan brothers is standing with me, helping stand guard, while munching some olives. She slides up next to him, with a smile.
Lady: “What’s to offer on this table?”
Tongan Bro: “Hi, this is the vegan table” smiling back. I give him a wink. Silently mouthing the words “jungle fever”.
Lady: “Oh, are you vegan?” My bro shakes his head no. “I’m surprised there aren’t any vegans hoarding the table…they are such a weird bunch, vegans.”
My Tongan bro suppresses a smile, observing any obvious reaction I may have.
Tonga Bro: “One of our team members is vegan.”
Lady: “Oh really, I suppose she looks pasty and malnourished”
Tongan Bro: Laughing, pointing at me, “Here SHE is, yes she’s quite pasty and hipster thin” continues to laugh.
Lady: Surprised “Oh, I didn’t realise there were any Polynesian Vegans, and you look disgustingly healthy” she departs.
Tongan Bro: “I don’t think she likes Samoans”