Shark Attack Backpack

WE’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BAG

This Shark Attack Backpacks promises not to eat you. It will, however, eat your stuff, ’cause it’s a backpack. It can’t help it. It’s in its nature.

This oceanic backpack comes complete with one stuffed dorsal fin and side pockets for all your pelagic storage needs. This backpack design is a ThinkGeek exclusive, so if you dig it, you’d better jump on it. Come on in – the water’s fine! Provided you don’t have any cuts. Remember: sharks can smell a drop of blood from quarter of a mile away. Much like our ability with Cheetos.

Oh boy, now that’s an introductory speech with so many real-world applications! Debate Club? Prepare for trouble! Presentation at work? Make it double! Meddling kids keeping a super special Pikachu from you? Well, yeah, of course. Obviously.

When we became super villains, we always knew that we’d one day face some of the Avengers. We couldn’t have expected this turn of events though. It’s a battle that will end one of two ways: we succumb to brain freeze, or the Avengers end up melted in a puddle.