Sunday, June 19, 2011

I Heart My Crib

About ten years ago, we did some landscaping. I told Big Daddy that we should hire a landscape architect to draw the plans for us and we could do the work. Landscape architect? Little woman, he says, do you lay in bed at night and think of ways to spend money. Sometimes it's the only thing that takes my mind off my nighttime hotties.

When I have an idea to do something that involves BD's cooperation, I float it out there like a balloon. If he has an absolute fit, I don't do it. If he has a mild fit with muttering about how he needs another bike, I do it. How many bikes do you need, I mutter back. Lordy, don't ever let him decide to count my jeans. Ankle, skinny, cropped, wide, stretch, not stretch, dressy, not dressy........

When the landscaper came, I had a table full of pictures from magazines. I took her around my house. See, I said, it's cottagey and not perfect and my landscaping has to be like that. So you want a controlled chaos look, she says. Yes, yes, just like my hair. She drew us a plan and it took six years to finish. The first time we went to the nursery to buy bushes we had $300.00. In Nurseryville, that's really funny. We moved dirt until we couldn't lift our arms to even drink the beer we desperately wanted. If you want to know why landscaping is so expensive, try doing it yourself because it will beat you until all you can say in an itty-bitty voice is, "Mama, mama........help me.".

Was it worth it? Every time I walk out the door, I can't believe I get to live in this house.