Andrew Lloyd Webber:Growltiger's Last Stand Lyrics

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Growltiger was a Bravo cat who travelled on a bargeIn face he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at largeFrom Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aimsRejoicing in his title of the 'Terror of the Thames'His manners and appearance did not calculate to pleaseHis coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the kneesOnce ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you whyAnd he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye

The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fameAt Hammersmith and Putney people shuddered at his nameThe would fortify the hen house, lock up the silly gooseWhen the rumor ran along the shore: Growltiger's on the loose!

Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cageWoe to the pampered Pekeinese, that face Growltiger's rageWoe to the bristly bandicoot, that lurks on foreign shipsAnd woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips

But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowedTo cats of foreign name and race no quarter was allowedThe Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fearBecause it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear

Now on a peaceful summer night all nature seemed at playThe tender Moon was shining bright, the barge at Molsey layAll in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tideAnd Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side

In the forepeak of the vessel Growltiger stood aloneConcentrating my attention on the Lady GriddleboneAnd my raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunksAs the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but GriddleboneAnd the lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritoneDisposed to relaxation and awaiting no surpriseBut the moonlight sone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes

And closer still and closer the sampans circled 'roundAnd yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sounThe foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knivesAnd the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives

Then Gilbert gave the signal to his fierce Mngolian hordesAbandoning their sampans, the Chinks they swarmed aboardAbandoning their sampans, the pullaways, their junksThey battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks

Then Griddlebone she gave a screech for she was badly skeeredI am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappearedShe probably escaped with ease, I'm sure she was not drownedBut a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround

The ruthless foe pressed forward in subborn rank on rankGrowltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plankHe who a hundered victims had driven to that dropAt the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip, kerflop

Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the landAt Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the strandRats were roasted whole in Brentford and Victoria DockAnd a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok!

These modern productions are all very wellBut there's nothing to equal from what I hear tellThat moment of mystery when I made history