how was she get the information she needs to conduct a background check in the first place. Is this your mother something and how old are you I'm confused by this all around

She hasn't run it yet. I'm not giving her information because of this. She's pressuring me into giving her more information. Not like demanding, she's more passive aggressive with it. "you need to run a bc, just give me the info and I'll make sure he's cool."

When OTHER family members bring him up in conversation and ask questions about him, they'll get all suspicious "i.e. at his age, why isn't he married? You sure he doesn't have kids?! Are you sure he isn't lying about his age like [insert person they know who actually did lie about age to his gf]" From there I state that he is honest about this information, he volunteers information in casual conversation. I have not caught him in a lie not once.

The person I'm referring to in the OP (older sister who acts like a surrogate mother type) instead of saying she's met him and he's cool so far...or simply backing me up in front of other family just has to take charge and insist that she will run a BC. This insinuates that the only way information can be trusted is if it comes from someone who isn't myself. I'm 25 and a pretty decent judge of character...the other family members are almost all significantly older. Whenever I disagree about this they make me out to just be easily duped...hence this thread.

seriously, unless she is a professional matchmaker and has a roster of A+ clients that are pining over you that she wants to hook you up with asap, she needs to fall back. she must have been through some thangs when she was your age and now is paranoid that you will go through the same pain but we all have to navigate through dating on our own as adults.

What is he saying or doing that's making someone THAT suspicious of him?

I'm not condoning someone being all up in your business like that, but I can't imagine they'd be going so hard unless they see red flags they feel like you're ignoring.

He has done a total of... ::druuuuuuuumrolllll:: ...

NOTHING to warrant this. I'm not just white-knighting for him either. I knew him for a year before dating him. A sister met him within that timeframe. I wouldn't have even gone out with him had he not already met certain criteria. I don't date just anyone.

Now she got me so squirrel-y I'm getting suspicious at him and over-analyzing everything he says and does.

There are certain things that a BC can provide info on others thing you have to experience by observing the actions of that person.I am that opinionated friend but I do know when to back off and she should trust your instincts what might be a issue for her might not be for you. I also don't get how she would think her having the info before you would be helpful.

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