I'm just a fellow out standing in his field...
The Daily Strumpet is the continuation of the Daily Strumpet newsletter which started in 1983. Anything else is just a cheap ripoff.

The Useful Duck!

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Thursday, September 5, 2013

King Kong at the Great White Barn- Maybe

I bought King Kong on Ebay...
It has not arrived.
I should not bid on things late at night after working all day...
I am 90 percent positive it has sound.
When it arrives I plan on showing it on the side of the barn that is across the road from my house. I will, of course, not invite anyone till the last moment...if at all.
However, if you see this notice, consider yourself tentatively invited...
The weekend of September 20th, on a Saturday evening. I have not looked at the calendar.
Things that will influence the showing of this movie...
1. If I forget
2. If it does not arrive
3. If it has no sound
4. If I drop the projector again and bust the bulb
5. If it rains
6. If aliens abduct me and don't return me in time for the movie
7. If I have to bale hay or chop silage or something farming related
8. If the rest of you are raptured and I get 20 feet in the air and say "oh #$%^&*" and fall back down to earth I will be too depressed to show the movie and will take to drinking in a big way.

Things that will not prevent me showing the movie...
1. roaming pole thieves stealing all the electric poles. I have several generators
2. earthquakes and pestilence- I have a generator and a bug zapper and gas masks
3. no one showing up to watch it...

I am so bummed that we will be on the right bank, in the shadow of that spire. The collies will warn of large primates not wearing suits. If you are showing Kong on the side of a barn the same time I am calling a barn dance outdoors in a city park in Manhattan, will damage be felt somewhere between Cincinnati and Peoria?

Have been bugging the daughter to agree to jam with you. Was actually bidding on Kong in the hopes of a Willie Nelson style birthday party, only without the chronic, or the people, or Willie Nelson, or...Moving to the farm and leaving the fire pit amongst the Lilac's really ruined the party life for me...If you see a large ape climbing the side of the Empire State building give me a call. I may have rewound the film improperly and thus released King Kong onto the world once again...

No aliens, pygmies perhaps...There could be aliens attending. The whole misadventure could be alien to the local community. I may alienate my friends because I never invite anyone until five minutes before I decide to show movies on the barn.