About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area, maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon. We don't know…

(SUNG)

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.

I'm your average white suburbanite slob.

I like google and torrents and books about war.

I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.

My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested (oh no) no way (uh-uh). No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense.

(oh yeah) yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

I download real fast from folks I don't know,

While leeches behind me are going real slow.

I'm a pirate (He's a pirate, what a pirate)

I'm a pirate (He's a pirate, such a pirate)

I use public trackers to download a movie,

I watch it with friends asking "Who wants a copy?"

I'm a pirate (He's a pirate, what a pirate)

I'm a pirate (He's the world's biggest pirate)

Sometimes I cap my uploading limit,

so gov't assholes will hopefully zip-ip.

I'm a pirate (He's a pirate, what a pirate)

I'm a pirate (He's a real fucking pirate)

Maybe I shouldn't go download that ROM

Ranting and raving and carrying on

Maybe they'll find out I'm downloading songs…

NAAAAH!

I'm a pirate (he's a pirate, what a pirate)

I'm a pirate (he's the world's biggest pirate)

(SPOKEN)

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make a siterip of suicide girls, met-art, and any other site with hot girls and massive headlights. Yeah! And I'm gonna upload that baby at 115 mb an hour, getting 50 seeds an hour, sucking down redbull and Caramel Thickshakes from McDonald's or at least I would if they didn't stop making them! And when I'm done uploadin' those porn sites I'm gonna download my favorite movie seventeen times for the hell of it, and there ain't a God-damned thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because everyone does it, that's why!

Two words--everyone fucking downloads, OK? Sweden, Switzerland, Pakistan - they can download all the shit they want. They can have a big pirate party right in the middle of Police headquarters and it won't make a lick of difference, because it's legal, OK? P2P's not dead - it's crazy! And when you shut down a site, they'll just make a new one and they'll make it faster. You know why? You ever serve a web-page? Well, multiply that by 15 million users. That's how fast it needs to be.

I'm gonna get aXXo and FXG and extremezone (Hey) and SuriusShare (Hey) and a bootleg of Avatar (Hey) and drive up to Switzerland… (Hey, Hey, Hey)