Hearne: Pitch Parent Unveils Real Deal, New Women’s Zine

When Nashville-based SouthComm bailedVillage Voice out of the local red ink machine known as the Pitch earlier this year, it was every alt journalist for his or herself. The handwriting, long on the wall, had sent longtime Pitch editor C.J. Janovy and top writing gun Nadia Pflaum scurrying for greener paycheck pastures along with carpetbagger JoeTone.

And there’s since been strong journalistic evidence that – unlike the village idiots – SouthComm gets it.

If you want to be a successful alternative newsweekly, don’t weigh readers down with overly-long opuses and shopworn hipster subject matter and points of view.

Just come clean and give ’em some news they can use.

SouthComm’s Nashville Scene was a hipper, gentler breath-of-fresh air compared to the dated hipness of the Pitch. Plus it was printed on coated stock – as in glossy paper – and insiders say the wretches at the Star‘s pseudo alt weekly Ink were (and still are) shivering in their timbers.

That said, SouthComm had a lot more up its publishing sleeve and the betting money was that KC would get a taste of it…

That being two equally smart, snazzy zines, Her Nashville and The City Paper. Again, both on glossy magazine stock – and both high quality variants to the run-of-the-mill grocery rack offerings or stuffy business pubs we’re all too familiar with.

And as of this month, Eagle No. 1 has landed in the form of Her Kansas City...

Which I’m here to tell you, blows away the local competition that I’ve seen.

Sizewise, think of it as a hipper-looking version of KC society zine The Independent. Plus it’s all color, all of the time.

However what sets Her Kansas City apart is its editorial content.

The fact that Her KC actually has editorial content – real news, real features and real real – puts it in a class by itself.

Really.

I’m not a mom, never had a period and subscribing to Cosmo (almost) never has crossed my mind.

However I can read, I do get around, and not only does Her KC have style, it has a bit of substance. Including an up-front interview with Kauffman Center attendence exaggerator Jane Chu, a well-written how-to-meet-dudes column, a Nadia Pflaum feature on UnicornTheatre honcho Cynthia Levin, a legit fashion spread featuring models from the Kansas City Ballet, a second coming of infamous former Pitch bad grrrl Jen Chen, a tip sheet for working moms, a wedding survival tale, wine etiquette tips and columns about kids, spirit, health, attitude and KC history.

Now here’s the total deal…

The writing and reporting isn’t dumbed down like it all-too-often to always is in other women’s zines.

Believe it or not, these guys are legit!

And it’s not an ad rag – not yet anyway. And I don’t think it will be because that doesn’t appear to be the mission statement. Her Kansas City’s October issue has 40 pages, 19 1/2 of which are ads. Compare that with the 132 page, July issue of HerLife magazine with approximately 68 1/2 pages of ads to make it past.

If you ask me, Her Kansas City – while it also panders to local adverstisers – is far more substantive and has the makings of a publication women would actually want to read. Rather than just a pub populated by boilerplate designed as a garnish for the mag’s sales reps.

I’s only a one off, but at long last KC appears to have landed a thinking class women’s zine not too smart for its own good.

Didn’t knowI saw the magazine the other day. I’m a guy but it looked like something my wife would like so I brought one home and I was right. She read it cover to cover. I didn’t know it was related to The Pitch. It is a very nice looking publication.

There are also a lot of intelligent womenI’m a college educated, mother of three holding down a good full time job. I agree there are some dumb women out there, but there are sure as hell a ton of dumb as shit men out there as well. You were making assumptions on women that might be reading this new magazine, and I’d bet you your therapist’s bill that you haven’t even seen it yet. As Hearne stated, this is a quality publication (or at least the first one is). I hope that this is the beginning of something good for women in KC.

Smart man or dumbman?Obviously you know nothing about women!
1. Your wife or girlfriend left you because you are an idiot!
2. You probably think a vagina is for you.
4. How much is in your 401 K?
5. I hope your kids don’t take after you-get a vasectomy!
6. Bake your own damn pie!
7. New flash..this great magazine is not written for you!

Don’t mind him..I have (mostly) stopped reading any and all comments by anyone named smartman, or harley, et al. They both offer only the same frat-boy, leering, mother’s basment, toilet humor commentary, regardless of the article subject. smartman in particular thinks himself clever, since all of his comments include either scatalogical, demeaning sexual analogies, or racial put-downs (or both).

Let’s Hear It!Let’s hear it for Mamawipe! Isn’t HE funny? The FDA just approved the use of mamawipe’s picture as an immediate treatment for a 4 hour erection with only one side effect…..the inability to EVER get an erection again. AND Cirilla’s will be introducing a lifesize mamawipe inflatable doll this week. It has lots of hair on both sets of lips!

All these fem-rags do is play on women’s overwhelming insecurity and low self esteem by making you feel guilty about not having perfect tits, cellulite free tan skin, white enough teeth, perfect harmonious emotional balance, granite countertops, clean carpet, yak-yak-yak.

These mags, just like the Bachelor and Bachelorette, set your cause for equality, dignity and self respect back to the Stone Age. That ANYONE short of Larry Flynt can find them EMPOWERING or MOTIVATING is LAUGHABLE.

Don’t feed the troll!!You can never beat a troll. Since nobody will listen to their opinion in the real world, they travel from website to website, commenting on any topic with the sole purpose of disagreeing with whatever has been written. They fill the virtual world with their condescending, ridiculous garbage and pounce when someone attempts to reason with them. This particular troll clearly hates women, and probably himself.

That is, if he’s a real person. Some trolls are planted to write far-fetched, polarizing crap to encourage commenting, web traffic, etc. If that’s the case, well done, troll. You got me to respond. I suppose you think you’re smart?

Oh, and I have perfect tits. Not that you’d know what those look like.

Smartman is dead to meMy husband just read your response…he’s still rolling around on the floor laughing and he is so happy to finally meet the person Brad Paisley wrote about in his song about “looking better on line”. We’d love to meet you, if you ever come out of your mother’s basement. Our relationship is over, Smartman…now have mommy make you another sandwich.
Back to Her Magazine….that is the important topic at hand…I can’t wait for the next issue!

Don’t be an ASS A.S.I don’t think I’m smart. I know I am. 158 on my last IQ test in August. Damn near genius which is 167.

Nothing but smoking hot women in my past and present including two FORD MODELS.

Not really a tit guy. Tits are just attractively packaged fat. I’m more into the part of the body where the ass meets the legs. Pretty vain of YOU to say your tits are “perfect” dontcha think? Pretty subjective tits. You got your Jordan Carver’s, Kate Winslett’s, Katy Perry’s, Tony Botello’s and Suzie the Lemonade Girl from the Verizon ads. Who’s to say what’s PERFECT with tits?

You whale’s can wail on me all you want and I’ll keep pounding ya’ back until you can see how Fem-Rag-Mags do nothing but demean and EXPLOIT you. They’re like a bad case of crabs on your soul crotch.

So let your inner Ann Coulter fight her way out of your Rosie O’Donnell mind body and soul. Free your mind and the rest will follow.

Here’s my take on all this bashing; women aren’t men – they have different interests. Why make fun of that? Trust me, it’s just as easy or easier to make fun of the stupid stuff dudes do. Starting with sports and continuing down the line.

The point of this post is that at long last, somebody has entered the local publishing fray, targeting women, that doesn’t appear to want to dumb everything down. They’re taking a far hipper, more thoughtful approach with real writers, not mindless celebs.

So why not give credit where credit appears due and see how it continues to unfold?

Billy Bragg Was HereI state some verifiable FACTS about my IQ and dating history and I’m BRAGGING? A.S says she has perfect tits and that’s not BRAGGING?

I’d be running my mouth on this issue if it were a MORONIC MEN’S MAGAZINE too. Problem with men’s rags is that there are only two types of ads you can run. More hair and a larger penis. Most heterosexual men don’t care about white teeth, cellulite, back hair, granite counter-tops, deep emotional bonds with friends and fat camp for their kids. It’s pretty tough to “guilt” most men into developing enough of an inferiority complex to make them purchase something that won’t make a damn difference in their lives or relationships

These magazines are fueled by advertising targeted towards women. The majority of the ads are just FLAT OUT STUPID and in my opinion insulting to women. Hell let’s just say you can fool some of the women all of the time and all of the women all of the time.

As for content there is precious little feminine ground that hasn’t already been covered or uncovered in some way shape or form. Kinda like GOLF or GOLF DIGEST continuing to run articles on “fixing your slice”. Despite over a thousand such pieces through the years the slice remains one of golf’s biggest problems. Now Cosmo tells us that the G-Spot may shift around a little as a woman ages. How fucking deep is that?

Her Life, Her Kansas City, The Independent and the ultimate DOUCHE-RAG 435-SOUTH are an embarrassing reflection of the goals, hopes, dreams and aspirations of the whole metropolitan area. Cowtown? Not any more. We’ve gotta climb a few more rungs on the ladder to get back there.

But that’s not the pointI guarantee you haven’t even seen Her KC. As Hearne says ‘The point of this post is that at long last, somebody has entered the local publishing fray, targeting women, that doesn’t appear to want to dumb everything down. ‘ I’m looking at the magazine right now and there are ads for Portfolio Kitchen, Altar Bridal, Birdies, Parisi Cafe, Berg Event Space, Ernie Biggs, The Nelson, Foo’s, Time Warner, Webster House, The Crossroads, Blue Bird Cafe….. Go pick up an issue and tell me if you can find ONE ad in there that is demeaning to us women instead of opening your mouth about something you haven’t even looked into. Who knows, they may change things on us but so far I like what I see. And as far as ‘verifiable FACTS about your IQ and dating history’, how do we know you’re not full of shit, hot stuff? AND you say you’re not a misogynist but you spout of something like ‘you can fool some of the women all of the time and all of the women all of the time’. What a tool.

The O’Really FactorYou’re living proof God is not a woman. Always with the emotion, NEVER with the logic. Now I understand why some guys just throw in the towel and take it up the ass instead of dealing with a Stepford wife like you.

Let’s see what the ads look like in the 5th or 6th issue. My highly reliable sources say that many of the ads in the first issue were trade, freebies or teasers. At some point you gotta justify the ROI. At some point you gotta get paid instead of takin’ trade.

Birdies? That’s a guilt ad for sure. Overpriced underbritches for the bitches. But I guess when you’re totally unattractive you need some “packaging” to add some style to your lack of substance.

If you can’t raise the flag in some .99 panties from Dollar General you’ve got issues.

And enough with the mysogynist crap. When it comes to women I make Alan Alda look like Charlie Sheen.

Time will prove me right. Let’s see if the new rag makes it a year.

Oh yeah, if you’re married and your husband wants out he might be able to use “cruel and unusual punishment” as a way out of getting hosed in the divorce.

more b.s.Yeah, I’m sitting here with my husband and we’re having a nice laugh. It’s pretty apparent that you have some kind issues, with yourself, women, people in general….. I guess you did say that you see a therapist. We thought it was hilarious that you would feel the need to point out your IQ and that you date Ford models. Who cares about your IQ or who you date? Seriously? Like I said, you have no proof of any of this, you just like to talk a big game. You seem to either have a lot of pent up anger towards who knows what or you just like to act like a dick to get people to respond to you. I’m guessing a little bit of both. That’s OK. Like you said, we’ll see what happens with Her KC. Hell, I just like the first issue as do a lot of people it seems like. You’re the one predicting the future for something that you are clueless on. Free ads, trade ads…. Reliable sources? I believe that as much as I believe that you date Ford models. And if you are such a fan of women, why is that what you point out about them? Are they smart or funny or anything that matters? You are so FULL of contradictions.