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Tag: transformation

We’re sorry Tarot Tuesday is a bit late tonight. As would have it, the cards will be read when they’re ready to be read.

Tonight we have a special treat as we’ve injected a little (well 18 months worth) of testosterone into this spread we call the playshop. Please, enjoy this guest post from one of our favorite masculine humanicorns.

Enjoy,

Traci

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18 months of testosterone injections arranged and inspired by the death card in a tarot deck.

The 13th card of the major arcana is the death card. It is a card of transformation and rebirth. Of clearing space and new beginnings. A card holding both masculine and feminine, death asks us to make good use of what is now past, to carry those stories with us.The 12 empty bottles and the one still in use is 18 months of hormone replacement for a trans man. Gathering up the bottles is a sort of meditation. It’s a breath while standing at a precipice, overlooking a future of permanent male passing. What will he do with the experience and understanding from the past? What will he carry with him from his past life into the next?

I often hear stories of families in transition – Parents, in particular talk about grieving the loss of their son or daughter in order to be able to accept their “newly” gendered child. Anything that allows a parent to sit with their child in presence and love, including this sentiment, is something one can find gratitude in, but this has always challenged me. Who we once were will always inform who we are to become. Every moment of every day will die and pass, and each of these moments are threads woven into the fabric of who we are to be.

The death card is a reminder that energy cannot be created or destroyed, that we take with us what seems to be lost. All is not lost. We build our future from the structure of the past. Your structure has been built. The death card clears away what is not to serve you in your current venture. See the space. Weave your tapestry.

Good morning everyone! How was the past week for everyone? Do any Accountability and Boundaries spreads this past week? If you did let us know how they went!

This past week accountability and boundaries were both huge themes for me. In asking for guidance around these queries, I had been pulling a lot of tarot that reminded me to take faith in my core self but also to gently turn my awareness to the fact that change (even though discomforting at times) was needed for transformation. I could choose to dig my heels in or I could choose to sink in. The cards were dealt, but how I chose to play them was always my choice.

As this lesson was sinking, settling, and integrating, a new tarot deck traveled into my life by way of Colorado Springs, CO. It was discovered on a trip that rang true with the harsh lesson that our only agency is often in our reactions and responses. The Phatasmagoric Theater Tarot, which is a bit more predestined in conceptualization than my safe space of The Collective Tarot, was gifted to me at a time when the limits of my individual power under the directorship of life was becoming glaringly clear. I couldn’t control the set, the audience, or the other actors. When I felt like something was going wrong, a line was recited incorrectly, or someone walked the wrong way on the stage I had the choice to attempt to stall the entire production or go with the flow. I could stand mid stage and demand that everyone do it again until they got it (in my opinion) right, that they did it the way we agreed to do it in rehearsal! Alternately, I could be flexible and adjust to my fellow actors. I could be mindful of the scene that was playing out in the present and find the most authentic expression of my character in that singular moment. After all, whether or not it was going the way I wanted it to, the show must go on!

I have to be honest, I wasn’t really ready for a new tarot deck. The Collective Tarot was such a good fit. I didn’t have to translate and it always offered an affirming and positive interpretation. The images were familiar and comforting and the narratives were more spot on than metaphorical. The Collective Tarot was filled with the language of consent so I didn’t have to be super accountable for the way I held my boundaries around how tarot was supposed to function in my life.

On the other hand, The Phatasmagoric Theater Tarot, is, perhaps purposefully, unfamiliar. The images are of the fantastical and somehow dark in their brightness and lightness. While cheery, they also feel to me a bit unsettling. They seem to play in the places near the edge of our consciousness and sanity. The places of dreams. The places where we have less control.

Sitting with the discomforting reflection of Graham Cameron’s art seemed to be just the lesson that my tarot pulls had been trying to teach me as of late. So I’ll turn to them now to see how I should understand this particular production of my current life process. What do I need to be aware of in my short hour of strutting and fretting?

“Mastering skills is only achieved through self-discipline and determination. William is a great abstract painter standing by his most recent canvas. Because of his talent and dedication, William has many admirers knocking on his door.

Divinatory Meaning: The Eight of Coins represents the mastering of skills and becoming a specialist.

Reversed Meaning: Wasting talent, empty ambitions.”

The Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot

In brief candle light,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

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There are photographs in this post that were borrowed lovingly from the internet and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the photographers and websites who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the subject’s or artist’s identity or beliefs. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email compassionaterevolt@gmail.com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

I start off by drowning my morning in coffee and cigarettes, breakfast of champions, I know. I then proceed to deodorize my person and brave LA traffic to the dojo. I put on a thick black canvass karate uniform and make sure I’ve taken out all of my piercing jewelry, so that in the process of teaching a child how to poke someone’s eyes out, their little baby hairs don’t snag on my industrial bar. I put up my slick tuft of hair into a tiny man bun and make sure no red greasy wisps are sticking to the shaved sides of my rowdy head. In this moment I am Cory, confusingly androgynous karate teacher. Add some form of protein and a handful of nuts, and several karate lessons later, I’m de-ninja’ed and back on the road to the dungeon. Upon my arrival I’m greeted by an army of beautiful humans in lingerie. On go the thigh high black stocking, my blunt banged, black bob wig, blush, heels, mascara, faux leather collar, some over-sexualized costume (yes….you can be a sexy clown) and BOOM, I’m Submissive Simone. From Cory to Simone in twenty minutes. That’s one hell of a double shift, huh?

I’ve had several friends ask if it frustrated me that I have to dress in such traditionally feminine attire for work, as an androgynously identifying individual. I always remind them that I’ve been actively gender-bending and doing “femme” to “butch” and back again since I learned that both presentations were options. Fuck. If it’s all socially constructed why would I feel obligated to pick? As a second-grader, I remember being super excited when I misheard the lyrics of the Eve 6 song as, “I want to put my gender, hard in a blender…” What a thrilling concept! Some of us are born to bend, what can I say (that’s when I would throw a fuchsia feather boa over my left shoulder and walk away theatrically, WITHOUT tripping on my heels.) Frankly, I find the transition between gender presentations thrilling and empowering. Nothing thrills me more than gender piracy, except for really amazing haircuts, which is tangential.

So gender conformists, outlaws and benders, for your viewing pleasure, I present you with non-binary artists and celebrities and their cornucopia of gender presentations:

Del La Grace Volcano: Herm/Herm’s

“As a gender variant visual artist I access ‘technologies of gender’ in order to amplify rather than erase the hermaphroditic traces of my body. I name myself. A gender abolitionist. A part time gender terrorist.”

Cory is a poet and novelist in the Los Angeles area. They have worked in mental health, education, social justice and fashion blogging and aims to lead by example by bravely living an examined lifestyle.

“The learning process is something you can incite, literally incite, like a riot.” -Audre Lorde

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There are photographs in this post that were borrowed lovingly from the internet and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the photographers and websites who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the subject’s or artist’s identity or beliefs. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email compassionaterevolt@gmail.com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.