5 Fill-in-the-Blank Forms Obama Could Use Repeatedly

We’re coming up to the six-year mark of Barack Obama’s disastrous presidency, and even though the world is on fire and he is holding the matchbook, the pronouncements coming out of the White House are getting a bit stale. The names change, but the daily news has a vertiginous déjà vu quality that Obama and his staff could deal with far more efficiently if they developed a series of simple templates. Then anytime there was another jihad beheading, or another Palestinian jihad attack, Obama could simply fill in the proper blanks, send his statement to his media sycophants, and go back to his golf game.

This neat and easy solution would also spare Americans the headache of having to see him again on television, mouthing the same tired platitudes and Leftist shibboleths that he uttered the last time. Here are five templates that Valerie Jarrett could start working on right away:

5. “The president decided to play golf during the _____ crisis because _____.”

Last summer, when the jihadists of the Islamic State beheaded journalist James Foley, Obama was criticized for issuing a statement of condemnation and condolence and then returning to his golf game. Obama responded lamely: “Part of this job is also the theater of it. Well, it’s not something that always comes naturally to me. But it matters. And I’m mindful of that. I should have anticipated the optics of playing golf.”

The New York Times did its best to run interference for their callous and cold-hearted hero, explaining rather fancifully that presidents, you see, they’re not like you and me.

Presidents learn to wall off their feelings and compartmentalize their lives. They deal in death one moment and seek mental and physical relief the next. To make coldhearted decisions in the best interest of the country and manage the burdens of perhaps the most stressful job on the planet, current and former White House officials said, a president must guard against becoming consumed by the emotions of the situations they confront. And few presidents have been known more for cool, emotional detachment than Mr. Obama.

It was a valiant attempt. But a more streamlined, preplanned effort is needed. Once the forms are ready, White House insiders can strategize on how best to fill them out: The president went golfing after the latest jihad beheading because grief counselors have advised him that golf is an effective outlet for his grief. Or The president hit the links after the latest Palestinian jihad massacre as an attempt to show the Israelis that life must go on, and they must make new concessions to the Palestinians. Whatever – the mainstream media will repeat it uncritically, and run interference against those who dare to raise any notes of skepticism.