Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity

“Kerry Cohen is eleven years old when she recognizes the power of her body in the leer of a grown man. Her parents are recently divorced and it doesn’t take long before their lassitude and Kerry’s desire to stand out–to be memorable in some way–combine to lead her down a path she knows she shouldn’t take. Kerry wanted attention. She wanted love. But not really understanding what love was, not really knowing how to get it, she reached for sex instead.

Loose Girl is Kerry Cohen’s captivating memoir about her descent into promiscuity and how she gradually found her way toward real intimacy. The story of addiction–not just to sex, but to male attention–Loose Girl is also the story of a young girl who came to believe that boys and men could give her life meaning. It didn’t matter who he was. It was their movement that mattered, their being together. And for a while, that was enough.”

So I have been looking for this book for years. I once saw a friend reading it, but I had issues getting my hands on a copy until now. It was not worth the search. The general reason I wanted to read the book was it sounded like it was actually about a woman who was owning her sexuality and wanted to make a mockery out of the idea of “promiscuity”. It also started very much the same way I discovered my sexuality so I was hooked.

Instead of being a book that was empowering or set out to help people, it felt like a ride of slut shaming propaganda. The end message was that real love doesn’t come from sex and that if someone is interested in you sexually that they don’t really want to be around you. Add in that only “true love” can save you from your issues or at least help you handle your own issues is really damaging. Instead it could have been a message of how someone learned that they are worth more than their just their sexuality and availability.

I just felt let down by this book. I don’t have much else to say. This could have been an amazing book that helped people that felt the same way as the author did growing up. Instead it made me feel even more hopeless.