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I wanna say something here… CHAIN LETTERS ARE BAD!. They are so bad that if you don’t do what they say, something bad is gonna happen to you. Your innards might blow up if you don’t forward it. A meteor might fall on top of your head any second. Your limbs mysteriously fall apart in front of your eyes. Yeah… Likely…

I’ve been penting up anger because of these fucking abomination to mankind. It’s not the fact that it fills your inbox with complete abandon, oh no. It’s not like it just wasted your time opening something that takes forever to load, nosirreee. It’s the fact that people find it funny enough that you have to share it with me that that they think their perception and interpretation of the term “funny/comedy” is on par with mine.

My perception or interpretation of ‘funny’ is not on trial here. The one on trial is you damn chain letter people. If you find something funny, put it on your damn site. That way, people who want to be humored can go to your site to find the funny stuff, not to be stuffed in my inbox, sometimes amounting to 300k of useless shit in an inbox that’s waiting for confirmation e-mails, forum e-mails and certified newsletters.

But in the extremely unlikely case that you find a joke that I might like, please, please, please, let it be hilarious. If not I’ll find the most grossest stuff that you can never imagine and put it in your fucking inbox. Funny kan? And when you do send me these ‘funny’ stuff, please, please, please, remove all the forwarding addresses in them. Fucking please.

I don’t know if you are currently reading this Midge, but you are the main culprit. Sorry luv, but it’s true. The second biggest offender, is Fadhlil. Let’s all e-mail fadhlil_1512@hotmail.com with the grossest stuff you can find. And I will thank you from the bottom of my black heart.

Now for a dissemination of an offendin letter that Fadhlil sent to me, just in case he’s too thick to question the motives of the first person who wrote this shit.

And oh by the way, these are the e-mails of the offenders. Spammers and spam bots, do your worst…

[POST REDACTED]

Do I fucking care if these e-mails get shown up here aren’t the ones that spammed me? NO!!!!!! It’s the fault of the people who happen to be part of this chain letter. So if your e-mail gets shown up here, balme the people who e-mailed you.

Now on to the most recent chain letter I got.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I knowwhere my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?[StupidLogic : “Fuck it’s just to get your attention, to get you to look at your watch. Moron. You know, people will immediately look at their wrist if someone points to their own wrist.”]

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.[StupidLogic : “I look for the remote so I don’t have to fucking get up anymore after I find it, moron!”]

3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn right! What good is a cake if you can’t eat it?[StupidLogic : “Let me guess, you’re not that good in English are you? Sleep again lah when the teacher teaches you about idioms or whatever they call it.”]

4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people dothis? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass![StupidLogic : ” ‘Why the fuck would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!’ God, your snappy comments doesn’t have anything to do with the saying, ‘It’s always the last place you look’! I’ll kick your fucking ass! “]

5. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor. [StupidLogic : “Ditto”]

6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”…. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?[StupidLogic : “I’m being polite, you hick.”]

7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.[StupidLogic : “It’s NEW and it’s IMPROVED! Both things are plausible. Idiot.”]

8. When people say “life is short”. What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that’s longer?[StupidLogic : “Was I talking in terms of incarceration? NO!“]

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?[StupidLogic : “Excuse me, do you go on the same bus as mine? Moron.”]

SEND TO EVERYONE YOU CAN OR ELSE!!!!!!!!

1. ONE PERSON BAD LUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE2. 5 PEOPLE GOOD LUCK FOR A MONTH3. 10 PEOPLE GOOD LUCK FOR HALF OF A YEAR4. OVER 30 PEOPLE GOOD LUCK FOR A LIFETIME

[StupidLogic : “Or ELSE WHAT?! Fuck you if you believe in this shit, you’re the one out of luck for the rest of your life. Moron.”]

THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A COP…1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)[StupidLogic : “Oooohhhh… Funny…”]

9. Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too![StupidLogic : “Funny…”]

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.[StupidLogic : “You are dumb for not knowing why you are stopped. That or you’re drunk or high on crack.”]

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.[StupidLogic : “Stop it… ha ha ha… You’re killing me…”]

12. When the Officer says “Gee Son….Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with,”Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”[StupidLogic : “Would you rather put the pedal to the metal and yell “PIG!” on top of your lungs?”]

*** Forward this to at least 11 people and see what comes on your screen, you will laugh your head off!!!!!!! This works. I don’t know how… [StupidLogic : “I feel my IQ just got reduced to 179 by reading this shit…”]