The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, my coffee tastes like rainbows, Home Depot has closed for the day and that’s because there are new pictures of the ginger gayelle goddess known as ROJO CALIENTE! If the Internet suddenly crashes forever, that’s okay, because I have my Rojo fix. I want to put on a pair of oversized pleated Dockers, slip into some Birkenstocks, drape a flannel shirt over my chest and then lay down next to these pictures for the rest of the afternoon.

I was praying to the lesbian gods above for some kind of Rojo sighting soon, because Christmas is coming and I’m in dire need of the perfect card. My head will fit perfectly on Cynthia Caliente’s body. I thank her for wearing strapless, because my shoulders are my best feature. Although, I wish Cynthia would have helped me out by putting a green screen over her head. Oh well, she can remember that for the future.

The reclusive gayelle beauty made a rare appearance at HBO’s Emmy party last night with her less-glamorous half. Rojo looked stunning in a suit from Big and Tall’s exclusive black label.

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