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“Oh no, it’s not that kind of fraternity.” But my mother is still unconvinced. I’ve explained in mind-numbing detail the rush process, pledging, initiation (“it’s all Greek to me” she quips) as a haze of unease continues to settle between us....

But my mother is still unconvinced. I’ve explained in mind-numbing detail the rush process, pledging, initiation (“it’s all Greek to me” she quips) as a haze of unease continues to settle between us.

“Just…make sure it’s something you want to be a part of.”

Of course it is. How else can I explain the importance of Pi Lambda Phi in my life? A fraternity whose motto is literally the “elimination of prejudice.” An organization who has found their niche at the University of Florida by opening their arms to men of all races, religions and sexualities.

So no, we are most certainly not that fraternity. Which begs the question: who is?

One minute, they’re gallivanting to their Founder’s Day celebration and the next day, they're facing death threats and eviction just days after a video was posted online showing members chanting racist remarks.

The clip is just nine seconds long, and manages to contain wildly offensive racial slurs, overt narcissism and references to lynching.

But none of that is what I find most troubling about the video. The truly insidious nature of the clip is that the chorus sounds so familiar to these men. Tear down the insulting language, and what you really have is a group of people saying, you don’t belong and you will never belong.

Now, to be clear, the fraternities of today are not the Animal Houses of your father’s generation. Gone are the days where university heads will glance at these fraternal antics, shrug and explain away “boys will be boys.” Zero-tolerance hazing policy is the status quo.

However, the elitist attitudes have struggled to die, and there’s a few reason why that’s the case.

1. They are expensive

Yes, those almost cartoonishly large mansions did not pay for themselves. Fees can easily skyrocket into the thousands when you consider meals, housing, social expenses, among other costs. So it’s not exactly rocket science to see that Mom and Dad have to have a pretty full bank account to let Junior go Greek.

Now consider this: according to a Pew study, in 2013 white households were on average, thirteen times wealthier than black households. And they were ten times wealthier than Hispanic households.

And so, along with fraternities splitting their base along socio-economic lines, there is also the uncomfortable separation amongst races that comes along with it.

2. They were created to be secretive

Fraternities as we know them today really began after the Civil War in the late 1800s, and they were designed to promote honor, scholastic interests, and gentlemanly behavior, all under the guise of secrecy.

Today we have secret handshakes, secret chants, secret rituals…all things that might cause an outsider to pause and deem “cult-like.”

But for us, these traditions have meaning, and serve as a connection to generations of people before us. They’re fun, and they’re powerful forms of cohesion. But it’s still something your best friends outside the pact can’t know about.

3. They exclude women

Uh…obviously?

Of course, there aren’t women in fraternities, that’s what sororities are for, you say (with respectful recognition toward co-ed honor societies and service fraternities). But what comes out of this divide is an interesting discrepancy. When socials happen, one gender grouping must go to the residence of the other.

And since the decision made by the 26 sororities in the National Panhellenic Council to ban alcohol in chapter residencies, most of the in-house parties are held in fraternity houses.

Which means essentially in many cases where alcohol is involved, the women must come to the men. This sets up a bit of an odd precedent if you think about it: men can dominate the social arena because you can’t very well kick someone out of their own home.

How fraternities are opening their doors

So what does this all mean? Is the fraternity system as we know it today simply too outdated for 21st century inclusivity?

I don’t think so, but I also recognize the need for change. One way I’ve seen my own fraternity open up is by offering merit-based scholarships, so fees become a lower barrier.

And not all fraternities pride themselves on secrecy: the Delta Upsilon fraternity was built on a foundation of a “secret-less organization,” where many rituals are open to the public.

To be sure, I’m proud of being in a fraternity, just as I’m proud of standing for values of diversity and inclusion. Let’s hope more fraternities take these values to heart.

Adam Gerstenfeld is a student at the University of Florida and a spring 2015 USA TODAY Collegiate Correspondent.

This story originally appeared on the USA TODAY College blog, a news source produced for college students by student journalists. The blog closed in September of 2017.