Buff Butler Blog

Should You Have a STEN Party and How Does it Work?

A growing number of couples are opting for something a little different to the traditional stag and hen do. Known as a STEN party, it is a joint stag and hen do that combines time together and time apart over a weekend for a truly modern pre-wedding party.

Why have a STEN party?

The fact is, many couples live together before they get married and spend a longertime as a couple before the big day. This means the whole ‘last night of freedom’ is somewhat outdated. Single life is far behind them, they are simply moving to a new part of their relationship. That’s why a STEN do can be an ideal option – spending time with friends, together and also doing some stuff apart.Another reason is pretty practical. With busy lives, most couples will have shared hobbies or interests so a hen party and a stag do could end up doing the same things. So combining them makes for more fun and also can reduce costs a bit. Many couples also have a large group of mutual friends and this means everyone gets to go out together.

Planning a STEN party

There are two main approaches to the STEN party. One is to have the whole time together and do activities, visit locations or even all go to for a meal together. The other is to have some of the weekendswith each other and someapart.For example, maybe you all go on an outdoor adventure trip during the day if you are all outdoor fans. A shared activity shared with friends. Then on a night, maybe the ladies want to have a buff butler serving them cocktails while they relax at home while the guys want to go to the local casino. Then the second night, everyone could go for a meal at a favourite restaurant or rent a venue for a proper party.

Dos and don’ts

If you are thinking about having a joint hen and stag do, there are a few dos and don’ts to consider before committing.

Do

Do it for the right reasons and not that you don’t trust your spouse-to-be – STEN parties are to celebrate, not to keep an eye on someone

Do make sure you are both on board with the idea

Do plan it comprehensively and make sure you consider all of your friends and family who will be attending

Do think about people like the maid of honour or best man – will they upset that they can’t plan the party? Or can you involve them?

Don’t

Don’t dive straight into the idea of a STEN party and consider the benefits of traditional separate events first

Don’t have an unfair balance in numbers so one half of the party massively outnumbers the other as this can make for an uncomfortable night

Don’t ignore group dynamics – if a few friends have split with a partnerbut you each want both to be there, a separate do might bethe best bet

A STEN party isn’t for everyone but for some couples, it is a great way to celebrate their change of status in a modern and fun way.