Sunday, April 08, 2018

This blog, as loyal frustrated readers can painfully attest, is nothing if not an acolyte for 1996 box office champion “Independence Day.” As such, most any Roland Emmerich release is met with unrepentant gaiety, and is why last year’s “Geostorm”, written and directed by Emmerich’s ID4 cohort Dean Devlin, was must see for this blog too. It was not must see for everyone. It finished 75th in box office rankings and seemed to vanish from theaters right quick. The brevity of “Geostorm’s” theatrical run was made even more disappointing because it coincided with the equally swift run of “The Mountain Between Us”, which finished six places below “Geostorm” in the box office stakes, which I also wanted to see on account of Kate Winslet, of whom I am no longer a completist, and may never be again, but to whom I still feel a sense of loyalty. I figured, “Geostorm” and “The Mountain Between Us” would make a stellar — that is to say, intentionally terrible — double feature.

Each movie’s appearance on the big screen, however, coincided with my October trip to Paris where, for some mystifying reason, my beautiful, perspicacious girlfriend did not want to take time out from art-seeing and cheese-eating and café-sitting and all-around joyous life-living to see subtitled screenings of “The Mountain Between Us” and “Geostorm.” (Reader: “That’s why she’s perspicacious!”) But at long last, nearly five months later, the fates conspired to grant me an afternoon in which I had the opportunity for a home base double feature. I mention all this not just in case you were wondering why over the next two days you see back-to-back reviews of “The Mountain Between Us” and “Geostorm”, with a special Wednesday “Geostorm”-inspired kicker, but because this stellar — intentionally terrible — double feature is something to celebrate!

So while the masses prattle over recent releases, this blog will turn the clock aaaaaaaaaaall the way back to late 2017 for a couple movies you had already forgotten and wish you still forgot if not for our bringing it up. Join us, won’t you? (Or don’t.)