A few years ago, I dreaded the idea of approaching my thirties. Not because I have any ageist hang-ups about growing old , but because I was sure that me and my best friend would be the last women standing as everyone else rushed to get married. As I am approaching my thirties (two more years left!), I am happily observing that more and more women are choosing to either delay getting married or remain happily unmarried. But, society is not yet okay with women choosing to live their lives on their own terms and there lies most of our problems.

You see, society sees a woman making the same choices men have been making for centuries, and they are all like, "Woah! Just hold on right there! You're a woman, you can't do that!" According to contemporary mainstream Bollywood movies , women who drink, smoke, have casual sex, remain unmarried, or marry late are liberated badasses. However, if you ask society what they think of such women, chances are that the vast majority would deem these women as characterless, choritroheen as Bengalis would say.

But, here's the thing, these things are not exactly markers of a rebel heart, these are but mere choices people make. Some choose to drink to have a good time, some choose to drown in their whiskey sours when they are sad, and some choose to become human chimneys to deal with the stress of their daily lives. Some choose to indulge in casual sex-capades, some are born asexual or choose to abstain. Some choose to get married as soon as our laws will allow, some dread the idea, and some reconcile and eventually get hitched later than is the norm. But (and this is a giant but), anybody belonging to any gender, class, or caste can make these choices independently as adults tend to do. At least, they should be allowed to do so without the fear of judgement and persecution.

While drinking and smoking still seem insignificant compared to a decision like marriage, they are still choices that depend on the individual and cannot and should not be coerced. You will be a shit friend if you forced someone who doesn't drink to get sloshed or smoke when they are allergic to it, right? Then why is it okay to put pressure on someone who doesn't want to get married right now or ever? If anything, it is more messed up. So, the next time you have the urge to chastise a woman for her choices, don't.