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Monday, October 29, 2012

Where Are All the Other Tiggers? Adoption Issues in Disney's The Tigger Movie

"The wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber. Their bottoms are made out of springs! They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is... I'm the only one!"

Is the tune stuck in your head? I can hear Tigger's voice as I type this. If it's not stuck in your head yet, you can always listen to the Tigger anthem on Youtube! But as happy as the song sounds, and as unfailingly happy as Tigger seems to be, he's struggling with some questions. Why is he the only one? Where are the other Tiggers? In this short, fun, 2000 Disney film, Tigger sets out to find out.

The Plot (spoilers
ahead)

Tigger, a tiger, wants to bounce around. He asks his friends
to join him, but they all decline, saying that they are preoccupied. They
eventually admit that Tigger bounces because he is good at it, “unlike us.”
Pooh adds, “We’re not Tiggers.”

Tigger sadly walks away. Roo, a young kangaroo, tries to
cheer Tigger up by suggesting that Tigger do something he enjoys. Tigger scoffs
at the idea. Roo then suggests that Tigger should seek out other Tiggers,
saying “I’ve got a momma. Don’t you have a family somewhere, too?” Tigger is
inspired by this idea, and begins hunting for his family. He searches through
the woods, but does not find them and decides instead to write a letter.
Tigger’s friends receive the letter by chance, and write a letter that purports
to be from his family. Upon receiving the letter, Tigger becomes convinced that
his family will visit him personally. His friends visit his home, dressed as
Tiggers, but Tigger soon realizes that they are not actually Tiggers. He walks away
offended into a blizzard to seek out his family.

Tigger’s friends go out into the blizzard to find him, and
he eventually realizes that his friends are his family. The movie ends when
Tigger proclaims Roo to be his little brother and poses for a family portrait
with the rest of his friends.

The Adoption
Connection

The adoption issues of loss and identity are prevalent in The Tigger Movie. Tigger has often sung
that the “most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I’m the only one.” Now he
realizes a sadder side of being “the only one.” Owl suggests that Tigger can
find his family by first finding his family tree. Tigger shows a range of,
fantasies, expectations, and fears when he starts pursuing his family. He
expects his family tree to be a literal tree. He dreams about being surrounded
by people (well, tigers) who look and act like him. He expects that his family
will show up unannounced, and when they do not come, Tigger worries that they
have been caught in a dangerous storm.
Tigger never finds other Tiggers. Thankfully, he does not renounce his
efforts to find other Tiggers, but he does accept his friends as his family.

Adoptees also may have similar fantasies, fears, worries,
and hopes about their birth families, and can be disappointed when their expectations
do not flesh out.

A heart-shaped locket is prominent in the movie. Tigger
finds it, imagines that he’s had it his whole life, expects that it will have a
photograph of his family, and then is heartbroken to realize that it is empty.
At one point, he expresses his sad belief that the locket (and his knowledge of
his family) will “stay empty forever.” Adoptees may feel that their hearts will
“stay empty forever,” or that they do not deserve love. Later, Tigger puts a
photograph of his friends in the locket and entrusts the locket to Roo.

Strong Points

Tigger
has good friends. They were misguided and overzealous in their efforts to help
him feel better, but they do love him, and several of them helped him in his
search for family before deciding to deceive him. They do not try to correct him when he
expresses his honest feelings of loneliness.

Roo
is very supportive of Tigger and looks up to Tigger as a brother. Roo shares a
wonderful conversation with his mother, Kanga. Roo explains that he wishes Tigger
was part of his family. Kanga responds, “He already is and always will be.” Roo
then honestly expresses, “I still wish I could do something to make him feel
better.” There’s quite a bit of good in this conversation: Kanga already views
Tigger as family. Roo accepts this as well, but also shows his understanding
that this does not yet make Tigger feel better. Friends and family of adoptees
can model Kanga and Roo – offer unconditional love, acceptance, and inclusion
to the adoptee in your life, but do not expect that your offerings will
immediately or completely fill the void they are feeling. Instead, giving them permission to grieve and
to search shows your love to be more selfless, your acceptance to be more
thorough, and your inclusion to be more trustworthy.

A Challenge

Tigger’s
friends start by trying to help him find his family, but eventually change
their goal to helping him feel better. Finally, Tigger accepts his friends as
his family, but the question of where the other Tiggers are (or whether there
are other Tiggers) is left unresolved. For some adoptees, this will mirror
their experience: answers are not always available. For them, Tigger’s story
may normalize their experience, and may even be comforting. For other adoptees,
answers may be available, and it would be a mistake to deny them access to
their birth family just because they also have a “new” family.

Tigger’s
friends were generally supportive of his desire to find his family. No one
expressed feeling threatened. Rabbit thought the search was unnecessary.
Adoptees interested in finding their birth family member may experience a range
of responses from the people in their life; some adoptive family members may
feel rejected at the thought of the adoptee seeking out the birth family, some
might be afraid, some might not see the point, some might be accepting, some
might be encouraging. In general, Tigger’s friends did very well by supporting
him, even though the quest didn’t turn out as Tigger had expected. Imagine,
though, if one or two of Tigger’s friends had said “Well, Tigger, you already
have us, and so it’s offensive that you’re seeking out other Tiggers.” That
friend would be off-base, and would be putting his needs in front of Tigger’s.

Weak Points

Rabbit
has a few negative moments; he expresses his displeasure about Tigger seeking
for his family by saying that one Tigger is enough. Later, in a moment of
exasperation, he advises Tigger to “stop this ‘other Tigger’ nonsense.”

Tigger’s
friends mean well when they try to trick him into believing that he has contact
with his birth family. Tigger finds hope in the letter that he believes is from
his family, and begins preparing for a visit. Instead of admitting the truth,
we learn that none of Tigger’s friends have “had the heart” to tell him, and
instead their deception goes deeper. Tigger is very hurt when he realizes that
they have lied, and misunderstands their intention as being an insensitive
joke. Sometimes, in an effort to make
people feel better, we want to promise them good things, but some promises are
not within our power to fulfill. It’s important to be supportive of adoptees,
but also to not offer them false hope. For example, Tigger’s friends could have
helped him continue searching, and could have encouraged him in that search
while also including him in other aspects of their lives. This would have
honored his feelings and strengthened his friendship with them. By falsely
(although unintentionally) suggesting that Tigger would have contact with his
family, they set him up for harsh disappointment.

Some Recommendations

This
song-filled, animated movie features familiar Disney characters: Winnie the
Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, Kanga, Roo, Owl, Eeyore, Rabbit, and Christopher Robin.
It will most likely appeal to younger children, perhaps up to age ten. However,
the theme of longing for a relationship with birth family members is relevant
to older children as well. Older children might be convinced to watch The Tigger Movie as part of a family
night, and would likely benefit from it.

Parents
and friends of adoptees watching the movie can consider how Tigger is feeling,
and can place themselves in the roles of the other characters in the film: can
they see themselves being loving like Kanga, supportive like Roo, well-meaning
but misguided like Owl and Pooh, or cranky about the search, like Rabbit?

Questions for Discussion After the Movie

èFor Kids:

oTigger imagined a lot about what other Tiggers
would be like. What do you imagine your birth family is like?

oWhen Tigger is walking away after the party, how
do you think he feels? Why does he feel that way? How do you think his friends
feel? Why?

oWhat
could Tigger’s friends have done to help him feel better instead of
worse?

oEven when Tigger felt alone, Roo wanted to be
his friend. Who are your good friends?

èFor Parents:

oOwl suggests that Tigger should find his family
tree. This is good advice. Grade school (or High School) projects which require
students to draw up a family tree or to trace genetic traits through their
family can be particularly challenging for adoptees. Now is a great time to
start researching and drawing out the tree. Help your adoptee create as
detailed of a family tree as you can, incorporating birth family information
and adoptive family information. Perhaps this will be your first venture into
your own family tree; it could be
exciting (and bonding) for your adoptee to go on the venture with you. It’s
possible that not much information will be available, but find what you can.
The goal is not perfection. Talk with social workers, available birth family
members, and former foster parents to gather information. If specific names are
not available, perhaps you can research cultures, nationalities, or home states
of different family members.

oPiglet asks Pooh, “Was looking for a family for
Tigger something we were supposed to do?” Pooh responds, “I think it must be… I
quite often remember to forget these sorts of things.” Do you find yourself
wanting to “remember to forget” conversations about your child’s birth family?
If so; why?

8 comments:

The emotions that Tigger is portrayed as experiencing certainly match the emotions that I experienced as I began to "wake up" in my adoption perception, noticing a longing and a profound "aloneness" that I hadn't previously been conscious of. The movie was on my mind today so I went searching for information about it. I am stunned to discover that it was made in 2000. I could have sworn I saw it much earlier than that.

Thanks so much for your comment - I wonder if the ending of the movie is satisfactory - Tigger accepts his friends as family, but never does get an answer about the other Tiggers. Glad you found this post!

Addison, Thanks for such a wonderful "reading" of the Tigger movie. It's all there, the adoption loss, wanting to find one's family, having to find acceptance with what one already has. Thanks for pointing this movie out!Laura

This is one of my favorite kid movies and I've always felt it strongly portrays adoption themes. The icing on the cake is the video afterwards of my favorite singer -- Kenny Loggins -- theme song for the movie. Great review!

Hi Lynn! Thanks for your kind words. I was so surprised to see how relevant this movie was, and it is probably one of my top 3 recommendations at this point. It's got everything - questions about fitting in, wondering about absent family, the consequences of dishonest friends, and a redemptive ending showing forgiveness and acceptance. And, I guess if you like it, a Kenny Loggins song :)