South Carolina Is Giving Body Cameras to Shellfish Monitors

The world is your oyster. By which I mean it’s under intense surveillance at all times even though that’s a giant waste of energy, money, and humanity.

According to the Associated Press, a portion of South of Carolina’s newly flush body camera budget will be distributed to officers who monitor oyster health and shellfish harvesting.

When you take into consideration that the $5.8 million budget was established in response to the fatal shooting of Walter Scott by Charleston police officer Michael Slager in April 2015, spending thousands of those dollars on oyster security looks like an offensive misuse of funds.

But not according to local council member Senator Greg Hembree, who told the AP that it only “seems funny” to put cameras on shellfish harvesters.

Haha.

“But if you go out and mess with somebody’s crab pots,” Hembree continued, “you might be surprised at the level of violence you can encounter.”

Vigilance is key, according to Hembree, “We have a long way to go. I’m ready, willing and eager to put more money in the budget.”

No word yet on whether this important footage of somebody’s crab pots will be a matter of public record.