My computer pinged with new messages from Youtube, but I couldn’t answer.
There was footage on my TV of meteor showers and fires randomly landing on the other side of the world. I’m about to message Youtube about it when guess who answers my message?

[Ficwad.com (FW) messaged Fanfiction.net (FFN)!]

FW: hey sorry about not messaging you.FW: all kinds of busy.FFN: FICWAD OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?!FW: yeah. don’t need you as a server playa though.FW: got PM on it.FFN: You’re still in your treehouse right?FFN: The jungle one?FW: yeah.FFN: Aren’t there meteors landing the freak everywhere?FW: yeeeeah. my bad.FFN: Your bad? WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?FW: the game is ending my side of the planet.FW: you guys should play too.FW: or else we’ll all die.FW: listen, i gotta go.FW: there’s a bigass meteor headed right for my house.FW: gotta get to the gate. get outta here.FW: Laterz. get playing.FW: :)

I start to tap out a reply, something along the lines of, 'WHAT EVEN ARE YOU DEAD OH MY GOSH!'
when a wave of static runs over my screen. "No! NO! NO NO NO NO!" I scream, smacking the side of it with my hand. Typical! Dies just when I need it!
I slam the lid of my laptop closed and start pacing. My sister's probably gone by this point, and she's not going to be pleased when she finds out I'm officially a world-ending antichrist or something. Frick! I am doomed! So doomed! AHH! What do I do? What can I do?! Oh, God, I've killed everything, I've killed everyone with that stupid game! Dumb! Dumb Dumb Dumb!
Okay. Okay, Fanfiction. No panicking. Panicking gets you killed. Stay in control. Losing control means loss means instant death.

I need a copy of the game, post-haste. Youtube probably server player me or something. I just need to run the game and chase after Ficwad, then click save and exit and bring her back with my sister nonethewiser, right? Easy peasy.
First step, server player. Heck, might even read the rules too. One step at a time.

_________________________________________________________________

Okay, like THAT made any sense.

(Knew it wouldn't. Told you so.)

Did you say something?

NOPE!

Show me the non-crazy girl. The Birthday one!

C'mon, dude. I'm sick.

Fanfiction.net dies at sea with a sword in his thigh. Youtube dies from an assassination. Should I continue or will you just tell me what happens?

____________________________________________________

It was well past noon by the time I woke up. Sunlight was streaming in through the widowns.
Windowns. WIN. DOWS. Fuck! Goddammit. It's not a speech impediment, okay?
I disentangle the mosquito netting around my bed and try to decide on something to wear. Most of my stuff is My Chemical Romance, because they are simply the best band EVAR and if you don't like that, then I don't like you. They stop Homophobia and hate and cutting, which is awesome. And I am awesome, and their biggest fan. So it totally fits!
I, Ficwad, have devoted my life to following their band. Who wouldn't honestly?

Ugh. My hair's gone mega-curly from the humidity, and I can hardly see the dye in it anymore. My hair's this really gross brown stuff, like my cousin Fanfiction's, but mine's nasty medusa-curly snarly. I've also dyed mine, so it's red/green/yellow/orange/blue/pink! Awesome! Like me!

It's my fourteenth birthday today, and I've already gotten a few messages from Pottermore and my cousin the tramp who ships everyone with everyone. Slut.

[Pottermore (PM) sent Ficwad (FW) a message!]

PM: Hey!PM: Talked your cousin into sending you that game thing. Dunno why ya wants it so bad. Sounds shite, like.PM: But all the same, Happy Birthday, Pidgeon!

I scroll through my cousin's rambling and click on the link he sent me. I've heard online that Homestuck is simply the most awesome thing to hit the internet since the Sims or MCR, so I have to have it! I'm awesome! It's awesome! So duh!
I tap my fingers on my desk, then remember I've still got a lot of shit to do. Fuck.
Leaving the game to load, I wander away from my computer to get some shit done before the game loads, hopefully.