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Monday, January 12, 2009

The little girl who visits from time to time

The little girl from years ago often cries out in the dead of night to be heard.Her tears so very much real. The pain of not having a father who loved her as only a father can do. The fear and sleepless nights that this little girl survived. The many times she had to run away from the very person who was supposed to protect her.

The reality that all hope is gone for this little girl to ever believe that maybe he would change his mind.

The hope..The one thing the little girl always believed in.

Maybe one day he would come to her door and tell her how very proud he was of her.He would tell her how he wanted things to be different .How he wanted her to be his little girl after all.But sometimes happy endings don't happen. Sometimes your hope dies and your left to wonder.

Sometime the voices in my memories are not all good.Sometimes it's the voices of those years that are so deafening.The words of insult. The words that cut so deep that you cry yourselfto sleep. The words that no little girl should hear from a father.

Those voices don't last long now. I have a family that drowns out that voice.I have a heavenly Father that yells over that voice.....Yells over the voice of my earthly father....... The Lord reminds me time and and time again that I'm His.

Sometimes I walk my way back down memory lane and cry for that little girl.I cry for her loss.I cry for her having to run and I cry for having to endure so much.I long to tell her that everything will work out ok.I long to let her know that God has a huge plan and this will make her strong and she will understand years from now..but in reality I think she knew..I think that's what kept her going.

The little girl comes to my dreams from time to time and the memories are just a blur but shefinally understands that the Lord has healed her. He has made her whole......by just One Touch...He has given her a life that she could only imagine.He has given her an incredible husband who happens to be the best father in the world.He has given her Hope in Him......

The wounds have healed and the hurt pops up from time to time but I'm thankful for the pastand I'm thankful for how the Lord used it to grow me and to show me how much I need HIM.

Lyrics:

Been ostracized for 12 yearsI’m used to being aloneSpent everything I hadAnd now it’s goneI’m used to being put downMy issues tell it allMy only hope is anchoredIn this fall

ChorusIf I could just touch the hem of His garmentI know I’d be made wholeIf I could just press my way thru this madnessHis love would heal my soulIf only one touch

So many people callingHow could He ever knowThat just a brush of HimWould stop the flowIf he knew would He rebuke meOr shame me to the crowdWell I’m desperate ‘cause it’s never or it’s now

Chorus

Suddenly He turned aroundHe said somebody has unleashed my powerWell, Frightened and embarrassed I bowedYou see I told Him of my troublesAnd how…

I had to touch the Hem of His garmentAnd I know I’ve been made wholeAnd how I had pressed my way thru the madnessAnd His love has healed my soul

Then with one word He touched the hem of my garmentAnd you know I’ve been made wholeAnd somehow He pressed His way thru my madnessAnd His love has healed my soul

I tell you He touched meHe reached way down and touched meWhen no one else would touch meJesus, shol’ ‘nough He touched me…And I know I’ve been made whole

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"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."