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Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Should I Quit or Wait for Him?

Good morning Aunty Amara, thanks so much for your advice to relationships, please I need your advice.

I have been dating this guy since 2015, we work in same office and he has been talking about marriage, but everything has stopped because he lost his dad this year July, and he's yet to be buried.

We have to suspend the introduction till after his dad burial, but when he traveled home, he told his mom about me and he said the mom was not in support of the relationship because he has taken a girl to the mother before.

So she was insisting on him marrying that girl but he told me he has explained how bad the girl has been treating him to her but she is still insisting on that girl.

He told me not to worry that he knows how to convince his mom. I traveled last month to visit my mom and one of my mom's friend saw me and told my mom that they should do match-making between me and her son but my mom quickly objected to that. She said she will never be a party to choosing partners for her children.

Yesterday night, I told him what happened when I traveled, he got upset and told me that if I feel he is wasting my time that I should please move on with my life.

His dad's burial is next month, he said he wants to tell all his family members about our marriage plan and how his mom has refused that it's must be that lady.

He said he will table it during the family meeting after his dad's burial. I love this man so much but with the statement he made he has hurt me so bad, he said whatever decision his family takes he will stand by it but that he will try and plead with them.

Please aunty help me, am confused. Should I leave the relationship or wait till after the burial, I don't know what to do.

Must you share every little thing with him? Or were you expecting him to hug and kiss you after you told him what happened at home?

First, the information was unnecessary, secondly the timing was awful, so I don't know what you were thinking when you told him that.

As much as you love a man and he loves you, as much as you hope to end up with him, as much as you desire a lifetime with him, until he's married to you, anything is possible.

I won't encourage you to cheat on your partner, but please don't build your trust on a man, or be arrogant to any other advance because you never can tell what may happen in your relationship.

As it is, you need to give him some time to bury his father, then let his family know his intentions. Whatever be his conclusion, please stick with it and accept it in good fate.

Don't go sentimental about whether he will marry you or not, it is his choice to make, and try your best not to influence it with your emotions.

If he doesn't choose you, please move on, but if he does, then plan your marriage with him.

I feel that you are the one who made him feel like he was wasting your time by telling him about what happened, however, you should hope for the best, and prepare yourself for the worst.