Posted by moreron on 11/30/2013 1:33:00 PM (view original):47 percent of the coaches on this thread will keep playing GD no matter what. They are dependent upon GD and believe they are victims. They believe that a working 3.0 is an entitlement. All Oriole needs to fix this thing is full folders of women.

Oriole: I know what you're thinking, Hazelwood. You're thinking "did he program six talent buckets or only five?" Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a WIS Product, the most powerful remaining vestige of jconte in the world and will never work right despite my best attempts, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, Hazelwood?

Good time to bring up this thread, which had limericks starting on page 7 that were quite brilliant. It will have to take a back seat as far as my favorite thread goes now that this one exists however.

{voice from communicator} If you want to talk to hot, sexy women {2chair frantically slaps communicator to shut voice off}

snake_p: Like I said. Look, BHaz would never have risked contamination and death from the GD3 virus without leaving his life essence safe within somebody. Have you noticed any odd behavior among your crew?

2chair: Define "odd."

snake_p: {sighing}: You spoke to BHaz last, Did he touch you and say "remember"?

snake_p: ENOUGH! I've seen better acting in a first grade play! You said BHaz isolated a living virus onto a memory stick. He must have preserved his spirit there! BHaz would have found a way!! Where's the memory stick?

polabones: 2chair! Arfy would have taken it! They store all their *not* - well, never mind about that. Call Arfy!

{2chair slaps communicator}: Arfy!

Arfy {over communicator} Oh for the love of St. Andrew ye blabbering baboon! Ye said ye'd not call us for three days! I cannae promise there won't be a mutiny, ye dafty bampot.

Jc1796/nurse chapel: DAMMIT! I'm a man!! You want to come after me for dressing like a nurse in a Skinemax late night special, come after me! Write something about me! I'm a man!!! I can take it! DAMMIT! I'm a man!!!

snake_p: The decision to cast jc1796 as Nurse Chapel was most - illogical {turns to mojolad} Where is the memory stick BHaz was using?

polabones: 2chair! No! You can't do that! This isn't a Siberian gulag!

harriswb30: hey! I grew up in Siberian Gulag. Not so bad once you get used to East German Kartoffel Krap wodka.

2chair: mojolad! Talk! Or - I will paralyze you, place headphones on your head, and.... make you listen to Barry Manilow music!

polabones: 2chair! No! Who do you think you are? Joseph Stalin?

harriswb30: Stalin never did that! Perhaps he should have.

mojolad: OK! I will talk! I...was going to download some uh - not porn into it. But...

snake_p: You deleted my son's living spirit because you wanted to download -

mojolad: No! No! No! It didn't work.

snake_p: Did you see any sign of BHaz on there????

mojolad: uuuhhhhhh, oh, yeah! There was like this, like, weird 3D thing that looked like BHaz that said something about not shooting his corpse into space and that he could easily be restored if we did something or other. I mean, it was no big deal.

snake_p: you are going to spend the rest of your short, pitiful life getting rectal exams from angry Klingons - after you tell me what you haven't told me.

mojolad: uuuhhh, well, there was something about the only thing that could go wrong is if mojolad saw this. "He's dumber than a bag of moon rocks," was BHaz's quote. Something like that.

Arfy: We've been tryin' to tell ye that Captain -

snake_p: DO YOU HAVE THE MEMORY STICK????

mojolad: Oh, sure. I think it's this one {removes memory stick from pocket}, or this one {removes another memory stick from pocket} or one of these {empties several dozen memory sticks onto table}.

snake_p: He means that if you don't shut up, you will spend the rest of your life shoveling elephant poop in a Cambodian prison. {BHaz's coffin is beamed on to the bridge. The coffin is emblazoned with a Guess Reports Logo}

snake_p: BHaz! {uses Vulcan pinch grip to open coffin revealing BHaz inside. Fortunately, BHaz was not embalmed or cremated, nor has his body deteriorated in any way. While physically impossible, the plot would be ruined otherwise}.

snake_p: Now if I can place this memory stick in his hand, while placing my hand around his hand, I can do some badass Vulcan stuff and bring BHaz back to life. {snake_p focuses intently on bringing BHaz back to life. Everyone else watches - except caesari/Uhuru who is sitting in his chair and facing citizenkane. He is checking out caesari/Uhuru and winks}

snake_p: AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!! It's not working - something is missing!

polabones: DAMMIT 2CHAIR! I'M A DOCTOR - NOT A - ah, crap. I keep forgetting I have to handle medical emergencies. {Runs to BHaz's corpse and grabs it. He begins slapping BHaz's face} DAMMIT BHaz!! You have to live! We can't do this without you!! If you aren't around, it means more lines for 2chair in the next sequel!!!! {begins violently rocking BHaz's corpse and slamming his head against the floor} DAMMIT BHAZ!! HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN T.J. HOOKER!! YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE!!!