Is Anyone An Expert Anymore?

In a related vein, there's no official degree-granting institution for con men and criminals — there are a lot. Jail fills in for many as a sort of finishing school, to the point where some criminals actually get caught on purpose so they can attend (and with full funding, mind you), in order to get the full immersion experience among their ilk and work on their skills. Ain't society ironic?

tough jobs, no training

Most people engage in one or more of three very common ways to spend one's time at some point — being a romantic partner, a lover and a parent — yet there are no degrees available to make one an expert in any of these fields. As Dennis Miller once said: "Parenting is the easiest job to get — you just have to screw up once and it's yours."

Of course there's no shortage of people trying to horn in on these markets: pick-up and sex guides in print and on the Internet, fellatio and cunnilingus courses hosted by sex shops, and parenting classes — hosted by sex shops. But to my knowledge (which, in case you couldn't tell, is pretty random), no one, thank God, has presumed to give degrees in any of these domains. Is it because these pursuits are, by their very nature as well as their infinite styles of approach, too personal?

Despite all the variations you might throw into preparing a soufflé or even the most complex Kraft pasta product, can that really compare to the permutations and combinations involved in raising a kid or picking up an adult? Helpful principles are one thing, but to all those who claim to have a definitive and foolproof recipe for any of these subtle arts, I want my money back!

the praise game

The point is that no degree actually ever tells you how good you are at something; it only indicates your potential. The approbation of your boss, your colleagues, your significant other, or your kids is what qualifies you to keep going, or perhaps even branch out. For example, if your wife obviously adores you without any special effort on your part, maybe it's time to extend yourself a little and take on another.

So wonder no longer whether you've got what it takes to do something; if you're getting good feedback, keep on truckin', and if not, well, I hear there are exciting new opportunities opening up in mobile encyclopedia sales.