When Emotions Go Embittered

The basic human expectations are fraught with a lot of disappointments. A worker might have put a lot of efforts in being the best in his unit and he is never appreciated; a couple might have put a lot into making a marriage work, yet one of them files a divorce; you might have sacrificed a lot in making your friendship work, still, you are openly backstabbed; you might even be a gentleman who respects the law and try as much as possible to be patriotic and true to your country, yet the law goes against you, you are arrested and get jailed for no just cause. You become disenchanted, feeling you have been unfairly treated, angry towards the system, your partner or the company that never appreciates your efforts. You become embittered, feeling pained, revengeful and generally unforgiving.

Embittered emotions are particularly experienced when people feel that their basic beliefs about life have been violated and they are plotting to get even so that they can feel good about themselves. This can be so debilitating causing impairments in daily functioning across social, occupational and or personal strata.

The characteristic behaviour of an embittered person is similar to what is experienced by someone with adjustment problems such as being bereaved, changing an environment and so on but embittered emotions particularly stem from perceived or real injustice which can potentially graduate to anger.

An embittered person sees revenge as an arbiter yet seething with revenge is like drinking a poison and expecting another person to die; when you revenge, you set another negative event which continues ad infinitum if the other person seeks revenge too.

When emotions go embittered, learn to embrace emotional calmness by engaging in mindfulness-based relaxation techniques or see a clinical psychologist.