'Question, Persuade, Refer' training hopes to prevent suicide

Jessica Weston City Editor Jessica_Weston9

Wednesday

Nov 7, 2018 at 12:01 AM

Ellen J. Eggert has a long list of titles. She is a school suicide prevention specialist, grief recovery specialist, substance abuse specialist and provides services in suicide prevention/intervention education and postvention support. She is also a supervisor for the Kern County mental health hotline. While others elsewhere in the building were voting, Eggert led a training session on suicide prevention at the Kerr McGee Center Tuesday morning.

Eggert handed out materials from the QPR Institute. QPR stands for question, persuade, refer. This is shorthand for a strategy to help someone who may be suicidal.

The training session was primarily for members of the local faith community, although anyone was welcome. Eggert’s material emphasized that while QPR is not intended to be a form of counseling or treatment, it is intended to offer hope through positive action.

Eggert started off by going over some myths and facts. Suicides are not inevitable she said. In fact, Eggert repeatedly stated that if someone in crisis gets help they are unlikely to become suicidal again.

Asking someone if they are suicidal, contrary to myth, is not more likely to encourage them to commit the act. It is far more likely to help.

“People want us to ask them,” she said. She added that research backs this premise up.

Another myth, she said, is that only experts can prevent suicide. The truth according to Eggert is that almost anyone can help.

“Suicide is the most preventable kind of death and almost any positive action may save a life,” according to Eggert’s presentation. She advised being alert to suicide clues and warning signs. “The more clues and signs observed, the greater the risk. Take all signs seriously,” her presentation advised.

Previous suicide attempts put someone at higher risk, she said, and many people who attempt suicide do talk about it ahead of time. Eggert said they may say things like “you won’t have to worry about me soon” or similar statements.

Other indirect verbal clues include statements such as “I am tired of life, I just can’t go on” or “I just want out.”

In addition to previous attempts, other behavioral clues include acquiring a gun or stockpiling pills, putting personal affairs in order, giving away prized possessions or a sudden uncharacteristic interest or disinterest in religion.

Eggert told the story of one young man who gave away all his possessions including a prized letterman jacket and committed suicide the next day. She said to be alert to such behavior.

“No one is just that generous,” she said.

Other potential suicidal triggers include sudden changes in life situations such as being fired from a job or expelled from school, a recent unwanted move, loss of any major relationship, death of a spouse or child or friend — especially by suicide, diagnosis of a serious or terminal illness, anticipated loss of financial security or fear of becoming a burden to others.

Another possible indicator is drug or alcohol abuse. Eggert said 20 percent of suicides are done by alcoholics and 60 percent of suicides have some sort of substance in their system at the time. She urged people to look at addiction and alcoholism as a disease and not a moral failing and to help people get treatment.

Eggert said to err on the side of caution when bringing up the subject. In other words, don’t be afraid to ask if someone is suicidal even at the risk of offending them. She told stories of approaching and helping strangers who were grateful for her concern. Eggert strongly refuted the myth that asking someone about suicide will put the idea in his or her head. Either it is or it isn’t, she said. Asking won’t give them the idea, but it might encourage them to get help.

She gave tips for asking the difficult questions to determine if someone is suicidal: if in doubt, don’t wait; be persistent; speak in a private setting; allow the person to talk freely; allow plenty of time for the conversation; and have resources handy such as a QPR card, phone numbers, counselor’s names and other information.

A less direct approach to start the conversation softly could be to ask “Have you been unhappy lately?” or “Do you ever wish you could go to sleep and never wake up?”

The more direct approach is to come out and ask, “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

Most important, though, according to Eggert is not to be afraid to ask. “How you ask the question is less important than that you ask it,” according to her presentation. She also urged that if you can’t ask the question to find someone who can.

Other advice includes listening to the other person and giving them your full attention, not rushing to judgement and offering hope in any form. Ask the person if they want you to go with them to get help or to let you get them help. The best referral is taking the person directly to get help. Second best is getting a commitment from them to accept help and making arrangements for them to get it. The next best is it give referral information and try to get a commitment not to attempt or commit suicide.

“Any willingness to accept help at some time, even if it is in the future, is a good outcome,” according to the presentation.

Also important is telling the person “I want you to live” or “I am on your side, we will get through this.” Keeping in touch, following up and getting others involved is also highly recommended.

Eggert also said that she was not advocating gun control as a political position, but noted that keeping firearms away from potentially suicidal people is effective in preventing suicides, given that 50 percent of suicides deaths are by guns, a leading cause of suicide in the U.S. She recommended reducing a suicidal person’s access to guns. She said more than once this is a temporary safety intervention and not an anti-gun statement.

The training was largely for faith-based officers, but it applies to anyone. Eggert repeatedly emphasized that concern and attention is the key. She told many stories of people whose suicidal plans were stopped by concern from a new or old friend or even a concerned stranger.

“Most people don’t want to die,” Eggert said. “They want out of their unbearable pain and think suicide is the only way to do it.”

The Kern County Mental Health Crisis Hotline is available 24 hours a day at 1-800-991-5272. Dial 711 for Telecommunications Relay Service. The crisis hotline is not just for people feeling suicidal, but also provides intervention and prevention services including help with problem-solving skills, anxiety, coping, depression, relationship problems, anger management and substance use.

Kern Stop Meth Now can be reached at 1-855-No2METH or 1-855-662-6384 or www.KernStopMethNow.com

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