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July 21, 2010

It has been an interesting couple weeks to say the least. We knew that after 50 months, we were closing in on the end of our wait for our "china baby". We thought we might have a few more months of waiting ahead, but only one day after we celebrated our 50 Month Anniversary, we got some TERRIFIC news.

Before you go jumping to conclusions, no we did not get "The Call"........ but we did find out that we are NEXT!!!

What does that mean?

That means in approximately 4 weeks...... we are going to see the face of our daughter for the first time:)

I can't really put into words how this makes me feel...... I am so SUPER EXCITED that I can barely think and function!! Most of the time I feel as though I am walking around without my head. I am forgetting things when I leave the house. I am getting "lost" around town...... I pulled into the gas station the other day and got out to pump, only to realize that my tank was on the other side......and on Friday afternoon, I was in such a daze I ran a red light. I am NEVER like this and I need to pull it together.

So I sit here now asking myself how I am going to get through the next few weeks?

It is going to be rough, but luckily we are going to be busy and have a couple of quick weekend trips planned with the kids that should help me take my mind off things.

I am trying very hard not to obsess about it......but it is not working because she is on my mind 24/7. I have been dreaming about her face for over 5 years....knowing my dreams are about to become our reality gets me so emotional.

In addition to thinking about her, I have been thinking a lot about Sarah. Nick is old enough to understand.....he gets it. Sarah on the other hand does not really grasp what we are telling her. I don't think she will until she sees a picture....or maybe until we return from China with a baby in our arms.

I am praying that Sarah will take her role as "big sister" as something positive and not something negative. That being said, I know that it is completely normal for them to have some issues or to become a little jealous during that initial homecoming/transition phase.

If anyone has any advice or suggestions to help pave the way and prepare her for the changes about to happen, feel free to chime in.

As you can tell, Emotions are running high and I am letting my mind run at wharp speed...with very little sleep I might add. I am thinking that this is all very normal when you get this close to referral.....right???

I was thinking about you when I heard the news! I can only imagine how you feel right now, and don't expect it to get any better once you see that photo! :) You'll be running around on the high emotions for a while. HOW EXCITING!!!

Oh, so very normal Lisa. Running red lights, forgetting things (everything)....completely normal.(And there's no garantee that it'll get that much better - it's a crazy, wild adventure and you just have to hang on and ride it out.)

And you will look back on this moment and smile 'cause the high is higher than anything and the joy unmatched.

I'm beyond thrilled for you and your family Lisa. Sarah will have a few hurdles to clear - and she will clear them. I can hardly stand it that in a few weeks - you will finally see "her" face.

You are next...what a feeling! I have no doubt that little Sarah will do well with the adjustment to her new little sister. She'll be awesome. I suggest some alone time with mommy when you get back from China, that always helps.

I am a long time follower but not a great commenter. I have been following your blog for quite a while... right after Sarah came home. I am so excited for you that your wait is almost over to see the face of your child for the first time! I remember the high anxiety of waiting for that call!

I am sure Sarah will love her role as a big sister after some initial jealousy! Even my big kids were somewhat jealous of their baby sister... and they agree that she is the best thing that has ever happened to our family!

Oh the joy I have for you guys is palpable! These next few weeks will be like non other but what comes after is an experience all on it's own!

Sarah will be a wonderful big sister because she has a wonderful!! big brother who has shown her compassion, love and is always there for her. Nick has already passed on the skill now Sarah will need to learn to use it and she will I'm sure!

Oh, how exciting for you! I remember the feeling so well. Both times! You will probably become even more forgetful when you've actually seen her picture!!! Hope you get that call soon.

Beautiful photo of Sarah. With the pout and everything. I think it's important to try to capture all their expressions and not only the smiling ones. I'm sure she'll be fine once you're home with the baby. Our oldest became a big sister at 4 and she just took our youngest to her heart as soon as she saw her picture. She carried it with her everywhere and was so proud. She came with us to China and was of course the one who got little sister to show us the first smile and let us her the first belly laugh. She is the best big sister and today they are 7 and 4 years old and the best of friends. Right now they are playing picnic with their dolls on the lawn.

Oh Lisa, I can feel your excitement through this post, and i'm SO excited and thrilled for you.I agree with Kayce, Sarah will be a fab big sis, she has learned all she needs to know from Nick. An odd moment of jealousy is only natural, and once you can get some alone time with her, she'll be fine.In the meantime, look after yourself, cos I'm sure it'g going to get very busy. Do you have aromatherapy oils over there? I could recommend some good ones to keep calm if you want.

I am so excited for you, Lisa!!!! I can only imagine how exciting/ nerve wracking this all can be, especially after the 50 month wait! How you waited so patiently for this long is beyond me! I hope it will be a smooth transition with Sarah, though I'm sure it will! There's plenty of love to go around :o)

Yes, everything that you are feeling is normal...just think how hard it will be to wait to go and get her after you see her face...the 5 1/2 months we had to wait to get Maggie were excrutiating! Sarah will be fine, but yes, she is going to have some transition time...I think that Nate will never get over not being the "baby" of the family. Knowing you, you will do wonderfully helping everyone through it! I am so excited for you and can't wait to share the rest of your journey with you. Oh, and I will see you in 2 days...yahoooooo~

Adoption haze and emotions certainly run high no matter what stage of the process you are in. Your post brought tears to my eyes...I met a local lady who reached out to me yesterday regarding an adoption she did 4 years ago. The challenges, the joy and the heartache unit strangers together in a beautiful way. We are all hoping these next 4 weeks fly by for you, and we can't wait to see that beautiful little girls face just as soon as you can share her with us. Nick and Sarah will love her so much, and with time I am sure will adapt and understand.

Congratulations! I am so, so happy for you all! I cannot even imagine the thrill of knowing you are going to see her face so soon. There might be a little sibling rivalry at times, but I am sure that Sarah will fall in love with her new sister the instant she sees her!

I am so excited for you Lisa! As many others have stated before me, you are an amazing mommy and will guide Sarah into her new role as big sister. You will most likely hit some rough patches during the initial "get to know each other" phase, but I have no doubt the love you and your family have for one another will out shine any difficulties that might come your way.

I can't wait to see the beautiful face of your new daughter. I bet she is going to look amazing when you finally get to post her in your B&W Wednesday series.

Oh Lisa, I will be praying for all of you. Right before Emma came home (and we only had 9 weeks to prepare Lottie) we prayed and prayed and more than even praying for attachment we prayed that Lottie would love Emma and accept her as her sister. She loved Emma at first sight. She took her little hand in hers and has never let go. We have so many attachment problems with Emma but the one person Emma is attached to and loves.....is Lottie. (Not that is is the healthiest solution but at least she loves someone!!! :)I will be praying for your sweet girl and her heart to be open to being a big sister. Big hugs my friend!

You think YOU can't wait! We are all living vicariously through you (can you tell from all of these comments? heh)... WE can't wait! *grin* Seriously, though, we are SO excited for you. I can't wait to hear ALL of the news!

As for the other, I've got only one child, so I don't have too much to offer, but I have seen up close two families who dealt with/ are dealing with difficult transitions when it comes to sibling adjustment. (They are the minority - we know lots of families who dealt with typical jealousy and everything was fine overall.) One thing I would recommend, after seeing those family dynamics, is to concentrate a ton on bonding while in China. From what I've observed and heard from these two mommas, it is difficult to treat everyone equally when you are bonded to one or more of your children, but not the newest addition. If that makes sense? Other things they wish they had done more of is to concentrate on the practicalities of childproofing, freezing meals and such. The jump from two to three is huge, they said. And every little thing done to make it easier helps.

But you know I'm gonna be calling you for advice in a little less than a year. Because I am SO nervous about this topic.

That is fantastic! I am so happy for you! Now, I have a question (and this is probably dumb because you probably answered it on your blog somewhere and I missed it..) is this going to be a baby or is this a child that has been born and it has taken 50 months to get the legal junk over with?

As to Big Sister, keep YOUR mind open - your confidence in her will be one of the biggest assets you have during the transition. If you subconsciously indicate to her that you're worried about her reaction, she might pick up on it and act accordingly. Just speak to her openly and honestly and positively. Designate, if you can, ahead of time, jobs that will be solely hers - make her the official lotion-rubber or outfit picker or both! Teach her a special lullabye that will be HERS to sing to her sister and hers alone and be sure to ask her to sing it when the baby is upset, so that when you do calm her down, you can praise Sarah for being such a good big sister. And then schedule in special time for just her.

All of this is, I'm sure, perfectly normal! It's no different than a woman at week 34 or 35 of her pregnancy! (WITHOUT, though, the fretting and worries about episiotomies and botched epidurals - even better... score!) I'm sure you'll go through nesting, too! Congratulations - I'm so happy for you all!

So good to see you OUT of your normal CONTROL and knowing that its because you are so excited about the news you are about to get that will complete your family.

I am feeling much the same and she's not even MY baby! I just can't wait, as if I haven't told you that enough already. Patience really isn't my strong suit.

The unknown is always scary and loving Sarah as much as you do it is only natural that you would worry about adjustment. You are doing all the right things and Sarah will do what she will do...you won't know what THAT is until the baby is a reality.So stop worrying and enjoy this time...dream a little longer because your wish is about to come true.

Oh. LISA!! That is wonderful news!! It is very exciting & you do kinda "lose your head"! lol!

I will be praying for Sarah! It may be hard, because she's been the only "girl". The "baby girl" for so long.. that's all she knows. It was hard for McKenna. Really hard. But, As I've said before.. God heals all wounds. She will LOVE her sister.. and,.. in time.. she won't be able to imagine her life.. without her.{{HUGS}} It will all come together!Oh.. can't wait for that post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes... remembering quite well how you are feeling. To have that dream, that abstract child of your imagination actually take on flesh and appear in front of you in a little referral picture... there is nothing like it in the world.I am so very glad that the end of the (very, very, very) long road to China is fast approaching.

Ok.. my advice... keep as busy as you can... and sleep as much as you can cause as soon as you get 'The Call'... it is a whirlwind ride like no other... you will obsess with finding any and all pieces of info about her, the orphanage, combing the net for photos of the orphanage/city she is from, other families with kids from the same orphanage... oh yeah... get ready for it :) Oh and you WILL NOT sleep... you will be overwhelmed... stressed you won't get everything done - everything... then when you are in China and back... you will think... Why was I worried... and you will realize how you stressed about nothing worth stressing about... the stress is just so negative... enjoy the ride but also expect the worst that she will be 'grieving' etc not being negative, just realistic... hugs to you can can't wait to hear the news...

I haven't read all the other comments and I may be repeating them but you are SO normal! You are a mom with you mind on your child and everything else just seems to float by... been there. Actually still there just a little while waiting. And we are having the same things going on with EK as you are with Sarah. We are preparing her as best we can but I really think it is something they will have to experience and we are there to support. I will tell you this... about 2 months ago, I heard speak to my heart and say, "Be intentional." I think I had just been going through the motions of life being so focused on going to get SJ... I wasn't living in the now. I felt God tell me to love the days I'm in because one day very soon, our family will change greatly never to be the same... EK never to be the baby again. There are the last days that she will be the baby and I must be intentional each minute to make them the best. Now I'm not saying she will not be special anymore or anything like that... it will just be different in a good way. I think I'm rambling so I'll just say. Try to put your mind on today and everything else will take care of itself. I am praying for you and all that you are dealing with. From one mom heart to another... we are in this together!!!Blessings,sharon

Such exciting times around your house! So thrilled for all of you and can't wait to hear all about your referral. That absent-mindedness gets even more pronounced after you see her photo and wait to travel -- just warning you! :)

Lisa, you're a planner so your mind is racing to try to anticipate every issue and cover every base. But, of course, there is so much unknown about the world you're about to enter that you just can't plan for it. I'm a planner too and this part of motherhood was hard for me so I decided to just wait and see. To take it a day at a time.

Sarah is the baby of the family now and that will change but it's not unnatural for new children to join a family so I'm sure she'll do fine. But as a veteran parent yourself, you know there will be bumps and snags as she adjusts to her new role. You'll help her through that and a new normal will eventually settle upon your happy house.

I'm so thrilled for you! I remember vividly how every minute of our referral process unfolded. From the ring of the phone to the UPS guy delivering the photos! It's magical and I'm so excited that it's about to happen to you!

ahhh!!! one more month! I will be stalking RQ to keep on top of rumors, and thinking about you! I may be able to dig up some stuff at work related to sibling adjustment...let me know if you are interested and I'll see what I can find. ...very happy for you!Mindy

What awesome news!! I can not imagine what you are going through but I know you well enough to know you will pull through it! Yes..it probably is great that you have so much else going on but also remember to document all of your feelings...I did that for my girls when they were little and my grandma did it for my mom and it is so fun to go back and read. I am sure Sarah will have her moments but I know even just bringing Kya into the picture as an infant, it helped me tremendously to include her in everything. There were times when it was easier to not include her but I would notice that is when it was hardest on her. Keeping your family in our thoughts and prayers and praying the month goes by quickly.

I know how it is to be in cloud nine and it's the best feeling. Enjoy your last few weeks as a family of four because after she gets here, it will be a totaly new dynamic. And Sarah will do just fine. Children are friendly by nature and big sisters are a lot of help. Don't strees out, enjoy it as they will be this little for such a short time!

WOW that is so excting! just getting caught up on your blog. Love yoru photography, I"m learning, its tough goign with a dial up connection. Loving adoption! we have a 3 1/2 year old adopted from Guatemala and are waiting to adopt our second child right now. I cannot express how thrilled I am for you to be NEXT!

Liam was six when we met Em and -although he was an immature six for a variety of reasons- he took to her pretty readily. He was jealous the first few weeks... I was spending my nights on her floor and so David spent his nights with Liam to make it a "slumber party"... I took him out twice a week by ourselves. I as actually shocked how easy the transition was....

Liam was six when we met Em and -although he was an immature six for a variety of reasons- he took to her pretty readily. He was jealous the first few weeks... I was spending my nights on her floor and so David spent his nights with Liam to make it a "slumber party"... I took him out twice a week by ourselves. I as actually shocked how easy the transition was....

Liam was six when we met Em and -although he was an immature six for a variety of reasons- he took to her pretty readily. He was jealous the first few weeks... I was spending my nights on her floor and so David spent his nights with Liam to make it a "slumber party"... I took him out twice a week by ourselves. I as actually shocked how easy the transition was....

I wish I had some words of advice about the sibling adjustment or how to relieve the high emotional state you are in, but I can't. I think it is just part of the process and it's undeniable that you will feel this way. Looking back on that time of our wait, NOW, I love the anticipation of the wait (however we only waited 12 monhts). I am so excited for you. Best piece of advice, enjoy your family right now, just the way you are, because in just a matter of weeks it will all change (for the better). I am so excited for you!!!

So excited for you!!! The jealousy thing does happen, but it tapers off eventually. We took our 5 year old daughter with us when we brought home our 2 year old son. She was WONDERFUL with him in China, but as soon as we stepped foot into our home it was a different story. She did not want him touching anything in the house, because it was all HERS!!! It was rough for a good month, but after much redirection (and time-outs) the jealousy is went away. They still have sibling quarrels, but nothing like in the beginning and they are very sweet to each other too!Best of luch as you wait out this next month. Enjoy getting ready!

I am so happy for you. what increadable news. i remember when i was next the time seemed to go at a snails pace. But it will be here soon enough. China is like the hurry up and wait theory. Just think in a few short months she will be in your arms and all will be forgotton. I pray for a speedy, safe and joyful journey for all

Your next!!! I'm so happy for you. Everything you described sounds perfectly normal to me. I remember being in that sweet "I just got my referral" haze all too well. Don't expect it to end any time soon, but do channel that excitement into things like putting the final touches on her room, making a packing list, stocking up on the stuff you'll need to travel because in a few weeks, the whirlwind will really begin. Can't wait!

I am BEYOND excited for you!!! I cannot imagine how you and Pat are feeling right now. I can't wait to meet this beautiful child! How lucky she is to have you as her mother :-) Love you all so much and overjoyed with your wonderful news!

Oooo, I am so excited for you. We were out of town this week and I didn't get to post a B&W Wednesday, but I am making visits tonight. I have never been through adoption, but I have brought babies home to a home with toddlers happily waiting. We always made it special for them as well. We made a point to give the waiting toddler a gift(s) from the new baby. They always had their own "babies" to take care of and were given very special helping jobs that were only theirs. We tried to help them feel proud and special to be the big brother/sister.

You seem like very warm special people and already go out of your way to raise confident, loving people and it is sure to go great. Congratulations.

Lisa,Congrats on being next!!! What a blessing to finally know you will see her face soon!!! It is such a special day!! And, just the beginning of great things! I am a friend of Denise's and Bridget's and both gave me a heads up yesterday on your great news!!! I look forward to celebrating with you too!!!

I would love to get on your list for future workshops.. It has been amazing to see Denise's growth!!!! She told me about PA, and it sounded fantastic!!!!

Lastly, I have adopted twice from China. The first time our oldest daughter was 6 when her 9 month old sister came home. It was a difficult transition, and I am happy to share my experience anytime with you! And, we just came home in March with our "middle child" and our other girls were now 9 and almost 4. Again, we are still transitioning.. But, all are finding there way!!!

I think it is just important to know that it will be hard. As exciting as it all is, your other children have to now share you... At times it is tiring, but so rewarding too. This will grow you in sooo many ways!!!

SO SO happy for you Lisa! I cannot wait to hear your good news. Good thing you will be busy to keep your mind off the final wait because that is rough but also lots of fun! :) Sarah will adjust just fine, all kids do. The more you accept the regression that will likely occur, the easier it will be. Magnolia blatantly peed on the floor in front of me whenever I fed the baby. Sometimes even now she'll ask for a bottle of milk. We don't bat an eye or give any reaction and tell ourselves that it all passes and it's all normal. Hugs. :)

Wow, wow, WOW!!!! I'm oh so excited for you!!! Days now...days!! Cannot wait to celebrate your referral with you soon!

Sorry for the late comment. Still working on balancing Hannah time with blogging and Hannah time always wins out so reading blogs gets fit in as I can. That being said, will excitedly be watching for your news next month. Also, praying for Sarah and her adjustment to her new baby sister.