Day 19 of 365

When I was 18 years old literally the day of my 18th birthday party I got in a relationship with someone who was absolutely amazing it seemed anyway so attentive walked from the next town over every weekend and always telling me I was beautiful and how perfect I was. I should also add at this time I had very bad mental health and also suffering from an eating disorder and weighed like 6 and half stone. So having him say those things made me feel good about myself he "helped" build me back up.

Within 6 months we were living together and had started to build a life and that first year in our house was amazing it seemed so perfect and then shortly after our first year is when he first hit me we had been arguing about our views and he had been saying some horrible things like my parents had failed me, I was everything that is wrong with this world and I might as well let "the packis" bum me.

So I told him no, his parents had failed him and this earned me a slap in the face, a few months later I had twisted my ankle and was unable to go to work that day and this caused an argument and that ended in me getting a head-butt and a bust nose. After both of these occasions he brought me home flowers and was nice to me after and this is why I stayed as I thought it was just a momentary time of madness. He then started to get more and more controlling.

I had to dye my hair a natural color and take my piercings out I was also not allowed to get any tattoos while I was with him. He then started to tell me things like no one else would love me but him and how I was nothing but a lazy waste of space. Our second first Christmas together he chucked the Xmas tree across the living room because an argument got heated. We then moved into our second house together and I left my job to pretty much be a house wife for him that's when the insults got worse even though he asked me to do it.

Every night his tea was ready the house was clean and he had clean clothes in his drawers all I ask him to do was wash up at the end of the day and that was just too much but I did everything else in that house. It got to the point that when where arguing he would be so aggressive and intimidating that I would be crying in a heap on the floor begging him to leave me alone and he would not this was happening every couple of days.

During these arguments if I tried to roll a cigarette or make a phone call he would wrestle me to the floor and take them off me saying he paid for them and if I was going to be like that (wanting 10 minutes to myself without him shouting at me) then he was keeping them. This went on for 3 years until I got my own job I then started to find my confidence again and I left him I just up and went. Told him I no longer loved him and asked him to leave, surprisingly he did but it did not end there, he collected his stuff when I was at work and trashed the house, took the washing machine leaving a massive pile of wet clothes on the floor and also broke my clothes airer so I had no way of drying them as it was October.

So I put a status up on Facebook and got a convoy of my friends and emptied the house of my belongings in less than an hour and moved back in with my parents. That was October 2016 we are now in January 2018 and I am still living with my parents but I am finally starting to feel like me again and have spent the last year and a bit on a roller coaster fixing myself and I think I can finally say I am over that period of my life and ready to move on.