We’re going to talk about Foria, the newest cannabis product to hit Colorado shelves. While we’re familiar with edibles and different strains of flower, this is a new future for marijuana. Sex lube.

The fact that there’s something to help women experience new sexual pleasures is amazing no matter if it’s cannabis-laden or not.

Bill and I have a really great time together regularly. We’re not the “in the missionary position with the lights off for the sole purpose of procreation” type. So, I’ll leave it at that. I’m not trying to fix anything with Foria or needing any miracle libido cures. We’re good.

We smoke out each and every time we get it on. We’re daily smokers, always at night, high before sex and then an after sex smoke. There are strains that have absolutely killed our libidos, what we affectionately call “sleepy weed,” and there are strains that reinforce it. But there has rarely been a strain that actually enhances our drives. Bill seems to vaguely remember it happening once, but can’t remember the strain since it was years ago. So, we’ll just say that it’s a part of our regular sexual experience either way.

We used it on our crazy Friday nights and we tested it out on a regular old Tuesday nights. Because of this testing, we now have a new inside sex joke, “hey, do you want a Tuesday on a Monday? wink, wink.”

Friday Night

Friday nights are not typical nights, other than we do this every Friday. They are fueled by tequila cocktails, blunts, and “fun pills” (you’re going to have to read a different blog about those, and it’s already in the works to launch in a couple of weeks). We just added Foria to the mix to see what would happen.

The directions state:

Allow at least 30 minutes to up to an hour to relax and fully absorb the medicine – a great time for foreplay and sensual massage. Pleasure yourself alone or with a partner as you desire.

Eating a good meal 1-2 hours before might impact efficacy, as THC is fat soluble. As with all use of medical marijuana, plan your day accordingly and be safe.

Soooo, they make it sound like my pussy is about to get stoned. Awesome. Bill suggested I go with 8 sprays.

“I pretty much did 12 trying to make sure I got it inside” I replied in a text to him as he was downstairs. “It’s been 10 minutes since the sprays. Fuck yeah, science!”

Clearly, we were excited for testing.

A lot of awesome things went on. Things were more enhanced. More sensitivity, more blood flow, more wet, more of everything (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). My notes at the end, “Overall – fucking five stars.”

Wednesday Night

Now, I know we couldn’t judge this on a Friday night experience alone, and I suspected that “warming up” with the oil for at least 30 minutes probably helps a lot of women relax and get into it. So we tested it out on a Wednesday night – no tequila cocktails, no blunts (but we did smoke a bit before).

“Awesome orgasm. Not comparable to Friday night, although still amazing,” were the notes.

So, there’s an average weekday experience. I didn’t think the oil made a difference one way or the other this time. I was beginning to think that Foria was giving women a placebo effect.

Monday Night

We tested it out again on another weekday night, and Mondays are the nights that we’re both typically spent, tired from working all day, and not rolling around in the sheets. I couldn’t think of a more perfect day to test efficacy of enhancement oil.

It was incredible. I think the biggest difference is how it makes it easier to do more of the things you maybe already do, or hope to do. Enhancement is the perfect word for all of this. This is next level oil. I think the key is an excited, encouraging mental state, though.

“I don’t know if it’s the oil or me,” I told Bill afterward.

“It’s the oil. After ****ing you thousands of times, knowing you more than anyone else, it’s the oil,” he replied.