In Pictures: The 25 Largest Fictional Companies

Our very first ranking of the largest fictional companies in the universe has been a mammoth undertaking. Dozens of reporters have spent countless hours poring over financial documents, our far-flung network of correspondents has traveled much of the space-time continuum, and sophisticated algorithms have been perfected to perform the tricky business of converting gold pieces, Zorkmids and other exotic currencies into 2007 U.S. dollars. But it has been a labor of love, and we hope you enjoy reading it as much as we have enjoyed writing it.

#1 Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles (CHOAM)

Headquarters: Planet Kaitain

Industry: Pharmaceuticals

CEO: Shaddam Corrino IV

Est. 2007 sales: $1.7 trillion

Company's monopoly of spice melange drug is central to enormous success; spice accounts for 80% of all CHOAM's revenues and even a higher percentage of profits. Enviable customer-loyalty model: One dose of spice is enough to addict a person for a lifetime, continued use extends lifespan by hundreds of years, and quitting is invariably fatal. Several intergalactic tobacco companies rumored to be investigating partnerships.

#2 Acme Corp.

Headquarters: Acme Acres, Acmetropolis

Industry: Conglomerate

CEO: Marvin K. Acme Jr.

Est. 2007 sales: $348.7 billion

Wal-Mart-sized Acme Corp., long the "leader in creative mayhem," the universe's largest purveyor of anvils, earthquake pills and jet-propelled pogo sticks, now branching out into theme parks. New CEO enthuses, "People want to experience the Acme lifestyle in a more meaningful way than merely purchasing one of our 'charmingly defective' products." Skeptics point out safety concerns; limited market for being flattened by a boulder, blown up by a faulty detonator or impaled upon a cactus. Acme Jr. waves away concerns: "As my father always used to say, If it's Acme, it's a gasser!"

#3 Sirius Cybernetics Corp.

Headquarters: Sirius Tau System

Industry: Technology

CEO: Loudma Dsagas

Est. 2007 sales: $327.2 billion

Intergalactic technology vendor. Products feature "Genuine People Personalities"; doors thank users for opening them, robots suffer from paranoia and depression, drink dispensers analyze customers' taste buds yet inevitably dispense a beverage that tastes "almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea." The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy defines the Marketing Division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corp. as "a bunch of mindless jerks who will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes."

#6 Soylent Corp.

Headquarters: New York, N.Y.

Industry: Processed & Packaged Goods

CEO: William R. Simonson

Est. 2007 sales: $157.1 billion

Exclusive provider of U.S. government synthetic-food rations. Staple products Soylent Yellow and Red, both high-energy vegetable concentrates, increasingly eclipsed by new Soylent Green, which is produced in secretive, heavily guarded farms and factories. Rumors abound regarding composition of the tasty, brightly colored wafers; Soylent Corp. describes them as "a miracle food of high-energy plankton," but critics claim they might be made of something less appetizing.

#8 Frobozz Magic Co.

Headquarters: Quendor

Industry: Conglomerate

CEO: John D. Flathead

Est. 2007 sales: $112.9 billion

"You name it, we do it" is an appropriate motto for a company with over 17,000 subsidiaries and the stated corporate goal of controlling every Zorkmid ever minted. Seemingly disparate concerns such as the Frobozz Magic Avocado Co., the Frobozz Magic Bathrobe Co. and Frobozz Magic Purple Beast Alarm System Co. are united by a unique corporate philosophy best expressed as "hello, sailor" or the number 69,105.

#10 Tyrell Corp.

Headquarters: Los Angeles, Calif.

Industry: Aerospace & Defense

CEO: Dr. Eldon Tyrell

Est. 2007 sales: $59.4 billion

PETA, Amnesty International, Greenpeace, countless other activist groups have linked arms with bio-ethicists of all stripes in loudly declaiming the activities of the Tyrell Corp., maker of highly realistic androids. No matter--nearly everyone else wants a robot that is "more human than human." Consumer advocacy groups outraged by four-year planned obsolescence on most Tyrell products, but founder Eldon Tyrell insists feature is required for the safety of customers.

#11 Wayne Enterprises

Headquarters: Gotham City, U.S.A.

Industry: Conglomerate

CEO: Lucius Fox

Est. 2007 sales: $31.3 billion

Founded by merchant ancestors of Wayne family in the 17th century, Wayne Enterprises has grown to encompass defense technologies, petrochemicals and alien artifact retrieval. Profits up significantly due to sale of "Brother Eye" spy satellite technology to U.S. government. Majority stockholder Bruce Wayne subject of FBI investigation after top-secret military prototypes "lost" from company storage.

#12 Virtucon

Headquarters: Evil Island, Fla.

Industry: Conglomerate

CEO: Scott Evil

Est. 2007 sales: $24.9 billion

Former CEO "Number Two" spent 30 years turning a two-bit evil empire into a world-class multi-billion-dollar corporation; was rewarded by owner Dr. Evil with death by incineration. Virtucon owns cable companies in 38 states, a steel mill in Cleveland, shipping in Texas, oil refineries in Seattle and a factory in Chicago that makes miniature models of factories. Also majority institutional shareholder of coffee chain Starbucks.

#13 Globex

Headquarters: Cypress Creek, U.S.A.

Industry: Conglomerate

CEO: Hank Scorpio

Est. 2007 sales: $23.7 billion

Technology conglomerate named one of the "America's Best Employers," thanks in part to innovative programs like providing hammocks for workers. Revenues up significantly; productivity in nuclear division well ahead of weather machine and germ warfare divisions. Iconoclastic CEO Hank Scorpio known for being the first wealthy man in America to wear jeans with a sport coat, carrying loose sugar in his pockets, conquering the East Coast with a doomsday device.

#16 Stark Industries

Headquarters: New York, N.Y.

Industry: Aerospace & Defense

CEO: Tony Stark

Est. 2007 sales: $20.3 billion

Stark Industries dominates headlines following alleged misdeeds of security personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan. Regardless, family controlled company saw sales surge thanks to contacts forged after Stark was appointed head of global law-enforcement unit S.H.I.E.L.D. New line of "Hulkbuster" armored suits won $6.2 billion Department of Defense contract.

#18 Oceanic Airlines

Headquarters: Fort Worth, Tex.

Industry: Transportation

CEO: Edward Murphy

2007 sales: $7.8 billion

Despite record revenues, airline group currently seeking bankruptcy protection following billions of dollars in fines and settlements from class-action lawsuits. Recent Oceanic flights plagued by disaster. Flight 343 from Washington, D.C., to Athens hijacked by terrorists, narrowly saved from disaster by commando team. Flight 815 from Sydney to Los Angeles mysteriously crashed somewhere between Australia and Hawaii, no survivors.

#20 Cyberdyne Systems Corp.

Headquarters: Sunnyvale, Calif.

Industry: Aerospace & Defense

CEO: Skynet

Est. 2007 sales: $5.5 billion

Analysts remain puzzled by bizarre business strategy adopted by defense contractor Cyberdyne after it was taken over several years ago by Skynet, a distributed artificial intelligence. In move not covered in any M.B.A. class, Skynet seems to be directing company resources to killing off its customers, all of humanity, in a project code-named "Judgment Day." Revenue implications thought to be dire if initiative succeeds.

#21 d'Anconia Copper

Headquarters: New York, N.Y.

Industry: Materials

CEO: Franciso d'Anconia

Est. 2007 sales: $5.0 billion

D'Anconia prospering mightily over last decade after CEO and owner Francisco d'Anconia shed his youthful idealism, playboy ways and lined up at the public trough like all his competitors. D'Anconcia still owns world's largest copper mine, but has diversified into agribusiness and is now heavily dependent on ethanol, cotton subsidies. Reportedly spends more money lobbying than R.J. Reynolds and the AARP combined.

#22 Gringotts

Headquarters: London, England

Industry: Financial Services

CEO: Borgnuk

Est. 2007 sales: $4.4 billion

Reputation of Goblin bank left in tatters after successful break-in and burglary from one of its most highly secured vaults. Revelations that the theft was masterminded by Harry Potter (a.k.a. "The Boy Who Lived") fail to reassure customers concerned that the bank's much-ballyhooed security was compromised by mere children.

#23 Oscorp

Headquarters: New York, N.Y.

Industry: Aerospace & Defense

CEO: Norman Osborne

Est. 2007 sales: $3.1 billion

Rocky year for manufacturer of high-tech weaponry; lost high-profile Department of Defense grant for human performance drug research to competitor Quest Aerospace; lead researcher Dr. Stromm found murdered in lab. Board of directors said to have lost confidence in CEO Osborne; considering outright sale of company. Osborne promises to punish his enemies, get through bad times; says, "Work is murder."

#25 Spacely Space Sprockets

Headquarters: Low Earth orbit

Industry: Capital goods

CEO: Cosmo G. Spacely

Est. 2007 sales: $1.3 billion

Perfection of "one-button" sprocket manufacturing and shipping process has vaulted this once sleepy, family-owned concern into the corporate big leagues. Cosmo Spacely's coddled employees said to only work three-hour-a-day, three-day-a-week jobs, but workers must suffer his notoriously volatile temper and endure incessant termination threats.