An
Interview With Chris(This is made up, people) By: Lee

Reporter:
I’m here with Chris Kirpatrick of *Nstynk, er, *Nsync. Now Chris, I noticed
you’re wearing your marionette outfit from the No Strings Attached
concert tour. Are you doing a concert?

Chris:
No, I just like wearing it.

Reporter:
Why is that?

Chris:
It reminds me of the old days.

Reporter:
The old days?

Chris:
Yes (sighs). Living in a tunnel of cardboard boxes, wearing clothes like this,
stealing money and lunch from kids walking to school…

Reporter:
Oh my God! Chris, I had no idea you had such a poor childhood!

Chris:
Yeah, well, I did. The rest of my family lived in a beautiful house with lots of
food.

Reporter:
Now this is getting interesting. Did you have a contagious disease? Were you in
the Witness Protection Program?

Chris:
No, they just didn’t like me.

Reporter:
Oh. Well, why?

Chris:
I dunno. Maybe ‘cuz I didn’t take showers.

Reporter:
You took baths though, right?

Chris:
(looks uncomfortable) Do I have to answer that?

Reporter:
Um…

Chris:
Well I have to go now.

Reporter:
Oh, why?

Chris:
I have to teach Justin how to use scissors, reassure JC that his nose looks
fine, tell Joey there’s a Superman marathon coming on soon, and tell Lance 10
reasons why he makes us look bad (Chris leaves the set).

Reporter:
I’m starting to think there’s no normal member of Nsync. (Shouts to the
producers) Call the BSB, will ya?