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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

As you can see I'm only posting my updates once a week. I'm now officially boring!
Being home doesn't give me much inspiration and to tell you the truth my pregnancy brain still prevents me from writing. I can't seem to formulate my ideas properly, and trust me I have lots, but whenever I try to write them down I just end up confusing myself. I just hope my brain comes back when these babies are born... what are the chances? Anyway....

I am now 36w4d! I actually made it this far and I know I'm very very lucky but I must also thank my doctor for putting me out on bed rest from early on, it really works =)
I had my regular OB appt today but I also had an u/s on Monday... my doctor was not happy that the peri would not see me weekly because of the gestational diabetes so I'm actually back to seeing both of them weekly. I'm not complaining, I love seeing the babies! I also got the flu shot and now I'm praying I don't get sick, I always get sick when I take it, but I decided to go for it because of the babies, just in case... and if I get sick then I know my theory is correct.

So far we are all doing good. The babies were not measured for growth again since it was only 4 days in between sonograms, but we did find out that they moved. Baby girl is still heads down but leaning slightly sideways to my left and baby boy is completely sideways... that piece of info combined with my internal today, which shows no dilation yet, seem to be pointing me towards a future with a c-section in it.

No ifs, ands or buts....

If I do go into labor on my own and they are not both heads down it will be a c-section. And if I make it to my scheduled date, even if they are both heads down, it seems that they wont let me try natural birth because of me being tiny and the fact that they have really good sizes so far, in 2 weeks they might be too big making it a little dangerous for them, well mostly for baby B (the boy). Its funny that they call me tiny and huge at the same time, I think even my doctor's eye was popping when she saw my belly. She is happy and surprised that I made it this far but she still thinks I'll make it to my scheduled c-section and at this point I'm starting to believe it too. Wow! October 12th, here I come...

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I'm interrupting my regular sleeping schedule to write a bit on the blog. How nice of me, right?
Growing two little people is exhausting! Did you know that? I didn't. I've been finding it very hard to keep my eyes open lately. I sleep during the day and at night and I have the nerves to be a little moody when I have to get up to eat. Its like I can't get enough rest. I never knew I could nap so much.... its a bit embarrassing really but I can't help it. Trust me, I tried.

This of course should explain my lack of comments on your blogs but its not necessarily the reason. I find it very uncomfortable to sit in the chair by the computer so I tend to follow you guys on my phone... I just can't comment. But I am reading, I promise!

Now that I'm done with my excuses, I'll move on to my doctor's appointments....

Yesterday I went to my OB and I finally had my first internal (about time!) Everything was good, my cervix is still way up in there and I'm not dilating yet. My anxiety is already much better knowing this.... Blood pressure and weight gain are also both good and the OB was happy with my progress. She said that from now on I should have no problems if I go into labor. Music to my ears!

Today I went to the Peri and the babies are also doing fine. Baby girl weighs 5lbs10oz and baby boy weighs 5lbs8oz. And, AND, AND they are both heads down! It was cute to see their little heads together, I just loved it. When I was there 3 weeks ago, I was told that after this ultrasound they would start monitoring the babies once or twice a week depending on how they are doing... WELL... no need for that, they actually will be seeing me next whenever I come in to give birth (my Peri is at the hospital). They are very happy with the babies progress. Oh, we were able to see baby girl's lungs "breathing" in there, it was so cool. We didn't get to see baby boy's but that's because they are very cramped in there. This doctor also told me that from now on everything should be fine if I go into labor, even more music to my ears! I'm so proud of my babies.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

It was yesterday.
It was good.
My blood pressure is good, all the urine testings were good, heartbeats were in range, and my weight gain is good. And that's all that they checked. No internal, like they said I would have. No worries on their end. I just have to go back next week for the same thing. That's it. Well, at least they are seeing me weekly now so I guess that's an improvement. Don't get me wrong, they are good, I just don't know how they have so much faith in my body without checking up on me more. I guess I'm just peachy.

The only news I can give is that we at least scheduled my C-section for week 38 if I don't go into labor on my own before that. October 12th is the date. At the latest, that's when I will meet my babies. And to be honest, it doesn't make me feel anything. I don't feel attached to the date in any way, my instincts tell me it will be before that but who the heck knows? All I know is that the time is coming.

Next week, 2 days shy of 36 weeks, I go see the peri to get an ultrasound and check on their growth. And that's all I have...

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Today I am 34 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
I am hoping to make it 2-3 more weeks, though how I expect to move around.... I don't know, but I'll find a way. Each step I take these days takes a lot out of me and is filled with some pain. Its alright though, nothing excruciating, I can take it!

As long as the babies are growing and doing fine, I'll do my part. Ideally, I want them to make it to at least week 36 to avoid NICU, if I go past that a C-section will be scheduled for the end of week 37 or beginning of week 38... but just in case.... my hospital bag is ready to go. The time is coming, holy crap! This week I have an appt with the OB and I think I'm getting my first internal, I'm anxious about it. I've read about so many twin moms going straight to hospital after their 33rd or 34th week internal that I can't help but hold my breath. I'm thinking I'll be fine and that I have some more time to go. I feel fine, so that's that. Now, I'll just show you some belly pics and continue my bed rest..

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

When it comes to the whole giving birth thing, I haven't actually been into having a birth plan or whatever. All I know that I'm prepared to do is just to deal with whatever comes up and trust in my Doctors. I do, however, have one tiny request... but this is for after they are born.

I'm about to sound very mean and selfish..... you are warned...

As you know complications can happen, especially with a C-section. I could bleed too much, I could react weird to medication or I could simply be completely knocked out with all the drowsiness, who knows? Everyone reacts differently and lets be honest more than likely I'll be just fine. BUT, in the event that I cannot see my babies right after....ummm, no one else is allowed to see them either...
OK, so Jeff gets to see them because he is their Dad and apparently the doctors think he has the right or something, unbelievable! I kid, I kid! I guess.. if I must... I give him permission to see/hold/kiss them and all that good stuff before me. HOWEVER, I do NOT want anyone else to even see them until I have seen them and give them their first Mommy's kiss. I will be very upset. Even though I know its selfish of me, its what I want.

I just don't want to wake up and find that I'm the last one to see them ( I know this is a dramatic sentence but just go with it), and I want their first kisses to be from Jeff and myself. Am I being unreasonable? Before you answer keep in mind that: We've been trying for a long time to become parents with a couple of miscarriages and with several failed treatments. IVF was our saviour... After many heartbreaks, injections, lots of medications, more injections, dildo cam abuse, retrieval surgery, even more injections, transfer, not being able to fully enjoy pregnancy because the fear of another loss has you trapped, ton of blood work, gestational diabetes, puking, having trouble breathing almost all day long because your heart is going way too fast, and many months of pregnancy....am I really being unreasonable in wanting to see them first?

I know I'll be holding back my family and friends if this does happen, and I know they love the babies and want to see them, but I swear I will cry if this wish is not respected. Even if they are in my post-partum room, whoever reads this please remind Jeff to tell the nurses not to bring the babies to the room unless I'm awake, thanks. I already told Jeff this, and I think he got annoyed with me but didn't say anything (bless him), he will be in Daddy-Land and probably wont remember. Everyone else, if he forgets and you go into the room and the babies are there and you know I haven't seen them... just close your eyes and run out very very quickly, oh and please don't be too mad at me :-/

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In unrelated news:

- Another twin mom just gave birth at 31 weeks, both babies are fine and are in NICU, I think they weighed 3lbs something each. I don't actually know her, she is related to one of Jeff's co-worker but I had to mention her because she was two weeks behind me and the birth of her twins is giving me some more sense of reality that this is going to be happening soon and even though I don't know her, I very much want to send her my congratulations trough cyberspace.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

First, let me tell you about me then I'll move on to the important people. My belly is getting heavier. I can hardly walk or stand for more than a few minutes at a time without my heart/breathing going insane. Well even if I'm sitting, it goes insane so I guess that shouldn't be a surprise. My gestational diabetes is in check, I'm such a good girl with this boring diet that I think I deserve to pat my own back. Go me! I'm also doing a good job with my bed rest, which is actually easy since I have no choice, I'm always always exhausted, I have no energy and I swear sleeping most of the day is still not enough.

In the past 2 days I went to my OB, the Perinatalogist/Maternal Fetal Specialists, and had my Hospital tour and all of that has me totally irritated because not only did it tire me out even more but it interfered with some of my sleeping. At the same time, they all made me very happy because things are looking good. Feeling irritated and happy at the same time is weird, don't try it.

OB...
My pressure is good. My weight is good. I'm good. So.... they will see me in 2 weeks. Umm, I'm 32 weeks now... I'm having twins... they should already be seeing me every week... but they are not.
The Maternal Fetal Specialists? They are not any better.
Well, I love them because they checked out the twins yesterday and they said every thing is great with them too. Baby girl weighed 4lbs 5oz and baby boy weighed 3lbs 15oz, he just needed one more ounce, so can I assume that today he is 4lbs? I want to think so. Either way, both are good weights. They are growing wonderfully and I'm so proud of them.

So why aren't they better than the OB? Well because at 32 weeks, when I should be seen every week, they asked me to come back in 3 weeks, umm... I'll be 35 weeks and a half.. are they crazy? The average twin birth happens at 34 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I love that they feel so confident and have soooo much faith in my body... but what about my anxiety? I mean really? They expect to do my first internal when I go back at 34 weeks at my OB's office. Seriously? I get that its a good thing, I do, but did I mention my anxiety? I think they should be checking me just to avoid me giving myself a heart attack. The aches and pains and heaviness of my belly remind me quite often that the time is coming, but they don't care.

My OB actually thought it was strange that since last month, the M.F. specialists aren't seeing me every week... she should talk.. she is not any better is she? Ok, let me stop, I'm actually glad they are all so confident because it makes me feel good about my pregnancy, still anxious but good. The only concern is that one of my waters could break before time. I'm not at risk, my fluids are good, but it can happen to anyone so I have to keep off my feet and keep taking it easy, especially considering my humongous belly and my height.

The Hospital Tour..
It went great. They showed us the different rooms, nursery, etc, etc. But they also took us to the one labor and delivery room they have specifically for twins! I can't believe I saw the actual room where they might be born in, I got a bit emotional to be honest but I'm hormonal so that's OK. This room is a big "maybe" though, its only if its going to be natural birth. Otherwise, it will obviously be a C-section in an OR... which these kids seem to want. They are both still heads up, they've actually been like that for a while now so we just have to wait and see if they decide to turn.

The 4D pics..
Both of them gave us a hard time, we pretty much just got one picture each. His was taken at 30weeks and hers was taken at 32weeks. I don't like that the pics weren't taken on the same day but apparently these kids want to show they are independent of each other already. They are not very clear but its what we got, check them out!

Us

About Me

I've been married to Jeff for 9 years now, and I'm head over heels in love with him. I couldn't ask for a better husband, richer? Yes, but not better. After working on project baby for YEARS (lots of work :D ) and 2 losses under our belts this is what I learned: infertility sucks monkey balls. BUT if you keep trying you can kick its sorry arse! We are now proud parents of Boy/Girl IVF twins =)