Monday, November 22, 2004

Planet Hollywood NYC

Times Square

It is named after the New York Times, a paper that no longer resides in the square.
After the Times moved out of Times Square, the city thought about remaining it, but than they realized it wasn't actually a square, either. So, Times Square is phony.

Being phony, it is the perfect address for a restaurant devoted to the phoniest business in the world (next to being a psychic) MOVIE MAKING.

Yes, Planet Hollywood. Devoted to the worlds of acting, special effects and props.

They also serve food.

I always like going to Planet Hollywood. The one in Time Square is one of the smallest locations and lacks the grand entrance of some of the bigger locations (like Orlando) but there is still plenty to see here.

Entering from the street, you walk into the merchandise sales shop. They have the standard souvenir stuff, T-Shirts, magnets etc. The best stuff, however, are the items featuring Mr. Hollywood, the Planet Hollywood mascot. He looks like Stevie Wonder with a globe for a head.

From the gift shop you can walk up to the restaurant.

By the stairs they have large full size photos of paparazzi. Lights flash (simulating flash bulbs) and a recording plays. The recording says things like "Hey! One more picture!" and "You look fabulous!"
As I walked up the ramp I instinctively shouted back "leave me alone, you vultures! I am just going to get something to eat! You killed Princess Diana and George Clooney!"
Then I gave them the finger went home to see if I was on Access Hollywood.

As you head into the restaurant, you see the reason people go to Planet Hollywood: REALLY AWESOME MOVIE PROPS.

Literally hundreds of props and wardrobe are scattered throughout the store. Large displays surround the tables and hang from the ceiling. It is really cool to just walk around and look at all the walls. Then, as you try to eat and strangers keep leaning over your pasta to see Vanessa William's wallet from Eraser. At that point you realize how annoying you were just moments ago as you wandered the restaurant. It's a great 'circle of life' thing.

The exhibits at Planet Hollywood rotate often, but there are many that seem to be on permanent display here in NYC. First, there is Stallone's car from Cobra. For fans of the movie (good God, I hope I am not the only one) this is a REALLY cool prop. It perches on the wall, hanging dangerously over the hostess station.

Also on hand is a great big display is a wall of movie weapons. Everything from wacky contraptions from The Mask to machine guns from Jurassic park III.

Speaking of Dinosaurs, one of the newer displays features many dinosaur props. There is a head of a Jurassic Park velocaraptor and dinosaur models from Clifford (not the Big Red Dog, the 1994 movie where Martin Short plays a 10 year old.)
Also in the case is a pair of alien hands from the 1994 film The Stupids. They are incorrectly labeled as dinosaur hands.
Perhaps they didn't think anyone would notice. Or, maybe they were just too busy trying to keep people from being crushed by Cobra's car to worry about accuracy.

On the walls video monitors play montages of scenes from Hollywood hits. For example, a montage of scenes involving motorcycles set to "Born to Be Wild." I would have liked to see a series of people eating BETTER food than Planet Hollywood serves with the "Red Lobster" jingle playing over top of them.

Actually, they do serve some good stuff. My favorite is the 'Chicken Crunch' an appetizer of chicken tenders coated with Cap'n Crunch.

They are known, however, for their signature drinks. Stuff like the Unbreakable Bloody Mary and the Home Alone smoothie. The smoothie is non-alcoholic, but hey the kid was home alone! What's to stop him from raiding the liquor cabinet?

All in all, I recommend Planet Hollywood. It is the strangest restaurant in Times Square (now that WWF New York is closed down. Plus where else can you eat dinner while looking up Supergirl's skirt?