Description

"Jayme and Sayme the creepy twin children of Baron Ragoon are back and stranger than ever. Also, Chunt is trying out some secret names for himself."

Summary

Usidore is enjoying The Great Gatsby, but he's confused by "snub-nosed motorboat." He thinks unlocking a greater understanding of Jazz Age literature may help him defeat the Dark Lord and free Foon.

Chunt has been trying out secret names of his own, and tries them out on Arnie and Usi. After voting nay on Johnny Toboggan, they enthusiastically endorse Li'l Squish. They're lukewarm about Fart Darkness. Arnie loves Li'l Squish so much he's already planning a t-shirt order.

Arnie teaches Chunt and Usidore about context clues. In other words, keep listening and try to figure it out, eh? Not asking questions is another way to learn about things. Li'l Squish has flipped through the book and skipped around a bit.

Baron Ragoon's creepy twin kids Jayme and Sayme suddenly materialize from within the walls and announce themselves. Sayme has gone through puberty and has two chest hairs. He's grown thinner and creepier, and one can follow the "raisins" through his esophagus. He's like a jellyfish…the sort you'd avoid in a waiting room. Jayme explains that Sayme's stunted development is due to undernourishment. The Twins are not fond of Hogsface and wish to return to their dark, dank castle. They love it when the Baron locks them in the attic. They're big fans of Skinny Man, but they draw the line at killing in his name.

Jayme and Sayme relate the tale of their recent benefit gala for the orphans and bastards of Shrike, Grin & Baron It. It was quite successful, except for Sayme's attempt at insult comedy. He was rewarded by the audience pelting him with garbage, fruits, and vegetables. (According to Dr. Helitzer's class, if the fruit is edible, you get marked up to a D.) Sayme is trying to evolve his art by writing mean anonymous letters and sending them through Chan the Four-Eyed Troll. Jayme and Sayme also annoy people by witnessing at them door to door about Foo, Ooo, and Oon. Sayme's favorite prank involves sneaking into the Baron's room with a ceramic doll and…y'know what, you'll be happier not knowing.

Usidore asks why so many of their pranks on the Baron occur in the middle of the night. Turns out they're not big sleepers. J&S make out with each other a bit, which is…fine…because they're technically adults. They describe one of their favorite games, Little Froggy. It involves sticky tongues. Nobody wants to play with them.

Arnie fails to keep the secret of Li'l Squish, and the Twins share their own secret names. Jayme is known as Bumblepuss. Sayme is called Nimblewidget. Usidore warns them about the great power of secret names. Arnie asks them if they have intel on the Dark Lord via the Baron. They gleefully reveal that the Baron is obsessed with a riddle, and they like to confuse him by changing words within it. They recall the original riddle and the bits they've changed. Sayme notes that when he first heard the riddle, it wasn't "orange beast" but "very small kittykat." And there was something about lasagna. And Otok…maybe?

The lads huddle and decide there will be little value in the Twins' nonsense. Maybe they'll just encourage them to sow chaos, which Usidore can then metaphorically devour. Sayme does suddenly remember the Baron muttering about extracting the memories from the Earth Person. There was also a memory extracting machine, but Sayme assumes that was a dream.

EMAILS: Travis has finished chapter two of Gatsby and finds it quite racist. He recommends the next book for the club should be Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks by Mick Foley, a kind man from Earth.

Dalton writes that If Baron Ragoon speaks true of the Dark Lord requiring more podcast listeners, he has come to the difficult decision to stop listening and supporting the show in the name of the Treevolution.