Why small town lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren'tprepared for the answer.

In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his firstwitness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her andasked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you,Mr. Williams. I've known yousince you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment tome. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk aboutthem behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't thebrains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bitpaper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned.Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do.I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted,and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship withanyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not tomention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."The defense attorney almost died! At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."