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I don't know how long you have been married but this is an important precedent. You do not attend wedding shows, baby showers, or any other maternity related affair.

If these lines have not been clearly established, my advice is to do so immediately. I guarantee you the only guys attending this kind of crap are eunuchs. These are not the kinds of guys you want to hang out with.

If she forces you to go, do something that embarrasses her, she will never ask again. Like get drunk and vomit in the new diaper bin they just opened.

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Itís all a part of the new self important, look at me world. People have been having kids for centuries without this fanfare. Celebrate when the baby is born, until then, STFU.

Also, spare us all the miracle talk. Anything two drunk teenagers can do in the backseat of a car is probably not a miracle. Itís easier than a good card trick.

If it is so easy, then why are so many men so terrible at it? Half the time you feel like you should have said goodnight at the door, opened that pint of B&J in the freezer, then burn out a couple of D-cells before going to sleep.

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If it is so easy, then why are so many men so terrible at it? Half the time you feel like you should have said goodnight at the door, opened that pint of B&J in the freezer, then burn out a couple of D-cells before going to sleep.

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Itís all a part of the new self important, look at me world. People have been having kids for centuries without this fanfare. Celebrate when the baby is born, until then, STFU.

Also, spare us all the miracle talk. Anything two drunk teenagers can do in the backseat of a car is probably not a miracle. Itís easier than a good card trick.

Speaking of which, I have never been particularly fond of magic shows. They are cute and all and can be fun, but the big deal some of these start magicians make of what is basically misdirection and mirrors. IDK, if they made something actually disappear, I'd be impressed, but we all know it is just hiding. Or really transformed a newspaper into a dove, but the dove was just hiding in his sleeve or something while he burned the newspaper.

I am alone here with this?

Now comedians are well worth the watch. No illusions in a laugh and this world needs as many as we can get. So comedians that do magic, I enjoy. Its a shame, so many don't get it these days and they want to control jokes because they might offend. Well humor doesn't come from the happy places in life, the best comedy comes tragedy and the dark places of life. Things that are real and unpalatable and best faced with humor. This is why I think funerals should be more roast than memorial; particularly if you are cremating them at the end.