To that list of terrifying, made-up creatures, add Sequester, the fire-breathing across-the-board budget cuts created by the meltdown of Washington’s ability to behave like adults, now set to roar out of the Potomac and – to hear the president and his mouthpieces tell it – devour both the needy and the American way of life in a GOP-powered rampage across the countryside, beginning this Friday.

You’re hearing a lot about Sequester these days, and because some of our top elected officials are, with a straight face, issuing the most dire possible warnings about him, you may understandably be worried.

Let me try to reassure you, although what I have to say may not, in the end, be all that reassuring.

First off, the Sequester threat is being grossly exaggerated.

It would cut a tiny percentage of the federal budget, magnified a bit by the fact we’re well into the fiscal year, but tiny nonetheless.

Half of the cuts would come out of the defense budget, which can and should be cut without crashing our homeland security or military-industrial complex.

Medicare will take a two percent cut, again, easily affordable without ugly repercussions for those who rely on it.

The tax increases the White House wants to avert this non-catastrophe? Some of them are tax-loophole-closings that even Republicans have endorsed, and there’s no reason those shouldn’t happen yesterday.

So, why is the sequester being hyped like it’s the poster boy for a creature double-feature?

Because the shallow partisans who populate Washington are doing what they do best – playing to their bases, and ideological posturing – instead of what they do worst: negotiating, compromising and governing.

Thanks ladies and gentlemen – for nothing.

You can listen to Keller At Large on WBZ News Radio every weekday at 7:55 a.m. You can also watch Jon on WBZ-TV News.