How many people are crushed by cheese? Because I'm going to guess that it's probably like 0. Riding a giant log on the other hand...

We're going to need to up our cheese rolling game, clearly. The Japanese have laid down a mighty gauntlet, and it is up to us to produce a 17 ton wheel of cheese, for that we might be chased down Cooper's Hill in epic fashion.

Where I lived in Ishikawa, they used to drunkenly carry portable shrines through the streets, set them alight, throw them off a bridge into a river and then run/jump into the river and smash them to pieces while fire rained down on them from above. It was so much fun to watch. They're strawberry floating insane.