On the bright side, there’s probably a standard HELP ME PLEASE I HAVE BEEN MAGICALLY TURNED INTO A TRANSFORMED ANIMAL universal distress sign that she can use. I mean, this can’t be the first time this has happened in a world where the Odyssey is a work of historical fiction.

She might not even need that distress sign, considering how confused Skittles was that Samantha the Cat was a regular, nonmagical, nontalking cat. Talking cats have to be a thing in a world where Bastet shows up at your art opening, right?

Interesting. She can communicate with regular animals, assuming that is a non magical bird. The question then arises, can she communicate with Skittles? He can not communicate with non magical animals, as his experience with Samantha revealed. He might not be able to help in this matter.

In addition the fact that she is a cat allows me to rule out Kitsunestuki, Tanuki, Komari or any of the common East, South East Asian, as well as Central Asian culprits. This strengthens my original focus on Europe.

No, Ella. You are supposed to either swat spiders with news papers, kick puppies off of tables, eat other people’s lunches, or sleep all day. Any deviation will incur the wrath of St. Jim Davis. Also, ACK is supposed to be used by a career woman with a different set of repetitive issues.

An expression concerning sleeping dogs and how best to deal with them comes to mind, but as your attackers last week committed the sin of obtuseness, I see no reason to chide you directly for a self inflicted wound. You however committed the sin of profound crassness, and now seek to commit the logical inversion of innocence by association. Quit the game before you need hip boots.