Finally! A Step-By-Step Guide to Improving His Oral Game

Let's face it. Some guys just know how to go down on you. Maybe they're born with it, or maybe they had a girlfriend who selflessly (ha!) took it upon herself to carefully instruct him in this worthy endeavor. And then there are the others—those who insist on circles with their tongue (don't even get me started on the alphabet move), or those who use their mouths like a Dyson. Well, I believe it's time to pass the torch, my friends, and teach those who haven't yet learned the art of cunnilingus— for the good of the country, womankind, and that pesky, elusive female orgasm. We spoke to Ian Kerner, Ph.D., the author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman to get the lowdown on going down. Here are some of his tips on how to be a good teacher. Plus, he's a guy so you know he has the inside scoop!

*According to the doc, "You have to know what feels good before you can be able to let him know." And in order to know what feels good, you need to figure it out for yourself first. Do you like fast, rhythmic, repetitive motions or gentle teasing? Do you get more excited by pressure on your clitoris or do you prefer penetration? A few nights of one-on-one time with your favorite toy should give you all the information you need. *Use Your Words

"Men need specifics, like the pace of stimulation and intensity of pressure," says Dr. Kerner. Let him know if he's going too fast with a breathy, "Slow down." Or if you like what he's doing, ask for more. You can count on the fact that he wants you to come, which is why, according to our expert, "Most men get overwhelmed and make a stampede for the clit."

Give Positive Feedback

"Women should get in the habit of communicating more," says Dr. Kerner. "Let him know by telling him what you like." Moan and groan when he hits that toe-curling spot. Start your sentences with "I love it when you…" or "You're so good at…" Compliments go a long way in the bedroom. Trust.

Show Him Around

Grab his hand and give him the guided tour. It could be that he isn't sure where your clitoris is (you can wipe that look of shock off your face now). "Take his hand and use his fingers to show him how hard or soft you like it," suggests Dr. Kerner. Use your own hand to pull up the skin around the top of your vagina and show him the spot just above your clitoris that's extra especially sensitive.

Use Your Body Language

Ask him to stay still and move your body against his mouth. This way you can control the friction and motion and he can tell what really gets you going. Also try arching your back and guiding his head with your hand. "Think of it as a dance, except this time you lead," advises the doctor.

Let Him In On the Fantasy

Tell him about a sexy daydream you had at work/in the supermarket/in your car that involved him going down on you. And get specific. For example, "I had the most amazing fantasy where you hiked up my skirt and started kissing my thighs, ever slowly making your way up to my underwear…" Not only will it make him hot just hearing you talk dirty, but it will also give him plenty of material to work with!

Have you ever tried to teach a guy to give you better oral sex? Did it work? How did he respond? What are your favorite oral sex tips?