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Thursday, December 04, 2014

Facebook status updates part XXIX (Nov 2014)

A character just explained his theory
that magicians are afraid of the Internet because YouTube is more
magical than magicians could ever hope to be.

Results of this mornings moment of
research:

'Knowledgeable sources who believe
Dog-Wee Death is real say it goes down in several different ways'

The surreal moment in writing in which
one character explains the concept of a One True Pairing to another
and uses, as the most obvious example he can think of that, there
there is an OTP about which ghost (Past, Present or Future) Scrooge
sleeps with during a Christmas Carol.

... I refuse to check the internet and
find out if this actually exists.

Good writing moments: the point where
you figure something out, realize it seems a bit of a cheat/cop out
and then realize why it's not because of other stuff you've set up in
the story.

Always nice to realize your
subconsciousness was way ahead of you.

Always fun when you come up with
something nicely stupid only to find people think there should
seriously be a reverse microwave that cools things...

You know your novel is getting odd when
you find yourself seriously pondering the socioeconomic status of the
hardy boys.

Hot Yoga, he discovered, was not the
best name for a superhero with flame-based powers.

It took weeks to get the discount card
from the store; you have anecdotal evidence they probably checked out
your dreams, interviewed your friends and tried to make certain you
we're the kind of customer they wanted to return before issuing it.

From WIP:

"Mom keeps pressing the cook to be
all organic this, natural that, meals based on fad diet plans and
stuff she reads in magazines. I think the one she’s currently
focused on is called the Jurassic Diet, where you only eat what
dinosaurs ate or something like that."

Once upon a time there lived a king who
thought himself wise and studied all the arts of psychology to better
understand the mind of the queen he would eventually marry; they
aided him not in the end.

Brother (after knocking on door): "I
made steak."

Me: "Writing NaNoWriMo."

Him: "... steak."

Me: "Leftover pizza. Also,
writing. Bye."

Sometimes, just sometimes, I post
things in the hope that you never read them.

"Grind your enemies. See them
cower before you. Hear the lamentations of their stockholders."

- Starbuck, god of Fishies

Me: brain is far past fried. Trying to
do 2 weeks of work in a day at work is unfun

Me: The manager had to murder me
(twice) to take lunch.

Me: .... uh. I meant to type inform.
Not murder.

From WIP:

“I’ve never been in a cab and had
the driver compare the towel boys of baseball teams as part of an
analysis of the teams performance before."

Braintired

‪#‎onewordstory‬

"You must defeat the Dark Lord and
prevent him from summoning up an army from the Pits of the Nether
Abyss before the night of the dark moon. If you fail in this not only
will his army ravage the world but all our homes will be devalued."

From WIP:

The kraken is floating in the toilet of
the men’s bathroom, its body visible in the water in the way
chemtrails are in the air. Small tentacles undulate into the air like
a group of octopuses doing the wave. Two beer isn’t near enough to
deal with this.

They named her Sorrow

Even when she tried to bring joy

Not understanding her own failures

At every report card

At every teacher meeting

At every note she brought home

At every time she failed the simple
world.

(Her parents drank.) (Before and
after.)

They named her Sorrow and explained

Not a single thing at all

As if bottles would explain truth

As if hate wasn’t birthed in shame

As though all their faults in silence

Could tell Sorrow what joy was.

Our love is like Lego pieces

Puncturing our feet

From WIP:

You ever get to that point where you
don’t love someone enough to leave them?

It is often too easy to mistake the
desire for vengeance with that of justice.

I know we said we loved each other

But I don’t think either of us read

each others Terms of Service and

our agreement was clicking yes

So you don’t get to be mad about

Where I installed those webcams

‪#‎AllTweetsMatter‬

From WIP:

“There are few things more terrible
than knowing you can do anything to someone and they will forgive you
for it,” Charlie whispered. “I think I’m starting to understand
better why the magician couldn’t stay with us. Unconditional love
is one thing, but forgiveness? That is too much, too much to bear by
far. And Jay may never understand how deeply he destroys us with
that.”

We replaced the word love with ebola

And improved every poem in the book

After the world ended, the only things
left behind were lawyers with no one left to sue.

"I can’t tell you the truth.
Mommy said I’d get into trouble if I make you cry again, but
mirrors never break when beautiful people look into them."

A collection of miscellany

Condoms will break, but I can assure you that vows of abstinence will break more easily than condoms.

- Dr. Joycelyn Elders

In fantasy, impossible things exist. In science fiction, impossible things exist and can be understood by humans. In supernatural horror, impossible things exist and cannot live in peace with humans.

- Will Shetterly

We are living in a time when you can believe anything, as long as you do not claim it to be true.

- Ravi Zacharia

Religion teaches the dangerous nonsense that death is not the end.

- Richard Dawkins

In the time of harmony the golden age is not in the past, it is in the future

- Paul Signac

"No" is the wildest word in the English language.

- Emily Dickinson

The middle ground between genuinely true and outright faking is unconscious delusion.

- Dean Radin

“You have to surrender to your mediocrity, and just write. Because it’s hard, really hard, to write even a crappy book. But it’s better to write a book that kind of sucks rather than no book at all, as you wait around to magically become Faulkner. No one is going to write your book for you and you can’t write anybody’s book but your own.”