Washington (IWR Satire) -
Disgusted with the
news
of the first cloned human being,
President Bush today declared war on the
Raelian Empire. "The Raelians hate
us cause of our freedoms, and we hate them because they are evil. 'nuff
said", Bush told reporters.

A spokesperson for the Raelian empire,
Field Marshall Gorner, said he looked forward to fighting Mr. Bush.
"The Raelian Death Ray will boil your tiny brains earthlings," said
Mr. Gorner as he broke out into a diabolical laughter in a message
broadcast around the world.

John Ashcroft then released this wanted poster (right) for enemy
combatant Sidney "Vicious" Bonet, who was last seen in Windsor, Canada
handing out cloned navel oranges in front of the Studio 4 strip club.