It's never too soon to talk to your kids about drinking. A family eating at a Detroit-area…
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Davis' mother says she ordered a chocolate milkshake for her daughter. Brooklyn took four sips of it before she said it tasted funny. Apparently the waitress had served the child a "Mudslide," a chocolate milkshake-like beverage preferred by the types of cougars who pick up young men in striped "going out" shirts at TGI Fridays when their kids are spending the weekend at their father's house. Brooklyn's mother immediately called the cops and took her wasted little girl to the emergency room.

Now that this has happened on three separate occasions at three different locations, it is clear that if you go to a chain restaurant with a child under five, he/she will undoubtedly be served a Sex on the Beach, a Fuzzy Navel, or some other cocktail that wrinkly white women drink while wearing bathing suits. Maybe you should stick to McDonald's? Your kids will get fat, but at least they'll be sober!

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And while it's awful that hapless waitresses are turning the next generation of Americans into wanton drunkards before they're even in kindergarten, the real atrocity is the outfit this reporter is wearing. Did she really need both the pilgrim hat and the chunky scarf? What is she? Drunk? [WGNTV]