Nightmare

Nightmare

Some nights, I would wake up drenched in
sweat, hands desperately grabbing the bed sheets. I wouldn't know where I was, my mind too focused
on the nightmare that plagued me just moments before. I would stare at the
ceiling, desperately gasping for air. This one was not unlike the others.

It was just a dream.

I repeated this mantra in my mind as I
took steady breaths. The calming technique I had learnt slowed my ragging breathing and I
could think clearly once again. It is just a job, I know this. If I don't do
it, someone will.
Masyaf is the stronghold of two hundred assassins, one will accept the mission.
What's the difference then? It's not like I would save lives by saying no. The Old
Man of the Mountain will just have to find another assassin willing to end the
life of the man marked for death. Their screams don't bother me; I have gotten used to
them. My eyes are always cold, not letting their pain flow through me, make me
regret my decisions. I have been doing it since I was fifteen, and never has my
victim’s pain visited me in my dreams. I have never regretted anything. But, I
still see them. I feel nothing toward them. I just see them. There was a time I
could sleep peacefully, but not anymore, not since I killed that man in front
of his little son. Back then, I still hadn't learned how to control my
feelings. I was still young and inexperienced; the death of his father reminded
me of my own, how I lost him without saying goodbye.

Even now, five years later with my
emotions under control, I still see the look on the boy’s face as my blade
sliced into the man’s chest.

Getting out of my bed, I move to the
open veranda. I stood there, letting the cold breeze wash out my thoughts.

Sometimes, I would wake up to the
feel of blood on my hands. Blood would be everywhere, so cold, and at the same
time warm. I know the smell of burnt flesh, and the sound a knife makes as it
slices into flesh. I know how their eyes stare at me as they realize who I am. Sometimes
it's worse when they are unfazed, when they know I am coming, when they know their fate.
They look so broken, like there is nothing more to live for. Do they believe in
Heaven? Hell? When I end their lives on this world, do they believe they are
going somewhere better; or worse?

I close my eyes.

These are the questions, I ask myself
every time I woke up to the sound of my victims screams. Like every time before, I cannot find an
answer. Sometimes, I wonder how it would
feel to die, to be on the receiving end of someone's blade. How would it feel,
when a blade slid into my chest? Would I be afraid? Angry? Would I scream? Cry?
Would I feel the blood flow out of my wound, or would I be too shocked to even
notice?

No, I wouldn't. I'm an assassin and
I'm trained not to feel fear. I would be unfazed; and I would die a proud death
like many assassins before me, and those that will come after me.

Did it even matter? I have killed so many
already, that I don’t care
anymore. I will die someday. Will it be a failed assassination attempt, a
disease, or merely of old age?

When I go to my final sleep, will I
be at peace with myself? Will I have a family? Will I have somebody that will
love me, regardless of my past?

Only time could tell.

Opening my eyes, I stare into the
distance. In front of me rivers winding their way into the mountains like veins
underneath fragile skin. The sun started waking up, making peaceful trails of
light on the mountains, green fields below, and clusters of settlements.

Every assassin, when he joins our
cause, is sent to a paradise. A place full of beautiful women ,and landscapes,
where wine flows in rivers. A place without war and death. A place where only
peace and serenity could exist. And then, when he realizes he could stay there
forever, without a care in the word, he is brought back, to the real world. A
world full of war and bloodshed, fear and pain. But, with the promise of return
if he pledges
his life to the Assassin's Order.

I move to the stone staircase, which
leads me to a vast garden. The garden is massive and looks like that of an
European nobleman, boasting a plethora of different trees, plants and foliage.
There are flowers in so many shapes and colors, which are not naturally found
in Syria. They were delivered to Masyaf by many travelers who came and left the
village. Despite all the beauty of the various plants that reside in the garden,
the crowning glory of the garden is the cascade that lies on the farthest end of it.
A crystal blue lake sits in front of it, reflecting the golden rays of the sun
in a grand display.

I move to sit on a stone bench that
overlooks the castle and the river that lies below it. It's perfectly quiet,
except the sound of waves crashing onto the stone walls.

I spend years traveling from village
to village, from one city to the other, from region to region, every one more
beautiful that the other in it's unique way. I completed every mission Sinan
gave me without protest, all in hope of seeing Paradise again.

Now, whilst I sit here and gaze upon the citadel
which loomed darkly in front of me, as if it had been hewn from the very
limestone itself. I realize that I have been blind the whole time. I have seen
more than most
men my age and seen more bloodshed than any ordinary man could in his whole
lifetime. I realize that the Paradise I spent years searching for was in front
my eyes the whole time, I was just too blind in my want to find it to actually
see it.

Paradise was not some far off place I
had once visited that provided the inspiration to keep killing. It was the home
that I had grown up in. It was the one place that I felt safe, protected by its
tall, stone walls. It was the imposing castle of many turrets surrounded by
shimmering rivers. It was the buildings and markets of the sprawling village
below, the miles and miles of craggy terrain and flowing rivers.

Masyaf.

An oasis of peace.

A paradise.

Write a Review
Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks,
AnniePad

Janaki Sundararaman:
The frame of the story has a beautiful structure on which the narration is spun with twists and turns tolook forward with lots of expectations about the coming chapters.There are many characters in the story line,all woven into intricate style to speak the story in its own way.The protagonist is ...

ernbelle:
When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...

M.L. Bull:
Hello, Aalia!Your story compelled the emotional pain and struggle of a teenage girl very well.. The imagery was also convincing and well-written, showing the different personalities of your characters and their actions. However, I do think that many of your sentences are too lengthy and could use...

LesAnne:
The blurb alone got me hooked. The story is intriguing and evocative. Despite the few typos, the writing style is effective and unique. Though I disliked stories that jump back and forth, this one I didn't mind. I even found myself looking forward to those 'moments'. I like Grace, her character ...

aeratheninja:
Interestingly enough, this story touches on different psychological states and was very informing, on top of being a solid story. Although somewhat predictable, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this; I could feel the fear and the frustration of the characters, and was happy when they were happy.Even ...

Noelle Anselmo:
Jesus H Christ! When I saw this was a genderbent I though it was just gonna be the two main characters, but I was so wrong and I LOVED IT! I had no clue where you were going with it, and I was waiting for the make up, was dreading the possibility of not making up, and just how you had the story u...

dd1226:
I love reading about other countries and I think this story about Cambodia after Polpot creates awareness of the tragedy that happened there and the actions of the U.N. to hold elections. The heroine of the story is easy to relate to, a modern, middleaged woman looking for an adventure, wanting t...

Sonya YuntHatton:
Are you going to be posting the rest? I read this when originally posted on Fanfiction. LOVE IT!!! Was so glad when it came our as an original book!! And now the MOVIE!!! Holy Mary I am so excited.....But I'm going to HATE, HATE, HATE the wait for part 2. Please let me know if and when you're goi...

Jessie:
I wrote a review on fanfiction but I thought it would be fitting to write on on here too :) This story was honestly stunning. I am a budding writer myself and to read this- to FEEL this- reminded me of why I am honoured to have this passion and drive for a craft that is just so raw and beautiful.

LouiseJ2:
I enjoyed the detail you went into with regards to the case. It made the UNSUB appear believable. The crisis in the middle of the story was my favorite part, very dramatic but not over the top. I feel like sometimes pairings can be overdone but I liked that some of the relationships were a little...