This is a blog about getting an abortion. I, the author, am pro-choice, a proud atheist, and am a bit of a biology nerd. This blog is for women and girls who need a chance to hear from someone about what its really like, and something I need to help me through this sort of scary experience that lots of women go through, but few talk about. I cannot claim that anyone else's experience will be like mine, but hey... at least now we can start comparing notes. Email: abortionblogger at gmail.

Finding stuff

Hey! Thanks for checking out my blog. I had my abortion in Dec 2008, so you can find most of the posts about the nitty gritty by clicking on "2008" in the blog archives, and checking out things from there.

Monday, December 8, 2008

How it all went...

After I rinsed down the buccal meds, I started to feel uncomfortable within a few minutes.

I pooped, felt nauseous, my head hurt a little and I started to get crampy. The worst part about it was that any time I started to feel something uncomfortable or painful, I thought to myself "this is only going to get worse, and last for many hours." That wasnt actually the case, and if I had realized how short the worst of it would be, it probably wouldn't have made me as stressed out.

I felt very weak, like I wasnt going to be able to stay sitting on the toilet if I needed to. This may have been the anti-nausea meds making me drowsy, but I'm not sure. The cramps got worse- they were pretty bad. I went to my room and curled up in a ball, and asked my boyfriend to get me ibuprofen. I took 4 of them.

About 5 minutes later I went to the bathroom sat on the toilet, and then pretty unexpectedly puked into the bath tub in front of me. I immediately felt much better, and was glad I puked for about 2 minutes...

And then I realized I may have just puked up the abortion pill too soon and stopped the process. I started to panic. My cramps were decreasing... I was only bleeding a tiny bit... my head felt ok. It had only been 15-20 minutes after I had washed down the meds with water. Clearly, I had just messed up. I thought to myself "I might have pooped too soon after the anti-nausea meds (it had been an hour, and the thing said it was ok to poop after an hour, but maybe it wasnt enough time) which must have made me pukey."

So I made my boyfriend call the pharmacy. The pharmacist told him it was probably fine because buccal meds are absorbed in the mouth more than the stomach, which did not comfort me much at all because they really hadnt dissolved as much as I expected in that 30 minutes, and I had swallowed some pretty big pieces. She said we needed to call the doctor to find out what to do.

So we called the emergency number that planned parenthood gave us. They took down our number, and said a nurse would call us back. She did within a few minutes, and when I started to talk to her I started crying. Not because something hurt, I was just really really stressed out and worried I had done everything wrong. I told her about the puking, and the ibuprofen and she was very comforting and told me it was fine because I had held the meds down for more than 15 minutes. She said I puked because of the ibuprofen, and that I shouldnt take more than 3 at a time, and have them with food. She told me to stay away from alcohol, caffeine, junk food etc and to eat something really easy on the stomach like soup, or toast. She was very nice, and made sure all of my questions were answered before we got off the phone.

After I hung up, and thought a little about food I realized I was absolutely starving. My boyfriend made me a tuna melt, and I scarfed it down and asked him to make me more, which I also scarfed down. I still felt crampy, but it wasnt as bad as it was during the first 15 minutes. The nurse had told me the bleeding would get worse, and for whatever reason I took that to also mean that everything would get worse. It didn't. I continued to feel weak/drowsy for the rest of the night, and still had cramps when I fell asleep but nothing too terrible. I didn't take any more pain meds because I didnt really need them at that point (the hot pad was enough), and ended up not really needing them. I felt a little bloated, and wished I had thought to buy midol. I watched zombie movies in bed, and everyonce in a while I would realize I was about to bleed a lot and go to the bathroom and bleed a lot. It wasnt really terribly uncomfortable. I knew when the pregnancy came out, and caught it in my hand so I could look at it (I know, that's a little gross, but I was curious). It was like a tiny red jelly fish, slightly bigger than a quarter. It looked like a sac, and I could see little veins on it. I think what I could actually see was the yolk sac, or at least that was what seemed destinguishable without a microscope.

This is what an embryo looks like at 4-5 weeks (probably close to where I was):

Compare to actual sea monkey:

Sorry I didnt take a picture of my little thinga-mahoojit, it was sort of interesting. I'm also sorry I didnt have a microscope so I could look at it up close and see if I could distinguish the yolk sac from anything else. I also wish I could have donated it to stem cell research or something.

As expected, the bleeding got lighter after that. The cramps didnt change much, but when I woke up this morning I was cramp free for the most part. I've had a few cramps here and there (yup! There's one now), approximately the same as in the previous week, perhaps a little more frequent. It's like I'm having a heavy period, except I have to use pads because I'm not allowed to put things in my vagina.

I forgot to start my antibiotics this morning and I forgot to take extra pads with me to work. So I guess I'm going home for lunch.

11 comments:

this is an amazing blog, and a great post! i have counseled and educated people about abortion (among other things) for about 2 years now and it's tricky to strike a good balance between "the 'abortion pill' is NOT a piece of cake" and "but it is not going to kill you". especially when individuals' experiences with it vary SO much. so, thanks!

i had a spontaneous miscarriage a few years ago (at about 9-10wks) and could tell when i passed the fetus. i also tried to catch it... just to see... but it slipped out of my hand and into the toilet. i couldn't bring myself to fish it out with all the other blood and muck in there.

I was right there with you sister. One year ago today. I've not been able to properly give this the read that is needed since I have a toddler running around but I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog. I plan to return later on today.

I applaud your bravery. I've only recently "come out" to readers on my blog that my miscarriage was an abortion and well, it's been hard.

I'm hoping the next year is easier than the last one has been. I'm sure I'll comment more later.

I thought I was wierd for catching the tissue and looking at it too. The lady at the clinic told me it would be useless trying to look because I would never find it because its so small. She was right.

I'm so grateful for finding your blog. I'm 7 weeks along and have opted for pill to end the pregnancy. I took the first pill yesterday and am a little nervous about what to expect after taking the next group of pills. Your posts have been informative, real and very helpful. I have been searching the web for info on what to expect from woman who have lived through the experience. I haven't been able to find much til I stumbled upon your blog.

This is something I wish I wasn't going through but continuing with the pregnancy would be a mistake given my situation. Thank you for all the posts. Reading about your experience has helped calm my nerves some.

I am in the mist of "the pill". I took the first one in the doctor's office yesterday, then the 400 mg of the second one under my tongue at 5 pm. By 6:15 cramping, bleeding started. At 7 pm, the lump of material came out. I did not look too much. Just a lil but couldn't see anything and did not want to touch it. I'm bleeding a lot but I'm sure to eat and drink plenty of water. I think food and water (lots) are some key things. I drink 101 ounces (a gallon) every day. Other than that, heating pad! :). So I'll come back to say what happens throughout the week.

I am currently going through this process, taking the first pill tomorrow and the second on Thursday. I am definitely freaked out, maybe even more about the emotional ramifications, but reading your posts and experience have been helpful in calming me down and letting me know what to expect. Thank you for this resource.