A substantial crisis

So for the past few days I’ve had somewhat of a substantial crisis. Some of you may agree, and some of you may not. Meh. Anyway, so I’ve had these two essays due for sociology and anthropology. Both of which, were due on the same day, I think exactly two weeks ago! And basically, the protocol for late assessments (well my understanding) is that you can only hand them in with the normal penalty, before the date they’re handed back to everyone else. I think I’m actually so stupid, or so weary over study things right now… But anyway, a few nights ago I was thinking to myself, holy shit, it’s actually been almost two weeks now and that means minus twenty marks for me!

And knowing this, it’s pretty draining. By this time, I find it impossible for me to actually achieve a pass, which means I will fail. Psychology is an example of this. But if I look at my anthropology assignment one, I got a high credit, so I could possible still have a chance of passing that unit. But whatever.

Anyway, last night I checked my uni email and there was one from my lecturer. It basically stated some facts about the course, upcoming things like exams. But one in particularly, became the bane of my existence. The sociology essay was being handed back on Thursday. You know what that means. I quote, the “hard deadline” is tomorrow. Which in present terms, is today. I was like holy shit, my life.

To be honest at that point, I didn’t realise the extremity of my position and what actual implications it meant for my future. But after deliberating with my friends at 4:30pm today, 5.5 hours before it was due, I realised it meant I would automatically fail the unit, if I didn’t hand it in. Which means I’d either have to take five units in a semester which is 16 hours for me, or do an extra year/semester. No way. So the email from my lecturer said, so nicely, “If you don’t think you can meet the deadline, email me and we can discuss a solution.” Even though it was a gentle and kind leeway, I was still afraid to email him.

I mean, I see my lecturer as a distant figure, a tiny person at the bottom of the hall, chattering away. Kind of like a celebrity. I don’t talk to them. Even when they look at you, how can you know if they’re looking at you. You don’t smile at them when they look at you in a lecture, you just continue to listen intently and maybe stare back at them. I find the relationship to be much like a famous musician at a concert, and I, a tiny speck in the crowd. A tutor is more relatable and approachable. I mean, for sociology, my lecturer has this thing after a lecture where he shouts students coffees a Taste. I’ve never gone. Don’t really plan on going. But kind of sad that I’ve never gone, seeing as I don’t plan on doing sociology next semester.

You know what, I was so set on doing psychology into senior years, even though I flunked out and it was really hard, I still found it so interesting. But now I find out you have to do some entire big thing on statistics, and maybe neuroscience. This could be the death of me! I know if I put the time and effort in, I can do it, but… No! I can’t think like that! Next semester, it’s all in, all brains! Your brain is a muscle and it needs to be trained, otherwise it turns to moosh!! True stuff.

Back to the essay. Anyway, I ended up emailing him with the help of my friends guiding me with what to say. And he replied to me saying that I can do a substitute assignment, even though it’s completely different. Fine with me!! So yeah, pretty ecstatic!

I think the whole point of this post was to say, that this was really and extremely bad, I thought I’d have ages to do the essay before the hard deadline, but turns out I didn’t. I was even more fucked than I have ever been. More fucked that handing in an assignment so late the penalty marks end up failing it. I mean, this would have meant I’d automatically fail the entire course. So I’m glad.

Except now, I was kind of really chirpy when I was starting this post. But now I realise, I can’t be. This is only the beginning. I’ve still got to do my entire anth essay before Monday morning. I’ve got two things on this weekend so I’ve got to work hard.

Another thing. I was planning to go to both my tutes today (since I had a presentation in one and missed my limit for the other) and then going home straight after to finish the essay and hand it in before 10pm. But I got a text from my friend asking me if I was going to my lecture. How convenient. I hadn’t decided yet, but that made my decision all the more easy. No I wasn’t. So I hung out with her, and my other friend came from the lecture we were supposed to be in. She also does sociology, and she was the one who said, I have to email him! So if I hadn’t decided to be a bad student and not go home and do the essay, I wouldn’t of had an important discussion with my friend that would have allowed me to not fail the unit! I mean realistically, I highly doubt I would’ve been able to finish a really crappy essay anyway. So what’s the moral of this story? What is the lesson? It seems that being bad has rewarded me… (Oooo philosophical).

Anyway, I should do my anth essay now. I’m actually at my local library right now! Haven’t been here since the HSC. It’s kind of weird. So many HSC students, I feel out of place. Wish I had my anth reader with me… I’ll figure something out. Or I’ll do my SONA stuff. I signed up for some study about medicine, it’s online, it’s 2 hours long and fucking the most boring shit ever… So I guess I’ll do more of that.