Pro Party Tips: Dude Etiquette

Gentlemen, the below tips on how not to behave at a party may seem kind of obvious...

...but then why did everyone refer to you as “the drunk guy in the corner” at the last party? Chasing fun is all well and good, but there’s a fine line between having a blast and having “too much fun” (aka getting banned from future events). Here are a few cocktail party etiquette tips that will keep you on the invite list, not to mention the center of attention at whatever shindig you happen to attend.

DO NOT:

1. Overconsume

The No. 1 sin you can commit? Drinking too much too quickly. This leads to all of the other sins that get you blacklisted: jumping in the pool with your clothes on, knocking over that really expensive piece of art or being a little too friendly with the hostess, whose spouse happens to be in the other room (all that arm touching: inappropriate!). To keep things under control, watch both your rate of consumption and what you’re drinking. For long parties, stick with lower-proof drinks such as light beer or sparkling wine. If cocktails are served, have one or two and then switch to something weaker before you start trying to swing from the chandelier above the dining room table. (Note: You’re too heavy—don’t go there.)

2. Lurk

What’s pretty much the most unattractive thing you can do during a mingle session? Yep, lurking around the room and standing just outside of a conversation won’t make you any friends. If you’re with a new group of people, feeling at ease may be a little bit of a challenge. Instead of waiting in the corner for someone to come over and talk to you, remember one thing: You’re at a party! Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation in a friendly, natural way. It can even be about the weather—just something to get the ball rolling. If you don’t hit if off, just grab another drink and try to chat it up with someone else.

3. Be buried in your smartphone

Dude, put that phone away and give your thumbs a rest! All your followers on Twitter and Facebook might really want to hear updates about your every movement, but the people you actually encounter when out and actually being social? Not so much. There’s a time and a place for checking your email and sending out updates, and a party is not one of them. Oh, and if you think sneaking away to the bathroom and whipping out the phone is a good idea, well, don’t say we didn’t warn you when you have to fish it out of a toilet.

4. Get all “up in there” on the dance floor

Unless you’re at a frat party or on an episode of Jersey Shore, grinding on the dance floor is more likely to get you maced than make you friends. Learning how to get your groove on without doing the touchy-feely thing is highly advisable if you’re over the age of 19.

5. Leave too early or stay too late

If you follow all of the above tips about how to chill out at a party, you’ll be king! But…party kings are deposed way quickly, so you don’t want to overstay your welcome. In the same vein, you won’t have time to attain the crown if you’re distracted and leave before it’s time. Work the room, attain glory and bow out gracefully. Your now-adoring subjects will eagerly await for your next return. Cheers!