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Yes, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is cheesy. Yes, it’s totally a throwback to the 1960s, not just in content but in style. Yes, it’s predictable and unrealistic. And yes, if you like spy movies, you should totally go see it. Not because it’s artful, but because it’s fun–as was the 60s TV series from which it hails. If you want a movie with style, action and a bit of comedy, […]

The Emmy’s have long been the strange, slightly gangly, socially awkward cousin in the award show family. They don’t really matter. They’re there. They’re at the table. They’re frequently seen around at family functions. But most people don’t like them. They’re certainly not the Oscars. The pride and joy of the family. The accomplished and good looking favorite child. They’re not even the Golden Globes, the stocky, slightly less accomplished […]

A few months ago news broke that almost all of the Star Wars Extended Universe material was going to be discarded by the now Disney owned Lucasfilm. Yes, that’s right. Yes, Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command are now out of continuity. Along with countless other video games, novels, and comics. Disney has decided that only the six feature films, and the cartoons will be […]

Reboots, rehashes, relaunches, and remakes are a dime a dozen these days. They’re everywhere. Every major studio is attempting to grab another piece of whatever franchise you loved as a younger human. Sometimes these remakes are good, sometimes they’re bad, and sometimes they’re VERY BAD. In the case of Mad Max there have been rumors and failed stop and start attempts at breathing new life into the franchise for years […]

Ridley Scott has been the reigning overlord of the movie industry for almost thirty years. He’s been haled as a visionary director and one of the last true auteurs in western cinema. He’s created some of the most important films of this century. He’s an uncompromising man with an uncompromising view on narrative. And now… he’s old. Ridley Scott is so very, very old. Ridley Scott has officially stepped over […]

Dr Who fans have been waiting for a long time to see some real footage from the new series. Well, now they have it. Dr Who series 8, starring Peter Capaldi, is about to be released on the world and this trailer showcases just how awe inspiring it is going to be. The tone of the next series of the long running Who franchise appears to be slightly darker than […]

The New TMNT Movie Still Looks Awful

Michael Bay’s big screen reboot for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is making its way to the big screen. It’s got a huge budget, snappy dialogue, and a cast of pretty humans running around doing pretty human things.

You know what it doesn’t have? Humanity. Quality. A basic understanding of what the fans want to see in a TMNT movie.

Oh, and dudes in suits. Although that might just be me, not the wider fan base. I really, really like practical suits.

So, you’ve watched the trailer now. So we can talk about it a little bit. How awful are the Turtles designs? I know this has been well covered…. pretty much everywhere. But they’re really bad.

The biggest thing that this trailer gives away plot wise is that Shredder is a samurai-robot. Because that’s what you want to see right? A huge robot samurai? I mean, maybe you do. I don’t know. But it’s definitely not what I want. I got enough of that in The Wolverine, thank you very much. I want an awesome evil mastermind who is a badass cult leader who dresses like a samurai. I want the dude to be actually asian, which he’s not in this movie obviously.

The tone isn’t that far off. The writing could work in a good TMNT movie, but the visual landslide of VFX and CG creatures is just too much. There’s no restraint. There’s not a real sense of dynamism to the footage because none of the things flying/punching/kicking are real.

But that’s a qualm I’ve had for a while with the current crop of big budget films.

Long story short, TMNT looks mas no bueno. For a myriad of reasons.

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About the Author

Dave Baker, originally from the drug-infested wasteland that is Arizona, lives in Los Angeles. He has a degree in Visual Communications with an emphasis in Illustration. Logically, he makes a living as a writer. Dave has written comic books and the moving pictures. Dave also enjoys talking about himself in the third person, not cooking, and taking long walks around his apartment.
If you'd like to read more of his writing or comics they can be found at http://theactionhospital.com