A blog written in the dead of night and delivered to you in a brown paper bag. It’s a cornucopia of tidbits, rants, and observations for the discerning eye. Good luck with all that. Now, for something completely different!

Defense officials who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Defense Secretary Robert Gates asked Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Michael Moseley and Air Force Secretary Michael Wynne to step down. And for good reasons. We’re talking some real screw-ups here. In August, for instance, a B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear-tipped cruise missiles and flown across the country. The pilot and crew were unaware they had nuclear arms aboard. The error was considered so grave that President Bush was quickly informed, who was probably off doddering in a corner reading a Dick and Jane book. Next, four cone-shaped electrical fuses used in intercontinental ballistic missile warheads were shipped to the Taiwanese instead of the helicopter batteries they had ordered. Oops, guess that was wrong. Whatever happened to competence in the armed forces? The fuses originated at F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming, but the mix-up apparently occurred after the parts were shipped to Hill Air Force Base in Utah. On top of this we get a payola scandal. The Pentagon inspector general found in April that a $50 million contract to promote the Thunderbirds aerial stunt team was tainted by improper influence and preferential treatment. No criminal conduct was found. Of course not, can’t have that kind of scandal now can we? Moseley was not singled out for blame, but the investigation laid out a trail of communications from him and other Air Force leaders that eventually influenced the 2005 contract award. Included in that were friendly e-mails between Moseley and an executive in the company that won the bid. Gee sounds pretty fishy to me. Oh well, all’s well now right? Excuse me if I’m sceptical.

ALLIGATOR IN THE WATER HAZARD

In Glen Burnie, Maryland, I didn’t know they had gators in MD, an animal control officer has rid a local golf course of a menace. One of the local golfer’s reported seing a two-foot long creature swimming in one of the course’s ponds. Officer Glenn Johnson got out his fishing pole and decided to see if he could snag it and reel it in. Traps had been set but they had no luck. Johnson did. Thanks to him the Arundel Golf Park is now free of real hazards in their hazards.

REWARD OFFERED FOR BIGFOOT

Wanted, $1million reward for indisputable evidence of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman, any of his alias. Yes, there is now a bounty on the head of Bigfoot. In a joint effort, Field and Stream Magazine and Bushnell the binocular maker have put up the reward, offer good until December 15th, void where prohibited by law. This is not a joke, they really have made the offer. The also have stipulated that they are not responsible for any injuries incurred in this endeavor. They have to cover their bases. They will pay the million to anyone who can “provide an unaltered photograph/video, verified and substantiated by a panel of scientific experts, including a zoologist and biologist, the evidence required to prove a Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Yeti exists.” Driver’s, start your engines. Maybe a good place to start would be HERE!

WORLD’S BIGGEST BREASTS – GUINESS SAYS SO

Or maybe you’ll say so after few Guiness’ but it’s true Miss Mounds is the winner. The Guiness Book of World Records recently opened a catagory for largest breasts with implants. The winner is pictured below. Her picture before aumentation is also displayed for comaparison purposes. She suppossedly measures 36mmm. I don’t see where they get the 36 unless they mean 36 ft. Maxi Mounds is a lap dancer from Florida, can she fit on a lap like that? “I contacted Guinness World Records and asked if they had a category for implants, but they said no, so I let it go,” she said. “Then they asked me if I was interested as they were creating a category. Eventually they told me I won. I had the old-style silicone imp­lants, but then came all the scare stories, so I had them replaced with overfilled saline.” But her chest began to sag, so she had tubes put in her armpits so she could be firmed up. In 2000, she had her implants ­removed and the pockets filled with plastic string, a procedure which has been banned. Couldn’t that be considered breast abuse? A solution was injected to make the breasts produce fluid and ‘inflate,’ but they kept on growing. Now she’s famous at strip joints everyhwere. Her name is in lights and she finally has a gimmick that places can up the cover charge. Jiggle on Maxi. Jiggle on.

I'm an Author, Journalist, Columnist, Photographer, Editor and Publisher and have been writing for about 30 years. For several years I published my own magazine about Michigan's Upper Peninsula. I live in Sault Sainte Marie, Michigan. Currently I've been blogging around the internet - MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT MY OTHER HUMOR BLOG "What Were They Thinking?" AT: http://mikelclassen.wordpress.comTo learn more about the writer behind the blog, go his website at www.mikelclassen.com Sign the guestbook while you're there.