After years of often daily attempts at humour and virtually any stray thought I could snare on my keyboard, I'm changing the name of this space from Such Is Life, to May I Present:.
That should still allow me to post on a wide variety of topics, but steer the focus for readers to my most common writing efforts now, on Folk, Roots, Blues & Americana music!
Check out my entertainment writing site @ http://danstyves.com/

Sunday, December 30, 2012

I am sending an appeal to my writing pals - basically an apology and a request for illumination.

HOW THE HELL DOES GOODREADS WORK??????

Sorry, I apparently keep getting requests, but whenever I view Goodreads on the mobile version, I cannot find said requests. I can't even find the original quests...

Honestly, I'm not ignoring you, I just can't seem to do anything, at least with the mobile app.

I also worry about giving out too much information, as that is never a prudent thing online, but I have just now allowed Facebook to link with the Goodreads program. Will this solve my problem? Will I finally see the requests I'm getting?

If I learn how to use Goodreads properly, will I be able to play the violin again? Was never able to in the first place, so just wondering....

Any help that anyone can offer would be much appreciated - I don't like wandering around in the darkness online - I have been known to stub my toe, or bang into things with my head - and I have to protect what's left of THAT asset...

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Well, I foun a pitcher on tha innernet that juss happens ta bee sumthin' ah DID dream about once - although wut wuz chasin' me looked more like a blond dog with hip dis-plashia, an a insayshuble appetite fer chicken...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah also dreams uv gettin' fed chicken feed by hens in togas, an on one o-kayshun, ah dreamt of a white Christmas - but that one stopped recently...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Oh, ah kin dreem ov all sortsa things. Racin' cars, boxin' with ellyfants, makin' the Top Five on Amerikin EyeDoll - all stuff that could happen in real life, ah suppose.

Friday, December 28, 2012

I'm pretty sure I saw a reference this morning to National Breast Month?

Well, okey-dokey!

As a fan of white meat, I always tend to prefer the breast, be it turkey, chicken or duck. In a pinch, I can go with dark meat, but only from a leg or drumstick. Otherwise, that stuff just doesn't do it for me.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

I've written before that Mrs. That Dan Guy and I watch a lot of reality television - if by reality television you mean broadcasts of real performers - such as the terrific concerts series such like Live From The Artist's Den, and Infinity Hall Live.

We used to love Elvis Costello's interview and performance show, as well as a few others that have shuttered over the last year or so - but those two seem to be the current ast shows standing.

On Christmas Day, we watched a band on IHL that we had never heard of before - Dawes. Amazing - we'll be searching out some of their music after the holidays. That particular series was also where we caught The Wailin' Jennys - and I've got another couple of episodes I'm hoarding on the PVR, so I imagine if I wait, there might be a few more CDs to pick up.

Sure, I'm missing who whatshername chose to date of all the competing whatssisnames, on the popular show for dingbat dating - but I suppose once I'm drooling in a nursing home somewhere, unable to change channels myself, I'll be able to catch up on shows like that. With the benefit of having my senses already dulled...

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Hey, Philly/NYC/Jersey friends! If you can help out a great storefront and performance space for artists in Philadelphia with a mention on your FB page, Twitter or any new social media I haven't heard of yet - that would be awesome!

HODGEPODGE is mostly a DIY, eco conscious space at 1212 South Street, with 2/3rds of the space less visible from the front half. They are at a quiet stretch of South Street, and their space for small band/comedy/play rehearsals offers great opportunities for indie artists and up-and-comers!

In the performing/practice area, if folks keep rehearsals open for example, friends/family/retail patrons can contribute towards minimal costs. Hourly rates are $15/hour and drop to $10/hr with bulk hours and past first month. Easy monthly rate as well that also drops into second and third months. Some get credit towards free rehearsals, and can volunteer if up for it.

Singer/songwriters, perhaps improv comedy, mostly beginners workshops coming up real soon too. HODGEPODGE also want instructors, any with good knowledge that enjoy teaching!! They are more than open to suggestions for ANY workshops - heck, maybe even a business meeting? Be creative - they are :-)

My dreams wuz dashed this year - ah had hoped ta be one a them mall Santas - but the managers thought ma chicken legs would either collapse under tha weight a modern-day kids - or ah might be a risk what with them being drumsticks an all - not even sure what THAT means...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So, I wuz hoping ta at least spread tha holiday cheers by dressin' up as Sandy Claws, and maybe hang around a few roosts with sum missle toe. Tha chicks LUUUV Santa!!

After years of enjoying the televised broadcasts of this seasonal concert event (and even more years of inexplicably missing it whenever it was in my area), last night we finally got to experience the live version of this worthy undertaking that host Tom Jackson has brought back to Canadian stages.

To quote the souvenir program, "The Huron Carole is a project of the Christmas & Winter Relief Association whose mandate is to support organizations doing hands-on work with the homeless and hungry in Canada".

That Mr. Jackson has decided to re-stage this series again indicates that we may not be as far out of the recession as we continue to hear. The program opens with the statement that food bank use is on the rise in Canada. So a sold-out concert hall helped just a little bit in the mission of this benefit, and for their recipients.

The audience gathered was certainly the recipient of some of Canada's finest talent. I have been a fan of each of these artists on the stage last night, and was looking forward to seeing many of them live for the very first time.

With his genial manner and great sense of humour, Mr. Jackson set the stage to quietly open the show, and introduce Susan Aglukark. If there is a more perfect voice, please provide me with evidence. In her far-too-short performance, Ms. Aglukark sounded and appeared like she walked right out of a frame of her breakthrough "O Siem" video - released back in 1995!! A song she performed last night, by the way...

Following next was retro crooner Matt Dusk. We've had his Christmas album for years, and right out of the gate he brought "Cool Yule" out to set the tone for his holiday renditions. A little trouble with the microphone cutting in and out, but the Jack Singer is a hall that affords forgiveness - evidenced by his sing-a-long holiday classics without the faltering mic. One cool cat, Mr. Dusk...

Having heard some Sarah Slean beforehand, it was no surprise to hear her lush vocals bring Christmas standards to life. A new original selection from her latest album "Land & Sea" promptly sent me over to the merchandise table during the break. I'll be slipping those discs into the player later today...

To close the show, Tom Jackson took over for the second half, with an actor's command of the stage, and what could be some of the corniest gags you may ever hear (and laugh at anyway). Of course, if you read my daily Tweets, then who the heck am I to be casting aspersions here?

His version of The Huron Carole remains for me the second most profound song of the season I have heard (the first most profound I wrote about here back on Dec. 16th). As he invited the rest of the performers back to close the show with a graceful A cappella version of Silent Night, it's not hard to appreciate why this event sells out.

Not so long ago, by a twist of fate we almost needed the service this concert series supports. Thrilled to say that now not only were we able to support the effort by buying tickets to the show, the two bags of groceries we brought along are recognition that hunger and homelessness doesn't take the holidays off. And that anyone can be affected.

Hey, find out more about each of these artists (and the Huron Carole event) at:

Incidentally, when I had the chance to visit the artists after the show, I mentioned to Tom Jackson that the last time I had seen him live, it was in Winnipeg, and I bought a cassette tape album of his. A CASSETTE TAPE!!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

I'm attaching a revised piece that I wrote for my weekly newspaper humour column space back in 2009. There is less humour in this piece than I normally included in my columns. With the events of the last few days, I'm thinking it has some direct relation to what has been going on in America.

Take from it what you will...

I Know It’s Christmas When…

I’ve always equated the arrival of Christmas with hearing seasonal songs, either on the radio or while walking around in department stores in September. When I was younger, there was a popular ditty about a hula hoop, courtesy of Alvin & The Chipmunks. As I got a bit older, Elvis made me look forward to a “Blue Christmas” every year. And who out there hasn’t dreamed of a “White Christmas”, with the possible exception of Canadian tourists attending December luaus in Hawaii?

Over all the years and all the Christmases, there was one song I absolutely had to hear before I conceded that the jolly old fat man really was loading up his sleigh - “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” – by John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band. For decades, it has been my all-time favourite song of the holiday season, even when other artists have earnestly mangled it beyond recognition.

That would change...I remember vividly one winter night playing games with family and friends - December 8, 1980. Whatever song had been playing on the radio that evening was suddenly interrupted – a report came in that Lennon had just been murdered outside his New York City apartment, while returning from a recording session. My favourite Christmas song would forever be far more poignant than even the original lyrics had intended.

In the summer of 2009, I made my first-ever visit to New York. Among the many sights of that city that I stuffed into a trip far too short was an excursion I made to Central Park, to see and to walk in Strawberry Fields. At the time, it had been 29 years after Lennon’s passing, and flowers were still being placed around the mosaic stonework of “Imagine”. I thought that experience might be my singular moment to experience the impact the former Beatle had on that city. But I was surprised to find something even more compelling and unforgettable.

The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Annex NYC in Soho featured a new exhibit that had just opened earlier that year. Created by Yoko Ono, “John Lennon: The New York City Years” was an expansive compendium of their life in the city - featuring photographs, clothing, hand-written song lyrics, pianos Lennon composed the final recordings of his life on, the unmistakable eye- glasses he made famous, and even the Grammy that he had won.

Seeing so many of these iconic items was a bit overwhelming. At the end of the exhibit, leading guests back out to the Hall Of Fame, was the most emotional part of the entire experience. A bloody paper bag containing the clothes Lennon was wearing when he was murdered outside his apartment sat behind a pane of glass. Yoko Ono has made this a graphic plea for changes to gun laws, indicating in a plague that John was “the King Of The World – he had everything any person could want, but at the end of his life, he came back to me in a paper bag”.

Christmas time is many things, to many people. Most often, we associate it with gifts, and personal wants. John Lennon only wrote one Christmas song that I’m aware of, but so many of his other song lyrics speak to the true meaning of the season:

“Imagine there’s no hunger.”

“Give peace a chance.”

“Happy Xmas, War Is Over”

Song lyrics from assorted times of the year - pretty powerful thoughts for this season.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Centuries ago, the first artificial Christmas tree was erected, and now all these years later we still celebrate this holiday season by putting up an artificial Christmas tree.

Our last artificial Christmas trees have had built-in lights! I forget what you call those coloured filaments that change colours as they softly alternate on and off, on and off - but they look just like what the wise men must have seen back in the day!

In a fit of ironic rebellion, we have put real pine cones on our artificial tree, just to shake things up. It doesn't take away much from the authenticity, what with the artificial tinsel, artificial decorations, and artificial star on top.

Well, not so much a star as a plastic figurine of Justin Bieber WEARING a star - pretty appropriate all things considered...

Sunday, December 09, 2012

After a week of attempting to numb a howling tooth, I got in to see a new dentist yesterday. Turns out after a battery of X-rays and observations, the thought is I have another sinus flare-up. Second one in about as many months.

So, another round of antibiotics, and another round of visits with my Neti-Pot, an invention for which I would kiss on the lips whoever devised such a godsend device. I never thought I would look forward to filling in for my bathroom faucet, but it truly feels marvelous!!

However, I did not get off altogether scot-free. I have some cracked fillings, a cavity under a crown, and gums that "resemble reef coral"...

Another day - what they did also discover was that I have been grinding my teeth down in my sleep, probably with worry over America's looming Fiscal Cliff.

The solution was being fitted for a night guard, which isn't as much about my personal security as it is about keeping my top teeth separated from my bottom teeth. Unlike the over-the-counter mouth guards you can buy in any pharmacy, dentists don't see any lucrative insurance money there, so they had to fit me for a personalized appliance. I have to admit, once the the resin fumes receded, it felt pretty comforting. It only covers my two buck teeth, so the next time time I sleep through an alarm and rush out the door, I'll look like a beaver in that morning's office meeting.

However, if I can continue to keep these yellowed chompers a little longer, it should all be worth it.

Friday, December 07, 2012

Call me crazy - you'll be inclined to after I run this consideration past you!

With the NHL discussions looking more and more like an armed holdup where no one is willing to acknowledge the situation, maybe it's time the players wash their hands of the NHL altogether, and join together to start a new, Bettman-free league. A league that plays games in admittedly smaller arenas, but provides infinitely more value for fans in those smaller venues.

You could have more Canadian teams, or at least more games in Canadian communities, versus say...new franchises in hockey towns like Salt Lake City, or Deadwood. Where even the sounds of skates and pucks are drowned out by the scraping of walkers along pavement...

Sure, there would be a lot of empty arenas that billionaire owners would have to re-purpose for things like weekly Monster Truck rallies, chamber orchestra concerts, and flu shot clinics - but after a while of carrying the costs without NHL hockey money, the owners might be persuaded to rent the facilities back to the new league, on the player-owned group's terms.

The winners here I think would be the fans, especially in cities with good arenas, but off the radar of the empire building NHL. How fun would it be to see a Leafs/Canadiens game in Brandon Manitoba?? Win Win!

Sure, even the players would have to sacrifice some inflated salaries, but they're playing for the love of the game, right? And, they would never be held hostage again, as the players themselves would own the league, AND determine where the market actually is. Instead of carrying money-losing franchises in exotic locations like Biloxi, or Costa Rica.

So, give that a thought NHL hockey players - disband the league, leave the owners hanging out to dry, and start up a new league - maybe the New Hockey League, which could maybe get away with using the old logo, and save some start-up money by not having to create new logos.

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Tis the season for sugar-free Turtles - a tasty candy delight oddly unavailable throughout the rest of the year. I look forward to stocking my shelves and/or decking my halls with these chocolatey clusters of goodness.

It would be cool if they could have little spectacles and a top hat like the cartoon mascot. You could chew those off first, like the ears off of an Easter bunny!

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Cohesive rambles. Not-so-cohesive rambles. Concert and other varied entertainment reviews. Plus the occasional rubber chicken or two. That's life, here in the "Such Is Life" household.
BRAND-NEW: Podcasts at either libsyn.com, or iTunes (thatdanguy's podcast). Check them out at:
http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/
Oh and by the way - you'll have to go way back into the archives to see why I close with "Chow For Now", and to see my apology to the online Italian community...