They're gross, but in the same way that one of those "death by chocolate" desserts is gross. There's like eight forms of chocolate in it, and it's overly sweet and far too rich. But you know goddamn well you're going to plow into it regardless and experience it to its unwholesome fullness. Sometimes, pretty gross is just what you need.

She's like, "Tell your girlfriend you like smaller tits and to get smaller implants."

... he said he finds them a turn-off. He didn't say he found big tits a turn-off. Maybe he meant he finds fake tits a turn-off and you should have kept your real boobs, because fark. What is wrong with women anyway? Fake tits? When I squeeze them you don't feel shiat, that's so pointless.

You can tell if someone never was good with the ladies by their obsession with boobs. Boobs are an afterthought, but look at Fark.... A chick can be 200 pounds, but have watermelon saggy boobs, and be a goddess..

Nadie_AZ:DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.

Let he who has not seen a horrifically bad boob job cast the first implant.

i've been thinking of skipping a double date this weekend over insecurity - her fakes in clothes outshine my own - its difficult if half the dinner party are focused on one quarter of it

B cup - don't care, usually

seriously... If the guy you are with is concentrating on another girl with fake tits on your double date, why are you allowing him a chance at continuing his gene pool?

Unless it's really just your insecurity, you really shouldn't stand for a guy treating you this way. It's not going to get better, he's just going to cheat on you eventually (if he's actually doing this).

I'm not writing a letter to Dear Abby, but when I see implants while doing program research on Cinemax, I only notice the scars and the perfect spheres that stand directly outwards, unaffected by gravity.

DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

letrole:Anyone who claims to prefer girls with small breasts also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years2. Drink microbrewery beer3. Watch Japanese children's cartoons on a Mac4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records5. Read books at Starbucks6. Ride a bike to work wearing spandex stretch trousers7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.8. Walk past a smoker and force pretentious coughing noises9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac

Anybody who posts the same list verbatim in multiple boob threads also tends to:1. Have seen one set of boobs in their life, which happened to be big.2. Secretly fantasize about small-chested girls, but is afraid of owning up to it because they think it makes them a little gay.3. Not know what nipples are for.4. Spend a fair amount of spare time practicing the one handed bra unhook technique for the day it will finally come in handy.5. Think motorboating is the height of physical comedy.6. Took notes during the "bag of sand" scene from 40 Year Old Virgin.7. Has wear marks on the "Ctrl", "C", and "V" keys on their keyboard.8. Sides with Carlos Mencia in the whole Joe Rogan debacle.9. Repeats themselves a lot.10. Repeats themselves a lot.

You're going to log on to a computer and spank it to still photos? What is this, 1993?

/cause if it is, somebody please kill Dick Cheney before he's unleashed on the world.

Nope. You scroll through this thread and keep saying "daaamn.... DAMN!!!!" until you have to relieve yourself with videos. These threads kind of set the mood for me... the young, fit, black women pictures stole it for me.

It took me a minute, but I figured out how this could happen to this guy...

1. He sees a girl with large breasts who he finds attractive.2. He dates her for a few weeks, has sex and finds out the breasts are fake.3. He may have developed feelings for her at that point, and didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her he hates fake breasts.

Now there's a problem which both of them caused. She had fake breasts (false advertising), when he found out the truth, he either felt he was being shallow, didn't want to hurt her feelings, or he was just plain shallow.

To the ladies in this thread, if you are confused about how guys in this thread speak about hating fake breasts and how it still seems that guys in the real world are attracted to women with fake breasts, here's your answer. -Sometimes we can't tell, and even when we can, sometimes there are no better options.

e.g. not a single guy in this thread would have turned down a night with Pamela Anderson when she had fake tits. They certainly would have preferred them to be real, and they probably would have preferred a version of her with smaller, *real* tits. But the truth is if two identical twins were next to each other and one *appeared* to have legitimately larger breasts, who do you think will get the attention?

It's the same thing as wearing a fake Rolex for a guy on a date... He *appears* rich and seems nice, so a girl agrees to go on a date with him. If she later finds out the watch is fake, can she leave without being judged or feeling bad about herself when she finds out he's a school teacher?

Fake tits are good if you had one lopped off or were flat as a board. Otherwise, the sensations you get and the reactions they illicit are much more valuable.

I wish more women weren't insecure dopes

Some women are with assholes who say things like "My boner would last longer if you got implants, babe." and they believe them. Plus there is an issue where breasts all seem to be categorised as large or small, with no in between. There's a lot of women who think unless they hit the D mark, theirs are small and inferior. It convinces women with 34C breasts they are flat as a board. C is medium and very proportional in most cases.

95629:I'm with this dude. Fake boobs look better in clothes, real boobs look better out of clothes. I'd take small real ones over big fake ones any day.

Boobs are great. Half spheres of silicone with oddly placed nipples on them aren't.

Look, this guy met her after they were put in. He met her with after market add ons. She feels good enough about herself to let em out. That's on him.

But I have known women who had offsetting sizes and felt awful about themselves. Getting those fixed would have been a wonderous and momentous moment in their lives. I don't blame her for doing what she is doing.

My wife has a beautiful looking pair of B-cups. Although my son did a number on them during his infancy, I still do not skip the chance to latch onto them like a lamprey. She wants to get the surgery done and I am loosing the fight. I hope she reconsiders, I love em natural.

I find that the smaller ones are more fun. The ex has triple g's, and that is just to much. another ex had b's, if she was lucky. The smaller ones are more sensitive, overall, and I never thought I was going to drown when she was on top. The back problems for the large-bosomed ex were starting to kick in, while the smaller chested gf had energy to burn.

/except for the age difference, I'd still be with the flat-chested woman//we could talk for hours, ignoring the powered of TV///should have kept that one. dammit.

"Dear Abby, my girlfriend got me to pay for basketballs to be implanted into her chest. Her nipples now resemble pancakes run over by a tanker truck, and skin is starting to rip. I am afraid they will suddenly pop off and explod on the floor like two alien blanc manges before she can take off with the tribal tattooed gym douchebag of her dreams."

Some 'Splainin' To Do:Nadie_AZ: DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off as I am very gay, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her and am a Republican state representative, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.

She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do? What do you think she would say if I invited my not boyfriend to join in? -- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

This is the unedited letter he almost sent.

Let he who has not seen a horrifically bad boob job cast the first implant.