No longer content with Walker, Texas Ranger royalties from Hallmark Channel re-runs, Chuck “Can Kick-Start a Car” Norris now has an official mobile game. It’s not just on iPhone, either. Chuck Norris cannot be contained by Apple alone.

It’s called Chuck Norris: Bring on the Pain. It brings it. Hard.

You can download it here from Gameloft for as little as $4 depending on your service provider. If you don’t, Chuck Norris will eat a kitten.

Here’s some features, straight from the game’s website:

The official game of martial arts champ, action star, TV hero, and media phenomenon Chuck Norris!

A hilarious dive into the life of the legend: martial arts, denim-clad justice, and commando fights!

Loads of enemies, including memorable bosses such as Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-il.

Fight with heavy weaponry or unleash furious combos, then hop on a motorcycle, car or helicopter.

Take pictures of your friends and turn them into the game’s enemies.

According to Kotaku, the game contains “three environments, thirteen levels, and… TWO Chuck Norrises.” Bruce Lee might not even be able to handle that much Chuck-osity.

Check this screenshot:

Awwwww yeah. Oh, and that’s not a life bar. That’s a meter telling you how long until Chuck Norris breaks your phone from the inside using his beard alone. Here’s a hint: try not to let his digital representation die while on your watch. He knows where you live, and he is RIGHT BEHIND YOU.