Microsoft? Are you out there?

Does it game? Can you easily use Excel on it? Can you Multitask in Win8?

When MS wonders why Surface (which I was SO excited about) and Win8 fell flatter than a Parisian crepe in wine-press, they need to look at the core users of tablets. On one hand you have people who are at a conference, seeing a patient, sketching a draft – and also trying to check email, make a receipt or invoice, look for previous art/math/documents for reference pieces. You failed to bring multitasking easily to Win8, you crippled a fantastic desktop environment and you made every action much, much harder.

Then you have us gamers, both hardcore and casual. You failed to create a casual market. Your app store is messier than Charlie Sheen’s hotel bedspread and your support for your ‘touchscreen’ controls is abysmal. I shouldn’t feel like gaming natively on a Win8 tablet is harder than playing DOS games in an Android tablet.

You also have people who just wanted a decent tablet to check email and watch Netflix and play Angry Birds. And you offer them nothing but confusion. You made a nice, happy, tablet friendly interface and released it with an app store that, compared to the competition, was little more than a shitty bait store in the Ozarks selling minnows, old jerky and soda that comes in bottles that smell like old cigarette smoke.

Finally, you have people who buy a NICE, expensive, HD tablet (or try putting Win8 on their PCs) who are PLAGUED by shitty resolution handling, a crippled desktop environment, shitty app and application support and just a horrible experience all around.

MS, you’ve taken everything good in XP, refined it in Vista, realized you made a toxic drain cleaner there and then fixed the recipe into 7… a nice, solid OS. Then you kicked every loyal user in the kidneys with 8.

And it shows.

No one is buying it. No one cares. You’ve done the same thing now as you did with the Windows Phone crap – too little too late; instead of listening to your competitors who are innovating, you just went and tried to steal from the Apple playbook – and fucked your entire respect chain to the ground.

7 was a pinnacle for me. Fantastic.

8? I got rid of that like it was Chlamydia – and so are a lot of users.

Stop trying to edge into the tablet market, focus on desktops, WORK with Android to provide SMP and Active Directory and Exchange support and crush the hell out of Apple’s proprietary shit. Work together. Be friends. Make some Android DirectX APIs so we’re not limited to OpenGL (even though it works better… :P)

Again, my rant ends with this: Microsoft spends SO MUCH MONEY on trying to be Apple nowadays. Be Microsoft. Do what you do best. Buy technology. Eat up (and fund) decent, smaller companies. Open source some shit. Look like the good guy. KILL WINDOWS 8. Allow Android 4.2 on Surface Tabs. Earn, baby. Kill Apple, those innovation stiflers… except, lately, MS seems to want to ride that cheap, easy bandwagon. Maybe even 7 is a bad idea. Maybe I need to go full Android/Linux. Meh, I don’t know. I just hate to see MS, the best gaming OS, going the Apple route. Steam and other publishers are moving to Linux, so maybe it’s time I go back.