Army of Epiphenomenon

Monday, November 16, 2009

Department of Education Secretary Arne Duncan announced Monday that a new course will be offered at all schools across America, including home schools, effective fall of 2010. The Federal mandate, or “initiative” as it is being called by Duncan will “tackle the new issues faced by our evolving society.” Although the United Educators Association (UEA) support the mandate, many educators, including homeschooling families, claim a strong liberal bias. Secretary Duncan (picture left with the world biggest douche bag) defended the new curriculum by saying, “This new course will inform students of current issues and help defray the effects of outdated and fallacious accounts of other forms of government propagated in decades past. In short, it will prepare future decision makers to embrace the new direction that the evolved members of our American society is currently embracing rather than the antiquated ideas of segregation, Christianity, and individualism.”

The textbook (pictured right) for the course, which has been produced by Duncan’s Education Department, has been released to educators to preview for the upcoming school year. Among the features that have some educators and almost all homeschooling families outraged, is a fold-out poster (pictured left) which must be displayed in a prominent place in the room used for educating students. Says Emily Steinmetz, a homeschooling mother from Ohio, “I’m being forced to promote a system of government, in my home, that opposes religious worship. Further the textbook itself vilifies Christian tenets as hateful and wrong.” A public educator from Banger, Maine, who wished to remain anonymous to protect his job, decried the new course saying, “This is just a thin veiled attempt to brainwash our children into accepting the liberal agenda and destroy the Christian, Capitalist, and Individualist foundations of our nation.”

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Dude. Delete your spam commends. It makes it hard to read the legitimate ones. Also, I am not entirely sure what this particular post parodies. My only guess is that it's a liberal version of how Texas removed Thomas Jefferson from their history textbooks. But without any particular parallels, this makes it more difficult to label as a direct satire. It is more of an indirect satire of politics in education and of a manifestation of how Fox News audiences picture the Obama administration. A riper and more direct parody would heighten the absence of Thomas Jefferson and perhaps get rid of all the founding fathers entirely and replace them with Jesus.