Mere all-stars hit; Troy Tulowitzkis. How else is there to describe what this guy is doing? The Rockies’ shortstop is playing in a different stratosphere (not just the funhouse that is Coors Field), and he’s playing almost mythically, such as, depending on your age, “Paste” from Nintendo’s Bases Loaded, Roy Hobbs from the New York Knights or Shoeless Joe from Hannibal, Mo.

Pitchers don’t scatter hits against Colorado; they’re Tulowitzki’d.

But can he Tulowitzki the Rockies into relevance? Will it take a season straight out of a video game to carry Colorado into October? Let’s talk short term, at least.

The Rockies have two of their five starters on the 60-day disabled list. If this were March, you’d be thinking cellar — or, at least, trade-deadline sellers. But with the unbridled brilliance of starter Jordan “Sparky” Lyles (the Yankees’ Albert Walter Lyle won the 1977 AL Cy Young), Colorado is getting an unexpected boost. Expect the other fill-in starters to come back to earth, which means Tulowitzki’s performance in the first 81 games might be more important than in the second 81, when starters Brett Anderson and Tyler Chatwood are expected to return.

Oh, and who needs a trade when you get two “free” starters around July?

And, of course, there are the possible call-ups of pitchers Jon Gray and Eddie Butler, though Denverites often talk about this divine duo as an singular entity — Grayandbutler — that will exorcise the demon that is Neagleandhampton.

So, a second-half Tulowitzki could be mortal, but that doesn’t mean the season would be lost, because the arms are a-comin’.

But Colorado must put up a big number in the first half. After 40 games, the boys are 23-17. Sure, Tulo will get help from the other O’s — CarGo, Arenado, Rosario and Morneau. But with a makeshift staff, the next, say, 50 games will be huge for No. 2, acknowledging the Rockies’ stretch from May 20 to July 6, when 30 of the 45 games are against first-place teams or the Dodgers.

Tulo leads baseball with a .395 batting average and tops in the National League in home runs, slugging percentage, wins above replacement and at-bats in which guys stopped flirting with girls on the party deck to watch.

What is he doing so differently? He’s striking out less, walking more, sure. But he’s hitting to the opposite field with authority — he has the best hips since Shakira. He leads baseball, by a large margin, in hard-hit balls. And as Jonah Keri of ESPN’s Grantland points out, Tulowitzki is hitting pitches lower in the strike zone than normal, for a higher average, a trait uncharacteristic in Tulo’s recent seasons.

Of course, the national narrative is that Tulowitzki is doing this because he plays at Coors Field. His batting average at home is .608, with the next-highest NL home average at .444 — Arizona’s Chris Owings.

So, yeah, the numbers will drop. Tulo isn’t hitting .395 for the season, or .608 at home.

But if he stays healthy and continues to pound the ball, the Rockies should remain relevant by the time their rotation gets reinforcements. Man, that’ll be fun for a change.

And remember, the only two times Tulo played 150 or more games, the Rockies made the postseason.

Benjamin Hochman was a sports columnist for The Denver Post until August 2015 before leaving for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, his hometown newspaper. Hochman previously worked for the New Orleans Times-Picayune, winner of two Pulitzer Prizes for its Hurricane Katrina coverage. Hochman wrote the Katrina-themed book “Fourth and New Orleans,” published in 2007.