I'm going to make this as short and sweet as possible. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 5 years, we lived together, we stopped having sex and it became platonic, We broke up, I moved out last year. I started getting serious with somebody else all the while keeping a very close friendship with my ex.

Recently I broke it off with the guy I was seeing, I'm having all sorts of issues in my life right now. I'm fighting old demons and I'm broke and in the middle of a painful break up. I know I can always call my ex for support. He knows me better than anybody and I trust him with my life. He's a family friend as well so he's still involved in my life.

Anyway, last night I went out, got drunk, felt uncomfortable at my apartment and called my ex to come get me and take me to our old home. (We have a completely platonic relationship. I know he wants more at times but he respects me and loves me unconditionally. Or so I thought.) He was up anyway and had no problem with it. So on the way back I fell asleep in the passenger seat, when we pulled into the driveway, i woke up slightly but didn't move. He got out of the car, opened my door and started taking pictures of my passed out body, up my dress. I was paralyzed with anxiety and in that moment I had a rush of memories come to me of him doing this before but I was much more drunk and naked in the past, when we were together. I thought "HOLY SHIT." Didn't say a word, still haven't. I've been sexually abused before, I've been raped and taken advantage of by men but never him. I'm so overwhelmed. What do I do? What can I do? Are there laws against this?

Sorry for the messy writing, I'm having a full blown panic attack and trying to our my thoughts in order.

TL;DR My ex boyfriend took pictures (upskirts) of me while I was drunk. He didn't know I was conscious. He did not have my permission. It triggered memories if him doing this in the past. I feel violated and I don't know what to do.

UPDATE: I have decided that, later tonight, I'm going to text him and let him know that I was conscious. I'll see how he reacts and go from there. I'm TERRIFIED though. =/

I want to give you a million hugs. I don't know what you can do, but calling RAINN, a local rape crisis hotline, or a local woman's shelter is a good first step. They have trained counselors who know what the laws are. It's probably going to be hard to charge him with anything, but right now the most important thing is for you to get support and figure out what your options are.

Try to relax and deal with the panic attack first. Everything will be easier after that. You aren't with him anymore, and he can't hurt you anymore.

Oh god, I am so sorry this happened to you. I think you should contact a women's support group, I am glad you understand how serious this is. I don't think you can rely on your ex for emotional support ever again, or even be friends with him. It is very disturbing behaviour and I think you should treat it as a serious violation of your trust.

:) Good luck with everything, if you feel you need support for anything in the future then i'm sure /r/offmychest or /r/twoxchromosomes would be able to help you without you needing to turn to people who you can't trust.

I hope you are going to remove him from your life, even though it'll probably be difficult at first considering your history together. It sounds like he has a pattern of taking advantage of you when you're drunk, and you really don't need someone like that in your life.

keep us updated. that's terrible what happened to you..i wish i could give you a hug!

preparing yourself to talk to him about it is probably tying you in knots..the fact that this is something that you are planning on doing shows strength. you have all of the strength you need..give yourself the time you need but stick to your guns! do what you believe is right!

I think you really need to talk to him about this if you haven't already. Also, you should think about ceasing contact with him. Even if you are in a platonic relationship with him, if he wanted more than that then that's just asking for trouble.