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“do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more.” –luke 12:4

“prayer leads us to the knowledge that ‘all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.'” – julian of norwich

last week i was living in the house of fear. every day it was a battle to keep my browser off of nytimes.com and to control my rising panic regarding the stock market. at present, i have precious little money in the market, but my development job is closely attuned to movements within the market. hence my fear.

on wednesday, in the middle of that dark week, i hurried onto an orange line train at wellington, captured one of the last remaining seats, dug out jesus for president and started to read.

or at least i meant to read.

almost immediately my attention was drawn to the black swiss army briefcase which abutted my leg. on top of the briefcase i noticed multi-colored cards, adorned with beautiful arabic script, that were were being pondered one at a time.

i wanted to focus on my book and harbor the illusion that i am without prejudice.

but i couldn’t help myself.

eventually, after five long seconds of inner turmoil, i glanced at the keeper of the cards and noticed that he was middle eastern. i wish i could say that he was arabic, persian or egyptian, but i didn’t want to stare.

sullivan square was coming up and i had a decision to make. should i trust that this man’s intentions were as earnest as my own as i sat there reading jesus for president? or should i save myself from the minute possibility of being victimized by another madrid, another london?

i got off the train.

i sat in shame.

waiting for the next orange line train to forest hills.

in the days that followed i dug into the scriptures. i sought a fear of God that would strengthen me to serve. i confessed my idolatry of the dollar and my failure to love my brother, prayer partner, image bearer. i preached, with tears in my eyes, looking for the house of love.

today i’ve been wondering how the church and her mission would be altered by a long-term recession. other than encouraging compassionate redistribution, providing financial and sustainable life skills training and, if need be, turning a few of those ginormous family life centers into places where displaced families could really, you know, live their lives, i don’t really know what the church in the context of depression would look like. thoughts?

the boston cohort is gathering tomorrow night (9.15.08) at danny’s diner in somerville (300 Beacon Street, near the porter square stop on the red line) around 7 p.m. we’d love to see you there.

little p’s laughter is the sweetest sound in the world.

this weekend, i was once again amazed by my eclectic, incredible group of friends. i do not deserve you.

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today the new york times had an excellent multimedia feature that focused on how a family has intentionally introduced their autistic child to the wonders of travel. anyone who has heard me talk about my experiences accompanying and empowering people with disabilities has probably heard me say that “family is the greatest disability.” stories like this, as well as my interaction with many of our participant’s families, reminds me that families are the greatest source of ability as well.

anyway, i enjoyed the story and i hope you do as well.

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yesterday we, along with an incredibly eclectic group of new and old friends, attended the barackobama rally in manchester. throughout the event i was impressed by obama’s focus on progressive policy, detailed comparisons of his proposals and mccains‘ and the hopeful, positive tone of the whole event.

although i don’t talk politics on the blog much, i am definitely an obama backer. though the polls are tight right now i think obama has the wind on the economy, the war and resource development. for those reasons, in my better moments, i believe that the american public will eventually decide to arrest the elevated entropy of our nation by voting the neo-con edition republicans out of office.

that being said, my one concern with obama’s platform, and with contemporary american politics in general, is that our leaders constantly promise significant change that requires little or no sacrifice from ordinary citizens. that is why i completely agree with jeffjacoby’sopinion that the change we need cannot simply be funded by increased taxes on the top 1% of americans. in order to bring economic stability to the nation and provide the innovative resource development and sweeping access to health care that this nation needs, we will need not only to tax the rich and strategically retreat from economic blunders such as the iraq war, but we will also need for the middle class to sacrifice by rolling back the bush tax cuts and so requiring the investment of ordinary citizens in the redevelopment of our beleaguered nation.

Believe me, I was completely caught up in the hoopla that summer. Living one hour (sans traffic) from Wrigley definitely added to the excitement. We’d never seen anything like this in baseball (some may argue 1961 Maris-Mantle, but that was an age of single-camera baseball coverage and no internet), and fans turned out in droves. I went to see the Cardinals at Comisky (now US Cellular) in July because McGwire would be there (he didn’t disappoint, hitting #32 that evening). It was all surreal…and then…

Canseco. Caminiti. Congress. Cowardice. Here I am, 10 years later, hoodwinked, bamboozled by two guys who will (whether or not they ever confess) a huge asterisk on their careers because of a lack of integrity. Two guys sealed their fates when they wouldn’t just own up to the allegations. “I’m not here to talk about the past.” Well, I am, Mr. McGwire and Mr. Sosa. I quote Jimmy Gator from that beautiful film Magnolia, “The book says, ‘We might be through with the past, but the past ain’t through with us.’” What sucks is every time a Ryan Howard, Josh Hamilton, David Ortiz, or Albert Pujols goes yard, the past ain’t through with us. Every time another player gets suspended, the past ain’t through with us. McGwire and Sosa ignited the fuse of our suspicion, and, henceforth, every Home Run champ will be placed under a microscope. His blood, urine, and hair will be examined. His former high school coach and his baby’s mama will be questioned. I can’t enjoy the long ball like I used to…perhaps it’s God’s way of forcing me to enjoy great pitching…and BTW, when did a 3.75 ERA become good? Where are Bob Gibson and Sandy Koufax when you need them? Sorry, there I go talking about the past again.

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this blog is a collaboration between jeff gentry, kevin smith clark and slowfo. if you think of it in light of the depiction of rolling stone in almost famous, jeff is ben fong-torres (since he always secretly wanted to be asian), kevin smith clark (aka your public school) is william ... Continue reading →