Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Chocolate Cake Or Death

Today, my ex who I am still very close to informed me that he is afraid he has diabetes. So, I said you change how you eat if you are experiencing the blood sugar drops and rises. His reponse to me was, NO WAY, FORGET THAT! He would much rather eat the cake now and have his DR. Pepper and die tomorrow knowing he lived happily today I think his disgusting quote was, " look I think of it this way... I dont wanna die tomorrow knowing I could of had a regular Dr. Pepper today, or a cheese burger, or reeses pb cup. When I die I want the corner to open me up and make the whole room smell like potatoe wedges."

I have never felt like there was a time in my life where I would take death and food over living a long life. But, as I think about it I make that choice a lot. I chose to eat poorly, I chose to eat things I am allergic to. But, if I was ever diagnosed with something as serious as diabetes I think I would really boggle down and do the work. I have lost many family members to the complications of diabetes and I would really rather not have to experience it or put my family members through it. I would hate to loose him to this disease he is still young not even 28 years old. As I write this I am also messaging with him on Yahoo! and told him I was using his quote and his response to me was just for the record I am not fat I am fluffy. And for the record the man is 6'3 and 400 pounds he is fat. But, he chooses to live his life the way he wishes I have no control over it. All I know is that I refuse to live my life like that. He says that he would much rather be happy now and have his chocoalate cake. But, really how happy are you with blood sugars going up and down? What is going to happen when you get older become blind, loose your feet? Who, is going to be there for your kids? Who is going to be there for your nieces and nephews that look up to you? Not you because you won't be able to see them, run and play with them. All I can say is I would much rather watch what I eat now then look back when I am 50 sightless, legless wishing I would have chosen life over chocolate.