Over the weekend, a senior at Houston’s Madison High School (Titans QB Vince Young’s alma mater), Marche Taylor (pictured left), was barred from her prom for wearing a revealing dress. When the girl offered to wrap the cape of the dress around her bare midriff, a chaperone told her that she was still not allowed in because she wasn’t wearing underwear (how the chaperone came to this conclusion with certainty, I have no idea). Then Marche argued for a refund on her prom ticket, someone called the popo, and she was led away in handcuffs.

My only problem with her dress has to do with its color, gold with a hint of gangrene, which resembles dried cat vomit. The kind that you don’t find for a day or two until it’s really caked into your upholstery and you have to get that shit steam-cleaned.

That’s why I found it so charming that Marche’s date wore a vest and tie to match her dress, pukey color and all. He’s pictured at right with Marche as she’s getting escorted out of the Sugar Land Marriott in bracelets, in what serves as their prom photo. No charges were filed in the end.

The upshot to all this is that Marche ended up getting what every girl wants from her prom night (but is usually denied): a splashy entrance, a date who doesn’t leave her side, and a night she’ll never forget. Beats the hell outta this.