20 August 2007

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.How would this translate into various ideologies?

Bushism – God spoke to me and told me that the three birds constitute an axis of evil. We want the birds dead or alive. Yes I know the CIA trained the birds.

Blairism – Same as Bushism, just on a different continent and with a posh-er accent.

Musharraf-ism – Hey, Bush, pay me a few million and I'll get the birds for you. If you don't I'll give the birds nukes. Hey, birds, give up one of your own to me and I'll pay you to make more birds.

Osama-ism – India, America and Israel have a soft spot for the birds. We'll infiltrate a trained bird of our own to blow itself and the other birds up. This will contribute to the greater glory of me... err I mean God.Capitalism – The bird in the hand should do double the work for half the money or we'll outsource the job to the birds in the bush.

Communism – Cut up the bird in hand and distribute its parts to the birds in the bush.

Non-aligned movement-ism – We protest the overworking of the bird and the cutting up of the bird. Now treat us like we are important. No, we don't have any solutions.

Greenpeace-ism – The bird's poop should be protected. Do not remove it.

Science prof-ism – how is the bird in hand different from the birds in the bush? i want 200,000 for 2 years, 1 postdoc and a graduate student to work on this most important problem. The answers will solve HIV, cancer, and get us to Mars (but maybe not in my lifetime).

Ph.D. student-ism – How can I leverage this situation to help me graduate sometime before the decade ends and/or get free pizza/beer?

Philosopher – Just what is a bird anyway? Is it an extension of man's desire to fly?

Freudism – The stories you heard about the birds and the bees has probably caused this interest in birds. This explains your depression right now.

Religious person – God wanted the bird to come to you. Thank Him for this precious gift and He, if he wants, will gift you the other two birds.

Atheism – The bird was attracted by the scent of your breakfast on your hand. The birds in the bush have better survival instincts.

(OK, this post was subconsciously affected by the brilliant article – You have two cows. Here's a link to another post that was inspired by the two cows.)