Read this before applying for your Citibank card

Last Friday, I submitted an online application to Citibank because I wanted a credit card from them. Easy-peasy, right? ‘Cos of our being in the hi-tech cyberspace age and all. But nooooooo. This is what happened after.

Phone rings Friday evening.

Citibank officer: Dr. Katie, I understand you have made an online application for a credit card.

Me: Yep. And?

CO: I will be emailing you some documents for you to fill up, ma’am.

Me: Eh why? I already submitted my CPF documents online.

CO: Yes, but we need to see your signature on some forms.

Me: OK, fair enough. I will fill them in after I next check my email.

Methinks: end of story. Wrong. Phone rings Saturday afternoon.

Same CO: Hi Dr. Katie. Have you filled up those forms yet?

Me: Er, no. I got back really late last night. And I’m out now.

CO: Okaaaaay. So you will do it later today?

Me: I don’t think so. I’m spending the night on Sentosa.

CO: So can you get it done by Monday morning?

Me: (starting to get irritated) I do have to work on Monday morning, you know.

Me: Uh-huh. I don’t need it immediately. So I’ll get you the forms when I have time to do so, OK? (hangs up firmly)

So I print out those damn forms, zap my identity card and fax the whole thing over at Monday lunchtime. Like, that should be it, right? Guess what. Wrong again. Phone rings Monday afternoon.

CO: Hello, Dr. Katie!

Me: (tries to refrain from taking the good Lord’s name in vain, and ends up with very tightly clenched teeth) Yessssss?

CO: I got the documents you faxed.

Me: Yesssssssssssss?

CO: But I cannot see your IC details. You should have photocopied it at 200% size, and made it 40 – 80% lighter, you know.

Me: (thinks: how the F would I have known that?) So you need another copy.

CO: That’s right. Could you do it right away, ma’am?

Me: No (if ‘no’ contained sibilants, it would have sounded very different)! I am not in the office now! I can’t do it before tomorrow.

CO: By what time tomorrow?

Me: (hangs up)

Nonetheless, I do get the damn IC enlarged and faxed over by Tuesday morning. Phone rings Tuesday afternoon. No one is surprised anymore.

Me: (rudely cuts off CO’s greeting) I ALREADY FAXED IT TO YOU!!!

CO: Yes, that’s right.

Me: And???

CO: I would like to introduce to you our link-up with Mastercard. Did you know that Citibank-Mastercard is internationally recognized? You will enjoy many benefits when you travel. And there’s no charge for three years!

Me: I already have Mastercard.

CO: But Citibank-Mastercard is internationally recognized to bring you many benefits! And there’s no charge for three years!

Me: (suppresses a loud scream)

That wasn’t the last time she called me that day. She was really on a roll.

CO: Dr. Katie, the address on your IC is different from the billing address you wrote on the form (this is true; I never bothered to get it changed when I moved out).

Me: Yes, it is different.

CO: So the billing address you want is <reads out my current address>?

Me: Yes, that’s right.

CO: And can I verify that you want us to send all correspondance to this address?

Me: (can’t help it) Yessssssssss.

CO: Then I will need you to send me billing proof.

Me: Huh?

CO: (slowly and deliberately) Billiiiing prooooooof, ma’am.

Me: What is billing proof?

CO: Proof that your bills get sent there.

Me: (thinks: F this cow) What sort of proof?

CO: Like, your handphone bill, or another credit card bill. You know, to show that your bills get sent to the address that you gave.

Me: You want me to send you my other bills?!

CO: (approvingly) That’s right, ma’am.

Me: I never heard of such a thing before! And I opted for e-statements anyway! That’s supposed to be paperless, isn’t it?!

CO: (cheerfully) But we will still need billing proof!

Grrrrr… if she calls me one more time I’m cancelling the damn application.

Welcome to my blog!

My blog-name is Katie but I will not respond if you call me that in real life because it's not my real name. Yes, I do practise virtual-world paranoia. No, I do not enjoy stalkers. But I do enjoy writing and having folks reading said writing, so welcome to my world. It's nice to meet you.

Archives

Meta

Don’t say I didn’t say this…

Disclaimers:
1) I cannot help but bitch about work sometimes, but everything here comes under the realm of personal remarks, and nothing here is said in my professional capacity. Nor does anything here reflect the opinion of the institutions that employ me. This is just me shooting off.
2) Most identities have been anonymized, particularly those of folks I know on a personal basis. Same goes for my workplaces. However, commercial and public places and figures remain named. Otherwise some things just wouldn't make sense.
3) Links and sources have been provided where appropriate and possible. They are not meant to challenge anyone's ownership. If this causes any discomfort or offence, please let me know.

Visited

79,061 times since 10 March 2009. Thank you and I hope to see you again!