Writing an Online Personal Ad

Here's a rule I want you guys out there to remember: Don't be afraid to scare away the women you don't want.

Sounds kind of obvious, but you'd be amazed how many guys are trying to create the profile that wins them all. Or they go into this with the idea that they can avoid offending anyone.

Life is hard. Wear a cup.

As I like to say.

So, when writing your profile, write it with the person in mind you want to read it and go, "Hey, that's cool..." Write with your audience in mind.

Now, let me clear something up right now:

No matter how much or how clearly you write what you WANT in your profile, you will have tons of women read it and THINK that's them - or WANT to think that it's them.

In other words, saying what you want doesn't get you what you want online. It's not like making a grocery list. You'll get women who are 20-30 pounds overweight who haven't seen a gym since sixth grade writing you, even though you asked for someone who you can "workout with."

It never ceases to amaze me what I used to get all the time. It got so bad I almost wanted to start writing:
"ALL FAT BROADS NEED NOT APPLY."

Kinda harsh, but come on, man. What part of "athletic build" did you not understand?

So, with that in mind, here's the way you need to construct your profile:

Make it FUN.

Just go crazy with it. Have a blast. Don't worry about getting all specific about your description so that you get the perfect woman. The fact is that the woman that will match you will probably not really match her own profile after you get to know her.

Sad truth.

So what you have to do is just inject your profile with a bunch of fun stuff that she'll latch on to and go with.

You see, you want the kind of woman who responds to a fun and offbeat profile. (At least I hope so.) You want a woman with a sense of humor and adventure.

And that kind of woman WILL respond to a more laid back and less specific profile.

Face it - you'll probably end up screening out most of them on the phone anyway, so why try to do too much unnecessary work in your online information? It doesn't work, so you might as well cast a wider net.
Plus, when guys state what they want in their profiles, women actually LOOK to exclude themselves based on their INTERPRETATION of what you said.

And we know how well they do that.

And remember that you can't TELL her you're this or that (such as a "bad boy...")

A real bad boy would never SAY it.

Instead you must SHOW it. With your words and your cocky attitude.

Try this:

"So if you're the kind of girl that likes eating fruit off the tree, or off the stomach of a really close buddy, or you just like to lick your fingers and pretend, I won't tell... Or maybe you're the kind of girl who's daring enough to jump in a cool lake on a hot day with her clothes on ... So why are you still reading this? Send me an email! The worst thing that could happen is that you fall madly in love with my dimples and start stalking me. Wait, on second thought..."

See how that works? I just totally riffed that off the top of my head, and I'm sure it shows, but it's unique and it doesn't scream out NEEDY WUSS. It stands out.

Now all you have to do is come up with some of these on your own. It's not hard. Just sit down and start typing some experimental stuff into your computer.

Remember, if it doesn't work, you can always revise and change it. Nothing is permanent in cyberspace.