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I was wondering when I’d get my ‘magic’ back. Today it did! I biked through the city on my way to the sauna and passed this marvelous second-hand shop. Outside were four crates of 1,5 by 1,5 by 1,0m high filled with books. As I biked past I thought: ‘check out these books because the AA book you are looking for is in there.’ So I turned and started searching. There were a few guys searching too and at a certain moment guy 1 and I got to speak. He spoke and said stuff…. it made no sense to me, his mind looked all over the place and I kept thinking: keep on speaking with the guy because something is coming up. And suddenly he said:

‘I need to clear my mind, let it come to rest.’

‘That is funny, I was thinking of the same thing yesterday. And now I am looking for a book that is connected with the process I am in.’ At which moment I picked up a book called ‘synchronicity’ (not by Jung). I laughed and said: Funny, we think about the same thing and I pick up this book on synchronicity.

‘That is funny, I have heard about synchronicity all my life but only yesterday I learned what it meant. Jung, it is from Jung. At which moment he picks up Jung’s book on dreams and symbols…

I thought that I had misunderstood my earlier message from me to me so I checked internally if this was what I was supposed to pick up or learn and the answer was: ‘No, you need to find the book.’

And at that moment guy 3, a meter away from me, picks up the AA twelve steps book I had searched for -from the bottom of the case where I can’t even reach- and he puts it away…. so I can put it on my pile. 🙂 🙂 🙂

2 Hours later in the sauna I meet a guy who starts talking to me and suddenly says: ‘You have a very clear goal.’ If only he knew… yes, being clear IS the goal. And: ‘You have magic, I can feel that, it is around you.’

Magic, synchronicity, (?pick-up line?) Who knows, but I certainly had a thing today with men that say strange stuff. Just wondering: did you ever walk around naked saying ‘you have magic, I can feel it.’ to somebody? And at the moment itself it seemed PERFECTLY normal, well, maybe a bit strange, but totally in sync with the happenings of the day. 🙂

Important to me: what was lost is back. To me, well these are funny examples, but to me, not drinking is strongly linked to this strange possibility I discovered in my and outside my brain. It diminishes with alcohol and when the addict lying started I lost touch with it. That is the price of addiction. And now I am feeling my way back into life. Or in other words:

Look and you shall find, ask and you shall be given, knock and you shall be opened.

Happy that I quit although tonight was the first moment I had a craving that lasted, well 10 seconds or so but that is big for me. The foundling has got a new home and is leaving tomorrow. Which is good but I cannot appreciate it. 😦 Sad now. One of the neighbours fell in love with him. He needs his own Human but I am sad to see him go because he is such a bundle of joy. Oooh life, all this saying goodbye.