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I started coaching with Bari in August 2009. In the nearly 10 months that followed, I could tell that I was getting closer and closer to finding the right man for me, because the men I dated were getting better. I was no longer going after the "wrong type."

I met Vadim on JDate. We had instant chemistry, and even though he gave me every reason in the world not to date him, I knew I had to get to know him! After 3 days of talking on the phone, he asked when he could meet me.

I flew to Michigan 10 days after meeting him on JDate. We really hit it off, and I remember thinking after our first real date that I had just had my last first date.

2 months in, I asked him his timeline for marriage. Because he wasn't looking to get married, he said around 2 years.

I followed with, "That doesn't work for me."

He asked me my timeline. I said "max? 6 months!"

He laughed and choked on his water.

2 months later, we got engaged. 4 months later, we were married. It will be 7 years in December, and we couldn't be happier.

I really cannot express how valuable Bari’s coaching and support were.Naomi + VadimMICHIGAN

Dating Camp is Phase 2 of the Meet to Marry Method and is open only to Finding The One Phase 1 alumni, so your first step is to register for a complimentary Breakthrough to Love Session to learn more about Finding the One and the Meet to Marry Method.

Click to below to register for your session.

First Name *

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If you want more information about Finding the One and the Meet to Marry Method, your first step is setup a Breakthrough To Love Session. In that session we’ll take a look at where you are, your goals and create a plan to make it happen.

First Name *

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Invididual Mentorship is a good fit for those who really prefer to work one-on-one and feel they would be more successful with that kind of targeted support and accountability. Our Individual Mentorship clients get access to Finding the One and Dating Camp and a personal, customized guidance through the entire experience. To learn more and to register, schedule a complimentary Breakthrough To Love Session.

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Where should we send your result?

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By taking this assessment, you're agreeing to receive emails from Meet to Marry. You can unsubscribe at any time. Your email address will NEVER be shared or sold.

Step 1 of 10

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First Name*

Email*

1. Do you believe you will meet your ideal spouse?*

A. Yes, I am sure I will meet my ideal marriage partner because I am open, warm, and trusting of myself and my judgment. I have faith that timing is a critical element in life, so I put myself in favorable situations.

B. I believe I will, but it will take time, patience, and a lot of hard work.

C. I think any two people can be right for each other, if they’re both willing to work at it.

D. I guess it’s possible, but I’ve had a lot of bad experiences.

2. Are you clear about the kind of relationship you would like to have and the kind of person you would like to marry?*

A. Yes, I’m clear. I have clear vision of the future I’d like to create, how I’d like to feel in a relationship, and the kind of person I’d like to marry. I know myself well, including my values and emotional needs.

B. I have a pretty good idea but could use some more clarity about how to know if someone is right for me and if I’m truly marriage ready.

C. I know exactly what I want. I’m looking for someone of a certain age with certain interests, and I will not deviate from that mold. Why should I?

D. I don’t really know what I am looking for, so I give everyone a chance, but no one is ever right.

3. Do you make dating a priority?*

A. Yes, since getting married is one of my life goals, dating is a top priority for me. I allot time every week in my calendar even though I am very busy. I do this as I would with any activity that is a priority in my life.

B. I am very busy, so I squeeze in dating and dating activities when I can, which causes my dating to become sporadic and inconsistent.

C. I am not comfortable with “scheduling” dating time and dating-related activities. I believe that it will just happen organically.

D. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date.

4. Do you spend time with former spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, or dates that didn’t work out romantically?*

A. Spending time with former dates and exes can clog me up energetically. If a date tells me “let’s just be friends,” my position is that I am committed to finding my future spouse and the father or mother of my children, so friendship at this time is not an option.

B. I spend time with friends of the same gender, but sometimes if a date doesn’t work out, that person may become a friend.

C. I have a lot of friends who I formerly dated, and I even give them advice about dating. I think it’s fine. You never know if things will turn around.

D. Former girlfriends/boyfriends are fun to spend time with, and they keep me busy while I’m looking for “the one.”

5. Do you have closure on past relationships?*

A. Yes, all my relationships from the past are closed books. We have gone our separate ways.

B. There is one former love who I still think about occasionally when I feel lonely, but there is nothing there.

C. I can’t seem to let go of a past love, so I keep the door open just in case.

D. I don’t want to close the door with an ex because you never know what could happen.

6. Do you feel good about yourself and how you present yourself to the world in terms of your attitude, clothing, grooming, etc.?*

A. Yes, I do. I take care of myself and do my best to feel healthy, be happy, and to present myself in the best light possible. I know that if I feel good about myself, I will radiate positivity and attract good things in my life.

B. I feel pretty good about my appearance, but I could definitely do some more in terms of presentation. If I did, I’m sure I would feel more self-confident.

C. I feel insecure in several areas, and I’m sure it keeps my energy low. I could use some advice, but I don’t know where to begin.

D. I’m happy the way I am, and I don’t have time to pay attention to such things. Someone will just have to like me as I am.

7. How would you classify your life these days while you are single?*

A. I have a full and happy life in all areas with a great support system of friends, family and interests. My life will be complemented and all the more complete when I meet my ideal spouse. In the meantime, I continue to develop myself and prepare to welcome him/her into my life when it happens.

B. My life is complete in most areas, but I do feel a little frustrated about this “I’m still single and everyone else is married” thing.

C. I feel somewhat lonely and depressed. I wonder what’s wrong with me and if I’ll ever find the one and get married.

D. I hate being single. I really question my lovability. I need to meet someone.

8. I believe I can meet my ideal marriage partner in the following ways and under the following conditions:*

A. I am open to meeting someone in a variety of ways. I am open-minded and don’t judge different venues based on past experiences. I understand that my future spouse is also searching for me and our paths may cross in unexpected ways, including through internet dating, introductions, a chance meeting or at a random event.

B. I’m open to different possibilities, but I have had some bad experiences at various events, so I won’t go to them anymore.

C. I only date by introduction and don’t trust the internet. I’ve only met losers on the internet and I don’t talk to strangers. I don’t want to expose myself.

D. I believe my ideal mate will find me somehow, so I don’t have to put myself out there.

9. I am serious about finding the one, so I handle dates as follows:*

A. After first speaking on the phone to establish whether or not we have similar visions, common values, and/or life goals, I agree to meet for coffee for a first date. I give my date my full attention even if he/she is not a match.

B. I meet dates for dinner and am a pretty active listener, but if after a while I feel he/she isn’t the one, I drift off or just talk about myself.

C. I don’t have a format for dating, so it could be dinner or a movie, and at the end of the date I keep things vague so I can think about the situation later.

D. If I’m not interested in my date or it drags out too long, I look around the room to see who else interesting might be there. This way, it isn’t a waste of time.

10. I want to get married now because:*

A. I’ll be a great spouse! I know myself very well, understand what I am looking for in a marriage partner and can clearly envision the kind of life I want to create. I am genuinely ready to share my life with someone in a wonderfully committed and loving relationship.

B. The time has come where I feel I want to share my life with someone and experience what it would be like to take care of someone else and to be taken care of.

C. I think I am ready and want to take the leap into new waters.

D. I hate being single. I really question my lovability. I need to meet someone. I don’t want to be alone anymore, and I just hope it’s not too late for me.

Hi all. I’m just sharing the exciting news in my life. Steve just proposed to me right after midnight New Year’s. It was such a wonderful experience and I am so grateful to you, Bari, and the group for being a part of my journey and growth.

I started with one-on-one sessions with Bari and I learned so much about myself and my fears/blockages.

I pretended they didn’t affect me or bother me, but they really did hold me back. My personal growth has affected much more in my life than dating, it has helped all relationships, allowed me to realize the positive people to surround myself with and the negative people to spend less time with and has helped me with my career. I have a full-time job that I feel isn’t the best for me, so I recently also began a casual job at our local hospital.

Positive action steps move each of us forward to realizing our goals in life. Thank-you all and I’m so happy for all of you - wherever you are in your journey. Believe you will find your soulmate and it will happen!

Good things are happening!

Trisha + SteveVancouver, Canada

I love being married--I'm so happy! I met my husband just 4 months after starting Make It Happen This Year. We were married just 3 months after that. The Meet To Marry Method, the inner work exercises and the supportive community changed my life. Thank you Bari.

Jen + ErikBAL HARBOUR, FL

You are a blessing, Bari. I have found an amazing amazing amazing man…something I’ve always dreamed of and cannot believe it’s happening!! THANK YOU for supporting me through the process!!!

His name is Bud, by the way : )

NancyColumbus, OH

I am so grateful for you and this program. My guy is simply amazing and I can clearly see a paradigm shift in the way I am being. The things you taught and spoke about have come to fruition and made it all happen. My communication is on point and it is just an amazing thing to see. I feel heard and understood, I don't have to be afraid to discuss anything. Our relationship has just gotten better as time has gone on.

RachelNew York, NY

Everything is amazing!!! I couldn't be happier with my boyfriend and my life! He is everything I wanted and more! I feel so secure in our relationship and have never been able to be this open with communication with any man before. We are planning a trip to Israel in June so I can meet his family where they all live. Also talking about moving in together in a few months. I am so grateful for your help and guidance. You've allowed me to grow and be open which was something I have always struggled with.

MonicaLos Angeles, CA

Bari Lyman, your words were a balm to the soul. I find that so often we stick around with someone, even if there are red flags or issues because we are told that good men are hard to come by and if you find a decent guy you need to stick around. Thank you for grounding!

ShiraJERUSALEM, ISRAEL

In the past I would like someone and yet didn't at all identify and pay attention to the values, goals and how they lined up (and in my case, how they did NOT line up!!).
Bari, I'm truly approaching dating so differently and I'm so proud of myself. I'm so thankful for your guidance and support. You are very gifted.

BeckyNew York, NY

Thank you, Bari Lyman for helping me see the true me, who I am now and giving me the courage to be true to myself!

JenniferPhoenix, AZ

Gregg (that's his name) really is wonderful!! So open and definitely a secure attachment type, like you pointed out. So much different than the avoidant types I dated for so long. It's so refreshing!!!! Thank you, Bari. I can't say that enough. You changed my life more than you know. It seeps into other areas of my life too. With friends, my parents, etc. And you can quote me on that too. Lol.

Erika

You got to the core issues fast and I was able to recognize when my inner child would come out and act out and why. This was intense counseling and lots of healing and awareness in a short amount of time, where counseling never addressed these issues or healed them. I think helps you to be real with your self and others so there would be less game playing and not so much emphasis placed on impressing each other, just being real and honest. The homework was very powerful. Everyone could tell a huge difference in my demeanor after the first week I started this; it gave my confidence in myself.

I loved all of it (the course work) but really the empowering statement. That was one of the most powerful, enriching things to discover about myself.

I've just been having so much fun lately, I feel at ease with the world and with myself and I told my accountability partner I've just been enjoying my life so much I haven't really even though that much about finding a partner.

The courses approach is perfectly methodical and builds on each step of the journey of self realization, release of blockages and building a healthy approach to self and to building a solid relationship true to oneself.

Vanessa + MichaelNew York, NY

This story (I'll make it brief) goes to show the importance of patience, belief in yourself, and faith that, as Bari says, everything is the way it's supposed to be.

Adam & I actually met almost 3 years ago. We did the long distance thing on and off, which was challenging for many reasons. After a break of about 9 mths, we bumped into each other in synagogue on Yom Kippur of all days. He called me the night after saying he had relocated to my area, got a good job, resolved a bunch of issues in his private life, and wanted to try again.

Thanks to Bari's Meet to Marry Method coaching, I was able to approach this time around differently. I was more grounded, focused, and we agreed that we would date "for real" this time: no games, no fooling around, keeping it focused & private. Instead of asking him a question & anticipating the right answer I wanted, I kept my mind and heart open & LISTENED to him. We talked about our answers without judgement or criticism to see if we are compatible. When we decided we were ready, we then told our friends and became a couple once again.

I must say that Finding The One has been extremely helpful for me. It made me realize that I was closing myself off to love due to my fears and insecurities. Beforehand, I had convinced myself that there was something wrong with *him* if he loved *me* (because how could anyone really, truly love me?). I actually felt threatened by affection. So little by little with Bari's guidance, I wrote about it, thought about it, let go, and enjoyed the journey.

We are both in awe how different this experience has been for both of us. It's more solid, grounded, and we're focused on what *we* want, not what others impose on us.

We're planning on getting married in late May! Wooo-hooooooooooo

Jessica + AdamJerusalem, Israel

Not so long ago, I was stuck in a frustrating pattern of attracting—and staying in—relationships with men who didn’t value me or treat me the right way. It was like I was addicted to guys who didn’t want to get married—who couldn’t commit—who didn’t want what I wanted. I was 34 and felt like my life and dreams of love were flying by. I was so stuck and frustrated.

Thanks to you, Working with you in this results-oriented way helped me finally understand why I kept getting stuck in these unworkable relationships. I knew these relationships weren’t what I wanted, but I just couldn’t figure out what was going on. To make matters worse, when I met marriage-minded guys, I didn’t want them. I wasn’t attracted to them. You not only helped me get to the root of the problem. You helped me dissolve the problem and that—combined with the new dating strategies you taught me—drew me right to the man who’s now my husband. I’m deeply attracted to him—spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, and physically. I am so happy!

Dina + OferLos Angeles, CA

Full Name

Email

Profession

How did you hear about Bari and Meet to Marry?

Age

Gender

Male

Female

Marital Status

Single - Never Married

Divorced

Widow/Widower

Other

How long have you been dating?

Less than a year

1 - 3 years

3 - 5 years

5 -10 years

10 or more years

Other

What are your marriage goals? *

What do you think might be getting in your way in terms of finding “the one”? *

What, if anything, are you doing (or have you done) to overcome these obstacles? Why haven’t these approaches worked?

If you could easily change 3 things in your love life, what would they be?

On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to changing your dating experience so that you can find your perfect match and enjoy the benefits of true love?

Is there anything else you’d like me to know about your situation, challenges, or special circumstances?

My exclusive individual mentorship program is for those who are committed to transforming their love life and meeting their perfect match this year. Are you willing to invest time and money towards achieving this important goal?

Yes

No

Once you submit your application, you'll be taken to my private calendar so that we can schedule a session to get to know each other. That phone session - entirely complimentary - will help you learn more about the individual mentorship program to ensure you're a good fit.

You got to the core issues fast and I was able to recognize when my inner child would come out and act out and why. This was intense counseling and lots of healing and awareness in a short amount of time, where counseling never addressed these issues or healed them. I think helps you to be real with your self and others so there would be less game playing and not so much emphasis placed on impressing each other, just being real and honest. The homework was very powerful. Everyone could tell a huge difference in my demeanor after the first week I started this; it gave my confidence in myself.

I loved all of it (the course work) but really the empowering statement. That was one of the most powerful, enriching things to discover about myself.

I've just been having so much fun lately, I feel at ease with the world and with myself and I told my accountability partner I've just been enjoying my life so much I haven't really even though that much about finding a partner.

The courses approach is perfectly methodical and builds on each step of the journey of self realization, release of blockages and building a healthy approach to self and to building a solid relationship true to oneself.

AmberLos Angeles, CA

Here is an update about Dennis. He is perhaps the kindest person I have ever met (but he's from NY so he still has an edge - you know what I mean), interesting, open with all of his emotions, loving to me making me feel: safe, cherished, feminine, connected and valued.

We made a pact at the beginning of the weekend that nothing would be off limits in terms of discussion, because we both wanted to be up front about all of our needs and share what makes us who we are. It was truly a beautiful weekend.

I don't want to say I'm in shock, because I knew this moment would come, but how it came to be and so quickly within the past couple of weeks I guess is the surprising part.

I appreciate myself for doing all the hard work to get here, but I wanted to say thank you to you from the bottom of my heart for leading me to this place.

JodiSan Francisco, CA

I am so grateful for you and this program. You know how things started with the guy I'm dating right now It is just amazinging to see the paradigm shift and to see that a lot of things you taught and spoke about come to fruition. Like when it's right it's right, it's easy, it flows, you don't question yourself you don't question him, he empowers you, your not stuck in your own head questioning. The communication is on point and it is just an amazing thing to see, especially because it is the longest relationship I have had, and the best by far. I feel heard and understood, I don't have to be afraid to discuss anything and he tries his best to understand. It has just gotten better as time has gone on

RachelMiami, FL

Everything is amazing!!! I couldn't be happier with my boyfriend and my life! He is everything I wanted and more! I feel so secure in our relationship and have never been able to be this open with communication with any man before. We are planning a trip to Israel in June so I can meet his family where they all live. Also talking about moving in together in a few months. I am so grateful for your help and guidance. You've allowed me to grow and be open which was something I have always struggled with.

MonicaNew York, NY

I met someone through a work related project and talked and got to know each other. ...he met my whole family the day after our first date! He blended in so well with my family and was beyond anything I could have ever hoped for as to how he was with my family.

I could not believe it! My family thought we had been dating awhile because we acted as though we knew each other over 2 yrs!
….In over 30 years, my family have never liked anyone I've ever dated, until now. This is the first guy they have ever liked, and really like him a lot!!

My mom said it fits like a glove and he meshes with our family like he's a part of it. Everything flows so easily with him, he goes out of his way to do things for me, is a true gentleman.
….I feel so adored, appreciated, accepted, loved and SO MUCH MORE words can't describe.

He's everything I had on my list and MORE! I had disbelief that the man I was looking for was out there, I was wrong.

So don't doubt. Just believe and do everything Bari Lyman says and it works!! I found him (or God brought us together) within less than a year! The more we talk the more we have in common. Our beliefs are the same and he's even wanting to start attending my church! Wishing everyone a Blessed New Year on finding the one!

LaSheyDallas, TX

I’ve totally met my soul mate. He’s incredibly expressive and this week said he wants to spend his life with me. It’s so mutual, so comfortable and I’m crazy about him. I do find some of my old fears creeping up from time to time (and even some new ones that I was unaware of), but we talk about them openly, which is so cool. I am SOOOO grateful to you and this program, Bari. I can pretty much say with certainty that I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the work I did.

He is really is wonderful!! So open and definitely a secure attachment type, like you pointed out. So much different than the avoidant types I dated for so long. It’s so refreshing!!!! Thank you, Bari. I can’t say that enough. You changed my life more than you know. It seeps into other areas of my life too. With friends, my parents, etc. And you can quote me on that too. Lol.

ErikaMiami, FL

Just 7 months after I started the program, I met the most amazing man and we’ve been in a serious committed relationship ever since. The program immediately made me feel more positive and as though a massive weight was lifted. My whole perspective on love, relationships, and myself changed right away. I realized that there’s nothing wrong with me. The exercises and tools you provided were really helpful.

Melanie + MartinNew York, NY

I had always attracted men who were not available at an emotional level and did not fulfill my emotional needs. I had settled for unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships in the past.

In the program, I learned that believing in myself and committing the MTM program was instrumental to my success. I verified that the MTM slogan ¨Be the one to find the one¨ is essential. Once I learned to identify my core values and relationship vision, I was able to attract the right person.

Now that I´ve met my soul mate, my life has been enhanced and elevated.

I feel loved, cherished and truly valued. Our relationship allows us to share love and to become better as individuals and as a couple. I feel more energized motivated, and my life is more meaningful. Finding true love is a privilege accessible to all who truly commit full heartedly. I am eternally grateful! Thank you!!!Pamela + SteveBogata Colombia and Gainsville FL

I want everyone to know that what you want is there for you…all you need to do is get out of your own way and have someone help you break through your ‘blind spots.’ I waited until I was 54…don’t wait like I did! It really doesn’t take long with the Meet To Marry Method.

It happened really fast for me and I am still at times blown away but in a good way… we travel together, he takes care of me, makes me coffee, opens doors for me…he even cleans the tub so I can enjoy my baths. But most of all, I learned how to communicate from my heart. For the first time in my life, my emotional needs are being met and I feel safe and cared for and loved and beautiful.

Joan + BrentHawaii and Salt Lake City, UT

I knew almost immediately that he was the one! Crazy how that happens. I truly feel that the work we did helped me to get ready for John and without it, I would have been dating the same guys and having the same results.

Beth + JohnChicago IL

We got engaged last Wednesday. . .just three months after we met. I actually met her on the first night I went out after not having dated for months. She is spectacular. She is nothing I could have imagined but everything I could have wished for. Your approach works! I couldn’t be happier.

Bernard and SusanMontclair, NJ

Working with you changed my life permanently and immediately. Before working with you, I was discouraged and disappointed. Your no-nonsense style helped me recognize and avoid my own destructive and unsatisfying patterns (which I’d still be repeating if I hadn’t teamed up with you).Your method empowered me to examine my behaviors and see them really clearly—and without judgment—which, in turn, freed me to discover who I really am and what really matters deep down in my soul when it comes to relationships. I wanted a marriage that was alive and that allowed me to thrive. You put me on a fast track for finding that special man who meets these needs, and you were always at the ready and available when I needed you—even with the simplest concerns or when I needed help with how to handle delicate or crucial topics. You showed me how to quickly catch myself whenever I began to stumble back into my old ways.I started feeling this incredible optimism and excitement about my future and was truly ready for the right one when he appeared. In fact, I found “the one” and just got married to this wonderful man who meets my needs. He didn’t have your direct coaching, but he, too, benefits from the coaching I received. It’s beautiful. I love sharing with him what I learned, and we love watching it shape our lives.

Thanks to you, I’m living the life I’ve always dreamed of. We inspire each other to become better people and are creating the most loving life together, sharing the deep emotional intimacy that God created for us to share with each other.

Peggy + GlennSatellite Beach, FL

Right from the start, you saw hope and potential. You knew I could meet the right man for me even though I was still reeling from my divorce and feeling very defensive. Honestly, at first I was very reluctant and resisted the weekly group coaching calls, but I started to feel different as soon as I started the Finding The One course. The clarity I was getting from the modules and the support I was receiving from you and the group made me feel that I was doing something for myself and my life that was going to change my trajectory forever. I really opened up to the reality that meeting the right person to marry could—and would—change everything for me and would be the most important decision I could make.The biggest breakthrough I got was getting clear on my emotional needs and how I wanted to feel in a relationship. I realized that I need—and deserve—to be cherished, loved, listened to, admired, and respected. Once I understood that, there wasn’t anymore of what you call “mystery dating.” I used to be willing to go out with a guy 7 times just to give him a fair chance and make sure he wasn’t for me, but the clarity I developed in the course helped me stop wasting time with people who weren’t a good fit.

Finding The One helped me realize why I was always meeting men who weren’t emotionally available and who would disrespect me on dates by staring at other women. They were kind and friendly. All of them were successful and mostly attractive, but they were closed off, and I just didn’t feel it. I had my own inner work to do because these men were reflecting old beliefs about myself that were actually preventing me from getting what I really wanted and needed.

These changes ultimately made room for me to be open and clear when I met the man who is now my husband. As soon as I met him, I just liked him. I liked talking with him and we laughed. I felt nervous but comfortable, and we had a lot in common even though our stories were very different. I immediately felt that he was “cool” and wanted to see him again. Lucky for me, he felt the same way and made it clear he wanted to see me again. I felt appreciated and cherished right from the start.

Just 3 months after meeting, we got married.

I am so glad that I decided to join the course and even do some private coaching with you. I wouldn’t have met such a great man and been able to enjoy such great love if I didn’t give myself the gift of working with you. Your tough love, no-nonsense, and very clear minded approach were invaluable and get me focused on my goal. Thank you!!!!

Marisa + Ben New York, NY

Step 1 of 11 - 1/10

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1. Do you believe you will meet your ideal spouse?*

A. Yes, I am sure I will meet my ideal marriage partner because I am open, warm, and trusting of myself and my judgment. I have faith that timing is a critical element in life, so I put myself in favorable situations.

B. I believe I will, but it will take time, patience, and a lot of hard work.

C. I think any two people can be right for each other, if they’re both willing to work at it.

D. I guess it’s possible, but I’ve had a lot of bad experiences.

2. Are you clear about the kind of relationship you would like to have and the kind of person you would like to marry?*

A. Yes, I’m clear. I have clear vision of the future I’d like to create, how I’d like to feel in a relationship, and the kind of person I’d like to marry. I know myself well, including my values and emotional needs.

B. I have a pretty good idea but could use some more clarity about how to know if someone is right for me and if I’m truly marriage ready.

C. I know exactly what I want. I’m looking for someone of a certain age with certain interests, and I will not deviate from that mold. Why should I?

D. I don’t really know what I am looking for, so I give everyone a chance, but no one is ever right.

3. Do you make dating a priority?*

A. Yes, since getting married is one of my life goals, dating is a top priority for me. I allot time every week in my calendar even though I am very busy. I do this as I would with any activity that is a priority in my life.

B. I am very busy, so I squeeze in dating and dating activities when I can, which causes my dating to become sporadic and inconsistent.

C. I am not comfortable with “scheduling” dating time and dating-related activities. I believe that it will just happen organically.

D. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date.

4. Do you spend time with former spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, or dates that didn’t work out romantically?*

A. Spending time with former dates and exes can clog me up energetically. If a date tells me “let’s just be friends,” my position is that I am committed to finding my future spouse and the father or mother of my children, so friendship at this time is not an option.

B. I spend time with friends of the same gender, but sometimes if a date doesn’t work out, that person may become a friend.

C. I have a lot of friends who I formerly dated, and I even give them advice about dating. I think it’s fine. You never know if things will turn around.

D. Former girlfriends/boyfriends are fun to spend time with, and they keep me busy while I’m looking for “the one.”

5. Do you have closure on past relationships?*

A. Yes, all my relationships from the past are closed books. We have gone our separate ways.

B. There is one former love who I still think about occasionally when I feel lonely, but there is nothing there.

C. I can’t seem to let go of a past love, so I keep the door open just in case.

D. I don’t want to close the door with an ex because you never know what could happen.

6. Do you feel good about yourself and how you present yourself to the world in terms of your attitude, clothing, grooming, etc.?*

A. Yes, I do. I take care of myself and do my best to feel healthy, be happy, and to present myself in the best light possible. I know that if I feel good about myself, I will radiate positivity and attract good things in my life.

B. I feel pretty good about my appearance, but I could definitely do some more in terms of presentation. If I did, I’m sure I would feel more self-confident.

C. I feel insecure in several areas, and I’m sure it keeps my energy low. I could use some advice, but I don’t know where to begin.

D. I’m happy the way I am, and I don’t have time to pay attention to such things. Someone will just have to like me as I am.

7. How would you classify your life these days while you are single?*

A. I have a full and happy life in all areas with a great support system of friends, family and interests. My life will be complemented and all the more complete when I meet my ideal spouse. In the meantime, I continue to develop myself and prepare to welcome him/her into my life when it happens.

B. My life is complete in most areas, but I do feel a little frustrated about this “I’m still single and everyone else is married” thing.

C. I feel somewhat lonely and depressed. I wonder what’s wrong with me and if I’ll ever find the one and get married.

D. I hate being single. I really question my lovability. I need to meet someone.

8. I believe I can meet my ideal marriage partner in the following ways and under the following conditions:*

A. I am open to meeting someone in a variety of ways. I am open-minded and don’t judge different venues based on past experiences. I understand that my future spouse is also searching for me and our paths may cross in unexpected ways, including through internet dating, introductions, a chance meeting or at a random event.

B. I’m open to different possibilities, but I have had some bad experiences at various events, so I won’t go to them anymore.

C. I only date by introduction and don’t trust the internet. I’ve only met losers on the internet and I don’t talk to strangers. I don’t want to expose myself.

D. I believe my ideal mate will find me somehow, so I don’t have to put myself out there.

9. I am serious about finding the one, so I handle dates as follows:*

A. After first speaking on the phone to establish whether or not we have similar visions, common values, and/or life goals, I agree to meet for coffee for a first date. I give my date my full attention even if he/she is not a match.

B. I meet dates for dinner and am a pretty active listener, but if after a while I feel he/she isn’t the one, I drift off or just talk about myself.

C. I don’t have a format for dating, so it could be dinner or a movie, and at the end of the date I keep things vague so I can think about the situation later.

D. If I’m not interested in my date or it drags out too long, I look around the room to see who else interesting might be there. This way, it isn’t a waste of time.

10. I want to get married now because:*

A. I’ll be a great spouse! I know myself very well, understand what I am looking for in a marriage partner and can clearly envision the kind of life I want to create. I am genuinely ready to share my life with someone in a wonderfully committed and loving relationship.

B. The time has come where I feel I want to share my life with someone and experience what it would be like to take care of someone else and to be taken care of.

C. I think I am ready and want to take the leap into new waters.

D. I hate being single. I really question my lovability. I need to meet someone. I don’t want to be alone anymore, and I just hope it’s not too late for me.

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