Tagged Jackass Show Theme

Roger Alan Wade is a country western singer/songwriter with over 20 years in the business. He has written for the likes of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings and George Jones. Hell, he even has a couple of gold records and a #1 song with Hank Williams Jr.’s “Country State of Mind,” to show for it. His “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough” song ended up on the Jackass soundtrack and became the unofficial theme of the movie.

Roger gained national attention when his first cousin, the actor Johnny Knoxville sent some songs he recorded in Knoxville’s living room to Howard Stern. Stern liked them so much he invited Roger to New York to perform live in the studio. The response was so great, the cousins decided to make an album and “All Likkered Up” is the debut release from the new alliance between Oglio Entertainment and Johnny Knoxville Records.

"You just give him a couple of fifths of Crown Royal, a pack of smokes and a case of beer, put him in front of a four track, and get out of the way."
-Johnny Knoxville on recording his cousin Roger Alan Wade on Wade's debut album "All Likkered Up."-

Roger Alan Wade is a country western singer and songwriter with over 20 years in the business. He has written for the likes of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams Jr, and George Jones. Hell, he even has a couple of gold records to show for it. (Actually, that's all he has to show for it, because what the ex-wives didn't take, the IRS did).

He got his first taste of the national attention when his first cousin, the actor Johnny Knoxville (Jackass, Dukes of Hazard Summer 2005) sent some songs Wade recorded in Knoxville's living room to Howard Stern. Stern liked the songs so much he started playing them on the air. Howard even invited Roger to New York to perform such classic hits as Butt Ugly Slut, Poontang, and Gone Back To Whorin' live in the studio on the Howard Stern Show. Rog's music and between song banter of bullshit was a hit with Stern and his audience to say the least. That is when Oglio records first took notice.

Born in Knoxville, he was raised in what Roger describes as "the cultural center of the world," Chattanooga, Tennessee. Wade married at 18, (just like Springsteen said in THE RIVER, "I got my union card and a Wedding Coat") and began his working life as a forklift driver-to this day his favorite profession- later picking up a gig driving a milk truck.

His life-changing moment- "I went to see Waylon at Memorial Auditorium in Chattanooga and thought it was the coolest thing ever. So, the next day I went out and got a guitar. After that, my career started off slow and then tapered off."

Knoxville beams, "Rog is one of the most naturally talented people you'll ever meet. Whether it's writing a song or shooting pool, he has a knack for anything he tries. The problem is he doesn't give a shit. Nashville has come calling in the past but they wanted him to wear this or sing like that, and he said "to hell with 'em" and went back to writing his songs and singing in honky tonks. And when he'd come out to LA to visit we would all get real loaded and sit that last som' bitch in front of a four track and let him sing his crazy-ass songs. One of the songs he recorded "If you're gonna be dumb you gotta be tough" ended up on the Jackass soundtrack and became the unofficial theme of the movie. The other song went to Howard and there was such a great response we decided to make an album."

Now the self-proclaimed "luckiest cat to ever walk in shoe leather" has a new project. Roger says, "We were at Johnny Knoxville's house in the hills above Hollywood, the circus was in town. Me and Knox had run out of gas on the way to the liquor store earlier, but things were starting to shape up. Sam set up the gear in Knox's livin' room and we started rolling words and chords mixed with stories of sluts, angels, whiskey and heroes, outa tune'n out time. Don't look too deep for meaning. We didn't. Everyone was there and we had a hell of a time."

Knoxville says "ever since I was little our family wanted Rog to release an album. Rog wanted to as well but he would only do it on his terms. Stubborn ole ass….."

"I've been trippin' like Dick Van Dyke since I've been 20. Knox believed in me and it seems like we've got a shot now." Hell yea.

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LYRICS

1. Butt Ugly Slut (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
Eagle, buzzard, sparrow, crow take me down where the winds don't blow
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror
And so fat she'll knock a needle off a scale
As long as she buys me a new Zebec
I don't care if she's built like a blue whale
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
Lord she's igner'nt, but she's ugly
Yes she's lazy, but she's mean
I've been to two tent revivals and a chicken fight
And I ain't never seen nuthin'
Like when my little wildebeest tears into a dozen jelly-filled Krispy Kremes
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror
And so fat she'll knock a train off a rail
Well I don't care if she cheats on me
As long she sends me checks in the mail
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
Wahoo

2. Gone Back To Whorin' (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
She's a gone back to whorin'
That's what I heard
She's somewhere snorin'
With some ol' rich bird
You know the things that I gave her
Musta got kinda borin'
Last that I heard, she done
Gone back to whorin'
She's a gone back to whorin'
This ain't the first rodeo
She makin' a fortune
Screwin' dudes she don't know
I asked her she told me
Darlin' It's my job
Suck the chrome off a trailer hitch
Suck the corn off a cob
She done gone back to whorin'
This ain't her first time
I got some lovin'
And I'm down to my last dime
She look like an angel
My life's a wreck
I go from hell straight to heaven
If she'd take a check
She's a gone back to whorin'
She's a good girl
She got fishnet hose
Too much jerry curl
I miss her when I'm lonesome
When I'm horny real bad
She ain't to cheap lord
But she's the best that I've had
She's a gone back to whorin'

3. My Baby Loves Malt Liquor (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
Dennis Knutson, Bullís Creek Music, BMI
My baby...she loves malt liquor
Loves to wash it down with a fightin cock kicker
Just layin' on that big ass clickin' that clicker lord
My baby she love malt liquor
Yeah her ex ol man was guitar picker
Then lord he likely blew his ticker
He couldn't keep his frig full of Colt 45
When the booze ran out she sent him packin'
When lookin' for a man with corporate backin'
Fat lip smackin' neath that big beehive
Yeah she got a pocket book full of cigarettes and Snickers
She got room on her rump for a big bumper sticker
I just glad it don't say honk if I'm ugly and fat
If I had a horn I'd have to blow it
She'd say kiss my ass and then she'd show it
I'd rather go blind than look at somethin' like that
My baby...she loves malt liquor
Loves to wash it down with a fightin cock kicker
Just layin' on her drunk ass clickin' that clicker lord
My baby...she loves malt liquor
Yeah it's been three weeks since she changed them knickers
All she wants to do is drink and bicker
Hell I'd just hose her down and she'd just brush her tooth
She love Bon Bons, Ding Dongs, Birthday cake
She's a wig wearin' walkin' talkin' big earthquake
She ran off gnawin' on a Baby Ruth
My baby...she loves malt liquor
Loves to wash it down with a fightin cock kicker
Just layin' on her drunk ass clickin' that clicker lord
My baby... she loves malt liquor
My baby... she loves malt liquor

4. Poontang (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout just a little poontang
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout a little poontang
She said, A little poontang that's where it's at
Id' Like a little one, too
Mine's As Big As A Hat
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout a little poontang
I took a look, said darlin' is that what ya got
She said, this ain't orange powder and water and you ain't no astronaut
This ain't no breakfast drink kinda thing
You're goin' to the moon real soon with a real poontang
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout just a little poontang
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout a little poontang
She said, A little poontang that's where it's at
Id' Like a little one, too
Mine's As Big As A Hat
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout a little poontang
So I said, "Should I ask her?"
Knoxville says "Hell ya ask her
So I says "Darlin' can I smell your poontang
She says "Why no" So I says "it must be your socks"
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout just a little poontang
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout a little poontang
She said, A little poontang that's where it's at
Id' Like a little one, too
Mine's As Big As A Hat
OOO wee you sweet thang
How 'bout a little poontang
How 'bout it

5. Sweet Wine Of Sorrow (Roger Alan Wade, Shandy Dixon, Carol Moore, Pewee Moore , Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
I's standin in the mornin' rain, outside a Norfolk southern yard
Rollin' dice like a train, the wind was blowin' hard
I'm down twenty to the devil, hell I hope he'll take a check
I kiss his ass till I get level, and I'll break his neck
I have drank from the cup of your soul like there ain't no tomorrow
I was cursed from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
Ah there's things a man can do to himself, where his own parents don't recognize his face
And there's things he does to everybody else that even true love can't erase
And you wind up scattered all in pieces spend your life tryin' to understand
When you figure it out you realize, the selfishness between you and the Promised Land
I have drank from the cup of your soul like there ain't no tomorrow
I been cursed from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
Hallelujah, I'd trade anything I can beg steal or borrow
I was curst from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
Now I'm shattered on the sidewalk, like them dishes that they brought
When you're swollen with my baby and your daddy bought that shot gun n we got caught
Now there ain't much that matters, to tell the truth I still don't understand
So I think I'll go down to Madame Moreass's, just pretend you ever gave a damn
Oh, I have drank from the cup of your soul like there ain't no tomorrow
I was cursed from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
Hallelujah, I'd trade anything I can beg steal or borrow
I was cursed from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow
Baby...I was curst from the first with a thirst for that sweet wine of sorrow

6. All Likkered Up (Roger Alan Wade, John Richard Wade, Songs Of Chandessica, , Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
She was all likkered up
She was all likkered up
She come home late last night
She was all likkered up
She had her red dress tore
Had her red dress tore
She come home late last night
with her red dress tore
She was all likkered up
She had her lipstick smeared
Had her lipstick smeared
She come home late last night lipstick smeared, and her red dress tore
She was all likkered up
High heels in her hands
High heels in her hands
Yeah she come home late last night high heels in her hands, her red dress tore, her lipstick smeared, all likkered up
Had her paycheck blown. Had her paycheck blown.
Yeah she come home late last night with her paycheck blown
Her lipstick smeared, high heels in her hands, her red dress tore, She was all likkered up
She was doin' the hootchie-cootchie
She was doin' the hootchie-cootchie.
Yeah she come home late last night, her paycheck blown, her lipstick smeared, high heels in her hands, her red dress tore, doin' the hootchie-cootchie
all likkered up
She had lovin' on her mind
She had lovin' on her mind
She come home late last night with lovin' on her mind, doin' the hootchie-cootchie,
paycheck blown, lipstick smeared, high heels in her hands, red dress tore, and a partridge in a pear tree
She was all likkered up
She was all likkered up
Come home late last night all likkered up
She was all likkered up
All likkered up
She come her big ass home at 4 in the mornin', paycheck blown, lipstick smeared, high heels in her hand, red dress torn a doin' the hootchie-cootchie, fallin' out of a yellow cab
I said, "where's your big ass been Edna since 4 in the mornin'?"
She spit popcorn on me and said "Big Lots"
Some dude rolled outta there and throwed up on my PF Flyers
Said good to meet ya dude
I said, "Dude best thing you can do is take your dog and get to the house
I said "Edna you need to get in there and brush your tooth and get on to work
You come in her drunk. She says, "I'm not drunk. I've been drinkin' that jaegersmeisters all night but I'm not drunk...brother
I'm all likkered up
She's all likkered up
Oh, baby come home late last night, she was all likkered up
She's was all likkered up.
She's all likkered up
She come home late last night she was all likkered up

7. If Your Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
When you get knocked down you gotta get back up,
I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know enough, to know,
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
I lit my brain with rotgut whisky
Till my pain was chicken fried
I've had dudes with badges frisk me,
Teach me how to swallow pride
I took advice no fool would take
I got some habits, I can't shake
I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know enough, to know,
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough!
When you get knocked down you gotta get back up.
That's the way it is in life and love
If your gonna be dumb you gotta be tough.
I've been up and down and down and out
I've been left and right and wrong
Will walk the walk and run my mouth
Been on that short end for to long
But if they gave metals for honkie tonk wars
Hell I'd keep mine in my chest o' drawers
Well my IRS bills and divorce papers and all that stuff
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough!
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough!
When you get knocked down you gotta get back up.
I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know enough, to know,
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

8. Chicken Song (Roger Alan Wade, Songs Of Chandessica, Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
A chicken wakes up to a new world every day
Far as a chicken's concerned everything's A-OK
A chicken don't worry 'bout nothin' but cluckin' and the price of eggs today
And don't worry much about that
'Cause what the farmer don't snatch before she can hatch
Aww the weasel's gonna steal 'em anyway
A chicken wakes up to a new world every day
You reckon a chicken ever finds herself frettin' about getting' old and ugly and fat?
I know a chicken's kind of dim, but I'm goin' out on a limb and I'd say a chicken is smarter 'an that
Hell, a chicken's just happy bein' one of them chickens that ain't one of them chickens in every pot
Ya know a chicken knows half of bein' happy is just bein' happy with whatcha got
Another half of bein' happy is just bein' happy no matter what
People, life is short, time's a tickin'
If you're gonna live like a king you gotta think like a chicken
Oh, a chicken wakes up to a new world every day
Far as a chicken's concerned everything's A-okay
A chicken don't worry 'bout nothin' but cluckin' and the price of eggs today
That's eggs AGGGGGS
And don't worry much about that
'Cause what the farmer don't snatch before she can hatch
Aww weasel's gonna steal 'em anyway
A chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day
Poor old chicken don't get no respect
There either swipin' her eggs or fryin' her legs or trying' to wring her neck
But a chicken understands her position and knows in this current condition it ain't gonna change
So she made the decision to roost every evenin' in the rusted out chassis of a beat up Chevrolet
And just wake up to a new world every day... yodalaeee....
Oh a chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day
Far as a chicken's concerned everything's A-OK
A chicken don't worry 'but nothin' but cluckin' and the price of eggs today
And don't worry much about that
'Cause what the farmer don't snatch before she can hatch
Hell the weasel's gonna steal 'em anyway
A chicken wakes up to a new world
A chicken wakes up to a new world
A chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day
A chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day
A chicken wakes up to a whole new world every day

9. She's A Baby When She Cries (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
She's a baby when she cries
A little girl when she's alone
She's a lady when she sighs
She's a woman when she moans
She's an angel when she comes
She's a gypsy when she goes
Oh I tremble when she hums
Some old song only I know
She's an angel when she comes
She's a gypsy when she goes
Now my heart beats like a drum
She steps out of her clothes

10. Fryin' Bacon Nekkid (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
Dennis Knutson, Seven Angels Music, Songs of Polygram, BMI
Kostas, Polygram, BMI
Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon nekkid
Whoa you tempt me darlin' then you torture me
Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon naked
And that's how I feel when you get through with me
Lord, you think I'd know
You thin I'd learn
A man falls in love
A man's gonna get burned
But all I ask from you
Is this solemn pledge
Oh, you can burn the bacon
But please don't scorch the sausage
Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon nekkid
Whoa you tempt me darlin' then you torture me
Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon naked
That's how I feel when you get through with me
What made God put thorns on a rose
He got his reasons, I suppose
Some what makes a woman, what to put her man
Like cold fat back in a hot frying pan
Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon nekkid
Whoa you tempt me darlin' then you torture me
Lovin' you is like fryin' bacon nekkid
That's how I feel when you get through with me, sweet Louise
Baby, that's how I feel when you get through with me

11. Horse I Wanna Ride (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
Dennis Knutson, Knutsongs, BMI
Yeah lets, lets get this before the wheels fall off
All right ready, ready
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
With a saddle on his back
And a bare back heart inside
He'll pull an honest plow 'n still have racing in his stride
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
There's two kinds of horses in this world
Cause only one you can trust to leave untied
Most will bolt like a colt at the first sound of thunder
There's one that will stand and stare the storm in the eye
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
And That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
With a saddle on his back
And a bare back heart inside
He'll pull an honest plow 'n still have racing in his stride
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
There's horses that run to place and show
There's one horse that runs just to win
The kind Jesse James would steel for his bride
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
And That's the kind of horse I wanna ride
With a saddle on his back
And a bare back heart inside
He'll pull an honest plow 'n still have racing in his stride
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride in my life
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride tonight baby
That's the kind of horse I wanna ride

12. Counterman (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, Dan Bowen Music, Incorporated Friends Music, BMI)
Dennis Knutson, Major Bob Music, BMI
Charlie Stefle, Major Bob Music, BMI
Well I'm a counterman at the auto zone store in Burmingham Alabama
We got everything from A to Z some miscellaneous and what have ya
I got the parts to fix all the parts a cars and make them all blow smoke
But I ain't got the part for the part of my heart that woman of mine just broke
But I'm a counterman and Isa counting on her just to stay with me the rest of my life
I's a crazy for wishing that blond beautician would settle down and be my wife
I'd bet a set a plugs she's powdered up and painted dancing hose in her high heels
Cause she pretty as a cherry 57 Chevy and smooth as an Oldsmobile
I even talked to the fram air filter man about making her miss December
On the calendar for the customers and distributors and vendors
Well, my mama said it will probably go to her head and hell I guess my mama was right
Cause I'm putting cashews in my coat she's at the burgundy room tonight
Well I'm a counterman and Isa counting on her just to stay with me the rest of my life
And I's a crazy for wishing that wild beautician would settle down and be my wife
I'd bet a set a plugs she's powdered up and painted dancing hose in her high heels
Cause she pretty as a cherry 57 Chevy and smooth as an Oldsmobile
Ah she pretty as a cherry 57 Chevy and smooth as an Oldsmobile

13. Johnny Cash Has Died (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
It's like this, uh
Rat poison rains falling downtown
A devil's whores wearing a red nightgown
Here I am again in a parking lot just hanging around
Wasting my life waiting for another deal to go down
I can hear that train a comin'
It ain't coming back again
I can hear the angels humming in that Arkansas wind
They're coming to carry him off to the other side
Mama Rosie called Johnny Cash has died
I can hear that train a comin'
It ain't coming back again
I can hear June Carter call
In that Arkansas wind
She's waiting there on the other side
Mama, that was Rosie on the phone
Mama Johnny Cash has died
I can hear that train a comin
It ain't coming back again
I hear the angels humming in that Arkansas wind
He's singing Jackson with June again tonight
Mama wakeup daddy
Tell him Johnny Cash has died
It's the first time my daddy ever cried

14. BB Gun (Roger Alan Wade, Songs of Chandessica, BMI)
I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
Lay there in the tall grass and laugh at what I'd done
Put a blood blister upon each bun
I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
I'd love to rub your toothbrush on a sick monkey's butt
Give your home phone number to some perverted nut
Tell everybody what you really weigh and just for fun
I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
Lay there in the tall grass and wait for the cops to come
Put a blood blister upon each bun
I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
I'd love to kick your poodle
I'd love to sling your cat
Bust your Yanni CD's with a baseball bat
Send your fat mouth mama sailing like the flying nun
I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
I'd like to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun
Lay there in the tall grass and wait for the cops to come
Put a blood blister upon each bun
I'd like to pop Sally Field right square in the ass with a red rider BB Gun

15. Put Another Log On The Fire (Shel Silverstein, Evil Eye Music Inc., BMI)
Put another log on the fire
Cook me up some beacon and some beans
Go out to the car and change the tire
Worsh my socks and sew my old blue jeans
Come on baby
There you can fill my pop and fetch my slippers
Then boil me up another pot of tea
Go put another log on the fire
Then come and tell me why you're leaving me
Don't I let you worsh my car on Sunday
Don't I warn you when you're gettin fat
And I gonna take you fishin someday
Hell, a man can't love a woman more than that
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister
Don't I take her driving every night
So sit here at my feet
Cause I love it when you sweep
You know it ain't feminine to fight
So, put another log on the fire
Go cook me up some bacon and some beans
Go out to the car and change the tire
Worsh my socks and sew my old blue jeans
Come on baby
Oh you can fill my pop and then go fetch my slippers
And boil me up another pot of tea
Go put another log on the fire
Then come and tell me why you're leaving me

18. Knoxville Girl
I met a girl in Knoxville
A town we all know well
And every Sunday evening
Out in her home I'd dwell
We went to take an evening walk
About a mile from town
I picked a stick up off the ground
And knocked that fat girl down
She fell down on her bended knees
For mercy she did cry
Oh, Willie dear, don't kill me here
I'm unprepared to die
She never spoke another word
I'll only beat her more
Until the ground around me
Within her blood did flow
I took her by her golden curls
And I drug her 'round and 'round
Throwed her in the river
That flows through Knoxville town
Go down, go down, you Knoxville girl
With the dark and roving eyes
Go down, go down, you Knoxville girl
You can never be my bride
I started back to Knoxville
Got there about midnight
My mother she was worried
And woke up in a fright
Saying, "Dear son, what have you done
To bloody your clothes so?"
I told my anxious mother
I was bleeding at the nose
I called for me a candle
To light myself to bed
I called for me a handkerchief
To bind my achin' head
Rolled and tumbled the whole night through
As troubles was for me
Like flames of hell around my bed
And in my eyes can see
They carried me down to Knoxville
And put me in a cell
My friends all tried to get me out
But none could go my bail
I here to waste my life away
Down in this dirty old jail
Because I murdered that Knoxville girl
The girl I loved so well

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