Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Long story short, I'm having some personal issues right now that may make me unable to even get to a computer to blog or play the Sims. This is a bit vague, but I'm having bad stomach pains right now and a couple of weeks ago I could barely even move from my bed because of them. We think that we know what they're from and we went to a doctor today to get a second opinion. She's currently trying to find out if I can go to another doctor (Before June, because that was the earliest appointment when my mom called. :/) to get these things under control.

Worst case scenario: At this point I'm not going to have to get a surgery (She thinks it's too early on for that), but my other doctor will have to do a minor medical procedure that can see exactly what's wrong.

Best? Nothing's wrong and I get some medicine for this issue.

I know this is very, very unexpected and I apologize for that, but I made a promise to myself when I started this that I would put real life situations first.

Lastly, I want you guys to know that I love you guys so, so much. Seeing your comments always make my day so much brighter. I promise that no matter what happens, I will come back eventually. I've put so much into this blog and I care about you guys and this blog too much to give up.

This isn't goodbye, I'll try to write posts when I'm feeling up to it. This is just a little "See y'all later!"

Monday, April 23, 2012

As I was about to leave for the hospital, I was stopped by somebody waving at me from outside the gate. "Ummm..." I mumbled. "I'm sorry, I'm kind of busy right now. Do you mind coming back later?"

He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "I uh... Can't. They kind of just dropped me off and left me here. I could sit outside the gate like a hobo if you want."

"I don't even know who you are, so I'd rather you just walk somewhere.... No offense or anything."

"I'm Brendan Lankford... I'm the first guy of that little man challenge you accepted."

"Oh... Crap," I muttered. "I'm sorry, I had no idea whatsoever that you were coming today. Uh... You want to make yourself settled inside. I'll make myself look presentable and we can go somewhere if you want."

He smiled, "That would be great."

Yes, I know it seems terrible that I'm ditching one guy to go on a date with another, but what was I supposed to say? "Oh yeah, you want to go to the hospital with me to try to see my ex who I still happen to have feelings for?" No. That would just be rude.

I quickly hopped into the shower, put some hair product in my hair, tossed on some clothes, brushed my teeth, put on my make up, and even tossed in my old nose ring just for the heck of it. Sheesh. I think this is the most effort I've put into actually looking good for weeks.

"Alright," I said as I walked out of the bathroom, brushing off some blush that somehow got on my sleeve. "I'm all set to go if you're ready."

He folded up the newspaper that he had in his hands and got up off the couch, turning around to look at me. "You look great," He said.

I felt myself blush. "Thank you."

We ended up going to the park and playing a bit of chess while we got to know each other. "So," He said. "What are your hobbies?"

"Getting pregnant..." I muttered, which made him let out a small chuckle. "Nah, just kidding. Um, I like painting, writing, gardening, and horseback riding. What about you?"

"I like gardening and repairing things. And I'm a scientist, so those things pay off."

"Oh really?" I asked. "That's cool."

"Yeah. So out of curiosity, where were you rushing off to before?"

"Oh... Uh, well. A good friend of mine is in the hospital right now and I kind of wanted to visit him."

He smiled sympathetically. "I'm sorry. Why didn't you just say so. Look, if you're okay with it I'll head back to your place and you can go see him if you want."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief. "Like you wouldn't be insulted if I just left?"

"Of course not. That would be pretty rude if I was. Just go ahead, I'll see you later."

"Thank you so much," I said as I got up. "You need me to drive you home first?"

"No, I can catch a taxi. It's really no big deal."

I got to the hospital rather quickly and they surprisingly let me go in to see Tom. When I walked in I noticed that he actually was awake, but he had a lot of scarring.

"Hey," I said. "Walking into the room slowly.

Tom looked over in disbelief. "Laura?" He asked. "Is that you?"

"Yep," I said quietly.

"I barely recognized you... What happened to your hair?"

"I dyed it out of boredom one day. I kind of hate it. I think I'm going to go to a stylist and have them strip the dye."

He laughed. "Good, you look better with the purple."

"Thanks? I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered."

I grabbed a chair and sat down next to his bed. "So... What did the doctors say?" I asked.

"Paralyzed from the waste down and organic brain damage."

"How did you...?" I asked, gesturing to the one leg that was on top of the other.

He shrugged. "The doctors did it. Not quite sure why though."

"So... What exactly is organic brain damage?"

"It's pretty much dementia with an even fancier name."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"So am I," He said, looking away.

"For what?"

"Laura," He said. "We're just... Not going to work out anymore."

"What?" I asked.

"Eventually I'll forget who you are completely. It's just better to accept that now before it's too late. And plus the doctors said I'll probably never be able to walk again. I would be completely useless when it come to kids and--"

"You would not be useless," I said.

"Yeah, not for the older kids, but what about when little Jimmy needs to learn to walk, or when little Suzie wants to be lifted onto something."

"That won't matter, I can always hel--"

"Those are things I should be able to do by myself. And I don't even have a job anymore. The head officer laid me off. I have no steady income. I don't even know how I'm going to pay off these medical bills. Heck, I'll probably have to stay with my parents now. Can't get up and down my stairs, I have no job. Believe me when I say I'm useless Laura, completely useless."

"No, you're not usele--," I started, but was interrupted by a nurse.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but visiting hours are over, you're going to need to leave."

I looked over at the clock to see it was already 10:30. When did it get so late?

"Oh, okay," I said, getting up and putting the chair back. I looked at Tom. "So I guess this is goodbye?"

He sighed. "I guess so."

I silently walked out and headed home, the whole time trying not to cry.

For a couple of days, Brendan seemed to notice something was wrong and left me alone. Today however, we decided to go to a new karaoke bar that opened.

Let me tell you, I'm terrible at singing. He wasn't much better, but at least his voice didn't keep cracking.

After we both sucked at sing, we decided to just not embarrass ourselves any further and headed upstairs to play pool. "You know," I said, shooting the last striped ball into a hole. "I don't know if you're letting me win or if you're just really bad at pool because well, I've always sucked at this game."

"Apparently not," He laughed. "But then again, my aim has always been off."

"I'll remember never to play darts with you then. That could turn very dangerous."

"Oh trust me, it has."

"Do I dare ask?"

"Lets just say that a friend of mine got a brand new piercing for free."

"Ow..." I muttered.

Just an extra picture for the night. I don't even know how he defied gravity in the third picture, but I'm thoroughly impressed by it.

Since the whole baby-making thing was supposed to be part of this whole shin-dig I decided to just get it over with and do the seducing tonight. So, while Brendan was in the shower I changed into some cutesy lingerie. "Hey," I said as I wrapped my arms around him from behind.

"Uh... Hey," He said as his eyes widened and he shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you before. I was kind of nervous about it. Most of my family isn't very... Accepting."

"I'm sorry," I said. " And don't worry; it's fine. If you ever need anyone to talk I'm here. Since I still have to get pregnant with your children do you want to just go to the sperm bank tomorrow?"

"That'd be great."

"I just have one quick question though?"

"And what's that?"

"Will you be my gay best friend? Every girl needs one and well, I don't really have one yet."

"Of course I will! And if you don't like any of the other guys-- I can assure you that one is a major douche-- just pick me and we can ride off into the sunset on a majestic white pony."

"Why a white pony? You have something against my brown pony? Or grey ponies? Or black ponies? Or blond ones?"

"Because the white ones are the ones that you see in the fairy tails, silly goose!"

The next day we did go to the sperm bank and well, I definitely had a lot of morning sickness this pregnancy.

On the plus side, I'm not nearly in as much pain as I was in last time, so I think I'll actually be able to give birth.

I was taking care of Mocha one day when I noticed this very adorable cat sleeping on the newspaper. She looked hungry and mess, so I brought her inside for a little bit.

The first order of business was getting this cat clean. I couldn't risk her giving Lucky fleas and plus, I'm a neat freak. I can't have a messy pet running around my house.

After setting down some tuna for her, I called a number that I had seen on her collar. "Hello?" A voice answered.

"Um... Hi," I said. "I think I found your cat."

"Oh," The voice said, sounding annoyed. "Lily?"

I looked at the collar, "Yeah, that's what her collar says."

"Keep her, we didn't want her any more so we tossed her outside."

After that the voice hung up.

I couldn't believe it. How could you just toss your pet outdoors to fend for themselves? I'm lucky that my friend, Calista Smith recently get over my fear of cats. Otherwise I wouldn't know what to do with this little rascal.

Lucky, being the dog of the house, decided he wanted to inspect this new creature. He took a few hesitant steps toward her and sniffed her. Apparently he was indifferent to Lily and chose to just walk away.

Maybe they'll get along better later; at least this was a start.

I have to say, I'm kind of liking this cat. She's very affectionate and couldn't even hurt a fly. She'll be perfect when there are little kids running around the house!

Between pregnancy hormones and cleaning a house, I tend to find a bit of time to spend with Brendan after he gets out of work. Today, we're playing football. Well... He isn't really what you would call... Athletically inclined.

"You see," I said. "This is how you throw a football."

"Oh no," Brendan said. "Please don't."

"Too late..." I muttered as the ball came flying toward him.

"Oh no," He screamed as he flinched away from the ball. "I'm going to die!"

The ball nearly hit him smack dab in the face. At least he had quick reflexes and was able to block it.

"I'm sorry!"

"It's okay," He muttered, rubbing his hand that got the worst of the hit. "I think you need to teach me to catch too."

I laughed. "I will, but first we should eat something because it's getting late. You like spaghetti?"

"I love spaghetti," He said nonchalantly.

"Great! Because I'm having a huge craving for it right now."

A half an hour later we were munching on some spaghetti. "So," I said. "Not to insult you or anything, but why exactly did they want a gay guy for this challenge thing?"

He laughed. "I honestly don't think they did. They just asked me to take part and I was like, 'Sure! Why not?' I figured I would at least make a new friend out of it."

"I see," I said. "What if I was a giant homophobe?"

He shrugged. "You're doing a 100 baby challenge, so I don't really think you'd be an unaccepting person."

"True that," I said.

I decided that I wanted multiples this time around, so I listened to Kid music and watched this creepy bunny thing.

I have to admit, these cartoons are creeping me out now a days.

Eventually I went into labor.

Luckily, Brendan was off work, so he was able to drive me to the hospital. I wanted to make the birth as safe as possible. I was still kind of on the edge about the whole Ectopic pregnancy thing.

Everything went smoothly and I walked out with not 1, not 2, but 3 babies! I definitely wasn't expecting triplets this time around!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

I wiped my tear streaked face in annoyance. How long has it been since I slept through the night? 2? 3? 4 weeks? And of course this happens when I don't have a toddler or infant in the house. "Well crap," I sighed as more tears made their way out.

I know not to think of toddlers or babies, or should know, by now. It only makes me get emotional and break down because then I think of that ectopic pregnancy, which isn't the most satisfying thing to think about for anybody, especially a challenge mother.

"Think happy thoughts for once," I said under my breath as I started to get up. "About magical unicorns and ponies or something."

"Ha," I laughed sarcastically after seeing my reflection. "Dark circles under my eyes, talking to myself, and muttering about ponies. I must look pretty insane right about now."

I twisted around experimentally. Have I lost weight? "Good," I muttered. Wait, no... Bad. Or good? I don't even know anymore. I've been having a lot of conflicting thoughts lately; probably from lack of sleep. Well, no... Not all of them. My weight just happens to be one of them. On one hand I know I'm losing weight and know that I shouldn't be, but on the other hand, I don't exactly care that I am. And I'm doing nothing to prevent this weight loss either. I barely, if ever, eat anything and I really have no desire to.

I walked into my bathroom and stared at the medicine cabinet, wondering if I should bother taking the antidepressants today. Do I ever take them? No. They don't work anyways. The only pills I do take are sleeping pills and they don't really help either. Maybe I should see Wes... No. Not going to see him even if it is for health purposes only.

I could just find another psychologist, but I'd rather not.

Somehow I ended up in the kitchen looking for food, but gave up after about thirty seconds and went out to my new garden. I've recently discovered that gardening is a good way to take my mind off of things. Being as OCD as I am, all I can think of is all of the dirt getting under my fingernails and how icky it is.

I wasn't gardening for long because I got a call from Tom. Do I answer it or not? He's been trying to get a hold of me a lot, but I never really answer. I know it'll only be questions like, "Are you okay?" or, "Do you need me to come over?"

And I would reply, "Yes, I'm great. I don't think I need you here now, but I'll tell you if I do."

That's the way it worked the first couple of days and then I just stopped answering. I got a bit tired of lying to him after awhile.

I was suddenly snapped out of my thoughts when the ringing stopped. Well, I guess I'm not talking to him today.

The next order of business was getting Mocha all cleaned and ready for the day. I'm actually starting to think that I love horses as much as Calista Smith loves her cats. My riding skill is already at eight and I've won one race with my beautiful girl so far.

Once all the chores were done I got a call from a familiar voice telling me to go to the park. I didn't necessarily remember who this voice belonged to, but I went anyways. May as well live life on the edge.

"Over here, Laura," I heard.

I turned around nervously and saw Weston. Greeeeeaaaaattttttt. Eh, it's my own fault. Kids, don't answer the stranger and go to the park.

I sighed and started making my way over to him.

As it turned out, he attempted to make hot dogs. And by attempted, I mean he burned them. A lot. We silently took a seat at a picnic table."So," I said awkwardly, not quite knowing what to say.

I laughed for what felt like the first time in months. "No I really don't," I said, slapping it out of my face.

The hot dog flew out of Weston's hands and hit him in the face, only making me laugh more. "Alright Johanson," He said with a small smile. "You're twig sized and keep refusing to put my meat in your mouth. Something is wrong right now."

"Are you implying I'm a whore?" I asked. "Because you certainly are not any better Mr. Lets have sex in my office even though I have a wife."

"Hey now, you could've stopped me. And don't deny that you liked it. Now please, just eat a hot dog," He said with an exasperated expression.

I smacked him in the arm. "Fine. I'll eat your damn hot dog."

He smiled. "That's all that I ask of you."

Once we were done with the most burnt hot dogs ever, we headed over to a bench and Weston sat down. Unfortunately for me, there was already somebody else sitting down. Weston just patted his leg. As I sat down he said, "I was told not to tell you, but a certain someone was worried about you and called me to see if you've been coming in. After I told them no, they made me ask you to meet me at the park since you wouldn't answer their phone calls."

I looked down guiltily. Tom. Maybe I should've at least answered one call. It would have only been fair. He must be worried sick. "Can you tell him I'm okay?" I asked.

"I'm afraid that I can't," He said as the person nest to us decided that this would be a good time to leave.

"And why's that?"

He laughed bitterly, "Laura, I've seen this before. People see me and they look just like you do right now, dark shadows under your eyes, thinner than you were before, lying and saying they're fine when they're not. I'm not stupid. I can see that you a clearly very upset right now. Which reminds me, are you taking your antidepressants?"

"Ummm... No," I muttered.

He sighed and rubbed his temples in annoyance, "Why? Just, why?"

"They really don't help at all."

"I could try prescribing something different."

I sighed, "Look, I really don't need anymore antidepressants." Weston looked at me in irritation. "Really, I can just try finding new sleeping pills or something. I just need some sleep and I'll be fine."

"You are the most irritating and stubborn person I've ever had to work with."

"I bet I am, but I really don't need any of your happy pills."

I looked at the time on my phone, seeing that it was already a quarter to nine. Farrah and Sydney were probably wondering where I was. After all, they were supposed to age up today. "Crap," I muttered as I got up. "I have to go."

Weston got up with me, "Would you like me to escort you to your car?"

"If you want," I said as I felt myself blushing, feeling very much like some teenage girl out of one of those terrible sparkly vampire movies.

He put his arm around my neck and started walking with me.

"We should hang out more often," He said as we got to my car. "As friends of course."

I smile. "I would like that. I'll see you later then?"

He started turning around, "Fine by me, but promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Don't do anything stupid."

I glared at him, "I won't."

Farrah aged up into a lovely young adult who didn't feel like dealing with her leaf hair anymore, so she just shaved it all off.

Sydney decided it was time for her curls to go and started straightening her hair every morning. I'm wondering if it's even worth it, but she swears that it is.

A couple of days later I decided I should probably try to eat something when I heard the door open. "Johanson," A voice that I knew all too well yelled out.

I got up and ran over to see Chester walking through my door. "Why are you inside my house? You know, there is this wonderful invention called a doorbell, maybe you should use one sometime. Or you could knock, but if you get any smudges on that glass I'll bitch slap you into next week."

"Yikes, I would really want you as my mother."

"Shut up, creep. And I'm not really in mothering mode right now. In case you haven't noticed there are no kids in sight."

"Hm... I guess not. But I'm not here to discuss your lack of crotch candy right now, I have business to speak of."

"Business business or lets torture Laura business?"

He walked over to the counter and sat down in a chair. "Please, sit."

"Don't tell me to sit in my own house. I'll sit if I want to sit.," I snapped.

"Damn, somebody's having her period."

"Just get to the point and get out of my house," I said with a sigh. "I have a house to clean, a garden to tend, bills to pay, and pets to take care of."

"A, there isn't a speck of dust in sight. B, I saw your garden and I can assure you that the plants look healthy enough. C, they have food bowls and water, what else do they need?"

"A, you obviously haven't seen the rest of the house. B, I still need to water them, harvest them, and weed them today. C, you're an idiot; they need a lot more than just food and water."

"Alright, whatever; I'll get to the point. But you're going to hate me after you hear this."

"I already hate you, so continue on."

"Really," He said sarcastically. "I couldn't tell. Anyways, I'm sure you've already heard about this. It's all over the news..."

"I live underneath a rock, so I most likely haven't."

"Oh, well then that makes this even more fun. To be honest I just wanted to taunt you, but this is much more fun."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Your beautiful boyfriend got into an accident."

"He isn't my boyfriend," I grumbled as I realized what he just said. "Wait... Accident?"

"Oh yeah, he was hit by a drunk driver and now he's in the hospital in critical condition. They're saying they might have to pull the plug soon."

I could feel myself shaking and leaned against the counter to hold myself up. "No," I gasped. "When did this happen?"

"Oh, just last night. He was on his way over here I believe and somebody just happened to be going home from the bar."

"Why would he be coming over here?" I asked.

"Well, your psychologist told him how you were doing and he was rushing over here. Maybe if you would have answered his calls."

"Don't you even blame this on me."

"But it is your fault. You wouldn't answer his calls."

I sighed, "Alright, you know what? Just get out. Please."

"Alright, fine. But if you want to go to the hospital and see him they only want family there."

As soon as he left I grabbed my keys. Quite frankly , I didn't care if they only wanted family visiting him.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you all enjoyed this post. I'm sorry that it wasn't the best, but I tried. To be honest it took so long because of the Weston photos (I cut out a couple that I would've loved to put in, but eh... They would've only caused more complications with Laura's life anyways"

I really don't know what I want to do with Tom from here. Maybe I could kill him, make him wake up and be paralyzed. I don't know. Too many options. I know what you guys would probably want though. (Yeah, make him magically wake up and be okay, but I promise that won't happen.)