Tuesday, April 27, 2010

And So You Laugh

Life falls out of our control. It slips through our fingers and we fumble to hold onto it. We didn't plan it this way, we didn't mean for things to end up this way, we didn't think this would be how it would turn out.

People come and go, making impressions on our heart before leaving. Their length of stay never known until they're gone, but for the moments they stand with you it's almost as though you're bound together. You turn to them and say, "I care." And they smile, the corners of their mouth turning up and happiness flickers in their eyes. Until the day the light fades from their expression and you're left looking at a person you don't recognize anymore. And they step back into the shadow they came from.

The seasons change. In the middle of falling leaves and ominous gray clouds, you stand at the park, watching the trees dance to a tune you can't hear. Your mind's on someone on the other side of the world. You've never met them, but you wish you could. Guilt rises and you try to ignore it. And you try to forget the wanting that's been planted in your belly.

Birds soar across the sky and you remember how you've always wanted to fly, to spread your wings and break from the cage that holds you back. Your wings were clipped when you were a child and you take cautious steps now, only alighting to edges which are near and safe. The risks you long to take hang in the balance. Tempting you forward.

Time is non-existent for a moment, but you can still here the moments of your life slipping away. You hang your head at all you've done wrong and try to remember what right you have. The hurt you place on others is too much for you to confront, so you turn away. And you feel like crying, but you aren't sure why. The reason escapes you.