EllenS:
What about other guests and family members? I agree that while helping gd and ydd get to your house is a gracious thing (and may be necessary if you want to actually see them), it is not an etiquette requirement.

2-4 extra hours of driving, on top of hosting, 2 weeks in a row is too much for anybody.

Isn't there anyone else attending who might live closer to gd and/or be able to put up with ydd? Would you be open to having them extend the invite to another friend/family member near them who could drive, but might not have been on the original invite list?

rose red:

--- Quote from: LadyL on September 25, 2013, 04:24:27 PM ------ Quote from: rose red on September 25, 2013, 04:04:29 PM ---As for the youngest DD, she's going to keep facing situations like this. She can spend money to take the bus or decline the invitation. A bus ticket may be expensive, but so are car payments, insurance, gas, and maintenance which I assume your olderst DD has.

--- End quote ---

Another option is a rental or zipcar - it might cost $30-60 for the day, but that's nothing compared to the average monthly car payment, insurance, and cost of gas.

--- End quote ---

I think the problem is the OP's daughter doesn't have a driver's license why is why her option is the bus since her older sister refuse to drive her.

katycoo:
Is grandpa so elderly that he4 could not take the bus with YD's assistance if you paid for them both?

cicero:
I agree that you have no obligation, but it would depend on how much you want them there. To me it would be a huge no-no to drive grandpa and not sister who lives in the same building. That would seem very hurtful to me. How about a comprise? Have other DD drive them one way and they can take the bus back together, or you will drive them back. Explain to YDD that she needs to [not do whatever annoying thing she does] otherwise she is on her own ( and follow thru).

YummyMummy66:
You are going to drive an hour each way to get them. So, two two hour trips in one day? Four hours on the road?

How much gas do you think you are going to use and pay for?

I think I would pay for bus passes for both granddad and daughter if they wish to come to either party.