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In the first five episodes of The CW’s new comedy, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, our hilarious, musical protagonist, Rebecca Bunch, quit her high-powered law job in NYC, moved to lovely West Covina, California (two hours from the beach — four in traffic), and began the process of inserting herself into her (technically) ex-boyfriend Josh’s life. But, like, she didn’t move to West Covina for Josh. She moved to West Covina, and Josh just happens to live there. Sure, she heard about West Covina from Josh, but, like, she didn’t move there because of him.

Caught up? Good. Now, we’re a few months into Rebecca’s move, and the holiday season is starting. Rebecca was supposed to fly back east and spend Thanksgiving with her mom, but instead, she finagles an invite from Josh’s mom to join his family for Turkey Day. It’s a great plan because, as Rebecca explains in song (a rap this time), she gives great parent. Josh’s girlfriend, Valencia, might be super hot and yoga-instructor-flexible, but Rebecca is a successful nerd who makes dad jokes and dresses like a church lady. If Crazy Ex-Girlfriend took place in a time or place where arranged marriages were a thing, Josh would be hers.

But this show does not take place in a time or place where arranged marriages are a thing. This show takes place in modern-day West Covina, where hot yoga instructors beat smart lawyers who your parents like, and by the end of the episode, Josh and Valencia have fought over Rebecca, made up in the bedroom (at his parents’ house—yuck) and decided to move in together.

In the best song of the episode, “I Give Good Parent,” Rebecca explains that she’s DTF—Dazzling The Family. And dazzle she does. She brings a delicious dish. She tells (apparently engaging and hilarious) stories about overdue library books. She agrees to go to mass, even though she’s Jewish. She even almost makes Josh’s dad smile. The Chan family loves Rebecca and Valencia sees right through the plot. The claws come out as Valencia explains to Rebecca what the audience already knows: It doesn’t matter how much his family likes Rebecca, Josh has chosen Valencia. Josh and Valencia have a huge fight about Rebecca (which she overhears because she’s in the bathroom, struggling to keep her digestive system under control) which ends in some very lengthy and, apparently satisfying, make-up sex.

If you think that Rebecca had a bad Thanksgiving though (being on parent-pleasing best behavior, holding in unfortunate bathroom needs, listening to the man she loves sleep with his girlfriend and then make a public spectacle out of asking her to move in with him), that’s nothing. Greg does his own sad, pathetic version of Dazzling the Family. But, in his case, the family is his own dad and by “dazzling,” I mean “spending his life savings to keep him alive.”

Greg begins the episode with a great bit. He tries to quit his job at the bar with an epic F-you to his boss, but he’s met with nothing but love and support at every step. He tries to say that he deserves better than this job, but his boss beats him to it. He’s quitting to finally go to business school (he’s been working and saving up to go for years), and his boss couldn’t be happier for him finally pursuing his dreams. He goes off to have one more Thanksgiving with his dad before he moves out and finally starts an adult life doing something he really wants to do.

Until his dad passes out on the table.

Turns out, Greg’s dad has a slew of health problems and refuses to take any of the necessary steps to manage them. He smokes and drinks and eats terribly and lands himself in the hospital with an advanced case of emphysema, one that requires new treatment that Greg’s insurance won’t cover. Greg uses his business-school money to pay for the treatment and gets his job at the bar back, because life isn’t fair.

After the hospital, he goes to hang out with Rebecca, who has promised him a drink. She’s recovering on her couch after finally making it home to tend to her upset stomach. He seems to have forgiven her after their disastrous date, but it’s almost a shame to think that they might be friends. I love them together, of course, because Greg is clearly Rebecca’s OTP. I know she still has some pining for Josh to get out of her system, but I’m Team Greg, as I imagine every other viewer is. On the bright side though, Santino Fontana sings a mean ballad, so as long as Greg’s sad and tortured, we’re all kind of winning (except for Greg of course—his life is a trainwreck).

Expression Of JoyThe Brady Bunch: Groovy! The Bradys: Ritual hugging Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.” Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you? The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…” The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been) Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!” Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?” The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical ProblemThe Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen. The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed. Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents. Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer. The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical SolutionThe Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens. The Bradys: Bobby gets married. Married…With Children: They hate him. Thirtysomething: If only we knew… The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

Attitude Toward SexThe Brady Bunch: Never heard of it The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it! Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No. Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident. The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses FightThe Brady Bunch: They don’t. The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens Married…With Children: Tooth and nail Thirtysomething: They stop talking The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into TroubleThe Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette. The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair. Married…With Children: By committing felonies Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket. The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.” The Bradys ”Next time, ask.” Married…With Children: By the authorities Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face. The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For FunThe Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon The Bradys: Has flashbacks Married…With Children: Exchanges insults Thirtysomething: Talks The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved MysteriesThe Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die? The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use? Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other? The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst BehaviorThe Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

Best Reason To WatchThe Brady Bunch: This is what life should be. The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now! Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it. Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life. The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To WatchThe Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses. The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now. Married…With Children: She has a point. Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real. The Flintstones: The Simpsons