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Author
Topic: hand job variation question... (Read 19470 times)

:)Hi everyone! I just recieved my 5th consecutive negative test at the 20 week mark. I'm beginning to feel well again. I'm still having some GI disturbances and seeing a gastric motility specialist at a major teaching city hospital. Thanx to all on this site who have listened to my incoherent ramblings. Rockman

Hello. My question is. After months of intense flirting, a co-worker of mine and I engaged in some serious deep and passionate french-kissing for about 20 min. I'm unaware of her sex history. I'm married and don't feel very good about this. Can anything be exchanged this way? For the records, I tested neg at 3,6,9 months. I had to get one at 10 months for life insurance policy(also neg.) Thanx for answering my question. Rockman. All the testing was prior to this encounter(not confuse.)

Before you go smooching again or whatever, how about reading the lesson on Transmission which is on this site. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this session.

It covers all the basics that you need to know and pay attention to in relation to HIV.

Guilt is a whole other matter and it's no tribute to your character or your marriage for you to beat yourself about going sniffing around other places. You're a dog like the rest of us. Generally speaking it is a good idea to avoid behavior which is going to make you feel like s**t afterwards.

I engaged in sexual intercourse with a co-worker of mine. I had a condom on. After climaxing, I pulled out. Unfortunately, the condom must have slipped off at this time. She went into the bathroon and pulled it out. She said the condom was intact and that cum was inside it and contained. It(the condom) must have slipped off as I was coming out. I've worked with her for 12 months. She's caring,open,honest and a good nurse. She stated to me that she doesn't have Hiv or STD's. She stated that she always uses condoms. Did my actions put me at any risk? Do I need to test? I am married to another woman and I know what I did was wrong. Thanx for answering my question.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

As I mentioned, I was unaware as to when the condom came off. However; due to the fact that cum was inside it and contained, I'm assuming it was at the end of the act as I was withdrawing(should have used a hand down there to keep it on.) So you feel no testing is indicated? I feel like such a piece of shit. You think I would have learned something from my past expereince. Hopefully,this will do it for me.

Rock. It sounds like you feel guilty and that is what is leading to your anxiety. Your a dog just like the rest of us and you strayed a little. It happens.

Listen to the others on this, you were protected but do use a hand down there to withdraw from now on.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Question. I see this nurse every week and talk/text her several times each week as well(you could say I have feelings for her.). Would it be incorrect to ask her to get a test for Hiv? I know I'm negative from my testing past. Of course, I would continue using condoms(correctly) however; it would give me some satisfaction knowing her status definetively. You guys F'N rock! Thank You!

It is your health and your responsibility. You were not at risk according to what you have told us. I would say it would be rude to ask someone you are having an affair with to provide you with the security you seek, it is not her responsibility to make you feel better. Just my opinion. It really wouldnt matter what her results were anyway as you didnt have a risk!

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LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I did mention that I'm married. My co-worker wants to get together again. We are very sexually compatible together. I'm conflicted. I read up on proper use of condoms and feel I would be prepared. Nonetheless, I feel it's the wrong thing to do. I know this isn't the forum for this kind of question but why the struggle with this? At least if I give in to my weakness I will be protected.

We dont give or deny permission to cheat on this site. Youre an adult, make up your own mind. we are here for HIV risk assesment ONLY.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Hi! I have a question about transmission. I know Hiv is in semen. Can Hiv be transmitted via pre-cum? Are the concentrations high enough to infect someone? I don't feel as if I've put myself at a risk(condom came off as I removed myself from girlfriend).I mentioned I don't know her Hiv status. However; I do obsess over things and that isn't good(maybe I shouldn't do those things.) I use condoms all the time(even wife ((doesn't like the pill.)) After her cycle, we may not use condoms for a few days as it's not likely to get pregnant at this time. I don't feel like I'm at a risk ,but will test just to make sure(in my head.) I want to do what is safe for everyone in addition to keeping my relationship with spouse intact.

My bad, as I know this site is about Hiv transmission/infection. Thanx for all who have answered my questions about this topic. However; I'm really stuck with wanting my marriage to work(have a young child) and at the same time having this affair with my co-worker safely(girlfriend.) Maybe I can have both, more than likely I'm just kidding myself and in serious denial(not the river in Egypt.) I know you can't comment on these issues as it's not in the nature of what you do here.

Yes, pre-cum can contain HIV. As long as you consistently use a condom you are not risking infection sexually. You can't pass a virus you don't have.

Guilt is a whole other matter. You will have to decide what works for you in your life in the situation you have described. And if you feel you need help with that then see a therapist or other professional to sort things out.

Hi there I have a quick question for the pros. As I stated prior the condom slipped off as I pulled out. Possibly the head of my member may have had contact with her vaginal wall for a second(don't know for sure.). My genitals didn't appear to have anything(secretions on them.) :)How easy is the virus passed? Thanx! Rockman

It's not easy to transmit form a woman to a man as it sounds. You were protected until you incorrectly withdrew. It doesn't matter if you got some juice on the head of your penis. It was not forcefully introduced into your urethra. Make sure you keep ahold of the condom on withdraw.

Good Day! I've read your welcome thread and lessons on transmission. My question is about cunnilingus. From time to time I get a small ulcer on the roof of my mouth. My doc has seen it and said it's an ulcer from stress. Would performing cunnilingus put me at a risk contracting Hiv if I had that small ulcer at the time? What about other kinds of Std's? Thanx!

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection. However, you will have to decide where your own comfort level lies when you have a mouth ulcer. There are other STIs you can get from cunnilingus, such as gonorrhea, herpes or syphilis, but having an ulcer won't necessarily increase this risk.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"You will have to decide where your own comfort level lies." So you are saying that even with a very small ulcer(not wheeping,oozing or anything like that, basically a small crack on roof of mouth) performing cunnilingus will not put me at risk for contracting Hiv? I have been having a sexual relationship with her(using condoms) and she assures me that she doesn't have Hiv or STD's. I don't want to put myself into a risk situation. Thanx again and keep up the good work! Rockman

We're into the realms of the theoretical here. In real life, no, a small ulcer isn't going to put you at risk when you go down on a woman. Put it this way, my partner is still hiv negative after nearly eight years and we have a full sex life. Not one proven, documented case has ever occured this way and you won't be the first.

Keep using those condoms, correctly and consistently, and you'll be fine. Make sure you check out the condom and lube links in my signature line. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I went to get a massage today at one of those Asian places(stressed out about breaking up with girlfriend.) The girl was very attractive(23 y/o.) After some massage, she lubed me up with baby oil and proceeded to due her thing(with her hand.) That was the extent of contact. I don't think I did anything to expose myself to anything(did I?) At this point, I realize I need serious help. I'm not a good person. I'm tired of living my life being driven by my genitals(really sucks.) Hopefully, I can finally end this destructive behavior and be grateful for what I have today(wife and son.)

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

:)Good day. My question is this. I've read the Welcome thread in addition to gleaning information from the educators here on-line(thanx.) Regarding cunnilingus, why is there such a discrepency between many in this field? EXAMPLE: My local state Hiv hotline says that cunnilingus is a definite risk and requires testing. I'm just trying to get the best information out there to protect myself and family(make the best choice.) Some say documented cases exist,others only in theory. Thanx again. Rock

My co-worker who I've been having this affair with is black. I love all races. However; does her being black put me at a greater risk for hiv? I've read several places that hiv is much more prevelant right now among blacks in our country(and with new documented cases.) Thanx guys. Be well! Rockster

Rock, we can't account for the differences and (mis)information you may find on other sites. What we tell you here is well grounded in HIV science.

The basics of transmission that you need to know are all in our lesson on this site.

No, having an affair with someone who is black does not put you at greater risk for HIV transmission. Unfortunately it is true the infection rate is high in the black community due to the lack of condom use for intercourse. There is of course a raging HIV epidemic in sub-Saharan Africa. As long as you consistently use latex condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse the race or HIV status of your partner(s) is totally irrelevant. Condoms provide very effective protection no matter whom you are with. And of course using condoms everytime also protects your partner as well.

Hi. I had an episode where a young lady used her hands on my member while sucking gently on my balls. Is there a reason to test for hiv in this case? I had no visible cuts on my scrotum. I didn't see any blood in her mouth or on my scrotal sack. I'm concerned about the possibility of micro tears and micro blood(too small to be seen.) That was the extent of the contact. Thanx for answering my question. Rockman

You should know the answer to this by now! Kissing, even if it is your balls that are being kissed or sucked, is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Neither is a handjob. Getting a blowjob is also not a risk for hiv infection.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Ann, yes I do know the answer. However; I was kind of paranoid due to the fact that the girl is a paid pro. Again I know the phrase"no risky people, just risky behavior." I know this is an Hiv webpage. Could you help at all with addiction? I've been faithful thru 10 years of marriage but the last 18 months have been hell(all my fault.) I've been having these affairs and fooling around. I've been wracked by guilt,panic-stricken and in much pain however; I seem to have trouble stopping. I can't keep living this way as it's destroying my life and at some point will wreck all the good things in my life. I'm desperate to be well. Any suggestions? Please.

I have a question for the experts. I'm a few weeks short of my 13th week to test for a questionable low-risk exposure(condom slipped off.) The last few weeks I've had this itchy red rash(arms or legs.) It comes every few days. It lasts for an hour or 2 then fades away. I'm going to get it checked. I've read alot about Hiv and skin related conditions(rashes etc.) Hiv related? Would someone have these conditions a few months post exposure? Thank you for answering my questions. I appreciate it! Rockman

Hi. I have a question for the experts. I had a possible exposure with a condom slipping off. I believe it was on withdrawl. The condom was intact and semen was inside it(not in her)when she removed it. I went for an Ora-Quick test and it came back negative. I thought that I had waited 13 weeks but after looking at my calender I realized I had tested at 88 days(not 91.) I'm inclined to go with this as a conclusive test. Do you agree or feel I need additional testing. Thanx again for answering my question. You provide a valuable resource.