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\ Oldest Nevvsnaoei in the Wyoming Valle\ PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., Fill DAY, AUGUST 14, 1891. A Weekly Local and Family louraal. himself turn sic-U with upon lii:-; knees anil das heed with water, lie w sweat and his heart wa labor ■lied li and tell facc and Breathlessly she hurried down and eamo among the children, where, whispering' and clinging to each other's hands, they waited at the water's edge. "After awhile lie said, sort of slow like: 'Father, I've done my best I couldn't use the oars if I had 'em, my hands are so bad. Mebby we ken steer onto some island an' get saved.' Then I see his poor hands was swelled to the shoulders from rowin', an' worn raw an' bleed in', an' I kissed 'em an' cried over 'em, an' we talked an' forgive one away it drifted an' we was helpless. WILLIAM NY US OPINION t.ast haginaw within tlie past two years, paying my hotel bills and either blacking my own boots or gladly putting np for it. lCnchantmont. as drip; ing with The sails we see on l:hc ocean M'SWAT'S APPLES. s fllltt' g from Are as white as wiiite C au be. But uever one in lihit harUjr As white as the sail* at sea. He Trie* Bis 'laud at Buying Them, but long and violent action. lie thrust his hot arms in the water to the shoulders as he hung over the side of the boat, and his dizziness passed. Then he leaped up again and pulled feverishly forward. The first great surging sense of crime and pollution never lifted itself from his spirit for a moment. A deadly exhaustion began to crcep upon him, but he could not rest; the boat kept leaping outward, and over all the face of- the deep there was no sound save the oars working in the locks, his laboring breath, and the low slap and gurgle of the water under the advancing prow. Just when the sun was sinking Eric's yacht swept thro\igh the mouth of the little bay. The children held their breath, and the mother strained her pale face outward. She did not see the men waving their hats up at the wharves, nor tho wives and mothers watching from the yards and doorways about the bay. The boat was all there was in the world to her. How slowly it camel Was Trave and her lame boy there? That was Eric's face, and there was his brave companion. What other object was that lying on a litter in tho bow? Tho woman shook as with an ague, but even while she trembled and questioned the boat rounded on the glassy field and swept up to the landing by the head, and Eric, battered and worn, leaped out and made it fast. But the woman did not see him: she was clinging to the side of the boat and straining- her cye3 down upon that muffled figure in the bow. Men came running from the bluff, and the platform was pently lifted out, and there looking like death itself, lay Trave Armor, c! it'sod irrhis rags and tjie dying light of "the, IT IS NICE TO BE A CRITIC LIKE 1 call the attention of every crowned head in Europe to the fact that while at their tables I did not ask what was coming next or what their victuals cost them laid down. 1 am not regarded as a stickler for social high church or monkey business when I make a formal call on a monarch or a P. P. (J. call on royalty. but when i cease to pay for the polish that glints and glitters on my bright young bunions, or fork over my liquor bills for a W. (J. T. U. to put up for, may my right hand cleave to tla* roof of my mouth, and an incensed peuple play shinney o'er my forgotten grave AlasI "Lobelia," said Mr. McSwat as he pat oniris hat and heavy May overcoat preparatory to starting down town, "I wish you would buy some apples this morning."" HAMILTON AIDE The clouds that crown the mountains With purple and irolden light Turn to cold gray n Jst and vapor Ere ever we reach the-height. llecaurt* You Can C'ooD« to America ttml Hi-ohm on C'anvasharit Dark rikI Such The mountains wear crowns of glory- Only when seen fitjm afar, And the sails lose all their white nose Inside of the hartor bar. another. Thlngx mill Thru Kiln Home am) "Any particular kind, Billiger?" inquired Mrs. McSwat. "I want good apples of course. Almost any land will do except the Ben Davis. The Ben Davis apple," he said, with the emphasis of a 'nan who felt deeply on the subject, "is utterly worthless. It looks nice enough, bnt it is wooden, tough and tasteless. I wouldn't give one respectable crabapplefor a whole orchard of Ben Davises." "Then he tried to steer tho boat, but he couldn't set up, an' for a long time we laid at the bottom of the boat like dead men. But about night ho struggled up an' said; 'Father, there's a island ahead, an' I guess I'll steer onto It, caise the sea has been gettin' worse for three days, an' wo can't keep afloat much longer.' So he managed to steer for the island, an' when we got nigh, he said again: 'I am 'feard, father, the current's goin' to carry us by.' And ho set tho helm to port an' tied it. Then he got mo forrcd into tho prow, an' when wo was about to strike he held mo up with Ids knees an' teeth, an' what lie could with his poor hands, an' when we struck he lifted an' throwed me ahead, an' I fell onto the shore. But it was solid rock where we hit,- an' the boat sprung back an' glancpd oil, an' he fell in tho prow an' He'd fainted, Luey, his last drop of strength was gone. I got upon my knees an' hollered with all my might to rouse him, but lie had no strength, Lucy; he'd give it all to mcl" and tears ran down the big man's cheeks, while the mother sobbed with her face pressed against the pillow. Squeal I Copyright, 1801. l»y F.djmr \V. Nyc.j Oh, Distance, the dear enchanter. Still hold In the magic Tell The glory of far off mountains. The gleam of the tar off saill Last month another hollow Englishman with a di.xTesisover his name, having filled himself full of American hospitality and groceries, crossed the moaning sea, and after having taken the long, wet trail for home, he sat down and wrote a piece for a magazine, which it is safe to say was in very bad taste. Out we like fair play in America, and so it was read here by several people The stray Englishman with dyspepsia, Iwrn no doubt of a former long and unavoid- /OUT, |£9i 0G6 NEWSPAPER CO. imo before con- Hide In thy robes pi splendor, O mountain gold tad grayl O sail in thy snowy whiteness; Come uot into port, I pray. —Carlotta Perry. CHAPTEK IIL sciousncss returned to him. The saws sang on at the mills, the clouds blew ®vcr, the tide running' outward licked The aay went by and the night passed ere Travc Armor awoke. When he came out the door the sun was shining1 and the earth seemed fresh as heaven. The children were racing about, and among them little Gale was flying her curls along the pinenspiced wind; she could not sorrow, the air was so sweet and the morning was so fair. At last the sun began to go down, and he rose in the boat and strained his eyes again across the waters. But nothing was visible, and he sank down, ill with agony and exhaustion. The sky seemed to turn round above him, and the oeean seemed to shift from side to side. He was a pitiable picture as ho sat there, clutching the boat in his dizziness. Ifis hat was gone, one arm was bare to the shoulder where his shirt had been torn away in his struggle with his fathrr, b's face was streaked with b|.)«raTl . ills hair hung about his tlyobbing -temples in sweat - dampened strands. Ills tongue was like dust in his mouth, and his throat seemed lurching. Oh! for a cup of water from the spring on Beaver head! But what right had he to ask for water? lie, a murderer, searching for innocencc! He caught the pars and sent the little craft desperately onward. Presently he stood up and looked abroad again. Half the sun was in the sea, and a great road of gold ran from his boat into the very heart of it. Suddenly, as he gazed, a moving dot entered the golden way, and began drifting into the s*in. A piercing cry of joy leaped from tlio boy's lips. lie Et'ized the oars and the boat flew onward. He was far to the south of his father, and miles and miles of water lay between them; but that one glimpse was more refreshing than days of rest and beakers of wine. Oh! if God would but stay the sunset, would but keep the day alive another hour! But even while ho prayed the light be- Mr. Aide did not like the "surprise party" of the ranche out west. He will like it less the next time he is invited. Western people are informal, but their hearts are warm. They are hospitable to a degree that would naturally surprise and unman a real man for the moment. It would not affect Mr. AId6 especially. however. Clear thtf Way. "I'll be carefril," promised Mrs. Mc- Swat, and her husband went away. \ im / Men of thought, be up and stirring Night and diiy. Sow the seed, withdra w the curtain, Clear the Way! Men of action, aid anil cheer them When he returned in the afternoon she reported that Bhe had found some very nice apples at the grocer's. "What kind are they?' he asked. "The grocer didn't know, but he said they were the best in the market." As ye may. There's a fount about to stream; There's a light about to beam; There's a warmth abc ut to glow; There's a flower aboui, to blow; There's a midnight blackness changing Paul was up with the dawn and had caught a big salmon down by the rocks, and his mother was frying it on the stove under the shed. When Armor, still a little unsteady of step, caipc through the low door he caught sight of Gale. ■ ('/' ' I ' I But the west bates to have an honored guest walk on its wishboue with Mexican spurs. It feels hurt and resents it i have lived nearly all my life in the west, and 1 say without fear of successful contradiction that any man—I do not refer now to Mr. AId6—who has been the guest of the west, and who then seeks to earn eight dollars and forty-five cents by running down his host, is not only a cad and a triumphant ass, but he is unworthy in every possible way on earth, and totally disappointing except in the way of stimulation to a tardy tomato crop. "Did you ask him if they were Ben Davises?' V Into gray! Men of thought men of action. Clear the way I "Why, no. I couldn't think of the name. But I was particular to ask him if they were good." "Let me see tfawfu" The apples were produced. "Just as I expected, Lobelia," he said, as soon as ho saw them. "There are more Ben Davises in the market now than any other kind, and they've worked a lot of 'em off on you. Hew many have you got here?' "Only a half bushel." "Only a half bushel! Sink your teeth in that one, madam!" The woman threw herself upon her knees besido him and called him piteously; the children crowded forward with frightened whispers, and the men stood about her with averted faces. In a moment, in answer to her calling, Armor's eyes opened weakly; thea-with a kind of cry, he tried to lift himself toward her, but was all too weak. i Once the welcome llgut has broken. Who shall si.y What the unimagined glories Of the day? What th« evil that shall perish 11) its jj Aid the dawning, and pen: Aid It, hopes of hone: t men: Aid it, paper, aid it, type; Aid it, for the hour is ripe. And our earnest mus; not slacken Into playJ 1 Men of thought and men of action, Clear the wnyl "Ha, there! Where are ye flyin' to, little canary?" he cried, and the child ran to him and ho tossed her lightly up and down. How big and strong and good-natured he seemed. Tho children clung about his knees when ho was washing his face and laughed and shouted when he dashed the cool flui% upon his feverish head and sprinkled them with the bright drops. When he was wiping his trembling hands he inquired for Paul. "Then the boat lurched," the man went on, huskily, "an* it followed the current past the island, and I see him struggle up an' heard him callin': "Oh, fatherl I done my bestl 1 tried to bring ye backl Mebby some shipH save ye, an* if ye ever reach home an' I never come, tell mother I died innercen—I died inncrcentl' Then I couldn't hear him no more, an* I watched the boat go further an* further, an* I see another island way off to the west, but jest afore he reached it the boat struck something'—a bar, I guess—an' sunk, an' I fell forred an' didn't know no more, only a sort of dreamin' movement of sights and faces, till Eric laid me down there on the sand an' your callin' roused me to life again." "Oh, Travo," moaned the woman, "whero is Paul? Where did you leave him?" After being a guest in the American •parlour" he turns to and seeks to bemire and besmirch, by satire and such things, the furniture and decorations of his illguided hostess, whose error was in not showing him to the sty and letting him look over the album. "lie was lost, Lucyl He was lost! He saved me, but he—was—lost!" /■nJ "He got his breakfast early and went up the shore with the boat to see if he could get some fish," said the mother. "He'll be back about noon and take the clean clothes to the mill." Lol the cloud's about to vanish From thedt.y. And a brazen wrong to crnmblo into clay. Lol the Right's about to conquer. Clear the wiyl With the Right shkll many more Enter, smiling, at lha door; With the giant Wj-oag shall fall Many others, great t.nd small. That for ages long h nve held as For their!prey. Men of thought and men of action. Clear thevrayl "It doesn't seem very good, that's a fact," admitted Mrs. McSwat after tasting it. "6IMME tub money!" he yelled WILDLY. The woman stared at him a moment blankly, then with a cry of desolation she hid her face upon the sick man's breast and wept. "They'll bavo to go back. That's aD there is about it." softly at his hair, but he lay still with his bleeding face turned back in the sunshine, a mute protest against the ever-cursing evils of the cup. The man looked down. An expression of shame and unworthincss passed across his face. When they were seated he ate but little, but drank great draughts of coffee. Very gently Eric lifted her up and led her away to the hut upon the cliff. The men slowly followed, bearing1 the man upon the litter, and laid him down in his humble home. In a little" time Carl camc in with the village doctor. The physician placed a flask of whisky to the exhausted man's lips, but when its fumes smote the patient's nostrils, such a look of terror, hatred and loathing camc into the sufferei*s face that the doctor fell back before it in wonder. SKKVANTS' MANNT.KS AKK I'RUL'UAll. able tint involuntary abstinence from food and I lii' sudden hospitality of his ill mi vised hosts, wrote what lio evidently deemed a scathing criticism of certain social aspects of American life, drew his pay for it and disappeared. Possibly I may lDe charged with speaking too directly on this subject, but it is only my own opinion. 1 do not hold the paper responsible, and if Mr. AId6 does not like it he may readily reach me by post. "I can't send them back, Billiger. 1 didn't take them on trial." "Then empty them is the alley." "I shall not do that either. They will cook all right." After a tune he moaned like one in a troubled sleep, and turned himself. The cooling- water touched his face and he awoke. Then it all came back to him—the struggle and the dreadful hour, and he got upon his feet and staggered up the bank. He looked up the shore to the town, and there his father was, a hatlcss sot, reeling from the grog-shopby the water side. The boy's bine eyes began to blaze; his very blood seemed to curdle with hatred and loathing. The man camc a Little way down the shore where some boats were rocking and tugging at the chains which held them. Evidently he purposed getting°into one of - them to sleep his drunkenness away. "You see, Lucy, when I dropped down out of Deep creek into the sea," he said, in answer to her inquiry, "I smelt a storm comin'. I wasn't very clear in the upper 6tory, I guess, but I thought I could make the bay afore it struck, an' I rowed tremendous. But the harricane came on like a race horse, an' with the first scoop it lifted me an' the boat clean outen the water. I hung in 'er, though a good many times I thought she was goin' upside down, but she kep' on 'er bottom some way an' run on in the darkness an' lightnin' like all possessed. I nabbed holt of the rudder an' kep' rightin' her when the lightnin' fell, which was about every second. The sea looked white like a kettle of water bilin' over, an' suddenly I sec a ship was about to run over me from behind. It was flyin' afore the wind like all creation and jist missed me. I heard thing* rippin' and breakin' on her an* shouts and scream in' as she passed; then somethin' come crashin' agin the boat and knocked me outen it The next second I see by the lightnin'that it was a big platform or stagin' of boards, an' I climbed up onto it. As soon as I got my breath I heard something cryin' by me and looked around, and lo and behold! this little thing was layin' there tied fast to the platform. I got her loose an' she cotched me round the neck and hilt mc fast, an' do you know, Lucy, in my scare an' confusion I thought it was Breeze? Wal," he continued, after a pause, "I hilt to her an' she hilt tome, an' I thought, my soul and body, we'd be throwed ofen the nitcliin'. rollin' r*ft, but it went straight for the head, and all of a suddent I looked up and snw the front of the cliff as white an* terrible in the lightnin' as the face of a corpse, and the next minute we struck with a crash, and me and the child was Bhot up one of the pillars, and I clinched holt of it and I got a footin' an' hung there till Paul come with the rope." ' 'Then keep them by themselves. I am going to the market myself, Mis. Mc- Swat, and I'll see if anybody pnts a lot of cork apples off on me, by jocks!" A few minntes later Mr. McSwat, with a basket on his arm, entered a grocer} store a few blocks away. His name was Hamilton Aide. He says we pronounce vase as we do gaze. This is not true. 1 have not pronounced it that way now for over a year. Mr. Aide is too severe on us. He saw our beautiful scenery whenever the railroads gave him passes, and he was entertained by those who had never seen that kind of fauna before, and he went home and tried to make a Rndyard Kipling of himself, thinking that he was a critic when it was really colic that ailed him. -Charles Mackay. gaa to wane, shadows rose out of the sea and huddled together here and there, the filmy runnCys of the night came over the ocean from the east, the westward moving darkness rolled slowly over him, and he was alone with the stars upon the wide, mysterious main. He says among other tilings that the 'love of privacy, so prominent a feature in the English character, is unknown here, the privilege of exclusion so rigidly enforced in the walls and fences of our gardens, the closed doors of our withdrawing rooms, on the first floor, is rarely enforced here." But it is going to be, Mr. AId6. We are going to be more particular in the future. We are getting acquainted with yonr methods, and we shall be more careful in tho years Tress Thou Ills Hand. If thou dost bid thy frieni farewell. But for one night though that farewell may be. Pros thou his hand in thine. How canst thou tell how far from thee Fata or caprice may lead his steps ere that tomorrow comes? Men have been known '-o lightly torn the cor- His voice failed, and they sat a long time weeping together in silence; and all that might ever have been said oi praise or blame, of sorrow and love, of regret and now resolve, was spoken in that sound of falling tears. "Take it away! Destroy it!" hoarsely cried Trave Armor. "Don't ye, for the love of Heaven, ever offer that to the like of me! Do ye expect to heal mc with poison? Oh, think what it has done to us!" and his rage fell into a broken-hearted moan. "Don't ask me to drink it," he said, "for I've been insane! I've tasted the second death! Don't ask me to go no further!" "Have you any good apples!" be inquired."We have, sir," promptly answered the-grocer. Cries of despair broke from his lips at last, a sickening faintness fell upon him, and his swollen hands dropped limp from the oars. Heaven was against him! He was a murderer! a murderer! alone with his heart upon tho taunting, spectral deep. The next day was a Sabbath and all was quiet in Redwood town. The saws rested from their snarling hum, the millmen, clad in fresh clothing, sat on tho doorsills of the cottages smoking their pipes and looking idly out at the blue fields of tho sea, or down among the fragrant stacks of lumber sat whittling and talking. Some, when the little cracked bell in tho steeple of the church upon the shady hillside called them, had gone with the children to hear what lovo could do in saving men—even the love of a wronged and crippled boy. Surely all their hearts were better for having heard from the minister's lips.the story of Paul Armor's victory, though they knew it well ner of a street. And days have grown tc months, and months to lagging years Ere they have looked in loving eyes again. Parting, at beet, is undo -laid With tears and pain. "What kind are they!" "Missouri redstreaks." "Where are they?" He did not like it because our ladies did not allow him to see them work. This was in deference to him, for no one ever saw him work. He saya he presumes that ladies here do secretly work, but he missed "the pleasant litter of employment.""In this barrel." "They look like the Ben Davis." "I bought them for Missouri redstreaks. They are all selected apples. There isn't a bad one in the lot." "I'd like to taste one." "We don't allow that. Apples are apples now. They're worth about five cents apiece." The boy watched him walk waveringly out upon the landing-plank to a large four-oared boat. The chain hung loosely over the stake at the end of the plank, and the man's foot caught under it, lifting it from the stake, and he fell forward into the boat, giving it a great lurch outward. The wind had been blowing steadily from the land all day, and long crested swells were running westward as far as the eye could reach. The man, from being stunned, pr in a stupor, did not rise, and the boat began drifting outward. The oars had been removed, and the boy turned about with a noise in his ears like gurgling water. The sun seemed to get dark to him; the greatest struggle of his life had come. to come. Therefore, lest sndden death should come be- Slowly, the night wore on, every moment a thorn pressed deep iuto his heart by remorse and fear. And what would the gray dawn bring? Would it bring his innocence back to him? or only the morning's flare upon the empty, beauteous waste? At last his head began to fall from side to side: at times he seemed pitching from the boat, anil ere long the stars looked down pityingly into his upturned face, as, asleep in the stern, with one swollen hand upon the helm and the other trailing over the side of Kind hands and sympathetic hearts brought food and words of comfort to the lonely place that night, and as the days went by the story of Paul Armor's heroism spread from mouth to mouth. His father would never drink again, they said; his thirst was dead; love had followed him, and in the face of blows and injury had brought him back and turned his feet toward tho peaceful kingdom of a virtuous life. If your nobility cannot play a fair ';ame of cards of an evening or over come the pernicious co-respondent complaint, what may we expect of one who is not noble at all, and who visits in our country only what is free, and who then imagines he is familiar with American society? tween. Or time or distance, clafip with pressure firm The hand of him who gcieth forth: Unseen. Fate goetb t^o —Coventry Patmore. If he will come among us again at some time in the future he will probably notice the pleasant litter of employment, and he will f urnish the most of it himself. Afterward a dejected Englishman may be seen going home with his pancreas in the inoruing paper "Been a deacon in one church for fifteen years!" echoed the passenger in the check suit. "That's a long time. I dare say yon have pasftod the contribution basket through the congregation a great many times?" rb« Deaeos Crushes * Time Honored Lie. 1 do not know Mr. Aide very well, but it has been my misfortune to cross his plague stricken trail , once or twice to gnaw at the closely cropped herbage among the hills where yet still lingered the echo of his bray. "That'll be fifty cents." "All right." The apples were put in a paper Back, deposited in the basket, paid for and Mr. McSwat went home. "Give me half a peck." Time passed. The saws in tho big mills kept up their mellow hum, the schooners sailed in and out the little port, and Trave Armor lay sick in tho hut upon the hill. Slowly his strength came back, but his heart was like lead when he thought of Paul, and the mother's feet dragged heavily as she went about her work. One day ho called tho to his bedside and said, very gently: "Lucy, ken ye hear it now? Mebby ye could bear it better if ye heard once how brave our poor boy went down." He did not like our theaters: especially those, 1 judge, who did not remember him at the door, and v:ho did not feel like giving him a box because he con- "Hundreds of times," replied the passenger in the black t.lpaca. "And I suppose—ha! ha!—you have found a great many—eh?—what's this?" The deacon, with im intensely weary look on his face, hsid drawn from bis pocket and was holding out for the inspection of the man in the check snit a time stained card on which was printed in large letters the following inscription: before. / ,~4\ Pi] Over on the head the day broke beautifully, yet with little cheer, for sorrow and heavy poverty were there. The children felt it, and the mother went sadly to and fro, longing for her lame, lost boy. Near noon she stood in the doorway looking out to sea. A big yacht, with all its white sails spread, blew into the little harbor, but she did not see it, for her eyes vere Xve*. She was thinking of that island, somewhere to the west of the blue horizon line, upon whoso cruel bar her boy went down. She thought of him as he used to lie upon her breast when a child, and again she seemed to see him, as she had so many times, coming up the path to the door where she stood, his straw hat in his hand, his light curls blown about his frank blue eyes. And yet when she turned from these fancies there was something sweet at the bottom of her heart. She could not tell whence it came. Was it because the sky was so beautiful with its flocks of 6nowy clouds, the sea so blue, the air so crystal clear, the sunshine so pretty on th« tree-tops? She saw, too, that the children seemed happier than for many days, and when she went into the sick man's room he met her with a smile. Judging by the sentiment expressed by the low, coarse innkeejiers along the chicken feather trimmed orbit through which ha passed, it will be money in his pocket if he will not come that way any more If he should, there are intimations that a good recipe far removing egg stains from wearing apparel will be a great convenience to him on hisD [/laiicr ride home. In the privacy of his own home Mr. McSwat proceeded shortly afterward to open the sack of apples. "Don't get them mixed, Lobelia," he said magisterially. "These are Missouri redstreaks. He started to get the boat at the head and save the man; then he stood still with his. fists clenched, and watched the boat comc down tho bay. No one seemed to notice it, and outward it drifted, homo on the long, rolling swells. It passed by the boy, and he wavered and strained in tho conflicting currents of feeling that beset him. Should he save him? He saved him but yestermom! Lo, his reward! But was not he who might save a life and would not, almost as guilty as he who took one? Something like this passed through his mind, but he could not reason; his thoughts seemed scattered and confused by his anger. "I can't see any difference, Billiger. They both look like Ben Davis apples." ■'That's all yon know abont apples," he retorted. "Cast your eye on this one. Ever see a nicer specimen?" He took a bite of it, threw the apple nnder the table and tried another. : HXYER FOUND IS BOX ! Z A BUTTON : ~ +' or any soirr on kind : in Mi' life. Mr. AId6, whose signature shows that he neglected to put up his fly screens jntil too late in the season, says that .uanners among "servants of both sexes are peculiar, as indeed they are in all the lower orders (if one may be allowed such an expression about Americans)." The mother sat down and hid her face against tho pillow by his head, and he went sorrowfully on: —Chicago Tribune. 1 "If these are Missouri redstreaks." he said, as the second one followed the first and struck the floor somewhat harder, "I don't want any more of them." Lively Times. "1 guess I abused him afore it happened. It all seems like an awful dream now, but I guess I tuck the money from him ye earned awashin', an' struck him, too; but I was crazy, Lucy! The drink did it! Then I don't remember any more, only that I left him lyin' white Judging from Mr. Aide's familiarity with American society, the article he has written should have been entitled. "Some Aspects of Life Among American Servants." Then this gentle criticism of mine would have been unnecessary and unwritten. "Billiger," announced Mrs. McSwat, who had been making some investigations on her own account, "there isn't a particle of difference between these and the apples I got this morning. Were you careful to ask the grocer whether they were Ben" A heavy silence fell between them. He longed to speak of the boy's bravery, but in the face of his own shameful life, the words stuck in his throat. Presently he arose. ®E SANK DOWN ILL WITH AGONY ANT The boat drifted through the mouth of the bay; there the unbroken wind quickened the swells, and it passed into the open deep. Thousands of miles of water spread away before it, and without food or oars the unconscious father went outward into the glimmering waste. EXHAUSTION* the boat, he went plunging onward into mystery and gloom. "You think you're smart, don't you?" "You don't let any grocer work off a lot of cork apples on you, by jocks?" "I guess, I'll go up to the wharf and see Eric Iverson," he said. "Mebby I ken get him to come around this way to-night and talk with the little thing. I'm thinkin' she's Norwegian, an' mebbe he can find out where she's from." "Dinners," lie says, "as a rule, in private houses, are less Rood and less well served than I expected to find them." You will notice a great falling off even from this, Hamilton, if yon will come back here next season. There will be a very noticeable flavor of pounded glass in your pie, and every bed quilt in our broad and beautiful land will contain a little checkered sample of your loud and vociferous panties pried from the unwilling jaws of the household dog. WITH A LKTTKK OF INTRODUCTION. templated roasting the republic in a future piece. He says that our comedies and comic operas are bad and our taste vitiated. "Vigorous horseplay, comic songs, breakdowns and a 'funny man' satisfy the American." he says, and if the lonesome managers of the dives who gave the bright young snoozer passes do not feel pleased with the above notice they must be more careful in future regarding whom they admit Brave Eric Iverson and a comrade had been absent six days upon the sea, searching for the lost man and his son, and the people of Redwood town began to wondcf if they, too, had not gone down to rise no more. But the two men had taken water and provisions with them, and many who knew of Eric's tender heart said it would be long ere they returned could he bring no tidings to the sorrowing woman and her children up there on the frowning head. No storm had come; only a soft and steady wind rolling the shining swells forever outward. Day and night it blew, and incoming schooners had to make long tacks to right and left that they might enter the little harbor. CHAPTER IV. "I reckon they'll cook, won't they?" he retorted, "same as the others?" At last the boat dwindled to a speck and died in the blue gulf, and a great White cloud shut down uoon it. like the marble covering to a graven At that a poignant sense of separation fell upon the boy, the first sharp throe of anguish, as the bond that nature had placed between them parted. lie stood appalled at the deed he had done. A vision of the man starving, raving, drowning, rose before him, and, with a cry of terror, he broke through the hate and rage that bound him, and ran towards the head. "Yes, but they'll haves to be kept separate, you know," rejoined Mrs. Mc- Swatt sweetly. "I don't think they are quite as good as" "Yes, Trave," said the woman. Presently footsteps came to the door, and Eric and his comrade, with their sweethearts, entered. Behind them were others bearing bags and baskets, and the children leaped with joy. Armor arose and came out. His step was slow but steady and his face was clear. The children, with Gale among them,-shouted and danced with glee to see him grown so strong, and the big man's eyes were filled with blessed tears as he looked around upon the faces of his friends. Then he stooped down and said: "Good-by, little canary; I'm goin* to fetch some one that cun understand y'r pipin'.'' The child looked at him wonderingly a moment, then put her arms about his neck and kissed him. "Arrah, but it's loine toimes they're a-havin' down there at the openin' of the new hotel. There goes the fourth man they've chucked oat o' that same window inside an hour."—Life. Mr. McSwat arose in his wrath. He emptied those two sacks of apples into the basket, carried the gorgeous fruit out to the alley, poured it into the slop barrel, and made his way by a devious route to a grocery store on another block. "Some of the dishes are excellent, but," he adds, as he dips his trenchant pen in the bluing bottle at his cozy little hall bedroom in Wliitechapel street, "the prevalent taste for uwcookinga canvasback duck generally renders that admirable bird a forbidden fruit to me." But that is not what renders it "a forbidden fruit" to him at home. He then turns his little dyeing and repairing works on the j/ress. "As a rule the press," he says, "is utterly indifferent to the truth or falsehood of a statement," and so on. small town has its paper (price 2id.), and there are many who read uothing but that paper every day Habituating the mind thus to its morning mess of nastiness is a great national misfortune." That Is true, Hamilton, but it is not so bad as to live in a town where the nobility do things so nasty that even the London press dare not print them "Oh, Trave," said the wife, "you won't drink any more, will you? See, it's like as if Breeze had cdme back from Heaven and was beggin* you with kisses not to be bad any more," and she was crying on his breast The Johnnie Cliaflle Letters. Mister Editor]-Wen u go about in Noo York u see so tnenny funny things and peeple, mostly wimmen. Sum wimmen walks erroitud with doods, with glass ize, others ha- little puppies led by a string, and sum ilia* grate big dogs biggem a kaf, with a mouth that is bigger than a travellin vailise when it smiles tiie drab pug dog; is the ngliest, but the wa they lnv him is a sin, his tale knrls up behind. "Yes." "Got any apples?" "What kind?" "Missouri" The boat was lying there with prow upon the yellow sand. lie pushed it out and leaped in and spread out the oars, those trusty water-wings that were to move him upon the wildest, strangest journey of his life. lie swept her out upon the swells. Thank fortune, his arms and chest were well-nigh as thickly muscled as a man's! His poor, halting legs would not be needed in this bitter race! He thought of his mother and looked up at Beaver head. Carl was standing upon its verge. The sha*low seemed lifted; even the mother smiled; something strange and sweet was in the air. The man gave a groan of wild contrition and helplessness. . . "Missouri be hanged!" bawled Mr. Mc- Swat, with blood in his eyo. "No, Lucy, I won't ever tetch ft again," he said. "Ill strive agin it, an' won't ever tetch it no more!" And he went away with clinched fists, swearing in his soul that liquor should never pass his lips again. But alas, for the man who once sets himself on fire with this inhuman thirst. His will is turned to ashes in the flames. Paul came home at noon with a shining string of fish, but the father did not come. When dinner was over the boy shouldered his big bag of clothes and started for the mills. Over the hut upon the cliff the hours of dread and r.harp expectancy had passed, and now the gloom that, comes of settled, certain death seemed creeping on. The mother, torn with grief and apprehension through the first days,, could do nothing. She seemed to live day and night there at tho edge of the precipice, with her hungry eyes searching the wide, mocking rcachcs of the sea. Suddenly there rose the noise of many voices near the hut, cheering and singing in the sunshine. Eric sprang up, and all stood still and barkened. The singing and the voices came nearer. A great light came into the mother's eves. She held her hand hard aoninst her leaping heart and listened. Suddenly Eric leaped out the door with an answering shout They all followed him, and along the top of the green bluff a crowd poured into view, and there, borne upon the shoulders of the cheering men, sat Paul Armorl The reason he does not keep his flabby being continually upholstered with cauvasback duck at home is probably the same one that prompted him to have his wine and the bliicking of his boots charged to Mrs. Stanley at San Jose, Cal., in the spring of the present year of our Lord and of the freedom of the United States from the rule of Great Britain the one hundred and fifteenth. clerk, "Yes, sir," answered the frightened "Look here, young man!" demanded Mr. McSwat. "Have you got any genuine Missouri apples?" "Y-yes, sir." "What do you call them?" "Some of 'em's pippins and some of 'em's redstreaks and some hain't got any name. They're just apples, you know." "TAKE IT AW AT, DESTROY IT!" ITOARSELT CRIED TRAVE ARMOR. As Americana, Mr. Aide, we have our faults. We know it and we are trying to do better. When the people of your country were of our age they had not yet begun to walk on their hind legs steadily at nil, and most of your titled people were squealing in the branches of tho umbrageous forest. The ritch wimmen that ride in karridges have a footman on the box hoo wears a kote with brass buttuns, und who looks as if he was ded so dignifide is he—his pants are jo tite he kant wink his ize, and how he gets them off i dont no he sleeps in them I reckon. His pale kam legs look as if i;hey was immovable and karved outer on a peece of wood they are jointless. Mebby them legs are made of celluloyd i dont no. Wen the riteti young ladies go to church they is followed by another footman who has ati imported acksent, and was (altered at th# Icustoin hows as a work of art he has mutton chop wiskers, *nd karries the laciie's preyer book he *lso has a kokade on his hat wich looks redicklis. and dead down there where we met, till I came to myself that night away out to sea. For awhile, Lucy, I thought I had died, and was in that wild, awful after-life which was only fit for the like of me. "Tell mother that father has drifted out to sea, an' that I'm goin' after him!" shouted Paul. "Oh, Carl, tell her I'll bring him back to her if I live—if I— live!" and he laid the boat about on the water, and sent her out with all his strength. But now she began to work and wash again, moving about much like one in a saddening1 dream. Little Oale, though her eyes would sometimes fill with tears, played with Lannie and Gabe under the trees, happily forgetful of the dark shadow of sorrow that lay upon the place. But Carl and Jimmy felt the cloud of sadness about them, .and much of the time were silent. The elder boy began helping his mother as Paul had done, and Jimmy kept the children from the precipice and watched tho azure circle of the horizon for Eric's sail. It seemed to the poor mother that tho rescuers would never return, and the blighted look grew in her face, and her eyes looked sunken and anxious as she lifted them hour by hour to the wide world of water. Mr. Aid6 accompanied Mrs. Stanley, Mrs. Tennant and Captain Jephson to San Jose, where he registered as "Mrs. Stanley and party." They stopped at the Vendoine, a first class, tip top hotel, which Jiad preserved blameless reputation up to that time. Mr. Aide, the new Rudyard Kipling, who will doubtless lecture here by and by, was asked to register for the party, which he would have done if he had ever traveled before. He flew into a beastly passion and refused to register or give names of any of the party, insisting that it was a piece of American impertinence on the part of the hotel that he never saw equaled. He finally told how many rooms they wanted, to which he added a private dining room. "What do you call your beat Missouri apples? Your very best, recollect." "I kea't tell ye, Lucy, what I suffered after that; I ain't got no words to make ye sec it with, an' it would only hurt ye to hear it, but I know that morning come at last after that awfid night, an' I was all afire, an' fearful sights and shapes was all about me, an' I don't know why I didn't distroy myself to end my misery. Then that day went by, an' it was like years an' years of torture, an' the night come again, an' I think another day, an' then it seemed like my reason comc back. But the boat had no oars, an' I was so weak from havin' no food an' from strugglin' an' figlitin' with the fearful things that seemed pursuin' me, I jest laid like a dead man in the bottom of the boat as it went plungin' I don't know where. "Our best Missouri apples, sir, are called the Ben Da" "Keep 'em!" roared Mr. McSwat. "Yes, 6ir!" promptly acquiesced the boy, with his hair on end. We know that we are still crude. One of our greatest weaknesses consists in being picked up and "done up" by every imitation man who gets a letter of introduction from an English barber and comes here with an appetite and a hat box to frighten tho food supply, founder himself, write a piece and go home. We have done that a good deal, and we ought to know better;' but we do not. We go right on doing it, because we desire to encourage foreign emigration. But it is being overdone. We need a change. "I'll bring hbn home, mother, if I ken," he said. "Don't worry," and he "Went limping on. lie was pale and weak, and his poor hands, swathed in white bandages, hung down over the men's shoulders, but hia face was almost like a star. Ah, there was his old mother with her face wreathed in light and tearful smiles, and his father, looking as if Heaven had opened, lu a moment they had come together, and there was kissing and When he had delivered the clothes, he turned off into the town. There all the streets ran shambling down and converged upon the wharves, and he went op one and down another looking vainly for his father. Presently, with a thrill of horror, he saw tho man come reeling from a little grog shop down by the water side. An aching heaviness spread through all his being as he stood dumbly watehing him. What had it all come to, his saving this man and bringing him back into the world? With a bitter throb he started toward him. The man saw 1'im coming, ae he stood leering about, started down the shore toward home. The boy followed, hoping in some way to turn him aside that his mother might be spared this torturing sight. Suddenly, as the father zig-zagged forward, he turned and confronted the boy. "Tell mother I let him go! Tell her I couldn't wait to see her! O Carl, bo good to her if me and father never come back—no—more!" Then the voice failed; the boy upon the cliff could hear it no longer, and turned and ran toward the house, and Paul went outward on the swells. "Lobelia," said Mr. McSwat meekly, about ten minutes later, as he edged into the kitchen, "dan't say anything about these—these apples. At this time of year, Lobelia, apples ain't worth shucks, anyhow. Here's ten dollars for pins and ribbons."—Chicago Tribune. A fifth avenoo telle going 3 church on last sanday had more flours on hei bozom than wtid have tilled the inside of a texia kow the had 2 karry so menny flours praptt thats the reeson she Is tired and the inglish servant bad 2 tote here preyir book 8he shood nave made hiiu tote the flours as he was the itrongest and slieD the book, but that wood not have bin in good form. irying and handshaking and happy, laughter, Then noticcd that little Sale was crying for happiness in the inns of a lady he had not seen before, rod as soon as Paul could get his breath ho cried: IIo sat lacing the g.'eat furrowed front of the head as he pulled. Would ho ever see it again? All that ho loved was up there, save the poor father tossing toward the sunset. He saw figures running to and fro upon the height; his mother was among them! A choking lump rose into his throat, but he never once slackened his desperate stroke. Outward he went, outward, outward, as if life and hope lay only in the dangerous central sea. The head began to sink; slowly it went down, but his eyes never left it for a moment. Soon its top alone was visible, a bluish spot with moving specks upon it. Then slowly that, too, went down, and reappeared, and sank again, and he wai alone upon the wide, mysterious sea. Accommodating. A sign on a railroad restaurant not • hundred miles from Detroit reads: Therefore do not come again, Mr. Aide, for quite awhile. Stay at home and prepare your affairs so that you may be ready whenever the tardy and overworked fool killer of Great Britain gets around your way. DINNER ready! You don't have to waitl We Uavc men hired to do thatl "Mother! Father! thia is the little thing's mammy! She was on the, steamer that took mo off the island where I was washed ashore after the' Everything was ordered sent to the dining rooms—wines, canvas back duck, etc. In the morning the two gentlemen left early. They paid their own bills. The clerk took their word for what was theirs and what was not. Other mothers, touched by pity, came to help the drunkard's broken family, bringing food and clothing, and as the time passed the village babbled with dark prophecies of shipwreck for Eric, and conjecture as to the fatal phases of this strange race for life upon the sea. The men at Eric's wharf where he had been foreman of the lumber loaders so long looked many times each day towards the west, thinking of their absent leader, and wives and mothers standing at the gates or in the doorways of the cottages upon the heights about the bay thought often of the lonely family over on the head, and turned their eyes earnestly towards the far horizon line. "But the thirst was killed in me, Lucy; it was burned outl The sufferin' I'd gone through had set me freel But when night come again I seemed a-freezin' an' then a miserable sickness set in, an' my head seemed gOin' round an' round, an' everything I ever seen or done in the world kep' comin' an' goin' afore me, seeming big an' clear, but kind of strange :\s if it was a dream. Then 1 knowed the daylight come again, but I couldn't get up, an' the sights kep' comin' an' goin', an' sometimes I seemed a drownin', when all of a suddent I see our poor boy's face over —Detroit Free Press. Revisiting the Battlefield. boat sunk! She took care of me till we reached San Francisco, an' I brought her here! She had my knees fixed in the city an', oh, mother! I an't lame anv more!" Says mar 2 par wy do they maik snch fools of themseivep bekos they aip they inglish says pat. .C1 I told u be4 in Rome When Mrs. Stanley came to leave she fonnd of course wine she did not order, and had to pay for blacking the boots of this keen critic of American manners and cookery, this able savant of British cold victuals, this bright young hybrid whose surprised and delighted third stomach was tossed across the troubled deep within the year now only half gone by. you doo as the roi York you doo its tj time.—Johnnie Ch xanists do and in Noo le inglish do more next affie in Texas Siftings. "Son, you're a trump, and I want the money ye got for the washin'," he said, thickly. Then the handshaking and cries of surprise and gladness were renewed, ani3 the millmen and wharfmcn 6wung their hats again and gave threo mighty cheers for "The Hero of Beaver Head," and went back to the town. bate Mame. Wool—Why do they call these cigars Henry Clay, 1 wonder? "Sommer." This ia the season of the year When school lets out and small boys swarm; The undue iDeach will soon bo here. Ami colic in ills swellest form. Paul gave a cry of horror and sprang back, but in his lameness he stumbled and fell, and the father jumped heavily upon him. Van Pelt—Couldn't say, unless it is because Henry Clay is dead.—Lake Shore News. "Gimme the money I" he yelled wildly, as they struggled; but the boy only gave a pitiful cry, and got up with him. Then they began to struggle as they stood, writhing, reeding, striking, and suddenly they plunged headlong down towards the water. .There a cup-like dent in the bank caught and held them, but the boy fell beneath and was partly stunned, and the man got upon him with his knees and held him while he tore the money from his pocket As he got up, the boy, like one in a terrible dream, clutched him desperately about the knees, but the rum-crazed father struck htm a cruel blow in the face and h® fell back senseless at the water's edge. He closed his eyes, his breath coming hard with the struggle, and a great wretchedness fell upon him as the land, with all it held, was parted utterly from him. But he did not pause; outward, outward he went, crying in his heart to God for time, for daylight, in which to save the one he had lost. Trave Armor is an old man now, but since that day he has never tasted rum. Paul is a merchant in San Francisco. Sitting ono day upon his porcu and looking out upon the sunlit bay, ho told mo in part what I have told you here. Two pretty children were playing down below us in the grass, and a happy faco was bending over a cradle just inside tlio door. lie Vai and He IVain't. When Jonah created that stir on the ship. And his comrades concluded they'd finish the trip The festive cracker soon will pop. The empty pisjtol will explode. The druggist got his annual crop. The doctor reap where ho has sewod, That Is the reason why Mrs. Tennant afterward spoke so bitterly of her bill at the Vendome. Her guest had "done her up," as we say here in America, especially among the lower classes, if one may speak in that way here, and 1 think one may if one pays one's bills. "I hardly knowed it, Lucy, it was so changed. It loolicd almost like little Breeze's face when she laid in her coffin, an' I thought it was part of my dreams. Then it said: 'Father, I've come! I've come to save yc! Don't ye know me?' an' I roused myself an' see it was him. Then he tried to get into the boat with me. but lie was so weak H seemed like he couldn't stand, and the boats plunged as if they would swamp, but he held 'em together, an' when they lunged forred he fell into the boat with me. In a minute he got onto his knees an' cried out wild like: 'Ohl father, I can't save yel I can't save ye! the oars are iu the other boat!' an' On the seventh day the wind shifted and lulled, and just before sunset the mother-came wearily down the path and stood looking out upon the shining flood. Her heart seemed numb with longing. When would she wake from this dreadful dream? Without him, and gave him, as 'twere.astraight tip. Which they did in a very brief minute. And down in tie paunch of the whale he waa dropped This is the time when icemen blow, And hold their noses high in air; No longer they the plumbers know, But hobnob with the millionaire. ounC any "Yes; and I waa thinking how you must have expanded since the war. Here's the tree you stood behind daring the whole battle, and it covered you well then."—Life. Suddenly he leaped up and looked narrowly across the vast expanse nothing was there save the ever-changing belts of light and shade as the fleecy clouds blew over, and with a piteous cry he sprang to the oars and drove the heavy boat onward. Oh, if he could but reach his father ere the sun ceased to brighten distant objects on the water! So sudden he cracked all the ribs when he stopped. The bee now flits from flower to flower. With Incidental trips elsewhere; And when he demenstrates his power Profanity perirades the air. Hamilton suffered most severely in the west. He found no congenial society there, all the Englishmen of his stripe having been hanged on their arrival, or on most anything else in fact that came handy in a prairie country where timber is rare and hard to get hold of. "And what became of the bit, of a Norwegian girl?" I asked. This speech from his labial portals outcropped. "I'm in it! Exceedingly in it!" The children were playing down on the sand below, and suddenly Carl gave a shout of joy; the mother looked up, and there, seoming not three miles away, was Eric's boat! She gazed, trembling from head to foot. Yes, it was surely Eric's boat, battered and with the sails patched and torn. "Oh, I forgot," he answered with a smile, "she who once was little Oalo is Mrrc. Paul Armor now!" Out when, with his tenement sorely displeased. He tore and he whooped and ho yawped and he sneezed. Till he made tho cetacean feel bo diseased He could no longer bear it and grin It. The fish made a spurt for the shore thereabout. And he served on his tenant a writ of get out. And landing him there did triumphantly shout, "Eh, Jonahl old boy! you're not In Itl" —Boston Courier. Now on the fat men's polished domes The flies their annual May fest hold; Sweet graduate:) now write their "pomes" About the NeVrness of the Old. Suitable. She—I want to get a real nice comedy suitable for an amateur theatrical company.[the end.] He bears down especially hard on Colorado Springs and Denver, two of the most delightful cities in the world, for 1 know, having visited Paris, London and For Rheumatism, Lumbago, Neuralgia, Grvnp 8nd Collie there is no remedy superior the genuine Dr. Thomas' Klcctric 0.1. Oh, summer has Its rare delights (Although mosquitoes are in bloom), Cor girls with ice cream appetites. Beneath whose belts there's "lota of room.' —tit Louis Republic. Clerk—Yes, ma'am. How would yon like to look over some of Shakespeare's tragedies—Brooklyn Life. He pulled with every muscle strained well-nigh to breaking. At last he felt

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\ Oldest Nevvsnaoei in the Wyoming Valle\ PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., Fill DAY, AUGUST 14, 1891. A Weekly Local and Family louraal. himself turn sic-U with upon lii:-; knees anil das heed with water, lie w sweat and his heart wa labor ■lied li and tell facc and Breathlessly she hurried down and eamo among the children, where, whispering' and clinging to each other's hands, they waited at the water's edge. "After awhile lie said, sort of slow like: 'Father, I've done my best I couldn't use the oars if I had 'em, my hands are so bad. Mebby we ken steer onto some island an' get saved.' Then I see his poor hands was swelled to the shoulders from rowin', an' worn raw an' bleed in', an' I kissed 'em an' cried over 'em, an' we talked an' forgive one away it drifted an' we was helpless. WILLIAM NY US OPINION t.ast haginaw within tlie past two years, paying my hotel bills and either blacking my own boots or gladly putting np for it. lCnchantmont. as drip; ing with The sails we see on l:hc ocean M'SWAT'S APPLES. s fllltt' g from Are as white as wiiite C au be. But uever one in lihit harUjr As white as the sail* at sea. He Trie* Bis 'laud at Buying Them, but long and violent action. lie thrust his hot arms in the water to the shoulders as he hung over the side of the boat, and his dizziness passed. Then he leaped up again and pulled feverishly forward. The first great surging sense of crime and pollution never lifted itself from his spirit for a moment. A deadly exhaustion began to crcep upon him, but he could not rest; the boat kept leaping outward, and over all the face of- the deep there was no sound save the oars working in the locks, his laboring breath, and the low slap and gurgle of the water under the advancing prow. Just when the sun was sinking Eric's yacht swept thro\igh the mouth of the little bay. The children held their breath, and the mother strained her pale face outward. She did not see the men waving their hats up at the wharves, nor tho wives and mothers watching from the yards and doorways about the bay. The boat was all there was in the world to her. How slowly it camel Was Trave and her lame boy there? That was Eric's face, and there was his brave companion. What other object was that lying on a litter in tho bow? Tho woman shook as with an ague, but even while she trembled and questioned the boat rounded on the glassy field and swept up to the landing by the head, and Eric, battered and worn, leaped out and made it fast. But the woman did not see him: she was clinging to the side of the boat and straining- her cye3 down upon that muffled figure in the bow. Men came running from the bluff, and the platform was pently lifted out, and there looking like death itself, lay Trave Armor, c! it'sod irrhis rags and tjie dying light of "the, IT IS NICE TO BE A CRITIC LIKE 1 call the attention of every crowned head in Europe to the fact that while at their tables I did not ask what was coming next or what their victuals cost them laid down. 1 am not regarded as a stickler for social high church or monkey business when I make a formal call on a monarch or a P. P. (J. call on royalty. but when i cease to pay for the polish that glints and glitters on my bright young bunions, or fork over my liquor bills for a W. (J. T. U. to put up for, may my right hand cleave to tla* roof of my mouth, and an incensed peuple play shinney o'er my forgotten grave AlasI "Lobelia," said Mr. McSwat as he pat oniris hat and heavy May overcoat preparatory to starting down town, "I wish you would buy some apples this morning."" HAMILTON AIDE The clouds that crown the mountains With purple and irolden light Turn to cold gray n Jst and vapor Ere ever we reach the-height. llecaurt* You Can C'ooD« to America ttml Hi-ohm on C'anvasharit Dark rikI Such The mountains wear crowns of glory- Only when seen fitjm afar, And the sails lose all their white nose Inside of the hartor bar. another. Thlngx mill Thru Kiln Home am) "Any particular kind, Billiger?" inquired Mrs. McSwat. "I want good apples of course. Almost any land will do except the Ben Davis. The Ben Davis apple," he said, with the emphasis of a 'nan who felt deeply on the subject, "is utterly worthless. It looks nice enough, bnt it is wooden, tough and tasteless. I wouldn't give one respectable crabapplefor a whole orchard of Ben Davises." "Then he tried to steer tho boat, but he couldn't set up, an' for a long time we laid at the bottom of the boat like dead men. But about night ho struggled up an' said; 'Father, there's a island ahead, an' I guess I'll steer onto It, caise the sea has been gettin' worse for three days, an' wo can't keep afloat much longer.' So he managed to steer for the island, an' when we got nigh, he said again: 'I am 'feard, father, the current's goin' to carry us by.' And ho set tho helm to port an' tied it. Then he got mo forrcd into tho prow, an' when wo was about to strike he held mo up with Ids knees an' teeth, an' what lie could with his poor hands, an' when we struck he lifted an' throwed me ahead, an' I fell onto the shore. But it was solid rock where we hit,- an' the boat sprung back an' glancpd oil, an' he fell in tho prow an' He'd fainted, Luey, his last drop of strength was gone. I got upon my knees an' hollered with all my might to rouse him, but lie had no strength, Lucy; he'd give it all to mcl" and tears ran down the big man's cheeks, while the mother sobbed with her face pressed against the pillow. Squeal I Copyright, 1801. l»y F.djmr \V. Nyc.j Oh, Distance, the dear enchanter. Still hold In the magic Tell The glory of far off mountains. The gleam of the tar off saill Last month another hollow Englishman with a di.xTesisover his name, having filled himself full of American hospitality and groceries, crossed the moaning sea, and after having taken the long, wet trail for home, he sat down and wrote a piece for a magazine, which it is safe to say was in very bad taste. Out we like fair play in America, and so it was read here by several people The stray Englishman with dyspepsia, Iwrn no doubt of a former long and unavoid- /OUT, |£9i 0G6 NEWSPAPER CO. imo before con- Hide In thy robes pi splendor, O mountain gold tad grayl O sail in thy snowy whiteness; Come uot into port, I pray. —Carlotta Perry. CHAPTEK IIL sciousncss returned to him. The saws sang on at the mills, the clouds blew ®vcr, the tide running' outward licked The aay went by and the night passed ere Travc Armor awoke. When he came out the door the sun was shining1 and the earth seemed fresh as heaven. The children were racing about, and among them little Gale was flying her curls along the pinenspiced wind; she could not sorrow, the air was so sweet and the morning was so fair. At last the sun began to go down, and he rose in the boat and strained his eyes again across the waters. But nothing was visible, and he sank down, ill with agony and exhaustion. The sky seemed to turn round above him, and the oeean seemed to shift from side to side. He was a pitiable picture as ho sat there, clutching the boat in his dizziness. Ifis hat was gone, one arm was bare to the shoulder where his shirt had been torn away in his struggle with his fathrr, b's face was streaked with b|.)«raTl . ills hair hung about his tlyobbing -temples in sweat - dampened strands. Ills tongue was like dust in his mouth, and his throat seemed lurching. Oh! for a cup of water from the spring on Beaver head! But what right had he to ask for water? lie, a murderer, searching for innocencc! He caught the pars and sent the little craft desperately onward. Presently he stood up and looked abroad again. Half the sun was in the sea, and a great road of gold ran from his boat into the very heart of it. Suddenly, as he gazed, a moving dot entered the golden way, and began drifting into the s*in. A piercing cry of joy leaped from tlio boy's lips. lie Et'ized the oars and the boat flew onward. He was far to the south of his father, and miles and miles of water lay between them; but that one glimpse was more refreshing than days of rest and beakers of wine. Oh! if God would but stay the sunset, would but keep the day alive another hour! But even while ho prayed the light be- Mr. Aide did not like the "surprise party" of the ranche out west. He will like it less the next time he is invited. Western people are informal, but their hearts are warm. They are hospitable to a degree that would naturally surprise and unman a real man for the moment. It would not affect Mr. AId6 especially. however. Clear thtf Way. "I'll be carefril," promised Mrs. Mc- Swat, and her husband went away. \ im / Men of thought, be up and stirring Night and diiy. Sow the seed, withdra w the curtain, Clear the Way! Men of action, aid anil cheer them When he returned in the afternoon she reported that Bhe had found some very nice apples at the grocer's. "What kind are they?' he asked. "The grocer didn't know, but he said they were the best in the market." As ye may. There's a fount about to stream; There's a light about to beam; There's a warmth abc ut to glow; There's a flower aboui, to blow; There's a midnight blackness changing Paul was up with the dawn and had caught a big salmon down by the rocks, and his mother was frying it on the stove under the shed. When Armor, still a little unsteady of step, caipc through the low door he caught sight of Gale. ■ ('/' ' I ' I But the west bates to have an honored guest walk on its wishboue with Mexican spurs. It feels hurt and resents it i have lived nearly all my life in the west, and 1 say without fear of successful contradiction that any man—I do not refer now to Mr. AId6—who has been the guest of the west, and who then seeks to earn eight dollars and forty-five cents by running down his host, is not only a cad and a triumphant ass, but he is unworthy in every possible way on earth, and totally disappointing except in the way of stimulation to a tardy tomato crop. "Did you ask him if they were Ben Davises?' V Into gray! Men of thought men of action. Clear the way I "Why, no. I couldn't think of the name. But I was particular to ask him if they were good." "Let me see tfawfu" The apples were produced. "Just as I expected, Lobelia," he said, as soon as ho saw them. "There are more Ben Davises in the market now than any other kind, and they've worked a lot of 'em off on you. Hew many have you got here?' "Only a half bushel." "Only a half bushel! Sink your teeth in that one, madam!" The woman threw herself upon her knees besido him and called him piteously; the children crowded forward with frightened whispers, and the men stood about her with averted faces. In a moment, in answer to her calling, Armor's eyes opened weakly; thea-with a kind of cry, he tried to lift himself toward her, but was all too weak. i Once the welcome llgut has broken. Who shall si.y What the unimagined glories Of the day? What th« evil that shall perish 11) its jj Aid the dawning, and pen: Aid It, hopes of hone: t men: Aid it, paper, aid it, type; Aid it, for the hour is ripe. And our earnest mus; not slacken Into playJ 1 Men of thought and men of action, Clear the wnyl "Ha, there! Where are ye flyin' to, little canary?" he cried, and the child ran to him and ho tossed her lightly up and down. How big and strong and good-natured he seemed. Tho children clung about his knees when ho was washing his face and laughed and shouted when he dashed the cool flui% upon his feverish head and sprinkled them with the bright drops. When he was wiping his trembling hands he inquired for Paul. "Then the boat lurched," the man went on, huskily, "an* it followed the current past the island, and I see him struggle up an' heard him callin': "Oh, fatherl I done my bestl 1 tried to bring ye backl Mebby some shipH save ye, an* if ye ever reach home an' I never come, tell mother I died innercen—I died inncrcentl' Then I couldn't hear him no more, an* I watched the boat go further an* further, an* I see another island way off to the west, but jest afore he reached it the boat struck something'—a bar, I guess—an' sunk, an' I fell forred an' didn't know no more, only a sort of dreamin' movement of sights and faces, till Eric laid me down there on the sand an' your callin' roused me to life again." "Oh, Travo," moaned the woman, "whero is Paul? Where did you leave him?" After being a guest in the American •parlour" he turns to and seeks to bemire and besmirch, by satire and such things, the furniture and decorations of his illguided hostess, whose error was in not showing him to the sty and letting him look over the album. "lie was lost, Lucyl He was lost! He saved me, but he—was—lost!" /■nJ "He got his breakfast early and went up the shore with the boat to see if he could get some fish," said the mother. "He'll be back about noon and take the clean clothes to the mill." Lol the cloud's about to vanish From thedt.y. And a brazen wrong to crnmblo into clay. Lol the Right's about to conquer. Clear the wiyl With the Right shkll many more Enter, smiling, at lha door; With the giant Wj-oag shall fall Many others, great t.nd small. That for ages long h nve held as For their!prey. Men of thought and men of action. Clear thevrayl "It doesn't seem very good, that's a fact," admitted Mrs. McSwat after tasting it. "6IMME tub money!" he yelled WILDLY. The woman stared at him a moment blankly, then with a cry of desolation she hid her face upon the sick man's breast and wept. "They'll bavo to go back. That's aD there is about it." softly at his hair, but he lay still with his bleeding face turned back in the sunshine, a mute protest against the ever-cursing evils of the cup. The man looked down. An expression of shame and unworthincss passed across his face. When they were seated he ate but little, but drank great draughts of coffee. Very gently Eric lifted her up and led her away to the hut upon the cliff. The men slowly followed, bearing1 the man upon the litter, and laid him down in his humble home. In a little" time Carl camc in with the village doctor. The physician placed a flask of whisky to the exhausted man's lips, but when its fumes smote the patient's nostrils, such a look of terror, hatred and loathing camc into the sufferei*s face that the doctor fell back before it in wonder. SKKVANTS' MANNT.KS AKK I'RUL'UAll. able tint involuntary abstinence from food and I lii' sudden hospitality of his ill mi vised hosts, wrote what lio evidently deemed a scathing criticism of certain social aspects of American life, drew his pay for it and disappeared. Possibly I may lDe charged with speaking too directly on this subject, but it is only my own opinion. 1 do not hold the paper responsible, and if Mr. AId6 does not like it he may readily reach me by post. "I can't send them back, Billiger. 1 didn't take them on trial." "Then empty them is the alley." "I shall not do that either. They will cook all right." After a tune he moaned like one in a troubled sleep, and turned himself. The cooling- water touched his face and he awoke. Then it all came back to him—the struggle and the dreadful hour, and he got upon his feet and staggered up the bank. He looked up the shore to the town, and there his father was, a hatlcss sot, reeling from the grog-shopby the water side. The boy's bine eyes began to blaze; his very blood seemed to curdle with hatred and loathing. The man camc a Little way down the shore where some boats were rocking and tugging at the chains which held them. Evidently he purposed getting°into one of - them to sleep his drunkenness away. "You see, Lucy, when I dropped down out of Deep creek into the sea," he said, in answer to her inquiry, "I smelt a storm comin'. I wasn't very clear in the upper 6tory, I guess, but I thought I could make the bay afore it struck, an' I rowed tremendous. But the harricane came on like a race horse, an' with the first scoop it lifted me an' the boat clean outen the water. I hung in 'er, though a good many times I thought she was goin' upside down, but she kep' on 'er bottom some way an' run on in the darkness an' lightnin' like all possessed. I nabbed holt of the rudder an' kep' rightin' her when the lightnin' fell, which was about every second. The sea looked white like a kettle of water bilin' over, an' suddenly I sec a ship was about to run over me from behind. It was flyin' afore the wind like all creation and jist missed me. I heard thing* rippin' and breakin' on her an* shouts and scream in' as she passed; then somethin' come crashin' agin the boat and knocked me outen it The next second I see by the lightnin'that it was a big platform or stagin' of boards, an' I climbed up onto it. As soon as I got my breath I heard something cryin' by me and looked around, and lo and behold! this little thing was layin' there tied fast to the platform. I got her loose an' she cotched me round the neck and hilt mc fast, an' do you know, Lucy, in my scare an' confusion I thought it was Breeze? Wal," he continued, after a pause, "I hilt to her an' she hilt tome, an' I thought, my soul and body, we'd be throwed ofen the nitcliin'. rollin' r*ft, but it went straight for the head, and all of a suddent I looked up and snw the front of the cliff as white an* terrible in the lightnin' as the face of a corpse, and the next minute we struck with a crash, and me and the child was Bhot up one of the pillars, and I clinched holt of it and I got a footin' an' hung there till Paul come with the rope." ' 'Then keep them by themselves. I am going to the market myself, Mis. Mc- Swat, and I'll see if anybody pnts a lot of cork apples off on me, by jocks!" A few minntes later Mr. McSwat, with a basket on his arm, entered a grocer} store a few blocks away. His name was Hamilton Aide. He says we pronounce vase as we do gaze. This is not true. 1 have not pronounced it that way now for over a year. Mr. Aide is too severe on us. He saw our beautiful scenery whenever the railroads gave him passes, and he was entertained by those who had never seen that kind of fauna before, and he went home and tried to make a Rndyard Kipling of himself, thinking that he was a critic when it was really colic that ailed him. -Charles Mackay. gaa to wane, shadows rose out of the sea and huddled together here and there, the filmy runnCys of the night came over the ocean from the east, the westward moving darkness rolled slowly over him, and he was alone with the stars upon the wide, mysterious main. He says among other tilings that the 'love of privacy, so prominent a feature in the English character, is unknown here, the privilege of exclusion so rigidly enforced in the walls and fences of our gardens, the closed doors of our withdrawing rooms, on the first floor, is rarely enforced here." But it is going to be, Mr. AId6. We are going to be more particular in the future. We are getting acquainted with yonr methods, and we shall be more careful in tho years Tress Thou Ills Hand. If thou dost bid thy frieni farewell. But for one night though that farewell may be. Pros thou his hand in thine. How canst thou tell how far from thee Fata or caprice may lead his steps ere that tomorrow comes? Men have been known '-o lightly torn the cor- His voice failed, and they sat a long time weeping together in silence; and all that might ever have been said oi praise or blame, of sorrow and love, of regret and now resolve, was spoken in that sound of falling tears. "Take it away! Destroy it!" hoarsely cried Trave Armor. "Don't ye, for the love of Heaven, ever offer that to the like of me! Do ye expect to heal mc with poison? Oh, think what it has done to us!" and his rage fell into a broken-hearted moan. "Don't ask me to drink it," he said, "for I've been insane! I've tasted the second death! Don't ask me to go no further!" "Have you any good apples!" be inquired."We have, sir," promptly answered the-grocer. Cries of despair broke from his lips at last, a sickening faintness fell upon him, and his swollen hands dropped limp from the oars. Heaven was against him! He was a murderer! a murderer! alone with his heart upon tho taunting, spectral deep. The next day was a Sabbath and all was quiet in Redwood town. The saws rested from their snarling hum, the millmen, clad in fresh clothing, sat on tho doorsills of the cottages smoking their pipes and looking idly out at the blue fields of tho sea, or down among the fragrant stacks of lumber sat whittling and talking. Some, when the little cracked bell in tho steeple of the church upon the shady hillside called them, had gone with the children to hear what lovo could do in saving men—even the love of a wronged and crippled boy. Surely all their hearts were better for having heard from the minister's lips.the story of Paul Armor's victory, though they knew it well ner of a street. And days have grown tc months, and months to lagging years Ere they have looked in loving eyes again. Parting, at beet, is undo -laid With tears and pain. "What kind are they!" "Missouri redstreaks." "Where are they?" He did not like it because our ladies did not allow him to see them work. This was in deference to him, for no one ever saw him work. He saya he presumes that ladies here do secretly work, but he missed "the pleasant litter of employment.""In this barrel." "They look like the Ben Davis." "I bought them for Missouri redstreaks. They are all selected apples. There isn't a bad one in the lot." "I'd like to taste one." "We don't allow that. Apples are apples now. They're worth about five cents apiece." The boy watched him walk waveringly out upon the landing-plank to a large four-oared boat. The chain hung loosely over the stake at the end of the plank, and the man's foot caught under it, lifting it from the stake, and he fell forward into the boat, giving it a great lurch outward. The wind had been blowing steadily from the land all day, and long crested swells were running westward as far as the eye could reach. The man, from being stunned, pr in a stupor, did not rise, and the boat began drifting outward. The oars had been removed, and the boy turned about with a noise in his ears like gurgling water. The sun seemed to get dark to him; the greatest struggle of his life had come. to come. Therefore, lest sndden death should come be- Slowly, the night wore on, every moment a thorn pressed deep iuto his heart by remorse and fear. And what would the gray dawn bring? Would it bring his innocence back to him? or only the morning's flare upon the empty, beauteous waste? At last his head began to fall from side to side: at times he seemed pitching from the boat, anil ere long the stars looked down pityingly into his upturned face, as, asleep in the stern, with one swollen hand upon the helm and the other trailing over the side of Kind hands and sympathetic hearts brought food and words of comfort to the lonely place that night, and as the days went by the story of Paul Armor's heroism spread from mouth to mouth. His father would never drink again, they said; his thirst was dead; love had followed him, and in the face of blows and injury had brought him back and turned his feet toward tho peaceful kingdom of a virtuous life. If your nobility cannot play a fair ';ame of cards of an evening or over come the pernicious co-respondent complaint, what may we expect of one who is not noble at all, and who visits in our country only what is free, and who then imagines he is familiar with American society? tween. Or time or distance, clafip with pressure firm The hand of him who gcieth forth: Unseen. Fate goetb t^o —Coventry Patmore. If he will come among us again at some time in the future he will probably notice the pleasant litter of employment, and he will f urnish the most of it himself. Afterward a dejected Englishman may be seen going home with his pancreas in the inoruing paper "Been a deacon in one church for fifteen years!" echoed the passenger in the check suit. "That's a long time. I dare say yon have pasftod the contribution basket through the congregation a great many times?" rb« Deaeos Crushes * Time Honored Lie. 1 do not know Mr. Aide very well, but it has been my misfortune to cross his plague stricken trail , once or twice to gnaw at the closely cropped herbage among the hills where yet still lingered the echo of his bray. "That'll be fifty cents." "All right." The apples were put in a paper Back, deposited in the basket, paid for and Mr. McSwat went home. "Give me half a peck." Time passed. The saws in tho big mills kept up their mellow hum, the schooners sailed in and out the little port, and Trave Armor lay sick in tho hut upon the hill. Slowly his strength came back, but his heart was like lead when he thought of Paul, and the mother's feet dragged heavily as she went about her work. One day ho called tho to his bedside and said, very gently: "Lucy, ken ye hear it now? Mebby ye could bear it better if ye heard once how brave our poor boy went down." He did not like our theaters: especially those, 1 judge, who did not remember him at the door, and v:ho did not feel like giving him a box because he con- "Hundreds of times," replied the passenger in the black t.lpaca. "And I suppose—ha! ha!—you have found a great many—eh?—what's this?" The deacon, with im intensely weary look on his face, hsid drawn from bis pocket and was holding out for the inspection of the man in the check snit a time stained card on which was printed in large letters the following inscription: before. / ,~4\ Pi] Over on the head the day broke beautifully, yet with little cheer, for sorrow and heavy poverty were there. The children felt it, and the mother went sadly to and fro, longing for her lame, lost boy. Near noon she stood in the doorway looking out to sea. A big yacht, with all its white sails spread, blew into the little harbor, but she did not see it, for her eyes vere Xve*. She was thinking of that island, somewhere to the west of the blue horizon line, upon whoso cruel bar her boy went down. She thought of him as he used to lie upon her breast when a child, and again she seemed to see him, as she had so many times, coming up the path to the door where she stood, his straw hat in his hand, his light curls blown about his frank blue eyes. And yet when she turned from these fancies there was something sweet at the bottom of her heart. She could not tell whence it came. Was it because the sky was so beautiful with its flocks of 6nowy clouds, the sea so blue, the air so crystal clear, the sunshine so pretty on th« tree-tops? She saw, too, that the children seemed happier than for many days, and when she went into the sick man's room he met her with a smile. Judging by the sentiment expressed by the low, coarse innkeejiers along the chicken feather trimmed orbit through which ha passed, it will be money in his pocket if he will not come that way any more If he should, there are intimations that a good recipe far removing egg stains from wearing apparel will be a great convenience to him on hisD [/laiicr ride home. In the privacy of his own home Mr. McSwat proceeded shortly afterward to open the sack of apples. "Don't get them mixed, Lobelia," he said magisterially. "These are Missouri redstreaks. He started to get the boat at the head and save the man; then he stood still with his. fists clenched, and watched the boat comc down tho bay. No one seemed to notice it, and outward it drifted, homo on the long, rolling swells. It passed by the boy, and he wavered and strained in tho conflicting currents of feeling that beset him. Should he save him? He saved him but yestermom! Lo, his reward! But was not he who might save a life and would not, almost as guilty as he who took one? Something like this passed through his mind, but he could not reason; his thoughts seemed scattered and confused by his anger. "I can't see any difference, Billiger. They both look like Ben Davis apples." ■'That's all yon know abont apples," he retorted. "Cast your eye on this one. Ever see a nicer specimen?" He took a bite of it, threw the apple nnder the table and tried another. : HXYER FOUND IS BOX ! Z A BUTTON : ~ +' or any soirr on kind : in Mi' life. Mr. AId6, whose signature shows that he neglected to put up his fly screens jntil too late in the season, says that .uanners among "servants of both sexes are peculiar, as indeed they are in all the lower orders (if one may be allowed such an expression about Americans)." The mother sat down and hid her face against tho pillow by his head, and he went sorrowfully on: —Chicago Tribune. 1 "If these are Missouri redstreaks." he said, as the second one followed the first and struck the floor somewhat harder, "I don't want any more of them." Lively Times. "1 guess I abused him afore it happened. It all seems like an awful dream now, but I guess I tuck the money from him ye earned awashin', an' struck him, too; but I was crazy, Lucy! The drink did it! Then I don't remember any more, only that I left him lyin' white Judging from Mr. Aide's familiarity with American society, the article he has written should have been entitled. "Some Aspects of Life Among American Servants." Then this gentle criticism of mine would have been unnecessary and unwritten. "Billiger," announced Mrs. McSwat, who had been making some investigations on her own account, "there isn't a particle of difference between these and the apples I got this morning. Were you careful to ask the grocer whether they were Ben" A heavy silence fell between them. He longed to speak of the boy's bravery, but in the face of his own shameful life, the words stuck in his throat. Presently he arose. ®E SANK DOWN ILL WITH AGONY ANT The boat drifted through the mouth of the bay; there the unbroken wind quickened the swells, and it passed into the open deep. Thousands of miles of water spread away before it, and without food or oars the unconscious father went outward into the glimmering waste. EXHAUSTION* the boat, he went plunging onward into mystery and gloom. "You think you're smart, don't you?" "You don't let any grocer work off a lot of cork apples on you, by jocks?" "I guess, I'll go up to the wharf and see Eric Iverson," he said. "Mebby I ken get him to come around this way to-night and talk with the little thing. I'm thinkin' she's Norwegian, an' mebbe he can find out where she's from." "Dinners," lie says, "as a rule, in private houses, are less Rood and less well served than I expected to find them." You will notice a great falling off even from this, Hamilton, if yon will come back here next season. There will be a very noticeable flavor of pounded glass in your pie, and every bed quilt in our broad and beautiful land will contain a little checkered sample of your loud and vociferous panties pried from the unwilling jaws of the household dog. WITH A LKTTKK OF INTRODUCTION. templated roasting the republic in a future piece. He says that our comedies and comic operas are bad and our taste vitiated. "Vigorous horseplay, comic songs, breakdowns and a 'funny man' satisfy the American." he says, and if the lonesome managers of the dives who gave the bright young snoozer passes do not feel pleased with the above notice they must be more careful in future regarding whom they admit Brave Eric Iverson and a comrade had been absent six days upon the sea, searching for the lost man and his son, and the people of Redwood town began to wondcf if they, too, had not gone down to rise no more. But the two men had taken water and provisions with them, and many who knew of Eric's tender heart said it would be long ere they returned could he bring no tidings to the sorrowing woman and her children up there on the frowning head. No storm had come; only a soft and steady wind rolling the shining swells forever outward. Day and night it blew, and incoming schooners had to make long tacks to right and left that they might enter the little harbor. CHAPTER IV. "I reckon they'll cook, won't they?" he retorted, "same as the others?" At last the boat dwindled to a speck and died in the blue gulf, and a great White cloud shut down uoon it. like the marble covering to a graven At that a poignant sense of separation fell upon the boy, the first sharp throe of anguish, as the bond that nature had placed between them parted. lie stood appalled at the deed he had done. A vision of the man starving, raving, drowning, rose before him, and, with a cry of terror, he broke through the hate and rage that bound him, and ran towards the head. "Yes, but they'll haves to be kept separate, you know," rejoined Mrs. Mc- Swatt sweetly. "I don't think they are quite as good as" "Yes, Trave," said the woman. Presently footsteps came to the door, and Eric and his comrade, with their sweethearts, entered. Behind them were others bearing bags and baskets, and the children leaped with joy. Armor arose and came out. His step was slow but steady and his face was clear. The children, with Gale among them,-shouted and danced with glee to see him grown so strong, and the big man's eyes were filled with blessed tears as he looked around upon the faces of his friends. Then he stooped down and said: "Good-by, little canary; I'm goin* to fetch some one that cun understand y'r pipin'.'' The child looked at him wonderingly a moment, then put her arms about his neck and kissed him. "Arrah, but it's loine toimes they're a-havin' down there at the openin' of the new hotel. There goes the fourth man they've chucked oat o' that same window inside an hour."—Life. Mr. McSwat arose in his wrath. He emptied those two sacks of apples into the basket, carried the gorgeous fruit out to the alley, poured it into the slop barrel, and made his way by a devious route to a grocery store on another block. "Some of the dishes are excellent, but," he adds, as he dips his trenchant pen in the bluing bottle at his cozy little hall bedroom in Wliitechapel street, "the prevalent taste for uwcookinga canvasback duck generally renders that admirable bird a forbidden fruit to me." But that is not what renders it "a forbidden fruit" to him at home. He then turns his little dyeing and repairing works on the j/ress. "As a rule the press," he says, "is utterly indifferent to the truth or falsehood of a statement," and so on. small town has its paper (price 2id.), and there are many who read uothing but that paper every day Habituating the mind thus to its morning mess of nastiness is a great national misfortune." That Is true, Hamilton, but it is not so bad as to live in a town where the nobility do things so nasty that even the London press dare not print them "Oh, Trave," said the wife, "you won't drink any more, will you? See, it's like as if Breeze had cdme back from Heaven and was beggin* you with kisses not to be bad any more," and she was crying on his breast The Johnnie Cliaflle Letters. Mister Editor]-Wen u go about in Noo York u see so tnenny funny things and peeple, mostly wimmen. Sum wimmen walks erroitud with doods, with glass ize, others ha- little puppies led by a string, and sum ilia* grate big dogs biggem a kaf, with a mouth that is bigger than a travellin vailise when it smiles tiie drab pug dog; is the ngliest, but the wa they lnv him is a sin, his tale knrls up behind. "Yes." "Got any apples?" "What kind?" "Missouri" The boat was lying there with prow upon the yellow sand. lie pushed it out and leaped in and spread out the oars, those trusty water-wings that were to move him upon the wildest, strangest journey of his life. lie swept her out upon the swells. Thank fortune, his arms and chest were well-nigh as thickly muscled as a man's! His poor, halting legs would not be needed in this bitter race! He thought of his mother and looked up at Beaver head. Carl was standing upon its verge. The sha*low seemed lifted; even the mother smiled; something strange and sweet was in the air. The man gave a groan of wild contrition and helplessness. . . "Missouri be hanged!" bawled Mr. Mc- Swat, with blood in his eyo. "No, Lucy, I won't ever tetch ft again," he said. "Ill strive agin it, an' won't ever tetch it no more!" And he went away with clinched fists, swearing in his soul that liquor should never pass his lips again. But alas, for the man who once sets himself on fire with this inhuman thirst. His will is turned to ashes in the flames. Paul came home at noon with a shining string of fish, but the father did not come. When dinner was over the boy shouldered his big bag of clothes and started for the mills. Over the hut upon the cliff the hours of dread and r.harp expectancy had passed, and now the gloom that, comes of settled, certain death seemed creeping on. The mother, torn with grief and apprehension through the first days,, could do nothing. She seemed to live day and night there at tho edge of the precipice, with her hungry eyes searching the wide, mocking rcachcs of the sea. Suddenly there rose the noise of many voices near the hut, cheering and singing in the sunshine. Eric sprang up, and all stood still and barkened. The singing and the voices came nearer. A great light came into the mother's eves. She held her hand hard aoninst her leaping heart and listened. Suddenly Eric leaped out the door with an answering shout They all followed him, and along the top of the green bluff a crowd poured into view, and there, borne upon the shoulders of the cheering men, sat Paul Armorl The reason he does not keep his flabby being continually upholstered with cauvasback duck at home is probably the same one that prompted him to have his wine and the bliicking of his boots charged to Mrs. Stanley at San Jose, Cal., in the spring of the present year of our Lord and of the freedom of the United States from the rule of Great Britain the one hundred and fifteenth. clerk, "Yes, sir," answered the frightened "Look here, young man!" demanded Mr. McSwat. "Have you got any genuine Missouri apples?" "Y-yes, sir." "What do you call them?" "Some of 'em's pippins and some of 'em's redstreaks and some hain't got any name. They're just apples, you know." "TAKE IT AW AT, DESTROY IT!" ITOARSELT CRIED TRAVE ARMOR. As Americana, Mr. Aide, we have our faults. We know it and we are trying to do better. When the people of your country were of our age they had not yet begun to walk on their hind legs steadily at nil, and most of your titled people were squealing in the branches of tho umbrageous forest. The ritch wimmen that ride in karridges have a footman on the box hoo wears a kote with brass buttuns, und who looks as if he was ded so dignifide is he—his pants are jo tite he kant wink his ize, and how he gets them off i dont no he sleeps in them I reckon. His pale kam legs look as if i;hey was immovable and karved outer on a peece of wood they are jointless. Mebby them legs are made of celluloyd i dont no. Wen the riteti young ladies go to church they is followed by another footman who has ati imported acksent, and was (altered at th# Icustoin hows as a work of art he has mutton chop wiskers, *nd karries the laciie's preyer book he *lso has a kokade on his hat wich looks redicklis. and dead down there where we met, till I came to myself that night away out to sea. For awhile, Lucy, I thought I had died, and was in that wild, awful after-life which was only fit for the like of me. "Tell mother that father has drifted out to sea, an' that I'm goin' after him!" shouted Paul. "Oh, Carl, tell her I'll bring him back to her if I live—if I— live!" and he laid the boat about on the water, and sent her out with all his strength. But now she began to work and wash again, moving about much like one in a saddening1 dream. Little Oale, though her eyes would sometimes fill with tears, played with Lannie and Gabe under the trees, happily forgetful of the dark shadow of sorrow that lay upon the place. But Carl and Jimmy felt the cloud of sadness about them, .and much of the time were silent. The elder boy began helping his mother as Paul had done, and Jimmy kept the children from the precipice and watched tho azure circle of the horizon for Eric's sail. It seemed to the poor mother that tho rescuers would never return, and the blighted look grew in her face, and her eyes looked sunken and anxious as she lifted them hour by hour to the wide world of water. Mr. Aid6 accompanied Mrs. Stanley, Mrs. Tennant and Captain Jephson to San Jose, where he registered as "Mrs. Stanley and party." They stopped at the Vendoine, a first class, tip top hotel, which Jiad preserved blameless reputation up to that time. Mr. Aide, the new Rudyard Kipling, who will doubtless lecture here by and by, was asked to register for the party, which he would have done if he had ever traveled before. He flew into a beastly passion and refused to register or give names of any of the party, insisting that it was a piece of American impertinence on the part of the hotel that he never saw equaled. He finally told how many rooms they wanted, to which he added a private dining room. "What do you call your beat Missouri apples? Your very best, recollect." "I kea't tell ye, Lucy, what I suffered after that; I ain't got no words to make ye sec it with, an' it would only hurt ye to hear it, but I know that morning come at last after that awfid night, an' I was all afire, an' fearful sights and shapes was all about me, an' I don't know why I didn't distroy myself to end my misery. Then that day went by, an' it was like years an' years of torture, an' the night come again, an' I think another day, an' then it seemed like my reason comc back. But the boat had no oars, an' I was so weak from havin' no food an' from strugglin' an' figlitin' with the fearful things that seemed pursuin' me, I jest laid like a dead man in the bottom of the boat as it went plungin' I don't know where. "Our best Missouri apples, sir, are called the Ben Da" "Keep 'em!" roared Mr. McSwat. "Yes, 6ir!" promptly acquiesced the boy, with his hair on end. We know that we are still crude. One of our greatest weaknesses consists in being picked up and "done up" by every imitation man who gets a letter of introduction from an English barber and comes here with an appetite and a hat box to frighten tho food supply, founder himself, write a piece and go home. We have done that a good deal, and we ought to know better;' but we do not. We go right on doing it, because we desire to encourage foreign emigration. But it is being overdone. We need a change. "I'll bring hbn home, mother, if I ken," he said. "Don't worry," and he "Went limping on. lie was pale and weak, and his poor hands, swathed in white bandages, hung down over the men's shoulders, but hia face was almost like a star. Ah, there was his old mother with her face wreathed in light and tearful smiles, and his father, looking as if Heaven had opened, lu a moment they had come together, and there was kissing and When he had delivered the clothes, he turned off into the town. There all the streets ran shambling down and converged upon the wharves, and he went op one and down another looking vainly for his father. Presently, with a thrill of horror, he saw tho man come reeling from a little grog shop down by the water side. An aching heaviness spread through all his being as he stood dumbly watehing him. What had it all come to, his saving this man and bringing him back into the world? With a bitter throb he started toward him. The man saw 1'im coming, ae he stood leering about, started down the shore toward home. The boy followed, hoping in some way to turn him aside that his mother might be spared this torturing sight. Suddenly, as the father zig-zagged forward, he turned and confronted the boy. "Tell mother I let him go! Tell her I couldn't wait to see her! O Carl, bo good to her if me and father never come back—no—more!" Then the voice failed; the boy upon the cliff could hear it no longer, and turned and ran toward the house, and Paul went outward on the swells. "Lobelia," said Mr. McSwat meekly, about ten minutes later, as he edged into the kitchen, "dan't say anything about these—these apples. At this time of year, Lobelia, apples ain't worth shucks, anyhow. Here's ten dollars for pins and ribbons."—Chicago Tribune. A fifth avenoo telle going 3 church on last sanday had more flours on hei bozom than wtid have tilled the inside of a texia kow the had 2 karry so menny flours praptt thats the reeson she Is tired and the inglish servant bad 2 tote here preyir book 8he shood nave made hiiu tote the flours as he was the itrongest and slieD the book, but that wood not have bin in good form. irying and handshaking and happy, laughter, Then noticcd that little Sale was crying for happiness in the inns of a lady he had not seen before, rod as soon as Paul could get his breath ho cried: IIo sat lacing the g.'eat furrowed front of the head as he pulled. Would ho ever see it again? All that ho loved was up there, save the poor father tossing toward the sunset. He saw figures running to and fro upon the height; his mother was among them! A choking lump rose into his throat, but he never once slackened his desperate stroke. Outward he went, outward, outward, as if life and hope lay only in the dangerous central sea. The head began to sink; slowly it went down, but his eyes never left it for a moment. Soon its top alone was visible, a bluish spot with moving specks upon it. Then slowly that, too, went down, and reappeared, and sank again, and he wai alone upon the wide, mysterious sea. Accommodating. A sign on a railroad restaurant not • hundred miles from Detroit reads: Therefore do not come again, Mr. Aide, for quite awhile. Stay at home and prepare your affairs so that you may be ready whenever the tardy and overworked fool killer of Great Britain gets around your way. DINNER ready! You don't have to waitl We Uavc men hired to do thatl "Mother! Father! thia is the little thing's mammy! She was on the, steamer that took mo off the island where I was washed ashore after the' Everything was ordered sent to the dining rooms—wines, canvas back duck, etc. In the morning the two gentlemen left early. They paid their own bills. The clerk took their word for what was theirs and what was not. Other mothers, touched by pity, came to help the drunkard's broken family, bringing food and clothing, and as the time passed the village babbled with dark prophecies of shipwreck for Eric, and conjecture as to the fatal phases of this strange race for life upon the sea. The men at Eric's wharf where he had been foreman of the lumber loaders so long looked many times each day towards the west, thinking of their absent leader, and wives and mothers standing at the gates or in the doorways of the cottages upon the heights about the bay thought often of the lonely family over on the head, and turned their eyes earnestly towards the far horizon line. "But the thirst was killed in me, Lucy; it was burned outl The sufferin' I'd gone through had set me freel But when night come again I seemed a-freezin' an' then a miserable sickness set in, an' my head seemed gOin' round an' round, an' everything I ever seen or done in the world kep' comin' an' goin' afore me, seeming big an' clear, but kind of strange :\s if it was a dream. Then 1 knowed the daylight come again, but I couldn't get up, an' the sights kep' comin' an' goin', an' sometimes I seemed a drownin', when all of a suddent I see our poor boy's face over —Detroit Free Press. Revisiting the Battlefield. boat sunk! She took care of me till we reached San Francisco, an' I brought her here! She had my knees fixed in the city an', oh, mother! I an't lame anv more!" Says mar 2 par wy do they maik snch fools of themseivep bekos they aip they inglish says pat. .C1 I told u be4 in Rome When Mrs. Stanley came to leave she fonnd of course wine she did not order, and had to pay for blacking the boots of this keen critic of American manners and cookery, this able savant of British cold victuals, this bright young hybrid whose surprised and delighted third stomach was tossed across the troubled deep within the year now only half gone by. you doo as the roi York you doo its tj time.—Johnnie Ch xanists do and in Noo le inglish do more next affie in Texas Siftings. "Son, you're a trump, and I want the money ye got for the washin'," he said, thickly. Then the handshaking and cries of surprise and gladness were renewed, ani3 the millmen and wharfmcn 6wung their hats again and gave threo mighty cheers for "The Hero of Beaver Head," and went back to the town. bate Mame. Wool—Why do they call these cigars Henry Clay, 1 wonder? "Sommer." This ia the season of the year When school lets out and small boys swarm; The undue iDeach will soon bo here. Ami colic in ills swellest form. Paul gave a cry of horror and sprang back, but in his lameness he stumbled and fell, and the father jumped heavily upon him. Van Pelt—Couldn't say, unless it is because Henry Clay is dead.—Lake Shore News. "Gimme the money I" he yelled wildly, as they struggled; but the boy only gave a pitiful cry, and got up with him. Then they began to struggle as they stood, writhing, reeding, striking, and suddenly they plunged headlong down towards the water. .There a cup-like dent in the bank caught and held them, but the boy fell beneath and was partly stunned, and the man got upon him with his knees and held him while he tore the money from his pocket As he got up, the boy, like one in a terrible dream, clutched him desperately about the knees, but the rum-crazed father struck htm a cruel blow in the face and h® fell back senseless at the water's edge. He closed his eyes, his breath coming hard with the struggle, and a great wretchedness fell upon him as the land, with all it held, was parted utterly from him. But he did not pause; outward, outward he went, crying in his heart to God for time, for daylight, in which to save the one he had lost. Trave Armor is an old man now, but since that day he has never tasted rum. Paul is a merchant in San Francisco. Sitting ono day upon his porcu and looking out upon the sunlit bay, ho told mo in part what I have told you here. Two pretty children were playing down below us in the grass, and a happy faco was bending over a cradle just inside tlio door. lie Vai and He IVain't. When Jonah created that stir on the ship. And his comrades concluded they'd finish the trip The festive cracker soon will pop. The empty pisjtol will explode. The druggist got his annual crop. The doctor reap where ho has sewod, That Is the reason why Mrs. Tennant afterward spoke so bitterly of her bill at the Vendome. Her guest had "done her up," as we say here in America, especially among the lower classes, if one may speak in that way here, and 1 think one may if one pays one's bills. "I hardly knowed it, Lucy, it was so changed. It loolicd almost like little Breeze's face when she laid in her coffin, an' I thought it was part of my dreams. Then it said: 'Father, I've come! I've come to save yc! Don't ye know me?' an' I roused myself an' see it was him. Then he tried to get into the boat with me. but lie was so weak H seemed like he couldn't stand, and the boats plunged as if they would swamp, but he held 'em together, an' when they lunged forred he fell into the boat with me. In a minute he got onto his knees an' cried out wild like: 'Ohl father, I can't save yel I can't save ye! the oars are iu the other boat!' an' On the seventh day the wind shifted and lulled, and just before sunset the mother-came wearily down the path and stood looking out upon the shining flood. Her heart seemed numb with longing. When would she wake from this dreadful dream? Without him, and gave him, as 'twere.astraight tip. Which they did in a very brief minute. And down in tie paunch of the whale he waa dropped This is the time when icemen blow, And hold their noses high in air; No longer they the plumbers know, But hobnob with the millionaire. ounC any "Yes; and I waa thinking how you must have expanded since the war. Here's the tree you stood behind daring the whole battle, and it covered you well then."—Life. Suddenly he leaped up and looked narrowly across the vast expanse nothing was there save the ever-changing belts of light and shade as the fleecy clouds blew over, and with a piteous cry he sprang to the oars and drove the heavy boat onward. Oh, if he could but reach his father ere the sun ceased to brighten distant objects on the water! So sudden he cracked all the ribs when he stopped. The bee now flits from flower to flower. With Incidental trips elsewhere; And when he demenstrates his power Profanity perirades the air. Hamilton suffered most severely in the west. He found no congenial society there, all the Englishmen of his stripe having been hanged on their arrival, or on most anything else in fact that came handy in a prairie country where timber is rare and hard to get hold of. "And what became of the bit, of a Norwegian girl?" I asked. This speech from his labial portals outcropped. "I'm in it! Exceedingly in it!" The children were playing down on the sand below, and suddenly Carl gave a shout of joy; the mother looked up, and there, seoming not three miles away, was Eric's boat! She gazed, trembling from head to foot. Yes, it was surely Eric's boat, battered and with the sails patched and torn. "Oh, I forgot," he answered with a smile, "she who once was little Oalo is Mrrc. Paul Armor now!" Out when, with his tenement sorely displeased. He tore and he whooped and ho yawped and he sneezed. Till he made tho cetacean feel bo diseased He could no longer bear it and grin It. The fish made a spurt for the shore thereabout. And he served on his tenant a writ of get out. And landing him there did triumphantly shout, "Eh, Jonahl old boy! you're not In Itl" —Boston Courier. Now on the fat men's polished domes The flies their annual May fest hold; Sweet graduate:) now write their "pomes" About the NeVrness of the Old. Suitable. She—I want to get a real nice comedy suitable for an amateur theatrical company.[the end.] He bears down especially hard on Colorado Springs and Denver, two of the most delightful cities in the world, for 1 know, having visited Paris, London and For Rheumatism, Lumbago, Neuralgia, Grvnp 8nd Collie there is no remedy superior the genuine Dr. Thomas' Klcctric 0.1. Oh, summer has Its rare delights (Although mosquitoes are in bloom), Cor girls with ice cream appetites. Beneath whose belts there's "lota of room.' —tit Louis Republic. Clerk—Yes, ma'am. How would yon like to look over some of Shakespeare's tragedies—Brooklyn Life. He pulled with every muscle strained well-nigh to breaking. At last he felt