I’ve seen the world’s most boring violent movie. You ask "how is that possible, Jane?"

Yes, its true. “300” is incredibly boring. I thought it was going to be a great battle epic with amazing effects and bowl-me-over sounds and music. I was hoping for it to be as great as the first time I saw The Matrix.

The movie is about a battle between Sparta and Xerxes’ enormous army. 300 Spartans versus thousands and thousands of other fighters. Battle to the death for glory, honor, virtue, principle and country. Sounds like a pretty exiting setup, right?

Nope

Mr. Plain says that I didn’t like it because it is a guy-movie, but how is that possible? If that was the case, wouldn’t I be saying “Ooohh, it was so gross! And so scary! And no one talked about their feelings!”

These fucking warriors talked ALL THE TIME! And I kid you not, I laughed out loud when one guy cried and said that the only regret he had in his life was that he had never told his (now beheaded) son that he loved him!

That is a very nice sentiment, but completely out of place in this movie. I found myself wanting to yell “Less chit-chat, more killing!” through most of it, and I’m not a particularly violent person.

I’m a doctor, Jim!

Did you know? Apparently ancient Sparta looks EXACTLY like every city ever visited on Star Trek. I kept expecting Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock to show up. Or at least some red shirts.

I was also disappointed by the effects in the movie. They’re decent, but all the best ones are in the trailer — watch that instead. The look of the film reminded me of watching old Sinbad movies as a kid. They were always crappy copies shown on a UHF station that didn’t come in very clearly on our old TV.

I was expecting to see a glorious-looking movie, but instead I got to see the work of filmmakers who were really, really in love with this “look” they had created. So they just kept doing the same effects over and over again.

Kind of like when I was in art school and watched my friends first 8mm movies. Yeah, it is cool to shoot shadows cast by the tree outside your window, but for the love of God I don’t want to watch 20 minutes of it!

got here googlin’ “300 is horrible” . . . because it sure was and I have been shocked by its popular praise (and disheartened by the birth of a new popular “genre”)

This was the worst movie I’ve seen in 20 years. I am a single Dad who only occassionaly takes in a non-kid movie, and this was a WASTED 5 hours–or so it seems when you’re checking your watch every 10 minutes while laughing but to cry at such a ridiculous REPETATIVE inane spectacle. BORED TO TEARS.