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I don't see, where this is related to c#, java and php! Beside that it belongs to ServerFault.com IMHO
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user24013Jul 8 '10 at 9:04

The answers to the second part of q2 and q3 of are easy enough: upgrade your connections. I also wonder if the answer to q1 is caused by db overload or the webserver itself is groaning?
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spenderJul 8 '10 at 9:07

These are 3 different problems it seems. Adding servers can be a solution for 1 and 2 but if the problem comes from the application architecture then you are just relaying the issue to the future. For 3 buy more bandwith and/or reduce the number of requests needed per user.
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RedlabJul 8 '10 at 9:07

if i can easy add a server ,then it's not a problem ...
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HooliganJul 8 '10 at 9:08

Do you have a url I could analyse the performance and bandwidth requirments of?
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DuncanJul 8 '10 at 9:08

There are several websites that outline Steve's performance guidelines that you can easily find through a Google search. Most of them will help reduce the number of requests and speed up the remaining ones. Theo's book, however, is invaluable in regards to building out scalable systems and I highly recommend giving it a read. John's book is a quick read but will give you insight into how to plan for future expansion.

Yeah, all of those cost money. But probably less money that going through all your code to optimize it, unless you have a some massive inefficiencies that are easy to pinpoint. But if everything (web server, DB and network) is overloaded, it doesn't sound like it.

It may be possible to reduce your bandwidth requirements and reduce your server load by reducing HTTP Requests by a number of simple performance tweaks. Setting far-future expiration dates on static content, combining files like css sprites, combining javascript and css. You could also do with outsourcing jQuery and other Javascript libraries to Google using their free Google AJAX Libraries API.