Pregnant woman to 3-year-old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That’s right. You threw up.
–4 train
Overheard by: Leora
Parent: My son is only two years old, sittin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my brother taught him that.
–Merrill Lynch lobby, Broadway & Park Row
Mom to 4-year-old: Stop crying and take a moment and think about how you feel.
–Broadway & 104th

Young woman #1: We are getting to the age where we are gonna start to need us some Botox.Young woman #2: I ain’t puttin’ no cow urine in my face!Young woman #1: Ummm, it is not cow urine.Young woman #2: Oh, yeah, I mean horse.

50-something yuppie guy to another: My wife just doesn't understand that men go through menopause too. It's not just a woman's problem. These past few months I can tell that I've begun my menopause.Teenage girl sitting across from two yuppies: I'm pretty sure they call what you're going through “erectile dysfunction.”