Imagine being at your best mates house, in the middle of practicing wedding hair styles, to then receiving a text from your husband saying there is a possibility we might be moving country, to then realise a week later it’s a definite and 2 months after that you would be arriving at your new destination, in the same year you had your first baby...

Hello and welcome to my life!

One year, two countries, a baby turned toddler, a career put on the back burner, new surroundings, two different languages; neither of which I could string a sentence together with, plus driving on the opposite side of the road... Oh, and of course trying to keep some ‘normality’ to everyday life in the midst of all of this.

Yes, this is me, Jazmin, my life, my family and our current year having moved abroad for a new life, living out our dreams and doing so before our little boy grows to old to do so, allowing us time to adjust and hoping enough time to get settled.

I love that word, ’settled’ I mean, are we ever?

When I first arrived in Switzerland (our first location) I knew this was it and I had to make it work. Otis was 8 months old and from the day he was born, even before that when he was growing in my tummy, I was determined to be that ‘mum’ who loved to socialise and took her kid along everywhere she went. I was determined not to ‘hold back’ on doing things, seeing people, going places just because I now had a mini human to look after, so I kept this thought through the whole experience.

I suddenly had...No comfort zonesNo friendsNo familyNo history with the place I was living A different language to learn, pick up on and understand New surroundings And even a new kind of supermarket that felt alien!

So I took to social media and used it like a new dating app for ‘mamas who wanna be mates with me’ and started scrolling through and finding groups! Groups within groups, pages of group activities, language groups based around mums having kids, groups who went to soft play, groups who met in the parks, you name it, I found it.

I introduced myself every where I became a ‘member’ of online. I became a name that would pop up, be commenting on posts I found interesting, to a point I had a few girls say ‘hey’ on a long lake walk I used to do (again to try hang at cool places and find friends; oh, that so makes me sound weird! Honestly I’m not! Ha!) until one day I had a message from another girl hoping to find a new friend too.

We hit it off, our kids hit it off and jackpot, I had a friend. The summer became one to remember, our kids grew together, we explored more groups, made our own groups and tried new cool ways to bring mamas together across Switzerland.

From here I created More Than Just Mothers - Inspired from MM of course! Sonny my husband, being a kick-ass graphic designer created me a look, image that attracted a vibe I was after. This then attracted a new bar with the what I can only describe as the best go-to parent and kids bar everrrr, who wanted us to hold our weekly meet ups there. Wow, they had started to ask me?!?

From here, Fridays were ours!

A morning, day, we all came together, kids played and mums chatted away over coffee, the best homemade chocolate chip cookies and on many occasions prosecco and wine! In and dated with new mums wanting to connect, More Than Just Mothers became a hit not just for expats, but local swiss mums also! Suddenly I found a new life in a town I classed as ‘boring’, yet it was me that just hadn’t met the right ‘group’ yet! ​

My name is Maria Evans and I coach and mentor teenagers. My Instagram account is @theteencoach.

Is there anyone talking about teenagers on the ‘gram? Just shout if you need anything else! There is no doubt that Instagram is a life-line for parents of young children, There is so much support for the challenges that parenting little ones throws at us. Whether you are looking for tips on breastfeeding or how to wean a dairy-intolerant infant, you only need to search the right hashtags and there will be a whole hosts of accounts waiting to support you through the next step on your parenting journey.This is not always the experience for parents of teenagers. It can be difficult to find people talking about the challenges of parenting teens on these squares. There are many reasons for this; teenagers aren’t always that ‘instagrammable’, teenagers are also online themselves, and would quite rightly object to you broadcasting your parenting woes to the rest of the world.My account @theteencoach is all about parenting the teen years. When asked about the one thing we can do to make this stage in parenting manageable and even joyful, I always reinforce the importance of finding their spark.Find their spark – what does that mean?Your teen’s ‘spark’ is the one thing they have that they care deeply about, that fires them up. If teens have ‘it’ then everything else falls into place. They have a reason to be motivated, they find a sense of purpose and belonging, they care deeply about something, they show up and are committed. Having a spark can also provide opportunities for kids. Recently ran a workshop on healthy relationships with social media to a group of teenage girls from various local dance schools. It didn’t take them long to figure out what their spark was-they had been dancing since they were little. When I asked them what this provides for them that social media could not I was inundated with answers; working with young children, starring in productions, traveling the country, keeping their body and minds healthy. These girls have had a wealth of opportunities because of the joy they have found in dancing. When I worked in secondary schools I would often come across kids who did not have any hobbies, interests or strong beliefs about anything. These were the kids who watched too much TV and spent hours on games consoles. Now don’t get me wrong, I believe kids should be allowed to watch TV and spend time gaming, it’s important for kids to keep up with their peers and have cultural capital. Most young people want to fit in as it makes them feel safe in this often vulnerable stage of life. But when too much time is spent on screens there is little time for anything else. What’s more, there is little desire to DO anything else.How has my experience with teens impacted myself as a parent? I am on a mission to give as many opportunities to my kids to enable them to find their spark. It’s difficult (but not impossible) for teenagers to take up a new hobby. They often start to feel shy and self-conscious when starting something new. However, if you catch them when they are younger they are often bolder and don’t really consider being the new kid as a problem. So yes, I am a chauffeur for my kids. I take them to various clubs and activities after school most days. We subscribe to First News, a weekly newspaper aimed at young people, to help our eldest get used to reading and learning about current affairs (a year’s subscription was a birthday present from his grandparents). He doesn’t always read it willingly, and would be happy to skip to the puzzles at the end, but we have it built into our routine now that when we are waiting for his brother and sister at their ballet class we read through the articles together. I do strongly believe that kids just want our time and there are so many ways we can give it to them. I have 3 children so it does require a lot of ferrying about, and it is expensive. I am very aware that we are in a privileged position to be able to do this; I work from home and we have the resources to be able to make this part of our rhythm. But there are loads of things parents can do that don’t cost anything. Cost effective ways to find their sparkHelping your kids find their spark does not have to be expensive. It could be that a strong belief about something is the thing that fires your child up. It could be that they really love animals and care deeply about animal welfare. How can you keep that spark alive? Talk to them about it, help them do some research. Perhaps they could get involved in an organisation that campaigns for animal rights.Other things we do include taking them places at the weekend and we always try to keep costs low. We go to our local beach to play football, swim if it’s warm, and we always try and encourage them to do a five-minute beach clean and talk about why that is important. They love doing various arts and crafts projects. They love helping me and my husband cook. I struggle to keep my cool with these sorts of activities because of the mess that it inevitably involves, but I try my best to keep calm (this doesn’t always happen) and let them carry on as it is all part of the bigger picture- finding their spark. This may sound like we are the perfect parents. We are not!I am aware that this post may sound like I am a super parent. I assure you I am not. It has taken us a long time to get to where we are with this, and it hasn’t been an easy journey. There are many days in school holidays for example when I know my kids have had too much screen time because I have needed that break to just get through the day. My kids watch TV and play on the iPad every day when I am cooking dinner. They often have TV in the mornings when my husband and I are getting everything ready for the day ahead. Our culture likes to make us feel guilty about all the things we are doing and not doing as parents. When something goes wrong with a young adult, the parents are often the ones we blame. The guilt we feel about getting it right can be overwhelming; we can all be super hard on ourselves. All we can do is what is right for us and our families. Time away from screens and being shown other ways to pass our time is always a good idea. Life is always better offlineProviding opportunities for our kids to see that life does exist outside of social media and screen time will show then that actually life is better offline. So if you have younger children then think about how you can lay those foundations in the early years in a way that fits best for your family. And if you have teenagers and you are still unsure of whether they have a spark then don’t lose heart. Keep insisting on that family time and talk to them about the things that matter to them. The spark is there, it just might need a little oxygen and fuel from you to get it burning brightly.

]]>Mon, 11 Mar 2019 16:34:07 GMThttp://www.mothersmeetings.com/blog/international-womens-daySuperdrug X MM (In partnership with Modern Muse (a charity set up to inspire and motivate young girls)

Hosted by TV presenter AJ Odudu, and joined by an absolute powerhouse of BOSS women panelist’s, including our very own Jenny Scott, was Clemmie Telford, Dr Pixie McKenna,and Superdrug’s Head of people, Amy Davis.

We drank fresh juice, feasted on a buffet that dreams are made of (everything from mini cheesecakes to fruit salads and pastries galore) and we listened to the panel discuss

‘What are the issues facing women today?’Is technology helping or hindering ?’And is ‘Having it all what modern women want ?’

Some hard facts were brought up by Clemmie .....One in 7 girls in developing countries are married before the age of 15 .....Only 20% of senior management rolls are held by women in this country, And Only 22.8% of national parliamentarians are women.

So, although celebrating international women’s day is a major step forward, we still have got a long way to go globally, to reach a place of equality.

Clemmie said that she finds it frustrating to think that she raises her sons and daughter as equals, only to believe that when they eventually go off to work they are likely to be treated differently because of their sex. Thankfully more companies, like Superdrug are now celebrating and embracing diversity, inclusion and equality, and this is the start of a major change in the workplace for women, and one that hopefully our children will benefit from. Clemmie also advised that women stand their ground and own motherhood whilst at the workplace, being firm in decisions and asking for what you believe you are entitled to.

Social media and today’s technology was discussed and bought both positive and negatives to the panelist’s lives. The fact an entire business can be run on your phone on Instagram obviously being a huge plus, but that screen times are now going through the roof, and mindless scrolling is taking over, with constant comparisons to others, and images of perfection, often causing us to feel inadequate or anxious. Dr Pixie also mentioned the fact our teens now spend most of their time online scrolling or gaming (something that I really can’t get my head round with my own teenage son) sitting in a room chatting on headsets, seriously what has happened to meeting up at the local park? What is it going to be like in another 10 years time?

But do women want to have it all ? A resounding yes, why not? But also remembering it’s the everyday things that are really important, putting your kiddies to bed, knowing they are safe and warm, enjoying a cup of tea and a Mr Kipling cake and watching Netflix (thx Jen for keeping it real)

Sisters, Mothers and friends gave our panelist’s inspiration, drive and support in life, females boosting each other up, sharing experiences, celebrating and supporting each other. All pushing each other forward and inspiring women to ‘have it all’ Instagram followers Being a strong community of support and drive for our panelist’s too.

I was horrified to learn that women spend a third of their lives in menopause, yes really!!!! and on top of that we have pregnancy, child birth and periods to deal with. Pretty good job that we are all lifting each other up and having super power coffee mornings like this one to get us through.

With also a chance for some pampering and the opportunity to get your boobs checked with coppafeel, Superdrug really did have this event fully covered. I left (with not only an absolutely amazing goodie bag that my daughter and I have had great fun rummaging through) but also hope and reassurance that both my daughters are growing up in a very different world to the one our mothers and grandmothers grew up in, feeling hopeful thay one day they will work for a company like Superdrug who are empowering women and supporting equality.

Thanks for an absolutely amazing morning Superdrug, and MM for bringing us together and once again driving home that women have the Superpower .....and we must never forget it!

At today’s event we were talking Post Partum Hair loss, Pubey partings (Jenny has one for the record) identity and confidence crisis dilemmas and how we can get back in control and work with the hair that we now have, post pregnancy...

At the amazing Aveda Lifestyle Salon, sipping on Prosecco (why not?) sat with a massive bunch of beautiful mamas and babies, we listened to a panel of hair experts and pro mamas (MM Jenny, Emily @earnyourroast, Jade @mother_of_all_adventures and Dr Mayoni @drmayoniclinic talking all things hair and how pregnancy and hormones can leave us feeling pretty crap and our hair looking generally a bit shit really!

Mike of Aveda (@michalelendon @avedauk ) ... who has over 15 years experience and 35,000 haircuts in the bag ) said the link between our hair and emotions is pretty strong, so when our hair changes post pregnancy we need to learn how to work with the hair we have now and gain back control of owning our new dos to help us to regain our confidence.

So why do we loose so much hair after baby ?I know for me, during pregnancy my hair was lovely and thick, it grew loads and felt really soft and healthy. Then a few months after I gave birth (mine was worse with my daughters ?? Anyone else ?) it fell out by the handful, it sat really flat and felt dull and lifeless! At times I felt like a coconut had more hair than me. When you already feel like your belly is like a deflated balloon, your boobs are drooping down to your waist, haemorrhoids hanging out your bum (sorry too much ) and a newborn baby hanging off your hip, the hair is like the final straw!

It’s actually completely normal to loose hair post baby, annoying as it is. During pregnancy our normal hair loss process slows right down and we hang on to extra hair, so when our hormone levels return to normal we loose that extra hair along with our normal daily amount (20- 100 hairs) so it seems like a lot. It seems that it happens more when we wash it, but that is simply because our hair is down and being washed, so if you’ve had your mum bun in a few days and then you take it out to wash it, all that hair that’s been stuck up in your bun will come out in the shower, making it seem like loads. I had times when I thought I would have no hair left at all.

You need to carry on washing and styling your hair as normal. Keep your scalp healthy and clean, using good products like Aveda ( the team are happy to advise you and will give you a free scalp and hair health consultation if you pop in)

Regular cuts, but not 6 weekly, as despite what we are led to believe, this does not encourage hair growth, it just blunts the ends making hair look healthier, and thicker

So do yourself a favour AND

Speak to a professional...

Although it’s very easy to grab the nearest hair dye from boots for a DIY Jobbie in desperation, find a nice salon and someone who can help advise on colour and style. See it as an opportunity to grab yourself some time, let someone look after you and make you feel better about yourself, even if you have to take your baby along with you. You will still leave feeling better.......Self care and new hair !!

Our hormones fluctuate so much during pregnancy and post partum, it’s inevitable that it will play havoc with our skin, hair, bodies. Dr Mayoni stressed the importantance to eat well and be kind to yourself during but also after pregnancy.

This is not the time to deprive your body and put yourself on to a restrictive diet but a time to really ensure you are eating nutrient dense, healthy foods.

Vitamin D is vital during pregnancy and after for breastfeeding, and even after that, so continue with your supplements, also we found out today that Mushrooms are a good source!! Get your mushrooms cooking ladies.

I have looked in to some other foods to eat in abundance post partum to help keep you running nicely and the locks looking fab...

Supplement if necessary, find one containing iron, folate, zinc and magnesium. I particularly LOVE Wild Nutrition (@wildnutritionltd ) as they are all food grown supplements and therefore easier for the body to metabolise.

Jade (mum of 5... Supermum) found mixing up her hairstyles and colour during and after pregnancy was a good way to make her feel better, and boost confidence. Emily said she found resuming exercise did wonders for her self esteem and finding herself again. ( oh and both agreed to stay away from the home colouring kits! )

So although we may all be a little greyer, slightly thinner on top, feeling a little less like our Pre-mum selves, if you can get yourself to the salon and have a nice fresh cut and colour, use the best products for your hair at home, and make the best of what you have... mix up your parting from time to time, work out those hair muscles, soon you will feel like you are back in the game with your hair 💪🏻. Try to remember that once your hormones balance out again your hair will return to its normal shedding cycle. If you can try to keep on top of eating healthily, boosting your mood with some exercise (if you can, follow Emily for some motivation ) releasing those happy endorphins, and take time out when you need to, as in go and enjoy some time in the salon chair, You DESERVE it, you will start to feel more like you again.

Thanks for my goody bag Aveda .... how I love a goody bag :) can’t wait to try my products out later too.

Are you one of those people who just doesn’t know what to wear on a daily basis, plagued with the debate in your head of “do I like this, is it me, is it too safe, is it too daring..?” SAME! Did you then find that having a kid/s added another layer on top of these daily questions... “Do I look too mumsy, do I look like I’m trying to be a ‘cool’ mum..?”Yep, after the baby-vom clothes have been able to be disposed of and normal dressing can resume, WTF do you wear, especially back to work? Trying to find the balance between being true to yourself and your style, and then conforming to what you ‘should’ wear is real.Firstly, I hate conforming and I don’t feel anyone should do anything based on what they ‘should’ do if it compromises your self-worth FULL STOP. I went back to work for the same company and after coming to terms with my own identity crisis after having a child (we all go through that right?) I realised I then had to grapple with my colleagues perception of me as well. All very well if you’ve (finally) adjusted, but what if your work colleagues haven’t. The crunch for me was being asked if I was having a mid-life crisis after getting my nose re-pierced... I’m 31 FFS !!!!I’ve had a long, fun career in the fashion industry, travelling, shooting, events, party-ing. Obvs having a baby and moving out of London, my life and priorities are different now... But why should you feel you have to prove yourself to others? Yes I’d rather go to a Mini Rodini sample sale now over a Stella McCartney one (don’t get me started on not having any money either!) but a reminder in any industry, that your colleague with children, shouldn’t just be defined by that label. The ‘old, fun me’ still exists, but you’re always going to have the newbies who only know you as the Mum who has to run for the train everyday to get to nursery pick-up on time.....In this confusing climate of societal expectations placed on you and your body during motherhood, it’s no wonder it’s confusing. On one hand you’re being told to “dress like a Mum” eg. sensible, respectable, covered up to hide your Mum-bod, VS the unrealistic “​ ​#​goals” fed to us via role models such as the Jenners and Kardashians of Motherhood. Stick to your gut, don’t compare, keep to your style + don’t lose your identity (as well as the lie-ins, energy and sanity of having children!) ..Be proud of YOU, your body + your unique style, don’t worry about anyone else’s view on you!

]]>Fri, 01 Mar 2019 14:28:14 GMThttp://www.mothersmeetings.com/blog/why-a-dose-of-self-hype-is-as-important-as-self-helpLucy Werner, Founder of Thewern.com @wernchat A consultancy to help startups and small businesses. ​

Why a dose of self-hype is as important as self-help

A brief journey of being self-employed and having a baby -

Before I had my first baby, I ran my own company with a team which I tried to manage whilst taking mat leave. In parts, I really enjoyed still being able to use that part of my brain, but there were also moments, when the choice was taken away - such as having to write a press release two weeks post-partum - that were difficult.

For numerous reasons the business wasn’t flourishing without me (another post for another time on why getting a co-founder can be a great idea). Originally, I had planned to return to work full time at three months using shared parental leave, but when the time came, I wasn’t ready.

At six months, I still only felt ready to be back part time and immediately had to make the remaining team redundant.At my lowest point, I remember sitting in a coffee shop feeling like a failure and ugly crying quite publicly. I wanted so badly to create a PR business that served small businesses, but I couldn’t make it profitable and be the Mum I wanted.

I then threw myself into house selling / buying and just making ends meet and before I knew it – 2018 had gone. My business had just existed and a whole year had passed me by. I’d ignored my own advice of having a communications plan, promoting myself and any direction. I hadn’t got anywhere because I hadn’t even put in my mind where I wanted to go.

The media industry basically shuts down over Christmas, enough was enough, so I took a fortnight off.I used the excuse of letting my French mother-in-law and partner have some quality time together and locked myself away. I created a vision board, I completed the No Bull School end of year review and I set myself goals and tasks for 2019. Then most importantly I started to share them.

I started to pitch myself for guest posts, speaker panels, sharing more tips to back up my knowledge on my social channels and other witterings to hopefully give a glimpse into my personality. I joined four different networking groups, I’ve literally never been so busy, but I’ve never made so many contacts and had so many ideas. I hyped myself to everyone and anyone that would listen about what I wanted to do. I overhauled my Instagram with a rebrand and started taking baby steps towards my five-year goals.

From 12 months of being a work ghost to hyping myself for just one month - I secured three guest panels, three blog posts, grew my audience, made some lovely new friends (mostly through Mother’s Meetings obvs) and even secured a business book deal! All of which whilst doesn’t dramatically change my business day-to-day are part of my long-term business plan. It’s a marathon not a sprint for sure.

If you had told me, even in November, that I would get these things I wouldn’t have believed you. So, my lesson learnt, and to pass on to you ladies is learn to self-hype. It feels scary to put yourself back out there, but as soon as you step out of the shadows, I’m testament that amazing things can happen for you personally and professionally.

Lucy Werner, Founder of Thewern.com @wernchat A consultancy to help startups and small businesses. ​

Today I write this with sheer pain in my heart, the pain isn’t from our 4 year old son Franck having leukaemia it comes from the haters that want to take me and my family of 4 down. I initially wanted to write about the first few days of Franck being diagnosed but recent events have brought this to the forefront of my mind, so I feel it necessary at this time to express the feelings I have right now!

Franck was diagnoses with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia the day after Ruby’s (older sister) 7th Birthday, 5th October 2018. Obviously this destroyed our world as we knew it. When we met our consultant, who is amazing btw, I distinctly remember her saying to both Paul (husband) and I in the procedure room on starlight ward “this is the time when you will find out who your true friends and family are. There are 2 types of people, ones that will support you every step of the way and ones that will turn this onto them and make this into their drama”. Low and behold within the first week this happened and the saddest thing was that it was my Mum. I know she has problems herself, ones that she won’t admit to, that we’ve all brushed under the carpet but this was the time that I REALLY needed my Mum. I’m not denying that I’m perfect in any shape or form but I had just been told that my son has a life threatening disease and the treatment plan was 3.5 years. I needed the support. Instead I heard statements like “has Paul gone back to work”, “ I guess you’ll have to go on benefits like everyone else” “ I have a business I can’t just drop everything” my heart sank and forgive me if I’m wrong but yes I did shout and I did scream because you know what I needed to. I remember screaming “from one mother to another can you just please understand?!?!?”

This then caused a ripple effect, Paul text my stepdad as a cry for help asking for them to support me. For some reason this caused anger in my stepdad who proceeded to come up to the hospital the next day to confront Paul, however in the mean time he’d sent the message to both my brothers and Paul’s parents to what can only feel like forming an army against us. This however had no effect on Paul’s parents as they agreed with everything that was written in the said text. The message then sparked anger in my eldest brother who as I later found out was told by my sister in law to not come up to the hospital and confront me. This advice was ignored and he came up to a children’s cancer ward to intentionally confront me on a matter that was none of his business. I have never denied that I’m rubbish in an argument, if I feel I’m getting attacked my defence walls immediately come up and I will shout, but that gets perceived as “I’m an angry person” (I’m literally shaking whilst writing this, all those belittling feelings are coming back) I remember my brother standing over me whilst I was led on the hospital bed laughing and repeatedly laughing and saying “you’re an angry person” at this point Franck came into the room and told him to “get out and leave my mummy alone” my brother walked out of the room raising his voice down the corridor saying “you’re an angry person, you need help”. As you can imagine I felt like I had been repeatedly kicked in the stomach 1000 times. The whole ward heard this and Paul had no other option but to tell my brother to stay away from us. Ok let’s be honest he probably used a few swear words...

Whilst we were in hospital for the induction stage, it soon came to light by what our consultant and nurses were telling us that the first 6-9months were the hardest and that we needed to be financially secure because Paul would not be able to work. Franck and ruby needed both of us around during this time. There was no question that we needed help financially so we set up a gofundme page. We didn’t want to as it wasn’t in our nature but we panicked and thought if we don’t we are going to lose our home and business. We are absolutely overwhelmed with the response we got and are still getting, we reached our goal of 50k within months and people still want to fundraise for us. Being in this environment opens your eyes to what other families are going through which is why we’ve used the companies that work with us to fundraise for the hospitals Grand appeal and the haematology & oncology (starlight) ward in Bristol’s Children’s hospital to make this whole experience easier for other families, the kids going through such awful times and to give back. This is something both Paul and I are extremely passionate about and we will always fundraise for these brave kids and their families. Leukaemia will affect Franck’s life forever, he will beat this and ring that bell after 3.5 years but he has to look after himself because if not it could come back in later life or he could get another form of cancer.

Anyone with even an ounce of compassion would understand that this is the most hardest time of our lives and that the emotional struggle is real. Not having that financial strain is a god blessing and we cannot thank everyone enough!!!

Now let’s talk about our social media presence... both Paul and I are heavily into instagram as we all are (let’s be honest) and we use it as an outlet to show our supporters what Franck is going through, we certainly don’t hold back and show the pain that Franck has to endure every time he has to go down for a lumber punch, have chemo injected into his spine, his port accessed, chemo stabbed into his leg... the list goes on and I’m sure you can imagine from a parents point of view that seeing your child go through this is torture. We are using our experience and our following to raise awareness for this horrible disease that although is rare, affects so many kids in the U.K. Our consultant has even asked us to because like any other ward, hospital, disease, awareness is key because they rely heavily on funding.

We can all judge behind our phones over posts and stories on Instagram but social media is a smoke screen. Sometimes I think I’ve seen friends recently when in actual fact I’ve seen them on IG and totally forgotten to stay in contact because you feel like you are in contact with them every day. People will sit behind their phones and get angrier and angrier at what they see and start hating on you and it’s pure jealousy but you don’t know what happens behind closed doors, you dont know the struggle some people are going through but their picture or story says otherwise.

I have another older brother who has done just this, in the last day or so after I’d clocked this was happening, the lack of contact, never asking how Franck is, never coming to see us. When you know you just know and it hurts. I would spend days crying about it. I had to take charge so I blocked him from my Instagram and phone contacts, in fact I blocked everyone in that circle. I cannot let this in, I have to concentrate on my family and be strong for them. I was out taking one of my dogs for a walk and bumped into him, I noticed that laugh, snigger he did, (just like my other brother had done) so I knew he knew. His wife who was also there was asking about Franck’s treatment we were going into hospital for that day. I told them he was going in for an echo to check the chemo hadn’t damaged his heart, which I was very nervous about because what happens if it had? I wasn’t in the mood to confront the situation after he asked why? I told him why and he insisted we talked about it there and then. Oh no I wasn’t going to be controlled so I started to walk away because I know what I get like when they start to go in on me yet that wasn’t good enough and I was called “pathetic” “angry” etc etc...

When Paul confronted him via a telephone conversation, it all then came out... “we have an agenda” “we are living the life of Riley on other people’s money” “we should be asking how he is” “he can’t wait for people to see the real Paul” Gobsmacked, dumbfounded, shocked, the list goes on.

Do I really deserve all of this? Am I a horrible person? Am I even angry? The answer to all of these questions is NO, however I will always question myself and will let those horrible thoughts come into my head. I’m just a mother fighting the worst fight of her life, trying to stay strong to get Franck, Ruby & Paul through this.

Thankfully I have a very supportive husband who has my back, he would rather deep the negativity than see me hurt and in pain and that speaks volumes. I have amazing friends who are my REAL family and other members of family who are being super supportive. With every situation there is always going to be negative people that will try and take you down but these people will only make us stronger. I know my truth...

On this beautifully sunny day, us mamas had some serious ‘insta surgery’ from Instagram guru, and author, Sara Tasker.

Only 6 years ago, whilst on maternity leave, feeling lost and missing her identity outside of her new role of motherhood, Sara found solace in her phone and set herself up on Instagram, a decision that soon ‘changed her world’. Finding a space to connect with others and share her creativity, whilst feeling free to completely be herself Sara gained over 1000 followers within her first month, soon to be 40k in 4 months. Posting a photo each day she continued to bloom with a huge following, successful blog, influencer work and whole new community of friends, connections and exciting business prospects.

So obviously, we all wanted to know... HOW ? In the social media world Sara has created a life that she has full control over, that benefits her with a great salary, she even has her husband working for her, whilst living in her much dreamed about home in the country with her family.

Sara gave us all some pointers that I am going share with you all below.

I also recommend you buy Sara’s book, I have read it in one day and it’s a must read if you are looking to grow your Instagram, and yourself !

Let’s talk....

FOLLOWERSWe are all so focused on followers ...but who is it that you are trying to reach? This is what you need to focus on. Gaining a significant and meaningful following is much more advantageous. People that engage with you and your content, these are the followers that count, these are who can help grow your page/business.

THE BIO and THE GRID ......Come on we’ve all don’t it right? Typed out a few lines, deleted, changed it, used up our space allowance. Written it out again. This is the first thing people read about you. Its your identity, branding and theme. What you are ALL about ...This and your first few squares are the things people see when they look at your page. YOU are your own content! Make it factual, have a theme.

REFINE WHAT YOUR BRAND MESSAGE IS AND MAKE YOUR STYLE CONSISTENT Using apps and editing tools to create same style pictures, Sara suggested Lightroom as a good app for editing and planning apps like Plann to see how your page will look when you post, saving you any ‘insta regret’ and giving you chance to save hashtags and captions.

KNOW YOUR BRAND MESSAGEIs your page individual to your brand?

#HASHTAGSA way of finding your people! 10-15 is Sara’s recommended amount, move them up, change them to suit seasonal changes for example or using some very active and some less popular tags feature hashtags and topical hashtags form the community. New, fresh lists to increase engagement.

TALKING OF ENGAGEMENT...Spend time engaging with your people. Every comment you leave on someone’s page is like a digital business card for your account, take time to like and comment interact with followers who comment on your post. Look up hashtag searches or location searches to discover likeminded people. Connect and be authentic.

POSTINGHow often? Frequent posts can equal to a greater following, however cut yourself some slack if you can’t manage 3 posts a day for example..if you do post less just be sure to engage more. Share your latest post on to your stories, set aside 20 minutes to reply to comments, even just a ‘like’ to show you have seen and read it...remember connections and communication gains you a community. This is the secret weapon of social media.

BLOGBlogging gives you a permanence that maybe Instagram doesn’t, you are your content. Collect a mailing list for your blog readers as this is a great way to make meaningful contact.

KEEP SAFE and BE KIND TO YOURSELF Go to your setting and turn on the hide offensive comments option. You can also add keywords you wish to filter out of comments on your post. Turn on two factor authentication, twice as secure and harder to hack (There are more helpful tips in the book)

Sara’s recipe for success in a nutshell...

Post Brilliant Content, not perfection, just being selective and pushing yourself.

Engage Spend more time exploring other people’s pages then your own get out your comfort zone. Interact with new people.

Try new things and accept their is no magic wand! Be unique, clear and consistent, be who you are m. Trust the process, learn and share.

Instagram is generally a very positive environment.

Thanks Sara for all your tips and Instagram surgery on the very spot for some of our brave mamas, seeing all your different instagrams and business ideas never ceases to inspire me and make me realise how powerful social media is today. I wouldn’t have met any of you if it wasn’t for the little free app that is INSTAGRAM.

February’s new MM members kick started the week off with a very busy, very buzzy, coffee morn.

The Lioness of life coaching, Danielle Mckenna and MM’s Jenny Scott, welcomed all the mamas (some very very new mamas) and soon got on the way with some pointers for growing our self confidence.

Shoreditch House library was packed, literally bursting, some scared, some excited and some ‘not sure if I should be here?’ mums. After a quick little warm up exercise from Danielle, all of us couldn’t stop talking and the room was filled with energy ( a few baby screams and some boobs out action) the room was alive and it was pretty clear we were all glad we were there.

WE ALL have that annoying little inner critic of a voice, every single one of us, yep even the mums that look like they are SO together. We are all constantly doubting and pulling ourselves apart, on everything from our looks, to parenting skills, relationships and careers. This became very clear once we all started talking.

None of us had any trouble writing three negative things that we said to ourselves that morning. I’ll be honest I could’ve gone on to an extra sheet of paper.

It made me feel quite sad to hear some of the listings of doom when Danielle read them out. Really sad actually. The energy had completely changed in the room. In fact it felt ...Flat as a pancake :(

Here I was in a room full of women, all totally different, some so stylish or with beautiful skin, gorgeous smiles, friendly and warm, and yet here they all were saying they were ‘too fat, too shouty, not good enough, too loud, too quiet, can’t do it’.

Wtf.

I am writing this like I hadn’t told myself anything negative ... well let me tell you I have the biggest arse hole of an inner critic, I rip myself to pieces daily....Even the morning of the meeting, anxiously wondering who I’ll know, will people think I’m this or that, will I blurt something out embarrassing blah blah blah. I am very good at appearing confident when inside I’m actually riddled with self critical ramblings .... Anyway....

We all had to close our eyes and picture this annoying inner voice as a person.

In fact do it now .....

What does yours look like? I imagined mine as the little red gremlin emoji 👹....most women saw themselves, the lady next to me ....pictured a skinny man... which keeps making me giggle. Picturing this inner voice as a person and connecting with them, can actually make it easier to control.

Next up was the chance for us to connect with our INNER LEADER... now listen up as this is the girl (or boy) you need to know ..

My Inner leader ... well she is basically Oprah, she is one bad ass mother, full of sass and confidence. She is telling me that I am wise, compassionate and helping me fill my life with purpose and clarity.

I pictured meeting her at my safe place (where’s yours? Mine is a beautiful, sunny beach ...I’m a cancerian, I love to be by the water) wth birds and butterflies and warm sun on my face.

So ok, are you with me ???

When that gremlin pops up, STOP, breathe, put your feet firmly on the ground and imagine being at your safe place.

Picture your inner leader coming to you there and telling you, ‘girl, you have got this, you can do this, you have the authority to live your life the way you want to, the power and the strength to be who you want to be,’ or if you can’t go that far, even just giving you the reassurance that they are there, when you need them.

Danielle taught me that in one hour🤷🏻‍♀️ .... made me think I probably should’ve seen a life coach about 20 years ago 😂I’ve only been doing it for one day but I’m liking my little meet up with Oprah at the beach. She’s got my back.

As mums, you can really loose yourself can’t you? Putting everyone else’s needs above your own. Spinning a million plates. Never giving yourself any time, feeling guilty when you do. Over time this can knock our confidence, which in turn can contribute to us missing out on opportunities, goals and dreams. All because of that little gremlin inner critic of an arse, but you have the power to change that.

You just have to find your inner leader

You deserve happiness, you deserve ‘you time’ however you can find it. You deserve to live your life how you want to, you have the power to change your life, you have the power to silence your inner critic. You need to practise self love, and self care.

I know it’s easier said then done, but just try it. Practise meeting your leader.

Tell yourself this ....I CANI WILLI AMI DESERVE

Find what you love, even for just 20 mins, a run, a bath, some meditation, yoga or maybe an insta scroll, a cuddle with your kids / friend /partner ...do whatever makes you feel grounded, and breathe

I absolutely loved meeting you all, and just for the record, all of the mums I had the pleasure of speaking to, I could easily now say three things about you that I thought made you flipping great,

You are BRAVE You are BEAUTIFULYou made me feel WELCOME

So Thank you.

When women support women powerful things can happen. We are in this together and we can help each other grow.

Not a manky conference room in sight, in fact quite the opposite, how cool is Town Hall hotel and apartments ?No awkward intros or cringe moments, within minutes of my arrival, the huge room was full of women, babies, and cute little toddlers. Do you know what I find so cool about these events is that everyone speaks to each other, people walk in and say hi, just mums wanting a nice chat and some time out. There were loads of MM virgins, some of which had babies honestly fresh out the womb. HATS off girls, I mean seriously, to even get out the house, let alone go on your own to a massive event like that I think you are Brave AF.

We started this MM with the calming voice of @ayishacarrington_(aka the spiritual G) relaxing us all with a little meditation. Loosing any anxiety or post school run stress, and getting us all in the mood to relax and listen to the powerhouse panel of mamas Jenny had brought together for us. Jen welcomed us all and covered the fact that as mamas we are all constantly bogged down with pressure. That we shouldn’t feel guilty for the odd time / chance we get to sit down, with a cuppa and just be.

So with our cuppas, one by one, the panel took to the mic to share with us some unwanky, cringe free networking tips, online and offline.

Kicking it off @juniepoonie queen of the bespoke cards, stationary and seriously sassy prints told us to ‘Be brave.When you get told no by someone, it’s not the end, keep going, don’t worry, someone will say yes as Someone will LOVE what you do.Find those people. Stick with them and BE YOURSELF’

Next up Lucy from @wernpr, glowing with pregnancy glow.... Lucy encouraged us all to ‘provide value with everyone you interact with, and continue to build on relationships. Work off those online and offline vibes and remember that anyone can do anything. Publicise you, be you, You have nothing to loose. Go for it.’

Keri @doiikeamother in all of her pink beauty, a self confessed mum life disruptor, who likes to show mother’s that it’s not the end of a life you had but seeing it more of a ‘rebirth’ when you’ve had kids, said we should

‘Welcome contact and new connections, ignore the fact it seems women are channeled to be mean girls and out to get each other, and instead focus on boosting each other up, welcome new opportunity, be fearless and reserve judgement’

Helen @notaboutthekids told us how she likes to ‘Share love, shower compliments like confetti, build and work on connections and friendships. Keep in touch with your people, chat, have coffees....build yourself a COMMUNITY stop telling yourself you can’t... you can and age shouldn’t stop you either’

(flipping go girl.. also can I have your anti ageing secrets as when you said you were in your 40s I nearly choked on my caffeine.)

So there you have it. Some majorly positive kick ass, attitudes and advice from mamas who are doing all the above and reaping the rewards. I’m excited to follow them on their journeys now, watch them grow. In fact all of you mamas I met this is just the beginning or the journey, right?

We went on to ‘network’ (basically chat, laugh and share stories with more confidence than if we hadn’t started off with a standing power pose.......Anyone else been wandering round the house like it since? My kids are like mums doing that thing with her arms up again.. then they really think I’ve lost it when I shout YOU’RE SAFE HERE, the teen is like please don’t do that when my mates come over).... mmmmm watch me,

We played some human bingo. I was starting convos with women I’ve never met ‘just tell me do you have matching underwear on’ or ‘ffs who’s got bloody twins or sliders?’ Good starting points for a convo tho!

I met so many mums who I honestly was blown away by there stories, ideas and instagram showreel, not to mention their cute babies. Most importantly I can’t wait to see them all again. I have loved looking at everyone’s instagrams and Learning more about the ladies I met ( yep Jen bit of husband stalking ... interiors too im a sucker for an interior stalk) anyway I left feeling like this ...

Brave, fearless and with a buzz similar to that of a night out (from what I can remember of having nights out ) minus the hangover and with some new mates that I didn’t meet chatting drunk shit to in a bog. Just really nice people. Oh and I didn’t feel like I networked at all, I just had a nice time, and followed some pretty cool mamas on insta.

See you at the next one ladies KEEP GOING, stick with your tribe, boost each other up, be yourselves, as you are all bloody fab ....and remember WE have got this! Sisters are doing it for themselves !!!!!!