Tuesday, March 06, 2007

A biotech company in California (surprise) is developing the latest in so-called "Frankenstein Foods": A species of rice that contains human genes. The reason? Since the grains contain the same proteins found in mother's milk, it will make the rice easier for young systems to control diarrhea.

Ventria's website features a press release extolling the virtues of adding Lactiva™ and Lysomin™ to rice-based electrolyte solutions.

Apparently, the Sacramento-based company has created synthetic versions of the human-gene proteins lactoferrin and lysozyme, and developed a method of infusing baby rice seedlings by innoculating them with bacteria containing the proteins. They have recently been approved to grow acres of this GMO crop in Kansas, to a loud, expected outcry.

The real flaw in this plan? Rice-based foods a pharmeceuticals are no better than any grain-based food. And conducting lab experiments to make rice more digestible is like mixing a neutralizing agent into gasoline so you can drink it safely. What's the point?

Friday, February 23, 2007

Monday, March 27, 2006

The cloned piggies are back in the news, and, like we suspected, they are good for you.

In what appears to be an effort to save Omega-3 rich fish from over-harvesting, geneticists have spliced a gene that makes “good” fat from a tiny, bacteriovorous soil nematode called Caenorhabditis elegans, into the nucleus of a fetal pig cell. The result is a healthier slab of bacon: Pork meat that is more Omega-3 and less Omega-6. Mmmmm.

The other other white meat

I love the concession that “…no one knows what their meat tastes like…” How long before we find out? “Hmmm, it’s a bit like pork, but with a piquant undertone of worm... Tastes like chicken.”

Thursday, October 06, 2005

In a follow-up to an earlier posting, we present this article about the current state of agri-cloning.

Apparently the entire industry can be traced back through mitochondrial chains to John Fisher, an enterprising man who, not satisfied with the lowly ‘Boar Semen Merchant’ on his resume, became president of a company called Prairie State Semen, Inc. …Or, “PSSS”.

Not sure where that other S comes from. They “collect” on Mondays and Thursdays, so be sure to order accordingly. They’ll send you your prize boar semen UPS Next Day Air. Better hope Brown doesn’t mix it up with your next order from Swiss Colony.

You can’t make this stuff up.But as alarming as the idea of eating cloned meat and milk can be, (they call it the ‘yuck factor’), the truth is almost all farmed food eaten today is the result of purposeful genetic selection, careful pollination or grafting, or some other human meddling.

Eventually we’ll get used to it.

The WaPo article concludes with a quote from grocer Mark Nelson: “If the public doesn't want to eat Velveeta made from cloned milk, it ain't gonna happen."

Think on that. A grocers’ advocate is using scare tactics to remind his shoppers how natural and wholesome Velveeta is.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Health Department of the great Keystone State has instituted a new policy this year: Every school nurse will administer a body mass index test (height-to-weight ratio) and then inform the apparently dubious parents of their kid’s score, and explain where that score sits in relation to his classmates. Implied are the misconceptions that

A) an arbitrary number of one’s BMI correctly labels one as “obese”, and

B) that the kid’s folks don’t have a clue that junior is packing on the pounds unless of course the Nanny State sends a letter home.

What is the point of sending home a letter to parents that their child is clinically “obese”?

Firstly, a BMI “grade” does you no good when the criteria fluctuate from city to city around the globe: Some cite the magic number ‘30’, some use the 85th percentile, others the 95th. A percentile depends on the rest of the group, like grading on a curve.

Secondly, the parents know that their kids are big, and either they care or they don’t. But a note from teacher isn’t going to change anything. And chances are the parents are fat themselves.

Does PANA, the Pennsylvania Advocates for Nutrition and Activity, the group behind this plan, actually imagine one of their students going home with his 4.6 hours of daily homework in his backpack, and handing a letter from the school nurse to his busy, detached, also-fat, two-income parents? And then does someone on that panel envision one of those parents stopping, setting down the TV dinner and slipping the oven mitt off one hand while quietly reading this epistle their child has just stuck into their other? Then sitting down with that “Honey, we have to talk” tone so frequent in after-school PSAs?

Who are these parents? Presumably the same people who don’t realize their car is dirty until some prankster scrawls “Wash Me” in the caked mud on the rear window.

“Oh, dear. My daughter is obese. I thought she was just big-boned. She seems normal compared to her friends. I wouldn’t want her to be anorexic. I’m proud that she doesn’t allow her self-image to be tainted by those waifs in the fashion magazines she reads while she chomps on licorice whips and soda pop. Let’s all go out to the Big Country Buffet and discuss this over dinner.”

And what, we ask, is worse: Sending home something as meaningless as the letters, or “giving parents the option of not receiving the letters.” So explains Nancy Alleman, school nurse. I wish the electric company would adopt such a policy, and let customers choose whether or not we want to receive bills.

Nurse Alleman makes sure those naughty little girls get squeaky clean. And just who do those man’s legs belong to in the mirror, and what is he doing in the girls’ lavatory?

Dr. Reginald L. Washington, a Denver pediatrician and big-wig in the field of pediatric obesity, is more sensible about the problem: "To say, 'Here's a piece of paper and the world will be right,' is foolish." True, but what value and power is possessed by ‘a piece of paper’ called a report card, or a med school diploma?

Dr. Washington, who apparently phones in all prescriptions

Teachers seem to think that ‘a piece of paper’ with a number on it, black-and-white results of a test, be it a BMI score or an SAT score or a spelling quiz grade, are irrefutable law (until some dissatisfied parents ask that their school system administer its teachers a standardized test).

Please be reminded that this government-implemented “solution” would be unnecessary had not the government-implemented dietary guidelines created the problem to begin with.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

I suppose it’s a myth that the Mainstream Media is liberally biased.I suppose it’s possible I have become a grumpy old man who looks for things to complain about.One can expect that on this, the fourth anniversary of our country’s darkest day, the MSM might downplay their memorial editions, their retrospectives, maybe even omit any photos.

But this morning’s front page of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland’s [only] newspaper, is conspicuously lacking: Other than the date, the only mention of “9/11” is this article blaming the Federal Government for its reportedly horrible job of sending billions of dollars to New Orleans.Guess I’m just getting old.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Reportedly there are "tons" of bloggers linking to this posting, so here's one more. As we go to print the rather unbelievable accounts are as yet unconfirmed. With hope, this posting will be updated with a notice of its invalidity.This may or may not be the time or space to get political about the catastrophe of New Orleans. But if you're sick of hearing the bungling politicos harangue President Bush for everything, from ignoring 'global warming' thus causing the big hurricane, to goofing off on vacation, fiddling while Rome burned, read this piece by Jim Geraghty on the hilarious blame game. I read Anne Rice's open letter over the weekend and had a bit of trouble feeling much sympathy. This helps.

NOTE: Regular readers of my 'blog....(my little brother always chuckles when I begin a sentence with that phrase)... may have noticed my absence for most of August. I've been busy, but hope to maintain my [somewhat] regular postings.

Monday, August 01, 2005

After the 2003 death of its founder and namesake, Atkins Nutritionals, Inc., had to file Chapter 11 Bankruptcy protection.

This might be due to the fact that the Atkins diet has been treated as a fad, a quick weight loss, temporary crash diet. As anyone knows who has ever followed Dr. Atkins’ principals of low-glycemic carbs balanced with moderate amounts of protein and fat, (a) the diet works, and (b) all body fat lost will be re-gained upon the diet’s abandonment.

Low-Carb is a lifestyle, a philosophy, even a religion to some. It’s an entire paradigm shift in one’s relationship with food and with the earth that provides it, in one’s sense of history and kinship with past generations of relatives human and pre-human, and with the Creator who put it all there.

I believe this is the “problem” with the Atkins diet: No one actually reads the book, but everyone knows about it.

Everyone has heard some frumpy woman in the lunchroom at work say something along the lines of: “My neighbor’s friend’s daughter-in-law did the Atkins diet and lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks for her reunion… I lost 14 pounds on it once for my cousin’s wedding. It’s easy, just eat all the meat and cheese you want, but don’t eat any bread.” After a month of ketosis, the dieter binges on pizza and Coke and bounces back to her corpulent self.

But if one actually takes the time to read one of the late doctor’s books, read his magazine, or visited any of the newsgroups on the ‘Net, one would learn that Atkins is a life-long choice. It is a new way of seeing foods for their macro-nutrients: Rice and pasta are no longer staples, they’re garnishes. Bread retires its title as Staff-of-Life and becomes little more than a condiment, reborn in the shape of croutons. Forget about soft drinks.

So it’s no wonder that the company, having invested too much energy and money in recent years competing in the convenience foods market of snack bars and TV dinners, finds itself over-extended.

Let us just hope that this re-organization actually will “not affect its day-to-day operations.”

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

OK. Scientists think they are able to grow small amounts of meat in a lab. Without the animal. Just the meat.

Imagine a Petri dish full of cloned beef which can simply be plopped onto a bun. Yikes.

What do the butchers think about this? What about kosher butchers? Is kosher a genetic determination? Find the perfect kosher specimen and simply clone its flesh for centuries. Sounds like a union grievance waitin’ to happen.

Sci-Fi Reality

There is a movie out this summer called The Island about a colony of cloned people who don’t know they’re clones. They are waiting around for their original progenitors to need a kidney or liver or cornea. It looks like a remake of a B-movie I saw at a drive-in back in the ‘70s called Clone.

The new version looks better, (not a difficult achievement), but the story’s the same: Rich people form a secret company that takes care of their clones at some sort of camp-slash-lab.

There’s another ‘70s movie (am I dating myself?) called Coma in which a similar secret lab kept brain-dead people alive in a morbid organ farm.

One can’t help but think of these movies, these science fiction movies about humans that are farmed for their organs and tissue, when one reads of this proposed meat farm.

No, not farm as in farm, ...but farm as in lab.

Gnarly. With a G.

The Sick, Sad Truth

So. Aside from the moral implications, how is this healthy?

Well, for starters student Jason Matheny thinks they’ll be able to manipulate the meat to produce a healthier food:

"For one thing, you could control the nutrients. For example, most meats are high in the fatty acid Omega 6, which can cause high cholesterol and other health problems. With in vitro meat, you could replace that with Omega 3, which is a healthy fat.”

Forgive me from asking this seemingly simple question of a doctoral candidate, Jason, but, can’t we control the nutrients now? By feeding livestock their natural diet, grass, we produce such a healthy meat. It is only through the corner-cutting of agri-business that we produce cows that are too fat and too slow and too full of Omega 6 fatty acids.

Sorry, Jason, but controlling the nutrients is not exclusive to “in vitro” meat.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

The War on Terror is by no means over. There is still a very real threat, despite what the anti-war crowd says, to the entire free world. Not just lower Manhattan. Madrid learned this. Today London did too. Who’s next?

Will the French finally alter their policy of appeasement only when the Eiffel Tower is a smoldering mass of twisted steel? Imagine a Europe without it. Or a Rome without St. Peter’s or the Coliseum. Or Toronto without the CN Tower.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

A diet of primarily low-glycemic carbohydrates, such as fresh vegetables and fruits, has been found to boost fertility. At least it did for Jools Oliver, wife of TV celeb chef Jamie.The fetching Briton and her hubby have popped out two babies, only after Mrs. O changed her diet.

We’ve known this for years, but the mainstream is finally catching on to the fact that the body’s hormone levels can easily be controlled by keeping blood sugar and insulin balanced. Here is a batch of data demonstrating the effects low glycemic index carbs can have with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

I’m a bit confused: The article, bootlegged from the London Telegraph, tells us that scrambled eggs and toast are low-glycemic. Toast? Maybe in England, where dry white toast might be the healthiest carb on the breakfast table among crumpets and, um, spotted dick.

I’m certainly no fertility expert, but I’d say if you’re trying to balance your insulin, stay away from the toast. Have some fruit with your eggs.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I’ll be the first to say it: Saddam Hussein’s prison conditions are indistinguishable from those of the Nazis, Pol Pot’s killing fields, Stalin’s gulags…or even that hell-on-earth, Camp Delta, Cuba.

The former Iraqi president is being executed slowly, his pancreas and liver murdered one corn chip at a time. Sure, he asks his captors to bring him a bag. But do the imperialist dogs have to be so cruel as actually to inflict the helpless man with their orange triangles of death?

It’s been a while since I’ve made a meal out of an entire bag of chips, but it’s hardly what one would call prison food. Especially for the likes of the ‘Butcher of Baghdad’.

Crunch all you want. We’ll buy more.

Reports also tell us Hussein wipes his food tray and washes his hands quickly after being touched. He is described as a germ-phobe, but this is the first time in decades he’s had to eat his meals without the peace-of-mind of a food taster. The man has lived in fear of being poisoned.

Nonetheless, he polishes off a family size bag of nacho cheese flavor tortilla chips in ten minutes. Surprised he doesn’t suspect that the bright powder on his fingertips is ‘agent orange.’

It’s only a matter of time before so-called human rights advocates protest America’s cruel acts of junk food addiction being perpetrated on their prisoners. Perhaps Bob Geldof will campaign for a menu of alfalfa sprouts and tuna salad. At least slap the California warning label on the bag.

Cali’s Prop 65 requires warnings on all products that contain trace amounts of carcinogens, and acrylamide is one such chemical that the World Health Organization has found in some commercially-processed, starchy foods.

OK. But what about everything else in chips that’s been proven unhealthy? These hippies can’t see the forest for the acrymalide.

A health professional who claims to be an ‘advocate’ of the public health and who enjoys the resources of the WHO studies and who has the Governor’s ear has a responsibility to find better ways to feed the people.

This measure, if effective, would only serve to punish the “big corporations” (which is the real goal of any activist, after all) who manufacture snacks by requiring the addition of warning labels. It’s an expense, but also an attempted deterrent.

Canada requires graphic warnings on cigarettes that take up half the area of the package.

The efforts of these attorneys, if they really cared about the public health, and if they really wanted to reduce the profits of snack giants like Frito-Lay and Proctor & Gamble, would be better spent encouraging the people to give up processed and starchy foods altogether. With hope, Governor Schwarzenegger will be more practical.