I really never got into the Witcher. It was a very middle of the road RPG to me, with both games having pretty terrible gameplay in different spots and relatively bland worldbuilding. I always hear people praising it but I have no idea why.

Emhyr seems like he'll have a big role, which is good. You spend so little time dealing with Nilfgaard on friendly terms it'll be nice to have a major character from the empire who isn't (or doesn't seem to be) immediately antagonistic.

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The gnome, for example, could be impressed by the technology of a conqueror, the goblin by his riches, the elf by his respect for the arcane, the draenei by his moral integrity, the tauren by his calm authoritative bearing. But the orc, who is impressed by none of these things, must always be struck to the dust, and struck down again as he rises, and struck again as he lies groaning. ĎWhile his wounds still pain him he will respect the hand that dealt themí.

Well here we are again. Itís that time again where we take a three day break from bickering about the boring two-colored world of Warcraft and insisting that the best things about Warcraft are those that involve a bunch of babies crying at each other across the sea instead of adventures of heroes and expanding the actual WORLD. Thereís a reason why there arenít any heroes in Warcraft, people.

We come together to share our love and hatred of video games and things related to video games. That said, letís have ourselves a jolly good Electronically Exaggerated Entertainment show (E3). Only this time the year is AD 2014 and weíre currently in the grim darkness of the future where there is only shooting games, half-baked cinematic experiences, pre rendered bullshit that looks absolutely nothing like the final product, and presentations that will make us cringe hard enough to create a gravitational singularity.

Here is the schedule that has been provided by WARLOCK. I donít know who he is but apparently he puts the scrolls and the lore in Scrolls of Lore (As well as schedules).

Nintendo will not have live presentations. Instead, they will be presenting their products through Nintendo Direct. Also, Nintendo will also be providing additional streams where they will demonstrate their latest products throughout the week, called Nintendo Treehouse. The schedule for Nintendo Treehouse is:

Also for those who are try hard losers, the Smash Invitational will be happening during E3. If youíre a big time fan of sucking the fun out of a game that is meant to be a party brawler then go ahead and check it out. Top Smash Brothers try hards will be competing against each other in a boring tournament. Commentary will be provided by people we never knew or cared about. They are also joined by the Doritosô Pope.

It will be streamed on Twitchís E3 channel and Nintendoís Twitch channel @ 4 p.m. PT.

The winner of the event receives a life time supply of Mountain Dew ô

This may or may not be the most embarrassing thing of E3.

What to expect from E3

Sony: No vita games. No FF15 demo. CINEMATIC EXPERIENCES.

Microsoft: Apologizing for how shit the XBone is. Television, Sports, the next yearly iteration of cawwa duty. Halo TV series. The removal of the Xbox live paywall.CINEMATIC EXPERIENCES!

Nintendo: Video games.

Now for the games to expect.

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The Order: 1866- In the grim darkness of the year of our lord 1866, the smoggy streets of Victoran London is currently being invaded by weird human-beast creatures that come from the ground. Humanity is being pushed to the brink in a story that is totally not like Gears of War. Now a bunch of boring ultra realistic, grimdark and grey gentlemen have to save the day. This is another game that happens when a bunch of people who want to make movies decide they just want to make a game and cash in on the cinematic hype. This is an on rails third person shooter game.

Mortal Kombat 10- The 90ís desperate attempt to be relevant. But it wont work because the content of Mortal Kombat is commonplace in the world of the 21st century.

Halo 5: Guardians- The fifth (Seventh) Halo game. The lore continues to take it up the ass. Master Chief searches for his hunni in a non-specific place within the secret and highly advanced garbage can of the universe. There might be forerunners who want to end humanity for whatever reason. There might be Flood. There might be mistakes reminiscent of Halo 2 where youíre going to play as the fucking Arbiter or a spartan who isnít the chief. Expect the return of the token angry bitch with the inferiority complex that no one likes. Also Halsey may or may not be dead because you can always count on humanity to betray itself when facing its doom.

Halo 2 Anniversary-HD Halo 2. People will claim itís awesome. Other people will say that the Battle Rifle destroyed Halo multiplayer by turning every game into Counter Strike. To this day, Halo remains a headshot simulator.

Destiny-The •51,229,508 Borderlands rip off made by Bungie that will never as good as it. But at least it wonít be written by a talentless hack. Not like that makes it any better. Everyone will say it has the PRETTIEST GRAPHICS while ignoring the possibility that the game play might be crappy and tedious.

Call of Duty: ADVANCED WARFARE- War gets MORE ADVANCED. The duty gets CALLED HARDER and more ADVANCED. Everything will be pseudo-futuristic with pseudo-futuristic soldiers and futuristic nazi zombies. Maybe there will be technobabble that makes you think youíre watching a corny sci-fi flick. But really, Iím starting to believe theyíre beginning to run out of ideas. Whatís going to happen next? ROBOT CATS!? No point in fucking guessing, weíll know in like six months when they decide to throw up the next Call of Duty.

Far Cry 4- Want to know the definition of insanity? Having yet another game/movie that stars the villain. Once again we will be going to the ass end of Nowhere, Planet Earth. And it also happens to be the exact place in this planet where everything is going wrong. It comes in the form of people being apparently oppressed by a flamboyant villain. We can only pray that the trailer wonít involve some ugly ironing board bouncing on someoneís cock.

Battlefield Hardline-Battlefield becomes HARDER, becomes LESS about battlefields and more about cops and robbers. Itís Payday 3: The Battlefield Heist. Everyone is armed to the teeth. Everyone is ready to kill each other to make society a better place or make a quick buck. Why would we want to play this game? Because weíre 12, thatís why.

Star Wars Battlefront- Everyone likes Star Wars. Especially the red lasers and blue lasers flying around everywhere. But that wonít change the fact that it is being produced by EA and it wonít change the fact that everyone is going to hate it because of that. For only $5.99, receive faster spawn times and increased ammo capacity for your blaster rifle. For $10 you can play as a special hero unit with a rainbow lightsaber and the power of Thrall.

Mirrors Edge 2- Boring chick with boring character design parkours. Everyone stands up and cheers because itís so ďInnovativeĒ Yet we all know that itís going to be boring and it wonít sell. Even if we decide to get it, it wonít be until it is under $20.

Dragon Age Inquisition- Biowares latest attempt to apologize to everyone for creating a game as awful as Dragon Age 2. Expect more fishing for attention by pandering to Social Justice Warriors by including at least a million genders and sexual preferences instead of making a game that isnít dogshit. I mean, really who plays video games to play video games in the 21st century? I sure donít.

Batman Arkham Night- Another Batman game which stars the antagonist, the Arkham Knight. We will find out at the end of the game that the Arkham Knight is secretly the Joker who is going through some psychotic breakdown. Just kidding. Letís just write the guy of as Terry McGinnis and call it a day. Because we all know that Terry is the only Batman that isnít a complete fuck up.

Mass Effect-No one knows what it will be about. But fans disappointed by Mass Effect 3 will know to stay away. Expect more social justice pandering, questionable character design and multi colored endings. There might be an apology or two but I wouldnít expect it. The game will feature a new ending, the purple ending.

Quantum Break- A Cinematic experience that is based on YOUR favorite edgy television shows such as: Rescue Me, The Shield, The Closer, Breaking Bad, Torchwood, Sopranos, The Wire, Oz, Game of Edgy, Dexter, Mad Men, Sons of Edgy, Justified, The Walking Dead, Spartacus, Grimm, 24, Orange is the New Edgy, Heroes, Supernatural, CSI: SVU, and many more. Itís what happens when game developers say ďFuck it, weíre not going to make a game. Letís just make a movie, make it about the villain and everyone will eat it up.Ē Not to be confused with the show, Quantum Leap which is a lot better.

Assassinís Creed (Whatever Number): People expect French so weíre getting French. Since there wonít be any Americans, it would be safe to assume that there will be a great deal of effort put into the games production. But that wonít change the fact that people are tired of it. The sun is still in the sky and it is still on the verge of exploding and burning the planet to a crisp. There are also those weird aliens around. Or maybe they will just brush off that little story under the rug and pretend it never existed.

Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Edge- I know absolutely nothing about Metal Gear Solid. But going by the trailer it seems that itís obviously going to be the ultra-dark, Ultra-violent chapter of the series. With TONS of TORTURE! Why? BECAUSE IT MAKES EVERYTHING DEEP! They should of just called it Metal Gear Solid 5: Abu Ghraib Edition, starring Edgy Snake: A FALLEN LEGEND. Going by the definition of Phantom Pain, fans should probably expect everyone to be missing limbs in one way or another.

Witcher 3: Wild Hunt- If there is one thing cdprojekt is good at, itís making games. Unfortunately theyíre not good at using real numbers that are used for properly sequencing items which is evident by their changing of the game logo. Either way, Geralt is off again trying to find his boring girlfriend. There is a new open world element to the game which will be a breath of fresh air compared to Witcher 2. Hopefully the combat is actually good this time and hopefully there actually are 36 endings that arenít freaking poorly illustrated slide shows like on witcher 2.

Final Fantasy 15- Itís a wonder how Final Fantasy lasted all the way to 15 considering how tremendously ass 13 was. There was absolutely no gameplay during E3 2014 aside from an on-rails cg sequence with no demonstration of gameplay mechanics. Maybe there will be something to go on this year aside from its poorly designed cast clad in black. The only good thing about it is that there is a male protagonist. Now we can only hope he is absolutely nothing like fucking Cloud and Lightning. We donít need 10 more years of fucking Lightning. Bravely Default is more of a Final Fantasy game than Final Fantasy.

Kingdom Hearts 3-The game that people have been asking for a long ass time. We can only hope that they donít fuck it up by shamelessly trying to plug in all of the awful spinoff games (The worst being birth by sleep). With a plethora of loved Disney properties out there (Minus Frozen because itís trash). This game is one of the few that shows great promise, but at the same time is in a precarious position.

The Edge Among Us Season 2- Bigby is back, wolfier and madder than ever. You can count on everyone being an asshole. Shit is going down in the run down home of the Fables as something mysterious and incredibly violent happens. This time you can count on the fact that no one will figure that the culprit is the boy who cried wolf on on the first episode. Wait, sorry, itís ďNOIRĒ not ďEdgyĒ Pardon my fucking French.

The Walking Edge Season 3- More zombies. More backstabbing. More of humanity being the real monsters of the world. yadayadayada.

The Edge of Us 2- See above. Except this time include more pandering to social justice warriors. More bad gameplay. More CINEMATIC EXPERIENCES.

Pokemon Ω- Life begins in the sea and ends on land. Also a reference to the bible, pretty cool. Either way, itís fucking Hoenn. Itís fucking pokemon. There are going to be trumpets blasting throughout the world. Winguls will darken the skies in a massive air invasion to herald the return of Gen 3. The only good starter pokemon is Torchic, if you pick anyone else then you are automatically a loser. Expect new mega evolutions. Donít forget that thereís going to be a champion thatís more entertaining than Iris and Diantha.

Bayonetta 2- I donít know anything about Bayonetta other than she is all legs. The enemies look cool and her hair is cool.

SMT x Fire Emblem- The rumored cross over between Shit Megami Tensei and Fire Emblem. Abandon all hope if the SMT cast isnít from Persona. We all know that Persona 3 saved SMT and we all know that Awakening saved Fire Emblem.

Hyrule Warriors- Hack and slash Zelda game. Everything that moves will get murderized by Link and his fancy ass scarf. Such a hell is the result of Link having incredibly shit taste in girls which earns him the fury of a hottie that is stacked but not quite stacked enough. Either way, there is a lesson to be learned.

Super Smash Brothers-It has Rosalina. Thatís enough to make it a great game. Ike sucks. 暁の女神 killed Fire Emblem, if you needed your mind refreshed.

Monster Hunter 4G-Supposed to come out in the west in 2015. Maybe something will be said, maybe not. Itís Capcoms only good game. Thank god for no underwater combat. Only bad thing is that Tigrex is back. What the fuck, Capcom, no one likes Tigrex.

Meiji era Phoenix Wright- A complete nightmare for those in charge of Americanizing (Localizing) the popular Phoenix Wright games. Set in Meiji Japan (America) Ryuunoske Naruhodo is on a crusade to wright wrongs in court, dispense justice, and restart the sengoku jidai. He makes Alliance characters look like a bunch of babies.

Unannounced Nintendo games- Itís up in the air. No telling what it will be. People say a main series Zelda, Star Fox, FZero, Metroid, Mario Sunshine 2, Kirby, something new, whatever.

Final Fantasy 15 and Kingdom Hearts 3 won't be at E3. It's ogre for Sony.

I really never got into the Witcher. It was a very middle of the road RPG to me, with both games having pretty terrible gameplay in different spots and relatively bland worldbuilding. I always hear people praising it but I have no idea why.

I loved everything about it with only somewhat disliking the combat in both titles (which they sorted for free with Witcher 2 randomly ). The Witcher 2 just made me a huge fan of everything Witcher honestly though since the first game i was not close to being as invested. Poland and CD Projekt RED take great pride of the series in general from its books (which are quite awesome ) to the games and to top it off are quite amazing folks.

You are the first person i can recall not being a fan of the game so you had me thinking about why i enjoyed it so much which was fun.. That and seeing the trailer for Witcher 3 makes me want to play Witcher 2 again .

Go for it Arashi's pride is in need of healing also The Real Real E3 2014 Thread needs to be a thing.

Overall i expect to see a lot of amazing titles this year unlike the previous ones (although i expected a amazing one last year for Nintendo which was not the case). Usually the first E3 after a console is launched brings all sorts of goodies .

I really never got into the Witcher. It was a very middle of the road RPG to me, with both games having pretty terrible gameplay in different spots and relatively bland worldbuilding. I always hear people praising it but I have no idea why.

I played the first one a little bit. It was kind of fun, but I never finished it. Reminded me of a linear Elder Scrolls: Oblivion.

The sun is still in the sky and it is still on the verge of exploding and burning the planet to a crisp. There are also those weird aliens around. Or maybe they will just brush off that little story under the rug and pretend it never existed.

Replaying the series now and I confirm this: Another apocalypse won't happen for like a million years from now so nothing to worry about. And the aliens are really super powered humans with funny hats. And they're native to Earth! And they're not going anywhere. Sites like AC: Initiates which continue the modern story outside of the games confirm this.

The series is really more fun when you don't consider it a historic simulator, even though it's advertised as such.

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Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Edge- I know absolutely nothing about Metal Gear Solid. But going by the trailer it seems that itís obviously going to be the ultra-dark, Ultra-violent chapter of the series. With TONS of TORTURE! Why? BECAUSE IT MAKES EVERYTHING DEEP! They should of just called it Metal Gear Solid 5: Abu Ghraib Edition, starring Edgy Snake: A FALLEN LEGEND. Going by the definition of Phantom Pain, fans should probably expect everyone to be missing limbs in one way or another.