This has tormented me for four years. In 2015 my mother in law who is demand and controlling, started to lie about parents degrading my parents as bad grandparents.

I said I wouldn’t let her tear apart my family and speak negatively about family.

My husband and I had to set a boundary to allow only my mother in law supervised visitation with our kids after she scared our daughter telling my seven-year-old that she was suing her mother for her grandparent’s time.

My daughter feared for weeks that I would be arrested. I told my parents that a huge problem arose and that when they babysit, they were not to take my kids to my mother-in-law‘s. My father, who was always very resentful towards me and actually broke my arm at age 8, did exactly what we asked him not to do. My parents then lost the job to babysit my kids as they willfully challenged my husband and my boundaries.

My mother-in-law, at some point that season, told my dad it was all my fault because I demanded from her my rightful inheritance to her property – which was an absolute lie and attack on my character. My dad then said as a result of my demand, I should go to hell, and he disinherited me.

My dad then died of a massive heart attack within months, and nothing was settled. I found out two years ago that as a result, my mother has disinherited me because of this. When I talk to her, she mocked me when I said I was Entitled to dignity and respect to speak the truth. She said I sound like a prisoner from a TV show demanding respect. I honestly cannot longer stand her!

I want nothing to do with her – I want her to have nothing to do with my kids – I can’t go back for own my well-being. Please give me your insights if any Of this makes sense and what would you do. I want to move forward.

First of all, I would try to look at your mother with some compassion.

She would be in pain, having lost your dad. Sometimes people project these things on to the people closest to them without really meaning to and redirect the pain and turn into something else.

So in this instance she’s angry with you but your also angry with them which stems from your childhood, so I’m going to advise you to put some distance between you for a time and heal.

When I came to faith in Jesus Christ he took me on a healing journey and healed me from within so I was able to learn real love and forgiveness which no counselor had ever been able to achieve with me because I to had suffered trauma within my life so if you haven’t already sought our lord and get to know him and he can open your heart so that you can heal and forgive your parents.

If you can go back into your earliest memory and write about it, allow it to trigger the pain in you, but don’t block it out. As hard as it is really feels everything until it passes on its own. I’ve had to do this with a lot of stuff but was led by our Holy Spirit, and she showed me what was in me, etc., and God helped me to forgive the people from my past, and nobody has any right to tell you your go to hell.

Repentance is the answer to that, and nobody is exempt from God’s love. He loves us all unconditionally, but we have to seek him with all our hearts. He won’t force himself on us, and Jesus is the only way to the father.

As for your mother if you do seek to heal your past and this triggers some feelings within you maybe writing her a letter or something to see if you can heal bridges but don’t let pride stand in your way and if she’s good to your kids don’t use them as a pawn.

How does your husband feel about you supervising his mother’s contact? Was she a good mother to him? Could you not compromise or something and maybe try to heal the rift there. All this fighting can’t be good for anyone.

It just takes one person to open up about what they’re really feeling inside because we can become consumed with anger, but that’s just a trigger; the wound is much deeper, and that’s what’s really going on people are hurt.

Look for a way to heal yourself and this rift, and if you can’t, then peacefully distance yourself from them with love so that your not constantly arguing as nothing ever gets solved in anger and pride prevents us from really speaking up.

Thank you for your response. Many things to think about. Some steps had been taken, as you mentioned.

Our priest said my mother in law is poison, and if she won’t respect boundaries to cut her out completely from killing like poison my immediate family. My husband is in agreement after her unbelievable actions.

In 2017 my mother in law stopped at my mother’s house and was trying to get my daughter in her car to leave with her. One of several times, she has tried to do this. When I arrived, my mother in law began swearing at me and yelled at me to PUNCH her, saying she wanted me to go to jail. This was in front of my mother, daughter, and neighbors.

So how can my mom, after that – witnessing the true identity of my mother in law- disinherit me? Isn’t family to support a family? Our religion preaches foregive but clarifies you don’t have to return to the same relationship or allow yourself to be harmed. My mom said when my dad was yelling at me that I demanded her land that she knew this was a lie!

I asked why she didn’t speak up for the truth. Her only reply- “I did what I thought was right.” Then my dad said because I demand an inheritance, he disinherits me – he then died, and my mom honors his word stating she knew it was based on a lie. I can find no logic or peace.

Well, you’re religious, so you have faith in God and catholic, I presume as you mentioned priest. I use to be Catholic, they were so good to me, but I had to leave there church.

No priest can save you, and it’s God I love with all my heart, and he, as I started to really read the bible, including the Old Testament really opened my eyes up to it being a false religion and the way this pope has been having really confirmed it.

The contradictions are endless, but the most alarming one is idol worshipping Deuteronomy 4:15, so I’m gonna tell you to pray to God and seek Jesus with all your heart. Get to know him as it’s a personal relationship with him who is at this time, God’s only priest until Jesus comes back and appoints others. After his second coming. It’s not a role we take on ourselves. Anyway!

Your priest shouldn’t be, and I’m sorry to say this but adding fuel to the fire. I understand that your mother in law behavior has been unacceptable. Maybe there’s a bigger underlying reason for it, and it’s because she’s frustrated and unable to express how she truly feels about whatever it is that’s upsetting her that she’s acting in this way.

Now that’s not to excuse her behavior. It’s not right on any level, but maybe a deeper look into why might help heal this rift and because God is merciful to us and forgives us over and over again (no priest should be doing this).

He, in turn, wants us to show this love to others so really try to look deeper into it, and maybe that’s what your mum has seen and it would seem as if this is a family torn apart by a lack of communication and if your unable to talk about things peacefully then perhaps writing letters and if they still refuse to meet you in the middle then cut contact.

It’s for your own good and the good of your family and be at peace with being disinherited. We take nothing with us when we die, so is it worth losing sleepover. I pray you to find God and peace from within. He can help you, so seek him. God bless you.

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