Green Party candidate Pauline Richards, NOP candidate Edwin Laryea, Conservative candidate Steve Strauss and Liberal candidate AndrewTelegdi open up the debate
in the Student Life Center for the upcoming federal election on June 28.
'f
Christine Loureiro
IMPRINT STAFF

OnJune 14, University of Waterloo
and WJJ.frid Laurier University students filled the SLC GreatHallhoping
to become better informed about and
possibly persuaded to vote for one of
the people in the group that sat before
them, all contenders for the KitchenerWaterloo parliamentary seat in the
House of Commons
In their efforts to attract attention
to both the upcoming federal election
on June 28 and to the issues concerningstudents and post-secondary education, the Federation ofStudents organized an all-candidates debate in
tandem with the WLU Students'
Union and the Graduate Student Associat1'on.
Students tuned in to hear incumbent Andrew Telegdi of the Liberal
Party, Steve Strauss of the newlyminted Conservative Party ofCanada,
EdwinLaryeaoftheNew Democratic
PartyandPaulineRichardsoftheGreen
Party offer a taste of their platforms
and attend to the questions posed by
panelists and audience members.
The event, billed as an opportunity

for local media and students from
both universities to question candidates primarily on issues concerning
post-secondary education, often
strayed from the intended subject
matter. Students used the opportunity to question the candidates on the
broad range ofissues thatmake up the
current Canadian political landscape,
from same-sex marriage to abortion,
intellectual property rights and file sharingvia the Intemet,immigration, proportional representation and war in

Iraq.
Enthusiastic to participate, students began to form a question line
that wound around the Great Hall
even before questions from the media
panel began.
Telegdi's comments served to
highlight the Liberal track record of
enabling accessible and affordable
post-secondary education. The liberals, said Telegdi, have establishededucation funds for low-income families,
improved access to studentlqans and
increased funding for resea!:ch and
development, while Telegdi himself
helped establish the Liberal caucus
task force on post-secondary education.

However, the Member of Parliament failed to mention any new liberal party initiatives, as noted by Jeff
Henry, Feds vice-president education.
''They didn't have anything new
for us," said Henry. "It was disappointing not to see education as the
top priority."
"Our party will not be able to help
you graduate debt free," said Conservative candidate Strauss, who was
once accepted to UW's engineering
program but was unable to attend
because offinancial constraints.
But, he continued, his party believes that the best way to eliminate
debt is to cut taxes so that businesses
cangenerate more jobs; the Conservatives pledge to create new grants for
first-year, low-income students and
ensure that loans are repaid on an
income-contingent basis.
"We're not going to give you a free
education," said Strauss. ''We want to
inspire you to invest in your education."
NDPcandidateLaryeawaseagerto
note thathis partyreceivedanA-grade
from the Canadian Federation ofStudents on their education policies.
''Education is an equalizer," said

Laryea. TheNDP,hecontinued, would
cut tuition by 10 per cent and then
freeze it.
"[Having a] job is taxing, it interferes with studying," said Laryea, in
response to the Conservative stance.
Using Germany's freepost-secondary
education as an example, Laryea said
''Wehavethecapacity,it's been proven
by other countries and we, the NDP,
are going to do that."
Richards' Green Party would like
to go a step beyond the NDP's proposal, and make post-secondary education free.
"Ifthe Swedes can do it, we can do
it," she said. Richard and her party
would like to enable what she called
the most talented work force in the
world.
The Green Party would also work
with their provincial Ontario chapter
to build a program which, before free
tuition could be implemented, the
cost of attending a post-secondary
education would be equal to what a
student would eamin a summer job,
Richards continued. Herpartywould
also allow students to do public service in lieu ofloan repayment.
Some of the more contentious

questions were posed by students interested in the candidates' views on
same-sex marriage and abortion.
Notable was the reception to
Strauss' views on gay marriage and
abortion. In response to a question
from the floor, the pilot and father of
two said that, if elected, he could not
promise to vote in favour ofgay marriage and abortion, should that debate
come to the House of Commons, a
view that was met with a mix of jeers
and applause.
"[Same-sex marriage] is a complex
socialissue," said Strauss, ''Marriage is
not defined and a vote is required to do
so in the House of Commons by
elected officials."
Telegdi,Laryeaand Richards spititedly affirmed they would defend
same-sex marriage in the House of
Commons as well as uphold the current legality of abortion.
In his response, T elegdi made an
especially clear effort to distance himselffrom whathe called the "Christian
right," citing the limitation ofliberties
he believed to go alongwith opposing
gaymartiageandcurrentabortionlaws.

'NJfut\6~7~':~==~~hk&1:,ihp'';:''h'''k'''''''H''
69. To pee one's pants
70. Very quickly
Down

"I'd make Vancouver equal to
Toronto."

"Turning Canada into a party
wonderland."

David Leong

Eugene Chan

2B biotech

3B arts non-major

1. Actress Cuthbert is the girl next
door
2. Examine carefully
3. A creative person
4. A jumbled hymn produces a less
than avemge tide
5. A collector's item

_IIPI_II_II_II_ _

• • -.E

48. Fungus found on rocks and trees
4C). Groups ofaircraft
SO. Ftrst-bom child
52. An attempt to inake a point, be it
about Chaucer or World War I
53. Demands
55. Tiny amounts
58. Concentratewith every effort
59.Atangerineandgrapefruithybrid
60. The makers of 60 minutes and
Survivor
61. Food scrap
62. Common green froienvegeta.ble

Julllble the.: Baldwin BPIIhePI
Unscramble the mixed-up letters, one letter to each square.

UMaldng decisions without a
crystal ball."
4A computer science

"Taldng a,strong international stand on politics not being influenced by
American policies."

GusKats

Swastik Patil

4A computer science

4A computer engineering

Eric Lam

Each unscrambled word is
the title of a movie starring
one of the Baldwin brothers:
Alex, William, Slephen or
Daniel.
CLEAIM

Then take the letters in
shaded squares to form the
answer to the jjnaf Baldwin
brother-re/atea question.
Final Question:
k

personal assistants."

"Letting ....!tlarasget
married."

Sukirtha Tharmalingan

Rocio Morales

2B science/business

visiting students for GLOW &
RAINBOW

Mimi Sivongsay
2B science/business

Kelvin Lee
2B sciencelbusiness

This 2003 movie earned
a Baldwin brother an
oscar nomination for actor in a supporting role:
'\

Tear In lOy baer
Falll Iilitalillp08 On-C181111 ~
10CIII. - IIlla 5

Universitie~ and Colleges

Researchers at York University have discovered a correlation between older people
who spea.kmore than one language and superior cognitive abilities. According to a York
psychology professor, the older bilingual subjects excelled on tests of"fluid intelligence" that which enables a person to focus their
attention and respond to varying reiated tasks.
The findings, which correspond with recent
research conducted on bilingual children, suggest that speaking another language fluendy
·may help senior citizens stave offthe threat of
Alzheimer's disease and similar conditions.
Here are some ofthe highlights from the
26th annual Guelph Sexuality Conference,
" which ran this past week at University of
Guelph: a workshop outlining the therapeutic .
applications of sex toys for the sexually stagnant;aseminarad~singhowstudentswho

are both Muslim and queer reconcile between
·the tWQidentities; and a lecture on the political
implications of drag queen and transvestite
cultures by U of G theatre professor and
esteelnt!d playwrightSkyG.i1hert;,wh,ot:Udthe
msthalfofthelecrureashim.<;dfandthe~

half as his glamorous drag alter-ego, Jane.

Nick Fergusi
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Members of the UW community strutted their
stuff at the second annual Ulympics event last
week in honour of oUr school's phenomenally
successful Keystone Campaign. UW staff, faculty members and retirees were all present on
Wednesday, June 9 to help celebrate as many
showed their school pride bywearinggold (a UW
colour, naturally).
The activities commenced at 11 :30 a.m. with
a parade along Ring Road leading to the Student
life Centre (the original destination by the Columbia Icefield was halted by rain), where the
participants passed torches backand fcirthas they

dent DaveJohnston opened the games by lighting gold flames with the assistance of Matt
Mains, a UW student who will compete for his
place on the Canadian Olympic swim team next
month.
The gamut of activities included cycling, archery, javelin, ping-pong and sailing. The theme
was the "try" athlon, a marathon that combined
fillingupwater buckets, tricycleridingand a threelegged race. Prizes were awaroed all day long, not
to mention the grand prize of a free ticket on
Northwest Airlines to anywhere in North

America.

According to Shelley Rudd, a member of the
. annual events working group, the event fulfilled
its goals of raising money and advertising the
need for the Keystone Campaign. "The event
ran.
was to raise awareness ofthe campaign, which is
The opening ceremonies included a "Hoops
a very important UW endea~our. It was not a
and Ribbons Dance," where gymnasts performed to the music from the film Chariots qf fundraiser, everything~s free ofcharge. It was
Fire. A particular highlight came when UW presi": just a really. fun way of spreading the word and

A global survey conducted by Mercer
everybody had a great time, especially the organHuman Resource Consulting reports that
izers," she said \vith a laugh.
Canadian cities are among the best in the
'This yearrnarlred the second year of festivities
world, with Calgary claiming the number one
in honour of the Keystone Campaign, which
spot. ~algarynabbed top honourswithascore
was launched in 2002. Last year's celebration,
of121 points, just beating out the number two
which had a beach theme, was such a well~
city ofHonolulu. Ottawa tied fort:httd, Monorganized blast that it won a silvef award from
treal and Vancouver tied for ninth and Tothe Canadian Council for the Advancement of
ronto ranked 15th. The scores are based on
Education, a counciJ that awards accolades to
such factors as the quality and availability of
schools across the country.
medical tare, disease rates, cleanliness ofwater
The Keystone Campaign was established to
and the efficiency ofsewage syStems.
r;Use money for Campaign Waterloo, which is
seekinga total of$260 million by 2007, when the
International
University ofWaterloo celebrates its 50th birthday. Donations to Keystone mosdy go towards.
•
This year's Glastonbury Festival in the
student aid, funding academic programs and
tJ.K
will feature stand-up urinals forwomen.
funding campus buildings and supplies. Of the
Two
sets of the pink-coloured urinals have.
$4.5 million it plans to bring to the birthday
been
installed around the main _stage and
bonanza next year, UW has so far raised $3.89 .
were
unveiled
at a ribbon-cutting ceremony
million-due in no small part to the people who
on
Wednesday.
Women will be assigned an
helped comm~orate the Ulympics this year.
anatomically shaped funnel before using a
urinal and "concierge" attendants will protect
their privacy. A spokesman for Glastonbury
said that the urinals were brought in to allow
women as manyplaces to pee as men have.
"If,s equality for women, basically," he said.
•

Huw Lobb has become the first human
being to emerge victorious atBritain'sannual
«man vs. horse" marathon. .For the past ~4
years,menhaveracedagainsthorsesthrough
a 35-kilometre labyrinth of countryside and
moorland, but last Saturday marked man's
first-evertriumph;iobb,a~-year-oldrunner,
finished the race in just over two hours and
· receivedawinner'schequeof$45,500.Bookies
musthavetakenahit,as the odds againstman
de!eating horse this yearwere 16-1.

mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

4

Imppint n

Real issues, but
a' fake debate

They-grow up so fast . • •

graduate students.
After 30 years, the WaterlooManriheim program has involved as
manyas 629 students who have spent
a year or more studying abroad in
Germany and Canada.

Bueford R. Pusser
SPECIAl TO IMPRINT

Debaters take to
in mock debate

r~le

FRIDAY,JUNE 18,2004

playing-

Heads will spin and invective will
fly when the UW Debating Society
hosts a mock candidates debate on
Tuesday, June 22 in the SLC Great
Hall
qub members will be playing the
roles of'the five federal party leaders,
withUW Debate Society president
Michael Currie as Paul Martin (Liberal), Jason Todoroff as Stephen
Harper (Conservative), Chris
Ferguson as Jack LaYton (NDP),
Hsiao-Chien Lin as Gilles Duceppe
(Bloc Quebecois) and Sean McKenna
as Jim Wilson (Green).
''We hope this event will be witty,
fiery and at least as full of slanderous
accusations as the real campaign has
been," said Currie.
The "candidates" will be addressingissues ofnationalinterest,_such as
health care, education, the economy,
theenvironment3gd~srolein

the world. Justlike the real leadership
debates, which aired this past week on
TV, each participant will respond to
questions provided by a panel, and
will then be given time for open debate.
The event begins at noon and will
run for about an hour and a half.
Students are encouraged to come prepared with questions of their own.

Waterloo-Mannheim program
produces book
Thirtyyears ofscholarlycollaboration between the Univ¢rsity of
Mannheim in Germany and the University ofW'aterloo has been marked
with the printing of a "festschrift," a
book commemorating a wealth of
academicreselirchandaPrievement.
The book is entitled ClllhlraJUnk:
Kanada - Deldsehland, and it contains
a list of more than 100 titles of masters' research papers, theses and PhD
dissertations produced by exchange

Aboriginal role model gives
speech
The Aboriginal Students' Associations at UW and the UniverSity of
Guelph are welcoming Jennifer
Podemski,Aboriginal Gemiciaward~
winningaCttess,director,produCerand
youth entrepreneur, to address the
local community on Monday, June
21. Her presentation will focus on
youth empoweiment and aboriginal
stereotypes in the media.
Recendy, Podemskihas appeared
in such TV shows as Degra.rsi: The

Next Generation, Eleventh Hour,
Riverdale, This is Wonderltmd, and Zoe
Busiee Wild Card. She is the co-creator
.and producer ofMoccasin Fkltrand The
Seventh Generation, and she also

CHRISTINE BAKER

Alook at Wednesday's convocation, which ltOnOured students in the fields of applied health
studies, environmental studies and independent studies. Congrats to 2004's spring grads.

UW teams with IBM for business venture
an

founded the production company,
Mark Stratford
Copeland. "We hav:¢ alumni team
The UW Next Generation library
Big Soul Productions.
IMPRINT STAFF
atffiMrightnowofl 3 people that are
proiect aims to beef up our libraries
'Podemskiwillgiveakeynote speech
helping us; ffiM's been very support- ' and make them more technologically
and will also be screening the short
UW's Office of Development and, ive of this proposal."
' a d v a n c e d . The bulk of the money
film, Moccasin Flats. This event cel- AlumniAffairs (ODAA) launched the
would be used toreconsttucttheDavis
ebrates NationalAboriginalDay, and
UWAlumni@IBM Campaign last
u
,"
'
•'
,Centre library, including individual
will begirt at 7 p.m. in MaCKirdy Hall ' 'rooath. ,The campaign,tuget&" U\W:s'i;,,~*"I_.lli
"ll"<10~\WI&easWith~~. . .
atSt. Paul's College. Admission is free
alumni who are now employed by
at IBM we have an and wireless study rooms for group
and all are welcome.
ffiM, a company that prides itself on
'"
workand theRBCInformation Combeing the largest all-time employer of
opportunity to
mons, complete with m.ultimedia
UW gives medal to RIM
. co-op students and graduates. ~odate,
leave a tremendous' workstations.Otherptospectivefeaexecutive
ffiM has employed approxtmately
, t u r e s include e-learning labs and a
10,500 post-secondary affiliates. ,,~
legacy for the
laptop lending program.
Waterloo graduateDavid Yach,a viceThe campaign works like this: ~or
University of
UWhas raised $3,000 in this campresident ofResearch In Motion, will
paign so far, which means $9,000 in
every dollar donated to the c a m p a l g l l , '
receive the 2004J .W. Graharil Medal
by anffiMemployee,ffiM will match
Waterloo. "
ffiM credits. The campaign has along
in Computing and Innovation dur- . itwitha$3equipmentcredit,goodfor
-John Wetmore
waytogo,buttheUWAlumni@mM
ing spring convocation formathemat- $3 offfiMelectronic goods. The uniUWAlumni@IBM
volunteer team is hard at work trying
ics on Saturday, June 19. Yach is the
versity will pool all those credits tohonourary chair
to recruit past UW-ers to give as much
tenth ,recipient of this prestigious
gether towards UW's Next Genera~
as possibleandhelpimprove the study
award, which honours mathematics
tion library. The goal is to raise $1.5
quarters of future graduates. "As
graduates who have made significant
million in equipment credits over the
To sweeten the pot, alumni donaalumni working at ffiM, we have an
conttibutions to UW and Canada's
next five years.
tions will also be used to fund three
opportunity to leave a tremendous
computer industry.
The idea was bom out of convernew student awards, which include
legacy for the UniversityofWaterloo,"
As part of the honour, Yach will
sation with ffiM, and according to
schoJarshipsforincomingandremmsaid
John
WetmOJ;e,
,a
present the Graham Medal Seminar Bob Copeland, director of Annual
ing students.
UWAlumni@mM honourary chair
todayin a talk, discussinghowtypes of Giving and Special Programs, it just, _ Callers with the ODAA are pitchand UW math grad, class of 1973.
computerefficienciesiulvechangedin made sense to start such an initiative. ing the idea to UW grads at ffiM,
More information on the
the past 20 years and how the skills of givenffiM'shistoryofrecruitingstustUrlngwith a donation plan of$30
UWAlumni@mMcampaigncan be
past soft:wate developers can still be' dents fresh out of t:heiJ.studies. "We
per month for five years. Standard
found by logging on to
applied today. The talk will take place
have over 700 alumni at ffiM, and
asks areforalump sum of$250 to 300
http://ciunpaign.uwaterloo.ca/ibm.
at 1:30 p.m. in Davis Centre, room
obviouslywe'rettyingto reach as many
per year, and the alumni are aske(J to
1302.
as possible to contribute," said
come on board fora three-year gift.
mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

This way it is less likely that parties
concerned with the environmentwill
lose seats because of vote splitting.
(The Green Party, by the way, supin such a way that it impedes students
ports electoral reform.)
in the least possible way." This procMuch of the world practises p~颅
ess would have to be followed for
portionalrepresentation (PR). In PR,
every event.
people vote not for a regional candiThis change comes as insurance
date but for an entire party. Parties
companies are accepting less and less
create lists of MPs. Were Canada to
According to Elections Canada, just
risk. ''The insurance policy change has
have such a system, Parliamentwould
61.2 per centotCanadians bothered
been long time coming. It would have
to vote in the 2000 elections. Voting
have Liberal, Conservative and other
happened sooner or later," said Wroe.
has become increasingly easier, and
MPs in proportion to the per cent of
Feds is looking into switching insurCanadians voting for it. Th1s way,
yet tumout has remained steady or
ance companies to remedy this situamost votes would be represented but
even declined. Some activist groups
tion, but finding an insurance comno MPwould be coming from just the
blame the low tumout on the system
panywillingtoinsureastudentsociety
City of Waterloo. This is a defect of
we use for elections. So what do other
is notoriously difficult. Anderson
PR One solution called ''MixedMemcountries use to electParliaments,and
commented, "A lot of time, universiher Voting" (yes, it's a weird name)
are they really better?
ties get lumped together as a class of
Most parts of the former British . involves electing some MPs byPRand
risk. Right now we're looking at not
empire, including Canada, the U.S.,
some by district. Germany, Italy and a
only changing insurance companies,
and India use "First-pass-the-post"
few other countries use this system.
but working with the insurance comOf course, there is more to our
system. (This name sounds like cricket
pany that we have, and get an underParliament than just how MPs are
howappropriateQ
The
country
is
writerto come in and just seeifwecan
elected. We have two dominant pardivided into di~tricts or ridings electgetre-evaluated.
ties at the centre. Wehavefairlyserene
ing one MP each. This system has the
''The occurrence ofincidences repolitical dialog. Parliamentary debates
advantage
of1inkirigMPs
with
a
place
ported during-Feds-rdated events in
are relatively civilized. Perhaps this is
and a group of voters. However, it
the past is low. It is out belief that,
why the tumout is falling!
has
atleastthree
disadvantages:
many
compared to other similar instituContrast our system with the Istions, our risk may be lower. Al- . votes are wasted, two parties dominate politics, and winners sometimes
raelidemocracy-analtogetherdifferthough this will not change the
ent extreme. Although a former Brithave less than SOper cent of the votes
immediate future, a goal of ours is
ish colony like Canada, Israel elects
due to vote splitting. A minor tweak
to have our risk reassessed,"
on this system is practised in parts of . MPs by simple party lists. FurtheraddedWroe.
more, no partyihere has ever received
theformerFrenchempire. Thesecoun. This isn't just a problem at
tries have a ruttoffbetween the most
more than 40 per cent of the vote.,
UW: wUversity student sOcieties
popular candidates. This way, the UsuaIly,thereareoverl0smallparrles
all!lCro$$ theoounttyarefulding
(which hate each other's guts) formwinner
always has more than 50 per
that their insurance companies
cent ofthe vote.
. . ~nolooge.rwillingtoCQVstbe
'petfuips the mOst intereStingaprisk ofalcohol.
rity guards on duty ready to remove
proach
to vo~ - -at least to my
Wroepointedout, "Asapast
MPs.
mathiemind-is called "preference
society president. I know this
While all Israeli votes count, the
voting." Consider Malta and Ireland:
change will be a hindrance not
arrangementis clearly not ideal While
voters in these countries rank the canonly to societies, but also to the
we Canadians might be wasting votes
didates from first to last. This way,
affiliated clubs." _
in elections, at least the MPs themsupporters of the Green Party can
EngSoc B President Josh
selves don't waste their time posturrankGreen candidates first and then
Levitl1:commented, ''This coming when they get their seats. Or at
give second and subsequent ranks to
pletely hit me by surprise...in
least. we hope they won't.
candidates from big parties. A comterms of our society, it would .
puterthencalculateswhoactuallywins
probably affect two to three
sgutfraind@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
eliminating candidates one by one.
events a term, ge!lerally well attended." SciSoc PresidentAmie
Vualsosaid, ''Itwasn'tfunhaving to break the news to clubs
Continued from cover
Henry was pleased with the tum.who weren't aware ofthiS policy.
Groups such as PhysClup hold
out and the candidates, noting that
they' stayed over an hour longer than
eventsliketheBrickBrewerytour In his response, Telegdi made a clear
that have become a tradition for
effort to distance himself from "the
scheduled.
Christian right," citing the limitation
''It was phenomenal thattheywere
them. It's a shame that students
who are legally allowed to drink ofliberties he believes are imposed by here for two hours," he said.
."But." he noted, "we didn't hear
have to abandon these traditions
opposing gay marriage and abortion.
for reasons beyond their conTelegdiargued that suchissues should
enoughabourspecifics.Itisevenmore
troL"
be decided by courts, stating, "Are you important [for students] to followgoing to leave it to the elected and
upon that and do their own research."
mdavenport@impruwaterloo.ca
lobby groups or the Christian right
like in the U.S.?"
cloureiro@iniprint.uwaterloo.ca

BeginningonJuly1,Fedswillno
longer be insured to hold events
at licensed off-campus establishments. The change in policy affects the Arts Student Union, the
Math, Science and Engineering
Societies and every other group
'. or club under Feds.
The impact of this policy
change cannot be understated.
"Licensed" not only applies to
, ~~yestab~tthat
. serVes altohol, including bowling alleys, pool halls and dining
rooms. Even if no drinking is
planned to be subsidized by the
student society holding the event.
the eventcannotbe held at an offcampus establishmentthatserves
alcohol without the insurance.
Groups pot under the Feds
umbrella, such as the Faculty of
Science Foundation or the Engineering Grad Ball Committee, are not affected by this
change; the Feds' insurance
is separate from the insurance for the University of
Waterloo. Oubs can still use
off-campusvenuesthatdo
notservealcoho1,ortheoncampus establishments
and Gftd House.
Thereisaprocessinplace
for procuring insurance for
a single event. which will
allow the club to hold an
event off-campus: nJ.s requires some paperwork for
. the host club.
Feds President Becky
Wroe explained that. ''The
event approval form exi,.sts
to assess events which Feds
groups would like to hold
off-campus. The approval
ofaneventisdependenton
many factors. Should the.
event be approved, the
groupwouldbe able to pur- .
. chase event insurance for
that single event."
Feds VP IntemalJohn
Anderson elaborated,
"We're trying to do everythingwe have to do, as faras
meeting our requirements
for liability and risk management. and trying to do it

fiE. MATTEa

~.=~~

bi

Debate: student issues expressed

Correction

Teach Ellglish
Overseas

tl In the June 4 issue of
Imprint it was reported that
CS students developed the
new JobMine system in

three years.

The article

should have read that
JobMine took eight years to
complete, with 1ST and
CECS spearheading the

efforts for the last four.
Students who worked on
the project were employed
through the co-op program.

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StudentllieCentre 1116
UniversityofWaterloo
Waterloo. ON N2L.3Gl
t

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Before you fire up. the grill. • •

._l6
So I recendy had occasion to throw a
b.irthda.y celebration. While I enjoy
throwinga good party just like everyone • • I was ~ooking to mjnjmize
the~tofworkandmoneyspent

in t:heeibtt. There are so many things
to consider - food, guests, drinks,
location. etc. When I realized that I
was lookfugataguestlist ofarbund 20
people and indoor seating availability
of around half of that, it hit me barbecue- the perfect summer celebration. It's comparatively cheap,
quickandeasyandpeoplewouldn'tbe
cram.med into my house. And besides, you just throw some food on

the barbecue, sorncdrinksinthe fridge
and let the good titxies roll - what
could possibly go wrong? .
One weeklUltil party: check the
loogtange forecast. Theyarecallingfor
16 degrees andsunny. Nice.;,....couJdn't
ask for a better day. I think about
expanding the guest list to include a
few friends that I haven't seen in a
while. You can?thave too many good
friends ata barbecue, right? I amreally
looking forward to thisl
Five days until party: Wow, everyone that I am inviting can come ~
should be a full-house so to speak!
Forecastoowsays20andpardycloudy.
Fine with me - I'll just make sure to
haVe more ice on hand. Should start
thinking about food andtnake a shopping list.
Three days until party: Hnurun.
Forecast now calling for 25 degrees
andrala. Okay - I now have over20
people corning to my house and I
realize that should everyone have to

move inside, I a) don't have enough
places for people to sit and b) don't
have air conditioning•. Look on the
Internet to teadup 00. un-inviting
guests to a party.
Day before.pa.rty; Hit thegtocery
stote-iftheWeath!ris pgto suck.
the foodtnUStrock:.lhaVedeclded 00

hamburgers. hot d<>gS and sausages.
I don't want any wimpy wicin.er type
hotdogs anddecldeon some bigguns
that I have never seen before. They
should mote than do the trick.
PartydaiT&ebig~yhas arrived
- and it's muggy as hell. The latest
weather update has it hitting 29 degrees with thunderStorms. Did I
mention that I dori't,have air conditioning? Just checking.
Everyone shows up and my house
is now £illed to capacity. Everyone
seems to be having a good time and
the snacks-veggie tray and chipsare disappearing. Time tum on the
barbecue and get things c;ooking. Due

to

to the immjneqt storm, the barbecue
is moved into the garage for the fes-

Food is ready! Everyone helps
themselves to some juicygrilledhatntivities. t..f~basjraciouslyagreed burgers, some plutnp sausages and
tocookand dwfreesmeuptomingle . some Plastic c~ed hotdogs. YUp.
• .amongStmysweatifmguests. When I You heard me right. Tums outtbOse
eXcuse
to ~ the faciti.ties. I
big boys ate individuaIlywrapptid in
noticethattnyhairisnothandJingthe
plastic - who knew? Not us! For
humidity well. At aU.
somereason,theplasticneitb.ernielted
Food is cooking and the crowd is
to the dogs Ot the grill and is relatively
growing resdess. I check on the
easy to :remove.
..' I.' ,
progress a few times and in theprocI tackle the embarrassing task of
ess,let in enough smoke from the
approaching guests with the news
gatageto setoffthefirealartn. NoJhthat if they ategoing to eat a hot dog,
ing sets the mood at a party like the they must peel the plastic otf first
smo~·~tectOt going om Fortuand fortUnately, they take it well. All
nately a'taUgUcst fans the detector the .hot dogs are eventually consumed.
for a moment and ~ crisis is over.
Oops:
Finally everyone leaves. I am exAs mycladputsthe last three hatn- hausted but pleased that everyone
burgers on the grill, I run -out of seems to have had a good time propane. Apparendy I have violated
despite the weather and food. Decide
thenutnberooeruleofbarbecue-fiJ1
that I am much better at attendmg
yourtank.Isayaquickthankyoutotb.e
parties than throwing them.
~gods that most of the food
, gotcOOfed:-'-lessonleamed.
editor@imprint.uweterloo.C8

mJllcl€

Opening .the door and sharing witb the world"
t

,

"

"

ber of the queer community. For
utnn. My name is Graham Barclay optimistic and hopeful to cynical and
always read was Aaron Cowan's
sarcastic at the drop ofahat.
those of you who ate not as familiat
"Undefeated" column. It was an
and I am a second year English literaOh, there is one other thing that with queer people and issues, I hope
ture major undergoing the trials and
oudet, allowing me to confront the
wiD have a large bearing on this col- ... tQ~hine some light on what it is like
partofmyselfwhichI nevenllowed
Utntl, which, is this: I'm not gay.
• ·h~t(: on the other side of the fence.
others to see.
Confused?:&> was I. It took me .. ·rlll.g<>ing to represent my "qrothInitially, what most amazed me
several ye~tounderstand my own
ersand sisters" as best as I am able
.was that Cowan could be so comOh ... ther~fis one
bisexuality
and
now
that
I'm
here
and
present to you my own take on
fortable with who he was as a perother
I'm glad I made the journey.
current events and issues regarding'
son, that he was willing to place
For the past year or so I've been
GLBT culture.
himself in front ofan entire univerhave a large bearing
in a homosexual relationship, but I
Por now, however, I'll leave off
sity, and proudly declate, "This is
on this column,
have experienced and enjoyed the
with a few words of wisdom which
who I am! Love me or hate me as you
otherfrideofthesexualityscale. This
s~ me down this path, leading
choosel"
this:
gives .r;ne a unique oudook on Jife
me to where I am now. My cement
Go figure. Two short yeatS was
"ot gay~
enough to take me from irnagihing .'
and love, as wellasmany othertbingsbQ~ has?'t changed much, but I've
in between but I'll save that for later . ;. opened the door.
.' what it must be like to be that perarticles.
"It is better to be hated for who
son, to actuallY being that personl
Ov"r the.course of my column, ... Y0\l:are; than to be loved for who
. , Since this my fitstarticle, I figure
it would probably be best to
tribulationS ~fwaterloo's co-op pr0.- · Ylltrytot()u(;honsomeofthemany .,.youare not." -Kurt Cobala
a little about myself and why I degram. I'm an acttve writer and poetin t.hing& I've learned on my journey.
gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo;ca
'cided to take over the gay issues col- . my free time, and I can flip from · both as a human, as well as a mem-

thing that will

On April 2 of this year. one of my
favorite rituals came to an end.
Every Friday, for almost two years
now; I'd walk through the SLC on
the way hack from the daily grind of
. classes, grab up a copy of the latest
Imprint, and retreat into the sanctity
of my little cement box. It was a
satisfying end to a week: close the
. (loor,'du.mp the books and flip to
the Opinion section.
Without fail, the first thing I

which is
I'm

is

tell you

"

-11IWatadoop--0I1
.

•

other pub~ or gwup until such time
as the material· bas beetl distt:ibub!:d in an
issue .0£ ~ or .biipritIt dedan:s theit
innmt pOt tp pubIi!Ih the matedal. The fi:dl
text of this agreement is aVllilable upon

bNptiRt is the official SU!deot ~ of
the U1liversity of Waterloo. 11: is an editodlilly independent newspapet ~lished by
Imprint PubIicatioUs, Waterloo. It cotpotation without share capital. lmptiNt is a member of the Onwio Comtmmity Newspaper
Association (~). .. , ' ,

Editotial ~ ~~be,~·

fur publication iJ\ ~atir ~:of bJJpmst.
liaJn'iNt may also ~ ·the, material
COIDD1elcia1Iy in any fOmlat. Or medium as
part of the newspapet~. Web._ or
any other product .dedved' &>an the newspaper. Those submittlog editmia1 ~
indudidg attides. Ietta:s, photos and gtaphics. ...at pat lmptiNt Bm publication rights
of theit submil:ll:d material, and as such,
asn:e not to subm[tthe. ~wo.rk to any

Agreement no. 40065122.

Nat staff meeting:
Monday, June 21
12:30 pm., SLC 1116

~,.

bNptiRt does

not guacmtee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advettisiog.
Marel:ial may not be published, at the discretion of lmptiItt, if that material is deesned to
be libelous or in contravention with 1mprials policies with respect to out code of
ethics._~"standatds. The fitst
person to go to the liNjriIt office to talk
"IVith the edito.t~ get$ a prize.

End Liberal corruption on June 28
The l.iberal way
Paul Martin has been busy repeating liberal
rhetoric on the nighdy news: onJune 28, choose
yout Canada. The Conservative party WiU provide sound fiscal and for~ign policy, sustainable.
health care, a strong military, the beginning of a
great democratic reform and the end of the
liberal tax-and-wastepolicy. The liberals, on the
other hand, will keep Canada in its current state:
a transcontinental dO,ormat run by Paul Martin
and a band of scandal-plagued flunkies.
Duringmore than a decade ofgovemance, the
orily significant Libera,lifl~~9wplishments liave
been bureaucratic overspending and political underachievement. The liberals claim there are no'
funds available for health car~, education or the
militarr. Theyclaitn that moderate Conservat;ive
tax' cuts and responsible economic policy are
unaffordable. Both of, thes.e statements may be
true because'the liberals have squandered,our
fedeta1resources. 'I:hiSyear, the liberals have spent
$18 billion on corporate sponsorship, $1 ,billion
on a useless gun registry and over $1 billion in
HumanResouteesDevelopmentCanada(HRDq
bureaucracy. Theaverage Canadian sees little to no
benefit from these programs.
As a centre~rightvoter, Paul Martin!s policies
have attracted my attention. Unfqrtunately, while
Libetal ideas are sometimes appealing, they are
almost always poorly executed. Consider how.
the liberals handled risirig tuition costs: rather
than providing more funding earmarked to re-

duce tuition, they created the Millennipm Scholarship Program.
, At first, the average critic might applaud the
liberals: everyone likes scholarships. Unfortu- ,_
nately, the Millennium Scholarship Program simplycreated cosdy bureaucratic processes requiring
new government staff and lengthy student applications.Furthermore, the scholarship is
a'\Varded tostudents who have spent a great deal
oftime volunteering for liberal-friendlyinstitutions rather than to top academics.
It is programs like
these that make the
cause of the so-called
"brain drain"obvious.
We are being flooded
with foreign-educated
skilled workers while
our local talent is being passed over for yming
liberal cronies. The
Conservatives will take
wasted funds from programs like the Millennium Scholarship and
give them direcdy to educational institutions.

our interests and tight alongside our allies- that
includes the"Ameritans. (In other news, three
terrorists died today in Afghanistan after they
were greeted with a warm, glowing Canadiari
smile. The cause of death is still unknown.) .
-.We need. a strongfuilitary. Of all our NATO
allies, Ca~ada's military spending exceeds only
that of LuXembourg. Our men'and women are
defending our coasdines with Sea King helicopters thatrequire'2S hours ofrepair time f01'every
single hour offlight. Aside from being a national
embarrassment, these
helicopters are also
putting our soldiers at
risk. When we ask people to risk their lives to
defend ourway oflife,
we must be wiJ)ing to
give them the tools to
get the job done. Brian
Mulroney ordered replacements for the Sea
Kingsadecadeago,and.
Jean Chretien spent
$500 million to cancel
the order shordy after forming government.

~veryone

What's a free market?

We need a strong, intelli/ gent, and charismatic
leader to guide us into the
future, and that leader is
the Con'seNative Party's
own Stephen' Harper.

loves Canadians

liberal foreign policy is easy tounderstati.d:
they believe thatifwe are extiaordin~y "nice"
and do exacdywhatthe UN tells us; we will never
needamilitary. Peacekeepingcan be accomplished
by shippingout soldiers with guns and inappropriate camouflage on American cargo planes.
. But with conflicts brewing betweenchina:
and Taiwan, North and South korea and in the
~fiddle East, we need to be prepared to defend

In the United States, corporations are expected
to operate with only private funding. In Canada,
the liberals often become SO excited about the
prospect ofa Canadian-based company that they
hand out monthly cheques drawn on the public
purse. This is ridiculous fiscal policy and ids
corporatewelfarerunoutofeontroL (For those of
youwhohavenottcedlibernlsignsonResearchin
Motion's lawn, make no mistake: RThfs votes

were boughtwithIiberalgoveinmentpatroriage.
On the phone, a RIM manager claimed the company was investigating how the signs got there, ,
but a quick check reveals thatthe signs arestiUthere
several daYs hiter.)
.Whether you are pro-American or not, you
must agree that the American economic strategyis far more flexible and sustainable than our own.
Economic. prosperity c;umot be forced to happen with direct government grants, it can only be
encouraged withlo~tcorporate taXes. The former
merely creates reliance on government support '
while the latter lets strong companies grow and'
weak companies die off.
Economics is not a static science. We must be
ableto tolerategradualanddynaniicchangeinorder
to build a Canada that is fit for the 21 ~t century.
Fishing for weHare
Stephen Harper was right on target when he
said that a cu!ture of dependency exists in the
Adantic provinces. Why is it that our eastern .
coasdineis primarilyinhabited by seasonal workers who rely on government support while the
American· east coast drives the most thriving
economy in the world? The liberals have sent a
me~sage to the Adantic provinces with their hefty
welfare cheques: itis okay to underachieve.
On June 28, the liberal policies of appeasement and corruption need to end. The liberals
have had a decade to build "their" Canada and
theyhavefailed miserably. We need a strong,
intelligent and chatismaticleader to guide us into
the future and that, leader is the Conservative
Party's own'Stephen Harper.
-Tom Levesque

Not missing Reagan a bit
one? There is no room in the system for error.
. The Ontarloliberals have found this out the
hard way.
Attempts to right some of the Conservative
mistakes have been met with howls of indignation. "Hands offmymoneyl" Were you to get a
good or service at a discount price one week,
could you assume that this price would remain
.
constant?
No, the much-loved market means that
Ronald Reagan has been buried for less than a
week. I'm almost tempted to dance a jig and
costs and prices are never constant, Just as
taxes may. go down, so too they must be
sing, ''Ding, 40ng~ the Gipper's dead" but that
. might be seen to be disrespectful to the dead.
expected to-rise to reflect the needs and de~
mands of sQciety.
Reagan, along With the doyenne of the right,
. Has our society hecomeso selfish thatwe are
Margaret Thatcher, ushered in an age ofslashand
unwillingto payourdues for collective services? ._
burn government cutting - euphemistically
called ratiQnalization, the likes which were not
Nothing big mind you, just the little things of
seen in Canada,until the mid-nineties. Reagan'S
the world, like the fire department, the road
down-home cowboy attitude and Thatcher's
system or the passport office. A goveriunent
Iron Lady persona did more' damage than 30
cannot_.survive on bread and water. alone: .it
years of post-World War II progressiveness
mu$thave substance and substance cOsts
money;'
could ever prepare for.
.
I will not argue that all that they did was
I often wonder what will happen, in a
decade, once those who voted forlower taxes
unnecessary, all systems must protect against
stagnancy,butratherI would like to highlight a . move on with their lives. They might start to
look around for the government services.
rather disturbing trend. Has anyone noticed that
government changes to services and taxes only
Nothing grandiose, just the little things in life, .
like small class sizes for their children, a sep~
seem to go in one direction, down?
The libertarian woUld stand With noisemakers
ior's health plan for themselves or their parheld high andcheer on the late&i:~~.cut, no
ents. Utiimportantstuffthatthey'renotusing
matter the size .or shape. Lower taxes mean more ' . right now, sow~ypayfodt? After all, it's their
money: and they should be able to decide how
money in the pocket. More money in the pocket
means a bigger economy. A bigger economy
to use it.
. This brings me full circle to R()flald Reagan
means more taxes and the same·revenue. Don't
look now, but Ontario is still waiting for that to'
and MargaretThatcher:As they grew older, the
. happen.
invincibility wore off. Rea,gan gotAlzeimer's,'
~nd Thatcherhad,a stroke.
What happens ifsome.one made a mistake?
Say, hypothetically, someone, sQmewhere picked
You can bet th~y didn't spend anytime in
a government hospital. But for us, this is our
a number outofahat, say 30per centinsteadof
world and taxes go no where but down.
20 per cent and now the government that the
, someone worked for cut the taxes too deeply
nmo~gksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
and now finds itself in a deficitposition? A big

Neal Moogk-Soulis
THIS IS YOUI. WOILO

.ANDREW

IIllGDI

IsIII... Paru••llir . .1Ii'. _
tHE MPWHOMAKES A DIFFERENCE
THE MPWlIO CARES ABOUT POsT-SECONDARY EDUCATION
A LEADER IN THE FIGHT TO PROTECT THE RIGHTS
.
OF ALL CANADIANS

'Andrew has made a difference in education and technology
in Waterloo Region.
• With Drs~ Peter Adams and John English, he founded the Post-Secondary
Education Caucus of the Liberal Party that is instrumental in promoting the interests
_ofstudents and Universities.
' .
.,He led the drive to create Communi tech. a pillar for the high-tech sector
in Waterloo Region.
• He has promoted the needs of students and post-seeondary institdtions as President
of the University of Waterloo Federation of Students, as a member of the U .of W '
Senate. as a member of the Board of WLU and as Chair of the Basic Job
Readiness Training Program for Conestoga College.

What Stephen Hatper proposes is "the pulling back of government, puUmg it back from
, the environment, pulling it back from the defence of equality. pulling it back from the
defence of Abori~ls, pulling it back from the defence of women. 'Internationally,
, what he proposes is by and llqe a policy that would very closely fonow the hard line
of the Bush W):Ute HoUse...I do think it would be dangerous for Canada to have a.1eader
with the kind of mentality that Mr. Hmper has."
THE RT. HON. JOE CLARK
Campaign 0fIIce: "
220 King St South Warerloo, Ontario N2J IR3

=~=~~~ax:(519)579-3879
Website: www.Telegdi.otg

LluI!lI1D·· .c·a
....

'.'

~L ~f
Ci'J

'Ilkillilliflna fir YDB Ind fir GlNAOA

. Authorized by the offlclal agent for Andrew Telegdl

Imprint '. opinion

8

FRIDAY, JUNE 18,2004

laltaps
Out of province blues

letters@imprinl.uwateploD.CI
ment. at the Mongolian Gnu, leam to' run a
business in Canada.

of Mark's lies

To the editor,

To the editor, "

To the editor,

~ore

Confessions of a fooflover

-Edwin Vane
1B Compllter SciefJce Grad S IUdics

Consider the 'foliowing: two friends walk into
,People wonder what sort of fetish I possess.
This lett:er is in response to Mark Johnson's
the University Plaza's Mongolian Grill. Qne is
They keep asking and it pisses me off. I never
article '~t the liberals work their magic." The "
from New York, the other is, from B.C. The
Get up and vote
hesitated to give them the classical response,
reasonhehas been "tJ:ieobjectofattack" from the '
whl¢h is, "I don't have one."
Conservatives is because he isn't merely stating
friend from New York has llis American pasSport,and the one from 13.c. hasavalid driver's
his opinion, hI! is writing outright lies, '
To ,t~ editor,
However; upon much request, I decided to
, 'Since Mark trusts The EC(Jnomis(magazinem
licenq:. Theydecide to orderalcoholhceptthat'
end
mas~ivecuriosity by revealingtny
the ~opgolian Grill i~ gojng to J:eje~t. one of ' Canadians are notonly t;U:jenthusiastic but apa-se:xual tantasies and secrets via the school hisarticl~itisnoteworthythati:hisve.rypub1ica­
their IPS, Whicho'ne is itgoingtohe? The one
thetic towards exercisingtheir citizenship righi:s '. newspaper.
,
'
tionis calling for increased competition ~ Canafto~ B.CJ
", -'
in election., We are bestat taking.democracy,for,
Yes, my people, I do have a fetish called the dianhealthcare-a Conservative Party,phltform.
,I discovered this past week that th,e Mongo- granted; whilemafiy countries to this day still floten~ jeJiShm (Cantonese for foo~, fetish.)
Stephen Harper has continuously said he ,suplian9rill has a polii:;y to not accept out-of- ,struggle in bJoOds~s'for this basic right. Co~~
S~ccinctly put, tlUs means ,I like to put aman's ports uniVersal delivery ofheatth <;are, I?ut this is
feet in my mouth, wrap them liroundmy body ''nottnutualiyexclusiv:ewith privateirivolv~ent. '
proVince liCences as valid ID. Over the past five ' election time, w~decide thatdemocracyWilltake
years that I've studied at Waterloo, my
care ofitse1£ WegiVe Upourvote;; lI.ndthe chances
and eatthem.£or diruier. Forme, feet come first
I would also like to know how JO~!lP}l can
before anything o~ a ~'s body, even his -' claimdjmina)sweteagainstthegunr~.id
MaOitohan license hasn't been rejected once by , to shape 0ll!" government tha~ Win alter' our
, any bar or <;,lub. lcan even use theli~nce todrive
landscape, tax oUr dollars ~d exert power on
mQney.
theyJolm a lobby group? I must liavc::missed
The foundJition for my weird-ass fetishinife
in Ontario. Maybe we should remind the Mon~ -virtually all aspects ofour lives. The only excep~
this. I'm sure we allknowthai: before a c.r.i.minal
, golian ~rilithatthis is Canada and IDfromany .lion to voting apathy is when C~ans decide
,mchwas builtinmiddle school Mymath teacher shoots someone he makessu,re that he promptly'
p.rovin4;:e,is valid eVerywhere else. Do we out~of­
to vote in ll!l expression of spite. Thus,itis not wasahotpiece ofass who caine to teach With flip , registers his stolen gun. Those people that do
a surprise when the,Ontario Liberals won a
flops eve.rysingleday (the bitch even wore them , ,register their guns are the law-abidingdtizens~ ,
province people 'reqqire passports in our own
country? What makes the Mongolian Grill so
dramatic 70percen~ofoverallvoi:es at the recent in the winter). So; instead of focusing on linear
(Andno;Ihaveneverowned,norwillJe'\rer,own
~-li
"
provincial election,a symbolofthevoters'v~- ' eqqati~nl?, Lwould find myselfUnravelingin the
a gun.) Many farmers, or "rednecks" (and we
speW<u:
, "
,
I find this a rather bizarre business move 'anceforthemassiveblackoutandothermishaps
mystery of her beautifulfeet.I would stareaf wonder why Albertans don't like thelibc::rals),
consideriiig they are less than 50 meters from a ' thattocikplace-qnderourConServa:tivegovein~
them for hours and hours. Next thing you , use guns as tools, so of course they will oppose
merit S~ly, public consultations in theplart-, lm0w, I'd be checkiO.gout foot~jobs on theNet
univetsitywheremanypeop~ecome fromdifferany barrier to purchase! ownership. The gun
rungprocess areoften underused pydtiZens. The ' while my friends were still, playing with their
entprovinces and countries; UW r:p.ade offers to
t¢gistryis ahuge waste ofmoney that could have
result is commuitity projects that draw contro~
Teletubbies at home.
'
over 20000ut-of-province students, in ,this
been spent in better ways to fight crime,~ and
versyamotJg~gryci#Zeps,asituationthatcould"
' Although ,having, a foot, fetish gave me
upcoming.year. Add this to th~ many that are
it is certaicly not popular-as he claims.
already studying here.
'.
• have b~e.n<;:asily~~uidedif citizens had cared to, immaculate orgasms as a youngster; it made
.The last point is when Mark called the Conattendthe
prelimiflary
consultations.
In
~
age
mel<>se
my
first
boyfriend;
Ihad
atendency
to
Out ofcuriosity, I explicitly asked two other
servative Party of Canada, "the grumpy, bitter, '
when,OPPQrfunities for perso,nal opinions, are
stare and play with his re.!,:t; He preferred hold:. , rightwingserrii-unltedneo-Conservative party."
establis~ents if my licence counted as valid
ID. Both said that it would be. One of the
continually diminished, we should take advaning hands. Althollgh 1 was quite okay with
This seems to:bein line with the libe~al policy of
people I asked even'said it wasricllculousthat , tageofthevotingprocess as a chance to voice our , thatattimes,it~s neveren<;>ugh to satisfy me.
trashing anyone that opposes them with empty
an out~<;>f-province licence would be rejected.
opinion, loud and clear. Tr~dein criticism for ' A '14~y~at-old woman n:eeded to be satisfied. , rhetoric: TheCPCis a uruted grOup ofCanadians. '
action this year in our federal election to at least
I told the assholelie had to compromise:
, SteVe Strauss, the candidate for theK~Wtiding,
Indeed!
try to..avoid disappointment.
' He d:\lffiped'me.
was fed up wU:h the'liberals and wants a change.
I ~ugge~tt;hat~ofus<;>ut-:of~province people
and'those who are against such'discriminating
-Natalie Mason
-Ken Dllbien
policies s~yawayfrom theMongollim Grill until -Ti.ffa1!J TSlin
1BMath,
3B BHsin;ss/Math
they ameli6ratethe, poliCy; As for the manage-, 2.13 Planning

this

<

Defend Canada with your vote - , make the

rightdeci~ion"

Accord, designed to limit global warming emission8-"- theyobviouslydon'tcareaboutprotect~
majoritygo",emmentlThereisafrighteliingpos~ ,ing the environment ,He'd also strap the gun
SibilitythattheConserva1:i.vt;scouldformaininor- "registry,which would drawtheire of the police.
, •tty government and they're atreadytilkingabOut
I've been a~ding all-bndidates meetings
, ~thth.eBl?CQuebecois.TheBloc!What·, and I've been greatly disturbed by what I've
dedication toC~ eli?
hc:ard from Conservatives, who are high on the
It's a scary thought Harper h~ said that the ' prospeciofwirulingpower.Evenrecently, their
'Liberals are nowtimning scared in this election.
candidates have inade comr:p.ents that are anti, I ccime'to you today with a heavy heart. It's You're damn right we're scared! I love Canada. abortion, anti..;bilingualism and anti:.gay- for
altnosrimpossibletobelieve,buttlieConserva- ,Ilove our history, our heritage and I love the , the record, those would ,be the
for
tivesareactually leading in the polislPeople had- 'country we've become. That's
I'm a.£raid.
YeIlowbead,Lanark-Carleton and the candidate.
become aCCustomecl to the idea of a liberal
I've seen the destruction the Conse.t\Tatives are
for Kitch~er-Conestoga,respectively.
~oritygovetnrDentcoopera!ingwiththeNDP
~apable of and their inept handJ,ing of our,
StephenHarpersaidthattheyhavenopolicy
toformamajority. Therewastaikofthisbeing 'economy;Tworryabouiour future.
on same-sex marriage 'or abortion, but they
'PrimeMinisterStephenHarper.Whatadan:-' woUld allow dfree votes" if the subject wefe
a benefit to demoo;:a,cy,and I admit, itwould
forc~ a gov~rnmentto paymore attention to the
gerous prospeCt! The Reform!Conservatives acbrought to lightvia apriva~e meml:fet's bill. This
grassroots and would combat any government' cuSe all others offear mongering, but they do
is a prettybackdoorwaY'totakeawaya woman's
tendency to b~tomeattogant.
'
'representathreattotheCanadawc.:knowandlove.
righfto choose, because thegovernmentwould
Hut ~ have taken a tum fortJ:ieworse.
Harper has stated that he'd d~ the Kyoto plead innocence and say that the privaw'l;,Ilem"
, ber'sbill was responsible for the prospective end
,to.ab~rtionrightS. wtliHarper'sConservativestry
to end women's reproductive freedom?Whynot?
The last Conservative gove~ent tried to
criminaJjzeabortion-fortunately,theSenateeven'tuaIlydefeated them.
The Conservatives have an outrageous economic platform dismissed byc::c,onomistsas
being based 00 faulty math. Typically conservati".e, they want to spend, spend, spend, and then
squander lots more on tax cuts for the rich. The
Same 'path th~ last ConservatiVe government '
took, it's a recipe for enormous deficits and
mounting 'debt.
We students are already goingto have to pay
enormous taxes to pay down the Mulroney
pationaldebt-we cannot afford anymore! The
Basedonrecenipredictions, even theliberals and'
.'.: NDP' combined might not be enough to fonn a,

MPs

why

Conservatives will not, I guarantee, be ableto
keep anywhere near allof~eir promises. It's a'
, chilling repeat of Brian Mulroney's victOrY in
1984; he too said whatever he needed to to get ,
elected and, ~en 'proke his' promises." Why
shouldn't Harper follow suit?
We lleecl yOur help:Aliberalminority government backed by'the NDP is fav9ured by
many, but there is a distinct possibility that the
Conservatives could be the-winners and would
be abletQ wreak havoc on this country while
.being backed by the separatist Bloc Quebecois.
When it cOmes dOwn to it, we have a choice

between1heConservativesandtheLibemls.IfHalper
was Prime Minister, we'd be participatingin the
quagmire in Iraq; If the Conservatives win, gay,
marriage will definitely be canned. They want to
dump hate'crimes protection for homOOexuals.
They'<lliIrelytossdiec:lec:rimipaliztionofmarijuana.
Ifyou reject Stephen Harper's wild spending
plarls, his backward social conservatism and his
dismisslll of Canada as a Hsecond-tier socialist
country," I plead with you to vote against them,
Let's open the door to a Liberal-NDP coalition
govertunent Itworked with Ttudeauin 1972; it '
cw work today.
"
The alternative is a Conservative/Bloc,
Quebecois coalition: This is not fearmongering;
this is fact. Dq we want the western separatists
workingwlth the Quebec separatists? I think not.
The liberals will not win a majority, so we
need to make sJ,tte their minority is large enough
to make the coalition with the New Democrats
possib!e; Fightto defend Canada and Canadian
values; on June 28 make the right choice.
mjohnson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca,
.

,
~ -lI,

~ .... ,.

'"

.,...

.. ........... "" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

.,. .......... .it

'" ,. ..... ~

,.,

,

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY. JUNE 18,2004

9

~t'-splay ." a.\ game

Resume padders

of pick-up

These guy games may seem distasteful, butit
should be no secret that girls play similarly in bar
go to India ahd boost my resume but I also like
situations. Just like how men and women are
helping people," I could accept het honesty. It
different, so are their games. While men's minds
bothers niewhen people cover up "their true:
seem to revolve around physical attributes as
intentions with bullshit rhetoric. This was her
outlined in the aforementioned games women
response, "My trip to India is for the good of
may be more interested in bragging righ,ts and
humanity. I hope others can follow in my foot.:
monetary offerings. Guys go for the self-esteem
steps and make this world a better place." I
and girls go for the wallet.
gagged on an Oreo.
Reminiscingabout bar experiences one night the
Getting guys to buy drinks at the bar can be
Other people voluriteer in certain organiza-. conversation turned to bar games. For the first
the sole purpose ofsome girl's nightespeciallyif
Resumepaddlngis when people throw so much
tions (like newspapers) for that bit on their
time in a whlJ.e I felt eXtremely naive about the
a bet is made on who receives the most free
bull. poopoo' on their resume that it actually resume.Feds,WPIRG,insertorganizatiqnwith . activitiesOfboyS.SliteIkn'ewtheyplacedbt!tson cocktails. It can even be based on least body
a "mandate:' are all examples ohtudent run" girlS arid stuff but so.mehow I neglected paying
smells. They ga~ that standard set ofskills at the
contactwith the drinkbuyers orit can be no holds
top like, "adept at problem solving," "ttemen- . resume paddersat Waterloo. Genuineidealismattentidti to the details.
barred (if you know what I mean).
is rarer than an Asian kegger.
dous e£ficiency/'ormyperSonal favorite, "excelThe first game discussed 1waSslightlyfamiliar
Aless intoxicating choice is collectingphone
l~t oral skills." ';;
.
with, ''Nail the Whale," andwhileitis prettyJVde ' numbers. Ratherthan countingdrinksit's notchMyfoIks';llkegoOdIndian parentSwh0\Vant
their 501,l to' d.o better than .all other' Indian
I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't happen;
That's fair biitthen the next part of the
ingthenumbers. This game is not only easier on
parents'dffspring,usedtopokeandprodmetb
This
involves a plus~~e female and a guy not
resu.tne?plodeslikeasphincterafterthreepieces
the liverandthepreys'wallets butitismucbmore
~:O.[7-" 1,/ l?n~.~'"tf\ 'y.r-·';"'i".,,'~t-~J~~'
get off my aSs and do something..Like once I
attracted to this body type. It can include a bet . simple to keep track of. We all know that at 'a
volunteered at a hospital. Yippee; Had I helped 'between a group ofguys to get the biggest girl or
A few people genuinely volunteer their efpoint the drinks seem to blur' tOgether. Alforts to causes that interest them. But then most
sick people;perhaps thatwouldha:Ve been genuit can nappen due to awingman situation.
though this option is available to both sexes
Beingawingmatf(orwoman) can happen to
~tiople do crap for the sake ofsmearing said crap inely worthwhile. But alas;! worked in the
from my' experience girls partake in it more
research department conducting useleSs experianyone at any time, eVen in the middle of a pre"."piece of paper, which impresses co-op
readily.
ments on steam; It was th'e;kind of job that
lirraIlgedgameandis us~aresultof'allegia.nce
;~yerswhohire·the mostctaptabulous stuWheriitcomes topkk-upgames theskyis the
would get me into med school! Then I filled
to a frie1ld. Ita,Jleviates the tension when a friend
~ts; Unfortunately,res~e paddingis neceslimit. All it takes is an imagination. They can be
, is ttyingto pick up someorie accompanied by a
$~j,nt.oda.tscompetitiveexistence but some. OAC chemistry and biology. Shit.
nice or mean - it really depends on the participeoRle:Wre the cake.
.
Mypointis,yougottamak¢yourintentioosfriend.Sometimes the winger must settle for
pants.
. In Oi1e example, some,girl told me-she's
clear when:you join stuff. Ifit's for the resume, sOmeone loWer than their expectations and is
For one of my favourites I hay-e coined the
thenciUed "Jumping on the Greruide"or "taktrust me, people will respect your honesty.
going to India for fourireeks. to orgaruze a
term ''Dare to Diss," agamewhereguys are dared
Toend,Ileavewiththis·petsonalanecdote.ingonefortheteam"unlik.etheirfriendwhogets
literacyprogratn. Had she been MotherTheresa
to go tell off or embarrass anover-confident
I wQuldhilve applauded her altruism. The oply Lastyeat I joined Hip Hop Club 'cause I heard to woo their chosen landing pad.
lookingchica. I thinkitis awesome to knock a girl
girls ,congregate to this thing like it wa.s tlle
Another game,'dubQed "Dog Fight" blew
thb:!8she and mother Theresa had in common
down a few pegs and I think that girls could
nieawayand the namerea1ly says it all. A group
were their sexappeaJ.:
.'
. . ' niillion poontang march. HoWever, I artfully
capitalize with this game to do tbesame to cocky
When your marks are good and your ~xtta tOld 'the instructor that learnj!}g how to dance ' otguys al\pitcil in equal mOney and they must guys.
CutticU1ar involvement is solid you p.eed that was myonly~onfor joining>ltbjpk~s~.locate4jtdoi· (see~~e femaIe) and fol- _ ~. :Gam~s ofthis sort flow like the liquor in bars
. ' . "'~;:loW the rules 'out1in&l in order to win the pot: and,pethaps, ~moreawareofsome<>fthem
..:que extra humanitarian ba.fot~~­ myhoxofTtbjanil.·· ",
HeCk.
I
thoughtmynovicedanceskiDswouldOneguyexpJained
how for one fight the chal- wiIlmakeus a little morewary otoutpeds;W&iJ.e
tiooatschola'rship~ lIef; let's go to IrulialThere
are poor people there that could use my knowlbe mther charming to, the opposite sex. They . lenge was not only flirt with the girl but "get a
the stories sound amusing, attached to them are
,;~
()flitera~
b
'fot.r\ll7eef£&
atfallleitt'tan
unheard
feelings of embarrassment and hurt.
.
wem:notefocukedt:hanlthought'~eac,htinle
pi#,
~ther'
naked
in
her
OWn
bed!"
What
is
."'"5""
"'''7 or.
.
.
ditch 'em, fly to Antarctica and protest the I fellon the floor, I'd hear
cliiCk inuttet;~"evC:li.cra~~h:han the goaIisthatone guy sucSometimes the price for such fun is much too
"Tell this loser to get his ass home. He's killing
ceededl Oth~games merely require to leave the
penguin hunt.
hlgh. and that should not be forgotten.
out rhythm."
barfirstwitha"dog" orgetherhome so the othet
Yeah,I'ma cynic butit's pretty obvious when
mtitus@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
PeoPJedostufffors.elf~prombtingr~olis. Had
guys can do a comparison.
hramachandran@imprint;uwaterloo.ca
told meflatout, "yeah Heranibone, I wanna

III_I Ihas
TIUCIEI

IEIAMI'1 II•• '

some

she

fI

.1t

My new McWalkometer
get in one day without· knowing it.
4,513 steps to and around Waterloo Park; and
'. ,,~,And; believe it,orfIot;I got mystep-a-mcQ!!
.'. 9~3 siepsback:home.
ln$i.de the.oome,:it ~es me 13 steps to.get "ft~,ofall p1aces.McDonalds. They are giving
them out free with a pur~ of a meal-sited
. ,to the kitchenj 16 steps to talkwith my roOIp~
salad.... yes.salad.Asmanyofuswouldbe,Iwas
'mates, and a measly six steps to go to the
sceptical to even touch anything green from
bathroom.
McDonalds.thatwasn'tona burger. But! must
,Okay, so I think l'ill taking·my new step-aadmit, the salad wasn't half bad, and I got the
meter to the exttenle. But the numbers were
step-o-meter.
defioitelyimpressive.
,This has to be a prime example of turning a
So I went to the Bomber last Wednesday night, , ' For example, Iwa1ked. the equivalent of2.9
and I tOok a total of 3,587 steps.
kilometres:while at Bo¢ber, which equates to ,looming problem into a sparkling opportunity.
McDonalds has been trying for months to win
That breaks down to 1,234 steps inside the .decent exercise (and thatdoesn'tincludingdanc:customers over with their "healthier lifestyle"
Bomher duringtbe initial i'bello'WaIk-around"
ing or random make-outs).
uponatrival, 89 stepswhilewaitingin1ine for the
Inonegay)ltook9,~steps.whichamounts ' approach, trying to tag along to the health machine. Unfortunatelyforthem,McDonalds firmly
patio, 485 sQ!ps outside on the patio, and 1,779
to 7.9ki1ometres. Granted, visiting Waterloo
holds the "grease and'obese" position in our
steps duri.nS the final "goodbye walk-around".
Parkwasanextraordinaryoccurrence (the rabbits
minds.'
,.
During the day, I took 1,850 steps from
were particularly frisky that day), but it really
Things were thought to get worse with the
home to scliool, 2,150 steps while at school,
openedmyeyes toh'owmuch exercise we really

release ofthe docutnentary '~erSize Me," in
which one man decides to eat McDonalds for
breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 30 days. But,
instead of fearing the~91 ~ thcirsupersized
reign over fast food, theMCMatketingcrewover
at the Golden Arches saw an opportunity to
makemoney. .
.
In the,movie,.the man monitOrs all of his
exerclsewhile onhlSMcDiet,includinghis walking by using a device that counts the number of
steps he takes as he is walking.
As a ''biz kid," I see a move like this as the
genesis ofMcDOnaldsandtheirattemptathealth
positioning. Then again, I might be just a marketer's dream (in my defense, I'm certainly not
goingtO buy aBigMac combo for a"fi:ee song'').

.,~,,;'~

IAI fUll
So you're really dOting
CherUze Theron?

t
Yup.
You're notmoking n up?" I

\

ao~al@imprint.~waterloo.ca
..,-

1Ia~'8i'cha~'~fdi i:,1 want:,.:.
"-~"~""

Seriously?
I

You're not
pulling my leg?

\

'

Yup.

I·

Is....;..'
.;lr tc>,4WCII"e of thlO

.\

ShewiJl~

I

"

Imprint opinion

FRIDAY,JUNE 18,2004

Five steps to a shadier you
#3. Single-mindedness. If you care
really, really sttongly about something,

We should all enjoy the life of the Canadianfederalpolitician

#2. LoadedwOnir. Do people avoid you cangetawaywith sayingthe silliest
conversationswithyou?Maybeyou're
things about everything else. Martin
choosing your words wrong. You has. his health care, Harper has his
should try "politispeak," a magical governmental accountability and
language in which you pllt,~positive Layton has his environmental secuspin on everything and always say, rity,andeachoneisstickin'tohisguns.
what your subjects wantto hear! ConI wouldloveitif, at my next interview,
more_ob~esse4with.1:he:,\\'ed~g~,.s~e1- thisc~l~fromthe federal ,IcoUld respond to an employer's
theminlage,.a politiCian on, the war-•• ··,:~a,~s:JiHvesting,"""hich suggests . question about how I would solve an
path for votes is both insatiable aruj ,'~is bettertbantheharsh, office inner conflict by saying,
completely oblivious to his actions,' honest word "spending." Or, try "Hmmm. I don't care much for that.
I'm surprisingmyselfby how involved
whole phrases like, "I will not level Bllt I love oJIice lottery pools! Boo-yah!"
I'm getting in the federal election and people seem to respect that.
I wantin. So, permitm~t9present new legisla~," which r~y means, This one may be the hardest to apply
malarkey. (Usually I like to bury my
"I wonder how much moi¢11 would
to real life.
five methods politicians usf .to captinose closer to home, butthe new Feds
vate whole nations that jUst. might have to 'invest' in order, t() btand my.,
#4. Positive and I!egative, interaction.
are behaving themselves.) And as I
watched last Monday and Tuesday's
help us students in our daUy lives.
initials onto every UterllS,m ~ .cogp.- '. Think of it like this: your friends, and
«federal debates, I felt overwhelmed by
#1. Egostroking. ThepotentW.lead,. ,r.ry."The
best thingaboI:lLpoli~;
familyare perfect, and everyone else is
:
,,'i:.,
'.",
emotion,.,.as I'm
erg of,(he country
is thatjf someone challeriges,~ true Satan's secretary. Lifewould be so easy
realize they have ~ of your words, you just, au", ," ifitwas that black and white, and for
sure~yaCana­
tO'impress us: tomatically say, ''That's notwhaL, Ifi politiciansitis. Notice how the federal
For me,
"Notice how the
young adults; said." Foolproofl
leaders can change from chummy to
the emotion was
jealousy, because
federal leaders c~n which explains, _
it was then that I
change from
.fllture-minded..
' .....
, ~sueslikepreser~',
realized ... politito
',va«ollofWl,tural,
cians have the
sweetest job ever!
a nanosecond
resources and:~
Here I am, litsame-sexma:ttle graduating me,
(except for layton, riage.L:t'smllkitt
putting on a suit
who
by choosing our",..
, ,...
own personal
and tie every few
agendas and redays to go to ,an
jectingany atinterview where I
put up a· false
tempts· at comfront to lan4a job where my petsonpromise! People admiteyou for being
ality will be largely repressed. And . hard~nosed. ~esid~s, we have every
there'sabickering~~Harper, . ~eason to ~a tougp~eJl; J:4'1:4a~J?£
t21kingovereach other, tryingto conliberating protest music and Campus
Unrest are over, so we must find Our
vince their classmates thatthey should
be teacher's helpet rather than that fun elsewhere. (I don't mind the Nastupid smelfyheadfThese men - confi- tional Guard shooting at me, as long
dentandchatismatic,allofthem-are as he does itoffcampus. It's summer
embodiments of our hyperactive - the bot dog vendors are trying to
youn,gerselves. When a guyisn'tweardo business, fer chrissakes.)
ing campaign ribbons, this kind of
behaviour gets him a social worker.
I realize there's more to beingprime
minister than winning the title. Then
again,I've rarely seen a candidate who
worksharderafterthevotesaretallied
than beforehand; like a "bride-zilla",

Layton, whoneverstopsS11liJiI1';.Iguarantee you that drawing a yisibleline

betWeenloveandhate~~yqtlt
goals muchcl~. But please, don,'i

pull a Harper and put those 16ved
ones of yours in a soft-lens TV cOmmercial. That's just breeding contempt.
.,
What, you say that was only four
steps? Haveyounoticed (hat! ha'j("en't
even mentioned Gilles Duceppeyet?
That's a demonstration of the most
important step of lill ~ #5. Sidestepping. Just ignore something and it win
go away! Thais what politicians do
. best, and you can do it tool !JQme-

Patio face-off: the battle of King Street
and Pat Carson
CIEERS OR JEERS
TIlls pastweek, two Imprintcritics (Laurenand Pat)
made their way to patios across Waterloo to begin
a series of harsh and grueling patio evaluations.
The culmination of this rigorous exercise will see
the crowning of the "ultimate patio - the champion among champions."
In futureissues,IflIprintwill present more face-offs
between patios. TIlls week, we present the "Battle
of King Street - Barley Works vs. McMullan's.

Barley Works
59 King St. North, Waterloo

Atmosphere
Lauren
This patio is a lot bigger and louder than
McMullan's. It's a lot windier because it is above
streetlevel. They had music playing which made
the atmosphere more relaxed.

The Works is probably the largest patio in Waterloo. Being part of the Huether Hotel it has a
large client base and needs all the space it can get.
Lots of seating and space to walk around. You'll
definitely find people you know here!

Price / Service
Lauren
The price ofbeer was cheaper, because they brew
their own. The service was good, they had
designated patio staff, and they were very quick.

quiet because it is off the main road, and there
wasn't any music playing outside.
Pat

With a small sub level porch just offof King St.,
McMullan's porch is great for a small get-together and a nice relaxing pint on a sunny day.
If you are going for a ni~ afternoon date with
that special someone and just want to keep it
relaxed and casual this may be the atmosphere
for you.

Overall
Lauren
They had a Conservative sign outside their
fence, but overall I think I would go to
McMullan's ifI wanted to sit and relax in the
afternoon with a few friends.

Size
LaIJren
Definitely a smaller feel. I think it would be
unlikely to run into my friends there, because
they usually like a louder crowd.

I enjoyed this pub a lot. The porch is a great place
to relax on a downtown visit and its location
just off of King Street keeps the noise down
while not being inaccessible. Prices were average, however they make up for it in portion size.
I would definitely go back there again, especially
for one of their specials; $20 can get you a large
pizza and a pitcher of beer. Not too shabby, eh
chaps?

Pat
Pat

Once again your average prices for a pub. Order
the fries though, can't go wrong with $2.50!
Good service, and pretty cute waitresses. Hey
now, any guy likes to be served by a cute waitress
smiling and laughing at all your corny jokes, it
just makes you feel good.

Overall
Lauren
They had a Liberal sign outside their fence, but
overall I think I would go to Barley Works for
a fun night with a large group of friends.

Pat

It's your typical pub. Smaller, dimly lit interior,
with a medium-sized porch that has some great
spots to catch some rays. Maybe not the best
place for a large gathering offriends, but good for
small gatherings and to keep a visit more intimate.

Pat

The atmosphere says party to me. The porch is
large and in charge. The atmosphere provides a
great place to party with lots of space and plenty
of sitting room. Although they did change Pink
Floyd on the stereo to Alicia Keyes at one point,
I can forgive them and let it slide this time.

Size
Lauren
I think that I would run into my friends there
because there's good, cheap beer and it has a
louder atmosphere. There is also more room
for big groups.
Pat

tender I received pretty damn good service. The
true test would be to see it operate on a busy
night or during a Turkish football game.

Pat

Good porch to hit with a large group of friends
that are looking to consume their fair share of
wobbly pops. Cute waitresses and some good
tunes [if they let you hear a Pink Floyd song] and
their own brewed beer make it a good place to
experience atleast once while in Waterloo.

Price/Service
Lauren
The price was as expected, but there was a good
deal for a pitcher and wings or combo platter for
$20. The service was good even though they
didn't have designated patio staff, but there
weren't many people there when we were.

McMullan's

Pat

56 King St. North, Waterloo

Any pub like McMullan's is going to have
similar prices. The prices are comparable tb
other pubs, however, you get your bang for
your buck because the portions are more than
one can handle.
With one bartender as the waiter and bar-

Atmosphere
Lauren
The patio isn't very big, but it's a good place to
visit with a small group. The atmosphere was

And the winner is â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘.
Lauren
I'm a big town girl and I'm going to stick with
my big porch, big attitude, Barley Works. I like
how music and the location can make even the
hottest night seem cool. Its own beer and some
sexy waitresses pressed the right buttons - I'm
definitely bringing my friends here again.
Pat

This was a close one, it was the David vs.
Goliath classic batde, but I'm going to have to
go with McMullan's. I've got a soft spot for the
small and intimate pub, pool tables, familiar
staff, and great beer on tap. You can't go wrong
"vith Carlsberg and a good football (soccer to
the uneducated) game.
Ifox@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

1m·
till P
. U '"," rat
~

~BI

lagtlfliUli.
",UUUI-'uO

FRIDAY,JUNE 18,2004

Art and Spirit estival
returns to St. Jerome's

The autistic social butterfly

Michelle Gallant

DANIEL KANGMIN Ko

SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Creativity and spirituality are making their way to
St. Jerome's University June 24 to 26 for the
second annual Festival of Art and Spirit.
This year, the festival focuses on the visual
arts, showcasing the work and lives of five outstanding Canadian artists, with stories, interviews, workshops, barbecues and musical presentations enriching the theme. All five talented
artists will also act on their creative impulses by
sketching throughout the festival. The drawings
\\lill be part of a silent auction at the end of the
fesrivalV,-',-)fL, ,
Festival Highlights

ThursdayJune 24
The U ofW art gallery presents a showcaseof the
work from four Canadian artists: Rene Meshake,
Catherine Paleczny, Ted Rettig, and Gerald
Squites. Each artist comes from a different
generation, place and spiritual tradition; all share
an apprehension of the role of the spiritual in
their creativity. The exhibitis free of charge and
will be open throughout the festival.

Queen's University artist-in-residence, Ted
Rettig, a sculptor and visual artist whose work is
influenced by his study ofcontemplative practice
and inter-religious dialogue, offers a slide show
entided Reflections on his life and work ofthe past
30 years.
Friday eveningauthor Lesley Millard willread
her short story, "A Fine Country" against a
backdrop of artistic projections by Kitchener
artist Isabella Stefanescu.

SaturdayJune 26
Catherine Paleczny hosts a sculpting class, "Amalgamation" in East Campus Hall. Spaces are
limited to the first 25 people, but spectators are
invited to watch.
Rub elbows with the stars ofthe festivalatthe
''Lunch With the Artists"harbecue. Afterwards
CBC host Michael Enright interviews Gerald
Squites, renowned Newfoundland artist "Inside the Artist's Studio."
The festival's closing performance, "Falthin
Music" will be lotal mezzo-soprano singer
J eonifer Enns Modolo,followed by the closing
reception.
The St. Jerome's Festival of Artand Spiritis
generously sponsored in part by BMO Financial Group, The Federation of Students, and St.
Jerome's University. Events are open to all and
opening nlght is free. Festival passes are $25, day
passes $15, and single performance passes are
$10. Students and seniors receive a $5 discount.

Don't hide in your cocoon. Come out and spread
your colourful wings!
Forsevera1occasionslhavewanted tointroduce
you to my buddy, Plutarch. He is not attald of
m(!eting you. As a matrer of fact, he likes to meet
everybody. He's Monsieur Plutarch; The SocialBut- .
Mf!j,Nowthatyou've beenquicklyacquainted with
him,you'll notice that !leis very hllppy to become
youifriencLHe's got charm, and with Imprintand
theSunrplled and tucke~ under his arm he is ready
l:9~veon~impressQtherswithouthesitation.

••. :S$owlJ~t~ydoeshehaveuphissleeve?The
iatist BOlfib~' Bombshell? The Sunshine Girl?
~!:'to be revealed is deeper than skID.
~e'~ got a knaCk fpr knowing all the statistics and
scorfs for hisfavourite sportsdubs, Alouettes and
Expos.
'. . His abilities come hand in glove at any social
scene.··He'll be able to meet distinguished.overachi~, frierids and familyatcock:tall parties, or
even fellow litudents on campus. You won't need
toworryaboutcomingtohirn-he'll come to you!
He d~slo~tq socialize,In fact, the moment he
realizes youatea trustworthy-person., he'll ask you
for your date birth:
..
"Danny, my dear chap, when were you bom?"
heMked,
(responded, "Plutarch, ifs.December 31""
Thlnking about the year I was bom, "Oh yeah,
1982~ 21. 21! Alas, I am old, I am old."
"Thatwas a Friday!"

Whafs:

of

G9"'op rolepta
-finest

Plutarch is clairvoyant, retrospectively. Would
hebeabletoguessthedaysofthedatesinthefuture?
I haven't had the chance to question that. Anyhow,
his mathematical tricks embellish his sixth sense of
detecting some genius activity. The bottom line is
that he craves conversations and makes you feelat
home-insofaras hehimselfis comfortable andhe
receives the dignity thathe deserves.
He has autism but it s1:lOuldn't stop him from
becoming th~ nextDon.~~(!u:y, weathet anchor,
statistician, or the next ''g;ime theorist" As supporters w-ecanbetter.serye his inherentgifts that
would lead to eclectic achit:vements..
Oursocietyshelters Plutarch so hedoesn'thave
t6qm:ythe burden ofachallenge, orpethapsdue to
the perception that he is deemed exploitable by
wanton desires.of fellow men. However, I have a
different:view.
iaanilieM?nmeut ~or ~ tl1anfle~ ~
cotltagewhichembodyp~,lifNffirm.ingfriend­

ship; Ihmdhim .as a role modelforhi-s lmmertse

accuracywithn1.).tIlbersandfactsw?ich~ehelped

Pte.r

me realize !hatl, too, can build
expertise in
mychi)senfieldinmymlliergra,G$tUdieS.MediOCracy
in t~ ofgenera1knowledge,Iasc,ertai.n.ed,islame.
Andgraduatingforthesake.ofaclegreeseemsto be
picayune. Plutarchexemplifies soinethingmore.
Taking a step back, University ofWaterloo is
the ideal place for Plutarch to rQam andbiIDk!;()ut
his latentautistictalerit;(Nothing is egteg1oUl>ly
Wtoog; Thismight just the next reve4tion on
campusnextto the diSeojiery?f the B4tkBerry.
Plutarcliwaslast$'~ti.;1tlk,>!J1b~. Others have
claimed thathehas thekeyto rendetitlgrl,;ieGa,J.lssMarkhovTheorems and the BLUE (Be§tptlear
Unbiased Estim~tor) model as trash.':"'nottrore
Econ321!

te

•

enough information to understand the story
without having read the books. It also takes place
in the same world as the first Dark Alliance, and
somewhat carries on the stories of the three
" heroes in the first.
Instead ofthe three classes in the original, you
are able to choose between five: monk, barbarian,
necromancer, cleric and rogue. Also, there are two
secret characters that are unlockable by beating the
game on hard and on extreme. Personally, I think
Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 2
the monk kicks some serious ass. The m.onk is
Playstation 2
best without weapons and pulls offfiercea>mbos
$59.99
of up to six hits.
There are, however, a few problems with the
Since the days ofMario 3 and BattleToads there
game. The first and most angering is the ending.
has been an untapped treasure chest in game
I'd say I'm going to ruin it for you, but I doubt
design: two-player gaming. Those games where
it can get much worse. There's this sarcophagus
you work through itwith another person, sharand a dude talking to it. The dude's all talking
ingall the loot you find, and constantly yelling at
about how you (the hero) screwed up his plans
the other guy for dying, or perhaps saving over
and the sarcophagus says, ''We've gottago shitkick
your co-op game with his single-player game.
them" (or something like that) and it fades out.
Bastard roommates.
Notonlyare these characters not present elsewhere
In any case, lately co-op gaminghas been a sad
in the game, but also there is no mention of
second to the first player mode, often lacking a
anything remotely Egyptian. I presume it's alludgood engine to complement having two players.
ingtothefactthattherewillbeanothergame,but
In fact, it's usually much better to playa single
come on guys. Thatis a serious downer after laying
player game (like, say, Ninja Gaiden) and switch
out 11 hours to beat the game.
off.
The other problem is that the weapon upBaldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 2reallY changes
grade system, while neat and a little bit interesting,
the whole idea of co-op gaming. They combine
fails to keep up with the character's level. I mean,
an excellently crafted RPG with the ability to
there are lot ofgem combinations and whatnot
comfortably play with two people at once.
but they can't get powerful enough to make a real
In terms of graphics, the game features an
difference.
engine capable of creating the most glorious
Overall, the game is a shining example of a
lighting and particle effects. It's capable of dishack-n-slash RPG. I'd suggest picking this up if
playing in both the standard dungeon-crawler
you and a friend playaloNf:video games together.
overhead view, and a more close-up view, both
Alas, the game doesn't seem to know about the
with a fully controllable camera.
Internet but hopefully the next will.
The storyweavesin to the Forgotten Realms
series of books, while still giving the player
talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Alamenciak
1-UP

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Serena WOllg
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IMPRINT 8TAff

Attending Teml Cotta !f'amors in Toronto last
week was a unique theatre-going experience. For
me, it was a number of firsts, but not the ones
mentioned in the playbook.
This was the first musical I've attended that,
well, is not a musical! It calls itself an "actionmusical" but really it's better described as a
dance/ acrobatic/instrumental performance with
a few operatic songs thrown in. «Musical" implies a story told through dialogue and song but
there is not a single word ofdialogue or song tlJ.at
escapes the mouths ofany ofthe characters in this
production - unless you include the overdone
screams of the backgmundrecording (theywere
going for anguish but the effect was ridiculous
and laughable).
No dialogue or songs, you say? Well then
how did they tell Lhe story? The playbook says
that this is achieved more through action than
dialogue, but the truth is it's a m~n-issue since
thete's no story 10 speak of. \'Ii/hat ,vriter/ director/ financier Dennis Law (l'v£D) passes off as a
storyis a handful ofhistoric events ahoutthe lite
of China's First Emperor mixed in \\~1:h pseudohistorical events.
One such scene had the emperor being visited
hythe ghost ofConnlCius, bathed in a green tight
like something out of TheXJiles.
but a handful of events tossed t:ogethet '-'~tbOHt
eXlp';J:!'.J!tw,n or conncrte.dness do-es nc~r a

High.flying antics like these can't quite save Te"a Cotta Wa"iors.

Even the choice of events seems arbitrary --the relevance of the queen mother's affair, for
example, a scene spent illustrating the bedroom
gymnastics of the queen mother and her lover,
seems unnecessary and irrelevant. (Incidentally

the queen motht.'1:iB playedbya dancer who looks
about 20, she must've given bil1h as a fetus.) It's
odd how there's no mention at all ofhow the terra
cotta warriors, the natnesakes of the show, came
about. It looks like Law simply tried to identify a
bunch of events in tbe emperor's life that might
give the dancers something to dance about-w-ithout !,.nmg any thought to flow or reason. The
playbook claims that this "musical" is "telling a
simple but compelling story... a moving story of
passion and betrayal;" but an undecip!Jy;t;:~ble
story can llardly be compelling or moving:' . This was the first time I've seen everyone in
an audience simultaneously scramble for their
programs at intermission to try and decipher
what was going on. Even as I read the scene
synopses, I had trouble idc,!ltifYingwhich dance
corresponded to which scene and had to do quite
a bit ofment,ll-stretchingto figure out how each
scene related to the others (perhaps this was what
the playbook meant when it said this production
was "an incredible journey of the mind"). The
man who sat in front of me acquired a flashlight
during intermission and used it frequently during the second half to use his playbook as a crib
sheet for what was happening on stage.
Other than oftering such cryptic scene synopses as "Emperor fears both Confl1cius and
death," the playbook may be tlH'; fltst everto use
the £1J:st few pages as a disd:aitm;r. It basically
insulates itself from criticisIl1 with such statem(;'1lts as "action-musicals... should not be -"'lc,,\\TC(i
within tradiJion~t! boundaries" and
cross'"
cultural entertll.imnent does demand some degree of open-mindedness," basically calling anyone who doesn't like this production a closedminded bigot.
See TERRA COTTA WARRIORS, page 14

Lessons learned along tranquil paths
Ifyou'rdoolcingforsomethingthat's theantithesis of summer Hollywood blockbusters, a palate-deanser, a reprieve from things exploding,
this is the film for you. Sprill,f!; Summer, Fall,
U7intel: .. dnd Spring is the latest film by South
Koreamvriter/ director Kim Ki-dukandis absolutely everything a Hollywood blockbuster is not
--- it's quiet, profound and unexpected.
The movie takes place on a breathtaking and
ttanquillakc nesded amongst isolated mountains --- so beautiful it has a surreal quality.
floating Buddhist
Situated on the lake is a
temple ,-- actually, the word "temple" is probably misleading. "Temple" elicits images oflarge
statues and incense bru:ningarnidst the hypnotic
Ul"U • .ulJill of many monks'-'-' this temple is an
exce!edjln2~h simple
it is a one-room
but we'll get to that later) house ",,.jth, a
small shrine with a single doll-sized Buddllist
statue in the middle. Bed paUets flank either side
of the shl'ine. There are no walls inside the
temple, but there are doors d1at lead to each of
the two "lx~drooms"; the doors are used as if
walls were there -- symbolic perhaps of taking
the proper path rather than lhe easiest one.
The story begins in the spring. The scene
opens on the Hoating temple that houses a pair
of monks -- an adult (Oh Young-·soo) and a
child (Kim Jongho). TIK two lead a simple and
contented life; every morning they wake,

worship at the shrine, and paddle their unassuming boat to gather medicinal herbs or take
nature walks.
There isn't the insufferable rigidity sometimes associated with religious life - far from it.
The child monk explores his world, plays with
animals and learns life lessons from his master.
'Theirtelationship is one ofrespect and affeccion. The older monk watches over the child, but
does not interfere, even when the child makes
mistakes and does wrong. Discipline is administered sparingly and wit..~out anger or cruelty,
but also without excuses forthe child's age. One
such lesson involves a very literal interpretation
of the Golden Rule (roughl.y: do Imto others as
you ,>'louid wish done to
and we imagine
that this is one such lesson the child ,,111 carDJ\;\>id1
him his entire life.
Each season brings ,:v-ith it ne\" life lessons
and both monks grmv older as time passes. In
the summer, th.e. child monk has become a
I :1f·.-k\'!Jl,l!Y~ and a female visitor (Ha
in need
attention disrupts
and hU!l1(,)1"c)Usly
their simple world.
the two begin an unlikdyromance.
monk is am,v faced 'with a choice between the
simple life he has always knO'w"D and the more
exciting life of "the
of man," the outside
life. Predictably, the
ofthe outside 'VlOrld is
too strong and dIe teenager leaves his master to
be with his lover.
What happens in the fall and winter chaptets
of this movie are both fitting and surprising.

COURTESYSONYCLASSICS

A floating BuddhisUemple sets a surreal stage for life's cycles and life lessons.
\vodd of the monb is not without
accident and suicide. But all of this is dealtwtith
in the
has seen it all and ut!ldeTS!:andsan,[j aCCi.:pl:S tlrlll1lgS
as
arc. In tIle latter spring chapter,we'r.:.
shown hc)\v life llas come fulJ-cirde as the now
grown up child 1110nk imparts wisdom on a fit:'''W
chil&
Tius is a difficult movie to describe - the
closest comparison that cornes to mind is to the
Dutch film A'ltlmia's Li!te, another excellent
movie about the cycle of life. TIlis film is a
timeless parable, its characters are archetypes-so much so that none of the main characters hiwe
names. The movie's setting is simple, the

dialogue :'parse and the events stmighrfur\l{ard
and
.

many

you as the credits roll.
The mood of this
of its
the g0tg"OU5 citletnato)~apbs
to be seen to be understood.
one of these frames would
on the '-1talJ of an artgallety"
. This is not a movie for everyone - it's slowpaced, it's about symbols and it's subtitled.
\'i'ithout a
this is an art.. house film
v-"hethcr that's a positive or a negative thing
depends on the kind of movie you're after.
siywoflg@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

Imprinl 18

14

FRIDAY,JUNE 18,2004

a sequel that doesn't suck
Serena Wong
IMPRINT STAFF

·TosaythatShnk2doesn'tdisappoint
may seem like alukewannresponse to
this movie, but it's not. Shnkwas one
of the. most widely loved animated
movies in recent memory-loved by
children; adultslUld critics alike. So to
say that Shnk 2 dOesn't disappoint is
saying something indeed.
Sbrek 2 hl1-S managed to, petfOrm
the impressive feat qf side~stepping .
the curse bf the sequels ( merely·the
mention of the word "sequel" generally elicits. involuntary shudders of
dread from film buffs as horrible
images of sequels past flash in our

to give Shrek a hard time and Shrek
returns the favor, all of which puts
Fiona in an awkw3.rd and unhappy
position.
The plot thickens as we learn 1jlat
Fiona's fairygodmotheds actually the
devious mother of Prince Cha.rmiDg
and plans to set thingS right byrepW.:ingShrekwithherbeloved son~
ing. This Ftriry. Godtnotheris .
sweet old biddy and more sche~

tess

mafiab~ss (~Tony&p~o~

Tinkerbcllwings)anditseemsshe~
something on the King ·that rnak:es
~ a somewhat unwilling aq;6m~
plice to her designs.
.
To fulfill Fairy Godmother'sdtmands of offing Shrek, the King,~ .
listS his mpst accomplished assasptu•.
en
. J:
amysterious cat named Puss inbOOtf.
Shnk 2 continues where Shnk left Puss steals the show with his unco»off. Shrek, thelovable ogre, and prinventional fighting style, his look (Ilke
cess Fiona return from their honeyZorro;except,ofcoursehe'sacat... in
moon (the movie opens with a hilari- boots) and his accent..
ous montage of their honeymoon) to
In themeantim~, Shrekand Fiona
have a major fight and ShrekJ.eaves to
their swamp-home where Shrek is
faced with the scariest foe yet: the infind a way to make things better belaws. Fiona's royal parents summon . tween them and all the while Prince
the new couple to their casde in the
Charming is ttyingto edge his way in
land of Far Far Away, which is, fit-with Fiona: The plot twists and turns
involving such things as the Fairy Godtingly, far, faraway.
. Like any son-in-law, Shrek is less
mother's potions, mistaken identity,
than enthused at the prospect ofmeet-and giant cookies all culminating at a
ing his in-laws, especially given their . ball (where else?) celebrating Shrek
difference in, well,species.I3utoffthey and Fiona's marriage.
go anyhow, Shrek, Fiona, and their
The characters are charmingly
trusty (if annoying) steed, Donkey.
voiced by veteran Shnk talents lYlike
As expected, the in-laws are less
Meyers(Shrek),CameronDiaz(Fi~)
.than thrilled bytheirnew.so.n-in-law, . and~¥urpl:ly (Do~ey)~aswell
espedallywhen they expected Prince' as new cast members J oha Geese
Charming, literally. The king proceeds
(King),JulieAndrews (Queen),Rupert

,,

c

"

How do you frighten an,ogre and his donkey7lntroduC8 them to the in-laWs.

rePorts

Everett (Charming) and most notably Antonio Banderas (Puss).
Like its pre<i;eces$Or, Shnk 2 is
bursting with sight gags, winks· at
f1lirytales and pop culture references.
Some are just clever - like the
Versachery, Gap Queen, and Old
Navery stores that line the streets of
Far FarAway and then:d-carpettreatment Fiona and Shrek receive on arrival, complete withJoanRivers doing
the interviews.
Other spoofs are equally inspired

news
do an OJSimpson-styled
play-by-play overhead. Everything
from Mission Impossibkto Flosbdanceis
parodied so wen that it really makes
you pity the kids - they're missing
out on the best part of the Sbrek
movies!
'
The creators ofShnk2really have
an admirable attention to detail .:..everywhere you look on the screen
there's somet:hingto see (note the ''Sjr
Justin" poster on the bedroom wall,
a nod to Justin TImberlake's popular-

~likethe~tyled(~)

itywithteen~)""e.veq ~4calcu~ .. ·

chase ofShrek and cOtnpany; Shrekis,
of course, riding a white bronco and

ences mix with the more obvious
spoo'fs (Shrek sneaks into the Fairy
Godmother's lair not with guns
blazing but armed simply with the
claim that he's with the union). I was
especially impressed that the ginger-·
bread man had icing on !:ris knees
bondinghi~ body to his legs - a nod
to the original Shnk.
There is somethingfor everyone in
this movie. nus is a crowd-pleaser
with genume sweetness,. clever and
entertaining from beginning to end.
Wbata treat.
.
slywong@imprint.uwaterloo~ca

Terra Cotta Warriors: nqt a musical, and not that great
Continued from page 13
What's more, the claims made by
the producer (Law's wife) that this
new"accion-musical" formatisneeded
to replace the Broadway standards of
"comedic dialogue, tuneful songs and
Jight-heartedromance" arerather bold

1lSsetrlOOs forsucha~production.
Callmeold-fashionedandtraditional,
but a comprehetisible story is still

appreciated.
.. Furtbermote, the playboolc's in-

sinuation 1hatCh41ese~,l¢gp1<)t
ad:, prOduce good Songs, or tell agood .
story on pat with North Americans
(''Rather than competing in ~ of

traditional North American strength,
e.g. acting ability, comedic qualities,
and pleasing western tunes'') is igno·
rant as evidenced by the plethora of
excellentfilms,greatmJJSicandawatdwinningactots from China. The ChineseknOW howto act, tell a goQd story
and write good songs -even if
Dennis Law doesn't (to be fair, I'm
. sure he's an excellent vascular and
thora:cics~on, perhapS he ~hould
stick to his strengths).
Having.said all of this.. there !!te a
few good: things jiliouttbis.produc-

tion-forone. thecastisimpressive;
these talet1ted men aoowomen(there
are ()vet' 900£them in the cast) ~ye

clearly worked hard. There are a few
nicelycho!eographedscenes (thehanging sc~ne in-patticular) that are wenexecuted by the dancers and are enjoyable to watch. The martial arts arid
acrobatics are impressive; in addition
to the standard flips there. are some
creative~ticswithstringandpots.

Themusidans,alllocatedoffthemain
stage oil the balconies, are also good
~ a woriuulcplays the pi-pa (a traditional string instrument) and a man
plays a variety of percussions instru~
ments.
Oddly. the musicians are onlyemployed .between scenes; during the
scenes themselves, arecordingis used

(accordingtotheproducer'snotes,the
live performers are just there to augmenttherecordings). The<>perasinger
also does a credible job. _
The costumes are decent but unfortunately. there is ~ awful lot of
fake-looking metallic fabric thatadds
a gdish quality to many ofthe outfits.
The few non-metallic costumes, such
as the beautiful long red number featured on the cover of the playboOk,
were much more elegant and fitting. I
don't usually pay much attention to
the make-up, but the painted-on
moustaches on many of the principal
male dancers also don't do .any
favours for the look of the show.

The best part of thewholeproduction takes place during the curtain call
where talented acrobats do mini-demonstrations that are a treat to watch. It
makes you wonder why they didn't
focus on that for the show. Perhaps if
. this showwas revamped to feature the
acrobati<;s. the musicians and a.few
dances and the pretext of a·narrative
was dropped (as well as the applause
track that's inexplicably used in one
scene), this would be a decent cultural
show. As it stands, it is lUlincoherent
mess of a production - in any language and in any culture.
slywong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

her kind ofhysteria, let alone control
it the,way she does. Veering between
rock, punk and guitar pop in'almost
painfuno~fi, this is some of thelustiestmusicbC:ittgmade these days. "Take
the cap /Offthe pen,~1 she tells a lover
in "The Letter." ''Wet the envelope/
Lick and lick it." Please tell
you don't firtdBritney. Spears pllntillg in
pirik c~~ps sener t¥U'this. IMS] .'

and UW alumni. Ian Leung, an
IMPRINTSTAFF
electronica artist, is currently a student
in the engineering faculty.
Several new acts were conftrmed this
Arda OCIlI, one of several people
week to appear on Warrior Nation, a who pored through over 50 entries to
compilation CD produced by CKMS select the winners, expressed exciteand FEDS thatwill feature talent from ment about the announcement. "I
'theUniversity of Waterloo.
am proud to say these talented musiSeveral acts including Masters and cians will be added to the CD lirlc-up,"
Modems, Sweetline, and Ian LeUng he said. "They are represetltativeofthe
will join local talents such as swint- great talent and spirit atUofWthat
rockers Samsara, K-Whip-hop artist oftengges u111loticed." Ocal,'als()
Brown (who is currently producing known as AoK;is the hostofCKMS'
his own video for Much Music) and Wednesday night pre-Bomber radio
Bombshelter regular Craig Cardiffon ' show and co-organizer of t:j;le W.arrior
"
the album, slated for release this Sep- Nation project.
tember.
The ftnal selections, rounding out
All ofthe acts appearing on the CD the 18 spotS on the CD, will be made
~e,artiS'tS:wtid, atone time or anothei, this weekend. All proceeds from the
have been affiliated withtheUniver- sale of Warrior Natiol!will go towards
sity of Waterloo. AIt-rock band Mas~, a yet-imnamedcharity.
ters and Modems,for example, feaFor more information, please visit
tmcs' currentUW undergrads. http://rad,i02.feds.ca/warriomation
Sweetline, who will be featured this
or http://www.ckmsfm.ca/aok.
year at UW's Canada Day celebrationis
ianb@imprint.uwaterjoo.ca .
comprised ofhoth current students

The election on
June 28
is about
, ,your future.

Capitol

Everybody is sick of hearing about
. how It's been a really longtime since
the last Beastie" Boys album. We all
know how long it's been. So let's skip
that and get right to the point.
The first thing one notices is that
To the5 Boroughsis an almost nostalgic
effort that relies heavily on a kind-of
back-ta-basics (well,basics circa 1994,
anyway) drum-and-bass-based hiphop sound.
The upsiae is that To the 5 Boroughs

usually lack the resonance oftheir many
politically-minded counterparts.
Nonetheless, though they certainly
take themselves more seriously on
this album, Beastie Boys' trademark
humour is all over this album (especially the notes in the lyrics sheets apparently their editor makes really
good mint julep), and there is a welcome optimism on To the 5 Boroughs
that is often missing from political
music.
In particular, the references to post9/11 New York avoid wallowing in
doubt or pity - tellingly, the New
York City skyline depicted throughout the insert路deftantlyincludes the
towers of the World Trade Centre.
Ultimately, this. serves as an abstract for the whole album: as bad as
things are, as dispossessed as the
Beastie Boys or their fans are with the
world, they al~ays have the power to
make it better.
And To the 5 Borottghs is nothing if
not a call to make it better.
Ian Blechschmidt, Imprint Staff

easily pleases the ear of anyone who's
become a fan any time in the last 15
years. The downside, though, is that
it almost seems like a step back, espe~
ciallyaftersome oftheirmoreprogressive work on Hello Nasty. And with
acts such as Outkast andJay-Z upping
the ante in thehst year, resting on the
same bets they made with theirpreviousalbums seems risky - especially
since it means fewer killer intros ala
"The Move" or ''Intergalactic.''
More interesting than the sound,
though, is thefact that To the 5 Boroughswilllikely be remembered as "the
political album."Beastie Boys are rarely
shy about expressing their political
views, but this time around they get
downright overt.
Clearly displeased aboutAmerica's
direction under George Dubya, more
than a few songs take the Bush adminc
istration to task over its policies on the
environment, gun control and (dub)
Iraq.
Unfortunately, their occasionally
forced and often platitudinous rhymes
tend to sacrifice form for content, and

Pauline Richards
Kitchener-Waterloo

www.greenparty;ca
573-3794

"Whenever the Green 'Party has held the balance of
power, it has acted with integrity. " .
Victor Chan, author, "Tibet Handbook"

To register to vote call 1..800-463-6868
Authorized by the official agent for ..Pauline Richards

more oil reserves for him artdhis
Texan buddies. Pearl Jam sum up
George W. perfectly with this song.

With the federal election upon us all
that we hear about is Liberals this,
Dea<iPrez - "AnimaIin the Man"
Conservatives that, NDP ...who is the
Moving from rock to hip hop, the
NDP?The mediais constantly throwgroup DeadPrez is a political hip hop
ing~ewinformation a.bout these par~
group that sings about being black
ties and their candidates. Amazingly,
and growing up in the south. One
the news media usually jumps on the
song that I like is "Animal in the
handwagona little late compared to . Man." It takes its view ofl'evolution
others,,such as music. After all, music
from the book Animal Farm, which
has been political as long as it;s been
was also a strong political tooL The
around.
.
lyrics of this song can be related to the
book and revolution, and to the life of
a black male in the south.
PearlJam - "Bu$hleaguer"
PearlJam has always been a great su:p~
porter of the Bush adnunistration.
U2-''WalkOn''
One ofmusic's largest political juggerWell, when I say supporter I really
nauts is Bono from U2. Lobbying
mean, they think he is. a bumbling
redneckldiot, but then again, to some
c~nstantly to help third world nations
that is a compliment. The song
around the world and to fight AIDS
and starvation in Africa, Bono has
"Bu$hlCllger" isabout,GeorgeW.
l)ushand his reign as (for some, argue
demanded respect and co-operation
from political leaders worldwide. A
ably) the wor~e'presidentin US hisBurmese leader, Anug San Suu Kyi
wry. My favol,lrite line in the song is,
"He's notaleadet, he's a Texas leaguer."
and her struggle inspired the song
I think it d~scribes him pe&ctly,with
"Walk On" for free election in Burma.
his llficannyability to disguisea war as
The song has'lines such as, ''You're
packing a suitcase fora place none ofus
an act ,againstterro~ism,. only to wrin

have been." Describes how one pei~
son can make a difference politically
and makes many sacriftces to do so.

Rage Against the Machlne''War within a Breath"
I think almost every song by Rage
has a political message. This one
particularly stood out because ofits
openingline, "Evetyofficial that comes
in/Cripples us leaves us maimed/
Silent and tamed." They are talking
about the US government and how
theyareable to disguise any mistake as
something they've planned. The government has control over everyone;
Americans are notlivingin a free country at all. The funky beats that are
essential in any Rage song help drive
their point into our minds ..
Ifox@imprint;uwaterloo.ca

SLC ~ punks gets political for federal election
Matt Charters

to the show, where maybe they'll get
an idea of what the local youth are
interested in.
Headlining the show is apolitically
. The third installment in the all ages
charged punk rock outfit from WiruiipUnk rock extravaganza that is SLC
peg called the Brat Attack, who convey
Punks is all set to go for Saturday,June
their message ofsocial consciousness
26 - and this time things are getting
. through some hard hitting music.
political
Also appearing at the show will be
This "Rock the Vote" edition of
another Winnipeg band, One Night
the concert series comes only two days
before the polls open for the Federal . Only, plus local bands the Charge and
the Rotten. Rounding out the lineup
election on June 28, and for concert
is the Decay from Guelph. All the
organizer Moses Bogart, it's all about
bands are political to some degree, So
getting the word out. He's put the
get ready to hear some discourse as
voting spin on the concert so that
well as some good 01' rock 'n' roll.
university students and local youth
Ifyou can't make it outto the show
can get informed about the upcoming
on Saturday, there are still some ways
election -where to get registered to
you canftnd out about the candidate's
vote, when to vote and so on. He's
views on youth issues. Bogart is interalso invited each of the candidates out
IMPRINT STAFF

resJuly2lO4

-notvalidwilholhercoupons
-OlleCOUpQflperperson

~

路.soMmING
DIffERENT

viewing all the major candidates on his
CKMSradio show, Straight Outta the
Pit. You can catch liberal candidate
AndrewTelegdiand Green candidate
Pauline Richards this Thursday,June
24 from 9:45 - 12:00 p.m. (NDP
candidate Edwin Laryea and PC candidate Steve Strauss were interviewed
June 17) . You can also visit
www.kwyouthvote.com to ftnd out
where the candidates stand and how
you can get involved.
Your best bet is still to attend the
show - for $5 you can witness some
of the best punk rock the scene has to
. offer and ftndout all about the election at the same time. The show starts
at 6:30in the SLC multipurpose room.
mcharters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Camera phones are the latest craze for
cellular companies, but thanks to it
UW grad, they're not just gimmicks
anymore. Simon Woodside, a 2001
MathlCS grad, tookan existing prodll.ct and gave it a new purpose when he
created Semacode.
'. The system allows camera phone
uSers to take pictures of semacode
symbols, which are thendecodedinto
,'I'
.
standardintemet LJRLs. Once decoded,
the URLis presented to the user on the
phone,andthe user can then confirm
that the URL was indeed decoded
correctly and be taken to the Web site
on their phone. This method is much
simpler than trying to type an entire
URLusingthedialpad ona cell phone.
Although Semacode only came to
fruition about six weeks ago,
Woodside fIrst began thinking about
harcodesand cell phones three years
ago. "I was really impressed with the
ftrst version of W AP (the wireless
internet system)," he says. "It was
highly limited but showed huge potential, I thought, because it was on a
new kind of portable akvays-on device I was thinking aboui: systerns

Canada, but. the ultim.ate aim. is to

:yher"'Pto£.1.1','~2ql~P~l;>lishc.h~1l1le1s

Concept art: ASf;Nlce bound rocket first brought up to 24,400m by a balloon.

Space flight: the new extreme sport
Ft:.'efiey's rocket hasaHydroxylTerminatedPoly-Butadiene (m~B) core
fueled by nitrous ~xide. It i; not the
highest-performance fuel, but it proLaunchinginto outer space is the next
extreme sport, according to Brian' vides high reliability. The heliumballoon system the team has adopted
Feeney, Team Leader of the DaVinci
allows them to increase the rocket size
Project, dne of 27 teams competingin
the X-Prize. Initiated in 1996, the Xto 6.5 feet in diameter. A· ground
Prize is an international competition
launch for a rocket of that size would
to design, build and develop a craft
only rise 20,000 feet.
Marek Krzeminski, a former UW
capable oflaunching three people 100
electrical engineering student, is the
kminto space, return them safely, and
simulation and control team leader.
repeat the achievementwith.the same
vehicle within two weeks. The X -Prize
His main contribution is the space
founder, Peter H. Diamandis, preflight trajectory simmator, which give~
dicts that the competition will be won' real' time data flow. With inputs like
launch altitude, launch angle, wind
in the next few· months. In fact,
SpaceShipOne, a California based con- . forces, fuel ~f6ciencyand rocket mass,
tender has set aJune 21 launch date.
the flight path and dynamics are determined. Krzeminski has dreams of
Two Canadian teams, the Toronto
based DaVinci Project and the Lo.n"one day walking on the moon. or
don based Canadian Arr()W, are rising
floating up in space" and hopes the
."X-prize makes this possible for civilto the challenge.
ians."
The $10 million prize is based on
an insurance system that expires on
Mostdefinitely, financing has been
the most substantial obstacle the
January 1,2005. Ifno team has won by
that date, the cash reward is revoked.
DaVmci project has encountered. The
To date, the DaVinci Project.has
public has supported theirpioneering
spirit and the manpower and knowlreceived over $4 million in cash arid in
edge in Canada has proven to be readkind services and materials. Currently
ily available. More than halfthe rocket
200 members are activelyinvolved,alis complete, but operations continue
though over 500 people have particio
24/7 worldwide in Canada, the UK,
pated over the project's lifetime. The
currentplanis t~ have a helium balloon
the U.S. and Russia. The first ever
Canadian government approval to
carry the vehicle to a height of 24,400
launch took months, but the wait was
metres, before the rest of the vehicle
proceeds to its destination height of worth it forKrzeminski, who proudly
has his name on this historic docu100 km. At 85km, the self-stabilizing
ment.
spherical capsule separates. Each piece
has its own parachute system, comAssuming success, Brian Feeney
has plans to go commercial. In fact, an
plete with redundancy for safety. The
eight-person vehicle is already in deselected launchsite, the Kindersley Air. portin Saskatchewan, was chosen due . sign phase. How much would ~ passenger have to pay for what Feeney
to safety considerations, regional supdescribes as the next extreme sport?
port and favourable weather condi~
tions that provide a high number of Initial costs, including astronautttaining, would likely be $10'0,000 US per
possible launch days.
Reyna Jenkyns
SPECIAL TO JMPRINT

~pan(ho 10 16catiorisworldwide'with
four ships per location. To minimize
the development costs, Feeney proposes a partnership with existing vac
cation resorts.
Feeney advises, "Don'tbe afraid to
.take on anything. Ta~e action. There
are no barriers." He has more advice
for mechanical and aerospace engineers, stressing the importance of
computational fluid dynamics and especially finite element analysis. He
has been underwhelmed by the skill
sets of Canadians in this area. U nfortunately, UW students that took a
shot at CFD for the DaVinci project
wereundertrainedand produced many
errors. Itwas like runrunga classroom.
The Canadian Arrow· has' announced plans for testing this August
. at an Ontario location. Testing will
verify proper functioning of the powerful solid rockets that pull the crew
cabio to safety in the event of problemswhile on the launch pad, separation of the nose cone from the crew
cabin and, deployment of parachutes
for safe recovery of the nose cone and
crew cabin. Aerodynamic tests will
ensure that the rocket can reach the
correct altitude without demonstratingabnormal flight characteristics.
A caption on the DaVinci Web site
conVinces me that this competition
could impact all Canadians: "As a Canadian team, this is about showing
the world that there is more to Canada
than agteat beer commercial. As Prime
Minister Diefenbaker onCe said,
'Canada had too much geography and
not enough history.' By winning the
X-Prize, Canada can go the distance
and make world history by demonstratingworld class results as innovators."

and \'Voodside notes .that anyone is
free· to make their own software to
generatesemacodes, as long as they fIt
theSemacode specifications.
There are two steps used to retrieve
the URL from t!te semacode: image
recognition and decoding. Although
the Semacode is always square on the
page, it usually doesn't photograph
'that way, due to slight shifts in, the
camera angle and image distortion
through the lens and imaging softWare;M'i iswhere th,e ~~fa!H~gr&­
tioncomes in. It entails a variety of
· well-known image recognition tech,niques, "such as thresholding, edgedetection and line fItring, to locate the
symbol within the photographic image." Theoutline of the image is found
. using a fInder pattern ("which is two
solid· edges and two dotted edges,")
and then the number of modules'
("the little dots') are counted. The
software then locates each module in
a grid and creates a two-dimensional
area of module values ("light or dark,
· which represent 1 and 0.")
This image recognition process
· outputs a binary raw data stream,
which then goes into the decoder.
"ISO 16022 (the data mattixstatld.nd barcode symbology) specifies a

ofinformation about UPC codes giving information like allergy alerts, better prices, and eco-friendliness, to
name a few.
"After about a year or so oftinkering
with UPC codes, I came up with the
idea of embedding a simple URL into
. a one-dimensional barcode like Code
1'28. This was the first incarnation of
the system called Semacode."
Woodside notes that barcode readersforcellphoneswere expensive at the
tim~, so he focused mainly on laptops
and the free Cuecat readers that were
widely available then.
"I was reading about camera
phones after they ftrst came out when
the light bulb clicked on. I realized that'
it would be possible to usethe camera
builtin to the phone to read barcodes."
Unlike one-dimensional barcodes
such as UPC codes or Code 128,
'Semacode uses !he publicdomain data
matrix standard barcode symbology,
which is a two-dimensional barcode.
''1 could breakout of the limitation of
line barcodes and go with a two-dimensional, sqqare barcode to almost
any length ofuRL," Woodside explains.
Now that the system is up and run,rung, Woodside is trying to popularize
the system:by supporting more phones
and trying to licenSe the software to
operators andgettingmanufacturers to
pre-install the Semacode software on
their phones. «Semacode was used at
Monday'sNokiaConnection2004event
in Helsinki, Finland," Woodside
proudly states. ''1twas pre-installed on
over200Nolcia 761Ocameraphones that
were given to attendees, and used as part .
ofthe registration process;"
The Semacode creator (to create
semacodes by typing in URLs) is free,

random.ization pattern algorithm to

spread out the bits across the code to
increase resistance to image damage,"
states \'Voodside. H\Ve reassemble
according to the specifications, and
then we perform the specifIed ReedSolomon error correction, which is a
fairly advanced type of error-correction that can recover from more than
half of the bits beingincorrect."This
technique recovers the whole data
stream, which is then decoded.
W00dside points out that the data
stream is encoded in ASCII format,
which makes thefmal decodingprocess fairly simple.
The Semacode system currently
onlyworks on SymbianSeries 60 camera phpnes, such as the Nokia 3600,
Nokia 6600andSiemensSX1,among
others. Woodside plans to port the
system OVer to UIQ~based camera '
phones (such as the Sony Ericsson
P800 and P900) and camera phones
that support theJ2MB (Java 2 Mobile
Edition) platform.
Possible uses include placing
Semacodes in strategic locations for
travelers, which would then link to a
mapping web site to show them where
they are; using semacodes on posters
forevents,whichcould,then takeyou
to the web site for buying tickets; and
callingacab toyour currentlocation by
placing semacodes at popular locations or intersections.
"Why would anyone want tonse
Semacodes? The possibilities are almost endless. The world seems like it
would be a very different place ifeach
physical object could be attached to
arbitrary virtual sites ~d actions."
For more. information, visit
'www.semac;;ode.org
dganthan@imprint.uwater/oo.ca

FRIDAY

2004,

uwaterloo.ca

.UW's Ellis vaults to. new Canadian record.'.'
<".

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Kitchener native successfullycopIpletes chaseto attain rig6rous:Canadian'Olympic standards for Athens
Ellis, who is ~o stranger to s~c;, cess, was an accomplished varsity
athlete durin!fh~iiifue atUW and
After tying, setting and betteting the was 200~ femaI¢ athl~te of tb.e year. '
Oinadian,women's pole vaulting However, herr~centmeteml,c rise to
record ill a matter of three weeks the upper echelon.of the Canadian ',: '
with three conseCutive personal best ',track and field scene has yet tOsihk
perfonnaiIces,fo~er UW track an,din. '
c
' '
field star Dana Ellis was featured in
"Oh my gosh,-it's crazy," admit'- ,
a Canadian Press (CP) pr~-Olympk ted Ellis in the CP, stoiy~ "!tall
>s~onr ..;>tbit J{ec~ntly appe-ared "on
happened all of a suddqn. Whenthe
www.canoe.ca.
first bigmarkhapperi~aatthe Hbu"Dana Ellisis vaUltingiJ? ~ome , ston meet, I thought, 'Wow, thls is
rare 3ir these days," pr3.ises the arti~ , awesome.' I had beerrjumping very, ,,'
de's author. The',article goes on, to. well in practice, clearing sQme bigger"
say that Ellis' r~peated impro've- heights, out I hadn't figured out
ments of the Canadian record last why I hadn't been able to' put1t all
month is " .. .launching her into the
together in a meet.'" ,
During her varsity career at UW,
, upper echelon of women vaUlters."
While competing at a meet in Elliswas,a fOUr-timeacademkall,.
Houston, Texas ort M:ay 'Z,tb.e Cartadiartian OUAall'-star arid a CiS
Kitchenei, native vaulted over 'all-Canadian. When sheleft Water•4.41m, which matched thepr~vious lo()sneheld the CIS p()levaultrecord ,
Canadian record that was held by ,(4,01m).:tvtanyWipun the UW ath:Stephanie McCann.
letics ,department ate happy to see
Buoyed bY,the factthatherlatest her finally achieving the stepping,.
mark was llcmhigher than her pte-' stoneS that are marking the way to-'
vious, personal best, Ellis vauli:ed wards her goal of representing
,~ver 4.42m less than a weeklater at
Cat;!.ada in Greece this August.
anothet: meetjn Modes!o, Callfot:' Ellis' 4.431Ilre~or4-settingtnark: '
nia to capture sole possession of the
on May 22 continues the steady irorecord. On May 22, she raised the 'provement Qf her performances'
record again, byt:ecording a mark: of,' over the past five years. Since 2000
4.43tn in Carson, Califorriia anhe , ,when ~he was reeordingv'auits with
Home Depot <;:o~petition.
a height of .(02m, she ~s seen
The CP atticle adds that Canada "roughly a 1Oetn pe~ year increase in
isn't well-known globally for its her results.
women ~le vaulters, but "Ellis'
With her exceptional performmatkof4.4;3 quickly dosed a gap and , ances in May, Ellis has already met'
propelled het to No. 7in the world." t.he Canadian Olympic stanqard foi. "
Since the atticle appeared on the' Athens. She now wily has to conCanoe Web site~ the 24-year~old Ellis~, tinue her current string of SUcCess at "
has competed in the Oregon Track' the upcoming ~anadian Olympic
" ','
,
"
' PHOTOS COURTESY STEVE DnUV"",,/U'" Po
Classic where she set a niarkof430m, trials'in Victoria, B.C. pn Saturday,
Dana
ElliS,aformer
UWpoie
vaulting
star,
has
recently
achieved
international success. (Below left)
which was more thangood'enmigh July 10.
.
Ellis
shows
off
the
2002Waterloo
female
athlete
of
the
year
award
thatshe captured. (Above)Ellis,
to put her in a four-way tie for, secrePresenting the Warriors, prepares to sail, at a past varsitr competition•.
~nd placeoverall, butithasdtopped
·11/itb rep0Tts from OW Athletics
her international ranking back down, •
to number 30.
' rm"lachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca'
Rod McLachlan

IMPRINT STAFF '

' , ' j

'HeetIlsketkselected 'to compete' in World
University Rugby, 'Championship" in 'China

.-Heemskerk set to compete in
Beijing. ,
On Jut;!.e 14, Canadian
, InteJ!Utli:versitySport(CIS) announced
tbe Canadian team, and staffthat are to
compete in the~uguraI2004 Federation Internation.ale du Sport
,Universitaire (FISU) World UniversityWomen's 7-on-7 RugbyCharllpionship. UWfouith-year centre Kristy
Heemskerk was one of the names to
(be announced that Will help lead

Canada tointemationalsuccess at the
,FISU champi9nship, which will be, ,
hcldinBeijing, China.
'
Last oCtober Heemskerk earned'
. all-Canadianhopours for the second
time in her varsity career. This latest
announcement caps offanotherhighly
successful season for the Waterloo
native.
In atldltion to :fIe~mskerk, an all,starrosterthatincludesKateHamiI.:,

TheHtunberCollegeHaWksmen's
team and, the University of British
tpnandJill~oftheUniversityof
Columbia Thunderbiids women's
Alberta PaiIdas, as ~ell~ Concordia's
teamw~n the 2004 tahacfum Uamrthree-time all-Canadian, Sommer ,sity I, College Golf Championship,
Christie will headline the Cana~ whlchwasheld()fl May 31 toJune4.
team.
" With a team score of 1260 in the '
Matt Parrish will assist UniversiJ:Y fo\U'-round championship the Wa'of. Ottawa Gee-Gees' head coach ' terloo W~ors men's tt:am finished
Suzanne ChaUlk in managing the
eighth out ofthe 10 schools that made
.
squad.
the cut.
''We have every ~ason to expect
'that this squad will be very competiSee BRlEFS~ page 19

IIpplal,sporls

FRIDAY~jUNE18,2004

High h~ndicaps and.hot tempers
This is the moment where the golf
.
betrays me.
As my ball flies in a banana-shaped
trajectory deepintQ the nether regions
ofaheavily-woOdedarea,I conCede the
; , fact that my hopes,my!keams andmy
g.eri~yvoc:W~arenOwaIlgonfi
Virtually all of my' tee. cShots are
honjply sliced" as myball seems 1:0 be
I have co~ to thecbnclusionthat I
maineti~ally drawrito hazards; poor
hategolf."'
~ys~df6~!ltstotheinun+t~ll!fI:()f

AdaIR McClle.,
TWI-MI."E.WAlllfIG'

pqtter i~ the eas~est club lrt the b\lgto
snap.
; By th~!ime I rea~ the 18th hole,
~~ gruP~fgblfhas:seiiou~ly kicked
my ass. But then; the game delivers its
tJlost'frustrating blow.

Lesniak, who'attendedHamilton's
'. Bishop Ryan High SchoO!, has been
The Hawks won with an impres- an exceptionalleftside hitter for not
·sive combined team score of1204.
only her secondary school but also for
, . O~th~ local scene, tivals Guelph the national champibn Waterloo Tiand Western finiShed in seventh and gers for the past two seasons.
nm,threspectivelywith team scores of
The Hamiltpnnative played club
1~51 and 1261. ~estoga College
volleyball for the Hamilton Seekers
~.oile of the 12.men's teams that
from 1997 to 2001 prior to her time
didn'tlnakethe cut.Westem's wom- with the Tigers.
en's. team finished in second place
"Gaby is an impact player with
with a score of 141 '7.
outstanding physical ~bilities," com, Eachuniversityandcollegefielded mented Grieve. "She has been suca five-persQn team at the champion- cessful at every level of play, and I
ship, which was held at the par-73 .expectthls to continue with the WarWyldewood Golf and Country Club riors. She is .one of the most dediin Hornby, Ontario.
catedyp~.athltf~J,:~eJ~lHe~~~~s.
. . UW's teamwascomprisedofMark Gabywillkve an excellentacaaemic
Burke,JuSrlnFluit,MarkVanderBeek, and athletic experience at Waterloo."
Jaspteet Walia andJud Whiteside.
Lesniak, who is a provincial beach
Whiteside led the way for Water- volleyball champ in 2001 and 2003,
100 with two rounds of 73.
will be a kinesiology major this fall at
This is just the second ye!lt the ' Waterloo in the hopes ofexploring a
championship has.been held.
,career in physiotherapy.
"I like the atmosphere and the
people at the university," Lesniak
National Champion Lesniak joins
cotnnIented on Waterloo. ''Ever since
Warriors
participating in the Ontario Summer
Waterloo WartiorsheadcoachJason Game$ in 2{)02, l wanted to attend
. Grieve'shardwork:atscqutingoutnew Waterloo and play volleyball with the
r~ts is paying off dividends, as the . Warriors."
k.r.JQ~ledgeable benchhoss recen,tiy
-with ,:ports jro;n UW Athletics
~unced thathighschool volleyball
0/