After months of alleged harassment and threats, Karen Elson has filed a restraining order against her husband, a ghost named Jack White, and claimed that he is unfit to be a parent.

The two split on supposedly amicable terms two years ago, even throwing a "breakup party" to prove it was all good in the hood. However, Elson says she's been receiving threatening emails and texts from White — to whom she had been married for six years — and “fears for her and the children’s safety as a result of this harassment." Also, it appears that a large component of his reign of terror (the words "violent temper" are used) is uncontrollable-musician-id based.

White wanted Elson to contact their kids’ private school in an effort to get their kids out of a class in which another entertainer’s child was present. White said that he feels that entertainer “ripped off” his music, the order said.

In another incident, White berated Elson when she attended the wedding of a rival musician. Again, he was upset because this entertainer also “ripped off” his music, according to the order. The musician was unnamed in the court filing.

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Any guesses? I am voting Randy Newman.

Elson says she's been chasing down White for months over settling certain terms of their split and parenting rights, but he has refused to involve lawyers who would potentially "rip him off." The custody hearing is August 29th. On the bright side, all of this will hopefully lead to a boozy girl dinner with Jack's other ex-wife Meg White, who seems cool as hell. [Buzzfeed, Rolling Stone, Independent]

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AaaAAAaand the Simon Cowell telenovela continues unabated. His (former) friend Andrew Silverman has named Cowell as a co-respondent in his divorce papers with his estranged wife/Cowell's baby mama Lauren Silverman, citing adultery. The Silvermans have each released a statement; Andrew's mentions "resolve all outstanding issues with my wife." Which seems like weird wording for a statement regarding divorce, but what do I know?

Meanwhile, an insider says that Cowell was "shellshocked" when he found out Lauren was pregnant: "The news stunned Simon because he absolutely had no plans on becoming a father at this time, if ever. Simon loves his life being single and not having to answer to anyone and that changes now." (The NYDN adds that Cowell "feels tricked" and "assumed that she was on birth control" — but there's no proof of this thus far.) However, he has vowed to "step up and take responsibility," i.e. stand in the delivery room and do this. [People, Radar Online]

Oh and TMZ photoshopped Simon Cowell's head over Hester Prynne's body, which is a fantastic reason for ZombieNathaniel Hawthorne to come eat us all. [TMZ]

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Our Lady of Eternal Winfreyness Oprah has a hard time crying on cue, which she discovered while filming Lee Daniels' The Butler.

“I have problems crying,” she said at a panel at Hearst Tower on Wednesday. “Everybody thinks that I’m a good crier, an easy crier. Gayle [King], at one point called during the ‘Oprah’ years, and said, ‘You’re cryin’ too damn much. Every day I turn on the TV, you’re cryin’ over something.’ I go, ‘Well, I’m just feeling it!’ ”

Their rep has announced that Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are having their second kid — the first, Noah Shannon, was born 10 months ago. "I can confirm Megan is expecting her second child with her husband Brian. They are both very happy." Coooool. [E!]