Choices

At some point in the future, we will look back at the life we have lived. Will we be proud of what we’ve accomplished? Will we think, “Yes, I’ve made the right choices. I was carried by my dreams. I lived an honest life in accordance with my values. I accomplished what I had to do.”

Choices are what make up our lives: what we wear, how we eat, where we go, and who we socialise with. Take the dreaded office meeting, for example. Even before entering that one room, we make a choice. Do we meet each other with doubt or with confidence? Do believe in the potential in others to wow us and see only the time and effort they have put into their presentations; or, just as easily, do we see the flaws and criticize their every mistake, be it a misfitted suit or a grammatical error?

But it’s not these choices I’m referring to. I’m referring to the ones we subconsciously make – the choices of what we want to focus on and see. Do we truly see what’s in front of us? Or do we make choices of what to focus on?

Of course, we can see all the things that do not work and put up lists of things which are not attainable – such as the shape of that body we want and others have, the perfect version of our CV, the perfect husband or line of lovers, the perfect anything we ever want, even when we don’t really want it.

We can choose the same friends, the same challenges, the same arguments and the same obligations. We can choose the same lovers and used-up, impossible relationships; there is greater confidence in even the greatest pain than the daring tread of new roads.

We can keep ourselves stuck in everything that did not work and keep others stuck in the same view. It is in this way which we guarantee that we will never move, but instead be in the same deadlock over and over again. Parked. Disabled.

We can choose the pain. We can remind each other of all the errors that have been made. We can criticise and judge a person even before meeting them. We can stick to the cold, the bitter memories, loss, and anger at being abandoned or misunderstood. We can choose to feel mistreated and neglected.

Then again, we can also choose a completely new angle: to see the options, to see all the beauty in even the most troublesome moments.

We can expect that everything will end well, that things will turn out for the best, that there is higher meaning in every moment, and that all the rest is just a bittersweet learning process. We can meet every single person with hope and faith. We can choose to love – even when we most want to hate. We can choose that every minute must be seized, held and enjoyed in even the most impossible seconds. We can choose life.

Pernille Aalund is director of innovation at Aller Media – one of the largest media companies in Scandinavia. She built her career and her fulfilling life in unison, without making sacrifices. She is the author of Limitless Life.