KIMMEL: Now, what do you think of his efforts to protect us from carbonated beverages and the like?

BILL MAHER: I don’t like it. You know, I think it gives liberals a bad name. I really do. It makes liberals look like bullies who want to tell people what to do. And they never met a regulation they didn’t like. I mean, obviously we do have a problem with child obesity. I don’t want our children to be 99 percent Mountain Dew. But this is not the way to go about it.

You know, I mean, because, first of all, we all do something that hurts our health, you know? We all eat stuff we shouldn’t. Probably the optimal food for primates is bread, fruit, lawn clippings and rain. But at a certain point that gets old. And we just don’t want, I mean, we don’t want to be a nanny state like this. I mean, you know, I don’t know what Mayor Bloomberg has in mind, but there’s something wrong about the seventh richest man in the world sitting in bed at night thinking, “You know what people shouldn’t do? Drink too much Sprite. Let’s make that a law.” That makes me want to join the Tea Party and marry Ann Coulter, you know, and that’s not where I want to be.