Tag: Some blog humor fom Geo Dell

Burned at the steak or how the Salem witch trials might have happened…

All of what follows was painstakingly researched for about three minutes at my own expense and it bore out to be completely true, at least from my own perspective of wanting it to be true. So, there is that to read which I will cite as a positive.

In 1028, long before we assumed that anyone was burned at the stake, John Tarbarrow, a judge in Kessington township, a now defunct township that at the time was situated at 17nsw of the former township of Kessington, the true location of which has been lost to time and faulty record keeping which was a mistake common to most Judges at that time, Windows Archaic 11 having not yet been invented yet.
In any case on this date Judge Tarbarrow was grilling beaver at his outside open pit situated at or near the west bank of the river Black on the south branch when happened by the widow Smythe and the local sheriff Hobert Hawsley. They were out and about searching for the good witch Wilasah who had been missing for three nights at that point, having gone missing at a campfire witch outing three nights prior in the good farmer Tarbarrow’s field, Robert by name, the brother of the good judge.
“When,” inquired the sheriff “Would you say was the last time you might have seen the good witch Wilasah?”
The judge who never listened to anyone, mainly because he was deaf in both ears, thought the sheriff had questioned him about the chunk of beaver he had been grilling, which had now been burned in the fire because of inattention.
“Burned ‘at steak, I did,” replied the judge, speaking of course of the beaver steak. ‘at’ being the local pronunciation of ‘that’.
“I say,” said the widow Smythe, “You burned the good witch at the stake?”
“Aye,” the judge agreed. “Have to do another, I will.”
The sheriff, who was no slouch and depended on the judge for his job immediately set out to round up the other witches in the township and this began what we came to know of as Burning Witches at the Stake, or the Salem Witch Trials, which were a few centuries later, but country folk were slower to catch on and Al Gore had not yet invented the Internet so it took some time to get the news out. Once it was out Salem embraced it and rounded up their own witches and followed what they thought was the good Judges example.
I hope this has clarified this whole area of history for you and I am always glad to help, Geo Dell