A delightfully aware and exquisite childrenís tale about the dangers of fascism and the power of self-image, The King and the Mockingbird (Le roi et líoiseau) tells of a vainglorious kingís painting coming to life and deposing of its image-sake. This new king hunts down the also-risen portraits of a young shepherdess he admires and her lover-boy chimney sweep in order to steal her hand. Based on the work of Hans Christian Andersen, this affably subversive animated adventure was scripted by legendary Jacques Prevert (Port of Shadows, Children of Paradise). A wildly inventive treat and apropos fable, the film took decades to see release and was a big inspiration for Studio Ghibli founder Hayao Miyazaki.

TMNT TMNT 2EverestPompeiiOz the Great and the PowerfulJourney 2: The Mysterious IslandYogi BearJack Reacher: Never Go BackThe Magnificent SevenSan AndreasThe Huntsman: Winter's WarMonster TrucksClash/Wrath of the TitansJack the Giant SlayerG I JoeGods of Egypt

asking you to openly admit you liked some movie you'd never thought you'd see and later i'll thank you

I just saw San Andreas a couple months ago and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Between that and 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow, I apparently have an affinity toward movies about absurd global catastrophes bringing an estranged family back together.

If you didn't enjoy 2012, I can't imagine you'll enjoy San Andreas much. The key, to me, is to watch them as though you're watching a very dry comedy. The more self-seriously they treat the spectacle, the funnier and more entertaining they become.

i felt strongly compelled toward liking San Andreas because i thought normal people were going to tackle impossible scenarios, and thatís the essence of power derived from religion and cinema

i knew none of it was going to be believable so what i wanted to know was the Hollywood stuff.

the first shot doesnít have a person, itís hills. thereís the world. then a car on the street. and that takes me into this wild car crash which i think steals from both the Wachowskis and Zach Snyder and maybe Spielberg and Final Destination? it was awesome

i was in. the guitar strumming began. i knew the American spirit was in action via Hollywood pathways.

once everyone started talking i remembered i already knew the road ahead would be rocky. but The Rock was like ďjust doing my jobĒ i knew i was only being fucked by a dream.

the Rock started working and i kept watching. he was flying a helicopter in a canyon, ďtipping the hat.Ē and i was realizing that life obstacles can be overcome with skill and perseverance.

this is a human fact: sometimes i encounter problems in my life but theyíre rarely as well imagined as they are in movies. and when they are i think ďthis feels like a movie.Ē everything is outrageous and i i watch more and more actors behave approximately how i think normal people would during devastating scenarios. normal people would make the right decision.

once the big earthquake starts that shot of the Hollywood sign wobbling was ridiculous, but later when the guy is running down the stairs except for some reason he falls down a shaft that opens behind a crumbling wall: that was fully necessary and it was smart of them to include it.

movies about everything horrible happening is crucial toward a full perspective of human experience. positive.

this is a thing i will surmise: old people see movies about young people, but young people donít see movies about old people, which is why most movies are about young people, and i havenít heard this but my guess is that 99%ers see movies about the 1%ers but the 1% donít see movies about the 99. iím thinking during a scene of luxury atop of a skyscraper. hey at least not everyone is an actor. these are normal people being played by actors.

when skyscrapers started collapsing around the helicopter i was only asked to care about the helicopter, which made me feel weird. but then the underground parking lot scene made total sense and restored my faith.

a cool thing about Hollywood movies is when they piss me off if i stay patient i know they want to restore my faith

that was really helpful to remember when the movie became boring af for a short-long while. like it was short but felt long. seriously: some phone conversation detailed plans ahead bullshit.

i about nearly died of distraction until a gun was pointed at the back of The Rockís head. i like how exciting and open the world feels, based on the filmmakers needing to be able to find excitement at a momentís notice. this is the most shining and duplicable quality of Hollywood narratives: make your way back to fun asap. itís not much different from Cesar Airaís flight forward, i donít think. he just described it better

but the gun at the back of the head was just a slap in an audience memberís face. seriously the boring shit is thick. thereís this whole thing about the guy from Sideways being a professor btw. heís reminding non-la tourists that every fucking person who lives in LA is utterly terrified by our impending massive earthquake. scientists have been predicting weíre ready to bust for a long spell now. iíve heard responsible, reasonable people leave from LA, listing fear of the quake among their central considerations.

all the important parts of an action movie take place during the action. all the normal human shit kept happening but i just remembered my religion of cinema and that a movie is yin/yang, normal/ridiculous.

i saw the San Andreas fault split open amid the normal people shit and i knew the movie was reminding me that action was ahead. all this normal shit must be building up to serious trouble, i figured.

when The Rock was having flashbacks i remembered that Joe Dante mentions that watching bad movies is as educational as watching good movies. like i was seeing clear evidence that i should never do this particular thing The Rock is doing because iíll expose myself as obviously desperate to find human drama amid devastating widespread horror which isnít the foreground but the background aka oh Hollywood, you golden goose.

San Andreas tests my patience exactly as normal people do when they tell me stories. this movie felt like a normal person and didnít agree with me about what makes a movie good.

a string of startling revelations took place while i dreamt of life being more like how my imagination makes it. pta says you should watch a movie then go back and write it. i feel like i could write the drama of San Andreas better by like fucking accident. i could out-drama this sweetie movie in a single line iím positive. if any one person said one thing i could believe iíd shit my pants.

props to air traffic being reasonable during this severe land devastation. it was helpful to this movie that The Rock was the only person thinking of being in the air. heís a goddamn hero. every problem this movie throws at him he solves. like thereís this side-story about him skydiving his exwife out of an airplane onto a baseball field. The Rock does that casual and ends with a sex joke because heís a real man.

by the time the SF earthquake hits iím positive this movie is about real people with real emotions, which helps me a ton during action sequences which i couldíve become desensitized to by now. this is whatís tricky for this movie: it has to remind me to care about what iím seeing, even when iím used to seeing it. but this movie had known how to prepare me and i didnít follow along but i know that the SF earthquake was deeply moving and The Rock is a real man.

then, i had forgotten that it always feels intense to watch an object be removed from a wound. glass from the body: oof. that gets me! who was the first person to film glass being pulled from a person, thatís an answer i wish i had

by the time The Rock has to race to beat the crest of the wave, but a container ship and its propellers are encountered, i had once again fully entered the magical reality of movies.

lord: the tsunami was a drama which felt much different to me than the eartquake. such sad music. someone died who earlier the movie explained to me wouldnít be a big deal. he was really inconsiderate and didnít think of others so it was okay for him to die, although hollywood opposes the death penalty, so the devil makes himself sound like a normal person so that you will listen to him and never trust anyone ever is the point.

when the tsunami wave swept through the skyscraper i was amazed i was lucky enough to see this. wow. there was a snapzoom to waves flowing from skyscraper windows. incredible. the scale of imagination within cgi territory astounds me. thereís no fucking limit.

i nodded off while The Rock was performing cpr on his daughter. there wasnít a single shred of possibility his daughter would die within this movie. the swimming in the skyscraper scene was next-level Hollywood shit, i bought the whole thing. i was gripped. this was what this movie came to do. what this movie could imagine well: a flight toward the outer limits of performance.

then the monster was dead, would the movie continue? i was wondering. i like the Roger Corman rule: monster dead, movie over. yes. it was over there was a 7min credit scene. so itís a 1hr47min long movie.