Birthing Options

FTM. scared please help with advice

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babyygurl0714 wrote:

I am 20 years old and almost ten weeks pregnant. i am soooo scared of giving birth.i didnt think i could have babies and suprise. i have been watching so many videos of women getting an epidural and its just freaking me out. some say they felt the pain some say they didny i seen a couple girls jump when the needle was placrd and im afraid im going to be one of them. I want to cry just thinking about it. Im freaking out to the point where i told my man i didnt want him in there because im scared im going to be freaking out crying and screaming at him.i said im afraid he will laugh at me and hes just like noo. so my point is i have two twisted places in my lower spine to the right and two twisted to the left. and im scared i will feel it because its around the place of getting the epi. i also have cysts on my overies havent been in for my first prenatal. any tips or tricks or advice to calm my mind and calm me when i end up going to give birth and getting the epidural??? im also scared of birth itself and my man looking a t me down there. i dont want him to. can they set it up to where niether of us can see? thats just what im comfortable with. please help me!!!!

Don't fall into the YouTube trap. Your only ten weeks so wait to watch the videos and ask people you know about their birth experiences and what they liked and didn't like about their birth. Don't freak out and remember we were made to do this and you can do this. I suggest looking up birthing options and checking books out of the library about birth and different methods. We are all scared with our first birth but we all will make it through it. Best of luck and don't stress yourself out.

First, do NOT Google or YouTube anything. It sounds like it will just drive you crazy. Secondly, you have a lot of options when it comes to getting painkillers. Epidural are the most common, but you can also have painkillers come in through an IV. Third, talk to your doctor about your worries. He/she will be able to give you the facts and most reliable information on the subject. And don't worry. You have about 30 weeks to get use to the idea of childbirth.

First, just take a pause and breathe. You're carrying a baby--that's awesome! Second, remember that you're doing what you were MADE to do--women have been doing this for centuries and surviving it! And then those same women go and do it ALL OVER AGAIN. And sometimes AGAIN! lol! Remember that you don't have to have an epi if it's freaking you out. Also, your SO doesn't have to see anything (although while you're birthing, you may not end up caring, lol!)--he can stay up by your head and offer moral support, etc. Lots of women do it that way. You'll be fine. I'm pregnant with my 5th baby--I've had three, going on four, natural, med-free home births, and I can tell you that childbirth is not that bad at all! I mean, it's hard, but...so is mountain climbing and running a marathon, yet people do those all the time!

Epidurals ARE scary! I would suggest trying to go without. Your body was made to give birth! I would suggest staying away from the scary stories and videos. Most of those youtube videos are very played up and not realistic. You can have a towel/or your gown placed over you and keep your man up around the head of the bed so he wont see anything down there. The best thing you can do right now and up until your delivery is RESEARCH and prepare your MIND for the birthing experience. There are so many good books out there that will prepare you for managing the pain and stress of childbirth. Try some birthing classes, I am doing the Bradley classes. They really encourage a relaxing and med free birth with lot's of involvement for your guy too.

Hey momma. Needles are my worst nightmare. I'm the type that was more scared of the epidural than I was of labor! They numb the area. The numbing shot is not painful. You don't feel the epidural go in, some say they feel slight pressure, but nothing too bad. I felt a few quick pinches going down my leg, but it was honestly like a bug bite. The epidural was nothing. I didn't flinch, I didn't cry, I wasn't screaming bloody murder like I thought I was going to. Just soothe yourself, keep in mind the epidural vs labor pains... You would rather have the epidural!!! Tell yourself you can do it! I held a pillow and squeezed it, I concentrated on my breathing, and it was over before I knew it. (Sadly my epidural wore of- I was 9cm and felt full blown contractions, TRUST ME... You want the epidural!!) up until my epidural wore off, I had 2 naps, was laughing and talking with my family, I felt NOTHING!! It was magical!

Everybody told me "once your baby is born the pain you felt will be a thing in the past" and I never believed them. But it's true. The pain is gone once your little angel is in your arms... You will be fine. Trust me.

watch The Business of Being Born...you will see women giving natural birth who are completely serene. I'm ten weeks too with my first and I was terrified before I saw footage of a normal, physiological birth.

An encouraging and helpful series to watch on YouTube is the catching babies channel. Don't be afraid of Birth! You were made to do this, but it is a really great idea to get educated about what is going on during labor and birth and natural ways to manage pain and anxiety.

Hey there. At this stage I think you should aim to find compassion in birth rather than more information - compassion from your birth team (including your partner) and compassion from yourself. I'm launching a free video series on that at the end of Nov which I think could be of help to you if you are interested - you just have to register at www.lovealda.com/theheartofbirth You don't have to but it is there if you feel it could be what you need. Either way, try to define birth differently e.g. your journey to parenthood xxx

Stop watching videos. They are meant to be sensational. --no one wants to watch boring videos. Tell your man to stay by your head during delivery --that's where my husband has been and will be this time.

I'm a FTM and I understand how you feel. I recently had my baby on 3/24 and to add a little humor to your situation: once those contractions hit, you'll portably be begging for an epidural! Lol!! But honestly, the epidural was nothing in comparison to the pain of those contractions. It wasn't that bad.

i was told ill never have kids... im 34weeks 5days now... i have pcos. im living proof of you can have kids. as far as being scared, i am also. im more nervous bc i have to hace a c-section and before his due date bc im highrisk. ive been told by friends and family it will be ok that if needed to give it to god and he'll handle it. I think my mom is about the same as me being worried and scared. just breathe and take it easy. you have people that'll help you out

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