welcome to the world of me

Welcome to my blog! Why should you keep reading, you may ask? Because I am super interesting, of course! I'm writing to document my quest to be a published author and what could be more interesting (or funny) than that? Right?! That's what I thought.

The song, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” is like one giant hidden message.

CLUE #1: He knows when you’re sleeping.

WHAT THIS MEANS: Hello?! He’s totally Edward stalking people and watching them when they sleep! How else would he know?

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CLUE #2: He knows if you’ve been bad or good.

WHAT THIS MEANS: He knows because he can READ YOUR MIND!!!

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CLUE #3: He lives forever.

WHAT THIS MEANS: Does this need an explanation? Totally not buying the farce they tried to sell in, “The Santa Clause.” He’s way too smart to fall off a roof and die.

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CLUE #4: He travels all over the world in one night.

WHAT THIS MEANS: He has super human speed! Have you ever heard of a vampire that wasn’t freakishly fast?

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CLUE #5: He does all of his business at night.

WHAT THIS MEANS: Whether he’s afraid of bursting into flames or blinding people with his sparkle, the fact remains that he only comes down from the North Pole at night. And he lives at the North Pole where it is dark 24/7 during his busy season. I’m going with the theory that he hibernates during the summer as to not freak out the elves. This is also why he has to send out “helpers” to work the mall circuit.