Tuesday, April 23, 2013

When I was 16 I made up my mind to seduce a 27 year old. He was friends with the guy who ran the local arcade and me and my friends knew the staff and used to hang out and loiter and smoke cigarettes and stay after closing. It all seemed pretty awesome back then.

The older guys usually stayed in a corner and played tournaments of fighting games and I would usually beg one for a ride home (if I got home at 11 I was still on time for curfew, but my parents would be asleep and wouldn't know a random person had taken me home and not a friends mom like I usually said). The older folks usually didn't mind taking me home but they would always laugh and pick on me for being the youngest of my own group of friends and not being able to drive. Once or twice one of the guys would make a joke about me "owing him a peek" for driving me and eye up my outfit (North Carolina Summers at 16 mean wearing as little as possible). I always laughed it off or flirted back, just because even back then I knew that was the way to handle it, if you got weird about it no one would wanna hang. So I kept it up and teased back and one guy in particular was fun to tease because he was obviously not a hit with women his own age. He had grown up braces (he later told me he grew up way too poor for braces and got them as soon as he could afford them because his teeth were a wreck before), a hint of acne scars (I was used to this because a lot of 16 year old boys have shit skin as well) and spent a lot of time referencing videogames and comics. I found this awesome. i loved both those things and finding a "grownup" willing to chat at length about how the spider man movies sucked because Peter Parker never made enough jokes like he did in the comics. So one day I get into a fight with my long distance bf (he had moved away part way through high school, but was now 19 and only able to visit once in awhile when he could get off work). He said we should "take a break", and i got upset. So when my older friend offered to drive me home, I went all out with the flirting. I sat in his lap in between him playing soul calibur and leaned over a lot to show some cleavage and generally just carried on. Now, all the other older guys (he was the oldest I think) would always just laugh about it and call me his "little girlfriend" and go on. But none of them ever would make a real move and none of them thought he would either. But that night, I had already made up my mind that the best way to make myself feel better about my bf being a jerk was to "seduce and older man". I think the power of it was appealing, I could tell that I had him wrapped around my finger. He had bought me fast food a few times and my house was far out of the way and he never asked for gas money, all of which I thought was pretty awesome back then. So that night when we got into the car I told him about my jerk of a bf and he acted sympathetic and said it sounded awful. I got a bit sniffly and asked if we could park for a few min before he brought me home, just because I didn't want to risk anyone at home seeing me come home upset and asking annoying questions. Then, after we parked, I made some comment about him always checking me out. He got all stammery and awkward and tried to say he would never do anything untoward, but I cut him off, by slipping off my ba under my shirt, right in front of him. He kinda let out a little groan and then gave in. We made out ad he felt me up and after that we regularly snuck around. I would go on long walks and call him, labeling his number under a fake name on my phone. I would walk to friends houses and have him pick me up to take me to the mall or a movie, and we always had sex in his car, because his mom was disabled and had to live with him, and showing me to her was a bad idea (she had MS, so her living with him was a real problem, not a "oh he's a loser who lives with his mom" thing). But we also had the fun of me obviously being 16. Once we ran into someone from his job, and they obviously could tell I was lying when i tried to say I was 18 (which already would have been much younger than him). Once he came and picked me up from my house and when my mom saw him, and asked how old he was, he claimed to be 22, and she just shrugged and let me go (my mom is...questionable). Eventually my parents found out his real age. My mom tried calling the cops and found out she had no case because I would old enough to have consented to sex. She made him come over and yelled at him once. It was awkward, and sneaking around got harder. I ended up dating a guy at school instead and the last time we hung out (we saw a movie as just friends) he tried to kiss me and said he missed me a lot. I am 21 now, but last year I got drunk and dialed him, I'm not sure why, maybe because it was just one of the number I remembered. He confessed to missing me so much, and that he had only had one gf since, but I told him we would never be together and I was sorry for bothering him and just hung up. It was a fun experience, but not a great relationship.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

I don't normally talk about this much on my regular blog, but I am a camgirl. I post sexy pics on a variety of sites and even do cam shows once in a while. It's something I started getting into in my freshman year and I really love it! I know a lot of people might judge, but it's fun for me. It makes me feel fun and sexy and powerful in a special kind of way. I never worry if people like my pics or whether I'm the most popular poster, but the interactions I get from posting my selfies is a lot of fun. I know it's not for everyone, but for me, this is a fun little hobby.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Spring is upon us and all I want is to wear more black! I know the stores are all pushing cute pastels and neon for the warm weather but I love the fact that once it heats up, you can play with more layers and textures without covering it all with a jacket and scarf. For spring I would love to have more variety and prints in my looks as well as more accessorizing.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

I love all shows! The best I've been to are the ones with World Inferno/ Friendship Society. They put on an amazing show and the energy in the room is always great. Imagine, a room full of punks waltzing in the mosh pit and reeling around. It's fun in a way no other show is, and everything feels more intimate and close because both times I saw them at slightly smaller venues. I also have been to Warped Tour a few times and liked it. It was hot and sweaty and there were more bands than I could keep track of. But I liked it, laying out on the grass, stripping down topless to escape the heat, and pouring water bottles over my head.I was never good at being neat and pretty at concerts. I dress to play hard, with things I can roll around and dance and mosh in.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

I have been a sucky blogger! Classes and feeling a bit under the weather have been keeping me form updating or even taking outfit shots. Hopefully I will be bakc on track soon. in the mean time, here is a review of an awesome book I got!

I just picked up an amazing graphic novel! Wet moon volume 1 by Ross Campbell. It is a story focusing on a great, diverse cast of alt women. The cast is AMAZING, it includes a variety of (fairly realistic) body types, skin tones and sexual preferences. The art is amazing, the characters are interesting and the story, while it starts off a bit slow and normal, has hints of deep dark things to come. The quite moments are the ones that stand out in the book. the random bits of Southern life that really sum up the awkward, painful and sometimes beautiful reality that is life. I really cannot wait to get the next book.