Russia's 'Guardians' Still Doesn't Feel Like a Real Movie

Russia is releasing its own superhero film called Guardians, and despite having a new trailer and everything, it’s hard to believe this is even a real film.

Guardians is a Russian superhero film in which a group of super-powered individuals stop Moscow from being destroyed by some kind of robotic invasion. The new trailer reveals that the individual responsible for the attack on Moscow is also the person who created these super-powered heroes.

While that’s not a lot to go on, the new trailer does feature more action scenes set to classical music, and I’m finally starting to understand bits of the film beyond, “what the hell is up with that bear man?”

As it turns out, there are four members of this Guardians team: a man who can control rocks, a woman who can turn invisible but also teleport(?), a man with two big swords, and a man who can turn into both a full bear, and also a half-bear.

At first, you might think the half-bear and the full bear are two separate characters, but as more of the film becomes available through promotional materials, it’s becoming increasingly clear that Guardians isn’t some strange fever dream, but in fact a real movie where a man can Animorph himself to different stages of, uh, bear.

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The rest of the cast seems pretty tame in comparison, and frankly it’d be pretty hard competing with a bear-man. When the only other people on your team are an Invisible Woman ripoff, a rock dude, and a swordsman, werebear might be Russia’s most exciting defense against robot invaders.