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I wake up every day absolutely grateful for being blessed with sanity of mind, where the ability to reason and logic is the greatest gift. This is what gives me the endurance through tough times, especially when I get embroiled in situations not within my control. At times like this, I try to stay as detached as possible (not always successful) and look for an alternative viewpoint as to what is commonly being associated.

I have chosen to take them as learning experiences.

What are ‘bad’ events usually turn out to be part of the manifestation to a majorly good one. Only if you have the good sense to learn from it, which means you need to first be stripped of what you have always been taught to think.

The past year I’ve met with people who got along with me just fine until they’d suddenly turn out of character. From being friendly and well-mannered, they become nasty. In the past I wouldn’t hesitate to give a piece of my mind, maybe even deliberately antagonizing them, but because I could see the reasons for their behaviour and the downward spiral that they were getting themselves more entangled in, I tried to be as understanding as possible.

In desperation, people would resort to crass means even if it oversteps their usual code of right conduct. They no longer had control over their emotions to see the severe consequences if they were to continue that way. I had to continually remind myself that I could either contribute to their downfall by giving in to my anger or put it to an end through being as diplomatic as possible. Basically be the change you hope to see in people.

Far easier said than done, choosing ethical conduct over temporarily self-gratifying retaliations with latent damaging results got me draining my reserves of willpower. Furthermore, I’ve to learn not to expect gratitude for being thoughtful, because nobody knew the other side of me. I could have chosen to be violent, or to plan a manipulative strategic revenge plan. But how often are we that evil? Most people do things at the spur of the moment, many times living to regret. Premeditated, intentional hurt is far and few.

When engulfed in states of disarray what is disheartening is that they choose to pick on the (assumed) mildest because they were more likely to get away… bullying the weak gives a higher chance of getting away. Here, I’m speaking for the lot of humanity. Think about how you smile to strangers yet vent your frustrations on those who love you (taking a moment for self-reflection I assume…). This is happening everywhere.

One of the irony of society, it seems for a certain price, men will sell out their own kind. Where ‘price’ can be potential loss and ‘sell out’ can mean turn against out of fear of the potential’s occurrence. So in fact the situations have yet to become. They are but an idea – the abstract; of what may happen. Little do they realize they are gravitating towards it by opting to fill the space from then until the fear’s material manifestation with more damaging actions.

Right precisely why I started The RealCare People, in order to promote discerning abilities and mutual respect for all. But I’m seeing why these are hard to adopt, because you may try with good intentions, the others may not reciprocate. The likelihood is mounting frustrations and you decide that you’re done with being the good guy. You succumb to what your inner devil tells you – ‘if you can’t beat them, you join them’. Over time each and every one of us has become a mirror image of one another.

Time for the ugly dose of truth, now if ever you feel victimized bearing the brunt of another’s loathing behaviour, that is exactly how someone else will feel someday at your expense. Even sometime before, I’m sure you’ve caused another to feel it. Unless consciously managed, this is going to be a never-ending cycle of blame, anger and chronic unhappiness.

We have all become selfish people, but because we want to protect ourselves from being hurt. It pains us. In turn we cause another and another to feel pain as well. Our fear of hurt make us shy away from who may possibly create that uncomfortable feeling, yet because we need to vent it somewhere, it ends up upon the more helpless or the ones who care about you.

Can you see it that way the next time somebody does something horrible to you?