Directions to New Hope Recovery Center:

On Sheffield one block north of the Diversey Brown line stop. Parking available in front of Core Power Yoga and on street.

Refuge Recovery is a community of people using the practices of mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness and generosity to heal the pain and suffering addiction has caused us and our loved ones. We follow the Four Truths of Refuge Recovery, a Buddhist-oriented path to addiction recovery, proven successful with addicts and alcoholics who commit to the Buddhist path of meditation, generosity, kindness, and renunciation. Beginners and curious healing professionals are welcome.

New Hope Recovery Center is located in Chicago and offers individualized alcohol and drug addiction treatment in a loving supportive environment. We support all avenues to recovery and offer two Refuge Recovery Meetings each week as well as SMART Recovery, NA, AA and CMA meetings. Contact New Hope Recovery Center at 888-707- 4673 (HOPE).

New Hope Recovery Center is pleased to announce Two Weekly Refuge Recovery Meetings
in Chicago. The meetings are held at 7pm on Tuesdays and Fridays at New Hope Recovery Center, 2835 N. Sheffield Ave., Suite 308, Chicago, IL 60657.

Refuge Recovery is a mindfulness-based addiction recovery community that practices and utilizes Buddhist philosophy as the foundation of the recovery process. Drawing inspiration from the core teachings of the Four Noble Truths, emphasis is placed on both knowledge and empathy as a means for overcoming addiction and its causes. Those struggling with any form of addiction greatly benefit when they are able to understand the suffering that addiction has created while developing compassion for the pain they have experienced.

Refuge Recoveryis a practice, a process, a set of tools, a treatment, and a path to healing addiction and the suffering caused by addiction. Buddhism recognizes a nontheistic approach to spiritual practice. The Refuge Recovery program of recovery does not ask anyone to believe anything, only to trust the process and do the hard work of recovery.

Refuge Recovery is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to build an extensive and comprehensive network of Refuge Recovery groups, meetings, and communities that practice, educate, and provide Buddhist teachings and meditations for anyone seeking recovery from addiction.

New Hope Recovery Center is proud to offer these new unique additions to Chicago's Recovery Community. For more information, contact New Hope Recovery Center at 888-707-HOPE (4673) or 773-883-3916 or email us at info@new-hope-recovery.com. New Hope is located immediately North of the Diversey Brown Line 'L stop on Sheffield.

New Hope Recovery Center's Greg Cox was recently interviewed for the Summer 2016 edition of Recovery Campus Magazine. Greg discusses the importance of spirituality in recovery and the difficulty emerging adults have in understanding the importance of spirituality in their lives. Greg states: "Spirituality is a critical component of addiction recovery because it focuses on growth, change and evolution....To fully recovery from our addiction, we must reconnect to our spirituality, our search for purpose in our life and connections beyond ourselves."

Spirituality often gets confused with religion, but they are very different things. As Greg mentions, "Some find it helpful to think of religion as rules or practices agreed to by a number of people, whereas spirituality is completely related to one's own individual experience and connections."

Greg understands the unique issues confronting today's young adults: social and general anxiety, shame, low self worth and constant electronic stimulation, among other things. For young adults struggling with addiction, shame can become overwhelming and lead to an addiction spiral: using to feel better and then feeling shame about using, using to feel better.....Greg helps our young adults break free from this cycle and begin work toward their goals and dreams.

Relationships in Recovery: Why Is Dating Discouraged in Early Recovery?

The advice to not date or become involved with someone intimately during early recovery is a frequent point of resistance. People involved in 12-step programs often rely on the “one-year rule” for guidance. In other words, it is recommended that someone not date during their first year of recovery. Because there is a lot of resistance to this guideline and the results from dating can be detrimental to one’s sobriety, let’s look at some of the important reasons WHY dating during the first year of recovery is not advised.

1. Me Time

The focus of early recovery should be laying a strong foundation for long-term sobriety and this involves searching deep within ourselves. Personal reflection and self-analysis is an important step to knowing ourselves and learning to accept and love ourselves. Our work to understand ourselves can be undermined or become convoluted if our efforts are distracted by a budding romance.

New romances are not only distracting they can quickly become all-consuming. They may initially feel great, but it doesn’t take long before we find ourselves slipping into old patterns, habits and behaviors. It also becomes very difficult to sort out what are my issues to work on and what are someone else’s.

You can truly only love someone to the extent that you love yourself. Recovery is essentially about finding and loving yourself and this cannot be achieved through dating another person. Romantic relationships can be appealing because they can temporarily numb pain we may feel from facing our personal hardships, behaviors and past. Cultivating love, respect, and care for yourself is the key to establishing healthy and lasting relationships down the road. People sometimes are lulled into thinking they are healthier because they are in a new relationship, but there is no short cut to becoming healthy. It involves time with yourself.

2. It’s an Attachment Problem

Early recovery can be the most uncomfortable time period of our lives because our attachment for coping with the world (our drug) has been stripped away. In addition, we often need to strip out many other areas from our using past: old using friends, unhealthy places to live, unhealthy past activities and just about every other aspect of our former using-lives. This is a lot of change. Many feel a need to attach to another person for comfort, instead of working on self-regulation and healthy ways coping with this change.

Often the attachment to a new person can feel incredibly strong and lasting. But because it does not have a strong foundation, it is a really false sense of comfort that does not last. Drugs can be viewed as a maladaptive attachment attempting to fill a void of unmet needs. Jumping into a dating relationship will only perpetuate the cycle of unmet needs. This is because the recovering individual doesn’t have the time and space to see what their unmet needs are or how to approach them appropriately.

In early recovery, it is important to recognize the relationship we had with our addiction. Addiction was almost certainly the main focus of our lives. There were times we may have felt joy, relief, comfort and understood. And of course there were times we felt abused, helpless and a victim to our addiction. We form a strong attachment to our addiction. When the drug is removed, it is comparable to a romantic break-up and therefore it needs to be grieved as such. We put a lot of time, money, energy and emotion into our addiction and it is important to grieve the loss of all these things. Sitting with this emotional withdrawal or void is uncomfortable, so people will sometimes jump into a romantic relationship as a way to fill the void. Similarly, people will replace drugs with sex as a way to achieve a quick fix. The same patterns and behaviors that were used to get and use drugs are often used to get romance or sex. When this happens, one addiction has been traded for another. We can only break free when we understand what is underneath our addictive behaviors.

3. People, Places and Things

Early in recovery our new way of thinking and coping with the world is new and immature and therefore we are often inclined to rely on old behaviors and old ways of thinking. This is especially apparent when we notice the type of partners we choose to date in early recovery. At this point, our lives are more defined by the addiction world than the recovery world. It is no coincidence that people in early recovery tend to be attracted to people still using or equally new to recovery. Also, because our relationship with our addiction was one-sided in favor of the addiction, we often see people getting involved in relationships that are just as one-sided. These relationships are often filled with drama and chaos. It is common for those new-to-recovery to become over-involved and hyper-focused on the new relationship.

When healthy coping skills are under-developed, we run the increased risk of relapse. If the relationship doesn’t work out and the couple breaks up, the main coping skill people choose tends to be the substance of their addiction.

Final Thoughts

The underlying concern for dating in early recovery is that it provides a distraction from the real task at hand, which is working on ourselves. This may be confusing because a strong recovery program involves sober connections and community. However, it is easy to mistake vulnerability and intimacy of the sober community for romance and sex. If you are contemplating dating in early recovery ask yourself if you are at the place you want to be and if the role was reversed would I be someone Iwould want to date right now. If the answer is no, don’t take it as shaming or discouraging news, take it as a reminder that you are learning and growing into the person you want to become. It won’t be long before you ARE the person you would want to date.

Addiction is a family disease that affects everyone connected to the addict. So what should family and friends do (and not do) when someone they love is addicted?

Addiction is a disease of the body, mind and spirit from which people can and do recover. Like any other disease, no one intends to get sick or wishes it upon someone. Addiction recovery is a process of healing from the different layers of pain, disappointment, shame and guilt that come with addiction.

What not to do:

Do not think you can control the addict or the addiction. Understand that the addict and the addiction are beyond your control. You can only control yourself.

Do not enable the addict or alcoholic. There is a difference between helping and enabling someone. Helping someone is doing something for someone which they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling someone is doing for someone something they can do and should do for themselves. Helping looks at the long term benefits and consequences, whereas enabling only looks at the immediate situation or drama.

Do not make threats you won’t be able to follow through on. Addicts/alcoholics will continue to push any boundaries to the limits and weaken your resolve. Set limits you can keep and then keep them.

Do not shame or scorn the addict/alcoholic. Addiction is a shame based disease and does not need any more shaming to fuel itself. The addict/alcoholic often suffers from chronic shame which includes different levels of low self-worth, low self-esteem, self-hatred, and a distorted self-image.

Do not make excuses or cover up for the addict/alcoholic. Allow them to experience the full consequences of their addiction. Do not deny or minimize the addiction or its severity. Trying to fix their problems, manage their lives or control the addict’s behaviors only prolongs the addict from learning to be accountable and responsible for their actions. They are kept from learning the valuable lessons they need in order to grow and change.

Do not allow your emotions to get the best of you. You have ridden a roller coaster of emotions long enough; it is now time for you to get off the ride. If you find yourself getting overly emotional in dealing with the addict/alcoholic, step away until you can be calm. Addiction creates drama, so be prepared for how you will act before the drama begins.

What to do:

Be patient while the addict/alcoholic is in recovery. Recovery is a journey not a destination. Recovery will happen in several stages and may not happen in a neat line.

Do what you can at the moment. There will be situations where you will be hesitant or confused about what to do. Make the best decision you can at the time and move one. Learn what works and doesn’t work and act accordingly. Remember to fully accept that you made the best decision at the time with the information you had available.

Do focus on yourself not on the addict/alcoholic. Loved ones need to focus their efforts on staying healthy. You can’t help the addict if you are not healthy and cannot help yourself. You and your families’ well-being depends on it.

Set boundaries for your long-term health and sanity. Lovingly (and frequently, if necessary) insist that your boundaries be respected and state the consequences for any violation of your boundaries. Follow through on these consequences. See your follow-through as an act of love that builds trust for yourself and the addict/alcoholic.

Do identify and recognize the different areas of life that have been neglected as a result of your preoccupation with the addict/alcoholic and begin to rectify any damage done.

Do practice letting go of your need to fix, manage or control the addict/alcohol or situations and circumstances that arise from the addiction. This is sometimes called "release with love”.

Do seek help for yourself and other family members. Getting outside help is often critical for complete healing and growth. It can also provide a healthy perspective on your situation and interactions. Seek out a therapist, counselor, Al-Anon, Nar-anon, Smart Recovery, Co-Dependents Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics or some other group that focuses on those who are affected by an addict/alcoholic.

Change will take time but will be a beautiful journey of uncovering, discovering, and recovering your lives. You will not only survive, but thrive.

Remember: Progress, not Perfection

New Hope Recovery Center provides individualized treatment for all clients. We understand that each client is unique. If you or someone you love is struggling with an addiction to drugs or alcohol, you can reach us at 888-707-4673 (HOPE) or info@new-hope-recovery.com.

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling." - Margaret Lee Runbeck

We often get so focused on our destinations and goals thinking that once we are there, we will be happy. But happiness doesn't work like that. Happiness occurs (or doesn't) in each moment. It occurs as we travel, not magically appearing when we arrive.

Wherever you go today, allow happiness to join you.

The holiday season can be stressful for all of us, whether we are in recovery or not. Overindulging in everything from food to alcohol, over-spending seems to be in vogue, and then we are expected to “hit the reset button” come January 1st. Living in excess is not particularly healthy for anyone, but for those of us in early recovery, trying to avoid it can be extremely daunting.

Here are 6 tips for helping you survive the holidays in recovery by celebrating with sobriety.

1. Plan Ahead

Doing some planning around the holidays can help decrease the stress associated with having to get through them without losing one’s sobriety. First, it is important to talk to close friends and family members who will be attending parties and gatherings with you and ensure that everyone understands what you want them to say to others who may ask why you are not drinking. There is nothing worse than someone approaching family members asking why you are not partaking in the holiday cheer and your family not knowing what to say, or perhaps telling more information about your situation than you are comfortable sharing. Having this conversation well ahead of time can spare everyone involved the worry and possible hurt feelings and anger that could occur if we decide to “wing it” with regards to how to handle questions.

2. Be Accountable

Have someone hold you accountable before and after holiday events. “Bookending” with a friend, a family member, a therapist or a sponsor can really help put you in the mind frame to hold your boundaries and stay true to your sobriety. It can also help you feel that you are supported and that you do not have to do this alone!

3. Bring a Buddy

If possible, bring a recovery friend or sober buddy along with you to parties. Feeling as though you have an ally in the room can decrease feelings of isolation and loneliness as well as social anxiety.

Also, have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand at parties or gatherings to avoid having people offer you drinks and/or questioning why you are not drinking.

4. Self Care

Practice self care. Although others may be overindulging, there is no reason to feel deprived during the holiday season. In addition to ensuring that you are getting proper sleep, nutrition and exercise, consider treating yourself to a massage, manicure, yoga class or spa afternoon.

5. Start New Traditions

Create new holiday traditions that do not focus on alcohol or other excesses. Consider starting a holiday get-together for your recovery friends that focuses on the importance of recovery and the gifts of sobriety.

6. Prevent Cravings

Always remember the HALT acronym. Do not let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Often cravings occur when we are experiencing these feelings, so recognizing them and working a bit harder to prevent them can make maintaining recovery much easier, especially during the holiday season, when we are all a bit more vulnerable to these emotions.

Celebrate Sober!

There is no reason you can’t enjoy yourself during the Holidays, but do plan ahead and follow these 6 tips to help you stay sober and happy.

If you or someone you love would like more information or help with addiction or drug or alcohol abuse, contact New Hope Recovery Center at 773-883-3916 or info@new-hope-recovery.com

We are entering the time of year when parties, family get-togethers and excessive eating, drinking and merriment can create difficult or at least tricky situations for those in recovery. Thanksgiving in particular can be a challenging time. Family interaction is often expected and it may be the first family get-together in a while.

6 Tips for Having a Happy and Sober Thanksgiving:

1. Review the Past. If you are planning to be with family or friends during Thanksgiving, reflect on past Thanksgivings. Were they stressful? Was there a great deal of drinking and partying? Did family members fight or bring up and/or re-inflict old wounds? Did you feel comfortable and at ease?

By reviewing the past, you can look for things that may temp you to drink or use again. When and where do you think your buttons will be pushed? What situations or encounters led you to feel stressed, angry, sad or hurt in the past? Just because you are sober doesn’t mean that things will be drastically different. Hope for the best, plan for the worst and be ready for everything. Being prepared is the best thing you can do.

2. Plan Your Entrance. Now that you have reviewed where you could feel stressed, anxious, irritated/angry or triggered, plan how you will attend. Is it better to go early and get comfortable? Is it better to go later, to avoid certain encounters? Is it better to go with a sober friend or family member?

Perhaps it is better to not attend at all? If that is the case, is there a way you can communicate with your family to express your thankfulness for them, but yet keep yourself safe? Look for sober friends you can celebrate with. If you decide that it would not be healthy for you to be around family and old friends during Thanksgiving, plan something special with others.

3. Plan Your Exit. Before you go, plan on how long you think you can comfortably stay. If you know from past experience that staying for a full day, or a full holiday weekend will be too much or dangerous to your sobriety, then plan your visit accordingly. Let your family know about your plans ahead of time. This will help you set realistic expectations and allow others to understand your plans. Be prepared to leave even earlier than you may have originally planned if you are triggered or feel unmanageable stress, anxiety or anger. It is acceptable to explain that you feel you need to leave early.

4. Have Support Ready. Let your support group and sober friends know about your plans and any difficulties that may arise or did arise in the past. Tell them your travel days and times. Have a person available you can call if things get difficult. Or perhaps ask someone to go with you.

If you decide that you cannot safely attend your family’s Thanksgiving, see what sober events are available near you. Thanksgiving can be triggering even without family and old friends around. It can also be lonely…most restaurants and stores (although fewer each year) are closed. So plan ahead to share your Thanksgiving with others. One great way to spend Thanksgiving is to volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter for the day. It can be an incredibly moving experience that will fill you with gratitude.

5. Be Honest and Realistic. It's best to be open about your addiction and recovery with family and friends. At a minimum be clear about your boundaries and rules. At a minimum tell your family that you are not drinking or using during the visit.

You should feel wonderful about your sobriety, however, don’t expect that everything within your family will be drastically different immediately. People change and evolve in small steps, so look for tiny increments of change. Sure, you are different, but give your family time to actually see and experience the difference. Seeing truly is believing for family and friends, especially those you may have hurt in the past.

6. Be Grateful and Enjoy – Now that you have planned ahead, you can relax and enjoy your Thanksgiving. Relaxing during a holiday isn’t always easy, so remember to breathe deeply. Thanksgiving is a holiday dedicated to being grateful, so think of at least three things you are grateful for, and try not to stop with three. Our entire world changes when we see the world through gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!

If you or a loved one would like help with an addiction, you can contact New Hope Recovery Center for assistance. 888-707-4673 or info@new-hope-recovery.com