Why can't I just get over it? I know IABU

I've posted about this before under another name and was told to either accept it or let go of it entirely. Both very valid POVs.

My closest friend, who I actually describe as my best friend and I met over 15 years ago. When we initially met we were just acquaintances that moved in similar circles and didn't think much of each other. But as time went on we became very close.

We then lived together for about 2 years but after that we both left the country and lived elsewhere. We did, however, stay in touch and would speak most, if not, every day.

Her birthday was last week and I was looking for a photo of us because I wanted to send it to one of those customise-your-own-photo companies so that they'd put 'Happy Birthday' over it.

I really struggled to find one of the two of us together. Yes there were many photos of us within the same vicinity or with mutual friends but truthfully there was only 3 decent photos of us just together.

She's since fallen out with or no longer speaks to all the people she'd once considered close - whom I'd actually met on various nights out or just understood to be her close friends.

When I scoured FB for a picture of us (she keeps FB albums of everything going years back) to use for the birthday card I couldn't find a decent one of us so just went with a random one but I recall thinking were it any of the 3 'close' friends she no longer speaks to or is close to; there'd be many many many pictures to use of them.

I know I need to get a grip. She is my closest friend and the past is the past. But I'd still like a bit of a rant. I'll raise it with her next week at some point but I don't want to piss on her parade at the moment.

There must be more to this than you've posted? You don't gave photos of each other? Where is the issue here? I don't have any photos of me and my closest friends save one or two from weddings where we're accidentally in the same shot. I honestly don't think I've given it a moments thought and I certainly wouldn't raise with any of them as an issue. This is a non problem. Take some photos of the two you together now and forget all about it.

So....just say to her that you were looking for a great pic of the two of you but you'll be darned if you could find one that was flattering or something. Then get someone to take a bunch. Or book a photography session or something.

I don't think I've got any decent photos of me with my closest friend either. We've usually taken pics of each other with various other people on nights out.

Sorry, I don't get it. If you were to raise it with her, what would you "raise"?! Order her to get her camera out more?

I don't think there's any decent pictures of me and my best friend together since we were about 18 - because when we're together we're actually doing stuff, not posing for photos. Number of photos is no factor on which to judge a friendship by.

Surely if there was a problem at all and not just in your head you'd both be to blame? There's a lack of joint pics of you with your friend and you're going to tackle it with her? I think that people take a lot more photos now than in years gone by because most people have phones with decent cameras. Maybe when you saw a lot of each other the whole taking a pic at every opportunity hadn't taken off yet. Don't make your friend feel bad because of this.

Notonthestairs If only! We're not 25yo or younger but we're not far from that.

molyholy I know I am being ridiculous so just wanted someone to tell me that before I ruin what has been my best friendship. I agree, why didn't I take more pictures and so forth. She is my best friend and we always talk - I just get a little het-up when I look at her albums from all those years ago.

Is it that you feel that the friendship is one sided? That you put in the effort and she doesn't? that the picture is a symbol of your friendship, she made the effort to make sure pictures were taken with her other friends but not you?

If that is the case then I think I understand. However, there could be other reasons for not having photos. Do you make efforts to ensure pictures are taken with her?