Tuesday, February 25, 2014

A letter to Joshua

Dear Josh,

Tonight you made a few comments that made me think maybe you
weren’t feeling so confident about yourself.Nothing huge, but you seemed to think that maybe you aren’t in the “smart
group” in math and that maybe you can’t succeed academically as easily as
someone else can.Of course, you made
the remarks as if you were joking, but at the risk of sounding like President
Obama, I want to be clear about a few things.There is so much more to you than the grades on your progress reports or
your math test.(Of course, that doesn’t
mean we’re going to let you get away with a half-hearted effort; we will demand
the best you can do, because not to do so would mean we were not doing the best
parenting we can do.)

Josh, there are some thing s that are easily measured on
report cards.Things like this:Does he know how to multiply? Do long division?Can she spell?Can she memorize the parts of a plant?Can he name the state capitals?Memorizing and understanding those things
comes easily for some people and not-so-easily for others, but they have one
thing in common.They are easy for
teachers to evaluate.

Other things are not so easy to put on a test in
school.Like how much a person loves and
values nature and being in the outdoors.How good he is at building something out of random objects other people
would throw away.Like how fearless a
kid is when he faces a challenge and how he jumps in with both feet to try new
and dangerous things.Tests cannot show
how a person will spend hours searching for something in the woods without
giving up and how he sees the beauty in every piece of nature he finds.A test can’t prove how good a kid is at
finding a snake every. single. time. he goes in the woods in the summer or how
he finds and preserves turtle shells that no one else would have even noticed.No test can reveal how strong and agile and
coordinated is a boy who (just for the heck of it) climbs a tree to see if he
can get onto the roof like the cat does . . . and then he does it. (Of course, when that same boy thought it would be fun to ride his scooter on the roof, he was also obedient enough not to.) Let’s don’t forget the boy who tried
tenaciously to perform tricks on a scooter and then set up an obstacle course
for himself out of baseball bats and sneakers just to see if he could master
it. (And he did.) No teacher will ask on
a test if that same boy a few hours later built a fire in the backyard and made
scrambled eggs and bacon over it with nothing but a stick.If a teacher tried to come up with a test
that revealed how many times in this boy’s life he had asked his mother, “What
would happen if . . .,” well let’s just say she would be working on that one for
years.(The truth is I haven’t known the answers to
most of your hypothetical questions since you were about five, but I try not to
let you know that.)

Josh, you have amazed me since you were just a toddler with
your love of the outdoors and your sense of adventure.You long for adventure, and if no one will
provide you with one, you invent one for yourself.That is a trait that can’t be taught in a
classroom with a book.It is the innate
way God made you, and I absolutely love it about you.When other people see some sticks and duct
tape, you see a pirate ship waiting to take shape.When I say it’s too windy to build a fire,
you spend hours building a snow shelter to block the wind.That is problem-solving and ambition of the
highest degree, but it won’t appear on your PSSA’s.

Never let the world or the classroom convince you that you
are any less smart or gifted or able than any other person on the face of the
earth.You are uniquely you, and until
the school system finds a way to measure tenacity, ambition, curiosity,
creativity, imagination, and adventurousness, those things aren’t going to show
up on your report card.But they show up
every day in the person that you are, and I see them.I see them.Make sure that you always see them, too.

With more love than you could fathom,

Mom

Ps.You still need to
bring up your math grade, but only because I know you can. Sorry, kid.

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble."-Helen Keller

About Beck

I'm a lawyer who recently returned to work (part-time) after staying at home with my kids for the past five and a half years. I am married to an awesome, hardworking man who also happens to be a lawyer. Fortunately, we rarely argue. However, we also have three little litigators in training, and they do argue on a regular basis.

Our oldest is Joshua. He is seven, is an excellent artist and athlete, and wants to be a paleontologist and a rock star when he grows up. Also, he wants to discover a treasure like the guy in National Treasure. Don't we all? Next is Ethan who's five. He is a perfectionist who loves puzzles, games, playing soccer, and giving his mom hugs. He says he wants to be a baseball player when he grows up, though he has never actually played baseball as of yet. Last we have Lauren who is four. She loves to talk and sing and talk and play with her dolls and talk. She plans to be a ballerina or a driver when she grows up, which she says will be when she's 100. For the record, she has never driven.