Monday, January 27, 2014

Fanny Mail: An Allergic Fan's Request

Hi, Kiddies. Today I received an email from Charlotte
Gooseberry of Corvallis, Oregon. Charlotte writes: “Dear Grandmother Winsome, I’ve
been following your blog closely for some time now, and decided to write to you
after seeing your recent posts on allergies and time travel. I’ve recently
discovered that I am allergic to cats. In one sense, this comes as a great
comfort, because I finally understand the cause of my swollen eyes, my constant
sneezing, and the rash on various parts of my body. On the other hand, I’m sad
because I don’t wish to part with my twenty-one cats. Then I realized you might
have the perfect solution. I was wondering if I could drop off my cats at
Winsome Headquarters, and you could send them into the future using your new machine. Certainly, there
will be a cure for cat allergies within the next several years. And once I take it, I can reunite with Furfuls and the rest of my lovelies. Would that be possible? If not,
do you know of some other place I can dump the cats? I’m trying to look on the
bright side of this, and, as my friend pointed out, one good thing is that I’ll
have a lot more space in my studio apartment.”

Well, Charlotte, I certainly appreciate you being a loyal
reader of my blog. It tickles me pink to know that there are people out there
like you reading each entry. So, thank you. I’ve been getting a lot of messages
lately about my Time Machine experiment. Regarding your request, I do enjoy the
thought of sending so many cats into the future. However, at this stage, I’m
not yet ready to send groups. I’m still working at discovering Buddy’s current
location in time. And I know you’re not going to want to wait much longer. It’s
important that you get rid of those cats now, so that you can begin to enjoy clear
vision, clear nasal passages and clear skin. I know there are plenty of woods
in your area of Oregon where cats could be left. And, who knows, they might be
able to work together to survive. The important thing is that you’ll be able to
enjoy yourself more. Keep reading the blog, and stay in touch, Sweetie!