Every day is like a recurring nightmare for a Devon mum-of-five, because she knows at any point she might not be quick enough to rescue her son from killing himself.

The number of suicide attempts her 27-year-old son has made in the past two years is so many she can’t remember how many there have been, but what she will never forget is his latest attempt to end his life one evening just three weeks ago.

Latest figures show three-quarters of all suicides in 2016 in Great Britain were male (Image: File pic)

She was called back to their home by her younger son who was concerned about his brother. When she ventured into his room, unsure of what she would find, she was horrified to find blood all over his room from where he had slashed his arms, legs and even his own throat.

The scene she walked into then took a turn for the worse when her son climbed out of his window to try and hang himself like he had done before.

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Young men mental health crisis

“It just feels like everyone wants to walk away and pass the problem on to someone else. It’s like no one has a clue what to do with him.

“I’m only human and sometimes I do get annoyed with the whole thing as it’s hard to bite my tongue all the time.

"I’m trying to work at keeping everything going. It’s such a huge responsibility keeping him alive. I make up reasons to text him so that I know he’s still alive, and I find excuses to go into his bedroom to see if he is still breathing.

“I can’t ever relax and that’s having an impact in my own mental health. For a while I couldn’t eat or sleep after seeing him hanging from his bedroom window.

"It’s exhausting making sure he is alive 24/7. All I get given is a leaflet for carers. If they help him they will help me. The weight would be lifted off me immensely.”

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Healthwatch Devon conducted a survey in the summer to find out which service people would most like to see improved.

Having spoken to more than 550 Devon residents, the service which stood out by far from the rest was access to mental health services with 229 votes. It topped the list for the third year running.

The top mental health issues people in Devon commented on were quality of treatment, waiting times, safety and referrals.

The mum of the suicidal son is sharing her story in the hope that changes are made, and before it’s too late. She describes her son as always having been a troubled child, and school life was particularly difficult.

“He was never diagnosed with autism as a child and he couldn’t cope with school life at all,” she recalled. “His hair would fall out and he had tics.

“He was a school refuser and didn’t get any GCSE’s, but when he left school he got a job washing up in a pub and worked his up to a commis chef. Then he decided he wanted to go to university.

“He enrolled at college on to an access course and he soared through it because he’s an incredibly intelligent boy.”

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He went to Exeter University and left home to live in halls of residence in the city. After a happy and successful first year he decided to change subjects. It was then his health began to deteriorate.

His mum recalled: “Very quickly things began to go downhill. He managed the first term and then came home early in 2014 and sat at the kitchen table and burst into tears.

"He admitted he was taking sleeping tablets as he wasn’t sleeping and kept missing classes.

“I took him to the doctors and asked for an autism assessment. Within 30 seconds we were told he was not autistic. When I later rang the surgery to ask if he had a speciality in autism, and I was told he didn’t.

“I went back to see the doctor and was told there was an 18 month waiting list for autism assessments so I contacted the Autism Society to ask how I could go private. I felt it was a really pressing matter as he was really struggling.”

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The nearest place was Poole in Dorset, and after having to pay £1,000 for tests over a few weeks, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s.

“Having the diagnosis I thought I would be able to get some help.

"Exeter University were absolutely amazing and rolled out all this support for him such as a mentor, and its well-being service was really good.

"But by that time it had become apparent that because of his difficulties coping with the social aspects of university, he had got in with the wrong crowd and started taking a lot of drugs such as cocaine, MDMA and LSD.

"You name it he had tried it.”

Her concerns were raised even more when she discovered he was ordering Valium online which would be sent to their home where he had moved back into.

She recalled: “Most of the time he would be unconscious through his drug taking. My eldest daughter and I would take it in turns to sit by his bedside during the day and night to make sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit.”

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Then came his first suicide attempt in 2015 at the age of 25. By that time he has left university and he had spiralled even further.

“Everything was falling apart and he told me he wanted to die. He had said it many times before, but I never thought he would go through with it.

“His greatest ambition had been to go to university and I think he felt like he had thrown it away as he couldn’t cope once he was there. That was quite significant for him as he didn’t know if he would ever be able to go back.”

He has attempted to end his life many times since.

Recalling the last time which was in September, his mum said: “He had been clean for a long time and everything had seemed okay; He was learning Japanese and talking about going back to university and wanted my help to sort out his finances so he could go.

“Then he was suddenly all over the place. I asked him if he had taken anything, which he denied, but I could see the change in him.

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“We were told we could get help from Step One, a charity who support people to manage their mental health, achieve employment goals and live more independently. They were very sympathetic but said they could not offer him anything for quite a while as they’re short staffed and are recruiting. He is no on their waiting list but it could be too late by the time he is seen.

“He now has a new doctor who has referred us to our local community mental health team.

"In the meantime he has gone back into his bedroom and nothing has changed while I wait for another crisis and it’s bound to happen again as it comes in cycles.

"He is very much a hermit in his room and rarely goes anywhere. He does not think he has a drug problem, and is now turning more and more to drink.”

An option she does not believe is right for her son is being sectioned because of the routine he has to have because of his autism.

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She said: “One time when he tried to hang himself at home I came home just as he had leapt out of the window. I managed to get him down and he ran off bare footed taking the rope he had around his neck with him.

"The police found him and he was sectioned at The Cedars for four days and then he was discharged home.

“My two main concerns are the accessibility of drugs online and the ineptitude of mental health services in this country, and particularly in Devon. In London there would have been a very different approach towards helping my son.”

She admits she struggled with her relationship with her son because of the toll his mental health has taken on her and the wider family.

“There have been times I’ve asked him to leave and I’ve had to walk out of the house to get away from him," she said. “His father lives abroad and he is allowed to stay in his flat, but only if he doesn’t take any drugs.

“It’s very hard at times I do get very angry about what he is doing.

"What he needs is a counsellor he can talk to and trust, and someone who can help take him out into the big wide world again, and not his mum.”

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His dad has also vividly spoken out in the hope that improvements will be made to mental health services.

He said: “A young man, whose body is covered in scars from years of self-abuse, stands before a hospital psychiatrist. He is returning to a hospital that should know all about him because it's at least his fourth visit as far as he can remember.

“Each visit is a consequence of an attempt to take his own life.

"This evening, in addition to the bloodied cuts to his arms, shoulders and neck, there is also evidence of ligature marks around his throat, a consequence of him hanging out from his bedroom window several hours earlier.

“Found by his mother unconscious and near death, he is cut down using the only knife she dares to keep at her home. The neighbours know all about this young man, and have pitied and sympathised with his mother for years, and cannot understand why this recurring nightmare can be allowed to continue, not in Britain, not in one of the wealthiest countries in the world.

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“The psychiatrist looks this desperate young man over and makes the decision to keep him in hospital overnight, but his mother knows only too well that the chances are he will be sent home the following day and indeed that is what happens.

“It will keep happening until one day there will be no need to send him home because he will have succeeded in what he has been trying to do for so long.

“Male suicide is often called the 'silent killer' as it is the single biggest cause of death for men under the age of 45 in the UK.”

A spokesperson for Devon Partnership NHS Trust said: “We provide a wide range of mental health and learning disability services across Devon, including a talking therapy service for people who are low in mood, struggling to cope or stressed.

"If someone under our care requires more intensive therapy a referral may be made to our psychological therapy service. If anyone has any questions or concerns about our services they can contact our patient advice and liaison service on 0800 073 0741.”

The Samaritans can be reached round the clock, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. If you need a response immediately, it’s best to call them on the phone. You can reach them by calling 116 123, by emailing jo@samaritans.org or by visiting www.samaritans.org