Category Archives: Gooaaalllsss!

I had morning issues (lost keys and bad public transit) so I ate a croissant (- 5 points).

I didn’t make my lunch because I could not for the life of me fall asleep (why????) which meant I’m sacrificing my one free lunch right on Monday (damn). I bought salad with chicken, no drink or snacks (winning + 5 points).

Worked on my budget and became absolutely depressed but still worked on it and paid a few bills during lunch (depression 5 points – winning in the long run but poor broke tears in the short game)

I will pay the rest later tonight/tomorrow. Also need to cancel fitfusion since I just don’t workout at home…my couch is far too appealing.

Considered getting a part-time job…no points since only consideration. I have too many things pending though so it’s best just to wait…pending as in terms of my living situation. The boyfriend and I are getting along…like the BEST EVER…which is amazing but also we’ve been discussing “THE FUTURE” (ominous yet exciting) and it’s unclear if our paths are really meshing. Also depressing…because things in the moment are wonderful….However it’s our thirties not our twenties and having mix match futures is really just a set-up for heartbreak, failure, and hating one another. At this point in my life I would rather have a sad but amicable grown up break up than anything…I mean, ideally we will figure out said futures and continue along in lurve but I really don’t know. BLARGH.

Instead of wine, I will drink water (double points because water and I’m at work +10).

I managed to eat and snack like a healthy person today. Despite being out and about, I ordered a baby kale salad!!! VICTORY! Of course, I snacked (as I tend to do on Sundays) but instead of delicious crap, I ate plantain chips and dried mango. I had half a health bar for breakfast with no added sugar and one of those wacky ingredient labels. You know where it lists the 5 items in the bar. Shocking, I know.

I did a super sad bastard run on Saturday. My entire body hurt and it was a confirmation that I have been failing on the fitness/food/and general life front. However I’m back and have a whole take no prisoners attitude so soon I will be fit, sexy, and one of the “after” people.

I need to wake up early and make my lunch because it is not happening tonight. So that’s all kids.

Binge on cookies, cupcakes, or other sugar disasters provided in the office

I WILL

Budget every month

Review all credit cards and stop spending!

Workout three times a week

Make my lunch

Eat more healthy snacks

Drink water

Clean room and closet on a far more regular basis

Donate clothes I do not wear

Write three times a week as stress relief/reflective practice

I just ordered a pizza on my credit card and ate the last of some Talenti gelato because perspective. However some Bridget Jones style life goaling was in order. July, you have fucked me over but I will not be defeated. I will take my broke ass and get focused!!!! I will get back on the hamster wheel of grown-upness and make it happen.

Tomorrow I will get on the scale, cry, get off the scale, and work out. I will buy vegetables for consumption from the farmer’s market or Trader Joe’s. I will not spend money on beautiful, expensive, organic food from Whole Foods…money that I do not have. Oh and I will buy dish soap because I should also wash dishes.

I requested off two days from work to clean out my closet and get rid of crap. I’m going to actually finish that damn Marie Kondo book.

Ok, so I took off 8/8 & 8/9 on a whim based on a workshop I was at on Thursday. Let me back up, Thursday the University held a professional development conference for staff. I selected a couple of workshops primarily on balance, mindfulness, and putting your vision into action. Cheesy, I know. There was still some solid shizz discussed though and I walked away with some useful tips. One such tip was take vacation! JUST DO IT! Even if you’re broke and can’t go anywhere. So I’m having my own grown-up little staycation and going to focus on some me stuff that I want to fuckin’ tackle.

BROKE GIRL STAYCATION

Workout every day (maybe even twice a day). I’m going to take a Hipline class, barre method, and do some running.

Wash all my clothes.

Donate everything I don’t wear.

Organize closet.

Read everyday.

Drink smoothies.

Eat healthy lunch salad.

No tv (unless on in background while closet working ie Gilmore Girls on Netflix)

Listen to music and podcasts only.

Do some mindful/reflective zen shizz about what I want, what makes me happy, and ways to improve life.

That was some solid work, peeps. I’m drinking water not booze and going to watch some Great British Baking and call it a night.

My life got crazy as eff this Spring and of course when that happens I turn to booze, food, more booze, with some late night snacking. As a 35 year old goddess of a woman, my body behaves accordingly and gains all the weight. Yeah, those 20 year old days of dancing all night, drunkenly eating an entire pizza (alone), and waking up able to slip into a bikini on are GONE. Gone, without a trace. Eff.

The past few weeks, I’ve been really getting back on track. So there’s been cooking, being that shlumpy lady at the work out class, and drinking less. I need wine though. Being healthy is not worth enough that I will ever give up wine, kids. I’ve got to have sanity and so many things require a buzz. Thank you Zinfandel, Cab Franc, and Malbec… You’re my golden girls.

I try and remind myself I have to wear a swimsuit happily in August so I put down the cookie. Ok, I didn’t but I ate some spinach later. Moderation, right? I actually do like working out, it’s just I’m a slacker about making the time. I generally always feel so much better getting some serious movement in my life. My fitfusion membership has helped. When I’m uninspired or broke AF, I have no excuse not to select a video and get some fit in. I’ve mostly focused on Jillian Michaels & Tara Stiles ( yoga, beatches) but there’s a ton of trainers on there.

We’ve got summer orientation galore, so I’m crazy busy at the new job but I’m really enjoying it. I’ve just got to eat like a grown person and keep up the workouts. I did lose a pair of jeans to the thigh rub battle the other day and that was a sad loss. RIP Gap skinny jeans… You served me well… Even in the end when I was clearly a size larger. You mustered on, thank you for your service.

My summer fit has ups & downs. Sunday, I lost all control at a BBQ and ate all the chips, hummus, and wine. There may have been pasta as well. But I got in a Saturday workout so ya know I’m trying.

At least I still have 9 weeks left. I’m off to drink lemon water and not snack… Ok the chips are gone so there’s nothing to snack on #willpower.

Being an adult is learning that you have control over maybe 10% of the things in your life on a good day. On a bay day, all you’ve got is 1% which is how you handle it. There has been quite a bit of back and forth’ing in 2016. I’m still here (thankfully) and getting to place where I can gear up and strive to hit that 10%.

That pretty month of May effed some shizz up….but June will be here in a few days and I plan on making the Summer months work for me. Finance wise, my budget didn’t work and we had a LOT of unplanned expenses related to my boyfriend’s graduation and some family events. Not to mention, I’ve been buying my lunches for at least two weeks (that’s 100 that wasn’t planned right there). My body/fitness has turned into a softer and larger lump…not good. I mean naked (still decent) but my clothes like to leave indentations over my body after I take them off…so not good. I finally decided that I needed to step up and take back my 10%. So…Saturday morning, I stepped on the scale and thought well…that explains why all my clothes without elastic are painful. Keep in mind, it’s still a healthy weight but more than my 5 foot body is used to carrying and way less muscle. BLARGH. Yes, my toes need a pedicure…badly.

I’m going to rally for June and try to bring some financial fitness, mental wellness, and you know real exercise to mi vida. I re-added the my fitness pal (mfp) app to my phone so that I can, ya know, actually be accountable for the food choices that I’m making. I’ve been sick this week and cancelled fun plans to stay home and get better. Hashtag adulting. I bought some groceries on Saturday that supported me eating vegetables and getting better.

The thought of exercise exists me at this point but I plan to start tomorrow. It’s completely against my will but it’s work out or buy all new pants. I still may need new pants but I have to at least attempt to lose some of this weight.

I do have a goal for ultimate fitness….August 18th. I have a bachelorette party that I’ve very excited for!!! There will wine tasting, dancing, a dope house with a swimming pool and I will be expected to wear a swimsuit and there will photographic evidence. Sigh, every girl’s nightmare. Therefore the plan is to not look like a blob by this date. Non-blobby would be ideal with all my young cute 29 year old girlfriends even though I’m a 35 year old lady (Grandma, really) that would like to be in a maxi dress, pool adjacent. Anything with stretch really.

That just makes me want to live in elastic and chug wine…and gain zero weight…that is a girls dream…throw in sex with 90s Brad Pitt and Channing Tatum and the entire Magic Mike crew dancing for me and my girlfriends…yep, that’s about it.

2016 was supposed to be about fitness and finances. A year where this 35 year old got her ish together and made some real progress toward my effin’ life goals. I just accepted an Assistant Director position, have been diligent about my finances (even w/ a few set-backs) and was getting ready to get my fitness back…I sit here typing this eating dark chocolate. However last night the wheels came off with some issues my Mom. It’s a hot mess and reiterates why I have to kill my debt and be in a better place to help people around me.

My mom has struggled so much with the passing of my Grandmother and never went to grief counseling despite our strong urging. My sister and I thought recently she was doing better but some self destructive habits have come to light. It’s a little bit of a mess right now and the hardest part is that she lied to my sister and has not been honest.

Thankfully, my new boss isn’t in the office until next week and I’ve completed all my tasks so I have some time to help my sister deal with all of this….it’s really just hard and crazy. Hopefully things aren’t too bad but I won’t know until I get down there later tonight. It’s overwhelming but I’m trying to keep a level head. Last night, there was some serious rage, drinking, and crying. You know just the usual Tuesday night. Damn, why does being a grown-up suck so DAMN hard. Seriously!

I have a conference in Santa Barbara for the first few days of May and will be in Portland the second weekend, so the timing is craptastic. Of course, all the joy is being sucked from these things because I’m stressed and will probably stress eat. Only making my clothes even tighter….DAMN…See once again, being a grown-up is not great.

I need to remind myself to read up on loans….see depressing.

Alright, I’m off to microwave a sad sack lunch and attempt to not drink at lunch.

You have been a mixed month of crazy. Allergies, opportunities, and unexpected outings have all lead to a massive month of breaking the bank. I’ve been working late nights which means there has been zero fitness. April is really just all about morbid obesity…and debt. BLARGH!

It’s really just time for an April update list.

I got a new job! Holla!

They needed me start right away which meant that I started working LATE! Most nights…plus I had to work on Saturday 4/16 for my old job (couple of hours) and Sunday 4/17 for my new job (similar)…so I worked 12 days straight. EXHAUSTION.

As a result of all this working, I bought food (unhealthy & fast) and did not meal prep. There was no time for fitness….so all my clothes are tight and the scale scared me the other day. BLARGH!

Working all the time means my house is a lair of filth….the RAT KING lives here. It’s sad but true.

As a result of leaving my job, so so MANY unexpected expenses, outings, etc have just fucked my budget. It basically went out the window….and crashed into a million pieces on the street below.

I’m super excited about the new job though!!! It’s the right move despite bad timing and I won’t be broke and fat forever so you know….Monday is a new day and I will start to pull it together at that point.

I just wanted to drop by and say I’m alive…working non-stop with nothing interesting to report. Perhaps, just that Prince died and it was my first day at my new job and DEVASTATION. Also I didn’t know my new team well enough to blast PRINCE and be sad and say we should all drink at lunch…somehow I thought that might be frowned upon. I’m so sad as I type this….Prince, no! He played a few shows in Oakland not too long ago and I had a homie tell me in advance but I opted out of getting tickets because I’ve been so focused on my budget. REGRETS!!!!! I thought I had time! He was only 57! Anyways, rest in peace and power Prince, you will be greatly missed. I will leave you all with this jam and my favorite Charlie Murphy story of all time.