NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Hungry carp.

XXXXX FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 20 XXXXX

Waltz Ball

I am sending a special invite to you for my newest project the Golden Angel Waltz Orchestra. The Waltz orchestra will be hosting a Waltz Ball with only waltzes all night long. Waltzes that are from all over the world, dense in sound, seemly sweet but sometimes chaotic and always in three. Yes it is a ball as well, so everyone is required to be in their most flamboyant, most dazzling, most Victorian, most risqu� garments. We believe that people these days need a little encouragement for those romantic couples dances so we have also hand-made 19th century dance cards that will facilitate those budding waltz enthusiasts to share in the joys of waltzing with all on the dance floor. We also are bringing in four of the most cutting edge dance instructors, who are charming yet slightly twisted in the dance instruction. You see, they are really clowns, they are at the waltz ball to be the charmers, the instigators, the fashion consultants and yes the dance instructors as well. We hav
e a quite a show that will engage even the most curmudgeon of a fella to experience the joys and silliness of our waltz ball.

So come if you can. You all will have the opportunity to wear your most beloved fancy party dress that you never get to wear, you'll get the chance to share your secret waltz obsession, and most of all to share in silly night of delightful music and clowning. I know that if any of you know Vox Pop you'll know that it is a lovely but very small cafe in Ditmas Park and that it might not be the first place you'd think of to have a Waltz Ball but the owner Debbie is so amazing and excited about the ball that she is clearing out all the tables so be sure we have plenty of room. So please come support this crazy new idea and let me know if you have any fancy parties that you think our Waltz Ball would be perfect for performing at. With Raya Brass Band, Mamie Minch- Singer and guitarist Mamie Minch, and the Curious Shape of Hens.

Vox Pop
1022 Cortelyou Road, Brooklyn
8p-midnight; $?
718 940 2084

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Loew's Movie Palace

A weekend of films at the community-run movie palace of Jersey City.

Friday: Monsieur Verdoux (Chaplin)

Saturday: For Whom the Bell Tolls (2p), Forbidden Planet (7:30p).

Sunday: Garden State Theatre Organ Society with Big Business and a sing-along (2p)

Rubulad Home Base
338 Flushing Avenue, between Classon and Taaffee, Brooklyn
B61 bus to Flushing Avenue, or G train to Classon station
10p doors, 11p show; $10 in costume, before 11, or way late, $15 otherwise

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Art, Advertising, Activism, Alchemy

The power of public art. The problem of ubiquitous, aggressive, and even illegal advertising. The renaissance of urban activism. The alchemical conversion of public spaces when these concerns meet. These four artists, with different but overlapping practices, represent the transformative intersection of art, advertising, and activism. Speaking together for the first time ever:

Jordan Seiler; Gabriel "Specter" Reese; Jason Eppink; Posterchild. Come see individual talks, followed by a panel Q&A with all four artists. Also on display: 20 screens featuring past street works of all artists and the unveiling of new mural works by Posterchild and I Am. Drinks are available all evening.

This weekend, prepare for the most extravagant and fanciful gathering of castaways, sailors, glittering mermaids, sea sirens, pirates, romantic sea captains and scalawags ever known to New York. The three-day nautical themed flight of fancy that will be held in several stunning historical locations, starting with evening cruise along the East River. The festival program features live music ranging from classical opera to rock ballads, international guests, historical costume fashion shows, dance, puppetry, fencing, performance art, vendors, and ballroom dancing, among other chimerical amusements. Guests must RSVP to attend Saturday's ball.

Check website for complete details.

Multiple venues and times
$26-35
Continues through SUNDAY
dancesofvice.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Pankabestia: Punk Beasts of the Swimming Cities of Serenissima

A retrospective. Traveling from the Karst region of Slovenia to Venice, Italy, last summer more than 30 other artists braved the waters of the Adriatic Sea and navigated a fleet of three intricately hand crafted vessels. This exhibition, curated by Spy Emerson, will include large-scale wall drawings, original Swimming Cities boat installations, portions of the ships, and found objects acquired from sea. The exhibition will also feature performers Gatto Morto, Adina Kennedy and Adina Bier, beautiful photographic documentation from artist Tod Seelie, and original artwork from Swoon, Monica Canilao, Spy Emerson, and many more.

Behind the Bars: Exposing and Transforming the Prison Industrial Complex

A film screening and panel discussion. The United States imprisons a greater percentage of its population than any other country on earth, a vastly disproportionate number of which are people of color. Crime rates, meanwhile, are higher here than in any other developed nation besides Russia.

Behind the Bars: Exposing and Transforming the Prison Industrial Complex will examine the historical roots of the system that we currently have, what the impact of this system is on communities at risk, and what possibilities there are for transforming this culture of incarceration. In addition the panel will examine the role that media -- both mainstream and grassroots -- plays and has played in the development and success of the movement to transform this broken system.

A screening of film excerpts from the Deep Dish TV archive will be followed by a panel discussion and Q and A with activist leaders, radical filmmakers and scholars on this subject.

The Panelists: Odell Winfield, former inmate at Comstock State Prison; Pilar Maschi, is the Membership and Leadership Development Director for Critical Resistance; David F. Greenberg is Professor of Sociology at New York University; Chino Hardin works with the Institute for Juvenile Justice Reform and Alternatives; Thomas Poole is the former executive director of Deep Dish TV. Moderated by Bahiyyah MiAllah Muhammad, Professor of Sociology and Criminology at NewSchool University.

Henry Labowitz Center for the Performing Arts at New York University
1 Washington Place, Manhattan
7p; $free
deepdishtv.org.

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Hey Queen

For the first time ever Tactical Spectacle, the Rude Mechanical Orchestra's dance and performance crew, will be performing without our beloved instrumentalists.

Come join us for a very special event to benefit Queers for Economic Justice at this edition of Hey Queen, the notorious queer multi-gender dance party. See Tactical Spectacle's radical take on go-go all night long, with an extra performance surprise in the middle of the night. Hit the dancefloor with Rudemos unencumbered by their instruments. And support QEJ's kick-ass organizing.

Super/Prime is an amorphous project of shifting sites with the aim of providing increased visibility to young and emerging artists. Exhibitions take place in unsold condos, victims of the collapsed economy and falling real-estate market. These otherwise unoccupied spaces allow for a platform upon which we may construct an alternative institution to support the production and dissemination of art.

Featuring performances by musicians, dancers, the Harlem Black Theatre, and a capoeira group all night long. There will be art installed, films shown, a video-diary booth where audience members and artists can share their future thoughts about the current state of New York's art community. On Saturday afternoon, children will be able to attend instrument-building and crafts workshops by some of the musicians and artists themselves. It's all happening at the Clemente Soto Velez Cultural Center on the Lower East Side, in two beautiful theaters and a gallery space. This event is to raise awareness and funds to help make possible our upcoming 15th annual Vision Festival. However, we're also dedicated to bringing this whole community together by offering a platform for artists from every medium to present themselves and their cultures here on the Lower East Side. We'll be presenting a Brazilian Capoeira group, a Serbian brass ensemble, Afro-Caribbean DJs, Dominican music and food
as well as paying full tribute to the venue that best promoted and explored the community of experimental musicians and artists in this city, the Tonic. So far, our growing list of contributing artists includes, but is not limited to: John Zorn and Bill Laswell, Aki Onda and MV Carbon, Skeletons Big Band, Sam Hillmer's Regattas, Marc Ribot, William Parker, Daniel Levin, Sabir Mateen, Charles Gayle, Jason Hwang, Josh Roseman, and tons more avantgarde NYC-based improvisers.

CSV
107 Suffolk, Manhattan
7p-11p SATURDAY; $30 per day, $50 for the festival, $20 for students and seniors
Continues on SATURDAY
visionfestival.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Cabaret Magyar

The Final performance in a three-part series of fin-de-si�cle cabarets with 21st-century spirit. This one proves to be the best one yet! Cheer for New York and Hungarian artists, writers, and musicians as they take on Hungary: from Harry Houdini to Zsa Zsa Gabor and space tourism. Daring trapeze, mustache animations, Communist-era Hungarian commercials -- everything you crave in a cabaret. Hosted by New York playwright/performer Nick Jones (Jollyship the Whiz-Bang). An original Extremely Hungary production.

With Sweet Soubrette sings Odes to Hungary, Rachel Shukert's original play The Three Gabor Sisters, based on the Chekhov classic, an animated history of the Hungarian mustache by Nina Frenkel and Stefany Anne Golberg, Suzanne Rogaleski on trapeze, your favorite Hungarian commercials from the 70s and 80s, and and direct from Hungary, the famous all-gypsy Budapest Bar band.

Told in 13 acts, Memoriam explores the story of a troupe of actors on the last leg of their vaudeville tour. On the last night of their show, at the House of Yes, relationships hit a breaking point, while the lines between what is real and what is scripted begin to blur. A true collaboration, the project is an assembly of text, clown, music, and dance. This rag-tag show is not to be missed. Directed by Eddie Prunoske. With: Andy Bean, Caitlin Bebb, Christopher Devlin, Hollye Gilbert, Carl Holder, Carter Hudson, Leon Pease, and Craig Strube.

House of Hearts returns to Brooklyn Sanctuary. Friar Tuck, the Bass, and Jester Jaimi bring you the third installment of our new monthly party at Sanctuary. This party is about family. Its about house. Your house. We know that there's a lot of stuff going on that night, so consider House of Hearts the perfect afterparty.

Brooklyn Urban Sanctuary
RSVP for location
11p-6a; $10 before 1a, $15 after
21 and over
facebook.com/event.php?eid=177217492860&ref=ts

For over a decade, the New York Bike Messenger Foundation (NYBMF), a 501(c) 3, has successfully organized Cranksgiving, a charitable alleycat race held in New York City. During the race each bicycle racer navigates his or her way to numerous grocery stores spread out across Manhattan, purchases designated food items at each store, arrives at the finish line with a bag full of Thanksgiving dinner ingredients -- and, finally -- donates all of the purchased food to a homeless shelter.

With 106 racers, last year was the biggest Cranksgiving to date, and New York City's largest alleycat for 2008. Over $1000 worth of food was donated to Saint Mary's Soup Kitchen on the Lower East Side and, in addition, two women and children's charities (Nazareth Housing & Hudson Guild) received over 100 jars of baby food each. Additionally, $1682 was raised for City Harvest and $420 was raised for NYBMF. With an anticipated 200 racers, it is hoped that twice as much food will be donated in time for 2009�s Thanksgiving celebration.

Bicycle Messengers, commuters and recreational cyclists looking to do a greater good will compete against one another in this city wide alleycat format race, while donating food for less fortunate New Yorkers this holiday season. All you need to do to participate is show up, register, and race.

We all have someone or something we would rather just forget. Things fall apart. Love hurts. Dreams die. But when you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come. At first you may be intimidated by his stature and color (7 feet tall with a hard, black bear head, black jumpsuit, and black boots), but absorbing the memories of others is a dark art, and Death Bear must present himself appropriately for this solemn duty. Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex's clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak, and loss. Let Death Bear help you, and absorb your pain into his cave.

Death Bear is a member of Club Animals, a pop-performance art group in New York City founded in 2008. We are best known for the Free Bouncy Rides, Candy Crack Delivery Service, and Bunny Butterfly Kisses.

Serving all Brooklyn only
Text 347-742-2293 for an appointment
$free
Continues SUNDAY
clubanimalsnyc.blogspot.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Showpaper Intramural Film Festival (Spiff)

Hey - I'm the curator / coordinator of SPIFF, which is happening at Vaudeville Park, and we were wondering if we could get a listing in Nonsense NYC. It should be pretty solid. Blissed Out is opening, and we're screening over a dozen student/amateur/underground movies we've been collecting for the better part of 2009.

Here's our official press release/writeup: Showpaper has dabbled with indie movie premieres, live video art and archival cartoons -- but SPIFF represents the org's first movie sandwich, a curated collection of student, underground, amateur and experimental films to be premiered at the arts space Vaudville Park. Highlights include AIM-chatting pumpkin stalkers, a pantsless violinist, a claymation sex allegory, pets hooked up to oxygen masks, a gorgeous Haruki Murakami adaptation and much much more. Blissed Out opens and there's a basement dance party afterward.

The items are sorted by a team of ninja volunteers and set on display like a department store.

Once they've donated their items, attendees are invited to browse departments and take as much as they can carry. Everything is free!

The remaining items are collected and donated to charity.

Over 1,300 people came to our first Score! Pop Up Swap in May, and this time, it's going to be even better. We've got sweet hand-printed Score! tote bag, live screen-printing during the event by Bread & Butter Collective, complimentary malt liquor from 1-2pm, mimosas and bloody mary's available at the bar, a custom Score! Mixtape, and all proceeds from the event go to support City Harvest.

A series of exploratory perambulations through the five boroughs. Or, less pretentiously: Get off your butt and come walk around the city with us.

This week we'll venture out beyond the reach of the subway into eastern Queens. How do people get around when the subway tracks run out? Horse-drawn carriages? Bicycles with comically large front wheels? Brain-powered spacepods? Come find out for yourself.

I'm delighted to invite you to our next service. Our theme will be Grace, inspired by Thanksgiving.

The Secret City is a secular church for artists and other conscious, creative people. We gather to celebrate, cogitate, ruminate and meditate on the nature of art-making and the creative spirit. Part cabaret, part art-church, part salon, each service has a different theme and features live performance, presentation and original work.

The theme of Grace is compelling, no? Will it be Grace Jones, Grace Kelly or Grace Slick? Is Grace available to heathens, as well as the pious? Can you name the Three Graces? And what about Grace is Amazing?

These questions and more will be pondered, and some of them will even be answered. And remember, free childcare.

This month, The Private Ear Radio Hour presents five original radio plays that will humor you, excite you, thrill you, and leave your ears begging for more.

Join us as we continue the story of Jack Sloan, an accountant travelling deeper into the dark side of humanity with The Case of the Lethal Ledger. Hear an intergalactic tale of epic proportions as told through multiple answering machines on Drama � After the Beep. Meet Cornelius, Saskatoon County�s 46th ranked science teacher as he answers the questions of today�s youth on Ask an Alchemist. Test your luck and emerge victorious on Who Will Survive? And, lastly, find out the thrilling conclusion to the two-part origin episode of the Smoker.

With stunning, live special effects performed by Foley Artist Ien Denio and the melodious sounds of the Private Ear Orchestra under conductor Nehemiah Luckett, the Private Ear Radio Hour will capture your imagination by the ears and take it on a magical 60 minute journey, experienced live at the Brooklyn Lyceum.

Tired of old friends? You're not alone -- we are too. Today meet an entirely new social network. Does it seem that your old friends have lost interest in you or your amazing new projects? Not attending your important events, dates or openings? Do they assume that because you two are Old Pals that they can take advantage of you yet not even call on your birthday?

Well, here at HiChristina we say, Out with the old and in with the new! You deserve friends who appreciate you for who you are, respect your lifestyle and choices, friends who call you back right away. Come to HiChristina, your home for avant garde art, performance and uncommon expression, for a night of fun, Kool-Ade, crafts, and blossoming friendships awaits. Join us at the honest hour of 5p. And with any luck you'll leave with a new family for Thanksgiving.

A tournament to get more bike racks in North Brooklyn. Join us for this lively competition and win awesome prizes.

Bring a camera (or camera phone). Come by bike or on foot, with friends or solo. Bike Rack Round-Up is the culmination of this fall's campaign to compile a bulk order of 300 bike racks for Brooklyn Community District 1 -- the pilot effort for the fixcity.org Bike Racks project. Contestants will verify spots previously suggested and search out new ones. Prizes will go to the team who finds the most spots.

A performance showcase that boasts a wide breadth of art forms and artists. With an average of six different acts in two hours and a brief intermission, Cataplexy provides an evening filled with ethnically diverse and genderqueer performances that range from burlesque, music, comedy or some interdisciplinary mix. All performers dazzle the audience with innovative costume design. Hosts Monstah Black and Ashley Brockington seamlessly tickle the crowd while DJ Bacon Juice Jenkins spins all things soulful through the night. Ashley, innappropriate and glamorous as ever. And, yes, she'll definitely be in her panties. So can you!! Dress to impress, people.

Of all the joys Thanksgiving has to offer, probably the best is the night before. You know that turkey, football, and family drama is up ahead, but there ain't shit you have to do until then. We're thankful for whisky shots, sweat, subwoofers, good people, and wee hours of the morning.

In development for over eleven years, X: The Human Condition has been designed to embrace the expanding possibilities of multimedia in entertainment. Featuring an immersive, multi-sensory environment, the live, dynamic concert performance by the music group X: THC, enhanced by the emotionally charged film, X: The Human Condition, .

Do you have nowhere to go for Thanksgiving? Stranded? European? Come spend the most treasured of all American holidays with the greatest art collective ever.

We'll be cooking and watching movies all day. We�ll have a Thanksgiving turkey (and vegetarian options) around 8 in the evening. Bring some food or a donation to help pay for that gigantic horn of plenty. (No one turned away).

Nonsense is too long. The great thing about the internet is that it doesn't really cost much to run long listings and exhaustive descriptions. It turns out that's ... exhausting. After several complaints and a little deliberation, we're trying a new format: On the first Friday of the month we will run updated ongoing listings in each section: events, learning, and help. Other weeks we're going for leaner, meaner sections. If you're desperate for something to do on an off-Tuesday night we suggest you either look back a few issues ago in your inbox, or poke through our online archives, which you can find under the subscribe page.

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

I am looking for someone who would like to collaborate with me on a film/theater project as a DP or film director. I am a writer/director of plays who works in the downtown theater milieu. The film aspect of the project will involve shooting a 10-20 minute long silent film on either super8 or 16mm or visually altered DV. The idea is to make this thing look semi-convincingly old-- like from 1917. In terms of look I'm hoping for something along the lines of Guy Maddin, D. W. Griffith, Pola Negri vehicles, Edison films of vaudeville sketches, Woody Allen's Zelig. The film quality can be totally distressed, the picture can be distorted at times. I work in the theater and not in film. I don't really know the first thing about how to achieve these kinds of effects. The film will be projected as a part of performance of a play that is being presented at a festival in the East Village in late January. The concept of the play is basically that the woman who directed/starred in this
silent film in her youth is now much older. She is attending a showing the film and providing a sort of cracked and drunken director's commentary. In terms of our collaboration, I am flexible: If you want to take the whole film aspect of the project on, I would say go for it. I would also be happy to provide support by producing/ casting/ location scouting/costuming and let you worry about the camera, the directing within scenes, the editing. I would even be happy to have you just do the shooting. In any case, I will provide the written scenario. As far as money goes, I am working on it. You will be paid something, but sadly it will not be an awful lot. On the other hand, no one will be paid very much: that's the theater! But if you are interested in this project please let me know what you would need to make it work and I will see what I can do. With any luck the project will expand and will have future iterations. As it is, there are four guaranteed screenings and you would get something from the box office haul. Upper level undergraduate and graduate film students welcome. If you are interested in experimenting with DIY old-fashioned film looks, this could the project for you. Please send me a link to your reel or portfolio or youtube if possible. I will return the favor with more info about myself. Contact me at normandyraven(at)gmail.com.

***** SPACES *****

Room available in decrepit but charming two-bedroom apartment, amazing location in Williamsburg at Bedford Avenue and South 1st Street, $700. Move-in date January 1, or we can discuss a late December pre-holidays move if needed. The room is quiet, small/medium-sized, has two windows and a real closet, overhead storage space, wood floors, and is at the opposite end of the apartment from mine. It looks out on small backyards with some greenery in summer. I lived in it for five years and was very happy. It's empty but the rest of the apartment is furnished. The place is affordable, but it's an old building which requires lots of care and upkeep from us -- not the landlord -- so handy, proactive people who can use a drill and who don't panic when the ceiling leaks are preferred. I'm a late-20s accessories designer, I have a separate work studio but also do some work from home. I have a lot of clutter and two friendly cats. I would love to have a dog move in, no more cats though
. My ideal roommate is not allergic, a non-smoker, works outside of the home, and takes turns cleaning shared spaces on a regular basis. I like to cook and feed people if our schedules work out that way, I cook 90 percent veggie but on occasion will cook meat. I will also be traveling quite a bit in February-May next year, and subletting my room, so I need someone who can commit to at least an 8-month period while I am away. Our building is just three apartments and we are all old friends. We share bike parking. We have a tiny porch with herbs and flowers. Life is good here. The location is great -- super close to the Met Pool, all the shops and restaurants on Grand Street, and the pocket park on the waterfront. Equidistant to Bedford L and Marcy JMZ, and very close to the bridge. We share wifi and full cable with a Tivo, though I try to avoid couch potato-dom by only turning on the TV a few times a week at most. Total utilities run about $60/month per person. Please get in touch, tell me a bit about yourself, and come by and see the place as soon as you can. Contact Alita, alita(at)nonsensenyc.com.

I'm jumping into the rental of a floor of an old warehouse in Bushwick. It's an old LIRR terminal from the 30s and its second floor is home to Refuge. The first floor is open and after some trash removal, it's ready for action. It's 5,000 square feet. The dream: a very well-stocked workshop for wood and metal craft, room for performances and whatever social oddities pass through with living spaces lofted around. The reality: It's just a clean empty warehouse (or will be after a day and a dumpster). If you're interested in: a place to live, a place to work, a place to hang out, a place to have group events or if you just want to ride a dangerous freight elevator up and down, then get in touch. I could use help and need roommates. Lease starts in December, but I'm open to any ideas. Contact mikey.ot(at)gmail.com.

*The last party at Refuge has come and gone. Our spacious warehouse on the Brooklyn/Queens border is becoming an arts space/community living space and you may be just the right person to join us. We will be building rooms that range in size and will cost $800-950 per month. One and one-half blocks from L train, sunny, custom-size rooms, 4,500 square foot rooftop with Manhattan view, huge common area with kitchen plus living room, high ceilings, awesome roommates. No pets allowed, no exceptions. To move in, we require first and last month's rent, and a security deposit. Also there are no walls yet so you can build them, or have Junglez do it. Contact kevin(at)newmindspace.com.

I am seeking a responsible, reliable and clean professional of any gender to share a two-bedroom apartment in the Prospect Park area, available December 1. The apartment is located on the corner of Parkside Avenue and Flatbush Avenue, right across the street from the Q train. Utilities are not included; they run roughly about $100 a month. The bedroom is about 10 by 14 and completely unfurnished. It has high ceilings, a hardwood floor, a closet, two large windows, and steam heat. The kitchen is fairly large, with a brand new fridge and stove. The living room is also large, and there is room for your furniture. The apartment is a totally smoke and drug free zone (yes, that includes 420). Social drinking is fine, but nothing excessive. Please don't be allergic to cats; I have one. One more cat is welcome to the household as long as it's friendly to both humans and other cats, and non-destructive. Sorry, no dogs. Contact melissa.s.cohen(at)gmail.com.

Room available in three-bedroom apartment in Crown Heights right next to the Franklin stop of the 2/3/4/5, for December 1. Rent is $710 per person (still rent-stabilized!). Security deposit is $710. The apartment is on the third floor of a walk-up building. Shared utilities are gas, electric, and wireless internet, which usually comes out to $45 each per month. The apartment is about a ten-minute walk to Prospect Park, the Botanic Gardens, the Brooklyn Museum and the giant library. There is a bus that goes right to Williamsburg too. The available room is really quiet, since it doesn't face Eastern Parkway. It has one window, gets good light, and well-heated in the winter. The apartment is chill, cozy, and clean. No cigarette smoke inside, but otherwise we're laidback and easy to live with. Once in a while we grab a beer together but mostly do our own things and keep pretty busy. You would be living with: two twenty-something queers. One is a lesbian librarian who works nigh
ts, and weekends but is often home during the day. The other works for a labor union, and does the 9-5 thing, so is home some evenings. We are looking for someone who is laidback, neat, responsible, queer/friendly, etc. Please write us a little bit about yourself and what you look for in a living situation. We can show the room during the day or evening. Contact 327EasternParkway(at)gmail.com.

I am moving out of my well-loved place in Gowanus on December 1 because I am moving in with friends. This big room is actually one small room and one medium room, connected. The building is a little junky: crooked angles, crumbly molding, radiators, hallway clutter, bad paint jobs. The landlord lives here and is very sweet and the other three female roommates keep to themselves. Big kitchen with gas stove and tiny refrigerator, one and a half bathrooms, no common space otherwise. One roommate has a cat that stays in her room. You could have a cat or other non-dog pet too. It's on 8th Street - very convenient to many Gowanus studios and practice spaces as well as the Bell House and Can Factory, G/F/R/M/and sometimes other trains at night. Best of all: $560/month plus a month and a half security deposit. Great if you want quiet privacy without the expense of your own place. Live/work depending on what you do. Not for lovers of new condos. Contact Annie, endannie(at)gmail.com.

I am looking for two long-term (year-plus) subletters -- one to begin December 1st, the other with more flexible dates, but to start no later than mid-January 2010. The total rent is $1800 plus utilities -- perfect for one or two easy-going, low key professional / academic / artist type individuals or a couple. This has been my home since 2002. I am very much hoping to find one or two super trustable people to take good care of it while I am in India. This furnished loft is in the Navy Yard area, Grand Avenue between Flushing and Park, along the water surrounded by Hasidic Williamsburg, Clinton Hill, Fort Greene and DUMBO. The large common area has an entire wall of windows facing the trees in a yard on the edge of the water between the Williamsburg and Manhattan bridges. Post office, laundry, dry cleaner, organic groceries, art supply store, Pratt, cafes, bars, shops, etc. are all within blocks from our industrial building (in front of which the landlord is about to plant
trees!) Both rooms are approximately 12 by 12, with lots of built-in storage, closet, dressers, and shelves. One has double door entry; the other is stacked on top with steps leading to it. The common area is the entire rest of the space, kitchen counters line the back corner, kitchen table, pantry shelves, juicer, espresso, microwave, dishes/cookware, pull-out futon couch, petite drum kit, desk/workspace areas, video projector, lots of bookshelves. The bathroom is large also with lots of natural light and claw-foot tub. The loft also has rooftop access (good for bbqs, outdoor screenings, yoga, hanging out, etc.), lovely views and seven floors of friendly, creative neighbors. Two months' deposit required -- one month will go to my roommate who is moving out, the other can be a separate check I only cash if something goes wrong. Contact nicole(at)relativelylocal.com.

We have a shared workspace available for $263 in our 1200 foot work studio in Williamsburg near South 11th and Bedford. The bit that's opening up is 160 square feet with three work walls, two large windows, 16 foot ceilings, wood floors. The other occupants are two other painters who are very, very rarely there --you'd usually have it to yourself and if you were inclined you could turn this bit completely private. There's also a jeweler and a writer. It's on the top floor of the building occupied by artists and such with communal slop sinks, two elevators, gorgeous views from space and rooftop. This space has very good light and a storage ledge in the back. The building is a huge old toy factory from the 1800s on the river (used to publish the old Wizard of Oz books here), quite eccentric. Basquiat worked here, there's circuses and such, as well as a few floors of mixed Hasidic and hipstersque residents (the first floors are residential). We're looking for someone quiet and
considerate--quiet is very important so no musicians, carpenters, etc. Rent is $263, heat included (awesome heater) but not electric (usually around $6-7 a month). Located near South 11th and Berry, near first L subway stop or first JMZ stop; two minutes to the bridge if you bike. Huge lumber yard/hardware one block away, supermarket as well. Contact Stewart at devilsgarden2003(at)yahoo.com or 917 750-2709.

DIYbio, biohacking group looking for a home. Basically we need a place with low rent, a door, a sink, and a little space for some lab equipment (table top centrifuge, freezer, etc). The experiments we'd be doing would fall within the lowest biosafety level, that's the safety level of high school labs, i.e. nothing dangerous going on. Contact leevonk(at)gmail.com, see: diybionyc.blogspot.com/

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate about the news and trade what our business friends call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains premised on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is our sci-fi present, and we like anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and ecology. Our basic idea is to connect minds with mind-blowing information and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. This section is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.groupgmail.com or spectregroup.org. Some of what came in this week:

Vanished 2,500 Year Old Persian Army Found in Desert?
http://news.discovery.com/archaeology/cambyses-army-remains-sahara.html
Bones found in Egyptian desert may be remains of Cambyses' army
"The 50,000 warriors were said to be buried by a cataclysmic sandstorm in 525 B.C. According to Herodotus, Cambyses sent the soldiers from Thebes to attack the Oasis of Siwa and destroy the oracle at the Temple of Amun after the priests there refused to legitimize his claim to Egypt. After walking for seven days in the desert, the army got to an "oasis," which historians believe was El-Kharga. After they left, they were never seen again. "A wind arose from the south, strong and deadly, bringing with it vast columns of whirling sand, which entirely covered up the troops and caused them wholly to disappear," wrote Herodotus. As no trace of the hapless warriors was ever found, scholars began to dismiss the story as a fanciful tale. Now, two top Italian archaeologists claim to have found striking evidence that the Persian army was indeed swallowed in a sandstorm. Twin brothers Angelo and Alfredo Castiglioni are already famous for their discovery 20 years ago of the ancient Egypti
an "city of gold" Berenike Panchrysos. Presented recently at the archaeological film festival of Rovereto, the discovery is the result of 13 years of research and five expeditions to the desert. According to Castiglioni, from El Kargha the army took a westerly route: "Since the oasis on the other route were controlled by the Egyptians, the army would have had to fight at each oasis." To test their hypothesis, the Castiglioni brothers did geological surveys along that alternative route. They found desiccated water sources and artificial wells made of hundreds of water pots buried in the sand. Such water sources could have made a march in the desert possible. At the end of their expedition, the team decided to investigate Bedouin stories about thousands of white bones that would have emerged decades ago during particular wind conditions in a nearby area. Indeed, they found a mass grave with hundreds of bleached bones and skulls. "We learned that the remains had been exposed by tomb robbers and that a beautiful sword which was found among the bones was sold to American tourists," Castiglioni said. A number of Persian arrow heads and a horse bit, identical to one appearing in a depiction of an ancient Persian horse, also emerged."

Buried in Minuteshttp://mitchtestone.blogspot.com/2008/10/lost-army-of-cambyses-redux.html
"The primary source for the tale of Cambyses and his lost army is the ancient Greek traveller and historian Herodotus, an intrepid man who travelled all over Egypt just 75 years after the Persian invasion. Herodotus followed in Cambyses' footsteps and recorded the local tales and histories of the invader. Unfortunately his impartiality is questionable; his Histories slander Cambyses remorselessly, painting him as a despot, madman and general ne'er-do-well. According to Herodotus, an army of 50,000 men was ordered to 'enslave the Ammonians and burn the oracle of Zeus'. Led by guides, the army set off into the desert, reaching 'the city of Oasis', known to the Greeks as 'The Isles of the Blest' (modern-day Kharga), seven days' march to the west. After this, they were never seen again, although the Siwans themselves were somehow able to give a rough account of what happened next. If Herodotus is right, the Persian army met a bleak end. The Western Desert is one of the hardest pl
aces in the world to be looking for lost relics. It is vast, covering about two-thirds of modern-day Egypt: an area of 680,000 square kilometres (263,000 square miles), equal to the combined size of Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Greece, the Netherlands, Norway and Switzerland. The conditions are incredibly harsh and desolate. Much of the area is restricted owing in part to the millions of landmines from World War II. And there is always the likelihood that any finds that are stumbled across will soon be covered up by the shifting desert sands."

Or Just Starve to Death and Eat Each Other
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1938822,00.html
"While these 50,000 Persian warriors disappeared in the desert, Cambyses didn't fare much better. At the time, he was marching on a kingdom in Ethiopia, but provisions ran out beneath a scorching sun and his troops were forced to pick lots having divided into groups of 10. According to Herodotus, the unfortunate 1 of each 10 was killed and eaten by the other ravenous troops. Cambyses eventually withdrew, chastened by Egypt and its desert."

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized, with general recurring classes at the end. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listings, announcements, and corrections to her at libbysentz(at)me.com.

***** LEARNING: OPEN CALL FOR TEACHERS*****

Teach at Madagascar Institute

Classes are coming back to Madagascar Institute this winter! This is your opportunity to become a revered (and paid) teacher at the most badass shop in Brooklyn. Popular classes in the past have included welding, screenprinting, machining, sewing, craft workshops, and more advanced technique classes. Classes generally run two or three hours, but you determine how much time you need to teach your class. If you are teaching a skill that requires more knowledge/practice, make it a multi-week class. Also feel free to think of creative class formats. If you are working on, say, a jet engine, it is perfectly permissible to teach �How to Build a Jet Engine� as a longer running class, schooling your students as they help you with your project. Visit the site for full details and to apply.

The Museum of Arts and Design is hosting its third DIY salon December 10 and needs artists to lead some workshops. They are looking for interesting DIY paper projects to be taught in the salon to complement MAD�s latest exhibition, "Slash: Paper Under the Knife." All types of paper manipulation will be considered (folding, cutting, twisting, etc.). The project must be completed within 20 minutes and interesting for beginners as well as experienced crafters. Expect to repeat your project demonstration multiple times during the evening. Each teaching artist will receive an honorarium of $100 for their participation, and all materials will be provided. Email proposals to jessica.sucher@madmuseum.org before Monday.

NOTE: Julio is a phenomenal teacher. This special Banda class will unleash your crazy naughty side.

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY *****

Litho Press Care and Maintenance

Learn exactly how litho and etching presses operate, as well as solving basic press maintenance problems. Perry Tymeson teaches basic press care and maintenance to help your press continue to operate with ease for years to come.

The course for 3D design beginners covers basic 3D design principles, Blender user interface, and box modeling techniques. You will come away having created a simple stick figure character and another design of your choosing. Bring a laptop and a mouse. Blender can run even on netbooks, but your best bet is a computer with a discreet graphics processor. A mouse is a must.

In class, you'll solder together a Freeduino board (Arduino Duemilanove-compatible), learn how to program it using the Arduino environment, wire up a few circuits and load up code to read sensors and light LEDs, and find out how to get more help in the future for all your projects. Please bring a laptop with the Arduino environment on it, available at arduino.cc/en/Main/Software. You'll leave with a micro-controller, a mini-USB cable, a power supply, and a few programs to play with.

In this two-day workshop series, you'll learn to use this ancient practice for pleasure, enlightenment, and to enhance your relationships. New York�s top Tantra teachers who will share philosophy, practices, and techniques in a safe yogic environment. Courses include An Intro to Tantra: Relationship as a Spiritual Practice, Energy Massage, BodySex, and many more exciting classes to be announced. Couples and singles are welcome; all practices are done fully clothed.

The Parts and Crafts Collective hosts a small, two-day, intensive workshop on computer programming for interactive art and computational design usingProcessing (processing.org), a programming language and environment built for the media arts and design communities to teach fundamentals of computer programming within a visual context and to serve as a software sketchbook. It is used by students, artists, designers, architects, and researchers for learning, prototyping, and production. This intro to programming concepts is geared toward artists and designers who have little to no programming experience. Coffee and a reasonably healthy homecooked vegan lunch will be provided both days. If you have particular dietary preferences/requirements, email them in advance and they'll try to honor your needs.

New Media Art and Performance Program
Brooklyn Campus, Long Island University
1 University Plaza, Brooklyn
2-5p; $free
RSVP: john.west@liu.edu
brooklyn.liu.edu/depts/MFA/index.html

***** LEARNING: SUNDAY *****

Write Action: Meditation and Writing

The Interdependence Project Writing Group bridges meditation and writing practices. The methodology is to keep the pen moving�a conscious engagement with writing, simply and beautifully, as process. Learn to separate creator from editor and explore the raw, fecund nature of first thoughts and spontaneity without judgment or expectation. Like meditation, personal writing practice can serve as another means to explore our minds in an authentic, in-the-moment kind of way. The monthly, two-hour sessions include sitting meditation, a variety of timed writing prompts, exercises, and sharing our work. The group is open to writers of all genres and experience levels. People brand new to meditation are also welcome.

Students will learn to turn their watercolor paintings into a monoprint using water-based products on Plexiglas to produce a singular print with unique qualities. A variety of watercolor techniques will be demonstrated and discussed. Work with your own reference material or the provided still-life arrangement, consisting of plants and flowers from the BBG gardens. You'll be taught how to plan, simplify, and design the finished piece of work. A supply list will be provided for the watercolors; the instructor will provide the printmaking supplies.

A theatrical exploration of our dreams that will incorporate yoga, guided meditation, and improvisational group theatre games. Dreams are the most universal and effortless form of creativity that we have all been blessed with, so come explore, and find out what your dreams would look like in real life! Bring: A yoga mat, notebook (dream journal), a few sleeping dreams you have had which you would be willing to share with a group.

Step behind the bar with mixologist Jonathan Pogash and craft your own original cocktails. After a quick primer on basic bar techniques, current cocktail trends, and the science behind perfect flavor combinations, you'll be let loose to create your own unique libations, using Jonathan�s guidance to perfect your technique. A cornucopia of spirits, mixers, fresh fruits, juices, herbs, and spices will be provided your creations; plus, you�ll leave with a goodie bag that could make your head spin (especially if you drink it all at once).

Dance, drum, and be energized by infectious Afro-Dominican rhythms. This low-cost class wants to continue to be weekly, but if enough students do not attend this Monday, they are going to cancel it. This would be a huge loss�NYC has the second-largest population of Dominicans outside of the Island and there are no other Afro-Dominican dance classes. You can help turn this into an ongoing weekly event.

The 17th Annual African Diaspora Film Festival, presenting 101 films from 45 countries. November 27 through December 15. nyadff.org

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

It is a wonderful thing, to help. Helping strengthens communities and allows you to meet new friends. With that in mind, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitment required. We want to be open to fresh ideas and think of help in a broad way. These listings could include anything from a large-scale day-long service project to a local theatre company that needs volunteers for load-in; from an artist looking for film extras to a community garden that needs a few extra hands. Our goal is simply to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways. Unique and interesting job opportunities are acceptable fare for this section as well. Looking for ways to help out? Need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Know of any existing opportunities? Send your requests to Rob Voigt at robpastyvoigt(at)gmail.com.

***** HELP: SATURDAY through MONDAY*****

Boxes of Love

This Thanksgiving, Children of the City will be operating a program called Boxes of Love which provides a 25lb box of food and either a turkey or ham to needy families in the community. On Saturday November 21, volunteers go to our partner in Queens to assemble the Thanksgiving Dinners; on Sunday November 22 we need a group to help unload a truck, and assemble the Boxes of Love Thanksgiving Dinners, then distribute them to families who come to our facility to receive one.

bit.ly/4hztO

***** HELP: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22 *****

The Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty is seeking a volunteer with cooking experience to instruct a group of 10-20 volunteers in preparing a Thanksgiving Dinner for our low-income and senior clients. Experience preparing kosher meals is a plus.

Make your thanksgiving extra meaningful this year: the Latino Center on Aging will hold again on its traditional Thanksgiving Day Meal for the Elderly program, one of the most important events of the year to the NYC Latino senior community. We need helping hands to serve Thanksgiving Day meals to seniors without family.

I am working on a theater project and for it I need a couple of true-to-life, humorous, or even just bizarre tales about Death in the family. Of course any family death is a hardship in some manner, but, quite often, something bizarre or funny happens, as if it's there to relieve the tension... I�m not looking for jokes or just one funny little moment -- I need stories.

I need to portray you the same way you portray the story. So I need to HEAR the story, be it through an audio file, a phone call, or a meet-up here in NYC (coffee and a snack is on me). While all names will be changed, the story must be YOUR story told from your point of view. Feel free to be opinionated, funny, heck, impersonate your family members if it makes sense to.

Please include your age, gender, location, background -- it's all integral yet not important in terms of choosing stories. There is no compensation, but should I get this produced you and several friends/family will be invited to see the show for free. In your e-mail please include at least your first name and a phone number if comfortable -- that way, if I have any questions, or need something clarified, I can ask you.

deathproject1(at)gmail.com

***** HELP: INTERNSHIP *****

Intern Needed for House of Yes Christmas Spectacular

This show is a festive yet absurd, in-your-face variety show, and we guarantee it will be overflowing with glitter, glamor, sex, comedy, synchronized dancing and outrageous musical theatre!

There's lots of work to do in preparation for this fabulous show, and we could use your help - getting materials, creating props and costumes, promoting, organizing, decorating and basically making sure everything runs smoothly. Our shows are December 4th, 5th, 10th, 11th, and 12th at 9pm. It would be great to have you assist at every show, but most importantly, we need help with preparation in the coming weeks. We can also offer perks such as custom clothes/costumes from Make Fun, aerial lessons at Skybox, stilt lessons and/or free admission to future House of Yes events! We will also cover your transportation costs, if needed.

This is a great opportunity to be a part of an inventive and collaborative show from start to finish at the House of Yes. It will look good on your resume, you'll make some amazing new friends, and it could even count as school credit if you are studying Theatre.

If interested, please reply to kaeburke(at)gmail.com with your availability, expertise, interest and a phone number. We look forward to working with you!

***** HELP: UPCOMING *****

November 29. Adoption Day (again!): Have you been thinking about adopting a cat? Well, now�s the perfect time to make the move. This Sunday, take a drive out to Jersey for an adoption day hosted by Animals Need You/Kindness Corps. There�s lots of cats in need of good homes! Animals Need You is a non-profit humane organization, dedicated to alleviating the plight of homeless and abandoned animals, and is staffed entirely by volunteers. They rescue animals in need, and provide them with food, shelter, and medical treatment as they prepare for adoption into suitable homes. Event at Petco, 201 Prospect Ave., West Orange, NJ, 11a-4p, 973-420-2981

*December 1. Creative volunteer needed to help organize and facilitate a creative arts workshop for Bailey House in honor of World Aids Day. We�re looking for an arts-and-crafts for the adult clients and a corporate volunteer group on Dec 1st from 2-4pm Bailey House will purchase all art materials that are needed. If you are interested please contact me, April McKenzie, at 212-633-2500 ext 460 or email volunteerbaileyhouse(at)gmail.com

XXXXX NONSENSE XXXXX

nonsense nyc is a discriminating resource for independent art, weird events, strange happenings, unique parties, and senseless culture in new york city.

please remember that you are always free to pass nonsense nyc along to anyone who needs to see it, but you do not have permission to use any of the listings for your commercial publication. if you are receiving this list as a forward from someone else you can sign up for yourself at nonsensenyc.com/subscribe.

we now accept donations to cover the costs of producing this list, and suggest $5 a year from individual readers or $20 a year if we list your events. to be clear, this is not a traditional subscription, but a donation because you believe that independent artists should support other independent artists. if you've ever paid for a ticket to see your friend's band you know what we mean. you can make donations here: nonsensenyc.com/special/. and thank you.

This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.

This mailing list is announce-only.

nonsense nyc is a discriminating resource for independent art, weird
events, strange happenings, unique parties, and senseless culture in new
york city.

we like rock bands and experimental musicians and arty films and
galleries and museums and big street festivals, but we can find
information about all of those things in other places. we generally will
not list these kind of things on their own. that leaves that other
stuff, the stuff that has no name or a name that you feel really
self-conscious saying out loud, like "underground."

we publish more or less once a week on fridays in easy digest format. if you sign up, the important thing to remember is that the nonsense nyc
happens because of you. that means we rely on you to let us know what
events you are organizing and what events you are attending. please keep
us up to date and don't assume that we'll find out about something from
someone else. our job is to gather, edit, organize, and filter; your's
is to make interesting thing happen and let us know about them. (and we
love you, and the other people on this list love you, for that effort.)

also, feel free to send us editorial comments. we certainly don't
endorse every event on this list, nor do we attend all of them. that
means it's nice to hear what you have to say. for instance, let us know
if you had the best time of your life last weekend, or, conversely, if you felt
like you were cheated out of $5 by some group that sounded good but
turned out to be hippie drummers.

anyway, please enjoy this list and remember to do your part to make new
york a better place to live.

Privacy Policy:

We will never sell or give away your email address or any other information.