Exposed and Exclusive: List of housemates for Big Boss season 3

Faking News has got exclusive access to the list of housemates for the third season of the reality show Big Boss. Our investigative reporter risked his life to get this list so that our readers’ insatiate needs for more knowledge and wisdom are satisfied. As expected, the list of housemates has got all the required ingredients to make the show controversial and a big hit internationally.

Shiney Ahuja
Even though he might have denied it, it has been confirmed that Shiney Ahuja got bail from the court to allow him to participate in the show. Shiney needs a lot of public sympathy and he is expected to cry and faint and ask for forgiveness from every Indian for his conduct. People would be able to forgive him by sending ITSOKBABA as a keyword from their mobiles. It’s rumored that Shiney will not be voted out at least in the first two weeks of the show, so that more and more people can SMS and forgive him. Each SMS will cost just 10 rupees.

Shiney’s maid
Yes! A surprise from the highly creative and innovative team of Big Boss, who have often been accused of being dorks for producing an unoriginal show. They have finally convinced Shiney’s maid to come on television and recount her experience. Contrary to what people have seen on television, Shiney’s maid actually has a clear face and not pixilated as seen in the photograph here. It’s rumored that she will have an out of court settlement with Shiney during the show, with 10% of the settlement money going towards the welfare of maids working in Bollywood actors’ houses.

Justice Dinakaran
In thick of controversy and corruption charges, Justice Dinakaran is just another surprise packet for the Big Boss 3. Dinakaran is expected to be voted out in the first week itself as he too prefers the same, for he is too busy with legal affairs. But the one week will allow him to connect with the ordinary citizens of India and pitch himself as being a worthy contender for the post of CJI. Big Boss producers are hoping that supporters of Ramdas Athawale will again break their office furniture over Justice Dinakaran being voted out for being a dalit.

Urmila Matondkar
There was a time when prefixes and suffixes like ‘sexy’, ‘hot’ and ‘nude’ were added by internet surfers with her name in Google, but now keywords like ‘Himesh’ and ‘make up’ accompany her name. Disappointed with this inexplicable shift and drop in public interest, participation in Big Boss 3 comes as a big relief to Urmila. She’s expected to tear apart Ram Gopal Varma during a hearty chit-chat with Big B. According to lastest reports, Ram Gopal Varma had refused to cast Urmila in his next venture, which is remake of Big B’s blockbuster Mard.

Boochar Tau
As the head of the most powerful Khap Panchayat of India and MTV Youth Icon of the Year, Boochar Tau is expected to protect the honor of the show. Tau will be an exception to all the housemates till date as he will not cry, whine or sob during the show, but he’s expected to induce these emotions upon other housemates, especially the women housemates. Boochar Tau is rumored to be the person who’d settle the case between Shiney Ahuja and his maid, but producers have vehemently denied any such development taking place on the show.

Manoj Kumar
The veteran actor would complement Boochar Tau on issues of honor and self respect. He’s expected to expose the deadly intentions of China, Pakistan, USA and SRK on the show. It’s widely being speculated that Manoj Kumar will announce his decision to produce a film in partnership with Dev Anand during his stay at Big Boss’ house. Apparently it’s the Indian version of Men in Black with Manoj Kumar and Dev Anand being in the lead roles. There would also be an item number by some Hollywood celebrity in the movie, sources say.

Britney Spears
Another exotic addition to the show after last year’s experiment with Jade Goody, who unfortunately is no more on television. But like Goody, Britney too will have an early exit from the show without being voted out by the Indian viewers. According to the script, Manoj Kumar would ask her for a screen test for the item number in his movie and she would oblige by singing and dancing. Apparently she’d perform “hit me baby one more time” and will be hit by Boochar Tau by his lathi (bamboo stick) on head, leading to her emergency exit.

Andrew Symonds
While Britney might be out early, to retain the international appeal of the show, Big Boss 3 will see the Australian cricketer-fisherman Andrew Symonds as a housemate. Symonds will try to tell the cricket crazy nation of India how he deserves sympathy despite all the controversies surrounding him. Apparently Manoj Kumar will have a heated exchange with him over the issue of racial attack on Indian students down under and end up calling him a monkey, which will leave Symonds in tears, reminding us of what happened to Shilpa Shetty in Big Brother.

Kalavati
After pulling out of the Maharashtra assembly elections, Kalavati, the finding of Rahul Gandhi’s discovery of rural India, has finally decided to become a housemate in Big Boss. The NGO supporting her candidature as a housemate will share the SMS revenues with the producers of the show to further the cause of poor people in the country. Producers claim that they are trying to convey a message to the general public by inducting Kalavati as a housemate – the message that Indian political system needs the provision for a negative vote – just like people vote in Big Boss.

Piggy
Another innovative and creative addition by the Big Boss producers. Piggy, the cloned pig, would the first non-human being to star in any version of Big Boss in any part of the world. The producers claim that they are trying to convey yet another message around the world – that Swine Flu has got nothing to do with sweet little pigs – and it will be proved so, with none of the housemates getting the deadly disease at the end of the show. Like Shiney Ahuja, Piggy too will not be available to be voted out for the first two weeks of the show.

Meera
The Pakistani actress’ inclusion as a housemate is another attempt to add international flavor to the third season of Big Boss. Meera is expected to divulge secrets about her controversial marriage and how she was asked to apologize and pay a fine for kissing an Indian on screen. Meera could further court trouble as experts foresee further fine levied on Meera for cohabiting with a pig (Piggy in particular), which is a haraam animal according to Islamic tenets. Meera is excited over the prospects.

Baba Ram Rahim
While most people believed and speculated that it would be Baba Ramdev as a housemate in Big Boss season 3, our investigative team has learned that it’d be another spiritual guru, the controversial Baba Ram Rahim of Dera Sachcha Sauda, who would participate in the show as a housemate. Baba Ramdev had apparently refused the offer as he’s already signed another reality show where homosexuals would be treated live on television through yoga. Inclusion of Baba Ram Rahim is expected to push the TRPs in Punjab, Haryana and Canada.

Munaf Patel
Yes, there will be two cricketers as housemates this time (Andrew Symonds being the first one). Munaf is expected to share his experiences as a part of the Rajasthan Royals team and cry over the last year title loss. It’s rumored that Shilpa Shetty will make a special appearance in the show and console Munaf. Bobby Darling, the national transsexual, will also make a special appearance on the show and fight with Munaf for breaking his/her heart. Bobby will publicly ask every viewer to vote Munaf out.