Don’t Shoot Commander Kick Ass, You’ll Only Make Him Mad

I can only imagine the reaction back at Red Sox HQ in the bottom of the seventh of last night’s game, when a line drive off the bat of David DeJesus went buzzing back toward the mound, threatening to separate Josh Beckett’s melon from his shoulders. With a fat contract just signed and our hopes resting largely on Commander Kick Ass, it’s likely that more than a few people saw the entire season flash before their eyes in that instant. Thankfully, it only grazed him and, as we all know, what doesn’t kill Beckett only pisses him off, whether it’s a missile off the bat or an ex-playmate singing the National Anthem. And he went on to get the win.

Last night’s performance certainly wasn’t vintage Beckett, but it was “good enough” Beckett, especially when combined with some stellar offense, including two home runs by tied-for-the-team-lead-in-dingers Jason Varitek. Alright, so a lot of guys have held the dubious title of “home run leader after just the first week of the season” in Red Sox history, including the great Luis Rivera, so I won’t pencil Tek in for 60 round-trippers just yet. But after watching ReliaWake do his thing Friday night, it was kinda cool to see the Captain — more or less an afterthought of the 2010 season — get his kicks in, helping to secure Commander Kick Ass’ first win of the season. And, holy crap, was that Scenic Mikey Lowell, announcing his intent to retire at the end of this season before the game, getting all Spider-Man on us and making a stellar defensive grab in the second? About the only thing this one was missing was Johnny Pesky stepping into the on-deck circle.

A textbook definition of a “team win,” and one that sets the stage nicely for this afternoon’s rubber game. It’s Buchholz vs. Meche at 2:10, people. Pull up a chair and join us.