Unleash Your Inner Sex Kitten

The day I became a sex kitten started out like any other. I got the kids dressed and fed, drove my son to school and raced to make it to the office 10 minutes late (again). But then, at lunch, my best friend suggested that we go to a local sex store for some new "toys."

I was uneasy at first -- the only toys I buy come from Toys "R" Us -- but after 10 years of marriage, I have to work at keeping things fresh. So I went for it: I purchased an X-rated sex toy, some lube and an adult DVD, and that night I sprung them all on Jay. It took only seconds for him to spring right back -- and the sex was hotter and more intimate than ever. Want more bedroom bonding? Read on for a blueprint to help you find your inner sex kitten. Meow!

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Consider this your warm-up zone -- the goal here is to stretch your repertoire a bit and snap yourself (and him!) out of autopilot. This stage is all about small, simple moves that make a big impact. And remember: The only things you have to lose are your inhibitions.

Sex up your bedroom
Transforming your staid bedroom into a steamy boudoir is the quickest way to get both of you inspired. Think how much more fun a party is when creative decorations transport you to a festive new world. So first, stash the clutter -- who feels like getting wild when you're staring at a pile of laundry? Next, swap your usual sheets for satiny ones -- they feel so sensuous against bare skin that your nerve endings can't help but snap to attention. Then, drape a silky scarf over your bedside lamp. The glow will make your bodies look amazing -- especially if you use scarves in sunset tones of red, pink, purple and orange. Or just switch your lightbulb to a red or pink one, and make that your secret sign to him that you want a romp.

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Rent a steamy movie
Tonight, DVD stands for Daring Vixen Device. Screen a sexy movie like Wild Things, in which Matt Dillon gets cozy with Neve Campbell and Denise Richards. Then invite your man to cuddle under a blanket. When the scenes get hot (and they will), let your hands roam freely under the covers.

Keep your heels on
In bed, that is. Sport stilettos with your nightie -- they'll make your legs look longer and your calves more shapely. And even when you slip out of your lingerie, conveniently "forget" to take your shoes off. "I was a little scared to try this, because I thought I'd end up looking trashy and feeling silly," says Laura, 33, of Oklahoma City. "But it actually felt amazing -- like I was so caught up in the moment, I hadn't had time to take my shoes off. And that inspired us to have fast, frenzied sex." For bonus points, make love standing up: The extra height will give you new sensations -- and him a little extra leverage.

Have sex sideways
Sure, there are thousands of sexual positions out there, but most people rely on the big three -- missionary, woman on top and from behind. That's why simply having sex in a new position can feel downright daring. Try sideways spooning: "You'll both feel more skin, which is always sensual and romantic," says Sadie Allison, president of ticklekitty.com and author of Tickle His Pickle. "Plus, he's in prime position to nuzzle the nape of your neck, and his hands are free to caress and rub you all over."

So you've had your way with three or four of the preceding tips? Nice work: You're ready to brave one (or more) of these more advanced moves. Pick your favorite idea from this list -- or try them all in order (they go from mildly to oh-my adventurous).

Take charge
Tell your man he's all yours tonight, then tie him to the bedposts with silk scarves or his ties. (No headboard? Loosely bind his hands behind his back.) When you tie him up, you're giving him permission to just kick back and receive pleasure. So don't rush; enjoy tending to him from head to toe. Then offer up your wrists and take your turn.

Give him a lap dance
Dancing in front of your man takes guts, sure -- but you'll feel like a sex goddess, and he'll treat you like one, too. Sit him in a dining room chair, lower the lights and put on your favorite CD. Then start your slow, seductive striptease. The key is to drive him crazy by giving him strategic peeks at your skin, so play coy, slowly shedding clothes as you go. Check out Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease DVD for inspiration.

Talk dirty
You've heard that the brain is the biggest sex organ. Well, saying sexy words aloud stimulates that organ more than anything else, because you're vocalizing your most private desires. Feel shy? Most people do at first. But according to Kerry McCloskey, author of The Ultimate Sex Diet, you don't have to spew four-letter words to turn you both on. "Lower your voice an octave, and talk slower than you normally would," she advises. "Then tell him just what you want to do to him."

Be his genie in a bottle
Tonight, grant him one sexual wish (naturally, you reserve final veto power). "When I finally got up the nerve to ask my guy what his wish was, he said he's always fantasized about me giving him oral sex while he drank single-malt scotch and smoked a cigar," says Jamie, 32, of Dallas. "He said it was one of the best nights of his life, and he felt like a king." Of course, he's likely to return the favor.

Put a new spin on an old position
When you're on top, face his legs instead of his face. "I call this the Cowgirl Spinner," says Allison. "He gets a great view of your booty, and you're at a slightly different angle, which makes the sex feel new and exciting for you both."

Feeling invincible? You should be -- it takes guts to ditch your favorite mattress moves for new ones. While you're on a hot streak, keep going further. These tricks are more adventurous -- but with bigger risks come bigger rewards (and yes, bigger orgasms, too).

Have phone sex
You don't have to be a phone-sex operator to experience some 1-900 fun. While he's watching TV in the living room, call him from the bedroom on your cell phone and tell him that you're touching yourself. Describe exactly what you're doing -- and what you're longing for him to do to you. Then invite him to join you in the bedroom (if he isn't there already!).

Do it on deadline
Set an egg timer next to the bed. Tell him he gets to pleasure you for 10 minutes. When the buzzer goes off, you return the favor. Racing against time will get your heart racing, giving you new sexual momentum!

Have a (role) play date
Pretend you're someone else for the night -- or just for the next five minutes. You're the stranded motorist; he's the tow-truck driver. You're the horny housewife, and he's the hunky plumber. Role-playing lets you take on different personas and say or do things the "real you" wouldn't normally do, says McCloskey. Plus, it grants you both the thrill of an affair -- with each other.

Punish him
Just saying the letters "S" and "M" conjures up images of leather and whips. But light S&M can up the fun factor without upping the fear factor: "Pleasure pain" delivers an endorphin rush and stimulates your most delicate nerve endings, which heightens the sexual experience, says Allison. "When he's on top, gently swat his butt with a rubber spatula," she suggests. "Pull his hair a bit and give him a light slap down there." For added oomph, say he's been a bad boy and needs to be punished. If he presses for details, tell him you caught him spying on you while you were undressing...or...you found a porno mag under his bed...or...you fill in the blank!

Feel him up
Sex in a public place can be intoxicating, but it's usually too risky to even think about. There are sneakier ways to score that "What if someone catches us?" thrill. Get hands-on during dinner at a restaurant with long tablecloths. Between courses, let your fingers wander over to your man's lap and stroke away. You'll both be so hot and bothered, we see lots of to-go bags in your future!

Think sex toys are scary gizmos found only in that sleazy shop on the bad side of town? Not anymore. Just check out these fun, female-friendly romance props -- all of which can be discreetly ordered online.

Bedroom Blindfold
Cover your guy's eyes with a frisky animal-print mask. Then tell him to stay still -- he's in for a treat. His senses will be on high alert as he anticipates what you'll do next. ($7.95, adameve.com)

Sexy Cuffs
Fuzzy handcuffs are perfect for a naughty game of cop and robber. They come with a key so you can release him -- or not! ($8.99, fuzzythis.com)

Daring Dice
Shy? With Intimate Encounters dice, you can try racy things without having to think them up yourself. One die features words like "kissing" or "biting"; the other shows symbols of body parts. Take turns rolling to come up with all sorts of sexy moves. ($5.95, mypleasure.com)