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Classic parenting advice—from social networks and apps

When it comes to social media our parents provided the best advice possible—“just be yourself.” They didn’t know it at the time, but they were helping us prepare for a life online, where authenticity is rewarded.

This got me thinking, what if social media platforms or apps had parents? What advice would they be given as they mature and find their identities? Here are a few classic lines, some slightly altered, that apply:

Vine

“I’m going to count to six … ”

Twitter

“If your friend retweeted every kitten photo, would you do it, too?“

Facebook

“You can have privacy when you pay for your own home.”

Quora

“Answer me when I ask you a question.”

Instagram

“Quit being so dramatic.”

LinkedIn

“Why can’t you be more like your friend? She’s a doctor.”

Wikipedia

“Because I said so.“

Pinterest

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

YouTube (comments)

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Uber

“Do you want me to stop this car right now?”

TaskRabbit

“You have two legs. Get it yourself.”

Any you’d care to add?

Brian Adams consults with nonprofits, including Komera Project, regarding communications strategy. I am the former senior director of communications at United Way of Massachusetts Bay and Merrimack Valley. A version of this story first appeared on the author's blog.