How To Use Narcissism To Your Advantage

A little dose of narcissism is beneficial in the workplace, too. It gives us confidence to succeed, by helping us push harder when we hit a setback. And don’t worry if the boss has a bit of a swagger; it might benefit the whole company. In one study, bosses took a narcissism test, after which their employees rated them on their leadership skills. Leaders with low and high narcissism received the worst ratings. Employees of moderately narcissistic bosses, however, saw them as people who lead with courage, conviction, and compassion. These were CEOs and supervisors who inspired instead of undermining, who brought out the best in everyone around them.

How can you harness this magic? Keep a daily diary of how you compare to people around you—better or worse—on the traits you value most. Describe the times, dates, places, actions, and reasons your behavior felt like an example, say, of how you’re especially honest, compassionate or patient. According to research, you could enjoy a boost in your ego and sense of wellbeing in just one week.

Another way: Take more emotional risks with your loved ones. Open up to them when you feel hurt or sad or worried—and ask them for comfort and support. A wealth of studies show that depending on people this way helps you feel special while keeping your arrogance in check.

In the end, that’s the greatest benefit of rethinking narcissism: when we recognise and enjoy the gifts of healthy narcissism, we empower ourselves to live happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.