Looking for Love in All the Wrong ‘Spiritual’ Places

Looking for Love in All the Wrong ‘Spiritual’ Places

I’m going to start this article with that one word because it means everything in the way of manifestation. When I first starting manifesting at 17, I was lead down the rabbit hole of New Age superstition. “Think positive!” “The words you speak have a frequency which creates your reality!” “If you’re calling in love, get into that vibration and feeeeeellll love for your partner!”

I did it all. Most of my early 20’s were in pursuit of that special someone. Though I was usually in a monogamous relationship, I, like many of you, was fed the Disney digest that there’s a true soulmate out there that is going to complete me — complete the picture that society, marketing, holiday commercials, and so on have defined as the mold for happiness. I was one NBC drama damsel-in-distress dating mishap away from my Dream-Doctor-Prince-Charming walking in and using all his free time to show me how much more complete I could be from his grand romantic gestures.

I was ready. I set the other side of my bed as if my soulmate had already magically appeared in my life. I visualized. I even drove to Malibu on new moons to write my manifestation in the sand (before new moons were a thing). But this partner never showed up. And more tricky dating situations and messy relationships did. Where had I gone wrong?

Worth!

That word again?!

It wasn’t until I started understanding the energy of worth that everything began coming into focus (and fruition). It wasn’t until I started stepping into my wholeness, integrating my authenticity, and not settling for what wasn’t in congruence with my uniqueness that my x, y and z finally showed up.

I hadn’t given up on manifestation, but I had stumbled into the realization that snake oil New Age spiritual bypass was failing me. It took work, not positive thoughts, frequencies, or vibrations. I found that when I would advocate for myself and my worth, so would The Universe.

So is love a vibration? Sure, but not the kind you’ve been spoonfed. Vibration sounds abstract, confusing, indigestible… but there’s a hack! Self-worth = manifestation. Meaning, when we reintegrate our authenticity and truth and step into our power and worth by no longer settling for where we’ve been small in the past, we are met with our intentions.

Love is a vibration. But it isn’t something external that is going to come and fill you up. It’s something you work to find in yourself — an unapologetic autonomy and respect. A going-against-the-grain of deep insecurities incurred by shame, the need to fit in so that you don’t stand out, and the excruciatingly brave act of living in your truth. It is then that this wholeness is formed. It is now ready to receive what we’ve intended. A positive thought won’t get you there, but a deep dive into releasing what programming or molds aren’t serving you, will.

Wholeness attracts wholeness. From love to anything else one desires in life. It’s the most magnetic force one can emit. It takes courage and worth. And boy, does it feel good!

I guess the age old saying, “Like attracts like” has some literal truth to it. Especially that part that goes, “Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.”

Lacy Phillips is the founder of FREE & NATIVE as well as a Manifestation Advisor specializing in unblocking beliefs of unworthiness and expanding into alignment with what one is calling in. Her unique formula is rooted in deep subconscious beliefs and navigating lessons from The Universe rather than through “think positive” and “visualization” methods. Lacy supports each individual — from her celebrity clients to her scholarship program — by advising them on how to step into their whole authentic selves in order to create long-lasting magnetism and attract what they desire.

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