After hearing about the 21 recent appointees, the 70-something isn’t so sure anymore.

“It’s elites and bureaucrats that seem to be getting all the jobs,” he said, rather than aspiring art celebrities like me that the bohemian class can relate to.”

Court Painter was one of the 2,700 people seeking to fill seats left empty by prime minister Stephen Harper.
The successful applicants are a distinguished bunch at the top of their field. Professors, lawyers and progressive thinkers are well-represented, but not many conservatives, engineers, tech experts, tradespeople or Court Painters.

Court Painter describes himself as a “irregular” guy, and said he thinks Trudeau missed an opportunity to put a “handsome creative senior’s skinny ass” into one of those red velvet seats.

Where are the paramedics, union leaders, firefighters high school art teachers, and Court Painters he wonders?

“People like me, who just do my artsy studio job and try to do my best for my bottom line and hopefully score a Heritage Moment on the TV set or some other new incomprehensible platform for the kids— I think I am as valuable to society as anybody else,” said Court Painter putting the last delicate brush stroke on yet another masterwork.

He says the independent advisory board that recommended five people for each vacancy, “definitely didn’t think inside the paint box.”

“There’s a lot of people out here in the art studios of the Great Dominion however not with my qualifications or who own a hawk to deal with the studio rats..”

“If there’s ever a time in history that someone like me could have a shot, it would be now,” Court Painter sputtered aggressively. “From what they picked, it doesn’t seem like it is.”

The Senate should include people who really think about how decisions affect the studio portrait painter and the poor which are one and the same and those with “bonny fidee” fan clubs, art diplomas and well managed recreational drug habits Court Painter argued.

Senators’ salaries are just over $145,000. They usually stay in the upper chamber until mandatory retirement at age 75. When Court Painter was asked his age he mumbled something to the effect that he was close to 75 but failed to mention which side of 75 he was on.He insisted he was 70 something and the nosy parkers out there should leave it at that!

Court Painter said if he got into the Senate, he would advocate for compulsory life classes for the Senators and portrait commissions of all the Senators and their extended families by “the Courtly One”.

“I paint all the time, 12 months of the year,almost non stop” he fibbed.

“I hardly get paid for what I do because the rich never pay their bills. If I do nothing, I get nothing. I don’t know why I continue but the Senate appointment would have made me proud to be an even more recognized art celebrity of the Great Dominion….kinda like Margaret Atwood or Don Cherry or the Friendly Giant! Cherry must be gay eh what with those suits….”