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To the cousin that molested and raped me

How does it feel going on like nothing has ever happened? How can you peacefully sit there whilst a child, whilst I suffered for your crimes at the hands of our family?
I was 13 years old! You were 20 odd, you abused me, physically, emotionally and mentally and took pieces of me each time.
The day your disgusting huge hand covered half of my face so you could stop me from screaming for help, do you remember that day? You used such force that you cut inside my mouth and I develop an ulcer over the gigantic wound you left! That's not the only wound though is it KP?! Do you remember raping me over & over again for a year of my short life? Just think how small and underdeveloped I was for half of my face to be covered by your hands.
Do you remember the day you made me leave school to go to your mothers house with you, pretending to be my father waiting outside? Do you remember what you did to me? The same thing you did on several occasions. You pulled down my underwear shamed and humiliated me. You called me a whore, you said I was having sex with teachers and any person your warped vile mind could think of.
Do you remember punching me? Stripping me of my sanity? And taking away my virginity? Do you remember the tears I cried and the screams I made for you to stop? Do you remember me tearing out my hair because you had backed me into a corner like a helpless Animal trapped in a cage? Do you remember? Do you remember telling me I wasn't allowed to see my poor father on the weekends anymore because I was having sex with him? Do you? That tore my heart more than anything.
Do you remember planting your vile rape seed inside of me? I was so scared! I was petrified, I remember lying on the hospital bed with a drip in my arm hoping it had air inside of it so that it entered my veins and killed me. I killed a child. Your rape seed.
You made me a murderer at 13.
That isn't all you did is it KP? This is just a microscopic proportion of what you did to me.
Are you pleased? When was it exactly that I became the perpetrator? When did I a skinny little child that wouldn't harm a fly become the predator? You will answer for your crimes. You will come to understand all your torment. YOU ARE THE PEDOPHILE. YOU ARE THE RAPIST. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT HAS COMMITTED THESE CRIMES. You can not run forever.