This one’s for our Canadian pals, all too often ignored by us as America’s Hat. If you’re a Robert’s Wireless Pay-As-You-Go Customer, once you dial up their customer support line the chances of you escaping the plunging maze of robot menus by speaking to an actual human is roughly equivalent to your chances of doggy paddling through the cold vacuum of space your way outside the event horizon of the black hole of oblivion towards which you’re being inexorably sucked.