Michele Benyue couldn’t be happier with the home-based day care her 2-year-old son attends. But finding the right setting for him was stressful.

“It was a pretty huge decision and nerve-racking for us,” said Benyue, a Bridgewater third-grade teacher whose son has serious food allergies. “He is our pride and joy. We wanted a safe place where there would be a lot of focus on him and that was not too hectic.”

When it comes to child care, all working parents want the same thing: a caregiver and setting where their children will thrive. But the choices can seem endless, and parents often wrestle with the pros and cons of smaller family-based day care, larger center-based care or having someone come to their home.

“It’s a diverse system where there are an array of options, if you can afford them,” said Patty Hnatiuk, professor of early education at Wheelock College in Boston. “Massachusetts has among the most rigorous standards in the country, which helps to assure better quality.”

In addition to considering affordability and convenience, parents first must decide whether to hire a caregiver to care for children in their own home or whether to take children to a provider. Outside the home, two types of care are available: a family day care with one adult for a small number of children or a child care center with multiple adults who care for many children.

Jenna Gavula, a graphic designer at Hasbro Industries, explored all the options before deciding on a home-based day care for her 22-month-old daughter, Cora, who has been at Jackie’s Day Care in Hopkinton since she was 3 months old.

“She’s my first child, and I wanted to understand all the options,” said Gavula, 34, of Hopkinton. “I received a lot of referrals, met with nannies and visited family and center day cares.”

Sometimes, parents select different options for their children as they grow, Hnatiuk said. They may choose the intimacy and flexibility of a home environment for an infant and toddler and the stimulation and structure of a center for a preschool child. When they have more than two children, parents may consider a nanny or in-home provider more affordable and convenient.

Parents usually start the process by asking friends, neighbors and co-workers and by doing online searches. They also consult referral services, which are particularly useful when parents are new to a community, need child care financial assistance or want to better understand the options.

In Massachusetts, parents can search online through regional Child Care Resource and Referral agencies, funded by the state Department of Early Education and Care. In addition to detailed information about family and center-based options, parent also can check for training and licenses on the site’s Professional Qualifications Registry and for quality on its Quality Rating and Improvement System. If parents want a provider to come to their home, they can contact nanny placement agencies, as well as student employment offices at colleges and universities.

Page 2 of 3 - Hnatiuk advises that parents focus more on human qualities and relationships than how the space looks and is equipped.

“The physical environment is important, but the quality really depends on the kinds of interactions the adults have with children,” she said. “Are they friendly, happy? Is there simpatico between the parents and (providers) around values and goals for the children?”

Gavula, who started her search when she was pregnant, first learned of Jackie’s Day Care from the website care.com. She visited during day care hours to watch Jackie with the children, spoke with references, and ultimately followed her intuition.

“I had a good gut feeling,” said Gavula, who now plans to send her second child, due in May, to Jackie’s. “I really liked the personal attention I felt she would get at Jackie’s. Jackie was high energy and loving, and also able to give discipline. She also was more economical than a nanny.”

Benyue – who had to find child care within two weeks after a family member could no longer care for her son – first heard of Joanie’s Like Home Day Care from numerous people in Bridgewater, where she lives.

Benyue previously had worked in a day care she considered poorly staffed, which canceled that option for her. She also wanted the consistency of a single caregiver who provided meals and snacks, so she could be sure her son would not be exposed to food that would cause an anaphylactic reaction.

“When I visited and watched her with the kids, I knew I had to have her,” Benyue said. “I loved the way she engaged with the children, and her house was very kid-friendly.”

In contrast, Elaine Mak of Quincy knew from the start that she wanted center-based care, which offered supervision by numerous adults and a more formal program of activities.

“I felt more adults could keep the children safe and make sure people are really doing their job,” said Mak, an office administrator, whose children, 18 months and 4 years old, started going to Wollaston Child Care Center after they were a year old. “And I valued the structure and the exposures my children would get.”

Page 3 of 3 - When she visited the center, she liked that the toddler and preschool rooms were clean and designed specifically for children and that she could observe the classes through a window.

“At the beginning when my daughter was young, I was anxious about choosing a place, and had tons of questions,” said Mak, whose friends had recommended the center. “Now, I’m very happy they are there and getting to try a lot of different things.”

Jody Feinberg may be reached at jfeinberg@ledger.com or follow her on Twitter @JodyF_Ledger.