A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Friday, May 27, 2011

DUmmie whines: "I hate where our country is right now."

WAAAAAAAAAHH!!! The Daze of Whine and Poses never end at DUmmieland. Today's contribution? This THREAD by DUmmie kentuck, "I hate where our country is right now."

So let us go to the land where we cannot question their patriotism, i.e., DUmmieland, where the comments are in Read-Whine Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who finally found some Flor de Caña rum here in St. Louis, PJ-Comix, and I put some on my vanilla ice cream--is in the [brackets]:

I hate where our country is right now.

[But, but, I thought Obamassiah was going to usher in the Age of Rainbows and Sparkles? Wha' hoppen?]

I used to believe we were a free country.

[I used to BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!]

I used to believe that we were better than those countries that would torture other people.

[Don't worry, the torture's over. Oprah has retired.]

I used to believe that we could trust our elected officials and our President to protect our freedoms.

[Blah, blah, blah. . . .]

I used to believe we were a brave country, not a country of cowards.

[I am used to seeing the DUmmies do these "hyper-parallel constructionism" OPs time after time after time. . .]

I used to believe that someone would always come forward and speak the truth . . .

[TO POWER!]

and lead us to the light.

[Hey, what about the Lightworker? I thought he was going to fix everything. Unicorns farting rainbows and sparkles, you know.]

[Then you became a liberal and forgot about that whole "limited government" business.]

Now, sadly, I see a country that I am ashamed to call my own.

[Canada beckons.]

Call me un-American or whatever you wish.

["Un-American" will do.]

I apologize if this might offend you.

[Is that you, Ed Schultz?]

[Now we go to the other DUmmies, responding to kentuck's "I hate where our country is right now." . . .]

Last I checked, it was in the same spot it was a few years ago, but Japan has shifted by a few feet.

[The better to send their radiation into our cows' milk!]

The only citizens I know that defend big banks of corporations are the tea baggers. . . . The great majority of the country would love to see bankers in chains. . . .

[benburch qualifies on both scores--teabagger, and loves to see guys in chains.]

I know a lot of people who consider themselves on the left who defend corporations all the time. Of course, most of them work for corporations.

[I don't believe it! The part about lefties working, I mean.]

Want to see this country's position flipped by 180 degrees?...wait 12 hours.

what's going to happen in 12 hours?

The earth will have rotated....180 degrees!

[Rimshot!]

I didn't have time to read beyond the thread title, but I would like to encourage you to be patient. . . .

[Irony much?]

When you watched the moon landing You saw the apex of American achievement. It's all been downhill from then.

[One small stop for apex. One giant slip for moonbats.]

I feel like I live in a bubble.

[I feel like you live in a basement.]

Ohio is turning into a right-wing nightmare state.

[Cue the Crying DUmmie!]

it's only gonna get worse too. Guaranteed. its the second law of thermodynamics at work: the universe is spiraling into chaos. . . .

[You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. . . .]

Reagan was the worst President we ever had by a mile. Even worse than Richard Nixon or James Buchanan.

[What about Chimpy McBushitler? . . . How soon they forget. . . .]

I am what I call a "Frank Capra" American. . . .

[You are what I call a "Fulla Crapola" American.]

We the people of these United States are no more...at least not yet.

[Make up your mind.]

Its up to us..not the media not our elected officials.....not the police....only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT WE GET RID OF THE COWARDS AND ALL THE CROOKS IN THIS COUNTRY THAT HAS DRIVEN THIS COUNTRY INTO HELLS LAP.

[WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!! AAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!]

And "only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT" cannot be done by sitting in front of a computer screen day in, day out. . . .

[Oh, why not? I sent a Letter To The Editor last week! DUAC! DUAC!]

if not to plan, organize, and coordinate a movement that would involve some 50 million people in street protests (or more than 50 million, if 50 million won't be enough...)

We are run by a set of vultures and there does not seem to be any way to stop them. . . . Vultures? More like cannibals.

[Most of you like cannabis.]

I am MUCH more concerned about republicans than mere terrorists.

[Beware the Palinstinians!]

Something else about Pat Sajak. He is ultra-sensitive about his height. They have elevated platforms behind the podiums where the contestants stand for Pat to stand on so he will never appear to be too short. You will seldom (never?) see a tall Wheel of Fortune contestant and some are really short. I guarantee Wheel of Fortune has a question on their entrance form like, "How tall are you?" If you are over 5'4" you are eliminated.

[Before the show, they put contestants ON the Wheel and run it in reverse, to make them shorter.]

""""I used to believe that we were better than those countries that would torture other people."""""

Oh, you mean your wonderful Mooslim countries that "honor" kill females for reading a book or getting raped and those beautiful countries that execute homosexuals and fire upon protestors??? Those wonderful lands that cut people's heads off????Yeah, Terhan is much better than a horrible place like DesMoines, Iowa.

Normally your commentary is spot- on, but there's a small error here:"I used to think we were a compassionate country that would take care of those in need and hungry.

[Yes, it was called family, friends, church, community, private charity. . . .]"I don't think "Was" is the right word, as all of those still today help to take care of the poor and needy.Though, of course, the DUmmies would spit on those means of providing aid, and insist that only a bloated federal government should do it.

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I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
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