The photo above is what was inside of a fortune cookie that I opened on Saturday. What kind of jerk puts something like this inside of a cookie?! I don’t know if this is telling me that I’m destined to go to prison, or become the victim of some type of criminal act.

As you can clearly see, I was destined to make the world laugh. How else can you explain the random occurrences of nonsense in my life? I just got disrespected by a fortune cookie! To add even more insult to injury, they surrounded this negative, Debbie Downer prediction with happy little smiley faces. It’s not right, people!