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As Season 17 Bachelor Sean Lowe fell in love with contestant Catherine Giudici, America fell in love with them. While America probably didn't want to wait for the wedding night consummation, the born-again virgins did. Now that the honeymoon is over, the couple is ready to update the world with newlywed bed fireworks news.

As Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici's wedding neared, the sexual tension brought on by months of self-denial and anticipation began to mount.

The 27-year-old bride-to-be admitted to In Touch that even with all the frenzy of planning a wedding and attending all the promotional events, getting Sean alone after the nuptials was foremost on her mind:

"I've been attracted to Sean since I first met him, but now it's like we've merged into a single, inseparable person. I can't wait to solidify that bond!"

According to Sean, it was quite the solidification.

The 30-year-old furniture store owner told Us Weekly that they practically moved mountains:

"The whole day capped off by the wedding night...Fantastic! Thank you for asking. I think we both performed extremely well. There was a parade that went through the room!"

Are there parades that only last for three minutes?

Anyway...Sean went on to tell Us Weekly that Catherine wasn't the only one that couldn't get enough during their Bora Bora honeymoon:

"There were stingrays that would come right up to you--about 20 of them. After I fed one, it tried to eat my crotch, for lack of a better word...I thought I was going to lose my manhood. But they don't have teeth, just suction."

The couple have been married a week, but haven't completely worked out, just what their idea of a family is.

Catherine is apparently looking to prepare her body for about a year, before trying for her first of five kids, but Sean told Us Weekly that he isn't so sure about all that:

"I have on sibling. That sounds like a lot to me."

Sean should have thought about all that before they started all this solidifying.