Yes, I retired to a lifestyle incorporating more leisure travel than previously.
In my first year, starting March 2013, I managed to be away 13 weeks, compared to maybe five while I was working.
This included foreign travel, both European and Caribbean, and domestic travel, both flying and road trips.

Then when I'm home, I try to find one day a week (most weeks) when the weather is good and it makes sense to do a day hike or bike ride.

And though I don't recall planning for it ahead of time, I've been spending more time getting better at cooking, specifically with Chinese recipes. I miss the Chinese lunch truck from my working years, you see...

Most people are immerse in a large or small family, so the family provides all of that. There might be another social environment or community where you are well integrated.
If you are alone, you must find a way to stay engaged, with people, stimulated. Otherwise, you risk becoming isolated and empty, or confused because of to much freedom. Mostly you need somebody to retire to. That is what "something to retire to" means to me. If you retire to isolation and boredom, you can end up missing your working days. Plus, financial uncertainty can be very stressful too.

So, you need somebody to retire to, and financial peace of mind.

I would argue that the qualities you describe may not appeal to all kinds. That is what happened to me. I am reclusive by nature since I was a child. I’m in my 50s now and still reclusive and well, I quite like it that way. I put on my “game face” for years in the workplace despite that being completely contrary to my core self. It was nerve racking and at times quite uncomfortable. Now, one could argue that I should push through and find self discovery. Been there for 35 years, done that. Dont like it.

Enjoying my reclusive wife’s company. Literature, music, being out walking in the woods on a quiet sunny morning.

Last edited by Sasquatch on Thu Sep 20, 2018 4:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I originally planned to retire to reading all the books and music CDs accumulated over the years, getting reacquainted with model railroading hobby that my father and I enjoyed when I was a young boy, and doing some travelling to state fairs and air shows around the country.

All that changed two years ago was laid off at 57 and noticed my 90 year old mother's dementia getting worse.
I decided to "retire" to take care of her. Not the kind of retirement I was looking forward to as it is proving to be harder work than the work I "retired" from. Read an online article that long term caregiving can shorten caregiver's life expectancy by as much as eight years.
Am now rethinking taking SS at 62 instead of waiting until 67.

Anybody else retired from caregiving and have something to look forward to, other than to a rest home?

That’s tough; you have my sympathy.

I spent a lot of time in my first year of retirement dealing with the consequences of my mother’s dementia and, ultimately, her death. But while I had a lot of decision-making responsibility, I was fortunate that most of the actual day-to-day work was done by the health care professionals at her nursing home and the trust department personnel at her bank.

Dealing with the decline and death of a parent is certainly not the way anyone wants to start their retirement. But there are lots of retirees in that position.

I originally planned to retire to reading all the books and music CDs accumulated over the years, getting reacquainted with model railroading hobby that my father and I enjoyed when I was a young boy, and doing some travelling to state fairs and air shows around the country.

All that changed two years ago was laid off at 57 and noticed my 90 year old mother's dementia getting worse.
I decided to "retire" to take care of her. Not the kind of retirement I was looking forward to as it is proving to be harder work than the work I "retired" from. Read an online article that long term caregiving can shorten caregiver's life expectancy by as much as eight years.
Am now rethinking taking SS at 62 instead of waiting until 67.

Anybody else retired from caregiving and have something to look forward to, other than to a rest home?

I have extremely light duties with my mom who is almost 87.

I take her to all Dr appointments, dental apptments. Pick up prescriptions. Weekly hair appointment. I live close to her, so stop by a couple times a week for a short visit and to feed the birds. Grocery shop with her every two weeks during golf season. Bring in dinner or help cook dinner 2 times a week. We talk by phone each night to make sure she is all right.

My dad had dementia. He became very passive. As dementia progressed, he could not even make a sandwich for lunch. Mom was his caregiver and my brother and I will alwats be grateful for the care she gave him.

I so sorry for you situation. Wishing you well along the difficult Journey.

P.S. make sure you keep track of hours you spend so you can be paid by the estate, if she needs to go to memory care.
Maybe keep track of what you do. Have documentation notarized every month - your brick and mortar bank maydo it for free.

And though I don't recall planning for it ahead of time, I've been spending more time getting better at cooking, specifically with Chinese recipes. I miss the Chinese lunch truck from my working years, you see...

For me, Thursday was the day to go get Chinese takeout. When I retired, I thought about making it that day (I already do stir-fry on most Sunday nights) or going to a place close to workHOME. So far I haven't.

Edit: Still getting used to things. I meant near home of course. I don't care what's close to work anymore.

In my view, ideally you enjoy what you do for a living enough not to want to retire... If that doesn't work out then, yes, finding occupation is important and a challenge.

Having not much to do is a huge problem on many fronts in my experience... I tried to retire early in the past and went back to work eventually. I found that time was just being wasted, and I was losing track of it. Getting up late, spending way too much time and attention on chores and other trivial things, browsing the web and reading the news way too much. Time was going into a black hole and I couldn't account for it. Also, spending too much money on various things that I never had the time to bother with before. Fights with my wife on trivial things. Too much focus on health issues and aging - it's good to have something to distract you from that and prove to you that you're still reasonably ok. Less social contact, feeling of isolation, and lack of purpose. Feelings of wasted potential. Too much analysis of the life so far and paths taken and not taken.

The list goes on and on... I would say that there was a lot more negative than positive about it other than that I learned my lesson which is that, at least for me, continuing my career as long as possible is pretty criticial... This could be in different or creative ways, but I can't just retire, and won't do that unless there is no alternative.

Jose had a great commentary on work for some people (including me). It is an important part of my life. DW (retired a year ago) is concerned about my social life once I retire. She is probably concerned about having to spend more time with me!

My guess is that I will ease into retirement, having the ability to retain a certain number of my accounts and service them. I work out of my home now and while that is much more efficient than working in the office, there are "gaps" in the day. I fill these with interests and hobbies, perhaps only for a few minutes until the next email or phone call, but these interests have allowed me to "fill the gaps".

We have several hobbies that take up a lot of our "non-work" time now, and expect to be able to do more of them when we retire. We also both volunteer, and I'd like to do more of that. We also love to travel, and want to spend more time doing slow travel - going places for a month or longer at a time. So, yes.

My parents retired 23 years ago, and for years my dad said he was busier than when he was working.

I started planning 3 years before I intended to retire (although I took a package to retire a year earlier), so yes, I was retiring to something. That doesn’t mean I had highly defined plans, just that I was ready for the next stage.
I’m doing less volunteering than I thought I would but more traveling. In fact, I’m writing this from France, where I celebrated my 70th birthday last week. I’m currently staying in the home of a family in Lyon while I take language classes. I’m clearly the oldest student currently enrolled. The other day in a conversation class the teacher asked, “What job would you do if you could have any job?” I just laughed and said “I don’t have to take any job.”

I retired specifically to complete a singlehanded sailboat race from San Francisco to Hawaii. That was my entire plan for things to do. Money is not a big issue for us. I spent the last two years after that race getting ready for the next race which I just completed. This kept me busier than a one handed paperhanger.

Now the really difficult retirement is upon me. I have to retire from ocean racing primarily because my Wife won't have it. Period. She thinks I'll get killed and ruin our grand kids lives. So I am in a pickle. I definitely don't want to go back to work and I can't realistically continue my current diet of Netflix and beer, but motivation is a problem. The days just seem to float by. I was thinking a through hike of the Pacific Crest Trail might be interesting.

I retired specifically to complete a singlehanded sailboat race from San Francisco to Hawaii. That was my entire plan for things to do. Money is not a big issue for us. I spent the last two years after that race getting ready for the next race which I just completed. This kept me busier than a one handed paperhanger.

Now the really difficult retirement is upon me. I have to retire from ocean racing primarily because my Wife won't have it. Period. She thinks I'll get killed and ruin our grand kids lives. So I am in a pickle. I definitely don't want to go back to work and I can't realistically continue my current diet of Netflix and beer, but motivation is a problem. The days just seem to float by. I was thinking a through hike of the Pacific Crest Trail might be interesting.

Most people are immerse in a large or small family, so the family provides all of that. There might be another social environment or community where you are well integrated.
If you are alone, you must find a way to stay engaged, with people, stimulated. Otherwise, you risk becoming isolated and empty, or confused because of to much freedom. Mostly you need somebody to retire to. That is what "something to retire to" means to me. If you retire to isolation and boredom, you can end up missing your working days. Plus, financial uncertainty can be very stressful too.

So, you need somebody to retire to, and financial peace of mind.

I would argue that the qualities you describe may not appeal to all kinds. That is what happened to me. I am reclusive by nature since I was a child. I’m in my 50s now and still reclusive and well, I quite like it that way. I put on my “game face” for years in the workplace despite that being completely contrary to my core self. It was nerve racking and at times quite uncomfortable. Now, one could argue that I should push through and find self discovery. Been there for 35 years, done that. Dont like it.

Enjoying my reclusive wife’s company. Literature, music, being out walking in the woods on a quiet sunny morning.

Isn't this what Jose was saying - someone to retire to? What if there weren't a "reclusive wife" at home whose company you enjoy?

Last edited by marcwd on Thu Sep 20, 2018 4:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The main thing I retired to was freedom to do what my wife and I want, when my wife and I want, where my wife and I want. It is indescribable to not have to wake up to an alarm clock.

When I hear things like this I wonder if people really considered shaping/molding their career to give them the things they truly want. There are location independent jobs (just interviewed someone working in Vietnam) and certainly plenty of jobs that would allow one to awake every morning without an alarm clock. Emergency physician, for instance. Just do evenings and nights and you'll never have to wake up with an alarm to go to work.

I guess it seems silly to me to leave the paid work world for reasons like that. That seems like a reason to get a different job/career/ business etc.

It's like the person above who mentioned they retired so they wouldn't be on call all the time. There are usually ways to reduce/eliminate call (in exchange for lower pay).

An exercise that I think is helpful is to draw a Venn Diagram with your ideal life on one side and your current life on the other. Then spend 1-5 years gradually trying to completely overlap those two circles. My wife and I have been actively trying to do this the last few years and have gotten pretty darn close.

I retired specifically to complete a singlehanded sailboat race from San Francisco to Hawaii. That was my entire plan for things to do. Money is not a big issue for us. I spent the last two years after that race getting ready for the next race which I just completed. This kept me busier than a one handed paperhanger.

Now the really difficult retirement is upon me. I have to retire from ocean racing primarily because my Wife won't have it. Period. She thinks I'll get killed and ruin our grand kids lives. So I am in a pickle. I definitely don't want to go back to work and I can't realistically continue my current diet of Netflix and beer, but motivation is a problem. The days just seem to float by. I was thinking a through hike of the Pacific Crest Trail might be interesting.

I am thinking to retire to travel around the world. I am worried about a situation like yours. What to do after a few years of travel? I cannot return to work with a similar job and similar compensations.

I retired specifically to complete a singlehanded sailboat race from San Francisco to Hawaii. That was my entire plan for things to do. Money is not a big issue for us. I spent the last two years after that race getting ready for the next race which I just completed. This kept me busier than a one handed paperhanger.

Now the really difficult retirement is upon me. I have to retire from ocean racing primarily because my Wife won't have it. Period. She thinks I'll get killed and ruin our grand kids lives. So I am in a pickle. I definitely don't want to go back to work and I can't realistically continue my current diet of Netflix and beer, but motivation is a problem. The days just seem to float by. I was thinking a through hike of the Pacific Crest Trail might be interesting.

My plan was to not have a plan i.e. no commitments short of vacation plans (three domestic and one overseas this year, last year two domestic and two overseas). For the most part each day I do what I feel like doing. Sometimes it's helping my kids with house projects, sometimes it's helping my in-laws or mother, sometimes it's doing projects around our own house, sometimes it's just F'ing off and doing fun stuff. Today we went on a long bike ride and later I did a carpentry project. I very much enjoy the flexibility retirement affords me, having a plan sounds just to restrictive to me.

Interesting to read about folks being worried about wasting too much time on trivial things in retirement.

I can think of very little about the typical working career (especially megacorp and the like jobs) that entails anything but a huge amount of time (literally years) wasted on extremely trivial matters that in the end don't amount to a hill of beans. Mindfully spending an extra 15 minutes at Costco this morning with my wife checking out all the bread selections is infinitely more vital, satisfying, and important than anything I did in my corporate career.

Our retirement life started with downsizing and moving to a area with a climate we enjoyed and a relatively LCOL, and is now focused on exercise staying fit, socializing with new friends, eating healthy, lots of play activities, and a healthy amount of volunteer work. Life is very good. Just hoping we stay healthy and mentally fit at this point because that is the true wealth in life that no amount of money can buy.

Wife still works (7 working days to go). I happily spend the days alone. Before married.....Alone. Childhood, Schooling, college, alone. Totally cool with that..

I get Jose's post. Has merit for sure. Likely engages most people people. It's by and large never worked for me. It's also likely others dont't subscribe to this social paradigm.

If misconstrued as a slam. Humble apologies for sure. Mearly a counterpoint.

My point is based on my personal situation or experience. I am single living alone, so I go to work for mostly social reasons. When I don't work, I never get bored, but eventually I get lonely. I have so much freedom that I don't know what to do. I am reclusive too and have enjoyed my own company most of my life, but still.
So I think more important than having something to do, is having someone to share retirement with. They will give you something to do! So, to the OP and most others with good company, I think you have somebody to retire to, and you should be OK.

When I retired 10 years ago at age 45, I can't say I retired to anything. But when I semi-retired 7 years before that (i.e. switched from working FT t PT), I knew at the time I would do 2 things I had not been able to do before. One was some volunteer work and the other was resurrecting a hobby I hadn't done for 13 years. Neither took up a lot of my newly found time, they were simply things I wanted to do. Two years later, I took up some more volunteer work in another activity.

When I actually fully retired 10 years ago, I was able to expand on the resurrected hobby and one of the two volunteer activities and was able to more easily plan the other volunteer activity without having the work-work interfering often.

My point is based on my personal situation or experience. I am single living alone, so I go to work for mostly social reasons. When I don't work, I never get bored, but eventually I get lonely. I have so much freedom that I don't know what to do. I am reclusive too and have enjoyed my own company most of my life, but still.
So I think more important than having something to do, is having someone to share retirement with. They will give you something to do! So, to the OP and most others with good company, I think you have somebody to retire to, and you should be OK.

jose

Not being single definitely helps with reducing the increased loneliness that often comes with retirement.

One comment I have, however, is that spending too much time with the same person can become a problem, even if they are the love of your life. You just start getting on each other's nerves with the much increased time together that happens with retirement. In other words, retirement can hurt you both when single, and when together with someone, although the problems with the latter are typically much more easily mitigated than the problems with the former.

I loved my job until the last year and then decided to bow out “young” and still happy rather than old and bitter. My job could get intense at times and required full attention and a high degree of creativity and invention. As I aged, I began to wonder if I had the drive or even the ability to keep going at the level we had been going at. I didn’t want to be the .300+ hitter, batting .200 and being booed in his last year of baseball.
There was no plan but there has been no boredom so far either. I have loved reconnecting with old friends and extended family, having longer times available for travel, more time to garden and maintain the house, more time to take care of my body, and also taking the time to become an advocate for the causes I believe in. It’s funny, but I find my current self likes doing the same things I used to do before full time work got in the way.

I retired specifically to complete a singlehanded sailboat race from San Francisco to Hawaii. That was my entire plan for things to do. Money is not a big issue for us. I spent the last two years after that race getting ready for the next race which I just completed. This kept me busier than a one handed paperhanger.

Now the really difficult retirement is upon me. I have to retire from ocean racing primarily because my Wife won't have it. Period. She thinks I'll get killed and ruin our grand kids lives. So I am in a pickle. I definitely don't want to go back to work and I can't realistically continue my current diet of Netflix and beer, but motivation is a problem. The days just seem to float by. I was thinking a through hike of the Pacific Crest Trail might be interesting.

Do it! You sound like you like both the intellectual planning part of the trip as well as the physical nature.

I've gotten into backpacking myself. For my 55th I solo hiked the John Muir Trail which mostly follows the PCT from Yosemite to Mt. Whitney. Two weeks ago I just finished up the second half of the Tahoe Rim Trail. Next year I'm thinking about either the first section of the PCT (Campo to Idyllwild) or the Tahoe to Yosemite Trail which is another section of the PCT. I would like to do the PCT but six months on the trail would probably be the end of my marriage! DH doesn't backpack. He doesn't get why you CHOOSE to sleep on the ground when you have the money to pay for a bed.

My plan was to not have a plan i.e. no commitments short of vacation plans (three domestic and one overseas this year, last year two domestic and two overseas). For the most part each day I do what I feel like doing. Sometimes it's helping my kids with house projects, sometimes it's helping my in-laws or mother, sometimes it's doing projects around our own house, sometimes it's just F'ing off and doing fun stuff. Today we went on a long bike ride and later I did a carpentry project. I very much enjoy the flexibility retirement affords me, having a plan sounds just to restrictive to me.

I was clearly running AWAY from (burning out at) work, I didn't have much of a plan. My old hobbies (fishing) and new hobbies (financial research and related volunteering) kept me busy enough, combined with a good dose of traveling and exercising. Time passed quickly for a few years, but nowadays, I do have some time to fill, and I'll need to sort it out this winter and find some other project. Can't say I was terribly inspired by the various volunteering opportunities available on the usual Web sites (volunteermatch.org and similar). Ideas welcome!

When I was young, work did provide some social interaction. But that wasn't true for the last several years. I was friendly with people at work, but I didn't socialize outside with anyone new. I have family in the area as well as old friends. I'm not one that gets lonely when alone.

This week's fortune cookie: "Your financial life will be secure and beneficial." So I got that going for me, which is nice.

I'm not sure I exactly understand the question. What does "something solid" mean? I do the things that I enjoy except that I have more time for them than when I was working. Is anything more needed?

I meant some concrete plans, not just some vague words.

In the beginning, every day is Saturday. Only without the pressure to get chores done. Right now, that means a lot more reading for starters. If I want to spend a day researching something, then it's no longer a wasted day.

I have a few software projects in mind, but so far haven't been motivated to start them. We'll see.

I certainly didn't see any reason to have some five-year plan of accomplishments to implement.

This week's fortune cookie: "Your financial life will be secure and beneficial." So I got that going for me, which is nice.

I unequivocally retired "to" solid plans. And I would not have it any other way.

1. I had numerous interests that I could not attend to while I was working.
2. My guiding principle was Benjamin Franklin's maxim that "failing to plan is planning to fail."
3. I followed Stephen Covey's "big rocks" model.
4. I was prepared to change my course following Dwight Eisenhower's insight that "plans are worthless, but planning is everything."

When I retired 4 years ago, I had three grand plans. I have accomplished one of them within 8 months from retiring: I walked el Camino de Santiago: 500 miles, 6 weeks, with a backpack. The other two goals have merged into a new grand goal. That goal has later evolved into an even grander one which I am pursuing now. These are the "big rocks."

With the big rocks in place, I do many "medium rocks" including travel, improv and standup comedy, courses and seminars, cybersecurity, reading, and management of my finances and health.

I have very little time left for the "little pebbles" and that's a good thing.

Victoria

WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. |
Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

I unequivocally retired "to" solid plans. And I would not have it any other way.

1. I had numerous interests that I could not attend to while I was working.
2. My guiding principle was Benjamin Franklin's maxim that "failing to plan is planning to fail."
3. I followed Stephen Covey's "big rocks" model.
4. I was prepared to change my course following Dwight Eisenhower's insight that "plans are worthless, but planning is everything."
Victoria

Now I know why Victoria is one of my heroes. She clarifies everything so well!

I retired almost 6 years ago, but I've been planning for retirement for 30 years. There was no way I could retire without some kind of plan. I have good friends, many of them professionals, who retire and go into a state of boredom and shock that takes much effort to escape from.

Since "good health" is such an important part of healthy living, that should be number one on anyone's retirement to-do list.

I found as an adult that I work well when I have projects, and I've designed and implemented some that took incredible planning and effort. This style works for me.

But reading through the posts, I can see that it's different strokes for different folks.

I didn’t have anything specific in mind, but I knew that I was too busy working to know what that could possibly be. I was also highly confident that everything would fall into place, and it has. I would say of the top 10 meaningful things I’ve done in retirement so far, none of them would’ve been on my list of the top 50 things that I might have imagined as possibilities. It’s a wide open adventure for us.

After reading the responses, I feel that, maybe, a concrete plan of retirement plan is more important for early retirees. For some people who have to retire because of ages, too much money, other obligations, not so much.

We usually see comments here that "you need to have something to retire to"?
For those who are retired, did you really have something solid to retire to?
For those who plan to retire soon, do you have something in your mind that you will be retired to?
Or let's retire first, and find that something later?

The main thing I retired to was freedom to do what my wife and I want, when my wife and I want, where my wife and I want. It is indescribable to not have to wake up to an alarm clock. I think a major key to a successful retirement for me and my wife is we are the type of persons who trusts our ability to always have something to occupy our time, in a generally productive (and hopefully contributing to others much of the time) way. The freedom to plan months or weeks or days or just minutes in advance of doing something is awesome. For example, I prefer a balance of a very few scheduled routine things (e.g. yard work, church activities, vacations) and a whole lot of spur of the moment things (reading, restaurants, day trips, house chores and vehicle preventative maintenance, etc.). Having said that, the main thing in my opinion, is to retire to something, not escape from something if at all possible. I have (almost) never been bored since I retired a number of years ago.

After reading the responses, I feel that, maybe, a concrete plan of retirement plan is more important for early retirees. For some people who have to retire because of ages, too much money, other obligations, not so much.

Not really. I think it depends on each person's comfort level. Do you feel that you need a plan?

I will be an early retiree soon. At one point I thought I needed a "concrete plan" to retire to, as you put it. But that didn't sit well with me, I've had enough of 5-year plans & corporate goals in my career. After some introspection, I've come to a happy conclusion that just knowing what my non-negotiable priorities are in retirement and going with the flow on everything else, is what I wanted. My priorities are simple, eg. spend more time with loved ones, health. No need to prescribe actionables, timelines, etc. I'll decide on those later, after I finish my coffee, if I feel like it.

In my first year, starting March 2013, I managed to be away 13 weeks, compared to maybe five while I was working.

I would think that 5 weeks of traveling during your working years would eventually add up to seeing just about the whole world by the time you retire. That's certainly my goal at least.
Otherwise, pretty fascinating to see what retired people get up to.

After reading the responses, I feel that, maybe, a concrete plan of retirement plan is more important for early retirees. For some people who have to retire because of ages, too much money, other obligations, not so much.

Not really. I think it depends on each person's comfort level. Do you feel that you need a plan?

I will be an early retiree soon. At one point I thought I needed a "concrete plan" to retire to, as you put it. But that didn't sit well with me, I've had enough of 5-year plans & corporate goals in my career. After some introspection, I've come to a happy conclusion that just knowing what my non-negotiable priorities are in retirement and going with the flow on everything else, is what I wanted. My priorities are simple, eg. spend more time with loved ones, health. No need to prescribe actionables, timelines, etc. I'll decide on those later, after I finish my coffee, if I feel like it.

I don't know about having something very concrete to "retire to" but I sure have a long list of possible activities -- pure leisure, learning, volunteering etc. And the usual culprits, like getting in better shape.

One related point I saw in a "get ready for retirement book" is to ensure you have *some* structure in your days. The way I view this suggestion is you maybe plan on getting together with friends for lunch one day in a week, go to the gym two mornings, maybe play golf or tennis on Thursday afternoon, etc. And get up at a regular time, have coffee and read the newspaper, or whatever. This can still leave you with quite a bit of unstructured time.

I think the idea of getting up every day with nothing planned is daunting. Sure some days that IS a good, even great plan. But not every day. I do believe most of us do better with a certain amount of structure.