Have you noticed lately that some of the most non-spiritual people in your life – or on your “friends list” – are suddenly posting esoteric memes or using phrases like, “soul mate” or “twin-flame soul mate,” even? I mean, I’m talking about people who don’t even believe in reincarnation. When I started to witness this, I thought, “Oh, boy, here we go. #Twin-flame will soon be trending on Twitter. Time to consult with my Akashic Records and create a list of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ).”

Because, let’s face it, we THINK we know what twin flames are and all that. But, when it’s all said and done, we really don’t. Some are still stuck spinning their wheels thinking their twin-flame soul mate is the ONLY one for them and that, even though they are estranged now, that is the person they will be with one day. And, until that day, they will drown in a sea of sorrow. This is the kind of mentality we need to nip in the bud, for it serves NO ONE. Trust me. I waited five years for my twin-flame to come back around, and even though we did reunite “one more time,” it did not last and was nothing but a huge disappointment. What I learned from it: I deserve MUCH better. And so do you. And this is why I challenged my Akashic team to set the record straight and get the truth about all these human-ego ideas we read about twin-flame soul mates when everything comes crashing down – even after we loved without conditions and took every exhausting “test” and “challenge” our twin flames threw at us, accepted every “mirrored reflection” they showed us and integrated it into our own unconditional self love and it still wasn’t good enough.

Most twin-flame gurus will tell you that you’re estranged from your twin flame because you “still have work to do,” or that you “need to work on yourself more; love yourself more.” Even after you’ve done all the therapy and loved yourself raw and you’re still finding yourself alone, you’re still thinking, because THE GURUS said so, that you can’t make it to 5D without a harmonious reunion with your twin-flame soul mate. You believe without this unconditional love for yourself and each other, you simply cannot ascend. Some may even try to tell you that the one you believe to be your twin-flame was actually a “false twin” or a “catalyst,” leaving you even more confused than ever before. That’s the last thing you need when you feel like you can’t breathe… can’t function… can’t even LIVE anymore.

So I decided it’s time for us to really dig for the truth about this twin-flame business. (See what I did there?) Using some of the “information” found around the internet that never resonated with me about twin-flame soul mates as well as some questions from my clients, I created the following list and asked for my Akashic team to please reveal the truth for all of us.

I asked my Akashic Records:

What are twin-flame soul mates?

Twin-flame soul mates are two souls that have split from one light being, much like identical twin humans have split into two beings from one egg.

Does every light being split into twin-flame soul mates?

No, not every light being does this.

Why do some beings split into twin-flame soul mates?

This is often done by beings who incarnate into a physical embodiment on a physical planet, such as Earth. The main reason is to have two aspects of the one soul – either both incarnated or only one incarnated while the other stays in spirit – to assist in the evolution of the soul.

Let’s focus on those who incarnate together for a moment. What is their purpose together? Why do they incarnate together?

Ultimately, twin-flame soul mates incarnate together to push each other onto the path of unconditional self love and to harmoniously reunite in unconditional love for each other. As far as mission or purpose to serve together once harmoniously reunited, it all depends on the contracts they make together before incarnation. They may also be in contract with other soul mates to help teach lessons to them. For example: the twin-flame soul mates incarnate on Earth as an interracial couple to help teach their respective families tolerance and love for other races. It can be as simple and complicated as that. At the same time, they may be in contract with one another to teach each other the same lesson and so many more that come along with cultural differences and learned prejudices. In short, the missions are usually to help teach unconditional love and bring peace to Earth.

Do twin-flame soul mates always incarnate with the intention of being romantic partners or sexual partners, and if so, why?

Mostly, yes. But some may choose to change it up and create some very challenging situations by being born to the same bloodline. Twin-flame soul mates mostly incarnate with the intention of being romantic sexual partners because there is a bond and a trust there like no other. The sharing of Kundalini energy is also very powerful, especially between twin-flame soul mates because of the sacred, spiritual bond that exists between them.

But wouldn’t this be much like having sex with yourself, in a way? Or your twin sibling?

With yourself, yes. Twin sibling, no.

Why would we want to have sex with ourselves, though? That seems a bit narcissistic.

Who do you trust most when it comes to such intimacy?

Why, then, if there is this sacred trust, is it so hard for twin-flame soul mates to stay together? Why is there always a runner and a chaser?

There’s not always a runner and a chaser. It seems that way, but that is not always the case. What creates the difficulty is the human ego entertaining the lower, fear-based energies. Each life experience is different. The difficulties and hardships faced in every life are what form and shape the ego-learned fears. It is possible to have two runners, just as it is possible to have two highly spiritual beings who are committed and willing to stay together through thick and thin. To have a constant game of chase in every life would be madness, and that is not every twin-flame story. We know that this is a common philosophy regarding twin-flame soul mates, and we would like to state that this is not the absolute truth; this is an ego-based philosophy based on a sampling or case-study of human experiences in your current now. It is not completely accurate.

Since we are on the subject of twin-flame myths, there is one floating out there that twin flames always incarnate as the same gender. What is the truth regarding this belief?

Not true. Although a specific gender may be preferred, all souls have incarnated as both genders numerous times.

So that brings us to a few more twin-flame myths. Some believe that the one soul splits into a masculine energy and a feminine energy. What is the truth regarding this belief, and, do the twin souls share one higher self, or do they each have their own?

When we talk of souls, what we are talking about is conscious energy known as light beings. They are genderless when not incarnated in physical bodies, and they have an equal balance of masculine and feminine energy. That is not to say that they don’t favor or project more of one energy than the other, however, which is the same for human beings. Each twin soul has its own higher self identity.

What about twin-flame soul mates who incarnate as the same gender together? Is their intention also to be romantic or sexual partners?

Yes, most of the time. These are usually more experienced and evolved souls who have learned that love transcends gender, and it is their mission to teach the younger souls incarnated on Earth this lesson – that love is love – regardless of gender, race, religion or culture. These souls are the strongest and bravest, and they usually incarnate with their twin-flame soul mate knowing they will need to rely on each other in such courageous efforts.

What about those twin-flame soul mates who cannot succeed in their union with each other? What happens to their “mission” they agreed to serve together?

They cannot complete their mission if they cannot overcome their issues to unite and serve together. Contracts can be rewritten, however, by the higher selves.

There is another myth out there that twin-flame soul mates must reunite in order for the souls to ascend into the 5D vibration. What is the truth regarding this belief?

It is not true. First of all, most souls are already of 5D vibration. Twin-flame soul mates incarnate together to assist one another in their individual soul evolution as human beings. The secret to achieving the 5D Christ Consciousness vibration while incarnated as a human being is self mastery and self love. Once the ego is tamed and the need to compare, judge and criticize (self or others) no longer exists, then it is time to move into unconditional love and complete and total acceptance of the self. Self love must be achieved by both individuals before unconditional love for each other can thrive. Unconditional love does not necessarily mean that the two marry or live together or even remain a couple; it means that they are able to love and accept one another as they are, and they are able to let go of old ego attachments to allow one another to be free and happy. For most twins, this does mean that they stay together as a couple. For others, it means that they lovingly let each other go and truly wish them well for the remainder of their journey without feeling longing or need for one another.

In the Twin Flame “guru” world here on Earth, some terms are being thrown around that only add confusion. The first is: catalyst. The second is: false twin flame. Sometimes the terms are being presented as interchangeable; other times they are presented as two different things. What can you tell us about catalysts and false twin flames?

There is no such thing as a “false” twin flame. There are some soul mates who will serve as “near” twin flames, to prepare individuals for their real twin-flame. The near twin will challenge those hang ups that may arise with your twin flame and help you hurdle some of the smaller issues to clear the way. The difference here is that you will feel this near twin is your soul mate until you discover your twin-flame soul mate and discover how much deeper you can go into love. A catalyst could be anyone, really, but usually is a member of your soul group who comes along to shake up your soul mate relationship so that you can move onto your twin-flame, but this really only occurs in extreme cases. Catalysts are not always necessary. Most go directly from the near-twin soul mate experience to the twin-flame soul mate. Some may confuse the actual twin-flame as a catalyst if the first reunion attempt is fast and furious and a failure (which is common if the near twin did not fully accomplish its mission). Catalysts are a one-time thing. There is always a sense of rockiness with a catalyst, so when the relationship is over, it’s over. There’s no going back, and both parties strongly feel this way. With a twin-flame separation, a constant longing is always felt by both parties and it cannot be shaken, despite the hurt they may have caused one another in their first reunion attempt.

There is still another myth out there that we have more than one twin-flame soul mate. What can you tell us about this belief?

It is true that higher selves create many aspects of themselves in physical bodies, so, in theory, there are individuals walking Earth (and other planets) who share the same higher self. Although it is rare, there are special cases in which an incarnate being wishes to discontinue its life, but the higher self wants to continue, so contracts are rearranged and that individual encounters another aspect of its twin-flame counterpart in the same life. We want to reiterate that this is extremely rare, but it is possible. For the most part, higher selves have already decided in advance which aspects will be paired together.

Why do so many people have problems with their twin-flame soul mates hurting them?

Sometimes it is contracted; most of the time, however, it is not intentional, but, rather a result of a lack of self love which can be manifested in many different ways, including addictions, (substance or alcohol, prescription drugs, tobacco, sex, pornography, pedophilia, food… the list goes on and on) low self-esteem, self-mutilation, self-deprecation/sabotage, mental illness, physical dis-ease and illness, anxiety, depression and more.

Some suggest that there are negative beings on Earth who want to prevent twin-flame soul mates from reuniting. What is the truth in this regard?

It is true. They are the ones who create obstacles we just mentioned to keep the human ego in lower vibration.

What happens when a twin-flame couple fails and separates and one is able to raise vibration into self love while the other is unable to rise and stays in lower vibration? Does this mean that the one who achieves unconditional self-love never gets the opportunity to reunite with his/her twin-flame for that incarnation?

In this case it is possible for those other aspects of the higher selves of the twin-flames to reshuffle and begin attracting to those who are of similar vibration. So those aspects who achieve unconditional self love begin pairing up, while those who choose to stay in lower vibration either find another aspect who matches their vibration, or they remain alone or settle for someone else who is not a twin-flame who is of equal vibration.

What if there is no match for the higher vibrating aspect to reunite with? What happens to that aspect?

This is where walk-in situations will occur. These contracts are usually in place before incarnation with soul group mates who are willing to “trade higher selves” if their own twin-flame union fails or if they have incarnated without their twin-flame (which is usually the case). The other option is for a twin-soul attract once unconditional self-love is achieved because this 5D vibration is the same as harmoniously reuniting with a twin-flame soul mate. Or the higher vibrating aspect will most likely be perfectly happy flying solo since there is really no need for a partner once unconditional self love is achieved.

What is a twin soul? How is a twin-soul different than a twin-flame?

This is the whole-soul twin of your higher self. One who is of higher vibration who has also achieved unconditional self love. You will find you have more in common with your twin soul than you do with your twin-flame and that your differences don’t matter at all; unconditional love is free-flowing and drama is at an all-time low.

So what is better, a harmoniously reunited pair of twin-flame souls or a reunited pair of twin souls?

If the twin-flame souls have each achieved unconditional self-love (which is the only way for them to be harmoniously reunited) then there really is no difference. It is about vibration. Soul mates will only attract to one another when they share a similar vibration; they repel when they are discordant in vibration. If one half of a twin-flame pair achieves the 5D vibration alone, that half automatically becomes a whole – with or without a partner who is an aspect of the other half. All are one, you see. So whether the 5D vibration is achieved with or without the other half, it is still a successful union into a whole for the half who achieved unconditional self love. It’s the vibration that counts. Not the union.

What happens to the lower vibrating twin, then, if the higher vibrating twin moves into union with a higher vibrating aspect or twin-soul?

The lower vibrating twin may move into union with another aspect who is a match in vibration or the higher-self may opt out and a walk-in situation may occur for that individual.

So what the heck is the twin-flame union even FOR then?

Twin flames serve as mirrors to one another, to show where there is an imbalance (between masculine and feminine energy) or to reflect those issues of self-esteem that need work for unconditional self-love to be achieved. The union is also usually a lesson in what unconditional love really is – as opposed to conditional or emotional attachments. Twin flame unions – whether successful or not – help awaken and guide each half toward the path to unconditional self love. Unconditional self love is what is necessary in order for the collective to rise and ultimately bring and maintain peace on Earth. When humans achieve unconditional self love, they no longer feel a need to judge, criticize, compare or compete. Instead they prefer to express compassion and compliment and help one another. And this is what Earth needs in order to heal and thrive.

So there you have it, friends. Straight from the Akashic Records. For those of you ambitious enough to change your ways and raise your vibration, there’s not “just one” possibility in the twin-flame arena. There are higher vibrating options if you feel you need a partner to help “get you there.” For those of you flying solo, isn’t it nice to know that you can achieve the 5D vibration on your own by mastering human ego and achieving unconditional self love? And isn’t it nice to know there are those accomplished whole-soul, twin-soul counterparts awaiting you when you reach the summit if you go it alone? So why waste another day pining for someone stuck in low gear? Start loving yourself and raise your vibration so you can attract a healthier, happier life partner (who just happens to have the same higher self as that original twin-flame). Or why not just fly solo? You already have everything you need inside you, and once you achieve unconditional self love, you complete yourself and the 5D vibration. Who better to love you without conditions than YOU? Trust. Fly!

Valentine’s Day is approaching. If you’re single and feeling alone, here’s an opportunity for you to really embrace yourself and celebrate your unconditional love for YOU!

Yes, with all this romance in the air and our loving sun dropping M-Class solar flare love bombs on us pretty regularly these days, NOW is the time absorb all this loving energy and aim it directly at yourself! As many of you know, you cannot truly love another until you truly love yourself. So how will you treat yourself this Valentine’s Day?

Now when I say “treat yourself,” I don’t necessarily mean go and spend a ton of money, but, if you have it, what a great time to schedule that massage or trip to the day spa! Maybe the ladies would like a manicure or pedicure, or, hey, why not both? Guys, why not get that full-service shave and haircut? Or how about a Reiki Chakra attunement?

Send yourself flowers with a card that reads: To Me! I love you!

Low in the cash department? Here are some simpler ideas to help you raise your vibration:

Prepare a candle-light dinner for yourself.

Watch your favorite uplifting romantic films.

Listen to happy, upbeat love songs that celebrate the happiness and magnificence of love.

Spend quality time with your pets (or children); they are a prime source of unconditional love!

Engage in your favorite activity; following your passion is a great way to promote self love.

Make yourself a Valentine card telling yourself what you love about YOU!

If you have children, teach them about unconditional self love, and have them make Valentines cards for themselves as well! (And each other!)

Go for a nice long walk and fully focus on positive thoughts about you and others; exude gratitude for all that makes you happy. Make it brisk! Getting the heart pumping clears the chakras and raises you endorphins. YAY!

Take a relaxing bath surrounded by healing crystals and candlelight. (Or you could always reenact the scene from What the Bleep do we Know? You know, the one where Marlee Matlin draws hearts and loving messages all over herself in the bathtub?)

Remember to fully focus on the present moment; forget the past (it’s over) and don’t worry about the future (it’s not here yet!) Pay attention to your breathing. Indulge in slow, long rhythmic breaths and be sure to hold in the pure source energy (oxygen) before slowly releasing it.

Focus on the positive, here, friends! Stay away from the depressants – chemical, mental and emotional. Remember… YOU control your vibration, and it is your choice whether you allow it to dip or rise. You can only attract true love by BEING true love. Rise!

Now tell us… how will YOU treat yourself and love yourself this Valentine’s Day?

Because so many of us are used to self criticism and judgment as the route to self improvement, we find ourselves bamboozled when we are encouraged to LOVE ourselves. We are left scratching our heads as we face ourselves in the mirror.

Love myself, we wonder with a grimace. How do I begin to go about doing that?

Me being human, I find myself stumped in this department on occasion as well. So I called on my higher self and Pleiadian family for guidance. Together we came up with this rather long list of steps to self love. Many of these can be practiced side by side as you work your way through them. Some are tough and some are not so tough. Some may require professional assistance by that of a counselor, life coach, spiritualist or energetic healer, while others you can do on your own or with a trusted friend or the help of your higher self and spirit guides. Some may not apply to you at all.

These are very direct. No beating around the bush. If you feel angered or irritated by any of these steps, then you know you have issues you need to address, release and heal in these areas. Remember that your ego/mind is NOT you, but if it throws a fit on any of these, simply observe and take note of the issues that arise. Become and remain heart-centered as much as possible and remember who you TRULY are. Know that you are a wise, intelligent soul who has lived many lives. Allow your cellular memory to awaken as you read these steps. Pause to take notes on how each one makes you FEEL, and then note thoughts and judgments. Also remember that your personal reality is what you have created by what you have allowed yourself to think and believe.

Take a deep breath… hold… exhale; repeat. Once you feel heart-centered, begin reading.

Steps to Self Love

Drop addictions

You have been led to believe many untruths about addiction. Whether it’s alcohol, nicotine, or some other chemical substance, these are all toxins the physical body does not want or need. Addiction is all in the mind/ego, and it is a slow form of suicide. Therefore, feeding such addictions does not promote self love. In fact, addictions are a form of self loathing, which, again, is the work of the fearful ego that works so hard to keep you in low vibration. Change your thinking, and you can change your reality. Overcoming alcoholism or drug addiction will most likely require support of some kind. We recommend one-on-one counseling or coaching as opposed to group therapy because it will enable you to focus on YOU rather than others in the group.

Stop self-abuse

There are many forms of self-abuse (physical, mental, verbal). In addition to the mental and physical self-abuse of addictions, there is also self mutilation and a variety of eating disorders. There are also forms of sexual perversion and deviancy in this category that do not reflect lovingly on the self. Role-playing to create reenactments of sexual abuse combine the sacred sexual with fear-based energy. This is not healthy, nor is it recommended. Again, counseling may be required for these heavy hitters, and, again, we recommend one-on-one healing sessions versus group therapy.

Process pent-up fear-based emotions

Emotions are energy in motion. If left bottled inside of you, these fear-based emotions can fester into energetic dis-ease within the chakras that can manifest into physical disease within the body. Find healthy ways to process lower fear-based emotions, such as exercise, (kick-boxing anyone?) artistic expression, drumming, venting with a friend you trust to not judge you, journaling, pranic breathing, yoga… there are so many ways to engage a healthy purging process. Find what works best for you.

Learn about Chakras and how they are connected to you

Understand that these energy centers are your soul’s organs and that they require as much care and attention as your physical body. Energy cannot properly flow through you if your Chakras are closed or unbalanced. Without this proper flow, energy becomes stuck and forms blockages, which can lead to mental, emotional and physical disease.

Practice Pranic breathing and meditation

In order to raise your personal vibration, you need to find and live from your heart. To become heart centered, you must slow your response/reaction to the world around and stop allowing your personal vibration to lower based on what is happening in your world. The first step to controlling your personal vibration is breath work. Air/ether is brimming with creator (source) energy, and it is free for your taking, so indulge. SLOWLY indulge. Inhale slowly, hold as long as you can, exhale, and repeat. This process is the cure for anything that ails you. Oxygen calms, soothes, heals, and allows you to become one with yourself – your HIGHER, heart-centered self. Don’t save this breathing practice for meditation. Always be aware of your breathing, especially when you begin to feel anxious or agitated, for this is when you need to practice Pranic breathing the most.

Meditation is simply living in the NOW. If you’re thinking about the past or the future, then you are NOT in the NOW. Meditation does not require sitting cross legged with fingers in various positions with the thumb. Meditation = pure focus… on ANYthing that you are doing, whether that be cooking, gardening, crafting, playing with pets or kids, leisure activities, etc. Remember that it only counts if you are fully present during the activity, however, and in complete joy. The idea of meditation is to forget your troubles, fears, and anxieties. You will know that you have succeeded if time zipped past you while you were enjoying yourself in the now. And remember… there is ONLY NOW.

Exercise

Exercise is the best way to clear chakras. A brisk walk counts, so do not worry if you are not “in shape.” When you are feeling like things are “stuck” inside of you, take a good 20-minute brisk walk. Anything that gets the heart chakra pumping a little faster will help clear all the chakras. While meditation is the best time to be fully present, exercise is a good time to process the old junk and purge it. Walking, jogging, swimming, cycling, in-line skating… all these forms of exercise are great for processing because you’re just in “go mode.” Team sports can also help purge pent-up energy, but require focus on the now.

Gradually move into a healthier diet

Shifting from a heavy meat and potatoes diet to one that is full of fruits and vegetables isn’t going to happen overnight for anyone, and it’s not highly recommended, either. Slowly begin reducing meat and dairy intake while adding more fruits and vegetables to your diet. Keep the portions balanced at first, and gradually reduce the size of meat and dairy portions as you add more fruits and vegetables. Switch from heavier meat to more fish and poultry. Add protein-rich foods such as beans and Quinoa to your diet to replace meat when you are ready. As you reduce or halt your meat intake, you will notice that you feel lighter and brighter in spirit. Eating meat immensely lowers your vibration. You can test this out for yourself once you have cleaned up your diet and then have meat again. Take note of how you feel energetically and physically after eating it.

Stop drinking tap water

If you live in a country that adds fluoride to its tap water, don’t drink it or cook with it. Switch to spring water, distilled water or water that is filtered through reverse-osmosis. Filtering your tap water through charcoal filters will NOT strip out the fluoride. Only the reverse-osmosis or distillation process can remove fluoride from your drinking water. Flouride is poisonous, and it is added to your tap water NOT to help your teeth stay strong, but to keep you lethargic. It is clinically proven that fluoride leads to thyroid and stomach problems. It also calcifies your pineal gland. Drinking distilled water will help decalcify your pineal gland.

Eliminate mind or mood-altering and habit-forming pharmaceuticals

Your pharmaceutical companies claim to have a cure for your depression… anxiety… mental focus… sexual woes… and physical pain. Many of their “cures” contain narcotics that can become habit-forming or push you toward further mental issues that will actually make your problems worse, rather than better. They are also designed to keep you subservient and in low vibration. Some even cause thoughts of suicide and apathy. How low can you go? When you take these medications, you will soon find out. We recommend following and making a committed practice to these steps to self love before weaning yourself off of these medications. And, of course, if you are diagnosed with a mental illness, it is best to discuss the possibility of getting off your medications with your practitioner before doing so.

Monitor thoughts and tame the ego

Observe your judgments and criticisms of others, for these are the very things you do not like or fear about yourself, or perhaps things you don’t like about someone who has hurt you in the past. If you have a dislike or disdain for someone’s behavior and find yourself harshly chastising them for it, there are underlying issues within you that you need to address and release. If you find yourself saying things like “I can’t stand…” or “I hate…” then you have a major underlying issue to release. Why? Because you are allowing this issue to lower your vibration every time it arises. Let it go and clear it out. It is only bringing out the worst of your ego.

Cut off or limit all relationships that do not support your self-love

If people have a problem with you loving yourself or feeling confident, that is THEIR problem that they need to address with their own ego. Look for loving and supportive people who bring out the BEST in you. Leave the rest behind. If they truly matter, they will do their OWN work and catch up with you later, when the time is right. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and what is right for them may not be right for you. It is okay to let them explore their own path while you explore yours. If you are meant to be in each others’ lives down the road, you will be.

Forgive yourself and others

Forgiveness is the only way you can be well. Harboring anger or resentment, holding a grudge… these type of energies are keeping you down and could even be slowly killing you through the manifestation of disease into the physical body. Forgive yourself for allowing these energies to lower your vibration and stay stuck within you, and forgive those who have hurt you or angered you. Most likely these type of wounds occurred due to a contract or agreement with that other soul as a test of self mastery. Always remember that mastery is why you are here in the first place. What are you trying to master, exactly? Divine Will. Remember that Free Will is ego-based and mind-driven. Divine Will is heart-centered and higher-self focused. Your main objective in this “game” is to remember who you truly are in your heart and master the meanderings of the mind/ego. After all, your soul cannot evolve if you keep letting the thoughts of your ego control your life. Remember that your thoughts manifest into your personal reality. Watch your thoughts and let your heart lead with love and compassion.

Accept that life is much simpler than your ego is making it out to be

You are not meant to struggle or suffer. Many of you are making life out to be much harder than it really is by taking things far too personally, holding grudges, refusing to forgive and forget, and holding onto energy you are not meant to carry. Many of you are still allowing your egos to run roughshod over your lives instead of following your hearts into more peaceful ways of living. Whenever you find yourself struggling, feeling low or as if you are suffering in some way, check your ego, and then breathe and find your heart center. Remember that your thoughts are what control your reality. If you don’t like your situation, put your ego in check, raise your vibrations and change how you think, feel and look at your reality. You can see your current challenges as lessons and tools to help you create a new reality for yourself, or you can see them as obstacles and stay stuck where you are. It really is up to you. Your life and your reality is what you create through your thoughts, feelings and personal vibration.

Know that your personal vibration is controlled by YOU and you alone

YOU decide whether or not you are going to allow your vibration to dip or surge in reaction to the influence of others. Nothing anyone does controls you or your response or your moods. YOU do. If you are sad, it is no one’s “fault” but your own. If you are disappointed in someone, that is not THEIR fault… it is yours for choosing to allow yourself to feel disappointed. Understand now, right in this very moment as you read these words that YOU are much bigger, brighter and more intelligent than your ego. Make a pact with your higher self NOW that you will no longer allow your ego to ransack your thoughts, feelings or your life with its careless and nonsensical fodder that holds you down in fear, worry, sadness, and regret.

Choose to see and experience your personal reality and your world through love and compassion for yourself and your fellow inhabitants of your planet. Accept yourself as creators, and hold yourselves accountable for your personal vibration and everything that you create during your lifetime, for you are all contributors to the current state of your planet with every thought, idea, and feeling or emotion. This is why it is so important to love yourself NOW… and forever more.

Over the past few years, I have conducted several Akashic soul readings in which my clients have asked, “How can I attract my twin-flame soul mate?” The answers from their Akashic Records, although usually different in wording and style, all share some consistent advice, the top two being: raise your vibration and love yourself without conditions first and foremost.

Many people feel they should save ALL of their love for their twin-flame soul mate, but please allow me to emphatically express why this should NEVER be the case. First of all, twin-flame relationships are the MOST difficult you will ever encounter unless you are both highly spiritually evolved and fully vibrating with 5D Christ Consciousness (which, most likely, you are not). Secondly, twin flames will mirror to each other all faults, flaws, and fears that need to be addressed and eradicated before either of you can be spiritually evolved enough to fully vibrate at a 5D frequency. This is where ego usually comes in and destroys everything, which leads to the third reason you should love yourself first and foremost: the runner dynamic.

Each and every twin-flame relationship is comprised of two souls that have either split from one OR who are twin whole souls; opinions and theories about this differ from one self-proclaimed “expert” to another. Some say that one of the “twins” is more spiritually mature by nature and can “hold the light” or “flame,” if you will, while the runner twin continually abandons the relationship out of fear, emotional pain and immaturity. However, it is also quite possible that BOTH twins are not spiritually or emotionally mature to handle the high loving energy of a twin-flame soul reunion. And this is why it is SO important to work on YOURSELF first. You must raise your own vibration and to be able to love yourself first and foremost without any conditions, and, most importantly, without any fears of being completely alone for the rest of your life.

In other words, if you cannot find joy in your own company, who else is going to? And, if you cannot treat yourself kindly, who will? We do train others how to treat us by the way we regard ourselves. Now, this is not to say you must build yourself up into an arrogant egomaniac. On the contrary. This is not about the ego at all. This is about the SOUL, which is located within the heart. The ego, if you do not already know, is all in the mind. The ego is that nasty “handicap” your soul must battle as it tries to follow its Divine will or spiritual path. Ego will constantly argue for “free will” and “independence.” It will also keep you in fear. Of everything. And everyone. Even your beloved twin-flame soul mate.

So, yes, you will have a fight on your hands in the beginning. Taming the ego. Shutting it up. Shutting it down. It IS possible. It takes a great deal of discipline, however. And, not only do you have to ignore the persistence of your ego, you must also get in touch with your SOUL, and you must learn to not only LIKE yourself, but to actually LOVE yourself. You must replace every criticism from your ego with a sincere, loving compliment. And you have to convince yourself that you have NOTHING to lose with this transformation.

Once you finally silence your ego, you might even miss it… for a second. Until you realize that silence is not only enjoyable, but it is truly, sweetly DIVINE. You may even begin to hear the loving words and compliments of your own Akash, a collective of masters, teachers and loved ones, and, yes, angels and spirit guides. And you may even find it possible to actually… RELAX. You might find that every knotted bit of tension, no matter how great or small, magically melts away. This is the beginning of raising your vibration. Immerse yourself into this new, peaceful ecstasy. Trust it, for it is the true you, and the REAL way your life is meant to feel. Peaceful. Serene. Indulgent, perhaps? Immerse yourself into that luxurious indulgence. This is a very simple way to offer yourself the true, unconditional, pure love that you so rightly deserve. This is where you can begin to forgive yourself and let go of all those things you said or did on an egoic level that may have cost you friendships or created an icy wedge between you and your loved ones, be they life partners, siblings, parents, grandparents, or other blood relatives. Know that anything and everything can be repaired once you let go and forgive… not only them, but yourself as well. This is where self-love begins, by recognizing that all negative behavior resulted out of a fear-based energy that you are now rising up out of, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And, because you do TRULY love yourself, you are raising your own vibration into that of higher consciousness, light and unconditional love.

There is an old saying that goes: in order to love others, you must first love yourself. I believe the same is true with forgiveness. In order to forgive others, you must first forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for snapping… for reacting… for judging. Forgive yourself for being afraid. Because that is where all conflict breeds… out of the lower, fear-based energy we on Earth have been living in for so long. So now it is easy to recognize that others were also afraid, and that is why they behaved the way they did. How can we not forgive people for being afraid? Fear is something we have all felt, so we can all relate on the same level.

Once forgiveness is accomplished, it is time to accelerate into a higher, more loving vibration. Love yourself. Entertain yourself. Treat yourself! Enjoy your own company. Raise your vibrations so high that you want to spend the rest of your life with yourself! And, once you have accomplished that, be so dedicated to yourself and raise your standards so that people will strive to meet them, rather than expect you to lower them.

It is true that all kinds of people are attracted to those with higher vibrations. Especially your twin flame. Just remember that until your twin is vibrating at the same high 5D frequency as you, the two of you most likely won’t be able to harmoniously reunite. In fact, you may reunite a few times and fail, but, as long as you love yourself for who you are just AS you are, it won’t matter, for you already have all you need. Your unconditional love for yourself is ALL that you need. Once you achieve this wisdom, you have already accomplished self mastery… which will only make it easier for you to continue on your own illuminated spiritual path of Divine will, full of detached unconditional love for your Divine compliment.

Make no mistake that while the two of you are separated, your twin will also be learning the same lessons about ego and the importance of self love. It is best, however, to focus on yourself and your own path. Successful separate journeys will eventually guide you back onto the same path as long as both remain heart centered and dedicated to loving the self as much as or even more than the twin counterpart.

Yeah, I said it. When I asked my higher self just how many different timeline lives she was living, she replied, “Oh, about 150.” And so, I admit it, I called her a Timeline Whore. She laughed, of course. And you are probably laughing, too, but, at the time I said it, I was really kind of pissed, to be honest. For about a day or so, it made me feel like I didn’t even have a soul. Like I’m just a pawn. An experiment on a timeline. A fucking GAME to her. I mean, seriously??? One hundred and fifty???!!! All at ONCE? C’mon!!! Who has time for that? Who can keep TRACK of all that drama?

“Don’t even try to comprehend it from where you sit,” she said.

So I didn’t. Whatever, right? It took a couple of days for me trust her assurance that she is with me, always, for every short and long breath.

The conversation happened after I wrote chapter seven of My Akashic Journey, which presented me with more information than I could process in one day about multiple timelines within the multiverse. It has taken me a couple weeks and a bit of consultation with my trusted advanced-consciousness cronies to actually make the decision to publish this mind-bender. Hold onto your hats. I kept seeing 555 codes everywhere before I conducted this reading and wrote this chapter…

On May 10th I was thinking about a reading I had just given and how it is interesting the way soul groups tend to surround a particular issue and weave in and out of it, playing all the different roles surrounding the issue in order to help one another come to terms with it. I realized it was a lot like higher education, in a way. As undergrads, we pick a major and we study all the components necessary to get a degree in that field. In that major we may feel drawn to a more particular sector, so we go on to investigate further and obtain a master’s degree. We may even decide to then take it one step further and get that doctorate in order to gain the expertise to help others. And once we are helping others, we know we have truly evolved, right? As I was pondering this metaphor, a tidal wave of information crashed down on me about my own life… and reincarnation… and timelines… and… how to finally explain, once and for all… that we are living ALL of these lives simultaneously. WHOA. Talk about drowning in TMI all at once! Damn. I feel like I have a concussion as I write this, but I know I have to, or I will forget everything as quickly as it hit me.

Okay, so I have been shown a few things in a matter of MINUTES, but I know it is going to take hours to explain it all, since the flashes of “Remember this? And that? And THIS? See how they’re all connected?” is going to actually take time for me to explain to everyone who does not live inside my head. Keep in mind, these are pieces of a puzzle that have shown up over several years of time in my own personal life in this particular timeline we are currently sharing. I will present them chronologically and as concisely as possible (sort of like Exhibit A, B and C in a courtroom drama, if you follow).

All my life, in my heart I have known about reincarnation. I have known of my roots and bloodlines, even, that connect me directly to who most know as Jesus Christ. Yes, crazy, I know. That is why I never, EVER talk about it… until recently, of course. As the puzzle pieces begin to come together and I am awakening to who I am – several fractals of one light being who is living many, many timelines all at once – it is starting to (very slowly) make more and more sense. I don’t have all of the answers yet because there is no photo to compare the puzzle pieces to, if you know what I mean. I am just blindly fitting these pieces together, unsure of what “big picture” they will ultimately create actually looks like. When I think about this stuff, I am reminded of the Terminator movies and Butterfly Effect.

Why Terminator you ask? Well, as I see it, what is actually going on is that we are living all these lives at once on different timelines and looking to our “future” selves to be the masters or the experts, if you will, who have the ability to look back or travel back into other timelines to share information or expertise that will enable our other fractal selves to solve problems and issues that could otherwise harm us or the planet in one way shape or form. And, like Butterfly Effect, we are even living some of the same lives during the same timelines over again to fix or repair mistakes that cost us in the future lives. WHEW!! Okay. Crazy, I know. Hard to follow? You bet! But, I finally GET IT!!! This is the way my guides explained it to me:

Imagine yourself at a BINGO Hall playing several cards at the same time. Say you have five cards. (Each represents a different life on a different timeline.) Now, it is unlikely that any two of those five cards will be exactly the same, but, while rare, it IS possible. (Meaning that you can live the same exact life as the same person during the same time period… BUT, the difference being that it’s a different timeline, so in that life the history can be completely different. Now we’re getting into Groundhog Day kind of stuff: do it over until you finally get it right). While the BINGO card metaphor doesn’t quite bring it home, it sort of helped make sense of how our higher selves are playing out several lives all at once… and sometimes even two versions (maybe even more) of the SAME life during the SAME time period on different timelines.

You’re probably wondering how this crazy stuff even came into my mind. Well, as I explained before, it arrived in pieces, over several years, which were all just presented to me in reminder flash fashion about 90 minutes ago in that tidal wave of TMI.

These flashes did NOT come in chronological order, so try to follow.

A few weeks ago I had a dream about my twin flame soul mate and I. I could tell by the songs on the radio, our clothes and our hairstyles and simply by the way we looked that this was the early 90s, back when we were just out of high school. We were sitting in her car in her parents’ garage listening to the radio. I had just told her something about some guy who had date raped me, and I leaned my head on her shoulder. There was so much love and trust between us, I could feel it. She then invited me into the folded down backseat as her dad’s silhouette appeared in the doorway that led into their house. We managed to duck just in time to escape his attention.

We curled up on the flat surface in the back seat and laid there in the dim lighting of the garage contently looking at each other.

“My parents think I’m a lesbian,” she finally whispered to me.

I felt myself gasp as the dream came to a screeching halt.

I woke up going, “Whaaat the FUCK???”

Primarily because it felt so REAL. Like I had actually BEEN there with her, in that very place, at that very time, in that very moment. What I mean is that it felt a lot more like a memory than a dream.

Holy crap, I thought to myself. It was real? It was real, wasn’t it? Scarborough? We didn’t know each other back then. Not at all. How can this be real?

“It was another life on the same timeline,” Scarborough, my higher self explained.

WHAT???

I scrambled out of bed and immediately went to my computer and wrote to Ariel Deangelis:

Hey… got a question for you regarding the concept that we live all our lives at once vs. the one-life-at-a-time-but-not-necessarily-in chronological-order philosophy…

Since we can hop into any timeline… is it possible for us to hop into the SAME timeline and live the same lives over and over again, but switching things up to get different results? (Sort of like Butterfly Effect, but it being an entire lifetime rather than just several time jumps?)

I had this weird dream this morning that is prompting this question. Just wondering what you think.

Ariel’s response:

Yes… have you sensed this happening… you are not alone.

My reply:

So what IS this? Groundhog Day? We keep doing it over until we get it right?

Ariel’s response:

Yes, interesting isn’t it? [Arch Angel] Michael likened it to me the other day as us being at a point which we’re ALL going to Ascend – those of us who have chosen to, anyway… as you might have deduced, we’re not all exactly ready to do that… lots of unfinished business, both here and “there”… so, in effect, we have the “ability” (if you want to call it that) to hit “rewind,” go back (or forward – cuz even if you go back, you’re still moving forward) to a previous (and/or slightly different) “timeline” (or “point of experience”) which enables us to “have another go” at it… yeah, that’s a kind of a “Michael-y” sort of explanation, but nevertheless, pretty close to what we are experiencing now… so you see, we really DO have ALL of ETERNITY to get it “right” … the fun is just beginning…

WOW.

Okay, so there is Exhibit A. The dream. There were other dreams I had about that timeline, too, that I don’t want to get into because they involve the one with the negative energy who threw the “curse” on my father’s grandfather and how my twin-flame soul mate became entangled with her. At first, my thought was that life had already been lived out and that we failed our mission, so we are doing it over, but now as I write this, I realize we are probably living that exact same life RIGHT NOW and perhaps we have not failed… YET… or perhaps, even, THIS is the life in which we could either succeed or fail. Or maybe everything… every OTHER life being lived at this very moment that we are tapping into through dreams or “memories” is actually CONTINGENT upon THIS life, THIS now. WOW. No pressure or anything. I’m not saying I’m right about this, because there is still a LOT that doesn’t add up or make sense. And no, I am not on a mushroom trip or any other “trip,” for that matter.

After they remind me of the dream, my guides show me Exhibit B. The photo. A few months ago, my twin-flame soul mate sent me a photo of herself when she was probably in fifth or sixth grade. She sent me several, actually, from grade school. She looked boyish, and very, very cute in all of them. There was the one photo, from fifth or sixth grade (she couldn’t remember which) that kept coming back to me over and over again for days and weeks after she’d sent it. I felt a deep connection with that one photo for some reason. I told her my feelings about it. Her only response was: “Weird.”

Yeah. Weird. Now I feel that maybe that is when we made our first connection with each other in this other life we are living on that “slightly different timeline” as Ariel describes it. You see, in “this life,” my twin flame and I did not even meet until May 5, 2007, when we were both 36 years old. But I am now beginning to have strong feelings that we met much earlier on this other timeline I have been dreaming about. And, this may sound really weird, but I almost miss that life and find myself longing to go back to it, even though I am not at all familiar with it.

I’m standing at the dishwasher loading dirty plates as this feeling comes over me about the photo again… the same place I’ve been standing and same chore I have been doing when the photo connection feeling has come up several times over the past few months. So maybe the dishwasher is some kind of link? It’s possible. We DID have dishwashers way back then – when I was in grade school and middle school – believe it or not. Perhaps loading and unloading it was one of my chores at that time when I often found myself thinking about her? I suppose my Akashic Records could tell me.

Then my guides show me Exhibit C, that ornate tile décor I noticed in my dormitory building at 4 Charlesgate East in Boston, Massachusetts, when I was a freshman at Emerson College. I recognized it immediately and realized “I’ve been here before,” with utmost clarity and certainty. Then I frowned. “But I’ve NEVER been here before,” I reminded myself. I later told my friend Wil (yes the Emerson shuttle bus driver I had a crush on for years) about it.

I remember how he stared straight ahead and said to me, “You’ve been there before.”

It gave me goose bumps.

“Fuckin’ Wil the bus driver,” I chuckled to myself. That dude and my attraction to him was always such a mystery to me. But I realized this morning that he served a purpose far greater than I ever imagined until… well… this morning. He was the very first person I talked to about reincarnation who actually affirmed it. Holy crap. That was 24 years ago! Wil the bus driver is now 68 years old. Sorry. I digress. But you get the idea of how long it has taken to put these pieces together.

And Exhibit C reminds me of the fact that my twin-flame soul mate was out there, in Massachusetts, around the same time as me (on this timeline, in this life). When I was out doing yard work the other day, her higher self Ulron told me that he wanted SO badly for us to meet out there. He tried so HARD to nudge her to go to Boston.

“I would have found you,” he said. “And she would have talked to you. Just imagine what it would have been like…”

“Dude, I thought I was straight then,” I reminded him. “Nothing would have happened.”

That led me to wonder, though… about this slightly different timeline… did I go out to Boston to college in that timeline or not?

So many things to ask my Akashic Records! Here I go…

I had this dream about me and my twin-flame soul mate sitting in her car together talking when we were in our late teens or early twenties, but I did not know her at that time in this life. Scarborough says we have lived this life as the same people during the same time period before. How is this possible? What can you tell me about timelines and simultaneous lives?

Jen, this is Christopher, a loved one and member of the Ring of 500. I will attempt to answer this question for you as best I can, me being in spirit world and you being in 3D. I have been there before, myself, so I know how difficult it is to grasp this concept since your entire life and world is run by a clock and timelines other than the one in which you currently live are also incomprehensible.

First, let’s be clear: You, Jen Freer, have not lived ANY other lives other than the one you are currently living. Your higher self, however (the REAL you — Scarborough) has lived many. Or created many, I should say. Some will call these many lives (or characters, if you will) “fractals.” Or, as we say over here in spirit world: “experiments.”

Remember when you were younger and you played with your Barbie dolls and Adventure People? You created story lines for them, right? And, as a writer, when you write your fictitious stories, you do the same thing, don’t you? You create characters and story lines. Well, higher selves do the same thing. They are the creators, or the authors, so to speak. And, just as you may have three or four different story ideas, all with completely different characters living in completely different places during different time periods that are in varied states of completion, your higher self has a lot of the same kind of thing going on. Now remember, higher selves are Masters. They are able to be in several places all at once. They can have many fractals (lives) going on simultaneously. And, just as an author can pick any time period for which their story takes place, master higher selves can do the same thing.

Okay, Christopher, if I may interject? I would like to ask, then, why am I having memories or dreams of other lives my higher self has lived?

Because you are connected. You keep reading and hearing the phrase “we are all one.” And that is true. Because every higher self is a fractal of source energy (or GOD energy). Your higher self is trying to share with you your connection to her and all the other creations she has made. You are an extension of her, just as all these other storylines and characters are extensions of her.

What about the twin-flame soul mate?

Also an extension of her. The masculine energy. Okay, see, Ulron and Scarborough are a pair that were split from one fractal into two. And they, together, can decide if they are going to co-create or not. So, while they mostly DO co-create together, sometimes they do not. For you, Jen, they have co-created, meaning that you and the person you feel is your twin flame will come together on your timeline to clear up old energy and move into oneness together to create healing projects. The exact details of these creative projects are pretty much unwritten because Scarborough and Ulron want to leave the creativity up to the two of you, once your vibrations are equal and the two of you are once again in harmony.

Okay, so, if we are ONLY us, then why is it we are affected by other lives our higher selves have lived? Like, why are we purging LIFETIMES of “past traumas” and fears and other general suckiness?

Because we’re all one. Think about it. When you’re writing a story, are the characters in your story influenced by your own emotions?

Sometimes, yes. But not always. Because sometimes I am writing as an escape.

Ah. But, still, the characters are an extension of you. So, whatever you are feeling or have experienced or imagine, they are essentially going to experience, too, at some time or another within the storyline. Because YOU are the creator. Right?

Yes. But I thought higher selves were supposed to be Masters.

Yes. They are masters. But they are not necessarily fully ascended masters. Do you understand?

No. I thought Masters meant fully ascended.

No. Not necessarily. Just like those with a master’s degree from grad school don’t yet have their doctorates, you see? It’s much like that, OR, Karate. You cannot get the black belt until you have all the other colored belts first.

So it’s another hierarchical system?

If you want to see it that way. But this is more about energy – vibration and frequency – more than it is about rank and power and authority. In a way, you are like the “feeler” for your higher self. Your higher self experiences energy through you and gains knowledge and wisdom from your experiences much the same way you as an author learn from your own characters in your stories, right? Not to be crude, but it is almost like the scientists who put mice in a maze and move the cheese around and change up the patterns of the maze to see how the mouse will react and respond. But that is more beginner level stuff.

The opportunity to explore the higher dimensions. One must achieve a higher vibration in order to access the higher dimensions.

So it IS like a video game?

In some ways, yes. But far more exciting and rewarding.

How so?

Because it’s the multiverse. It is infinite.

Okay, so, explain to me again why a fractal like myself has to feel the pain and suffering of other lives (fractals) being lived by my higher self.

Well, it did not used to be that way. Because levels of consciousness are higher now, more and more fractals are becoming aware of their connections. Unity consciousness is beginning to connect more and more of these fractals to their source energy and all of its other fractals. Everything is energy, my dear. You know that whole deal about E-motion being energy in motion? How no emotion is good or bad, it’s just energy? That is exactly true. And it is exactly why fractals are tapping into their higher selves and the other fractals being lived by your higher self. So, WERE you on the Titanic with your twin-flame soul mate when it went down? No. JEN was not. But Scarborough was. And Ulron was. And they are the REAL you. So you feel the energy and emotion attached to that incident. Or as much as your higher self feels it, anyway.

I do not feel as affected by it as much as my twin-flame soul mate does, but let me ask you a couple of questions about that, since you, Christopher, were the one who came through when we did her reading about the Titanic. You said she was an architect and a designer who worked on that ship, but she went to another psychic and asked him if that was true, and he said no, that she was some sort of crew member who reported the iceberg and was dismissed and then was the first to die in a wall of water. Why are we getting conflicting stories about this?

First, let me ask you this… did the psychic open her Akashic records?

I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. I don’t believe it was an Akashic reading. Just an intuitive reading as far as I know.

Did the psychic speak directly with her higher self, Ulron?

I don’t know. Is it possible Ulron created two fractals of himself who were on the ship at the same time?

It’s possible, but I cannot say without her records being open.

What do my records say?

Your records say only one fractal on the Titanic with Ulron’s fractal. But that doesn’t mean he did not have another fractal on that timeline or a slightly altered timeline.

How would you describe a “slightly altered timeline?”

Staggered. One that is slightly behind. A do-over timeline, basically. You know how things are always being revised? Consider it something like that. It’s usually a fail. If you remember the movie you mentioned earlier – Butterfly Effect – it’s a lot like that. You know how he keeps going back and trying to “fix” or “repair” the past to create a better or more ideal present for the girl he loves, but everything he does only seems to make matters worse? Yeah. It’s a lot like that. Again, like I said, it’s all experimental. Nothing is actually made better or worse… just different.

But, with the Titanic, the ship goes down and 1500 people die. And JP Morgan gets away with it all.

On your timeline it does, anyway.

What does that mean?

It means… what you perceive as reality isn’t necessarily so. It all depends on which timeline you are living.

So there is possibly a timeline where the Titanic doesn’t sink?

There are many timelines where the Titanic is a success.

Seriously?

It’s all about energy, my dear. Collective consciousness energy. Remember the Matrix? Which pill will you choose? Red or blue? Which pill did your higher self choose? You see, this is why not ALL higher selves are “ascended Masters.”

What if I want a different timeline?

Well, I am afraid that isn’t possible from your vantage point. Although everything CAN be changed collectively… through collective consciousness. Or you can always merge and become one with your higher self.

Okay, what about this other “slightly altered” timeline in which my twin-flame soul mate and I are living (or lived)? What can you tell me about that life? Where did we first meet? How old were we?

On that timeline, you met in grade school. You transferred in to her school in Elkhart, Indiana when your dad got a job on the police force there. You were about 10. You were both little tomboys, although you were the more feminine and she was the more masculine. You got along swimmingly from the get-go. Dirt bikes, skateboards, basketball, baseball, fishing. You actually lived pretty close to each other, near the river, so you had plenty of adventures together. Until you went your separate ways after high school. You went away to college. Boston. She stayed in Elkhart. You got married. She explored same-sex relationships.

Scarborough said we failed our mission in that life.

Yes. The third party – the girl with lupus – bailed.

Bailed?

Expired.

So what happens on that timeline, then?

It has already dissolved.

So is this the only timeline we have left to complete the mission?

Looks like it, yes.

Why did the other timeline dissolve? I mean, if only one person died?

Everyone eventually died, dear.

So it’s a past life, then? Not currently being lived simultaneously?

As I said before, timelines are staggered, so not every single fractal of your higher self is happening simultaneously. So, as your perception goes, from your current vantage point, yes, this could be considered a “past life,” since everyone on that timeline has expired.

So this life for us IS a “do over?”

You could consider it that, yes.

What happens if we fail in this one, too?

Why would you let that happen? You’re both consciously aware of why you’re here and what needs to happen. Your higher selves put you here in this particular timeline of heightened awareness so you would not fail.

Why is it so important that we “reverse the curse,” anyway? Can’t we just cancel the contracts?

Sure, you can cancel the contracts. But that doesn’t clean up the mess. That’s just calling quitting time before the job is done, you see. And it is important to fulfill the contract because your father’s grandfather’s family is a direct descendent bloodline of Sarah (higher self Scarborough), the daughter of Jesus and her twin-flame soul mate Luke. And Jesus likes to keep a tidy bloodline, you see. Not to mention that this dark energy has affected a LOT of people. Not just the families, but everyone the descendents of these two families come in contact with on a daily basis. All in all, that is a LOT of people.

Well, I feel like there is nothing I can do. I did the best I could, and it wasn’t good enough. What more can I do?

You’ve done all you can. The rest is up to the other two parties of the contract. Send love and light and keep the faith. The truth is out, and it is accessible. Other parties willing to lend their light and positive energy to the situation are welcome to assist at any time, should they find it in their hearts to do so. You did not fail. And this is far from over. Stay positive. Raise your vibration in faith and love. You have a good number of angels and ascended masters on your side.

I already know what they will say. They will say this is my ego talking, and that I am just trying to manipulate the situation to my favor.

What does Grandpa James always tell you? Hearts don’t change. Only minds change. Hearts stay true. Forever.Your heart is true. Your love is unconditional. It always has been. That is why you were chosen.

Thank you, Christopher.

Chosen. That is a word I heard a lot as a kid. In my head, when I was riding my bike alone or wandering through the woods. A gentle man’s voice told me over and over: “You are a golden child, Jen. A chosen one.” I do believe I asked my mom once what it meant to be a “chosen one.” Her answer sounded like a lot of pressure. I just wanted to play and be carefree. Needless to say, I ignored those messages as I moved into middle school and blocked out the voice. No wonder it is taking so long to put all the jigsaw pieces back together. If I had only listened…

But that is what free will does for us. Our egos want all this independence. Ego says: This is MY life! I’ll do as I please!

And, of course, ego never wants us to believe anything good about ourselves. No wonder our higher selves have to create so many fractals. So very few are willing to listen to them.

So now we know. We have a choice. We can follow the guidance of our higher selves, stick to our contracts, and ascend with them. Or we can be another junk fractal that didn’t work out. A used bingo card. An experiment. Or a failure requiring a “do over.”

So last summer my dream came true; I reunited with my twin-flame (sacred-union) soul mate. We enjoyed a blissful few months together. She proposed to me on the beach in front of a circle of our closest Pleiadian friends currently incarnate with us from the Pleiadian Ring of 500 the night before my birthday. What I thought was a birthday cake was actually a proposal. Written on the cake in orange (my favorite color) lettering was the question: “Will you marry me?”

Of course I said yes. We had a beautiful evening with music, fireworks, dancing and late-night dipping in Lake Michigan. It was the best night of my life, to be with the one I love with all of my heart and soul and all of our closest, dearest friends and Pleiadian family members. It was also the best birthday of my life, as she agreed to move in with me. We had a wonderful two months of bliss, but then, of course, fear set in and my twin-flame ran again.

My Akashic Records and other sources say that we will reunite again one day. I trust this is true because no matter how hard I try to move on without her, nothing works. Even if I want it to. I met someone recently I was pretty excited to spend the rest of my life with, but, no sooner than I got my hopes up, I received a barrage of text messages from HER fiancé. Yeah. Nice.

Doom and Gloom.

I see that I am doomed to sit in misery while I continue to WAIT, stalled out in this ridiculous holding pattern because someone is too scared to be happy. Some days, I honestly would rather slit my throat to end this nightmare. I never really even wanted to be here in the first place. I’m sure this is true because I constantly have this feeling that I was dragged into this life. Or pushed. Or coerced. That is just how it feels. NOTHING is ever enjoyable for me. Even when I am happy, it can only be for a few minutes at a time because someone is ALWAYS fucking it up for me. Yeah, I said it! The F-word. Come on, you know this would not be a true heart-felt chapter of my journey without it!

So, I could go on and on here and tell you how it’s all bullshit – this theory or philosophy that “love heals everything” and that twin flames or sacred-union soul mates don’t ever really reunite in harmonious bliss (that we’re just here to push each other’s buttons and make each other LEARN, LEARN, LEARN all the difficult lessons in life.) Okay, that’s crap, too. Well, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s true. But what I mean by “that’s crap” is that it is the stupidest fucking shit EVER.

Yeah, it WOULD be nice if we could all just LOVE each other and get along. It WOULD be nice if on December 21, 2012 all of our egos had dove to their deaths like suicidal lemmings so it COULD be possible to truly love without fear or doubt. But that didn’t happen, did it? Nope. Ego’s still here. Alive and kickin’ like a tenacious wild stallion. Annnd it still sucks. Big time.

As you can tell, I am having some major issues that I am wrestling with. And it is more than just losing my twin flame (AGAIN). I also lost my job. Which, at first, I thought was a blessing in disguise because I thought I could finally do Akashic Readings for a living, but, as things continued to get worse with my twin flame and the county kept threatening to take my house from me, I really lost faith. I mean… BAD.

YES, I am depressed. YES, I am a suicidal lemming in search of a nice, tall cliff with lots of jagged rocks and a pounding sea below. NO, I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT THE GOD DAMN LESSON IS IN THIS. FUCK IT!!! FUCK EVERYTHING. Let me GO HOME. NOW!!!!!

Sound familiar? I bet it does. I KNOW it does. I have had PLENTY of talks with people feeling exactly the same way I do. LOTS of people are feeling suicidal, believe it or not. Worthless. Hopeless. And helpless.

But, oddly enough, there is this inner calm in the middle of the storm. All of these thoughts raging, swirling, spiraling, and desperately trying to pull me (us?) downward into the deep, dark abyss of nothingness. But it fails every time because there is this deep inner peace with it all. What IS that? It’s… it’s like… do you remember those turtle floats we had as kids? Those dense expanded foam turtle shells they used to strap around our chests that stayed on our backs to help keep us afloat as we learned to swim? Yeah. It’s like one of those. Right in the center of my chest. And its message is perfectly clear:

Cry and whine all you want. Kick and scream, even. We’re NOT going down.

Faith Restored.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, back in early January of 2013, I sought solace in my friend Ariel DeAngelis, who I consider to be a twin-flame expert. I told her how losing my twin flame again had made me second guess myself. My abilities as an Akashic Reader, actually. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just made the whole thing up? If not, then why did we split again?

I know what most of you are thinking. Why didn’t I just ask my Akashic Records? Well, as I just said, I was afraid I was just plain wrong. That I had made it all up in my head. And that the concept of twin-flame soul mates is just bunk.

Well, of course Ariel had a lot of great answers and even some intuitive information about my twin flame that was pretty dead-on accurate despite the fact that she has never met either of us in person, nor does she know my twin flame at all, not even by a social networking connection. So she made me feel somewhat better with the old, “as twin flame soul mates, we’re always together, even when we’re NOT together.” Yep. Whether we like it or not. And I say that because I am really just tired of the ego bullshit that sends us meandering down the wayward idiot paths only to wind up back where we belong… TOGETHER. Being the higher spiritual (and extremely impatient) half, I honestly don’t see the “need” to be apart. BUT (I admit I DID ask my Akashic Records when she moved out WHY this was happening) the records revealed that my twin flame’s higher self had requested one last separation before oneness so he could better appreciate coming into oneness. I, of course, told him he’s an ass, and he had just better hurry up with that nonsense. (We really do make a phenomenal pair… WHEN we’re TOGETHER.)

Love is patient. Love is kind. What a bunch of bullshit! Get your scaredy-cat ass on this train. NOW!!!

Okay, you all get my drift. I’m SUPER impatient. EXTREMELY. Not to mention that I am just completely BORED with fear and its ill-effects on society in general and as a whole. Fear is stupid. It makes you think stupid things that manifest into crazy shit far worse than the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Did we seriously NOT learn ANYTHING from Ghostbusters? And why can we still not comprehend that worrying is like praying for what we DON’T want? CRIMINY!!!

Okay, done ranting. For a minute. Long enough to tell you what a genius Ariel DeAngelis truly is. When I thanked her for her comforting perspective, she told me to feel free to contact her any time. Even “the other way,” if I wished. I said that would be interesting, for certain. So she said, “let’s try it!” So we ran an experiment. I said I would telepathically contact her sometime that afternoon, but would not tell her what time, exactly. I would have a mental conversation with her, and then, later that evening, I would contact her and ask her what we talked about. She agreed to my terms and conditions.

Not to get all Mark Twain or anything, but I must digress for a moment, because this is what I do. Try to follow. I bundled up the Chihuahuas and took them for a nice, long, 90-minute power walk down to the golf course, around the 13th hole and back. It was on the way back that a random memory from 2006 popped into my head. Yes. 2006. I know. Just follow. It’s really significant to My Akashic Journey – Chapter Six – The Unexpected One. But it all started here. In this moment. On this walk before my telepathic conversation with Ariel DeAngelis. I don’t know WHY it came to me at that very moment that I was power walking the very steep winding hill on my way home, but it occurred to me that I needed to ask Ariel about the super weird thing that happened to me while watching DaVinci Code. I had not even thought about it since 2008 when I saw DaVinci Code the second time. But there it was, popping into my head, random as an ADHD Gen Y comedian. Stay tuned.

So when I got home, I sat on my exercise ball and began stretching. It was about 1:30ish. While stretching, I contacted Peter. You know, the Pleaidian being I sometimes channel. I said, “Hey, Peter, I am supposed to have a telepathic conversation with Ariel DeAngelis this afternoon. Let’s surprise her with a three-way call!”

Of course Peter was all for that! So we patched Ariel in and had a little conference call that was pretty lighthearted and full of laughter. After Peter “hung up,” Ariel and I continued our conversation with a topic she told me to ask her about. I won’t get into the details here, as that is all private and whatnot, but I will say that the details were… very detailed. And no, it wasn’t about Arch Angel Michael.

While we were talking, I got up to make lunch, so there were a couple of lulls in the conversation as I concentrated on cooking instructions and timing and whatnot. Yeah, I’m lame. I read the directions and follow them. Anyway, what I found interesting is that when our conversation was over and my lunch was finished, I wrote to Ariel and said, “Okay. What did we talk about?” she had the time of the conversation (between 1:30 and 2:00 PM EST) accurate as well as the two lulls in conversation I just described. Although she did not recall talking with Peter, she did remember the gusto with which our conversation began, and she also told me our three different topics exactly. Then she asked me, “Okay, so what did YOU hear ME say?”

I wrote her back with the very detailed details and she. was. FLOORED.

“Wow,” she told me. “You are the REAL DEAL.”

Of course, she never had a doubt.

And then she said, “If I don’t doubt you, then why do YOU doubt you?”

That was a very good question, indeed.

And that brought me the courage to share with her that memory I mentioned from 2006. Something I refused to accept about myself that I knew in my heart was true for a very long time. It was a knowing I believe I was born with, but never, EVER shared with anyone. It was the kind of knowing that is so certain that when this bit of craziness was sprung upon me in 2006 while watching DaVinci Code, I was not even surprised by it. But there was no way in hell I was going to accept it. Or admit it, for that matter. Stay tuned. I am about to open my Akashic Records and ask about it. ALL of it. And I guarantee you that the information I receive will knot up a bunch of Christian panties into an excruciatingly uncomfortable wad. Not that it’s my intention to do so. Like I said… I never wanted to know this information, let alone share it. Primarily because I know I will be attacked, damned to hell and shamed for it. But I figure, hey, my life already sucks. I might as well tell the truth since that is what I came here to do. Kicking and screaming.

It was five years ago today, on May 5, 2007, that I met my twin flame soul mate. A blinding light flashed when our eyes first met, and I immediately knew this was a sign. The short time we spent together was amazing — the highest vibrations I’ve ever experienced with another being–and our chemistry was out of this world. Losing her felt like dying, but the loss changed my life in so many positive ways.

If I had not lost her, I probably would have never walked my spiritual path, and I would have never discovered the Akashic records, where I learned more about our other lives and our mission together in this current life. As members of the Pleiadian Ring of 500, we have loved and lost each other so many times in the linear, physical world, sacrificing our spiritual bond to help teach those around us what unconditional love truly is and that true love has no boundaries.

For this experience, we (our higher selves) have agreed to come back together to combine our creative talents and twin flame energies to help raise the vibrations on this planet for the greater good of Mother Earth and the collective. So today, on this 5-5-5 Supermoon Saturday, World Liberation Day, I honor the fifth-year anniversary of meeting my twin flame — the greatest love of all. If you can spare a moment on this day of the supermoon energies, I ask, if you would be so kind, to please envision the two of us reunited for the greater good and doing our work together as post-2012 healers (as stated by my Akashic Records).

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Let’s remember to focus on the positive today and envision the kind of world in which we wish to live. I will be envisioning global peace, freedom, abundance and unconditional love for all. Here’s to World Liberation and our ONENESS.

How do you know you have a very powerful twin-flame connection in a dualistic universe? When others are constantly getting in the way and making low-down dirty attempts to keep you apart.

Playing with fire.

When people will say anything and do anything — cross ethical and spiritual boundaries, even — to make sure you and your twin flame will never, ever reunite, you know you have a very powerful connection. One that endures all the adversity. One that laughs in the face of these petty little pawns and rooks who think they can somehow undo the connection or diminish the power with futile schemes and manipulative games.

Red-hot spiritual agenda.

Twin flame soul mates don’t incarnate together to have a hot and steamy love affair or the ultimate romantic relationship. They have been together for eons. Yes, they have a very deep, emotional soul connection, but it’s more than just that, even. They’re here with an agenda. A spiritual agenda. One that tests traditions and blasts social boundaries to smithereens. One that challenges humanity to expand their comfort zones and open their hearts.

For my twin flame and me, our agenda has always been to challenge social norms in the relationship department. In other lives, we’ve been interracial couples and same-sex lovers. And yes, we’ve even died for our cause. My twin flame and I have been murdered numerous times for our “forbidden love.” But when one is left incarnate to mourn the loss, we’ve never lost our connection. Through all the pain and turmoil, we are still bound, eternally and faithfully, by an undying, unconditional love. That is our promise to one another as light beings and physical beings. We are attached by silver cords and gold cords that can never be severed. Believe me. I know. I have tried.

Now why would I want to do that, you ask? Well, until I understood these cords could never be cut, I thought I could ceremoniously sever the energetic cords that bound us to stop the deep, constant pain of being separate. A spirit guide then approached and said, “No. Stop trying. It cannot be done.” And that’s when I learned of the silver (past life) and gold (spiritual attainment) cords that bind us as soul mates. And, still later, I learned we’re not just soul mates, but twin-flame soul mates, which is even more powerful.

Scorching synchronicity.

Just how powerful is this connection? Imagine every place you go, you get a synchronistic reminder. Maybe, as your mind wanders over memories of times you spent together while you’re driving somewhere, a song from that exact time (four years ago) suddenly plays on your favorite Top 40 radio station, and a car just like your twin flame’s pulls out in front of you or is driving toward you. It could be as subtle as that. Or it could be way more “in your face.”

For example, when I was dating someone new, who actually knew my twin flame and the make, model and color of the car she drove, we were both a bit freaked out when we walked back to her truck to find the same make, model and color car parked next to hers, TWICE, in two different locations ON THE SAME NIGHT. After that, whenever we were together, we saw at least one car exactly like my twin flame’s either on the road or in parking lots.

I began to notice that any time I was dating someone, even though my twin flame and I had been separated for quite some time, that these type of synchronicities — from songs to similar cars to initials on license plates and logos that reminded me of her — would dramatically increase, along with dreams of her, telepathic conversations with her, and sometimes even astral body contact. Of course, nobody believes me, but it all happened. Sometimes even with eye witnesses who would then turn to me in disbelief and say, “My god, she still loves you.”

Just a heartbeat away.

I couldn’t deny that SOMEthing was still there. Whether it was love or just energy, I didn’t know. As cool as it was, it also sometimes felt like torture. I finally decided I needed to ask my Akashic Records about it. This is how the session went on Sunday, January 24, 2010:

Where does the energy come from that creates the synchronicities that remind me of my twin flame when I’m dating or with someone else?

The energy comes from her and your connection to her. It is sparked by thought — jealousy, rage, the desire for power and control. When your twin flame thinks of you with someone else, she wants you to remember her. To think ONLY of HER. She sends out thought patterns that create the synchronicities. It’s a form of psychic vampire-ness. When you are with someone else, it is more prevalent because the thoughts of you with someone else are torturing her mind. When you are not with someone, she relaxes and the patterns slow, so it is just telepathy you share.

So she creates these things with her mind alone?

Yes.

What are the things I am seeing and hearing — are they really taking place, or are they holograms?

Holograms? No. These things actually manifest. If they were holograms, your friends would not be able to see them.

How does my twin flame actually have the power to manifest these things into reality?

She is powerful. She will get what she wants. That is not to say she goes about it in the right or appropriate way. She has tons of magic up her sleeve. This is why she gets the women and keeps them attracted to her. She is enjoying the power trip. This is why you need to stay quiet.

Stay quiet with the telepathy, too?

Not necessarily. The telepathy being exchanged is with her higher self. It is better for you to communicate with her this way than in the physical. Keep her ego out of it. She is on an ego trip when she does these things.

Is she aware that she is doing it?

She is aware of what she wishes, but she can’t possibly know the results.

So, if I were not connected to her, then I would probably not experience the synchronicities?

True. Correct. Your connection to her is not one that can be closed or cut off, however. You are connected by silver cords and gold cords that keep your souls connected, always/forever.

What about the astral travel? Is that real?

Between the two of you? Of course. You’re travelers, and this is something the two of you do well together. It is why she equates to Superman — all the flying dreams she has. They are not dreams. They are actually journeys your souls take together when your astral bodies are free from ego. But this is why she identifies with Superman. The flying. The two of you have been doing this together for many, many eons — in and out of physical incarnation. It is what you will do together when you reunite, too. In many aspects, your souls will “fly.”

Why can I not feel her as strongly or see her astral body like I used to?

Her energy has been weakened by stress, prescription pain medications and sleep aids. They’re weighing her down. It will change when you’re back together. Healing will take place and medications will no longer be needed.

How can I believe in the telepathic messages she sends me when she says one thing and shows another?

You are connected to her higher self. The lower self is the one who is doing the opposite of what her higher self is saying to you.

Will they ever merge and be the same person?

Yes, of course. This is what you’re all striving for. It’s in that final lesson she will learn from the spell-caster’s descendent that she will find her higher self. You have no reason to doubt or be disappointed.

How will I ever be able to date or have a relationship with anyone without my twin flame’s energy interfering?

Why would you want to when you love her? When your heart is WITH HER?

Because I’m still not sure WHEN she’ll come around.

She’ll come around soon enough that you don’t need to worry about dating anyone else.

But I’m lonely.

How? She is right there, always a breath away. Just a heartbeat away. You will notice when she’s there with you. You hear a double heartbeat. That is her. Right there with you. There is no reason to doubt. She’s always been there. Even before you knew her or she knew you in this life. You are twin soul mates. It is like you are sharing the same womb.

So it is okay for me to continue assuring her I love her?

Absolutely! That’s what we mean by “holding the light.” She comes to you because she is seeking to be with you.

Even though she’s with someone else?

Yes. We told you. This woman she is with is nothing. Not a threat. Just a pawn. Your twin flame’s lower and higher selves both want you. That is their common bond. Her energy will never leave you. Not even in death. She wants to be with you. She tells you that over and over again. Do us ALL a favor and BELIEVE her. She travels to you every night to be with you — even when she is laying next to that other woman. Her heart is with YOU. Her soul is with YOU. Her BODY is misplaced at the moment, but will soon follow her heart and soul. No worries. When the time is right, she will return.

I have more questions about the synchronicities she manifests into reality. Is she literally thinking, “Make her see a car like mine,” or “Play this song on the radio now?” Is that how it works?

No. Not exactly. She might picture something in her mind, like driving past you. Or she may be thinking of a song that she wants you to hear, or even just thinking of a song that reminds her how she feels about you or the situation, and then it will play for you.

Resistance is futile.

Although part of me wants to chalk all this up to coincidence or “just my imagination,” the simple truth of the matter is that it’s not. All of this is really happening, and still happening, on a very regular basis. As much as I would like to walk away from it all, and just start a brand new life in a new town where no one knows me at all, I know in my heart the efforts would not change anything. This is why I choose to believe…and trust…and continue to have faith that one day we will be together again. Until then, the situation just really sucks. Well, for me anyway. Especially with all the games being played by manipulative souls who haven’t a clue what they’re dealing with. I know my lesson to learn is to not let ego freak out about these games, but, of course, being human in 3D density makes that a bit difficult 99 percent of the time. I suppose the day that I can observe another attempt by a dark soul to keep us apart and not react to it or worry about it will be the day that I graduate — in faith — to the next level. Believe me, I am looking forward to that day.

Nothing is as mesmerizing as a dramatic love affair. Writers have been captivating our attention with romantic tragedies, dramas, and comedies for centuries now. Whether it’s a romance novel, a stage show, a movie, an ET snippet, a National Enquirer exclusive, a reality television show, or a facebook honeymoon, we are captivated by it in one sense or another.

We’re all familiar with the most famous love tragedy — Romeo and Juliet — the story of two lovers willing to sacrifice everything for each other. And then there is the modern-day love tragedy — The Facebook Honeymoon — the reality of two lovers who are ❤ in a relationship ❤ and it’s…destined to FAIL, FAIL, FAIL!

Tell-tale sign number one the relationship is destined to FAIL:

The “it’s complicated” option.

Aren’t you just embarrassed for people who stake this claim? It’s like, ummm…wow…good luck with that!

Seriously…how can you be hopeful for something like that? If Internet love tragedies annoy you, HIDE THIS PERSON NOW!!!

But aren’t you still curious about what makes it “complicated?” You start to wonder…okay…which one of them is married or “not quite divorced” yet? Or you wonder, which one of them is confused about their sexuality? Or, better yet, which one is “in love,” and which one is “just along for the ride?” Or even more blatantly honest, which one is in it just to make someone else jealous?

Mm hmm, you know the kind. You’ve seen the status headlines. Which brings us to tell-tale sign number two that the relationship is destined to FAIL: The super-happy “we’re SO in love” claims!

Okay, so some people ARE truly in love (or one of them is, anyway)…for now…and they want to shout it to the rooftops. Once or twice. Maybe three times will suffice. But then there are those who just keep shouting it…over…and over…and OVER!!!!!

This is usually the person who is really NOT in love, but claiming to be, in order to make someone ELSE (who is NOT in the “relationship”) jealous. It could be an ex. It could be someone who previously rejected them. Or it could be someone the claimant is trying to attract. Whomever it is, s/he is most likely not even paying attention, thus the obsession for repetition.

Most modest folks, who are truly in love (and sweetly mention it on occasion — like an anniversary) live by this simple creed from Corinthians (1 Corinthians 13:5-8a and 13[NIV]):

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

While on the subject of boastful claims, let’s move on to tell-tale sign number three the relationship is destined to FAIL: claims of “forever.”

Yep, they’ve known each other for three months (or less) and they are already using the F word. Let’s see if they are STILL staking that claim after one full year of dating or living together.

Again, love is PATIENT and it does NOT BOAST, and it is NOT PROUD.

Ohh, and while on the subject of pride, here we go! Tell-tale sign number four the relationship will FAIL: the phony-smile “happy couple” photo.

You’ve seen them. You’ve laughed at them. Both of them look like they just swallowed a turd and are pretending they enjoyed it.

A picture is worth a thousand words…or just one: FAIL!

What is more amusing are the phony comments of encouragement underneath the photos from friends who can see the obvious, but still write, “so happy for you both!” or “you make such a great couple.” And then there are the comments these couples write themselves underneath the photos to try to convince everyone “we are SO VERY HAPPY!”

Bwahaha! Mm kay. FAIL!

Annnd, since we’re talking about revealing photos, let’s segue into tell-tale sign number five the relationship will FAIL: the awkward kissing photo.

You’ve seen these photos, too, and you’ve had more romantic ones taken with your furry four-legged friend. These people either look like they are kissing their sibling at best, or trying to extract a lung with their tongues.

Aww! No one comments on this photo because it is just too embarrassing. FAIL!

Let’s just cut to the chase…tell-tale sign number six this relationship will FAIL: the overly obvious trying-too-hard-to-convince-everyone pet names (adjectives + noun) in their status headlines.

“So in love with my super hot sexxxy WIFE!” (who she’s not even married to because state law prohibits same sex-marriage.)

Oh em gee! Enough said. Especially when the “super hot sexxxy wife” doesn’t comment. Which brings us to our seventh and final tell-tale sign that this relationship is OVER: failure (or refusal, perhaps) to acknowledge.

The showboater in the relationship (the one obsessively throwing out all the “convincing” headlines and making their “happy couple” pictures her default photo) consistently comments on the other’s status headlines with “love yous,” and the other CONSISTENTLY doesn’t respond. For MONTHS. And his/her default photo is NEVER one of the “happy couple” pictures. Ruh roh.

Facebook Honeymoon FAIL. Relationship…BEYOND complicated. GAME OVER.

Thanks for playing, and to you at home…thanks for WATCHING!

In summary, facebook needs to add a few more options to the “in a relationship” status. Here are some suggestions:

“in a fake relationship to make someone else jealous.”

“in a destined-to-fail relationship out of sheer desperation.”

“in a forced relationship to escape the ex’s pleas to reunite.”

Let’s face it. Some people just cannot be alone. A relationship is what defines them — or how they define themselves.

If you’re single and tempted to jump into a relationship because you feel lost and alone, or you’re trying to prove to someone else that you can “get some,” just remember:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Hold out for TRUE love, people, because these fake relationships are undeniably tacky, and they are SO transparent!