Patrick Layton Paulsen (July 6, 1927 – April 24, 1997) was an American comedian and satirist notable for his roles on several of the Smothers Brothers television shows, and for his satirical campaigns for President of the United States between 1968 and 1996, although his campaigns generated some protest votes for him.

Paulsen joined the Marines Corps after high school, when World War II was still being waged, but it ended before he was shipped overseas. However, he did experience overseas duty, including guarding captured Japanese soldiers during their repatriation.[1] He returned home after the war and worked as a posting clerk, a truck driver, a hod carrier, a Fuller Brush salesman, and a gypsum miner. Later, he was employed as a photostat operator for several years. He attended San Francisco City College, then joined an acting group called "The Ric-y-tic Players," and he formed a comedy trio that included his brother Lorin.

Paulsen developed a solo act, appearing as a comedic guitarist in various clubs on the West Coast and in New York City. He met the Smothers Brothers during an appearance in San Francisco. The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour premiered in 1967, and Paulsen said that he was hired because he sold them inexpensive songs and would run errands. At first, he was cast as their editorialist, but his deadpan, double-talk comments on the issues of the day propelled him into the national spotlight. His work on The Smothers Brothers' Comedy Hour earned him an Emmy Award in 1968.[3]

In 1971, Paulsen performed in the play Play It Again, Sam at Cherry County Playhouse in Traverse City, Michigan. He enjoyed this professional summer-stock theater so much that he became business partners in 1976 with television writer and producer Neil Rosen and bought Cherry County Playhouse. He starred in a production every summer except 1973, all the way through the 1995 season. He starred in 24 different plays, including The Fantasticks, The Odd Couple, Harvey, and The Sunshine Boys. He appeared in nightclubs, theaters, and conventions throughout the country. In 1984, he co-starred in the film Night Patrol, a vehicle for The Unknown Comic.

The Smothers Brothers approached Paulsen with the idea of running for president in 1968. His campaign in 1968 and succeeding years was grounded in comedy, although not without serious commentary. He ran the supposed campaigns using obvious lies, double talk, and tongue-in-cheek attacks on the major candidates, and he responded to all criticism with his catchphrase "Picky, picky, picky." His campaign slogan was "Just a common, ordinary, simple savior of America's destiny". He gave essentially the same answer to every question on social issues: "To get to the meat of the matter, I will come right to the point, and take note of the fact that the heart of the issue in the final analysis escapes me."[4]

Paulsen's name appeared on the ballot in New Hampshire for the Democratic primary several times. In 1996, he received 921 votes (one percent) to finish second to President Bill Clinton (76,754 votes); this was actually ahead of real politicians such as Buffalo mayor James D. Griffin. In 1992, he came in second to George Bush in the North Dakota Republican primary. In the 1992 Republican Party primaries, he received 10,984 votes total.

In 1971, Paulsen and his wife opened Pat Paulsen Vineyards, a vineyard and winemaking operation in Sonoma County, California.[5]Clint Eastwood had recently won election as mayor of Carmel, California, so Paulsen proclaimed himself "mayor of Asti", the small town near his vineyard and an office which he invented.[6]

In the 1980s, Paulsen began a relationship with social worker Linda Chaney whom he met at a Denver comedy club. She began serving as his booking agent, and the two were married in 1988. However, he learned that she was diverting his funds into her own personal accounts, and he filed for divorce after only 40 days. He later sued her and was awarded a judgment of $233,000, but Chaney said that, even if she had the money, she would rather "go out and shred it rather than turn it over" to Paulsen.[7]

In 1995, Paulsen was diagnosed with colon cancer, and doctors discovered that the cancer had spread to his brain and lymph nodes in 1997.[8] He sought alternative medicine treatment for his cancer in Tijuana, Mexico, and died there from complications of pneumonia and kidney failure on April 24, 1997.[3]

You have two cows

"You have two cows" is a form of political satire on various political, economic, etc. systems. The setup of a typical joke of this kind
is the assumption that you live within a given system and you have two cows. The punch line is what happens to you and the cows in this system.

Rob Reiner

Robert Reiner is an American actor and filmmaker. As an actor, Reiner first came to national prominence with the role of Michael Stivic on All in the Family (1971–1979), a role that earned him two Emmy Awards during the 1970s. As a director, Reiner was recognized by the Directors Guild of America (DGA) with nominations for the coming of age drama film Stand by Me (1986), the romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally... (1989), and the military courtroom drama A Few Good Men (1992). He also directed the psychological horror-thriller Misery (1990), the romantic comedy fantasy adventure The Princess Bride (1987), and the heavy metal mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap (1984).

Peter Tork

Peter Halsten Thorkelson, better known as Peter Tork, was an American musician, composer and actor, best known as the keyboardist and bass guitarist of The Monkees.

Smothers Brothers

The Smothers Brothers are Thomas and Richard, American folk singers, musicians, and comedians. The brothers' trademark double act was performing folk songs, which usually led to arguments between the siblings. Tommy's signature line was, "Mom always liked you best!" Tommy acted "slow", and Dick, the straight man, acted "superior".

Tom Smothers

Thomas Bolyn Smothers III is an American comedian, composer and musician, best known as half of the musical comedy duo the Smothers Brothers, alongside his younger brother Dick.

Lon Chaney Jr.

Creighton Tull Chaney, known by his stage name Lon Chaney Jr., was an American actor known for playing Larry Talbot in the film The Wolf Man (1941) and its various crossovers, Count Alucard, Frankenstein's monster in The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942), the Mummy in three pictures, and various other roles in many Universal horror films. He also portrayed Lennie Small in Of Mice and Men (1939) and supporting parts in dozens of mainstream movies. Originally referenced in films as Creighton Chaney, he was later credited as "Lon Chaney, Jr." in 1935, and after Man Made Monster (1941), beginning as early as The Wolf Man later that same year, he was almost always billed under his more famous father's name as Lon Chaney. Chaney had English, French, and Irish ancestry, and his career in movies and television spanned four decades, from 1931 to 1971.

The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour

The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour was an American comedy and variety show television series hosted by the Smothers Brothers and initially airing on CBS from 1967 to 1969.

Jesse M. Unruh

Jesse Marvin Unruh, also known as Big Daddy Unruh, was an American Democratic politician and the California State Treasurer.

Bonnie Franklin

Bonnie Gail Franklin was an American actress, known for her leading role in the television series One Day at a Time (1975–1984). She was nominated for Emmy, Tony and Golden Globe Awards.

Mason Williams

Mason Douglas Williams is an American classical guitarist, composer, writer, comedian, and poet, best known for his 1968 instrumental "Classical Gas" and for his work as a comedy writer on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour, and Saturday Night Live.

Carl Gottlieb

Carl Gottlieb is an American screenwriter, actor, comedian and executive. He is probably best known for co-writing the screenplay for Jaws and its first two sequels, as well as directing the 1981 film Caveman.

1992 Republican Party presidential primaries

The 1992 Republican presidential primaries were the selection process by which voters of the Republican Party chose its nominee for President of the United States in the 1992 U.S. presidential election. Incumbent President George H. W. Bush was again selected as the nominee through a series of primary elections and caucuses culminating in the 1992 Republican National Convention held from August 17 to August 20, 1992, in Houston, Texas.