Restore…

I read about this ‘one word’ idea recently here, and as I was reading some of the comments, my mind started to take notes… Clear: clear away the clutter, clear away the obstacles… Unstuck: get unstuck from this rut, get unstuck from these four walls… Restore: restore my body, restore balance to my life… I decided to write these words down and think about them throughout the day, that was a few days ago.

I added the phrase, Let it Go… it’s been raining lately – like A LOT, at least in Southern California terms. My dog absolutely HATES water, she wants nothing to do with it, which causes a problem for getting her to go out and do her business when it’s raining. After having a frustrating walk in the morning where I constantly told her, “go potty” until she peed so we could get out of the rain, she was not having it for the second walk of the day and it became a struggle to get her to go outside at all. Even though the rain had stopped, it ‘sounded’ like rain with the water running off the rooftops and down the gutters, and the ground was full of puddles. After looking in her eyes, I decided it wasn’t worth it to ‘make’ her go out… it was hurting our relationship, her trust in me, and ruining the day for both of us. I decided to Let it Go, and if she had an accident, I would just clean it up and move on. After all, my anxieties and fears couldn’t be ‘made’ to go away either, how could I expect hers to be? Later that evening, she actually led us on a long walk around the complex, the rain had stopped, the gutters were no longer making ‘rain sounds’, and the ground was drier and had less puddles, and she took care of all her business… so I changed ‘Let it Go’ to Let Her Lead. I’ve been letting her lead for the last few days, and it has made a big difference, she is a happier puppy (even though it has been raining for days) and I’m happier too.

Yesterday, I was looking over a list I created just before the new year of things I want to accomplish daily that have been a struggle to get done, but I felt they would lead to a happier existence:

Daily yoga

Daily shower

More fresh air with pup

Art more

Read more

No dirty dishes left at end of day

Bed by 9pm

You might think that these items are easily accomplished each day, but sadly they are not. Especially lately… the holiday season brings out a change in me that gets a little worse each year… as the people ‘out there’ get more full of holiday spirit (read: aggressive), I get more reclusive. I find myself wanting to avoid people all together, and I become more of a hermit, I only go out when required, like dogwalks and groceries… but other than that, I hide. And since my husband and I don’t exchange gifts (we get things throughout the year as we want/need them), I don’t have to get out in the holiday shopping crowds which is great since that is pure horror for me.

So I created this list of things I’d like to do daily, and yoga is one that just wasn’t getting checked off at all and I wanted to change that. Normally I like to do yoga before the day starts, it’s even better if the sun is rising while I do yoga, it really makes it more special for me, but I’ve been sleeping in until 8 am and the sun has been up for over an hour, and then I feel like I just don’t have time.

Yesterday, around 2:30 in the afternoon, I decided to just forget about the time of day and just do it… it was a great home session, where I realized that a lot of my aches and pains could be eased by more yoga. I just don’t have the flexibility that I had a year ago and it kind of freaked me out and made me realize that Restore might be my word this year. Restore balance in my life, restore my body, restore my diet to more home cooking, restore my house to less cluttered/more organized, restore my daily habits, restore my ability to go outside more and take photos.

After my yoga session, I took that daily shower… yes at 4 pm… in the shower I tend to think, and after yoga it’s more like meditation. I was thinking about creating a tangle that used the letters RESTORE and how that would be fun and relaxing… and then I thought about how whenever I start some activity to better myself I tend to get bored after about 3 weeks and then drop it… like counting calories, or ‘making’ myself walk/jog, or doing mental ‘games’ from Peak or Luminosity… because it is more of a chore than something I want to do. Then I thought about the things that I stop doing because I tell myself that I don’t have time… like yoga, home cooking, drawing, reading, or taking photos… things that I actually miss doing and always feel better after having taken the time. And that’s when I realized that perhaps my word/phrase should be Make Time: make time to do yoga, make time to draw, make time to get out and take photos, make time to shower daily, make time to do the things that make me feel good, make time for me.

I made the time to draw this tangle out of the letters in RESTORE, on a plain white envelope, these are the patterns I chose: