A little of this, a little of that

But seriously, sometimes it’s hard

You know that phrase that is sometimes used to describe mothering little ones – “in the trenches” ? Yeah, I don’t like it at all. This is not war. I’m not hiding out in a mud pit, waiting to attack the enemy. I may be hiding in my closet with a bag of Pecan Sandies, hoping my kids don’t find me, but that is not even close to a fair comparison.

I think that phrase is overused in regards to motherhood because it’s dramatic. We want people to sympathize with us that it is JUST SO HARD. We could all sit around and share stories of grit, endurance, tantrums, and poo. Lack of sleep, sanity, privacy, a hot meal, and adults can turn even the most polished woman into bride of Frankenstein.

But you guys, this is not sorrow. This is life.

We know sorrow. How it looks, how it feels. How it sometimes hides out and then comes back when you thought it gone forever. Those who mourn children lost. Parents lost. Spouses lost. Broken relationships. Abandoned families. Abandoned babies. Gripping sickness. War, and all that goes with it. The list goes on.

Is this a classic, “If we all threw our problems into a pile, and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back” sort of tale? I don’t know. But on days like today when I’m scrubbing vomit out of carseats, and staring at my whining kids, my tears just don’t stop. Not because I’m frustrated or upset or experiencing sorrow. Not because this is SO HARD (which I’m not negating the fact that this stage is SO HARD). But because I am overwhelmed by knowing that God has chosen me to be right here, right now. (And sometimes I’m like, but seriously, I don’t like this task, no way). And that He’s using every circumstance to draw me to Himself. That I can’t stop, won’t stop, with the nurturing and loving, even when it feels hard. Thankful that He’s reigning and ruling, and that I’m not. Right now He’s given me this task, and I am thankful. I don’t know what He’s got for me tomorrow, or next year, but today, this is it. And He’s promised to be with me.

Whatever the task, whatever the day – being mindful that He’s chosen it and chosen me.