Misery tilted his head back, his deep brown eyes connecting with his lovers."I do. But dont take it hard." He paused, lacing their fingers together. "You dont wanna hear this, but I do love you so I guess I gotta be honest. I dont feel complete without him with me...." Misery clutched Carter's hand, his other coming to rest on his hollow stomach. "I dont want you to be mad, but I understand if you are." He continued. "You know my stomach scars? The one i hate the most?"The one just just below his naval."It wasnt really Trever's fault. I think their is a reason why I feel to attached to Cove, but its dumb. Im probaby just babbling."He doubted Carter would bother asking anymore, the man probably didnt want to know. And he could admit he was just trying to tell Carter all he could. He wanted his lover to know everything.

"Well...Up until I was seven I lived with Rhett full time. I was sold around but nothing like the crap Trever did. And when I was seven Rhett and Trever left me and Angel alone in Trever's house. I think they went to see Barry, I dont know. But they left me with Cove because I took care of him. He was only a new born." Misery shrugged, tracing the scar, a forlorn look gracing his features. "They were gone, and we were alone. I had fallen asleep, but I woke up because I felt like something was wrong...And there was a man there. He was standing like...right there and he was reaching into the crib for Cove and I just...I jumped. I couldnt let him get Cove." Misery sighed softly, glancing up to Carter with one of the most passive gazes ever. "I remember, I hit him in his balls, and I snatched Cove. I tried to run but the man was huge, I was seven" He said it as though he could take him now. "He got me down and I knew I wasnt going to be going anywhere...Angel was under a table, scared outta his mind. I begged and begged him to get Cove, get him and take him somewhere, and finally he did. Angel scooped him up and ran." Misery swallowed thickly. "Of course the man did what he wanted with me." He didnt go into details, his skin crawling as he remembered the mans hands on his body. "But anyways, Rhett and Trever came back. I was on the floor, I couldnt say anything because the dude had broken my jaw. He told Rhett I had been trying to molest Cove when he came into the come to get his wallet. Said he saved Rhett's son and made sure I learned a lesson. Said Angel took Cove an ran like Angel was going to hurt him or something." Misery snorted at the thought of Angel hurting anything. "After Angel came back with Cove, Rhett thanked the man and had Trever pay him. " The boys jaw clenched. "He had Trever take Cove and leave the room...." He once more locked eyes with Carter, a twisted laugh escaping his throat. "Rhett beat me until I couldnt see. I couldnt hear. Blood was everywhere. I was dying then, from bloodloss and what not. But that wasnt enough, I had tried to hurt Cove in his mind so he had to make me pay..." He moved, palms of his hands pressing hard into his eyes. "He took a knife and he stabbed me in my stomach, over and over again until I was just...I was gone. I had never died before that, and I had been so scared." He truly had, Rhett had cared for him his whole life and now he was taking that life away. "When I woke up, Trever was there. I remember everything was white, and Trever looked so grim. I couldnt move my jaw but I was so scared. I had to tell Trever, I didnt want him to hurt me too. I said I didnt do it. He told me he knew, Angel told him. That was the very first time I experienced such emptiness..." He trailed off. "Trever had removed my lower intestine, anything Rhett had ruined beyond help. He made something, I dont know what it was, maybe a steal tube he put inside me to function my bowels and what not. He asked Rhett what to do with me, Rhett didnt care so he kept me."The boys jaw clenched. "If not for this, I wouldnt have half the problems I do." Of course Trever experimented on him while he was in the mans care. If Rhett would have believed him he wouldnt have gone through it all..."Three years went by. I had this numb, emptiness always. No matter what. I just...I diidnt care about anything. Infact I hated it all. Life just...had no meaning...Then Rhett came over and brought Cove with him. He was three." Misery clawed at his hoodie. "He immediately kissed my cheek, and I hugged him and I felt whole...For the first time since it happened I felt...I was happy. I felt like I was me again..." The boy grit his teeth. "Cove had remembered me...." It meant the world to him. "Trever told Rhett the truth...Rhett wanted me home so I went home...And since then...Cove surrounded me, all the time. I was never without him, so I thrived. He filled up the hole Rhett left." Misery finally shrugged, squeezing Carter's hand.

Misery gave a hollow laugh, one that bounced off the walls and found the boy once more."I dont...I dont think its a good thing to see him. He is slowly breaking me down into a pitiful excuse for a person and its driving me insane! I dont want to be dependent on him like I am. I dont want to depend on you like I do. I dont want to look at Leon and hate him because he has Cove like I couldnt have. I hate looking at you and feeling like you dont know just what you mean to me. Im tired of actually looking to him for help. I know he means well but...God he just...He....I will NEVER be able to just forget what he said to be and it burns me down. And I will not be able to look at you, and know that I have done good by you! I hate that I hurt you and I hate that I cant stop it, I hate that I cant make him not hurt either. I just hate life sometimes." The boy concluded with an irritable huff, crossing his arms over his chest.

Misery just rolled his eyes, the moment gone as he kicked back, standing and traveling to the kitchen. He was almost completely gone before he spoke just over his shoulder."I let Cove go when you asked. I could have let you go and pursued him. I didnt. This doesnt mean I dont love Cove, because I do from the bottom of my heart. But me and Cove arent meant to be, I see that now. You...Your meant to be with me, I know it. Im not the best lover, and im going to hurt you, your going to hurt me. But I wont ever be able to let you go. I wont ever let Cove go completely either, but im trying so I can give you more of me...All of me." He nodded, satisfied with his answer as he plodded on into the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah. Dont get used to me being a nice person." He stuck his tongue out as he ransacked the kitchen. "And you havent picked me up anymore snacks!" He whined accusingly at his lover, crossing his arms as he leaned into Carter. "Your abusing me."