A few thoughts and experiences on being a British born Chinese mum; the trials and tribulations of bringing up my girls generally, and for them to appreciate and embrace the Chinese half of their heritage ... And if you have a spare moment, why not read my biographies, they are updated on a regular basis...

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Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Help! I've bred a liar and cheat!!

I have always hoped that my husband and I would be good parents, teaching our children good manners and good behaviour. But it appears that our efforts have been in vain as our first born has become increasingly trying in both her attitude towards us and her general behaviour.

I have always instilled in her the respect that she must show towards her peers and her elders and that she must always behave in the proper manner within the laws of our household and the law of the country.

Unfortunately she has taken to lying recently and I am not a happy mummy! Fortunately I know when she is lying because she cannot lie to save her life (similarly she cannot keep quiet or stay still if her life depended on it). There are certain tell-tale/giveaway signs that she displays when lying, primarily the cheesy grin. However, sometimes she does manage to hide this and I know when she is lying when she can't look me straight in the eyes during a confrontation.

A few days ago, in the evening, she was eating some fruit crumble with chocolate ice-cream which she chose to eat on the floor in front of the television. I saw her reach for a tissue and then proceed to wipe the floor. I did not take much notice because I was busy with other things at the time and never thought any more of it. The next morning I saw two dark brown patches in the floor and imprints of rings on the carpet which were from the bottom of the bowl she was using the night before. I therefore asked her is she had spilt ice-cream there when she was eating the fruit crumble. She flatly denied it and proceeded to blame her 2yr old sister, who was actually in bed when the incident occurred, nor had she been sitting in that spot that morning to make the marks, and more significantly, she had not been eating chocolate ice-cream or anything remotely brown that morning! Still my elder daughter flatly denied it was her.

Then later that day my husband had left some money on the kitchen counter for me, some of which was loose change. My elder daughter had spotted the money and proceeded to count them. Always thinking the worst of her, I had a guess at what she might be doing but hoped that I was wrong. She then left the kitchen to use the toilet. I saw her come out and could tell that she was hiding something in her hand. I told her straight that she had taken money from the kitchen and to put it back. She denied it with a grin on her face, skipped past me and went to the living room to carry on watching television.

At that point I was so mad and exasperated that she could even dare to lie to me, and twice in one day, and steal from me as well! I got the garden cane I kept in the kitchen and marched up to her threatening to use it harshly on her of she did not return the money. With a sorry look on her face she raced back into the kitchen to return the money.

How is it that she she could even contemplate doing such evil in the first place. What have I done wrong to deserve a child like this? She thought it was funny but I saw it as a serious misdemeanor, because if she can dare to do such naughty things at such a young age I dread to think what she might dare to do when she's older! I do not want a criminal on my hands to deal with in the future and hope that it is a passing phase that she will grow out of.

Sometimes I do wish I never had her in the first place and hate her with such a passion I cannot even bring myself to give her a kiss and a cuddle. One of my faults is that I cannot forgive easily and always remember the wrongs that have been done to me. Unfortunately my daughter has lied to me and misbehaved so many times that I find it hard to believe that she can even be good for a second. I must have done something very bad in my previous life to suffer under my child in this!

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About Me

I am married with 2 beautiful girls 5 years apart. I am Chinese, was born and brought up in this country but never spoke English until I went to school. I hope that my children will one day be able to speak Cantonese too