Preface: What's happened before: Akane got her hands on a wish
and used it to wish her mother had never been in a car accident
and was alive in the present. Well, her mother wasn't in an accident,
and is with them in the present, there's only the slight complications
that she's there at the ripe old age of seventeen…

Chapter 2

Kachiko Tendou awoke with both a start and a splitting headache.
'Splitting' in the sense that she would gladly have split her head
open and removed her brain if it would have brought any form of
relief.

Summoning enough willpower to actualize moving rather than just
conceptualizing it in her mind, Kachiko groggily rose from her bed
and found herself confronted with the choice of exiting via the
door or window. The window offered the option of quickly removing
the headache by plummeting headfirst into the ground like a giant
lawn dart. But the dream she had last night, the one in which she
was told she had met a grisly demise at the age of thirty courtesy
of a semi, made thinking of anything remotely related to dying distasteful.
Perhaps the elaborate dream had been her subconscious warning her
of what the future could hold should she not tread carefully, or
at least not look both ways before crossing a street.

"Never again." That the words were whispered did nothing
to decrease the needles of pain that reverberated in her skull.
There had to be aspirin downstairs to relieve the headache, or barring
that, some of the hair of the dog that bit her to take the edge
off the ache.

Finally, she summoned enough energy to actually move her body out
of the bed and stood up. Employing her razor-honed abilities of
concentration, she managed the difficult task of coordinating the
movement of her feet so that she could walk in, if not a straight
line, at least a path that took her in the general direction of
the door. She shuffled forward, making a mental note to beat out
her rug later. It was lumpy and produced a sharp 'woof' of air when
she stepped on it.

Further sounds of movement came from behind Kachiko, making her
pause on her unexpectedly arduous journey to leave the room. "Please
tell me that was a really large mouse I just stepped on." A
lump rose in her throat, along with a hefty portion of bile from
her stomach, as she turned and beheld a sight she most assuredly
did not want to see.

Akane Tendou rose from where she had been sleeping on the floor
and gave her mother a hesitant, "Hello."

There was one last chance. Kachiko stepped forward and raised her
hand. She brought it forward and cradled Akane's chin softly. Her
fingertips gently traced a path from chin to cheek, caressing the
flesh so delicately it was like a touch of the wind rather than
the hand of a human being.

The move struck a familiar chord within Akane. The gesture was
identical to when she was a little girl and had hurt herself falling
down a hill or scraping her knee trying to match her father's moves
when he taught her martial arts. A surge of emotion roiled through
her entire being, eliciting an affection she had not known in years.
Water began to fill her eyes as she opened her mouth and found herself
saying, "OW!"

Kachiko stopped pinching the cheek and slammed her fist into her
palm. "#$%^! That proves this isn't a dream. That means that
whole time travel crap really did happen."

Rubbing her reddened cheek, Akane snapped, "You're supposed
to pinch yourself, not someone else, to prove if something is a
dream!"

"Don't be ridiculous. That would hurt. This way is much better
and just as conclusive."

"Exactly how does pinching me prove you aren't dreaming?"

"Your scream of pain would have awakened me if it was a dream,"
Kachiko explained.

Akane couldn't argue with the logic of that, largely in part because
she was uncertain if any was actually involved.

Leaving her youngest daughter confused in the middle of the room,
Kachiko headed for the door once again. She paused as she finally
noticed the rather large, vaguely humanoid, shaped hole in the wall
to the right of it. Curious, she opened the door and looked out
in the hallway.

There — lying in a heap at the base of the wall opposite the
hole — was Soun Tendou. It took Kachiko a moment to recall
exactly what he was doing there, besides lying motionless. Twice
during the night the elderly pervert had broken into her bedroom
crying her name and attempted to molest her. Each time she had sent
him away courtesy of the often used — and highly effective
— 'Hentai-Crusher' backfist, able to render perverts immobile
in a single assault while preventing them from laying a single lecherous
digit on her pristine person. She did give the geriatric fossil
credit; he had recovered from the first attack after only a couple
of hours before launching an ill-fated second offensive.

A low moaning issued forth from the heap. Soun unfurled himself
from the folded over position he was curled in and unsteadily rose
to his feet. As his eyes locked onto the girl standing before him,
he wailed, "Kachi-chan!" and rushed forward, arms wide
open to embrace her.

The only thing he managed to embrace was her fist in his face as
she spun in a circle to build up velocity and lashed out, summarily
dispatching him once again. The force of the blow embedded him completely
in the wall this time. Only a series of low moans indicated he was
still alive.

"Resilient old perv," Kachiko commented as she walked
past his twitching form. She continued heading downstairs, even
as Akane's cry of, "Dad!" reached her ears. Kachiko sighed
at that. If her father had been that perverted, there's no way she'd
ever admit to their being related, even under threat of torture.
And the girls' outrageous claim that she would ever marry such a
dirty old man made Kachiko wonder just what drug they thought she
was on that would have made her commit such a stupid act. It was
inconceivable. And since it was inconceivable, she stopped thinking
about it and instead concentrated on getting some breakfast. She
hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday; the whole time travel thing
and finding out she died pretty much ruining her appetite. Besides,
she needed to take an aspirin or twelve to make the pounding in
her skull cease.

Kasumi Tendou had been a busy girl. She had been up all night,
not getting the least bit of sleep, as she pondered the dilemma
that had been presented by yesterday's events. The young woman that
had been delivered to their home did indeed resemble their mother
in appearance, albeit a much younger version of Kachiko Tendou than
anyone had ever imagined. But the time-lost girl's behavior was
inconsistent with the memories Kasumi had of her. Actually, aside
from the fact this youthful version of Kachiko was female and spoke
Japanese, there was no similarity in behavior at all. Obviously
something was wrong. There was the possibility it was merely disorientation
from the time travel that had caused the erratic behavior, but even
after she had been in the present for the majority of the day, Kachiko's
conduct continued to remain bizarre. Almost deranged, in fact. There
had to be some rational explanation for it.

And in a flash of insight it came to her. The answer was quite
simple. After all, hadn't there been a point in Kasumi's own life
where she had acted horribly out of character, perpetrating Loathsome,
Terrible, and Unspeakable Acts upon her family and those around
her? Of course, she hadn't been responsible for her actions, but
she had still engaged in them all the same. And now her mother was
displaying similar behaviors: tying up visitors, committing acts
of violence on her husband, swearing like a sailor, and drinking
like a full fledged alcoholic rather than in controlled quantities
like she used to. The signs all pointed to one thing.

Kachiko Tendou had been possessed by an oni.

Kasumi felt thrilled at the knowledge that her mother would return
to normal shortly. Of course Kasumi couldn't possibly try to bludgeon
her mother in an attempt to exorcise the demon possessing her. At
least not at first. But there were other alternatives. It had taken
her the majority of the night consulting one of the numerous books
Dr. Tofu had loaned her and getting the paper and inscriptions correct,
but after much toil her project was successfully completed. Kasumi
felt satisfied that what she held in her hand was identical to the
pictures shown in the book. Now all that remained was to apply it
to her mother, and then all would be well. Hopefully.

Although Kasumi was prepared for things reverting back to normal
on their own. Hoping that was the case, she had spent what little
time remained before her mother woke up to reverting the kitchen
back to what it was in the days when Kachiko Tendou was still alive.
Over the years, Kasumi had switched things around to suit her own
personal needs and tendencies when cooking. But now she had decided
to try to help her mother return to her old self through less drastic
means if possible, and hoped that seeing the kitchen in its original
form might jog memories on their own.

The sound of footsteps approaching from the upstairs made Kasumi
tense up. They drew closer until Kachiko entered the kitchen.

"What's to eat around here?" she grumbled, yawning and
scratching her breast.

Kasumi smiled blissfully and pointed to the arrangement of cooking
materials that were openly displayed for the young girl's benefit.
"I decided to wait until you showed up so we could cook together,
just like we always used to do."

Kachiko gave the utensils and unprepared foods a flat stare. "Tell
you what, you go ahead and whip something up, and I'll watch. Oh,
and grab me some warm water and a cold beer before you get started.
I'm thirsty."

"Don't you think it's a bit early for that?"

Kachiko considered the question as she sat down at the dining table.
"You're probably right. Better just make it the beer."

Oh dear. The behavior was exactly what Kasumi had been afraid of.
Her mother never passed up the opportunity to cook. Some of their
happiest times together had been spent humming some tune while preparing
a meal for the whole family to gather around and enjoy. But now
she was continuing to act in decidedly non-motherly ways. It was
time to take action, before her poor, confused mother did something
she might truly regret.

Walking over to where her mother was seated, Kasumi bent low and
stuck a piece of paper on the time-lost girl's forehead.

Kachiko stared cross-eyed at the piece of paper dangling in front
of her eyes. "This is some sort of weird napkin, right?"

Shaking her head, Kasumi said, "No, it isn't. It's an ofuda
to drive the oni out and make you feel better and more like yourself.
Do you feel more like yourself?"

Kachiko considered that. "If I say no, what will you do next?"

Kasumi picked up a hammer she had nearby for just such a scenario.
"I can hit you in the head and drive the oni out directly."

Kachiko made certain to leave her unnatural smile right where it
was. How wonderful. One of her 'daughters' was completely deranged.
Best to humor the girl until Kachiko had a chance to call a psychiatric
ward and have this 'Kasumi' institutionalized for her own good,
as well as the time-lost girl's own peace of mind. Kachiko had to
hand it to herself. Not a mother for a day, and she was already
acting like a parent, protecting both herself and the other people
living in her home from harm. Perhaps it would be wise to call the
police to take care of the pervert that kept trying to fondle her
as well.

Kachiko was still in the midst deciding how best to subdue Kasumi
when a red and blue blur passed by the open sliding door leading
to the outside.

Ranma shouted, "Nyaa! You can't touch me, Old Man."

A black and white blur raced past, taking a swipe at Ranma, who
deftly evaded the blow.

With one graceful leap she launched herself from the table, out
the door, and into the air, directly aimed at the attacking panda.
Her left foot remained coiled back until it was within striking
distance of the large mammal, at which point she lashed forward
with a kick, shouting, "Ailuropoda Melanoleuca Bloody
Assault!"

The bottom of her foot connected with a resounding thud to the
panda's jaw, knocking the animal to the ground and stunning it.

Ranma stopped leaping backward and said to the girl, "Ah,
wait, that's not—"

Kachiko didn't pause for a second as she grabbed the fallen panda
by the fur and heaved it over her shoulder using a body toss. The
force of the throw, combined with the panda's mass, served to knock
over one of the larger stones next to the koi pond as the furry
mammal impacted solidly with it. The animal landed in the depression
where the bottom of the rock had rested.

"That's not a real… Why is there an ofuda sticking to your
head?" Ranma asked.

"It's so I don't get hit in the head with a hammer,"
Kachiko explained as finished things up by picking up the fallen
boulder and driving it back into its former resting spot. Four paws,
that could barely be seen poking out of the bottom, twitched slightly.

Kachiko dusted her hands off dramatically. "That takes care
of that."

Now irate — at being ignored repeatedly rather than having
his father ending up buried under a boulder — Ranma said, "If
you'd listen to what I had to say, you could have saved yourself
the hassle. That wasn't really a panda. That was my pop."

Kachiko's eyes widened in surprise. "You were raised by pandas?
Oh you poor, poor boy." She began patting him on the head.
"At least you weren't raised by badgers. They're irritable
little things. Only slightly less annoying than weasels."

Ranma darted out of under her grasp. "I didn't say I was raised
by pandas! That was really my father. A magic curse turns him into
a panda."

Kachiko looked Ranma over with a more careful eye. "Now I
see."

"You do?" Ranma was surprised she believed his story
without any firsthand evidence or further elaboration. On the other
hand, she had been magically transported through time, so maybe
accepting the idea of magic curses was easy when compared to that.

Nodding her head, Kachiko said, "Yes. I see that thing must
have been rabid and bit you and now you're suffering from delusions.
Where's the bite? I'll suck the rabies out." She began examining
him with her hands, fondling him in some very sensitive areas of
his body.

"Quit it!" Ranma squirmed out of her reach, much to her
disappointment.

At that moment Nabiki chose to enter the backyard, followed closely
on her heels by Kasumi. "Why is Mr. Saotome buried under a
boulder, dare I ask?"

Kachiko pointed at the boulder. "That horrible panda went
feral and attacked Ranma."

Clapping her hands in glee at the familiar posture, Kasumi said,
"Oh, Mother's about to give a lecture. The magic ward must
be working. She's starting to act normal." Kasumi sat down
and made herself comfortable as her attention was raptly focused
upon her mother.

It took a moment for Kachiko to recover from that one. She turned
back to Ranma, "Where was I?"

"Dangerous pandas," Ranma provided.

"Ah, yes." Kachiko began wagging her finger again. "Pandas
are incredibly dangerous. I can vouch for this from personal experience.
Let me tell you a time several months ago… which was actually
twenty years ago for you guys, when I found out just how terrible
pandas really are. It all started on what was a typical morning.
I was walking to school with Sakura. As was our wont on such days,
we ended up embroiled in an intense discussion on matters of a deeply
philosophical nature…

"…And I'm telling you Speed and Trixie were made for one
another!"

"No way!" Kachiko protested. "Speed's desire to
race superseded everything in his life, including women. They were
together since the series began, but their relationship moved absolutely
nowhere. Hell, the two never even kissed."

"The two of them were just taking things slowly," Sakura
insisted.

"He had no interest in a relationship, at least with her,"
Kachiko scoffed. "And don't give me that Trixie wanted to 'take
things slowly'. She would have parted her legs for him if he asked
from the first episode on."

"Some woman aren't quite as loose with their affections as
you."

"I'm not THAT loose. And I'm telling you, Trixie was just
along for the ride, and I mean that in every sense of the word.
If he had felt anything other than a passing interest in her, things
would have progressed much more quickly. The only reason there were
together at all was that there weren't any other alternatives. She
was the only female regular in the series. If you had waved a couple
of hot, willing gals under Speed's nose you'd have seen how committed
to Trixie he was. Unless he suffered from FS. He seemed like he
might be the type."

Sakura hesitated for a moment before saying, "I know I'm going
to hate myself for asking, but I just have to know. What exactly
is, 'FS'?"

"Fixation Syndrome. I came up with the term myself,"
Kachiko stated proudly.

"I knew it," Sakura sighed.

Unaffected by the her friend's attitude, Kachiko continued in a
tone more suited for a classroom than a walk to school. "Fixation
Syndrome is a condition by which one member of the species, especially
if she's had limited or no contact with members of the opposite
sex, will fixate on the first available romantic interest that comes
around and decides that he's the one she loves no matter what. Reason
and reality take a hike since that person is so fixated on that
one interest that she will ignore any other potential partners that
come along afterwards, never mind if the other men are actually
better suited to her as a romantic partner."

"That's not Fixation Syndrome, you idiot! It's called love
at first sight!" Sakura spat in disgust.

"Ha! There is no such thing as love at first sight. It's lust
at first sight. It's completely based on superficial physical attraction
and nothing more. Oh, sometimes that initial lust will lead to love,
which is why some people trick themselves into believing it was
love all the time, but they're wrong. The first time you lay eyes
on some hot guy and want to bear his children is always the same:
it's purely desire. If you find out afterwards the guy's a major
creep, you tell yourself correctly it was a fleeting attraction,
not love. But if it does work out and you do fall for him then you
tell yourself it was love the whole time. It's a convenient lie
people tell themselves so they don't think they're shallow and that
the initial contact they had with the person they love was based
solely on the urge to get into their lover's underwear rather than
any more noble reasons. True love only comes about after you get
to know someone, and is impossible to determine with a single glance."

"No wonder you never have steady boyfriends with an approach
to life like that." Sakura shook her head in pity. "I
happen to believe in true love. There's someone out there that you
are destined to meet and spend the rest of your life with and nothing
will ever come between your feelings for one another, just like
Speed and Trixie. It's called Fate, and there's nothing you can
do to change it."

"Ha!"

"I knew you'd say that."

Kachiko continued on, as though her friend had said nothing. "Fate
is the excuse of the lazy and stupid. It's the ultimate cop out
in any given situation. It implies there's no such thing as free
will and that life is pointless, since it's going to play out as
it will and you have no effect on it. Think about it. You couldn't
possibly be blamed for anything, since it was always predetermined
that what you did was always going to happen. Case in point."

And with that Kachiko shoved Sakura. The push, while not intended
to hurt, did send Sakura reeling backward several feet away, arms
spinning around like gyrating windmills as she tried to regain her
balance. It was all in vain as she landed on her bottom with an
audible thump.

The fallen girl quickly rose to her feet, the fires of anger in
her eyes.

Kachiko waggled her finger in a warding gesture at Sakura, "Ah,
ah, ah. Can't blame me. It was your fate to get knocked on your
ass by me at that exact moment. There was no other possible outcome,
after all." Kachiko placed her hands in her hips in obvious
satisfaction at believing her point made.

At the same moment, an anvil smashed into the ground right where
Sakura would have been had she continued on her course, shattering
the concrete with a thunderous crash.

A voice called out from an open window high above in the building.
"Tetsuo, I told you to throw the bucket of dirty water out,
not the anvil."

Sakura returned to Kachiko's side, making certain to show her companion
the oversized words she had written on a sheet of notebook paper.
"Speed and Trixie: 2gether 4ever."

"Oh, just shut up," Kachiko grumbled as they resumed
their walk to school.

They hadn't made it more than a couple of blocks when a car horn
beeped behind them. Neither bothered to turn around as they recognized
the owner of the vehicle solely by the sound of the horn.

"I so do not want to deal with this," Kachiko snarled
as the limousine pulled up alongside them.

The motorized hum of the rear passenger window rolling down into
the car reached the girls' ears. Reluctantly, they turned to see
a handsome face with perfectly crafted brown hair stick out of the
window and peer closely at them. "Well, if my eyes don't deceive
me, I have the good fortune to behold two lovely visions of beauty:
the vibrant Kachiko Tendou and the ever-sophisticated Sakura Daisho."

Sakura barely managed to hold Kachiko back and prevent her from
repeating her previous action on Ichiro's limbs. After several moments
of fast-talking, she successfully calmed Kachiko down to the point
where she would not dispatch Ichiro out of hand. Once firmly settled,
the trio began walking to school again, Kachiko certain to keep
one coiled fist aimed in Ichiro's direction.

The rest of the journey passed without incident until the students
arrived at the school. Once they passed through the gates welcoming
them to Furinkan High, they paused and took in the unusual sight
before them. In simplest terms, the front of the schoolyard appeared
to have been converted into an archeological dig, complete with
foreign laborers singing in perfect harmony with one another. Huge
amounts of earth had been upturned and dozens of digging vehicles
continued to burrow ever deeper into the ground.

"Looks like he's at it again," Sakura sighed.

Kachiko looked around until she spotted a familiar figure. He stood
at the center of the site, wearing a familiar pith helmet, and giving
orders to the laborers. The trio approached the youth as he ordered
a crane to scoop out a section of earth nearby, before returning
to some papers on a table set up next to him.

"Gosunkugi, what are you up to now?" Kachiko asked.

The sunken eyes of the emaciated figure turned their attention
from the ancient scrolls. In a sad voice lacking any indication
of hope, Gosunkugi said, "Hello, Kachi. Sakura. Icky."

"Ichiro."

Kachiko tapped her foot impatiently.

Gosunkugi picked up the cue. "I've recently uncovered conclusive
evidence which indicates the ancient — but immortal and incredibly
beautiful — demon Goddess' tomb is buried on the grounds of
a school in the nearby area. I thought this might be it, so I'm
excavating. Dig more to the left," he shouted weakly at some
laborers.

"Gos, Gos, Gos," Kachiko sighed. "Haven't you learned
by now that digging up the ground is no way to get a girlfriend?"

"It is if you're a necrophile," Ichiro pointed out.

Kachiko ignored the comment and went to a nearby sack that was
resting against the table. It made jingling sounds as the plethora
of odds and ends clinked and clacked within. "Look at what
all this digging has got you." She began pulling items out
of the sack and tossing them left and right. "Holy Grails.
Arks of some convent. A crappy old spear that belonged to some putz
named Longinus. Dead Sea scrolls. Necronomicons. Second editions,
mind you. Lemurian Serpent Crowns. A philosopher's stone. Gos, you
hate philosophy." She tossed the stone aside (the item turning
the pile of earth it struck into gold) and pulled out something
that caught her attention. "What's this computer keyboard doing
in here?"

"I found it in a cave in Norway," Gosunkugi explained.
"According to the ancient stone tablet that was found next
to it, it's an ancient interface system for something called Yggdrasil,
the World Tree, which is said to control the world. I haven't tried
it yet since I don't know what it'll do. It's unwise to fool around
with something that might control reality as we know it. "

"That's probably for the best," Kachiko agreed solemnly,
then punched a key.

A stroke of lightning reached down from the heavens and struck
Ichiro.

Kachiko pushed another.

A plague of locusts descended on the fried boy.

A third key was pushed.

Day became night.

Sakura smacked Kachiko in the back of the head. "Turn the
sun back on."

Kachiko pushed a fourth key and light was restored. She stared
at the keyboard, and an insane gleam filled her eyes. "Well
now, it seems I have the power of God in my hands. MUAHA HA HA HA!"

Hesitantly, Gosunkugi said, "Actually, Ichiro has a metal
plate in his skull, we've been having problems with locusts lately,
and there was a solar eclipse scheduled for today."

The fires of megalomania died in Kachiko's eyes. She sighed and
looked mournfully at the keyboard. "So much for omnipotence."
She handed it back to Gosunkugi, who returned it to its proper place
in his sack.

Sakura asked, "Exactly why is it you're on this insane quest
to discover this ancient demon? Generally, people don't want to
consort with them unless they're evil, and you're not."

"Skinny and scary looking, but not evil," Kachiko confirmed.

Gosunkugi said, "I've become convinced that this beautiful
demon goddess is nothing of the kind, but is in fact an artificial
life form created in a magnificent world in another dimension that
traveled here to Japan in ancient times and was buried so that someone
would wake her up in the future. If I'm right, then all I need to
do to make her mine is find her, awaken her, and she'll be loyal
to me and me alone. At the very least she'll owe me big for digging
her out of the ground and reactivating her."

Sakura asked, "But why? And put that box down!"

Kachiko placed the sealed jewelry box, with the name 'Pandora'
etched in gold on the top, back in Gosunkugi's sack. "It fell
out," she explained and began whistling innocently.

Gosunkugi trembled slightly. "You don't understand. I have
to do this. It's my last chance."

"Last chance for what?" Sakura asked.

"My last chance to get a date for the Senior Prom!" Gosunkugi
wailed.

"Oh, gee, Gos, that's still a year away," Kachiko said
in an exasperated tone. "Why are you so worried about it?"

"Because I already asked all the girls and was turned down,"
he sniffled.

Sakura scoffed at that. "Oh come on. Just because you got
turned down by a few girls is no reason to panic."

"I didn't say a few girls. I said all of them."

Kachiko looked at him with a mounting suspicion in her eyes. "When
you say, 'all the girls' you mean everyone in your classes?"

"No. I mean every girl in our high school. Every grade. They
all turned me down," he sobbed.

Sakura laughed. It was that nervous little, 'oh god that's so pitiful
even I feel sorry, but better you than me' laugh people gave. "That
is… sort of bad."

Voice filled with hope, Kachiko said, "Did you try the eighth
graders at the junior high? They'll be freshmen next year and—"

"Yes! They turned me down too," Gosunkugi sobbed.

Kachiko patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "Boy,
that is bad. I'd do anything to help."

Gosunkugi's sobbing was momentarily interrupted. "You'd go
out with me?"

"Gos, when I say 'anything' I don't mean that literally. I
mean it in the sense that I'll help you if it's not inconvenient
for me and I have nothing better to do. But maybe Sakura would…"
she let that trail off as, out of the corner of her eye, she caught
Sakura ferociously shaking her head.

Gosunkugi's shoulders — which were called that due to the
fact that was the place where his arms were attached to his body
rather than from any actual broadness to them — slumped in
abject defeat, which was only slightly lower than the usual slump
they had. "Let's face facts. I should just kill myself and
get it over with. The only way I'm going to get a date is if some
girl that has a thing for skinny, pathetic, guys with no self-esteem
suddenly appears out of nowhere and asks me out."

There was a tapping on Gosunkugi's shoulder. A voice so melodious
voice it could have charmed snakes sang out, "Excuse please."

The quartet turned around. Before them was a vision that could
have come straight out of a Scandinavian legend. The young woman
standing there could have passed for a Valkyrie, save that she bore
neither armor nor a flying horse, or gave any indication of nabbing
someone and taking them to Valhalla. She possessed long, golden
tresses that flowed backward in the air, despite the lack of wind.
High cheekbones highlighted a painfully beautiful face that could
have graced the cover of any magazine. She had long legs with firm
muscle tone, and an ample bust that seemed to defy gravity. The
only thing mundane about her was the school uniform she wore, but
even that only enhanced her tremendous assets, and emphasized the
aura of seduction about her.

"Almost makes you wanna become a lesbian, doesn't it?"
Kachiko said to Sakura.

Her friend nodded in agreement and wiped at the slight bit of drool
that had escaped her mouth.

"Hello, I am to be introducing myself. I am foreign exchange
student from Sweden. My name is Ingrid Torson. I am to be new here
and wish to make friends."

Ichiro was at her side in an instant. He held her hand affectionately
in his. "I'll do better than that. I'll marry you right now."

Ingrid looked away from him and at the others. "This is a,
how do you say…?"

"Lech?" Sakura offered.

The Nordic beauty considered that. "No."

"Jerk?" Gosunkugi said.

Again she shook her head.

Kachiko piped up. "A real !#&*^, that can !%^%, with his
*&^%^?"

Ingrid said, "I am thinking my Japanese is not so good, since
what I think you say cannot be done with that. Not even as double-jointed
as I am, could I be doing it."

"How about 'pervert'?" Sakura ventured.

Ingrid's eyes lit up. "Yes. That is word I look for. Pervert.
Is he?"

"Won the All-Japan Pervert Championship for Sleaziest Pick
Up Line last year," Kachiko confirmed.

"Ah. Good." Ingrid drove her knee straight into the area
between Ichiro's legs. He doubled over in agony and crumpled into
a tiny, mewling heap on the ground.

A plague of locusts descended upon him.

Ingrid walked closer until she was standing next to Gosunkugi,
easily violating what should have been his personal space. She was
forced to look down at him, due to the fact that he only came up
to about chest level on her. She turned a sultry stare upon him
that seemed to ignite the air. "Forgive me for saying and being
forward, but you are reminding me of my ex-boyfriend. I am hoping
that we can be friends. Maybe close friends. Perhaps we go out to
dinner and get to know one another better after school. I pay for
everything, of course."

Shoulders suddenly firming up for the first time in his life, Gosunkugi
turned away, an amused grin on his face. "Well, I don't know.
I have so many women after me, I'm not sure if I can fit you —
Urk!"

Kachiko grabbed the fidgeting youth by the collar and roughly pulled
him aside. She whispered in his ear, "I swear to god if you
try to play hard to get with the blonde bombshell that just came
onto you for one second longer, I will rip off your !#$% and feed
it to Ichiro." She released her hold, but continued burning
holes in him with her stare.

"I'd be more than happy to go out with you," Gosunkugi
informed Ingrid.

"I think I am to be liking this country very much," she
said in obvious delight…

"…and so, the moral of the story is, don't mistake coincidence
for fate. That Ingrid girl showing up and coming onto Gosunkugi
and pulling him out of his suicidal depression isn't an indication
of true love. It took lots of time spent together, going through
hardships and getting to know one another before true love blossomed
and they were married." Kachiko finished her story with flourish
of her hand.

"And how long did that take?" Nabiki asked.

"Err, the end of the week," Kachiko said as though the
words had to be pulled out one at a time. "But it proves nothing,
I tell you. Absolutely nothing! It was luck!"

Ranma said, "What about the panda?"

"What panda?" Kachiko asked.

"The one that the story was supposed to be about. You remember."
In a higher voice that was eerily similar to Kachiko's he said,
"'Yes, pandas are incredibly dangerous. I can vouch for this
from personal experience. Let me tell you a time last month'—"

"Right! Pandas! I was just getting to that part. I was just
pausing the story and catching my breath," Kachiko insisted,
convincing only Kasumi, who continued listening raptly.

Kachiko began again, "Anyway, the panda incident happened
right after Ingrid showed up…"

"Effendi, I have found something," one of the foreign
laborers shouted to Gosunkugi.

The group of students walked over to the pit where the laborer
had been digging. From the bottom of the neck-high pit, the man
held up a pale green metal box. It was plain in appearance, save
for the series of spirit wards taped across where the lid and sealing
it shut. The laborer reached up and handed his discovery to the
nearest person: Kachiko.

"There seems to be an inscription on the lid." Kachiko
traced the intricate lines of the engraving with her finger.

Ichiro's head darted up and he looked towards the school gates.
"Did you guys hear something?"

Everyone else's attention was riveted to the box. Gosunkugi peered
over Kachiko's shoulder and deciphered the ancient symbols. "It
says, 'Whomsoever dares to release the insanely powerful, immortal
Arch-Demon Pandamonious will have their bodies and souls ripped
to shreds in an eternal hell of torment and suffering'."

"It sounds like thunder." Ichiro looked fearful now.

"What do you suppose that could mean?" Kachiko asked.

"The sounds are getting louder and coming closer together."

"It means don't open the box or something terrible will happen
to you when you release the demon that's being held inside,"
Sakura snapped.

"It's definitely drawing near."

Kachiko scoffed. "Nah. These ancient guys never came out and
said stuff. They always left things in vague curses so that if anything
bad happened to you you'd blame it on a curse instead of just plain
bad luck."

"I'll be fleeing… I mean, heading to class now. Bye-bye."

"That's not vague; it's very specific about what's going to
happen if you open the box," Sakura insisted.

Ichiro ceased whining about the now incredibly loud sounds because
he was already gone.

Before Sakura could launch into a proper retort, the source of
the loud booms finally made its presence known as the school gates
were ripped from their fittings in the wall and hurled far away.
"Kachiko Tendou, the day of your doom has finally arrived!"

Everyone looked away from the box.

"Oh, hey, Wakaba! What's shaking?" Kachiko gave a casual
wave of her hand.

"Your doom, stupid! Pay attention when I proclaim the day
of your reckoning!" The girl shouted.

"Who is this?" Ingrid asked of the basically average-looking
girl in a school uniform that was bellowing at Kachiko.

Sakura explained, "A deranged psychotic determined to kill
and humiliate — probably in that order — Kachiko, whom
she considers her eternal nemesis since the day they were born.
Oh yes, she'll also be our classmate."

Kachiko waved dismissively at Sakura and said to Ingrid, "Pay
her no mind. Sakura always takes things way too seriously. That's
just Wacky Wakaba. She's harmless. She's a buddy of mine that likes
pulling pranks."

"And she is always to be coming to school riding the back
of pandas of colossal proportions?"

"No, that's a new one," Kachiko admitted as she saw that
her longtime friend was indeed perched on the back of a titanic-sized
panda. The creature had to be fifteen feet long and weigh close
to six tons. Massive muscles lined its bulky form, and unnaturally
long claws were extended from its paws, digging deep into the ground
and razing earth and stone alike.

Kachiko shouted, "Hey, Wakaba! Where'd you get that big-ass
panda?"

Posturing proudly, Wakaba declared, "I had my insane, genius
uncle create him using genetic reengineering to produce the ultimate
killing machine. It possesses not only the awesome strength of a
bear, but the claws of a hunting cat, the reflexes of a mongoose,
and the viciousness of a wolverine. It will be your downfall, Kachiko
Tendou! WAAA HA HA HA!"

"The disturbed laugh means it's time to go," Sakura informed
Ingrid as she led the new student away by the hand. Gosunkugi and
the foreign laborers evacuated the area as well, content to allow
Kachiko to handle matters.

"So you want me to test out how tough your little bio-weapon
is, huh? Good thinking. I'll put it through its paces!" Kachiko
boasted haughtily.

"I don't want you to test anything! I want you to die!"
Wakaba shouted an order to the mammoth panda to attack.

The beast moved with a speed that belied its form and closed the
distance between itself and the target in the span of less than
a heartbeat. It brought one giant claw downward in an arc towards
Kachiko. She danced backward, the claw only glancing off the box
still in her hands…

…And by merest chance, shearing off the spirit wards sealing
it.

The lid flew open and a vortex of spectral energies poured forth
from the opening. It spouted upward like a geyser, dancing in the
air for a moment, before shifting from shooting upward to arcing
left, like a snake made of light. The energy streamed forward and
struck the panda full in the face. Rather than cascading off it,
or driving the beast back, the energy instead seemed to enter the
animal itself.

Within a handful of moments the entire fountain of energy had found
a home in the panda. Upon closer inspection, Kachiko could see the
eyes of the beast had now taken on an unearthly golden hue, and
the pupils had become vertical slits filled with malice and hate.

"Attack her!" Wakaba insisted.

The animal turned its head in a one hundred and eighty degree circle,
as though its neck was mounted on a swivel. It turned that baleful
glare fully upon the girl that was perched on his back. In a voice
that made the very air itself shake, it bellowed, "NONE
MAY COMMAND THE ELDER DEMON OF PANDAS, THE ALL MIGHTY PANDAMONIOUS,
SAVE FOR THE GREATEST LORD OF HATE HIMSELF!"

The great beast reared up on its hind legs, nearly throwing off
its rider, and roared, "THOSE IDIOTS! NOT ONLY DO THEY HAVE
THE AUDACITY TO IMPRISON ME, BUT THEY GOT MY RANK WRONG AS WELL!
I'D MAKE THEM PAY, IF THEY WEREN'T ALREADY DEAD!"

Unperturbed by the change in her animal, and holding onto its fur
for dear life, Wakaba ordered, "I care nothing for your rank!
I order you to dispatch the hateful little bitch post-haste!"

The panda focused its evil stare upon Kachiko. "OF COURSE
I INTEND TO KILL HER!" The head swiveled back to Wakaba.
"HOWEVER, I THINK I'LL DISPATCH YOU FIRST!"

It swatted Wakaba off its back as casually as a horse swatting
a fly with its tail. The force of the blow sent her body sailing
through the air until it impacted with the wall of the school somewhere
around the second story. As her flattened form slowly slid back
to the ground, she quietly murmured, "Damn you… Tendou. This
is all… your fault," before sliding the rest of the way to
unconsciousness.

Kachiko's demeanor suddenly became more serious. "You bastard!
You hurt my buddy Wakaba! She never did anything to anybody! But
now you've gone too far, and you're going to pay!"

Cracking her knuckles in dramatic fashion, Kachiko launched a powerful
kick at the beast even as it reared one powerful paw back, intent
on slicing the…

"…Beautiful and vivacious girl in half. It was a tremendous
battle that lasted well past third period. It raged across the width
and breadth of Tokyo. Singers sang the tale of the conflict between
the force from Hell as it strove against the flesh and sinew of
mortal woman. The battle encompassed such a tremendous scope that
it is legendary even to this day."

"I never heard of it," Ranma pointed out.

"Me neither," Akane said.

"Perhaps you're misremembering something," Kasumi offered.

"No! I did fight the creature, and it was a tremendous battle.
It was incredibly dangerous. I'd say that its worst weapon was definitely
its breath."

"It could breathe fire?" Ranma asked.

"No, it was just really, really bad. Smelled like a bunch
of rotting feces or something. But I tricked it into a water tower
filled with mouthwash to neutralize the odor. I was really on top
of my game that day."

Nabiki said, "Since you're alive I assume you won. What happened
to the demon?"

Kachiko gave her 'demented hyena' smile. "We drove it out
of the body it was possessing by using a spirit ward and locked
it up again. I took possession of the prison box and hid it in a
safe place that no one would ever discover in a million years."

Nabiki pondered that. "Let me guess. You buried it under a
rock in our backyard."

Kachiko's jaw dropped until it was almost low enough to hit the
ground. "How did you know?" she gasped.

One of the large rocks in the yard exploded in spectacular fashion,
sending shards of granite shrapnel all around. From the smoky ruins
left behind, a formerly beaten and buried panda emerged. The eyes
of the beast had taken on an unearthly golden hue, and the pupils
had become vertical slits fill of malice and hate. "FREE
AT LAST!"

"This is not my fault!" Kachiko blurted out.

"Of course it's your fault! You threw a panda right into the
spot where the you buried the panda demon!" Akane shouted.

"That happened over twenty years ago! You can't expect me
to remember the exact location of every single demon I've sealed
away and buried over the last twenty years."

"It was only a couple of months ago to you," Nabiki pointed
out.

"Stop quibbling over minor details!" Kachiko snapped.

The panda stalked menacingly out of the hole. Kasumi found herself
the first one in its intended path of destruction.

She looked up at the beast and said, "Why, Mr. Saotome, you're
wearing tinted contact lenses."

"I AM NOT! THESE ARE MY NORMAL EYES, AT LEAST WHEN I AM
POSSESSING A PANDA!"

Kasumi gained a thoughtful gleam to her eye. "Have you ever
considered green ones instead? I think they would make you look
very attractive."

"FOOLISH MORTAL, YOU DARE TO IMPLY THAT MY APPEARANCE…
SAY, I WOULD LOOK BETTER WITH GREEN EYES, WOULDN'T I?!"

"I think so," Kasumi said.

Ranma gathered around with Akane and Kachiko. "Quick, while
Kasumi's distracting it with inane banter, how do we get that thing
out of Pop?"

Kachiko wrung her hands in worry. "We used a spirit ward to
drive it out of Wakaba's pet, but that won't do us any good. Where
can we find a ward at this time of day? The situation's hopeless,
I tell you! Hopeless!"

Sighing, Akane removed the piece of paper between Kachiko's eyes
and walked over to where the Pandamonious was deeply embroiled in
conversation with Kasumi.

"PROFESSIONAL GROOMERS, YOU SAY?"

"They can do wonders for your hair. I've discussed it with
Mr. Saotome sometimes, but he thinks it's too feminine. He doesn't
like it when men act feminine. I think it has something to do with
his wife."

"I DISAGREE. THERE'S NO REASON ONE CAN'T LOOK GOOD WHILE
ENGAGING IN ACTS OF MASSIVE SLAUGHTER AND RAMPANT DESTRUCTION. AND
IT IS NOT FEMININE."

The demon swiveled its head around, face full of hatred directed
at the one who dared interrupt its schemes concerning the destruction
of the human race, as well as improving his style. "WHAT
DO YOU WANT?!"

Clearing her throat, Akane said, "I wanted to know what your
first step is in taking over the planet."

The demon stared at the sheet of paper dangling from its brow.
"OH CRAP! NOT AGAINNNnnnn!"

The demon found itself forced out of the body of its host and into
the box it had been trapped in for all but three hours and three
minutes of its last thousand years of existence. Akane quickly relocated
the seal from Genma's brow to the closed box.

Everyone gathered around the box.

"What do we do with it now?" Ranma asked.

"I know, I know." Kachiko jumped up and down excitedly.
"We'll take it somewhere so desolate that no one will ever
find it."

"Like where?" Akane asked.

"How about the interior of China?"

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Oh, it'll never find a panda to possess
there."

Ranma said, "We'll drop it off with the Old Ghoul. She'll
know the best way to either get rid of it or seal it away forever."

Akane went inside the house to store the box in a safe place until
they had a chance to give it to Cologne.

"Is there anything else buried in the yard we should know
about?" Ranma asked Kachiko.

"No. Well, there's the remains of a vampire buried under the
back porch. But you don't have to worry about that, just so long
as you don't remove the stake from its rib cage. That's the only
thing keeping it from regenerating and, you know, going on a bloodsucking
rampage."

Genma, who had finally recovered, held up a sign. *Being possessed
made me hungry. Let's eat.*

Ranma's stomach growled in approval. "Good idea."

*And then we can exterminate humanity.*

Everyone looked skeptically at Genma.

He blushed. *Oops. Looks like there was some residual thoughts
left over from being possessed.*

The talk of eating stirred Kasumi from her reverie. "Oh dear.
I was so wrapped up in mother's tale that I forgot to prepare breakfast.
I'll get right on it."

"I want to do some things inside first anyway," Kachiko
said, fingering her dirty clothing. She hadn't bathed in over a
day or changed her clothing, and something had to be done about
that. She entered the house as well.

*Looks like we've got time to finish our training after all.*
Genma signed, and proceeded to take a swipe at Ranma.

Ranma darted out of the way. "You're a real wimp, Pop, if
you can get possessed by a demon so easily."

*You'll pay for that one, boy. I won't include you in my schemes
for world domination,* Genma signed and went after Ranma again.

It was fifteen minutes later that a sweaty Ranma, now in her cursed
form, made her way to the bathroom. Her father had given her a real
tussle for a change. He seemed faster and stronger than before,
which made Ranma wonder if being possessed by the demon had given
the old man an extra boost of energy. If so, it would make the morning
workouts more interesting then they had been for a while.

Checking for an occupied sign and seeing none, Ranma began undoing
the buttons of her shirt as she opened the door to the bath. She
was having trouble with the top one, and had her attention focused
on it as she entered the bath and closed the door behind her. She
took two steps in and finished undoing the annoying button, when
she finally looked up.

In the middle of the room there was a completely naked Kachiko
Tendou, sitting on a stool, completely naked and in the process
of cleaning her completely naked body off with a bucket of water.
She had lathered some soap on her form. Ranma would have liked to
have said the bubbles covered up the normally hidden parts, but
that would have been too easy. Instead, all of the most interesting
parts of her body were quite free of everything save a sheen of
water that only served to display all of the girl's attributes in
an even more erotic manner. And except for the hips, Ranma could
positively certify that Kachiko was built a lot like Akane.

"Ack!" Ranma gasped, and slapped a hand across her eyes.
It wasn't going to save her, but at least she wouldn't have to see
the blow coming.

Instead of the expected attack, she heard Kachiko say, "Who
the hell are you?"

"I'm sorry," Ranma blurted out. One of these days apologizing
was going to work and make everything better. It wasn't going to
happen today, of course, but someday.

"Great. Another daughter no one thought to tell me about,"
Kachiko said in a tired voice, "Well, get in here and help
me wash my back."

In Ranma's mind, the offer was translated into, "Well,
get in here and enjoy certain death at everyone's hands if you even
consider for a moment doing what I suggest."

"Can't! I need to leave!" Ranma blurted out and blindly
fumbled for the door behind her.

Kachiko let out a snort of derision. Drawing her arm back, she
slid the bar of soap she had been using across the floor. Ranma's
foot came down on it just as her fingers caressed the door handle.
She slipped on the soap, and managed to somersault in the air, landing
hard on her back

Lying still for a moment and intent on catching her breath, Ranma
took a moment before opening her eyes and immediately wishing she
hadn't.

Kachiko Tendou had elected to stand directly over Ranma's fallen
form, one leg on each side of her prone body and providing the redhead
with a perfect view she most certainly did not want to have.

Keeping her eyes closed, Ranma spun onto her stomach and tried
crawling away. "I really need to get out of here!"

Her crawling didn't last long, as she found her forward motion
arrested by a hand firmly grasping her by her pigtail.

"Noooo!" Ranma wailed as she tried to scramble away,
but the hold on her pigtail was too firm, and the strength behind
it impressive as she found herself dragged further into the bath.

Akane came back from securing the box in a place that was relatively
safe in her room. None of the family would mess with it, and she
had made certain there were no panties or bras around to draw Happosai
near the dangerous object. After breakfast she and Ranma would drop
the box off with Cologne and maybe ask the old woman if she had
any experience with wishing. Akane was especially concerned with
the possible repercussions of a young Kachiko Tendou's appearance
in the present. No negative side effects had happened yet, and maybe
none would, other than the fact the young girl was not what Akane
had intended when she wished to have her mother alive and at her
side. Honestly, this girl bore no resemblance to any of the memories
Akane, or even Kasumi had of the woman that had raised them. This
Kachiko was a total stranger that only had the same name as the
woman who brought the Tendou girls into this world, and it was incredibly
distressing. Akane had come so close to one of her heart's greatest
desires, but seeing the version of her mother that resided in her
memories seemed impossibly far away.

Lost in deep thought, Akane was passing by the bathroom door and
almost missed the voice from within crying out, "Noooo, stop!
Stop it, please!"

Akane cringed. Not again. Ranma could not possibly have been stupid
enough to make the exact same blundering mistake twice in his life.
There was a perfectly rational explanation for his wailing. And
she was going to discover it as she forced herself to open the door
to the bath. It took a moment to steady the trembling in her hand
enough to grip the handle and slide the door open.

The sounds were louder, but Akane couldn't see anything. It took
another moment for her to realize that she had closed her eyes.
She forced them open, taking in a deep breath of air that was reflexive
rather than intentional. Her body was operating on automatic with
the familiar scenario, even if her hopes lay in other directions.

And then she saw it. The scene was even worse than she had expected.
Ranma was pinned up with her front against the wall by a naked Kachiko
Tendou, who was rubbing her back up and down against Ranma's own.
The muscles of Kachiko's legs were tensed as they were firmly braced
against the floor, effectively pinning Ranma. The smaller girl was
pressed so firmly into the wall that she couldn't gain any significant
leverage with which to push off, or do anything other than wiggle
like a worm skewered on the end of a hook.

The deep breath served its purpose by allowing Akane to shout really
loudly, "Ranma! What are you doing with my mother?!"

Kachiko stopped moving up and down, and looked to Akane. "Let
me tell you something. This one is definitely the most ungrateful
of the lot of you. She won't even help wash her mother's back."

Akane growled, "Mom, that's not one of your daughters. That's
Ranma. And why is he in here when you're naked?"

Kachiko gave her youngest daughter a skeptical expression. Sighing,
she said, "Akane, in case you didn't notice, Ranma is a boy,
a very nice looking one, and this is a girl. There are significant
differences between the two sexes. Now, as your mother, allow me
to give you a demonstration highlighting the differences between
men and women."

Lightning fast she switched from keeping Ranma pinned against the
wall to letting her go. The unexpected release of tension caught
Ranma off guard, which enabled Kachiko to grab the redhead by the
body and spin her around so that she was facing Akane. All the while
Kachiko kept a firm grip on Ranma from behind.

Kachiko clutched Ranma's breasts and squeezed firmly, but not painfully.
To Akane, she said, "You'll note these raised areas on the
chest are not deformed pectoral muscles, but breasts."

"Ah, don't do that," Ranma moaned, Kachiko's fingertips
grasping her at just the right spot to produce just the wrong reaction.

"Very responsive breasts," Kachiko confirmed, and squeezed
again.

The scene had now become so horrible that all Akane could do was
stand there and gurgle incoherently as the veins began popping up
one at a time across her forehead.

Ranma tried running forward. She escaped the clutch around her
front, but Kachiko's leg thrust itself between the redhead's, causing
her to fall into her stomach. Before she could even try to get back
up, Kachiko was keeping her prone on the floor by straddling the
backs of her hamstrings.

Kachiko said, "Now, let's go for lower anatomical differences."

"Noooo!" Ranma squirmed as hard as she could to evade
the pair of hands that deftly began to undo the drawstring of her
pants.

Akane managed to make it to the pointing stage when Nabiki poked
her head into the room.

The middle Tendou daughter took the scene in and gave a sad shake
of her head. "My, Ranma. This has got to be a record for you.
In under an hour you have my mother naked on top of you and trying
to strip you right in front of Akane."

Kachiko had gotten as far as the boxers before she stopped and
scowled at Nabiki. "Why does everyone insist on calling this
girl Ranma?"

"Because it is Ranma, Mother." Nabiki moved past her
near catatonic sister and into the bath. "Ranma and his father
visited a cursed spring in China and came away, at no charge, with
a couple of ancient curses. Cold water turns Mr. Saotome into the
panda you saw earlier. It also turns Ranma into the redhead you
have pinned under your nude body. Hot water reverses the effect
and turns them back into their original forms."

"That's impossible," Kachiko scoffed.

Nabiki raised in eyebrow at that. "You can accept magical
wishes, time travel, and Panda Demons, but the idea of someone changing
their physical form because of a magic curse is impossible for you
to accept?"

Kachiko shrugged. "You have to draw the line somewhere."

"I'm really Ranma," the redhead stated firmly.

Kachiko rose up off Ranma. The redhead breathed a sigh of relief
and started to go for her pants.

Kachiko took the opportunity to grab Ranma by the seat of her boxers,
lift her off the ground, and toss the redhead into the furo full
of warm water she had run earlier. Ranma had only one chance to
cry out before splashing into the water, changing as his head slammed
into the bottom of the tub. He floated, stunned to the surface of
the tub.

Kachiko went to the furo and pulled back the now black head of
hair. She peered closely into Ranma's glazed over eyes. "Yep,
same semi-vacant stare as before. That's Ranma, all right."
She pondered the situation. "Hmm. On one hand, he did get a
free show and saw me naked. I had no intention of doing so at this
time. I don't just flash anyone a look at the goods." She plunged
his head deep into the water and held it there.

That snapped Akane out of his stupor. "Hey, he'll drown if
you do that."

"Yes, that's what happens when you hold a person's head underwater
and they don't have gills. He doesn't have gills, does he?"

"None that we're aware of," Nabiki said.

Kachiko continued keeping the weakly struggling Ranma underwater.
"On the other hand, I inadvertently offered him a free grope,
and he refused. He even covered his eyes rather than look at me."
She raised his waterlogged head out of the water.

Ranma gurgled out a steady stream of water out, just like a fountain.

Kachiko continued pondering things. "But by refusing to touch
me, he insulted me by implying my body wasn't worth touching."
She plunged his head back in the water.

Akane wanted to protest, but what her mother was saying made sense.

"Is he gay?" Kachiko asked, pulling his head out of the
water again.

Nabiki said, "I've considered it a possibility for a while
now. Repressed homosexuality, rather than overt."

"Ranma is not gay," Akane insisted.

Kachiko put the head back in the water. "I'm at something
of an impasse here. On some levels he clearly needs to be punished,
on others I don't think so. He's making things a bit confusing."

"I know some people that might agree with you there,"
Nabiki said pointedly to Akane.

Kachiko raised Ranma's head out of the water again. Seeing he was
unconscious, she made sure he was still breathing properly. Suddenly
the perfect resolution to the matter came to her. "I've got
it! I know how to even things up."

"How?" Akane asked.

"Since he saw me naked, I should therefore get to see him
naked, too."

"I'll get the camera." Nabiki quickly left the room.

"You can't strip Ranma," Akane insisted as her mother
slung Ranma's body over the side of the tub and proceeded to remove
his shirt.

"Sure I can. He's unconscious. That's the best time to do
it, since he can't protest or escape," she said slyly.

"I'm telling you it's wrong." Akane grabbed the boxers
her mother was trying to remove from Ranma's bottom.

"He's seen my packaging, now I get to see his. Fair is fair."
Kachiko tried pulling harder.

"Only if you get caught," Kachiko began to really tug.
"Aren't you at least a little bit curious?"

"No."

"Ah ha! You've already seen him naked."

Akane stopped pulling for a moment. "It was an accident."

"We'll call this a convenient accident as well."

"No!"

Both girls gave a mighty tug. The material, as durable as it was,
finally gave way with a tearing of threads, and both girls went
sprawling backward.

It was also at that moment Nabiki entered the bathroom and snapped
a picture.

Everyone looked at the unconscious Ranma, slumped in a sitting
position next to the bath.

Nabiki shot the unconscious youth a disdainful look. "Bah.
Why did I even bother?" she pulled the back out of the camera
and exposed the film.

Kachiko stared at the scene as well. "Hmm. Not much to write
home about."

Horrified at the results of the tug of war, Akane grabbed a towel
to cover Ranma's privates, but sneaked a second glance. "It
isn't?" she asked.

That made Kachiko tear her eyes away from the object in question.
"Can't you tell?"

"It's not like I have anything to compare it to." She
blushed slightly.

"What, no expeditions to sneak into the men's locker room
after a baseball game to check out the 'field equipment'?"

"Of course not! That would be perverted."

"No, no, no. That's not perverted. It's just showing a healthy
interest in members of the opposite sex. There's a world of difference
between that and perversion. We'll have to make a day of it and
hit a locker room and I'll show you what I mean."

"Not a chance. I'm not peeper. And don't pick on Ranma just
because he's not, err… big."

Kachiko held her hands up defensively. "I didn't say I was
going to do that. Believe me, I know there's more to a person than
the size of their equipment. Case in point." Kachiko fondled
her breasts, which, while not unnoticeable, would not be mistaken
for a pair of watermelons either.

Akane shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah. I'm the same way. I mean,
they aren't bad, but, well, let's say there are several other girls
I know that are built a bit bigger than me and it makes me feel,
well, you know…"

"Uncomfortable. I know what you mean. We're a lot alike."
She took Akane aside. "You want to know something? I didn't
want to say it out loud, but your sisters must have gotten their
racks from your dad's side of the family, because they sure didn't
get it from mine." Kachiko grabbed a bathrobe and put it on.
"That reminds me; I don't have any extra clothing, so I'm going
to borrow some of yours."

"Sure. I can loan you some of mine, since we're about the
same size." Akane was in somewhat better spirits. It was almost
as though she and her mother were bonding, which made her feel very
odd. She was silent as she considered the matter.

Akane and her mother exited the room, leaving a naked Ranma lying
next to the tub. Silence reigned for only a few moments as Ranma
woke with a start, shouting out, "I didn't see anything, especially
that distinctive mole on the inside of your…" he trailed
off as he realized he had been dreaming. The last thing he remembered
was… too much of what had actually happened before unconsciousness
had blissfully taken matters into its own hands. Looking around,
he assessed his current situation.

He was lying naked next to the furo. His underwear was torn to
shreds. His head hurt. It felt like someone had drowned, then resuscitated
him.

"Heh, sure got away with one that time." Ranma smirked
as he eased himself into the still tepid waters of the tub. He rested
his head back against the side and put a hand towel over his eyes
so he could relax and enjoy his warm soak.

Then the sounds from the interior of the house began penetrating
his shroud of peace.

"Ow! I'm telling you, I am not possessed by a demon. And I
swear if you hit me in the head with that hammer again, I'll literally
nail your hide to the wall!"

Ranma let out a tired sigh and wondered if it would be best to
ask Pop if wanted to go on a little 'training journey' for a while.
Like another ten years. Perhaps things would have settled down by
then.

"WAAAAH! Kachi-chan! You've come back to me!"

"Ah! Not him again!" *WHAM* "Oh, gross! He
got blood on me this time!"

No, that was being optimistic. Maybe fifteen would do. Or maybe
his descendants would wish him into the future at a young age so
he wouldn't have to deal with any of this. Now there was an idea.
He'd have to remember to hammer that concept into his children's
heads at an early age, the way his father had insisted on martial
arts being a way of life when Ranma himself was but a boy…

To be continued.

Author's notes: Here ends the latest chapter. And I do believe
something of an 'Oops!' was involved. Some ideas came to me as I
wrote, so I decided to give a little more of the ah, unique way
the world appears through the eyes of Kachiko, as well as getting
her 'acclimated' to the climate of the Tendou household twenty years
after. Although we did get a few looks at the reactions of a few
of the girls, as well as Kachiko's discovery of Ranma's curse. More
on this next time.