Happy 2nd Advent

So, my little TF2 Players, tell Santa Teatime: Have you been naughty or nice?Killed a lot of people? Destroyed private property? Expropriated points? Very nice!Not like that naughty bunch over there. Looking at my list: Whined about a defeat. Spammed childish comments 13 times in a row, IN CAPITALS. Accused a skilled sniper of using cheats. Grieved. Oh, that list is so very long! Sadly this Santa can’t beat you to your senses with a rod.

Speaking of wishes: Have you written your wish list yet?I’ve already received a lot and will do my best to fulfill your wishes. At least some of them. Little Jordan, don’t you think a list of 733 items is a bit excessive? Even if it was nicely formatted and printed out in an appropriate seasonal font? And I’m afraid I no longer gift living pets. Too many complaints from the parents. So, Nick, no sheep for you, sorry. But you may find the inflatable plastic sheep a comforting alternative.

What I really don’t get are all those wishes for “hats”. You may be in for a disappointment. If you lot want 657,391 hats you better announce that well in advance. I’m Santa, not Jesus. And you have no idea how restrictive overtime regulations are in those elf-union sanctioned working contracts.

One child closed its wish list with the question: “Santa Teatime, what do you wish for?”.Well, I wish for a lot of things (I’m only meta-human, after all ): World Peace. Cure for cancer. An average IQ-level above 60. A good Payload Race map.But one thing which would really make me happy would be an item drop trading system. And do you want to know why?Let me tell you ...

On the first day of Christmas,I took inventory:Found a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the second day of Christmas,I took inventory:Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the third day of Christmas, I took inventory:Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the fourth day of Christmas, I took inventory:Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the fifth day of Christmas, I took inventory:Five Jarates,Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the sixth day of Christmas, I took inventory:Six times Natasha, Five Jarates,Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the seventh day of Christmas, I took inventory:Seven Dead Ringers,Six times Natasha, Five Jarates,Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the eighth day of Christmas, I took inventory:Eight pretty Flareguns,Seven Dead Ringers,Six times Natasha,Five Jarates,Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the ninth day of Christmas, I took inventory:Nine Force-A-Natures, Eight pretty Flareguns,Seven Dead Ringers,Six times Natasha,Five Jarates,Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the tenth day of Christmas, I took inventory:Ten Cloak and Daggers,Nine Force-A-Natures, Eight pretty Flareguns,Seven Dead Ringers,Six times Natasha, Five Jarates,Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, I took inventory:Eleven yellow Bonks,Ten Cloak and Daggers,Nine Force-A-Natures,Eight pretty Flareguns,Seven Dead Ringers,Six times Natasha, Five Jarates,Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBsAnd a hat that dear Valve gave me!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, I took inventory:Twelve Razorbacks,Eleven yellow Bonks,Ten Cloak and Daggers,Nine Force-A-Natures,Eight pretty Flareguns,Seven Dead Ringers,Six times Natasha, Five Jarates,Four Übersaws,Three Sandvichs,Two KGBs,And a hat that dear Valve gave me!