17 Temmuz 2012 Salı

I am currently in a state of blankness, nothingness. It is like when you think too much, worry too, stress to much so your brain gets numb. I feel quite glad to have this feeling sometimes. To feel nothing, it is quite relaxing. But the feeling of uncertainty is heavy in the chest sometimes. I've been living life muddling around. Life is a bittersweet bewilderment. Oh my, what do you want to do before you leave? Take a last gulp of beer? love and be loved? survive? I know what I want and it is not possible to concretise. Because we were born for it.. it's predestinated to all of us. There's no way out. It's rather a bit or a lot of struggle until 'we are out'