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Dementia Hibernation / Rebirth Pattern

Sorry ya’ll, looks like Demonworld Book 5: Lords of the Black Valley won’t be available until the end of November. I know, I know.

I think I’m getting older. I can’t do the all-nighters anymore. I look like a piece of beef jerky used to stir a spittoon in a Wild West hit by the Black Plague, vacantly staring ahead while someone sits behind me loading a gun. Okay, you guessed it: The original Kyle B. Stiff just fought off an illness, and his usually-flawless body is only slowly recovering. But recover it will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, more good news: I’m going to try to have the first five Demonworld books available in hard copy by January 9 of 2013. The Age of Aquarius will be a newborn pup still coated in goo after sliding out of the galactic womb, and it’ll have Demonworld paperbacks to suckle on!

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9 responses to “Dementia Hibernation / Rebirth Pattern”

You have failed us yet again. However, a nice little hurricane came by in early November and turned my entire life upside down anyway. No power at home for ten days, at the office for two weeks. I lived at the office morning to night running our servers off of multiple generators and battling like Conan at gas lines. I was pretty much a hero of the wasteland, not to toot my own horn.

So as I finally start to settle back into the normal day to day I turned to Amazon, thinking that I might finally get to enjoy the next chapter in the Demonworld saga…and nothing. So in protest I’ve turned the power back off at my house and refuse to leave it until the book arrives. Think self immolation protest, but more like self freezing my ass of protest.

You might think to yourself: “Jim, why would I care if you are freezing and have no Xbox?” That would be a good question, one I would answer with: my wife is pissed. If you think Wodan is scary on a bad day you should see how a half-brazilian woman acts with the heat turned off.

A hurricane?! You think you had it bad?!? I haven’t finished the book because I was mildly tired for several days in a row – and for someone born into extreme wealth and a life of ease, let me tell you, a little tiredness is an incredibly taxing challenge. No matter how I yelled at my servants, nothing could be done about my sorry state. Then again, I think what really happened is that I sensed what you and everyone else on the east coast was going through and it hit me like Obi-Wan was hit with the destruction of Alderaan. “I felt a disturbance in the Force… as if a million Xboxes suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.”

I was laid up for a couple of weeks, and I think my body was fighting something. A virus, gods arguing to claim my soul, I don’t know what. The best story I could come up with during that time was a series of excuses directed at my fiance (who is also an avid Demonworld reader) about how Wodan, no matter how badass he is, is often struck by inexplicable tiredness and has to lie down for two weeks in a row (though I edit out those parts because they’re boring).

But don’t worry Jim – I’m back now! Bigger, bolder, stronger than ever! I’m all over book five, just whooping its ass without mercy. The cover is done and ready to rock, the text is in the “miracle mile” phase, and the editing won’t take long at all, I promise. I’ll redeem myself in your eyes… you’ll see!

Don’t worry, dear readers! I’ve got my team of masseuses working overtime to help me relieve the stress of this looming deadline, and I’m really cracking the whip with my team of editors and proofreaders. Many, many times I’ve turned away from whatever videogame I’m playing, looked at my watch, and sighed with frustration before barking out, “Hurry up, okay, guys? This book isn’t going to finish itself!” I’ve even reduced the number of naps I take in the afternoon from four down to three so that I can make sure Lords of the Black Valley is finished, without regard to my own physical well-being.