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The reality is, most of us wait for that perfect someone. We dream in our teenage years of finding our soulmate. We wait for that ‘perfect’ one. We wait and we wait and we wait but the truth is, no-one is perfect, be it a man or a woman.

You will find faults with your husband and your wife. Everyone has something that will annoy the other person but you got to work through those faults and remember why it is you came to love each other in the first place. But what if you didn’t love each other in the first place? What if it was an arranged marriage?

This week, I had a recently married ‘arosa’ on the telephone, crying. It was an arranged marriage and she felt like he wasn’t paying attention to her, was shouting too much…’you can’t do this, you can’t do that’…the ‘I’ve just got married, you don’t cook like my mother syndrome’.

This is life. This is marriage. Of course EVERYONE has their problems. Within time, for many, they do disappear but what if they don’t, all because you didn’t know the person to begin with?

I for one can’t understand why anyone would agree to an arranged marriage in the first place, YES, I know it’s the culture, it’s tradition, it’s this, it’s that and it doesn’t only happen here. Arranged marriages date right back to Louis XIV of France and Marie Theresa of Spain which was the 16th Century BUT…how can you put two people in a house and expect them to get along? What if they hate each other? What if they can’t stand to even hear the other one speak? Perhaps, that persons voice irritates the hell out of you, what then?

My advice to her was, he is your husband, you agreed to this. You aren’t a stupid person, you are intelligent, this is going to take time, ALOT of time. But what else could I say to her? You were stupid to ever do it in the first place?

We all have problems. We dwell on life too much. We question too much. We wish too much. We wonder too much. We aren’t grateful enough. So here’s what I have to say.

Be happy and grateful for what you have.

If you wait and wait and wait for; that perfect moment, that perfect guy, that perfect day, that perfect month-your life will be over.

Sad how a young girl’s dreams ( your telephone arosa) can be shattered within weeks of marriage- but I blame not the men here, but the mothers for
1) mollycoddling their sons (I too am guilty)
2) giving their daughters unrealistic expectations for what marriage will be like

Back in the days of Louis Quatorze, the arranged marriages were often between countries for peace treaties etc, truly ”affairs of state”, half the time the couples never slept together and were bonking the other members of the royal court anyway ( oh, does that sound familiar?)