Halle Berry’s ex husband is pissed that a nanny has to be around during his visits with her. Good. That’s the price you pay for being inside “The Berry!”Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are back together. My penis doesn’t know what to believe anymore…

Lindsay Lohan was once again sentenced for violating her probation. She got sentenced to head to the morgue, I guess to show her what she’ll look like in a few months if she keeps acting the way she does. She showed up late. Seriously, fuck this girl.

Los Angeles Sheriff Lee Baca has stated that there is room for Lohan in the booty house. Her mug shots look like Faces Of Meth.

“Rapper” Soulja Boy was caught by cops with his friends carrying $46,000 in cash, five ounces of weed, and a gun. He will be used for currency if he goes to prison.

Singer Sean Kingston kinda sorta crashed his expensive ass car into another expensive ass car. Didn’t he just get out the hospital for crashing a damned jet ski? Stay home!

Stacy Kiebler and George Clooney are still dating. Man, the Spank Bank is in the worst recession since Chloe Sevigny gave that troll looking guy a blowjob in that movie Brown Bunny. Like, a for reals one. Look it up.