How can I help my preschooler get over her fear of dogs?

Your job is to both acknowledge her anxiety and help her get more comfortable with these four-legged creatures. Say, "I know you're afraid of the dog," and leave it at that. It's natural for 3- and 4-year-olds to find many things scary, and dogs — who can make loud noises, jump up, or lick your preschooler's face — are near the top of the list of terrifying things for many children. Forcing her to pet a slobbering schnauzer may only make her more afraid and could turn her dread of dogs into a lifelong phobia. Resist the urge to push her to face her fear or try to convince her there isn't any reason to be afraid. Both tactics are likely to backfire. For instance, you'll probably only make her more upset if you say, "It's okay, the dog won't hurt you — there's nothing to be afraid of." Instead, try, "I understand that the poodle frightens you. Let's walk past him together. Or if you don't want to do that, I'll hold you while he walks past us."

Over time, you can gradually introduce her to man's best friend. You'll want to teach her both to enjoy furry, fun-filled Fidos, and to keep a healthy distance from strange animals whose behavior and temperament may be unpredictable. Point out pooches on your walks together, and read stories about good-natured pet dogs and their happy owners. This is a great age to incorporate imaginative play to help increase her comfort level. Try using stuffed animals and other toy versions of dogs to act out dog situations that your child finds frightening. This kind of play can help her feel she has more control over the situation; she may even want to pretend to be a snarling, barking dog herself. As your preschooler becomes more comfortable, visit a pet store, where she can see some adorable, penned puppies at a safe distance, which will help her feel she has some control as well. As she gets more relaxed around dogs, introduce her to a friend or relative's pet, and show her how to talk to and pet the animal so he'll respond positively. And don't worry, your preschooler is likely to outgrow her apprehension. Before you know it you'll hear the words: "Mom, can I have a puppy?"

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