Season Two of 'Sarah Palin's Alaska' Blown to Bits

TV viewers who enjoy keeping down their dinner can rejoice—Sarah Palin's Alaska will not be returning for a second season. Why? Yosemite Sarah isn't saying, but we have a few theories:

1) Bristol Palin wants to spend more time working on her spinoff, Real Housewives of Wasilla. 2) Sarah exhausted her repertoire of ways to kill animals. Even Angela Lansbury couldn't write that much murder into a show. 3) Clinton Kelly said she was so 2008. 4) Season one editors still aren't finished cutting out every scene in which she said "maverick."5) Alaskan animals have all fled to Russia, although Sarah reports, "I can still see them from my house."