Friday, April 1, 2011

The Example to Live By

Adoption has been a life changing journey in my life. As a daughter to just my earthly mother and father, I only knew a love far greater when I was accepted with open arms into my Heavenly Father's eternal family when He adopted me as His beloved daughter. At that moment, I felt so special... rested in peace for the first time knowing that I was to be forever His.... forever and forever.

My Heavenly Father is so much more than just my Father-- He is my example. And I am totally undeserving of His love.. His grace... His perfect presence in my life.

The romantic side of me hopes that my children felt the same way when we first adopted them. It would sure make adoption so much easier. But oh how I know all too well, that that most likely wasn't the case. It's not their fault... they are merely children and to expect them to understand adoption at that level is way too much to ask. As the parent, I want to teach them that their adoption was just as special. Though I've been welcomed into His family with open arms-- I struggle moment by moment with living up to my redemption. I think we all do.

I am jealous of others. I am envious too. I yell and I scream and I make countless mistakes. I fight the temptation of other idols... daily. I compare my sins to others. I seek justice--better known as revenge-- often seeking to do things better, faster, and more to my liking. I am manipulative without even trying, and I pretend that I have it all together when I don't. I get angry, I can be resentful, and I struggle to find the joy that surrounds my very being. I'm not very gentle, I worry, and keep a record of wrong without even trying. I put myself above others, I put others above God, and I struggle to accept that in God's eyes I am beautiful.

And yet He gives His love unconditionally.... never ceasing.... and though my faith walk comes and goes with the tide.... I always come back stronger than ever because I know that He hasn't turned His back on me. He is my Father, I am His child--- only through adoption.

This is my example. My gentle, gracious, wonderful, amazing, example.

When one of my children yell at me... this is my example. When one of my children disobey me day in and day out for days on end... He is my example. When one of my children hits another one of my children, pulls out my freshly planted flowers, and pees in the pool on purpose... He is my example. On the days that I have been pushed to edge, instigated to lose my temper, and left made to feel inadequate by one of my children... He is my example. When one of my children become forgetful,manipulative, or disrespectful... He is forever and ever my example.

And so I have a choice. What am I going to do with that example? I could ignore it and allow myself to slowly suffocate in the endless sea of muck that sin represents... and eventually... I would either stop fighting and drown, or I would become bitter and hardened to it and let it feed into me-- thus destroying us all.

Or I can daily ask him to fill me with grace, enough to pour over into my children. They need it too. As time goes on, and I learn to joyfully.... wholeheartedly live because of my adoption, I pray that God uses me to help my children live life bathed in grace because of theirs.

May I follow God's example as to plant a deep desire in my children to grow closer to Him-- the One who began it all.... and showed through example, the redemptive love that only adoption can provide.

Like you, I was raised in a family that left me with no doubt that I was loved. I was also taught that I was always a member of God's family, and that it was God who lent me - His daughter - to my parents to raise on this earth.

Whenever I talk to my son about his adoption, my explanation is simple and exactly what I truly believe: God knew he needed to come to our family, but our mortal bodies weren't able to bring children into this world, so another person was chosed to bring my son to earth so that he could come to our family. It was just a detour on his way to his forever family!

and you are so right - I think no one can really appreciate what God goes through in dealing with His children until they have children of their own to help them experience it. I'm so grateful my Heavenly Father is so much more patient with His child than I ever hope to be with mine!