Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Arctic Ice Breaker Long Term Plan

Using a form of Chaos theory and a software application to view and navigate hypertext, I have discovered the long term purpose of the fleet of ice breakers that have recently been promised by the Conservative Party.

It seems that the North Pole is being moved - by a nefarious outfit calling itself "Mother Nature" - to Siberia!

As this map clearly shows , Siberia is East not North! This evil "Mother Nature" plans to conquer the earth by confusing compasses and bringing all travel to standstill!

Since it will take about 50 years for the North Pole to reach Siberia, you can see the forward thinking of the Conservative Plan to have fleet of Ice Breakers as well as heavy aircraft at it's disposal in about next 10 years to counteract "Mother Nature" and drag the pole back where it belongs - in the true north strong and free!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Retrospective Hilights of 2005

It's that time of the year - the time between Christmas and New Years - a time to relax and spend time with friends and family. And of course, the hated "Best of the Year" and "Year in Review" uncontent in all media. So we will be posting a retrospective of this past year in AlsoCanadian land.This is a fitting one to start with as we have had 5 Liberals resign or apologize for stupid, damaging comments and actions in first 3 weeks of the campaign so far.

The first thing you know is someone will say that Mulroney had scandals - yadda yadda yadda - so the Liberal's scandals don't count.

Here are Mulroney era scandals to compare to the 200 and counting.

1) The big one was Tunagate which brought down Mulroney's minister of fisheries and oceans. Fisheries minister John Fraser had overturned an order from his own inspectors and ordered a million cans of StarKist tuna released for sale to the public. The inspectors had said the tuna, packed at the StarKist plant in St. Andrews, N.B., was so badly spoiled that it wasn't even fit to be turned into catfood. The plant's owners had lobbied Fraser to release the cans for sale, saying they might shut the plant if the tuna couldn't be sold.

When the story broke, Fraser said he had sent samples of the tuna to two independent labs for testing, but those labs later said they hadn't finished their tests by the time Fraser decided to release the shipment. Six days after the scandal erupted, Mulroney asked Fraser to resign. In a twist the opposition parties were quick to exploit, Fraser and Mulroney both initially said that Mulroney had known about the original decision to release the tuna. The two men later said the prime minister had not known until the affair became public.

Fraser eventually went on to a new job, becoming Speaker in the House of Commons, but the 400 StarKist workers in St. Andrews weren't so lucky. The plant was shuttered after the company's market share slumped, and they were thrown out of work. Noone got sick though.

2) Robert Coates stepped down as defence minister in 1985 after it was revealed that he had visited a strip club in West Germany while in that country on official business.

3) Communications Minister Marcel Masse left over an alleged violation of the Canada Elections Act (he was later exonerated), followed closely by John Fraser (Tunagate).

4) In 1986, Minister of Regional Industrial Expansion Sinclair Stevens stepped down because of conflict of interest allegations related to a $2.6-million loan to a Stevens family company. In December 2004, a Federal Court judge declared null and void the findings of the Parker Inquiry. The court ruled that Parker's definition of conflict of interest exceeded that in the guidelines governing ministers in the Mulroney Cabinet, and that Stevens' behaviour did not violate the guidelines that governed him.

5) André Bissonnette, the minister of state for transport, resigned in 1987 while the RCMP investigated his alleged involvement in land speculation.

6) Roch La Salle, who served Mulroney in the public works, and supply and services portfolios, left cabinet the same year after being charged with demanding a bribe and accepting money from businesses looking for government favours. The charges were later dropped.

"I would never for a moment suggest that Stephen Harper would prefer, for partisan political reasons, to see a separatist victory."—Paul Martin, Wednesday morning"All that motivates [Duceppe] in Ottawa is to work for separation — and it's obvious….Why else would he team up with Stephen Harper? Think about it. Stephen Harper and Gilles Duceppe."—Paul Martin, Wednesday evening

What does this have to do with Liberal anti-American attacks you ask? Well, here goes:

The Liberals plan to replace U.S. tourism with Holland and Thailand style "sex and drug" tourism!Don't you remember this? "MP members of the justice subcommittee studying the merits of legalizing prostitution for Canada have proposed a "sex tour," to explore brothels that operate legally in such jurisdictions as the Netherlands, Britain, Sweden and Nevada. British Columbia NDP MP Libby Davies introduced the Liberal-supported private members bill proposing the legalization of full-scale brothels last year."

Why go to Amsterdam or Bangkok, when instead you can go to Toronto or Vancouver? Not only will you be able to pay for sex and get stoned, but the government will also provide the condoms, drugs, needles, and crack pipes free of charge!

As for softwood lumber, we will have to keep it all anyways to provide rolling papers to all the tourists...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Traditional Liberal Wisdom Not Working

Although the polls are still holding in favor of the Liberals in this election, many indicators show that their campaign is struggling. Many political observers and pundits have discussed the many miscues made by the Liberals, while talking up how well the Conservative campaign is going.

The traditional liberal support is flagging. The old adages such as "You can paint a pig red and call it a Liberal and it would win" just aren't holding up anymore. Now you have to start asking yourself, has the Liberal brand been so tarnished that they can no longer mount an effective campaign? Or did they simply pick the wrong Pig?

Monday, December 19, 2005

Canada Election 2006 Newsreader

I've wanted to try out a RSS feeder for a while but never had the time. Well I found one that does all the work for me.

Here is a free RSS newsreader pre-loaded with the latest feeds from the Liberal, Conservative, NDP and Green parties! It also has some media news feeds pre-loaded as well. You can then add your own RSS feeds to stay on top of election news, blogs and podcasts. It was very easy to install and get working.

The Download specs are:Reads all the latest XML feed formats (RSS 2.0 and Atom 1.0) Works on Windows 98/2000/XP/Me/NT operating systems Requires no plug-ins or additional software or downloads Does not require collection of any personal informationProgram is FREEWARE and contains NO SPYWARE or ADWARE Includes an uninstall function File size is 1.2 MB 100% FREE UNLIMITED DOWNLOAD

The Leaker of the 1997 Harper speech

Is none other than Alex Munter who is a close friend of Brian Guest, one of Prime Minister Paul Martin's closest advisers!

Alex Munter is a former Ottawa city councillor and well-known gay rights activist who may be running for Mayor of Ottawa. The Canadian Press learned that Munter was in Vancouver with the Liberal team, working with Martin on debate preparations.

Any of these Munter quotes sound familiar?

"I am not a card-carrying member of any political party.The Liberal party was not a factor in my letting CP know about this story. I wasn't calling on behalf of the Liberal party, I was calling on my own and it was up to CP whether it ran the story or not.''

Asked who found the speech for him? "He is a Liberal.''

In its simplest terms, the Liberals used a third party to put a buffer between them and a story that was unflattering to the Conservative leader.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Leafs Suck

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Secret Message In Harper's 1997 Speech

I have been doing some intense analysis on the content, context, semantics, and spelling of the speech giving by Stephen Harper in 1997 and was astounded to find that there was a secret message within his oration. As he was giving this speech to conservative Americans, and not knowing who may overhear, Harper chose to use special keywords so as not to reveal the true contents of this speech.

The first thing I noticed was the obvious code phrase 'Northern European Welfare State'. Now there were many conservatives at the time saying that Canada was moving in that direction since even the former Progressive Conservative government was ringing up huge deficits. It is clear that Harper was not referring to this though, he was actually using the acronym form of the phrase. He was really talking about NEWS, as in news media.

In his speech about bilingualism he wasn't talking about Canada, he was talking about how the media in this country works. In Canada there are mostly French newspapers and English newspapers but it is extremely rare to have a bilingual newspaper, thus most politicians are free to say one thing in one language and quite another thing in the opposite language. When Harper talks about the American conservatives being a beacon of light, he is referring to the conservative media outlets that they have managed to establish in the US to fight the dreaded bias found in most NEWS reporting.

Now that the true meaning of the speech has been revealed, I have to say, I don't blame Harper for trying to warn the Americans about our NEWS media in Canada. I mean would american journalists report on comments that were madeofftherecord?

"Beer and Popcorn" Underlies Whole Debate!

As you can see from this picture, Stephen Harper finally has someone in television on his side, even if it is only the set decorator. The debate floor has a large subliminal Molson Canadian beer cap on it, referring of course to Harper's new "beer and popcorn" policy for families.

Unfortunately, this won't get Harper any points in Quebec as everyone knows Quebecers only drink Labatt Blue...

Paul Martin Sayz

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Exclusive: Preview of Tonight's Debate

Here is an exclusive preview of Paul Martin's prepared answers for the anticipated questions asked during tonight's debate. I have recently recieved a leaked copy of the script that Paul Martin will be reading from later on tonight. I have already translated these questions and responses, as they are for the French language version.

Moderator: Mr. Martin, please give us an overview of your platform.

Martin: Thats a good question. Fundementaly, we must act. Our record speaks for itself.

Moderator: You have 50 seconds left Mr. Martin.

Martin: Look it. Make no mistake, come hell or high water, this is an absolute priority.

Harper's 1997 Speech

Harper loves Canada: "Let's start up with a compliment. You're here from the second greatest nation on earth".

Poke fun at both Americans and Canadians: "It may not be true, but it's legendary that if you're like all Americans, you know almost nothing except for your own country. Which makes you probably knowledgeable about one more country than most Canadians."

Ohh yeah about language:"So it's basically an English-speaking country, just as English-speaking as, I would guess, the northern part of the United States."

Makes fun of Lawyers: "It's about a constitutional lawyer who dies and goes to heaven. There, he meets God and gets his questions answered about life. One of his questions is, ``God, will this problem between Quebec and the rest of Canada ever be resolved?'' And God thinks very deeply about this, as God is wont to do. God replies, "Yes, but not in my lifetime.'' I'm glad to see you weren't offended by that. I've had the odd religious person who's been offended. I always tell them, "Don't be offended. The joke can't be taken seriously theologically. It is, after all, about a lawyer who goes to heaven.''

Our system compared to US:"However, our executive is the Queen, who doesn't live here. Her representative is the Governor General, who is an appointed buddy of the Prime Minister.

Of our two legislative houses, the Senate, our upper house, is appointed, also by the Prime Minister, where he puts buddies, fundraisers and the like. So the Senate also is not very important in our political system.

And we have a Supreme Court, like yours, which, since we put a charter of rights in our constitution in 1982, is becoming increasingly arbitrary and important. It is also appointed by the Prime Minister. Unlike your Supreme Court, we have no ratification process.

So if you sort of remove three of the four elements, what you see is a system of checks and balances which quickly becomes a system that's described as unpaid checks and political imbalances."

Not afraid to call out the Reform Party: "Last year, when we had the Liberal government putting the protection of sexual orientation in our Human Rights Act, the Reform Party was opposed to that, but made a terrible mess of the debate. In fact, discredited itself on that issue, not just with the conventional liberal media, but even with many social conservatives by the manner in which it mishandled that."

He was right on gay rights: The Liberal party "believes in gay rights, although it's fairly cautious. It's put sexual orientation in the Human Rights Act and will let the courts do the rest."

The rest is a good read, discussing the various parties andf how they fit together currently and in history. It is obvious that the speech was geared to a right-wing U.S. think tank.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

George Bush and Paul Martin: Political Twins

*Both George Bush and Paul Martin are named after their fathers.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin followed their fathers into politics.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin had more success than their fathers in politics.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin have been in politics a long time.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin have BA’s in History.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin were born with a silver spoon in their mouths and had everything handed to them.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin used their fathers’ money and influence to start successful business careers and are multi-millionaires.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin had elections where more people voted against them than for them.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin are riding a good economy with low unemployment.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin like to tell other countries what to do no matter how bad they are doing at home.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin have ties to controversial companies that have benefited greatly from their association with them.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin surround themselves with “yes” (wo)men.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin are the more unpopular than their controversial predecessors.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin have shrill, old, mouthy, partisan second-in-commands.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin supported going to Iraq because of the Weapons of Mass Destruction.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin have polarized the voters of their countries.*Both George Bush and Paul Martin have derogatory nick names (shrub and dithers).

And last but not least both George Bush and Paul Martin will be waving goodbye to their political careers after their countries next elections.(Notice who is wearing the red tie!)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Beware The Vote Snatchers!!!

The Globe & Mail has recently reported the horrific details of a sinister plot outlined in the headline Liberals snatching NDP votes in Ontario. According to a Strategic Council poll commissioned by CTV/Globe&Mail, the New Democrats' support level has dropped to single digits as the Grits reach their highest mark since May.

Apparently, due to the mushy consistency of the typical NDP voter's brain, the Liberal invaders can easily lay their larval young within the skull of these addle minded members of our society. As the young larvae grow, they slowly take control of the socialist mind and turn it into a Liberal mind. Although both brain patterns are similar, the Liberal mind is much more cunning and has even less of a moral compass than the usually naive and idealist NDP mind.

Beware, these invaders walk among us!!!

Note: For all those poll addicts out there, can anyone explain to me why the national numbers add up to 100% but the Ontario numbers only add up to 73% for this poll? Are the Greens getting 27% of the vote in Ontario? Any Poll that has the NDP at 9% in Ontario is highly suspect.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Dear Paul Martin: Part One

Paul Martin:

You say that you believe in Charter Rights. Why did you have a half-whipped vote on the same sex marriage bill? If you believe so strongly in the charter, shouldn't you have demanded that all of your MP's voted in favour of this bill? There is no such thing ascharter liteyou know.

Conservatives Guaranteed To Win Election!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Evil Forests

I knew those evil forests had to go - they are causing global warming!

Climate scientists warn today that expanding forests in the temperate zones of Europe, the US and Asia could add to global warming.

Simulations predicted the conversion of north American and European forests and grassland to agriculture would cool the region and counteract the effects of global warming by 25%-50%. This is because ripening corn and other staples would reflect more sunlight back into space, and release more moisture into the air, while dark forests would absorb sunlight and send thermometers soaring.

In July, a Newcastle University team argued that forests soaked up water and evaporated it into the atmosphere twice as fast as grassland or crops. In September, European researchers showed that in the hot summer of 2003, most of the carbon stored in forests in the previous four years was released back into the atmosphere, to accelerate global warming and trigger yet more heatwaves. Such findings could exasperate US utility companies that have planted forests to compensate for fossil fuel use, and infuriate ecologists and conservationists who wish to protect forests.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Lunch Pale New Contributor To IAM(also)CANADIAN

As you can see from the two posts below, Pale of Lunch Pale has somehow stolen my username and password. Seein as how it's too much hassle to try to remember a new password, me and my bloggin expert "Tom" have decided to just let him join the blog.

So fer all you loyal readers, don't be alarmed if you start seein some posts that actually make sense...

Political Trolling 101 - Always Attack Never Defend

The golden rule of election blog politics seems to be the same as message board and newsgroup trolling: Always Attack - Never Defend.

The best defense is awareness.

Some effective attacking techniques:

Outing consists of finding personal information - name, address, etc - of a formerly anonymous poster and putting it in messages on the net.

Another tactic is the creation of "conversations" where the provocateur is both members of the conversation. Either agreeing or disagreeing but pushing their agenda by making the "opposing" side look weaker. Other tactics include the provocateur responding incoherently to his own posts to make the other side look weak and foolish.

Try to discredit people's ideas by referring to defects in their character. It's most often used when provocateurs have no way of rebutting claims made by someone. For example, someone will say something that cannot be refuted; they then will refer to him as a slime that defaulted on his child support payments. Whatever the truth of those allegations, it can be said that this behavior has nothing to do with the truth (or lack of same).

Distract them...get them OFF defending their points any way you can.

If possible, turn the opposition against each other. This turns other people off, and they stop posting or reading the blog.

Make the blog un-readable...so no one wants to stay or go there.

Other common tactics:

Ad hominem - attacking the arguer and not the argument.Appeal to ignorance (absence of evidence is not evidence of absence).Begging the question (assuming an answer in the way the question is phrased).Observational selection (counting the hits and forgetting the misses).Statistics of small numbers (such as drawing conclusions from inadequate sample sizes).Non sequitur - "it does not follow" - the logic falls down.Post hoc, ergo propter hoc - "it happened after so it was caused by" - confusion of cause and effect.Meaningless question ("what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?).Excluded middle - considering only the two extremes in a range of possibilities (making the "other side" look worse than it really is). Slippery slope - unwarranted extrapolation of the effects (give an inch and they will take a mile).Straw man - caricaturing (or stereotyping) a position to make it easier to attack..

The following are suggested as tools for testing arguments:

Wherever possible there must be independent confirmation of the facts.Encourage substantive debate on the evidence by knowledgeable proponents of all points of view.Arguments from authority carry little weight (in science there are no "authorities").Spin more than one hypothesis - don't simply run with the first idea that caught your fancy.Try not to get overly attached to a hypothesis just because it's yours.Quantify, wherever possible.If there is a chain of argument every link in the chain must work."Occam's razor" - if there are two hypothesis that explain the data equally well choose the simpler.Ask whether the hypothesis can, at least in principle, be falsified (shown to be false by some unambiguous test). In other words, it is testable? Can others duplicate the argument and get the same result?

Lets get retarded in hah, lets get retarded in hereLets get retarded in hah, lets get retarded in hereLets get retarded in hah, lets get retarded in hereLets get retarded in hah, lets get retarded in hereAre the Liberals finally being honest with Canadians? (As their campaign song indicates, you have to be retarded to vote Liberal!)Or are the Liberals retarded for choosing such a retarded theme song?

It's The Stupid Economy...

I have a question:

How come the Liberals say we should vote for them regardless of their lying and scandal because the economy is so great and unemployment is at a 30 year low, when at the same time the US with their "idiot" (according to the Liberals) president is also enjoying good economy and low unemployment?

Could you imagine how good our economies would be without idiots running them?