The Wasatch Behind: Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize

"The Nobel Peace Prize?" I stammered. "What did Al Gore do to win a Nobel Peace Prize?"

"He made a propaganda film about global warming," Spud said. "The film won an Academy Award; quite a feat for a documentary that has been shown in an English court of law to espouse at least nine significant non-truths. And now the same film has won him the Nobel Peace Prize. Michael Moore must be terribly jealous."

"But I thought the Nobel Peace Prize was supposed to go to people who help prevent wars and promote world peace," I said. "What does Al Gore and global warming have to do with world peace?"

"Well, global warming could lead to ecological instability that might cause worldwide geo-political stresses that sometime in the future might cause conflict between nations."

"And his solution is?" I asked.

"We've got to give up fossil fuels, automobiles, airplanes, mining and heavy industry and go back to a semi-stone age society," Spud said. "It's our only salvation."

"But won't that cause social and political instability that might cause worldwide geo-political stresses that sometime in the future might cause conflict between nations?"

"Perhaps," he said, "but with Al Gore and the green people in charge, we would surely have softer, gentler wars. Without oil and gas to power our ships and planes, we could go back to fighting with rocks and sticks. I think the man deserves the Nobel Peace Prize."

"That's a good point," I agreed.

"And, I think Al Gore should have won the Nobel Prize for Economics, too," Spud said. "Global warming has more to do with economics than world peace. In Al Gore's Chicken-Little world, our only hope is to have a global economy where every farm and factory is controlled by Big Brother's emissions police. And, as you know, to have a one world economy, we must have a one world government. We can't have one without the other. This kind of far-out thinking is Nobel Prize winning stuff."

"Yes," I agreed again. "And why didn't he win the Nobel Prize for Literature as well? His film is based on his book."

"Good point," Spud confessed. "And he could have gotten the prize for medicine, too. His solution to global warming is tough medicine, but he says we've got to swallow it for our own good."

"And why not the prize for chemistry?" I added. "Al Gore is such a charismatic guy. I've heard that he simply charms people with the chemistry of his stage presence. It won him an Academy Award. Surely it's worth a Nobel Prize?"

"Good grief," Spud sputtered. "There are only six categories for Nobel prizes and Al Gore qualifies to win five of them in a single year. This is unprecedented."

"Actually, he should have won all six categories," I said. "I think he should have won the prize for physics, too."

"You mean the science of matter and energy?"

"Is that what it is? I thought a physic was something a doctor prescribed."