Way back in episode five, we revealed the inconvenient truth about eating out with kids. Take all of that — dealing with the mess, feeling obligated to tip more to compensate for your children’s behavior, worrying about that any-second-now-meltdown, setting your money on fire because holy expensive to eat out — and let’s do it early in the day so that you can go home buzzed and have to CONTINUE PARENTING FOR HOURS.

Sound fun? We don’t think so either. But if you insist, we have some tips for how to survive brunch — or maybe even make it fun. Or at least easy and delicious.

Here's an idea: Let's take feeding kids public! We’ll bring them to a restaurant full of other adults who aren't compelled to think that our kids are cute. We’ll pay to make the experience happen. And let’s throw waiters who are loathe to deal with our small people in the mix, too, so we can pay them extra for having to serve us. Sounds fun, right?

This, friends, is dining out with children. Let us speak of why we partake of this ritual. Because, yes, we believe it's worth it. (But, yes, it's possible we're just crazy.)