Land of confusion.

Bondage, D/s, M/s, these aren't things I saw in a movie, read in a book, or was Introduced to by a former partner, on some level it is and has always been apart of who I am, part of my nature. For myself I hate the word kinky because it does not encapsulate what things are for me. I have always been this way, even when it was buried beneath my own societal expectations, my nature was always in conflict with that expectation and has left some scars because of it.

Am I perfect? God no,

Do I know everything? Never.

Do I know what I want? Yes and no.

Firstly want is the wrong word, for me it is definitely a need, I have tried to walk away from it many times due to frustrations, but I always have that pull to come back to it.

Secondly, I know what I need now, but like any person indulging in one thing can lead to new experiences, new thoughts, and new ways to feel whole.

I think that is what I am trying to explain about myself. I don't feel whole, complete. It's not a romantic thing, it's......complicated to explain because it seems my thoughts on submission and enslavement are very different than most, what I see as perfect sense, others don't.

I need a girl who understands the selfless nature a slave should have, that perfect trust. Everyone is so worried about getting what they want, that they cannot exist as I need them to. I need her to exist to please me, to serve me, I do not need her motivation to be what I can give her, this is not how power exchange works no matter who started that lie.

Not everyone will agree with me, precious few actually, and that is fine. It has been the experiences I have had that have shown me what doesn't work. I've been lied to, stolen from, cheated on, manipulated, and have had my heart broken. This is what has made me what I am, and this is why I will spend the rest of my life looking if I must. Eventually someone will get it.

It is my belief we are all born with a predisposed nature, our sort of authentic self. Then many of us are forced away from this nature by the expectations of family, of society, and our peers. We coat ourselves in this she'll in an effort to fit in and be normal. For many of us, what eventually happens is that our nature comes in conflict with these expectations. We know we are supposed to be something, but we are constantly peppered with the idea that what we are supposed to be is in some way wrong. Leading when we need to follow, follow when we need to lead. Falling into all the rituals of society, working, marriage, children, all while denying who we are because we are supposed to until we reach that moment when we can no longer stand who we have become. Lives become upended, relationships destoyed, being called selfish for finally for the first time doing what feels right for yourself. None of you are alone in this, and none of you are really an evil person, no matter how much you others may try to make you feel that way.

Some are able to live a duality, to be the expectation indulging the nature, others of us burn down the expectation to try and embrace who they are. Others still need to have those layers forcably pulled away so that they can breathe for the first time unencumbered.

We are not deviants, we are not evil, sick, or any of the other labels you have had to endure as a result of being your authentic self. We are Dominants, Submissives, Masters, Slaves, and every variation of those things.

I am who I am, some disagree with what I need, with what I am in essence, and what I believe, and that is great, I would be more than happy to answer questions or respectfully debate anything you like. I will not however engage in your shitty behavior, even if it is your nature.

It is my belief we are all born with a predisposed nature, our sort of authentic self. Then many of us are forced away from this nature by the expectations of family, of society, and our peers. We coat ourselves in this she'll in an effort to fit in and be normal. For many of us, what eventually happens is that our nature comes in conflict with these expectations. We know we are supposed to be something, but we are constantly peppered with the idea that what we are supposed to be is in some way wrong. Leading when we need to follow, follow when we need to lead. Falling into all the rituals of society, working, marriage, children, all while denying who we are because we are supposed to until we reach that moment when we can no longer stand who we have become. Lives become upended, relationships destoyed, being called selfish for finally for the first time doing what feels right for yourself. None of you are alone in this, and none of you are really an evil person, no matter how much you others may try to make you feel that way.

Some are able to live a duality, to be the expectation indulging the nature, others of us burn down the expectation to try and embrace who they are. Others still need to have those layers forcably pulled away so that they can breathe for the first time unencumbered.

We are not deviants, we are not evil, sick, or any of the other labels you have had to endure as a result of being your authentic self. We are Dominants, Submissives, Masters, Slaves, and every variation of those things.

I am who I am, some disagree with what I need, with what I am in essence, and what I believe, and that is great, I would be more than happy to answer questions or respectfully debate anything you like. I will not however engage in your shitty behavior, even if it is your nature.

There are just things that never cease to amaze me. I am an old school sort who prefers enslavment over a D/s dynamic. By old school, I mean, as a Dom or Master, I am in charge. I have tried consenting slavery, and the thing that irritated me the most is that the slave holds all the power and she knows it. Argue all you need to, the truth of it is that offering submission as a prize, as a gift gives more value to submission than dominance, this also means that what is given, can be also taken away. It's nothing but role play. When a slave dictates terms, limits, and defines the dynamic, she is not the submissive one, the so called Dom who allows this is. Slavery is not about gifts, Princesses, littles or any other of the bullshit that the Fifty Shades crowd is trying to force on us. My friends, Slavery is simply about control. Who is in control? If you have to walk on eggshells around your slave, if you have to worry about upsetting your slave, if you have to consult your slave, Dude it's not you.

Now this is not a gripe about submissives, you are a different sort, a submissive is in control of their own life, who, what, when, where, why, and how long. These are not things a slave controls, this is what defines a slave and differentiates them from submissives. I am not looking for a submissive, so do not tell me you are a slave then make demands because you are not too pretty, too special, too anything for me to drop and move on. I am in control, period. I am certain not everyone agrees with me because somehow opinions in this world have become equivalent to facts, but I am not going to debate this with anyone. If you have issues, just move along and forget I exist.