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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Who'll Take Care of Me?

When I went to the doctor a week ago to follow-up on
blood work I’d had a week earlier, how could I possibly know that a few hours later I’d
be in a hospital bed getting prepped for surgery?It’s as my good friend once said: “You just
never know what’s going to happen.” She looked into my eyes and made that
statement ever-so-seriously just a few days before she died.

She’d been taken by surprise, too, when she visited a
doctor hoping to find a reason for not feeling well—something that could be
fixed—but unfortunately, there was no “fix” for her and she was taken from her
loving family much too soon.

I’m grateful that, this time at least, mine was not
nearly that serious. But, when you don’t tolerate sickness well – because
it’s an inconvenience – anything that takes you away from the way you like to
live your life is serious to you.

And so… as I’ve been recovering from my appendectomy
this past week, many things have gone through my mind. It was a virtual pity
party: Woe is me. I’ll never get through
it! Who’ll take care of me? Cook my meals? Do the grocery shopping? Keep the
house clean? Do the laundry? How long will it take to get well? I hate being down
like this! Whine, whine, whine!

I couldn’t pray. I felt like God wasn’t listening.
Sad state. But I knew others were praying for me, and hoped He was hearing
their prayers.

Sickness, surgery in particular, not only weakens your
body, but also your ability to think straight, I believe. I was
convinced that no one cared about me. My husband and children didn’t care. I
was miserable and they seemed utterly indifferent. People who’d always called
themselves my friends didn’t care either. I felt totally alone! It was a
terrible feeling.

But, of course, it was all in my mind as I lay in an
unfamiliar weakened state. Everyone, especially Mr. H., has been wonderful! I
was well fed and catered to in every possible way and I’m getting stronger every
day. I’ll be as good as new in a few days.

But I’ve had a lot of time to think and one question
keeps repeating in my mind.

First, I'm so sorry you've had such an ordeal. Surgery, no matter how small, is no picnic and you should take good care of yourself until you're 100% again. Now, to answer your question... No. I'm sure at the point of death we don't feel removed from God, but just the opposite... God Bless you, Peggy.