Regular sexual intercourse two or three times a week, usually Thursday nights after The Office and on the weekend; Saturday date night dinner at ethnic fusion restaurant whose assimilation of Southeast-Asian or Latin flavors one earnestly abridges with “wow.”

I live way out in the suburbs, perhaps not in my mother’s basement, but she is very close by. My favorite shirt is from the Hard Rock Cafe. I’m desperately afraid to try new things, in life, at work, and in bed.

You got your ears pierced at the Icing and shoplifted training bras from Limited Too. Your older sister Misty (or Krystal) had a long-term boyfriend who picked you up from school in a van. He once touched your boob at a Mighty Mighty Bosstones concert.