Science fiction meets my life, science fiction wins

Iím a big believer in proof. Call me cynical, modern, pig-headed, doesnít matter. Generally speaking, if I donít see proof of something, Iím probably not going to believe it. I suppose a good way to say all this is that Iím agnostic about everything.

Now sure, there are certain things ó evolution, love, the fact the Mets will never field a competitive team under the current ownership ó I need to take on faith. I ďbelieveĒ in evolution, but wasnít around to witness it through the ages. I ďbelieveĒ in love, though outside of the stomach flippy thing, I canít define it. As for the Mets, well, such is life.

So when my wife I slipped into different universes the other night, I was not prepared to accept it as truth. To say the least.

But, after thinking long and hard about it and confronting the evidence, itís clear: Something bananas went down and Iím pretty sure there are, indeed, parallel universes. A multiverse, if you will. And I have some personal proof.

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The only way to tell the story is to tell the story, so here goes. All the times are based on cell phone records, so theyíre legit. And youíre going to think the story is about our dog, but itís not, really. And itís kind of mundane until the end. Fair warnings, all around Ö

On Dec. 27 at at 4:57 p.m., I had the kids at Walmart and my wife called me, telling me the backyard gate was open and the dog was missing. Very bad. Olí Sparky is deaf and it was dark and frigid. She said she was going out looking for him, I said Iíll get the kids back in the car and do the same.

Over the next 15 minutes, I called the police to alert them (in case someone found our pup) and also spoke to my wife twice. (Again, cell phone logs. Looking at them as I write this.)

At 5:10 p.m., I was on the phone with my wife, and she was upset. She asked if I had told our son that Sparky was missing. I told her I did. The window for finding him safe and sound was closing. At 5:12 p.m., while still on the phone with my wife, I got a call from a ďweird number,Ē and told my wife maybe thatís someone calling to tell us they found him.

ďIíll call you right back,Ē I said.

We got lucky. As it turned out, a pair of teenage girls found him, looked at his tag, called me up, had him safe and sound. I told them Iíd be right there to get him.

I called my wife at 5:13 p.m., as soon as I hung up with the girls, to share the good news. Says so right there on my phone. Says the call lasted 26 seconds. It went like this.

ME: Hey babe, we Ö

WIFE: I have to call you right back.

ME: But we got him!

WIFE: Jeff, Iíll call you back.

I started to talk again, but there was no one there. Odd, I thought. (This is where the fabric of the universe starts to rip open. Hold on.)

I called my wife back at 5:16. No answer.

She called me at 5:17, I said we got him, everythingís fine, the end.

OK. With me so far? Now check this out Ö

About 45 minutes later, weíre eating dinner. I ask her what was so important at 5:13 that she had to call me back. She said, ďHuh?Ē I said, ďI told you I got the weird number, and I called you back and ÖĒ And my wife said that didnít happen. She said I never called her. She said she was, in fact, wondering why I didnít call her back after the ďweird number.Ē I said I did. She said I didnít, and accused me of calling her ďcrazy,Ē which was a solid accusation, as I had just said, ďWhat are you crazy?Ē

(And the universe rips open in 3 Ö 2 Ö 1 Ö)

I told her I had proof I called. ďJust look here at the phone log,Ē I said.

She looked. She saw I called. She saw it lasted 26 seconds. She still insisted it never happened. She went to get her phone. And Ö no record of the call.

To be clear: I claim to have called her at 5:13, and had a conversation, and have proof to back up this claim. She claims I never called, there was no conversation, and she also has the proof to back up her claim.

How is this possible? Well Ö I KNOW! EXACTLY! ITíS IMPOSSIBLE! But it happened. Parallel universe situation? Thatís what Iím going with. If anyone has a better idea, Iíd really love to hear it.

Weirdness all around though, no? And for the record, my wife begged me not to write this. She said Iíd come off as a ďnutball.Ē Well, nutball or not, thatís what happened.