Forgiveness – The Path To Freedom

March 9, 2017

Written for Psycle Inspire Magazine

Forgiveness is a very loaded and emotionally charged subject and much of the last year I spent pondering it. I was faced with various situations where practising forgiveness was absolutely necessary for me to move on unencumbered by the toxic wrath unforgiveness holds upon us. Forgiving others and forgiving ourself has to be one of the hardest things we can be faced with. When I am in the midst of unforgivenness it can be so all consuming and energy draining it makes one feel physically sick. Our ego mind so strongly wants to hold on to the hurt and anger we feel justifying why we shouldn’t forgive another. In these instances I have come to ask my higher self to help me see these situations from a higher perspective so I can let go of the defensiveness that is holding me rooted to a place that doesn’t make me feel good and certainly doesn’t make me thrive spiritually or practically. It’s a messy process, but the fruits of its deliverance are well worth riding the rocky wave back to forgiveness and ultimately freedom.

When we do not forgive we give away our power without realising it. We hold onto hurt and pain that we have already been struck with once, but to be continually struck by it is of our own doing. To me freedom and peace go hand in hand but we can not have either when embroiled in unforgiveness and it’s toxic pursuits. Justifying our pain by mentally punishing or resenting another or ourselves for that matter only keeps us imprisoned. As Nelson Mandela said ‘resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.’ When we can release this energy and stop finding value in guilt and blame we can be free.

But how can we do this you say?

When we can see things differently we can alleviate our suffering and make a call for our healing. As Wayne Dyer says ‘when we change the way we look at things the things we look at change.’ For example if someone has wronged me and I can recognise myself in them, if I can find compassion for them and see that what I perceive as their flaws or their wrong doing was in fact a call for love or a result of where they lack love I can start to release the blame. If I look at where others have caused me pain and I look beyond what feels to be their spite, I can see that their actions were fuelled by their belief in the illusion of their un-worthyness and their fear that they are not enough. In our willingness to see the goodness and innocence in others the universe will allow profound healing to occur.

They say time is a healer but I don’t believe this to be true since I can feel the pain for something that happened to me a decade ago as if it happened to me this morning. Healing and learning to forgive is really a matter of right mindedness and remembering that Love is the only healer since it is love that evaporates all illusions of separation. It is this illusory construct that we are disconnected beings that causes us to feel pain in the first place.

The book ‘A course in Miracles’ says that we are all innocent, it is our essence and therefore there is no such thing as sin in the eyes of god. If love is all that we are and at our core then forgiveness is also our natural state of being and anything other is merely a block to what and who we truly are.

Unforgiving thoughts create a dark abyss around our heart which keeps us from extending love to all. When we can hold loving thoughts to all and those that have wronged us it does not mean we condone their behaviour but it means we do not live in fear from the past. When we are scratching our wounds in the present from things that occurred in the past we cannot heal. It is truly the meaning we give to events that causes the sickness of mind inherent when we do not forgive. I believe the true key to forgiveness and our freedom is releasing the stories we attach to our interpretation of events and most importantly releasing judgement of another for in this judgement we block true forgiveness and stilt the flow of love and peaceful thought.

Ask yourself do I value my peace and freedom over suffering? Does arguing for someone’s guilt alleviate me from this pain? Let go of the ego construct that promotes separation, reverts us to victim hood and diminishes our true power.

Affirm ‘ I am willing to be free,’ ‘I am willing to see this situation through the eyes of unconditional love’ I am grateful for my capacity to love and my willingness to be free.’ You will notice your thoughts and feelings around the situation that triggers you to soften as the healing evolves and the barricades to love crumble.

There have been no truer words spoken than by Jesus when he said ‘condemn and you are made a prisoner. Forgive and you are freed.’ When we reclaim our own minds, remember we have choice and stand guard to the door of our psyche we can forgive in every sense and find freedom in every moment.