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Because I bought [a fake] one yesterday. And I would very much like to assemble and decorate it. My spouse shuddered when I posed the idea. I have a mantle this year and have already scored some brown [fake] velvet stockings from Ollie’s Bargain Outlet. We have a front porch and could deck it out with lights. I’ve purchased most of my holiday gifts already (yes, I know). It is time.

I argued that since he’s not home often, putting the tree up early would allow him to enjoy it more. He replied, “I heard Christmas music in the hospital today and wanted to scream.” Yes, seeing Christmas candy across from Halloween candy in CVS was disturbing, but it’s been a full two weeks. Only 5-6 weeks… surely that’s reasonable?

So, is he a scrooge or sensible? Am I disneyland-crazy over this consumer holiday or just getting in the spirit?