Come on, they were super cute cheering on their son Jaden while he was performing with Justin Bieber, right? Look, I have some problems with the Sci and the Smiths too, but right there, I don’t know that you can criticise parents who are just really, really excited to see their kid up there doing his thing. I’m sorry, I can’t sh-t on that.

What I will sh-t on though is Willow’s pre- show interview with Ryan Seacrest during which she said that it makes her happy when she hears her song on the radio because that means she’s changing people’s lives. The child is just 10. And gifted from every corner of the universe – by genes, by circumstance…how do you find something to be humble about when, at least on paper, there’s nothing to be humble about? This, thankfully, is not my problem to solve. Can you solve it as a celebrity though? A celebrity who is as mega famous as Will Smith?

Smith family judgment aside – I want Jada’s legs. Body too. And face, while we’re add it, let’s throw it all in. I mean, these two, they’re immune to the years, you know. I mean, if that’s how they mass marketed the Xenu Church, there might be less of a backlash. Eternal youth in exchange for a billion years of religious devotion? Please. That’s how you recruit Madonna.