Tantrums over clothes, mean behavior, but smart boy!

Krista - posted on 01/29/2014
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I have a 6 year old son. He can be very loving and helpful the majority of the time, but unfortunately, there are a few issues I just don't know how to cope with or help him with. First of all, he will only wear certain clothes (certain socks from Target, no jeans, long sleeve shirts with no cuffs, no tennis shoes only snow boots). If he puts something on and it doesn't fit right, he gets very upset. Sometimes I can get him to go back to his room and pick something else out and that may work. Other times, especially when we are running late, I ask him to just wear it and he then just throws a crazy fit about it. But, by then end of the day, after him wearing the unapproved piece of clothing, he's fine about it. Him going through this in the mornings before he goes to school usually ends up in arguments and so much frustration that the day just seems ruined. Ugg so confusing.

Another issue we have with him is his anger. He will get very upset, has a few troubles in school with not paying attention or listening, tries to get back with his older sister for revenge if something went wrong to him. So may issues to list. This only happens, really gets out of control, about 1 time a week.

I've read on ODD and Sensory disorder. I do not think he has such disorders. He isn't extreme by any means on either issue. I just would like to know from all of you, what have you done in the past to help your child? Anything I can be doing at home to help him? I try to appease him with his clothes (got rid of all of his jeans and socks that he didn't like). What about discipline? Implement more duties and chores? What is best? I don't have the $ to have him treated by a psy. I want to help him be his best. He's a super smart child also (confirmed by his teacher as being highest in his class) and as I stated before, can be super sweet and caring and totally aware of his surroundings and how he can help around the house. Please, any advice is welcome. Let me know if there are any questions.

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Sarah - posted on 01/29/2014

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I would talk to your doc. There might be something going on that may need further attention. You don't have to be extreme to have OCD or sensory issues. I have sensory issues with my hands.....nothing major or not allowing me to function....just have to find ways to work around it. For example if tags on clothes bother him buy clothes that don't have tags. His behavior with his clothes really does seem like a sensory issue. Those with a sensory issue will often through a fit if something does not feel right. If it does not feel right it is really uncomfortable and in some situations may even hurt. You want it to be gone or fixed. Over time he may just deal with the issue.

I would also have him evaluated by AEA....u can get connected with them through ur school. They will do an evaluation for free and if they find that some of their services could help him those are often times free as well.

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â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 01/29/2014

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First of all, don't give in to his fits. If he chooses a piece of clothing and then has a fit about it, tough. He chose.

Second, make sure that you are giving consistent consequences for poor behaviour. NEVER tolerate it "because we're late" or "because we're in public". Consistent consequences make a world of difference to a 6 year old.

Finally, if you already apply the above, then have him evaluated for a possible social or learning disorder.