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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I’m “confessing” this on behalf of a former friend, former best friend to be exact. While the situation is real, I am changing the names to protect the guilty.

I met Dina, who needed a new job, through a friend. I was about to start a new job as the Media Director at a large ad agency’s direct marketing division. I was looking to hire. Dina, a couple of years older than I was, had no experience but was smart and personable. So I hired her, happy to train her.

Dina was very charming and it wasn’t long before we became best friends. I watched over her at work, but she was smart and caught on quickly. Soon we were producing the best media plans in the business and our reputation grew.

Dina and I were inseparable, spending weekend time together, laughing until we cried, confiding in each other about the men in our lives as I was single at the time. I relied on her friendship, advice and companionship. I was happy.

Our friendship grew over two years before trouble began brewing. I had no idea what was going on because I was naïve to the point of stupid. I don’t know when it started, but Dina began having an affair with Marvin, the married president of our company and I knew nothing about it, although probably everyone else in the company did.

Who would think the affair was her form of job security? Dina began to challenge me and move away from our friendship. She knew I wouldn’t approve of what she was doing if I knew. I didn’t know what was happening. I was hurt but continued to support her, not realizing she was highly competitive with me. Boy was I dumb. Once you made it into my heart, I couldn’t accept you were going to stab me in the back. I actually missed her…what a dope!

The relationship continued to deteriorate. An opportunity came up for her at another agency and I encouraged her to take it. I admit it wasn’t totally unselfish on my part. I wanted her out of my department because her often juvenile, junior high school antics were getting to me.

She left and found she couldn’t handle the job. The man who hired her who had been her good friend turned on her and she was miserable. During this time, my agency hired a man to oversee me and my department, making me unhappy. I had no respect for him, which made my work environment untenable. I began to look for another job.

I don’t remember when or why I told Dina, who kept up some form of friendship because she still needed my help handling her job. But I did. Me, schmuck of the year, told Dina I had a job interview with another agency.

Marvin was a great boss except for one thing. He took it personally if you were looking for another job. He felt it was disloyal, even if he cut me off at the knees, he expected me to take it. So I kept it quiet, except for Dina. Dummy! Then it came. My new “boss” called me in and fired me for some trumped up reason. I called Marvin to protest, he said to me,

“Better on our terms than your terms,” his exact words.

I knew immediately he found out I was looking for another job and I knew where he heard it because Dina was the only person who knew. Dina told him. So after four years, I was out on my butt. Dina avoided me like the plague. I ceased talking to her, but found out it wasn’t long before she was back working at my agency and sleeping with Marvin.

A year or two later, Dina approached me to rekindle our friendship. She confessed to the affair with Marvin and apologized to me for ratting me out. She knew it would get me fired. By then an apology didn’t matter because I could never trust her again…ever. Even to this day, I know she would welcome friendship from me. I can’t do it. I could never intentionally get someone fired and pretend to be their friend.

1 comment:

The saying "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" is true. A woman I worked with once and thought we were best friends, tried to steal my job. She'd make mistakes and blame me for it. People believed her because she was a great liar. When I finally saw what she was doing, I called her on it. She denied it of course. I eventually left that job on my terms, and she took over. Well, everyone who had thought things were my fault were rudely shocked to discover she was incompetent. I did not go back when they asked. And I'll never trust her again even though I know human beings can change, I still won't. I recently bumped into her. We haven't spoken in 9 years and she hugged me as if we were old friends. Really? I got away from her so fast before I puked! I don't blame you for what you did. I've done the same thing.