Published 4:00 am, Saturday, April 29, 1995

The state Court of Appeal played the role of frustrated parent on Thursday, striking down part of a court order that told the ex-wife of Los Angeles Dodger pitcher Tom Candiotti not to spread nasty gossip about his current wife.

The court in San Francisco said it wished it could force the squabbling adults to be civil to each other. But it said free speech protections in the California Constitution allow them to say almost anything they want to other people, as long as Candiotti's children do not hear.

"It is certainly in the best interests of any children of divorce that the adults in their lives act in a mature and courteous manner," Justice Carol Corrigan wrote for the court. "For better or ill, such outcomes may be beyond the power of mortal third parties to accomplish."

The case began in 1992, when Debra and Tom Candiotti divorced after an 11-year marriage. Debra took their two children, and Tom married Donna Beck in 1993. All the parties live near Danville.

The divorce proceedings went smoothly until the subject of driving the children around town came up. Debra asked for "personal information" about Donna, including "driving records and any criminal history," according to the court's opinion.

Tom and Donna said Debra wanted the information just to keep Donna from driving the children.

Contra Costa Superior Court Judge Patricia Sepulveda approved the request, but ordered Debra not to share information about Donna's past with anyone other than people directly in-

volved with the case. Debra protested, arguing that the restrictions violated her free-speech rights and kept her from protecting the children.

Sepulveda refused to budge, however, scolding the parties for fighting so much and saying the children's interest in not hearing disparaging remarks from the "rumor mill" overrode Debra's rights.

In a 3-to-0 ruling, the appeals court said Sepulveda had gone too far. She could only order Debra not to disclose information obtained through the court process. Information from other sources could not be restricted.

Otherwise, wrote Corrigan, Debra would be prevented "from talking privately to her family, friends, co-workers or perfect strangers about her dissatisfaction with her children's living situation."

Corrigan acknowledged the lower court's "power to prevent Debra from undermining Thomas' parental relationship by alienating the children from Donna," but the order "was much more far-reaching."

Corrigan said Debra's remarks "may be rude or unkind. They may be motivated by hostility. To the extent they are libelous, they may be actionable." But they do not affect the children directly enough to justify a violation of Debra's free speech, the justice wrote.