'Prince' Joe Eboh contacts me with a classic 419 opening letter.
I decide to make him jump through a few hoops before I'm prepared
to agree to his proposition, and the results are amusing AND profitable,
to the tune of $80 + $49 DHL shipping, so our scammer is down a
whopping total of $129

I am fine today and how are you? I hope this letter will find
you in the best of health. I am Prince Joe Eboh, the Chairman of
the Contract Award Committee, of the Niger Delta
Development Commission (NDDC), a subsidiary of the Nigerian
National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC).

The Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) was set up by
the late Head of State, General Sani Abacha who died on 18th June
1998, to manage the excess revenue accruing from the sales of Petroleum
and its allied products as a domestic increase in the petroleum
products to develop the communities in the Niger Delta Oil producing
areas. The estimated annual revenue for 1999 was $45 Billion US
Dollars Ref. FMF A26 Unit 3B Paragraph D of the Auditor
General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria Report of Nov. 1999 on
estimated revenue.

I am the Chairman of the Contract Award Committee, and my committee
is solely responsible for awaiting and paying of contracts on behalf
of the Federal Government of Nigeria. My Committee Awarded Contracts
to foreign contractors for Drilling and Ecological Matters in the
oil producing areas of Niger Delta. We overshot the contract sum
by US$25,000,000.00. We have paid the contractors and withholding
the balance of US$25,000, 000.00. But, because of the existence
of some of the domestic laws forbidding civil servants in Nigeria
from opening, operating and maintaining foreign accounts, we do
not have the expertise to transfer this balance of fund to a foreign
account.

However, this balance of US$25,000, 000.00 has been secured
in form of Credit/Payment to a foreign contractor, hence we wish
to transfer into your bank account as the beneficiary of the fund.
We have also arrived at a conclusion that you will be given 20%
of the total sum transferred as our foreign partner, while 5% will
be reserved for incidental expenses that both parties will incur
in the course of actualizing this transaction, and the balance of
75% will be kept for the committee members.

If you know that you will be capable of helping us actualize
this transaction, you should send to me immediately the details
of your bank particulars or open a new bank account where we can
transfer the money US$25,000, 000.00, which you will be holding
in trust for us until we come to your country for our share. Your
nature of business does not matter in this transaction. The required
details includes your companys name, address, your private
personal telephone/fax numbers, your full name and address, including
your complete bank details where the transferred fund will be routed
by the Apex Bank.

Note that this transaction is expected to be actualized within
21 working days from the day the required details are forwarded
to the Federal Ministry of Finance who will approve the needed foreign
exchange control allocation for the release of this money to your
account. Please, treat this as top secret. You should contact me
urgently.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Yours faithfully,

Prince Joe Eboh

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development
London SW

Dear Sir,

My thanks for your very interesting email below. I would dearly
love to help you however my ministry forbids me from entering any
business deal with partners who are not part of our faith. I am
sorry but there is nothing more I can do for you.

If you ever decide to join our faith then of course I could help
you both with my experience and financial support.

I wish you well in your endeavour my brother.

Blessings,

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development - Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast.

If joining your faith is what it takes to help me of course, I am
ready to joing you. I'm from a good christian family. I will do
anything you want me to do in the faith. Don't forget that I have
to transfer the money to your account as urgently as possible. Send
me your account details. I hope to read your mail soon.

Prince Joe Eboh.

[Excellent! Time to put my dastardly plan into action]

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear brother Eboh,

Bless you for your prompt reply and may the lord God almighty send
you many blessings (Amen).

My brother, it is wonderful that you are considering joining our
church, you will be most welcome in our Holy order.

My brother, of course you will have to prove your commitment to
our ministry. This will require you to send us a photograph of yourself
showing part of the commitment ceremony that we will require (this
is very simple), and you will also have to sign our Order of The
Red Breast induction agreement form. The agreement form is very
simple and only requires your name and signature.

If you are in agreement to our terms above, please signify it to
us as soon as possible and I shall arrange to give you the complete
instructions for the photograph and agreement form.

As soon as you have been inducted to our order then we can proceed
with your business proposition immediately.

Please note that we cannot agree to any form of communication other
than email until after you have been inducted to our church.

Blessings,

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development - Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast.

Peace be unto you in the name of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ
Amen. I'm in agreement with your terms. I will adhere strictly to
your instructions. Send me a comprehensive instruction for the photograph
and agreement.

Do not forget that this transaction is between us and I can
assure you that the ministry is going to benefit from it especially
now that I am a member. I hope to read your mail soon.

Stay blessed.

Prince Joe Eboh.

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear brother Eboh,

Bless you for your interest in our church, and below you will find
the complete induction procedure. First of course you will need
to know a little more about our ministry.

Our ministry was founded in 1774 by a wonderful lady by the name
of Betsy Carrington (I have attached a photograph of her for your
records). She spent many of her first preaching years in Kenya,
spreading the holy gospel amongst the local people there.

She was the first person male or female to promote Christian texts
and beliefs to the Masai warrior tribe. The most famous account
is when as a test she had to remove the top part of her clothes
and paint the top half of her body and breast with the red Masai
warpaint as a gesture of faith and belief to them so that they would
accept her and trust her. She was almost immediately accepted by
them and was one of the most trusted westerners known at that time.

In her later years she returned to England and started her own
ministry Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast and was very
active until her sad death in 1861.

As a qualification to enter the Holy Church of The Order of The
Red Breast, all followers must go through the initiation procedure
that Miss Carrington made so famous. Of course in these modern times,
female members do not have to paint their breast. They only need
to make the symbol on their stomachs. However, all males must still
show commitment to the church by having the symbol of the church
marked on their breasts.

My brother, this is what you will need to do in order to complete
the church induction ceremony:

You must remove your shirt and then paint/draw in red, the symbols
of our church. So that you know exactly how the symbol must look,
I have attached a photograph of four of our young inductees going
through the procedure. Please use this picture to enable you to
make the same marking on yourself. I have also attached a small
picture showing the design in more detail.

Next you will need to have a HIGH QUALITY photograph taken and
sent it to us my email attachment.

Once your photograph has been received we will then forward you
the induction certificate. All this requires is your name and signature.
Once you have signed and dated it, please send it back to me by
email attachment.

After that you will then be a full member of our beloved ministry
and as well as being able to do business with you we can also offer
financial help to you in the future if you ever need it. Our church
is committed to helping any members in whatever way is possible.
If you ever need money for charitable purposes, then you just need
to contact us and quote your member number and we can arrange payments
to you within 24 hours.

I look forward to welcoming you into our membership my brother.

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development - Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast.

Our most Holy Betsy Carrington.

Courtesy of PhotoShop - A Church of The painted Breast Induction
photograph.

Sorry for the delay in sending my photograph. I was away from office
to the capital city on official assignment. Attached is my photograph.
I'm not only interested in becoming a member of this church but
to also establish a branch of the church here in Nigeria.

I'm looking forward to receive the forms so that I can fill
it and send back to you immediately. Remember father that this business
is to be rounded up as soon as possible after which we will now
talk on how to have a brach established here in Nigeria. I hope
to hear from you soon. Thanks

Prince Joe Eboh.

[The 'Prince' attaches his induction photograph,
and it's a doozy!]

Looks like you had a few too many burgers there Joe

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear brother Eboh,

My thanks for your picture which has been received and confirmed
this morning.

I am very happy to tell you that now you are halfway through your
induction procedure. All that is required is that you sign and return
the induction agreement form. Unfortunately, as you may know, today
May 3rd is a Bank Holiday here in England, so the holy fathers are
not assembled today. I will send you the agreement form tomorrow.
Once you have signed and returned it to me then we can more swiftly
on to your business proposition.

Expect to hear from me tomorrow morning.

God bless you.

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development - Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast.

[The day after, and I send Eboh his induction Agreement form]

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear Brother Eboh,

Good afternoon to you my brother, and I hope that this email finds
you in good health.

My brother, please print out the attachment to this email. This
contains your final agreement form. Once you have completed the
agreement form then you will become a full member of our holy order.
You have been assigned what we call a "guru" to help you
in the future if you need it. He will offer you advice and help
whenever you need it. His name is Father Metimbers, and he will
contact you when we have finished our business together.

Please sign your full name on all the areas of the agreement form
which are underlined. This includes the 7 rules also. Then, write
the date in the area provided and send the agreement for to us.
Please ensure that you send the agreement back to us scanned to
a good and clear size.

Once we have received the form and checked it over you will them
receive a welcome letter to our church, and of course, we can quickly
proceed onto your business proposition.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Blessings.

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development - Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast.

I want to thank the almighty God himself for the opportunity
I have to be a member of this great church The Holy Church Of The
Painted Breast. Im looking forward to establishing a branch
of the Church here. But Ill like us to finish everything about
the business proposal, which I sent to you earlier. Im a government
functionary my status is very delicate thats why Im
careful about any business I engage myself in.

I will need a Bank Account where I will transfer the money as
soon as we are through with the induction. Attached is the Agreement
Form. Thanks for your cooperation.

Brother Joe Eboh.

Joe attaches my signed agreement form, which
looks like a scan of a fax, but it'll do!

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development
London SW

Dear brother Eboh,

May I take this opportunity to welcome you officially as a member
of Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast. Please send me your
full mailing address and I will post you some detailed information
and brochures about our church.

Now to your business proposition. Please will you forward me instructions
on exactly how you wish to proceed with this deal.

Blessings,

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development - Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast.

I must thank you for your swift response. Here is the mailing
address:

297 IKORODU ROAD,
LAGOS, NIGERIA. Send the brochure Ill receive it.

About our deal, Ill like you to send me a name that will
serve as your companys name or a letter headed paper that
serves as your companys name. I will register the name with
the corporate affairs commission Federal Republic Of Nigeria after
which the ministries of finance will approve the payment. Second,
send me a bank account where the money will be transferred.

I will also need your banks phone/ fax numbers, your personal
phone/fax numbers. Im processing the necessary documents that
will facilitate this deal as urgently as possible. This money will
be in your account in two weeks after which I will come to England
so that we can sit-down and discuss some important issues. Thanks
for your cooperation.

Brother Eboh.

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development
London SW

Dear brother Eboh,

Thanks for your email and it was rather super to hear from you again.
God almighty it is really that time? Anyway, please find attached
my details which you asked for. I hope they are to your satis....faction.

I'd just like to say, on a personal note, that I am thrilled that
you have now joined our church brother Eboh, and I look forward
to meeting with you and here's hoping we can get stoned together.

I must end this email now as my brother Pastor Risedmilc needs some
urgent help with a housing project that we are partners together
with.

Blessings,

Father Hector Barnett
Financial Development - Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast.

Thanks for your mail. I have forwarded your application for
approval of this payment in your name to the Central Bank Of Nigeria
and other ministries. The most important thing is that I am going
to register your name with Corporate Affairs Commission Federal
Republic Of Nigeria to enable me obtain your certificate which will
be sent to you. The certificate will cost money and which will enable
me to get some approvals from the ministry of finance and NNPC /
NDDC. All these documents will be backdated to show that you executed
this contract in the year, 1990.

The contract number has been given to me and it is as follows:
NNPC/NDDC/PED  10 / 470 / 1990. I received the number days
ago from Nigerian National Petroleum corporation (NNPC). As you
can see, we have come to the heart of this business. I want you
to cooperate with me so that we will have a platform where we are
both beneficiaries of this transaction. I have received your Bank
details and phone/fax numbers but I'll still need your personal
fax number. Thanks for your cooperation.

Brother Joe Eboh.

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear Brother Joe,

God bless your little cotton sox and how are you this glorious day?

Thank you for fixing the email problem, and now I am sure that we
can proceed briskly.

Please can I ask that if any one of your representatives contacts
ask them to quote the password "Pappa's Got a Brand New Bag"
on all future emails so that I will know for sure that the email
is associated with you. This is very important because I do receive
many emails every day, and especially now as it is Tribble season
things get very busy indeed.

My personal FAX number is 44 7012 674 XXXX

Brother Joe, I thank the good Lord JC himself for allowing me to
introduce you to our wonderful church (amen). For your contemplation,
here is a prayer which we in the Church of The Red Breast always
say twice a day. It helps to ease the mind and clear our thoughts
for the day ahead:

When all around you is misery and pain.
When you are caught in wind and rain.

When people star and gaze with fear.
When people say things rather queer.

When the love of Betsy fills your soul.
When Shiver Metimbers scores a goal.

When the bait of doom hangs nearby.
When the end of modalities makes you wonder why.

When all above seems a great test.
Get on down with the Holy Red Breast.

I'm very happy to hear that you received my last e-mail to you.
I'm also thankful to God for the official introduction of my ownself
to our wonderful church. I have said the prayer this morning and
immediately I finished, something like a fountain went down my system
making me to feel strong & happy.[That would be complete
bullshit, wouldn't it Joe?!] As a matter of fact, I can't
wait to round up this deal so that I can come over to England to
see you face to face. Can I have your photograph?

I have spent money to process all the necessary documents for the
transfer of this fund. Note that the documents bear your name as
the contractor. What remains now is the registration of your name
as the contractor who executed the contract. The ministry of finance
will not approve this payment until Im able to register your
companys name with the corporate affairs commission Federal
Republic of Nigeria who will issue a certificate to certify that
your company executed this contract in the year, 1990.

The registration will cost $18,000.00. Which I need urgently
because everything about this transaction and the draft is in your
name. Ive spent a lot of money already to process the relevant
documents. I will need your assistance this time around as regards
the registration. The commission will register your name and then,
the ministry of finance will approve the payment and the cash will
be in your account in less than two weeks. The contract number is
NNPC/NDDC/PED  10 / 470 / 1990. Every thing about this deal
should be strictly confidential until we round up please. Thanks
for your cooperation.

Brother Joe Eboh

[Lets see if there's any chance I can get some cash out of my
pet]

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear brother Joe,

Many thanks for your email and I do apologise for the late reply
but we have been inducting many new members to our church. As you
have requested, please find attached my photograph. The lady in
the photograph with me is Sister Annette Kurtain.

I think I understand your explanation of the facts brother Eboh,
but may I ask one question? Will I be required to pay the full amount
of $18,000.00? The money is not too much of a problem for me as
I am in the financial development section of our church, however,
all withdrawals of $10,000.00 and above require a clearance certificate
and clearance fee ($80).

Because the money you require will not be spent on a church project,
I am not allowed to pay the clearance fees. If you wish me to pay
the entire $18,000.00 registration costs, then I am afraid that
I will have to ask you to send me the clearance fee. Once I have
the clearance fee, sending you the $18,000.00 registration fee will
be a very simple matter, and can be done within 8 hours of receiving
the clearance fee.

Obviously to keep things secret and confidential it will be better
not to have any paperwork at my end associated with this transaction,
so I would suggest that the most secret and secure way to pay clearance
fee would be in cash, that way no paperwork will be discovered here
that may possibly ruin this deal.

Thanks for your prompt response. I have been saying the prayer as
instructed by our great church and it will interest you to know
that each time I say the prayer, I feel rejuvenated. I received
your photograph as well as that of Sister Kutain. I decided to attach
my personal photograph again for your view.

Father, I want you to understand the fact that I have invested a
lot of money into this deal, what ever expenses you incur shall
be given back to you. I will at this point implore you to assist
me. You can pay/send this money on two installments so that there
wont be much need for the clearance fee. All the documents have
gone through the appropriate legal progressions and they all bear
your name. what remains now is the certificate of incorporation
and that's where the money I requested plays an important role.
Find bellow the account where you are to send the money. The account
was given to me yesterday by the coporate affaires commission. According
to them, that is the agent that receives money on their behalf.

[At this point Joe supplied details of a bank account to
transfer the $18,000 into. I'll publish this once the bait is over]

Thanks for your cooperation.

Brother Joe Eboh.

[Joe sends me a picture which I have already seen before as
it was first sent to a fellow scambaiter some days ago!]

[You're not getting your cash so easily Joe]

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear brother Joe,

Thank you so much for your wonderful photograph and bless you for
your quick reply.

My brother, the content of your email is fully understood, but I
must point out some things to you before we can proceed in this
deal.

The total amount that you are requiring me to invest is $18,0000.00.
Now this is absolutely not a problem, and I can easily gather this
amount. However, even in two installments as you advise, the total
withdrawal amount will be over $10,000 so the clearance fee has
to be paid. Let me try to explain to you exactly how the church
withdrawal system works.

As an example, if I needed to withdraw $12,000 I would have to
pay the Clearance Fee. If I pay the clearance fee in anything other
than cash, I have to fill out another certificate which is called
a "Usage & Certification certificate". The Usage &
Certification certificate states in great detail what the payment
is to be used for. I have to get every stage of the payment stamped
and authorised, and the money has to be proven to have been used
for the original purpose. The person to whom the money is being
provided MUST sign the Usage & Certification certificate IN
PERSON at our church headquarters in London. This is an added security
measure to ensure the payment is going to be used for its intended
purpose.

Now, if the Clearance Fee is paid in cash, then there is no need
to complete the Usage & Certification certificate. Also, I do
not need to explain to the church committee for what purpose the
funds are for. This will give us both a much higher level of security
as you have already advised me that it is vital that we keep this
business deal totally secret. If I have to complete the Usage &
Certification certificate then there will be at least 23 other people
who will know about our plans.

For amounts under $10,000 a Clearance Fee is still required, and
the charge is dependent on the total amount required.

So you see brother Eboh, there is no way around the $80 Clearance
Fee I am afraid, and unless you are able to come to London to sign
the Usage & Certification certificate and you want to keep this
deal secret then you will have to send the fee in cash. If you can
do this, please let me know and I will forward you my private home
address so that we can ensure secrecy throughout.

Once I receive the Clearance Fee then the transfer if the $18,000.00
will take only a matter of a couple of hours.

Thanks for your swift reply. The contents of your mail was understood.
I'll like you to forward your private home address to me. Father,
we are already partners in this deal therefore, I will be glad if
you use your personal money to pay for the clearance fee on my behalf.
You will get back every money you invest. As soon as this money
is released, I will come to London to visit our church and to discuss
with you some personal issues. Give me an address where I can get
you.

I want to also remind you that I've been expecting the brochure
and other boolets you said you were going to send. Thanks for your
cooperation.

Brother Joe Eboh.

[I already guessed Joe would ask me to pay the fee myself, so
I had a pre-prepared excuse at the ready]

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear brother Joe,

Thank you for your quick reply.

I am sorry, but I cannot pay the Clearance Fee for you. As the
rector of my church, I am not given wages or salary of any kind.
My home is provided by the church, and all my other utility bills
(electricity/telephone/food etc.) are provided for by the church,
so I am sorry but I do not have the money to make the payment for
you.

[Let's scare Joe into the prospect of me giving up in this deal]

I am sorry my brother, but it indeed seems that I will be unable
to help you. I am unable to pay the $80 for you, so if you are unable
to send the payment to me yourself then I do not think that we can
go forward in this deal. It is a great shame, as I am sure that
you would have done much wonderful and Godly work with the money.
[If you count buying televisions, stereos, drugs, computers and
whores as Godly work]

Unless you can send the payment yourself in cash then I see now
way that we can proceed. Considering that you are expecting me to
send you $18,000.00 (eighteen thousand US dollars) I think that
$80 is a very small amount to ask in return. Being that you are
Chairman of the Contract Award Committee I am sure you will
have no problem finding such a small amount as $80.

Remain blessed for your response. I'm in the office that's the reason
I have free access to the internet. In that case, tell me how I
should send the $80 to you. Do not forget to send me your personal
home address. Blessing.

Brother Joe Eboh.

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear brother Joe,

Please find my personal address below.

May I suggest that the best way to send the money would be to hide
it inside something like a wedding/birthday card, maybe even one
of your local newspapers, and send it by a fast courier such as
FedEx, DHL or perhaps you have a local courier that you could use.

Also, if you could enclose a letter repeating the full instructions
for the transfer of the $18,000 so that I can move immediately to
do it as soon as your payment is received.

My private home address is as follows:

Hector Barnett
xxxxxx xxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxx
xxxx xxxx
UNITED KINGDOM

Please advise me of the tracking number and courier as soon as you
can. I will ensure that I am home to collect the payment and your
transfer instructions.

I went to DHL office to send the money as you have instructed. They
told me that they don't accept cash but I managed to persuade them
before they accepted it. You should expect it by monday because
according to them it will take two days. The tracking number is
353196XXXX.

Remain blessed.

Brother Joe Eboh

[Joe attaches a crappy scan of the shipping receipt, but a quick
check at the DHL website shows it's legit!]

From: Father Hector Barnett
To: Prince Joe Eboh

Dear brother Joe,

Bless you for sending the information, and I will ensure I am available
to you all day on Monday should the cash arrive as expected.

I must thank you for the support you have been giving me. The number
I sent to you is the Air way bill number they did not provide any
other number other than that. I'm also happy to hear thay you'll
be home on monday to receive the cash.

I'm still expecting the brochure you said you will send. [OOPS!
I Forgot about that!]