Someone posted a “you might be a redneck if” style rant against liberals and I decided to waste 20 minutes responding – thought I’d post it for you all to enjoy:

“If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally …you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

Uh, you CAN be arrested for living here illegally. I think this article was written by an idiot.

“If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

I didn’t know schools performed abortions…

“If the only school curriculum allowed to explain how we got here is evolution, but the government stops a $15 million construction project to keep a rare spider from evolving to extinction … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

This is the equivalent of saying “schools want us to think gravity is a LAW but when I try to throw my kids off a building the police stop me!” That something is a part of nature does not make it good or good in all circumstances. There is no contradiction.

“If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor or check out a library book, but not to vote who runs the government … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

Voter ID is based on the social security system – one SS number, one vote. This is why you can vote with anything that requires a SSN, like a utility bill. Requiring people to provide additional redundant ID (which only requires a SSN to get) doesn’t prevent election fraud at all and only results in poor people, seniors and veterans being turned away from the polls on election day.

“If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

I actually agree with this one (the second half) though it is comparing apples and oranges. No one who knows how to use a gun needs more than ten rounds to protect themselves.

“If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

This law was lampooned by people on the right and the left and is not the partisan issue conservatives make it out to be. Though 24 ounce sodas probably kill more people than terrorists. Stupid law, but an important issue.

“If an 80-year-old woman can be stripped searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

Yeah! The government should be racist and hassle minorities! Lets go back to the days of our genius founders where we shackled and raped foreigners and worked them to death. Pure genius!

“If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more …you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

It makes about as much sense as going on a diet when you’re starving to death.

“If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher’s “cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

I don’t think a seven year old can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is cute, nor does tolerance of gay students mean holding orgies or porn viewings in the classroom as you seem to imply.

“If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested “homes”… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

Neglect and abuse are both illegal.

“If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion,”

Those taxes make it possible to achieve that success to begin with. Or do you think you could run a factory if there were no public schools and therefore no one to hire that can read, write and do math? Or no public roads to get to the factory or get your goods to the people who need them or public transportation for your employees to get to your factory, or minimum wage so the average person can afford to buy your product ect? Conservatives see the taxes going out of their paycheck but they ignore all the immense benefits that come back to them because of those taxes. Taxes allow civilization to exist at all, which is why they have existed for thousands of years.

“while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing and free cell phones … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

Yeah lets cut loose every poor person in america when unemployment is the highest it’s been since the great depression. A small portion of them will find jobs (because for most of them there just aren’t jobs right now) and the rest will break into your house and steal from your neighborhood store to keep from starving to death, which will cost you vastly more money in criminal prosecutions, personal losses and higher store rates than it would’ve cost to have some compassion and help the least fortunate like a human being. And the cell phone thing is because you need a phone to get a job these days, nobody’s going to hire someone over snail mail. It also gives them access to things like 911 so that if their house is on fire they can get the fire department to put it out before it burns down half the neighborhood.

“If the government’s plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

Requiring people to apply for work over and over and over when there are no jobs for most of them is counterproductive and causes what’s called learned helplessness, it psychologically trains them to feel helpless which promotes entrenched poverty even after recessions are over. And forcing them to apply at the same places over and over doesn’t have any positive effect, it doesn’t magically make new jobs appear. As for unemployment be a fucking human being. Do you think people aren’t working right now because food stamps are just so awesome?

“If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”

Owning a gun dramatically increases your risk of accidental shootings, homicide and suicide to the point that you are literally more likely to take a bullet yourself or kill an innocent person than you are to be killed by an attacker. Guns do not, overall, make us safer and have resulted in roughly a million deaths over the past few decades.

“If the only school curriculum allowed to explain how we got here is evolution, but the government stops a $15 million construction project to keep a rare spider from evolving to extinction … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.”lolwat