CEOs: Super Robots of Profit Generation or Poker Players Who Just Need a Home?

CEO Poker has announced that it will be holding a NL tourney for…wait for it…CEOs at the Palms hotel in Vegas, Oct. 22-27. The event should feature over 300 CEO‚Äôs from the world of the Internet, Industry, Real Estate, and Fortune 500 companies.

Snake sent me the relevant links this morning from the website and clips from the press release with his favorite bits highlighted and, since I get bored a lot and rarely have anything ‚Äúbetter‚Äù to do on any given Monday morning, I wrote a rant in response. As we all know, the only way to make your own job feel better is to make other people‚Äôs work look stupid.

And…begin:

1. "CEOs are people too and World CEO Entertainment wants to make sure that the public gets to see this first hand via unique events and television shows," ‚Äì from http://www.ceopoker.net/williamperaza.htm

CEO’s aren’t people they are super-robots of profit generation who live lives that we can only imagine, and that the entities that comprise Wicked Chops Enterprises, LLC live on a daily basis.

Before I get to the website, it just occurred to me: Aren’t Snake or Addict or Chops technically the CEOs of Wicked Chops Enterprises, LLC? Were they not invited? Will the entities that blah, blah, blah abide such a slight without writing a scathing editorial about this farce of an event? (Apparently, I am doing their dirty work)

So the website…apparently CEO Poker isn’t so much into creating a website that may remotely look like it caters to the executive crowd. Maybe if the CEOs were in middle-school, and this was their computer class project, then yeah, it would cater to them, but from what I can tell, that’s not the case. Also, you can’t click through any of their "sponsor" logos. That’s fantastic. I’m sure Palms and Bluff are ecstatic about that (I think I‚Äôve provided more links to them in this post than CEO Poker does on their site, I‚Äôm also willing to be sponsored‚Ä¶.call me). I can’t believe they can’t even title their page or run spell check. First-class, all the way.

And is it just me, or does this guy, William Peraza, not exactly look like he’s successfully CEO’d many businesses? Extra points though for the Barbara Walters/Martha Stewart fuzzy/dreamy background in the pic.

3. Nice press release: "Poker is hotter than golf," says [PR guy] Gomez. "Poker is now the third-most-watched televised sport on cable TV, trailing only auto racing and football. ||| Over 50 million people ‚Äì roughly one-in-five Americans ‚Äì play poker in the United States; making it more popular than other sports such as golf, billiards, or tennis.

Do they have something specifically against golf? Now given, I‚Äôm not sure when the release was written but it was sent out today and, according to the US Census Bureau, as of 14:49 GMT the current population of the US is 299, 530, 540 million. This would make 50 million Americans roughly (and not all that roughly really) 1 in 6 of the total population. Those kinds of math skills does not a CEO make.

4. $1500 buy-in!!! That’s like, enormous! This could become the new "big game"… that‚Äôs like free poker for CEO‚Äôs.

Quick idea: There should be satellites for other board members to play. I can hear the play by play, "the COO, who won his way in through a $150 satellite, will be going up against the CEO at this final table. Will this become a ‘hostile takeover’?" (I‚Äôm sorry for writing that, I really am.) On that note, who should be the commentators for the event? Hellmuth, Kaplan, Gordon….Gates?

5. Mark Sennet will be executive producer for the show and has a list of relatively impressive accomplishments‚Ä¶ but why mention Dr. Vegas???

Sennet has also sold the series Rock n’ Roll Mama, an original idea that he developed with his writing partner Joel Levin. They are set to write and executive produce it for the Fox network. The series will star Paula Abdul as a mother who goes on tour as the lead singer in her son’s band.

I heard that the band is gonna cover "Opposites Attract" and her son will be dressed up as the dancing cartoon cat….*