Guess Who Has the Longest Sex in America?

Because nothing says erotic like the words "Big Data," there is now an app to measure the frequency and duration (and apparently volume, sheesh!) of your sexual romps in the boudoir. The Spreadsheets, an app created by Ardenturous Labs in Santa Monica, CA, is supposed to be a "fun" way to track your average, peak, and aggregate sexual performance. And of course, since this is the 21st century and Big Brother, Little Brother, That Cousin You Met Once On That Trip To Colorado Springs, and pretty much every other branch of the data collecting family is watching, The Spreadsheets went ahead and shared the statistical data of its 10,000 early adopters in order to, among other things, find out which U.S. state kills it most in the sack. And the answer is, drum roll please...New Mexico?

That’s right, the state until now mostly known for its top-secret alien research and proliferation of turquoise jewelry is apparently chalk full of sexual dynamos who average 7:01 minutes in the sack. Who knew New Mexicans were so virile? And their lead over second place, West Virginia—who came in at 5:38—is nearly a minute and a half. And the first blue state after New Mexico is Michigan at number 6 (4:14). In fact, only three of the top ten states on this list are blue, which, by our highly scientific conclusion, means that Republicans are having way better sex than Democrats. We should probably just blame Obamacare. California came in at 32, so while all of those movie stars, rock stars, and surfers may be having a lot of sex, apparently they can’t last very long. Bringing up the rear is Alaska, who clock in at a paltry 1:21—guess they find other ways to keep warm up there.

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