…blessings eternal…

Crys Mack formally welcomes the RECESSION

05/28/2009

THIS is not where I saw myself. This is not what I had in mind. Perhaps the problem is that I didn’t have anything particular in mind. The luminous “THEY” always said that if you “fail to plan, you plan to fail”. Well…I don’t feel like a failure, but THIS is not where I saw myself.

Peace Cool World,

Ya girl just needs to get some things off her chest. I don’t know if anyone is still watching, but it doesn’t matter. I originally started this blog for ME. And this post is for ME. You’re more than welcome to listen in while I berate myself and my own irresponsibility.

Ok, Crys. Why the hell can’t you get your finances in order? YOU KNEW what you had coming down the pike. YOU KNEW that the Solstice conference was in mid June and that your final payment was due June 5th. YOU KNEW that your niece’s play was showing thru May 30th. YOU KNEW that the Candy Gurls would be finished and initiated May 27. YOU KNEW you were going to the beach May 20. YOU KNEW that Honey wanted to take a “REAL VACATION” in August. So WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU PREPARE FOR THE FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS of said events? Huh?

And then the devil said:

And you choose NOW to decide you wanna start an Indie Publishing house? With what money? You choose NOW to edit and publish an anthology? You don’t know SHIT about publishing! You choose NOW to write for peanuts for other folks projects? You choose NOW to attend a $1200 workshop that doesn’t grant college credit, or a certificate or shit, huh? . You choose NOW when the airline doesn’t have the hours to let you rake in the money like it used to?

Smart, Crys. Really smart.

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To your credit (no pun intended), I’ll say congrats on taking care of the whole Sallie Mae issue. Maybe now she’ll stop calling all hours of the day and night. And true, you could not have anticipated the trouble with your car. No, you hadn’t been notified about the stupid Driver Responsibility Fee. But the state is gonna take their money REGARDLESS.

Now look. You’re so embarrassed by the whole mess that you won’t ask for help. Not that anyone could help short of a pay day loan with ridiculous interest or a MOB boss.

So, what are you gonna do now? What are you gonna sacrifice? Money don’t grow on trees and it ain’t gonna fall from the sky (despite whatMama said during childhood). You are a grown woman. YOU gotta make this happen.

Related

As for the doing work for peanuts…I too struggle internally over this. On some …this is some B.S. They should be paying me what I’m worth…Yet this still could help build up my portfolio…maybe I can give em something quick and easy I…ITS NEVER QUICK NOR EASY…most of the time it ends up being frustrating as hell…but you still end up with a portfolio piece…and from what I keep hearing (and experienced once)…You never know what might get you your dream gig… It could be your masterpiece or it could be some work that you hated doing all the way through. The thing is to stay positive through it all.