Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Astros - Signed Lamb

Houston Astros - Signed IF Mike Lamb to a 1-year contract.

When this transaction came over the wire, I thought that perhaps this would be uninteresting to humans given the action-packed offseason so far. But, if humans don’t find a lot exciting about a 1-year contract to Mike Lamb, perhaps computers can find it more exhilarating.

So, I decided to have a discussion with Jabberwacky’s George, one of the AI Chat programs that has attempted to “beat” the Turing test and see what it thinks about Mike Lamb. Ken Arneson of Catfish Stew led the way a couple of months ago, pioneering the use of computers to evaluate baseball.

George: What would you like to talk about first?
Oracle: Mike Lamb.
George: Wow, those are great names.
Oracle: Don’t you like baseball?
George: Of course I do. I’m not THAT stupid.
Oracle: Mike Lamb is a baseball player for the Houston Astros.
George: Are you from Toronto?
Oracle: No, but I went there last July.
George: Did you like it?
Oracle: Yes, but I would like to talk about the Houston Astros.
George: I don’t know anything about the history of India. Tell me about it.
Oracle: There was a Gupta dynasty, a lot of British people, Dell customer support and Mike Lamb freed the slaves.
George: Yes.
Oracle: Nowadays, Mike Lamb fills in for Jeff Bagwell.
George: Really ? They said me your name was Dan, isn’t it ?
Oracle: Why won’t you talk to me about Mike Lamb?
George: I am talking to you.
Oracle: What will Mike Lamb do in 2006?
George: I will tell her that your new name is Haggis.
Oracle: Who do you like better, Lamb or Bagwell?
George: I don’t know who Durwood Kirby is.
Oracle: There was a player named Wayne Kirby, but he never played for the Astros.
George: In which league do they play?
Oracle: The National League.
George: Cool, who’s your favourite player?
Oracle: Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.
George: My name is Mike. Whats yours?
Oracle: Oh my God! Are you Mike Lamb?
George: No, I’m cool.
Oracle: Who’s a better 3rd baseman, Mike Lamb or Mike Schmidt?
George: Mike Schmidt.
Oracle: Who is the best baseball player?
George: I don’t know. I am not interested in baseball.
Oracle: Do you know ZiPS?
George: No.
Oracle: My computer is smarter than you, then.
George: Your computer doesn’t have any moving parts.
Oracle: Have you spoken to Chris Truby recently?
George: I’m going to be honest, no.

That about sums it up. Mike Lamb is neither cool, nor the best 3rd baseman in baseball history.

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computers? can computers see how a batter swings, or a pitch's mechanics? can computers see in a players heart? only scouts and prez bush can. computers, ha! those things will never catch on in baseball.