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It’s only day three of 2018 and my want to is officially busted. Dishes are already piling up. Laundry, ugh, I don’t want to talk about laundry. Whoever designed a house with two flights of stairs between where clothes are taken off and laundry happens obviously never had to do laundry in such a situation. It’s not so much the physical distance, but the mental distance-“out of sight, out of mind.” Its cold outside so all I want to do is binge watch television under blankets eating like a bear about to hibernate. I have four kids who need to be taught, encouraged, disciplined, and all that other whatnot that parents are supposed to do. None of which they want for themselves. The little one only talks about “The Secret Life of Pets” which is apparently on Netflix right now. My eldest wants the Xbox One and to be left alone. The nine year old just has making dinner on her brain, but she still hasn’t completed her chores from yesterday. Her kitchen ability also means that dinner that would take me half an hour to cook will take over an hour, plus extra clean up. I will admit here that cold without snow makes me cranky.

If my new year’s resolutions were lofty goals, they would be over as of right now. There is no way, no how that anything ideal and lofty is happening today. It’s only two days into real life, and I can tell you, today is not a day for ideal. The resolutions would be in the trash can and I would wait for another milestone to pass so that I could have a new blank slate to do it all again.

However, my resolution is to try.

I don’t have to lose weight today; I just have to try. So I got up and exercised. I did what I could. When I started writing this blog and realized I was eating everything within reaching distance, I put the pretzels away. I’m trying.

My house doesn’t have to make the cover of Better Homes and Gardens today; I just have to try. So I put a load of laundry in. Only one load because the laundry and the washing machine aren’t anywhere near each other and it just wasn’t happening today. I made my eldest do some dishes because delegating can be a part of trying. I’m trying.

I don’t have to have time management all figured out today; I just have to try. My younger son pointed out that we had two unwatched episodes of Once Upon a Time. When the first ended and left me hanging, I decided that binge watching could be combined with trying. I have a box full of paperwork that needs to be organized during the next week, so I brought it in the living room with me. I’m trying.

I don’t have to be the Mary Poppins mom today; I just have to try. So while Miss Clara finishes scrubbing toilets, I am taking a moment to breathe and gain some perspective. She wants to learn how to cook. That is awesome. This is an opportunity for fun and girl bonding. I can do this, and I can do this with a smile on my face. Not because I have resolved to be super mom, but because for the next hour I can try. So I’m trying.

I’m a resolutions kind of a gal. Most January firsts, I have a long list of all the changes I want to make to make my life more like the one I want to live. Every birthday that comes along, I know just what needs to be done to make the next year a better one. I have even been known to make September school is starting resolutions.

I am not known to be the best keeper of resolutions. If I were good at keeping them, the list would not be so long every year. Many of my resolutions keep coming back each year. This time I will keep Mount Laundry from appearing in my closet. Okay, I did solve that one; Laundry Mountain now grows on the pile of containers at the foot of my bed, not my closet. This year, I will lose weight. This year will be the year I get committed to writing, or playing piano, or whatever, and usually a combination of many.

I like the resolution I made as I started this blog though. To look at life as an adventure. Even though I’m not physically in Alaska any more I can keep my heart there. I need to remember the lessons Alaska taught me-lessons about myself, about trying new things, about what being a Christian really means. I also need to keep myself open to learning new lessons in the same way I was open in Alaska.

I do have a new resolution for this year though. This year I resolve to keep trying. I will keep trying to be healthier. I will keep trying to exercise more. I will keep trying to write more often. I will keep trying to write a book. I will keep trying to organize my house. I will keep trying to be a better mom and wife. I will keep trying to learn more. For all the good resolutions I have made over my life time, I am going to keep trying at them.

I know at this point many are quoting Yoda, “Do or do not, there is no try.” While I love that green puppet, he is full of baloney. Try is moving from not able to do to doing. When I started exercising I could not skin the cat. I simply did not have the ability. But I tried. And I failed. I kept trying until one day, I did. If it were not for try, I would be stuck in a world of do not.

So I am going to try. And I know that I am going to fail. Knowing me, I will fail a lot. But I will keep trying, and someday my trying will be doing.

I also know that many of my resolutions have no end. That’s okay too. For those my doing will simply be to do better every day or week or month. What I really want for this year is for there to be noticeable progress.