Disneyland and some personal news

Feb 17

Feb17

Hello my dear friends. I wanted to tell you something – come out of the closet with some personal news. In January of this year I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my right breast – something called invasive ductal carcinoma. I’ll be having surgery this coming Monday February 23rd to remove a large part of my right breast followed by chemotherapy and radiation – all things I’m feeling pretty nervous and emotional about. Despite the shiteballs news, we still went to Disneyland – the trip had been planned for a year, and it was to celebrate my amazing mom’s 70th birthday. Turns out Diz was the joy and magic I needed to forget my boob-oriented problems for a while. Hot sun, the giggling hyper-happiness in my son’s face, feeling the love of my family and basking in the happy-making insanity that is Disneyland gave me a much needed blast of energy and fun.

A cast member selling balloons – balloon blaster!

This churro ice cream sandwich.

Feeling happy and love-y with my little man and my big man!!

Pineapple Dole Whip. Crucial stop at Disneyland.

Riding high on the Dumbo flying elephant ride!

The perfect soft serve ice cream cone. Diz does not mess around when it comes to soft serve. Shit’s gotta be perfect.

“What in tarnation??” Teddy met so many characters and saw so much stuff and he loved it all. No tears or meltdowns … kid loves rides too just like his dad.

My amazing mom (cool enough for ya in white Ray-bans??) and her brood of grandkiddies…

My sis and her two boys swirling and twirling. The Teacups are SO FUN and colorful! Diz has incredible sets, art direction and design in all of their rides.

Ok … back to this news:

Boobs have been on my mind ever since I was diagnosed on January 9th. I made this hilarious cake a few years ago for my friend Phanie’s 30th birthday … out of my usual range of cute and rated G cakes but I found this photo again and it felt relevant. Being told I had breast cancer was the most terrifying news, and deeply shocking especially as I’m still in my 30s. I don’t feel sick at all – but I’ve been told I have a disease that needs to be cured out of my body. I will be made to feel sick by chemicals and drugs and my physical appearance will change. It’s a weird countdown of days with my breasts the way they are – so I look at them and try to emblazon the way they look now into my memory, and face a mind spiral of fear of the unknown as I undergo chemo and radiation, and how that might affect my energy, the way I care for my son, or my marriage and other relationships. I’ve been an emotional, fragile little bird since getting back from Disneyland as my current reality has started to set in. My life has ground to a halt – I feel kind of useless, with no motivation to bake or create. I feel sad because I’ve worked extremely hard to get my cake and writing career to where it is – lots of sweet readers and fans, a great blogging community, some wonderful freelance jobs – and I can feel that all slipping away as I disappear to tackle something completely different – breast cancer. But at the same time it’s also been ok to let go, to say goodbye to the bloggy rat race. I’ll continue to update my blog and create new work as I’m able to. I’m spending my time partying with my little boo and snuggling him and air-guitar-ing with him as much as I can while I still have energy. For now my friends, please say a little prayer for me and send me some positive thoughts – I’m going to need it! xo Lyndsay

RelatedPosts

113 Responses to “Disneyland and some personal news”

Rachal

Feb 17, 2015

Sending my thoughts and prayers with you!! I just went through this with my mom and it created the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. It’s a tremendous journey that you’ll be on so surround yourself with love, be an advocate for what you need, and accept help when it’s offered. Hang in there!

mimi

Feb 17, 2015

That is a very brave post! Its not easy to share details of such a personal journey. I find it very inspiring that you’re so courageous with what’s ahead. Hope you will think back on a beautiful trip and look forward to a good recovery. Sending you the very best.

I’m sending tons of positive thoughts your way Lyndsay! I’ve loved seeing your cakes and beautiful creations over the last year. Take all the time and energy you need to focus on yourself and your family. I’m rooting for you to kick cancer’s ass and show it who’s boss. You got this!

I’m wishing so hard I could give you a hug right now, Lyndsay. I can’t imagine what this is like for you, but I do know that you’re one of the most kickass women I know — you can do this thing. And like Michelle said, we’re here for you! Sending you all the prayers, thoughts, and good vibes in the world.

You are a strong and brave lady for sharing this. I know you have an amazing family and support system that will help you get through this. Don’t think of it as everything you’ve created slipping away from you….think of it as being on hold for a moment. You’ll get your energy back and you’ll be back at it. Cancer sucks, but getting better is a priority. I’ve been through it with my mom, going through it with my dad. Then Andrew’s mom and dad. It’s ugly, but somewhere under the ugly mess there is a light. You can fight this, you’re still young and healthy, your body can fight it off and heal. I’ll be thinking of you Feb 23. xoxo

sending you all the prayers and good thoughts. it made me so happy to see all your instas of your little man’s happy face (and rich’s and your happy face too!). i’m so glad you got to get away from it all, even for a little while. you are brave and strong but if you need someone to lean on, i’m here for you. xoxo

I’m sending you as many warm thoughts and virtual hugs as possible!!!!!! My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 41 – luckily they caught it early and she kicked its ass (only needed a mastectomy), but I live in constant fear of following in her footsteps, so I can only imagine what you must be going through. I hope you know that we all love you and believe in you, and we’ll be thinking of you and cheering you on!!! If you EVER need to talk, you know where to find me on the interwebs. Good luck!!!!! You’re a badass cake lady so I feel like you can handle anything. :-* :-* :-*

aw sara thank you … my grandma had breast cancer too so i was always fearful of it happening, but holy man i am glad i found it when i did. if you ever question anything about your breasts feeling different (i simply felt a thickening of tissue which i thought might only be my rib) go get it checked out. thank you for the sweet kind words and energy and for sharing about your mom… xo

Lyndsay, we’ve never met, but you appear to me, to be a warrior of a woman, who’s created such a beautiful life, and family, and career that I’m happy you share with the world. You’ve given me so many good vibes, and cheer-me-ups through a hard time in my life, and I am just wishing you the strength, support, and love you are due, to get through this. Big hug. Emily

I’m so sorry to hear this, I’ve never met you but your positive outlook just shines through your work and your writing which is so important with your treatment and recovery. I’ll be thinking of you. Xxxx

So many good vibez are being sent your way you have no idea. You’re so fucking rad that you’ll make it through no problem. Also probably good that I didn’t realize you were in Orange County or I would’ve come and kidnapped you.

haha! do you go to disneyland all the time?? or do you keep it special? thanks so much billy. feeling the vibes from all my blogger pals. xo

Laura

Feb 17, 2015

Thinking and sending wonderful thoughts to you and your family! This is so much to
Go through at a young age, but I can tell you as I see many people daily battling this disease (I’m a nurse) and you can do it, especially when you have great support around you. All the best xo (ps you made my wedding cupcakes in 2013 and they are still one of my favorite things from that day)

Woah. You seem like such a wonderful, talented, kind person and your news sucks, which is really unfair. I can tell you’re also super strong and going to own that cancer! I’ll be sending good vibes and prayers your way to help the process along. :) Much Love

only the utmost positive, uplifting, cheerful, and good thoughts and vibes to you! you are already a beautiful writer, unbelievably-scrumptiously-adorable-cake maker and by default a person whose boobs will kick this thing’s ass!

Erin

Feb 17, 2015

<3 Hoping and praying for a speedy recovery! Take care of yourself and your family. The bloggy rat race will always be here, ready to welcome you back with open arms when you're up to creating and sharing once again. :)

Camille

Feb 17, 2015

Dear Lyndsay,
You are a rare bird: strong, caring and talented beyond belief. An ass kicking fighter. The amount of prayers and well wishes stacking up next to you as a wall to lean against is huge! We love you and we know you will make it to the other side of this massive challenge. Anything you need at all during this journey- ask, ask ask. Love to you and the boys.

My dearest Lindsay, thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and being so real. I have always loved your writing style as I feel like I can hear your wonderful voice and personality. Hugs to you as you go through this journey and we will all see you through your recovery. Your blog friends are here and send the most positive vibes – the same that you’ve sent to all of us in everyone of your creations and posts. Sending you extra healing thoughts and hugs. XOXO Juanita

sara

Feb 17, 2015

Lyndsay, thank you for sharing your struggle with your fan base.. yes I consider myself a fan! I loved your honesty about your fears over the next steps for treatment as well as the fears of losing what you have built. I assure you, when you are on your break for recovery and spending your time where it matters, you will not lose your fan base! As a customer in the past, I was blessed to see your generosity and true passion for your work and that wont go away just bcuz you took a break from us for a but brief moment. I will pray for you and your family. And for the record. ..a lot of clothes look better on smaller chests ;) with love sara and herman (you did a candy colored theme cake and cupcakes for our wedding back in april 2011)

Louise

Feb 17, 2015

Linds, if anyone can give cancer the big middle finger it’s you!! We are thinking of you and sending prayers your way. So glad you all got to go to Disneyland together. Those will be some great memories to focus on during your upcoming treatment! You can rock this thing!!! The Tag team is in your corner cheering you through xx

anni

Crystal

Feb 17, 2015

Just wanted to let you know I’m praying for you. I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma and beat it with chemo when I was 18. It was scary then and I didn’t even have kids yet, or have part of my boob removed, so I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. You seem strong, but allow yourself to rest if/when you need it. God bless you and your family during this difficult time.

Jamie

Feb 17, 2015

Can I offer an unsolicited suggestion? Find a photographer that you trust and feel comfortable with and do a boudoir photo shoot before you begin your surgery and treatment. This will be an incredibly trying experience on many days to come, particularly when it comes to your self esteem and when you’re not feeling particularly sexy. Not only will the experience of doing the shoot be liberating for you, but you will have something to look at on days when you’re feeling down to remind yourself the sexy mama & wife that you are. Also…do a shoot after you finish treatment to remind yourself that you’re still sexy as ever. These pictures are just for you (and your hubby should you choose to share). Sometimes we all need reminders of how awesome we are, especially when times get hard.

#1 biggest fan

Feb 17, 2015

Dearest Lyndsay,

Thank you for sharing such personal news. My heart and prayers are with you and I wish you a speedy recovery. It’s ironic but this will make you and all around you stronger, better and complete. I am so proud of all that you have accomplished and just watching you grow in so many ways…it has been wonderful to be part of your cococupcake family. Keep having hope and know that things will be ok. I have had several friends go through the same thing and you are not alone. From the first day I pigged out on your cupcakes til now, I am always your #1 biggest fan! :) Cheers! Reebz! Much love to you and your family.

Kelly Harris

janice

Feb 17, 2015

Lynds. Sorry if this is cheesy, but it’s just true…You are beautiful inside and out. You have been, are now, will be, even with this battle. I will hope and pray that if, indeed, some things do slip away from you now, that it is only to make room for better things–things yet unknown that are awesome, or, errr RAD… like YOU!! Lots and lots and lots–LOADS–of love and good vibes and prayers for you right now! Xoxoxo

Robin

Feb 18, 2015

I forgot about that cake, heh, heh ❤ It’s really not going to disappear. Everything will be where you left it, when your energy is back. You have your own style and voice that will always be part of what you do and who you are, and it will expand into however you feel at anytime — as it does in this post. It’s just a natural gift. **love love love to you** I’m going to even get really Vancouver and do yoga and send healing thoughts to you on the 23rd :) for real. Upon re-reading this comment, I see you’ve turned me into a hippie. So, I’m going to phone you and play whale songs down the line at various times, but especially at sunrise. xxxxxoxxxxxoxoxox

Efi

Caroline

Feb 18, 2015

Oh Lyndsay, I’m so sorry for your bad news, but hopeful that your treatment will be successful and leave you as well as you can be. Of course take as much time away from everything as you want — I hope you can find some new or different things to help absorb your mind away from the worrying.

Andrea

Feb 18, 2015

Dear Lyndsay,
My family has been through this more times than more times than one can imagine. BCCA is excellent and your loving family will give you the strength to get you through. My mom had the first lumpectomy in Canada thirty years ago. You are brave and have a great attitude to beat this. I’ll be thinking of you on Monday

Kelly

Feb 18, 2015

Hi, Lyndsay! I’m a long (long) time reader (and probably have never commented before). I can’t remember how I found your blog, but it was probably the first food-related blog I’d ever read. I love your creativity and your sense of humor. I just wanted to write to let you know that you’re stronger than you think and feel right now. Just by coming here and honesty telling all of us your fears is SO BRAVE, and I know that good things are coming to you, despite the hills. We are all here to support you – whether we’re talkin’ cakes or boobies! Use us as sounding board, as a release of sadness, anger, anxiety, happiness, highs, lows. We’ll be here. I’m praying for you and sending you love and light as you CONQUER this next journey. xoxo

Hi Lyndsay, I think it’s incredibly brave of you to share your story. The internet is so often brimming with (seeming) perfection, but underneath it all is real life. Wishing you the very, very best as you tackle the tough months ahead.

jo

Feb 18, 2015

tears and speechlessness over here. wish i could say something bright and cheerful or deep and meaningful, but i just feel angry that you and too many other friends have to go through this. i can see that you are strong and deeply loved and will conquer this with grace and humour.. and cake.. cuddles and cake will help see you through to the other side.. sending you all good thoughts and wishes. x

I just sent you an email, girl. I can’t even. You are an amazing, strong, fabulous woman and I know that you’re going to kick cancer’s ass. Sending you hugs, rainbows, unicorns and all the love I can muster. xoxoxoxo

Amber | Loves Food, Loves to Eat

amyp

Feb 18, 2015

Frosty, you have so many positive vibes and love being sent your way, and with your positive attitude and family by your side, I have no doubt you will get through this difficult time. You are one of the strongest people I know and you will beat this! We are sending you so much love from the east! xoxox.

Oh, Lyndsay, my heart hurts reading this. I will be thinking and praying for you and your sweet family, that you can get the best medical help available, that your doctors will be guided in their care, that you will have a swift recovery, and that you guys can find a measure of peace and happiness during this hard, hard time. So much love to you and your boys!! xoxo

Anthea Morrison

Clarke Nakamoto

Feb 18, 2015

Oh Lynds, I have to admit it was a little tough reading this but what quickly entered my mind afterwards was the incredible family and support network you have behind you. The positive energy that everyone will provide will really help. It’s been a long time since we hid you and Blake in the suitcases when playing hide ‘n seek in Whistler but I’ll be thinking about those times, you and your lovely family and I’ll even have my kids say a little prayer for you tonight :-).
Love. Conquers. ALL.
xoxo, C

Sarina Smirnjak

Tracy

Feb 19, 2015

Sending you positive thoughts and wishes from South Africa. Good luck for a tough journey ahead, I know you will beat this and be the strong woman I have read and followed. You are such an inspiration!

Lyndsay, I’m sending you a ginormous internet hug and am wishing you a sweet, quiet weekend with your family filled with lots of love. I will be thinking of you on Monday. I’m glad you were able to enjoy the sun and churro ice cream sandwiches in the happiest place on earth :)

Jen

Feb 19, 2015

Lyndsay, I always visit your page around this time, and later in the summer for cake inspiration for my daughter’s birthdays. So I sending you big internet love from NH – thank you so much for all you do to make this world a sweet and pretty place! We’ll be thinking of you Monday and beyond. xo

gillian

Feb 19, 2015

I am so sorry to hear this news. You are such a bright spot in my baking world and I always marvel at your fun, beautiful and sweet creations! Your blog and fans and community will be here waiting when you are ready and thinking of you and praying for you while you are healing. So much love and admiration from San Francisco.

I’m so sorry to hear about your unfortunate news. It was awfully brave of you to share your story on your blog and I’m sure this bravery will help you through this tough time. My thoughts are with you x

Feels I only just found your blog but the inspiration I got from it already has made so many people happy, I don’t even know how to begin thanking you. Let me start by wishing you all the best and lots of strength, and support from your loved ones for the months to come. Hugs from Hamburg! Hertje

My very best wishes go with you. Cancer is certainly scary as anything, from the actual physical sickness to the out-of-control feelings. But you are bright and strong, and the treatment regimens have come a long way. Please take time to heal and rest, and we’ll all be here to celebrate your recovery when you feel up to it.

kats

I love your boob cake, it’s so funny. I think it’s very brave of you to talk about this, but you seem like a strong person to me (since I don’t know you personally) and reading all the comments, I think you can count on us, your readers, for positivity when you need it! Wishing you the best here!

youngmi

Feb 21, 2015

I am sending you as many healing thoughts and well wishes as I possibly can. I look forward to visiting this blog again soon and hearing that you are once again 100% healthy! And by the way, churro ice cream sandwich?? How have I never seen those before??

Patty Kenny

Simone

Feb 27, 2015

Lots of love from an Aussie fan – you are already a cakeing inspiration and I know you will be also be an inspiration through whatever you face ahead. Let us all know how you are going, when you can. My prayers for skilled surgeons and wise doctors, and that someone, anyone, makes you a damn big chocolately salted caramelly cake when you are up to eating it!!

It pains me so to hear your news. By now you have had your surgery and I hope the recovery is not too painful. I am sending you all my love and prayers and hope you beat this thing with a quickness! xoxox

Amber

I missed this, and then I saw your IG that the surgery is over.
Sending you good vibes. You’re handling this with such grace and willingness to step away from less important things for a while.
Wishing you health and peace.