Monday, August 20, 2012

You've been here for 3 months now, which seems impossible to
believe. Where has the time gone? My little tiny newborn baby boy has grown
into a bigger baby boy, and while it's so sad that you'll never be that small
again, it's also so exciting. You sit up on my lap now and take everything in.
Your deep blue eyes are wide with wonder, and I can see the wheels in your mind
turning as you look, look, look at everything in our little world. Everyday is pretty
similar. We wake up around 8 in the morning and I feed you, we
play for a bit, we cuddle on the bed, we read, I sing you songs,
we dance. You sleep, you eat, the cycle goes on throughout the day. When your
papa gets home from work I can see you light up. Everyday you change and grow and do something new. Your personality is
starting to emerge a little more and I can definitely see a bit of the person
you are becoming. I think you'll be like your Dad. Funny, kind, full of laughs, so loving. Loving most of all. You still like to cuddle up like a
little koala on our chests while you nap during the day, and it's my favorite
thing to just lay like that all afternoon and let you sleep. You now grasp our
hands, and even grasp toys if we place them in your palm. You really are starting to recognize
our voices.

You are such a joy Jamison. Time is
whirling past us, and I keep trying to stop time, to freeze it just for a
moment. It's impossible though. So I will keep taking photos, videos, trying
to capture it all. I imagine your big twenty-something self, looking back at
these photos with me, laughing along with your little mama at your tiny self-
the noises, the faces, the adorable way you'd scrunch up your nose when you
laughed. I will tell you stories, your Dad will recount the time you did this or
that, we'll all smile and reminisce. And you, my big son all grown up, my once
tiny little baby boy, will look over at me and smile. And you will know how
much you are loved, and how much you've always been loved.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

It's been about 9 weeks since your birthday, and I've been
thinking long and hard about how I could even begin to put into words how much
joy you've brought into our lives in such a short time. Your birth was
challenging, and I'm sure one day when you're older I will use that in a
teasing way to give you a hard time...but I would go through it all
again and again, a million times over, for you.

From the moment I heard your cries
my life was changed. I feel like the person I was before, and the person I am now are
different. All I can say is: YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING. You
are the most perfect little person, and I know you are going to
do something very special and wonderful in this world. You put out this calming,
beautiful energy, and your Dad and I can't help but fall a little more in love
with you every day. You do the sweetest things- small cooing
noises as you fall asleep, tiny smiles once you are asleep, and you even laugh
out loud in the middle of dreaming. You're beautiful my darling boy. In fact your Daddy calls you, "The Cutness".

Your Dad is amazing and loves taking care of you. He
talks about your long legs and big hands and daydreams about you playing basketball and doing all sorts of father-son things together. We both just sit
and stare at your gorgeous little features and expressive face. It's hard
to think about you growing up already- but as fast as these past two months have
gone, I know the rest of our lives will move along just as quickly. I want to slow everything down and never forget the way you snuggle my neck when you're sleepy, or the way you grip
your Daddy's hand with your tiny fingers.

I want to always remember the noises
you make, the smell of your hair, and the way you purse your lips after we kiss
you. The moments will come, and although that is so exciting, the moments we've
left behind will never be lived again. So that's why when I'm tired, and
going on two hours of sleep, I take a moment and just love love love little you; I love you in all of your innocent beauty. This time in our lives will only happen once, and I promise you I
will never look too far into the future and miss what's happening right now. All we can do is be present. And let me
tell you, my sweet little mister, the present is a pretty amazing place to be,
thanks to you.
I love you forever,