One touchdown allowed in five games? I hereby decree it’s time to nickname the Broncos defense.

Orange Crush II? Nah, you know what they say about sequels.

An ESPN radio listener came up with the Orange-and-Blue Wrecking Crew. Not bad, not bad.

Another suggested the same nickname for both the offense and defense: Three-and-Out. I like it, but I’m not sure Jake Plummer would agree.

The Lynch Mob? Been there, seen that. The Raiders used it when Lorenzo Lynch played for them, and the last thing we want to do is emulate the Raiders.

While all of those names have merit, make mine … drum roll, please … the Bailey Bunch. It’s got a certain ring to it, and it uses the name of the Broncos’ resident superstar. For all the exceptional players on the Broncos’ defense, there’s only one Champ Bailey.

Not that I have all the answers. Every Sunday, I look down in the stands and see better one-liners on bedsheets than anything I could come up with. If you’ve got a better nickname, ship me an e-mail me at the address at the end of this column. …

You think the Broncos’ offense is struggling? The 1934 Lions, the only D in NFL history not to allow a touchdown through five games, scored 52 points in their first five. The Bronx have piled up a whopping 62. …

By the way, those feisty Lions wound up allowing 59 points in 13 games, about 4.5 per, but didn’t play for the NFL championship. They finished 10-3, three games behind the unbeaten Bears in the Western Division. …

In case you were wondering, the answer to the trivia question is Doug Gabriel. He’s the Pats wideout who scored that touchdown against the Bailey Bunch. And let the record show it came well into the fourth quarter in a game the Broncos were leading 17-0. …

Not that the Broncos have the only nasty defense in the AFC West. Chargers linebacker Shaun Phillips, your basic backup who replaced Steve Foley, has six sacks, one-half more than Shawne Merriman. …

You miss a tackle on the Broncos’ defense and he’ll be waiting for you. Al Wilson, that is. So what does he typically say to a teammate in that situation? “Nothing you can put in the newspaper.” …

Unbelievable over-the-fence catch by Endy Chavez at Shea in Game 7 of the NLCS. Only one other outfielder could have made that grab – Michael Jordan. …

The Mike Tyson World Tour 2006 kicked off Friday night in Youngstown, Ohio. I didn’t catch the results, but I had the bearded lady knocking out Mortgaged Mike in the third round. …

Peyton Manning, on a conference call with reporters, when asked about his first two rushing TDs since 2002: “I’m just trying to keep the fantasy people happy.” …

Redshirt freshman Riar Geer leading the Buffs in receptions. Nothing unusual there except that he’s a tight end. Oh, and did I mention no freshman, redshirt or otherwise, has ever led CU in receptions? …

“We’re not scoring enough points,” Dennis Green said after dumping his offensive coordinator. Huh? The Cardinals scored 23 against the Bears, who had been allowing seven per Sunday. …

What’s wrong with this picture? The Cardinals, averaging 18.5 points a game, and the Ravens, averaging 18.3, fired their coordinators last week. The Broncos, meanwhile, are averaging 12.4. Arizona has scored 59 points in the first quarter, three fewer than the Bronx have scored all season. …

Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press suggests layered clothing and hot drinks for fans braving the October elements to watch the World Series. Oh, and one more thing. “Ask John L. Smith, ‘Hey, where’d you get that hot seat?”‘ …

Who to pull for when Kenny Rogers is facing Albert Pujols? Judging from some of the horror stories, that would be neither of the above. …

Carmelo Anthony on the cover of Sports Illustrated. And here I had such big plans for him this season. …

Talk about depressing. That ex-UNC player who stabbed his fellow punter will be out of the slammer and the Cubs still won’t have won a World Series. …

The final word, courtesy of the New York Post’s Peter Vecsey: “Don’t know about you, but I won’t be convinced Fidel Castro’s condition is terminal until the Knicks sign him.”

Catch Jim Armstrong from 6-9 a.m. during “The Press Box” on ESPN radio 560. He can be reached at (303) 954-1269 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com.

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