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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Windowsill {you may not want to read this if you don't want my fears and silliness to rub off on you, just skip to the video, everyone can use a little arcade fire in their lives}

Maybe it's because I am almost done with college
Maybe it's because a teacher I respect almost made me cry
Maybe it's because I don't want to grow up
Maybe it's because I sometimes want to curl up in a ball on my mom's chest and have her read my favorite books to me like I did when I was a child
Maybe it's because I want to eat ice cream for breakfast, a cupcake for lunch, and oreo's dipped in milk for dinner
Maybe it's because I feel like I am not deserving of my best friends
Maybe it's because I want to sleep in and not go to class
Maybe it's the cold weather
Maybe it's because of the thought of hearing nae nae and getting sweet kisses from nieces is the only reason that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Maybe it's because I wish I was more courageous and outgoing
Maybe it's because I am afraid of the real world, dying, losing, and that I am not living life to its full potential.

but this song is my song for the moment. it's words have never spoken so true to me before. maybe it is going to mean something different for you than for me. But, I love it, and I can't stop dancing, and I love the way that it brings me comfort in a time that everything is going so well, I really am the happiest I have ever been, I am not sad at all, I just have some fears that creep in, and this song makes me feel better, and those fears escape for the time being.

I don't like making new years resolutions, I don't really even like new years, maybe it's my stick in the mud tendencies, but sometimes, I don't like change.

But I have one, and on January 11 I have made it (besides my new years resolution to floss twice a day, and use mouth wash) I want to live fearlessly.