00:05 Deb Phelps: Hi, this Reverend Deb Phelps, Senior Administer of MiraclesOne, and I wanna thank you for listening to MiraclesOne Radio. I also wanna share with you an exciting event coming up in April 2015 in New York City, and that is the Course of Miracles conference. Rev. Paul and I will be there, once again, presenting, along with many other teachers. You can find out more information at www.acimconference.org. Be sure, when you register, that you let them know MiraclesOne sent you. Also, for all that we offer, be sure to go to our website, www.miraclesone.org.

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01:04 DP: Hi everyone, this is Reverend Deb Phelps of MiraclesOne, and I’m so glad to be with you for, once again, our Tuesday Course of Miracles with MiraclesOne Radio show. Today is June 3rd, so we are in June now, which means we have a new theme. June’s theme is “Hide and Seek,” so we’ll be taking a look at some readings that help us to get away from hiding, and seek the truth. Joining me, as usual, is Reverend Gail Bartlett. Hi Rev. Gail.

01:36 Gail Bartlett: Hi everyone. How are you doing? Glad to be here.

01:41 DP: This week’s reading comes to us from the text Chapter 14, Section 7: Sharing perception with the Holy Spirit. That is on page 287 if you have a second or third edition of the course. Why don’t we kind of start going through this and see what it tells us, and what Jesus wants us to know. Well, I like this reading already, because just by the title, Gail, “Sharing perception with the Holy Spirit”, that’s what he wants us to do. If we could just get this title, we wouldn’t even need the rest of the reading. Sharing perception with the Holy Spirit. He starts of asking us a question, “What is it that you want?” What do you want? Light or darkness? Knowledge or ignorance? You can’t have both.

02:41 DP: So where do you wanna be? Do you wanna be still in the darkness? Being aggravated by those thoughts of the past, and fear and judgement and criticism, etcetera. Do you wanna remain separated? That feeling of separation, even though, in truth, Jesus tells us we’re all one, we’re together. So he says “As darkness disappears in light, so ignorance fades away when knowledge dawns.” Truth is union. So do you want the truth? You can handle the truth. From whatever movie that is, where Al Pacino said, “You can’t handle the truth,” I forget what that… Oh, “A Few Good Men,” right?

03:38 GB: Tom Cruise.

03:40 DP: Yeah, but it was Al Pacino that said it.

03:43 GB: Oh he did? I thought it was…

03:44 DP: No, he slammed something down on the desk or something, and said “You can’t handle the truth!” Well, we’re here to tell you that you can handle the truth because you have Jesus leading you by the hand to the truth, and the Holy Spirit is there with you as well, and they’re all in your mind. Jesus and the Holy Spirit is not these things outside of you. They’re right there in your mind. Sometimes we make it sound like they’re outside of us, but they’re not. So here we go, paragraph two, “The search for truth is about the honest searching out of everything that interferes with the truth.” What does that sound like? Sounds like the introduction to the course, doesn’t it? Right? Not gonna learn about love, we’re gonna learn about the obstacles that we have placed in the way to love.

04:40 DP: It’s already there. Truth is, you can’t lose it, and you can’t find it. It’s wherever we are, because it’s within us. So, we can either be aware of it or not. So are you ready to be aware of the truth, or do you wanna stay the way you are? Do you wanna be miserable? Unhappy? Stuck on those old ideas and beliefs about yourself? And you know you do it. Every time a situation comes up and you get angry, or you get upset, you cry. Not that there’s anything wrong with having any of those feelings, but there comes a point where you’re gonna say “Well, what do I really want? Do I wanna have this or not? I want the truth.”

05:38 DP: So, continuing in this paragraph two, he’s saying, sentence seven, “Under each corner stone of fear on which you have erected your insane system of belief, the truth lies hidden.” So we build a false building on the truth, there it is. If you remember, not too long ago, we talked about the two pictures. The fancy golden frame. Blood red rubies. Same thing, the truth is there, it’s already beautiful in its simplicity, but the ego wants us to have something else. Cannot know this, for by hiding truth in fear you see no reason to believe that the more you look at fear, the less you see it and the clearer what it conceals becomes. It’s okay to look at the fear. It’s okay to look at it. I’ve had to look at it recently. Geez, I had another health diagnosis.

06:56 DP: And as Gail knows, ’cause we’ve been talking about it, it was like, it really struck me. Like, “Oh my gosh! Something else.” And I was afraid. I was afraid of it the first couple of days because it was just last Friday. And then I started coming to some terms with it and thankfully talking with you, Gail, yesterday or whenever it was. It’s like, “Yeah, I have to face that fear that I have, and underneath know that I’m still safe, I can trust God no matter what.

07:32 DP: I can do what I need to do here in the world, but yet, I still have to do that inner work. Because if I am disturbed in any way, if even so very lightly, under the hood kinda deal, I still need to seek the truth.” The truth is in there. God knows what the truth is. God knows that I’m not this body. Certainly, like I said, I’ll do the things that I need to do, but then, while I’m doing it, if I’m feeling guilty about it, if I’m feeling upset about it, if I’m judging myself about it… Holy Spirit, look at this guilt with me. Look at this judgement with me. Look at this criticism with me. And he will. And he’ll transform it. The important thing is, like it said at the beginning of paragraph two, the honest searching. Being honest with ourselves. That honest searching out of everything that interferes with it.

08:55 DP: So those ideas kept me busy for a couple of days, off and on. And so, now, I’ve come to a better place with it. There have been seemingly worse things that I’ve come to terms with very quickly, and there’s been seemingly very easy things that I’ve held on to for longer. All it comes down to is, “Well, do I want the light or do I want the darkness?” And then, once I do I can share… Well, what’s the title of this section? Sharing perception of the Holy Spirit. I can share what my perception is. What I’m seeing out of this; what I’m getting out of it. And then allow the transformation to come. I’ll stop there Gail and see if you have anything that you wanted to share.

09:48 GB: Well, I have a really good example. You and I shared a little bit about what your challenge was on Friday. Let me share something with which I’ve wrestled. I’ve had gum issues for as long as I can remember. I remember going to a periodontist when I was 28 or 29, so that was a long time ago, and I had some periodontal work. My teeth were fine. I was a young, and I’ve had not gingivectomies, but deep, deep cleaning, which is painful because you’re given…

[background conversation]

10:45 GB: So, anyway, long story short, I was told by a traditional dentist about 10 years ago that I would lose about one-third of my teeth due to gum disease.

10:55 GB: The teeth were perfectly fine, she took an X-ray. She had been recommended to me by a holistic physician. It was his dentist. So, long story short, she takes X-rays, comes back out, holds both my hands and says, “Gail, I’m so sorry. Your teeth look fine, but you’re gonna lose a third of your teeth.” So how many is that? That’s probably 10 teeth. I don’t know. I was devastated, and so, I went online and I found a holistic dentist. There are two in Chicago, two who are reputable, let’s put it that way. And I made the sojourn, an hour and 15 minutes up North, and the long and short of it was, not only did I not lose any teeth, but I ended up with brackets, which is comparable to braces. And I wore these bracket gizmos for about five years. I had these appliances I put in at night.

11:53 GB: Well, I have two teeth on the bottom on the right that are very precarious, and the appliance fit around the one on the bottom, fits around this tooth that is very precarious. And the tooth looks fine, but there’s dramatic gum loss below this tooth and the one next to it, which is at the very end. And when I felt it this morning, I thought, “Oh my God! It’s going to fall out!” Now, it’s not that bad. But it’s very loose, which means I can’t chew on my right side, I have to chew on my left side.

12:31 GB: So, I’m gonna need to have those teeth pulled, and it breaks my heart ’cause the teeth are fine. And went to get implants, but then she has to grow bone, blah blah blah. And like, Rev Deb… I mean I have… And I’m just being very honest. I feel like I’ve beat myself up because there are probably things that I could have done. I could have been more diligent. She told me to use a Waterpik for 10 minutes at a time, have hydrogen peroxide, etcetera. And I’ve been a little scattered about it, to say the least. Not negligent, I mean I brush my teeth, I use the Waterpik every single night, I brush them in the morning. And I’ve been really sad that I’ve dealt with this for 40 years. Forty years I’d been dealing with this, being stressed out by this gum stuff.

13:31 GB: Now, to me, that is no different than… And I’ve hidden it. I don’t mean I haven’t shared it, with my family or right now. That’s not what I mean. But I haven’t relinquished it. I haven’t really journalled about it. I still think there’s something within me that tells me, this is not such a big deal. I haven’t been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Other people have greater challenges. Seemingly greater challenges, physically or psychologically. But this reading is beautiful, I mean, I know better than that to bring this. I know better intellectually. But just talking about it makes me feel better. I mean just getting it out, and sharing it with all of you, ’cause I’ve known of people with chronic fatigue syndrome, or fibromyalgia or… Some issues that land them in bed, for example. I mean, I’m not in bed because of this gum loss. I can’t chew on my right side, but I can still chew, I can still intake food.

14:44 GB: So, there’s a part of me, clearly, that wants to suffer and that wants to sacrifice and wants to be a martyr. And it doesn’t matter if I try to dissect it, it’s more important, as Rev Deb was saying, that I bring this to the Holy Spirit. That I don’t have to keep… I’m still keeping something separate from the Holy Spirit of Jesus. And he tells us not just in this section of the text, but everywhere. Everywhere, in so many different forms: Just bring everything to me. Place everything on the altar.

15:21 GB: And I was thinking about Rev Deb and her challenge, this latest emergence. I was thinking about my gum issue, too, and I thought, “Okay, how can this… ” Let’s see if I can explain this, I’m not sure if I can. Lesson 154 is today’s lesson, it’s, “I am among the ministers of God.” And basically what this lesson is saying, kind of in conjunction with this is, we really allow the Holy Spirit to use our hands and our feet and our voice, to reach out to other people, because we’re all ministers of God in essence. So, if I’m withholding something like that, either because I’m ashamed or embarrassed or I can’t believe that this is happening, how could I let this happen, blaming myself, blaming the dentist, by the way, which I have done, and I still do to a certain extent. I’m being honest.

16:19 GB: So that’s a long way of saying, I’m learning slowly to bring all this up without fear to an audience, whether you’re listening today or some other time, because I want to look at it. I don’t know what that means, but I can simply journal and say, “I’m really struggling with this. I’m mad at myself. I’m sure I could have done a little bit differently.” But let’s face it, guys, it’s in the past. There’s nothing I can do, the tooth is loose. With Rev Deb’s challenge… I mean, I’m not saying that there’s nothing I can do. There are things I can do. But when I’m blocked and frozen in fear, no alternatives present themselves. I have tuned the Holy Spirit out, and I have not allowed the spirit in me to come forth with viable alternatives or solutions. I’ve just closed the door to being helped. I think that’s enough for now. I’m done.

17:25 DP: I think that’s the key there, that you shared at the end, is that… Well, [A], it doesn’t matter what the form is. Whatever it is, if it’s a physical challenge, a mental health challenge, a job challenge, a relationship challenge, that’s not the point. The point is, well, do you like what you’re feeling? And if you don’t, then share that perception with the Holy Spirit, so you can be reminded of what the truth is. So you can come to a place of peace. Because then once we can come to a place of peace, well, then we’ll know what we’re guided to do next. So it’s the idea of… At the beginning of paragraph four, I just happened to look down, it says, “Our emphasis has been on bringing what is undesirable to the desirable, what you do not want, to what you do.” That’s what this says. No longer do we have to hide in the darkness.

18:37 DP: Speaking about it today, myself, Rev Gail, that’s bringing it into the light. That’s saying, I don’t wanna keep this hidden any longer. Now, whether, I mean, certainly not everybody could speak about it publicly like we are right now, but whether it’s writing in a journal, having a conversation in your car, I sometimes talk to holy spirit in my car when I’m driving around. Maybe it’s a friend, maybe it’s your study group, maybe it’s calling one of us. Getting it out instead of keeping it hidden, that this area I think I can handle on my own. It’s basically what you were in a way saying, Gail, is that, “Yeah okay, well, I give up the things to holy spirit, but this one thing, I don’t know I don’t think you can help me with this,” but he can because it’s not about the form, it’s about what we’re feeling that contact which obviously is coming from the ego. If we’re full of fear, full of doubt, hurt, pain, judgement, berating ourselves, whatever it is, he is there to help us.

19:56 DP: And yet, it’s that easy. Well, maybe it’s that simple. Sometimes simple isn’t always easy as I was telling my class last night. The instructions, for instance we were talking about the workbook, I’m practising the workbook and it’s like, the instructions are there. Following the instructions and following through with the instructions may not be easy to do. They’re simple when you read it. For instance, I forget what lesson we were talking about, and it said, four to five times an hour. Oh I know what it was, it was I call upon God’s name and upon my own. I think it’s 183. And I guess you’re supposed to repeat four to five times an hour. That’s it, that’s the instruction. It’s not… I have to do mental gymnastics to try and figure everything out of what he means. And what is God’s name.

20:53 DP: Now it just says practice. I call upon God’s name and upon my own. Four to five times an hour. Right? We get confused and we allow the ego to throw that smoke screen in front of us. So when he says just bring this to the Holy Spirit, well yeah, you got to own it. You got to own what you’re feeling. How can you bring it to the Holy Spirit if you’re not owning that. You know, in my case feeling, you know, a little scared, feeling a little defeated, you know, a sense of de… You know that I have been defeated that whatever, whatever else.

21:39 DP: Anger. There was some anger there. There was some sadness there. And it was, well, I acknowledge this, I own this, and once I own it then I can do something about it which is now I give it to the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we say giving it to the Holy Spirit, it’s like, “Oh, it’s like a hot potato.” Like I don’t wanna take responsibility for, you know, what thoughts bug me to what I’m feeling and the feelings that I’m having. No, that’s not the case. You acknowledge it, you own it.

22:20 DP: So we bring the undesirable to the desirable. I’m turning the page going on to paragraph five here. And it says “Light cannot enter darkness when the mind believes in darkness and will not let it go.” Well, if I’m stuck and that plays, you know, like I was for, you know, off and on for a couple of days, two days or so. But no, I’m not going to have any relief. I’m only going to have relief when I am willing to have that relief. When I can acknowledge, you know, it’s one thing to say I want to be at peace.

23:04 DP: It’s another thing as, he tells us on one of workbook lessons, I want the peace of God. It’s another thing to mean what we say. I mean what I say when I say “Yeah, I’m willing now Holy Spirit. I’m willing to take a look at this situation a little bit differently. And what’s it been invoking in me the fear or the judgement, etcetera. I’m willing to look at this now.” ‘Cause until then we can blame everything else. We can blame our body. We can blame our boss. We can blame our relationship. We can blame God. You know what do they say when a flood or something like that, they call it an act of God. [chuckle] Right? We can blame anything. But until we’re willing, until we’re willing. That is all it takes, a little bit of willingness.

[pause]

24:24 DP: So, what else here in paragraph five? Well, the Holy Spirit can use everything that we’ve done. We’ve set up the defences is what he’s talking about here. Yeah, we’ve attacked ourselves. I know I was attacking myself. But sentence eight in paragraph five, “Defence is like everything you made must be gently turned to your own good. Translated by the Holy Spirit from means of self destruction to means of preservation and release.” This doesn’t mean preservation of the body. This means preservation of our mind. And he can translate. For me, if I would have found out about this a couple of months ago, well, then I probably would have gone down a more traditional route of managing it.

25:30 DP: But because I’m now working with a natural path and I feel at peace with that, and at peace with now what we’re moving forward with, then it’s okay. I feel okay with it. And so, my prayer then was a prayer of gratitude. Wow, I’m glad it came up now. ‘Cause now this is where I’m supposed to be. And I want that peace. And whether or not this works or not, I still want that peace, because peace is the outcome that I desire. So he says, sentence 11, “Do not delay in your… ” Let me say that again. “Do not delay in your return to peace by wondering how he can fulfill what God has given him to do. Leave that to him. Who knows? God, he knows. You are not asked to do mighty tasks yourself.”

26:23 DP: See? That’s what we’ve been doing. We’ve been trying to figure it out ourselves. If I do this, or if I do that, I’m gonna make magic happen. We are merely asked to do the little he suggests you do, trusting him only to the small extent of believing that if he asks it, you can do it. You’ll see how easily all that he asks can be accomplished. Don’t have to do it by ourselves, we just have to… What is that little willingness? Yeah.

27:05 GB: You know, I thank you very much for… I know that the Holy Spirit lead you to a natural path, but I find that what you just said was very helpful. Whether it works or not, whether it works or not, it may or may not work. In other words, you may not… When we say that, I think the way I interpret what you said was, at some future date, you may be lead back to a traditional physician. I mean, in other words, we don’t know. It feels right to you right now. I think for me, going back to this tooth thing, it’s… I don’t want them to be pulled. I think there’s a part of me that’s deluded into believing that gum disease would heal on it’s own, and that’s clearly not the message. And then the other thing you said was, how are you feeling? How am I feeling about this? Angry at the dentist. I’m blaming her. I feel she’s very focused on developing other modality.

28:30 GB: She’s into a face work, and there’s some new methodology for example that will enable her to inject something into a woman or a man’s face that would retard or help with ageing, and she’s really focused on getting into that because it’s stimulating. She’s about 51, 52. Very very bright lady, and she’s all… She’s really into homoeopathy, and I had an infection in one tooth, and she gave me a homoeopathic remedy and so forth, and I love homoeopathy. That’s not… That’s neither here nor there, but the point is, I’m stubborn, and I want what I want, and so, I continue to stay agitated and discouraged and disheartened, and in blame mode.

29:23 GB: So I’m either blaming myself, or I’m blaming Dr. Pearson, but the bottom line is you are not asked to do mighty tasks yourself. In paragraph five, Rev. Deb, where was I here, “You are merely asked to do the little he suggests you do with a little willingness.” And so, I don’t know if you think about purpose, what our purpose is. To forgive. We want peace above all. How quickly my commitment to peace with this latest development which was probably ongoing and I just chose to ignore it, but now it’s gotten to the point where I can’t ignore it. I’m feeling an urgency to do something, and so… Bear with me. When I was drinking so heavily and ended up in treatment and I’m very open about this for anyone who’s never heard me talk before; I’m very open about this.

30:27 GB: It was nine years ago. I really had to hit bottom. I mean I had to hit bottom, bottom, bottom. Just when I was thinking about the tooth this morning, I thought, “Well, I kinda feel the same way about this.” That I’ve chosen not to take any action. I’ve chosen not to ask the Holy Spirit for help and here I am. Now, clearly that’s my perception. But going back to what Rev Deb and I are talking about, I don’t have that little willingness to allow the Holy Spirit to come into this perception of a major problem I’m experiencing. I’m done.

31:12 DP: Yeah, that’s what he tasks us to do. [laughter] Bring him in. So, here it goes and in a few moments once I finish these last two paragraphs with my thoughts, we’ll open up the phone lines so you can call in and share your thoughts as well. So, paragraph six… He says the Holy Spirit asks of you but this, “Bring to him every secret you have locked away from him. Open every door to him and bid him enter the darkness and lighten it away. At your request, he enters gladly. He brings the light to darkness if you make the darkness open to him, but what you hide, he cannot look upon. He sees for you unless you look with him. He cannot see. The vision of Christ is not for him alone, but for him with you. Bring therefore all your dark and secret thoughts to him and look upon them with him. He holds the light, and you the darkness. They cannot coexist when both of you together look on them. His judgement must prevail, and he will give it to you as you join your perception to his.” That’s our instructions.

32:42 DP: So instead of keeping one, two, 12 things secret… Holding on to them from the Holy Spirit… “Oh, he can’t help me with this.” Maybe it’s a family member. Maybe it’s your worry about your health. “Oh, he can’t help me with this. He’s supposed to just help me with… With relationships.” Well, you have the relationship with yourself and he can help you with that. That’s what he’s saying is that, “When we’re willing to allow those to come up and out.” Let’s say, “Hey, Holy Spirit, look at this with me.” Because when we look at it, we’re looking at it with the shivers of fear. Looking at it with fear, and everything that falls under that category, right? Anger, sadness, etcetera. We’re looking at it through fear. How can we possibly see anything differently, any hope to whatever the situation is, whether it’s financial, physical, emotional, mental, whatever. How can we see any hope if we’re looking at it ourselves and we think we know what the answer is?

34:09 DP: We get stuck in our head about it. We try to make it too intellectual. No. He brings the light to darkness if you make the darkness open to him. Holy Spirit, this is what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid I’m going to die. I’m afraid I’m never going to be healthy again. I’m angry that this is occurring. I’m sad that this is occurring. And on top of it, I’m discombobulated. It’s throwing a wrench into the monkey works. Then what happens? “Look at this with me, Holy Spirit. Tell me what you see.” So, there, you uncover those dark and secret thoughts. You say, “Look at them with me. Here comes this holy light. You are loved. You are cared for. You are safe. You can trust me. We will get through this together.”

36:00 DP: See when we’re holding that darkness we’re keeping ourselves isolated and alone. Even if we’re complaining to a friend, or venting. No we want to do the work and this is what’s going on. Look at this with me, and the thing is, as once you allow that right part of your mind to shine the truth on it, you’ll be more at peace, you’ll be able to rest, you’ll be able to sleep at night. You won’t be as anxious. And joining with him and seeing is the way in which you learn to share with him the interpretation of perception that leads to knowledge. And sharing the perception with him teaches us how to recognise what we see. It’s his will that we know the truth. So let it be yours. So before you make your comments, Gail, I’m going to go ahead and give the number if anyone is listening and would like to call in and share some insights and thoughts that you had. The number is 608-514-1487, or you can Skype audio into MiraclesOne Radio Show.

38:02 GB: Well, I think your comments were so helpful. I think that this reading, which I haven’t read for quite a while, reminds me of Lesson 24 “I do not perceive my own best interests.” And I think what you said too about how often I certainly have sincerely tried to apply a course in miracles to my relationship with Bill, my husband, and to my parents, who are now both, now they’ve passed on. But there are certain areas of my life, just recently it’s hit me, that I exclude joining with the Holy Spirit. And then in paragraph five, just real quickly, this defense thing in sentence eight, “Defence is like everything you made must be gently turned to your own good, translated by the Holy Spirit from means of self-destruction to means of preservation and release.” I feel like I’m gonna write that sentence down. It’s a beautiful sentence and isn’t that what we do? We follow the ego’s advice or guidance or whatever, direction, to the path of no return and to seek, but do not find.

39:31 GB: So it goes back to what you said as well about this can all be an intellectual exercise, but working with the intellect will get us nowhere. It has to be a relinquishment. And you did a Sunday message on trust. It’s about learning how to trust, and just doing it with baby steps. And I mentioned this before, that Ken Wapnick says, “Don’t skip steps,” and I think all too often those of us, I think this is a good point. Many of us who have studied a Course of Miracles for a while feel we should be further along and we almost are too embarrassed to admit that we’re struggling with some aspect of our life that we may believe seems to be trivial or trite to other people. But if we’re giving it our own meaning by using the ego’s interpretation, it’s not trivial. Because as Rev. Deb was saying it keeps us separate from other people and ourselves, so we’re clearly not joined with God. Okay, I’m done, just in case someone is planning on calling in. I’ll mute.

40:46 DP: We have nobody as yet, but ditto to everything you said [chuckle] of course. And you see the instructions here are simple. But as you were saying there is an area of our lives that we may say “No, I’ll hold on to this area.” What are we really afraid of? Perhaps we’re afraid that it will be resolved. And we make the worst case scenario. Maybe it means I have to leave a relationship, maybe it means I have to move across country, give up the job I’m doing right now, whatever. The Holy Spirit wouldn’t offer anything that would hurt us. That’s the thing. We think it’s gonna hurt. But once it’s removed, whatever that darkness is, you’re like “Oh wow, I didn’t know I could have this much peace.” Just like having a baby.

[laughter]

42:03 DP: It’s painful when you’re going through it. [laughter] Labour and everything. But look what you have when you come out at the end. Or when it comes out at the end, I should say. [laughter] Beautiful baby. And so, you can have a short labour with this, with Holy Spirit or you could have a long labour. It’s up to you. But what’s just stating is a miracle. That’s what comes through on the other side. A new way to see, new way to experience your life. And as we’re going through situations, we may think, “This is the worst that could ever happen to me. Absolute worst.” But then you pick yourself up, you join with Holy Spirit and then you find out, “Wow! I got through that.” And you can look upon it with love and say, “I got through that situation. I relied on the Holy Spirit. I didn’t rely on my own strength because I chose to remember God is the strength in which I trust.” And as you said, Gail, it’s about trust. We hold back because we don’t want to trust. We don’t want to trust the Holy Spirit. As I said before, would he do anything that would be hurtful? It’s only for our own healing. It’s only for us to remember the love. It’s only for us to have that peace that we so much desire.

44:06 GB: I think the other thing, at least I think I was. I’m guilty of those… I often will say, “Well, I’ll tackle this particular issue that’s under the surface are brewing when I get something else resolved.” And what ends up happening for me is then my perception becomes that I have multiple issues in multiple areas of my life because I think it not only demonstrates a lack of trust, at least to my own experience, but impatience. Now I think somewhere on the text, Jesus says, “Divine Patience yields immediate results.” Now he is not talking I don’t believe in terms of what we think of immediate results, but the immediate results he is referencing is peace. You know Light, Joy and Peace.

45:10 GB: I think that many of us because we have an experience that Peace, Joy and Light in full abundance on a consistent basis are still tentative. We are still tentative about trusting that the Holy Spirit knows what is best. And somewhere, I’m not sure where it is, maybe multiple times, his solution, which is joining, obviously, will benefit everybody concerned. So not in my case with this gum stuff it would be Dr. Pearson and may, I mean what purpose could it serve? Well, if I trust the Holy Spirit, it will serve a mighty purpose. But if I am so mired in fear, then I don’t want implants, I don’t want to have her grow bone and all that. I mean, I can’t even tell you why I just don’t want to have that happen and yet I am still limping along, chewing on one side of my mouth. So anyway. Those are just my thoughts for the moment. I’ll mute.

46:29 DP: Well, we think we’ll get somewhere with the sacrifice of been having pain. I deserve this. There’s a part of us that says, “I deserve this,” as long as, as well as the fear that’s with it as well. It’s like I am made to suffer, I’m thinking of [chuckle] Star Wars, C3PO where, many times especially in… Well, the original movies from ’77, ’78, you know what I mean. You know that “Oh, it’s just my lot in life to suffer,” is what he goes around saying. If you get a chance, watch it. Just pay attention how much he complains like that. He is like so much the ego. I remember one time we did a Star Wars marathon with those folks here at MiraclesOne. That was several years ago. And we were laughing at it because it is what the ego tells us. “I’m just made to suffer.”

47:39 DP: So, in your case, “I’m just gonna chew on the right side of my mouth.” It’s like, “Why should I move forward?” What is it we’re really afraid of? We’re afraid we’re gonna be okay. We’re afraid we’re gonna be taken care of, we’re afraid we’re gonna be loved. And the thing is, is we don’t love ourselves. And that’s why we don’t wanna do that. So we’ll sacrifice. But we don’t have to sacrifice in that darkness any longer. I don’t wanna sacrifice anymore. So now I can have something different. I can have peace and in my case I’ll just do those things that I need to do to take care of myself and to love myself. I don’t have to be angry about it anymore. I don’t have to be confused about it or etcetera. I could just say, “Okay. Holy Spirit look at this with me. I want peace.” That’s what’s most important.

48:57 DP: Well, we have no callers today. Any last thoughts you have, Gail? Maybe I’ll just wrap up a little early tonight, today, I mean.

49:04 GB: Well, I was gonna say too, I think you’ve written many emails on your Miracles Google Group Forum about the danger of folly. Of making comparisons. And I think that when we go into a state and I’m sure I have with this whole gum thing, of suffering or sacrifice, it’s also self pity involved. All those S’s. Everybody has it easier than I do in this area. I can easily become narcissistic. I’m the only one with this particular challenge, whatever it may be. Or my life is the worst. How could anybody understand?

49:50 DP: Right. [laughter] You’re so right.

49:52 GB: No, I mean I think that that’s true and I find that in many of the forms in which I, in fact all of the forms in which I participate within MiraclesOne as I’ve said before in our Thursday night class, I find that by trusting my fellow students, fellow participants, mighty companions, I realized that if I can trust them as fellow human beings, I can certainly trust God. Because I haven’t, for example when I’m telling you about this gum thing you’re not sitting there and going, “Oh my God that is just awful. That is just so terrible, you poor thing, you poor thing.” I mean really, that would be false sympathy. But what you’re saying in essence is, “Go to the Holy Spirit.” And share the fear or the trepidation, or the anxiety, or the self crucifixion. I mean whatever form those feelings may take that result from the fear that we’re experiencing ’cause when we’re feeling fear we’re separate from God or the Holy Spirit of Jesus. So those are my parting thoughts. I’m done.

51:09 DP: Yeah, exactly, exactly. Do you wanna hear or not really is what it comes down to is that he said? The beginning here? It’s like, “What do you want? Do you want light or darkness, do you want knowledge or ignorance?” Well, does it hurt to try? Does it hurt to have a little willingness to invite him in. I mean I talk about it a lot as you know. And this is more than the intellectual gymnastics of trying to like, “Oh I’ve got to understand what this paragraph or this section means.” No, I just got to follow the instructions… You just got to follow the instructions.

52:00 DP: This course works and we always say it, if you work it, if you do the work, if you follow the instructions and do as he says. So try it. You’ll like it. [chuckle] You will. So do it. And Gail you mentioned our Google group that we have. Certainly if anything that you’ve heard today has inspired some thoughts or some insights that you wanna share with us, you can find that Google group… Well if you go to our website, www.miraclesone.org, there’s a link for that. We also have a Facebook group, the MiraclesOne Practical Application Facebook group that you can join too. So once again, if you wanna share some insights and thoughts that you have. And certainly I want to mention today was the big day of the announcement, the exciting event taking place in April 2015 in New York City and that is the Course of Miracles Conference. Rev. Paul and myself will be there once again presenting and teaching with, I think there’s a total of 20 presenter/presenter teams that will be speaking and offering workshops that weekend.

53:13 DP: And we’re certainly honoured and glad to be there to meet with all of you, share with you, talk with you, have lunch with you, [chuckle] whatever. And so, I hope you’ll register and be a part of that. ‘The Present Love, A Present Love’ is the theme for the conference. So that link is www.acimconference.org, and as always if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve heard today, benefited in some way, consider making a donation to MiraclesOne ’cause you help us to do the work that we share with you. Can’t do it without you. It’s a joint venture. So you can make a donation on our website and certainly find all the resources that you need for a practical application of a Course of Miracles.

54:00 DP: Once again our website is www.miraclesone.org. So with that I wish you much much peace, till next time. Oh let me tell you what’s coming up next time. [chuckle] I forgot to do that. Okay, well that is text Chapter 13, Section 3, “The fear of redemption” as we continue this month’s theme of “Hide and seek.” So with that now I wish you peace. Have a great day everyone.