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Friday, April 17, 2009

Back from the Break

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

So I guess a couple weeks of get-away was worth it huh? Here I am, back on blogging after leaving silently for a couple of weeks. It was a boredom attack, mixed with loneliness, and routines, and pessimism, and the thought of everything would change but it didn’t.

Everybody needs a break once in a while.

It’s the time they contemplate carefully about taking the next step. What is the next step for me?

I think I’ve been asking that very question too many times already. This blog is filled with my ups and downs. I know, because I am me.

But now I also know that I’ve succeeded in the changing part. I’m no longer clueless about my current living situation, I mean... I used to think about what job should I do if not teaching? How can I get out of this teaching “trap” without making myself poor and moneyless? How can I figure out my next move?

I’ve had the answer to all of that.

I will continue teaching as usual, but for the last time now. This is the last year. I will stop teaching next year, next June. In June 2010, I will be moving on to a new job. A job which will have been prepared for me, by myself throughout this next one year.

Starting this May, my father will guide me to the life of a businessman. I want to create a business of my own. I haven’t figured out the specific yet, but I know. This is the way to the future. It’s also the way out of teaching. I need a commitment, and I’m making one with myself right now.

The training will take the whole year, until next year, in which time I shall be ready to be on my own. But it’s not the only plan I have for my career. As soon as Comic Garden is back on, I will strive to learn as many as I can about Karaoke. This is something that I love. I think I can make a living out of it. But I will have to learn first. Right now, I just know a little. It’s not enough for me. I need to be a Karaoke developer. I want to. I can do this, I’m sure.

This break didn’t just help me clarify what I want in my career life. I’m talking about my love life as well. I believe I’ve had an epiphany. It’s the way to have the change I always wanted.

Do you want to know?

Struggle.

It’s the key. I’ve finally known how to struggle to find my true love, instead of wishing on a wishing star. Instead of talking about her. Instead of doing nothing.

I forced myself to be braver, and to seize opportunities. It’s not like the YES MAN program. It’s about choosing the right ones amongst the opportunities that present, or figuring out which one will be the right one.

I’ve met new people and I’m on the verge of falling in love. And it is fun and new. I will be lonely no more, that’s for sure. Because I’ve known my ways. And if this one goes down, I will have another way.

This new optimism turns out to still have pessimism inside it. I was feeling pessimistic earlier today when I shouldn’t have to. When something happens that suggest things may turn out against my will, I tend to wallow in self-doubt which will turn in to a big question mark of “Why?”

But then another thing happened today, and it made me feel much relieved. I was wrong, after all. My life is on the right track. My love life is too, so to speak.

As for my ragethread website, I like to think that it was a product of the rage inside me. Plus it was funny, so there you go : Rage + Funny = Failed Attempt of a Website that could have been great.

Right now the site is closed. I don’t know what the long term plan is. Maybe someday I’ll reopen it and reupgrade it into a whole other server and add adsense into it which will give me a lot of money...

Like I said,

Maybe.

:)

But right now, my blog, I’m home. And I’m happy. We’ve come a long way.