Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Milkmaid

The
Ranch Hand’s Diary:

Milkmaid

Norma
the milk cow and her calf Little Dude are let back out to pasture. In the
evenings, Greg rides Blue out to collect them and bring Norma in to be milked. The
morning milking responsibility is usually split between Darby and Sami, me,
Jesse, Greg and Morgan. But on Thursday, Greg will go with Karen to the farmer’s
market and it will be up to me to do the evening milking. It’s on the weekly
chore list with my name typed in bold letters.

Wednesday
night at dinner I say, "Greg, do you think in the morning you could leave
Norma in?"

He
doesn't say no, but he says, "You could saddle up the grey horse and ride
out to get her. That would be fun."

Yeah,
I could do that.

The
next morning, after I’ve dumped the compost into the composting pile, I go over
and help Greg as he’s milking, first handing him the bucket of hot water and a washcloth
to wash Norma's udders and then plugging in the generator to the pump.

"How
bad of an idea is it for me to ride bareback?" I ask. Saddling up and
gearing up is making the evening chore seem like an ordeal to me.

"Not
a bad idea at all," he says. "If you have time this afternoon you
could ride Johnnie around here in the corral to see how he does."

After
my morning chores, I take a carrot out to where Johnnie, Louie, and Senator are
grazing. I give out bits of carrot to all. Then I halter Johnnie, the grey
horse, and lead him to the corral. There, I bridle him and try to get him to
stand lengthwise alongside the fence so that I can climb on up. He doesn't go
for it. So then I lead him to an overturned watering tub and use that to gain
enough height so that I can slide a leg over and scramble onto his back.

Johnny
hasn't been ridden in weeks. He kicks up his heels in protest and tries to
fight the bit. I walk him around the corral until I’m comfortable that he's at
least pretending I'm in charge. I take him a little ways outside the corral and
then I lead him back to his pasture home. There, I dole out more carrots and
then go back to do more chores.

My
legs shake as I walk to the lodge. Riding bareback is about leg control. I must
have been hanging on pretty tightly.

At
lunch, I tell Greg what I've done and how Johnnie behaved. He thinks the
evening will be fine. He says that riding with just a halter is also a lot of
fun.

In
the afternoon as Jesse and I are cleaning up after lunch, I ask, "You want
to go out and ride a little?"

"Yes,"
she says, a bright light in her eyes.

Johnnie
and Louie are best buds. Inseparable. Somewhat codependent. I'm not sure if it
will be easier or harder if we take them both when the time comes to get Norma.
For now, for our afternoon jaunt, Jesse and I decide to ride bareback and with
only halters. It seems so much more symbiotic. Johnnie is calmer with Louie
there with him.

We
ride around the corral some. Louie bucks a bit to see if Jesse will fall off.
She won't. So he settles down. "You want to ride up to the gate?" she
asks.

"Yeah,
sure," I say.

We
head out the open corral gate and up toward the main ranch gate. Once there, we
decide we’re not quite done. It's fun. It’s a sunshiny day, the landscape is
breathtaking, and we’re riding horses. Moments like this are perfect ones. It's
like we’re getting a small vacation in the middle of our work day.

We
mosey across the field, pass the stream, and weave through some trees. On the
way back, we pick it up to a trot. Louie has a faster gait and Johnnie, not
liking being left behind, steps into a gallop. Louie isn't feeling it. He bucks
up. Jesse keeps her seat. "He hit me in the chin," she says, over her
shoulder.

"Ouch,"
I say.

The
knot I've tied to make Johnnie's halter work as reins slips loose and I slide
off and walk the last few feet to their makeshift, electric fence corral. Jesse
and I disconnect the electricity and put them inside. We hand out carrots to
everyone, reconnect the electricity, and then walk back to do our afternoon
chores.

With
my two trial runs, I feel set for tonight's roundup. More or less. Pretty much.

Greg
and Karen go to the farmer’s market.

Jesse
and I stay behind and work. While we’re setting up for dinner, I tell Laura,
"Greg says it's easy, that Norma comes right in. That probably means you
should be standing by with the camera or a video camera. It could end up being
hilarious." She says she'll take pictures.

After
dinner, it's go time. Jesse and I set up the milking equipment. We bring Louie
and Johnnie in so we can mount up by way of the overturned water tub. Right or
wrong, we're riding bareback and only using halters to guide.

We
ride across the field.

Norma
is a Holstein. She's big and white with black patches over her coat. She's easy
to spot. There, next to her, small with the same black and white coat is the Little
Dude. At the sight of us, Norma stands up. We get behind her and begin the slow
journey back toward the barn.

Johnnie
likes to follow. He wants to be right behind Louie. Nose to tail close. I have
to work, turning him in a tight circle, to get him to flank Norma. I manage to get
him to go where I want him to go. We’re doing just fine. We’re over halfway
there. For a split second I think we’re going to make it in as easy as Greg had
said it would be. But then, the horses get it into their heads that they want
to get home faster. They start to trot and Norma gets spooked. She darts off to
the left and I can't get Johnnie going fast enough to cut her off. That ‘ol milk
cow heads back to the pasture with the Little Dude and Jesse and Louie
following.

Johnnie
fights me, fights for control of his head. I turn him in a tight right-hand
circle and try to nudge him back out after all the others. He's not going for
it. He takes us into the corral. He wants to call it done for the day. Me too, pal. For minutes, five, ten,
three, fifteen? I don't know how long, I turn him and tap my heels into his sides,
but he won't leave the corral. He’s dug his hooves in and is determined to
stay.

Jesse
is out there, somewhere, chasing Norma on her own. It's not even really her
chore. "Come on, Johnnie," I say, nudging, circling, pleading. Jesse
is out there, somewhere, possibly carried away into the sunset on a fast-moving
Louie. For an instant, I consider abandoning Johnnie and going out on foot, but
that would admit defeat. That would teach Johnnie that I'm a pushover. I'm not
a pushover.

I
turn Johnnie toward the open gate and this time he goes through. We make a very
slow way back across the pasture. I spur him into the occasional trot, but he
prefers to walk. I consider pushing him to canter, but I'm not sure I can
handle the speed. I'm not sure I want to.

Finally,
there ahead in the trees, on the far side of the pasture, I see a flash of
black and white. It's Norma. Behind her like a pro is Jesse still on Louie. She
gets Norma going in the right direction and I hold Johnnie back until I can get
into a better flanking position.

Suddenly,
like a miracle, we’re all pointed in the right direction.

The
horses are impatient. They want their heads to run on home. Johnnie starts up a
rocky trot and then lengthens his stride into a gallop. I hang on for dear
life, grasping his mane and trying to keep my seat. I pull on the halter and
slow him down. Ahead of me, Jesse is hauling back on Louie’s halter for all
she's worth, trying to keep him behind Norma. That crazy cow will spook if we
get too close. Neither of us wants to start all over again.

By
a cocktail of sheer luck and a lot of work, we get Norma into the corral. We
follow behind her on the horses and then dismount as if it were all in a day’s
work. Easy. We secure the horses’ halters to the hitching post and leave them
to wait until after the milking is done.

We
only get a half gallon of milk. It seems like a lot of work for a little bit of
milk.

We
let Norma back out, put the horses away, and get the milk bottled up and all the
equipment washed and put in its place.

We’re
both exhausted as we walk back toward our cabin that evening. "You always
see those pictures of milkmaids leading milk cows placidly in to be
milked," I say. "Why can't it be like that?"

"Yeah,
that's not how it is," Jesse says.

Jesse
and I do our chores together. We're a team, but not codependent like Louie and
Johnnie. We walk on home past the field filled with cows. We’re both thinking
that tomorrow it’s Jesse's chore to do the morning milking. We're both thinking
that we might use bridles this time. I'm thinking maybe a saddle too.

I
go to bed with the saying, "Sufficient for the day are the troubles therein"
in the forefront of my mind. But it's hard not to plan ahead, to think about
doing that all over again, to worry about what tomorrow will bring.

I
sleep the sleep of the innocent and the hard worked; full and deep. I wake up
thinking about milkmaids.

Dressed
for the day, I shoulder my backpack and head out the door. In the pasture I see
the white and black figure of Norma the milk cow. I wonder, I think. With that thought, I start her way. When I get
close, she turns her head and eyes me with those big eyes. "You want to
have a milk cow with pretty eyes," Greg has said more than once. He loves
the cows.

"Come
on, mama," I say.

She
gets to her feet. The Little Dude, his sleep interrupted, gets up too. Norma
begins to walk in the direction of the barn. Slowly. I walk behind her, also
slowly, moving right to left as she thinks about getting off track. But she
knows where to go, what to do. What she's supposed to do. This way, with the
calf trailing behind, we make it all the way to the corral.

Jesse
comes out of the kitchen to see what will happen. Greg and Boss the dog stop their
work and watch our progress. Greg shrugs. "That works," he says.
"It's not as much fun though." I've
had an awful lot of fun, I think, I'll
take this for now. Boss gets behind the Little Dude who has balked at the
gate and gets him in. "Good job, Boss," Greg tells him.

As
Jesse and I are getting the milking stuff together, she says, "I'm so glad
you walked her in. I've been contemplating that all morning."

"Me
too," I say. "Since last night. I didn't know if I could handle an
adventure this early."

We
get nearly four gallons of milk from Norma. After her udder is slack and we've
undone the milking suction cups, Norma lets out a big sigh.

"Thank
you, mama," we tell her. She and the Little Dude head back out to graze.
Jesse and I pull the milk cart back to the lodge and began the process of
bottling and cleaning. We work contentedly. The hardest part of our day is now
over.