I read with interest an article on my news feed about the top ten reasons couples break up. It was very similar to a previous article on relationships. It mentions these reasons couples break up: no sex, money issues, empty nesting, bad communications, not compromising, cheating (duh), not enough in common, some really hard stuff happens -- and it just doesn't work anymore, one person is a total mess, and not being kind and generous with the other person. I’m really concerned about the next ten reasons couples break up. As a community services, I’ll provide those here:

11. Imminent Death. These signs should be a red flag that your significant other might be planning to do away with you: secretly making bombs as a hobby and then trying to teach you how to drive a truck, buying gallons of antifreeze even though you don’t own a car, not telling you the balcony on your high-rise apartment has been removed, telling you to eat food that has been recalled and buying excessive life insurance on you.

12. Too much sex. Let’s face it – too much sex is exhausting. Plus, it’ll get you banded from places like Walmart and Macy’s.

13. Your significant other has forgotten your name or worst – keeps calling you by another name.