Whatever, some of them have names which you can fling about with wild abandon when standardised expletives escape you. Here we go!

1. Ram Cichlid

Ramming stuff, in general, is considered pretty insulting. Indeed, if you ram another car off a road, for instance, this is deemed “illegal” and “you’re not allowed to do that” as it’s rude and what not.

Whatever. Bloody PC nanny state society… what’s the world coming to?! Anyway, this fish is way ahead of the game.

3. Pollock

Simultaneously frighteningly close to Jackson Pollock and a part of the male anatomy, the pollock is a work of art and a depraved perversity in one. That’s some good going.

4. Common Roach

Everyone hates a commoner, which is why some people need to be summed up as a commoner and a roach all in one.

Shout this at someone on a crowded bus and it will draw gasps of horror so, indeed, use it wisely.

5. Common Snook

Yelling this at someone on a bus, however, will initiate a state lockdown from the local authorities. It’s a barbed insult of such intensity few people can hear it without crying like idiots. Take that, polite society!

6. Blobfish

The world’s most morbidly obese fish is also a bit of an insulting SOB. The blobish is a blob. Call someone this and you’re calling them a blob. Harsh but harsh.

7. Haddock

One of the tastiest fish out there, haddock is also one of the most hilarious names for anything ever.

This is an insult meant it jest; it’s something you’ll call your besty, or some such. You’d go: “You haddock, you!” You then both chortle as bestys are want to do, but then you’ll go and write scathing remarks about each other in private areas of social media.

8. Guppy

This sounds a bit like “yuppy”, which means someone is a consumerist moron. A guppy is the same thing, but more about fish. Essentially, someone who uses this against another person is described this person as a sushi addled moron. Kind of like ourselves, then.

9. Gilt-head Bream

The Git-head Bream is possibly the most unfortunately named fish in history. Which evil fool called the creature this?

What sort of issue did someone have with a fish to call it that right out of the net? We’re guessing it was a belligerent fool – perhaps he caught this and it bit him on the head, to which he announced:”Git head!”, thusly forming a lasting legacy and a fantabulous insult.

10. Boga

Bogeys? Oh, no. Boga! Yes, you boga.

And One More for Bad Luck…

11. Crap

Also known as the “carp” by dyslexic people, ignoramuses, and general idiots, you can go around announcing “carp” and you’re only ever a small step away from profanity. That’s what living on the edge is well and truly about!

Well… you can laugh AND insult people at the same time. We tried this out earlier when we called our office hamster, Steve, a “boga” and then started shrieking like Janice from Friends. It was an odd experience. We don’t recommend it.

Good to hear it! You can use normal expletives, of course, but we like to be different. You can, however, combine fish expletives with standard expletives. Such as this: “You gosh darned blobfish SOB!” Which is pretty cool.