8 Keys for Being Irresistible to New Business

How is your year going?

I’m only posting twice a month, so I’ve made this a mega-post I hope you find incredibly helpful. Once you’ve had a chance to take a look, would you email me and let me know what topic you’d like me to tackle for next time?

Lately, I’ve been a witness to a number of people trying to “make business happen,” all the while struggling and striving. Truly, they are struggling when they could be attracting and thriving. You see, it is possible to force people to do business with you, to bully them into submission, to give you a yes to shut you up when they really want to say “No!” and run the other direction.

And, why on Earth would you want to do that? I know you wouldn’t! You most likely want to work with and serve, the exact right people at the exact right time, effortlessly exceeding your goals, achieving the mega-success you dream about, and (you know I can’t resist!) turn your Vision to Reality! While I’m a believer in the Law of Attraction, I also believe, “As you pray, move your feet.” In other words, with a vision, goals, and intention must come good old-fashioned action. I know from experience there are actions you can take to magnify your desired positive results, and today I’m sharing the 8 Keys to Being Irresistible to New Business.

Short of sending you to a charm-school intensive, these are the top tried-and-true methods for upping your approachability aptitude and magnetizing new business.

Key #1: Know What’s Up and Have a Positive Conversation Starter. Remember when you had to “keep up with current events” in school? The grown-up version is to be aware of what’s going on in the world … but not so aware that is causes you to stress or have high anxiety. I subscribe to The Skimm, and in about three minutes I’m up to date on current events. That way when someone asks your opinion on world events, you can weigh in. Note: I suggest avoiding highly-charged topics such as sex, politics or religion. Do you agree? What topics do you avoid? I’d love to know.

There’s also another tactic that will make you an interesting conversationalist and help you increase your motivation level and positive attitude (in ways the news never can): read a fabulous book (for some top-notch suggestions go here or listen to the James Altucher Show, Entrepreneur on Fire or Hal Elrod’s Achieve Your Goals podcast. You’ll stumble upon a nugget you can be ready to share with the people you meet over the course of the day, creating interest in you and, more than likely, your products or services. In other words, be ready to initiate a positive conversation with everyone you meet, and those same people will be attracted to your positive energy, want to know more about you, spend more time around you, and get to know you. Can you see how this would exponentially increase the likelihood they engage you and your services or buy your products as well?

Key #2: Find and Focus on Common Points of Interest {CPIs}. The fastest rapport builder in existence is discovering and discussing what you have in common with someone. Whether you’re from the same small hometown, have the same alma mater, or love the same hobby, discovering those CPIs will make you instantly fascinating. How do you uncover these relationship-enhancing gems? Well, thank you for asking!

Use the “W” questions: Who, What, When, Where and Why? Who are you? Who do you work for? What do you do for a living? What are you excited about? When is your next vacation? When did you graduate? Where are you from? Where do you live {what part of town}? Why do you do what you do? Why did you move here? These questions, when asked from a state of curiosity, can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship … and we all know that people want to do business with their friends: people they know, like and trust. By asking the right questions, listening intently, and engaging and being engaging, you become someone everyone looks forward to knowing and hiring.

Key #3: Be “fabulous,” “excellent,” or “fantastic!”My brother Justin was born when I was 11 years old, and by the time he was 3 years old, my father had taught him to “Fantastic!” whenever someone asked, “How are you?” Cute on a 3-year-old, and he even answered that way after he’d fallen off his bike and was nursing a boo-boo. What was interesting to watch was the way that word “fantastic” affected not only him but the people around him. What’s even more interesting is that almost no-one uses “fantastic” when describing how they are as adults. And yet, there are studies that show that the words you use impact you, more than you might think.

Consider this: when someone upsets you-you can become “miffed,” you can feel “angry,” or you can become “enraged.” You might note that those three words all have a different impact on you when you read them. Imagine the deeper impact the words you choose have on your stress and anxiety levels. Now, let’s go the opposite direction: instead of answering, “I’m okay,” to “How are you?” try,“If I were any better, I’d be twins!”or say“I’m getting better and better,” on those days when you’re aren’t feeling 110%. You’ll feel better because you’re declaring it is so. In addition, you will feel amazing to those around you, and by virtue of the fact that you’re a positive person, you will find more and more people wanting to work with you and purchase your products or services. See what I did there? Here’s your action step: define your standard answer to “How are you?” right now, and be sure your answer is something awesome to live up to.

Key #4: Open Up. Just as when I suggested finding common points of interest with anyone you talk with, I’m also going to suggest you make sure your body language encourages people to approach and interact with you. In the fantastic book What Every BODY is Saying by Joseph Navarro {a former FBI counterintelligence officer and recognized expert in body language}, you can learn a lot about body language … both what others are saying with theirs, and what you’re saying with yours. A few suggestions to get you started: smile with your whole face. A closed-lipped smile just isn’t the same as when you’re showing your pearly whites. Crossing your arms and legs conveys, at the very least, disinterest, and at the very most, hostility. Keep your limbs uncrossed and while you’re at it, make solid eye contact and practice good listening skills. The best conversationalists, ironically, are those folks who listen more than they speak. Practicing open body language is just one more way others will feel good from being around you, and when people come in contact with your openness, they are more like to open their wallets. Do you agree?

Key #5: Say What YOU Want. What you want in your life and business, and what you’ve actually got, may just not be the same thing. In fact, I’m going to bet they aren’t at all the same. And, you may have all sorts of reasons about why this is so: the economy sucks, or the old, “I have to settle for what I can get, Coach” or even, “I’m lucky I even have anything.” I’m going to throw a big BS up on the screen there Sparky, and say what you’ve got has everything to do with you and very little to do with anything else. You’ve got what you’ve got because (a) you haven’t had the courage to ask for what you really want, and (b) you’ve settled for what you’ve been given. The most attractive people in the world are those who speak their minds, say what they want and how they want it {in a nice, respectful way, of course}. If you’re tired of “I’m lucky I even have anything.” or even, “I have to settle for what I can get, Coach” and want something more, well, what is it exactly that you want?

If you’re charging $1000 for something worth $3,500, why are you doing that? Because you think people will only pay $1000? They will if that’s what you ask for. Are you insuring Gremlins instead of Maseratis? That’s because you’re not asking the right questions of the right people. Starting right there with yourself. Ultimately, you have to a-s-k to g-e-t … but first, you’ve got to define exactly what you want and be determined not to settle for less. What you might not know is that affirmations work, and an affirmation is anything you say over and over (even if it’s not in the affirmative). “I never have enough time,” said over and over is an affirmation, but is that really what you want, to not have enough time? Of course not … so instead say, “I always have enough time for what’s important to me” and you will. This works with business, too … “My clients happily pay my fee and constantly refer new clients to me.” That’s what we call an affirmation jingle, and it works like a charm. Don’t believe me? Go ahead — try to prove me wrong by saying it over and over for a week, and then let me know what happens…

Key #6: Say What YOU Want {Part Deux}. Now that you know what you want in the first way I meant it let’s get clear on what you want regarding communication and your connections. In other words, there are many ways to get information from family, friends, clients, customers and connections, but I’m going to guess you have your favorites. Some people love phone calls; other people loathe the phone. The best way to track me down is by texting me; the worst way is through Facebook Messages {I hardly ever see them}. I love a great phone call, but only during certain hours, the rest of the time you can send me an email {which I will do my best to respond to within 2 business days}. By all means, let the rest of the world in on your communication preferences … you’ll be easier to reach and a happier person. Happy people are magnetic! If you’re never going to listen to your voicemail, change your out-going message with the best way to reach you, and keep your voicemail full so no new messages can be left. If email is a huge irritant, put an auto-responder about the best way to connect with you. Every possible means of communication is meant to make your life easier, and yet I see so many people complaining because their inboxes are overflowing and they are far behind in their responses. Make communication fun and effective for you, and in turn, you make yourself irresistible to others. Make sense?

Key #7: Double Your Self-Confidence. Ultimately, magnetism and attractiveness come down to how much you like yourself. The more you like yourself, dare I say love yourself {and I do!}, the more others will like you, too. I’m not talking conceit or arrogance. I believe those two characteristics are symptomatic of an insecure person. In fact, when I see someone throw a fit or become incredibly irritated, those to me are indicators that person isn’t happy with themselves. I recently said to my friend, Hal Elrod, “I really want you to be happy.” His response was incredibly telling, “I’m always happy.” That is my experience of him, and his words were true. He really is always happy (yes, even with a cancer diagnosis). He’s happy because he has done the work to keep his self-confidence and self-esteem high, and it is apparent to all those who come into contact with him. Your ability to be happy in the face of unhappy and challenging circumstances is in direct proportion to your self-confidence. The more you work on yourself, the happier and more magnetic you will be. The work is free; the results are priceless. Worth it? I’d say so! I’ve done a fair amount of work in this area myself, and it all started with this book (which I highly recommend you read, re-read, and re-read). The Self-Confidence Formula from the book is one place I’m directing you because it will work like a charm … and so will you!

Key #8: Be authentic.It is counterintuitive to be authentic with others, and yet, when we open ourselves up and show our deepest desires and fears to others, we become more human. In fact, the more authentic you are, the more comfortable you are in your own skin and show it, the more enticing you will be to others. We’re taught to keep our troubles and our big goals to ourselves, and I’m in no way suggesting you go completely open kimono and tell everyone all of your problems or your goals (there’s a time and a place … let common sense be your guide), but it’s okay now and then to say, “I’m having a rough time” and in the right space and time, with the right person, you will endear yourself to them in a way like no other. On the flip side, sharing what you’re most excited about: such as a big win or a BHAG (more about those in here) you’re working on, will cause the person you’re talking to also get excited! Ultimately, you’re looking to connect in the best way possible. I will leave you with this thought:

You can’t do the wrong thing with the right person; you can’t do the right thing with the wrong person.{Tweet this!}

So, be authentically yourself, and the right people will think you’re the fa-shizzle. And, they’ll most likely hire you or buy from you on the spot.