WTF Friday, 11/10/2017

Honestly. Every one of these weeks is like a thousand years long. I could add FFS Saturday and JFC… Tuesday (?) and it’d still barely be the tip of the iceberg. But soldier on we must.

This week:

Burundi ordered all unwed couples to marry by the end of the year, or else. (Else = fines and jail time.) The campaign is part of President Pierre Nkurunziza’s efforts to “moralize” Burundian society. Because obvs people dating is a way bigger moral threat than all the crimes against humanity and whatnot. (h/t: Stephanie Schwartz)

News broke that the UN released war crimes suspects in the Central African Republic ahead of the 2015 election to “appease the electoral process”. One for Team Peace in interminable Peace vs. Justice debate?

Our old friend Duterte, whose government is currently engaged in a jaw-droppingly bloody campaign to wipe out the drug trade, has offered to host a world summit on “how we can protect human rights”. I have a suggestion…

And somehow, against all odds, Drake got even Drake-ier this week:

I really need “collecting Birkin bags for your future wife” to become shorthand for a particular sort of allegedly-romantic-but-actually-self-centered-and-performative male behavior. Can we make that happen?