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Monday, April 21, 2008

Here's a little bit of singable prose in honor of Earth Day, National Poetry Month, and Accretionary Wedge #8. (A disclaimer: I am definitely not a poet. Read or sing aloud at your own risk.)

To the tune of "The Major General's Song":

I am the very model of a young environmentalist,I've signed enough petitions to wear out the tendons in my wrist,I know the ways to turn my house into a green and clean abode,And I covet all the hybrid cars that I see humming down the road;I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters of the atmosphere,I'm nervous that we're losing all the ozone in the stratosphere,About the global warming trend I've listened to a lot o' news,And worried that the rising seas will raise demand for rubber shoes.

I'm very good at turning out the lights when I leave home each day;For reused glass and cans and plastic products I am apt to pay:At work when I see paper in the trash I'm likely to get pissed,I am the very model of a young environmentalist.

I compost scraps and strew my lawn with decomposed banana peels;My feet are shod in bamboo cloth and soled with bits of semi wheels,I quote from pamphlets mailed to me in droves by the Sierra Club,And never think of using bleach or solvents when I clean my tub;I scoff at people in the West whose water goes to golfing greens,I always use the cold rinse cycle, not just when I'm washing jeans,I give thumbs up to lights equipped with CFLs and LEDs,And absolutely nothing makes me happier than hugging trees.

Then I write letters faithfully to senators and congressfolk,And say that dire warnings on the state of Earth are not a joke:In short, my future home's good health should be on top of every list,I am the very model of a young environmentalist.