The gospel on celebrity and pop culture

PREACH IT! Charlie Sheen says he can’t do jail time because he needs cigarettes

June 16, 2010 | 11:10
am

Charlie Sheen’s apparent insistence on access to tobacco seems to be holding up his punishment stemming from his Christmas Day attack on wife Brooke Mueller.

Per Radar, the sitcom-star-slash-hot-mess is trying to cut a deal to swap jail time for probation. His previous deal called for a month behind bars, which, according to analysts, was expected to be cut to something closer to two weeks with good behavior.

The previous deal also would have allowed him to go on work release and hang out in a local theater, perhaps delivering acting lessons or Q&As with locals. But the local jail administrative officer nixed that plan, saying that Sheen wasn’t eligible for such a sweet deal. Instead, Beverly Campbellargued, Sheen was more suited for a different plan, one that would let him leave jail during the day but would not allow him to smoke.

Now Sheen is arguing that he deserves only probation, and he’s citing two reasons:

He wants to take care of his kids in case wife Mueller needs rehab

He seriously can’t do without cigarettes.

Sheen wouldn't be allowed to smoke if he did jail time.

There was a time in the past when Sheen and Mueller were both in rehab at the same time, and a third party cared for the kids. But Sheen doesn’t want that to happen again; he "really wants to be there for them," a source told Radar.

Right.

To his credit, Sheen is providing us with some fabulous entertainment. At least it's funnier than his sitcom.