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Hot mess

Date two was great. He cooked me dinner, if I remember correctly it was the most amazing pork loin. We had some drinks and I quickly realized that making the 40 minute drive home would not be a good idea. I asked what he was expecting me to do, he said that he would sleep on the couch – which I informed him would not be necessary. We took a selfie in our hoodies to share on Facebook.

I asked him what he was thinking. And when he told me that he “didn’t want to say” I took that as meaning he wanted to get laid. Later I found out that he was thinking he “may have found the one”.

I put out. Why not. It was alright, not extraordinary but not bad.

Here is where things started to go wrong…

The third or fourth time we hung out – I drive 40 minutes in a fucking blizzard. As I am pulling into his neighborhood he informs me that one of his friends is over. I’m sorry, we just met and I was anticipating getting to spend some time with you, don’t drop some fucking bombshell that you have company over. I am not a social butterfly, I hate surprises. Anyway, I walk into the house to see each of these guys sitting at the kitchen table halfway through a 6 pack. I didn’t bother to sit down, I stood off to the side and barely made small talk. I called my mother as a distraction and sat in the living room on the phone until this random guy left. I could tell Justin was pissed, I refused to talk about the situation.

A couple nights later – I once again drive to his house in shit weather. As I am sitting down at the dinner table, before I can take my first bite, he says “hurry up and eat there are some people I want you to meet”. Fucking. Amazing. We eat, we get in the car and I start driving. He gets a phone call from some girl, apparently she is stuck in a ditch and is begging him to come save her. He tells her he is with his girlfriend, she calls him a douche. We finally arrive at this weird couple’s house. The wife is sitting at the table feeding her child while the husband is locked in the bathroom puking. The wife proceeds to repeatedly tell the child that “daddy is stupid”. I am so glad I rushed through dinner for this amazing experience.

To make this whole situation even better earlier in the day Justin asked what I was doing – working – and when I asked what he was doing he informed me that he was “sitting on the couch”. I don’t think 5 minutes passed and he was getting tagged in a photo of mixed drinks in a bar. And apparently the drunk husband had been on an all day bender after Justin left him there. Just fucking classy.

This friend of his that I just had to meet, the one with the 6 pack. Grade A fucking douche bag. About 2 months into my relationship Justin invited me to stay at his house after class. He said that the douche was over but he would be gone by the time I got there. As I am pulling into the driveway I can here the most racist, bigoted fucking song I have ever heard in my life. Every other word was the N-word or derogatory names for homosexuals, I cannot even bring myself to actually spell those words out. When I finally walked in the house I found him passed out in his bed. It took everything I had to actually stay in that house that night.

For the life of me I don’t know what possessed me to take this relationship any farther. I really liked the guy, already knew I wanted to be with him for a substantial amount of time and hell, I needed this distraction from my past. One night he made us dinner, like usual. We sat at the table in silence. I was so fucking frustrated I couldn’t even eat. I just stared at him. We ended up having our first fight. I think he cried, and I was emotional too. I told him all the things that had pissed me off up to that point and he agreed he would make some changes.

Little did I know those changes would end with him completely alienating himself from all of his friends. To this day I think he still blames this all on me, I know that he is miserable and isn’t the person he wants to be. All I asked for was some decent people to hang out with. But all he introduced me to was trash.