Date: Thu, 13 Jul 2000 18:23:49 EDT
From: BrwyMilo@aol.com
Subject: "Nick and Justin" part 43
This is part 43 guys. Got it out a little early this time, huh? =)
Thank you to everyone who's emailed me about the series recently. It's nice
to still be getting new readers after a year of writing this story. And
thanks to all the readers who've been here since the start. OK, well, I
don't usually do this, but I thought I'd recognize a few stories out there
that I think are really great. Of course, Brian and Justin. Recently, I've
also been reading Brian and Me, Not Meant to Be, Nick and Brian, Boy Meets
Backstreet Boy, and Justin's Secrets. There are lots more, but for the sake
of space and time, I thought I'd just name a few. So, to everyone who asked
me what stories I read, there are six of them.
If you have any comments, suggestions, criticisms, words of hate or love,
or...whatever...send them to Mike at BrwyMilo@aol.com. I like to hear what you
guys think of this story and where you'd like to see it go, or where you
think it's heading.
This story is FICTION. Duh. It's not meant to imply anything about the
sexuality or beliefs of anyone or anything involved. If you're too young to
read this or shouldn't be reading this where you are or whatever...well...OK!
On with the story!
*****
JC sat on the bed, one leg on top of the sheets as he tied his sneaker.
He turned his head to the side and saw Brian was still sleeping peacefully,
clutching a pillow as a replacement for JC's body. He grinned slightly and
adjusted his t-shirt in the mirror. He reread the note he had left on the
nightstand next to the bed. He then grabbed his keys and headed out the
door, jogging lightly.
He ran with a quick pace down the street, breathing deeply with each step
to avoid getting a stitch in his side. He sneakers made a loud echo on the
pavement. The streets were empty, the sun barely visible over the horizon.
This was the best time to run. No reporters following you. Very small
chance of a fan spotting you. JC smiled and ran faster, turning around the
corner to run alongside a street with much nicer houses. He looked at each
carefully, trying to figure out the kind of house he would get with Brian.
'Big, but not too big,' he thought to himself. 'With a jacuzzi,' he thought
as he laughed out loud through his now heavy breathing. He saw an old
colonial type house on his right, slowing his pace to stare at it. There was
a stone archway at the entrance to the driveway, with lots of trees on the
property. Based on the width of the house, he imagined it must have had a
huge backyard. He came to a stop momentarily, looking at the different
stones that made up the exterior of the house. There was a chimney on the
right side of the house. 'Fireplace! Gotta have one of those!' Smiling
wider he continued to run, letting his feet guide him more than anything
else.
Slowly, the streets began to get more familiar. JC picked up his pace as
the smile disappeared. He turned around another corner, running still faster
as a thought entered his head. He glanced down at his watch and saw it was
6:45. 'He'd be having breakfast and getting ready for work,' he thought to
himself. He ran now with new-found conviction, turning corners quickly
before finally reaching the large house. He stopped and placed his hands on
his knees, trying to catch his breath. He picked up the bottom of his shirt
and started to wipe his face with it. He then straightened his clothes and
walked up the path to the house, ringing the doorbell once.
Karen Chasez opened the door, a surprised look on her face. She was
wearing her bath robe, her hair still messy from sleep. She looked over her
son carefully and smiled. "Good morning," she said quietly.
"Hi mom," JC said, kissing her cheek lightly. "Dad didn't leave for work
yet did he?"
"No, he's still having breakfast," she said, a little nervous. "I don't
know if now's a good time to...you know."
"Mom, I need to talk to him. And I'm going to make him listen," JC said
with determination.
"JC, you know how your father gets," Karen said in a whisper, looking
back into the house. "You're going to have to give him more time."
"What about you," he asked, looking right into her eyes. "Are you ok
with what I told you the other night?"
Karen leaned against the side of the doorway and dropped her head. When
she picked it back up, she was smiling lightly and nodding. "JC, you're my
baby and you'll always be my baby," she said. "I don't know if this is
really the life I want for you, but as long as you're happy. I don't know!
We'll have to talk more about it."
"Thanks mom," JC said, hugging her again. "I know it's not the easiest
thing to get used to."
"We'll just give each other some time then," she replied, smiling wider.
JC smiled at his mom and then looked past her into the darkened house.
"Mom, I really need to see dad," JC said, entering the house.
"JC, you should-"
"Karen, who's at the door," Roy called gruffly from the kitchen. He
walked into the living room, staring at his son as he entered. Standing
his ground for a minute, JC watched as his father's face changed, from anger,
to pain, to grief...and then finally dismissal. He turned and walked back
into the kitchen.
"Can you go upstairs for a bit," JC asked. Karen looked down towards the
ground, breathing lightly. She nodded and turned towards the stairs.
"He loves you JC," she said, turning back to face her son. "He really
does. He's just not very open-minded." With that she walked up the stairs
quickly.
JC sat down on the arm of the couch for a second, trying to regain his
composure. He looked towards the entrance to the kitchen, feeling as though
it were miles away. His head instantly lowered , looking at the hard wood
floor and throw rugs. When he looked back up, Roy was standing in the
doorway.
"Well, you obviously came here to say something. I'm not going to let
you make me late for work, so you have about 10 minutes to say your peace."
With that he walked back into the kitchen, no doubt to wait for his son to
follow.
JC sighed and stood up, angered by his father's words. He walked swiftly
into the kitchen and sat down across from his father. "It's nice to know you
put a time limit on our relationship dad," JC said spitefully.
"Well maybe you don't have to worry about responsibility right now JC,
but I do," Roy said. He looked at the clock on the wall and then back
towards his son. "Time's ticking."
"When did you get so mean," JC asked, looking a bit confused. "You were
never like this when I was little, were you?"
"Is that what you came here for? To ask why I'm mean," Roy said, an
amused look on his face. He stood up and laughed. "I really don't have time
for this."
"Sit back down," JC ordered. His father's head snapped in his direction,
his eyes flashing red.
"Watch your tone," Roy warned as he sat back down in his chair. He
looked at JC steadily, right in the eyes. "Well?"
"Well, this might be the last time you see me," JC said. "I'm not about
to beg you to come around and try to see things from my side. So, I want to
know right now. Is there any chance in hell that you could accept having a
gay son. If you say no, I'll take it, and say goodbye. But I'm not going to
keep fighting a losing battle. You made your initial reactions quite clear
the other night. Now, I want to know. Is there any chance of us being a
family?"
Roy saw the intensity in JC's eyes, noticing how much he resembled him
when angry. He shook himself out of his trance quickly, only to see JC
standing. "So I guess this was a waste of time then." He turned his back
and started to walk out of the kitchen.
"JC," Roy said quickly. JC snapped his head around, the rest of his body
still facing the door. "You still have five minutes left." JC looked at his
father for a moment, a smile slowly crossing his face, but not too wide.
"Yes, I do. I just wasn't sure if there was any use in using them," JC
said slowly.
"I'm not sure either," Roy said, looking down at the table.
"Then..." JC asked, staring at his father.
"I just don't want you to go away like that. I don't know if I can deal
with having a gay son. I don't know if I'm willing to let you walk out of my
life either though." He looked up at JC. "This isn't an easy decision JC,"
Roy said. "I do love you. I do want you to be happy. I just can't see you
being happy with another man." Roy shook his head and looked down at the
table again, as if the answers to his doubts could be found in his breakfast
crumbs.
JC sighed loudly. "I only came for mom's sake. After what you said to
me the other night I was very willing to never step foot inside this house
again. But, I know how mom would feel, so I thought I'd give this one more
chance, if only for her sake." Roy nodded, still not looking up. JC glanced
over at the clock and swallowed hard. "Looks like my time is up though." JC
looked hard at his father, noticing him nodd. He felt the anger slowly rise
in him as he jumped from his chair. "Well, it was nice doing business with
you then," he said harshly as he ran out of the room, slamming the door
behind him.
Roy remained seated at the table for a few minutes, fighting to hold back
his emotions. He didn't hear his wife enter.
"How did things go," she asked, observing her husband's form carefully.
"He takes after his father," Roy muttered. "Just like his father."
*****
JC shut the door to the apartment quietly, still not knowing if Brian was
awake or not. He crept down the hall lightly, removing his sneakers as he
walked. He took off his shirt, which was now drenched with sweat. He had
jogged for another 30 minutes after he left his parents house, trying to get
rid of his anger. It had worked, but with one side effect. The realization
of having lost his father was just hitting him.
He walked down the hall and peered into the bedroom, immediately noticing
Brian was not there. Then something hit him. He inhaled deeply and could
smell something coming from the kitchen. 'He is not,' he laughed to himself.
He walked quickly into the kitchen and began laughing.
Brian stood behind the stove, in his boxer shorts but wearing an apron.
His hair was still messy from sleep, but he was wide awake. He smiled as he
heard JC's laughter, but didn't turn around right away. He stirred the
scrambled eggs he was making one more time and adjusting the skillet where
the sausage was frying. Then he turned around and looked at JC.
"Good morning," he said with a smile.
"Morning," JC said, leaning against the door way to the kitchen. "I see
you're cooking."
"Yep," Brian said happily. "I read in your note that you were going for
a jog, and I thought you'd get hungry, so..." He watched as JC walked over
to him and brought his arms around his neck.
"How do you always know how to make me feel better," JC asked, a grin
spread across his face.
"What was wrong honey," Brian replied, concern in his voice as he put his
hands on JC's waist.
"Nothing in particular," JC said. "I'm fine now." Brian looked at him a
moment longer, but another smile from JC assured him that he was indeed
alright. "Ya know, you look really sexy dressed like this," JC said, his
eyes drifting downward. He kissed Brian lightly on his neck and then his
chest.
"Oh no you don't," Brian said, pushing him back a bit. "I slaved over a
hot stove. You're not going to let me burn breakfast by...distraction. You
just park your cute little ass at the table and let me finish here."
"Alright," JC laughed, giving Brian a peck on the cheek. He sat at the
table and watched as Brian tended to the cooking food, dancing a bit as he
hummed, and shaking his ass to keep JC entertained. "You give a good show,"
JC said with a whistle.
"Well, I aim to please," Brian said with a smile. "Besides, we don't
have any plans til this afternoon. So after breakfast..."
"Turn up the flame, they'll cook faster" JC said. He giggled slightly
and watched as Brian flipped the eggs one more time. He placed all the food
on two plates and walked over to where JC sat. "Bon appetit."
*****
"Devon, I've never felt so much pain in my entire life," Lance said
through gritted teeth.
"Hey, you promised," Devon said. "Five hundred crunches. Come on."
Devon lay on the floor, his feet at a ninety degree angle as he continued to
exercise. "Only seventy-five left. Come on, you can do it!"
"You sound like some annoying guy on an exercise video," Lance said
bitterly. "My boyfriend the slave driver."
"Less talk, more sweat," Devon said with a snicker. A moment later and
he began counting down from ten. As he reached one, he jumped up and moved
over to Lance. "Upsy dasiy."
"Upsy what," Lance laughed as he rubbed his soar abs.
"Shut up and get up," Devon replied as he pulled Lance to his feet.
"Time for some weights."
"More weights," Lance said in disbelief. "Dude, we did weights like
twenty minutes ago!"
"Exactly. Now it's time for some more!" Devon smiled widely at the
work-out he was putting Lance through. He didn't really exercise this much
every day, but he thought he'd play a little game. "A couple hundred bicep
curls would be good for your image. You could be like Buff Spice or
something."
"We are not the spice girls," Lance said sternly as he approached some
free weights. "We're the New Kids on the Block," he laughed. He picked up a
3 pound weight, ignoring the look Devon was giving him. "If I'm doing a
couple hundred of anything, I'm using as light a weight as possible." He
looked over at Devon and shook his head. "I think I'd die if I lived like
you do. All I ate today was that damn protein drink you gave me!"
"And the strawberries," Devon added. "Can't forget the strawberries."
"Oh right," Lance said. "That was real filling." He continued to
complain as he exercised, causing Devon to laugh as he tried to continue his
workout. After a couple minutes of curls, Lance dropped the weight to the
floor with a thud. "That's it. We've exercised your way quite enough. Now
it's my turn."
"We didn't even get to the ballet bar yet though," Devon said with an
evil grin.
"I have something better in mind," Lance said. He walked over to Devon
and took him by the hand, leading him over to the sauna that was located next
to the gym in the apartment building. Lance walked into the locker room and
began to strip slowly.
"You're not going to get much of a workout in the sauna," Devon said with
a laugh.
"You'll see," Lance said with a grin. He removed his shorts, showing
Devon that he wasn't wearing any underwear.
"I see," Devon said with a smile. He removed his own clothes and wrapped
a towel around his waste, following Lance lead.
"After you sir," Lance said as he held the door open for Devon.
"Thank you," Devon replied as he stepped inside. It was about 20 degrees
hotter inside the room than outside, so far. Devon watched as Lance locked
the door and grinned.
"Now, I think this workout would be much more fun." He took the ladel
out of the bucket of water and tossed it onto the heater, watching as the
steam slowly rose.
Lance moved quickly to Devon and sat next to him on the wooden bench of
the sauna. He stared deep into Devon's eyes before moving his lips to his
neck. He sucked gently on part of his flesh, letting his tongue run up and
down. Devon moved his head back and wrapped his arms around Lance's neck as
a sigh escaped his lips. Lance moved his lips up to Devon's chin and then
his cheek, finally settling on his ear. Devon moved his hand to Lance's back
and felt the steam rise higher in the room, making it difficult for him to
see much. He felt Lance's tongue lick the outside of his lips and opened his
mouth.
Lance pulled Devon to his feet as the kissed, unwrapping the towels from
around their bodies. He pressed the length of his body against Devon and
groaned as he began to move his hips from side to side. Devon breathed
harder as they continued to kiss. The steam from the sauna made it difficult
to breath, but they both held out as long as they could, finally separating
and breathing hard.
"I love you so much Devon," Lance said, almost sadly.
"I love you too," Devon replied, trying to read into Lance's expression.
He noticed the sadness in Lance's eyes and brought his finger to Lance's
chin, bringing his head up. "Are you ok?"
"Yea, I'm fine," Lance said. "It's just...I don't want to lose you."
"Lance, you're not going to lose me," Devon said. He sat down on the
bench and pulled Lance down on so that he was sitting on his lap. "Baby, I'm
in this for the long run. Seeing Nick and Justin together and Brian and JC
together...I mean, we're as close to each other as they are."
Lance nodded, bringing his head to Devon's shoulder. Devon gently
stroked Lance's hair. "I love you so much Lance. You're the first person
I've ever cared about so much. I'd give up anything for you. You know
that?" He felt Lance nod against his shoulder and sigh. "Then I don't ever
want to see you frown again. OK?"
"Ok," Lance said after a moment. He wrapped his arms tighter around
Devon and sighed. "I love you," he said a little sleepily.
"I love you too," Devon replied. But Lance was already asleep. He
lifted Lance's upper body slightly so that he could get a good look at him.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered. Lance cooed slightly in his sleep as
Devon laughed lightly. "Well, let's get you up to bed." He wrapped the
towel back around his waste, and around Lance's as well, which proved
slightly more difficult. He then lifted him gently into his arms, careful
not to wake him, and carried him out of the sauna.
*****
Nick and Justin slowly walked into the restaurant, being led by the
hostess to a secluded table in the back. Nick looked at the two people
sitting there and smiled slightly. "Hi mom. Dad." He sat down across from
his father and watched as Justin took the seat next to him.
"Hello, my name is Grace and I'll," she stopped when she noticed who she
was serving. She stared for a millisecond before regaining her composure.
"I'll, um...be your...you know...um. Here are your menus, bye." She spit out
the last few words quickly and walked away.
"I don't think we should go out in public with you guys anymore," Robert
said with a smile. "Nothing good can come of it."
"Hey, it's not our fault," Justin replied with a smile. Nick looked
over, glad to see that Justin was getting more comfortable around his family
parents.
"Maybe she flipped out when she saw it the great Jane and Robert Carter,"
Nick suggested. "Ever think of that? She might just see us as two bratty
kids."
"Right," Robert said with a smirk. He smiled over at his wife and kicked
her lightly under the table.
"Well," she said as she bent down to rub her leg. "I guess you're
wondering why we asked you to have lunch wtih us."
"A little," Nick confessed.
"It's just that, after how we-" Robert cleared his throat ater his
wife's comment. "After how I took the news you gave us yesterday, we just
felt that we wanted to take the two of you out to try to make up for it. And
for me to explain myself."
"Are you ready to order, would you like to hear our specials, could I get
you folks something to drink," Grace said as she returned, appearing more
paniced than she had before. "Oh God, I sound like an idiot," she said, not
realizing she had spoken out loud.
"Um, I guess we can order now," Nick said. He looked at his parents and
nodded. "I'm gonna have a turkey club, no tomato, and a chocolate shake."
"Same here," Justin said. "With fries," he added with a flirty smile.
Nick laughed lightly and elbowed him.
"I think I'll have a BLT," Robert said. "And a diet coke."
"Same for me please," Jane said. She collected the menus from the men at
the table and smiled at the girl. "I'm sure these two will give you an
autograph if you want," she suggested. The girl nodded quickly and handed
her pad over to Justin, who signed happily and passed it to Nick he signed as
well. He handed it back to her as she thanked them...several times. Finally
she composed herself enough to walk away and bring their order to the kitchen.
"OK, yea so from now on it's McDonald's drive through," Nick laughed.
"They got great pies there," Justin said with a smile.
"OK, well, back to what I was saying," Jane said, clearing her throat.
"I want to apologize for how I reacted last night. I was wrong to jump down
your throats like that, and I can see now that it was wrong. And don't think
for one moment I was happy that it was your father who made me come to my
senses." She looked over at Robert and smiled.
"It's alright mom," Nick said as he took his mother's hand on top of the
table. "Honestly, you've been pretty great with this whole thing. Both of
you," he said, looking towards his father as well.
"But we still want to make it up to you," Jane said. "So, your father
and I were wondering if...well, you would let us make the down payment on
your house."
"What," Nick asked quickly. He looked over at Justin, a bit shocked.
"We couldn't let you do that," Justin said, surprised. "We don't even
know what house yet."
"It's just that, we want to know we helped in some way," Jane said. "I
think that's one of the things that's been so hard for me, and for your
mother Justin. We don't want to think about letting our babies grow up.
Because no matter how old you get, you're always going to be our little
boys." She looked at Justin and smiled. "Even if the both of you are giants
compared to us. So, I called your mom before Justin. And I told her our
idea and she thought it was wonderful and wants in on it too. If you boys
will let us that is," Jane said hopefully. Nick and Justin looked at each
other.
"Mom, money is no problem for us," Nick said. "Really, you guys don't
have to do this."
"But we want to do this. Believe me, we don't feel obligated too. We
know that you guys can more than afford anything you want. We just want to
be apart of things somehow." She looked up at Justin hopefully. "So will
you let us?"
Nick and Justin exchanged a couple more glances before they both started
to smile. "I guess that would be wonderful then," Nick said, looking at his
parents. Jane smiled happily and patted her husband on the arm.
"Well good," Robert said. "Now that that's settled, let me take another
look at that ring Justin."
Justin blushed and held out his hand for Robert to see. "It's very
nice," he said to both of them. "Have you told the other guys yet?"
"Yea we told them last night," Justin said, remembering AJ's outburst.
"How did they take it," Jane asked, watching as Grace began to walk
towards them with a tray.
"Um, mixed reactions. Overall, everyone was very happy," Nick said.
"You should have your little brother as ring man," Jane said to Justin,
who laughed lightly. "I met him at the hospital that time. He was so cute,"
she said adoringly.
"Well, we still have some time to think about things like that," Nick
laughed.
"I know, I know," Jane replied, putting her hands up. Grace placed their
plates down in front of each of them, nervously looking between Justin and
Nick. then with a sigh, she walked away quickly.
"Let's eat fast," Robert said with a laugh.
*****
Lance stepped out of the shower and grabbed the nearest towel he saw,
feeling how damp it was but not caring. He wiped himself off quickly and
pulled his robe around him, walking out into the living room where he found
Devon sitting in front of the television, strecthing.
"Do you ever stop," Lance asked with a smile.
"Nope," Devon replied. He sat with both of his legs extended in front of
him, bringing his head down til it rested comfortably on his knees.
"Wow," Lance said. He walked over to the couch and lay down on it,
watching as Devon continued. "I think I'd permanently damage something if I
ever tried something like that."
"Nah, you just work to it, little by little. You can touch your toes at
least."
"Barely," Lance said with a smirk. "I wish I could dance like you."
"And I wish I could sing like you," Devon said with a smile. "Be happy
with what you can do," he said with a smile as he stood up. He was just
about to kiss Lance when the phone rang.
"Why don't we let it ring," Lance said with a grin.
"Come on," Devon said. Lance groaned and leaned back.
"Hello," he said. "Fatima! Hey...What? Yea, Devon's right here. Are
you ok?...Ok, Ok, calm down, here he is." He handed the phone off to Devon
and shrugged his shoulders.
"Fatima, what's wrong," Devon asked as soon as the phone was in his
hands. "Fatima, just spit it out...tell me already," Devon laughed. "What
do you mean you're sorry? Fatima, what happened?" Lance watched Devon
carefully, trying to gather what he could of the conversation. "That can't
be," Devon said angrily. "Fatima, that's impossible. Where did you hear
that?" He was yelling now. Lance moved closer, wanting to hug him, but
afraid of what would happen. "How did you find out," Devon asked as tears
began to enter his eyes. "Who fucking told you," he yelled as he burst into
hysterics. Lance was immedaitely next to him, hugging him tight. Devon
dropped the phone to the floor as Lance heard Fatima's voice yelling to him
on the other line.
"Baby, what is it," Lance asked quickly. "Devon, honey." Lance pulled
Devon close to him, allowing him to cry into his shoulder. He picked up the
phone and quieted Fatima. "Fatima, it's Lance again. What just happened?"
"Lance, Devon's mother died," she said quietly.
"Oh my God," Lance said, feeling his voice catch in his throat. "How?"
"Well, she was found at the bottom of the stairs. Her husband said she
fell, but...oh god Lance, she had bruises all over and the neighbors said
they had heard fighting like five minutes before the police got the call."
"Oh my god," Lance said as tears came to his own eyes. He looked down at
Devon and tried to gather himself together, but found it impossible. "How
did you find out?"
"Devon's aunt called me. She didn't know where to reach him, so she
tried with me and asked me to tell him. She...she didn't have the heart to."
Lance could tell that Fatima was crying on the other end.
"Thanks for calling," Lance said slowly. "I'll give you a call later."
With that he hung up the phone and wrapped both arms around Devon, trying to
calm him down. "Just cry it out," he whispered, feeling Devon shake
violently in his arms.
"He killed her," he sobbed. "He fucking killed her. I knew he would. I
knew he was going to at some point." He shook so hard Lance was afraid. His
own tears fell from his cheeks, first because of the woman he had just met
recently who was now dead and secondly because of Devon's condition.
"Baby, they don't know that," Lance said.
"I know it," Devon screamed, looking angrily at Lance before burying his
head back into his shoulder. Sobs racked his body as he cried. Then without
warning he jumped up and started walking around violently. "I shouldn't have
let this happen. Lance, I knew he was going to do it! He hit her! A lot!
He always has. Why didn't I fucking do anything? Why did I just run away?
Why did I let her tell me to go?" He fell to his knees as he continued to
question everything.
Lance watched from the couch. 'How could everything come crashing down
in such little time,' he thought to himself. Devon was the strong one...the
confident one. Lance watched as he continued to cry on the floor, his face
buried in the rug as he pounded one fist.
"Devon, please," Lance said, walking over to Devon and holding him
tightly. "Just...oh god Devon," Lance said. He held onto Devon as tightly
as he could, crying loudly with him.
"Get off of me," Devon said after a minute.
"What," Lance asked quickly.
"Let go," Devon said, shrugging Lance off. "I...uh...I need to get out
of here."
"Where do you want to go," Lance asked.
"I don't know." He grabbed his sneakers and began to walk towards the
door. "I just...I need to be by myself," he said as he tried to keep the
tears from rolling down his cheeks.
"Devon, please," Lance begged as he jumped up as well. "Just wait a
second. Let me come with you."
"No," Devon said harshly. "I...I need to be alone." He took one more look
at Lance and tried to control himself. "I gotta go." He walked out the door
quickly, shutting it tight behind him.
Lance remained on the floor for a minute, letting the tears stream down
his face. "I love you," he whispered before he broke down into violent sobs.
*****
Nick and Justin pulled into the driveway of Justin's house, still
discussing what had gone on at lunch. "I still can't believe they're doing
that," Justin said, laughing slightly.
"Well, I think all in all they took it a little better than we had
expected," Nick said. "I mean, now they're helping us pay for our house.
Next thing you know, they'll be vulonteering to carry a baby for us."
"That would be something," Justin said, a smile on his face as he looked
out the window. He stared ahead for a minute and then nudged Nick as he
drove. "Um, AJ's sitting on the porch," Justin said, a bit surprised.
Nick looked over, as if to confirm what Justin had just told him. He
shook his head as he approached the house. "I don't want to deal with this
right now," Nick groaned as he drove all the way up the driveway. He opened
his door and stared down at the floor as both he and Justin approached.
"I think we need to talk," AJ said, standing.
"I think you said more than enough last night," Nick said quickly,
walking towards the door. He waited for a moment for Justin to unlock the
door before entering. AJ and Justin both followed. "AJ, we have nothing to
talk about right now," Nick said as he walked into the kitchen.
"Nick, will you please-" AJ watched Nick walk away. "Goddamn it, why is
he so fucking thick-headed!"
"Well, you didn't get him much reason not to be," Justin said as he sat
down on the couch. "I mean, you made your feelings towards us pretty clear
last night."
"Then why didn't you storm off with him," AJ asked, as he took a seat on
the couch.
"I dunno," Justin said with a shrug. "Thought I'd hear you out before I
storm off."
"Well, I guess I came here to apologize," AJ said quietly. "The way I
handled everything was pretty fucked up I guess. I didn't mean to do things
like that! It just scared me. I mean, Nick is an important part of the
Backstreet Boys. And as much as it sucks, if it got out that he was gay, a
lot of people would stop buying our records I'm sure. That scares me Justin.
I don't know how to do anything but music. I've never had to. So when you
guys say you're getting married...I guess my mind went to a few places.
First, that Nick was choosing you over the group and that the Backstreet Boys
would be splitting up. Secondly, that even if they didn't break up, you and
he would eventually want to come out, and that in the end would mean the end
of the Backstreet Boys. Don't you see how this could scare me?"
"Yea, I guess," Justin conceded. "But AJ, Nick loves what he does as
much as I do. Neither of us want to leave the groups. I love being in
N'Sync as much as he loves being a Backstreet Boy. We wouldn't do anything
to jeopardize anyone's careers. It's just that I don't see how us getting
married would affect that and neither does he. It's just another step in our
relationship AJ."
"Justin, I know," AJ said. "I blew up. I shouldn't have. It's just not
something that I can't accept as easily as the other guys."
"AJ, I don't know how to reassure you. I plan on staying with the guys
for as long as people buy our albums. Nick feels the same way. Us being
together...makes us stronger. It makes us better. Us getting married won't
be bad for the groups, it'll be good for them."
"It's just something I just have to get used to," AJ said. "I mean, I
can't stop you. I want you guys to be happy..."
"Thank you," Justin said, smiling lightly. "I'll just take that as your
blessing then."
AJ laughed. "Take it however you want," he replied. "Talk to Nick," he
added, more seriously.
"I will," Justin said, standing up. "But you can apologize to him a
bunch of times later."
"I know I'll have to," AJ said. "God, what if he makes me kiss his feet?"
"Grin and bare it baby," Justin laughed. "Grin and bare it." He hugged
AJ at the door and smiled warmly. "Call him later. I'll talk to him."
"Thanks J," AJ said. He smiled at the younger man and walked towards his
car.
"Is he gone," Nick asked as he stepped out of the kitchen, carrying a
glass of soda with him.
"Yep. But Nick, we need to talk," Justin said with a grin.
*****
Night fell quickly across the sky, the temperature dropping quickly. The
streets were nearly deserted as the clock continued to tick, counting down
the seconds, minutes and hours. There was no traffic on the road, and the
only lights came from either street lights, or the neon signs on the bars.
Lance sat on the couch, his legs hugged tight to his body. He was still
wearing the robe he had earlier in the day. In fact, he had barely moved at
all since Devon had left. He looked down at the clock next to him and shook
slightly. 2 am. "Where the hell are you," he asked himself quietly. He
leaned his head back against the arm of the couch and let his mind wander.
'How could his mom be dead,' he though to himself, remembering his dinner
with Devon's family just a short time ago. Devon had mentioned his father
beating his mother, but would he actually have killed her. Was he arrested
for it, or even questioned, or was his story just accepted?
The door to the apartment was slowly opened. Lance instantly popped up
on the couch and watched as the light to the bathroom slowly flicked on.
"Devon," he called as he stood up. There was no answer. Lance stood up
slowly and walked towards the light. "Honey, is that you?"
Devon stood hunched over the sink, throwing water on his face. "I've
never been drunk before," he said weakly. "I've never had more than two
drinks in my life."
"How many have you had," Lance asked.
Devon placed his hands under the sink, cupping them to catch the water
and then throwing it on his face. "I don't remember," he said as he stood.
He turned towards Lance who was holding a towel. "And I don't want to talk
about it."
"Please Devon," Lance pleaded. "Just talk to me, ok? We have to get in
touch with your family. See about the funeral, the wake."
"I don't want to see my family right now," Devon said harshly. "I don't
want to see anyone right now." He looked at Lance squarely. "Anyone."
"Including me," Lance asked with a light whimper.
"I'm going to bed," Devon said with a sigh.
"Devon, I can't do this," Lance called after him.
"I'm not asking you to do anything," Devon said, "except leave me alone."
"I can't just stand here and watch you suffer and not care," Lance
replied, tears streaming down his face. "I love you too much."
"Don't say that," Devon said angrily as he appraoched Lance. "Don't
fucking say that."
"But I do love you," Lance said. Devon grabbed his arm angrily. Lance
gasped slightly, feeling the pain. "And you said you loved me."
"You can't love me Lance," Devon said, anger in his voice even as his
eyes teared over. "You can't." His eyes began to water as he let go,
leaving Lance clutching his arm tightly.
"Why can't I love you Devon," he asked, putting his arms around his
shoulders and trying to sooth him.
"Because if you do, you're going to die," Devon yelled. He shook Lance
off angrily. "Just...just go away," he screamed. He looked at Lance a
moment before running into the bedroom and slamming the door.
Lance stood where he was, looking at where Devon had just been standing.
His hands moved quickly to his face, wiping away whatever tears had formed.
He walked over to the corner of the room where his clothes from earlier lay,
throwing them on quickly. One more look at the bedroom and he was out the
door.
*****
Justin lay snuggled tight against Nick's arm, clutching it tightly as a
child would his favorite possession. A smile was spread broadly across his
face as he dreamed. Nick's other arm was tossed haphazardly across Justin's
midsection. His breathing was slow and steady, holding his fiance close to
his body.
This peaceful slumber was soon disturbed, however, by the frantic ringing
of the doorbell. Nick was the first to move, his eyes opening quickly. He
looked over and saw that Justin was alright, settling back down against the
pillow.
Until the doorbell rang again. This time Justin groaned, pulling Nick
tighter to him. Nick eyes opened again, this time he attempted to his up in
bed. He sleepily scratched his head and looked down at Justin still holding
onto his arm.
"Baby, get up," Nick said, shaking Justin lightly.
"Mmmppphh," Justin grumbled, rolling over onto his side and clutching his
pillow.
"Alright, I guess I'll go get it by myself," Nick said with a smirk.
Justin groaned again and sat up. "No, it's my house. I should get up."
The doorbell rang a few more times.
"Well someone has to," Nick said, getting out of the bed and adjusting
his boxers quickly. Justin quickly followed suit, holding onto Nick's hand
as they walked. As soon as they stepped out into the hallway, they ran into
Lynn.
"Who the hell would be ringing the bell at this time of night," she asked
as she followed the boys down the stairs.
Nick shrugged and headed towards the door, watching as Justin punched
some numbers into the alarm pad. That done, he opened the door and gasped.
Lance stood on the other side, his eyes tear stained and puffy. His hair
was a mess and he looked like he had gotten no rest in ages. He looked at no
one, but merely stood there with tears coming rolling down his cheeks.
"What happened," Justin asked, quickly ushering Lance towards the couch.
"Can I get you some tea," Lynn asked, as soon as she saw Lance's
condition. He shook his head and tried to smile for her, failing miserably.
"Mommy, what happened," Jonathan asked sleepily from the foot of the
stairs.
"Jonathan go back to bed," Lynn commanded.
"But, what's going on," he asked, rubbing his eyes with the back of his
hand.
Lynn looked over at Nick who nodded. "Come on buddy, I'm gonna tuck you
back in," he said as he scooped up the younger child.
"I'm not tired," he said as he yawned. He was asleep before they reached
the top of the stairs.
"Mom, you think you could..." Justin asked, his eyes looking over to the
stairs.
"Of course," Lynn replied, quickly. "I'll leave you boys alone." She
threw another look at Lance before walking up the stairs.
"Now Lance, look at me," Justin said, straightening his friend out.
"Come on. Now, tell me what's wrong."
Lance tried to speak, but found himself crying again, burying his head
into Justin's lap. Justin looked up at the stairs, seeing Nick coming back
down. He shook his head and then went to stroke Lance's hair.
"It's over," Lance whispered.
"What's over Scoop," Justin asked, his hand continuously working it's way
through his hair.
"Devon and me," he said. "I think we just broke up."
"Lance, come on. That's impossible," Nick said, sitting behind Lance on
the couch. "Just tell us what happened and we'll see if we can sort it out."
Lance took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. "Devon's mom died," he said
slowly. Nick muttered 'Oh my God' and looked down to the floor.
"How's he taking it," Justin asked.
"Not good," Lance said. "He thinks his dad may have killed her," he
added in a whisper.
"Wait a second, why would he think that?" Nick threw a troubled look
over at Justin, meeting eyes. Lance sniffled again, Nick starting to rub his
back.
"Apparently Devon's dad was abusive to her...a lot. Especially when
Devon was growing up. And when they found her body...he said she had fallen
down the stairs. But the way the bruises were...it wasn't right. And the
neighbors had heard fighting not long before the police were called."
"Shit," Justin muttered. "No wonder Devon's not taking it well."
"He ran out of the house when he heard. I tried to...do something, but I
think I only made him worse." He stopped for a minute to breath and try to
keep his tears in check. "When he got back in tonight he was drunk. Bad."
"Devon's not a drinker though," Nick said. "I think I've seen him take
one drink all the time I've known him."
"Yea, well tonight he had a lot. He told me...he..." Lance started to
cry again, tears slowly brimming his eyes before falling down his pale
cheeks. "He said that I couldn't love him. And I should just leave.
And...I told him I couldn't watch him and not care...and then he said...he
said...we shouldn't be together then." Lance fell back into hysterics,
throwing himself against Justin's shoulder. Justin held him tightly, rubbing
his back slowly up and down as Nick scooted closer, trying to provide comfort
by being close.
"Lance, Devon had a horrible shock today. It doesn't mean he doesn't
love you...or doesn't want to be with you. It means that he's confused right
now. By morning, when he's sobered up, he'll be thinking more clearly. He
does need you Lance." Nick placed his hand on Lance's shoulder and gave it a
squeeze.
"I don't think it's going to be that easy," Lance said. "You don't know
how close he was to his mom. Even though they didn't see each other
often...he loved her so much."
"Lance, he loves you too," Justin said. "And he's going to need you to
help him through this. Let him be tonight. Tomorrow morning, you go back
over there and you try to talk to him."
"Do you think he didn't mean what he said," Lance asked.
"I know he didn't," Justin said, smiling lightly. "You're gonna sleep
here tonight." He looked over at Nick who nodded. "Come on, my bed's really
big. We can have a threesome."
"Justin," Nick said. "Probably not the best time for jokes," he
whispered with a slight smile.
"I know, I know," Justin said. "Lance's everything's gonna be alright in
the morning."
"Alright," Lance said...still unsure. The three men made their way
upstairs, climbing into Justin's bed. Nick lay on one side, with Justin in
the middle and Lance on the other, clutching a pillow tightly.
"What if they really do break up," Nick whispered to Justin as soon as he
was sure Lance was asleep.
"I don't know," Justin whispered, turning his head to look at Lance. "I
really don't."
*****
Hope you enjoyed it. This one was definitely out early, and the next one
might be as well. Got lots of ideas floating through my head. Nice feeling.
=) Anyway, let me know what you thought. Drop me a line at
BrwyMilo@aol.com. Love email. OK, um...talk to you later.
Mike