Why Men Misinterpret Flirtation

Trending News: Is She Flirting With You? (No, No She's Not)

Why Is This Important?

Because this might explain why men always seem to be one step behind when it comes to the language of love.

Long Story Short

A new study has examined why men often misinterpret a woman's sexual intentions, and found that it's probably based on evolution.

Long Story

While flirting is often an indicator of sexual interest, it can also just be an expression of someone's personality and especially for a women, it can often be a way of establishing a close but strictly friendly relationship with male counterparts, whether in a personal or professional context.

There is a difference between sexual and friendly flirting — a difference men don't seem to grasp, according to a recent study published in Evolutionary Psychology by Norwegian psychiatrist Mons Bendixen.

Bendixen aimed to explore the sexual misperceptions that occur between men and women and why men are more likely than women to believe that a someone is romantically interested in them if they are being flirted with.

The study developed out of the basic principles of nature versus nurture, essentially asking whether we're influenced more by our biological impulses or crafted by society. Within a psychological framework, there are two theories that might explain the communication breakdown between men and women when it comes to flirting.

The first, "error-management theory," suggests that the reason men might often misunderstand women comes down to how men and women have evolved over time. The theory suggests that men have evolved to overperceive sexual interest so they won’t miss out on any opportunities to reproduce. Women, on the other hand, have evolved to underperceive sexual interest, as sex with the wrong man means running the risk of pregnancy and child-rearing without the help of a mate.

The other theory, "social roles theory," posits that our behaviour is shaped less by evolution and more by social norms and expectations. In the context of this theory, places that lack gender-equality should expect a greater difference between how men and women interpret flirting, whereas places with greater gender-equality should expect less of a disparity.

In exploring these two theories, Bendixen replicated a 2003 study (that was based in the US) about sexual misperception, but based his study in Norway — a country which is known for its high ranking when it comes to gender-equality. (At the time of the study, Norway was ranked inside the top five nations for gender-equality, whereas the US was ranked 42nd.)

Bendixen asked 308 heterosexual university students between the ages of 18 and 30 the same questions that were asked in the 2003 US study and the results ruled overwhelmingly in favour of the error-management theory: 88% of women reported having at least one incident where their friendly flirting was mistaken as a sexual advance, and on average it had happened about 3.5 times in the last year alone.

Men also reported having their sexual intentions misinterpreted, but the incidence was much lower (70.6%).

For the sake of comparison, the original US study yielded very similar results, with 90% of women and 70% of men reporting that they'd had their sexual intentions misinterpreted in the past year.

Bendixen confirmed his results to NYMag: “Despite America and Norway’s cultural differences, the findings suggest that men and women make systematic errors in their attempt to read each other’s minds in dating and mating contexts. These errors follow the predictions of error-management theory.”

Own The Conversation

Ask The Big Question: This is great. What other social situations that I mess up can I blame on evolution?

Disrupt Your Feed: Men can't win. What about all those times we're just trying to be friendly and we get labelled 'creepers'?

Drop This Fact: According to the Social Issues Research Centre (SIRC), flirting is very rarely about what we say. 55% of people flirt through body language, 38% through tone and speed of voice, and only 7% through what they actually say.