with focus on parenting, sex and lifestyle… and featuring guest posts from rethinkers around the world

God Loves Me Sometimes

by Sarah on February 14, 2012

photo by Sarah E. Parent

Barb:
I have a sweet little friend in my life that lives nearby. She is just 7 years old and likes my dog and me and we take walks together. She is always happy and excited and she talks constantly. On a recent mile walk together she told me she had two birthdays. TWO birthdays!? I said. Yeah, I am 7 years old and 2 God-years old, she said. What is a God-year? I asked. I accepted God into my life 2 years ago so that is when I was born to God, she said. You mean you were not a real person to God until then? I asked. No! I was dead to God until I told him I loved him and accepted him in my life, she said.

I was pretty much speechless at that point and have been pondering the long term ramifications of such important, albeit conditional, love. I’ve not heard of this God-year business before, and have no knowledge of whether this is a new tradition or old, idiosyncratic to just one Christian sect or many. As long as my little friend believes that she was not worthy of personhood before she proclaimed her love and acceptance of God however, I wonder if, as time goes by, she will ever be able to experience the joy and freedom of listening to her own inner guidance system, following her heartfelt intuition, experimenting with the thoughts, ideas and actions that take her to that deep place within that says ‘I know who I am.’ Will she
spend her life being rewarded, prodded, conditioned or punished to conform to the guidelines of others, including God, who believe they know more than she does about how to think, spend her time, act morally, love and be a good person in this world?

In my world these discoveries come naturally and exuberantly with freedom.
Freedom to think, explore, experiment, make decisions, act and love according to the ever changing desires, needs, new ideas that are constantly surfacing. This little girl right now is blissfully happy, from what I can see, and it’s due to a system of rewards and punishments that works. She understands it and has mastered it. Right now it feels good, real good. I wonder how long it will last?

Sarah:
they’re told the salvation of their soul depends not only on this decision but each subsequent. I had a parent proudly say to me not long ago, “The kids can argue with us (the parents) but they can’t argue with God!” Their parenting style is to threaten their children with the wrath of God in order to maintain ‘good’ behavior and smooth household flow. Believe it or not, I’m not opposed to faith. What I am opposed to is using it as a means of control. Is there religion without control? There’s something to think about.

I am thoroughly grateful for the lack of religion in my household growing up and the ongoing, interesting, and thoughtful dialogues about faith and religious variety. There were many factors that contributed to my decision making process but fear for my soul was not one of them. Teen pregnancy, use of methamphetamine and other drugs, and various illegal activities were common amongst my childhood friends raised in strictly religious upbringings. I don’t think it’s coincidence that the preacher and the police officer tend to have the most socially deviant children. When we’re raised to abide by an external moral compass, we never get the chance to explore the one that comes built in. I happen to firmly believe that it functions well in an environment of love, support, and freedom.

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I can see how this experience of realising God can be a good thing. If this girl is taught that she has God within her, she will become immensely powerful, wise and lovely. In one sense, until she realised that she had God “in her heart” she was dead to God — ignorant of the divine spark that exists within us all.

I do not believe children are “ignorant” of their divine spark. They may not have words for it, because it is an “isness”, but they live within it much more readily than adults do.

“God’s law” is love, it is fundamental, intrinsic. My children and I (and everyone) are loved *unconditionally* by God. Anything that perceptually limits this by putting it on a timeline, or any other “condition”, is false. These falsehoods do eventually trip us up in life, they limit our ability to personally embrace and enjoy love and life fully.

Yes, support the children in knowing there is God within them, and support them in knowing God is there *always* and *unconditionally*.

I grew up being afraid of god and frequently had night terrors because of that fear. Now in my 30th, I am still looking for the kind loving god, which I been searching all my life. I feel happy for this little girl as she already found him! as for me: some days are better than the others…one thing I made sure: i didn’t instill the fear into my children.

I grew up in a very liberal Christian church. I now don’t consider myself a Christian and I don’t believe in a God figure, either. I used to think of “God” as an inner sense of love. I don’t believe that any more, either. I do sense that there is something greater than myself. The closest that I can come to it is a sense of unity with all that is, was and will be. It is not magic or divine (although it can feel like it.) I think it is science that we simply haven’t discovered. But it being “real” doesn’t make it any less awe-some.

I personally don’t have a problem with anyone’s beliefs. S/he can believe whatever. I only have issue with behavior. My son has explained to me that at school (when he went to school), it was the Christian kids who are mean about his belief structure. (He calls himself agnostic.) On the other hand, he says that his friends who are Buddhist are very nice about it.

I also find a lot of Christians to be judgmental and intolerant of others (which makes total sense if their God is also that way.) On the other hand, I do know some people who are deeply devoted to their Christian faith and they are some of the most loving people I know. (Of course, I have a feeling that their version of God is a loving god.)

I don’t necessarily think that growing up in a more *religious* household makes one rigid or guilty for life. Often their parents beliefs act as a virtual diving board, off of which they jump into an exploration of their own heart.

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about me

I am Barb Lundgren, a mother of 33 years and wife/partner of 47 years. I am truly, madly and deeply head over heels in love with my life of rethinking everything. Every day is a new day and I am always observing, researching, thinking, rethinking and changing.

I offer coaching and counseling on peaceful parenting, unschooling, creating a self-directed life at any age, saving your marriage, living mindfully, loving and forgiving, and entrepreneuring on your terms. Email me if you'd like some help.

Oh, and a disclaimer is in order too: I write my blog as a result of wisdom gained from over 45+ years of thinking consciously, upgrading often and keeping my eyes and ears open to what I see working and not working all around me.

24 years ago I created the Rethinking Education conference, which quickly morphed into the Rethinking Everything conference, supporting children in self-designing, parents in peaceful and unconditional relationships with themselves and their families, entrepreneuring, alternative wellness modalities, powerful and sustainable lifestyle choices. The conference lives on although I am no longer running it - see rethinking everything.com to follow the current year's event.

I also published the Rethinking Everything magazines and you can read them in their entirety here: rethinkingeverythingmagazine.com