"I’m about as privileged as you can get. I’m a white,
male, heterosexual front man of a rock band. So the
weight I feel every day is, What are you doing with
that?"

-Dan
Reynolds, Imagine Dragons frontman

"I affirm that I am a friend and ally of the LGBTQ
community and that I will use my voice to take a stand."

-GLAAD
Allies Program

An LGBTQ ally is a heterosexual or cisgender (straight
person) who believes in, supports, and advocates for
LGBTQ rights. In relation to issues of oppression, an
ally is defined as a person who is a member of the
"dominant" or "majority" group who challenges inequality
and prejudice and works to end oppression in his or her
personal and professional life through support of, and
as an advocate with and for, the oppressed population.
An LGBTQ ally is a person, often straight, who is
accepting and supportive of the LGBTQ community.

You have the opportunity to be an ally and a friend at
home, school, church, work, and in your community. A
straight ally can merely be someone who is supportive
and accepts the LGBTQ person, or a straight ally can be
someone who personally advocates for equal rights and
fair treatment.

Allies are some of the most effective and powerful
voices of the LGBTQ movement. Not only do allies help
people in the coming-out process, they also help others
understand the importance of equality, fairness,
tolerance and mutual respect. They raise awareness and
build bridges by actively, publicly, and courageously
practicing acceptance of and support for LGBTQ people
and speaking out in their behalf.

There are stages to becoming an effective LGBTQ ally or
advocate. Some people go through an evolutionary process of
first becoming more aware and informed of LGBTQ issues
and concerns and then discovering and more fully recognizing the
needs of LGBTQ people. At first they might be
hesitant to respond and get involved, but then they
gradually become more sensitive to the oppression that
exists for LGBTQ people. They eventually get to
the point where they are more intentional and assertive
in their involvement.

Interfering/Opposing
- This stage describes individuals who are not yet
allies. It includes direct and deliberate
actions and activities that are oppressive to LGBTQ
people. These actions include laughing at or telling
jokes that put down LGBTQ people, making fun of LGBTQ
people, and engaging in verbal or physical harassment of
LGBTQ people and those who do not conform to traditional
sex-role behavior. It also includes opposing pro-LGBTQ
activities, programs, and legislation and supporting
anti-LGBTQ activities, programs, and legislation.

Denying/Ignoring - This stage includes
inaction that perpetuates LGBTQ oppression coupled with
an unwillingness or inability to understand the effects
of homophobic and heterosexist actions. At this point
the individual is still not an ally. This stage is
characterized by a “business as usual” attitude. Though
responses in this stage are not actively and directly
homophobic or heterosexist, the passive acceptance of
these actions by others serves to support a system of
oppression.

Recognizing/Hesitating - This stage is
characterized by a recognition of homophobic or
heterosexist actions and the harmful effects of these
actions. However, this recognition does not result in
any effort to address the homophobic or heterosexist
situation. At this point, the individual has still not
made a decision to be an active ally. Taking action is prevented by homophobia,
insensitivity, or a lack of knowledge about specific
actions to take. This stage of response is accompanied
by discomfort due to the lack of congruence between
recognizing homophobia or heterosexism yet failing to
act on this recognition. An example of this stage of
response is a person hearing a friend tell a homophobic
joke, recognizing that is homophobic, not laughing at
the joke, but saying nothing to the friend about the
joke.

Acknowledging/Asserting - This stage includes
not only recognizing homophobic and heterosexist
actions, but also taking action to stop them. At this
point, an individual begins to behave as an ally. Though the
response goes no further than stopping, this stage is
often an important transition from passively accepting
homophobic or heterosexist actions to actively choosing
to address homophobic and heterosexist actions. In this
stage a person hearing a homophobic joke would confront
the joke teller. In this stage a person might realize
that he or she is avoiding an activity for fear that
others might think he or she is lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender, or queer.

Education/Awareness - This stage
includes taking action to learn more about LGBTQ people,
LGBTQ issues and concerns, and heterosexism and
homophobia. These actions can include reading books
attending workshops, talking to others, joining
organizations, attending LGBTQ events, or any other
actions that can increase awareness and knowledge. This
stage, in which the individual regards him or herself as
an ally, is also a prerequisite to becoming more
comfortable and confident for further involvement as a
true ally.

Questioning/Dialoguing - This stage is an
attempt to begin educating others about homophobia and
heterosexism. In this stage, the individual identifies
him or herself as an ally and others recognize the
individual as an ally. This stage requires more commitment as it
seeks to engage people in dialogue about critical LGBTQ
issues. Through the use of questions and dialogue, this
stage of response attempts to help others increase their
awareness of and knowledge about homophobia and
heterosexism.

Supporting/Encouraging - This stage includes
dedicated actions by the ally that directly confront the homophobic
and heterosexist actions of others. These
actions include supporting, encouraging, and reinforcing
efforts to combat oppressive anti-LGBTQ behavior and
attitudes.

Initiating/Preventing - This stage includes
actions by the ally that actively anticipate and identify homophobic
institutionalized practices or individual actions and
work diligently to change them. Actions in this stage
are assertive and proactive and seek to defend and
protect the rights of LGBTQ people. This stage is
characterized by making changes in curricula,
procedures, policies, and laws.

--Be
supportive, encouraging, and affirming.
--Be willing to talk. Start a conversation about LGBTQ
topics. Engage in discussions about LGBTQ issues and
concerns.

--Be inclusive. Invite LGBTQ friends to hang out with
your friends and family.

--Don't assume that all your friends and co-workers are
straight. Someone close to you could be looking for
support in their coming-out process. Not making
assumptions will give them the space they need.
--Be sensitive and aware of homophobia, heterosexism,
and other forms of oppression.

--Homophobic comments and jokes are harmful. Let your
friends, family and co-workers know that you find them
offensive.
--Confront your own prejudices and homophobia, even if
it is uncomfortable to do so.
--Defend your LGBTQ friends against discrimination.

--Attend
LGBTQ events. Participate in LGBTQ activities.

--Join
LGBTQ organizations.

--Seek to
make changes in curricula, procedures, policies, and
laws.

--Support
LGBTQ equal rights
through legislation and political activism.
--Believe that all people, regardless of sexual
orientation and gender identity, should be treated with
dignity and respect.

“I always tell other parents that you’ll never find more
giving children than gays and lesbians. And that I have
the most devoted, loving, helpful, useful children in
the world because I support my kids and they support me.
So, please, cherish your lesbian and gay children.”-Frances Goldin

She’s been
a staple of the New York City Pride Parade for more than
30 years. Literary agent Frances Goldin, 92 years old,
was the subject of a moving profile by BuzzFeed
(September 2016), in which the proud mother of two
lesbian daughters shared her story of activism.

“Since the beginning of the parade, I’ve been going and
waving my sign,” Goldin explains. The message, “I adore
my lesbian daughters,” instantly caught the attention of
other parade attendees. “It sort of hit a nerve with
people, particularly those whose parents rejected them.
The response to the sign is always so great — it urges
me to keep going.”

Goldin's daughter Reeni says that her mother simply
“believes in equality and fairness and what’s right. She
really puts her money where her mouth is. She works for
it. That’s her life. That’s just who she is.”

Frances Goldin has been attending the NYC Pride Parade
for over 30 years with the same sign. Her daughters,
Reeni and Sally Goldin currently reside in New Paltz,
New York, and San Francisco, California. Both Sally, 70,
and Reeni, 68, grew up on the Lower East Side of New
York City with their parents and came out as lesbians
soon after New York City’s first Pride Parade in 1970.
The event is held annually on the last Saturday in June
to commemorate the 1969 Stonewall riots.

Goldin is a powerhouse of a woman who, ever since both
of her daughters came out in the early 1970s, has been
an outspoken and compassionate advocate for the lesbian,
gay, bisexual and transgender community ― among other
social and political causes. Goldin’s daughter
Reeni describes her mother as a 1950s radical whose
commitment to social justice has led to her being
arrested almost a dozen times. She’s worked tirelessly
throughout her lifetime fighting for the rights of
marginalized groups.

In 2011, Zach Wahls was an Iowa student whose
impassioned pro-gay marriage speech to Iowa legislators
became the most-watched political clip YouTube after
going viral twice. Zach Wahls went on to serve as
co-chair for "The Outspoken Generation," the Family
Equality Council's national youth advocacy initiative
involving the young adult children of LGBTQ parents.

Wahls is
author of the book, My Two Moms. He says,"A family is a group of people who love each other.
If you're willing to put in the blood, sweat, toil and
tears...if you're willing to make the commitment and
demonstrate the love that it takes to successfully raise
a young, healthy, well-rounded adult...who you are is so
much less important than what you do."

"We are now seeing the first generation of children, who
were lovingly raised by LGBTQ parents, coming into young
adulthood," Family Equality Council Executive Director
Jennifer Chrisler says. "We know, from our conversations
with these young people and from our experience with
them, that they are terrific kids who are thriving and
succeeding in life by any measure you choose to use.
Many of them are now telling us that they are eager to
tell the truth about their families. Who better to
refute the myths and lies of hate groups than our grown
up children?"

"Engaging allies for
LGBTQ inclusion in the workplace is crucial. Creating
and maintaining LGBTQ-inclusive workplaces takes
concerted effort and sincere commitment from both
organizations and individuals. However, research shows
that many lack the awareness, knowledge, and skills
necessary to foster LGBTQ inclusion at work. While
protecting employees from discrimination is essential to
creating LGBTQ-inclusive environments, organizations
must move beyond anti-discrimination policies to
everyday issues facing LGBTQ employees."

-J.
Harper, Catalyst

"My support for
the LGBTQ community started many years ago, way before I
openly identified as an ally in the 90’s. Back then, I
had close friends and family who could not be openly gay
for fear of losing their jobs. Despite many changes, I
feel it is important to continue to advocate for
fairness and equality for all. Personally, I don’t
believe we should have to hide who we are in order to be
treated fairly in our communities, at work and within
our families. I decided to become a visible or out ally
to advocate for members of the LGBTQ community, who may
not be able to do so for themselves. And through our
LGBTQ-focused employee resource group, I am able to
support a positive and inclusive workplace."

As I got
up to leave a meeting
the other week, a co-worker happened to glance at the
small and slightly fading, but still largely visible
sticker I had plastered to my company employee badge.
There, the neatly printed characters “ALLY” reflected
back at me. “What’s that for?” He asked, pausing to stay
behind as other colleagues began to file out of the
conference room. “Nickname?” I glanced down and smiled,
explaining to my colleague that the sticker was actually
a part of a larger campaign with one of our
organization’s employee resource groups to identify
individuals willing to support and stand up for the
rights of other individuals in the workplace (in this
case, members of the LGBTQ community). We had a valuable
conversation discussing why I became an Ally, what it
meant to be an Ally as a non-LGBTQ person, and why it
was important to declare “Allies” in the workplace.

Though I left the
conversation feeling good about sharing new resources
and potentially opening up the opportunity for further
discussion in the future, I couldn’t help but think of
how many Allies in the LGBTQ and other underrepresented
communities are not visible. It can be hard to find an
Ally in your workplace, school, or community. Simply
put, it is not very likely they will be wearing a
sticker.

And while the term “Ally”
is well-known and often discussed within the LGTBQ
community, as a woman and person of color, it is worth
reiterating this important role in other communities as
well. Individuals in all marginalized groups could
benefit from the advocacy, engagement, and support of
Allies. Recognizing and acknowledging our own privileges
enable us to work as Allies towards upheaving biases,
prejudices, and patterns of injustice that continue to
persist within our society. Allies also help to
dismantle stereotypes and provide valuable support to
individuals in oppressed groups who may not have the
power, status, or opportunity to influence institutional
and systemic change. To be an Ally is to be an advocate
and catalyst for social change, particularly in the face
of our society’s “isms” (sexism, racism, ableism,
heterosexism, ageism, classism).

Oftentimes, individuals
may not believe they have the tools, resources, or
influence to be an Ally. They may fear saying or doing
the “wrong thing”, or may feel that they do not have the
knowledge needed to contribute meaningfully to a
conversation. Being an Ally doesn’t have to mean
starting a campaign, kicking off a new initiative, or
organizing an event (although these are all great
efforts). It is often through our smallest day-to-day
interactions (speaking up for a colleague overlooked in
a meeting, listening with empathy, and making an effort
to understand others’ experiences) that can make the
greatest impact, both personally and across our
organizations.

Without wearing a sticker
proclaiming your Ally status, the easiest way to begin
to be an Ally is to listen. When you take the time to
truly hear others and learn from them, people take
notice. Developing as an Ally is a skill that doesn’t
happen overnight. It comes from engaging in open
conversations, asking questions, recognizing your own
biases and blindspots, and stepping out of your comfort
zone.

Most, if not all, of us
have encountered instances in our lives where we have
felt like “the other”. Whether that feeling has come on
a sports team, at work, with our families or friends, or
in another social situation, it has allowed us insight
into how individuals in underrepresented and oppressed
groups feel during their daily lives. As potential
Allies, it is our responsibility to use these
experiences to shape our thoughts, words, and ultimately
actions.

To empower others, we
must first empower ourselves to be brave in our
interactions, conversations, and actions. This bravery,
in turn, translates into a stepping stone for more
inclusive and collaborative environments.

--Don’t make assumptions about a person’s gender
identity/expression based on their sexual orientation,
and vice versa (for example, assuming that a gay man is
interested in fashion solely because he is gay)

--Do treat LGBTQ persons the same as anyone else

--Do understand that an individual’s LGBTQ status is
only a very small part of who they are

Terminology/Word Usage

--Don’t say “lifestyle” or “choice” when you mean
“sexual orientation”

--Don’t say “sexual preference” when you mean “sexual
orientation”

--Don’t say “those people” or “you people”

--Don’t say “homosexual”

--Don’t say “transgendered”

--Don’t say “a transgender”

--Don’t say “tranny,” even if you are a member of the
LGBTQ community

--Don’t refer to an LGBTQ person’s significant other as
“your special friend”

--Don’t use “queer” if you are not sure the person is
comfortable with the term

--Don’t refer to someone as “changing” their gender

--Do follow the LGBTQ’s person’s lead in terms of word
choices

--Do ask people what terms they feel comfortable with

--Do include the entire LGBTQ community in language
(don’t just say gay and lesbian)

Conversation

--Don’t assume that just because you are an ally you
have the right to ask intrusive questions about the
person’s sex life and politics (for example, asking “how
do you have sex”)

--Don’t comment on whether or not an individual looks
gay, lesbian or transgender (LGBTQ individuals are all
different)

--Don’t ask questions about personal medical issues
(“Have you had the surgery?”)

--Don’t ask about genitals (“What’s in your trousers?”)

--Don’t mistakenly “out” a person as LGBTQ (by talking
about them, or assuming that others know)

--Don’t ask others if you think someone else is gay

--Don’t limit conversation with LGBTQ individuals to
LGBTQ issues

--Don’t ask “Which one of you is the guy/girl in the
relationship?”

--Don’t make inappropriate personal inquiries that begin
with “when you were a man/woman…” (for example, “When
you were a man, did people treat you differently?”)

--Don’t refer to a transgender individual as a
“transgender man” or “transgender woman,” thus demeaning
their stature as being female or male

--Do apologize if you make a mistake, and then move on

--Do be supportive, but don’t over-compensate

--Do talk about the same things you would talk about
with anyone else (the weather, sports, hobbies)

--Do respect personal boundaries

--Do use open, inclusive, gender neutral terms if you
are inquiring about whether person has a significant
other

--Do resist tendency to bring up LGBTQ topics
immediately after someone discloses in one way or
another their LGBTQ status or frequently when you are
speaking with LGBTQ folks

--Do listen, and take your cue from the LGBTQ person
regarding what they do and don’t want to share or talk
about

Transgender

--Don’t use transgender as a noun (For example, don't
say: "Sally Johnson is a

Transgender")

--Don’t use "transgendered" (Transgender never needs an
extraneous "ed" at the end)

--Don’t use "transsexual" or "transvestite"

--Don’t speculate about medical procedures transgender
people may or may not choose to undertake as part of
their transition (This is private medical information,
and a transgender identity is not dependent on medical
procedures)

--Don’t imply that someone who comes out as transgender
(regardless of their age) was lying or being deceptive
because he or she chose to keep that information private

--Don’t indulge in superficial critiques of a
transgender person's femininity or masculinity
(Commenting on how well a transgender person conforms to
conventional standards of femininity or masculinity is
reductive and insulting)

--Don’t police people’s bathroom choices

--Do understand that transgender individuals are not
necessarily gay, lesbian or bisexual

--Do understand that LGBTQ youth may be particularly
vulnerable and sensitive

--Do describe people who transition as transgender, and
use transgender as an adjective

Photo Left: PFLAG Moms, Mrs. Elizabeth Montgomery and
Mrs. Jean Manford, show their support during the 1974
Pride Day Parade in New York City. Photo Right: PFLAG
Dad, Dick Ashworth, a founding member of Parents and
Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG,) marching on June
3, 1974.

In 1972,
Morton Manford was physically attacked at a gay rights
demonstration in New York. Morty’s parents, Jeanne and
Jules Manford, saw the attack on a local newscast and
witnessed the failure of the police to intervene. Their
outrage turned them into activists. The concept of PFLAG
began in 1972 when Jeanne Manford marched with her gay
son in New York’s Pride Day parade. After many gay men
and lesbians ran up to Jeanne during the parade and
begged her to talk to their parents, Jeanne decided to
begin a support group. Approximately 20 people attended
the first formal meeting held in March 1973 at a local
church.

In the next years, through word of mouth and in response
to community need, similar groups sprung up around the
country, offering “safe havens” and mutual support for
parents with gay and lesbian children. Following the
1979 National March for Gay and Lesbian Rights,
representatives from these support groups met for the
first time in Washington, DC. In 1981, members decided
to launch a national organization.

The first PFLAG
office was established in Los Angeles under founding
President Adele Starr. In 1982, the Federation of
Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), then
comprising some 20 groups, changed from a federation to
a membership-based organization and was incorporated in
California and granted non-profit, tax-exempt status. In
1990, following a period of enormous growth, PFLAG hired
an Executive Director, expanded its staff, and
consolidated operations in Washington, DC. In 1993, the
word “Families” was added to the name.

Do you want to be an
LGBTQ ally? What is your motivation to be an LGBTQ ally?
Most straight people who begin the process of becoming
an LGBTQ ally describe feelings of anxiety because their
internal pro-LGBTQ beliefs were incongruent with their
external behaviors.

I had a similar
experience. I first wanted to be an ally because I was
tired of being silent during situations in which people
talked about the LGBTQ community. Internally, I felt
comfortable with my lesbian and gay friends and accepted
LGBTQ persons. However, having LGBTQ friends did not
help me feel comfortable about talking with LGBTQ
persons about their concerns and realities. I recall
several occasions when I fell silent and wished I could
have said more.

For example, I remember
riding in a car with a gay couple and one of the
partners talked about how his family struggled to accept
him. I was silent, wanting to say something to show my
understanding, but unable to do so. I remember, at a
wedding, I heard other persons continually make jokes
about a gay man and I could not respond. I remember
trying to be supportive when a classmate, “came out” and
told me he was gay. I remember others who said that
there had to be a biological cause to being gay because
no one would intentionally choose to be gay. I remember
agreeing with my friend that it was difficult to know
how to respond to a man when he says he has difficulty
telling his family that he is gay. I remember talking to
a Christian person who accepted gays only because she
“loved the sinner and hated the sin.” I remember
inadvertently discovering that my friend was a lesbian
and I did not know how to respond.

During those times, I
remember being passive and silent. I expressed general
acceptance, but I always felt disappointed in how I
handled those experiences. I just did not know what to
say when a person made jokes about gays or lesbians or
if a gay or lesbian person “came out” to me. My silence
made me anxious. If, internally, I felt comfortable
being around gays and lesbians, and I had gay and
lesbian friends, when I had the chance to say something
meaningful whenever others talked about being gay, why
did I become silent? I was tired of being silent and
wanted to do something about it.

Most straight allies
report experiencing “ambivalence” and a “fear of the
unknown.” In the early stages, allies might feel anxious
because they do not know what is expected of them. An
ally may fear how LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ persons will react
to them. Initially, I feared that I would not be a
“credible” ally. I felt that I was less “qualified” to
be an ally compared to friends who had LGBTQ siblings.
My friends were “credible” allies because they knew what
it was like when their family member “came out” as gay
or lesbian. I did not have these experiences, so how
could I relate? Would others describe me as an ally to
the LGBTQ community? I had to answer “no.” Honestly, I
felt that it was not enough for me to say I had LGBTQ
friends, that I accepted LGBTQ persons, or that I was
against the oppression of the LGBTQ community. I was
uncomfortable because I felt that I was too passive. I
needed to do more.

However, if I wanted to
“do more,” what would I do? What evidence did I need to
back my claim that I was an ally? Should I read more
literature about the LGBTQ community? Should I take
every opportunity to strike down LGBTQ jokes? Should I
speak out and fight legislation that discriminates
against LGBTQ individuals? How should I respond if
someone used the Bible as “evidence” that being gay was
fundamentally wrong?

New allies need to
explore their fears and anxiety. I too had to explore my
self-doubts and ineffable anxiety. I wondered if others
might question my motives. Among my motives was my
desire to improve my interactions with LGBTQ persons and
because the LGBTQ community deserves fair justice and
equal treatment.

Sometimes, allies
encounter less than positive reactions from non-LGBTQ
persons who may even question an ally’s sexual identity.

It is important that new
allies become aware of homophobia and understand the
oppression of the LGBTQ community and, as a result, lay
the foundation for genuine empathy and compassion.

Even though I thought of
myself as an ally, I still felt powerless about
discussing the concerns and realities that LGBTQ persons
face. I still did not know how to support LGBTQ persons
if they decided to “come out” to me, if they were
anxious if their families and friends would accept their
LGBTQ identity, or if they talked about the detrimental
effects of homophobia.

To be effective, allies
need to acquire knowledge about the experiences,
concerns, and realities of the LGBTQ community. I needed
to enter a knowledge stage. To gain knowledge, I wanted
to be a part of a group that was involved with the LGBTQ
community. The logical place to start was a local PFLAG
chapter. I attended a PFLAG meeting and found it to be
illuminating. I met an old friend and found out that
after all these years he was gay. We have maintained our
friendship ever since. Members were happy to see a
straight man participating in PFLAG. The meeting also
altered my assumption that everyone at PFLAG was
comfortable with his or her

LGBTQ loved ones. Some
have fully embraced their gay or lesbian family member
while others still struggled to accept. However, PFLAG
provided a space for everyone to feel comfortable and
talk openly about their experiences in being a family
member or a friend of a LGBTQ loved one.

As I listened to their
stories, I became familiar with the experiences of LGBTQ
persons, the coming out process, and the experience of
family members when they first received the news that
their loved one was LGBTQ. I discovered a key reason to
be an ally. Allies can support non-LGBTQ persons, family
members and friends, who feel isolated because they
carry a secret: someone they know and love is gay.

For example, one mother
said her daughter confided that she was a lesbian.
However, the daughter was unsure if she could tell the
other members of her family. Only the mother knew her
daughter’s secret. Consequently, when the mother came to
a PFLAG meeting she could not tell family members where
she went because she did not want to expose her
daughter’s secret.

A father described how
difficult it was for him to hear his fellow co-workers
joke about “homosexuals.” He could not risk saying he
was offended because he was afraid of the potential
backlash if he disclosed he had a gay son. Listening to
these stories, I began to understand that being an ally
is not just about accepting LGBTQ persons. One can
support parents, family members, and other non-LGBTQ
persons who feel isolated because their secrets cannot
be shared due to homophobia, discrimination, and
oppression. In a homophobic society, it is not enough to
accept passively LGBTQ persons. Allies need to express
openly their support so everyone can be free to either
say they are LGBTQ or that they know someone who is.

In an effort to be more
effective, allies should engage in pro-LGBTQ activities.
I finally felt comfortable interacting with LGBTQ
persons and their families and friends because I felt
conversant in the experiences and realities of the LGBTQ
community. I was no longer silent.

But, allies do more than
simply voice support for the LGBTQ community. They can
support LGBTQ persons who are coming out, support the
family and friends of LGBTQ persons, and non-LGBTQ
persons who struggle with homophobia or oppression. By
accessing supportive resources and interacting with the
LGBTQ community, one can develop pro-LGBTQ skills and
form an ally identity.

Here are reasons why it
was important for non-LGBTQ persons to support the LGBTQ
community:

--Allies can help other
persons stop the oppression of LGBTQ persons.

--Some non-LGBTQ persons
may have communicated to an LGBTQ person that his or her
sexual identity is deviant, inappropriate, or
transitional. Allies, however, can embrace and value an
LGBTQ person’s sexual identity.

--Allies can dispel the
myths and misconceptions of the LGBTQ community that are
held by the majority of society.

--Allies can help
non-LGBTQ persons positively resolve their biases and
discomfort with LGBTQ persons.

--An LGBTQ person might
feel excluded from other parts of society if the LGBTQ
community is the only community that accepts him or her.
Allies from all parts of society can help LGBTQ persons
feel acceptance. When everyone, not just the LGBTQ
community, accepts and includes LGBTQ persons, LGBTQ
persons have an easier time accepting their identities.

--Sometimes, the LGBTQ
community may not express acceptance towards an LGBTQ
person. In these cases, an LGBTQ person can rely on
allies for safety and support.

--Allies can provide hope
to an LGBTQ person that non-LGBTQ persons will accept
his or her sexual identity when the LGBTQ person is
ready to come out” to his or her families and friends.

--Allies can support an
LGBTQ person if his or her own family or friends do not
accept or support him or her.

--The friends and family
members of LGBTQ persons, who are searching for support,
may need to come out to allies.

--Persons who want to
come out as allies need the support of other allies.

--Allies can make every
setting (workplace, school, social group) safe for LGBTQ
persons and their family and friends to come out.

--It is simply the right
thing to do.

As an active ally, I
realized that to be a true supporter meant remaining
curious about my ally identity, being honest about
myself, acknowledging what I knew about my experiences
with the LGBTQ community, and deciding how I wanted to
be of help.

Ultimately, being an ally
is about taking action. This final stage of becoming an
ally involves open advocacy for the LGBTQ community. I
was finally able to reach that stage. At that point, I
felt comfortable in a supportive role. I felt I could
support an LGBTQ person’s concerns and realities if he
or she decided to come out. I also felt I could offer
support to the families and friends of LGBTQ persons and
interact with LGBTQ persons and converse with them about
their experiences with homophobia, oppression, and
heterosexual privilege.