This eloquent thank you letter that came in the mail to our Akron office was one of the best holiday

This eloquent thank you letter that came in the mail to our Akron office was one of the best holiday gifts we could have gotten this year. It also offers hope to other sufferers of complex, persistent posttraumatic stress...

Dear Belleruth,

This is a thank you letter. My daughter-in-law sent me your book, Invisible Heroes, and CD, Healing Trauma, and they have changed my life. For the first time in my life - I’m 48 - I have some relief and understanding. I always thought I was crazy. No one else seemed to experience life the way I did. I just didn’t fit. I became very good at acting like everyone else and pushing away how I really thought and felt until it became as natural as breathing. All my energy went toward trying to be "normal".

My trauma did not consist of one horrific incident - it was cumulative over my life and I couldn’t see that. I was told by my father that I was an accident and not wanted. My mother was in and out of hospitals and I never knew if she would come home again. I was fondled by a great-uncle and when I told my mother, she said to just stay away from him. (I’m just hitting the highlights here!) I got the message I was worthless. This is an image I am just beginning to change.

I had read books and talked about it ‘til I was tired of it and it never seemed to make a difference. If anything, it only seemed to get worse. Then I would feel guilty - count your blessings - it’s in the past - let it go - move on - it wasn’t that big a deal - that’s what my inner dialog was saying. When I wasn’t able to do those things, I felt like a failure. But deep inside was this little girl crying - I’m hurting - someone pay attention - someone help!

I have been given the gift of a loving husband, but he couldn’t understand or fix me. I just never understood until I read the book - it gave me understanding and the CD has given me help. I have been listening to the affirmations for 6 months now. I have a long commute to work and I use that time to listen. One day I realized my internal fear had lessened. I began to see myself as separate from my experiences - they weren’t me - they affect me and are a part of me, but they are not me.

Then an amazing thing happened after the 4th month - twice in one week I had a dream in which I was happy and laughing!! That had never happened before in my entire life!! I either didn’t remember my dreams or they were nightmares that would sometimes wake me up crying or yelling in terror.

How can I thank you - this has literally saved my life. I thank God for sending this my way and using you and my daughter-in-law as instruments of healing.

I’m still listening and the perspective changes as occasionally one of the affirmations will jump out at me and become a truth. The last line of the affirmations about being held in the hands of God and being safe is the most powerful for me. I remember the first time I listened to the whole CD, including the guided imagery. I walked int the bathroom afterwards and saw myself in the mirror. I was startled to see me for the first time. I said, "Hi, Where have you been?"

I still struggle, but at least now I know and believe that these wounds to the heart and spirit can heal and be transformed. If you ever want an endorsement, please feel free to contact me. Again, thank you!

Psychotherapist, author and guided imagery pioneer Belleruth Naparstek is the creator of the popular Health Journeys guided imagery audio series. Her latest book on imagery and posttraumatic stress, Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal (Bantam Dell), won the Spirituality & Health Top 50 Books Award