from the sexiest-lawsuit-ever dept

We've seen silly trademark suits over all kinds of things before. Common phrases come to mind, as do petty politicians going after parodies and the government feeling it necessary to trademark groups of American heroes lest the House of Mouse gobble them up. The point is we see a lot of dumb 'round these parts, but we rarely see that dumb mixed with sexy.

But now, thanks to The Tilted Kilt franchise going after golf club for having some of their staff wearing completely different looking kilts, we apparently can't say that any longer. The club in question is the Kilted Caddy Club, a golf course that provides female caddies in kilts for some of their golf tournaments, because nothing helps a man concentrate on sinking that twenty-foot sloped birdie putt like a nice pair of legs. The Tilted Kilt franchise, in case you aren't aware, provides bar/restaurants in which scantily-clad women in kilts and low-cut button-down shirts serve you sub-par food while the worst music you can imagine plays around you and your fellow degenerate friends. In other words, we're dealing with two quality organizations here. Well, apparently one side of this equation got their kilts in a bunch to the point of filing a very silly trademark claim.

The Tempe, Ariz.-based Tilted Kilt, which has nearly 100 locations nationwide including one at Broadway at the Beach, says in court documents that the caddy club is copying its distinctive and trademarked “uniforms,” thereby, confusing consumers into thinking the two businesses are related. The Tilted Kilt has asked a judge for a permanent injunction against the Kilted Caddy Club’s use of its name and tantalizing tartan uniforms, as well as unspecified monetary damages.

Now, let's start off with the obvious problem: the two companies aren't in the same line of business. One is a golf course (that of course has a clubhouse bar and food, but meh), the other is a bar/restaurant. They aren't competing against one another. That should probably be enough to toss this thing out already. Add to that the fact that the two uniforms aren't really all that similar beyond incorporating a bastardization of a traditional Scottish kilt, and it's all the more difficult to see this going anywhere. Judge for yourself. Here are some women in their Tilted Kilt uniforms, making their parents proud:

And here are some women from The Kilted Caddy Club.

Now, while it is true that the golf course put out some advertisements for events with girls dressed in garb more similar to Tilted Kilt girls, they still aren't competing against one another and no moron in a hurry is going to think that the restaurant company suddenly went into the golf course business and failed to use their brand name. And besides all of that, the idea of preventing a golf course, a game with Scottish origins, from having a Scottish theme, is sort of silly on its face. Still, because this is a trademark dispute, it must devolve into a silly linguistics lesson from the club's lawyer, Dan Polley.

Polley said, there should be no confusion over the names because the restaurant chain uses the word “tilted” as an adjective for the noun “kilt” while the caddy club uses “kilted” as an adjective for the noun “caddy.”

“The respective marks do not have any closeness in appearance, sound or meaning,” Polley said. “Coupled with the fact that our client’s services are provided solely at its Scottish theme golf course, the chance for confusion is remote.”

Or how about, rather than having everyone get their MLA handbooks out, maybe two companies not competing against each other just don't have to find themselves battling in court. That work for everyone?