Friday, January 29, 2010

What's the difference between texting while driving and driving while blindfolded? Unfortunately, there is no difference. :o(If you really need to text message or play with your iPhone-type gadgets, do it while not driving down the road. Your driving will greatly improve and your text messages will probably make much more sense. In summary: Don't Text While Driving. Put another way, if you're operating a motorized vehicle, don't be texting.iPhone means iCrash. Pay attention or pay the consequences.

Monday, January 18, 2010

This is the first in a collection of photo art pieces which will be known as our Mystery Art Gallery. Different things can be seen in it.Some think it might resemble this or that.What do you think it is?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The U.S. Postal Service is slowy working to modernize its different areas of operations.Here is a sneak peek into the new and more efficient sorting room.Through a vast system of bags, bins, and baskets, postal workers can sort all the mail with a minimum of errors. Since smoking is not allowed to minimize fires, each postal associate has the option of having their own personal spittoon next to their work station. Postmaster General Jack Potter believes he can work his wizardry by implementing the following flowchart for consistently accurate distribution of the U.S. Mail.As they say, the person with the visual aid always wins the argument. With the cost of mailing a letter nearing a JFK half dollar, we hope the United States Postal Service continues to strive to be the best it can be at delivering US the mail.Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

As a reward to all tax-loving Democrats for supporting their tax-increasing representatives, Harry Reid announces a new Democrat Tax. Only available to registered Democrats, the Senate majority leader wants you to be able to pay much more in taxes. You will be voluntarily mandated to pay 80% of your taxable income to your federal government. For Nebraskan Democrats, a special back-room deal was made offering them a generous 85% tax. Democrats are reportedly ecstatic over the idea they will finally be able to pay most of their income to Big Government. A Democrat speaking on conditions of anonymity said: "I wish I could pay all my income to the government." Another said: "Every government agency is so efficient. I think government should take all my money so I will be totally taken care of by Big Government."

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Most towns still have home delivery services of milk from the milkman. Other home deliveries might include pizza and mail.One of the best days in our neighborhood is when the Heineken Man makes his rounds. It is always nice to have a small stockpile of biers at home during the long, cold winters. But if you happen to be running a bit low, it is so convenient to have a case delivered directly from The Netherlands to your front door.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

It might have been a dream, but we once possibly spent a Christmas on Maui. Bad News: It seems like a faint fantasy. Good News: We have some evidentiary photos. Bad News: The details are a bit sketchy. My dream starts out walking down a random Maui street going to do some last minute Christmas shopping for Maui Christmas 2008.Along the beach is encountered a young gentleman holding exactly what was sought: An Aerobie! The perfect gift for anyone, expecially me. Negotiations ensued between myself and the young, well-spoken gentleman, who called himself Mr. Reagan.After underwriting a sure win-win scenario, the two of us, along with our corporate attorney, decided to join the group for some Caring & Sharing. This quickly gave way to the obligatory Aerobie Toss Competitions.Uncle Scotty was both judge and jury when it came to intergame shinanigans. Scotty can verbal judo with the best of them. Mylah always said Super Uncle Scotty was the best athlete in the family.Heated conversation and sand eventuated in the ceremonial Cool Foot Bath for President Reagan. Conservative elephants are perfect for the job.As the afternoon plays out, Happy Hour looms on the horizon. The Miles Brothers Corp relaxes into committee meetings and readings of minutes. New jokes are told and old stories are exaggerated.The Miles Brothers Corp winds up another successful Dream Conference. From Wales to Maui, the Miles Family traditions get passed on to the torch bearers for the next generations.

Good News: During the summer, our backyard trees have a fence around them.Bad News: During the winter, those fences don't fence out the tree-eating rabbits due to high snow levels.Good News: Yesterday, I shovelled a moat around our trees to protect them from hungry bunnies.Instead of a "remote", this is a "tree moat". Lessons learned from the past include protecting new trees from our rabbit population. Another lesson learned would be to not leave grass exposed to the harsh cold. Leaving a covering of snow to blanket the grass protects it from freezing temperatures. Current actual temperature outside this morning: -26 F. This is one way North Dakota keeps out the Riff Raff.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Holiday laughter still rings in our earsAll's well as we end a year with cheersPresents were opened and feasts were consumedPartridge with sour cream wine sauce

should've been mushroomed

Yes, Christmas was magical, truly a giftNew Year's resolutions start on the 4th or the 5thEndeavors begun with the highest of hopesWishing all those yeps don't turn into nopesYet after the ball drops and everyone's kissedEmbers glow on for the ones that we missedAs new snowflakes fall, it's Two Thousand-TenRemember your mantra and keep your life Zen.