Everything in life is a
matter of perception. Three years ago when Rav Ovadiah Yosef zt’l was niftar,
Klal Yisroel lost an absolute giant who was responsible for incredible amount
of Torah learning and for reviving the Sephardic community.

His life was dedicated to
serving G-d and his love for his people – no matter their background – was
unparalleled. His humility gave him the uncanny ability to relate to even the
simplest Jews and his charisma was contagious.

The well over 800,000 Jews
of all levels of affiliation that attended his funeral, and thousands more who
couldn’t even enter Yerushalayim, are the greatest testimony of his greatness. This
was a man who cried about the million Jews who don’t know “Shema Yisroel” and
wanted nothing more than to spread the word of G-d.

Yet the foolish secular
media portrayed him as a ‘politician with controversial views’.

I would venture to think
that the average American who hears a few headlines about the current Mideast
crisis simply cannot believe that they are being presented with outright lies.

Consider the following
recent Euronews report about the situation in Israel: “Palestinians have been
burying their dead, with at least seventeen killed in this upsurge recent in
violence in Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza.” It sure sounds like Israel is
walking around causing terror among the defenseless and blameless Palestinians.
The fact that the seventeen dead were knife-wielding terrorists who tried to
kill innocent civilian Israelis is not mentioned.

Then there was this news
report: “On Sunday an Israeli air strike killed a woman in Gaza who was five
months pregnant along with her three year old daughter. The IDF claimed the
airstrike was retaliation for a Hamas missile fired from the area. The streets
of Gaza were flooded with mourners.”

The reporter failed to
mention that Hamas purposely fired the rocket from a residential area, so that
Israel’s effort at self-defense through retaliation would inevitably end up
hurting civilians.

These false media
representations which are outright lies, affect us as a nation and as a
religious community. There is nothing and no one who cannot be tarnished by
false portrayal and misrepresentations.

We would be wise to
remember that today’s written word is more often than not unbalanced broadcasting
and that ‘all the news that’s fit to print’ is not too ‘fit’ after all.

Last week, America celebrated Columbus Day. In
recent years Columbus Day has become somewhat controversial as there are many
teachers who are hesitant to hail Columbus
as a national hero. Nonetheless everyone celebrates the day because a day off
is a day off and a sale is a sale.

Many point to the fact that Columbus acted savagely
and brutally against the Native Americans that were living there and had an
arrogant narcissistic personality. .

Then there is also the question of why
we praise Columbus for discovering America when there were others who arrived in
America long before him. Aside for the million Native Americans who were
already here, in the year 1000 Viking leader Leif Ericson led a group to Newfoundland in Canada. [He subsequently started a
football team in Minnesota.]

However, history books are always
written from the vantage point of the victor[1],
and for now America
still celebrates Columbus Day. The prevailing feeling is that our nation’s
formation and growth was only thanks to the voyage of Columbus. The reality is that Columbus did not do anything
more than to accidentally discover a land he wasn’t even looking for. If it was
up to him he never would have arrived here.

The story of Columbus is on some level the story of our
lives. We set out on the voyages of life with certain specific goals and
destinations in mind. Then so often tempests blow that change the course of our
sails and we end up very far from where we expected or planned. Sometimes the
journeys are enjoyable and pleasant, but oftentimes they are painful and
challenging. We hope for the former types of journeys, but we grow and mature
from the latter.

The challenges and vicissitudes of life
help us discover internal greatness that we didn’t realize we possessed. When
we traverse and prevail over the tests of life we are the beneficiaries.

Avrohom Avinu is instructed to set out
on a journey. He has no idea where he is heading or what to expect. It is a
journey that culminates with the birth of the greatest nation on earth. Avrohom
was compelled to endure challenge after challenge, but when he emerged he not
only discovered greatness within him, he successfully transmitted that
greatness to his progeny.

The tests of our lives help us discover
the unchartered territories of greatness – the proverbial Americas within
us. But often unless we are goaded to discover those lands they remain
undeveloped and barren.

Around the time of Columbus’s third voyage, an explorer named
Americus Vespucius, arrived on these shores. The newly discovered land was
named after him. I guess America
sounded better than Vespucica.

Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,

R’ Dani and Chani Staum

720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY10977 • (845) 362-2425

[1] The one
notable exception is Jewish history, which grants the reader the rare
perspective of viewing history often from the vantage point of the persecuted
and underprivileged.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Part of the Chol Hamoed experience includes
‘back of hand stamps’. At many parks and recreational facilities, the policy is
that if you need to leave temporarily after entering the park, before doing so
you need to get your hand stamped. Just before the exit, there is a highly
trained attendant who knows how to delicately and precisely apply the stamp to
the back of your hand. Then when you are ready to re-enter, the employee at the
entrance gate looks for the stamp. If it’s there you are permitted to re-enter
without repaying the entrance fee again.

If you go on different trips during the
days of Chol Hamoed, by the time Chol Hamoed is over the back of your hand can
look like a coloring book with different stamps from various locations.

Some of the stamps fade away immediately
while others linger for a few more days before they too disappear completely.

During the winter a few decades ago, I
and a friend were staying at the home of a classmate in order to attend the bar
mitzvah of another classmate. Before Shabbos, as my friend’s father showed us
to our room, he also showed us something else which was stored nearby – his fully
intact esrog from Succos a few months earlier. He revealed to us the secret –
he placed his esrog in a sealed glass jar along with a wax candle, and stored
it in his garage. The result was that the esrog looked as fresh as it did when
Succos ended.

A few years ago I related the secret of
successful esrog preservation to my children. Our older children were very
excited and wanted to see if it worked. So now in our garage we have several
jars of preserved esrogim, each labeled with the year and whose esrog it was. They
look like specimens from a laboratory. The oldest esrog is from three years ago
and is indeed fully intact.

Parshas Noach relates the tragic story
of the flood. The Torah states that “it erased all that existed.” The week of
Parshas Noach is the first full week after the holiday season has drawn to a
close. As we recount that catastrophic deluge which eradicated all that existed
prior, we hope it is not also when all that we have accomplished these last few
weeks becomes erased as well.

Part of the post Yom Tov challenge is to
maintain the inspiration we gained from the Yom Tov (even as we try to shed the
calories that we gained at the same time). Our goal is that the inspiration
shouldn’t fade like the nebulous stamp on the back of our hands. In order to do
so we need to seal it within our hearts and focus on all we have attained and
achieved.

Noach saved the world by bringing
everything worthy of salvation into the taivah (ark). The Ba’al Shem Tov
related that the word taivah also means ‘word’. A Jew is able to maintain inspiration
by holding on to ‘words’: Words of Torah and prayer, and words of encouragement
that we share with each other. All of such words help maintain a connection with
our personal growth throughout the months of Elul and Tishrei.

If we are able to retain the joy and
connection of Elul and Tishrei, then when we prepare to light the Chanukah
candles in a few weeks, we will find that the inspiration of Succos is vibrant
within us. This despite the fact that the succah has long before been dismantled
and our lulav and esrog have dried out, unless you try my method to save
your esrog.

Friday, October 9, 2015

During one of the days
of Chol Hamoed Succos last week, when the weather outside was less than
favorable we took our children ice skating. Being the good sport that he is,
our children’s father got on the ice as well. I must say that having not skated
much since I took lessons when I was around ten years old, I wasn’t all that
bad on the ice. But I certainly was no match for my children. Every few minutes
they would wave and giggle as they passed me.

As they kept passing me
it struck me that this was somewhat of a symbolism of what every parent wants
and hopes for their children in life. We want to give our children the tools
and resources to be able to accomplish more than we have in our own lives. We
hope and pray that our children will be able to access and develop all of their
latent talents and utilize them to their fullest capacity.

Of course it’s not enough
to give our children training and resources, we also have to give them the
space to fall. We have to imbue them with the confidence that they can grow
from their mistakes and fallings. We want them to understand that that those
mistakes can help them grow if they learn from them.

Rabbi Leibel
Chaitovsky, the eighth grade rebbe in Ashar, and one of the greatest educators
I know, invests greatly in creating positive relationships with his students. A
few years ago, towards the beginning of the school-year I noticed that, for a
few days in a row, he was playing chess with one of his students. This
particular student was academically weak and I was impressed with Rabbi
Chaitovsky’s novel approach to developing a connection with him.

After one such game I saw
that student standing next to Rabbi Chaitovsky, and I asked the student who had
won the game. The student proudly and emphatically announced “me!” As soon as
he walked away Rabbi Chaitovsky leaned over, smiled, and whispered in my ear,
“It wasn’t easy!”

Besides giving our
children proverbial sharpened skates, teaching them how to use them,
encouraging them, and helping them achieve a sense of mastery, there is an even
more important component of their success: we have to sincerely give them time
and attention so that they can recognize their abilities and worth.

Between you and me, I
was really allowing them to go ahead just to help them feel good. You have to
understand that I didn’t want to show off too much on the ice. But let’s just
keep that between us.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Joe was
one of those young entrepreneurs who seemed that have the Hand of Midas. Every
venture he invested in, each deal he went after, and every business prospect he
followed, seemed to turn to gold. At thirty-five years old he was wealthier
than he ever could have imagined. Cars, exotic vacations, more than one stately
mansion in various locations – he couldn’t spend his money fast enough. But he
was growing increasingly disillusioned with his life and nothing seemed
exciting anymore.

Then one
day while attending a business expo in a posh hotel, there was a Jewish
Discovery Seminar taking place at the same time. With some time to kill and
curiously about his latent Jewish roots, Joe wandered in and sat in the back as
one of the lectures began. He was enthralled with what he heard. He ended up
sitting through three more lectures and by the end of the day he was completely
blown away. He had no idea where and what his next step would be, but he knew
he had to pursue it further; he knew he had to make a major change in his life.

Jessica
had a very troubled youth. The fact that her parents were never around and they
lived in poverty only made things worse. In her youth she gravitated towards a
bad crowd and ended up in all the wrong places. Now she was a young adult and
didn’t know what to do with herself. She was disgusted with her life on the
streets and the life of drugs, violence, and everything else that came with it.

Then one
day she met her fifth grade teacher – the one she had idolized, and the one she
felt truly cared about her. Her teacher’s spark was still there, and she
invited Jessica to spend a Shabbos with her family. Jessica accepted the offer
and enjoyed her first relaxing and uplifting experience in almost a decade.
After Shabbos was over Jessica knew it was time for a change. She had no idea
where she would go and how she would get there, but she knew the direction she
had to take.

A year passes
and with it the triteness of life. Then suddenly on Rosh Hashanah we are struck
with a moment of inspiration. We feel that there is something greater that we
are a part of and that we need to tap into. Yom Kippur is a Discovery seminar
wherein we rediscover our selves and seek to reconnect with ourselves. When Yom
Kippur ends we know we need to make some changes, and we know the general direction
we need to pursue. However, we are still not sure how to get there.

Sefas Emes
(Succos 5636) writes that a ba’al teshuva always feels somewhat lost. He has
made a commitment to leave his past life and pursue something greater, but he
doesn’t yet know how to arrive there. The succah is the place G-d provides as
the haven and training grounds for the ba’al teshuva.

For a week
he dwells in the embrace of G-d and trains how to eat, sleep, and live a G-dly
life. He is visited by seven of the greatest instructors of all time – they are
called the Ushpizin. [True, one does not see the Ushpizin, but the fact that we
focus on one of them each night, affords us the opportunity to learn from their
example as recorded in the Torah, about how to live a divine life.]

This is
why Succos follows Yom Kippur. The gemara states that in the place where a
ba’al teshuva stands, even the most sincerely righteous cannot stand. Sefas
Emes explains that this is because G-d provides ‘place’ for the Ba’al Teshuva
so that he can achieve his dream of living an elevated and sanctified life.

A friend
of mine who became a ba’al teshuva years ago and is today a respected talmid
chochom, once conveyed to me the challenge of a ba’al teshuva in raising
children. “We don’t know what is considered normal in the frum circles. At
times ba’alei teshuva go to an extreme and don’t allow their children breathing
room, which causes many problems later on. It’s not enough to create ba’alei
teshuva, they continue to need direction and guidance in every facet of their
Judaism. In many ways they need it more than those born into a Torah observant
family.”

The succah
provides us with direction, so that when we return to our homes on Shemini
Atzeres we can celebrate our achievements and how far we have come.

But at
that point we are faced with the great fear of not losing all that we have
gained.

As we
return to our opening anecdotes, if we fast forward many months, Joe and
Jessica are now known as Yosef and Rivka and are living Torah observant lives. But
they also live with an embedded fear that they can be influenced by their old
friends and fall back into old habits. They always have to ensure that they are
connected with their supports who they knew they can turn to whenever they need
chizuk.

We too
live with a similar fear after our ‘training session’ on Succos. So on the
final day of this incredible holiday/journey, we clutch our guarantor close to
our hearts emotionally pledging ourselves to all it states. It is in the
constant study and dedication to Torah that our hope lies. That is how we can
maintain our growth throughout the year.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

It doesn’t
matter which of the Jewish Magazines you pick up from any of the local
newsstands now before Succos, all of the Succos editions seem to have a similar
format. For starters they are all impressively large and the front cover
contains beautiful images about Succos which highlights of many of the classic
articles you will find inside.

Then, when
you open any of the magazines, you will notice the following basic sequence:

The first
eight pages contain advertisements for beautiful shaitels, stunning jewelry,
and magnificent vacation destinations that appeal to all of your senses. That
is followed with the Editor’s note in which the editor writes about the
importance of the message of Succos and how it teaches us to give up from the
physical world’s amenities and luxuries so that we can discover and achieve
true internal happiness. The editor then gives you a taste of the wonderful
articles you will find inside which are all basically centered around that
theme.

The next ten
pages are advertisements for restaurants, mouthwatering meats, exquisite
cheeses, and sumptuous desserts. Then there is a feature article which
describes the greatness of the Ushpizin, how they lived their lives with utter
simplicity, and never indulged in this world. True they may have been blessed
with wealth, but they used it solely to help others, and never sought to pamper
themselves in any way. They chose a path of service to Hashem in everything
they did.

The
following fifteen pages have beautiful ads for many exotic Pesach locations
throughout the world, and many other special dates with great deals that you
cannot afford(!) to miss – such as midwinter in Miami, Cancun, and LA, Shabbos
parshas Noach on Har Ararat in Turkey, Shabbos Lech Lecha in the footsteps of
Avrom in Aram Naharayim, etc. Then there is a feature article which describes
the timeless lesson of the Succah which teaches us that we need nothing more
from life other than to always feel we are in Hashem’s protective embrace. We
don’t need to travel to find fulfillment because all that matters is that we
are close to Hashem.

Then there are
another twenty pages of ads for your brand new state of the art kitchen with
five thousand dollar handles for the faucets, and many other features that will
make your home the talk of the block (until your neighbor constructs a nicer
kitchen). Then there will be a feature article about Koheles and why we read it
during ‘the season of our happiness’ when it seems so foreboding, depressing,
and hopeless. The article will explain that Koheles is really coming to uplift
us by reminding us that only if we live for this world and indulge too much in
it is everything futile and vain. But if we live for a higher purpose and train
ourselves to be happy with what we have than we can achieve true meaning and
happiness, even in this world.

I’m guessing
by now you get my point.

So basically
my advice is that if you want to gain some real appreciation of the greatness
of Succos from the wonderful literature that the magazines provide us with (and
I’m not being facetious about that), best is to read the articles and skip all
the ads in between. I’m guessing you won’t see this article posted in any of those
magazines, but at least you were lucky enough to read it here.

Each year on Erev Rosh
Hashanah and Erev Yom Kippur I try to visit the cemetery which is a one minute
drive from our shul. I daven at the kevarim of some of the tzaddikim buried
there including Rav Mordechai Schwab, Rav Nesanel Quinn, the Ribnitzer Rebbe,
and the Skulener Rebbe zt’l.

Each year as I enter the
cemetery I tuck my tzitzis into my pants so that they are not visible as is the
halacha. Shulchan Aruch (Oh”C 23:1) states that if one’s tzitzis are visible
when he visits a cemetery it is tantamount to “mocking the impoverished”. Those
who have already left this world understand how invaluable every mitzvah is.
Since they no longer have the opportunity to perform mitzvos we don’t want to
‘stick in their face’ as it were, especially as we approach them to intercede
on our behalf.

As I tuck in my tzitzis I
wonder what the deceased would say about the cell phone visibly hanging from my
cell phone. If having tzitzis visible in a cemetery is analogous to mocking the
dead, I wonder if having a cell phone visible is analogous to giving the dead a
good laugh. “You foolish people, fritting your time away with so much
nonsense, why don’t you put that silly time-killer away?” Surely there is
much good that we do with our phones, but many of us spend a great deal of time
using our phones and other media to escape into the fantastical and fake world
of social fantasy media.

The cemetery in Monsey
has a well with a pump attached to it so those who visit the cemetery can wash
their hands afterwards, as is required by halacha. To siphon the water one
needs to pump vigorously for a minute or two until the water begins to flow
out.

The focal point of the
joyous celebration of Succos was the Simchas Bais Hashoeivah. Although the
actual service was the pouring of the drawn water onto the side of the
Mizbeaiach, the celebration is titled “the joy of the drawing”.

In a sense that
represents what the joy of Succos is all about. Succos celebrates our reconnection
with G-d and all that is valuable in life, which we attained through our
efforts that culminated with Yom Kippur.

The pouring of the water
is the result of the drawing, our herculean efforts to reach deep within ourselves
and draw out our latent greatness so it can gush forth.

In Shir Hashirim, Shlomo
Hamelech poetically and nostalgically states: “I am asleep but my heart is
awake.” Isn’t that the story of our lives? In our hearts we yearn for
greatness, but our bodies are sloth and sluggish. But during the celestial
moments of Neilah we are finally awake. Before we have the chance to lap back
into slumber we quickly immerse ourselves in the celebration of Succos. We
spend a week in the embrace of G-d, shaking the Four Species in all the
directions which G-d controls. It’s a joy that stems from deep within; joy that
we have drawn out from in ourselves.

Succos is the joy of the
soul merging with the happiness of the body; a celebration of our ability to
overcome our inclination to frit away our life, by performing mitzvos as long
as we are living.