None of these are as bad as the costumes when I was a kid: a plastic mask of some cartoon character (held on one's face by the thinnest, weakest rubber band known to man) and a plastic smock displaying a picture and the name of said cartoon character.

Ape Shiat Nuts:None of these are as bad as the costumes when I was a kid: a plastic mask of some cartoon character (held on one's face by the thinnest, weakest rubber band known to man) and a plastic smock displaying a picture and the name of said cartoon character.

We always had to just use a team sport uniform, gray face paint, and a little fake blood. Undead Baseball Player. Undead Basketball Player. Undead Soccer Player. Each lamer than the one before...

Ape Shiat Nuts:None of these are as bad as the costumes when I was a kid: a plastic mask of some cartoon character (held on one's face by the thinnest, weakest rubber band known to man) and a plastic smock displaying a picture and the name of said cartoon character.

Yeah well mine was a hand-me-down my mom made for my brother. A tiger costume that I wore for about three Halloweens.It was made quite well. Come to think of it, it was pretty darn cute and quite warm and all the neighbours liked it so I'm fine with that.

Halloween is the one time of year I truly love and appreciate children.

Not even Halloween will do that for me.

Ome problem with OK Cupid is 99.99% of the available women over 40 -- the ones not likely to call me "pedophile" for writing to them -- have kids & often grandkids. And I hate children too much to fake it or even tolerate their screechy precence. (Does that make me a pedoPHOBE?) Add that to being a professional lunatic who does not accept "The Lord" and can explain exactly why Obama's not a socialist and you'll understand why I'm a very lonely old man.

Ape Shiat Nuts:None of these are as bad as the costumes when I was a kid: a plastic mask of some cartoon character (held on one's face by the thinnest, weakest rubber band known to man) and a plastic smock displaying a picture and the name of said cartoon character.

Ape Shiat Nuts:None of these are as bad as the costumes when I was a kid: a plastic mask of some cartoon character (held on one's face by the thinnest, weakest rubber band known to man) and a plastic smock displaying a picture and the name of said cartoon character.

Halloween is the one time of year I truly love and appreciate children.

Not even Halloween will do that for me.

Ome problem with OK Cupid is 99.99% of the available women over 40 -- the ones not likely to call me "pedophile" for writing to them -- have kids & often grandkids. And I hate children too much to fake it or even tolerate their screechy precence. (Does that make me a pedoPHOBE?) Add that to being a professional lunatic who does not accept "The Lord" and can explain exactly why Obama's not a socialist and you'll understand why I'm a very lonely old man.

Dollar Store costumes are the best. A few years ago I wired 6 or 7 off-brand Barbie dolls to an old suit, and super-glued toy picks and shovels in their hands. When people asked what I was supposed to be, I'd shrug and say "I don't know, but chicks are digging me."

Halloween GOLD.

Two years ago I used eight baby dolls from the Dollar store, took a blanket and fashioned a huge sling, and shoved all the babies into the sling, some upside down, just totally scattered. Long black wig, overdone lips and I was the Octomom. I made it into my kid's yearbook with that costume.

Last year, got a dress jacket and pants from Goodwill, ordered some blue contact lenses, kept my eyes REAL wide and mad-looking, made a bunch of campaign pins and went as Michelle Bachmann. Tip to both costumes was to be in character the entire time. Last year's was the best. One guy I passed on the street saw that I was carrying a trick-or-treat pumpkin and asked if I had any candy in there. I said yes, but I wasn't about to give any to him because he had to earn his own. He stared at me blankly and I said, "It's so great to finally meet someone from the 99%."

Not sure what's on tap for this year. Thinking Psy--powder blue jacket with black duct tape edging, short black wig and dark glasses. Add some piped music, do a little dance...done.