Soccer report: Zlatan Ibrahimovic has become larger than life in France

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AP

Paris Saint Germain's (PSG) Zlatan Ibrahimovic of Sweden, kicks a high ball during their French League One soccer match against Evian, Saturday, Dec. 8, 2012, in Parc des Princes stadium, in Paris, France.

On the weekend that Lionel Messi broke the world
record for goals in a calendar year, Zlatan Ibrahimovic was far from the
spotlight. One goal from close range, one assist and a 4-0 victory for Paris
Saint-Germain over Evian — you know, tedious stuff. It could not have been a
happy day for the big Swede.

The hat trick he scored Tuesday in another 4-0 PSG win, this one over
Valenciennes, was more like it for a man who lives for the sensational.

Ibrahimovic is a comic book superhero come to life, a genuine martial artist
with outsized features and an ego to match. He doesn’t pile on the goals at
Messi’s pace, but the ones he does score can be spectacular — none more so than
his audacious 30-yard bicycle kick against England last month.

If we think of them as forces of nature, the 5-7 Messi is a stretch of
roiling rapids, churning his way through defenses with sudden bursts and deft
touches. The 6-5 Ibrahimovic is more like a tornado — awesome, dynamic,
unpredictable, sometimes doing little damage but other times leaving devastation
in his wake.

Months into his first season in France, the 31-year-old striker has already
made a massive impact. When he moved from AC Milan to Paris Saint-Germain last
July on a $25 million transfer, he was merely the latest megastar on a club
loaded with high-priced talent. Though second-place PSG hasn’t been as dominant
as expected, Ibrahimovic has come through with a league-best 17 goals — more
than half of the club’s 17-game Ligue 1 total.

“I don’t know a lot about French players,” Ibrahimovic said when he joined
PSG. “For sure, they know who I am.”

The French don’t seem to know what to make of Ibrahimovic. Some have howled
in outrage at his salary — reported to be as much as $18 million after taxes, in
a country in the midst of an economic crisis. But for fans and critics alike,
he’s irresistible.

A website, zlatanfacts.fr, has sprouted up to catalog amazing untruths about
the man (“Lance Armstrong never dared inject himself with the blood of Zlatan.
His body couldn’t have coped with it.”).

Some actual Zlatan facts are crazy enough:

Last season ended Ibrahimovic’s streak of eight league
titles in eight years at five clubs (Ajax, Juventus, Inter Milan, Barcelona and
AC Milan) — never mind that Juventus was later stripped of the two championships
he won there.

His autobiography I Am Zlatan has sold more than 500,000 copies in his native
Sweden, a nation of 9 million.

At AC Milan, he had what he called a “life and death”
fight with 6-4 U.S. defender Oguchi Onyewu, who left him with a broken rib. The
thing is, they were teammates at the time.

It’s fitting that one French TV show plays the Darth Vader theme whenever it
reports on Ibrahimovic.

On the country’s popular satirical comedy show Les Guignols de l’info (The News Puppets), Ibrahimovic has
his own latex look-alike — one who eats horse heads and speaks of himself only
in the third person. In one sketch, the puppet introduced a cologne, Eau de
Zlatan, “made from concentrated Zlatan sweat.” If you “zlatan yourself” with the
fragrance, “everyone will respect you. You’ll no longer need to queue at the
post office.”

In 2003, early in his pro career, Ibrahimovic trademarked “Zlatan” and
“Zlatan Ibrahimovic.” Now his first name has become a French verb: “zlataner,”
to overpower or subdue. “Les Verts Zlatanent Paris” read the headline in the
sports daily L’Equipe when Saint-Etienne — known as “les Verts,” or the
Greens — defeated PSG last month.

Less than two weeks later, England got zlataned in Stockholm. Ibrahimovic
scored all four goals in Sweden’s 4-0 exhibition rout, and the last was the most
talked-about soccer moment of the year. Showing off his skills as a taekwondo
black belt, Ibrahimovic rose with his back to the goal and struck an overhead
shot that looped in the net.

“Zlatan against children” is how Swedish teammate Tobias Sana summed up the
evening.

Ibrahimovic had often been reminded of his poor goal-scoring record against
English opposition, prompting him to warn in 2010, “Wait and see. I will show
you.” For Zlatan the tornado, retribution — like everything else about the man —
came in a Category 5 package.

‘Euro for Europe’

Big news last week as the site of the 2020 European Championship was
announced. It will be held in Europe.

The 24-team, 51-match tournament will be a true continental championship,
with games spread across multiple nations. UEFA is scheduled to decide how many
cities and countries will stage the extravaganza by the spring of 2014.

Gianni Infantino, general secretary of European soccer’s governing body,
called the format a “Euro for Europe” and the fulfillment of a wish by UEFA
president Michel Platini, who floated the idea in June.

France is hosting the 2016 tournament. The 2024 host will be chosen in a
traditional bidding contest.

Match-fixing update

Napoli went on trial for match-fixing Monday and could
be docked points after former goalkeeper Matteo Gianello confessed to arranging
the result of a 2010 game against Sampdoria. Current Napoli captain Paolo
Cannavaro and defender Gianluca Grava were also on trial in front of the Italian
football federation’s disciplinary committee for allegedly failing to report the
fix. Federation prosecutor Stefano Palazzi requested a one-point penalty and a
100,000 euro ($129,000) fine for Napoli, which is in third place in Serie A,
five points behind leader Juventus.

Philemon Setshedi, former coach of South Africa’s
national team, was convicted Friday of trying to fix a league promotion playoff
game in 2011. His sentencing hearings begin in February.

Unrest in Manchester

Nine men were charged in connection with fan unrest at the end of Manchester
United’s 3-2 victory Sunday at archrival Manchester City.

Among the men charged Monday were a fan who ran onto the field to confront
United defender Rio Ferdinand, who had been bloodied by a coin hurled from the
stands following Robin van Persie’s winning goal.

Officers said another fan who was heard shouting racial insults at Etihad
Stadium will also go to court. And on Tuesday, a 15-year-old boy was arresting
for allegedly sending a racist tweet to Ferdinand, who is black.

The week past

English League Cup quarterfinals: at Bradford City 1, Arsenal 1
(Bradford City advanced on PKs, 3-2) — Fielding a nearly full-strength
team, Arsenal made a shocking exit Tuesday against a club from England’s fourth
division. Pressure is building on coach Arsene Wenger, whose slumping Gunners
are a disappointing seventh in the Premier League.

German Bundesliga: Bayern Munich 2, at Augsburg 0 — It’s not
even Christmas, and the Bundesliga title race may be over. Bayern has an
11-point lead, having dropped only seven points all season, after top
challengers Bayer Leverkusen and Borussia Dortmund lost over the weekend.
Dortmund, the defending champion, went unbeaten in the first round of the
European Champions League yet is 14 points off the pace in Germany following a
3-2 home loss to Wolfsburg.

Italian Serie A: Juventus 1, at Palermo 0 — Coach Antonio
Conte made a winning return to the Juventus sideline after serving a four-month
ban for failing to report match-fixing, as Siena’s coach two seasons ago.
Juventus leads Serie A by four points over Inter Milan, which beat Napoli, 3-1,
to move into second place.

The week ahead

Club World Cup semifinals: Chelsea vs. Monterrey (Thursday) —
Chelsea’s Fernando Torres has gone from famine to feast, putting together a pair
of two-goal games last week after failing to score in his previous five starts.
He’ll try to keep it going in Yokohama, Japan, as European champion Chelsea
begins play in FIFA’s annual matchup of confederation title-holders. Cesar
Delgado scored twice Sunday as Monterrey defeated South Korea’s Ulsan Hyundai,
3-1, in the quarterfinals. Chelsea and Copa Libertadores champion Corinthians of
Brazil were seeded into the semifinals. Corinthians and Egypt’s Al-Ahly were set
to play Wednesday in the other semifinal. The final is Sunday in
Yokohama.

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