Odd Fictions & Other Lies

Novels & Collections

Artefactum

Sam and Una are a match made in hell.

Their lifestyle combination of minor alcoholism and sexual deviancy forces them to live on the fringes of polite society and in relative social obscurity. This all only intensifies when they one day discover that Una’s statue of the Aboriginal goddess, Julunggul, somehow allows them to travel to the alternate realities she holds dominion over. As a goddess of sex, this means they can now manifest all of their perverse sexual fantasies into reality.

As Sam and Una are basking in their own depravity, they suddenly find their lives changed for the worse. Sam soon learns to use an arsenal of religious objects crafted throughout all of human history to journey into the strange realities of fear, dream, and even into the primordial void. And as he travels deeper and deeper down this spiraling well of alternate realities, Sam begins to realize that the multiverse might be manipulating him in ways that he could never imagine.

I am currently shopping Artefactum to Literary Agents and so it is unavailable for purchase. Sorry!

A Kind of Drug

The first Addicts used Rapture. Then came Lust. Later there was Delirium. These, among many others, were the finest & purest drugs that mankind had ever known. But not just drugs. Words. A written language that served as the most addictive narcotic to anyone who read the strange, Moroccan symbols.

But as the world was still adjusting to this peculiar, new drug, Despair came along. A Word so horrible, no one ever made it to their second dose. Billions of people slaughtered their families and committed suicide, all from just reading a tiny scrape of paper.

Now, miserable and alone, the last Sober man on earth travels across a deranged country and over a silent ocean in order to avenge the world he hated, yet he may learn to accept. Equal parts vulgar and hilarious, this is his story of Words and of what they mean for humanity.

Originally serialized online between February 2010 and September 2012, A Kind of Drug was released only 6 pages at a time, once a week, for 19 months. It has since been edited and collected into a single volume that is roughly 150k words in length.

A Study in Bourbon

This collection of not-so-short stories (because I’m a wordy motherfucker) contains 6 tales of woe and sorrow. Though only a little woe and sorrow and mostly just dick jokes and death. The six stories included are:

Apocrypha

Fuck You, Stephenie Meyer

Fuck You, J.E. Tobal

A Single Sentence – Buddha the Destroyer

A Single Sentence – The Three Weddings of Galilee

A Single Sentence – The Tenth Crusade

The collection also contains anecdotal notes about the stories that make me seem even more infantile than I already am.