Under the Dome Season 2 Episode 5 – TV Review

She did not leave the CW for this shit.

Phil might be a crummy sheriff, but will he have better luck as a knife-wielding villain?

No.

TL;DR Big Jim uses Phil to try to discredit Julia as a town leader; it fails, but he gets pardoned from his culling charges, anyway; Sam is trying to kill the four hands of the mini-dome because he thinks it will bring the big dome down; Melanie causes more teenage relationship drama for Joe and Norrie; Pauline’s prophecies are getting out of hand.

When they send your brother on a child-murdering death spree, maybe you should reconsider your “art,” honey.

The central plot thread this episode is a dull affair that sees Julia taking charge of Chester’s Mill by leading a voluntary food sharing program. Not happy that he’s both locked up and shut out, Big Jim convinces Phil and some goons to blow up the store house (incognito, of course) so the people lose faith in Julia’s leadership. Carolyn (as you can see above) finds out, and Barbie shuts things down. Instead of doing the sensible thing and wheeling the gallows back out, Julia simply forgives Big Jim (and Rebecca) and lets them loose upon society once more. Thanks? Meanwhile, Joe and Norrie try to see if Melanie touching the dome will reveal anything else about her. When it fails, she pashes Joe, which Norrie isn’t a huge fan of. Meanwhile, Sam has the missing pages from Pauline’s diary. He leads Junior on a wild goose chase after Lyle, and the missing pages connote that if the Four Hands can’t hold the dome up, then the dome will fall. They take this to mean that if the Four Hands die, then the dome will go away. Sam, obviously having murdered Angie, sets his sights on Junior (who thinks that Lyle is the killer), but can’t bring himself to do it. The episode ends as Junior, Sam, and Rebecca (who was at the school testing Melanie’s blood) find the back of the mystery locker now missing, and a subterranean tunnel in its place.

Also, the food shortage problem is solved randomly and with zero effort by a nobody townsperson. Golly gosh, all that will-we-or-won’t-we-cull drama was for nothing. What a surprise.

Under the Dome: making the hard decisions.

Why I hate this episode:

What the hell, Julia and Barbie? You haven’t got any solid proof that Big Jim ordered the bombing of the food drive, but come on. You’ve already got him in jail for trying to poison the town. I can understand hesitation to officially charge him with the bombing conspiracy, but you didn’t have to go and pardon him for the cull, too. I suppose Under the Dome realised that having Big Jim locked up meant that we’d have to put up with the other characters, and decided that wasn’t a good thing.

The teenage jealousy bullshit with Norrie, Joe, and Melanie is garbage. It’s not necessary. And it’s handled unbelievably stupidly. Norrie is understandably pissed off that Melanie’s moving in on her shit, but Joe and Melanie don’t seem to find anything wrong with it. Good god. I know I complained last episode that Norrie’s jealousy was misplaced because she hadn’t know Joe for very long, either, but I didn’t expect Under the Dome to be this fickle with their relationship. No matter how young it is. In other words, I don’t know what I want, but I know it isn’t this.

Sam is hardass enough to axe murder the fuck out of Angie, but he can’t bring himself to relatively mercifully suffocate Junior while he’s blackout drunk. Get your consistency together, bro.

Barbie and Julia ask Norrie, Joe, and Melanie to stay out of trouble while they sort shit out this episode. So they immediately run off into the woods and go fondling the dome. Bloody teenagers.

Rebecca, lord of culling and death, is traumatised when Phil shoots dead a gun wielding maniac at her and Big Jim’s arraignment. What happened to you, bitch? You could have been the new villain. This town deserves something ever so slightly more original than our archetypal big fish/small pond, corrupt politician. But then, I should know better than to expect originality in Under the Dome right? Right.

On principle, Big Jim’s plan of using a faulty generator to explain the food drive explosion then having Phil proclaim to the townsfolk that this is proof of Julia’s incompetence is pretty retarded. The people would have to accept that Julia should have inspected a power generator in a building that other people are supposed to maintain is operational, and then blame her for its failure while also overlooking the good she was trying to do, and the fact that they all gave their food voluntarily. And worse, of course, is that they do.

The food crisis is solved when Julia pays a visit to the woman who Big Jim has put in charge of managing the diner. Having noticed the diner is always well stocked, Julia is like “What gives, bitch?” So the woman shows off a colossal reserve of food that her late husband, an avid survivalist/prepper, had stockpiled. Way to have your main characters’ hard work pay off by gifting them something that weren’t even looking for. Is Lena Dunham writing this?

Oh, and to add yet another tired notch to the “arbitrary but major discovery” belt, Sam laments his lack of killer instict by throwing a glass at the wall in Junior and Big Jim’s house. It just happens to knock a hung painting of Pauline’s, and just happens to make it apparent that there is another painting underneath, which turns out to be the big clue that leads them to finding the locker tunnel. Fucking really?

But it’s not all bad:

Julia and Barbie have finally stopped bitching at each other, so there’s that.

Joe tries to patch up his relationship with Norrie by dropping a swift “ILY” on her, but she’s like “Nuh” and fucks him off. Good for her. There aren’t any other teenage boys around, but I’m sure Melanie’s up for a snog.

I’m totally on board for Sam murdering the Four Hands. As long as he pulls his fucking socks up and gets it done. Also, I can’t wait for Junior to find out Sam killed Angie. Junior is already intent on fucking up Lyle. Hopefully he doesn’t share his uncle’s lack of conviction.

Sam is upset that Pauline kept Lyle in the loop about being alive, but didn’t tell him. I lol’d.

Phil is removed as sheriff and replaced with Barbie. Talk about an upgrade.

Phil shows some level of badassery when he takes Carolyn hostage. Until Barbie stomps the douche.

Half the townsfolk believe Julia’s assertion that Big Jim tried to cull them, while half remain loyal to Big Jim. So there is hope left for these dullards, I suppose.

Rebecca confirms to Julia that Barbie did indeed not consent to the flu plan for the cull. Big Jim was just stirring shit last episode. Good.

Oh, and Joe’s ability to pull chicks is kind of impressive. The little scamp.

Just because she’s been dead for 25 years doesn’t mean she’s stopped aging. You know, vampire rules.