Previously on Santorum Slashfic, Ricky learned a valuable lesson about online dating. This week, Ricky tries to make sense of the latest crisis to hit the Romney campaign. Please check your gently used copies of 50 Shades of Grey at the door, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today, Rick Santorum takes a bath, because he is a dirty boy!

One of my favorite things in the world is anti-fandom, and has been since I was small. Discovering this term two years ago was a revelation, and pretty much legitimized the previous 26 years of my life. I could finally call that thing I’d always done an actual name! Suddenly I felt like people, or something a lot like it.

tl;dr I love love love hating things, not even in a hateful way but with genuine aplomb and enthusiasm. It would therefore stand to reason that I’d have a deranged soft spot for Presidential election cycles, which are basically just studies in anti-fandom and trollish fuckery. 2012 has already been a watershed year, and I assure you will only get weirder.

It was in this spirit that I decided to start writing election-themed slashfic, because why not. I’ll cross-post some of my favorites here, but will be publishing the bulk of my e-LOL-ction coverage on Modern Primate. My first story will run tomorrow, but for now enjoy the following prefatory blurb I’ll be attaching to all my entries, mostly to ensure that no one gets sued. IT’S CALLED ARTISTIC FREEDOM YOU GUYS.

So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today’s adventure stars homophobic folk hero and human-lizard hybrid Rick Santorum, whose insatiable appetite for chocolaty goodness knows no earthly bounds. Bottoms up!