Thursday, September 15, 2011

Laugh for a happier life!-#2

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.While waiting, they begin to wonder.....Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

This is the first time anyone has asked." Let me go find out," and he leaves.When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter says, "I don't know.This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple is still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to getmarried in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.

"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled."Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground!

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest up here!

Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a LAWYER!===========================================================

Hilarious emails for women, and wives only.

Nothing too serious here, just silly fun. I guess you can let the occasional male read one or two of these, but let's keep the bond between women strong and light-hearted!

Email Subject: A gardening storyA teenage granddaughter came downstairs for her date, wearing a see-through blouse but no bra.

Her grandmother saw and pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager told her, "Loosen up, Grams. These are modern times. You've gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager came downstairs, and the grandmother was sitting there with no top on.

The teenage granddaughter freaked. She shrieked to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...

The grandmother said, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Will and Guy's Joke of the Day #144

Some of these you will have heard before, one or two may irritiate, but we hope at least one will make you chuckle.

1) Did you know that....?

More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath once a year.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.

The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.

The only two nations whose name begins with an "A," but doesn't end in an "A," are Afghanistan and Azerbaijan.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

2) Why?

Why are boxing rings square?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++