Monday, March 07, 2011

Carlos Irwin Estevez better known to the world as Charlie Sheen, a man who has a star on the Walk of Fame, has been a household name since his early appearances in such '80's movies as Red Dawn, Platoon and Wall Street. In the '90's he took on more questionable roles in Navy SEALs, The Rookie and The Three Musketeers but mastered comedy as Topper Harley in the Hot Shots! movies. At the turn of the century Sheen stepped onto the small screen and won an Emmy when he replaced Michael J. Fox on Spin City before becoming the highest paid actor on television on Two and a Half Men.

Sheen has never been presumed to be a saint. He has shot Kelly Preston, has dated porn stars, has OD'd on cocaine and had such a bitter divorce with Denise Richards that he made Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger look like a happily married couple. However recently things have taken a such a turn for the worst and despite my declaration that I'd no longer pay attention to celebrity gossip after wasting so much time on Paris Hilton and Tom Sizemore, I really feel it's necessary to address the worlds newest "Warlock" Charlie Sheen because it appears he has now completely lost it.

A couple of weeks ago, CBS shut down production on Two and a Half Men so Sheen could attend rehab after making headlines with a particularly out-of-control party, but Sheen was having none of it and said in an open letter:

What does this say about Haim Levine [show creator Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows ... I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.

Remember these are my people ... not yours...we will continue on together...

..and yes, you read all that right. Later Sheen challenged Lorre to a fight and "if he wins, then he can leave MY show." He said he entered at-home rehab and that he is "100 percent" clean. "Here is your first pee test," he said to radio host Alex Jones, adding the "next one goes in your mouth. No, you won't get high." Sheen also spoke out against Alcoholics Anonymous calling them a "bootleg cult" with a success rate of 5 percent. "I am special and I will never be one of you... I have a disease? Bulls***. I cured it ... with my mind."

"Duh, winning! It's, like, guys, IMDB right there, 62 movies and a ton of success. I mean, c'mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn't even trying. I wasn't even warm."

On Good Morning America, Sheen called his life: "perfect. It's awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books,” he said. “We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view."

Sheen wasn't happy that none off his sitcom co-stars spoke up to defend him and added: "I'm not trying to embarrass you or ruin your jobs or ruin the show. It would be nice if there was some measure of support though -- from anybody. Anybody. That's all right. Every great movement begins with one man and I guess that's me."

It's little wonder that at that point Sheen’s longtime publicist Stan Rosenfield had enough and quit. "I have worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and I care about him very much,” Rosenfield told Us Weekly. “However, at this time, I’m unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned.”

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

His father Martin Sheen told the media that he was praying for him and asked all this friends whom his son would listen to, to to help him but some sage advice came from the possibly equally mentally disturbed actor Gary Busey: "Charlie's got to understand what the truth is. The beautiful thing about the truth is that it requires no questions." While it's just as insane as Sheen's rambling and about as useful to him as a handle on a snowball; let it not be misunderstood how bad things are when Gary Busey is offering you advice.

On drugs, Charlie Sheen said: "I just don't do it. I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren't special. People who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. The last time I took drugs I probably took more that anyone could survive. I was banging seven gram rocks because that’s how I roll, I have one speed, go. I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs.”

What I love about Charlie "the Machine" Sheen is that Warner bros only fired him....last night!!! it took this long to do it....this mess has been going on since Christmas 2009 when he assaulted his wife...and it's only yesterday they decide "yeah enoughs enough" What makes me angry that looking at that first photo Sheen's been obviously reading the Colonels blackflagged Autobiography and been using quotes without the colonels permission...how low can the man...or warlock go?

I know how Sheen feels. From this moment forward, I too will stop pretending I am not a total rock star who is not CRUSHING IT! every day. You know Rob Lowe's character in Parks and Recreation? That's me.

It is Mr. Haim who has passed on. And Mr. Feldman's public tweet was a bit odd, yet I haven't found it in the time I was willing to look for it. I did however see that Mr. Feldman further tweeted his outrage at the Academy for not memorializing Haim's death at the most recent award ceremony.

STAR WARS: Force For Change Founding Member

About Me

Years of being dropped on the head as a child has led me to believe that I'm a U.S. Marine General, a senior officer of a UN unit dedicated to defending the planet from things that the world doesn't believe exist. My spiritual beliefs are those formed from the work of George Lucas whom I consider to be a deity. Politically, I'm a right-wing authoritarian and believe diplomacy is achieved by those with the bigger gun. I enjoy listening to scores from movies and TV, watching action, military and sci-fi movies and television, playing 3D shooters and RPGs on the PC, reading comic-books and I adore the impressive sound of my own voice. I recorded 2IGTV; an award-nominated Podcast with my friend Mark centred on news from the world of popular culture which ran for 64 Episodes between '05 and '09. As an actor I've appeared in two major Irish short films and the pilot of a web-series. I've something to say about almost everything and you've made the wise choice of coming here to benefit from my vast wisdom, knowledge and ego - enjoy!

THE GENERAL'S RATINGS

No Star: The greatest load of shit ever, no redeeming qualities. It's creators are blacklisted and will be shot on sight if they don't redeem themselves before I meet them. Seriously - Dear God why?

1 Star (*): Awful crap. A complete waste of time. Should not have been made.

1.5 Stars (*1/2): Bad movie. I'm not happy about having paid to see this.

2 Stars (**): Dissapointing. Not that good at all except for perhaps a few select scenes or elements. I'll choose not to see this again.

2.5 Stars (**1/2): Glad I saw it, but ultimately not good enough. I won't turn it off if it appears on TV, but I'll have it on while doing something else, just to wait for the cool bit I remember.

3 Stars (***): Meh! Middle of the road movie. Balance between love and hated. May watch this on TV years later / may not.

3.5 Stars (***1/2): Enjoyable, but I would need to see it again, possibly on TV before I would purchase it.

4 Stars (****): Extreamly good. I would prefer to watch this again on Blu Ray a year or two on rather than see it on TV, but...

4.5 Stars (****1/2): Several minor flaws but not enough to distract you from excellence. Most likely will be added to my BD collection.

5 Stars (*****): An outstanding work of art. Practically Flawless. To be added to my BD collection.

5 Star Plus (*****+): One of the finest examples of it's genre.
Flawless. Automatically becomes part of my BD collection upon release.

EXEMPTION GRANTED: To be granted an exemption, a movie has literally to be amongst the greatest movies of all time. Examples include Robocop (1987), The Matrix (1999), Mission Impossible 2 (2000), Transformers (2007) and Iron Man 2 (2010). For religious purposes it is accepted that all Star Wars movies are exempt by default and cannot be reviewed.

Brigadier General Creedon is a Class-1 Nutter, he is not affiliated with a recognised news service, an officer of the US Marine Corps, a member of the organised Jedi Order or has ever slept with Scarlett Johannson. The General's Medal Of Honor is made of painted lead and bits of copper.

"If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own!" -Scoop Nisker