Sunday, March 7, 2010

Completely Pointless and Predictable Oscar Nominations

So, I had planned to do this much earlier, but I've been without the Internet for a couple of days due to a mix of continuous waiting for my new ADSL2 connection to kick in, pre-paid internet running out and big vicious storms here in Melbourne meaning turning on the computer was a big no-no. Now it's Sunday evening and I cannot be entirely bothered. I'm totally psyched for the awards tomorrow - live from 12.30pm, repeated later (but probably edited just like last year when the screenplay categories were dumped! - and will be live-tweeting over on my Twitter page (obviously) if you would like my hilarious*, unique^ and excessive** minute-by-minute observations.

Anywhere, here are my predictions in completely un-spectacular style.

BEST PICTUREWill Win: The Hurt LockerAlternate: AvatarMy Vote: An Education or Precious, depending on the mood of the day.

BEST ACTRESSWill Win: Sandra Bullock, The Blind SideAlternate: Gabourey Sidibe, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by SapphireMy Vote: Gabourey Sidibe or Carey Mulligan, depending on the mood of the day.

I do think this is between Sandra and Gabourey rather than Sandra and Meryl, but there ya go. How anyone can watch Gabby's "nobody love me" scene and vote for either Bullock or Streep is just absurd.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESSWill Win: Mo'Nique, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by SapphireAlternate: HAHAHAH YOU ARE VERY FUNNY FOR SUGGESTING THIS, GLENN!My Vote: Mo'Nique, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire

Obviously this could go either way, but I think they err on the side of fame. Plus, maybe they'll see Mark Boal is a nominated producer and that he gets a statue if it wins Best Picture so, perhaps, they won't vote for him here? Nah. Whatever. I just really wanna see Tarantino on that stage with another trophy in his hand.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAYWill Win: Jason Reitman and that dude who didn't do much on the screenplay, Up in the AirAlternate: Geoffrey Fletcher, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by SapphireMy Vote: Nick Hornby, An Education

I'll be first in line to admit that despite liking The Hurt Locker a lot, I am at a loss to explain how The Hurt Locker is even nominated let alone a likely victory. Sure, my understanding of the technical nuances of cinematography are no greater than most people's, but I didn't exactly see anything that screamed out amazing, classic, iconic lensing. Hmmm. Was there a single frame in that movie that was as evocative an image as the stunning images of The White Ribbon or as instantly iconic as almost any shot for Melanie Laurant in Bastards, or as craft boundary pushing as Avatar?

I'm going with Coco because autopilot voters might very well tick the vote for it because "hey, it's about Coco Chanel so there must be good costumes, right?" when they haven't seen any of the contenders (and judging by the grosses for the nominees - Nine is the highest grosser at not even $20mil) I think it's a fair guess to say people will be voting on this category without having seen all the contenders. Having said that, I do fully expect Victoria to win (I just refuse to predict as lazily as the Academy votes) and it will the least surprising victory of the decade (outside of the acting categories).

BEST MAKEUPWill Win: Star TrekAlternate: The Young VictoriaMy Vote: The Young Victoria

Another autopilot vote. Yawn. Call me when people realise that Up is derivative of all over Pixar titles and isn't fit to shine the (Louis Vuitton) shoes of Fantastic Mr Fox. That goes for the score. Giacchino should've won for Ratatouille and should've been nominated this year for Star Trek. They got it all backwards! He's like the Dion Beebe of Original Score.

For shame Adam Shankman. A year that could have delivered instantly memorable original song performances - Marion Cotillard, Jeff Bridges/Colin Farrel, Anika Noni Rose!!! - and the performances are scrapped. But as long as Taylor Lautner gets his ugly mug on the screen, I guess that's okay. /sarcasm.

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