Heh. I guess you can tell by the title of this post that this is going to be one long icky rant huh. Don’t worry. It’s going to be icky, but I’ll try my best not to make it long. Promise. :P

Lemme just say, before anything else, that I’m blogging this in behalf of my roommates, Aster and Ivy, who are fortunate enough *gag* to get front seats to this quarter-life drama that my life is. Tell me, what could be better (or worse? haha) than spending your 24th year of existence with two ladies who understand what you’re going through because they’re experiencing the same crisis? :)

That being said, there was no need for explanations amongst the three of us when we took our seats inside the cinema of Shangrila Mall for a last full show of One More Chance. No need for explanations when Aster took out her box of tissue and started sniffing. Or when Ivy started making fun of the actors in an attempt to keep the tough act (haha!). Or when I started tapping my feet restlessly because I hated the thought that I could relate to what was happening on screen.

Call it cliche, or jologs, or whatever, but it actually felt weird watching something vaguely familiar. I’m not really a fan of tagalog movies but I’m quite impressed how they managed to capture real-life break-up drama in a made-up story. Of course everything was a haze. Five years worth of ups and downs in a relationship jammed in 20 minutes. Months of sleepless nights and torturous mornings summed up in 2 or 3 scenes. Moving on, adjusting back to being single with a little help from your friends, and getting a new job, all in 30 minutes. Two years of moving away to “find yourself”, fastforwarded to 2 minutes. In real life, it’s more agonizing and longer than that.

The ultimate truth of the matter is, experiencing a break-up is probably one of the most (if not TEH most) liberating, life-altering experience in the world. While it’s mostly painful, it’s an opportunity to get to know yourself a bit more and to acknowledge what you’re worth. It’s the kind of experience you’d want to go back to when you need something to draw strength from, or when you have a friend who needs to be comforted.

Take it from someone who experienced something like it. I’m not an expert at all, just like Aster, or Ivy.. just like the rest of you. Break-ups are real. It happens, but it’s not the end of the world.

Years after you experienced that heartbreak, just like the movies, it’s easier to look back and say it wasn’t that long after all. You’re able to focus on more important things (career, family, friends, yourself), and just when you know you’re ready to love again, someone comes along who’s ready to love you more than anyone has ever loved you before (hey, say cheese). I’m sure you’ll agree when I say nothing beats knowing that the things that happened in the past ultimately brought you where you’re supposed to be. No more regrets.

Life is funny that way. It’s sometimes mushy, sometimes predictable, oftentimes agonizing — it’s a series of ups and downs — but it’s worth living just the same.

My Dad would have turned 58 last November 9. I refrained from blogging or writing anything that day because I didn’t want to be too emotional. Besides, my family and I had a fun time together celebrating his birthday over dinner, I didn’t want to ruin it by being the crybaby that I am. :)

Then again, I guess there’s really no way I could avoid missing him and wiping tears off my eyes once in a while. No way I could stop thinking of a lifetime ahead of me without him to share it with.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m happy. We‘re happy. Happy that he’s not battling anymore with cardiomyopathy. Happy knowing that he’s not experiencing any more pain. Happy knowing that he’s happy where he is now.

It just so happened that I was watching Grey’s Anatomy Season 4‘s 5th episode Haunt You Everyday, on the day the whole country’s celebrating All Soul’s Day — the first one where I actually have a Dad (who passed away) to remember.

I’m loving George O’Malley’s character in Season 4. Anyway, this is, if not the most, one of the most moving speech in the episode for me.

I dont have kids, so i dont know how its like to lose a child but i do know how its like to lose a parent. Your daughter loved you, i saw her this morning, she was fighting for you. She’s fighting for your life. You’re her dad. You’re her dad, she won’t leave you, I know that. I also know that she would want you to have her heart. I would have given my dad my heart if i could.If I could have saved him, I would have given him my heart. ~ George

I felt what George said. I would have given mine to my Dad too, if I had the chance. But okay, let’s save the drama for a later post.

That is, if I get the courage to write one. Sigh.

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