Six Nations 2017: Scotland hero Iain Milne tells all about his depression, boozing and binge eating

Says recovering Scot: 'If I'd had a gun handy, I would probably have taken my life. I could see no other way out'

By GEOFF SWEET

8th February 2017, 8:02 pm

Updated: 8th February 2017, 8:03 pm

SCOTLAND hero Iain Milne has lifted the lid on the depression that almost led him to commit suicide.

The man known as The Bear for his immense imposing presence on the field struggled desperately to cope with life off it.

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Scotland legend Iain Milne - won the 1984 Grand Slam - has revealed all about his battle with depression

Things got so bad that the giant forward recalls: "If I'd had a gun handy, I would probably have taken my life," he says. "I could see no other way out of depression..."

Milne, now 60, was a hero of Scotland’s Grand Slam-winning team of 1984. Life couldn't have been better but soon it rapidly went downhill and the giant tight-head prop still can't put a finger on when his downfall started.

In an emotional interview with the Daily Mail, Milne explains: "At one stage, I was pretty close to suicide.

"It would have been too much of an effort for me to commit suicide in another manner other than shooting myself as I felt so low I couldn’t function.

"Sometimes, I couldn’t even get out of bed.

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Milne in action against Wales on the way to Scotland's 1984 Grand Slam triumph

"I had all the friends in the world, but I still felt so lonely, so isolated. Because of the 1984 Grand Slam, people still came up to me in the street, but even talking to them at times, I felt so detached.

"I would be in my flat and get even lonelier. I had plenty of things to live for, but thought I didn’t. I had a son, friends and fantastic support from my rugby pals like Finlay Calder, John Rutherford and Jim Aitken, but I still came very close to ending my own life.

"I used to burst into tears on my own. It is frightening looking back, but depression hit me hard and I could see no other way out."

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Milne, capped 44 times, is fighting back now but his demons contributed to the break-up of his marriage, the loss of his job along with mega boozing sessions and bouts of binge eating.

As a player he tipped the scales at around 18 stone...after a back injury - and plenty of comfort snacks - he was well over 25 stone. Now he is trying to lose weight for charity and to raise awareness of how depression can strike anybody.

He readily admits he simply didn't cope well with depression and tried to carry on as if if he were fine. But, deep down, he knew he was in trouble.

Says Milne: ‘There were times when I was on my own and I would sit in my flat day after day. Then, when I did go out, I would try and get a high through booze, eating whatever. It was a temporary fix.

He would be in a good mood only to turn into the 'loneliest person in a room full of people'.

Eventually his brother Kenny, who played in Scotland’s 1990 Grand Slam team, and his wife took him in. ‘They understood what it was like for me to have depression and they helped me so much," he says.
Milne is now back in his own flat in Edinburgh. And after realising his weight was getting out of control he decided to shed 100lbs for charity by September.
He adds: "By making a public declaration and committing funds to two charities I respect — The Prince’s Trust and The Bill McLaren Foundation — I feel I am in a place where I can take on this challenge and succeed.

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Finlay Calder was also a great help to Milne

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