May 31, 2008

I HATE GIRL CLOTHES

I know I am so absolutely going to have a girl...because I cannot stand baby clothes for girls. I am all about trucks and baseballs and turtles. I hate the flowers and butterflies.

My mother and I took a trip through the baby section today, and it's slim pickin's for a girl, especially if you don't want her to look like a tramp. Yes, even baby clothes are following this trend. I noted the following sayings on girl clothes 3-6 months today:

Princess
Angel
Diva
Spoiled Rotten
Princess With Attitude
Bling Bling

Yes, that's right: Bling Bling. On a shirt covered in diamonds and dollar signs. I mean, why don't we just go ahead and buy her the Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset and be done with it?

Ugh. I'm so having a girl.

She will wear baseballs and puppies for the first year. With one of those scrunchie bands around her head so people can tell she's a girl.

1
Our favorite shirt for sprout is a dark green tshirt with a plaid skull and crossbones on the front. It's very, very hard to find cool clothes for girls. This summer I've stuck with plain tank tops and plain shorts... but yes, the look you describe is what I call "hooker chic".
Although, depending on the font and cut of the clothing, I don't have a problem with "princess" or "angel". Unless it's on panties. I don't think little girls should have words on their panties. That's something new I've discovered since having my stepdaughter here this summer.
Ugh.
Please don't curse her with the scrunchie band, though. Just let them think she's a boy. It'll be better for her in the end.

2
I am so getting you baby clothes from here:
http://www.sourpussclothing.com/
These folks were my neighbors in NJ for 7 years. Maybe a little punky for some people's taste but I like it.
I agree, no scrunchies, or those stupid hairbands with bows on them.
Khaki, Red, Navy and White look good on girls too.
Are you going to find out ahead or be surprised?

3
it can be a challenge to find something that is simple for a girl. zutano clothes, though a little pricey, offer a blend of patterns and have boyish items that do not scream BOY. they wash well and are worth it. i purchased a lot of them, mainly hitting sales or ebay, for my daughter up until age 2. she is almost 4 now and can still wear some of their fleece pants and jackets that are made for 18-24 months.
happy hunting!!!

Posted by: Mel at May 31, 2008 12:28 PM (lt+5K)

4
I got a real laugh at that. I can see it now...
Daddy's little princess in a tutu!! Whatever it is the clothes are going to be cute. You just have to be selective. Not everybody buys the slut look. Specially for their boys.

Posted by: Ruth H at May 31, 2008 12:55 PM (w9ltj)

5
At least, as a knitter, you can knit her something that doesn't have a butterfly, or flowers, or say "Spoiled Rotten".
This probably will be frowned upon by at least one of your relatives/friends, but there's no real reason a baby girl can't wear boy clothes. The only real consequence is that strangers will say "what a handsome baby boy!" instead of "what a darling baby girl!"

6
Lol! We don't do anything with writing on it either as a general rule, but I'm not entirely opposed to flowers and butterflies either. I find more and more that I shop online though, because even for my 2yr old the clothes at the big box stores are often too "grown up" for my taste. I like Zutano as someone suggested, and I love Hanna Andersson, they have some decent sales as their regular prices give me sticker shock. You might try Boden too. Good stuff is out there, you just have to do some looking.

7
Oh, just go to the PX and buy a bunch of the camouflage onesies. After all, girls are Army, too!
And instead of the scrunchy bands, you could always to little camo do-rags... Our blond wore do-rags for the first three years of her life because her head was so round the scrunchies slipped off it and she was bald.
I saw a onesie I really liked, though. I'm getting the older kid shirts for my kids. It said, "Plays with Pit Bulls."
Whaddaya think?

Posted by: airforcewife at May 31, 2008 04:10 PM (mIbWn)

8
I forgot to add... I could help you stitch some ruffles on the butt of the camo onesies if you need me too...

Posted by: airforcewife at May 31, 2008 04:12 PM (mIbWn)

9
I didn't want girls -- don't really like girls, the clothes, the screaming, the nail polish -- and ended up with 3 of 'em. But guess what? They're cool girls. And yeah, super girly, too. But it turns out ok. You'll see!
I hate writing on clothes, too, but Target usually always has el cheapo t-shirts and shorts, cute dresses and things that aren't too nasty-ho.

Posted by: Allison at May 31, 2008 04:59 PM (Gm5x2)

10
OH! And another thing! You soooo do NOT have to TAPE a bow to a bald head to prove femininity.... Or pierce tiny baby ears...

Posted by: Allison at May 31, 2008 05:06 PM (Gm5x2)

11
sarah - I am with you. I have 2 girls. I cant shop at alot of stores - shorts too short, too much mess on tshirts, etc. I get alot from Target or LandsEnd. Also there are alot of shops online that have "cute" stuff. (I do think you are having a girl based on that heart beat.)

Posted by: keri at June 01, 2008 04:24 AM (HXpRG)

12
Second to Landsend,etc. Even BabyGap has some
cute things that aren't too 'tramp in training'.
I am not a fan of those velcro hair bow things
either. I say hats. Little hats. Protects their
little scalps and eyes in the sun and keeps them
warm in the winter.
I see all of these Moms at the park,they are
wearing hats and sunglasses and yet their poor
babies and toddlers are squinting and looking
miserable.
I was too overcome to say it before but to you
and your DH - CONGRATULATIONS!

Posted by: MaryIndiana at June 01, 2008 05:35 AM (PEFLo)

13
Ooh, hats! I forgot those! And no matter what you dress your child in, whether it's a pink tutu and bows in the hair, there will be ignorant fools who say "Isn't he handsome!?" I swear, I could have hung a sign on my son that said, "I AM A BOY" and people would have cooed over how beautiful "she" was.
I also forgot to say that I was completely terrified of having a daughter. I'm still not entirely sure what to do with her, but she guides me. I swore, SWORE I would never make her wear headbands, even when she had hair and was older, because I remember them pinching and scraping my head as a kid. Then one day we were walking through Kohl's, she walked right up to the headband display, grabbed a loose one and stuck it on her head. Like she knew what she was doing. It was the only thing she wouldn't rip off her head for weeks. Luckily, she likes to play in the dirt and chase bugs, too. That, I can understand.

14
It's VERY hard to find suitable, non-hoochie, non-too-girlie things for girls.
I've always found cute things at Osh Kosh & Carter's for the wee ones. When they hit closer to 4T, it becomes more of a challenge. Usually successful with Land's End, Talbot's for Kids, and sometimes even JCPenney will have mixie-matchie clothes in the big, bold colors acceptable to Ms. M2 who is very anti-bows & bare midriffs.
I hate, hate, HATE sequins and glitter and all that jazz and it's EVERYWHERE.

Posted by: Guard Wife at June 01, 2008 09:58 AM (fwy0X)

15
My daughters did not wear pink and fru fru stuff until they started having an opinion. Now almost everything is pink or purple. I am amazed they like the colors even though I never had them around.
Navy, red, blue, teal, and yellows were our colors of choice.
I shopped at resale stores, Wal-Mart, and Old Navy.

16
Target is definitely the place to go:
http://www.target.com/b/ref=in_br_browse-box/601-6456105-7670539?ie=UTF8&node=1041982
http://www.target.com/Newborn-Girls-Circo-Smocked-Dress/dp/B0013UY91W/qid=1212450115/ref=br_1_12/601-6456105-7670539?ie=UTF8&node=16280511&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1
http://www.target.com/DWELL-LAYETTE-TUNIC-DRESS-LEGGINGS/dp/B000XQ5QAA/qid=1212450115/ref=br_1_11/601-6456105-7670539?ie=UTF8&node=16280511&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1
How can you resist? http://www.target.com/DWELL-LAYETTE-PINK-KIMONO-SLEEPER/dp/B000XQ5QAU/qid=1212450115/ref=br_1_16/601-6456105-7670539?ie=UTF8&node=16280511&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1
http://www.target.com/Newborn-Genuine-Kids-OshKosh-Matching/dp/B0014T888W/qid=1212450115/ref=br_1_6/601-6456105-7670539?ie=UTF8&node=16280511&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

May 30, 2008

More frequently than not, military families lean conservative because, they figure, the conservatives like pouring billions of taxpayer dollars into the military industrial complex without any sense of accountability for how those dollars are spent.

Did you know that when you join the military, you have to decide whether you're conservative or liberal? Most people decide to become conservative.

Yes, I just love all the unaccountability in the Army. It's my favorite part. I love when they pump senseless dollars into stupid ideas. That's why I'm a conservative!

Thank goodness I decided to join the party that throws money down a hole. Not like those pesky Democrats, who are completely accountable for every dollar they spend.

Yay, Republicans! Now let's see if we can get the cost of the Iraq war to equal the cost of public education! Take that, liberals!

May 29, 2008

"Are you nervous?" my mother asked as we drove to the hospital this morning. "No," I said, "I just want to know the answer either way." I was prepared for both answers; I just wanted one of them.

When we finally got situated, which felt like it took forever, the nurse pulled up the ultrasound on a big screen.

"This is the gestational sac, where the baby lives," the nurse said. My mother got giddy and clapped her hands together like a little girl. "Hold your horses," I said wryly. "We had one of those last time, but there was nothing in it."

"This is the yolk sac, which will provide nourishment to the baby until the placenta forms," she continued.

"And this right here, this little grain of rice that's half a centimeter long, this is your baby." She zoomed in, and like magic we saw a rapidly beating heart. "That's the heart, right?" I cautiously asked.

It was. Beating 160 beats per minute. Going to town.

Everything looks good for where we're supposed to be. And happily, this is further than we got the last time.

I was kind of stunned. And so was my husband when I told him. He expected to be comforting me while I cried today; instead, I told him to get ready for his first Father's Day.

I was disappointed when she turned off the machine and made me go home; I could've watched that heartbeat all day long.

A visible heartbeat could be seen and detectable by pulsed doppler ultrasound by about 6 weeks and is usually clearly depictable by 7 weeks. If this is observed, the probability of a continued pregnancy is better than 95 percent.

We still have a ways to go before we're out of the woods, but this is a heck of a good start.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Now that this is off my shoulders, I can get back to our regularly scheduled programming of ranting about 20 year old movies and dating advice on MSN.

1
Alleluia! and Congratulations!
I can't tell you how thrilled I am for you.
Sandi

Posted by: Sandi at May 29, 2008 11:00 AM (PzeGZ)

2
Goosebumps and tears over here for you, Sarah. I'm SO happy to hear that. I have been thinking about you all day long. I hope things continue to go well and will keep you and your baby in my thoughts and prayers.

8
YAY!!!!!!
I'm freakin' cryin' over here! I've been praying for you guys! I'm so happy to hear about a strong heartbeat. So happy for you.
And we'll continue to send love and prayers. Congratulations!

10
*huge* exhale . . . so so SO happy to read this news!!! I am terribly happy you had family with you. And what a fantastic treat to be able to offer your husband the opposite of his expectations. Wishing you the absolute best in your pregnancy!!!
Hoping for no more scary uncertainties and just the pleasure of the experience!
YEAH!

11
You bet I checked your blog today
all i could think, as i skimmed to the good news, was HOLY SHIT!! ok, now that i have fouled your page.... happy belated mother's day and i'm so glad that you got to practice with emma. send those pics to your husband so that he can insert imagined picture of his own baby.

Posted by: Kate at May 29, 2008 12:12 PM (576n8)

12
I was holding my breath as I read your post ... WOW! What great news! Best wishes and prayers will continue. Happy belated Mother's Day!!!!!

17
What wonderful news for you and your family! Enjoy your pregnancy and take everything one day at a time!

Posted by: Mel at May 29, 2008 01:46 PM (n2yah)

18
What wonderful news! I'm sending an email with a link for you to look at photos of our 50th anniversary bash. Our kids gave us a big barbeque with a dance band at our home this past weekend.
Someday your kids will do the same. On you post of who looks like who, I almost commented that I cannot imagine loving someone and not wanting to have a little piece of them for the ages. I look at my kids and siblings and wonder "how long has that look or expression been around?"
Cheers and happy prayers for you, husband and baby. It takes a lot of prayers and 9 months to make a baby and probably 99 years to raise them!

Posted by: Ruth H at May 29, 2008 01:58 PM (w9ltj)

19
Tears flowing for you!!! I could watch the heartbeat for ever and ever, too.
I am so very relieved. One little step at a time!

20
Long time reader, first time commenting. Congrats. What a wonderful feeling!! I've been checking your blog like a psycho today. Kick those feet up and start knitting your baby something! Very happy for you and your hubby.

22
My continued prayers will be yours. I understand your hesitancy, having been there myself before, and I understand the joy of seeing that little heartbeat! One thing I can suggest...once you get to the point where you can hear the heartbeat via doppler get one of those that you can rent! It will save you moments of fear! I look forward to seeing more about this pregnancy in the future. Blessings to you and your little grain of rice, which will soon be a little apple, then banana, and before you know it, a full grown baby!

Posted by: stacy at May 29, 2008 02:58 PM (sH2lU)

23
Yippee! Our continued best to you guys.
Knitting...I tried that once. I made the prettiest knot you've ever seen.

29
I'm telling you that I purposely didn't check your blog until I couldn't stand it. My laptop is old and I have to delete temp internet files or your updated pages (from the last time I looked) won't load. At first I thought, "Oh, she didn't post." Then I deleted the temp files and I saw the new title up there. And, like everyone else (BUT REALLY, I DID), held my breath and couldn't read fast enough.
Well, I burst into wild sobbing tears. A little over-reaction? Nope. I soooo know how you feel.
YAY!!!

35
I'm so thrilled for you!! I, too, couldn't wait to check in today to find out the news. More prayers for a happy healthy pregnancy. I burst into tears the first time I heard my baby's heartbeat. I really wasn't expecting that kind of reaction from myself, but it blew me away! And just wait til you feel that baby kick for the first time--it's awesome!

Posted by: MargeinMI at May 30, 2008 04:14 AM (/ULtS)

36
Holy cow.... Sarah!!!!!!!!
You're gonna be a MOMMY!!!!!!
I remember seeing that little blip-blip-blip of my babies heartbeats, at it is nothing short of a life-altering event.
Congratulations!! I honestly wasn't expecting such good-no, not good... WONDERFUL news. Needless to say, I'm thrilled and totally excited for you!

42
Listening to the heartbeat.... all that talk reminds me that many years ago, before ultrasound, we listened to the heartbeat of our third child by using our sound system hooked up to a microphone. This was when we still had tubes in our sound systems and radios for heaven's sake!! I need to tell that to my younger son, he thinks because he was unexpected he may have been unwanted. No, we were thrilled enough to listen to his heartbeat more that once.

Posted by: Ruth H at May 30, 2008 07:35 AM (w9ltj)

43
I'm crying!
But it's nice to be crying at my desk at work because of something happy for a change.

45
What a relief! I've been waiting and wondering ten days. I assumed you wouldn't post yesterday, but you did, and with good news, to boot! 95%! Wow! Still a long way to go, and hopefully a lifetime of parenting ahead! The adventure continues!

46
Been reading your site for a while now and congrats. I agree with at least one other poster...rent the baby doppler. Not only is it reassuring to hear the heartbeat...it's just a lot of fun to hear the baby move around!

48
I've followed you on Spousebuzz, and through lots of different blogs read some of your posts here....
I'm so delighted to read this. I will be praying for you, for your husband, and for your little baby.

May 28, 2008

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

I'm home from my vacation. I head to the hospital in the morning for an ultrasound to hopefully get an idea of what's going on. Tomorrow morning, something will happen that will drastically change my life, either for better or for worse.

I can't help but think that my life feels like a Choose Your Own Adventure right now.

In one storyline, we find out that the baby is dead. We have to figure out what to do next. Maybe I have to have another D&C. I'll have to find someone to go with me to the hospital if I do. And then I have to wait months to not be pregnant again. And then perhaps continue with the fertility treatments as planned. Or not, depending on whether this second failed pregnancy is another fluke or a symptom of a bigger problem. I see months of looming questions.

In the other storyline, we see a heartbeat tomorrow morning and realize all seems to be going well, despite the odds. I get excited. I take photos of myself getting bigger and fatter to send to my husband in Iraq. I write letters about kicking and ultrasounds. I sweat it out at the end of the pregnancy, hoping my husband will make it home before the baby arrives. And he returns to a new family and a lot of happiness.

I have already lived both scenarios in my mind over the past few days, and I think I've already felt all the possible emotions. I lie in bed and feel my heart racing when I start to think about it too much. One of these things is going to happen to me tomorrow.

I just don't know which one.

And honestly, the scariest thought is that something in between will happen. They won't be able to tell. The ultrasound won't be conclusive. We'll have to wait another week to know for sure. The agony of unknowing will drag on.

I don't know when I'll tell you the results. As usual, I want my husband to know before I put it on the internet, which means waiting for him to be able to contact me from Iraq. Don't call me tomorrow, because I won't answer the phone until I've talked to my husband.

One of these adventures is going to be my own tomorrow.
Sadly, I don't get much of a choice in the matter.

2
thinking of you...i logged on here to see what (if anything) i could learn before your big day tomorrow. you probably already know that about a kazillion people are also in agony waiting to know what happens at the end/beginning of your adventure tomorrow...

5
I will be talking with the Big Guy a lot tomorrow. I also hope you're able to talk to your husband as early & as much as you'd like tomorrow. {{Hugs}} You know I'm here.

Posted by: Guard Wife at May 28, 2008 05:24 PM (BslEQ)

6
I've been thinking about you too. I've had that "find out what's going on" sonogram and it is a tough situation to be in. I'll continue to send you good thoughts, and let us know the outcome when you're ready.

9
No matter what happens tomorrow, you will be ok. Be strong, breathe deeply and realize there's a passal of people who will be holding you in their thoughts in the morning.
(The same people will be hoping that your husband calls immediately after you find out your news so that you can share it with us as soon as you get home!
)

22
I don't think I've ever commented here before, but I've been reading along for ages. I feel so much for you - having lived that experience in my own way - for my own period of time. I won't bore you with details or outcomes since they are irrelevant to your current struggle. I just wanted to offer the support of my prayers for you and your hubby. I feel your pain, and I hope in the near future to be feeling your unadulterated joy with you too!!!!

May 24, 2008

MEMORIAL DAY

My father is the oldest of 13 children, so this weekend there are 42 of us together for my grandparents' 60th anniversary. And when you have that many family members, the gene pool is big enough that you can trace family resemblances across generations and branches of the family tree. Naturally one of the favorite games is to figure out who the young kids look the most like.

This evening all of us were in church together, lining the pews in family order. I was looking around at everyone, noticing how much my little 6 year old cousin looks like the old black and white photos of my father, noticing how much the back of my uncle's head looks like my little brother's, noticing which kid looks like his mom and which like his dad. And all of a sudden, my thoughts turned to the baby inside me.

Consciously or subconsciously, I have put the baby out of my mind. I convinced myself that there was nothing to be happy about and nothing to get my hopes up for. With all the excitement of 42 people in the house, I have not thought about the baby at all, not felt pregnant, not thought myself pregnant.

But in the quiet of church, as I looked at all these kids who look like their parents and aunts and uncles, I suddenly wanted a baby that looks like my husband. And like a flash, I remembered that a baby is inside of me now. And I wanted it to be alive so badly.

I started weeping silently in church.

Luckily my mother handed me a kleenex. And extra-luckily, the kleenex had a chewed up piece of gum in it. That made me giggle and helped me calm down.

She said, "He really missed the family, being home on Christmas Day
And he died for God and country in a place so far away
I remember just a little boy, playing war since he was three
And Lord this time I know, he's not coming home to me."

My thoughts turned to Debey and her Gunnar, and I realized how stupidly selfish I was feeling. I was spending my Memorial Day service feeling sorry for myself. It was the reality check I needed. I stopped my silly crying and focused my thoughts to where they belong this weekend, to Gunnar and Sean and all the others like them who deserve to be memorialized.

1
Those 4 lines made me cry so hard it actually hurt a little to read the words.
And don't think you aren't honoring them. A life is a life, and it sounds like you really appreciated the possibility of new life created by you and your husband. That's reasonable. Honor our fallen, honor those serving, honor those served. But also be excited for yourself, and don't deny your own natural feelings.
I cried for you too, because the way you described your desire to be pregnant is so... raw and beautiful. It's wonderful and I am truely hopeful and happy for you.

2
Cut yourself a little slack, love. You're in a really hard place. And you're a wonderful citizen, wife, and military spouse. We're all allowed a little bit of pain and frustration in our own situations all while being compassionate and serving.
blessings and heart-felt thoughts all around,
Lane

5
Hey- I just wanted to say I love your blog... I came across it while googling something else, yet I understand the humor and the sadness... I grok Schrodinger's Cat as well as Jonah Goldberg (and I even grok 'grok')(I love Heinlein).
Also, I am praying for you and your husband. I am a mid-20's male with plenty of Corp. friends (even a few in the *shudder* Army). I know what its like to miss a friend... maybe not a husband, but my friends have wives/fiances that miss them as you do your man. My prayers are with him!
Keep up the posting!

Posted by: Joe at May 26, 2008 05:09 PM (PqQwO)

6
I'm so glad you're back--I thought about you a BUNCH while you were away & missed you!
Your stream of consciousness sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I'm glad you were able to be with your family over the weekend. Gum in Kleenex is the universal "Oh! I DO have a Kleenex in my purse!" moment.

Posted by: Guard Wife at May 27, 2008 08:15 AM (BslEQ)

7
My grandparents are celebrating their 60th anniversary this year, too. We're going to have a big reunion in August.
Thanks for the touching post!

May 22, 2008

GRRR

Dear Husband,

Something is fishy with my grandma's internet. Every time I try to email you, it gets an "internal error" and shuts down. So I can't write to you, but you could write to me. I can still read email, just not send it.

I hope you read this. I am at my grandma's house on her dial-up, but every time I try to send you an email, the computer gets an "internal error" and kicks me off the internet. So I can't write to you, but if you write to me, I can read emails. Just not write them. I don't get it either.

May 21, 2008

INITIATING RADIO SILENCE

I am heading to my grandparents' for the long weekend. I am leaving my warm weather and heading north. Too north. I am also leaving my internet connection, so I doubt there will be much posting for the next week. Hopefully there will at least be sustained contact with the husband.

1
I am leaving my warm weather and heading north. Too north.
Hey, I resemble that remark. We here in Upstate NY are being told that its gonna be a Golden Gram weekend with appearances of the sun and warm (well, its all relative)temps.
If youre around southeast Seneca Lake, drop by. Well be the ones with the American & U.S.M.C. flags flying high, fishing poles in one hand and beers in the other.
Have a good time.

May 20, 2008

A SIGH OF RELIEF

For the longest time, Notes From the Olive Garden was missing in cyberspace. I could read that thing a hundred times and still want to read it again. I missed it. There was a gap in the internet that hurt my heart.

So I've been in season finale heaven this week, with all sorts of major characters dying and stuff. It's been a wild ride, and letters to my husband have been filled with synopses of shows because I'm a dork like that.

But I watched the finale of House, and what was the deal with the extremely conspicuous Obama bumper sticker on the hospital bathroom wall? How out of place and jarring was that? I mean, come on with the agenda.

Reveal how much your car cost.
-- In my husband's case, it would be how little his car cost, since he prides himself in small car payments. And also how low the mileage is: we have a six-year-old car with 45,000 miles on it.

Clean your gun.
-- Not even. This is hot. You should definitely do this in front of me.

Polish high school trophies (which you still have displayed).
-- OK, this one is lame. But how many people are doing this? Oh wait, hang on, I fall into this category. I still proudly display an award I received when I ran high school track because it was an award for the person who put out the most effort despite being handicapped by a natural inability to run fast. I worked my tail off on that track to be good, and I had no God-given talent to rely on. That award is important to me. If my husband had something like that, you can darn well believe that I'd let him keep it and polish it whenever he wanted to.

Refer to your mother as your best friend.
-- Isn't it a good thing for a guy to love his mother?

Rap.
-- My husband doesn't do this really, but sometimes he does quote rap songs as if he's quoting Mark Twain or Socrates, and it is hilarious when he does it.

Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter.
-- The last time my husband came home from Iraq, he had spent 13 months without seeing a woman. (He was on an all-male combat arms FOB.) He stared like crazy when he got home, not out of disrespect for me but because it was such a novelty. It didn't bother me in the least.

Question our footwear.
-- I've had my husband question my footwear. You know, when I was wearing inappropriate footwear. He's no dummy; he knows that cute little sandals are gonna hurt like hell after lots of walking.

Blow-dry your hair.
-- High and tight. No need for this one. I think my dad blow dries his hair in the winter sometimes. I dare anyone to say my dad isn't manly enough.

Tip less than 20 percent.
-- My husband is fine in this department. I'm the one who's Mr. Pink.

Celebrity impressions.
-- His Cartman and Slingblade make me laugh.

Impressions of us.
-- So does his impression of me. I sound an awful lot like Glenn Beck's wife, and it makes me crack up. Gosh, I wish I could hear him do it now.

Forget to carry cash.
-- What a dumb addition to this list.

Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction.
-- Weird.

Wii.
-- He doesn't have one. He has an old PS2 and old games from 2002, because he made a pimp decision.

Boot and rally.
-- I have no idea what this means.

Screamat the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at Bill Belichick. Because, no matter how much Belichick deserves it (cheater!), when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for.
-- My husband does have a tendency to shout at the TV, but I'm getting used to it. And if that's his only fault, then I can live with it.

Talk about former exploits. Ever.
-- Not a problem in our house.

Use the words bitch, slut, tramp, or whore, unless referring to another man.
-- He uses them when they're approproately funny. Sometimes about women. Deal with it.

Tell us you're going to kiss us. (Just get on with it!)
-- Had to throw in something cutesy there, right? Just to offset all the carping, bitchy other things you put in the rest of the list.

I thought I'd try, in Rachel Lucas fashion, to come up with a list of things women shouldn't do in front of men. But the whole concept is just dumb. Let men be men and women be women. If you like hanging out together, then you like the whole package. Why on earth do you want to be with a man who is reprogrammed to act like a woman? There is not a thing I can think of that my husband can't do in front of me, farting included. And there is not a thing he can say to his buddies that he can't say in front of me. Because I love him and I love everything about him. He doesn't need to hide part of his personality so I will stay with him.

2
Sarah...
I love pimp decisions. I do. But I really want a Wii....
BTW CAT williams is coming here like next week....
I am not going, because I have already seen all of his stuff on TV.
so I suppose that is a pimp decision. I will save my Cat Williams $$$ and put it in a Wii account?

3
Okay, I do ask farting be done in another room, because... well, my husband could kill puppies with that stuff. AWFUL!
I'm with you on the gun cleaning, though! Yummy...

Posted by: airforcewife at May 20, 2008 08:33 AM (mIbWn)

4
I just thought it was the Dumbest. List. Ever.
What raised my ire the most in fact was the mother comment. My own mother gave me the advice that if a man doesn't love and respect his mother chances are he won't like and respect women in general. While I know this is not true 100% of the time (some folks sadly do get hosed in the parent dept.) I still think it's a good call most of the time. Doesn't make a man a wuss to love his mom.
The rest I just thought was a bunch of stupid arbitrary rules that women make up for guys to follow.

5
I'm with you on these. Heck, if my husband did *not* do half the stuff on these lists I'd question my judgment. Finally, in the past year, my husband has been able to change his description from "my computer costs more than my car."

I almost passed this off as not worth my time, but I can't let it go. I read this dumb list of 18 things a grown man shouldn't have. Most of them I can agree with and my husband doesn't do. Some are things I actually do, like quote The Big Lebowski. But the kicker is the beer one: "Any beer that costs less than $20 a case."

First of all, part of being a grown up is realizing what you like and not buying something more expensive just so you can look cool. My husband doesn't have to drink with the label out, so he buys what he likes or he buys what's on sale. And he takes the money he saved that way and invests it in his retirement fund. That is definitely one thing a grown man should have.

Second of all, time and time again blind taste tests show that people don't know their favorite beer from a hole in the ground.

In addition to saying which beers they preferred, the tasters were asked to estimate whether the beers were expensive or not--in effect, to judge whether other people would like and be impressed by the beers. One taster perfectly understood the intention of this measure when he said, in comments about Beer B (Heineken), "I don't like it, but I bet it's what the snobs buy."

And doing something just because you think it's socially acceptable or because you think others will regard you highly for it, that is not at all something a grown man should do.

A grown man is comfortable in his own skin. He will drink Pabst in public.

1
yikes what about nattie bo? now thats some wicked stuff. personally i find it cheaper just to avoid beer all together. why waste that much money on something that just leaves you feeling crappy the next day. now coca cola... that i will splurge on.

May 19, 2008

YEESH

I've had several people from my high school find my site, but that's because they were googling something local that I had written about. But only twice, as far as I know, have people from my real life found me by coincidence via other blogs. The first time was right when I started blogging, when a friend found me via LT Smash (hi, Oda Mae!) And today, my husband's former ROTC instructor found me via FbL's post at Castle Argghhh and realized he just might know this Sarah in real life.

So the first time he comes here, what is there to see? Lots of baby posts, an ode to buttons, an Emily Dickinson poem, and a liveblog of Rambo, for pete's sake. How embarrassing.

I really need to get some higher quality stuff up here pronto.

I promise, I wrote about Machiavelli over at SpouseBUZZ the other day. I'm not a complete mommyblogger moron who looks at shiny buttons all day long.

5
Not too many French/Swedish speaking Sarahs who have a husband in the Army who was Finance, branch detailed Armor then decided to go Civil Affairs who recently returned from Vilseck Germany. I was pretty safe, but it makes you realize how small the Army community really is.

Greyhawk has a good post about how two-faced the Democrats are. Senator Harkin flipped out four years ago because Bush/Cheney didn't have enough military experience and John Kerry did, but now that the Republican nominee has way more military experience than the Dem candidates, now Harkin says that too much military service is a bad thing.

For heaven's sake. Someone needs to remind these people that teh internets keep copies of their old statements.

1
Well, clearly you need to have Goldilocks military service...not too much and not too little. And you shouldn't take it too seriously; it's just something you have to do to get votes from the yokels, when you run for office.
(sarc mode OFF)

2
They speak like this now, but if Obama chooses Clark or (horrors!) McPeak as a running mate, it will be all about how important a military career is - a career where someone is a GENERAL and in LEADERSHIP which TRAINS THEM for the future.
Unlike being a "relatively safe" POW for over 5 years. (Yes, someone did say that exact phrase to me).

Posted by: airforcewife at May 19, 2008 07:24 AM (mIbWn)

3
Hmmm...Clark. Isn't he the guy who nearly bombed the good guys during Kosovo? Yeah. That's what I thought. Real brain trust, that one.

"What it says is that I'm not very well known in that part of the country," Obama said. "Sen. Clinton, I think, is much better known, coming from a nearby state of Arkansas. So it's not surprising that she would have an advantage in some of those states in the middle."

No, this is not a made-up quote from The Onion. He actually believes this, apparently. Problem is, a quick glance at a U.S. map reveals that Illinois actually borders Kentucky and is clearly closer than Arkansas. Illinois is also closer to West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Ohio. Obama has been scaring me with these frankly Bushian statements for months, and this one is a whooper.

One quick quibble: Obama is from Chicago, not Illinois. To anyone from that state, that distinction is obvious. Chicago doesn't border Kentucky, so why on earth would he care if the southern rednecky part of Illinois touched rednecky Kentucky? Come on, Kentucky is way more like Arkansas than Chicago. Everyone knows this, right? That's where all the bitter gun nuts and Jesus freaks are. Saying so isn't elitist or condescending at all.

2
Yeah, when I first read that comment, I had flashbacks of his wonderful ode to most Americans in San Francisco (you know, us regular folk). I just can't understand why he doesn't see that how transparent he is...

May 18, 2008

LEARNING THE WRONG LESSON

I heard a joke the other day. It seems that Bush and the Pope were fishing when the Pope's hat flew off. One of the secret service agents was getting ready to dive into the water to retrieve the hat when Bush stopped him. Bush calmly got out of the boat, walked on the water and retrieved the Pope's hat. The Pope was inpressed. The next day's headline in the NYT was "Bush Can't Swim."

Remember when they ran this headline: "As violence falls in Iraq, cemetery workers feel the pinch"? Now that's spin. There's something remarkable about being able to take something so positive and twist it into a negative.

There is a feeling among some of McCains fellow veterans that his break with them on Iraq can be traced, at least partly, to his markedly different experience in Vietnam. McCains comrades in the Senate will not talk about this publicly. They are wary of seeming to denigrate McCains service, marked by his legendary endurance in a Hanoi prison camp, when in fact they remain, to this day, in awe of it. And yet in private discussions with friends and colleagues, some of them have pointed out that McCain, who was shot down and captured in 1967, spent the worst and most costly years of the war sealed away, both from the rice paddies of Indochina and from the outside world. During those years, McCain did not share the disillusioning and morally jarring experiences of soldiers like Kerry, Webb and Hagel, who found themselves unable to recognize their enemy in the confusion of the jungle; he never underwent the conversion that caused Kerry, for one, to toss away some of his war decorations during a protest at the Capitol. Whatever anger McCain felt remained focused on his captors, not on his own superiors back in Washington.

McCain doesn't understand Vietnam because he spent the whole time being beaten and locked up in a tiger cage instead of celebrating Christmas in Cambodia with a magical hat.

You have to be effing kidding me.

Not all of McCains fellow veterans subscribe to the theory [...] But some suspect that whatever lesson McCain took away from his time in Vietnam, it was not the one that stayed with his colleagues who were in country during those years  that some wars simply cant be won on the battlefield, no matter how long you fight them, no matter how many soldiers you send there to die.

Oh gosh, John McCain learned the wrong things in Vietnam. See, we all had this life changing experience that was supposed to make us hate war and hate the US. But John McCain won't play by the rules. He was too busy being locked up with people who took their oaths seriously, who bolstered each other and knew that their countrymen were looking for them and would rescue them someday. He was too busy refusing the Vietcong's offer to release him. And he was too busy saluting the flag, a makeshift flag that Mike Christian sewed out of handkerchiefs, despite the massive beating he got for doing it.

Poor John McCain...he learned to love his country during Vietnam instead of hating it.

May 17, 2008

UPDATE

I posted yesterday at 4:15; the nurse finally ended up calling me at, no joke, 4:29.
The news is bad.
Bad enough that I have to go to the emergency clinic on Sunday to get tested again.
Bad enough that she told me to expect bleeding at any time.
We could use a miracle right about now.

7
Well, at least they got in touch with you, there's that. Miracles do happen and yours will, if not today, one day. I'm sure of it.
I won't regale you with tales of friends who have lost how many babies, how many miscarriages, that doesn't matter; this is you, this is now; and all your internet friends are praying for you and feeling your hurt, dismay, anger, angst, whatever you are feeling. I'm pretty sure if we could all join hands and surround you with a circle of love we would. So consider it done in spirit.

Posted by: Ruth H at May 17, 2008 10:18 AM (w9ltj)

8
Thinking of you. Sending positive, good health vibes your way.
You really are in my thoughts... even though we've never met. Isn't technology an awesome thing?
Praying for you.

9
Sarah,
God bless you and keep you in the palm of his hand. I've been reading your blog for several years and I just want you to know that you've got people keepin you in their thoughts and prayers.
Chadd Newman
St Pete, FL

1
Oh, that sucks! how miserable for you. don't they have saturday office hours? See, what I would do, is drive down there before they close and pound on the door. but since it's friday, they probably closed early...
I'm sorry you are having to go through this.
LAW

Posted by: liberal army wife at May 16, 2008 11:23 AM (tqDBA)

2
That is just unacceptable.
Do they have any kind of after hours number, like to reach someone on call? They may not be able to tell you anything but you could sure give them a piece of your mind.
I'm so sorry you have a weekend of unknown ahead of you.

3
I agree that it is just wrong that they are not there to give you answers today, to continue to make you feel the way you do over the weekend with not even a "we don't have anything yet"
I wish there was something I could say to ease your weary mind, but there isn't....I will keep you and your little one in my prayers.
~ASW

5
Someone would be on the wrong end of a can of whoop @rse, that is for certain!!!
I would definitely document these things, put them in writing (it will give you something to occupy yourself for 10 minutes or so) and then make sure the doctor at that clinic gets it. Whomever is in charge; copies to all.
Ridiculous.
Seriously.
I'm so, so, SO sorry.
I love you. And, I seriously will get in the car and drive down there to holler at someone if you'd like...I could throw around words like breach of duty and infliction of emotional distress not to mentioin the highly technical term of art "you SUCK!!!!"

8
What!?
that's not right! They MUST have weekend hours, they're a fertility clinic, right? They're open all kinds of odd hours usually. I pray that you get the info you need and ease your mind soon. (((hugs)))
I've been there... waiting for those damn hormone values... ugh, brings back tough memories.
They should be trembling, knowing that Guard Wife will be on their @rse now!

9
Good thing I don't live close to you. They don't want me gettin' on their case. Me and my sisters can really do some stirring up when things aren't done right for those we care for (or anyone else for that matter) all I can say for them is "I better not have to stop this car!! There has to be a patient advocate around that clinic somewhere, you need to get them to intervene on your behalf. There has to be a Saturday number. I am so sorry you are going through this, but I am still thinking positive for you.

Posted by: Ruth H at May 16, 2008 06:45 PM (w9ltj)

10
What is the deal with this clinic? Is it attached to the military? If it is not, and you are able to pick a different one, please do. They will not get better. In my first OB's clinic I had nurses who were completely fucking clueless. I got a new doctor, one whose NP was awesome when she did my exams.
Good luck. I am sorry for the outlook of your weekend. Call any on-call number you can.

11
wow you would think that someone would be around to call back patients... even on a saturday. im amazed at the lack of care and concern.
i say go pound down the door or allow some of the gracious women above to do so!

I have to wait until noon again to get my bloodwork done. I hear the clock ticking in the silent house and I can't concentrate on anything else.

Will the numbers be high enough? Will they not? I thought I could handle another dead baby, since I've done it once before, but until yesterday I didn't realize just how devastating that would feel again.

I don't feel pregnant this morning. I feel like my body has already given up.

Last night I went out and bought baby clothes, just to try to feel normal.

I am going to the hospital and then I'm not coming home. My dear friend has invited Charlie and me to spend the night at her family's house. A sleepover of sorts. It seems so silly, but she insisted that I not be alone.

1
I am so glad that Claire is there. I really wanted to insist that you buy a plane ticket and come out here for a while and visit Erin and me.
My heart is with you. Please call anytime if you want to talk.

2
I'm kind of jealous that you're sleeping with someone other than me, BUT I'm glad you have someone nearby to hang out with.
I'm crossing all kinds of things & sending up prayers that all will be well.
I wish I could be there to hold your hand and give you a gigundous hug.
You have my number.

Posted by: Guard Wife at May 16, 2008 07:51 AM (20Lnu)

3
Hot Fuzz is a good one.
And you know - if you need anything you just have to tell me...
If the nurse gives you any more crap today, I'd be more than happy to drive down and pop her a good one in the nose.

Posted by: airforcewife at May 16, 2008 07:54 AM (mIbWn)

4
I am hoping for good things for you. keeping my fingers and toes crossed.
LAW

Posted by: liberal army wife at May 16, 2008 08:39 AM (tqDBA)

5
Loss for words...
many prayers this morning, I have lifted the 3 of you up on many...
You know where I am...
Wish I was closer...

6
I'm hoping for the best for you. Even though you won't be home I hope you'll let us know how it goes (they WILL get you the results TODAY, won't they?)
I think nurses sometimes forget what it's like to be a patient (or just don't care. Which is worse.)
And, I've done that before too. Going out & buying baby clothes. I guess I thought it would help. (help me feel better, or the baby "want" to stay, I'm not sure)
Good Luck.

Search Thingy

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While our troops go out to defend our country, it is incumbent upon us to make the country worth defending.--Deskmerc--

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