§ Our Motto

'If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides, is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point.?--Martin Luther

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Retraction: ESPN Was Drunk Last Night!

By “X”

Here at Really Right we strive to always be really right and that is why I am issuing a partial retraction from my commentary last night regarding Robert Lee and ESPN. Our attempt at satire was met with something called truth; a member of ESPN actually was drunk last night, correction this morning at 3:30 AM. That’s right folks, self-righteous and everyone’s favorite “bro” Ryen Rusillo was arrested this morning (Tuesday) at 3:30 AM in Teton County, Wyoming. I would try to explain his criminal trespassing, but here let’s have the police report describe it, (police dept. dispatched to an intoxicated male trespasser)

Two people were asleep in the condo when they heard someone come in. They didn’t know the man and asked him to leave because he was drunk, according to reports. Police arrived a few minutes later.

“Occupants pointed the suspect out who was found in a bedroom,” Jackson Police Lt. Roger Schultz said.

Russillo, of West Hartford, Connecticut, reportedly had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech.

“He couldn’t coherently answer any questions,” Schultz said.

“Officers found the defendant, later identified as Ryen August Russillo, lying on the bed in the south bedroom naked except for his pants around his ankles,” the probable cause affidavit states.

Ummm… I was very wild in my college, young adult and even later in life days, but never did I get so wasted I tried to sleep in a stranger’s condo’s extra bedroom. Rusillo was lucky to survive the mass layoffs at ESPN earlier in the year; this makes the network look very bad, mostly because he has alcohol abuse in his past. Full disclosure—he was on vacation, but for someone who comes off more righteous than anyone else on his radio show I have a feeling he may be terminated soon. Rusillo is the second most liberal radio host on ESPN, and this could be an opening to show the network isn’t too liberal. Yeah, much like the CRA won’t take Park to court; ESPN aint going to fire Russillo. But I reserve the right to light into both. As far as Mr. Rusillo goes, much like James Comey, everyone knows you are right all the time, a complete know-it-all, leader of the unwashed masses!

So let’s take a look at Mr. Russillo’s identification papers he had on him last night. Per the police report:
• Sex: Not specified (but given his condition he wouldn’t remember anyway).
• Driver’s license class: Unclassified.
Apparently he doubles as James Bond or models his private life after Ted Kennedy.

Folks, Russillo lectures people daily on his radio show to pick a lane and stay in it, apparently he is unable to do that himself.

Hopefully Ryen gets some help, not just for his alcoholism but from his parents, who spells Ryan with an “e”? Also from his employer, Ryen has a very big substance abuse program and he needs help. The good news is, much like the CRA, ESPN supports the ACA remaining the law of the land, so Ryen should be able to find the help he needs.

ESPN, in a statement said “They are looking into this.” Hopefully they don’t blow it, sorry bad pun!
ESPN, sleep with both eyes open because X is always coming for you!

PS, we are awaiting word on suspension due to our retraction, we will keep you posted.