6 things to do when stuck in traffic (as a commuter)

6. Go to your “other” life. Yes, I mean whatever mobile gadget you use to shut yourself out from the world. Listen to music or audio book, watch a movie or a TV series episode, read an ebook, play games, take photos or videos, or do your thing on social media. We both know these wonder devices are great time killers, and the best reason not to talk to anybody.

5. Talk to an imaginary friend. Because using a gadget in public invites crime, use your imagination instead and pretend you’re talking to someone over the phone, hands-free. No one needs to see whether you have a mobile phone or not. All you need is a blotch device or ear phones to look legit. Have fun inventing a conversation (or conversations, because you’re in a conference call)!

4. Create your own movie script. Because an inconspicuous mobile phone still invites malicious crime (hold-uppers are desperate, you know), write a script in your head for your own life’s movie. Your setting is the jeepney, the shuttle, the bus, the cab, or the tricycle. Your cast is an all-star ensemble: the driver, your co-passengers, the people in the other vehicle beside you, the people in the streets. You, of course, are the protagonist (or the villain, if that’s your thing). The plot? May I recommend 3 Hours of Hell with Strangers (or 4, 5, or how ever long this aggravating traffic is taking you).

3. Strike up a conversation. Because scriptwriting or filmmaking is not your thing, talk to the person next to you — beside you, across from you, it doesn’t matter. But don’t give out your true identity! Use the name of your friend (or enemy) and make up stories about yourself or what you did (but never about what you have — criminal bait, remember?). This is your chance to make your alter ego come to life. Is the other you hilarious? Opinionated (talk about politics, religion, the supernatural, or the traffic situation — like you’re really smart)? Dumb (this way, you let the other person do more of the talking)? Annoying (maybe not this one, or no one would want to talk to you)? Take your pick, and have fun!

2. Join a conversation. Because you can’t think of a topic to talk about, jump in on another conversation that other passengers are having. Start by agreeing with the most opinionated in the conversation. It’s safer to be on the side of arrogance when in a fleeting conversation. Just pray you don’t see them again. Like, ever.

1. Sleep. Because you’re really not creative at all (or are too tired from the day’s work or school), just go to sleep like what the rest of the passengers are probably doing. Who knows, you might even dream of Neverland, thinking happy thoughts.

Cheer up! As Secretary Abaya said, walang namamatay sa traffic (oh, I just ruined it all for you by the mere mention of his name, didn’t I? Sowee powhz…)