If they feel they did so well that they're gloating, it makes you feel that you didn't do well enough. So, you try to get something from them.

Don't gloat when you negotiate. In fact, let the other party feel that they did well. If they think they succeeded in the negotiations, they will close the sale gracefully and enjoy their feeling of victory.

Take some time to show some respect to the other agent. I like to congratulate the other agent for doing a good job and point out something they did well.

Many agents played a part in rescuing America from the housing crisis by doing short sales. I did a lot of them and taught continuing education classes on short sales to other agents.

I had one short sale where the buyer was pointing out how well she did in getting the house at such a low price, which wiped out the seller’s investment. She reveled in the fact that she wouldn’t have to pay for repairs required by her lender.

She finished the soliloquy by pointing out that the seller had to pay for buying down the interest rate on her special loan so that her monthly payment was half of what the seller’s payment used to be.

The seller was hurting from losing the home she loved before the closing started. After the buyer had rubbed her nose in it, I asked to talk to my client out in the hall.

After wiping away her tears, I was able to get her to focus on getting rid of the pain of the loan problems and the benefit of the $3,000 relocation assistance payment.

In other words, there was enough of a benefit to get her to complete the closing — though it was tempting to walk out and deflate this overinflated buyer.

And when the buyer called after closing to try to get an additional improvement, it was much easier to say “no” while pointing out all the items she had raved about at the closing.

Don’t gloat when you negotiate. In fact, let the other party feel that they did well. If they think they succeeded in the negotiations, they will close the sale gracefully and enjoy their feeling of victory.

Every time you make a concession, point out the fact that the other party gained something. You don’t have to point out the corresponding gain that you made. Just take your benefit, smile to yourself, and point out their gain.

The idea of making the other side feel that they have won works well with other agents at closing. Agents are your repeat customers; you want them to come back.

If you have negotiating problems, send them to tim@timburrell.com because you might get your problem solved in my next post on Inman.

TimBurrell has been a Realtor since 1979, currently with RE/MAX United in Raleigh, North Carolina; he solves agent’s negotiating problems at www.NegotiatingConsultant.com. You can follow him on Twitter @BurrellRealtor and Facebook.