Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Live Blogging Thanksgiving

How do you get your Loyal Readers to tune in to your blog on Thanksgiving Day?

Why, an event, of course!

For years, my Facebook friends have been urging me to write a book about the funny and cool things my kids say. In high school newspaper class, we kept all such sayings anonymous and called them "Overheards."

For Thanksgiving, I'll be live blogging some of the best overheads my family (and extended family) can muster. My side of the family is from near Cajun country and my mother-in-law is from, well, Country country, so this should be a blast. (Hint: if it involves britches, I probably didn't say it.)I should warn them...bwa ha ha...but this way is better. I'll get to find out who really reads my blog, when I quote them (anonymously, of course)!

I'm off to get some early Black Friday shopping done (on-line, obviously), but will keep updating this post throughout Thanksgiving Day as funny things come flying out of unsuspecting mouths!

So bookmark this link and keep refreshing for updates! The fun starts soon now.

Quotes:

I didn't try to poop on that. And if I did, I was wearing pants.-Anonymous

*****

I'm very Muggleish that way.-Anonymous*****

Look at that lady. She must be at least 102. Maybe she is the species of Yoda. -Anonymous, very loudly, while standing right in front of said lady*****I think I'm starting to like ham.-Anonymous, watching me add brown sugar, maraschino cherries, and Sprite*****Can I bring E-mail to Thanksgiving?-Anonymous Kid Too Young to Really Use a ComputerWhat is e-mail?-Anonymous ParentMy rubber ducky!-AnonymousADDENDUM: Baby, it's not E-mail. It's Hymel.-Anonymous I call them like I hear them.-Anonymous*****@$#%!&@%!+@&%%#+@%&!+$/@+&# -Anonymous Grown WomanMama! She cussed at me! -Anonymous Grown Sister of Woman*****Remember when Facebook had a link on your timeline to your wife, and you could just pop over to their timeline whenever?-Anonymous HusbandThat was nice. Maybe Facebook thinks we are divorcing? -Anonymous Loving, Sexy WifeYou think it's algorithm is that good?-Anonymous Husband Who'd Better Buy His Loving, Sexy Wife Some Reassurance Chocolates*****You need to wear tights.-Anonymous Judgey SisterTake a picture and let your readers vote. -Anonymous Judgey Sister Following Up****Is it a boy or a girl?-Mom

Sigh. Stop it, Mom. I am not pregnant!*****Kristy, I've got some belly button lint. Come take it out. Take a picture!-Anonymous Brother-in-Law*****Turn that light back on.-Anonymous Brother-in-Law{Sticks out her booty and slaps it a couple of times right in his face} - My Mother, Who Lost Her Right To Be Anonymous During The "Are You Pregnant" Incident of 2015.*****You cut your hair. I love it.-Anonymous No. I washed it.-Anonymous, Blandly*****

When I left the house, my hair was still wet. -Anonymous Teenager

When did you last wash your hair? -Anonymous Grown Up

Like five minutes before that. -Anonymous Teenager

*****

Men are better than women. You can tell because God made men first. -Anonymous Grown Up

Everybody needs a first draft. -Anonymous Teenager

*****

Now your hair looks like your uncle's. -Anonymous To A Child

Look around the room. I am the ONLY man with hair, so who do you WANT to look like? -Anonymous Uncle *****Your daughter-in-law is more stubborn than you.-Anonymous Daughter-in-Law *might have been me*I see that.-Anonymous Mother-in-Law*****

If you shoot me, I will come back and haunt you.-Anonymous Maw Maw*****We almost crashed! A raccoon almost ran out ahead of us.-Anonymous

A suicidal raccoon!-Anonymous*****I was looking for my keys. Couldn't find them. Husband suggested I look in my purse. Guess what? They were right where they belong. Then, my mother-in-law did the same exact thing. Lost keys. Looked in purse. They were right there!-Anonymous Daughter-in-Law *might have been me*Alan, you married your mom!-Anonymous *****You made these ornaments out of towel?-My Mother, Sounding Very South LouisianaTowel? What's towel? Oh, tile!-Anonymous House Guest*****I read all those Christmas romances. They put me in the mood.- My MotherI read them, too, but I'm sure not in the Christmas mood.-Anonymous Mother-in-LawI don't think my mom meant that mood.- Anonymous Daughter

{Mom grins and doesn't even have the decency to look sheepish.}*****

{Name redacted} had to leave to go poo.- Anonymous Sister*****

Only three things stress me out, and one of them is spending small amounts of money.- Anonymous Husband

What's numbers 2 and 3?- Anonymous{silence}

Les Miles. He's got to be number 2!- Anonymous*****

{Insert inappropriate joke here}. Is that going on the blog? That should go on the blog.- Anonymous No, it's a family-friendly blog.- Giftie

{Insert whining here}.- Anonymous*****

{Insert inappropriate image of a turkey here}. Is that going on the blog? That should go on the blog.- Anonymous No, it's a family-friendly blog, plus I'd be stealing their photo.- Giftie

5 comments:

The Yoda comment is probably one of the best compliments a person could ever receive. Yoda lived to be forever, just about, and he was a crazy smart little dude (though he played with riddle-y language a bit too much). If I get to the point where I'm super old (no offense to said lady) and someone says in anyway that I'm like Yoda, I'd tell all my friends xD

My son got a bicycle on his 7th birthday. His 93-year-old grandfather took it for a spin around the yard, and my son's eyes grew as large as dinner plates. When Grandpa returned the bike to him, he asked my son if he thought old men should ride bicycles. My son, in his excitement, shouted, "Grandpa! You're not old until you're AT LEAST 105!"

I was grocery shopping with my Young son and he was walking ahead of me passing by a older man. When he stated really loud, eeewwww I think someone crapped their pants mom! The older gent just kept walking.