William Kerns' Movie Marquee

A listing of this week's movies

Hitman Jimmy Bobo (played by Sylvester Stallone), right, teams up with detective Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang) to track down the man who killed both their partners in director Walter Hill's "Bullet to the Head."

Julie (played by Teresa Palmer), left, forms a relationship in the romantic comedy "Warm Bodies" with a zombie known as R (Nicholas Hoult), who is perhaps inspired by recently having eaten the brain of Julie's boyfriend. There reportedly are references to "Romeo and Juliet."

Movies Opening Today

Bullet to the Head

Hitman Jimmy Bobo, played by Sylvester Stallone, teams up with a young East Coast detective (Sung Kang) in a high-stakes investigation that leads from dingy back alleys all the way to the power corridors of New Orleans. The unlikely duo, brought together by the vicious murders of both of their partners, are willing to sacrifice anything to gain revenge. Christian Slater arrives as one of the villains. Veteran action filmmaker Walter Hill, whose efforts include “48 Hrs.” and mini-series “Broken Trail,” directs.

Written and directed by Jonathan Levine, and based on Isaac Marion’s novel of the same name, the film stars Nicholas Hoult and Teresa Palmer. Following a zombie apocalypse, a young zombie known only as R (Hoult) is overcome by love for Julie (Palmer) after he kills her boyfriend and eats his brains. She, of course, is unaware of the latter part. R winds up rescuing her, but they have trouble communicating. Zombies apparently can barely talk, so the film uses extensive voice-overs to express their thoughts.

An epic love story adapted by Oscar winner Tom Stoppard from Russian writer Leo Tolstoy’s classic 1877 novel, and directed by Joe Wright. The story unfolds within high society settings in late-19th century Russia. As Anna, actress Keira Knightley questions her happiness as her family, friends and community must deal with changes. She betrays her husband (played by Jude Law) and falls for a cavalry officer (Aaron Taylor-Johnson).

Rated R for some sexuality and violence — Movies 16.

Argo

Kerns Rating: Five stars.

Ben Affleck’s winning streak behind the camera continues with a story that might strike one as preposterous if it were not based on fact: a secret bond between the CIA and Hollywood that resulted in the extraction of six Americans hiding in Tehran during the 1979 Iran hostage crisis. A clever prologue explains how the Ayatollah replaced a westernized Shah. The film then recreates the storming of the American Embassy in Tehran by Islamist students and militants. Fifty-two Americans were kept hostage for 444 days. Six escape and go into hiding in the Canadian ambassador’s home, where they were bound to be detected. This is their story.

Rated R for language and some violent images — Movies 16.

Broken City

Ex-cop turned private detective Billy Taggart (played by Mark Wahlburg) is hired by New York City Mayor Nicholas Hostetler (Russell Crowe), given $50,000 just to confirm if his wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is cheating on him. He has no problem confirming that ugly truth, handing over incriminating photographs. When the wife’s lover is killed, Taggart opts to look more deeply into the mayor’s business, but also sees himself being set up.

It is writer-director Quentin Tarantino who is unchained here, delivering one of his more spontaneous, clever and brutally funny movies since “Pulp Fiction” and the two-part “Kill Bill.” During this violent, perfectly edited 165-minute film, Tarantino rubs viewers’ noses in what slavery truly involved and literally blows up any remaining myths involving the genteel South. As expected, gunplay is over-the-top, bloody and never subtle. The writing is brilliant, the dialogue memorable. His cast rewards him with character shadings; there is not a single one-dimensional character, and it is difficult to pick a favorite.

Andy Brewster (played by Seth Rogen) is about to embark on a road trip, and who better to accompany him in this comedy than overbearing mother Joyce (Barbra Streisand)? When starting his adventure with a quick visit at mom’s house, Andy is guilted into bringing her along for the entire ride.

Rated PG-13 for language and some risque material — Movies 16.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (3-D and 2-D)

Kerns Rating: One and one-half stars.

About the time that Gemma Arterton, as Gretel, realizes that she has returned to the candy-coated, temporary sugar shack of her youth, she stands outside and says, “You’ve gotta be effing (you know the word) kidding me!” Any viewer with a brain had been making similar declarations throughout, and not just because Hansel evidently is the kingdom’s first diabetic. Director Tommy Wirkola delivers a film that does not even need a 90-minute running time to toss everything from body parts to multiple blades in our direction, 3-D style. But come on, these witch-hunters of olden times have everything from pump-action shotguns, to electricity-gathering weapons. Most witches, even the gorgeous Famke Janssen, are given the same gross-out facials, and it turns out that, once again, people can ask, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” Although the safe bet is usually bad. I suppose if Abe Lincoln can hunt vampires, Hansel and Gretel can hunt witches. Hard as it is to believe, this movie is worse.

Calling this a parody of the “Paranormal Activity” franchise makes it sound far more intelligent than it is. This movie’s version of humor is ugly, hurtful and insulting on every possible level.

Rated R for crude and sexual content, language and some drug use — Tinseltown 17 and Movies 16.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Kerns Rating: Four stars.

Filmmaker Peter Jackson’s feelings for Middle-earth once again are infectious. Know in advance that this film really is the first film in a trilogy, a three-film story preceding “The Lord of the Rings.” From the first minutes, it is obvious that Jackson is in his element. He teases viewers with early glimpses of Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Saruman (Christopher Lee), and Gandalf’s (Ian McKellan) only slightly longer conversation with Elrond (Hugo Weaving) and Galadriel (Cate Blanchett). Be assured, a different adventure begins here. If the story is more lean, it is not so much due to Jackson slicing a single volume into thirds, but rather because drama is diluted when one need not worry about the fates of all. “The Hobbit” finds Bilbo (Martin Freeman) joining a quest by 13 dwarfs to reclaim their homeland, which was violently conquered by the now sleeping dragon, Smaug.

In June 1939, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (played by Bill Murray) and his wife Eleanor (Olivia Williams) host England’s King George VI (Samuel West) and Queen Consort Elizabeth (Olivia Colman) for a weekend at the Roosevelt home at Hyde Park on Hudson, in upstate New York — the first visit by a reigning English monarch to America. With Britain facing imminent war with Germany, the royals desperately look to FDR for support.

Rated R for brief sexuality — Movies 16.

The Impossible

Kerns Rating: Four and one-half stars.

Birds barely escape before land and humanity are battered by a giant wall of seawater, as the Indian Ocean’s 2004 tsunami advances on Thailand. Nothing can prepare audiences for what immediately follows. The film’s title may refer to an unexpected attack by the sea itself, not the creatures within, or to a human spirit fighting for breath against odds more likely to leave bodies broken. This is a tremendously acted story, and not only by the splendid Naomi Watts, communicating pain at heart-shattering levels, which are not always physical. Within this unexpected challenge, an injured mother still guides her eldest son, played by Tom Holland. The movie is special not so much because of visual effects, which are frightening in their believability, but because viewers watch a boy become a man, placing others before himself, not easy for any teen. Then the drama that is worry about missing family gives way to worry about one’s survival.

It should come as no surprise that the character attracted the interest of Tom Cruise. Never mind that Cruise does not come close to fitting the physical description of Child’s former military policeman, who returns home and goes off the grid as a drifter. That is not what hurts this movie. Saddled with a TV movie script, director Christopher McQuarrie unintentionally delivers a bad ’60s mystery, complete with Werner Herzog as a disfigured Russian criminal mastermind called “the zec.”

Well, he told us he’d be back. Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to film stardom in Korean director Kim Jee-woon’s modern-day western. Once again, an older sheriff stands tall against threatening odds. Schwarzenegger’s Ray Owens, a former LA cop, is happy keeping the peace in a sleepy border town. But mercenaries soon appear, preparing for the arrival of Mexican cartel leader Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega), who is busy driving like a bat out of hell, with hostage in tow, after escaping FBI incarceration. Jee-woon delivers excitement on the pre-dawn highway, and later finds more drama by allowing Owens and Cortez to play cat and mouse, driving blind in a tall cornfield. Confrontations eventually may be reduced to predictable cliches, but credit Jee-woon with blowing up enough cars (and Bad Guys) to keep Ah-nold’s fans happy.

Honoring source material throughout, even asking stars to sing their songs live, director Tom Hooper leaves viewers wanting to applaud — if only they could stop weeping long enough to do so. Set against the backdrop of 19th century France and based on Victor Hugo’s novel, “Les Miserables” tells a gripping story of broken dreams, sacrifice and redemption — a testament throughout to the human spirit. Anne Hathaway is a lock for an Oscar as Best Supporting Actress for her performance as Fantine, a woman thrown into the street and reduced to selling hair, teeth, even her body (“it pays a debt”) and breaking hearts with “I Dreamed a Dream.” Hugh Jackman is rock solid as Jean Valjean, devoting his life to Fantine’s daughter, Cosette, even while doggedly pursued by Inspector Javert, granted a hating presence by Russell Crowe. Hooper has recreated an era, with help from colossal production design, costume design and cinematography. But it is the characters, and their songs, that steal our hearts. The film’s imperfections are too slight to mention. Only the heartless could not be moved by this storytelling.

Director Ang Lee adaptation of Yann Martel’s novel is a rare experience, and not just because of his intelligent use of 3-D cinematography. Zookeeper’s son Pi Patel, who accepts three religions (Hinduism, Christianity and Islam) as a boy, is moving with his family and several animals from India to Canada. A storm sinks their freighter, and Pi shares a life raft with the only other survivors: an injured zebra, a vicious hyena, a sad orangutan and a hungry, 450-pound Bengal tiger named Richard Parker. Newcomer Suraj Sharma stands out in flashbacks as the teenaged Pi, stranded at sea for 200 days, a man-eating tiger initially keeping him alert and later providing companionship. The movie unfortunately glosses over any gritty, frightening terrors within Pi’s eight-month battle for survival. Lee introduces dangers and surprises at sea, some lethal, others hypnotic.

You will be ready to hand Daniel Day-Lewis an Academy Award after seeing Steven Spielberg’s “Lincoln.” Day-Lewis captures not only the wisdom and courage, but the compassion and weariness of a man who devoted his life to asking others to do the right thing. Yes, this is a talky, political film, but never one from which anyone should bolt. We view the effects of battle, rather than the Civil War’s version of “Saving Private Ryan.” We share the sickness of Lincoln’s son (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) as he views the results of post-battle amputations, his self-worth becoming a victim of his father’s protective influence. Tommy Lee Jones stands out as a salty Republican who knows how Congressional games are played. And Sally Field, as Mary Todd Lincoln, has done her research and disappears into character, delivering an astonishing performance. This is the best film released in 2012.

Rated PG-13 for an intense scene of war violence, some images of carnage and brief strong language — Movies 16.

Mama

On the day their father killed their mom, sisters Victoria and Lilly vanished into the woods near their suburban neighborhood. For five years, their uncle (played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and his girlfriend Annabel (Jessica Chastain) have searched for them. When the children are found in a decrepit cabin, the couple wonders if the girls are the only guests they have welcomed into their home. Annabel tries to introduce the girls to a normal life, but grows convinced of an evil presence in the house. Are the sisters experiencing traumatic stress, or is a ghost visiting them?

A 2001 Oscar nominee returns with 3-D features added. The timing could not be better, at least considering that a prequel, “Monsters University,” opens next summer with voice actors John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi, Jennifer Tilly and Frank Oz all reprising their roles. Casting is spot-on, with Goodman and Crystal providing the voices for buddies working at Monsters Inc., a firm which expects the monsters in every child’s closet to collect screams that provide energy for their city. The story is hilarious, made even more so by director Pete Docter’s breathtaking pace and an excellent use of sight gags throughout.

The saving grace is Texas Tech graduate and director Andy Fickman, who arrives with a solid reputation for making family comedies and enough clout to attract Billy Crystal, Bette Midler and Marisa Tomei. The latter longs for a much-needed vacation with her husband, and calls grandparents Crystal and Midler to look after the children. The request also comes with a list of rules involving three children with problems of their own: an over-achiever, a stutterer attracting bullies and the youngest with an imaginary friend. Fickman is wise enough to make sure there is a song or two when Midler’s around, and he also capitalizes on Crystal’s love of baseball in its purest forms.

Rated PG for some rude humor — Premiere Cinemas 16 and Tinseltown 17.

Parker

Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez team up in a crime thriller, based on a series of novels by Donald E. Westlake. Take note, however, that the film is helmed by double Directors Guild Award winner Taylor Hackford. Title character Parker (Statham) is a professional thief who lives by a personal code of ethics: Don’t steal from people who cannot afford it, and don’t hurt people who don’t deserve it. On his latest heist, his crew double crosses him, steals his stash, shoots him and leaves him for dead. Seeking revenge years later, Parker finds them planning a bigger heist.

A tinsel-wrapped action film for the young at heart. I did not expect to be won over by a film in which a Russian-accented Santa (aka North, voice of Alec Baldwin), tall and tough Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman), a mute Sandman and often hilarious Tooth Fairy (Isla Fisher) are advised by the Man-In-The-Moon to ask edgy Jack Frost (Chris Pine) to join them as guardians of childhood’s innocence and imagination. Kudos to the artists who deliver Santa’s toy-making Yetis and fearsome steeds representing Pitch’s night-mares.

Risk-taking director David O. Russell delivers a not-to-be-missed, bipolar romantic serio-comedy. Indeed, his scenes are a series of unpredictable highs and lows, with stars first hitting it off when discussing a shared interest in pharmaceuticals at a doomed dinner party. Casting is brilliant throughout. Standouts, however, are Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. Cooper is Pat, diagnosed late as bipolar, and back home only after eight months in a mental institution. Meanwhile, Lawrence, as the widowed Tiffany, seems to be making wrong, painful decisions when trying to handle depression. Just as impressive are Robert De Niro and Jacki Weaver as Pat’s parents.

Rated R for language and some sexual content/nudity — Premiere Cinemas 16, Tinseltown 17 and the Stars and Stripes Drive-In.

Skyfall

Kerns Rating: Five stars.

Everything falls snugly into place as director Sam Mendes is not content to deliver only an exciting mystery with a huge payoff. He takes the extra step and provides an anchor that will allow the Bond series to continue. Still, there are changes arriving in bloody or heartbreaking fashion. Daniel Craig again impresses as Agent 007, providing a Bond whose loyalty sets him apart and, in fact, gives him the drive to continue when we are certain he cannot. The story allows fans to explore Bond’s past. In the process, though, Mendes has fun exploring the past of the entire Bond franchise, conjuring memories and unexpected keepsakes. Javier Bardem introduces another great Bond villain.

Written and directed by Judd Apatow, this is a quasi-sequel to his 2007 hit comedy “Knocked Up.” Pete (played by Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann) were seen as a married couple in “Knocked Up,” and this film reveals where their marriage stands. Growing financial troubles endured by Pete’s new record label add to pressures at home.

The first half is a lot of fun. We meet game character Ralph (voice of John C. Reilly), who spends each day wrecking things within his video game and then repeatedly getting tossed off a tall building by star Fix-It Felix Jr. But Ralph is treated shabbily by other game residents even after the arcade closes. So he breaks rules by leaving his own game and leaping into others.

Taking almost three hours to tell a story born of news headlines, and even with an ending that everyone knows is coming, “Zero Dark Thirty” remains a superbly crafted and consistently gripping drama. It maintains our interest from first frame to last, proof enough of great filmmaking. Although not non-fiction, not a documentary, this only slightly fictionalized account of the decade it took to find Osama bin Laden, feels real — and the final 30 minutes, brilliantly directed by Kathryn Bigelow, finds everyone in the theater so quiet, as though living the dangers on screen. It feels that real. Jessica Chastain’s performance is that hard hitting, as well.

Rated R for strong violence including brutal disturbing images, and for language — Tinseltown 17, Movies 16 and the Stars and Stripes Drive-In.