Should We Tell A Lady If Her Fake Eyelashes Look Ridiculous

3pm Pick-Up

Posted on September 07, 2016

Hello my name is Monty and I’m a reformed fake eyelash junkie.

I go in stages of getting the bad boys glued to my eyes, usually around holiday time or big events when I want to feel extra glam or gorge…but the truth is I’m slack when it comes to the maintenance and after 10 days they look rotten and I resemble a trash bag.

I would have fakies on 24/7/365 if they weren’t so needy, picture fortnightly refills, no oil in any eye make up and the need to be combed daily like they are strands of gold.

They are super HIGH maintenance and if you don’t look after them properly and get them refilled like clockwork, they look shithouse.

Lately, I’ve found myself confronted with many a hideous eyelash job. I was having a conversation with a gorgeous lady yesterday but truth be told, I couldn’t concentrate on a thing she was saying because all I could see were eyelashes so large and intertwined they weighed the poor lasses eyelids down. I honestly felt compelled to let this lady know that her eyelashes were not doing her any favours. Of course I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, I just wanted to give her a sisterly tap of advice to take a good long hard look in the mirror and then slowly detox herself from the large lashes.

Fakies are very hit and miss, you go too small in length and you feel no different but then you go a teeny bit too long and you look like a drunk drag queen and when they start to curl into each other…. eeeew.

My 3pm radio co-host Meshel Laurie worded it perfectly when she said that after a week or so, fake eyelashes look like squashed spiders. It’s true, they do, so we decided on our show to create a movement, that when the crushed spiders appear on a fellow dames face let’s subtly tell her. We would tell a fellow gal if she had toilet paper on her shoe after she went to the loo, some of us would help another out if her fly was hanging low or had lipstick on her teeth, so I suggest we put the fake eyelashes that have gone too far in the same courtesy bag.

I am yet to actually put this movement into practice…I haven’t had the balls to tell anyone when their lashes are looking ludicrous. But as a fellow lash lover who will dabble in the good again at some point, I think we need to help each other out when it comes to the world of vanity. So if the lashes look like crushed redbacks hitching a ride, then we simply should be told.