Jeff's Top 5 D&D Spells

What little tyke doesn’t dream of having their remote cabin door smashed
down by a savage and frightening half-giant only to have “Yer a wizard
“arry” gruffed at them sharply? (Still waiting here btw bruh). Though
regrettably, many of us will not be attending
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year, the good news is
that there does indeed exist an alternative means of flexing our
collective magical prowess. In a game we rarely reference on this blog,
D&D offers an
opportunity, for those inquisitive and powerful enough, to master the
mountains of ancient scrolls guarding access to the secrets of only the
most powerful realms of magic - the wielders of which
influence the course of the world down to their very whims.

One of the cool things JADE has noticed during the course of our
adventures is that within almost every context arising in an RPG, there
is potential for the use of magic for those clever enough to see it’s
application. In this way, magic in D&D can almost
act as a thoroughfare through which various social or combat
interactions can play out in game - oftentimes offering solutions to
drive the situation forward in a way that’s intriguing- and equally
engaging. This becomes especially true when you look at the
sheer volume of Bardic spells that cause both social disruption and manipulation.

Now in compiling a list of what we consider to be D&D’s most
powerful magics, JADE took a couple of things into account: Chiefly
among them, is the spell’s ability to have a major impact on a given
situation’s outcome in a way that is sly- while not being
too cliché or straddling the line of deus ex machina (*cough* Timeslip
*cough*) Thusly, most of the spells in our little wizard’s compendium
here can only be learned at higher levels in game -which makes sense as
the more powerful the caster gets, the more
effectual and interesting their magical arsenal becomes. For every
spell listed below, we’ve also included an honorable mention of another
powerful spell that almost made the cut in it’s stead. So get crackin' on
leveling your magic user up because ladies and
gentlemen, variety is the spice of life. Here is what I consider to
be the most powerful RPG magic:

Glibness

Ah Glibness: The cheeky little ditty that lets you replace any charisma
roll with a 15, and prevents truth-detecting magic from catching you in
your shady, twisted lies NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY. So get ready to flaunt
your tales of heroically making that hydra
your bitch and absolutely not curling in the fetal position making
noises akin to a dolphin being strangled. Just think of the beautiful
house of cards you’ll be able to gracefully construct as you elegantly
stack your lies atop each other to win friends and
influence people. You glib little weasel you.

For those wishing to be an aficionado of the social arts, this spell is a
powerful ally to help you weave seamlessly through the political
stratas of society – very possibly even finding yourself in some Regal
bedchambers if it tickles your fancy. Remember,
not every escalation in D & D must end in combat, for to a powerful
sorcerer, people are your playthings and the world is your oyster. To
quote the Infamous Hercule D’Cyrano De Bergerac from JADE’s Elementia
Campaign when asked what he could provide that a
crime boss doesn’t already have loads of: “Bravado”.

Honourable Mention: Reverse Gravity. “If every creature not anchored to the floor falls upward into the sky, does that mean they fall into heaven?”

Maddening Darkness

Even just the name of this one offers potent promises of
torment for thine enemies. Maddening darkness encompasses a 60 foot
radius, preventing creatures even with darkvision from seeing
anything. To top it off, Shrieks,
gibbering, and mad laughter can be heard within the sphere, prompting
every creature caught inside to make a wisdom saving throw: They take
8d8 psychic damage on a failed save, or
half as much on a successful one. Now tickle us masochistic, but what
better way to slaughter one’s foes than making their minds slowly
implode into their own most terrifying depths.

If you must kill someone in
game, surely it’s best to eradicate their very souls into the depraved
blackhole that is loss and despair as well? That’s what
we thought too. 😉
To picture a dark-hooded sorcerer in the shadows of an alley quietly
watching a royal brutally screaming and clutching their head in the
middle of the street creates an atmosphere of great danger that is
utterly intriguing to say the least.

Honourable mention:
Scrying. “While seeing or hearing through the eyes/ears of
another creature is fun and invasively useful, it just doesn’t have
enough maddening darkness for our more refined tastes”

Wrath of Nature

In our wizardly opinion, magic comprised of/integrated with
the natural elements is some of the coolest- and deadliest- around. One
visual yours truly always kept in mind when creating
the magic of Elementia was of a hooded figure standing in the depths of
a heavily wooded forest, slowly raising their hands overhead, and
summoning monstrous vines from deep underground to squeeze the blood and
breath right out of their victims: A very immersive
visual. The good thing about this spell is it basically does exactly
that! How truly convenient. Using whipping tree limbs (4 D6 slashing
Damage), hurling rocks (3 D8 bludgeoning damage), or vines and grass
that make it painfully impossible to move, nature
will break you’re enemy down the way it was always intended to be.
Perhaps it’s merely the beauty in the simplicity of that,
however we know from real life just how terrifyingly deadly the wrath of
nature can be.
When you have the power to call out to the elemental spirits to rouse them against your enemies, it’s a definitive game changer.

Honourable mention:
Stinking Cloud “We’re pretty sure everyone knows someone who doesn’t even need to use magic to create one of these”

Weird

Ok who wants to get a little freak-ay? Now you before you
start bow chicka wow wowing distastefully, understand what you’re
signing up for here. Weird be a spell which draws on the
deepest fears of a group of creatures matey, that if they should fail a
wisdom saving throw, they be engulfed by manifestations of their worst
nightmares shelling out 4 D10 psychic damage a pop. Hot damn does that
ever sound titillating. Now if you’re beginning
to sense a slightly flagellant theme with our spell selections here,
consider your keen eye applauded. It’s always been about breaking your
enemies down not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and
spiritually as well. If you’re not personally haunting
every dream and moment of waking life your foes walk in, well you’re
quite frankly not doing it right. Imagine gaining status or influence by
slowly poisoning the thoughts of a political adversary and watching
them succumb to the torment of their worst fears.
The ability to take a fragile mind and run it through an insane odyssey
of darkened malice is a truly sinister tool that only the most skilled
masters are able to wield. For it’s deep within the bizarre and eerie
where one finds true resolve.

Honourable mention:
Wish “Wish
is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast. By simply speaking
aloud, you can alter the very foundations of reality in accord with your
desires.” No doubt
fun, extremely powerful, and meeting JADE’s criteria, but just way too
Deus Ex. This ain’t Aladdin folks, and if it is, then I’ve been grossly,
grossly misinformed.

Finger of Death

While also doubling as a favourite nickname for a Wet
Willy, Finger of Death is a savage spell that devastates the afflicted
into a state of hopeless slavery. The caster sends
negative energy coursing
through a creature they can see within range, causing it searing pain,
and should it fail a constitution save, it takes 7d8 + 30 necrotic
damage - or half as much on a successful one. The rub?
A humanoid killed by this spell rises at
the start of your next turn as a zombie that is permanently under your
command. Think creatively with this one and find yourself quickly rising
to the top of a kingdom’s hierarchy. If you
don’t feel like being a powerful assassin rubbing out all of the rivals
of the local High Lord in exchange for gold and glory, simply
assassinate them and have the King clipping your toenails and serving
you sangria while you’re flanked by your adoring, albeit
zombified posse. Still want to pull my finger?

Honourable mention:
Shapechange - While no doubt incredible to be able to assume the
shape and stats of any creature matching your challenge rating, go watch
“The Master of Disguise” with Dana Carvey and see your newfound
enthusiasm rapidly wane.

Still with us? Consider your
access to the magical secrets of tabletop RPGs granted. For it is only
courage that crafts the greatest of wizards, and Harry
P would be the first cat in line to say it. Your commitment to
broadening your magical arsenal will not go unrewarded as we leave you
this final tip: Cantrips. These 0-levels spells that cost no action to
use should be a staple of any magic-wielders toolkit.
Get your Bard to throw down some vicious mockery to troll that troll
into some deep psychological damage to see what we’re talking about. You
see words are like bullets, and when they sting, it’s some really funny
shit. See you at Hogwarts bitches.Written by: Jeff CliveImage Sources: 2nd Ed Players Handbook, and 3rd Ed Spell Compendium