Whenever I have nothing to write, I call up my friend Matt. I can always count on him for the same advice when I’ve got writer’s block. Inevitably and predictably, Matt will tell me that I should write about how great he is. While that honestly isn’t too difficult, I try not to use this blog to shovel out praise to specific individuals- unless for example, they are a musician or an artist of sorts. But today I have decided to break from the norm.

So today my friends, I am giving in to his pleas and sharing with you a recent poem I have penned about my friendship with Matt. If this proves to be successful, maybe I’ll continue my poetry writing and expand into other subjects. I can see it now: writing poetry about my hate of the DC Metro, my love of food trucks, or my crazy kickball lifestyle. Anyways, here is my ode to my good friend, Matt:

Matthew Bryan is a special kind of pal.

Making enemies is not very ladylike for a gal.

So it’s odd that you’d have an arch nemesis.

We’ll just make sure not to mark that with emphasis.

Now we’ve got to mention D’Wayne the cat,

Enough with everyone calling him fat.

The both of us know he’s just big-boned,

Thankfully not for which he’d be disowned.

Unlike you, this poem is totally corny.

And I’m sorry it’s lacking in thoughts to make you horny.

So since you’ve been a good sport so far,

Ryan Phillipe should make *mad love* to you in his car.

There’s one more verse before I go-

It’s something I think you ought to know:

Your talents may include inventing a fight,

But in the end, you know how to have one heck of a night!

Also, in lieu of posting a photo of this wondrous fellow, I would like to instead share a video of him tap dancing when he was 14 years old. It is truly quite a memorable performance!