Some programming languages become widely used. Others languish in obscurity. How can you predict which languages will succeed and which will fail? Tamir Khason has figured it out: it's not the the language, but the developer. Languages devised by people* with full beards or, in some cases, mighty mustaches, thrive. Those made by the clean-shaven gain few fans.

Take, for example, Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie, who are pictured above. They have fine, beardly beards. They also invented C. A coincidence? Maybe. But certainly a beard can't hurt. And studies that I just made up show a strong correlation between having a beard and being super intelligent. So why take chances? Start growing one today.