Sunday, July 3, 2011

Kim Kardashian, When Keepin it Real Goes Fake

Did you hear there is a worldwide shortage of silicone? Guess where it all went to...

Hail to the Queen of Useless Celebutards! Kim Kartrashian has decided to throw down the gauntlet of truth and had an X-Ray of her butt to prove the hotly contested issue that only the voices in her mind are having. Is her butt real? I have been waiting with baited breath the results of the investigation as to whether her plump derriere is the result of being pumped in more ways than one, or naturally pumped by the hands of the creator. In any case, Kim must be unaware that X-Ray's only show BONES, as well as her doctor, so her "proof" only displays that she is still a talentless idiot and she went to the dumbest doctor on the planet. I didn't go to medical school, but I know that an X-Ray doesn't show tissue or fat, who in the blue hell came up with the idea to X-Ray her fanny and then let us know the meaningles results? Dr. Conrad Murray? Dr. Suess? Has she been laying on her back so long that oxygen has been cut off to where she thinks that that this is a rational move or that anyone cares? The media needs to have their heads examined for financing this "dunce cartel". She got famous for getting banged by Brandy's little brother...that's sad. Why didn't she kill herself? I would. After Ray J, you need to come with hand sanitizer, wipes and a round of penicillin. Kim loves to show off her implants, injections, and almost transexualized plastic body whose face is becoming a wax figurine/ Frankenstein critter.

It's not the realness of her butt that's the mystery, but the realness of her fame that's amazing. I truly believe that her photo would be pictured under the word "vapid" in any periodical. Maybe her large butt is natures kind way of compensating for her lack of brains. If they MRI'd her brain, which is what you would do to actually see tissue, they would see an empty cavity. What a waste of space. She's a mannequin, pose and get photographed. I take that back, a mannequin is smarter. This moron is wearing her engagement ring she bought herself when she dated her Black Knight Reggie Bush. That takes class...Reggie knew that Kim was only good for a pump and dump. If you give Kim Kardashian a nickel she will take off her clothes, i.e. show us her "curves" either real or enhanced. Does she have any skills? Can she act, sing or dance? Can she cook, wash my clothes and, clean my house? Probably not. So, I don`t need her, do you? She isn't a satisfactory masturbatory aid due to the fact that she smashed the homeys, sounds like a robotic cat and you can almost smell the weed and Swisher Sweets whenever Kim shows up anywhere and she will appear to a envelope opening. She has put several plastic surgeons kids through college and she still looks like a blow up doll from a porn shop that can be purchased along with her Ray-J tape. Happy Strokes! Her sex tape should end up in the hilarious bloopers section on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Prince was right to throw her off stage for being a frozen dead fish who couldn't sing or dance and he recorded with Vanity and Appolonia. Rihanna has better stage presence and she moves like a corpse on stage. Why he pulled her on stage since her extensive knowledge in butt lifts, shoes, breasts and of course "rocking the pipe" qualifies her to share the stage with a legend? A microphone and a penis do share the same shape, so she can muddle through I guess. Speaking of rocking the mic, how did that blasphemy of a song do? She vomited it up, named dropped, luxury latched on, and auto-tuned her way to an ear rape that can turn people into stone. I literally threw up 360 degrees and my insides are still burning from that...words can't describe what that steaming pile of garbage was. Just semen that you plug your headphones into...She has had more black guys in her than the Apollo theatre, you might even find the Sandman on a trapeze hiding up there. If it ain't a "snicker", a little chocolate with plenty of nuts, she ain't having it, at least until the latest victim/ neanderthal Kris _________.

If she in fact had a brain and there is no proof that it in fact exists, she could donate it to charity and it would be showroom new and more valuable than her $2 million engagement ring she purchased herself to convince the world she is the marrying kind. If she had one more brain cell, there would be a traffic jam inside her head.

Kim did Playboy and stated, "It was an independence thing for me. I was always by the book, such the straight arrow when it came to pleasing my parents and being a good daughter. I felt like this was one decision that only I could make. And I think it looks great. I'll have those pictures forever." Right...a good daughter, doing porn and playboy must make the dreams come true for all parents of little girls all over the globe. This is what "good daughters" do? Maybe before they are found overdosed in a semen soaked death under questionable circumstances. What is her career? Lifestyles of the rich and shameless? The only think Kim is good for is being a member of the Bunny Ranch or dying her hair blond so she can be Hef's new girlfriend. Kim seems to prefer corn rows since she enjoys the bruthas playing in her jam while her mother pimps them out. She is just another plastic brick in the wall of stupid who is trying to buy themselves a career. It's sad when Zoolander has more looks than Kim Kardashian and I would rather hear him attempt recording a song than hearing her attempt to "sing" again. I blamed Rihanna for Japan, but I am going to put Kim in that and blame her voice for that as well.

Kim Kardashian is my motivation to bathe daily, I have to wash off all of the filth that is Kim Kardashian. One sperm that could swim faster than the rest of the other sperm and the world has to suffer with this attention seeking stain/ professional whore who does nothing but show her butt and cleavage and screws black NFL guys. Great career choice! If you look close enough at her, you can almost see the STD's leaking down her legs.