Elder Scrolls Collection

You're still playing Skyrim. With content from the game's Creation Kit making the game more weird and grand on a daily basis, why wouldn't you be? But maybe you're a bit tired of how all your finishing blows looks the same. Worry no more, Dovahkiin!

The 1.5 update's live on Steam now and will include new kill cams for melee, ranged and magic and a slew of other features and fixes. Bethesda says that PS3 and Xbox 360 owners will get the update soon. For a full list of changes and fixes, go here.

I play Skyrim obsessively, like lots of people. I'm also a full-time antiquarian book dealer and during my glorious attempts to become a leather-clad death machine in The Elder Scrolls V, I'm always tempted to make some in-game coin on the side collecting and selling the hundreds of available antiquarian titles. Books such as Advances in Lock-picking or Dwemer Inquiries Vol. III offer both arcane and practical lore to thereader as well as deep context for the game's developed history, technology and culture.

But, I am bamboozled at every turn by what is essentially a completely unrealistic book market based on ridiculous assessments of value. While items such as staffs, swords, armour, and jewels fetch a premium price on the secondhand market (500-2000 gold usually), books, for some reason, no matter how scarce they are, top at a measly 100 coins. This is ridiculous. It is simply not possible to make a decent living as a bookseller in Skyrim, despite all my systematic and professional attempts.

My argument is based on two major points: rarity and demand. In our world, these are the factors that fundamentally determine a book's value. How scarce is it and how many people want it? It makes no sense to me at all how a merchant would only give me 50 coin for a title so rare there's only one copy of it in all of Tamriel. If I need to penetrate the bowels of the earth through some death-trapped dungeon and hack through legions of the walking dead to find that book, shouldn't it be worth a little more?

Take Fragment: On Artaeum, for example. It is required reading in a quest where you have to stop the influence of an unearthed, potentially cataclysmic magical Eye. You even have to fight a ticked-off rogue Altmer mage named The Called to get your hands on it (the rare edition, that is). You put your life on the line! Nevertheless, this book only fetches a paltry 45 gold on the secondhand market, despite its central role in saving the land. Well, it just doesn't add up does it?

Now, admittedly, booksellers are notorious spendthrifts when it comes to purchase price. And the game is very accurate in portraying its booksellers as grumbly overbearing cranks. The truth is, despite long afternoons lost in the lore of ages, it is very hard to make a real living as an antiquarian dealer. They're sour for a reason. Many folks who take the plunge into this apparent dream job find this out very quickly. Still, it is possible to make a go of it, as a truly rare item can fetch a glorious sum.

… Only 50 coin for a title so rare there's only one copy of it in all of Tamriel?

This simply isn't true in Skyrim. Even a world where books figure far more centrally than in ours, a land where messages are still sent though couriers on foot (there are no phones, no Internet) and essential knowledge still needs to be kept safe in big monastic castles against the ravages of time (not to mention the mould encouraging environments of old keeps and crypts) you often can't make more than 15-30 or so gold per title.

Considering that a decent house in the game costs 5000 gold, not to mention the 1500 you have to drop outfitting it, you would have to buy and sell 216 titles, scattered willy-nilly all across the land, and fight numerous Dragur, Icewraiths, and Saber Cats to get them, and most certainly die a broken and hungry bookseller. Maybe that's why there are so few full-time people in the game trying. There are numerous grocers and blacksmiths, but only a handful of booksellers, despite a glut of material and occult demand. Still, their shops have so little inventory that I can't see how they possibly could be making a living without selling something illegal on the side.

I feel that this is an unacceptable blind spot that needs to be addressed. When so much thought goes into the minutiae of a sword's magical abilities, a Tolkienesque Middle Ages fantasy where mysterious knowledge is required to survive needs a much more functional antiquarian book market. And I'm not even going into the fact that there seems to be only one printing press in all of Tamriel producing these things. These problems aren't a deal-breaker, however, because I've easily clock 100 plus hours into this game and don't seem to be stopping. But, just like in the real world, I would like the poor bookseller to get their due.

If you pay attention to ads, you know there are subliminal messages. Even if you don't, your brain picks up on them. Typically, these messages are sex-related, but not always. Blogger Copyranter, who's apparently been an ad copywriter for 18 years, sure notices them.

On a post titled "Today's Blowjob Ad", Copyranter pointed this this poster, which is part of a new UK campaign for Nvidia's GeForce GPUs. The ad agency is supposedly London's Alecoppe.

The top advert features an image from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

The ads have the tag, "The Most Realistic Ever" and are designed to contrast game realism with the back of some player's head. According to Copyranter, the second ad in the series, featuring a sumo wrestler, is less "blowjobby".

In The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Guardian Stones give players special abilities. One stone can be activated at a time, and if you've played the game, you will be familiar with them.

These powers these stone offer exist only in Skyrim. The stones themselves seem to have a real-life counterpart.

Kotaku reader Brian, spotted this sea front monument in the Irish town Bundoran.

"The area is one of Ireland's primo surfing areas, with surfers from all around the world coming to the small town of Bundoran on the west coast of Ireland," wrote Brian, who blurred out his lady's face for privacy. "So I can only imagine that this is in fact the Surfer Stone giving users the power of Atlantic Wave Tamer!"

The work of artist Brendan McGloin, the stone sculpture dates from 2000 and is named Carraige na Nean, (Rock of the Birds). It may not be a real Guardian Stone, and it may not even be Skyrim's inspiration, but it's close to the real thing. Well, minus things like quick Magicka regeneration.

One PC gaming truism is that modders make magic, by altering the rules or looks of a vanilla game release into something shinier or more idiosyncratic. In the case of PC modder Xilver, the magic-making's literal.

A.K.A. Brian Rivers, Xilver made an insanely robust mod called Midas Magic: Spells of Aurum for Oblivion. It delivered more than 100 spells that let you conjure freeze rays, hail storms and creature summons to the game's Mages. Now, with the follow-up to Oblivion being a major PC phenomenon, Xilver's launching the spiritual sequel to Midas Magic for Skyrim, The trailer above shows of the formidable powers players will be able to wield with the mod for The Elder Scrolls V mod. You can grab Xilver's add-on here.

Some folks loved the latest Legend of Zelda game but weren't fond of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Others turned up their noses at Skyward Sword but embraced Bethesda's latest wholeheartedly. Somehow commenter Sloopydrew found himself disappointed with both games. In today's Speak Up on Kotaku we try to determine what sort of alien he is.

Am I the only one disappointed with both the most recent Elder Scrolls and recent Zelda game? I love both of those franchises and loved the last few games with a fanboy-like passion. But Skyward Sword and Skyrim — along with sharing a similar name — share the feeling of "sameness."

I just feel like I've played these games before and, when I did, they were better.

Every Elder Scrolls got better, for me, through Oblivion. Skyrim feels like a glitchy fetch quest with nothing new. Zelda got better for me through Windwaker. I still liked Twilight Princess, but Skyward Sword leaves me cold. Not to mention, popping in Windwaker after playing Skyward is startling, as Windwaker is clearly graphically superior, on top of being a better game.

Anyway, I didn't want to troll and I know I'm the odd man out on this, but I'm looking for anyone who agrees with me, just to validate that I'm not going crazy. I looked forward to both of these games, bought both on launch and have ended up finishing neither. I played some Skyrim last night and, as I have every time, shut it off about an hour in feeling bored and disappointed. I haven't even put Skyward Sword back on for at least a week. Probably more. I'm seriously doubting I'll even finish either of these games. Certainly startling, as I finished their predecessors more than once each.

About Speak Up on Kotaku: Our readers have a lot to say, and sometimes what they have to say has nothing to do with the stories we run. That's why we have a forum on Kotaku called Speak Up. That's the place to post anecdotes, photos, game tips and hints, and anything you want to share with Kotaku at large. Every weekday we'll pull one of the best Speak Up posts we can find and highlight it here.