I am reaching out for help following a bad decision. This forum offers the best advice available. Thank you for the service. 4 months ago, I received unprotected oral sex from a strange female, after over a year of complete abstinence. 2 days later, my penis tip became irritated and extremely sensitive to touch. Around day 4 I developed a flu like illness, fever, chills and lack of appetite, swollen and sore lymph node under arm pit. I visited a urologist, and tested 2.5 weeks after exposure. Negative blood and urine for common std's and both type herpes. I have tried amoxicillan and diflucan, neither has helped. My symptoms have lessened, but remain. As you have read before, my underwear feels like sandpaper rubbing against the tip of my penis. Sometimes it is hard to notice, other times its very irritating. At times it appears red and inflamed, sometimes it looks 90% normal. It varies without explanation. I understand receptive oral sex is very low risk, and I am not concerned with common std's I already tested negative for. My greatest concern is passing this on. I have been separated from my longtime girlfriend for over a year, but we have been on 2 dates in the past few weeks, and I am terrified to tell her what I did. She is a physician assistant, if I pass something to her, she will know. I am to the point that I can live with the irritation, but I completely refuse to pass this on to someone else, that is, if at all communicable. I have another appointment with urologist tomorrow, what do you suggest I do?

Welcome to our Forum. I'll be pleased to make some suggestions. I agree with your assessment that there is no reason to worry about typical STIs. Your symptoms and the time course do not match up well. further, I think it is questionable as to whether the flu-like illness you developed was related or coincidence. The major comments/suggestions I have for you are:

1. Fungal infection remains a possibility despite the treatment with fluconazole (diflucan). Not all fungal infections respond to fluconazole and what you describe could be a fungal infection.
2. ..and related to number 1. If the urologist does not have a clear plan, I think you need to see a dermatologist with experience in genital dermatology. there are a number of non-infectious dermatological processes which involve the penis and can cause the sorts of symptoms you describe. In addition, because the skin of the penis tends to be easily damaged and slow to heal, without proper management such problems can follow the sort of prolonged course you describe.
3. There is little chance that what you have is something that you could transmit to your girlfriend. I would not let this process negatively impact your sexual relationship with her.
4. I would advise against application of medication, cremes, etc. until you have seen the urologist tomorrow. such things can just confuse things.

I hope these comments are helpful. Please let me know what the urologist says. EWH

Don't worry, I gave up on creams and oitments months ago. I have tried 3 different topical anti fungals, cortisones, lotions, etc. Nothing has helped. I forgot to mention that I never had any discharge, but did have urinary frequency.

I just returned from the urologist. She prescribed a topical pain killer because she believes my problem is psychological. She said if it persists one more month, she is going to refer me to a dermatologist. Am I anxious? You bet. Is that causing my penis tip to appear red and irritated? I don't think so.

We had a discussion on whether this issue I am having is communicable or not. She noted that nothing wrong could be found, and she doubts there is anything I can pass on. I am doubtful. I feel like my penis is a poison tipped arrow.

I have read many, many stories on many threads and forums, that have identical stories following receptive oral sex. Would you agree that this is a common problem? I have read many times, that Dr Handsfield claims there are no known complications. No cancer, no infertility, nothing that can be transmitted to a current or future partner. Do you agree?

I have no signs of infection. No lesions, sores, discharge, wbc's, or anything else that signals inflammation, besides my discomfort. All of this originated after receptive oral sex, and based on my three months of research, I know I'm not the first story you've heard like this. So what now?

Your visit to the urologist was of value even though you did not get the answer you were searching for, it should be reassuring to you that she and I have come to the same conclusion that your partner is not at risk for any STD. Further, I am comfortable with assuring you that you are not at risk for complications of the sort you mention.

We do hear from occasional clients who have had similar problems and, without making accusations, I have to say that we see no evidence and are not convinced that their complaints represent STIs

I am pleased that your urologist has outlined a plan to work with yo on this and has not just ignored your problem. I would work with her.

I would like to say thank you for your help. I'm not sure if you're aware of how much help you provide for people. It's remarkable. My irritation continues, but it seems to be slowly fading.

What are your opinions on inflammation without infection? My issues are without a doubt a result of unprotected, receptive oral sex. Could I have inflammation from adeno virus, or normal mouth flora? I convinced myself that I contracted some sort of virus, due to my week long sickness, that to me signals primary infection. I want to move forward, but I refuse to pass this on. Keep in mind, my gf is P.A. at the biggest medical university in the Midwest.

Did you ever figure this out? I have the same exact story as you including treatment with diflucan and it improved but it sometimes keep coming back. I also tested negative for everything (HIV syphilis gonorrhea chylmadia out to 128 days) and negative for herpes IGM, IGG, and a culture at 53 days including the other stds I previously mentioned. Im uncircumsized and I also had issues after the same incident you described. Do you think it's possible we never noticed the redness before?

I don't know for sure. Personally, I believe that some type of oral bacteria irritated my penis, and left me with some irritation. I have no signs of inflammation from all tests. Once again, negative tests. It's still red, but the irritation is less, and appears to fade with each passing month. It's liveable now. I hope it becomes nothing with time.

Also, I have made friends with other men on this site, who have lived with it, accepted it, and also passed nothing on to their partners.

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