Siege Mentality: Crush The Castle

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CRUSH THE CASTLE! That’s an order, you. What a fun title. I’d type more eloquent and useful things, except my right hand has swollen up like a balloon – seriously, it’s red and puffy and deeply weird. It’s hard to type properly. I’ve put the symptoms into WebMD, and there’s only one suggested ailment: I’m pregnant. So with this rather shocking news, I leave you to play this really rather fabby Flash game which involves throwing rocks at castle-dwelling folk until they all get squished. Perhaps a little too easy, but you can design your own levels too, and you should totally share the best ones with all the other children, below.

@Devan: you need to release the rocks just as the sling touches the top of the screen. That’ll send them on the right trajectory to knock the top of the tower off. A repeat of that will have the rocks skitter across the top and crush the royal family.

I think the addition of aiming markers to a game involving launching boulders from a giant trebuchet is the kind of pussyfoot hand-holding that has nothing to do with launching boulders from a giant trebuchet.

FINALLY managed to beat 17, hilariously my last cannonball bounced off a cannonball already balanced on a single stone pillar above the royalty, landing next to the queen, knocking her over onto her husband, in process killing him. Thats right, I killed the king WITH THE QUEEN.

I had a good amount of fun with this on Kongregate a day or two ago as well, and I too obtained the badges. Reading some of the comments (or description) lead me to the inspiration for the game – Castle Clout. Pretty fun (I think I played Castle Clout 3.0, also on kongregate), and very similar, I think I heard someone say that they had the creator of castle clout’s blessing or somesuch to use the same gameplay and whatnot, probably why they are so similar (although, there are significant differences as well).

Curse you JW…I recently bought L4D, Plants vs Zombies, and just yesterday DefenseGrid, but did I play those? No, I just spent an hour trying to get passed a couple levels 17 and…the 2nd to last? The last one I did first try, first shot – wish it had record/replay function.

Fun. One question for those that played it, did you find any noticeable difference in the launching characteristics of the different sizes? I think, possibly, the smaller ones traveled a teensy smidgen further, but I couldn’t swear to it. Once each successive size was made available, I rarely(never?) found I needed to drop down again to the smaller ones.

Some technical details need smoothing (the “clank” noises should be off during level setup, sometimes the mouse-click gets out of sync, so you click to scroll back to the left, but it starts the launch, as well) and a couple gameplay tweaks. (Namely, the inability to hit “reset” after the last launch, forcing you to wait for the countdown and the “you suck” dialog.)

I hate the slow pan from the castle to your trebuchet when you’re trying again. Plants vs. Zombies does that too – I just played the level and need to restart (probably for something minor), I don’t need the whole setup shot again.

Try this one, any ammo you want to use.
4~p_t:298.15,394.75|p_t:383.85,394.5|p_t:468,394.9|p_t:552.7,396.25|fl_i:381.55,346.4|p_t:341.65,314.75|p_t:433.35,315|p_t:635,398.35|fl_i:583.35,346.65|p_t:511.75,317.1|p_t:595.2,314.4|fl_i:360.45,268.25|fl_i:563.95,272.4|p_t:385.65,239.35|p_t:471.85,238.4|p_t:553.35,237.55|c_k:719.45,385.4|fl_i:394.2,192.75|p_t:640,236.65|p_t:302.25,241.1|fl_i:596.55,190.8|p_t:346.45,158.3|p_t:438.35,160|p_t:523.35,158.3|p_t:603.15,160|w_i:806.7,360|ws_i:786.7,391.25|w_i:827,359.2|w_i:846.95,358.5|w_i:866.7,358.35|p_t:724.9,235.95|ws_i:673.35,312.15|ws_i:1004.25,327.85|f_i:841.55,288.1|f_i:839.4,276.15|fl_i:766.35,267.1|p_t:816.7,233.35|fl_i:796.7,188.35|p_t:686.7,158.3|p_t:772.2,156.65|p_t:858.15,156.65|
And yeah, I already knew about this, and it’s fun as hell to score a headshot with a boulder the size of a door FLUNG FROM A TREBUCHET. :D