All
minus Bruce: The Higgins Boys and Gruber Show
(Comedy Central, 1989-90?)

Part
One-

[Dave H and Kevin sitting in the kitchen, Kevin has a guitar.]

Dave
H: How long have you been playing the guitar?

Kevin:
I can honestly say this is the first time I've even seen a guitar.

Dave
H: Really? So you've worked out a song? [gesturing towards
the guitar]

Kevin:
Yes.

Dave
H: Why don't you play it? I'd love to hear it.

Kevin:
[starts playing, singing] Sandy walks soft on the beach, her hair
so long she's out of reach [knocks over a cup with the guitar]
in the summer... Sandy is a girl I know [knocks over another cup]
Sandy where she goes I go Sandy in the summer... [pauses and says
to Dave] Sing with me!

Kevin:
[singing] Sandy walks soft on the beach her hair so long [knocks
over another cup, but has to lean over really far to do it] she's
out of reach in the summer...

Dave
H: [singing along a little bit behind Kevin]

Kevin:
[singing gets more intense, reaching a crescendo] Sandy goes where
they all go. She's in the air she's in the...[pause] flow... Saaaannnndyyyy!

Dave
H: [Still singing along, but obviously doesn't know the lyrics]

Kevin:
[straight-faced and soft, to Steve] I love you.

[Both Kevin and Dave look away awkwardly...]

Dave
H: Www..

[Fade out]

Part
Two-

[Mark, Dave, Kevin and Scott of the KITH and Steve and Dave Higgins
and Gruber sitting around the kitchen of their set, chatting.]

Dave:
And- [cringing when he realizes that the camera has started rolling]

Gruber:
Ah! We're on the air!

Dave
H: Ah, Higgins Boys and Gruber here with the Kids in the Hall.
All except Bruce.

Kevin:
Sorry.

Dave
H: That's alright. Uh.

Gruber:
What's he doing?

Dave:
That's uh.. none of your business.

[Gruber laughs- everyone talking at once]

Steve:
[to Mark] Do your Bruce hand-puppet thing.

Steve
and Kevin: Mark is doing Bruce.

Dave:
[pretending to interview Bruce] Where do you come up with the
idea for that cabbagehead thing?

Mark:
[holds up an oven mitt, and says in a funny voice] Oh don't talk
to me now, I have to go and shoot some supereight. [holds up a
plastic doll, blond in a red bikini] But Bruce, this is our manager,
but Bruce you have to go to the Higgins Boys and Gruber. [back
to the oven mitt] I can't, I can't. Why didn't you tell me? [the
oven mitt hits the doll over the head with a wooden rolling pin
repeatedly] I'm so mad at you. I'm so mad at you. [he raises the
doll] Ow, ow, ow. [the mitt starts hitting the doll again] I'm
so mad at you, you never told me about the Higgins Boys and Gruber
interview. [the doll leaves] Ow, ow, ow. [the ovenmitt says] Ok,
Norm, let's go.

Scott:
Our manager is Loni Anderson.

Dave:
Ya.

[fade out]

Part
Three-

[Dave, Mark, Kevin and Scott with HB+G hanging in the kitchen
on the set]

Dave
H: Higgins Boys and Gruber here with the Kids in the Hall,
having a fun time talking.

Scott:
Ya, ha ha, talking.

Dave:
This is like, the Comedy Gathering of the Century, isn't it?

Dave
H: It really is! People for a long time will be talking about
that-

Kevin:
The seven great comic minds of our generation...

Dave:
...remember that?

Kevin:
We could rule the world!

Dave
H: I am gonna be in Canada, with that sitcom I got coming
out, the Turner and Hooch thing.... (general hubbub)... Chris
??? is gonna be the chief executive.