Things I Wish I knew…. before having a Baby

Things I Wish I knew…. before having a Baby

At 8.10am 19 years ago today, I became a Mother, when my beautiful daughter, Carrigan was born. I remember the day like it was yesterday……. the overwhelming rush of emotion and the complete high that this beautiful baby was mine. I thought as a qualified midwife that I was fairly well prepared for caring for a newborn……But……

Nothing will ever prepare you for motherhood, no books or antenatal classes, no anecdotes or time spent with friends, no apps or midwifes. It is an experience impossible to really communicate and one which binds generations of mothers.

But still, there are things we all wish we had known before having a baby, to stop us worrying, to keep us sane and to get a glimpse into our future. Not the milestones but the realities.

You will become a baby bore

You will become a baby bore. It happens to us all and it is inevitable really. Every moment of every day will be spent with a small person, they will be the centre of your universe, demanding your attention throughout the day and night and this wonderful, beautiful, brilliant baby is something that you created. Sleep deprivation means you won’t always remember what you were watching on TV an hour ago and in those early days nothing is more important than remembering which side you last fed from, when your baby last pooped and recording quite how little sleep you are getting. It won’t last forever, but in those early days all conversations will be brought back to your baby and that is ok.

The newborn days go too fast

You wait nine months to hold this baby and before you know it, they are toddling around declaring everything as ‘mine’. You will be told daily if not more often to enjoy them whilst they are little and this really is good advice. The newborn days don’t last long, those curled up fingers slowly unravel, those little frog legs start stretching out and the unmistakable newborn cry changes too. Capture those moments, sniff their heads, take photos, lay in bed together all day, but remember those precious early days only happen once.

Pooplosions

They may be small, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have some force behind them, and you haven’t experienced parenthood until you have had to change a baby who either has poop coming out the neck hole of their sleepsuit or down by their feet. With a purely liquid diet you have to expect everything else to be liquid too and never leave the house without plenty of spare clothes. On the same subject, the colour will change almost daily in the early weeks so be prepared to have plenty of conversations about poop with anyone who will listen.

Those things you said you would never do

Those things you said you would never do . . . chances are you will try at least half of them. Being a perfect parent is easy, until you have children. You will more than likely sniff their bum, use the TV as a babysitter, hoover a clean floor over and over to try and get them to sleep, give in to an impulse buy because ‘all the other mums swear by it’, wipe a dummy on your trousers before handing it back and have the baby in bed with you to get a few minutes extra sleep. It is very easy to judge until you are in the situation so keep an open mind when deciding what you won’t compromise on ­ it makes it easier to change it down the line.

There is no need to buy ahead

So many parents have the first year mapped out before their baby even arrives and it is an easy trap to fall into. The amount of things a newborn actually needs is pretty minimal though, and usually takes up enough space. Weaning doesn’t begin until around 6 months so having a highchair before birth means you just have something big and bulky to store for months. As long as you have the basics you are pretty set, and with the wonders of 24 hour supermarkets, even those can be bought last minute!

Nothing is more important than sleep

I am sure you have all heard the advice ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ and most of the replies seem to start ‘and do housework when the baby does housework?’. Well the simple answer is yes. Nobody ever looks back and wishes they had spent more time doing housework, but there isn’t long where you can just curl up with your baby and take a much needed daytime nap. Sleep is important and it may be a while before you get a long stretch of it so do what you have to to get through. Cancel your plans occasionally and take a nap together, have an early night whenever you fancy and follow your baby’s lead. It isn’t as easy with second and third children so if that is the case, accept all help, if a friend or family member offers to watch the older children so you can snooze ­ do it!!

Overwhelming love

Nothing will ever prepare you for the overwhelming love you will have for a new baby. It may hit you as soon as they arrive, it may take a few hours, days or weeks but it will be all consuming, powerful, wonderful and stronger than you ever imagined. That tiny baby who didn’t even exist not that long ago will take up the biggest part of your heart, fill a gap that you didn’t know existed and teach you about selfless love. It isn’t easy to explain or to do it justice, but you will start seeing it in the eyes of parents everywhere and not just parents of newborns. Enjoy it, relax into it and just go with it.

Newborns Grow and Change so quickly

Why not capture your new baby in those first few days. Capture those tiny little features before they change.

Newborn Photo Shoots are best done within the first 2 weeks of baby’s life so it is very important to book your Newborn Shoot whilst still pregnant to be assured of a space in the diary when baby arrives.