Justice Insider: Missing comma gives judges pause

Tuesday

Jun 30, 2015 at 12:01 AMJun 30, 2015 at 9:27 AM

Proper punctuation is important. Period. A missing comma in a municipal ordinance led the 12th District Court of Appeals to overturn the parking violation of a woman who lives in West Jefferson in Madison County.

Theodore Decker, The Columbus Dispatch

Proper punctuation is important. Period.

A missing comma in a municipal ordinance led the 12th District Court of Appeals to overturn the parking violation of a woman who lives in West Jefferson in Madison County.

Andrea Cammelleri had appealed after she was convicted in Municipal Court for leaving her 1993 Ford pickup parked on a village street for more than 24 hours.

She pointed out that the ordinance prohibited “any motor vehicle camper, trailer, farm implement and/or non-motorized vehicle” from daylong parking and argued that her truck is not a “motor vehicle camper.”

The village argued that the lack of a comma separating motor vehicle from camper was a typo and did not invalidate her violation. But the court sided with Cammelleri. Grammar counts, the judges said.

“If the village desires a different reading, it should amend the ordinance and insert a comma,” Judge Robert A. Hendrickson wrote.

• • •

Franklin County residents who receive a phone call informing them that they are being fined for failing to show up for jury duty can rest assured that they aren’t speaking to the court or a deputy sheriff.

Tom Shields, Municipal Court jury commissioner, said the scam occurs all over the country and finds its way to Ohio every couple of years.

His office recently became aware of several people who were called by someone posing as a Franklin County deputy. The fake deputy told them a warrant had been issued for their arrest for missing jury duty. To avoid arrest, the caller said, the person must make electronic payment of a fine.

“We never do follow-up by phone,” Shields said. “If you get a call, it’s a scam.”

The court has posted a warning about the scam on its website. Anyone who receives such a call should contact the court’s jury commission at 614-645-7726.

• • •

You know what’s unsettling? Hearing music from 1991’s serial-killing classic The Silence of the Lambs come across the police scanners.

Last Tuesday afternoon, the song Goodbye Horses by one-hit wonder Q Lazzarus played across a Columbus police frequency. If you’ve seen the film (You haven’t seen the film? Get thee to streaming!), it’s the song that plays as killer Buffalo Bill dances in front of a mirror in his moth-infested house of horrors.

We missed the initial point that the airing officer might have been making, but it apparently was lost on the listening officer. His response was one of general befuddlement.

“The movie probably came out before you were born,” the airing officer said. He sounded dejected. We commiserate, old-timer.

• • •

This week’s assignment: Visit the Columbus police Facebook page to view the videos of three burglars creeping around an East Side yard and house. We’ll give you two good reasons.

First, the home-surveillance video is high-quality. If you know these guys, you’ll recognize them right away.

Second, these clowns are ridiculous. In one of the three videos, a man sneaks through a yard doing his best impression of John Belushi burglarizing college Dean Vernon Wormer’s office in Animal House (another classic film).

The burglar’s accomplices, meanwhile, had dug deep in their closets to find their most-nonsensical headgear. One of them, on that hot Friday afternoon, chose a tuque — one of those woolen knit ski caps with comically long tassels.

The other burglar sported what appears to be either a bicycle helmet or a fighter pilot’s cap worn by the likes of World War I flying ace and homegrown hero Eddie Rickenbacker.

All three scamper to and fro in a hallway in front of another camera, reminding us of a Scooby Doo chase scene.

The videos have attracted a good deal of attention on Facebook, where one commenter offered police a possible lead into the identities of the thieving trio:

“Their names are Larry, Moe and Curly.”

Dispatch Reporters Randy Ludlow and John Futty contributed to this report.