Well it’s day five of Blapril and it was looking like summer where I am today. The sun was shining and it was even warm enough for me to wear shorts. Although in all honesty the shorts were 50% laundry crisis, 50% weather if I’m being honest as my friend Muriel spilled a hot chocolate all over my everyday jeans and I didn’t feel like wearing my Cher Lloyd Primark jeans to Ikea today.

Anyway, the other reason it felt like summer is that a new Dragonette single has found its way online and is predictably AMAHZING! It is literally aural sunshine! I know I’ve said this before but HOW ARE DRAGONETTE NOT MASSIVE!?!?! Hopefully after “Hello” last year – to recap: Amazing on a global scale but more a Martin Solveig thing than a Dragonette one – they will finally break into the big time. If this single is anything to go by they are set to explode this summer.

The new Nicola Roberts video has hit youtube and while you may be sick of me banging on about her you can’t deny it’s nothing short of AMAZING. Nicola Roberts is everything you want in a popstar and I am currently completely obsessed. Look at this single cover:

IT’S NICOLA ROBERTS DRAPED ATOP THE WASHING MACHINES AT A LAUNDRETTE.

Seriously, you can’t deny (her biology, lolz) that kind of amazingness! The song is a co-write with the ludicrously talented Dragonette and deserves to be number one worldwide until sometime in early 2013.

Having said that, the album drops on September 26 – which I have now dubbed CE Day as it’s titled Cinderella’s Eyes – and I’m sure I’ll be overrun with more Nicola goodness to be obsessed with at that point.

There is literally nothing more exciting in the musical sphere at the minute. Not unlike Robyn, Nicola Roberts is effortlessly straddling the worlds of hipster cool and mainstream melodies. September 26 cannot come quickly enough.

In For The Kill is far and away the best song of the year, although I still prefer the original leaked version to the one that went on to dominate airwaves in the UK. Shark in the Water is a song that deserves so much more love than it received during its less than stellar chart run and really is amazing in every possible way. While it was supposed to be the year of Little Boots her thunder was rather stolen by the aforementioned La Roux and the explosion of Gaga, with Bad Romance being far and away her greatest track to date. A couple of Canadian entries at 8 and 9 with the indomitable Dragonette and Big Onion heroes The Autistics.

Interestingly, or not, four of the top five acts have names beginning with L. Leona Lewis was clearly hoping that by utilising a double L – and celebrity alphabet game reversing – name she would be well in for the top spot but she didn’t (x) factor in the fact that she has no personality which undoubtedly hurts her chances.

Girls Aloud’s rather unfortunate single edit of the over 6 minute epic that is Untouchable is the only reason that release didn’t crack the top 10 and Lily Allen’s The Fear proved that the gobby little shit is actually a real talent that can craft a killer pop song – what’s all this talk of her retiring? Also, what the fuck happened to the Black Eyed Peas this year? I’d always sort of enjoyed them (Shut Up, etc.) on the periphery but this year they blew up with the killer I Gotta Feelin – LA HEIM! – and Meet Me Halfway. Also, Beyonce’s Halo is EPIC.

The Glee cast recording of Don’t Stop Believin’ is probably in my top 5 recordings of the year but I don’t technically consider it a single so I’m leaving it here at the bottom. Separate but better than anything from Leona down.

so yesterday was an amazing day. i’m going to try and distil its amazingness into a blog post here but i doubt that i can fit that much amazing into one blog post being perfectly honest. although in fairness yesterday morning i probably would’ve doubted that one day could contain the amount of amazingness that yesterday did indeed contain.

first of all i got up and decided that a haircut was in order. i’d previously had my haircut at a place on denman but i wasn’t particularly thrilled with the results so in my ongoing search for a new barber i ventured to the barber shop on burrard street. i went in and sat down waiting for the next available barber among the 5 or so older gentleman already tending to customers. but when it came my turn to sit at the barber chair a cute young man appeared as if from nowhere to tend to my every need. then he was irish and kept responding to everything i said with “grand.” and i looked amazing. and he seemed super-appreciative of a $2 tip. in short, BEST HAIRCUT EVER. grand.

so now i’m on my way to the library and it’s raining so i’m wandering up seymour ‘neath my mini rainbow umbrella and what do i see coming towards me but a woman holding a giant rainbow umbrella. so rainbow umbrella lady and i share a brief but decidedly noteworthy moment and both smile and giggle at our matching manner of wet weather protection. also grand.

the library was amazing, too. mainly just because i love being at the library. the central branch of the vancouver public library is the kind of building that is a pleasure to visit. it’s got this huge indoor courtyard and i love it. also, when i departed the library the heavens had parted and it was suddenly sunny and clear outside which allowed me to enjoy my hot dog al fresco after my subsequent trip to the amazing downtown costco. (it’s underground right downtown!)

after my delicious hot dog i headed home only to find my upstairs neighbours returning from the liquor store, so obviously – despite the fact that it was only 4pm – it was time to start drinking. at this point fallon and i headed upstairs to get down to the business of drinking at jon and val’s apartment. while there we also decide to order pizza and create what can only be described as a near perfect pizza combination from megabite. steak, bacon and mushroom. it was literally grand. delicious.

so after a few hours of drinking fallon and i headed to the dragonette concert which was held at a place called venue, which despite serving overpriced drinks – not that surprising in fairness, – was amazing. i decided that before the show kicked off i needed to get in a quick slash and slipped off to the men’s room to do just that. so there are two others guys at the urinals and now we’re spaced evenly across six urinals, with me at the far left, with one lady – for some reason? – in stall at the end.

anyway, one of the dudes on my right mentions something about “to the left” and the lady in the stall breaks into a quick “to the left, to the left” so i promptly follow-up with “everything you own in a box to the left” and pretty soon we’re all belting out a rousing bathroom version of beyonce’s “irreplaceable.” AMAZING!!!!

after that very exciting bathroom experience i went back to fallon and we enjoyed the amazing DRAGONETTE! IT. WAS. EPIC!!!! dragonette are just f*cking killer live. they’re amazing. like all their songs are amazing and somehow become even more amazing live. everything about dragonette is perfection. it was an incredible night which was followed by a few more drinks, a bit of amelie and an episode and a half of destroyed in seconds back in the upstairs neighbours’ apartment. seriously, a near perfect day.

1. i was at lunch the other day with my friend eli – at the templeton on granville which, incidentally, was amazing – when we were reminiscing about the big onion: the city of champions that is edmonton. now, to be clear, i rather love edmonton and, particularly, its people, many of whom i consider among my best of friends. i remember last year that the city was looking for a new slogan as “city of champions” lost its ring sometime in the early-90s and clearly needs to be retired. anyway, somewhat obviously from the above picture, we settled on “the hangover city.”

in fairness, it sounds a lot more derisive now that i’m putting it in writing when it was not necessarily intended to be pejorative. there is just something about edmonton and it’s fabulous summers followed by months of winter cold that seems to fit this nomer. i do think it would at least generate some interest in the city and is at least five thirds better than calgary’s “heart of the new west” slogan, which being blunt is crap. TRUTH!

2. catch phrase (the game) is on sale at toys r us this week for 25 bucks and i recommend that everyone go and purchase it. it is amazing. basically words come up on the embedded screen and you have to get your team to guess the word without saying it. it is incredibly simple but equally fun and i’ve never played a bad round of catch phrase. part of it’s charm has to be that the whole thing is one hand-held electronic device so there’s no pieces to lose and it’s super easy to break out.

one night we played catch phrase and jo-ann had to make ryan say “the unsinkable molly brown” so she said “the fat woman from the titanic” to which ryan replied “kate winslet.” GOLD! during another game of catch phrase – which i did not actually witness first hand but am now going to shamelessly re-tell as though i did – the word was “baby” so someone said “what ramona and josh would have if she were pregnant” to which emanual blurted out “an abortion.” THIS GAME IS LIKE AN AMAZING MOMENT MACHINE LITERALLY TURNING DRY EVENINGS WITH CRUSTY CANAPES INTO THE STUFF OF LEGEND! seriously, 25 dollars. BUY IT!

3. the dragonette album is amazing. AMAZING! i will probably write more about this later but i just wanted to note it now.

4. i have just discovered the amazing-ness of skype. HOW DID I NOT ABOUT THIS? it’s free, easy and amazing. how is it free? amazing.

5. there is a commercial on right now trying to encourage people to see an optometrist and one woman says she has poor night vision and her optometrist figured out that she actually has cataracts despite being young. somewhat obviously i’m now worried that i have cataracts. DAMN YOU TELEVISION!

so as i mentioned before, DRAGONETTE ARE BACK! anyway, i fucking love dragonette and not only is there is new album hitting canadian stores this month, but dragonette are also heading out on tour. i already have tickets to the vancouver show next month and i’m very very excited. i missed their last proper show in edmonton because it was during exams. although ryan and i did catch them during capital ex, and i got my sunglasses case signed by the band, which was fabulous, obviously.

above is the video for ‘fixin to thrill.’ it is fantastic. [ryan, watch it all the the through and then tell me you don’t love this song, the video really makes it extra amazing]

anyway, dragonette’s last album, the aptly titled ‘GALORE’ was about two years ahead of it’s time containing as it did intelligent, though-provoking, full on balls to the wall pop music, that has since started to creep into the zeitgeist. here is a clip of dragonette performing ‘black limousine’ and ‘i get around,’ from said album, live. [dan, watch until at least after the 2:32 mark where some really killer guitar action takes place]

dragonette also have a new song called ‘pick up the phone’ which is, some what predictably, amazing, and attached below. how are dragonette not the biggest band on the planet? everything about them is truly fantastic. how come people would line up and pay to watch bono and co. drop a (u) number two but dragonette remain ever so slightly under the radar? we really need some pop justice on this front oh merciful pop gods.

finally, just because i can’t resist martina and the boys, here is another song from dragonette’s upcoming second album. entitled ‘gone too far’ it is a fabulous fiddle affair and i adore it.

there are some events in pop music that you (or rather, i) look forward for months, or even years in advance, as they come along like clockwork. girls aloud albums, for instance, have historically been a yearly affair coming in the october/november period every year, somewhat like an early christmas present. the strutting, bombastic return of dragonette, however, has caught me completely by surprise despite the fact that i have been re-visiting first (f*cking amazing) album ‘galore’ quite a lot recently.

a brief history lesson.
dragonette released one of the best albums of the decade, ‘galore’, way back in 2007 to much critical fanfare but much less than deserved sales. they are also brilliant live. end of.

anyway, below is the free and totally legal (!) album version of forthcoming single ‘fixin to thrill’ taken from an also forthcoming album with the same title. the song is full of dirty strutting synths, and it at once totally new and screams dragonette. AMAZING! INCENDIARY! I HAVE HEARD THE FUTURE AND IT IS THIS SONG!

so as a gay i’ve been listening to both madonna’s ‘hard candy’ album and cyndi lauper’s ‘bring ya to the brink’ and i feel the need to compare the two.

first up: hard candy.

so to start the cover sucks. madonna looks about 90 and airbrushed to within an inch of her life. definitely not her best. the producers she chose for this album also seem a bit passe. like timbaland is last year’s news madge; aren’t you supposed to find little-known, up-and-coming producers and exploit them for your own gain? seriously, timba’s like the village bike, everyone’s had a ride and a number 1. madonna should always define the now, and this feels like 5 minutes ago, not a good start. overall, the music’s pretty good except the insufferable ‘incredible’ (which is like ‘hey you pt. 2’). the best track on the album is ‘she’s not me’ which is an absolute stormer. there is definitely something immediate about a great madonna song that i love. other standouts are ‘the beat goes on’ and ‘heartbeat.’ ‘hard candy’ is pretty good, it’s just not as exciting as ‘confessions on a dancefloor’ or even ‘american life’ which at least took some artistic risks.

the challenger: bring ya to the brink

the title may be a bit shit but the album cover is head and shoulders above what madonna’s got on display. it’s arty and gay without putting off too many straight people: perfection. as for production duties cyndi drafted in only the hippest of electro and pop producers to give the album a very ‘now’ feel, which obviously means synths-a-kimbo. we’re talking the likes of basement jaxx, kleerup and the fantastic dragonette: a truly stellar line-up that doesn’t disappoint. ‘bring ya to the brink’ is a total revelation: every track is stellar with lead single ‘into the night life’ being the most immediate and infectious. my current favourite track is the quirky ‘rocking chair’ but other high-points include the dragonette produced ‘grab a hold’ and the slower-paced ‘rain on me.’ the album as a whole is eclectic without being confused and it brings cyndi back into the spotlight with a bang.

conclusion:
cyndi kicks madonna’s ass. the cover’s better, the producers are better, the music’s better, the music’s more current and more gay. the cynic in me suggests that perhaps cyndi just made an album for the gays while madonna was trying to re-capture her straight american audience. the bitch in me suggests that cyndi was right and madonna wrong. either way for best album from a gay icon of 2008, my vote goes to cyndi.