Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

sometimes i hate myself

I feel like every day it's getting harder and harder to cope with the loss of my baby. Sometimes I blame myself for what happened. Since I don't know why my baby died I drive myself crazy thinking of what it could be that killed her. I didn't take my prenatal vitamins everyday, maybe I didn't eat the right food. My baby didn't just die for no reason. I still remember the last day I felt her move - I knew something wasn't right bc she wasn't moving much but I waited until the next day to go to the hospital. I just keep thinking she would be alive if I would have went to the hospital earlier when I KNEW something wasn't right. But now she's gone and it's too late. I just never thought this could happen to me, it never even crossed my mind. I just always thought once you made it past 12 weeks everything would be ok, but it's not. Why didn't anybody tell me this could happen to me? Life is so unfair and I'm so mad I have all these pink clothes and a brand new swing and no baby. Thursday is my due date and I dont even want to think about it. I miss my baby girl so much.

I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I have felt all of these emotions and still do at times. The guilt is really hard to deal with. Just remember ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! I know it is hard to believe, but it is the absolute truth. I had no clue something like this could happen either.

I think we all feel like this at one time or another. I did the same thing with my son. He wasnt moving much but I rationalized that he was just changing his routine and I refused to believe something might be wrong, but looking back my gut feeling was that something was wrong. I think about meds I took during pregnancy for early contractions, and for a bladder infection and did they cause a problem? But no amount of wondering will bring our babies back. We did the best we could with what we knew at the time. We didnt do anything wrong. We werent taking street drugs, or drinking everynight or being reckless. We loved and still love our babies. My sons heart stopped and we will never know why. Go ahead and feel your grief, you need to. But dont put more grief on top of it by blaming yourself. You deserve to be easy on yourself. Hugs Michelle

I agree with the previous replies. The fact is that if we really would've known with certainty, and could've prevented our babies deaths, we would have! Be gentle to yourself. I am just realizing that it wasn't my fault either. I trusted doctors who were supposed to know better. I really thought I was doing everything possible to have a healthy baby. There is no way to go back and change what happened, as much as I wish that I could. We don't assume naturally that this kind of thing will happen, but rather dream about what the baby will be like and what day they will be born. I am sorry you have to feel this too. ((Hugs)) Lisa

I know how you feel. I keep going over and over in my mind. What did i do wrong?? DId i eat too much junk food? DId i sleep weird? Was it my medication? These questions are endless. I also noticed my baby's movements had slowed a little but I was told that it was normal when they got bigger b/c they had less room so i didn't think much about it. Now i kick myself everyday for not catching on. It just never entered my mind that this could happen! I thought that once I was past 24 weeks, and the baby is viable outside the womb, that I was out of the woods!!! The truth is though, we are not psychic, and we are not God, and if we had known for sure that our baby's lives were in jeopardy, we would have been to the hospital in 5 seconds flat, so please do not blame yourself, its is not your fault. We all love our babies soooo much, and we would all move mountains to have them here with us now. Be kind to yourself.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.