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Rich guy seeks girl, must be virgin: Read this ad

SHANGHAI — It was only a matter oftime before money transformed that mostintimate of private domains, love and marriage,as it has almost everything else in thisbooming country. And it stands to reason thatthe shock of the new would be felt first herein Shanghai, the throbbing heart of Chinese capitalism.

It all began with an advertiser and a lawyer,sitting with a friend who had made hisfortune in auto parts and was distraught over hisrecent divorce and unable to find a suitablenew bride. Place an ad, said the ad man, halfin jest, but the lawyer took him seriously andput an announcement in a newspaper about a billionaire seeking a virgin bride.

In China's currency, the yuan, a billionaire's worth shrinks substantially, to about $125 million. But that is still a lot of money, enough in this case to attract a flash flood of 600 applications, complete with photographs and detailed personal information.

That was whittled down to 100 candidates, of whom 20 were interviewed and one was selected, finally producing man and wife.

That first virgin bride ad campaign, whichoccurred two years ago, has given rise to amini-industry: Hundreds of supposedlysuper-rich lonely-hearts and hordes of youngwomen, often professing to be virgins and hopingto meet well-heeled men.

The lawyer, a25-year-old Shanghai resident named He Xin,said he had already been approached by more than 50billionaires and had been retained by severalof them, including three he has found bridesfor, in a process that He said takes aboutthree months from start to finish. Along theway, He has also found a bride for himself- a woman who was passed over by one of his clients.

Today, He proudly claims his work forbillionaires has spawned a new line of law inChina, lifestyle law, a personalized servicecatering to people with means. Notincidentally, it has spawned a debate, too,about rapid social change in China andespecially about the changing place of womenin society. Since the beginning of theeconomic reform era 27 years ago, perhaps noarea of Chinese life has undergone more changethan the mores of dating, love and marriage.

During the long decades of hard-line communism,these practices were updated with an infusionof Maoist social control methods. Work brigadecommissars, rather than parents and clans,decided who could date and marry and who couldnot. Neighborhood committee bosses even had asay in the matter.

Only recently has the ideaof living together unmarried gained limited social acceptance in China.

In a breathtakingly short period of time,though, sexual and romantic opportunity hassprung up everywhere in a society that stillthinks of itself as conservative in suchmatters. Prostitutes work openly in almostevery hotel in China. The Internet has madepossible everything from online dating to nudeWeb cam dancing, sprouting a vocabulary all itsown, like MBA, or married but available. Unsurprisingly, divorce rates in cities like Shanghai are skyrocketing.

When the newspaper Nanfang Zhoumo, orSouthern Weekend, ran a report recently aboutbillionaires seeking brides, online discussiongroups were flooded with commentary fromreaders, often focusing on the matter-of-factcomments of one woman who applied but waspassed over by a billionaire.

"Isn't thepurpose of saving our virginity to get a good price?" she asked.

Many readers deplored the woman's response,condemning people like her as little betterthan prostitutes. "I'm also a well-educatedwoman with a good figure, too, but I hate thiskind of thing," one reader wrote. "People'sbeauty derives from their inner qualities, nottheir virginity. Those girls have sold themselves like cheap merchandise."

Others ridiculed the billionaires. "If theythink they can get a pure-hearted girl this way,they are really mistaken," wrote anothercommentator. "To me, the way people are takingvirginity as a commodity these days is such a sad thing."

In an interview, however, another young woman,who had replied to a billionaire's ad but waspassed over, offered a stout defense of herchoice, one that amounted to a brief forpersonal and sexual freedom.

"Things aredifferent from before because everyone has aright to choose," said the applicant, WangYue, who said that in a physical relationship feelings can always be developed later.

"It's very easy for me to support myself. Without men, my life wouldn't be hard.But if I'm standing on a giant's shoulder, I can see further."

The confusion over love, sex and marriage isprobably a passing phase, one expertsays.

"China is a society in transition, andfor the last 20 years, people have beenbasically going after material things," saidYang Xiong, an expert of youth culture at theShanghai Academy of Social Sciences. "Give itanother 20 years, and I would say very fewpeople would pursue billionaires just for theirmoney. Right now this seems like a fresh topicfor discussion, but in 10 years nobody will give a damn."

Even in a China that is becoming more money-driven by the day, Shanghai, with its glitterand flash, has a very special reputation. The women of the city, inparticular, are often spoken of as being drivenconsumers and the most demanding of wives.

In several days of interviews among youngwomen here, though, it became evident that thebillionaires out to buy love have their workcut out for them. One after another, youngwomen said the verdict of their hearts was moreimportant than the cost of their wardrobe or the weight of their purse.

"I have to take time to see if a man is quitesuitable for me or not, because life is a longcourse," said Su Jie, 23, an airlinestewardess as she ate a Korean barbecue with a friend.

"I can make money formyself, maybe not so much, but enough," she said. "It'smore important to me that we understand each other."