Here's to the hole that never heals,
The more you rub it the better it feels,
And all the soap this side of Hell,
Won't wash away that fishy smell,
...
...
Syphyllis, blue balls, crabs and lice,
I've had them all by Jesus Christ,
Gentlemen,
The Queen

Here's to the women that I've loved
and all the ones I've kissed.
As for regrets, I just have one;
that's all the ones I've missed.
Oh, women's faults are many,
us men have only two:
Every single thing we say,
and everything we do.

"drinking is never the answer, it is the question. The answer is always yes"

This toast is a good one when everyone at the table is drunk except for one (or a few) persons who start to complain that the rest should stop drinking. It is extra good if the Yes part is yelled by all inebriated ones.