Most women enjoy best sex as they approach 40 because they fear that their "biological clock" is ticking, say researchers.

A new study has found women are more likely to have sexual fantasies and affairs in their 30s and early 40s than in their younger years, despite the fact their bodies may be in decline.

According to the researchers, this is because as women approach the milestone they may sense that their "window of opportunity" to have kids is closing and their fertility is declining, 'The Daily Telegraph' reported.

And, this instinctual reaction is an increased appetite for sex, said the researchers who have based their findings on a survey of 900 women.

The survey divided respondents into three groups – those at their most fertile (aged 19 to 26), those whose fertility was declining (aged 27 to 45) and those who were approaching or had reached the menopause.

When it comes sharing sexual fantasies, even the ''closest'' couples find it hard to communicate their innermost ''naughty acts'' to each other. But if you're one of those who don't want to miss out on the fun, then here are few tips to get your mind ''moving''.

Not many couples are able to act out their sexual fantasies even if they are pro in the sack. The problem-How to share your wild thoughts? What would your partner think about you? How would he/she react? Will they comply or not?

Such questions and many others flood the minds of many sexually active adults who want to explore their wildest of sexual dreams, reports Fox News.

While sharing lewd, obscene, or sensuous scenes with your partner can pose to be a big problem, it also has an upside- not only can you divulge your sexual desires but could even get a sneak peek into your lover's libidinous thoughts as well.

So if you want to spice things up by sharing it all, sex and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright's guide will prove a saviour for you.

And she says that before taking the plunge and share, you should first ask yourself the following questions:

1. What's my motivation?

Why do you want to share this fantasy? What turns you on about sharing? Do you hope the sharing can be a form of foreplay or something more? Are you hoping that your fantasy will be fulfilled? Will it be advantageous to your relationship to share, revving up sex for the both of you?

2. Will sharing diffuse my own pleasuring?

Many lovers like to have a few tricks up their sleeves in bed, and their private fantasies are often what makes or breaks the sexual moment. Whether it's getting through a sex act or working your way to orgasm, will sharing take away from how your fantasy benefits you now? Will you be able to enjoy having the cat out of the bag?

3. Am I in the right kind of relationship for sharing?

Not every relationship can weather such intimate sharing. You need to be in a secure, trusting relationship. Your sexual union should be able to provide you with the support and safety needed to get over any nervousness and anxiety, and to field any reactions. Lovers need to make each other feel accepted and emotionally safe. This includes being able to refuse a request to act out a fantasy without putting the other down.

4. Can my partner handle my fantasies?

Some lovers can't handle hearing about certain sex acts, especially if they involve "who" you''re fantasizing about. Partners who are sex negative or uncomfortable with sexual intimacy in general are not going to be the best candidates for such sharing. So consider what your lover may be open to and which types of fantasies may cause more harm than good.

5. Am I ready to hear my partner's fantasies?

Lovers tend to expect reciprocity when sharing fantasies. It's usually not a one-way street, so you have to consider how you might react to your partner's fantasies. Can you go there? How can you provide the same safety you're hoping for?

After the self-questioning comes the sharing part, so think long and hard about when to open up. And don't expose a fantasy after a hot romp, for it may not be received as well as one meant to arouse desire.

Let your partner know that you want to share something and explain your reasons for wanting to share.

Finally, remind your lover that your relationship means more than any fantasy. Your partner should not feel undesirable at all.

A Hollywood hunk, ex-lovers, a blue film scene and even what to buy in a grocery store—these are things that women think of while having sex.

Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets.

Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that during sex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash, what they've got to buy at Tesco's or those shoes they love in Selfridges.

And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of.

"A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she can't help thinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and Jeremy Paxman," the Sun quoted her as saying.

"I've been married twice and had many lovers and to be honest, with past lovers I've been so bored in bed, I've taken to compiling mental grocery lists and calculating exactly how many shoes are in the wardrobe (82 pairs)," said author Kathy Lette, 51.

"Most wives are taken for granted. But how we'd LIKE to be taken is by a muscular-thighed Adonis with pecs appeal.

"Luckily sex with Johnny Depp is only the flick of a light switch away. Ah, Johnny - a man whose sex appeal is so deadly it should be registered at police headquarters as a lethal weapon.

"Doing the horizontal tango with George Clooney is also amazing - if only he'd been with me at the time!" she added.

Sarah Millican, 33, is in a relationship, and she said: "I never walk out of a film at the cinema. I'm the same with sex. I always think it might get better. To be honest, as long as I've got a bag of Maltesers, I'm not going anywhere."

For the first time, scientists claim to have identified the symptoms associated with what has been termed late-onset hypogonadism or 'male menopause' caused by a reduction in testosterone production in some aging men. However, unlike female menopause, which affects all women, the male menopause is relatively rare, affecting only two per cent of the elderly men, and is often linked to poor general health and obesity, say the scientists. A team from Manchester University, Imperial College London and University College London has based its findings on an analysis of the testosterone levels of 3,369 men between the ages of 40 and 79 years from eight European nations. The scientists asked details about their sexual, physical and psychological health and found that only nine of the 32 candidate symptoms were actually associated with low testosterone levels, the most important being the three sexual symptoms -- decreased frequency of morning erection, decreased frequency of sexual thoughts and erectile dysfunction. Their research concluded that the presence of all three sexual symptoms, together with low testosterone levels, was required to establish a diagnosis of male menopause though other non-sexual symptoms may also be present. These other symptoms included three physical symptoms -- an inability to engage in vigorous activity such as running or lifting heavy objects, an inability to walk more than a km, inability to bend, kneel or stoop -- and three psychological symptoms -- loss of energy, sadness, and fatigue.

If you think Viagra and other erectile drugs are passport to satisfying sexual encounters, think again. Dr Mahinder Watsa warns you of their side-effects It's a growing phenomenon to find all health related issues being prescribed a pill. Common cold, a mild headache, to generally feeling down and out, everything comes with a pill to snap you out of it. Sex then, is no exception. Increasingly, we find young men, with no apparent major sexual problem, taking to drugs meant to help the ones suffering from erectile dysfunction. To make matters worse, hardly anyone realise the adverse repercussions of such self-medication. A temporary boost in their sexual performance, may land their long-term wellness in jeopardy. The larger picture The fast food generation is slowly forgetting the art of love and depend excessively on easily available drugs to whip-up their flagging sex life. Scientists may credit Sildenafil as ‘the magic bullet to help couples have deeper and more satisfying sexual encounters.’ But the truth is, the drug doesn't cause an automatic erection. For it to be effective, mental and tactile stimulation and foreplay engagement is required. Ask the pro Vatsayana of the Kamasutra fame has suggested many ways to stimulate desire and performance for sexual happiness. He was innovative enough to come up with seven different ways of kissing, eight varieties of touch, four methods of stroking the body and eight sounds that may be emitted during sex and foreplay. How can drugs, meant to delay ejaculation or correct erectile dysfunction, replace the bond that lovers feel when they touch, kiss, cuddle and care for each other? Blame your priorities A survey among youngsters revealed an interesting facet. In terms of priorities, a good career was ranked the highest (by almost 60 per cent), followed by social service (18 per cent) and then a happy marriage (13 per cent). If your priorities are lopsided how do you expect to be sexually satisfied? Sex and love aren't water-tight compartments in a marriage. One aspect invariably affects the other. If you don’t make time for your lover, how do you expect to sexually and emotionally connect? The risk While overuse of any drug always comes with risks or side-effects, an over usage of Sildenafil can lead to a series of serious sideeffects such as addiction to the drug, headache and dizziness. Image makeover People still rely on the clichéd ‘macho’ image, with many men behaving as if their brains are located below their belts. Many mistakenly believe that if they take a tablet, they will perform better. Just one failure at sexual intercourse (which is a perfectly normal occurrence) may land them in wrongly using an erectile dysfunction drug. If they improve their lifestyle, get rid of misconceptions, modify priorities and work on their attitude, chances are that they would never require such drugs. The real reason To be sexually happy, one needn't join the ‘Erectile Dysfunction’ club. One of the following could be your reasons for the occasional non-performance: • Overeating and being obese • Alcohol, smoke or drug abuse • Guilt of an extramarital relationship • Pressure to perform with an extramarital partner • Overwork • Anxiety and tension • Lack of exercise • Problems in your sex life can also be side-effects to certain illnesses and disorders. In such cases, relying on erectile drugs can only make matters worse. In many cases, diabetes or cardiac problems are discovered when the person complains of ‘sexual problems’. • At times, drugs that are meant to correct disorders, disrupt normal sexual functioning leading to dysfunction issues. For instance, diuretics, anti-hypertensives and anti-convulsants, etc are known to have adverse effects on one's sex life. As awareness grows, physicians are now being careful during the prescription stage itself. Various studies are being carried out to study the relationship between these drugs and one’s sex life. When it’s actually needed Erectile dysfunction drugs may be required temporarily to regenerate interest. The inability to get a good erection in a young man causes unnecessary anxiety and tension and can even lead to suicide in extreme cases. The only instance where erectile drugs are useful (among normal adults) is to restore their confidence and show them they ‘can’ get an erection. No amount of drugs can help the couple to achieve sexual happiness. The key lies in solving interpersonal differences, believing in equal partnership and caring for each other’s wishes.

Love or no love, 'everyone is doing it' is the pitch for having sex. Virginity is primitive. One-night stands and no emotional baggage is cool. Marriages are perpetual decisions and live-in relationships are mainstream. And teenagers are not far behind. The trend to be in a relationship is now becoming an image liability among young peer groups and they feel irresistible pressure to confirm to what their friends are doing. Dr Anjali Chhabaria, clinical psychiatrist, based in Mumbai, mentions a case about a 13 year old girl who was in and out of relationships, yes even at that age! "The child herself wasn't happy being in these relationships. But felt compelled to do so because she wanted to be accepted as the hottest girl in her friend circle. And the numerous relationships that she got into was just to prove that point." In another case, Dr Pulkit Sharma, clinical psychologist, VIMAHNS tells us about a 14 year old boy who felt inferior because his classmates would constantly jab him for not having a girlfriend. "When friends discuss sex as 'great fun' peers begin to feel the pressure within and relate it directly with self image and self esteem," says he. Often sexual desire becomes the premise for a relationship. As Apurva Pandit, a post graduate psychology student recalls her early college days, "My friend would always complain of her boyfriend being too touchy. But since the relationship was new and it got her much-needed emotional support, she went along with it." Agrees Dr Pulkit Sharma, "Relationships where sexual needs are a priority are rampant today. There may not be a loud and clear demand for it, but mostly boys may subtly pressurise their partner for physical involvement." Amit (name changed), a software professional recalls his college days. Being the studious types, he was not keen on talking about sex or anything related. But one of his friends would explicitly indulge in sex talk. Since the incongruity was immense, this friend later shifted to another group and Amit got to know later, he went on to have numerous flings. Peer pressure and westernised media may have de-senitised people towards sexual relationships. But are mental and emotional capabilities to be forsaken? Warns Dr Dheerendra Kumar, a clinical psychologist, "Portrayal of western culture and media exposure has floated casual sex as a trend. Now there are condoms for twelve year old boys! But the situation can be a reverse if a girl gets pregnant. The same friend circle might refuse to accept her. And all of this can be extremely demanding on a person's mental health." Sense of morality and preparedness varies with different people, but impressions at a young age can impact an individual's whole life. Talking about a case, Dr Anjali says a 35 year old patient's reason for panic attacks was found to be linked to his teen years. "He was raised in a very promiscuous manner and to prove his masculinity, he slept with a girl at the age of sixteen. But since he couldn’t deliver, he took himself to be impotent and the fear of impotency depressed him all those years." Often in such cases people may end up feeling depressed or guilty. There could be irreversible personality changes as emotional upheavals of these kinds have tremendous impact on a person. Dr Dheerendra blames the narrow mindset that forbids parents from talking about sex with their children. With curiosity in the fast lane, such issues need to be addressed. "What parents need to understand is that sex education is important. And attitudes have to change," says Dr Anjali Chhbaria. Considering casual sex is at the verge of being internalised as a part of lifestyle in teen years, its urgent that parents catch up with their children just in time and not let teen years be a distressing period that can agonize a lifetime.

Orlando Bloom's girlfriend has some friendly dating advice to share with the opposite sex!

Australian model Miranda Kerr has offered men ten tips on how they can have romantic harmony with their partners and continue doing so.

Kerr, 27, told men's lifestyle website AskMen.com that usually it is the little things that count, and that no matter what, they should at all times be themselves and pay attention to their partner's needs.

She also said that staying healthy, showing affection and a willingness to pamper are also attractive qualities in the eyes of the fairer sex.

"In my experience, it is the random small gestures that I find the most romantic," the Sydney [ Images ] Morning Herald quoted her as telling the website.

"It could be something as simple as making me a cup of tea, or being given a foot massage while we are watching a movie at home after a long day at work."

"If more men made an effort to do these little things for their partner throughout their everyday life, they would be guaranteed to have a more romantic relationship," she added.

Growing numbers of people are finding their sex life suffers because they work too hard. Find out what you can do to redress the balance.

Working too hard can take its toll on your relationship.

Britain's long hours work culture means we are seeing an increasing number of people whose sex lives are going badly because of their jobs.

They say they are not making love as often as they used to and don't seem to have the energy for it either.

One high-powered exec told us: 'When I first moved in with my husband, we had sex almost every night. Now we only do it once a month. I think it's because both of us are exhausted.'

The effect of long hours on sex drive

Ebb and flow of desire

Less sex doesn't automatically point to a problem in the relationship.

Human desire tends to ebb and flow quite a bit.

Sometimes we feel really sexy and sometimes we don't.

Also, there is a natural tendency in relationships for sex to get less frequent as time goes by.

This is due to two things:

as the couple grow used to each other, the novelty of the relationship wears off

the desire for sex tends to decline with age, particularly for men.

A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine confirms that couples tend to have less sex as they get older, especially after the age of 50.

If you are tired, you are unlikely to have much strength left for sex - whether you are a man or a woman.

When a job is very stressful, the effect of that stress will be to diminish the amount of energy you have for sex.

You may be so stressed out, you don't even think of sex for quite long periods.

The above has always been true, but in recent years we would say long hours have become commonplace and this is having a damaging effect on a lot of people's sex lives.

We first noticed this among patients who work in the financial sector. Some of our clients start work at six in the morning, and carry on for more than 12 hours.

Often, they do not stop for lunch and many of them have a long commute at either end of the day.

So when we see a man or a woman who leaves home at 4.30am and gets back at 8.30pm, it's not surprising that they're likely to have trouble with their sex life.

Sexual difficulties caused by excessive work

No matter what your job, excessive work can cause the following sexual difficulties.

You will have less time for sex.

You will be tired so it may be difficult to summon up much interest.

You may find it more difficult to climax.

You will find it difficult to relax in bed.

If you're female, you may find it hard to produce adequate lubrication pre-intercourse.

If you're male, you may not be able to get erections easily.

Feelings of stress may make you less likely to give your partner sufficient romance and love play.

You will probably opt for doing the same things during sex.

Your partner may show disappointment or even anger towards you because of these work-induced symptoms.

Letting things continue as they are could lead to the breakdown of your relationship.

If work is affecting your love life, you need to do something about it fast. Doing nothing and just hoping things will sort themselves out is folly.

What changes can I make?

Short of giving up your job, there are no instant or magical solutions. But everyone can make small changes in their lives – no matter how busy they are.

These changes need to be ones that will bring some sort of balance into your lifestyle that does not exist currently. Such changes should help your health as well as your love life.

1. Be honest with your partner

The first thing you can do is to be honest with your partner.

We have had clients who have no desire for sex on weekdays. What they want during the week is a loving companion who will snuggle up to them and listen to what has happened in their day, but not demand sex.

If the busy person has never discussed this with their partner, it can cause a lot of upset and rowing because, understandably, the other person tends to feel rejected.

It may not be ideal to only have sex at the weekends or during holidays, but at least if both parties know this, there will be fewer unrealised expectations and fewer quarrels. In other words, the relationship should become more relaxed.

2. Give your partner some attention

It has to be said that honesty is not going to be enough to fix a rocky relationship, unless you pay your partner some real attention. He or she needs to feel affirmed and important – despite the paucity of sex.

3. Think about how you talk to your partner

It's easy to take workplace language into the home, but it can be abrupt and terse. Try not to bark out instructions to your beloved.

Use the journey home from the office to unwind and to get into a softer frame of mind. Instead of working on your laptop all the way, read a book or do a Sudoku puzzle.

You need to change gear from working mode to something a little more empathetic and human if you are to have a healthy romantic life at home.

4. Don't let work encroach on weekends and holidays

If you want to maintain your relationship, your partner will want to feel that you put him or her first at weekends and holidays. This means a complete change of pace.

Try not to bring work home or to keep checking your emails – and switch off your mobile phone.

5. Make sex special

When you do make love, try to wind down first so that you are in a more relaxed frame of mind. Partners do not want to feel that they're being used as a substitute for quick masturbation and all you care about is a swift climax.

Partners want to feel cared for and loved, so cuddle up together first or have a romantic meal. And then spend half an hour giving your loved one a massage, or have a bath or shower together.

6. Add variety in the bedroom

Try to vary your lovemaking. In our experience, very busy people tend to get into a set sexual pattern. They find a routine that works and is fast - and then use it every time.

This is boring and unimaginative. If you keep doing it, it's likely you'll both go off sex and this can spell doom for your relationship.

Lifestyle changes to reduce stress

You also need to make some lifestyle changes that will benefit your mental and physical health – and impact positively on your love life.

Eat breakfast

It is crazy to skip breakfast when it only takes three minutes in the microwave to make some porridge. This is a good way to start the day.

Oats give you a slow-release of energy and line your stomach before a tension-packed day. Or eat some muesli or another healthy cereal. If you can't face that, at least eat a couple of bananas.

Take a lunch break

You may say no-one in your office takes lunch, but why not be the exception? If you can get out of the workplace for half an hour and get some fresh air, you will feel more relaxed.

On days when you have to eat in the office, try ordering in salads, fruit and nuts. This is good fuel for your hard working body.

Drink more water

Make full use of the water cooler. People often get more tense and irritable when they are dehydrated. You will feel better if you drink water all day and cut down your coffee intake to a maximum of two or three cups a day.

Exercise more

Somehow you need to get some exercise. If you look carefully at your timetable, you should be able to find the odd half hour where you can fit in a workout or go for a swim.

If none of this is possible, get off the bus or train two stops early or park your car a few streets away and walk to work. At the office, take stairs instead of lifts between floors.

What if I don't have time to make these changes?

When you are busy and your career is going places, you probably feel you must put work first.

But unless you strive to bring some balance into your life - and you find the time to be loving and close to anyone who matters - you may find that your life begins to feel rather empty and meaningless, despite your healthy bank balance.

Too many Sex Babas are driving this reporter crazy; add to it a foreigner friend who is all crazy about sex. the lesson: Spirituality in sex ain't that easyLately, a 'spiritual quest' first-timer friend, who recently landed in India, has been complaining. "Now a days, whenever I think of sex, the images of the fornicating godmen crop up in my mind," she grumbles. "Is it something to do with Tantric Sex? " she questions. Holy high: In the blockbuster Avatar, Neytiri and Jake share spiritual intimacy through intertwined 'soul' tendrilsNot only these just-exposed ichchadhari babas are messing up with my friend's sex life and my normal life, but are also giving birth to a delusion about one of India's greatest gifts to the West. So dear friend, who landed from foreign shores with dog-eared books on Kamasutra, these men can give you a discourse on running a prostitution empire or grabbing acres of land successfully, but they have nothing to do with that thing called Tantric sex. To help you, I found out a number of theories depicting various viewpoints over the definition of Tantra. One of the popular ones states Tantra as a religious philosophy, in which 'Shakti' is the main deity of worship. It focuses on spiritual practices and ritualistic form of worship. Tantric sex evolved from early Hindu Tantra, as a sensible means of catalysing biochemical alteration in the human body to aid an enhanced sense of awareness. "And then, in the Sixties, it went West and came to be identified as a popular technique to heighten sexual well being," explained Dr. Vinod Chebbi, Director, The Medisex Foundation. So, today, Hollywood actress Scarlett Johansson has lengthy sex sessions with her actor boyfriend Josh Hartnett, while rapper P Diddy floors model Kim porter with Tantric sex sessions which last 30 hours! Practitioners focus on various techniques like mind focus, breathing, muscle contraction, spiritual sound energy projection and nutrition among others. "A lot of people from abroad, who are stressed and have a deteriorating marital life, come to us seeking guidance. Practiced in a correct way, it can solve a lot of marital problems and help one achieve a robust sex life," added Dr Chebbi. But I discovered unfortunately, it seems to have vanished from the very country where it originated. "There are a very few genuine practitioners who can guide in the correct way. We tried to look for workshops this season, and it landed us in Haridwar. And it didn't turn out the way we expected," disclosed Mitzi Gerber, who came to India with her husband from Germany and kept looking for someone to guide them on Tantric sex. Another Finnish couple did try contacting a spiritual healer whose 'expertise' was Tantric sex, but they realised she was someone who simply wanted to make a quick buck. "Today, we stick to books, and I feel they are a safe, sure medium," they said. Then, there are organisations like Tantrananda School of Tantra, that organise Tantra workshops, but they, too, have a word of caution for those looking to learn the art. "Go only to the genuine ones," cautions Guru Bhakti Shakti, who is behind the school. So, start with the books, instead of watching Sex Babas on TV and getting mystically muddled up. Nothing works as well. Grab these books before you grab 'em1. Desire: The Tantric Path to awakening, by Daniel Odier 2. The essence of Tantric sexuality, by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson 3. Kiss of the Yogini : Tantric Sex in its South Asian Contexts, by David Gordon Brown 4. Red Hot Tantra: Erotic Secrets of Red Tantra for Intimate, Soul-to-Soul Sex and Ecstatic, Enlightened Orgasms, by David Ramsdale and Cynthia W. Gentry 5. Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life, by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson 6. Tantra - Discovering the Power of Pre-Orgasmic Sex, byYogani

In order to feel more self-assured, attractive, and sexy in your own (bare) skin, you’re going to need to spend time doing things unclothed—besides just showering and having sex. I’m not suggesting anything extreme, just an assortment of activities to do, designed to gently nudge you out of your covered-up comfort zone.

The first date is a significant moment in any mating ritual—but it’s usually accompanied by sweaty palms, nervous excitement and an uncontrollable tendency to ramble. We’ve all been there. It’s no wonder we watched in awe as Andy Anderson demonstrated the top dating no-no’s in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. (Maybe we identified with them more than we care to admit!) If you want to make sure your first date leads to a second, toss that love fern aside, quit daydreaming about the wedding and check out these four essential tips:

1. Location is Everything

Sitting down to a quiet candlelit dinner can be completely daunting. Keep things social by opting for seats at the bar and ordering tapas to share—that way, you’ll also avoid the formality of sitting through a four-course meal. Don’t be afraid to get out of the restaurant scene altogether. Sign up for a wine tasting, check out an art exhibit or tee up for a round of mini-putt—they’re all great ways to take the pressure off the conversation.

2. Glam Gal

A sense of style can reveal a lot about a person, so announce yourself. Are you Bohemian? Edgy? Classic? Make sure you wear something he’ll remember. And show some skin! The temperatures may be dropping outside, but that’s no excuse to hide behind a turtleneck. Feeling attractive and sexy will build your confidence, and confidence is the most important accessory a girl can have.

3. Stay Positive

Just like laughing is contagious, smiles are too—and both can go a long way. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you. Keep the mood light (and your date at ease) by showing off those pearly whites. Chances are he is as nervous as you, so don’t hesitate to throw him a compliment—if you think he looks handsome, tell him!

4. Lighten Up

There’s no need to divulge work woes, family secrets or your dating past, so keep the conversation light by focusing on your date. Ask him about his job, hobbies or favourite travel destination. By taking an interest in him, you’re more likely to make a good impression. But be aware. If you’ve been blessed with the gift of gab, give yourself a breather every once in a while. Pauses in conversation are natural and can be a perfect opportunity to play up the body language: extended stares, flirty smiles or even a little game of footsy.

When you first fall in love, you can't imagine it will ever end. But as your relationship grows, the excitement and passion naturally ebb and flow - ebbing more often the longer you are together.

The secrets to lasting love are actually quite simple.

Read on to join the ranks of longtime lovers.

1. Touch

This sounds obvious but if you've been with your guy a while, you may notice that you don't touch him as often. In the early days, there's a lot of contact: you intentionally brush his arm in the movie theatre, you grab his knee under the table at dinner, you give him neck rubs, stroke his hair - you can't get enough of each other.

After a while, though, you may forget how important these sweet interactions are. Take the time now to cuddle, hug and hold hands. This is about communicating without words, and it will make your bond stronger.

2. Laugh

A good guffaw will get you through the good times and the bad. Watch funny movies and TV shows together, share inside jokes, find something funny about something every day. Studies have shown that laughter improves your health and the quality of your life. So get together with your guy and get the giggles.

3. Fight (fairly)

You won't always agree and sometimes the words you exchange won't always be entirely friendly - take heart: fighting is actually necessary in every good relationship.

The reverse - bottling up anger and frustration - will only turn you into a tense, festering partner, ready to blow at any moment. Definitely not a good conflict management strategy. So do yourself (and him) a favour, and don't be afraid of the occasional fight. But always fight fairly. Don't air every grudge you've ever held, and don't enumerate every single thing he's ever done wrong. Stick to the topic at hand, and don't sink to insults and hurtful remarks.

If you get nasty with your guy, he'll remember those words long after the fight is forgotten.

4. Date

Treat every date like it's the first one: buy a new outfit, take time with your makeup and hair, reserve a table at a fancy restaurant.

Treat each other the way you would on a first or second date, and you'll be surprised by how special and alive it makes both of you feel.

5. Snog

You may think you've already got this covered, but there are always new ways to spice up your sex life. If you do it routinely three times a week, get a little crazy and go for a fourth. Wake him up in the middle of the night for an erotic massage. Read something sexy together. Surprise him with some new lingerie (or accessories for the nightstand drawer).

Nurturing your time between the sheets is a way to stay playful and keep an intimate bond.

6. Compliment

Does your guy have a great butt, wonderful eyes, or does he fill out a t-shirt like no one else can? Maybe he's diligent about paying the bills on time, fixing plumbing problems or getting rid of telemarketers? Whatever it is he excels at, tell him.

It's so easy, in long term relationships, to focus on what he doesn't do, on what you wish he did better. Take a moment to point out the positive. Guys love compliments as much as we do. Plus, it's an active reminder of why you fell in love with him in the first place - and that will make you feel entirely grateful.

PG: Slip into something unexpectedly sexy.

Sure, sexy lingerie is, well, sexy. But another surprisingly sexy sight to guys is you—freshly showered, no makeup, says relationship expert Lainie Speiser, author of Hot Games. Who can resist a woman who’s just soaped, shaved and shampooed herself to perfection? If you live with your guy, take your time and make a ritual out of your shower. Leave the bathroom door cracked so he can catch a glimpse of you slathering lotion on your body. If you’re dating, greet him at the door just out of the shower, with your hair loosely tied back, and wear something feminine like a clingy spaghetti-strap slip.

PG: Give him goose bumps.

Vixenish back scratching is best left to romance novels and porn; a better way to stimulate your guy is with a light touch. The next time you’ve having sex, wrap your arms around him and gently drag your nails across his back, butt or thighs from top to bottom, applying as little pressure as possible. The slight touch will send shivers down his spine…and enhance the feeling of everything else.

PG-13: Sneak in double entendres.

Want to get your guy’s attention? Try using suggestive words—the kind with dual meanings—mixed into normal conversation, says relationship expert Steve Santagati, ofbadboysfinishfirst.com. Whether it’s your first or your 90th date, it’s a great way to get your guy thinking about sex. Ask him for a back rub because your neck isstiff. Or have him help you fill in a crossword puzzle that’s too hard. We know—it sounds like a ridiculous plan, but if you can get over the giggle factor, it could really pay off. “You may not understand why men like this kind of talk, but trust me, it will wake us up and get the juices flowing for foreplay,” Santagati says.

PG-13: Add an element of mystery to your date.

Next time you’re out to dinner or at a bar with your man, pretend to be someone else. Act like a would-be secretary at a job interview and say, “Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me. I feel I would get a lot of benefits from working under you,” suggests Speiser. He may laugh first, but he’ll eventually play along…and get turned on. Another option: When you return from the bathroom, purposely bump into him and pretend you’ve never met. Flirt with him as if it’s the first time you’ve laid eyes on each other. “It will arouse the both of you and breathe a new kind of excitement into a regular Saturday night,” she adds.

R: Create unconventional handcuffs.

Straddle your guy during your next bedroom session and begin to pull off his shirt. As it reaches his wrists, stop pulling. Grab the shirt with one hand (grasp the part in the middle between his arms) and use it to pin his wrists back to the bed like makeshift handcuffs. The more confident you are about doing it, the better. You’ll be in control, and he won’t have a clue what hit him. But he’ll like it.

R: Talk but don’t touch.

Try this for foreplay: Stare directly at your man when he’s lounging on the couch. “Ask him to tell you, in vivid detail, what he’d like to do to you, or vice versa,” says Santagati. Feel free to take your time, listen to music, drink a glass of wine—but don’t touch each other. See how long it takes before one of you can’t resist the temptation any longer.

R: Try a champagne kiss.

Remember that bottle of champagne you’ve had chilling in the fridge since New Year’s Eve? Now’s the time to use it—pour two glasses and sip casually. Then turn up the heat by straddling him, taking a gulp of bubbly and leaning over and kissing your man. As you do, “let a tiny amount of champagne trickle into his mouth,” says Tracey Cox, author ofSupersex. The fizzy texture and cool temperature will take your kiss to a new level of sexy.

R: Practice delayed gratification.

Next time you feel like snapping a naughty photo of yourself, don’t e-mail or text it to your man right way. Wait until you’re in the same room, restaurant or building and then go ahead and hit Send—it’s so unexpected that way! “It’s more effective than you would think because he’ll know he can’t do anything about it,” says Santagati. “The act of sex is best when anticipated and held off for a bit.”