Donald Trump Now Has The Most Ludicrous (Yet Expected) Reason For His F’d Up Hair

Donald Trump’s hair is almost as famous as his name. I once had the opportunity to lay eyes upon his feathery blonde plugs once, at the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump in NYC. The closest I ever got to his famous mane was about 25 feet but even from that distance it was a sight to behold. Unfortunately for Donald (and the world) the health and cleanliness of his world famous hair is in jeopardy, and in typical Donald Trump fashion he’s found the culprit of his misfortune and it has nothing to do with his aging body.

Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump says water regulations are making it difficult for him to keep his famed mane clean.
Asked about the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) “Waters of the United States” rule at a campaign event in Aiken, S.C., on Saturday, Trump said it significantly impairs his ability to rinse, lather and repeat.
“I’ll give you one regulation,” Trump said. “So I build, and I build a lot of stuff. And I go into areas where they have tremendous water. … And you have sinks where the water doesn’t come out.
“You have showers where I can’t wash my hair properly,” he added. “It’s a disaster.
“It’s true. They have restrictors put in. The problem is you stay under the shower for five times as long.”

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So the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and consequently Obama are sabotaging Trump’s iconic hair by not allowing him enough water to properly bathe himself. That’s fucked up. The dude’s a billionaire, if he wants to spend the rest of his life wasting water (and paying for it) then he should be allowed to pay for that privilege. It’s his hair, his life, and when he’s paying for it then it becomes TRUMP’S WATER.

In this same appearance Trump went on to discuss the protection of gun rights as well as the shooters from Paris, and you can read a full recap by clicking the link above and heading on over to TheHill.