Monday, February 21, 2011

The Early Bird Catches the Cranky Parents

This is what happens when I don't regularly post. Life backs up in my mind, and then there is an explosion post of ramblings that you all must glaze over and eagerly await the next Mommy Blogger's Blog in your Google Reader. But I do have some more pictures at the end. Not sure that's much consolation.

That whole amnesia parenting syndrome doesn't end when your mind erases your 3+ week tryst with the mesh underwear the hospital sends you home with after giving birth, or the first few weeks (in our case, months) of multiple night wakings.

"It wasn't THAT bad. I could do it again!"

Since Felix has been sleeping completely through the night consistently for some time, when he doesn't, it's like a hard slap in the face. WHAT.WAS.THAT?

And now my arsenal is short one, err, rather two weapons. Calvin and Hobbs.

Felix has 4 lumps in his back gums.

Shudder.

You parents know what that means. M-O-L-A-R-S. There is not follow-up to that statement. Been there, done that, and survived.

Felix is generally a happy kid. Even though they call him Mad Dog or Pig Pen at school, he is just a really outgoing happy fella. Until he teethes. And then Crankenstein emerges, and he wants to be held all of the time.

And then he started waking up at 5:40am or earlier every day about a week ago.

Two minutes after Miles wakes up. These kids don't even share a room, but they have this synchronized early wake-up down.

Just a few weeks ago, Eric would get his clothes out of Felix's room because Mad Dog would "sleep in" until almost 7am, and we all need to be out the door by 7:30am. Even Miles was blessing us with 6:40am wake-ups.

Was it the recent full moon that re-set their internal clocks?

I don't know, but the past few days, we've had extra early birds. I used to consider myself a morning person. Then I had kids. And then I started buying Jones Pure Cane Cola and drinking a can BEFORE 10am. Hi, my name is Ali, and I am becoming addicted to Jones Cola. (Except the Berry Lemonade and Cream Soda...puke.)

Bedtimes haven't changed. Felix is down before 7:30pm, and Miles soon after. And you all know that later bedtimes do NOT translate into later wake-ups for the 10 year old and younger crowd.

But here I am complaining of a random night waking and early rising when I was up 7+ times some nights with Felix during his peak ear infections, and I have too much amnesia to remember the nights with Miles.

But that's what happens. And that is why mothers aren't lying when they say, "it wasn't that bad." Or erroneously recall how bad it "wasn't."

God's clever wiring...or we all would be mothers of single children.

And in truth, the good FAR outweighs the tiring. But I won't say there hadn't been nights that I *might* have told Yahweh that I would sell my soul or live in poverty if we could just have some extra stretches of sleep.

And that's why I cannot get mad at my friend at work who has a baby who sleeps in until 9am some days (um, that's our first nap slot!), and comes into work complaining of fatigue if her daughter gets up at 6:30am. It's all relative and what you are used to. And I will readily admit that her awful mornings of 6:30am early wakings probably feel just as bad as our 5:33am ones, because our baselines our different.

That's why recently I have been getting greedy and cranky. Our baseline adjusted. Just a month of "full night's rest" re-set our clock, and early morning wake-ups seemed extra cruel, and foreign.

So I caved, and trusted Amazon to find me some technical panacea. (Selling my soul didn't work apparently--kidding!) American Innovative Teach Me Time clock. And if you look on Amazon, I did pay close to that sticker price. Ouch! Although we aren't going to use it to teach time, yet, Miles already knows that it has to start glowing "green" before he can get out of the room. It's programmable, small, modern looking (#3 on my check list apparently), and has a lot of good reviews from parents. Day 2 of the experiment--it's sort of working. We still have to go into the room and lie down with him when he moans and groans for his "a-hole" (oatmeal) and we easily get man handled by a 2 year old who won't relent until you say it's time to get up, but now we have some sort of weapon. Luckily, Miles isn't extremely defiant and has NO idea he has the power to get out of his bed without permission, but he's moving in that direction, so I'd like to capitalize off of his immaturity and lack of reasoning skills with this clock. We set the green to go "on" at 6:20am, and then it goes off at 7am when I say it is ready for school, knowing I will have to alligator wrestle both boys for 30 minutes before they are tossed in the car, kissed and whisked away to school by Daddy. And no, they aren't really tossed. Poetic license and sleep deprivation allow me to talk like that.

Until the 2 boys share a room (maybe this summer?), I am at a loss for what to do with Felix outside of daily prayer, caffeinated soda, and the solace of parenting amnesia when this phase passes.

Because it IS a phase. And it's not awful. (It's just a little harder when you work 40+ hours a week outside the home and are already knackered.)

And no. Offering the breastaurant got awful reviews. Not so much awful as comedic. Last night when I sprung up at 1am thinking "No. Way. Why is Felix up? This is so unusual!" (As if he had never woken up before at night his first year.) I ran in to capitalize on the still slightly dreamy phase to see if I could get him to go back down. Remember--we have no rocker. Just amazingly strong legs and abs of steel from bouncing at night since 2008.

I was lazy. Out of practice...so I thought, "what the hell (yes, I thought that exact phrase. Sorry Mom. I get cheeky and crass late at night)...I know there is still milk in these things." Yes there is. Looks can be deceiving, but it can take MONTHS for the supply to be completely gone. So I plopped on the bed and Felix literally looked straight in my face with his huge eyes, squirmed and LAUGHED. And then he tried to feed me my hair. (What is it with my boys and my hair?)

Boob fail.

It was worth a try, no?

But they are getting older, and I am clinging on to each stage, as tiresome as they may be, because before we know it, they'll be holed up in their room listening to music I hate, squeezing zits and getting up the guts to call up a cute girl from school for their homework assignment.

Sometimes, it goes too fast...just never between 10pm and 6am. We got Miles his first professional haircut at Salon Red for Kids, and he left looking like he needed to start wearing deodorant. I kid you not, I cut his hair every 3 weeks, but his cowlick was getting unmanageable, so I took him to get a fresh cut and will try to replicate with the intention of getting a "real" cut 2 times a year or so. It really does look cute, but I have to say I miss the "bowl" cut a bit, and think I do nearly as good of a job some times.

I decided to practice the new cutting technique I watched at the Salon on Felix, and I have to say, he looks pretty good! (yup, he gets a cut every month, too...my boys have some HAIR!) Minus the boogies, puffs, and patches of hair stuck to his body. Thank goodness for Fantasia and snacks. Works like a charm.

1 comment:

Yup - it' a phase. You will be saying that over and over again throughout their lives (it's just cuter than when they are 13). It's tough, though! Sorry honey! I love the photos, and Felix's haircut is great! You must show me the new techniques you learned. He looks every bit as professionally coiffed as Miles, with the addition of the mucus facial...