Don't think any pressure or expectations
likewise do help at all, see DC 121 !There is a stress type here not being
mentioned at all, which causes an early break off.

A missionary (in
my view) is having tremendous power to serve and to discern,there are also
other missionaries and members who live on their own plan and agenda through out
his mission time.

He then is expected to learn by the Spirit, but
cannot comprehend at first and fails.Then he will accommedate to his
environment and people and fails again.That causes tremendous stress, if
he does not have a friend to exchange thoughts with.Most feel they need to
resolve this issue on their own, or worse are not even aware of it.

This spiritual stress keeps building up, until you are lost on it to give
up.There is a lot of Ego on missions, we need more awareness to support
missionaries in their spiritual sufferings. How the church can compensate on
this one, I don't know.Mission presidents have all hand full, zone
leaders are not experienced enough, etc.

Our son came home early. While serving he was diagnosed with clinical
depression. As problems mounted his mission president let me work with him as
necessary for six-months prior to his early, honorable, medical release.

He returned haven given all he could. We gently began group therapy
with the kind souls at LDS Family Services. Healing came slowly. Coping
mechanisms were discussed. Insights accrued. Lost ground was regained. He
went back to school, got a job and serves in his ward.

We talk often
and have grown closer through the experience. I recognized many of the things
he suffered as I remember my own mission. He was generally treated well by our
ward. But a few (who should have known better) made it much more difficult.

Their lack of understanding and compassion left us worn and wounded.
But other quiet blessings came. Among them was a deeper understanding of
Christ's astonishing plea from the cross; "Father, forgive them, for
they know not what they do."

The comments that bother me most are those that create guilt and shame. A
mission is a very quantifiable task, either you did it or you didn't. But
life is not that simple. Those that judge others failures are failures
themselves. The reason I know they fail is because the scriptures say they do.
We all sin and fall short. If you say you have no sin the truth is not in you.
Are we not all beggars? If you were to do everything you possibly could do,
serve with your whole soul, the Book of Mormon says that you are still
unprofitable servants. It is interesting that often human nature is to with-hold
love, usually justified by the judger who claims this person doesn't
deserve mercy. Love conquers all.However, on the other side, hiding your
weaknesses doesn't help you either. It's only when we see our weakness
and humble ourselves that God can make us strong.

It would be interesting to know how the pressure to convert and the pressure to
approach people who visibly don't want to be approached affects stress.
When you're constantly forced to break social mores and you feel like a
failure because you can't sell a product that most people don't want,
that would certainly add to stress. I have heard many stories of (probably
well meaning) stake presidents who berate these poor kids for not working hard
enough or not doing well enough. I wonder how much pressure these mission
presidents are getting from up high. Anyway, I feel sorry for how the
church treats its missionaries. I feel sorry for the pressure they are under
and how they are isolated from their families and only allowed very limited
contact and how they are made by the wealthiest church in the United States to
live at poverty level many times. Not so sorry that I haven't had to
resort to getting a "no proselytizing" sign for my front door due to the
fact that they are housed close to where I live.

Re:AnnBlakeTracy"And I have been suffering the delusion my whole life that God is always
enough!"

What exactly are you saying? That people should shun
medical treatment because God is enough?

My answer to that is yes I
am saying exactly that. Why?

You see when I returned home from my
mission, after extending to a full 27 1/2 months, not many years later I learned
that I was dying of cancer. Because every answer I have ever needed in life has
been found through scripture study and prayer that is where I turned.

I did find my answer in things Father has given us rather than the things man
offers us so almost four decades after my cancer death sentence I am still here
and very healthy! That is why I firmly believe Father has the answer for
everything if we will turn to Him with all our hearts.

And yes I do
realize that belief borders on heresy in our day...sadly even in the Church!

My son came back early because health issues. He went under surgery two days
after he came back. However, his mission president reported he had
"emotional" problems. His companion reported that he was complaining too
much, he didn't want to work and was taking too many pain killers. So now,
I had a young man who can't understand why he has to go to LDS family
services when all he wants is to return to the mission. What is worst? we,
parents, cannot complain about it. We have no saying in this process. We had
been put into a situation that we feel is completely unfair and we just have to
obey if we want our son back in the mission. Thank goodness our testimonies go
beyond these politics because otherwise, we would had been walking out of this
craziness.

I'm not LDS, but work with a mental illness support group that writes &
shares their personal stories. My heart goes out to these young men & women
who were early returning missionaries as I meet so many of them along their
journey to recovery. I'd like to remind the commentators that serious
mental illness, often beset by psychotic episodes, schizophrenia, mood disorders
strike in young adulthood. This is why Universities have counseling
departments. Healthy religion & spirituality is taught in my group. I
often refer people to Alexander Morrison's book Valley of Sorrow (Deseret
Book), for a greater understanding & wish all LDS people would read it!
Utah Department of health reports that Utah is 7th in the nation for adult
suicides & 5th in the nation for Youth suicides which KSL did a great
special story on. Upon hearing so many of these stories of missionaries and
their breakdowns, I checked out the LDS website and found that the LDS seem to
embrace the disabled even mentally disabled. I just wish each of you could walk
a mile in these young peoples shoes & kudos to the research & booklet
that was prepared. Have compassion.

I'm grateful my daughter has a wise mission president! A few weeks ago she
was feeling the stress and pressure of her mission and some issues in the ward
she was serving and was starting to crack. He ordered her to take a week off of
missionary work. He essentially grounded her :) She and her companion spent the
week watching church dvd's, and general conference, listening to church
music, studying their scriptures and preach my gospel, baking, going for walks,
and being around members that were positive. Another time he required her to
take a nap after lunch because he recognizes that she pushes herself so hard
that she makes herself sick. These 2 things have made a world of difference and
she is back to her full functioning self. I've never heard of a mission
president doing this, but I hope it is something others will consider, rather
than pushing missionaries who are feeling overwhelmed even harder. Of course
that won't solve all of the challenges that missionaries will face, but at
least they will know that their mission president cares about them and wants
them to be happy and healthy.

I am happy this is being addressed. I went on a mission because I love the
church, but I was not prepared. My first HOUR in the field, My trainer took me
to a meeting with an "investigator" (a member) who proceeded to
absolutely destroy what little confidence I had in myself by asking very
difficult questions about deep doctrine and history. With my limited knowledge,
I just couldn't answer those questions. My trainer and this member thought
it was hilarious. I was devastated, and felt foolish and stupid. I struggled
mightily after that. Three months later I was injured in an accident. I could
have finished my mission after recovery if I had wanted, but I had no confidence
in myself after that and agreed to go home. I suffered deep depression for years
because of how I was treated by some in my family and my ward after my return. A
wonderful Bishop once told me that the Lord appreciated my willingness to serve
and that the length of service is irrelevant. That helped enormously, but I
still suffer depression 35 years later.

Many young people have not been out
in the world enough to cope and gain the self confidence needed for the rigors
of the whole new world of mission work. The age reduction to 18 could add to
that problem. Also, there's alotta competition among missionaries to show
who's best at speaking, learning, converting, etc. Missionaries from Utah
were always considered 'high maintenance' meaning they had to look and
act their best in a pompous sort of way... having their hair properly coiffed,
their shoes neatly shined, their suit/tie colors closely coordinated, etc.,
etc., giving others from rural areas (farm kids, etc) distressing inferior
complexes.

Then, there's the encouragement: 'Lengthen your
stride' (Spencer W. Kimball) which can be taken to mean... get busy,
you're not producing enough.

To all you guys (and girls) who come home early from a mission for whatever
reason, I feel for you. Going on a mission is not easy, and coming home early
has got to be just as tough, if not worse. My advice is to not let your mission
experience define who you are. Some guys who were great missionaries go inactive
or leave the church altogether, while many of those who came home early or never
served become great fathers, husbands, and priesthood holders. The Lord is more
concerned about where you are going than with where you have been.

If anyone asks if you served a mission just tell them where you went. No one
need know that you came home early. It does not matter. What matters is your
personal progress HERE AND NOW. We love you!

Every member who shoots disapproving glances and comments at a missionary who,
for whatever reason, couldn't complete the job, or at someone who (GASP!)
chose not to serve a mission, believes they are in the right. It's not a
matter of the other person's well-being; these people cannot
"approve" (or even avoid openly disapproving) of such a "lack of
faith" because to do so would be a tacit admission of the weakness of their
own faith. Ah, religion. Gots to love it.

I hope my son (16) will
have the good sense to eventually marry a girl who doesn't care if he did
or didn't serve for two years. In other words, I hope his wife loves HIM
and not the wholesome, fairy-tale Mormon ideal of The Returned Missionary that
is, explicitly or otherwise, sprinkled on our daughters like fairy dust for the
entirety of their formative years. You can be a great husband, father and
citizen without a mission, and just havine a mission on your resume doesn't
mean you'll be a glowing bastion of success and righteousness. The two are
barely related, if they are at all.

The pressures are enormous on Mormon youth with expectations to serve a full
time mission. It’s time to take a pause. How many missionaries in the
field seeking new converts does the Church need? Does it need any at all in this
era when Mormonism is hardly unheard of? The word is out about LDS belief and
curiosity grows. That’s sufficient to take care of itself.

Young people with their lives ahead of them have enough on their plates
without taking on responsibility for Church growth projections. The two year
commitment for proselytizing is without compensation or even a meager accrual of
academic credits to offset their voluntary service. That’s getting
perilously close to exploitation. This will be a growing issue that at some
point down the road Church leadership will have to take stock of and do some
rethinking.

Our son returned early from his mission when plagued with physical health
problems that subsequently have been shown to be intertwined with mental health
issues. Our congregation has been wonderful. There have been many prayers and a
great deal of good will. But our family has been pretty open about our
son's issues. Most people aren't nosy; they just want to
understand.

Despite the fact that our son's condition is not his
fault, he still feels somewhat like damaged goods. It can be tough when friends
at school ask about his mission. Relationships with young ladies (many of whom
hope to marry a young man that has successfully completed a mission) can be
challenging. I'm not sure that there are any quick and easy answers to such
social situations.

I served a 2 year mission and was ready to go home about 2 months into it. I
spent a lot of time thinking about it and chose on my own that I would stay.
Not for anybody else but me. I wasn't bribed or promised anything if I
stayed, which I know a lot of people have done. I stayed because I wanted to
serve. I had a companion whose father died two weeks before he left into the
MTC and he was an outstanding missionary. He served his heart out because he
knew his dad was watching him. I served with an Elder who had cancer, went home
for treatments, and then returned as soon as he could. My own mother nearly
died of cancer while I was out, but I stayed. We are raising a generation of
'entitled' wusses who don't have any endurance when it comes to
this kind of thing and we need to stop coddling them. Don't go if you
aren't going to stay and get back out there if you do need to come home.
Simple as that. No excuses.

@Sharon: your daughter is certainly one lucky girl! as you said, we wish all
mission presidents were like him! I think that if the missionaries report the
number of contacts rather than the number of baptisms, a lot of the stress will
go away. The Lord said go preach every nation and "baptize those who accept
it". Missionaries contact, teach if the person agrees to and of course,
it's the person's choice to be baptized or not.

@Neandertal: yes, most of them are that way and not only that, they expect you
to be that way too. As I mentioned, my son complained because he was in pain,
not because he was being lazy. He still managed not only to work under those
circumstances but also to baptize people. These are too young people who still
conduct themselves as they were in high school: most popular, most successful,
most friendly, join to the group or you will be cast out, etc. I wonder if the
training in the MTC talks about these issues besides of teaching them how to get
the most baptisms they can.

Congrats to Anne Blake Tracy on making the hands down worst comparison I have
ever read on these forums. And that is saying something!

Yes,
there are incredible blessings for serving a mission. I am thankful every day
for my mission. When I go to bed at night, I pray that my son will have the
desire and ability to serve as well, because I know the blessings that come.

However, the LDS church teaches that we need to love one another.
Making someone feel as if they are somehow a failure because of their actions is
contrary to 100% of the teachings of Christ. Christ was ALWAYS encouraging.
ALWAYS the first to put his arms around someone and lead them.

You
two really ought to take a look in the mirror and honestly, its you who ought to
be ashamed of yourselves. But, I believe that all of us can improve and get
better and I hope that we all can.

"Wow AnnBlakeTracy! First you pat yourself on the
back about your service to Christ and then spew non-Christlike judgments about
those suffering from depression."

Since when is stating I filled
a mission and it was not easy patting oneself on the back? I thought I was just
stating my experience like all the other posters here so that you knew where I
was coming from.

Secondly show me one thing I said here that could
be considered "spewing non-Christlike judgments about those suffering from
depression." I have stated the effects of the drugs - most of those even
admitted to in the book put out to peddle the drugs to unsuspecting victims of
depression, Kramer's "Listening to Prozac". Even he stated clearly
that antidepressants "rob you of your soul."

I simply
pointed out those suffering depression are being lied to about the benefits and
the dangers of antidepressants. In the November 2010 issue of Atlantic Monthly,
there's an interview with the world's leading expert on medical
research, "Lies, D... Lies, and Medical Science." He estimates 90% of
research is tainted/bogus via "influence by industry" then worries that
medical science will not survive this overwhelming deception.

...when it even led to followup articles titled
"When God is Not Enough!"? And I have been suffering the delusion my
whole life that God is always enough! Silly me! Instead we apparently need
antidepressant drugs which prevent us from feeling the Spirit, rob us of our
souls, then lower the level of consciousness leaving our bodies to exist in a
Zombie state until death comes!...

I sure hope you haven't used
the services of a doctor your whole life to help heal your body. Do you believe
that God is enough that you never need to go to the doctor for illness? Their is
such a stigma around mental illness that people often forget it is a physical
disease just as much as a broken bone. There is no shame in seeking medical help
for someone suffering from "real" depression.