Starlings in daring escape

The Evil Fritz The four starlin

The four starlings who recently were arrested for their roles in a December 2002 poop-bombing have escaped, authorities said yesterday. Fred Starling, June Starling, Homer Starling and Sandy "Bad Boy" Starling, arrested in late January on a tip from a stool pigeon and sent to the Brooklyn Detention Center, escaped from their cell last week on a glider made of toothpicks. According to a source close to the starling community, the four flew the glider all the way back to Indianapolis, where a combination of turbulence caused by over-sized American flags in front of gas stations and fumes from the Citizens Gas plant downtown caused the glider to crash near Military Park. The source stated that no one was injured. Sandy "Bad Boy" Starling, alleged ringleader of the poop-terrorists, when told that the proposed extermination of the downtown starlings was part of a "beautification" project proposed by downtown boosters, reportedly grabbed his crotch and said, "I"ve got their beautification right here!" The four birds are still at large.