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Fri, 22 Feb 2019 08:32:11 +0000en-GBhourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.832522738What Are the Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem?https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/what-are-the-symptoms-of-low-self-esteem
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/what-are-the-symptoms-of-low-self-esteem#commentsTue, 26 Jun 2018 11:00:35 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=131People with low self-esteem rarely live their lies to the full. They distance themselves from others, and are thus denied love and support. They rarely, if ever, make full use of their abilities. Instead, they end up brooding about the injustices of life. Such people are a loss to themselves, their family and to society. […]

People with low self-esteem rarely live their lies to the full. They distance themselves from others, and are thus denied love and support. They rarely, if ever, make full use of their abilities. Instead, they end up brooding about the injustices of life. Such people are a loss to themselves, their family and to society. Some of them even take to alcohol and drugs.

Invariably, people with low self-esteem are uncomfortable with success. They tend to believe that they don’t deserve success, and they have no clue as to how to savour success. At the same time, they do not hesitate to blame themselves if things go wrong. They take some kind of pleasure in telling the world that they knew things would go wrong. This is an important symptom of low self-esteem, and needs to be treated at the earliest opportunity.

People who suffer from low self-esteem also have the habit of putting themselves down. They repeatedly tell themselves that they are not good enough and that they are bound to fail. Over a period of time this negative self-talk turns into a negative self-belief. More than that, they try to implant these seeds of negativity in people around them. They also gravitate towards people who suffer from similar problems. The end result is that they feed on each other’s negativity, and become much poorer individuals than they initially were.

A high level of dissatisfaction is another indicator of low self-esteem. There are people who spend all their time complaining. They don’t see positive things in others or in themselves. This cynicism eats away their self-belief, and erodes their self-confidence. In contrast, people who value their abilities enjoy high self-esteem.

Also, people with low self-esteem can spend most of their time brooding about the past and worrying about the future. They don’t spend enough time living in the present. As a result, they don’t enjoy the present, even though it may be full of success. The net result is that they prevent themselves from enjoying life, and make themselves unhappy. It finally becomes a vicious cycle that feeds upon itself, and prevents them from breaking out of their negative mould

Such people are rarely relaxed and at ease. They keep looking for different jobs and lines of work. The reason why they are always looking for something else to do is that they lack self-confidence. They drift from one crisis to another, and blame fate for their woes.

A few of them take to alcohol, drugs, food, sex etc. to get a temporary “high”. But this rarely helps them in the long run. They fail to generate a sustainable feeling of happiness and contentment.

People with low self-esteem can also have problems getting close to others. They are not comfortable with intimacy and create barriers to prevent people from coming close to them. They don’t like to open up to people and to reveal their innermost thoughts.

They may be nursing some old bad experience with someone who caused them a lot of pain or who let them down when they were most vulnerable.

By forcing themselves to live in a world of self-denial they are doing a great damage to themselves. They fail to benefit from the company of others, and keep entrenching themselves deeper and deeper into their negative world.

To find out how Counselling, Therapy and our Workshops could help you overcome low self-esteem and build confidence in your life contact us at Birmingham Counselling Services on 0121 314 7075 or via the Contact page of this website.

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/what-are-the-symptoms-of-low-self-esteem/feed2131Combating Anxiety: The Alternative Wayhttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/combating-anxiety-the-alternative-way
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/combating-anxiety-the-alternative-way#respondMon, 25 Jun 2018 12:00:08 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=192We all have feelings of anxiety from time to time. Perhaps you break out into a cold sweat when you have to deliver a talk before a group of people, or perhaps you become nervous when you have to take a test. But how can you tell if your anxiety is out of control? If […]

We all have feelings of anxiety from time to time. Perhaps you break out into a cold sweat when you have to deliver a talk before a group of people, or perhaps you become nervous when you have to take a test. But how can you tell if your anxiety is out of control? If you experience racing thoughts, rapid heartbeat, extreme difficulty resting or concentrating, you probably need to get help.

It is estimated that more than ten per cent of people in UK will suffer from anxiety and panic disorders at some time. While prescription drugs are routinely offered as a remedy for such illnesses, they can be dangerous if administered over a long period of time. Some of the more popular anxiety drugs include Diazepam and Wellbutrin.

Increasingly people are turning to alternative treatments in an effort to soothe their anxious feelings. In the last decade the demand for alternative medicine has increased 300 per cent. This is partly because many alternative medicines offer relief from symptoms without the side-effects linked to prescription drugs. It should be noted, however, that natural remedies are not meant to be long-term treatments, although they can offer relief in the short-term.

If you do not like dealing with the side-effects of prescription drugs, a herbal remedy may be in order. You need to know, however, that some herbal remedies carry their own risks and lead to significant side-effects. The more you know about herbal remedies, the better consumer you’ll be. Before you buy a natural remedy, do your homework as far as your knowledge of herbs and vitamins is concerned. It is also important that you consult your GP in order to ensure that the alternative treatment is safe for you.

A number of herbs offer relief from the symptoms of anxiety. For instance, St Johns Wort is one of the most popular anti-anxiety herbs on the market. After taking it for as little as two weeks, you might notice a difference in your anxiety level. However, it is particularly important to check with your GP if you are thinking of taking St Johns Wort as it is well known to react with some other medication.

Valerian Root is another alternative option you might try. It is especially helpful in combating insomnia because of its sedative quality. In other words, it helps to lull the central nervous system to sleep. Research indicates that Valerian Root is effective in improving sleep 90 per cent of the time. This is important, since much of anxiety is linked to sleep disorders.

Vitamins can also provide an effective treatment for anxiety. They can be quite important in enabling neurotransmitter synthesis and maintenance. For instance, B-complex vitamins can help produce neurochemicals which in turn assist in the synthesis of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine.

Yet another aid to combating anxiety is Passion Flower. It helps to calm the central nervous system, leading to feelings of peace.

But perhaps no herbal remedy is quite as effective as Kava Kava. This is considered to be one of the strongest anti-anxiety remedies in the world. A number of studies indicate that Kava Kava is highly effective in relieving the short-term symptoms of anxiety. It is also considered quite safe to ingest, making it one of the most popular herbs available on the market today.

We advise you speak to a professional, or do some research into these alternative remedies and take care in trying them for yourself. They are however great for those against using prescribed drugs and treatments. Along with remedies, counselling for combating anxiety can also bring peace of mind, so if you’d consider speaking to a therapist, get in touch with us today.

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/combating-anxiety-the-alternative-way/feed0192Imagining Your Way to Stress Reductionhttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/imagining-your-way-to-stress-reduction
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/imagining-your-way-to-stress-reduction#respondSun, 24 Jun 2018 12:58:09 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=186It might have begun with a picture in your mind’s eye of a sea-shore at dusk. You could see the large blue waves rolling towards the shoreline, the pristine sand in the foreground, the sun gently setting in the west. You might have imagined sea gulls gently flying past and children building sand castles along […]

It might have begun with a picture in your mind’s eye of a sea-shore at dusk. You could see the large blue waves rolling towards the shoreline, the pristine sand in the foreground, the sun gently setting in the west. You might have imagined sea gulls gently flying past and children building sand castles along the shore. This was the image you might have taken with you as you began your labour for childbirth. It could have been one of a number of relaxation techniques you learned in your preparation for childbirth classes.

Or perhaps you saw white blood cells swallowing up the cancer cells in your system. You imagined the cancer cells slowly disappearing from view, with healthy cells taking their place in your body. You even imagined your doctor saying, “You’re cancer-free” with a big grin on his face.

Guided imagery is used in a variety of different settings. Its primary purpose is to allow you to call up relaxing images in order to calm your mind and refresh your body. If you imagine a peaceful scene and couple that vision with controlled breathing, you can achieve deep relaxation. Almost anyone can learn to exercise their imagination this way. It costs nothing, and it can benefit you greatly in terms of reducing your stress.

One of the most popular relaxation exercises is imagining a peaceful scene. In your mind you create a place of comfort, the kind of spot you would go to if you were in trouble and needed solace. For many people this is a beach or a forest. You then imagine what the experience of being there will mean for your senses — what you will see, what you will hear, what you will feel, and perhaps what you will smell. You become a part of the scene, drinking in the tranquility. Whenever you recognise that you are severely stressed you can return to this scene in your mind and experience a feeling of relaxation.

Another well-known imagination exercise is the feather. Imagine a feather drifting across a mountain, beside a river, over a field. Picture yourself as that feather. Notice how light and airy you feel. Imagine that you don’t have a care in the world, there is nowhere you have to be, you have no appointments to make or keep, you are simply a feather enjoying your place in the sun.

Or picture yourself as a drop of water in the ocean. Gently sway back and forth as the water moves peacefully along the shore. Let nothing worry you. Your only goal in life is to be relaxed and happy.

What if you try this imagining and it doesn’t work? The trick may be to practise. The more you imagine your quiet place, the easier it should be to go there. You might have to keep trying for a week or so before you can determine if it actually is impossible for you. Also, it is important that you maintain deep breathing throughout the exercise. Holding on to both the scene and the breathing does take practice. It is not surprising that pregnant women often practise relaxation exercises every week.

Where should you practice this relaxation imagery? The good news is, you can do it practically anywhere. However, you should choose a place where you are comfortable, such as your bed, an easy chair, or a sofa. At times it might be easier to do the exercise if you are out of doors; it would also be fine to practise while sitting beside the fire. Try engaging with your imagery for five minutes before you go to sleep or five minutes after you wake up. Imagery is a skill like any other; you need to do it consistently in order for it to be effective.

Initially you might well be skeptical about imagery. Your imagination might give you a hard time and you might be uncomfortable at first. In order to be successful with imagery you do need to be committed. Continue your imagining, even when you feel like quitting, and in time, it should become entirely natural to you. Whenever you encounter a stressful situation you can go to your peaceful place, imagine yourself as a wave of the ocean or picture yourself as a feather. While it might seem corny, it works. It is a highly effective method of reducing your stress level.

It might have begun with a picture in your mind’s eye of a sea-shore at dusk. You could see the large blue waves rolling towards the shoreline, the pristine sand in the foreground, the sun gently setting in the west. You might have imagined sea gulls gently flying past and children building sand castles along the shore. This was the image you might have taken with you as you began your labour for childbirth. It could have been one of a number of relaxation techniques you learned in your preparation for childbirth classes.

Or perhaps you saw white blood cells swallowing up the cancer cells in your system. You imagined the cancer cells slowly disappearing from view, with healthy cells taking their place in your body. You even imagined your doctor saying, “You’re cancer-free” with a big grin on his face.

Guided imagery is used in a variety of different settings. Its primary purpose is to allow you to call up relaxing images in order to calm your mind and refresh your body. If you imagine a peaceful scene and couple that vision with controlled breathing, you can achieve deep relaxation. Almost anyone can learn to exercise their imagination this way. It costs nothing, and it can benefit you greatly in terms of reducing your stress.

One of the most popular relaxation exercises is imagining a peaceful scene. In your mind you create a place of comfort, the kind of spot you would go to if you were in trouble and needed solace. For many people this is a beach or a forest. You then imagine what the experience of being there will mean for your senses — what you will see, what you will hear, what you will feel, and perhaps what you will smell. You become a part of the scene, drinking in the tranquility. Whenever you recognise that you are severely stressed you can return to this scene in your mind and experience a feeling of relaxation.

Another well-known imagination exercise is the feather. Imagine a feather drifting across a mountain, beside a river, over a field. Picture yourself as that feather. Notice how light and airy you feel. Imagine that you don’t have a care in the world, there is nowhere you have to be, you have no appointments to make or keep, you are simply a feather enjoying your place in the sun.

Or picture yourself as a drop of water in the ocean. Gently sway back and forth as the water moves peacefully along the shore. Let nothing worry you. Your only goal in life is to be relaxed and happy.

What if you try this imagining and it doesn’t work? The trick may be to practise. The more you imagine your quiet place, the easier it should be to go there. You might have to keep trying for a week or so before you can determine if it actually is impossible for you. Also, it is important that you maintain deep breathing throughout the exercise. Holding on to both the scene and the breathing does take practice. It is not surprising that pregnant women often practise relaxation exercises every week.

Where should you practice this relaxation imagery? The good news is, you can do it practically anywhere. However, you should choose a place where you are comfortable, such as your bed, an easy chair, or a sofa. At times it might be easier to do the exercise if you are out of doors; it would also be fine to practise while sitting beside the fire. Try engaging with your imagery for five minutes before you go to sleep or five minutes after you wake up. Imagery is a skill like any other; you need to do it consistently in order for it to be effective.

Initially you might well be skeptical about imagery. Your imagination might give you a hard time and you might be uncomfortable at first. In order to be successful with imagery you do need to be committed. Continue your imagining, even when you feel like quitting, and in time, it should become entirely natural to you. Whenever you encounter a stressful situation you can go to your peaceful place, imagine yourself as a wave of the ocean or picture yourself as a feather. While it might seem corny, it works. It is a highly effective method of reducing your stress level.

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/imagining-your-way-to-stress-reduction/feed0186Why Focus is So Important to Your Successhttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/focus-important-success
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/focus-important-success#respondThu, 03 Aug 2017 08:21:46 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=3299Losing your focus can mean you become frustrated and impatient with yourself. Anxiety begins to mount about the list of things that are getting done and the next step on the ladder to success can feel like an impossible task. So how can you change this? A lack of focus impacts both your home and […]

Losing your focus can mean you become frustrated and impatient with yourself.

Anxiety begins to mount about the list of things that are getting done and the next step on the ladder to success can feel like an impossible task. So how can you change this?

A lack of focus impacts both your home and work life. When you’re more irritable and anxious all your relationships can begin to suffer as a result. In the same way that if you lose focus of how you’re relationships going this can cause friction and affect your mood. This vicious cycle must be broken for you to achieve your full capability.

Focus involves prioritizing what’s important in your life. If you know where your main troubles lie channel your concentration onto the problem area. For example if your home life is fractious it may be best to transfer your efforts on returning your family life to it’s usual harmony, before taking on a new project at work.

This focus keeps us from trying to accomplish too much at one time and can help you to do a better job, simply because we’re giving it all of our attention.

When we begin a project it’s exciting, but after a while the shine wears off.

For instance many people are passionate about their new job and accomplish tasks with enthusiasm and energy. As a result of this buzz they may make sacrifices to enhance their career such as working long hours or neglecting their personal lives.

When things settle down the work isn’t as enjoyable or motivating anymore. The expense of the initial increased effort has hit, we’re tired from lost sleep, not exercising or eating a balanced diet. In addition to this our home life has become a little more tricky. This often causes our focus to begin to waver. Burnout is the predominant reason why many businesses fail a short-time after opening.

Scattering our energy and attention between too many tasks causes us to lose sight of our original goals. Because we’re unclear what they are, we struggle to know how we plan to achieve them. This is a major contributor towards failure.

Focus can be the difference between success and failure. Without this ability it’s easier for problems to creep in and sabotage us whilst our attention is elsewhere.

A truly successful person can balance their focus between their career and their personal life. If your relationship is suffering because of of lack of focus and you need support to master this balance get in touch with Birmingham Counselling Services.

Edited by Anna Perry

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/focus-important-success/feed03299Where to Go When You Need Marriage Advicehttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/go-need-marriage-advice
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/go-need-marriage-advice#respondSun, 30 Jul 2017 08:24:27 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=3039It’s time to be honest. How is your marriage doing? Is your husband spending more time sleeping with the sofa than with you? Is communication like talking to a brick wall? Does your marriage feel as dull as watching paint dry? Perhaps tiny things blow up into arguments and at the end of each day you’re […]

It’s time to be honest. How is your marriage doing?

Is your husband spending more time sleeping with the sofa than with you? Is communication like talking to a brick wall? Does your marriage feel as dull as watching paint dry?

Perhaps tiny things blow up into arguments and at the end of each day you’re left feeling more miserable than the one before. Yet the pure fact you’re reading this article means for whatever reason you have not given up. Perhaps you’ve tried to work it out between yourselves but nothing seems to have helped or the situation is getting worse.

No matter what you might think, it’s 100% okay to ask for help and advice. Seeking help means your far more likely to overcome problems simply because you are facing up to them. You’re certainly not the first couple to be in a deteriorating marriage. Just because this disagreement cannot be solved at the kitchen table or in the bedroom, does not mean you have failed. Instead it’s time to adopt a new strategy.

Marriage Counselling

Before considering the dreaded divorce, try going for marriage counselling. The wide variety of couples counselling has benefited speaks for itself. Quality marriage advice is known to help couples regain respect and learn how to resolve conflicts without resulting to verbal or even physical abuse.

Conflict can make you feel as if you’re fighting in a marriage war. Therefore it’s good to remind yourselves that you are in fact on the same team. Marriage counselling can help identify particular behaviours that trigger arguments and work to reach peaceful agreements together and to learn to resolve issues.

Family and Friends

Some couples seek marriage advice from their family or friends. However, the best intentions in the world don’t compensate for untrained, perhaps even biased advice. Knowing how best to navigate the complex issues couples face is challenging. On the other hand, you might attend marriage support classes – in general counselling offers a private, more flexible choice.

The Internet

The internet has many eBooks and articles on hundreds of marriage related topics, as well as videos and Podcasts aimed at helping marriages in trouble. These are available at your fingertips and from within the comfort and privacy of your home.

If you have reservations about marriage advice Birmingham Counselling Services are available to answer any questions you may have. Get in touch with their fully qualified and highly successful team at: http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/

Edited by Anna Perry

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/go-need-marriage-advice/feed03039How to Build Your Child’s Self-Esteemhttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/build-childs-self-esteem
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/build-childs-self-esteem#respondSun, 23 Jul 2017 07:16:09 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=3100Self-esteem is an important ingredient for any child to develop into a confident, happy adult later in life. Even absolute whiz kids can feel self-doubt. Parents are key to nurturing their child’s confidence, so we thought we’d give you some tips to help you along the way. Focus On the Positive It’s all too easy […]

Self-esteem is an important ingredient for any child to develop into a confident, happy adult later in life. Even absolute whiz kids can feel self-doubt. Parents are key to nurturing their child’s confidence, so we thought we’d give you some tips to help you along the way.

Focus On the Positive

It’s all too easy to focus upon weaknesses over strengths and unique abilities. We all know there is no such thing as a perfect person yet children can feel they need to live up to this unachievable ideal. As a result your child can begin to believe they can’t get anything right. This belief can lead to a fear of mistakes, as opposed to learning from them.

Rewards Build Confidence

Similarly, if praise is overlooked the moments that build confidence are few and far between. A way to avoid this can be by putting a goal within your child’s reach. The encouragement that follows is one of the best things you can do to inspire your child to believe in themselves. Rewards along the way can be as simple as a sticker or sweet up to a rather shiny trophy.

Become a Super-Parent

In the eyes of your child you are superhuman and capable of absolutely anything! Although this is quite an exciting prospect for you, this can set a high bar for your child to live up to. We all have limitations in life and if you try for your child not to see them, they can be left feeling anxious of disappointing you. Therefore you should try opening up about your mistakes and helping them see this as a normal part of life. As a result you’ll become a super-parent! (costume not included)

Get a Handle of Sibling Rivalry

As any sibling knows, in big families competition for the attention of parents is fought long and hard. But it doesn’t have to be like this. If you actively try to split your time equally across each child you can avoid someone ending up feeling left out from all the fun.

A Little Responsibility Goes A Long Way

Giving children a little more responsibility has the power to open up more opportunities for them to feel as though they have achieved something positive. This set up shows them what they’re capable of and allows them to share their pride with you. Examples of how to this could be as simple as feeding the fish, walking the dog or helping to cook dinner.It may be surprising to hear that children can become depressed. In fact, feelings of self-doubt can be even more stressful than in adults because children lack the tools needed to cope with these complex emotions. However, with your support they can learn to become as confident as their peers!

Edited by Anna Perry

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/build-childs-self-esteem/feed03100How to Break Out of Bad Habitshttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/break-bad-habits
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/break-bad-habits#respondSun, 02 Jul 2017 08:30:21 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=3262How often do you procrastinate in the evening and end up watching trashy TV instead of doing something constructive? How much time do you spend on your phone and stress yourself out with unnecessary information? Mess about at work on Facebook instead of diving into something actually productive? Do too much work for others? Many […]

How often do you procrastinate in the evening and end up watching trashy TV instead of doing something constructive? How much time do you spend on your phone and stress yourself out with unnecessary information? Mess about at work on Facebook instead of diving into something actually productive? Do too much work for others?

Many of us are guilty of the above and the issue is that habits are… well habitual. Due to repetition, they become very deeply ingrained not only in terms of the neural networks they form but also in terms of the other routines we build up around them. This makes them hard to break out of.

The thing to realise is that our routines that we develop over time act as triggers to our bad habits. The moment your boss leaves the office comes the temptation to open up non work-related tabs on your internet, or engage in chitchat with colleagues. By walking past the takeaway shop each day you are encouraged to go in and buy something. By snoozing your alarm each day reduces your ability to wake up.

So, how do you start changing these habits?

Arguably the most effective way to break out of bad habits is by removing those triggers and associations. This can be done by changing your environment and your routines.

This is actually one of the reasons that drug and alcohol addicts go to rehab – because it takes them out of their usual environment thus removing the triggers of bad habits. We’re not suggesting that you’re an addict. Rather, the point that we are trying to make is that by going on a holiday or making a small change to your routine can help to adjust your environment and really make a difference!

Make it easier for yourself. When in the process of adjusting your habits and routines, you’re more likely to succeed if you make the new set-ups as easy as possible. For example, if you want to quit smoking then you should remove temptations by hanging out in smoking areas less.

Likewise, if your aim is to be more focused at work, block distractions such as Facebook using a restricting app. If you want to go to the gym regularly, then join a nearby gym and get your kit ready the night before.

You may also benefit by being vocal about your goals. That way others can make life easier for you also. Set yourself up for victory and ideally it should be easier to cut out bad habits!

For more information on how Counselling, Therapy and our Workshops could help you improve your life, contact us at Birmingham Counselling Services on 0121 314 9903 or via the Contact page of this website.

Edited by Samantha Turner

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/break-bad-habits/feed03262What Women Want Most from Their Husbandshttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/women-want-husbands
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/women-want-husbands#respondWed, 28 Jun 2017 10:01:57 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=3030For most women this is the easiest, least expensive gift a guy could ever give – but rarely does. And it doesn’t require a trip to the jewelers, car dealership, shoe shop or travel agent. Give up? TIME. Could it be simpler? The truth is our lives get so crowded with work, children, chores and […]

For most women this is the easiest, least expensive gift a guy could ever give – but rarely does. And it doesn’t require a trip to the jewelers, car dealership, shoe shop or travel agent.

Give up?

TIME.

Could it be simpler? The truth is our lives get so crowded with work, children, chores and general stress that it can feel like there’s barely enough hours in the day.

Young children can be very demanding and older children can be no easier. As they get involved with more after school activities parents can be left feeling like a personal chauffer service. Talks become dominated by the practicalities of life, resembling a daily schedule breakdown more than a conversation between two spouses.

It’s understandable that each partner wishes to spend time getting involved in their personal interests and hobbies. But if a husband who wants to go to the football hands his wife the credit card, he might be missing the mark. As fun as shopping is, a credit card is little substitute for an actual loving, caring husband. Unfortunately the bank cannot meet her needs for both time and attention from her spouse. Not acknowledging this can leave her feeling neglected and overlooked.

A woman wants to know she can be the focus of her man’s interests, just like when they first met. This is not possible all the time. However, for a relationship to maintain good communication and a united partnership both should sacrifice enough time for each other regularly. Work, children and household chores are responsibilities we routinely prioritise. Likewise time, care and attention to each other is a commitment spouses make when they get married.

What is quality time?

The chances are that he may have no idea what she really means by quality time. She may have hopes for a weekly date night, long weekends away and long walks holding hands. But he’s struggling to see how driving the children to school together, isn’t quality time together. The answer lies in the ability to explain your viewpoint. Being able to calmly explain what it is you are asking for without it being full of complaints or criticisms can be a challenge.

The ambiguity of the word time can create a problem. Relying on his imagination to guess what ‘spending time together’ means is likely to miss expectations. However, if you take turns to give a specific use for that time takes away this guess-work and gives both partners the freedom to choose.

The gift of time should be mutually exciting and something both of you look forward to. Finding common ground and suitable compromises helps to get to this stage. The majority of couples can benefit from talking issues through with the guidance of a professional. If you’d like better communication in your relationship, get in touch with Birmingham Counselling Services at: http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/

Edited by Anna Perry

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/women-want-husbands/feed03030Organising Your Householdhttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/organising-your-household
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/organising-your-household#respondFri, 23 Jun 2017 08:30:12 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=3271Do you struggle to make decisions and complete tasks amongst the clutter in your house? After a busy day at work, do you come back to a messy environment and feel more stressed? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many of us are dissatisfied with the state of our homes and wished they were tidier. But […]

Do you struggle to make decisions and complete tasks amongst the clutter in your house? After a busy day at work, do you come back to a messy environment and feel more stressed? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many of us are dissatisfied with the state of our homes and wished they were tidier.

But when it gets to the stage that our homes are unmanageable and have an impact on our lives is when we need to change. In extreme cases an untidy home can lead to hoarding disorders.

A hoarding disorder has been described by the NHS as when a person acquires an excessive number of items and stores them in a chaotic manner. Failure to seek help can ‘cause not only loneliness and mental health problems, but also pose a health and safety risk’.

Whatever position you may be in, organising your household is one of the best places to start to make your life easier. Here’s our advice to get you on the right track…

Outsource, Automate and Schedule

If you’re a busy bee, then keeping your home clean and tidy can be a lot of work on top of your usual chores and responsibilities. In this case a simple solution would be to outsource or automate aspects of your work.

An example of outsourcing would of course be to hire a cleaner. If you can afford to, then this might be one of the best investments you ever make!

Alternatively, you can automate some of the more time-consuming tasks by using the right equipment and systems. A dishwasher can save you time washing up. Likewise, a robotic vacuum cleaner can make it easier to vacuum! Whilst these items may seem like luxury purchases, consider them investments to make your life more manageable.

Create a rota to complete household chores, and delegate to your family for support. By using a ‘little but often’ system you will find more time and less mess.

Minimise

Another tip is to go minimal. The less items you have, the less there is to clean, the less there is to lose and the more spacious your home will feel.

Start with your ornaments and decorations. Cut those items in half and not only will it now be far easier to clean and tidy those rooms but your home will be much more visually appealing to visitors – as they say, less is more!

Yes, we know, de-cluttering your house is much easier said than done, especially when you see value in items. Why not sell your items online, pass them on or have a car boot? That way you will be able to make some money and find a home for them, rather than simply binning your possessions.

If there are aspects of your life that are getting you down, contact us at Birmingham Counselling Services via the Contact page or on 0121 314 9903 to speak to one of our friendly counsellors and see how they can help.

Edited by Samantha Turner

]]>https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/organising-your-household/feed03271Good Habits Are the Mind’s Magic Potionhttps://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/good-habits-minds-magic-potion
https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/good-habits-minds-magic-potion#respondMon, 19 Jun 2017 08:59:51 +0000http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/?p=3011Each day your mind leads you in a certain direction. You forge through daily activities like brushing your teeth or drinking your cup of coffee out of habit. What if there was a way to put your firmly back in charge of your daily choices? Learning about how to control your mind could be your […]

Each day your mind leads you in a certain direction. You forge through daily activities like brushing your teeth or drinking your cup of coffee out of habit. What if there was a way to put your firmly back in charge of your daily choices? Learning about how to control your mind could be your magic potion to forming the good habits that determine your success.

How to Beat Your Subconscious

The subconscious mind can sabotage your good habit resolutions. This can explain why many people fail a diet they began at new year. Their subconscious mind decided it wasn’t keen on being deprived of the comfort of high calorie food. As a result it repeatedly drew us into the temptation of cake until finally we caved. If we engage with our conscious minds we can exert influence over the subconscious and override bad habits with good ones.

In order to see your commitment to a good habit last you can use our mind’s magic potion to lead you to ultimate success. Simply follow our list of ingredients below:

Self-discipline

– Unless you develop a strong dedication to your goals, your efforts to create good habits could fade away. True commitment means planning ahead to be able to overcome the temptations of the subconscious before you begin to weaken. Achieving this involves always trying to keep the finishing line in mind.

Engage in the hardest tasks during your most productive time

– Figure out what times suit you best and when your concentration starts to waver. If you’re more productive in the mornings play to your strengths. Try scheduling your day so that you engage in the most difficult activities during this time. When you repeat this regularly it will become a lasting habit. One excellent example is exercising in the morning in order to set an invigorating tone for the rest of your day.

Quickly replace negative thoughts with positive ones

– Those negative thoughts that seem to come from nowhere sometimes appear from your subconscious mind by letting buried emotions into your conscious mind. If these thoughts are allowed to linger they can sabotage your progress by introducing self-doubt into the equation. The alternative is to build up self belief and optimism to override any negativity. Due to positive thoughts being the main ingredient in our magic potion to help you build positive habits.

Identify what you want –

When your desires are firmly embedded in your mind, it’s difficult to be led astray. A vague picture is more difficult to plan for and achieve. Therefore visualising a vivid picture of what success will look like and holding onto that image when temptation strikes can keep you on track.

Forming good habits enables you to overcome obstacles and unlocks your full potential. Some bad habits can be particularly challenging to break and negative thoughts hard to ignore. Support can help you through this and this is why Birmingham Counselling Services are here to help, get in touch at: http://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/