Physical Punishment?

Idk if anyone is still here, I haven't checked in for a while, but... Does anyone use any type of physical punishment for their July 2010 babies? My son is the light of my life and I would never harm him... But lately he has been all out slapping, biting, scratching, pinching, etc. when he doesn't get his way. I've found myself over the past week or two flicking his hand when he slaps me or the side of his mouth when he bites me. I'm not sure if this is appropriate and I feel SO guilty. But nothing else has worked... He gets timeouts for misbehaving, but when he's mad throwing a fit and hitting me, a time out won't work. Am I totally out of line? Am I just teaching him that it's ok to be physical with people? Keep in mind I do NOT hit him. I do not cause pain. I flick his hand or side if mouth one time for the shock factor to make him stop slapping or biting. And then sit him down in time out and talk to him about it. What do I do?! Help!

Idk if anyone is still here, I haven't checked in for a while, but... Does anyone use any type of physical punishment for their July 2010 babies? My son is the light of my life and I would never harm him... But lately he has been all out slapping, biting, scratching, pinching, etc. when he doesn't get his way. I've found myself over the past week or two flicking his hand when he slaps me or the side of his mouth when he bites me. I'm not sure if this is appropriate and I feel SO guilty. But nothing else has worked... He gets timeouts for misbehaving, but when he's mad throwing a fit and hitting me, a time out won't work. Am I totally out of line? Am I just teaching him that it's ok to be physical with people? Keep in mind I do NOT hit him. I do not cause pain. I flick his hand or side if mouth one time for the shock factor to make him stop slapping or biting. And then sit him down in time out and talk to him about it. What do I do?! Help!

When my daughter bites, I bite her back. Not hard to hurt, but just enough so that she knows how it feels. I then calmly explain to her that it hurts when she bites so she should never do it. I've only had to do this twice and she hasn't bitten again.

When my daughter bites, I bite her back. Not hard to hurt, but just enough so that she knows how it feels. I then calmly explain to her that it hurts when she bites so she should never do it. I've only had to do this twice and she hasn't bitten again.

When my DD throws a tantrum I take her to her room and tell her to have at it and when she's done she can come out. It usually gets her going a little worse but then she calms down and comes out. Then I tell her tantrums are not how she gets her way and that I love her. As far as hitting and biting, well my DD bit me so hard she broke skin threw my shirt. I don't spank normally but that day she got a good spanking. One hit on her bottom then time out. Again when she's done crying I tell her to come see me. I showed her what she had done and told her mommy has a big booboo and mommy is hurting. I told biting is not ok because it hurts so much. She hasn't bitten me since July this year. Hitting I hold her hand and tell her it hurts and not to do it. She's been doing better but it's been a long road. Good luck

When my DD throws a tantrum I take her to her room and tell her to have at it and when she's done she can come out. It usually gets her going a little worse but then she calms down and comes out. Then I tell her tantrums are not how she gets her way and that I love her. As far as hitting and biting, well my DD bit me so hard she broke skin threw my shirt. I don't spank normally but that day she got a good spanking. One hit on her bottom then time out. Again when she's done crying I tell her to come see me. I showed her what she had done and told her mommy has a big booboo and mommy is hurting. I told biting is not ok because it hurts so much. She hasn't bitten me since July this year. Hitting I hold her hand and tell her it hurts and not to do it. She's been doing better but it's been a long road. Good luck

I agree with OP--- my opinion is that using physical punishment (especially when they are in trouble for doing something physical, like hitting) sends a really confusing message: “We’re not supposed to hit… so that’s why Mom is hitting me…?!” Our Los are old enough to understand what we are saying to them, so I see no reason to physically discipline them. If I’m really honest with myself, when my kid has done something really bad and I have the urge to pop her, my urge is coming from a place of anger in that moment. I do not want to discipline my kid out of anger, and I want her to know that, no matter how scary the outside world can be, she can always feel safe with mama. This of course is a decision you need to make for yourself, but if you don’t want to use any form of physical punishment, I would continue using the time outs, even if you don’t see an immediate improvement. Maybe it will take time for him to get the message (and he is welcome to throw a fit in time out if that’s what he needs to do). I’ve also found with my LO that when we are transitioning to something new or I want her to stop doing something, I will tell her that I will count to 3. Somehow, having that transition time of 3 seconds is really helpful, and over time it has really become effective in getting her to do the behavior I am looking for. Last, I try to remember to positively reinforce when she is behaving appropriately. That way, she knows what I DO like to see from her and it doesn’t feel like I’m just constantly nagging all the time! GL!

I agree with OP--- my opinion is that using physical punishment (especially when they are in trouble for doing something physical, like hitting) sends a really confusing message: “We’re not supposed to hit… so that’s why Mom is hitting me…?!” Our Los are old enough to understand what we are saying to them, so I see no reason to physically discipline them. If I’m really honest with myself, when my kid has done something really bad and I have the urge to pop her, my urge is coming from a place of anger in that moment. I do not want to discipline my kid out of anger, and I want her to know that, no matter how scary the outside world can be, she can always feel safe with mama. This of course is a decision you need to make for yourself, but if you don’t want to use any form of physical punishment, I would continue using the time outs, even if you don’t see an immediate improvement. Maybe it will take time for him to get the message (and he is welcome to throw a fit in time out if that’s what he needs to do). I’ve also found with my LO that when we are transitioning to something new or I want her to stop doing something, I will tell her that I will count to 3. Somehow, having that transition time of 3 seconds is really helpful, and over time it has really become effective in getting her to do the behavior I am looking for. Last, I try to remember to positively reinforce when she is behaving appropriately. That way, she knows what I DO like to see from her and it doesn’t feel like I’m just constantly nagging all the time! GL!

Thank you everyone for your replies. I would never want to hurt him & even when I do give him a little pop or something that hurts his feelings I feel completely awful. I want to discipline him right and set rules and follow them, but I will stick to non-physical punishment. Like pp said, in that moment it does come out of anger and I really don't want to do that! Good luck with all your tantrum stages!!

Thank you everyone for your replies. I would never want to hurt him & even when I do give him a little pop or something that hurts his feelings I feel completely awful. I want to discipline him right and set rules and follow them, but I will stick to non-physical punishment. Like pp said, in that moment it does come out of anger and I really don't want to do that! Good luck with all your tantrum stages!!

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