Death and Losing Loved Ones

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by Genealogy.com

How did he/she cope with the death of loved ones? Use this Topic to focus on his/her experiences with and feelings about death. A variety of writing ideas show how his/her views changed over the course of his/her life.

What was his/her or her name? What was this person's relationship to him?

What were his/her first thoughts when he/she heard about the death? Was he/she numb, outraged, pained? Did his/her thoughts or feelings have anything to do with the cause of death ?

How did he/she cope with the death? Did he/she go through a time of denial or isolation? In what ways did he/she deny the death? At what point did he/she stop denying the death? Did the denial stop due to an event or person?

Was anyone there to support and comfort him? Who was that person? In what ways did they make the healing process easier?

Was he/she angry after the death? Some say "when people can no longer deny the truth anger often follows." Did he/she experience this? Did he/she lash out at anyone in particular?

If he/she was angry, how did he/she express it? When did his/her anger start subsiding? Was there a cause or was it a case of "time healing all wounds"?

In what ways did the death of the person significantly affect his/her life? If the person was a parent, child or spouse, how did it affect his/her life to be without him or her?

Was the death difficult to discuss or think about? If so, what about the death made it difficult to discuss? The circumstances of it? his/her feelings towards the deceased? Were family members or friends open to talking about the death, or did people keep their feelings to themselves?

Was the death unexpected? How did the person die? If it was sudden, was it harder to accept than if he/she had been prepared for it?

Did he/she have any unresolved issues in the relationship? Things he/she wished that he/she had said or done before they were gone? How did he/she cope with that? How did he/she find resolution? Did he/she talk with others, cry, or maybe yell?

Were there things he/she wished that he/she had said or done before they were gone? How did he/she cope with that? How did he/she find resolution? Did he/she talk with others, cry, or maybe yell?

Did the death of this person make him think more about his/her own mortality? What were his/her feelings about it?

Was he/she involved in the funeral arrangements? Was there anything particularly memorable about the funeral? Were all the family members there? Was anyone missing?

Who did the eulogy? Was it a significant part of the funeral ceremony? Did he/she feel it was accurate? Was there anything that wasn't said that should have been?

Was there a casket at the funeral? If so, was it open or closed? Did it make it easier or more difficult at the funeral if he/she could see the remains?

Was there a reading of the will? Who attended? Did he/she inherit anything? Was it worth more in sentimental value than monetary value?

Did someone close to him die during his/her childhood or teenage years?

Suicide is one of the largest causes of deaths among teenagers. Was this an issue when he/she was a teen? Did anyone at school die? Was the death of this person related to suicide?

Did someone close to him/her die due to illness?

Did the person have an illness or disease? Was the person terminally ill? Did he/she understand exactly what the illness was? When did he/she realize the seriousness of it?

How long did the person live with the illness? What were his/her feelings when he/she heard the diagnosis?

Did he/she feel prepared for the death? Did he/she say good-bye to the person? How did it make him feel?

Did he/she have mixed feelings about their death? Relief that it was over and pain as he/she tried to adjust to the loss?

Was he/she the primary caregiver of someone? How did it affect his/her lifestyle? Were there any treatments involved with the illness? How did they affect him? Did he/she have a support system, family or friends that helped him to cope?