Monday, June 29, 2009

Hi there, welcome to the Phile, proud sponsor of TACAnow.org and generationrescue.org. I am your host, the Phallen. Last night, Logan and I went to see the new Transformers movie and I was thinking, Rise of the Fallen could be the slogan for Viagra. Someone asked me the other day have I tried The Secret? I did and all I manifested was this lousy blog. The governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, disappeared without telling his staff or his wife where he went. Then he said he was hiking. Then he showed up and held a press conference to announce that he went to Argentina to visit his mistress. This is the guy who some people thought might be a candidate for president. He won't, by the way. In international news, if you're planning a trip to North Korea, don't go. The North Koreans are accusing us of trying to start another war, and they're saying that they will wipe us out if we do. They're probably kidding, though. They have a very good sense of humor about this stuff. Dick Cheney is writing his memoir. It's going to be called, "To Kill a Mockingbird While Aiming at Your Lawyer." It will be published by Satan and Schuster. Well, Schuster's not really involved. Environmentalists say that living naked for a few hours a day will help save the earth. Somebody please keep this information away from Al Gore. Thousands of people are still paying their respect to Michael Jackson. The line to see his star on Hollywood Boulevard stretches around the block. It's longer than the iPhone line.

Michael Jackson news has pretty much wiped out all other news — Iran, Iraq, North Korea, the economy... not even Jon and Kate get mentioned anymore, and that's important stuff. With all the Michael Jackson news, we almost forgot that the other day was Bring Your Dog to Work Day. Which, for blind people, is every day. Speaking of Michael Jackson, have you seen the new inspirational poster? I am not sure what to think about it myself. Take a look...

See what I mean? Well, I have a very beautiful and pleasant guest for you today. Australian country singer Jasmine Rae. But first...

1603The Globe Theater, William Shakespeare's original theatrical venue, burns to the ground.1967Actress Jayne Mansfield is decapitated in a car crash, when her convertible collides with a parked tractor-trailer. To downplay the gruesome death, sources spread the falsehood that only her wig flew off in the accident.1971When Soyuz 11 disengages from the Salyut space station, cosmonauts Georgi Dobrovolsky, Vladislav Volkov, and Viktor Patsayev are killed by a faulty pressurization valve. All the oxygen leaks out of the Soyuz cabin before Patsayev can close the valve by hand, and the crew is asphyxiated.1978The body of Bob Crane is discovered in bed with an electric cord wrapped around his neck and his head smashed in. When Scottsdale police search the apartment belonging to the former star of television's "Hogan's Heroes", they discover a video camera and a large library of amateur porn starring Crane and a parade of random women.1989Under the headline "Homosexual Prostitution Probe Ensnares Official of Bush, Reagan" the Washington Times reports that "a homosexual prostitution ring is under investigation by federal and District authorities and includes among its clients key officials of the Reagan and Bush administrations, military officers, congressional aides and U.S. and foreign businessmen with close ties to Washington's political elite." The story alleges that homosexual call boys had been given tours of the White House, under the aegis of Republican Craig Spence. Spence's body is later found at the Ritz-Carlton in Boston, an apparent suicide.1992Mohammed Boudiaf is assassinated by one of his own bodyguards less than six months after becoming President of Algeria. A former hero in the war of independence, Boudiaf had been chosen by the Islamic Salvation Front to serve as figurehead for their regime. More than 100,000 Algerians will later die in political bloodshed in the following decade.

Phact 1: The random symbols (#*!&@) used to indicate obscenities in comic strips are called "grawlix."Phact 2: Teddy Roosevelt's dog, Pete, ripped a French ambassador's pants off at the White House.Phact 3: The first Web site ever built was located at http://info.cern.ch.Phact 4: Forty-one percent of women apply body or hand moisturizer a minimum three times a day.Phact 5: A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.

TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE FALLENKnow the sequel cliché "Give 'em the same, only more of it"? Never has this been more apt than with Transformers: ROTF—not to be confused with Transformers: ROFL or Transformers: LMAO. You're pretty much getting the 2007 Transformers movie again: Robots from space need the help of a human boy named Sam (Shia LaBeouf) to get something or other that means a lot to them and kind of has an impact on the fate of Earth in a roundabout way—only with bigger robots and bigger explosions. Like the first time around, the special effects are pretty much what you're paying to see and they are, once again, very impressive. Bay clearly took some notes from his first go-round and finally allows some of the fight scenes to breathe a little bit, particularly a forest throwdown with Optimus Prime. He actually inserts some long shots to give you a sense of scale and setting, something he hardly did in Transformers. You can tell which robot is punching and which one is being punched. And some of the scenes shot exclusively for IMAX are jaw-droppingly cool. But... the script is a mess. The entire movie feels like it's being told to you by a hyperactive 10-year-old: "And then this guys comes in… and then he hits this guy… Oh! I forget, they need this key thing to start the machine… and then the robot humps this girl and you see boobies and one of the robots has balls!" Bay tries to inject humor one minute (only problem: He's not funny) then tries for Black Hawk Down seriousness the next. The movie is also a ridiculous two and a half hours long when a good hour of it could have been chopped with absolutely no impact on the plot (see: pot brownies). Plot points are also tossed aside with reckless abandon and continuity is beyond an afterthought—"Wait, Transformers can take human form now? Um, care to explain that?" "Nope! Too late, we're moving on!" And we still don't buy a kid like LaBeouf ditching Megan Fox and a Camaro that can change into a killer robot for Intro To Astronomy 101. Tom Kenny (the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, kids!) voices a pair of twin robots called Mudflap and Skids. Let's just say he and Bay are apparently big fans of old-timey comedy. I give it a seven, and Logan gives it a ten which pretty much says he'll be getting it on DVD for his birthday or Christmas.

Today's guest is a classically trained Australian Country singer and songwriter who is best known for her song "Country Singer" and for winning the Telstra Road to Tamworth in 2008. She'll be starting her July tour on July 11th at Yass Soldiers Club in Yass New South Wales, so if you're in Australia. Please welcome to the Phile... Jasmine Rae.

Me: First of, Jasmine, I have to say you are beautiful, and you have an amazing singing voice. How are you?

Jasmine: I'm feeling fabulous. Hope u r too:)

Me: You're gonna be big one day, Jasmine. You're getting pretty popular in Australia, right? Do you have a lot of guys chasing you?

Me: Speaking of Australia, where in Australia are you from? And do you surf? All Australian's surf, right?

Jasmine: Hmmm not all Australians. Melbourne, Victoria- its a little chillier down here than most places in OZ.

Me: Not many country singers are from Australia, unless you count that Keith Urban guy... LOL. Is country music big there, and do you know Keith?

Jasmine: I don't know Keith yet, no, But he does a great job. Love his work. Country music is getting bigger and bigger here. Soon its gonna take over... well thats my goal anyway : )

Me: You recorded some of your new album in Nashville, and played at the CMT Music Festival. Was Nashville like you expected it to be?

Jasmine: I didn't have too many expectations, I was just very excited to be there. But I'm looking forward to visiting again soon.

Me: Did you get to do a lot of sightseeing while you were there? Where else in the States have you been?

Jasmine: Nashville is the only place in the State that I have travelled to so far! It was actually my first time outside of Australia. Now I've got the taste for travelling and would like to see all the sights next time I visit.

Me: I just watched your video for "Look It Up". Was it fun to make, and is that your first video?

Jasmine: I love making videos! They are all so much fun. "Country Singer" was my first video from the "Look It Up" album. that was super fun with all of the 'speed dating' characters and I've just fiinished making my new clip for "Pink Guitar."

Me: Speaking of "Look It Up", that's the title of your new CD which I tried to download off iTunes, but it's only available on the Australian iTunes which I cannot buy... so will it be available on the US iTunes? I would except an autographed copy. ; )

Jasmine: Hmmm... I didn't know it was unavailable to you guys on iTunes. I'll get onto that. Would love for you guys to hear it. I'm sure you could order them in.

Me: Tell me about the Australian Defense Force tour. What is it, and how was it?

Jasmine: It was a great experience- I went over to East Timor with some other great entertainers from Australia to bring some Christmas cheer to our Troops who are doing an important peacekeeping job over there.

Me: Congrats on being the winner of the Telstra Road to Tamworth winner. Explain what that is, and how you felt when you won.

Jasmine: Telstra Road to Tamworth is a country music talent competition. I guess similar to Nashville Star. I now have a record deal with Australian Label ABC/Universal and video clips and songs on country music TV and radio. It's been an unbelievable experience.

Me: In 2009 you're gonna be opening for Brooks and Dunn on their Australian tour. Becareful of that Kix character, I heard he was trouble. LOL. Are you looking forward to that tour?

Jasmine: Yeah I guess its ok... are you kidding? I can't sleep if I think about it too much cos I'm so excited. Yay, its going to be brilliant!

Me: Okay, when are you gonna come back and tour America? You need to come to Florida, Jasmine.

Jasmine: Very soon I hope :)

Me: Hey, there's a Jasmine Rae that performs on "The Greatest Story Never Told" by rapper Shyheim. That's not you, is it?

Jasmine: Nope not that I know of.

Me: Jasmine, not only do you have looks and a great talent, you're also pretty smart. You have an Advanced Diploma in Music. What is that about, and when did you get it?

Jasmine: I finished the two year boot camp. I mean course... hehe... in 2007. It was great, thats where I learned how to write music!!

Me: Have you been singing all your life?

Jasmine: Yes indeedy - professionally since I was 14.

Me: You worked with famed producer Richard Landis... was that in Nashville or Australia? You also worked with Louie Shelton who played with the Jackson 5, the Monkees, and Lionel Richie. I bet he had some great stories.

Jasmine: Louie and Richard are both great! (I worked with them in Australia). Louie has become attatched to the sunny Queensland coast of OZ where he now lives. It was an honour to work with them.

Me: Jasmine, I hope this was fun, and I hope to see you in concert one day. All the best, you rock.

Jasmine: Thanks for stopping by:) xo take care.

PHINALLY

Thanks to Jasmine and a great interview. Also thanks to Wikipedia, of course. The Phile will be back on Friday with singer Darcie Monet and then next Monday with the drummer for Sister Hazel Mark Trojanowski. In the meantime, spread the word, not the turd. Thanks for reading.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Hello, welcome to another Friday entry of the Phile, proud sponsor of TACAnow.org and generationrescue.org, I am your host, star of The Taking of Peckham 123, Jason Peverett. Only British readers would probably get that reference. Speaking of Brit's, today's guest is a bloke named Paul who is the lead singer for British dance band Bassland. He's a regular Justin Timberlake, kids. Sad news about Jon and Kate, right? The couple from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" filed for divorce. The show's going to go on, it's just going to be called "Jon & Kate Minus Half of Jon's Stuff." MySpace has fired 60 percent of its workforce. They notified workers as fast as possible. They left messages on their Facebook pages. Did you see the premier of "America's Got Talent"? It's based on an English show called, "Britain's Got Talent." Which they do, in some areas. In others, not so much. Like dentistry — there's very little talent. I can say that, I'm British. The winner of "America's Got Talent" gets a million bucks. Which sounds great until you find out it's paid over 40 years. So that's $25,000 a year... which is considered poverty level. But it's poverty for 40 years, guaranteed! Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina, mysteriously disappeared last week. Then on Sunday, a spokesman said he was "hiking the Appalachian Trail." I think that's a euphemism. "What's that lipstick on your face?" "I was 'hiking the Appalachian Trail.'" He was busted getting off a flight from Argentina. You know where all this is headed... the press conference when you have to tell the whole world... He admitted to the affair in Argentina. Great — now we're outsourcing mistresses. There's been a whole bunch of scandals involving governors. You know things are bad when the most normal governor of the last decade has been Jesse 'The Body' Ventura. Sad news in the music industry happened yesterday. Michael Jackson died in Los Angeles. Reports say he died of cardiac arrest. All the local news channels went live with the coverage. Michael Jackson helped break down racial prejudice in the country. He was a powerful symbol. He was a black performer who whites could relate to, and then later in life, he was a white performer who blacks could relate to. The doctors tried to revive him by pushing on his chest saying "Beat it. Beat it." Is it too soon? Man, I bet Farrah Fawcett is looking down from heaven pissed off. Her death was number one in the news, and then Michael had to go and die and take over the media. Kinda like when my dad passed away and his news was taken over by Doung Henning. Alright, for the last ten years Guests and Cast Members at Disney have been pin trading. This is what Wikipedia says about it, Disney Pin Trading is the buying and trading of collectible pins and related items featuring Disney characters, attractions, icons, and other elements. Many thousands of unique pins have been created over the years. Pins are available for a limited time; the base price for a pin is US$6.95. Limited edition pins, and special pins (e.g. pins that have a dangle, pin-on-pin, flocking, lenticular, light-up, moving element, 3-D element, etc.) cost up to $14.95. Featured Artist and Jumbo Pins cost between $20 and $35 and Super Jumbo pins cost upwards of, and sometimes beyond, $75. Each guest may purchase up to two pins of each style per day. Pins are frequently released at special events, movie premiers, pin trading events or to commemorate the opening day of a new attraction. Some pins have appreciated well on the secondary market and have reached prices of over US$500 at venues such as eBay. Most Disney pins are enamel or enamel cloisonné with a metal base. Understand? It's really a big deal where I work. Some pins are obvious what they are... Mickey, Spaceship Earth, Wall-E, and some... well, you need a bloody good imagination. So, once in awhile I will show you kids an odd Disney pin. And guess what? I have one to show you today. Check it out. It's either the Tree of Life from Disney's Animal Kingdom or an old man's junk. What do you think?

Phact 1: Scientists believe herring communicate with one another by passing gas.Phact 2: Dimples are the result of a genetic flaw.Phact 3: Unicorns are mentioned nine times in the King James version of the Bible.Phact 4: Only 2% of women around the world describe themselves as beautiful.Phact 5: According to medical researchers, the part of the brain that can detect sarcasm is the right parahippocampal gyrus.

From the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Side Effects of the Transition to Digital TV.

10. Regis keeps popping up in my microwave.9. All the channels are now in the metric system.8. Wolf Blitzer is now more "blitzery".7. "According to Jim" now hilarious.6. Now you can use your VCR to bake a potato.5. The President's ears finally appear on new widescreen.4. You suddenly understand what "Lost" is all about.3. Reduces the size of Keith Olbermann's head.2. Having to see what the women on "The View" actually look like.And the number one side effect of the transition to digital TV...1. Ever since TV went digital, all channels now just show Letterman apologizing for something.

1945The United Nations Charter is signed at San Francisco's War Memorial Opera House, paving the way for the New World Order. Aim for the blue helmets, everyone!1961John F. Kennedy tells the German nation and pastry lovers everywhere "Ich bin ein Berliner"; whether or not he is, in fact, a jelly donut remains a matter of speculation to this day.1968Pope Paul VI declares that the bones of Apostle and first Pope, Saint Peter, were found underneath St. Peter's Basilica in Rome. The bones are now housed in plexiglass containers near where they were found, but some of them are clearly those of domesticated animals.1990Irish Republican Army bombs the Carlton Club, an exclusive conservative gentleman's cabal in London. (It is a well known fact that Margaret Thatcher was denoted an "honorary man" in order to become a member. It is not clear what surgical modifications, if any, were necessary.)1992G O N A V Y

Secretary of the Navy H. Lawrence Garrett resigns over the handling of the Tailhook Scandal, in which 26 women were sexually abused. Some of the women, including 14 Navy officers, had been forced to run through a "gauntlet" where they were groped by Navy personnel.

Okay, today's guest is a singer from England who also dances and who I am very confused about. I will explain after this interview. Anyway, please welcome to the Phile... Paul from Bassland.

Me: Hello, Paul, how are you? I have to ask first, where is Bassland? Is it next to Guitarland?

Paul: Hello! I'm great thanks apart from the rainy cold British weather... Bassland is in the UK. Or more precise the Midlands just outside Birmingham... and very good to the Guitar joke :-)

Me: Tell me about Bassland, you're the singer, but who else is in the band?

Paul: Bassland is a Dance Act it consists of myself as lead singer, Ray Brook as producer and writer and we have Dancers who back me in live shows.

Me: Where in the Midlands, UK are you from? I lived in Oxford, in a village called Fulbrook near Burford from '84 to '87.

Paul: I live in Stoke On Trent have done for quite some time now but I have a close association with Liverpool as that is where I trained and lots of my friends are there. I know Oxford well I have a couple of friends from Oxford Uni!

Me: Describe Bassland's music. I love the song "Where the Sunsets".

Paul: Bassland's music I would class as a fusion of club and techno with a bit of euro influence. Musically it's very upbeat and has a party vibe to it however there is a more serious side to the lyrics I think. Where the sunsets is one of my favs too! It's great to sing.

Me: There's also a song about Amsterdam. Did you spend some time there? My sister and her husband lived there for quite a few years.

Paul: That's totally Ray that track I have no connection to Amsterdam the place, I have never actually been... although I feel I need to now and will definatly plan a trip in the near future. Ray loves it there. He's been a few times. The track is a great one... we have several versions of it too all great.

Me: You remind me of Robbie Williams, who I am a huge fan of. Is he an influence of yours?

Paul: Absolutely Robbie Williams is actually from Stoke On Trent also he was born here and lived his childhood here, his mum still lives here too! It's cool I remind people of Robbie I have been told this on a number of occasions, he's an icon and a huge talent and he has been of huge influence to my career to date. I used to be in a boyband and we did lots of Robbie songs in the show. He's an amazing writing talent.

Me: You are also a dancer, right? Do you dance in Bassland shows, or is that something different that you do?

Paul: I am a trained Dancer yes, I do dance in bassland alongside the dancers, I perform some of the choreography but some of its hard to do whilst singing live at the same time, the show is choreographed to a high standard and is visually stunning...the dancers also get a chance to shine as they are amazing, they do a little number on their own to open the show. Dancing is a huge passion of mine from street to Ballet I am classicly trained too

Me: Are you guys planning on touring the States anytime?

Paul: Anything is possible and we would love to tour the states... would you like to arrange a tour for us? ;-)

Me: I bet you get a lot of girls falling for you, right?

Paul: Hmmm... now I'm all shy... ya know it's great to be attractive to anyone, I consider it an honour when someone is attracted to me!!!!!!!

Me: I hope you're working on a CD. If so, will it be available on iTunes?

Paul: We are currently in the studio recording an album Ray and I have a great relationship which is constantly developing this comes out in the music we create so we are collaborating as much as we can to produce the best sound we can... once we have lots of music we will then decide whats going where etc... then yes it will be available to buy and download etc.

Me: You see Madonna in concert, right? How was it? Did she lip-sync?

Paul: Yeah, I always get tickets to see Madonna when she tours shes an amazing talent and a massive influence to me... she does lip sync on stage in some songs but only a machine could do a 60 date world tour with 20 songs full out dance routines quick changes totally live

Me: I interviewed a young lady named Liana, who also dances and sings. Do you know her?

Paul: No sorry don't think I do!!!

Me: Finally, do you have anything you would like to plug, and tell the phans of the Phile? Any advice? Words of wisdom?

Paul: Keep visiting the Bassland Myspace for news updates and new music we have a new website coming soon also. The only advice I would give to people is to follow your dreams and if it means living in a dream then so be it!!!!!

Me: Thanks for taking part, Paul. Good luck with everything. Hope this was fun.

Paul: No worries matey, thank-you x.

PHINALLY

Okay, want to know what I don't understand, kids? I checked Bassland's Myspace site and there's no mention of Paul whatsoever. So, I don't know if Paul is in the band anymore. Crazy, eh? I sent a request to Ray Brook, the man behind Bassland and invited him to the Phile, so maybe we can find out what's going on. Anyway, Paul did seem like a nice guy, and I wish him well whatever he is doing now. So, thanks to Paul, and thanks to Wikipedia as well. The Phile will be back on Monday with hot Australian country singer Jasmine Rae, and review of the new Terminator movie. So, until then, spread the word, not the turd.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Hello, welcome to another Monday entry of the Phile. It's like an orgy for the brain. Speaking of orgies, today's guest is a very talented singer from England who calls himself Orji. Man, that guy is slick. I bet he gets all kinds of woman. The Phile is a proud sponsor of TACAnow.org and generationrescue.org. The Mexican navy this week siezed almost 2,000 pounds of cocaine hidden inside the bodies of frozen sharks. Who knew Mexico had a navy? It's already being made into a movie: Sharkface. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is in a cast. She fell and fractured her elbow. Fortunately, her scowl broke her fall. Everyone is concerned about her. To wish her well, they flew a pantsuit at half-mast at the White House. The president is getting a lot of criticism from PETA... the Psychotic Ethical Treatment of Animals. They're taking exception to the president killing a fly. For real. I guess the fly was a gift from the president of Ethiopia. They're saying he should have captured the fly and taken it outside. They have relocated the fly's family to the rose garden where they are now living on a fresh pile of Obama's dog droppings. Did you dad's out there have a good Father's Day? I worked all day, then got home, had a two hour nap and we went out to the Outback. Logan said to me, "Hey Dad, on your special day, how 'bout updating your will?" It was nice of him to go through the motions like this every year. Ever see those inspirational posters you can buy at those inspirational type stores? You know what I mean? I posted one a few entries ago. Anyway, I found this one and thought it was a bit depressing. Check it out.

See what I mean? Not very inspirational, but it is factual.

1633The Holy Office in Rome forces Galileo Galilei to recant his scientific view that the Sun, not the Earth, is the center of the Universe: "I abjure with a sincere heart and unfeigned faith these errors and heresies, and I curse and detest them as well as any other error, heresy or sect contrary to the Holy Catholic Church."1940France surrenders; hilarity ensues. Adolf Hitler forces the instrument of surrender to be signed in the very railcar in which the French inflicted the humiliating World War I Treaty of Versailles upon the Germans.1941The German Army invades Russia, quickly destroying five Russian armies and one fourth of the Red air force. At completion of the war in 1945, nearly 27 million Soviets were dead. Thus ended the German-Soviet "Peace and Friendship" Treaty.1969Judy Garland dies of a barbiturate overdose in her London apartment, either by accident or suicide. Quote from Judy: "When I die I have visions of fags singing 'Over the Rainbow' and the flag at Fire Island being flown at half mast."1993Dr. Charles Epstein of Tiburon, CA is injured when he opens a padded manilla package containing a surprise gift from the Unabomber.2004In a chance meeting between Vice President Dick Cheney and Senator Patrick Leahy, the pair argue about Halliburton's no-bid Iraq contracts. The "frank exchange of views" ends, Cheney says this to Leahy: Fuck yourself! Cheney's spokesman does not deny the VP dropped the f-bomb.

Okay, let's get down to it. Today's guest is a soul, r&b singer from London, who describes himself as a random muse. I describe myself as random funny. Anyway, please welcome to the Phile... Orji.

Me: Hello, Orji, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Orji: Hi, Jay, I'm fine thanks.

Me: Is this your first interview you have ever done?

Orji: Yes, it is.

Me: How long have you been writing music, and what did you do before that?

Orji: Unlike those who'll nearly claim they wrote, sang and danced when they were tots, I wrote my first song when I was in the secondary school, but unfortunately it was a Seminary and I started having problem thereon.

Me: I couldn't find any info on you on the web, so help me. Where are you from, and what kind of music do you play?

Orji: I'm from Peterborough UK, annd I'm a soul land r&b artiste.

Me: So, you are recording your music in London? How is that going? Where in London are you recording?

Orji: Yea, started off in London and finished at The Lodge studios Northampton.

Me: Do you have a band or are you doing all yourself?

Orji: I'm a solo act, tho' but can't wait to have a band if this single is any way near success.

Me: Do you paint and do art as well, or just write and sing, sir?

Orji: Yea sir, I do and had ehibited in the past. My next exhibition will be all my song in abstract painting on acrylic.

Me: Who are your influences and idols? I am guessing you like Bob Marley.

Orji: Like you know, he was a genius. Others are Marvin Gaye, Ray, Dusty and Quincy & the king 'Wacko'.

Me: What about touring? Do you play live often?

Orji: You don't make money from gigs if you don't have a good song in the market. I did in the past but if I'm lucky to have great fans, I'll start again.

Me: Orji, do you have anything else you would like to tell the phans of the Phile? I hope this was fun for you. Let me know when you get a website up, and I'll plug it for ya. Good luck with your music, sir.

Orji: No sir.

PHINALLY

Man, that was one boring interview, wasn't it? Anyway, his music is good. You can download his two songs at iTunes. Just look up Orji. Well, the Phile will be back this Friday with Paul Bassland, a singer and dancer from England. Until then, spread the word, not the turd.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Hi there, thanks for being here, and welcome to the Phile, proud sponsor of TACAnow.org and generationrescue.org. So, this Sunday is Father's Day. We are going to do what we do every year... my son is gonna take me and get a blood test done. "Really, Logan, for crying out loud, I am your father!" Speaking of father's, we found out this week that "The Best of Foghat" went gold. We were so thrilled, we celebrated all week, and dad would be proud. In related news, I've just been elected President of Iran. I think I'd rather be the queen of Clermont. Did you here this story from Florida: America's Wang? A two year old baby fell out of a car and the mother didn't realize until she drove at least two miles. The father of the baby was pissed, of course. I was thinking, man, my wife gets mad at me if I don't answer my iPhone in the car. It was not a great week for Chicago. They're having the coldest June on record. It's so cold, Dr. Phil is kissing Oprah's ass just to stay warm. People are wondering how long it will last. Experts are saying the weather will change when Oprah tells it to. Did you see on TV president Obama killed a fly during an interview? It was kind of impressive. Of course, PETA is very upset. Sen. John Ensign of Nevada had to resign as chairman of the Republican Policy Committee because he admitted to having an affair. It was an unusual affair for a senator — it was with a woman.

It's nice to see senators branching out — now that's change I can believe in. Hillary Clinton fell down the other and broke her elbow. This is the worst break for a secretary of state since Madeleine Albright broke my heart. Call me, Mad Dog. You know Fox News is going to be all over this: "This proves the Democrats are weak — Reagan fell over 10 times and didn't even break his hair." The official report says that Hillary fell while walking to her car. But she's telling people that she broke it dodging sniper fire. You know who I'm blaming for her fall, the under secretary of state, William Burns. That's right, Mr. Burns, I'm calling you out — you should have been under secretary of state as she fell. One more thing, did you see the new billboard signs that Subway has out? Very odd. Take a look. Odd, eh? It got my attention, alright. Mike Gent is coming up... but first...

A month ago or so I announced the Phile For Soldiers program and said I would mention it about once a month, so here we are. The Phile adopted six soldiers who are based somewhere overseas for Phile phans to send letters to. The letters don't have to be long, just tell them that you are thinking about them. Some of these soldiers don't even have families back home, so here at the Phile we are their families. And bands... send a CD or something, they would love to listen to some good music. Anyway, here are the names and the address. Phans, don't let me down. Eugene ShinerCarlos RiveraTony TorresCasper WadlingtonPhillip WallingerManuel GarcesAnd the address to send them letters is:143d ESCAPO AE 09355

Speaking of soldiers, some are getting very desperate to come home. Take a look at this.

The poor bastard is so desperate he wants to come back to Florida. Anyway, god bless our troops.

From the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Complaints Of Jon & Kate's Kids.

10. Mom spent our allowance on liposuction.9. Fat camera guy keeps stealing the last slices of pizza.8. When mom calls you number 5 and you're really number 3.7. "Quality time" with mom reduced to "photo-op" for People magazine.6. Cameras make potty training a bit awkward.5. Hard to spell "exploitation".4. Camera adds ten pounds of baby fat.3. Angelina Jolie doesn't want to adopt us.2. We didn't trademark the term "Octomom". And the Gosslin kids number one complaint...1. Dad hogs computer most of the time searching singles ads.

1312Piers Gaveston, the disturbingly open homosexual lover of King Edward II of England, is beheaded after he attempted to return to Edward's side. For a time Gaveston was ward of the underage boy before the death of his father Edward I, to the great dismay of many important lords. After succession to king, Edward appointed Gaveston as Earl of Cornwall for no other reason than being the king's personal cornhole.1867Emperor Maximilian of Mexico is executed by firing squad. Although he bribed the seven riflemen to not shoot him in the head, one did anyway.1934The Federal Communications Commission, perhaps the most wicked body of do-gooders ever to exist in the United States, is created with the passage of the Communications Act of 1934. The FCC's ostensible purpose is to censor interesting broadcasts, silence dissenting political opinion and shelter Americans from dirty words and boobies.1953Atomic spies Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are electrocuted at Sing-Sing Prison, becoming the first civilians ever executed for espionage in American history. Five jolts of electricity were required to kill Ethel. Her husband Julius was on the Soviet payroll, according to recently released archives. It is not clear whether Ethel had any involvement or how much Julius actually assisted the Soviet atomic bomb effort.1964San Francisco's Condor Club becomes the first topless bar in the United States when dancer Carol Doda steps onstage in a bottom-only swimsuit designed by Rudi Gernreich. Other San Francisco clubs follow suit just days later.1982Roberto Calvi, chairman of Banco Ambrosiano, is found hanging from Blackfriar's Bridge in London. His death is initially ruled a suicide, though it is quite obviously murder; that assessment is later overturned. Calvi may have been killed because of his involvement in the laundering of drug money through the Vatican Bank.1999While taking a walk, horror author Stephen King is struck by a van piloted by a distracted Bryan Smith. King's extensive injuries (broken leg, broken hip, lacerated scalp and collapsed lung) remanded him to a hospital bed for three weeks. Smith would later die in his sleep on Stephen King's birthday.

Phact 1: Bubbles in champagne were seen by early wine makers as a highly undesirable defect, one that should be prevented.Phact 2: "Typhlobasia" is the practice of closing one's eyes when kissing.Phact 3: Just less than one quarter of the people in the world are vegetarians.Phact 4: William Howard Taft was the first golfer to become President.Phact 5: It is tradition in countries such as Venezuela and Peru to wear yellow underwear on New Year's Day for good luck throughout the coming year.

Today's guest is a huge deal for me to be here. He is a songwriter, and singer for the band The Figgs, one of my favorite bands, and has just released a solo album which is excellent. There's a reason I chose the picture of the gentleman... please welcome to the Phile... Mike Gent.

Me: Hello, Mike, how are you? Welcome to the Phile.

Mike: I'm great. A little tired from the tour.

Me: So, where are you right now and how has '09 been so far?

Mike: I just returned home from the mid-west. I have been in a mini van for a straight 24 hours. 2009 has been alright so far. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Me: You have a solo album coming out called "Mike Gent". What made you do your own thing? Do you have any guest players on it?

Mike: I met this guy Ducky who has a fantastic studio right down the road from my house. He recorded the last Mike Viola record "Lurch". I liked how that record sounded, and Ducky is a great hang so I thought it was a good time to make a record by myself. I played everything on it. You can buy one at thefiggs.com.Wink... Wink... Plug... Plug...

Me: I first heard about you and The Figgs from Graham Parker, sir. How did you get to meet Graham? Did you approach him as a band or did he approach you guys?

Mike: I met Graham in Atlanta around 1995. He was playing a solo show early at the same club we were playing. I introduced myself in the dressing room, told him I was a fan and we talked about his records and songs. Maybe six months later he called and asked us to be his band for the tour in support of "Acid Bubblegum".

Me: How long did you rehearse with him for?

Mike: We have done five tours with him since 1996. Usually Graham and I come up with a setlist, Figgs rehearse it for a couple of days then GP comes in and we do a couple of rehearsals with him.

Me: The Figgs also played on his album "Songs Of No Consequence" in '05. Was that a big surprise you were asked to record with him?

Mike: No surprise. We had talked about it and fans had asked if we were going to so it was just about finding the time and songs.

Me: Any future collaborations with GP?

Mike: I made his last record with him called "Don't Tell Columbus" that came out in 2007. I'm not sure what his next plans are.

Me: The Figgs also backed up Tommy Stinson from The Replacements. Where did Stinson first hear you? Did you record with him as well?

Mike: We did. He played on a record of ours called "Palais". That was in the middle of the tour that we did with him. On the same session we cut a Clash song "Hatefull" for this magazine Uncut.

Me: How many albums have the Figgs made? A shit load, right? You guys are very busy with all the projects. Do you ever have downtime?

Mike: We have made 9 studio LP's, 2 live records and a bunch of singles, comps, and EP's.

Me: When and how did the Figgs form? Are you all original members?

Mike: We started the band in 1987 in High School. Pete Donnelly, myself, and Guy Lyons. Pete Hayes joined in 1989 so yeah all original members.

Me: Where is the band based? Upstate New York?

Mike: Originally, yes, Saratoga Springs. None of us have lived there since the mid 90's. We are all spread out in NYC, Philly, and Boston.

Me: You also produced a band called The Gentlemen. Where are they from? Do you enjoy producing?

Mike: I play in that band also! It's me and three friends from a band called The Gravel Pit.In general I don't like being in the studio. I don't enjoy hearing the same song over and over for hours at a time or hearing a part of the song on a loop while an engineer twiddles knobs and stares at a computer monitor. That is not my idea of a good time. I like playing live.

Me: One more question about the Figgs... where did the band name come from? If it was my band it would of been called The Phiggs.

Mike: I don't know. I have always disliked the name but we have had it for so long it doesn't really matter. I saw recently that there was a band called The Figs, and I thought that if I was starting a new band today, I would check online to see if that name had been used. Duh..The Phiggs is even worse.

Me: After the solo album, are you doing a solo tour? Then after that, what's next?

Mike: No tour. Maybe a few shows. Not sure yet. The rest of the year will be spent working on a Figgs record.

Me: I am going to interview GP soon! What should I ask him?

Mike: When is he going to make an acoustic record with The Figgs?

Me: Mike, go ahead and plug any website you want and is there anything else you wanna tell the Phile readers?

Mike: Please buy my record! Thefiggs.com or thefiggs.net. Cheers!

Me: Mike, I will always be a fan. Good luck with everything, hope this was fun, and I hope to interview you again soon.

Mike: Thank you.

PHINALLY

Thanks to Mike Gent for taking time to do this interview. You can also download The Figgs' albums and Mike's solo album from iTunes like I did, as well as the albums he did with Graham Parker. Alright, that takes care of another entry. Thanks again to Mike, and Wikipedia of course. The Phile will be back on Monday with English soul singer Orji. Yes, that's really his name. So, tell your friends we are having an orji at the Phile. LOL. Remember, spread the word, not the turd, and Happy Father's Day, dads out there.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Hello there, are you ready for a Monday phixing of the Phile? The Phile is as you probably know by now a sponsor of generationrescue.org and TACAnow.org. I heard Prince needs a double hip replacement. Wow. Tonight he's going to party like he just turned 99. The Olsen twins both turned 23 this past weekend. They'll celebrated like they do every year — they got a birthday cake and didn't eat it. President Obama signed a note for a fourth-grade girl who missed school so she could attend his town hall. I don’t see what the big deal is. Bush wrote notes for fourth graders too — he just called them “speeches.” Lil Wayne will be the proud father of two new sons from two different women. Yeah — the women were Lil Drunk and Lil Stoned. Norman Brinker, the man who invented the salad bar, passed away this week. The wake was open-casket but with a sneeze-guard. They lowered his casket into the ground using giant tongs. And now for a special Monday edition top ten list...

And the number one Sonia Sotomayor excuse... 1. Twisted ankle trying to get away from Clarence Thomas.

1409Petros Philargos is elected Pope Alexander V by the Council of Pisa. This poses a certain amount of difficulty, as there already is a Pope in Rome, Gregory XII, and another in Avignon, Benedict XII. Ultimately, none of the three is willing to step down, leading the Chuch into a double schism.1667Jean-Baptiste Denis performs the world's first blood transfusion on a human subject. He gives a feverish and drowsy man about 12 ounces of lamb's blood, after which the patient "rapidly recovered from his lethargy, grew fatter and was an object of surprise and astonishment to all who knew him." Nevertheless, it will be another century before human-to-human transfusions are attempted.1955The Eisenhower administration stages the first annual OPAL exercise. In the "Operation Alert" drill, air raid sirens blare across America to assess our preparations for a nuclear attack. Duck and cover, people.1969"Hee Haw" debuts on CBS television as a summer replacement for the "Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour". The country bumpkin musical comedy show quickly becomes an institution, airing weekly until its demise in December 1997.1992The Supreme Court rules in US v. Alvarez-Machain that it is permissible for America to abduct suspects in foreign countries and smuggle them into the United States for trial, without extradition approval from those other countries. Of course, the U.S. recognizes no reciprocal right for the reverse to happen on our soil.1993The Washington Times reports that at least 1,416 Boy Scout leaders have been expelled for molestation since 1973. Of course, those were only the ones who actually got caught.1999Nicholas Vitalich is arrested outside a supermarket in San Diego, California for slapping his girlfriend upside the head with a large tuna. Vitalich is booked for assault with a deadly weapon, namely the fish.

The first look at Mickey Rourke as Iron Man's new nemesis, Whiplash, has hit the Internet courtesy of USA Today. Rourke is playing Ivan Vanko, a Russian ex-con (notice the prison tattoos) who has constructed his own version of an Iron Man suit. Of course, he has all kinds of nifty little additions such as a pair of whips, powered by the suit's glowing chest piece. But Jon Favreau won't say whether or not Vanko works for Stark Industries' rival Justin Hammer, as he does in the comics. "We like to play into and against the expectations that people might have so, we mixed it up a bit." Here he's making his first appearance not just online, but to the Marvel world at the Monaco Historic Grand Prix. So, what do you think? It's definitely inspired by the original character's suit, but thankfully doesn't resemble an S&M gimp. I like how raw and unfinished it looks, and the tattoos are awesome. Overall, it's a rather terrifying effect... but I think that has more to do with Rourke and his surgical enhancements than anything to do with the costume or the character.

And now for...

Okay, let's get on with today's guest. He is a very talented singer from Canada who looks like a young Donny Osmond. He'll be playing at Harbourfront Jubilee Theatre, Summerside, Prince Edward on June 23rd (wherever that is). Please welcome to the Phile... Michael Hughes.

Me: Hello, Michael, welcome to the Peverett Phile. So, I have to ask, has anybody ever told you you look like a young Donny Osmond?

Michael: Haha! Lately, people have been telling my little sister and me that we look like Donny and Marie. I think it’s hilarious. I’m going to try and talk her into dressing up as them for Halloween this year. I’ll send you a picture.

Me: I checked out your blogspot, and it looks pretty good. Better then mine looks. Well, almost. How often do you update it?

Michael: Thank you! I TRY to update it every time I have a spare minute… which hasn’t really been working out the busier I have been getting. BUT I do have some exciting news! In the next few weeks we are taking the blog HIGH DEF! You can expect to see Video Blogs, Performance Footage (videos from my various gigs/studio sessions, with cameos by my crazy talented friends), and some other really fun things that are still in the planning stages. The main goal is to keep it entertaining and interactive, with updates every couple of days!

Me: I interviewed quite a few Canadians, Michael. Where in Canada are you from? Do you still live in Canada?

Michael: I was born, raised and currently reside in Toronto, Ontario.

Me: We have something in common, Michael, we both worked for Disney. Actually, I still do. What did you do for the company and for how long? I have been at Epcot for over 20 years. Ever been there?

Michael: I worked as singer for Disney for two years in Tokyo, Japan. It was a really wonderful experience. That city is as cool as it gets. And I got to be friends with Mickey Mouse. That guy is a serious celebrity in Japan! Haha! I haven’t been to Epcot before, but I heard this great rumor that you can have a “Drink around the World”. If it’s true then I think I will definitely have to plan a visit sometime soon!

Me: You recently came back from a USO tour of Japan, right? How was that? Were you well received and did you take a full band?

Michael: Yes I did. It was a whirlwind experience. I don’t think I got more than three hours sleep the whole time I was there. We were always finishing a show and then going to the hotel to try and sleep a couple hours before getting on a bus in the middle of the night and driving to the next Naval base or airport. I got to see a whole other part of Japan that I didn’t get to experience while I was living in Tokyo. One night we opened for the band, Alien Ant Farm. It was an odd pairing. But I am really thankful for that experience. The troops and their families were so friendly and welcoming and a lot of them had been really looking forward to the performances. I would love to go back now that my album is complete and really do it up. That would be awesome.

Me: Weren't you in a movie with James Marsden? Is he Canadian? Are you two friends? What did you think of his role as Cyclops?

Michael: We actually worked together on a short-lived Canadian sitcom. It was so bad that you can hardly find any information about it on the internet. I heard it was a HUGE hit in Japan, though I never met anyone there who had ever heard of it. Haha! I think Jimmy is a really nice guy and a great actor, and incidentally, not Canadian. I loved the first two X-Men movies… but don’t get me started with the third one.

Me: Let's talk about your new CD, Michael. What can you tell the readers about it, and is it all covers or some originals? It is getting some good reviews. I looked for it on iTunes but there's another Michael Hughes there. Will you be getting it up on the US version of iTunes anytime soon?

Michael: The album is a collection of contemporary and classic tunes from the pop, jazz, R&B catalogues that have been reinvented with some really amazing arrangements. There is one original song that was written for me by my producers called "Until Dawn". The album was produced by Alan Poaps and Shawn Daudlin of Apmar Music. Mixed by Juno Award (The Canadian version of the “Grammy”) winning engineer Denis Tougas and mastered at Sterling Sound by Tom Coyne (Britney Spears, Beyonce, NSYNC). It is going to be up on iTunes very soon, I’ve been told within the month. So check back soon! And tell that “other” Michael Hughes that I’m coming for him. Haha!

Me: What's the name of it, by the way? You seem to have a very large band playing with you.

Michael: The album is self-titled. And the band is pretty big. We were able to enlist some of the best musicians in the country to play on the album. I think all in all we used twelve musicians and over fourteen different instruments including horns and strings.

Me: Are you planning on touring behind the CD, coming down to the States?

Michael: I would love to tour with the CD. And if everything continues according to plan then there will most definitely be a couple of U.S. dates in the future.

Me: You went to school to study music, didn't you? Where did you go, and did you learn a lot there?

Michael: I studied Classical Voice for seven years at Cardinal Carter Academy for the Arts. We sang everyday but we also had to study music history, music theory, ear training and anatomy.After graduation I attended what is known as the most prestigious Music Theatre Performance program in the country, at Sheridan College Institute. There I was able to take all that I had learned in my classical studies and apply it to all sorts of musical genres such as jazz, pop, and of coarse Music Theatre. I am so thankful for my wonderful education that I received; it really has made all the difference.

Me: Do you play any instruments or just sing?

Michael: My mother is going to LOVE this question! I took piano lessons off and on for close to twelve years, and one of my biggest regrets is that I never took it seriously enough. Playing did not come naturally to me as a kid, and that was very frustrating. Though, as I began understanding theory more, it became much easier for me. Now I can play well enough to teach myself new music. Also, I have tried and failed at playing the violin and guitar. I blame it all on my small hands.

Me: Who are your idols, and if you could do a duet with anybody of your choice, who would it be?

Michael: I have a lot of music idols. Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Dean Martin. In a way these guys were like my first singing teachers. I love Chet Baker. Whether he was singing or playing there was always this beautiful underlying sadness to everything he did. I also really admire Canadians, Rufus Wainwright and Michael Buble. But if I could do a duet with anyone of my choice, I would have to say it would be with a Canadian singer of the female persuasion. But there are too many good ones to have to choose just one!

Me: So, are you dating anybody right now? I bet you get a lot of girls falling for you with your looks and talent?

Michael: Oh geez. I have been travelling so much, and so involved with the music the past few years, there has not been much time for dating. But I have definitely been getting more attention from the ladies then I am used to. It is embarrassing but not unwelcome! Haha!

Me: Finally, did you have fun with this? DO you have anything to plug, what is your website and when are you going to interview me for your blog? LOL.

Michael: Check out my website at www.mickehughes.com. From there you can access my music, BLOG, Myspace and Facebook accounts and read even MORE about me!! I had a lot of fun with this interview, thank you for having me! And you can be on my blog any old time you want, Jason!! Just say the word.

Me: All the best, my friend, and continued good luck with your music

PHINALLY

Thanks, Michael, for a great interview. And I never heard of this drinking around the world business at Epcot. ; ) Thanks also to Jimmy Fallon and Wikipedia. The Phile will be back with a great singer, songwriter and lead in one of my favorite bands, The Figgs. Mike Gent will be here. Also, there'll be a reminder to send a letter and some stuff to some of our troops over sees with the Phile's adopt a soldier program. So, as always, spread the word, not the turd.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Hello, welcome to the Phile, sponsor of generationrescue.org and TACAnow.org. It's another another Friday, or as I like to call it... Phriday. So, how are you? Thanks for coming.

Edward Whitaker, the former chairman of AT&T, was appointed the new chairman of General Motors. I’m not sure about his business plan – he’s giving away free cars on nights and weekends. In an interview the new chairman actually said, "I don't know anything about cars.” I respect that. He’s keeping up the GM tradition. Kim Jong-il said that – if provoked – North Korea would not hesitate to use it’s nuclear weapons in a “merciless offensive.” I just hope no one is stupid enough to provoke that fat, little weirdo. Hey, do you guys like science news? Scientists have created a mathematical formula that can be used as a “cosmic pregnancy test” to predict the birth of new stars in the galaxy. The only problem is that it's really hard to get the universe to pee on a stick. Cops in France are searching for a thief who stole a notebook full of Picasso’s sketches. The thief should be easy to find... he has just one eye and his foot is on his forehead. If you have an old TV, today it won't work unless you digitalize it. You've got to get a converter thing, and a lot of people are confused about this. For example, earlier today, John McCain was confused. He wanted to know, after the conversion, will his tv dinners still work? So, did you ever see those inspiration pictures with the picture of a beach or something and some very positive words. You'll know what I mean in a sec. Anyway, here on the Phile, occassionally I will show you one of those inspiration/advice pictures. And I have one today. It's something I am gonna call Phile Advice. Print it and stick it up in your office.

See? You get the picture. Alright, I have a fun blog for you today with today's guest, a very talented singer named Taylour Chanel. But first...

From the new home office in Port Jefferson, NY, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Ways General Motors Can Improve Its Image

10. Make cars lighter so they're easier to push when they break down.9. Replace windshield wiper fluid with delicious Gatorade.8. Change its name to Toyota.7. Create new V8 engine that actually runs on V8. 6. Instead of Oldsmobiles, build Batmobiles!5. Start making cars that exhaust only the rich and bold flavors of McCafe.4. Graciously accept demotion to "Colonel Motors".3. Run over Bernie Madoff with a Hummer.2. Get a 10pm time slot.And the number one way General Motors can improve its image...1. Land a Cadillac in the Hudson.

Kenny Rankin: Peaceful indeed.

Phact 1: The risk of having an auto accident is about four times higher for drivers using cell phones (whether handheld or hands-free).Phact 2: The U.S. has the highest dog population in the world. France has the second highest.Phact 3: In a typical restaurant, customers get 27 cents worth of food for each dollar they spend.Phact 4: In casinos, $50 bills are known as "frogs" and are considered by many to be bad luck.Phact 5: During the ice age, there were six-foot tall "mammoth penguins."

1963Civil rights lawyer Medgar Evers is shot dead in the driveway of his home in Philadelphia, Mississippi. The assassin, a Klansman named Byron De La Beckwith, dodges prison when two all-white juries return hung verdicts, but is finally convicted of the crime in 1994.1978David Berkowitz is sentenced to 365 consecutive years in prison without the possibility of parole. Berkowitz killed six New Yorkers between 1976 and 1977, known collectively as the Son of Sam murders.1991After 500 years of silence, Mount Pinatubo erupts, making an estimated 100,000 homeless and killing 300. Two U.S. military bases, Clark Air Force Base and Subic Bay Naval Base, are abandoned. The blast is ten times larger than the eruption of Mount St. Helens in 1980.1994Nicole Brown Simpson and her male friend Ronald Goldman are savagely murdered in front of Simpson's condominium complex in Brentwood, California. The most plausible suspect turns out to be Nicole's estranged husband O.J., who is arrested for the crime a month later.

2009Welcome to the world, Aiden.

Today's guest is a talented singer is the lead singer of the band Trading Voices. Remember I interviewed Dylan Fant from Trading Voices? Well, here's the other half. Please welcome to the Phile... Taylour Chanel.

Me: Hello, Taylour, welcome to the Phile. How are you and how is Dylan?

Taylour: Hello there. :] I am well... and Dylan is also well as far as I know. Ha.

Me: How is the Trading Voices CD coming along? Did you guys have a good new year?

Taylour: The CD is... well... coming along. Haha! We really don't have much left to do, it's just a matter of our schedules lining up so that I can get out there and devote some long hours to tie up the loose ends. Honestly, My new years was awful!! I did meet a small chihuahua named Dog Boy though... I think that about the highlight of it. It howls/sings with you I you sing loud enough. Maybe I should start a band with Dog Boy...

Me: Did you know there was a Taylor Chanel porn star? That's not why you name is spelt differently, is it?

Taylour: OH MY GEE WILLIKERS. Ha. Nooooo. My name is just spelt with a 'u' And my middle name is Chanel. So, it just works out. Normally if someone says, "TAYLOUR CHANEL" I totally think I'm in some kind of trouble. So I made it more common that people would call me by both my first and middle name so I wouldn't feel so antsy every time someone would say it. :]

Me: Actually, is your real name Woodruff, or Chanel? I am confused.

Taylour: Refer to above answer... however... yes. My last name is indeed Woodruff. Taylour Chanel Woodruff. Has a little ring to it huh. Try it out. Let it roll off of the tongue. Tayy yylouurrr Chanellll Wooooodruffff. Tasty.

Me: So, you are only 18, and did more in your 18 years then I did when I was that young. You worked at H&M, and were in a number of bands. How old were you when you started working?

Taylour: Well, I am still currently employed at H&M... and I began working literally three weeks after I turned 16. I was dead set on being able to provide for myself, and have the money to go to shows and what not. I know my Mom got really tired of me asking for show money because I realized that I loved that scene and that atmosphere... that's just where I knew I felt the most comfortable. I spent more time in venues than in my own house. So, for a good year my hard earned Hot Topic dollars, (first job) went mostly towards that. haha.

Me: Dylan said he discovered you on Myspace. What did you think when you first met him?

Taylour: Well, when I got the actual message, I was convinced it was a scam. I mean, a legitimate studio asking me to come in and fully record one of my shitty acoustic jams for free... fully produced and all. But, once I got a feel for it, I came out there, and the minute I met Dylan I knew that we'd somehow be working together for quite some time. We just click. It's one of those pairings where one person picks up for what the other one lacks. He's a great guy, and it's an absolute joy to be working with him.

Me: Let me ask you about the band I Am The Enemy. You were working an album, but Dylan said the band broke up. What happened? Is the band still going but without you?

Taylour: Yes, we were indeed working on an album... I Am The Enemy was my first real project where I was able to hone my abilities as a front-woman, and really connect with the crowd on a different, more energetic level. I think I became automatically attached to that band because of that. I loved the rush that came with that style of music, and I think maybe we all took it a little TOO seriously. There were a lot of internal conflicts with personalities, and ultimately we let our friendships come first instead of the business aspect of it. Which is where our ultimate downfall was. As much as I'd love to see Enemy continue... I wouldn't be able to bring myself to let someone else sing my lyrics, and my melodies. So, no, they are not continuing on. Hopefully however, me and two of the old members will be starting something somewhat similar for the kids who are really wanting Enemy to come together again.

Me: Are you still living in Washington, Taylour?

Taylour: Yes of course! Washington has my heart.

Me: I saw pictures of you in Europe on your Myspace site. Was that a senior trip or were you on tour?

Taylour: Ha, I wish I was on tour. It was a "senior trip" I guess.

Me: Where in Europe did you go, and was it fun?

Taylour: I went to England, France, and Italy. It was an absolute blast. I really would love to move to Florence one day... the trip really o pened my eyes to some other options I have as a young adult with the world at my fingertips. I guess I just need to reach out and grab it.

Me: I asked Dylan if you two were dating and he said no. Are you seeing someone or is the band taking up a lot of your time?

Taylour: HA. Me and Dylan dating. That makes me giggle. Haha, and yes I am seeing someone. I don't know quite how I hooked him, but I totally caught one finally. Haha.

Me: Was Number the Stars your first band, Taylour?

Taylour: First full band? Yes. First "band"- no. My first actual project that played shows was called DandyLions. Hahaha.

Me: Taylour, what bands are you into? Any good bands I should watch out for?

Taylour: Oooooo. I have some pretty deep Seattle pride, so I'll give you some of those. I love Minus the Bear, the Planet of Ice record was incredible. The mix of that record baffles me to this day, it's almost flawless. I also am really into Fleet Foxes. Their self-titled has a really organic sound to it... which I really appreciate, and the melodies are awesome. I could listen to that album when I'm laying my head down at night... or on a sunny day driving down Ruston. It's just a really solid album.

Me: Dylan said you wrote a song called "Warning Norway". What is that song about?

Taylour: Ha. I read this question aloud to my boyfriend and we both laughed a little. I haven't really been limiting myself on how long my answers are... but this one is going to be lengthy. Get prepared. So, there was a boy whom I'd known for quite some time...and eventually a romance flourished and I was absolutely enthralled with him. Then, out of absolutely nowhere, he, like most teenage boys, told me I wasn't right for a number of reasons...and that was that. Not only the end of a blossoming relationship, but a long term friendship as well. Well, I went into ICU a few weeks later for some health problems regarding strep throat, (crazy huh) and I came back to a text from my best friend saying that said boy was going on dates with another girl from my school named Jessy. I asked him to meet for coffee to talk, he double booked himself and out of his car pops Jessy as well as himself. SO, I literally walked home and wrote "Warning Norway" in it's entirety right then and there. He moved to Norway for a year a month later. He's since returned and heard the song... ha. I sure showed him.

Me: Taylour, tell Dylan I said hello, and I wish you all the luck. Is there anything else you would like to tell the readers of the Phile?

Taylour: I'll be sure to do that..I'll be seeing him this week. :D I'd like to tell the readers of the Phile that I've been writing this entire interview with a full set of painters tape facial hair. They should all try it. Photos of said painters tape facial hair will be up soon. Haha.

PHINALLY

I have no idea what that means. Thanks to Taylour for a great interview, and Wikipedia as well. The Phile will be back on Monday with Canadian singer Michael Hughes. And in August it's Alumni Month with some pholks coming back to the Phile for a second interview. So, until then, spread the word, not the turd.