Presenting the Caribou Smoker Royale!

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Blog Guy, you’ve been very good about helping us find solutions to those tough household chores in the past, and I have some more questions.

Gosh, all I ever really do is point you in the direction of expensive Williams-Sonoma gadgets.

I like to serve shrimp in the summer, but I find they lack color. People want shrimp that are a nice, healthy pink.

That’s an easy one. Get yourself the Williams-Sonoma Shellmaster 3000, to paint a healthy glow onto shrimp, lobsters, oysters, all kinds of shellfish, as you can see on the right. It comes with a gallon of pink paint, just $399.95.

Is that paint safe to eat?

I guess so, it’s only lead.

My other problem is caribou. I never can seem to smoke it properly.

You’ll want the Williams-Sonoma Caraboutique Royale, for perfect smoking every time. Just $13,999,999.95.

Huh? It only smokes caribou and it costs $14 million?

Yeah, it comes with an actual royal couple. That’s what makes it a Royale.

Yikes! After news like that, I need a drink. I wish I could make frozen margaritas.

Make perfect ones every time, with Williams-Sonoma’s Premium Margaritaville Trio Frozen Concoction Maker, only $499.95.

Okay, fun is fun, Blog Guy. I played along with the Cariboutique, but $499.95 for a drink mixer is a little hard to believe, don’t you think?

Top: Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, help carry a caribou skin to a tent to be smoked while visiting Blatchford Lake, Northwest Territories in Canada July 5, 2011. REUTERS/Arthur Edwards/pool

Right: A worker paints a plastic shrimp model to be used as a decoration on an iPhone case at Suetake Sample, a plastic food model maker, in Yokohama, near Tokyo, July 29, 2011. REUTERS/Kim Kyung-Hoon