Saturday, January 16, 2010

Minutes after being sworn in Saturday as the state's 71st governor, Bob McDonnell assured Virginians that an economic revival lies ahead.

"I've listened to people tell me they fear that America may no longer be the land of opportunity it has always been, and that Virginia's history in playing a leading role in the life of our nation may be just that - history. They are wrong," McDonnell said, enunciating each word for emphasis.

The new governor's address blended allusions to the state's past as the "Cradle of Democracy" and the home of civil rights advances with a sobering but optimistic assessment of its prospects, while laying out a vision for the commonwealth's next chapter.

He promised better roads, more energy resources, an improved educational system, and perhaps most importantly, a climate that will foster economic growth.

"Where opportunity is absent, we must create it," McDonnell told an estimated crowd of 7,000. "Where opportunity is limited, we must expand it. Where opportunity is unequal, we must make it open to everyone."

It was a heady day for euphoric Republicans, who roared approval after many of the stanzas in McDonnell's speech.

Later, as the inaugural ceremony came to a close Saturday afternoon, McDonnell scooped first lady Maureen McDonnell into his arms and carried her across the threshold of the governor's mansion, where the family will live for the next four years.

For Republicans, that literal gesture was also a symbolic one that crystallized their optimism.

It signaled the end of eight years of Democratic rule and, they hope, a sign that McDonnell's November election is the start of a national resurgence for a sometimes fractious GOP.

While Republicans, including McDonnell, had much to celebrate Saturday, the unabashedly conservative new governor eschewed fiery partisan rhetoric in his inaugural speech.

Instead, he hewed to the economic growth theme that was a central component of his campaign pitch.

"The creation of new job opportunities for all our citizens is the obligation of our time, so all Virginians who seek a good job can find meaningful work and the dignity that comes with it," he said.

His initial steps in that direction were executive orders signed moments after he officially become governor.

The first establishes a job creation task force and installs as its leader Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling, who was sworn in alongside McDonnell and Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli on Saturday.

The second created a commission charged with finding ways to reduce government redundancy and downsize the state bureaucracy.

The most pressing task confronting McDonnell is steering the state out of a dismal economic downturn that has left the state with a $4.2 billion shortfall that must be plugged to balance the budget. The new governor wants the budget work to be completed within the 60-day General Assembly session and without new taxes.

Democratic lawmakers offered praise of McDonnell's tone Saturday. That may not be true of their reaction to the proposal he is to make in a speech Monday evening.

"His remarks here today were light and were not laden with policy," said House Minority Leader Ward Armstrong, D-Henry. "I am pleased that he led with economic development. My region of the state has been so hard hit. But all of Virginia is hurting."

One early flash point with the opposing party is the pending battle over McDonnell's pick for commerce and labor secretary, Robert Sledd.

Sledd's service on three corporate boards has raised conflict of interest concerns among some lawmakers.

Sen. Janet Howell, D-Fairfax, said Saturday that she has the votes to block Sledd's confirmation if he doesn't give up those board seats.

For the day, however, future skirmishes were a distant concern for McDonnell backers excited to see their man take office.

His victory in November, coupled with dominating wins by Bolling and Cuccinelli, consolidated Republican political power in Virginia and gives McDonnell a mandate to push his agenda.

"I think the campaign itself began to bring the party elements together," former U.S. Sen. John Warner, a Republican, said after the inauguration.

If McDonnell follows those principles, Warner said, "he'll be a good, strong governor."

McDonnell began the day with a prayer breakfast.

"As I embark on this journey I just want to say... I do pray for the wisdom of Solomon," he said. "Last year, I prayed for votes and money. This year it's wisdom and money," he continued to laughter.

One recognizable face at the prayer breakfast was religious broadcaster Pat Robertson.

The Virginia Beach televangelist drew rebukes last week when he said that the island nation of Haiti was cursed after it was struck by a massive earthquake.

Less controversial local faith leaders participated in the afternoon inauguration: Rabbi Israel Zoberman of Congregation Beth Chaverim gave a scripture reading, and Bishop B. Courtney McBath of Calvary Revival Church delivered the benediction.

With the recent increase in burglaries in Pocomoke, (it's up 25% if you didn't know) here's some tips.

1.Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning yourcarpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working inyour yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back windowto make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... and taste meansthere are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out alwaysmake me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And Imight leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takesyou to remove it.

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create carand foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a deadgiveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let youralarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. Thatmakes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And thewindows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom-andyour jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget tolock your door-understandable. But understand this: I don't take a dayoff because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directionssomewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always checkdresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe whereyou keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it withme.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out oftown, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates theflickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com.)

8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guyand carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. Ifyour neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and waitto hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back towhat he was doing. It's human nature.

4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancyalarm system and leave your house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you'rehome, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive orwalk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds,just to pick my targets.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a wayto let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hitthe jackpot and walk right in.

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, andKentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.com;and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University ofMissouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglarson the Job.

Protection for you and your home

If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.

Wasp Spray

A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.

The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection... Thought this was interesting and might be of use.

Wasp And Hornet Spray

On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life.

Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School. For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed.

Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."

Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says, "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades.It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray.

"That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out."

Maybe even save a life.Please share this with all the people in your life.

If you thought that the people who set up a room full of dominos tohave them knocked over later was amazing, you haven't seen anythingyet. There are no computer graphics or digital tricks in theseimages.

Everything that you see happened in real time exactly as you see it.The recording required 606 takes and in the first 605 takes therealways was something, usually of minor importance, that didn't work.It was necessary for the recording team to install the set-up timeaftertime and it took several weeks working day and night to achievethis effect... The recording cost 6 million dollars and it took 3months to finish, including the engineering design of the sequence.The duration of the video is only 2 minutes, but every time that Hondashows the commercial on British television, they make enough money tosupport any of us for the rest of our lives. However, this commercialhas turned out to be the most displayed in the history of theInternet. Honda execs think that it will pay for itself simplybecause of the free showings. When Honda senior execs viewed it, theyimmediately approved it without hesitation -- including costs.Everything you see in the sequence (besides the walls, floor, ramp,and untouched Honda Accord) is part of two automobiles. The voice isthat of Garrison Keillor. The commercial was so well received byHonda execs when they saw it, that their first comment was how amazingthe computer graphics were. They almost fell out of their chairs whentold that the recording was real without any graphics manipulation.By the way, about the windshield wipers in the new Honda Accords, theyare sensitive to water and designed to start working as soon as theyget wet.

ROGERSVILLE — A Hawkins County man accused of breaking into his girlfriend’s former house and setting the shower curtain on fire was charged Tuesday with aggravated burglary and arson.

According to reports, the girlfriend of Clarence Jackson, 35, 176 Bass Lane, Rogersville, was recently evicted from a residence at 166 E. Madeline Lane.

The new occupant of the residence was in the process of moving but hadn’t moved anything into the house Tuesday when she received a call from a witness informing her that the house had just been broken into.

When the new occupant arrived, she found that a French door at the rear of the house had been broken with a rock, and a shower curtain in the bathroom had been set on fire.

Although the shower curtain burned up, the fire extinguished itself before spreading.

The witness reportedly recognized Jackson as the person who had arrived at the residence.

The witness told police that Jackson pulled his vehicle to the rear of the house, broke out the glass to the rear door with a rock, and entered the house.

The witness said Jackson left a short time after entering the residence.

Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office Detective Jeff Greer later contacted Jackson at his home and brought him to the Surgoinsville Police Department for questioning.

Jackson allegedly admitted to going to the house but denied breaking in.

Damage to the residence was estimated at $300.

Jackson remained lodged in the Hawkins County Jail Wednesday without bond.

He is scheduled for arraignment Sept. 28 in Hawkins County Sessions Court.

Friday, January 15, 2010

I voted Democrat becauseI love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want.I've decided to marry my horse.

I voted Democrat becauseI believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas areobscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gasat 15% isn't.

I voted Democrat becauseI believe the government will do a better job ofspending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat becauseFreedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat becauseWhen we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop whatthey are doing because they now think we are good people.

I voted Democrat becauseI'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my localpolice are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat becauseI believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday cantell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years ifI don't start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat becauseI'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so longas we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted Democrat becauseI think illegal aliens have a right to free health care,education, and Social Security benefits.

I voted Democrat becauseI believe that business should not be allowed to make profits forthemselves. They need to break even and give the rest away tothe government for redistribution as the democrats see fit.

I voted Democrat becauseI believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every fewdays to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendaspast the voters.

I voted Democrat becauseMy head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely I'll ever have another point of view.

Here's an update on the Eastern Shore Wedding Expo being held at the Eastern Shore Communtiy College in Melfa Va.. It's open to the public and the doors open at 12:00 to 3:00 on Jan. 31, 2010. There will be doors prizes during the expo and a wedding fashion show starting at 2:00. Here is a list of the vendors you can visit while you are there.
Accomodations:

City of Norfolk Public Art Program Dedicates Art Project at Virginia Zoo

A new elephant is moving into the Virginia Zoo, and she’s bringing thousands of butterflies with him! The iconic beast will greet visitors at the front plaza and amaze them with her sheer size and her swarm of butterflies.

This African elephant isn’t a living, breathing creature. She is an incredible piece of art. The life-size elephant sculpture is the latest addition to the City of Norfolk’s Public Art Program. Created by artist Mathew Gray Palmer of Friday Harbor, Washington, the elephant is comprised of over 10,000 thousand delicate, plasma cut aluminum butterflies.

“The Virginia Zoo is thrilled to be selected as a recipient for the public art program,” notes executive director, Greg Bockheim. “Visitors will be mesmerized by the elephant’s size, its powerful tusks and intense eyes. We’re proud to be home to this remarkable piece of art and to be part of the City’s important initiative to make art accessible to the community.”

The artist, who was selected by a panel of judges, visited the Zoo before beginning his project and was impressed by the three African elephants on exhibit as well as the Zoo’s lush gardens, including the butterfly garden. His creation playfully illustrates our interconnection with each other, from the largest terrestrial mammals to the most delicate wind-bound insects. The name of the statue is “All Things Within All Things.”

At times I like Rush Limbaugh. I don't always agree with his nonsense but you have to admit he can, at times, get your blood boiling and cause you to think or laugh at him. Doesn't matter. The comments Rush has made, along with others that have made similar statements, could have been saved for another time. Craig Ferguson happens to be my favorite show and here is what he had to say about the situation in Haiti and Limbaugh's comment.

written by: Rachael Sklar

How can you joke about Haiti? You can’t — it’s far too sad and awful, and the mere mention of it puts everything else — Conan vs. Jay, Game Change — in perspective as tiny and unimportant. So I have noticed its absence from the late-night shows this past week, though a urging to donation from these people to their audience of millions would have been nice. (Update: Conan O’Brien mentioned the crisis in Haiti last night during the show, and plugged StillerStrong, Ben Stiller’s charity that is redirecting all donations to Haiti.)

Craig Ferguson did more than just mention it last night — he made it the cornerstone of his monologue, and put the late-night wars in perspective by talking about Haiti, urging his audience to donate — and putting Rush Limbaugh in his place while he was at it.I’m looking at all this trouble in late-night, with Jay over there and Conan over there, and which middle-aged white guys is gonna get X million dollars at what point and I’m thinking to myself….I am getting embarrassed… I’m starting to feel like an AIG executive. So I’m not going to talk about that so much tonight. There’s an actual real news story going on.

Ferguson called the situation in Haiti “horrifying” and “one of the worst natural disasters apparently in recorded history,” and then encouraged his audience to donate: “Give a dollar -whatever you can give.”

But just because you’re getting serious about addressing a terrible catastrophe doesn’t mean you can’t find the comedic gold. Comedy is, let’s recall, often about taking down people who deserve it — and last night, Ferguson was trained on Rush Limbaugh.

Ferguson cited Limbaugh’s appalling comments about Haiti, quoting Rush as saying “We already donated to Haiti – it’s called U.S. income tax. The Obama administration is using this to burnish their credibility with the black community in this country – it’s made to order for them.” Said Ferguson: “That’s a dumb thing to say. A dumb, mean thing to say.” But Ferguson, ever the chipper Scotsman, had a solution:

Here’s a way to take the sting off of that, Rush: A million dollars of your money to the Red Cross, and we’ll say no more of that.

Damn good advice (and it would work for Leno and Tiger Woods, too).

Then he urged donations, again, posting Red Cross information and the text donation info (text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10): “Let’s do that, and let’s not worry about what middle-aged white guy in a tie is going to be telling jokes to a camera at what time of night, ’cause frankly who gives a [bleep].” Craig Ferguson FTW.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Eastern Shore Veterinarians and the Eastern Shore Health District, in cooperation with the Accomack and Northampton County Sheriffs Department is hosting the 2010 Rabies and H1N1 Vaccination Clinic. The H1N1 shots are free and the rabies vaccinations will cost only $5.

Virginia Health Laws require all dogs and cats over four months of age to be immunized against rabies. Accomack and Northampton County laws require that your dog be licensed every year. In Northampton County, cats must also be licensed yearly.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Law enforcement officials have been searching since Monday for a 55 year old man by the name of John Benjamin Thornton III. He was reported missing around noon on Monday by his girlfriend. According to Accomack County Sheriff Larry Giddens, Thornton's vehicle remained at the house and he did leave a note but did not disclose his whereabouts.

On Monday afternoon and Tuesday sheriff's deputies along with Flatland Search and Rescue team conducted a search of the woods near Thornton's house which is located near Tyson's Foods on U.S. Route 13. On Tuesday a plane from the Virginia Marine Resources Comission helped in the search.

Thornton is a white male, 55 years of age. He is 5 feet, 8 inches tall with a fair reddish complexion.

If you have any information contact the Accomack County Sheriff's Office at 757-787-1131 or 757-824-5666.

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

If for some reason you still have your Christmas tree thrown into your backyardwith nothing to do with it here's something that I have found quite enjoyable andwill give you a good look at the birds in winter even if you aren't the avid birdwatcher. This will give the birds in your yard a special treat!

Using the cords or rope find a spot in your yard for securing your tree.Using newspapers underneath, smear peanut butter on pinecones makingsure that the peanut butter goes into alot of the cracks.

Pour birdseed into a basin and roll the pinecones in the seed until they have anice thick coating. The more peanut butter you use the more seed you will need.

Using ribbon or string tie the pinecone tightly at the top and secure it to your old Christmas tree.Within a couple of days you should see birds at your feeder.

To make it more interesting string ribbons of popcorn (unbuttered/unsalted) ordried cranberries around the branches. Birds love this. Try dangling old stalecookies, pretzels, even donuts from the branches.

Birds love these trees so pay close attention to how many different birds youcan attract. Use your imagination with oranges slices or apples.

I use old squished bows from packages for the ribbon. Just take the bow apartcut it length wise and tie to the top of the pinecone. The shinier the color the better!

Not only does the recyled tree provide the birds with "goodies" it also providesthem shelter from the winder storms.

Have fun!

A big huge hug and thankyou to my sister for letting me use her beautiful photo of her cardinal!

Americans are giving Barack Obama a split decision on his first year in office, according to a new national poll.

Forty-eight percent of people questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Tuesday say Obama's presidency has been a failure so far, with 47 percent saying Obama has been a success. The poll's January 12 release comes just 8 days before Obama marks one year in the White House.

(3 June 2009, North Carolina) Greensboro was innundated with four inches of pouring rain in two hours, stranding several cars on flooded roads. Rosanne T., 50, was not deterred. She hopped on her moped and drove to a convenience store where she "possibly had a beer," according to her mother, before deciding to blunder home through the storm. She phoned home to say, "My moped has two rubber wheels, Mom, I'll be fine."

North Carolina does not require a license to own a moped.Ms. T. had acquired hers two years previously after a DUI conviction.

The Highway Patrol had blocked off several roads that were inundated with water, including Rosanne's path home. But she rode right past the officer and the barriers, lost control of her vehicle, and fell into the swollen creek below. The officer retrieved rope from his vehicle and proceeded to haul her from the water.

He then interviewed the woman, probably inquiring about her motivation for speeding through a roadblock during a flash flood. When the officer returned to his patrol car to call for assistance, Rosanne took the opportunity to escape--by jumping back into the creek!

The officer attempted to rescue her again, but alas, it was too late.

The victim's mother speculated that her daughter's motivation for jumping into a flooded creek was to rescue her drowning moped. "She loved that thing."

Another runner-up

(12 April 2008, Florida) Traffic was moving slowly on southbound I-95. Shawn M. had recently left a Pompano Beach bar, and now he was stuck in traffic. As the saying goes, you don't buy beer--you just rent it, and Shawn couldn't wait another moment to relieve himself. "I need to take a leak," he told his friends.

Traffic was deadlocked, so the waterlogged man climbed out, put his hand on the divider, and jumped over the low concrete wall... only to fall 65 feet to his death. "He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn't," said a Fort Lauderdale police spokesman. The car was idling on an overpass above the railroad lines.

His mother shared her attempt thoughts. "Shawn didn't do a whole lot for a living. He got along on his charm, just like his father."

Though his death was tragic, Shawn's downfall proves the old adage: Look before you leak!

2009 Winner (a double-header of stupidity):

Double Darwin!

(26 September 2009, Belgium) The city of Dinant is the backdrop for this rare Double Darwin Award. Two bankrobbers attempting to make a sizeable withdrawal from an ATM died when they overestimated the quantity of dynamite needed for the explosion. The blast demolished the building the bank was housed in. Nobody else was in the building at the time of the attack.

Robber One was rushed to the hospital with severe head trauma; he died shortly after arrival. Investigators initially assumed that his accomplice had managed a getway, but the second bungler's body was excavated from the debris twelve hours later. Would-be Robbers One and Two weren't exactly impoverished--their getaway car was a BMW.

Bonus 2009 winner:

(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean) A Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a helium host of party balloons, paying homage to Lawn Chair Larry's aerial adventure. In 1982, Lawnchair Larry attached 45 weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch, and cut the tether--but instead of drifting above Los Angeles babescape as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the lift of the balloons!

This priest's audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build spiritual rest stops for truckers. But as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours is not a trivial matter even in the comfort of your own lawn chair.

The priest did take numerous precautions, including wearing a survival suit, flying a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and GPS. However, the late A.A. made a fatal mistake.

He did not know how to use the GPS.

The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he finally phoned for help--but rescuers were unable to determine his location since he could not use his GPS. He struggled with the unit as the charge on the cellphone dwindled and died.

Instead of a GPS, the Priest let God be his guide.

Over the next few weeks, bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches, indicating that God had guided him straight to heaven. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he had indeed paid a visit to his boss.

The kicker? It's a Double Darwin. Catholic priests take vows of celibacy. Since priests voluntarily remove themselves from the genepool, the entire group earns a mass Darwin Award. Adelir Antonio wins twice!

--Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. Albert Camus

This is the type of thing we will see all the time if the government gains control of our health care.

Arguments are under way today in the First District Court of Appeals in Tallahassee, Fla., in the case of Samantha Burton, who was confined to her bed by a judge earlier this year because she was at risk for a miscarriage.

Burton was in her 25th week of pregnancy in March 2009 when she started showing signs of miscarrying. Her doctor advised her to go on bed rest, possibly for as long as 15 weeks, but she told him that she had two toddlers to care for and a job to keep. She planned on getting a second opinion, but the doctor alerted the state, which then asked the Circuit Court of Leon County to step in.

She was ordered to stay in bed at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital and to undergo “any and all medical treatments” her doctor, acting in the interests of the fetus, decided were necessary. Burton asked to switch hospitals and the request was denied by the court, which said “such a change is not in the child’s best interest at this time.” After three days of hospitalization, she had to undergo an emergency C-section and the fetus was found dead.

Burton’s pro bono attorney, David H. Abrams, with a lot of help from the American Civil Liberties Union took the case to a higher court, charging that a dangerous precedent had been set. In a brief filed in the case, A.C.L.U. lawyers argue that the original decision unlawfully expanded the court’s right “to order medical treatment for a child over a parent’s” objections and applied it to an unborn fetus. “To ignore this fundamental constitutional distinction between the state interest in protecting fetal life and its interest in the protecting the lives and health of people is to risk virtually unfettered intrusion into the lives of pregnant women.”

The lower court based its decision on the fact that medical intervention is justified in “extraordinary” circumstances. The A.C.L.U. responded that the circumstances Burton found herself in were very ordinary. “It is hard to imagine anything more commonplace than the inability of a mother of two to remain on continuous bed rest,” the brief says, “or the well-documented difficulty in quitting smoking,” which Burton was also ordered to do.

Where then, to draw the line? If a court can confine a pregnant woman to a hospital because she refuses (or is unable) to stay in bed and quit smoking, what about the women who doesn’t eat healthfully? Or who drives above the speed limit? Dahlia Ward, state strategist for the A.C.L.U.’s Reproductive Freedom Project, wrote the following in the Daily Kos a few months ago, when the case was first reported:

Don’t get me wrong — of course I want pregnant women to follow their doctor’s advice. But I do not think that pregnant women should be confined against their will if they are unwilling or unable to do so. If we allow the government to confine a pregnant woman for not following orders to remain in bed, what’s next? Will we forcibly hospitalize pregnant women for having a glass of wine with dinner? Or eating too much fast food? What if they don’t take their prenatal vitamins? Or miss their doctor’s appointments? What if a pregnant woman refuses a Cesarean section? While we each may have strong opinions about such behaviors, our government cannot interfere in a woman’s personal private medical decisions. Allowing the government to make medical decisions for pregnant women means that literally every decision and every activity a pregnant woman engages in could be regulated by the state. And certainly the possibility of state-mandated hospitalization for those who have engaged in “unhealthy behaviors” would deter some women from seeking any prenatal care for fear of being punished. In that situation, everybody loses.

An Emergency Medical Technician-Basic course will be offered at the Greenbackville Volunteer Fire Department starting on January 24th. Class will meet on Sundays and Tuesdays and will continue through June 2010.

The EMT-B program introduces students to the basics of prehospital emergency care and includes over 120 hours of training in a variety of emergency medical situations. Students who successfully complete the course will be eligible to sit for the Virginia EMT-B State Exam offered in June. To be eligible for the course, applicants must be 16 years of age as of the first day of class, be proficient with the English language, have no felony or other serious criminal convictions, and possess a Healthcare Provider-level CPR card.

For applicants needing CPR certification, a separate class will be offered prior to the first day of class. The cost for the entire course is $25.00 and registration is limited to 30 students. The deadline for registration is January 10th.

For more information, contact Kevin Holloway, Course Coordinator, at (757) 824-5207 or by e-mail at kevinholloway@verizon.net

After being without a fire station for almost four years, the Bloxom Volunteer Fire Company has begun to build the replacement building. The new building was awarded to local contractors Crutchley Enterprises according to Fire Chief James T. Bagwell.

The Bloxom Fire Company purchased the adjoining lot with the original land and bull dosed existing buildings. It is on this now larger lot that the company will build the new 12,000 square foot complex. Currently, the site work is being done and preparing the place the building. Bagwell hopes next week concrete will be laid for the foundation.

The plans for the new building include community meeting rooms and a larger bay area for rescue and fire vehicles. Where the old Bloxom Station was built rectangular, the new building will more resemble the Parksley Fire Station. Bagwell says they are hoping to have the new building completed by August of this year.

The Bloxom Volunteer Fire Company Station was destroyed in a fire in 2006. Although originally believed to be a local arson that was terrorizing the Eastern Shore, investigations proved that to be false. Further investigation could not conclusively prove what caused the fire that ultimately claimed the historical station building.

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Virginia Lottery is pulling its Daily Draw and twice-a-week Win For Life drawings from broadcasting on television to the web in order to save money. Mega Millions drawings will remain on television.

Monday, Jan. 11 will begin the first week of the change.

And while it allows the Virginia Lottery from having to pay to broadcast on tv, they say it is also a recognition that many receive their lottery results online or on a mobile device.

Those interested can visit the lottery's website at www.valottery.com , fan them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, and as always, call the lottery hotline.

OLYMPIA, Wash. -Court papers allege that an Olympia woman, angry that her husband left her, tampered with his power tools so that he received a powerful electric shock. Carolyn Paulsen-Riat was booked Friday into the Thurston County Jail for investigation of third-degree assault, domestic violence, and second-degree malicious mischief.

A judge released the 33-year-old woman on her own recognizance.

The Olympian newspaper reported that court documents said that on Jan. 1, the man was using a 220-volt table saw when he received the shock, knocking him to the ground.

Thurston County sheriff's deputies said the man did not need to go to a hospital.

In the documents, deputies said the woman told them she had reversed the wires on his power tools because she was angry he was leaving.

No lawmakers have been punished under sweeping ethics rules passed by Congress three years ago, USA Today reported.

The rules were approved in early 2007, shortly after former lobbyist Jack Abramoff pleaded guilty to giving gifts to elected officials in exchange for political favors. Lawmakers were barred from receiving meals or gifts from lobbyists and their clients.

At the time, incoming Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi promised to "drain the swamp."

The most serious rebuke since the rules went into effect was a letter of "qualified admonition" to Democratic Illinois Sen. Roland Burris, according to the newspaper. An ethics panel found Burris misled Congress and inappropriately offered to raise campaign funds while seeking to be appointed to the seat formerly held by Barack Obama.

"Three years later, it's the same old, same old," Melanie Sloan of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington told USA Today.

A Pelosi spokesman defended the rules, pointing out that the independent Office of Congressional Ethics, formed in 2008, is currently examining dozens of cases for possible review by the House ethics committee.

The Legislature on Monday approved a bill that would make the state the 14th to allow chronically ill patients access to marijuana for medical reasons.

Democratic Gov. Jon Corzine supports the legislation and could sign it before leaving office next week, making it law.

The bill allows patients with ailments such as cancer, AIDS and multiple sclerosis to buy up to 2 ounces of marijuana a month at state-monitored dispensaries.

Assemblyman Reed Gusciora, a Princeton Democrat, was a co-sponsor of the bill and pushed for it for years. He said medical marijuana can alleviate suffering and there's no evidence it increases overall drug use.

"I don't think we should make criminals out of our very sick and terminally ill," he said.

Incoming Republican Gov. Chris Christie, a former federal prosecutor, said he supported the concept of the bill but remained concerned that a loophole could lead to abuses.

A compromise bill was worked out after some other lawmakers expressed similar concerns. For example, a provision allowing patients to grow marijuana was removed.

Driving while high would continue to be against the law.

The other states that permit medical use of marijuana are Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington.

New Jersey's legislation authorizes the Department of Health to issue to patients with "debilitating medical conditions" registry ID cards that allow them to use marijuana. Patients with specified diseases such as cancer and glaucoma must also demonstrate severe or chronic pain, nausea, seizures, muscle spasms or wasting syndrome to qualify.

Patients with registry cards would be immune from arrest or prosecution for the medical use of marijuana.

Gusciora said the legislation, titled the Compassionate Use Medical Marijuana Act, would be the nation's strictest such law.

Lawmakers said they wanted to make sure New Jersey didn't duplicate California's liberal marijuana laws, which they said border on decriminalization of the drug.

"We have learned from the mistakes of other states," Senate co-sponsor Nick Scutari, a Democrat from Linden, said after the vote.

The Senate vote was 25-13; the Senate previously approved a less restrictive version. The earlier Assembly vote was 48-14.

Advocates and patients, who had waited for hours for the final vote, cheered the outcome.

Nancy Fedder, a 62-year-old multiple sclerosis sufferer who lives in Hillsborough, gets around in a scooter and said she has used marijuana for years to reduce pain.

"I'm in heaven," she said after the Senate vote. "It means I am no longer a criminal in the state of New Jersey."

Roseanne Scotti, director of Drug Policy Alliance New Jersey, an organization that says it's dedicated to making the state a leader in drug policy reform, thanked lawmakers for voting their consciences.

"We are absolutely thrilled," she said. "This really was a triumph of compassion."

The Pentagon's Joint Nonlethal Weapons Directorate, which is sponsoring the work, declined a request for an interview, but answered written questions. "It is hoped the technology can be made small enough to fit in a small, self-contained round," Dave Law, the chief of the office's technology division, wrote of the research project. "The round would have a power source and therefore would not need wires."

Taser International makes a line of incapacitating weapons that typically work with darts attached to wires, or by placing a weapon contact with a person. Though there is a wireless version of a Taser, called the eXtended Range Electronic Projectile, which works from a shotgun, nanosecond electrical pulses offer the possibility of shrinking the size of the a nonlethal round further, making the weapon more portable than current stun guns.

And perhaps more important, the paralyzing effect of the weapon would last longer than current stun guns, according to the Defense Department. "Initial studies of nanosecond electrical pulses indicate that they not only can affect the nervous system in this manner, but may also be able to provide longer-duration temporary incapacitation than the electrical waveforms in currently available HEMI devices," says a fact sheet about the program.

How long that effect might last is unclear; officials with the Joint Nonlethal Weapons Directorate declined to elaborate. "Temporary skeletal muscle effects have been observed in brine shrimp, rats and swine," said Dr. Bruce Wright, a human effects engineer in the directorate, said in an emailed response.

Nanosecond electrical pulses may have applications for nonlethal weapons, but this rapidly developing area of biological research has also attracted interest because of its potential medical applications, including as a treatment for cancer. Though the Joint Nonlethal Weapons Program Office did not respond to questions about what researchers have been supported by their funding, the Frank Reidy Research Center for Bioelectrics at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia has emerged as the leading player in this field.

The Joint Nonlethal Weapons Programs Directorate has spent just short of two million dollars on the research over the past few years, and is currently reviewing funding for the next year and beyond. Other Defense Department offices, such as of the Office of Naval Research and the Air Force Research Laboratory, have also been involved in the research.

But how soon, if ever, the research will lead to a weapon in unclear; Pentagon officials working on the program declined to speculate on the time line. "This technology is not yet mature enough for human testing," wrote Dr. Wright.

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