Mikhail Prokhorov says he is a patient man, a calm and relaxed man who does not lose his cool. Well, the Russian billionaire’s patience and cool are about to meet the ultimate test:

The Nets.

While Prokhorov, the new Nets owner, may be patient and collected, he also is demanding and knows what he wants — and that’s the playoffs next season and a championship in one-to-five years as the Nets become a “global franchise” and “a dynasty team.”

Those were just some — but by no means all — of the highlights during a lengthy media session in midtown yesterday when Prokhorov also said that Kiki Vandeweghe is out as general manager and Rod Thorn definitely will be back as team president, with only a few contractual formalities holding up the announcement.

You want more? Prokhorov intends to personally try to recruit the top free agents — no names until July 1 as per NBA rules, please. LeBron James? “I never heard of that name,” he quipped.

For his coach, Prokhorov ruled out Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski, stressing he wants someone with NBA experience.

“Coach K, he’s a great coach. But I’m looking for an NBA-experienced coach. Now it’s a big list,” said Prokhorov, who added, “It’s possible for a current assistant to be head coach of the team.”

Turning down Coach K? Well, he turned down the Nets three times. So maybe the Russian who saw his first NBA game on a VHS in the former Soviet Union (you could watch basketball tapes, but show a movie for money and win a trip to the Gulag), was just turning him down in return.

Though the announcement about Vandeweghe was a surprise, Thorn remaining has been evident for some time.

“Regarding Rod Thorn, I want really to keep him on. We’re discussing small formalities for the agreement,” the owner said, claiming the coach and GM will be Thorn’s call.

The roster? Not quite title — or playoff — timber.

Prokhorov wants a legitimate power forward to play next to Brook Lopez and he wants to lengthen the bench. The power forward could come through free agency in the form of Amar’e Stoudemire or Carlos Boozer.

Prokhorov, repeatedly showing a flair for the comedic, said “I will be here all week” when recruitment for free agents begins. He declined to name names, but James certainly is on his list. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

“I plan to meet with all free agents I need,” he said, stressing the Nets’ global image and the “great metropolitan” aura of New York. “If you want good climate, you can play in Miami.”

In Europe owners can spend whatever they want — like the Yankees — to ensure championships, he said. In the NBA, there are salary-cap limitations. But the owner, who said he won’t just throw money around, will give whatever else is necessary to achieve his dreams.

“My goal is to create a dynasty team and I am not in a hurry,” he said, pointing to the 2011 offseason, when there are “more [good] free agents coming. That’s why I’m not ready to overpay in order to kill the strategy.

“They will be the first really global team in the NBA,” Prokhorov said.

“We are going to create and to build a global franchise to sell all around the world. I think I have a competitive advantage compared to other owners.”