Shaun who?

Terrence Jones quits Test cricket

Tearaway pace bowler Terrence Jones has quit test cricket indefinitely. The move has surprised both players and the Australian Cricket Board, neither of whom had heard of the player.

“After a string of injuries and setbacks, I have decided to remove myself from the selection table for the Australian cricket team until I am both physically and mentally sound,” an emotional Jones said.

“Until that time I intend to continue playing in the second eleven for the Bayswater Cricket Club,” he said.

National selector Merv Hughes expressed his surprise at the decision, saying he had “never heard of the bloke.”

“I don’t know who this idiot is, but it is good to see him putting the interests of the Australian cricket team ahead of his own,” said Hughes.

Opener Matthew Hayden also expressed surprise.

“Who?,” he asked when told of the decision.

Fellow quick Brett Lee said he heard that Jones had “taken a bag once or twice,” but had failed to take the next step when taken away from matting.

“I’m really quite shocked,” said Lee. “It seems any two-bit cricketer can get publicity these days.”

Jones said he had been disappointed by the ACB’s response to his decision.

“I have not heard anything from them since I made the announcement. Mind you, I had never heard from them before I quit either. Still, it would have been nice to have some support at this difficult time,” Jones said.

“Despite my setback though I am determined to force my way back into contention for the Test side,” he said.