He doesn’t just want our team to win. “Go–GO DO DEES FER ME NOW GERLS.”

He wants to smear the other team into the ground. “GO KEEL DEM, GERLS. KEEL DEM!”

“NO! I not know why you don’t do dees, gerls. Joo need to put the beet in the bot and go!”

Giovanni is the best.

So what happened was, our soccer team needed new uniforms this year.

Marlboro Man got wind of this awhile back and offered to show his support by sponsoring the uniforms. He believes the children are our future, after all, and that we should teach them well and let them lead the way.

(Sorry. Whitney moment.)

Then he changed his mind and told me he thought Pioneer Woman should sponsor the uniforms, since the girls on the team are, basically, little women.

Of course, I assumed this was just a question of semantics. Marlboro Man and I were basically going to help the team get new uniforms.

I really didn’t think this would translate to anything beyond that.

So one day a couple of weeks ago, Giovanni’s beautiful wife Kimberly, who grew up in our small town and used to come work on the ranch in the summertime, asked me if I could email her the Pioneer Woman logo for the jerseys. I don’t necessarily have an official logo, so I just sent her the text “The Pioneer Woman” in the scrolly font you see at the top of this website.

“Now, you’re not going to put this on the uniforms, right?” I asked Kimberly. I wasn’t looking to tattoo all the girls with the name of my website.

I was just thinking I’d help with the uniforms.

“Yes,” Kim answered. “Giovanni’s really excited!”

“Oh, okay…” I said, picking my toenails and adjusting my faded neon scrunchie. “Well, just put it, like, on the bottom of the sleeve or on the underside of the hem or under the inside tag or something.”

I was just thinking I’d help with the uniforms.

“Groovy,” Kim said. “Thanks!”

This is how they turned out. Evidently, Giovanni was so excited to have a sponsor, he wanted to proudly plaster it across the front of the jerseys.

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372 Comments and 25 Replies

201

TanyaK On Tuesday, October 19 at 12:56 pm

I love the spare pony-tail holders on his wrist. That’s the sign of a thoughtful, dedicated girls coach. My daughter’s hockey coach has extra ponies, headbands and pre-wrap on him at all times. It’s one of the many reasons we know we’re lucky to have him.

202

Gina On Tuesday, October 19 at 12:59 pm

Our soccer coach is from Brazil and played for Mexico. He is serious about his soccer whether the kids are 3 or 13. My favorite is when he his coaching the kids. “Col LYNN (Collin) get da ball! You chow them how you do it! Git da BALL, now Col LYNN!” and to my daughter Caileigh, ” CAY lee, don’t hit da ball like a gurl.” “But coach, I am a girl.” ” I know dat, but don’t hit like one, see, see yur broder, hit like heeem!”

I love it and refuse to miss a game, practice or scrimmage with our coach.

christy anne On Tuesday, October 19 at 1:50 pm

Well…that just made me smile and smile!! I love how you write his accent down…it just makes it even better!

AND…that was great that you sponsored the new uniforms! Makin’ the world better…one soccer uniform at a time!

213

crazymommaof3 On Tuesday, October 19 at 1:51 pm

Dang and we got stuck with the company Hungry Buzzard, aka huge trash bins that the company delivers while constrution is going on. BTW, Marlboro man can wear a pair of Levi’s as well as a pair of Wranglers. My husband took my heart away when we first met wearing wranglers, oh and his diesel pickup. Must be the samll Kay County Town I grew up in. After reading your blog, could kick myself for leaving now. Thanks for letting me in on your life and a key to my past. My daddy was a rancher too.

I totally laughed out loud! I LOVE Giovani. I agree he should have his own section :). Yay for excitable soccer coaches with awesome accents! Go Pioneer Women!

215

Susan On Tuesday, October 19 at 1:52 pm

I think the male influences in a girls life help them formulate the kind of man they will choose for life. Supportive Fathers mostly, but male teachers, sports coaches are all part of that blend of influencial males that affect their choices…good and bad! The girls are lucky to have a coach that supports them and has a sense of humor, too. Cute pic’s!
.
I love the uniforms. The black outline sort of fools the eye to see the “gerls” as curvy with a cute little waist! Not such a good look for the coach! LOL!

Brenda W. On Tuesday, October 19 at 1:57 pm

What an awesome coach! People like him are few and far between and you’re right, he deserves an entire page. I remember my son’s first soccer team, he was the smallest player in the group, and he had really great coaches also. Good times!

That is absolutely awesome! We are soccer crazy at our house and my oldest sons coach is from England… I can completely relate to your story… now if my boys team could wear uniforms that were sponsored by “The Pioneer Woman”! I’ll be laughing all day about this

220

Holly Houston On Tuesday, October 19 at 2:01 pm

Oh my! I almost always enjoy your posts, and frequently they make me smile, but today I nearly fell on the floor laughing. My neighbors across the way now probably officially think I am crazy. or epileptic.
Thanks for the lift to my day.

kimybeee On Tuesday, October 19 at 2:02 pm

Oh, Ree, you COMPLETELY sideswipped me and I guffawed out loud just at the moment I saw that on Giovanni’s shirt. Oh. my. word. That’s priceless!

224

Michele-BA Okla On Tuesday, October 19 at 2:40 pm

I LOVE reading your descriptive words when you are talking about him. I can truly hear how he sounds & it makes me smile! My Hubby makes fun of me cause he always knows when I am reading your site….cause of all the smiles & giggles!

Thank you Pioneer Woman!

225

Gina Morrison On Tuesday, October 19 at 2:41 pm

That is LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY. Thanks for the post.

226

Carolyn On Tuesday, October 19 at 2:43 pm

Oh my gosh, I LOVE this post!

Giovanni is he best! I wish he had been MY soccer coach. I just love him with that Pioneer Woman jersey. HILARIOUS. He looks like a blast.

227

Mary in MN On Tuesday, October 19 at 2:43 pm

Ha. Coincidence… I just finished reading last year’s post about G. What a treasure you have. Very cool. Nice post. Great picts. Soccer & girls rock:)

Martha Sue On Tuesday, October 19 at 2:45 pm

I”m not sure if you need to know this – but I officially have snot running out of my nose as a result of laughing so hard. The picture of Giovanni with the pink scrolling letters was so unexpected. Oh. LOVE it! He sounds amazing!

He looks so manly with that shirt that says The Pioneer Woman! If he lived in another town where your name wasn’t so well known (are there towns like that still?), I wonder what kind of looks he’d get. :^P

Hope On Tuesday, October 19 at 2:57 pm

I *love* it!!! This post got me giggling from the start and I was crying with glee by the last pic! Thank you P-Dub!!!

234

Cheryl On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:00 pm

Love him! We could use more Giovanni’s in thees werld!!

235

Susan Barnhouse On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:01 pm

LOVE. IT. !!!!!

236

wendy m On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:09 pm

I cracked up when I saw the jerseys. It’s awesome and I love how the coach is so proud. The soccer team is his baby and have that very awesome group shot, formal and goofy, is just a wonderful keepsake.

That is so sweet! I think the uniforms look nice. And Giovanni sounds wonderful.

242

alicia On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:28 pm

I think I love Giovonni Posts as much as Charlie posts!

243

TLM On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:28 pm

Ree, This is amazing! Way to go!

244

Mary S On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:28 pm

Great Coach… great uniforms…Go HEELS!

245

Pam On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:29 pm

Oh Lawdy – I was reading the picture texts as if I could hear him speak. I have ZERO idea what he sounds like but I’m sure my accent had to be close. RIGHT? Right? Love the uniforms – and that you are so supportive of the girls.

246

Nookncranny On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:35 pm

Oh how I needed a good laugh right now!!! I love it!

247

julie On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:35 pm

This made my heart sing! We LOVE our boys’ coaches, too and would do anything for them! I love to read about your love for the coaches as well!

248

Maureen On Tuesday, October 19 at 3:39 pm

Today Show. Nah. Good Morning America. For amateurs. You know you’ve finally made it to the big time when your name gets on the uniform of a kid’s sports team!! BTW made your lasagna last night. Very yummy. So easy even I couldn’t screw it up. And believe you me the stories I could tell about my kitchen adventures. Thanks!

Have you seen the movie “Soccer Mom”? You have to. It’s about this mom, who pretends to be a male Italian soccer coach for her daughter’s team – and then turns out to be really good at it. I know Giovanni isn’t from Italy, but the way you write what he says…

There’s something so wonderful about passionate soccer coaches! We had Mario in Anchorage, Alaska who was stolen from Honduras to bring awesome coaching to kids in Alaska and now our daughter plays college soccer for UOP! Go Giovanni!!!

259

leslie On Tuesday, October 19 at 4:18 pm

Well, folks ARENT YOU GLAD TO KNOW THAT EVERY TIME YOU VIEW THIS SITE AND ALL THE OTHER PAGES YOU ARE MAKING REE MONEY SO SHE CAN SPONSER HER DAUGHTERS SOCCER CLUB?

woop.

Caroline in Tennessee On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:04 pm

Actually, yes I am glad. I love this site! I don’t know what I would do without my daily dose of P.W.! However, as the saying goes…’different strokes for different folks’! If it offends you, why come here…it is a place where everyone is nice and positive (well, almost everyone.)

Tracy =) On Wednesday, October 20 at 9:33 am

I think it’s awesome that PW is able to sponser her daughter’s soccer club. How many of us parents would love to have the means to help our kids out like that. Sounds like someone needs to bring it down a notch.

260

Laura in Little Rock On Tuesday, October 19 at 4:20 pm

Uh, is Pioneer Girl taller than Giovanni? I think so… Cracks me up as I keep praying my 9yo daughter stays under six-feet tall. I’m 5’8″, my hubby is 6’5″. I realized when my huge babies became gargantuan toddlers that marrying a giant was NOT my smartest move. I now have to feed and clothe giants for 20+ years, a lifetime. Gulp! The laundry is painful.

Bonnie On Tuesday, October 19 at 4:42 pm

Best.Post.EVER!! It takes a real man to wear “The Pioneer Woman” as a coach’s shirt… ROFLMBO!!

264

Tracy =) On Tuesday, October 19 at 4:44 pm

Your daughter has the longest legs. You don’t really notice it in the ranch pictures because she has jeans on but in the soccer pictures those shorts make her legs look miles long.

265

Esther On Tuesday, October 19 at 4:54 pm

Giovanni is hilarious! And those jerseys are awesome

266

Jenn from Arizona On Tuesday, October 19 at 4:58 pm

When I was a kid my parents and uncle were avid SCUBA divers so I was lucky enough to have grown up visiting Bonaire often. It being a Portuguese/Dutch, island soccer is huuuuuge! If we weren’t in the ocean we were watching the local games. It’s such a tiny island (you can circle it in less than an hour!), depending on when he came to the states, I probably saw him play!

Good job on sponsoring! It’s adorable that he’s so proud to display TPW!

267

lesley On Tuesday, October 19 at 5:03 pm

funny, funny stuff… Giovanni is just like my husband, he too is very passionate… except he is from Scotland. He has been coaching our South Texas girls team for 9 years. My daughter is off to uni now and he is still coaching the rest. He doesn’t coach my sons team but he plays with the little brothers and keeps them amused. Soccer is a great family game!

i love, love, love when you quote him. that is always my favorite. and at least the shirts just say ‘the pioneer woman’. it could be worse. just imagine if they added tampax or prozac logos to it.

274

linda On Tuesday, October 19 at 5:39 pm

I don’t know why Malboro Man was crying in the earlier post but I know why I am now. Thanks Ree. Now I want my own Giovanni too!

275

Brittanya On Tuesday, October 19 at 5:44 pm

Goodness Gracious P-Dub! I was all excited about the uniforms by the end of the post, but when I saw Marboro Man in that black shirt, I thought, “I now officially KNOW why she gets hiney tingles”. You Go Gurl!!!!

276

ElaineMicheline On Tuesday, October 19 at 5:51 pm

Loved the story …was even more shocked to hear that Giovanni is from Bonaire….I’m from Aruba (so technically Giovanni and I are neighbors)….Where do you live, Pioneer Woman? I haven’t been following your blog for too long..so I don’t quite know yet. Next time you see Giovanni tell him ” Con ta (tah) bai (bye)?” which means how are you doing?…he might be in shock to know that you too speak Papiamento

277

ElaineMicheline On Tuesday, October 19 at 5:57 pm

I loved this story!..Wow..Giovanni is from Bonaire? I’m from Aruba and since our islands are neighbors in the Caribbean Sea…Giovanni and I are technically neighbors too….just a couple states away Where do you live, Pioneer Woman? I live in Miami,FL with my husband …and it’s so nice to see my fellow ABC islander getting featured in blogs

Next time you see Giovanni tell him “Con ta (tah) bai (bye)?” which means how are you in papiamento (native language of the ABC islands). He’ll be shocked to know that you speak his native tongue as well. Again, thanks for sharing this story..and tell Giovanni that a Rubiano said HI

What a wonderful story. We need more Giovanni’s to enthuse and inspire our kids!
Great uniforms and team picture!

280

Cheri in IN On Tuesday, October 19 at 6:05 pm

I so love the shot of the macho “Coach Giovanni” sporting the very elegant and feminine “Pioneer Woman” logo !! What an awesome pic But maybe that isn’t exactly the demographic you were shooting for…
Thanks for sharing, PW.

Oh, we sang that song for our 5th grade graduation. I can still sing the song in it’s entirety. I hated it then and I hate it now.

282

janine On Tuesday, October 19 at 6:26 pm

That is AWESOME! I want to join come join the team to be under such a guy (plus get to wear such a cool shirt!!)…or maybe instead of killing myself running around on a soccer field, when I don’t even know how to play, you could just send one to me!? I mean, you already know the pain of soccer, and you wouldn’t want me to suffer too!

Terri On Tuesday, October 19 at 6:44 pm

Theresa in Alberta On Tuesday, October 19 at 6:49 pm

very cool! we have a coach like that here he’s from Italy and he is incredible!

286

Laura On Tuesday, October 19 at 6:52 pm

Make em an honaree Mawlboro mun!!!

287

Regina On Tuesday, October 19 at 7:14 pm

I love this post….it’s all I can say! It’s such a happy post! Giovanni is ROCKING in his new PW jersey….HAHAHAHA! And hey….How did their team place? I bet it was first! YEAH!

288

Katherine On Tuesday, October 19 at 7:23 pm

After a rotten day, this was just the lift I needed. God bless that man. You can tell he is going to make them do their best whether they really like it or not. But they will like it. As a matter of fact, I bet they’ll love it!

289

lucy ethel's mom On Tuesday, October 19 at 7:28 pm

Please tell Jeannie that I love whatever it is that she did to her t-shirt sleeves!!!!!!!!!’
And, to please share her secret. What did she do? Please? Please? Pretty, pretty please?

You rock for sponsoring (glad there is no picture of a cast iron fry pan – LOL) the tees. Giovanni rocks for making the girls push themselves and expecting more, much more. Go “THE PIONEER WOMAN” Soccer Team !!!!!

290

Kendall On Tuesday, October 19 at 7:51 pm

That is so sweet!!! I’m gonna get teary eyed. Awww…

291

Kawa On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:03 pm

Aww, that is so sweet of you guys to help with jerseys!

And actually, having the sponsor in large letters on the front is actually a time-honored soccer tradition: pretty much every modern professional team does it. It probably makes him feel more like a ~real~ team to have the sponsor there!

linda On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:07 pm

Laura On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:30 pm

Found your website a couple of months ago while looking up recipes (never have been a blog reader before)… and loved it!!! Have read some of the negative stuff on other blogs about you and had pretty much decided it was b.s. – so to speak. And then started reading this post and all the talk about sponsorsip, new uniforms, etc.; and thought to myself: OK this woman has gotten all this slack just because she and her husband have been lucky enough to be from good families, as well as being so successful on their own in life. Why would she invite critcism by talking about sponsoring uniforms for her daughter’s team? Kept scrolling and kept reading despite myself because I’ve enjoyed your stories and such so much. Then one more scroll of my mouse and… there’s handsome and very masculine Giovanni wearing his delicately scribed Pioneer Woman jersey. And proceeded to roll on floor hiccuping and laughing. It’s been a rough time around here lately. Thanks for keeping the giggles and smiles coming. For that I have two admissions of my own: (1) Okay, I admit it. I have read other blogs before. Celebrity gossip (eonline, perez hilton) and being full of useless and entertaining info. from such is a guilty pleasure of mine. My family pretends they don’t know that of which I speak! (2) And, yes, I am the very proudly owned person of a bluetick beagle hound myself. It took him ten years to get me trained just right and every second of those years was wonderful to both of us. I hope it helps explain Charlie furthur to you. He isn’t really cantankerous… at all or ever. He is just exhibiting normal characteristics exhibited by all hound dogs as they so patiently train their person, master and children as to what exactly they and need expect from life: fine food (bull nuts, bacon, etc), cushy furniture (down is the best!), a great pet or two to keep them entertained (aka Kitty, George, etc), and good friends who know how to really treat a hound dog with respect (friend=Josh and treat=bacon, etc), and much adoration from all he encountersin his wailful life (wail=most beautiful sound in the world!). So with that being said. Keep on rocking, rolling, and keeping it real PW. Your reading is fun!

295

CJ On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:31 pm

What a great story and full of memories for me. Our daughter, Sarah, played soccer “forever”. Juan coached and I think Giovanni must be a lot like him. Thanks for the “quotes”. GOOOOOO Pioneer Women!

296

Tifferrific On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:33 pm

These are some nice jerseys! I never had anything nice like that when I was in AYSO! I hope the girls are enjoying them!

297

Jennifer On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:35 pm

LOL!!! So funny!!

298

Sue S On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:39 pm

pw- SOCCER IS OK but field hockey is SOOOOOOOOOOOO much better. Get in the groove with us…love ya.

299

Melissa M. On Tuesday, October 19 at 8:50 pm

Ree, I really admire you and MM for pulling the money out of your pockets to sponsor the uniforms for your daughter’s whole team. They look great too! Thanks!

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