May 31, 2011

The cool pack assembled at Koff's and Dint's in an icy East Devonport. GoneAgain wearing barefoot runners and no light was brave to expose himself to the elements with his cough. When Mable failed to show up the pack left.

Walkers got to the second master check where Dint's secret message was to be read. It said something to the effect; 'Why should I bother setting a walkers trail if you c#nts always ignore it... So no special walking trail, and take this as your ON HOME you b#stards' ... The runners did 7+ kms and didn't succumb to frostbite.

The fare waiting for us was again banquetulous, and there appears to be a gourmet trend in Hash happening. Too many unspeakable dishes to name, and only a few takers for the a la carte deserts. I just want some bangers and mash for the next run. Expired and unpalatable chocolates in the rigged raffle complemented by some Cairns souvenirs and riveting CDs.

Maybe Black Tracka will find us some pizzas and beer for next week's run. Meeting at the Glistening Erection at 630pm! Gloves might be of the order.

May 27, 2011

GoneAgain may have set a good run, but Fanny May certainly put on a feast. Complete 12 course degustation menu ending with home made Apple Crumble and ice cream we spend the majority of the time stuffing our faces. This Hash was a Take it Off and Put it On type deal where we may have burned a few calories gallivanting around the new SurfClub and the Naked Erection, but we sure stacked the calories back on to make up for it. Hang on, was that a flash-back of GA's run? Anyways, not important. We had Dutch licorice, Australian Port, home made Pumpkin Soup, Chorizo nibbles with Bega Cheese, French bread sticks with King Island Butter,.... and despite the two days of kitchen labour it worked out at $1.17 per head miraculously.

Anyone like to match that? Dint is the first brave Hare to give it a go, thinking he can whip Koff (pictured above stressing about how she can possibly compete with this kind of catering) into a cooking frenzy, bare foot and pleading for mercy. Good luck guys. See you at Dint's Place, Church Street, East Devonport.

May 18, 2011

The run started at Lantern's place. Lantern, pictured above, led all us non-believers to the Dead Center of Town; the cemetery situated practically at his doorstep. There we heard haunting rain and blowing wind sounds which mysteriously appeared out of a big box in the outdoor chapel where we had our first master check. Key hashers were assigned ancient kerosene lamps, complete with genies inside, and instructed under no circumstance to loose sight of each other. The trail ran an eerie loop of the graveyard before disappearing in the zombie infested adjoining dark woods.

Many dark woods and cemeteries later, the walkers and runners, still carrying their dimly flickering lanterns (scaring residents), were guided in separate directions with the runners disappearing deep into the Don forest, and coming out at Sawdust bridge. At this point in time Guardy, who set the run, was already patrolling the streets with his hearse tolling the bell for people to bring out their dead. Several Hashers took this opportunity and were collected in this manner and redeposited back at the haunted and camouflaged Lantern HQ under the bridge over the highway.

Bald Eagle was keen to get his soul removed by my iPhone too

Lantern arranged splendid catering as per his usual standard, but this time he had contracted Guardy and his gas cooker to help to cook up an evil Goul-Hash. The pavlova for desert was most menacing, creeping into the digestive system of all present, including diabetics and slimmers.

The rigged raffle saw a nice country music cassette won by Crow (or at least he was the eventual recipient of it). Unfortunately Crow had forgotten how to use casettes in general and no matter how he tried he could not hear any music.

As pumpkin time approached the Hashers got into a fit of planking. Seen below is Dyke who was in the middle of doing some 'pelvic floor exercises' when Dini felt compelled to do an impromptu plank on his lap.

May 14, 2011

Feels on Wheels Feeling the Love as he won the grant prize in the rigged raffle.

The pack braved the cold air and headed off into the darkness. Danger loomed in the back-streets of 'the Stone' which must've frightened most walkers to Hash home early to help Dini with the Braai. Dini had arranged a feast of chicken and stuff, and Flasher was responsible for the grand tour of Ulverstone. Intrepid running Hashers negotiated the bridge works on the on-home risking life and limb, but all survived their ordeal. Cold down-downs and warm fires heated our souls. The Rigged raffle was rigged. And so we carry on....

Next run on Monday 16 May from Lantern’s place: Stoney Rise Road, Devonport (near Tugrah Road Junction, but not quite). Come as your favourite ghost or spirit. White sheets permitted.

Flasher's Grand Tour of the Stone - click on map for all gory details...

May 2, 2011

It was a pint-sized pack for a perfect night, and the trail had more checks than a fat man's kilt. Every little two bob street between William Street and Steele Street had its little dollops of flour, carefully measured with a teaspoon, and every street corner had a check. The runners covered most of it, the sensible walkers mutinied in stages until only the geek pack of Tracka and Ringo were still out. Two beers later they were still out, so Guardy went to their rescue, while the rest went to devour the tucker at Dyke's cottage. Guest lip for the circle was Knackers, who after being thrown in at the deep end proved he could talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles. So scarred is he by the experience he says he won't come back until August. Downs for the hare and the cook, and a few sprinkled around for minor misdemeanours like colour coordinated socks. Mabel told something he thought was a joke, twice, just in case it got funnier the second time, which it didn't. Not a goldfish in sight. Lantern won the major raffle prize, a 1969 Birds of Australia tea towel, while others got the junky prizes like wine, chocolates, porn and DVD players.Next week's run is being set by Dini from Otto's Grotto, Ulverstone.On On Dini

Soff's run reminded all of us that torches, and perhaps life-vests, are handy items to have on winter runs. Perhaps Soff was hoping to put one of us through a hip replacement too, or whatever his motivation; The run he set nicely skirted high water tide across wet and slimy rocks. Trees and other obstacles were strategically placed on trail. To top it all off he had two concurrent circle checks where Hashers split up in two teams and both waited for each other to arrive before calling 'on'. The awkward stalemate was resolved when both parties gave up yelling. ... After many a down down all was forgiven, and the food was just splendid, and perhaps reminiscent of High Tide.

Next run from the Devonport Pool carpark, on the Edge of the dark Don Reserve where Dyke is arranging the trail. OnOn at Dyke's place at the foot of Kelcey Tier. Don't forget raffle money, and expect to win the last of the roadkill chocolate bunnies.

The Odd Sock Hash

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Listen and Learn!

DH3 Hash Song

Good ol’ Devonport for ever,We’re the best hash club around,We know how to take the short cuts,In the bush or in the town,Side by side we drink together,From a stubby can or glass,Good ol’ Devonport forever,Burnie takes it up the arse.

DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN

If you are bored with the songs we sing why not learn a couple of these songs:

NW Google Hash Group

Burnie TRASH Repository

Burnie Trash, including select historical editions, can be viewed on line <here>.

OFFICE BEARERS 2017-18

DH3 Committee 2017/18

Grandmaster - Crab

Joint Masters - Pioneer and Bastard

Trailmasters -Bald Eagle and Maggie

Walkers Trailmasters -Soff and Shagadellic

Hare Raiser-Guardy

Hash Hops -Cheese

Hash Cash -Tracka

Hash Stats -Tracka

Hash Lip -Crow and Soff

Hash Flash -Gone Again

Hash Hawker -Bastard

Beer Bitch -Tinsel

Hash Scribe -Tracka and Tinsel

Hash Texta -Guardy

Hash Monk -Cistern

Independent Hash Marriage Guidance Councilors -Koff

Wrigged Wraffle -Tracka

And incidentally,....

1. HASH HOPS: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get another full one for the next hash. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.

2. GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beermeister, Hash Cash, Hash Mouth, Hash Flash, and On-Sec in real importance to the hash.

3. HASH HAWKER or HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

4. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

5. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

6. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, film, take pictures, have them developed, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

7. HASH HARLOT: A trashy wench who has seen the dark side of hashing... and likes it! One with a lust for life who, revels in being the butt of the jester's ribald wit, the object of the songster's bawdy lyric, and the centerpiece of sensual repartee at all hash functions.

9. LIP : The hash mouth runs the official business at the On-On with an iron hand. (S)he must be loud, clear, passionate, articulate, humorous and possess an uncommon ability to think on his feet. It also helps if (s)he speaks English.

10. HASHIT KEEPER: This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large cardboard box (or entire house) filled with the flotsam and jetsam of past hashes. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. However, the hashit itself rarely makes it to the hash, although the custodian is usually there himself. This reinforces the argument that remembering to bring the hashit is probably beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

11. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist's dream. (S)he struggles with piles of paper, miles of computer wire, and might attempt to occasionally produce a Hound Directory or Hash Trash to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the principal "outside" representative maintaining the Harrier.Net Worldwide WebSite, the hash membership data base. Boring stuff to say the least.

12. RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud light) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

13. SONGMEISTER: This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)