Thursday, November 26, 2009

Booze. It's what you had too much of last night. Facebook status updates focused solely on how bad your hangover probably is today.

Need drinking/hangover status updates? You've come to the right blog post!____ is thinking that my body is not a temple...it's a distillery with legs.____ thinks our friendship is bad for my liver.____ thinks your low-key Thanksgiving dinner and wine party is quickly escalating into the largest potential group-blackout I've ever attended.
____ Many things can be preserved in alcohol. DIGNITY is not one of them.
____ Sure, drinking kills brain cells, but only the weak ones.
____ Dear beer, You hurt me. Again.
____ just heard that there's new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I had that last night, only it was called "alcohol".
____ thinks my life is a very complicated drinking game.

...and to make you feel (slightly) better about your "pre-Thanksgiving alcohol binge", some famous quotes about drinking.____ "To one large turkey add one gallon of vermouth and a demi-john of Angostura bitters. Shake." - Recipe for turkey cocktail from F. Scott Fitzgerald. (no, I did NOT make that up)____ "I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved." - George Gobel____ "Come quickly, I am tasting stars!" - Dom Perignon (1638-1715) at the moment of his discovery of champagne.____ "It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her." - W.C. Fields