The Relationship Virgin

After everything that happened with Justin last week, I was emotionally exhausted. It wasn't a Hamptons weekend, and I was looking forward to having the two-day holiday to myself to relax and recover.

On Friday afternoon, as I was packing up to leave, Richard swung by my desk.

"How goes it?"

I pointed at the bags under my eyes. "I think this says it all."

"You look like you always do."

"God, I hope not."

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"What are you doing this weekend?" he asked.

"Nothing and I couldn't be happier about it."

"Are you serious? It's finally summer. This is not the weekend to hibernate."

He was right. It was 90 degrees out and sticky. "Break up pain is season-less," I protested. "It wants Ben and Jerry's no matter how hot it is outside."

"Josie," Richard said. "You have it all wrong. Break ups should whip you into better shape so that you can outkick your coverage when it comes to the next person you sleep with." He pulled my chair away from my desk so quickly that it startled me and I yelped. "Let's go get a drink. Vodka soda for you, miss."

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"I drink that any way," I grumbled.

Richard and I ended up at an Irish pub a few blocks from our office. I realized I didn't really know that much about him other than the fact that he was 26, from Long Island, and that he liked IPAs.

"What made you get into book publishing?" I asked, swirling my straw in the vodka soda Richard had ordered for me.

"I read Bright Lights, Big City when I was 15 and was determined to work at a high brow magazine, just like the main character." Richard shrugged. "The entry level position at a magazine is an editorial assistant, same as in book publishing. When I got this job a few years ago I thought I could eventually transition to magazines." He shook his head. "Doesn't work like that. But this job still has a creative component, which I like. Plus, I figure learning the industry from the inside out is a good way to make connections. Maybe I'll write a book of my own one day."

"I'm a writer too!" I exclaimed. "I have a book coming out in September."

"Wait, are you serious?" Richard asked. "How have you never mentioned this before?"

"Well," I cleared my throat. "I have some reservations about it." I explained to him the concept of the book. How it was a small publishing house that had approached me. "It's not the same as coming up with your own idea and shopping it around until you find an agent and an editor," I said. "It's really manufactured and formulaic."

"Why are you shitting on yourself?" Richard asked. "So it's not the next great American novel…you're what? Twenty-four? You have time."

"Twenty-five," I said.

"Nevermind. I take it back. You're past your prime." Richard grinned at me.

I elbowed him. "What about you?" I asked. "You know all about my relationship drama. You owe me a chapter of your own."

"I'd give it up if I had it." Richard took a sip of his beer. "But I've never been in a relationship before."

"What do you mean you've never been in a relationship before?"

"Exactly what I just said," Richard laughed. "I'm a relationship-virgin."

"But not like a real virgin-virgin, right?"

Richard gave me A Look and I held up my hands. "Just asking."

"I just don't really believe in monogamy," Richard said.

"How convenient for you."

"It's not just an excuse to have sex with as many people as I want, you know." Richard took a sip of his drink and smiled. "Though it helps with that too."

"Ugh. Gross."

"Relax," he said. "I'm just messing with you. In all honesty, my parents had a really fucked up marriage, and an even more fucked up divorce. I just haven't ever seen this idea of being with one person for the rest of your life work out for anyone."

Even though I was proof positive that monogamy doesn't always work, I couldn't imagine the idea of being single for the rest of my life. I could imagine being an old woman with lots of cats and one especially rotund bulldog, but that would be a result of continuing to pick men who are afraid of commitment, not a conscious choice. "What about kids?" I asked.

"Love other people's. Don't want any of my own."

"You're better than I am," I said. "I don't even like other people's."

"You monster!" He pointed at my drink. "Finish that up. I have a date in an hour and I have to run home and change."

The word "date" caught me off guard and I can't really explain why. I certainly didn't think Richard and I were on a date right then, and he was like, betraying me or anything. And it wasn't even like I wanted to go on a date with him. There was a mild flirtation between the two of us but we seemed to have an understanding that there was a line, and we wouldn't cross it.

I slugged the rest of my drink and dug around in my purse for my wallet.

"Stop," Richard said. He dropped a $20 on the table. "I got this."

"Are you sure?"

He gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'm opposed to monogamy, not chivalry."

"Thanks," I said. "This really did cheer me up."

As I pulled away in a cab that Richard hailed for me, I realized the one plus side of a break up (aside from losing weight and outkicking your coverage the next time around) is that it shines a light on all the good people in your life.