If one is going to be truthful, one has to be very tender. — Florida Scott-Maxwell

Honesty is always the best policy, right? We glibly recite that saying, but it’s important to reevaluate its meaning when we are eager to correct or direct the actions of the other people. If being honest will unnecessarily harm them, perhaps being silent is better.

The program is helping us restructure our lives. We discover that many former, automatic responses no longer fit who we desire to be. That means we have to try new, less-practiced behaviors, such as being honest without being harsh or critical.

Learning tenderness is possible. With the help of this program and one another, we are learning to express the acceptance and love that have been given to us by our Higher Power. Giving away what we have been given is sharing the truth absolutely.

I will not hurt anyone today by any comment. I will truthfully share the love and acceptance I have been given.

Reflection for the DayGiving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter whether love is returned or not. If I give love only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out by my motives. If I have the capacity to give love, then any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love freely and without expectation of return, that we find ourselves and build ourselves spiritually.

Have I begun to believe, in the words of Goethe, that, “Love does not dominate; it cultivates …?”

Today I PrayMay I, the inveterate people-pleaser and approval-seeker, know that the only real love does not ask for love back. May God be patient as I try to practice this principle. May I rid myself of pride that throws itself in the way of love. May I discard my silly cat-and-mouse games that have no place in real love.

“…(D)eep down in every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 (“We Agnostics”), p 55.

Today, if I expect AA to work for me, I must expect myself to work with it, and I must knock down the wall that separates me from a power stronger than myself to begin my recovery from alcoholism. If I am struggling or even rejecting the possibility of such a power, let me read and embrace these words from the Big Book and accept on blind faith the hope that somewhere inside me is a “fundamental idea of God.” He, God, need not be a religious entity but a spiritual one, and a “spiritual awakening,” even if it is a basic change in my psyche or character, is required if I am to achieve any kind of quality recovery. Today, I must put aside any resistance and open myself to the idea of a power stronger than myself so that I can earn the benefits of recovery. If alcohol is stronger than me, I have to believe and hope that a force stronger than alcohol can restore me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2014