anxiety is rooted in control.

I had planned to start a new series about our farmhouse renovation. I haven’t really written about it on this blog because Dave asked me not to share pictures until it was finished {he knows I’m an over-sharer…he is so strange to me, the fun is in the progress :)}. Anyway, I decided that I needed something fun to focus on right now and that was going to be it. Remember last year when I casually mentioned we were MOVING a 100+year old house to some land outside of town? I mean, that is FUN. We moved a house! That is not something you see everyday. We are getting close to completing the renovation. And, the story of this house is just so amazing. A God story, for sure.

Sneak Peek at the CRAZY! Yep, you’re seeing this.
That is a roof. In the air.

But, all of that fun will wait for now. Sorry, you’ll have to check back:).

For now, I have to share a couple of things that have happened in our adoption journey…

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 3:30 am and I was wide awake. The only thing that I could think about was that I needed to check my email. And, there, displayed by the bright neon light on my phone in the dark of the room {that woke Dave up – he was so confused and not happy about being woken up to my phone’s light and my shrieks of joy}, were FOUR emails from the Embassy in Kinshasa. I had sent a “few” emails over the past month inquiring about our case and never received a response…until yesterday.

This was such an answered prayer and a reminder that God hasn’t forgotten about us in the midst of all the other stuff happening. He has His hands FULL so I could see how we could slip off the radar. SO thankful God doesn’t work like that. Thankful that His ways are much, much higher than mine.

Soooo, we finally, finally have an interview at the Embassy for S’s birth momma!! The interview is scheduled for next week! I’ve shared on our private facebook page, but here are my prayers for this time {if you would like to join me in praying, I would be immensely grateful}:

Lord Jesus, please let this woman, your daughter, and the woman who carried our precious S in her womb, feel your peace as she takes this final step of relinquishing her precious baby girl. Comfort her heart and give her strength. Lord Jesus, please let her arrive safely to the interview. And, Jesus, please let the interview go well. Please let the Embassy staff hear her story and stand in agreement that S is an orphan no more- she is a beloved and treasured daughter of our King and can come home to be a part of our family!!!

After walking on cloud 9 all morning {even through my exhaustion – no, I could not fall back asleep}, I leaned that the state department had posted a new alert with updated information from the immigration authority in the DRC. You can read the alert HERE.

Honestly, this doesn’t change things for us. We are still waiting out the exit permit suspension and praying HARD that it does not last the full 12 months. Please, Jesus.

But, this affects three of my close friends on this journey. Three strong women who have walked this road with me and have encouraged me, prayed for me and stood beside me. These three women {and many others} are now being told that they cannot bring home the children they have come to love {and two of them have met their babies already} simply because they are single {and one precious momma is a young widow}. To say that this news is devastating is an understatement.

I am so encouraged to already see good coming out of this… we have a group of mommas that have been relentlessly praying, sharing scripture and encouraging one another. And, yesterday, we collectively cried together…across the nation. It has been incredible to watch God bind these sweet sisters’ hearts together for the cause of justice for the orphaned and oppressed.

In yesterday morning’s Bible study, Beth Moore’s words rung in my ears. This statement just sent goosebumps up and down my spine. Such truth.

“Anxiety steals our joy. All anxiety is rooted in control. Anxiety turns into all out fear when we know we have no control.” – Beth Moore

Amen, Beth. Amen.

My anxious heart did a double take in that moment. I know that I have absolutely no control here. But, I also know that the One who is in control has more authority than any government decision. Therefore, I am trusting that God cares what happens to S and all of my friend’s children, and I am casting my anxieties onto Him. {1 Peter 5:7}

I can’t change my circumstances but I can change my outlook. I can keep my eyes on Jesus and stand firm in His truth.

This morning, I shared what God spoke to my heart with my fellow mommas. I’ll copy some of here because I want to remember all of this. I want to look back on these days and see God’s hand in all of it.

“Good morning, sweet sisters. Warning: this is long.

I had to share a little of what God spoke to my heart this morning…
“Jenny, read Isaiah again. Remember my promises.”

You see, when we were struggling over the decision to change country programs and I spent an afternoon praying over the decision, God led me to one of my favorite books of the Bible, Isaiah. I read and cried and prayed and cried for hours. It was an incredible afternoon – I felt like Jesus was sitting there with me reading the words and explaining them to my heart and how they do not only apply to events thousands of years ago, but to my life today. And, how he wants to move in my life and in the life of His children in the DRC. I have highlights and underlines and asterisks and exclamation marks all over that book. He spoke so much truth to my heart that day. He gave me a clear direction for what He wanted Dave and I to do. And, now, as I read back through the same words, I am reminded, that the same God who brought them to life for me one year ago, wants me to read them now with fresh eyes.

He is going to perform a miracle, girls! “Everyone will see this miracle and understand that it is the LORD, the Holy One of Israel, who did it.” {Isaiah 41:20}.

“He will reveal justice to the nations” {Isaiah 42:1}…When the poor and needy search for water and there is none, and their tongues are parched from thirst, then I, the LORD, will answer them, I, God of Israel, will never forsake them.” {Isaiah 41:17}.

“I, the LORD, have called you to demonstrate your righteousness. I will guard and support you…And you will be a light to guide all nations to me. You will open the eyes of the blind and free the captives from prison. You will release those who sit in dark dungeons {or dark orphanages!!}”
{Isaiah 42:6-7}

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. {We are HIS. Our children are HIS}. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior… you are precious to me. You are honored and I love you.” {Isaiah 43:1-3}

Last one…this is good… “For I am about to do a brand new thing. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? {honestly, no, Lord, I don’t see it yet but I trust you}… I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come home {and OUR babies!!}. I will create rivers for them in the desert!” {Isaiah 43:19}.

One of the commentaries in my Bible says this about the verse above, “The past miracles were nothing compared to what God would do for his people in the future.” I know that my family’s adoption journey has been full of incredible, incredible miracles. God’s fingerprints have been all over this path. He has confirmed our steps and revealed His heart to us in fresh ways. So, to think that the miracles to come are going to be far greater than anything He has already done, is awesome.

I cannot wait to see what He has already begun here. I’m praying that He bind our aching-momma hearts together in prayer and open our eyes anew to see His work. So that we can all give Him the glory when the miracles come to pass. So that, we will know without a doubt, that it was God’s hand who delivered our precious children.”

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Hi there! I'm Jenny, wife to Dave and momma to four littles. My desire for this blog is to tell the stories God is writing in my own life with the purpose of encouraging you, dear reader, to seek joy in the midst of the ordinary and to relentlessly pursue Hope even when brokenness is abundant.