Oh bugger, it’s December, again. Tis the season to be…. yeah, yeah, not yet eh? I’m just not feeling all tinselly at the moment, you? I’ll try, really, I will…… After Devizes had a great light switch on last night, I suppose I should get things rolling; here’s some stocking fillers for your diary, yet only a selection of what’s to be doing this month. Check Devizine regularly for updates, as and when they come in, unless you wanna be left in the dark, on your lonesome, crying into your eggnog. Oh yeah, local New Year’s Eve events are listed here, so plan your diary with us!

So, trigger-happy fingers resting on the house lights, waiting to outdo the neighbour? Ready to slain other shoppers for a Fingerlings Dino? If your feeling festive already, on Saturday 1st: It’s Melksham’s turn to switch on their lights, and after I’d recommend you go see Big Mama and her Banned at the Pilot.

It’s Free Entry for a Wiltshire Air Ambulance fundraiser at the Cross Keys, Rowde with Cover-Up, the new name for great local band, Eazilyled. Or if you fancy a reggae intro to the season, a pared down version of Swindon’s finest, SN Dubstation, Little & Large are at The Southgate, Devizes. There’s Chicken Teddys at The Crown Devizes, who’d I’d have thought could’ve changed their name to Turkey Teddys just for this month, you know, might motivate me into the spirit of things!

Lucky for Calne, they got George Wilding at the London Road Inn, or I’d admit the Aldbourne Oompah Loompahz Band at The Blue Boar sounds fun and Christmassy. Trowbridge have a great line-up at the Pump, in aid of Dorothy House with the Stonegallows, Steam Shed and Bryony McGinty.

Daytime Sunday the 2nd sees a Santa Fun Run in aid of Wiltshire Air Ambulance at Lydiard Park, and a Country Music Showcase at H2O Swindon, with Rick Jordan, Will Brown, Jamie R Hawkins, Josh Beddis & Mike McCoy.

Closer to home, why not pop in to the Ann Swan Studios in Rowde? The astounding botanical artist has a Christmas Shopping Day. Continuing on the art theme, the wonderful landscape artist Bryony Cox starts her exhibit at the Vaults in Devizes. It runs until 16th.

Wed 5th – 7th West Lavington Village Hall have Wreath Making workshops. The Bootleg Beatles are at Bath Forum, but if staying in Devizes it’s got to be the regular Acoustic Jam Night at The Southgate.

Thurs 6th: A real UK comedy circuit favourite for over 20 years, Pierre Hollins is headlining the Moonrakers Comedy Club at The Cellar Bar, Devizes. He’s supported the likes of Lenny Henry and Rory Bremner. Dripping with sarcasm and dry wit, Andy Gleeks from Northern Ireland by way of Buckinghamshire, supports and Ed Parnell is the master of ceremonies. Tickets £10 from: The Bear Hotel, Devizes Books, The British Lion, The Southgate Inn, The Vaults, and on-line at We Got Tickets.

Meanwhile, after 39 years and still counting, The Blues Band take the Melksham Assembly Hall.

Friday 7th: Both Southbroom St James Academy and Nursteed School have their Christmas Fayres. It’s the Wharf Theatre’s opening night of the amusing-sounding pantomime whodunnit, Kidnap in Pantoland, which runs till 15th December.

Great local band, Nightlights play the Southgate, while a Kasabian Tribute, Kazabian play the Melksham Assembly Hall. But yes, they’ve topped it at Neeld in Chippenham, where Dreadzone will be live, unless you fancy some Bad Manners, who are at Salisbury City Hall. For a cheaper night though, I’d recommend The Three Horseshoes at Bradford On Avon, who have those outrageous Boothill All-Stars.

Now, musically, spoiled for choice in Vizes: The Southgate Inn have Liz ‘n’ Stix, while The Black Swan has Fraser Tilley and Vince Bell. That said, it’s Sheer Music’s Sensational return to Devizes at The Cellar Bar, with Sam Russo and Jamie R Hawkins.

If you thought he’d be busy, you’re mistaken; there will be a visit from Father Christmas at The Bear Hotel on Sunday 9th. Breakfast or afternoon tea with ol’ Santa, with festive activities, delicious food, story time and a gift, all for £17.50. Booking is essential.

It’s Complicated again, this time down The Southgate, or The Ultimate Garth Brooks Experience at Devizes Ameripolitan Music Club. Melksham Assembly Hall go “Through the Decades” with Buddy Holly & Roy Orbison. And an Open Jam Session at The Jenny Wren, Calne polishes the weekend off.

Wednesday 12th Sheer Music Presents Undead Raisins at the Vic, Swindon. But you can always rely on The Southgate if stuck in Devizes, for another acoustic jam night.

The Vaults have a Devizes Festive Food Night on Thurs 13th. £20 will get you a Christmas share platter to start; Devil on horseback, Pigs in blanket, Leek and stilton tartlet with walnuts. Roulade of Parma ham with roasted red peppers on Bruschetta, Orange and spice chicken skewers. Main meal is venison and berries, cooked with Stealth Brew Co beer, of course Malcom, of course. Served with dumplings, creamed dauphinois potatoes and winter veg. with a selection of hearty bread, vegetarian and vegan options available, price including a pint of cask beer, a small glass of wine, gin & tonic, or soft drink, and mincemeat tart served with Chantilly cream for pudding at a snippet of £2.00.

Unusually quiet on Friday’s in Devizes, yet the 14th we hear Sound Affects will be at The Lamb, and the Roughcut Rebels at the Southgate. Up the 80s Christmas Party at Melksham Assembly Hall, 2 Tone All-Ska’s at Level III and a Swindon Dub Club Christmas special at the Afro Caribbean Centre. Dreamwave @ 3 Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon, Big Mama’s Banned Live @ Hare & Hounds Corsham.

Saturday 15th, ooh, he’s making his list, checking it twice. Father Christmas will be at The Market Lavington Village Hall, as from 10:30 – 11:30 there’s a Christmas Crafts party for children. £6 per child, in aid of Muscular Dystrophy UK.

Panto alert, it’s behind you: The Shoebox Theatre, Swindon, start production of The Elves and the Shoemaker, which runs until 23rd. Meanwhile, the Invitation Theatre Company have an Annual Christmas Concert at St Johns Church, Devizes. The Downtown Daddyo’s rock the Melksham Rock ‘n’ Roll Club, Scratchy Black Cat are at The Southgate Inn.

The Blunders are 3 Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon. There’s comedy with Gary Delaney’s Gagster’s Paradise at the Neeld, Chippenham.

Sun 16th: The Day Breakers play the Southgate, Cantaloop play 3 Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon, and it’s the last ever gig, apparently, for 2 Sick Monkeys at Level III Swindon.

Tuesday 18th: be at The Vaults, Devizes, where Ian Diddams reads his Christmas whodunnit, Murder on The Polar Express. With Devizine guest writers, Andy Fawthrop and Gail Foster offering seasonally inappropriate poetry. Donations on the night which will go towards Devizes Opendoors.

Wednesday 19th: White Horse Opera’s Christmas Concert in St John’s Church, will be an evening of stunning music in a gorgeous setting, with Mulled wine, mince pies and a chance to sing along to your favourite carols. Tickets from Devizes Books or http://www.ticketsource.co.uk/whitehorseopera

Saturday 22nd is Yule ~ Fire Dragon Ceremony around the stones of Avebury. The Long Street Blues Club, Devizes Remember Joe Cocker, the Rockin’ Bandits are at The Southgate and People Like Us are “getting ready for Xmas” at The Three Crowns. But whoa there, Mike Barham’s DEVMAS! is at The Cellar Bar, FREE Entry, featuring: The Compact Pussycat, Sunset Service, The Real Cheesmakers, and Nerve Endings. All for Julia’s House.

On Sunday 23rd there’s Devizes Family Club’s Children’s Christmas Disco at The Devizes Cons Club, in association with Vinyl Realm. 7:30-9:30, £3 in aid of the Devizes Opportunity Centre. Helena at The Southgate.

Christmas Eve is a Monday then? Who knew? Kept that one quiet, didn’t you? Typical.

Keep the kids active, there’s a football fun day for ages 5-16 years with Inclusion Coaching. 10-2pm at Green Lane Playing Fields Devizes: exclusive MATCH ATTAX Football Festival! A present for all! Nonstop football! Just £18!

If you’re exhausted just thinking about that, adults could wander down the Southgate, where rumour has it, there’ll be some reggae, compliments of mi bredrin, Knatti P.
Then, well, Santa comes, if you’ve been good; make your own entertainment, all is quiet, save for the sound of scrabble tiles and Grandad snoring on the sofa still wearing his cracker hat. Then another big riot, with Mick Jogger and the Stones Experience at Market Lavington Music & Comedy Club on Friday 28th.

Saturday 29th, when you can still taste the cold turkey sandwiches, Larkin have their EP launch party; not to be missed Larkin fans, you’ll get a copy of the EP to take home with you, all for £3. More details here, when we reviewed the EP.

I’ve also got Carpet, plus The Hound on the Mountain listed at The Southgate, Devizes; they never stop providing great music, do they?! I expect they’ve got a new year line-up too? Oh yes, indeedy.

So, we’ve finally got here: NEW YEARS EVE 2018/19!!

Yes so, they’ve a party, with Jamie Hawkins & Phil Cooper: NYE 2018 at The Southgate, while Larkin are at The Moonrakers and Sugar Motown is at The Three Crowns. There’s New Year’s Eve at Bromham Social Centre, with Forklift Truck and a disco. But, but, but, Craig Charles Funk and Soul NYE is happening again at Meca, in Swindon, get tickets like yesterday for that one. Staying in town though, the Devizes Scooter Club New Year’s Eve Party is going to be a blinder, with DJ Des, covering music from 1960’s to present Day, Tickets £12 from the Cons Club or the scooter club.

That’s that which is that then, 2018 at its very end, bring on 2019. If I missed your event out, that is, and I’ve said this before, but no one listens, you didn’t tell me about it! I will update this later in the month, so ping those events at me, it’s okay, I probably won’t come and spoil it for you, don’t worry! But if you don’t tell me, don’t moan at me that I missed it. You’d be surprised by the amount of times this actually happens; bar humbug!

Also, I can’t be adding links to all these events on one article, what do you think I ain’t got something else to be doing? You can find more info on the all, on our Calendar, so go there, with bells on.