Melania Trump's speech writer McIver to blame, his enemies or his team?

That’s the sound of Melania’s 2016 convention speech exploding across Americans’ television screens as voters dropped their morning cups of coffee! CNN gleefully jabbered that she stole the best bits from Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC speech.

Ka–boom!

How did this happen? First, two of Jebra Bush’s older brother’s speech writers, Matthew Scully and John McConnell, veteran Republican scribblers, claimed they’d been paid to write for Melania, but she’d rejected their work. The Jebra Bro writers, said to have the loyalty of black widow spiders, say that THEIR speech was fine and contained no copycat phrasing. Then, a Trump employee named Meredith McIver, identified as a ballerina who ghost-writes Donald’s “how to get rich like me” books, sent out a letter ‘fessin’ up that Melania contacted her to jump in and write the keynote speech.

And before anyone could untangle their legs from the twisted-up pretzeled plie of Melania’s debacle, the ballerina on the Trump team confessed that she did use some of Michelle Obama’s phrases.

I keep calling the ballerina “McGyver” instead of “McIver” because it was so easy for the dancer to use nothing but a pen, a paperclip and a piece of paper to totally blow things up in Melania’s face.

The New York Daily News outed Meredith as not just a ballerina, but a registered card-carrying “I’m With Her!” Democrat ballerina.

Now, that’s something to tie your tutu into a knot over!

Did She of the odious Chairman Mao pants suits strip the lovely Melania of her convention triumph? Or did the Never Evers, Jilted Jebra, Lyin’ Ted and Kasich 39 (or was it 44 electoral votes?!) and their hoards of infuriated harpies find a way to stab from Hell’s heart at the indefatigable Donald, whose unexpected and unparalleled populist victory thrust Jebra, Lyin’ Ted and Whasshisname firmly back into the GOP shadows?

Did they strike at Donald through beauteous Melania, whose speech was the opening act– the aria of the Trump Dynasty opera?

Melania’s beauty, her elegance and poise shone through her words, regardless of where they originated.

But there’s no doubt that the Republican Party was stunned when accusations that Melania had plagiarized her speech flooded the morning news networks.

CNN lost no time expressing fake-concern wondering whether Donald Trump would “fire” whomever the careless speech writer turned out to be.

Nobody expected that it would be a ballerina who’s a registered Democrat. The question many are wondering (but few are asking out loud) is whether the ballerina’s with Her– She Whose Name Should Not be Mentioned. Or Jebra. Or Kasich 44, who showed up to the convention staggering like a drunk uncle who refused to sit down and pass out discretely.

Or Lyin’ Ted, who pretty much dug his own grave and buried the rotting corpse of what was left of his political career just a few hours later when he was booed off the stage for failing to “honor the pledge.”

It’s no secret there’s a “Dump Trump” fringe within the Republican Party, a disgruntled mob that sought to eject Trump as the nominee, but failed.

So did the “Never Trump” crowd do to Melania what they could not do to Donald?

Melania’s a gorgeous woman, a true glamorpuss. She enhances Donald’s virility just by standing next to him. One doesn’t equate the elder Trumps with needing little blue pills and gazing at the sunset from separate his-and-her bathtubs overlooking the ocean.

And one doesn’t equate them with the obvious frigidity the Obamas routinely display, or the arctic temperatures between Hillary and her irascible out-of-control husband, Bill.

And while Secret Service agents publish books vividly describing Hillary assaulting her husband in White House bedrooms and leaving pillowcases wet with his blood, one doesn’t see Melania and Donald living that way.

They are one hot couple!

Who “from Hell’s heart” reached out and stabbed Melania?

Someone close.

The dancer...who’s a Democrat? Or someone else?

The British newspaper the Guardian reported: “A campaign source suggested...that the blame lay with Rick Gates, a longtime aide to top Trump strategist Paul Manafort. The source said Gates signed off on the speech and edited it.”

So, was the whole Melania speech debacle just a ballerina’s “whoopsie!” compounded by a big cheese not taking any time to review it?

Whatever it was, Donald Trump wants to move on and Make America Great Again!