A cutlass. Yes, I can think of some uses for a cutlass.

Sod talk like a pirate day, today is obviously Lemming Pedestrian day, a chance to leap off pavements regardless of what's going along the road.

Rye Lane is pretty bad for this on most days - you have to cycle in the middle of the road, or you don't stand a chance of missing them.

But today... I'm somewhat surprised I only hit one.

Two of them come out, from behind an illegally parked van - it clearly being crucial that they cross the road there, rather than at the two zebra crossings less than 100m away... or indeed say 10m away, where they can see what's coming and everyone can see them.

All the following happens in about two seconds.

I see them, and I can see they don't see me. Slow down.

But oops there's a noise of a vehicle behind, so stopping suddenly is probably a bad idea for me. Given the choice, I'd much rather it hit them, with me out of danger, than it hit me first.

[It turns out later that it was turning a corner another way, but there was no time to check that then.]

There's a big gap between them, so let's go through it.

Except the second one, who clearly has zero chance of making it across the road alive, looks, sees someone on a bike about to go in front of her... and decides to speed up. And the first one stops.

Ooops, the gap's going... still can't go behind the second... try to swing around in front of the first one, combined with Emergency Stop!

Thud.

The side of my mouth hits her head just as I come to a stop. Slow speed, but ow. She goes over, I go ow some more, bleeding.