If in the bar of your dreams every centimeter of wall (and ceiling) space is covered with banks of televisions flashing seizure-inducing commercials unblinkingly stared at by backwards-capped man-children guzzling plastic pitchers of thin macrobrew between failed attempts to scream over the top of deafening sports commentary, then you’re in luck because there are still about 2,000 places that fit that bill in Hollywood alone. If you enjoy waiting 45 minutes for a man dressed as a 19th centuryCanadian lumberjack to rub a mason jar with the entire contents of a spice rack then you're similarly set.

Ooohhh, Ladyboys!

On the other hand, if the happy haze of your drunken hour involves sitting in a cozy corner, enjoying a round of ladyboys and perhaps playing a game of darts (or pool, skittles, dominoes, cards, or trivia) -- then you’re going to have to either broaden your horizons or let your dream die because sadly, The Cat & Fiddle is closing on 15 December after 32 years in business -- and English pubs in the Southland are becoming rarer than rain during a superdrought.

Los Angeles is the mecca for music, a hotbed for food trucks, and home to some of the coolest micro breweries so a festival that showcases all three elements is a no brainer. With the rising popularity of health consciousness in Southern California, it's also no surprise that the Los Angeles Vegan Beer & Food Festival has quickly become a local favorite.

This year's fest marks the 5th annual event and it's getting bigger and bigger each year. Over 40 craft breweries and 35+ food trucks/restaurants will be on hand to fill up your cups and bellies. To enhance your taste-testing delights (and maybe burn a few calories from dancing) festival producers enlisted five of LA's coolest bands, including He's My Brother She's My Sister and Leftover Cuties. It's all going down Saturday, May 17 across from The Roxy (8950 W. Sunset Blvd) in West Hollywood.

Amoeba Hollywood is a proud sponsor of this amazing fest and we'll have Amoebites on hand to pass out some goodies!

This is San Francisco’s only indie rock beer festival and it's back at Public Works for a third year of great music and beer. Amoeba is thrilled that our favorites Mikal Cronin, Shannon and the Clams, Kelley Stoltz, Golden Void, French Cassettes, and Magic Fight are playing this beer-tastic event! And as if the rockin' tunes weren't enough, there is also unlimited local beer tasting from these great local breweries: 21st Amendment Brewery, Almanac Beer Company, Anchor Brewing, Beach Chalet Brewery & Restaurant, Cerveceria de MateVeza, Headlands Brewing Company, Magnolia Gastropub & Brewery, Pacific Brewing Laboratory, Pine Street Brewery, Pizza Orgasmica & Brewery, Speakeasy Ales & Lagers, ThirstyBear Brewing Company, and Triple Voodoo Brewing.!

This is a 21+ event (of course!) and goes from 12:30pm - 6:30pm. Get your tickets nowsville HERE!

I was awake early and enjoyed my morning coffee looking out over Puerto Vallarta, which was far more clean and money than our previous ports. It kind of looked like San Diego, but with less boring people.* There was even a Costco, which, in the context of the local language, I realized was male.

By this time I was having some World Wide Web withdrawals, and the only thing that kept me from utilizing the Internet lounge was the fee of $826,044 per millisecond they were charging. I realized how addicted I’ve become to researching any little thought that came into my head. Questions such as:

“What’s in gooseberry pie, anyway?” (Hint: not geese.)

“Exactly how many bands has Stephin Merritt been in?” (roughly 826,044)

hysteron proteron - n. inversion of natural order or sense, especially of words; fallacy of proving or explaining a proposition with one presupposing or dependent on it.

It’s been a couple of months since I photographed any of our arty 7 inch boxes, so here are some more examples of post outsider art-damaged modern adverts faux iconography from Amoeba Hollywood 45 Room brain trust.

Hysteron Proteron literally means “the latter before”, and the purpose is to call attention to the more important idea by placing it first. You might say it’s the rhetorical equivalent to "the last shall be first and the first, last". (Sort of reminds me of my old Catholic School Catechism lessons, which no matter how hard I try to obliterate, remains intact in my skull, an example once again of the inverse natural order of things. But the rewards last a lifetime … I mean eternal! The vague and twisted challenges of a post Irish Catholic childhood are the dented theological reflections or simple colorful profanities, available at a drop of a hat … and are never more than just a couple of pints away.)