SO THE OTHER DAY...

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SO THE OTHER DAY I DECIDED TO HUMBLY DONATE MY OLD UNDERWEAR WITH HOLES IN THEM TO ORPHAN CHILDREN TO TRY TO GET THEM INTO BODYBUILDING SINCE IM RIPPED AS FUCK AND LOVE CHILDREN. ALL OF A SUDDEN I HEAR A NOISE OUTSIDE, SO I LOOK OUT THE WINDOW AND SEE A KID ON A TRICYCLE CRYING BECAUSE HE LOST HIS PARENTS, SO I ASKED HIM WHERE HE LIVES AND JUST AS HE OPENS HIS MOUTH I INSTANTLY SLAY HIM BECAUSE RIDING A BIKE AROUND AN ALPHA MALE IS STRAIGHT DISRESPECT BECAUSE IM WAY MORE ATHLETIC AND JACKED THAN HIM. SO I LIGHT UP A CIG LIKE A BADASS AND START EATING THE KIDS REMAINS CUZ I NEED AT LEAST 265 GRAMS OF PROTEIN A DAY TO SUSTAIN THIS MUSCLE OASIS. ALL OF A SUDDEN I HEAR THE KIDS PREGNANT MOTHER CRYING BEHIND ME FOR SOME REASON AND I GOT PISSED AS FUCK BECAUSE SHE BARES THE CUB OF A LESSER STAG THAN ME SO I WALK UP TO HER, SLICE OPEN HER STOMACH AS THE PREMATURE BLOODY FETUS FLOPS ON THE GROUND AND SHOUT "ITS A GIRL" JUST BEFORE I CRUCIFY THEM. THEN I RUN OVER TO MY LAMBORGUINI MURCIALAGO, DROP THE TOP DOWN, THROW MY SUNGLASSES ON AND DO A BURNOUTS WITH MY SWEAT AND BLOOD COVERED PECS GLISTENING IN THE SUN LOOKING LIKE A SHROD TO SHIT GANGBANGER AS I PEEL OUT TOWARDS THE SUNSET TO COLLECT MY CERTIFICATE IN PERFORMING ABORTIONS. HUMBLE AS FUCK BRUH