Brendan Beary: Deck The Hols

Amanda snorkels some Australian bay,And Peter's in the north Norwegian fjords.I'm here at work to cope as best I mayWhile managers beat plowshares into swords.See Jamaica! Tour Japan!It just seems to run to plan:When the office is near empty is when shit will hit the fan.

While Henry vacillates in Montreal,And Susan's churlish on a Naxos beach,I'm here to field a trustee's panicked call,Since I'm one of the few that she can reach.I can still hold down the fortThough our staffing's caught out short;I don't need their histrionics for the auditors' report.

In Rome, there's whole new staffs Dean can berate;Wherever Cathy's whingeing, it's not here.With all these people absent, work's been great --A pity August comes just once a year.Go, enjoy your holiday – If you can, extend your stay,For they also serve, it seems, who only stand out of the way!