loosing

I was feeling empty, afraid and emotional overwhelmed.

I remember feeling a free flowing energy when this photo was taken. I was ready for days of light, warmth and happiness. If I had known that the following week would be the hardest that I and my loved ones had ever experienced in life. If I had known what devastating incidents that would occur. I would have felt threatened, unsafe and afraid of the harm of all my loved ones. I would have tried with all of my cell's power to prevent the surreal to happen - the sorrows and the powerlessness. But I didn't know and we couldn't prevent life and death from happening. So we searched for strength and comfort in order to pull our living selves away from the tragedy and into love and awakefullness for the sake of carrying your transient being beyond. I would have handled it better when the darkness and the reactions entered our lifes by embracing it with the light you came with and by being wise in my response to what was waiting. Still healing. I wish you could have felt the growth of love when our heartbeats started to synchronize - what is too heavy was carried in the moment and those after. Did you feel it? Even from the distance? It was beautiful and a clean vision of unity. You are now a condition of our life and when in need I'll keep syncing with this core rhythm for its guidance. If I had really known the depth of the meaning of the exact rhythm marked on my left arm. Closest to my heart. I would have been terrified of life and what it brings. But now that we met your purest you I feel different. I was given the chance to and I was taught to love whole-heartedly and unconditionally. I want to invite you to be part of this love. It's safe and in this way you will forever be. I'm sharing this with you to heal and to love in a higher state of being.

This is a part of my intimate conversation with myself. With the words and guidance of a dear friend of mine.