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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Usually the goods in a shop window are supposed to be, well, good. But with advertising like this, who needs competition?

Between the faded-out colors and crumbled who-knows-what littering her face, Tyra has seen better days.

I can see why the construction crew was called in: this cake-tastrophe not only split the earth asunder, it also rained cigarette ash from the sky. Nice blue border though. Er, why is that there again?

Nah, these aren't Wrecks. They're actually kind of cool, in a bizarre way - so I thought I'd share. The green prickly one in particular fascinates me.

Bummer.

What in the Sam hill is going on here?!? Is that supposed to be Barbie's skirt? Because it looks like some massive icing eruption, with her shooting out of the top like a human cannon ball.

And speaking of eruptions and cannon balls, I hope I don't get in too much trouble for posting these next, honorary "cake" Wrecks:

Really, these have got to be the least phallic looking phalli I've ever seen - so if your kids ask, they're little rocket ships, mkay? Just ignore that little sign. Check out the sweet display setup, too: that yellow plastic bucket is totally selling 'em. And what do you suppose that crumbly bread-ish looking thing is next to it? Wait, scratch that; I don't want to know.

No lie, I had a cake like that Barbie one, only my mom used a brunette Barbie knock-off instead (in her defense, I'm a brunette too and it was my 6th birthday) - it was pink, and the cake WAS the skirt. Pretty lady took a header about 3 slices into it.

lawl. too funny. I shot a wedding on Saturday and the grooms cake said.. "Congratulations "Grooms Name"" Hahahaha. I was like.. inappropriate quotation marks! I thought of Cake Wrecks immediately. I would send it in but you know.. being a client and all, I decided against it. :) So just imagine it for me. :P

Not even going to comment on the pink and yellow willies, LOL! I think I would have cried after making all those icing roses just to have them melt, but certainly wouldn't have displayed it to the whole world >.> And why is it always green? I mean, the rest of the cakes in that display ate beautiful, but the green ones? Who wants to eat cake the color of mold?

The question is, why are some of those still on display? I mean the point of displays is to lure people into the store so they buy things, if I saw a cracked cake in the window, I'd just walk on by. Your best is supposed to be in those displays.

On the non-wreck picture, I love the white edged roses, on the purple cake top center. Those look fantastic.

I've seen those Barbie cakes before. In fact, I coveted one when I was...ooohhh, about eight. Then again, I never saw one that made me think she was sinking in frosted quicksand before.

Yes, you see shot from a rocket, but I see her going down waiting futilly for Ken to work out how to save her.

I'm morbid that way.

And I guess only men can take pride in their gayness. Where were the little chocolate-dipped vaginas on their separate tin cookie sheet? Would they have gotten their own bucket? Would it have been purple?

Then again, looking at what they did for the boys, I suppose it's a mercy they didn't get all equal opportunity on us.

I had that Barbie cake for my 5th birthday in 1984. Glad to see it made it beyond my little town. To a 5 year old girl it's the best thing. It's massive dress of cake & frosting then when the cake is gone you have a new doll to dress. very sweet.

LOVE IT!! Found you through Blogs of Note and just added you to my favorites. I have cake wrecks at home all the time (currently have one posted) it's nice to see even professionals make big ass mistakes!LOVE IT!Timi

Anyone else see Jackass II? Bam Margera was "branded" with just that cookie cutter!

*crickets chirping*

You mean I am the only person who can admit to watching the Jackass movies? LOL

I am going to order a birthday cake for my daughter's 25th day. I'm getting old. I have everything written out and even printed out patterns for the bakery to follow. It is a very reputable bakery, but I just might have to threaten them with popping up on CakeWrecks if they don't do a good job. I believe everyone who works in that bakery is English-speaking anyway.

I absolutely love the look of those green cakes in the window! they look.... idk modern and cute haha. As for the little willies on display. If they are going to make penis cookies for gay pride can't they at least make them bigger? lol. Barbie cake haha. My friend had one when we were little and i remember i thought barbie was part of the cake and tried to eat her head lol.

My grandma made me a doll cake like the Barbie cake. I was a total tomboy and when she cut it open and I saw it was red velvet cake I thought the doll had bled to death or something. I was horrified... Looking back it was pretty funny.

The Barbie cake made me think of one of those crocheted thingies that grannies put over the spare roll of toilet paper. That association makes it almost as bad as the penis cookies. But not quite; nothing is as bad as those.

I can't help but wonder what the thought process was for the baker who decided to display the cake with the flowers sliding off...

"Well, the cake does look pretty wrecktacular because of the slip-sliding decorations, but that IS my best flower work to date. Maybe my potential buyers will be willing to look past the fact that the a/c in my display case is on the fritz."

Unless, the avalanche look was intentional - in which case, that is so wrecktastic!

OMG! I have to take a picture of Barbie cakes next time I go by this one big bakery that has similar samples in their window. They're really wrecktastic, but I never thought that they could and should be posted here.

the, um, anatomical one is hilarious, I especially enjoyed the multi- cultural aspect. My 3 year old daughter saw this and said, look mama, poops!No honey, other side.Susanwww.theaccidentalmommy.blogspot.com

LOL – wasn’t there once a kind of Barbie that came with cans of pastel-colored mousse to make her an ‘outfit’? I seem to remember seeing the TV commercials for that when I was a little kid. The end result looked pretty much like that awful cake.

Having lived in China, I agree with saxon, those middle cakes look very Chinese! I think they're just lovely. On the off-chance that bakery is in the US, could you please tell me how (or give a hint) to find it? Seriously, I'm in love with those cakes!And as for the green color, if the Hawaiian poster was right and it's because they're green-tea-flavored... I want the recipe! Green tea ice cream is amazing... I can only imagine how rad the cake version would be.PLEASE somebody help me find these cakes!

Hey! I actually had a Barbie cake for my 4th birthday (that was 36 years ago). We had to go to out of state to get it. I lived in a tiny town in North Dakota and had to cross the border into a tiny town in Minnesota to get it from one of the "Most Decorated" cake bakers this side of the Mason Dixon.

wow im on a roll with actually having some of the cakes you have posted, but actually done WELL.i had a sweeet barbie cake as a child (thanks mom), and lucky for me the dress didnt look like a volcano about to erupt.mom was quite the creative one when i was a child. i also had a big bird cake, find any bad ones of those?

I recognize the "FE" logo on the sign next to the Barbie cake--it stands for Food Emporium, a supermarket chain here in NY that is currently trying to position itself as upscale. I've seen that particular style of cake at the location near my apartment.

I think doll dress cakes may be pretty popular in the NY area; I had one when I was a kid, but it was executed much better.

I'm pretty sure the crumbling thing beside the gay pride cakes is a bread animal of some sort. My high school girlfriend's family had a tradition of making them, and a bakery in town here has a few on display.

For some reason, displayed bread animals seem to stay in the window for months... if not years. And they get crumbly and unappetising. I suspect they're more art than food.

(As for the gay pride cakes, of course they're for eating. So are the chocolate wangs, lollipop vulvas, etc, etc. It's just not weird to eat effigies of what you "eat" usually.)

The bread thing next to the penis-cakes looks like the tail/back end (the little lump sticking out on the top side is a foot, I think) of a loaf of bread baked in the shape of a lizard...I know it sounds strange, but when I went to Egypt, the boat we were on would sometimes have them displayed with dinner, and they were actually very nice and creative looking.

The Barbie cake is not only made by the professionals! My sister (who could be a professional)allowed my then four year old niece to choose which cake to make my dad for his birthday. The winner? A pink Barbie cake.

I'm sure if anyone has mentioned this yet but i recognize the crumbly bread thing in the corner of the photo of the willy cakes.

it looks like a broken bread gator's tail. Which is exactly what it sounds like. A loaf of bread baked in the shape of an alligator.They also make other animals like hedgehogs and lobsters. Often, raisins are used for eyes. Pretty creepy in my opinion.

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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