Obviously this is Isle Esme and we all love those chapters in Breaking Dawn, but in the words of Lauren from Lauren’s Bite, this is just “sicknast”

It’s one thing if it was just Bella & Edward, but those are clearly Rob & Kristen’s faces (and, oh! I’m just so 2nd-hand embarrassed!)

Why is Edward silver?

This reminds me of my Grandma chalk art ministry. Except instead of illustrating sex, she would hide something about Jesus in the clouds. Then she’d turn on a black light and wha-la! Jesus would appear. What appears when you turn your black light on? A large vampire erecti bite?

Why did you give Bella such beautiful, large breasts? Stephenie was so clear that everything about Bella is “average”

Where and WHY was this ever made?

Were you planning on hanging it in your house? Did you hope it would be curated next to the Mona Lisa?

Extremely Embarrassed,
UnintendedChoice

I honestly have no idea where I found this. If you’re the artist and want me to credit you (and why would you admit to that), please let me know!

OMG.. remind me never to google “Isle Esme” again! It keeps getting worse! See all the embarrassment after the cut:

Hm.. Friday Night, what should I do? Oh, I know! I'll make an Isle Esme wreath and sell it on Ebay for $30

Allright- I'm ready to head out. Do you think I'll get laid with nails like this?

Upon further study of said “piece”, Bella seems to look more like Rachel Leigh Cook than Kristen Stewart. Do you think Rachel is using a “wish fulfillment” technique to subdue that “special feeling” she might be having towards Robert?

Now I’m sufficiently weirded out because for years when Rachel Leigh Cook was more prevalant in movies people said she looked like my sister. I never saw it, but as recently as last Fall a friend who’s never even met my sister saw her wedding pic and told me she looked like RLC.

Eeeewwww! What makes me sad is the productive time wasted, the fact that this person is PROUD of the piece and knowing that it REALLY is most likely hanging in the living room of some house, somewhere.

Pattinson Pants lady? Was this you again? Srsly going to need you to stop now! (But really, I don’t want you too or the whole 2nd hand embarrassed section would blow!)

yea.. me too. i mean thought to draw the girl’s curves but not guy’s legs. Im sorry I cant call them Edward and Bella.

*****

google should have 2nd hand embarassment filter so that everything we just saw a moment ago would never exist in future. Or have different section named find 2nd hand embarassment souvenirs of Isle Esme so that LTR girls could find this stuff more easily to make 2nd hand embarassment letters dedicated to those who have created them.

Girls, I dont claim any creative process in the above pictures. But I do appauled you to be so brave and post this. Im sorry.

Dear crazy that had enough time to do the wreath AND try to sell it on ebay:
I am BEYOND 2nd-hand embarassed….why don’t you invest that time on something useful for man kind like I don’t know…sterilization or something. Anyway think about it.
XOXO
Me

hahahahaa omg hahahhaa. i mean its a really nice painting, they did a good job, but it’s creepy beyond all reason. who would sit down and say “i think im going to paint a naked rob and kristen gettin it on on isle esme!”

that is so great, I love the second hand embarrassed stuff!
here is some more info on this wonderful creation thanks to the artist deviant art.

Artist’s Comments
Edward and Bella on Esme Isle
By (i wont post her name) because I am sure at this point she is embarrassed

“This is my Latest painting depicting “Breaking Dawn” from the “Twilight” book series by Stephenie Meyer.

This piece is painted in Photoshop CS3 WITHOUT a Wacom tablet. I used a standard optical mouse.
Twilight movie posters were used as a visual reference to achieve the likeness in each character’s face, but this is NOT a photo-manipulation.”

Your Grandma has a chalk ministry? haha The only thing hidden in them clouds is the artists’ dignity and I can’t seem to find that even with a black light on.
Upon further inspection of this “painting” I have noticed

Edward looks totally uninterested.. no guy would be making that face when a girl with boobs as nice as bella’s in this painting was laying on top of him.

When I turned on my black light “he has risen” was written in the clouds… but I’m pretty sure it wasnt a reference to the Savior.

Finally I would give anything to have those fake bella boobs… seriously perfect… I assumed that a girl did this painting but the boobs makes me think a unicorn was involved…

I can’t stop staring at it, either. Seriously. It’s so bad… and I think I want it. It’s one of those things I would hang up in the house just to witness the horrified looks of my guests when they first catch a glimpse of it. In my quest of ‘all things uncomfortable’, I must say, that painting is definitely in the top 5.

Can I just say that I think you should srsly consider this fine artist for the artistic rendering of you (UC, Moon and Rob) on the unicorn previously mentioned? Because CLEARLY, this individual can adequately depict the ‘feel’ you may be going for. No?