I get tired of being the one whose blood is constantly sucked by vampires. And I am not talking about actual blood so much as money I need to live. Every time I turn around another corporate vampire is sticking a fang or a needle into my bank account to exsanguinate it more. I owe more money than I can pay to the IRS. I owe a huge gob of money to hospitals for the last two hospitalizations that struck my family. And these are blood suckings that occurred after I went bankrupt at the end of 2017. Why do I have these woes from things sucking on my neck? Well, one thing that is staring me right in the face is how the current government, run by Republicans, is enabling corporate vampires who pump the economic blood out of middle class and working poor people like me and feed it into the gaping bloody maws of ever-engorging CEO’s, fatbat investors, and wealthy one-percenters.

You are not going to believe this, but I found an article that says Mitch McConnell is directly descended from Dracula. You can see it for yourself at this link. So let me expand on this with a list of dire predictions for our economic health and wellbeing generated from my blood-deprived pessimist’s brain.

Even though it looks like the Trumpula Administration is about to implode from chaos overload due to porn stars and betrayals by lawyers, it is a very long-lived undead thing and will continue to survive.

Republicans will continue to suck trillions of dollars of our economic blood because they will win in a large way due to legal gerrymandering, voter suppression, and Russian assistance by hacking. The minions of the vampire lords are many. And at least a third of the American population is zombified to the point that no evil act committed by Trumpula will make them vote against him.

Midwestern farmers will all be driven out of business by Trumpula’s tariffs and trade wars with all their most important market countries.

The bread basket of the world will be turned into a toxic goo factory by Monsanto (noted vampire brand for GMO-based mind-controlling food substitutes).

We will all become mindless zombies and happily vote Trumpula into the presidency for life in 2020.

And then the whole world will gradually cook itself through un-combatted global warming into a lifeless orb fit only for the undead.

So there you have my rosy outlook on not only my economic future but that of everybody who is not currently a billionaire blood-sucking corporate vampire. I say “rosy” only because red is the color of blood which is draining away from my bank account at this very moment. I know it is an over-exaggerated conspiracy theory worthy of Alex Jones at his top-of-the-lungs shoutiest, but if Trumpula could become president, then any possible horror show could soon be coming to life.