IVascus sizes up his opponents, and tosses a banana peel onto the floor between them. He then proceeds to slip on the banana peel, and using the momentum from his slip, fly into the air and land sword-first into the soldier on top of the carriage.

IVascus gets an easy success (5 vs 1) on his Acrobatic Feat, banana-peel surfing up to the wagon and somersaulting up towards the roof. (We rule that because the Vladtroops rolled a 1, the banana peel koincidentally lands under the feet of the ground troop.)

Banzai! This was a difficult photograph to capture.

IVascus nails the attack roll and gets a questionable momentum bonus for damage. The Vladtroop never had a chance.

MasterEcabob wrote:Stalin will rip the rocket engine off of the carriage wheel and attach it to has barrel along with the giant boulder. Then he fires off the rocket at the carriage, utterly destroying it.

Once again, rockets are more Khrushchev than Stalin, so they don't really fit into his Cliche for Feats of Strength. Angered by this, Stalin decides to pick up a boulder and do things the old-fashioned way.

Super strength means double range and double damage for throws! Unfortunately a roll like this on a range of 2d6-2 is still only 1".

The surviving Vladtroop rushes forward to attack Stalin, not realizing the banana peel is still under his feet. Splat!

END OF TURN SUMMARY, IVHORSEMAN AND MASTERECABOB:IVascus and Stalin are doing pretty good; the wagon they're trying to steal remains undamaged, and the sole surviving Vladtroop is lying Disrupted on his face. Ready for Turn 2 orders!

IVascus charges the Vladtron troops. As they lower their halberds to skewer him, he uses his Agility to backflip off the horse and land behind the Vladtrons and decapitates one of them with his sword. In the meantime, he orders his horse to maim the other Vladtron if it survives. "Betsy, ATTAAAAACK!"

IVascus:
IV is awoken from his boredom induced daydream by a very rude horse devouring his delicious mid-afternoon snack. "hey! That's my lunch, you twat!" IVascus pummels the horse in the jaw with his fish. IVascus then jumps off his steed and drop-kicks "bucket-head" in the face.

Have IVascus toss his fish aside and ride his trusty steed across the battlefield and straight onto the trapped Vladtroop (hopefully squishing him).

If he succeeds and has the other Vladtroop in his line of sight, have IVascus angrily throw his banana at him. Call out to the Piltogg monkey if it hasn't already noticed the banana.

If he succeeds but cannot see the other Vladtroop, have him dismount and pick up the Sparkly Purple Wizard of Yendor's Sparkly Purple Wand (with the intent that he will give it to Dogdu later). He should be waiting just inside the wagon preparing to counter an aerial attack.

If the trapped troop survives, IVascus will show the banana to the Piltogg monkey. Once he has it's attention, IVascus will shove the banana into the mouth of the trapped Vladtroop and prepare to counter an attack from the troop on top of the wagon.

IVascus silently bleeds to death after receiving an axe in the face. If he were able he would be annoyed but perhaps being dead isn't so bad since it no longer concerns him... *sigh!* Stupid Monty Python lied about the fish slapping. I should have shot the Valdtroop with the banana, d'uh!

Stalin will use the power of Contractual Immortality to get back up. He will then pick up the Vladtroop and slam him head down into the ground.
He will then rip off the door and beat the everlovingshit out of the second Vladtroop.

Last edited by Moronstudios on Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

While blinded IVascus thinks things must be going very well!
I can hear a wagon wheel being ripped from the cart despite our need to capture it. Then a large boulder crashes into something and armor is pierced and death screams like a little girl. Awesome!

benkim123 wrote:IVascus will jump on the tree and cut it down. The tree will fall down near the horse. The horse will be scared and it will start sprinting. The Vladron soldier who is next to the cart will be squidhed and the other one will fall down because he will be surprised and he has no place to hang on like Bonn-o-Tron.

IVascus leaps into the tree with a flourish and whacks it with his sword. Clang! 9 damage to 9 armor means the tree is unharmed.

muffinman42 wrote:stalin throws the barrel off the battle field so he can use his hands to try to strangle a vladtron, the barrel hits a dungan on the head makeing it angry, it gets it's tribe ready to attack along with a group of dimmies, they then charge into the battle field!

Stalin tosses the barrel off the right side of the battlefield and rushes up to choke the Vladtroop. Making a double-strength Push attack against the Vladtroop's throat, Santis causes 4 points of Smash damage by crushing him against the wagon wall. 4 points against 4 armor is not quite enough to kill the Vladtroop - but then his head catches on fire from the torch. Dead!

The roof trooper fires the catapult at IVascus's tree, and for the first time ever, hits his target!

The relatively weak explosion is not enough to kill IVascus but it does blow up his tree and his horse's face. IVascus's acrobatic skills mean he has no trouble maintaining his balance as the treetop flips about.

END OF TURN SUMMARY, BENKIM123 AND MUFFINMAN42:The jellybeans are down one horse and one tree, but they're up one flaming Vladtrooper corpse. Ready for Turn 2 orders!