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Day 1. Self Forgiveness on Accepting a Subconscious and Unconscious Mind

Today I watched an episode of Stargate Atlantis. In the episode, one of the characters gets trapped in a small spaceship underwater, and has limited time in which he can be rescued.
A little while into his ordeal, he starts hallucinating that a colleague of his is down there with him, and this colleague starts giving him advice. The main character realizes this hallucination is based on his subconscious memories, and that it was the stress of his situation that brought on the hallucination.

Within this scenario, what I found interesting was that this person realizes that his own subconscious mind is projecting this person constructed of his own thoughts and memories about another person, but simply accepts it as quite a 'normal' thing to happen in his situation. In fact, within psychology in this world in general, and with the average person, it is completely accepted that one simply has layers and dimensions of memories, thoughts, fears, desires, beliefs, 'hidden' within one's subconscious and unconscious mind, and that within certain scenarios / situations, these 'hidden' parts of one's mind may be triggered and 'come to the surface', even manifesting as hallucinations; for instance as in the episode of Stargate Atlantis where the character's hallucination was brought on by the 'need for a coping mechanism'.

So the point we're looking at within Humanity's very acceptance of the existence of a multi-leveled conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind structure within ourselves, is that the 'person' we experience ourselves as - as the participant in our world, only exists within the realm of the conscious mind, with our conscious thoughts and experiences. And, it is generally understood that our reactions, our feelings, our emotions, our desires, our fears, our anxieties, are all stemming from 'hidden' stuff layered deep within our subconscious and unconscious minds.

This is quite a strange thing to accept, because when you look at the design that is being accepted, it is a design in which the 'person' we define ourselves as and experience ourselves as, as the participant in our world, is actually being created by, and controlled by 'hidden' stuff within our subconscious and unconscious minds, and that we are in fact not aware of who we actually are in totality - as the totality of what exists in our conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind. We are in fact accepting that we do not 'know ourselves' -- and yet we still tell ourselves that we 'know who we are'. Also within accepting the existence of ourselves to be separated and layered into a conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind, where our subconscious and unconscious is 'hidden' from us apparently, we can't really say that we are responsible beings - we can't really say that we are taking responsibility for this world, for each other - because we tell ourselves we are not even responsible for the totality of what exists in our own minds!

So, here follows Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective statements flowing from these realizations that will assist in understanding what it means to begin to know ourselves, what it means to begin taking responsibility for who we are, what it means to begin stopping the separation of ourselves from ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept it as 'normal' for myself to exist separated into multiple layers and dimensions of mind as:
1. The conscious mind which I've defined as the only 'realm' of mind / myself that I experience and see and can be aware of.
2. The subconscious and unconscious mind as 'realms' of mind / parts of myself that are 'hidden' from me.

Within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize the absolute absurdity of calling it 'normal' to accept myself to exist within and as a multi-layered mind structure in which parts of myself are 'hidden' from myself - because, if parts of me are 'hidden' from myself, how can I ever actually know myself or take responsibility for myself?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within accepting myself to exist with 'hidden' parts of myself layered into my subconscious and unconscious mind, allow and accept every other human being to also exist with parts of themselves 'hidden' into their subconscious and unconscious minds

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that in accepting and allowing myself to exist with hidden, secret parts of my self layered into my own subconscious and unconscious mind, I am accepting and allowing the existence of and act of keeping secrets - and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and see that in accepting myself and all of humanity to have hidden, secret parts of ourselves - I accept and allow the existence of ignorance and unawareness both in me as the individual where I ignore my own subconscious and unconscious mind and focus only on that which immediately occupies my conscious mind, and consequently in the group as countries within which we ignore those without money who cannot participate in / occupy the same social level as those of us with money - the social level of entertainment, education, comfort, enjoyment - the social level filled with all the things that we can buy with money which occupy our conscious mind attention

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate all of what exists in my own subconscious and unconscious mind so that I can understand all of what is going on within myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate all of what exists in this world / what everyone is experiencing, leaving no person's life hidden or secret from my attention, so that I can understand what is going on within this world I am in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what I've been told, that 'not understanding everything of yourself is just human nature, it's just the way you're wired, you are not capable of understanding / being aware of everything that exists in and as your mind'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what I was told, that 'your mind is just a product of evolution, a feat of nature, and you just are who you are' - instead of realizing that within accepting such a statement I accept myself to be nothing but a preprogrammed robot

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept that the only way I can exist and participate in this world is as a preprogrammed robot that is 'just a product of evolution / nature' - and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that in everyone accepting themselves to exist as only a preprogrammed 'product of evolution', it becomes easy to simply not care about what is going on in this world, it becomes easy to say 'Im not responsible, because we're only human and this world is just a product of human nature that we can't change'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this world is here simply to keep me entertained in my conscious mind by triggering pleasant experiences of feelings, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept that the only way I can participate in this world is to just do what it takes to ensure that I always have a pleasant experience being stimulated in me - within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to actually investigate where my feelings are coming from, and how it is that such experiences are able to be 'triggered' in me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about the problems of the world and yet just keep accepting myself to exist within the starting point of occupying myself / entertaining myself in my conscious mind with thoughts, pictures, fantasies, desires, memories - wherein, the 'world' I am participating in is not actually the world that is here as Earth, within the consideration of everyone and everything that is here, but only the 'world of my conscious mind' - wherein I exist in a bubble

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that to actually live in a way that is best for all, a way where we are all supporting life as responsible beings who live in awareness and understanding of how the earth works, and how the interdependent relationships between human, animal, and plant work, we must get out of our mind reality bubble, and live equal and one with what is here as Earth - and that we can't live equal and one with what is here as Earth if we are not even equal and one with our own minds

Therefore I commit myself to standing equal and one with my own mind, through taking self responsibility to investigate my subconscious and unconscious mind - investigating where and how my conscious mind experiences / thoughts / pictures / feelings / emotions / reactions are being created, so that I can actually get to a point of understanding / knowing myself as the totality of who and what I currently exist as within my mind

I commit myself to stopping the division and separation of myself into and as hidden parts within my subconscious and unconscious mind, so that I can stand equal and one with myself, in self awareness of all the patterns that constitute my conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind

And I commit myself to walking with Self Forgiveness to, as I identify the patterns I am existing as within my mind, release myself from being defined by and directed by these patterns so that I can
decide for myself who and what I will be, and how I will live and participate in this world, and within this I commit myself to the only acceptable starting point / consideration of how to create myself, which is the starting point / consideration of what is best for all Life

I commit myself to actually being Here in this reality instead of being occupied in my conscious mind bubble, by dedicating myself to being aware of each Breath I take, within realizing the common sense of being here aware of each breath -- because, if I am not aware of each breath, here in reality, here on Earth where all humans, animals, and plants are breathing as well - then how can I live in awareness of what is best for all on Earth?

the blindness i subject my self to, does it not keep me sane?every concealed memory, uproots eventually.. but though the means of a masquerade. to be labeled as - a personality disorder; underlying trauma.

does this behavior not make life, livable? livable in a way that mimics the impressions of our past to know what to do in the present moment.

i am blind to myself, but spot the anguish of those around me. i do feel trapped in my own bubble of confusion,, uncertainty,, unknowing,, about who i am .

but i love and care for every human and non human.

how does it feel to know thy self?does it make life less painful inside?

I am starting to get it now. Like the more i read this and other things like this, i understand it more. at first it is frightening.. it is really painful. i cant explain yet why i cried when i read this the first time.

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About Me

My name is Matti Freeman and I am an artist, musician and researcher. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and I now live in Kauai, Hawaii.

Earlier in life I was not satisfied with the prescribed way life is lived in this world and so I was looking for something more. When I started studying the Desteni Principles my life changed forever, as with Desteni I found practical tools to give myself a purpose I can stand by no matter what: to participate in creating a Self, a World, an Existence where we are all Free and Equal as Life and no abuse exists.

That may sound like a daunting or impossible goal but it starts with bringing everything back to Self: If I can make my own mind and being a place where I always consider what is best for all and support others to do the same: then I am living my Utmost Potential in this life and I become a Piece of the Peace that Humanity will eventually become.

Enjoy as I share insights, Desteni life hacks, personal stories and more.