Question

Should I throw my own baby shower?

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My pregnancy has been great except for one silly little issue -- I have no one to throw a baby shower for me. My husband and I live far from our families, and I'm not that close to my female friends. My husband knows how sad I feel and has hinted at throwing the party himself. I have mostly male friends, so I wouldn't mind having a coed shower. But the thought of throwing my own shower makes me feel like a loser! What can I do?

Mom Answers

Sure do it yourself and don't feel like a loser! All you need is your husband to help and it shouldnt cost too much. Take pride in what you and your husband can acomplish together. If you make shower games to where they are fun, but the prizes will benefit you and the baby, you can't lose. I started to do mine by myself b/c I didn't know how a baby shower was supposed to work (I had no shame), but luckily my cousin was there to take over b/c I got overwhelmed by myself after spending $120 on prizes which don't even benefit me, some decorations, and plates w/ utensils b/c the baby's father wasn't helping at all. I figured I would just have a large baby registry b/c I knew my family would buy stuff, especially online at Walmart.com the shipping is free to a store near you. I invited about 40 people knowing alot wouldnt really show up, but at least they knew I was trying and who knows if your family sees you trying you never know who might pitch in.

omg omg omg, yes throw your own shower!! ignore the first comments you got. every new mom IS ENTITLED TO A SHOWER!!! IT'S NOT A GIFT!! IT'S A CELEBRATION!!! there's nothing wrong in throwing your own baby shower. it's not begging for gifts or saying that you can't afford your baby. i cannot believe some of you women that wrote those rude comments!! that's so horrible!! the gifts are for the baby!! don't listen to those women who are saying it's rude and tacky. i see nothing wrong with it. i'm throwing my shower to celebrate my son's arrival, not to beg for presents. and NO ONE has the right to say that you're irresponsible and don't deserve to be a parent if you're throwing your own shower. they just need to remove the sticks from their butts and realize that most traditions have gone out the window with the type writers. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SHOWER AND DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE NEGATIVE COMMENTS!!

i dont see how its greedy, just because your throwing a baby shower doesn't mean your asking for gifts. and maybe if someone is offended by it because they dont want to get a gift then their the ones thats greedy!

I hosted my own baby shower but I did an Alice and Wonderland theme and called it my son's "unbirthday" party. It was co-ed, we had an open bar, a buffet meal, and cake and ice cream.
My husband and I were married ten years before I became pregnant, and because the doctor had told me I was infertile we felt a real cause to celebrate together with our family and friends. I also hated the Idea of subjecting my friends to the usual annoying baby shower games. I didn't feel that it was right to put my friends through something like that when they had gone to great lengths to spend thier hard earned money on my baby.

(Part II) The fuss merely lyes in keeping with tradition. Many of the 'etiquette' gurus find it tacky to throw your own shower. We find it tackier to be registered somewhere (with everyone knowing you have picked all of your baby's gifts), pretend you don't know about a shower (when you probably gave the person throwing it a guest list) and act surprised when it happens. THAT is shameful. However, there is no shame in a mom or couple wanting to be prepared and going ahead with planning their own baby shower. If you would like to throw your own baby shower, you should do so. You will get what you want, invite who you want, decorate as you please and do it without faking one emotion. Hop on the bandwagon of new baby shower times. Best of luck and congratulations for taking this in your own hands and ensuring your baby has all he/she needs... close friends and family celebrating her soon-to-be-birth at a great party!

My personal opinion is that every baby should have a shower. Not for the gifts, but to celebrate it's coming. But, I know that lots of people don't agree. However, most people do agree that if the baby is of a different sex from your other child/ren, or if the spacing between them is large, you should have another shower. Now, I do think that someone else should throw the shower for you. But, if that isn't likely or possible, then by all means, throw your own. Just call it a "I'm having a baby celebration" and don't mention gifts or where you're registered. I'm sure that most of your guests will ask you if there is something you need/want or if you're registered somewhere when they RSVP. If they don't, well, you still get to celebrate the coming of your new child. And that's really what the shower is all about anyway.

For Nicole. You might want to consider registering at a few different places. When you register, they give you little announcement cards that simply say where you and baby are registered. You simply put one or two of them (one of each) into letters you send out announcing your pregnancy. Don't say anything about having a shower. You will get questions asking about one, and you simply tell them that you hadn't thought about it, or didn't know how to plan one since this is your first child. More than likely your friends and family will get together and have a shower for you, and if they don't, they know where you are registered, and what you need for baby. Even if you don't have a shower, people will want to buy you something, and this way, you are not asking for anything, simply making suggestions if questions should arise.

This is in reply to Melissa I totally agree with the throw the shower how you want it. Not to sound like a showerzilla but I have had 2 people offer to throw the shower for me but on condition I travel to where they live one is an hour away and the other is two hours away and this is my shower and they got upset when I declined they should come to me not me go to them plus everyone I know lives where I do so I wouldn't even know the other people who would be there. So I am having my sister-in-law throw the shower as my "hostess" but I'm actually planning the whole thing myself. I want a band (reggae for the babies heritage) and have a cashbar for the people who want to drink and people keep asking me why music and a bar and I ask them why not they said that I couldn't drink and my response has been so just because I can't drink it shouldn't be an option for everyone else and they really have no response for that. I say it's my shower I can do what I want have what I want

This is my first baby and My hubby and I are throwing our own shower. Our parents are helping but we are throwing it. I really wasnt sad about that at all. In fact in my area mostly everyone throws their own shower. WHO CARES LOL!!!

I didn't read everyones replies but here is my (FTM) opinion....
I don't see what the big fuss is about throwing your own baby shower. I mean, I know it's not traditional, but YOU are carrying this child and if YOU want to throw a baby shower for him/her, go for it! Especially since a lot of FTM's receive things they normally wouldn't get as gifts at their baby showers (cribs, strollers, etc for baby #1) I think it's important that you DO throw yourself one if you don't have any friends to do so for you. I posted a thread similar to this in my own birth club and a lot of women said that it was tacky that I wanted to be involved. Well, I say do what makes you happy. This is my first child and I think I have a right to be included in everything going on :)

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