Truth or Dare with Ryan Nemeth – It’s Not All Bad

Hi, I’m Ryan Nemeth. You might remember me as “Briley Pierce” the mouthy, know-it-all, former WWE Developmental Tag-Team Champion, or as “Grandma Dottie” the sexed-up octogenarian from @TheGoldenGals. As part of a creative installment plan for my crushing student loan payments, I’m now required to write a blog for PWMania.com. Enjoy.

“It’s Not All Bad”
Ryan Nemeth

Am I happy I was released? No. Of course not. Are you kidding? Nobody’s happy about getting fired. That’s insane. That’s not a thing. It’s just not. It’s completely 100% impossible to be happy about that. You’re “happy” you got fired? Really? Okay, let me ask you this: if you’re so happy you got fired then why didn’t you quit? Huh? Tell me. Seriously, can you explain that? Oh, you can’t? Because you’re lying? Yup, okay, got it.

I conclude: people who get fired and declare “I’m happy I got fired” aren’t telling the truth. They’re lying.

Am I, however, happy right now? Yes. Big time. I am incredibly happy. Since leaving WWE Developmental (FCW, NXT, WWEPC, HHH-XT, and whatever else it’s currently hash-tagged as in the scale-tippingly manic, dangerously positive and impossibly grateful tweets of the current Developmental roster members) I have done a lot. Like, really, a lot. I’ll explain…

I recently spent more time with my family in a few short weeks than I have in several years combined since first arriving at Rip Roger’s class at OVW to begin my formal training. Family time is hard to come by for a person in any level of the WWE, from top to bottom, so this was a really nice treat. Plus, visiting home also means being able to cruise around town in my mom’s sweet minivan. (“Any of you ladies need a ride? I have Kelly Clarkson and Roy Orbison CDs in here!”)

While visiting my home state, I wrestled in a ring with Tracy Smothers. Did you read that? Go back- make sure you saw that last sentence. I said I got to wrestle in a ring with Tracy Smothers. Yeah, that Tracy Smothers. Yep. Uh-huh. I’ve estimated the mathematical odds of me working with Tracy Smothers in NXT as somewhere between No F*%#ing Way and Absolutely F*%#ing Not.* (Those aren’t good odds.)

I’ve also been fortunate enough to work on comedy, acting and writing with some very close friends of mine, Nick McNeil, Trent? and Michael Hutter. You can see some of our work on www.youtube.com/FunnyDontMakeMoney. Whether one enjoys or abhors our comedic pieces, the point must be conceded: such artwork would simply not fly under the watchful (and curiously overprotective) eye of WWE.

Another benefit of being released is not having to go to practice every day. Yes, I realize that sentence sounds awful upon first glance. I’ll explain. While I certainly valued the daily tutelage of some of the business’s top minds such as Dr. Tom Prichard, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, and guest coaches such as Lance Storm, I would be misleading the reader if I claimed I didn’t love the rest and recuperation my body has been lucky enough to enjoy lately. Much like time spent with family, time spent healing the body is also hard to come by while working at any level in the WWE. See? It’s not all bad.

So, there are some benefits to being released. Freedom, rest, minivans… But! There’s no way to deny it: being forced to leave the company you literally dreamt of having the chance to work for…is an utter nightmare. Really. It sucks.

It sucks so bad.
So, so, so bad. So f*%#ing bad.

But life doesn’t have to end. And wrestling doesn’t have to end either**. I promise- things don’t “have to end” when you get fired. They simply have to change. They change dramatically, too. Like real dramatically. Like super-extra-crazy-dramatically. But I look at this dramatic change in a positive light. For instance, check out my PROS and CONS list:

CONS
No, I don’t get a weekly WWE paycheck anymore…

PROS
…but, yes, I do get to dress-up as an elderly woman with my best friends and crotch-chop and dry-hump salted deli meats shaped like wangs for Funny Don’t Make Money videos. I can do this any time I want. Really; whenever I feel like it. In fact, I might do it tonight. I’m already wearing
the wig. (I always wear it when I type. And once the wig is on, I mean, come on. Might as well.)
See? It’s not all bad.

FOOTNOTES:

*neither No F*%#ing Way nor Absolutely F*%# Not are actual numbers.

** I’m allowed to start a sentence with the word “And” because I have a Master’s Degree. Check the rulebook; I’m good.