We all like to think we are deeper than we are. We like to think we're engaged, politically and emotionally, that our love is pure and real things matter to us. We are so full of it. Especially when it comes to what we say we want in a partner. A new study by researcher Eli Finkel of Northwesten University shows that our stated preferences don’t predict to whom we’re attracted when we meet someone in the flesh. read more

I’ve always been a fan of the word “grab.” It’s close to “snatch” but it’s more softer and sounds less like you’re a thief in the night: “Grab me some apples when you pass the fruit stand?” “Can you grab some ice on your way over?” “Grab those refugees before the warlord returns!” Or, in this sex tip, which shy readers should avoid: “Baby, grab my ass.” read more

I’m so into pasta that if I’m at a restaurant and I can’t decide between two pasta entrees, I will order one as an appetizer and one as a main coarse. No, I will not ask the waiter if they have an appetizer size. I think that’s annoying (and I don’t want either of the pastas to feel inadequate). This habit of mine leaves me very sated, but hardly eager for a roll in the hay afterwards. I’m really not the best person to ask about sexy foods; however, my friends have some much better notions: read more

In Dating Rules From My Future Self, an upcoming web series, Shiri Appleby plays a 27-year-old woman who starts getting text messages from her future self. The messages warn her to take another look at her questionable boyfriend, and change her dating style before it’s too late. If I were receiving text messages from my future (hopefully married, happy) self, I wonder what they would look like. read more

Look away shy readers: this is a racy question I’m about to answer. If you’re kind, magnanimous, thoughtful and generous enough to give your guy a blowie, the very least he can do is picture you in his mind while he’s getting it, right? read more

Ever since I gave up magic, catching people’s attention has been a challenge. And many women express the same difficulty. You notice a guy, you want him to notice you, but how do you make that happen? The answer depends on the situation, obviously (do you know him through friends? Is he wearing a Black Lips tee shirt? Are you at a funeral?). My friends had some ideas of their own: read more

Whether you like porn, hate it or have mixed feelings, there’s potentially good news coming out of California: an AIDS activist group is circulating petitions asking voters to support a ballot measure that would force actors in pornography to use condoms during filming. Most of us don’t get our sexual inspiration from pornography, but the industry’s influence on sexual behavior is certainly there. If California demands that porn actors have to wear condoms, it has to be a good thing. read more

Nobody likes to play dentist. We'll play doctor and explorer, lion tamer and naughty student. I'm even up for the odd game of inquisition. But no one I know has ever gotten off on a game of pretend involving dentistry. This isn’t to say that we can't enjoy the occasional sensation of something prodding around in our mouths. It's called mouth play, and guys are into it. read more

Here’s the dilemma: everyone is so “over” New Year's Eve that talking about how over it we are has become cliché (not to mention dull). The only thing worse than discussing the aforementioned is talking about what to do on the night itself. Here I am. Stuck. So I deferred to my friends: if they could do anything they wanted to do on NYE, what would it be? read more

Dear Single John, I've been with my boyfriend for nine months. We love each other and I feel secure in our relationship. I want to learn more about where this relationship may be going, but money is inevitably going to be part of that. He's several years older than me and has a secure job as a tenured teacher. He's not rich, but he can keep track of his finances. I found a job six months ago after spending a year unemployed—I have a lot of catching up to do and had to move back in with my parents. He's seen me cry on my worst days and knows things are a long way from perfect, but knows I'm working hard to get back on track. Am I wrong to try to bring up this discussion when I'm still not sure how long it will be until I can breathe easier financially? read more

Ever wanted to share a status update with a few close friends—if he finally made a move; how he kisses; whether you finally fit into those jeans you bought when you were at that bachelorette in NYC—but felt it was too private for all of Facebook to read about? Some there’s Luluvise , a new social networking site for women, but only women, which allows you curate a clique of Facebook friends without letting anyone else know they weren’t invited. read more

So it's less than a week before Christmas, and Hanukkah has already started, and you still haven't gotten anything for your guy. At this point, anything will do; it doesn't need to be incredible personal, just highly functional, and somewhat awesome. Don’t worry, the following few gifts are guaranteed to please (or at least not to offend), and can be delivered immediately. read more

Even if your sex life is wonderful, and both you and your partner are orgasm proficient, there can still be some sexy issues. Like with the amount of foreplay he’s offering. The following tip is for upping his pregame abilities (not to lockout shy readers, but you may want to stay in the dressing room for this one). read more

Dear Single John, I enjoy humor, particularly stupid humor, and I use it to dilute serious questions that aren't so well received. So, when the guy I've been dating/exclusively banging for four months told me (after a week and a half of being "sick") that he thinks he has a yeast infection and so our usual friday sextastic slumber party would have to be rescheduled again, I asked if we could just have a cuddle night. I brought up that we haven't had our regular time together and I miss it/I'm horny. He didn't respond, so like two hours later I sent him a silly text message: [it involved itching, effing like bunnies and needing him like a bear needs honey]. No text back. Not even the next morning. I don't want to pester him so I haven't said anything more to him. Did I overstep? read more

Like most sex tips from an actual guy, this is not a sex tip for shy readers. It involves oral sex, and semen and perhaps a little parlor trick I like to call “the beguiling panther” (trust me, it’s disgusting once you know what it means), so if you’re not into this type of thing, please stop reading. If, on the other hand, you want to learn a super dirty and fun way to put a big, satisfied smile on your dude’s face, read on read more

As the holidays come closer, many of us are faced with a balancing act worthy of a Cirque du Soleil performer: when there’s a significant other in the picture, how do we manage between our family time, our holiday time, our bedroom time and our girlfriend time. It will be the source of at least a million—perhaps a billion—fights this season. To try to preemptively get some of my fellow men off the naughty list, I asked my friends, "What is the single worst thing a significant other makes you do over the holidays?” read more

On Monday, Durex released the results of a global study that looked at condom use among adults. Americans take greater risks than Mexicans, Canadians or Colombians when it comes to unprotected sex. read more

One of the great joys of childhood (along with spying—remember spying? You didn’t need a reason to spy, it was an end unto itself: “Wanna go spy?” Of course I do) was taking popular Christmas songs and replacing the lyrics with silly and occasionally bawdy lyrics. “Jingle Bells” became “Batman Smells,” and so on (take that, Batman). As we’ve grown into adults—or lusty man children, as the case may be—my friends and I still play this kind of game, but with our Christmas lists and activities that are more than just a little bawdy. Here they are, our x-rated X-mas lists: read more

Last week, two interesting statistics on young people and sexual activity using their phones appeared in the media. The Journal of Pediatrics printed a study showing that 10 percent of kids age 10-17 have received or sent a sexually suggestive images, only 1 percent have shared images that display explicit nudity. The study suggests a few things: 1. It’s probably a tiny minority of the kids doing all the sexting, and 2. The hoopla over teens sexting is exactly that, hoopla. Here at Glamour we’re only so interested in what kids are doing (cue Helen Lovejoy’s “Won’t someone please think of the children!"), but this study begs the question: What exactly constitutes a sext? read more