Sunday, December 7, 2008

Office Toy

I am ridiculously important. I type things and do the email and sometimes say things like "call of business", "integrated" and "cream AND sugar?".

With all this responsibility I have to have a vast array of tools at my fingertips. But all the staplers in the world can't compare to the most important piece of equipment - my office toy.

No, I don't mean that cute girl that sits three offices over - grow up, Reader. HR is reading this and they want to have a "talk" about your "behavior" involving "respect issues" and they don't approve of you saying, "that's not a Swingline in my pocket".

Currently, my office toy is one of those big binder clips. It isn't overly exciting but fits the needs of looking important while still being loud and annoying to co-workers - which, coincidentally, is my role in the office.

Past office toys have included - broken headphones, a Livestrong bracelet, a Gumby bendable action figure (not a doll) and one of those stress balls that looked exactly like a rock so I could throw to people and they would freak out that it was really heavy and then when they realized it was just foam would look really stupid.

But for every successful office toy there are mounds of failed objects. There was that highlighter back in June that always seemed to end up making my nose look really important and no one can forget the "Hole Punch Incident of '06". I guess office toys are a lot like bloggers, they are all over the office and very few of them work.

What is your office toy?

27 comments:

I have a variety of toys in my office: multicolored rubberband ball, one of those wands with sparkly stuff suspended in goo in it, a couple squeezy toys, a nerf ball. Hm, maybe this is why people keep dropping by.

My office toys change often - part of the ADD that comes along with being in PR, or at least, that's what I tell myself. Right now it's a disco duck - for those who aren't familiar: a small plastic duck with two metal sensors on the bottom that when lit up and placed in water will blink for hours.

I SO want one of those rock stress balls. That sounds like too much fun.

I use my DSLR camera as a toy to torture our secretary. It has a quick shutter speed, and last Friday I took 3 photos in rapid succession of her when she was yawning (she HATES it when I take her picture, so naturally I do it constantly), imported them to Photoshop, and made an animated .gif of the yawn. Yes, it was as awesome as it sounds.

Hahaha - I love this post! My favorite office toy (just one?!) is my stuffed, smiley face soccer ball. When you throw it on the ground, it sings Ole, Ole Ole Ole. Ole. Ole. What I love about it is that it's loud enough that, one by one, I hear doors close. Some louder than others. hahaha.

i have a bonefide red swingline stapeler that others love to steal because of office space. I have to inform them "this is my personal stapeler, not company owned" and then it becomes more of a joke. They are all haters.

The best toy is merriamwebster.com. Take notes. You look up words like asshole, dickhead, etc...and you have the computer "say it" in a really serious, professional tone, and leave them on peoples voicemails and try not to pee when you hear them get their voicemails.