‘American Horror Story: Roanoke’ Chapter 2

I didn’t know this year’s subtitle was ‘Selfish Child Endangerment’. Seriously. What the hell was Lee thinking? Having your characters comment on how ridiculous another characters actions does not rationalise it. And well she pays the price for it.

Picking up directly from last week, Shelby’s still lost in the woods. She comes across what appears to be a dirty shaman woman (Lady Gaga??) with Kathy Bates and her cult. They’ve caught a man on their land. They’ve tied him up on a stick over a fire. To complete the image they put a pig’s head over his and he promptly gets his bacon burnt. Ahhh. The Pig Man Cometh.

Then there’s the whole mess with Lee and her daughter. A daughter who has a penchant for imaginary friends and hiding. She’ll fit in nicely. Lee is supposed to be the rational strong character but the last two episodes have seriously undermined this. Forgetting her gun and then heading down a basement is one thing, but with all these events going on, how do you think “I’ll keep an eye on her.” makes her safe? Especially in a barely lit house with home invasions, dead animals, bloodied knives and the occasional toothy forecast? Plus the fact every time you leave her for a second she is gone?

Are these people insane….or delusional?

Cue some midnight pig squealing and Matt and Shelby venture into the woods armed with only a baseball bat. They find a rather porcine burning effigy. This convinces the police to give the couple 24/7 protection. Fat lot that’ll do. Next night, Matt sees two nurses kill an elderly patient in the living room. As you do. He calls in the cop, in the dark, I might add, to investigate. He finds nothing, but how could he when no one turned on any lights?

In the morning Matt and Shelby see a woman on the property edge, and as they go to investigate they stumble upon an abandoned cellar on the grounds. (Seriously? Have they bothered to look around this place at all?) Inside they find a tape of the same gentlemen (Denis O’Hare) from the Pig Man tape in the basement before. He lived in the house before them and conveniently explains the house’s past with those Murder Nurses. They were grade A psychopaths (hence their new nickname). They ran an elderly care home and killed their patients. They only took “care” of ones with names with first letters that could spell out ‘MURDER’. Nice gals, really.

They get back to house to find Lee has kidnapped her child after her husband took the kid because of the creepy things the kid was saying about her imaginary friend, Priscilla (“So much blood. She’ll kill me last.” Paging Dr. Phil.)

Eventually Shelby talks down Lee’s husband from pressing charges and all is well. That is until Flora (Lee’s daughter) goes missing in the woods.

❉ I like Kathy Bates’ accent in this. I can’t quite place it, but it’s better than the one she had in ‘Freakshow’.

❉ Still haven’t seen Evan Peters or Cheyenne Jackson yet. Presumably they are bearded members of Bates’ group – which I find hilarious in Jackson’s case.

❉ The Murder Nurses wrote the first letters of the names of their victims on the wall. They didn’t finish it, so it spells out ‘MURDE’….I think they missed a trick not naming one of the main cast something with a ‘R’. Obviously, they are alive in the interviews, but dammit, I’d like some tension.

❉ How in the hell did Lee spot Flora’s coat at the tippy top of what has to be the largest tree on the East Coast!!? When you search for a small child, you look towards the ground, not the tops of trees.

❉ I don’t know the child actor’s name who plays Flora but she is adorable and really quite a good little actress. Be a shame if that’s all we see of her.

❉ This is already starting to feel like a retread of Season 1, but with some trees and no Jessica Lange. I need that twist in the tale soon.

❉ I’m digging this serial feel to it. The episode directly picks up last weeks, but that does make the endings a bit abrupt.

❉ This week’s episode was 38 minutes long. Last week’s was 40. That’s unacceptable. The last two years have had hour plus long episodes. I feel a bit cheated in that regard. Especially since the plot has barely advanced.

It’s not nearly as scary as last week, and I’m already at my tipping point of “Why don’t they just leave!?” Apparently, keeping your life savings is more important than actually have said life. AHS has got to ramp it up soon.

❉ ‘American Horror Story: Roanoke’ airs in the US on Wednesdays at 10pm on FX, and in the UK on Fridays at 10pm on Fox UK.