10 best celebrity stories of the week

Dec. 9, 2011

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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A photo of the cover of the January/February issue of Playboy, featuring Lindsay Lohan wearing a come hither look, black pumps and not a whole lot else, has been leaked online. Page Six reports that TheInsider.com got the get. It may sound like a strategic leak, but Page Six asserts that Lohan was planning to unveil the cover on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” on Dec. 15. It's a good, wholesome cover image, with Lohan looking like the girl next door … without her clothes on. The “Herbie Fully Loaded” actress is straddling a chair, the back of which, in the shape of the Playboy bunny logo, conceals the parts you want to see. You have to pay for access to the parts. The issue should be on sale by late December, boys. Hugh Hefner has said that the Lohan photos were inspired by the famous nude photos of Marilyn Monroe that appeared in his magazine when he still had his own teeth. Dina Lohan, Lindsay's mother, told the Insider that the Playboy pictorial featuring her daughter is “tastefully done.” She must be so proud. Lohan was reportedly paid a million dollars, or close enough, to pose for the magazine. Photo by Daniele Venturelli/amfARmfw/Getty Images for amfAR; text by Timothy Mangan

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Charlie Sheen's ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, has been arrested in Aspen on suspicion of third-degree assault and cocaine possession with intent to distribute. Authorities say officers arrested Mueller early Saturday at a nightclub after a woman reported being assaulted by her. Mueller posted $11,000 bond and was released from custody. She's scheduled in court Dec. 19. Sheen and Mueller divorced earlier this year, citing Christmas Day 2009 as the day of their breakup. Charlie Sheen was arrested in Aspen on that day on suspicion of assaulting Mueller. TMZ reports that Sheen will take custody of their two children when Mueller returns from Aspen. Photo by Aspen Police Department via Getty Images; text by Timothy Mangan

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It feels like the 1990s all over again with Newt running for president, Billy hosting the Oscars and now this. Madonna (ask your grandparents, kids) will perform at halftime of the Super Bowl in Indianapolis. The NFL and NBC announced Sunday during the Detroit-New Orleans game that the Grammy Award-winning singer will highlight the show at Lucas Oil Stadium on Feb. 5. The show is the most-watched musical event of the year, with more than 100 million in the U.S. tuning in to see The Black Eyed Peas' performance with Slash and Usher in Dallas at halftime of Green Bay's Super Bowl win over Pittsburgh last February. Madonna will collaborate with a team from Cirque du Soleil, choreographer Jamie King, and artists from Moment Factory. "It's a huge deal, my God,” Madonna told Extra between swigs of Geritol. “To be as exciting as the football game is a huge challenge. And to get your stage set up in eight minutes, another huge challenge.” Madonna, currently in the studio working on a new album, has a new film “W.E.” which she directed, wrote, produced (and reportedly botched) and will open nationally two days before the NFL's signature event. (The Associated Press contributed to this report.) Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images; text by Timothy Mangan

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Larry King is determined that we'll never be rid of him. He says he wants to be frozen when he dies, People.com reports. The joke is that it would be “suspendered animation,” har, har. “I want to be frozen on the hope that they'll find whatever I died of and bring me back,” King says during “CNN Presents: A Larry King Special: Dinner with the Kings,” airing Sunday in all its odiferous splendor. The title itself makes us a little queasy. The guests at the din-din, including Russell Brand, Conan O'Brien, Tyra Banks and Seth MacFarlane, are “stunned” by King's bombshell, People reports. Guess they don't get out much. “This is big news,” O'Brien reportedly mutters, between forkfuls of peas. “You would like to be frozen? This is news to me,” he adds, anything for camera time. “It's the only hedging of a bet,” King replies, almost in English. Conversation among the greats: priceless. Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images; text by Timothy Mangan

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Christie Brinkley vows she'll immediately repay the $531,000 she owes in back taxes. New York's Daily News recently reported the Internal Revenue Service has filed a tax lien against the supermodel. Brinkley says in a statement the lien was a “result of an error” and pledges it will be paid in full by Wednesday. She says she's been focused on her parents, who are dealing with “serious health issues.” Brinkley says she regrets not paying more attention to her accounting. That happened to us once. We found half a million dollars we forgot about in the back pocket of some old jeans we hadn't worn in months, but shhhh, we didn't tell the government. (The Associated Press contributed to this report.) Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images; text by Timothy Mangan

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Poor Bradley Cooper. People magazine dubbed him “The Sexiest Man Alive” and it's been downhill ever since. He's a tortured soul. Cooper tells the BBC that he agrees with all the folks who said that Ryan Gosling deserved the “Sexiest” title, not him, Page Six reports. “Ryan and I were both in Paris this last week and a friend of mine showed me photographs from the paparazzi,” Cooper said. You can see where's this is going. “And it's like him walking around and he literally looks like he's in a photoshoot, like he just came off the runway ... and I literally look like the neighbor who never really comes out of his house, and when he does, you're like, ‘Maybe you should just stay in.'” Ever since winning the award, Cooper just knows he's not good enough. “I have a lot of moments where (I'm) walking out and I'll open up the door (and think), ‘I could do that a lot sexier.'” So, think again, gentlemen, the next time you pine for People's “Sexiest” title. It's hell. Photo by Stuart Wilson/Getty Images; text by Timothy Mangan

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American Airlines weighed in on the Alec Baldwin brouhaha Wednesday, using Facebook to explain its actions after the actor was kicked off a flight for playing a word game on his cell phone as the plane was about to depart from Los Angeles. It appears that Baldwin behaved like a celebrity. Without naming the “30 Rock” actor, the airline said on its Facebook page that an “extremely vocal customer” declined to turn off his phone when asked to do so by a flight attendant. The customer then stood up “with the seat belt light still on for departure” and took his phone into a restroom, the company said. “He slammed the lavatory door so hard, the cockpit crew heard it and became alarmed, even with the cockpit door closed,” the airline's post said. The passenger also was “extremely rude to the crew, calling them inappropriate names and using offensive language.” The actor's spokesman said that before being booted from the flight, Baldwin was playing a game called “Words with Friends” while the plane idled at a gate at Los Angeles International Airport. After the incident, Baldwin, a prolific Twitter user, took to the site to bloviate, saying a “flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing Words With Friends while we sat at the gate, not moving.” He also tweeted that the airline is “where Catholic school gym teachers from the 1950's find jobs as flight attendants.” (The Associated Press contributed to this report.) Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for People For The American Way Foundation; text by Timothy Mangan

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Those whacky “Mythbusters” have done it this time. They shot a cannonball where it wasn't supposed to go – through a Dublin, Calif., suburban home and into a parked minivan. Oops. Producers for the Discovery Channel show, hosted by Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, fired the cannonball for an episode Tuesday as they attempted to test whether other types of projectiles would pick up the same speed and have the same impact as the steel ball. Instead of hitting a string of water-filled garbage cans, the cannonball passed over the barrels, crashed straight through a protective cinderblock wall and careened off the hill behind it, said an Alameda County Sheriff's Department spokesman. From thence, it smashed through a house and into the minivan. "We are really, really grateful and glad that no one was hurt," Savage said. "Discovery is committed to making this right, and making sure that everything that has been damaged is as good or better as before this started." Sandler and Hyneman planned to go to the neighborhood to speak with those affected Wednesday, and had called a meeting with the production staff to try to understand what went wrong. (The Associated Press contributed to this report.) Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images; text by Timothy Mangan

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Forbes magazine, which is all about money, has published another of its patented lists, this one dubbed “Hollywood's Best Actors for the Buck.” Through a complicated series of calculations involving an actor's last three films, his or her compensation for said films, what the said films made and algorithms that would blind a NASA scientist, the Forbes folks came up with their rankings of stars who are worth it. Then, they made peanut butter and sardine sandwiches. Kristen Stewart, of “Twilight” fame, ranked Numero Uno. For each dollar she was paid, her films made a whopping $55.83. Her producers use it to light their cigars (while laughing like hyenas), keep mistresses and settle lawsuits. In ascending order of relative worthlessness (yes, that's right) compared to Stewart are Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattison, Daniel Radcliffe, Shia LaBeouf, Robert Downey Jr., Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, Meryl Streep and Johnny Depp, who returns $12.48 for every dollar he is paid. Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images; text by Timothy Mangan

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Things are looking up for Mel Gibson. He got a good review … from a judge. TMZ reports that Gibson made an appearance Friday in the court of Judge Stephanie Sautner, famed as the scourge of Lindsay Lohan, who was all sweetness and light in the presence of His Melness. Gibson has been a good boy. The hearing was a progress report on his battery case involving ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. He's apparently doubled the amount of counseling required and is making timely strides on his 12-step program, TMZ says. Gibson pled no contest on the battery charge in March and is on informal probation. Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images; text by Timothy Mangan

A photo of the cover of the January/February issue of Playboy, featuring Lindsay Lohan wearing a come hither look, black pumps and not a whole lot else, has been leaked online. Page Six reports that TheInsider.com got the get. It may sound like a strategic leak, but Page Six asserts that Lohan was planning to unveil the cover on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” on Dec. 15. It's a good, wholesome cover image, with Lohan looking like the girl next door … without her clothes on. The “Herbie Fully Loaded” actress is straddling a chair, the back of which, in the shape of the Playboy bunny logo, conceals the parts you want to see. You have to pay for access to the parts. The issue should be on sale by late December, boys. Hugh Hefner has said that the Lohan photos were inspired by the famous nude photos of Marilyn Monroe that appeared in his magazine when he still had his own teeth. Dina Lohan, Lindsay's mother, told the Insider that the Playboy pictorial featuring her daughter is “tastefully done.” She must be so proud. Lohan was reportedly paid a million dollars, or close enough, to pose for the magazine. Photo by Daniele Venturelli/amfARmfw/Getty Images for amfAR; text by Timothy Mangan

A healthy lunch and a power nap serve as brain fuelers for the task. Upon waking, the Ten Best are etched upon our consciousness, as if deemed by a higher power.

Once selected, the Ten Best are then thoroughly researched in and mined from our archives. Goggles and gloves are required during this part of the operation.

Through the wonders of modern technology, a slide show is then created. We make sure to put our moniker on said slide show so that we get credit for it, a small but crucial and job-saving aspect of the process, sometimes too little appreciated.

We then go to the bank and cash our paycheck. We'd say that we laugh all the way there, but it's really not that great of a paycheck.

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