Here are some photos from last night’s premiere of Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot. The film is based on a memoir of the same name by John Callahan, and Joaquin Phoenix plays the lead – a paralyzed alcoholic in recovery, who is also a cartoonist. The film also stars Joaquin’s real-life girlfriend Rooney Mara. Both Rooney and Joaquin walked the carpet, but they did so separately. They’re not here to “perform” their coupledom for the peasants! They’re one of those couples.

Honestly though, the idea and reality of Rooney and Joaquin together has really grown on me. Initially, I thought it was going to be a disaster, but now I think they totally humanize each other. He seems more domesticated now that he’s with Rooney, and she seems less “aloof.” They live in LA together and both are vegan environmentalist-types who do their own gardening and watch dark Netflix documentaries that Rooney chooses. I’d like to believe that they probably watch Vanderpump Rules “ironically” too, but who knows. Us Weekly says they’ll never get married though, because they’re too cool.

“They’re never going to get married because they think marriage is too mainstream,” reveals the source, adding that Mara, 33, has fully embraced her man’s unique way of life. “Joaquin transforms all his girlfriends into being holistic, vegan, spiritual and into saving the world,” the insider explains.

LOL, “too mainstream.” I imagine Rooney sitting there, wondering if she can still be “aloof” if she’s someone’s wife. These two, I swear.

Anyway, Rooney’s dress here is Givenchy. She really sticks to black dresses and occasionally ventures out to a beige/flesh-colored dress once in a blue moon. This Givenchy isn’t particularly good or bad. I’d like to imagine Rooney carefully setting out three black dresses on the bed and making Joaquin choose the one he liked best. Yes, I’m blaming this on Joaquin.

She’s exhausting. Anyone who has to work this hard to make themselves interesting to stay on brand – serious, all black, too intelligent for the little people- definitely is probably vacuous and boring. Hence, the refashioning of the brand because boyfriend wants to keep his options open. No, I don’t believe everyone needs to be married but their are who are great at making who want to get married give it up or wait it out.

I still can’t get over her makeover, even after all these years. She went from circle to hexagon in terms of manufactured edge and all for TGWTDT promo (google 2009/2010 Rooney for a shock). But, heck. Good luck to them. I’m sure Justin Theroux is raging that he didn’t have a chance with Rooney, because you bet it would have hit all the spots on his “Like a regular couple, but with edge” pinterest board.

When she smiles she, to me, resembles Laura Linney. I think it’s the dimples and similar chins. She has a really pretty smile, it’s a shame she hides it so much these days (at least on the red carpet).

Wow!! The dark hair washes her out, I wish she’d go back to auburn. And she did smile back in the day, but the smiles look tentative. She still had that tragi-twee, intellectual, Yale School of Drama thing, it seems. I guess GWTDT unlocked some gothic vibe in her that she liked and decided to keep. Maybe she’s always liked this look but only felt confident enough to dress that as she grew older. I’d say me at 25 was still a variation of how society expected me to dress, and me at 30 something is how I actually want to dress, and those two points didn’t always align. I’ve stopped caring about what others think I should wear as I get older, and just worn what I liked.

Yeah, they make sense to me. That part about “transforming” his girlfriends is interesting, and would fit her pattern. Wasn’t there all that weirdness about her as David Fincher’s muse? Seriously their joint interview was bizarre! I could see her being the type to “transform” herself for the “great artists”. Still…these two make sense.

I cannot take the sooooo “not mainstream “ part too seriously when he is about to play the 9 billionth version of the Joker and she was a finalist for the Felicity Jones role in Rogue One. Yep…nothing mainstream about Star Wars and comic book movies! 😏

I am so sick of women transforming themselves to fit into and be a reflection of their boyfriend’s/SO’s lives. Like when Jen tried to be all edgy to please Justin (although she did eventually come to her senses).