As we raise our children we think about what to teach them, how to teach them, and how to reinforce what we have taught them. But, how often do we stop and think about what we have learned as parents as we are guiding our children?

I conducted an interview on MyBlogU where I asked a few questions to get people to think beyond what we might concentrate on as parents…to take a look inside their selves. I received a great response with several honest and sincere answers. I had thought about only publishing a few of those answers per question, but then I thought better of it. I believe that these parents who took the time to ponder the questions and open their thoughts up to others all deserved to have their answers shared.

Here are the three questions I asked followed by everyone’s responses:

Being a parent taught me patienevery situation from someonce, and how to look at every situation from someone else’s viewpoint. A child’s viewpoint is a great way to look at anything because children are so impressionable that you are automatically careful, you make fewer assumptions and are more tolerant of others

Multi-tasking…. I don’t think I had been able to do SO MANY things at one time before I became mom… I mean my productivity has always been good but being a mom and working on your career and business – these two things at the same time bring your multi-tasking ability to tops. I remember I was writing an article while holding my daughter’s leg for her not to fall from the couch (she was under one year old then)…. Whoever is saying multitasking is bad has never been a working-from-home mom!

I learned to value time! It was a very surprising discovery: How little did I value my time! Those 10 minutes with a cup of coffee thinking of nothing… They used to be taken for granted! And now, being a mom, I don’t miss them (I LOVE being a busy mom) but I’ve learned to really appreciate those 10 minutes of doing nothing!

I was the youngest. My father, brother, and other male members of my extended family teased and badgered me unmercifully. By today’s standards, I was bullied and abused — both physically and mentally. The culture (Appalachian) and era saw it as “toughening me up.”

Malarkey.

Owing to that example, I often catch myself saying something flippant to my boys:

“Zeb, go whine to your Mama.”

“Zach, you are the laziest child I have ever seen.”

I hate it when I do that. My desire is to encourgage them, but it doesn’t always come out that way. I have learned to watch my tongue and strive to speak with love, rather than derision.

Well, this is quite interesting as question, because there are so many things that being a parent teach you that is quite impossible to cover everything, but I think that the first thing I learned is that we are all humans.

One of the things I have always expect from my father and mother, was to see them act always like the perfect parents, but this is not human.

We are the same person since we are kids and we still try to do our best every day, no matter what is the result.

I’ve learned that I do not want more children. I am the single mother of one and my daughter was not planned. Parenting is hard, stressful, sometimes (not literally) shitty work; especially when you’re doing it alone. One has to have all their marbles to be a parent without guilt and I for one am missing a few marbles from the bag.

Q. What is one thing that you learned from your own parents, guardians, grandparents that you now use as a successful parenting tool?

A. Chilly_Bang(Never act like own parents were acting, never forget how i was acting as i was a child)

I learned from my parents, that for succeful parenting i will always try to act on diametrically opposite art, as they were acting with me. And to become successful like parent i will always compare my parental doing with it of my own parents. i must say: it works like a charm;)

The most important thing I learned from my own parents was to have rules and to enforce those rules. Children want to know what the rules are in every situation, they want to know where the boundaries are so they can try to push them. My own rules are much more elastic than my parents’ ones, but they are only flexible up to a point.

“My kid is always right”… Don’t get me wrong: It’s not that she is always right AT home (she is spoilt enough but not THAT much)… but she has any conflict outside of it, I want her to know whe will always come home and see no opposition: I want to always be on HER side. I think knowing that is important. That’s how I was brought up!

My mom used to say “You’ll understand when you have kids of your own” and I tried to listen to her and really understand. I think that worked really well to saving us from the generation gap. That’s what’s now helping me as well: Sometimes we need to accept the fact that we are different but that doesn’t mean we cannot TRY to understand each other!

My heritage comes from hard working, honest-day’s-work-for-an-honest-day’s-pay folks. My father was the first to leave the homeplace (in the mountains of rural Virginia) to work a day job (as a coalminer). Here is a link to a recent interview about my Appalachian heritage. It was conducted by host, Sarah Campbell, on her Newfoundland radio show: Heritage.

From my family, I learned the value and dignity of manual labor. I hope to pass that knowledge on to my children — but, it is difficult today. We seek to be entertained. We are easily bored. We want soft, comfortable lives and feel cheated if we aren’t being spoonfed. (Or so it seems.)

Patience. I must thank my father for this, because he has been patient with me lots times. Also he teach me to be patient with other people, because you can never know what is the experience of someone else, and what they are living in the very moment, so before to fight try to understand.

Before to judge someone, step into his shoes and walk as much as he does, if you reach such a distance, then you will understand really who he is.

Q. How has becoming a parent changed you as a person? Are you more sensitive? Are you a better problem-solver? Is there something else that you have learned about yourself by being a parent?

I no longer see things in black & white. As a parent (or is it just getting older?) you have to deal with all kinds of situations where there is no universally recognised right or wrong: You just have to learn to live with shades of grey, even if children do see things in black and white.

I think, as a parent, I am now much more patient and accepting of other people and their quirks. I see so many of my own strengths and weaknesses reflected in my daughters, that it has made me realize how important it is to just accept. I can see the thread that weaves from my parents, through me, to my daughters. I understand that much of me was passed down not from my parents, but through my parents from theirs. And much of what I have passed down to my daughters, will likely be passed through them to my grandchildren (OK, that is assuming a bit at this stage).

Now I know my opinion is not the only one that counts. I am a tougher person than I seem: I have my own opinion that is hard to change but being a parent I understand that being that stubborn is not good for my kid. Sometimes my husband and I don’t agree as to what’s good and what’s bad for her and often I realize I need to listen to others. I mean I still think mom knows best but now I am listening to others as well

I have definitely become more patient! I used to be a classic choleric (in it’s better meaning). I hated being bored. I was hardly ever tired. Now it’s all different. I became patient and I find myself enjoying quiet evenings. I prefer spending time with my family at home to going out. I think being a parent has made me a completely different person!

I didn’t figure Appalachia would play such a prominent part in my answers during this interview … but it sure has. In my poem, Notes From Appalachia, I talk about how I hated my father when I was young … but saw his wisdom reflected in the landscape of our ancestral mountain home.

Now that I AM the parent, I wonder how my children will see me … down the road a ways. We are close now. They KNOW I love them. I hope they can see that my shortcomings are but shadows that will someday be gone.

Parenting — and the great love it engenders — has prompted me to develop a personal desire to change, to be better than myself, better than my father, better than his father … and the hope that my children will be better than me.

I am an Blogger on the Italian and English market. On the italian market I built a stable income and now I live in Costa Rica since two years, where I decide to start my new adventure on the English market with my italian experience.