Trek stuff

Best of Trek: 11 moments of Worf

You may have noticed that the patron saint of altstartrek is Worf, who motivates our contributors to say whatever the hell they want, whenever the hell they feel like it.

In honour of our beloved icon and his tersely grumbling magnificence, I’ve decided to round up my Top Ten Worf Moments. These aren’t the best Worf moments, or the most popular ones, they’re just my favourites. Keep that in mind when you notice that some awesome stuff is missing from the list, and feel free to share your favourite Worf Moments/call me a hack in the comments…

#10 – A Fistful of Datas

Sookie: I know that there are people out there who would rather date Edward Furlong than watch any of the episodes with Alexander in them, but I’m not one of them. I don’t mind the kid. I’m actually a little bit fond of his adventures. Besides, watching Worf grapple with his responsibilities as a single-working-space-dad is fun. And I will proudly keep the F-U in F-U-N.

This is the episode where the holodeck malfunctions, and Worf finds himself trapped inside the Deadwood Program with the Littlest Klingon and Durango. Like every other time the holodeck malfunctions, suddenly we’re playing for keeps with real bullets. Unlike every other time, because Data was hooked up to the ship’s computer (don’t ask, it doesn’t matter,) every holographic personality has his appearance and abilities. So Worf, in his role as town sheriff, has to kill Data over and over again in order to protect everybody. Which is really impressive when you think about it. Plus he wears a funny costume and delivers snark like a champ.

Oli: Best moment is the bit in the saloon where Worf realizes he can use hand to hand violence. Worst moment is the bit where Troi turns up.

#9 – “I am not a Merry Man.”

Sookie: Speaking of being forced to LARP for your life, I’d like to talk about a little episode called Qpid. I think we can all agree that Q is a massive dick, but also that we don’t want him to stop it or improve himself in any way. As a nuisance villain, he’s the best you can get. He doesn’t go out of his way to annoy Worf in particular, but he takes the opportunities when they come up.

Qpid isn’t a Worf-centric episode, it’s almost entirely about Picard, but Worf easily has the best lines. When the crew suddenly find themselves playing the parts of Robin Hood and his Merry Men in Q’s latest game, Worf doesn’t make the adjustment. At all. He just smashes up Geordie’s lute and sasses everybody. It’s terrific.

Oli: Two great Worf moments in one bad episode.

#8 – Barclay’s Protomorphosis Syndrome

Sookie: If you were to contract Barclay’s Protomorphosis Syndrome, there are lots of things you could turn into. You could regress into some kind of blue-eyed Neanderthal, maybe a hideous spider monster. Or you could do what Worf did, and turn into a combination of the Predator and the Xenomorph – an unstoppable killing machine whose hunting instincts far surpass anything in the modern world and who also SPITS ACID.

I’m just saying… It’s way cooler than turning into a lemur.

#7 – Delivering Keiko’s Baby

Sookie: Molly O’Brien was born on a typical day for the enterprise. After the ship was struck by quantum filaments, Keiko found herself trapped in Ten Forward and going into labour. Luckily, Worf was also trapped in Ten Forward, and so the first hands that held little Molly were the honourable hands of a true Klingon warrior. It would have been nice if he’d managed to impart some of his awesomeness onto the kid, but as Star Trek has shown us time and time again: writing believable children is hard.

Worf did, however, manage to get in the line: “Congratulations, you are fully dilated to ten centimeters. You may now give birth.”

#6 – Wedding!

Sookie: Ain’t no wedding like a Klingon wedding, cuz a Klingon wedding is pretty much certifiably insane.

Worf and Jadzia’s courtship was always a nice break from the intensity of the Dominion War. With his stoic zingers and her up-front naughtiness, they made an entertaining pair. After some crazy adventures together, they finally decided to get dressed up like they belonged to House Lannister so they could tie the knot at Quark’s.

But nothing Klingon is easy. So before the grandiose ceremony, Worf had to grab some friends and force them to starve themselves. Then he had to cut them up a little. For tradition.

#5 – Killing Gowron

Sookie: Life isn’t all about being amazing at sarcasm, getting married and protecting children. Sometimes it’s about political assassinations and deciding who your real frenemies are. Because of this harsh reality, Worf fought Gowron to the death and ended up shanking him with a broken piece of bat’leth. It was a fitting end to the Gowron saga, which was complicated and weird but awesome. Kind of like the Klingon Empire itself.

There’s not much else to say, since the glory of this moment is really based in the intensity of the fight itself. Dudes getting thrown through glass partitions, angry teeth-bearing, shattering weapons. It’s just a great brawl, for a great reason.

Oli: The heading should really be ‘Worf kills Gowron’s stunt double’ cos that sure as hell ain’t Gowron throwing Worf through the glass.

#4 – Death Ritual

Sookie: Any time somebody close to Worf – or a random nearby Klingon – dies, we are treated to the blood freezing scream that warns the afterlife a badass is on the way. The most notorious instance was also the first, in Heart of Glory, which was the episode that first pulled Worf out of the background and started to establish what it meant to be Klingon in post-Kirk Trek. And it’s a good Death Howl, it’s a solid Death Howl. Look out, Sto-vo-kor! Kunivas is going to tear it up when he gets there! And later in that same ep, he does another one for Korris, which is also pretty good. I mean, there’s really no such thing as a disappointing Klingon funeral.

But my favourite is the one we hear when he finds K’Ehleyr. Because the whole thing is just so… deliciously soapy. With Alexander’s little hand, and the blood everywhere and then the Howl. The primal, anguished Howl. It’s really tragic but also so overwrought, it’s one of those big operatic Star Trek moments where you end up feeling like three hundred emotions all at the same time. Classic.

Oli: Imagine how the gatekeepers of Stovokor feel. Klingons do nothing but die, so every second of their days must be made up of that fucking howl.

#3 – Dimension Hopping

Sookie: I swear to God, asking Worf to stay in a single timeline is like asking a sugar-jazzed child to sit still in a car. Whether it’s suddenly being replaced by Tasha Yar in Yesterday’s Enterprise or meeting up with the Sons of Mogh, I don’t actually care what he does when he switches realties. I just find it absolutely delightful that he’s always the one who winds up affected by reality shifts. Like… why? Why does Fate get such a kick out of messing with Worf’s perception? Is it just because it’s kind of hilarious? Because if that’s the answer, then I agree with Fate.

Oli: Was there a specific reason why Worf was chosen to carry this episode? The only reason I can think of is to push the idea of a Worf-Troi relationship into Worf’s head. And the only reason I can think of for that relationship is…something for Troi to do?

#2 – The Sword of Khaless

Sookie: It’s always a good time when somebody gets to hang out with one of the TOS characters. (Unless that character is Sarek, then it’s like watching kittens freeze to death.) So when Kor showed up on DS9, the party was already in full swing just because he was there. Telling stories that had Kang in ‘em, no less! I don’t know about you, but if there’s anything that could make a visit from Kor better, it’s getting to hear about Kang at the same time. But there was even more icing on that cake, because he also presented Worf and Jadzia with the opportunity to team up with him and go all Indiana Jones on one of the most sacred Klingon artefacts. The Sword of Khaless.

And then, in that way he usually does, Worf learns that the journey is more important than the reward. Sometimes honour is found outside the confines of tradition, and can’t be as easily defined as his culture tends to claim. Plus he hangs out with Kor! Who fought Kirk! OMG!

#1 – Weyoun 7

Sookie: Man, there were a lot of Weyouns. And they all sucked and I hated every single one of them, even the one who was supposed to be down with Odo’s morals. (Weyoun 6 – he thought he was so great, but he wasn’t.) They all ended up dead. I think most of them got iced by Damar. But Worf got one of them, and not only was it one of my favourite Worf moments, it was one of my favourite DS9 moments.

Worf and Ezri are being held captive on Cardassia during the episode Strange Bedfellows, and Weyoun shows up to taunt Ezri. Mostly about having a crush on Julian which, taking Weyoun’s side briefly, is totally worth making fun of somebody for. Ezri gets all self-conscious, and for the scantest of moments you find yourself worrying that this is going to be one of those things. You know, really lame emotional torture that’s supposed to make us start cheering for Ezri because she’s so vulnerable. But before it really gets going, SNAP! Weyoun is dead!

Just like that. Weyoun was so caught up in his busy schedule of never shutting the fuck up, he failed to notice how close he was to an angry Klingon’s hands. Next thing he knows, he’s lying on the floor with a broken neck. And Damar thinks it’s great and I think it’s great, and we all think it’s great. And yeah, they still managed to activate one last Weyoun, but still.

Nice one, Worf.

Oli: I also like the bit a few scenes later where Weyoun 8 comes in and Damar tells him to go talk to Worf again. About as funny as Trek gets.

Honourable mentions

Worf vs old woman

Oli: Okay, she’s a shapeshifting mega-beast, but Worf still threatens to backhand her across sickbay even when she reverts back to old woman status.

Worf vs feeble Betazoid

Oli: It doesn’t seem quite right, Worf sitting down in the defence counsel’s chair during Picard’s drumhead trial. Actually, is he defending Picard or is he just sitting in that position because he’s the secondary character in the episode?

Anyway, long story short…Betazoid calls Worf’s dad a Romulan conspirator, Worf stands up to ‘do a Weyoun’ on the guy before Picard pulls him back with a simple, quiet, ‘Lieutenant.’

Brilliant moment in a brilliant episode [that would have been even more brilliant if it had been stretched into a two-parter – more on that another time]