Thursday, May 25, 2006

Bros + Speculation = Disastrous Results

A comment was made on the last post by an anonymous visitor to Bro Spotting. He wrote…

“Could it be speculated that BroSpotting is spawned from homosexual tendencies?”

I knew the day would come when some random Bro would stumble across my site, get pissed or embarrassed, and call me a fag. Isn’t this a perfect example of how a Bro deals with situations or emotions that are unsatisfactory? If a Bro walks in to a room and sees you sitting in his favorite chair, he’ll exclaim, “Get up, Fag!” Or if you bump in to a bro while he is drinking some Gatorade, and he spills the colorful beverage all over the popped collar of his new Abercrombie polo shirt, you can expect to hear, “You Fag!” The complete inability to author an original insult is fundamental to Broism.

Based on my observations of the Bro lifestyle, I find it rather contradictory for a Bro to call anyone a fag. No other class of people spends so much time ogling the male physique. Their obsession with sculpting the most defined abs, building the biggest arms, and acquiring the perfect tan is unprecedented in any other class of humanity. Many Bros spend hours of their lives taking showers with other Bros - in the locker room or otherwise. Towels are snapped, testicles are slapped (aka – “tea-bagging”), and they still manage to call everyone else a fag. The duplicitous nature of the Bros astounds me.

To answer the question posted by Mr. Anonymous… No, I am not a homosexual (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Bro Spotting was spawned the same way any mullet spotting page was spawned. I find Bros hilarious. My friends and I have been making Bro jokes for as long I can remember. As the years went on, the jokes became more detailed and complex. That’s how the whole thing began.

Check back soon for more Brotos! If you have a Broto that you would like me to post, send it to bro.spotting@gmail.com