Great Rants

October 25, 2007

It Takes a Village to Raise an Idiot

Parents, raise your children well because that mediocre,
irresponsible, intellectually inert child of yours could be the president of
the United States one day, and then where will that leave the rest of us?

Teach your sons and daughters to finish one
game before beginning another. Make your
children clean up the messes they make. When they are wrong, teach them to take responsibility for their
mistakes. When they play games, don't let them make their own rules. If a big, scary bully is bothering them, don't let them beat up the annoying little girl who lives near the bully. If they are feeble minded, don’t help them gain admission
to a university that would otherwise never have them.

Harvard and Yale, stop the legacy madness. Undeserved
credentials from a respected institution are proof of academia’s shameful role
as enabler. Imagine if Harvard had
conferred a medical degree on George W. Bush instead of a business degree. Maybe the legacy fondlers at Harvard are shrieking, “We
would never do that! We only gave him a business degree!” Ask yourself, Harvard,
could President Bush have done more harm as a physician? And Yale, stop smiling as Harvard gets the
brunt of this because President Bush’s first collegiate-level enabler was Yale.
After all, if Yale had thrown out Mr. Bush, he would only be vice president
today.

Alcoholics Anonymous, recognize that some people are more harmful when they are sober. Close those doors to your meetings, and only admit those people whose sobriety would benefit society as a whole. Note: Don't pattern your admission policies after any Ivy League institutions.

Churches, don't make it so easy for people to find Christ. If you let them look a little longer, maybe they'll learn the right answer to "What would Jesus do?".

Voters, don't base your votes on gut instinct. Guts are not required in the voting process. It doesn't take courage to vote unless you're Al Gore.