My experience, the signs are always there, heed them and walk away

I’d like to share my experience in the hands of an abusive spouse. I’ll make it brief but precise.I’m a single mum of a teenage daughter. Her dad died 10yrs ago. You know how unkind our society is to our like. They won’t even bother about your story. Once you are seen with a baby and you are not sporting a ring, you are automatically classified as a ‘loose woman’. I digress.

I wasn’t & I still am not in a hurry to marry after my baby daddy died because of the trauma I faced from my in-laws who said I killed him. Story for another day.My mum wanted me to get married and was pressuring me. I met this guy during my service year and we started dating. He was a batch ahead of me & we were an item then as he was quite a catch. He was perfect. He passed out but still came around to check up on me.

Then I finished too. He didn’t get a job. That’s when I saw the real him. I had told him all about my past so whenever he got angry, he would use those things as weapons and say hurtful words just to spite me.

He would wake me up in the middle of the night and ask me how my baby daddy died. Saying I can’t kill him like I killed my ex.He hacked my facebook account & was always stalking me around town. All my male friends fled from me because he said I was sleeping with them.

I’m a tomboy, my best mate is actually a guy.Then I got fed up and told him I was walking away. He pulled out a knife and told me if he could not have me, nobody would. I knew he would kill me before his eyes would clear so I started pleading. He dropped the knife & hugged me, but he did not change

Second time I tried to leave again, he started to strangle me. So I bided my time. We had done our introduction but I didn’t care. My life was more important.He told me he was managing me so I should be grateful as I’m fat and an “after one” i did not let his emotional abuse get the better of me.

I’m a very confident plus sized diva, I knew I was not going to marry him. So I just tuned off and became detached. I couldn’t walk away. He would kill me. I simply prayed he would walk away. He did after six months. He said so many hurtful things. I just stared at him mutely. He

Five days later he called to beg saying he didn’t know what came over him. 6years after he’s still begging. No way.I’m a proud single mom. I’d rather be single forever and be happy than marry an abuser. I saw the signs & didn’t marry him.