You’re Not All Magnums — Study Shows Men Ignore Condom Sizes

Some of us dudes are packing a bit more wiener than sense, according to a new study which shows that despite efforts to educate, many men still choose not to use condoms. The biggest complaint? They say their meat-stick simply will not fit into a one-size-fits-all rubber. We have the opposite problem, so we can’t relate.Men with smaller packages (again, like us) are just as careless; researchers say that in a poll of 500 men, nearly 50% reported incidents where the prophylactic has either slipped off while doing the deed or broken. These findings are leading researchers to believe that some men are opting to skip out on wrapping up, because they are either too big or small to fit their junk.

Unfortunately, researchers say that this sizing issue is putting many men at risk for contracting things like STIs, STDs and arguably the worst STD: fatherhood. Even though some of the more fashionable and size-conscious condom manufacturers are now producing up to 95 different sizes of pecker wrapping, most drugstores and truck stops only carry the one-size-fits all variety.

Perhaps someday condom sellers will provide a floor salesman armed with a wiener brannock, whose job is to give men a custom fitting prophylactic — that would be a little awkward, but maybe awesome. Until then though, we think it was Shakespeare who first said: if you’re not going to wrap it, take it home and whack it.

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