And remember, whatever lives in the heart control you. It becomes what you strive for and willing to sacrifice anything to have. It therefore, must be something eternal and never breaks. It must, be something that never leaves. Only one thing is like that : The Creator.

Monthly Archives: January 2014

Beautiful morning, as I woke up. Prepared my breakfast as usual and clean up the kitchen before I open cooking books to start making my lunch. Dad gone to work for several days, mom already in school, teaching as always. My brother went downstairs at noon being in such hurry and leave me with a word to locked the door as he left. Lonely big home, just me alone. I cooked fried rice for lunch, more like a chicken fried rice. The taste makes me wonder, of how a good cook I am. Mom and dad approved my cooking skill yesterday as I cooked a full day meal when dad was on holiday. A long day with him tho brings us much closer.

A long semester break I am going through here. Talking about future plan, working life, studies, and loves. My conversation with dad mostly academical. I love talking about all those accounting theories I learnt in university, he is very kind and often encourage me to pursue my accounting studies in future and sit for professional examination. Meanwhile regarding my mom and sister, they are busy preparing my sister for her big day! Yes, the wedding. I am so happy for her, obviously. Mom have been trying to talk to me about finding a special one in my life since then. Its a hard talk I must say.

Love? How do I find one? Everyone love to be loved, but we often bumped into a person we are not meant to be with. Its exhausting, really. I wish god just make it easy for this love thingy to come across my life. Why can’t it be simple as, I like a guy and a guy like me back as much as I like him. How peaceful the world can be, am I right?

Its been awhile I have not wrote any enthusiastic post in my blog due to exam week which packed my whole schedule. Currently I am in my semester break for four weeks starting this Monday, I could not feel any comfortable than being at home with my family members. This also means that my first semester of third year has end.

17th February, will be my second semester. I have registered a total of 6 subject which means 6 classes of 3 hours lecture for my new semester.

The thing that kept bothering my mind is about my future planning on internship. I have been thinking quite a lot recently of doing my internship and also my planning on furthering studies in ACCA at London on 2015/2016.

So the planning is like this, I will sit for IELTS exam on march, used the the EILTS result to apply for internship at Big4 and other accounting firms. My internship will start on July till December. So for the 5 months I’ve got to plan very well, where will I intern, weather at Penang or Kuala Lumpur. Tough choice.

I shall list down all the pro’s and con’s.. But I am really hoping to get an internship place at KL because I want to get out of my comfort zone, try something new, something challenging. I want my life to be amazing and full with adventerous.

“Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I got this flashback.. The night when we were tired and he drove me home, I would lay down on the seat, stare at the dark skies, and tell him about my dreams.. He did not have a big dreams like mine, but he would listen very patiently.

My dreams of pursuing my studies abroad, work in multinational companies, become an auditor, own a house, and all those dreams.. Sometimes he made my wish comes true, sometimes he pray for the wish to come true when he cant make it real.

Years passed by, with all the throwback, I remember the time when we reach my hostel, yet he would talked for hours and give me advices. Even when dia dah penat nasihat bagai mcurah air ke daun keladi bcos I often hurt him with my words, actions and alot of things.. I wish he would forgive me..

Its hard, but I have to let go.. Things wont be the same..what left is just my dreams awaiting me.. And I shall prove him, my dreams will comes true. So one day when he saw me somewhere with his wife and beautiful kids, he would tell them..

That was a woman I knew, living in her passionate dreams, strongly alone..

Others are finding love, few are looking backward for the past love, while in present people are insanely in love.

Met a friend of mine. Didn’t expect she would open up a love stories as I give her a ride back home. She is recently quite a good friend, we were getting much closer this semester. Besides, I once met her boyfie, a nice and good looking guy who is working as a tutor in a university. Spend a midnight watching movies and late dinner with him. Cute couple I must say.

It was a normal hot afternoon as we hit the road, when I sincerely give her my best wish before she end her 3 years of studies in university to pursue her career and get a family as she said the word.. ‘ We just broke up’

Shocking as I heard, I looked at her, and asked whats wrong.. She replied, she was bored with the guy. She don’t want to hurt him anymore, she lost her heart, she wanted to be single. I was filled with thousand of questions inside me, why did you do that, you should have told him before you accepted his love, you shouldn’t accept his love if you just pitied him, and even if you wanted to break up, you should met him and tell him face to face. There is no human being who have the right to hurt others just like that, just with a text message, are you insane?

I know I should tell her all that, but who am I? Just a girl who full with flaws in LOVE, a single girl who is scared to put her heart out there to be loved and to find love. I am.

To know how hard it is to find true love, I know how hard it is to fight for love we think we deserve, I know the feeling of being dumped over and over again. And today I could not understand a person who dumped their partner for the sake of themselves. Perhaps, that is what they called selfish. Among all the selfishness in the world, this is something I could not handle.

Just so you know from the start, you are not deeply, madly, fall in love. From the start, leave the person. Do not linger around giving hope for some uncertainty, just to break their heart to pieces in the end.