Why do teenagers drink?

First and foremost, let’s get one thing straight: every teenager is completely different. Some of them have had a few sips of beer, some have never drunk any alcohol at all, and others drink every weekend. Some 15 year olds have wondered if it’s time for them to have their first taste of alcohol, while others have got bored with cider and moved on to spirits. Then, of course, there are those who have decided not to drink at all. But of those who do drink – and that’s less than half of all teenagers – there are some reasons that come up time and time again when asked why they drink.

Why is alcohol dangerous for young people?

We probably all know that drinking a lot of alcohol isn’t good for us. But what people perhaps don’t know is that it is more dangerous to drink when you’re young. Here are some of the biggest hazards associated with drinking in your teens.

Talking about alcohol

With some teenagers, it’s easy to talk about anything and everything. With others, they simply mutter something inaudible and shut themselves in their room as soon as you open your mouth. And not all parents are the same either, come to that. But there is something that’s true of all children, whatever they or you are like: children that have a close relationship with their parents and who know what their parents expect are the ones who do best.

Should you offer your teenager a drink at home?

Some parents try to eliminate the “forbidden fruit” aspect of alcohol by offering their teenager half a glass of wine with their dinner or a beer in the sauna. Others think it’s OK to allow their children to see what alcohol tastes like in the belief that they’ll find it revolting. But whatever you think is the best approach, the research all shows the same thing: if you offer children alcohol, you’re telling them it’s OK to drink, even though you’re not an adult. You can’t, in other words, teach youngsters how to drink alcohol by offering them a drink at home. The only thing you’re teaching them is to drink.

Should you drink?

Teenagers will often say, “But you drink!” when you make it clear that they shouldn’t. But the fact of the matter is that adults are allowed to drink alcohol and teenagers below the age of 18 aren’t. Just because your teenager isn’t allowed to drive a car, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t drive, and it’s the same with drinking alcohol. Your attitude to and relationship with alcohol will, however, affect the way your teenager views it.

Should you buy alcohol for them?

A lot of children ask their parents to buy alcohol for them. And it’s hard for a lot of parents to refuse. Most probably want the best for their children, and they’d like to show their teenager that they trust them, or perhaps want to prevent them drinking something stronger. Maybe they hope that by buying alcohol for their teenagers, they can control how much they drink. Sadly, it seldom works out as they hope. What follows are some arguments that you might find helpful if you’re in doubt.

Prearranged times?

Most adults would probably agree that rules and prearranged times are a good idea when you have teenagers in the family. And most teenagers will understand that parents do worry and that they have to be home by a set time. But making the concept work in practice can be a bit tricky sometimes. Here are a few ideas that might help.

Yes or no?

Being a parent often means handling tricky decisions. You’ve been a Mum or Dad for a while now, so you know what we’re talking about. You want to show your kids that you trust them, but at the same time, you don’t want them to get into trouble. No one else can tell you where you should draw the line for your teenager from one context to another. You’re the one who has to decide what is OK and what is not OK.

How much should you worry?

A lot of teenagers would probably like it if their parents didn’t worry all the time. But the vast majority of them, in their heart of hearts, probably want someone to show that they care. Worrying yourself to death, on the other hand, doesn’t help anyone or anything. Try and turn your worries into something constructive instead.

What if they break the rules?

If you’ve agreed on a rule and they break it, then it’s important to put your foot down. Some parents use grounding as a punishment, while some content themselves with a thorough telling off. It’s up to you to decide what the best approach is. The most important thing is that your teenager understands that what they did was wrong and that they learn from the experience.

New friends

The teenage years are often a time when you make new friendships. A lot of this is due to the fact that many teenagers change school at this age, of course, but it’s also because, as they grow older, they outgrow their old friends. And who you socialise with is particularly important at this age. As a parent, it’s important that you don’t attempt to control their friendships – rather that you provide support, when necessary.

Young people who don’t drink

Virtually no parent likes their teenager drinking. But at the same time, a lot of people say that it’s part of growing up, which is a little odd. Talking about drinking as some sort of phase that all young people go through is like saying it’s a natural part of their development. And it very definitely isn’t. Nowadays, over half of all young people don’t drink at all.

Waiting up?

Should you stay up at night, waiting until your teenager saunters in through the door, or can you rely on them coming home as planned? This is obviously going to differ from one family to another, but the important thing is that you, as a parent, are happy with the situation. Some teenagers like their parents being up when they come home, while others feel that if their parents go to bed, it shows that they trust them. But the one thing they all have in common is that they all want their parents to notice if something’s gone wrong.

If your teenager comes home drunk?

However much you’ve talked about and discussed things, however much information you’ve given them and however much you’ve shown them that you care, your teenager might still come home drunk. In one sense, you can be glad that your teenager has come home, because at least, at home, there’s someone who cares, which is far from certain if they ended up somewhere else. But what do you do when you have a teenager standing in your hall, about to be sick?

Home alone

Leaving your teenager home alone is no guarantee of a mega-party and ensuing chaos, but a lot of young people do feel group pressure when it comes to parties. Maybe they think that everyone else is having parties and they don’t want to be any different. Or maybe your teenager doesn’t actually want a party, but ends up having one anyway. So there are a few things you might want to bear in mind if you’re leaving your teenager home alone.

How much can you trust teenagers?

Parents of teenagers often wonder how much they can trust their children. A lot of teenagers will, undoubtedly, withhold some information from their parents, but you shouldn’t assume that young people are lying. Every teenager is, of course, different and the extent to which you can trust your specific teenager depends to a large degree on what has gone before. The best thing you can do is to talk to your teenager and show consideration.

Social media

The online world is where the vast majority of teenagers live out a large part of their social lives. For many young people, the net gives them a great deal: it’s a place where they talk to their friends, watch movies, listen to music and learn about a variety of subjects. But there are also a lot of online pitfalls too, of course, and it’s important that you, as a parent, keep a look out and teach your teenager how to handle and avoid them.

Travel

Teenagers mature at different rates. But even if your son or daughter is very adult and mature for their age, it might be a good idea to stop and think for a moment when they start talking about going away with their friends.

Festivals

Going to a festival can be a real adventure. Heading off with your friends, seeing your favourite band, meeting like-minded people, and sleeping in a tent… For many youngsters, it’s the best thing ever. But there’s a dark side, too.

High days and holidays

Most of us probably associate alcohol with celebrations. A lot of adults can’t imagine a New Year’s Eve without some bubbly, and a lot of young people associate partying and celebrations with the end of the school year. These are the days when a lot of young people drink for the first time. They’re also the days when a lot of them get into fights and have accidents because they’re drunk. As a parent, there’s a lot you can do.

When other people’s kids are in trouble

If you find out or suspect that someone else’s teenager is drinking, doing drugs, or in a bad place, you can try to do something about it. But you have to handle it sensibly, even if it’s not your child who’s involved. Here are a few things you need to bear in mind.

Youth drinking – then and now

The Swedish Council for Information on Alcohol and Other Drugs (CAN) carries out a survey of school students’ drug habits every year. The study examines, amongst other things, how many ninth graders drink alcohol, and if so, how often and how much. And because more or less the same questions have been put to teenagers since 1971, it’s easy to see the trends in young people’s alcohol habits.

How much do teenagers drink?

The amount of alcohol that teenagers drink on a yearly basis goes in waves. Sweden has been carrying out surveys of the annual consumption of ninth grade girls and boys since 1977.

What do teenagers drink?

Ninth graders nowadays usually drink spirits, strong beer, alcopops, or cider, when they want to get drunk. This may be due to “drinks fashion” or to the increase in alcohol imports that has made spirits more accessible. It’s worrying, of course, that teenagers are drinking so much spirits – if a young person finds it harder to judge the effects of alcohol in general, they’re hardly going to find it any easier with 40% spirits in their body.

Where do they get the alcohol?

It’s actually remarkable just how easy it is for young people to get hold of alcohol. Not only is it illegal, but most adults think that alcohol is something teenagers should be avoiding. So where are teenagers getting their alcohol?

Illegal alcohol

In the past, young people often bought home-distilled alcohol from someone they knew. Nowadays, they buy from illegal dealers selling alcoholic drinks that have been smuggled into the country. One in every five cans of beer and bottles of spirits comes from smuggling or private imports from another country.

Other drugs

It’s sometimes said that alcohol is a gateway drug to narcotics. That anyone who drinks in their teens will look for stronger kicks and will eventually try heroin. Fortunately, this isn’t the case, and trying narcotics never even occurs to most teenagers who drink. What we do know, however, is that almost everyone who tries narcotics for the first time does so under the influence of alcohol. And we also know that it’s far more common for tobacco smokers to try smoking cannabis as well.

Sports and alcohol

Sports aren’t just about performing well on the pitch, on horseback, or in the swimming pool. They’re about being part of a team, a group, and about having a captain or team leader. Most people would agree that sports and alcohol are a bad combination. Sports are a good forum for talking to young people about alcohol because approximately half of all teenagers are regularly involved in sport.

Alcohol and sex

Alcohol affects both your emotional life and your judgement. Many people feel more relaxed after a few beers, that a few drinks help get the conversation started, and that those around you are both more attractive and better company after a couple of drinks. But alcohol and sex are a bad combination.

Alcohol and violence

There’s no doubt that alcohol and violence go hand in hand. In just over 6 out of every 10 cases of assault, the victim said that their attacker was under the influence of drugs or alcohol. In 39% of cases, the victim had been drinking, too. And it’s often young people who are involved.

If you want to do more

There’s a lot you can do to support and be there for teenagers. Maybe you can take part in night time patrols, or make it easier for them to say “no”, or help promote a smarter approach to alcohol in some other way. Read on for a few examples of how you can help.

Useful contacts and websites

It can sometimes be good to talk to someone who knows a bit more about teenagers and alcohol, or about anything else, for that matter. See below for a list of some of the organisations you can contact when you feel that you need help. Some of them are aimed at adults, others at young people.

Beställ Tonårsparlören 2013

It isn’t always easy being a teenager. Being a teenager’s parent isn’t exactly a stroll in the park either. This site is full of tips, arguments and facts to make life a little easier for everyone. If you’d like to discuss teenagers and alcohol, go to our Facebook-page, or use #tonårsparlören on social media.Kind regards, IQ-initiativet.

SUMMARY OF ADVICE FOR PARENTS

Don’t offer teenagers alcohol and don’t buy it for them.

Teenagers who get alcohol from their parents drink more. You can’t teach your child how to drink alcohol. The only thing you’re teaching them is to drink.

Be interested and listen.

A good relationship is mainly about building confidence in each other. Show that you’re interested in what your child is thinking and what they’re going through.

Show that you care.

Being considerate or talking about your feelings with your teenager is never a daft thing to do. If you’re worried, tell them why.

Trust yourself.

Try to listen to yourself, to what you really think about this and that. As a parent, you have the right to do what feels best for you.

Be clear and set limits.

The more clearly you show what you expect, the easier it is for your teenager to do what you say.

Get help from other parents.

It can sometimes be useful to talk to other people about how they approach an issue and, maybe, it’ll give you the tools you need to demolish the "everyone else is allowed to" argument.

Help them say "no".

Parents can be a huge help to their teenagers by giving them good arguments to use. Tell them that it’s absolutely OK to say "no", even when everyone else is saying "yes".

Remember that you’re a role model.

Think about the sort of message and values you’re conveying to your child.

Have the courage to let go of the reins.

Your teenager is starting to explore his or her adult identity. Be open to new things, and have the courage to let go of the reins. But show them that you’re there for them and that you’re happy to help them.

Show love.

Your teenager needs to understand that you love him or her, whatever happens. Closeness and love mean a lot, however old your child may be.

Useful contacts and websites

It can sometimes be good to talk to someone who knows a bit more about teenagers and alcohol, or about anything else, for that matter.Click here for a list of examples