(Closed) I am so sensitive! Am I getting on my MIL's nerves?

Hey, everyone! Most of you would probably shrug this off, but I’m super sensitive, and it’s been bothering me all night. Today, I found the perfect dress and bought it! I was so excited. My wedding is still 13 months away (May 2014), so I know it’s a little early. Anyway, I sent pictures to my future mother in law and she was of course sweet and told me it was beautiful and everything.

So then this evening, I got to thinking how amazing and wonderful it would be to me if she made my veil for my wedding! She is so crafty and it would be really sentimental to me. So I asked her via text if I bought the supplies if she would want to make it, cause it would mean a lot to me. Plus save a whole lot of money!

She said sure and then just said she was glad we had a year to figure everything out.

Even as I read what I just wrote I know I’m being ridiculous lol. But I was just hoping for some excitement on her end! And I feel more like I was just getting on her nerves with all this wedding talk when it’s still a year away. 🙁

Just to add, I am not constantly bothering her about wedding stuff either. Sometimes I’ll bring up something, but it’s definitely not an everyday thing by any means. So am I being too sensitive? Or did she seem annoyed? 🙁

@BEWLove:I don’t even know where the question is??? She wasn’t excited enough?? I’m serious- is that he issue? Sister if that’s it, you’re in for a long year. We all say this over and over: no one (that includes family) is going to be as excited for your wedding as you are. Plain and simple. You need to get a thicker skin! You are being waaaaay too sensitive.

I agree, I think you are being way too sensitive. Honestly, my FMIL hasn’t said one WORD to me about our wedding. It’s a little strange but eh, that’s just how she is. You are definitely overreacting. No need to worry about anything!

@mamadingdong: I know! I am so sensitive. Let me just put it this way……I am terrified of being an annoying bride, or a bridezilla…I have been really careful to NOT drive everyone crazy about my wedding, because I know they aren’t as excited.

After she sent me that text, I told her of course there was no rush and it was just something I thought of. She never replied.

I guess I just don’t want to get on her nerves by throwing all of this wedding stuff at her. It’s not that I care if she isn’t excited….I just don’t want her to be thinking badly of me or that I’m annoying or something. And she just seemed….idk. Annoyed. Annoyed with me for planning so much wedding stuff this early in the game. I can’t explain it. Lol. I guess I was just expecting a “Sure, that sounds great!” or “Sure, I would love to!”, opposed to a simple, “Sure, glad we have a year to figure it out.”

@BEWLove: I guess my only thought is to not be annoying then! Make sure you have other things to talk about.

Also, you basically just said ‘I was expecting her to be excited’ and well, anytime you have expectations you are leaving yourself open to disappointment. Hopefully you have other people in your life that want to discuss the details and maybe just include her on the big stuff. An again, make sure you are not obsessing over the wedding. It gets old fast!

Don’t worry about, you are being way to sensitive and if you are getting upset about this, there a lot more in store for you! Too many people get upset because of how they take the tone of a text or email. What more casayer say in a text message. She’ll probably be a lot more excited about it when you talk to her face to face or on the phone. Don’t get upset about the tone of her text message.

You have over a year to go, try not to drive yourself crazy reading into everything everyone says aka texts. Also I’m sure she’ll get excited about the veil when it gets closer to the wedding. Just remember no one will be as excited as you.

Thanks, everyone! I guess I have seen her react to other people and situations in a certain way so I can just imagine her saying, “I don’t know why she is already asking about this, she needs to chill out.” Or something. And I didn’t mean to be pushy at all! It was just a suggestion.

I love her and I value her opinion! So, as I’ve said, I don’t want to be annoying. I wasn’t expecting her to jump up and down or anything, lol. I just almost got the impression that she didn’t want to talk about wedding stuff or the veil or anything.

Which makes me sad because I actually feel that we don’t discuss a lot of wedding stuff! When we booked the venue, I just shot her a text that told her that we booked the wedding, what day, and where it was. I think we have discussed the number of bridesmaids. And that’s really about it. And I’ve been engaged for about 4 months.

I wouldn’t text her about things like this. If you’re asking her something that means a lot to you, I would always do that in person. Texts are too impersonal and it’s too easy to misconstrue what someone means through text.

I think the year comment was a bit of a hint to take a breath and relax. I don’t know how close you are to your MIL, but traditionally they’re not overly involved. Usually the groom’s parents host the rehearsal/groom’s dinner, and that’s about it. I’m very close to my FMIL and the only wedding things we’ve really talked about was the date/time/venue confirmation and location options for the groom’s dinner. All my OMG details! moments have been with my mom and best friends.

@arendiva: She is super crafty and enjoys doing stuff like that. I mentioned that the veils were really expensive, but I definitely stressed more that it would be sentimental to me. And it’s the truth! My parents are paying for the dress/veil regardless, so it’s not even that I would be saving the money, they would. It just seemed like a really special idea to me.

@MariContrary: I agree it seemed like she wanted me to relax. I am very close with her, or at least I feel that I am. They always take me on their family vacations, she buys me presents here or there, she keeps their house stocked with my favorite foods. But as I previously said, I don’t think I’ve done a whole lot of wedding stuff with her. Other than just telling her about some of the things we have decided. So I guess I just don’t see where I was ever hyped up about the wedding or talking about it 24/7. But maybe it just seemed like a lot in one day since I told her about the dress and then asked about the veil that night.

i don’t see what the issue is here. I would have asked something important like that in person, not via text. Then you can gauge her true reaction. Although you can’t change it now, I would have left out the money saving part, too.

But, in general you need to relax, you’re way over analyzing a silly little text.