Go with the tide but be confident to go against

As i start the next chapter of life, running around between job applications, job interviews, school admission for son etc etc etc ..list goes on , u know right..

I wait in the school for hours on many days, i see many parents waiting and then i get to here few conversations , but the subject was always the same…

Scene : 3 ladies sitting on adjacent chairs ,waiting ,and then take turns to visit the headmistress , come back and wait outside so all of them can discuss again..

What i got to know was their kids were in high school , and whether to continue with ICSC or change to state syllabus was the conversation about:

Lady 1: I am so confused. I am not able to sleep at night.I am not able to decide what to do. I think i will take 1 more day time and then come back with firm mind.

Lady 2 : Me too. I think i will wait for 1 more year and then decide after analyzing the marks next year.

Lady 1 : I have brought the fees also in my bag.. but i cant decide

Lay 3 : Just shakes her head in agreement.

Lady 2 : What does ur son think?

Lady 1 : He says he wants to continue but we need to think and make decision . We cant listen to them.

Lady 2 to lady 1: Do one thing. Put a black dot on the mirror and look at it for few mins, u will feel relaxed, then with a calm mind u can decide.

The scene continued for few minutes.

Then they sigh and leave.

I felt this is the new trend everywhere, parents are so tensed about their kids education, what they study, what they score, tutions etc etc ??

So much of stress..

It was not like this before atleast not in my house and many houses i knew.. All our parents knew was the school name and the class we studied in ( cant expect dads to know the section ). We went and enquired about the tutions if we wanted to join .We decided to which colleges we applied for PUC. We went and got the admission done.

The choices were ours. Ofcourse they guided us but they let us take decisions or atleast involved us in decision making.

I think its very important that we involve our kids in decision making or atleast take their opinions into account. It brings a sense of confidence , ability to face and handle situations and take responsibility of the decisions.

But remember if u do it just for the sake of it , they will figure it out soon. Trust me they are far more smarter than us.

I am sure we all think , we will not interfere after 10th, then +2 , then professional course and the branch..we keep deciding and it becomes an habit. By that time, they become dependent.

I am sure all of us have good concerns and intentions both in mind and heart ,but believe me it will alter the thought process of kids.

What i have seen and experienced is, all these marks really dont matter much at all. I have seen toppers fail in life, and the mediocores raise and be the boss.

We definitely need to show them the doors, guide them, encourage and boost them, rarely may have to push them too.

But lets not forget there are other things as well which really count more.

Its ultimately how u deal with circumstances, how u can use the opportunity in front of u, how much risk u are ready to take is all that matters.

If we equip our kids with these, i think sky will be the limit.

Lets make them better people who can cope with reality and live a life of their own.

PS : I put that scenerio here only because thats what started my thought process, rather scared me. Will i too fall into this mass/ herd mentality ?? Will i have to take so much stress ,which i didnt take, even when i did my post graduation? Will this competitive world ask me to sacrifice my mental peace??

I am not trying to judge anybody or make assumptions because all parents want the best for their kids.

Life changes ,literally changes when u become a mom . All that life of a carefree woman vanishes all of sudden and then u sit there breastfeeding the little one for hours together, praying god to grant that little nap u haven’t had in days or months like in my case.

It was a time when i preferred staying home than carry him around along with the baggage rather luggage. But today i see so many moms with all that baby wearing slings , harnasses happily walking around. I am jealous. Y did i not know this?? No i belong to the same era as u smart moms. maybe i was drowned in my books or just ignorant.

The mobility baby wearing gives.. is such a relief. Believe me.

However thats not the reason of this blog.

When i saw so many people embracing so many baby carrying accessories , I remembered reading during my MBBS about baby carrying and a pediatric hip condition (DDH). But i was not very sure about the relationship. So did some searching and this is what i found.

This is to introduce all you moms to be and new moms to something called developmental dysplasia of hip (DDH).I will try my best to keep it simple.

This is a simple diagram showing the hip joint. It is a ball and socket joint.

DDH is a condition in which the surfaces ( ball and socket) which form the hip joint become loose and can lead to improper development of joint. The infants in first few months are more vulnerable due to their natural flexibility and also the joint surfaces are partially soft yet.

So the main aim is to position the baby such that the ball remains in socket , so that socket develops normally and fully.

The first born child, the female child , the child born with breech presentation, or positive family history have more chances of DDH.

And u know how our moms used to carry us ( in India and few other countries ), yes on their hips , with us clinging on to them.Thank them for the same, that positioning reduces the chances of DDH.

The safe position is when the hips fall apart to the side with hips and knees bent.

The unhealthy position/increased risk is is where the hips and knees are straight and both legs kept together.

With all the baby wearing slings, baby harnesses and car seats which we are using today , the child is bound to spend some time in there. So we should carefully position the baby during such times.

The recommended position for baby wearing is called spread squat position/ M position / Jockey position – where thigh is spread around the mothers body, thigh supported, hips flexed ( bent ) and knee slightly above /at the level of hips.

It is also important to look for size of carriers and the baby for proper positioning of baby.

It is simple once u are familiarised but just keep an eye if u are new to parenting.

So when u carry the baby ,check for this ,

hips are spread out

the hips and knees are bent

thigh is supported

Here are some of the illustrations from International hip dysplasia Institute which gives a guidance

CAR SEATS

NOT RECOMMENDED

Not recommended

BETTER

Better

Here the car seat in first image is not recommended because of restricted leg movement whereas the second one is better.

BABY HARNESS

NOT RECOMMENDED

not recommended

BETTER

Better

Here again the first baby harness is not recommended as the thigh is not supported and leg is straight , whereas second one is better where the thigh is supported, hips are apart, hip and knee bent.

BABY SLINGS

NOT RECOMMENDED

Not recommended

BETTER

Better

Again here , first one is not recommended whereas second one is better.

Infact there are few studies showing that proper baby wearing may reduce the incidence of DDH.

Ofcourse i have touched upon very specific part of baby wearing. There maybe so many other considerations you need to make such as back support, baby safety, buckle grip etc.

There are so many experts out there and i am sure they can guide you.

Hope this is of help to u.

Happy parenting.

And for those of u who want to read the entire guidance from the International hip dysplasia Institute , the link is here

No dont worry i am not spamming u with same old/new tricks/ideas as to how to make your valentine feel special. This is about how u can make everyday a valentines day for yourself.

My philosophy of love is like totally twisted. Love yourself before u love others. No matter what, u have to be with u because thats what life is about . Yes i am a spiritual and philosophical person though in the most strangest ways.

As far as i can remember my birthday gifts were always books from Cinderella and puss in boots when i was 3 to Manorama series when i was 15 ( but i couldnt get past ten pages of this book but thats a secret between us).

I was introduced to lot of positive books which did have a great impact on me though not in the ways it was intended to.

I am no motivational speaker nor a preacher but wanted to share what i read and remember.

Ya and i confess i needed a reinforcement too.

Hence i share my philosophy with u , and few i am yet to master.

1.Love yourself.

Yes the most. That doesnt by anyway mean u dont love or care less for others.When u dont see urself deserving how do u expect others to.It helps you give more .Get to know urself, accept whatever u are. Stop wanting to be others and wanted by others.

All of us have imperfections and thats what makes us, us.When u are looking up to someone , someone near u will be looking up at u .So dont let them down.

Stand up and do your best.

2. Be selfish.

U heard me right. Ask for what u want. Discuss . No one has the superpowers to read your mind.

Sometimes there are situations where i am not sure of what i want. i just think about the pros and cons , sometimes maybe even write it down . It doesnt matter which side is long because each have a different weightage. Then i decide on one thing and nearly always i never repent or look back.

Sometimes there are no right / wrong decisions they are just your choice.

Because each of us have a different bundle of problems to deal with.But believe me all of them have a bundle though some may hide it behind the closed doors.

3.Be open minded.

Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives will not have a title until much later.

Never draw boundaries. Destiny works in mysterious ways .U never know in what from opportunity knocks your door.Sometimes we are looking for ice and when we find water , we dont realize we are searching for the same but in a different form ( i know thats a weird example, right now not able to come up with a better one).

Not all your actions need to give you something back/be productive. Just the sheer joy u get out of it will be soul satisfying.

4.Find a hobby

Anything from travelling to yoga,meditation to cooking or even just decluttering and rearranging your house.Find something to explore. It may change with time but just do it as long as it interests u.Push yourself, all u need to is just find some time for yourself.

Do what u wanted to since long time and kept postponing. By the age of 40/45 i am sure all of us have a well planned post retirement life. Because whatever is on the bucket list, we convince ourselves that we will do it later. But how sure are we that its going to happen.So let it happen today.

5.Learn to say NO

I know i dont qualify to right this (because i can never say one ). But i am .Sometimes u need to just say it- no matter who is at the other end. And not just say no but also without explanation. But ofcourse we need to make clear, we are always there to help them in real need , maybe even before they ask.

Ok ok ok got it..i still have along list but I am leaving it here.. But do give a thought about this.

But dont tell your spouse that u love yourself the most , or else be ready to face the consequences.

Oh my spouse .. Dont worry .. He already knows that by now.

PS: The above heartwala zentangle was done by me, hope u liked it.

I am pretty sure during childhood all of us had a piggy bank. We used to start doing small chores to get those few coins from parents, grannies , sometimes just stealthily take out the coins on the cabin just to see the piggy getting full. And shake shake shake just to hear the tinkling of those coins. Who knew that we were making memories.I feel childhood memories are like piggy banks , small fun things become beautiful lifetime memories . And when looking back through these memories when we are all grown up, it brings back the innocent smile .

And thats what i want to give my Mr.Big boy (he claims he is), lots and lots of good childhood memories.That he never will need to find solace in anything else, when he grows up all he has to do is just close his eyes and think about his childhood ( like his dad- he can recall even the minute deatils of his childhood which even his parents dont remember) or maybe takeout an album and look through the pictures (like his mom).

What more better than travelling with his grandparents.( But think about us , its like travelling with 3 kids {hope i could insert some emoticons here}). ya ya and this was his first long distance outing with his grandparents.

AbuDhabi- the capital of UAE is about 140 kms from Dubai.Though we are residing in Dubai since a year this was our first visit to the capital. Ofcourse we had been postponing so that we can plan a day trip when rest of the family joins us during the vacation.

Though i have tried to include few things about each place. Please do visit their websites for confirmation before planning your trip.I have provided the links at the end of each section.

We had prebooked a taxi from Dubai.

1.Emirates park Zoo and resort

Our first stop and we spent about 3 hours.It is a medium sized zoo with quite variety of animals.The basic ticket at present is priced at 30dhs for children more than 2 years and adults.There were elephants, giraffe,zebra, white tigers, lions, oryx ( national animal of UAE) .They also have a small aquarium and reptile house with display of fishes and turtles.The most exciting activity for the toddler was feeding the goats. Yes they do sell food for the animals which costs about 10 dhs for a bundle of grass.There are specific time schedules for feeding few e animals like the giraffe and zebra.

They do also have elephant shows and animal rides for which u need to upgrade the ticket.

Though they are not much options for lunch, there are a few cafes inside and eateries attached.We had our lunch in Pizzeria attached to the zoo as they had few good vegetarian options.They also have resort facility if u want to stay back and give your family an experience to cherish.

Next we had a stop at marina eye. It is the worlds largest moving wheel with height of about 196ft (60 mts). It is located just opposite the famous Marina mall.The ticket at present costs 50dhs for adults and 30dhs for children below 12. The wheel takes u three circles. The view was of abudhabi along with the nearby islands. It was beautiful though i wouldn’t put it as breathtaking. Guess who enjoyed the ride the most… The little one.. no his grandparents.U should have seen their faces ,like they were on top of the world.

The next was emirates palace hotel. They have a guided tour of the hotel , however with charges . It is not all year round and depends on the hotels bookings etc. So please enquire the previous day of your trip whether they have a schedule on next day.. We were unlucky as they didn’t have a tour on that day. But still its still good to stop by as u can click photos outside and also just opposite to this is the Etihad towers ( picture below) which made an appearance in the movie fast and furious 7 -.so u can just pose up ,say cheese and click click, click.

4. Heritage village

This is a small village like setting of ancient UAE. There is a small museum showcasing their ancient tools, utensils, weapons, attire and so on. It opens behind into a beach where u can again click scenic pictures. We spent around half an hour in this place.

This is the main motive behind the AbuDhabi trip. Marvellous architecture,spell bounding pillars, chandeliers, walls. It is built in white marble with colored marble artwork on its pillars and walls.They have the largest chandelier made of crystals, largest handwoven carpet .The mosque is open for public visits only during evenings on Fridays. Rest of the days it is open both in mornings and evenings except during the prayer timings. They have a very strict dress code to be followed. So carry a scarf/ duppatta to cover your head. U need to wear full sleeves,so ladies carry a coat if u are not wearing a full sleeve.However they do have option where ladies can borrow the traditional dress from the premises to enter the mosque. .And no half pants for both men and women. Please go through their website to know the dress code to be followed. They even have illustrations on the website for appropriate dressing. They also provide free walk in guided tours of the mosque at scheduled timings.We spent around 90 mins looking around the mosque.

Other important attractions we didn’t put on our list was Ferrari world , Yas waterland as we had our parents and little boy on board with us. But if u are looking out for some adventure then this is a must and on the top of your list.

All of us were exhausted and put me into bed mode by the end of this trip but ofcourse with a beautiful day, happy memories.

PS: I know the pictures are not good enough for a blog but they were taken randomly on phone before i started blogging.

“Mamma I love you .. I care for u ” this was what my 5 year old told me giving this as soon as he was back from school.He did not know the reason behind this small gift but i knew he meant it and reminded me that i need to take care of myself .

The pink ribbon worn in the month of October as a part of breast cancer awareness month in support of women with breast cancer.

Y wait till October to become aware .Let us do it right now.

Breast cancer is the most common cancer among women world wide.But how much do we know about it ??. There is still so much need and scope for awareness.We do not take it seriously in the subcontinent unless we know someone who is suffering from cancer or is on treatment .

But before u read ahead please remember that when u find a breast lump , it does not always mean cancer, there are many other causes for a lump in breast which are more common than carcinoma. So do not panic. All u have to do is take immediate consultation with your doctor- surgeon or your gynecologist who will guide you further regarding what tests you may require based on your individual condition.

So here i am sharing some things about breast carcinoma which may help us fight it together.

Breast cancer is treatable when detected early. So awareness is a crucial part.

The first step is self breast examination- that is examining your own breasts to look for any lumps or signs of carcinoma.

All women above the age of 20 should be practicing this self breast examination.

Frequency? maybe once a month preferably the days just after your monthly menstruation/ periods is complete.

Here are simple instructions how it can be done.

Begin by looking at both breasts in mirror with hands on hips and shoulders straight. Look for their usual shape , size. Any nipple or skin changes.

Now do the same with your arms raised above your head. Also look for any nipple discharge.

Now feel the breasts while lying down.Use the tips of your fingers and keep them together. Use right hand for left breast and vice versa.You can use either circular motion or above downwards and side to side motion to cover the entire breast (from collarbone to top of your abdomen, from armpit to cleavage).

Now repeat the same either in sitting/standing position.

U can follow the link here for picture illustration of self breast examination

Next is screening,

Let me first introduce you to term screening . Screening is the medical term used when we look for a disease before it causes any symptoms or signs.So in this context we are looking for breast carcinoma in earlier stage even before it causes any symptoms or signs.

The tool used for breast carcinoma is called mammography. It is something similar (but not same) to radiograph/ x-ray of the breasts. It is started at the age of 40-45 years and then repeated every year. This applies to individuals with no family history of breast cancer /any other risk factors. If you have a known risk factor like anyone in the family has had carcinoma of breast or any radiotherapy to chest due to some other reasons then you may have to start screening at an earlier age.

Please discuss with your doctor when u have decided to opt for screening as they may be able to guide and suggest to you the nearest appropriate center and further details.

Once screening mammography is done , if the report is normal, u should be returning back for your screening next year with self breast examination in the between time.

If the mammogram shows any suspicious lesion, then your doctor will be guiding you to take further tests accordingly to confirm the lesion.

Make no mistake about it.. Enlightenment is a destructive process.. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier..It is the crumbling away of untruth..It is seeing through the facade of pretense..It is the complete eradication of things we imagined to be true..by Adyashanthi..

Sometimes it just takes a moment to realise the truth and sometimes decades of experiences, incidents and opportunities.

Though i am the same basic soul, i have evolved into a different person (read it as better person though i don’t expect everyone to agree) .

It all started with my journey to Singapore and then the trip to London reinforced it. yes i love exploring cities, travel around the world, learn new things.

And then we moved to Dubai, where i started exploring myself to realise i had protocolled myself wrongly.

I started my culinary journey around 6 months ago. Learning, cooking , experimenting new flavours and cuisines. Ya previously i did cook ,to fill the tummies but this was different.I had my own doubts about the sustainability but it still is continuing. I do instagram my culinary journey in the account name home_makers_ring. So please do follow me if it interests u and keep me motivated. I have long way to go before i do food blogging/ do my own recipes.

And now here i am blogging . Hope to keep up the project and see where it takes me.

U don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step , because every step in right direction counts.

What can u expect from my blog?

Though i suppose its too early for me to pinpoint. I would rather say few posts will definitely be about Dubai ( read it as mydubai) , kids , health , food or any other random subject that interests me.Hope you will follow my blog and keep me going.