How did the world exist, thrive even, before Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! was created? And what will the world do now that we’ve experienced it? Life will truly never be the same.

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies is that classic story of boy meets stripper, boy becomes zombie, stripper kills zombie. An excellent setup for a zombie comedy (zom-com, to use the cultural vernacular).

If you can stomach the low budget, if you can handle the ridiculous dialogue delivered with tongue practically piercing cheek, if you’re up to the outrageously bad special effects, and if you like strippers, pimps, and crackwhores (this Zombiephile certainly does), you’re ready for Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

Don’t be smackin’ the booty buggy, bitch!

When an experimental super space-crack starts turning regular crackwhores into zombie crackwhores, it’s up to a ragtag bang of strippers, pimps, prostitutes and the men who solicit them to survive the zombie outbreak barricaded inside of their local strip club. Certainly nowhere near as polished as classic zom-com greats like Shaun of the Dead, this movie still manages to pull off a meta-textual quality that makes it rise to the top of this Zombiephile’s pile of recent zombie movies - because honestly there’s little in the world he likes better than cheap, trashy, undead chicks.

With show-stoppingly poor dialogue (My personal favorite: “I have had it with these motherfuckin’ zombies in this motherfuckin’ strip club!”), delivered with all the enthusiasm of…whatever it is that crackwhores normally say, this movie is - well, it’s lots and lots of fun. I can’t resist sharing another line of dialogue that just couldn’t go unprinted:

Space-Crack Scientist:“Do you know what I do here?”

Hero:“Sure, you make crack that turns whores into zombies.”

“Them ain’t crackwhores, them bitches is crackwhore zombies!”

So the next time you’re thinking of taking a hit of space-crack, think twice - you could turn into a zombie, moaning around the daytime door of your favorite local strip club. Which isn’t all that bad a way to go, I suppose, as zombie outbreaks go.

For its ridiculous premise, outrageous boysenberry-syrup gore, and one incredible topless zombie-stripper fight scene, this Zombiephile gives Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! a spirited 2.5 moans out of 5 - which is actually pretty good, considering that we’re talking about a movie where a john actually pulls his car up next to a zombie prostitute, lets her in the passenger side door, and then has his penis bitten off. Sweeeeeet!