Heidi Montag’s video debuts big on iTunes

Somehow Heidi Montag’s video “Higher” reached No. 7 on the iTunes Top 100. It’s official. The terrorists have won. In the meantime, Heidi had initially said she was thrilled people commented on the video but in reality she drowned her fake breasts in tears. Us Magazine reports:

“I just started sobbing uncontrollably,” The Hills star tells Us.
“I cried myself to sleep that first night after my video came out,” she says. “I just couldn’t understand why people I didn’t even know felt the need to be so cruel and hurtful toward me.”
“I am just a 21-year-old from a small town in Colorado trying to follow her dreams,” Montag says.

Heidi also revealed the technical prowess employed by the video’s director Spencer Pratt:

“We were at the beach and, literally, Spencer had his camera and a boom box in the trunk,” Montag recalls of the amateur shoot in October. “We did it in one take, maybe two, and it took us 20 minutes to film and cost us zero dollars.”

A boom box was involved? Whoa! That changes everything. Here I thought some ass-clown just videotaped his tone-deaf girlfriend rolling around the beach in a bikini. But all this time advanced boom box technology was being used. Spencer Pratt, I underestimated you. Please show up to my house to receive my well-earned respect.*

*Respect subject to change and may be substituted for a brick in the face. Brick subject to be on fire.