There seem to be discussions regularly about motivation and whether to think of NoS as a weight loss plan. Here are my thoughts:

1. Most people will not lose and keep off weight with the only motivation being to lose weight. Health scares will sometimes do it, but not always. I think you have to decide that you really don't like the way you are living and the relationship you have with food. You may be tired of bingeing, dieting up and down or you may just be tired of getting bigger and bigger. I know I feel better about myself when I am lighter and not being controlled by food. Mistakes I have made in the past have been to have a number in my head that was what I needed to weigh or a clothing size to aim for, and when I was younger they were totally unrealistic for my body type. NoS allows your body to find its own appropriate weight and size as you learn to eat in a way that most people have followed in trim cultures for generations.

2. Yes you have to eat fewer calories to get to a healthy size. The good news is that NoS takes care of that automatically as you incorporate the rules. I had to learn to wait until the next meal to eat instead of snacking. I had to learn to stop after one plate. This meant changing lots of habits. No more eating over the sink or in the car or cleaning off children's plates or nibbling while cooking. The rules are simple, but I had to unlearn many habits.

3. Then there is the No Sweets rule. Waiting until an S Day to have a sweet treat is tough if you have been used to daily treats. And most of us are not able to eat just "one." I have had to impose a no sweets in private rule for S Days because I can put away an entire recipe by "evening out the pan."

4. So if we are eating 3 plates without snacking or seconds and are limiting sweets to S Days, our calorie intake will be obviously less than before. If we are not losing then I think the binge problem still has to be addressed. For some of us even after getting N Days within the boundaries, the S Days had to be tackled. At first, I would plan all week long what I was going to buy or bake (still food obsessed) and then of course, I would overdo it. The S Days gone wild problem! It is a success not to be out of control all week, but 2 days of excess will actually cause me to gain and undo whatever I lost during the week and it is depressing. When the N days are consistently under control, then S days need to be addressed. I had to be reminded that it is "except on S Days SOMETIMES" and also I made a rule not to eat trigger foods in private.

5. The final obstacle for me to overcome was what actually went on my plates. I had to learn how much to eat to get me to the next meal. And then the time came to back off on the caloric density if I wanted to eat healthier or lose those last pounds.

6. I summary, I want to encourage all the new folks to be patient with themselves. There are many habits to replace, and I wasn't successful with all of them at once. Even though there may be failures and no weight loss at times, as well as regressions, there are still many successes as we go through the process. Just think of all those changes being made. Those successes are what will carry us into maintaining weight loss, and the rest of our lives we can have a healthy relationship with food.

I've just started and this is really helpful. Thank you for sharing what you've learned.

I love your additional S Day rule of not eating trigger foods in private, and I plan to adopt that. I know, for example, that I can eat frozen yogurt at home alone and it's fine (it may be a sweet but it's not a trigger food for me), but eating certain flavors of ice cream at home alone will probably not end well.

I also want to stop eating unless I'm sitting down and paying attention. It's nuts if I think that's "deprivation." It will be changing some habits, but that's not the same thing as sacrificing.

Ultimately, my goal is just what you said: have a healthy relationship with food. Hoping to also lose a few pounds along the way!

Tex, i feel like you've read my last entry on my journal and wrote this for me! I've been wondering how things are for those who have been on No-S for many years and it's great to read about your experience.

I'm having a hard time with no snacking even though i'm losing weight. In the past being thin was my ultimate goal but now i aim for being healthy and feeling energized enough to live a good life without too much pain or tiredness. I had a HUGE health scare last year and it gave me a diferent motivation to change my lifestyle and relationship with food. I want to have a life in which food doesn't take over all my energy and sanity and i can actually have the mental space to enjoy my family, nature, friendships, art, etc. Food was getting in the way of all that, not my weight (of course being mobidly obese is hard, but it is harder to obsessed with food in my experience).

As someone very new to NoS (day 4), this is quite helpful. I'm already discovering that I have an unhealthy relationship between food and weight/the scale. I had a very moderate S day yesterday, yet I felt the need to get on the scale this morning and check my weight to see if the scale would "punish" me because I had some sweet potato fries with my dinner last night. Fortunately, I didn't!

You helped crystallize the issue. Obsessing about weight loss may work in the (very) short term, but I don't see how it's going to work for me in the long run. I need to focus on new habits, and enjoying my life, and then just checking in from time to time to see how my weight is trending. That's an even more radical change in my life than no snacking (which is a pretty dramatic change in itself) but perhaps equally important.

I am glad my experience has been helpful for a few. In view of full disclosure, I have to add that at times I do have to track my calories to see what is real. After all, my body is counting everything I eat, whether I am or not. HOWEVER, this is not a good idea until all the habits are in place and only then if you need some answers. I am over 70 years old now and it is a fact that I cannot eat as many dense calories as I could when I was younger. I also have a health issue that requires me to be sure I am getting enough nutrients. Just don't start with the counting because you have probably had too much food accounting in your life!

Also, the "scale" issue is very individual. If weighing is how you measure success, it is not a good idea. For me, I just do it daily and track to see trends. It is automatic and just another tool for me. I am used to all the ups and downs. But, the HABITS are the benchmarks. I am still in the "overweight" BMI category, but I think I look just fine. I feel trim and I like the way my clothes fit. If I lost the 10 lbs. "they" say I should I know I couldn't maintain it and I would be hungry and grouchy all the time, and since I am old, I would probably be all wrinkly! In case any older ladies are interested there is a bmi scale corrected by age and I am just fine on this scale. https://www.smartbmicalculator.com/

My doctor wants me to lose so I'm back to the weight i had been successfully maintaining not too long ago. I completely agree with him and am ready now to work at it. In fact, my doctor was the one who recommended No S!

I know that I felt much better at that lower weight, even though my current weight is still technically at the high end of the normal BMI range. BMI can be a useful tool, but it has limits. I have a narrow frame and canâ€™t carry as much weight as someone else at the same height might be able to. There is a testimonial in the book from a woman who said her weight had been creeping up and she was at the high end of normal BMI and feeling miserable, and I thought, thatâ€™s me as well!

Sometimes I can go on the scale and emotionally itâ€™s just interesting feedback as to where I am at the moment. But i can tell I'm not in one of those times. I think if I can start seeing some success in losing and know that Iâ€™m on a good path, Iâ€™d feel differently. .

TexArk and I have known each otehr here one the board for a long time! My experience is very similar to hers. When I see newbies say they need to lose X amount of weight, I will sometimes just bite my tongue, but will sometimes say, you don't need to lose weight, you need to lose overeating. Because you can control overeating; you cannot always manipulate weight as easily. Like TexArk, my main motivation was to reduce feeling so crappy from bingeing or permasnacking. That was way more important than weight loss for vanity or even for health, for me. (If anyone has health problems, IMHO, s/he needs to take it very seriously and perhaps be tougher with No S much sooner.)

TexArk, are you going to copy-and-paste this to the testimonial thread?

Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

I just discovered this thread and I actually cried reading it as it seems so far away to be able to lose the binging cycle and get all those non-weight benefits mentioned, to have patience with myself.
I love that quote of having to lose overeating and not weight! I’m fat but if I didn’t lose a single lb but just the horrendous cycle of binging and self-hatred then I would absolutely count this as a successful diet.

Be sure to deal with the self-hatred side of things. Getting angry with oneself after a binge actually increases the chance it will be repeated. It is PART of the binge habit/cycle! Interrupting any cycle at any point helps weaken it.

No matter what, keep working your N days.

And you MAY have to go through phases, not a straight-line. Or not! The more you accept having to face down any urges, if they occur, and doing just that, the better. And if, you fail, see above...

Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2