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Topic : Foster Parenting

Are you a foster parent or interested in becoming one? Are you considering adopting your foster child? Share advice and support with others here.

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Foster parenting

My name is Mary and I'm a foster mom. My foster daughter was in my pre-k class 12 years ago. She was taken from her drug addicted mom 3 years ago and was in 2 homes before she came here with us. I adopted her on June 13, 2005 on her 16th birthday. We have our ups and downs but I must say that the biggest issues have come from working within a system that says they care for children but they really don't. The foster care system here in Ithaca, NY is just terrible. Sarah was with us a year and only one person came out and didn't even ask to see her bedroom. For all they could have known she could be living in a dog house in the back yard. These child care systems are why so many children slip through the cracks and we only hear about the ones that get starved and end up in the news. In the 40 years I have been alive I have never seen so much incompetence in one agency. Now that I have adopted I don't have much to do with them other than getting back foster care payments never payed. The sad part is that because of this agency I will never foster parent again unless they are under new management.

Mary I know

Mary I know what you mean I have work for the foster care family take the kids back and to home vistit and saw it all the time, and the same kids for years and years. I fell sorry for the kids. Up and down and up and down. I wish they would do the tree times and your done. we have so meny that grow up in froster care and then their kids get in froster and the hole things start over. I have see family where the mom or dad where in froster and now the kids are in and they do not know the diffen I pray every night that the froster care get better. I'm happy to say that we have to kids and they know where their home is. If there is a place for me to call please let me know

Social Services

My name is Mary and I'm a foster mom. My foster daughter was in my pre-k class 12 years ago. She was taken from her drug addicted mom 3 years ago and was in 2 homes before she came here with us. I adopted her on June 13, 2005 on her 16th birthday. We have our ups and downs but I must say that the biggest issues have come from working within a system that says they care for children but they really don't. The foster care system here in Ithaca, NY is just terrible. Sarah was with us a year and only one person came out and didn't even ask to see her bedroom. For all they could have known she could be living in a dog house in the back yard. These child care systems are why so many children slip through the cracks and we only hear about the ones that get starved and end up in the news. In the 40 years I have been alive I have never seen so much incompetence in one agency. Now that I have adopted I don't have much to do with them other than getting back foster care payments never payed. The sad part is that because of this agency I will never foster parent again unless they are under new management.

Mary

Mary I can relate to some of what you said in your post but Social Services goes way beyound just ignoring the fact that children are in their care. DSS harms more than just the child or children, they actually harm the entire family in most cases. DSS does not care about what trauma or problems they cause the children from being removed from loving and caring parents. I would like to note here that DSS in chesterfield south carolina does infact take children out of loving and caring homes and they tell the foster parent any reason they want to why the children was removed. In south carolina it is illegal to tell the foster parents any information about the case but DSS still does do it.
DSS is not always truthful though and they will do what they want and say what they want. I am a Victim Parent of Social Services and I have lived through the illegal activities of Social Services. DSS removed our 4 children from our home based on nothing more than what DSS felt like saying. DSS said our children was isolated from the outside world and has never had any contact with any other child or adult ever. DSS got an Ex-Parte order for removal based on nothing more than their words. No proof, no evidence, No medicals, Nothing but their words. What DSS did was wrong and the statements they made was false and according to the law they have to prove what they say but yet DSS does this same thing over and over and never having to prove anything.
DSS does more though and the courts allow it as the more children that go in foster care and stay in foster care the more money the system gets which includes the lawyers, judges, and social services.
DSS made many false claims on court documents with no proof at all. DSS made claims my wife could not take care of her children due to her disibility and that she will admit she cant take care of her children. DSS has no right to do this but the judges and the state allow it to happen and nobody says anything. Does DSS have any medical degree ? does DSS have any documents from a medical provider ? The answers are NO they have nothing but what they say. The above is considered slander under the south carolina laws but yet the judges said nothing.
Our daughter who was 10 years old when she was put in care was put in the hospital 10 months after being in care. DSS did infact abuse and neglect our daughter by not doing anything about her being sick after in care. All DSS did was blame my wife for the whole thing in court. How could my wife abuse a child that is not even in our care ?? She Cant!!
Our children was put into foster care in March 2003 and our rights was terminated in Jan 2005 based on DSS making claims my wife refused to apply for her SSI check ( which was apply for in April 2004 ) and based on DSS saying we did not complete our treatment plan which was done before the merits hearing. The judge just took DSS's word for it and terminated our rights. DSS had proved nothing and just said it and the judges ignored anything we said in our defense.
DSS implimented an illegal treatment plan that we did infact do but DSS ignores the laws and did not impliment the treatment plan according to the law. Yes again we did do the plan but it was not good enough for DSS.
DSS has broken court orders for visitations with out children. Think the judge or the state said anything about this ?? No. DSS can pretty much do what they want to do and get away with it.
My wife and I in noway ever abused or neglected our children and I do actually have proof of what DSS did was illegal. I have filed a civil case on DSS and plan on filling criminal charges on them. I have no lawyer and any help anyone wants to give would be apprciated.
Mary just remember though that not all children belong in social services and not all parents abuse their children as social services claims. I personally have no faith in the system as my wife and I have seen how the system can destroy a honest, loving, and caring family.
-- James

Foster Parenting

Social Services certifies only those people they really want and find all kinds of ridiculous reasons not to certify foster/adoptive families. Our local agency denied us b/c of some mistakes my husband made in his past - we are fighting them because we don't think he should have to pay for those mistakes forever. We had many great references from people but that didn't matter. I think it's unfortunate that just because someone can't have children biologically that someone else can make a judgement on whether or not they can have children. I know that we are not perfect but what family is. We are praying that God will get us through.

Hi James

Mary I can relate to some of what you said in your post but Social Services goes way beyound just ignoring the fact that children are in their care. DSS harms more than just the child or children, they actually harm the entire family in most cases. DSS does not care about what trauma or problems they cause the children from being removed from loving and caring parents. I would like to note here that DSS in chesterfield south carolina does infact take children out of loving and caring homes and they tell the foster parent any reason they want to why the children was removed. In south carolina it is illegal to tell the foster parents any information about the case but DSS still does do it.
DSS is not always truthful though and they will do what they want and say what they want. I am a Victim Parent of Social Services and I have lived through the illegal activities of Social Services. DSS removed our 4 children from our home based on nothing more than what DSS felt like saying. DSS said our children was isolated from the outside world and has never had any contact with any other child or adult ever. DSS got an Ex-Parte order for removal based on nothing more than their words. No proof, no evidence, No medicals, Nothing but their words. What DSS did was wrong and the statements they made was false and according to the law they have to prove what they say but yet DSS does this same thing over and over and never having to prove anything.
DSS does more though and the courts allow it as the more children that go in foster care and stay in foster care the more money the system gets which includes the lawyers, judges, and social services.
DSS made many false claims on court documents with no proof at all. DSS made claims my wife could not take care of her children due to her disibility and that she will admit she cant take care of her children. DSS has no right to do this but the judges and the state allow it to happen and nobody says anything. Does DSS have any medical degree ? does DSS have any documents from a medical provider ? The answers are NO they have nothing but what they say. The above is considered slander under the south carolina laws but yet the judges said nothing.
Our daughter who was 10 years old when she was put in care was put in the hospital 10 months after being in care. DSS did infact abuse and neglect our daughter by not doing anything about her being sick after in care. All DSS did was blame my wife for the whole thing in court. How could my wife abuse a child that is not even in our care ?? She Cant!!
Our children was put into foster care in March 2003 and our rights was terminated in Jan 2005 based on DSS making claims my wife refused to apply for her SSI check ( which was apply for in April 2004 ) and based on DSS saying we did not complete our treatment plan which was done before the merits hearing. The judge just took DSS's word for it and terminated our rights. DSS had proved nothing and just said it and the judges ignored anything we said in our defense.
DSS implimented an illegal treatment plan that we did infact do but DSS ignores the laws and did not impliment the treatment plan according to the law. Yes again we did do the plan but it was not good enough for DSS.
DSS has broken court orders for visitations with out children. Think the judge or the state said anything about this ?? No. DSS can pretty much do what they want to do and get away with it.
My wife and I in noway ever abused or neglected our children and I do actually have proof of what DSS did was illegal. I have filed a civil case on DSS and plan on filling criminal charges on them. I have no lawyer and any help anyone wants to give would be apprciated.
Mary just remember though that not all children belong in social services and not all parents abuse their children as social services claims. I personally have no faith in the system as my wife and I have seen how the system can destroy a honest, loving, and caring family.
-- James

I agree with what you said about DSS. My neice is fighting the system as well. Her children have been in 3 different foster homes in a period of 4 months. No one could handle her children (because her oldest (5 y/o) was acting out due to "separation anxiety" according to his counselor. DSS gave her her children back. My neice did all the things required of DSS, counseling, drug test, parenting classes etc..when they gave her her kids back, but now again because of her ex friends making false accusations on her they want her kids. This time she got up and moved to another state. Our whole family cannot see her or her children. They are gone. BUT, get this, DSS knows she has left he state, but her ex friends have called in on her again making false accusations against her and they know she is not even in the state but DSS wants her again. What's wrong with this system? She has never abused her children or neglected them, but that is what they are going on is because that is what the ex friends keep saying. I know a site that can help you and give you some valuable information concerning your rights and childrens rights and how to fight the system. Type in: fighting cps on your web page and look for the link that says: fighting cps and false accusaitons. There is a message forum you can go to and get all the help you need. Or type in on your web browser: fighting cps message forum and you will find the message forum . That is where you want to go to look and get information. Good luck

Hello jb7ctx

The problem with social services is they THINK they dont need any proof of any claims. My landlord ( I rent the property but own my own home ) reported that I was being evicted which is one reason DSS came to my home to begin with. You think DSS checked the ploice department to see if any eviction existed ?? NO !! DSS just took his word for it and slapped it on court documents. See in 1999 I had the same problem with DSS but it was because my disabled wife gave birth to our 3rd son which was 100% healthy. We went to court as I refused DSS to enter my home and my wife had complications after giving birth. We went to court and we won and DSS was court ordered ... Now get this they was court ordered to " Leave the Stein Family Alone ". Yes DSS illegally entered my home with 2 officers in Jan 2003, the judge said nothing and the lawyers did nothing. Read the state websites and you will see over 80% of foster children that do go home within 6 months they are back in foster care. The reason for this is because DSS tells the courts they already have a open case on the family and the judge grants a court order based on that alone. .. Thanks for the help I will see what I can find.. I was trying to do the same thing to build a site for families but I have not had much time lately.. visit it at http://www.familiesandheroes.com

Hello

Social Services certifies only those people they really want and find all kinds of ridiculous reasons not to certify foster/adoptive families. Our local agency denied us b/c of some mistakes my husband made in his past - we are fighting them because we don't think he should have to pay for those mistakes forever. We had many great references from people but that didn't matter. I think it's unfortunate that just because someone can't have children biologically that someone else can make a judgement on whether or not they can have children. I know that we are not perfect but what family is. We are praying that God will get us through.

In cheaterfield south carolina they approve anyone and everyone to be foster parents. You see I have 4 children in 3 seperate homes for over 2 years. Our children are 5, 8, 10 & 11 years old and they also delt with seperation not only from their parents but their siblings also. DSS dont care how much damage they cause a child .. Anyways back to my point here.. DSS approved someone which is where my daughter was for 11 months, this same foster parent had every child in her home sick and this is the reason our daughter went in the hospital because she was not taken care of.. the bad thing is our daughter was still in the home for over a month after she was released from the hospital. It took a doctor to report her to remove her foster parent lic. This DSS will approve anyone and that does upset me that they dont care... what about the children that are actually abused and the REAL parents that DO care to take real abused children in .. does DSS care about this ?? NO !! Its all about Money and Control and nothing more. I have seen so many foster children abused it makes me sick and DSS atleast down here encourages it. I say if you think you qualify you should contact your state agency and go over the local one but in my opinion I would be perticular on what child I would bring in my home. I mean if DSS does not follow the law and approves who they what who is to say they are really taking REAL ABUSED CHILDREN ?? maybe they are just taking children like they do here to fatten the wallet some and control families as they see fit. -- James

Thanks ....

I agree with what you said about DSS. My neice is fighting the system as well. Her children have been in 3 different foster homes in a period of 4 months. No one could handle her children (because her oldest (5 y/o) was acting out due to "separation anxiety" according to his counselor. DSS gave her her children back. My neice did all the things required of DSS, counseling, drug test, parenting classes etc..when they gave her her kids back, but now again because of her ex friends making false accusations on her they want her kids. This time she got up and moved to another state. Our whole family cannot see her or her children. They are gone. BUT, get this, DSS knows she has left he state, but her ex friends have called in on her again making false accusations against her and they know she is not even in the state but DSS wants her again. What's wrong with this system? She has never abused her children or neglected them, but that is what they are going on is because that is what the ex friends keep saying. I know a site that can help you and give you some valuable information concerning your rights and childrens rights and how to fight the system. Type in: fighting cps on your web page and look for the link that says: fighting cps and false accusaitons. There is a message forum you can go to and get all the help you need. Or type in on your web browser: fighting cps message forum and you will find the message forum . That is where you want to go to look and get information. Good luck

I did find one with those keywords and I will do some more searching .. http://www.fightcps.com/ thanks for the help .. Question though and I am not a lawyer but I do have a civil case filed on DSS .. does anyone know why the media and the lawyers wont take anything to do with social services ?? I mean they have the resources to stop the " Government Kidnapers Of Children "..

James, here is the link

I did find one with those keywords and I will do some more searching .. http://www.fightcps.com/ thanks for the help .. Question though and I am not a lawyer but I do have a civil case filed on DSS .. does anyone know why the media and the lawyers wont take anything to do with social services ?? I mean they have the resources to stop the " Government Kidnapers Of Children "..

Type in http://forum.fightcps.com or click on this link. When the page opens click on Child Protective Services False Accusations/family rights v.... when that page opens click on CPS investigations and you will find alot of people on there who are going through what you are and even some people on there who can advise you on what you need to do. If the media wont help, write your story and publish it in the newspapers. Good Luck!

thanks

Type in http://forum.fightcps.com or click on this link. When the page opens click on Child Protective Services False Accusations/family rights v.... when that page opens click on CPS investigations and you will find alot of people on there who are going through what you are and even some people on there who can advise you on what you need to do. If the media wont help, write your story and publish it in the newspapers. Good Luck!

Yeah thats the site I found and already today someone may have helped me find pro bono lawyer.. I will see tomorrow when I call them if they can help.
Problem with the newspaper is it cost way too much. I am a website design and have been for 14 years until DSS released information on this case and lies online and destroyed my business.
Thanks again -- James