MLB Special: 12-1 ATS…Now you know!

Holy Shiznit! The Cubs & Sox both won last night…that’s about as likely as a day when a Cincinnati Bengal isn’t meeting with NFL commish Roger Goodell. The best thing about a 2nd straight victory for the Cubs with Sweet Lou suspended and the team chirpin’ how he’s meaner the Ronny Mexico’s top-dog is that we’re gonna start hearing how Alan Trammell needs to take over the club. In all honesty, no matter how much I luv a Pinella press conference or his sand-box fight with an umpire, I think he took this job thinking it was a perfect retirement party. As for the Southside, if the Sox don’t have a 4-run lead heading into the 9th, the bullpen is guaranteed to crap down their leg like Najah Davenport stuck in a closet. While I luv the Land of the Venezuelan Oz, I have a feeling he’ll threaten to kick GM Kenny Williams azz if he trades away half of his regulars by the deadline as we’re hearing. Sure, as a Sox fan that would suck, but could ya blame Kenny?

More importantly tonight, my softball squad The Smoke Daddy will try to find the win column for the first time this year, while I try to figure-out what concoction to mix in the cooler to rally the troops. What you thinking boyz, maybe a lil Maurice Clarett special…minus the guns?! Oh yeah, and much luv to Alfonso Soriano for givin’ me a half run cover last night…I plan to spit every two seconds, chew six pieces of gum, and swing a bat as big as Otis Wilson’s third leg in your honor tonight!

NEW YORK YANKEES @ CHICAGO WHITE SOX (OVA 10)
While I’ve already discussed how piss-poor the Southside bullpen has been, the Yankee Doodle BEEATCHES have a bunch of dudes in the pen I’ve never heard of who look like they’ve been on the Tank Johnson in the clink diet. Not a good sign with New York startin’ rookie Tyler Clippard who has only averaged 5 innings in his 1st three starts. As for the Sox, while Mark Buehrle has been an innings eater, besides his last start, he’s given up more hits than innings pitched over the last month and will probably not be as lucky against the big veteran bats of Joe Torre’s crew. Not to mention, the Yanks are another day removed from the pressurized Boston series. As for Chicago’s bats, they finally showed some life last night knocking out double-digit hits and 6 runs, while Paulie ‘Walnuts’ Konerko finally looks like he’s found that All-star stroke…Yankees/Sox 11-14 total runs

CHICAGO CUBS @ MILWAUKEE BREWERS (OVA 9)
When you look at the Cubs line-up on paper, it seems to be a lock that they’d score at least 5 runs a night versus sh*tty-azz pitching. While Brewers starter Claudi Vargas has surprised everybody with an ERA just under four so far, he’s shown some signs of his past inconsistencies allowing 29 hits over his last 21.1 innings. As for the Cubs starter Ted Lilly, he’s also come back to reality watching his ERA climb a full point OVA his last 3 starts and has allowed 11 runs in last 11 innings. Not to mention, I’m a huge fan of the young Brewers line-up and it helps that they hit 10 points higher versus lefties…Cubs/Brewers 10-13 total runs

KANSAS CITY AA ROYALS @ CLEVELAND INDIANS (-1.5 RUNS)
C.C. is pitchin’, the Indians are at home, and the Royals still suck. I’ll gladly take the Tribe -1.5 runs…Indians by 3-6 runs