If I could change one thing about myself it would be my lack of patience.

I have a short fuse, a very short fuse. In fact I don’t think I have a fuse at all. My temper combusts instantly, it explodes with no warning.

However, just as quick as I have flown into my rage, hurling four letter words at top volume, the unfortunate recipient of my wrath has been blasted; it just as quickly dissolves and disappears.

The problem with this being that, the aftermath is much more damaging to the shattered people who have witnessed “The Big Bang”. They are standing with mouths agape and I expect them to accept my apologies and requests for forgiveness before they’ve even realised the sharpness of the pain I have caused.

I often feel that once I have apologised for my explosion, it can promptly be left in the past and I can move on.

This is selfish.

I know I need to take a step back and realise the magnitude of my eruptions. I wish I could know this before “The Big Bang” has happened. I wish I could monitor and gage when it is about to happen so that I can ring a fucking huge ass bell and warn myself to hold my tongue and censor words.