Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Watching our children suffer through illness and injury was one of the worst things we've endured in our lives. Now, though, I've discovered that watching a grandchild suffer is even worse. It is a double whammy because you love them and want to ease their suffering and then you look at your own adult child and see pain and worry and fear and tears and you want to ease that as well.

Cordelia has spent the last two nights in the hospital. She's endured a lot of miserable testing on top of her illness. The good news is she is improving and should be discharged this morning. Her parents can love her up in their own home and slowly return to normal.

Cordy's daddy was out of town so I spent the first night at the hospital with Maria and Cordy until he could get to them the next morning. That wasn't a sacrifice for me. I NEEDED to be there. What was hard for me was to not take over and try to be the mom. I really wanted that little girl in my arms the entire time. I wanted to hold her while she cried, hold her while she vomited and hold her while she slept. I don't know if it is the nurse in me or the mom in me, but it was a powerful force.

The only thing that kept me under control at all was watching my daughter with that same powerful force, that same need to hold and protect and comfort her child. I knew that my main job was to support my own daughter, to be there for her but to not be in the way of her need to mother. It was difficult to see her worry but it was also quite beautiful. She is such a gentle and loving Momma. She'd never been in such a situation as this but her instincts are good and she knew just how to comfort her baby. I am very proud of her.

Cordy is a lucky little girl because she is blessed with a great daddy as well.