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Monday, January 14, 2008

Investment Opportunity

Good News. I received important information of both financial and geopolitical importance. I received a publication titled Profitable Uranium Stock Newsletter so that I can learn about investing in Uranium stocks. I quote, “You're about to witness a crisis of staggering proportions. The world will consume nearly 200 million pounds of uranium in 2007, while uranium mines will produce only around 100 million pounds.” Pretty exciting stuff, I must say.

It also informs me that Uranium stocks are spiking right now, and thankfully, it tells me which stock to buy on which exchange. Of course, I will not publish this information on the web as I want to keep this ultrasecret information to myself so I can reap massive wealth from clever and cunning investment strategy and buy numerous Boeing 747's, which I will have fly me all over the world consuming the World's remaining petroleum reserves and driving the demand and price of uranium higher and higher further enriching me and making me super-ass rich. Okay, I'll tell you the name of the stock but you have to keep it secret. It's CAUI which is traded on OCTBB exchange, an exchange I have never heard of before, and trading on will probably get you investigated by the SEC. I assume they meant OTC.BB the over the counter exchange, but I will grant that they may know things I do not.

But there's more! In case you weren't convinced, there are 8 reasons to own OCTBB:CAUI. Number 3 states, “CAUI recently announced that they have secured $1.6 financing.” One dollar and sixty cents financing is a ton of money, and will probably pay for one of the employees bus fare for his ride to his office which is located in a largely abandoned industrial park in a condemned building where he's hijacked the utility pole outside to steal electricity and keep the phones working so he can spend four hours of his day calling retired people in Florida and try to bilk them out of their retirement savings.

“This Uranium Stocks fever is growing like never before and you can see many public companies listed on the TSX exchange but you have less Uranium companies listed on the OCTBB than the fingers on your hand.”

There is also an extensive Disclaimer on the back, stating amazing things. Most impressive is the claim of the Disclaimer that “This is not an offer to buy or sell securities.”