Hey gang!Don't plan on eating while reading or divulging stories in this thread..If you've ever been a parent of small kids/babies, worked for a hospital, been a custodian, or something like the above then you definitely have experience in cleaning up unpleasant fluids/waste. (or maybe animal owners!) Let us hear your horror stories! What was the WORST you had to clean up? What way did you go about cleaning the mess up?

The worst I'd seen it in my years working at the hospital, was in the cardiac/catheter operating room. Yuck.. it absolutely looked like a brutal killer did his work and took the body. Blood EVERYWHERE. Great big POOLS of it on the floor. I had to take 2 full gallons of germ killer and empty them out on the floor and then take FOREVER to mop it all up. I wasn't even supposed to work in there; I was helping someone out who was getting behind. Yuck.

I also had a moment in the Post-op ward, where a patient pooped out part of their colon onto the restroom floor. That didn't take terribly long to clean up but it sure was gross.

One Sunday morning about 19 years ago, my twin daughters and my wife all got hit with a stomach virus at the same time. My poor spouse couldn't do anything but hold her stomach, groan, and stagger to the bathroom every ten minutes, usually making it in time. My daughters, between them, soiled sixteen diapers between 7 AM and 10 AM, when I left them to the mercies of our babysitter and RAN out the door to church. Our house smelled of poop for a week!

There is a streetlights main box on the road below my building which bypassers sometimes use as a public urinal. I caught someone relieving himself against it about half an hour ago and told him to go pee elsewhere.

I really wish that the mains box would short out while some dumb ass was peeing on it

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As time goes by, you will seeThat we're going to be free, you and meWe'll touch the skyCan you see in your mind's eye that we are oneWe're all the same and life is just a simple game.

Years back I was working on a horsefarm when they acquired the neighbouring property to expand the business. Two large barns and a house. We (the staff) were told to clean up the buildings and prep them for use. The older barn was what is known as an 'English' barn - typical 'Old MacDonald'-style with a hip roof and large loft. When we went up into the loft we found it dotted with mounds of human excrement. Seems the previous help opted to deal with the lack of toilet facilities by relieving themselves up there. All over the place on the loose hay. At least they had used toilet paper - sometimes. Piles of what looked for all the world like dog faeces crowned with jaunty little tufts of white. And we were supposed to clean it up...

Another barn about the same time: it was going to be torn down for development so they were selling off the fittings: stalls, hardware and so on. Huge horse barn (44 stalls, I think) that had sat empty for some years. We went in to check out the wood (it was elm!) and every horizontal surface was covered three to six inches deep in raccoon poo. The tops of walls, all the shelves, feeders, tops of doors. It was astounding. I have never seen anything like it. The manager told us we'd have to clean and remove whatever we wanted to purchase, ourselves. Have to admit I regret we did not just suit up hazmat-style and dig in to get that wood.

I should get this dude I know named Rob to come post here. He'd eat this topic up. In doing research for his graphic novel he even went out of his way to make friends with this man in Los Angeles who runs a company that cleans up violent crime scenes. Every time he does a job out there he sends pictures and descriptions to my friend, who just lives for that stuff. The rule is, if Rob tells me anything the man tells him, he might be needing his services himself. Not my thing...

I just "loved" cleaning public restrooms when kids would poop their pants and the parents would just take off their soiled garments and toss them onto the floor and leave.Or when people would wipe and throw soiled TP in the trash.

I once read a post by someone extolling the hardiness of his Rolex Sea-Dweller. He was a mechanic who worked for the Air Force, and he said something to the effect that, 'my watch has been covered in blood, vomit, grease, jet fuel and solvent, and still works great'. All I could think of was 'poor watch!'

A business colleague and I were staying in a privately-owned apartment on trip out of town. The conditions of stay that the place be left in good order, or a cleaning fee would be imposed. The morning we were due to leave, I set about cleaning the shower, and noticed what looked like a large brown beetle on the white plastic flooring. I drenched it with water to wash it down the drain, only to find that only the edges moved a bit. After some more swishing of water, it finally dawned on me that it wasn't a beetle. Both of us had used the shower that morning, and I don't remember having any 'loose passengers', so I'm sure it wasn't me...

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"Many others since have tried & failed at making a watchable parasite slug movie" - LilCerberus

In my last year of high school (1984: ) a pushcart driver came to our school daily and sold cold Cokes and delicious warm Chelsea buns to the hungry students at break time: no cafeteria in Zimbabwe high schools, unfortunately.

After a week or so of this, my friend Aaron pulled me off to one side and told me that I shouldn't buy from the guy at all, explaining that I should stand behind the seller and see what he did before he sold the Cokes and buns. So I did so: I saw that the seller had a few large pimples on the back of his neck, which he would surreptitiously squeeze the pus out of and then covertly wipe his fingers on the bun before he handed it to the buyer.

I haven't eaten a Chelsea bun since.

« Last Edit: February 23, 2015, 03:43:33 AM by Trevor »

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As time goes by, you will seeThat we're going to be free, you and meWe'll touch the skyCan you see in your mind's eye that we are oneWe're all the same and life is just a simple game.

One Sunday morning about 19 years ago, my twin daughters and my wife all got hit with a stomach virus at the same time.

That happened at my house two or three years ago - all four of us (myself, wife, and both kids) got hammered with an absolutely bruuuuuutal stomach bug in the same weekend. Fortunately we have two bathrooms in the house, cuz one or the other was "in use" by someone for two days straight. We still speak of it in tones of awe to this day, we wouldn't wish that on our worst enemy.

On a somewhat lighter note - when my youngest (who just turned 7) was small, he and his big bro used to take baths together in the same tub. This ended when he was around 2 and big bro was 5, cuz Little Guy decided to "drop a clanger" while he was in the tub. Fortunately big brother had just gotten out of the tub moments before...