Tag Archives: shopbop.com

Hello my lovely pr0n puffins. I’m so sorry for being absent these past days – I’ve had a touch of blogger’s block. I keep starting posts and deciding they’re just not worthy of you! But to paraphrase the immortal words of the Goddess Nike: just do it.

Calvin Klein Kenney Gown, $429.60

To that end, this is the first of two posts today – ShopBop.com is giving you 20% off all items that are currently 70% off. Confused? Go here. Find something you love. At checkout enter code 20off70 before 11:59 on Thursday the 19th – save another 20%.

As always here at ShoppingPr0n, we shop so you don’t have to. I’ve taken the liberty of pulling the cream of the 70% off crop and I will deliver them into your greedy little laps.

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I try not to show very many high end items; until I know that I have a following out in Web-Land for them I assume I mostly don’t (if I do, speak up!). But occasionally a piece is too beautiful to resist.

Back View Calvin Klein Collection Kenney Gown

Calvin Klein is known for femininity in simplicity and elegance; this buttery yellow “Kenney Gown” is classic Calvin Klein Colelction. It’s a stretch silk (98% silk, 2% elastic; lining 100% silk) available in a size 6, made in Italy.

If you don’t understand what’s so special about this dress, look at the back. This gown was originally $1790.00, and it’s available for $429.

If you have a special once-in-a-lifetime event coming up: a non-traditional wedding maybe? A gallery opening? Choose a once-in-a-lifetime gown like Kenney.

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For a slightly more down to earth dress, consider this adorable mod “Pocket Pleat Shift Dress” by Milly. By now you know I’ll show you Milly any chance I get; really this blog is all about me. ;)

Milly Pocket Pleat Shift Dress, $108

The trick to getting really amazing deals is to be flexible; pick up this sleeveless shift for next fall and winter. As of this writing, it’s still available in a large, which is probably about an 8/10. Check the size chart, peanuts.

If you do invest in this dress, make sure you’re a person who can wear a natural waist (i.e. neither raised nor lowered). Generally you should be pretty proportional to do this, particularly with your torso.

Your dear blogger probably couldn’t pull this off because she has a very long torso. Short torsos should go for no waist, otherwise they’ll look cut in half.

(How do you know what you have? Do you wear one-piece bathing suits easily or do you find them too short/stop too low on the boobs. If you wore a pair of higher rise jeans, would it just look unfortunate or would it stop under your boobs? The former is long-waisted, the latter is short.) Michelle Obama looks great in natural waistlines.

Check out the inverted (inside-out) pleat in front (kind of hard to see), it’s a detail that I’m seeing more of. An inverted pleat should keep a skirt from looking too wide of boxy. Pair this one it with a a pair of brightly colored tights and a grey cardigan.

Maloles - Party Pochette $79.20 (orig. $330)

The wonderful thing about handbags is that every size is yours! Like this “Party Pochette” by Maloles.

A pochette is simply a pouch; Malole’s is bigger than it looks at 6″ x 11″. Most clutches are much smaller and not terribly functional, unlike this one which has 4 interior sections, an interior zipper pocket, and a zipper pocket under the flap.

I prefer it in pink (I prefer everything in pink), but it comes in silver, too.

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Leopoldo Giordano Folded Ornament Wedge, $130.8 (Orig. $545)

Shoes come in sizes, but they’re frequently seasonless! I know I’ve shown you these divine blue wedges from Leopoldo Giordano before, way way back when in Sales Pr0n: Dying of the Flu Edition, but they’re even more on sale now!

Pancakes, these are $545 shoes for $130! Please, won’t somebody think of the children and buy these shoes? And if you do, send me pictures! (Shoppingpr0n@gmail.com)

These patent leather wedges have a tab detail at vamp, and a seam detail at the 4″ covered heel. Made in Italy.

Your podiatrist will not approve, but who asked her? Oh – these are still available while they last in Euro sizes 38 -40.5 (about 8 -9.5).

Regular pr0nsters know how much I adore details like this: the smallest style change that can turn a very nice pump into a sublime one.

Suede is kind of a cold-season fabric, but it’s not like anyone’s going to send the Fashion Police after you for wearing it past March. It’s just a heavy fabric/cold season style generality.

Brown and black are still available sizes 36.5 and up, but not for long!

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Since I’ve shown you two “out of season” fashions, I’ll make it up to you with one more “in-season” top.

Karta Printed V Sleeveless Top, $74.88 (Orig. $312)

Surely this is one of the most unique tops I’ve ever seen. Karta’s Print V Neck Sleeveless Top is a black and white woven v-neck floral (lined), with a faceted-resin appliqué daisy on one side.

I love the way bright colors are being used to contrast against black here. The shirt is 25″ long, and on the model it stops just below her hips.

I feel like this top would be fun to wear to the Kentucky Derby with some retro pumps, a cute skirt and a big ol’ hat.

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Our time is up for the moment, my lovelies. I have one more post for you this evening: a product review. After that, hopefully I’ll be back on track.

By the way, Pr0nMom was supposed to go shopping for trouser jeans today, like the Lucky Brand ones I showed you in my most recent Outfit of the Day (erm – why didn’t you all tell me it said ‘Outfit of the Dayo’?). We all know how awful buying jeans can be, so let’s wish her luck!

Thanks for coming back my pr0n muffins. I’m dying of the flu and wanted to make sure I showed you these sales before I did. If I trail off mid-outfit, just administer apple juice.

I once read that everybody loves a parade; I’m not sure how they reached that conclusion. Frankly I’d like to see their research methodology,

Originally $395, now $198

but my point being that everybody likes a sale. Feel free to insert the comment of your choice about the recession here. Kind of like those Choose Your Own Adventure Books I used to read.

Remember the Fourth Rule of Shopping Pr0n: Just because something is 75% off, does not mean you need it. It’s very much related to the First Rule. Almost Rule 1a. My father taught me to ask myself this before buying something: Where will I wear it? If you don’t know, no matter how fabulous it is, put it back.

Take for instance this butter yellow cropped leather motorcycle jacket from Domaleather. Let’s look closely: slightly puffed shoulders, stitching detail at the neck and along the zipper, angled front pockets, 3/4 length sleeves with an elastic wrist, and a slim cropped fit.

RevolveClothing is selling this jacket in yellow (sizes M,L) and dark violet (which I might actually like more, size M only). This piece of art was originally $481 and is now $241.

Half off leather. *cries* Someone please buy this and send me a picture so I can pretend I’m you.

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Now here’s something you will wear over and over and over: From Thomas Pink‘s “Richard Nicholl’s Collection” is this “Ruth” women’s dress.

The image is crap, so click to see the full size one. This really is classic design at its best. Thomas Pink is top quality and style.

This is a 100% cotton shirt dress with trims on cuffs, pockets and hem, a pleated bib (just what you’d think it would be), roll up sleeves, self fabric covered buttons and detachable fabric belt. It looks gray, but it’s actually a black pinstripe.

These are UK sizes, but their handy dandy size chart will conveniently convert you. For future reference they go up to a U.S. size 18, but the highest this dress is in stock is a 16. Why? Well it was first selling for $500 (yes, that’s right) and it’s now $189. At better than half price, remember the Second Rule of Shopping Pr0n: Get it while it lasts. Supplies are limited, first come, first served.

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Now, almost all – if not all – of the shoes I’ve shown you here on the Pr0n (as I like to call it) have been heels. Often very high heels. (You know what they say: the higher the heel, the closer to God), but that’s really only because I haven’t found flats pr0nish enough to meet my standards for you, muffins! I care! Look at these and tell me they’re not the cutest things you’ve ever seen (go on – tell me.).

“Foxy Ballerina” from Marc by Marc Jacobs; once these beauties were $425, now they’re $213. And if you had $213, wouldn’t you spend it on these fuchsia (so hard to spell) or charcoal patent leather flats?

They’re actually a 1″ heel, which is better for your feet, and have a fox ear detail at the vamp with a square toe. They’re available for your foxy pleasure at Bergdorf Goodman.

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But really, really what makes my heart go pitter pat are a pair of drool inducing heels, like these at ShopBop.com. Please ignore the idiotic caption on the website; what you need to know is that these are “Folded Ornament Wedges” from Leopoldo Giordano. If I ever meet Leo, I’d like to hug him. That’s all. Just a hug.

It goes down like this: 4″ patent leather wedges in Blue or Taupe (get the Blue), made in Italy. Marked down from $545, these shoes-of-a-lifetime can be yours for $163.50.

There’s a tab detail at the vamp, and if you look closely you can see a seam detail along the heel. If you go to the website you can look at the shoe from all angles. *giggles* (No, you don’t need to tell me I lack maturity. I know.)

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Really good fashion is all about details. Details and quality. Details, quality and fit. Never mind – before this turns into the Spanish Inquisition, let’s look at this zip front skirt by Michen, which has all 3.

Take a beautiful wool/nylon/cashmere pencil skirt with a silk lining, add a waistband with a tortoise shell colored button, a bit of pleating just to kick it up a notch, and a zipper running on the diagonal, and you’ll have this skirt.

If you’re a size 4 or 6, head over to Tobi.com and plunk down your $150 for a half off skirt. This beautiful skirt is made in the U.S.A. used to be $301.

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One of the things I love, especially on bigger women, is a beautiful, large print in a bold color. Apparently the stylists at American Idol agreed, because they used this Diva Halter in red from Missphit.

.Admittedly, I find the clothing at Missphit hit or miss, but their hits are bullseyes, and so are their prices. This was originally $45, and it’s now $32.

This chiffon high neck halterneck actually has a full front and back lining so your not showing anything you don’t intend to (*cough*) and a smocked bottom band. It’s sized (and available) 1x-3x, which Missphit says is about a 14w to 24W. Can’t miss.

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.There’s another saying (Yes, another saying. Deal.): into every man’s life a little cashmere must fall. That’s right isn’t it? If you or someone you know needs a little cashmere to fall into his life, head on over to Bluefly.com.

If you’re a small or an extra-large, you’re in luck! Imagine slipping into this charcoal/silver/blue basketweave v-neck sweater by ADAM.

Original price: $375, the actual retail price of your showcase sweater is $179.99 for a small, $109.99 for an XL (No clue, don’t ask.)

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My friend and reader, Rachel, turned me on to LunaBoston.com, which is filled to the brim with different brands of handbags, shoes and accessories. Bright color is everywhere for spring, and it’s all over Lorelai’s “Madison” tote.

Madison comes in green only, with a bright pink fabric lining. Black and yellow sold out, and green is apparently available only in very limited quantities so don’t hesitate if you love this bag (Damn. I really should be on QVC.)

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.Men should not be afraid of a little color either. Take for instance this 1960s blazer from Juicy Couture. Now, can we all agree that this is in fact a nice blazer, and not over the top? Thank you. It’s just that my friend Deka over at That’s Hideous, found these truly atrocious Juicy ski goggles., and felt the need to denigrate Juicy. *snif*. So I felt the need to show her some very subdued Juicy.

I’d be happy to go on a date with any man wearing this blazer. It’s nice, it’s purple and I like purple, it’s stylish and proves he put some thought into his outfit, and it’s Juicy! Someone I’m on a date with wearing Juicy? Bonus! Either he dresses well or knows how to find someone who does, which is equally valid.

Anyway, they’re calling this burgundy, and cotton. It looks like corduroy to me, but it could just be a nubby cotton (yeah, i know corduroy is cotton). It once was $218, and it’s now $163.

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Before we wrap up, you must see this organic cotton and bamboo “Alison” dress from Sublet.

One thing you should know about your blogger is that she has ridiculously sensitive skin. I wear very little wool, no angora or lambswool (which I guess is a type of wool). Your dear blogger only wears cotton, silk, cashmere, or soft synthetics. So I’m adoring all the new clothing that’s coming out in organic cotton and bamboo. Bamboo! Who knew?

This dress is just sexy as all get out. It does have a deep v-neck, so if you can’t wear stick-on boobies or similar, put a silk or cotton cami underneath. This is beautiful detailing that is great to expose an upper body and camouflage what’s going on below the waist.

Oh – the site I found it at is The Green Loop.com. They were selling the dress for $242, and it’s now $121 in black. Made in the U.S.A.

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It wouldn’t be pr0n without lingerie (plus it gets me site hits). I searched high and low for some lovely cotton lingerie on sale, but it was not to be found. So we’ll skip the sale and go for the comfy and sexy from sheandme.com.

How yummy are these boyshorts that are solid in the front and pattern in the back, with a little lace trim? The solid comes in pomegranete, ivory, mocha, navy, chocolate and sienna. 94% modal, 6% spandex, made in the U.S.A $30

Happy bargain hunting, my little pr0nistas!

As always, it was good for me; tell me: was it good for you?

Next time on ShoppingPr0n (if I survive the flu): More Pr0n Plus – Only the best plus sized pr0n.

It’s good to see you my little pr0n dumplings. Did you miss me? Say you did. Tonight’s post is what this blog is all about: pure pr0n. No holds barred, the best of the best of the fashion the web has to offer at any price from any designer. The only requirement is that it gets your engine running: heart rate faster, pupils dilated, slightly flushed – the whole nine yards. But enough talk, let’s get busy.

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I have good news, dumplings; I’m in love. It’s true: I’m in love with a handbag. This is via the store/site Hayden-Harnett NYC , which I’d never heard of until I read Shopahol Hangover, and really – who among us hasn’t had a fashion hangover? Amirite?

Be warned this is a slim tote. “Din?” I hear you asking, “What means this ‘slim tote’? What are the implications for me?” Due time, dumplings. Due time.

What it means is that a) the handle drop is 3.5 inches. This bag is meant to be carried jauntily in the crook of your arm. “But Din,” I hear you ask, “I can’t carry much if it’s hanging on the crook of my arm.” Precisely, lumpkins.

This “Oryx Clutch” is meant “for a night on the town”. At 1.5″ deep, there’s enough for a light cardigan, your cell phone, wallet, condoms (we have had this talk, haven’t we?), and perhaps a pair of slippers for when those fabulous pumps feel a wee bit less than fabulous. $325, coincidentally ships 3/25.

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But my love is fleeting and fickle. From the people at Simply Yours who brought you Gok Wan, comes Simply Be for plus-size clothing like this Big Button Jacket, available in (UK) sizes 14-32!

This jacket is made in machine washable, uber-soft velour and is fully lined. Looks like 3 buttons with a tab closure on the bottom. It’s car-coat length, so it’s hitting around mid-thigh.

The jacket comes in three colors – this is Ochre; there’s also Burnt Orange and Green, which is sort of…minty.

Let’s talk turkey £50, which Google tells me is about $72.00 these days. Sadly, Simply Be does not ship to the U.S. yet, but I’m thinking about a Pr0n Cultural Exchange program.

If someone wants to buy from Simply Yours or Simply Be, contact me and I’ll see if I can arrange for a UK friend to ship in exchange for sexual favors my undying love and a favor to be returned later.

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But my lovely lemons cannot go naked underneath their new coats! No no, that will not do. And so I give you this actual vintage 60’s red wool knit suit, courtesy of Couture Allure. When I say actual vintage, I mean actual vintage. There’s one of these, so if you want it – go get it. We’ll still be here.

The chest is 40″, the waist is elasticized, so it’s 30″ not stretched out. I would add several more inches to that in terms of actual capacity. The sleeves are 18″ from the shoulder seam, so 3/4 length? and the top is meant to be looser than the skirt, which is 20″.

It’s 100% wool with a side zipper on the skirt. Check out the website for actual condition information, but it’s $55.00. Pr0n Approved.

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Now, my under size 14 pr0nistas love vintage as well, and I have something for you. Can you say Vintage ’60’s DIOR?? Let me repeat myself VINTAGE DIOR, PEOPLE. I’m calm – I’m calm. This is an original Christian Dior from the 1960’s sold by Neiman Marcus. The fabric is tobacco brown in ribbed silk (ribbed silk!)

Please look at the detail on this dress. The darting at the bust that leads down to the side seaming. The skirt portion hits at low waist with a pleated bow detail. The bodice is a scoop neck with cap sleeves. *sigh*

“The dress closes with a center back metal zipper and has a brown China silk lining. It is interlined in cotton batiste for added body.”

The measurements are kind of interesting; they’re not what you typically see in sizing today. Bust – 37″, waist 27″, hips 40″. Shoulder to waist – 16″, shoulder to shoulder 16″. I’m envisioning someone curvy and petite in this dress.

If you have a special occasion coming up, look no further – plunk your $450 right here.

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Why don’t we finish these outfits? Try these green and yellow tear drop dangles from ShopTwigs.com. Or these simple yellow stone earrings, also from Shoptwigs.

The teardrops combine yellow and lime green; wear them with neutrals, wear them with anything that has either color in it, wear them with navy – just wear them!

Originally $163, they’re on sale for $82. (Makes me want to get my ears re-pierced).

The yellow stones, which are just so classic and will go with anything are 3/4″ wide with a 1″ drop, and sell for $110.

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Both these dresses cry out for a wonderful pump (Can you hear the dresses crying, Clarice?) For the vintage red wool, I recommend simplicity and modernity, both of which you can find in these suede Bottega Veneta platform pumps.

Did I mention they were suede? Yes, well – 4.5″ heel with a 1″ platform (remember pumpkins, that means it’s going to feel like a 3.5″ heel).

They have an almond shape toe, cone shaped heel and a molded platform and heel. You can purchase them for $690 at Net a Porter. Save the economy, buy Bottega Veneta!

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The Dior calls for something more delicate – Dior generally does. One must be a lady in Dior. Once you’re out of the Dior, all bets are off – I’m just saying. These red patent leather Jimmy Choos are all wrong but I’m showing them to you anyway. Because it’s my blog; I can do that.

Ah, men! I’ve neglected you! Unless you have a shoe fetish in which case you should be all set.

Well that was exciting. I opened up my men’s file and found…a belt. Fear not! I come bearing pr0n. Feast your eyes on this Vintage by La Rosa ’60’s car coat.

This is a mint condition original car coat from the ’60’s. Traditional collar, long sleeves with rolled cuffs and decorative buttons.

Chest width from underarm to underarm is 20″, sleeve length from shoulder to cuff is 24.5″, and length from neck to hem is 40″.

La Rosa is a vintage boutique on Haight Street in San Francisco, so if you’re nearby – stop in! If not, head over to eLuxury.com and make sure you have $400 available, credit or debit.

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.If vintage isn’t your bag, never fear. Barney’s Co-op is here! I’d love to see my suitors in this Marc by Marc Jacobs Happy Face Cardigan. Exclusively at the Co-op (man that cracks me up. $900 clothes at a “co-op”), this light grey cotton v-neck cardigan sweater has a contrast yellow placket , two front pockets and a happy face logo over the left chest.

It’s also available in sort of a heathered gray with a contrast pink placket. Equally cute!

Why not slip on a pair of dark jeans and these Alexander McQueen bark zip-up ankle boots, and call that special gal pal of yours to go out for a malt?

.Now it seems to me that every time I feature lingerie, my hits go up. Maybe you all are just a bunch of pervs, but as long as you keep reading, I really don’t care.

Besides, I want to show you this handmade cami and shorts from On the Inside (via Smashing Darling):”Sassafrass” cami and “Forget Me Not Panties”. Each are handmade in New York City, and the pantiliner is made of organic cotton.

The designer says it’s a very soft cream colored lace with pink detail. The panties are definitely low rise, but flattering to one’s booty.

The cami has curved cups and plush, adjustable gold straps.

If you’re a small C or below and need just a bit of support rather than underwire, these pieces really look delightful.

The Cami is $35, panties are $20. Comparable to less that anything you’d find in a good department store, and wouldn’t you rather your money go to a real person anyway?

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I’m going to show you lovelies two more pieces from On the Inside, because I stumbled across someone’s blog earlier, who was complaining that she couldn’t find a simple cotton, non-underwire bra (I swear it was complete coincidence.)

You have no idea how much I wish I would wear this organic cotton “Summersweet Bra” Mint cotton lined in cocoa with a cross-back for extra support. The bra is $34 (which I would totally pay if I thought it would work on Olga and Helga here). Matching low-rise panties are $20.

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Okay. Is there anything we haven’t covered (get it? covered? get it? yeah.) Oh, crap. I promised like 12 million people skirts.

If you’ve got a little more flexibility in your wardrobe, or just want a cute skirt, check out this classic Collectif pencil skirt. It’s meant to be worn slightly low-rise and it comes in baby-blue, pale pink and lovely lemon yellow.

It’s available in UK sizes 8 – 20 and they do ship to the U.S. and Europe. Only two left in this particular style and it’s £10 . Check out the rest of their selection to make shipping costs worthwhile.

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For a more classic skirt with a more classic fit, over at ShopBop I found this purple crepe skirt by Black Halo. It has rounded pockets at the hip with button flap detail, a hidden back zipper and notch at the back waistband (perhaps for a better fit?). It’s 23″ long, made in the U.S.A., sizes 0-10 for $230.

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.Rounding out tonight’s catch is this cute as a button “Shorthand” skirt, back at Smashing Darling .

White cotton denim with a front tab with buttons that cover a zipper.

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This is by designer Laura Dawson…annnnnd I don’t have any manufacturing information. $50 – currently available xs – m, which the site tells me is going to run a little small. I’m calling it 0-8, even though they say 2-10.

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Last one for tonight, and then I leave you.

If any of you are truly and I mean really and truly fashion forward, then I have a gem of a skirt for you.

High waisted, black skirt, with gathers going down the front and sides. 100% cotton, machine washable. by Zeto Clothing.

“Zeto pays utmost attention to detail – using only the highest quality original fabrics, custom-dyes, light weight inks, and in-house artwork to punctuate each piece of clothing”. $88, with more specific styling details at the website.

Welcome back, pr0n lovers, it’s good to see you again. Right now is that awkward time of year when you’re in one season, but the stores are in another. The good news is that if you play your cards right you can have a shopping trip to fill any pr0n fantasy. Today I’m going to bring to you the best of the best sales on the web. Just remember: half off Gucci is still a month’s rent. This is pr0n after all.

Whenever I’m looking for a pr0nish deal, I start at Bluefly.com . You can count on brand names you know at really good deals. Extra sales come frequently here, as well as lots of opportunity to enter into a sweepstakes for this or that. I haven’t won yet, but I keep trying! Speaking of which, right now they’re having their “Designer Blue Sale”, so lots of scrumptious sales are sure to be found.

I don’t usually start with handbags, but this kelly green patent leather “Diego Toto” tote by Shih Handbags caught my eye and wouldn’t let go. Let’s start with the price: this is a bag which retails for $495 – the Blue Sale price is $222.99. That’s not a deal, that’s a steal. Don’t think I’m not drooling over the divine patent leather green which is perfect for spring and summer – how often do you get a bag for next season at half off? Never! Hello? For those of the slightly faint of heart, it also comes in black patent leather, which is rarely a bad investment.

The other thing that I really want to point out about this bag is that the drop (the length from the top of the straps to the bag) is 8″, which makes it plenty long enough to actually be a shoulder bag. I have a pet peeve about adorable bags that don’t fit over your shoulder. I’m sorry, but I’m not Holly Golightly walking around NYC in my pearls, and handbag in the crook of my arm. If you are, more power to you.

Now here’s where we get really pr0ny. I’m going to show you the most delicious pair of shoes at the most delicious price – if they don’t have them in this color in this size, don’t blame me.

Let’s talk Nanette Lepore – a designer who makes the most adorable clothing and accessories with a feminine, vintage feel. Let’s talk a 3 3/4″ heel, with a slight platform and a peep toe; I’m guessing the platform is a good inch. What that platform does is make that 3 3/4″ feel like 2 3/4″, so your podiatrist won’t yell at you too much. The shoe comes in three flavors, I prefer the sand and black, but the ivory and taupe is also acceptable. The navy and cream is just a little too Andrews Sisters for me. These shoes retail for a substantial $495; Blue Sale price: $160.99. You heard me. These puppies would go with everything: skirts, pants and dresses. They’d make a fabulous addition to your wardrobe.

Remember how I said half off Gucci was still a month’s rent? I meant Prada. Say it with me: Praaaaadaaaa. Doesn’t it just make you tingle all over? Men, I have for you a Prada herringbone wool 3 button suit at 45% off.

Retail price (I feel like I’m on The Price is Right here): $1895; Blue Sale price $1045.49. A Prada suit is an investment. (Prada anything is an investment.) You put that suit on and it says: I look good. I feel good. I AM good. (What it says is “Call your your blogger. I’m single!) The one feature I want to call attention to is the “stance”; that’s where the top button hits. Because the stance is particularly high on a three- button suit, it’s going to be flattering on anyone looking to hide a little tummy; the lower that stance is, the more you’re calling attention to it. Also, the rule for buttoning 3 button suits is from top to bottom: sometimes, always, never. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Remember we talked about Nanette Lepore earlier? I was surprised and delighted to find this pure silk “Dazzle Me Dress” on clearance at Cusp. Please please please go buy this short merlot dress with silver appliques. It was $595, and it’s on clearance (currently sizes two through eight) for $178.50. Boat neck, cap sleeves, keyhole detail. If I had the money, I’d buy it myself! So buy it for me and wear it someplace fabulous. Maybe even with the guy in the Prada suit.

Now just because this is pr0n, don’t ever believe you have to sacrifice form for function. Perish the thought! If you can’t find something stylish and functional, you simply haven’t looked hard enough! (Or read my blog.) I’m going to show you all a few different bags, just to show how much of a variety in form and fashion there is, starting with this Cynthia Rowley “Neo Tote”. Cynthia Rowley is another one of my favorite designers, particularly when it comes to handbags, because her designs are fun. They have a sense of humor about them without feeling like your bag is screaming a la Betsey Johnson.

Don’t get me wrong, Betsey has a time and a place, but it’s not all the time and it’s not for everyone. Anyway, I love this adorable black and white (or red and black) tote. It’s perfect for an overnight bag, or an everyday handbag for someone in a more “flexible” industry. Inside it’s divided into two compartments, with a middle zippered compartment, and the outside has a zipper on each side to make it expandable. Note also the two outside front pockets. This bag was originally $398 and is currently on sale for $199! Get it now! Go on, I’ll wait.

MEN: Please stop thinking that your only choices in life are the same basic black briefcase that everyone else has (you know, the one that’s not really made for a laptop that you overstuff ’til it groans and bulges like your belt after Thanksgiving dinner?), or a casual canvas messenger bag that you could (and may) have used in college. There is hope! For only $29.99…no, sorry. Got carried away there. I’ll spare you the thousand dollar Prada this time in favor of this black leather Andrew Marc laptop messenger bag. That’s right, a leather laptop messenger bag.

Supple leather, 15″ width large enough for an average laptop, sling-like strap, an interior file pocket and a front flap with a magnetic snap closure for easy, but secure access. The bottom has 5 metal feet, meaning if you put it on the ground it’s not going to destroy the bottom of the bag. Retail price $450, Blue Sale price: $270. Forty percent off, all access pass…

The last bag I’m showing is because my instinct is to go fairly girly, but I know some of you like the boyish girls and I want to show that a handbag doesn’t have to be ultra-feminine to be chic and fashionable and still look like a woman’s bag.

In fact, it’s called “Barney’s Chic Mailbag”. It’s got chic right in the name! Truth in advertising for once. Now, the bag has a 4″ handle drop, so if it’s going to fit under your shoulder, it’s going to fit right under your shoulder. But this is an Italian patent leather mailbag from Barney’s New York. It has a canvas lined interior with leather trim organizational pocket and two organizational pockets.

My little pr0n lovers, there’s nothing not feminine about this bag. Think Marlene Dietrich or Greta Garbo. Then think about the price: originally $695, now on sale for $169. If you have any interest in this bag GET IT NOW. Bargains just don’t get any pr0nier than this.

Our time is up my little p0rn fans. I’ll leave you with something all of us can appreciate. This Only Hearts lavender grey tiered camisole and hipster. Cami originally $59, now $17.70, hipsters originally $39, now $10.80-$18. Something to curl up with at night.