From the makers of easy to assemble products

Yesterday, I finally received the product I ordered online which is an exercise slash toy for my 4 year old.

I opened the package and there were only a few parts. I said to myself, "Huh, this should be a piece of cake."

So I commenced putting this thing together using my highly evolved brain. As I am a learned individual, I know how to read and follow directions very well. My reading comprehension is at a scholar's level. Surely, this will only be elementary at best.

To prepare myself for the task at hand, I put on my coverall. This was the same coverall issued to me when I was in the Navy. I looked at myself in the mirror. Turn to the side to see if the coverall was making my butt looked diminished.

Ok, not too bad. I am ready to go to work. Just as I was about to embark on this journey, I noticed the product had a few grease joints.

So I decided to put on some latex gloves. Now, I am ready. As I was about to launch this project, I noticed something was missing.

Duh?? You can't build something without tools???

So I brought my roll-around tool box into the patio where I was going to be working. Inside my tool box are no ordinary tools, they are Snap Ons.

Just as I was about to commence, I noticed something missing again. I can't start this project without a nice cold glass of lemonade???

So I went and got 4 fresh lemons and squeezed them into a tall glass. I added some water to fill the glass and a few teaspoons of sugar.

Tasted it....mmmm, not quite....a little more sugar

Pour some more sugar...

There, that really hit the spot.

Now, I am ready to work on this bad boy. Just as I was about to forge this toy ( I know forge is used incorrectly here, but I like the sound of it)

As I was about to forge this toy, I couldn't help but noticed, I am missing something.

I can't put this product together without some motivational music.

So I went inside the house and brought out my stereo which was made in the 80's and put on some 80's tunes.[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWhInhE6emE[/url]

Hell Yeah! Judas Priest is going to help me build this bad boy! I am pumped. I am going to kick this bad boy's ***!

Just as I was about to start, my wife comes outside and says it's time for dinner.

I hate it when I am on a roll and something like this interferes with my momentum. So I went in and chow that dinner down like a hungry wolf.

I came back out....finally, this bad boy is going to get some ***-whoopin'....

I had my fill, my thirst is quenched, my groove is on thanks to Judas Priest, my coverall fits perfectly, the tools are begging to be used.....I am ready!

I opened up the directions for installation and began reading it....and in essence, this is what it said.

" Here are the parts! We're too lazy to give you thorough directions, so have fun. Muahahahahahaha! "

KungFuMaster

5/20/11 6:01:43PM

I guess this type of humor is considered trolling.

I will have to try something else in the coming days.

kopower

5/20/11 6:24:02PM

I appreciate the effort, but you're gonna have to step it up around here

KungFuMaster

5/20/11 7:35:19PM

Posted by kopower

I appreciate the effort, but you're gonna have to step it up around here

Do you realize you have just opened Pandora's box?

An overwhelming, tingling sensation has come over me as I stare into cyber space while cackling.

KungFuMaster

5/22/11 4:06:18AM

I think I will claim the Padded Room as mine - seeing as I am the only one posting here.