Beyond the self indulgence of smelling like bacon in the morning (& perhaps all day), There is the question of how do you live with your self? No, not the narcissist self that you made bacon smell. But the sadist self that makes the bacon smell just so others are pulled in with “ohhhhhh is that bacon I smell?”

Personally I find myself wondering, if a girl uses the shaving cream, does that now constitute “overt solicitation?” What mayhem and chaos could ensue if a proper warning label wasn’t included on her bum?
You remember the Planter’s 2008 SuperBowl commercial. Those poor men follow her around like puppies smelling Beggin’ Strips!!!!!http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=QeXQbBxP5UI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DQeXQbBxP5UI

And that was just a little cashew dapped be hind the ear!

So moral of the story??? A little dap may do you good, but tying the ham hock around your ankles (or at least apply cream liberally, shave and rinse) may have dire consequences.