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5 Thing I’ve Learned Since Becoming a Mom

Happy Friday! Since I’m still on maternity leave I’m slightly less excited about Fridays because it’s just another week that is behind me. But, I’m still excited to have Tim home for the weekend and for water babies on Saturday. I hope you all have exciting or relaxing weekends planned depending on what you need.

5 things I’ve learned since becoming a mom.

I thought I’d share 5 things I’ve learned since becoming a mom a bit over three months ago. There are a lot more things that I have learned, but these are the ones that I think about on a near daily basis that I just really didn’t truly realize until I became a mom.

Olivia has been such a great sleeper aside from the first night home from the hospital. She woke up twice per night at regularly scheduled intervals for the first month, and then she slowly transitioned to one wake up per night for the second and most of the third month. Suddenly, this past Sunday she decided she needed to wakeup every hour or two or three all night every night. I’m not sure if it’s a growth spurt or the four month sleep regression coming early, but I’m certain that I’m exhausted and kicking myself for thinking she was always going to be such a great sleeper.

You can’t put a little baby on a schedule.

Unless you have a magic baby, I can’t see a baby following a schedule. I spent a long time in weeks 6 and 7 finding a schedule that I liked to start setting Olivia up on. That was funny. I got so confused when she wasn’t taking a two hour nap when the book said she should take a two hour nap or why she didn’t want to go to sleep when the book said she wanted to go to sleep. Instead, we follow a pattern, and it works so much better for us. I can’t guarantee what time Olivia is going to be awake at certain times during the day, but I can guarantee that it will be one hour and fifteen minutes or less from each wakeup until the next time she starts to fuss to go to sleep. I’ve heard that in a few months she’ll be on a more solid schedule, but I’m not going to hold my breath for now.

You will think in terms of two to three hour cycles.

As we’ve been going and doing things, I plan completely around Olivia and her sleep and eating needs. If we’re going to go out I feed her then immediately head out to maximize the amount of time we can be out before she needs to eat again. If we’re going to be out a long time I bring something that I know she can either sleep in on me or something that will help her fall asleep in the stroller. I’m always watching my baby app to check until the next time she’s going to wake up or start to fuss to eat to pre-plan where I am at that time. Essentially, your time is no longer your time anymore.

Being a mom is the hardest but the best thing.

So many people told me this before I became a mom, but I was a little (or a lot) stupid. My guess is most people are before they have kids when thinking about what it will be like to have kids. I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t really think about exactly how hard. I don’t think there would have been a way to make me understand exactly how draining and tiring it is, but looking back I really do wish I had cherished that sleep a little bit more. That said, it truly is the very very best thing. Olivia woke up more last night than she ever has, and then this morning had some diapering issues, but as soon as I fed her and started talking to her, her babbles and smiles immediately helped erase how tired and frustrated I had been overnight.

You will know love like you’ve never known love before.

I know not all moms immediately feel the overwhelming love that they expect at birth, but I was blessed and bonded with Olivia very quickly. I experienced some baby blues, but my tears frequently came because my heart almost hurt with how much I loved her. The love moms feel or most will eventually feel is something indescribable, and I didn’t understand it when people told me until I had Olivia in my arms.

These may not be true for everyone, but for me they’re constants. I know that the sleeping will change as Olivia gets older, but as I look forward to things she’ll be able to do in the future I remind myself not to wish her older since time is already flying. My life has changed, and while I sometimes miss things I could do or things I didn’t worry about in the past, the difficulties and hard times have absolutely been worth it for the good times, smiles, and coos.

Did you experience any of these, and what have I not come to realize yet since Olivia is still so little?

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Comments

So much truth there! And it relevant to EVERY baby. All 3 of mine did that crazy 3 month growth spurt when they were up ALL night long. I came to expect the unexpected!! Great post! (and I LOVE your picture!!!)

I was glad to read this comment, because it did help me realize that this must be more of a spurt than a sleep regression. Oh goodness there are so many things that I didn’t realize about becoming a mom.

Don’t stress about schedule. Whatever you work out now will go out the window when daycare starts, and she will get settled into whatever schedule they have. Even if they say they go by the babies schedule, they still pretty much all end up on the same schedule (and that’s not a bad thing).

And yes, whatever is working (routine, sleep, etc) – is working THIS week and bears no promises for next week 😉

That I have definitely realized. I’m no longer going to assume what’s happening now is going to be happening the next day or night. This gives me some hope to look forward to the first night that things start to go a little back to normal…

Just when you figure it out, they go and change things up on you. I found both of my two always started sleeping poorly before a growth spurt or big milestone. When the brain starts reorganizing and gearing up for something new, sleep just goes by the wayside! Beautiful picture!

I’ve really started to think this is a growth spurt more than sleep regression. She’s been eating like a mad woman all day for the last few days and I’m realizing that she just can’t make it as long at night right now because of the spurt.

Not a mom but I’ve seen my friends struggle with doing all the things the books said. But it seems like the second they stop trying to follow the book to the letter, they do so much better! Glad you have found something that works for you. Love the picture!

YES to your comment about the schedule! Those darn books made me feel like such a failure — you can’t force a baby to nap for 2 hours and then I was left feeling so overwhelmed about what I should do with a baby who was such a cat-napper in the beginning! I feel ya! And I totally agree with your fifth point. I don’t know how to adequately describe the love I have for my son other than to say it makes me feel weepy, joyful, vulnerable, emotional and so very grateful all at once. Being his mom is my favorite thing in the world, even on the hard days.

Yes, it is really and truly the best. I just read through some of your posts on sleeping and your sleep training at 6 months, and I’m thinking if we have this rough patch last a few more months we’ll do the same thing that you did. Those posts were helpful. You’re a very good mom, and I’ve enjoyed reading and referring to your posts as Chase grows.

Agree with you, especially on number 5. I have friends who completely have their babies on schedules. I never tried hard enough, I guess. I wanted them to feed on a whim and wanted to cuddle them on some days, not lay them in a crib. The sleep deprivation pales next to the love. I will forever be a light sleeper. That is what motherhood has done for me, and my kiddos are 14 and 9.

Thanks Steph! I just don’t know how they do it with the schedules. I felt like I was doing something wrong when she wasn’t following the “Moms on Call” schedule in the beginning, but now I realize that it’s probably extremely rare for babies to do that. I love the baby cuddles but also appreciate the flexibility of cuddling sometimes and crib sometimes. I’m glad I’ll be able to talk to you about this.

Thanks Suzanne. I’m looking forward to having my time, but I also sometimes lament that she’ll get older and bigger. I guess they sleep poorly during this time so we don’t just spend all our time wishing they’d stay this size forever.

So true… you don’t know the scope of love until you hold your own child. I never followed a schedule either. We had our own rhythm as well. It STILL works for us. I promise, the sleeping gets better!!! You can do it, mamma : )

Yes to all of these! Our little guy is 3 1/2 months and we’re also not sleeping much these days. It makes me long for his newborn nights! Hang in there and good luck, hoping we’re both sleeping more soon!

Ha – YES to the thinking in 2-3 hour cycles!! I remember in the tiny baby days when I made sure to always be home when it was nap time so baby could sleep in the crib, I would have to figure out exactly what I could accomplish in the stretch of time between finishing feeding her and getting her ready to put down again. It was like making game play haha!!

My two were exactly the same! Its like they know thry are being too easy on you so thry change their game plan! Be sure to gear up for teething in another few months!!! Olivia is adorable and I love her nursery.

3 months is growth spurt time. They start eating a TON and then suddenly none of their clothing fits 🙂 Being a mom gets way more fun after this because she’ll start playing and doing so many other adorable and fun things!

I’m not a mom yet but love reading about the whole process. I went back and read your baby blues post too. I’m overly emotional in general, I can’t even imagine how I’ll be while pregnant and post-birth! It makes me so happy and excited to read new moms talk about how much they love their newborns though. Like I said, so overly emotional, it makes my heart so happy and I even start to tear up. haha Yeah, I’m going to be a hormonal mess!

I remember when I first had my oldest. It was hard. He slept so good at the hospital and the first 3 days at home but then he was waking up every hour to feed. We had to change a few things with his formula because I didn’t breastfeed and suddenly it helped him sleep and he was waking up every 3 hours. Which helped. My youngest was an easy baby. He slept 5 hours through the night until he needed to be fed. That’s why they say all babies are different and to get prepared for those nights lol

Love the pictures of you and your little precious daughter! I am not a mom but I have seen some of my friends follow a few things you have mentioned here. I am always afraid about the 3 hour cycles, you are doing so great!!
xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com