Grey Danger Berlin Bryja Shady

So, uh… we kind of had a baby. As you probably guessed by the title of this post, her name is Grey Danger Berlin Bryja Shady.

There’s more to tell, but I’m writing this from an uncomfortable cot in Cedars-Sinai and have more important things to attend to, so here are the quick facts:

1. KB was originally due on July 24th. Grey was born yesterday, on July 5th, 2015, 19 days early.

2. Grey is healthy and normal. Or at least as normal as a child I contributed to can be. She weighed 5 pounds, 4.8 ounces at birth, and was 20.25 inches long. To be read: She’s very tall and skinny. She’s kind of like Manute Bol, except white, a girl, and not a professional basketball player.

3. Though many have asked, there are no real meanings to her names. We thought Grey was pretty and sounded kind of cool alongside Shady. Her first middle name, Danger, is there because we wanted her to be able to tell people, “Danger is my middle name.” Berlin is there because it was in contention for awhile for her first name. Bryja was KB’s maiden name (the “B” in KB), and is currently her middle name (she moved it over when she became a Shady). And Shady is there because, well… I am the father. Thanks, Maury!

4. And finally, we got very lucky with the birth. Saturday night, less than 12 hours before Grey was born, we were at a Dodger game watching fireworks. KB woke me up around 6:00AM Sunday morning saying she thought she was having contractions. After we called our doctor, we got up, drove to the hospital, and were officially admitted at 7:00AM. Fifteen minutes later, they told us KB was already dilated nine centimeters. For those of you who didn’t know (before yesterday, I included myself in this group), you need to be ten centimeters to give birth. They got her set up and fully prepped by 8:00AM. Grey was born an hour and twenty minutes later, at 9:22AM. All of this is to say, having a baby is easy!

Our thanks and love to everyone who helped and supported us along the way. We’ll be home, all three of us, tomorrow morning.

A lot of people have been asking for photos, so I’m just gonna post a bunch here to save myself the time of sending them out individually.

Right after she was born! You can tell by the “What the…?” look on her face.

She came out with a bunch of tapioca on her face. Not sure how that happened, but apparently all babies are born covered in pudding. I was hoping for pistachio.

Here’s me realizing I actually helped make this human being. Whoa.

Grey getting her swaddle on.

We all played charades last night. Grey had to act out Johnny Rotten.

Obligatory adorable baby photo.

For scale: Grey is wrapped in a single square of toilet paper, which was then placed inside of a matchbox.

Okay, seriously, that’s adorable.

It didn’t take long for Grey to show us her sweet, sweet moves.

And finally, my favorite photo of Grey so far. Here she is fighting off a pack of velociraptors that broke into the hospital looking for Jeff Goldblum.

Welcome beautiful baby Grey!! you were born into one of the wackiest families ever! Great grandpa High-Guy is smiling from ear to ear right now. May God always be with you. Oh and mommy, welcome to my world. Women will hate you when you tell them you gave birth in under 3 hours start to finish. All of mine(3), 10 pounds a piece, and all born at anywhere from an hour, to an hour and a half. Way to go momma!!!!

It’s so weird because over the long weekend when I wasn’t checking the blog it occurred to me “What if Baby Shady arrives early and I miss it?” I was probably thinking that right about the time Grey popped out. Then I got back to work and was so freakin’ busy catching up that I did MISS it…Wow–stunning news and soooooooooooo exciting. Your baby is way cuter than that alien in the manual, btw. Incredibly happy for all 3 of you.