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NK Has Really Good Acid

"Archaeologists of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have recently reconfirmed a lair of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong, founder of the Koguryo Kingdom," reports the — wait. Stop. UNICORNS? That's an actual snippet from a report from the Korean Central News Agency, the state news agency of North Korea and fine, okay, we totally understand that this might be a retaliatory joke in response to China getting fooled by The Onion naming Kim Jong-un the Sexiest Man Alive or something.

Jo Hui Sung, director of the Institute, told KCNA:

"Korea's history books deal with the unicorn, considered to be ridden by King Tongmyong, and its lair.

And these are the history books Hoi Sung is talking about :

The Sogyong (Pyongyang) chapter of the old book 'Koryo History' (geographical book), said: Ulmil Pavilion is on the top of Mt. Kumsu, with Yongmyong Temple, one of Pyongyang's eight scenic spots, beneath it. The temple served as a relief palace for King Tongmyong, in which there is the lair of his unicorn.

And there's more. It's not like this is a National Enquirer/Bat Boy type of fleeting story. This one has significance It looks like North Korea is using the unicorn lair to prove a bigger point:

The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom.