The Golden Child

Aug 24, 2012

I don’t know what Eddie Murphy has been up to lately, but he totally should have been on this case and figuring out what the deal was with these babies before they got roasted and covered in gold leaf.

This guy is the one who got caught. He’s a British citizen born in Taiwan who is involved in a cooked magic fetus corpse smuggling ring. Police got a tip about some bizarro online shopping and they raided his room to find the fetuses packed in his luggage.

Reports say the fetuses ranged in age from 2 to 7 months and were purchased for about $6,400 US. Chow was trying to get them into Taiwan where he could flip them for 6 times what he paid. (Click the link to see photos of the confiscated merchandise. Too grody for me to share in this post, but I was also completely compelled to find a photo.)

This kooky guy thinks that fetuses like these get eaten by a group of world business leaders who have been meeting since the 1950s and talk about current affairs and rule over our very existence. Our zombie overlords have arrived, and they wear Italian shoes and bespoke suits.

Don’t worry, they don’t actually eat Thai babies. The fetuses, all male, were Kuman Thong. It’s part of an ancient Thai Buddhist tradition that preserves the remains of children to help them find better odds in the next life, and good fortune for the person who possesses the remains, and cares for them like a living child. You can enlist the services of monks like this guy to provide you with the properly prepared, preserved and blessed remains. They get honored places in home altars.

There are lots of beliefs in different Buddhist sects about the power of human remains. Kuman Thong isn’t evil black magic. In general practice it’s meant to help people through the pain of losing a child. Daily rituals include offering food at least once a day, identifying yourself as the child’s mother or father, and making sure it doesn’t get jealous of other living children by showering it with gifts and adoration. I’m not sure that the smuggled Kuman Thong that Chow got busted trying to take out of Thailand would have enjoyed such consideration in Taiwan, but maybe. I wonder what happens to them now?