Detox Looks Fun in Greenpeace’s Challenge to Nike and Adidas

Last month, an ad spoof from the Ewoks at Greenpeace informed us that Volkswagen operates a Death Star that's about to pulverize the earth with a giant laser beam. Now, the environmental advocates have set their sights on the evil sportswear people at Adidas and Nike, who are apparently hurting the planet with a combination of impressive athleticism, brightly hued clothing, and being so damn painfully hip. Also, they use suppliers in China that are polluting rivers there with chemicals that have "hormone-disrupting properties," Greenpeace claims. Yikes. Don't they get it? Adidas and Nike can't stop using that stuff—the mutant power of the products is what transforms their buyers into totally gorgeous, superhuman, supertalented physical specimens. Without that, they're nothing.

While we genuinely appreciate the attempt to mock Adidas' A-lister-stuffed celebrity house party spot from a couple of years ago, we might suggest not making the people you're trying to shame look like they're having so much damn fun. Honestly, it makes us want to buy their stuff more, not less.