So. I was writing something and Stew singing “Love like That” came on the stereo.

It’s one of those poignant songs which would be imperfect sung by anyone else. The song made me think what would be the five songs I would put under one of those thoughtful couple moments in a TV show or movie when the couple is at one of “those moments”.

You know these moments. They kind of crack open what was and let’s what will be out.

They are that perfect romantic song which increases its perfectness when it is heard over one of those special moments in a TV show or movie (you know pretty much every movie John Cusack has ever been in when he realizes the girl is his). For example, when John Cusak and KateBeckinsale meet at the end of Serendipity (Nick Drake’s Northern Sky is awesome in the scene).

All that said. The songs I am going to suggest are pretty much below the radar. Certainly not top 40. But used in a TV show or movie? Amazing. And really really nice when you bring it home. These would be the six I wish someone would use and are nice to listen to on valentine’s day:

Stew is a big guy who has an interesting voice and has written some really eclectic odd stuff but also some really nice stuff. He sings along with a little woman who harmonizes with him perfectly. Love like That is awesome. You never get tired of listening to it.

If ever a song was written that matched a voice style this is it. “I love you more than I should” is an opening line that is delivered in a way that puts you in a mental space where you know exactly the time and the place you yourself were ‘there.’

The majority of Jann Arden’ stuff is pretty ordinary. With this song she captures the true essence of someone asking for some patience with their flaws. I am not sure I have ever heard a better song than this one with this message.This was used on the TV show Felicity perfectly.

Someone could do an entire scene over the entire song. It is about letting someone ‘free’ and loving them so much you promise them to be there no matter what. The guy’s voice has this fragile strength to it that makes the song fearful and fearless at exactly the same time. Beautiful song. Bluegrass has never sounded better.

——

5. Well. This is actually the “heartache” love song trio because I couldn’t pick just one. They are almost interchangeable in their sound and the beautiful twinge of heartache and longing.

Over the Rhine’s music is all over the place. They don’t really seem to write that many love ballads. Latter Days is sadly emotionally crafted. It captures the emptiness felt when someone who you love is not there. And the simple beauty when they are there. “I love the way that you dance …” … perfect.

Her voice is perfect for the song. It’s one of those songs I cannot envision anyone else singing.

It took me forever listening to this song to understand they were saying ‘displaced.’ Doesn’t matter. The opening of the song sung by Maria Taylor I believe is fragile in its words and fragile in her voice style. This song seems to dip right into real life and explain unexplained feelings.

The songwriter, and singer, Peter Bradley Adams only did one cd as eastmountainsouth and then he did a solo cd. Doesn’t matter. His best songs are always a duet with a woman. You Dance is impeccably written. Heartfelt without being sappy and you almost feel like you have stepped into the middle of a couple’s sincere thoughts for each other. Like I said earlier it should be used for any wedding.

Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home.”

—–

Patch Adams

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Well. I had all these quotes and I didn’t know what to do with them until I saw the image at the opening of this post: “They say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I’m not leaving maybe I’m going home.”

I have often wondered why many of us are so restless. We seek things, and travel places looking for ‘something’ and dream dreams. This doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy what we have nor does it mean we don’t accept reality. It just means that there is always an undercurrent of change or “what ifs” or “what could be’s” underneath the surface of our Life. At the same time we are sailing through Life seeking some place we can land which we can not only call home, but actually feels like home.

And maybe that is where the line “home is where you hang your hat’ comes into play. In its simplicity it is actually suggesting that it really isn’t your hat that matters it is when you accept that you can be who you are and that ‘who’ is all you can be that you have found home. And while Thérèse was really suggesting that the material world was simply your journey and heaven, or God, is your destination the overall thought is truer than true.

Whether you believe in something bigger than you or simply believe there is something bigger within you, you should seek the stars within you to guide you to it all — not some external place or location which may appear to fulfill some aspect of ‘home.’

Your dreams, wishes and … yes … the starlight to guide you in the darkness of not knowing what to do, where to go and how to get thru whatever it is you are going thru … is all within you.

Your home resides within you.

You are simply looking for a place to … well … place your home that feels right and true. That place is unseen. That place is not really one place <it can actually be many places>.

Here comes the hard part.

Life will not give you any signposts and most of Life will constantly change your direction unseen in the undercurrents of Life.

============

“In the short voyage of a lifetime, we can see the eddies and ripples on the surface, but not the undercurrents changing the main channel of the stream. “

Thomas Mellon

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This all suggests you are in control and you are not in control.

Just ponder the fact we often stand upon the deck of our ship admiring the horizon and enjoying the travel & journey only to have some Life undercurrent disrupt our complacency and some version of ‘living Life laziness’ <i.e., if you’re not careful and become actively involved in Life, Life will actively involve itself in your Life>.

This simply reminds us that circumstances beyond our control often disrupt the illusion of what we have, who we are and where we are.

The unseen undercurrent constantly nudges our mind with questions:

What is our purpose?

How can we take control of so many things out of our control?

How do we reconcile the vastness Life offers us … reconcile the bigness that can often appear within reach … and reconcile our desire to be worthy of Life … reconcile it all against the smallness that is us in the roiling sea on which our ship sails?

Will we ever satisfy our dreams for what could be & what we could be?

Meaningful or meaningless?

We struggle with these questions. And all the while we avoid the questions under the guise of “seeking home.’

Ah. Shit.

Suffice it to say, home is not anything physical, it actually resides in the infinite. As a corollary, this would presume if you accept its infiniteness you should be able to see it also has the potential to be infinitely good.

I believe we inherently know this and inherently know that only ‘home’ will truly satisfy us. And that search, that journey, is the satisfaction. I imagine the unfortunate, uncomfortable, truth is the odds are we will never truly find some ‘home’ in which we can live our entire lives.

Those darn tween/teens. Saying such … well … mature thoughtful things. Even about love (when all they are supposed to understand is puppy love).

Ok.

Sure.

They are just words … versus how they would actually deal with the situation. But. Regardless. There are many adults who cannot articulate the concept of love as well as this.

“Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times. Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be. And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.” – xiloveyouxlaura on xanga

And.

She follows up her thoughts on love with words about letting go.

It reads as a cathartic post.

One in which she puts words on paper hoping that they rise up and actually become reality instead of just sitting there echoing inside her heart.

Once again.

Teen maturity.

Teen wisdom.

Teen seeing truth.

And, once again, I am not suggesting she is actually living the words … I am simply giving her credit for recognizing what she SHOULD know and do.

In my eyes … knowing what to do and feel is half the battle.

Sure.

The other half of the battle is a humdinger (actually doing it) … but maybe she will write something else some other day when she is older to prove to us once again that teens are smarter than we think.

As for smartness? “Letting go is growing up.” Well. About love or not that is an adult thought.

Here is how she talks to her fellow teens about ‘letting go’:

“To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind & confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.”

Well done, Laura.

Well written.

Well thought out.

If I could tell her one thing, given what she has written and how she was able to articulate the thought behind love … that she has a better chance at real love at some point than a shitload of people in the world.

Oddly … teens could teach us adults (or at least remind us) some good things to remember about love … and the feeling.

Ok.

And lastly.

Something silly about love.

Something silly about what you would ever ask someone you love to do for you.

Silly … but mostly true.

I included this because after thinking about love … and what Laura said on her blog … I found this. And in it’s random silliness I found a diamond of truth. I believe this is what every man wants his children to think … and his soul mate to do for him in the end … (maybe by including this I am showing just one more example for why I have never been married) …

Burt:

Do you promise to let our daughter be fat or skinny or any weight at all? Because we want her to be happy, no matter what. Being obsessed with weight is just too cliché for our daughter.

Verona:

Yes, I do.

And do you promise, when she talks, you’ll listen? Like, really listen, especially when she’s scared? And that her fights will be your fights?

Burt:

I do.

And do you promise that if I die some embarrassing and boring death that you’re gonna tell our daughter that her father was killed by Russian soldiers in this intense hand-to-hand combat in an attempt to save the lives of 850 Chechnyan orphans?

Verona:

I do. Chechnyan orphans. I do. I do.

So.

Maybe I am best described as a realist with a touch of hopeless romantic.

Maybe all that really means is that I like to find people who value a romantic type of love love but believe a relationship must have a strong thread of a companion type of love.

Maybe I like to believe that we adults don’t have all the answers to love and that maybe, just maybe, teens can remind us what love is really all about. And that maybe there is a silly part of love that we should remember.

“If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than it was because he was he and I was I.”– Unknown

I was tempted to leave this write up with just that quote and suggest there is no better answer.

But.

I figured I had already written so much, what the heck, share it all.

This is actually where I started (and this is part 5 in this series). When someone asked me to write about love it became so complex I started splitting out variables. But I ended up talking about romantic love where I actually started months ago. Chemistry and calculus and complexities.

Chemistry?

Yeah.

I was good at math. Even at physics. But ask me what was supposed to happen when you put one thing in with another in one of those funky beakers in chemistry class and I had no clue what to expect. All I know is if you actually put the right two in it is awesomeonium.

But.

Mr. Ely, my high school chemistry teacher, is probably the only one I know who could tell me what makes up that element.

Calculus?

Yup.

The mathematical variations of right or wrong, what works and what doesn’t work and what makes a great couple and what doesn’t is seemingly limitless. The whole eharmony and match.com and website breaking relationships down to logarithms and mathematical likelihood sounds awesome but they are nuts.

In the end it something that cannot be defined by some formula or “this is what works” rules.

(note: I was tempted to call his my multidimensional intergalactic time continuum overview of love but it made my head hurt)

Anyway.

Complex but simple.

Only two pieces of the puzzle. (simple)

Simply it is two pieces of puzzle that for some reason fit together.

Never the same for anyone. (complex)

Love to me … is something that varies from situation to situation and person to person.

It would be easy to suggest it is always “brings out the best in someone or both” (like Pooh suggests):

“Pooh, you are the best bear in the world.”

Pooh smiled and said, “No, I’m just the best bear when i am with you.”

And theoretically we would always like it to be that way (but unfortunately it doesn’t always).

And theoretically I would imagine everyone in some form or fashion aims for this:

“One day you will ask me what I love more, you or my life, and when I say my life you will walk away from me without knowing that you are my life.”Anonymous

But.

Let’s go back to putting those two pieces of the puzzle together. And how complex that is.

I am even willing to use me as an example.

Here are my calculus equation components.

Let’s begin with “the one.” Or ‘the ones.’

I do believe there is more than ‘the one’ out there for each of us.

That in a lifetime you may actually cross paths with several ones (this is where fickle timing can sometimes screw the pooch for ya). And, yes, if you want to call them ‘soul mates’ I do believe there are a number out there.

I think of this as peas in the pod. A number of peas could fit your pod (hopefully not all at the same time or I guess you would be a Mormon).

So. Several ones floating around as you stand there in your pod.

Oh. And your pod is not limitless. Not small. But not huge. And it resides in an entire gazillion acre galaxy sized pea farm.

So first in the equation are these random peas floating around that fit in your pod.

Next.

Types of romantic love.

I do believe you can fall in love with your best friend.

I do believe passion can spark love.

I do believe cerebral connection can spark love.

I do believe you can fall in love at first sight.

I do believe you can fall in love after a period of time.

I do believe there are a number of paths leading to a great relationship.

I do not believe there is just one way there.

Shit.

So I stand with my pod at crossroads where Robert Frost couldn’t write that frickin’ poem about the road not taken because there are so many of them you get dizzy turning and deciding which one to take.

Next.

I am a nomad type. Someone once called me a restless soul (thank god not a tortured soul).

And, yet, I do believe there is someone out there who will make me stop and be less restless. Or maybe better said … restless in other ways but comfortable grounded with a “one.” I have often called it independent dependence but … whatever.

The complexity of this aspect increases if you assume I am ‘nomading’ and constantly moving and someone out there is also not stagnant so lots of random pieces flying around (you get the point … but at least I have the damn pea pod to hold onto).

Yup.

That is what makes discussing or defining love difficult.

Love to me, like I imagine anything that truly matters, is not a concept you can define by a simple dictionary definition. I know many use the dictionary (or Wikipedia) to provide meaning to the complexities of human nature, but I find it difficult to put a set definition on something so unique. Love seems so vast. A multitude of different factors pulled together and mangled into a tangible, yet fluctuating state. To each person the perception and evolution/creation of love is distinct.

If I were to be pushed into a definitive definition?

Love just is.

So while I am now on my 5th article on love the truth is when it comes to love nobody knows what they’re talking about.

You can lose someone you love and yet there will be a part of you that’s going to be in love with them forever.

Whew.

So, you may actually NOT be with someone and still have some love left for them.

That is nuts.

Anyway.

While that is ‘loss’ there are also complexities with “keeping.”

I believe one of the hardest things of long term relationships is not really complacency or “being too comfortable” it is actually the fact you have forgotten that the person beside you knows you secrets, things you would never say to anyone else, the unforgettable goods & bads as well as the sometimes seemingly unforgiveable … and yet they are still there.

And yet still loving you despite it all.

(I told you this was complex)

Look.
It is impossible to assume knowledge of the feelings between two people (sorry eHarmony, match.com and whatever Russian bride services may read my site). Love is an emotion, emotions are specific to the person feeling them, and therefore you cannot begin to imagine how something makes another feel.
Oh.
And love doesn’t hurt (no matter what people try and tell you).

It is the things that entangle it that bring pain. Absolutely love involves vulnerability to pain, but I struggle to think of anything worthwhile that doesn’t have some risk of ‘hurt.’

So.

Let me begin the close of this post with a Bob Marley thought. I do not agree with the ‘only once in your life’ but other than that he does a pretty awesome job of what you get as a prize if you can figure out a way through the complexities to get to the prize:

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

— Bob Marley

In the end, I imagine while love is complex, it really just comes down to another somewhat odd thing. We rarely regret falling, choosing or being in love. We tend to only regret the chances we didn’t take and the relationships we were afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make.

Why do we have these regrets?

Because it so frickin’ complex you can never be sure …

So me? I say take the chance.

Nothing beats knowing that someone wants to be with you.

(note: and it’s even nicer to know that the one who wants to be with you is the one you want to be with too.)

Ok. Maybe it’s not just nice. It’s quite possible the most awesome thing in the world.

Being around someone who makes you feel like for once in your life you don’t have to try and be happy? And it just happens?

Whew.
Doesn’t get any better.

So get going. It is complex for sure.

But who knows what dimension you could end up on and it be the right dimension for your pod and another pea.

I guess some couples spark and blaze and then realize “shit, I just blazed with someone who could be my best friend” and off they go into the sunset.

Well. I don’t think that’s the way it works most times.

But “shit. I wanna blaze with my best friend” doesn’t seem to be heard that often either.

If you ever want to wrap your head around this falling in love with your best friend riddle make sure you have a good strong cocktail with you.

“Being too comfortable is bad for love.”

Or.

“Its so easy it cannot be love.”

Oh.

How about … “we have so much in common it’s too scary.”

Yeah.

Those would be the main over thinking aspects that come along with this type of love.

Anyway.

I guess the real point here is that sometimes loving your best friend can feel like such a perfect match, each one knows each other so well, understanding expectations so well, it can become scary.

And sometimes (in over thinking mode) you kinda go “shit. What’s left? Where do we go from here?” and you get scared that this is all it will ever be.

Yeah.

Nuts? Isn’t it?

So.

I guess I elected to begin this one with a childhood look at love. Possibly because Scout & Dill have the innocence to believe that romantic love can be found simply through friendship.

To Kill a Mockingbird is, of course, my favorite book and the relationship between Dill and Scout remains one of the great love stories.

(and a love story I scratch my head wondering why more people don’t use it to show the strength of women in relationships … oops … different post).

The book was written in the 50’s.

Scout is strong-minded, independent, incredibly smart young girl. Let’s just call her a handful.

Dill is solid and simple and strong and comfortable in his own skin.

As a pair they are comfortable with each other.

They are balanced in their own way and at their core is that easy friendship companionship of understanding the craziness of their differences and yet could be comfortable 24/7.

Okay.

I know I am talking about kids and not complicating it with sex and passion and stuff.

But. You get the point.

So let’s move specifically to adults (or how about people who are of age to be considered adults but love makes them act less intelligent than kids).

“People always talk about that moment when they fell for their best friend. There never was a moment for me and mine. I’ve always loved him.” Michelle Burns

Oh.

You wish it was this simple.

The true fact is this type of love takes no energy and incredible amounts of energy at exactly the same time.

Maybe because the people are already in love (friendship love = no work) and you have to find the energy to hop the ditch – (= lots of energy) – to get to the other side (romantic love = some work).

Oh.

And that ditch looks like a chasm. Like the frickin’ Grand Canyon from friendship love to romantic love.

Oh.

And that ditch is filled with something called “over thinking.”

Now.

If you can cross the chasm (and someone smarter than I will have to explain how) when I have seen this type of love work it is pretty amazing. I found this quote from Reality Bites and it is the closest to saying what I have seen:

“Sometimes new love comes between old friends; sometimes the best love was the one that was already there.” Reality Bites

As for the no energy but lots of energy thought?

Maybe it takes so much energy cause you have to dig down a little deeper (through a very very strong foundation) to find what is already there. And it takes a shitload of energy because you want to be really really careful as you dig through the foundation for fear you make irreparable damage to the existing foundation.

And it gets perplexing (hence the nth degree of over thinking that takes place) because love and friendship share many aspects in common that discerning the difference between the two isn’t just difficult but almost impossible.

Sure. Some people combine the two with a genuine love for their friends and a sincere friendship involved with their love relationship. And affection certainly is present in both styles of relationship. Friends often feel warm towards one another and share a hug, hand squeeze, or a friendly kiss on the cheek. Lovers progress further along the path than friends (yeah. sex.) but sex sometimes enters within a friendship (sometimes just as a trial … sometimes just as a drunken mistake – where over thinking then moves into a completely different stratosphere). So, yes, there are occasions where friendship may involve sex temporarily, as an experiment, or because that is an area you both enjoy and seek to share, without developing a love commitment. What a tangled web.

Anyway.

Add in admiration, respect and communication (typically caring conversations) which are also typically present whichever side of the line your relationship falls into.

I guess a key aspect in figuring this out is not a black & white thing (of course … it couldn’t be that simple). Is there a sense of some inner warmth and personal companionship or is it just time shared with someone who cares about everyone they know?

The crux of the issue seems to be the crashing together of two seemingly different things.

Best friends is the long and steady road. Passion is about ‘highs.’

So I would argue passion is the tricky part.

Infusing becomes the high risk maneuver.

Oh.

Infusing it is often “different”. Not bad. Just different.

It’s most likely not that Latin American salsa dancer throw caution to the wind wild abandoned passionate type.

It’s more careful caring passion.

And I think it often runs the risk of being misunderstood as “shouldn’t there be more” or “maybe something is missing”. And there may be something missing. But comfortable is tough. It is so good it is overlooked.

This whole discussion and hesitation all seems odd.

Because it seems kinda the logical thing to do this whole idea of falling in love with your best friend. It’s a person you feel the most comfortable with, you can tell them anything, you enjoy their company, and you trust them.

So. If you’re attracted to them as well you would think falling in love with them is quite the obvious next step.

I also believe that many people (definitely including myself) wants their romantic partner to be their best friend and that the emphasis shouldn’t be put on the romantic side (but not excluding “a friend I can sleep with”).

And it also seems the way you get emotional and physical satisfaction from this person, and that’s just a great thing for everyone.

But.

Wacky things happen when you fall in love with your best friend.

When you fall in love with your best friend you never know what to expect (which seems even weirder in that thru friendship you have probably faced everything together already).

Yeah. But. It can be the start of something beautiful or the ending of a friendship (with a HUGE thud) if the feelings aren’t returned.

Oh. Let’s be clear.

Deciding whether or not to tell them that you have fallen in love with them is one of the hardest decisions that you will ever make.

No matter which choice you make you will wonder if you made the right one until you feel secure in the status in of that relationship.

Being prepared to fight for that friendship is usually a weird priority in handling falling in love with your best friend (weird in that it is a defensive maneuver when in reality all energy should be invested in the offensive ‘lets fall in love!’ aspect).

What I do know is falling in love is a different experience for everyone.

And I do know that friendships are valuable things that make people feel secure and loved.

And I do know that with these two things said that falling in love with your best friend is a scary endeavor.

And handling it can be even scarier.

It’s hard not to panic on occasion.

You have trusted them with all of your secrets and they have been your rock through the hardest times of your life. But you have never trusted them with your heart.

Now.

The good news is they typically know you warts and all. All your baggage and they still like you.

So.

If they go along and fall in love that knowledge doesn’t disappear. They know it. And have decided … “what the hell … I can handle it as well as I could in friendship”.

So. Not to imply anything or getting ahead … if you fall in love with a best friend and they reciprocate they have accepted (just as you have) “for better or for worse.”

THAT is the prize.

Ok. This one (falling in love with your best friend) I have experienced and I do think it can work and be awesome. Tough? Yes. Maybe only tough because of the transition and nothing more.

Anyway.

On to love part 4 which is discussing the balance between sex & cerebral. And, no, that doesn’t just mean being a good thinker about sex.

“What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

So. I have dated several amazing women and not dumped them (or been dumped) before Christmas (to avoid giving a gift) or Valentine’s Day (for fear of commitment).

And in that moment, on that day, for that special someone, while I may have given gifts or tried to make the day a little more special I would envision these words would encapsulate the truly special relationships with those very few women I have ever said “I love you” to.

Here’s the deal. I get a brief email from 46bliss (ok. not the band because…well…anyway…figure of speech.) Jack Freudenheim, songwriter, emailed after we posted the One Hit Wonders list. Just in case you don’t know who 46bliss is think pop/electronic (and I hate the word “dream,” but reviewers always seem to use it … ok … like maybe a Zero 7 or maybe Air type band). I put their song “The Way you Are” on my list.

First. He wasn’t begging to get off the infamous, or not so famous, list of my one hit wonders.

Second. But. He and the band are unfortunately going to have to be replaced on the list. My list of one hit wonder bands certainly had a number of bands with several really good songs (just one great one) and 46bliss was one of them.

Jack dropped me a note to suggest I listen to “In a Long Time” (which he noted was his favorite) and then mentioned I may like the newest CD Wish Me Away (to accommodate my peculiar tastes in music).

I admit. I missed “In a Long Time” which is on their second cd just called 46bliss (and has “The Way You Are” on it). The CD Wish me Away also has several more Postal Service-like songs (which I like).

46bliss is now officially off my one hit wonder list (but still check out “The Way You Are”).

Hey. Just a note. If you are into this type of music (think club electronic) like maybe a 4 Strings or Chicane or Andain, then you should know 46bliss also has two remix CDs which Jack didn’t point out but I found cruising on cdbaby. Worth adding to your collection if this is your thing.

Editorial note: If more artists did this type of thing (drop a quick note to bloggers and rambler writers like me) the music industry would be a lot better off image wise and sales wise.

(Bear with me…a couple of them have at least one other good song and several are relatively young artists that have hope of shifting into “multiple hit wonders”)

Band of Horses “No One’s Gonna Love You“ – They may end up singing a better song but with such an unusual sound this song fits into their sweet spot perfectly. And the message with their sound makes it one of those songs that makes you want to put it number one on any mix tape you made for someone you loved.

Baby Animals “Painless“ – I don’t know where they came from or where they went. They only had one listenable song and this is it. Powerful driving song.

Lone Justice “Shelter” – Maria McKee was overall a wasted talent. This one song captures everything good about her and her talent. She is one of those singer songwriters you wonder what would have happened if she had found the “group” to play with.

Azure Ray “Displaced“ – Haunting. It has been used in TV shows several times. Maria Taylor, the lead singer has gone off and done some nice solo stuff but this song is the best.

It’s just a simple line
I can still hear it all of the time
If i can just hold on tonight
I know that nothing
Nothing survives
Nothing survives

I am displaced
I am displaced

The opening makes you stop. Listen. And think. You can’t ask for anything more in a song.

Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians “What I Am” – Philosophy is a dog’s smile and slippery rocks. I may never forgive her for marrying Paul Simon but this song is fun to listen to and makes you think a little.

Michelle Malone and Drag the River “Big Black Bag“ – Michelle Malone’s voice should have made it big. This song is bluesy and drags along with a slight harshness that makes it listenable over and over again.

46bliss. “The Way You Are” – the song was featured on Veronica Mars. When listening to it you figure you have to get their CD because they would be great. Don’t be fooled. This song is worth putting on any mix (and I keep hoping someone uses it for say a Military commercial or some real estate company or something). Not only was Veronica Mars a great TV show but it gave us this song.

Sneaker Pimps “6 Underground” – Everything else this group did is incredibly unlistenable. Then they go ahead and invite Nellee Hooper to mix and Kelli Dayton to sing and lo and behold it is the ‘one hit’ that is amazing to listen to.

Reubens Accomplice “This Town” – An unknown Arizona band who happened to write an outstanding song (that I am pretty sure never made it past college stations). The CD this song is on is pretty good but this song is the standout. It makes it onto my mp3 players all the time.

The Stabilizers “One Simple Thing” – Four minutes of non-stop hook and harmony. I believe this song comes from the only album they ever released (in 1990 or something like that). It’s kind of crazy they didn’t put anything else out. Great vocals, production and arrangement.

Ginny Owens “If You Want Me To” – She is Christian. And I would imagine this song is metaphorical for some god like thing. But if you ignore this and think of it as a love song it is pretty spectacular and thought provoking after a couple of beers thinking about someone you may love.

Mozella “Light years Away“ – “Shake my hand and say I’m about to screw you” in the second line. Doesn’t get any better.

Gorillaz “Feel Good Inc“ – I have a friend who calls this the laughing song. Nice mix of rap and Blur-like hooks.

Full Blown Rose “In the Light” – Wow. Killer female lead singer smoky voice. It is unfortunate the band couldn’t get out of its own way (egos and such) to make more music like this. I believe about the only place you can find this song is on the Daredevil soundtrack.

Jurassic 5 “What’s Golden“ – One of the most underappreciated bands of all time. They write rap with a message. Not angry. Not happy. Just to the point and fun to listen to. “What’s Golden” has a musical hook that people would kill for.

The Feeling “Sewn“ – Often called the ‘Na Na song’ it is beautifully crafted pop at its best. I am not sure I get all the words but I could sing along every day.

Filter “Hey Man Nice Shot“ – Everybody debates the reason this song was written but regardless it is about the way suicide is viewed and managed (glorified in all its horror) by media. And the impact suicides have on lives.

Gomez “See the World“ – I am relatively confident this band will add more hits to the list of songs they will do but for now this is the standout song. You kind of hope someone uses it in a critical movie soundtrack or a TV campaign so that it gets listened to.

Seether “Broken ” (with Amy Lee) – Dating at the time (Amy Lee of Evanescence and Shaun Morgan of Seether) the song is very non-Seether and the video is awesome.

Good Charlotte “River“ – Good Charlotte is a surprisingly good band with an odd reputation of goth and punk and whatever. Lots of glam to their image but they write incredible poppy hooks.

Pousette Dart Band “Amnesia“ – a Canadian band that never really made it big but they had a song called Amnesia that was played incessantly in New England bars in the late 70’s and would sound good today. One of the ultimate drinking bar songs that should never be forgotten.

Steve Forbert “Romeo’s Tune“ – odd folksy singer with one song that was catchy and great to listen to over a beer.

Frou Frou “Let Go” – Catchy. Upbeat. Great hook.

Alice Peacock “Some Things Get Lost” – Most of her songs are folksy but this one is somber, thoughtful and has the resonance to keep playing over and over. Captures the essence of finding “one of the ones” but at the wrong time. The lyrics capture life pretty well.

And last, but not least,

Mason Williams “Classical Gas” – C’mon. I cannot believe this song doesn’t make every one hit wonder list. Other than maybe American Pie I can’t think of any other song someone over say 28 or so can hear and immediately know what it is.