A few of our stories.

Our April topic of “Authenticity” was suggested a number of times, by guests who wanted to discuss conflicts between personal and work or relationship needs, standing up for something, finding “true self,” and the Imposter Syndrome (feeling like a fraud).

What if we are different people in different contexts — at work or with different groups of friends?

When is being inauthentic useful or better in some way?

How does social media impact how we express our selves, perceive others, or shape our identity?

What is the role of honesty, or expressing what we believe?

What’s the purpose of authenticity? What do we intend to get or be by being authentic?

‘Being authentic’ and ‘being true to yourself’ are popular ideas — when do people “use” or “perform” authenticity?

Below are some of our questions and takeaways from the discussion! Use them as a jumping off point to ask your own questions or have your own insights — take what is interesting or useful to you, and don’t worry about the rest.

Our March topic of “Sex Ed for Adults” was formerly “Sex Ed 2017” — the intention, both times, was to discuss how we learn about sex and relationships, what works, and what we would like to see more of. Through discussion, we realised that “education” feels limited to a time and place, but sex is learned about in many different ways… and so, this post is titled “Conversations About Sex.”

How do conversations about sex impact us over time? (conversations with teachers, fellow students, family, friends, co-workers, partners, etc)

Where would we like more discussion? (topics: how to communicate with partners, stigma around pleasure, sexual expression, gender identity, shame around desires, healthy porn usage, questioning relationship norms, role of marriage and children, love and sex, comfort with periods, infidelity and jealousy, having STDs, having dysfunction, sexualisation and desexualisation of certain groups or characteristics, objectification, consent, anatomy, safety, and more)

What’s stopped us from having more candid, useful, intimate conversations about sex and related topics? Where are there opportunities for more?

What would we like to see in sex education (for children or adults) going forward? How do we affect change?

Good curriculums already exist — how do we get buy-in from education, government, and other organisations? What changes do these institutions want? What would individual people working in the institutions want to see? What about their customers or stakeholders (parents)?

What does it mean to be sex-positive? Are we implying that others are sex-negative? Are we alienating others?

Below are some of our questions and takeaways from the discussion! Use them as a jumping off point to ask your own questions or have your own insights — take what is interesting or useful to you, and don’t worry about the rest.

Our Feb topic of “Date -> Marry -> Kids!?” was sparked by a guest’s comment that her parents were pushing her to marry and have children. The resulting discussion encompassed a number of topics:

What’s the purpose of relationships, for you? What do you desire or expect? How do you approach them?

How have your relationships evolved over time? What’s challenging? What’s working well?

What parts of monogamy, classic “dating progression,” traditional gender roles, etc work well for you — and what doesn’t?

What role does marriage play, for you? Why would you or did you get married?

How do/might children fit into your life?

What would dating look like if children were not a focus?

Below are some of our questions and takeaways from the discussion! Use them as a jumping off point to ask your own questions or have your own insights — take what is interesting or useful to you, and don’t worry about the rest.

We started with a bit of each person’s family background and why the topic appealed to everyone, and then let the conversation evolve. A broad spectrum of topics were discussed, and here we lay them into loosely defined categories along with takeaways:

On April 5th, we held a dinner on “How to Have Tough Conversations.” This dinner was sparked by previous attendees, who wanted to bring crucial, taboo conversations into their day to day life.

We had different definitions of tough, and what makes something tough. We began to explore the fears, expectations/assumptions, feelings, and norms that were involved. Below are some of our questions and thoughts.

As you read, notice what is useful to you — notice what you disagree with, and where that disagreement is coming from. These takeaways are not meant to support one position or another, but as raw ingredients for new thoughts and reflections!

On Feb 16th, we held a dinner on “Modern Love,” about the intersection of technology and dating… about what technology enables, alters, hinders, and creates in the area of love.

CTSTers were keen to discuss online dating experiences, the kind of connection technology encourages or discourages, changing definitions of love, miscommunications, hiding or sharing different parts of the self, porn, and more.

As you read, notice what is useful to you — notice what you disagree with, and where that disagreement is coming from. These questions and takeaways are not meant to support one position or another, but as raw ingredients for new thoughts and reflections!

Religion as a conversation topic was suggested very early on, in the beginning of Cut The Small Talk movement, when we didn’t know how to approach the topic without it being divisive. However, after almost a year’s experience of tackling potentially touchy topics like affairs, death, and drugs and realising that it is indeed possible to keep the evening relatively thought provoking yet civil, we decided to bring it to life.

Making a point of stating that we’re not interested in debating whose beliefs were more legit than others, at the beginning of the Dinner, we also stressed the focus on discussing how everyone was personally affected by their religions (or not), and how relationships, morality, etc were influenced by them.

Below are some discussion topics and takeaways, feel free to give us your comments!

The official definition Impostor syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist even in face of information that indicates that the opposite is true. It is experienced internally as chronic self-doubt, and feelings of intellectual fraudulence.

What would you modify or add to that? How has your own experience been?

On Dec 28th, 15 people had dinner and discussed the ups and downsides of the Impostor syndrome, modern definitions of success, pressure to conform, experiences and how they have changed over time, and how we would like to move forward.

(NSFW) On Oct 20th, we held a dinner on “Sex & Taboo.” The topic ranged from what is taboo for us and for society, to how we start conversations that are stereotypically hard to have and discover or explore what excites us.

The following is a compilation of
1) sexy and kinky resources and research (9 links)
2) group takeaways, ideas, questions, etc (on why sex is taboo, respect, asking for what you want and more)

As you read, notice what is useful to you — notice what you disagree with, and where that disagreement is coming from. These takeaways are not meant to support one position or another, but as raw ingredients for new thoughts and reflections!