Consumption of alcohol will not be permitted in indoor and outdoor common areas, parking lot, laundry room, or in any staff offices. In line with the Housing First model, residents may drink in their apartments, providing their behavior conforms to lease requirements regarding noise, etc. Case managers will work with residents when consumption becomes a threat to retaining housing or clearly impedes resident progress, as defined in 6.1 [below], and provide referral and/or case conference assistance regarding alcohol and substance abuse services or treatment options where appropriate.

6.1 — Goals & Outcomes (quoting the relevant portion)

Program success is measured by monitoring the following desired outcomes:

— Clients move into housing;

— Clients increase skills and income;

— Clients garner greater self-determination;

— Clients stay housed;

— Clients maintain progress made.

Of course, “chronically homeless” alcoholics have already failed repeatedly to do any of this, except for being housed for short periods before being evicted. And, if Karluk Manor in Anchorage, AK (that city’s Housing First facility, open since December, 2011) can serve as a guide, we can expect to see clients at 1175 Lee Hill dying of alcohol poisoning in their apartments, committing acts of violence against other clients, and continuing to cause problems in the immediate neighborhood and elsewhere in Boulder, CO.

My favorite minor character in Harper Lee’s classic novel “To Kill a Mockingbird” — a man I made an obscure reference to in a previous post — is Dolphus Raymond. He’s the fictional small town of Maycomb, AL’s eccentric, a role he accepts with some reservations, as you can see by reading the end of Chapter 19 and the first part of Chapter 20. I’d forgotten that it was Dill, not Scout, who discovered Mr. Raymond’s fondness for Coke in a bottle . . .

Who is this actor? He looks familiar, but I can’t find the name in any listing of the cast for the “To Kill a Mockingbird” movie.

As I said before, if I should ever return to the old hometown of Lexington, MO I think I’d become a character sitting in front of the old courthouse there, taking an occasional swig from a bottle concealed inside a brown paper bag — and never letting on that it’s a bottle of Coke, not booze.

Read Boulder County to add GOP election judges in the Times-Call. Well, it’s another election so naturally that means another screwup by Boulder County Clerk Hillary Hall, she of the degree in Culinary Arts. What an imbecile!

Tonight at my campsite: roadkill surprise.

Addendum 10/31/2014: It’s William Windom, who played the prosecutor in the movie version of “To Kill a Mockingbird” — and now I’m wondering if the character of Dolphus Raymond was written out of the screenplay. Anybody know?

Any Longmont, CO transient wanted by the law can probably be found at Boulder Shelter for the Homeless, Boulder Outreach for Homeless Overflow, or Bridge House. See:

Luis Gonzalez

The same can be said for transients on the lam from Denver. Remember, it’s your donations to the nonprofits which help to support these lawbreakers.

Frost inside my burrow when I got up before 5AM, from the condensation which forms on the inside of the tarp I use to cover all of my gear. Fall is here, for sure, and I’m enjoying the change of seasons. Nothing like bits of ice striking your face to wake you up!

“Mississippi Billy” and a couple of his drunken pals showed up in my neighborhood, around the corner of N. Broadway & U.S. 36, on Saturday and have been there since. Drinking, urinating in public, yelling, rasslin’ with each other (or maybe having sex, I didn’t want to look too closely), leaving discarded food and empty bottles and even items of clothing lying around, harassing passersby as they try to panhandle, passing out drunk, etc. Mississippi told me that Boulder PD had run homeless people away from the “horseshoe” area on Boulder Creek Path near Boulder High School, but it’s only the worst-behaved bums who get evicted from anywhere. I was driven to get a piece of cardboard and leave this sign on the wall where I sit and read:

STOP TRASHING

THE NEIGHBORHOOD

GO BACK TO DENVER

I also made it clear to these pickled idjits that I don’t want them sitting next to me, making me look guilty by association. I said something to the effect that I’m trying to be a part of the neighborhood that people like. They’ve moved about 50′ away, back towards the businesses which operate in that small commercial district in the 4900 block of N. Broadway. I know that some of you who are business owners and workers there read my blog; please feel free to call the Boulder County Sheriff’s Office at (303) 441-3600 and report these bums. I don’t own a cell phone, otherwise I’d make that call myself.

These are exactly the sort of chronic alcoholics whose names belong on a NO SALE list kept by bars and liquor stores, if and when Boulder, CO ever gets smart enough to adopt this policy.

The newbies on staff at Boulder Shelter for the Homeless are not yet up to speed. Without going into the particulars, it seems to have fallen to the Homeless Philosopher to set them straight. Maybe I should send Greg Harms, the executive director, a bill for my services.

Just to balance yesterday’s negative review of “The Catcher in the Rye” — here is its polar opposite in terms of literary worth: “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee on Goodreads. You know, if I should ever return to the old hometown, I think I’d become a character sitting in front of the old courthouse, taking an occasional swig from a bottle concealed inside a brown paper bag — and never letting on that it’s a bottle of Coke, not booze.

Leave it to some youngster to discover the truth:

Hmmm . . . Terzah, does this pic remind you of anyone?

Here’s an inexpensive do-it-yourself alternative to the tiny camper featured in yesterday’s blog post for $6,500: How to Build a Teardrop Trailer . . . $500 sounds much more reasonable!

Here’s a great concept — except that the price tag is grossly inflated, like every other type of “dwelling” in Boulder, CO: Pint-sized dwelling can help extend your camping season in the Daily Camera. I’ve seen several of these passing by the corner of N. Broadway & U.S. 36 in the past year or so, dreamed of owning one, and now have been cruelly jerked back to reality. $6,500? That’s just NUTS:

A camper from Boulder-based Colorado Teardrop Campers is light enough to be pulled by a small car. (Teardrop Campers / Courtesy photo)

I’ve learned my lesson — so I won’t be pointing out that this individual has the IQ of a fence post. Don’t want to upset all of those who think they’re ENTITLED to behave stupidly and have several agencies spend umpteen $$$ on resources to rescue them.

More unintended consequences of Colorado’s love affair with getting stoned, as explained in this commentary by Jeremy Meyer from the Denver Post: Spot the pot candy, Colorado. As far as I’m concerned, anyone who would give this poison to kids at any time ought to be strung up.

Three mornings in a row now, I’ve complained to the staff at Boulder Shelter for the Homeless because the dirty floors in the men’s emergency dorm and restroom/shower area are NOT being swept and mopped on a daily basis. It appears they haven’t been touched at all since the first night BSH was open this season, October 15th. Greg Harms and Ardith Sehulster (the executive director and board president, respectively) don’t live in filth like this! Seriously, if I owned a Smartphone I’d certainly take a few pics and post them here, so you could be as disgusted as I am. Make no mistake, some lazy bum in the First Step/Transition Program is assigned to do this chore, but has been shirking his duty continuously without consequence from BSH staff.

Obviously this is the main problem faced by the homeless. Those who stay in the city are restricted by laws against putting up any kind of temporary shelter. This is why the homeless are so often seen huddling in doorways, alcoves, tunnels, etc. Many cities have outlawed sleeping outdoors, which gives police the power to harass anyone they see lying down with their eyes closed. In fact, as long as you can be seen by anyone at night, your safety is at risk.

Homeless shelters may be no better. Filled with drugs and mental illness, they can be more dangerous than the streets, and many transients know enough to avoid them. Similar problems exist in tent cities. Diseases and parasites can easily spread when many people, all with poor hygiene, live close together.

Wooded areas appear safer and can be found throughout cities in the form of ravines, forests, valleys and parks. Some homeless build shelters there using tarps, plywood, cardboard boxes, or whatever else they can find. This may work for a while. But authorities keep tabs on these encampments and sooner or later come to take them down. Also, any shelter can be a target for thieves and squatters when you’re not there. Its mere presence during the day tells everyone that homeless person is living there.

I get around these problems by using a relatively inexpensive “pop-up “camouflage dome tent found online. A pop-up tent can be set up and taken down extremely fast, with very little effort. The idea is to find a secluded area in the woods or a local park, put up the tent at sunset, and then take it down again at or before sunrise the next morning. There is no campsite for anyone to find because it does not exist during the day. This is also known as stealth camping and many long-distance cyclists use it to avoid staying in motels. They camp on public or private land and take off before anyone knows they were there.

Your safety will come from being totally hidden. For anyone to see you sleeping at night, they would have to enter the forest after dark, leave the path at the right spot, and see through your camouflage. Even in broad daylight, a camo tent amid foliage is hard to spot. I havespent several nights in city parks using this method and haven’t yet been detected. A tent is one of the best possible temporary shelters you can use and gives a sense of security, even if it is mostly psychological. It does need a relatively flat, clear area of ground to be set up, so scout locations before you need them and clear them of debris before nightfall.

An even smaller shelter that fits practically anywhere is the bivy sack– essentially a zippered bag just large enough for your body, made of waterproof, breathable material. Some fold down to the size of a water bottle. A bivy will keep you dry and sheltered but won’t have room for anything else, like changing clothes. Some come with a framework that holds the fabric away from your face for some breathing room.

Satellite images on Google Maps are great for finding dense woods in your area. You want areas that are more “wild” and overgrown, not those which are obviously mowed and well maintained by the parks department(though if you are very diligent about always taking your tent down at sunrise, you should have no problems either way). Find spots which are totally hidden from both the trail and the street. At the same time, they should not be too far from places you want to go during the day. Eventually you will have memorized a few ideal spots around the city and can rotate between them so that you never camp in the same place too long. I use a heavy camouflage tarp as a groundsheet, protecting the tent floor from sharp debris. This can double as a cover for your gear, keeping it dry and hidden in the forest while you go about your daily business.

My own approach has been to stay away from other homeless people who like to spend the overnight hours drinking and drugging, yelling and fighting, and in general drawing as much attention to their presence as possible. Inevitably, this results in EVERYONE being told to move on by the authorities, and understandably so. If you’re alone and well-behaved, both property owners and law enforcement will usually give you “a wink and a nod” and even stop by simply to check on your welfare.

Very few chronically homeless people here in Boulder, CO seem to be able to act in their own best interests, however, and this is why so many resources are devoted to keeping them from dying on the streets. Better, in my view, to build a sufficient number of Tiny Houses for everyone in need, with a community kitchen/dining area and restroom/shower facilities.

Being at Boulder Shelter for the Homeless at 6AM and staying just long enough to shower (and do laundry if necessary) is about all I can tolerate. It gets worse every year, with more and more mentally ill transients from Denver and elsewhere taking resources needed by Boulder County’s own homeless people. Now, BSH has decided that a kennel will no longer be provided for dogs owned by the homeless; presumably, this means that ANYONE can claim that their mangy critter is a service animal and keep it inside the facility at all times — including going through the serving line and eating in the dining room, dog hair (and worse) being shed in other people’s scrambled eggs.

Welcome, Travelers! Anything goes at BSH, where those in authority sit up late at night thinking of new ways to make a bad situation even worse:

Untrained dogs and their human handlers

I asked the BSH staff member on duty at the front desk if any inquiries would be made of dog owners claiming that their canine companion is a properly trained “service animal” — not surprisingly, she couldn’t answer my question. See: IAADP Minimum Training Standards for Public Access. It’s moot, unfortunately, because federal law allows for dog owners to use the “honor system” in response to questions. In other words, they can lie with impunity up to the point where their dog causes problems.

When it is not obvious what service an animal provides, only limited inquiries are allowed. Staff may ask two questions: (1) is the dog a service animal required because of a disability, and (2) what work or task has the dog been trained to perform. Staff cannot ask about the person’s disability, require medical documentation, require a special identification card or training documentation for the dog, or ask that the dog demonstrate its ability to perform the work or task.

More to the point of bogus service animals is this excerpt:

A person with a disability cannot be asked to remove his service animal from the premises unless: (1) the dog is out of control and the handler does not take effective action to control it or (2) the dog is not housebroken. When there is a legitimate reason to ask that a service animal be removed, staff must offer the person with the disability the opportunity to obtain goods or services without the animal’s presence.

This is why I’ve suggested that the owners of service animals be permitted to eat breakfast and dinner in the day room at BSH rather than the dining room, and they might do so with their dog as far as I’m concerned. Otherwise, the untrained mutts are likely to be shoving their faces into trays of food belonging to anybody at random.

BTW, almost all of the service animals owned by homeless people I’ve seen here in Boulder, CO are out of control, and you can tell right away if you sit near the front of the SKIP bus as I do. Usually, these dogs sniff your crotch as they’re boarding with their owners, who make no attempt to correct this misbehavior.