Friday, October 4, 2013

Another Freebie

A guest at the Georgian hotel in
Santa Monica
wanted a housecall, said the desk clerk. She had a urine infection.

That was good news. The Georgian
was not far, and urine infections are usually easy.

“The guest has gone to dinner,”
the clerk added. “She’d like you to come at 9 o’clock.”

I hate it when hotels make an
appointment without consulting me. I want to talk to guests before a visit.
It’s surprising how often their self-diagnosis is wrong. They need to know how
much I charge and that they’ll have to pay directly. Learning this, some guests
reconsider. A few guests assume the doctor is in the hotel, so it’s no big deal
if they’re late or decide to skip the consultation entirely. Finally, it’s
stressful to kill time at home, hoping another call doesn’t arrive to
complicate matters.

Sure enough, at 8:30, as I was
about to leave, the phone rang. A guest at the Airport Hilton was vomiting.
Vomiters don’t like to wait. There was no way to contact the Georgian guest to
suggest a delay, but I decided I could make the visit and reach the Hilton in
an hour. I hurried off.

Freeway traffic stopped cold at
my exit. Santa Monica
was holding an arts festival. The streets were jammed; the police were out in
force directing traffic and manning barriers. After half an hour, I had
advanced two blocks when I realized the beachfront, including the Georgian, was
sealed off. Normally, I would park six blocks away and walk to the hotel, but
this would make me outrageously late for the poor vomiter at the Hilton.

Guests usually agree to wait
when I explain the problem.

“I just flew in from London. There’s no way I
can stay awake,” said the Georgian guest, hearing that I’d like to return when traffic eased.

In the end, I phoned a
prescription into a nearby pharmacy and made my way to
the airport.