Friday, September 30, 2016

Participants at Diversity workshop sponsored by Centers for Spiritual Living.
Group photos by Tracy Rymes

[September, 2016] With some
trepidation I attended a diversity training offered this week by one of my
spiritual communities, Centers for Spiritual Living (CSL). My own local center
in Falls Church, Virginia, has experienced tension over the value of focusing
on diversity vs oneness. I feared the workshop might promote one set of right
answers. What I got was the opposite: an acknowledgment that privileging either
diversity or oneness falls short. For me, the workshop made clear that the only
way to balance these apparent opposites is via a compassion as open-hearted as
it is open-minded. I can feel shifts continuing in me.

I was nervous going in because I have
a foot in three communities with different views. My predominately White center
of CSL in Falls Church teaches the oneness of all things behind cultural and
religious differences. My predominately Black church in Fairfax takes the Bible
literally and takes a bootstrappy, hands-off stance to politics. The pastor, my co-author Bishop Phil Thomas, said at a recent Bible study, "I don't care
if they call you [the N word]. You need to just love them right back. Give them
some living water from your well. That's what the world is thirsty for. You've
got what it takes to fix this mess."

I am also active in Integral philosophy which seeks to "transcend and include" all views. So some
of my perspectives could be labeled not only politically incorrect but
spiritually incorrect as well. And I'm not as mature as I'd like to be about
managing the contradictions.

A CONTAINER OF OPEN INQUIRY: THROWING
OUT THE BOOK

Eugene Holden

Last Saturday, 24 of us gathered at the Takoma Park center of CSL
DC. Half the group was White, half Black. Within seconds of walking in the door,
I knew I was in the right place. One of the co-facilitators, Eugene Holden from CSL headquarters in
Colorado, was joking informally with someone. Instantly I trusted him. I sensed
deep spiritual grounding and a broad perspective. I already knew the other facilitator,
Rev. Alex Escudero. She is senior minister at CSL DC and beloved for her compassionate
embrace of all peoples. Teamed with Holden, they would create a truly safe
space for all views. Indeed, they literally threw out the book on how the day
was supposed to be structured. The workbook for the class as originally
designed focuses on how spiritual centers can be more inclusive. They invited
us to read the workbook on our own time. Instead we would have mostly open
sharing.

The facilitators invited us to share
how we are feeling in this anguished season of awareness that racial injustice
has not gone away. (The facilitators acknowledged the existence of a full array
of diversity issues, but the day's participants and current events focused this
day on race). Eugene started by saying
he was feeling anger, and under that was sadness. In fact, he said that some of
his fellow diversity trainers have been asking, "Does diversity
work?" I believe this opening catalyzed the expression of authentic and
radically mixed feelings that followed.

MIXED FEELINGS ACROSS RACIAL LINES We heard about the prevalence of racial
threats and slights that people of color live with. But we also heard
about mixed feelings in their reactions. [We pledged confidentiality, so I
received explicit permission from any individuals quoted below.]

Dr. Ray Anderson, an interfaith
minister, martial arts master, and personal hero of mine, reported being called
the N word from a passing car on a DC street just recently. He showed us a
trembling hand to express how he felt. "I know I am divine and they are
divine and we are One. But right then it was a blessing I don't have psychic
powers, because I wanted to flip the car."

His close associate Tracy reported
growing up in the projects of New York where some of the police were Klan
members. But she also is friends with a White police officer and sympathetic to
his perspective. She sometimes finds herself blaming Black people for
contributing to tensions. She clutched her stomach in expressing the toxic brew
of rage, embarrassment, and shame that co-exists with a spiritual awareness of Oneness.

OPEN HEART, NERD MIND My heart opened as I heard these and other
stories. I have been aware for a couple decades that racial injustice did not
go away when I thought it did in the 60's. I know that minorities still face everything
from social slights to life threatening unequal treatment. Perhaps those
situations are far more pervasive than I realized, and getting worse.

But my heart response gets
sidetracked by my head response. I am a nerdy analyzer who sees at least two
sides to everything. I forget to acknowledge the truth in Side One before
barging on to Side Two. Having Black people in the room express mixed feelings
released the pressure I felt to argue for another side. I still did so on a
couple points--like when Rev. Ray said we call it "white privilege"
instead of "majority privilege" because white people are responsible
for most of the colonization around the world. I wish I'd said, "Yes,
that's true," before saying, "But every group favors a 'we' over a
'they.'"

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND SPIRITUAL
OPTIMISM VS SPIRITUAL BYPASS Luckily, a Black woman expressed some of my
contrary thoughts so I didn't have to. Her grandfather had worked hard to
succeed in tougher times. Everybody has to be responsible for themselves. We
attract what we project. In the long term of many incarnations, all will evolve
to wholeness..

Rev Sunday Cote

At about this point, Rev. Sunday Cote
of CSL Leesburg gently reminded us of the slippery slope between personal
responsibility and blaming the victim. "Knowing we are One should not
preclude compassion or taking action to make it better," she said. Someone
mentioned spiritual bypass.

Rev. Alex Escudero

Indeed, Eugene then asked us to
discuss the value of ignoring differences vs celebrating differences as a way
to enhance oneness. Most of us were able to argue both sides of this key
question. The tension between them expresses what we call in Integral theory a
"polarity"-- two values that couldn't exist without each other.
Another aspect of Integral theory tells us that we will lean toward one pole or
the other at different phases in our lives. Our discussion brought home to me
the waste of energy in fighting over which value is better. We must find ways
to integrate them.

PRIVILEGE WALK MAKES IT REAL At one point we went outside to do a
"Privilege Walk" exercise. We lined up shoulder-to-shoulder. Eugene called out a series of questions. For
each one, we were to take a step forward or a step back. For example:

If your parents had to work nights
and weekends while you were growing up, take one step back.

If you were born in
the United States, take one step forward.

At the end, I was one of the people
at front. Rev. Ray was in the very back.

Our Privelege Walk. You can see my head just above the trunk of the red car at left. Dr. Anderson is far right.

I loved the exercise. It made real
and universal the concept of "White Privilege," which has otherwise
sounded shaming to me. Someone pointed out that depending on who the
participants are, a white person could have ended up at the back. My Integral
friend David Hartful said, "Yes, but you'll rarely have a group in which
Black people end up in front."

That was a major wallop moment for me
-- along with another person's observation that those in back could see
everyone else ahead of them. Those in front must choose to turn around and look
back. Another "Aha" moment. (See video of a Privliege Walk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD5f8GuNuGQ )

THE HEAD SLAPPING MOMENT

David Hartful

But it was
David's final comment that struck me hardest of the day. David is an engineer
and a self-described "nerd" who shares my fascination with Integral
philosophy. ((Watch for his forthcoming blog on how approaches to racism evolve). He reports numbing himself to comments from Blacks that he "acted
white" by studying hard in college, reading voraciously, and getting a
good job. In our final round of comments he said, "It was good to be here
because so many White people came. I didn't know any White people cared."

Suddenly I realized how wrong I am to
take for granted that people know I care. (My husband Andy will tell you I make
the same mistake with him). Here I am impatient to say, "Come on team,
let's pull together." But I don't make time to express my sadness and
dismay at the slights and injustices some team members endure--and my
willingness to do whatever I can about it. For that I am sorry. I'm not sure
how best to make up for it. But I did ask several people afterward to tell me
about their personal experiences with racism. It seemed like a start.*

FINDING WHAT'S OURS TO DO The final
round asked each person to share what they wanted to do to make things better.
The room was long on enthusiasm, though short on specifics. I said I'll work to
be more mindful of not being part of the problem. I felt a bonding with everyone there and didn't want to leave.

UNITING IN THE VALUE OF SPIRITUAL
PRACTICE One last power moment I want to
share. Rev. Alex is from Colombia in South America. She mentioned her own mixed
feelings about identity. She is adopting the term Latinx over the gender-based
Latina or Latino. She showed us a video that tied together the cultural and
spiritual themes of the day. It features Jerry Tello, a Mexican American who is
internationally recognized as an advisor on gang prevention and family healing.
He recounts the impact of having a grandmother that prayed for him, letting him
know he was loved and cared for by a lineage of ancestors. I was deeply moved
and heard several sniffles in the room. It provided one more level of support
for those of us who believe that regular spiritual practice is one way we can
help. Check it out below.

*AFTERWORDS: TUNING IN, SPEAKING OUT,
WORKING TOGETHER A Black friend suggested follow-up readings for me. The
authors advise against asking people of color to share their experiences of
racism because it is too painful to do so. Instead I should do research via reading,
they said.

The authors tell White people to
speak up for justice and to step in when we witness instances of bias. I can
recall three such instances in my life. Once I sat frozen while another White
person stood up against the insult. Once I spoke out. And the third time, which
was just this week, I used body language to convey support to the Black person.
I will pray to be more alert to such instances and to be guided for right action.

Part of what gets in my way is
complexity: that many apparent fixes bring new problems. And there is so much
suffering in the world. I have to trust Spirit to focus my efforts where they
can do the most good -- after I've done my homework.

Spirit may have nudged me two weeks
ago.

I was at a crowded Dunkin Donuts
where a couple I took to be Sudanese were arguing at a table behind me. The man
threw a cup of hot coffee on the woman. Then he seemed to be either blocking
her exit or trying to get her to come with him. I jumped in between them, gave
him the evil eye, and asked her if she needed assistance. He left as she called
the police. Later she said to me, "I don't need to stay with him and his
wife. I can get my own place." Dear God, I thought, is this a case of
domestic slavery?

This incident
quickened my own impatient thought of, "We all better find a way to cope
with our own obstacles, cause we've got big stuff to work on together in the
world."

About Me

Interested in the interface between reason and religion, I'm a gently fallen-away Catholic who became enthralled by the New Thought teachings of Ernest Holmes. Then Ken Wilber's Integral Theory saved me from the fringe parts of New Age and softened me up for an adventure at a black, fundamentalist church--which in turn led to the amazing adventures in my book. Quite a journey! I also now coordinate the DC Ken Wilber Meetup.