We did go to the peace march in San Francisco this weekend. It was an really amazing thing, seeing all those people. We shot about a dozen rolls of film, which will take me hours to scan, but I’m going to put up the best photos online. I also got back all our vacation photos from September, which also need scanned. Guess what I’ll be doing this weekend?

I’m quite tired, but the film looks so good. I printed up some of the black and whites for a critique tomorrow. I am managing to impress myself this term with how well my shots are coming out. I must finally be learning something. Links of scans to follow, in the next few days.

I don’t have much to say, as I sit here mulling over stuff. So it’s going to be sort of a catch-all of thoughts.

First, I recommend reading Sandra Steingraber’s book Having Faith, and a book called Our Stolen Future by J. Peterson Meyers (among others). These two books are at the heart of some revolutionary ideas about child-bearing and how we are damaging our futures with chemical pollutants. We need to change our thinking, and we need to do it now if we are to protect our futures. I’ve now heard both of these authors/scientists speak, and they are fantastic. Please read their books.

DH and I are pondering going to San Francisco for a Not In Our Name rally. If we do, I probably won’t post again until Sunday night or Monday. If not, well, then we just won’t have gone. Duh.

I’m very tired, and I don’t know why. Argh. St. John’s Wort. How often do I say that, and then NOT actually take it? One of these days, I need to just commit. It’s just difficult, I hate ingesting stuff. Although, after hearing from the speakers I mentioned above, I might as well just get over it already. We already have so much stuff floating around in our bodies, it doesn’t matter much if I add some herbs or meds to it. Which just bums me out more. Snurf.

Three things that bug me: mentioning my weight (“You really need to lose weight”), telling me how I should exercise more (I already work out more than most people), telling me that I should eat less fast food (I *never* eat fast food. I got fat eating the healthiest food out there, NOT fast food. Fast food is for garbage cans, not humans). Yes, I have anger problems when it comes to my weight and body image. It’s hard enough being fat in today’s world without hating yourself. It’s very hard to lose weight–it’s a slow process, it takes time. So when someone (like a person’s mom) keeps bringing it up, it ticks me off. Especially when said someone is so proud of how she’s lost weight because of all the illnesses she’s had. Let’s talk about an UNhealthy attitude. Having lost 50 lbs. because you couldn’t eat is NOT healthy. We call that starvation, and I shudder to think of the nutrient deficiencies she has.

I’m so tired of it all sometimes. I can see how a few more years of this makes people turn to stomach stapling surgeries. I know someone who went from a size 24 to a size 6 in about 8 months from that surgery. Is it tempting? Hell yes. Is it healthy? Hell no. She has so many nutrient deficiencies it’s not funny.

I just want to be healthy. Is that too much to ask? Right now, my doctor says I’m a healthy fat person. I refuse to become an unhealthy thin person for the sake of “losing weight.”

I had a decent weekend. Sort of had a meltdown on Saturday, but it was a very emotional day. I hate seeing my mom in the hospital.

The 4H meeting was great! The kids had so much fun with Mr. Plant (my little brother, who was game to having leaves and flowers taped to him, and “roots” tied to his ankles), learning about how plants need nutrients to grow. I think I’ll go to their next meeting to help out as well. It was too much fun.

Today (Sunday still) I went to a peace circle in Portland. We circled both sides of the Willamette River, using the bridges. It was beautiful and moving. It’s so maddening that the administration and congress is refusing to listen to so many people lifting their voices in protest to an unjust war.

Next weekend, I think we’ll be going to San Francisco. DH is using the subject of war protesters for an ethnographic film project, and we’d like to go the the peace action they’re having (for film, and to participate). We’ll see how that works out, it’s a long drive.

I used my new camera today. I love it. Love it love it love it. I won’t pick on people who use autofocus cameras anymore. They’re addicting. I’ll always have a soft spot for my old Vivitar though, and will still use it. It’s a great, albeit old, camera.