Now I have hit rock bottom I'm feeling like my life isn't worth anything..... All I seem to do is take my son to nursery and go shopping as well as cleaning...

I never go anywhere as we don't have the money, and I can't really go to groups or anything like that coz I'm not good in big crowds....

I am starting to feel really lonely and the only person I got to talk to is my 3 year old son.. (my partner is always working)

I some times feel like leaving him (even tho I really don't want to coz I love him with all my heart) but it feels like we don't do anything.... I just wanna feel like I have a life, I have no mates round by where I live, and all my family live up north so I can't go and see them please can someone say they have felt the same ways??? I don't feel like a fag unless I'm stressed but even then I don't have one coz then everything I have worked towards will have been wasted..... Please can someone help me ??? I am feeling really bad I just wanna be on a high again.

14 Replies

Wish I could give you a great big fat hug (it would be fat because Ive put on a few pound)

I remember being at home with a young child (10 years ago now) and feeling exactly the same, its really hard. The fact you have managed to quit smoking for a whole month is incredible - you are amazing ! I really hope this is just a low day, we all have them. Remind yourself why you are doing this and perhaps put a little bit of what your not spending on fags aside so you can have a bit of a treat. If things are a bit tight, try and get out to do free stuff in the park with your little un, feed the ducks, play in the park

That's my problem I can't even go to the park with my son, I'm always cleaning and the park around here if full of young teenagers drinking and I don't want my son round that.... I have been feeling myself slipping lately, like I'm feeling so alone and isolated, I can't seem to shift it, and now it's making me thing about leaving my partner I have asked him for help ( come with me to a few getups for the first few times) but he doesn't seem to want to I just really don't know what to do I don't wanna leave him but I'm feeling that I have to

Sounds to me like you might be a bit depressed - not just miserable I mean medically depressed.

Might it be worth going and having a chat with your Doctor? You do sound very low you poor thing.

Could you not get away for a bit and stay with your family. I know you said money is tight but coaches are not very expensive and perhaps getting away from your OH might make you feel better and see his good points and why you want to be with him?

The problem is I live in the west midlands and my family live in liverpool/blackpool and I only get £30 to my self every month and that goes on my son. Plus my son would have to be taken out of nursery

Doctors would put me on anti depressants and I really don't want to ne on them as I found them really bad when I was on them b4...... I don't know what to do just feel like I have no human contact with any one except my son

i keep mentioning this on posts, i think pepople will get bored of me but i think a big reason we feel miserable after quitting is tha our brains just aren't getting all the happy chemicals that smoking flooded them with... and one possible cure is to try and put them there with a bit of exercise.... not the kind of exercise you get from cleaning, but something to make you out of breath... jogging on the spot maybe if you can't leave the house?

it must be hard not to feel like you can go to the park now the sun is shining, and that may be a part of why you are feeling at a low ebb. as a city dweller myself i know where you are coming from there. also it is difficult being a northerner in the midlands, though people are nice and friendly there's nothing like having fellow northerners arround to chill out with (can you hear a displaced northerner speaking :)) there should be a northerners anonymous group near you, just lean out the window and shout "by 'eck" or some such and see what happens!

Pmsl that one made me giggle it's been a few days since I felt like smiling at anything lol. Yes it's hard fro me coz all my family r up north.... I gave been thinking alot about my ex (my babys dad) and remembering what my life was like with him ( yes it was hard and we had arguments and stuff) but we had alot of fun and we did things like went out places and I felt comftable going places with him coz he was a familiar face.... I'm starting to feel feelings that I had for him b4 he moved away.... But idk.... I love my partner I have now and he and my son are my everything but idk why I am thinking of him

I agree with the message above. There's been tonnes of research carried out looking at the effect of exercise on mental health and it is always proven to have a positive effect. While it may not solve all your problems, it may help you to have a clearer mind and enable you to make more rational decisions.

Give the fam a call on the phone. I also wondered if anyone could come and visit you for a day/weekend in the near future so you have something to look forward to. Could anyone in your partner's family/friends look after your son every now and then to give you a break? You sound like you deserve one!

I remember feeling trapped as hell when my boys were very small and I didn't really know anyone. I think you're doing so well to have quit under the circumstances - how strong is that?! You should be so proud.

Even though you don't like crowds, even if you feel insecure and shy, I really think you desperately need to have some social contact. Loneliness breeds depression. Maybe there's a smallish mother and toddler group you could go to? Lots of local churches run them, they're not huge and overwhelming. The kids give you a starting point for conversation if you don't feel that great about talking to strangers. Or maybe there's a small mother/child swim session or something you could take him to? If you have your little one with you and have them to focus on, it might help you to overcome your difficulties. Even if you only made one friend locally, it would be worth it for that alone. Maybe your GP or practice nurse could give you some help and advice?

I think the advice about getting a family member to come and visit is an excellent one. Or a friend from home. You need to offload on someone, and to have some company, and maybe some practical help.

sometimes i think i'm depressed and then i just realise that its just that i have a lot of things to work through, i mean heaven knows i've felt down from time to time through this quit but there's always some change you can make to find a way through - someties its only the smallest thing you can change and it makes a big difference, like boo says a doc could advise on some therapy things, and peaky's ideas sound brill too,

This is the stuff that makes me feel low, I arrange to meet up with people I know but then they back out at the last minute. None of them drive so they would have to be on a bus for an hour... And I have been to see them. It's the sort of stuff that makes me wanna give up... My partner has been depressed but feels better now but I just don't know how to stop myself feeling like this I don't wanna think of my ex but I seem to be lately and I really don't know why I don't know if it's me or the relationship that's the problem

for example the goal 'stop myself feeling like this' is a big goal, you need to break it up into little steps....

a little goal might be 'draw up a list of people to ask about what support networks there are around here',

even taking a small step towards our final goal can make us feel better, at the end of the day you feel like you've at least done something today,

i used to have just that thing about people cancelling on me, used to make me down to, then one day i just thought stuff that, they can call me instead needless to say i go out less these days! but at least i don't get thaos body blows to my self esteem, and that's important to me, couldn't tell you why, think it's something to do with the way i am socially, but i don't look too deep

This is a post I put on here when I was about 6 weeks into my quit. It was winter the weather was bad, I'm a driving instructor and I was earning no money and could not see how I would get through. I thought this may help you to understand that it is your quit that could be exaggerating everything that you would normally be able to deal with.

Maybe I'm wrong but I know that around this time I was very down and everything felt so bad I didn't know how to cope with it. I do know this last winter was worse but I coped with it much better probably because smoking didn't come into the equation.

Reading this thread may help and like the others said I wish I could come and give you a big hug. I hope saying that doesn't make it worse.

Your mind will be playing lots of tricks on you just now I know and remember how hard it was for me.

the nhs smokefree website has a couple of relaxation mp3s to download. theyre useful for switching off for ten mins away from unhappy feelings. i think quitting smoking is a bereavment the loss of a friend that was always there[but a friend with a high cost] get some support from smoking cessation. excercise is good for lifting mood. small steps are achievable and add up. phone your family ,write on this forum ,dont be alone