A quick quiz

I know my kids know all the right answers to this quiz. Because they hear about them in lectures pretty much every day.

They are still not the answers they choose.

I think they must like hearing the lectures.

1. You’re nearly six years old and you’ve been taking weekly dance lessons for coming up on two years. When should you start to look for your clothes to get ready for your dance lesson?
a. On the day of my dance lesson.
b. When my mom reminds me we have 15 minutes before we leave.
c. When my mom reminds me we have 10 minutes before we leave and I need to get dressed RIGHT NOW
d. When my mom reminds me we have 5 minutes to leave and I HAD BETTER BE DRESSED RIGHT NOW
e. When my mom says, “Let’s go!”

2. When you return home, what do you do with your dance clothes?
a. Put them in the appointed dance bag my mother bought for me two years ago, which goes in a specific place, so they’ll be there.
b. Put them in the laundry so they’ll get clean.
c. Hang them in the closet or fold them in my drawer.
d. Wear them for the next three days and then hide them under my mattress
e. Wait . . . they were just here a week ago . . . . . . ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

3. You own three pairs of shoes. You need to wear your shoes every day for school and play. What do you do with your shoes when you take them off?
a. Put them on the appointed shoe storage device (shelf, basket, area) my mom made for us.
b. Put them in my closet.
c. Put them in my room.
d. Leave them in the middle of the floor, making sure to NOT remember which room that was in, even if there are only three logical choices. (Note to self: make sure those are the last places you look!)
e. Stuff one under the couch and take the other upstairs to the bathroom, just in case.

4. You take a backpack to school. Every. Single. Day. What do you do with it when you get home?
a. Hang it in the front closet on the hooks my mom had her dad install for us, right at our height.
b. Stuff it in the front closet and hope the door shuts. You know, if someone else were to shut it.
c. Leave it near the front closet, leaving a trail of all my school work throughout the house to lead me back to it.
d. Wear it until it sloughs off naturally, like a snake’s skin.
e. Dude, where’s my backpack???

5. Your mom and dad have a rule about no eating downstairs, and preferably eating only at the dining room table. Where do you eat?
a. At the dining room table, upstairs.
b. Upstairs, while wandering around.
c. Downstairs, but I’m very careful, because that’s the spirit of the law.
d. Downstairs, but I kinda forgot to destroy the trash evidence….
e. Downstairs. Trash, half-full glasses of milk, partially eaten fruit, even partially chewed bites attest to this. But you will not find the glasses of milk or partially eaten food until it is too late.

6. You have to go to the bathroom. What do you do?
a. Announce my intention to go to the bathroom.
b. Actually go into the bathroom.
c. Use the bathroom.
d. Some of the above.
e. All of the above, but not necessarily in that order.

7. You have a stomach bug. What do you do?
a. Run for the toilet.
b. Bring a bowl, basin or bucket to bed with me.
c. Aim for the floor.
d. Roll over.
e. Turn my head.
f. Find my mom like a SMART vomit missile with a homing beacon.

8. You’re playing with your baby brother, but when you put a cardboard box on him, he screams in terror. What do you do?
a. Take it off as fast as I can! Sorry, brother. Here, have hugs.
b. Take it off . . . I guess?
c. Take it off when my mom yells at me to.
d. Back away slowly. Hide.
e. Take his toy away and then hold the box down. That’ll give him something to cry about.

9. It is the dead of winter. There is a foot of snow on the ground, which you played in yesterday. How do you dress to go out today?
a. Heavy coat, hat, scarf, mittens, sweater and snow boots. I hate to be wet and cold!
b. Two, or maybe three of those things over reasonably warm clothing. You know, long sleeves.
c. A sweater and either a hat, coat, scarf, or mittens, but only because it’s/they’re my favorite color.
d. A short sleeve shirt and tennis shoes.
e. Swimsuit.

10. It’s time for bed, and you’re very tired. What do you do?
a. Brush my teeth, put on pajamas, finish the rest of my bedtime routine, and go to bed.
b. Brush my teeth and go to bed. (Fear the sugar bugs!)
c. Go in my room and fall asleep somewhere.
d. Pick a fight with someone. Anyone. Everyone.
e. Cry.