Also, this is my last ditch effort to get organized. Of course, on this website I sound organized. I sound like I have goals. I can assure you, for every part of order in my life, there is an equal amount of chaos.

Yes, I fully realize this is probably asking too much. I also don't have a single friend who fits into all of these categories. And really, I'm not sad about it. I love my pirate friends. The bastards. They all have their perks, and strong suits. Sure they aren't perfect, who is? But they are mine. And I can't lie, I'm not always proud. I'm not always excited about them. Nor can I say I'm even excited to even hang out with them sometimes. (A shame on everyone's part.) But I still love them. I mean expecting these things out of dirty pirates is just expecting too much. Pirates are a different breed. And I am one of them. We take what we want, when we want. Rape, pillage, and plunder. As much as I differentiate myself from them, I am still one of them. Even if it is only by association. I don't know if I could even retain a relationship with someone who had every single quality I dream of. B...