Monthly Archives: December 2016

My older son loves school, but his younger brother absolutely hates it. One weekend he cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday. Sunday morning on the way home from church, the crying and whining built to a crescendo. At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, “Honey, it’s a ... Read More »

“I’ve never flown before,” said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you?” “All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!” Read More »

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?” “Eight,” the boy replied. The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?” The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. ... Read More »

After leaving their wedding reception, a young honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their hotel. The driver wasn’t sure how to get there and said he’d ask for directions when they got nearer to their destination. Meanwhile the lovers started getting really passionate in the back seat. Seeing a fork in the road, the driver said, “I ... Read More »

Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The psychiatrist informs them that they will have to pass a simple test. He asks the first patient, “How much is two plus two?” “Blue.” At which point the doctor calls in the orderly to escort the patient back to his room. Turning to the second patient, he asks, “What ... Read More »

A lady is at a job interview for a receptionist position. “I see you used to be employed by a psychologist. Why did you leave?” “Well, I just couldn’t win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I was anxious. And if I was on time, I was obsessional.” Read More »

At a meeting, the corporate manager told a joke. Everyone on the team laughed except one guy. The manager asked him, “Didn’t you understand my joke?” The guy replied, “Oh I understood it, but I resigned yesterday.” Read More »