Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

12.06.2011

Et moderne eventyr diktet av meg selv og Kristof Vanzier, Arcata High School 1998Once there was a queen and kingwho didn't miss one single thing,except they didn't have a child.That made the old king's mind go wild.They visited every doctor they knewand finally they found one who knew what to do.He tricked and he mixed and he gave them a girl;a princess as beautiful as a pearl.They named their daughter Sleeping Beauty,but the king used to call her his little cutie.Both the king and the queen were so delightedbecause their hearts were no longer frightened.They decided they had to celebrateand tell all about the country's fate.They threw a big old party bashwhere everyone who wanted could come and crash.Twelve fairy godmothers were invited to give their wishesand they all got to eat of the set of twelve gold dishes.But what the majesty didn't botherwas to invite the thirteenth fairy mother.She got really upset when she heard the news,so she took her wand and put on her shoes.She ran to the party and screamed in loud voice:"Now listen to me, guys, you don't have a choice!I'm going to cast upon her a spell,because I'm angry and upset as hell.On her sixteenth birthday the princess will dieas she sticks her finger on a needle eye!"Of course the poor queen started to cry,"I don't want my little baby to die!"Then stepped the twelvth fairy out of the crowdand said in a voice not quite as loud:"I still haven't given my wish to the baby,so I can loosen the spell. Maybe..."She used all the magic power she hadand when she was done, people weren't that sad.'Cause instead of dying with horror and fears,the princess would sleep for a hundred years.So would the king and the queen and the staff,and even the horses, the cats and the calf.Sixteen years later they all fell asleepand around the castle grew briars so thick and deep.A hundred years passed and they were still snoring.The country's people thought it was getting kind of boring.They said, "We have to wake them up,but that takes a prince who is of the top.We'll put an add in the paper this weekso we can get the prince we seek."Soon they had 33 applicationsand also a couple of nominations.They went through them all 'til they found the onewho would be the best: king Vladmir's son.He went to the castle to end the sleepand cut his way through briars, which still were deep.First he saw the king and meant disaster...You see, that sight made the prince's heart beat faster.'Cause what the application forgot to say,was the shocking fact that the prince was gay.So instead of the princess he kissed the king,who woke up and said: "This is not the right thing!You've got to kiss princess Sleeping Beauty,simply because it is your duty."He finally did and the sleeping ended,but not the way that people had pretended.The prince couldn't marry her since he wasn't straight.I don't think a single soul thought that was great.And the princess died of a broken heart,cause as you've heard, their relationship didn't get a good start.Like this ends the story of Sleeping Beautyand the prince who didn't fulfill his duty.

09.06.2011

08.06.2011

Let's get up early now, dive clear into the day.Let's get out of the car with open arms,not wait to be embraced.The flowers that grew, the things that happenedsince the day you came.Nobody knows, darling. Nobody knows how they are loved.Don't worry, my darling, the sun's coming up.