Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Hello friends and dear readers. Today is an exciting day for me...I'm moving! Well, not in real life, but in blog life. It's been in the works for a while. While I was busy conceiving my new business, Nourish, I kept having all these ideas for blog posts and well...why don't you just read all about it at my new home...Nourish Your Life.

I really loved writing at Paper Hearts & Cranes. I started writing this blog in 2009 and I've shared a lot of my most intimate stories, moments, triumphs, and challenges here. And some of you have been with me the whole time. I appreciate that, and you. So I hope you'll come visit me at my new home. It's really pretty! And I have some fun projects in the works that I would love for you to check out. See you on the other side friends...xo

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

So far, this month has been exhausting, both good and bad. P had a week long stomach virus. Rough. Then we needed a week to get back to regular eating and sleeping routine. Rough. After that we had about a week of freezing snow and rain. Gross.

But not all bad, after all the sickies and exhaustion, the sun came out! And we have been exploring and getting ready for warm weather. I have a lot of projects going on right now, more on them later. Just wanted to pop over and say hi. I'm here. Sitting behind the screen, just busy with a million things. I'll be back soon. xo

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

It's strange to think that there will be a time when it won't be completely normal for Phoenix and I to be touching all day and night. Between morning snuggles, nursing, reading books in my lap, holding him on my hip as he watches me cook dinner, holding hands as we take a walk, baby massage after bath time, rocking him to sleep, and all the hugs and kisses all day long there is very little space between us. There were so many times during these past 16 months that being that close all the time felt suffocating. Obviously I loved all the closeness but between non stop nursing, co sleeping, and Phoenix's very strong attachment to me, I felt like I never had my body to myself. I went from carrying him around on the inside to carrying him and supporting him on the outside. And it was absolutely my choice. I'm not complaining about it. I feel so grateful that I've been able to (and still do) nurse him and have all this time together. I know there are other mothers who would do anything to be together.

16 months has proven to be the best. He is so adventurous, so curious, and SO loving. The hugs out of no where, the slobbery kisses as he's falling asleep at night...they slay me. Lately, bedtime has been my favorite. Which is a faaaaaar cry from the struggle it was the last few months. These days, after bath, lotions, and some quiet play time. P let's me know he's ready for bed by taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom (always around 7), we sing the goodnight song to papa, mama, and Phoenix. He puts his little arms out for each of us to squeeze him and with a big grin, leans in for a giant kiss. He loves this routine. After that, papa leaves, we put on his sleep sheep, turn out the lights, and have our time. We lay in bed and he nurses as I rub his little head and sing our song. After he's done, he rolls off my lap and snuggles into me. He takes my hand and puts it on his belly because he likes when I rub his little chest/belly area. And so I do. I quietly tell him about our day...from morning until bed time. What we did, and the adventures we went on...the friends we saw and all the sirens we heard. Sometimes he chimes in, sometimes he just listens. And every night he rolls over to face me, half asleep, and gives me a series of kisses with a sleepy grin. Heart explodes. This is what I'm talking about. How is it possible that one day this won't be happening nightly? I don't like to think about it.

Feeling his tiny ribs as his chest rises and falls...hearing his small, slow breath as he drifts off to sleep...and feeling him cuddle into me as I join him in bed...these are snippets of this precious time that I hope to never forget. I know that one day I will be longing for his little hand to hold mine and for that slobbery mouth to kiss mine. His touch will be reserved for greetings, birthday wishes, and thank yous. I know this all isn't happening tomorrow but I feel like I can see the cold reality that lies ahead and I don't like it one bit.

For now, I will cherish each little request to be held. Where as once I would do anything to have some alone time...I now realize that our days like this are numbered. I was feeling suffocated by the endless physical need from my child...now I want to give him more. I want to hold on to his hand a little bit longer before he runs off to explore, kiss his face a little bit more while he still lets me, and blow raspberries on his tummy while it's still funny. Let's not even begin talking about nibbling on those chunky thighs. I could write whole novels about my love of those thighs.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

(This photo has nothing to do with this post. I just love it. P was about 6 months old. We were in Amsterdam. I was really happy here. Look at that face...)

While others are posting about the cute crafts they made with their kids today and my pinterest is exploding with projects that I would never have enough time to attempt, I decided to dedicate this post to writing about someone I love - me. Yes. I love myself. You should too. (Yourself, not me. Although, feel free to love me too.)

My relationship with myself was not always one of deep love and appreciation. I experienced all the same mild self hatred that most women experience in their late teens/early twenties. I starved myself of decent food, sleep, and meaningful relationships. My life and body were filled with toxic people and foods. Not to mention I never gave myself a break. Whenever something didn't work out in my life, I always found a reason to blame myself. Boys, diets, college, first jobs, friends, apartments...it was all my fault. My story is not unusual. And it's not as bleak as it sounds. I would not say that I was much different (in this sense) from any other young woman trying to find her way in this city. Those years were probably the funnest, wildest, and most carefree I have ever experienced. I don't say this in a woe-is-me kind of way. I am grateful for all the experiences, good and bad, that got me to the point I am at now, which is a good one. But it took lots of self discovery and knocking myself down over and over to learn how to treat myself best. And now, years later, it is constantly something I am working on.

Becoming pregnant, experiencing a miscarriage, carrying a baby, experiencing natural childbirth, becoming a mother...there is not many ways to prepare for these experiences. And all of them broke me down to my core. There was no time to blame myself, no energy to analyze what I had done wrong this time, when there is a little life to care for. I had to eliminate all the toxicity in my life. All the crippling feelings I had about myself. And then find that love within myself. Most of this happened after my miscarriage and in the first few months of being pregnant with Phoenix. I cried every day. I had so much fear. So much anxiety about what I had done wrong the first time. But I realized that it wasn't healthy for me or the baby to hold all the fear and all those emotions inside myself. So I let them go and began trusting. The universe, the process, God...whatever you want to call it. I just convinced myself that this was the journey I was on, all these moments were small pieces of my story, and if I fixated on the negative parts there wouldn't be much room for anything else.

So I carried that baby with all the love I had. I birthed him with every bit of self hatred I had leaving my body. How could I feel disappointed in myself after everything my body - and I - was capable of doing? But then came breastfeeding and all the difficulties, crying, pain, infections, frustration, and new reasons to blame myself. Again I found myself feeling not worthy of this perfect little being. I remember moments of feeling so unfit to being his mother. I felt so far away from this image I had of the mother I wanted to be. But after several months, and after our breastfeeding troubles were behind us, I was able to let go of that disappointment. I was free to be proud of myself.

Once Phoenix was around 12 months old, it felt like our life was changing daily. His needs changed, schedule changed, and expectations changed. This threw us for another loop. Suddenly I had even more obligations. Now, I'm a dreamer. I have so many ideas I would love to further explore, so many projects always on the horizon. As you can imagine, it's often frustrating not knowing how or when to make these dreams a reality. They feel so close yet so unattainable. Again came the self resentment. I was frustrated with myself for not being able to wrap my head around my own life. Not to have 40 hours in a day. There came a moment that I felt like I had hit rock bottom. Every day was a struggle. I didn't understand how so many moms had it all together. How were they running successful businesses, mothering with ease, showcasing their latest pinterest triumph (maybe I have some kind of pinterest anxiety?), and blogging all about it? And how did they not look constantly tired, like I did? I felt like I couldn't handle anything. The walls were closing in on me. Simple tasks became a cycle of frustration, anger, and crying. Every night I felt like a failure. As days went by I realized I was becoming paralyzed by my own self doubt. As much support as I had from my husband, family, and friends, I had to really look to myself. (Side note: This was also a reason I began featuring mom's group. I was reaching out for more support!)

And so I did just that. I gave myself a break. Although I do feel like I truly "have it all" in my life, it's so relevant to me. Being a mother has definitely shown me that my strengths are greater than I imagined and magnified my weaknesses even more. Which helps me when my craft anxiety sets in. I have been knitting one scarf since I've been pregnant. It might take me a while to finish it and I'm okay with that.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

In this new installment of mom's group, I'm excited to feature Emily of A Denver Home Companion. She and her husband grow their own vegetables, raise a few cute farm animals, and above all - an adorable little lady named Ramona. Her husband also owns and works at some stellar looking restos in Denver. If you are in the area, check them out! And please stop by Emily's blog and say hello. She is lovely and I really appreciate her honest writing. Also, Emily taught me how to clean my house more efficiently! Boom. For that, I am truly grateful. Thanks again friend! Happy to have you here.-your name, children's names, and ages

emily power, 27

ramona marilyn, 17 months

1. How has being a mother inspired you?

i get a lot more done as a mother. sometimes, i wonder how i do it all. most often i think: what the hell did i DO before i had a baby? i don't say that to mean that i'm a super-mama but rather that i am much more efficient with my time now that i have a little one with which i share my time. before baby, there was lots of free time for hanging around and putting stuff off. now, i have to rely on the quiet moments in between hanging out with the little bean. ramona has inspired me to get a lot more done in my free time (aka nap time) bc if she's awake, we're together and then i don't get much emily-time. so my online business has thrived more (ollie's vintage, an etsy shop for baby clothes), my house is cleaner, and my blogging has been more consistent. i do most of this during nap time or bedtime and these are things i wasn't good about making time for before she came along. i don't suppose this is normal bc i know a lot of mamas talk about struggling w getting things done that don't necessarily include "mothering," but for me, i have only one small child (i've heard it's exponentially harder with more than one!) and it worked this way! to that end, i also have a husband that loves to cook (so i don't have to as much) and a VERY small house (so cleaning isn't a huge task).

additionally, and i think this is huge for me since i haven't met many mamas like this, i didn't have a career before i had a baby. i graduated college with two degrees and have done NOTHING with them. i'm also relatively young. most mamas i've met in play dates, etc. had something going on for them that they had to juggle once they had a baby. they had careers, or commitments, or deadlines, or some sort of livelihoods that they had worked hard for and/or had to get back to. i certainly applaud and, a lot of times, envy that. before i could ever get to that point, circumstances led my husband and i on a journey of lucky happenstance: we met, married, moved from the midwest to avoid winter, took the first jobs offered in denver to pay the bills, and next thing you know, we're pregnant and have a baby and are working to make ends meet. (now, things are a little different). ALL THAT TO SAY, having ramona inspired me to FIND WHAT I LOVED outside of the home. truthfully, i got bored being at home all the time, especially once ramona wasn't nursing as much and wasn't as dependent on me. but i didn't have anything to fall back on bc i was relatively young to have a baby compared to all of my peers and i didn't have a job or goal that would push back the timeline of having a baby or encourage me returning to a career. she inspired me to find a little niche in my world outside of her that could contribute to our family's wellbeing, happiness, quality of life, AND to use my skills outside of the home, while also allowing me to continue being very involved in her upbringing. i found that by supporting my husband in opening two restaurants and then finding a role within these businesses that made sense for myself and our family (i do administrative, hiring, media relations, and accounting for our two businesses and absolutely love it. i get quiet time each morning away from home to work on these things and then get to be back to "be mama" before noon).

2. What is the greatest challenge of having a child?

the greatest challenge of having a child, especially of having a 17 month old, is to try to be on my best behavior. ramona is at a point where she is repeating EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. OR. SOUND. I. SAY. this means arguments--even those silly innocuous ones you have with our lover, probably daily-- need to be tempered or censored or buffered if the wee one is around. she hears our tones and our thrills and our shrills and our responses and our reactions. even when i hurt myself accidentally by stubbing my toe: not only do i need to watch myself saying "DAMNIT!" but also how i react. bc i love to overreact. and i don't want her to see that all the time bc sometimes how i act is SO unnecessary. and it's a good lesson for me to be aware of how strongly i am reacting to silly things. but it's hard too, and i'd love to sometimes not have a little, impressionable child taking in every thing i do and say and respond to and react to, but i don't have a choice. she's there. always. even when she's older than 18. and i'd like to think i'm a perfect role model or at least the best role model for her. but it's a big challenge knowing that most likely i will make decisions or mistakes that may negatively affect her.

3. Is motherhood how you imagined it would be when you were pregnant?

this is going to sound incredibly sappy and some mamas may want to slap me. but ramona is as awesome, and probably more, than i ever imagined a daughter of mine could be. i had no illusions how hard parenthood could and would be (now if only they'd mention the same things about marriage) so i think (though hindsight is 20/20) that nothing so hard lasted too long. sure, she requires round the clock love and attention and didn't sleep through the night until she was a year. and i'm still nursing her and she still requires constant supervision when she's awake and i can't go out whenever i want to bc, hell, who'll watch the baby?! but, honestly? this girl is so great (except for months 10 thru 11 where she was constantly teething and wanted nothing to do with me). she's got sass, and independence, and intelligence. and she's healthy, and gives kisses, and says "mama" and "papa" and hugs me back. she thinks belly buttons are hilarious and likes sticking her finger in my nose. if i dare say the word "shower," she's tromping off to the bathroom trying to take off her clothes and jump in there with me. motherhood is WAY more than i imagined it would be. it's better. it's having this little product of myself and my best friend and who seems, so far at least, to have the best qualities of the both of us. and who walks and talks and giggles and plays and is another member of the powerdriver family. she's a ham. motherhood, for the record, really is better for me than i ever thought it would be.

4. How has your marriage been affected since becoming a parent?

our marriage is more serious now. serious in the way like: if anything were to change drastically, shit, we've got a little one to think about. in some ways, it has brought my husband, JP, and I so much closer together. in other ways, it's put a wedge between us. sex is not the same. we have not quite bounced back yet. i'll leave it at that in case more sensitive eyes are reading. but also, emotionally, i'm not able to put as much attention and care to my husband as i'd like bc there's another one vying for that attention. some mamas seem to know how to balance it. i haven't figured that out yet. but i am blessed and oh-so grateful for a hubby that's understanding and open to conversation about these sorts of things. we fight. every single day. and sometimes the arguments are fruitful and sometimes they are silly and petty and asinine. but we work to figure it out and do our damnedest to give each other the space and time to understand where the other person is coming from. and always to respect each other, our home, and the family we've created. i really couldn't ask for a better partner, which is why, even when things are SO different than before ramona joined our family, i've got a lot of faith in Us.

5. How tidy is your home? (Come on! We all want to know!)

i do not identify with sayings that resemble the following: “Good mothers have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.” it seems to put down the mother who insists on a clean and tidy home; the mother who cleans up after a day of a house filled with kids.

i believe that matter of a person that prefers things picked-up and tidy is more of a personality thing vs a "better mother" thing. and i'm really sorry to the mothers out there that feel some sort of pressure to keep a spotless house bc they think they will be judged if otherwise. i say, do what feels natural to you! if you're ok w cheerios from breakfast on the ground or toys spilling out this way and that after a productive day of playing. go on with your bad self!

i, however, am of the mama camp that will sweep up the cheerios (or encourage the dog to eat them) and will put the toys away once the kids go down for a nap (bc i cannot sit on the couch or dining roolm table eyeing that mess out of the corner of my eye).

as i mentioned before, our home is small (572 sq feet!) so it's really not that hard to keep it tidy. don't get me wrong: there's a shit ton of dust under the sofa. moving the couch is a painintheassthingtodo and i reserve for days when it gets so bad i have to stop being in denial. and there's always a pile of paperwork and magazines on our credenza. and dirty dishes are constantly in the sink (woes of not having a dishwasher). but honestly (and please don't hate me, mamas), i'm able to make the bed in the morning (or my hubby does. whoever is last out of bed is our family rule), the floors are regularly swept (what else do you do to entertain the kiddos?!), and toys are put away after they're played with (no, i have not trained my toddler to do it and no i don't have a robot that follows her around. it's me on my hands and knees). like i said, we live in a small space and if it wasn't relatively well-kempt, i'd go crazy. i keep it, if not tidy, organized, and that's good enough for me.

*BONUS* One line of your best advice for anyone expecting/new parents:

two, pretty please!

1. do not read the books. read the baby. (i read ina may gaskin's guide to childbirth for ramona's birth and the art of breastfeeding to learn how to get those milk machines working. other than that, i've sworn away childrearing books and have relied on my instinct, my husband and his intimate knowledge of our daughter, other mothers i respect and trust, and time to make it all better).

2. if something is working, do it. until it doesn't. and then find something that does. (for instance, we shared a bed with ramona until she was 11 months old and it was amazing. and then it wasn't. so we put her in a crib. and it went back to being amazing.)

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Where has the time gone, huh? I know, I know...excuses. I find that a lot of my days are filled with excuses lately. "I'm tired. My kid didn't sleep all night. We all have colds. It's too windy out." I never imagined that becoming a parent would make me so wishy washy about things. I find it so difficult to commit to any plans. It's so hard to know what our (er...Phoenix's) moods will be like on any given day. As much as I like to plan things out for us, not knowing what surprises the day may bring makes the odds of us doing something at a certain time or at all, 50/50.

I didn't realize how much and how often napping schedules change. The day that you finally think, "Yes! We have a consistent schedule!" is the day baby decides to pull a fast one on you. Not so fast mom! Sigh...

P has been pushing his nap really lately, which is throwing me off. Despite that we manage to make it out of the house mostly every day, at least.

That brings me to my little blog. My little space to share and write. Here I am, making another excuse. As grand as my ideas are, sometimes I am just tired. I know you know.

I have stories to tell, photos to share, and friendships to grow. I am so thankful for those of you who have become friends and for the real life friends and family who continue to come by this little blog. Sometimes I let too much time go by in between posts that it feels awkward to begin again. Do I pick up where I left off? Do I fill in the gaps? I don't know. So I'll just write. And stop making excuses.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

It's obvious. Parenting is challenging. And those challenges evolve and change. Sometimes daily, but usually hourly. It's the obvious things, like teething and lack of sleep, that you can kind of prepare for. But then there are the other challenges. The ones that are individual to your child. These are the ones that both of you learn the most from. Like their personal fears or dislikes. Phoenix, Scott, and I have learned to navigate these things together. How he likes to be soothed when he's upset, that he gets sad if he sees us arguing, and the fact that will most likely not eat oatmeal unless I make it into a pancake for him. These are things we have learned so far.Then there are the actions you choose as a family and the beliefs you have. I am not being vague. There are just so many decisions we, as parents, have to make for our children on a moment by moment basis. When I was pregnant, I spend hours pouring over information on pregnancy, birth, and labor. Maybe a bit about newborns. I knew what to eat and what vitamins to take. I knew I wanted to give birth at home. We decided not to vaccinate Phoenix. And I had my heart set on breastfeeding. That was pretty much it.Obviously we knew we would love and care for him above all else. But I think most first time parents don't realize the amount of decisions you have to make every day in order to raise your precious babe. And they come so quickly. One day you're relishing in the tiny baby on your chest, and in the blink of an eye you have to decide whether or not to begin solids. Is this sippy cup going to stunt their verbal development? Is this toy educational enough without limiting his own creativity? Are the colors of this board book vibrant enough for his sensory development? Am I going to lose my mind with all these questions? Yes. The answer is yes.Of course I appreciate statistics, reviews, and studies but above all, I believe in myself and my kid. (And Scott, of course!) There is only so much you can agonize over something before you just decide to do it (or not). And while I did all that research while pregnant, I found that I make my decisions I bit more on the fly these days. Not that I'm indifferent, I just don't have the time to stress out over every little thing. And for the most part, it works for us. And when it doesn't, we trust that there is a lesson in our mistake. That there is more than just finding the perfect high chair or choosing a preschool for P. I realize he is not even two yet but NYC is insane and you have to put your kid on a waiting list YESTERDAY if you want to even have a chance to apply. Not kidding. But that is another blog post. For now, we will enjoy learning, growing, and trusting that everything is as it should be.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I had big plans last week. I had errands to run, banana bread to bake, friends to meet up with. You know, a life to live. And then I got sick. Ughhhh. I felt it coming on Monday evening. The scratchy throat...gross. So I got up and immediately started on my usual arsenal of natural remedies to try and attack this cold before it had too much time to develop. Tuesday I woke up with a definite cold. And while Wednesday it seemed to peak, by Thursday I was feeling much better and by Friday I was at about 90%. I would say that is pretty good (3 days!) considering I also had to chase a toddler around and generally continue mom life. No pity from the 15 month old this time around. But I digress. Here are my recommendations for kicking a cold without any over the counter meds. All of these are also safe for baby and for breastfeeding.
Oregano Oil - We really use this for everything. It is such an amazing anti microbial, anti bacterial, and anti fungal supplement that it can be used to treat so many ailments. I have used a few different ones but I find that this one is good quality and well priced. For adults, you can take it orally. I generally take 2-4 drops under my tongue (depending on how sick I am) a few times a day. For Phoenix, I rub it into the bottom of his feet before bed and put some cozy socks on over. It works brilliantly.Oil of Oregano

Apple cider vinger - Bragg's is the brand I have been using forever. The reason it's important to use the raw and unfiltered variety of ACV is because it has natural probiotics. Those probiotics are killed off during pasteurization. ACV is alkalizing for your body. The more alkaline you are, the stronger your immunity and healthier you are. Conversly, the more acidic your body is, the weaker your immunity. I put a shot in a glass of water and take every morning when feeling unwell.Bragg's

Kombucha or other probiotics - Just like with the ACV, kombucha has lots of beneficial probiotics. Probiotics are essential in building and maintaining a healthy gut. Having a healthy gut is important because it's where we absorb all our vitamins and nutrients (among other things) and hence, we need to keep it strong to get better. If you're not accustomed to the fermented flavor of kombucha (I love it) than you can take a good quality probiotic supplement. Phoenix takes the kids one you see in the photo above. I just mix it in his hemp milk every morning.This kit from my favorite kombucha brand looks awesome!Chest rub or eucalyptus oil - I usually burn eucalyptus oil at home when one of us is under the weather. It decongests the chest and cleans the air. I also rub it all over P's little chest before bed as well as my own. He nuzzles his little face into me at night so that way he breathes it off my skin too.Chest Rub

Eliminate dairy - Not forever, but dairy (mostly cow) is mucous forming. If you are stuffed up, you may want to hold off for a few days and let your body clear out the mucous. Dairy also causes a lot of inflammation for most people so even if you are not stuffy, you want to make it as easy as possible for your body to fight the cold (which is why you're meant to rest) and cutting out difficult to digest foods does just that. Citrus! - I like to include a lot of citrus this time of year for all the extra vitamin C. When I am feeling run dow I do include about 2000 mg of a vitamin c supplement but some delicious oranges and clementines never hurt anyone. Also, along with what I said about mucous, citrus breaks down mucous so even if you are taking a supplement, consider some fresh citrus for this reason.

Super garlic, tahini, ginger dressing - I made this the day after I started feeling sick (Tuesday) and ate it for almost every meal all week. I also gave some to P and forced Scott to eat it as well. He didn't mind. It's delicious. I do a variation of this dressing all the time. You basically start with as much garlic as you can handle. In this case I took about 3 whole raw cloves. You can put it in the food processor with some raw ginger root (again, as much as you can take. I used about an inch.) and one or two spoonfuls of raw tahini. Raw is important again as sesame has a lot of great nutritional benefits. Among them, tahini has a lot of magnesium which is essential in maintaining respiratory health. Zinc is also in tahini, which has been proven to shorten the length of colds. At this point, you pour in some good extra virgin olive oil and then thin out the paste to your liking. When thinner, it's a great salad dressing. A thicker paste works great on crackers and sandwiches. You can also stir it into soups, beans, hummus, or add to marinades. You basically want to get as much of this in your body as possible. Garlic kills everything. Ginger works wonders for colds and sore throats.
Elderberry or Sambucus - The tea I drank (pictured above) has elderflower in it but Sambucus has elderberry in it as well. If you're not familiar with Sambucus, it has black elderberry, which has been used for centuries in Europe as a cold remedy. I noticed that it works right away at lessening our symptoms. Obviously we have the kids version. Scott and I take double doses twice a day. Sambucus for Kids/Cold Care Tea

Ginger, lemon, honey tea - I do sip on that cold care tea all day as well as give it to P in a sippy. Either in tea or on it's own, ginger, lemon, and honey tea is great for soothing sore throats and clearing up congestion.
Bikram yoga or just sweat! - On Thursday I was starting to feel better but I just needed to knock the last bits of the cold out of me. I bundled my sick self up and went to a Bikram class. It was just what I needed! If you've never done Bikram style yoga before, it's not as fast paced as the more popular Vinyasa or power yoga. And although it definitely get's your heart rate up and your blood flowing. that pace is slow enough that it's managable when sick. At least for me. Also, the room is about 1000 degrees so it helps you sweat out toxins. In fact, that's the whole point of the practice. I digress. That's another post. The point is, just sweating all the sick out made me feel amazing. By the next day I was feeling a million times better. These are most of the item that are our first line of defense. While I do think there is a definitely a time and place for drugs, we practice a lot of holistic medicine in our home as well as treat with herbs. I hope you don't get sick this season, but if you do, you may find that these may help you. Along with as much rest as you can get. (Not much for me!)

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

One of my most favorite blog ladies and mama's, Bekah, is featured today on mom's group. I couldn't be happier. I adore Bekah's blog, My Little Loves, and she is a daily source of inspiration from her honest and vulnerable posts, to her boho fashion posts. She reminds me to live simply, be present, and that less really is more. She has a beautiful family, complete with two adorable daughter and lights up her little corner of the internet with light and love.

Your name, children's names, and ages: Bekah, Ocean (3) and Luna (1)

1. How has being a mother inspired you? Oh man, being a mother has changed me in every way. I am inspired everyday to be kinder and more patient than I was the day before.

2. What is the greatest challenge of having a child? The above? Having to model what I am teaching. You can't teach someone patience if you aren't being patient. I struggle so much with that.

3. Is motherhood how you imagined it would be when you were pregnant? In some ways, yes and others no. Mostly, with Ocean. Her being my first and all. Ocean was a much, much more difficult baby than Luna, but being my first I always wondered if it were me. Was I doing something terribly wrong? Ocean never wanted to be cuddled, she was never really a baby. She wanted independence from a young age and that was very difficult for me to grapple with as a first time mom.

4. How has your marriage been affected since becoming a parent? Since we have been parents almost from the moment we moved in together it can be hard to separate the experiences. Our marriage has survived a lot, kids do put more stress there but at the end of the day we are each others retreat. The one thing I miss is spontaneous trips together. I miss sleeping in and long nights spent together. Our life still has a lot of spontaneity and fun, but it is definitely something I miss on a daily basis.

5. How tidy is your home? (Come on! We all want to know!) In the middle. I try to keep it as minimalist as possible. I get rid of stuff constantly and we rarely go shopping. When we do I am very selective about what we will and won't buy. If you don't have much its hard for a house to get too overwhelmingly messy. I also try and keep chores done (tidying immediately after meals, laundry put away immediately, etc) and it helps a bunch. My girls room stays messy and so does my living room, it seems at least.

*BONUS* One line of your best advice for anyone expecting/new parents: Comparison is the thief of joy. Just enjoy every moment and don't compare it to what you expected or what it seems like others experiences are.

Monday, January 14, 2013

I wrote several posts in the last few weeks. Long ones. About our holidays. A reflection on 2012. Blah, blah, blah. I didn't post any of them. Why? They felt forced. There have been a lot of other things going on behind the scenes and writing felt like a nuisance instead of therapeutic. Not good, not bad, just a lot of things that need to get checked off my list. Also: molars. Ugh. Can I get a hug from all of you who have children with teeth? Also, can we all have a shot together? One for every night I've been up multiple times in the last month. Ha!So, that's where we are at. Trying to make good on the intentions I set for this fresh new year. Shooting for the starts. All of it. Scott is eating vegan for the month. Cleansing after the ridiculous amount of delicious, decadent meals and alcohol we consumed over the past few weeks. I am not eating vegan but I am basically eating the same meals that I am making him with some eggs added in or some cheese crumbled on top. I also made chicken soup for Phoenix and I the other day. Why am I not eating vegan with him? Honestly, it's a little more difficult for me over the winter. According to Ayurveda, the colder months should consist of warming grounding foods like roasted root vegetables as well as heartier meat dishes. Warming foods. Not that vegan foods can't be warming or grounding. They absolutely can. I just find that when I am feeling low on energy and cold, I feel better eating soups made with animal protein and eggs. Anyway, that's what we are eating. In the warmer months, I could survive on raw fruit and salads day after day. Speaking of eating, as little P is in the midst of teething (poor guy) he has little interest in eating. He is a really good eater and enjoys a variety of foods so it is frustrating to make him meals and see him push them aside and whine. So I made him muffins. Baby muffins. I will post the recipe this week. They are full of fruits, veggies, and protein and have no sugar. They are soft and baby sized. He loves them and they don't mess with his tender mouth. Sounds good, huh? I am currently on my 6th mini muffin with sunflower butter. If I don't eat them all tonight, I will take a photo in the morning and post the recipe.This is all very nonsensical, I know. Stay with me. I am getting back to regular writing. I just had to get back on the saddle, as they say. I will be posting more Mom's Club. I have had some amazing submissions, if you want to participate, email me. Also, I cut my hair. Done. Finally. And life is better. So much better. Ummm I guess I will try to take a photo this week. That is all for now. Must go take photos of hair and muffins. xo

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Most of you read Jodi's blog right? If not, you should. She is such a talented mama and has a beautiful family whom she photographs and shares on her space each week. I was so inspired by her beautiful photos all year long that I decided to join her this year in posting a portrait of Phoenix every week. My intention is to be held accountable of taking a great photo each week and to hopefully improve my photography. Here is the first one and the second one too, since I'm late. Womp womp.