Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Today I have permission to.......

Inspired by a thread on Aeclectic Tarot I decided to draw one card and take from it everything I can see, and use it as a permission slip or gift voucher to do something nice for me..

Using the Wildwood Tarot I shuffled and cut the deck and drew a card from the top....... drumroll........

The card I drew was The Journey..... had to smile :) The Journey card in The Wildwood Tarot is number 13 which of course is usually the Death card, but we all know that Death isn't death, just change, and the Journey is quite a neat name for it I think.

The card shows a raven or crow eating the last of the flesh from as reindeer skull, high up in the mountains I think. There are five more corvids flying in silhouette against a huge full moon. There are a couple of huge old tree's in the background. They have no leaves, so either they are dead or it is winter. I think winter.

This is one of my favourite cards in the deck...the more I see of Will Worthington's art, the more I love it, but it this deck especially.

The Wildwood Tarot

The Raven is a very magical creature, and he warns of betrayal and danger. He is a guardian of those at rest, and ravens are still said to this day to guard the head of Bran in the Tower of London. Raven is excellent at crossing between the worlds and so is a great messenger. He not only protects the good but will instill fear in the heart of enemies. Here he is stripping the last of the flesh from a long dead reindeer skull, recycling, the alchemy of turning death into sustenance and life. The great deer who was a king in his day is still serving his land and its creatures even in death.

The full moon is another symbol of life's cycles, just as she will wane so will she wax again, the tree's will get new life and the mountain will see many more sunrises. The journey is never ending, the journey of the wheel... life to death and back again. Sometimes it is time for one journey to end and another to begin.

The skull being stripped to the bone is another message, looking deep into yourself and finding what lies there, what is essentially you, or me. A journey within. So many signs of the past and the future.

Somehow, I was guided by this card to finding an old poster that I used to have on my wall in the old farmhouse we lived in a few years ago. It was the best summer I ever had here and definitely the best Christmas. My children were still children, we were a tribe who survived, who stuck together. But now as things change and grow, two of those children are off on their own journey's, no longer at home. It is hard for me to accept the end of that stage of their journey with me, but sometimes, things have to end for life to carry on. I have thought a lot about when they were small, in England, how I loved this time of year. How I have come to dread it. Why?

I feel this card is telling me to reap the good and the joy from the past and bring it to life in the now.... So I have put up my old torn poster in my bathroom, it looks colourful and joyful. I am giving myself permission to accept the cycles of life, to embrace the joy in today and be thankful for my little people. I will read my old blog, and remember, when I look back on that wonderful magical summer, there were very hard sad times then too. But in my memories I only feel the joy of our family life then... this is what carries us forward. One day, these days will be looked back on fondly.. the dark times will be just shadows, necessary to allow the brightness to shine.....I know this..its the cycle of life.... the chiaroscuro of existence.

I just found a blog post from 7 years ago, showing that poster, in my old home. I entitled the post "I trust....." I cannot think of anything more fitting to read now.... and ya know. that thing I wanted so badly back then, and that seemed way beyond my reach, was New Zealand residency, the right to live in a land we had come to love. We now have that, and in 6 weeks it will be permanent, forever! I did that... I achieved that, very much in the face of adversity and against all odds....and oh boy does it make me feel good!

Today I give myself the gift of celebration, and a huge pat on the back!!!