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commission for a friend and a lot of issues...

Hi, recently working on a little commission for a friend. He wishes some artwork to the theme music which shows all the instruments he is playing. So I came up with the idea creating a little scene on stage in front of the crowd. It's still in an early stage and is meant as a scribble for the final work on canvas. I'm not sure about the composition yet. Also the lighting is killing my nerves. It was meant to come from the top right and yep. Oh, and I forget perspective lol. So for any advice I would be very thankful. Peace

Maybe softer edges/a bit of blur on things that might be moving, like the drum sticks. Some soptlight beams might help as well.
ps. landed here after checking one of your master studies, nice (I just started myself).

I'd spend some time watching concerts of similar instrument makeup to get ideas for action, lighting and figure positioning. It's also strange that we're viewing this from behind and that the drums/piano aren't elevated. I second the thumbnail idea.

I'd spend some time watching concerts of similar instrument makeup to get ideas for action, lighting and figure positioning. It's also strange that we're viewing this from behind and that the drums/piano aren't elevated. I second the thumbnail idea.

I do not disagree about the thumbs. But still, drawing a lot of thumbs is not making my compositions work. If you say it's static and empty it would be nice to explain what is static and what is empty and how to solve this. But I agree...the composition is not working. Peace

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To me there is a mismatch in the amount of energy from the different figures. The keyboardist is highly expressive and seems int he middle of playing, the front figure is apparently moving, but the other two feel like the are still and waiting for the piece to start. I would suggest having all figures seem in mid motion. Also the angle seems like it should show the audience or at least a suggestion of one than the few head dots. Having a flat background makes it seem at first glance like there is a middle distance wall in front of them. I would suggest something much darker and more blurred to suggest something active going on out there too.

I do not disagree about the thumbs. But still, drawing a lot of thumbs is not making my compositions work. If you say it's static and empty it would be nice to explain what is static and what is empty and how to solve this. But I agree...the composition is not working. Peace

theres no overlapping, resulting in a very flat image. play around with the shapes you got and rearrange/scale them, use values to create focus (lack thereof).

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yes, I agree with all of your critiques and I'm very thankful for your time . Just to clear things up, I'm not defending this composition and the leg of dynamic and narrative (gestalt theory)etc. I was aiming for a discussion on how to improve and maybe on how to use fundamental design theory on this example for a better understanding. I'm sure most of you guys have a better understanding on how design actually works and have more skillos than I do. I would not show this to you if I would be satisfied with it. I think learning from others and meeting people who actually are willing to share their skills is what CA is meant for but, maybe I'm wrong ?! I will try to work on the points u all mentioned and hoping to get a better result near future. I apologise for my outstanding English and hope I will not be misunderstood lol. Good fight. Good night. Peace

I had some time to work on the composition a bit more but it still feels stiff and lost. I know their are a lot of value, lighting and perspective issues as well but main concern to me is the composition at the moment. For feed and critique I'm very welcome...Peace.

On a technical note, I've taken piano lessons and one of the first things you learn is to sit up straight and curl/arch your fingers. Also, there's no need to look at ones hands if they're an experienced pianist.

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its much better, and i dont necessarily get the feeling the piano player is looking at his hands, rather that he is hunched down... like chilly gonzales plays ^^. i think it gives the image weight and a sense of drama.

i also like the fore-, mid-, background thing you introduced. i would condense it a little more though. like moving the guitarneck towards the center so it overlaps the singer in some way.
also pay attention to tangents like where the piano player just merges into that box he's sitting on.

good progress man.

[edit] and dont apply rim lights to your design edges and value groupings ^^ like on the piano player [/edit]

Last edited by sone_one; 2 Weeks Ago at 03:48 PM.

"Have only 4 values, but all the edges you want."
Glen Orbik

"To any man who has slaved to acquire skill in his art, it is most irritating to have his ability referred to as a 'gift.'"
Andrew Loomis