Hi, just another story

44 yrs old. 2 kids 7 and 2 years old. Still married why I have no idea. Crazy achololic. See a psych and mix my meds with alcohol frequently. Attempted suicide at 15, overdose and spent 2 weeks in a psych ward. Wife called the cops on me twice in the last year for being drunk around the kids qnd they tossed me in the local psych ward cause she said i needed help instead of jail.

Dont want my 2 boys to go on without a father but im tired of this life. She is a nightmare. I hate her. How i once loved her i dont know. If the cops called me and said she died in a head on accident i really wouldnt give a shit. I want out.

Its only when i drink that i get close to the edge like i am now. My oldest son has a friend whose father died of cancer at 39 and i dont want my boys to go through the same but i dont want this life anymore.