Monday, April 30, 2007

Lisa at The Preacher's Wife participated in a "show the contents of your handbag and embarrass yourself" tag. I wasn't tagged, but she said the non-tagged among us could play along anyway, and being the follower that I am I thought, "I want to play too!" "Why not??"

So here is my cute and simple brown purse. Before it, I had a cute and simple brown purse. Before that one, I think I had a.... cute and simple black purse. HAH! Had you fooled, didn't I?

It's a $12 purse from a well known discount shoe store. I had been wanting to replace Cute Simple Brown Purse #1 for a while and had been "shopping" around for one, but the tightwad wannabe in me refused to spend money on a new one when my old one was perfectly fine and I paid a good $15 for it. But my day soon came. I got Cute Simple Brown Purse #2 during a "Buy One Get One Free" sale. The man got some much needed new shoes for work, and I got a cute simple little purse for *drum roll* zero bucks! Go me! Purses are almost as fun as shoes, and lemme tell you, I almost opted for the 100th pair of simple, cute flip flops instead of the purse, but Discount Shoe Store didn't have any flip flops I liked nearly as much as I liked this purse, so purse it was.

Now that you know my purse's life story (which I'm sure had you sitting on the edge of your seat) on to the contents...

There's a checkbook, a trusty green calculator (a MUST when you need to know the square root of 38,179.24* while you're driving down the road with your cellphone on your ear (unless you're, like, a genius, which I, like, am not), my wallet (driver's license removed to protect your innocence - I just could not bear the thought of polluting your innocent mind with the evils of a horrid driver's license photo. I know, I know... you're welcome.), my cellphone that doesn't normally look that shade, but rather a nice shade of bright pink (which I normally hate, but I figured I'm a girl and a girl just needs a girly cellphone cover, right?), some really disgusting gum from the health food store that is supposed to be good for your teeth, some lip balm, peach scented lotion, lemon scented instant hand sanitizer (because what self respecting phobic wouldn't carry around lemon scented instant hand sanitizer in case of emergency??), a cute little pewter toggle (because what self respecting jewelry designer wouldn't carry around a cute little pewter toggle in case of emergency??) and my keys. Sometimes you'll find my bluetooth headset in there, and you'll always find an emergency stash of unmentionable girly products (so why, then, am I mentioning them?) but those just were not photo worthy.

And here's the obligatory "mess" photo...

... which is comprised of various receipts, dental appointment reminder cards, some kind of something or other card from my auto insurance, and a print out of copper wire gauges (again, the whole self respecting jewelry designer thing).

So there you have it, my purse! Ta da! I'm not sure if a non-tagged player can tag people, so perhaps I won't. Although, I'd love to tag Jessica, since she's a new mom and I'm just dying to know if she has dried spit up in hers; and my dad just to see if I could get a funny right-winged blog rant speaking out against the absurdity that is the "man purse". However, I will be nice and leave the decision up to my readers. How about it. Want to play?

*195.395087! Make sure you write it down on a Post-It and stick it to your windshield. I don't want to be the cause of any accidents because you in all your geniusness decide to try to figure out this complex math problem while driving with a cellphone on your ear without your own trusty little green calculator!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I got some new copper wire tonight, and decided I should teach myself something new. I learned how to twist wire with an electric drill (I knew hubby's power tools would come in handy someday) and how to make a few other little things.

Then I decided to try a real project, and three hours later, I have a new accessory for my wardrobe!

I'm so proud of myself! I've never made something that huge with wire before, and I think the hearts are so cute! :o) The bracelet is totally handmade. Well, ok, I confess I did not make the beads (but don't think I wouldn't if I had a safe place to do it!) I think I might offer it on the website when it's up and running, and possibly in sterling silver with a choice of bead colors as well.

Monday, April 23, 2007

We're really not beach people, but once in a blue moon we'll drive out to the beach and admire the restlessness of the gulf. Today we went to the bay and walked along the beach and onto a pier and the jetties. Then I got nervous on the jetties (and tired of the earache that the cold wind gave me! YES... COLD WIND in April!) because there are no rails so we didn't go too far.

I took a few pictures, though it was foggy and I accidentally left my camera on the wrong setting, so the pictures are horribly noisy and the color is a tad bit off but I thought I'd share anyway. :o)

Then we decided it was a nice evening to go out to eat. After we drove around for half an hour trying to decide where to go, we just went home and ordered Papa John's. We're so romantic!! ;o)

Sunday, April 22, 2007

5 Minutes for Mom is hosting yet another wonderful contest, and this time they're giving away a Philips digital photo frame, worth $249! You don't have to be a blogger (or a mom) to join, so head on over and enter here!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

For those of you that do not yet know, my beloved granny went home to be with our Lord (and her husband who passed 26 yrs ago) on Saturday morning. She was loved by many and especially by me. She was always one of my favorite people in the whole world. I attribute my stubbornness to her. ;o) I'm so thankful to know that she considered my Lord her own and that she's in His presence now, worshiping without her sick, earthly body holding her down anymore.

Today I was looking through and singing some of the songs I have written in the past, and there were a couple I just could not get through. This one in particular I wrote a few years ago when I had an image of a child dancing with her daddy, all clumsy-like, as you would expect a child to be... then the daddy catching her and putting her feet on his as he dances for her. The child, totally captivated by his love for her, looks up into his face admiring who he is. This song was born out of that image, and after getting through my boohoos and probably staining my husband's guitar with my tears, I played through it again this afternoon and smiled. It's not just an image in my granny's mind, it is now her reality.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

(If you don't know me well, please don't take this as anything other than me venting and unsuccessfully trying to be slightly humorous - and maybe a little gross - in the process.)

While we were in Austin visiting my grandmother in the hospital, against our better judgment we decided to visit Ikea and try to buy the lighting I found and fell in love with on their website. I should have known better (considering the run in I had with Ikea over the phone several months back) than to abandon my vow to never give them another minute of my time. However, when we discovered it was just down the road a little ways from our hotel room and my uncle said it was really neat and had a good restaurant inside, I could hear its huge blue walls literally calling out my name. It's sort of like that little swollen taste bud on the tip of your tongue you just can't leave alone. You know it hurts to bite it, yet it begs you to anyway and makes you think that if you do it just ONE more time, it might go away... but nope! Lying, conniving little stinker.

For the love of all that's decent and normal, is there a good reason someone didn't tell me that it's a MAZE? Literally! Who designed that place and what the sam hill were they smoking when they did it? I must say, this is not a good store for a claustrophobic type person to be wandering around in. It took me over half an hour of wandering and fighting off the mobs of poor, lost Ikea nomads to find the lighting section of the labyrinth, and that was even using those ridiculous "you are here" maps. I'm sorry, but any store of that size that needs "you are here" maps really should just implode and save society the misery of its ridiculousness.

So we found this supposedly wonderful restaurant (which is obviously there solely to provide sustenance during the long journey from point A to point B - IF you can find it - else you may just drop dead out of sheer exhaustion. Or confusion. Or annoyance.) and even though my lovely man doesn't like to eat cafeteria style, he found something that sounded good. So off I went to collect a few things while he ordered his food (I rarely eat out, and definitely not in the middle of anxiety attack inducing labyrinth "you are here" signs *shudders*). He got his tray, a fork and knife and started to go down the line when all of a sudden he saw someone handle raw chicken without gloves, then (without washing his hands!!) turn around and start messing with the cooked foods line! Umm, can we say major health code violation?? So the D-man said "thanks, but no thanks!" and called me (love those nifty cellphones in the insane doped up maze stores) to tell me and I found my way back to the cafeteria and led him back with me to the lighting where we had even more fun *rolls eyes* discovering that the chandelier I liked online was ugly in person. We did find a pendant light for over the sink/bar (which I'm now not sure I love after all - I was very confused and disoriented, not unlike a lab rat - but what the heck, it was only $12 and there's always Ebay) and a few almost-flush flat-like lights to replace the ugly fake brass ones in the hall and front doorway (I love fake brass about as much as I love insane maze stores). The track lighting I had my eye on wasn't bright enough for the place we wanted it, and Diddy was more than *slightly* irritated at the whole international shopping experience at this point, so I gave up looking for a replacement. We did manage to find a couple toilet paper holders that are nice, brushed nickel, but came without screws (which I find out three days later as I attempted to mount it on the cabinet). Ok, Ikea, how hard is it to include a couple of screws in your toilet paper holder package, or at the very least have the decency to say "screws not included" on the outside of the box? Even toy makers are nice enough to tell you when you need to buy batteries to operate their junk... what's your problem?

After more time and wandering around the maze (maybe if we ever go again - doubtful - we should borrow some nitrous oxide from my dentist first because you obviously have to be high to enjoy that experience) we found the checkout place and started to check ourselves out. It was then and only then we see that you have to pay 5 cents per plastic bag. Ok, so I'm all for saving the environment, yadda yadda yadda, but again, wish someone would have told me that you have to BUY your bags! I had a whole bunch of the environmentally dangerous scary plastic bags and a roll of paper towels back at the hotel that I brought for the trip in case the Molly dog decided to embark on one of her pukefests in the (pet friendly) room. But nooooo. I was not armed with the buy your own plastic bags knowledge and hence did not have my own non-green bags, so we bought the 60 cent huge blue crunchy "disposable" bag to carry our findings. I figured we could use it for something later on, like wrapping up a whole bunch of dissected bug parts smooshed into my dogs' excrement and sending it to Ikea headquarters along with a note saying, "I'd rather eat this than ever spend another dime in one of your stores again. Oh yeah... and you really should hire some better architects." (No offense to any Ikea architects, employees, crunchy blue bags, or in-tact bugs intended.)

So even though I HATE Ikea (now more than ever, even) they managed to weasel over $40 out of us (and a good talking to for that chicken incident as well). Down with Ikea! I think I should start a boycott. Are you with me?? We can start a picket line and get a petition going and everything. Just give me a minute. I think I need some new dishes...

I'm sure you've heard it. I know I have, more than one too many times! "God never gives us more than we can handle." Am I the only one who doesn't agree with this or that thinks it is firmly founded in anything other than the Word?

I've seen people use 1 Corinthians 10:13 to justify it, but the Greek word used in that passage is most often used in the context of tempting and not trying, and that's what the context of the chapter suggests to me as well. Mostly when I hear people use that cliché, they are referring to difficult times, not really temptations. Trials are not the same as temptations. I suppose that in the midst of a trial, we could be tempted, but I see trials as things God allows us to experience for the purpose of His glory and our growth in Him while temptations are things satan uses to appeal to our carnal nature in hopes that we will sin and move farther away from Him.

So is this cliché Biblical? Is it true? Is anyone else tired of hearing it, reading it, trying to wrap your mind around it? I'll be quite honest here and say that I do not think it is necessarily Biblical, nor do I think it is true in all instances. I used to believe it... you know how you hear something often enough and it starts to ring true, even if it is not? However, these days I'm leaning less and less on that and more and more towards the opinion that God gives us trials we cannot handle. That's right. I just said that. I believe our gracious and loving Father gives us things that are more complex, more difficult, and more painful than our human minds, emotions, and bodies can possibly handle.

Now before you start casting stones or vow to never read my blog again, let me explain. If we could handle everything the Lord handed us, why would we ever need Him? What would keep us from getting puffed up in ourselves and thinking that if we can make it through that, we can make it through anything... when, in reality, it wasn't us, it was God in us that brought us through? Doesn't it make sense that He, in His infinite love and unmatched power, could see past what we can handle into what we need and give us that instead? What is it we need? Sometimes we need to be strengthened... some of the things we go through serve to strengthen US. Our resolve, our faith, our patience and even our bodies. But other things serve to strengthen Him in us and sometimes the only way for that to happen is through our being made weak, broken, and torn. I no longer believe that God wants us to praise Him out of every trial we go through, and see us come out victorious and stronger on the other side. I believe that sometimes He wants a trial to weaken us, to break us so that we will learn to praise Him and give Him glory IN the trial and because of the trial for what He's doing with the trial.

Paul learned to not boast about his accomplishments (and he had many) but rather to boast about his weaknesses because God showed him that it was in his weaknesses that Christ's power rested upon him! (2 Corinthians 12) Sometimes we have to be broken before we will reach out for Him or cease control and allow Him to prove powerful in our lives. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

So does God give us more than we can handle? Yes. At least that has become my belief. But what He also does is promise to be there with us and use everything for His glory and for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. I know I'll be trying to learn to boast in my weaknesses (and I have many!). I want Him to prove strong in me. How about you?

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Or at least one person does. :o) Christine has tagged me for the Thinking Blogger Award! It is an honor just being tagged, yes it is, especially by Christine seeing as her blog is one of the ones that makes ME pull out my thinking cap the most. So thank you Christine for making my little heart feel special. You made my day!

In keeping with the rules, I am to tag five blogs that make me think. This has proven to be a bit of a challenge for me because even though there are several out there that make me think, most of my think-makers have been tagged at least once already (like Christine and Laurel and Darlene and The Preacher's Wife and so many others. I tell you they're all great. Go visit them!)

So here are the blogs I think are deserving of the award (minus the ones already mentioned that hog all the awards already! *wink*). In no particular order:

1. Dana at Rare and Beautiful Treasures - I just found her this week, but I've already been blessed and encouraged by her posts so much already. I look forward to keeping up with her blog.

2. Kristin at This is the Life - She always has interesting book reviews and inspires me to dig into books I never would have read otherwise. Plus, she's such a sweetheart and has a gorgeous baby girl too. ;o)

3. Jessica at Life as I See It - Jessica is one of my favorite people I've never met. :o) Her blog is all about her life with her wonderful husband and brand new beautiful baby boy. She probably doesn't know it, but she inspires me to be a better person and wife and is always there for me when I need to talk or need prayer. She's a great listener and yes, she makes me think!

4. The Cappuccino Life - Another one that probably doesn't even know how much I respect and admire her since I am bad about blog comments sometimes. ;o) But I do. I "know" her from the forums at Crosswalk and her love for her family and the Lord and her journey in her marriage inspires me and she has had some great thought provoking posts.

5. My dad *teehee* at Rantings from the Right - ok, so this blog isn't about religion at all, but my dad makes me think. A lot. And his blog is no exception to that. In fact, it makes me think a little too much about politics, which I generally try to avoid. lol It's humorous (well, probably not if you're on the left!) and even though I don't always agree with him politically or otherwise, I think he and his blog deserve a thinking award!

Tag, you're it! Here are the rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs thatmake you think,

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of thememe,

3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to thepost that you wrote. Here are the two versions of the award:

“At the heart of the story stands the cross of Christ where evil did its worst and met its match.” ~ John Wenham

There are so many good things that have already been said of this quote this week, that I don't feel like I have too much to add. There are two things keep running through my mind. One is that evil is NO match for the glory and power of God. Though I am sure that was not Wenham's intent. :o) Two is I love how he mentions that "evil did its worst". A lot of times we look to our salvation and the events that brought it about as a wonderful thing - and don't get me wrong, it is wonderful indeed! - but we easily forget the agony that went along with it.

Iris mentioned The Passion of the Christ. I vividly remember the day after my lovely husband and I watched that movie, sitting in my chair, getting angry with God for having Jesus - the one and only perfect One EVER - take all of MY "crud" upon His perfect self. Imagine that! Being mad over the very thing that saved my soul. It just seemed so unfair. What He went through was brutal, and He deserved none of it, but I did and didn't get it. What I didn't deserve and yet was given anyway was Him taking it upon Himself. But that's what the grace of God is... what He gives to us even though we are unworthy and undeserving of even the smallest drop of it. It took me a little while to come to terms with that, and I'm glad that I went through those angry moments because I feel as though it has made me appreciate the gift a little more. I've always been one of those people that requires a swift knock to the head to "get it" sometimes when it comes to God's love and grace. Seeing it so vividly and having to come to terms with the horror of it and the fact that it was for me (and you) was a big knock.

I'll end now with a poem I wrote when I was around 14. Yes, it's quite old but the message still rings true and fits with this week's quote and the Passover season, so I thought I would share.

The Blood

As blood flowed down His thorn-crowned headThe people shouted, ''This Christ, He's dead!''No one assumed, they could not understandThat this crimson blood would save the souls of man

They carried Him to the tomb, and there laid Him downThe blood still clinging to His bruised, scarred crownAs they sealed the grave, they could not conceiveThat this blood held power to cleanse all who believe

The third day came, when He rose up againThe scars were still there, but no was blood on Him!He gave up his life; shed His precious blood for allNow our lives we must give Him in answer to His call

The power is so great, our minds cannot understandThe love God expressed for us when He revealed His planThis power is still flowing, coming down like a floodSo will you believe in the Power of the Blood?

Trials. Pain. Healing. Praise. These are all hard for me, especially lately. You know, you can hear the same thing over and over again so many times it starts to sound like a broken record, yet only allow it to sink into the true depths of your soul after you've heard it just one more time. I'm not sure why things take so long to seep in sometimes, but I had one of those moments today.

I've been pouring over the passage in Romans 5 now for some time. You know it, I'm sure. The one that tells me I'm supposed to be rejoicing in my suffering to the end result of hope. Hope has been plaguing me a lot lately too because the higher your hopes, the more it hurts when they come crashing down on you. The passage, however, of course refers to hope in God and His salvation for us - which never fails or disappoints.

One of the things I like to do when I'm studying a small portion of the Word is to read it in many translations and versions. For the first part of verse 3, one in particular caught my eye:

"But that's not all! We gladly suffer..." (Contemporary English Version)

Gladly suffer. That's a far cry from what many people say when they reference trials and tribulations. "Pray and praise your way through it!" with the emphasis on "through it" is common, not "praise because of it". Yet when you examine this passage and the one in James 1 ("Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials..." - NAS) it seems to me like we're supposed to be rejoicing because of it, not just so we can get through it. It's there for a reason with a specific purpose in mind, and we're supposed to be thankful for it because of what God is using it to accomplish in us (hope in Him, perfection/maturity).

Having been plagued with this for a while now seeing that for at least the past year I've felt deeply encompassed by one particular trial, and for even more years by yet another one - and for neither of which have I ever been able to raise my head towards heaven with the purpose of thanking Him; today I found myself in a new place. As I read something that was so much like so many things I have read and heard for so long, something clicked and as naturally as a baby cries when it is hungry, my eyes closed and I thanked God for the trial. I'm not quite sure that I meant it, and it was fleeting, but it was still a milestone to me. All along I've been pleading and begging and asking why - yearning for hope, peace, endurance and a meaning to it all; but I've never been able to thank Him for it and whatever He's trying to do with it. The idea sounds pretty close to absurd to the human mind, so it is a very hard concept to grasp. It's not just the final stage of grief, "acceptance", it goes so far beyond that.

I'm not sure if tonight when I lay down to go to sleep or tomorrow when I get up, I'll be able to thank Him again... but today, right now, I'll be thankful for the small things. This one little "aha" moment that helped me shed just a little bit of these rags of sorrow. A sock, perhaps? Who knows, I may kick this thing yet and be able to honestly say:

Monday, April 02, 2007

Hi, I'm Crystal. The controlling, condescending, argumentative, pessimistic (but a dreaming pessimist, mind you) fearful, impatient, procrastinating, lazy, manipulative wife. Or at least that's who I was when I first married my lovely hubby. What a catch I was, right? Or am I still that woman?

Today's assignment is to write about the person I was over six years ago in comparison to who I am today. I think in many ways I've changed, but in many I've stayed the same. In the first couple years of our marriage, we went through some rough times (not marital issues, just tough personal issues) that served to both strengthen me and tear me down. I quickly learned that being condescending would not serve me or my marriage well, and in fact, it could bring about death. Proverbs 18:21 says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." (NKJV) I don't find it coincidental that the very next verse speaks of the treasure and favor in finding a good wife. I know that the words we, as wives, speak to (and about) our husbands can serve to either destroy or build them up and this can take many shapes - spiritual, emotional, mental, and even physical. I had to learn very early on both how to hold my tongue (when I wanted to destroy) and use my tongue (when I needed to build up) if I wanted a husband. This has translated into how I approach other situations as well. I don't run into debates with blood boiling very often anymore. I figured out it's better to be informative and calm in an approach to a touchy subject than it is to be emotional and go in with guns blazing. That is one very big way I have changed I think.

Another thing I learned pretty quickly is that my husband cannot be manipulated. He's not one of the dumbed-down hubbies you see portrayed in the media these days (I never questioned his intelligence, just in case you were wondering lol) who can be conned into doing whatever the wife desires just by her "making him think it was his idea". Riiiight. Does that really ever work for anyone? He also taught me how important it is to respect both him as a person and his position.

My lovely hubby says that he's found that I have matured in my knowledge and understanding of God. I think I agree with that. I've definitely grown into my "child of God" skin in the past few years. As I wrote a few weeks ago, I've started to learn more OF and IN God instead of just ABOUT God. There really is a difference. To build on that though, I think I've just plain matured, period. I look back at things I did and said and see others do and say today and see how much I've changed. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, just reflecting. It's a bit sobering when you are horrified by something someone says or does and then realize that you yourself did or said that very thing just a few years ago.

Even though I have matured both in God and in life in general, there are still things about me that have not changed. I'm still very much fearful of many things... and some of those things have only gotten worse. I still deal with phobias and anxiety on a daily basis. I still struggle with control issues and with trusting God to manage the fine details of my life (even though He has never let me down even once) and I still make my husband have to work hard at being a good husband sometimes. lol I don't always make his job easy. However, we always work through it all and come out on the other side stronger and better for it. I can only attribute that to his love and patience and His love and patience. It's definitely not me... neither the 6-years-ago me or the today me.

Please visit Fruit in Season to participate in and read more contributions to Marriage Monday!

Strange title, I know, but this weekend has been pretty tough and I can honestly say I'm a little glad to see it go. First of all, it rained all weekend. Rain is good, but it always depresses me a bit. Plus, it made us have to push back our pest control guy from spraying our yard for fleas! We've had a few fleas pop up on our little furbabies since we fostered that fluffy puff marshmallow a couple months ago and I.Do.Not.Like.Fleas.

I spent most of Saturday and some of Sunday cleaning out our (fully converted) garage. As I was cleaning and consolidating some boxes, I realized that at some point in time, one of the far corners - outside wall - had gotten water on it. Naturally I freak out and even more naturally my husband tries to calm me down. I called our water detective (aka "Dad") and he helped us try to figure it out. So far, we think it could be from a wall unit air conditioner (which does not get used often - right now, the "garage" is basically our storage room), our standing freezer, or from the outside. After a couple of experiments, we're thinking it is probably not coming in from outside, but we're not completely sure yet. *sigh* Talk about stress. Now I want to start knocking down the walls and checking for mold. Can we say over-reacting?

Friday and Sunday I was reminded yet again how much of a failure I am as a woman as the single lines on my HPTs glared back at me, taunting me. Such evil things, those single lines are. Three weeks ago I was ready to abandon all hope of ever having a child of my own blood (I want to adopt someday whether I ever give birth or not) then hope started to creep back in. I'm not so sure that hope is a good thing since the higher your hopes are, the more it hurts when they come crashing down on you. You know you've been trying to conceive for too long when you're sitting in the middle of a restaurant and a couple with a young son and teeny tiny newborn sit next to you and you spend the rest of your visit there trying not to bawl.

Sunday I found out that my grandmother is back in the hospital - this time with a blood infection. An infection which would otherwise not be that big of a deal for a healthy person got into her blood and became serious since her immune system is compromised due to the chemo she has been on. Please keep her (Jane) in your prayers. I also found out today that a friend/former co-worker's mother was in a pretty serious car accident. Thankfully she walked away from it with just some broken ribs and a few other injuries, but had there been someone in the passenger seat, that person may not have survived. My friend's young daughter was almost in that passenger seat! Thank the Lord for mother's intuition (or in this case, I think the Holy Spirit).

So I'm sad, I'm tired, I'm worried (and of course a little thankful) and I'm very glad that tomorrow is a new day. Let's just hope that the new day brings better news.