Friday, February 1, 2008

Long week long post

This has been the slowest week ever!So much has happened in the last few days that it just seems like there should have been more time passing than actually has.I am just tired.

First off my baby sister had her first child on Human Rights Day.He is a huge ol’ thing, 9 pounds 13 ounces.It was overdue by almost a week and so the gutted her and pulled him out.I keep teasing her that she was disemboweled or gutted instead of a Cesarean, more graphic that way.Gets her all riled up. This makes 5 9/10 nephews and four nieces.My brother’s baby boy is due in a couple of days; they are just in a waiting pattern for her to go into labor. That will bring the total to 10; 5, 4 and 1 kids in the respective families.

Then my roommate came home from Portland, which was cool expect his uncle finally succumbed to the cancer he had been fighting for months and died one hour before he came back into town.That was on Saturday so the last week has been one long day after another.Getting things ready for the funeral, making a video slideshow of his photos things like that.I was only involved on the sidelines of course but still it has been a long week and the funeral was yesterday.I took the day off to be there but have to work again on Saturday to make up the time and to cover things here at work while the Legislative session is still going on.Only fifteen more days till it ends, I can’t wait.

Even though it if Friday I still have another day of work and it is throwing me off my internal schedule that always makes me tired.Added to that the weekly card game was canceled, I didn’t realize how much I enjoy that time out just being social and playing around. Added on to the top of all that I am horny, and haven’t really had the time to jack off like normal.Normally I jack off like three to four times a day and this last week it has only been three or four time period.I just get so busy or tired I miss the chance and then I hot times were I can really feel the lack.Plus I have been getting together with a guy almost weekly since he moved back into town in October and I haven’t seen him for a week either and I miss being naked with him.

Things with him have me all messed up in the head as well.We have been getting together on and off for almost 9 years now but he never wanted a relationship.I was okay with that because seriously the sex is and has always been amazing.We just click and sync and I can’t really describe it.I have never met anyone who can kiss better than him just the right mix of tenderness and force in his lips.I hate those guys who kiss with mushy lips and realize that the lips have to move as much as the tongue to make for a really good kiss.Anyway I have always been half in love with him and since he has moved back from San Francisco he has changed.It has all been a really good way though.He is more comfortable being gay and in his own skin which has only made him hotter.He is more open and emotional; we actually spend time cuddling and not just a wham bam great sex bye thing.I know there is more there between us but I guess I am scared that if I mention changing what we have I will lose it.It is just I have nights were I just almost ache for wishing he was there.I don’t think it is just lust, I know it is not nor the need to have someone there.I want him there you know?He got a promotion at work a couple of weeks ago and I was so excited and proud of him.I still am. I just want to celebrate for him.I know acting like a 12 year old.I just like him and in all honesty probably falling in love with him which is why I am so nervous I guess.

Dearest John,Boy, do I know what you're going through! My beloved mother died of agressive cancer in November. I still can't believe she's gone. My siblings are doing a great job being there for my Dad, but they are all 1700 miles away from me and I feel bad that I can't be there too. On top of that, it's been almost ten years since the love of my life left this world due to HIV, and I haven't had anything worth talking about since. So, all I can say is, treasure your guy. Do whatever it takes to keep in your life! Cuddle him, and make him know, in every way you can, that you are his. Don't get me wrong, sex can be fun and hot and addictive, but affection and tenderness are priceless!!!Sorry for the long epistle, but it helps to get it off my chest.

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About Me

I am just a regular gay guy who enjoys looking and sharing photos of great looking men.
This is also a place to vent and express thoughts when needed.
So anyway some of the things I enjoy. I love to read, I am reading constantly. I have several books that I am reading at the same time. I have the car book for when I have to wait somewhere; I have living room book, the bathroom book and the bedroom book. I love fantasy books, science fiction and gay novels. I worked in a gay bookstore for a while and was in book heaven I got to spend all day at work reading the stock as part of my job. Too bad it had to close, I miss it.
I also enjoy listening to music. I have a pretty diverse taste in music but generally center on artists like Darren Hayes or Casey Stratton. I also enjoy movies and TV a great deal. Usually I am doing a couple of things at the same time; reading and watching TV at the same time for example.