Time to "MAKE MYSELF MY HOBBY" - From 2005 to 2008 I lost 42 kgs and things went wrong in my life with my mum and work and went in to major depression. I am trying my hardest to get back in to it and doing it for me. Going to "Make Myself My Hobby".

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Sunday, 14 May 2006

Mothers day weekend

I haven't had a bad weekend... I just didn't feel like being on the computer that is all. I have had a busy weekend with a lot of ups and downs but sometimes writing it down makes it all come alive or something.

Been quite depressed because I haven't really tried this week with my weight loss and feel like quite a failure really because I haven't bothered to try. OK I went to the gym enough and did enough exercise but the food portions haven't been that wonderful and I am the only one to blame but I cannot seem to get myself back into it.

SaturdayHad a huge argument with hubby today and felt angry all day. We didn't have much money this week and I said to him make a deal with his bro to pay him on Wednesday with the half for his mothers day present for his mum but he decided no that wasn't right so either me or my mum would suffer...now I know that it is his mum but for christ sake my mum does more for him that his mother has ever done.

My mother is always there for us if we need her and she helps us with the kids and when we want to go out she will look after them. If we want his mother to look after them then we have to book her a month or two ahead of time and that doesn't guarantee us getting her to help either.

So they brought her a DVD player for about $100. So I was angry with him he took the boys and he went shopping and by the time he got back there was no time for me to buy anything for my mum for mothers day... OMG I was pissed off. He took the boys to the $2 shop to get me a present... the 2 fucken dollar shop yet he spent $50 (half between him and his brother) on his mother.

I just wanted to fucken kill him. I know it isn't in how much you spend but the thought I do understand that but it would have been a good idea to think of us first since that is what we always do for him. We are the ones that remember his birthday that get him clothes etc...

So anyway will tell you about mothers day on the Sunday part so you will have to read on....

We had a work dinner to go to tonight at Villagrads and I was looking forward to it as it is a winery that has a fantastic restaurant with it and entertainment.

So it was even more special tonight as it was the stomping of the grapes too as it was their 100th year in business. They got volunteers from the audience to come and get their shoes off and stomp the grapes in the barrel... got lots of photos of the girls doing that. I didn't fancy getting my feet all squishy he he he.

We took a bus to the dinner because it is out in the country and so we can also drink and not drive. Needless to say I drank sooooo much and was feeling quite good that after dinner (which was devine I must say and I chose not to have dessert wohooo for me) the brazilian dancers came on and gave us a great show with all their costumes and dancing and then my old boss decided that I had to get up and dance to the brazlian music.

It was a fantastic night and I felt like I had eaten alot but when I asked hubby he said no I hadn't eaten a lot and I didn't go back for seconds like other people had but with the alcohol I don't think it helped he he he. We got home at 2am and when my head hit the pillow I was gone that is for sure.

SundayWoke up and the kids came and gave me their hand made cards and I was sooooo proud of them. Then they had two little presents all wrapped up in red celophane and bows and in each one was a braclet and a candle from each boy. The braclet was made out of beads and they were so nice.

Hubby made me a reallllly nice brunch with the boys IN BED woohooo and I got an hour to sit in bed reading my book OMG it has been like forever since I have sat down and read my book that is for sure.

Hubby came back up and gave me a $50 note and said that I have to buy either a watch or a tripod for my camera. I said I would get a tripod as I want to do more with my photography so that will be exciting. HMMMM still was seething about the fact I hadn't gotten mum anything so we decided to go out for deveonshire tea with her today and put it on the credit card (I HATE using the credit card grrrr but it was worth it for mum) and told her that I would give her $50 (the one hubby gave me and I would get my tripod later on) to go and get herself something that she wanted and she was so happy with that. My mum can be such a fussy woman that giving her money to get something she likes is better believe me!!. So it all worked out in the long run but it doesn't mean that I was happy with the way that his mother came first AGAIN when she doesn't exactly think of us.... but what can I do about it.

My mother in law is coming over for dinner tonight and I have my pj's on oohhhhhhh I feel so luxurious that is for sure. Sitting in my pj's heater on in front of the tv in the lounge.... cat sitting next to me keeping me warm.

So anyway the book I am reading at the moment is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix... (the fifth book). I have to get up with it as they are making the next movie and I really like Harry Potter he he he he...

I am thinking by July I am going to open up my journal again with no password but I am still not telling everyone it is here yet... but we shall see.