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5 Tips On Coping With Anxiety

Do you know what anxiety feels like? Anxiety can manifest in many different forms and it varies from person to person. A friend described her anxiety as an inability to breath and chest tightness. Others may have anxiety symptoms such as muscle achiness, chronic fatigue, dizziness, and accelerated heart rate.

We can experience anxiety almost everyday of our lives. We worry about a speech we have to give in front of an audience, we stress about our deadlines at work and school, and we get scared when we have to face a difficult situation.

Anxiety is our body’s automatic response to danger; it’s like an alarm that goes off every time we feel threatened. According to Shallcross (2009) anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the nation, affecting 40 million adults or 18 percent of the adult population. Some of the well-known anxiety disorders are panic disorder, social disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and specific phobia. When we experience anxiety on a daily basis, it can have a negative impact on our relationships and activities, ultimately causing even more anxiety.

Robert L. Leahy, author of Anxiety Free explains that our life-style today is very demanding, which is leading to the increase of anxiety in our society. We have to have the latest gadgets, we are driven by unrealistic ideas about our relationships and appearance and we demand more and more of ourselves. Also, the news from TV and newspapers are bombarding us with messages that say that we are in danger. However, it’s not about what the people or the news say that counts, but it’s about what we think that really counts. Change your perception and you will change the way that you feel.

Here are 5 tips on Coping with Anxiety:

1. Change your life style. Analyze the things in your life that are causing stress and confront them or eliminate them from your life.

1. Fatigue

Excessive fatigue is a by-product of stress; if you're tired you are not likely to want to engage in intimacy, which takes energy, says McGrail.

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2. Physical reactions (or lack thereof)

If your mind "believes" it is under threat it can reduce libido in both men and women; even prevent a man from gaining an erection and a woman from being able to become aroused and lubricated. "Adrenaline and Cortisol (stress chemicals) are the antitheses of serotonin, prolactin and oxytocin, the feel good chemicals (endorphins) associated with happiness and intimacy," says McGrail.

Stress can be responsible for depleting your energy and destroying your desire. "It can manifest as an upset stomach, a pain in the neck, a backache that interferes with sexual intimacy, a headache that makes you too uncomfortable to be intimate," says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist & SHRINK WRAP media commentator. If you aren’t feeling sexy yourself, sex is not likely to be on the table.

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3. Ruined Mood

Everyone who has had a rough day and emerged crabby knows stress affects moods: "For example, when the economy is bad we see so many men come in and get treated for erectile dysfunction," says Sexual Health MD Dr. Jed Kaminetsky. The reason for this is that so many people's (men in particular) identity is focused on being successful, and having monetary gain. If they cannot do that, and don’t feel content, the rest of their body begins to shut down—starting with their sexual stamina.

"Stress is particularly disruptive to women, it's easier for men to be aroused. Women's environment and mood need to be appropriately set in order to enjoy sex. Stress impedes that enjoyment. Most women need to be able to clear their mind in order to experience enjoyable sex. Stress affects both genders sexually, but is more impactful on women," says Kaminetsky.

4. Relationship stress

When a couple are constantly jockeying for position and control, the hormone oxytocin (that promotes bonding, intimacy and empathy) is reduced, says Dr. Jeanette Raymond, a psychologist and expert on stress and its impact on relationships. Both parties are in defensive posture and neither wants to "give" themselves up in a vulnerable situation like sex.

"Stress hormones like cortisol and cytokines set them up for fight or flight, not close intimate connections. However sexual power games may arise—rough sex, S & M, sex where one partner ridicules the other in terms of their sexual prowess or ability to last," says Raymond.

5. Anxiety-related stress

When you stressed, are you in the mood to be ‘in the mood’? Many of us aren’t. Stress from anxiety, fear, anger results in a depletion of energy and a lack of libido, says Raymond. "Men may experience erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and impotency. Women may experience painful intercourse as their vaginal muscles tighten and there is no oxytocin to lubricate the vaginal walls. Foreplay is restricted and desire curbed,” says Raymond.

We also may not feel sexy, ourselves. Stress caused from the source is chronic, weakens the immune system and causes headaches, gastric and skin problems that interfere with the feeling of being attractive and desirable, says Raymond.

6. Lack of validation stress

Stress from this source alters the feeling of desire to be with the person who doesn't appreciate or validate your efforts and sacrifices, says Raymond. The need for validation supersedes libido. It changes the nature of the relationship from equal partners to parent/child, with the latter role person desperate to be noticed and attended to. In this scenario, sex is a no-no!

Excessive fatigue is a by-product of stress; if you're tired you are not likely to want to engage in intimacy, which takes energy, says McGrail.