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“Mrs. Human I have told you time and time again. I do not like it when you take mug shots of me without my express permission. There are moments when my true beauty does not show and when I am relaxing and refurbishing my good looks I do not need a camera in front of my face. It destroys my chances for cat of the year.”

“But Tabby you look so sweet when you are yawning and showing all your ferocity.”

“I am not ferocious, I am a sweet feline that is always in a good mood, except when I do not give my express permission for photos. And now leave me to sleep further, without any interruptions.”

“I was just about to prepare your evening meal.”

“In that case I will rethink my further relaxation. What am I getting.”

“It is Sunday and I thought some tuna fish would be suitable.”

“What are you garnishing it with?”

“Tabby you do not need a garnish, you do not eat it.”

“Some chopped chives would perhaps be suitable. I also eat with my eyes Mrs. Human and just a plate of fish shows no feeling and does not encourage me.”

“I never noticed that you need encouragement to eat tuna fish Tabby.”

“That is not the point Mrs. Human, but a little dignity when serving my food would be appropriate and no, do not take a photo. My life is becoming far too public here. Everyone sees what I am doing daily.”

“You mean I should not put your photos on Facepaw after I take them.”

“Definitely not, they will all be laughing at me. Imagine the kittens having no respect for me. I am their guiding paw in the world. You have already destroyed my image with this yawning photo today. And now leave me to eat my tuna fish in peace and quiet.”

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Zip? I am still looking for it. You know how hot it gets in this fur coat in Summer. I almost melt. We have a faulty design on our bodies. We cats need to breathe in summer and they forgot to insert the zip. It is most annoying, but one day I will find it and then you will see me in my complete form. In the meanwhile keep searching. Our cousins, the sphynx cats have no problem. They never got their fur coat, although I think they would like one in the Winter.

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Snooze? Of course. The best way to pass time. It’s a way of one of the cat’s nine lives, if you still have nine. I lost a few on the way unfortunately, that is why I am still snoozing. I must conserve my energy for greater deeds, like preparing for a snooze. There is nothing better and I never ever have sleepless nights or days. Insomnia does not exist in meow.

Of course, I am not completely on the other side, you never know if there is danger lurking in the background, although I organised Mrs. Human to make sure that I am not disturbed. She also snoozes now and again and so I join her. Snoozing together is much more fun.

As the famous feline Purrs William Blakecat said “Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. and sleep in between”. We all know that a wakeful moment is a wasted moment. So cats and kittens remember: snooze when you can, it is the essence of life and do not forget to have a good lick before and afterwards to refresh yourself for the next snooze. Food? of course but only when you are not snoozing.

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Now let’s see. I think if I press that button on the right of my paw it makes it faster. Shall I go for the black keys or the white ones? The problem with the white keys is that my paw is to big and it presses two keys at one, although that is quite melodic. Mrs. Human finds that a melody is something different and there should be another key in between, but human ears are not so finely tuned as those of a feline.

I think I will stay with the black ones. Oh, look here is a key saying organ. Now that is a good one, nice and loud with an echo. Why are there no meow keys. I suppose we have another case of human production- They never take our feline taste into consideration. So now for a nice tuneful relaxation.

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Drinking water is an art in itself
Just do not lap it up, but let it give wealth
Every drop is savoured, absorbed by the tongue
It is very healthy and helps you stay young
There are many flavours according to the rain
It falls from the sky and lubricates the brain
Let it lay in a puddle and it is supreme
Tastes of nature develop, a wonderful dream
Do not just slurp and gulp, drink it with style
your taste buds will treasure it and make it worthwhile
Let it lay still and achieve a new stage
It is similar to wine, and matures with its age
I lick from my paw, it refines the good taste
every drop is consumed, there will be no waste
It is not just a quenching of thirst you must know
but revitalising the whiskers, so just let is flow

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Three Cool Cats, Nera, Tabby and Fluffy

This blog belongs to Tabby the cat that owns me. There two other cats Nera and Fluffy but they left for the eternal corn chambers, never to be forgotten and sometimes they still pay a visit on this page. They see life from a feline perspective. They sleep 23 hours a day and spend an hour looking for somewhere to sleep. Their hobbies are eating, sleeping, hunting and birdwatching.