Warning Signs

It is sometimes difficult to recognise that you are being abused. Relationships develop and change over time, and personal boundaries can be crossed without the victim realising it. At the beginning of the relationship, abuse is generally not present, but increases in frequency and severity over time.

What are the signs of domestic violence?

Pressure tactics: sulking, threatening to withhold money, disconnect the telephone, take the car away, commit suicide, take the children away, report you to welfare agencies unless you comply with his demands regarding bringing up the children, lying to your friends and family about you, telling you that you have no choice in any decisions.

Disrespect: persistently putting you down in front of other people, not listening or responding when you talk, interrupting your telephone calls, taking money from your purse without asking, refusing to help with childcare or housework.

Breaking trust: lying to you, withholding information from you, being jealous, having other relationships, breaking promises and shared agreements.

Isolation: monitoring or blocking your telephone calls, telling you where you can and cannot go, preventing you from seeing friends and relatives.

Harassment: following you, checking up on you, opening your mail, repeatedly checking to see who has telephoned you, embarrassing you in public.

Threats: making angry gestures, using physical size to intimidate, shouting you down, destroying your possessions, breaking things, punching walls, wielding a knife or a gun, threatening to kill or harm you and the children.

Sexual violence: using force, threats or intimidation to make you perform sexual acts, having sex with you when you don’t want to have sex, any degrading treatment based on your sexual orientation.

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Domestic Violence is any form of physical, emotional, sexual or financial abuse which is used to gain power and control over the other person in an intimate relationship.

Women often say emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse as it leaves no visible scars, is difficult to prove and can be very damaging.

Children living with domestic violence can also suffer in a variety of ways; either by witnessing violence itself, by being used as emotional pawns or indirectly by the stress suffered by their mother.