David Cameron is touring the Middle East not as you might think to promote trade but to hold up Britain to the world – to speak up for us politically. In case you missed reports I can tell you something of what he has beem saying. We are called Great Britain and Northern Ireland and we are great as the name implies. We have always been great. Once when 2/3 of the world’s surface owed alleigance to the British Crown. we were very, very great. We are somewhat smaller now but not very small and not insignificant. We have a part to play in Europe (alas) and in the Coomonwealth (you may not have heard of that) and we often talk to the USA. It is a mistake to assume that we always do what the USA wishes us to do. Oh no, we often differ. Indeed we have differed from them once in the last three months to the best of your memory. (Here he takes his coat off. Some in the audience think this to be rude). Britain has been rsponsible for some of the world’s greatest discoveries: penicillin, the jet engine, electric light bulbs, plastic coat hangers and left handed screw drivers, to name but a few. There will be more like this in the future. But he was there not to talk about screwdrivers but about democracy. Britain, and we know it to be true, is the world’s oldest parliamentary democracy with universal rights to be fairly represented, equality before the law and rights of assembly. It would be best if other countries followed our example. Some have said that our Government if not fairly elected and our politicians are corrupt. This is not fair. It is true that his party won only 30 percent of the votes of the whole electorate but that was not his fault. He had explained Conservative policies fairly and honestly and the Tory tribe in Southern England had supported his party. Was that not good enough.?He thought so and infinitely better than a dictator with 99 percent. In a democracy no party or individual can get 99 percent. Although come to think of it that might have to be arranged. The important point he had to bring to their minds is that Britain was their friend and on the side of popular demands for democracy and fair play. British people have always supported fair play and sometimes have insisted upon it. Of course we have for many years been committed supporters of the dictators that have ruled you and your neighbours. I confess to you that these imperial policies may have been mistaken. It is big of me, you are quite right, but I wasn’t on the scene at the time.

I hope you feel that as a young and thrusting white and rather posh Englishman I am on your side. If not I have wasted my trip. Please do not let me down. God save our Queen. Thank you.