Your Daughter vs. Her School Dress Code

School dress codes aren’t anything new, but the buzz, drama, and
downright controversy swirling around them in recent years has put a
major spotlight on what your daughter can—and more pointedly,
can’t—wear to class. Stories about middle- and high-school girls being
pulled out of class for wearing shorts that are deemed too short or
shirt straps that are seen as too thin are making headlines, going
viral, and prompting many girls and adults to question whether or not
these wardrobe rules are fair.

But what happens when dress codes go from simply a buzzy topic you
hear about in the news to an issue that’s directly affecting your girl
and her friends? Check out these tips from Girl Scouts’ developmental
psychologist, Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald on how to deal when your
daughter is upset about her school’s dress code:

Get Her to Talk“If your daughter thinks the rules are
inappropriate, hear her out—whether you agree with her or not,” says
Dr. Bastiani Archibald. Get the conversation going by asking her what
feels unfair about the rules. Is it the dress code itself, or how it’s
enforced? Are some girls called out while others aren’t? Are the rules
as strict for boys as they are for girls? Are there parts of the dress
code, perhaps some that relate to safety concerns, that she does think
are reasonable? What does she think should change?

Get Her to QuestionRather than telling your girl that
rules are rules whether they’re unfair or not, recognize this as a
great opportunity for her to engage in civic action and stand up for
what she believes in. The world never changes if people just shrug
their shoulders and accept status quo! “Questioning school
rules—whether or not they’re fair, why they exist, and whether or not
they serve the purpose they were intended to— sets your daughter up to
be an active member of our society as she gets older,” says Dr.
Bastiani Archibald. “We need more leaders who take the time to not
just think about why rules and systems are the way they are, but also
how they can be improved and made better for everyone."

Get Her to ActGirls around the country aren’t simply
complaining about their schools’ dress codes or how they’re enforced
in the classroom. They’re taking action. By organizing, advocating for
herself through student government, showing up at parent-teacher
nights, and even speaking at school board meetings, your daughter can
take a stand, raise awareness, and possibly change the rules. And
regardless of the outcome of her actions, simply taking these steps of
advocacy will teach her how to use her voice and get involved in her
community. And that is a pretty awesome thing, no matter where you
stand on the issue!