Oh, well hi there! I'm Jordan, this 27 year old guy who says and
does things and will eventually die. ...I'm mostly in it for the
stories I will have happen to me (and consequently get to later
embellish and tell) in the interim.

- Scrabble
- sarcasm
- knowing how to spell things; conversely, making people feel bad
for not knowing how to spell things
- that thing I can do with my tongue when I'm a little bit
drunk
- babyland frolics

I would imagine that, upon meeting me for the first time, one's
internal monologue sounds something like this:

"Huh, that guy has.. some really fluffy hair. I wonder if his
mother was a dandelion.. hm. And wow, those.. are those glasses
upside-down? No, I guess they're just designed weird, but they're
definitely pink. It's a shame he smells like angels and pheromones,
because I'm pretty sure he's gay*."

*I am not, in fact, but that does not change my informal exit
polling figures, which indicate that up to 60% of all people
interacting with me for the first time are "at least curious about
(his) sexuality."

Television - Sons of Anarchy, Always Sunny, True Blood, Key and
Peele, The Newsroom, Arrested Development, Adventure Time!, The
Walking Dead, Mad Men, and so on and so forth.

Music - Pretty much anything.. I'm partial to ska, but not current
with it. I'm kind of on a rap kick right now, and my tastes are
currently stuck in 2003-2005. No country ever (Cash is
transcendental). I'm appreciative of classical, but don't listen to
it very often.

Books - The Perks of Being a Wallflower, 1984, On the Road, Dante's
Inferno (Ciardi translation; it totally matters), anything by Dave
Eggers, mostly the same for David Sedaris, Fahrenheit 451, House of
Leaves, wait I almost forgot anything by John Green, The Fuck-Up,
The Ender's Game series (too bad OSC is a racist, homophobic
fuckwad), Overqualified, aaaaand then like a whole bunch of other
stuff. Bonus information: my relationship with books is mostly in
fits and spurts. I won't read anything for like.. six months, then
clear 7000 pages in a week and a half or so.

1) Music.
2) Baby animals. I don't need to own any, I just need to know
they're out there being adorable as shit.
3) Glasses.
4) Laughter.
5) Air conditioning. Not in Phoenix, at least.
6) Water. As in "YO' BODY NEEDS WATER, SO DRINK THAT SHIT!"

- That no matter how much I know about it, the Internet will always
be magic as far as I'm concerned.

- I wonder if I'll ever be a Missed Connection on Craigslist.. it's
nice, no matter how unnecessary, to be noticed sometimes.

- Will I ever pick up that guitar in the corner and learn how to
play it?

- There are over 8,000,000,000 people in the world.. what are the
chances that someone's having this exact same thought right now
(especially if it's crazy esoteric like "if I absolutely had to
construct a blow dart in the next thirty seconds, what materials do
I have within immediate reach that will best suit those needs")?

You want to talk or think we could be soulmates (or arch enemies,
because that could be entertaining) or are not opposed to texts in
all caps at three in the morning (or are totally opposed to it but
are a super forgiving person).