“If Obama Don’t Win”

As I lied down in bed last night, shortly before my Brazzers session, I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Obama don’t win. Naturally, I searched twitter for these answers. The following are the “Top Tweets” for the hashtag #IfObamaDontWin. These are not edited, and they are not limited to any one race, gender, creed, or intelligence level.

Thanks JAH. In my quest to find an answer to what will happen if Obama don’t win, you’ve given me some guidance. It seems that certain humans with dark skin pigmentation will somehow disintegrate into ashes. Interesting thought, although I’m not sure that science is on your side.

@_High_On_Life professes “imma have Kanye interrupt the election and be like hold the hell up!!!!

How would that work, logistically speaking? In theory, if Obama didn’t win, the election would already be over. I guess what I’m trying to ask is do you have access to some sort of time machine? If so, is your plan to transport Kanye back to Tuesday, November 6? That would be impressive.

kiaaa, otherwise known as @mytweets_wetter boldly asks: “I wonder if we can pick our own masters? cause we going back to slavery!”

I think this is the question that most rational people out there are pondering.

@MovieHumor states that “we can at least take comfort in knowing Daniel Craig is signed on for 2 more James Bond movies.”

What the fuck @MovieHumor? This is no time for jokes. Also, Daniel Craig is a pussy.

@TinaaMonroe has a chilling thought: “the world will end in 2012.”

You don’t have specifics? That’s it? You’re going to throw that kind of heat out there and not give any details? WTF

This is truly cryptic. As if the threat of being put into a concentration camp wasn’t bad enough, they’re going to do it Lika hoe. It’s a good thing 6 million Jews didn’t die in concentration camps, otherwise some people might take exception to this prediction.

@FRAILandDREADED “ima sell my soul…..twice”

Time out. Tap the brakes. This guy is not just going to sell his soul. No way. That wouldn’t be enough. He’s taking it up a notch. He’s going to sell it twice. I’m not sure if he’s planning on involving some type of third party to this transaction that would throw in a player to be named later in order to complete the deal, but he has a plan.

#Hipster, or @Diz_PBI claims that “Crackheads will spread.”

Don’t leave me hanging #Hipster. Spread what exactly? STDs? West Nile? The common cold? Their crackhead ass cheeks in order to take a dook in the urinal? What is it?

@anya_howard: “maybe Joe Biden will finally take time to seek treatment for his reoccurring foot-in-mouth.”

Bitch this is no time for partisan politics.

According to the “Black_Miley_Cirus”, If Obama don’t win- “let’s go to White Hall and start a Riot.”

I can only imagine what a riot at the “White Hall” would look like.

c.rex, known to the twitter world as @cassieebacaa states “ima paper cut between my toes”

Shit. I have a semi.

What does this all mean? I really don’t know. But what I do know is this: I was on the fence about Obama before all of this, but the possibility of spontaneous combustion, concentration camps, and paper cuts is too real to not vote for Obama.

gee, you’d think they could teach english in schools these days? urban slang is another way of saying i am an idiot who didn’t bother to learn to read and write properly because i am either headed to prison or welfare when i grow up.

But the picture of communists supporting obama led to me clicking on this post thinking it was fail friday. Therefore this article is getting a higher number of hits and comments of people bitching about fail friday.