How Do I Start Things Off??

Well its been a while since I've done much of anything, almost a year since I've even had sex or come close to even having it. I'm nervous and I feel like I've been trying too hard (to the point where I end up just stopping midway or changing the subject or canceling dates before they even start, etc.). I was with this guy before and I know him pretty well, but we haven't seen eachother in years, so it kind of feels like we are starting all over. I feel like I haven't done it in decades its been so long even though its only a year.

I really want to do it, and I can't find a way to get things started. I know he wants to, and I'm sure he has an idea want to have sex as well, but I think I'm having a hard time just getting the right mood without being nervous or anything. I keep picturing all those awful things that happened in the 40 Year Old Virgin and I just dont want it to be a disaster like that.

I know they say its like riding a bike, but honestly I haven't found it as easy. Can somebody drop a few suggestions, anything I could do without exactly throwing myself at him? I have invited him over, I am guessing sometime tomorrow or the day after (or both) and besides dressing the part (thats one thing I'm good at) I'm not really sure what else to do.

Gold Member

Sounds like you really just need to relax. It seems you're so consumed with the outcome (getting laid) that you can't just let things happen on their own. Your anxiety could quite possibly 'ruin the moment' - essentially sabotaging all your well-meaning efforts. On a humorous note, if I hadn't checked your post well, I would have thought you were a guy :lol

Most wonderful sexual experiences happen on their own... manipulation tends to 'cheapen' it, imho. Enjoy your date, do the things you like to do, talk about what interests you, and if it happens - it happens. Just let things flow naturally.

Putting your diaphragm and an assotment of condoms on the end table might help.:lol Just kidding sweetie. I totally agree with Rose, don't try to plan the encounter, just let it happen. You will know what to do and he'll probably help you along the way.:dgrin

But, I love it just as much when women tease me and respond to my teasing. I love innuendo's...both throwing them out (as in I'm going to tell you I want to fuck you in a way you have to figure out what I actually meant and if I'm serious) and getting them thrown at me (did she just imply that she wants to fuck me?). I love it. Sex starts in your mind. Get it started in both your minds, and you'll probably find yourself in the act quicker than you think.

If you both like to dance, put on some good slow music and maybe slow dance with him. If you're both hot for each other, it won't take long assuming you're alone.

And have a drink or two...a little "social lubricant" may ease anxiety for both of you. Don't overdo it though! Him having to hold you over a toilet kinda ruins the mood.

But, I love it just as much when women tease me and respond to my teasing. I love innuendo's...both throwing them out (as in I'm going to tell you I want to fuck you in a way you have to figure out what I actually meant and if I'm serious) and getting them thrown at me (did she just imply that she wants to fuck me?). I love it. Sex starts in your mind. Get it started in both your minds, and you'll probably find yourself in the act quicker than you think.

If you both like to dance, put on some good slow music and maybe slow dance with him. If you're both hot for each other, it won't take long assuming you're alone.

And have a drink or two...a little "social lubricant" may ease anxiety for both of you. Don't overdo it though! Him having to hold you over a toilet kinda ruins the mood.

BD

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Thanks! I'm glad I didn't drink too much beforehand, I usually try not to because too much liquor usually ruins the mood for me

Thanks everybody for the advice!
I am happy to inform you all that last night was AWESOME! The funny thing is I invited him to sleepover and he was like "Well that's what I had in mind" and everything went pretty smooth after that. It is like riding a bicycle, lol.

It was so good in fact, that we wound up doing it twice and he even made me breakfast. It was great

Well we were watching some movie for a while because it had been a long night (I wound up picking him up late after a party) and had a few beers. We had a good time talking, but I really wanted to get down to business so instead of watching the movie I just rolled over and faced him (we were on the bed). Of course he played like he didn't get what I was doing, so I ended up just running a hand up and down his shorts--- and realized he was already hard. After that I was on top of him, and I straddled him for a while, he took off my shirt and my bra and ended up kissing me all over my chest and neck.

Then he wound up picking me up and gently tossing me on the bed so he could stand up and I gave him head. I seriously think I have some kind of talent for this that nobody else does, because the guy was ready to come after like a minute. He's not too big or small, so I could fit almost all of him in my mouth, and I played with his balls at the same time. Then when I backed up and just licked it a few times he got really loud and was like "OK stop!" and was almost out of breath. So after that he fingered me a little before he was inside me, and for what felt like at least an hour or two we just went at it in as many different ways as we could.

At first he was on top of me, and pulled my legs tight around his waist and rubbing his body against mine. He was going so fast, and I could hear our bodies slapping against eachother, and it had me even more excited. In fact I was so excited I didn't even realize I was shouting the whole time, it was literally involuntary. We just stared into eachother's eyes as he came in and out of me. Then he got up and told me to turn around, and I gladly did so he could do me from behind. I was on all fours and he was on his knees, and he rubbed my clit while he hit me from the back. After a while he got up and picked me up, then threw me back on the bed. The next thing I knew my legs were over my head and his hands were holding my arms down. I was more than impressed, I was in awe. This was nothing like it was 5 years ago!

After that, he did some things that nobody had ever done with me. This guy grabbed me off the bed and picked me up, pushed me back onto his dick and just kept pushing me up and down onto it while he was standing up. After about 10 minutes (really) of that he finally seemed like he was getting tired, so I think I told him "Take me to the bed." I maybe didn't even say anything, but just looked at him, though. So he threw me on the bed again and laid down. Then I got on top of him. As I rode him he dug into my back with his fingers and kissed my stomach and chest. After a while he started groaning real hard and pulled me closer, threw me again and rolled back on top of me. I was getting close too, and I kept pushing him into me and grabbing his butt. He came sooner than I thought he would, and I was kind of mad that I didn't have an orgasm... but it was all good because I woke him up again later. I'll probably explain later, I see I probably wrote like a page just now