Did you know that Christian
women the world over are reaping the consequences of these actions?

Oh yes, there’s the exception that ends in a happy marriage.
And, I’m sincerely glad for the couple. Once in a great while “evangelistic
dating” works, and the man becomes a dedicated Christian, even before the
wedding date. Sometimes, a romance that begins as physical ends up with a deep
connection and friendship. Sometimes. And, from time to time, the girl who
threw herself at a young man actually gets him to marry her, and they live
happily ever after—even if he would have preferred to have started the
relationship himself. And yes, there are some decent results from Christian
online dating sites . . . sometimes.

But, “happily ever after” is the exception. Usually (like
almost always), when a woman disobeys the biblical model, she ends up with
heartache. Mr. Handsome and Dashing ends up being violent or emotionally
abusive. He went to church with her before the wedding, but he hasn’t darkened
the door since. He looked so promising on his online profile, but his true
profile turned out to be different.

And now, she’s married to him. She believes in life-long
commitment. But he’s cheating on her. She is trying to please him, but he’s
asking the almost impossible. She wants to bring up their children in church,
and he wants no part of God.

This happens time
after time after time.

Why?

Part of the reason is
because many women go about dating in entirely the wrong way. Let me
explain.

Biblically, a couple should
be of the same faith.(Exodus 34:16; Deuteronomy 7:1-3; Amos 3:3; 2
Corinthians 6:14) A Christian woman has no
business whatsoever dating a man who doesn’t manifest the fruit of the
Spirit in his life. (NOTE: You will never marry an unbeliever if you never date
one.)

A couple should value
purity before marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:1; Ephesians 5:3; 1 Thessalonians
4:3; 2 Timothy 2:22) We can teach our young women how to stay away from situations
that lead to temptation. It isn’t so hard to do! Here are some helpful dating
guidelines:

Always date a Christian man. Never even consider dating
anyone else.

Date in public places—somewhere that someone could walk by
at any minute. It isn’t as hard as it sounds. You can go to: the mall, a
restaurant, a concert, take a walk, go biking, do sports together, a park, etc.
Use your imagination. Just don’t go for hikes out in the wilderness, into a house
by yourselves, or any other isolated place.

Never park the car to talk. Get out of the car. (Only use
the car for transportation.)

If necessary, agree with your date on your dating standards.
(Example: “I don’t want to get more physical than holding hands/a good-night
kiss.”) If he doesn’t respect your wishes, you have the wrong man. (In the
future, he won’t listen to you, either.) Draw a line, and discipline yourselves
to stick to it. In a dating relationship, it’s much more important to talk than
to touch! Value respect and purity.

Biblically, a woman
should never chase a man.Do you
realize that the biblical women who chased men were either prostitutes or loose
women? (Genesis 19:30-36; 38:14-19; harlots; the “strange women” in Proverbs)
Not one righteous woman in Scripture
ever chased her husband. (This includes Ruth. Read my post, “Did Ruth Chase Boaz?”) A man wants to “catch” his wife. He doesn’t want to be “caught” by her.
A wise woman will encourage a good man’s advances, but she will let herself be
caught instead of going fishing herself. She will trust God to bring the right
man to her and will completely leave it up to God. She will be active in her
church, serving the Lord. This is a freeing way to live. A woman serves the
Lord until someone comes along and shows his interest in her. Then, it is
perfectly okay to encourage him, but let him
take the leadership.

I personally have my doubts about online dating. I’m not saying it never works, as I am
familiar with a couple of cases where it did work. What I am saying is that it
seems to be a means of getting yourself out there into the “marketplace.” I am
not sure how this jibes with trusting the Lord to bring you together.

God can orchestrate
many, many different situations in order to bring people together.I’ve
seen it happen over and over again. Two different Christian adults from two
totally different backgrounds end up in the same place (many times, in a church
or a Christian university) at the same time. They get to know each other in a normal setting, and they become friends. They realize there is
something more. They begin to date—purposefully and purely—and some time later, they’re
engaged and married.

Can we trust God? If
we can trust God for food, clothing, and guidance, can’t we trust Him to lead
us to the one He has for us, and him to us? Does Proverbs 3:5-6 apply to our
love life as well as other things?

Good advice. We have a young couple in our church who met via a Christian online dating service, are married, and now expecting their first child and very happy, but it's still not the route I would recommend for people.

Another caution I'd recommend is to be careful what you read and watch. Having sex very soon in the relationship is the "norm" in the world, and if we're constantly feeding ourselves that kind of story, it's easier to let ourselves go that way even if we know we shouldn't.

Very good, Barbara. Yes, what we "feed" our minds and brains affects us. The sexual relationship in entertainment seems to be an expression of lust and not committed love. It's important to teach our children and our churches the difference. Thank you for your thoughtful comment! God bless!

Hi and welcome to In the Way! I explore many subjects, striving always to present them from a biblical viewpoint. Feel free to browse the tabs at the top for general categories. If you don't see what you're looking for, use the search button below. I'm a pastor's wife, mother of two, grandma, teacher, author, and blogger. I live in a quaint little village in the beautiful Basque region of northern Spain.

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Lou Ann is a young-thinking grandma with an infectious laugh. She rejoices in nature and other beautiful things--including people! She's an avid writer and practices several other artistic expressions, like singing when no one's listening, calligraphy, photography, and even "serious art." Lou Ann loves her Lord Jesus Christ, family, and her church.