Thursday, July 14, 2016

Eli was away at camp this week; this particular camp is a very bare-bones Christian camp that we've come to love. Last night Lehr and I got to run out for a quick dinner date. Towards the end of the night a call came through on my phone from a number I didn't recognize. Thankfully I picked it up because it was the pastor at the camp calling to inform me that Eli had chosen to be baptized at the end of camp the following day.

So. Cool.

So we drove up in anticipation of seeing our boy publicly accepting Christ. Eli and a few other boys each took a turn walking into the pool with different counselors before praying, exchanging words and dunking. So so cool. We didn't see this coming, so it was even cooler than I could have imagined.

UPDATE: It took me a year to figure it out, but I wanted to get something for Eli to commemorate the life changing decision he made. He received a leather band from Lehr and I this summer with the following words etched into it:

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

This year's swim season was a much different one than any we've had in the past. For starters, I only attended 5 or 6 practices total. That is a far cry from me being at the pool every weekday morning for about 90 minutes! This year found Ruby with doctor appointments and therapies many mornings. So many that 3 or 4 days each week Eli and Maddux would have to ride their bikes to the pool and meet me back at home when they were done. Crazy that they are old enough to do that!

The other way this season differed from years passed is the amount of meets we attended. We had our church camp interfere with one meet and an overnight camp interfere with one meet. Unfortunately that only left three meets for the kids to participate in. They loved those meets, but it felt like only half of the season.

Both kids swam very well this year. Maddux swam 'up' for practice, working with 9-12 year olds each morning. (Eli swam up too, but the 11-12 group practices at the same time as 9-10, so no one noticed :) I felt like that helped push Maddux a bit; her efforts were rewarded at the end of the season when she received 'Most Dedicated Swimmer' for her age group.

Finally, we did not plan to attend the county swim meet this year (timing was off), but there were three other 7-8 year old girls from our team competing, and they needed one more swimmer to participate in the relays. She helped them out and they placed second for their freestyle relay! Maddux did a great job in the anchor spot, coming back from being behind when she jumped into the water. Such an exciting event!

Maddux has talked about doing year-round swimming, but we are waiting until the school year starts to sign up. She is an excellent swimmer and enjoys the meets, but she is known for momentary interests, so we are trying our best to make sure before we commit. I hope she does; she would do so well in this sport!

We were contacted several months back about speaking on the radio during a fundraiser for the Aflac Cancer Center (where Ruby stayed during her chemotherapy and where we visit monthly for appointments now). As scary as that sounded, I passed up an opportunity to do that during one of our longer stays at the hospital, and I regretted it, so I told the Care-A-Thon team "yes".

I put the date on the calendar, but didn't give it much thought because it was so far away. Then the team contacted us a few times in the last week to firm up details and verify our attendance. Last night I thought through some of the potential things that would come up in our conversation (we did not have a list of questions or topics to be prepared for), and I tried to prepare for how I would respond.

Before we even walked into the building we ran into a friend. Her son and Ruby play at Gigi's and we have been so blessed to get to know them in the last three years. That helped calm me a little, but then when we checked in, we found out that we would be slightly delayed from our original time. Enter nerves again! So Ruby kept herself busy in the infusion clinic...a place that I honestly loathed visiting during our treatment. A much easier/more pleasant visit today!

After about 30 minutes of play, they came and got us. As you might imagine, I didn't say half of what I prepared. The
'interview' went so fast and I wasn't able to process when he ('he'
being Herman Cain) would ask something else or break in, so what ended
up on-air was not any of the planned stuff. Such is life!

And here's what I planned to say:
When asked about the moment of Ruby's diagnosis, I planned to say that it wasn't hard. Ruby's diagnosis at birth was hard, because of our ignorance to T21. God used that initial diagnosis to make everything else that we've faced since then 'no big deal'. We had some tears, but God used Ruby's cancer to show us just how strong and capable this girl is, because her first diagnosis found us fearing she would not be either strong or capable. Cancer is shocking, but it's all relative, and we were blessed to not be blindsided by it because we already knew that kids with Down syndrome are more likely to get leukemia than other kids. That being said, we are so blessed that our pediatrician insisted on routine blood tests because even after Ruby was diagnosed, she wasn't symptomatic, so without that test, she could have gotten much sicker before we started treating her.

When asked about how our time at Aflac was, I planned to say that it was surprisingly ok. When you think about living in a hospital, it can be scary, but the reality was pretty 'normal'. You get into a routine and start thinking about your room as your living quarters and you just make the best of it. Ruby and I would have several things we'd do each day to keep us busy. After we had breakfast and did speech exercises, we'd walk the floor (or if we weren't hooked up, the hospital). We'd visit the garden or the playground and then come back for rounds. Then we'd repeat that cycle a few times during the day. The lunches delivered by Cure for the families on the AFLAC unit each week were a welcomed change from whatever combination of hospital food and snack bars I had. And the several times a week opportunities to dance and sing with the guys at Songs For Kids were therapy for me as much as for Ruby. Atlanta Clown Care made Ruby smile every time she saw them. And that's not even mentioning the volunteer readers and therapy dogs and the countless nurses and other CHOA and AFLAC staff that we encountered each day that helped us keep a smile on our faces.

When asked about how our family dealt with Ruby's cancer, I planned to say that it was hard. It was hard living in the hospital
for most of 7 months. It was hard to miss Eli's last year in elementary
school. It was hard to miss soccer games and field trips and other 'big
kid' things that Maddux and Eli were involved in. And it was hard to
live apart for our family. Ruby's first month included several visits at
the hospital, but after that, we were in flu season, so the kids
couldn't come to the hospital.

But we were so fortunate that this happened in the age of technology where the kids
could see Ruby on Facetime each night, and Lehr and I could see each
other over breakfast each morning. And we were incredibly grateful for
the friends that took care of our older kids while I was living at AFLAC
with Ruby. So many people stepped up in so many amazing ways...we couldn't have done it without them. And the big kids got to attend Camp Sunshine for a sibling camp, and they got to spend more one-on-one time with each Lehr and I as we traded off, so there were silver linings everywhere for them too.

When asked how Ruby is now, I planned to say that she is stronger than ever. God used Ruby's cancer and our time at the hospital to pull us closer to Him and remind us that He has us. Ruby has completed her treatment and is back to being a toddler who runs and yells and gets into everything.

So I didn't say half of that, but Ruby charmed the room, and she babbled on-air, and Lehr and I hopefully got to pass along a success story related to a place that doesn't always get to celebrate those.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

So here is a recap of a conversation that took place yesterday. Eli and I were running the race, and I was chatting along, trying to keep him from getting too distracted by the heat. Every few minutes I'd see something in the spectators or on the course and point it out to him. ('Check out that guy's shirt!' or 'That band reminds me of New Orleans.')

Then I saw something that made my throat tighten. Over a dozen men on the sidelines, wearing white shirts with the American flag, handing out water and high fives and shouting encouragement. And I was so touched to see the interactions between them and some runners.

Between these Muslim men and some white runners. Like a tiny glimmer of hope in a world that we have been painfully reminded is so broken so many times in just one summer month.

Me: Eli, I love their shirts...did you see what they said?Eli: Muslims for something...maybe America? (There was an American flag on them)Me: Muslims for loyalty. What do you think that means?Eli: That they feel like America is their home.Me: Me too. Why do you think it's so significant that they are over there, cheering us on, wearing those shirts? What do you think they are trying to tell us?Eli: Maybe that they are not trying to hurt us.Me: Why would they have to let us know that?Eli: Because most Muslims have made bad choices...(I cut him off after he said 'most')Me: No, no, no, Eli. SOME Muslims have made choices that have hurt others. You've got to be very careful about listening to what others say in the news and even in your school...if you believed that one represented all then you get yourself down a bad road. Many people believe Christians are all judgmental and unloving because of the choices and public statements of some. Do you think that's true? Do you think that we are mean and judgemental?Eli: No.Me: Do you think Pastor Rob is unloving towards others?Eli: No.Me: Do you think Daddy is unloving?Eli: No.Me: That's the point: there will always be some in a group of...whatever making a bad name for that group. You know those who follow Christ are trying to love people as Jesus did, even though some who claim to be Christians judge and hate others 'in the name of God'. And that's not fair to anyone..it makes it really hard for those of us who want to love and leave the judgment to God to convince others of that. I imagine it is even harder for Muslims to convince most Americans that they want peace, or that they are loyal to the United States. (Yup...Mommy just kept rambling on and on, as I do.)Eli: I guess so.Me: I think they are crazy brave to be standing out here identifying as both Muslim and American...there are some people who would feel so angry about them doing that that they might try to hurt them. It's easy for you and I to wear our red, white and blue stuff today. It's a lot harder for them to wear that flag on their shirt...

At this point a woman who was running right along side of us (over 50,000 people, so it's pretty tight quarters) looked me in the eye and interrupted me, "Good Job, mama. You're saying all the right things. Please keep it up."

This is the point when it seems pretty braggadocios...like I'm just pumping up what a good mom I am. But actually, it is the exact opposite.

This woman's words brought me to tears as I let them sink in over the following 60 seconds or so. They were kind. They reminded me that people around me could hear me. But mostly they pointed out that what I say has an impact. And mostly they exposed the ugly truth that I do not allow for nearly enough of these moments in the lives of my kids. I let them pass by way more than often than not.

Mostly I don't say the right thing, or anything at all, when given the opportunity. This was a rare moment that Eli and I were together with nothing to do BUT talk. He basically had no choice but to listen to me because the alternative was to think about running. And I had no other kids or housework or photo edits or anything to distract me from seeing something in his world and engaging him in a conversation about it while focusing only on it.

These moments don't happen nearly enough and I know it's almost always my fault. Most of the time it is easier to allow distractions to keep me from seeing these moments. Most of the time it's less effort to glaze over the difficult topics. Most of the time there is no time. But that woman reminded me that I need to make time for these moments because what I say to Eli matters and has an impact. The biggest impact is that I'm saying something to him. Who knows if Eli will remember what I said. Who knows if what I said was anywhere close to the right thing. Regardless, my job is to be his champion, his support, his teacher...so I need to keep making those moments happen at all costs.

The Peachtree Road Race is a July 10K held on Atlanta's most known street every July 4th. The only two years I've missed it are the year Maddux was born (the day before the race) and the year Ruby was born (estimated to be due the week before). And every year Lehr and the kids come down to watch the race. It's a tradition for us that we all enjoy.

Ever since the kids were little I've been dreaming of the day they would join me...a few years ago I passed a boy and his dad running and asked the boy's age, to see how much longer I'd have to wait. Two years ago, Eli asked to run the following year as we were leaving the race, but never wanted to train, so we opted not to have him run last year. Then, as we were leaving last year, he asked again. I reminded him that he would have to train some, so that it would be an enjoyable experience. He said he was in.

Fast forward to this spring when I had to apply for numbers. Eli assured me he was in (and he ran two 5K races this year, so he had some idea of what it would take). We planned a whole training regimen for the month-ish leading up to it, but that didn't really happen. The week of I decided to just 'let it go' and deal with his misery on the course (even though that was what I was trying to avoid). And then two days before the race, Eli asked to go for a training run with me. We covered four miles and he maintained a pace allowing him to run the entire time. I was so impressed, and I realized that this just might be a good race after all.

The day of the race we all got up early and drove down to Lehr's office together. The girls and Lehr walked to the place they were to watch the race and Eli and I took the train to the start line. We didn't have to wait long before the race started: couldn't have timed it better if I'd tried! The morning's weather was perfect (albeit hot, cuz it's Atlanta in July); while it was hot and humid, I felt like every time I started to notice the heat, we would hit some shade.

Eli ran the race, only stopping to walk two time (both on long hills after the 4mile mark). He kept a great pace that allowed him to sustain his run, and we finished in 67 minutes. Not bad for his first 10k!!

Sunday, July 03, 2016

Maddux is nine! Where that time went, I'll never know. She's gone from a tiny infant who required extra weight checks in her first few weeks to a thriving toddler with more words than imaginable who would make up songs and fill every waking second with her sounds to a beautiful pierced ears gorgeous eyes and freckled face free spirit that both challenges me and fills my heart daily. I can't wait to see what her tenth year brings!

Saturday, July 02, 2016

I remember Maddux climbing out once or twice (same crib), but it was because we had her trampoline next to her crib, so there was a soft landing. This girl...she doesn't need a soft landing. Her skills are finely tuned.

Friday, July 01, 2016

Ruby officially graduated from Babies Can't Wait on her third birthday. This means that we no longer receive the speech and physical therapy services she received through those therapists. We have two other speech therapists (one speech and language and one myofunctional), but we opted not to seek out private PT. While Ruby's visits were once/week for the first two years, once she learned to walk, we were really in a good place, and only saw the therapist about once/month. Then once Ruby went into the hospital, it was once every few months, at best. Both her therapist and I were in agreement that the work Ruby and I did was moving her forward in her progress (climbing, running, etc.). When we saw her the last time before Ruby's birthday, we reviewed strategies for moving forward, and Ruby was praised for how well she is doing.

About a month before that, I signed Ruby up for a 'Buddy & Me' gymnastics class. Once a week she and I go to a local gym where a teacher sets up a few little courses and instructs our flow while we walk our kids through it. Ruby LOVES it. She listens very well in the class and follows directions at least as well as the other (typical) kids, if not better. She climbs and balances and maneuvers through the 45 minute class with a huge smile on her face. I've noticed her gait is stronger; she almost has a full run now. She climbs anything and everything (even out of her crib!), and does most stairs with the help of a railing. She loses her balance and catches herself often. And she can walk through transitions (door ways with different levels on either side, short curbs, etc.) without support.

To say this girl is thriving in her new physical therapy routine would be correct.