The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

EVIL VIZIER: Apologies, Lord VladTron. We haven't been able to spare the men for a search party. We barely have enough troops to man the walls as it is.

LORD VLADTRON: What are you talking about? We have reserves on top of reserves. I've been mind-controlling soldiers like it's going out of style.

EVIL VIZIER: Yes, milord, your sorcery is without equal. But both the reserves and the reserves on top of reserves have been sent to reinforce Akkadian garrisons while Lord Piltogg's forces are assaulting the Death Wall.

LORD VLADTRON: Oh well that makes sense then - WHAT??? Since when are we supporting the Akkadians?

EVIL VIZIER: Surely you remember, sir. Lord Piltogg stood atop the tower of Bashlebubzelman and delivered such a speech to make the goddess Kasoda herself shed a tear, before engaging Almighty Benny in battle and laying claim to the Hammer of Discipline. The VladTron forces pled allegiance on the spot.

LORD VLADTRON: He out-charismaed my mind control? This sounds like a load of rainbow bullshit! Anyway, not even a tenth of the VladTron army was in Bashlebubzelman that day.

EVIL VIZIER: True, milord. But the ones who were there pooled their wages to buy movie projectors so that everyone here in the capital could watch the speech as well.

LORD VLADTRON: Impossible! They don't get wages! That's why I mind controlled them in the first place!

EVIL VIZIER: I'm sorry, milord. Lord Piltogg promised them wages in his speech, so I thought it would be best to dip into the treasury.

LORD VLADTRON: You DIPPED into the TREASURY??

EVIL VIZIER: I'm sorry, milord. Shall I have the men return their wages and recall our forces from Akkadia?

LORD VLADTRON: Nice try, you traitorous cur. The last thing I need right now is a mass mutiny, or to piss off the Akkadians. With our defenses stretched thin, King MethHouse and his dumbass Rainbow Knights could strike at any time.We'll need plot support. I'll tell Drayko to send out the thug squad to hunt down any eccentric old hermits in the area. Meanwhile, we'll need to fill the ranks with undead until we can get this sorted out. Have your Necromancers start raising whatever corpses they can get their mitts on.

EVIL VIZIER: Pinkomancers, milord.

LORD VLADTRON: Pinko- wait. Do I even want to know?

EVIL VIZIER: Pinkomancers, sir. FedoraNuker transmissions have led us to believe that Pink magic is the key to unimaginable power. The Necromancers have begun intensive studies into Pinkoism.

EVIL VIZIER (to himself): Stupid, perhaps, but we'll see who laughs last! You may have seen through my plan to turn your own men against you in a pro-Akkadian rebellion, but with the power channeled through the Pink dimensional gate, along with my SECRET WEAPON, I'll have enough power to overthrow you once and for all and claim the Scorpion Throne for myself!

LORD VLADTRON: Evil Vizier! What do I keep telling you about plotting to overthrow me?

EVIL VIZIER: Uh... wait until you're out of earshot?

LORD VLADTRON: Wait until I'm out of earshot! Have some evil standards for once!

The "magical forest samurai" get introduced in the next little story excerpt, but I'm not sure you'll want them. Instead I was planning on giving you the cliche magical girls who are crying because they need some big strong men to validate their existence. (Hidden agenda: get kisses from boys)

There is no way this can end badly!

aoffan23 wrote:So I might just be really impatient, but is this the sign-up? Or is there still more follow-up story?

Oh there's a bunch more follow-up, you're going to be waiting for a while. Just sit tight.

Judicious use of compressed air and photoshop. The front wall of the castle has been on the shelf for six or seven years, so you'll probably see some dust on that part.

I want to try and give first right of sign-ups to the winners of Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse Pt. 1 from three years ago. I think most of those people are still around, but we'll see how it goes.