Emily Bennington is author of Who Says It’s a Man’s World: The Girls’ Guide to Corporate Domination and the founder of AWAKE EXEC mindful leadership coaching for women. Her work deep dives into what Stephen Covey famously referred to as “the space” between stimulus and response where she challenges professionals to choose intentional, values-centered action. Emily has led training programs for numerous Fortune 500 companies and has been featured in business press ranging from CNN, ABC, and Fox, to the Wall Street Journal, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan. She is also a contributing writer for Monster.com and a featured blogger for Huffington Post and Forbes Woman. You can find her digital sandbox online at www.emilybennington.com.

'It Stops With Me.' Fox Business Host Recalls Painful Childhood in New Memoir

FoxBusiness host Melissa Francis calls herself “the only person who ever went to Harvard against their parent’s wishes.” If you’ve read her new memoir, Diary of a Stage Mother’s Daughter, you know why. The book opens with an eight-year-old Melissa forced to walk home alone at night after being left on the side of the road by her mother. It ends with her becoming a mother herself. What lies between is the tale of a childhood spent on the set of Little House on the Prairie (yes, she’s THAT Melissa Francis)…and a childhood spent under the crushing weight of a dysfunctional home governed by a vicious stage mother. Below Melissa shares how she earned her stripes after going from actor to anchor, why success doesn’t always equal happiness, and how her own past will shape the future she wants for her kids.

Melissa Francis hosts MONEY with Melissa Francis on Fox Business weekdays at 5pm

I’m interested in your professional transition from child star to journalist. From your experience, what have you learned about being taken seriously in the corporate world?

I have Producer Michael Landon to thank for that because he repeatedly drilled into us a very serious work ethic on the set of Little House on the Prairie. He was a charismatic, dynamic, fun-filled guy but – at the end of the day – he was very focused about his production company and his work. We were expected to show up like adults – rested, ready to hit our marks, lines learned – no joke. He truly instilled in us all the highest expectation of ourselves, coming to the set prepared and ready to work, with time for celebration and reward only after the job was done well. It was because of him that I adopted these critical values. I feel blessed to have learned the importance of hard work at such a young age – it has carried me through many career challenges and transitions.

Your memoir outlines your complex relationship with your mother and provides a counter to the so-called “rise of Tiger Moms.” Why did you choose to come out with this story now and what do you hope readers gain from it?

I started writing this book when Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reached critical mass because the idea of parents emulating that model absolutely terrified me. I was the product of an extreme version of a tiger mom – the Hollywood stage mom – and I wanted to warn that while this unrelenting type of parenting can make some children disciplined and focused, it can be wildly destructive to others, robbing them of their confidence and their identity when they fail to please the tiger parent. And as a part of my own story, it sent my sister into a truly devastating spiral when she felt that there was nothing she could do to be the best in my mother’s eyes. I would never tell anyone how to parent – I have two small children and I do my best, but I still grapple with it. Still, I’ve seen that they respond so differently to the exact same circumstances, stimulus, discipline and encouragement. It just produces a totally different result – and so when I hear about someone coming out with a new formula for parenting I cringe because – from my own experience – while it could turn one child into a champion, it could completely destroy another one.

So here comes the obligatory balance question. Your children are 2 and 6 now. How do you juggle it?

Every working mom knows that “the juggle” is so hard, and I think the statute is you ultimately feel guilty all the time. I mean, you feel at fault when you’re at work because you’re not at home with your kids and you wonder what you’re missing – and when you’re at home, well, I know I feel guilty that there are times when I’ve left work undone and left things for my colleagues to finish. And I find myself every single day thinking: ‘I’m doing the best I can.’ But one thing I will say is that when I am home, I do put my Blackberry and my work away and I’m so thrilled to see my kids and they’re so happy to see me that we really focus on each other and make the most of that time. I hope that my sons see a smart, capable working mother and that model benefits them. But, yes, I always worry about what I’m missing and so it is hard to balance, but every day I try to do the best I can, wherever I am. Sadly, though, I do feel guilty.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received from a mentor?

Madeleine Albright wasn’t a mentor to me, but one of her most famous quotes mirrors advice I now live by: ‘There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’ I go out of my way to stop and help women who ask me. And it happens a lot! Harvard undergrads, interns, wives of friends and colleagues, coworkers, you name it. Life isn’t a zero sum game. It only takes a few minutes to help someone else with advice, a phone call, or a connection. And though this isn’t the motivation, you would be shocked at the dividends that come from paying it forward. When my book Diary of a Stage Mother’s Daughter came out, I was floored and touched by the women who reached out and said, “I’ll host a party, a chat, have you on my show, tweet about it, tell my friends, tell my book club.” It was staggering and emotional. I know very powerful women who go out of their way NOT to help others, and I think that sour spirit catches up with you. It’s not a competition. We can all rise together.

You obviously have an enormously stressful life right now. How do you handle the pressure?

I try to take time out to enjoy the individual moments. I used to be the type of person who was laying in bed awake at night thinking about what I needed to do and what I hadn’t achieved and I think that’s part of being a very driven person, but I also think it’s unhealthy. I’ve evolved to the point now where I enjoy my family so much that I can actually stop and put things on hold now and take the time I need to really have fun in the moment – and that’s true both at work and at home. I think as driven career women we can be so focused on what needs to be done and what we can achieve next that we don’t take time to enjoy what we currently have.

Absolutely. Too many women learn that lesson too late in life. Did you discover the power of being present on your own or through a mentor?

Living in the moment is actually something I learned from looking internally at myself as well as examining a lot of other women that I admired professionally. I would look around and think: ‘Wow. She has more money, more success, more this, more that’. But what I quickly came to realize is that they weren’t necessarily happier. Looking around at overly ambitious people in journalism, hard-charging female CEOs, friends from Harvard, and people I encounter each day, I realize in my heart that so many are filled with anxiety rather than true happiness. And especially now that I’ve had kids of my own, I know that my biggest wish for them is not to have a pressured path to success. It’s for them to be happy – whatever that means for them. My job as their parent is to help them figure out what will make them happy, and I strive for that each and every day.

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