How does your 'inner aggression' usually manifest itself? What typically breaks your calm? If you are not comfortable posting about it here for any reason you can send me a private message and we can just chat about it.

I have learned to resolve many internal issues regarding anger, sudden outbursts over the most pointless things, things that I just laugh at now when they happen and I see my old self trying so hard to 'explode' over it... more like a memory of what I used to be like, that will never go away.

Learning a different perspective on my outlook on life helped. Having others there to support me (who were always there I just never really opened my eyes to it at first... stubborn, had to do it all by myself...). Being honest with myself about who I am, what I desired and why... what I felt I needed from life and other people and why.. these were the things that helped me understand and come to peace with myself and other people around me.

Now I can accept the world around me, not resist it, just accept, receive and blend with it... so yes, in that way, the principle of Aikido does fit with they way I practice my life and all of its interactions, not just on the mat.

(I find text can leave a lot to be desired in terms of getting the correct 'tone' across and often we tend to read more negativity into that 'tone' than the person ever intended.)

P.S. I used to get my back up over the alcohol issue as well. My father was an alcoholic (20 years sober now) and it broke up the family before he became sober. I love my father dearly and we talk almost every week over Skype as I live in a different country from my family. I always thought I would become like my father if I touched the stuff... well, turns out I was wrong and that I am lucky... I actually am a happy drunk but I use discipline and understand the 'choice' I make to enjoy a drink or not to.

I understand that your situation may be entirely different from my own in this regard and like my own father, I wholeheartedly commend you on your victory in developing the self control it took to achieve that. I am certain you can use the same self control to change the course of your life any way you choose... especially if you are just not so hard on yourself about the little things that 'seem' to not go your way at first. Perhaps you already are doing this.... I honestly do not know you so I cannot comment fairly... no harm intended.