Category Archives: Life at Home

Luckily, this is not a hormonal sickness, so I have yet to scream at any member of my family for being… insensitive… or something. (Although I did have a small tiff with my sister last night when she wouldn’t admit to having lost something VERY important – a phone charger. But that’s another story.)

And though I know that no one is to blame for my current state (we’re blaming allergies just so no one can be accused of infecting me), I still find myself wishing there was someone to help.

Currently, my sickness is really not that bad… incredibly frustrating, but not the worst I’ve been through. Still, wanting that certain someone to be there for me in my time of despair has lately been known to accompany these things. Can’t I just have some gorgeous man who will wrap me up in blankets and sing me to sleep or something? He doesn’t even have to be gorgeous… a Michael Cera type would most certainly suffice. The point is, sickness gives me an actual valid excuse to be needy. And admit to it. So I am.

God, I have so much homework and crap to do, Aqua Aerobics is tonight… I just want to SLEEP!

Okay… whew! It feels soooo good to complain sometimes!

Thanks for not metaphorically slapping me across the face!

(Not that you would, but it’s possible that I myself have a slight compulsion to greet whining with physical violence… kidding!)

“Have you talked to Evie yet?” My mom asked me as she drove me home from work. It was dark out, and the night was quiet.

“I haven’t seen her since…” I answered.

She wasn’t the only one who seemed anxious for this conversation. If I was remembering correctly, all three people I had told had asked me the same question in the last three days… as if I would have needed reminding to give them an update.

“Do you still think you’re going to tell her?” She asked, feigning indifference.

“Yah.” I said, already a little annoyed. “I don’t want to feel like I need to keep things from her.”

Silence

“Do you think it will make things weird?” She asked, turning on the blinker and exiting the freeway.

“Maybe. But I don’t think it will help to keep things hidden. I’m just going to tell her what happened so that at least she knows.”

More silence.

“Why, you don’t think I should tell her?” I asked, more for her sake than my own. I knew she wanted to say something, but was keeping quiet out of respect. It was getting old, fast.

“I just think it might make her feel weird.”

“Well… she told me before, so I think I should be able to do the same.”

We continued on in that general loop as the drive continued. Her, hinting that my confession might compromise my and Evie’s friendship; and me, talking about honesty and how I like to have things out in the open, even if doing so makes things a little uncomfortable.

Eventually, I capped the conversation off by saying something like: “I don’t think it’s worth it to keep things to yourself just so you can have a comfortable, fictitious friendship.”

And we were home.

Over the last few days, I had felt calm, relaxed. I had made it through the initial freak-out of the first two days, the ones that immediately followed my little “sexual revelation” and the worry and fear I had experienced seemed to be behind me. I had absorbed the shock, I had told everyone I felt compelled to tell – Suzy, my brother (through his reading of this blog) and my mom. I had worked it over in my mind until there was nothing new to contemplate, examining it from every angle, looking for anything I may have missed. By putting it aside, I had achieved a kind of distance I appreciated. I was able to stand apart from the situation, as an outsider, glancing back occasionally to wonder at its meaning.

Free of analyzation, I began to uncover truths that I had missed in my panicked state. I realized that, even though I had experienced an attraction to my female friend, I didn’t feel bi-sexual. The curious sexual excitement I had sometimes felt for other women – strangers – seemed to disappear as well. It was as if, through my concentration on this one event, I had thoroughly exhausted any curiosity I ever had about being with another woman. Which was strange, because I didn’t feel as though being with a woman would be anything to be ashamed of. I just had absolutely no desire to go there.

Still, I knew things could change. I hadn’t seen Evie for a while, and I didn’t pretend to know if my attraction would return when I did. So when my mom asked me whether or not I was going to tell her, I felt annoyed… closeted.

I was aware that this was not a topic my mother was completely comfortable with. No doubt the last two days since my confession had left her more than a little confused. If I were to decide to be with Evie, this discomfort would only grow. I knew that. But, for once, I didn’t want to talk about it.

Today is the first day in maybe two months that my room has been clean. My excuse? I share my room with my 17-year-old sister. Who has A LOT of clothes. And a closet, which she never uses.

I, on the other hand, wound up using half a closet in my parents room when I moved back and realized there was no longer any room for me in the old one. So yes, sometimes when I get home at night and can’t go into my parents’ room because my dad is sleeping, I plop my clothes on to the end of my bed… which later turns into a small pile which spills on to the floor.

But I think it’s perfectly acceptable… because I say so. (And that’s final!)

Anyway, in addition to having way too many clothes which she never puts away, my sister also (apparently) does not have enough clothes! Now, if anyone can understand the “I don’t have anything to wear!” complex, it is me… I just went shopping (again) at Forever 21 (because I don’t have any brights)… I simply am not thrilled with the part of this complex which seems to dictate that she borrow ALL of my clothes, EVERY day, and usually WITHOUT asking. Even more frustrating? The clothing-pile-deep understanding that while I am out busily feeding my shopping addiction, she is effectively using my lack of self control to save money. NOT FAIR. There is really no point to being the oldest. Seriously.

But whatever, I’m too old to whine (or something.)

In other news, Andrew Bird is releasing his new album on TUESDAY and I could not be more excited! I’m thinking of making it an all-me-on-my-own day… getting stuff done, exchanging a mistake for something awesome, getting lunch, coffee, etc, and OF COURSE picking up the CD at my favorite local record store. Yay!

As those of you who joined I Wish My Life Was a Musical! on Twenty Something Bloggers may have guessed, I am very much in love with musicals. So much so that my friend Alana and I have this long-standing wish to actually live in one!

So, In an attempt to make our lives more musical, I recently purchased this game

Right after buying this movie

(Yes, I’m a spend-head… don’t judge!)

Anyway, Me and my brother Drew (who is straight by the way, just in case this post confuses you) got home at around 6pm last night and started playing Abba SingStar on the PS3… and we didn’t stop playing it until 8. Needless to say, I love this game! Not only do you get to sing your ass off to all the Abba hits you know and love, but the music videos that play along with the songs are amazing. Outrageous costumes, makeup that looks like it’s melting under the not-so-perfect lighting, and absolutely hilarious choreography = Pure 70’s magic! There’s also a bit of 80’s and early 90’s in there, which doesn’t hurt.

There is, of course, one flaw in the magical world of SingStar; and that is – if you thought you could sing before, you won’t after playing this game! I am one of those people who loves to sing in and out of the shower, and most of the time I think I sound pretty good. Not amazingly fantastic and earth-shattering, but not horribly out-of-tune and pathetic either. Playing this game, though, makes me think maybe I am more of the latter. Somehow I always seem to conveniently forget this right before playing (we also have the 80’s SingStar), and the shock of it all can be a bit embarrassing. But then I recover and forget about the embarrassing part, and sooner or later I find myself being humiliated by my own lack of skill all over again! It’s the cycle of life, or something. (Alana was really excited to come over and play, until she got here and realized that Oh, right, this is a game where you have to sing in front of people!)

On another note, Gossip Girl is getting darker and darker. I just finished watching it on the DVR and let’s just say it was almost as depressing as last week’s! But seriously, I’ll be the first to tell you that I was thrilled with all the new plot-lines that came to light before the holiday break, and I still think it’s genius of the writers to give us a story we can actually break our hearts over – I just don’t know how much more of this I can take! Thank God for Dorota, she’s just the subtle kind of comedic relief I need!

When you work in retail, you will find that your definition of weekends is just not the same as it used to be. Today was a Saturday, and miraculously I did have the day off! (Not tomorrow though, I have to open the store at 9am on a Sunday – wooh!) So to celebrate, I had an amazing day of doing absolutely nothing, and it was fantastic!

Part one of the wonderful nothing was watching a movie with my brother Drew and mutual friend Alana. Now, it must be said that our version of watching movies involves a lot of talking and very little actual watching. It’s just one of the benefits of being at home and not at the movie theater (where people typically don’t appreciat that kind of behavior!) The movie of the day was “Mamma Mia!” and it was… perfect. For anyone who wants to be able to both mock and enjoy their movies, “Mamma Mia!” is the choice for you!

After that, we headed on down to Ulta, followed by Target, followed by Barnes and Noble, followed by home (the ultimate destination.) I bought a few things as late christmas presents to myself/rewards for doing so little shopping lately (wait…) The first item on my list was a new Con-Air Ionic Hair Dryer with a diffuser attatchment, for my poor, suffering hair. Next was a tried-and-true brand of Shampoo and Conditioner, also for the suffering hair. After that, “Mamma Mia!” on blu-ray (the copy we were watching earlier was sadly not mine to keep.) And to finnish the shopping extravaganza, a copy of New Moon for Edie-girl (we’re exchanging our christmas presents later.)

All in all, it was the perfect day for me and my tired-ass self. Here’s hoping I’m rested enough to wake up for work in the morning! Oh God, I think we’re out of coffee…

Hello and welcome! Or, as my good friend J.D. would say, “Greetings and Salutations!” This is my first official blog (in the sense that I am actually opening it up for other people to read) and I sincerely hope that you will like it. I also sincerely hope that I can manage to keep this up… it’s possible that I will run out of things to say much quicker than one would think humanly probable… also possible that I will become completely absorbed in something else and forget all about this little self-inflicted responsibility. But such is life, so we digress…

This year has been hectic enough for the world, I think we can all agree, so for my part I have been maintaining a relatively scandal-free existence. I think it helps. For instance, instead of spending campaign money on clothing, I went shopping with my own credit card; rather than invite certain people to bribe me for a seat in the senate, I sat on my couch and watched Gossip Girl… I’m not saying that my alternatives are going to solve all the problems in the world, just that I am very selflessly providing some much needed balance to the world we all live in. I am not asking to be rewarded. I do it for you. You can thank me later.

In keeping with my particular brand of peace-keeping, I spent today doing absolutely nothing. (And I didn’t even break a sweat!) That’s right. I had originally planned to go to coffee with an old friend this afternoon (she is visiting from out-of-town), catch up (we had been a strange version of besties in high school) and wade through the impending awkwardness (our brief phone call left much to be desired in terms of any actual enthusiasm for a meeting), but as she never called me back I instead opted for a viewing of Gilmore Girl’s rerun, “the Breakup, Part 2.” Not exactly a valid form of social interaction, but whatever, it works.

Part two of my Thursday was supposed to be a sleep-over with best-friend-in-training, Edie-girl. We were going to watch movies and make Christmas cookies, and be our usual bratty selves, but she decided to go far away and be unavailable instead. Of course I do forgive her, firstly because she would get a complex if I didn’t; and second because we are only moving it to Sunday – no biggie. And really, a good thing, because now I get to be here with you. And really, it was about time I started this thing right.

Ah, who am I kidding, this BLOWS!

I hope you have enjoyed this edition of the Annual Weirdo Pity-Party, and now it is time for me to go trim the tree!