I don't think I implied that someone questioning the truth is uncaring. I just think it is scary to risk being outwardly suspicious and calling her a liar etc if she's being truthful and her story is really what she says. I have no problem with questioning the truth or wondering, thinking that it's awful if it's not true. But I think those kinds of thoughts should be kept under the bed for a while longer until we know more. The risk of fall out is too great. That's all.

I don't think it's any more scary than supporting someone by enabling their actions. There were a few "OK be safe, sometimes you have to do what you have to do" in the prostitution bit. That's not any more OK than calling someone a liar. Basically all any one should be doing is saying "See a mental health professional." and referring the post to facilities and resources and expressing wishes for the best. Not supporting the current tales, because if they are somehow true that's pretty dangerous too.

In this circumstance I'm pretty sure none of this is being done out of malice on OP's part. I booted a chick from a group who was found to be lying about so many things, and the proof was found. I don't think she was lying to hurt any one, but it hurts those emotionally invested in dogs that never existed and stories that never happened. We can't offer her any actual help and she couldn't offer us the truth for whatever reason. I didn't want to enable her any more, and I didn't want people on any off chance get invested again.

And as far removed as I was from her because I figured out she was not telling the truth long before, it still really pissed me off to have spent any time I did talking to her and offering ideas or support.

That might be true of you but cannot be said of all members here at Chaz. Most notably Romy who has the dog in her home, but I know others were involved with that, and I have also seen multiple members offer further assistance, which may or may not have been given/accepted. But in this post I will only further address Romy since she has pretty clearly given the most as far as something you can measure here.

However, unless things have been said that I am not privy to (which I admit is likely because I am honestly trying to stay out of this dramafest) Romy is not complaining about housing the dog. She did so willingly and out of the goodness of her heart, which having been here for seven years I know is not out of character for Romy - I have seen her offer help and assistance to many Chazzers multiple times.

I don't claim to know how Romy would feel if it turned out this is nothing but a pack of lies and she was being taken advantage of. I do, however, understand why people are reasonably concerned that Romy IS being taken advantage of... even if, should the worst be true, Romy would simply say "I opened my heart and my home to somebody I believed needed help and I have no regrets." God knows many of us are protective and react more strongly in defense of another person than even ourselves - I am one of those. Cross me, well that's not good for you - but cross someone I care for, and I will destroy you.

So I think that is what you have here. People who are skeptical and worried that Romy is being taken advantage of, even if Romy herself does not have the same concern. Because members HAVE been hurt and taken advantage of here... many many people had their hearts broken over what happened to Reggin, so though one might claim "I'm only giving my love and support and that is free," it certainly wasn't free for those who were highly emotionally invested in a dog. And we all love dogs here, myself included, but what's happening here is people being highly emotionally invested in a PERSON. And I cannot imagine how hurt many people would be should this turn out to not be true.

IMO that is why people are skeptical... and why things are turning a bit harsh.

__________________"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776

"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."

FWIW I don't think it's bad that people are opening their hearts (or their homes.) Some people give money to the homeless man on the street corner, risking that he may go spend it on drugs or alcohol just as easily as he might spend it on food, because they believe the best of people and believe in helping people. As typical for me, I see merit to both sides of this. I agree that if she is truly suicidal this is a case of playing with fire. I also agree that it appears something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
I don't know the right answer, but I don't think fighting with each OTHER is the right answer.

FWIW I don't think it's bad that people are opening their hearts (or their homes.) Some people give money to the homeless man on the street corner, risking that he may go spend it on drugs or alcohol just as easily as he might spend it on food, because they believe the best of people and believe in helping people. As typical for me, I see merit to both sides of this. I agree that if she is truly suicidal this is a case of playing with fire. I also agree that it appears something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
I don't know the right answer, but I don't think fighting with each OTHER is the right answer.

Just finished reading the thread, and was going to post this, but less eloquently.

The thread's getting a bit out of hand in places, but I don't think it's wrong for people to be skeptical. Being skeptical isn't a torch-wave.

FWIW I don't think it's bad that people are opening their hearts (or their homes.) Some people give money to the homeless man on the street corner, risking that he may go spend it on drugs or alcohol just as easily as he might spend it on food, because they believe the best of people and believe in helping people. As typical for me, I see merit to both sides of this. I agree that if she is truly suicidal this is a case of playing with fire. I also agree that it appears something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
I don't know the right answer, but I don't think fighting with each OTHER is the right answer.

Yeah that. I've been trying to think of what to say in all these threads and I'm just really not sure what I believe or say.

I don't think it's wrong to be skeptical either. In fact, I have thoughts popping into my head from time to time. But I do think it's important to watch how we express that skepticism. I'd rather err on the side of caution until and unless we know, which we may never.

__________________"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776

"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."

I don't think it's wrong to be skeptical either. In fact, I have thoughts popping into my head from time to time. But I do think it's important to watch how we express that skepticism. I'd rather err on the side of caution until and unless we know, which we may never.

Thank you, Dober.

__________________In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. ~Buddha

Stupid is the most notoriously incurable and contagious disease known to mankind. If you find yourself in close proximity to someone infected with stupid, walk away as soon as said infection is noted.

There are few things more nauseating than pure obedience. ~ Kvothe

***8206;"silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation."
— Rumi
Be a god. Know when to shut up.

I don't think it's wrong to be skeptical either. In fact, I have thoughts popping into my head from time to time. But I do think it's important to watch how we express that skepticism. I'd rather err on the side of caution until and unless we know, which we may never.

This^ Spamming every thread with what chapter or whatever is getting old starting crap in a facebook thread is getting old. (not the person who started the thread btw) Everyone is claiming worry about Romy but has anyone offered to help her with the dog?