Life Experiences of People

Category: Life

We’re the generation that doesn’t want relationshipsWe want a second cup of coffee in our Instagram’s of lazy Saturday mornings,We want a second pair of shoes in the artsy pictures we take of our feet,We want that Facebook official relationship that everyone can like and comment on,

We want that post that wins relationship goals,We want that date for Sunday morning brunch,someone to drown our sorrows for the Monday blues.We want that Taco Tuesday partner,someone to text us “Good morning” on a Wednesday.We want a +1 for all the weddings we keep getting invited to.

How did they do it? How did they find their happily ever after?But we are the generation, that doesn’t want a relationship.We swipe left in the hopes of finding the right one,we try to special order our soul mates like we do on Postmates.We read “5 Ways to To Know He’s Into You” and “7 Ways She Will Fall For You”,thinking we can upcycle a person into a relationship like a Pinterest project.We invest more time into our Tinder profilesthan we do with our personalities,yet we are the one who don’t want a relationship.We talk and we text.We snapchat and we sext.We hang out and we happy hour.We go get coffee and grab a beer.Anything to avoid an actual date.We private message to meet up,small talk for an houronly to return homeand then small talk via text.We forgo any chance of achieving real connection by mutually playing games with no winner,The only thing we end up winning is most likely to be alone.

We want the facade of a relationship without the work of a relationship,We want that hand holding without the eye contact.We want the teasing without the serious conversations.We want the pretty promise without the actual commitmentWe want to celebrate the anniversaries without the 365 days that lead up to them.We want the happily ever after without the effort in the here and nowWe want to have deep connections but still keep things shallow.We want that World Series kind of love without willing to go to bat.We want someone to hold our hands, but we don’t want to put the power to hurt us in their hands.We want to be swept off our feet but at the same time remaining safely, independently standing on our own.We want to keep chasing love, but we don’t actually want to fall into it.We don’t want relationships, we want friends with benefits,We want Netflix & Chill and nudes on Tinder.We want everything that will give us the illusion of a relationship without an actual relationship.We want the rewards with no risk,we want the payout with no cost.We want to connect enough but not too much,we want to commit a little but not a lot.

We take it slow, we see where it goes,we don’t want to label things, we just go with the flow.We keep one foot out of the door, we keep one eye open,we keep people at arms length, toying with their emotionsbut mostly toying with our own.When things get too close to being realwe run, we hide, we leave,we say to ourselves “there’s more fish in the sea”.We want that downloadable person that’s a perfect fit,just like an app you can update whenever there’s a hitch,compartmentalized into a folder that we can deletewhen we have no more need for it.

We don’t want to unpack our baggage,or worse help someone else unpack theirsWe hide everything behind an Instagram filter,we chose a Netflix show over a real conversation.We feel entitled to love like we feel entitled to full-time jobs our of college.

We want a placeholder not a person,we want a warm body not a partner.We want someone to eat withwhile we scroll through our news feed.

See, what we need to recognize is thatthe things we truly want,the things that are deeply meaningful,the things that are genuinely fulfilling,all require patience.They all require work.They all require energy.

See, the challenge is we all want to be with someone who makes us happy,when what we need to do is be someone who makes us happy.

We sit with our friends discussing the rulesbut no one even knows what game we’re trying to playbecause the problem with our generationnot wanting relationships is that –at the end of the day, we actually do.

Like this:

She calls her friend to tell about the recent on/offs in her life. She has been talking to a guy lately and she likes him a lot. They met at a matrimonial site and happen to visit at a meeting with parents. It all went fine but the guys mother didn’t like the girl. So they decided to call it off. However for whatever reason, the boy was in touch with her and they happened to have lot of talks. They met few times.

He had spoken to his mother a lot of times, however she never agreed. She didn’t like the looks of the girl. For quite some times things were grey and eventually their discussions were cut short. They were not talking anymore. The girl was sad and confused. She wanted him. She liked him very much but his Mom was never to approve.

She was looking for other guys on her parents orders but she never liked any. She was always looking for him in every guy she met. As she was not talking to him much, it made her sad and weak. She knew it was not working and there was nothing that made her feel hopeful. She decided to tone down her emotions for him. She started to go along in her life and think less about him. She decided to move on or make an attempt to move on.

And then after few weeks, he calls her and they talk. Every time she talks with him, she knows that she is the weak one. She wants him in her life. He made her feel special. He told her that he was making an attempt to convince his mother and meanwhile if she found someone else, she was free to choose so.

The only question that kept her awake all night was –

Should she wait for him or stick to her decision of moving on and forgetting him from her life?