Those on their 3rd

I feel like I can't relate with this baby the way I did with my first. Granted we are still early on and I have not felt kicks or anything, but I just feel so different than with my first. I talked to the first baby daily and was so excited. Is that normal going from your first to second? I have decided that I don't want visitors the first day at the hospital (another c section, problems with breastfeeding first, fevers,etc). However, then I think, "Well, I'm going to have to let MIL (mother-in-law) come because I need to see my daughter!" To say I am obsessed might be an understatement lol but I just feel like I will always love my first more. Does it get better/easier as time goes on? P.s. please know that I would be devastated if anything happened to this baby...just looking for some input!

Comments (11)

New is always exciting so of course the first pregnancy is different from others. I am on my third and I'm just trying to get through this. It's a relatively easy pregnancy but I just want it to be over so I can have my baby. Things will change once baby is here. Fear not you won't love one more than other. I'm not gonna lie I love my kids equally but I always like one more than the other, typically the one that is not smashing donuts on the floor and back talking me lol.

I also don't feel like I'm bonding. Maybe it's because I don't know the gender yet. I hate gender neutral things so whenever I look at baby things to buy (shopping is usually how I get excited) I just hate everything. With my daughter I knew she was a girl immediately, Idk how I knew, but I had no doubts at all. With my son I found out the gender about a week after I found out I was pregnant. I'm sure I'll start feeling closer as I find out the gender and have a name to call it and feeling those kicks. Try not to worry! We've got plenty of time still =)

I am pregnancy with my third. I was the same when I was expecting my second. I definitely started to bond with her more when I got a belly and could feel her moving. Ods had never stayed the night away from me (he was almost 3 when she was born). I remember being afraid that I would feel like I was abandoning my son to take care of this other baby while I was in the hospital. But the moment she was born she was just as much a part of our family and loved just as much as our first born. Now that I'm pregnant with my third, it is hard to feel like it's real. I can't wait to have a belly and feel this baby move so I can give him/her the attention that he/she deserves. I am so busy with my two littles that I don't get time to sit and focus on the one I'm expecting.

Very normal. This is my 3rd and I totally feel the same way. While I love and worry about this baby and would be devestated if something happened, I don't feel bonded to it at all like I did with my second. (My first is a whole different story because it was unplanned at 16). I think once I can feel it move and have my belly and start preparing for baby, that will change.

Just remember that you are busier then with your first pregnancy. I bonded a lot with my second son after he was born because I breast fed. DH (dear husband) would have to take ODS and I would be with the baby. It was really great for me to be able to spend that one on one time bonding with him. Now, I live their uniqueness. Both boys have such, special and unique qualities about them that make them so irreplaceable. It is true that you may like the one causing the least damage a little bit more at that moment, but that changes the next minute! Lol

I didn't feel as excited with my 2nd until she was born. I'm slightly more excited this time but I'm in a great relationship now with a fanfuckingtastic (yes he's so wonderful a "fucking" is required) man. He is so excited for his first it's awesome!

I felt the same way with my second. My daughter was and still is my world. I felt like I was cheating on her. Once I got a belly and felt the baby move I started to bond. Then we found out it was a boy and I was scared cause I didn't know the first thing about boys. As soon as he was born my heart just grew and the bond was instant and he's a total mommys boy. Now that #3 is on the way I feel like I'm cheating my son out of being the baby, they will only be 14 months apart. Plus I don't feel pregnant. I think it's cause I'm so busy with my other 2. It's amazing the instant love you just feel.

This is completely normal. I'm on my 6th. I find I bond more with my babies in those first few days and weeks after delivery than I do during pregnancy. My love for my first is different than for my other children. At the same time, my love for each of them is different than the others.

With my first I was super excited and yet it still took a few weeks after she was born for it to really sink in that she was mine. When I was pregnant the second time I had a hard time even remembering how far along I was. When my son was born it took a lot longer to feel like he was mine and on top of that I felt like I was holding a baby while taking care bod my daughter rather than being there for both my kids. My son is now two and a half and I couldn't even imagine not having a deep feeling of love for the both of them. I feel it gets easier when everyone gets used to each other and when everyone starts living in sync. With this pregnancy i feel like life via so chaotic that the eye in the storm is me being able to think about being pregnant.

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