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Nostalgia Sucks: 5 Movies You Loved As A Kid (That Are Actually Terrible)

Nostalgia is a powerful force of human nature. It can transform those distant, often forgotten sections of life into warm and fuzzy periods of happiness that you can’t help but yearn for as you make the inevitable trip towards the grave. Which means that seemingly mundane events – like being bathed gently by your mother in an iron tub, or that time you got chased by your weird neighbour because you climbed into his garden to fetch your ball – morph into memories that ring meaningfully with the innocent, care-free joys of youth.

Same goes for all those movies you watched endlessly as a kid. Over and over again these entertainment “classics” would make their way out of their dog-eared cases and into your VHS player. There, you’d sit, wide-eyed, mesmerized by the experience. You wouldn’t judge the cinematography or the blunt exposition or the bad acting because you were 10-years-old and that would be insane. You liked the colors and the sense of adventure and the witty talking animals.

But kids are dumb, and that’s why their opinions on absolutely anything should be ignored throughly. Take these movies – all considered the pinnacle of entertainment for somebody without pubic hair – but utterly failing in most aspects that need unite to make a quality motion picture. In advance, major apologies for this: it’s necessary that one person be the depressing, soul-destroying voice of adulthood. I understand, of course, that if you are affected nostalgically by any of these movies, you’re probably not going to agree with a single word written here. But don’t take my word for it (why should you?): see what the critics said at the time. They think most of these movies suck, too.