An Arab-American woman sees signs of hope.

May 31, 2009

Four weeks ago I had a literary and spiritual crisis. I had just read a profoundly beautiful work of fiction that made me depressed about the future of humanity. The book is a masterpiece, and I felt there was no way I could write a story so well, nor could I stand to create a work that examined the cruelest impulses of human beings in such detail.

Upon finishing the book, I threw it on the bed and said aloud: I give up.

What did I mean? Give up on human beings. Give up trying to write fiction. What was the point? So many masterful writers describe war, poverty and suffering with such power (and many of them are friends or teachers of mine). I could not bear to write into such dark territory.

Furthermore, if the vision of human life I read in the book was true, then we're all screwed. What's the use of writing about signs of hope in the blog, even?

I called my friend Carolina De Robertis, who is a fiction writer of the highest caliber, and who is also wise in the ways of the soul. She came right over with her new baby and a photocopy of an article from The Sun Magazine:

It's an interview with researcher Barbara Fredrickson of the University of North Carolina, who studies emotions and positive psychology. Dr. Fredrickson has developed a theory that positive emotions lead to novel, expansive, or exploratory behavior. One paragraph describes what I meant to do when I started this blog five years ago:

"Negative experiences can demand our attention so much that it takes self-discipline, willpower, and practice not to focus solely on them, and to look at all that's positive in our situations, as well. Negativity doesn't always feel like a choice; it feels like it just lands on you, and you have to deal with it. Positive emotions, I think, are more of a choice."

The interviewer asked "Isn't focusing on positive emotions a luxury available to only those who can afford it? What about people who are mired in conflict, or poverty, or awful social conditions?"

That has been my conundrum in this blog since the beginning. If I keep posting signs of hope while the world goes to hell, am I not just flaunting my own privilege and fortune? Perhaps I am even collaborating with evildoers if I chirp about kite-flying and school-painting while the forces of oppression commit great crimes, out of the way of the cameras.

Here is Fredrickson's answer:

"Positive emotions are available to everybody." Research conducted on the lives of slum-dwellers and prostitutes around the world suggests that "positive emotions have less to do with material resources than we might think; it's really about your attitude and approach to your circumstances.... "We think that having certain illnesses or physical limitations must be terrible all the time. But...you find that (people in extreme circumstances) still feel good when they are with their friends or families.... It's in the ordinary transactions of life that positive emotions grow."

My own experiences bear this out. I have had more than the usual share of trouble in the last eight years: illness, war, many deaths in the family in rapid succession. And yet even during chemo, even now with the shadow of cancer always hanging over me, I have moments, hours, days of great joy. Fredrickson also says,

"...Researchers have found some stunning correlations between expressing more positive emotions and living longer. My role is to ask, How does that happen? How do you go from experiencing these pleasant momentary states to living longer — perhaps even ten years longer?"

While she works on the research, I am going ahead with applying the theory. Yes the world is full of trouble. The Buddha famously said that all life is full of suffering. Our job while here is to refuse to be tossed away by the miseries. Our job is to keep breathing and be awake to the glory: the beauty: the power and joy of each moment of this life.

So I will continue to post signs of hope, and instructions for dinner, in order to keep myself and perhaps the rest of you going a little while longer.

April 30, 2009

Look I don't agree with Obama on everything; in fact, he's too centrist and cautious for my political taste. But I like his style. He's a skinny guy with a funny name, just like my own father, just like I was (I'm no longer skinny).

I love this picture of Obama on the roof with the solar panels. I spent a lot of time in childhood on roofs, or craning my neck at bridges and cathedrals, with my father, a civil engineer. Dad loved solar power, too. He worked on the structure of the solar array for NASA's space station as a research project while he was a professor at NC A&T State University.

October 28, 2007

The first time around with breast cancer I decided not to bother with eating a lot of hippie food. I was going to eat a normal, recommended diet and forgo the quinoa, the seaweed, and other strange things you eat a lot of if you are freaked out about cancer. I did check with my doctors who said that 3-5 glasses of wine per week were safe - no more - so I kept to that number. But I did not cut out red meat, or dairy, or sugar, or white flour, or fried foods. I tried to eat the really bad stuff sparingly but I ate mostly whatever I wanted.

This time around I am ready to follow best practices with food. The metastasis is on my liver so my digestion had become poor anyway. As soon as I heard there was a possibility of a problem on my liver, I went off coffee, sugar, meat, cream and alcohol.

I will probably never drink alcohol again...The evidence on breast cancer and alcohol is becoming stronger, and in my situation I don't need to take chances. Anyway, my poor liver can't handle it right now, and when it gets better (it WILL get better - the meds are shrinking the tumors) I would be a fool to stress the liver again for any reason.

UCSF, a National Institutes of Health cancer research hospital where I get my treatment, publishes a series of booklets on nutrition and specific cancers. I brought home the breast cancer and nutrition handbook last week, and found plenty of things I didn't know.

How about them pomegranates? Research shows that pomegranates contain a compound that eats breast cancer cells. The most powerful form of it is the oil from seed, but you get the effects from eating the fruit or drinking the juice, too. We have great pomegranates here in California (people grow them in their yards) and I have been eating them this month; I also take about 500 mg of the seed oil daily.

Cruciferous vegetables: I knew they were good for you, and I ate broccoli pretty regularly before my diagnosis - hey, even my kids eat broccoli. But I didn't realize how important cabbage is. Its cancer-fighting properties are stronger when it's raw or lightly cooked; it's extra powerful when it has been fermented. I eat sauerkraut almost every day now, and have gone through two jars of Korean kimchee (spicy fermented cabbage) in the last month.

Eat much less red meat (I eat none at all now). Don't eat grilled foods - those delectable charred bits are full of carcinogens. Eat cold water fish, especially sardines and anchovies and other such fish low on the food chain. Of course you knew you should eat whole grains and plenty of fresh produce.

Now if you want to add a little broccoli to your menus, why don't you just steam the florets lightly and dress with lemon juice, olive oil and salt? My hubbie also likes it with parmesan and olive oil.

In Lebanon people eat cauliflower sauteed and dressed with lemon or with a tahini sauce - really tasty. A Beiruti friend who is a fabulous cook served us cauliflower mixed with diced, sauteed potatoes and dressed with fresh coriander, lemon and olive oil. Oh man was that good...

Quinoa is actually pretty tasty, you know. Just rinse it in a lot of water, repeating about four times. The saponin makes it taste bitter so you can't just rinse in a little water - flood those grains. Then cook as for white rice - water to quinoa ratio is 2:1; salt; a fat like olive oil or butter; bring to a boil then simmer on low for twenty minutes. Turn off flame and let stand for five minutes, fluff and serve. It's like South American couscous but much higher protein, with a lightly nutty flavor.

Eating healthy food is a pleasure if you just take the trouble to cook it well. Today my friend made a vegetarian feast for a party, the highlight of which was a raw spinach salad with pomegranate seeds, persimmon chunks, and pecans. Yum...

Cookbooks

Deborah Madison: Vegetarian Cooking for EveryoneIndispensable - I use it all the time, and give it as presents to brides, young people starting out, etc. Not for vegetarians only - hence the title - a great resource for anybody wanting delicious recipes for vegetables, grains and legumes. Great sauces and salads, too.