Submissions

Thursday, December 3, 2015

My name is Gail Henry and I have an incredibly successful journey to share.

I've spent my entire life without my father, without a name, or even a clue to his identity. My mother refused to tell me anything.

My journey began with an old notepad, I would make little notes of the things I heard or clues my aunts would give when I asked questions. My mother became pregnant with me in the spring of 1955. At the time she was living with her sister whose husband was stationed in El Paso, Texas.

Two and a half years ago I submitted my DNA through 23andMe.I also uploaded my DNA data to Gedmatch and FTDNA. I was also able to get my mother to test. I knew her test would help me find my father; each time I would get a match, I would check her DNA match list to see if they matched her as well. If the match was unique to me, I would add them to my "Bio Dad" tree, built from the family trees of my matches. This tree was exclusive to my suspected paternal matches. I have loved genealogy for years, and along my journey I have been able to talk to so many people and even help some.

On Father’s Day weekend I received a message from a new DNA match, Martha - she was looking to connect with family. I checked my match list and got quite a surprise! She was a 1st/2nd cousin! I quickly checked my Mom's list, and no match! I knew my day had finally come. I knew I was going to finally know. With the great help of my dear friend Bernadette Schneider Such, we spent two weeks pounding out a tree for Martha that went five generations back, including all siblings and their spouses. We knew we were close. However, I was still wandering around the tree trying to find anyone who was in Texas at that time. I felt overwhelmed and finally posted my story on the DNA Detectives Facebook page.

I had such an overwhelming response from the members and then my angel Christa Stalcup stepped up to the plate! Oh my gosh she was amazing! She was a level head and lead me in the right direction. I narrowed Martha's family down to six on the Ward side and two on the Adcock side. I wrote notes on each one and started with Classmates looking at pictures, then I worked to find military records as I was still going off my assumption of being conceived on an El Paso military base. Through her research, Christa was able to tell me that someone on the Ward side would be my father. I was able to narrow it down to two possibilities, Gayle Ward (how ironic would that be to have my name be the same as my bio fathers name!) and his cousin Jerry Douglas Ward. I found all of Gayle’s pictures, but when I pulled Jerry Ward's pictures I almost fell on the floor. THERE WAS MY DAD. I knew him the second I saw his pictures.

Gail's Biological Father, Jerry Ward

It was the most unbelievable feeling. To be 59 years old, so many years of wanting and needing to know, and there he was. Jerry Douglas Ward of Stillwater, Oklahoma was born in 1935 and served in the military May 21, 1954 through May 18, 1956. I never in my life dreamed I would be successful, but it finally happened with the direction Christa provided.

Unfortunately, Jerry died in 2000, but he had two daughters; two sisters, now what?!? I waited a few days to calm down and try to think through what I wanted to do next. After a few days had passed, I decided I had waited so many years, I was just going to go for it and see what happens. I wrote a letter from the heart to Julie and Kari through Facebook messenger, paying the $1 to put it in their inbox.

The response still makes me cry. My first response was from Kari who said, "welcome sister." Julie's message followed and said the same thing. All I could think was, "Oh my gosh is this true!?! YES!" They were equally stunned to see pictures of me, their older sister, with looks so similar to theirs. They were even more stunned to see my sons, their nephews, who look SO MUCH like their Dad. My Dad. OMG I have a dad!

Gail's two sons

To finally confirm all of the research, my sisters tested their DNA with 23andMe as well, and just as expected, I'm Jerry Wards daughter!

Gail's 23andMe results confirming she had found her paternal half-sisters, Julie and Kari

I went to Tulsa on September 23rdand met my sisters. It was amazing and overwhelming at the same time. The total acceptance by them, their beautiful mother Karen Sanders Ward and all of the cousins reminded me, IT WAS WORTH THE JOURNEY!!

How I wish I could have seen Jerry, or had the chance to speak to him, but I have two sisters and I love them already. My family is thrilled! I haven't told my mother and I may not. I don't know that she is entitled to this victory, something that could have been avoided with simply telling the truth. For those still searching, DON'T STOP! It's worth the journey. If I can do it with no name and minimal matches for so long, anyone can.

I was like you Kalani and read the success stories hoping I would one day have mine and WOW! It happened. If you had told me 6 months ago I would have been skeptical. One 2nd cousin test opened the door. I can't tell you how this has changed my life. If i can do it, so can you!

I was skeptical too after awhile & when my mom told me 11 mos after she volunteered to get DNA tested that she was actually adopted, which explained everything that I found wrong with the genealogy. It didn't add up. But 11 mos. after that I did find my mother's biological parents and it wasn't until last October that I actually made contact with the family, months after I found out. I had to wait for the right time. So I went to witness my mother reunited with at least one of the remaining siblings she has still alive on Nov. 1st. It was wonderful. Then I read your story and all the emotions came back for me. I'm so happy that everything worked out for all of us!

I did tell her and showed her his picture and she said "well i don't remember him so I don't know what to say to you". She prefers it that way. :-) sad huh! but she knows and I won't bring it up to her again. No need as I know the truth.

Thank you so much for sharing. I love also having such a wonderful story. Our lives are changed forever. Wish we could talk. I've never gotten to speak to anyone who feels like I do from such a precious gift we've been given.

Deidre, Congratulations on your success! You can join our DNA Detectives FB page to read stories like Gail's every day and share your story with others who have similar experiences. We would love to have you! https://www.facebook.com/groups/DNADetectives/ - CeCe

Deidre-I think you should share your story! I joined DNA Detectives on FB and would read every post looking for information that might help me on my journey. Share your story so others know they too can have your success! We are very fortunate!

Thanks for sharing...Your story is so much like mine...I am now hopeful for answers where I had thought that since my mother wouldn't share I was at a dead end. At 50 I did a DNA test with a sibling to confirm a long time suspicion that we may indeed be 1/2 siblings. After the results of that test I ask my mother again with that proof to back it up. She still denied (briefly) but states she has no idea...so that's where I was till I found this site!

I love hearing of reunions that turn out like this. I didn’t find out who my biological mother was until I was about 35. I’m now 54. To my knowledge she never told anyone who my bio father was. I did receive a letter from my bio grandmother after my bio mother passed away. In that letter she told me when she asked who he was she was only told that not everyone came back from Vietnam. I was in a very serious car accident in March of 2000 & my bio mother passed in fall the same year. As a result, I waited too long to try to call my grandmother only to find she had already passed. Her only brother is also deceased. I have met 2 of my great aunts as well as a couple of 2nd cousins on her side. I have no idea whether there’s even a remote possibility of ever learning who he was since I assume from what my grandmother was told, he is most likely deceased too. It was definitely wonderful to meet the relatives I was able to when I did. As far as I know, no one besides her mother knew I existed. I longed to find info for so long but it was too late when I did. Anyone searching now, please don’t wait. If you learn anything. Follow up on it as soon as you can before it’s too late for you too.

Hi Kara, It is not too late for you! There is absolutely a good chance of discovering his identity. You carry 50% of him with you always and the answer to who he is lies within your own DNA. Have you tested at AncestryDNA yet? Please join my DNA Detectives Facebook group for guidance on your search. https://www.facebook.com/groups/DNADetectives/

Thank you for responding. I did test with ancestry several years ago & my daughter bought me a kit from 23 & me this past mother’s day/birthday. I’ve done that test as well. I don’t understand how to interpret the results though. I’m also slow on the computer because of a hand injury from the wreck. I have a lot of info on my bio mother’s side because one of her 1st cousins has done a good bit of research. He reached out to me & we talk on the phone but haven’t met in person yet as he’s in another state. We’re working on that now. I will join your group and maybe I can get some insight through it. I’ve seen several shows you worked with & you’re doing great things. Again thank you for your response.