A guy who asked to go only by his initials, GL, wrote to me, “Read first two stories. Will have wet dreams for months!”

No word if he’s read the last one yet, but if so – I hope you enjoy it just as much, GL!

I’m preparing my new ebook now. It will be a non-consensual story with all sorts of nasty things – incest, watersports, bondage, a gangbang, and more. I’ll announce it here when it’s ready to buy from Smashwords.

In the meantime, if you like my stories, feel free to drop me a line here, or via email: GraceMcConachie [at] gmail [dot] com.

I’ve decided to bundle together some of my erotica to sell on Smashwords. I’m not sure how many short stories will be in each book, but somewhere between three and five. I plan to group them by theme. Since Halloween has just passed I’ve decided my first book will be full of werewolf stories. This is not Little Red Riding Hood stuff. 😉

I’ll post here once that first book is available. Hopefully in a week or so, once I’ve polished it and made sure it works on my ereader.

How many of you read erotica on your ereaders? Do you like singles stories or collections?

I know, I know. Morons are everywhere on the Internet. But every now and then I meet another one and I am astounded once again at the absolute stupidity and outright assholeish entitlement that some men exhibit. Take for example, a conversation that I had a few minutes ago on Second Life.

For some background, I met this person two days ago, while I was out dancing with another man. Said person landed on us then immediately started peppering me with questions and asked me to friend him. Against my better judgment, I said yes.

Last night he said hi to me and wanted to know if I wanted to get together. I said that I was busy. This was entirely true. I was sitting with my SL roommate talking and was not in the mood to entertain some new guy.

Then tonight he comes back. The first name of the Troglodite in question has been removed because I’m a nice person.

[18:22] Troglodite: hi[18:23] Grace: Hi there.[18:23] Troglodite: what’s new?[18:23] Grace: Nothing much. What about you?[18:24] Troglodite: not much. would you like to get together?[18:26] Tngo Troglodite: I get it.[18:26] Tngo Troglodite: never mind.[18:26] Grace: I can’t at the moment. I’m with my boyfriend.[18:26] Troglodite: right. I will unfriend you. you aren’t interested. no need to keep trying[18:27] Grace: Well, you did interrupt my date to talk to me the first time, which I found kind of tactless.[18:27] Troglodite: fine.[18:28] Troglodite: no problem. I’m not the only tactless one here.[18:28] Troglodite: bye[18:28] Grace: lol[18:31] Troglodite: you’re muted

If you look at the time stamps, you’ll notice that only two minutes went by between “would you like to get together?” and “I get it.”

I was like, “What the fuck? Seriously dude? I don’t respond within two minutes and you freak out?” And how am I tactless? I am not the one who interrupted someone else’s date. I’m not the one who assumed a stranger would want to immediately drop everything she’s doing to come talk to me.

Troglodite, I hope you read this, mainly so I can tell you that you’re a fucking idiot and not worth a pile of dog shit.

In the 16 years that I’ve been on the Internet, I’ve been in dozens of intimate relationships. Nearly every one of them was more emotionally and intellectually satisfying than any real life relationship I’ve ever had, including my two RL marriages.

How can this be, you might ask?

A study done at Loyola Marymount University last year by psychology professors Richard Gilbert and Nora Murphy, and graduate student researchers Monique Gonzalez and M. Clementina Ávalos found that relationships in virtual worlds such as Second Life are more satisfying than real-life relationships.

Study participants reported that their levels of sexual satisfaction were similar in SL and RL with 43 percent more satisfied in SL and 42 percent more satisfied in RL.

Second Life users rated their online relationship better than their RL relationships in five different categories of marital satisfaction.

Half of users said they could communicate more openly with their SL partner than their RL partner.

More than a third said they have a “stronger connection” with their SL partner.

These findings are not surprising to me at all.

The researchers pointed out several factors that might have led to these findings.

shorter relationships

fewer opportunities for arguments or miscommunication than in real life

the physical attractiveness of the avatars, which can look like anything you (or your partner) desires

While all those things are important, there are several other factors they didn’t mention. (Or at least didn’t mention in the articles I’ve been able to find.)

In real life you are often forced to date or marry people based on propinquity. Where were you born? Where did you grow up? Where did you go to school? Where did you happen to move? You meet only a very small circle of people (relative to the population of the world, or even the population of SL). And so you end up dating and marrying from a very small pool of people based entirely on the chance of where you happen to live or travel.

Online you can meet people from any country – people you would never have met in regular, day-to-day life. So your pool of potential partners is automatically larger.

And when you do meet them, you tend to meet them in a context that almost guarantees you will have more in common with them than you would with randomly chosen neighbors or school chums.

The mere fact that you’re both in SL (or whatever online environment you meet someone in, from a chat room to WOW) means you share a common interest in that topic or game. Within SL itself, where you meet a person will tell you a lot about their likes. Did you meet in a BDSM dungeon? At a live music show? At a class? Chances are you have similar interests, and the location or event that you meet at gives you a foundation to start a conversation and thus a relationship.

The internet makes the world smaller and allows you to pick and choose where you spend your time, and thus who you meet. RL can never match that since you’re constrained by geography and your ability to travel.

Another aspect of dating on the internet as opposed to “internet dating” (i.e. finding someone online and then dating them in RL) is that the internet is a much more word-based, text-oriented medium. Tweets , blogs, Facebook status updates, and the default IM/text chat world of Second Life all require some degree of literacy. For me personally, this means that I am drawn to people who can communicate well with words.

Sex online is mental, not physical. Of course you get physically aroused when playing online. Of course you can stop typing to masturbate. But at its core, online sex takes place between your ears, not between your legs. That is a huge reason why I love it and why these “intellectual”, non-physical relationships are so intense, stimulating, and satisfying.

A man has to arouse my mind before he can have any hope of arousing my body.

I’m not there just to fuck–I want a relationship. An ongoing role-played relationship between my avatar and his. This usually leads to some sort of relationship between me and him, even if it’s only to tell each other how hot and sexy our AVs relationship is and how much we wish we could transfer that heat to RL. Usually RL gets in the way. Distance or existing relationships mean that it can never happen ‘for real’. It doesn’t make the SL part any less intense though.

And even when I am just there to fuck, I prefer to do it with a man I respect and am attracted to. Someone I actually like who makes me laugh and think and care.

I don’t mean physically attracted either. In Second Life everyone with $10US to spend can look like a super model or a stud. It’s the brain behind the avatar that is sexy to me. Show me that you are quick, witty, interesting, and sensual and I’m very likely to be putty in your hands.

This is true in real life too, but it’s much harder to find a man who can appeal to me this way in my everyday life. Online, all I have to do is look in places I enjoy being, and there they are.

Which do you prefer? RL or SL? Why? Would you trade one for the other?

This weekend Jezebel has been running a great series of articles on fucking while feminist. Today they ran one specifically on feminism and BDSM. I thought some of you might be interested.

It is a tricky topic, but for me personally the whole point of feminism was to give women choices about what we can wear, say, and do. If a woman chooses to wear a collar, say, “Yes Master”, (or Mistress) and do what her dominant tells her, who are we to judge or complain? As long as their play is safe, sane, and consensual, I don’t see a problem. Do you?

I keep a link to them in my live bookmark toolbar and I could not let this one go by without comment.

I don’t write romance, per se, but as an erotica author I do write mainly about sex. These suggested phrases for romance writers make me want to gag and hurl.

Suggestion: “he scanned her critically and beamed”.

What is the expected response to this? “Yay! I’m so glad I have your approval!” If a man I’m about to sleep with is looking at me “critically” then he can just keep on looking for the door and show himself out.

Suggestion: “his glance slid rapidly to her bathing suit and his mouth softened”.

Well, as long as something else has hardened, we might be in business here.

Suggestion: “his gaze dropped from her eyes to her shoulders to her breasts”.

“Hey asshole! My face is up here!”

Suggestions: “his gaze fell to the creamy expanse of her neck”.

“Expanse?” How big is this chick’s neck anyway?

Suggestion: “he looked at her and the double meaning of his gaze was very obvious”.

Huh? I don’t get this one. Some guy looks at me. It means “he’s looking at me”. What else could it mean? (I know, I’m too literal.)

Suggestion: “something intense flared through his entrancement”.

What the hell does that even mean?

Suggestion: “she had to fight her overwhelming need to be close to him”.

Why? If I want to get close to a guy I just do it. Then again, I’ve never been known for my subtlety.

Suggestion: “he was so disturbing to her in every way”.

This does not sound like a good thing.

Suggestion: “her curiosity, as well as her vanity, was aroused”.

“Ooh, you make me feel so vain!” WTF?

Suggestion: “he was as eager and erratic as a summer storm”.

Yeah, because that’s what every woman wants – an erratic man. One minute he’s there for you, they next, who knows? Um. No.

Suggestion: “there was an air of efficiency about him that fascinated her”.

Susie couldn’t wait to date the postal worker…

Suggestion: “she dreamed of being crushed within his embrace”.

Then she woke up screaming and had to drink three martinis to recover from the trauma of the nightmare.

Suggestion: “the smouldering flame she saw in his eyes startled her”.

So she doused him with water to put it out? I think I’d also be pretty damn startled if my man’s eyeballs caught fire!

Suggestion: “she was pleased with their initial intimacy”.

She was so pleased, she gave him a gold star.

Suggestion: “her feet seemed to be drifting along on a cloud”.

Then she scrambled like Wile E. Coyote and plummeted to her death.

Suggestion: “she was powerlsess to resist”.

Because he’d drugged her? Tied her up without consent? What kind of crap is this?

Also, what is all this “his gaze” stuff? Do women exist solely to be stared at by men in this person’s world? It creeps me out when my man stares at me. It took awhile, but he finally learned to be more subtle about it because I just couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe I’m just odd, but none of this appeals to me or makes me feel sexy or romantic in the least. What about you?