Gongzhuanzizhuan: I cried! CCTV reporters traveled all the way to the U.S., fearlessly standing in the storm to report the hurricane, so that we could know the boundlessly evil American imperialists have been plunged into the abyss of suffering. We will definitely not immigrate to that miserable hellhole. I salute to your hard work!

MrThoughtful: As the hurricane hit the U.S., CCTV sent battalions of reporters across the miles and into hardship to cover the storm. Reporters spoke live as the wind whipped all around them. What kind of internationalism drove this? What kind of unprincipled spirit? Later on, I realized what was going on: this seemingly valueless live coverage was for the leaders to watch, since their wives and kids are all over there.

SkymanShineSalt: CCTV has a good service and the leaders are pretty happy with that. They like to have fun by setting a building on fire during the Lantern Festival. They rush to report the good news in our country and try everything to cover up the bad news. If there’s no good news, they’ll make some up to keep the leaders happy. As for any tiny piece of bad news in foreign countries, they will carry out lengthy, exaggerated coverage to demonstrate the decay of capitalism. They never report any good news from foreign countries. If I should silently die one day, I would rather die in Xinwen Lianbo (News Simulcast), because it is so wonderful there. Utopian CCTV!

Woodlain: I didn’t see you send so many reporters when water filled the imperial capital, or when folks protested in Hong Kong in October. You didn’t even dare to fart when stability maintenance got violent in Shifang and Ningbo! You are blind to the suffering around us, but you scoot your butts thousands of miles away to worry over the Americans. You still count yourselves as humans?

DoctorXuZhangrong: I just don’t get it. The news in China is very strange. Years ago, when the Gulf War broke out, that was the leading news around the world. But CCTV’s top story of the day was about some leader meeting with foreign guests. Only then came the Gulf War. Some of my doctor friends from other countries remarked on this that it’s hard to continue watching your news.