“Tomorrow, Oprah will announce live on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ that she has decided to end what is arguably one of the most popular, influential and enduring programs in television history. The sun will set on the “Oprah” show as its 25th season draws to a close on September 9, 2011.”

The screams coming from millions of stay-at-home moms and permanently unemployed gays may cause all of your senses to shut down, so you better get into your bomb shelter. The end is near. Obviously.

You know Gayle is causing those around her to go deaf from her shrieks of joy, because now Oprah will have more time for some non-stop scissoring. Pussies will go raw!

And what the hell is Tim talking about with that “most popular and influential” shit?! Has he never heard of Dynasty?!

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