They say desperate times call for desperate measures, but this latest stunt from Cirque du Mittens is taking things to the extreme.

Just days after being busted for saying that 47 percent of Americans are lazy freeloaders who will play the victim card on election day by voting for PresidentBarack Obama and that he’d have a better chance of winning if his parents were Latino, GOP hopeful Mitt Romney apparently paid a visit to John Boehner‘s tanning salon in preparation for the Univision sponsored “Meet the Candidate” forum, reports Gawker.

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There, a noticeably browner Romney tried his best to defend his statements to the crowd:

My campaign is about the 100 percent of America,” he parroted. I know I’m not going to get 100 percent of the vote, and my campaign will focus on those people we think we can bring in to support it. But this campaign is about helping people who need help.

Interesting. Let’s take a look at what he really means, shall we?

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.

[M]y job is is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.

Nothing about those statements are similar. So either he lied then, or he’s lying now. You be the judge on where the truth is being told and to whom — his wealthy donors or a primarily Latino audience, who according to him, fall squarely in to the 47 percent.

Meanwhile, on the other side of crazy, he reinvented his position on immigration — might as well, right,his campaign has a been a week of revisionism — telling the crowd that he has no intention of “going around the country and rounding up [illegal immigrants].”

That may be true, but he does plan to sanction employers who hire them, so that they can’t find employment, forcing them to either starve or self-deport. That is, if they can make it over that 2,000-mile-long high-tech fence he wants to build on the Mexican-American border.

Tune in next week when brownface Mittens will take his campaign to a Quinceañera in East L.A. and show off his churro recipe.

No, that’s not true. But, then again, nothing about this campaign has been.