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Deer Hunting & Dental work

The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my truck waiting for us to go deer hunting, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have our feeders set to go off in thirty minutes. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!"

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."

So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth, Honey, and show him."

.

________________________________________
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Four guys have been going to the same moose camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Bob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Bob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Bob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered and dinner cooking on the fire.

"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. My wife felt bad for being so harsh about me going hunting, so... Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair at home and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said. "guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes!

She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

Four guys have been going to the same moose camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Bob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Bob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Bob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered and dinner cooking on the fire.

"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. My wife felt bad for being so harsh about me going hunting, so... Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair at home and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said. "guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes!

She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

My wife, a registered nurse, once fussed over every pain or mishap that came my way. Recently, however, I got an indication the honeymoon is over.

I was fixing the attic fan, and as I climbed the ladder in the attic, I scratched my forehead on a crossbeam. Crawling along, I picked up splinters in both hands and I cut one hand replacing the fan belt. On the way down the ladder, I missed the last two rungs and turned my ankle.

When I limped into the kitchen, my wife took one look at me and said, "Are those your good pants?"

'You can say what you want about the South, but I almost never hear of anyone wanting to retire to the North.

Old Timers Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must have had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!'

Sensitivity

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier." Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.

She looked at the men in the room, "and Gentlemen, remember -- You're in this together --

It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes, answered the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??

'Dear Lord,' he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face,
'without You we are but dust...'

He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was
listening carefully for a change!) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly
in her shrill little girl voice, 'Mommy, what is butt dust?'

The thing about traveling is, you never want it to end and you can't wait to get home.
I answer to Roy, Chief, or Sarg.
04 R-1150-RT current bike. 94 R-1100-RS74,383, Sold, 78 R-80/7, K.I.A by a D.U.Iwww.OceanStateBMWriders.com

Tea party for Dad

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party. She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea her Mom came home. Dad made her Mom wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water is the toilet...