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Tuesday, 28 February 2017

I am thanking God for another month ending on a praise note.
With the gift of live comes also the gift of hope. So as long as we are still
breathing God is not finished with us yet.

So tonight I will share another story and a very
interesting one too. I pray that this story does not just bless us with information,
but with lessons that will help us be better spouses in our marriage to the
glory of God.

The Story

A wonderful young wife discovered after several years of
waiting on God for the fruit of the womb that she cannot conceive due to some medical issues that has
affected her womb. This devastated her a great deal but for whatever reason she
chose not to share this with her husband of several years. Rather than open up
to her husband, she concealed the information and recoiled to herself and became a zombie wife literarily.
She would not communicate with her husband and always had several reasons and
excuses to avoid sex with him. Though she became close to God, yet estranged
from her husband.

The husband on his part noticed the drastic change in his
wife and several entreaties to make her open up on what was wrong with her fell
on deaf ears. Soon they became two complete strangers living under the same
roof with absolutely no attachment between them. And months after, the husband stopped eating at
home and the wife just didn’t mind, yet she will cook his food and the husband will not
eat and she won’t even persuade him to.

With days running into months and no light seem to be at
the end of the tunnel of their marriage, the husband began an extra marital affair. Though
he loved his wife very much and would want to know what was eating her up, yet
he needed a companion; he needed to be loved too. So there was this lady offering
herself to him effortlessly and even with his initial rejection, she wouldn't give up and there is his wife on whom he is hocked but who seem not to bother about his
feeling at all. So he succumbed to pressure and started an affair with this lady and got
all the attention he needed, but still his love remained with his wife.

On this faithful night the wife was out of the home on an
outing they were supposed to be attending together but which the husband missed out on carelessly.
Noting that he had hurt his wife’s feelings by not attending the function with her, he decided to impress her by
cleaning the house in a manner he knew would impress her. In the course of his
cleaning he discovered his wife’s medical report, read the doctor's diagnosis and then realized why she had
been estranged from him for close to a year. Rather than get angry, he felt
relieved that finally he knows what the big issue was.

On the wife’s return he sat her down and asked her why she
kept such vital and sensitive information from him. It was a matter that
concerns them both and it was a mutual problem that he should have been a part of from the onset. He made his wife realize that
he didn’t marry her just for babies and there is still a God who make
impossible possible. That night they made up and the husband began his search for
a cure or any possible solutions to his wife’s ailment. He searched on the
internet to know more on the diagnosis of his wife and it became more of his
problem than that of his wife.

But there remains the outside mistress. Now that the
internal problem between the husband and the wife has been resolved; the
husband arranged a final meeting with the outside mistress to dissolve the relationship between them. But
the mistress will hear nothing of such. She is now threatening to reveal their
affair to the wife and later came up with pregnancy report stating that she is pregnant
for the husband.

The dilemma in this story is that the husband does not want
any shocks on his marriage again. He is scared to open up to his wife about his
sins (his extra marital affair) to his wife knowing fully well that she will not be so forgiving. He is also aware that before he got married to his wife, she once
had her heart broken by a guy she dated and that affected her health a great
deal, so he is scared what effect this revelation might have on her. Now he
does not know what to do.

My Take on This Story

In as much as I feel like excusing this husband for
cheating on his wife, I will say that it’s unacceptable. Yes, he loves his wife
and has tried so hard to understand the cause of the rift in their marriage and make amends, yet
this story didn’t indicate that he prayed and fasted for God’s intervention in
his dying marriage of which he didn’t even know its disease. Rather than pray
he feel prey of the vultures in the desert waiting for a lifeless marriage to
feast on.

Coming to the wife, I am still finding it hard to
comprehend why she kept such information from her husband and then choose to
react negatively to him instead. Was she blaming him for her predicament or was
she trying to push him away? I still don’t get it. The Bible says in
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 that two are better than one and if one should fall his
friend will lift him up. In all of her going to church and serving God, didn’t she
learn this? I understand that fear of the unknown and not being able to
determine what the husband’s reaction can be might make her hold up such a
thing to herself for some time, but that should not be for too long, and she
should not have sent her husband packing out of her emotional life for a thing
that isn’t his fault.

But after all said and done, the first solution to the
matter at hand is for both of them to go back to God in prayer. Forgive each other on misjudgment they have made and sins committed. The husband needs to prayer and seek God as he makes up his mind to approach his wife. We learned in Proverbs 21:1
that the hearts of kings and princes are in the hands of the Lord; He directs
it like a watercourse wherever He pleases. So the Lord will direct the heart of
your wife to forgive you when you have pray to God about this situation. You then take the next important step of telling your wife about your sins yourself. Trust me, it safer she hears from you in a sober mood and with a repentant presentation than for her to hear
it from someone else. When you quickly cross that huddle you can face the major
task ahead which is the diagnosis of the doctors on your wife's fertility.

I strongly believe in the recovery of this marriage and I
pray that the enemy will not have room to steal their joy again.

Monday, 27 February 2017

Hello people, its another week, and another fruitful and
satisfactory week it will be for us in Jesus name. I want to address a question
from a friend on today’s post and pray that it will make loads of meaning in
the lives of those who read it.

Her Question:

Hello Derin dear, may grace be on the increase in your life
daily. Please, I would like you to give an insight on marital submission in the
home. Does the command to wives to submit to their husbands in all things mean
the wives should be doormat to their husbands or dumb? Does it mean a wife
should earn salary and give it to her husband?

Response

In order to have clarity on this issue, we need to go back
to those Bible scriptures were the command to submit are found and try to really
understand what it is all about. Even though we have gone over this several
times, we will continue to go over it until proper clarity is achieved.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit to
your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ
is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the
church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in
everything.

1 Peter 3:1-2

Wives, in the same
way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the
word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when
they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

So we will look at this command bit by bit and understand
the mind of God on this issue of submission. And the very first thing I
want the wives to understand is that it is not the husband that requested for the submission that you are giving, but God; it is not your husband that gave the command to submit, but God. And
obedience to God’s word is what we are considering now. There is no point
affiliating yourself to Christ or calling yourself a child of God when you cannot obey His word because you have
concluded within you that such a command does not make sense to you or it does not
suit you. Just like God commands us not to tell lies, and not to cheat, and not
to murder and to honor our father and mother, and to keep the Sabbath day holy,
so also did God command us wives to submit to our husbands as to the
Lord. If you can hold all the other laws and commands of God sacrosanct, so
also should you hold the submission law sacrosanct.

When you faithfully obey God and do His will and commands for your life, then you can be sure that He (the Lord) will faithfully grant
you the desires of your heart because He is a faithful God who keeps His promises.
Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires
of your heart.” So when you obey God in your marital life by submitting to
your husband as God has commanded you to do, He will grant you the desires of your heart by blessing you with
a beautifully joyful marriage.

The problem with a lot of wives is that they focus more on
their husbands when it comes to the issue of submission in marriage rather than
focusing on God as though it's their husbands they are accountable to in this matter. They then hold on to the negative attitude of their husbands as
an excuse to disobey the word of God. It's not your husband that you will give account to when it comes to obedience to the word of God; you are accountable to God. And for these wives, when things are not working well in their homes, they either claim that God is unfair or take the law into their hands in some cases and walk out of the marriage forgetting that the answer to prayers for a loving
marriage resides in their obedience to God’s word.

Paul said in Romans 12:19 that “Do not take revenge, my
friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to
avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.’” It is only an ignorant husband that will
turn his wife into a doormat, because any wrong done against you will be
avenged by God if you are patient enough to let God’s process take its course
in your situation. 1 Peter 3:7 and Malachi 2:16 tells us that a husband who
does not treat his wife properly risk his prayers not answered by God. Now
in your own understanding, can any man escape the wrath of God? If your husband
wrongs you, he will pay for whatever he has done against you and if you disobey
God’s word by not submitting to your husband, then you are an offender yourself and you will be rewarded accordingly.

Another problem that wives have is that rather than obey
their husbands to a point where such husband is drawn to God in full
repentance, they harbor hatred for him. They curse their husbands in their minds and
with their mouths, yet they want God’s intervention in a case where they are
just as guilty as the husband. And then we wonder how God will judge such a matter
without the two being punished.

Romans 12:14,
17-18, 21

Bless those who
persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Do not repay
anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Do not be overcome
by evil, but overcome evil with good.

If God will give you this command concerning those who are
just meant to be your neighbors with no peculiar attachment between you and them, then how much
more will God require a double effort from you when it comes to your husband?
Remember 1 Peter 3:1-2 says that it is through the purity and reverence of your
life that springs from your submission to your husband that your unbelieving husband
will be won over to God. So your submission to your husband is a tool in the
hands of God to bring to repentance and holiness your unbelieving husband. If
your husband is the only soul you win for Jesus through your submissive
lifestyle, I am confident that God will reward you richly.

On the issue of submitting your income, I will say this: If
God should ask for your money and you can give Him willingly; then if your
husband should ask for your income/money, you should not hold back. The instruction
from the Lord says submit to your husband as to the Lord.

If your husband did not ask for your income, please keep
your money to yourself and spend it as you wish because you worked for it. But if
he demands it of you, the word of God says submit to your husband in everything.

When you are a Christian and you are aligned with God and
obeying His words, your words are law, because you will declare a thing and it
will come to pass. This is a powerful weapon that is useful in your marriage. When
you are doing the will of God, you will command peace, joy, love and abundance
into your marriage and you will see it manifest. When you declare increase in the
life of your husband and you serve a God who fulfills the words of your mouth,
then you can be sure of increase in the life of your husband that will make your own
income be like peanuts to him; he will have more than enough that he won’t
need your income not to talk of demanding of it.

I believe this post has revealed a lot to us, enough to help a lot of troubled marriages
and I pray that the Lord will heal many homes and joy, peace and love will
return into many marriages in Jesus name.

Friday, 24 February 2017

So we continue in our review of some true life stories, and
I pray that we are learning valuable lessons from them to the glory of God.

Issue

I am not the first wife married to my husband. I met and
married him as a widower taking care of three children all by himself. We began
a relationship and I loved this man and cared for his children like my own. After
a couple of months into the relationship I discovered that I was pregnant and we got engaged. The pregnancy fast-tracked
our relationship and we got married. I have endured a lot in my marriage to
this man but the big issue is that I don’t feel loved by him, neither does he
show any respect for my person as his wife. It’s quite frustrating when you are
invisible to the man to whom you should matter the most.

Another issue of contention between us is that I have only
two children of my own for him and I want more children. Every attempt to talk
him into us having more children falls on deaf hears. He just doesn’t want to
hear any talk about more children and believe me I want more than two children in my life.
I can tell you for free that its just a thin line holding this marriage
together. This is not what I bargained for in marriage.

Response

I am yet to see someone who says she got it all together in
marriage without a single hitch. There are a lot to endure, a lot to learn, a
lot to give and a lot to sacrifice to get to the point of rest in marriage. The
first question I would love to ask is: what have you invested in that marriage
so far, and what are you praying to God for in your marriage? There are a lot of
times that what we are praying for will only happen when we re-engineer our
actions and do what we should do, the way we should do them.

The simple tricks to earning the respect of your husband
are as follows:

1)Reduce your dependence
on him. Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and learn the values of a wife of noble
character and you will learn about how industrious an entrepreneur a wife of noble character is. Then she
is full of wisdom and kindness and on accord of her, her husband is respected
at the city gate. When you reduce your dependence on your husband, he stops to see you as a burden or liability and he'll appreciate your contributions to his life more.

2)The second secret to
earning your husband’s respect is to submit to him. The word of God says wives
should submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. If everything else fails, the
word of God never fails. When you prayerfully submit to your husband, you obey God's word for your life and obeying God's word results in God taking everything that concerns you more seriously.

3)Refuse to be a nagging
wife. When things are not going the way you want them to go in your marriage, pray about
it well rather than take laws into your own hands or fight your own battles. Whatever you commit into the hands of God you should know that He is faithful to handle it perfectly in the perfect timing. Also it is the Lord who holds the heart of your husband in His hands, and He can direct it as He pleases (Proverb 26:1). He has the ability to direct your husband's heart to favor you when your ways are pleasing to Him. Always understand that you cannot make your husband do anything outside his will; any attempt to force anything on your husband will be met with a resistance which mostly results in fights

4)Don’t let emotions
blur your sense of reasoning in marriage. You need to be wise, understanding
and objective. Your way might not be the ideal or best way so be ready to listen
and do things the way your husband wants it done when the pendulum doesn’t swing in your direction.

5)And lastly, show
respect to your husband. Whatever you want from him, give him that. Respect in
life is earned and not forced, so you can’t compel your husband to respect you
when you have not first respected him.

And on the issue of having more children, I choose to
reason with your husband and my reason is this: You have two children, but your
husband has five children; three from his late wife and two from you. So while
you see two children, he sees five. And in this economy that we are all trying
to survive in, having to financially support five children where he has to feed them, shelter them,
cloth them and pay for their education and give them all round best that a father can
give, you will agree that five is more than enough.

You have embraced the three children your husband had
before you married him as your own, so continue to embrace and love them as
your own. See yourself also as a mother of five and not just two because it’s
not just the biological mother that can mother children. A care giver whose has
loved and cared for children as her own is also a mother to those children in her
own capacity. So the work you have done in the lives of your stepchildren and
the quality seed you have sown in their lives qualifies you as a mother to
them and that settles it.

So I pray that the Lord will honor you and bless your home
in Jesus Mighty name.

Thursday, 23 February 2017

Its another story time and I am just enjoying this few days
of learning from other people’s experiences. That's what's called wisdom. These stories are shared for us to learn from; they are true life stories that we can relate to
so we don’t wait to make our own mistakes. So today we share another story.

Issue

I have been married for about 15months and my husband can’t
seem to make love to me because he can’t seem to get it up. I love him and I don’t
want to leave him. We have been managing this situation between us but then my mum called
me one day expressing concern over the fact that I'm not pregnant yet and it's been over a year that I got married. In tears I confided in
her and told her the challenge in my marriage. And lo and behold the issue was
blown out of proportion with my husband’s parents invited into the situation. My
husband tried explaining to my mum that he is more worried and concerned about his predicament as he is looking forward to starting his own family more than my mother is looking forward to having another grandchild. But my mum would not hear any of such explanations. She has forced me out of my marriage against
my will and I just don’t know how to handle this? I am caught between my mother
who does not see any reason why I should remain married to a man who cannot give
me a child and my husband that I love dearly.

Response

Honestly my heart goes out to you as I'm almost in tears
as I pen down a response to this issue. But first, where are your praying
knees? You have not mentioned anything about prayers. Have you prayed to God to
know your purpose in that marriage and in the life of that husband of yours? Do
you know whether its for this problem that the Lord made you a wife and a suitable helper to this
man; that you might be the answer to the prayer that he has been seeking the
face of God for? Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives the favor of God.” Why would you allow your mother remove you from
under the authority of the head that the Lord has placed over your life and from the assignment that the Lord has handed over to you?

In as much as I appreciate the enormity of the problem at
hand, I also appreciate the Mightiness of God who is able to solve all problems
and I do not appreciate you being a wimp who would allow her mother interfere with her marriage. Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will
leave father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one
flesh.” So where is the place of your mother in your marriage equation based on God's design that she should come and pull you out of your marriage? I still can’t seem to
understand this.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says “Two are better than one, because
they will have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can
help him up.” Based on this scripture, you have just shown that you are not a friend to be relied on
not to talk of being a wife to depend on by your actions of allowing your
mother interfere in the affairs of your home. You are a wife who has left her
husband on the floor rather than help him up when he needs you the most. Permit
me for being hard.

As far as I know the only humane thing for you to do is to go
back to your husband and hold his hands through the storm of his life. You are
his suitable helper, assigned to him by God to help him in every area where he
needs help. Now is the time for you to fulfill God’s calling upon your life in
the life of your husband. Do not let anyone (not even your mother) make you
fail God in this. You are not accountable to your mother in the matters of your marriage, you are accountable to
God.

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

In yesterday’s post, I shared a real life story and I believe it was helpful to so many people with challenges in their marriages. So today, I will
share another real life story and I pray it will make an impact in your marriages and homes in Jesus name.

Issue

I got married to this lovely young lady; prior to our
marriage, in the course of our courtship, I noticed some unacceptable behavioral traits in her and
confided in my parents about my observations. At that point of making my discoveries I wanted to call-off the engagement but my
mother talked me out of it. She knew my wife’s mother well, and knew her to be a
responsible woman. Her thought then was that since her mother was a responsible
and respected woman in the society the daughter will not be too bad a wife. She
convinced me that everybody had a past and so I can’t condemn my fiancée based
on her past. We had several prayers sessions concerning my choice of wife
before I finally agreed to proceed with the wedding. But lo and behold my fears
were confirmed a couple of months after our wedding when I discovered my wife
was having extra-marital affairs. This broke my heart and I could not help but
take it out on my mother who convinced me to marry her. I presented my parents with
the various undeniable evidences that I had gathered concerning my wife's adulterous lifestyle, and called the marriage quit. I have
since relocated to start a new life elsewhere waiting for the divorce
proceedings to take its course. This time around I will look well before I jump
into any marriage. And I will ensure that I listen to my inner mind and not allow
anyone convince me otherwise.

Response

To say that I understand your anger is to put it mildly,
but I thank God that you mentioned the phrase sessions of prayers before the
wedding took place and your marriage finalized. The fact that you prayed makes all the difference, and if the Lord
knew that He was unable to repair and redeem that situation, He would definitely
prevent the marriage from taking place.

I am sure you have read about the story of Hosea in the
Bible; this tells you that there is nothing new under the sun and the fact that
Hosea married an unfaithful wife didn’t mean the marriage was doomed. As a matter of fact God was in it from the beginning. He instructed Hosea to go take an unfaithful woman as his wife and he loved her still. Would you
dare to go back to God in prayer to ask Him to intervene in this matter like
the story shared in the last post? Would you dare to pray and ask the Lord to
take the wheels of this situation off your hands and direct the course of your life and marriage
the best way He alone can?

If you get a divorce like you are already trying to, you are justified; but then the fact
still remains that you cannot take another wife (1 Corinthians 7:10-11); you
are allowed a divorce on the grounds of marital unfaithfulness by the standard of God, but by that same standard of God
you have to remain single for the rest of your life or be reconciled to your
wife.

Please let your anger burn, but not for too long. And don’t
let that anger burn so high that it makes you lose consciousness of God and His
will for your life. Don’t let that anger burn to the point that you will lose
all the God given favor that is residing in the life of your wife for you. She
holds some treasures in her life that belongs to you; God put those treasures
there for your life and I beg you not to let the devil rob you clean of God’s
treasure due to your anger against your wife.

Prayer for grace to forgive, pray for her to change her
ways and be all that God has called her to be in your life and pray that God
will open your spirit eye to see the good in your wife outside of her
shortfalls. God is still in the business of answering prayers. Love her to repentance and watch God make her into all that He has
called her to be in your life.

You are hurting, I know, and it takes great grace to walk
through this period in your life, but with God all things are possible. His
grace is available for you if you are willing to embrace it. That marriage will
rise again in Jesus name.

Monday, 20 February 2017

I want to welcome you all to another week and I bless God
because I am positive that it will be a very productive week in Jesus name.

I am not sure if I have shared this story before, but I wish
to share it again. And if this is the first time of it coming on this blog, I
am positive this story will bless a soul and heal a marriage in Jesus name.

There is this lady who had been married for over 10yrs, and
her marriage had been characterized by various challenges from very frequent
quarrels and arguments to absolute lack of love in the marriage. On face value, everyone who sees these couples will conclude that all was well between them, but within them
it was just a very thin line that held the marriage together. It was a
marriage of no trust, no love, no care, no respect and every good thing that
makes a beautiful home was lacking in this one. But of all the problems that
had overwhelmed this marriage, the big of them all was infidelity. The husband
had transferred all the love he should have invested in his wife and children
on strange women outside his marriage.

He would smile and play with strange women, exchange love
messages to them, care for their feelings and well-being, but for his wife, it
was constant war. Nothing she did seemed good enough and whenever she
complained, it was another round of insults and quarrels.

In the middle of all her marital woes, this wife developed
a relationship with God and she began to pray. She also resolved to reading and
her Bible and in no time began to unfold the secret to a successful marriage.
She learned to submit to her husband; and you will agree with me that
submission to a husband who loves and cares for you is quite easy, but when you
have to submit to a husband who disdains you, it’s a very big challenge. She literarily
had to depend on God to help her through with submitting to her mean husband.

Her marriage began to improve as she continued to lean on
God to submit to her husband. She had to learn submission for about two years before her marriage started having the slightest feel of a normal marriage. But
there still remained the issue of strange women in the life of her husband which
she dears not mention or the peace that had begun to find its way into her marriage
would fade away again. So in tears she began to pray.

Anytime she had an argument with her husband over the
issue of the strange women in his life and her husband responded harshly she
would cry to God. And on one occasion she had argued with her husband over
the issue of a particular female friend of his of which she felt the friendship
between him and the lady was a little closer than normal. After her husband
left the house, she laid on her bed and again began to cry and pray. On this one
occasion the Lord visited her and promised her that, that will be the last time
she would ever have to cry over the infidelity of her husband.

Soon after that, she noticed that her husband was always home
early and was becoming very loving towards her and their children. He wouldn’t honor
his friend’s invitation for hang-outs and he would always just want to be close
to his wife. The wife found this strange but she was enjoying what her marriage
was turning out to be. She had totally forgotten about her prayers to God of months back and even forgotten God’s promise to her. All she knew was that
her husband loved her much more than before, and she was enjoying every bit of it.

Then one night her husband made a confession to her that he
had a one-fight sex affair with a woman he met for the first time several
months ago. Strangely though, the wife was not offended, neither was she
troubled. She simply asked her husband if he wore a protective rubber while at
it and when he answered in the affirmative, she also asked if he was still seeing
the lady after the one-night event and he responded that he never saw the lady again after
that night. That was all that was said on the issue and the both them continued their marriage as though nothing ever happened.

The calmness of the wife over this confession initially made the husband sober and scared. He had expected a worse reaction but when he waited a couple of days and no issue was raised on the matter again by the wife, that made him love and respect her the more. And gradually the husband began to adore his wife; everyday
was a new and beautiful day in their marriage.

After months, the husband called the wife and told her he
had more confessions to make. Still the wife was calm and asked what it was. The
husband told her he didn’t reveal the whole truth in his first confession and that in truth
the rubber he wore in the course of the intercourse busted and it was as though he didn’t use any protection.

Still being calm, the wife asked if the lady in question
was pregnant for him, but he responded to the negative and said he had not seen
or heard from her since the incident happened. It was then that the wife realized
that her husband was afraid that he might have contacted some deadly diseases from his one night show and the fear of the possibility of that had made him stay away
from strange women. For months the husband could not bring himself to go for a medical check-up for fear of what the result would be and still the wife loved him like nothing ever happened. The thought of the possibility of dying had humbled him and
made him change from his wayward ways.

After a while the husband went for a comprehensive medical
check-up and was given a clean bill. But that served as a lesson for him and
ever since then he was faithful to his wife alone. The calmness and support
this wife gave to her husband during the period of his self-torture from his
wayward life style made him love and respect her like he had never before. And since then he adored his wife like he should.

One afternoon, while the wife was cleaning the house, she
heard the voice of God speak to her reminding her of God’s promise to erase
infidelity in her marriage for good. She laughed within her and praised God
knowing that there was nothing she did or could have done that would have made her
husband change from his sinful ways safe of God’s intervention. It was only God that could put the
fear of sin of adultery in his life and sustain it there. Today their marriage is at peace and there is so much love
between them like it had never existed before.

I would say that it takes great grace to do what this wife
did and endure what she endured. But God’s grace is available to us all if we
are willing to hand our issues over to God and leave it dear. God will not just
solve the problem, He will also will also give you the calmness of spirit to
sustain you while He takes care of the issue. It’s just like having the doctor administer anesthetics on a patient to calm the patient and ease the pain
while he carries out a surgery on the patient to cure an ailment. This is what God is all about when we let Him take care of our issues for us. It always does not have to end in a divorce and your marriage was never designed to break. It just needs you to connect with God and it will all be sorted out if you'll let go and let God.

Saturday, 18 February 2017

Hello beautiful people, I believe we all had a great week
and looking forward to a restful weekend and by the special grace of God we
will all have a beautiful weekend to the glory of God.

So we will be looking at a real life issue on marriage, a
story that I believe we will be able to learn a thing or two from. This is a story
that is just as real as you and I and so we can relate to it.

Issue

I have been married for about 5yrs, and it has been a mixed
experience for me. I won’t say that I am a happily married woman, but at least
I have a good job as a hairdresser and that keeps me busy and distracted from
my marriage issues. I spend the large chunk of my time in my hairdressing salon and I
am there with my children so that keeps me from the misery of my husband coming
home late or not paying attention to me as his wife. But what I won’t tolerate
is my husband relegating his financial responsibility to me because he thinks I
have money to bear the burden. He won’t pay the children’s school fees because
he knows that if he doesn't, I will pay up the fees to avoid embarrassment, and now he
is avoiding paying for the remaining part of the required school wears for the
children because he feels also that I will pay it. I have reminded him on the
demand from the school to get the prescribed school uniform for the children on
the set days that they need to wear these uniforms but he just keeps avoiding
that discussion with the mindset that over time I will go and pay for those
school wears for the children to avoid embarrassment as it's always the case. We have quarreled severally on this attitude of his but he just won't change. But on this particular school wear issue I have made up my mind that I won’t pay for the remaining set of uniforms for the children and will continue to wear the wrong set of uniforms for them to school unless their father does his responsibility and buy it for them. My husband works and makes money and I have no idea what he uses his
money for if he can’t even take care of his own children’s need.

Response

I thank God that in His design for human kind every child
has two parents. This is to ensure that the child has all the adequate care
that he/she needs. So if a parent is failing in his/her responsibility, the
other parent can fill in. In all, the child should have adequate care and
support till he/she stops to be a child. Although I do not excuse what your
husband is doing by not providing for his family, but two wrongs has never been
known to make a right. And when you get to give God the report of your
stewardship here on earth, your husband is not a good enough excuse for failing.

If you are not making enough or you genuinely don’t have to give for the
upkeep of your children, that will be another issue entirely. But God who is mindful
of your situation, and knows what lies ahead of you, has provided a way of
escape by giving you work to do and enabling you to earn good income to sustain
you while He handles the situation of your husband so that you don’t live in
lack. What message are you then sending to God if you insist that you won’t take
care of the needs of your children because it is your husband’s responsibility
and you shouldn’t be the one handling his responsibility for him? Have you considered the fact that it could be
that it’s because you have become the burden bearer in the home that the Lord
is blessing you and prospering the works of your hands.

Deuteronomy 8:18 says, it is the Lord who gives us the
ability to make wealth; it’s not your power nor your ability that has helped
you this far, so honor God with what He has blessed your life with and take
care of the children He has kept under your watch to care for without waiting on
any one to do what God has blessed you to do. Your children do not have to suffer for the sins of their father.

The hard truth in this matter is that there is no amount of
rebellion and fight that can make your husband own up to his responsibility as
the breadwinner of his family unless the Lord touches his heart to do what he
is suppose to do. Trying to force your husband to perform his responsibility
might only destroy the peace of your marriage. If you have complained about his
negligence to the financial needs of the home and he has not made any effort to
adjust, then more complain will not make him change. If you’ve applied an
approach and it has not yielded the desired result, then change your approach.

Since you have spoken to your husband and nothing has change, then cease to
speak to him on the issue anymore and go on your knees. Fight this battle on your knees in prayers to God. Proverbs 26:2 says the heart of kings and princes are in the hands of the Lord,
and like a water course He directs them as He wishes, this includes the heart
of your husband. So what you can’t do, God can do and so please let Him.

The secret about this is that when your husband abandons
his responsibility, then he is risking the fact that God will stop listening to
his prayers (Malachi 2:13-14); and when God stops to hear his prayers, it’s
just a matter of time for things to starts falling apart for him and I am sure you are not looking forward to that. The Bible
says a man who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever. And
then we can ask ourselves, what has God got to do with an unbeliever; the
prayers of a sinner is an abomination to God.

But when you join your husband in abandoning your
responsibility of caring for your children, you are also as guilty as your
husband. So you should not be surprised when God stops to listen to your
prayers too. But by the special grace of God, the Lord will uphold you to do what
is right before Him always in Jesus name.

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley
of Sorek whose name was Delilah. The rulers of the Philistines went to her and
said, “See if you can lure him into showing you the secret of his great
strength and how we can overpower him so that we may tie him up and subdue him.
Each one of us will give you eleven thousand shekels of silver.

The story of Samson and Delilah is a well-known story that does
not need much introduction or analysis. Unlike what I always thought, Samson
was not married to Delilah, he just loved her but the outcome of that illicit
love brought about his undoing as a hero.

I have mentioned several times on this blog that though
love is essential in every marriage union, but there is something that precedes
love and that prayers and divine consultation with God before letting loose
your love for anyone.

Just as love can be sweet, it can also be soar if and when
it is awakened when it is not desired. It was love without God that made Milcah to
be easily used by her father as a snare in the life of David to her own disadvantage. It was love
that led Joseph to labor 14yrs for a thief, an idolater and a jealous woman as
wife (Rachael) just because she was beautiful. And in the case of Samson it is also this same love
that caused Samson to loose his glory and power. And all these examples are of love
without God.

The right kind of love is the one that God makes happen;
that kind of love that exist between Isaac and Rebekah and the kind of love
that you find between Ruth and Boaz or that one that existed between Queen Esther
and King Vashti, and I can go on citing examples of the kind of love with God’s
hands on this.

So it’s important that you ask yourself; what is the kind
of love that you are holding unto? Is it the kind of love with God at the
center of it all, or is it the kind of love that was awakened when it is not desired, with self and lust as the center of it? If you don’t have God in the center of
your love, then invite Him into it today if you are married before that love without God becomes the greatest mistake of your life. And if you are not married but in
love, please put that love on hold and seek God first. Do this and you can be
sure that the love He puts in your life will last forever because it is from God.

I wish to thank everyone for your messages of love and comments on
my wedding anniversary post, I felt so honored and loved. Valentine’s day couldn’t have been
better. You made my day and I say a very big AMEN to all the prayers. I receive
them with joy and look forward to joyous celebrations with you too in Jesus
name.

We will continue to search the word of God for insights on how to get our marriages to the next level. No matter how good your marriage
is at the moment, it can always get better because the best is yet to come for you.

So we will be taking a look at the marriages of Samson. In truth I typed marriages, as we know from the Bible that Delilah was not the only wife that Samson
married; and you will also discover that the Lord allowed Samson marry a
Philistine. This is very unlike God allowing an Israelite marry from outside their own people.

Judges 14:1-4

Samson went down to Timnah and saw a young Philistine
woman. When he returned, he said to his father and mother, “I have seen a
Philistine woman in Timnah; now get her for me as my wife.”

His father and mother replied, “Isn’t there an acceptable
woman among your relatives or among all our people? Must you go to the
uncircumcised Philistines to get a wife?

But Samson said to his father, “Get her for me. She’s the
right one for me.” (His parents did not know that this was from the Lord, who
was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines; for at that time they were
ruling over Israel.)

One thing I am almost too sure of is that a lot of people don’t
even know the purpose of God for their marriage. All they know is that they are in love
and they get married. Now if you don’t know the purpose of God for your marriage, how
can you fulfill purpose with your marriage. When you don’t fulfill purpose with
your marriage it becomes a miserable venture and there is nothing to look
forward to in that marriage; no set goals to achieve. It's most likely going to
be a continuous circle day in day out and after a while you get bored and want
out.

Earlier I had mentioned that it was strange for God to
allow an Israelite marry outside of his own people, but in this case Samson wasn’t just
any Israelite, he was a Nazirite to the Lord. He was one set apart for God
right from his mother’s womb and now he is going to marry an uncircumcised Philistine.
No wonder his parents raised objections initially and save of his insistence I believe
his parents will not consent to the union.

But what seem strange in the whole issue is that Samson’s
decision was from the Lord and it was not just from the Lord alone, it was for a
purpose. I am not sure if Samson knew that it was God pulling him in that
direction for a purpose, but in truth he achieved the purpose for what the
Lord intended to use that union to accomplish. Indeed he dealt a blow on the
Philistines.

Another marriage that appeared strange to me, is the
marriage of Hosea in the book of Hosea chapter 1. There the Lord asked Hosea to
take an adulterous wife. Was God being mean to have requested this of Hosea?
Definitely not; but this marriage was for a purpose. It was for an illustration
of the love of God for the children of Israel. And indeed that marriage served
it’s purpose.

A number of people miss it in marriage just because they don’t
know the purpose why God put them in that marriage. Know today that your
marriage is not solely for you. There is a mission for you to accomplish for God in that home and with that union. There
is an assignment for you in the life of the person you are living with. Your
marriage will be most fulfilled when you know God’s purpose for your marriage
and run with it.

I asked God that big question of what He wanted of me in my marriage and what He wanted to accomplish with my marriage, when my marriage was in
trouble and I wondered why the Lord will let me remain in that miserable
dungeon called marriage. Today I know my purpose in marriage. Today I know that
my marriage is not just for me but for as many as those whom the Lord leads to
read what I write on this blog. How can I encourage others in marriage and tell them that with God everything will be fine, when my own marriage
cannot model what I preach? So I am here as Mrs. Obasa in this marriage, not just for me, but
also for you who read this always. And I am enjoying every bit of my marital
life now. No divorce, no walking away; same man, same husband, same marriage but far better
result because now I am doing it God’s way and not my way.

It’s time for you too to discover what the Lord intends to
achieve with your marriage. It might not be the same as mine, but I believe
it will be a glorious purpose. And when you run with that purpose you will have
a fulfilled marriage that you will forever bless God for.

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

In today’s post I want to please seek your permission and
crave your indulgence to do something different from my regular posting. Today
is my 13th wedding anniversary and I really bless God for seeing me
through thus far. It’s been a journey of learning and as much as I have learned
I have shared with the people God on this platform through the inspiration of
the Holy Spirit.

Today I want to launch on this platform the work I have been doing for God which are the books I have written through the inspiration of God. The Lord
has helped me reach people in various parts of the world with His word through
this platform, and there is no way I can gather all these people together in one room to introduce the work the Lord has achieved
through me to them. So by the grace of God, I am launching the
journey that started sometime in 2008 and which I have worked with God
passionately to achieve on this platform. There are four of the books that are
being launched today and I will introduce the rest on a later date.

My journey into writing for the Lord began in 2008. I lost
my job in June 2005 and that began for me a journey that brought me to my
knees. It was the most trying period of my life. My financial life was dead, my
marriage was in trouble and everything that could possibly go wrong in my life
went wrong. Every attempt to make income was a failure. In frustration I ran to
God; I prayed and prayed and still nothing changed. Not even my marriage looked
like it would stand the test of time. At that point in my life I contemplated
suicide. And then looking at my little children and knowing the fact that
suicide would not get me to heaven I dropped the idea. I told God that if I won’t get a job for a human, then I
can at least work for Him, I had faith in God and I understood that the
remuneration would be better than working for man.

From where I can’t explain or understand I developed
interest in writing. First it started as a hobby and something to while away time with, and then it grew into writing to address issues that I felt wasn’t right in my environment and one of such
issues was marriage. I became very close to my Bible and read it at every
opportunity I had. The word of God and obeying the instructions of God for my life with the help of the Holy Spirit and the grace of God alone healed my marriage. But the issue of finances
was still pending.

As I began to walk with God and work for God my story began
to change. I still do not earn income but I can tell you that the Lord has been
more than good to me. Some of the products of work done for God are the books
that I am launching on this platform now. These are books that have blessed my
life personally and a few people who have had the chance of reading them have
given the same feedback that they have been greatly blessed by them.

Because this is an online book launch and we are unable to
have guests who have read the books come up to give a word of what they have
enjoyed in the books, you have the blog posts that you have been reading to
give you a glimpse of what the books can possibly contain. Below is just a
little something about each book that is launched and all the links from which
you can purchase copies.

The book "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement" was written to bring people's attention back to God's initial plan and purpose for marriage. It's is a book that opens up our minds to God's established rules for marriage and helps us understand why God came up with these rules. In it you will understand and appreciate the rules and have clear knowledge of it application. When you know the rules and apply the rules, no force from the gates of hell can hold your marriage bound from prospering. This is a book that looks into every area of our marital life and how to make the best of it. It also contains real life issues that you can learn from. With this book you can be guaranteed of a beautiful marital experience if you hold on to God to follow His rules for your marriage. It's a 170pages book in easy to read bold print format that would make it's mark in your life for good.

So today I want you to please pray on this book for me, bless it and launch it for me by purchasing copies from the online stores with links provided below. Get copies for your friends and families and tell as many people about it as you can. If God has used me to impact your life, then make my day by getting copies of this book for you and your loved ones.

Gleanings from the Throne of God was my very first assignment for God. It's a collection of ten life-changing short books in one book. From the very first page of this book to the last, there is something for you to hold on to and be blessed by. The Lord used me to write this book in the depth of great challenges in my life and writing this book was the light at the end of the tunnel for me. It was the revelation of God in my life that what I was going through was a challenge with an expiry date. Everyone who has had a chance of reading this book has given the feedback of blessings.

In this book you will discover the secret of giving thanks in all circumstances and the power of praising God even when all is not well. You will appreciate the dangers of worry and why you need to re-engineer your pursuit in life. And yes, it reveals to us that there is nobody and nothing that God cannot use, so don't write yourself off. And strangely enough, you will learn about the advantages of suffering. Yes you read right, there is something valuable about suffering and that you will discover in this book.

So there is a lot to look forward to in the book "Gleanings From The Throne of God," and its also to be launched by you today. It's a large print book with 171pages. So please pray on this book, bless it and launch it by purchasing copies from the links provided below. May the Lord bless you ever so richly as you uphold me in doing what pleases the Lord.

Psalm 127:3-5 says, Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate." This passage is so very true when you have taken your time to train your children in the way of the Lord. Just like children can be a blessing, so also can they be a curse and which ever way it's going to be, it's all up to you. Prophet Eli was a prophet of the Lord but he ended his life with a curse, not because he sinned against God, but because he didn't train his children right.

We are in the evil days and the society is filled with products from our homes as parents. If the society is not working as it should then it's because you are not parenting as you should. When we seek the Kingdom of God here on earth as we always ask in the Lord's prayers (Matthew 6:9-13), then we should put our action into what our mouth professes. It's not up to God to bring His Kingdom here on earth because He Kingdom is already everywhere; it's up to us to live the Kingdom of God here on earth and teach our children to do the same.

"Because the Lord Seeks Godly Offspring" is another book that I present to you for launching today. I crave your prayers on this book and I pray you bless it for me. I will also appreciate that you launch this book for me by purchasing copies of it from the links below. Don't just get copies for yourself, get for your friends and loved ones too. May the Lord bless you as you uphold me in doing what pleases the Lord.

Sometimes the only link between us and our breakthrough is knowledge. When God's said my people perish for lack of knowledge, He sure knows what He is talking about. Although in Jeremiah 33:3 the Lord says, "Call on me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know," but do we really call on Him? And if we do, what do we ask Him to reveal to us? When you read the book Stressless Toil, you will discover that there is a seed of greatness locked down inside of you. It's not just the discovery of this seed that is important, but how to nurture this seed to grow is also important in order not to kill the seed of greatness in you. Ears have not heard and eyes are yet to see what the Lord has stored up in you and for you. When you seek God truly, you will find Him and when you obey and follow His instructions for your life you will live in abundance even in the midst of scarcity.

And so I present the book "Stressless Toil" to you and yet another labor fulfilled in the vineyard of God. I seek your prayers and blessings on this book and I will appreciate that you launch this book by purchasing copies of the book from the links provided below. And may the Lord bless you ever so abundantly in Jesus name.

I really wish to thank you for taking the time to go through this post and launch these books for me. May the Almighty God do great things in your life that you will always look back and bless Him for. May He honor you and yours as you have honored me today and bless all that you lay your hands to do in Jesus mighty name.

Tomorrow we will continue with our regular post and by the grace of God we will live a continuous life of blessings. I crave your indulgence to have this books displayed on the blog or somewhere on the posts shared, may be once or twice a week so that those who wish to make purchases after today can access the links easily. God bless you all richly. Do have a fabulous Valentine celebration.

Monday, 13 February 2017

It’s a new week and a new reason to thank God. My last post
triggered a thought in me which I want to share on today’s post.

In a lot of countries in the western world, polygamy is not
allowed by law. So a man cannot marry two wives at the same time. But my
country Nigeria is a multi-religion country and because other
religions that exist here permit multiple wives, there is no law prohibiting multiple marriages in one. And because
there is no law prohibiting polygamy, even Christians are found in the mix. So
today I will be sharing on the "Rights of the First Wife."

The fact that we have found a handful of polygamous
marriages in the Bible, some so-called Christians have rested on that fact to
bound themselves with the chains of polygamy and all the troubles and
challenges that accompanies it.

It’s important to understand and appreciate the fact that
if a man's wife dies and he marries another wife, that is not polygamy and the new wife is
the only wife in the marriage so there is no right of first wife at play in this situation. This is different from a divorce situation and its different from a polygamous setting. But
if your husband married another wife while you are still alive, I am sure this
is for you and I will encourage that you read this.

Genesis 16 tells us the story of how Abraham became a
polygamist when he took his wife’s maid servant and got her pregnant in the
quest to have a child and so she became maid/wife by default. But in Genesis 17 God visited Abraham with a deep
message which says, “Walk before me and be blameless.” These first few lines of God to
Abraham are very deep in meaning, but that is not the focus for today.

Genesis 17:15-22 carries my message for today’s post. In
the course of God’s conversation with Abraham He mentioned Sarah and the promise
of a child to her. Even in a good old age of 90yrs, Sarah will still give birth
to the promise of God to Abraham fulfilled in flesh; she will give birth to a son to be
named Isaac. As far as Abraham was concerned, Ishmael was good enough a son to
be a bona fide blessing carrier, but that is not so with God. This is because a covenant
child must come from a covenant wife. Sarah is the wife of Abraham’s youth, she
is the favor bearer in the life of Abraham and as such she is the one to give
birth to God’s favor in the life of Abraham. God said in Genesis 17:20-21 that
sure He will answer Abraham’s request and bless Ishmael, but as for the
establishment of His covenant with Abraham was concerned, that will only happen through Sarah. This tells us how detailed God can be with the issue of His laws. It wasn’t just about
bringing His covenant to pass in the life of Abraham, but the channel of making it
happen also mattered to God.

Genesis 29:15-35 tells us the story of how Jacob married
two wives outside of his will. He loved and worked for Rachael, but he was
handed Leah. If only Jacob had prayed, he might have understood why God let
that happen, but silly Jacob was blinded by love and so he labored additional
7yrs for love not worth it. But one thing that didn’t pass my eye in that story is found in
Genesis 29:31, and it reads, “When
the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachael was
barren.” Did you notice the rights of the first wife playing out in this
story too? The first wife who was the wife of Jacob’s youth was the wife favored
by God. She was the one the Lord chose to open her womb. Could this be mere
coincidence or it's God speaking to our hearts through these occurrences?

Malachi 2:13-14
which I always love to make reference to says, “Another thing you do: You flood
the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays
attention to your offerings or accept them with pleasure from your hands. You
ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the
wife of your youth.” From this passage God
is not acting as a witness between the man and his wife, because there is the
possibility of the man having many wives. But God is acting as a witness between the man and the wife of his
youth; that very first wife that God blessed him with and gave him to marry, love and care for.

If you are indeed the wife of your husband’s youth I
congratulate you so very much. You might not be the one loved by your husband,
but you are the one recognized by God. It is in you that God packaged all of
the favor of your husband’s life (Proverbs 18:22). This is the right of the first wife being displayed here.

I don’t mean to talk down on those outside of this
category who happen to fall with the second wife category. We are all created by God and despite our shortfalls, challenges and circumstances surrounding our marital situation, we all are and will always be
blessed by God. But from what we are discovering in the Bible there is a
special accolade being given to the wife of his youth. There is a special
recognition by God being bestowed on the wife of his youth; those who fall within the first wife category, and that is what
this post is showing to us.

Are you a wife of his youth and you feel like giving up and
throwing in the towel just because your husband does not love you but loves
another, understand that you are the one God reckons with as your husband's wife; you are the
one God is favoring as your husband's wife; it is your seed that bear God’s covenant to your
husband; you are God’s choice and He loves. The moment you give up on that
marriage, the moment you give up on your husband, that is the moment you give
up God’s best for you; that is the moment you give up your rights as the first
wife, the wife of his youth.

If you dear to persevere, you will dance like Sarah danced
and those who laughed at you and said you were a fool for staying in that bondage called marriage, will rejoice with you and wish they were you. Those who mocked you will marvel at what God will make happen in your life and marriage. Remember,
after all that Leah suffered, she eventually became the only wife after the
death of Rachael. She had the last laugh. That and more is your testimony when
you hold on to God’s love and fight on your knees for what God has blessed your
life with which is your marriage.