(Closed) Making “executive decision” re: bridal shower?

I’m the maid of honor in my younger sister’s wedding, and this is the first wedding I’ve ever been in. When my sister was the maid of honor in my wedding, most of the girls had experience being BMs and were very responsive, helpful, etc. Except for my two younger cousins, who I warned her not to have in her wedding, because they were uncooperative in many ways.

My sister has 6 bridesmaids — me, her Future Sister-In-Law, her good friend, our two cousins (sisters) and one younger cousin who is only 17. Her mom (my godmother) often responds on her behalf, which is fine.

I’m trying to plan the bridal shower, which really needs to be booked ASAP. Future Sister-In-Law has been beyond responsive and helpful. My sister’s friend was responsive, but no longer is. My cousins are, as expected, completely unresponsive. I’ve done all the legwork on this, and feel at this point that it’s the rest of the bridesmaids’ job to pay for whatever “choice” I pick (Me, Future Sister-In-Law, and my godmother all agree on one place) since they had a week to have a say in it. I plan on booking the place this afternoon.

Am I right in this? Or am I supposed to track them down to get their input. Just FYI, it’s not like I’ve sent everyone 1000 emails. We had one email exchange to choose the date, and now this one to choose the place between two different places.

If you three agree, go for it. You’re the Maid/Matron of Honor, you do make some decisions. And you do have input, just not from all of them. As long as it’s not crazy crazy expensive, I think you’re good to go.

I would email them one more time and firmly say that now is the time you’re making a decision and if they aren’t ok with it they need to let you know by 5 pm tomorrow with another suggestion, or something like that. If you really have no time to wait, I’d go ahead and do it. But in my opinion, I think you should write one last email.

I think if you are expecting them to contribute, you should wait and get their input. I would e-mail them and tell them you are considering booking the place you mentioned and it would be approx $x dollars per person, if you have a problem with that, please respond to be by this date…Give them a few days to respond and if they don’t, its on them. I don’t think there is a problem with you deciding where to have it, but if you want them to pay, they should have the ability to voice concerns regarding the cost.

@star_dust: I second this. Give them another 12 hours or so to respond. Be clear in the email that if they don’t respond by the deadline they have no say. That way, nobody can say that you disregarded their opinion, etc. I’m sorry that they are being so flaky

@hotchildinthecity: I would go ahead and book the one you like, but be prepared to cover it just in case they don’t want to help. Because they haven’t given input they may have no intentions on helping cover the expense. My sister and Future Sister-In-Law covered the expense of mine, and my other BM’s didn’t do a thing.

Have you all agreed what portion you’re each going to pay? When it comes down to money, I would double make sure everyone knows what they’re agreeing to and make sure no one has any issues with it, otherwise, you and others may have to pick up more than your portion of the tab; especially if some of them weren’t in on the final venue decision.

I’ve never been a member of a wedding party, but I did end up picking up a portion of the tab for a friend’s bridal shower and bachelorette party because 3/4 of her wedding party took off before the end of the parties and left the Maid/Matron of Honor with the bill and no extra cash.

My suggestion – make as sure as you can that everyone is in agreement with the plan and what is expected (both monetary and non-monetary) of them…then just cross your fingers everyone holds up their end of the bargain.

@kimberlyr22: I haven’t really had any input from anybody, aside from my sister’s Future Sister-In-Law. And without going too far into it, money is absolutely not even a vague factor in her decision. My sister’s friend is also well aware of costs and such, so this shouldn’t be a problem. My 17 y/o cousin’s mom will be covering the cost and she is fine with it.

My two cousins who are sisters are the wild card. Apparently they refused to contribute to my bridal shower when it came time to pay. So even if they agree to it, they still may not pay when it comes to the actual day and I am aware of this.