Shandai’s Story…

I have been suffering with a mental illness since I was 10. I was abused emotionally, mentally, and physically at the hands of people who were supposed to guide me in the right direction, and the impact on my life has been extensive. I was a very intelligent child, but when teachers noticed a difference in me, I started trying to be invisible. Social situations, including school, were torture.

In my late teens I quit school and moved back to Huron County. My emotions were out of control and I was doing things I normally would not have. I was drinking heavily while on medication and hanging out with toxic people. I did not understand the damage I was doing to myself.

I finally realized I needed help when I started losing loved ones, family, and friends, because I was pushing them away. I was waiting for someone to save me and every time someone tried I pulled them under with me. When they left I couldn’t understand why. Several years have passed now and I still struggle daily with my anxiety and depression. It’s a fight to get out of bed and I feel like panic is going to eat me alive sometimes, but recently l have been able to make a number of major changes to my life.

In 2015, I lived in a very toxic environment and thinking things were hopeless. With help from my CMHA HP (Canadian Mental Health Association Huron Perth) case worker I was able to move to a place of my own. I did a placement with CMHA HP through my education program and I am learning so much about myself and the world around me. I have realized mental Illness doesn’t have to be a source of shame.

Working with CMHA HP has inspired me to go to school so I can be a social worker and make a difference. My journey continues on a daily basis and I am grateful for all the help I received from the people around me. CMHA HP has been helpful in my progress and success. Despite everything that’s happened in my life I am growing as a person. While I still need help I am not afraid or embarrassed to admit it anymore