I’m Still Alive (Part 1)

I thought I would do a couple (or maybe a few?) blog posts to bring everyone up to speed on where I’ve been and where I am now! I don’t want them to be too long, so we’ll see how it goes. 😉

My very last blog post on here was over 3 YEARS ago! Yikes! Anyone still with me? That post was about technology and how I would not let my smartphone (which is now an iPhone 7, by the way… oh how things change!!) rule my life. I had three things I was going to try and do that year to make sure my family knew they were my priority and not social media and my phone. So 3 years later, how have I done? Well, I do NOT put my phone in the bedroom when I get home at night, but I also no longer get home at night. More on that later… The second two I think I actually do ok with. When we’re at a restaurant or I’m in the passenger seat, I generally don’t look at my phone unless I am looking something up that directly relates to why we’re out, etc.

But, all that to say, the real focus of this blog has always been weight loss. So that is where I would like to really begin with catching everyone up. In the summer of 2011, I had hit my goal weight on the SlimGenics plan and moved from Minnesota to Austin, TX. This is where life began to change and instead of blogging about it (which I probably should have), I chose to suffer alone because I was ashamed that I was gaining the weight back. It started out slowly, but a big life change like moving across the country with a 2-yr old and starting over can be stressful, and lonely.

I have always been an emotional eater (and probably always will be). I struggle MIGHTILY in this area. No matter how many times I say I will take my worries to God instead of eating, I eventually find myself seeking food for comfort. And not just food, of course, but carbs. Sugar. Bread. All the good bad stuff.

So, to recap:

Fall 2010: Start SlimGenics plan at 260 lbs (highest 283 lbs)

Summer 2011: Reach goal weight of 160 lbs

Summer 2011: Move to Austin, TX from Twin Cities, MN.

Fall 2012: Weight back in the area of 240 lbs (I honestly don’t remember exactly but I remember feeling desperate to realize I had gained back all but 20 lbs)

It was at this point that I felt truly helpless and fairly well hopeless. I honestly believed I would never be able to control this and I would remain overweight forever. I believe this was the first time in my life that I suffered from depression and I just gave up. No matter how much I believe with my head that my self-worth is NOT tied to my weight, my heart just wasn’t on board and I truly hated myself. I felt like a complete and utter failure.