After their stunning first work, the second album by the British females-only band is finally out and it carries the interesting title „The Probability Theory Proven Wrong". Being an enthusiast of their previous record, I wanted to grab the opportunity and interview the mastermind of the project, Mandy Gauss, who used to be a Metal Storm user herself. Unfortunately she told me that she doesn't do interviews. She claims them to be bad for her karma. Luckily she did grant me a song-by-song interview over the phone. Hoping to sneak in a few other questions after all, I accepted.

Mandy: Please don't waste my time with these meaningless catchphrases celestial child. Get to the point.

B: Very well then, the first song off your newest release is 'Analysis Of Random Phenomena'. Please tell me something about it.

M: There's not much to say about this one.

…

B: Er, maybe you can tell at least a bit more about it than that?

M: [sighs] The song came about as the girls and me were practicing and talking about random things. Dead rabbits, vitamin pills, vibrators, just the usual random things girls talk about - you wouldn't know anything about that - and Alexandra [Fibonacci, bassist] suggested we record a song about the depths of meaning that can be achieved, even through such random topics.

B:Dead rabbits and vibrators... I see. Well then, next is 'Dance To The Loga-Rhythm'. How did this song come to be?

M: That's because I'm currently having my menstruation cycle. It makes me moody.

B: Wow, that's not an answer you get very often.

M: It's just blood and hormones. I think people should be able to talk openly about such matters.

B: Fair enough, so next is 'Arithmetic Progression'.

M: Ah yes, that one. I don't really like it. I know, that's not something you hear often from band members, but it's the truth and I never say something that isn't the truth, I just don't roll that way. Alexandra and Fiona [Euclid, drums] really wanted to do a song that starts out slow and keeps getting faster and heavier and Fiona wanted to end at least one song with a drum solo. It's on the album because of a compromise.

B: It's refreshing to not hear a musician drool over their newest baby for once, so at least there's that. So what did you get out of the compromise?

M: A bottle of Chardonnay.

B: I suppose there have been worse trade-offs in the history of mankind. What about 'Interlinking Sinus Wave And Sinuses In Anatomy'?

M: Well, mostly the song goes back and forth between the happy-go-round and the really dark, heavy piano and drum parts, right? The effect we wanted to achieve on this one was kind of, how should I say it... a mingling of the feeling when you can just let your thoughts float on a wave of positive thinking and harsh reality. What's more real than our friggin' anatomy, eh?

B: You've got a point there. Next is a very emotional piece with a lot of great acoustic guitar work, 'Two Parts Of A Colon'. So, two dots, one above the other, what does this metaphor stand for?

M: What?? [Thinks for a moment] Oh, you thought the song's 'bout the punctuation mark? No, it's the section of the large intestine extending from the cecum to the rectum and our daily supper's long but calm journey through it. We think this part of our body doesn't get the respect it deserves, even though it's more important than some others, like the kidney, or male nipples.

B: I suppose it's not the body part most people like to talk about the most...

M: Exactly, and that shows us what's wrong with the world. I say respect should be given where respect is due.

B: Let's just continue then. 'Sliding On An Abacus' is one of the most interesting songs of the album in my opinion. I can't quite place the Asian-sounding instrument you're using on it though. What is it?

M: It's a Diyingehu. My dad brought it back from a business weekend in China, back when I was still a small girl. It was collecting dust and I thought it'd be a shame not to use it.

B: I like its sound a lot. How are the chances of hearing more of it on your next CD?

M: Nonexistent. Actually we wanted to do a second song with it, but it broke during the recording of that other song.

B: Wow, that really is a shame... What about the next song, 'Disintegration Of A Vector'?

M: It's about a mosquito that's slowly being ripped apart. I hate mosquitoes, they should die.

B: I can understand that, who likes them?

M: The song starts with a memorable bass lead. That's the mosquito. During the song that bass lead is frequently repeated, but it keeps being interrupted by this really sharp guitar riff. That's the human, ripping pieces off of the mosquito which then gets shorter and shorter. The song then ends with a single, deep and mournful bass note. The stupid insect is dead.

B: I guess you really do hate mosquitos. Next up is 'Log 0'.

M: That song is an error.

B: Excuse me?

M: That song is an error.

B:What do you mean by that? In what way?

M: It's just how it is. I can't say any more about it.

B: That's a shame, I thought it was a pretty interesting one.

M: An error.

B: Ok, ok, got it. What about 'The Finite Element Method (FEM)' then? I hope that one isn't an error as well?

M: No, not at all. How should I explain it? It is a numerical technique for finding approximate solutions of partial differential equations as well as of integral equations. The solution approach is based either on eliminating the differential equation completely, or rendering the PDE into an approximating system of ordinary differential equations, which are then numerically integrated using standard techniques such as Euler's method, Runge-Kutta, etc.

B: ...Ah. I'm not quite sure if I understand that.

M: There are many people who don't. Another thing that shows how degenerate modern society is.

B: Well then, the second to last song, 'Method Of Exhaustion'.

M: Yes, Fiona wrote that one. In it you can hear her pounding on the drums really furiously. In a quite monotonous way too actually, and towards the end of the track, after five minutes of super-fast, yet repetitive pounding away you can actually hear her slowing down. It's because she was exhausted by then.

B: We've arrived at the last question, 'Ever-Changing Date Of Birth'. What is this about?

M: Do you know any people who have their birthday every day?

B: Um... To be honest, I don't think I do.

M: Exactly, most people don't. That's because we're pretty rare. With this one I wanted to raise the awareness of the fact that people like us really exist.

B: You can't be serious here. I mean, I'm pretty sure you must've been born on a certain date. And that date occurs only once a year. It's not possible to have multiple birthdays.

M: This is exactly the ignorance I'm being confronted with nearly every birthday I have and it's the reason for this song. There are in fact people who have their birthday every day, because different parts of their core being are born - or born anew - with every new day. It's a spiritual concept that you probably don't understand because of how much society has dulled your senses. Your cognitive abilities too, also your intelligence.

B: Uh, ok, let's just leave it at that I suppose.

M: It's just another indicator of how low our race has fallen.

B: I don't think I can agree with that-

M: -because you're not the brightest candle in the room.

B: -but if that's how it's intended everyone can just have a listen and decide for themselves. Thank you for your time Mandy, this conversation was pretty... interesting. Do you have any last words for our readers?

M: Hm, let me think on this one for a moment... Actually no, I can't think of anything. I think my music itself says everything that needs to be said.¨

Don't forget to also check out Forty-Two Tits previous masterpiece, 'Our Days Are Numbered'.

That was a fun read, I'm going to have to check this out. She really seems like an interesting person but that gal has a serious superiority complex, she needs to dial it down a little, let's hope the music justifies the arrogance.

The famous Forty-Two Tits. I somehow wish that the suicide note one of them left here was indeed real Jokes aside, their music needs to be checked out. EDIT: This stuff on their MySpace page sounds very promising.

ErnilEnNaur - 01.04.2011 at 11:02

When not on PMS, Mandy Gauss is actually a really nice girl. I met her once after a gig, she invited me backstage and gave me loads of stuff, including a used tampon. Best day ever...

B: Wow, that really is a shame... What about the next song, 'Disintegration Of A Vector'?

M: It's about a mosquito that's slowly being ripped apart. I hate mosquitoes, they should die.

B: I can understand that, who likes them?

M: The song starts with a memorable bass lead. That's the mosquito. During the song that bass lead is frequently repeated, but it keeps being interrupted by this really sharp guitar riff. That's the human, ripping pieces off of the mosquito which then gets shorter and shorter. The song then ends with a single, deep and mournful bass note. The stupid insect is dead.

When not on PMS, Mandy Gauss is actually a really nice girl. I met her once after a gig, she invited me backstage and gave me loads of stuff, including a used tampon. Best day ever...

+1
Best comment in here

@All: By the way two friends of my saw this interview and loved it and want to actually make the music for this band with me! While I can't actually promise anything yet, this might very well happen. Some of the songs will be influenced directly by the answers to them in this SBS, for example 'Disintegration Of A Vector' for which the lyrics have already been written. We also already have some ideas how to make what I have for 'Dance To The Loga-Rhythm' better and have some ideas for 'Log 0'. Of course Metal Storm will be the first to know when we have some stuff

@All: By the way two friends of my saw this interview and loved it and want to actually make the music for this band with me! While I can't actually promise anything yet, this might very well happen. Some of the songs will be influenced directly by the answers to them in this SBS, for example 'Disintegration Of A Vector' for which the lyrics have already been written. We also already have some ideas how to make what I have for 'Dance To The Loga-Rhythm' better and have some ideas for 'Log 0'. Of course Metal Storm will be the first to know when we have some stuff

How is it going with the band? I'm really interested to hear the songs.

@All: By the way two friends of my saw this interview and loved it and want to actually make the music for this band with me! While I can't actually promise anything yet, this might very well happen. Some of the songs will be influenced directly by the answers to them in this SBS, for example 'Disintegration Of A Vector' for which the lyrics have already been written. We also already have some ideas how to make what I have for 'Dance To The Loga-Rhythm' better and have some ideas for 'Log 0'. Of course Metal Storm will be the first to know when we have some stuff

How is it going with the band? I'm really interested to hear the songs.