Thus far, annual maintenance programs and a tolerant physician keep me perking right along, so I don’t have to make treks to a medical facility very often.

When I do, my type A control freak kicks in and I prepare before this annual appointment. Got that list of meds, allergies etc printed and stuck in my tote. Labs require that I be hydrated to the degree of water-logged, so I guzzle water; lots and lots of water. (I think you get the picture about the fluids.)

I drove up to the parking garage at the medical center.

Without warning, there was a new computerized parking system. I lowered the car window, put the car in park and squinted to read the instructions that bounced off the display in the blazing morning sun. I am short, so I opened the car door, to lean in and attempt to reach a button that would vomit a slip of paper, raise the arm and let me in.

Some jerk in the car behind me began honking the horn for me to proceed. A middle finger salute was not an option since we have open carry in Texas. Gun nuts go to the Dr. too. I shrugged in what I hoped conveyed a gesture of confusion and turned my attention back to the contraption that refused me admittance.

By now, due to stress and over consumption of water, I was beginning to experience an urgency that had the potential to prove embarrassing. The idiot in the car behind me continued to blast on the horn. Mercifully, after attacking all the buttons on the parking contraption, the arm raised and I entered the garage.

There is such a thing as parking karma because the dolt behind me now had the pleasure of pissing off whoever was behind him blasting their horn.

I made a mad dash to the women’s room, eliminating the possibility of one of the required specimens. My veins fled to parts unknown, requiring several attempts to draw labs. My heretofore-normal blood pressure was off the chart and the Dr. was not buying the parking scenario.

Some things are like chocolate,vodka and parking systems do not require technological advances.