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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Open F-All Hours

Presumably some joker has erected this 'Businesses Open As Usual' sign during the ongoing, er, improvements to Margate's Lower High Street. Probably the same joker who's put a stuffed dodo in the window of the defunct M&S, now rebranded the Turnip Contemporary Project Space, along with what look like a few nostalgic pairs of undies, tastefully tarted up with neon lights.

Actually, this shot is very similar to one that appeared in last week's Gazunder under the headline 'Traders Fight To Save Town Centre Shops', about a petition to completely pedestrianise the street, which you will have read about here first (natch). The story also reveals how Margate Renewal Partnership has set up a new website aimed at getting developers to invest in the town.

A quick eyeball of the new site reveals that Margate is 'about to boom', and that the Old Town is 'becoming hip and fashionable'. The Turner Contemporary will, according to the fantasists at MRP, be 'an international art gallery of world class design celebrating the life and work of one of Britain’s best loved artists, JMW Turner'. No mention of stuffed dodos or illuminated pants. Or the fact that none of JMW Turner's works are likely to get within 100 miles to the place.

Of course, here in the Millionaires' Playground we're reduced to our now inevitable, council-inspired role as a port/landing strip/lorry park. The website crows: 'Major investment to radar and lighting at Kent International Airport by new owners Infratil to improve the longest and widest runway outside London, — one of the few capable of landing Jumbo 777's' (sic) — says we are ready for take-off.' It's enough to make you airsick!

Look the turner will be built and it will have turner paintings in it.How i agree with you Sue it seems the people of thanet are indeed Dodo's.Regeneration IS starting to work and the harbour arm devolpment is well under way.Bring it on....

Naieve people tend to defend a subject on the basis of their view of its intrinsic worth.

IE Modern Art is good and people who do not appreciate it are Dodos.

Planet Earth calling. Nature (and economics) imposes priorities.

We need to eat, to drink (!), to be warm, to be safe, to be sheltered.

We live in the age of internal combustion and three phase distributed elecricity. yet we have an education system which teaches people (how to be useless) subjects like "Drama Studies", "Media Studies", "Sociology" etc.

There is a madness gripping this land.

A symptom of it is that anyone could believe that an Art Centre should receive any sort of funding from public funds. But they also believe such funding should enjoy priority and publioc approbation.

We live in a country which has more "Counsellors" than it does members of the British Army. A mad country.

A country in which there are more students of drama studies than of electrical engineering. A country increasingly looking to Poland for plumbers and electricians. Looking to Rumania and Phillipines for railway signalling techs.

A mad mad country. Turner Centre in Margate if built will be a testament to the grip insanity has in this land.

OK then - tell us where we can read confirmation that it will have Turners in it. And which insurance company is going to be daft enough to cover them sitting in the middle of the North Sea? Not to mention Margate.

So what do anti-art centre critics propose....? All they ever suggest is defaulting to old seaside amusements....erm the ones that were so succesful that from the end of WW2 to the 1990s the trend for their appreciation went ever down......i.e. the area never got richer, always poorer. Where are all the brave people? There are some setting up businesses in the old town area of Margate, others are redeveloping old hospitals, theatres and jetties. I hope they all succeed. I hope the whingers clear out.

Doesn't any one think it odd that with the new regeneration conceived by TDC based on the cafe culture with a sophisticated 'Old Town Artistic Quarter' that the blurbfrom the Regeration Team is based on 'kiss me quick' slogans?

It seems that Turner's name has once again been taken in vain - as with the Turner Prize. Meanwhile Turner's own wishes, for which he left his works and money, for a Turner Gallery, Turner Medal, Turner Pensions etc. are being flagrantly ignored by the National Gallery, Tate and Royal Academy.

We used to have a perfectly good turner center in the middle of the big wheel, in Dreamland.Quite why they felt the need to remove it and then spend millions to replace it (without the big wheel this time), beats me!

The only thing I can find on the internet which categorically states there will be 'Turner exhibits' in the Turner Contemporary (note it does not say 'Turner paintings') is Thanet Council's own press release announcing the thing has been granted planning permission by them.

Paigle have been reported in the local papers as having had some difficulties with their contractors but seem to be promising that things will get back on track once that's sorted out. They have also been reported as applying for planning permission for more flats on the RSBH site so that would not suggest they are going away. But I agree it all sounds like there's something fishy going on and I hear that although last year they were in the frame to buy the Dreamland site off Jimmy's mob it's now going to a South African company.

Victoria Pommery has stated time and time again, there WILL be artworks by Turner at TC. Indeed, the past few talks by David Chipperfield and the rest of the TC staff have all repeated this fact. The top floor of the centre is being designed as a 'Turner Sanctuary' - not sure what more they can do to assure people that there WILL be work by the man himself.

Theres alot about this, including audio recordings of these meetings at Turneroundmargate.com

Oh yes, strike a light, they are in the Tate! and there was everyone thinking they were in Bar 26 what were they thinking... I guess the plan is Victoria and co will march into the Tate, shotguns blazing and the motor running out front (well she has been in Margate a while now) flipping heck...

Well Brenda.Turner has been running workshops for the local community(children and Adults)for years now.I have been taking my children and we have had great fun art workshops on the beach in Droit House etc and they have involved local schools and colleges including King Ethelberts in Birchington The Beaney and Stour Arts.All the events are free so accessable by all.

The real question here is, given the options in the southeast is Margate a place where anyone would want to go to for a day out, with or without Tate Turner or Turners? Having looked at the plans for the Turner what struck me most is that the actual gallery space doesn’t appear to be any bigger than the existing Marks and Spencer.

Overheard in Thanet

Is your hot chocolate gluten free?Man at kioskJust wait til I get hold of yer, yer cunt. Yer fuckin' door won't save yer!Man on phone in streetThere were dead bodies everywhere at my fuckin' birfday do. No, seriously, my missus had to give one bloke CPR!Man on phone in streetYer can't smoke in a petrol station can yer? Fuck it, I'm gonna light up anyway. If I blow meself up I'm gonna charge you compensation!Woman to staff member at petrol stationWhat happened to all those Socialist Workers eh? They joined the bloody Labour Party, that's what!Man to woman in WaitroseSo I grabbed the fuckin' potato peeler and stabbed the cunt.Man sitting outside barTwitter? That's the bit between a bird's twat and her shitter, isn't it?Man on trainYou know the medicine they give us was invented by the Germans in WW2 for their troops, so they could be shot?Man on streetYeah, well, he's a fucking bald headed cunt.Man at Margate football matchYou better choose your sweets, inch yer! I'm not a bleedin' psychic, inn I?Woman to small childI like haring but I don't like it when the dog just bites into it an' it fuckin' screams and then you 'ave to go an' chop it.Man in restaurantI'm a registered businessman!Man on phone in streetI luv 'im, even though 'e raped me an' bit me. 'Cos 'e respecks me.Woman talking to man in streetChild to baboon in animal park: 'Ello!Mother: Don't talk, MatthewChild: Why?Mother: 'Cos it's an animal.

If you come on and start having a go at Margate, it immediately puts everyone's shackles up.

Man talking about the warm-up act at the Alexei Sayle gig at the Theatre Royal, Margate'We are not expecting widespread flooding; however precautions have been deployed and we are doing our upmost to ensure all areas are secure and protected.'Thanet Council press release

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The Thanet Daily is a humour/satire/local gossip blog based on the Isle of Thanet in Kent. Opinions expressed on this site may not be suitable for minors, wilting flowers, or duffers. The content, opinions and comments contained in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of its author(s), fictional or otherwise. The Thanet Daily accepts no responsibility legal or otherwise for their accuracy of content. The Thanet Daily is not responsible for the content of external internet sites. Actually, if truth be told, the whole thing is a crock of shit.