How would you annoy Voldemort?

I did not come up with any of these ways to annoy Voldemort. I got them from Mugglenet.

Completed 0 of 3 questions.

1

How would you distract Voldemort from searching for Horcruxes?

Choreograph an artistic dance interpretation of his life and struggle for power and then force him to watch it.

Conduct a séance and pretend to channel the spirit of his mother.

Tell him he's been a "naughty boy."

Pretend to be the Sorting Hat and apologize - apparently you were wrong, and he was meant to be in Hufflepuff.

Call him Ickle-Voldykins...and then run. Fast.

Ask him to guess which hand the last Horcrux is in....admonish him for cheating if he uses Legilimency.

Tell him you know where Harry is hiding, and Apparate before providing further details.

Dress up as Dumbledore and say you faked your own death.

Start an argument about Harry Potter shipping.

Tell him he's adopted and that he's really Hagrid's other half-brother.

Tell him Harry is his son and ask him if he's sure he wants to go through with Book 7 now, since it's become "soooo Star Wars."

Tell him one of his Death Eaters is actually a member of the Order using Polyjuice Potion - but refuse to tell him who it is. If he gets rid of some Death Eaters in the process of figuring this out, then all the better for Harry!

Tell him that one of his enemies is plotting against him in the Forbidden Forest.

Tell him all about your enemy/rival and how he's nothing compared to them. Perhaps he'll go after them rather than Harry.

Tell him his plastic surgeon did a terrible job with the "red-eyed snake look," and that he should've had the self confidence to age gracefully.

2

Now how would you annoy Voldemort?

Please select all that apply.

Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

Laugh at him.

Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

Knit him things. Really hideous things.

Dance the Funky Chicken.

Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

Be cheerful.

When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'

Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there...

Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!

Buy him a stress ball.

Call him Tommy-boy.

If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

Say he 'looked better under the turban.'

Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.

Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

Tell him you know this great therapist in London....

Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

Steal, snap and bury his wand. Tell him Lucius did it.

Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'

Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

Cuddle him at random moments.

3

And some of these...

Please select all that apply.

Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'