As moms, self-care sounds great in theory. I mean, of course we all want to take a relaxing hot bath every night followed by a charcoal face mask, mediation time set to classical music, or whatever else floats your boat. The reality? Your bathtub is full of your child’s squeaking toys, bedtime lasted two hours tonight and you’re beat, and your kid flushed all your face mask packets down the toilet last week … so there goes that.

It can be easy to see why self-care can take a backseat for many moms, but with Mother’s Day being only 14 days away, we’re going to help you change that. The truth is, self-care doesn’t need to be a complicated time-consuming project. It can be little activities here and there that can shift your mindset.

Natalie Thomas, a mom of two and blogger at Nat’s Next Adventure, says incorporating self-care into her routine has made all the difference. “Moms are nurturers by nature,” she explains. “But when we’re on empty, everyone suffers, which is why it’s vitally important to practice some self-care. I find that even 30-60 minutes to myself for a walk, a book or a glass of wine with a friend can do wonders for my outlook on life. I come back refreshed and ready to tackle both the mess and the magic that make up motherhood.”

To give you some easy pampering ideas just in time for Mother’s Day, we’re sharing 14 helpful tips from Sara Robinson’s new book, Self-Care for Moms. Challenge yourself to do one self-care activity a day as a countdown to Mother’s Day. Enjoy!

14. Apply Great-Smelling Body Lotion

How many days do you look at your skin and think, Ugh, so dry or I miss that youthful glow. Chances are your skin needs some good hydration, and applying lotion is a great self-care option to help with this. As simple as this is, moisturizing is one of those steps that moms often end up skipping. How often have you rushed through a shower, grabbed the lotion, and then stopped because someone needed you? Probably too many times to count, no matter what the ages of your kids. For this self-care activity just pick your favorite lotion, and take the time to massage it into your skin. Do your whole body, savoring the physical sensations.

Applying lotion can also be an exercise in mindfulness. Pay attention to the sensations you’re experiencing, and stay present in the moment. By focusing on what you’re doing, you can clear your mind, even if it’s for only 5 minutes at a time. Though you can do this activity with any lotion, a lotion with a scent you enjoy is best, so that the effects of the activity last beyond 5 minutes. The fragrance will remain on your skin and can help create positive emotions after this self-care activity is complete.

13. Do 5-Minute Yoga

Yoga is a physical practice that is also a form of moving meditation. Adding a 5-minute yoga routine to the start or end of your day can ensure that you get consistent mental and physical self-care, and it’s been shown to have calming effects for adults and children of all ages. Consider inviting your family to join you!

In just 5 minutes, three yoga poses held for approximately 90 seconds each can leave you feeling strong, grounded, and calm. Kneel on the floor, using a mat or rug under you for comfort. Sit back on your heels, then reach your hands out in front of you and bend your body over so your chest is flat on your upper thighs: this is child’s pose with arms extended. After 90 seconds, slowly move to downward dog by keeping your hands flat on the floor, straightening your legs, and lifting your hips up. Ideally, your feet will be flat on the floor, and your legs and arms will be straight (like an upside down “V”). Hold this pose for 90 seconds, then walk your feet in to meet your hands, and slowly stand up. Finish with a standing mountain pose, feet hip-width apart with your hands resting on your chest in prayer position. Check online for videos showing the correct body positions. Be aware of your breathing as you complete your routine; refocus on your breathing if you become distracted. Be mindful of the experience, not on how well you’re doing.

12. Light a Candle and Breathe

If you’re having trouble focusing or centering yourself, you may find it helpful to light a candle and take 5 minutes to just breathe. To begin this mental and emotional self-care, find a comfortable place where you’ll be able to sit and breathe, uninterrupted. You may need to do this while your kids are still sleeping, or while they’re engaged in play, homework, or screen time. This activity is most impactful with a scented candle, as the aroma can help boost your mood. Light the candle and get comfortable in your seat; lie down if you prefer. Focus on your breathing, inhaling slowly and then exhaling slowly. Most people find it comfortable to inhale through their nose and then exhale deeply through their mouth. Do your best to focus on your breathing. Close your eyes if you like, and zone out. The aim is to clear your mind.

This can be a challenge, especially the first few times you do it. If you find your mind wandering, add counting to your breathing to help you focus. For example, breathe in and count to six, then breathe out and count to eight. You might also find that you can focus longer if you watch the flame of the candle—just be sure to blow it out when you’re done. Or continue to let the candle burn after this activity is complete; the scent can continue to boost your mood and may also act as a reminder to breathe and stay calm.

11. Sit Outside

The kids are fighting, someone is crying, you feel like you’re constantly nagging people. Sometimes don’t you just want to get out of your house? Thankfully there are many positive moments when you’re a mom, but when you’re feeling overwhelmed and especially over it, getting outside for 5 minutes can be a fantastic reset. A few minutes to sit still, connect with nature, and re-center can bring a more positive mood and outlook—and for some moms this time outside can be spiritual self-care too. While you’re out there, add in other quick self-care activities as well. Repeat affirmations, stretch, or read, and feel free to extend the 5 minutes if you’re able to.

If your kids are old enough, let them know you’ll be right back, then step outside. If they’re young, put them safely in their crib or play area, and bring your monitor outside with you. Depending on their age, you might put them in front of a favorite TV program or movie—if you have tweens or teens, they won’t even notice you’re gone! Sit outside, breathe in the fresh air, observe whatever is around you, and enjoy a cup of tea or coffee. Try adding this to your morning routine to start the day feeling focused and fresh. If you like, ask your kids to join you for this one. Simply invite them to sit (quietly) outside, help them notice what’s around them, and encourage them to breathe deeply and enjoy the sensory experience.

10. Make a Pitcher of Fruit Water

Staying hydrated is critical to your health and overall well-being. But if you’re struggling to drink enough liquid, or plain water is feeling a bit mundane, try taking 5 minutes each evening to make a pitcher of flavored water for the next day. Simply fill a pitcher with water, add your favorite fruit: chopped or sliced, fresh or frozen (try the flavor combos mentioned here), let the water steep overnight, then drink throughout the day. You can also make this in the morning, but you generally want to give the fruit at least 2 hours in the water to create a good flavor. Infused water can help curb sugar cravings, provide you with additional vitamins, and assist you with detoxing. Not only is this physical selfcare, but the infused water is nice to look at, and can help to create a more positive mood throughout the day.

Treat yourself to a new combination each day, or rotate through several standard recipes. Recipes to try include: orange, lemon, and lime; strawberry and kiwi (lime optional); pineapple and coconut; strawberry, lemon, and basil; raspberry and mint; and blueberry and orange. Be creative and use what you have at home, or add a few ingredients to your shopping list each week specifically for your water.

Fill your water bottle with the prepared fruit water at the start of the day, and aim to finish drinking it by lunch. Refill your water bottle, and plan to drink the whole bottle by dinner, refilling it from your pitcher one more time to get you through the end of the day.

9. Enjoy Your Morning Coffee

How often have you made coffee or tea and then spilled, misplaced, or forgotten it? Sadly, for many moms, savoring a morning drink may be a thing of the past. For emotional and mental self-care, commit to sitting down to drink your coffee or tea (or juice) in a way that’s enjoyable. Make your beverage (take advantage of an automatic coffee maker if you can) and sit and enjoy it out of a beautiful mug or cup. If you don’t have one you love, find one! Make this your morning cup, and let everyone know (nicely) that it’s off-limits.

You may need to get up early to enjoy this drink while it’s quiet, or let your family know that during a certain 15-minute window in the morning they’re not to disturb you. If the family is already up, be sure to set things up so that everyone is taken care of. For example, set out things for their breakfast, let them know where the things they need can be found, and then sit and enjoy your coffee. If your kids are old enough and can respect your 15-minute experience, invite them to join you, with their own beverages and mugs of choice, so that you start the day off together with self-care.

8. Listen to Your Music in the Car

When’s the last time you listened to music that you wanted to while you were in the car? It’s probably been a while. Whether you’re constantly listening to a movie soundtrack on repeat or a kid’s Pandora station, you’re singing songs your kids like, or you’re cringing over what your tween or teen is listening to, your music probably feels like a thing of the past. It’s time to change that, because music can boost your mood, and for many moms it’s an instant pick-me-up.

Let your kids know that you’ll be playing your music for 15 minutes, and when the time is up, you’ll put their music back on. Choose music that you love but that’s also kid-appropriate, and enjoy! Want to dance while you drive? Go for it, but do it safely. If the kids complain, tell them the 15-minute timer starts over. Get your self-care in! In addition to this mental and emotional self-care for you, you’re also showing your kids that your interests matter and are just as important as theirs. This is an essential lesson for you and for them. It’s important that they learn that everyone’s preferences have value and are worth making time for. Over time you’ll likely find music you can compromise on, and get more than 15 minutes of your music at a time.

7. Have a Dance Party

As you know, music can be a great mood booster and stress reliever. When you add dance to it, you add physical self-care to the mix! This physical self-care adds up to help you meet your weekly exercise goals, and will likely feel like mental and emotional self-care too. When you’re lost in dance, your mind won’t be focused on anything else, and it’s hard to be in a bad mood after a dance party because of the endorphins your body releases when you move. Now, while dancing should be a fun experience, your judgment about your perceived dance skills might get in the way. Kick that doubt to the curb; everyone can dance. The only rules are to move your body and have fun.

Dance parties can happen on your own, but are also really fun when your kids join in. Pick music you’ll all enjoy, or introduce them to your favorite music, and just move! You can encourage them to teach you a dance move, shadow each other and mirror each other’s moves, or just move however you’re inspired to. Having a dance party is a great way to shift the mood in the house when things are tense or dreary, or you just need to get going for something. These at-home dance parties will also help give you and your kids the confidence to dance in front of others, which is a great life skill to have. And while dancing for 15 minutes is great, you can dance for any amount of time and really reap the self-care benefits.

6. Play a Brain Game on Your Phone

Technology is all around us. Sometimes it can get a bit out of hand, like when you spend too much time on social media or are constantly plugged in. But being on your phone, even when your kids are around, doesn’t have to be a source of guilt! Be purposeful about how and when you use your phone, and instead of mindless scrolling or checking, use it for some mental stimulation and self-care.

There are many free apps and games that will work your brain. Love classic sudoku? There’s an app for that. Is mah-jongg more your style? There’s an app for that too! From traditional puzzles to Tetris-style video games, there are tons of ways to give your brain a workout, which is important to keep you sharp and mentally fit (and to try to combat “baby brain,” which seems to last well beyond the baby stage!). Playing games on your phone can become a big time-suck, so set a timer for 15 minutes and move on when the timer goes off. Challenge yourself by setting goals and trying new games, in addition to playing your favorites. Ask your kids for suggestions and introduce them to your favorite games, playing with them or against them for some fun family bonding and mental self-care for everyone.

5. Start a Group Text and Plan a Night Out

Spending time with your friends is a great way to experience social self-care, and while you probably can’t plan a night out with friends in 15 minutes, you can start the ball rolling. So get out your phone and your calendar and send a group text to your friends. In the first text, it’s helpful to not only mention that you’d like to get together, but to give some idea about the timing, and even details about the type of get-together. For example, let them know you think it would be fun to go to happy hour one weeknight next month. That way, people can start looking at specifics in their calendars. Say something like, “Let us know the dates that work for you as soon as possible, so we can firm it up and get it on the calendar.” You can even use an online calendar tool like Doodle or LettuceMeet to help you see everyone’s availability.

While a night out with your partner and other couples or a get-together with a group of your friends are both strong self-care choices, choosing to go with just your friends, especially if they’re parents, may be easier. If one half of the couple is going out, then ideally the partners can be home with the kids. If your partner has negative feelings about this, remind them about their self-care and encourage them to plan a night out with their friends, when you’ll be home with the kids. This way, you each get important time away with friends.

4. Declutter

For many moms, clutter is the bane of their existence: house clutter, school clutter, mental clutter…there’s just too much stuff! Take 30 minutes and try to tackle that one area of your home that makes you cringe when you look at it. Maybe it’s the spot where all the schoolwork accumulates, or the place where backpacks, shoes, sports equipment, and all the other things end up. Thirty minutes may not be enough to tackle the whole area, but it’s typically enough time to make a noticeable dent.

Start by tossing anything broken or unusable, recycle (or shred) the paper that’s not needed, and put anything that can be given away or sold in a bag. Then, when you’re left with only what should be in that space, work on organizing it in a way that makes sense, creating a spot for everything. If there’s not enough room, you may feel that you need more space or need to buy items to help you reorganize. While these things may be true, consider if you can remove anything else from the area first. Then, once you’ve pared down to only the essentials and have the space well organized, you’ll have a much easier time keeping the clutter away. Now when you look at this space, you’ll feel much better. If this is an area that your whole family uses, be sure to make it clear to them what’s allowed there and where things go so everyone can be involved in keeping this space clutter-free and organized.

3. Give Yourself a Facial

Doing an at-home facial can be a fun way to indulge. Set up your space to encourage maximum relaxation and enjoyment. Light scented candles or diffuse essential oils, turn on some music you enjoy, and close the door (lock it if you need to!). First, wash your face, removing any dirt and makeup. You can use an exfoliating facial cleanser or use a face wash for your skin type and exfoliate after (be gentle with your skin!). Then steam your face to help open up your pores. Boil water or fill a sink with very hot water, place a towel over your head and shoulders, and lean your face (carefully!) over the water, making sure the steam feels warm on your face, not hot. Feel free to add rose petals, essential oils, or an herb, such as rosemary, to the water for a lovely scent while you steam.

Next, do a facial mask, homemade (try 1⁄4 cup plain yogurt, 2 tablespoons honey, and a ripe banana mixed together) or store-bought, and then give your skin another treat by misting on a toner once your mask has been washed off. Add an anti-aging or nutrient serum if you like. Last, you’re ready to moisturize! Take your time on this final step, and gently massage your face as you apply the moisturizer. If you’d like, invite your kids or your friends to join you for this indulgent self-care experience!

2. Have Some Cozy Time

How good does it feel to put on your pajamas or coziest clothes and just relax? So good, right? But when’s the last time you did that? Use 30 minutes to feel comfortable and enjoy cozying up for some quiet time. This can be the perfect way to create feelings of calm and relaxation, and if you find time for it in the afternoon, it can help you recharge for the rest of your day.

To make the most of this time, put on your most comfortable clothes and find a spot where you can relax: your bed, a chair by a window, or even a spot outdoors. Maybe even get something extra luxurious, like chenille socks or a soft fleece blanket. Be sure that the temperature is appealing to you and that you’re physically comfortable in your space, and then read, listen to music, journal, or fill your half hour however you’d like. Your cozy time will be emotional self-care but may also be mental or spiritual self-care, depending on how you spend the time. Your kids might be able to join you for this activity, or you can have your cozy time while they’re out of the house or involved in something else. If your kids do join you, just like other self-care activities you include them in, set expectations for their behavior. If they can’t stick to the guidelines, they won’t be able to join. Help it feel like a privilege to join you in these self-care activities.

1. Add Self-Care to a Chore

Chores are generally not fun. They’re tasks we need to complete to help our house and life function. Chores can fall into the category of practical self-care, because you probably feel better when you have them done, like laundry, cleaning, or dishes. But you can enhance these chores by adding another self-care element to them. For example, watch TV while you fold the laundry; call a friend while you’re unloading and reloading the dishwasher; or listen to a podcast, audiobook, or music while you’re cleaning.

Essentially, this self-care activity gives you an appropriate time to multitask! Chores often have a mindless quality to them (because you’ve done them over, and over, and over), which means you’re probably on autopilot and have extra mental capacity to do something else while you’re getting the necessities out of the way. You may not enjoy your chores, but maybe they become more tolerable this way. You might even finish them more quickly because you’re adding an enjoyable element to them. This is also a great way to add more self-care into your routine. If you tend to spend an hour a day on chores, that’s an easy place to find an hour for self-care. Encourage your kids to add self-care to their chores too. For example, suggest that they listen to music with headphones while they clean their rooms. This just might lead to less arguing about chores and having them completed more quickly!

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