My
friend and I have known each other for over 5 years. For as long as she
can remember, doctors told her that she wasn't able to get
pregnant......something having to do with her cervix.....or ovaries. I'm
not sure.

Anyhow........she got together with her, now, husband and they got pregnant. I thought that, right there, was a miracle.

So all throughout her pregnancy she was telling me how she was going to breastfeed.

Her and her husband don't have a lot of money since they take care of her step daughter and her younger sister.

She
has a big family and her family is there for support and we gave her a
baby shower and she got a lot of nice things for the baby. And her
family helps her out when they can. They bought her things for the baby
throughout her pregnancy.

I told her since my son is 7 months old that I would give her his clothes since she was having a baby boy.

Well she had her baby last week.

This
is the part that pisses me off, not only did she smoke throughout her
entire pregnancy but as soon as she got home from the hospital she put
her son on formula.

She breastfed while in the hospital telling me she was going to continue breastfeeding when she was home.

Nothing is wrong with her or the baby that would cause her to stop. Nothing!! They are totally healthy.

I
never once said a word to her about how much I'm against pregnant women
who smoke and women who decide to formula feed just because they want
to.

I don't plan on telling her. Like I said in my title I try really hard not to judge but this whole thing just pisses me off!!

The
thing that is really sad is this is her MIRACLE baby and this is the
shit she is doing to him. If I had a miracle baby, I would take the
extra step to make sure that he would be as healthy as possible. Because
she smoked throughout her pregnancy, now there's a high risk of that
baby having asthma.

I'm
so pissed at her, not only will I NOT give her my sons clothes, but I
refuse to be her friend any longer!! She doesn't deserve it because she
is selfish!!

Wow I so disagree with you. I am a smoker and I have 4 beautiful children. Never smoke in my home, they are never around it and I am an amazing mom. Just because someone smokes does not mean they can't be a mother that is just stupid.

Quoting emmiesmommie422:

If she smoked during pregnancy and was going to smoke while nursing, it's all the better for her to not breastfeed. Look at it that way. I have broken 2 friendships over women who can't seem to quit smoking while pregnant. I was smoking 1 and half packs a day when I got pregnant with my daughter, the second I found out that I was pregnant was the second that I quit smoking. It has been 3 years and I have not smoked a single cigarette since. If I could do it, anybody can. Girls who say they just can't, need to just say they can't have babies.

wow I agre with you, I'm 46 years old ad never got pregnant, always wanted to but have a pelvic tilt and it never happened. But if it had I would have done everything possible to have a health baby. You are correct she is selfish.

by Anonymous 6

January 25, 2013 at 1:18 PM

I would feel the same way. Smoking is dangerous for everyone, especially babies. She's an idiot for that alone. As far as breastfeeding, eh. If she's stupid enough to be smoking, she shouldn't breastfeed b/c the ris of the crap in cigarettes passing through the breastmilk. Re-evaluate your friendship overall before cutting her off. Sounds like she needs an intelligent friend.

by Anonymous 6

January 25, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Sorry, but an "amazing mom" wouldn't selfishly put her health at risk by smoking. I watched my own mom and several other family members suffer with and die of COPD and lung cancer caused by smoking. It's not fun to see your mom die at a much younger age than necessary, and it's a slow, painful process.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

Wow I so disagree with you. I am a smoker and I have 4 beautiful children. Never smoke in my home, they are never around it and I am an amazing mom. Just because someone smokes does not mean they can't be a mother that is just stupid.

Quoting emmiesmommie422:

If she smoked during pregnancy and was going to smoke while nursing, it's all the better for her to not breastfeed. Look at it that way. I have broken 2 friendships over women who can't seem to quit smoking while pregnant. I was smoking 1 and half packs a day when I got pregnant with my daughter, the second I found out that I was pregnant was the second that I quit smoking. It has been 3 years and I have not smoked a single cigarette since. If I could do it, anybody can. Girls who say they just can't, need to just say they can't have babies.

Sorry, but an "amazing mom" wouldn't selfishly put her health at risk by smoking. I watched my own mom and several other family members suffer with and die of COPD and lung cancer caused by smoking. It's not fun to see your mom die at a much younger age than necessary, and it's a slow, painful process.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

Wow I so disagree with you. I am a smoker and I have 4 beautiful children. Never smoke in my home, they are never around it and I am an amazing mom. Just because someone smokes does not mean they can't be a mother that is just stupid.

Quoting emmiesmommie422:

If she smoked during pregnancy and was going to smoke while nursing, it's all the better for her to not breastfeed. Look at it that way. I have broken 2 friendships over women who can't seem to quit smoking while pregnant. I was smoking 1 and half packs a day when I got pregnant with my daughter, the second I found out that I was pregnant was the second that I quit smoking. It has been 3 years and I have not smoked a single cigarette since. If I could do it, anybody can. Girls who say they just can't, need to just say they can't have babies.

by Anonymous 2

January 25, 2013 at 1:46 PM

Wow, judgemental much. Just like the OP. The family members did it to themselves, not to you so stay out of it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry, but an "amazing mom" wouldn't selfishly put her health at risk by smoking. I watched my own mom and several other family members suffer with and die of COPD and lung cancer caused by smoking. It's not fun to see your mom die at a much younger age than necessary, and it's a slow, painful process.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

Wow I so disagree with you. I am a smoker and I have 4 beautiful children. Never smoke in my home, they are never around it and I am an amazing mom. Just because someone smokes does not mean they can't be a mother that is just stupid.

Quoting emmiesmommie422:

If she smoked during pregnancy and was going to smoke while nursing, it's all the better for her to not breastfeed. Look at it that way. I have broken 2 friendships over women who can't seem to quit smoking while pregnant. I was smoking 1 and half packs a day when I got pregnant with my daughter, the second I found out that I was pregnant was the second that I quit smoking. It has been 3 years and I have not smoked a single cigarette since. If I could do it, anybody can. Girls who say they just can't, need to just say they can't have babies.

if you are afraid for your best friends baby then since you two are best friends then talk to her about it. But you need to understand that you can't control her. It is not nice of you that you refuse to give her your ds baby clothes when you told her you would. Just talk to your freind.

by Anonymous 2

January 25, 2013 at 1:53 PM

Sounds like the govt. They wanna but in and run aspects of our lives. Butt out.