I GUESS I’M DOOMED: Rangel says you’re going to hell if you don’t support food stamps

New York Representative Charlie Rangel is an absolute beacon of morality. Holding himself to the highest ethical and spiritual standards, he has built a political career on a foundation of honor, charity, and good will. So, when he issues a proclamation claiming that Republicans who try to scale back government programs are headed to Hell, they’d better listen.

Sure, some people might say that Rangel is a lying tax cheat with a decades long history of corruption, but they’re just being picky. Rangel knows that God is watching us and, if we hope to measure up, we’d better give God more money for food stamps and social security.

“Anyone that’s familiar with the Bible – or anything like that,” Rangel said on MSNBC, “Jesus said that you’re going straight to Hell if you don’t treat the lesser of his brothers and sisters. And what did he say? He said he was hungry! You didn’t give him food stamps. He was thirsty, you didn’t purify the water. He was naked and you didn’t give him social security. And…and… God knows, he was sick and you didn’t give him comfort!”