How To Manage Without a Governess

A few weeks ago I shared that we may not have the servants and governesses of Miss Mason’s time, but we do enjoy advantages not available during her era. We, too, can “work wonders” if we are “convinced that wonders are demanded” of us. But exactly how do we “work wonders”? How do we overcome the challenges of managing a household while also homeschooling a kid or five?

The CMS Hostess team and a few of our friends have compiled our best practical tips for managing a household when you don’t have a governess or servant. Perhaps they can help you work some wonders in your life!

(Disclaimer: not every tip will be applicable to your life. Take what you need and discard the rest. No guilt. No stress.)

The Basics

Don’t Buy the Lies

“None of us have it all together. We all have strengths and weaknesses. My kitchen always has dirty dishes in the sink. I am hopelessly behind on laundry. And I frequently forget most everything. Even on my best days I can only manage some of my responsibilities well. If school is awesome and we have a hot meal for dinner then you better believe that the clothes are souring in my washing machine. None of us live a Pinterest-perfect life. Don’t expect it from yourself. You are finite.” Morgan

Ask for Help

“Hire out help if it’s possible. A housekeeper or even a mother’s helper can be just what you need to keep your head above water. If it’s just not in the budget, consider praying that God would send volunteer help your way. He is always faithful to provide just what we need!” Morgan

Take Care of Yourself

“My number one tip is to go to bed early. Getting enough (8 hours) of sleep helps me be clear-minded (or at least less cloudy) and more patient. Things just run smoother when I’m well rested.” Shawn

“I exercise in the morning. Running or walking outside is like Prozac to my mind. It’s so helpful, and a great start to my day.” Shawn

A Little Mother Culture

“Make time for Mother Culture! Read your Bible and pray in the morning. Take a nature walk every day. Take a break in the afternoon with a good novel. Practice brushdrawing with your children. Go to a local Shakespeare production. Have coffee with a friend. All of these things keep us from drowning in what is sometimes monotonous and draining work.” Morgan

Time Management

“As I’ve been embracing CM’s principle of ‘education is an atmosphere, a life, and a discipline’, I have been more conscientious and intentional about my own habits and discipline (or trying to remedy my lack thereof). Discipline isn’t an inborn trait. It takes a lot of work, and I’ve been working harder at it than I ever have before.” Jenny

First Things First

“Absolutely no input before output. Praise and prayer journal before even thinking of social media. I think we all see what a drain it is on us and functioning at full capacity.” Richele

“Though not wildly popular, getting up before my household to get in the Word and start my chores boosts my productivity.” Becca

“I wake up early, before everyone else to pray and read the Bible first thing in the morning. When my thoughts are fixed on the saving work of Christ and the word of God, it helps me focus my day on glorifying Him.” Shawn

“I’m up at 5:30 so I have had enough quiet time with my Lord, a walk in nature, and enough bean juice.” Michele

“Try to do all you CAN do, as early in the day as you can. Either you’ll be ready when chaos comes or you’ll have new found time later.” Allison

“During the school year, I try to stay off of all screens (email, IG, FB, Voxer, etc.) until we are finished with school. It helps me stay present mentally during our school day, and also prevents my day from slipping away from me.” Shawn

“Stay home more. It’s ok to say no to things. Your kids won’t die if they aren’t involved in every activity offered in your area.” Morgan

Lists

“Something as simple as a to-do list helps me get stuff done. I can’t rely on remembering or making time for things if they aren’t written down.” Allison

“My Traveler’s Notebook is my brain all-in-one central area.” Michele

“I think the Traveler’s Notebook/Bullet Journal is a brilliant system for organizing my life for short-term and long-term planning. I love that I can customize my traveler’s notebook to my needs to make it fully functional, portable, with no wasted space and no unnecessary clutter like a lot of other calendars/planners I have used in the past. I love the dedicated TN inserts so I can easily keep track of all the important things.” Jenny

Have a Plan

“I plan ahead–for the week, for the day, for each lesson, etc. It is so important to build a habit of looking ahead and planning for the things that are stressful in the moment.” Jessica

“Jotting a to-do list in bed at night ensures a good night’s sleep. Review your list in the morning.” Richele

“Getting up early before my kids and daily and weekly routines are what help keep me (almost) sane.” Emily

Schedules for the Win

“Having the schedule for morning lessons gives me ample time throughout the day to do other stuff.” Ashley

“The scheduling cards and episode have been a game changer.” Michele

“I created an ‘Ideal Day’ schedule in my bullet journal. It’s basically a time budget. Of course my day is never ideal but it keeps me from trying to do too much and helps me to create a little margin in my day. It also reminds me that if I spend half the day on Facebook, I will not have time to read, write, go outside, etc.” Morgan

Cleaning

Less Is More

“Purge the toys and twaddle books! Less stuff means less to clean up. We do this once or twice a year and the kids ask to do it now!” ????

“Declutter and organize.” Sherilyn

“One of the best things we ever did was get rid of 90% of the toys. I also limit their clothes and shoes. It makes cleaning so much easier.” Morgan

A Family Affair

“Teach your children to clean up after themselves.” Sherilyn

“Definitely involve kiddos in chores and home upkeep.” Shawn

“Spread the cleaning and cooking load amongst family members and throughout the year (meaning do your spring cleaning throughout the year).” Sherilyn

“How about a little expectation from the spouses? So much of household management falls on the shoulders of women, even in two income households. My husband has gotten into the habit of asking, ‘How can I help?’ It’s the most refreshing question; he knows I have it all worked out in my head and can help by helping me complete the mental list, and I don’t feel like a nag telling him what to do.” Sheri

Find a System that Works

“I assign my kids ‘zones; in our house. Every afternoon they have to clean their zone by picking it up (or tracking down the messy culprits), vacuuming, and wiping down surfaces. With all of us in our house every day, all day, a weekly cleaning is not enough. Then I keep up with deep cleaning chores by assigning them specific days of the week to be done. If I miss a week, it’s not the end of the world, but at least there is a plan.” Nicole

“I have a personal daily chore list and then an ‘extra’ chore per day list…vacuum upstairs on Mondays, bathrooms on Tuesdays, etc. A plan is what keeps me accountable. The boys also have daily chores they are responsible for which keep everything running.” Becca

“Fly Lady! I had read something a year or two ago from Fly Lady about habits and now having learned about Charlotte Mason I can see that Fly Lady is very CM! Short tasks and change in brain activities! I will admit that I didn’t have any habits established as far as keeping house, and I would need some help in coming up with a plan. Fly Lady does just that by breaking it down into manageable chunks. Oh, and the Fly Lady app is really great! It’s like a checklist of things for me to do that are broken down into daily and weekly tasks. I can even edit the tasks for my particular house. I highly recommend it for anyone who needs a little bit of outside help with establishing habits.” Bridgett

“I assign chores by term instead of rotating them by day or week. This allows a child to learn to do it well, and it saves me from having to re-teach it every other day because they forgot since the last time they did it.” Jessica

“I assign chores in little chunks, just like with school. For us, Tuesdays are just the toilets (they are divided among the kids). Wednesdays are sinks/mirrors, Thursdays are tubs/showers, etc. Daily tasks are divided among the kids and occur during one of our many school breaks.” Jessica

“I use FlyLady for my girls and I. We set a timer for the tasks and when it goes off, we’re done.” LaShawne

“The kids also do the dishes, sweep the floor, wipe counters, wipe toilets, take out garbage, feed dog, clean their rooms. In our house we have “morning jobs” and “afternoon jobs” where that list above is split up into those 2 times of the day.” Shawn

“Daily schedules written out for the kids including chores. Half of my energy is spent on reminding my kids to do what they’re supposed to do, so I’m trying to create ways to save my breath and instill more self-starting/assertiveness into my children! Birthdays have been a good time to introduce a new and heftier chore. Related to this: having a cleaning/housework schedule, and recruiting kids’ help on these tasks as well. What needs to be done on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis, and mapping all of that out on paper.” Jenny

“We do all of the above and have a family clean up on Sunday. All laundry is done and the house is clean for Monday.” Ashley

“I will say that the more I’ve cut back of extra activities and the more I’m home, the cleaning schedule isn’t such a big deal. It has become an ebb and flow in our week. Hard to explain, but cleaning schedules are a thing of my past. Now we all do a couple things each day and stay ahead of things just fine.” Brenda

“I would love to have a spotless house that is perfectly organized but the reality is that there are 7 of us living in this house, 24/7. I basically try to keep it at a ‘not gross’ level. Right now, that’s good enough.” Morgan

Laundry

“Teach the kiddos to do their own laundry! (My husband did this last year when I was gone for a weekend!) I have a laundry chart for which days are their laundry days. I do help a bit, especially with my 4 year old (all 3 girls do theirs together, but she has a hard time folding). I haven’t done their laundry since they were 7 or 8 years old.” Cherridon

“My boys are all in charge of doing their own laundry. They’re 6, 9 and 11. It’s not pretty, but I don’t have to do it.” Shawn

“The boys do their own laundry. The girls mix with mine if they get it to me, or they are on their own.” Michele

Kitchen

Meal Planning

“I sit down every weekend and plan my meals (including breakfast, lunch, and snacks) for the week according to what our schedule looks like. I have a list of favorite recipes and recipes I want to try that I choose from in my bullet journal. I also have a master grocery list so I don’t forget essentials.” Morgan

“I started once-a-month cooking in January. It’s brutal, but completely worth it. I was already the crockpot queen before that, but this has helped with the decision-making fatigue.” Nicole

“Meal planning and prepping. I’ve been keeping at it more for the last few months, and I’m finding it really makes a difference! I’m trying to do some meal prep throughout the day when I have a few minutes — particularly chopping veggies or marinating meat/fish for an easy oven/stovetop meal.” Jenny

“I love freezer crockpot bags. One day a month, you make a month’s worth of meals that go into a gallon freezer bag. They are then just dumped frozen into the crockpot the day of cooking. Easy peasy.” Jessica

Keep it Simple

“I keep meals during the school year simple so that my older kids can help prep them. I also have my kids help make dinner on home days.” Becca

“My older girls are often responsible for preparing lunch for the family. It is very helpful after a full morning of lessons.” Morgan

“The Instant Pot is my favorite tool for quick, easy dinners for a big family. I can never remember to load a crock pot in the morning so it is perfect for me. I just throw in some frozen meat, broth, and seasonings and in about an hour we have the main dish ready. I cook some easy sides and voila! Dinner is done.” Morgan

“I am not a meal planner and I live in the boondocks so I keep a stocked pantry from the back of Mireille Guiliano’s cookbook and cook simple, healthy meals quickly. Seared fish, fish in papillote, fish in foil. If I’m cooking quinoa for supper, I make extra for breakfast bowls or cold salads during the week. If I’m grilling, I put extra meat on for other meals for the week.” Richele

“Bagged salads and prepared foods from Costco help with meal prep. We also have a meal of meat, cheese and fruit. Kind of like a charcuterie plate.” Ashley

“I love eating clean, healthy meals but with a large family and a ton of responsibilities I had to make some compromises. I figure if food prep is making me stressed, then it’s not adding anything to my health.” Morgan

“Sometimes my kids help me make a meal. I’m in the process of adding that to their regular responsibilities.” Shawn

“My kids all know how to cook. I just have to keep the fridge stocked. My kids do all after-meal cleanup. They were tired of the bickering about who does what job that they made their own schedule with breakdown of after-meal chores. They use a sticky note calendar on the wall.” Michele

Grocery Tips

“I started picking up my groceries. I order them online and go get them during a time frame. I spend less time, get sale items, and just drive up and have them loaded in the car!” Ashley

“Cozi app for grocery list and meal planning.” LaShawne

Last Word

“One more thing, we keep a lot of laughter in our home.” Michele

We hope these tips help you all to “work wonders” in your own homes. Do you have some great tips? Please share them in the comments below so we can all benefit from your wisdom!

Hostess

Hey there! I'm Bridgett, and I love Jesus, my hot hubby, and my precious children. Some of my favorite things are reading, drinking black coffee, book rescuing, road trip taking, and chatting it up about all things Charlotte Mason. I like making people laugh and encouraging fellow homeschooling moms :)

CoHostess

Hi y’all! I am Morgan-mama to 5 girls and lover of Jesus, coffee, and chocolate. My high school sweetheart and I call Arkansas home. I am relatively new to Charlotte Mason’s principles and practices but am completely enamored with her! I am no expert, just an enthusiast. In my spare time I love to dig through the Parents Review, CMDC database, and of course, her volumes. I always have some interesting topic to research. I can’t wait to share with y’all the beauty of Charlotte Mason!