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It's probably more satisfying than scratching directly on the hemorroids. Anything that you can sit/bounce on that is somewhat narrow (like a motorcycle seat) is better than scratching with your hands..

Yes it is! When I was a kid of 13, a buddy of mine's dad owned a 49 harley, tank shift with reverse and a suicide clutch. We rode it on country roads where there wasn't any cops. Had it fall over once on us, a passing rancher had to help us get it back up. I still dream about riding a big bike. Never have since I was a kid, now I be too old. Yes! I feel the urge to sit on a big bike and jump up and down,

Yeah, I can see why you like the cafe style street racers then, Your hemmoroids are stuck up in the air and never hit the seat..
RE:
A motorcycle on a trailer coming back from a show, Mike had spent I know 80 hours on the paint. A dumb young woman sat on it and scratched it with her rivets in her jeans. Damn county music singer wannabe with cosmetic rivets.. I told Bobby he needed to get some sex from her in payment and She dissapeared pretty quick.

Everyone knows opening the door on a show car and sitting in it is a no-no.

Imagine owning a freshly restored bi-plane. Imagine your 11 year project glistening with new dope at the local airshow surrounded by admirers. Imagine a dad plopping his chunky 5 year-old on the lower wing tip so the kid could walk over the tightly doped fabric and the pencil stick wing ribs through the wires and bracing to the fusilage as the bi-plane's owner stared aghast.

Imagine the owner not gently siezing the kid and setting him on the ground. Imagine the dad objecting. Imagine the subsequent brawl. Imagine the lack of sympathy for the kid's bleeding dad from the air port security once the story got told.

Imagine the plane owner's dismay at having to forgo his place in the bi-plane fly-by while he rounded up a trailer to haul his now compromised (three ribs broken) airplane home to Oregon.

I'll take any number of bike squatters over that scenario.

The RULE is: never touch another's bike, car, airplane, boat, etc without permission. The RULE for admiration: put hands in back pockets and keep them there. Look all you want. Do NOT touch another's proud possessions.

Oshkosh, hot July sun, mid afternoon, airshow, some lady with a large posterior promptly parks said posterior on a pristine fiberglass wheel pant immediately rendering said wheel pant useless because of the broken fibers in the fiberglass. The plane owner was very calm. However, she was agast when he promptly told her to get her @&#%#*$^ing fat @$$ off of his wheel pant. Security showed her the gate.

Cameras are a sure fire scratch inducer as they are hangly freely from the gawkers neck and swing into what ever as they bend over to look inside the canopy/window/cowling.

If you have children and they act like that and you let them get away with it. You deserve it. Tomorrows criminals are todays spoiled children.
My lil girl throwed a 3yr old temper tantrum in the dollar store and I picked her up took her outside and dusted her bottom. I looked up to see a whole crowd watching the 275lb man whip the 40lb child. A older lady was smiling, the rest were agast.

I feel like dusting a few bottoms at bike shows. Seeing people walk around with chains and metal keys swinging all around bikes. The ones with the most keys and chains bikes look like Crap, I wonder why? My buddy Bobby is the same, about five pounds of keys and he won't listen. We have repainted one of the bikes four times now. Marblized paint you can't touch up.

Dave had a talking alarm on his custom 3 wheeler. He'd push the button and it would curse them with recorded obscenities.

Around bike shows, they sell beer by the cup. Imagine the stupidity of some of the drunks. I've saw them pissing behind vendor trucks inside the building. (I've had at least the decency to piss in the sink)

I'd sleep under Our tattoo bus, when some drunk would come up and unzip I'd rock his legs till he zipped it back up. Usually they cursed me. I personally didn't like crawling through it.

If you break it, scratch it, you should buy it. If you can't afford to buy it, don't touch it.

Perhaps I should build and sell pvc pylons/caution tape for car shows?

So I quit my job to become a firearms engraver. I've got everything dear to me displayed on velvet covered display table with several guns I had borrowed back from owners. While I'm talking to customers this jerk lets his 6 or 7 year old kid pick up my gravers and start to re-engrave one of my customers guns. That was a major setback to someone just striking out on his own. Kids should not be allowed into gun shows and the like. Most of the times they are bored anyway......

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Thank you to our families of soldiers, many of whom have given so much more then the rest of us for the Freedom we enjoy.

It is true, there is nothing free about freedom, don't be so quick to give it away.