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Life sucks and then you die...Yeah, I should be that lucky!

I’ve become very lazy when it comes to writing these days. I open MsWord and stare at it for hours as if waiting for it to start typing a story itself. It's not like I don't have anything to write about these days. My imagination runs just as wild as it ever did! In fact it has started running even wilder now that I’ve joined the gym.

Yeah me…. joined the gym. Pretty shocking, innit? (For all those who don’t find a reason to get shocked, visit this).You know I’ve been contemplating for a while and I finally reached a conclusion that if I want wear shorts and one pieces and halters and stuff, I’ll have to sacrifice my much adored body. LOL. No actually. My parents are super hyper and they won’t let me breathe in peace until they see me working on my body. Even if this stupidity is not doing me any good but making me yell in pain and shattering my body in a thousand small pieces. They actually had a bliss-attack when I announced that I had lost 1.5 kgs in 15 days. But instead of cooling off a bit on me and letting me rest for some time, they’ve become even more hyper and excited and are making me gym even more rigorously than ever before. I spend 2 hours gymming. Swimming once a week. Also an hour a day on yoga (my choice). That *om* thingy really soothes off my angered brain and during *shavasan*, I fall asleep, albeit, until the trainer realizes that I’m not concentrating but enjoying sweet, delicious sleep and yells her head off for not having my heart and soul in it. Oh bite me! Ok, I understand that I’ve been dozing away for a whole week now and always giggle when she teaches new aasanas (trust me, when she taught me that *lionwalla* aasana, it actually took me at least ½ an hour to stop laughing and concentrating. After that, she showed me that aasana again and giggles escaped me in spite of myself). She totally dissed me that day and also complained my mum about it. I actually had second thoughts about my choice after that. Whoever knew there was more to yoga than just some fucking inhaling and exhaling?

Top up all of this with the amount of tuitions I’m taking this year. I agree that I just took that up because I was totally smitten by the fees I was gonna receive (my allowance is not that good considering my extravagant tastes. I gotta do something to balance that out right? I’m a responsible adult after all :P). But now, it’s not even 1 week into tuitions and I’m already internally cursing myself for subjecting myself to this brutality for a whole year!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN WHO DOESN’T KNOW WHAT 2+2 MEANS? OR WHAT COMES AFTER AND BEFORE 50 OR WHAT TIME IT IS RIGHT NOW??????????? I don’t think I was that dumb when I was in first grade. Ok, maybe I was. But I’m dead sure I didn’t just start crying when my teacher gave me that murderous glare that I give my students when they get some stupid *Jack and Jill* types poems wrong.

I HATE KIDS. I always have. Even when my younger brother was born, I only used to play with him when he was in a cheery mood. And I’d go as far away from him as soon as I would realize that some kinda outburst or tantrum is on its way. And that’s just because he was my brother. Don’t even get me started on other kids. The way you’re supposed to go “oh sweetie…cutiepie…she looks so cute….his eyes are so nice” when all you can see is a big fat face on top of an even bigger body, which – if you even dare to point out – is because he/she is so happy and healthy and is receiving so much love from her parents and all the relatives. And when they ask you whether you wanna hold that child (of course I don’t wanna hold your stupid overfed child. Don’t you fucking see that I’ve put on a new dress? You know I’d rather use it for some better purpose than to serve it as your child’s next potty, thank you very much!) and you have to diplomatic and say “why not” and then cuddle the child and call it with sweet names when all that’s going in your mind is “oh please don’t do it on my new dress. It’s cost me a fortune. Not on this, God please!!!!!!!!!!!” yeah, children are so freaking lovely. God’s heaven sent angels and all. NOT.

And the biggest of the hurdles to my otherwise problem-free, exercise-free, facebook-filled, blog-writing days (which I had all vacations) is the STUPID 7o’CLOCK LECTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me? Wake up at 5 in the morning? You gotta be kidding me. That’s what my sister said when I sadly announced my daily timetable for the next 2 years. Goodbye sleep! *tears*

I put five different alarms at 5 minute intervals of each other which are very annoying to everyone but me. I can’t hear any of them. The Khumbakaran that I am! But thanks to my super loud alarms, everyone else in the house gets up and starts shouting at me for ruining their precious sleep. Hello, I’m the one who is sacrificing me sleep for those no-good-at-all lectures. Everyone anyways just doze in classes irrespective of whether the teacher is teaching or not. So, after a lot of shouting, some nudging and then finally, the bed-shower, courtesy my dad, I finally get up. I surrender my sleep for lectures, do not waste time applying make up for the fear of getting late, almost every day forget to take my earphones along (which is the worst thing if you realise you're gonna have to face 4 hours of non-stop droning in the form of lectures) …. So many sacrifices on my part and the professor – instead of acknowledging all this and welcoming me with a round of applause – asks me to leave her class immediately just because I WAS 5 M INUTES LATE! And that was not my fault at all, mind you. The elevator was full, so I had to wait for it to make its round and come back.

Then there’s also the tempting scent of Chinese and frankies and pavbhajis and coffees coming from H.R. besides our college which I have to ignore (my restraint is now 75% better). Then there is this dejection and surliness –

firstly because I don’t have any crushes to look forward to (read this)

and secondly because of these RAINS.

The one thing I hate more than children is rains. The wetness, your hair become all clammy and rough, you umbrellas are torn apart, you look hideous in a windcheater, your denims get all muddy, you can’t even see properly, you still have to attend lectures (teachers have no sensitivity at all), you can’t carry your favourite *jhola* because all the books will get wet, not that I carry any, but still. No, don’t get me wrong. I don’t toally hate rains. I love them when I’m at *Nariman point* or *Worli seaface*. But that’s it. That’s the only time I love them. Rest of the time, I even run outta curses to throw at them.

The only good thing that makes me survive the whole day is that in the end I know I have a super comfy bed awaiting me, my dizzy head and my awfully cramped body. I know it’s waiting to swallow my surliness whole and make me live the way I want to….in my dreams! Even if it’s for a very less time and leaves me even more tired and peeved in the morning, atleast I have something to look forward to that’ll go my way!

Really, if this is the way life’s gonna be from now, I want my refund! Coz this is so not the life I ordered!

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No… no, don’t. I take that back. Go yell in a bathroom or something if you’re
in your office or yell at someone who works under you. Show them that you’re
the boss. Be Hari Sadu from the advertisement for naukri.com if you want to and
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