Pen in hand
Paper in front
Thoughts in mind
Feelings to confront
Friends surround
Words console
Love abounds
And God’s in control

Guess I should write
About happiness
Guess I should sing
About my test
Guess I should testify
Of how I’m alive
Guess I should not cry
Because I’ve survived

But just can’t
Go on like I’m not afraid
I just can’t
Go on like I’m okay
Oh I just can’t
Go on like everything is fine
I just can’t
Accept that I’m slowly dying

And…

Honestly
That’s killing me more
Cuz I can’t see
Why I feel a need for more

I got my family
next to me
And I got friends
That know that I’m in need

Don’t even know
Why I’m writing this down
I want to stop
But my heart won’t let me down

I feel so lost
Don’t know what to do
I feel like I’ve lost
The joy I used to…

The joy I used to have
When I was never sad
The feeling of love
From everyone and above
The fullness of my heart
Not empty by loss of art
Cuz what I’m feeling now
Has got me strung out
And I feel as if I’m suffering
I CAN’T take the suffering…

This poem has gripped my soul!! I feel your every emotions in this one. I know you are afraid, but God has you in HIS graceful embrace. Hold on to love of your family and friends. Everyone has you in their prayers and in their hearts. We love you princess and won't let you fall.

most people think i should be happy
by being alive and able to be laughing
but my laughter is empty and hollow
swallowed by unamounting sorrow
i know they think this is the best for me
but i think of it as the down fall of me...