When Nintendo first entered the mobile game market with their first title, "Miitomo", there was quite a bit of confusion over what in the ever-loving fuck they were thinking. It was like, a meme template maker app? With like, weird social features? And you could dress up your Mii. Overall, very underwhelming, no one really loved it.

I thought it was pretty okay, as I stated in my incredibly informative and thought-provoking review. It definitely held some promise, promise that Nintendo unfortunately never capitalized on. Though, with how fast the mobile market moves, even if they did fix it, that was no guarantee it would take off.

Nintendo seemed to know that too. And that's why they decided to kill it off for something new.

Nintendo has announced that Miitomo's service will be ending May 9th, 2018. It had a pretty good run, and got frequent updates and support, but it just couldn't pull off a miracle. It was tainted by a bad launch. Like a bad lemon; no matter if you put it in the lemonade or take it out, it's already been soiled by the bad seeds.

That's why they're starting off from scratch. It's easier to start over and make something nice than to try and patch up a sinking ship. "MiiTwomo", Miitomo's successor, has been officially announced, and will be launching shortly after Miitomo is officially dead and buried. More robust social interactions, like direct messaging and the much-requested Stories feature will all be available at launch; newer customization options like furniture, wallpaper, carpets, and more will make MiiTwomo's apartments more like a miniature Animal Crossing on your phone than a simple social media app.

MiiTwomo marks Nintendo's very first direct sequel on mobile devices, and seems to show a concrete faith in their product despite its shortcomings.

Nintendo seems to be putting all their faith in the new "Miingle" feature, which aims to match up potential Mii couples based on the questions they answer. Should you and that cute girl you politely asked for their email address in order to invite them to friend you on MiiTwomo both answer "hush puppies" as your favorite kind of bread, MiiTwomo will do the hard part of breaking the ice for you, by having your Miis begin casually hooking up. Whether you're currently in-app or not. Yoshio Sakamoto, director of the original Miitomo, will be heading up its sequel and assured us they're sure Miingle will be a hit in his official statement to us.

Sakamoto: "The original idea behind Miitomo was to help bring people together. Sometimes you need that icebreaker, and you're not sure how to introduce yourself. Having the Miis do it for you took was like having your own little wingman. For MiiTwomo, we wanted to expand on that by allowing the Miis to help break the ice in romantic relationships as well. There is a cute intern at the office, she is new. Whenever she leaves for the day, I smell the seat of her chair. She sits there for hours doing her work, so you can still smell her after she's gotten up. It is hard for me as her superior to introduce myself in a casual manner, but I always see her drinking bottled water. If only my Mii could tell her, hey, I drink water too, you know?" (laughs)

Not to worry for parents, though. No actual piinis or vagiina will be shown. Much like something out of The Sims, when Miis hook up, they will simply lock themselves in the bedroom and make various high-pitched screeches or garbled static sounds. The most suggestive things will ever get are the different lingerie or BDSM-styled outfits that'll be available to win in the new MiiTwomo Drop machines, and occasional raunchy dialogue from the Miis. Stuff like "Wow, Hitler has some really bomb-ass diick, did you know he likes hush puppies too?", or "Damn, Meg Griffin dummy thick. I'd smash that. Did you know she drinks water? I love drinking water!"

Miingle is an opt-in service on MiiTwomo, so as long as you don't set your Mii as "Single", they won't go sleeping around with whoever likes hush puppies. It can still be played as Miitomo was, as a simple socializing game. But with so much work being put into Miingle, all the exclusive dialogue and items that can only be obtained through casual Mii sex, it might be better off just to set yourself as single anyway. It doesn't count as cheating if it's only your Mii, right?

MiiTwomo will launch on May 10th, the day after Miitomo goes offline. Save data can't be transferred over, so if you have any outfits you liked, you'll need to start over on the new app. But if you had a Miitomo account, you will unlock exclusive Miitomo-themed outfits at launch. An open beta will launch on Valentine's Day to help Nintendo fans get a date, and carrying over your data from the beta will unlock the exclusive Mushroom Ball-Gag and Sheikah Whip, for the Mii Friiks out there.

Nintendo has hinted that the game will connect with a Switch version of Tomodachi Life, but nothing official has been confirmed yet.