M: Well, they were definitely going to eat my legs, so thank you. What exactly did you say to them?

F: That if they would wait until after I interviewed you that they could have your arms too.

M: I wondered why they were lurking there.

F: So one last question.

M: Given the wolves, I have all the time in the world. Let’s really get in depth here.

F: You’ll have a better chance if you start running before nightfall.

M: Okay, well, let’s wrap this up then.

F: Okay, I’m just wondering about the fact that the Comms forum is so dead. Why is that?

M:
@Grimby has ordered that any non-mod who comes here is to be killed by predator drones.

F: I survived.

M: We thought you were a bear.

F: I knew not shaving would come in handy one day. So, I recall that there was a time when the Mod Squad released a sort of news bulletin every week, a Mod Squad Update, that was used to keep the regular users up on what the mods were doing. Any plans to bring that back?

M: No.

F: Why not?

M: Because we’re not doing anything right now.

F: I . . .

M: Nothing. Not a thing.

F: I . . . see. Well, I guess the upside is that no one will have to take on your responsibilities when you’re murdered by the wolves.

M: Speaking of that . . .

F: Yes, night will be falling shortly. I will tell you to head toward the setting sun. Set a steady pace for yourself. You don’t want to run as it will tire you too quickly. Never stop moving. If you can preserve your stamina, you’ll come to an old thread about DarthSapient; get inside and lock the doors until morning. The rumors that he still wanders the halls, moaning like a damned soul, are most likely unfounded. Most likely.

M: god i don’t want to die i havent really lived

F: Well, that’s your problem. *lights a torch and passes it to M* Here. Use the power of man’s red flower. There is nothing else I can do for you.

RH: Good evening, this is Rogue1-and-a-half and it’s time once again for Celebrity Jeopardy. Yes, despite my promises to end my life before I would do this again, here I am. *glares off camera* I’d be propped up at my desk right now with an incoherent note in front of me if KansasNavy hadn’t hidden my bullets.

RH: Right, whatever. Anyway, the show tonight promises to end all hope for humanity, so let’s get right to it. Our categories for tonight are Things That Have Nothing to Do With What Happened on This Day in History . . .

J: Dammit.

RH: Things That Have Nothing To Do With Wacky News Stories . . .

J: Dammit!

RH: And Things That Only Cool People Know About.

J: DAMMIT!

RH: Now then, we . . .

BING!

RH: Yes, Jello, what is it?

GAJ: I just wanted to point out that from now on I will be speaking only Latin tonight.

RH: *takes a swig from a small bottle* Fine, fine, sure. Now, beezel, despite the fact that I haven’t even asked a question yet, you’re somehow already have -$14,000.

B: You know what? That’s okay. Who needs a podium? I have a miniature one right here. *pulls podium out of backpack and set it down*

RH: That podium doesn’t even come up to your knees.

B: I’ll make do.

RH: I’m not even going to ask why you had that in your backpack. You know what? Let’s just go to Final Jeopardy. What does everybody think about that?

GAJ: Hurple durpledy bebor.

RH: I’m going to take that as a yes. The category is Your Favorite Color. To win, just write down any color. I won’t even know if you’re lying or not. Just write down any color at all and you will win.