This is the first part of my parody trilogy about the Lord of the Rings movie series. For best effect: Try to imagine LotR fans singing it while in the theater, watching the first movie for the umpteenth time.

Bilbo used to kick with the Elfs
Mordor´s on the rise, he´s too old himself
Fro-do, are you?
Strider whacks the bushes all night
Arwen´s popping up, she bangs him to right
Off-screen, that´s mean!

And Gandalf says; We´ll form now, a fellowship
It really makes a difference if we´re making this trip
We got each other, and Mer and Pip
The ring, we´ll give it a dip

Oooh, you´re one third there
Oh-oh, in the mines of Moria
Take the bridge, you´ll make it I swear
Gan-dalf´s fighting with the Balrog

Pippin lost his head in a lair
Now he´s holding breath, but he´s used to making air
so much, that klutz
Merry screams, he´s running away
He cries in the dark, Pippin´s shouting; baby it´s okay
(Let´s pray)

Gandalf´s fallin' down now, the Orcs won´t slip
It really makes a difference if you finish this trip
You got each other, lose Mer and Pip
The Ring, it must lava-dip

Oooh, you´re one third there
Oh-oh, knocking down the Balrog
Legolas, you´re flying I swear
Oh-oh, out the mines of Moria
Runnin' for a threesome

You got to move on, preciousss H'bits
With hair on your feet if there´s no shoe that fits

Oooh, you´re one third there
Oh-oh, Sauron is crazy
Take his hand, and you´re ring-marked I swear
Oh-oh, destiny is hazy