Twenty-year old Logan went through a number of important changes recently: moved from Texas to the Pacific Northwest, broke up with his girlfriend, beTwenty-year old Logan went through a number of important changes recently: moved from Texas to the Pacific Northwest, broke up with his girlfriend, became a firefighter and realized that he is gay. Since Logan is blessed with a generally rather relaxed personality, he simply accepts these things as facts and proceeds to make the best of it. His next goal? Finally actually having sex with a guy. Not so easy when you a) don’t have a guy, and b) don’t know how or even where to look for one.

By a fortunate coincidence, one of Logan’s fellow firefighters (Tomas from From The Ashes) is also gay. The two become friends, and Tomas and his partner Jesse invite Logan along on a group camping trip to Canada. This is how Logan first meets Henri, a friend of a friend of Tomas’s.

At first glance, Henri is Logan’s polar opposite. Where Logan is sweet-natured and patient, Henri is skittish and cynical. Where Logan is solidly built, fresh-faced and strong, Henri is skinny, delicate and beautiful. On top of that, they both come with their share of insecurities; Henri’s stemming from his bad experiences with former lovers, Logan’s from his inexperience and the novelty of embracing his gay identity. Can a naive virgin cowboy and a jaded cityboy learn to get on together?

It’s really entertaining to share both Henri’s and Logan’s thoughts through their first meeting, the ride to Canada, and the weekend spent in a shared tent. Henri’s initial dislike of the seemingly boorish Texan quickly turns into interest in view of Logan’s physical assets and appealing personality. Logan, who feels instantly attracted to Henri, overcomes his intial shyness and works his way into Henri’s pants, under Henri’s skin and eventually, into Henri’s heart.

I really liked both main characters. Contrary to the first impressions, they complemented each other well and made a perfect match. The outcome was quite predictable, of course, but it’s a sweet, romantic story, funny at times, and poignant at others, not too taxing but with enough depth to make it worthwhile.

Review originally written for reviewsbyjessewave.com on dec. 29, 2013...more

This is the sequel to Butterfly Hunter and the second book in the Butterfly Hunter Trilogy. For those who enjoyed Butterfly Hunter, this one here is aThis is the sequel to Butterfly Hunter and the second book in the Butterfly Hunter Trilogy. For those who enjoyed Butterfly Hunter, this one here is a must-read–who wouldn’t want to know what happened after Dave’s and Nicholas’s helter-skelter engagement to marry?

Well, what happens is a marriage, of course. The world might call it a civil union ceremony, but to Nicholas, it’s a wedding celebration, and he’s determined to make it a memorable one, complete with flowers and guests and formal dinner at the manor and matching morning suits for groom and groom.

Which, in turn, frightens Dave a little. For one, why on earth would he wear a “mourning suit” for his wedding? And once that misunderstanding is cleared up, Dave puts his foot down; since he hasn’t even worn a suit for his father’s funeral, why would he wear a suit–of any kind–now? Luckily, Dave’s former girlfriend Denise is as resourceful as ever and comes up with a solution that suits all parties and helps avoiding Dave’s and Nicholas’s first marital strife before they’re even married.

While Nicholas throws himself with his usual ardent zeal into the wedding preparations, Dave feels a little overwhelmed by all the foreign-ness coming at him, starting from living in a manor house with a big family and servants (who in fact didn’t only feel and act last-century to Dave, but to me as the reader too–an effect that might’ve been intentional, but struck me as taking the cliche a tad too far) and not ending with the many obstacles the Australian Immigration regulations put into the way of Nicholas moving to Australia permanently. (From the latter fact accidentally evolved a delicious blog Nicholas started to keep which provided some of this books best poetic lines.) Although the commitment ceremony is as perfect as it can be, Dave is more than relieved once it is over and done with and he can escape with his new husband to their honeymoon cottage by the sea.

As Butterfly Hunter was pervaded by the spirit of Australia and the Dreamtime, so to speak, it’s “merry old England” that waves a hand in Of Dreams and Ceremonies. From the cottage where Dave and Nicolas spend their honeymoon to the supposedly haunted stone circle right on their doorstep, from the eccentric characters they encounter in the nearby fishing village to their quirky secret-tunnels-and-hidden-trapdoors adventure–I enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek references to “typically British” storylines including Enid Blyton’s Fabulous Five.

In spite of that, like with the Goring family’s servants I found the whole “ye olde” aspect layered on a bit too thick for my taste. Not to mention the fact that practically everybody simply accepted Nicholas and Dave as a gay married couple–the one expression of disapproval they encountered consequentially seemed forced, apparently only put into the story in order to break up the overall OK-gay world.

Otherwise the honeymoon portion of the story read to me like Nicholas’s symbolic goodbye to his childhood home (I figure he must’ve grown up reading all those stories referenced in the book). At the same time, the honeymoon time also stood for the beginning of a new period in Dave and Nicholas’s lives–breaking old habits and making new ones, raising questions and finding answers together, building and reinforcing mutual trust, with the handfasting ceremony that married them to each other for the second time as a fitting completion.

However, it isn’t before they go back to Australia that their new life really begins–and it does so with a song and a dance, quite literally, as they’re both invited to take part in a Dreamtime ceremony by Charlie, their Australian Native friend. Thus, their commitment is once again approved–as if along with society, Dave’s and Nicholas’s respective home countries personally gave their blessing to the union of those two men.

Once again, the characters carried the story along. Nicholas is as sweet, strong-willed and adventurous as ever, and Dave is brave and determined and always remains Nicholas’s unshakeably faithful rock. I loved how both Nicholas and Dave remained true to themselves while at the same time, they managed to grow toward each other, making a stronger couple in the end. Amazingly done and embedded in a smoothly flowing, at times almost poetic narrative laced with this author’s trademark gentley mocking humor–despite some minor niggles, this was a worthy sequel to a wonderful book and a treat to read. ...more

Upon reading the blurb of this book, the movie “Pretty Woman” was of course the first thing that came into my mind. I went into this expecting somethiUpon reading the blurb of this book, the movie “Pretty Woman” was of course the first thing that came into my mind. I went into this expecting something light, perhaps funny like the film had been. Icouldn’t have been more wrong, and having read other books by this author, I really should’ve known better.

Tyler is a music student who’d love nothing better than being able to live only for his music. But Tyler’s family history left him with a deep-seated fear of debts, and the amount of his student loans horrifies him. He decides to take a shortcut to deleverage by selling his body. However, as much as Tyler tries to tell himself it’s only a job, the whole prostitution business gets to him. In order to keep things in perspective, Tyler tries to detach himself from his rentboy persona, making it a rule to never get involved with anyone he meets on this basis. Then he meets Jeremy, a newcomer to the scene who is so painfully naive that he awakens Tyler’s long lost protective instincts and makes his resolve to never get involved crumble. And shortly after, Tyler meets Haris, who first saves him from a bad situation and then offers him a lot of money for exclusive services for four months. Haris, who might be the answer to all Tyler’s problems, and who Tyler finds himself increasingly attracted to despite himself.

Haris, a self-made bilionaire, has stayed clear of relationships ever since a bad betrayal in his youth robbed him of the ability to trust, and left him with some other issues, one of which is a bad self-image outside of his professional success.The first time he lays eyes on Tyler–Haris attends a concert at Tyler’s university–he is intrigued even before Tyler starts playing the piano. Later, when he learns how Tyler pays his way through university, Haris believes that the only way Tyler would be interested in him were if he offered him money, and so he does, and Tyler accepts. Thus begins a relationship where both partners are attracted to each other right from the beginning–physically as well as emotionally–and yet constantly hurt each other through miscommunication, mistaken pride and lack of trust on both sides.

Since the story is told from an alternate POV we’re privy to both men’s thoughts, and I can’t even begin to say how frustrated I got with them thinking the right things but saying and doing the exact opposite. Over the course of the story, I’ve wanted to bang Tyler’s and Haris’s heads together more times than I can count. I’ve wanted to yell at them to talk to each other, to listen, but alas… However, the conflict between them not only arises from their failure to communicate.

Shady things from Haris’s past and problems that Tyler has with his former pimp go together to make a pretty good background plot with a kind of tension that had me biting my nails, and with breathtaking action scenes. This is a long book, and with all the frustrating misunderstandings between the two main characters it could’ve been tedious to read, but the mystery plot totally made up for that. Particularly the subplot around Haris’s origin and his past, which I found well-wrought, comprehensible and at times, heartbreakingly sad.

Well, and then there was Wilson, Haris’s manservant-chauffeur-housekeeper-all-around-go-to-man. Each good drama needs a clown, and Wilson filled that role impeccably. His hypochondriacism, his caustic wit, his wisdom were the perfect balance for Haris and Tyler’s drama and intensity, and Wilson had some of the best lines.

This was an action-filled, fast paced read with lots of emotional drama, hot eroticism and just the right amount of depth to make it memorable. (and the ending was absolutely adorable!)

If that’s your deal and if you can put up with the frustration that comes from men doing what they apparently do best, namely not talking to each other, go for this book, you can’t go wrong. Recommended....more

We all know what James Bond does on a normal workday. But have you ever wondered what Miss Moneypenny’s life was like? And, to take the game one stepWe all know what James Bond does on a normal workday. But have you ever wondered what Miss Moneypenny’s life was like? And, to take the game one step further, what if they actually were a couple, Moneypenny and James? What if James got tired of all those airheaded, shallow Beauty-Queens he has to do the nasty with as a part of his job and wanted something real with a solid, reliable, reasonable person?

In most spy novels, it’s the James Bond types who get the spotlight, but this book is different. John Radley is something like Moneypenny to Anthony Holland’s Agent 007, and it’s John’s voice that tells the story. Often in flashbacks; actually, after the opening scene the novella is mostly scenes from the past, as John is reliving his and Tony’s passionate and loving relationship, those three years they actually spent together, while he’s trying to find Tony again after a separation that lasted twenty years.

Aside from the fact that he works for MI6, John is an ordinary guy. A paper pusher, if you like; a single parent who raised his sister’s orphaned daughter; a doting grand-uncle to his adoptive daughter’s kids. But he’s also a constant to his friend, a man who never loses faith, even when he’s told his lover has died a traitor. His steadfast heart helps him pick out Tony in a crowd, even upon seeing him only for a second, and then John stops at nothing to try and get Tony back.

As I said, this is a unusual spy thriller. Yes, there are codes, kryptic messages and helpful secretaries, dead drops and faked deaths. There’s suspense and danger and secrecy. But above all, this is a story of lasting love, of faith and devotion. It’s a quiet tale, and yet suspenseful, a moving story, but without sentimentality.

If you’re in the mood for a calm, intelligent and thought-provoking story set behind the scenes of the gittering world of espionage, thry this little book. It’s worth it.

I read all four books in this series: Cost of Repairs, Color of Grace, Weight of Silence and now this latest instalment, Acts of Faith. I must say, whI read all four books in this series: Cost of Repairs, Color of Grace, Weight of Silence and now this latest instalment, Acts of Faith. I must say, while I loved Cost of Repairs to pieces, the next two left me a bit underwhelmed in comparison. But with this book, the old charme was back almost full force for me, together with the two guys who started it all, Sam Briggs and Rey King.

After the whirlwind events that accompanied the beginning of their relationship, Sam and Rey have settled into a routine of sorts. Sam is still a beat cop working late shifts. Rey, still suffering from the consequences of being assaulted, mostly runs his budding catering business from home. However, because he thinks of expanding, he goes looking for a business partner. Enter attractive, flirtatious, gay David Weller, who might be the perfect choice of business partner for Rey but also causes Sam’s jealousy to raise its ugly head–he may trust Rey, but the same doesn’t necessarily apply to David.

As if that weren’t enough, Rey gets an unhoped-for chance at winning custody for his daughter back. And now they have to figure out how to become parents while not losing each other as a loving couple. Sam thinks they’ll manage–people do that all the time, after all. In Sam’s mind, all it takes is loving each other and protecting your loved ones. While Rey agrees with him in principle, it’s awfully hard for him to let go of his deeply ingrained insecurities. Knowing theoretically that all parents make mistakes and facing the reality of being responsible for a child are two very different animals, as Rey and Sam have to learn the hard way, so hard in fact, that what they hold dearest almost tears them apart.

True to his nature, Rey doesn’t ask for help when things start becoming too much for him but shows the world–and Sam–his “Yes, I can”- face instead. Sam, on the other hand, suddenly doesn’t know anymore where he stands with Rey. Aren’t they partners? And still, Rey doesn’t seem to trust him with the child. Also true to his nature, Sam shuts himself away. Not the biggest talkers in the first place, both Rey and Sam retreat into their respective shells, almost losing sight of the big picture–until Faith acts to make them see reason.

I tend to dread reading anew about characters I'd come to love earlier in a series–will there be still room for them to grow, and will they remain true to themselves? I found those fears allayed with Acts of Faith. Sam and Rey started exactly where I’d left them, and even though I would’ve liked to bang their heads together a time or two while reading, they came out a stronger couple in the end–despite and at the same time thanks to the little girl that fell into their laps, Faith.

The writing was smooth and competent as usual with this series, taking an unobtrusive backseat to the story and letting the characters shine on their own. While other familiar faces showed up in this book, the story focused mainly on Sam, Rey, and Faith, with only David as a more elaborated supportive character ( I suppose he’ll have his own book soon, and I think I’ve already glimpsed his love interest, too… :smile: ) I found this pleasant, since this way nothing distracted from the major alteration Rey and Sam had to go through.

All in all, this book absorbed me almost as much as the first one did. As series go, this book comes a close second to the first instalment, and I’m hoping for more books in this compelling series.

The unusual setting and the fact that one of the main characters is a flutist were what made me want to read this book, and I wasn’t disappointed on eThe unusual setting and the fact that one of the main characters is a flutist were what made me want to read this book, and I wasn’t disappointed on either count. Adrian was a well-wrought character; his being a flutist wasn’t only a facade, he lived and breathed music, which worked well with the plot and the progress of the story. Who’d have thought elephants could sing, let alone songs that ould be inspiring for a flutist? As a flute-lover myself, I found this aspect of the story compelling.

Ed, the other main character, was very much the family man, doting father to his five-year-old son and as devoted to his animals as Adrian was to his music. An unlikely pairing, those two nevertheless worked beautifully together as a couple. Their romance built slowly, mostly due to the fact that Ed put his family first and despite his attraction to Adrian waited for his family’s approval before considering anything serious with him.

As for the supportive characters, the elephants were as important as the humans, almost more so. Even with all the elephant talk Ed did, I didn’t feel like watching discovery channel; as the elephants were such an integral part of Ed’s character, it was necessary to forward his and Adrian’s relationship. Which brings me to my first little niggle, since one of the elephants–Cara–behaved so disney-like at times that I found it hard to suspend disbelief. Then again, she was a character in her own right, and her baby Ciro was sweet and cute. They enriched the story, as did Ed’s precocious son, Eddy, and the rest of the renaissance faire folk, like the belly dancer girls, Dale the jouster (who made a reappearance here together with his lover, Austin. The latter remained sketchy, though), Brian, Trish, Eddy’s mother and Trina, Eddy’s sister, and all the others. I liked them all, and I found the setting vivid and colorful. And I liked the concept of Ed’s unusual family situation.

This story focused very much on the slowly building romance between Adrian and Ed and was low on angst as well as conflict, internal and external; in fact, several incidents with potential for conflict were inserted only to be resolved almost spontaneously not much later. For the main couple, pretty much everything fell nicely into place, even though there was still enough going on around them and inside of them to keep the story from being bland. It flowed smoothly, admittedly without breathtaking tension, but it wasn’t boring at all.

Which brings me to the issue I had with this otherwise pleasant read.

I had a problem with the writing in and of itself, mainly with the use of job designations instead of names–a pet peeve of mine. Well, I get that if both protagonists are male, it can be hard to avoid the he/him confusion, and it’s bothersome enough (at least as far as I’m concerned) to hear characters constantly referred to as “the man”, but reading “the flutist” and “the elephant trainer” in every other paragraph grated on me soon and threw me right out of the story every time. Particularly during sex scenes. Those were an issue for me in other ways as well, partly purple prose, partly technical description of whose what went where and how in detail. In fact, even the scenes with the elephants felt more touching and emotional to me than the sex scenes,and in a m/m romance book, this just struck me as odd. This might be only me, though, others might feel differently.

All in all, this was a positive and overall enjoyable read, with an unhurried sweet romance, likable characters throughout and a positive ending. I closed it with a smile....more

For me, there’s one word that describes both Prophet and Tom perfectly: self-sabotage. It’s something they both excel at, in regard to their professioFor me, there’s one word that describes both Prophet and Tom perfectly: self-sabotage. It’s something they both excel at, in regard to their professional lives and even more so in regard to their personal lives–read:relationships (of any kind, but especially the romantic variety and especially with each other). It’s so easy to have self-sabotaging characters veer into the TSTL category. But the beauty of this story is that these two don’t do that, even though they do some rather stupid things. I forgave them time and again, just like they did each other, and just like they began to forgive themselves in the end. And I forgave them because these two deeply scarred, violent and essentially unapproachable characters seriously grew on me; they had me rooting for them and cheering them on to look beyond past hurts and injuries and into a shared future.

While the first Hell or High Water book, Catch a Ghost, ended with Prophet and Tom separated–and Prophet even having quit Extreme Escapes Ltd, the secret black ops organization he’d been groomed by his former boss Phil to take over–Long Time Gone shows their reunion, and that particular scene is hot as hell and explosive like–yes, like a volcanic eruption in a hurricane. Literally. Because it’s a hurricane hitting New Orleans that brings them together right then and there, and as they meet somewhat unexpectedly when the storm is about to reach its climax, so do they. For these two are men that have a hard time talking about their respective pasts and even more so about their emotions, in general and to each other in particular. They’re better at communication when physicality is involved, an that’s what makes the frequent sex scenes in this book actually necessary.

Not to mention the fact that the sex scenes in this book are the best I’ve read in a long time. Completely in tune with their characterizations, Prophet and Tom are rough with each other, almost violent at times, and yet there are moments of tenderness that are all the more heartbreaking for their rarity. For a long time, sex is the only way for them to express how much they need each other, and eventually, it’s through sex that they come to open up to each other. It’s a beautiful development of their relationship and their respective characters.

While the characterizations were great and very well-whought, I had problems with the setting. Despite all the alligators and cemeteries and voodoo, the place didn’t come alive with me. For some reason I kept picturing the events taking place in a cold location, and every time the heat was mentioned, it threw me out of the story flow. There were also several convenient happenstances and jack-in-the-box appearances of supportive characters I couldn’t relate to.

As a whole, the actual plot of this book struck me as rather far-fetched and once again, somewhat all over the place; I felt as if all those murders, kidnappings, arrests, and even the hurricane only happened to make our heroes look good and to further their relationship. But I was okay with that; picking up this book I didn’t expect realism. I wanted ecapism, suspense and passion, and that’s exactly what I got.

This was a fast-paced, action-filled story with surging emotions and fiery passion at the end of which I felt like I’d really gained insight in what made these two men tick. Their story still isn’t done yet, but at least they’re now ready to face the future together. Highly recommended.

Long Time Gone ist the second book in the Hell or High Water series, and I don’t think it can be read as a standalone; to much of the story only really becomes accessible to the reader in context with the first book. The first book, Catch a Ghost (reviewed here) and Long Time Gone are essentially an entity.

Vic barely knew his grandfather. Even when Vic’s father died, and Vic asked his grandfather for help, the old man refused to meet him. So it comes asVic barely knew his grandfather. Even when Vic’s father died, and Vic asked his grandfather for help, the old man refused to meet him. So it comes as a surprise, to put it mildly, when Vic learns that his grandfather has left him a legacy of land in the Kentucky mountains. However, the legacy comes with conditions: Vic has to live on the land for a year, or it will go to one Boone Mosely who is also the executor of the will.

After a visit to his inheritance (and after meeting Boone Mosely), Vic decides that he will brave the Kentucky winter rather than letting the surprisingly comfortable cabin in the woods go to waste. If he doesn’t like it there, he can always sell the land, as he’d planned even before seeing it. Besides, his competitor for the property is an incentive to try and live there rather than a deterrent. The attraction between the two men is instant, and so, equipped with working internet access and after trading his sports car for an SUV, city dweller Vic goes about earning his inheritance–and perhaps a man to share it with.

This is pretty much all there is to the story. Vic is a sympathetic character, a little awkward at first, but soon comfortable in the rural setting. Likewise Boone–initially he fears to have to deal with a clueless City boy, but after Vic gets accustomed to rougher living (not too rough, though, as it turns out) Boone opens up to him. Boone and Vic’s getting together isn’t all that surprising, given that they’re apparently the only two gay men in the small Kentucky town.

This story had some interesting points that keep it from being bland, for example Vic’s grandfather, Boone’s uncle, and Boone’s backstory in and of itself as well as some interesting events from Boone’s professional life as a sheriff. The setting was well developed, and the supporting characters were mostly as likable as the main characters were.

Most of the conflict in the story arose from within Boone and Vic and their respective ingrained convictions and misgivings, as their environment was supportive of their relationship in a small-town-nosy, busybody way that I found quite endearing.

All in all, this was an easy, positive and not too demanding read, pleasantly written and enjoyable. Just right for a rainy afternoon or an extended train ride....more

Luke and Alex have a lot in common: they’re both good-looking, brainy gay men in their thirties, they like fantasy adventures, dogs, hiking, flannel cLuke and Alex have a lot in common: they’re both good-looking, brainy gay men in their thirties, they like fantasy adventures, dogs, hiking, flannel clothes, and they both like puzzles. So it’s no wonder that they click once they get to know each other. That one of them sits in a wheelchair? Barely relevant.

That’s about the sum of this novella, and also its positive message. Alex’ wheelchair is a fact, but not much of an obstacle. At least in the beginning, during the first rush of getting to know each other, exploring mutual sexual attraction and growing to like each other. I liked that part of the story a lot; it was beautiful to watch how Luke saw only Alex, the person, instead of Alex, the guy in a wheelchair–and how Alex refused to let himself be defined by being in a wheelchair. They were just two ordinary guys gradually falling in love with each other.

However, once the first euphoria had passed and the realities of life started becoming relevant again, this was when Alex’ disability started coming to the fore. Like in any other relationship, there were doubts, misgivings and miscommunications between Luke and Alex, and understandably, mostly centered around Alex’ disability. And this was where the story lost part of its appeal for me, because for one thing, the wheelchair becoming an issue came somewhat suddenly, and for another thing, the solution appeared rushed and rather starry-eyed to me. Both Alex and Luke had very reasonable concerns about their relationship; it didn’t feel as if those problems were really resolved in the end.

All in all, rose-tinted glasses aside, this was a nice and uplifting story, low on angst and pleasantly written. If you’re in the mood for an easy, positive read, you should try this....more

This book is the first in a series centered around EE (Extreme Escapes, Ltd.), a mercenary agency that specializes in black-op-type missions, and letThis book is the first in a series centered around EE (Extreme Escapes, Ltd.), a mercenary agency that specializes in black-op-type missions, and let me say in advance, wow, what a furious start.

Ah, Prophet and Tommy. Even though I’ve only just met them, I wouldn’t hesitate to mention them in the same breath with other, longer-known famous “I-hate-you-but-I-love-you” warrior pairings like Ty and Zane, Vadim and Dan, Lucky and Bo…. However, Prophet and Tommy are second to none of them, not regarding their complexity, nor their hauntedness, vulnerability, cruelty, determination, what have you. And did I mention they’re both sexy as hell? And yet, they’re unique.

Definitely high addictiveness here.

Both Prophet and Tommy don’t want a partner. Prophet already has one–kind of, as he keeps seing his former lover and partner’s ghost. Who, unfortunately, is rather mouthy and never shy to share his opinion. Besides, Prophet doesn’t need a partner by principle, he’s strong enough to handle anything on his own. Or so he thinks. His boss at EE, Phil, thinks differently, which is why Prophet finds himself assigned to work with EE newbie Tom Boudreaux of Cajun stock, who has the audacity to not only be irresistibly attractive, pierced and inked, but also manages to prove himself worthy of Proph’s respect. Professionally, they make a great match despite their constant squabbling. And once they cross the line from fighting to fucking, Prophet has to realize that in bed, they fit even better. From professional communion and physical closeness grows something that at some point far exceeds erotic attraction, and Prophet, to his terror, finds himself falling for his partner. But he can’t get attached, for a variety of reasons, not the last of which is that he can barely handle himself. Imposing all his baggage on a partner who has already enough of a cross to bear would destroy both of them in the end, wouldn’t it? All the more reason to run for the hills.

Tommy’s reasons for not wanting a partner are different from Proph’s, but no less strong. All his life, Tommy has been considered bad luck, and has had the proof of this matter handed to him many times over. He carries the guilt of feeling responsible for his former partner’s death and the weight of rejection which he experienced so often in the past. The demons Tommy has to deal with are not only inside his head, he is literally cursed, and he firmly believes in the latter. Not only because he has some kind of sixth sense that makes him able to predict problems, and not only because he is prone to losing his temper-and in a deadly spectacular way to booth. The more he finds himself caring for Prophet, the more he fears for him, until he feels that the only way to keep Prophet safe is leaving him. Or is it?

Those two seem so different, but they’re more alike than they realize. It’s clear that they need each other to heal, that in fact they are the only ones who can do that for each other, but of course they’re both too stubborn to see that. What I loved best with this story was the fact that it wasn’t the miscommunication thing at work here–these two talk. Granted, not so much about their feelings, but enough to know what the other one’s deal is. Of course, the romance has some of the old “he’s better off without me, I need to leave him because I love him” to it, but this is amazingly done here, so well in fact, that I barely realized it. It’s inevitable; the outcome is fimly rooted in both men’s personalities.

The actual plot, a mix of spy thriller and action movie with a bit of crime novel thrown in, was fast paced and page-turningly thrilling, if frayed all over the place with loose ends everywhere. Forgiveable, though, since this is the beginning of a series. Anyway, it's the characters who carry the story, not the mystery. As for the characterizations, there are so many hints at more secrets and hidden truths with both Tommy and Prophet, not to mention the introduction of Prophet’s sort-of friend, mysterious Cillian. Those two (and Cilian) aren’t done, not by a long shot, there’s a lot of story left to tell, and I can barely wait for the series to continue.

As far as I’m concerned, this is the best SE Jakes has ever written and a must-read for fans of the author. For anyone else, if you’re a fan of deeply wounded heroes; strong, sexy, hard-headed manly men (there’s LOTS of HOT sex in this book!); action and fighting and shit blowing up–then go for this book, you can’t go wrong.

Though, if you mind stories breaking off in the middle and leaving you high and dry as much as I do, you might want to wait until the second book comes out....more

Angst, angst, angst... both MC's are put through the wringer with their pasts and current obstacles and if that weren't enough, have to deal with artiAngst, angst, angst... both MC's are put through the wringer with their pasts and current obstacles and if that weren't enough, have to deal with artificial obstacles that are later wiped away with a swish of the pen. The writing was very good, though, although the sex scenes could've been cut by at least a third if not more and there'd be still nothing missing from the book. ...more

This book is aptly named–some secrets are just so heavy that keeping silent about them can crush a person until they can’t breathe anymore. That’s whaThis book is aptly named–some secrets are just so heavy that keeping silent about them can crush a person until they can’t breathe anymore. That’s what happened to Jace Ramsay. He got so tangled up in secrets–someone else’s and his own–that he did something stupid enough to make him vulnerable to blackmail. And now Jace is lost. He can’t ask his family for help because that would mean he’d eventually have to betray someone else’s trust, and he’s made himself guilty anyway, but he’s to weak–at least he thinks so–to get out of the whole disaster by himself, which shames him to the point of self-hatred. He needs someone he feels safe with, someone who will understand him, who won’t judge him or push him, but offer him support and lend him confidence when he can’t find it inside himself. Sweet-natured Gavin Ramsay, with his easygoing manner, with his optimistic lookout at life and his fierce protectiveness towards those he loves, might be just that person for Jace–if Jace could find the courage to trust the man who stole his heart.

Gavin is a living example for the saying: “If life gives you lemons, go make lemonade.” Having been hyperactive his whole life, he’s used to getting himself into messes big and small, and to extricate himself from them again by fast thinking/talking/ acting/ all of the above. Although he’s no slacker, Gavin is a bit of a drifter with not a lot of ambition and no real goal in life. That changes when he meets Jace Ramsay. When Jace withdraws from Gavin after what seemed to be the promising start of a tentative relationship, when Jace returns from College a changed person, Gavin makes it his aim to find out which mess Jace has caught himself in, and to help him out of it.

I loved the characterizations of Gavin and Jace and the way the writing in itself reflected their respective personalities. Not only in dialogue, but also in the narrative they had distinctive, recognizable voices. The writing drew me right into the story from the first word onward–fast-paced in places, almost poetic in others, with sweet love scenes so perfect for the two very young main characters (Gavin is 23, Jace 19), with gripping action scenes and a delicious dash of humor.

Once again, this book is set in the small town of Stratton, Pennsylvania, with Dixie’s Cup, the town diner, as the hub that connects this book to the previous two in the series, Cost of Repairs and Color of Grace (reviews under the cuts). Gavin’s mother Lucia is a waitress at Dixie’s; Jace’ father Keith Ramsay is a colleague of policeman Sam from Cost of Repairs. Dixie’s is where Gavin and Jace literally run into each other for the first time. I was happy to meet some of the characters from the previous books again, even though only in passing. Also, one of the loose threads from the previous books was tied up nicely in here. Weight of Silence is a worthy continuation to a very enjoyable series, and even though it can be read as a standalone, I’d recommend to read the books in order for maximum enjoyment.

However, two things kept this book from being completely perfect for me. The first was the fundamental secret, the one all of Jace’s other secrets came back to and revolved around. It just didn’t quite fit in with the description of his family as a whole–I can’t give away more in order to not be spoilerish, but that just didn’t sit right with me, even thought it’s theoretically conceivable that a scraed, overwhelmed teenager would act this way.

The second, and somewhat bigger issue that I had was the ending. It was sweet, romantic, fitting both Gavin’s and Jace’s personalities, but after the harsh and sometimes raw realism of the rest of the book, the ending–at least to me–sounded overly starry-eyed. It left me on a low note despite the fact that it was a very positive ending. But well, this might be just me, and others might love the book exactly for its ending.

Overall, this book was a very enjoyable page-turner with characters with whom I totally fell in love. I can only warmly recommend it.

Review originally written for reviewsbyjessewave.com on June 14, 2013...more

This story is set in the near future, there’s now a vaccine against HIV, the third Gulf War is imminent, and British beer promoter Jay Wells takes hisThis story is set in the near future, there’s now a vaccine against HIV, the third Gulf War is imminent, and British beer promoter Jay Wells takes his all-girl promotional team to Bahrain, where all the American and British soldiers are waiting for their deployment right now. That’s how Jay meets Damon O’Connor, a Marines Staff Sergeant who doesn’t seem as into the girls as all the other soldiers are but instead seems unable to keep his eyes off Jay, the only male in the team (or “Beer Squad”, as Jay calls the group of handpicked international beauties who help him sell beer by throwing their assets around).

So far so good, it was an interesting setup–a beer promotion campaign in the Middle East is certainly something you don’t read about every day–and the characters started out well-drawn and interesting, from Jay, the first person POV narrator and Jackie, Jay’s assistant, down to the beer squad girls. Damon was a rather unlikable character at first, but he redeemed himself later on. I didn’t like how he acted, but in the end, I could understand where he came from in a way.

This was one of those stories where the main characters keep running into each other by chance for a while before forming a real connection. While with this setup, having them meet too often can seem forced, it can also make relating to them as a couple a bit difficult, and this was the case here for me. The main reason why Damon and Jay together didn’t make much sense to me at first lay in the nature of their encounters. I don’t want to become too spoilerish here, but their first few hookups went down in a way that I, had someone treated me the way Damon treated Jay, I’d have kicked them six ways to Sunday. With steam behind. Okay, perhaps Jay got off on humiliation, but nothing in his characterization before–and nothing in the way he behaved with Damon later–pointed that way, so the fact kept puzzling me.

The abovementionend setup also meant that Damon and Jay didn’t have that much onpage time together. In fact, the majority of Jay’s dialogue happened with Jackie, his assistant. And even though she was a great, likable character, Jay’s lengthy interactions with her took away from his building of a relationship with Damon. Which resulted in their connection, when it finally came to really blossom out, feeling rushed and somewhat out of the blue, given their previous interactions.

Aside from the main pairing’s relationship feeling slightly off, I had two major issues with this story. One, the Middle East setting didn’t matter much aside from providing a cliché laden conflict situation, and secondly, the way said conflict dissolved into thin air later with Jackie’s help and a conveniently fortunate coincidence felt rather contrived.

On the plus side, I liked the writing in and of itself a lot. The tone was realistic and full of a wry sense of humor that, as far as I’m concerned, fit in nicely with Jay’s narrative voice. Also, even though I certainly didn’t like how Damon treated Jay, his behavior struck me as quite realistic too, given his background and personality. As for the sex scenes, they were seriously hot–in a rather harsh, blunt way–and pleasantly low on purple prose. What I also liked a lot was the rather open ending–a HFN ending that left a lot of room for me to fantasize about the characters.

Spousal abuse often leaves behind more than the visible scars with the victim; the mental damage often far exceeds the physical harm. The character ofSpousal abuse often leaves behind more than the visible scars with the victim; the mental damage often far exceeds the physical harm. The character of Cole suffers from a mental chaos of fear, shame, guilt, and humiliation that has him always on the edge, ready to cut and run at the first hint that his ex-boyfriend might have tracked him down–again, since this has happened several times already over the two years since Cole left his abuser.

And now Cole feels like a sitting duck, so to speak, trapped in his rural North Carolina hometown with no money but his parent’s legacy to take care of. As he says himself, his father was a collector and his mother was a hoarder, so this might take a while, since Cole can’t afford to have his parents’ property steamrollered and be done with like he’d love to do. Enter Jeremy Collins who seems like a godsend to Cole. Not only is Jeremy an antiques dealer with an unparalleled knack for sniffing out valuable items in what Cole thinks is only a pile of junk, he volunteers his help–for a cut of the yield, but since Cole figures that without Jeremy there wouldn’t be much of a yield to begin with, he gladly accepts the offer.

Soon the two begin a careful dancing around each other. Jeremy’s interest seems to go beyond a mere business relationship, which has Cole confused, and wary at the same time. For one, due to his parents’ quirkiness, Cole used to be considered an outsider and freak during his youth, and he can’t believe anyone in his hometown could ever overlook his past. And then, his history as an abuse victim has left Cole with major trust issues; he simply doesn’t dare to open up to Jeremy, much less begin a relationship with him.

But Jeremy is nothing if not patient. He has his own painful past to deal with; an abundance of personal losses have left him somewhat commitment-shy, and yet he can’t resist the attraction he feels for Cole. Not that he really wanted to, in the end.

It will take all of Cole’s survivor’s bravery and all of Jeremy’s gentle and patient persuasiveness to bring these two together.

This was a captivatingly written story and an engrossing read. I really loved the writing style, smooth and flowing with just the right amount of humor thrown in to keep this from tipping over into misery, despite the various serious subjects that were brought up over the course of the story. I also thought the hurt/ comfort theme very well executed–no miracle healing through sex in here, and no love conquers all either. The relationship between Cole and Jeremy builds slowly, gradually, at times in a one step forward, two steps back way that I thought fit both their personalities and past histories perfectly.

Speaking of which, I found both characters very well-drawn, three dimensional and realistic, both Cole, the narrator, and Jeremy, whom we only get to see through Cole’s eyes. There wasn’t much secondary cast to speak of, except for Martin, Cole’s ex-boyfriend, who was mostly a specter in the background and yet very much present in the impact he still had on Cole’s life.

However, here was also the only issue I had with this book, because the eventual solution to the abuser/abuse victim issue came a little out of left field. Although realistic, this scene felt a little rushed, a little too easy, but this might be only me and others might think differently.

At any case, it was beautiful to watch Cole fight to overcome the ghosts of his past, beautiful how Jeremy offered him support and understanding and found comfort of his own in doing so. It didn’t take me long to root for them big time, and I was happy to see them together.

All in all, I can warmly recommend this beautifully written, hurt/comfort themed story.

**spoiler alert** First of all, this is a quiet book. It’s a slow-paced, silent tale about two men’s journey toward each other and to themselves. But**spoiler alert** First of all, this is a quiet book. It’s a slow-paced, silent tale about two men’s journey toward each other and to themselves. But this is exactly what makes this story so powerful–it doesn’t need to rely on action, noise or speed to capture the reader’s interest. It’s moving, depressing in parts yet optimistic in others, it’s honest, sweet, funny and heartbreakingly sad just like life itself.

Particularly when it comes to the struggles Kellen has to cope with in his day to day life. When we first meet him, he’s an outgoing guy; not quite a party animal, but he likes to go out with his friends. He’s close to forty, an author who just self-published his first novel, and even though he may not have a lot of money until his book starts to really sell, he gets by.That is, until he realizes that his mother isn’t the person she used to be. Her mind is detoriating, and Kellen finds himself compelled to gradually leave his own life behind in order to become her caretaker. While this is hard enough in and of itself, it’s even harder for Kellen, given his mother’s personality–and not lastly, his own, since he is every bit as proud, fiercely independent and loath to ask for help as his mother is.

I found this part really wonderfully done. Anybody who ever had to deal with a person who suffered from dementia of any kind will be able to relate to what happened to Kellen’s mother–the slow, gradual, unstoppable downward spiral. First goes memory, then learned conventions, then instincts until nothing remains but a husk of a person. The person affected may stop noticing the process after a while, but the caretaker doesn’t. In this book, neither the slow detoriation of Kellen’s mother nor Kellen’s own growing despair and suffering were glossed over in any way; and yet the whole issue was handled with dignity and respect. And above all this, whatever Kellen’s mother did or how Kellen reacted, their refusal to accept help, let alone ask for it, were firmly based on their respective personalities and history. Perfectly crafted and heartbreakingly sad to watch. Kellen really needed to hit rock bottom, needed to almost break under the strain before he realized there’s no shame in taking the hand that reaches out to him.

Mike’s hand, that is; and even if I found Kellen the better-drawn and the more impressive of the two, it’s Mike who grew on me most, he was just such a wonderful guy. Not that I didn’t have my problems with him–first and foremost with how very shy and solitary he is.

(view spoiler)[A thirty-seven-year old virgin? In this day and age? I’m not saying those couldn’t exist, but I really had a problem wrapping my head around that fact, however pimply, insecure, prone to attacks of sweating and tongue-tied someoneused to be in his teens and twens. Particularly with the way Mike was shown interacting with his co-workers, his sister, her husband and their (wonderful!) kids. However, the virginity thing otherwise fit the way his personality was drawn, it was, if not probable, so at least possible, and this is why I put it under a spoiler tag. Others may not have a problem with it. (hide spoiler)]

However, Mike coming out of his shell–or rather, Kellen coaxing him out of it–was so sweet to watch. My heart went out to Mike and the way he kept expecting the inevitable–having his heart broken– and practically analyzed his way there with clinical distance while at the same time he couldn’t help falling for Kellen, which eventually led to the expected result. But he came out stronger afterward, not broken–the change in his personality was remarkable and yet there was no change at all. Mike was always this reliable, generous, selfless person, but it took Kellen to make Mike recognize himself, and Kellen specifically, not just anybody. For once Mike came into his own, their roles reversed, and it was Mike who made Kellen open up, who drew him out. I couldn’t nelp cheering them on–they were just so perfect for each other.

Oh, yes, and the cat really is fantastic.

Warmly recommended.

Review originally written for www.reviewsbyjessewave.com["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more

Jeweler Mark Mendelson had a large number of his designs stolen from him many years ago, and when he claimed having been wronged, nobody believed him.Jeweler Mark Mendelson had a large number of his designs stolen from him many years ago, and when he claimed having been wronged, nobody believed him. On the contrary, he was accused of being jealous of his then-boyfriend “Cole” Porter, who not only stole Mark’s designs, but even won an award with a ring he made after one of them. Since then, Mark worked hard to re-establish his reputation in the jewelry industry, and he succeeded, doing better than ever before. He also cut all ties with Cole, never again wanting anything to do with the man. So when Liam comes to Mark with a blueprint of that very same infamous ring, demanding Mark craft it for him, Mark is taken aback and all but throws Liam out of his shop. But Mark is also intrigued. Liam obviously has a personal connection of sorts with Cole, although he won’t come clear about the nature of said connection for the longest time, and he is persistent, returning to the shop and insisting on commissioning the ring to Mark. As they get to know each other more, Mark bit by bit reveals the trauma of his past relationship with Cole–and its ending–to Liam.

On the other hand, Liam remains secretive. It takes an attempt on Mark’s life to get Liam to talk, and even then, he does so only reluctantly. However, what little Liam reveals is enough to convince Mark he has to face Cole once again in order to be able to stop looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.

Parts of this book I liked a lot, mainly the character of Mark, his talent, the passion he had for his profession, and his never-give-up-attitude. Liam, serene, calm and loyal to a fault, was a well-wrought character too, as was his conflicted, abused cousin Jon–and Cole, the bad guy in this story, was so over the top he was already good again, very much like the villain in some James Bond movie.

Also, the premise in and of itself was intriguing–the plagiarism affair, the artistic rivalry between Mark and Cole, Liam’s unexpected request, all this had the potential for a good mystery story.

But the mystery part was also where my problems with this story started. Even after a reread, I couldn’t figure out the actual motive at the basis of Liam’s request that Mark make the ring. Although this very question was addressed several times over the course of the story, it left me confused; either I missed the underlying logic somehow or there really wasn’t any.

Also, the romantic part, which was really more a subplot of sorts, wasn’t overly convincing to me. Liam’s secretiveness about the true nature of his connection to Cole appeared far-fetched, especially seeing as it was already revealed in the blurb. Liam’s closemouthedness was one of the reasons why I had problems to relate to the supposed attraction/connection between him and Mark. Despite their erotic encounters, as for me, there wasn’t a whole lot of chemistry between them.

I think this was also why I found the ending rather unsatisfactory. After a furious, action-filled finale, Liam and Mark suddenly were together. Perhaps. Or not. To me, the ending was too open and came a bit too out of the blue to be even remotely conclusive.

All in all, this was a story with an interesting premise and interesting characters that attempted a lot but, at least in my opinion, didn’t come up to the expectations it had raised....more

Bander is Jake’s last name, but it’s also what he is. Banders are rare; for all he knows, Jake is the last of his kind. Which, as he tells himself4.75

Bander is Jake’s last name, but it’s also what he is. Banders are rare; for all he knows, Jake is the last of his kind. Which, as he tells himself, is just fine, he likes being on his own best anyway. After all, he needs to protect the secret of his dual nature in order to be able to live his life in peace. So he cultivates the grumpy misanthropic image he has copied from his friend and mentor Walton, avoiding to form bonds of any kind to anyone, and has built walls around his heart as thick as Fort Knox’s ever since the only man whom he ever trusted turned out to be more interested in the bander than in Jake.

It works for Jake.

Until he meets Vaughn, that is, a man who looks like the spitting image of the man who betrayed him once and yet couldn’t be more different.

Vaughn used to live for pleasure, traveling the world for fun and only doing what catches his fancy at any given moment, his only care in life avoiding boredom. He was born rich and thought he’d always be. But one day, all his wealth is gone, and suddenly Vaughn needs to earn his living. By chance more than anything, Vaughn gets a hold on a job as a manual laborer at the Ark, the animal sanctuary run by Jake, and he’s determined to do anything in his power to keep it. For one, he finds to his surprise that he likes the physical work. And for another, the Ark is where Jake is, and that’s where Vaughn wants to be.

Vaughn and Jake have met before, mutual disconcertment rapidly turning into equally mutual fascination. But while Vaughn throws himself wholeheartedly into the novel experience of working hard and getting under Jake’s skin, Jake shies away, along the lines of once bitten, twice shy. However, Jake can’t resist Vaughn’s charm for long.

This story in and of itself followed many oft-walked paths of (m/m) romance , but it was told in such a lighthearted tone that it flowed easily and smoothly, and yet never turned fluffy or trivial. It was a delight to see Jake interact with the teenage volunteers, the animals and with his mentor Walton, all gruff and bristles and golden heart. And with Vaughn, of course, who was just a breath of fresh air. Sparks started to fly between those two almost right from the beginning, but once they got to know each other (and got over the obligatory cross-purposes-talking-induced misunderstanding) there was a lot more between them than mere physical attraction.

Both main characters were nicely drawn. Vaughn, on first sight a quite superficial never-do-well, turned out to be courageous, surprisingly resourceful and faithful to both his airhead cousin and of course, to Jake. And Jake, whom Vaughn initially calls a sourpuss, and quite appropriately so, shows undreamt-of devotion to Vaughn and emotional depths that motivate him to go out of his way in order to make Vaughn happy.

The actual plot was a bit far-fetched, but imaginative and consistent… and really, it was a fun story where everybody got what they deserved in the end. Well, almost everybody.

This was a refreshing change from the usual shifter fare, and not only for the fact that Jake turned into something a lot more original than a wolf, and there wasn’t a fated mate in sight.

Plus, no one growled “mine” during sex, another nice bonus point.

Instead, I got a wonderful pairing of tall, dark and silent with bright, vivid and chatty. Flintstone and spark. Rock and wind. Jake and Vaughn complement each other beautifully, even though it takes both of them a while to see that, and I had a great time being a fly on their wall. Warmly recommended.

This story had a really vivid sense of place and time, not lastly to Max’s strong narrative voice. It’s 1916, it’s New Orleans, and everything about tThis story had a really vivid sense of place and time, not lastly to Max’s strong narrative voice. It’s 1916, it’s New Orleans, and everything about the writing transported me right there, from the colorful and detailed descriptions of places, scents and sounds to the character’s mindsets and language. Max, as the narrator, is the best-drawn character; I found him very realistic, down to some of the things he unapologetically did that jibed against my present-day sensibilities. I liked Max, his hands-on practicality, his smart courage and his dry sense of humor. There were also some very well-drawn secondary characters in the book, from Max’s fellow cop James to the bordello queens and prostitutes. Tommy, who the reader only gets to see through Max’s eyes, was a dear, innocent and sweet even though he owned some of the raciness you’d expect from a boy who’d grown up in a bordello, and brimming with life. He was just the one to coax Max out of his shell and make him more daring than he’d otherwise have been. He was also very young, not only in years, which lead to some temper tantrums on his part. What I liked best about Tommy was his musicality; music wasn’t only something he did for a living, it was a part of him, integral to his existence.

Despite both main characters’ mutual long-time crush, their romantic relationship unfolded slowly, very much in tune with the spirit of the time and also with both characters’ personalities. Unfortunately, as far as I’m concerned, the eroticism veered off into a D/s relationship of sorts that I didn’t care much for; it might also have been in tune with their respective personalities, but to me, it read a bit contrived. But that might be only me.

The weakest part of the book was the mystery; I had the villain and his motives figured out pretty early on while the characters remained clueless. That might’ve been intentional, but for me, it took away from the fun of reading.

My issues aside, this was a very entertaining and pleasurable read. The writing was fast-paced, skillful and laced with Max’s delicious humor, the characters were likable and well-drawn and their romance compelling. Recommended.

In the dystopian future of the Terran Protectorate, perfection is the norm. Humanity has found a way to fashion anything as desired: skin and eye coloIn the dystopian future of the Terran Protectorate, perfection is the norm. Humanity has found a way to fashion anything as desired: skin and eye color, build, looks, mental faculties. And health; above and beyond anything else, health is mandatory, whether you’re destined to be a mid-level, middle-class grunt or an elite high-achiever. But what if a condition, a “flaw”, remains undetectable until manifestation later in life? As anything less than perfect is just plain unthinkable in this world, such taints on the Protectorate’s Brave New World can’t be suffered; they have to disappear as quickly and quietly as possible.

This is what happens to Adam Yuga, one bred for the Protectorate’s elite. On the verge of his biggest success, he’s found flawed and done away with, an outcast, expected to meekly resign to his fate. But Adam wants to live, he fights to live, and since his breeding and training were aiming at making him the best, he perseveres longer than expected. Which makes him pop up on the radar of some Protectorate leaders who want to conceal the reality of the abovementioned flaws at all cost. Eventually, Adam finds refuge with the Bideshi, who are human but the very antithesis to anything the Protectorate values–and vice versa. And what started as the hunt for one weak, ill man turns into a fratricidal war the outcome of which could be the end of the Bideshi–or even, the annihilation of mankind.

This book was a revelation of beauty and a delight to read for me on so many levels, I don’t even know where to start. Working inward from the outside on, the first thing that caught my eye was the creative worldbuilding.

As a reader, I felt lead into these worlds rather than having them presented to me. Together with Adam, the main viewpoint character, I walked the glittering, chiseled architectural Protectorate environment with natural familiarity, and explored the earthy, organic, mysterious randomness of the Bideshi ships alongside him. Other characters’ viewpoints provided different mindsets and views so that in the end I had a rounded, complete impression of this universe without once having information dumped on me.

Speaking of characters: As this book is, at least on the surface, mainly about Adam, he’s the best-wrought out character in here. But even though the cast is numerous, most of the secondary players are just as colorful and muti-dimensional as Adam each recognizable and unique. Surprisingly, of all people Lochlan remained somewhat of a mystery to me, a bit distant and difficult to take to, but that might be only me. However, the most interesting character and the one who almost stole the show from the leads was Ixchel, the Bideshi mother-ship’s all-mother, a blind woman who sees deeply into the mysteries of the universe and the human soul.

This story wasn’t quite a romance. The main love interests, Adam and Lochlan, didn’t have much of a connection until well past the halfway point, and the plot wasn’t really about their relationship at all. If I were to put a genre label on this, I’d call it sci-fi with strong (high) fantasy elements. But actually, at the core this was a visually stunning new rendering of the resurrection myth, the oldest story in the world, interwoven and layered with other familiar, timeless concepts like the bitterness of the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, expulsion from Paradise, fratricide… given the story's epic proportions, this book was actually quite short. ;-)

However, this wasn’t a perfect book, and I’m not blind to its flaws. The plot had inconsistencies, mainly in regard to characters' motives and behavior, which made the narrative flow a bit potholed at times; and while the worldbuilding was extensive, some elements still required a lot of suspension of disbelief (in the “fiction needs to make sense” sense.) With all the meaningful deeper meaning, the actual events of the story paled a bit, which also had the narrative flow lagging in places. Though, while reading, I was so engrossed in the story that those issues didn’t actually bother me much, and only in hindsight, with a bit of distance to the book’s powerful eloquence it occurred to me that this story might’ve tried a bit too hard.

And still, what a ride. Easy fare this book is not, but if you’re willing to let yourself sink into its magic, you’re in for an amazing reading experience.

As for speed and suspense, this book actually didn’t leave much to be desired for my action-loving reader’s heart.

The main character’s distinctive, caAs for speed and suspense, this book actually didn’t leave much to be desired for my action-loving reader’s heart.

The main character’s distinctive, catchy narrative voice gripped me from word one. Ardan Boyle, the 1st person POV narrator, is one of the best hitmen money can buy. If he accepts a job, he gets it done, fast and clean by preference but he doesn’t shy away from messy if necessary. He has never been caught since he sticks by a set of rigid rules the most important of which is never to get attached.

Ardan kills with a clean conscience since he only goes for those who had it coming–but still, he remembers each and every one of his victim’s names and his deeds haunt his dreams. This comes clear through various flashbacks on Ardan’s jobs; these flashbacks at once add to the book’s fast pace with gripping action scenes and help with Ardan’s characterization. (for those who are sensitive to this kind of thing, a little warning: there’s quite a bit of blood and gore in those flashbacks.) Ardan’s solution is having no emotions whatsoever, all he allows himself to feel is various degrees of comfort. Thus his view of the world is almost that of an alien, so without ties is he.

But Ardan has grown tired of feeling nothing, and he has gotten to a point in his life where he’s ready to wake up from his emotional hibernation. And so, when chance and happenstance bring him together with sociable, winsome Brad Myles, Ardan comes out of his shell hell for leather, from loneliest man on earth to full commitment and from asexual to insatiable in a matter of days.

Normally, I’d bristle at that kind of thing but here I could accept it since it totally fit Ardan’s all-or-nothing personality and the frame of mind Ardan was in by the time he met Brad. Though I didn’t miss the fact that Ardan basically latched onto the first person who ever showed him the least bit of human warmth.

The writing was skillful and did its best to paint a three-dimensional picture of Brad, but I could never get a good reading of him. Which was one of the things that bothered me here. Except for being a generally open, friendly and sexually forward guy, I couldn’t see anything in Brad that would make Ardan–who survived on borderline paranoid circumspection and meticulous planning so far, mind you–throw all caution to the wind like he did.

This book relies heavily, not to say exclusively, on Ardan’s characterization and character development; from his first encounter with Brad onward, the plot in and of itself was sketchy at best. Here, too, the writing was the saving grace, at least for me–it kept me turning pages fast all the way through the rather trite plot twist near the end.

Until the book just stopped.

Just like this. Wham. Left me hanging, not merely from a cliff but right in thin air.

Now I get it that this is the first book in a series, and that it needs to have a handful of loose threads to be knit together in future installments. But this? felt like an excerpt, an appetizer, a really long first chapter with the rest of the book missing, and I couldn’t help feeling as if someone thought me a fat bass they wanted to hook and therefore had to chum.

So, even if I really, really enjoyed the book and inhaled it in one go (which wasn’t taxing at all thanks to its short length and fast-paced, compelling writing), it left a sour aftertaste with me.

I’d still recommend the book for the sheer enjoyment of it, but consider yourself warned. Right now, I feel like the ride this book took me on was actually a ride I was taken for.

Even though I certainly want to know where the ride is going to go next....more

I was impressed with the characterizations in this book. Mainly with Jake and Gabe, since both are so lovingly drawn, well-wrought and realistic. JakeI was impressed with the characterizations in this book. Mainly with Jake and Gabe, since both are so lovingly drawn, well-wrought and realistic. Jake may be caught in a vicious cycle of guilt, nightmares, sleep-deprivation and depression, but he’s still capable of falling in love with Gabe, of feeling affection and responsibility for his family and friends. Gabe is used to cutting his own path, headfirst though walls if necessary, and Jake’s stonewalling confuses and irritates him to the point of giving up. But Gabe is not averse to seeing his own mistakes and learning from them. He and Jake go through an admirable growth over the course of the story, in conjunction with each other and together, and I could really see them share a future.

The secondary cast was well-drawn too, particularly Jake’s sister, one of the most complex females I’ve met in m/m romance so far. She has a story of her own, carries guilt and trauma and problems of her own in spades–in a way, she’s the least suited person imaginable to take care of Jake. And yet, at the same time she was the only one who loved him enough to care about him at all. For this once, the caretaking family member isn’t portrayed as either a saint or a bitch. Alice is a real person who worries about Jake but also loses patience with him, who guilt-trips and nags and bullies Jake but also stands up for him and would always have his back if he’d but let her. The relationship between the siblings is as complex and multi-layered as their respective characters; I found this awesomely well done and again, totally life-like.

The romance between Gabe and Jake was inextricably interwoven with Jake’s struggle with PTSD, the latter was actually the former’s front, back and center. Up to the crucial plot turn where Jake’s focus turned away from his self to their them, from his past to their future. I thought this particular scene the strongest in the book and the weakest at the same time, since I couldn’t quite fathom where Gabe found the wisdom and maturity to act and talk like he did. However, the pitfall of “love conquers all” was successfully avoided, and with a little suspension of disbelief and from a romance reader’s point of view, the solution they found was beautiful and uplifting.

Parts of the background of this story were just as amicably detailed as the characters, namely the tattooing and Gabe’s artistic work. Other things were so sketchy they were hard to comprehend, at least for me, for example what happened to Jake directly after his return or how he came to live with his sister in the first place. However, these were minor niggles that didn’t take away from my enjoyment of this story.

If you’re in the mood to accompany Jake and Gabe on their bumpy road to happiness, try this book; for me it was an intense and very enjoyable ride.