Anastasia Rosen-Jones (formally Marcia E. Rosen), New Horizons Small “Zones Of Peace” Project Executive Director and Founder.
A personal and professional blog exploring the vision behind the New
Horizons ZOP and how it reflects my journey from blindness to recovery.

Finding Light in the Darkness

Anastasia Rosen-Jones

Anastasia Rosen-Jones (formerly Marcia E. Rosen) is a retired psychotherapist with more than thirty-five years in the mental health field. Now a community development and violence prevention coach, consultant and trainer, she is the author of five books in progress, including "The Middle East Crisis In My Backyard" and numerous articles.

Anastasia makes her home in the mountains above Harpers Ferry where she is happily nested with the birds, the trees and the squirrels. She is at her most fulfilled watching the sunset from the deck of her home -- and/or -- sitting around a campfire in the woods telling and listening to stories.

Followers

Visitor Map

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Today

Today
I want to hear the voice of my heart speak clearly enough to me that I can, at
last, prepare myself for my, again and again, scheduled and rescheduled, radio
show, “Finding my voice.”

Almost one year ago, on my second radio show broadcast,
on Anastasia The Storyteller,
on January 29, 2013, I found myself, after years of dreaming it, situated so as
to be able to share, in total, the story I have most wanted to communicate, “The
One About What I Learned From Watergate.”With that show as a background setting, I set
out to impart, that day, a central part of my life’s journey that I believe
shaped who and what I am -- and -- from which, I believe, I can best offer back
something of benefit to others.

Note: Listening to this
podcast can be tedious I find. There are many strands introduced that
cannot be followed through on, simply. Nonetheless, I hope this first offering
can serve as a starting point for treasures to be realized as we go forth. And,
that you will listen to it with an intention to build
a conversation of significance with me through it.

I
was grateful to have this opportunity. Before too long, through this radio show
of my own, supported by the articles I write for this site, and with the encouragement
of friends, I experienced myself as on the way to the realization of a
long-held goal, sharing in a manner, I believed, that could, most fully, be
useful.

By
summertime, this platform of mine had freed up my voice so as to as be better
able to articulate the story and its relevance to current affairs, both social
and political. So much so that the first draft of a new book, “Hot Pants,
Motorcycles and K Street,” popped out of me.

By
early Autumn I was on the way of my mission, boosted by a hard-won, bountiful
support network. At long last I could see ahead to a mission completed. Then, in the midst of reveling, I took a hit;
an eye infection of grave concern sent me back into the pit of potential
blindness, again. I would need to cut back on outer involvements to concentrate
on first things first; body, mind and spirit. Thus, from late September until
now, I had little energy for offering my voice to greater concerns than my own
immediate ones.

To
know me, superficially, you would think, speaking comes, easily and naturally to
me. So you might not have thought I’d be so challenged to keep up what had
become my daily pace. In some ways that is accurate, conversation does come almost
effortlessly to me. Yet I have come, more and more, to realize that much of that
apparent ease is the product of a straightforwardness I was accustomed to as a
child, but that was, over time, replaced by a mask, hiding the true voice of me.

That
which had, originally, been authentically me became, later, a performance; a
natural tendency converted into an artful tool, a craftsperson’s skill,
designed to affect a desired outcome, maintaining connection without giving
away what had, by then, become secreted.

Without
my being conscious of it, until much later, my natural love for the people
around me and the security and spontaneity, so much a part of that innocent
world of mine, was replaced by fear and caution; a certain sense that simply presenting
myself as the me I had been was no longer safe or uncomplicated; a usual set of
adaptations for a child who was being abused which, by then, I was.

Having
said all of this, I am accounting, to both you and myself, for the challenge I
have had, recently, in preparing for, what I hope will be my next AnastasiaThe Storyteller Radio Show. (Consult this link to find details and scheduling information for "Finding My Voice".) It comes down to this.

“My head/intellectual mind has a voice as does
my heart. The former is strong and articulate. The latter, the voice of my
heart, is quiet and mystical, not easily given to words. Often she …. hides
herself while the voice of my mind can readily make itself known, if I choose.
Not so, the voice of my heart. She struggles to express herself.”Yet it is the two of these
voices, together in harmony, that I must do my best to express on this show, on
my blogs and in this new book, “Hot Pants, Motorcycles and K Street.”

This
is what it means for me to “find my voice.” It has been most difficult to do
this recently.

In summation, allow me to say that this has been
a wonderful year for me; a year, perhaps more than any other, during which I
found my true voice, more fully than ever before. I thank all of you who have
been a part of this adventure, participating in it and, also, giving to me of your
best self while supporting this growth of mine and New Horizons and its various
projects and programs.

I hope you will continue, in the New
Year, to do this and share with me/us your true voice as I/we struggle,
sometimes, sometimes not, to do the same with our dearest wishes for a bright
future.