We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.

I have had the biggest confidence boost as of lately and I guess in a way it is because I took my advice. I needed some good in my life and I worked on trying to get that.

Everyone at university is really nice and they all talk to you or ask you how you are doing, no one is mean to anyone and I really like that.

I got a job and not like the one I had before where I looked after a little girl while she was at the gym for £20, but a real job where I am a waitress and I work at Hampton court.

Nothing bad has happened to me that has sent me spiralling into my ‘sad’ place. Or that may just be because of the medication…hmmmmmm

I have to admit that a confidence boost is something that I have missed for a while now and I am actually excited about going to work on Saturday. I cannot wait for this week to be over. Not because it is bad or it is upsetting me, but I want to prove that I can make it through my first week as a full-time student and a part-time waitress.

In a way I am also feeling a big high from the fact that this gives me more independence and I can use my money, not my parents. I am hoping to save up a lot so that in my third year I can go abroad and study or at least try to study abroad. I am thinking about saving up to travel in the summer if I can get time off work. 😀 Ha Ha it is funny to even say that, ‘get time off work’ as I haven’t been able to say that before. My dad has been on my case to get a job since I turned 16 and when I got my last one in April, he still wasn’t full happy as it wasn’t a full part-time job, but now he is ok with my job and he wants me to quit if my studies start lagging.

I admit, I feel different with this confidence boost. I don’t feel like I am that shy, awkward year 7 (11 years old) who had no friends, no self-confidence and kept her head in a book. Now? Well now I write books for fun and I have more confidence in myself and I have friends inside university and outside university. I am finally happy, but again that could be the meds…but I have only been on then 12 days….hmmmmm, anyway…

It amazes me what a confidence boost can really do for someone, especially someone like me who felt so low to the point that I couldn’t even be bothered to get out of bed, but now, I feel invigorated and I feel better about life. I feel like there is no point being sad because I have too much going for me now. I am smiling more, especially when I put on my new uniform.

Having Self confidence can increase a lot of things in your life and it can give you a lot of benefits such as

I guess the real reason that I lost practically all of myself confidence was because from year 6 (aged 10) onwards, people were mean to me for a number of reasons:

I’d shattered my leg due to a non cancerous tumour so I couldn’t do any sports

I’d missed year 5 so I was behind

I didn’t have friends when I returned

This bullying continued into year 7, 8 and 9 because I was still the same awkward, geeky child with glasses, spots and no friends. I had the worst class ever, they were hated by all the teachers. My self confidence got less and less as time went on to the point that I barely had any, but when I got some friends in year 10 and fought back against all the mean people. My friends made me realise that you have to laugh at the funny things in life and you need to shrug off what people say.

Self confidence is something that once you have, you feel great about, but it is something that can easily be stabbed away from you. My self confidence levels have been up and down like a rollercoaster at Thorpe Park, but I am dealing and they are becoming easier to manage.

I would like to keep this confidence and I hope I can shrug the sadness off if/when something bad happens to me, but that remains to be seen. All I know is that I will use my wit and sarcasm to shrug off all the hateful people because that is the shield that I have spent years building.

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About oddchildout

18 and at University. Good with computers, well I have to be when I work with them and getting a degree in them, I guess. I live at home with my parents and two sisters. Not much really, but I am the Oddchildout.

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18 and at University. Good with computers, well I have to be when I work with them and getting a degree in them, I guess. I live at home with my parents and two sisters. Not much really, but I am the Oddchildout.