Mann, I’m Broke: New Year, Same You

So it’s the middle of January, and if we’ve done our math correctly you should just about be getting over the headaches and palpitations from giving up booze, your waistline should be relatively normal again and you should be starting to come to terms with the fact that yes it may be a new year, but it’s absolutely the same old you… You’re broke.

Again.

It’s been a long hard slog since that December paycheque rolled in and partying every day throughout the festive period is a mere memory. We’ll never understand why the man pays us that week early anyways, doesn’t he know we can’t be trusted!?

And whilst the new you is zen A.F. right now and couldn’t possibly think about polluting your temple-esque body with that sinner juice, we all know as soon as that pay cheque drops next week you’ll be straight to the Courthouse for a cheeky six after work, and dancing on the bar again before you know it.

Well sister, you’ve been here before, and you’ll sure as hell be here again; so pull yourself together, because you are strong and independent… And we’re totally going to hold your hand through this.

Yup, you can thank us later, but we’ve gone all Craig David circa 2000 and put together seven days of super fun time freebie activities to see you through ‘til payday.

DAY 1: Pretend Noa Bakehouse is Central Perk

This whole January thing would have been a whole lot easier if Netflix weren’t so damn racist to Manxies and gave us our basic human right of being able to binge watch our favourite F.R.I.E.N.D.S. whenever the hell we want to, right? Well, don’t let the bastards get you down!

First up, sign our petition to get Friends added to Manx Netflix then grab your 5 besties, head to Noa Bakehouse, bag the best sofas, a cup of joe and pretend you’re in Central Perk whilst you sit out an wait for Mr Netflix to have a change of heart.

DAY 2: Get fetch or die trying

Yeah yeah, we know you’ve been booze free for a month and are already well on the road to looking like a Victoria’s Secret model, but fuck it, one last run can’t hurt!

DAY 3: Make a list of all the places you’re going to eat when you’re rich again

DAY 7: Countdown the hours ‘til midnight when you’re rich again and celebrate like it’s NYE all over again

See that wasn’t so hard was it…

Regardless, you made it! And we’re so bloody proud of you! Now, before you rest your weary eyes this evening, have yourself a little read of this article written by an absolute rockstar of an accountant and follow their simple plan to help make next month a little less painful.