As summer comes to a close and I enter in to my 32nd year, I gift myself with acceptance of my abundance and that there is no need for fixing. I will take just the one arrow for pain, thank you very much. 📸

Believe it or not, just like genes, you carry the experiences of your ancestors. My Mother's parents were survivors of the Holocaust. They each had their own families and watch them killed before their eyes. Some of their children were taken away from them and they were left with uncertainty. Their spouses... gone.

Still, they found hope within and escaped. Finding each other, they married and had my Mother. My Mother has explained to me that they would wake her up in the middle of the night from screaming in their dreams. I never got to know my Grandfather, but my Grandmother was extremely private and would hide everything.

Life is painful, and this very painful experience really did happen. I can't even imagine how gut and heart wrenching something like this could be.

They never sought out help for these dreams of reliving the experience. They just stayed in the past, preserving the past. Sure, they had a new child to love, but they never let go of the others. And, I mean, how could one be that capable? Nevertheless, the preservation has been carried through in to generations to come.

I carry with me the tendency to feel like the rug will be ripped right our from underneath me, that I will lose everything and everyone. And that is not real. Of course, I don't always feel this way... just like you and your tendencies. But there are triggers. If I can notice when I am triggered, can I remind myself of this present moment, instead of living in the past? And, this would allow me to see what is real and not real, so to make better choices.