Monday, October 08, 2007

I'll get things going at around 8pm with the Emmitt Smith Chronicles Parables. After that it's a trip to Buffalo as Tony Romo and the 'Boys take on Trent Edwards......yes, Trent Edwards and the Bills. Exciting I know!

Here's what you need to know:

When: 8:30 ESPNWhere: Ralph Wilson StadiumWhy: I have no idea why they're subjecting me to this game.How: Dallas by a lot

"I have on the closed captioned module and i stil can't understand what Emmitt says. Maybe he would make more sense if I tried the SAP setting."- Anon

Umm, probably not. Words like pentrabilitation are not easily translated to Spanish.

4-0 Tribe, "This is absolutely amazing!"- Chip Caray

Settle down.

Oooh look at that! Chris Berman's likeness was carved into a tree. How cool!

"Tony Romo has the mentality to have the sense to make that play."- Emmitt Smith (Via 289)

Good lord.

"Is that really Joe Morgan and not Emmitt?"- Hollywood Wags

They are interchangeable at this point. Whoa some dude has a Jet Pack....should we all have one of those by now._________________________________________________

Let's get this s**t show started folks. I'm on the Bills tonight.....hope you can root against the 'Boys with me! Monday Night Football in Buffalo.....goes together like suicide and kool aid.

Please let Tony and Jaws do another duet.

"Romo Romo Romo"- Jaws"Romo....Romo, Romo Romo"- Kornheiser

Wow Jaws says Trent Edwards reminds him of Tom Brady.

"Why would Dallas care about Buffalo? Because of Hot Wings???"- Tony Kornheiser"Dallas probably has no idea who Trent Edwards is....I don't"- Tony Kornheiser

I hate him so much. No one has ever not belonged on a program more. Not Dennis Miller....not Rush Limbaugh....no one.

8:41- Did Suzy get a makeover on Tyra or something recently....she's looking pretty hot each week. I wanna kiss her.

Kid Rock, JLO, Thurman Thomas, AND Michael Irvin!!!!!!!!!!! No f'ing way!?!?!?!?11111001?!?! You just made my night.

(Please be coked up Irvin....please be coked up.)

What....was.....that? Buffalo looks fun. No really.

8:45- Kickoff goes to Buffalo and McGee has about 1 blocker on the play. Good job special teams. Oh nice! OJ Style throwbacks!!! Marshawn untouched until the secondary, first down Bills. Incomplete pass and then a scramble by Edwards....Losman would not have made that play.

3rd and 4......And Edwards hits Lynch in the hands.....drop. He heard footsteps.

Buffalo to punt.......NO!!!!!!! FAKE!!!!!!!!!!! Moorman for the first down!

"That is onions baby."- Kornheiser

8:51- Well thanks for making it exciting Buffalo. Two runs pick up very little and it's third and long for the Bills. A screen to Robert Royal gets nothing, and let's hope they fake it again.

Wow.....Moorman plants it at the two. Someone pull up the horse trailer.....wait, wrong network.

4-1 Indians with the Yankees threatening in the 2nd.

8:55- Romo is almost sacked for a safety on first down, and the Bills D is hyped! Jones....nothing. 3rd and 11 for the 'Boys.....

9:05- Romo gets a pep talk from T.O. and the Bills are back in business.

What's with the weird 6 Million Dollar Man music when Jaws analyzes a play? I never noticed that before.

Marshawn tries to jump over Dallas and that doesn't work. Buffalo is going for it on 4th down here. I'm hoping for some play action.....of course the Bills don't listen to me and Lynch isn't even close. Bad call. Momentum back to Dallas.

"Here's the defense the Bills have been working on called the Creep....not named after you Tony."- Jaws

Contrived, Not Funny....please stop.

9:15- Bills are more than likely going to run the ball three times in a row now. Run, Screen......First Down? That's not right.

Jaws is all about people sticking feet into the ground.

Trent talks about Bill Walsh and is knocked down next play....incomplete. 3rd and long for the Bills. Edwards had about 5 minutes to throw it, but screens it to A-Train for a few. Bills Punt....Moorman! Moorman!

T.O. introduces the Dallas O....

"Just remember I need no introduction....I'M T.O."- Mike Tirico

Good call Mikey.

END OF THE 1ST, 7-0 BILLS We're staying in this spot because I'm lazy. I'll meet you under that pretty line right there.___________________________________________

9:23- Bills are getting great pressure on Romo, and he should have been picked there for a third time by Greer, but no such luck.

3rd Down and Five and Romo gets blasted, but T.O. bails him out with a great catch. God I hate him, but he's so good. Oooh and a spiking the ball penalty on Owens.

touchdown cowboys (i refuse to give them caps) 7-7 romo to witten

9:33- Great play by Lynch in space and he hauls off a good one. An incompletion and a penalty for the Bills after a great play.

Roscoe Parrish just makes the dumbest move ever after a nice move, but somehow picks up the first down. Jaws praises him, but that was just stupid to try.

"You are so revved up, it's like you're on hot wings."- Kornheiser

Hey! A Lee Evans Sighting (and catch)!!!!

Langston Walker deserves to be bench after giving up on his quarterback, and there's a Cowboys' sack.

A Nice 3rd down pass to Lynch is followed by a screen to Robert Royal for nine. Lynch picks up the first and the Bills are inside the 10.

Tony K tries a Seinfeld reference as the Bills are floundering near the goalline. 3rd and Goal from the six. 1 yard completion and that was a waste. You know the Cowboys are scoring this drive.

10-7 Bills, 3:26 to go.

9:49-

"The last quarterback to throw to picks on his first two passes was Tommy Maddox 15 years ago. So that's like a decade and a half bad start."- Mike Tirico

What?

ROMO HAS A PASS TIPPED AND KELSAY GRABS IT FOR THE TD!!!!!!!!!!!

17-7

9:55-ANOTHER PICK!!!!!!!!!!! INTERCEPTION 4!!!!

"Did anybody see that Cowboys graphic flash by for a second that said aaaaaag? That made my day right there."- Anon

Oh the people did, and you may just want to see the photo for the second half live-blog.

Great completion by Edwards but it's negated by a Dockery hold they're going backwards.

ESPN Graphic: First quarterback to throw 4 ints in the first half since Kyle Orton.

You don't want to be in that company.

10:01- 54 Yarder is missed there, and the Bills are wasting opportunities.

I know this site is "Awful Announcing," but it's so refreshing to have Jaws around to break down film of big plays as they happen, and not Joe Theismann spewing some nonsense about "making plays" or "competing."