Archive for March, 2007

There’s a theory that everything is better with bacon. We believe that theory with all of our heart. To that end, we are introducing our line of bacon formal wear with Uncle Oinker’s Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo. You can get married in bacon, get confirmed in bacon or go to the Oscars in bacon! Wait until Joan Rivers gets a whiff of you. Each Tuxedo is tailored from chemically treated latex print fabric in one of four different sizes. Best of all, it smells just like bacon sizzling in the pan.

SAND LAKE, Mich. (AP) — About 15 million gallons of partially treated sewage water disappeared from a 250,000 square-foot storage lagoon into a sinkhole, but officials don’t know where it went after that.

Kent County utility operator Nathan Danenberg, who runs the sewage treatment system for Sand Lake, discovered the leak in the 8-foot-deep lagoon on Friday while taking samples. It wasn’t clear when or why the leak occurred.

“I don’t know if maybe there are old mines in the area,” Danenberg told The Grand Rapids Press for a story published Tuesday.

“It’s an odd case. A sinkhole gobbled up all the water and we don’t know where it went… It seems to have just gone down into the earth.

SAGINAW — Satirical late-night pundit Stephen Colbert has earned a spot as a Saginaw County tourism booster — and with it a lifetime pass for a trail system that’s free to the public.

The county’s Board of Commissioners voted Tuesday to put Colbert, whose antics have included an obsession with the Saginaw Spirit minor league hockey team, on the Saginaw County Convention and Visitors Bureau’s board, The Saginaw News reported.

The host of “The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central becomes an honorary member of the board, “with all the rights and privileges associated with the position, including a lifetime pass to the Rail Trail,” a proclamation read.

The Saginaw Valley Rail Trail, a county park, covers 9.2 miles of abandoned rail corridor from St. Charles to Saginaw. It’s used for walking, running, horseback riding, cross-country skiing and bike rides.

Last year, the Spirit named its mascot Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle as a tribute to Colbert. His attention to the Spirit on his show has boosted demand for the Ontario Hockey League team’s paraphernalia.

(2007-03-25) — A source close to Dick Cheney said today that the vice president has suggested freeing 15 British sailors and marines from Iranian captivity by trading former President Jimmy Carter for the hostages.

Someone on Presidential hopeful John McCain’s staff is going to be in trouble today. They used a well known template to create his Myspace page. The template was designed by Newsvine Founder and CEO Mike Davidson (original template is here). Davidson gave the template code away to anyone who wanted to use it, but asked that he be given credit when it was used, and told users to host their own image files.

McCain’s staff used his template, but didn’t give Davidson credit. Worse, he says, they use images that are on his server, meaning he has to pay for the bandwidth used from page views on McCain’s site.

Davidson decided to play a small prank on the campaign this morning as retribution. Since he’s in control of some of the images on the site, he replaced one that shows contact information with a statement:

Today I anounce that I have reversed my position and come out in full support of gay mariage…particularly marriage between two passionate females.

WASHINGTON (AP) – Presidential spokesman Tony Snow’s surgery to remove a small growth showed that his cancer has returned, the White House said Tuesday.

Snow, 51, had his colon removed in 2005 and underwent six months of chemotherapy after being diagnosed with colon cancer. A small growth was discovered last year in his lower right pelvic area, and it was removed on Monday. Doctors determined that it was cancerous, and that his cancer had metastized, or spread, to his liver, White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said.

She said Snow is resting comfortably after his surgery and has pledged to aggressively fight the disease with an as-yet-to-be-determined treatment course.

“He said he’s going to beat it again,” Perino said in an emotional morning briefing with White House reporters. “When I talked to him, he was in very good spirits.”

Really bad news. Tony Snow is a great guy. I really liked his work as a news anchor and radio talk show host, I love him as White House Press Secretary. It has been a long time since someone spoke truth to stupid the way Tony does.

It sickens me that most of the left side of the blogosphere will be cheering this news and wishing Tony a painful death — the peace lovers are a hateful bunch.

MADRID (Reuters) – A woman who lost her husband in the 2004 Madrid train bombings displayed an infamous cartoon mocking the Prophet Mohammad on her T-shirt in front of 29, mostly Muslim, suspects on trial for the attacks on Monday.

The woman’s white T-shirt showed Mohammad wearing a bomb as a turban — one of a series published by Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten which unleashed violent protests by some Muslims last year.

Ten bombs ripped through four commuter trains on March 11, 2004, killing 191 people — attacks which public prosecutors blame on a group of Islamist militants inspired by al-Qaeda.

The woman sat in the front row of the court wearing the T-shirt for around half-an-hour before getting up, walking up to the glass cage containing the defendants and finally walking out of the court, judicial sources said.

Good for her.

Of course, this would never be allowed in a courtroom here in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And, lest anyone get their panties in a bunch, this is a terror trial in which 29 terrorists are on trial for using Islam as an excuse to slaughter innocent civilians whom they considered infidels, to make a political point. When the cartoons were first published, no on really cared — it was an exercise in irony. Then, a couple of imams created their own versions of the cartoons, added them to the rest and then went on a little terrorist/riot incitement trip in which dozens of people were killed including a Catholic priest and a nun — tens of thousands rioted. It later turned out that the imams had taken an image from a French hog calling festival with a man calling a hog with a pig nose on his face and passed it off as one of the original cartoons — which it was clearly not.

Religion of peace, indeed. It’s long past time for moderate Muslims to stand up and separate themselves from the “small amount” of their society that deals in terror and murder.

JERUSALEM — A woman with three crocodiles strapped to her waist was stopped at the Gaza-Egypt border crossing after guards noticed that she looked “strangely fat,” officials said Monday.

The woman’s shape raised suspicions at the Rafah terminal in southern Gaza, and a body search by a female border guard turned up the animals, each about 20 inches long, concealed underneath her loose robe, according to Maria Telleria, spokeswoman for the European observers who run the crossing.

The woman looked strangely fat. Even though she was veiled and covered, even with so many clothes on there was something strange,” Telleria said.

The incident, which took place on Thursday, sparked panic at the crossing.

“The policewoman screamed and ran out of the room, and then women began screaming and panicking when they heard,” Telleria said. But when the hysteria died down, she said, “everybody was admiring a woman who is able to tie crocodiles to her body.”

“Admiring a woman who is able to tie crocodiles to her body?” As opposed to what?

What do Palestinians want with exotic animals?

The woman was not the first to try to smuggle exotic wildlife through the Rafah crossing, Dahab said: Another woman tried to bring in a monkey tied to her chest, and other travelers tried to smuggle in exotic birds and a tiger cub.

Trim all fat from the roast. Wash well Soak meat for at least 2 hours in water, salt and vinegar. Remove and pat dry. Place meat in a roaster, lay strips of bacon on top and place quarters of onion beside it. Roast at 35O degrees F. for about 3 hours. 15 minutes before serving, remove bacon strips, coat top of roast with butter and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast another 15 minutes and drizzle butter on top two or three times during this period. Serve Hot. Serves 6 to 8. From _Northern Cookbook_ edited by Eleanor A. Ellis, Information Canada 1973.

Just didn’t think it would be judged as my best work by the blog surfers.

I think it’s time to change the name of the blog to — Absolute Deep Fried Moral Cheese Donkeys and Hot Super Rabbit Dogs.

Whadya think?

And, Leonardo DiCaprio?

I know I didn’t write a single thing about that little pussbag.

Though, he didn’t completely suck in Departed — he is just not at all believable as a tough guy. Richard Simmons could kick his ass on a bad hangover day — after sweatin’ with the oldies in a pile of seventy year old baby oiled man flesh.

Great, what kind of hits am I going to get after that sentence?

And, to those of you that actually know me in person — I haven’t completely lost it. The search results are all true, some of the rest is an inside joke.

With bidding stalled on some of the least desirable residences in Detroit’s collapsing housing market, even the fast-talking auctioneer was feeling the stress.
“Folks, the ground underneath the house goes with it. You do know that, right?” he offered.

After selling house after house in the Motor City for less than the $29,000 it costs to buy the average new car, the auctioneer tried a new line: “The lumber in the house is worth more than that!”

As Detroit reels from job losses in the U.S. auto industry, the depressed city has emerged as a boomtown in one area: foreclosed property.

The city, which has lost more than half its population in the past 30 years and struggled with rising crime, failing schools and other social problems, largely missed out on the housing boom that swept much of the country in recent years.

Prices have gained less than 2 percent per year in the five years since 2001, when the auto industry entered a renewed slump.

Steve Izairi, 32, who re-financed his own house in suburban Dearborn and sold his restaurant to begin buying rental properties in Detroit two years, was concerned that houses he thought were bargains at $70,000 two years ago were now selling for just $35,000.

At least 16 Detroit houses up for sale on Sunday sold for $30,000 or less.

A boarded-up bungalow on the city’s west side brought $1,300. A four-bedroom house near the original Motown recording studio sold for $7,000.

“You can’t buy a used car for that,” said Izairi. “It’s a gamble, and you have to wonder how low it’s going to get.”

Detroit, where unemployment runs near 14 percent and a third of the population lives in poverty, leads the nation in new foreclosure filings, according to tracking service RealtyTrac.

With large swaths of the city now abandoned, banks are reclaiming and reselling Detroit homes from buyers who can no longer afford payments at seven times the national rate.

Can’t say that I disagree with Ace.

As soon as child number two makes it to college — three years — I’m out of here. Either back to Chicago or to someplace warm. Someplace that has an economy that isn’t as dismally depressing as it is here in Detroit. Basically, anywhere but here.

I didn’t plan another post about “peaceful” anti-war types so soon. It’s not hard to find moonbatiness on a daily basis — it can get tedious. There’s just too much material and my blog is not titled Old Smelly 60’s Rejects and their Retarded Spawn.

AP) Vandals upset over the Iraq war defaced U.S. Rep. Mike Rogers’ office overnight, a spokesman said Tuesday.

The unknown individuals splattered red paint on the Lansing building and put up a sign saying the Republican has “blood” on his hands. They also spray painted the sidewalk with the words “no more deaths,” glued shut the front door of the building and destroyed security cameras, said Andy Keiser, Rogers’ chief of staff.

Sheriff’s deputies were providing extra security at the Brighton home where Rogers lives with his wife and two children, Keiser said.

“The aggressive destruction of federal property and vandalism was a callous attempt to intimidate Congressman Rogers and his staff,” he said in a statement. “We all are entitled to our own opinion on the situation in Iraq, but we are not entitled to destruction of taxpayer property and intimidation of federal officials.”

The FBI, U.S. Capitol police and Lansing police were investigating.

Rogers has supported President Bush’s decision to pursue the war in Iraq four years ago but has opposed Bush’s recent plan to send extra troops to Baghdad.

Stupid moonbats. Read the last sentence above, they went after the wrong guy.

Rogers opposes the troop increase.

These idiots must not have gotten this weeks talking points/marching orders. All they know is Republican — evil, Bush — Hitler.

I was in Lansing yesterday and narrowly avoided hitting a herd of hippies that ran out into the street in some sort of addled daze. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried so hard to miss them. Hippies tend to be soft and mushy, the damage to my truck would have been minimal.

Update: There are now two, and possibly three, UWM students confirmed. See the link below. Frontpage Milwaukee also has links to their facebook sites and is naming them now that police say they have been cited. The UWM spokesman says he is not sure what the university will do – if anything

I get really tired of hearing lefties say that they support our troops but don’t support their mission. Ask any soldier, Marine, sailor or airman how they feel about that. It also emboldens the enemy — something that leftards can’t seem to wrap their mind about.

Reasonable dissent is one thing, continous bleating and blame throwing end up crossing many lines. Leftie war protestors always make a point of saying that they are patriotic — it drives them nuts if you question their patriotism.

Here we have lefties supporting our troops in Portland just the other day — by burning them in effigy along with the American flag.

Just in case that doesn’t get the point across and you need a little clarification as to their true feelings.

Fuck the troops?

Fuck them.

Those little weasels wouldn’t have to guts to stand up for their own freedom in a real world situation. They can only express themselves so disgustingly because of the heroic actions of those they disdain.

Can we question their patriotism now?

Hell yes. These people don’t care about anything but their own selfish concerns. I’m ashamed to share the same country with them. Try that crap anywhere else in the world and the very least of their worries would be dodging water cannons and tear gas. Here, they can just go on their merry way.

Only, because of the efforts and sacrifice of millions before them who put the needs of their families, neighbors, towns, cities and country ahead of their own can scum like this exist unaccosted in our society.