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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Thursday, October 9, 2008

That's right: a FREE hockey Wreck.

Now, I know nothing about hockey. I would not even know this cake was hockey-related if the word 'hockey' wasn't on there. So I asked my hubby John, and he was only too happy to explain the whole game for me. And you know what? It's actually kind of interesting! So for the benefit of you other non-sports types, here's a quick rundown:

See, apparently they play this sport on ice - but they have to make sure the ice is really thick, or else their cleats will scuff it all up. The players wear lots of padding and helmets, and carry little butterfly nets on sticks with which to hit the ball around. The object of the game is to score a triple Hail Mary - which is just another name for a running slam dunk - and consists of knocking three other players down while simultaneously dunking the ball through one of the red rings. Players known as running backs try to kick the ball, but the other team's catchers use their heads and butterfly nets to deflect the ball away from their side's field goal. Any running backs who are able to push the other team's running backs out of the big circle in the middle get what's called a free throw, in which they're allowed to chuck the ball at the head of their least favorite player. If they miss, their team only scores a half-down, but if the ball hits the other player, they score a hole-in-one.

There was also some stuff about yard lines, birdies, and triple-axles, but I kind of zoned out at that point. Still, I think I just may have to check out a hockey game some day; John tells me every time the pitcher serves a kill-shot, the mascot serves hot chocolate. How cool is that?!?

I think the best part about this cake is that it says "AHS Field Hockey" and "Great Season." While, that's a great sentiment for the field hockey team, this is an ice hockey rink. Field Hockey is played on a grass field and has an arc at either end of the field-- no ice or red circles.

So great!! I love your site! I just wish I had found it sooner. My baby shower cake was NEON pink and bright purple (my friend who ordered it just said "pink" thinking that they would do a nice baby pink since it was obviously a shower cake) and it read [quote]"Congratulations" Mommy-to-Be [end quote](yes, it had quotation marks!). Plus, the neon pink baby booties (slippers, not real booties!) were a hoot too! If I had only known....I would have taken a better picture of it!

It looks like it say AHS Field Hockey... which would make this even more of a wreck. At first I thought, "That's weird, why would it be called AHS Field? Hockey is played in a rink." Then it dawned on me - this cake may have been intended for a field hockey team. Yikes!

The best part about this, and probably why it's free... it's for a field hockey team, which as the name implies, is not played on ice at all, but on a... well, a field. The cake should have been green! (and the markings on the ground are all different, too, but... well, there's only so much you can expect from a free cake!

That says FIELD hockey, which is played, well, in a field. On grass. Apparently the decorator didn't get the memo that there is more than one sort of hockey and missed the context clue of "Field". Next up: bowling on a shuffle board deck.

I *think* this one is a cake for field hockey though... so no ice on that. I think the middle circle there says "AHS|FIELD" with the hockey part underneath. My daughter's on the high school field hockey team.. I've seen a lot of field hockey games.

I think all the stuff about ice may not be so applicable. It looks to me that the cake was supposed to celebrate a "great season" for "AHS Field Hockey" but the words were broken up even more strangely than normal. So rather than ice and triple Hail Marys, it probably involved grass and girls in long socks. (Of course, this would make the blue cake inexplicable, so...)

Wow. And I thought I almost had a grasp on hockey rules. The thing that cracks me up the most is the "no charge" post it note. I should hope they didn't charge for a field hocky field that's an ice hockey arena.

If my friend Cece was a cake decorator, and she was asked to decorate a sports cake, this is exactly what that cake would look like. She is sportsually impaired. I'm guessing so was this particular decorator.

Good thing they didn't have to make one for horse racing. Can you just imagine how long it would take them to stuff those horses in those little race cars?

Luckily the sarcasm of your misplaced sports descriptions was not lost on your readers. I'm glad they all explained the difference between field and ice hockey. Anyway, at least this cake was appropriately listed under "Misc Bakery". Good times.

As a Canadian, yes...home country of hockey - ICE hockey for those who require clarification (like the baker of this horror show)...I had to laugh and laugh and laugh...oh dear. Some sad folk out there.

Now, let's just wait a minute here! Maybe this AHS is in Kentucky and everyone knows about high quality Kentucky BLUEgrass. Or perhaps their school's pep band was known for playing bluegrass music during the games and they wanted to give them a tribute as well.

Ah, who am I kidding? They should have paid someone to take the cake out of store so no potential customers could see it! It's simply not enough for it to merely be free.

Ha ha ha! I didn't get it at first. You see, I am from Boise Idaho, and our football team plays on blue turf!! I just thought it was a really good field hockey team and they got to play on blue turf, too!

The Boise State reference is FUNNNNNNY. Too bad there are probably only 5 people who read Cakewrecks who know that Boise State has a blue field.

I love this cake. Even without the whole field hockey debacle, the piping/lettering is simply not good enough to pay for. Not even close. And then when you're taking in the wreckitude of the piping and lettering.... you get to soak in the "oh crap it's field hockey" and it just gets wrecky all over again. Classic.

Yikes! I never thought anyone would ever confuse field hockey (girls and sometimes boys beating the crap out of each other with wooden sticks to get a little round piece of rubber to the other end of the field) with ice hockey (boys and sometimes girls beating the crap out of each other with wooden sticks trying to get a little flat piece of rubber to the other end of the field)

I would have LOVED to hear the conversation that went on for that cake to be free. I imagine something like:

Decorator: Here's your cake!Field Hockey Mom: That's my cake?D: Yep, AHS Field HockeyFHM: Why is it blue?D (getting annoyed): For the ice, Ma'am FHM: Field Hockey is played on a field, not ice.D: You should have been more specific.FHM: It's called FIELD Hockey!D: Let me get my manager...

Oh! Thanks to the comments...now I get it! I thought you were being stupid because you thought it was funny but really you are very smart and funny. I didn't get that is was supposed to be Field Hockey, clear diff from the ice kind...and the footbal and basketball references...Der!

Um, people, we only need one person to explain that the cake should have grass and not ice. We all get it now because it's been said over and over and over and over (see?).If we're going to critique cakes, we should use some common sense to prevent critiques on our critiques about these cakes. Geez. :\

I went to an ice hockey game to humor my husband, and it was amazing! They ram up against the glass, which was really close to us, and one player even bled ALL over the ice. They all just sat there so I wondered how they were going to clean it up. My husband explained to me that they were waiting for the blood to freeze so they could scrape it off!

Cody - comments are monitored, so likely a lot of the people saying the same thing also commented around the same time and were all pending approval (meaning no one could see someone else said the same thing)

The thing I find funny is the "no charge" sticker. They couldn't provide a PROPERLY decorated cake even though they knew this one was a loss? That grocery is only a few miles away from me, a new store in a ritzy neighborhood. I'll have to check the bakery out more closely.

Awesome! I've been to Roche Brothers (pronounced Roach) any number of times, and can totally see why this happened. It's an upscale grocery store in the suburbs of Boston where the employees are mostly Brazilian. I don't think they play either kind of hockey in Brazil, so your description is probably about what the decorator imagined.Jen

I'm with Cody - doesn't anyone who comments read the other comments first? My favourite thing about this Wreck is that so many commenters were stupid enough to point out that field hockey and ice hockey are different, after it had been pointed out about eight million times already! Good job friends.

My love of hockey is limited to Ice Hockey for the NES, which I sometimes play on the Wii's Virtual Console. But that love is great. When I saw this cake, I started uncontrollably humming the music from the game.

I've got to wonder: do you have so many mean-spirited or spam comments that you have to moderate? I don't moderate comments on my blog, just captcha on initial entry and I very rarely have to remove a comment. It's nice to let readers have a dialogue even when I'm not there, and cuts down on everyone saying the same thing.

I wasn't aware of the hockey rules, either. That is way more interesting than I thought it was. I will still try to get a man to explain it to me though, so I can use the term "butterfly net" to make him mad.

I'm kinda liking that bakery, though. I mean, understanding what an unsalvageable disaster they'd wrought, and--before the customer even arrived to complain--surrendering in advance, without even a token fight? That's, well.... almost classy, y'know?

Ha, I would hope it was free, seeing as the theme of the cake and sports team the cake was intended for don't match...field hockey is played on grass, not ice...can we also point out the decorator's stellar spacing? thanks go there aren't any quotation marks.

Aviatrix: Not that anyone looks at my blog other than my mom so it's not my personal experience, but on the busier blogs, you're more likely to get random trolls saying awful things or ads for viagra or whatever.

While it was rather rude of the pedgehog to call the other posters stupid, I do see her point along with Cody's. Even if comments are posted in batches thereby resulting in the same comment being made multiple times, these same comments show up in each batch. PLEASE do your fellow posters (and Jen) a favor and read the previous comments before you add yours. Thanks!

1. You have the best blog ever, and I respect your right to review the comments in whatever way you desire. If people don't like it, then they have the right to NOT POST a comment and/or NOT READ the comments.

2. I found it very amusing that pedgehog's complaint about people saying the same thing that other people were saying was already said many times by other people. So, to pedgehog I quote back: "Good job friend."

Thanks for writing the most comprehensible description of hockey ever!

I'm living in Sweden, a country that has two seasons; football (ie. soccer - also called summer by the unknowing) and hockey (winter). In the old times all malefolk had to stay in during those season to "watch the game". Nowadays, in these modern and enlightened times, every emancipated woman joins them.

Just so you know, moderating comments is HARD. Really, it's not a lot of fun. We read the bad with the good which is sometimes truly disheartening. Occasionally, we even have to find family members to do it for us if we aren't gonna be prompt about it. But Jen made a commitment when she started this blog that there would be no profanity and minimal objectionable material so that, for the most part, the site would be kid safe.

So, yes. It stinks that we get repeated comments. We wish every commenter would be able to express their view without potentially hurting someone else. Or us, for that matter. But sadly it isn't so.

I only ask that you extend us some grace in our efforts to continue to have a great site that is safe and fun for everybody.

I hope the people who said that this post was educational re: the rules of hockey realize that Jen was being her usual funny and sarcastic self when describing the sport. She mashed together just about every sport since hockey is boring and causes her to zone out when her husband is explaining it (at least, that's what I imagine). Those are NOT the rules of hockey. They are the rules of hockey, rugby, football, golf, and who knows what else.

That being said, I love this blog and it brings much laughter to my life. Thank you!

LMAO @ your description of hockey. I'm not sure how many sports you managed to smash together there, but that was hee-larious! And I love how the bakery just gave them the cake for free once they realized what a huge mistake they'd made. Now that's customer service. At least the darn thing looks edible.

I'm sorry you receive disheartening and critical comments at times. I hope all the hearts YOU lift and the smiles you give so many people all over the world overshadows the few negative ones. Wreck on! :-)

Dearest Cody-Just in case you believe that the sole purpose of this blog is to critique cakes .... I wanted to point out the hundreds of comments added each week that showcase clever interpretations and witty prose. To focus on the technical merit of cake-decorating alone would be far less entertaining!!!

not sure if anyone caught this, but i'm fairly sure there was no charge because the Circle was-i'm guessing- probably supposed to be an actual *image* of the field (rink? i'm confused with all this ice/field hocky confusion).

I kid you not, It took me until you said the word "kick" for me to realize this wasn't a serious description. No, really. I was actually thinking to myself "why the ridiculously long description of hocky?" by the way, are there really nets on the hocky sticks?

Okay, my question is this...is it supposed to be ice hockey or field hockey? It looks sort of like ice because of the blue, but is sorta set up like field. I guess it is supposed to be field hockey in the school colors? Good grief...at least the bakery realized it was a wreck and refused to charge! LOL

Answer for Anonymous: A pitbull know what a hockey rink looks like.Those bakers sure didn'tF.Y.ITo all the whiners who are to many to comment on:Uh, I don't know about ya'll but here in N.Y.C we use this thing called the scoll. -------> Right there on the right, can't miss it!You see you can scroll and see.But it really doesn't matter because it's fun to comment.You remember fun don't you? That when you don't take things so seriously. Like for instance my sarcastic comment.Now look at the funny and pictures and smile. Smile, darn it, smile!There you go! :)

Morgan, I thought it must have been misspelled "ashfield," too, but Ashfield is too far away from Wellesley, where the cake was made. though there is an AshLAND nearby, which a confused baker could have screwed up (we all know stranger things have happened), I don't think that's the case. the date on the tag (nov 11th) matches up with the end of fieldhockey season, not ice hockey.

In Defence of this cake you have here 2 problems. ! the tag on the cake has a 31 day code and misc bakery tags have a 3 day code. and the cake decorations is what is called a "kitcake" which the customer orders. Decoorators dont just put this on themselves. So it would seem once again it is the customors fault for ordereding this cake and while not the best looking cake......the whole thing just doesnt add up. I deal daily with people who ask for the most whacked out things on a cake only to cry when they get what the asked for.

Most of my experience with hockey involved prancing around on a muddy field at the girls' private school I went to, and my main experience with the American take on hockey was watching episodes of Winnie the Pooh and the Simpsons in which they play it, and, more recently, watching Kevin Smith's movie "Dogma" and puzzling for a while over whether the redhaired ringleader of the demonic kids who go round beating people with hockey sticks was a boy or a girl. I'm still pretty certain that isn't what a hockey rink is supposed to look like.

Word verification: funcruns. Sounds like a cuss. Or perhaps some form of game involving hockey sticks and cake.

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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