My name is Adotekom Okodi-Iyah, & my Lips are the pen of a skillful writer…

June 24, 2013January 28, 2014

CHEATING

“Ike!!! What is this?!”

Ike raised his head and looked towards his fiancée…He gulped and tried to gather his thoughts…”Think man! Think of what to tell her fast!! Anything more than three seconds without a believable response will put you in the ‘you’re guilty zone’…” Ike thought to himself. He tried to buy himself some precious seconds, so he first laughed…a hollow one, hoping it sounded to Bisi’s ears like laughter that said “Baby come on…I’m innocent…”. Finally he let out the most convincing thought his brain had managed to cook up in six seconds. “Baby…don’t mind my friend Tosin jor, he came here two days ago with his chic…I left them here for a few hours. Obviously he forgot to clean up properly…silly guy!” Bisi had a blank expression on her face, so Ike continued “Don’t mind him, I’ll warn him…don’t know how he can be so careless!”…His heart was racing, hoping he sounded convincing.

If Bisi’s facial expression was anything to go by, Ike knew he hadn’t exactly won an Academy Award with his ‘lying performance’.

“Ike…Ike….you really think I’m a fool? What do you take me for? A three year old? You expect me to believe that this thrash was left here by your friend???? She gasped in disbelief…shaking her head at him in disgust before flinging the empty condom wrapper she’d been holding at him.

It floated in a zigzag motion…slowly…before landing on the bed beside Ike…who watched that ‘little’ piece of evidence that was causing such a huge problem for him right now…

There’s a time to just quit the lying, go on your knees and beg for forgiveness. The problem is some people don’t know when that point has been reached. Ike tried again…at another desperate attempt to convince her…”Baby…I swear! It was my friend that left it here…”

Really? Bisi said sarcastically…well…tell your ‘friend’ that I’m breaking up with you for his mistake…

“What!?” Ike said in disbelief!

“Yes! You heard me…it’s over! How long will you continue to take me for a fool?! All I’ve done is love you the way any woman should love her man…but all you continue to do is hurt me over and over again. This time…I’m done!” Bisi picked up her black LV bag and began walking towards the door. Ike tried to stop her…”baby..plea….but she cut him off… “Dont you dare touch me!!!! I’m through with sharing you with a thousand other women…you think I don’t know about Kate, Onyinye, Tola and your other groupies…?”

Bisi ignored his pleas…shoved him out of her way and left the room…He tried to follow her but she slammed the door shut in his face…

He heaved a deep sigh…rested his back against the door and hoped he hadn’t lost her…for good.

CHEATING

Hope you enjoyed that short story…was almost tempted to make it longer…but I resisted…*laughing*

So…I know most people (ladies) read it and were happily thinking about how all men are exactly like Ike in the story ———> Cheats!

Well, we’ll debate that another day…Today I want to face an issue that’s the cause of about ninety five percent of broken hearts…I’m sure most of you reading this are nodding in agreement. So, let me ask a question…WHAT EXACTLY IS CHEATING?

That might sound a dumb question to some people. But truth is, it’s probably one of the most intelligent questions anyone can ask. Fact is most people assume they know what cheating is, when they really don’t. Of course everyone has his/her own answer to that question. Bet you we have a million different views from a million different people if I ask that question.

Some people think cheating is when your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife catches you having wild, butt naked sex with someone else… That OBVIOUSLY is cheating. But is that all there is to it? For those who follow my write ups (I love my fans! Autographs later…hehehe). As I was saying, for those who follow my write ups, you know by now that I never assume what people feel or think. I love to do some research and know people’s opinion on stuff. So in my usual style, I did a survey some time ago asking different guys and ladies this simple question: WHAT IS CHEATING IN A RELATIONSHIP?

Here’s a summary of the different answers I got. Some may sound bizzare to you…though remember it’s someone’s opinion…Here goes:

Some people said cheating starts when the person you’re in a relationship with/married to starts confiding in another member of the opposite sex…other than you. According to some ladies…”If my man has a problem, why should he discuss with some other lady when my ears aren’t faulty?” Wasn’t just the ladies, some guys also felt that their women confiding or seeking comfort from another guy was way out of line. You know the saying though…”A shoulder to cry on becomes a **** to ride on”. And this trend happens so often:

Girl/Guy has a problem —–> Confides in someone else —-> They start getting close —-> They get extra close —-> An ‘unplanned’ attraction —-> WHAM!!! The ‘unexpected’ but desired happens

Some people feel cheating begins the VERY MOMENT you begin to have feelings for someone else. The moment you can’t stop thinking about how beautiful that other lady is…or what it’d feel like to date that cute guy in your office. You’re already cheating if there’s someone you can’t stop thinking about, even when you’re together with the person you’re in a relationship with.

Believe it or not, some people I spoke to said KISSING IS NOT CHEATING. I almost fainted when I heard this…but it’s their opinion you know? They believe you can kiss, caress, touch and fondle someone else as long as you don’t actually have sex with that person. So for such people, anything between talking to someone and foreplay is very much legal….Hmmmm *sipping my coffee*

There were some guys and ladies who feel flirting is already a form of cheating. Calm down if you don’t agree, it’s their opinion…you have yours. Such people feel flirting opens up the flood gates for so many other unacceptable things to happen. Like one of my Yoruba friends is fond of saying (in his language): “If you don’t want to eat the food, then there’s no need to smell the aroma of the food”. Some people feel that’s what flirting does. It makes you smell the ‘food’, and then makes you tempted to taste ‘it’ even when you’re not hungry.

I could go on and on you know? Different strokes for different folks on what cheating is all about.

Before I sign out…let me quickly say what my own opinion on cheating is. I know you’re eager to hear what I have to say (don’t hate my intelligence…*laughing*).

To me, cheating is this: Before you do anything, ask yourself: HOW WOULD I FEEL IF THE PERSON I’M IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH DOES EXACTLY THE SAME THING? Here’s what I mean: When you find yourself confiding things you should be telling your man/woman with someone else, would you be happy if they did the same? When you’re flirting with that really sexy chic or that handsome bloke…also ask yourself how you’d feel if the person you’re dating did the same.

The fact is…we all know when we’re doing something wrong (whether we admit it’s cheating or not). There’s always this itsy bitsy uncomfortable feeling you get inside you when you’re doing something you know wouldn’t make your lover happy if they found out. When you’re having that feeling, no matter how ‘harmless’ what you’re doing is, you’re already cheating.

So, all I’ll say is: DON’T DO ANYTHING YOU WON’T LIKE THE PERSON YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO DO AS WELL. If you do, you’re cheating.

Adotekom!!! Why “Tosin” in the first place??? #throwsknife# Nice piece bro. I fink we cheat wenever we don’t get wat we want from our partners. Not somefin to be proud of tho. A REAL MAN DOESN’T CHEAT. NoT sure tat applies to our women. #sipscoffee#