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I’ve Left the Island

I hate to break it to ya, but I can no longer tell you about misfit toys on Sundays. The area of the island I was attending these past few months was a rather unfriendly area and after nobody ever gave me something to do (a.k.a. a calling), I decided it was time to bail. I went to a new singles ward on Sunday and found myself in a world of normal toys.

I can’t say that I really fit in with ordinary society, but in comparison to the last ward, this new ward was like walking into Cheers. Okay, well, not quite. Everybody didn’t know my name… so they asked me. Lots of people, too. And before I knew it, I was in a little hiking group and have dates lined up for the rest of the year. (Oh right, I may have fibbed a little about that last part, but whatever… I think I’m funny.)

The new ward needs a name. Any suggestions? No, not really? I have to come up with it all on my own? Fine, we’ll go with The Mighty Functioning Singles Ward (MFSW—and we’re not talking about Multi-Function Steering Wheels).

So I pulled into the parking lot of the MFSW and just as I got out of my car, I saw a friend from work. Turns out, he’s a member of the MFSW and gave me his permission to attend. We wander into the chapel where I stand at the back while he talks to someone and I look around at the congregation… there they are: the P Brothers. They’re my neighbors and the older brother called me on Saturday to tell me about the MFSW and tell me to come, too. They saved me a seat so I took it just as the meeting began.

The chapel was packed. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a meeting with a packed chapel. It was amazing singing with such a large congregation—I didn’t feel like I was singing a solo anymore. Hooray! (Nobody really wants Larrie singing solos… just in the choir is fine, thanks.)

Shortly after the meeting began, a girl came in and asked if she could squeeze in next to me so the P Brothers moved over a bit and we made room. Turns out, she went to my old old ward (Hillside) for ONE Sunday, but being that I was the mighty prez, I remembered her and who her roommate was, her full name, her birthday, her SSN, etc. So now she’s in the MFSW with me and I don’t have to assign her visiting teachers.

After the first meeting ended, the P Brothers went off to Sunday School while I was talking to some other women who came and introduced themselves to me. Several of us then wandered over to a smaller room for the “new member” meeting. No, this is not a meeting for people who are new to the LDS faith or investigating. I don’t know that this ward sees many of those. This is a meeting to make sure that you are “appropriate” for the ward (apparently, they don’t want married people in the ward because we don’t actually allow polygamy no matter how much a guy thinks it should come back). In this meeting, I added to my list of people who asked me my name and more (things like my status, sign, and SSN).

By the time I made it to the last meeting (Relief Society), I had a handful of new friends to choose to sit by. It was a tough choice and I could see in the expressions of the women that I didn’t sit by that they were rather crestfallen that I didn’t choose them. Keep your hopes up, new friends… there’s always next week.

So after the very first week at MFSW, the final tally of new pals (or at least people that sincerely introduced themselves to me) is 14. It’s a good start. And if I make it to FHE tonight, maybe I can get all those dates lined up.

To clarify, brother Maxwell, it was a Doctrine and Covenants class. (not marriage-prep!) That would have made things a little too convenient. And Larrie, I am the queen of optimism. That’s why I wake up each day thinking my boys will treat me like that queen, even though they never do…

@Brian – I like the Stepford Ward… that’s a good one. Oh and which “internet” did you meet on? Just curious.
@Linds – I miss being around your optimism… even when Drew was jumping on my mom’s car with a fake beard, trying to get you with a squirt gun, you were still optimistic, right?

@Montague – Ah, my apologies, Sister Montague. However, isn’t the whole Doctrine and Covenants just a climactic leadup to the new and evelasting covenant of marriage? Okay, that’s a stretch. But good grief, how many people were in that class? If I recall, it was you two, plus someone who never came. Match made in heaven…

@Larrie – Rachel and I met on ldsmingle.com. Interestingly, out of a possible 100% match, we were like 53%, which was super low. Perhaps we succeeded only because of the contrarians in both of us…

This 3-way chat thing is kinda fun. Larrie and Max, your memories are WAY too clear. You better start having kids… except a marriage really should come 1st Lar. (hence, my choice for your ward’s new name) Then we’ll see what happens to that part of your brain.

P.S. Where the heck is Drew, and why isn’t he in the facebook world so we can at least know he is alive? Too cool?