I have lost my job.

It's a major disaster. I have had to tell my childminder that until I get a new one (and I'm trying really hard, in tough circumstances) I cannot pay for childcare. She is understandably pissed off. But. I didn't want this to happen. It was sudden. We could lose our home, she's losing her pin money for kids' activities. Our childminder is not registered, not OFSTED checked and cash in hand, a good family friend, which is how this arrangement came about, and I'm SORRY it's gone wrong with my work, but she's the least of my problems at the moment.

Aibu to have her low down my priority list for feeling awful about how losing my job has effected everyone?

I know how she uses the money as, as I say, we are long term family friends. She's a great child minder. And a great mum. Sadly, I am now suddenly in a position whereby keeping a roof over our heads has to take priority somehow.

I am so sorry you have lost your job.Don't worry about your CM, you have enough worries of your own .I don't know where you live, but I have gone back to work after a 5 yr break and it was easy to find work.TRy writing on spectoemployers rather than just applying for jobs.Most jobs are never even advertised.

If you stop paying her, will she stop offering you childcare? Even if she is not registered and she is your friend, this is the deal that you (as 2 adults) decided upon. Therefore, if you don't pay, she doesn't have to provide childcare.

Will you find it difficult to get another job if you don't have childcare whilst you look?

Are you running the risk of getting a job but then she no longer wishes to have her pin money and doesn't want to do it anymore?

all those things plus not declaring income for tax/ni, no assessment as to suitability of her home , ratios etc. Anyone looking after children to whom they are not directly related in their own home should be registered. In fact op could be eligible for tax credits if she used registered childcare.

If you can't pay for the foreseeable then you can't expect her to look after your dc though or not find an alternative way of making up the income. This is likely to end the friendship so you may like it start looking for alternatives for when you get a job or interview.

Do you mean you won't be paying her for care she has already done? If so that's rather unfair. If however you are paid up to date then I can see why you have had to say you can't continue the arrangement with no job of your own. You need to pay her anything she is owed though.

I hope you find a new job soon and that you find legal, official childcare. As well as her not being vetted, not being ofsted registered and inspected, no crb checks being done on her household, AND her not having the proper insurances (house, car and public liability), it is also a bad move to mix friends and business.

I agree with the poster who recommended contacting companies yourself rather than applying for jobs advertised. It shows initiative and I agree most jobs don't even get advertised.