BMTV

All Hail: Carole: Keeper of Condoms

August 3, 2007

So last night we were treated to the first appearance of Carole: Keeper of Condoms. The more I watch BB this year the more I’m certain that Carole is evil. She manipulated the whole Chiggy saga and is now turning all the housemates against Amy. This condom malarkey is just so transparently manipulative.

The self-styled mother of the house has used her position to keep all her fingers in as many pies as possible. If she was really concerned about sexual health, she’d respect their privacy and perhaps put the box in the bathroom or just give everyone a certain number of them and keep her beak-like nose out of it.

She has stamped her authority and control over everything by ensuring that the boys must ask her for them – simultaneously giving her insider info about who’s doing what and when, and the right to interfere in their relationships. It also ensures she gets status within the house as well as their eternal gratitude: ‘Thank you, mummy Carole, for the shag.’ Ewwww! It’s all very Oedipal if you ask me.

Almost every female in the house has come under the Carole Attack so far, except the non-threatening, non-sexualised twins, who fly under her radar because they pose no threat (yet). Today, I saw her lurking behind a door, listening to Liam and Amy chatting by the sink.