Thursday, January 15, 2009

Takin it to a Whole Nother Level...

In a social setting there are all kinds of different people. You have the quiet people, the social butterflies, the socially awkward, the confident, and then you have the ones who are just annoying. Sometimes you can't place your finger on why someone is annoying. Then sometimes you have that moment of clarity when you figure out why you can't stand to have a conversation with someone. Now, I am telling you this for a reason. I recently had this moment of clarity.

There is this woman who has a daughter in the same class as my daughter. While she is nice enough, she is a little socially awkward, which I am fine with, but then there was just something else about her that just irritated me about her and I couldn't figure out why. I was wracking my brain and replaying the scenes of my conversations with her for the last week and a half trying to figure out why I didn't like her. I have this overwhelming compulsion to try to like everyone. It really bothers me when I can't figure out why I don't like someone. Then lastnight after about an hour of thinking on the subject, I had my moment of clarity. She is an interrupter, one upper, close talker. She is the pinnacle of the annoying conversationists.

The scene: Standing outside my daughters classroom waiting for school to dismiss and talking to another mother from the class.

The conversation we were having was just general mommy stuff. I was saying something about not getting much sleep because KiKi was not sleeping through the night very well and is ending up in my bed by 4 am every night. From behind me I hear: "Oh you think that's bad..." (Interuption), she then cuts between the lady I am talking to and myself gets into my bubble of personal space (close talking) and then continues "well my daughter didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and cried constantly until she was two years old" (one upper).

Holy hand granades lady! I wasn't even talking to you. You were behind me, not even a participant in the conversation. It wasn't like I was talking loudly, broadcasting my bitches and moans to all the parents of the student body. I was just having a chat with another mom. Why are you insistant upon entering the conversation? I am not a snooty person. I am more than willing to let you join in the conversation, but approaching from the front of where we are standing and at least saying "Hi" would be a nice start. Evesdropping and then inserting your opionion is not really a thing that I am fond of. It is rude.

Now I just need to figure out how to deal with this woman for the rest of the year. I refuse to be mean, it just isn't in my nature when dealing with other parents. I guess I can just try to bite my tounge and deal with it, but it is going to be difficult.

"We got a bunch of snow last night"....."We got the most snow in the state here!"

Hubby used to have a twinge of one-upper-ness til I snapped that out of him. Still kicks in once in awhile, he just needs a good smack to remind him. (Actually I'll just call him his mother's name when he does that...seems to do the trick).

I work with several of those kind of people, that's why I seldom talk about my "stuff," because you can't win with them. It is better to let them think you are just real quiet than to be mean and tell them to kiss off!xoxo

YOU think YOU have a problem with one -uppers! Sheesh, I am constantly surrounded by them, everywhere, in my cupboards, under the sink - everywhere I tell you.

I knew a woman in my craft group who was a very kind person but soooooooooooo boring. I couldn't bear to be near her, but even if I tried to walk away she would follow me. Boring people are the ones I fear most, especially nice ones that you feel really bad ignoring.

Don't you just love trumpeteers? Always have the horn at the ready and blow loudly!I have a friend that I have to screen calls on to make sure I want to waste the effort of going through one of those conversations with her.

Gah! The One-upper!! My mom is a one-upper and it makes me crazy as hell, but clearly, I'm stuck!

Also, sometimes, my husband tries to do it, too, but I totally nip that in the bud as soon as he starts up by falling silent. I guess (maybe!) we can fix the ones we love as long as the same blood doesn't run through them!

Gosh, I'd be so happy just to be included in a kids' conversation at my daughter's school....I swear I'd just stand there and knod my head in agreement and most certainly wouldn't interrupt, get close to you or one-up you!

YOu should say something like...Ya, that lack of sleep is a bitch. My lawyers used it as my defense for tasering that mother in McDonald's last year. She cut in front of me in line. I think I was PMSing too. Those fries smell awfully good. Did you read about that? Thankfully, I got off with just probation and the school was pretty cool in letting me still be a voluteer.

p.s. found you through rachael who sent you to my blog, then read your comment and followed you here. Very stalkerish, I know. But I swear, I'm friendly. Like a puppy

next time? make sure you one up her.. but make it really outrageous.. lik, 'oh yeah?? well my daughter woke up every 30 minutes for the first 3 years of her life and wehn she did so? she'd do kung fu kicks in the air above our bed for t least an hour before going back to sleep.. every. time.'

Wow, that is weird.So I am reading all your comments and people really don't like one uppers and I have realized something about myself. I am totally a one upper and I don't mean to be. I mean it wasn't my choice to have 3 babies at once. But do only use this when absolutely necessary, like with your lady. I would have played my triplet card and she would have been done.