Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products.
Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants.
Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyokes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it’s done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ‘cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatles… Were just a band.
Led Zepplin… Just a band.
The Beach Boys… Just a band.
The Sex Pistols… Just a band.
The Clash… Just a band.
Crass… Just a band.
Minor Threat… Just a band.
The Cure… Just a band.
The Smiths… Just a band.
Nirvana… Just a band.
The Pixies… Just a band.
Oasis… Just a band.
Radiohead… Just a band.
Bloc Party… Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys… Just a band.
The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.

Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise… kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard There are times when I want to give multiple Great Answer votes, and this is one of them. I was just thinking about this question today and was trying to remember back to my Sunday school years to recall some of the commandments.

And what the hell does coveting even mean? In today’s world, the majority of products are mass-produced, so “coveting” is basically the same as wanting a model that a brand makes.

So I’d say about 5.5/10 is pretty good for a document thousands of years old.

6. (You shall not murder) This commandment is worthless without defining what we mean by “murder.” What types of killing does the Bible consider murder? Well, not killing slaves, which is punishable by a fine; if you beat your slave and then he or she dies two days later you don’t even get punished at all. God routinely commands you to kill “sinful” people, such as relatives who try to convert you to other religions, adulterers, astrologers, and enemy fighters and civilians. The Bible is unique in that it is the only religious text to actually command genocide. So I don’t think this is all that useful of a commandment considering its extremely narrow range of what constitutes “murder.”

7. (You shall not commit adultery). This commandment is meaningless. Adultery is obviously wrong; but not in and of itself. Adultery is wrong because it is a breach of trust between you and your partner (or partners). The problem with this commandment is that the Bible sees marriage as a property arrangement (basically, a husband purchases his wife from her father in exchange for a brideprice). “Adultery” is defined as sleeping with another man’s property. It’s not “adultery,” according to the Bible, if a married man has sex with a prostitute or a war captive.

8. (You shall not steal). This one’s good, but also pretty vague without defining what constitutes property and therefore pretty unhelpful in today’s world of digital downloads and complex financial instruments.

10. This one says not to covet your neighbors property, and then goes on to give examples, such as his livestock, his slaves, or his wife. I think it’s important to be content with what you have, but first of all, this isn’t all that urgent in the grand scheme of things, and secondly, what an atrociously immoral understanding of what constitutes property.

By the way, the penalty for disobeying any commandments is death. According to the Ten Commandments you’re supposed to kill people who gather firewood on the Sabbath or who don’t listen to their physically abusive parents.

So no, the Ten commandments are not remotely relevant today and it is unbelievable to me that so many people—religious and nonreligious—think they are somehow wise or otherwise important to morality. They’re not even better than other ancient Mesopotamisn legal systems that predate them, such as the Code of Hammurabi.

Some great answers so far, I’d put down my own take but what george carlin says is more amusing:

“Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?
You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here’s what happened:

About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I’ll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it’s a decade, it’s a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It’s a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that’s a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

Let’s start with the first three:

* I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME
* THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN
* THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

Right off the bat the first three are pure bullshit. Sabbath day? Lord’s name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we’re down to 7. Next:

* HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn’t be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent’s performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don’t, period. You’re down to six.

Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we’re going to jump around the list a little bit.

* THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
* THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don’t really need two you combine them and call the commandment “thou shalt not be dishonest”. And suddenly you’re down to 5.

And as long as we’re combining I have two others that belong together:

Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don’t think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else’s wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he’s waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we’re gonna keep this one and call it “thou shalt not be unfaithful”. And suddenly we’re down to four.

But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing “thou shalt always be honest and faithful” and we’re down to 3.

* THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR“S GOODS

This one is just plain fuckin’ stupid. Coveting your neighbor’s goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays “o come o ye faithful”, and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you’re down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven’t talked about yet:

* THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who’s doin the killin’ and who’s gettin’ killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

* Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.

&

* Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.

Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin’ pocket. I wouldn’t mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

They are as relevant as the day God gave them. No-one expects you to be able to keep them perfectly, but they are like a standard to measure yourself by. I actually prefer the new testament version which summarises them in two:

On the other hand, I get very tired of people blaming God for murder and death. Blame religion, yes, but God is not behind most of it. It is like saying that one murderer is an atheist, so all atheists are murderers. No reasonable person would think that was a rational point of view.

@Harold, I’m a bit confused as to what you mean, since you presumably agree that God gave laws ordering genocide (Deuteronomy 13, 20, the entirely of Joshua). (“You must annihilate them; you must let nothing that breathes remain alive”)

@Harold The day god gave them, Moses broke them in anger. Oh course that is out of some context but it is relevant. Read the bible, god actively kills a hell of a lot of people, if you’ll pardon the pun. So yeah, maybe there is reason people would think that way. An atheist isn’t a follower, rather they are each very individual. While members of a Christian faith are followers. You are judged by the groups you belong to, especially if they preach a moral code. Atheists aren’t members of a faith, and follow their own code. So I fail to see your reasoning and your rational for using that example. Please use like terms, apples are apples for instance. A member of a club belongs to that club. People who aren’t in a club, are not instantly in the non-membership club together. So remember to represent the club you are in, because you speak for them.

To further answer your @wolfram question. In Judaism the ten commands are the beginning of many many rules set down by Moses. In Christianity, Jesus distills the ten into two. So the relevance is, rather weak, in my opinion. Certainly not relevant enough to throw stones at people.

@RareDenver, I love this one the most. “Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.” That one is just brilliant. Great song too.

In “History of the World, Part I,” Moses (played by Mel Brooks) brings down three tablets from God and starts to introduce to his people the The 15 Commandments. But he drops one of the tablets, says “Oy,” and revises the number to 10. I would have loved to hear what the missing 5 were, but I still think the 10 are pretty darned good.

@Qingu – I was referring to the things in post bible times that God is blamed for, for example the crusades, the Spanish inquisition, etc. These were done in the name of religion, no doubt, but God was not behind them. If you look at the examples in Scripture where God ordered mass destruction, it was generally because these groups of people were doing abominable things such as human sacrifice. God ordered the destruction of the guilty to preserve the innocent. I am sure you wouldn’t have a problem with, for example, destroying Hitler and the SS in order to preserve the lives of innocent Jews.

@everephebe – You seem to be implying that Christians are all robots who follow the same code, while atheists are individual free thinkers. Let me assure you, you are wrong on that point. Yes, there are many so-called Christians who are sheep, and just follow a set of dogmas or a particular guru. However, some of us are free thinkers, who just happen to be followers of Jesus, and accept His teachings. There is room for free thought and individuality in following His teachings. Just as some Christians are sheep, and some are individuals, the same applies to atheists, and all other schools of thought. My point stands- you cannot blame God because of the stupidity of some who CLAIM to follow Him. I am not one with idiots who blow up abortion clinics, or orchestrate hate campaigns against gays, for example.

@Harold you seem to be reading into my answer. I was actually trying to point out that atheists are a separate category, each one. Whereas a member of a church, or faith, however individual they may be like it or not is a part of an organization. Let me put this into terms you might understand more readily, each atheist has their own “beliefs” as if they were a separate religion from every other atheist. You don’t get an atheist membership card that is. Whereas a Catholic is a Catholic, even if she has some differing thoughts from the Pope.

My point is atheists are individual free thinkers, like most people, but they aren’t UNITED into a true group. Each one is their own category, like each branch of Christianity. I said nothing about robots, or sheep. So your assurances are very much misplaced. You say, “However, some of us are free thinkers, who just happen to be followers of Jesus, and accept His teachings.” That, just happening, links you into a group of Christians. And yes, if there are other Christians that spoil it for you, & then Jesus looks bad along with you. People don’t claim to be an atheist, they are or they aren’t. Atheism isn’t a school of thought. I don’t blame god for what people do, but people who have read the bible can easily see that this god guy does a bunch of smiting, and acts like an immature greco-roman god for the majority of the bible. You point doesn’t stand, it has little to nothing to do with the question, and you’ve also just rephrased it. As far as what is causal, the Creator, created all right? Why not blame the creator for the Problem of Evil? Or is it all on Adam in your book? I mean the biblical god did create that darn apple and the snake, Eve and of course Adam.

Also I believe homosexuals is a more appropriate term, rather then gays. It’s like saying blacks instead of Africans or African-Americans. Let’s open this back up to the commandment discussion and perhaps you and I can discuss the other points in another question. I am open to hearing your response, or responding to a question you would write.

Let’s stay on topic before the question is forgotten. How about is the ten commandments relevant to non-Christians?

Considering that half of them is basically pure religious propaganda, and the rest just common sense, yet set as absolutes, no, they are not relevant in today’s relative reality, where matters are complex and must be evaluated on a case by case basis.

”God ordered the destruction of the guilty to preserve the innocent.”
The problem with that claim is that “God” pursued a policy of collateral damage. When he/she/it/they ordered the destruction of a city, it meant killing everything in it. Everything. That means, slaughtering men, women, children, born and unborn babies and even animals.

Sorry for the delayed response but there are some good football games going on right now (especially the Falcons). Ok, here’s my response—an updated version of the ancient code of conduct. It is derived from Dawkins’, The God Delusion:

1. Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you
2. In all things, strive to cause no harm
3. Treat your fellow human beings, your fellow living things, and the world in general with love, honesty, faithfulness and respect.
4. Do not overlook evil or shrink from administering justice, but always be ready to forgive wrongdoing freely admitted and honestly regretted.
5. Live life with a sense of joy and wonder
6. Always seek to be learning something new
7. Test all things; always check your ideas against the facts, and be ready to discard even a cherished belief if it does not conform to them.
8. Never seek to censor or cut yourself off from dissent; always respect the right of others to disagree with you.
9. Form independent opinions on the basis of your own reason and experience; do not allow yourself to be led blindly by others.
10. Question everything

@Harold, actually, God gave us a standing order to commit ethnic cleansing against any cities in the holy land who revert to untrue religions:

If you hear it said about one of the towns that the Lord your God is giving you to live in, that scoundrels from among you have gone out and led the inhabitants of the town astray, saying, ‘Let us go and worship other gods’, whom you have not known, then you shall inquire and make a thorough investigation. If the charge is established that such an abhorrent thing has been done among you, you shall put the inhabitants of that town to the sword, utterly destroying it and everything in it—even putting its livestock to the sword. All of its spoil you shall gather into its public square; then burn the town and all its spoil with fire, as a whole burnt-offering to the Lord your God. It shall remain a perpetual ruin, never to be rebuilt. (Deuteronomy 13:12)

Surely you can see where the Crusaders got inspiration. Are you suggesting that they were wrong for following God’s law?

And to answer your question, I would have no problem whatsoever destroying Hitler and the SS. I would, however, have a huge problem with killing every civilian man, woman, and child in Germany. Or every Canaanite civilian man, woman and child that Yahweh ordered the Israelites to kill without mercy, or every Muslim unbeliever woman and child living in Jerusalem today, as Deuteronomy 13:12 orders us to kill. Would you have a problem with such killings?

Yes, I’m familiar with Dawkins’ work. The only thing I might change is number seven. That might tend to quash independent-minded dreams. After all, if you can imagine it…then, it’s on its way to being real.

Football and philosophy…strange bedfellows! Well, unless one is considering secret maneuvers and butt-whacking.

@Harold, so if a culture practices child sacrifice, you think it is morally acceptable to kill every man, woman and child in that culture? The Christian conquistadors who wiped out populations of child-sacrificing Aztec would certainly agree with you.

Also, I’m confused what you mean by bringing up Exodus 20. Are you saying that Deuteronomy 13 is not God’s commandment? How did such a horrible lie get in the Bible, then?

Also, except for the lack of recent practical implementation (which I attribute to the loss of worldly power in the last centuries due to secularism), what exactly is the difference between the islamic extremists who fly planes into towers, and who think it is okay to kill thousands of quasi innocent people, including members of their own religion, because they think that is what their god wants them to do, and christians, who think acts of genocide against innocent men, women and children (and animals) is okay when they think that their god wants that to happen?
Do people ever stop and think about that?
Obviously not, because then they would realise that christianity and islam have more in common than they would like to admit.

One more thing:
Between the 8th and 11th century BCE, the middle east and islam were the world’s centre of scientific development (our numbers are arabic, algebra is arabic, two thirds of the stars in the sky have arabic names).
You know what happened at the end of that period? The religious fundamentalists took over with their thinking that science is the work of the devil. Which brings me to the next similarity between christianity and islam: Today you have prominent politicians saying that evolution is a myth, that the earth is only 6000 years old, and ridiculing science in general and calling science a waste of tax-payer money.
Like the middle east, the usa nears the end of its period of scientific prominence, eventually to slide back into the dark ages.
Because of their predominant religion.

@Qingu – without meaning to play semantics, Exodus 20 is God’s law. The passage you quoted in Deuteronomy was a specific instruction for a specific time, not His law. There is a huge difference. I will admit that crusaders etc may have misinterpreted such passages to give them licence, but God’s law says “Thou shalt not kill”. To say you are following it and kill is wrong, unless you have a divine command otherwise. I know of no such commands in the last 3000 years.

It obviously doesn’t outlaw all “killing.” I mean, the punishment for breaking the Ten Commandments was death.

Also, why do you think Deut. 13 was a specific institution for a specific time? Where in the Bible does it say that? And are you saying it would be morally wrong to follow the commandments that Yahweh supposedly gave us? The commandments Jesus said to follow so you would be called “greatest” in heaven (Matthew 5:17), and which Paul said were “holy, just, and good” (Romans 7:12)?

I can understand that as Christians you don’t have to follow such commandments, but that’s very different from saying it would be wrong to follow them.

There is nothing wrong with the Ten Commandments even though I am not religious. Judging by the large amounts of adultery, stealing and murders it seems they are not relevant in today’s society. If people followed these basic rules the world would be a much better place.

Here’s a modern version of the ten commandments in a form that could be useful to both atheists and believers:

1. Do not be greedy. Do not worship any material goods more than the ethical principles that work for the good of all. Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion. If you are a believer, worship God as the motivating force behind all ethical actions.

2. Everyone should maintain vigilance and reject any cult of personality. If you are a believer, do not make idols or images in the form of God. An idol can be anything or anyone you worship by giving it more importance than God.

3. Everyone should respect our environment and all life on our planet. If you are a believer, keep in mind that to respect God is to respect nature. Do not treat God’s name lightly or with disrespect.

4. Dedicate or set aside a regular day each week for rest to slow down, ponder, contemplate and absorb wisdom to create a life of significance. If you are a believer, worship the Lord on your day of rest.

5. Give honor to your loving father and loving mother by treating them with respect.

6. All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person. No one shall be held in slavery or servitude. No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment. Do not deliberately murder a fellow human being.

7. Do not have sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse or partner, unless you have agreed to live in an open relationship.

8. Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others. No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property. Do not steal or take anything that doesn’t belong to you, unless you have been given permission to do so.

9. Be honest. Do not tell a lie unless you need to avoid offense or you are in emergency situations to protect yourself or others. Do not bring a false accusation against another person.

10. Do not desire anything or anyone that does not belong to you. Comparing yourself to others and longing to have what they have leads to jealousy, envy and other sins. If you are a believer, be content by focusing on the blessings God has given you and not what he has not given you.