Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A new beginning?

Well, a brief return. After 5-6 years of working together, my company is splitting up. The shocking revelation came in on last Monday where two of us (not me) declared that they wanted to leave the company and seek new challenges.It seemed a bit surreal, especially because we had - after a relatively long period of stress, bad morale, and business frustrations - finally begun to turn the tide in our favour. At least, this was my impression. Apparently not that of those two.

Times have been hard....almost 6 months of no substantial income has taken its toll. Also, we have had several cooperation problems, although many have been settled and people seemed willing to swallow some pride in the anticipation of future succes.

The worst thing, from my perspective, is the fact that our recent "sell more" campaign never got finished - that would have given all of us a clear indication of the company potential. The next worse thing is to have to disappoint a lot of people that we have started or contemplated projects with. This was my most recent field of work and I was really making headway and getting into the task of formulating and structuring public projects as a supplement to our main product development.

It really annoys my to leave these things hanging in the closet - some of them have fair potential, although that is always hard to judge in this IT/3D area.

The fact that two months ago we all agreed to transform into an actual company with legal bindings and all does not make the situation easier. Being assigned as CEO of a holding company means that I now have no right to social compensation - I have to sell my share to another before I have so little assets that I may regain my unemployment benefits. This was a really smart move by the renegades. To shake hands and establish debts and company structures 2 months prior to sudden departure. I guess some people didn't really analyze their options or ambitions sufficiently :P

I'm risking that they read this, although we have an agreement to stay friends. But then again I have a right to be pissed and express it. Besides, I'm not as annoyed as it may sound. Part of me is maybe relieved since it certainly has been a rough ride at times. Last year I had the same thoughts on the project but deliberately suppressed the urge to quit. I guess they just couldn't do that anymore, which is basically ok. Can't argue with feelings. The timing just sucks like a Nilfisk.

So, the next challenge is to find a real job, I guess. Not something I've been used to - but then again the past years of experience should amount to something. I've learned a helluva lot about business logic, strategy, design work, and creative projects. Not to mention the problems that come with all of those, especially when trying to communicate goals and procedures between peers.I guess I am really quite confident after these experiences. I used to think that these things were infinitely complex but being in the midst of work life gives you the sudden realization that everyone is really as perplexed and uncertain as you are yourself. That's quite comforting. At Uni everything was deliberately made complex in order to impress the people in charge. Outside those walls people like it better if you keep it simple, at least on the basic level of business that we have been exposed to - I'm only just getting used to that. It's a useful beacon in my sometimes way too academic way of perceiving my surroundings.

I have at the very least acquired quite a large network of contacts that I should try to exploit in order to get ahead. We shall see. You have a job for me?