Sunday, September 11, 2011

A Normal life started:

After finishing my engineering I didn’t had job for one year. I was good in studies and scored quite well in my Academics, still I did not get job in first year of struggle. Then I got a job in a small company with little salary which was quite sufficient for me to survive in this city.

First year was good and hardworking for me we had office parties once in every three months and we use to drink, I never drank before that. Then I got an increment and I was able to send some money to home and the office parties started happening every month because company was growing.

Third year my salary got incremented again and I had enough money to send home, my expenses and some more money to drink everyday. I was best at my job and made many new friends and literally I forgot all my old (school/college) friends.

The Beginning:

One day I meet this guy and we became very good friends in a very short while. One day he gave me some leaves rapped in a paper saying try this and you will see the new face of the life. And he told me how to fill that in cigarette stick and fag.

It was Friday night and I reached home drained, I took bath and decided try the new thing. I sat on the floor opened the paper emptied some cigarette sticks and started filling them.

Twist One:

Suddenly I had a feeling that somebody is standing behind me, I turned back and saw my jean pent hanging on the rope. I gave a smile and started again filling the sticks. After I filled the first stick, I lighted it and started preparing next.

After some time I realized “There is somebody in my room”, I turned back and saw the entire room was empty (no living thing). Then I saw the chair at the other end of the room and a thought run through my mind “Definitely that somebody is hiding behind the chair”. I slowly stepped towards the chair, keeping my foot step very smooth so no sound should come. I reached the chair in five minutes (hardly 5 meters away from where I was making my new look of life – the sticks) and peeped behind the chair, there was a pair of shoe behind it, and another thought went through my mind “Definitely it is hiding under the shoe”. I slowly and in a scared manner picked the shoe and there was nothing there. Then I thought it might be under another shoe. Then I tried to pick up the second shoe and another random thought ran through my mind “How it is possible for a person to hide under a shoe, I am looking for a person not a pin”. I smiled at myself and felt good about this stick which I just finished.

I sat at that place for a while and thought “Somebody is searching me” and I hided my self (took shelter) behind the chair. I stayed there for an hour, peeping through the sides of chair is there anybody looking for me. Then I realized “It was me who is searching, why should I hide” and I could not stop my laughter there after.

I loved this situation so much that I made another four to five sticks and had one after another. After some time I felt like going to bathroom, which seemed far-far away from the place where I was still hiding.

Twist Two:

I went to the bathroom and saw my eyes in the mirror; they were dark red and felt like somebody was trying to burn them. I gave a smile and stepped towards the shit-pot, by mistake I peeped inside and it was like a deep well with white tiles. I am scared of heights so immediately I started looking at the roof. I finished, washed my hands and opened the door to come out (I did not see the mirror this time).

As I stepped out of the bathroom I was in a big hall where many people were sitting/standing talking and laughing, I saw a little girl standing in front of the door, which was looking at me and said “Daddy”. I was not able to react I stepped forward and fell down (don’t how) and my head meet the sofa’s edge and I felt pain and sleepy. I saw people gathering around me and I closed my eyes.

Where am I?

I had a nice sleep and didn’t want to come out of it, but then I thought “let’s see what is going around” and I opened my eyes. I was surrounded by white curtains for a second I felt like I am in heaven (am I dead). But there was a lady sitting next to me on a chair reading novel. She looked at me and said “It’s been three weeks now (she is my mother – and I don’t remember her). She called the nurse, who stepped in and checked my hand and eyes, then she left and came back with a doctor (He was my tenth classmate – and I don’t remember him too). He asked me several questions and was not able to answer anyone. I could see a tensed expression on my mothers face. She looked at the doctor, and without any question he replied “Happens, the injury was on head. And it is normal and will be normal in few days”. There was another lady peeping from behind the curtain (She is my wife) and her face was telling she didn’t slept all these days and she had cried a lot.

Who am I?

I got discharged from hospital, and these people took me in a big house (My house) and told me to take rest in the room, full of pictures/photos of a couple and their kids. And I was thinking why they have kept me in this place.

I just wanted to wash my face and went to the bathroom, while washing my face I saw a stranger in the mirror. I got shocked “This is the man in pictures in outside room”.

I came back laid down on the bed and started thinking “What is this? What is happening?” I checked my injuries I had in the morning (the day I fagged those leafs) and they were fresh and still paining. That week many people came, tried to talk to me but I was speechless.

My wife decided to send me office, because I was looking upset and going under depression day by day. She arranged my clothes gave me my lunch box, and before she said good-bye she kissed me on my forehead and said “I left it the day I told you that ‘I have very good news for you – you will be a father soon’”. And she gave me a wave with a sweetest smile I ever saw/remember.

I started to drive, I took my car out of the house, took left then a right and at a traffic signal I stopped. The signal turned ‘green’ and something in my mind rang a bell “Where are you going, do you know what do you do, where is your office?” Tears were not stopping and my smile was lost. I was lost, I didn’t remember where to go, and I even forgot where did I come from? I stopped my car at a random place, moved out of the car sat on the footpath with my hands on my head, I don’t know what to do, where to go. I sat at the place for hours and hours (I don’t remember). I felt hungry and I realized I have a lunch box with me, while thinking what to do I finished my lunch. Suddenly something started shaking in my pocket, I searched deep in the pocket and I found my mobile ringing. The call was from ‘sweetheart’, now I don’t remember how to receive the call, there was a man passing by I requested him to receive the call and hand over the phone to me. The man with a strange look pushed the green button and handed phone back to me and left the place after every few steps he was looking back at me.

I said hello, and from other side a question was thrown at me “How are you?” and as the situation was I replied back “Not good, everything is going wrong”. And suddenly my wife replied “You are ok now, that is your usual answer” and I could see her smiling. Breaking here excitement, I told here “I am lost, I don’t know where to go, what to do?” She asked me “Where are you?” and I replied “I don’t know, I don’t remember a thing”. She asked for the surroundings, told me to ask people where you are, and after some time she came to me along with the doctor. Then they took me directly to the hospital, for a quick checkup.

And they declared:

After some checkups my entire family was there in the hospital, and doctor in very low tone told them “He lost his memory and its danger for your family to keep him at home”. So he will arrange a new location where I will get treatment and might get my memory back.

Nobody came near me except my mother and wife, all four eyes were wet and both mouths were shut. Two guys came; they hold my hand and took me out of the room. Out side there was a van standing, written on it “Mental Hospital” and I smiled “I can still read”, and they put me in a room and the walls were painted with cushions.

What could have happened?

I was sitting in the room alone and was trying to recollect “What could have happened”.