Followers

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

I wanted to write some fun posts. Here is one of a monkey incident. I burst out in laughter every time I remember this.

I and my college friends were on final year project tour. We went to a city with tiled roofs and lots of greenery around.

I stayed in a hotel with almost wet walls and grounds with only a dry bed.

Then, I wanted to go out for lunch. The lunch was arranged on the terrace of the hotel building.

On the stairs' railing, there were two monkeys sitting. One was very big and the other was small. They were sitting together.

Just for fun, I made a face, teasing one, at the two monkeys. The big monkey bared its teeth. I ran away to the terrace, totally unaware of what was coming. When I took my plate for food, two people came hurriedly. One fair girl and one brown guy.

They started telling me, Anu, I don't know what you did. I replied to them coolly that I did not do anything.

At that particular moment, one large monkey on the terrace came running towards me.

I got scared. Since I was in a group, the rest of the group shooed the monkeys away.

Then, I realized what I did on the stairs.

You have no idea how much I laugh remembering this incident. Even to this day. My stomach bursts out.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

This is the year ending. Time to look back, review, keep my work in memory. Here are my resolutions for the year 2017.

1. Work more for women empowerment. Top priority. Too many women are in trouble around me. Help them. I can show you how I help people. Any woman in trouble, direct or indirect, please send me an email if your husband is inflicting domestic violence on you, or is sleeping around with other women. I want to eradicate AIDS from India. Top notch priority.
2. I am applying for PhD full time. This is something that I have had pending for a long time. Doesn't matter where I do it. I will publish research papers, all in my name. First Author will be me.
3. Never ever fall in love. Because love is poison. Not to mention, how much it distracts me in my work. And I love to work.
4. I want to teach some old people around me how to use internet. They don't know it all. Again social service worker in me.

I will do it Bangalore. I am ready to relocate to other places provided that they are willing to provide me the creative space that I ask for.

I dont want name, fame or anything for what I am doing. I just need my name for all my works. The satisfaction I derive from my work is my reward. For people who did not know that about me.

I will keep the list bullets at four. Maybe, I will change the resolutions if I find a goal worth pursuing in 2017 subject to worth my financial and emotional currency.

This will be the last time that I will ask for public request after stating my side of story.

I always followed Amma, Malathi Koppad. I followed her everywhere. To her natives, to her relations, and ate what she always gave me. She also told me stories.

Appa was never there for me growing up. He was an alcoholic. I don't recollect him at all.

Amma, Brother, BK and Sister, DK filled my life with horror stories. If you come personally and ask me the things that they told me, I will tell you. Those things and stories are not worth mentioning on this blog.

I told in my previous post that I had a contribution towards the house that I built for Appa and Amma.

I also told that I could stay and plot revenge for the things they did to me.

I am me. I don't want revenge. Because the sickness of the stories that they told me will translate into things that I would not think of inflicting on my true enemy.

Also, there is the emotional baggage of inflicting things to them.

I don't think I want to do this part of running around and asking why they did, what they did to me.

I have multiple copies of stories that they have told me, including the family friends and relatives that I have had.

If ever, I felt the need to return to them that they need my help, I can look at what I have and remind myself to never return. I am never going back to them.

I don't need their house, their money, their savings. Not one paisa of it.

If you ever meet them, please slap them in the face for me. If you need proof, I will give you questions to ask them, so that they will tell why they did what they did to me. I don't want to hear the endings of those stories from them. The sickness is just going to kill me.

I am not scared of living alone. If you have been following me, you know what I can do to earn a living. I can earn just enough to live free. That's enough for me. I deserve a better life. I can earn that myself. Not a single paisa more. I have myself to look after.

I am requesting all of you to tell me what I have to do for the things that I have been through.

Sexual harassment, disowned by my parents, friends and family, I slept on streets for some days. Without a job. I was roaming without proper slippers, wondering what was any obligations that I had towards anyone.

Because starting from now onwards, I am going public with my investigations.

All of them. Blogs, letters, poems, paintings, Meditation, sex, love, lovers, pens, school friends, college friends, every aspect of my life the way I saw it.

I am going to name everyone in the process while I investigate. If there is someone who thinks I am at mistake, I am asking you call me directly, or come speak to me. My email ID is annakoppad@gmail.com My cell phone number is 8792879112. You tell me why you know what you know, and I will tell you why I did what I did.

We can a public live streaming discussion on youtube, national TV channels, news reporters in everyone's presence.

I am asking everyone to watch me live on the channel. Please let me know.

As I name them, I am asking these people to give me what I deserve. Every single paisa of it. Not a single penny more. God forbid, not a single paisa less. Hatred included.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

I wrote to the home Python Software Society of India, https://pssi.org.in/(PSSI). I am also registered on https://pythonexpress.in/ since I am interested in promoting Python training sessions in and around Bangalore.

I wrote to everyone in the contact list of https://pssi.org.in/. No one has ever replied so far. Just so that you know, I am currently serving as one of the eleven Directors of Python Software Foundation, https://python.org/

I also wrote to Kushal Das, who is also another Director of Python Software Foundation, https://python.org/ asking if he could reach out to PSSI and ask what was happening with my membership. I spoke to Vijay Bangalore(vnbang2003@gmail.com), Kracekumar Raju(kracethekingmaker@gmail.com), and this email address(contact@pssi.org.in) about my membership. This was in June.

I had a conversation with Ewa, Naomi, who also suggested that I move forward with the local Indian group. I was waiting for some kind of reply atleast.

I also wrote to Shijil (shijil@fsmk.org) from the https://fsmk.org/ on November 13, 2016.

Can general public intervene because I am going to talk anyways to the Chief Minister of Karnataka? This time if I go to Chief ministers office, I will take press reporters, cameramen, TV news reporters, and the rest others with me to cover the story. I will have Youtube live streaming if not anything else.

Apparently, Yamanappa Koppad and Malathi Koppad belonged to Kuruba community. Which is the caste of the current chief minister, Siddaramaiah.

Erappa Kurubar, Malathi Koppad's father had hundreds of goats to herd.

Yamanappa Koppad was friends with current chief minister, Siddaramaiah. Often, Yamanappa Koppad always went out to campaign for Siddaramaiah.

There were stories of Siddaramaiah floating around. About his sons, and his wives.

I have had friends from all castes. Brahmins, Lingayaths, Eligas, Edigas, and some of the castes I do not even know. I have had friends from all kinds of people of all different language. Mangaloreans, Bangaloreans, people from all over India. I even had people from United States, whites, and black friends.

I do not see the difference in caste. I do not see the cultural backgrounds. I do not see the languages people speak. As long as you are a person who can respect to another person just as the same you are, I treat you equal. As long as you do not raise your hand/power over another person, I respect you for what you are.

I find people are both good and bad. Irrespective of the backgrounds they come from.

Unfortunately Malathi Koppad and Yamanappa Koppad dont think like me.Yamanappa Koppad took me to meet Mallika Ghanti, a person close to the chief minister, and the chief minister Siddaramaiah long time back.

I am not going to use caste to my advantage. I do not need a reservation. Even the thirty three percent of reservation that is set aside for women.

I went to the court near Lalbagh, on H. Siddaiah Road. The Judges changed three times within a span of one year.

I read that the gold given to a girl at the time of marriage belonged to the girl. I read it here, http://www.lawctopus.com/academike/streedhan-right-woman/ and here, http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/streedhan-is-womans-exclusive-property-sc/article7906734.ece

I met a lawyer Basavaraj B L who took 9000 Rupees from me and never appeared to the court after the second hearing.

My exhusband gave me an alimony of two lakh rupees. I quit my Job from Apnacourse.com which was giving me a salary of eighteen thousand per month to move in with Rajhaprabhu.

My in-laws and parents did not give me the jewelry also.

I have more stories to tell that. I did not have a job in Chennai. Neither do I have now.

I quit from IPTel at Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore because they were paying me Rs 15,000 per month.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Lord Rama who took Sita to forests and then doubted Sita's fidelity. Then the earth under her feet broke and took her in after she gave birth to Lava Kusha. Lord Rama was "KIND" enough to believe a fishmonger's words and let go of his wife, Sita who followed him to the forest, and then walked on fire for her husband.

Lord Krishna, who had so many wives, that he took so many forms to please his thousand wives. No wonder, India has always had problems with the population.

Lord Vishnu, who sits on a snake bed, and keeps Lakshmi at his feet. Why not the other way round? Lakshmi on the top, and Vishnu at his feet?

Lord Shiva who was stupid enough to give his gift to Basmasura and then running away from Basmasura because Basmasura wanted to return the favor of the gift?

Not to mention other gods of Indian mythology, "Indra", another word for womanizer", etc of the likes. Why did Yama need a buffalo to ride on?

Lord Hanuman, who was Brahmachari but went all the way to look for Sita from Ayodhya in Bihar to Sri Lanka, for his lord's wife? Was it just loyalty that drove Hanuman?

Krishna who saved Draupadi in the time of the public rape, because the five brothers had bet their wife? What do I call this? What was a woman here? An object to betting? Why did not Krishna give Draupadi the powers of Kali to set those five brothers on fire and the entire the Kaurava who kept laughing while Draupadi was being raped publicly? Why did he give a saree only to Draupadi to cover herself?

Why did Laxmana draw a line and asked Sita to not cross limits while he went out to look for Rama himself? Why did not Lakshmana not take Sita with him if he cared for Sita. Sita with him was better than Sita alone. If anyone tried to harm Sita, he could his bow and arrow skills. Or why would he not teach Sita to use arms and bows so that she would not need anyone to protect her? Was he expecting Ravana as a guest so that Sita remained at home, and would greet Ravana with open arms? Make someone weak, draw a line, circle around her, ask her to never cross the limits, and offer her as a bait to Ravana who always looked at other men's woman.

Is this the mythology that we draw inspirations from? Hindu Scriptures, anyone?

For a while, I tried to believe in Jesus, for he was a man who asked other men if there was no one in the crowd who had made mistake so that such a man was capable of punishing a prostitute. If Jesus was really a son of God, why did he not bestow powers to a woman to make a living for herself instead of going to other men.

I think of all, Jesus still holds the trophy. You know, when Satan came and challenged Jesus to jump off the cliff, why did Jesus walk away? What was Jesus afraid off? What was that Jesus that kept hanging to life? He did not have a wife, or a family that he had to fend for? Attention Deficient Disorder, anyone?

Dont even get me started on Muslim scriptures. Sorry, people, I will break it the way I see it. Men who forbid women from wearing men's clothes, do men like things. Keep her covered from head to toe so that no one else is seeing what is happening? What is there to hide? Who is having sex with whose's wife, is that what you want to hide?

I thought about this for a lot of time.

I am sorry that I do not believe the scriptures that is being offered to me. I choose my life above all. I would like to quote Upendra's dialogue, "I am god". Yes, I am a god in my world. And my world is not my family. My world is my body and mind. Who comes here and goes here, I decide. No one else.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Dear Appa, Yamanappa Koppad(YK), brother, Basavaraj Koppad(BK), sister, Dhakshayini Koppad(DK), and mother, Malathi Koppad(MK) alias Mariyamma Kurubar.
This is my contribution to the house that we together built.

I got housing loan documents ready after quitting my job at UnicitaConsulting. I was getting a decent salary of Rs 30,000 as a Patent Analyst at Unicita. I gave all that to MK.

When the house construction started, I quit my job. I applied for a housing loan from State bank of India, Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore. Which was refused. Then, I went to Canara Bank, Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore and applied again. This time, they sanctioned Rs 28 lakh for the house.

I overlooked the construction of the house for over a period of two years. I spent all my money that I had saved for myself, that I handed to MK.

I still have records for all some of the talks that have been happening between me and YK, MK, BK, and I rarely speak to DK.

DK and MK threatened me to get married to Rajhaprabhu. I had a dizzying confusion of choosing between family and marrying. I chose to marry Rajhaprahu for you people. You never came and saw me properly at Rajhaprabhu's house.

There is still a lot of money that you people have not returned to me. I have records of how much loan is being repaid since I have direct access to the loan accounts.

Tell me how much you spent for my marriage, how much you spent for me? How much I have not returned to you?

Because this time, I am coming back with court case, police, and general public to tell what you have done to me.

Tell me how you intend to return my favor to me.

Rest, please watch me when I do what I do.

To update you that I am not bluffing, I have bank records, police records, and voice recordings of when my parents were hitting me.

I have already spoken to these bunch of idiots, and they think I cannot do anything to them. MK, and YK hit me in the house. I have a domestic abuse violence case against MK, and YK. DK watched while MK and YK hit me.

BK took me to Jagadeeshwari Matha ashram in Bidar when I told MK was making my life horrible.

I wrote in my previous post about my personal life which I do not want to hide from anyone including my parents and family.

I had to go to Delhi for a policy on "HOW TO ENGAGE IN BROADBAND POLICY AND REGULATORY PROCESSES". I did not have cash at hand. Talk about demonetisation effects. I was standing in a queue at the SBI ATM cash counter at Indian Institute of Science waiting to withdraw money which was giving out only Rs 2000 freshly minted notes, then I realized that I had money in three different accounts. None of them above Rs 2000.

Laugh at my plight if you will. But then, its middle of the month and you cannot expect my cash than what is necessary. Also, I have stuff that is worth more but not in cash. I never had so much of a high on my life than the one that I felt at that moment. That I was truly free from obligations from anyone. I was laughing. It was after so many days that I have felt this good.

After that, today, I called up my parents to ask some money for cash. My father did not have cash. He handed over the phone to my brother. My brother offered me to give Rs 2000. After he said that, he started asking about my previous post. He asked me what would people of where my father's new house is would think of. He also asked me what I thought of myself.

I told him to the face, I was me. No one else. I have already told that I smoke and drink, and why would it be wrong to date someone. His voice got louder and I told him, that I did not need their house and cut the phone.

I may not move to that house. I will move to a new house that I can live according to my needs.

To Sumit, if you are reading this, I am sorry I used your name without your permission to do it on my blog. I had to test family's reaction to what I am and what I do. I may never see you again if you did not want it and happened to read this by mistake. I am sorry if you did not like being mentioned.

To my brother, if you are reading this. Just leave me and never follow me again. Even on my blog. You can go tell Appa, Amma that I wrote this. The only reason that I wanted to move to Appa's newly built house is because I had contributed towards its construction. You may not agree with me on that, I have proof to show. And please stop lying about the money issues, you, Dhakshayini, Amma, and Appa are having.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

I had a pre marital affair with a guy called Praveen Ballal with whom I had sex for the first time. He died in a car accident, thats what his ex wife told me after I left him.

I was married to a jerk called Rajhaprabhu who had erectile dysfunction problems.

Then I have dated a guy who was in a relationship with a married woman. All three of us had problems. So I quit from there. Sex was good even if it was only two-three times.

I then got into a relationship with a married man, and later a very old guy. I quit because they did not offer me the comfort.

Now, finally I am getting some sex from that guy who was in a relationship with a married woman. Apparently, he told they have separated ways.

He lives in a another city. Once in a while, he comes to Bangalore, and its good.

So, I have asked him to move in with me in my new house.

He has not replied at all.

So, Sumit, if you are listening or reading this, reply and let me know if you are willing to move in with me, provided you pay half the rent that I am paying to live in my father's house.

You don't have to marry me. You can move out when you want. The same thing holds true for me. The moment I start feeling uncomfortable or way too comfortable, I will kick you out.

For the rest, see, I like Sumit not because I have great sex with me. That bloody bastard allows me to fist fight with him. Also, I will update you if comes back. If he does not, please do the needful for me. Kick some in his dark butt for me, please. Thank you for understanding.

And if you don't reply, it is ok. I will date some other guy on the block.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

As stressed I am right now, I have tried non medical treatments of doing meditation as well.

I did this class way back in 1999 from Sahaja Stithi Yoga organized by Gurudatta Guruji.

Meditation did some good work initially. It calmed my jitter nerves.

But then I started having dreams. Dreams of falling down stairs.

I remember when I attended the class I had this thoughts of mass orgy. I did not like it.

I did not like the thought process that Gurudutt Guruji, propagated. Isolation from people, and leading ascetic life. I mean, if you have a problem, you don't go to forests and meditate upon a stone rock, how does the problem go away.

One thing about me, I am fascinated with life. Everything excites me. Colors, people's expressions, food, etc all of it really gets me going. I cannot sit without doing something. But here was a thought process that was taking away from that. So, I did do one thing. I practiced meditation process in my room for a while.

It did not take away the stress after some time. My health deteriorated more.

I was having dreams of going away from people, I saw myself dying, etc.

I thought it was more stress, and then I stopped meditating. I started dancing which turned my mind towards my body. Which was better than meditating. With eyes open.

I considered my mother and father as my children after a while since I believed my mother was uneducated, and my father had problems with his attitude. Not to forget to mention, how much I cared for my sister. I considered her my child for whom I could set the best example that anyone could ever have had.

Unfortunately for me, all of them turned me down. Told me on my face that I do not mean a thing and did not do anything for me. They were angry with me.

I could stay and plot revenge for them. But what makes me makes me. Revenge is not me. I cared, and I loved. True to the last word.

I have no wish of mating another guy or having any more children. I do not want to adopt another dog for that matter, that will keep me holding to anyone.

I went to the doctor and told her that I want to get hysterectomy in case there was anyone who wanted me to look for them, or save them, or love them, sex or no sex involved. The doctor says that I have to get a sign from my father to have the operation.

Right now, I have just enough to live for the day. So, till the time comes when I can afford the operation. I will wait.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Its my innate inborn ability to connect with people. People from all kinds of backgrounds, and all kinds of statuses. I don't care if a person I am talking to comes from a poor background, or is a rich person.

Like I said in my previous post, I connect with people whose names and faces that I may not remember at all. I laugh, share a joke, and then I am on the roads again, traveling, discovering new places, talking to new people.

I can never sit in one place, or stick to one person totally or emotionally. I draw inspiration from people. Everyone I meet on the way teaches me something that I don't know.

Sex is out of question.

I am not sure if I can find a man or woman that will say I am okay with you talking to so many people, or treating them like you have known them from ages when in fact you just met them. There has been no one so far.

That makes a people person. Totally. No one ever comes close to what I am, what I see, and where I want to go. No one. Ever.

This post is due before I unpark my *** from Indian Institute of Science.

Its not the research, not the green campus, not the world class research facilities, not the people, not the professors, or the fact it is one of the most popular institutes in India that I will miss, or not even the fabulous nine rupee tea at Prakruthi canteen that I am going to miss about Indian Institute of Science.

There are three wise women, whose names that I do not know who work at Prakruthi canteen. I dont know them, and perhaps will never know them. Once in a while, when my salaries have not arrived or I am cracking jokes about the other waiters who have upturned noses, and are acting like they are the royalty of England, I don't give a damn about the waiters acting like royalty of England, these three women stand with me and laugh.

Its not even that these women are trying to date me or anything. I will keep it that way. My happy memory.

This was perhaps the best kind of relation that I have come across. Its even better than the one teacher that I had.

Here, as you must have already know from my previous posts, I literally have no personal life. That leaves a lot of room for several projects.

I bought a Arduino Uno board and a Raspberry Pi 3 boards for my projects. I got another Gemalto Concept Board from Gemalto people. I have another Intel concept development board that I intend to work on.

Apart from this, I recently wrote my patent agent exams, on 27 November 2016 to be specific in Chennai. I am still awaiting those results.

I am attending a Zumba instructor course on January 27, 2016.

Like I said before, I am also working as an intern for the Openstack group as part of the Outreach program.

And as a major move, I am moving away from Indian Institute of Science which I have always considered as home. I am going to miss you, Indian Institute of Science. As green as you are, I find my true calling, traveling, teaching what I can to others, in the process learning more. I cannot remain stuck to you like a child is stuck to its mother via the umbilical cord.

I know my work life balance is definitely going to be awesome in 2017.

I have been waiting to tell my real story. Like no hiding facts. I tried to solve this problem, problems that I had with my family, with people that I tried again and again. Talking to my own folks, I have tried all that.

The girl in the story is me.

I have tried to tell whatever I remember. There is must be an end to this.

Unfortunately, I have no means to tell. When there is an entire system that is set up against me. I am not sure of anyone, anymore.

Ok, let me accept it. I stole the title of this post from a video that I saw on Facebook which showed some ordinary satisfying things from which people derive satisfaction.

I mean, hell yeah, winning a million dollar lottery is exceptionally satisfying, but then for the lesser mortals like us, what is oddly satisfying?

Today, one such situation came up. I had earlier blogged that I am one of the person selected as an intern for Openstack under the Outreach program.

I had an old Dell machine on which I had Devstack installed and was submitting patches from that machine. It started puking errors when I ran ./stack.sh. That has been happening for the last three days. I tried everything available on the internet to sort out the problem. That did not work.

I recently bought a new machine, again, a Dell Inspiron 15, 3000 series machine, that I rebooted with Linux 16.04 operating system. Then I git cloned the Devstack and ran ./stack.sh. It was the same set of problems. So I did do one thing. I wrote to my mentors, Raildo Mascena, and Rodrigo Duarte Sousa from the Openstack group who suggested that I try running Devstack in virtual environments.

Virtual environments spewed up another set of errors.

Finally, it worked and I was able to get it up and running is not what happened.It is nowhere close to it.

While I tried to several things, I wrote up the errors in a word document using Libre on Ubuntu and then was about to post the question on Stackoverflow. Then suddenly, my machine hung. I had to reboot it.

When I restarted my machine, and fired up Firefox, the old session was restored. My worry was always there. Now, I had to think of the unthinkable, To even ask doubts to my mentors, and then post questions on mailing lists, and post it on Stackoverflow, I would have to redo the efforts of the last three days.

Fortunately for me, when I opened up Firefox, my question on Stackoverflow was saved, and the word document still had my documentation.

I dont know when I had hit the control save on both of them.

Now, that was oddly satisfying.

I know, people, life sometimes gives you lemons. I just had my lemonade.

I just googled up Youtube to see if there was any thing else that were oddly satisfying, found this.

Unfortunately for me, I had a alcoholic father, and an uneducated mother. The only goal that I had in my mind was that I was to grow up an independent person with no obligations towards anyone.

It was way too much dillydallying about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be, and I worried way too much about it.

For me, I believe that even art is a way of science, and science is a way of art. I do not discriminate knowledge. That holds true for both basic science and applied science. For a long time, I was considering both of them, basic science and applied science trying to see which was more worthy of pursuing. It took a while for me to realize that both of them are dependent on each other.

But the way I chose, I took the one that gave me money because I needed money to survive. I was ready to accept basic science as well as applied science that gave me the creative space.

Let me tell what I did.

I got into bachelors for engineering since I wanted to earn huge money in shorter span of time, doing it the right way. But then, the urge to research and get into the creative space of my mind, it kept pulling me.

I was doing my first year of engineering when Kishore Vaignanik Prothsahan Yojana(KVPY) advertisement appeared in newspapers at Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore in the year 2000.

I spoke to my mathematics teacher at University Visvesvaraiah College of Engineering, Bangalore, Ms. Hamsapriya if she could suggest me what I could do for my application that I do some research at the college itself. She said she did not know of anything that she could do to help me.

I then spoke to my professor V. Keshava Murthy, electrical engineering department of University Visvesvaraiah College of Engineering did not have anything to suggest to me.

The interesting world of information with all its wonders did not exist for me then. Whatever I knew was what I knew from people all around me, what appeared in the newspapers, and what I heard from my parents, friends, and other people.

I met Dr. Prakash A S, a PhD student in the year 2001 from Solid State Chemistry Unit of Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore and spoke to him about my application. He was happy to have me work under him. But the condition that he imposed was that, his professor Prof. M. S. Hegde would not acknowledge my application. Naive as I was, I believed what Dr. Prakash told me. The closest I came to my application was what Dr. Prakash had given me. I was alright with Prof. M. S Hegde not acknowledging my application. But I just met Prof. M. S. Hegde to seek permission to use his laboratory for my experiments, to which Prof. M. S. Hegde agreed.

It was the year that I was doing well in studies at college, and I was indulging in research, research if my application was successful would actually make money and give me some recognition as well, and alleviate my otherwise no money condition.

I did submit my report to the scholarship application. I have no idea what happened to it. There must be some feedback mechanism to tell me what went wrong, or what was that my application was missing.

As hard as it was, there is nothing that I could do to find out what was happening. I still don't know how the application process is judged.

The milieu was totally different from what it is today. There is access to so much information that I do not need anyone to teach me something. A computer is so much more of a beautiful world. I learn, I write, and then I have the satisfaction of doing my work, and being recognized for my work.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

It was a slow process of learning and relearning for me. I had contributed earlier way back in 2013 to Openstack and was accepted into the program. Since I had conflicts going on, I was not able to accept the offer and withdrew due to personal reasons.

Then I restarted my path again, started contributing to Openstack and was accepted into the Outreachy program.

Memoization is optimization technique that optimizes the number of
calculations being performed by storing and reusing the already
calculated values. A memoization cache is created when a function is
called for the first time, and every time there is a call to the
function, values are stored in the memoized cache, reducing the
redundant calculations.

In the following paragraphs, the technique is illustrated using the
example of a factorial.

A simple literal implementation of factorial in Python without using
the recursion method is given by Figure 1:

Figure 1: Factorial using for loops

This case helps and gives the correct answer. This becomes redundant
when there are many values whose factorials need to be calculated.

It is here that the technique of memoization comes handy. Figure 2
exemplarily illustrates the code for memoization technique.

Figure 2: Memoized factorial

If the values that are calculated are stored, then those values can
be pulled from the memory for further calculations without
recalculating again.

Figure 3 below illustrates a simple timer program that can calculate
computational times for the two functions mentioned in Figure 1 and
Figure 2 respectively.

Figure 3: Timer code for calculating computation times

On
the first time call of the function, the normal factorial calculation
illustrated by Figure 1 and the memoized factorial illustrated by
Figure 2 utilize the same computational cycles and give results in
the same time frame. For example, Figure 4 illustrates the code for
calculation times for the the normal factorial calculation illustrated
by Figure 1 and the memoized factorial illustrated by Figure 2
0.0395050048828 seconds and 0.0834770202637. In fact, this is quite
in contrast with the expected results.

Figure 4: Using timer from Figure 3 for doing calculations

However,
if the calculations were repeated in this manner, the advantages of
memoization come into picture. Figure 5 illustrated the example code
for repeated calculations.

Figure 5: Repeated calculations

Using
the code in Figure 5, when the computation times for the normal
factorial calculation illustrated by Figure 1 and the memoized
factorial illustrated by Figure 2 provide for 4.68964886665 seconds
and 0.108646869659 seconds respectively.

This
is primarily for the reason that once the factorials are calculated
and stored and are retrieved when there is another instance for the
variables. In the first case, the values get calculated every time
and hence increase the computational times.

In
this article, the benefits of memoization are explained. There is one
disadvantage of memoization, that is, memory is used for storing the
values. But that is a trade off that is to be balanced for gaining on
the speed of computation.

Further,
recursion methods give faster computation, that combined with
memoized technique can make the programs a lot faster with a little
trade off on memory. I will write more about those in another
article.

This is a post
about my personal expectations of what I think virtual reality is and
what I want to do.

Most of the current
virtual reality simulators require that you wear some kind of
additional equipment upon on your senses that will make you feel and
sense the virtual environment. That is you need an extra equipment to
experience that virtual environment.

This is not new. It
already exists in movies and the concept is being used by movies. The
actor does not actually handle or manoeveur some of the things as
props that do not exist but acts like he is using them while the
camera and other technical people involved in the movie making
develop the rest of the set using existing software and hardware.

Applying this
concept to virtual reality, I am seeking to develop tools that do not
require equipment on a body but still provide the required virtual
environment.

For example,
projectors and screens and other materials placed at the right places
can produce three dimensional images that look very real and feel
real but do not exist in reality. The capability of deceiving the
spectator experiencing the virtual reality is very true.

To state an example,
it might not require any more actors, and expensive setup if you can
setup one studio that is able to do this. A slight feed into the
program and you are able to develop stunning results.

On a medical note,
hallucinogens are known to induce experiences in the human body that
cause the user to believe that he is seeing or experiencing things
that may or may not be true. That is whole different ball game altogether.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Suppose you have an enemy that has been planning on launching missiles at you. Missiles that are the usual ones but the ones that mark their target and never leave the target, following the target everywhere.

You try to thwart the attempts, or try to disable the missile launch themselves.

After a while you get tired.

I almost stopped in tracks at the story.

I complete it this way.

I go to the enemy base or headquarters, whatever you want to call it. Running away from missiles is my habit, after all the attempts the enemy has made at sabotaging my life.

Every time I met him, I saw his eyes looking for an answer. His eyes looked longingly at me. His actions were almost totally different from what his eyes were telling me. His actions were being subdued by the brain in his body.

He was a man I met, amongst several men. I could picture him. He was a good looking man, with a decent paying secure job. He had a family, probably a loving one. Some days, I saw him accompanied by his wife and two beautiful kids. It was the most perfect family picture that I could ever want to paint.

There was something missing though. There was a longing in him for more. For more than living a normal life. He was still looking for the one who would make his life complete. It is a need that I understand. His brain confined him to the boundaries of our civil society while his heart yearned for the thrill of living, rather than just existing.

I also saw that putrid, pugnacious smell of being afraid of escaping from the norms, of being afraid to not conform to the rules of the society. I wanted to tell him to take the risk, and let go of everything that he had been raised for.

You see, I am someone who broke away from the emotional baggage, and earned my financial freedom. I could never see him do that. That made him a coward. A coward that did not risk for the comfort, even for the sake of living it. Even when that comfort was a lie, when it was actually taking away the precious moments of his life. A courage that he would never muster, that I had gathered and faced the consequences. He deserved that life.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

I have developed new interest in movie making, and acting. It was a while that I wanted to get involved in theater, art and drama. I recently completed an acting workshop by Rangmach at Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore. It was after that, I seriously started making videos of me acting out roles. Here is an take on one of my roles.

Watch, and please leave your comments. Both comments and critiques are welcome with equal elan.

Friday, December 2, 2016

The atmosphere I grew up shaped me till my ideas were born, and I was able to think better, not prejudiced by the circumstances and environments that I grew up in.

That gave me the reason to write this post. Does the society define? Do I define me? What is that defines me?

There are some days when I do things that the society that I live in will never accept but makes me feel comfortable.

By the line of thought, I have come up with two theories, rather should I call them two identities that I have developed and I prefer to call them individual identity and collective identity.

Individual identity is something that I do when I am alone. I am happy eating lots, coding, reading, writing, dancing with no particular steps, or moves, etc.

Collective identity is what I pose for others to be just because I live in a society and I need their respect. Actually I don't need their respect, but then, I need money to live, food to live, that comes from working , and working requires that I interact with people, and hence I have to bow down to the system in which I live.

There are days when I wake up and don't want to meet anyone. Nor interact with anyone. I have had enough with this people. And don't want to work anymore. I think of starving myself. So that I don't have to eat anymore. So that I don't have to mingle with people.

How many times will it before when I will be doing what I like instead of doing what is dictated by the system?

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

I wrote the following critique to the article titled "The most overrated thing in entrepreneurship" by Bill Aulet.

I am in part agreement of the article. I do agree with the fact that idea requires discipline and process with which it is pursued. As the author of the article points out, they started out with an idea and ended up with something different than what they had planned. This leads me to think, even as they started rolling out the idea with precision and commitment to make it happen, they responded to other factors such as market, customer satisfaction that paved way to new ideas that were based on the original idea, but had changed in response to stimuli. I agree it is dangerous to stick to original idea, but its the original idea that paved way to other ideas. This is where innovation comes into play. There is always ways to nurture innovation. Hence the importance given to ideas is much more than what is depicted in the pie chart of the article. Successful collaborations are possible with new ideas.

There is one flaw with the argument that the author is trying to make towards the end of the article. He says that in the end, people and process should be the focus as they are what determine success. I disagree here and argue that the idea of success is colored here. Who define success in the first place? Is the ability to keep people happy that defines success? Is the monetary benefits that you gain out of your idea that makes for success? I would like to point out that in India, some of the richest men emerged from humble beginnings. For them, they did provide people what they wanted. But that did not deter them from trying out unexplored terrains. They started playing out different products in different fields. Some of them worked for the public and some did not.

There are two ideas that I am trying to get across here. The first one is that, ideas are important. Just as important as process, diligence, and co founders. It is the ability of ideas to evolve over time that is even more important. Second, the next time an entrepreneur is excited about his new idea, wink at him and ask him to be ready for the roller coaster ride of bringing the idea to execution. It may or may not popular and might not work for the other people. For the entrepreneur who created the idea, it is always a grand success. For every mother, her child is the first person and the last person in the world.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

These are couple of things that I have learnt from my experiences about predatory conferences:

1. No proper website or online presence.
2.
I have realized one thing, build a website and pay little money, your
website starts featuring in the start of Google results. Even if you
have a website, and it gets shown in Google results, its not good to
attempt submitting your paper to such conferences.
3.
Conferences that have poor website design without proper designated people
for responses. Unanswered emails, and overall unresponsiveness is the
biggest light that can open the innards of the conference.
4.
Conferences that try to fleece money from the users without giving
proper justification about the way they are getting papers published.
5.
I can close my eyes and trust in established conferences such as IEEE,
Python Software Conferences, etc. Conferences that have had a history
rather than a new website with the all above mentioned points. There are
some negative points about established conferences as well. But given
the choice between bad and evil, I would still choose Bad than evil.
6. Educational qualifications of peer reviewers, editorial board, and their experience with reviewing and editing papers.

Monday, November 7, 2016

I am a writer from
Bangalore, India. I am currently divorced from my husband and I took
to writing soon after I divorced. That situation has made me write
this article for people like me.

I am a post graduate
in Electrical Engineering. After a lot of no and yes, after being
persuaded into marriage, I had agreed to marry someone not from my
city. I had a decent paying job which I quit to move to another
city. I had spoken to my ex husband on getting a job soon after I
moved to his home. He lived with his parents.

When I moved to his
house, I least expected what he and his parents had in store for me.
I worked like a maid, un paid one, at their house. I applied to
several jobs. I got a few interviews too. For each job, there was a
unhealthy response from my ex husband and his parents.

The environment
suffocated me to the extent when I called it quits. I went and told
his mother that I did not like their son and wanted out of marriage.
As expected, their response was the typical type. I returned to my
house in Bangalore, was not welcomed by my parents, found a job and
then started writing.

The court
proceedings and the events that occurred following the divorce
deserve a whole set of writing up altogether.

This provoked me to
do this article. I am writing about a few Indian women in my life
whom I have known who have born the burden of holding the families
together.

Swaroopa, (name
changed for sake of anonymity) is an elderly woman married to a man
that she never knew before marriage. Their children have stable jobs
and are doing well in their career. Her husband, Rahul is a
womanizer. Apart from having affairs with women younger than him(one
of them is less than half his age), he is married twice. He also
bears children from his second wife. Occasionally, I hear stories
from common friends on how Swaroopa went and fought with the second
wife. There are times when I go to lunch with Swaroopa and Rahul, and
I find Rahul’s second wife’s son is there too. I watch helplessly
when I see them. I cannot hate Rahul. He has been my family friend
for several years. I watch Swaroopa helplessly deal with emotions
with her frail body. A part of me wants to advice Swaroopa to quit
that marriage and come with me. I could help her. But I cannot go
against the Indian society conditioning of Swaroopa’s upbringing
that makes her stick herself out for her husband and her family. How
do I help her break out of her shell? I broke mine when mine
suffocated my desires and ambitions. At this moment, I can support
Swaroopa, but I do not have the money or the emotional bandwidth to
be the hero of Swaroopa’s life. Rahul is retired as a Central
Government employee and is well to do financially. As though that is
not enough, he is well involved in the political scenarios at the
local neighborhoods. Those things that I can never boast off.

Swapna is a friend
of mine who married to her college sweetheart after years of
courting. I attended their wedding and was very happy to see them
together. A recent meeting of mine with Swapna threw forward a blow in
my face. I am still trying to reconcile the fact that two people so
much in love earlier can hate each other now with the intensity.

Jayamma works as a
house maid near my house. Her husband died a few years back. Once in
a while, I catch Jayamma around the corner bush near the building
holding a man’s hand, a man I already have seen around. He is the
vegetable vendor. I dare not say a word and walk as if I have seen
nothing.

Someday when I
gather enough courage to ask, and able to support my decisions, I will ask
these women what they did not have in their life that stopped them from
leading their lives as themselves. And not go behind men to support
them. I do see one advantage of being in a relationship, there is the
extra cuddling, care, and warmth. But the amount of dirt that
accompanies the relationship in terms of jealousness, hatred, possessiveness, and other negative emotions that start filling the
spaces around the relationship, is it worth pursuing a relationship
at all?

I want to tell these other
women to stop looking for support. They are already earning for
themselves. They don’t need anyone else to fill the empty spaces
around them. Until and unless it is someone whom they know that will
not break that trust. Until then, there is no need to stick ourselves
for these cheap men who derive sadistic pleasure of using women like
toys. Big toys for big men, toys that are not robots but humans with
emotions and feelings.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

I started doing a series of Comics for myself. I just did not realize that I found within myself an ardent urge to draw them. I could not sleep after that. Simple comics without requiring many specialized software, using Libre Office Word, I created these three comics.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

I am divorced lady living alone. If you ask me, if I ever miss marriage or wedded bliss, I would not hesitate a second to tell no. The way I have seen marriage is worse than my worst nightmare. Oh wait, isn't that conflicting with the title of this post. Please be patient, while I write it out.

There are some things that I do miss about marriage, here is the list of the reasons.

There are times when I am working on my computer, and I want to drink tea, I just miss someone to bring me tea at that particular without me having to move my parked assets, if you know what I mean.

There are times that I am late to places where I have to be, thats absolutely the time when I miss someone to take me there while I handle my personal stuff.

A guy near my house told me that he has been observing me over the past few days and has fallen in love with me. I wanted someone to punch him in the face right there, because right now, I am having problems with diet, and stuff. Yeah, I know man, a personal, unpaid, bodyguard is what I need.

One time I fell ill, and I was not able to move from my bed, let alone go to work or eat.Thats the necessity. I mean, I know, a personal nurse who can wipe whatever.

Whenever I see my house unclean, I definitely miss having a partner to clean it up..:D A in house servant who will not steal stuff.

Friday, August 12, 2016

I was one amongst the 103 participants who were awarded the scholarships to attend the Wikiconference 2016, Chandigarh, August 5-7, 2016 held at Chandigarh Group of Colleges, Landran, Mohali, Chandigarh, India.

I took an AirAsia flight on 4th August 2016 from Bangalore Kempegowda International Airport without having as much a clue of others who were traveling on the same flight to attend the same conference.

When I reached the Chandigarh International Airport, volunteers holding the plaque cards for the Wikiconference caught my attention and was escorted to the airport lounge where the other Wikipedians from the various Indian communities were waiting to picked up and transported to the venue, Chandigarh Group of Colleges.

The various contributors for the Wikipedia started arriving one by one, slowly trickling in, from Sanskrit, Malayalam, Tamil, Konkani, Telugu, Hindi, English, Bengali, some Bangladeshi contributors, and so many other people that I cannot either count or remember right now. It was here that I met Mahalakshmi, the Sanskrit Wikipedia contributor, Harriet Vidyasagar, Konkani Wikipedia enthusiast and a couple of others. Little did I know that I would be sharing my accomodation with these two wonderful ladies and another Bengali wikipedian, Sumita Roy whom we met later on the Chandigarh Group of College campus.

The friendly volunteers ensured that the atmosphere was light. Since I was hungry, I grabbed a Samosa from the only airport stall that was located near by, while Mahalakshmi grabbed herself a bread sandwich.

After sometime, we were all directed to Chandigarh Group of College buses that were waiting to escort us to the location.

How the next three days passed is something that I cannot describe in words. Also, I need to provide the pictures talk for themselves while I need to shut my mouth.

Here are the pictures of the college campus, the various events that I attended, spread over the three days.