The Online LOA Party!

Q&A: Can LOA Help New Mom Sleep?

Calling all conscious creating parents … this new mom wonders whether Universe can help resolve sleep issues she and her new daughter are having … got any advice for her?

Here’s our mom:

I have trouble using the law of attraction when it comes to my little girl, partly because I see her as a little individual and don’t want to have such an influence on her.

She is nearly one, still sleeps in our bed, still wants to breast feed all night and I have not had a full nights sleep since I was pregnant. Now I have just accepted this as part of motherhood but its really taking its toll.

I have asked the universe for my daughter to sleep through the night, in her cot and for me to stop breast feeding all in a perfect way (i.e. no tears, no sleep training). For me this is a big ask of faith so I wanted to ask an expert. Is it possible the universe can do this for me?

I’m turning this one over to the parenting experts in the house … what say you, wise ones?

26 Responses to “ Q&A: Can LOA Help New Mom Sleep? ”

I am not a parent, but I have had to care for family that disrupted my routine in uncomfortable ways. What I learned is that asking the “offender” to change their behavior always results in more of the behavior.

My best “trick” is to work on not being offended. To appreciate everything possible about life as it is, knowing that it is getting better everyday and what I want will surely be a part of that momentum sooner or later.

Dear Mom,
When I became a mom, I switched from being a heavy sleeper to a very light sleeper. I think it’s about protecting the baby.
Get in tune to why you are awake? Because you are thinking, or because the baby’s movements while in bed or being awake is keeping you up? And would you breastfeed IF the baby slept more peacefully most of the night?
Envision the peaceful, easy transition into what you want. Accept the fact that you can live happily on -maybe- four hours of sleep, and take a nap when the baby does. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could sleep on your side while the baby nurses back to sleep? And the comfort that you create for your child is also available to YOU? This is a beautiful and bittersweet relationship, so there should be some enjoyment of it all. You can make it more enjoyable by noticing all the wonderful moments of the closeness, warmth, safety, and love you are sharing together. This baby is teaching you about yourself!! So, don’t look at reality, instead, look at what is working out great in this whole sleep cycle thing! Sleep cycles are temporary, all things change, so if you can accept that, it will soften the resistance.
And, the baby will eat more solid foods soon, and will nurse less. That’s a fact! So, have comfort in knowing that it is all perfect. You are perfect and so is the baby.
This has all worked out for me, as I’ve nursed three babies until they were all past 3, and one had sleep apnea that is far better because of my beliefs that she will sleep soundly.
I am wishing you, relaxation and joy as you bring your desires into focus.

She touched on this, but I will elaborate: make sure your current reality is a positive experience- now THAT is in your control, right?

The attitude you have towards it right now can be “dear Lord I hate this, I can’t do this, this is awful, I’m exhausted, WHEN WILL IT END?!?!” …or it could be, “truthfully, as her parent, if I really felt like I couldn’t do this anymore, it is in my control to decide that. I decide to let her sleep with me, I decide to allow her to continue to breastfeed, etc. And I’ve decided I would like to give her that flexibility because that makes me feel like I am doing right by her.”

Knowing you truly do have a choice in the matter also can help with relieving the negative “I’m a captive” feelings.

…and back to what Jen said, there are many many ways to re-frame your perspective so that you experience it as a beautiful, peaceful, magical, special (yet temporary) situation that you have the amazing privilege of experiencing. Right?

This is how I handled my sleepless nights as well. And when I was willing to let go of the crappy negative story and embrace the beautiful privilege story, MAGIC HAPPENED!!!

So glad to see you commenting here, Jen! I was going to email you personally to ask for your input. Thank you!

Love this: “Sleep cycles are temporary, all things change, so if you can accept that, it will soften the resistance.” That can be a tremendously helpful reminder for many of us, no matter our situation! 🙂

”I have trouble using the law of attraction when it comes to my little girl…”

You don’t need to. Your little girl is already working with the Law of Attraction quite well on her own. She, like you, is also a creator.

”… partly because I see her as a little individual…”

Just for a time, begin viewing her from the Broader perspective of Source.

Think about all the lifetimes she’s lived before now. How would your perspective change of her thinking about her already living 100 lifetimes up until this one? And this time, she wanted to come in again and play with an awesome person and mother who would be an example of alignment?

As you focus more on Source’s perspective of her, you begin viewing her more as an equal, infinite, eternal being who has gotten quite good at this physical game.

”I have asked the universe for my daughter to sleep through the night…”

When you ask that, are you more aware of her getting a calm, nice, enjoyable, reenergizing night of rest, or are you more aware of her being awake all night and the lack of being calm, relaxed and reenergized?

Also, your child’s sleep is not the only thing you want. You want YOU to be able to sleep through the night.

Focus on the feelings of relief and good feelings of how soothing, and the ease, and the comfort, of you getting a full night’s rest, and allow Law of Attraction to figure out the details and inspiration to come to you to help soothe your baby as well as yourself to sleep.

Brian, I love your tip to activate the feelings of relief and ease now. That’s a good one.

And this was also a good point to make: “your child’s sleep is not the only thing you want. You want YOU to be able to sleep through the night.” It can make all the difference in the world when we get the right focus, huh?

When my daughter was born she wanted feeding every 2 hours. I cheerfully went along with it. I decided that I LOVED getting up every 2 hours. What happened? I started waking up every hour and a half, ready and waiting,looking at her beautiful sleeping face. I was so excited when she woke up! I was lucky I had a full time nanny because I was working single mum but I just took the sleepiness as being high with joy. I stopped caring if I nodded off at work, in a cafe or at a friend’s house, everyone understood, I was a new mum. My advice would be to change your mind about it being a problem and love the whole experience as it is. The other thing to remember is it is a phase. It won’t always be like this. In time, I started putting her to bed at 7pm each night, main lights out, even if she was awake. I’d stay with her and sing to her but it was bed time, same time every night. You have to set the pace. Don’t beat yourself up! You’ll be fine, keep reminding yourself. CONGRATULATIONS! A baby! How cool is that? Love Roberta

And actually, Roberta, you’re reminding me that I sort of have done something like this … it’s not the same, but it certainly has similar challenges. Late last year I found myself bottle feeding eight newborn kittens around the clock for several weeks. Although it felt like a lot longer! I was not myself during that period, that’s for sure. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!! 🙂

I have a 7 year old and an almost 3 year old, and there was a marked difference between my experiences of both my babies when it came to sleep thanks to deliberate creation.
With my first my vibe was – swinging between – is my baby ok / my life has changed so much / when will I ever get sleep …… Notice the heavy vibration of frustration and overwhelm.
With my second baby , I pre paved and scripted before she was born about her sleep patterns and vowed that no matter what the reality presented I would stick by my vibe that I created thru my scripting – which was relief , gratitude and feeling rested.
My daughter slept 6 hours straight from two weeks old and then 12 hours straight when she started solids. And I know it’s because I got deliberate and consistent about my signal to the universe.
This is what I would suggest to you –
I suggest seeking support and getting as much sleep as you can in the day time for a few days to conserve energy that you will need to manage your vibe , being sleep deprived makes it impossible to be Aware or consistent in your vibe.
Then I would suggest letting go a bit , reminding yourself that they grow up really fast and all is well.
Then I would ask you to script , meditate , visualize and really conjure up feelings of a restful night . I would go as far as saying that you could even script a easy transition in to the cot for your bubba. Just get some rest first ( even daytime rest ) and then tune in to how you are feeling about this , tweak that and voila you will be having your first restful night after ages and you can thank the universe and your beautiful baby.

I’ve had six babies, the youngest of which is five months old, and all of them have slept through from very early weeks. I LOVE having babies, every last moment of it.

But I have no LOA wisdom to impart except this – you have all the answers already within you. I am a strong believer of the magic of mamas and that your best source of knowledge is inbuilt. So trust yourself and it will all work out just fine.

I wanted to say a massive thank you for all your wisdom and kind replies. I will be taking all of your advice and putting into practice today. My little girl is 11 months old and I can tell you there doesn’t go by that I feel joy in my heart and deep gratitude for her. I think I have forgotten how to believe some of the things that seem impossible can shift and change and mircales can happen. Thank you for putting me back on track with some of my seemingly impossible situations.
I am visualizing a wonderful refreshing nights sleep as we speak.
Thank you Jeanette for answering my email your site and users are truly a blessing in my life.

So glad you’re open to receiving, Helen. That says a lot about how you’re already primed for success here. 🙂

Several other people emailed with tips to share as well, including to make sure you’re drinking plenty of water, and also that setting boundaries to prioritize your well being allows you to be of highest service to your daughter.

I can totally relate, dear! My baby is going on 16 months. One thing I haven’t seen mentioned yet is if you want to fall back asleep on your side, try stuffing a small pillow behind your back to support your shoulder blade (it helps to have something to lean back on, so you aren’t trying to pull yourself back from squishing baby).

I’ve also been super lucky-on-purpose by manifesting an amazing web of support. I know a lot of mamas feel all alone in their journeys…but what would being really well supported feel like? (for me, I drew and wrote and felt this grid a lot, and now it’s happening: it’s easy, miraculous, divine timing, people appear just when I need them, I just need to ask and poof! sometimes I don’t even need to ask before it’s offered!, fun, sweet, tender, cherished, people are drawn to me and my baby like they are to a shrine with offerings and such pleasure to help!) The burden doesn’t have to only be on you, even though you’re the one with the milk! My baby often will go and sleep with someone else for the night who has a bottle of honey-sweetened almond milk, which allows me little vacations. SOoooosoOo nice!

Also, you’re so right, she is an individual, the creator of her own experience! If she’s having a tough time with something, you don’t always have to soothe her if it’s causing you distress. I think it’s actually really hard to soothe when you aren’t feeling calm. Sometimes it’s most downstream to ask for support, to pass her off, to maybe just set her down somewhere she’s safe and walk away for a moment to wash your face or breathe or look at the stars or scream into a pillow or do whatever you need to do to find some relief, and ease your way back into alignment! It’s okay! We want to pamper our babies and make sure they’re happy, but we actually need to take care of our own happiness first.

Lastly…I find it really helpful to go into a meditative mode and ask my baby’s higher self what she’s needing. I remember one night when she was just born, she wouldn’t stop crying until I tuned in and asked her inner being, and heard “I want to dance! I have to much energy! I need to get it out!” So we danced around the room with her and she settled down instantly. Try asking her inner being what she’s wanting with the breast feeding journey, how can you support her in the transition into her own bed, how can you get some sleep? This might just give you insights you wouldn’t have thought of otherwise!

I have recently gone back on this tread to remind myself of the comments as I still no closer to weaning my little one. I have made some progress but im ready to ramp it up. Your advice nearly had me in tears, if I could hear what my little girl wanted it would bring me so much joy. I am trying this tomorrow. I am so truely grateful for your kind advice. For taking the time to reply, I think in my sleep deprived days I hadnt seen your reply. So its a bit late but I needed to thank you

There are so many brilliant ideas on this page so I’ll offer just one idea that might be helpful to Mom.

When you say: ” I have trouble using the law of attraction when it comes to my little girl, partly because I see her as a little individual and don’t want to have such an influence on her,” it makes me wonder if you’re thinking of your “influence” as a negative thing. (The reason I’m curious is that I find myself thinking the same about my kids who are now 27, 25 and 18.)

What if this is one of those times when your influence is a really good thing? What if learning how to sleep all night in her own cot turns out to be something that helped prepare her for sleepovers, or summer camp or even college? Anyone who has trouble sleeping away from home knows the value in being able to get a good night’s sleep in new surroundings.

My mother encouraged me to let my first born cry himself to sleep in his crib and that eventually he would learn and just fall asleep. I thought her idea was cruel and instead rushed in whenever he cried. Result: I was exhausted and eventually angry.

With my second child, I thought otherwise. Rather than thinking it was cruel, I looked at it as helpful to us both (actually the whole family!) So I let her cry. She eventually fell asleep and to this day is a very good sleeper.

I’d say you’re right on in believing Universe can assist you with this… It already is… by opening you to this community and all these ideas. Following through on the ideas that feel right to you will lead to some well-deserved sleep.

All I know is, when our baby boy was colicky and a “terrible sleeper” the more we talked about it, the worse it got. So my husband and I started telling a different story. “He’s such a great sleeper,” and my husband would always say “I don’t mind getting up with him at night. We get to spend more time together.” (He’s the world’s BEST dad. I’m so lucky to have him.)

What you resist persists and change doesn’t happen overnight, but now our little boy is two and sleeps through the night in his own room, in his own bed. Just remember this won’t last forever. Sooner or later she will want to sleep on her own and be Little Miss Independent so try to cherish these moments with her. Now my husband and I look back on those sleepless nights with happy memories, thinking about how little and cute he was. We actually MISS getting up with him, rocking him and talking to each other in the middle of the night. It’s a very short time and it will be over before you know it!