A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Liberals Beg The Goracle To Save The Democrats

The Democrats have a bigtime conundrum. Both of their leading candidates are unelectable in the general election in large part because of Hillary's decision to fight for the nomination to the bitter end...and possibly beyond. So how can the Democrats get themselves out of this lose-lose situation? By calling upon the Mighty Goracle to save them. At least that is the proposal of several leading liberals as you can see in this HUffington POst THREAD titled, "How Al Gore Could Save The Democrats." However, this presents several problems. Even if Al Gore accepts the nomination, this would only ENRAGE the Obama supporters, many of whom would sit on their hands in the general election. On top of that, the Mighty Goracle would want not only the nomination but the general election served up to him on a silver platter without any effort on his part since he believes it is owed to him. The great thing about the bind the Democrats have put themselves into is that there is now no easy solution. No Way Out as the movie title says. So let us now watch the HUffies struggle with the new problems posed by The Goracle solution in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, once again crediting Operation Chaos for the Gordian Knot the Democrats have wound themselves into, is in the [brackets]:

Buzz up!on Yahoo!With Democrats beginning to voice fears about a long summer of two candidates sniping over electability, the name of unofficial party elder Al Gore has resurfaced. Gore was tossed around early and often as a potential nominee, complete with his own grass roots recruiting party. However, the former Vice President and Nobel laureate assiduously avoided exhortations to run.

[The Goracle demands to be annointed, not run like a common candidate.]

Nevertheless, the Gore question is coming back. Joe Klein is the latest to make the case for Al Gore coming into the Democratic race in the case of a brokered convention:

[Save us, Oh Mighty Goracle!]

"Let's say the elders of the Democratic Party decide, when the primaries end, that neither Obama nor Clinton is viable. ... All they'd have to do would be to convince a significant fraction of their superdelegate friends, maybe fewer than 100, to announce that they were taking a pass on the first ballot at the Denver convention, which would deny the 2,025 votes necessary to Obama or Clinton. What if they then approached Gore and asked him to be the nominee, for the good of the party-and suggested that he take Obama as his running mate? ... A prominent fund raiser told me, 'Gore-Obama is the ticket a lot of people wanted in the first place.'"

[And Hillary is just going to stand on the sidelines and allow this to happen. Also I don't think Obama would be too happy to take the backseat as Veep candidate to The Goracle. Back to square one, Joe.]

Meanwhile, Jason Horowitz this week tried to outline the timing of a Gore endorsement:

[Did Jason first make a carbon credits offering first when presenting his outline?]

"If Gore were to weigh in, he would have to do so before the superdelegates begin breaking for either Obama or Clinton," said a former Gore adviser, after laying out the various scenarios that might prompt the former vice president to get involved. "The superdelegates constitute the last true contest in this race. And for many, Gore is someone they talk to, listen to, and whom a lot of them admire and respect. Having him make a closing argument for either candidate would carry significant weight with some of these last-man-standing voters."

[The Goracle weighs in at about 300 pounds.]

And earlier this week, Rep. Tim Mahoney (D-FL) suggested that Al Gore as an alternate coming out of a brokered convention:

[You mean Florida where the delegates were stripped of their seats thanx to Howard Dean? YEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!]

"If it (the nomination process) goes into the convention, don't be surprised if someone different is at the top of the ticket," Mahoney said.

[I'm rooting for Mike Gravel as the dark horse candidate.]

A compromise candidate could be someone such as former vice president Al Gore, Mahoney said last week during a meeting with this news organization's editorial board. If either Clinton or Obama suggested to a deadlocked convention a ticket of Gore-Clinton or Gore-Obama, the Democratic Party would accept it, Mahoney said.

[And royally piss off about half the party. And now to hear from the HUffies on the possibility of The Mighty Goracle as their Savior...]

Now that the progressives have discovered their "Jesus" they don't want Al Gore stinking up their ticket!

[No crucification of the Obamassiah will be accepted which means NO veep slot for their beloved.]

If Howard Dean had an ounce of leadership capacity, he'd quash this non-sense post haste. This is a distraction, and provides the illusion of a possible solution. Reality check: Hillary will not step aside. Not for you, me, the media, fellow senators, voters, delegates, superdelegates, or anyone else. Dean should crawl out from under his desk and show some spine.

[YEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!]

We need Al Gore to save the world more than the Democratic Party. If Al Gore would lead the Carbon Zero Project as Secretary of Energy he'd be doing both.

I just don't see why Obama has to take a seat at the back of the bus after all the work he did. Why?

[Because of a massive screwup by Howard Dean. YEEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!]

This would mean the hell with the first woman or the first African-American. The white man comes to the rescue. This brokered deal would be a major insult and would, I think, make the Democratic party look even more hypocritical than it already does.

[Bill Clinton was already the first Black president and the Breck Girl could serve as an alternative to Hillary.]

The Democrats are going to take Obama out and destroy the Party in the process.

[That means we should all hail the coming of The Mighty Goracle!]

we DRAFT GORE at the convention and give either Obama or Richardon the VP spot.

[HUEVOS RANCHEROS! I can never again see the name of Bill Ricardson (or Richardon) without thinking of huevos rancheros.]

Bull Crap he's to scared to stand up and be counted in this mess! Ain't even got the guts to say enough is enough and tell Hillary it's over alll ready and stop destroying the party! Ya, we can realllly count on Gore--Like we can count on Howard Dean to take a stand!

[YEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!]

I think if Obama announced his VP choice now (Richardson - and yes, he speaks Spanish in response to another poster) and just acted like Clinton wasn't even there, that would go a long way towards convincing Dems of his inevitability and would stop this nonsense talk of coming up with someone to "give" the nomination to against the clearly stated preference of the majority of Dems.

[An egg is a premature chicken.]

It's time we grow up. It's time the Democratic party stand up and realize there needs to be a solution now. It can't be decided by the delegate count, so why make people go through the bitter battle that could certainly cause the country to continue sinking into the malaise that Moron-Boy

[There is no solution to the Democrat Gordian knot thanx to Operation Chaos.]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HILLARY GET OUT!!!!!!!

[Nope.]

I'm an Obama supporter. And I'm not a fan of Clinton at all. But if Gore comes in and takes the presidential candidacy from either one of them, I will be so PISSED, I will never vote for another Democrat again. It either has to be Obama or Clinton. They've worked for 15 grueling months and Gore's done nothing to campaign. That's so pretentious of Klein--let the white guy come in and take it from the two minorities. Paternalism at its worse!

A 100% Islamic world will not be some reich wingers paranoid fantasy. Instead it will be better for:

Public health:

The Muslim act of prayer is designed to keep worshippers fit, their joints supple and, at five times a day, their stomachs trim. The regular washing of the feet and hands required before prayers promotes public hygiene and would reduce the transmission of superbugs in London’s hospitals.

Alcohol is haram, or forbidden, to Muslims. Turning all the city’s pubs into juice bars would have a massive positive effect on public health. Forbid alcohol throughout the country, and you’d avoid all of the alcohol-related deaths and the national bill for alcohol-related crime.

Ecology:

‘The world is green and beautiful,’ said the prophet Muhammad, ‘and Allah has appointed you his guardian over it.’ The Islamic concept of halifa or trusteeship obliges Muslims to look after the natural world and Muhammad was one of the first ever environmentalists, advocating hima – areas where wildlife and forestry are protected. So we could expect more public parks under Islam, but halifa also applies to recycling!

Food:

Application of halal (Arabic for ‘permissable’) dietary laws across America would free us at a stroke from our addiction to junk food, and the general adoption of a south Asian diet rich in fruit juice, rice and vegetables with occasional mutton or chicken would have a drastic effect on obesity, hyperactivity, attention deficit disorders and all associated public health problems. Not eating would be important as well. The annual fasting month of Ramadan instils self-discipline, courtesy and social cohesion. And Americans would heroically benefit philosophically and physically from even a short period when we weren’t constantly ramming food into our mouths.

Arts:

All of the finest art in America and England is already Islamic. Islamic influences have flourished in all areas of the arts, with novelists, comedians (Birmingham-born Shazia Mirza was an instant hit on the London circuit), and music (from rappers Mecca2Medina (LOVE "EM!) on, to the less in-your-face Yusuf Islam)

Race relations:

Under Islam all ethnicities are equal! Once you have submitted to Allah you are a Muslim!!!! It doesn’t matter what colour you are. End of story.

I don't see this Al Gore scenario happening. One HuffPo poster has gotten it right: both Clinton and Obama supporters would bitterly resent a white man coming to the rescue of the Democrat party by dumping a woman and a black man.

"The Democrats have a bigtime conundrum. Both of their leading candidates are unelectable in the general election..." PJ

And katyinmaine is full of shit. Jesus. And you people buy it? Apparently so.

Back to PJ's statement. Smell anything?

Now before any of you start throwing esoteric poll numbers around about the RepubliDUms and the DUmmies, let's remember the election is in November. After planting that fact firmly in your cerebral cortex (like you would like to do to a Muslim with a K bar implement), admit that no one, anywhere, with a drop of brain juice, especially after looking at the polls, thinks McSame is a slam dunk. PJ's reading the tea leaves and, maybe, just maybe, chicken entrails. Does it matter if they're frozen? Just asking.

What none you vegetables factor in to this equation is what happens after the Dems pick their candidate. I'll go on record right now (five hundred bucks to a charity, PJ) that the Dems could nominate a yak and still win the general election.

Have you all lost your capacity to think critically? Independently? I, troglaman, ask because you're all thinking like a bushel of artichokes (Prickly. Part of the thistle family. Best served with garlic butter or a savory mayonnaise).

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About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.