Seeing as how no one has dropped dead and the flu symptoms
are gone, I’m figuring the afore mentioned deadly onions saved our lives.Here my hypothesis told in a 3rd
person narrative.

It was a breezy, warm
day in East Tennessee on the Igarashi Goat and
Curry Ranch.The Igarashi and Suarez
kids (besides Emmiko, who found a way to fish and “watch James”) were digging
trenches for water and electricity.Pa
was tilling the ground where Coie had messed it up.

Little did they know
they were slowing dying from Malaria caught from the mosquitoes that live near their
stream and pond.Poor souls didn’t even
feel bad, whilst their lives were slipping away.They were too busy arguing over who was going
to use the picks, and who got stuck picking rocks out.

Ma was feeling mighty
delighted to walk among the fruit trees.She soon spotted some grassy stuff sticking out above the rest of the
grassy stuff.She picked it and sniffed.

Later that night Ma
went to play Dirty Bingo, and Coie Lou picked that onion stuff and threw it in
the stew.Pa felt real scared and did
some research on his laptop.Everyone
ended up eating it anyways.Them onions
were actually magic onions, and fought everyone’s Malaria away [hence all the
rumbling and grumbling of stomachs].And
tada!We are all alive and living.**

Whew, that was painful trying to write out Mom’s sentence
with a hick accent.Anyways, that’s my
story.Do you think my hypothesis is
accurate?

*My name does not have Lou,
Louise, or any other kinda funny ending at it.That was just to add a humorous twist.

**That repetition was intended, as were all of the
other nonsensical sentences.