Sallie Krawcheck, gender differences, professional women, professional networking, Wall Street, 2008 Crash, 85 Broads, New York Magazine: I really like this woman! A man would have never noticed that … “Holiday cards from her former colleagues,” she says, “were down by 95 percent.” And since most men do not send out the holiday cards, nor can I imagine the men telling them to take Sallie off the list … it sounds like their spouses were not very nice.

There were never that many women in the financial-services sector, but after the meltdown, the numbers began sliding. Krawcheck says she gets it. The men are reverting to their comfort zone. “When I feel risk averse, I am much more likely to surround myself with middle-aged professional southern females; I just am,” she says. “Because I can very easily imagine how I myself would do the job.”

In Krawcheck’s reasoning, it’s not that the men on Wall Street aren’t aware of the helpfulness of diversity of opinion, it’s just that they can’t help sticking to their own, which explains not only the lack of women in the upper echelons but the insular thinking that led to the 2008 crash. “I have spent a lot of time thinking about what could the company have done differently, and I think the answer gets down to groupthink with people who grew up together, with the same information, having the same conversations again and again and again.”

Networking was the “unspoken secret to success on Wall Street,” she realized. “For whatever reason, people are more comfortable networking with their own gender.” She hopes 85 Broads will provide women with the boost men effortlessly offer one another. The year she left Bank of America, she got her own lesson in the importance of maintaining an outside network. Holiday cards from her former colleagues, she says, “were down by 95 percent.”

And that same year, 1971, the Metropolitan Museum of Art introduced a colorful piece of metal as its admission ticket, a tiny doodad that came to occupy a large place in the reliquary of New York City, along with Greek-themed coffee cups, I ♥ NY T-shirts and subway tokens.

“They’re a small but important delight; a proprietary element within the total Met experience. It’s a mistake to move away from them.”

Now the Met’s admission button will go the way of the token. Citing the rising cost of the tin-plate pieces and the flexibility of a new paper ticket system using detachable stickers, the Met will end the buttons’ 42-year run on Monday, the same time it switches to a seven-day-a-week schedule instead of being closed on Mondays.

“I regret it slightly myself,” said Thomas P. Campbell, the museum’s director. “One of my assistants has a whole rainbow of the colored buttons on her desk.” But he and Harold Holzer, the museum’s senior vice president for public affairs, who oversees admissions and visitor services, said that the buttons had become an antiquated luxury.

The questionnaire did not ask us about our siblings and how they shaped our expectations about who does what. There were no questions about how we divided chores with our siblings, and whether there were differences in what our parents expected their sons and daughters to do around the house. But there probably should have been. According to a paper in the latest issue of the Journal of Politics, siblings can have a noticeable impact on how a person sees the world as an adult. The paper, “Childhood Socialization and Political Attitudes: Evidence from a Natural Experiment” by Andrew Healy and Neil Malhotra, analyzes decades of longitudinal data on families and finds that the effect sisters have on their brothers is particularly striking.

Brothers with sisters are more likely to have traditional expectations for gender roles on a variety of metrics, the paper found. They’re more likely to agree with the statement “Mothers should remain at home with young children and not work outside the home.” As adults, they’re more likely to place the burdens of cooking, cleaning, and other chores on their wives. (They’re also more likely to become Republicans, probably as a result of their views on gender roles, according to Malhotra: “Gender roles are a big part of the way the parties have sorted themselves these days.”)

“Men with sisters appear to do less household work, even in middle age,” the authors wrote. “Men with sisters were 17 percentage points (p=.063) more likely to say that their spouse did more housework, suggesting that the gendered environment from childhood may have permanently altered men’s conception of gender roles.”

Why does this happen? The paper suggests that parents treat their sons and daughters differently. Boys with sisters are less likely to be asked to help with chores than boys without sisters. The difference is largest with one chore in particular, for whatever reason: doing the dishes. Boys with sisters are about 13 percent less likely to do the dishes than boys with brothers.

“It’s almost like boys and girls get treated as husband and wife,” said Malhotra.

When these boys grow up, then, they’re conditioned to expect women to be in charge of housework. Boys with brothers, on the other hand, are more likely to do so-called “feminized housework” while growing up and are therefore less likely to associate it with “women’s work.”

Of course, siblings aren’t destiny, and there are plenty of other factors that affect how people develop their expectations for gender roles. I clearly lucked out, though: My husband grew up with a brother and is very good at doing the dishes.

For the Bennet sisters, life in quiet Hertfordshire County is about to change. Netherfield Hall has just been let to a single man of large fortune. But while it is true that such a man is generally considered to be in want of a wife, it is equally true that not all men desire female companionship, just as not every woman dreams of being married.

Like other variations on Jane Austen’s classic romance novel, Gay Pride & Prejudice poses a question: What if some among Austen’s characters preferred the company of their own sex? In this queer revision of the classic original, Kate Christie offers an alternate version of love, friendship, and marriage for Elizabeth Bennet, Mr. Darcy, and others among their circle of friends. But even as the path to love veers from the straight and narrow, the destination remains much the same.

If you have an open mind, dear reader, you may discover the book Jane Austen would likely never have approved, but which, nonetheless, affords a window onto gay and lesbian life in early nineteenth century England.

What is it like to raise a child who’s different from you in some fundamental way (like a prodigy, or a differently abled kid, or a criminal)? In this quietly moving talk, writer Andrew Solomon shares what he learned from talking to dozens of parents — asking them: What’s the line between unconditional love and unconditional acceptance?

Private labyrinth on Hardison Road, Charlotte NC, labyrinth walks, Be Still and Know That I Am God: I laugh whenever I walk this labyrinth because it is both kitschy and very sincere. It is in a beautiful neighborhood and has beautiful flowers and a calming water feature, but there’s the occasional yard art.

It’s on top of a filled-in swimming pool. They have made a nice use of the space and very graciously make it available to all.

This time, I noticed a table with a tray filled with smooth rocks and sharpie pens. A sign asked you to write your word or words. Of course I wrote my favorite verse: “Be still and know that I am God.”

Blessings!

* Here is some info on the Erwin’s labyrinth:

… residential property in a calming woodland setting. The owners, The Erwins, have very graciously noted that, “people are welcome” to come walk the labyrinth. As a matter of courtesy, however, we ask that you contact Jane Erwin, first, to request use of the labyrinth.