Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is twofold. First, it involves
addressing the relationship and communication styles between partners, and second, it involved focusing on the individual struggles that are having an impact on the relationship. In other words, relationship building.

How many times have
you heard yourself say, "You need to .... " or "You have to do
...."? This may be an ineffective way of letting your partner know what you need or expect. The problem with
this statement is your partner may not have the
same needs as you have, nor understand why it is that the task needs to be done. As a result, you may experience a feeling of disappointment that your needs are not being met.

Furthermore, this
statement sounds commanding, which could result in immediate defensiveness. A more effective way of achieving the results you are looking for is to let your partner know what you need. For example, "I
need the light bulb to be changed. Would you mind helping me?" This lets your
partner understand your need as well as the reason for your request. If your
partner is unable or unwilling to meet that need, you now have the ability to
make decisions to meet your own needs.