One villager said: It is so cold in our
village that we have to put on 3 sweaters.
Other villager said: It is so cold in our
village that we have to put on 4 sweaters.
The third villager said: It is so cold in
our village that the cow gives ice-cream
instead of milk.

A lady went to her doctor for a check-up.
when asked how she got the bruises on the
outside of her thighs, she explained that
she got them from having sex. The doctor
then told her she would have to change
positions until the bruises healed. She
replied "Oh doctor, I can't... my dog's
breath is awful!"

Our dog left so many disgusting stains
on our carpet that we had to buy new carpet.
I didn't want to be stupid about the new
purchase, so I cut the stains out of the
old carpet. When the carpet guy asked what
color we wanted, I pulled out the stained
patches and said, "Yeah, can you match this color!"