How to Score Your Teacher

Ask her to educate you

Those who have power want to exert it, right? Her power is to educate and your ace card is to listen. The basis for good communication is both talking and listening, and the same thing applies for making the sexual sparks fly. One way to go about doing this is to ask for some personal tutoring in a subject she knows well. Yeah, yeah, it sounds like the stereotypical plot for low-budget porn, but really, what better way to spend some time with her one-on-one? Oftentimes, your teacher will also be part of an association or a club at the school that has regular get-togethers. These are usually informal events, so impress her by showing up and actually participating, paying special attention to her perspective. Is this a “Save the Humpback Whale” club? Arrive armed with the latest news on whaling activities and how much you abhor such cruelty to animals. We’re not talking hours of research… just enough to blend in. She’ll take notice.

Take advantage of her office hours

One of the nice things that teachers do is provide office hours to discuss matters with students. And they discuss pretty much anything — study habits, paper topics or even just what’s on your mind. Do you really want to score your teacher? Take advantage of these office hours! Her door is literally open — you don’t even have to knock. Arrange a time to meet (or just show up), and start by asking questions about the class or the material. Usually you’ll be able to find times in the conversation where you can go off on tangents, so make sure that when that happens, you’re turning on the confident banter. However, be subtle at first — remember, she’s a highly educated person who can probably read between the lines better than you ever could. Throw down some witty comments and compliments (women love those), and play your game right.

Make physical contact

Now hold on a second — this isn’t suggesting you dive onto her desk unzipping your pants. The Player knows the chances of that working are slim to none (but it would quite an accomplishment, nonetheless). What you need to do is turn the heat up and make your presence known. The previous point said to go to her office to discuss the class with her — take it a step further and get her to analyze your paper or an old exam. When she’s explaining it to you, don’t be afraid to lean in, get a little close and ”accidentally” touch her hand. Physical contact will get juices flowing (if there’s a connection), even if it’s brief. If you find she comes into your proximity for another physical pass, turn up the heat another notch. This is a good sign. You're well on your way to learning how to score your teacher.

Don’t brownnose

This is an easy trap to fall into, especially when you’re trying to woo someone of a higher power. The idea of scoring with your teacher is salient, but being a suck-up to do it is just stupid. You’re going to have to come up with a unique set of conversation topics and compliments to covertly impress her without sounding like you’re begging for a better grade or a pass on your paper. It is not often that professors get hit on by their students, and those who do it must use their brains and wit. So, what’s the Player’s advice? Don’t overdo it, sound intelligent, know your material, and make a select few compliments (but make them smart). Your best approach is to say less, but say it with power. Oftentimes it’s what you don’t say that puts you in a good light, so make your words count.

do your homework

If you’re looking to satisfy your fantasies and want to know how to score your teacher, then take some of my advice to get some memorable “one-on-one” study sessions. There is no single crystalline approach for courting professors; romanticizing women is an enigmatic process with no scientific formula to follow. But lucky for you, you can follow these simple guidelines to help in your conquest of the classroom. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with having an extra lesson, and the Player knows that you’ve got to study extra hard to really ace this test.