Jim Nelson, an office worker in Farringdon, decided against placing his usual Starbucks order of creamy Mocha Hazelnut Frappuccino plus a giant Smarties cookie as part of a desperate attempt to impress the coffee shop’s new 23-year-old employee whom he described as ‘the heart-stopping girl of my dreams’.

A Woking man who used a loyalty card to obtain discount cups of coffee from his local Costa coffee shop has been branded a ‘shameless coffee whore’ by store manager Brad Fuller after being spotted drinking coffee in a rival coffee house.

An anti-capitalist protester camping outside St Paul’s Cathedral in London confirmed today that the experience has inspired him to start ‘ProtestEx’ – the world’s first event management company dedicated to ‘making sure your bid to overthrow the status quo goes without a hitch’.