Daniel Goes To The Paaahhhk

Maybe if we offered our bully the $4.00 beverage option on the menu we could have talked out our differences.

A few weeks ago me and the Brothers Rossi took Pops Rossi to the Yankees-Red Sox game at Fenway Park as a late Father’s day present. Normally we try to go to at least one game a year at Yankee Stadium since my family members are all big fans (I am a Mariners fan). This year I thought we’d mix it up and enter enemy territory to see what it is like to watch a game in a new setting and see if every baseball stadium charges $14.75 for a small soda.

The trip to get there wasn’t that pricey, considering our most costly expense wasn’t the tickets or the hotel room, it was bringing my oldest brother, Rossi Brother I, with us. We usually refer to this brother as “Shrek Rossi” because he resembles an ogre, creates foul smells, and eats everything in sight. This kid is constantly eating and always has meals on his mind. The following phrases were all said by him at one point during the trip:

“Once we get out of this car I am going to eat everything.”

“This place better have a continental breakfast like the last hotel we stayed at.”

“I accidentally ate my girlfriend’s burger” (The girlfriend came with us and this was said at a restaurant mid-way through the meal)

The game and stadium experience was excellent and the people were generally nice to us considering we were all in our Yankee gear (I put on an A-Rod jersey to please my father and make myself feel closer to Cameron Diaz).

The only close call we had was when me and Pops Rossi were in line getting a beer. We were minding our own business when Pops looked over and saw this little kid, maybe seven or eight-years-old, looking over at him. Only it wasn’t some innocent little kid look, this kid had a death stare going like he was that kid from “The Grudge.”

After staring down Pops for what seemed like forever, he finally said, “And where are you sitting?” We couldn’t believe this kid was daring to fight us in the middle of the stadium. And that little dude was intimidating! He could sense our fear as his look got meaner as we stood there not knowing what to do. It was amazing that out of all the Yankee fans there he knew to go for us. And I thought us Rossi’s were only known as wimps in Amsterdam.

Lucky for us his parents took him away after that and we didn’t have to face the embarrassment of being two grown men telling security about a little kid to avoid a fight. Maybe next year we’ll go see a game on a road in a sissy town were we will be the tough guys. Good thing Canada still has the Blue Jays!