Sorry if there is a thread for this already. I had a bad experience with a "friend" watching Toddler Peach yesterday. I was in a bind and it was only for 2 hours. He's a shy little man and I know this but my spouse was still working and I had no choice. He was fine when I left. Playing kitchen and chatting. So she calls me at work and says that he's hiding in the corner and crying. She left him on the back porch and didn't tell him she was leaving to go upstairs. So he's all by himself and he freaked out. She brought him to my work because she had to leave before my spouse could pick him up and her husband wouldn't watch him for 20 minutes. So here I am at work with a 2 year old in tears while I'm crying and trying to work. My boss let me leave as soon as my spouse got there (5 minutes tops). They're great about that thank goodness. When we get home TP tells me he was being naughty. He wouldn't just come out with that. So that tells me either my friend or her husband told him he was being naughty. For being scared and crying. forkers. I'm so angry. Advice PPK?

Oh man, I'm sorry he (and you!) had to go through that! I don't have any stories to share, just sympathy. It really sucks when you are in a bind and people let you down on something as important as your child's care. I hope he's doing okay after all that, poor guy.

Our somewhat mysterious teenage babysitter (we had 2 for a while, sisters-- one was TOTALLY on the ball and quite good, and the other sister wasn't bad but was pretty strange), well, let's see.

We told her that the boy could watch Totoro if he wanted. It's a nice movie and a pretty good way to get him to calm down a bit and relax, since he loves it.

We came home and he was just freaking out. Turns out she'd let him watch it as much as he wanted, and he'd basically sat through an hour-and-a-half movie like four times in a row. So he was full of pent-up energy and acting all bizarre. . We asked her not to let him watch stuff at all for a while after that...

Ugh. I'm so sorry our dear Toddler Peach was so sad! Why would she leave a toddler unattended when she doesn't know any of his routines or behaviors? Yikes.

I think you should tell Grandma Fruitcake about this and maybe she'll step up and watch him more often.

_________________No. No. fork life allatimes. - mumblesThat commercial didn't make me want to go out and buy Dove, but this thread did make me sniff my armpits. They smell like apricot. - designedtobekind

My teenage cousin was keeping an eye on my son when he was around seven. I went next-door to visit with a friend and she came to get me because he had cracked his head on the glass coffee table and was bleeding. When asked what happened he said he tried to flip over the table "to see what would happen." She just watched and let him do it. Ah... good times. Thanksfully, no stiches were needed.

I wish I could say that was the worst story I had but there have been others. Do not be surprised by the stupidty of adults with no experience with children.

_________________Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. Buddha

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface

So far I've only left Inez with my (awesome!) parents, so no bad stories, but my friend has an aunt and uncle who watch her son pretty often and some of the stories from their house make me so mad on her behalf! This aunt and uncle are usually also babysitting their grandson at the same time and they give him really obviously preferential treatment, which is shitty. Plus telling my friend's kid he's a baby if he shows any emotion and being pretty cavalier about a serious peanut allergy. Grrrrr.

Do not be surprised by the stupidty of adults with no experience with children.

I think most adults who don't have experience with kids do think that you can reason with a kid, because they are just pint sized adults. They don't realize that their brains work differently.

We have never left L with anyone who isn't B or me, so no stories to share, but lots of sympathy!

As far as advice goes, if you want any from a n00b, here is my 2cents. (1) My momma friends and I have talked about doing a coop daycare situation, where we could drop the kidlet off with one another, so maybe do that? (2) Also there is a place near us called Le Parc Place that does drop in babysitting. If you could find something similar, you could have had your friend take Toddler Peach there and left him with reliable caregivers.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

I'm lucky to have cool family (although some of the in laws can be a little hmmm) but I'm gobsmacked when my friends who have kids with severe allergies tell me the child's grandparents insist "just a little peanut butter won't hurt, he just has to get used to it". No babysitting there!

I'm lucky to have cool family (although some of the in laws can be a little hmmm) but I'm gobsmacked when my friends who have kids with severe allergies tell me the child's grandparents insist "just a little peanut butter won't hurt, he just has to get used to it". No babysitting there!

Oh my god! I was a nanny for a kid with a severe peanut allergy, and I am panicking just thinking about this.

_________________"No one with hair so soft and glossy could ever be bad at anything." - Tofulish

One thing I think is key and helpful even with good babysitters is making your expectations are clear. We recently had a situation with our sitter where she was letting A. (who was only 5-6 months at the time) watch t.v. to take a nap when A. was "fussy." I mentioned before that I didn't want A. watching TV but the sitter kept doing it. I could tell because at home A. started to get interested in the TV if it was ok or she hear kid shows or cartoons were on the screen.

Sitter said that she only did it when A. seemed really cranky. I told her it wasn't a debate and that I didn't want her going down for a nap watching TV period. Sitter said okay. Sitter has TONS of experience with children (including newborns) and did this with her niece and nephew so she felt it was okay. Her intentions were not bad, but still my kid = my rules, you know?

Now, if I let anyone else watch A. I will make sure to tell them no TV watching, what is and isn't okay, and things that are helpful (e.g. don't leave her in the room alone unattended). Some stuff may seem obvious but I've learned that you can't really rely on things that should be obvious or common sense.

_________________Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. Buddha