The Rag Mag, Volume #13: Insider Edition & Rumors!

In this special “insider” edition, we’re going to look at one very specific subject pertaining to wrestling, and why it’s of critical importance.

* The illusion of a character and the importance of keeping that illusion alive.

I had to get special permission to use this “hypothetically lost footage that I totally made up” from the EWA and those involved. And by those involved I mean I didn’t ask anyone for permission.

First, let’s take a look at character, the development of that character, and the importance of keeping the illusion of that character alive. Unlike in movies, or other forms of entertainment, such as serialized television shows, wrestling characters aren’t played by actors/actresses that “they’re playing on a show”. In wrestling, the actor/actress is the wrestler and the wrestler is the actor/actress. They’re the same person. Get it? The viewer MUST believe that’s the actual person they see in the ring or it doesn’t work, because unlike most television shows and movies, wrestling doesn’t “end”.

In the old days, wrestlers would carry this out to ridiculous off-camera lengths, known as keeping with kayfabe or some such mumbo jumbo wrestling vernacular, to the point in which if after a show a babyface (good guy/girl) showed up at a bar that a group of heels (bad guys/girls) already happened to be at, the babyface was REQUIRED to leave and find a new place to hang.

They could NOT and would NOT be seen together in public.

While this has changed to a large extent in the last decade or two, it’s still important to a certain degree that even off camera, that a character retain certain personality traits of the person they portray while the cameras roll. Still with me? Even at autograph signings and whatnot, as I’m sure some of you may have experienced, Grace Goeren tends to have a bit of an attitude toward the fans from time to time. This keeps her hateable and seemingly entitled, since she kind of is, and it keeps both very important traits to her character alive and well.

Now, let’s take a look at a relatively old scene an example as to why character is important in wrestling. This took place between Sean Boden and Sahara a while back, so as a reminder of what you’re about to read, this is where the naive blonde decided to take matters into her own hands and confront a maniacal Boden on her own, thinking she’d be able to exact revenge in the name of her bestie — err, former bestie — Maggie McIntyre.

As you likely remember, she failed miserably.

He stood up, the haze falling away in an instant. He walked, slowly and casually, to where she stood, picking the knife up out of the floor. “A fine tool, too. Mind if I keep this?” He didn’t wait for her to respond, sliding it into his pocket with one hand, while the other pulled a knife out of the other side; a tactical folding knife, scratched and worn from repeated use and sharpening. “I like this one better, personally… easier to hide.”

He quickly pushed her to the wall, holding her there with his forearm, while holding the cold metal blade to her neck.

“You see, Lauren, it’s a very thin line between good and evil. One I’ve straddled for most of my career. You want to do right by Maggie… get her some measure of vengeance. You want to do something for the woman you’re obviously in love with, even though she will never, ever love you back. I can relate. Really, I can. Probably a little more than you think.”

Ok, so here we have a cowering Sahara being reduced mentally by the sinister Boden who puts a knife to her throat while calmly explaining to her that it takes a special kind of person to be able to do what she was attempting to do. She also may have been (or still is) a drug addict, but has no idea how to administer doses of drugs to other people. That was pretty apparent in this scene.

In a single scene we capture the fear of Sahara when she’s not backed up by Grace/Gaunt all while further cementing Boden as a legit sociopath. Don’t know about some of you but I wouldn’t wanna be alone with this guy. Also, keep in perspective that while it’s not shown in this clip, Boden still finds a way to compliment her in some twisted fashion.

Now, let’s take that same exact scene and hypothetically show an outtake (ahh, the magic of editing and cgi) of this same scene as if it was filmed on a Hollywood set of some sort. By breaking character, even for a few seconds, we instantly humanize both Boden and Sahara and shatter the illusion that makes it all work…

He stood up, the haze falling away in an instant. He walked, slowly and casually, to where she stood, picking the knife up out of the floor. “A fine tool, too. Mind if I keep this?” He didn’t wait for her to respond, sliding it into his pocket with one hand, while the other pulled a knife out of the other side; a tactical folding knife, scratched and worn from repeated use and sharpening. “I like this one better, personally… easier to hide.”

He quickly pushed her to the wall, holding her there with his forearm, while holding the cold metal blade to her neck.

“You see, Lauren, it’s a very thin line between good and-” A smile started to form on Sahara’s face as Boden continued, “-Good and evil. One I’ve straddled-” He stopped again as her lips quivered as if trying to stifle a growing desire to laugh until she finally started giggling. Boden released her and threw his arms up in exasperation.

Pointing the knife at the camera, Boden shook his head with a laugh, “That one wasn’t me…”, as someone yelled out orders for them to take their places again and keep rolling. “Come on Lauren, I can’t work like this!” Grabbing Boden from behind in a huge bearhug, Sahara shrugged at the camera, “It’s ok, a couple quaaludes and he’ll still love me in the morning!”

Boom.

Humanized.

In one single “outtake” the illusion of their characters is completely shattered. Now keep in mind that never actually happened … so I wouldn’t approach either on the street and talk shit.

Ahhh, the magic of storytelling!

Goddamn, I love it!

NEWS & RUMORS

Ok, so, now that I got that little wrestling lesson out of the way, let’s discuss a couple of interesting news items and rumors floating around the EWA stratosphere.

Yes, that’s a thing.

Ok, first things first…as I feel if I didn’t say this first, the EWA would try much harder to prevent me from weaseling my way backstage to overhear these things…

An announcement is supposedly forthcoming about Alexander Haven and Stacy Vandervort. I’m not exactly sure what, but it likely pertains to his condition after the recent car wreck and her future with the EWA.

The EWA isn’t quite sure what happened to the Bard, who happens to be my writing competition who’s nothing more than a glorified shill for the EWA, which is why they allow him to post directly to their fucking website while I have to post much better material on forums across the internet. Wow, talk about a run on sentence…and I could have kept that going! Fuck you, Bard…the Rag is the ONLY place to get your EWA related dirt, people!

Whispers of a Sinn return have been heard. Yes, that Sinn. As in Sinnocence. Sources spotted EWA office personnel at a coffee shop meeting with renowned former World Heavyweight Champion Sinnocence. Supposedly they were carrying a folder with the name J. KAINE written on it…but that’s as close to the conversation as this reporter could get without being noticed.

Oh, speaking of rumors that are totally confirmed…because this happened. I found Maggie’s picture on Tinder and totally swiped right on that shit, because it’s no secret I’m in love with her…I’ve mentioned this repeatedly in early editions of this very magazine. Maggie, if you’re reading this, go check tinder and return the favor!

Ok, some other low hanging fruit, supposedly Sahara gets around. Is anyone actually surprised by this? After the recent Michael Draven rumors started up — by Sahara herself — whispers around the locker room is she sleeps around with some powerful names in upper management, which likely explains how she got away with half the shit she got away with these past few months. And no, I’m totally not upset she hasn’t tried to “get around” with me. Sad face.

Speaking of Sahara, some within the EWA front office are annoyed by her relentless bombardment of their Facebook page of things they say don’t belong on their damn Facebook page. I guess people got upset when she leaves feedback on other wrestlers promos…because she has such a way with words.

I’ve also heard rumblings about some sort of secret alliance between Jacob Mephisto, Sean Boden and Isaac Entragian. And no, I’m not talking about the stuff we’ve been seeing on camera…supposedly this is happening. Can you imagine?

Grace Goeren is still upset about how she lost the World Title…and really, it’s hard to blame her, but at this point she should probably focus on getting it back in the ring versus in the courtroom.

As we know, Mojave’s boyfriend Ethan (I think that’s his name) was recently released from the hospital and authorities are still searching for the assholes that attacked him. Moe’s personally offering a reward that will be donated to local LBGT charities in his hypocritical sister’s name. His sister’s name is Sahara, by the way. I felt like if I didn’t write her name and remind everyone who his sister is — it’s Sahara — that I wouldn’t be ribbing the kid effectively enough.

Rumor has it Tanya Black is getting frustrated with the EWA and its unwillingness to “play fair”, and let’s be honest…she has a point. Then again, she’s also part of a group called Sex & Violence, so I got an idea, kids, how about you start gettin’ really violent about it.

Ok, more Sahara shit…this girl is all over the place. Maybe she does get around. Her recent um, relations with Michael Draven were apparently DENIED by Draven himself, but rumblings backstage are the excuses he made up about the selfie situation — which Sahara has since posted on Instagram — are pretty weak considering the photographic evidence she supplied. Also…I’m not buying it that a single guy that was dumped supposedly kicked THAT out of bed. I mean, seriously.

Newly acquired former SHOOT superstar, Dan Stein, has been making waves backstage in the EWA with his seemingly entitled attitude and treatment of their very own Allison Haines, and quite a few of the EWA superstars have the opinion that he’s nothing more than a big fish from a small pond not called EWA.

The Youth. The Youth. The Youth are on fire. Sorry, I couldn’t resist low hanging lyrics. The Youth have been left in shambles after a recent string of events culminating in a car accident involving Alexander Haven. Since the incident, it’s been absolute radio silence from the usually loud and flamboyant group…when the Youth go silent, it’s deafening. So watch out, EWA.

Ok, that’s it for this edition of the Rag…I hope you enjoyed…then again, I don’t care if you enjoyed or not, without me, all you’d have is that second rate dirt sheet that works for and is controlled by the EWA!