A detailed look at the game of Dungeons & Dragons and all things related

Monday, January 27, 2014

Six Things I HATE About D&D!

So yesterday, Sunday, January 26, 2014, was the
unofficial 40th Anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons. And I thought I
would celebrate my favorite game by digging up the few things I hate most about
it. That’s right, there are a few things/types of players
that I dislike regarding my beloved game and I’m about to do some ranting! I
can praise D&D 365 days a year, but I only get one 40th Anniversary
to bitch! But just before I get going, I want to point out that these gripes
have been years in the making and I am not referring to any singular person,
adventure, or DM. In effect: all
characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. So, with all of that said, the
gloves come off!

To start, I want to look at three types of players that
really grind my gears. The first is “the know-it-all”. These are the players
who not only know all of the rules forwards and backwards (not necessarily a
bad thing) but delight in flaunting it and lording it over the other players
and even the DM. These folks love to interrupt storytelling, roleplaying, and
even combat with an interjection of rule quotation or “suggestions” on what the
PC/DM might be doing incorrectly. Quite frankly, that type of person needs to
spend a few minutes in an actual combat situation having the tar beat out of
them. As I have said on many occasions and will continue to preach in the
future, the rules are secondary to the story. If, as a DM, I want to ignore a
rule to make a better scene/adventure/enemy, then I shall do so. I don’t need a
referee or a Jiminy Cricket telling me that I’m ignoring or bending a rule.
Instead, they should be asking themselves why they feel regurgitating these
rules is required? They might be surprised to find out that it has very little
to do with playing the game and everything to do with making themselves feel
more important. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Another player that irks me is “the chaos machine”. These players are two sided coins because,
for the most part, they are fun, inventive, and very imaginative. But, on the
other side, they love to derail adventures and go off on tangents to make DMs cringe.
These are the folk that will kill NPCs for fun, leave their fellow PCs high and
dry in their time of need, and have a general “what’s in it for me” kind of
attitude. I know that sometimes acting that way is a character choice but even
the most contrary character has to find a reason to meaningfully contribute to
the group from time to time. Otherwise, they wouldn't be with the group in the
first place and just having the character leave the party is a lazy choice. Don’t
get me wrong, I love tangents and sometimes a little chaos is okay. However, if
you feel the need to arrest the spotlight for yourself and your whims on a
session by session basis, then perhaps you need a refresher course on what a
cooperative game like D&D is all about. Get over yourself!

The last type of player that I would like to speak about
is more of a challenge than a distraction. They are the total opposite of “the
chaos machine” and who I like to call “the quiet ones”. This player dislikes
rocking the boat, is always willing to go along with whatever the group
decides, and very rarely has a strong option about anything. While these folk
don’t cause any kind of headache for the DM or other players, they do seem to
be missing out on some of the fun. I understand that sometimes a character
wants to take a backseat and let the others lead the way and I have no problem
with that; but when I see the same thing week after week, changes have to be
made. However, the DM and the other players must tread carefully in this area.
Pushing too hard will have a negative effect, while pushing to lightly will
achieve nothing. Instead, dig in for the long haul and slowly put those quiet
players in the lead positions from time to time. From my personal experience,
if you are patient enough, it will eventually pay off. Sometimes you’ll even
create a monster!

Now allow me to switch tracks and talk about some actual
game mechanics that make me want to burn my books with gasoline and move to
Mars. The first of these is the Opportunity Attack (oh, how I loathe thee). At
some point a deviously minded person said, “combat needs to be more
complicated” and another wacko (a technical term in my book) said, “let’s add
several more ways to make extra attacks in certain situations”. Well this DM,
after reading about them and trying them out for a very short period of time
said, “Hell No”! I stopped using them in 4th Edition and I have
never used them in D&D Next. This has caused some grumbling among players
who have powers or abilities that are tied to these bloody things and all I can
say is: suck it up. I will not suffer a bad rule to live.

Another issue I have pertains more to 4th
Edition than to Next and that was the uselessness of magical items. Was it just
me, or did 4th seem to have a boatload of items that were as useless
as a Kobold with no arms? I remember looking at entire pages of items that
looked like they came off of the cheap rack at Walmart. +1 for your nature lore
check? +1 to any history checks pertaining to your race? +1 to your saving
throws on a full moon in the month of January when the lone wolf howls? (Okay,
that last one I made up but I’d bet they would have considered it!) Thankfully,
D&D Next has gone back to many of the traditional magical items that I know
and love from 2nd Edition. When it comes to magical items, I’ll take
quality over quantity any day.

A final issue that I have with the mechanics of the game
involves leveling up and the experience charts. Sometimes I feel that too much
emphasis and effort is placed on combat and not enough on roleplaying. Each and
every creature in the Monster Manual comes with a specific XP value. And yet,
when you do the research on XP for roleplaying, you’d think you were getting a
palm reading from Madam Whatshername. I know that trying to assign an XP number
to every possible roleplaying situation would be like giving every word in the
dictionary a scrabble score but a more focused effort needs to be attempted. And
that leads me to next week’s topic: my proposal for a more practical
roleplaying XP system. Stay tuned!

Is there something about D&D that makes you want to
go postal? Leave a comment below!

3 comments:

I'd also recommend Burning Wheel if you are looking for a great game with story as a priority and the best way for your character to advance and for the story to be interesting is for you to not be great and to fail a lot (and man do you learn to love to fail in this game!) sometimes the outcome of failing makes such a better story we have players that stack the rolls against themselves. The rules are flexible and there are two types of combat, one is fast (over in one roll and a failed roll does not mean you die) and the other is for more epic or boss fights. And these two mechanics are also applied to social situations!

I agree with everything you just said. Plus one more thing that has burned my arse for 15 years -- why did 3rd/3.5 change halflings from tradition hobbit type creatures to tiny elf looking creatures, with no explanation whatsoever.