Get in the Fight!

Around this time of year, we get bombarded with celebrity commencement speeches. They’re usually packed with a lot of the same vending machine wisdom, but every once in awhile, one stands out.

This year it came from a guy who got famous for eating cat food. Just ignore the medieval pastry chef hat he’s wearing in the video – must be some sort of weird regional costume at Merrimack College.

This week’s ha-ha moment comes to you from Charlie Day of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, whose speech is pure entertainment whether you’re just graduating or long since retired.

My favorite highlights below!

What your degree cannot do, according to Charlie:
Your cannot exchange your degree for cash.
You cannot eat it.
Please do not make love to it.
(I think you could probably smoke it.)

BUT your degree does mean something:
That you have expanded your mind and destroyed your liver but didn’t give up.
That you bought your parents a few extra years of nobody living in their basement.

His ultimate advice:
Lay off the dark beer and bread. You look puffy.

Ryan is a native Florida beach bum who watches way too much television. He likes walking aimlessly, the Ninja Turtles, and anything Italian. Trying not to appear hipster at all costs (but failing). You can follow him on twitter at @RyanTreacy!