I drove my beetle to the carwash this morning, and regrettably it seems to have shrunk in the wash, for on the way out there was a loud "squee" and it transformed into a Sinclair C5.

Luckily the petrol consumption is now awesomely improved, as I now get <NAN> miles per gallon, but it now declines to go up hill; it is necessary to get out and push it.

This has the unfortunate consequences of having to make a five-mile detour in order to navigate a flatter route; but at least my car doesn't get stolen any more because I can just fold it up and put it in my pocket.

I still can't find the "Any" key to restart it though; is that the "ignition" key? I can only find a button marked Ctrl-Alt-Del on the dashboard. I am also missing my free pony.

Yours squishily,Carrie :)

P.S. It was fun with two screens today, particularly when we beat B*bs to the first post on page 100... Oh, wait, was that in a former incarnation?

P.P.S. I now have an artist named "Paused" dominating my top fifty, ever since installing the beta. Could this be the next best superstar?

Claire has gone home for the day, so you've been referred to Tech Supp. Your problem is not unique, but the information is hidden in the manual. Specifically, you need to turn the page sideways and scan it with a monochromatic laser to read between the lines. That will generate a password which you need to key into your Sinclair C5. You then need to collect four pieces of wood and some coal, and put them on your crafting table. Play any Britney track backwards three times, blindfold yourself, jump in the river, and post the result on YouTube. That won't solve your problem, but it will give us all a good laugh. Then take it back to the shop, who will give you a RMA. Cut the RMA into a pentagram, and pin it to your wall. Make a silly post in the "Wuts Dat" forum, explaining that you are "testing your multi-user media player". Finally throw away your C5 and buy a pair of trainers -- far better exercise and no heavy batteries to lug around :)

Yours whateverly,Melissa wooity (ex-co-sysop, MicroLive BB)

P.S. At least there's a pause button now!

P.P.S. Be careful when nuking wasps in the microwave; consider the SWR :D

I don't know what's going on. It's 4am and I'm tired. there was a minecraft reference, so I'm pleased. damn cats won't stop meowing, and I dislike it when they walk in front of me while I'd destroying shit. but I like catsso I'll feed them a fish and they'll breed, and I'll be like oops.

uhm.

Dare unicorn,

I was wondering if it's possible to be a unicorn and a pegasis at the same time. I think the queen might be one, but I'm too lazy to check. I haven't brushed my hair in at least 5 days. I think i shall sleep now.

with well wishings,a shuppet.

Maybe I'll change this every time I get online:I no longer work for an evil corn corporation.

We were just counting forum reads (for testing purposes) as a sort of "air check".And remade some old accounts we deleted about a year ago :DYay for redstone and boo for the yukky green exploding creeper things...