Day: March 5, 2019

Cheryl was not the brightest bulb in the box. She wasn’t even the dullest star in the night sky. Everything in her life had to be spelled out for her in clear, unmistakable terms. Even the Grim Reaper had to spell things out for her.

Main engines still not online. Engineering is no closer to finding the cause of the malfunction. I fear for our crew’s sanity if they do find a solution soon.

Ensign Cooper was found playing naked ding dong ditch in the residential sector and thrown in the brig until he can come to his senses. Counselor Wilson now believes she is a fairy godmother. Yesterday, she attempted to recreate Cinderella by shoving Miss Flora into a pumpkin. It did not turn out well. Chef is still scraping pumpkin innards from the ceiling.

I do not know why command is not responding to my distress messages. I can only hope help comes soon.

Doctor Axiom stared at the naked man sitting on the floor speaking into a slipper and shook his head.

“Any change?”

“No, nurse.” Doctor Axiom’s gills shimmered in the lights. “He has been here three months. The others acclimated to their new environment already.”

The nurse frowned and looked at the patient. Her magenta hue lit the room with her worry. “You’re not suggesting we put him down, are you?”

Doctor Axiom looked at her and sighed. “It would be for the best. Isn’t that what the humans would call merciful?”

“But, Doctor –“

“Fine,” Doctor Axiom raised a fin. “I’ll give him another week. Let’s home there was no damage when we rescued them from the black hole.”