Last week I had decided to try to do something about asylum seekers and the upcoming winter. Rather than get on a plane and travel to Europe, and incur the wrath of family and friends, I looked for ways to help here.

I came upon a local organization in Denver: the ACC, the African Community Center. They are a sister organisation to the Ethiopian Development Council founded in 1983 as a response to the Ethiopian famine, and a warm and welcoming center for refugees and asylum seekers. Please see http://www.acc-den.org.

Today the world around me and the mood about refugees and asylum seekers sadly seems to be changing and not in a positive way. I think about my own family arriving in the USA in 1961, where we were received with open arms. Or my grandparents escaping hunger in Ireland and arriving in Buenos Aires in 1889 where they were warmly welcome. And the many who came through Ellis Island to seek a new life and found it in the loving arms of this incredible country.

So I have to admit I am a bit shell shocked by last week's horrible events but even more by the backlash in the US. Just a few minutes ago, the House approved tougher screening for certain refugees, when our screening process is the toughest in the world. But I will not allow violence and terror to confuse me, make me afraid, or have me believe that one refugee is different from another.

If this is the new normal, then the poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty needs to be done away with.

But don't worry: I am not giving up. We are all victims of terror if we step back in fear, in anger or in despair.

I think we can do something here and I am asking for your help: ACC in Denver is in need of some items, namely children’s winter coats, used or new, new children’s shoes, and car seats for babies. Also, dry foods such as rice and beans.

Would you look in your closet and in your pantry? I did, and was not surprised to find “too much” everywhere I looked. I counted five or six winter coats, and heck! I am kid size so off they go!

I can be the collection point and easily pick up any extra items you want to donate. If you have no “in kind” donations, I can take monetary donations through my paypal account (pampaslil@hotmail.com) and shop in the local thrift stores.

Please consider even a small, recurring donation. I was the CFO of a huge non for profit and our biggest source of funds were very small recurring donations from grandmas all over the world who contributed as little as $10 a month. Please don’t back off because you think ten dollars is nothing! And remember that if you work for a corporation with a matching gift program your donation is doubled.

This world is one. We are all the same. We are at war, a war against all that is decent and loving and compassionate. A war against the very fiber of humanity. A war we must win because our enemy favors prejudice, because it assumes it is their way or the highway, and because it does not consider the evils committed by both sides.

We are a beautiful kaleidoscope of people. I am proud of my background as an immigrant of Irish Italian Argentine heritage. I love the jig and spaghetti and empanadas, and still have the same hope in my heart that I did when I landed in this great country in 1961.

I have always celebrated birthdays, loved birthdays, loved to embarrass my kids and myself at a restaurant by blowing out candles. Make special cakes in the shape of anything the kids ask.

Tomorrow is one of those special days. Was. November 18, my mother’s birthday. The first after her death. I am on quicksand here, not knowing if it is a special day anymore. Because she’s not around, flashing her smile, acting surprised that you remembered, opening the box with the silk scarf.

Many people wish their loved ones Happy Birthday in heaven. I just don’t know about that. Mom always said that every day was Mother’s Day, dismissing the “Hallmark Day”. So I say now that you’re gone, every day is your birthday. Every day is a day to celebrate your life, your influence on all of us, the mark you left, the things you taught us and all of what you left behind that we continue to practice and pass on to our children.

a tender frost that came stealthily in the silence of the nightby the light of Venus

a tender frost

the grass feels cool to the touchimmune protectedand my steps make a crunchy soundunderfoot

the orange leaves in fronthave taken a whole new huetranquiloapagadoless brilliantmore quietas if surrendering to the snows to come

i wish for a tender frost to cover my own heartmake it less redapagadomore quietsurrendering to the snows that passed

i wish for my heart to stop bleedingfor my mom’s deathfor little Maya’s scary birthfor my kids' painfor little Linden's premature deathfor the immigrants and the homelessfor the hungry and the elderlyfor those who are dyingfor new loveand for old love

i wish for the frost to stop my tearsand the dreams that wake me up at nightin fear