Search

My Other Blog

My NYT Bestseller!

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Ashley R. is the one who makes all the "cool" cakes for her friends' birthdays, so when it came time for her own birthday her friend Kat decided to order her a "super spectacular" professional cake. Kat gave the baker this photo of Ashley's favorite band, Panic at the Disco:

...and she asked that the cake look like lead singer Brendon Urie(2nd from left).

Now, this can't be the best photo of Urie out there - I mean, he's gnawing on a bunch of flowers - so you have to pity the baker a little.

If you're like me, you're not going to be able to tear your eyes away from this thing for a while. That's Ok, though; I'll wait.

[whistling]

Poor Kat had the cake delivered right to Ashley's door, so she didn't see it herself until after she arrived at the party to find everyone backed wide-eyed against the walls in a defensive line. Then, when they tried to cut the thing, they found it was covered with rock-hard rice krispy treats and tasted bad to boot. Still, all was not lost: Upon discovering that the mouth and nostrils were hollow, the party-goers amused themselves by sticking stuff in them.

Ah, Ashley, it's nice to hear your friends are my kind of friends. I'd have some red licorice strips up those nostrils faster than you can say "deranged man found beaten to death by his own hand".

This past week I read a story on how rapper Kanye West is a "proud non-reader" and, despite the fact that he recently wrote a 52-page book of "Kanye-isms" that he would like you to buy and read yourself, he has "no respect" for books. Or to put it in his own words,

"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph."

That's good, Kanye, since it's a right pain to get a book to even hold a pen, much less autograph itself.

Anyhoo, after banging my head against the desk and weeping for future generations, I decided that today we should celebrate those authors and illustrators who made (and make) reading so much fun during our early years.

[swooning] Just lookit those teensy little feet! And how perfectly the greens swirl together!

This adorable cupcake mosaic (not a cupcake cake, now, a cupcake mosaic) has been submitted by about a billion readers, but I do believe Rachel K. was the first. It was made by the stupendously talented Coco Cake Cupcakes, who is also responsible for this guy: