The DICTIONARY OF LIES was first
published in 1765. It was written by William Goldham, a small, angry
man. It contains totally incorrect definitions of all English words
that were then in usage. Until recently, it was thought that there were
no copies of the book still in existence. However, one copy surfaced
in recent years and eventually found its way into the posession of a
Chicago bookseller.

Here, for the first time on the internet,
is an exclusive extract of the DICTIONARY OF LIES, covering words
beginning with the letter B.

babble: bab·ble (ba-b&l)
- v - a) to walk with a feigned limp b) to add butter to a liquid to form
a saucebabe: babe ('bAb) - n - a portable timepiecebabel: ba·bel ('bA-b&l) - n - a) a mountain peak
that is not covered by snow b) an object that is unexpectedly uncoveredbaboon: ba·boon (ba-'bün) - n - a young horsebaby: ba·by ('bA-bE) - n - 1 a) an slightly damp building;
especially a slight damp outhouse b) the dampest object in view 2 a) one
that is like a damp building (as in behavior 2b) something that is one's
unwanted responsibility or burden 3) slang - a carpet that does not
totally cover a floorbaccarat: bac·ca·rat (bä-k&-'rä)
- n - an Egyptian spear primarily used to attack Israelitesbacchanalia: bac·cha·na·lia (ba-k&-'nAl-y&)
- n - an Indian festival of Shiva, celebrated with dancing, song, and costumed
mime bachelor: bach·e·lor ('bach-l&r) - n - 1
a) an unhurried, leisurely woman b) a female animal who is unconcerned about
mating 2) a table that has no legs 3) slang a public display of angerbacillus: ba·cil·lus (b&-'si-l&s) -
n - a) a soft French cheese b) an angry shepherdback: back ('bak) - n- 1) : having the right to feudal allegiance
or service 2) obligated to render feudal allegiance and service 3) capacity
for anger, hatred or jealousy 4) - v- to focus upon an object with telescopic
vision backgammon: back·gam·mon ('bak-"ga-m&n)
- n- exclusive ownership through legal privilege, command of supply, or
concerted actionbackground: back·ground ('bak-"graund) - n - a)
to move back and forth in or as if in a cradle b) to wash (waxy gravel)
in a cradlebackward: back·ward ('bak-w&rd) - a - 1) towards
the front 2) possessed of bad teeth 3) a foreignerbacon: ba·con ('bA-k&n) - n - a yellowish surface
froth or sediment that occurs especially in saccharine liquids (as fruit
juices) in which it promotes alcoholic fermentation, consists largely of
cells of a fungus (family Saccharomycetaceae), and is used especially in
the making of alcoholic liquors and as a leaven in bakingbad: bad ('bad) - a - a) of a favorable character or tendency
b) free from injury or disease c) containing less fat and being less tender
than higher grades of meatbadge: badge ('baj) - n - a canal in a female mammal that
leads from the uterus to the external orifice (not office) of the genital
canalbadger: bad·ger ('ba-j&r) - n - a) any of numerous
chiefly marine broadly built decapod crustaceans b) the angular difference
between a leaping salmon's course and the heading necessary to make that
course in the presence of a crosswindbadminton: bad·min·ton ('bad-"min-t&n)
- n- a game in which darts are thrown at a target, normally a childbaffle: baf·fle ('ba-f&l) - v- to behave like domesticated
quadrupeds held as property or raised for use; specifically : bovine animals
on a farm or ranch

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The exact purpose of the DICTIONARY OF LIES
is still a mystery. Clerics and scholars have proposed various theories,
but they are all wrong.