Hey, Seattle, you just gonna sit there and take this?

First, I have to admit that The Oregonian’s John Canzano is one of my favorite sports columnists.

Now let’s prove him wrong, shall we?

Canzano stoked the flames of this week’s Seattle Sounders FC vs. Portland Timbers rivalry game with a column about Paul Allen’s divided allegiance between the two cities, poking fun at our fair city to the north by making playful assertions such as:

It’s been said that Seattle hates Portland. Probably for having better restaurants and more sunny days. Also, for having an NBA team. Also, for less traffic. Also, because Portland has smarter, more attractive citizens, and also, Nate McMillan.

All facts.

And:

I’ve heard the difference best described like this: My human friends live in Portland. My Internet friends live in Seattle.

Them’s fightin’ words, right?

Well, how about us Internet nerds up here come up with some Portland trash talk of our own? Post your best Portland disses in the comments section, and we’ll publish the best — and most appropriate — ones.