Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Howard: Wow, so you guys are like buds now?Raj: Oh, yeah, we hang out all the time.Stuart: Plus, he doesn't have a girlfriend, I don't have a girlfriend.Raj: It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.Stuart: That sounds a little funny to an American ear.Raj: Which part?Stuart: Just all of it.

Bernadette: Why are they staring?Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, boys.Stuart: Oh, hey.
(To the other customers) Could you please stop staring? They're just girls. It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.Penny: Hey, Stuart.Stuart: What brings you guys here?Bernadette: We were looking for a recommendation about comic books.Stuart: Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them.Penny: No, we were just wondering why the guys like this stuff so much, so we thought wed give it a try.Stuart: Oh, okay. What do you think you might be into? Superhero, fantasy, graphic novels, manga?
(To the customers) I swear I will turn a hose on you.

Sheldon: You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want. It's exhausting!