Love Star Wars? Then plan on hating the next trilogy

By
Jeff Edelstein, The Trentonian

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Hurricanes, presidential elections and nasty nor’easters were the three things that got in the way of me being able to write about the most important non-serious news of the year: The return of “Star Wars.”

That’s right. There’s going to be three more “Star Wars” movies, another trilogy, all taking place sometime after the events of “Return of the Jedi.” As a huge fan of the original trilogy, I can say the following with full confidence: I hope these next three movies suck womp rat.

Yep. Just as I was mostly disappointed with the prequels, I kind of hope I’m equally disappointed with this next batch of movies.

I’m about to enter some heavy territory here. I loved the first three movies. Saw them as a kid, obviously. Had all the action figures. (Never had the Millenium Falcon, a sore spot to this day.) Had the bedsheets. Had the lunch box. Had the Halloween costumes. Had the Han Solo blaster. Had it all. I was a major, major, “Star Wars” fan as a kid.

So when the prequels finally came out (the first one was in 1999), I was primed for them. More excited than seeing Princess Leia in a slave bikini at age 12, to give you some idea. I went to the midnight showing of “The Phantom Menace,” remember the giddy feeling I got when the lights went down, and then … well, then I spent the next two hours or so trying to convince myself I actually liked the movie. Things didn’t get any better in the second prequel, “Attack of the Clones.” By “Revenge of the Sith,” my expectations were lower than R2-D2’s third leg. As a result, I was OK with that film, especially the last half-hour or so, when things got all dark side.

But even all that was a little … cartoon-y. Especially the anguished, “NooooOOOOO!”Darth Vader screams when he finds out Padme is dead. What should’ve been the emotional center of the entire six-movie run felt more like an emotional hole. I remember people clucking their tongues as the scene played out. Disappointing, to say the least.

But here’s the thing: Talk to any 10-year-old today who has been exposed to all six movies, and you know what? They think all of them are gee-whiz swell. They don’t see a difference between the films. They’re all “Star Wars,” and they’re all great. You know why? Because the movies are, and were, designed for kids. You think our parents thought the original was a good movie? Maybe they were dazzled by the then-crazy special effects, but as a movie? Kids fluff.

And that’s why I want to feel all “meh” about the next trilogy. I hope Disney doesn’t turn these into “adult” movies. I want my kids, and my kids’ kids, to see all these movies as a whole.

In short, I don’t want “Star Wars” to turn into the Batman franchise. I don’t want adult themes and dark and brooding and everything all grey. I want good vs. evil, black vs. white, simple as that.

And that’s the question, as a “Star Wars” fans, we’re faced with. Do we want this to be an adult-themed reboot of the series, or a fluid continuation of what may be one of the greatest kid/young adult storylines in — literally — the history of humankind?

I know where I stand. Keep it for the kids. Just give me a few lightsaber battles and I’m happy enough.

Read Jeff Edelstein every Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He can be reached at jedelstein@trentonian.com, facebook.com/jeffreyedelstein and twitter.com/jeffedelstein.