Saturday, December 1, 2012

The 12 Days Of Christmas

Christmas is the most vulgar and gluttonous days of the year and that is
why we fatlings love it. The very symbol of Christmas is a fat man who
spends the whole night going from house to house and eating cookies.
This make Christmas the fat friendliest holiday of them all. OINK! It's a
glorious celebration of greedy gluttony

$easonsGreedings From Bigger Fatter PoliticsKeeping with holiday tradition I, Fat Bastard would like to present to our readers my fat friendly version of theTwelve Thirteen Days of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me.
As our many millions of readers worldwide know, my true love is food so
I decided to rewrite this traditional holiday classic to be more
glutton and fat friendly. I hope you enjoy this along with your figgy
pudding and sugar plums as you celebrate this most greedy and gluttonous
time of year...... OINK!

The Twelve Days of ChristmasBy Fat Bastard

On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear sauce.

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two Doves chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French ticklers,
Two Doves chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four apple pies,
Three French ticklers,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries and French ticklers,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce
.On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Rings Ding Jr's,
Four apple pies,
Three French ticklers,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove Chocolate Bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine fat lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove Chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten chefs a-chefin,
Nine Lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers pissing,
Ten Chefs a-cheffin,
Nine lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jr,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve deep fried drumsticks,
Eleven pipers pissing,
Ten chefs a cheffin,
Nine lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Rings Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove Chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce!