Have you ever felt used, abused, taken advantage of, insecure? Chances are we have all felt that way at one time or another, especially in childhood. I grew up with very little—if any—self-esteem, and yes, I was walked on—and over—many times. I gravitated to folks similar to me. One of my first boyfriends was a wonderful guy who would give you the shirt off of his back, and never ask for a thing in return. And everyone took advantage of his generosity and kind spirit.

Being known as Mr. Good Guy may work for a while, but it certainly cannot last forever. At some point, even the most generous of us will finally say, “Enough!” Chances are, when that does happen, things have come to more than enough, and we are at our wits’ end trying to decide how to get on with our lives and assert ourselves.

How much of a spine—or backbone—do you have?

To answer that question and determine where you stand and what you need to do to get out of your own way, ponder these questions. Respond honestly.

Is the whole world out to get you?

Do you moan and groan?

Do you worry too much about what other people think?

Do you avoid taking a stand?

Are you easily distracted from your goals?

Do you avoid all risks, even small ones?

Do you control what you will do each day, or do others control you and your behaviors?

If your responses are anything like mine were at one time, it may be a good time to grow that spine, get a life, and move on! There’s no time better than now!