Without wishing to get too spiritual, the addiction to which you refer to, the "rushes" if you will, are available to you without the external
construct of circumstance. Whet defines that state as you yourself expressed, is a high level of awareness which is present in that moment ...
between the call and the arrival, during the "action," the mind is fully focused on the present moment and all external noise, thoughts,
past/future, are absent. It is the purest form of just being. And it is an invitation ...

For you are not a man of violence, you're a man amongst violence.

And that is always available to you without having it be subject to the capricious frequency of external events. That is to say that even as the
vehicle for this feeling of aliveness, your job, ends ... the door is opening for you to be the source of that life as opposed to the consequence,
like an addict who no longer needs the drug to free themselves of their self.

It will be alright ... you are a man of high virtue, principle and compassion ... it will be alright.

Super there is no question about it. You were born, a man of violence sure, but also to be a radio commentator. Your message sounded heart felt,
deep and real; I can imagine many many people responding to your voice. Your voice is wonderful. Think about having your own radio show; you have
the voice for it. As a man of violence, which is something that comes from too deep inside to disagree with, you can understand others with that same
streak. You could also counsel people, do community work. You have a great deal to give above and beyond your current circumstance. Congratulations
on a moving and truly wonderful podcast.

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