Currently – 9/12/19 (Weekend, Rest?, Time)

Today was the last day of my class for the week. We have four days of class then three days off. That sounds nice but the work load is pretty brutal. Next week I have something due every single day. By Monday I have to finish around twenty seven pages of work so… ya. But I’m going to try to stick with it because something good can come of this.

I’m not really sure how I’m going to balance out my time. I already know my own limits and if I don’t have some time to unwind I’m not going to be able to keep this up. Tomorrow I think I’m going to spend some time unwinding. Mostly I’m just going to do some extra hygiene stuff like a face mask not to mention sleeping in and cleaning up my room some. I’ve done some of the homework so its not like I’m doing this completely from scratch. Though I have to be careful not to get in a habit of laziness again or I’ll end up slacking off too much.

My mind does feel more active as of late. I had a real passion for the medical industry and study of medicine when I was younger so it just feels like all of this is coming back to me. I’m coming out of my shell somewhat, actually participating in class and asking questions. Right now I understand the material fairly well so my only real problem is the application when I’m finally forced to put what I’ve learned into practice. I always had a problem of falling apart under pressure so if I can’t control that then this will end up failing no matter what.

I think I just need to budget out my time sensibly. After I get back from class all I really want to do is just lay down and turn off my brain. I think its these uncomfortable chairs we’re forced to sit in. I spend most of this class fidgeting in a failed attempt to find a decent way to sit. My back, legs and arms all hurt from doing this for around seven hours a day. Not to mention having to wake up extra early so I can ensure I’m getting to the class on time.

I feel like I need to know my limits here. Can’t move forward if I’m constantly worried about being broken. That being said I will take time to rest when I can. I need to push but not at the expense of my body. I’m fairly young and there’s a bright future ahead of me that I want to experience and it would be very difficult to do so if I’m not physically able to do so. I’ve got so much I want to do.