As I sit here on day four of post-surgery recovery, I’m tired but I’m so grateful for some of the little things, like taking a hot shower (alone), shaving my legs, going pee like a normal person without a catheter attached to me and the texts, calls and meals from family and friends.

I’m grateful for my husband who took over all the household duties and selflessly cared for me, which included emptying my “pee bag” and holding it while I took a shower; for my children who were so sweet and caring (and quiet) when I first came home from the hospital; for the first nurse I saw as I came out of surgery who happened to be a friend from my recovery program who kissed my forehead and reassured me everything was okay (definitely a God shot!).

I’m grateful for the message I received today from one of my doctors telling me my results were benign. I’m grateful that I could take my pain medication as prescribed and have no desire to take more than I needed, which can be a major issue for those of us in recovery regardless if we were previously addicted to them or not.

I’m grateful for my God who is with me in not just the good times, but the times when I’m scared or uncertain of what’s to come. Who gives me strength and peace in knowing that His will for my life has already been determined. I am not in control.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this blog. As you may have noticed, I haven’t been writing as much lately. I’ve felt a distance growing, which makes me think it’s time to bring this chapter to a close. Maybe I’ll start a new blog that focuses on something different. Maybe I’ll just focus on life as it happens.

I know this; my main focus is being the best mom and wife I can be. My sobriety has made that possible. My children are getting older and I want to be present for every moment possible.

More than anything, I want to focus on those little things that often get overlooked in our efforts to always be “doing” or “going” or “making.” I feel the need to be still.

Glad you’re on the mend, my friend. And yeah, we move onto different chapters in our lives. Many people find a certain release in blogging (or other things, for sure) and then when that part is satisfied, they move on. I do that as well, and it does feel bittersweet to move on from something that served me and no longer does, but in the end it’s what feels right, what God nudges us to do. So if and when you move on from here, let us know! I’ll keep following 🙂

Chenoa, I still have your “I need a break” facebook post in my favorites bar. I have reread it a handful of times since I found it several months ago. That post along with this one and many others all show me that you are tuned into being present. I cannot help but admire and encourage that. Thanks for sharing today. I’m feeling a bit tired and overwhelmed with the summer and blogging is on that list, too. I’m going to take your post as the affirmation I need to rest from this for a few weeks and let myself be present. Being flexible and open to change in our own favor is important. When we’ve been dependent until addicted, I think we learn to feel these edges coming on – we’ve already been to them, passed them and back – sensing these and sensing just basic closures and transitions is a hard earned skill – a sign of grace and wisdom, I think. Well done and praise be!

I’m so glad your surgery went well and that you are recovering. If I were your geographical neighbor, I’d bring you a stack of favorite magazines and a couple of books off my shelf with some chicken velvet soup. Yum.

Since I’m here and you’re there, just know I’ve prayed for you. Your family has had a lot of physical hurdles this year along with your normal and then all those other things going on that don’t make it to our blog content (for good reason!). I’ve found that physical struggle along with everyday life challenges really reshapes my views of God and family and what really matters. It’s been a pleasure to read this refinement and courage and focus in your own words.

It’s good to hear that you’re recovering well and I can see how you’d want to sit in the stillness after what you’ve been through. Your gratitude is inspiring. I’m on my 2nd blog so I know it’s possible to change direction and express different parts of yourself (my first blog was anonymous and solely about sobriety). Whatever you do, I love your voice, Chenoa, and I hope you keep writing.

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Mom, wife, writer, aspiring DIYer and seeker of simplicity. I write about faith, food, family, sobriety and life on our small Oregon farm. My writing comes from my heart, transparent and honest, just as I aim to live my life today. In sharing my story, I hope you find inspiration to live your most authentic and joyful life. Thanks for stopping by!