Grief So Silent

Please, there is no need to self-identify, because most who have endured many things but do not don’t hesitate to share what they feel they have not completely managed.

The problem here is much of despair can’t easily be spoken about. It leaves the frequent person feeling uncomfortable, aside from the fact that the grieving person doesn’t need to expose themselves emotionally . It’s simpler in many ways to deny what is clearly clear; to keep moving forward.

The future can often stay clouded by it.

Another matter can be increased:

The initial loss event is not always

The most traumatic part of despair.

I know so many individuals who weren’t so much traumatised by their first loss experience, but were really traumatised more by how they were dealt with, whether it be the clichéd opinions from folks who should know better, or by a response or lack of reaction from people they’d come to trust.

Sometimes it’s the stress within the family environment which causes the household to implode. Things said in the heat of the moment, or maybe something well intended but poorly communicated. Tenuous relationships become fractured because smaller more tolerable conflicts that happened previously, but were not dealt with, show preexisting cracks inside the connection.

Whether it be the internal conflict

Of being unable to reconcile the reduction,

Or external conflicts due to misunderstandings,

And often a combination of them.

Add to this, battle we could have with God –

That He could’let’ something like this happen!

There’s a silence in grief that’s deafening in its harrowing quietude. So many individuals suffer in silence. So many people can’t get the recovery that they could do with. And so many households continue on this winding road of malfunction because truths of fact can’t be spoken of as truths of expertise.

Somehow there’s grief, and quite a lot of it, that can’t be discussed or processed or expressed. Sometimes people would participate in counseling, but are put off by the price, whether it be financial or psychological or time or other.

My spouse and I am currently preparing to present in a Silent Grief convention where the focus is on precisely this topic: the despair that’s not generally spoken about. The grief we’re expected to proceed from. The kind of grief that does not rate much of a mention since it’s so relatively common, or worse, since there’s profound shame attached to it.

It’s precious in our view

That we’ve had the experience

We never needed to lose him,

but…

We genuinely saw God moves in many, many ways, not least by the prayers of the faithful, and also the testimony of our faith at the moment, even as we witnessed it .

We found that God used Nathanael’s life,

While he never breathed outside the uterus.

And yet, just like possible, I feel guilty for speaking about it too much, despite the fact that that has not stopped me. I know some folks will be thinking that.

But There’s no overriding drive in me to think for the needs of this woman and man who need space for their voice; people who want to be heard; or just those who want to be acknowledged:

We wish to say, your despair matters.

That it’s incredibly significant.

That you are allowed to feel gutted,

And, that you are permitted to feel recovered.

We never need to suffer in silence, but inevitably we do, since this world thrives on success stories and doesn’t appear to enjoy stories with a lousy ending. There’s an exception to this, of course, once the bad ending can be redeemed. And that’s the reason grief has to be a subject we can speak about, because processing our despair is the best way to redeem what God has for us because we’ve suffered.

There are no wrong or right ways for managing the truth in our despair.

The grieving person needs to hear it is normal to grieve, just as it is normal for the sting of loss can not fully reduce, and that it takes guts to find open emotionally.

They must also hear that there’s hope beyond the intensity and immensity of despair; that reduction is an essential component of the growth procedure.