Failure As A Mother

I have wanted to write this post for a while. It will be a little of a ramble – I kinda feel like a failure as a mom. Not really – let me explain. Eric and I are not the tallest people – so it is no wonder that the twins as not large in height or weight. Something I have not told you guys is how little they are. I always chuckle when I get the comments – WOW they are growing so big. In reality the twins have not really grown in months – like at all.

Both are in 9 months clothes ( they will be 18 months) and will be in 9 month clothing for a while longer. If we want the best fit realistically ( this is in Carters sizes) – Lawson would wear 6 month top plus 3 – 6 month pants and Gwendolyn is 6 – 9 month top with 3- 6 month pants.

Example : Lawson is wearing 3 month top with 3 – 6 month pants and Gwendolyn is in a 9 month dress. Now I am not worried about them health wise – they have tons of whole milk ( with breast milk), balanced diet, and tons of exercise. This is my problem – it is not really a problem but something that bugs me. It all started when a friend of mine had a baby about 3 months ago. She wrote a post on Facebook and her baby is weighing in at 15 POUNDS and measuring ahead in height!!! The twins just hit 20 pounds a month ago. Beyond that she talked about how strong he was. Basically saying weight and height = strength and health – discussing how she was a great mom because he was excelling.

I read this Facebook update and it has bugged me daily for weeks now. Not overly bugging but it made me think – did I fail my kids in some way? We are trying the hardest we can but weight had never stuck to these two ( but they always gain what they need to per their doctor) – not sure why they do not grow at a faster rate – I am assuming it must be genetics.

In the end I am just a little bummed out plain and simple. I keep feeling like I did something wrong 🙁

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Comments

Becca

ALL parents feel like they fail their kids in some way. Don’t worry about their growth. They will grow when they are supposed to. Don’t compare. Comparison is the thief of joy. Your kids are healthy and no one knows that better than you. What another person’s child does is appropriate for that child. What your children do is appropriate for your children. DONT WORRY!

SUE

All kids grow differently at different rates. Please don’t compare yours. You had a completely different experience than your friend. All moms have doubts, but you are doing fine.
When they get older, some kids will be better in sports or music or art or whatever. Yours will have their own skills. Stop worrying and enjoy them as they are! And maybe block that bragger!

Kristina Best

All babies grow at a different weight. I babysit my cousin’s daughter who will be 3 in January and she wears 24 months. My youngest son was similar to the twins. He is now a big 12 yr old. I think as long as they have a balanced diet and the doctors are okay with it then I think you guys are doing awesome.

Ara

I know exactly how you feel! I have boy-girl twins currently 11 months who were also preemies due to preeclampsia and an emergency c-section. They were both around 5 lbs at birth, in Special Care for 2 weeks. Breastfeeding was a struggle at first but we got the hang of it and have been going strong ever since. They’re healthy and happy. But it used to kill me when people would comment on how little they were, even after they started getting chunky. My twins are actually great in terms of weight but are still a tad short. But as twin moms we have to remember our babies has a different experience and we can’t compare; the blessing is they’re healthy, and we’ve surmounted enormous challenges as their moms. In the end twins are special—and lucky to always have each other!