1) An eighth, a bong, a lighter: apply liberally.
2) Take the opportunity to renew your attendance at your favorite flavor of church.
3) Dinosaurs!
4) Rum and Coke
5) Kill the person
6) Remember the hot hot sex that you had constantly. With them. And how life was perfect. With them.
7) smelling the clothes you 'forgot' to give back!
8) Casual sex with someone new. Bonus points if it's in the old person's bed. Extra bonus points if it's on the old person's back.
9) Leaving the fridge empty as you move out.
10) Sleep with their best friend. :shocked:
11) Streaking... (only sexy ppl should try this... and pm me for the location you should do this.
12) Drugs
13) Write a poem/short story/song/novel about them. (one of my friends suggests killing the ex at the end of the story, but I'm really not that kind)
14) Go out dancing
15) Flirt with members of your preferred sex.
16) Fantasize about having them bound and at your mercy.
17) Get a new haircut.
18) Get a new outfit.
19) Get a manicure.
20) Get a massage. (Preferably by a hot massuese)
21) "Run into" the ex wearing new hot clothes and having new cute haircut and looking all fine so they can regret not being with you anymore a little bit.
22) Loud Angry/happy music.
23) i once dated this girl, girl 1 we'll call her, who left another guy(who was really horrible to her at times) to be with me. when she split from him, he asked her to hook him up with one of her hot friends in this popular local band.

this other chick in the band wanted nothing to do with the guy.

well, a couple of months later when girl 1 decided dickface was indeed the man of her dreams and went back to the dickface, (12) i promptly had wild and crazy sex with that hot chick in the band on several occasions, a fact which was not kept secret from girl 1 and dickface.
24) Prozac
25) Half a fifth of bourbon
26) Months of misery
27) Revenge sex
28) Arrange for the ex's new 'thang' to get sexed ... and caught by the ex.
29) If it works for you, revenge sex with the ex's new 'thang'.
30) Porn.
31) After I got divorced, I had more than one person quietly offer to give my ex an address that was six feet BELOW the ground. I told them please not to do so, as it would probably look really bad for me and I'd be implicated.* But it was a nice thought.

*Oh! And it's like.. totally evil and wrong and stuff.
32) shrug
33) Erase all traces of the ex from your personal effects. Photos and letters should be burned, stuffed animals destroyed, jewelry hawked. Block all e-mail addresses, messengers, and phone numbers associated with the ex.
34) Make a list of all their Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Attributes.
35) Listen to the Bloodhound Gang.
36) Play "psycho"...stalk, dial-n-hang-up, obsess, etc. This will get it all out of your system in one go (theoretically).
37) I can't go on; I'll go on.
38) Make a list of all the things you can do now that you're not with them. (My roommate and I did this together at the end of her last relationship.)
39) Fire.
40) stalking
41) if a while has passed, google them and hope that ill has befallen them (just did this the other day with one of my exes, and while she had won some award for her work with solar panel engineering or somesuch, she had really unflattering pictures posted online as a result of that, which sated my shadenfreude nicely)
42) Watch as they descend into a life drug dependancy, sorrowful depression, an on-again off-again destructive multiple-partner relationship. All from the comfort of LiveJournal (theoretically).
43) write little horrible limericks about the person.
44) Move Interstate... I've only done it twice.
45) Read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
46) Tend tulips.
47) Go to the shooting range and try out the .38 Special.
48) Ice Cream.
49) When you're tired of the .38, try the... you get the picture.
50) L&O marathon. 'course, that's my answer to almost anything...
51) Take up collaging.
52) ice cream, and lots of it. (it really does deserve mention twice)
53) Go back to the rave scene and get yourself a gothier chick this time.
54) Making a huge load of that dinner that you love but your ex couldn't stand
55) Cry over the things that used to bug the everloving shit out of you.
56) Get over the crying and continue to be bugged by the little stuff.
57) Realize that there was no reason for you to be together in the first place. (This has happened at least once.)
58) Look up an old fuck-buddy.
59) Go dancing.
60)throw everything they ever gave you/left at your house and all writings, photos, etc into a several large boxes and leave on their front porch.
61) write a long letter in which to vent, thinking at one point towards the end that this isn't exactly something anyone should ever have to read no matter how badly they fucked you up, then give it to them anyway.
62) stop sleeping and eating.
63) call them names in public.
64) go insane with jealousy. drink yourself into oblivion. break your hand punching something.
65) sleep with the one girl she truly hated and make sure she finds out.
66) "fall in love" with someone completely inappropriate, like the 21 year old catholic girl who is waiting for her boyfriend to move into town so they can get married and have a family.
67) sleep with the girl who gives out free cigarettes.
68) sleep with anyone who will look at you twice.
69) find a great new job.
70) become a crack head.
71) actually fall in love with someone worth your time, like the gorgeous, intelligent and wonderfully nice phd student who has liked you all those years you weren't available.
72) be unable to stop using drugs, thus over the course of several months fucking up this incredible relationship in exponentially worse ways.
73) lose that great new job.
74) crawl into a hole.
75) go to rehab and try to make sense of your life.
76) rediscover old friends. get a job. act normal. throw yourself into productive activities. be social. stop screwing random girls.
77) realize one day that you've forgotten what or who the reason was for the events of the past two years.
78) realize a second later that, no, you didn't really forget.
79) realize you still aren't happy, still lead a loveless life, still are drinking yourself into oblivion.
80) on a sunny, late summer afternoon your roommate comes home and informs you that he just saw so and so at the grocery store. a few minutes later you find yourself talking about her incessantly. you catch yourself. you go upstairs and crawl into bed and stare at the ceiling. forever.
81) Anger
82) Create a voodoo doll in their likeness.
83) Stop calling.
84) Don't answer their calls.
85) When you see them in public, smile. (this is extremely infuriating)
86) Get a better relationship.
87) Go on vacation (preferably somewhere warm)
88) Plant drugs on their person/place of residence. Call cops.
89) If your feeling vindictive, and have the oppertunity to contact them, give them the no hard feelings, lets be friends, meet for dinner speech. Set a time. Don't show up.
90) If you find out that they have been cheating, wait, patiently, like a spider. Wait until it is really big day for them, engagement party, prom if you're in highschool, birthday, whatever. Then dump them as coldly as humanly possible, making them a big weepy mess and ruining everything. Leave with another girl/boy (preferably someone prettier than the crying mess you have just left on the floor).
91) Finally and this is the best option, actually begin a friendship with them (your lack of a friendship was most likely the reason you broke up in the first place).
92) If you get a second chance to sex them, do it, but don't try to restart the relationship, at least off the bat.
93) or so) happened to a friend of a friend: he, an adult, didn't realize initially that she was seventeen (she concealed this fact). they moved in together. one day, they broke up. She, still seventeen, called the cops. PWNT!
94) 69) 69
95) get really drunk at a party. then, when they try and feel you up while simultaneously cussing you out and pushing you, hit them in the face. then, kick them down a hill and leave their crumpled body for someone else to find in the morning. bonus points if they puke on themselves!
then sleep with their new girlfriend cause she is hotter than you, and that's okay.
96) start a journal with no mention of the person whatsoever.
97) Rationalize that your relationship failed for a reason. Attempt to assess said reasons, readjust your perceptions as necessary to make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes again.
98) Read a story about a very squirrelly attack
99) {really} shrug
100) giving it time.
101) Waking up the next morning as if you had never before.
102) Denial.

NOT JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT, HURR HURRRRRRR
103) Get a friend and a pair of grappling gloves and a mouthpiece.

Commence some full contact sparring.
Punch, kick, grapple, chocke until one of you give up. Repeat until you either get hurt or too tired to continue
104) Take off the blinders/colored glasses/whatever and see them as they truly are.
105) Chose to believe in karma.
106) Sprint, sprint as fast as you can. Sprint until you are so exhausted that you collapse. Then go without sleep for days, constantly studying anything, even the dictionary. Find your old fuck buddies and talk to them using only words that start with s, q, i, and t. 100 points if you get laid.
107) An economy-sized tub of lotion and a year's worth of quality porn_________________bi-chromaticism is the extraordinary belief that there exists only two options
each polar opposite to each other
where one is completely superior to the other.

Last edited by kame on Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:17 am; edited 1 time in total

this list needs cleaning up. for one thing, 'read the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy _must_ be number 42. there are several versions of revenge sex, if those are consolidated, that might get it back to the right number._________________aka: neverscared!
a flux of vibrant matter