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Do You Wanna Take An Ambien?

Funny things happen to a brain around 3am, especially when your kid has been on a Frozen kick, and you’ve been listening to the songs on repeat for 2 straight months. Any adult who has lived through an Arandelle addiction can attest to how the songs go from pretty to psychosis-inducing at an alarmingly rapid rate. Since convincing our kids to listen to anything else is the definition of impossible, as the song Do You Wanna Build A Snowman asks, what are we going to do? Write a parody, naturally.

Do You Wanna Take An Ambien

(Cough, cough, twitch, snore, roll, sigh)

Do you wanna take an Ambien?

You’ve been working hard all day

You never sleep well anymore

Close the door

Come on let’s sail away

Sleep used to come so easy

But now it’s hard

I wish someone could tell me why?

Should I maybe take this Ambien?

It doesn’t have to be an Ambien.

Okay it does, I lied.

Do you want to take an Ambien?

We could sleep walk to the mall

Or shave the cat and make some tasty food

I have a liverwurst and some milk from my boob

We could roll it into balls-

(No seriously, try it!)

It gets a little boring

Just laying in bed

Watching the hours tick by

(Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock)

Do you wanna take an Ambien?

It’s a legal way to get high.

Sleep?

You fickle little rat turd

Why have you bailed on me again?

They say “take melatonin” and I’ve tried that, too

It tastes like licking a poopy shoe, so I threw it in the bin.

I need you sleep, now more than ever

I miss your embrace

What are we going to do?

Do you wanna take an Ambien?

To which the only answer would be a resounding, “HELL YES!” If only I wasn’t pregnant…