Thursday, May 23, 2013

Share Your Strength. What Songs Inspire You?

By Bob Carolla, NAMI Director of Media Relations

I always hesitate to write about music. It tends to date me. My kids roll their eyes whenever I mention the 1970s, let alone folk rock. In the car, there’s a constant battle over which radio stations or CDs to play.

Every now and then, however, there’s a song that resonates and bridges the generational divide. These days, the song is "Carry On" by the band fun. It strikes a chord somehow with teenage angst and inspires my own kids to rally forward.

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

“Carry On” strikes a chord in me as well, rooted in past battles with depression. Its message is an exhortation, a call to arms and an affirmation of faith. It also has caused me to remember the song that touched me when I was 16 years old—long before I learned that my moodiness was only a hint of worst things to come. Arlo Guthrie sang Somebody Turned on the Light, which is partly about coming of age in the tumultuous decade between 1961 and 1971.

When the world is wrong better right yourselfIt'll make the dark clouds flyNobody tall can put out the lightsJust don't let the spirit dieIf you never see the sun till '91Don't you ever give up the fightSure be glad when you see the dawnSomebody, somebody turns on the lightSomebody turns on the light.

Other songs reflect the same theme. In 2001, Gospel singer Yolanda Adams’ "Never Give Up" was a call for personal perseverance, but also provided encouragement and hope to a stunned, grief-stricken nation after the terrorist attacks of 9/11.

An important distinction is that such songs are inspirational in nature, encouraging listeners to draw on inner strength. They don’t wallow in sadness or pain. I’ve always liked Gilbert O’Sullivan’s “Alone Again (Naturally),” but face it, the fact that in the lyrics, he is on his way to throw himself off a tower doesn’t do much for inspiring a person to hold on.

From a biological perspective, music can calm stress and elevate mood by increasing levels of serotonin or dopamine in the brain. Music can literally lift and energize a person’s spirits, helping to overcome anxiety or depression.

Tunes and lyrics also stir memories. Music from a pleasurable time and place can therapeutically put people living with depression “back in touch” with important parts of themselves, helping to pull them out of isolation inside their own minds.

Thirty years ago, I was struggling with depression, unemployed and disconnected from most of my friends who lived in other cities. Turning points in my recovery came when a close college friends stopped for a night en route from Vermont to Michigan. As we talked into the night, he put one of my records on stereo—Abbey Road by the Beatles—which we had listened to many times together several years before. One song was particularly apt:

Here comes the sunHere comes the sun, and I sayIt's all rightLittle darlingIt's been a long, cold lonely winterLittle darling It feels like years since it's been here

In that moment I realized that it had been over a year since I had listened to music for music’s sake. It had been part of my withdrawal from the world and suppression of my energy and strength.

I love "Reach" by Orleans from their Waking and Dreaming album: "you got to reach a little bit higher when the light within becomes a fire..." That really inspired me when i decided to go into the mental health field. Good for them!

I was listening to and looking at the lyrics to Billy Joel's River of dreams. Then I wrote my own version about the Rivers of life. The words to his song is below. It makes mine make more sense if you don't know the words read his lyrics first.

Wooo hooo you gotta just jump in and swim it. Cross that wide river and grab the lost parts from the jungle on the opposite shore. Don't stay in the valley you will never make it to the river or to the other side. It isn't the promised land. It is "a land". You cross that land to another river. Don't hesitate just jump in and head for the next shore. Keep swimming and finding what you lost and moving on to the next river dive in and repeat. You find the good in the valleys jungles and deserts. You leave stuff in the river as it washes you and you come up for air. You keep kicking and swimming, searching and finding. Then you move on and jump in the next river. Each crossing gets easier until you get it down. Then you come to a wider river with a stronger current. You wade in this time learning some caution about just jumping in from getting your but kicked by previous rivers. You kick and swim, sometimes you feel like you will drown. So you kick harder. You make the opposite shore and keep on moving. You walk across the land and you get tired. You come to another river and you stop a moment, you take a breath and you dive in praying you have the strength to make it. Then you discover that you are stronger too. Not just the current is stronger but you are stronger. The river throws a few rapids in and you kick through them and bob up on the other shore. Sometimes you get out there in the middle and you don't know if you can make it. You don't know if you have the strength to kick. You think about just giving in. That is when you look around and see you are not alone. You give a few more kicks and you reach an angel that helps you to the next shore. You climb out and keep on going.

So true -- I too stopped listening to music as depression worsened. It brought up more emotion that I could handle. My brother wrote "I Hope You Dance", another life-affirming song; and my granddaughter's show choir used the theme of moving from uncertainty to joy, with "Carry On", "Life is a Highway", "Hey Jude/Let It Be" and "You Can't Stop the Beat". Music is good for the soul.

So true, Bob. I am sometimes totally transformed by a song that randomly pops onto the radio. With the kids I seem to have mutual "theme songs" we share - with the 22 year old it's the Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way." Can't hear it without thinking of preteen girls singing it at the top of their lungs in the back of my van, and it makes me remember when she was still a child. Anything by Jackson Browne takes me back to my own years of depression and the way his lyrics would give me some sort of hope or sense of purpose. Thanks for sharing this!

Very nice article. One song that comes to mind for me - is Valerie Carter's cover of 'Ooh Child'.(It was also part of the soundtrack for the 1979 film, "Over the Edge".) I'm always amazed at how certain songs or music can have such a powerfully uplifting effect on a person's mood (especially when going through a rough period.) Thanks for writing about this topic.

1. Blackbird by The Beatles..."take these broken wings and learn to fly." This is exactly what I did last year. I dedicated my life to Recovery, a stay at McLean, a move 14 hours away to Boston and getting a full time job.

2. Fearless Love by Melissa Etheridge..."I want a fearless love, I won't settle for anything less." I want this for myself and I deserve it. This is what I need to remember through the hard times.

3. A New Day Has Come by Celine Dion..."Let the rain come down and wash away my tears. Let it fill my soul and drown my fears. Let it shatter the walls for a new sun. A new day has come." Everyday is a new chance. A chance to learn, grow, and move on in life and recovery. A new day to be thankful.

There are so many more but I feel these are the exact songs for my life.

I have a good many that lift me but a few of the are: You Raise Me Up, Blessings, Cry Out To Jesus, Do I Make You Proud, and when I am extremely depressed I play the song How Do You Get That Lonely which makes me reminds me that I need to talk to people and let them know how I am feeling so I don't get worse. There are many others but those are the only ones I could think of.

I have a couple of Barry Manilow songs that are my go to for positivity... I Made It Through The Rain (an anthem for survival in spite of odds and circumstances) and Come Monday (a song about taking control and making positive changes in your life... starting over).But I also like to listen to Blue October, and love the songs Jump Rope and For My Brother.

I've written an anti-stigma song that I hope provides people with mental illness some inspiration to live in the face of significant stigmatization. You can see a video of me performing the song live at the 2010 NAMI-VT Walks event here:

http://youtu.be/PX3wnP4tpxM

Here are the lyrics. If it helps even one person, I'll know I succeeded.

** I Refuse It **It's not wrong if I can't improveMy thinking or my moodIf I'm crashing

It's not wrong to be illAnd have to take twenty pillsIf I want treatment

It's not likeI ever got to chooseSo I'd likeJust some basic courtesy from youThis stigma - I refuse it

It's not wrong I was once in crisisAnd I listened to my peers' adviceIt made me safer

It's not wrong that I missed work'Cause it kept me from being hurtBy this illness

It's not likeI ever got to chooseSo I'd likeJust some basic courtesy from youThis stigma - I refuse it

I refuse the myths and fablesI refuse insulting labelsI refuse the blame for violenceI refuse to be kept silentI refuse to be exploitedI refuse to be avoidedI refuse to be called lazyI refuse to be ashamed

It's not wrong to be sickEven if I don't realize itI'm no less a person

I don't need you to play saviorOr pass judgment on my behaviorIf you can see my dignity

My favorite when it comes to my kids, one of whom suffers from bipolar and schizoaffective disorders is "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders. It may have been written with a lover or spouse in mind, but I've always thought of it as a mom's anthem.

After over a decade taking what I was told (anti-psychotics), hiding my brain disorders from others and myself, I woke up. The song reminds me of all that I lost with my willfull ignorance... And kicks me in the butt to learn as much as I can and never fall into the trap of apathy (regarding all aspects of my life).0

I always thought the lyrics from Johnny Nash's song "I can see clearly now" could be sung after my brother Mike recovered from his severe schizophrenia. 47 years later, this has not happened. Our only hope is that Mike will be our own special saint in heaven. When that day happens, we can all sing:

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,I can see all obstacles in my wayGone are the dark clouds that had me blindIt’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is goneAll of the bad feelings have disappearedHere is the rainbow I’ve been prayin?forIt’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)Sun-Shiny day.

"I’m not saying that I’m giving upI’m just trying not to think as much as I used toCause "never" is a lonely little messed up wordMaybe I’ll get it right some dayFor the first time in a long time I can sayThat I want to tryI feel helpless for the most partBut I’m learning to open my eyesAnd the sad truth of the matter isI’ll never get over itBut I’m gonna tryTo get better and overcome each momentIn my own way"

You Should CareMy son is so inspiring with his gift of song writing. This is just one of his songs. He has a mental disorder and he achieves so much in his life. I am so proud of him, his strength and his gifts. http://soundclick.com/khalilzahir

For me it has to be "I can see clearly now" by Johnny Nash, and I second Anonymous on "Let it be". But I must acknowledge the power of "Jesu, joy of man's desiring", "Sheep may safely graze", and "Wachet auf", all by JS Bach--can't live without them.

Music can truly be a healing balm. One of my favorites is The Rolling Stones' You Can't Always Get What You Want, But Sometimes You Get What You Need. When I think about things or relationships I've lost due to my mental illness, the song reminds me to dwell in acceptance and to be thankful for the wonderful people and things I now have in my life.

My two go to songs for positivity are I Made It Through the Rain (an.anthem for surviving no matter what) and Come Monday (changing your circumstances and starting over)... both are by Barry ManilowI also like Jump Rope and For My Brother by Blue October.But, I truly love music... regardless of artist or genre and it has been my solace and, at.times, my escape when life has gotten a bit to difficult to handle.

Rest your headYou worry too muchIt's going to be alrightWhen times get roughYou can fall back on usDon't give upPlease don't give up

'got to walk out of hereI can't take anymoreGoing to stand on that bridgeKeep my eyes down belowWhatever may comeAnd whatever may goThat river's flowingThat river's flowing

Moved on to another townTried hard to settle downFor every job, so many menSo many men no-one needs

Don't give up'cause you have friendsDon't give upYou're not the only oneDon't give upNo reason to be ashamedDon't give upYou still have usDon't give up nowWe're proud of who you areDon't give upYou know it's never been easyDon't give up'cause I believe there's the a placeThere's a place where we belong

Thank you so much for starting this message of using music for lifting us up. I was in an aubsive relationship and when I finally was albe to get out of it I used Shania Twains.. Black Eyes Blue.. me and my girls had it full blast singing at the top of our lungs. The other I used to help me get clean off meth.. Moving On by Rascal Flats.. both of these songs will remain in my life.Thank you againCarrie Jo

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:"Why am I doing this to myself?"Losing my mind on a tiny error,I nearly left the real me on the shelf.No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,It's okay not to be okay.Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,Just be true to who you are!(who you are [x11])

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah!The more I try the less it's working, yeah'Cause everything inside me screamsNo, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,It's okay not to be okay.Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,There's nothing wrong with who you are!

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,It's okay not to be okay...Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,Just be true to who you are!Yeah yeah yea

and Anna Nalick- 2am Breathe

"Breathe (2 AM)"

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyesLike they have any right at all to criticize,Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cableAnd life's like an hourglass, glued to the tableNo one can find the rewind button, girl.So cradle your head in your handsAnd breathe... just breathe,Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.No one can find the rewind button, boys,So cradle your head in your hands,And breathe... just breathe,Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be outAnd these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them againIf you'd only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a songIf I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,Threatening the life it belongs toAnd I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowdCause these words are my diary, screaming out loudAnd I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,And life's like an hourglass, glued to the tableNo one can find the rewind button nowSing it if you understand.and breathe, just breathewoah breathe, just breathe,Oh breathe, just breathe,Oh breathe, just breathe.

Both describe letting your feelings out and being yourself, while knowing that it will get better and it will be okay, even if its not right now.

My song is "Fade to Black" by Metallica. Although this song is dark, it depicts what someone like us feels and the writers appear to know how agonizing it must feel to be at rock bottom. And so just having someone singing something that you feel makes you feel more understood such that you're not the only one and someone else understands you.

"Life it seems, will fade awayDrifting further every dayGetting lost within myselfNothing matters no one elseI have lost the will to liveSimply nothing more to giveThere is nothing more for meNeed the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to beMissing one inside of meDeathly lost, this can't be realCannot stand this hell I feelEmptiness is filing meTo the point of agonyGrowing darkness taking dawnI was me, but now He's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too lateNow I can't think, think why I should even tryYesterday seems as though it never existedDeath Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye"

After I listen to this one I shift to Kickstart My Heart from Motley Crue to energize me and get me out of my funk

Peter Gabriel's "Solibury Hill" gets me teared up in a good way all the time:

"Solsbury Hill"

Climbing up on Solsbury HillI could see the city lightWind was blowing, time stood stillEagle flew out of the nightHe was something to observeCame in close, I heard a voiceStanding stretching every nerveHad to listen had no choiceI did not believe the information(I) just had to trust imaginationMy heart going boom boom boom"Son," he said "Grab your things,I've come to take you home."

To keep in silence I resignedMy friends would think I was a nutTurning water into wineOpen doors would soon be shutSo I went from day to dayTho' my life was in a rut"Till I thought of what I'd sayWhich connection I should cutI was feeling part of the sceneryI walked right out of the machineryMy heart going boom boom boom"Hey" he said "Grab your thingsI've come to take you home."(Back home.)

When illusion spin her netI'm never where I want to beAnd liberty she pirouetteWhen I think that I am freeWatched by empty silhouettesWho close their eyes but still can seeNo one taught them etiquetteI will show another meToday I don't need a replacementI'll tell them what the smile on my face meantMy heart going boom boom boom"Hey" I said "You can keep my things,they've come to take me home."

The first song that came to mind is "Let it Be". I think its kinda cool so many others agree. Another song that always makes me smile and sing really loud is Queens "Bohemian Rhapsody" I know the lyrics are a little dark but who can listen to it and not want to head bang?:)

"Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel, "I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash, and "Sunshine on My Shoulders" by John Denver have always been some of my faves. More recently, I have found consolation in Coldplay lyrics, "Fix You":

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed; When you get what you want, but not what you need; When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep; Stuck in reverse

"And the tears come streaming down your face; When you lose something you can't replace; When you love someone, but it goes to waste; Could it be worse?

"Lights will guide you home; And ignite your bones; And I will try to fix you

"And High up above or down below; When you're too in love to let it go; But if you never try you'll never know; Just what you're worth

"Lights will guide you home; And ignite your bones; And I will try to fix you..."

Move Along- American Rejects because it pretty much sums up what I and my brothers and sisters in and out of hospitals around the world do every day:

So a day when you've lost yourself completelyCould be a night when your life endsSuch a heart that will lead you to deceivingAll the pain held in yourHands are shaking coldYour hands are mine to holdSpeak to me

When all you got to keep is strongMove along, move along like I know ya doAnd even when your hope is goneMove along, move along just to make it throughMove along

"After All" by Dar Williams, a song about her overcoming depression that ends with a beautiful image of a sunrise.

Also "Home" by Meg Hutchinson, who lives with bipolar disorder. She also has a song called "Gatekeeper," about a patrolman on the Golden Gate Bridge who has talked people down by simply asking "How are you feeling? What are your plans for tomorrow."

The miracle of all this music is that it lets you know you're not alone in your struggles.