Need advice. WWYD?

I accepted a job in October. It is in a different area of the country to the one I live in. I was going to relocate to be with a partner.

Since then, my relationship has ended and a close relative is seriously ill. (It has been a great end to 2017.)

Obviously, the professional thing to do is go ahead with the job and I was going to even when things ended with ex. However, my relatives illness has put another spin on things. Our parents are dead. This will fall on my shoulders and I feel very unsure about leaving.

Should I contact the school and explain the situation ... what should I do? Normally I feel very confident in my decisions but I feel very uncertain and anxious right now.

getsome, I would let the school know as soon as possible that due to unforeseen family circumstances you will unfortunately be unable to take the job. Really sorry etc!!!!!And tell present school you will be staying. Sort it before the schools break up for Xmas!You would be totally unreasonable to take the job, (for no reason now, anyway) and then on top of that, leave behind a relative who has discovered they are ill. No brainer really, I would say...Btw hope 2018 treats you better!

I was thinking of emailing and explaining circumstances have dramatically changed and while I am happy to keep to my side of the contract and then potentially leave at Easter it might be easier and more conducive to not start at all. I really really don’t want to be disruptive to staff or children. Just don’t know what to do!

Your circumstances have dramatically changed and you cannot take the job. There would be nothing professional about starting a job and resigning on the first day. What would you do for one term which would be useful to the school?

The professional thing to do would be to call the head, apologise profusely, and explain what has happened. They will be annoyed but get over it quickly.

That way they can arrange supply teaching while urgently looking for a replacement.

You may find that you are liable to pay for supply to cover your new post until the school can appoint someone else. You’ll also find that your reputation in that area will be shot through so you need to be sure you won’t want to work there in future.

It sounds like because of the change in relationship status you would not want to move there in the future. Irrespective of your ill relative there was already little reason to now move. I would check with your current school if they will keep you and if they will then email the new head to explain why you can't go. It sounds a new post in an area you don't even want to be in would only add to your load.

Yes, but I am giving them the option, Carrie ... I will start, but I think it might be easier for both parties if I don’t so coming to a mutual agreement rather than ‘I’m NOT going’ - do you see what I mean?

It's only a job at the end of the day, family is much more important. I say ring the Head and talk to them about it. If possible I imagine they'd rather hire someone who will stay, rather than take you on knowing you'll leave at Easter.

Like I said, I really hope the new head is understanding, but you may need to prepare yourself for some financial cost - the school shouldn’t have to pay out because you have changed your mind (even for a perfectly understandable reason).

You're not being helpful CarrieBlue.You're talking out of turn as well. I think you should keep your guesses at how the new head will react or what financial costs could be incurred to yourself.Have you an axe to grind or something?dYou are very, very negative.

I’ve known it to happen - with respect, pretending that you know the new head will say it’s ok, we can do without a teacher we’ve been planning for since October is as much a guess. As I said, I hope it will turn out that the head is understanding and doesn’t enforce any penalty, but the op should be aware of all possible consequences. I’m not sure how that is out of turn.

Op, I really do hope that you get a satisfactory resolution, and that you can concentrate on your family which is always the most important thing.

Pottering, OP said that she was sure that her current school would be glad to keep her. So I presume that we have to take her word on that, although you could ask her if she was sure about what she had said.