Continuing from my previous writing, I knew there was something critically important I was forgetting at the time: EXCUSES!
They surface from our thought patterns to our lips with lightning speed as a crutch for why we cannot be what we need to be or do what we need to do. Excuses exempt us from what we do not want to do. Excuses are empty, some call them cop-outs. My Pastor teaches, ‘excuses are filled with corruption’. The point is they lead to no where, no success, no progress, nothing. Excuses only limit us and defeat us.
This year I have had to fight past excuses (not always successful), fight past the “I can’t do it”, “I look awkward”, “I’m too thick for Yoga”, “I’m tired”, “I’m the oldest on this floor (in this room)”, “I’m too old”, “No one welcomed me”! Then there is the beast on the floor, someone running past me along my walk, or spinning like the blades of a fan in front of me. Yada, yada, yada.
Excuses are endless, relentless, they link together like a chain to choke the life out of you.
Excuses choke possibility.

Excuses are the pseudo voices that justify why we cannot or will not do (because we don’t want to) what we need to do.
‘Fear of failure’ is so huge. I have written about it before, https://simplyphenomenal.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/quitting-before-you-get-started/
Imagine the rich experiences and opportunities that we miss because we never start, never take the first step or initiative to see if we can succeed. We are no better for it. We just remain in the same stagnation. That surely is not the abundant life.
It is not until we break free of our fears and excuses, that we realize we can succeed enough to stretch and pursue more.
To be more, to do more, to have more, to live more.
Most of our dreams are beyond our reach and require us to risk tripping, falling, failure or rejection to attain them. It is then, ‘in order to succeed, our desire for success must be greater than our fear of failure’. (paraphrasing Bill Cosby)
My wellness/fitness journey has been and continues to be one of overcoming, choosing every day to stay the course, to push through stinking thinking, push, fight, push, fight. Keeping the set goals forefront in my mind, visualizing the finish, and finding a way to get there.
I know excuses will not get me there. My desire for success is greater.

This writing is a response to an inquiry someone made to me about my wellness/fitness journey. I started it to reply to her directly, but decided to blog it and share it with everyone. I know much of it is being restated from previous writings but in case you missed it before, here it is again.

Praise the Lord, Sister …
First thing is you have to change your thinking, really make a decision to commit to the WORK. I must say too, you don’t realize it until you actually start the journey.
I have written about my journey on my blog, http://www.simplyphenomenal.wordpress.com … look through some of my writings this year.
I started with the 21-day Daniel Fast. I did not do it as a spiritual fast but as a jump start to my weight loss and it was the motivation that I needed to continue. I recommended getting the book because it has devotions for those 21-days that will help your mindset which is VERY IMPORTANT. After the 21 days, I continued eating the way I did while on the fast, [called the Daniel Cure], it was working for me (no meat, chicken, dairy, processed foods, sugar, etc).
I changed EVERYTHING because #1 I was experiencing success and #2 I was determined.
Also, most importantly, I COMMITTED TO ONE YEAR … it is not something you can do in a short amount of time.
Making short-term, realistic and achievable goals will help you maintain your motivation.
Also, important, is accountability, fine someone or people who you will be accountable to … in addition to wanting to encourage others with my journey on FB, is that it makes/keeps me accountable … I know people are watching, but they are also encouraging and cheering me on.
At first I just changed my diet and I had some success. Then I realized it was not enough, I HAD TO EXERCISE.
I enjoyed Zumba so I was doing that periodically. Then I went to a Health Fair and came across a walking program so I started walking again. I pretty much started with 1 mile, now as you may have noticed on a distance walk I can do 6-7 miles (even with a torn menicus in my knee).
So, I changed my MIND, changed my DIET, started EXERCISING, then you also have to build a COMMUNITY of people who will counsel you and motivate you … Fitness Trainers do that. So I started going to fitness classes, I like group classes doing different workouts and learning what I need to do to reach my goal. You MUST surround yourself and interact with people who will HELP YOU, TEACH YOU, MOTIVATE YOU, BE AN EXAMPLE.
So as you can see, it is no play thing. TIMING is of the essence, you have to be ready … I was fed up with the way I looked and felt. Also, EDUCATION & INFORMATION … I also connected with a Health Coach/Nutrition (actually blessed through the Wellness Program at my job) to learn about health eating. I have also learned a lot just my searching and googling the internet. I get smoothie recipes, etc. from the internet, even FB … you can search for just about anything on FB just like the internet.
It is an investment of time AND money (which I would spend on other things any way).
COMMITMENT to yourself and your goals, not anyone else (your husband, anything or anyone) … you have to do it for YOURSELF!
You have to make a decision, set a long-term goals, set short-term goals and strategies to achieve your goal(s), and then get to work. When you put the time and effort in, you will achieve results. It will not be drastic, it takes time, you have to give it time and you have to be CONSISTENT and COMMITTED to the promise you make to YOURSELF.
I cannot remember how much I lost after the initial 21-day Daniel Fast (in a previous blog), but it was the most weight I had lost in 30 yrs and it was the motivation I needed to continue.
Over the year, starting with my diet, then to walking, then I kept challenging myself to do more, so I made a commitment to MYSELF to do something/an hour or more of exercise every day (inspired by the girl who went to the gym 100 days, http://youtu.be/I5FkshLcNLQ). I keep evolving to stay motivated and to experience new things (What I have done this year: Walking, Zumba, BOKWA, R.I.P.P.E.D., Bootcamp, Yoga (not a fan, ijs), Body Toning, Diet/Nutrition, Personal Training, my latest adventure is Spinning)
Every time I reach a short-term goal, I set another one: 3 lbs, 5 lbs because that is easier than 10 lbs or 20 lbs. My ultimate goal is 100 lbs which I’ve been advised may be too much but we will see. I know it will take time, probably longer than my initial commitment, but I’m COMMITTED to MYSELF to keep chipping, squeezing or melting the fat away.
I am nearly 9 months in, having lost 44 lbs my last weigh in. Every day is not perfect. Some days I make blunders (sweets), but I don’t give up, I put on my big girl pants, check into warrior mode, and I get right back in the game because of the commitment I made to myself.
Finally, this has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life … I am not there yet, but I know I will get there. [tear]
I owe God great praise, He is my HELP!

I chose my seat, the same seat, in a group session at work, where I am the only African American in the room. I sat in the first seat near the speaker to be sure I could hear her. Nearly fifteen other people sat at that table 3-5 seats away from myself and the speaker. Even when they were prodded by the speaker to move closer, no one did. It gave me the feeling I didn’t belong. I still am a bit bewildered by it (knowing it wasn’t my hygiene), but I literally have no clue.

It is a dark, lonely place where we feel we don’t belong.

It can be a dangerous place where we feel we don’t belong.

It is a place that compromises our wholeness where and when we feel we don’t belong.

This quote, though, from Ansa puts the responsibility of belonging into our own hands.

“Claim what is yours. You belong any where on this Earth you want to.” ~ Novelist Tina McElroy Ansa quoted by First Lady Michelle Obama (Spelman College Commencement, 2011)

Here, Dr. Maya Angelou further enforces it, “You only feel free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place …”

We belong ‘every place’ so we must claim our place, our belonging.

It is a challenge when we feel like we don’t belong. To find ourselves always on the outside looking in, trying to fit, wanting to be accepted, needing to belong.

We must choose to belong. Many environments and situations are out of our hands but we must not let them frame our entire sense of belonging. We must find the place we want to be and include ourselves through our sense of purpose, abilities and contributions to be apart, to belong. When we get out of our comfort zone, make new discoveries and enjoy the things we love and are passionate about, we make our own place to belong. We must decide not to be controlled by the opinions, perceptions, judgments, prejudices or indifferences of others, instead we must choose to belong.

It is my choice. Stretching myself beyond myself makes place for me to belong. When I use my giftedness in a place, for a cause, in a group, I make my own place to belong.

Even when I may not feel accepted, when I claim what is mine, I belong.

I’ve done so much.
I’ve come so far.
Then the reality test of whether your commitment is greater than the novelty of when you first began.
Mind games.
I recently had a consult with a personal trainer, two as a matter of fact. All of my success was smacked in the face with real numbers of my BMR (basal metabolic rate), BMI (body mass index), fat weight to muscle weight ratio, you’ve been doing well with this, but you need to incorporate this, your goal will take this much time and more commitment is needed in this area. All good to know, but it echoes ‘not enough’.
Working out, pushing myself, stretching myself, embarrassing myself, fighting.
Mind games.
A plateau, not necessarily a weight loss plateau, but a mental plateau.
Mind games.
Throwing a wrench into my gears, locking and pulling at my resolve.
I’m there. On a plateau of performance anxiety, perfectionism, irresolution.
All the encouragement I hear, why isn’t it enough?
Meltdowns at the thought of not succeeding, seeping into my determined core. I fight back the tears, I won’t be defeated.
Mind games.
Yes, I said it before (wrote about it too, https://simplyphenomenal.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/fight/)*, I know it is true, this is a spiritual battle, not just a physical one.
So, here I am, at a place, needing God to elevate my mind to yet another, HIGHER plain.
This writing is definitely for me, I’m writing through it, writing for a breakthrough.
Seven months into the journey.
I’ve done so much.
I’ve come so far.
I’m more than a conqueror through Him Who LOVES me.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
With God, all things are possible.
Adopting this …
‘We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought (mind games) and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.’ – 2 Corinthians 10:5 (MSG)
WARRING WITH HIS WORD.
I WIN!

*I find it so interesting that the link I referenced to a past blog post, I wrote on the first day of my journey … God took me back to where I began to speak to me now. Love Him for that.

We gather once a week to write for five minutes on a prompt. No editing, just raw and real. This week’s prompt is LOST.

For so long I was LOST in a quagmire of excuses and defeat. For at least thirty years (after birthing babies) I lost the weight loss battle time and time again. But that was then and this is now and this is not a writing of what used to be.

I’m winning now! Having LOST more than thirty pounds over the past 24 weeks, I have much to be thankful for, much to celebrate, and still a ways to go. [Photos: January 2014; June 2014]

It was beyond my reach, beyond my ability to believe enough that I could do it. I was so afraid of failure I wouldn’t even try. Fear will do that and it never goes away. At every juncture of a new challenge or commitment I’m fighting through fear but with a new perspective. Because it is every fear we look in the face and defy that brings us closer to the achievement of anything we desire in life. It is the small victories that empower us the more. I have a goal-driven tenacity that pushes me to stay true to my commitment to myself.

[So I’ve lost track of time and expect I’ve exceeded the five minutes for this writing.]

But I’m somewhat of an ambassador now and I want everyone to achieve the goals that I have achieved and more. I want a crew in this with me fighting and winning this battle together.

If you’re reading this and you feel like you’re sinking in a quagmire of defeat, fight!
No. 1, pray and trust God like you do for everything else in your life.
No. 2, change your thinking, change your speaking, change your behavior … Change.
No. 3, take the first step, strategize for success, set goals, focus on your goals, make a plan, work your plan.

“Without weight loss goals, and diet and exercise plans to reach them, you are lost with no direction.”~ Felicity Luckey, Great Minds Think Fit

No. 4, if you get knocked down or pinned to the ropes, don’t be defeated, get back up, get back in the fight.
No. 5, give it your all, stretch yourself, try new things, you’ll discover you can do more than you ever imagined.
These are a few starter tips to inspire you – from me, an ambassador … Who knew?!

The winter of 2009 I sat and listened to the teaching of Evg Dawsolene Burrel at the Sisters in Fellowship Women of Excellence Conference. The title of her presentation was “Excellence In Maintaining the Temple”. It pricked me to the core, the insights she shared about maintaining our physical temple. Several of us pledged that a year later we would be different, we would be better, we would apply the teaching of discipline and sacrifice to achieve our desired goals.

Like so many other times, I didn’t fulfill the pledge that time either. I had heard, read and consulted with others time and time again – I knew what to do, but doing it was the challenge. Timing is everything. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Fast-forward, the winter 2014, MY time!

Today, marks six months since I began my ‘Anew Life’ journey. It started with a 21-day Daniel Fast, January 5, 2014. The fast, for me, was not specifically for spiritual growth although it’s spiritual concepts greatly enforced my personal goal. My ultimate goal was weight loss. Fortunately, the benefits of the fast were not one dimensional but enriched my life in so many ways. The success I achieved in those 21 days has literally changed my life. More than the physical that I sought to achieve, I have gained so much more.

So today, I pause to celebrate and give thanks for the journey thus far, not finished, but a benchmark to reflect and propel forward.

When I needed to buy size 20-22 dresses and didn’t want to see myself from behind, that was the ‘fed up!’ point for me. The structured and supported plan of the Daniel Fast was the intervention I needed as well as support I received from others. To lose those first inches and pounds was so rewarding and motivating … There is no greater motivation than achievement.

Today, six months later, I have lost 34 lbs and I am down 2-3 dress sizes depending on the style and designer.

Additionally, I am committed to the fruitful performance of my goal every day by exercising and healthy eating.

Since the fast I have continued to eat a plant-based diet and seafood, only special occasion sweets (except for mindless treats from time to time). When I get off track, I just get back on. I still have to discipline myself about my Starbucks indulgences. I’m proud of myself and my husband is proud of me too … Yay! Every time I pass up something unhealthy to eat, I do a fist pump inside for ME! Every time I finish a workout (even if I’m flailing around like I have no clue), I do a fist pump inside for ME! I celebrate every VICTORY!

Goal-driven, I make a decision EVERYDAY to win, to finish, to reach my goal.

A local trainer calls his fitness studio, No Fat Birthdays. Well, being very transparent and honest, I don’t want to be the fat girl. In order for that to happen, I have to work. Work my mind and work my body. It still scares me. I’m 56 years old! Can I do it? Will I make it? Will it last? But everyday I grow stronger and stronger. Everyday is filled with promise of Yes, I can. Yes, I will.

Oh yeah, I have Boot Camp tonight!

“Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” ~ Psalm 103:1-5

Today, my Sister taught a lesson entitled, “Dancing In Purple Stilettos” (Psalm 137:1-4). (It is a copyrightable piece-classic. By the way, you should invite her to teach it.) It is an eye-opening lesson about “sister-assisted transformation” taken from the characters and nuances of the book-adapted to film, “The Color Purple”. This is my second time hearing it and I have come away with something different each time.

Her key points, followed by my nuggets.
#1 Change your attitude about your life experiences.
Don’t be bound by your life experiences. Do not give your voice away and do not let anyone take your voice.
#2 Open your mouth.
When you’re wounded, you won’t care or give a second thought about wounding your sister. (Celie told Harpo to beat Sophia … What the world?! Because that was her frame of reference from her own life experiences.)
When there is an infraction or conflict, the way to respond to it is to go to the source …. Sophia went to Celie, spoke of the significance of what she had done and exclaimed her response to it (All my life I had to fight …) That forthright communication changed (transformed) and established a sister-assisted transformation, relationship and understanding. There was no speculation, just a straight-forward meeting of the minds.
#3 Have integrity and do what is right in whatever situation.
(Live out your God identity every day of your life, never compromise who you are) don’t let any life (past or present) experience, man, family, failure, nothing make you lose or devalue your personal worth or your Christ identity.
#4 Forgive unconditionally!
(Learn to accept the apology you never received).
Your sister is not your enemy. Forgiveness is a movement toward the point when offenses no longer have an affect on you.
Don’t let your situation name you or define you.
#5 Laugh out loud! … (I missed the rest)
Some things in life, the tricks and traps of the enemy are so ludicrous, you should just go into a hysterical insane LOL. Release the toxins in your spirit by opening your mouth in praise or a soul cry to God, a wail or unceasing knock that will command His attention and favor … He will answer.
#6 To get delivered, you have to get fed up with being bound up!
When you get delivered, your sister will get delivered too. Someone (maybe a whole ministry or community of people, your family or your household) may be tied to your deliverance. Get delivered! Stay delivered!

Then, ultimately! like Celie on the porch in the final scene, with all the characters with her or in view of her PROMISE, take that Frankenstein walk toward your promise, because what you see, you cannot believe it is finally here, in your view, in your grasp. See your promise!!! Take hold of it. Live in it!
(You’re FREE, do not be bound again!)
Then take your dance with God in your purple stilettos.

Shaving Mister …
My ultimate takeaway was that Shug was running (sacrificing herself for her sister) to save Celie, her sister, (not Mister). When we get to the point where it is more important to protect and love each other than it is to wound, outshine and dismiss each other, WE will be so much more empowered as a collective body to do damage to the kingdoms of this world and to be effective change agents in every setting of our lives.

Fear of failing held me hostage for an eternity. I finally realized it was just an excuse (filled with corruption). The battle is in our minds, right. That’s a lesson we know all too well. The voices and ‘stinking thinking’ that derail our efforts and successes shout so loudly that we shut down under the weight of contemptible excuses.
This writing is just a response to the voices and ‘stinking thinking’, SIT DOWN AND HUSH!
My sister-friend said she is withholding from beginning a healthy eating discipline because she fears failing. My Bishop Charles William Watkins (In Heaven) always taught us, “You’re never a failure until you stop trying.” But what if you never even TRY?!
I can only share my own experience of my still unyielding battle with healthy eating choices and weight loss. So many other things in life too, fearing I would not succeed so not even trying. Fortunately, though, I’ve enjoyed some successes just by taking the first step.
I finally went to the dentist after nearly half my life to rid my body of toxins that could kill me. That was a life-changing experience for me. Oral health and a never-before seen beautiful smile that increased my confidence and self-love. Then I applied to college at age 50, enrolled in my first course, pursued my undergraduate degree, completed my B.A. and walked across that stage at age 55 with all the memorable Pomp and Circumstance … a dream realized for myself.
But this weight! It seemed insurmountable. I read what to do. I knew what to do. I went to Zumba. I consutled with a Nutrition Coach. But mostly I kept eating poorly (cake and potatoes several times a day), exercising sporadically (not really) and drinking wonderul delicious lattes … because I feared failing. I’m convinced too that there are underlying constructs that feed into our food dependencies. (That’s a subject for another writing.)
My time came though, this year!
I decided at the beginning of the year, this would be my year. I asked what am I going to do this year, what am I going to focus on and the response was ‘Me’. The Daniel Fast was still a thought looming in my head from last year. I bought the book, read the book, but I didn’t do it. This time (timing is everything), I was fed up with how I felt, how I looked, the whole dilemma. January 5, 2014 was my day, the Lord has and continues to be my guide and strength and I haven’t looked back.
“Faith is taking the first step when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
EVERY DAY, I’m taking first steps.
Do it with me, squash the fear.
Just by taking the first step, you already WIN!
#winning

My Son-in-Love said the most profound thing the other day …
We were driving home and his baby daughter, Astrid, was crying so her Mom offered her a potato chip.
Her Dad said to her, “Astrid, don’t feed your emotions with food.”
She’s only 16 mos old but that lesson, even now while she is young, is a critical one that I can relate to. He offered some alternative ways she should comfort her emotions but that statement was like a sonic boom to me. What a great lesson. I pray he keeps teaching her and she learns it well.
I know I’m an emotional eater. Eat when I’m happy, eat when I’m anxious, eat when I’m sad. The downfall is that it is usually unhealthy food that we choose to comfort us or that we choose to celebrate a happy time.
I’ve been on a healthy eating journey for 10 weeks and the same patterns persist. When my emotional equilibrium is off kilter, reach for something to satisfy. Fortunately, I now reach for a piece of fruit or some nuts. The point, however, is that behavior or mindset that has to be unlearned or never taught or developed. I remember teaching a Women’s Sunday School lesson many years ago about not letting our emotions control us but using them to our advantage. I wish I could find my notes from that now.
Generally though, we are slaves to our emotions, making bad decisions, being impulsive and irrational, not listening to what we know to be true and good, not listening to God. We are driven by them. We must reign them in. Like all binding, smothering strongholds of our lives, we must bring our emotions under subjection to more holistic thoughts of truth and faith. The battle is in the mind, our thought processes which act as a power surge to our emotions. So we have to constantly combat with God’s Word, His promises, positivity, healthy influences and environments, and learning. While learning, get understanding, apply wisdom, GROW. Constantly, consistently, persistently doing battle with perseverance and tenacity to not give up, but to WIN.
So Dominic is teaching Astrid well and his Mom-in-Love too.
Let your emotions work for you so that you will have VICTORY.
Philippians 4:7-9 ~
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

I still haven’t gotten into a regular groove of WRITing here. I believe Lisa-Jo expressed it so well in “How to Write and Live Brave”. It is the ‘Fear Factor’.
A minister recently preached a sermon entitled, “Fear Factor”. One key point I took away from it was that fear is produced from our interpretation of what we see, not actually what we see. The point of writing and not having control of who and what is perceived or said is a little unsettling. “It takes courage to become what you really are.” I’m always seeking God’s inspiration for writing here and I want to trust the process. I know when He inspires me to WRITE, it will be a blessing, it will encourage, inspire and motivate my secret followers as well as those who leave a comment from time to time. I know WRITing is a therapeutic tool that enables me to get out what God has put inside of my heart and mind, to share my experiences, and to pour out my life-learned wisdom. That is part of my fear too, that even though my WRITing is not scholarly, it still matters, I still have something of value to say, I still have a voice. Even when I have no idea how small or great my community, I still have a story. Everyone has a story and the chapters and pages of our lives, when well lived, when God-breathed, can bless others. So we must tell our stories, we must WRITE.
“When God gives you a gift, it is an investment that He knows you are capable to work, to accomplish.” — “Fear Factor” (Matthew 25:14-30)
Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday, http://lisajobaker.com/2014/02/how-to-write-and-live-brave-when-youre-terrified/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+thegypsymama+%28thegypsymama%29