The Dave Ismay Column: Houllier's Sugar coated regime at Aston Villa

NOW stop making up your own jokes but I was visited by a fairy on New Year’s Eve who asked me for my annual wish.

NOW stop making up your own jokes but I was visited by a fairy on New Year’s Eve who asked me for my annual wish.

“I want to live forever,” I requested. She said she wasn’t allowed to grant that sort of wish.

“All right then,” I said. “I want to die when Villa win the Premiership.”

“You crafty devil,” she responded.

Despite all the recent drama it’s not gone as expected in postal code B6.

Gerard Houllier arrived in a blaze of somewhat questioning publicity but no doubt cushioned by the omnipotent awe the French press have apparently conveyed since his departure from top-flight management over three years ago when he and Olympique Lyonnais parted company has displayed a typically Gallic lofty disdain.

His reasons for coming remain unresolved. The only French influence I’ve spotted in Lozells is an abandoned Renault on house bricks and a few friendly ladies who whisper “allo allo” from street corners.

It’s more than six years since he managed in the Premiership, which could explain his outdated man-management strategy which appears to consist of little magnanimity or pragmatism.

In other words, Sir Alan Sugar with a French accent!

It would appear that recently he has at least come to recognise that today’s players are no respecters of past reputations or achievements and thus the reaction of more divisions in the dressing room than the coalition government.

For me, this in itself was a revelation as I thought team-mates only communicated through their investment advisers.

Gerard’s apparent intransigence and public airing of dirty linen were the techniques of yesteryear and in this time of total player/agent power a tactic that was always likely to snap back and bite him.

The acquisition of Robert “The Snail” Pires on a free transfer from Age Concern wasn’t the wisest of moves as their resources are being fully stretched monitoring his nutrient levels and oxygen intake.

On the plus side, he has reignited the enigmatic Emile when he manages to clamber off the treatment table.

The original “Sick Note” has always driven fans daft by failing to consistently show his obvious talent and should have “sponsored by Bupa” printed on his training gear.

Considering the number of X-rays and scans he’s reportedly endured during his career he should also carry enough radioactivity to energise a small town.

Gerard’s described “love-in” with the home fans at Liverpool was at best ill advised and his explanation disingenuous.

It quite rightly angered Villa fans, as does his talking down to them even now.

He says he is being misunderstood but it’s all so reminiscent of the awful David O’Dreary, who turned after-match press conferences into wakes with his statements of the bleeding obvious and referral to the team as “they” when playing badly and “we” when achieving.

The football has, in the main, been uninspiring and the dug-out more often than not resembles the bewilderment of a set of witnesses at a train crash.

Probably the most revealing insight so far this season was the joyful and exuberant reaction of normally taciturn owner Randy Lerner when the late leveller was scored at Stamford Bridge.

I take it to be celebratory or was he merely trying to strangle his CEO Paul Faulkner?

Lerner will want to give Houllier the opportunity to get it right, but time can be a demanding mistress.