The Journalist’s Wife

In his book, Banner Headlines which I once quoted in this column, Stafford Sommerfied, former editor of the defunct News of the World painted a scary picture of what it takes to be an accomplished journalist and why ladies should think twice before marrying one.

"Don’t become a journalist unless you feel that you must and nothing else will do. Even then think twice. To reach the top you must be dedicated; your work must come before home, family and everything. No sensible girl would marry a reporter or be one," he wrote.

Sommerfield is right to a large extent. My experience as a journalist and that of other colleagues confirmed Sommerfield’s assertion. It takes a lot of efforts to ensure a balance between the job and every other thing, including family and faith.

The Journalist’s Wife

by Mrs Ochuko Blessing Ohu, widow of the slain Assistant Editor of The Guardian, shot dead by unknown gunmen, recently launched in Lagos enumerated the agonies of wives of journalists based on her experience and that of many others she spoke with.

Every job has its hazards but any young lady who reads Ohu’s book may be tempted to take Sommerfield’s advice that no sensible girl would marry a reporter seriously.

"Behind the glamour lies the pain, the fear, the uncertainty. At times, you wished there was something you could do to change the situation. You wished you could re-direct the course of your life. Sometimes you may want to have a prayer of agreement with your husband and children, but he will not be there with us. You want to go church together but he is not there.

"There were issues you would like to discuss passionately with your husband, but he was not there because he is pursuing one story or the other," Ohu recalled in the book.

Another journalist’s wife said, "Whenever I think of it, it makes me sad because anytime your husband goes out, you keep on praying and panicking and calling, telling him to be careful, asking of his whereabouts. Most of the time, when he writes certain stories, you are always scared".

It definitely takes a lot of grace to cope as the wife of a journalist. My wife who though trained as journalist but is not practicing as one, once in a while lets out her frustrations about how my too busy schedule sometimes forces people to ask her what kind of job I do as I am always not around to accompany her to gatherings couples should attend together.

My heart goes out to wives of journalists, particularly those who despite the agonies they have endured due to the nature of their husbands’ jobs have become widows following the killing of their loved ones by faceless gunmen who the security agents have not been able to find.

I join in thanking Blessing for her book which will definitely draw attention to the plight of wives of journalists and probably make journalists to begin to think about how to balance their work and family life. While journalists like every other professional need to excel at work, they also have to cater for not only the financial needs of their families, but their emotional needs.

Like every other widow, Blessing deserves the support of all to cater for her five children. This is the only way we can reward Bayo for the hard work he did in the service of humanity which journalism is all about.