Tag Archives: motivation

I’m very determined and goal-oriented. My goals change periodically, and I think that’s okay. I’m learning about myself every step of the way. It would be foolish to cling to a dream I no longer look forward to. Thus, I am learning and shuffling my life around to make room for things, people, and plans that enchant me.

And then I’m confronted with my culture.My culture that doesn’t force me to do anything, but whose participants are constantly asking the same questions and are worried about the same things. I know that those who love me wish the very best for me. I have been blessed beyond measure with family and friends who are so supportive, caring, and inspirational. But even these very special people in my life are sometimes caught up in our culture – the one that doesn’t intentionally want to cause me harm, but it’s doing so anyway.

“When are you getting married? So and so is…so and so had a baby…Why not?”

At first, I laughed it all off. I’d answer with truth and they’d be concerned. But I’d laugh because I didn’t know what else to do, and because to me, it all seemed obnoxious and ridiculous. To me, it still feels like a question I shouldn’t be asked more than 20 times a month, because I’m young and free and that’s just how I like it. My relationship doesn’t have to be heading in the “I do” direction, because it’s in a great place as it is. Besides, that’s my business. It’s my life and I am allowed to do what I want.

They understand that. They wouldn’t force me to do anything, but their constant nudging and questioning is finally getting to me, but not in the way they want it to get to me.

It’s just making me feel like everything else I do is not important. It’s making me feel like who I am is not enough.

And I’m not changing my mind about what I want, just because other people ask me questions. That would not be honest to my own self. I am holding tight onto what I want and where I’m going. I ask them to stop – and it’s not stopping. Well, I’m not stopping either.

I’m sitting in a campus café, overhearing conversations about classes, jobs, internships, etc.
I’m feeling inferior – I am definitely not taking as many classes, not applying to excessively time demanding positions, not doing as much. Period.

But then I step back and drown out the noise.
I have to stop and remind myself:

Grade point averages don’t define my worth (sometimes I wish they did)
The number of classes I am tackling this semester does not define my intelligence.

We all have different talents, work habits, interests.
We all have different plans, world-views, strategies.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to everyone around us –We need to be the best we can be; We need to give everything we do a hundred percent,

Success is the reward for effort and perseverance,

Achieve your own goals at your own pace – you’ll be surprised at what you’re capable of.

Loneliness does not only arise from a lack of social interactions,
It is not merely a feeling of solitude and emptiness,
It is not a condition that another human being can eradicate for us.

Loneliness comes from within.
It’s something like: emotional isolation, a deficiency in self motivation, and the presence of negative energy.
Loneliness does not require the physical state of being alone.

Loneliness is the effect.
It is caused by unhealthy levels of self-criticism, denial, and fear.
Constant evaluation and reevaluation of self-worth based on societal standards.
The denial of one’s own desires and needs in order to conform and strive to some imagined definition of success.
The irrational fear of being judged and betrayed prevents the construction of real, honest, healthy relationships.

The solution?
I do not know.
Perhaps to set fears aside, to open up to people regardless of where that may lead, to strive for individual goals and define success for oneself, to love oneself, to live and interact in this world in such a way that ignites a thrill for living, loving, and creating one’s own happiness.
What is there to lose?

My solution?
The One and Only – Jesus Christ and his perfect will for me.