Connect

Last year I released my first book. I didn’t have a publisher or agency helping me, so I was kind of making it up as I went. I botched the grand release of it, and the people who wanted to buy the book couldn’t actually buy it at first. Since then I’ve found typos and poor word choices throughout the pages. Maybe one day it’ll be a priceless first edition, but for now it’s just annoying.

I made a lot of mistakes in my first book. But can you really call them mistakes if you didn’t know what you were doing? Can you demand perfection of an imperfect person in an imperfect process?

We’re humans, not computers. We’re accident prone. It’s why auto insurance is a requirement. There is no way to avoid errors and accidents. You’ll find errors in whatever you attempt, and others will, too.

Random strangers on the internet can’t wait to take you down. They can’t wait to hop on to whatever you’re trying to do and attack it. I’ve never understood this mentality, but some people are so miserable and insecure that they want to make others as pitiful as they are.

Nothing is ever good enough if you scrutinize it for long enough.

I was struck this week by four simple words of Jesus from Matthew 20:26. He was speaking about how people will use their power to grind down others, and then he said, “Not so with you.” He went on to explain that he did not come to be served, but to serve.

Some people may jump at the chance to belittle someone or rip them apart. Some people are always focussed on everything in their life that is wrong. They are never encouraging. Not so with you.

Some people are so hard on themselves that they sit paralyzed in fear. Not so with you.

It’s easy to find the bad; the wise hunt down the good. The weak tear others down; the strong build up.

A little encouragement can go a long way, and the best part is, the more you believe in others, the more you’ll start to see the good in yourself. I dare you to speak some words of life this week and see what a difference it can make.

Like this:

In my last post I talked about how I decided to quit writing for a night. Am I dramatic? Maybe a little. But if you doing anything creative, there has to be at least a little bit of Jenna Maroney in you.

I mentioned how my wife helped snap me out of it. When I hit my “What’s the point?” moment and decided to quit, I went to bed thinking I’d wake up with a sense of freedom. It was the opposite and I felt worse.

Every morning I start my day with a cup of coffee at my desk. When I sat down I saw Brittany had written me a note saying, Please don’t give up. It means something.

I went and told her thank you, and we talked about it all a bit more. She told me it was just a moment of doubt and it’d pass, and what I am doing is important. I spent some time reading the Bible and praying and realized I had believed a lie. She was right.

Lies aren’t always blatantly obvious. Sometimes they sound like good ideas. But when you hear God’s truth, you realize how stupid the lies are.

With the internet, it’s never been easier to hear criticism or to compare yourself to others, and it happens quickly. There are so many voices fighting for a chance to speak to us that sometimes you can’t help but absorb some lies.

Lies about where you should be by now. Lies about who you should be by now. Lies about what you’re worth.

We have to have people in our lives who share our dreams, who believe when we can’t believe, and who hold us in prayer. And people who know when to kick our butts with some truth.

The Bible talks about David and his mighty men. Not to be confused with the Merry Men . . . or the Mighty Ducks. These were men who didn’t leave David’s side. Brothers who were dedicated to the promise David had been given and willing to go to battle with him and fight for him. I’m willing to bet the King David we all know wouldn’t have been who he was if not for these mighty men.

Who are you surrounding yourself with? Do you feel uplifted after a weekend with your friends or drained and empty? Do you have voices you trust to speak truth into your life? Do you let them speak truth into your life?

Choose the voices you listen to wisely. And when they disagree with you, consider who is saying it, why they would be saying it, and what it even could be costing them.

I’m thankful I have people in my life who speak truth to me when I want to believe a lie. We’re in this thing together, Mighty Ducks.

Like this:

I once made a huge, tiny mistake. I insulted The Notebook in a blog I wrote about love.

Boy, did I hear it from some dedicated fans. However, I stand by my critique. It’s a stupid movie. And it celebrates infidelity. So there you go, fangirls. You love cheaters as long as they are good-looking.

I look forward to the oncoming comment section and death threats.

I can take the hatred now.

There was a point in my life where I would try to address anyone who disagreed with me and find common ground. With really hard-headed people who loved to argue, it would usually mean I’d end up agreeing to their views in some way.

I’m not unmoved by anything nowadays, but time has made me a little more calloused. Also working in the service industry for a few years will toughen you up. I can now disagree with people and move on with my life. That alone is massively beneficial to getting anything done.

The truth is, there is a very small number of people we should allow to speak into our lives. In a social media age, we can literally hear from thousands in a week. And there are a lot of dumb people in the world who don’t deserve your energy. I pity the people who dive into comment sections and debate strangers every single day. It’s a constant outpouring of effort which will end up leaving you empty.

I can’t say negative feedback doesn’t bother me at all, but I’m glad I didn’t write a book when I was 22. I would have hunted down my critics and engaged in a five-hour conversation to figure out how we can see eye-to-eye. I’d probably have bought them dinner, too.

Choose wisely who you let have a voice in your life. Some people hate on others for sport. It’s a sign of insecurity. We have to shake it off and move on or we’ll never get anything done.

In closing, I just want to remind everyone that The Notebook is a terrible movie. And Love Actuallyis even worse.

Like this:

When I was in kindergarten there was a very prestigious position to be held. It was the goal of goals and the highest platform a mere mortal could ascend to.

Line leader.

The line leader got to . . . lead the line. That’s right. You were the first in a line of 25 children, leading them into exciting and adventurous places like the cafeteria, the playground, and the bathroom. Oh the power you could possess!

Each day, our teacher Miss Sylvia would choose a new brave soul to lead our fair class, and then they would get to wear a button on their shirt all day bearing the sacred name of Line Leader. It was a glorious tradition passed down from generation to generation.

I remember sitting in my seat as she would walk by and my heart would be racing. I’d be saying internally, “Please pick me! Please pick me!” And every couple of weeks, the gods would smile upon me and I would become the chosen one. And it was awesome.

The students used to think it was based off of how good we’d been or how smart we were. We were too stupid to figure out that the students were selected by alphabetical order. I guess that’s one advantage you can have over kids who don’t know the alphabet yet.

I wanted to serve my class. “Please pick me!” Nowadays, when I see opportunities arising to help others, I say internally, “Please don’t pick me! How do I avoid this request?” I’ve gotten pretty good at walking backwards and slipping into the darkness like a ninja.

I’ll admit it: I’m a selective good person. If you talk to people who know me, some may tell you, “Oh he’s been so great to us. Always willing to help in any way.” Others will likely say, “He’s surprisingly never been around when I needed him, and I didn’t realize it until you said something and now I hate him.”

It’s funny how many of us are selective good people. I’m trying to be better and keep my life open, but it’s a work in progress. So many people will tell you, “Go chase your dreams!” But really what they mean is, “Go away from me and chase them!”

It’s easy to endorse someone, but it requires a lot more to invest in someone. That’s why I’ve started to recognize who is an endorser and who is an investor in my life. To be candid, I don’t have many investors.

It’s a prestigious position in someone’s life to be an investor, and you probably don’t have many of them either. Sometimes we think someone is an investor when really they are just an opportunist. It hurts when you find out the difference.

We have to be selective on who we invest in and who we let invest in our lives. I hope you have made smart investments.

I’m not asking you to invest in my life, but I do have an opportunity for you to be a selective good person. And it’s super easy.

That’s it! You don’t even have to finish reading it first. If you haven’t ordered it, you can get it on Amazon right now in print or Kindle format. If you’ve signed up on this email list, I think you’ll enjoy it. Then, just go leave a review.

It’s so easy and it will make such a big difference to the success of the book. I read somewhere that once you receive 50 reviews, Amazon will take notice and start to do their own promoting with it.

So there you go. That’s it. Simple huh? How much easier is it to be a good person right now than to leave a three sentence review? I’m not even asking you to help me move!

Like this:

I managed to pull off the worst book launch of all time. I was planning on launching it today and was going to have everything prepared. I was getting my final book edits in and making sure it would be available on Kindle and things like that. Then Thursday night I was watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt with my wife and got a text from my friend Andrea showing me how she was looking at my book on Amazon.

I leaped off the couch in a panic and told my wife, “I didn’t know it was already up! I didn’t know!” like I was a horrible Paul Revere.

I went to Amazon and sure enough, the print version was up. So I decided, “Well, I guess it’s time.” I posted on Facebook and Twitter about how it was already up and then did a Live Cast on Facebook, and it was also my first time trying that out. That was fun, though.

Then the next day I was still trying to get the word out and noticed a few errors in the print version I had received for final checks. So I wanted to upload a new version with everything fixed before any more books were sold. I didn’t realize Amazon takes down your current version until the new version is approved, and that takes about 24 hours.

So I managed to not know my book was launched, decide to promote it, and then when people were actually ready to get it I was able to deny them that opportunity and ruin any momentum I had going for me.

I suppose it’s worth noting I have a degree in advertising.

After all of the madness and mistakes, you can now order it in print or on Kindle right here. Clearly I need help in promoting this thing because I don’t know what I’m doing.

The only hope this book has is you sharing it and writing a review on Amazon. If we get enough reviews, Amazon will start to bump it up on different lists and it will become more noticeable. I’m not trying to guilt anyone. This book isn’t going to make me rich and my family will have food and shelter whether anyone buys it or not, I have a great day job.

The reason it got written is because you read my blogs. You told me it was a book worth writing. This is your thing, too. And even though my name is on the cover, it really, truly is not about me. I mean shoot, I can’t even launch this book without making huge mistakes on day one.

Like this:

I know the blog has been sparse these days, but it’s because I’ve been spending the majority of my time on my book.

The last few weeks I have been spending my mornings sending out book proposals to literary agents. The publishing world kind of works like Hollywood. You need an agent to get you an “audition”. Most publishers won’t even look at some unknown writer like me without a literary agent connection. But it’s hard to even get a literary agent without previously published works or a massive following.

So this is kind of your fault for not sharing my blogs and getting me millions of followers. Thanks, guys.

It kind of feels like I’m unemployed again shooting applications and resumes into space and never hearing back. It also feels like dating again. Shooting my courage and dignity into space and losing it forever.

Each agency has their own guidelines and specifications for submitting a book proposal, so you can’t really fly through the process. And each agent wants a specific kind of writer or story. Now it can take up to eight weeks for most agents to even get back to you with a “no”, so hopefully in a few weeks I’ll have some good news to report.

But as I send out these proposals, I keep hoping there will be just one agent who likes what I’ve written enough to believe in me and give me a chance in field where everyone wants a sure bet.

I’ve believed for years that all it takes is just one person to like you for everything to change.

Just one person with the right connections or the right amount of faith in you. It’s how I got my job I have now. My wife met an HR manager at my company on an elevator in our apartment building in downtown Jacksonville. Had it not been for that one-minute conversation, I may have never even gotten an interview.

All it takes is one person.

As I send out these proposals, I keep praying for the one. But as I am waiting for that one person with book connections, it got me wondering if I am the one person who someone else needs.

What if we all are that one person to someone? What if someone is waiting for us to have a little faith in them and see what no one else around them is seeing? What if we have something more to give that we have even realized about ourselves?

Maybe someone needs you to stand in their corner. Maybe someone needs your friendship. Maybe someone needs your money. Maybe someone needs your encouragement. Maybe someone needs you to remember they reached out to you about a job opportunity. Maybe someone needs you to go out of your way a little.

My life hasn’t been changed by the masses. My life has been changed by the ones.

The ones who invested in me. The ones who believed in me. The ones who gave me a decent shot.

Keep your eyes open. All it takes is one person to change everything.

Whose life could we change with just one moment?

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And now let’s all have a good cry watching the power of one person at Jim Henson’s memorial service here.