I am dedicating today’s post to Share’s Walk of Remembrance and the Wave of Lightin support of infertility and pregnancy loss, and shattering the stigma. Many amazing and dedicated bloggers are participating in a blog tour leading up to the walk in St. Charles, MO on the 15th of October. Check out the list of bloggers and their posts here.

A few weeks prior, I had been invited by fellow therapist and infertility warrior Justine Froelker to participate in a blog tour in support of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support. I had never heard of Share, and the seeker in me needed to know more.

Through online research, I discovered that Share is dedicated to serving those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.

Where was this support group when I needed it four and a half years ago? Ah, yes, it existed, but I was too entrenched in attempting to move forward from my miscarriage to notice.

I wanted to forget the pain.

To leave it on that cliff overlooking the ocean. To keep trying desperately to have another child.

After all, it wasn’t worth talking about because no one could understand what I had been through, right?

The moment I stepped into the Share meeting and was embraced with a massive bear hug from the leader, I was understood. Although I had not yet introduced myself to the others in the room, I knew for certain that they got me. They too had experienced loss. It didn’t matter how that looked; loss of embryos, early loss, second and third trimester loss, infant loss. Loss was loss was loss.

I didn’t have to explain myself.

The group didn’t make ignorant statements.

They weren’t afraid to cry.

They listened intently to what I shared, and I did the same.

There is something to be said about sharing your story with those who can empathize.

With those who will not judge.

With those who will look you in the eye, hug you and be comfortable with silence.

This powerful group of people shared stories of losses, often multiple losses that many could find incomprehensible. And it was magnificent.

We lit a candle at the beginning of the meeting for all of our lost babies. On the night of October 15, 2016, candles will be lit all over the world in remembrance of babies that have been lost. I hope you will light a candle for your own losses, or those of your loved ones at 7pm on October 15 using #WaveofLight #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness. Also, post your own Walk of Remembrance photos on social media using #ShareWalk2016.

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This film eloquently displayed the raw and difficult emotions that people who are going through infertility experience. I am always grateful for those who are willing to put themselves in a vulnerable position so that others will not feel alone.

So what can we do for those who have lost so much? How can we support them? Perhaps we can reach out with an old fashioned card, or even a phone call. We can say “I was thinking of you this week and wanted to check in. I’m here for you.”

Sometimes this can make a world of difference to people who thought they and their earth-shattering loss were forgotten.