Don’t mess with my buns

Happy Easter! ‘The Festival Of Jesus’, as my mate Toddy calls it. It is a special and fun time of the year for all ages. Not only does it spread the values of Christianity, but it’s also great for the little kids who love chocolate and the Easter Bunny, and super for adults who partake in a few extra wines and seafood over the holiday period.

But can we talk about hot cross buns please? The world has gone bonkers, with no less than 20 new hot cross bun hybrid flavours released this year. It is as crazy as that final show of Married At First Sight.

We have seen chocolate hot cross buns, apple and cinnamon hot cross buns, and white chocolate and raspberry hot cross buns. Just as I was getting over my anger towards Coles for getting my kids addicted to collecting those fruit and vegetable Stikeez, the grocery giant has done something even worse with its new hot cross bun flavours.

I am a purist. I like original hot cross buns heated up in the oven with butter. Plain and simple. Why do we have to mess with perfection? These new novelty concoctions should not really even be called hot cross buns. They are fancy bread cakes with a cross decorating them.

Apparently we have the millennials to blame. The big brands want the millennial dollar and this age group likes the products of yesteryear, but with a modern day twist.

There is even hot cross bun flavoured ice-cream on the market. And strawberry milk has gone fancy with the release from Arnott’s of the strawberry milk Iced VoVo flavour. There is also a lime milk that is Mint Slice biscuit flavour.

Bottle shops have followed too. You can now buy gin infused with just about every flower or fruit ever invented. Rhubarb gin. Strawberries and cream gin. Spit-roasted pineapple gin. Elderflower gin.

And if this flavour fusion frenzy is not bad enough, you can also buy raspberry Maltesers. Even Aldi has got in on the act and is selling frozen chips in a sweet chilli and truffle oil flavour. No!

All you need is a serving of hot chips coated in tomato sauce with lashings of salt. Serve the chips in paper and eat them in a park and you have perfection. Finish off your Easter feast with a plain hot cross bun and you are pretty much Nigella Lawson. Enjoy this most wonderful time of the year.