Is It Time To Stop Telling Your Friends You’re Pre-Med?

It’s finally happening. After three weeks of confidently defining themselves as the not-a-major of pre-med, many Pitt students are beginning to get cold feet. Maybe it was midterm exams, maybe it was the prospect of being a student until age 50, but these would-be-doctors are suddenly discovering their lifelong passion for… well, not medicine. The transition can be hard, but is it time to admit that the white coat isn’t for you? Let’s find out.

How many BIO 0100 lectures have you skipped already?

Um none! Brb gotta go to office hours for the fifth time this month!

A few, but come on, who goes to all of their 8 a.m. classes anyway?

I don’t even know where Clapp Hall is.

Correct!

Wrong!

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Have you ever cried in public over chemistry homework?

I’ve shed many a tear over the beauty and mystique of the atom.

Not in public, no. Wait, does a private study room in Hillman count?

I had to return my textbook due to water damage.

Correct!

Wrong!

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When was the last time you felt inspired by an episode of Grey’s Anatomy?

Everything about that show is literally goals.

Something something something “my person.”

It’s just a damn show.

Correct!

Wrong!

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Is the med school library really that much nicer than Hillman?

Is that even a question? Go roll down the hill into your shitty peasant library, you swine.

It’s quiet, but no way in hell I’m walking up there every time I need to pretend to study.

It’s overrated as shit and everyone knows it.

Correct!

Wrong!

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It’s almost October, and everyone on campus has the plague. Do you really want to be the person dealing with them someday?

I was placed on this Earth to heal the sick and comfort the afflicted.

I wanna deal with really interesting diagnoses, like this one episode of Grey’s…

Just go buy some NyQuil on your own, ASHLEIGH, you’re fine!

Correct!

Wrong!

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Ya know, Pitt has a really good philosophy department… all the cool kids are doing it…

Ok?

…ALL the cool kids, you say?

Where do I sign?

Correct!

Wrong!

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Do you have any other fun facts you can use during ice breakers besides “I’m pre-med?”

I don’t have fun. I only know facts. Science science medicine math science.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.