Law & Justice

Law and Order: Lanyon Valley

Firstly, townhouses in Charterisville Ave, Conder, were at the center of a Police operation at 4:30pm on Saturday afternoon. Six police cars and dozens of Police broke up a party, searched a vehicle and arrested five youths. Dozens of youths fled the scene and Police had to use their vehicles to box in a car trying to leave.

Lanyon Market place is a lot safe following a huge brawl in which one teenager was assaulted by dozens of others. A security gaurd now patrols the front of the market place after 3pm while school students are around. The fight was a couple of weeks ago, I found my self drinking coffee in Michells, surrounded by Police in overalls who were protecting and interviewing the victim at another table following the fight.

Finally, if your doorbell rang or your door was knocked on last night and you live in the Lanyon Valley, your not imagining things. I was awoken at 1am when someone smashed (not knocked, but smashed hard) my front door several times. Not knowing what was happening, I called Police who arrived minutes later, though the offenders had fled. They informed me that some youths were stuffing around with doors in the are.

What possesses people to act more like idiots than even they probably are? Booze? People tend to get into random acts of stupid when they feel dispossessed (or are drunk) so I hope this lot aren’t feeling alienated.

In an ideal world, the good taste police would be out there, stopping this stuff before it starts. Impound utes not actually connected with primary production or some other relevant activity. Fit 40 k/h limiters to any loud vehicle. Ban the flanny. De-mulleting flocks of hairdressers providing at least some semblance of humanity. Belt operatives to remove instances of plumber’s crack and the display of boxers. A fatwa on the Kambah Tavern, the Chisholm Tavern and several other resorts of the uncultured. A ban on Winnie Blues, rugby league and slabs of beer.

To bring you back from Utopia VicePope… it would be reassuring to residents of Canberra to know there are some police patrolling our city. I’m sure this goes on everywhere, not just the valley, at Lanyon marketplace I’ve seen 3 massive brawls this year. It would also help if parents could enforce curfews so there aren’t gangs of 10 or 15 kids who wander the suburbs Lord of the Flies style at 1:00am, exploding letterboxes, screaming & smashing stubbies on driveways. The hoons doing burnouts in front of every house with a teenage daughter also can report to your good taste police.