S9E20: Even over a relatively short three week hiatus, Two and a Half Men has been making headlines left and right. Whether it's Ashton Kutcher's in-flux salary negotiations, creator Lee Aronsohn badmouthing female comedians or Kutcher nabbing the role of a young Steve Jobs in an upcoming biopic, the show has been in a constant state of feather ruffling. Now, the comedy returns — although, the real life antics may be more entertaining. Take it away, Ashton.
One Charlie Sheen Head (1 - 10 Points): Ashton, you were in this episode.
Two Charlie Sheen Heads (11 - 20 Points): Ashton, you landed a few jokes, but we can't stop thinking about good ol' Charlie.
Three Charlie Sheen Heads (21 - 30 Points): Ashton, you earned tonight's laugh track. Solid.
Four Charlie Sheen Heads (31 - 40 Points): Ashton, we're impressed. You've surpassed Sheen-level kookiness.
Five Charlie Sheen Heads (41 - 50 Points): Ashton, you're scaring us with classic levels of comedy. Charlie who?
That's that, now on with the Ashton Kutcher Two and a Half Men scorecard!
"Grandma's Pie"
1. "I think I'm just going to try and slip it in without her noticing."
Points: 5
We return to the densely woven narrative of Men via Walden's burning desire to see his girlfriend Zooey. She's been gone for three weeks (a decade in penis years, per Alan), and since her departure, he's formed a new software company with his ex-partner and ex-wife. Lots of news — and while Walden can't wait to get back in the sack with his lady, he's also living in fear of unveiling the truth.
In the wake of all the craziness that's gone down in the past few weeks of Two and a Half Men (Alan and Lyndsey's Moms are dating, if you missed that tidbit), a tip of the hat to the Ashton and the writers for slowing things down and keeping it classy. Walden's in mellow mode throughout the episode, a thinker rather than his occasional manchild self and his moments drinking tea with Alan are simple and clever. Much better than wrestling Patton Oswalt, surprisingly.
2. "On the plus side, she's sleeping with my ex-partner."
Points: 6
When Walden does get around to spilling the beans to Zooey, his British lawyer girlfriend doesn't handle it well. Can't blame her — Walden vomits the information out, attempting to cushion it with lame, comforting words that create more chaos. Walden doesn't understand why forming a business partnership with the woman who drove her car through the side of his house only weeks earlier is a bad thing. Zooey doesn't have the patience to let him figure it out.
Is it strange that I prefer Two and a Half Men's light-hearted dramatic moments peppered with jokes over the overtly goofy Alan plotlines? This is when I realize why hiring Ashton was a smart move. After nine seasons, Two and a Half Men could really have done anything and it chooses to (occasionally) play things straight. That's Ashton at his best.
3. "Good job old boy, you dodged the crazy girlfriend bullet!"
Points: 6
With Alan off mismanaging his motherly affairs, Alan continues to persuade Zooey that things will be fine between him and his ex Bridget. That it's all business, no feelings. Zooey doesn't buy it — mostly because Walden's the one who planted the seed in the first place — so the bumbling billionaire hatches a plan: they'll have a dinner. Zooey, Bridget and he will sit down and talk things out.
"Grandma's Pie" is a great display of what Men can do when it doesn't snowball out of control with scatological humor. Take the running gag of Walden exclaiming his inner thoughts just loud enough for Zooey to hear. Simple, silly and universally familiar. Whereas Alan's my-mom-is-dating-my-girlfriend's-mom-how-do-I-tell-my-sons?! thread is eye-rollingly absurd. Come back to Earth, Alan! If you were ever hear before.
4. "Let the assuaging begin."
Points: 8
At dinner, Ashton takes a back seat to a heated back-and-forth between Bridget (Judy Greer) and Zooey. It's a manipulation game, and Walden watches it spin out of control as soon as it starts. All he can do is say "yes," "no" and "where's the pot roast!?" Bridget is mostly positive when it comes to Walden and Zooey's relationship...minus the part where she suggests maybe the gorgeous Brit is in it for the money. Atomic bomb dropped.
This is the defining bit that Ashton haters are going to hate, Ashton defenders will praise. You wouldn't have caught Charlie Sheen playing middle man to two co-stars — his comedy was all swagger and stardom — but here, Ashton watches, baffled, as the two women in his life duke it out in a fury of funny. Thumbs up.
5. "OK, that's one approach...that stinks."
Points: 6
Tonight's episode doesn't end on a big laugh, but rather an intriguing proposition. To declare his love to Zooey and suggest the future looks bright, Walden asks his girlfriend (and her daughter) to move in with him. The two take up his offer, with the catch that Alan would really have to move out. Hmmmmmmm. Walden doesn't resolve this point the next time him and Alan have tea, but it's out there. It's real. You can tell, because Alan is getting the shivers.
Men has the chance to take a bold step. I say do it. Alan shacks up with Lyndsey. Walden with Zooey. Grandma with Grandma. A whole new dynamic ready for skewering.
Total Points: 31 - Four Charlie Sheen Heads!
Blame it on the long delay, my inclination to be too nice to Ashton Kutcher or my distaste for the random old lady romance storyline, but this was a solid episode of Two and a Half Men, a show most people think is burned out. After tonight, do you think the show should come back for a 10th season?
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The scriptwriter raised eyebrows at the Toronto Screenwriting Conference in Canada on Sunday (01Apr12) by stating small screen programmes in the U.S. are approaching "peak vagina" and suffer "labia saturation", according to The Hollywood Reporter.
His comments sparked a barrage of complaints on Twitter and Aronsohn took to his own account on the microblogging site on Monday (02Apr12) to insist his remarks were meant in jest.
He wrote, "Women, please look up 'irony'."

Sometimes it's hard to convince people that sexism is still a problem in this day and age, so it's nice that Two and a Half Men creator Lee Aronsohn has offered up such a clear example. During an interview with The Hollywood Reporter about a possible tenth season for the CBS comedy, Aronsohn shared some unsolicited thoughts on women in comedy. "Enough, ladies. I get it. You have periods," he said. "But we’re approaching peak vagina on television, the point of labia saturation."
Before announcing that he's no fan of female-centric comedies like 2 Broke Girls and Whitney (then in a weird turn, praising Whitney Cummings, Chelsea Handler and Tina Fey), Aronsohn said at the Toronto Screenwriting Conference that he makes no apologies for consistently portraying women as bimbos on Two and a Half Men. "We're centering the show on two very damaged men. What makes men damaged? Sorry, it’s women. I never got my heart broken by a man."
So what exactly is the "point of labia saturation"? Apparently it's having women make up only 15 percent of writers on prime time shows in the 2010-2011 season. While some might see the numbers from San Diego State University's Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film as evidence that women are grossly underrepresented in writer's rooms, Aronsohn explains that no one wants to hear about experiences shared by 51 percent of the population. Women are clearly too preoccupied with their disgusting bodily functions to write good comedy. Tina Fey might have a few Emmy's under her belt by now if she could turn in a 30 Rock script that doesn't consist of Liz Lemon discussing nothing but Kotex and douching for 22 minutes straight.
After realizing that his protest against the existence of a measly half-dozen female-centric comedies might not go over well, Aronsohn admitted that his show isn't the height of comedy. "We do far too many fart jokes on Two and a Half Men," he said. "I’m the last person to judge." However, it was too late. His remarks prompted a huge backlash online, with Raising Hope star Martha Plimpton Tweeting, “The rise of female writers and performers in television is a result of demand. So we’re taking our place at the creative table" and Daily Show creator Lizz Winstead quipping, “You realize that if we are at Peak vagina, the prices at the pump are gonna skyrocket." (Ladies are so cute when they're angry!)
Finally, Aronsohn apologized, Tweeting, "Yes, yes - it was a stupid joke. I'm sorry." Unfortunately, that was undercut by his earlier Tweets, in which he said, “Women, please look up ‘irony’” and explained that he's “made a career out of” jokes about the male anatomy though he was “complaining about vaginas.” (Those Tweets have been deleted).
Even if Aronsohn is truly sorry for his misogynistic comments, it's unfortunate that he perceives a competition between male-centric and female-centric shows. There has been a push to put more female-driven content on TV, but that doesn't mean programs like Two and a Half Men or The Man Show must be banished from our TV screens. Women just want an opportunity to produce quality writing, without having their work automatically dismissed because it might include a leg shaving reference. If that's what happens when we finally reach "peak vagina," then women and men who enjoy Fey's SNL sketches, Mindy Kaling's Office scripts, and Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games trilogy should be welcoming "the point of labia saturation."
[AOL TV, NYT]

Thanks to Charlie Sheen's 2011 meltdown, Two and a Half Men was nearly forced to close shop. Ashton Kutcher managed to keep the show alive by stepping into the lead role, but now that he's experiencing some personal problems of his own, is he ready to take a break from the limelight?
During a panel at PaleyFest 2012, Kutcher indicated that he isn't letting his divorce drama with Demi Moore, interfere with his work. When asked if he'd be up for another reason, he said, "I'm adoring the time I'm having," adding, "I haven't heard from the powers that be yet."
While co-creator Chuck Lorre joked that he's "not the power," who decides the show's fate, he said that there will probably be another season. "It's unusual if they cancel a show that's in the top 10. I think there's hope," he said. And you can bet that Kutcher will be a part of it. "I don't see any reason to continue without him," Lorre added. "He's a delight, he's a really nice man and he's a really easy-going guy, he's very relaxed and very professional. He shows up and he's ready to work, he's prepared and he brings it."
He isn't the only one happy to have Kutcher on set. When the name of a certain tiger blood enthusiast came up, co-creator Lee Aronsohn said that in the past season, "The biggest change is we don't have to check TMZ in the morning to find out if we need to go to work."
Source: E!

The Pretty in Pink star was joined by his Two and a Half Men co-stars Ashton Kutcher and Angus T. Jones and show creator Chuck Lorre as he accepted the honour just 24 hours after completing the Annual Nautical Malibu Triathlon and then attending the Emmy Awards, where he and Kutcher were among the presenters.
Accepting the Walk of Fame honour, Cryer took a moment to remember Charlie Sheen, who was fired earlier this year (11) following a well-publicised fight with producers and Lorre.
He said, "I do have to say a real word of thanks to my co-star of eight years, Charlie Sheen, who gave me so much as a performer and who I enjoyed working with so much."
The unveiling got serious when Cryer went on to thank Lorre and co-creator Lee Aronsohn for saving his former castmate's life.
He explained, "I feel the need to thank Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn, who when they saw somebody who was clearly in distress, took every possible means to try to help their friend, and who, you know, when it came time to make the ultimate decision, which was someplace that nobody wanted to go, did something that in my belief saved my friend Charlie Sheen’s life."

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Created a contrioversy with the quote, ""But we’re approaching peak vagina on television, the point of labia saturation." http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/lee-aronsohn-ashton-kutcher-two-and-a-half-men-306787