I know this is gonna be a touchy subject but what are your thoughts on Domestic Violence. Do you feel that we should educated our High School students on sign or what to look for in abusive realtionships?

Domestic violence is absolutely non go !Here in Germany it is punishable.Don`t know how the law is in the USA , but here you are not allowed to be violent to your kid , your wife or husband ( if you mean this with domestic violence).Kids in the childrens garden are learning to say ,, No,, to any kind of violence that could be done to them , don`t care if it is done by the parents or anyone else from the family.An open discussion always takes part because of the violence theme.You learn to talk about it without shame ( in these days it is so, in former times things were bad ).

Most definetly. I've been in an abusive relationship and it's not pretty nor worth it,even if you "love" that person. I still have scars and it's a reminder to never be in that position again.

Students definetly need to be taught as they are young and they will start relationships with the opposite sex at that age. It's importatnt for them to be educated to protect themselves so that they won't find themselves in such a volatile relationships.

Definitely unnacceptable. By raising awereness we might reduce these incidences. I don't recall this issue being stressed enough in school,only in college though,where I actually did a presentation once about domestic violence during pregnancy (a huge risk factor especially if it's unintended). Sadly, a lot of the abusers were vctims themselves and that'a what they witnessed in their homes, so it becomes a "normal and acceptable" behavior; it's a cycle. So imagine what goes on a kid's mind when at home "this is normal; this is how mommy and daddy express their love and according to them it's fine" while in school you're telling them otherwise. It'd be a good idea to start educating them at a young age though instead of waiting til later.

Here in the US we screen pregnant women various times during the course of pregnancy. Also,unfortunately, women are more likely to be victims of homicide when they separate from their husbands,so we develop a plan with them in case they want to leave the situation. Though most victims of abuse tend to be women, children, and elderly, men can also be victims which may be overlooked since they may feel embarrassed and fear being ridiculed.

If you're in an abusive relationship and need help you can pm me I got some good resources

In my case of being physically and emotionally abused for 18 years of my 26 year relationship, I got so sick of people saying to me, 'why don't you just leave him?'. There is no JUST leaving an abusive person. They feel they own you and everything about you. Also, when you have been told day in and day out for years how stupid and useless you are, you really begin to lack the confidence it would take to leave and start all over. My ex always told me that 'the day I left would be my last day on the planet'. There came a point when he realized I was beginning to have the 'nerve' to think about actually leaving regardless of his threats...he then reached an all time low by threatening the lives of my children if I left with them. He told me he would kill them 'to spare them a life with me'. I told these threats to someone who reported it to family and children's services and a worker came out and saw within 10 minutes how clearly nuts my ex husband was and told me that if I did not leave him I risked them taking my daughter from me to protect her (at that point my son was 18 and a legal adult). I was not about to lose my daughter or to have her go through being put into foster care, so with help from family and friends and social assistance, I was able to leave. The ex was angry and remained that way for a good year or so, but as everyone told me, he got used to the whole thing and ended up actually liking the freedom he now had (because at his core, he is just truly selfish).

My own issues did not just vanish overnight. Well meaning people told me that I should date, but I felt I had nothing to offer at that point in my life. It took 3 years til I did and even then, it was nerve racking. Even now, when I have been in a relationship for 10 months, little pieces of the baggage of my marriage can creep in when I least expect them. I don't know if I will ever be without that. But I'm trying my best to overcome it.

It needs to go both ways though. Not just show the women as victims all the time.

I personally think that if a woman is brave enough to throw the first punch she is strong enough to take one back.

Are you FUCKING serious?! You need serious help. I would like to see YOU 'take one back'. Until you have the bruises and mental abuse and feel the 'weakness' that a man can inflict upon you...you know NOTHING.

Trace, I think it is very brave of you to tell your story. Many would choose to hide it, I hope you are doing well in the time since your separation.

Thank you. I appreciate your sentiments. I blamed myself for a long time but came to a point where I realized it was not about ME, it was about my ex's expectations of me and the world around him. It was HIS problem NOT mine.

A LOT. Almost 20 years of it. He made me feel like I was less than human, blamed me for absolutely everything that went wrong in his life, my kids lives, made me feel like I was a crappy mom and on occasion there was physical abuse. On one occasion while I was 6 months pregnant with my son, I was talking to him in the car about something he didn't like and he decided he was going to 'make me' shut up and swerved the car to scare me...it was Dec, we hit black ice and the car swerved out of control, started spinning and hit a tree. I hit the windshield, needed 10 stitches through my eyebrow, my body took out the dash and I needed stitches in my leg and broke my wrist and had a concussion. All I cared about was whether the baby was ok. All the ex cared about was covering his tracks with my family when they arrived at the hospital. For a long time, I blocked out what happened and one day when my son was 3, it all came back to me and I confronted the ex that the 'accident' was really quite on purpose...his answer on that day and to this day is, "well if you had just shut up it wouldn't have happened". HE almost killed me and our son, but it's MY fault. That is how he sees almost everything.I have never to this day told my father what really happened that night because I know my dad would kill my ex for it. My mom, dad and sister still talk about walking into that hospital and seeing their pregnant daughter/sister covered in blood. But hey, I deserved it. I can now see how mental that is, but at the time, I just took it. My only regret in leaving him is that I didn't do it sooner.