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So I have been scared to look at the scale. Anyone who has struggled with their weight will tell you the same thing. Avoiding the scale takes away accountability, and you can live in a blissful yoga pant naivety, at least until those are tight too.

I did it though, I looked at the scale- shoes, watch, and hairband all in place on my body (those that have done weight watchers know how everything seems to come off at weigh in). I wasn’t shocked. Actually, I was 4 lbs less than I thought but that doesn’t make it any better. There it was in my face. Between the traveling, moving, and cookies, I had gained a solid 30lbs since June alone. Fuck.

So now I have to make a goal. Do I go lofty, or attainable? Ok lofty. 100lbs. Seriously, I could lose 100lbs and still be alive. I’m actually surprised a human can carry 100lbs extra and still be able to move, but here I am, doing it.

So on a slightly more realistic note, this will be broken down into smaller midterm goals. Let’s start with 10 lbs. In the mean time, some cross over goals will be to work on setting behaviors into habit (sleep, water, meal prep). In addition I am going to try to book a therapist that does EMDR and hypnosis, I’m going to attack this from all angles.

Eric says he is going to do this with me – I’m sure there will be more on this to come.

Lbs Down: 0

Lbs ahead: 100

Today’s work out: TRX, Zumba, some weightlifting concentrating on back.