Lea Michele Feels Cory Monteith's Presence, Had Plans to Have Kids & Grow Old Together

On losing Cory Monteith: “I immediately started to try and process everything. I didn’t drown myself in anything toxic. Now I feel a little bit more back together and I have this blank canvas in front of me, which is what my life can be. At the start, it’s hard because you’re so physically and mentally shocked and damaged, but after a while you get tired of physically feeling so horrendous, so I started doing yoga, which really helped. Then gradually your mind catches up with your body. Now I feel a little bit more back together and I have this blank canvas in front of me, which is what my life can be. There’s something sad about that but also something good, because I will take that blank canvas and make something beautiful out of it.”

On feeling Cory in her presence: “Every day when I go running, I feel like he’s pushing me to run harder. I’m just so glad we’re in a new year. I feel physically and emotionally very strong. You don’t know how strong you are until you have to be. I lost my grandfather a couple of years ago and I always feel that he’s watching over me. I feel the exact same way about Cory. Every day when I go running, I feel like he’s pushing me to run harder.”

On her future with Cory: “I feel like I was given the best part of Cory and I’m thankful for that. We talked about a lot of things. We talked about children and what we would look like when we grew old and who would be fat and how we would stay thin. We talked about where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do. We were done. We were it. When you’re at that place in your life with someone, you talk about everything.”"

On not being ready to date: “I’ve only ever had serious relationships so it’s an adjustment putting myself back into a place of being alone. And I was under a Cory Monteith spell…it’ll take time to readjust my mind and I’m really not wanting to do that right now. I feel like it’s so important to make sure that I’m 100% OK before I can get into a relationship. But people have to understand that I can’t be alone forever. Cory wouldn’t want that.”