Do you ever think about the words that you have, that are unspoken? I do. All the time. Sometimes it’s to people who don’t exist, sometimes to old foes, sometimes to people I love, sometime to people I’d love to love.

It weirds me out sometimes. These conversations in my head. (I sound crazy) Sometimes, I get to say them to whomever and that rush is even more…..than I anticipate it to be.

What would you say if you had to chance? To whom? and why?

– Twiffles

]]>https://theboysparents.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/unspoken/feed/0tonightwillfallhttps://theboysparents.wordpress.com/2011/10/20/57/
https://theboysparents.wordpress.com/2011/10/20/57/#respondFri, 21 Oct 2011 02:26:09 +0000http://theboysparents.wordpress.com/?p=57]]>Will there ever be a day where I don’t feel so broken?]]>https://theboysparents.wordpress.com/2011/10/20/57/feed/0tonightwillfall*sigh*https://theboysparents.wordpress.com/2011/06/03/sigh/
https://theboysparents.wordpress.com/2011/06/03/sigh/#respondSat, 04 Jun 2011 04:21:26 +0000http://theboysparents.wordpress.com/?p=55]]>Dear Mr. and Mrs. The boys parents,

I was on here to looking up. And then I realized the boy had this very address on his bookmark toolbar. ❤ It's the little things like that, that I love most about him.

I would like to say that my excuse for not keeping up with my hope to post at least one entry a month is a good one. Of course, it isn’t. What is it that I do with my time anymore? Between work and seeing the boy on the weekend. That’s about it. I don’t go out on weeknights, I groan thinking about driving to the city on the weekend (and fighting parking, tolls and endless lines to the bar in a crowded room) I fear that I have become utterly boring.

Yet at the same time, it worries me that I’ve increasingly isolated myself from the people that I consider friends. While this worries me, it worries me more that my own insecurities may have caused further isolation. Or maybe it’s the distance. Or maybe, I worry too much about it.

Yet here I still sit on a beautiful Saturday because there is a Back to the future marathon on.

Of course, maybe this is just what happens when you “grow up” and/or “become an adult”

I am writing to you from the high seas! Yes, I am on vacation and sitting aboard a ship’s internet cafe. On a cruise none the less to Cabo San Lucas. Now when I started this trip I came with the hope of avoiding the normal touristy crap and seeing the real town. As we sailed for two days I wondered about the melting pot of people I was thrown in to. for the first couple of days people seemed nice enough. However as we pulled into port and the co-eds of spring break emerged from the woodwork I was shown that American travelers have earned the bad rep that follows them like a cat following an injured mouse. Comments were made about how the smaller boats taking us into the marina were likely leased out by the Mexican army and other crap. As a family member waved to a passing boat and only a few waved back, I commented that the “white folks were none too friendly around these parts.” Our previously loud mouthed fellow passengers were now gleaming with a stern expression.

and I can’t help, but wonder, Where these people think that it is okay to make derogatory remarks about the people of a country that they are visiting? and then they wonder why they are not greeted with hospitality. Being mostly hispanic, but still being a U.S. citizen, I cannot help, but find myself incredibly offended by the ignorance of my fellow americans. People say you should learn the language when being in the U.S. , but then when you visit Mexico, whatsa matta gringo? You no espeake teh spanich?

I won’t lie, I wasn’t excited about this trip, but I still had some hope.

Now, I can’t wait to go home.

Today I did get to see the “real” Cabo. People who hustle in the sun peddling whatever they can to tourists, so that they can feed the children that sit near the back of their sales tents. Today I saw a people who are working as hard as they can, trying to make the best of what they have after being screwed over by their government. Today I saw a white boy probably experience his first taste of racism directed at him. He didn’t like it one bit, maybe he’ll learn his lesson? I doubt it. Poor ignorant son of a bitch.

I write to you this evening on somewhat of a somber note. A woman I know who is one of the strongest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, is suffering from one of the worst kinds of heartache that most people will never know. My heart goes out to her and I hope that one day, she will have that moment that is her’s and only her’s. One that is not over shadowed by tragedy, unforeseen circumstance or anything of that nature.

I am writing this to you after awaking from 16 hours of sleep. Last night after work I came home only to pass out, wake up at midnight, nibble on something (i hadn’t eaten since lunch) and fall back asleep around 1. Now, it is 11:47 and I have been up for about 15 minutes. This tells me one thing, I have to get to bed earlier during the week as clearly, midnight isn’t cutting it. That being said, I have a mountain of homework waiting for me. …and I need food. Bleh.

I’ve recovered from illness and impending doom (read further stress) for now. Although I worry I am not out of the woods yet, I’m looking forward to trying my hardest to pick myself back up. Now that my spirits are a wee bit better, I am hoping to spend more time with friends and discovering more about the person I’d like to be. (Wow, most self-centered blog ever)

School is starting up and promising to kick my academic ass. ..Okay not really, but I really need to brush up on my algebra. I know that U+me = us (I know my calculus), but as far as roster sets and whatnot, whew, I will spend a lot of time studying and essentially making friday nights homework nights. That’s what I get for working full time and going to school at night. I could never take the easy way out :p

Things with the boy are lovelier than ever. For that, he is awesome. Joy!

Not much new on the work front, but that’s okay because things are good.

This winter has been a most disastrous one as far as my immune system goes. Plagued with a month-long cold in November and now a bronchitis like cold that just will not subside. Alas, hopefully some albuterol will help. January feels as though it is setting the year up to be a hectic one. Or maybe it is just trying to get it all out of the way first. I keep thinking back to my vows and wonder what the year has in store. I get no particular feeling about it. Sort of a “ho-hum” ‘nother day, ‘nother month’ ‘nother year.

What are you hoping for this year? What are your wants? What are your not wants? Are there any needs?

I for one, would like more times with the friends. More laughs with the family. More out reach to those in need, maybe some volunteer projects?

But mostly, I just want for the people around me to be happy. Too much negativity is good for no one. No one I say! Little sadness, ok, maybe, if it is necessary, but lots of hugs and happy to fall back on.