Ramadan that has gone away

A few days ago Ramadan has gone. We are left with memories that linger for many more years to come. This time my Ramadan has been different but awesome as always. It did not do any thing to take away my fat (damn!). the flabby tummy is still there like an old drained sand bag. maybe the scale sucks. the lame blame for miracles never happen. At least take a few kilos off so i can fit into that skinny uniclo jeans. hahaha not this this time, i guess. But Ramadan that has just left, gave something more permanent and lasting impact. It came like an iron to smooth out a wrinkled shirt. It ironed my heart, my mind and my soul. The long day time in Japan did not really make the fasting harder than usual but it made the iftar more enjoyable and meaningful. the daily group iftar in Jaist made you realise that food does not really the main agenda but the companions, friends and family, matter the most. The sharing of joy ironed a lasting relationship that will make you realise the true meaning of siyam and futur. This time the size does not really matter. For some, they want a bigger crowd and a maximum level of noise to make Ramadan lively. But for once, i did not really care about the crowd. The important thing is the salah ,fard and sunat, can go on. In Jaist, the crowd is small;only three rows in a good day. Less than 20 people, men and women, attended solat teraweeh. But it went ahead and every night we managed to finish all the 23 rakaat. It ironed out my belief and fear of Allah. Night after night we stood shoulder to shoulder in the prayers. I could feel a lasting impact in that small consistent effort that Ramadan promises. And then on the 27th night of that blessed night we organised a qiamullail. I must say this as for me it was very special. the night was said to be special and , me at least, felt the air of warmth and tranquility blew into my heart and soul. I led the prayers that night and recited the verses that echoed from within. Like a heated iron that left a warm press that you can feel with your palm. As you put the shirt on the warmth lingers for a while to initiate a fresh feeling for the day. The qiam really ironed my heart and the warm press stayed for a while. I have started to miss that and wonder whether I would be able to feel that again. hmmmm….so that’s how people miss Ramadan. i always wonder why and how do people say they miss Ramadan. If you look hard enough and try honestly and truthfully you would find the beauty of Ramadan. Apparently not in the comfort of home and lavish food from bazaar Ramadan.

Sometime I feel this is the reason why I came to this place, remote in the mountains of Hakusan and away from the noise that drown me all the time. So I can see and reflect the beauty of my faith and of what I believe in. It matters to me now for the strength and motivation that I need even to pass a regular day.