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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

In helpless state of affairs

One is helpless to make oneself understood

It's strange that sometimes you don’t know how to
help someone. Particularly if that someone is the one you love and care about. That
is when you want to provide them with the best and yet...you do the complete
opposite.

"How could that be...its the person you care
about...you can never do something that not goes in their favor."

True that!!! But I guess its probably that urge to
make an extra effort...to give your all but during that sometimes things get a
lil messy. I mean, you know the issue but finding the right means to solve it is
kinda hard. I don’t know that those of you reading this understand it or not.
Everything can't be explained through words...isn’t it?

Up till now this post makes no sense but just
wanted to let it out plus want to know if any of you reading have gone through
this?

I really want to help but all I am creating is a
mess. Maybe I am just over-exaggerating it or maybe I am in no control with my
emotions but its just that I feel so sad afterwards...only if I could have
acted in a better way or could have provided a solution...things would have
been a little different. So much to say so much to tell but all that comes out
is not what I want to say...why can’t we foresee future?? It would be nice to
know all the stupid stuff that I am about to say or do beforehand and try to change
it.

I realize what I said...how it could have affected
the person...how it could have hurt them and worst is that I cant take it outta
my mind. Just keeps playing like a film in my head...sucks big time. I have not
acted the way I should have and you forgiving me again and again...it hurts
even more. Why are you nice to me when sometimes I am not as nice as I should be? I am
massively confused right now cuz if you decide to give me the taste of my own
medicine then also I would be all sad and sulking...grrr.... what exactly do I
want?? I hate this indecisive state of mind...gets me frustrated and
angry...plus the examination season is going on and I really cant afford this
much of a chaos in my life. "You would never read this post but still I
apologize for not being me." Take this chaos away God and please turn the
situations in our favor.

7 comments:

I can so understand the chaos that's going on in your head and heart, it's best if I say you're not alone and that I'm still in that messy frame of mind and that I've never been this indecisive like I'm being now or rather from a little time. I dunno what to do, but I all do is think and over think though I keep on telling myself stop thinking it's not gonna change what happened, it's done it's over but I still can't come to terms with it and who knows it better than you!

I know sharing doesn't always end the problem, but at least even if for a while you feel good and calm it's worth it!

I pray the same, take this chaos away make things like they were, I don't want what others have I just want what we had back...