I wrote and performed this in my Advanced show at the amazing Groundlings Theater in October 2012. It features the awesome Jennifer Winters and Andrew Delman on voiceover. If you’re a Howard Stern Show fan, you may recognize the hottie in the final slide as Benjy Bronk’s “Online Sweetheart” Elisa Jordana.

There are plenty of people who love to shit on LA and how shallow and shitty and artless and heartless it all is.

All I can say is: “Fuck off. The ‘thrust it’ guy from ‘Showgirls’ is my friend now.”

That’s right. These are the people in MY neighborhood. Living in LA means you sometimes get to meet the person behind those insane movie personalities than embed themselves in your minds–like Patrick Bristow, the guy who screams at Nomi Malone to “THRUST IT!” while rehearsing for her opening night in Vegas. You know–Ellen‘s best gay friend on “Ellen”? When Ellen was still afraid to be gay herself? And “The Wigmaster” on “Seinfeld“?

He also happens to be, seriously, one of the greatest living improvisers in the entire world. Go take his classes at Improvatorium. He’s a genius. That’s one of the greatest things about living in Los Angeles (besides the constant temp of 72 throughout the winter and the citywide acceptance of the use of antidepressants)–you get to meet people that made you laugh before you ever met them–and then you get to find out that they’re super nice.

Liz Brown is a writer and journalist who has been published in Marie Claire, Good Housekeeping, and Vice.com. She is an alumna of the Groundlings Sunday Company. CONTACT LIZ BROWN DIRECTLY AT lalizzire@yahoo.com Advertisements