Boybands just won’t die. Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and former New Kid on the Block Jordan Knight have joined forces to create cross-generational behemoth Nick & Knight. With their eponymous album released on Monday and their national tour starting later this month, the two insist not only on their own bankable stardom, but also on the importance of the sound they helped create.

And yet, to look at the duo’s respective career trajectories, and the astoundingly generic quality of their album, Nick & Knight showcase a sad, strange take on a certain kind of masculinity, and thus the whole boyband genre: though pretty and well-choreographed, the duo are aggressive and desperate in their attempt to assert their own importance, and assure us that they’re not impotent.

Take the debut single One More Time. In the video, Nick & Knight play photographers for a bevy of women (models? porn stars? does it matter?) eager to pose for them, batting their eyelashes, licking their lips, rolling around on beds covered in downy feathers. The duo encourage the women, shooting them thumbs-ups and generally egging them on, under the guise of supportive, empowering behavior. And yet, the whole scene reads as if the dynamics are somehow reversed: it’s the young, virile women whose presence allows the ageing pop stars to exist, not vice versa.

Nick & Knight’s video for One More Time.

Nick & Knight, singing “Do you remember / When you were so drunk / Lying on the floor,” seem to be the only ones lost in an alternate reality where their sex appeal and talents are greatly inflated. In an interview with Good Morning America, the duo describe their sound as “pop, rock, R&B, urban … all mixed together to create Nick & Knight.” Carter and Knight have also promised to cover Prince and Lenny Kravitz songs in their live shows, essentially forewarning that their own music isn’t necessarily worth listening to, and that their own talents are essentially limited to glorified karaoke.

And if the music were good enough to stand on its own, would the album’s release be oh-so-conveniently timed to coincide with the debut of Carter’s latest foray into reality television? I Heart Nick Carter, premiering next week on VH1, aims to tell the story of the private Nick Carter and the vengeful wrath of the aforementioned masses that their One True Love and favorite Tiger Beat pin-up is now married and taken. Carter’s new bride, actress Lauren Kitt, co-stars. The timing of the album, the tour, and the reality show, raises the question: which desperate cry for attention is an attempt to promote which other desperate cry for attention?

E!’s House of Carters, an earlier reality show effort.

This isn’t Carter’s first reality rodeo: 2006 already brought us E!’s House of Carters, showing Nick and his siblings desperately trying to revive their careers and weasel their way into another 15 minutes of fame. It is highly possible, albeit tragic, that Carter’s quest for legitimacy ended before it even began, with his performance as the Slip ‘N Slide kid in Edward Scissorhands, filmed long before Carter could have ever dreamed of four-part harmonies, frosted hair, and marginally creative attempts to remain in the spotlight.

While New Kids on the Block will forever be the godfather and gold standard of the boyband genre, Jordan Knight’s post-NKOTB trajectory has likewise been lacking, despite success in 1999 with the track Give It To You. (It was actually nominated for a MTV Music Video Award, but lost to Ricky Martin’s Livin’ La Vida Loca.) Before reuniting with the New Kids on the Block to tour with the Backstreet Boys in 2010, Knight first attempted several other half-baked attempts to restart his career, a duet with Debbie Gibson and an album in which he solo covers New Kids tracks among them.

The video for Jordan Knight’s dance track Give it to You.

Knight is also no stranger to reality TV. He appeared as a judge on 2003’s kiddie version of American Idol, American Juniors, and also in VH1’s Real World-esque The Surreal Life in 2004, in which he lived in a mansion with other washed-up former stars. Married with two sons, ages 15 and seven, Knight, 44, has now spent even more time trying to stay famous than he was ever famous to start with.

One More Time, admittedly catchy in the ear-worm boyband sort of way, centers around the lyrics, “You’re gonna feel so stupid / When you realize what you did / No one can ever make you feel like me.” The lady doth protest too much: the only one left feeling stupid after this most recent ploy for attention is going to be Nick & Knight, left with only their memories of better times to console them.