So I have been absent for a bit yet again. This absence is because of much more serious reasons than the last.

About two weeks ago, I found out my dad had cancer. Though he was staying optimistic, the prognosis didn't look good. Last Friday he was admitted to the hospital for severe pain in his back and chest. They gave him medication for the pain and he seemed to be doing fine and resting, but later that night he had a massive heart attack and passed away. He wasn't in any pain, and he was spared a long and painful ordeal of cancer treatments. My step-mother was with him and he knew that he was loved. And I take some comfort in the fact that five days before he was able to attend my younger sister's high school graduation and thus see both of his daughters graduate.

I had always prepared myself to lose my father sooner than I'd like to cancer - he was a heavy smoker who didn't give up the habit even after he had a minor stroke three months ago. But obviously I was not prepared to find out about the cancer and then lose him a week later. Sometimes I feel like it isn't real - that I'll call him and he'll answer and it will all have been a horrible dream.

My dad was the parent I was closest to - he had his own struggles with depression and he always understood where I was coming from. He raised me on James Bond, and was the one who would go with me to the action movies nobody else wanted to see. When I had a problem, he was the first person I would call for advice.

The saying is right; every day gets a little bit easier, though right now the increments are miniscule. To everyone who has already expressed their sympathy in other places, thank you. And thank you in advance to anyone who does so here.