FLDS Prophet Warren Jeffs may be serving life in prison, but his followers continue with their work on the YFZ Ranch near Eldorado, Texas where the group's white limestone Temple towers over the town they are building. Polygamy, the practice of plural marriage, appears to be alive and well in the Lone Star State, despite laws to the contrary.

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy New Year!

Hey, I had an ok year and I am looking forward to what 2010 will bring. I hope you all have a good year. God bless.

219 comments:

this is my new years resolution; to do all the good I can. I went into C.M C. today. I did meet this Barlow man. I did ask him if they had taken care of that paper. he did tell me I could not think. He did tell me I could not talk. He did tell me if I did not leave he would make me. It is written; any man that exersises unrightous dominion over another soul is of the devil. I did tell him he could not keep me from thinking. I did tell him he could not keep me from talking. He did get Robert Knudson to call the cops and forbid me from ever going to C.M.C. again. I had a choice to say no, be beat up and forced by a judge, or sweetly comply. I wonder if Robert Knedson has any clue what he did today. I paid for every thing I have ever gotton. My name is not upon his list. and he banned me........I wonder how many years this hard, heartless, man will take to notice he is blind as a bat and protects abuse. My freinds suggest that i throw a fit. One suggested that I write him an email. I wonder if he ever reads Texas blogs. the lady that works in the department of bad checks did tell me today that there had been some sort of mistake. My name is not on that list.......My people have forsaken the Lord. I defended them in vain. they protect and flatter crimnal's and pick to death people they think are disabled. except some are kind no matter what. We do not have lost boy's Terry Goddard. We have lost nations. We have lost countrys. We have lost unity. We have lost value. now, i may never have to leave my house again. I know I will, but I can sit and talk behind Robert Knudson's back, like he did mine. I was standing in the store, when he asked one of his employee;s if I was normal. I did tell him I could hear him. He did scream at me yesterday and tell me I was a theif. He did tell me I had the mentality of a seven year old. today he banned me from his store...Which is not really his. It is U.E.P. that means it is mine and yours. So, all you rich, smart, busisness men, if you was disabled would you hire Robert Knudson to be your representive in government. It is weird, because I think he may really be a nice man. He just did not read the paper, and I think maybe non of his employees did eaither, except the one person who had a right to see the paper, and she told me today, that there was some sort of misunderstaning. My name is not on the list...I know it. and how many men have screamed at me, and stuffed my husband's debt down my throught. on that film i said I am tired of it. If the men in Zion want the woman to treat the like kings, do more than treat the women like trash........Actually Robert Knudson, you treat your trash on the street better than me. You only step on it, me you screamed at.......

but here is to all you dishonest people. Robert Knudson is just the perfect man to go to for business. he will let you flatter, him and flatter, him and flatter him. after thirty years when some stupid woman complain's that no one arrested these dishonest men, he will banish the woman, threaten her with jail, and hide the men's debt.....

this is a public notice to Robert knudson. I am not responsible for your irrisponsible behavior. I think you do not know any thing at all about your employees. I wonder how many of them you scream at. I would have quit working for you. I could go home. they could not. This is a public notice to you. The last man that used to run C.M.C. is not there. He was a bully too. he never bullied me, but I heard gossip about him. I actually never had trouble with the last man who ran the store. I would not say he owned the store. You do not own the store. It is U.E.P. which means I have as much right to this as you. And I will not say to much bad about you, because you are liked by some freinds of mine. they get busness from a man I love who would not cheat me, no matter what. So, I just suggest you go read your own stupid paper and find out what really happened. I seriously doubt I ever talk to you again. I have sensitive feelings. I usually take about ten years to get over being slapped for my husbands debts every time no one cared. I am not on that list and I have not been a member of thier businsess, and I have been single for ten years, because I was the first one they cheated...you are just the gini pig......but I forgive you......

willard's story. I was wrong about my family knowing. They know what they done to me. I have not ever broken a law. not once in my life. Willard went to school in Cedar City. He was getting straight A's. He was going to be a vetranary. He was kicked out of school. What is weird about Willard is this; he told me that no one cared about me. I did not beleive him. I am sad that I was kicked out of the store. I guess it does not matter. I should not have critazised Robert Knudson. Most the bisness men are doing great business.

I mostly only pick up trash any how. Johnathon that is the cop told me that every one here hated me, and gossip was so bad I would not ever succeed. I know. I have known that since the day i met Willard Marion Barlow. I used to think some one cared until I married him. Now, I am only humiliated every day. I have broken no laws. not ever. I am not a crimnal. I really did not like going into the store any how, because people make fun of me so bad any how. it does not matter. I have forgiven your Robert Knudson. I went to see one of my friends that does busniess with the carpet man and the hardware. He is a good business man. I did talk to him about this store.

Johnathon was right. gossip was so bad, I would not ever succeed. I know how-ever I am not guilty of any crime. When my sister Margene died she suffered so much more than me. My daughter did too. I need to be as strong as them. Richard Cooke tormented my sister margene too when she died. I need to be like her. these cops here would have liked me, if they had known me. Robert knudson would have liked me too, if he had cared and wanted to know anything about truth. I forgive every one every thing they have ever done to me. I know I am not guilty of any crime. I wish no man ill will. I am sorry if no one cared about me. I know that lady who had the paper with the list of cheaters on it, cared. She told me there was some mis-understanding, because my name was not on the list. I know I am not guilty of any crime. these cops will not quit. why? I do not know. why do they not leave me alone. I have broken no law. I am not a crimnal. why was I banned from our store? why do these people hate me and protect an abusive man?

I forgive every one anything they have ever done for me. I was a fool to trust. I am very sad that Robert banned me from his store. It does not matter for real. Not for real. I was hurt to bad, when Richard and Willard, and Shelly done what they done, and no one cared. I forgive you Lyle Jeffs. I forgive you all. I have never done anything to hurt anyone. I forgive you Jonathon. I forgive you Richard and Shelly. I forgive you Marvin. I forgive you all. in a way it is a favor. Why would I want to be with people who hate me, and protect abusers. no wonder people leave this church.

I have been banned from our store. If I was any one else, I would sue. I forgive. I knew better than to think any one would care. They have not cared about me, since the day I was born. Now, I know with all my heart why we failed in the court. Uncle Warren's men are traitors. They defend men that beat up woman and children. I knew better than to trust them. for if Richard H. Cooke could do to me, what he done and no one here cared, I never had a chance.......

it does not matter. I have been treated like a freak for a long time now. It does not matter. when I leave this world, I will not be every ones kicking post. I guess I need streanth to endure the insult. If he had charged these two men and barred them from his store, it would not hurt me. I am trying to have the streanth to forgive hard, heartless, cruel men. Even if he was to appolagise, I would not shop in his store.

I guess that is the price I pay for looking at his paper. That paper does mean a lot to me. for if any person in this City would have treated these men Like they did me, My daughter would not have been abused, for the men who abused would have been stopped. the men who were, and are guilty would have been stopped. How, long will it be before Robert Knudson charges these two men, for the crime the did to him. I will wait and see. Most likley, never. but my name is not upon his list...and I am banned. the price I paid to look at his list; and see what I already knew.....he over looked guilty men and banned me, for the gossip of his employees.

Thank you Texas. I love you. YOu protected me. After what Richard Henry Cooke done to me, I did think your state was like Heaven. I thought I had died and went to heaven for a little while. I THINK OUR WOMAN AND CHILDREN ARE WORTH PROTECTING. JUST DO NOT THINK TANKS WERE NEEDED. LOVE WORKS A GREAT DEAL.....Thank you Texas for protecting me.......AND NOTHING IS WRONG WITH CHECKING ON WOMAN AND CHILDREN.......Love and care is a great advantage in any person....TAKE CARE OF OUR PEOPLE.....THAT IS THE TEXAS MOTTO.....LOVE AND PROTECT...TEXAS IS A FREEDOM RIGHTS STATE. I WISH EVERY STATE CARED ABOUT THE WOMAN AND CHILDREN.....LETS ALL DO OUR PART....THANK YOU TEXAS FOR CARING.......YOUR STATE WAS LIKE HEAVEN TO ME.......

I have this plan; LETS ALL PITCH IN AND HELP POOR OL'ROBERT OUT. My husbands begged and borrowed and cheated every person I have ever known to take care of their poor disabled. and the state has picked up the tab for a long time. Any one want to pay the debt for my Two husbands. Keep in mind you can only pay the money end....the thing they done to my daughter will have to be paid to the Lord by them; when they meet her again in the heaven's. If so send YOUR DONATIONS TO THE GREAT ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OF UTAH AND ARIZONA....TO CLEAN UP THE DEBT OF MY TWO HUSBANDS.....FOR THEY HAVE BEEN COMMISIONED TO PROTECT STORE OWNER'S FROM THIEVES AND LIARS.....I HAVE KNOWN THESE TWO MEN FOR A LONG TIME. I WAS MARRIED TO ONE FOR TWELVE YEARS. I DO NOT KNOW ANYONE HE HAS NOT CHEATED FROM TEXAS OVER TO CALIFORNIA.....THE OTHER I MARRIED FOR ONE YEAR, UNTIL I FOUND OUT HE WAS MY FIRST HUSBANDS BUSSINESS PARTNER......GOOD JOB TEXAS. TANKS WERE HARSH, BUT SOME ONE HAS TO PROTECT AND SERVE....RIGHT.....I LOVE TEXAS........REMEMBER THIS; THE STARS AT AT NIGHT ARE BIG AND BRIGHT, DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS....MY HEART IS RIDING YOUR RANGE.....CAN'T TAKE THE COUNTRY OUT OF THE GIRL EVEN IN THE CITY.....

I wonder who Robert Knudson talked to today. I really do not want to know. I pity the poor, poor, poor man. Oh, how I pity him. Mette Lindsly does have party's with drug addicts. I shall not be going there again. I was making her doll some cloths for a christmas gift. She would not give me her address so I could send the doll. I did give her doll back, but I kept the cloths. I shall never go to her house again. I never seen drugs at her house. I only cleaned for her. She said that. She just had men around her that said this stuff. It is weird. I guess cane beds is not safe to be in. I did like making the doll cloths though. I wonder what Robert will do when he finds out he harbors thiefs. Sorry, I did like Butch and Becky. I like Wessly too. But I did not spend much time with him. he was ill for a month after he cheated me. He said it was siaticca. I do not know what made him ill. I shall not ever go to there house again. there car was only junk and it is just sitting anyhow. the title was fixed and my insurance cancled. He wanted to have me give him my insurance papers so that he could get his insurance on the car, but I insured his car and van for three months before I noticed his deciet. I am grateful to the Motor Vehicle division for this help, that they gave......I may never get this car fixed. Here is a toast to you Butch, Becky, Wessley, and Mette. I hope you can keep up with your taxes when the government catches up to you........You told me you would not be involved in my business again. course I really do not know for sure what you do. Just what you did tell me......I hope Robert is going to enjoy his knew debt that is about to fall upon him.......

and to all you who read this blog. You are my witness that it was posted publicly. I offered to buy this paper from him. he screamed at me and called me not normal, and he said I had the mentality of a seven year old. I wonder what he thinks he has if he looked in the mirror. Poor, poor, poor, poor Robert. I did think he was nice when I did tell him I could hear him talking behind my back.

we had a good work day today though. I picked up a lot of trash. Hung up a sign asking the people of the city to clean up the bad check debt......this is to help our wonderful, wonderful, wonderful Attorny Generals. We do not really need tanks in here. We just need a few honest men........poor, poor, poor Robert.......I wonder what he will do tomorrow.

I have to appoligise to our cop. this honest ones. I have not been charged. Robert has demanded and screamed at me, and i have complied. Poor, poor Robert......I bet he just encrued a great debt today.........at least two that i did see. butch says we control the vote. I am going to vote next year. I have not ever voted before. I shall try it and see if I control the vote. If you all have every thing so close that one vote would make a difference, I may control the Vote. Who should I vote for this year? poor, poor, poor, poor Robert. Our poor country, or our Poor disabled. What shall we try today? I will have to quit talking some time. I wonder. If I could control the Vote, Texas is already in my hands; but then it was when I was there in Texas. I went a long time before they did build this Temple. It is weird. Texas. I am not even sure if Texas knows what Texas is.......Deep in the heart of Texas........

Here is another prophacy. zion will rise, while babolon falls. Once there was the city of New Orleans. and a great wave came crashing upon it. California had a great wave wash it away. I was talking to a little girl in fredona when she caught a ride, with her parents to fly home. This was when that wave hit this other place and washed it away. her parents were on the news crying, because she was washed to sea.

why don't I just say what my Mother had to do with this out in the open too. Willard told me that he was just like my brothers. I thought he was joking. He was not. let me ask any one and every one what they know first hand about any of my brother's. Have you been treated fair with out any reason to be complaining. Let me start a list...Here they are

Benjiman, Ross, Doug, Marvin, Seth, Royal, Anthony, Ross, Nate, Edwin, Maybe those Salt Lake cops could help out the men who claim to be honest in my church. Lyle Jeffs, why do you not go get the cops in Salt Lake to do a welfare Check on my Brothers. Lester, Nate, and check out what made that Van wreck I was in last Month. It appeared to me that the warrinty on the Van was needing fixed, or something was going on. I know what my Brother Seth said was the matter with the engine. See what he car dealer people said about the Van Warrenty. also see if the police did a drug check on me right after the wreck. An ambulance was called. They did not find anything wrong with me. Not even a scratch. I was not even bumped....Get a police report sent very carefully to me. I may have to request it from the Police Department. I did not see any reason for this wreck. Not unless what my Brother Seth said was wrong with the warrenty.........check things out.......and I think my Brother Seth and I was the only person in my family who dared say no to that man who was buried a few years back.

allright, If I over reacted, look in your own mirror. Who did you cheat today. Who did you love. who did you help. who did you treat kindly... actually do you want to hear some good news Listen carefully if any one says something kind....

Happy new year to all and i hope 2010 will be a rewarding year. Where ever i look polygamy is being looked down upon by those who do not take time to study or understand the faith. yes, some aspects should be looked down on like child abuse in its many forms and marrying without consent. But most christians just with they had the amount of faith and love of their church like the fundamentalist churches. As i read these threads i see many who still have some fond memories or still are living the faith. I am putting together a project that looks at the fundamental lifestyle in a positive sense instead of always printing the negative. If anyone is interested just leave a post on this thread that you have some stories and i will post my email if there are any interested parties. I hope that this gets posted because there is a need to educate many about fundamentalism in a positive way and put a human touch to the subject. Thank you and may Heavenly Father bless everyones new year.

This is a public notice to the trucker that mauled my son. I will catch up to you soon. when I was taken for a ride, you did think I was just a helpless woman. I knew I had been sold. I told you this. Yet, I was protected. You tried to by me jewels after, but I did refuse them. I suggest trucker dude, you confess to this nation, how you pick up woman from town and try to sell them to Mexico....try that one on for size. I know who you are, and I will find you. and all you other truckers out there; better leave your hands of woman and children.......to one coward of a trucker man....confess your crime if you dare.....for I know who you are, and I shall help you confess soon....for there are people watching...waiting for your confession.....and if it is now, or later, you will confess and pay your debt.......

I have written another article. This one explains the events that led up to Warren's prison confession, his attempt to take his life, and how he later reclaimed this leadership. See: http://flds101.blogspot.com/2010/01/flds-history-101-warren-jeffs-torment.html

Let’s not forget how disgusting the Lord thinks we are, ladies. At one point, God actually placed monetary value on people and, as you can expect, we’re worth about as much as a share of Enron stock (Leviticus 27:3-7). Because we are so wretched, we are never to maintain any position of authority (Isaiah 3:12). Because we are inherently sinful beings, we must forever keep our mouths shut in church, letting our husbands explain anything we need to know (1 Corinthians 14:34-35). And, of course, we are always to obey our husband and submit to his every whim (Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1). After all “the head of the woman is the man” (1 Corinthians 11:3). We are to submit to men as though they were gods (Ephesians 5:22-24). Even older women must obey every command their husbands give them (Titus 2:3, 5). For the natural use of a woman is to be a servant and sex object for men (Romans 1:27).

easy explanation. the unbeliever's never see. And what would any of you know about people returning from the grave. You are stupid. even if you seen it you would not believe it. Read in the Bible about lazerus....the one who returned from the grave. The one who was a beggar and died beside a rich man and then he went back and came to the rich man and the rich man begged him to go to his brothers and he was answered, if they do not believe the Lord and the Prophets they will not believe those that come back from the dead....so we are out of here....some come back, the rest stay in hell and outer darkness....will you come with Jesus or cast to outer darkness in your filthy place....the un-believer's never see.....as filthy as you are.....for every thing on earth is a testimony of the truth of Jesus and the hour is upon you....it already came for me, and the unblievers never see...figure it out in your darkenss; it is impossible.....and the dead have begun to rise....and you can do nothing about it....traitor's and deciever's....and Mormon means more good. any thing different than that is sin.....

yes, and it is written, submitt yourself to the man as he obey's and submitts to the Lord.....that leaves me out of all your garbage. I am no mans slave. i am no man's servant. i am not silent. You who have smitten a perfect man...who will stand. and maybe that is why some men here feel like they have the right to assult and lie, but it is all written.....and the worth of a soul to God is great. he does all things out of love....

and as to L. Jessop, now I know why men abuse there woman. Now, I know why they lie, and cheat and steal, to get what they want, and think they done nothing wrong. Well, i am not stupid. I am not a sinner. I am not a liar. I am not an object. I am surprised anyone would even consider your weirdness. I knew a man who told me that God understands the nature of men, so he excuses them, but he does not excuse the woman. I tell you this. the Lord gave himself to the church, forsaking all evil. and a man is required to do the same thing. But when men excuse all their filth and ecpeccially with scripture....lets just say this. I pity the poor man. He is walking in darkness and the Lord is well off to take care of him....

and berry knole there was a man in salt lake who said this is just entertainment to him, but he is not being targeted. That does not mean anything. The Lord has a way of bringing people down to there knees. so you was all in your riches and glory why we was being targeted. that does not mean every one was honest and all. there are two ways the dead can rise. those who tried to destroy are feeling big, because they have anther victum and those who would have been destroyed did not, although they tried with all their streanth to do so.......we have risen and will tell your sins and what you done to the rightouse for a thousand years.....and after you also walk in the spirit world you will weep and wail and morn, for you could have chosen right.....and do you all think the Lord does not know what you have done.......and what you done to other country's you have done to your own.....

for here it is; why would a trucker man do what he did. It was not about work. It was not about money. It was not about anything but a trucker man was terrible. At least the Lord will heal him. Heal him and the debt will go to those responsible. I am grateful I never had anything to do with truck drivers. I wanted to be a truck driver. I should have done my own stupid work. THIS IS A PUBLIC NOTICE TO ALL TRUCK DRIVERS. ARE THERE ANY HONEST AMONG YOU, FOR WHAT YOU DO TO THE WEAKEST YOU HAVE DONE TO YOUR COUNTRY...SO YOU BETRAYED A SOUL....HOW HORRID. HOW HORRID YOU ARE. I THOUGHT THE TRUCKERS KEPT THIS COUNTRY GOING. NOW I KNOW YOU ARE....WHAT EVER WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A HORRID THING. I AM GRATEFUL I DID NOT KNOW YOU, BUT I SHOULD HAVE DONE THE JOB. I SHOULD HAVE GOTTON ME A JOB. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE DRIVING. WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SO HORRID. DR. LINSKEY YOU KNOW THE TRUTH TO. YOU AND MIKE AT THE STEP DOWN PROGRAM. WHY DID YOU ARREST WARREN? so no one would know what you did. Do you think that man who picked up Laurene I did not know. But he betrayed her too. Do you all think we really did not know and if you destroy us, what can we do? I would still love the Lord and you would still be what you are........WE went for a long walk. I picked the roses. now it is time for a walk through town. And I was not stupid. For all I said was truth......Why did every one cover up wrongs. It is weird to walk through town and see all the faces of this people. this people who hire our own govrnment to hurt......I am not in a lawsuit. I forgiven you for this horrid thing. Robert and this Trucker. i have forgiven you. but any time any one would have wanted, the liars and thiefs could have been punished. Any time.....whey then do you ignore what is in front of your face....It matters not to me, if I live or not. I did come back...and you know what I am talking about. My son came back and you can not take his crown. no matter what you do.......

I have been balanced in the heaven.. and now that I know you can not undo what Warren said no matter what you do, just what did he say would happen to the triators. what will be Dr. Linskeys fate? What will be Richards? What will be willards? what will be Marvins? What will be Sam Barlow's and Stephans? what did he say would be Alvins fate....no matter what any of you do to me, you can not undo the word of the Prophet. So he did not hate me, you did. You are the ones who lied. You should have seen Butches face when I told him that Robert did ban me, and protect willard in his debt. You should have seen his enjoyment as he decided to call another woman. All you who protect abuse should declare a national end abuse day.....all you that betray for glory and money....when Robert Knusdon has cleaned up my husbands debt like every one expected me to do, I shall shop in his store. And Dr. Linskey, can I be angry at you, when it was the men here who hired you. You was well paid. consider your debt to me paid......You and Mike both....consider that you owe me nothing......

and I am not talking about my abuse, I have not hurt anyone. I never cheat, and I never would have taken anything from anyone to see them suffer.....I would have given you all entire worlds to cultivate.....and you only had what Uncle Rulon gave you anyhow...what are you any how? who did you cheat? I could have just kept my mouth shut and Cane beds could have been built into a well cared for City, by Robert Knudson and company....it would not have cost the people in cane beds anything.....to bad he does not let every one charge up a bill. Just shelly and willard. that is all. every one else is thrown out because they are only seven and not normal. I guess normal people charge until they drop, and then every one says, "oh, we ani't the judge." only to not normal people who pay........

And now, for the other side of it. Dr. Linsky did tell me that he would write Uncle Rulon a letter of recomend for me. that was in the begining. Dr. Gesieci, did close my case, when Shelly was arrested in Denver. He was guilty, i was not. and what did Uncle Rulon say about me. He said Shelly was a son of perdition, not me. What did the doctor in Phonix say? With Donna it was not Genetic. And What did Dr. Twiggs say. the thing that I did think, that she fell from a swing, did not fit the story. and what did Utah C.P.S. say? they found no evidence of me being abuisive. and What did Willard say. every one hated me. In Flagstaf there was a doctor who wanted me to abort my children. I refused. This hospital did write me a letter and tell me that this one doctors view was not the oppinion of all the staff. so who was guilty. Most likely Shelly. Most Likely Willard. Most likly willard....Who else? I do not know, but the rest of you involved sure do know? was you guilty or inacent? tell the nation what you did to my daughter....Shelly lets begin with you. And when you are done Richard can have a turn. I already have Richard on tape, saying I did not do anything and if I did not obey him, i would never see my children again.....after Richards confession then we shall hear Willards and then Robert can see if he wants to keep there debt or not? that is the question? does Robert owe me for there debt? does he want to be scammed forever? Uncle Fred tried to collect. Uncle Rulon tried to collect. I am sure Art Blackmore tried to collect. Who else wants the money. Oh, ya merril Stubbs, Shelly was driving truck for you when he made a deal in Novia Scotia canada. this was a deal behind the buildings in a dark ally. i did not see what he traded, but I seen the money he did collect. He said it was Merril Stubbs money. It was a huge stack and he would not give me any. He had to rush back home to steal from all the people here....Robert Knudson do you really want that debt. i bet you had better let it go....before it goes...to the next greedy soul......and maybe this government can close its doors to Willard...and That Black dude they was looking for........I mean William Black....for they make anymore trades.......too bad you can not catch the one you looking for.......and all....to bad you let them slippppppppppppppppppp and punished the inacent.......

how wonderful it looks to all involved. our government can not catch the most nortourus bandido drug distributors, because they are all watching a woman who they hated and all. If they had watched he guilty ones they would have been caught by now.....too bad,,,,,to bad.....to bad....i have never so much as drank or nothing at all, and i never use street drugs and when I was forced on those medicines I did not need, it was because they was treating Richard H. Cooke and his bandito friends............and my mother never knew, because she never done anything with me from the time I was born until now.....I am alergic to chemicals. I am alergic to drugs. I am alergic to cleaners and their smells. you shall have to stake out a different person to snatch your druggies....and when you do, see that you catch them....before they slip, like willaim Black and his friends. Willard barlow was the one I seen in a car out the airport, making the drop..they fled when they seen me, so good ol' town cops, be sure and root out these people. The ones I knew that were here, left as soon as I sniffed them out. You may be bully cops, but you are slow at your job...and good by dudes who smoke your stuff. Please do not come to my city ever again.......ding dong. and mother, you, nor willard, nor your stupid cops had a right to read my letters....ding dong. if you was interested in stopping abuse, you would have called the cops on Richard H. Cooke and Willard, and Shelly instead of covering up abuse.....ding dong........

I did go and ask Issac and those people with him, who he did think would destroy me first. the apostates or the saints. who do you think will? Richard failed. Shelly failed. Willard failed. Dr. Linsky and the guidance center failed. Being homless and beaten by a creepy man from upper lake california failed? the plot in the general store failed. Who will be the one to destroy me? Lets take a vote. What about it Gary Engles....it will not be as easy as you think.....Why not persue Shelly as hard as they have me....That is what I do not understand? why are they targeting the inacent? could it be that if I was not here every one could just go on to the next Willard scam? that is the question.....who will finish the Job Richard and Willard started? that is the question of the day. robert failed? who will be next?

Posted new photos of the YFZ .. not as good as I usually shoot because I used a junky camera instead of my Canon 50d. New house ( red roof ) and sewer almost complete - other than that .. not a lot has changed..http://web.sccn2.net/flds/01-04-10.htm

all those buildings and the rest will be torn down and rebuilt when Jesus comes in the clouds and there will be no traitor's left. We have been invaded by the traitor's. when will the Lord clean it all up. He has said that what we are going through is not any different than what all people have gone through, right before the Lord swept the un-believers off this land. Although I write and testify of these things, do not think I of myself have the power to do what the Lord does. I am not he. I am just a messengar. and those who owe the Lord will account. Now, I know why crimnal's are favored and covered up. Now, I know why my brother's left. Now, i know why this government loves the men and their money. but in the end all men will have to account. all men..........so it is just a matter of time....and the Lord is very kind to me....

to the matter of the store, according to one witness, they said that these businisess have tried to clean up this debt for a long time. so, it is common knwoedge that Willard and Shelly are thieves. I would ask this then; why did not this information be given to the Denver court to help convict Shelly of abuse on children? He had three seperate cases against him that had nothing to do with anyone up here. Gary Engles why tell them I am stupid. Maybe he harrassed his victum's just like the people up here did. Let me ask you in Denver, in the Little suberebs of Denver; the three people, or three family's that did protect your children, did you think it was fair to the children? I do not, but at least I reported abuse every time I seen any of it....That is on record...and just so as you know, I forgive you all that covered up abuse...I forgive you.....

and here is a story of Little Scotch granite that Uncle Warren tells. Once there was a little boy who was new in a school. He would whisper to the other children and get in trouble. on there paper they had to mark wheather they where honest or not. He always marked that he whispered and got in trouble. soon he did notice that the other boys whispered and passed notes more than him and never got in trouble. he asked one boy why and he told him that he just always marked that he did not whisper. Little Scotch granite did keep a perfect record and another boy got the reward at the end of the year, but Little Scotch Granite got the award of being the most honest. or something like that....look it up in his records. It is a very nice story..........So, it was common knoledge that Willard and Shelly are thiefs....I already knew that....

and Uncle Rulon told them he forgave them. that does not mean that they were not dishonest. Uncle Rulon said he was required to forgive all men. I shall tell you this, all you men involvoed, I forgive you too.......over and out......

and one other thing before I leave; do not suppose I had anything to do with that Texas raid. I was in Texas a long time before they raided that place. I have never been to that place they have built. i know nothing about the people there. I did not say I loved Texas because of this raid. I loved Texas because that is where I met the Lord and his goodness and my heart does ride this Texas range. the people treated me nice too.......over and out........have a nice day Texas......

today I did again walk through the store. Two people did have the police write up a report that I was trespassing. I was told by this cop that I had to make a choice. I did tell him that I did think these people who did write this up, did not know their own business. am I to be forced? And It would be nice if they did take care of their own business. We were taught in our church, that the Lord is the judge and that is just what he will do. He will judge......I have broken no law....not ever.....not once.....Clean up your ownself....for I am not accountable to a dishonest cop....that has to get people to write up fibs, because he thinks he has the right to judge if I am in his church or not......Tis, not his busniness....and I am not a crimnal to walk upon my land.....why he covers the tracks of abusers...

I always thought it was the people who left the church that was the cruelest. I guess it goes both ways. I have been taught that we have no right to judge and to be kind to all men...........wish every one applyed it....life would be easy then.

course on this note, what a person does is what determines if they are in the church or not, so no bully or dishonest person will ever be in the church no matter what, for the minuet they partake of dis-honesty they are no longer members of the church. They are traitors to themselves....and Jesus knows his people....

Wow, how proud he and the police must be right now, carry around a gun and chase little Ruth, and ignore all the other crimes against children crashing down on them.

Well, today they feel real important, but when they face God it wont be pretty, they will want to go back to that little hell they used to enjoy, but it will be too late, their bodies will be under 6 feet of sand.

They need "Somebody" to perform in the Haunted Mansion. Maybe that will be their next job. They can haunt the YFZ Temple, or that Berry Knoll.

I am saddened that Robert Knudson and company chose to defend people who are dishonest and abusive, instead of people who are honest. Yes, they did buy themselves a debt. they have protected men who abused my daughter and I only pray that the Lord will have mercy on their souls.....for my daughter does cry from heaven for justace and I cry from the earth for Justace.....and the Lord does honor me........Robert Bought himself a debt....I am not in the middle of it...May the Lord give me the streanth to stand in my great sorrow.........my sorrow for being betrayed, again......

for Jonathon told me yesterday that I would have to make a choice. he had written up a few more people saying they seen me in C.M.C. Jonathon did tell me that he wanted to tell me what Robert would do to me. I walked away from him. I already know what Robert said he would do to me. He told me that I was not normal. He told me that I was like a seven year old. He told me that I was going to have to spend thirty days in jail. I offered to help pay for this debt. He did refuse and scream at me. Lorin Barlow, and Lynn Barlow, did muscle me out of the store. Lorin Barlow did tell me that I could not think. He did tell me that I could not speak. And Robert did call the cops and ask me if I understood now. I did understand all along. They protected abuse and covered it up. They have no right to threaten me, or to harrass me. I am not the one that owes the debt and if they would have cared, Johnathon would have cared about stopping abuse...That is all......they owe the Lord a debt, not me.......

Ruth - if you are no longer married to Shelley then you are not responsible for his debts. Would it be possible for you to go to Kanab to purchase your new dryer, rather then trying to buy one from CMC? You might try Overstock Outlet behind Ace Hardware. They often have some pretty good deals.

Don't listen to those who tell you you can't think. I can tell you are pretty bright.

Ruth- I want to add a positive comment here also- it's completely ridiculous to say someone acts like a seven year old that has the strength you show and the endurance you have.

A lot of people are rooting for you. You must keep reminding yourself of that!Keep focused on those people, and try to have as little contact with the heartless types as possible. There are such better folks in this world than these guys who are mean to you! The very fact that they say the things they do to you shows how much growing up they themselves have to do, and that may never happen, since they are so proud, and that cultural practice of giving certain men all that undeserved power will just keep bad men bad. So keep on keeping on- you have touched people's hearts and as I said, people DO care and ARE rooting for you. Colorado City is NOT, repeat, NOT an example of how this whole country's citizens usually are.Not by a long shot! Colorado City is very, very unusual in many ways- and a lot of what happens out there really has to change! There are a lot of people trying very hard to help, and make things better, and they are not going to stop trying.

I can get what I need. there are places to get good deals. I am comfortable and I will be ok. thank you for those that care. I am ok.....I do not need to go to C.MC. I have nothing to do with Shelly and I am not responsible for his debt. He is. I am not responsible for Willard's debt either. He is. i am not responsible for anyone else's either. I will order a dryer from somewhere else......I am ok....

I think it is interesting because I have been in my church for forty four years. I have never had a Barlow treat me like a human being yet. The thing that is changing is I am not letting them intimidate me. It is sort of childish to scream at some one and tell them they are like a seven year old, just because a smooth, talking Barlow man can insult a lady and then call the cops. Johnathon has been on the force to long and does not really know anything about anyone any how. If they treat all there cases like mine, I am surprised every drug addict and thief does not move in......good ol' boys....lets protect; right? as long as it flaver's dishonest Barlow's....There was some one I knew not to long ago, that said he could do something with a boy here and the boy would get arrested and they would over look him, just because of who he was. that figures......I guess our cops are just that, dis-honest cops. Except the people in his statement said something good about me.....Nice people I suppose...I just do not need their boss......I wonder what would happen if I broke a law, once. I guess I did. It was called talking to them.......and wanting protected when Willard beat me up.....

besides, I have found someone who loves me. I am going to school. I am going to do a lot of good things. I can not argue with cops or Barlow's no more......I do not need Robert and his rude Barlow employee's. I have a nice house and I shall stay so very far away from people who do not like me. I do not like to be yelled at. I do not like those people making fun of me....All the other people in the stores are very nice though.....That is a great big plus for here....besides Robert does not know me at all. If he did know me he would have liked me. I do not want him to like me now....I never want to see him again. I have a list of people I never want to see again. It is called "my list of rude people I never want to see again."

and really the only reason those cops do not like me, is because they beat me up and submitted there vidio to the county and got fired. They all say it was over religion, but I am not the only girl from here that said they was man handled and fondled....So I am not really complaining. I am grateful that some one checks on the boys here. And if those cops want to leave there hands off me, that is just fine. I never start trouble and i am not stupid, like they said. They just did not care about me, and let a man abuse me. And it would be forgotten if they would just leave me alone and I am not the one who fired them...so they can leave me alone.....and we do have at least one good cop here.....One very nice, polite person who is on the force. Actually two....but I do not know all the cops here. and people get worried when there is so much gossip.....but all in all, I have something to do besides argue. Now that I know what Robert thinks of me, I shall not go in his store, and I would not ever ask the state, to un-fire those cops who pounced on me.....It was the last thing I expected and did not see it coming. They did not tell me that they was going to arrest me or anything. And they totally by passed a court order......so, if they do not like contention, they also could try to stay out of it.....I like peace....

actually not going into the store is a blessing, because the people were so rude. They called me an apostate and cheated me. they think I am stupid and they think stupid people do not have feelings. I will not ever miss C.M.C. I am actually shocked that these are the people I did think was the greatest people on earth and that I defended them. I defended them, before I knew what they all said about me behind my back. Now that I know they hated me I forgive them, but I shall not miss C.M.C. Richard Cooke told me they hated me. I just did not believe him. Now, I do. I know that When Richard Cooke and willard Barlow told me that every one hated me and it was going to be easy to destroy my life, that they told me the truth. I did not beleive them at the time, but now I do. I guess that is the price I paid for trusting any one. I shall not ever believe that any one here ever did care about me, ever again, because I know that they did not.....If any one would have cared, I would have been protected, instead of the men who abuse.......So, they hated me...They will still have to account to the Lord....I am so sorry I did not die in that wreck last week. It would have made me and a lot of people happy.....too bad. I guess they was not praying hard enough for me to die.......I am ill and can not do very much any how....so they can all celibrate Willards assasination of my life......but when these men have to face their maker they will have to account for there abuse of me and my daughter......

I wonder what my life would have been like If I had ever been given a choice. I mean a choice as to do what we want, so we can destroy you, and do it willingly so it looks like it was you that chose it, or we will call the cops and beat you up. I wonder what my life would have been like if I had been given a choice for real. I miss Uncle Rulon. I wish I had died in that wreck last week....I miss Uncle Fred....I wish I had died in that wreck last week. Maybe if this people would pray for me to die, instead of beating me up and calling the cops every time I go out, I would have died in that wreck. They would have gotten what they wanted and I would be in heaven. Maybe they will pray for me to die, instead of harrassing me and beating me up, and I will go back to heaven sooner. Love has the greatest power. Here is a suggestion to the people who say they care, when they hate me. Pray for me to die. That may have more weight with the Lord than your cruelness.......and you will be rid of me forever.....

the reason men treat their women and children bad is because they are insecure and ignorant. They do not study the scriptures and the history of our faith. No where in the bible does it say to beat your wife and children. Joseph Smith never said to treat your women like trash. Do these men think they trump Joseph Smith? The priesthood is not for treating your loved ones harshly but for building up the kingdom of God. Trust me these men do not act all high and mighty in prison where they are likely to become somebodys wife. God is love and respect for others. God will act on those who do not respect his children.

so, there is a law, that you can not put some one in jail for owing money, unless it is owed to the I.R.S.....It is a good thing people are telling me the laws now. So, there is a law that men can not beat woman up and force them to give up all their rights. There is a law that no one can force some one to pay the debt of other mens sis, and there is a law, that all confessions retreved by force, are no longer legitamate, and can not be used in a court.....Nice, laws every one has.....and laurie, this one is for you and Carloline.....I have been committed by the Lord to not draw a sword. Since C.M.C is owned as a bussiness by Merril Jessop, according to the paper I looked at and I am sure Caroline and her disabled children may need Merril's food and Money more than me, I guess you better go after them for what they have, If you want........I stand on the Lord's side. I am not guilty of any crime. I have not ever broken a law yet. I shall toast Merril and Caroline to a happy, what ever they are after..........as long as I am not in the middle......

I shall be avoiding Robert Knudson with all my streanth. He is like all the other men who think the Lord gave them a licence to harrass and beat up woman for shopping.....I still will not draw a sword.....If he wants to finsh Willard's Job for him, I suggest he hire a lawyer.........

but seeing as how, all I ever had, was what Uncle Fred did for me, and I know he would not rob a woman and put her out on the street to starve to death, Like Willard and Richard done to me, and they owe Merril a considerable amount of money and people can not go to jail for owing miney, unless they owe the I.R.S. then I seriously doubt that you will collect any money, and again I have to feel sorry for Robert and his business deals. I wonder what these men will say to Uncle Fred when they have to account for what they stole from him, as he gave to them. I wonder what Willard will do when the Lord stops him from beating up woman and children and all his hired hands get tired of beating them up for him........Just kinda wonder... I know Willard told me that Uncle Rulon stood up and pointed at him, and said, "I told you to quit that!" I wonder if he will wait until he meets Uncle Rulon again or if all the men he has listening to his tales will quit harrassing me, before they meet Uncle Rulon again.....That is why I want to be in heaven... Uncle Rulon told men not to beat on there wifes and children.....every one else just pretended it did not exist........all they had to do is say that the woman was stupid and they had a lot of hired hands to assult.......

Right on,Stamp!- and Ruth, look, you HAVE to listen to people that are trying to encourage you INSTEAD of any garbage those CC guys ever said.

We are all responsible to make sensible choices in life-and sometimes we all make mistakes. If we've been burned in a certain way,well,we have to learn and change patterns and habits sometimes.Ruth,God loves you just the way you are!! No person on earth has ever been perfect except Christ, so you have to not expect that from anyone except Jesus. Plus,we ALL have some problems, Ruth- you are not the only one that suffers.The person writing this has had much mental and nervous suffering, knows from experience how important really good self-care is.-please believe me.Myself and several relatives of mine have needed much help at times with depression, and other conditions, over decades.Many people suffer all over the world with such things. It does not make us powerless or useless, not by a long shot. Sometimes people with "nerve trouble" are some of the most talented around.They have something to offer those around them, just like anyone else.

God is immeasurably greater than any flds leaders you have ever known. Many people still cannot believe the things that are reported about CC.You have no idea how many people want to do something good and right to help, but their hands are often tied for one reason or another.CC is a highly unusual place by American standards and it simply has to improve, there is no question about that.So many people have been born there that never know their rights as American citizens and it has to be stopped.This cannot be allowed for another generation.

Your life is serving a much greater purpose than you realize. Maybe you feel weak, maybe "by CC standards" you do not have what these "strong" people have that have hurt you and many others.This is all vexing for other people to know what to do, partly because religion has been so intertwined with it.Many officials HAVE been trying very hard to deal with these problems. So have many private citizens. People have to make a living and take care of themselves and their own households. Modern life takes a lot out of all of us. Ruth,HANG ON TIGHTLY TO JESUS.YOUR LIFE IS MORE VALUABLE THAN YOU KNOW. There are thousands of people all over the country and the world that care about what has finally come out into the press about CC.How do you know that God is not using what people like you go through, to keep the light on the garbage that these bad men do? He will indeed punish them, no matter when or how that finally happens, if they never repent to HIM- whether it is when we wish it would take place or not.Those who have suffered much will one day have more mercy than they ever dreamed of. Those that dish out the cruelty will have a lot more than they bargained for some day. YOUR LIFE and the suffering you have had DOES have an important purpose, believe it or not. The humblest people in this world are being used by God in eternal ways far more than people that are powerful in this life and have many earthly riches. Put ALL your trust in God, not in people,one day at a time, always. God sees everything.Many people you will never meet care what is happening.

I appreciate that. I know for sure I wish no ill upon anyone. I thank you kindly for your encouragement. I have determined to succeed no matter what any one does to me. I did tell them that today. I can not lift a sword and have determined to succeed. That is my goal. Even if All I do with the rest of my life is forgive and forgive, and forgive...I know I have not ever wished anyone ill......Thank you.....and frankly that is why I post on this blog. I am sick of being beat up, and treated like my husbands germ.....they would not even give me a trailer to live in before. All I got told for ten years was that I was hated. This man did take every thing I owned and put me out.....and I never was stupid or a crimnal....And I believe with all my heart that the Lord will handle these men, one way or the other....The ones who knew and cheated me, and beat me up...That I know......

and for the record, one of my brother's was asking me, if I was ever involved in Shelly's business deals. I never was. He did not give me stuff. I never went to work with him. I never did any paper work. I never made any agreements with people he worked with. All I really know about what he did is that he told me every one cheated him, and they all said he cheated them. I do know how-ever that Shelly and Willard did a business together. It was called finishing touch drywall. When Shelly was kicked out of the church for telling people I was bad, and Uncle Rulon told him he was a son of perdition for what he done to me, He{shelly G. Cooke} claimed that the other people in finishing touch drywall cheated him. Now, I am not sure who cheated who the most. All I know is it was Willard, and Shelly's name on the bussiness, and if it was not legal to be posted, why did those Barlow men put it on the counter, if it was not to play a prank on me. And I know nothing really about who cheated who the most....Just that Shelly did abuse my daughter and no one beleived me when i reported abuse and after i married Willard, he beat me and abused my daughter, and no one cared....And both of them owe her....She is in heaven and the time is not for-ever for anyone and one day Willard and Shelly will have to make an account for what they did to me and my daughter.......And Richard, and anyone else that helped them.....and I do forgive. what else is there to do. Why people are cruel, I can not understand....

i wonder what it would be like to not be beat up by a man. I wonder what it would be like to not be cheated by a man. I wonder what it would be like to not have to pay for being assulted by a man. I wonder what it would be like to only be around honest men. I wonder how many men feel like they are justified in telling woman they are seven year old, not normal, so they can justify assulting them. I wonder what it would feel like to be treated like a human being. I wonder what it would be like to have people care and be important. I wonder what it would be like to have some one care about me for real.... I wonder what it would be like to be rich and comfortable. I wonder what it would feel like to have My Mother care and tell me so at least once in my life. I wonder what it would have been like to have been told I was loved by my mother instead of always being beat and slapped. I wonder how many men here in my church treat there woman like trash. I wonder how many men there are here like Willard for real. I wonder how many men would hire people to assult them. I wonder what it would feel like to feel safe and protected. I wonder....I wonder...I wonder.....and I know that a lot of other people have trouble....I know that. I wonder why other's hurt other's when there is enough for all. Why do people hurt each other. Why would these men treat me like that. This sycyatrist in St. George did tell me that Shelly used to put me on a pedistle so he could kick me down. Why would men do this? And what did Willard gain by hurting me too.......Maybe I will never understand......why other's are cruel....I wonder what it would have felt like to have had some one care for real........

and I wish Robert Knudson would just hurry up and get his horrid punishment over with so i could get on with my life....It is thinking of his cruelty that is painful. I am used to men beating me up. He was threatening me with jail, and if he is going to demand it, I wish he would hurry up. Maybe he could hire one of those big men down there to beat me up too..they would not do this though. They are nice to me. It is only men in my church that beat me up.......and it is always for the same reason. They think I am stupid......i wish right now, I had not ever met Robert Knudson or ever went into the store......I wonder who is on Willards list to have beat me up next........

and I just now had it confirmed that Willard was Shelly's business partner. I think who ever put that list out for me to see, knew it would hurt me to see it. Really Robert Knudson is only guilty of screaming at me and calling me names. It was Willard and Shelly who cheated me and betrayed me. It is them that owe Robert Knudson. And why every one wanted to punish me for the lies and abuse of these two men, I am sure I just do not understand....but they rule the church here mostly by gossip. So all they had to do is keep that list hidden from almost every one and tell them I was just a retard and no one ever checked for the truth.......I know for sure Willard is a slick liar.......He is the one who beat me, not Shelly. LeeAnn cried because I had not been beaten before I met Willard and she had. I know that Jack did beat me with his belt and I could not get up. That was because i did tell him no to going to his bed...I did not care that he beat me. Willard was like that. It is not the beatings that hurt anyhow. It was that they would betray me so.......and I think I met the wrong men.......I think I would be glad if I never seen or heard of either one again...and the lies of people can not ever make the lies of these two men true,,,,,,no matter What Robert Knudson screams at me, and accuses me of. No matter what his horrid punishment is for the prank of who ever put this list out for me to see. It had to have been someone who knew what Willard and Shelly done to me, and knew it would hurt me....and it did and so did Robert Screaming at me hurt, and so did what he said to me.......and i am sure his punishment will hurt and then I will pray I never see or hear of him agian...for-ever and ever, and ever, into eternity.....for-ever and ever, and ever........

one day I will leave this horrid world for real. one day I will walk with the Lord away from Jonathon and cruel horrid men. One day i will be in that place forever where love is forever. One day I will be with Jesus and he will heal all the sorrow, and all the betrayal will not matter any more. One day I will be loved again by the Lord. one day he will heal me, and I will not have to hear the insults of People I loved and thought cared. one day some one will care back for real. One day, one day, one day....I always ask myself why they picked me to destroy. why did they hate me. Why did they throw me out, besides to hurt me. Why did they not care. It is not like every one did not have everything, why did they hate me. Why did they pick me to hurt? Why did they betray me....I knew better than to think they would care. Willard said they did not. He said that they would not. I thought he was joking at first. but now, I know what he told me was true. They hated me and they did not care if I lived or died....I wonder who he will hire to harrass me me next. I wonder what story he will tell them to make them cruel and heartless. I wonder why the Lord put me on this earth. I think it was to be beat up by men. I think it was to be hated. I think it was to be made fun of. I think it was to be insulted, until the shame of their words drown out your brain. I think it was to be hated by the people I loved the most. and they hated me and nothing on earth can change that. They defended liars and thiefs. Is there any place on earth that some one cared for real...I doubt it. Willard said they hated me and they proved it......why did that man say that horrid stuff to me. I never even talked to him before..I wonder if he is rude to every one on earth and if he thinks he will rule by force too, like every one else. I think that maybe there was not any Christian's for real here. Just people who try.....One day I shall forget them for real. One day what they said about me will be true and I shall have no memory of them and maybe one day the Lord will stop them from hurting people...maybe one day some one will care for real...maybe one day.....one day, one day, when Jesus comes agian in the cloud. one day when he comes some one will care...one day...

Ruth-There is an excellent book now available to read very easily, for free, online. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you (and anyone seeing this) look for it and spend time with it-you will find a lot of parallels with what you and many flds women have been through, what a lot of women in this world go through even as we speak.It details the kind of suffering that was brought into the lives of so many people by the practice of Mormon polygamy, from its very beginning.It talks about the detrimental effects of Joseph Smith's teachings on many men at that time.It talks with much insight and sensitivity about all kinds of women,good and not so good, and how their lives were fractured and tormented,making them feel guilty and betrayed. Many times they became guilty of outrages and abuse themselves because of the whole sordid mess thrust upon the minds of the people following Mormonism after Joseph Smith began teaching polygamy.It talks so excellently about a long journey of faith, doubt, fears, trials, the whole thing over a long period.It is really OUTSTANDING. It is called A Lady's Life Among the Mormons by Mrs. T.B.H. Stenhouse, and you can easily read every word of the whole book for free at the website called Shield and Refuge. (This website is completely devoted to showing how God never commanded the many abusive and immoral things that are done in Mormonism which were cooked up by Joseph Smith and perpetuated by Brigham Young and the other early Mormon leaders-it is directed by a lady that came out of the Kingston group and is now a Christian.-Shield and Refuge survives on donations from hundreds of interested people- I myself give a tiny bit to their work. A Lady's Life Among the Mormons is an OUTSTANDING description of all kinds of personalities and suffering, deceptions, etc that went on about 150 years ago with the early Mormons both in Europe and the US. I think you will see a lot that you can relate to in it,and to see that you and many other flds women (and even some of the better men, that try to live what they have been taught is God's will, but it is not, and it is also against US laws, etc.)You've had A LOT of company right from the very start of Mormon polygamy, regarding others' selfishness, and innocent people's suffering caused.I don't think you'll regret doing this for yourself.The author, Mrs. Stenhouse, grew up Baptist, got into Mormonism because her parents did in England,and after lots of stages of life, decided she had seen way too much abuse in the name of Mormon teachings, and left Mormonism as a much older woman because it just was not like the Jesus she had learned about as a young girl. It took her a very long time and many stages of life and experience to have the courage to turn away permanently from polygamous Mormonism.I honestly believe it will be a huge help to you to see this book.

I really do not care if Robert Knudson does hate me. He defended theives and liars. He defended abusers. Here is a list of people who did speak against me. Shelly Gene Cooke, who was arrested in Denver for abusing three children that had nothing to do with me. He is the witness Richard Henery Cooke used against me. I tried for a long time to get away from him. Now, I know why it was easy for him to hurt me..Second was Richard Henery Cooke, and he was abusive to his own children. I was nothing to him, just like Jack Cooke had no goodness in him. Richard Cooke and Jack Cooke were brother's and just alike. Third my Brother Marvin, who also has been very abusive to his children and has a daughter that ran away from him, because he beat her and left her locked in her room until the bruises healed, and he did forcfully take my daughter from me. And My Mother who has stood there why I was being beat and held the door so I could not get out, because according to her, I have not ever been worth anything and would not ever succceed. and if the rest of the world hates me it is only because they have heard bad talk about me, so I just do not care what anyone else thinks.......I wish I had not lived through that wreck, because being called stupid from the day I was born has definatly had is affect, and I am not stupid and I can not help it if my family is dysfuntional and abusive.....One day I shall be free of them and their insults.....

This is another public notice: I have washed my hands of people who cover up and protect abuse in the name of religion. Before the Lord and all these witnesses, I have washed my hands of these people who promote, lies, and abuse and cover it up in the name of religion...and think they have the right to afflict the inacent....according to the dictates of there gossip crowd.........

Shelly although you cheated me every day that you knew me, I stopped you from abusing my daughter. the last day you was in my house, I did call nine one one. you walked away from the law, because of your good ability to lie. Uncle Rulon said you was a son of perdition. He said to forgive. I have forgiven you. Your name is also not still upon the bad check list. I am grateful you did clear this up..........but I stopped you from abusing my daughter. You never seen her again. Just like I did tell you that you would not. According to your testimony, i did discuss Willard with you. I never have and never will. You and he did a business together. IT was finishing touch drywall. Willard now holds the debt. you claimed he cheated you. I know Willard cheated me, but neither one of you was my partner. You both were liars and theives. I had a custody order given me soul custody of my children. You was supposed to be paying five hundred dollars a month. And have insurance for all your children. Willard forced me to close this case. He did cheat you. And he cheated me. And neither one of you was my business partner. You was the one coming up and talking to Willard. You both plotted to destroy me and my children....and I will tell you this; it did not work.......YOur debt is still upon you. And willard has done far more in trying to destroy me, than you or richard Cooke ever done; if you can hold your head up before the Lord do so, but I stopped you from abusing my daughter....And cathy may be dead, but it was you she said abused my daughter too, and one day you will have to face her too......and every one here testify's that you cheated them, but Willard alone holds his debt, because i believe he did rob you of your company...such is honor among thieves.....he has not cleared up his cheating yet; I wonder if he will do it like you did, until he is caught with children just like you was in Denver. and I am not responsible for the debt of men any more...You and Willard will have to pay your own debt......Until for-ever I tell you goodby.....

and the only question about Willard Marion Barlow, and Shelly Gene Cooke the two men who owned finshing touch drywall, is this; Who cheated who the most? I would not know the answer to that question. I suppose you should ask the Lord who you cheated the most. Me, or each other. Since all I ever had was what Uncle Fred gave me, why you cheated me, until he died, it is really a question is which one of you cheated Uncle Rulon and Uncle Fred the most. I suppose you shall have to answer that question to the men you cheated for as long as I have ever known you...I wash my hands of you and it.....Your lies only remain visible for-ever with the Lord.....filthy as you are.....

And Laurie Allen, since you wanted money and glory and was willing to get it at any expence, I suggest you go help the poor people in California who were affected by that earth quake. Now, that your partner has died. Maybe you can help those poor people in Californa.....I suggest that you at least try to help these people in Californa, who were affected by that earth quake...it may help your soul to grow, for money is not everything......

Another article for your enjoyment. It explains Uncle Rulon's renewal. You thought Warren was in control. Actually, Uncle Rulon is still being sealed to wives, still having children, and is the one directing who should be kicked out of the FLDS. Check out the new article at: http://flds101.blogspot.com/2010/01/flds-beliefs-101-rulon-jeffs-renewed.html

I have not ever thought Uncle Warren was in control. I always knew Uncle Rulon was and is. I did not read your article. The veil has been parted for some; but the un-believers never see. Why, because you did not beleive and have closed your heart and eye's. I have seen mericle after mericle after mericle in protecting me, and I know it was and is Uncle Rulon who does this. He is the one who loved me. He is the one who cared. He is the one who protected me. It is written that one man in the spirit world can control millions of evil men here. Course you understand that the Lord never takes away a person's choices. But he does let a person go so far as to be guilty if they could have and he protects every one that is not guilty..and death is but a walk. I have walked and chosen to come back......Why? because I wanted too. that is why....what will you do when you walk?

it is weird that people even think jelousy as part of life. I was just going to tell Laurene to be careful. She knows as well as me what happened in the past. And it would suit a lot of people if me and her were just slandered and portrayed as evil, so that no one ever knew what really happened. It does not matter to me one way or the other. I have known all along that Uncle Rulon did come and go at his pleasure. And it is just as well what ever you all say. It matter's not to me a whit.....I wish you all very well. And lies will never make lies truth...never......I wonder how Laurene is doing. I am sure she is getting along just fine....I shall not tell you anything about me and the store. I am sure this is most likly the men who try to destroy me talking too. I never get jelouse. I have no clue the meaning. I feel like the Lord made enough for all. and I wish you who ever you are that speak to have a great deal of blessings together forever, with Laurene and her fabulous jobs, for-ever into eternity. I am beinging to understand why there is trouble now. Gossip, lies, slander, and insults.........and those never equated into truth. I have no clue what the trouble at the store was or is.......how, about you? do you have truth, or insults?

Saturday this girl did come into colorado City. She did look around at all the people who do ignore people who abuse and beat up women. She did talk to the Lady at the bargain center. she was very polite and nice. On her way out of town she picked up a gas can. That night out to cane beds there was a party and then a fire. Now, with how stupid the cops in town are, I wonder if the lady and the gas can were connected. but all they would have to do is flatter the stupid cops from town and who would know? maybe these stupid cops from town help cover up abuse in cane beds just like they do in town. Who knows right?

I have never been jelouse of any one. I wish Laurene did work at the store. It may be good for her. It may do Robert some good if she did too. He may have some compition in the scream and insult department. I usually do not get into confrintations with people, but I am tired of being blamed for what Willard and Shelly done. I do not even have bad feelings towards Robert. now, that I know he does not like me, I shall be staying away from him. That is all. If he feels like he has to be so big as to punish me like the rest of the abusive men here, I guess he can. What could I do about it any how. I have forgiven him. Just like I have forgiven every one else that listens to gossip and hates me, and insults me, because a man can lie and cheat and steal, and no one cared......

What they did is cheat every one they knew and both blamed the other for the debt. they owe this debt from the company they ran a long time ago, together. It is only a question of which one cheated every one the most. that is all. and that fire in cane beds was just a terrible accident.

i think that warren is just using uncle rulons name to cover up all of the evil things he did. oh i didnt tell you to do that it was my father...uncle rulon was not that evil but warren is. the faster we learn that the faster we can start to rebuild our lives without warren...we miss uncle rulon.

Now, I know why these men work so hard to make their wives look stupid. Val is dead....let it alone. what would every one do if they knew the truth? It is best to let the Lord take care of things. he is doing a fine job. Besides I am not sure anyone knows......

I sure does give me more respect for the attorney Generals watching these men from town work and operate. I wonder what they would do if there were only honest men here. They may not have to work so hard to make there woman look stupid.

these men here have to work over time to keep their lies covered up. And in the end they will be viewed plainly by the Lord and none will be hid. They can not hide themselves. It is impossible. They get a lot of money and brownie points and another girl to abuse. now, I know why they work so hard to make their woman look stupid. They would not get another victum if any one knew the truth. Now, I know why they work so hard to make there woman, look and feel stupid. I am very grateful the Lord does keep a perfect record. No abused woman or child is hid from him, and in the end the men will pay their own debts......indagents is what they call their women. Not all of the men are like this. Just the ones that are. With the Lord am a person. To the man I married I was a germ....Now, I know why they work so hard to make me look stupid......they do not want any one to know...the poor men will have to pay for their own sins if they did not have women to hurt and slander......

Laurene was arrested because there was a outstanding warrant for her.She failed to appear for a court case upon Val's urging and they went into hiding. Val had convinced she and the children that they were going to be thrown into prison. Instead, after Val's death Laurene was caught and let go after a couple od days. Val had kept his family under control by keeping them in perpetual fear for a few years.

I an grateful that I am not the Lord and do not have to be the one to judge these men. These men who lie, steal and beat their women and stir up every one to exicute what they feel is the Lord's judgment, when they only use religion and the Lord to make their abuse look good. I am grateful the Lord is there and when I leave this world, I shall never see these filthy men again. Men who abuse their women and try to make it look like they are saints by putting someone else down. I am grateful I am not the Lord and he is there. He has a place prepared for these filthy men. He has a place prepared that our Attorney General's could not prepare, for they have only this world's judgment and God has eternal Judgement....I am glad he is there. I am glad the Lord is there to pick up the battered women, after our men are done with their lies, deciet and filthy ways. Now, I know why they have to work so hard to make their women look stupid.....I am sure grateful the Lord is there......

I wonder if the Lord will have twenty men and their family's or only five, when he comes. With all the dis-honest men here, I am thinking it will be five men and a lot of women.....We will see, will it be five men or ten?

Now, I know why the Lord did not protect the Temple. Now, I know why I was assulted, by our people. Now, I know why this raid happened. I wonder if the Lord will have ten or five men out of the thousand's who agreed to serve him. It is written, leave judgement to me for it is mine, sayeth the Lord. That means all you men who feel like you have the right to aflict your women and children in the Lord's name; it is written, it would have been better if a millstone had been hung about your kneck and you was flung into the sea....all you who aflict in the name of religion......I am grateful the Lord is there waiting for you, when you go to visit him in heaven.......and you will have no one to blame for your abuse....

and if you hate me or not it does not matter now, you have filled your cup. You have tried to take judgment into your own hands and the debt is upon you...You filthy men who do all you can to destroy your women and children....The debt is upon you....and you all know what I am talking about...What compitition did you have? I will tell you...your own filthy lies..you have to work over time to keep them hid, but they are recorded perfectly with the Lord, so it is just a matter of time until you are put in your place in outer darkness....You filthy, dis-honest men, who use religion to destroy your wives and children.....I pity you really...I pity you, for you had eternal life in you hand and you threw it away for abuse...And the Lord is watching you. Try to hide from him, for no one lives for-ever and we are one day closer to me being in heaven and being delivered from you for-ever, and you will be thrust to hell where you belong...You men who use religion and law to destroy your wives and children........and you know who you are......I pity you, for you had eternal happiness in your hand and you traded it for your filth and lies.....

Now, that I know our cop's would help just bump me off, if I did tell the truth about these men and their abuse, I had better be carefuller what I talk about. I wonder how many souls they have helped destroy. Life is weird. cute, darling, inacant cop's when the county is looking, but to shut the woman up, they carry a heavy fist...Nice work guy's. I wonder how many women and children you helped abusive men destroy. No wonder our Temple was invaded......I am grateful the Lord is there with eternity in his hand, so I will not have to dwell with you filthy, abusive men for-ever......What would every one do, if they knew the truth. No wonder you have to work so hard to make your women and children look stupid......I am sorry I defended you to the world......I am sorry you were such sorry loser's. What you lost and did not want, I will have for-ever into eternity.....You traded your eternal glory for the filth and lies of a filthy man......i am grateful the Lord is there.......enjoy your day of visitation.......I did mine.........and I am glad I will not dwell with you for-ever....for no filthy, dis-honest man who destroys in the name of the Lord will ever walk into heaven, because Jesus is the keeper of the gate...and your debts you will carry with you for-ever in hell.....and it comforts me I shall not ever have to see you and your filthy decietful ways agian...no wonder men have to work so hard to make their women and children look stupid....what do you suppose the District Attorney's would do, if they had to tell the truth....poor men...the Lord is still there and their lies are not hid...I pity them.....those that destroy in the Lords name...I pity you.....

Well, I went in to talk to Robert about the store situation. He did tell me that he did not like me. He did tell me that I was a nucience. He did tell me that in order to shop in his store I would have to not talk about my life or religion. I did tell him that I did not need to shop in his store, and when I did pick up trash I would be sure to walk around his store. He did have me sign a paper saying I would not ever touch his papers. That was an agreement that he made me do in order to shop in his store. Since I very seldom ever touch other people's stuff It was an easy agreement. He did scream at his employee for trusting me. That is what I think hurt me the most. I made a sign that said, "let's clean up the bad check list." I did put this out. Not upon his property. When I did go into the store, he asked me if it was mine. He said that I could obvoulsy write, and wanted me to write this note to him to prove I was not retarded like he did think. I wrote him a nice little note, saying I would not ever touch his stuff and I was glad he was not interested in sueing me, because I was not interested in sueing him. I figured I would win on discrimination because according to his bad check list, these two men that cheated me for thirty five years had cheated him too. I wondered why he had not had them arrested and cops following them. It was a cute note. I then wanted to know why he stole my paper. He did think my stuff was trash and that excluded him from being a thief. I did promise him that I would not discuss religon or my life with him or his employee's ever again. his employee he screamed at for trusting me is going to be gone for a week. well, what about it can I write? I will write you a poem........

once in darkness I sat,listening to their tale.wondering at the words they spoke,and the darkness of their spale......

what a gale gossip can be,blinds the mind to what they see.fables, and foils, galore;troubles their tales caused.blackness upon the lip-idy....

and truth at times is caught,caught with me......with me.....with me....for they were blind as could be....

and when I work and build and sing...life is a wonderful, wonderful thing.....until I hear again the spill....of lies they loved to keep of me.

wonderful lies, they spit in spite...for they never spoke to me.and the good were hurt then too....un-suspecting that I was dumb....If they did not believe this lie...they were punished by and by....

blackness fell upon the street...blind as bats from gossip sweet.......can I write? and I seven or two? would it matter if I wrote again for you? life is sweet as sweet as sweet....as long as I do not listen to gossip from the street.....

and upon the record it is there. what would happen if they knew the truth? that was what they was worried about? what would happen if they all knew, I was not stupid and they defended traitor's now?

blind as blind as gossip is....terrible, terrible sadness.....but i am happy as long as I stay away from the one who holds the debt...at least they do not cheat me again...yet......just another insult....a legacy from the men who cheated me......

I do sort of like Robert after that conversation. I do think things are improving, here. Even the cops are being a little bit nicer to me........I should be very happy. I am to some degree...I hope all you wonderful people out there are happy too. And I am going to buy a lot from that employee when they get back and all. I do not like to be a nusience and all. I do not like people to think I am stupid either........besides I do not usually look at other peoples paper's. It was just the content that startled me. I think I will do all I can to stay out of debt. get out of debt and stay out of debt..........It is humiliating to owe money. It is humiliating that It was such a bad thing to do to look at this list....really I have not been near those men for ten years and I never did get in their business any-how; so Robert had a point..It was not anything to do with me, and I promise I shall never touch another one of his paper's even if it is posted hugely across the sky. I can not even begin to imagine how many people maybe charge or get deep into debt. Just the little bit I owe, is humilitating to me.... Here is a toast to all you people out there who want to be great, wonderful cops...It is a hard job, but some one has to do it.....thank you for your efforts.......Have a beautiful year...I am going too.....Ruth

One thing I know for certain. If that employee does not come back to their job, I shall never set foot in C.M.C. again. He was nice to me. He may be in trouble for being nice to some one they consider out of the church, but he is nice to everyone, so I do not see how it could be that. It was two men who are related to the man I married that cheated me, that was making fun of me. I think they are the ones who put out that bad check list to play a prank on me. And I think they called the cops in the middle of this sale to make me look bad. So, I assure every one involved if that is the case, I do not need C.M.C. any how. This store is owned by Merril Jessop. according to some report. And he is in a great big battle with Caroline. I have no desire to be in the middle of their argument....so if I am harrassed it is because they most likely do not want anyone to know all the things they have to keep hidden in all those papers. Other wise, I see no reason why it would have been posted out where I would see it, and why they would call the cops for me looking at it......I am not certian if Robert does understand the implications, but I have forgiven him.......I am just grateful I shall not ever see those two men again.....He did say he called the cops on this second man I was married to. If that is the case, I will let the matter be.....but if the employee who was nice to me, does not come back, I shall not ever shop in his store again........I feel like he is trying to do the right thing....so I have no complaint about Robert right now......I am not sure why this employee is gone. He may be doing something needing done, else where.......I am not certain......He is the nicest clerks. I like him because three men tried to get him to throw me out, one day when I went in there to shop, and he would not do this. he was one of the first nice people I met, since these other two men did abuse me and rob me......

I hope you all understand this is not just about money. It is about these men who abused my daughter. It is about this man who did tease and torment a little dis-abled ten year old girl. why because he could. He would lock himself in the bedroom and I could hear her screams. When I reported abuse all his freinds said I was stupid. and she is not alive any longer...I owe her this...I owe her this....He robbed us and tormented us, and it is his debt. My daughter was the most beautiful child and she did not deserve what he done to her. And his debt he owes is just another bit of proof that some people can be honored just because of a name, and some are hated no matter what. I loved my daughter with all my heart and he had no right to touch her......I still do love her, and she is where he will never touch her again. So, it could be that this cop is being nice to cover his own sins, or they are going to charge this filthy horrid creep, or they are all picking on anyone who is nice to me. I know Robert Knudson is predjudice because those people who drink and do drugs are upset at me, because i will not party with them. They invited me to a party and I did tell them no. The trialer this man they partied for burned down that night......and this woman who beats her daughter so bad and beats her for talking about it, was the one who invited me. Her Husband's mother and father shop at C.M.C. they talk to Robert. The do business with him. And there son does drugs and they walk around and tell every one he has siatica....and their other son lost their children because they did drugs too....and no one in town knows this about these people so it is easy for them to flatter Robert. They have money and are not considered a retard like me.....so I know how it goes, and this employee that got screamed at for trusting me and the ones who was making fun of me in the other part of the store, well one of them told me that they all make fun of this employee that is nice to me...so I can not believe that these people even pretend they love Uncle Rulon and treat each other with such dis-honest respect......and this man who cheated me and abused my daughter will pay his debt one way or the other. wheather I speak the truth or not. wheather any one makes him account for his lies and cheating in this life or not. He owes this debt to my daughter and the Lord....so Keven Barlow; read the texas poylygamy blog and know.......You will never be my prophet. You and your father covered up abuse...for you all knew what your brother was like......and it is your debt too.......and Jonathon, stay off my land......

There was six men who did betray me. Sam Barlow, but he betrayed every person he ever met. Stephan Barlow, but he was angry because Richard Cooke wanted me to marry Stephan and I would not. Richard Cooke him-self of course because he did abuse his own children for as long as my Father did abuse his. Just his children were cowards, like the rest of my family. I guess I would not say they was cowards, I would say they were afraid because they was beat so much. Willard Barlow, because he beat his first wife and teased his children constantly, and Shelly G. Cooke, because him and Willard were partner's and when Shelly got caught he made a deal with Willard. But I wonder why Jonathon did not like me. I know why Kevin Barlow did not. He was Willard's brother, and Alvin's son. They take great pride in not letting anyone know of their abuse.....except Alvin did openly beat children at school. Some one told me that he was reprimanded by the state. I am not sure if that is true, but that makes sense to me, why he would not do anything to correct Willard in his abuse....but Alvin told me that he was sorry that he beat his son's so much. I am sure he is...but that does not explain to me, why they all try to make me look stupid constantly. Why not just let it go and give me the same extention of space as they gave all these gross men who walk around as if nothing ever happened. Maybe it is because I am not friendly. Maybe it is because I do not participate in all the things they do....I used to admire Alvin Barlow. I used to go to church and hear him talk and think he was the most wonderful man. I wish I still had that illusion. Sorry, after what his son did to my daughter and hearing him say that I had a lot of patience and he did nothing to stop this....sorry, Robert Knudson, I have no admiration for Alvin Barlow. Being homeless and assulted by that man Richard Cooke hired that was camped on the resivor who beat me up, and kept disabled people captive on his ranch, and was being charged in court for abuse of another woman in California, I can not say as I ever will respect Alvin Barlow again. I only get ill to the stomic and want to throw up, when i see him and his son, that every one covered up abuse for........and tried to make me pay the debt for his abuse. You all knew what he done and my life was not worth anything to you. Sorry Robert, I have no desire to ever see or talk to Alvin Barlow again......And Sam Barlow knows what he done to me. So does Stephan Barlow.....and it will be with them forever...and ever and ever......and I am not responsible for their sins......

I will tell you all something very wonderful. Take a great big bag of feather's, and sew tow soft blankets that the dollar store sells some times or get some fleece fabric from Walmart. Sew this fleece up like a pillow, only make it fit the top of your bed. Fill it up with the feathers. Put it on top your bed. put a nice sheet on top of that and sleep on it at night. It is so warm and comfortable in the winter time.....I made me one last night. It is so warm and comfortable...It is so warm and cozy.......

Another fun article to boggle your mind. I’ve disected Warren’s 10 phone calls, his jailhouse confessions, and unraveled what he was saying and all the instructions he gave. These two days were probably the most truthful days of his life. See: http://flds101.blogspot.com/2009/05/flds-history-101-two-days-of-truth.html

I make beautiful quilts. I am glad some one likes something about me. do you know what is weird. I was reading this advertizement about this medicine that these lawyers are saying was recalled and it was the fault of the people who did give this medicine because they knew that it did hurt the patience and they have recalled it. Well, once I did take this medicine and I had every symptom. So, every one who hates me can lump it. They are not doctor's and the doctor's that gave me medicine I did not need had no right to harrass and aflict me. but they get good money and they pick on people like me that no one cared about. So, in eccence what these men did to me, they will pay for. one way or the other....but i am trying to put it behind me. I do make very beautiful quilts. It seems odd to think anyone would be my friend for real. I used to think I had a friend for real. That was until I got married the second time...then I knew the people I loved and trusted betrayed me, and never cared at all and would betray me again if they got the chance. But Thank you for the compliment. I do every thing very good and wonderful. The only reason I have not succeeded is I have had men lie and cheat me so much. Every time I even appear to succeed they swarm in on me and sabatage it. I wish I had not ever met them....ever.....can not change that..I do make nice quilts....have a beautiful day.....This comforter is so comfortable....I do not really get up out of my bed and do a lot. i have been ill since I took that med's I did not need. But I am very comfortable in this comforter.....

one thing I have found out. when some one decides they hate you they really do up there assasination well. And these people really hate me. You would think I was Willard the way they stalk me and harrass me....I sure wish I had died before I met him..........I sure am grateful that some one likes something about me....

I do not think dieing is the answer. I was in a wreck around christmas and was not hurt. the van was totalled and i was not hurt...so willard and his abusive lieing friends will have to find some one else to hate and persicute. Jonathon will have to find another victum........

It is weird because Uncle Rulon told Shelly that he did not own me. He told him that we should live together in love so much that we would weep for those that have not a hope of a gloriouse reserection. He read out of the book of mormon where is said to use herbs and mild food for those who have not faith to be healed. he told Shelly he was a son of perdition and these men who claim to be christians and the light to the world ran out and used a man who their prophet said was a son of perdition and used him as a witness against me, to destroy my life. and they actually think they are saints....they by passed every thing they taught.....every thing they taught in their church and they harrass and hound like dogs that have a rabid bite......I really do not care what they think about me any more. They destroyed my life and enjoyed it......and they put this traitor on a pedistle. and he is the greatest theif.....It makes no sense to me...none at all......At least one day is closer to the day I leave this world......for they are like rabid monsters.....I should have known no one here would have cared about me.....I sure was stupid......yet, I have to get up every day and live with the humiliation that I ever met them.....for they love abuse....

I am not really complaining. I know that it is written that the only sorrow the dambed souls have is that the Lord did stop them from continuing on in evil. I know almost all of you would love to see me fail. I know my doctor would have loved to see me dead...I know that. I know Sam Barlow and Stephan Barlow would have loved to see me dead. I know Willard would have loved to see me dead. I know that Marvin would have loved to see me dead. I know that Kevin Barlow would have loved to see me dead. I know that Jonathon would have loved to see me dead. I know that Richard Cooke would have loved to see me dead. I know that Lorin would have loved to see me dead. I know that Alecia would have loved to see me dead. I know that Shelly would have loved to see me dead. I know that. I know that. how, keenly I know that. willard said no one cared about me, and it was going to be easy to destroy me. I know it...I am sure you would have all LOVED, to see me dead........well, I am not dead in spite of you........and I am not ashamed of who I am. I have never wished harm on any one. I have not ever broken a law....and the day all these horrid people get there wish and I am dead will be the greatest day of my life......

and I know they hate me, because they over look every one's faults but mine......I know they hate me. Willard said they hated me. he told me he was going to destroy me and turn me over to Shelly. Well, he did not do this. He turned me over to gossip and critazisim and people who love to hate and destroy....I know they hate me...I KNOW THEY HATE ME. IT SHOWED ALL MY LIFE...SO ARE YOU ALL HAPPY NOW. NOW THAT YOU ALL HATE ME AND HAVE FOREVER.......AND HAVE FOREVER.......AND HAVE FOREVER....AND EVER AND EVER.......AND EVER AND EVER...SINCE THE DAY I WAS BORN...MY FAMILY HATED ME....AND THAT IS THE TRUTH....AND HATED ME AND HATED ME, AND HATED ME......AND IT IS A TERRIBLE TRADGEDY I LIVED TO SEE THEM AT ALL.

So, really all that was wrong with me, is these men that abuse and the med's they forced me on. It is weird because most of them are getting caught in there crimes and it is frusterating to me, that I was just a ginny pig to those doctor's. They did not even talk to me to see how I felt or what I did think. and now, after I am ill, they find out they was all crimnal's.....I am sorry I was rude to the person being nice to me........I will tell you about me....The real me...i am very smart. I have been tested as above average. I am very kind. I do lots of things to help every soul I ever meet. I feel things very deeply and would do any thing I could to help any person on the earth. I make beautiful quilts. I am very kind to anamial's and they like me. Children all like me. They always have. I make beautiful quilts and draw. I grow very good gardens and hike. I clean and cook very well. I like people and am very friendly. I can build houses and decorate them. I am very well skilled in language. I do things for people all the time for the fun of it. Money to me is not real important. Although I have to have money to live. I feel like being nice and kind is more important. I love my life. I love me. I love who I really am. I have not ever been given a chance by the people who have been in my life, but I did not dislike them. I wanted them to love me, and love is not a thing that they give. I have to forgive and over look that. I have beautiful hair. I have beautiful eyes. My skin is beautiful. every thing about me is beautiful, which at times gets me into trouble, because people get gelouse of me. the people who do not like me do not know me. I can go any where and do anything. I never let myself get in the mold that most people are in; so I appear as odd. Most people follow a system of tradition and do not know themselfs that it is just tradition. I stand out and am a distraction to great busniss men, because I am not in the mold. My doctor hated me for going barefoot and as he said, singing and dancing........what ever. I like me and am not going to change. the gossip I do not care about. And if I want critazised, I certainly do not need a doctor. all I have to do is go home and walk through town....they think that my soul is lost and the Lord could not possibly love me...But it is because they did not care a whit about me.....and never knew the real me. My children were taken away from me ten years ago, by a man who turned out to be a child mollester and it hurts very deeply that these people did nothing to stop him from hurting me...most say they did not see anything he done. That is the way it always is. years later when the thing is done, every one say's oh, ya, but.....sh. sh..sh...it is humiliating...but maybe there is so much abuse out there my story just does not matter. I was reading my records from ten years ago, before these men were caught and I guess I should not ever look at them at all............one day I shall forget....forget how they hated me....

and the weirdest thing is if I had ever had anything in my life, besides men who forced and threatened and insulted me, and if I had been given a chance ever in my life, I most likely would have been a great intertainer and been loved by every one upon the earth. except people Like Richard Cooke and his followers that never cared about themselves. and his hired abusive doctor freinds...and all.

Ruth, I saw your comments about your quilting. I admire women who can do that sort of lovely work. Do you sell them? Or do you just make them for youself or as gifts for friends? Do you have the ability to post a few pictures of them? I would love to see some.

I sell my quilts if anyone wants them. I do not have photo's of them. I am going to get me a camera soon and take photo's of them and sell them. You are right. Change what I can and leave the rest to the Lord. I know I am a beautiful person. I am not on medicine. I am alergic to that stuff.. I never needed that stuff at all, and what was said about me back then was not true. I guess what upset me this time, is I did see that list of these two men owing all this money and no one would ever call the cops on men here who lie, steal, cheat and beat up women; but they sure never miss an opportunity to harrass me. LIfe is weird. I know I am a beautiful person. thank you....Yes, I sell quilts. I am going to school to be an architecture too. You are right. Leave Judgement to me sayeth the Lord...and all those people who think the Lord could not possibly love me, know nothing about me. Life is weird.......but I love life....it is good...if you look at it the right way.......I witnessed a mericle in that wreck. that van was totalled. It was laying upside down on the freeway. I was not even scratched. This van rolled three time; it flipped end to end, and the driver did not even get a ticket. insurance covered the van and I walked away. So to me that is the Lords directive...look to the future.....

and Laurie Allen, you were wrong. Some one will know what you did to me. It is recorded in heaven. I was not brain washed and stupid and even if I am murdered because of what you did to me, you can not sink my ship. For the Lord loves me and it is being recorded what you did and how you hated me and what you would do to destroy......

Wow 2010, here we go. I have looked up all the blogs concerning myself and it is interesting how inaccurate they all are, especially the one that said i was charged of rape of a child, wow that one was way off the mark. if you would like to know the real story of M.D. send me a message moronidraper@yahoo.com

Another article for your consideration. This one covers in detail the 2004 purge, when Warren kicked out 21 men at a prayer meeting. This article follows Joseph I. Barlow, where he went and what happened to him. It reveals Warren’s paranoia and hatred toward those men. Also his twisted rationale for taking their families away. See: http://flds101.blogspot.com/2009/05/flds-history-101-2004-purge-and-joseph.html

dear moronidraper is is just a question about your own integrity. Are you guilty or are you not. It is not a matter of what you say or what you can prove or not prove. It is a matter of if you are guilty or not. It is a matter of what you did do. It is a matter of when you lay down in the grave will you go with Jesus in great glory? that is the question and you know the answer. It is not likly, I shall ever do anything with you at all.

do we all not have so many troubles we have our hands full, and yet do we not all have such great joy, that we are enlightened beyond reason......Like Doctor's that know they hurt inacent people and all. Do you know what is weird. Uncle Rulon said gentics was a tool of the devil, and doctors abort baby's and act like they are christians and all. But no matter what the reason a person uses to hurt another soul, it is just that they are cruel and heartless. doctor's have no right to hurt children. Born or unborn. and I hope you all are helping the victum's of that great earthquake.....One in Californa and one across the sea....for no doctor that ever takes a childs life, or injures one will ever walk with Jesus.....even if you do not believe this..course I know that you already know. for your darkeness and debt will follow you forever...and ever and ever.....and no one has a right to injure...no one...The Lord gives life and it is his right to judge and judge and judgement, mercy and justace are all in his hands.....even if you do not believe it....

and besides. no one in my church ever abused anyone. They was all drugged by the government and harassed and harassed until they confessed...anyhow......right? so every one who is abusive can put on their two hats and pretend until the Lord comes in his glory. He has picked his people.....

and to suppose that it is known what you have done Moroni, I am sure you know. I do not know you at all. It is not likely I shall ever do anything with anyone, so it is safe to say, i would not do anything with you. tell your story if you like.....and do you all know every thing, that you write on this blog? do you all know anything at all? that is the question? gossip is a terrible tradgedy. unless you know it, then it is not known and unless you see it, you know it not, and unless you experience this or that, it is not known. and gossip is a terrible thing to carry...The Lord is the judge. you all know your depth....carry it....I know for sure, I do not want to hear about children and such accusations. There is a law against such bad things on the internet. If you have something to confess or discuss, then carry it to OUR GOOD OL' DISTRICT ATTORNEYS....HOW IS THAT FOR A PLAN.......THEY LOVE CONFESSIONS......unless of course you are not guilty...then they want you to look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful and send them a check for one honest soul....right?

RuthYour poem was beautiful, and shows how deeply you feel about important issues in your life.

It's good to vent how you feel, whether you do it on a blog or if you write it down. I feel so bad, you have had to endure a lifetime of sure cruelty. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been. No one, even if a person is disabled, they showed be loved, and cared for and encouraged to be the best person they can be. You have walked a long hard road, and you have traveled a long way, alone. No one should be alone. Those who are guilty, show their guilty by being defensive and ugly to others, to try and cover up their own guilt. No Ruth you do NOT owe your husband's debt. He owes his own debt. You have shown yourself to a strong woman, a worthy woman. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Your certainly not a stupid woman, nor are you mindless. You have learned through may trials, God is your strength, not MAN.And you have learned by experience these lessons. YOu will be in my prayers Ruth, that God will arm you with the strength and knowledge you need to be self confident in all you do. God loves your Ruth, he has always loved you, because God loves without conditions!

that was so sweet. It brought tears to my eye's. Tears of love and sweetness. I am so grateful that you care. I have found one other person who loves me too. A lot of people make fun of them, but they are nice to every disabled person and they are very sweet to me. I have mixed feelings about love, because I am always hurt by people, but I love very deeply. YOur words touched me a great deal....Love is great. I shall always love this person, and thank you a great deal for your encouragement......well, of course Jesus always loved me, so insults of men just wash away...for I know Jesus loves me...

I will speak this relating to the aspiring Barlow's. Truman Barlow did distribute drugs around town. He was a gopher. Sam Barlow did betray people who had been abused. HE potected men who did assult women and children. He was the lie, and the buffer between the government, so no one would suspect anything. Slick tounge...and all. Louis Barlow did try to declare himself the mouth peiece of the Lord. Alvin's boy's and all had the prescriptions from the doctor.....to satisfy the eye of the Attorney's. No one would know any-thing. right? just good ol' barlow boys at work......Uncle Rulon told me that some thing would happen to the big wigs and the rest would not get out fast enough. He used to tell them to come out in the open, YE COWARDS.Richard Cooke reprinted the sermon's to make virtual slaves of the women and children...blind obedience...that is what they demanded. and in blind obedience the women and children had to submit willingly to their own destruction.....all signed and beautiful by Sam Barlow, Stephan Barlow, and company. These men are heartless cold hearted murders......And if you do not believe me, then you be their friend......and it will be you they destroy. Seth Cooke is one who would tamper with a car, or anything else to get what he wants. He is being sued by his wifes family, and his wife before him, had friends that said the same thing....I was in church, when the hammon's and timpson's were put off the stand. They were not told to leave the church. They were told they could not teach. And Uncle Rulon said what would happen to the big wigs a long time ago....And they can lie to the world and each other, but they can not lie to me...these filthy horrid Barlow's. and I wonder if the man who ran his car off the hurricane hill was a friend of the Barlow's too.....most likely......and the house fires....most likley there glory too.......these horrid creepy Barlows.......oh, was it hid? only on paper in the Lord's book...and will be recorded for-ever and ever and ever, and ever.........try confessing to the Attorney General's and safe us the agony of hearing your creepyness......For Barlow's are traitor's too......of their own souls, and trying to eliminate me too.......and we know it...............are you going to be their next victum?

That is the question every person should ask themselves as they participate in trying to lie and decieve. Will you be the next victum of the Barlow's, their slick tounge, and their force, and their drugs, and their, slander, and there aspiring to control through force, dominace and lies? will you sell your own soul to defend traitor's. You who hear, read it and weep, for you all know it is true...why did William Black leave. with all this government has to offer to protect it's people, and one little tiny town...they could not even find this drug producer.

and Val betrayed his wifes and children. He betrayed me. He tried to cover it up and in the end, he lost too. We believed and trusted him, clear until the end.....then we knew.........He tried to get back in good with the cop's who betrayed right at the end, but he had his time up. The Lord took him. He had no where else to go to get away from himself.......and that is how it is with the Barlow's that betray. I was a statistic. Just a number on the list of souls they did help to destroy. I lived. Many did not. Other's also have lived. They chose to come back to tell the story. To protect and tell the story.....And really only the Lord protects and Seth Cooke will lose his case..........

Im interested in Seth Cookes case,can you tell me where to find the paperwork for that? I agree Sam Barlow was the devil himself, he hurt many people, so did many other men in the church. The problem is, where the barlow's left off, Jeff's and Jessop's took over. Lieing, Stealing members hard earned money, time and labor. everyone at the crik blames wisan,, but had Warren Jeffs not been stealing and selling members donated land, wisan wouldn't have been appointed to the trust. I would also like to know who is still selling drugs in the crik?It's still happening and all the innocent looks and happy faces aren't concealing taht very well.

The reason they could not stop the drugs is because one of the policeman are dishonest. And You know how talk is. Seth Cooke has not ever done anything to me. I do not get involved with his personal business. I think if his family that love him, love him it is not my business. Are you well educated with Seth? are you one suing him? or are you just curious? And maybe one of the cops are not dishonest. maybe they are fools like the rest, who are deceived. But if you want to know the truth it is there. Yes, everyone who wants to know the truth know it....and the question is who besides me and about twenty people do not do drugs here, or drink and all. You can not find the drugs because they are not wanted to be found.....Who is selling them. I do not think anyone sells them. These drugs....they may buy a bit, but who sells them? that is a good question. Right? well, Big Barlow's grow little Barlow's. Right? if they can not get their drugs from the street, they get them from a doctor. All they have to do is look pretty, pay a lawyer and stir up gossip, and walla; free drugs for their idiot's....I mean wives. and Wisen I know nothing about. Not at all. Not one whit.. Not one Iota....and no one has sold our land. It is here.....no one can take the land. Not a whit....Wisen, or warren, or Barlow's or Jessops or steeds, or anyone can take the Land. The Lord owns it...and he owns it alllllllllllllllllllll. and it is written that after the Millianium, and after the battle of Mog and Mogog, the earth will die, and be reserected, and all those who have murdered, and betrayed and hurt, will be cast off the earth to their own place, for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever...and ask Seth about those paper's and who is suing him. Maybe his family decided to love him and all......but Wisen must be wiser for all deceit will, turn on themselfs...I mean if he cheated to get the land, and the people he helped cheated to get the land then he is going to be cheated in a matter of time....that is all. for cheaters cheat. and when their cup is full, they turn with greedy eye's to see who to cheat again...and if we are gone; who will pay the bill that you rob from us? that is the question. when there is not any one left to cheat and hurt, who do you think will be next...You or them..........

and frankly warren was not here. He could not have been selling land. and government paper's can be defective. All government is, is someone hiring a lawyer and all. It does not mean that something is true just because it is written in a paper. Sam Barlow and stephan proved that. Ask Seth about this law suit. I do not know. I do not want to know. Maybe his family settled out of court and settled this dispute, for half his stuff. He is not stupid. Why would he have paper's on this. Start with the ticket he got for taking a car to Salt Lake and trying to get a car company to take it off his hands. It was wrecked by some one who does drugs and drinks....besides, I do not really know anything. Maybe I am being paroniod because that van wrecked so baddly why I was a passanger, and I seen no reason for it to wreck, except when the driver went to push on the brake, the van lurched forward and Seth said it had a warrenty problem they was trying to get fixed, where the gas peddle stuck down when the brakes were stepped on. Besides you can tell who sells these drugs by looking them in the face. Just think Truman is still here. So is some of his boys. And Sam was hanging around town, and I heard that William Black was back here. Who harbor's him? most likely the same people who did before.....And some one in Salt Lake told me that the cops did look the other way when they was in trouble but would arrest a different boy for the same thing, just because of a name and who they were. and when one man protects a person for a name, it is hard to tell who all the crimnal's are....that is why the Lord is nice to know..He never lies.....I do not blame Wisen. I know not a whit of him...i was gone when William Black was given a free pass, by Sam and his goons. I was gone when the Barlow's took more victum's. i was gone when Spencer Black and company tried to sell this land....and warren was not here. I was gone when he put these tratiors out. But I know what he said is true. I was one of their vitum's.....I was for certian, and no ammount of lies will convince me different. Yes,, get Seth to tell you the truth. It is not like other's do not talk of what he done to them. He just never done anything to me, unless he in truth did rig that Van to wreck. Ask him about it.....And then in truth he never done anything to me anyhow, for I was not hurt, but that Van was totalled.....and he owes someone else the debt. If he did not then I spoke out of turn, but it will not stop me from wondering, just like every thing else....Just like every thing else.......but the Lord has it recorded....and it is written forever, the entire truth....for-ever. and paper's with lies on them can never undo truth at all.

I found a court document from Washington County, Utah dated September 14, 2005 where Moroni Draper pled guilty to 2 counts of Sex Abuse of a Child. These were both 2nd Degree Felonies. OOOO serious crimes!

He was sentenced to 36 months of probation (instead of going off to the Utah State Prison) and he had to register as a sex offender.

I guess that's how he got his picture taken and his child molestation charges listed on that other Utah Department of Corrections web site.

You can see the sentencing court document here:http://www.scribd.com/doc/2626409/Moroni-Draper-sex-abuse

that is gross, and sick, and as to the question of who does distribute drugs, I do not know. I do not use them. I never have. I never will. these addicts do not tell me there secrets. they just think I am stupid and i am glad Moroni Draper did confess his sins, and was listed. That is sick and gross. He is gross. I can not imagine anyone hurting a child at all. I do not like hearing about this gross stuff. gross..sick...gross..keep it off the blog, please..keep in the law....for this gross stuff does not belong on a blog.....and I hope all you people reading this blog and doing drugs know and understand, I do not want anything at all to do with you. I just hope I have the courage and the guts to throw up on you if you ever even talk to me again. and I would just advise you to give your children to someone who cares.....who will love them...

do you think I did not know Val betrayed every one he ever knew. Do you think I did not know Val betrayed me and them and they? Do you think this did not hurt me so deeply that it hurts still today? Do you think I did not hurt from his betrayal....Do you think I did not know? I watched it....I watched it and it was me that was hurt. Hurt just like always for helping someone...Course i know Val betrayed a lot of people....Laurene said this until the very end....then when he lay there dead, she felt remorse and pity and great sorrow...for she had lost what she loved and wanted the most...and believe me, I was not what she wanted, and Val was not what I wanted...Yes, Val did hurt a lot of people and his friends can stay his friends...for they are his.....and his....and his...and his...for he betrayed me, just like the rest.....May his soul rest in peace and now we can forget....for get the one's we trust that betray...for the pain is too great.........

You ask how a person could love another that hurt them. This my friend is what keeps all abused people with their abuser's. they need that love. They need it despratly. they are willing to get yelled at, smacked and all, for those moments of great love, and then the betrayal comes...and over and over it goes, until one day the abused person meets some one who cares for real. Then they say, "why then did I feel so stupid that I thought his abuse was love?" and that is what kept them there in the first place. Thinking they was stupid and no one would love them. that is what they was told so many times and the sweetness of their abuser's sweetness, is like peaches and cream, until the next betrayal. and the cycle starts all over again. that is why I did tell the Lord I was going to make so, very sure before I ever let a man touch me again. ever. I am not desperate for love any longer. I found that out. sure, I found that out....I have a weight all my own...that shows.....so people were gelouse of me. i am a distraction. I keep people from their job. All come out to see me as I walk down the street. That to me say's one thing....I was very beautiful and wanted.......those men who abused me were hardened and had no right to touch me...What they did had nothing to do with me. It had to do with their cruelty...and i can go where I like and love whom I love.....and that my friend is the reality of abuse and abusers.....they only have power to hurt through illusions....why did I love at all. I think it was because of the Lord...He loves abusive people. He does not like them to be abusive and does all he can to stop them from hurting anyone, forever and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever......and he does this because he loves them and does not want them to hurt other's.....

and your marriage system hurts more than ours does...by a long shot..none of you most likely ever did feel love at all. Just the power games, but I felt real true love, and it will last for-ever and ever and ever and ever. Long after the memory of these bad men fade, and after all the lies and the dust are gone. I shall love this man and his friends that love for real, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever......and the generation of this people will fall into dust, for all men die, and all lies fall, and I shall love this man forever and ever and ever, and it shall be forever and ever our love.....and that is that.......

i dont believe anything happeded at the actual olympics per se, but i sort of remember the FLDS leaders saying that they were praying for something to go wrong because the LDS were trying very hard to distance themselves from the FLDS and they did not want peolple from the outside to take notice the FLDS and think that they were "mainstrean" Mormons and thus applied unneeded attention and pressure to lawmakers to do somethind with the FLDS. I could be way off but that is what comes to mind.

weird, how things go. I was here then. I did not hear anything about all the talk I have heard since. I only remember Uncle Rulon saying that the times of the Gentiles had been fulfilled, and the millainium had begun. for him it had. HE is in peace always and was from that hour...for the faithful are protected and the unbeliever's never see. And Joseph Smith wrote the Prophacy about pestialance, hail, faimine and earthquake, will sweep the wicked of this generation of the face of the earth, and that in preperation for the coming of the ten tribes from the north country.......and he said, when we go back to build Jackson County again, there will not be so much as a yellow dog to wag its tail in oppostition. And he said that Jesus would be our law giver. He would go before us. and he would be in our rearward....and the history of the earth is written, from the beginging to the end....and no man lives forever and then they have to go to Jesus and make an account. may your report be one of glory and beauty.....

"marriage system?" What a way to put it. Polygamy was ALWAYS illegal in ALL of North America,regardless if what ANYONE wants to try to rationalize, and it should remain illegal, for tons of reasons. Monogamy (or, frankly, "decent-living celibacy"(yes, it DOES exist))is vastly superior to polygamy for women, and quite frsnkly, for men also.. and certainly is best for the poor kids. In short, if one cannot find a decent person to marry, then just DON'T. You know who you are, people have tried so hard to be patient with you-Quit preaching that polygamy is "better" (such hogwash!) and some kind of answer, because it is and will always remain an insult and affront to common decency,where ever it is tried, no matter the culture or income level involved.It is a pure and simple disgrace. FAR better to be a self-controlled "single" person-(it is a true blessing in many ways, trust me.)(Celibacy is WAY under-rated especially these days!)For God's sake,consider life well worth living without all the obligations connected with legal involvement with someone, and go forward each day like the valuable indiviudul God made you ..and that made each one of us (those that do not mess up as badly as some deservedly behind bars!)The New Testament makes abundantly clear that God made some people to NOT marry, to live just for Him- and that it is of at least equal value to be "single" as to be in married life. As far as polygamy goes, it is no solution whatsoever to any relationship needs and should remain illegal. It is a complete desecration of one man-one-woman marriage which Christ describes in the New Testament, which rightly remains the bedrock of western civilization, and any other "form" of "marriage" remains vastly inferior to that, when it is decent, is mutually considerate,the daily give and take,unselfish from both parties,as Christ designed. Polygamy is a disgrace and always will be. Man has gotten away with much since the time of Adam and Eve that Christ made clear was NOT God's plan or purpose. Polygamy in the Bible was NOT God's command or ideal at ANY time, teaching otherwise is just plain false.I repeat- get rid of all those false and twisted mormon writings. Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and all their ilk were lecherous, twisted liars and extortion experts, and they are in the pit as we speak.Their writings are blasphemy,and deserve no place in a proper home.I will never back down from one word. All I have just said is based on thousands of hours of study and observation.

I also want to add:(based upon my own same already-mentioned extensive reading,observation,talks with former polygamists, etc.) The astonishing mountain of breathtaking criminal offenses so far gotten away with,practiced for many decades by these North American polygamy-centered "religions" is a continuing black eye on the US. Female children being groomed from their very birth as sex slaves and baby machines for men old enough to be their fathers or grandfathers,young boys made to feel like the lowest form of life by their own families just because they are having normal feelings as they grow into and through the teen years-while the old men collect harems!!It is all astonishingly hypocritical, heathen madness merely cloaked in prim-looking prairie dresses and pre-meditated but very deceptive "innocence." These groups make constant attempts to focus the spotlight away from their own incredible criminal sexual conduct and many related underworld-type activities.Daily they get away with stuff no one else in the US would ever be allowed to, in the manner they have so far. The adult women in these compounds and flds enclaves who have helped to keep this travesty going absolutely should see real punishment also for aiding and abetting all of this. These people have always known they were breaking numerous laws that others must obey in the US.They must not be allowed to feign ignorance of US laws and they must not be allowed to perpetrate this madness any longer within US borders.

You speak just like a woman who was a drug addict and abused by her Mother. she had been in and out of many marriages. I would think you hate some religion. Find in the scripture where Jesus has given any one person the right to judge. You say marriage is for one man and one woman. Is there honestly one man on earth that has had one woman? And how many divorces have there been in America? and can you say that no child in these one man, one woman relationships have ever been hurt? So, we are attacted for religion? I already knew that. For it is written in the scripture's the condition of the people upon American soil. They are Un-believer's and if Jesus came today with all his wives, Like he did in his day; he would be persicuted just as he was....now, if you ever get to heaven, you be sure and let me know all of his wives names..in the meantime...I wish you well in your one sided religious views....for it is written and is an American law, that we can worship who, where, and what we may. If any one---and i mean-----any one, makes a law, cantrary to that, they have broken the law of the land and are a traitor to their own country. Do you now fall into this catagory? I am not asking you to answer me. Answer you...Look in the mirror and into the eye's of Jesus who lived and died so you could be reserected and ask him to give you a very clear cut answer. When you have become an expert on what Jesus thinks let me know and we will discuss all the reason's why he made the law of the land as he did to protect all, and I mean allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllreligion....and smile when he tells you that he knows the nature of men, and he made men to have women, and woman to love one mannnnnnnnnnand I shall love whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooI want, no matter what you say or do....and I shall keep my Mormon religion, and I shall keep my Bible religion. And I shall keep "God and my BIRTH RIGHT" are you going to shoot me for that. It would not stop me from walking with Jesus and loving who I want to. and when I get to heaven, I shall walk with Joseph too. and live with a man with five hundred wives.....and I shall be happier than you have ever been one day of your life...with all your divorces and contentions....for my love is eternal..from worlds to worlds to worlds, and your hatred can not stop that...one whit.......

The Book of Mormon is really a clever adaptation of an obscure, unpublished historical novel written during the War of 1812 in Conneaut, OH and Pittsburgh, PA by a down-and-out ex-preacher named Solomon Spalding, a Revolutionary War veteran and bankrupt land speculator who died at Amity, Washington County, PA in 1816 and lies buried in the churchyard there. Prior to his death, Spalding had complained to friends and relatives that a draft of his novel, A Manuscript Found, had been stolen from the shelves of Pittsburgh publisher R.& J. Patterson, by one Sidney Rigdon. This same Rigdon later became one of the three principal founders of the Mormon religious movement along with co-conspirators Joseph Smith, Jr., and Smith’s cousin Oliver Cowdery, an itinerant book peddler and sometimes printer. According to Who Really Wrote the Book of Mormon?: The Spalding Enigma, it all began as an elaborate get-rich-quick scheme which Joseph Smith himself referred to as "the Gold-Bible business" in an 1829 letter.

I can tell you have not ever had a spiritual experience. I hope you have one real soon. Do you think I am so stupid as to believe that? I just forgot one thing.......There is a frog out in the pond. I love this frog. It is cute. It is cuter than any man i have ever met. It does not argue and contend. It does not make laws against laws to hurt people that disagree with my religion. I like My frog. It is a cute frog. I did find it twenty five hundred years ago. it is just waiting for true love, so it can make a million laws against monogamy...........and if you read in real History.....I mean before they did attack the Indian's and say they was not people and Before That French man did come and look for the City of gold and destroy all those Indian's and Before Columbes Sailed the sea and go into the Roman Empire, you will find that all people lived with many wives until a band of bandito's did steal some woman. They did not have enough to go around, so they made a law that there could only be one woman for these men....and that my DEAR AMERICAN FELLOW BEING WHO HAS A RIGHT TO LOVE ONE MAN AND A FROG IS JUST WHERE MONOGAMY DID ORIGINATE FROM, AND IN YOUR STORY BOOKS IF YOU KISS THIS FROG IN TRUE LOVE YOU SHALL HAVE A PRINCE WHO HAD A CURSE CAST ON HIM, BECAUSE HE WAS UNFAITHFUL TO THE GIRL HE WAS BETROTHED TO AND HAD TO WAIT A LONG TIME FOR REAL TRUE LOVE...SOME IDIOT WHO WOULD ACTUALLY KISS A FROG. and I am not critazising those who love frogs. That is your AMERICAN right.....and I have the same right to love my religion as you do your one man, army of divorces...........Kinda liked the way that sounded....All right...my religion was founded in the world before this one....sorry to critazise your limitations........

Ruth, I am done attempting to communicate patiently and supportively regarding you.I do not live in your part of the country but I have studied what goes in with the flds and similar groups extensively, and seem to have had far more experience in a number of areas of life for one reason or another. I am going to say here and now:You are a disrespectful and inexperienced person in many areas. I am just stating the truth as I see it.It has become pointless to try to speak reasonably when someone with your lack of understanding of most of life outside of flds areas and non-flds living in general is the main problem. Your experience in life appears to be limited to an extremely unusual part of the US which does not even observe many laws the rest of the nation does.I am not saying it is your fault, because it is not your fault that this is the case.Hundreds are trying so very hard to help you personally and the many victims of flds hypocrisy and tyranny.

You also continually analyze my life entirely inaccurately every time I post anything critical of the very system that has produced most of your misery, yet which you defend. You would be very surprised at the difference between what and who you think I am, and who I am.I have been, and probably will remain very interested in the polygamy problem that exists in the US, but I can tell you for sure that it has become a complete waste of time to read the things you say. You simply do not have experience at all about many things you rail on against,and you are outrageously insulting of those who are patient and tell the truth. I am sorry, but I have to say this. I am a devout Christian and was never abused by my dear mother. You are a sinner yourself except for the grace of God, Ruth,as we all are, and I daresay you do need help rather more than those you rail against who have tried so hard to be patient.You are out of line much of the time and it is wrong for the moderator to post many of your blogs.You have several good qualities, there is no doubt of that, but you are really rude and shameful sometimes, and need to face what flds lawlessness has done to your own thinking.

"You say marriage is for one man and one woman. Is there honestly one man on earth that has had one woman?"

Yes, there are MANY men on earth who have had one woman.

My great uncle just died recently, one year after he lost his beloved wife of 70 years. She was the only woman ever in his life.

My uncle has been married to his wife of 50 years since he was 19 years old. Even when she was on the other side of the US for a year pursuing a graduate degree he didn't even look at another woman -- instead he sold his business and moved to live on the East Coast with his beloved wife while she earned her PhD.

My son has been married to the love of his life for the past 7 years -- the got engaged at their senior prom and married a year later. He'd rather cut of a vital portion of his anatomy than betray her in any way.

You may not know any men who are faithful in nature, but I know plenty. It says something sad about the men you know that they are so faithless.

"When you have become an expert on what Jesus thinks let me know and we will discuss all the reason's why he made the law of the land as he did to protect all, and I mean allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllreligion...."

Polygamy has never been legal in the United States of America. It was illegal before Joseph Smith decided to use religion as a tool to get in the pants of many women and it was illegal after he got caught doing it. It hurts men, women AND children and no loving God would expect it of the people who loved Him/Her/It. The Constitution gives you the right to believe what you want to believe -- it does NOT give you the right to do whatever you want, however. You can believe in plural marriage all you want, but you cannot legal act on that belief in the United States of America. If your God insists that you do so, then as an honorable and ethical person you are pretty much required to move somewhere where it is not illegal.

we have a law in America saying that no man shall make a law against religion....and to the person who says I do not know them. You are right. I do not. I only know that to target someone for religion is silly, and on the other hand you know nothing about me, either. And who is to say who is the most of a sinner? Are you the Lord that can judge? All I was saying is when You are just a perfect expert on what the Lord says then look me up....Until then try to not judge me for my veiw's. And to the person who said they did not want to help me, I already knew that. I suppose you all think I am a brain washed retard...and so you have the right to judge me and punish me, right? and I would suggest that you go help all those poor people that a great big earthquake just put in dire need.......and try to prepare for the next one. Some one said Joseph Smith was not knowing what he was talking about. what then is these earth quakes, and tornado's and sunomie waves, and illnessess upon the land...not to mention the war that has been going...I voted for peace, love and charity, remember....and do not blame me if you dislike me. I already knew it...Why do you think the Lord does protect me..if it was not because you hated me for loving him.....and what is rudeness, and I would not care if the person running this blog, did not put anything I said on here. I would not care a whit....more power to them, and you......but do help the poor people who have been injured. And besides, I already knew I was hated. It shockes me sometimes when someone is nice...and they are at times....and if they block me, I hope they block you and I am grateful that some one has been married for an entire lifetime.....that is encouraging.....and besides that, you have no clue who I am....

and if it means anything to you, I am sorry I did speak how I feel about religion and fairness of laws. I should know by now, it is not ever me that is entitled to an opinion. I must always stay in that empty box and follow tradition, so as I do not stick out like a sore thumb.....but I shall give you a very formal and beautiful apolagy....I already knew I was hated, and I already knew I was hated. and I already Knew I was hated...course I did...I do not want saved from my religion. I want saved from insults and persicution. And if I was to be like most every one else, I would have to be mean. But I will give you this promise....I will save the moderator from having to block me, or me from ever insulting anyone again....Goodby Ya'all enjoy your boxes and tradition.......

That is the only way these men here look big; keeping me in their box and screaming at me, because I feel good and do not fit their profile of the creepy men they protected and hide abuse for...Yes, I am sorry I did speak again.....for I am supposed to be in a black empty box, so all mean people can look good.........poor dear, I was not blocked...Hated yes, blocked no.......

I am reminded of my family who thinks that being mean, makes me bad....I am sorry I was rude to you. I never want to be like those people who dislike me and do every thing they can to make me look bad.....You are right. I know nothing about you........and I am sorry I did speak about you at all. In all truth I am sorry I ever met most of the people I have, and what they did and do have nothing to do with me, or my religion. I believe in giving all men freedom of religion and being fair to all men. I do not believe in supporting evil and persicuting people who have been hurt and when they ask for help, they are called names and ten years later, it is discovered that they are very evil sinners and are cast out...and du? what do you think I tried to say...so you are right...I do not have anything at all to do with two faced creepy men, who try to exhalt themself, by making me look stupid....so you have my apolagy for speaking and if you hate me with all your heart and soul, you will be like the men who did and do try to destroy me every day........and if you succeed you will be far greater filled with hatred and persicution than any man i have ever met in my entire life............and I would give you a toast, for if you succeeded in destroying me for real, I would be with Jesus and never see or hear another insult in all my life and I would never see these horrid creepy men again....and I would rejoice that you succeded in running over me......

I will go for a walk tomorrow and give you a great opportunity to run over me, for my sins and then i will be walking with Jesus and will be in great glory. SEe you there......and in the meantime, all you people who cover up abuse, turn yourselves in........

but keep in mind, that I am not the one who is a great sinner. I am not the one who tried to cover up evil. I am not the one who does go out and hurt anyone. I am not the one who makes laws against freedom. I am not the one who wished to be punished for other men's sins. So, I am sure you will not be out there to run over me........just in case you are, make it swift.....so I do not see it coming....Then I can be with Jesus in great glory and never hear another insult in all my life........

and then if I am ran over, you and the man I married can sit and celibrate and drink together......He will think you are so darling. He never even had to pay you to try to destroy me........He will laugh and chuckle and chuckle....for you will have succeeded for free, what he paid a lot of people to do.......and I will be free of him for-ever and will be walking with Jesus........

some times, I do not make myself real clear. ten years ago, this man was abusing me. I did ask for help. Every one thought I was stupid. And ten years later, I came back to town to find out that this man and his friends had been put out of the church and judged for their abuse. And I was left standing there thinking, "I wonder why when I said what was happening it did not mean anything to anyone." and then I came to the conclusion that no one cared about me. I was wrong. I am loved. I am loved by the Lord who knows all things....So, just say good things, and I will too. I am grateful that I am not anyone's judge and the only time I ever get hurt is when I love some one and I am stupid enough to trust.......so, I am sorry I hurt your feelings. You who are a total stranger, I know not....and I really never let anyone into my heart...That is when I am hurt the most....I used to be stupid once and trust someone I loved. They hurt me too much I suppose...so just know I was not intending to hurt you with my words............Maybe your Mother is nice to you....Ain't you lucky. That is more than I ever knew....A Mother who cared.....She loved every one in the world but me.....so maybe I was stupid and you was loved.........

"I believe in giving all men freedom of religion and being fair to all men."

I believe in giving men, women and children the freedom to be loving and kind and to think for themselves. You are welcome to your own opinion and no one here seems to hate you. However, if you venture an opinion as a fact (which is what you did) then people of other opinions will voice them as well. I have read the Constitution. There is nothing written in it which says a religion can do whatever they want. People may believe what they want but if they act in ways that violate the land then they will be prosecuted, whether they say their religion calls for it or not.

If you want people to respect you, it is good to respect them. Telling them what kind of a childhood they had or that there are no faithful men is not respectful. You could have asked instead. I realize that you simple behave the way people around you have always behaved, but you are aware that the people around you have not always been nice people and I don't think you want to be like them. So this is an opportunity for you to learn new ways of talking to people.

Finally, I can only speak for myself, but I don't care about anyone's "sins". I believe in basic kindness and decency to people (which kind of includes not accusing them of things they haven't done) and following the law unless there is a compelling reason not to (like the law requires you to hurt an innocent person). "Sins" are between the individual and their deity.

You're right, I don't know the entire situation -- the FLDS have done their very best to make sure no one outside their sect do or will.

Yes, it is okay to observe that people behave the way they've been taught to behave. The obsession with NOT being judged while simultainiously passing judgement on everyone else is not unique to the FLDS and it has produced a predictable pattern of behavior.

I wasn't the person who the poster was judging -- that was someone else. My posts always have my name on them (or else I put something underneath with my name) and the person being judged was anonymous.

People who judge others while feeling that they are beyond all judgement are usually just modeling the behavior they learned in childhood. It is consistant with all religions and cults that teach that the members are the only righteous, saved, true believing humans that their deity loves and everyone else is damned or at least lacking.

You are kind. AT least you can say you do not believe in judging a person for their sins. that is nice. This people here for the most part are very dis-honest and act like they are exempt from the law of God. And they are not in any way a light unto the world; although there are some people who are very honest and will get their glory. I am ashmed that I allowed myself to be caught up in the dis-honest ways of these wicked men. I am not the judge of the world....and I should not critazise others......I believe all men will have to pay for their own sins. I am not responsible for them at all. and the man I married would love it if I was destroyed. but that is not an excuse for me to be rude......

and it is true that they have to work very hard to cover up their evil. They have to work very hard, but it is their burden and their choice and is not me. they will have to carry the weight of their lies and deciet forever. I will not...All I have to do is forget them and that they ever existed.....

Ruth The men who abused you weren't put out of the church because they abused you. They were put out of the church because they stole money from Warren Jeffs. You see the leadership doesn't care really that women or children are abused, they turn their heads, as long as the men involved give, give give all their money to the leadership. But when someone tattles on a man for holding back money from Leadership, Then they get handled, and sent away to repent. Ruth, you should care whether these people are judged, because if someone dosen't stop them, they continue abusing women and children. The Storehouse was supposed to be for everyone,, and their needs met. But how many times did those in charge of the storehouse refuse someone help? And why? Because if you refuse someone help,they have NOTHING! Nowhere to go, and No money to get there. You say we have no right to judge Ruth, yet Warren Judged men, Sam Barlow judged, Lyle jeffs judges, so do anyone in leadership. They aren't God either ruth, yet they judge families, and children. You say it matters not that they judge you,, but It DOES bother you ruth, because there is no compassion in their judging, no sound reason for the judgements they hand down. You believe in God, and follow God, and God is NOT happy about the FLDS has delt with families,or women, or children Ruth. Just as repentance is between the person and God, not between the person and Warren Jeffs, he is NOT God.

I did dream that a Texas Ranger did come to help me. He wanted to know why I contended with what the Higher up Texas ranger said. I did tell him I did not know he was a Texas Ranger. He did shake hands with me and tell me to let us part in peace. I have no argument with Texas. I love Texas, and I did not switch sides. I am not Warren's judge as you all appear to force me to become. He has not ever harmed me.....and as to judging, Leave me alone in that matter too. No man had a right to touch me at all.......Or to tell me who to love or who not to love.......and I Tip my hat to the Keeper of the Star's. He sure knew what he was doing, when he joined these two heart's. I owe every thing, to the Keeper of the star's.......And to you Texas, I tip My hat....for My heart is riding your range........

RuthDo you not understand that Warren Jeffs runs everything??? Yes, even from jail, he is running everything. When they ran you out of CMC store, it wasn't on rohbock's orders,, it was on Warren's orders. No one does anything without warren approving it. And of course Warren never personally harmed you,, he wouldn't get his hands dirty. He had other men he would call to do his bidding.

How many remember the good old days in the twin cities? I remember actually enjoying "the work". That was until Warren crowned himself Prophet going against more than a hundred years of tradition. Ever since his reign began we have had more public interferance since the raid. He has brought more trouble than good. All of our outside troubles are because of him and his minions. It is not prophesy that forsaw our troubles it is because of the selfish doings of one man. If we choose our Prophet like we did in the past the last eight years would have been much different. Our fathers would not have been kicked out because one of Warrens buddies wanted his wife, and our brothers would still be here to carry on the work instead of being made to leave because the old men wanted the younger girls. I believe a true Prophet would not molest his children and allow others to do it at will nor would he allow so much mental and physical abuse happen to wives and mothers. Gods mouthpiece on earth would not allow so much to go wrong so fast when it didn't need to be that way. WE SHALL KNOW HIM BY HIS FRUITS. Well so far Warrens fruits have been sour. I no longer can have faith in him.

The police did not care. There was a man sitting there, saying I was stupid. He ruled with tyranny and force. He knew how to shut a person up. And no one cared. It was written in the record...the entire truth...and It is written in heaven. This man did call the cops, and I was robbed of every thing upon the earth. I was like the boy called it...Stripped of my home, my cloths, my money, my children and told God hated me.......and there was no charity upon this people. I was fed by the street people. I was clothed by the gentiles. I was given rides by the stranger's and there was no charity in the city of the saint's, and there light was blindness....and the guilty men walked free, and abused again........and I did live....YEs, i did live...........and it is written in heaven the deeds of these abusive, corrupt people. But not all here in this city are evil and corrupt....but they are all blind to some degree, as I am also....or I would have stayed in heaven...when I had the chance....and there was no freedom. There was no rights for me. Until this horrid man was thrown from my church........and the LORD has smitten them...and it will be for-ever and ever, and ever.......for their deeds stain there hands, and corrupt their minds.....and is is because of their choosing.....

they have been forgiven. They have been forgiven. Look at all of every one around. Who then is with out fault. Forgive and forget. That is why judgment is the Lords.....I am grateful he is there and i do not have to judge......

You must keep in mind that those cops have been fired. They did have no right to touch me. I am not there property. I am sure that their family's are feeling tough, but that was there choice when they assulted me. And also the man who ordered our destrution is not here any longer. He has no power to hurt any more. Not here any how. So do not think nothing has been done. And any other man who touches me will pay the price for assult too. I have not ever been insulted or beat up by any cop out side of my city. They treat me like a person. They treat me like a human being, so I am not real worried......I think being homeless was a lot better than living with that horrid man, who as gone to pay the debt to the piper......and I am not Laurene speaking. I am just another statistic and victum of the same man as did assult her and swear to destroy her and Val....as I am a witness to his boasting and bragging in his attempt to do this thing...and is responsible for breaking up many marriages, by flattery, deciet and force and just plain meaness............Laurene was his victum three years before me. I was so shocked to find out she was a sweet Lady. I was shocked to have walked a victum to this horrid man, because he could flatter and before it was my turn, he had me buffiloed into thinking Laurene was stupid and that is why they had to treat her that way. He is so horrid. So as you read this just remember that man is not here any longer. He went to pay his dues....and I will not ever see him again. Those cops did get fired and have no power, except to stir up other people around here to dislike...and gossip can be that way....but those cops have no more power... and if any other's ever touch me, they will lose too. for they have no right to treat woman like trash...but so far the one's who are working right now, are like human's. If they dislike me, I can not tell........and they have not thrown me down and beat me up, like the last one's. So, I really am not complaining any more....Keep that in mind. It is not like the county just sit's back and lets cops beat up woman, and rob them...

and the county cops are not stupid. They are very nice and very professional. And so are the attorney's. so, I am not complaining any longer. I have a house and am very comfortable now....I may not be the greatest most well loved person in the world, but I still am not complaining. I hope no other cops have to lose their job over gossip and harming me...that is all. I like them really in a way. especially after they lose their job. For then they are like nice men who mind their business......they keep their distance, but mind their business. I hope they found a job, that they promote peace in....If it is possible for men who think they are above the law to do.......Men who think because some one is stupid and gossip is bad, that they have a right to pounce on some one and smack their head on the ground and twist their arm around them and throw them to the ground, just because some horrid abusive men complained and they never took the time to ask a question or find out what was going on......

and so, I was hated, just like the man i married said. He knew what he was doing. and he knew how to stir these men up...tis' a pity though that they paid the price for his abuse.....He could have been arrested and every one would have had peace.........but I was not hated by every one....I am loved by a good many too......and I could not ever say I dis-agreed with the county for firing them....no matter what the reason they think they was fired for....some said it was religious persicution. I say it was too, they was persicuting me, worse than I have ever seen...and I am not complaining any longer.....so be cheerful and smile......they will find them a job that does not include beating up woman....and throwing them out on the street to....what ever they thought we would do after they assulted me. i can only speak for me. I am not sure if laurene was beat up like me, but she was banned for being nice to me......that much I am sure about, because the man who swore to destroy her, bragged about what he was going to do, because she said and did some thing nice for me and to me.......

and that is how some of the men here are. If any one is nice to me, they go try to bully them into disliking me. They are failing though. and every one who lifts their hand to smite me, pays the debt for assult. for I promote peace and bully's have to account one day. and are really cowards. I mean what kind of men go behind every one's back in the dark to assult woman and hurt children...those men are only cowards....cowards and bully's.......and thier lies stick to them like a rug, laid in a mud puddle.....

and these cops said that they hated me. they said they could write the report up any way they liked. But that was not true, because they did not get away with there abuse. there is only one cop on the force that is the same. This is Jonathon. I think he would see me destroyed if he could. It is his family that harrasses me at times. Well, just one person who really makes a lot of trouble for me. I suppose Jonathon will have his turn at losing his job if he does not get over trying to wrest my life from me. I do not really like they way he goes about stirring up trouble. I think cops should be peace makers and all his friends should be peace makers. the trouble is that they defended crimnal's instead of Justace and truth... and sworn cops are sworn to protect the rights of all people, not go out of their way to stir up trouble and hatred.....but that is what I got for thinking they were honest men.....they cover up for men that beat woman and children. They cover up lies for these men.....and I suppose they have their day coming....Their day of Justace.....for all men have to pay a price for their lies....and they are horrid and cruel....these men who defended abusers.......

He had to think of a plan, for he knew that if he could not get his family back, Warren would never allow him back into the FLDS. Getting his wife and children back from the outside world would be the ticket he needed. Although he hated his assigned wife, he needed the children most for Warren's forgiveness. A plan was hatched, once his family was in his grips again, he would keep them in isolation and fear.

Ruth is going through what many of the who-knows-how-many flds and other cult victims must go through- victims of the mountain of lies they were raised inside of-about Joseph Smith and all his imitators,and all false leaders throughout history-..all she has to do is read the New Testament,accept only the Living Risen LORD Jesus as her only King,whom she has always been seeking,and do this without any mormon blinders on.She must get rid of the mormon writings and thoughts in her life forever,which she was taught to revere wrongfully, which takes time.Her huner for God is obvious-only the real Jesus can fill that in anyone.Many others have broken free from mormonism, sometimes after more time than people like Ruth,they have done it and are thrilled when they feel and see the heavy chains made of mormon-lies which finally,wonderfully fall off. She and all others that wish to can certainly keep the hairstyles, clothes, all outward appearance things they feel comfortable with as long as they wish. This never had anything to do with any of those surface things. This has to do with getting the true Jesus first in one's heart, and turning away from all idols, such as false leaders and false teachings, for good. That's all.But it's critical and there is no substitute for this process.It takes some many years, others, just a little while. But it's well worth it.

sorry for the typo- "should read her (Ruth's)HUNGER for God is obvious" (what is a huner? very sorry!) God bless you Ruth-it is JESUS only, Ruth- The King of Kings and LORD of Lords .He will return,but coming from Heaven,in great glory- not from some earthly jail cell after countless mind changes and countless manipulations and false pronouncements. The real King Jesus is not the one portrayed in mormon beliefs. He is far better than that false portrayal.King Jesus has always loved Ruth and always will. He died for you on that cruel Cross of Calvary-and He arose, conquering death, sin, fear, forevermore. He will never die and no chains hold Him. He is the King you want, Him alone. Crown no other in your heart any more Ruth.Best wishes in Jesus alone,ALWAYS, to you.Many prayers going up to heaven to King Jesus alone for you, and all flds-Daily.Believe it.Rest in it.

believe me my Lord Jesus is my greatest friend and no man can take his place in my heart. he is the keeper of the gate. With out him, I would be hoplessly lost...May he triamph in all aspects of my life....for-ever and ever.....

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