Mara did come back later on yesterday and I didn?t give her too hard of a time. I can tell she frustrated that I ?m not making progress in my shielding training.

This datapad is password secured, so I guess it is safe to admit that I?m purposely not doing the shielding properly. If I learn to shield then Mara wouldn?t have a reason to be around me and I?m really not interested in spending long hours with Jedi Skywalker.

It?s not that I dislike him; I just haven?t worked through my emotions about being his clone yet. I often feel less than human and to be honest, I?m a little jealous of Luke. He grew up with a family whom I assume loved him. I?m sure he had friends that he played with as a child. I don?t have that?I don?t have any fond memories. I was created by an insane Darksider to help him carry out his evil plans for galactic domination. That?s some birthright.

I guess I shouldn?t be too jealous of Skywalker. According to Mara his father was the Sith Lord that chopped Luke?s hand off. She told me this in an effort to make me feel better about C?baoth creating me; she wanted to point out that Luke was also the byproduct of a Sith.

I?m like ?Hello, Mara?I?m Luke?s clone.?

So now I know that not only was I cloned by an crazy dark Force-user, but my original is literally a Son-of-a-Sith?which means I?m genetically a Son-of-a-Sith also. Great.

I can?t be too hard on Skywalker through. He has resisted the temptation of the darkside. He?s the great hero of the galaxy who, according to Mara, took on just about every evil in the universe and prevailed. Her eyes almost glaze over when she talks about him and his great achievements?but that doesn?t mean she is interested in him. No way!

I don?t care what Mara says?she likes Luke. Hell, I?m starting to like Luke. Not because we have become friends, but I can see how happy Mara is around him. Any person who can make Mara so content is okay in my book.

She needs someone like Luke. Mara has a very complicated past from what she?s told me. Add that to her hot temper and hardheadedness and she?s a force to be reckoned with. No ordinary guy could handle her?but I think Skywalker can.

She needs someone like Luke. Mara has a very complicated past from what she?s told me. Add that to her hot temper and hardheadedness and she?s a force to be reckoned with. No ordinary guy could handle her?but I think Skywalker can.

Thanks everybody for reading. I couldn't imagine what would be going through the mind of a clone. I would think it would be weird because you weren't born. Identical twins share the same DNA, but they grow up together...by the time they realize they are identical they are used to having a duplicate of themselves around. I had a friend in college that had a twin. I didn't know that and when I saw them together it really creeped me out. This guy was not an average looking fellow. He had very distinct features, so seeing his identical twin was surreal. I think once we get to the point where Mark is off the ship and can change his looks he will feel like his own man. It is hard for him to do so when Luke is around looking just like him.

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Entry 10. Location: Star Destroyer Independence

Skywalker came by today. I hate it when he pops in because I always get that buzzing in my head and then a headache. I probably could just shield him out. I am pretty sure I am capable of doing that by now, but I really don?t want to be around my original, it just reminds me of what I am?a copy.

Anyway he came by to test my shielding ability. I just held my breath and strained until I turned blue making a big production out of not being able to do it. I am pretty sure he wasn?t fooled. But that wasn?t the interesting part. He then starts questioning me about my intentions concerning Mara like some jealous suitor!

HA! I knew those two were attracted to each other. I just baited the Jedi trying to get him to confess that he was interested in her, but he didn?t take the bait. I told him he should man up and tell Mara he liked her. Wuss!

I really don?t know why those two dance around each other. I am sure Mara wouldn?t mind if he scooped her up in his arms and said ?Mara Jade I want to make hot passionate love to you.?

Ha, ha! I would love to see her reaction if he ever did do that. That would be something to see.

I'm not sure how Mara would respond to Luke at this point in their relationship. She may not react favorably. I think she sees Luke as the shy Farmboy and hero and if he were to be bold enough to proposition her, it would completely change the way she views him. It would be interesting to see what would happen though.

~JL~

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Entry 11. Location: Star Destroyer Independence

I am going to see some genetic specialists on Coruscant tomorrow. I don?t know who decided that I needed to see more doctors, but I don?t like it. I am the clone of the greatest war hero of the galaxy. I?m afraid I may be put back in stasis. If Luke were ever seriously injured I would make a great source of spare body parts. I don?t think Skywalker would order this done, but some higher-ups in the New Republic might make it happen.

Mara said she?ll accompany me, but I don?t put it past the doctors to inject me with some chemical while she?s not looking to give me a fake heart attack. Then they declare me brain dead and shove me into stasis.

I think even Mark wouldn't want to record his feelings about the prostate exam. As for him being paranoid...my thinking is he is a clone of the Jedi Master and of all the hundreds of clones at Mount Tantiss he is the only one to be saved. I would think he would be a little suspicious about the situation.

Well, I have survived the day with the Coruscanti genetic specialists. They didn?t stun me and harvest my organs?yet. I guess I may have been worried about nothing. Although at the end of the day, Mara really freaked me out.

She asked me if I was pretending that I couldn?t shield just so I could be around her. I?m not sure how she figured it out, but I admit it?s true.

She takes on a troubled look and then as gently as possible she breaks the bad news to me; she wants to be my friend but doesn?t want a sexual relationship with me.

What? Where did that come from? After the first two days I haven?t hit up on her at all. She?s like a mother or sister to me now. Anyway I shuddered and said ?Eww?no, I don?t want that either.? I soon discovered saying ?Eww no!? was probably not the best way to describe my lack of sexual feelings for this lovely lady?but at least I now know what anger feels like through the Force.

I can?t believe she got mad because I didn?t desire her sexually. I?ll never understand women. I had to explain to Mara that I see her as family and my feelings for her are strictly platonic. I did hint to her that if she wants to have sex she should hit up on Skywalker (I?m sure he would be more than willing to satisfy her needs. Ha!).

After that was straightened out, we get back to the issue of shielding. I felt a little bad that I?ve been faking the inability to learn. I know she tried very hard to teach me and she was extremely disappointed with the results of my training. I told her she can call Skywalker and tell him she succeeded in teaching me to shield and he can come over if he wants. She does and Skywalker comes to the hospital. His theory was correct; with both of us shielding we stopped the head buzzing and headaches.

Mara excused herself from the room allowing Skywalker to talk to me privately. Luke asked me to train as a Jedi. I tell him no, not at this time. I just started my life. I want to live a little first. After all, I?ve only been alive for a few weeks. I don?t think this is the time to make long term, life-altering decisions.

He was disappointed; he said Mara was reluctant to train also. I felt bad for the guy. He?s trying to do something good for the galaxy, but everybody turns him down. I told him Mara and I need a friend more than a Jedi Master. I then blatantly came out and said he should ask her out on a date. When he left my room he looked happier. I hope he asks Mara out. I think she would really like that.

Sorry, I just caught up on this story... Thanks for the PM, by the way!

Did I mention that I love matchmaking?

Mark is a very interesting character, and he's very strong; not everyone could face what he's faced and come out sane. If I found out that I'm a clone... (If you're interested in this subject I recommend "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro.)

If Mark keeps this up, Luke and Mara's first child might be named "Mark" instead of "Ben"! Maybe they could combine them. Ben-Mark. Mark-Ben. Obi-Mark. hm... I love how he wants Mara to be happy. And it's probably easier to think of her and Luke's lives than his own at this point.

It turns out Skywalker did bring Mara to dinner. She was extremely cheerful when she came back to the hospital to get me. I was hoping for some juicy details, but, according to her, all she got was a hug from the Jedi. Boring! I guess Luke is a very patient man. I wonder if Jedi have a vow of celibacy? If so, I think Mara could make Jedi Skywalker fall from grace. Ha!

I was discharged from the medical facility and Mara and I went to the Solos' apartment where we would stay (in separate guest rooms) until we can figure out my plans for the future.

She brought me out to get clothes and to have my hair and irises dyed so I don?t look like Skywalker so much. I really surprised Mara when I had my hair dyed the same color as hers and my eyes the same brilliant green. I told her if she ever got around to having sex with Luke, her kids would probably look like me. I don?t think she was amused.

I like my new look. My facial features are still similar enough to Skywalker to get double-takes in public, but I am finally starting to feel like my own man, and not a replica. It feels good.

It helps that there are some physical differences between us. Luke was attacked by some big animal while on the planet Hoth that tore skin and smashed bones. It healed well, but there are faint scars and subtle differences in the bone structure. I was told I look like Luke when he first joined the rebellion.

I?m also taller than Skywalker. The geneticists said epigenetics is probably the reason. They explained to me that two people with the same DNA could look different due environmental factors affecting gene expression.

So I?m bigger and I have a prettier face (although Mara may argue that second point).

Along with my new look, I now have a last name. I picked Tantiss ?the place where I was discovered. I think it has a nice ring to it. Mark Tantiss.

I?m getting to like Luke and his family. I am glad I was given a chance to live. For the first time in my short life I am excited about my future. I think I now have a chance to live a normal life?well as normal as possible in this crazy galaxy.

I am supposed to go out with the guys tonight. I don?t know who exactly I'm going with, probably Han and Luke. I was disappointed that Mara is not going out with us, but she said it was a boy?s night out. I will write more when I get back.