The Food Dude and Dudette head to Stooges

The Food Dude/Bluffton Today\nThe shrimp po boy was a masterpiece. The Dude is going to frame this photo and keep it over his mantle.

Stooges Café

706-6178

25 Sherington Drive, Suite F

6 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday - Friday

8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday

THE DUDE’S SCORE: 99

The Breakdown:

Atmosphere: 100 — Apart from Doctors Howard, Fine and Howard, the walls are graced with all sorts of black and white comedy legends, from Lucy to Abbott & Costello. And Stooges shorts play on repeat. Heaven.

Food: 100

Service: 95

Menu choices: 98

The Dude has been a fan of Stooges for quite some time, but has shockingly never been there for lunch.

Something about chowing down on a big stack of flapjacks soaked in syrup while watching the absolute masters of physical comedy do their thing touches a very special spot in The Dude’s heart, so when the editorial suggestion came down from on high that The Dude and Dudette take their culinary accumen to the House of Nyuck Nyuck, The Dude was elated.

But could the lunch menu stand up to the breakfast offerings? The Dude is proud to issue a rousing Curly-style “whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop” in lieu of an affirmation.

The Dude started with the soup special, a turkey, rice and veggie, served in a corner booth with a side of the Stooges classic “Sing a Song of Six Pants” (Shemp vs. an unruly ironing board — hilarious).

The lunch menu was terra incognita to The Dude, so our waitress recommended a French-dip style sandwich. But, before she could finish, one of The Dude’s standbys leaped off the menu, shining forth like a beacon of deliciousness.

Everyone has a weakness. Superman has his kryptonite, certain Congressmen have their compulsion to overshare on Twitter, The Dude has the Shrimp Po Boy. It was ordered with great haste, and hot fries.

If The Dude has one small nitpicky complaint, it was the delivery of his food. The soup came out piping hot, delicious, and in a bowl that could probably double as jacuzzi if the need ever arose. The folks at Stooges famously don’t play around with portions, and The Dude approves. That’s not the problem.

The problem came about 20 seconds later when the food arrived before The Dude had even put a dent in his Olympic-sized bowl of soup. It’s a minor complaint to The Dude, but it’s a major faux pas to many discerning diners, so The Dude feels compelled to bring it up.

Anyhow, whatever reservations The Dude had were swiftly bonked on the head by the dazzling sight of the Po Boy sandwich. Lightly drizzled in a lush, orange chipotle sauce, the Po Boy absolutely dominated the plate with chunky, perfectly breaded shrimp.

And talk about massive. They should call it a Po Man.

As a rule, quality and quantity are inversely proportional, but no one told the Stooges folks about that. This was a Po Boy that was as mouth-wateringly delicious as it was ludicrously immense (a little tip from The Dude — do not order this sandwich on a date. You almost need to unhinge your jaw like a boa constrictor to take a bite). The sandwich, not for nothing, came with a side of french fries that were as perfectly golden-hued as the shrimp.

The folks at Stooges not only managed to poke The Dude’s tastebuds right in the eyes (in a good way), they also accomplished a feat that The Dude had written off as impossible.

After taking down a good quarter of his soup and the entirety of the magnificent Po Boy, The Dude surveyed the landscape of his plate and found a few fistfulls of thick-cut fries ripe for the picking.

But he couldn’t do it.

The Dude... The Dude was full.

As in he couldn’t eat another bite. Not even the fries, which were exquisite.

Complete and utter satiety. Will wonders never cease?

The bill came to around $33, which is pretty good when you consider that fed The Dude, The Dudette, several moochers back at the BT office and The Dude once again the next day for lunch.

THE DUDETTE’S SCORE: 98

The breakdown:

Atmosphere: 100 — Any place that plays Three Stooges comedies is a hit

Food: 98

Service: 95

Price: 98

The Dudette grew up on all kinds of television — most of it in black-and-white — so eating in a restaurant that has a never-ending run of Three Stooges hilarity and walls full of classic TV comedians is a real plus.

The Dudette is half-heartedly trying to eat properly, which was a big mistake coming into Stooges in Bluffton, because even the salads are enormous. But that is not to say the Dudette is starving herself.

The menu ranges from all-day breakfast with pancakes eggs of all kinds and breakfast meats.

For lunch, The Dudette perused the yummy possibilities of a quiche of the day (it was spinach and mushroom) or a couple of sandwiches — like the tuna melt. She settled on a healthy lunch to get in some greens and chose the spinach salad.

She was rewarded with a beautifully presented bowl of spinach, chopped tomatoes, sliced red onion rings and shaved Parmesan cheese accompanied by a bacon dressing. The dressing was hot, as it should be, and a little salty for The Dudette’s taste. The salad would make Popeye envious and a food designer delighted with the presentation.

That might be the second best thing that Stooges does. The dishes looked good enough to eat. The Dudette may not eat as healthy the next time she goes to Stooges because The Dude’s shrimp Po Boy was a delight to the eyes and, as he said through huge bites, a joy to The Dude’s stomach.

The service was friendly but had trouble keeping up with The Dude’s fluid intake.

One minus comment about serving the food was that the turkey vegetable soup appetizer The Dude ordered (in a bowl big enough to swim in) arrived at the same time as the main courses. On the plus side, even the plate the soup bowl was delivered on was very warm to the touch. The salad dish was ice cold. Both temperatures are what professional restaurants do, so that food stays warm or cold as appropriate.

The price was quite reasonable for two people and the sweet tea was refreshing.

Do keep an eye on the times, because Stooges closes at 2 p.m. although if you slide in earlier, they won’t sweep you out the door before you are finished.

The Dudette will have to go back and try some of their eggs Benedict dishes and, of course, a stack of griddle cakes just to follow up on The Dude’s rave reviews.

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