11.20.2007

I love the holidays just like the next guy, but there are some things that happen during this time of year that well, give me shingles, not so much thanks.

I've had an assfull of our brilliant local news people saying "and next up, how to beat those Thanksgiving crowds at the airport on the busiest day of the year."

Really Patti K.? I didn't know it was the busiest?I'm on pins and needles awaiting your advice.

The meal.

Cook the turkey-4 hours. Make the mashed potatoes-1 hour. Make the green bean thing-1 hour. Make the Jello-Ambrosia-45 minutes. Set the table-45 minutes.

Eat-9 minutes.

Clean up-2 hours.

That one lady elbowing her way to the Ol' Roy 2 for 1 body sized dog food bags. She's the one that shows up at Wal-Mart at 6 am sharp on Black Friday, white knuckling her coupons in her Faded Glory fleece.

Sweet Aunt Whoever, that tells you your making the gravy wrong then launches into the same stories of Cousin Oscar and Uncle Otis and their hijinks's.

5 comments:

Chris
said...

Oh my LORD, perfect description. PERFECT. Make it 2 minutes to eat and 3 hours clean up! It really does suck for the person hosting the shindig, which is ME for the past 5 years running....not to complain, though.

That 'Aunt' looks just like Ruth!

And the stores are opening at 4 A.M. this year--can you believe that. It is total madness. God Bless America and all our fat, must-have-a-perfect-holiday-or-I-will-wither-up-and-die asses.

I believe I have only hosted 2 Thanksgiving dinners in my entire life. The most recent was purchased mostly baked from Albertsons.

This year I am taking a greyhound bus and heading over to spend the weekend with my sister and her family. Lucky for her - and me - her husband LOVES to cook. LOVES IT. I will be making a soda cracker pie as my donation. And, I'm sure, help with the cleanup.

Tart House Design

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I love to laugh. Love to be with my family. I have 2 brilliant children, Erica & Griffin. I live with a handsome cop and a fat cat. My daughter Erica and I have a small design Co called Tart House Design.