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Re: Homophobia

Grew up in Greenville, SC, which was more liberal than the rest of the state, but I'd still say a 7. A lot of "religious" people down there who aren't very charitable or considerate to those who don't share their system of beliefs and practices.

Re: Homophobia

I grew up in El Paso, Tx. I would say the area is about a 4 or 5. El Paso is a pretty liberal area for Texas, I would say that people that you would meet in general like At school or just at random are pretty accepting. The only people who aren't are a handful of Douchebags that exist everywhere, and there is a bit of homophobia although not very hostile. A lot of people are like "I'm ok if you are gay but I would not want my child to be gay" or they will say they are accepting but still are somewhat judgemental.

Grew up in the capital of Bulgaria. Religion is barely existing there, so that's not a factor. I'd say the cultural homophobia is around 7. My family - my kin would be a 4-5, my dad - 6-7. My friends are between 1-3.

That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
- Gene Wolfe

Re: Homophobia

Difficult to say, really. My mom pushed the "boys don't cry, you must be brave and take it on the chin, and not act like a girl" mantra, but that's probably because my dad left when I was 2 and she had to play both roles and this was her way of minimisng my chances of being picked on. IT's also probably representative of the 80s when I was growing up. As I grew older, she would make an occasional comment like "I wouldn't mind if one of you were gay" to my sister and I if there was something about it on tv or whatever. So it seemed pretty liberal.

Which made her OTT hysterical reaction to my coming out all rather puzzling. And to be honest, it's never quite come right again after that.

The extended family is another story; not liberal at all and most of them still don't know about me. So in all probably a 6, I would say.

I live in Cape Town, and spent most of my life here, and it is probably the 2nd gayest place in the southern hemisphere after Sydney and definitely the gayest place in Africa. Still, though, homophobia is quite rampant in large chunks of the city and the country as a whole, even though gay marriage is legal and was pushed through parliament. It was an overwhelming majority Yes vote, but to be fair the ruling party had a 70% majority and instructed all members to vote Yes. So I'm sure the law does not adequately represent the feelings of the country at large. So that's probably a 6 for Cape Town, and a 3 for the rest of the country.

Re: Homophobia

My grandmother was bi racial and living "in sin" with my grandfather and she was best friends with a lesbian couple...they met in the 1930s and they stayed friends their whole lives. No one pretended they werent' lesbians either and they were my "aunts". I knew them from when I was born.

My dad was from New York...My mom was from San Francisco...I grew up in New York and in the SF Bay Area...both of my parents hated religion. So...I probably had the easiest time being gay so a 1 out of 10...not so easy in other aspects but the gay thing was a non issue for me and still is.

Re: Homophobia

Originally Posted by Nishin

You should have made this a poll

I don't know about that. Adding an arbitrary numerical value is relatively meaningless, especially without some sort of explanation to go with it. My version of a five might be another person's seven, or three. And if my home life was a two, but outside of it was a seven, do I add them together and divide?

I'd much rather read another person's story than have it all simplified to a single number that leaves me wondering.

Re: Homophobia

Originally Posted by blackbeltninja

Difficult to say, really. My mom pushed the "boys don't cry, you must be brave and take it on the chin, and not act like a girl" mantra, but that's probably because my dad left when I was 2 and she had to play both roles and this was her way of minimisng my chances of being picked on. IT's also probably representative of the 80s when I was growing up. As I grew older, she would make an occasional comment like "I wouldn't mind if one of you were gay" to my sister and I if there was something about it on tv or whatever. So it seemed pretty liberal.

Which made her OTT hysterical reaction to my coming out all rather puzzling. And to be honest, it's never quite come right again after that.

The extended family is another story; not liberal at all and most of them still don't know about me. So in all probably a 6, I would say.

I live in Cape Town, and spent most of my life here, and it is probably the 2nd gayest place in the southern hemisphere after Sydney and definitely the gayest place in Africa. Still, though, homophobia is quite rampant in large chunks of the city and the country as a whole, even though gay marriage is legal and was pushed through parliament. It was an overwhelming majority Yes vote, but to be fair the ruling party had a 70% majority and instructed all members to vote Yes. So I'm sure the law does not adequately represent the feelings of the country at large. So that's probably a 6 for Cape Town, and a 3 for the rest of the country.

And of course a big, fat 0 for Africa as a whole.

-d-

Doh

2 kind JUBbers have pointed out that I have my scale backwards. It should be a 10 for Africa as a whole, and probably a 7 for .za as a country, and a 5 for Cape Town.

Re: Homophobia

Originally Posted by Anders123

I don't know about that. Adding an arbitrary numerical value is relatively meaningless, especially without some sort of explanation to go with it. My version of a five might be another person's seven, or three. And if my home life was a two, but outside of it was a seven, do I add them together and divide?

I'd much rather read another person's story than have it all simplified to a single number that leaves me wondering.

A poll wouldn't prevent posters from telling their stories to complement.
And it would give a general idea, even though there are differences in values attributed to numbers, the more posters in the poll the more a visible median helps attenuate differences in definitions and visualize where JUBber' sum of experiments stands...

This said, I'm not sure how to answer the question myself, I grew up in different cultures... so I'll keep to the most direct surrounding, familial culture and say maybe... 3 ? For my mother occasionally made remarks that led me to believing she wasn't accepting of homosexuality and prevented me from being open on the subject until I came out in my 20es to find out it actually wasn't a problem to her at all...

Re: Homophobia

10.0 as I was born a member of the Saudi Royal family but then I ninja'd my way onto a plane while under enemy fire with Michael Jackson and Hillary Clinton and came to Los Angeles where it was like, 3-4 (growing up).

Re: Homophobia

Religion is practically non existent in South Wales apart from the few backwaters.
Most homophobia comes from the older generations like my parents and grandparents who make passing comments but nothing I'd consider all out homophobia. People my age are far more accepting so in 20 or 30 years I hope the issue of homosexuality will be widelly accepted. I'd rate the current level at a 6 or 7 /10

Re: Homophobia

Originally Posted by xbuzzerx

10.0 as I was born a member of the Saudi Royal family but then I ninja'd my way onto a plane while under enemy fire with Michael Jackson and Hillary Clinton and came to Los Angeles where it was like, 3-4 (growing up).

Re: Homophobia

most definitely a 10. i learned that it was NOT okay to be gay at an early age as the other kids let me know that. one time, my female neighbor back where i used to live growing up and this was back when we were 5 or 6, called me the f-word. i dunno what it was over but she called me that. she was also one of the many bullies i had to deal with. you just knew that men didn't mess with men and women didn't mess with women because it wasn't the norm. if you were one of those people that did like the same sex, you were automatically an outcast as in people thought something was wrong with you. they'd let you know too. then to top it off, my hertiage is homophobic as well so it's basically drilled into you. i'm still trying to learn how to snap out of that mentality because i've been around that my whole life and i'm also learning how to find the courage to come out to other people who also been around the same homophobic atmosphere i came up around.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

Re: Homophobia

I grew up in England during the 60s/70s, which seemed like a very liberal forward-looking period at the time.

My parents and family were all atheist/agnostic, so no one around me ever showed any religious-based bigotry and hatred towards gays. Back then England pretty much seemed like a post-religious country (of course it's all going backwards now with the rise of Islam and the resurgence of Christianity).

When I came out in my teens to friends and family everyone was very accepting and supportive. Even elderly relatives seemed to have no problem with the issue.

Overall, on a scale of 1-10, I would have to say about 4. The media was incredibly homophobic and sexist during the 70s, and we still had religious fucktards quoting the bible against us whenever they managed to get airtime on TV and radio.

I always thought it was no big deal being gay - I've been totally out to everyone everywhere for the past 35 years or so and I had imagined that growing up gay in a civilized country must be even easier nowadays ... then I joined JUB and read the horror stories of many people's experiences.

Re: Homophobia

Originally Posted by 4playdude

I was shocked to get up this morning, amidst a michigan snow storm, and find 21 replies to my post late last night. reading through every story it brought tears to my eyes. why, because i felt so close to each and every person who posted their story. that leads to my next question, and a story. how many of you believe that male to male attraction has something to do with lack of male intimacy in our cultures? from my own experience, i believe that some of my male to male attraction is from a hunger for male intimacy, but i can't go back and reset the start button having those needs met, to find out. i will say that i have a very conscious sense of this being missing for me.

Nope. My father WAS a bit awkward when it came to expressing love or tenderness to my brother and me. But he tried very hard. He said "I love you" every night, and in retrospect, I can hear him pushing the words out. He had his own upbringing to fight against that told him such acts weren't manly, and he bravely said "fuck you - I'll do them anyway". Although there was a bit of distance there because of that, he minimized it the best e could, and I thank him for it.

I'm not gay because my father was distant.
I'm gay because I got lucky.

Re: Homophobia

Home was about an 8. Family/parents are religious (catholic) and would say a lot of homophobic things. They've come a long way though and are more open, but not quite completely there. I'd say they're a 4 now.

My neighborhood was a 9, maybe even a 10. I grew up in the ghetto, where if you weren't thuggish or "gangsta", you stood out and was a target. It's still pretty ghetto, but not as bad as it used to be. I'd say it's a 6-7 now.

Re: Homophobia

I know. We baby ninjas spend our first 3 years fighting for survival with threats hiding behind every bottle.

Originally Posted by G-Lexington

Nope. My father WAS a bit awkward when it came to expressing love or tenderness to my brother and me. But he tried very hard. He said "I love you" every night, and in retrospect, I can hear him pushing the words out. He had his own upbringing to fight against that told him such acts weren't manly, and he bravely said "fuck you - I'll do them anyway". Although there was a bit of distance there because of that, he minimized it the best e could, and I thank him for it.

I'm not gay because my father was distant.
I'm gay because I got lucky.

Lex

Lex this statement isn't meant as oneupsmanship or to be glib, but I have a hard time envisioning that as a distant father. My father never said it, ever. I'm pretty sure I've never heard him say the words ever, even to my mom. That's distant! (Or Vulcan.) He is an engineer though, and turbological in most of how he 'thinks', but we definitely didn't have any kind of a warm relationship with him ever.

Re: Homophobia

I wasn't out in High School, but I'd say 8 and I'm being generous the majority of the student populate was "tolerant" but there would be discussions on gay rights and there was rarely a soul who was in favor, including the teachers who were arguably the worst in regard to gay acceptance.

Re: Homophobia

Originally Posted by mitchymo

Well i've ever only known 2 people to be homophobic around me my whole life, personally, plus things heard on the news etc. Overall i'd have to say a 1. Nationally it maybe 2 or 3, but rearly most people are too busy with their own lives to fret about 'them gays'.

If I recall some study in the past several years correctly, it showed that UK males of student age were among the least likely in the first world to be homophobic, and the most likely to self-report that they don't mind hugging or kissing male friends.

Re: Homophobia

I grew up in downtown Toronto.

my parents knew I was kinda of strange when I was in junior high and by the time I moved out they were crying that they worried about me. In Italian homes you don't move out in your teens. I brought my boyfriend for Christmas that year and seriously he was the best son in law they could have.

Re: Homophobia

I'd rate it a 4.
I would that base that number on my Mom.
Mom was very open and never judged.
She had her way of making an impression on others.
When Mom died, the amount of people that came to the
wake was mind boggling. Mom had a presence and understanding
that others gravitated to. She was my mom, so I didn't always see it.
It was a normal to me.

Re: Homophobia

I'm going to say somewhere 7-8 ish

I grew up in the 70's/80's, and for the most part in Colorado, outside the city limits of Denver. My mother is homophobic/intolerant to gays, father has never said anything either way. Have 1 brother & 1 sister, both younger than me. brother was homophobic (isn't so much anymore), sister is fully supportive of gays (and her kids are too).

Where I live.. when I was growing up there were never any 'out' or otherwize visible gays in the area (this pretty much still holds true today)
Allot of the neighbors are homophobic & some are racest as well.

I would say that the "7-8 ish" while growing up is something less now... but I still wouldn't 'out' myself any family members (or anyone else for that matter). That said I have taken some risks that I really shouldn't like going to the pride festival down in Denver

Re: Homophobia

Keeping in mind that my growing-up years (up to and including the age of 25) ended about forty years ago, my number will be higher than it probably would be if I was still growing up nowadays.

At home and with family: 8 (I was never "out" during those years; that started a little bit later. I think I was about 29 when I first came out to one of my sisters, and she was cool with it. But that doesn't count, because I consider that to be post-growing-up.)

Culturally and regionally: 6 (It would probably be 2, now, in the same region. In fact, where I spent my college years - Ann Arbor - the number would probably be close to 1. Or, as I prefer in numbered rankings close to 0.)

BOSS: I'm sorry, but I'll have to lay you and Jack off.
SUE: Can you just jack off? I feel like shit today.

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

If Mary gave birth to Jesus, and Jesus is the Lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb?

Re: Homophobia

I grew up in a liberal Catholic family in a liberal town, so I witnessed little outright homophobia, even at the Catholic boys' school I attended.
OTH the larger culture was homophobic, and that permeated my larger experience.

Re: Homophobia

My family itself is not that homophobic, actually they are pretty open minded.
My friend circle though was another matter, the Homophob-meter went from 6-9 (I don't give a 10 because they never beat anyone ).