My husband has a can't get erect and he has tried viagra, gave him bad headaches and blurred his vision. One day I came home and caught him watching porn and masterbating. I was pissed and hurt. You see, we have been together for 5 years and after we get married we hardly ever have sex. Viagra doesn't seem to work that great now and he goes in and out of a erection. He watchs a lot of porn and 99% of it is guys getting blow jobs. Tell me, is that normal to watch 99% of porn with guys getting blow jobs? He is so hard to talk to about it because it does hurt him, but he doesn't really see what he is doing to me. Please guys answer to this. I am misserable and wake up every night feeling crappy!
Lady12

Well,bet u feel like hes cheating,ha.
Whats up with him?
He is looking at all those people having sex and masturbating and you are not getting any?
How faithfull are you?
Would you with another man?
Cos tell you what if I was you I would be totally f****d off.
Threaten him that if he does not stop it then,its the computer or me.

Yes I do feel like he is cheating and I tell him that and he doesn't agree!! I did tell him not to watch it or I go. He says he doesn't but I have seen it on his computer, he doesn't know I look. I saw one yesterday and he said it was old and he deleted it insantly.
He has a big thing to watch blow jobs...Is that normal? Why would you want to see a guys hard on?????
Lady12

Me personally, to stop watching porn for a while.... Read the bible or something. Maybe he needs something like a new hobby. Does he play any sports? It might even be like some type of disorder and might need some theropy. They say admitting it is the first step to recovery. My problem was I had to much time on my hands. For me it was like an antidepressent cure for my soul.When I was sad and stuff. Like getting high its almost an escape or a fat person goes to fast food.They would like to loss weight but they love the greezy foods and can't stop. Also what I do is not stop completly but try my best to hold out as long as possible. Its not easy to just quit all together. Thats like taking away ciggerates, coffee or even candy and choclate away forever. Some people just have that sweet tooth.We know it hurts us but we still do it.

Hope this brings some idea's im new here so i'm no doctor but just from experence.

my husband has a can't get erect and he has tried viagra, gave him bad headaches and blurred his vision. One day I came home and caught him watching porn and masterbating. I was pissed and hurt. You see, we have been together for 5 years and after we get married we hardly ever have sex. Viagra doesn't seem to work that great now and he goes in and out of a erection. He watchs a lot of porn and 99% of it is guys getting blow jobs. Tell me, is that normal to watch 99% of porn with guys getting blow jobs? He is so hard to talk to about it because it does hurt him, but he doesn't really see what he is doing to me. Please guys answer to this. I am misserable and wake up every night feeling crappy!

Lady12

hello mrs.Lady12, I for one do beleive that your husband has a little...Well I don't know what size but he has a problem. My diagnosis is that he is exploring the concept of homosexuality. Im no doctor and this is just my way of interpreting your situation. Who knows maybe he is doing it for his own personal reasons but I personally enjoy the finer concepts as in: doggy style and kama sutra.

hello mrs.Lady12, I for one do beleive that your husband has a little...Well I don't know what size but he has a problem. My diagnosis is that he is exploring the concept of homosexuality. Im no doctor and this is just my way of interpreting your situation. Who knows maybe he is doing it for his own personal reasons but I personally enjoy the finer concepts as in: doggy style and kama sutra.[/quote]

yes, he sure does have a problem! Trust me, I thought of the homosexuality myself and he tells me that is sick to even think he is and if he was why would he marry a women...I said, "it sure would be a good cover now, would't it."
for what I have read about men with this problem, porn is something they turn too because there is knowone to disappoint. Which, I could understand to a point, but really, where do you draw the line??? You can't be married to someone and just go to porn. That is mean and just plain not right to do to someone. I really don't no what to do? All I know is I just want to get down and have some nasty sex! Lol
lady12

hello mrs.Lady12, I for one do beleive that your husband has a little...Well I don't know what size but he has a problem. My diagnosis is that he is exploring the concept of homosexuality. Im no doctor and this is just my way of interpreting your situation. Who knows maybe he is doing it for his own personal reasons but I personally enjoy the finer concepts as in: doggy style and kama sutra.

yes, he sure does have a problem! Trust me, I thought of the homosexuality myself and he tells me that is sick to even think he is and if he was why would he marry a women...I said, "it sure would be a good cover now, would't it."
for what I have read about men with this problem, porn is something they turn too because there is knowone to disappoint. Which, I could understand to a point, but really, where do you draw the line??? You can't be married to someone and just go to porn. That is mean and just plain not right to do to someone. I really don't no what to do? All I know is I just want to get down and have some nasty sex! Lol
lady12[/quote]

lady12 maybe your husband is just bored with you. Sometimes men with erectile disfunction have this problem. I suggest you try some new things like sex in unusual places. For example stop on the side of the road get out and start administering oral sex to start with then get it on, on the hood of the car just becareful not to dent the hood.
Make sure its after dark with not alot of traffic.Public places are often exciting because there is a risk of someone catching you. Also try sex toys. Maybe even reach around him while he's on top of you and gently rub his rectum then insert you finger, but only if he seems to like the gentle rub. Just use your imagination.

I've been reading your post and I feel your hurt and frustration. I know I cant really compare to me, because I am in a 1yr relationship, you are in a marriage and they are different! But well I posted ages ago about how my boyfriend couldnt get erect, and what people thought I could say/do to make things better, or what action we could take. And loads of people were really helpful, but there were loads of people posted stuff like "maybe he's bored. Stick your finger up his butt... Play with his balls" or "watch porn together" and stuff and it just didnt strike a chord with me cos what I like to think is that he wants to sleep with me because of who I am, not how much of a porn-star act I can put on, and it just kinda insulted me. Cos with him he doesn't have to pretend to be anything - my attraction to him just comes naturally. I like to think its the same with him.

In your position I would feel very hurt, because i'd be wondering why he can get off to porn, but cant get off to me. But you know what? It doesn't sound to me like he's gay. And it sounds to me like he is very defensive and sensitive because he has an actual problem. I guess when he's watching porn there is no scope for failure and perhaps that's why he won't sleep with you - fear of failure. But whatever the problem is, he needs to sort it out because it's not healthy and it's hurting you. Maybe he just doesnt realise the extent. You need to communicate these things to him. When you tell him its the porn or me, he has to know why... Why you feel this way. How it makes you feel and how you think it affects the relationship. And you need to make him face the fact he has a problem because otherwise he's just gonna stick his head in the sand and pretend nothing's wrong. If he doesn't respect your concerns and your needs and your requests, kick his butt, I swear to god, cos he cant treat you this way.

thank you both for your responses. As I would not agree with the other posts, but, I do thank you all for responding! This is such a hard thing to deal with. Demaniam, I have to say your response about him is so right on! It is easier to turn to porn rather then feel like he is letting me down. He said to me just last night, that it is hard for him because he feels like if we go to make love and he can't perform, it makes him feel crappy and he is disappointing me. He is not one who opens up about this very easily. And the "gay" thing crossed my mind, but, really, that is all it did. Your two responses seemed to hit the nail on the head.

leave him alone some people are turn on by the fantasy, try to act it out with him rather than getting pissed off. I can tell you I have problems with erection if I cant use some role playing scenario. I think its a problem but I cant help it I need a fantasy.

i have the same problem and these answers didnt really answer it, my boyfriend watches porn every sunday when i leave for work and who knows how much, but alot of it seems to be girls giving blowjobs thats the part that worries me most why would he want to stare at a hard penis if he is straight? please someone explain to me why that would turn a guy on so much

What kind of marriage is yours? Everyone is dedicated to SEX nowdays, all the relationships are based on sex, and your marriage not? Hard to explain the way your husband is avting. Unexplaining,so emature,so freaky...You are hurt,pissed off...Tell him,argue with him,you just need to solve this out...The thing he is doing is horrible,it sucks...I don't have too much sex in my marriage,but my husband wants,he asks for it,and i admit,sometimes i really need it,too. Not so many times a month,but i do have a need for sex. You simply must find a way to solve this out.Pls,do it. I want you to be hapy,you are married,not related.It is not the same.Wish you luck:)