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The gist: This sequel to the 1980s iteration of the story line about a special-forces group battling a global terrorist organization still manages to make that premise seem absurd. It woulda come out last year, but Paramount insisted on filming more scenes with increasingly popular former stripper and one-time Tampa resident Channing Tatum. PG-13

The buzz: The first one was terrible, and sequels have a habit of being even worse. "People may flock to G.I. Joe: Retaliation despite its inert illogic," the Washington Post says. "But don't say you weren't warned. As a wise man once said, 'knowing is half the battle.' "

The Host

The gist: The lady who wrote Twilight came up with this tale about a woman fighting back against the aliens who have invaded human beings' minds so she can have a kissyface scene with some hunky dude. The Korean monster movie of the same name is probably much more your boyfriend's speed. PG-13

The buzz: Well, did you think Twilight was any good? "We're treated to the bizarre spectacle of Ronan arguing with herself repeatedly over which guy to kiss. But since both are similarly bland, it barely matters," the New York Daily News says.

Tyler Perry's Temptation

The gist: A romance movie from the ubiquitous writer/director/producer/actor with nary a Madea in sight. Between this and Alex Cross, he'd better be careful not to alienate his fanbase. PG-13

The buzz: Perry never previews these things. He previewed Alex Cross, and look where that got him.

On the Road

The gist: Jack Kerouac's Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty wander across the country in a desperate attempt to create a misguided road trip that people will try to emulate, interpret and recreate for decades. Hint for kids just reading the book: This country don't exist no more. R