The PopSugar Video About Fat Kid Dance Party

Y’all last month I posted that Pop Sugar was going to film my class Fat Kid Dance Party (For All Sizes to Heal From Body Oppression) and I wanted to pack the house, so I invited you all to come. The video was released on July 7th and within 36 hours had one million views. When it first came out Dara wondered aloud if it was viral when it hit 8,500 views and I responded, “Who even defines viral?” But whatever that definition happens to be this video is, officially, viral.

What’s it like to go viral? The GOOD kind of viral. Not like America’s Funniest Home Videos viral but the kind where people hear your message and like and share it because it is important. Like you’re a body liberation activist who has been at it for fifteen years and synthesizing all the work you’ve done for all those years into aerobics and millions of people hear you say that self love can move mountains. Readers who have been with me for years here, you know how hard I’ve been hustling. This is huge and amazing.

Having a viral video is kind of like regular life except also like it’s your birthday. On Facebook your friends are writing really nice things about you when sharing your cool video. You get tons of email. And your girlfriend buys you something cute for each milestone. We had lattes for our one millionth view and I got flowers when it hit two million. Birthday treatment. (I always worked to femmifest a loving and supportive partner and I totally have one now. Visioning works!)

Me and Dara, photo by Rachel Crowl. I’m working with her on a redesign of my website, this garden hasn’t been tended in awhile and deserves to glow all fresh and beautiful! As I’m launching my Energy Healing practice I want it to have an obvious space on the site. You can read about Rachel’s fabulous journey as an actress in this week’s LA Times! So proud.

Having a viral video means lots more opportunities—meetings, phone calls, exciting plans. Lots of people have been reaching out to me since the video went viral and I’m trying to get back to people. (If you need to get ahold of me queerfatfemme at gmail is the best way, Facebook Messenger is really hard for me to manage.) A viral video does not pay the rent or get the dishes done. I’m about to go do about 8 Ikea bags worth of laundry that has piled up. That viral video has not shown up with a free washer and dryer yet!

What’s clear is that people want this where they are and I want to figure out how to get it to all of you. Right now my aerobics class is in the special LA only beginning phase but the future can have a lot in store.

The things I’m most excited about pursuing are a workout video, reality TV development and touring the class to other cities. I’ve already got dates cooking in Seattle (my mom lives up there and her house on the Olympic Peninsula is amazing to chill at, I am excited to create a second home up there) and Orange County. If you’re in either of those places and want to get an email when that happens sign up for my email list.

I have always wanted to be a talk show host and I feel like a reality platform that is committed to people living their best lives would be really fun for me. I have had three meetings with different development people in the last week–exciting! I will only work with people who are 1,000% committed to the idea that all bodies are worthy of love exactly as they are. I’m trying to figure out how to test those levels with people other than my gut instincts. Maybe I need to do a body liberation workshop with them?

In terms of getting Fat Kid Dance Party (For All Sizes to Heal from Body Oppression) to as many people as possible I really want to do a series of videos. Like Richard Simmons, I believe we can have fun and joy in movement and I want to bring it to everyone everywhere! My classes work just as well at a high cardio level as they do in a chair–meeting people where their bodies are at right now. Unlike Richard Simmons, I am completely neutral about weight loss goals and am not interested in making money marketing towards that.

I think that production value matters and that we deserve to have a fitness video that doesn’t cheap out on music or any other part of it. My class is about healing the effects of oppression as much as it is movement. Neurolinguistic programming is a part of why it is so effective; when you’re listening to music you know already you drop into your body and away from the limiting messages in your brain easier. People knowing at least some of the songs is also part of the fun and licensing songs for videos is no small feat, financially or logistically.

I have a lot of ideas for developing a fitness platform that can reach everyone and how to bring that into schools to help kids learn to love their bodies and love movement. I want to do it one for one like Tom’s–for every download I sell I give one to a kid who needs it. And like Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library Program I want to pay for the research to find out how effective it is to help raise self esteem and empowerment. Dolly lays out her process for developing the Imagination Library in her book Dream More, I highly recommend the audio book. The Imagination Library is so successful because Dolly did a lot of research to find out what works to prevent high school drop outs. I want my program to be really successful at creating resilience to body negativity and oppression.

My next steps on that front are looking at all the ways I can raise the capital–social impact venture capitalists get at me! Brand partnerships get at me! People who have interacted with building out the technology around downloads, get at me!

This Post Has 2 Comments

I saw your video on PopSugar, and my first thought was that I wish this thing were nationwide. As someone who’s always been chubby and describes herself as awkward (that’s Asperger’s for ya), this sounds like a great self-esteem booster. These days, I’m having fun on Wednesday afternoons at a free outdoor barre class offered by a local business improvement district. I feel like a bit of a badass for having sweltered through a class in 97-degree weather last week. Luckily, there’s a covered area where the class is, and a lot of us set up our mats there.

Keep up the good work. And hopefully your travels will take you to Washington, DC, sometime!

When FemmeCast was just getting started, Bevin decided to do an episode about breakups and she asked me to share with listeners my tips for getting over a broken heart. As, at the time, the self-described “Queen of Heartbreak,” I felt well qualified to address this issue.

It was stressful, though, going to see a "health" practitioner for the first time. Not knowing if they were going to be fatphobic or not. I want a doctor who treats me as a human and not as a number on a scale. I wore a full face of make-up because that makes me feel better, and I was ready to recite to the doctor things about health at every size.

I got nervous in the room waiting for her because there were not just one but three posters about weight loss stuff. They have SIX weight loss/"health" programs, and I'll say I feel glad for it if simply because by offering them for free they are taking money away from the billion dollar diet industry. You can give Oprah your money at Weight Watchers (right now I'm not paying any money for Oprah things, she can just take her billions from toxic diet culture she doesn't need my money), or you can get free nutrition counseling on the phone from Kaiser or one of the other five programs. Or, you can love your body as it is and work on your overall health and wellness and learning to be in loving communication with your body about what it needs because your size doesn't need to change for you to be a whole, worthy human being. That's the tactic I've been using and my happiness is pretty great.

I have alluded subtly before that I suffer from the Seasonal Affective Disorder. It fucking sucks. I am a very logical person* and there are so many real things in life that bum me out, so it is made ever so worse to feel so very all alone, anxious and sad just because of my body's reaction to the time of year.

Never one to suffer in silence or suffer without trying to do something about it, I have sought out a few remedies, both from my vast experience dealing with significantly terrible life altering changes and from my friends. Below I share them with you, cherished reader.

Most of these tips are good to use whenever life is getting you down, for many other reasons than just lack of light. They are also super low cost/free.

Welcome!

Above Photo: McKay Nield;

I'm Bevin your Femmecee at QueerFatFemme.com, where I chronicle the relentless pursuit of my joy. Life is really great when you learn to love your body and step out of the closet! I believe all bodies are good bodies and work to make the world safe for people to love themselves. I blog about body liberation, travel, plus size fashion, sexuality, relationships, spirituality, authenticity, and having a really fun life following your own inner guidance. I love Dolly Parton, Miss Piggy, Dorothy Allison and Alice Walker. Grab a cup of tea, cozy up to your computer and enjoy!

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