Case Number 19147: Small Claims Court

SAY HELLO TO YESTERDAY

The Charge

She was yesterday. He was today. There are moments when everyone is the same
age.

The Case

He (Leonard Whiting, The Royal Hunt of the Sun) is an obnoxious,
20-ish man-boy; she (Jean Simmons, The Robe) is a beautiful, married lady
nearing middle age. When he spies her on a commuter train, he decides she's
"Mount Everest," a romantic ideal that's out of reach but worth
pursuing.

And pursue he does. He spends an entire day following her around, and she
spends the entire day trying to shake him. Despite his puerile antics, she finds
herself drawn by his boyish enthusiasm. He insinuates himself on a visit to her
mother and inexplicably charms the septuagenarian, who ominously warns her
daughter, "If you have an affair with that boy, you'll regret it,"
before crinkling up like a smiling sponge and giving her blessing: "On the
other hand, if you don't have an affair with him, you'll also regret it."
What's a slightly past-her-shelf-date housewife to do when Mama rams through the
OK? But when Boy and Woman finally mate after an exhausting, headache-inducing
day of frolic, will they have a happy ending?

In 1978, writer/director Jane Wagner had the audacious notion to pair
then-hot, recent Oscar nominee Lily Tomlin (Nashville) with "It
Boy" and recent Oscar nominee John Travolta (Saturday Night Fever)
in an older-woman/younger-man romance called Moment By Moment. Wagner's
folly turned out to be one of the worst received films of all time, but it was
not without precedent.

In 1971, Leonard Whiting was still basking in the glow of his starring role
in one of the most successful and iconic movies of its time, Franco Zeffirelli's
Romeo and Juliet. Jean Simmons had been making films for more than 20
years, with classics like Hamlet, Black Narcissus, and Elmer
Gantry to her credit, and she had been Oscar-nominated the year before for
The Happy Ending.

Someone got the idea to team these two up for a hipster-ish, Brief
Encounter-like romantic drama set in London, trading on Whiting's youth
appeal and Simmons' mature beauty and grace to carry the day. The result is
Say Hello to Yesterday, a May-December fizzle.

The problem here rests squarely with the script. Writer/director Alvin
Rakoff just doesn't have a story tell, and his characters aren't interesting
enough for us to spend 96 minutes watching them muddle about. The Boy (as
Whiting's character is known) is annoying. More adolescent than young man, he
does things that are supposed to be adorably Puckish but are so irritating you
want to strangle him. Included in his bag of tricks:

* To get through the crowd and board a train, he screams like a lunatic that
his mother has passed out, causing the other riders to turn and look while he
sidles past; * He stands in the middle of the street directing traffic in
front of the plant where his father works (a place he will not sully his hands,
Puckish dickens that he is); * He steals her purse -- so she has to chase
him (ho-ho!); * He has comical outbursts, bursts into song and dance,
says and does unpleasant things to strangers for attention, pouts when he
doesn't get his way, and plays with balloons.

In short, he's an insufferable twit, and why Simmons' Grown Woman doesn't
just bash him with a two-by-four is simply a mystery.

Other than Whiting's self-conscious and manufactured Whoopie, there's no joy
here, no sense that these are two souls who belong together. The characters are
given no motivation. Simmons' housewife doesn't seem particularly unhappy -- as
a matter-of-fact, she declares herself quite happy with her life as it is -- and
Whiting's Man Child in Swingin' London Land hardly seems hurting for female
attention. Why her? Why him?

Why us?

With a little more focus, and some depth to the characters, this could have
been OK. As it is, we just can't get behind these two; there's nothing to root
for. They're just pretty people, one of whom does pre-packaged wacky things
while the other frowns disapprovingly or widens her eyes in disbelief. The real
shame is that Simmons -- still traffic-stoppingly beautiful, still possessed of
such poise and presence -- is wasted in this empty concoction.

Say Hello to Yesterday made little impact when it was released, but
Scorpion comes through with a first-rate disc. The transfer is in great shape
given the film's age and pedigree. Audio is the original mono track, and it
sounds fine. We also get a terrific supplement: an audio commentary with Rakoff
and film historian Tony Sloman. A fun, informative, trivia-and-history-heavy
track, it makes this worth a rental.