The idea here is for three actors to condense all 37 of William Shakespeare's plays and 154 sonnets into less than two hours. The cast (all three of them) play 75 different roles, complete with costumes and props. The style is farcical, slapstick, and improvisational, and its success is highly dependent upon the quality of the actors and their interaction with the audience.

The first act starts with a short, gender-bending interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. One of the actors will play all the female roles (in drag), and whenever the character dies, he "vomits" on the lap of the same poor soul in the front row. Every time.

Other treatments include:

Othello as the rap song "The Menace of Venice". Done best if one of the actors is black, and can provide assistance to the white guys.

Titus Andronicus as a cooking show ("Now, when you've had a long day - your left hand chopped off, your sons murdered, your daughter raped, her tongue cut out, and both her hands chopped off - well, the last thing you want to do is cook.").

Macduff: That never was there a story of more blood and death, than this o' Mr. and Mrs. Macbeth. Thankee.

(He bows and departs. Lights out.)

The second act is devoted to Hamlet. The first time through the play, the audience is enlisted to help Ophelia (some poor unsuspecting female audience member) get into her final scream after Hamlet's "Get thee to a nunnery!" by chanting such helpful aphorisms as "Maybe yes, maybe no", "Paint an inch thick", and "Cut the crap, Hamlet! My biological clock is ticking, and I want babies now!". Then, they do the play again, faster. Then a third time, even faster. And last but not least, they do it backwards. "be to not or be To."