Massacre (1989)

I hardly need review a film that reviews itself in its dialogue, but I suffered through this so you can read the review.

Although often ranked among the very worst of the Euro-cult directors, Andrea Bianchi could at least generally provide some sleazy entertainment – but with Massacre, he falls down flat – the storyline is a tiresome, painful affair while exploitation is notable only for its absence – gore scenes are mild and scarce while sex is far too brief, the two most attractive actresses stay fully clothed throughout and their lesbian sub-plot never gets beyond dialogue.

(And yes, all the references to this film being sleep inducing, I did fall asleep twice trying to watch this, but as a conscientious reviewer, I rewound and watched the scenes all over again).

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