You Might Be a Republican If…

1. If you think the minimum wage is bad for America, but CEOs claiming multimillion-dollar salaries and huge bonuses while putting thousands out of work due to their own incompetence and bad management isnt, then…

You might be a Republican

2. If you think America actually has a health care system that works, then…

You might be a Republican

3. If you believe Bill Clinton was an unprincipled, amoral politician who used the military as a proxy for his own warped agenda, but Bush is a righteous, honorable man and inspired leader, then…

You might be a Republican

4. If you think the Clinton tax increases slowed the economy to a halt but the Bush upper-class tax cuts led to unprecedented growth, despite all available evidence, then…

You might be a Republican

5. If you think Islamofascists trying unsuccessfully to destroy our country from without are a greater threat to the Republic than the Christofascists trying successfully to destroy our country from within, then…

You might be a Republican

6. If you believe the Earth was created 6,000 years ago and Satan put dinosaur skeletons in the ground to deceive us, then…

You’re an idiot. You might also be a Republican

7. If you think government is always evil, and that’s why your party should be in charge of it, then…

You might be a Republican

8. If you think having the government in charge of providing health care coverage is somehow worse than 40 million Americans not having any coverage at all, then…

You might be a Republican

9. If you think homeowners who got burned by the credit industry during the housing bubble burst DON’T deserve a bail-out, but the credit industry responsible for the disaster DOES, then…

You might be a Republican

10. If you think Bush’s assertion that God told him to invade Iraq is a sign of his great faith, and not a dangerous delusion unworthy of a world leader, then…

You might be a Republican

11. If you don’t see the truth in any of these jokes, then…

You might be a Republican

12. If you’re laughing your ass off, and have already thought of ten more good ones, then…

You might NOT be a Republican. Congratulations, you can think for yourself! Please post any good ones you think of here!

– If you feel that a constitutional ban on gay marriage is necessary to preserve the sanctity of marriage. Score double if you’re also an habitually abusive or unfaithful spouse. Score triple if you’ve also been divorced at least twice.

– If you get a stiffy from Ann Coulter’s adams-apple or chiseled man-jaw.

– If you physically and verbally assault anyone who fails to stand at attention and salute the flag when Lee Greenwood’s “Proud to Be An American” plays at any time.

– If you don’t see a parallel between Bush believing that he was on a mission from God and Osama bin Laden believing the same thing.

– If you would be horrified to learn that Jesus was actually a long-haired, dark-skinned, peacemongering Jew.

– If you know that without the United States, the French would’ve lost World War II to Germany, without realizing that without the French, the United States would’ve lost the American Revolution to Britain.