Remember that funny little wiggly piglet from your childhood stories named…um, Piglet? The one who worried about everything x 2? Oh, the one who was really needy? We do. Specifically, we remember that Piglet, for all his kindness, was prone to needless worry.

So, were we worrywarts or obedient pigs, we would start off this preview with something like “Caps Slide Southeast Conference Turmoil Panic Bench Hunter.” hahahaha. Which is sort of a funny headline, but just nothing we ever, ever, will write.

We prefer Piglet’s “You can’t stay in your corner of the forest, waiting for others to come to you; you have to go to them sometimes.”

That, my hockey friends, from a striped pocket pig is exactly the best advice anyone can raise about the Caps.

The Puck Drop

“You have to go to them sometimes.” Such a brave pig.

Stephen Weiss

Oh sure, we saw the last game (grch) and read Peter’s group dissection of what went wrong, which was brilliant. And more specifically, what it may presage (as in: glup slup Titanic HELP burgle snurf.) And yet, here is where we diverge.

OK. Everyone listen up. Tuesday’s game is serious. No more funz and gamez. We’re needing points, we’re far too loose of late, and we canNOT give up a point to the Panthers. Meaning, they are our gatekeepers. We’re in the f&^kall position of chasing them, so not only do we need wins, we need them to lose.

How we do it is for the men on the ice Tuesday. We have a few ideas; all of them from coach Piglet.

Why They’re Hot

Tommy Flash

1: Playas Play: So ugh, of course there are those few/several/multiple Cats players who figure. Who always get a paw in the freakin’ bowl. Kris Versteeg (20G/25A, plus-7) is just about at the top of anyone’s list. A G against Winnipeg and an A against the Bolts (in that ugly vivisection) makes Steegs a pair of mitts to watch for. Trailing on his ice is shortie (6’1″) and former Cap Tomas Fleischmann (17G/21A, minus-2 but who cares) and Asst. Capt. Stephen Weiss (13G/25A, plus-8) who just registers a ‘wow’ on any meter.

2: Numbers Lie: So we’re five of the last ten with these gutter-felines. The last time we met the Cats we looked like we were asleep. Fine. The Panthers looked worse on Saturday. What is the verb to describe their laying down? Consult your sports dictionary.

What Makes Us Hot

1: Company = Distance. Ugh. We’re tied with the Panthers on key items: completely equal at the PK, although they lead at the PP. We outshoot them this season, but not by much. Piglet’s sense is that the Caps have more flash in their firearms, but the Cats let loose what little they have.

2: Little Vs. Lottle. Nicky. Greenie. Poti (we so wish you well.) And now Brooksie, and…we imagine before publishing…Dima. Meaning everyone needs to step double-time up to the line and do more than they were asked to do. We believe they will.

We believe this ship is not sinking. Pay no attention to the water at your ankles. Really, this ship cannot sink. And we will prove that.

PostGame Un-Called-For Umping

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

Caps. We just want to be sure of you.

Prediction

Comcast Sports 7pm: Joe B will be downer, Locker will be helpful. Caps 3, Florida 1. There, I said it.

Piglet: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Perhaps my favorite pre-gamer so far…perhaps that because I get the references to Pooh and Piglet. Go CAPS!

brian!

“We believe this ship is not sinking. Pay no attention to the water at your ankles. Really, this ship cannot sink. And we will prove that.”
Probably my favorite thing you’ve written for the site so far. Thank you.

Homer4Hendy

“I think,” said Piglet, when he had licked the tip of his nose too, and found that it brought very little comfort, “I think that I have just remembered something. I have just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday and shan’t be able to do tomorrow. So I suppose I really ought to go back and do it now.”

For some reason I am reading this after the game and not before, but I love this, a lot, and you. The awesome thing about reading it afterward was that you were right on the money. Amazing job, go team go.