When you go through the death of someone you love, the biggest and most obvious thing that happens is that you fall into a deep hole and feel like your life will never be OK again. My mother-in-law (also a widow) told me that I would start to see things in a different way; the sky would be bluer, a rainbow would be brighter, flowers would smell sweeter. At the time, I thought she was out of her mind. How could anything be better, my husband was dead!

Even before the fog of grief began to lift, I started to see what she was talking about. It started with my grandchildren; I saw the world through their eyes. I couldn’t even think of the first Christmas without Dave but how could I ruin the memories for my granddaughters? That year I survived Christmas by living it through the world of a child. Christmas is pretty spectacular when you are little and still believe in Santa!

A trip to the amusement park is much more exciting if you get on the scary rides. Two weeks after Dave died, I went to Disneyland. I cringe even saying that! It was our sons 18th birthday and there was no way I was going to sit at home and try to pretend everything was normal. I decided to do something crazy and unexpected. I know Dave was laughing with me as I went on every ride and stayed from open to close. The words “What did you do after your husband died? I went to Disneyland” kept popping in my head. I knew it was from Dave, laughing and so proud of me! That was his sense of humor and the life he led. We carved LIVE LOUD into his headstone because that is how he lived every day.

Now I try to live each day as a child would, seeing things for the first time. Jump in a lake? Not the old me, I would get my hair wet! The new me, jumped in with my granddaughters and had a wonderful time. Go to the beach in December, run into the water, who cares if you have to wear a coat? Climb a rock wall? The old me, would have worried about how fat I would look in that stupid safety harness. The new me, went up the wall barefoot!

The simple act of driving to work used to be monotonous, now I marvel over the beauty of the mountains in the background. If I could give the world one gift it would be the ability to see the world as if it were your first time looking at it and live each day as if it were your last, without restraint. Don’t wait for a huge life lesson to come along and teach you this. Live Loud now!

Live each day as if it is your last, embracing each experience as if it were your first