Your Weekend Justice #130: “Research”

It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck. It’s the podcast that will bum rush you, but only in the classical sense. This podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.

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As always, special thanks go out to Clutch for letting us use their absolutely badass song, “Promoter (of earthbound causes)” as our theme music for this.

Widge: That statement could be interpreted many ways. I choose to accept all of them.

Dan North
September 25, 2011 at 12:47 am

By the way I have revised and expanded my Doctor Who theory.

Dan North
September 25, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Widge: The entire linchpin of the series are 3 questions which I’m pretty sure I know:
1. Who is Madame Kovarian? I have two candidates one more likely than the other.
2. Who does River Song kill? This is an easy one.
2. What is the Question? I’m almost 100% certain with my answere to this it’s: who?

And we never did find out where all the flowers have gone, come to think of it.

Carmel
September 26, 2011 at 6:49 pm

People I want to see in the suit who are not River Song:
10) Jackson Lake (“The Next Doctor”)
9) The Brigadier
8) Wilfred (because I don’t think he would ever shoot the Doctor and I would love to know why)
7) Ace
6) Barbara Wright
5) Rose’s Mother or Father
4) The Mysterious Timelady
3) Captain Jack
2) David Tennant
1) Sylvester McCoy

Having had the pleasure of meeting the guy, I want to see McCoy in practically anything. Watching him do comedy was very informative, I must say.

As we discussed, you could throw various people in the suit for just a head-fake…but I think that would cause more trouble than it’s worth. I’m thinking it’s one of our four “regular” cast members (by which I mean also River). That being said, if it’s River at this point it’s almost too obvious. Amy and Rory as well. So I think the person in the suit is…the Doctor himself. Because if you think about it, if he knows something is going to happen, he’s great at planning–when it’s somebody he cares about. We’ve already seen this with him giving River a screwdriver prior to The Library. And I think a nice way to do what they’re talking about for next series–taking him off Earth and doing standalone episodes–would be his way of getting his head on straight following all of this madness that he (probably did) bring upon himself.

That is my theory at the moment, subject to change without sense. Thanks for the comment, Carmel.

Dan North
September 27, 2011 at 6:51 am

The real key to it all is not who is in the astronaut suit because itâ€™s not River (and Iâ€™ll get to that later). The entire season is not built upon the Silence, or the Church, or Madame Kovarian (but its close). The entire season hinges upon those three working together to get rid of the Doctor. Mostly Madame Kovarian. Why does she hate the Doctor so much? Her name is apparently an anagram that indicates her as the Rani but she is not. I have narrowed it down to two equally ridiculous candidates.
1. Madame Kovarian is a rogue Ganger of River Song whom survived long after Songâ€™s death and for some unknown reason wishes to kill the Doctor. Evidence:
â€¢ River has history with the Church (Kovarianâ€™s minions) whom she encountered in Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone.
â€¢ River has a history with Dorium Maldovar (â€œIâ€™m old, Iâ€™m fat, Iâ€™m blue!â€) whom Kovarian contacted in A Good Man Goes to War.
â€¢ Amy and Melody Pondâ€™s ganger was able to stay in human form for very long periods of time with zero effort because they were more â€œadvanced versionsâ€. Could this be the version of the Flesh that Kovarian uses?
2. The â€œgood manâ€ that River is going to kill? Rory. And Amy (consumed with grief and probably in possession of a vortex manipulator) blames the Doctor and sets out to kill him. She becomes Madame Kovarian and joins with the Church whom she also has history with.
Iâ€™m leaning more towards the later but the first one is definitely a possibility. However, with almost zero uncertainty I can say that River Song kills Rory. Letâ€™s examine the evidence:
1. In A Good Man Goes to War at no point is it stated that the Doctor is the good man in question. In fact the Doctor truly does not go to war. But the Lone Centurion sure does.
2. River song has never once stated that she kills the Doctor. And frankly after Closing Time it would just be too obvious.
Who is in the astronaut suit? That is a good question but Iâ€™m going to caution a guess and say (considering next yearâ€™s 50th anniversary) it is either a past or future Doctor. Why would the Doctor do it? Well in A Good Man Goes to War, God Complex, and Closing Time the Doctor learned that he is just too involved in the lives of his companions an d too well known in the universe. The fact that the Church knew how to get to the Doctor is wrong. Moffat loves the classic series and in the classic series the Doctor was not the known entity he is now. He was a mysterious entity that showed up saved the day and vanished.

But all of that are just cherries on top of the real reason the Doctor â€œkills himselfâ€ i.e. fakes his death. Yes, he does want to be an unknown entity again and all that but what really happens is that: He finds out what the oldest question in the universe is. The question that makes the silence fall. A question that he cannot allow to be answered. And that question is: who?