Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Trying to find WOW moments...

So first off... Easter was amazing. We started off the weekend with an amazing drive, no muscle pain at all, and stopped off to see my best friend, Molly, and her fiance Neil in Cedar Rapids for dinner. It was great to catch up and see her amazing engagement ring! :) We then continued on our way to my parents and ended the night on their screened in porch with a drink in hand and a fire roaring! I couldn't help it, I was just happy.

This attitude continued throughout the 4 day weekend. It was an amazing feeling to go to church on Sunday with my family... especially since we have not gone to that church since we were married. St. Paul is one of the prettiest churches I have ever been apart of. Pastor Peter Marty always gives the most incredible sermons. This particular sermon hit home as it talked about focusing on your "WOW" moments... you know the things that you say WOW that's amazing to.

Which brings me to the return home. The weather was overcast... funny as it seemed to get darker and colder as we returned to Minnesota... matching my mood. I literally felt a wave of depression come over me as I crossed the border line, I know its stupid, but I just do not feel like Minnesota is home.

I don't know if its my mood influencing my body, but yesterday and today I woke up with muscle aches in my knees and a flushed face... I feel like I have a fever, but I don't. I know the mind is a powerful thing, but at the same time I'm due for an infusion so it could be numerous things.

It just seems like when we leave Minnesota, I almost forget that I'm sick, and the minute we come back to Minnesota are the reminders of infusions and docter appointments hits me. Its hard to focus on WOW moments, when alls I can focus on is cruddy stuff. I really have tried to like Minnesota and I know we'll be here for at least 3 more years until Chris finishes his MBA... I think I just tend to focus on the fact that "MN made me sick." Which it didn't, plus in Iowa there is a lot of distractions, up here not so much.

I'm hoping I can shake this feeling after a few days, I've been sleeping a lot which passes the time. On the positive side, Mr. Kitty was quite excited we were home. He hasn't left my side. In fact, he is laying on my feet at this exact moment. I could call that a WOW moment... what do you think? I find my heart and "positiveness" starting to waiver... I'm almost going on a 2 year battle. I'm hoping the next few months bring positive encounters and no more worries.

Thought I'd post some recent pics of Keegan and Mia I received from Kelly. This was Keegan's easter party at school! I got to talked to Keegan this weekend and right off the bat she recognized my voice. She was pretty funny and is developing quite the personality. If anyone knew my brother, just think of him with a pink dress on and a higher pitched voice. She is literally the exact image of him and my dad when they were that age. Mia is starting to look more and more like her mom. We'll see what her personality brings though!

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I am a twenty-something girl, trying to figure life out since being diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease. I married my soul mate in the summer of 2008, and got diagnosed with my autoimmune disease that fall. This blog is about me trying to figure life out and to help others understand the ins and outs of the day to day activities of something living with a chronic disease.