Overall, this sounds like a pretty cool chance to meet some fighters, get some autographs, and pick up some UFC schwag. The tour will jump around the country, often making pit stops at large festivals like Bonnaroo and the X-Games. If you’ve ever attended any MMA-related event, you know all too well the type of sophisticates that turn out. For every educated fan, you have two guys in chromed-out Ed Hardy shirts talking about how tough Kimbo Slice is. One component of the tour sure to bring out the meatheads is the competitive physical fitness tests. Fans can weigh-in and test their might at pull-ups, vertical jump, and punching strength. Better than simply flexing their barbed-wire tatted biceps for those in attendance, competitors will be given a stats-card designed for Facebook posting so all of cyberspace can taste their machismo.

Any bets as to which member of the Potato Nation will post the highest scores? A schedule of upcoming tour dates and locations is after the jump…

Clyde on ‘Kyra Gracie in VIP Magazine‘: Just remember if she’s on top of you, don’t reach for the boobs. You’re just asking to get armbarred.[Ed. note: See, isn't that better than the endless "triangle choke" gags?]

Spike.com has released a teaser clip from The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir (which premieres next Wednesday), introducing two lightweights, Junie Brown and Jose Aguilar. Assuming he doesn’t get bounced out of the opening round, Aguilar may be setting himself up as the asshole of the house, greeting viewers with these soon-to-be-immortal words:

“To be honest, dude? I belong with Napoleon, dog. Alexander, dude. Hitler. That’s what I belong with, dog. I be conquering motherfuckers, dude, period. You know what I mean? Pillaging, shit like that, that’s where I belong, bro. Criminal, dog, straight-up criminal.”

It’s strange — if you were to put Junie and Jose next to each other and ask me which fighter is more likely to have respect for the Third Reich, I might have gone with the other guy. Personally, I can’t wait for the interviews Aguilar does when he leaves the show, with his inevitable complaints that the editors portrayed him differently than he actually was: “Nah, dude, I didn’t mean the shit Hitler did during World War II, dog. I meant when he was younger, dog, how he used to beat down punk bitches outside of his gym, bro, and jump motherfuckers outside of gas stations with his homeys, dude. That, specifically, is what I was trying to say I belonged with, dog. Public nuisance type shit, bro. I got mad respect for it, dog. But they want to hate on Freddie, dude, know what I mean dude buddy homey bro dog?”