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Monday, February 20, 2017

Felissa Rose Week: Slaughter Party

Howdy all and welcome to the week.
After touching base with the actress plugging actor/writer/director
Sean Whalen's(Waterworld, Twister, Suicide Kings, Idle
Hands, Python, Drive Thru and Hatchet III) project for
IndieGoGo fundraiser of Crust, a man and his sock monster. Now how
can you walk away from something that sounds that insane? That being
said, I made a bold statement to said actress that I need to do a
week for her films. We are doing a Felissa Rose Week. This is
Slaughter Party.

Say...do I need a Tic-Tac?

Now keep in mind this is a Troma
Studios creation sooooo.... I am hoping this doesn't hit Toxie
territory. I have been pretty hard on Lloyd Kaufman and yeah I am
not writing/directing or producing so I will tone down the stupid
remarks. Hopefully have some fun remarks. We open with a three
chord power slap thrash metal band and as soon as two dudes and a
dwarf have whimsical jaunty music following them. No offense to the
dwarf gentleman Mighty Mike Murga but I see one on film, my
brain immediately goes to Bloodsucking Freaks or The Sinful
Dwarf Z-grade exploitation films. Not sure why.

Looks like what we have a day to dismember....*Who CSI Theme*

They give a bit of exposition on this
area of having an escaped lunatic dwelling in this cave in a remote
region of desert and clearly they need to explore it Scooby Doo
style. I was waiting for them to split up next or twist an ankle.
What? Can only girls and women twist their ankle from a lumbering
slow maniac or monster? So sexist. Looking a wee bit like Bronson
Caves...again. A mad scientist (Ford Austin of Shank's Mare,
Creepies 2, Cerebral Print: The Secret Files and Terminal)
slaughters doofus 1 and 2 leaving the dwarf tied up and cackles like
Spoony's Doctor Insano while...violating the Dwarf Craig.

Yup, flash forward to an internet date
and well...I'm not sure I even want to explain how messed up Craig is
now but he offs the date. We'll leave it at that.

I guess he snuck into another blonde's
apartment and stabbed and pulled a mad scientist on her too. No real
rhyme or reason, he's just crazy and blood thirsty now. Three
weeks later. A title card told me so, Blond #2 was known as Mel
(Annmarie Lynn Gracey of Desert of Death, Absolute Horror,
Attitude for Destruction, Reptisaurus and Black Russian) is
mourned by sister Tara (Felissa Rose of Taken Alive,
Bloodhounds II, Dinner and Driving, Daybreak, Nikos the Impaler,
Zombiegeddon, The Drone Virus and Satan's Playground ) while
her best friend Kerri (Sarah
Rosenberg of Foxfire, The Skin Horse, Shooting Nick, Two Fisted, Worn
Like a Tattoo and Stray) telling her to get her ass out of
her house and live a little...perhaps too little
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ahem...moving on.

Well the camera man was not shy.

So they are off to party in only
enough the insane doctor's desert lands which means stripping down to
bikinis. Detectives Cage (Ric Drasin of Ben, Flashfire, The
Kid with X-ray Eyes, Active Stealth, Mach 2, Prank Attack and AWF
Throwdown) and Donovan (Adult Actor Seymore Butts of
Seymore Butts Swings, Seymore Butts: In the Love Shack, Bustin' Out
My Best, Backdoor to Buttsville Gluteus to the Maximus, Assgasms and
Tushy Girls Live) are hot on the case of two dismembered
blondes...cuz California needs more of those I guess.

Can Craig the now knife wielding dwarf
but put to a stop?? Is the mad scientist lurking about?? Will there
be jiggly boobies??

Tad bit of trivia for those still
reading and I loathe Urban Dictionary yet again, a slaughter party
meets a festive get together were there are more females than males
so clearly folks getting laid or a mass orgy. FYI, do not traipse
through Urban Dictionary. You will be forever changed and NOT for
the better.

Felissa Rose gives this goofy script a
serious performance, Scream Queen Brinke Stevens (Private
School, Slumber Party Massacre, Sole Survivor, Fatal Games, Sorority
Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Cheerleader Massacre)makes an appearance and I am still snickering at Lloyd
Kauffman's kill all the midgets rant. The plot is ridiculous, the
sound editor needs to be fired...out of a cannon. The killer midget
idea was fun but poorly executed. They just didn't go far enough for
this route and it felt more offensive than funny and dark. Ron
Jeremy is in this as well being cheesy and silly and frankly about
the only thing to keep me even watching this. Director Fred
Rosenberg's directorial debut overall flopped but again the
starting of this goes to the writer, which is also Fred Rosenberg.

Potentially messed up story just lost
in bad sound editing, sub plots that really went nowhere and using
Brinke and Ron as cameos. Yeah I had to put on close captioning
because I could barely hear the actors period. With implied
lesbianism, pot smoking and typical boozing this entire terrifying
film was shot in the hell loop of about 2 in the afternoon.