Get Email Updates

The Dispatch E-Edition

All current subscribers have full access to Digital D, which includes the E-Edition and
unlimited premium content on Dispatch.com, BuckeyeXtra.com, BlueJacketsXtra.com and
DispatchPolitics.com.
Subscribe
today!

Enlarge ImageRequest to buy this photoRobert F. Bukaty | Associated PressHallie Twomey’s son, C.J., killed himself in 2010 at age 20. She’s helping see that his ashes are spread far and wide.

AUBURN, Maine — For 3 1/2 years, a black stone urn of C.J. Twomey’s ashes has sat on a shelf in
his parents’ Maine home, not far from the door he walked out of one beautiful April day shortly
before shooting himself.

Now, his mother is using social media to enlist the help of strangers to scatter his ashes from
Massachusetts to Japan in the hope that her adventure-loving son can become part of the world he
left behind.

“I don’t want him to have to sit in an urn for my benefit for whatever rest of time that we
have,” Hallie Twomey said. “I wanted to give him something. I’m trying to give him a journey.”

It started with a simple request on Facebook to help C.J. — who was 20 when he died — “see the
mountains that he never got to climb, see the vast oceans that he would have loved, see tropical
beaches and lands far and away.”

The post was shared by nearly 100 of her friends, and soon even strangers started offering to
scatter C.J.’s ashes in their hometowns, on family vacations or just somewhere beautiful. She
started a separate Facebook page called “Scattering C.J.,” which now has more than 1,000 likes.

The pictures and videos on Facebook tell the story of where C.J. has been. A man scatters C.J’s
ashes on a beach in Massachusetts. One sprinkles them in a forest in Jamaica, and another off a
rocky cliff in Hawaii.

Along with the ashes, Twomey sends a note and a small photo of smiling C.J., wearing a Boston
Red Sox shirt with sunglasses propped up on his head. She asks the recipient to do four things:
Think about C.J., think about the people he gave life to through organ donation, tell him that his
mom and dad loved him and tell him that his mom is sorry.

Twomey regrets rolling her eyes at her son instead of hugging him as he stormed out of their
home after an argument. A few minutes later, C.J. shot himself in his car in front of the home, she
said.

C.J., who thrived on things such as jumping out of airplanes, was upset about not making a
special forces team with the Air Force, she said. After being honorably discharged, he wasn’t sure
what he wanted to do with his life, she said. But she never thought he would do what he did that
day.

Last week, C.J. was sent to Haiti and India, and soon someone plans to take him to the top of
Mount Everest, Twomey said. About 150 packets of his ashes have traveled, and 300 other people have
offered to share in C.J.’s journey. When most of C.J.’s ashes have been scattered, Twomey hopes to
put together a book with all the notes and photos people have sent her. The proceeds would go to
the New England Organ Bank, she said.

Many of those offering to help scatter C.J.’s ashes have also been affected by suicide or lost
children. The kindness has been overwhelming, she said.

“Really, why would a complete stranger want to help us?” she said. “I really think people are
doing whatever they can, even if it’s a small thing, to ease our burden or to embrace life.”

For Twomey, finding peace has proved difficult.

“I want to find peace in this. I want to feel better, but my guilt is so intense, so I haven’t
yet. I don’t know if it will. I hope.”