Typically at 7:00am I throw on a workout and go at it for 30 minutes. Without fail every time I am exercising I have two thoughts running through my head.

A. Am I being Selfish?

B. Moms can totally get a workout in every day if they wanted to.

So, first let’s get to me feeling guilty about working out. While I am working out Wyatt is awake, so I am not engaging in his play time unless he asks, and even when he does I tell him, “Mom is exercising, I can read with you after,” (woof, I always feel bad putting off a book). To be honest though, I stopped working out when he sleeps because I felt that was precious time when I could be doing something he wouldn’t normally let me do, like a more than 30 second shower or do something on the computer (he climbs onto my lap and touches EVERYTHING). So, now I workout in the morning while Wyatt is awake. I have to stop for a few moments when he tells me he is hungry, or when my workout takes me to the floor and Wyatt decides he wants to take a nap on me or use me as a highway for his cars. In the past I would quickly take him off and tell him I need to finish, but now I just give it a few minutes. Why? Because workouts are going to be imperfect. Plus, how long is his desire to cuddle on me going to last? A couple more years? And let’s face it, I am not working out for a competition. I am working out because it makes me feel good and it is one thing I can pretty much say I have completed every day (because I NEED to feel like I accomplished something everyday in its entirety). I don’t need a super sweaty/perfect 30 minutes workout. I need a smart workout that hits the spots. To make sure I get this done everyday, it is something I need to figure out how to incorporate into my life when Wyatt is awake. So, am I being selfish? No, I am being smart with my time. Wyatt doesn’t need my constant attention and I personally think this gets him to understand sometimes he just needs to entertain himself. Plus, a finished workout makes me happy.

So, after I am done justifying why I am not being selfish, I always get to thinking about how really any mom can get this done. Yes, it’s definitely harder if you have a full-time job, or if your kid craves constant attention, but again, we can all come up with various excuses why it is hard or why we don’t have time (I mean I do this for a number of other things in my life). But, if you are willing to have a workout that is going to be interrupted every so often in the beginning, I am sure it can turn into an almost complete workout eventually. It is all just about being realistic with what your life is now. When I first started I had to stop a lot because Wyatt always wanted something or would get himself into a pickle (I started this when he was 7 months and was beginning to pull himself up/walk). Now in the morning I say, “Wyatt, what times is it?” and he says something that sounds like “exercise”. He then points to where my mat is tucked away behind the couch and when I roll it out he likes to run across it or bring some trucks. His interest fades quickly, so by the time I actually need the mat, I can push the trucks to the side. So really after some time I have been able to, “train”, Wyatt into understanding that exercise for Mom is part of the morning routine and so he plays on his own. Make no mistake, there are have been only a handful of perfect 30 minute workouts. If he is cranky, which he is 4 out of 7 days, I will setup a breakfast snack which includes some fruit or his chia bowl, or I will throw on some PBS and chat to him about what he is watching (since my workout is taking place in the kitchen/living room anyway). I know society toots that workouts should be a “me” time activity so you can be mindful of your workout, but let’s face it, “me time" is a precious commodity. Working out is honestly something that just needs to get done. Save the "me time" for something that is actually fun, like drinks with a girl friend, or a getting your nails done, or a solo trip to the coffee shop to read a book. Don't glorify exercising...its not that awesome. Just incorporate exercise into your daily family time. Again, unless you are training Let exercise be something your kids get into or simply have it be something they understand is part of a daily schedule. And you might feel guilty you are not engaging with you kids, but guess what, chances are that half hour you wouldn’t have been engaging with them the whole time anyway. You would be cleaning, or puttering around, or scrolling through Instagram, or something else that really could wait. Plus, exercise is the easiest thing for us to say, "no", to. You aren’t going to say “no” to a pile of dirty dishes, or a full laundry hamper that has all your underwear in it. Those things you “have” to do, save for the end of the day because you know you will get it done no matter what.

Because a bent leg turns into the best bridge

So be flexible. Literally and figuratively. Adjust. Make it work. Exercising isn't really fun (maybe if you are comparing it to cleaning your bathroom). But fitting into your clothes and feeling good in them is really nice. Plus, you can eat a treat every so often and not even feel guilty about it. Just make it happen Mama. You will feel so much better. Promise.

And just like that we are at the end of February. Last time I was writing, I was three days into the 21 Day Fix, and now I am one week post. Day 21 felt a million days away, but now I feel like its been a million days since I did the program. Thankfully I timed it perfectly, as last week was certainly not filled with good eating habits (my mom came to visit and brought donuts, and other "bad" stuff). But, even though I have been treating myself, I also am consciously steaming most of my dishes and making sure my portions are more in line with one serving (not my usual two/three servings). I am happy to say there was only one cheat day, and that was because we went to Vermont where I couldn't pass up eating at a few different Vegan spots I otherwise never go to. I am not sure I can tell you there are any obvious changes other than I can handle waking up at 6am, without being tired at 6:10am.

I was really hungry!

Mentally. Not actually hungry. In my last week I easily was spending the last 15 minutes of my day before bed looking at food on Instagram. I actually spent a full 10 minutes looking at cupcakes that were from a bakery in Wilmington, North Carolina, which lead me to another 5 minutes on donuts in North Carolina. WTF? I mean at the very least I should look at food I can get my hands on locally. And even better, as I was falling asleep, I would mentally go through the Bakeries in NYC that I like, and my favorite desserts from their shops. Again, WTF? I told Andrew the next day. He said I have a problem. An addiction. But let's leave that conversation for another day.

But really, other than having to tag vegan recipes to try later, it wasn't bad at all. I ate a ton of veggies. Yes, if you can imagine, more than usual. I only had, "the bad carb," when we did Pizza night on Friday (which resulted in leftovers for Saturday because I was only allowed to eat one slice as opposed to my regular two). The most annoying part was having to whip out the measuring cups and spoons to make sure I wasn't crossing my limits. I do recommend cooking up some lentils and beans at the start of the week and also cutting up some veggies, that way you can just throw them together. I would steam the veggies on a pan or pot on a pan with some water and steam them when its time to eat. On a regular basis I used red onions, carrots, olives, lentils, tomatoes, beets and broccoli.

Easy workouts.

I mean easy as in anyone can do them. Yes, some days felt harder and involved more sweat, but overall very manageable. The last week when I was doing the two a day schedule I was definitely feeling tired/sore in my second workouts, so I would recommend not doing them back to back, but instead later in the day (this wasn't really an option for me). I would do them first thing in the morning at 7:00 am in the kitchen (they are 30 minutes each). Wyatt of course would try to get involved. I had to keep the floor workouts (pilates, abs & yoga) for when he was napping because anytime he saw me on the floor he would back into me with a book in hand or try to lay on my chest pretending to need a nap.

We got results!

While I am happy I did get results, I wish I hadn't, so I could discredit the process. But, let's face it, when eating appropriate for your body portions and adding daily workouts, TADA, there will be results. I started at 138-140 and got to 132-134. So, a solid 6 pounds. I also ended up losing an inch off my derriere and two inches off my waist. The weight loss mainly happened the first week. And the last two weeks I was still losing inches, but on the scale it was just a couple of pounds. I am including pictures only because me saying it worked usually doesn't make people a believer. I should have worn a better outfit to start the pictures, but I didn't think of that, so a comfortable and easily accessible bra for breast feeding (Wyatt, not Andrew), is what you see. My photographer was awesome.....

Will I do it again?

Yes, the plan is to do it 4 times a year. Not sure if I will be as strict with the food portions, but if I am, I will probably stick to two weeks and ease back in to my usual the third week. Why? I dunno. Because I am a rebel and I am the boss of this program. That's a lie. The program is designed to be followed. I will follow the program...otherwise the guilt will be too much for me. And yes, I should have this be a lifestyle change, but.....I can't, nor do I want to limit myself to 1 cup of fruit a day. That is just asking too much. THAT is where I draw the line.

So today is obviously Day 3, but I have included a review and approximate calories below of what I had yesterday. I am probably going to have something similar over the next few days so I won't bore you with my eating habits. But, I will tell you I have wanted to quit at least 10 times today. I ate breakfast at 8:30am and it's hitting 11:00am now and I am starving!! I just made some tea and I ate three cashews (I normally would eat a toast of some sort, or a fruit something if I wasn't tracking my consumption). But, the plus side was today I definitely felt like a gazelle getting out of bed. Not like weight wise (although that has dropped already), but like this weird airy (not gassy) feeling.

Here's to hoping I stick this out for 21 days....but my first goal is to get through 7 days. The weekend will be the big test. I am already scheming how to get those pancakes on my plate. Andrew and I had quinoa pancakes this past week (exactly as boring as they sound), and so with the right amount of fruit, it should settle any cravings or fomo.

BREAKFAST

LUNCH

I ended up making 5 veggie patties, and I ate two. So it averaged out to roughly 1/2 cup of pinto beans, 1/3 cup quinoa, 2/5 cup of carrots and sauteed red onion & broccoli, which was cooked in 2/5 tsp of coconut oil. I had these on a bed of spinach (1 cup) with 3 slices of eggplant and 2 cherry tomatoes. The dressing was just balsamic vinegar and mustard. (315 calories)

DINNER 2

Note: These sauces I am adding are just to get some extra flavor since salt is a no no. Everything I cook normally has salt...plus Andrew loves his salt so it gets added double time. Himalayan Pink Sea Salt if you are wondering.

So we are 22 days into the New Year and nothing has really gone as planned.

First Andrew started off the New Year with a 36 hour bug/flu thing. Which he graciously gave to me. No worries, Wyatt is apparently healthy as an Ox and he got away scot-free. Thank goodness!

Shortly after getting over the flu, I was running after Andrew and boom, I jammed my toe. But this wasn't your regular, "break your toes kind of feeling but nothing is really broken kind of jam". No, the next morning I couldn't set my foot down to put pressure, so after taping some toes together and an ibuprofen, I hopped around the house and then watched as my toe became black and blue. That took care of my dreams to work out and made me slightly miserable. Yeay!

So into week three of the new year and I went to the dentist where I got a couple fillings put in. The next day, an ache in my tooth settled in on my other side. This pain came once or twice before, but during my pregnancy. Of course I couldn't take medicine then, so instead I endured the mind numbing pain and didn't sleep, but it was traumatizing (I would say worse than 39 hours of labor, but Andrew thinks I blacked out and that I don't really know what I am talking about). This time I took medicine, but it really isn't working to its full capacity, so I believe a root canal is in the future. Oh, and I have cold, that irritates my throat and the ear on the side of the pain, so it's been hunky-dory.

ANYWAYS. Starting week four and we have pressed reset. Because really, you can press re-set whenever you want. So in no particular order or importance, my goals are:

Heading to bed at 9:30pm, with lights out at 10:00pm.

Starting the 21 Day Fix Beach body program again, but this time actually following the food rules.

Spending an hour each evening on some watercolor work.

Getting our ideas folder for the renovation together so Andrew knows what to set where.

Plan a vacation.

Get Wyatt to expand his eating palate and actually keep track of some of his recipes.

No face picking.

Okay. That's all for now. Nothing crazy, but you know setting and writing these goals just has me feeling all kinds of ready to tackle the year.

I have been most eager/hesitant about the 21 Day Fix Beachbody food program. I am fine with keeping to the workout, which I have done already a few times over, but never the food. I hate limiting my food intake. I already did a conscious portion control on my own since I have always had a tendency to over eat. But I know my portions are still at least double what they, "should" be, if I am expecting for any weight/body mass loss. Do I feel I need to lose it? Honestly, yes and no. Yes, because I know I overeat, which means I do add more to my body than it probably (definitely) needs. But then no I don't feel I need to, because I know even though I over eat, I am still not putting garbage in my mouth. Except when I go on vacation. Then I am capable (meaning I just did it on my last vacation), eat 12 cupcakes in 9 days, and that's not counting the vegan donuts or chocolate bars. Vegan or not, even I know I was being a glutton. So, I have challenged myself to stick to it. Day 1 almost complete and I am rewarding myself with a banana cream pie when I am done. Haven't decided if that is breakfast, lunch and dinner or just dessert. Andrew is probably shaking his head, but hey, I need to know I am working towards something.

Since I know you want to know what I will be eating over these next few weeks. I will keep track. Or try to at least.

O and here are some pictures. None if it has to do with what I just wrote about. And no I have no photographic evidence of my cupcakes, donuts, junk binge (even though I wish I did because it was so good....says the old me...like yesterday me). Happy 2018!

Andrew is on a fast (not for the faint of heart, but if you want a better understanding as to why he is doing it, check out this documentary), which means I should be happy eating all my delectable dishes with leftovers to spare. But sadly I am not. I am actually lost. The fridge looks like it is going on a fast since I have not purchased anything with a clear goal as to how I will use it.

Quiet small town living means I truly rely on the posts I see on facebook in my various "mom" groups to know what is taking place in and around the area. While there were a number of Halloween festivities taking place, I knew our little guy was probably not ready for them (even the pumpkin patch ride a couple weeks ago was too dusty and long). We did take him on a late night walk this past weekend, with my plan being the lit up Halloween decorations as the main attraction, but as it turned out, after we pointed out the creepy moon behind the clouds, that was all he pointed to and cared for the rest of the walk. I thought he might get scared of some of the decorations, but he just looked at them, pointed out the witches and pumpkins and that was the end of that. Move it along mom.

I distinctly remember the first time I had hummus. I was relaxing poolside with two of my girlfriends (future bridesmaids) in Raleigh in 2011, when we realized we were hungry from all the strenuous activities we had been doing, you know flipping every 20 minutes for an even tan and cooling off in the pool.