16 Back-to-School Survival Tips for Crazy-Busy Moms

That's what we always say to ourselves as the days get shorter and fall rolls around. This school year, my kid will eat a nutritious breakfast every morning, my house won't be a disaster zone, and I'll avoid those eleventh-hour "OMG, is that due tomorrow?!" posterboard runs. Well, what if we told you this is your year? Here are professional, proven strategies to get your act together where it matters, and let go of the rest.

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1Never Forget Your Keys Again

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"Forgetting is about distraction," says Judy Marcus, who's spent 20 years as a memory expert. "To remember, you have to remember to remember." So besides putting your keys in the same place (you meant to do that, right?), create a memory reminder: Pause on your top step so you don't open the front door on autopilot and throw the keys anywhere. Or associate a wind chime in your kitchen with the need to place the keys in the bowl on the counter. You can do this with your phone, too: When you set it down, take a split second to notice what it's next to so you can envision it when you're all, "What on earth? I just had it!"

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2Take the Stress Out of Getting Dressed

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"My kids pick out what they're going to wear themselves, but they need to lay it out the night before and — unless there's a serious weather change — there's no switching it up in the morning." —Rebecca Green, mom of two and blogger at Not-So-SAHM

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3Delegate Like Crazy

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"I know I can't do everything in the morning, especially since I leave the house before my husband and kids. So I delegate: I leave a note on the counter every day with things like 'Use the chicken leg in the fridge for lunch!'" —Amy Graff, mom of three and news producer for SFGate

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4Embrace Calendar Apps

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"In my job, I test hundreds of apps designed to make life easier. I've learned that with family calendar apps, you have to give yourself some time to get used to using them. The combo that works for us is Google Calendar (for everyone's schedule) and Todoist, which lets me assign tasks to family members (like 'Bring your violin to school' every Monday to my forgetful daughter)." —Carley Knobloch, mom of two and digital lifestyle expert

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5Tights: A Solution

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They're second only to hair in the pantheon of things that reduce mothers and daughters to angry tears on a busy morning. Mindi Smith, a professional stylist who's dressed kids for everyone from the Gap to Vogue Bambini, knows the true culprit in many a failure: "tights that are too small." She suggests buying them a size big, and in "good cotton" (she likes Zara's kids' tights, around $10). Then, to put them on, scrunch the entire leg down to the toe, and pull it on entirely before doing the same with the other leg. "But you know, they'll always take a little more time than a pair of pants," she says. "You just have to make peace with that."

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6Rouse Your Rip Van Winkle

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It's your own version of Groundhog Day. You go into your kids' room — "Time to get up!" — but when you come back 10 minutes later, absolutely nothing has changed except the march of the clock. Here's how to break free.

1. Be consistent. "Having a regular wake time is just as important as having a regular bedtime," says Mandy Gurney, cofounder of the Millpond Children's Sleep Clinic and coauthor of Teach Your Child to Sleep. "You don't have to be militant about it—they can sleep in a bit on weekends. But if you leave your child to lie for hours on Saturday morning, trying to get them out of bed come Monday morning will be a nightmare."

2. Give 'em a treat. The morning scramble has a way of bringing out Sgt. Mom, but barking (you) and balking (them) is no way to start the day. Instead, think about niceties that can help get them going. Gurney brings her teen daughter a glass of milk in the morning—"she likes it, but it also makes her sit up!" Marie Masterson, Ph.D., offers her teens warm washcloths to ease them into the day. This is a special kindness to older kids, whose bodies, research has shown, really are programmed to wake up and go to bed much later than the school schedule generally allows. For elementary school kids, the promise of 10 minutes on an iPad — once they're up, dressed, and fed, of course — may work wonders.

3. Let them handle it. "As parents, our job is to transfer responsibility to the child," says Masterson. "The earlier we start, the better." So while it may seem like asking for more late slips, know this: Kids as young as 4 or 5 take pride in using their own alarm clock if they're taught to take responsibility for it, Masterson promises. Just try it. And because light is the gold standard as far as wakefulness, think about getting a clock with a glow for any age child, or simply step in and raise the blinds or turn on a lamp when the alarm goes off.

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7Make 'Em Talk

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Remember when your kids were preschoolers and would ask you a dozen questions just in the time it took you to adjust the car seat? Well, by the time kids become tweens, it can seem like they suddenly realized they overspent their words and now need to penny-pinch every one. "How was your day?" "Good." "What did you do?" "Nothing." This is how child development expert Marie Masterson, Ph.D., author of Enjoy the Parenting Rollercoaster, says you can crack the small, silent types. "There are two times during the day when children are most open to talking: in the car directly after school, and before bed," she says. "Children love to talk to you when you're doing something else, like going through the car wash." The bonus (for them) is that you can't look them in the face. "Don't give up the bedtime routine. Offer a back rub, or brush your teeth together. Their defenses are down, so they'll spill." As for the morning, she says, forget it. "There's too much going on!"

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8How to De-stink That Backpack or Lunchbag

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This is how Toronto-based Melissa Maker, host of Clean My Space on YouTube, keeps them smelling fresh:

1. Check the fabric label. If it says machine washable, use cold water on the gentle cycle. (Zip everything up and take off pins and removable straps, or wash in a mesh laundry bag.) If it doesn't, use warm water, a soft sponge, and laundry detergent.

2. Hit it with some stain remover, or if gobs are major, soak the whole thing in OxyClean for an hour or two. Scrub stains on the plastic insert of a lunchbag with a paste of baking soda and water.

4. To help keep smells out, place a dryer sheet at the bottom, or if that scent is too strong, leave a piece of newspaper spritzed with water and vanilla extract in the bottom of the bag over the weekend whenever things start getting rank. When the news comes out, all you'll smell is sugar cookie.

Bonus Tip: Smelly, but no time to scrub? Put an open box of baking soda in the bottom of the backpack overnight. It'll buy you time until you get to wash it.

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9Help Your Kids With Homework — By Personality Type

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It's astounding, really, how much parent-kid tension can be brought on by a few math worksheets or reading assignments. Gauging your kid's homework personality, says Ann Dolin, founder of Washington, DC's Educational Connections Tutoring, can help get you past the hump.

Ms. Disorganized: This is the kid who doesn't bring the right book home, or does her homework but can't find it the next day. "A lot of parents will see this as something willful," says Dolin. "But a lot of times, it's just that the child's executive functioning isn't well developed yet. Accepting that will go a long way." Don't take over, but create space for her to get herself together: a weekly family "clean sweep," for example, during which she empties out her backpack while you tackle the junk drawer. "Scattered backpack, scattered mind," says Dolin.

The Rusher: He whips through his homework in record time, scattering easy mistakes and skimping on detail. Check his work? Never! He has places to go. "Saying 'Slow down!' won't work," says Dolin. Instead, she institutes a set period (say, the recommended 10 minutes per grade level) of Dedicated Homework Time. "Tell him, 'If you finish, you can work ahead, you can do your reading, you can do math facts on the computer, but this block is set aside for schoolwork.'" There's less incentive to rush — and less friction between the two of you.

The Procrastinator: She can't find a pencil; she's cold; she needs a drink of water. These kids are not just avoiding work. "Sometimes they feel overwhelmed and underprepared," says Dolin. Encourage her to set small goals for herself, allowing a short break after: working through two math problems, for example, or just the easy ones. Timers may also help. "She can set it and say, 'Ten minutes, then I can take a break,'" says Dolin. Often, once this kid gets started, she'll go on through like a champ.

The Daydreamer or Fidgety Kid: These kids — problems self-explanatory — also do great with a timer. Try breaking up their homework into short segments of no more than 20 minutes and letting them move locations for each. "Fidgety kids also often do things that really annoy parents and teachers, like rocking in their chairs or clicking mechanical pencils," says Dolin. "The instinct is to say, 'Stop that!' But allow them to fidget. They need to get that energy out."

Mr. Frustrated: If reading = rage or math = major drama in your house, it's time to put on the brakes. "Nobody can think clearly in the middle of the meltdown," says Dolin. "That's when parents need to disengage. Say, 'I'm going to go check my email. Come find me when you want to get started again.'" For Round 2, resist telling your kid how to tackle his problem, advises Dolin. "Say, 'Do you have an example? Do you have notes on this? Is it on another worksheet?'" she says. "You're teaching them the skill of independence. The more you hover, the worse the outcome."

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10Cold Cereal...Yay or Nay?

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You've probably heard the rumblings at morning drop-off: The hot breakfast is back, updated for 2016 as eggs and salad, or even salmon and spinach — filling dishes with a dose of protein and no midmorning sugar crash. So if you're still starting your kids' days with cereal (no matter how cheery the O's), you may be feeling a little negligent. True story: One food expert told us, when we asked him, that adults who aren't feeding their kids a protein-filled breakfast "should examine their priorities as parents." "Oh, my gosh. Seriously?" retorts registered dietitian Tina Gowin Carlucci, who has a nutrition communications business in Arlington, VA, and lives in the real world. She says cereal is A-OK, but yeah, some extra protein with it, like Greek yogurt or nuts, is nice. Moms of sugar lovers, try to avoid "added sugars," which now must be listed separately, according to new FDA regulations.

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114 Things to Always Keep In the Car

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We asked two moms, each with at least three kids, what they need (besides coffee) to give the to-school drive a modicum of calm. These are the things we should all stash.

"I have to get myself dressed and ready first before I can actually deal with anyone else. I typically go straight to the shower, get myself pulled together, and then — only once I know I could walk out the door within two minutes — I can attend to the kids. Because at that point, anything can happen." —Merrill Stubbs, mom of two and Food52 cofounder

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13Plan the Week's Meals (Without Giving Up the Whole Weekend)

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Two sanity-preservers from Merrill Stubbs, one of the moms who cofounded the kitchen and home site Food52 and cowrote the upcoming book A New Way to Dinner:

1. Put a plan in place. Maybe you shop Saturday morning and cook Sunday, or shop Friday evening and cook a little both days—whatever works. But plan on somewhere between 90 minutes and three hours in the kitchen overall, with a few dishes (say, a winter stew) done and ready to eat, and others prepped to throw together in 10 to 20 minutes on a busy night. One key act that will get you ahead: Cook your veggies as soon as you get them home. "It's when you love them most," says Stubbs. "Facing a bunch of raw vegetables on a Wednesday evening is too daunting. But if your peppers are already braised, you can just throw them into a dish."

2. Then forget about it sometimes. You must lose any lingering guilt over nontraditional dinners. Now and then, you've got to embrace dishes like salads, grilled cheese, or topped ricotta toast. They lighten the dinner-making burden—and may even be healthier than a huge meal.

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14Write It Down

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"I know this sounds ridiculous, but I have my morning routine written out and posted on my fridge: Have breakfast, Take down load of laundry, etc. My brain is going in so many directions in the morning that if I didn't, I'd be sure to forget something." —Emily Ley, mom of three and author of Grace, Not Perfection

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15Don't rush breakfast (it won't help)

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Are "We're late!" and "Hurry up!" your breakfast-time standards? All that rushing could be making things worse instead of better at your house: Studies show that when we look to save time by hurrying through a meal, we actually feel more pressed, not less, and make worse food choices. Meanwhile, lunch studies show that kids who speed-eat tend to chow down more (boys) or less (some girls) than normal — right at the time they're supposed to be learning lifelong healthy-eating skills, like what satiety feels like. (In adults, hurried eating correlates with obesity — just sayin'.) Speaking of lunch: Schoolkids are almost guaranteed to be rushing again then. One study found most spend only seven minutes eating during their lunch break. So if you can, try to shift your morning schedule around — Brush hair in the car? Do chores in the afternoon? — so your kids can get their fill at least once a day.

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16Skip the Doctor

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Opt for a walk-in clinic. They tend to have late-night and weekend hours, and they can give vaccines and fill out the form you meant to bring to the doctor two weeks ago.

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