thanks to you all

you all have been a lot of help and when my boys go back to school it will be alot easyer on me i see summer is going to be ruff so we know know next year i will be getting help. i have put into place some ideas that you have given me and my hubby and i talked last night and he is going to help out more and he has so i hope he keeps up his end ... just wanted to say thank you and hope with time i can help you to ..... theresa

I didn't get a chance to respond to your first post, but, I just want to say that everyone else gave excellent advice. My heart goes out to you. I cared for a dear friend for about 9 months while she was suffering from terminal cancer - I moved into her house to be there for her and I kept working a full time job (from 4pm - midnight at a newspaper).

I am so glad that your husband promises to help out. I just have one suggestion on that point: make a list of SPECIFIC things that you need help with on a regular basis.

Women are very good at "intuition" -- they just "know" what you need help with before you even ask. Men, no matter how good and sincere their intentions are, have NO IDEA what you need unless you TELL them in very precise terms EXACTLY what you need them to do, how it needs to be done and when you want them to do it.