Chicken sliders and mini apple pies

Yesterday was the election back home. It was incredibly stressful to watch since coming into it the candidates were pretty much neck and neck. So to deal with my stress and to turn the election-watching into an election-party, I decided to make some food.

I knew I wanted to do something classically American. But also not too fattening. Which can be a challenge.

While I was searching through recipes I kept seeing a certain phrase on Australian sites.

Dude food.

Dude food…?

“How to make a ‘dude food’ sundae.” “The ‘dude food’ train keeps on rolling with Hartsyard in Newtown.” “‘Dude food’ is the predicted food trend for 2013. “

Is it now?

Do you know what happened when I searched ‘dude food movement’ into Google? The second link was ‘Why eating in Sydney makes you fat.’ Pretty much sums it up.

This new wave of “American” DUDE FOOD is ridiculous. Apparently this is the answer to the ‘death of fine dining’ or the ‘new direction of 2013.’

This is one of the strangest markets to tap into. Is it food for dudes? Food made by dudes? Dude-certified food?

Basically, from what I’ve gathered, it’s ‘American’ style food with flair. But that is a contradiction. You can’t have dude food with flair.

According to The Age, the following qualifies as dude food. A cinnamon and sesame bun, with minced organic chicken, a bit of ginger and garlic, peppers, sweet and sour tomato relish and Japanese mayo.

Just, no.

Dude food is something a guy eats at 3am sitting in front of a video game wearing nothing but his boxers.

Dude food is that last piece of fried chicken that has been sitting in the bottom of the bucket for hours but he doesn’t even think twice about eating it.

Dude food is the greasy Chinese takeout you order when you’re at your boyfriend’s house and it’s raining, you’re both starving and you open his fridge to find nothing but a carton of expired milk.

Basically anything accompanied by: a) a can of beer, b) grease stains, or c) a layer of fried dough.

You can’t have fine dining dude food. It’s just not a thing.

Ordering dude food in a restaurant you would almost expect your waiter to be unshaven, rocking unwashed hair and sweatpants with grease stains on the thighs. Or Homer Simpson. But actually if you’re the one ordering dude food in a restaurant you may as well be Homer Simpson.

The fact that Australian cuisine is now following in the steps of American cuisine just doesn’t make sense to me. When I lived in Australia before, back in 2006, I remember being able to eat so many fresh ingredients, having lunch at school that was actually nutritious and not just processed junk and generally being a bit healthier. Coming back now it has all changed. There is so much more fattening food available everywhere you go. The majority of restaurants serve some kind of variation of fried chicken, dishes are bigger, loaded with cream and butter, you can get deep-fried anything and calorie counts are skyrocketing. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to look at Americans and know that they’re not eating well as a whole. Just because things taste good when they’re fried, stuffed with cheese or smothered in butter, doesn’t mean we should be encouraging people to eat them.

Why couldn’t we have gone in a different direction? Something like ‘Little Bites of Comfort,’ comfort food served in small, more nutritious sizes.

Especially after yesterday’s election, I am proud to be an American, but please stop Americanising and mayonnaising the food in Australia.

Because my self-restraint is not very strong. And if I have another bite of deep-fried pizza I’m blaming this dude food movement. And everyone involved!

Spread the rolls with mayonnaise and top with a piece of lettuce and slice of tomato. Cook the burgers in a pan or on the BBQ according to the package instructions. Once the burger is cooked lay it on the bun, top with cheese and put everything together.

Grease a 12-cup cupcake pan. Let the pastry defrost. Peel the apples and cut into small pieces. Mix together the white sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, flour, vanilla extract and salt. Add the mixture to the apples and mix together. Cut the pastry into small squares and push them into the cupcake pan. Fill each cup with a few spoonfuls of the apple mixture. Cut the remaining pastry into small strips and layer over the top of each mini pie. Bake in the oven at 190C for 35-40 minutes. Serve warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Mix the apples with the cinnamon sugar mixture.

Place the apples in the cupcake pan.

Add a lattice top.

Remove when they're golden and smell like the best thing there ever was.