Thursday, April 1, 2010

Congressman Hank Johnson (D-Ga) is concerned that too many Marines might make the island of Guam tip over and capsize. Or something.

Now, I could easily make fun of Congressman Johnson for this. Soooo easily.

But what if he's right?

No. No. Stop laughing. Forget everything you think you know about the laws of physics, geology, basic common sense... Just consider the possibility, and stay with me a sec.

What if... what if... every conservative in America were to head west. Waaaay west. Maybe if enough of us flocked to the California shoreline, we could tip America to the left - I mean WEST! - long enough to totally submerge the coast and beyond.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

If enough of us did go, and if Johnson is correct, we could conceivably SINK BERKELEY!

Go west, young (and old, what the hell?!) conservatives! Grab a lifejacket, a canoe, tow your fishing boat or your cabin cruiser... whatever you can think of that will keep you afloat to vote! We can tip this country back to the right by tipping it to the left first!