I am the First Lady of HR with a stellar career.
"People" is my middle name, on Tuesdays.
"Save a dollar, save a dime, spending cash is a corporate crime"

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Internet of Things, Bring your own device and Privatization of HR-The world according to Comrade Carl Marks

Mon dieu

Comrade Carl Marks stood up on a table at lunch time and asked everyone to stop eating in order to pay attention.

Carl rambled on for 15 minutes about the Internet of Things, explaining how useful it would be "to mesh ourselves into other peoples' crappy technology". Then Carl stated: "Big data is dead. Long live internet of things". The engineers clapped their hands, though few speak English.

Comrade Carl drank some 3 glasses of brandy, and started smoking a joint. Then he started talking again, this time with a Russian accent.Mon dieu! (That's French)

"Now let's look at BYOD, bring your own device. Until last year, our HR manager forced us all to use Blackberry devices just because its Canadian. Now, we are all free to use whatever we bloody device want to use. I use a device that has the Russian alphabet, the language of the oppressed people!

And, the time has come to use the BYOD principle for HR. Why do we all need to use the ladies of HR as business partners? What the fuck is HR business partnership, kibinimat? It's all a lie! It means screwing us all! We need a union! And we all need to be free to bring our own HR business partner from home".

The Comrade Carl looked at me and pronounced : "Gloria I love you but you are Stan's running dog. Christ, you have nice legs, but we need a union! And I insist on the privatization of HR business partnership."

Then Comrade Carl played a communist song in English, and we all got back to lunch.Btw, running dog is 走狗