Can’t Let Go

“Yesterday was White House chief of staff John Kelly’s first day on the job. It got awkward when he showed up and said, ‘Why are you writing my name on the door in dry erase marker?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Trump is apparently looking for a less prominent position for Scaramucci that wouldn’t require him to be seen very often. Scaramucci said, ‘You want me to be first lady?’” — JIMMY FALLON

The Punchiest Punchlines (Spam Edition)

“I don’t know about you but this [expletive] is starting to scare me. They have a missile that can hit New York? If it can make it here, it can make it anywhere.” — TREVOR NOAH, discussing the capability of North Korea’s nuclear arsenal

“Anthony Scaramucci also fell for the spam. In fact the only person who finally caught on was Eric Trump. Eric was immediately suspicious when someone in the administration tried to talk to him.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on the recent email spam attack on the White House by a British hacker

The Bits Worth Watching

The Bible and “The Art of the Deal” have one thing in common, Seth Meyers said.

“I’ve just eaten some Lego.”

What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night

Dave Chappelle just began a 10-show run at Radio City Music Hall, and to discuss it he’ll join Mr. Colbert on “The Late Show.”

Also, Check This Out

A film as widely loathed by critics as “The Emoji Movie” doesn’t come around every day. But there have certainly been some. Here’s a look at some of the scathing reviews that have greeted movies dismal enough to receive a “0 percent” score on the ratings website Rotten Tomatoes.