1. It’s NXT time and we kick off with the perfectly glorious team of Bobby Roode and Tye Dillinger taking on the debuting Sanity, who look like a create-a-wrestler stable designed by a 10 year old.

2. The interplay between Roode and Dillinger before the match is excellent, and the crowd seem to be interested in Sanity. Alexander Wolfe and Sawyer Fulton are representing Sanity, and as a tag team they are sort of okay. Apparently intimidated by pudgy mediocrity, Roode walks out on Dillinger leading to a nice double team move and Sanity victory.

3. After the match Vicki Cross beats on Tye for a while and screams and Eric Young reveals himself to be leader of Sanity after hitting a sick front lifting powerbomb on Dillinger. Sanity proceed to the second round, and I really hope they’re operating on Freebird rules…

4. Now it’s time for an Interview with the Aussie mean girls, and I wonder how many people are baffled by their accents. Billie Kay is taking on Liv Morgan next, and we cut to an angry Bobby Roode justifying why he walked out on Dillinger. Gold from Roode, as usual.

5. Morgan starts out strong but Billie uses some classic heel moves to wear the plucky Jersey native down. The crowd is pretty quiet for most of the match, and Peyton Royce doesn’t do much on the outside until the inevitable blatant interference late in the match. The ref sees it, but does nothing as Billie hits the big boot for the pinfall victory. Solid performance from Liv, decent showing from Billie, but that ref needs to go back to ref school…

6. Recap of Cien Almas turning on Cedric Alexander after their match last week, which Almas justifies by saying he is the best. Someone should show him the Bobby Roode masterclass in heel logic from earlier.

7. It’s another match in the Dusty Classic as TM61 take on Breaking Ground star Tino Sabbatelli and Riddick Moss, another ex-NFL star who might as well have ‘jobber’ stencilled on his tights.

8. Thorne and Miller work hard to make the former footballers look good, and I am reminded of the in-ring stylings of Steve ‘Mongo’ McMichael. Moss tries to sell as the crowd chants ‘we want Tino/no we don’t’ – gotta love that Full Sail audience. Tino holds an armlock forever and kills the pace of the match, them almost kills Thorn dead with a power slam. Nice work, action man. After some more barely held together action TM61 hit the Thunder Valley on Tino for the win. TM61 deserve better opponents.

9. Oh, FFS. It’s Buddy Murphy taking on Wesley Blake, and how long before Samoa Joe appears to beat the crap out of both of them? Of course, that would make him the biggest face in the place… The boys try for intensity but literally nobody in the crowd cares. After some forgettable stuff Murphy hits a plancha to wake up the viewers and Joe finally appears to end the shenanigans, putting a hurting on both former partners.

10. Joe calls out Regal, but Nakamura responds holding the belt and wearing a neck brace, which he immediately discards, because what do WWE medical staff know, right? Nakamura hits the ring and attacks Joe, and security (including the distinctive Mada from Breaking Ground) break it up to the disgust of the crowd. Security apparently suck at their jobs because Joe and Shinsuke repeatedly break free to keep fighting, which becomes even more amusing as Nakamura takes out random security guards for fun. After an extended brawl they make it to the ring, Nakamura hits the Kinchasa and stands tall over a fallen Joe. Well, I guess he got what he wanted…