Maria Montenez-Colon, of Punta Gorda, Florida first contacted her local police station to report that she wanted her stepson to return a Corvette, which she gave to him after her husband’s death. And that’s when things got strange.

When the officer arrived at Montenez-Colon’s house, he found her intoxicated. Montenez-Colon told him she was in the mood. He was “sexy.”

Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, “I haven’t been penetrated in years,” and “I am so horny.”

The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her.

Montenez-Colon’s response was “You can [expletive] me,” according to the report.

…

While relaying the car ownership tale, police say Montenez-Colon repeatedly tried to grab the officer’s arm and tried to rub her hands on his chest.

The officer managed to get away, but Montenez-Colon wasn’t done! This tiger had to get a few things off her chest: Less than an hour later, the Floridian (there it is) called 911 again to complain that her officer had treated her poorly.

This is so good:

Less than an hour later, Montenez-Colon called 911 again, complaining the officer who was at her home “pissed her off.”

The original officer arrived, along with a second officer.

Montenez-Colon reportedly complained about the original visit to the second officer, saying, “He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me, he turned me down so that made me angry.”

When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, “I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?”