For the past few weeks, we’ve been talking about Saturday Night Live, as you, our loyal readers who grace these pages to learn about people with silly names and weird burritos, have collectively wondered, “Why?” We…we don’t know. There’s a sort of historical significance to who hosts Saturday Night Live, we guess. Each season’s rosters of hosts are a miniature time capsule of where America was as a culture in that given year. Sometimes that leads to hosts that were famous for like a hot second in the 00s, sometimes it leads to relevant-at-the-time sports figures, and sometimes the 1980s happen and we have to come to terms with that. And sometimes they go with a specific type of famous figure that accounts for by far the strangest category of performer that SNL trots out with any regularity. The humble (hah) politician. SNL has a lot of politicians host, and it’s always weird and awkward. Which seems like a good enough reason to include them in our list of random SNL hosts. So here you go.

“Well, uh, that Biden fella is goofy looking and, uh, I believe we should make him the Vice President.”

~President Barack Obama

American Presidents run the gauntlet from “Ugly as sin” to “Your wife would bone him, let’s be honest” as far as physical attractiveness goes. But, to be President of the world’s greatest nation that only gets better when you remove the letter “e” from its name, you have to have a pretty large, healthy ego. So, for most Amrrican Presidents, there have been terrifying looking monster serving as their Vice-President. The more you think about it, the more sense it makes- much like a Bride giving her Maids of Honor ugly dresses to wear, the President wants the Vice-President to be there to make them look good. As much as her politics, rhetoric, and speeches were incredibly divisive and damaging to John McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign, what really doomed him from the start was that he decided to choose a running mate who makes you feel sort of funny when you see how she looks in a bikini with a gun. Meanwhile, an old man and a MILF were running against a young man and the puppet from Jeff Dunham’s stand up ventriloquist bits.

Young man with a puppet running mate win every time.

It’s American to be an ugly Vice-President, and honestly, there are so few instances of non-monster-like vice presidents that those that don’t look like a child of Mothra end up having an easy ticket into the White House. Plus, we’re pretty sure that the only reason Teddy Roosevelt was a Vice-President before becoming President was that he threatened to shoot McKinley if he wasn’t made VP before pointing at his nose and saying, “That’s called foreshadowing, asshole.”

So as the representatives of the pulse of this fine nation, AFFotD is primed to run down a list of the 10 ugliest American Vice-Presidents. Because even if they achieved more power than we ever can hope to come close to, we can take solace in the fact that no one remembers their names, and they were goofy looking. Like, really goofy looking.

[editor’s note- though it’s an easy target most people can recognize, we are not putting Dick Cheney on this list, mainly because our research staff found a picture from his High School Yearbook, and the majority of our female staffers said, “Holy shit, I’d actually bang that guy.”]