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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Starbucks booth located. Caramel Frappuccino ordered. Paid fortune. Seriously. For EURO 4.80 I would expect at least a neck rub to go with it, though a foot rub would have been acceptable too. The plan: go to gate, drink coffee, enjoy music on iPod. Sounds like a sound plan, right? In theory it was. And then there was the reality. Found seat, sat down, took 1st sip and there is the voice announcing that we have to start going through security. Being number 2 in line meant a quick check, first seated again and enjoyment. Nope. Wrong. (My glass is seriously starting to look half empty at this point). No can take Frappuccino with me. No can do. I knew that you can’t bring in drinks from the outside, but this one was bought right outside of the gate. I honestly thought that the guy at the scanner was pulling my leg, but alas, he was serious.

Down I sat, next to the scanner, downing my Frappuccino. The one that wasn’t even as good as it was supposed to. A few minutes later my tummy was filled with sugar and caffeine and I was ready to go through the scanner, exposing once again my female bits through X-ray to some stranger with a mustache. Contrary to exiting the USA, this time my lip gloss had to be bagged up. I understand. I mean, all the harm you can cause with some bright pink lip gloss. Not containable. Any more liquids? Nope, that’s it. Chapstick is still in solid form, thanks to the climate control here. Boots off? No, not necessary according to the guy who had me drown my stomach with Frappuccino. Belt off? No, not necessary. Items go through scanner, I’m about to step into the X-ray vision machine as a voice says “Boots off!!” What? I’m confused now. First I can keep them on. Then I have to take them off. Okay, I’ll strip myself of my knee-highs.

Once determined that my bones are all still in place and that I have no lip gloss or other dangers strapped to myself, I get pulled aside as my carry on suitcase apparently still contains a liquid. WHAAT? Huh? Totally confused now. Really, this morning isn’t going so well at this point. I open up my suitcase only to realize…SH*T! Damn, I TOTALLY forgot!! The Father’s Day present I had bought for David. Crap! Really, that only happens today. Had it been any other day, I would have had to foresight to remember. Not today. Good thing is that the amount still fell within the allowed amount, but if I could open it up. You mean, tear the sealed bag open that they put it in when I purchased it right before boarding in Los Angeles? Sure, whatever. If I could open the package. Why? It still has the cellophane wrapping around it, sealed and all. Professionally done by Hugo Boss himself! Okay, whatever, just don’t even think about taking this from me because you will experience someone throwing a fit in a way you have never experienced before, nor will ever experience again. Bottle got opened. Hey, while you’re at it, why not spray some on to test the smell?

Finally, I was able to put the bottle back and take it with me. Thank you. Can’t say the glass is filling up again, but at least it’s not going down more and more.

So, here we are: with way more people than there are seats in the waiting area, waiting to board our plane. To the people standing I say: hey, you get 11 hours to sit, so enjoy the standing while you can. At the same time I am happy to be seated, jealous of the guy next to me who just whipped out an iPad. Now whereas I don’t necessarily want an iPad, I do suspect that he is not as paranoid about its battery dying as I am about my laptop’s battery – after all, there are no electrical outlets here.

Now, I do absolutely ADORE the iPod David gave me for Mother’s Day. In the synching process with the iTunes content that my computer at home holds, it also moved over the little recordings we have made of Kai. Just now I was surprised by hearing his voice saying the alphabet backwards, followed by “I love you mommy”. [melt] Glass is filling up at a rapid pace now.