OnSugar Blog: We're a Little 1940s

OK, so I know we live in the "new age" of feminism, but does that mean that we have to be completely independent? I mean, what's wrong with wanting to stay at home to raise my two boys while my husband works? I have to admit that before I got pregnant with "Cookie" I was yearning to go back to work, make more money and balance a happy home-work life. I was stuck on the fact that I "needed" time to myself for adult interaction and lunch breaks. BUT then he arrived and all that changed in an instant. How could I leave that little face? REALITY CHECK — I had to.....instantly I started to weigh out the work/home factors.

Alas, I found comfort in the past. I mean, how did so many mothers do it before? Easily, they didn't overspend, they assumed their "role" (I know, but true) and they did all this happily! I admit the beginning was tough, a screaming baby with colic and bills to pay, laundry to do, and the endless list of housework! Housework! Housework! I was raised a "princess" and for me this was all a BIG change!! So, I did it, not happily, but I did it. Then one day, it all hit me (while watching Dr. Phil), Why can't we have it all? If I changed my attitude just a little, then my husband and my baby would be a lot happier too!

After an endless conversation with my other half, we both concluded that no job is easy and that I was in the favorable role. So I began making meals from scratch (yes me), baby food on my own, cleaning the house and doing the laundry all while making sure my bills were paid and my baby and husband were well taken care of — I even iron his shirts!! Ironically, you know what? I wouldn't change any of this for the world and every day I am thankful that I have the past to thank for this example.

So, when people ask "How do you do it?" I answer with a smile, "I love it!" and I do! I couldn't imagine missing those first words, steps or even a second while I have the chance. I know that one day I will yearn for these little moments as my sons are running out the door....

The 1940's what a happy time — kids were kids, marriage was great and the sun was always shining! OK, well not all the time.

In response to all this feedback (which is appreciated)....I am not glorifying the 1940's. Yes it was a time of real heartache, but the simple concept of having a "role" and actually enjoying it is what I was after. As well, I DO work A LOT from home, it isnt stated here, but it is a fact. I am all for feminism, but where is the line drawn? why cant we do both?
xoxo

I agree with runningesq. There's nothing wrong or anti-feminist in being a stay at home mom, but it should be taken more seriously than "Oh, I get to be home all day with my kids, fantastic!". Being unemployed for such a long period of time really narrows your possibilities down the road, and it can lead to a tricky situation in case of a divorce or the husband being laid off. Not to mention that when the kids grow up and become independent many women don't find the stay at home life so fulfilling as it used to be...

If she's happy then that's great - my problem is how she came to be in the 'favorable role' - Now she may have been in an hourly job that was always going to pay less than her husband's, been less educated, etc. BUT, even if she and her husband were equally qualified at the start of their careers, because the companies she worked for predicted her future pregnancy/time out of the workforce it became a self-fulfilling prophecy where she wasn't given as many opportunities or invested in as much as her husband (or another man) was, so that she was always going to be the one who stayed home... and that's a problem.

Thank you, HoneyBrown. The rosy colored glasses way of looking at the past - which was horrible for many people, unless you were white and middle - upper class.
And Anon @ 4: Feminism hasn't hindered anyone. Feminism is the belief that women are equal to men and deserve to live in a safe and equal society.
And to the OP: I hope you never get divorced. The divorce rate is high and I know of many women who are hurting financially because they chose to 'play house' and now have no income, no skills, and no resume.

Yeah, the 40s were a great time if you had the right skin tone, sexuality, or religion. I absolutely cannot stand the ignorant mindset of those nostalgic for "better times".

5 years

thank you for writing this!! I feel the same way! I feel feminism is so misunderstood. It is not about women having to act "exactly like men"-it's about CHOICE. the choice to have a career if that is what a woman wants or the CHOICE to stay home and raise children if that is what a woman wants. one is not better than the other. it's only about doing what will make us happy and realize that we should respect all women's choices. For myself, being a full-time stay at home mom was something I always wanted to do in the way that some women have always wanted to be a doctor. it's no different!

5 years

This is exactly how I feel! I am so happy taking care of my "woman's work." Feminism has done a great deal of good for women, but has also hindered us in a lot of ways. How could raising my children and loving the life that I am able to have be a bad thing? I love it.

Um...1940s were WWII. NOT a happy time whatsoever in America...your husband would have been off to war and you would have been making meals with food bought from ration coupons. I believe that the decade you're looking for is the 1950s.

5 years

I love this! I feel the exact same way!!! (And the clothes from the 40's weren't too bad either ;)