Supporting churches to include people with Autism and Learning Disabilties

To communicate effectively with someone with autism or Asperger’s – don’t use too many words.

I am a great waffler! In fact, I could get a medal waffling for my country. I love words, explaining things and even (now don’t be shocked) talking about the weather. I have been known to be a bit nosey, occasionally gossip (sorry) and even nag. But guess what? Effective communication is efficient communication.

1. Say what you mean.
2. Keep it short and simple.
3. Say what you want, not what you don’t want.
4. Don’t repeat things too quickly.
5. Use the person’s name first.
6. Be relaxed and stop rushing, we always seem to be in a rush don’t we?

I tried this out on my own kids when they were younger. You might recognise the scenario… It’s 7.55am. Everyone needs to be out of the house by 8.00am. Oldest child has yet to emerge from their room, youngest is still eating their toast. Mum goes into full nagging and panic mode,
“Have you made your lunch? Where’s your shoes? Have you got everything in your bag? Don’t forget to brush your teeth! And you’ll need your coat, it’s raining. Come on, you’ve only got 5 minutes. I said COME ON, GET A MOVE ON.”
Mum then runs to the bottom of the stairs,
“Oi, you’d better be out of bed, you’ve got 5 minutes………” (and repeats the entire tirade!

I hated getting to work stressed and minus something really important (usually my lunch) because I’d been nagging the kids so much, we’d barely got out of the house in one piece and in time.

The above points needed to be put in practice. They worked for the ASD kids so I tried them out on my own.

Now the morning went like this:
It’s 7.55am. Everyone needs to be out of the house by 8.00am. Oldest child has yet to emerge from their room, youngest is still eating their toast. Mum goes into calm and effective communication mode.

This is brilliant all the things I was taught, I have a son with autism diagnosed when he was 23 months old he’s now almost 10. The only thing I’d add is when asking questions always say the same things don’t rephrase the question or else they have to keep starting over trying to work out what you’ve said! Something my father can’t get no matter how many times I tell him and he hasn’t got a learning difficulty!