Since she was a little girl, Ellen knew she was different–but it wasn’t until junior high that realized she wasn’t attracted to boys. She worked hard to shut off her attraction to girls, but being dishonest with herself made it hard for to be honest with others, including her parents. In college, Ellen converted to the Church, but hearing her ward members blame the world’s problems on gay people brought up all of Ellen’s fears and shame. She held onto the missionaries’ promise that sacrifice and covenants would lead to blessings–and the the biggest blessing she desired was to not be gay. She put in her mission papers, hoping her service would lead God to remove her attraction to women.

Shortly before getting endowed in the temple, Ellen disclosed her orientation to her bishop, although she was living the law of chastity. He bishop revoked her temple recommend and told her that Christ’s Atonement doesn’t cover the sin of homosexuality. Ellen was crushed, and although her next bishop responded with much more kindness, she still wrestled with the question of why she was gay. A short time later, while praying in the baptistry of the Oqrr Mountain Temple, Ellen received a strong spiritual witness that God loved her as she was, and that she should find a wife and prepare for a family. This revelation enabled Ellen to rise above her depression and begin dating while still attending Church. Having the Spirit in her life has not gone away because she is gay and dating women.

(The views expressed in this interview do not necessarily reflect those of the producers of Far Between but are reflective of some aspects of what it means to be LGBT and Mormon today.)