"Although I speak from my own experience, I feel that no one has the right to impose his or her beliefs on another person. I will not propose to you that my way is best. The decision is up to you. If you find some point which may be suitable for you, then you can carry out experiments for yourself. If you find that it is off no use, then you can discard it." Dalai Lama...

Friday, 29 May 2009

Third time lucky ;-)

Milly and I spent a very relaxed morning at home.We were both on computers and I was making calls and clearing paperwork.At the moment we have no sofas in the living room so Milly prefers to sit at the dining room table on the laptop and I was at the desk in the living room.Milly has MSN on both so we communicated online for a bit of fun:-0 Her typing and spelling is coming on in leaps and bounds!!

Out to do some shopping and Milly had not wanted to go to the play park or read on one of the benches near the river as I had suggested but as we were leaving she decided to take her new sketchbook she had bought from Muncaster.

We got to the car park and she asked to go along the river before going into town.We eventually found a bench where we could sit and she roughly sketched the scene over the river,we then walked on and found a place she could paddle.The sun was shining and she was squealing with delight and splashing around with a stick and we talked about the differences she had noticed in the way the stick went through the water when it was deeper and then when it was shallow.

After a while I looked at the time and was in a hurry to get what we had to do done and then I watched her face and realised there were better things to do on a gloriously sunny day and said ""You really want to get wet don't you love" and she most definitely didn't need asking twice!!Within minutes she was sitting down and splashing herself.I wish I had my camera it was lovely and she bought a smile to the faces of the people that passed by :-0

Didn't get in to do the shopping at all in the end,just have to fit it in tomorrow:-)

Back home and a few jobs to get done before getting ready to go out to Maryport for the outdoor event they had planned.Third time to see an organised event in 6 days, after Carlisle and Muncaster.This one had good weather and a big crowd and luckily some entertaining acts and a spectacular high wire act and fireworks!!

There were low points,the ques for ice creams and candy floss and the loos, but they could be expected with big crowds.There were quite a few large groups rather worse for wear and one of the downsides because of that was that a couple of young guys decided to shout obscenities at one of the acts.

All in all I would say we enjoyed it because of the quality of the acts and the high wire act was breathtaking.I took some pictures but haven't had time to download them so I may add later on.

Milly's Justgiving page for Little Princess Trust.

Milly's Facebook Charity Page

Milly's Charity Blog

Milly's JustGiving Page for Cancer research

We are on a journey....

After taking our daughter out of school we decided on an autonomous approach and set off full of hope. The journey so far has not always been easy - but it has been worth it. We have our happy, funny, loving daughter back again. It also seems possible this unconventional way of living will change our lives for ever. Would you like to join us on the journey as we grow and learn more about unschooling and what it means for us?

Reclaiming our life.

Ebay account

When I set about creating this blog The title and blog description just came to me one night.It simply flowed without thought at all.Many months later I discovered John Holt and this quote!!

"A life worth living and work worth doing - that is what I want for all children." - John Holt.

This is me.....

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter.

Kindness

"This is my simple religion.There is no need for temples; no need for complicatedphilosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." The Dalai Lama.

Karma...

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Wayne Dyer

A collection of quotes....

Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations. Let your kids be who they are, and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit... Robert Brault.

'You can't give what you don't have,' some people say, and if you want your children to give generosity and kindness and patience to others, you should give them so much they're overflowing with it. ** —Sandra Dodd

Why we Home educate

( Slightly edited from a blog post I did when we started out) In the end the actual decision to take Emily out only took a matter of days but before that it had been around a year and a half of talking about ti and reading books, Free range education by Terri Dowty, Educating your child at home by Jane Lowe and Alan Thomas were two that had a real impact for different reasons. Free range education has lots of examples of real life home educators and I think I can say that it was this one that convinced me the most that we could do it.We are two very average people ,neither of us left school with many qualifications, we went on to do quite well in our chosen professions and had no need to think about the education system at all until Emily came along.I knew about home education and when Emily was born considered it as an optionbut always felt my lack of education would be a problem and that I wouldn't be capable of providing her with what she would need.Looking back with hindsight it is easy to see how wrong I was!!

School never really suited Emily......After the nursery year at a very highly rated, high achieving school we knew that particular School wasn't for us and took her out. We enrolled her in a lovely village school with only 70 children in the whole school .The ethos of the school was totally different, the children didn't wear uniforms and there was much more emphasis on the children being individuals.The head was a sensitive and principled man who wanted the best for the children. We thought we had struck gold.Over the reception and year 1 Emily gained confidence and really started to bloom. It was at this time she was diagnosed with dyspraxia( we had had to go down the diagnosis route as our observations of Emily's difficulties were not enough to enable the teachers to tailor things so she was helped and given less work in class) but she managed quite well in the more relaxed play orientated early years.Year 2 with more emphasis on academic activities got progressively harder for her. She is very sensitive and it wasn't just the academic side it was the embarassment of having to put her hand up for the toilet,seeing others being told off and worrying in case she did something wrong and got the same treatment, panicking because she couldn't do the work and the teacher never had time to sit with her (alot of this did not come out until she had left school) her behaviour at home became worse and worse she was so angry and obviously stressed . At this time we began to seriously consider taking her out but held back because of my lack of confidence in my ability to provide her with an adequate education ,my health being so poor was also a major stumbling block.

Then in year three it became blatantly obvious that something needed to change .She was struggling on all levels and we couldn't allow the school system to damage our daughter anymore.She became ill with a bug that was doing the rounds and she was off for two weeks , during that time I had a conversation with a friend who home educates her two children and I was so upset I couldn't make a decision and she said just go with whats in your heart and that really helped me to shift my thinking and stop worrying about what I couldn't give her and focus on what I could give her.

We never sent her back.I still get emotional when I think of that time , the look on Emily's face when we told her she would never have to go back to school was priceless,the immense sense of relief that we were off the treadmill of school life and the excitement of the time ahead and to be honest the fear of the unknown......

So here we are four years on and a lot of reading and researching later I feel comfortable with what we are doing . The changes that have happened so far have been helped along the way by the many wonderful blogs out there.They are so varied and there are so many different approaches , I have found ones that I can identify with and have read a lot of archive material that has been written in each and found answers to so many of the questions I have had that they have helped me to sort out what will work best for us .As much as I wish we had done this earlier and saved Emily from the distress that she went through I do believe things happen for a reason and that the time was right for us to take her out and that looking on the bright side one of the benefits is that at least she has had a taste of school and now we all know without a doubt that it is not for us !!!!

It is very liberating to be making decisions based on what works best for us as a family and not what society expects.

About Me

Life really did begin for me at 40! 39 to be precise, when Emily was born ;-).I have been married very happily for 25 years to Alan.I am gradually recovering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome after 12 years and we are home educating our Twelve year old daughter Emily.Whole life Unschooling is the label I would use to help others understand the way we home educate.In practice that means that Emily has free choice to do what she finds interesting at any given time.We believe that learning happens all the time,in her own way and at her own pace and we aim to provide her with things that are interesting and fun for her to do,but accept if she chooses not to do them.We have moved away from set bedtimes and restrictions on food.With our guidance she is learning to listen to her body.Still working on it and by no means "there" yet but enjoying the journey and the unexpected benefit has been the growth Alan and I have gone through having to challenge our thinking about educational/parenting methods.It's all good and getting better by the day.

Home ed group today.We actually managed to get to it this week!! It has been AGES since we made it to a meet up with the group - various rea...

"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."Buddha

I found this at the bottom of my Blog and decided I like it so much it needed to be somewhere I can see it daily ;-))Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in, broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly shouting, 'WOW'.... Beth Moore.

petal

created for me by milly

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A few qoutes I like....

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in, broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly shouting, 'WOW'.... Beth Moore

The perpetual testing of public school children is like a gardener constantly pulling his plants up by the roots to see if they are growing....(unknown)

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instuction...Helen Kellers teacher

I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand...Confusious