Tuesday, January 22, 2013

As most of you already know, 2013 started with a great news which was published at Greek NEWS 247 with the title "TheTurkish Woman Who Insists to Write Greek". This was the interview the Greek journalist, Stefanos Nikitas, -who read my blog which I had tried to writte in Greek,- had with me. If you already can speak Greek and have not read the interview yet you canClick Hereto read it. However, for who can not read Greek, here is the interview in English.

I don't want to talk too much now, so, to make long story short, now you will read about an interview of a Turk who insists to learn Greek, and who does believe in the power of Love.

Enjoy!

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Interview: TheTurkish Woman Who Insists to Write Greek

G. Nur Bilek spoke to the NEWS 247 and sent a message of friendship and peace to Greeks. How her love to the language led her to learn to write Greek...

Nur Bilek was 7 years old when she got memorized the Greek Alphabeth in Izmir, where she grew up and went to school. After having graduated from the department of Psychology at the University in Bursa, now she learns Greek, the language she loved since childhood, at the Greek Consulate in Istanbul.

We have been informed about her blog with a tweet. You can find her blog post in Greeklish Here!

Her effort is great. Despite the Greeklish, and spelling errors, Nur shows how much she loves the language, music, and the culture.

She agreed to answer the questions of NEWS 247 saying how she feels honoured and pleased to speak on the Greek-Turkish relations. Through her responses she sends the message that nothing separates the two peoples.

Stefanos Nikitas: Where did you learn Greek and why did you choose to learn this difficult language?

G. Nur Bilek: I started to learn Greek at the Greek Consulate in Istanbul as they give Greek lessons by Greek teachers. So a big thanks should go to the previous Greek Counsul General for founding this language school, and to the current Counsul General for supporting the lessons so far. - Well, I still don't know why but I memorized the Greek Alphabeth when I was 7 (as I also mentioned on my blog). I'm still wondering the reason why and if living in Izmir had an effect on my will to learn Greek, as I grew up in Izmir. - The funny thing is that from the very first moment I started to learn Greek, many people -including even some Greeks- always asked me "Why do you learn Greek, they're in crisis?!" though you never hear this question if you attempt to learn English or Spanish, Russian, Chinese, even French or Italian. Maybe I had to repeat the same answer again and again and I said "Really, don't know, I just follow my heart." It's something like my "inner call" says me I should do that, and that's it!

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SN:You graduated from psycology. What are your professional plans? Will you like one day to work in Greece and why?

NB: Graduating from psychology was the only area I wanted to graduate from, and thankfully, I did it. I started my university studies in Turkey, and later on I went to study in Torino (Italy) with Erasmus Scholarship. - After so many serious education, and international work experience, I am also a professional career coach. Besides, I am about to start a new business will allow me to manage national and international projects. I always worked internationally which gave me a lot of insight, and shaped my view and perception for the world and myself. And I am planning to work always internationally, as I feel myself a global citizen. In my 2013 plans, there are many travels to Greece for both leisure and business trips, hopefully. We say here "Insallah (if God lets me do it)" and Greeks says "πρωτα ο Θεος". I would be "always" very happy to work with Greece and Greek friends, whether it is developing a business or friendship. And if I could work for developing the heart to heart links for both countries, then I will count myself as the happiest person of the world at the end of of 2013 (Related to developing the emotional, cultural, and friendship connection between our countries, if a proposal comes from the Greek side I would be more than happy to work with our Greek friends). As I mentioned before, I have also some plans to develop business between Turkey and Greece within 2013, and hoping to develop them successfully by the end of 2013.

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SN: What is your opinion about Greek people?

NB: I feel myself so close to the Greek people. As you may heard it before maybe so many times, the two people are incredibly similar to each other. Our mentalities, cultures, appearences (you may not distinguish the difference between a Turkish and a Greek person, apperantly), emotions, the things we laugh for or cry for are so similar, even sometimes the same. Maybe that is why Turkish TV series are so popular and touches Greek people's heart. - Another thing, we had the same painful experiences in the past. I believe that Greeks and the Turks were the best neighbours and created the best neighbourhoods in the past in both sides of the Aegean Sea. They visited their houses maybe 3 times a day, they cooked the same foods, so that is why we have extremely many common words which are especially home-related ones; they sat in the streets to chat and in the cafes for long converstions everyday, and the most important thing is they were the first neighbours when it came to help eachother, and created unforgettable memories. And finally they fell in love with each other. But, one day something happened and unfortunately two people had to seperate which was extremely painful for each people. And that time they had some other thing in common: being have to leave each other, knowing that they would never see each other again. So we shared the same country and the same culture which almost made us "one". How come and two people don't love each other! If there is a person who claims that s/he doesn't like the other country's people, it's like swearing at oneself.

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SN: What do you think about the Greek economic crises? What do Turkish people say about that?

NB: Well, I would like to provide you and answer from two different perspectives. From developmental and social psychological point of view; everything has a reason behind, and when it comes to the crisis in Greece what we all need to do is to be able to see the real reasons behind. Sometimes it may be found very easily by many people, but most of the time we all need to be a bit wiser to understand as the reality or the reason may not be as what it seems. I, personally, believe that the crisis in Greece is not a matter of money, but a matter of attitude toward life. I know that in Greece, so many people have some other people to blame (as a result of cultural tendency- don't worry, we have the same attitude, I told you how similar we are) and those who are blamed also have some others to blame, and it goes on like this... Untill a wiser and braver "leader" appears. If we really want to know the real reasons that caused the crise we should all go back to our childhood to remember one of our common memories. When we were small kids, whenever "WE" hit our legs or head to the corner of table, one of our parents came and hit the table back to punish the poor innocent table several times till we stopped crying. And it always happened like that. Therefore we "learned" that we never do mistake, but the others. Though it seems as a childhood memory, it has become an attitute towards life for us, and we learned to blame anyone but ourselves. As the fact that in life, everything has a circle, I'm aware of that the crisis in Greece is a part of circle, too, which means that after dark days, soon, the bright days will come. The circles are real, therefore the enlightment is always inevitable.

On the other hand, the Greek economic crisis can be described by both the perspective of the Turkish business community and that of the general people as a whole. From the first perspective it can be surmised that Greece has seen in the last twenty years substantial public sector spending and an immediate example can be the billions of euros that were spent in hosting the Olympics and the huge expenditure that resulted in putting together the infrastructure. Was Greece able to get its investment back and indeed, was the infrastructure able to create revenues after the Olympics were completed? In addition, huge funds have been expended on other infrastructure related investments and all this has to be met by the Greek taxpayer. Huge borrowings from the EU have lead to immense budget deficits and Greece cannot rely solely upon its tourism receipts, which though substantial do not cover the public sector borrowing as well as interest payments to EU loans. It can be assumed also that the EU appears to have abandoned Greece. In a recent comment by a French politician, it was said that Greece is 'not really a part of Europe but more a part of the East'. These are fundamentally important comments which give rise to much of the sentiment felt by many people who believe that the EU has left Greece "on its own". This can also be characterised by much of what is being said by many in Europe and Germany's stance is one that is not to be considered sincere. The Greek culture is very similar to that of Turkey but one of the main issues is that Greece has not invested in industry, be it hi-tech or conventional manufacturing. The Greek government has not incentivised the business community in any substantial way and thus Greece has not been able to develop to a high level its ability to produce goods and increase value added export sales.

From the perspective of the normal man in Turkey, I think he feels that Greece has been abandoned by its European partners and that it will need to stand alone and seek help from neighbours both from a economic perspective and from a political perspective. Turkey recently waived from immediate a $300million dollar payment due to its exchequer from Greece. Turkey's friendship towards Greece is sincere and rooted in a relationship that could prove to be fruitful in the future and many people believe this in Turkey.

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SN: I read in your blog that you visited Thesaloniki. How was the hospitality? Did you visit other cities? What is your opinion about Greek people?

NB: Well, this is the best part of the interview for me. My visit to Thessaloniki was one of the best memories in my life though it was only a two day trip. My only aim was to walk on the streets, walk in the shops randomly, and talk to the people as much as I could, but in Greek. When I went to Thessaloniki my Greek was much poorer than I have now and I knew I spoke like Tarzan... I stopped by many shops, libraries, restaurants... And you have no idea how much hospitable Thessaloniki people were to me so that they made me feel like home. Everytime I explained that I came from Istanbul, I saw their eyes shining with a great, sincere smile. I could see their happiness from their eyes, body language and their attutude towards me. A salesperson gave me a map of Thessaloniki as a gift. And the hotel I stayed has such a beautiful location and sea view from the terrace which I had amazing breakfasts with delicious cookies were particular to Thessaloniki. And I can't forget the 1,5 hour I spent in the bookshop which was by the sea, how much I struggled to find some very basic-level books I could understand. - And obviously, Thessaloniki looked like my hometown, Izmir, so much. With its coast and many bars and restaurants along the coast of Thessaloniki it so much reminded me the coasts of Izmir.

The interesting thing is that Thessaloniki has been the only place I have been so far in Greece. So, it all means that I had loved a country even before I went there. However, as I mentioned before I am planning to have many trips to Greece for 2013 including Athens, Corfu, and Halkidiki, and some other islands; and hopefully one of them will be to listen to Marios Frangoulis again whom I wrote and dedicated one of my blog post himself 1,5 years ago right after I listened to him lively in Istanbul. He is a person I do appreciate firstly his "personality", and then his voice and music. One of my biiggest wishes is to meet him someday and know him personally. You canClick Hereto read the blog post I wrote for about Mario Frangoulis.

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SN: Do you think that the “war” between our conties is political or something else?

NB: What war!? Let's go to steet and ask people randomly how they were treated during their visit to Turkey. I told mine already above. The so called 'animosity' that has historically existed between the Greek and Turkish peoples is very much a political manifestation and sadly many people have been brainwashed into believing that there are great differences between the two nations. Greeks and Turks have lived side by side for generations (and still do) in both Turkey and Greece alike though today not with the same numbers. As people, Greeks and Turks get on very well with each other, the huge cultural similarities, the food, to a large extent the music and in many ways the social morality is very similar. over time, governments with interests in Greece have used Greece and its geo-political positioning and forged incorrect ideas in the minds of people and thus these so called 'animosities' have evolved. When Turks travel to Greece they are treated with great respect and vice versa.

I have never seen two nations which love each other sincerely that much. Any blame that lies for the creation of possible bad feelings lies largely at a political level but in modernity, I think both Greeks and Turks now know the real feelings of warmth they have for each other. We can not let our friendship to be damaged by unfortunate statements of some politicians. As the rest of the people in Turkey I grew up with a great saying "Peace at home, peace in the world." which we inherited from Mustafa Kemal Atatürk and the sayings of the wise philosopher, poet, Mevlana Rumi. From both two views we have been always taught that Turkey always will try to do its best to save the "Peace". From Greece or Turkey, we may see some people still have "animosity". Personally, I treat all these people with love. And I have never, ever come back home without his/her love and respect. We should never forget that "love" which may be the reason of the universe is above all. Just like Sophocles said, "Love Conquers War". Finally, I would like to summary the whole text with an old Sufi poem:

"Come, let us be friends for once; let us make life easy on us; let us be lovers and the loved ones; the earth shall be left to no one."

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Have you ever known a
person who has a strong dislike one of his friends and believes that his friend
hates him instead?

(Well, take your time
and think about this for a while...)

Now the question is:
Have you ever felt this way before?

Ok, no worries... No one
will blame you for what you've felt before; it's just normal. This was only
"Projection" which is one of the defense mechanisms according to the
Freudian Psychoanalitic Theory (an unconscious psychological strategy which
helps us to cope with the reality and maintain self-image)

Today I wanted to write
about this subject as I always found it as one of the most interesting subjects
of Psychology.

"A Psychology degree was
the only thing I have ever wanted to have as it was a perfect fit and very
intellectually fulfilling for me. So, I am so happy I could be able to
achieve one of my biggest goals in my life. However, I must confess that
studying Psychology was quite challenging as it makes you to face the things
inside that you were not aware of before, which have been in the unconscious
part since the very early stage of your life.If you are already a
Psychology student... Welcome to an unusual journey to face the reality which
might be a biting experience will last for a lifetime.. And once you step into
the world of Psychology there's no turning back."

G. Nur Bilek

Let's go back to
understand the nature of our defence mechanisms: A good news is normally a
healty person use different defence mechanisms throughout life. It only becomes
pathological when we use them persistently and our physical and/or mental
health is adversely affected.

So, the question
is: WHY do we use a defense mechanism? Well, the answer is very
simple:

a) According to Freudian
approach we all have Id, Ego and, Superego, the parts
that make up a person's personality. Really, I don't wanna use
psychological jargon when speaking to people who may not be familiar with
psychological terms. So, let me make it clear for you. In a nutshell,

The id seeks to fulfill
all needs and impulses, obeys the pleasure principle: "Pleasure is good
and – nothing else matters" while...

The superego tries
to get the ego to act in an idealistic and moral manner.

And suddenly our ego arises
and tries to cope with the conflicting demands of the id and the superego.

Freud's Iceberg Freud explained these concepts by comparing the human mind to a cleverly illustrated iceberg which has three parts.

Are you curious about
how Freud called these concepts in his own language? Here are the original
versions of the id, ego, and the superego.

Es

The id (in German)

Ich

The ego (in German)

Überich -over
I-

The superego (in
German)

Well, let's try to
understand this. Superego is the component of the personality
composed of our internalized behaviours that we have acquired from our parents and society while id represents
our impulses, a selfish, childish, and pleasure-oriented part of the
personality with no ability to delay gratification. Superego is our moral
standards which tries to suppress the urges of the id and tries to make
the ego behave morally, rahter than realistically. The id is without
values, ethics and logic. Can you imagine the possible
conflicts between the id and the superego?

So, what does ego
do? Ego is the rational part that meditates immediate
impulses of the id and the pressure from the superego. It delays immediate
gratification till an appropriate time.

1. Conscious:
The visible part of the iceberg is the conscious part which is small. This is
the part of the mind that hold what you are aware of.

2. Preconscious:
This is the ordinary memory. Though things stored here aren't in the conscious
they can be readily brought in the conscious.

3. Unconscious: Most
of the contents of the unconscious are unacceptable or unpleasant, such as
feelings of pain, anxiety, or conflict. According to Freud, the unconscious
continues to influence our behavior and experience, even though we are
unaware of these underlying influences.

b) Ego is the
moderator between the id and superego which seeks compromises to pacify
both. What happens when the ego cannot cope with the demands of the id and
the superego? According to Freud anxiety, an unpleasant inner state that
people avoid, arises and it acts as a signal for us that things are not
going right!

"εγώ"

The word
"Ego" comes from εγώ in Greek which means "I"

So let's go back to the
example of the two friends above. I want to illustriate if for you! (Why I gave
this example is a very close friend of mine is terribly annoyed by her
colleague's (Mrs X) bahaviors towards her. Mrs X have a tendency to wear whatever
my friend wears, and...

Then your superego
says that you have a value, "jealousy" is a "bad",
immature feeling to be resisted.

Your ego tries to cope
with what the id feels and what the superego thinks. If it cannot...
Projection may happen! And you believe that X friend is jealous of you...

What is PROJECTION? If a
person has uncomfortable thoughts or feelings they may project it onto other
people. In other words, projection is attributing your own unacceptable
impulses to someone else. The impulses are still judged unacceptable but
they belong to someone else, not you :)

Well, think about it
again... Have you ever felt this way? No, you didn't? According to Freaudian
Theory you probably did it many times which you have never been aware of as it
happens in the unconscious part of your mind, somewhere deep, very deep and outside
of your awareness...

* Racism is bad,
right? This is what we are taught and socially unacceptable. If you have racist
ideas while believing racism is socially undesirable you may feel that a friend
is racist, projecting your own racism onto the other person.

* Projection can take a
range of forms. Do you wonder how projection influences our decision making or
purchasing decisions? Or it's better to ask "Did you have any difficulty
when shopping for winter clothing in June?" Well, I think I can hear what
you say :) Yes, always! We have a tendency to assume that our mental state
will will remain consistent in the future, even though we are aware of winter
will come soon!

* Psychological
projection can be very important in interpersonal relationships, especially
before attributing thoughts or ideas to someone else. Maybe it's better to try
to analyze our own thoughts and beliefs before attributing a bad thought to
others. Maybe the thoughts we dislike is seen in ourself.

* Do you have
friends who does not trust anyone in his/her life? (Hope this is not a
very close friend or boyfriend/girlfriend or supouse!) It's highly recommended
to be on the safe side. There's a possibility of s/he does trust
himself/herself and all s/he does it attributing what s/he feels to the other
people around.

* An unfaithful
husband may suspect his wife of infidelity.

* A chronically liar
friend may suspect you of lying him/her.

Before judging people's
thought towards us or the world, I think it's better to seek out more reliable
sources on what someone else thinking. I know that's not easy, sometimes seems
impossible, but studying psychology's taught us to trust in psychology science,
hasn't it?

Well, I know I wanna
talk too much when it's psychology as it seems to me an endless ocean and
there's still an ocean left.

Finally, I'd be very
happy if you share your thoughts, ideas and experiences with me!

"We are effectively
cognitive icebergs with most of our 'thoughts' occurring below the water
line."

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Yes she did! Making me feel so proud of working in the same organization with her. And a question arised... Have you ever thought about the feeling of being proud of colleagues may increase the organizational commitment among employees? Maybe we should study on it? Though I studied on "Organizational commitment in cross-cultural environments" at university, I never mentioned about how a colleague could increase the motivation in a team. Wow!!! I just discovered a new thing! I love when my humble effort to arise my awareness to what is happening in the world or to discover the nature of human being. Ohh, I think I should go back to my academic life again! (Uff, too much talking for an introductory part)

I was at Indigo friday night to see the amazing Flamenco Show of Ángel Muñoz. Though this was not my first flamenco experience (anybody remembers the fantastic show at Sabanci University last year?) I must confess that Ángel has made the only show that hypnotise the audience.

You may ask that how I will associate a fantastic flamenco show with my colleague's success... So, here's the story.

Last week I was in a meeting of the new magazine we will publish and there was so much brain storming (I definitely love it as it does help you to know about your colleagues like nothing else can!). I highly recommend it if you have not tried it yet! I found out that the marketing manager, Tuğba, danced flamenco, and she knew about my high interest to dance during the meeting. And I was with an invitation for Ángel Muñoz's Dance Show in my hand at the end of the meeting. :)

Right after the meeting she told me about what she was working on lately which was impressed me a lot and made me write to share what I heard about. She is the founder of the website www.buradaengellendim.com which you can hear about on TV programs recently. Let me explain some about the precious project. Basicly,

1)You take the photos of the roads, pavements, and all the constructions in public area that make inconvenience to the people with physical disabilities in public area.

I choose this photo as it has reminded me
my childhood in my grandparents' farm

2) Why do we do that? Because, if you take the photos of buildings and places that make inconvenience to the people with disabilities and load to the website (indicating the address on the google map), they will be fixed as soon as possible as the Burada Engellendim" project is continuously followed and officially suported by authorized people at the Metropolitan Municipalities.

3) When the inacurate construction is fixed "This is Fixed" note will be seen on the photo! :) That's it all!

I am aware of the parking problem in Istanbul...
but now I am also aware of the difficulties disabled people face :(

Shall we be sensitive to disables before we have a disabled relative?

Special thanks to dear Tugba for all her efforts in creating www.buradaengellendim.com page and doing her best to announce it! (And I think I should not forget Ángel's super show too!)