Tuesday, March 06, 2007

comfort food

I think I'm eating to make myself feel better. I have been eating like shit lately. I mean, it's all been extremely yummy, but extremely bad for me. I'm eating home made shortbread. Oh yeah, I've been baking too. Last night I made a curry with coconut milk. Coconut milk! And I had the leftovers for lunch! (Well, at least it was light coconut milk?) This weekend I made my Nana's special butter cookies. Happily, most of those made it to the freezer to give to my family, but I still had some.

I did elliptical yesterday, but I still think I'm going to bet getting even fatter with all this comforting. I mean, I've gained 15 lbs in the past year with all this being pregnant and then not pregnant and then not losing the weight and then eating more to comfort myself. But I can't stop myself. I'm an eating machine. I feel like I need these foods. I almost feel like I melt on the inside when I take a bite. There's something about these delicious foods that relax me. I'm trying to not eat too much, but I think I am. And I'm not really motivated to stop. I don't want to stop. I want to eat. I don't want to exercise more. I'm still eating fruits and vegetables.

Yes, I totally understand. Infertility and all its fun really lends itself to comfort food doesn't it? I have the same issues. I wish I knew how to make it better, but I don't. Isn't it sad that some days I hope that when I get pregnant I'll be sick so I can take off a few of those pounds? :)

My Story

4 miscarriages, 3 failed IVFs with PGD, 2 different sperm donors, 1 diagnosis of balanced translocation.
Now we are the proud parents of a boy via domestic infant semi-open adoption.
We had a failed match for kid #2 and are now matched again.