Screw Director's Cuts, Tarantino Is Making 'Miniseries'

Not so long ago, Quentin Tarantino announced that he would retire after making his 10th movie -- which, if we are to give equal credence to several rumors at the same time, will be ahorror R-ratedStar Trek / Kill Billhybrid. But in case the movie addict maybe (definitely) changes his mind, he has the perfect loophole. Tarantino won't make any moremovies;he'll just start making *wink* miniseries.

Last April, Netflix approached Tarantino to turn his western The Hateful Eight into miniseries of four 50-minute episodes. That way the director could include over 25 minutes of cut scenes while still offering the slightly bloated movie up in more easily digestible (and data-beneficial) portions. And it turns out that, surprise, the guy who once released two movies and insisted they're actually one big movie loved dipping his overexposed toes in serialization. According to New York Times writer Kyle Buchanan, Brad Pitt confirmed rumors that QT is now seriously considering giving Once Upon A Time ... In Hollywood the same treatment, since nothing screams recreating the old Hollywood experience like generating content for an online platform.

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And it would've been nice if Pitt had stuck with the positivity, calling the blurring between streaming content and film an "arousing idea." Instead, sadly, the aging actor inadvertently chose to side with other grouchy film behemoths and twist this narrative to blame millennials for killing the traditional moviegoing experience. He goes on to say that with this "younger generation," to "sit down for two hours is a commitment that a lot of people aren't willing to make," adding "I love when you can have that transportive experience, but I may be a dinosaur."

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Which is just silly. In the age of streaming, there's little difference between miniseries you binge and overly long movies, with the five-second episode transitions nothing more than a reminder to go have a pee -- something you're no longer allowed to do in theaters. To then pretend as if not enjoying the act of sitting perfectly still in a sticky seat for three hours plus ads is some sort of proof of weak millennial constitution -- as if old-timey audiences wouldn't have whipped their monocles at the stage if their operas didn't include at least three 20-minute intermezzos for cigar breaks -- does indeed make you sound like a dinosaur.

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