Men, Women Differ On The Value Of Dusting

What Is The Point Of Moving Dirt From One Place To Another?

Its not like dusting is cleaning. Dusting is just relocating dirt from one place to another. Not that I'm opposed to any and all half-baked approaches when it comes to cleaning.

Dust is extremely icky stuff.

Here are some of the things dust is comprised of: human skin, animal fur, decomposing insects, and food debris. Oh, and dust mites, which are these microscopic spiders whose main food source is dead human skin. I mean, do you really want to disturb these folks?

Let sleeping dust bunnies lie, I say.

Women have a completely different view of dusting than men.

Whereas men view a dusty table as a good place to jot down a note (Hi) or leave a smiley face, women tend to view filmy surfaces as a potential affront to their standing as a women, a wife, a mother, and, yes, an American.

I think I speak for most men when I say that when it comes to forming an opinion about a woman, dust, or the lack there of, has in the annals of recorded history never, ever been a consideration.

I suspect the reason women have such an unhealthy hang up about dust has something to do with their mothers.

In the annals of recorded history there has also never, ever been a mother who did not wonder where she failed as a parent after walking into her daughter's home unannounced and discovering a smiley face on the dinning room table.

Another thing I don't get is the pressure for the house to be spotless if people will be visiting.

There are, of course, two kinds of clean-house clean.

This is everyday clean-house clean, which essentially means the house looks like someone is currently living there.

And then there is guest are coming clean-house clean, which essentially means you can see your reflection in the floor.

As you may have gathered, guests are coming this weekend. This has upped the cleaning level to DEFCON 5, meaning it will soon be possible to have surgery or manufacture microchips in any room.

To stay out of the way I have been running as many errands as possible. My latest task is to pick up something called lemon, or lemony Pledge at the supermarket. I assume this will be found in the produce department.