Friday, August 01, 2014

Stoffel Brinkerhoff, The Breaker of Heads

“The Triumph of
Stoffel Brinkerhoff, on His Return from His Conquests in the East” painted by
John Gadsby Chapman in 1835

My father once told me a tale about our relative Stoffel
Brinkerhoff called the Head-Breaker who supposedly instigated a riot against
the Red Coats as they invaded the New York harbor.According to dad, once the fighting began, Stoffel hid away in a
tavern and drank while the fighting raged on.

I lived with this story for years thinking it was true and
then ran across two articles that changed my perception.One was a painting called “The Triumph of
Stoffel Brinkerhoff, on His Return from His Conquests in the East” painted by
John Gadsby Chapman in 1835.The other was an article online about an oyster war fought in New Amsterdam written by
Washington Irving.

This was the true story of Stoffel Brinkerhoff who was
famous throughout the province for strength of arm and skill at quarter-staff,
and hence was named Stoffel Brinkerhoff; or rather, Brinkerhoofd; that is to
say, Stoffel the Head-breaker. Apparently he put
down a group of men who had laid claim to the local oyster beds, thus allowing
everyone to enjoy the delicious seafood once again.

Not quite the story I grew up with but the colorful wording and outrageous names made this a delightful alternative. This snippet tells a part of the triumphant victory as told by Irving.

Here he was encountered by a host of Yankee warriors, headed by Preserved
Fish, and Habakkuk Nutter, and Return Strong, and Zerubbabel Fisk, and
Determined Cock! at the sound of whose names Stoffel Brinkerhoff verily
believed the whole parliament of Praise-God Barebones had been let loose upon
him. He soon found, however, that they were merely the "select men"
of the settlement, armed with no weapon but the tongue, and disposed only to
meet him on the field of argument. Stoffel had but one mode of arguing--that
was with the cudgel; but he used it with such effect that he routed his
antagonists, broke up the settlement, and would have driven the inhabitants
into the sea, if they had not managed to escape across the Sound to the
mainland by the Devil's Stepping-stones, which remain to this day monuments of
this great Dutch victory over the Yankees.
Stoffel Brinkerhoff made great spoil of oysters and clams, coined and
uncoined, and then set out on his return to the Manhattoes. A grand triumph,
after the manner of the ancients, was prepared for him by William the Testy. He
entered New Amsterdam as a conqueror, mounted on a Narraganset pacer. Five
dried codfish on poles, standards taken from the enemy, were borne before him;
and an immense store of oysters and clams, Weathersfield onions, and Yankee
"notions" formed the spolia opima; while several coiners of
oyster-shells were led captive to grace the hero's triumph.
The procession was accompanied by a full band of boys and negroes,
performing on the popular instruments of rattle-bones and clam-shells, while
Anthony Van Corlear sounded his trumpet from the ramparts.
It is moreover said that the governor, calling to mind the practice among
the ancients to honor their victorious generals with public statues,
passed a magnanimous decree, by which every tavern-keeper was permitted
to paint the head of Stoffel Brinkerhoff upon his sign!

I kind of liked my fathers’ version better, but if you feel inclined you can read the rest here: http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Knickerbocker%27s_History_of_New_York/Book_IV/Chapter_VI