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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Confession Tuesday -

Dear Reader,

It's been a long week of house issues that I will not bore you with (I've been boring all my in-life friends with those monotonous details, such a clever conversationalist I am), but it's life in an old house. (My house was built in 1931, then added onto twice. It's very funky with no perfect lines - like myself.)

Sometimes I talk about life A.H. - After house. In this A.H. world, I'm a renter or living in an Airstream trailer (by choice, mind you). There is no hedge to cut, to blackberry bushes trying to take over the world.

I love my house and I think it's wonderful we are working to own this house, but I don't romanticize home ownership as I once did as young women in belief of "the plan" - you know, get a good job, get married, buy a house, have a family, and so on.

Honestly, I confess I've been hooked on this simple living thing lately and maybe I need a few house issues to help me sort out where I'm going. Or maybe I need a yard of concrete. But that's another post and I'm starting to confess already, but what have I been up to besides losing my mind over a clogged sink?

To the confessional--

I confess I had to laugh that I made a point of saying I wouldn't be around as much then had the weather change back to the cold wet endless winter we've been having, so yes, here I am still in the house while the ick weather is doing it thing without my consent.

Still blogging. So hi. Here I am. My name is Kelli, I'm optimistic, but I live in a place of random weather that doesn't carry my optimism.

~

I confess I fell asleep watching Andy Goldsworthy's Rivers and Tides documentary on making art out of natural items. I think it was the sound of the river that did me in. I slept from 7:30 pm until 6:30 am. Who does this?

On a positive note, this year I've been getting more sleep and didn't get sick this whole winter flu season. I think this is the first time that's happened in a while.

~

I confess I don't understand clothing makers who put itchy, scratchy tags in their shirts. I rip them out and have done so without care causing a hole where the tag was. I prefer holes to tags any day though.

~

I confess I visited my 99 year old Nana for Mother's Day and she still remembers who I am (it's been questionable the last couple times I visited.)

There was another woman who was anxiously waiting for her son to come and get her. Time ticking on and he didn't arrive. We were there 45 minutes and he still hadn't arrived. She said he was late.

I wondered in my mind if her son really said he was coming. I even wondered if she had a son. She waited. We visited with my nana and I watched the woman look out the window. No son. She moved closer to the door. My son will be here soon, she kept saying.

I was ready to find her family contact info and call the son myself. *My* stomach was getting into knots waiting for him. Where was this guy?!

Finally, over an hour late, he arrived.

He didn't even come in. She went outside to meet him.

Sometimes it makes me really sad thinking about lives and being too busy for what really matters. I tried to tell myself that maybe the son was stuck in traffic or she had the time wrong or there was a good reason he was over an hour late to pick up his mom.

Honestly, I wanted to tell him off. But he showed up. I wondered if he had any idea how much that meant to his mother. I hope he did.

~

I confess I am working on trying to make sure the people who are important to me, know they are important.

On my residency, I even drew a circle inside a circle inside a circle with the names of my most important relationships, friends and family. It reminded me of Robert De Niro's Meet the Parents "circle of trust" -- Did I not clearly explain the circle of trust to you, Greg?

This is the time residencies allow you, one can draw circles, write names of favorite people.

But it's easy to be overwhelmed in life and forget the things that make a difference vs. the things that do not. On my week away, I really tried to sort out my main priorities/goals vs. the minutiae that I waste my time on.

This might show I think too much, but maybe it's where I am right now.

But where I really am right now, is feeling hungry, so I confess, I think this is where I'll end.

Wishing you goals, dreams, and visions over the minutiae. And wishing you shirts without tags.