Wednesday, March 16, 2011

bam.bam.bam.bam.

i love to sleep on rainy nites. i like the sound and the coziness of it all...snuggled in snoozin' peacefully, all of a suddenthere was a really really loudBAM BAM BAM BAM

i hopped outta my bed shaking.went over to the guys' rooms.flipped on the hall light, wondering if it wouldgo on.

maybe it was a transformer that blew from the rain, i thought.altho....it was awfully loud and awfully close.....

i cracked open noah's door.he was laying there so i thought he was asleep.i stood at the door, with the hall light coming in onhim, trying to decide if i should wake him.he sat up and said something about the noise.

you heard it??? i asked.zakk cracks his door open, pops his head thru thecrack, squints at me in the light and says'i guess i didn't just dream that noise?'

as we're standing in the living room trying to figureout what to do, zakk's cell phone rings.

it's one in the morning. who the heck is calling???he gets there too late. comes back looking puzzled.he didn't recognize the number.

then our home phone rings.

i pick up the phone completely muddled. after myhello a guy's voice says 'terri????'so now my brain has totally clogged.'yeahhhhh??????'

it's my next door neighbor telling me he heard the sound. thought someone got shot over here andcalled the police. said he sat up shaking from thenoise.

i was so glad to know about the police.woulda freaked if he hadn't told me.and more importantly, i was so glad he was on the otherend of the phone.

we exchanged stories, and hung up.

i grabbed my stuffed monkey and held it as i paced aroundthe living room.

the police did arrive. they didn't come in. but they drovearound with spotlights in the rain....i held my monkey and watched from the window.

when there was nothing to do but go back to sleep,i took my monkey with me.

i swear, i held that thing tight.there are times i really miss havin' a man to snuggle nextto....this is one of them.i thought of my neighbor who called. he's snuggling back on in all alone too.nah, i thought. and i grinned.that just doesn't work right.and i held my monkey closer.

this morning when i put the recycling out, i joked thati went looking for dead bodies.

thing is......i did.

well, i glanced around anyway.

it was the weirdest feeling.and i really really didn't want to find one.

i'm still voting it was a transformer that blew.i like that thought.this other one i don't like.

and the story? i thought it was kinda funny and would be funto post. but that's not the real reason i'm posting it.for me, it was the reminder that things change in a flash.that last nite coulda been awful. it coulda been a shooting.it coulda been one of us, it coulda been my neighbor.and then suddenly, life is changed.

that's the real reason for the post.one minute you're asleep. the next you're standing in thehall shaking.

it happens. and i'm so grateful i could wake up just fine this morning.

the challenge of living

“to allow the sorrow and weight of life and yet to dance with an easy and open heart. to ache in your darkest depths and yet to laugh from your light filled center. to know the reality of humanity and yet to believe in the magic of the stars. to act with love in the middle of the fear and to hold each moment as the gift that it is. this is the challenge of living.”

for patrise

'turns out she was beautiful all along -'

slam

“slam the door, i'll open a window. close my window, i'll find a crack in the wall. caulk the opening in the wall - i'll bust thru the bricks - because i'm not a victim anymore”

it was hers

“they took. they invaded. they pushed. they violated. in so many different ways. a lifetime of pushes and takings and making her feel less than valuable. sitting back, she began to see it. how it had gone on and on. and in seeing it, she began to realize - it was up to her now to shout, to whisper, to sing, to move and to believe in her value. no more taking that from her. it was hers. no more giving it away. it was hers. proudly, with strength and with knowing, she held it. she lived it. she became it.”

the whole

“she could never go back and make some of the details pretty. all she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.”

not followers...but FRIENDS...come hang out with me. following each other thru muddles & puddles!

Follow by Email

god's in there

“i want my heart to open and open. 'cause i think god's in there.”

i am

“to lose myself in the dance so much so that love will entangle my bones in its roots, courage will embrace the ashes and wisdom will understand that it's all part of the dance. this is mine for the taking. i pray my hands will grasp it, my heart will open to it, and i will know that i am the dance.”

the fabric of her dancing shoes

Wanting to learn how to dance not only through life, but with life, and understanding that the dancing came from within, Terri began a search inside herself. This book is an account of some of terri's searching and wanderings.

my sons' websites

i matter

“it was when she first dared to see her truth that the winds howled. after a time, it strengthened her and she spoke her truth and the earth shook. and when finally, she believed her truth - the stars rejoiced, the universe opened, and even her bones sang her song: I Matter!”

free facebook cover images!

honor yourself and many more images to pick from!

thanks

“who do i thank for her? the stars? the universe? she herself? none of these thanks seem enough for such a gift as having her in my life.”

if i could

“if i could teach you anything- it would be to hear your heart, and know your beauty and to believe in your possibilities”

more than anything

“more than anything i want to trust a journey that i don't understand~”

hope cards

set of 50 watercolor cards designed to offer a daily dose of hope and inspiration!

living passion

“it is not enough to find your passion... you must dive straight into the fire of your fear~ where you can grab it and hold it until it transforms you.”

Newsletter Sign Up

i am enough

“lifting the cover of shame and self doubt, she dropped it on the ground. stepping into the light she slowly lifted her head. this is who i am. and i am here. and i am enough. the light warmed her face and her heart.”

voices

“the pull was calling again. so strongly it called her. no. she didn't want to answer it... and yet.... she stalled. give it enough time. it will pass. "stall." she told herself. "you can do it." the voices in her head going back and forth, the struggle intense, the moments magnified. and then slowly the call weakened. the spirit strengthened. she stepped forward with relief and pride. she was moving on ~ with an even stronger spirit and a stronger body.”

writer's kit

a gift for the writer's in your life!

allowing it

“it's not about controlling. it's about being present. being open, being aware - and allowing it to come.”

stars inside her journal

journaling with bone sigh arts

she fell

“she fell from their graces into her truth.”

the universe

“and the universe listened”

back to life

“weeping tears of recognition she found herself among the ruins and brought herself back to life.”

a gift

“she was a gift. she understood that now. she lived that now. in offering herself to those who valued her, and leaving the others to themselves, she grew. and the gift deepened...”

a new life

“and a new life arrives. possibility is born. may we wrap your heart in gentleness and give you wings of light as you blossom into you. welcome, little one, welcome.”

the light inside

“when things were hard and when it hurt, she closed her eyes - searching for the light inside. slowly, it brightened enough for her to see it. quietly, she felt it - touched it - held it. and steadily it warmed her and softened her once again.”

it's there

“don't wait for it. know it's there already. don't stop to feel it. move in its flow without thinking. don't test the wind... just lift your wings - and leap!”

embrace my scars

“i will accept the falls. embrace my scars. live my Passion. i will not run.”

from the stars

“she came from the stars. it was her job to remember that, to hold that, and to honor that.”