OUCCC vs Oxenford

at New College, August 10th 2003

The day began with thunder, showers and the threat of a washout, but to the
surprise of many, our arrival at the New College ground was greeted with
blazing sunshine.
Quentin promptly lost the toss (again!), and somehow managed (again!!) to
have the opposition send us in on a belter. Watto, in his last match of the
season, and Quentin saw us off to a steady start, adding 74 for the first
wicket at just under 6 an over. Watto then unveiled his ?mystery? sweep
shot and was fired out plumb LBW for 37 by Isaac ?The Smiling Assassin?
Westwood. Enter Chalky who, having shown a liking for the quick single in a
partnership with yours truly a few weeks ago, proceeded to avoid running as
much as possible on this occasion by scoring 36 out of his 48 runs in
boundaries. Once again he showed an uncanny ability to play absolutely any
ball square on the off side, whether it be a straight one on middle or a
full toss down leg. It?s really only a matter of time before we see ?Fast
Off Theory? introduced to curb this square-cutting run machine. I fully
expect to see 2 extra covers, 3 points, 3 gullies and a slip set for him
before the end of the season. Tragically, he fell to a straight one just 2
shy of his 50, which brought Deb to the crease. Here was a man hungry for
runs, and for recognition of his status as a batsman of worth. Stung by
criticism of his running between wickets after last week?s run-out debacle,
he was seen diligently backing up at the non-striker?s end today. OK, maybe
that?s an exaggeration ? at least he wasn?t leaning on his bat soaking up
rays while his partner was calling him through. After stroking an elegant
13, he hit a full blooded pull shot to mid wicket and was unlucky to be
caught at the third attempt. Entering at 3/197 with 8 overs to go, I
thought I might have had a bit of license, and managed a pretty scratchy
42*, all of which was scored towards cow corner bar a couple of sweeps
which I thought Watto could benefit from watching. While the rest of us
mugs were hoicking away at the other end, there was Quentin, our fearless
leader, quietly accumulating his runs. He managed to get to 50 at a
leisurely pace, then accelerated remarkably in the last 10 overs to chalk
up his second century of the season, ending on 107*. After 40 overs, a
fairly formidable total of 3(dec)-271 was on the board.
After a splendid tea in the pavilion, we took the field with Mike and
Mandur sharing the new ball. Mike bowled tidily and without luck, and
Mandur, unimpressed with the offerings of seam and bounce in the hard
surface, eschewed its use and decided to go the shortest possible route to
the batsmen?s heads by bowling a succession of bean balls. This resulted in
our first ?red card? of the season. I think the rest of the lads could look
to his example of bare-faced aggression in future games. Indeed, is there a
role for the ?hit man? in parks cricket? Bumby certainly took it on board,
when, after picking up his usual wicket-with-the-first-ball-pie, he too was
warned for bowling a doodlebug. To his credit, though, Chris largely
shelved the pies, and bowled well, adding another couple to his bag, and
finishing with 3/14 off 6. This proved to be an excellent comeback,
considering that at one point he was offered a helmet after being blasted
back over his head by a batsman facing his first ball. Matt Benson, that
epitome of fitness and lifestyle choice to which we all aspire, revealed
yet another facet to his remarkable cricketing armamentarium, coming on as
a replacement for the sin-binned Mandur, and bowling 7 tidy overs of off
breaks for 1/19. Watto, having emotionally blackmailed Quentin into giving
him a bowl in his last match of the season, also bowled with good
aggression and control, taking 2/4. Tom and Isaac bowled well in the middle
overs, although Isaac now has the unique distinction of being the only
bowler in the club who has actually managed to overtake one of his own
deliveries prior to its reaching the batsman. Eventually, Oxenford
succumbed for 118, leaving us with a handsome win by 153 runs.
Fines for the day are as follows:
Dropped catches: Westwood 1 50p
Williams 1 50p
Price 1 50p
Deb 1 50p
Fat bastard fine for slow retrieval of boundary hit: Bumby ? 50p
Ducking the ball in the field: Benson ? 50p
Headhunting: Mandur ? 50p
Overtaking his own delivery: Westwood ? 50p
It has been decided that fines will be added up at the end of the season
and paid on the night of the team dinner to go towards drinks and loose
women. (The loose women weren?t my idea, honey. It was Deb. Honest.)
Congratulations on a brief but excellent and most enjoyable season to Watto
- have a great trip and we'll see you when you return. Mandur - don't
listen to any of 'em mate: go the nut every time. If you cut off the head
the body will die.