Monday, June 2, 2008

Have You Lost That Lovin’ Feeling?

Dear Target,

I understand our relationship has been strained lately, what with your refusal to carry not one but TWO of the hair care products I need (Sunsilk’s Anti Flat and Herbal Essence’s Break’s Over), not to mention your over-indulgence in ugly smocked tops this spring, but are you TRYING to make me dump you? Is this your passive-aggressive way of forcing me to shop at Walmart? Are you that spineless?Case in point, your latest GO International line by Rogan. Which looks exactly like the Jovovich-Hawk line, but with more animal prints and less ruffles/lace/ruffles-made-from-lace. I give you Exhibit A:Who, exactly, is this line designed for? Anorexic teens? Or models (I know, same thing)? Clearly it is not designed for your average Target shopper, who is larger than a size 0 and would like NOT to have her butt hanging out of her giraffe (hello, GIRAFFE?) print skirtThank you for another line of clothes designed to make me and every woman over the age of 17 feel fat. Thank God for Isaac and his luscious garb, or I would drop you like a Bad Habit. Like smoking. Or drinking. Or buying John Mayer CDs.

Sincerely,The Cheap Chick

However, in the midst of my despair, I have found happiness, and its name is The Lucky Outlet Brand Store at the Albertville Mall.

I worship Lucky Brand jeans, as they make my booty look non-existent and flatten out my saddlebags. But their prices making this Cheap Chick swoon – and not in a good, Gerard-Butler-just-kissed-me way, either. But in a, “holy crap, these cost $125?” way. Note the difference.Then I found their outlet store, and it was like a religious awakening. Or rather, frugal awakening, which is akin to a religion with me. It makes God happy when we save our pennies, you know.The jeans below, in my favorite fabric and color, were only $29.99 at the outlet. Normally, they would have run about $85-$125 a pair.

Aren’t they cute???? Of course, I didn’t buy them – they cost $9.99 more than my year-long cap of $20. So, my Ma bought them for me. As a present. Because she loves me. No, it’s not cheating. Quit being all judgy and start focusing on the amazing deals you can find at the Lucky Brand Outlet. Sheesh.

If, unfortunately, you live nowhere near the Albertville Outlet Mall in MN, do not fret. There are outlet malls spanning the United States, and more than one of them holds a Lucky Brand.

That makes me think of Reader Question, and you know how I love group participation. What is your favorite outlet store?

The two Rogan for Target swimwear offerings they had in my store were just plain bizarre...an electric blue leopard print monokini? A fishnet/nylon mesh swimsuit? All that was missing was a pole and clear heels.

I love the Hanna and the new Gymboree stores. This is really only helpful for me now in terms of shopping for the cute baby in my family who lives in GUAM meaning I cannot buy him cute sweaters with puppies on them. Such is my burden.

For me? I try to avoid Charlotte Russe because I am not a slutty teen, nor am I a Pop Starlet (I wear underwear on a regular basis). I prefer the Lane Bryant outlet (hooray cami's!) and the COACH STORE. It is nice to just go and fondle some expensive leather. And not in a sick way.

As for Target, I prefer fabric that covers my WHOLE ASS and not just a part of it. Well, when I'm in public, anyway.

I got the sweetest deal at the Bass store at the Medford Outlet Mall. I needed a rolling laptop bag for a trip and couldn't find one I liked for less than about 75 bucks. So a fotuitous stop at Medford on the way home from an Iowa trip yielded a swell rolling laptop bag at the Bass store. Originally $79, then clearnaced 40%off and then an extra 15% off for the weekend = $40 bucks!!! That is the bomb! and it matches my suitcase. Wahoo! outlets!

Hmmm, I don't have a favorite outlet store, although if I found a Pottery Barn outlet store, it would be my favorite.

At the risk of having bottles and shoes thrown at me, I have to admit that I adore the Giraffe print skirt from Rogan. I wouldn't buy it simply because I have no wear to wear it (to slutty for weddings and work).

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