Cultural Power Rankings: Tons going on so the rankings are completely random this week ... like every week

I'm back. Which means this feature is going to get completely annihilated. I would apologize for the randomness but I don't think anybody is reading anyway, so this is my personal outlet to throw everything going on in my life on the internet. Consider this my personal Match.com where I'm trying to appear intelligent and interesting in hopes of meeting my life partner. It's desperate but it just might work.

20) NBA Eastern Conference All-Stars (NR): I'm sure I've linked to this before but I just can't resist. I hope Dwight Howard teaches me how to dance: I wish I had rhythm.

19) The Wire Season 4 (NR): Felt very much like a transitional year where the writers were establishing Marlo's stronghold on Baltimore and inevitable beef with Prop Joe, Carcetti's fiscal disaster and I'm expecting the return of self-destructive Jimmy McNulty. This may sound depressing but I relate most to McNulty - randomly getting drunk, go home alone, sleeping on the floor - yup, McNulty. That's me.
18) Denver Nuggets (14): Umm ... this team is third in the Western Conference and is starting to look really scary. Both Nene and K-Mart are averaging more than a block and a steal a game each. Heck Chris "Birdman" Anderson leads the team with 2.1 blocks a game in just 18 minutes. Call me crazy, but I'm starting to think they're a legitimate threat to make the finals. This postseason might be Melo's coming out party. Don't forget Sonny Weems:

17) New York Yankees (NR): This whole A-Rod thing is a mess - a mess that is going to follow them around all year. I'm indifferent to the whole thing. Roids, no roids, it doesn't really matter to me. Do whatever you want.
16) Team Home (NR): This week's power rankings are coming to you from Canada as I've taken an extended weekend off to visit the family. Being home for many days and showering in all kinds homemade Indian delicacies, central heat and an endless supply of heavily boiled tea, I find it hard to believe that I ever moved out. Of course there was that classic moment where mom wanted to wash my "filthy jacket" and she found my cigarettes in my breast pocket, followed by a mini-rant of how I'm a constant disappointment, but even that was full of love. And my jacket is clean so it's worth it. If I disappear in the coming weeks, just understand that I moved back home. We all need to move back home.
15) Memphis Grizzilies (NR):For helping deliver shoes via Samaritan's Feet shoe drive.

11) Jin and Sun (NR): Jin still being alive in the past on the island was one of the more predictable twists on Lost recently. But more importantly, does this mean Alex is still alive? Not that I have any chance with her, but I can't really decide if I'm attracted to Alex or not. RoidRage3 is in love with Alex but I waver between "yes, we can be friends" to "maybe we can grab a coffee sometime" and then "will the back seat of my car do?" I mean, I have no chance with her either way but here, you be the judge:

10) San Antonio Spurs (4): Is Roger Mason Jr. the best offseason free agent signing? I think so. His dagger against the Boston Celtics was as clutch as it gets. He needs a nick name. How about dreads-a-licious?

9) NBA Western Conference All-Stars (NR): Sometimes in public I pretend like the Shaq-Kobe-Phil Jackson feud is lame. Pretend like it's a girlish soap opera that I can't be bothered with. But secretly I go home every night and study my Kobe-Shaq notes from the 2004 season. They look something like this: Game 43, 4:43 left in the fourth quarter, Shaq calls for ball in the post, Kobe instead pulls up for a jumper, do they hate each other?
8) Team Dr. Jack Shepherd (NR): My favorite Lost moment of all-time happened last week when Dr. Jack, while wearing a suit, ran out in the rain telling Kate: "Let me fix it ... I'll fix it." Jesus on the throne, let the man fix things.

7) Sports Illustrated (NR): For breaking the A-Rod story and being relevant again ... at least for a few days. I always wanted to write for the back page but unfortunately I'm not 200 pounds overweight and don't have enough gray hair to get that job.

1) Team Birthday (NR): For those of you who don't know, it's Patty Hayes' birthday today and we gonna get crunk like the dirty dirty. Hopefully we can get some pictures and videos to you later on in the week.