Cops Make an Example of Brooklyn Icicle

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See this icicle? It thought it was pretty badass. It started out small, like all icicles do, but through a combination of weather and a steady drip-drip-drip of water and who knows what other kinds of terrible influences it grew into a big lunk of ice, hanging around outside the local taco place in the freezing cold, no jacket, looking so hard and sharp and dangerous people who were just trying to go see The King’s Speech at the Cobble Hill Theater would cross the street to avoid it, because goddamn if that icicle didn’t look like it might have a dark side, a wild side, like you wouldn’t want to get too close because it might just suddenly go crazy and drop on you and KILL you, like, WHAM, I just iced your brain, bro! And it probably would have someday too. Fortunately it never got a chance. You know why? Because a couple of New York’s finest went over there and showed that icicle who was boss. It took like seven of them to do it, not including the ones whose job it was to rope off the sidewalk, but when that shovel came out you bet that icicle went down like a littlebitch.

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Hahaha INYOURFACE icicle. Trying to act all tough, everyone knows you’re just frozen water, posturing. The question is: Will this display of brute force from the NYPD be enough to stop other icicles from forming and threatening the populace of brownstone Brooklyn? Who knows. But trust, that icicle won’t be bothering anyone again. Notever.