Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Momentum

So I was in Target yesterday and a little boy told his mom, "that lady is pregnant." Now let me tell you, if I had heard that a few years ago, when I could not get pregnant and was overweight, I would have been devastated. If I had heard that a month ago, I would have been depressed. This time, I just walked it off. I know that I have momentum, and I will take care of business with my weight.

My first big test of my focus was last night. I hosted a baby shower complete with my favorite foods. We had mini cupcakes, pulled pork sandwiches, meatballs, caramel dip (I made that one)with apples, fruit salad and much more. I had a ball at the party and at no sugar. I did not even miss it because the fruit is now sweet enough for me. I planned ahead to be fullish before the party started. Before, I would have had a pulled pork sandwich, a ton of caramel dip, a ton of the cupcakes. Because they are small, I would have justified that four, equalled one regular cupcake. I probably would have eaten eight and snagged a few when people were not looking. My focus would have been on the food, in almost a panic, about not getting enough of my favorites. I would have saved the left over caramel dip and eaten it while spralled on the couch, watching late night stupid T.V.

Because I am getting the sugar out of my system, it was not difficult to choose some fruit, and a few corn chips. I was okay. I did not die because I "missed out." I was much more present and really enjoyed my friends. I am almost at the 10lb weight loss. My clothes are starting to fit better and now I am going to start saying goodbye to scale benchmarks. I have momentum because I believe in myself. Before, I never would have believed that I would but the bowl and beater in the sink so fast if made my head spin! I put dish soap all over the caramelly delight. It was gone so fast that I had no time to think about eating it. All of these little choices come together to give me a cushion of calm, unlike the "calm" I thought sugar provided. What strenghthens your momentum?

About Me

My name is Joy and I am a 42 year old with a child who is a dream come true (more on that story later) and a career that is my calling in life. I have incredible friends and am in good place in my life...except for one thing-my weight. I have been on every diet from Scarsdale, meal replacing (and gall bladder replacing) shakes, Jenny Craig and everything else under the sun. I think ultimately, Weight Watchers will be my best bet to tackle this challenge, but I am clearly not ready-yet because I still think I can eat sugar when ever I want. Sugar took so much from my life, including my fertility with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I have to get out of denial and make a change for good!