Klaus Geiger as an Explorer

I would like to tell you about my father's life as an explorer and discoverer. Born in Berlin, and as his father was the renowned scientist Prof Dr Hans Geiger, as a youngster he moved several times, living in Tübingen, Kiel, and Potsdam, a suburb of Berlin. It was there he graduated from Hermann von Helmholtz Gymnasium, as upper schools are known in Germany. He often talked to me about his love for learning and exploring Latin and Greek as well as the sciences.

Like all young men who were healthy he was drawn into the Second World War and explored Northern Africa, Sicily and Italy. All his life he had a love for Italy and the Italian language. He later took night school Italian lessons and went back to rediscover Italy several times.

Towards the end of the war he met his wife to be Charlotte and although he seldom talked about it, they surely explored the joys of romance. In 1946/47 they moved to France where he studied science at the University of Paris and they married there in July1947, far from family. Then it was back to Germany exploring science and radioactivity, receiving his Doctorate in sciences in 1951 from the Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz. Bernie was born during that time and Klaus began exploring the joys of family life.

In 1952 came the adventure of a lifetime when the three of us journeyed on the Cunard ship Scythia, sailed to Montreal and arrived by train to Ottawa where he had been invited to explore the phenomenon of cosmic rays at the National Research Council as a post-doctorate fellow. What an exciting time that must have been. The opportunity to discover a new city, the Gatineau's and to go camping in northern New York State, Ontario and Quebec.

A few years later we moved to Manor Park where we had many friends like Dr. Neil and Barbra Steenberg and I had playmates like Patty. Expanding our family, my brother Thomas came along and in 1957 we explored the new Campeau suburb of Elmvale Acres on Chapman Blvd, with its mud, clay, ditches and gravel sidewalks. Gardening, fencing, the back patio and finishing the basement recreation room were significant accomplishments!

Klaus loved the trails and vistas of Ottawa and Gatineau Park and explored them by hiking and skiing, as well as the parkways. Favourites were the Rideau Canal and locks, Lac Philippe, Camp Fortune, the picnic grounds, lookouts and of course the ruins of Mackenzie King Estate in the fall leaves. Every Spring meant a trip to explore the daffodils of Rockliffe Park. The next decade we explored the West with several car camping trips to Alberta, Yellowstone park, BC and even California. At Easter we either visited friends in New Jersey and explored New York City or drive to Florida on whirlwind trips! In the 60’s we rented cottages in Deep River and Mte Ste Marie and explored the lakes and nature there. In 1969 we purchased our beloved cottage lot on Otty Lake and Klaus studied the vagaries of plumbing and electrical work and installed those utilities into our brand new cottage, while exploring the surrounding nature, Lanark County and Perth.

The late 70's brought more exploration with grandchildren, trips all over Europe and North America, plus a sabbatical year back in Germany. Retirement from a long and successful career at the NRC did not stop Klaus and Charlotte and they continued to explore with ocean cruises in Hawaii and travel elsewhere in the world. They often took their three grandchildren Alia, Mike and Stef off to the Bonnechere Caves, Upper Canada Village, Renfrew's Storyland, and the cottage in spring and summer. The Smiths Falls Railway Museum was a favourite, even if it once ended in a few stitches for Stefan at the nearby hospital.

Sadly Charlotte passed away suddenly at the cottage in 1999 and Klaus was left as a bachelor after more than 50 years of marriage. That meant strengthening friendships with relatives in Germany and old Potsdam classmates. He undertook many adventures including making acquaintance with his great-granddaughter Samara who is here today.

Even in declining health Klaus loved to explore, whether the tulip beds of Dows Lake, the quiet streets behind Carlingview Manor, or more recently, we toured Mooney's Bay Park across from St. Patrick’s Home on Riverside.

So today we are gathered together to remember Klaus's many adventures even as he has embarked on one more.

Based on a dedication written by Bernie Geiger for the Memorial Service in Ottawa.

I may not have voted for you, but you stood for what you believed in and tried to help people in this country. You fought more than one brave fight and you deserve our respect. Ironic, cliché or just silly, here's my little tribute.

Through a well-timed stroke of luck, I managed to book an appointment with Dr. L in a matter of weeks rather than months. While he is a plastic surgeon who has a successful cosmetic practice, he's also a very well regarded/trained/experienced hand-surgeon.

He sat me down in his office, discussed the symptoms, and then we pored over my X-Ray & MRI films on my laptop. Well, he did; I just helped him navigate the software & images. After a few quiet minutes of flipping between various images, he says, "Do you see that?"
"No."
"That there."
"Okay, it's a triangular shape?" (Please stop poking my LCD with your pen!)
"Yes, that's where the bone has been avulsed by the ligament."
"What does that mean?"
"It ripped the corner off your lunate bone."

Welcome to the land of avulsion fracture. Somehow this was missed by both the X-Ray and MRI radiologists... and everyone else playing along. Dr. L is fairly convinced of this finding though because it could be seen in both the X-Rays and MRI, and the finding supported by a lot of fluid in the joint and many of the symptoms.

Apparently ligaments can be stronger than the bone, and despite my ligament problems (they're loose, they stretch and heal/grow very slowly) it doesn't mean they're not strong enough to tear a bone to bits. Who knew?

He goes on to perform a Watson's test, which I think Dr. T did the very first time she saw me... and he says I've completely failed it. (Despite not showing significant Terry-Thomas Sign) What does this mean?

"Your scapholunate ligament is torn, and it broke your lunate when it happened. So this is what needs to happen: your wrist needs to be scoped. We need to see what's going on inside of there and figure out what needs to happen next. This MRI reading is deficient and I'm going to get someone else to review it, since we have no idea what specialty the person who read this was, that needs to be rectified.
Unfortunately, I don't have the equipment to perform the scope, and while I have performed surgeries like this, there are other people who do this much more than me and have even more experience with this type of situation."

"So you're not comfortable to do this... I can understand that."

"Right, now, in 5-10 years if you develop arthritis from this, then you can come see me and I can help you with that. But for this I think you need to see Dr. v S, he practices in Toronto, but unfortunately has a one-year wait-list."

∗gulp∗

"Now, they might not even want to go in... or when they scope it, they might repair it right then... but understand these are complex and risky surgeries, and that you may have to face that they can do nothing for this..."

"... so what am I supposed to do?"

"Well you seem like an intellectual guy who's quite interested in this, so you should go research on the Internet, on PubMed, and look at what's involved here... get yourself informed so you can make the right decisions."

"And in the meantime? What can I do with my hand on daily basis?"

"The splint isn't protecting you from any more damage, and they're just going to make you get weaker... but I suspect you find you can't go for very long without it on, is that correct?"

"Quite."

"Right, so, go ahead and start using your hands for light tasks, you'll know your limits. Don't go building a house or anything like that."

"Yeah, though I tend to find out hours or days after the fact that I shouldn't have done something. Can I start playing guitar again?"

"You can try, but you probably won't be able to for very long." (Most textbooks state that casting/bracing is of limited value in Scaphoid/lunate/ligament injuries because the patient is self-limited by pain-feedback anyway.)

And that was it. He's ordering a re-read on the MRI films, referring me to the doctor in Toronto, and I get to wait a year for that consult.

Oh, and doing research on avulsion fractures and scapholunate repairs... I came across this summary in a study of 5 patients treated at one hospital:

"None of our patients enjoyed good pain relief with prolonged immobilization (three patients) or surgical debridement (two patients). All patients suffered persistent pain, and three suffered persistent instability after treatment. Further research is needed...."

So, this isn't really happy news at all, but I didn't expect anything else going into that consult... I'd hoped that he might order some more tests or imagery and then book for surgery, but clearly that's not going to happen any time soon. Very depressing.

But that's not the worst of it. I was already very depressed and down before that bombshell was delivered.

... Because a month ago, I lost someone very important to me; No, she didn't die (although that might've been easier to cope with), but Katheryne, the most wonderful person who'd ever come into my life, ended our relationship, our friendship... and the rest of a wonderful life I'd thought we could've shared.

Why? I don't know.

And she can't tell me.

In what tiny fragments of communication we've had... all she's said was "It just didn't work out. It was nobody's fault."

I guess that's a reason, one you could probably just leave standing with no other dialog ... if you were in the very early stages of a relationship.
We may have only been 'official' for ~8 months, but I sure didn't think that "us" was a new thing anymore.
But it's very clear, that whatever I feel, doesn't matter. (duh, she broke up with you.)

The problem is, I still feel. A lot.

I've been through breakups before, I've been rejected, and I've done some stupid things - and gotten the punishment I deserved. But I didn't see this coming. And I'm not okay. It's been 6 weeks, and not an hour goes by that I'm reminded of what's been lost. And the unending stream of emotions is unbearable. Guilt, loss, love, rejection, longing... the assault of realizing happy memories just aren't happy anymore... The dreams are the worst. Or maybe the self-doubt.

So here I am, struggling to find paying work that I can do with one hand... restructure my psyche to function without my (former) number one fan... cope with pain both physical and mental... and try to convince myself that I am not a horrible person who's going to be left alone for the rest of my one-handed life.

Now, there's a whole lot more to this story, most of which I don't want to talk about anymore. But I've been left scarred by this, wondering how I might ever handle a similar situation in the future; when the person you care about the most seems to be in trouble... and when you try to help them, they cut you out... leaving you to later realize that you might been the problem... well...
Was it that I cared too much? Or am I blind to what I did? I had so much to give...

Then again, from what I've heard, she's doing fine now. So I guess I'm just weak. Why else would I break apart so easily?