In honor of today being Super Tuesday—the moment very few of us have been waiting for—here is a particularly ridiculous Rick Santorum quote. Yesterday at a campaign event, Rick said he was sick and tired of President Obama blaming gas prices on previous administrations. Santorum's solution to this kind of nincompoopery? He pledged to never to so much as speak the name of a previous president once he's elected:

I will never mention a former president's name when I am in office. Man up, take responsibility and quit blaming everybody else.

Brilliant, Rickles! That ought to solve all of our problems. It's true that it will be a major challenge for you to govern this country without ever uttering the word Washington—which you might remember refers to our very first president, George Washington. But we have every confidence that you can do it if you just man up and take responsibility.