Friday, May 1, 2009

Honestly?

So I've been having honesty issues with the S/O and I did a Google search to see if anyone else had similar problems and guess what? No. They don't.

Instead, I found a lot of fat (or supposedly fat) girls saying their boyfriends told them to lose weight and they were glad he was "honest." Fuck. That.

"Honestly, you're a jag-toothed ogre-like woman.""Wow, thanks for being so open and honest with me!"

Of course we had the guys replying that "skinny rail-thin model types" are ugly (ahem, that would be types like me) and that they prefer "healthy" women. Fuck. That.

We have to admit America has weight issues. So let's say you look at yourself and feel like you're too fat. If you want to exercise, if it makes you feel good, I can't knock that. My suite mate has lost a lot of weight this year and she's worked hard to do that. I really admire her dedication and how it's positively impacted her-- and no, she doesn't have a boyfriend. More power to her.But if you're losing weight because you feel so bad about the way you are, if you feel guilty after every meal, if you hate your body. That's not good.

In other words do it because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself.

Now onto the guys who use that stupid "healthy" euphemism. If I were 60 lbs heavier and it were all fat that would not be healthy. The point is that if you go around saying that being fat is better than being skinny then it still puts the emphasis on men determining my and my fellow ladies' worth based off our weight (or looks) and how healthy is that? It says that the only thing we're good for, the only worth-while pursuit we can have is to look pretty. Wrong message to send to a girl who just got told that in order to look pretty for her boyfriend she needs to hit the treadmill.

For a long time I tried to gain weight so my "rail thin" ass wouldn't be so bony and my friends would stop calling me anorexic. Guess how healthy that was.

As for the boyfriends who "honestly" tell their girlfriends what lardos they are, um. Seriously? Do we even need to address why you don't say that the one thing that makes you unhappy is that your girlfriend's fat? I mean REALLY!?

If you're into skinny girls, fine. Everyone has a right to be attracted to whoever they're attracted to. But you willingly dated this chick so don't try to pretend like you aren't attracted to your hot, 170 lb 5"2 girlfriend, this is what she looks like, just like I can't mold my white boyfriend into some kind of Antonio Banderas, your girlfriend shouldn't have to find out what you're attracted to and change to fit that. You should pursue what interests you without trampling someone else's self image in the process. It's just cruel to bring down a girl's self esteem like that. You already told her you're attracted to her by being in a relationship with her. Oh and when she starts acting insecure or paranoid you can thank all that honesty.