Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Holiday Post #12: Vote Now for the Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year

We @ Visions of Ypsi are proud to present the 4th Annual Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year Contest. Before you vote, however, be sure to read the rules:1) The nominations have been considered and narrowed down to ten (10) contestants.2) Each reader of Visions of Ypsi is allowed one (1) vote.3) Votes are to be posted in the comments section of this post.4) Giving people shit based on who they voted for is not only accepted, but encouraged.5) All votes posted by 12:00 AM on New Years Eve will be counted.6) Voting is closed @ 12:01 AM New Years Day.7) Late nominations will be considered, but discouraged.8) Those nominated but not included on this official ballot are not eligible for late nominations.9) If a voter wishes to change his or her vote, she or he must petition the writers of Visions of Ypsi.10) Anonymously posted votes will only be accepted if the writers of Visions of Ypsi are told who the person is who is voting anonymously. In other words, the post can be anonymous and I will protect his or her anonymity, but I want to know who is voting.11) We @ Visions of Ypsi will only cast a vote to break a tie if said vote is necessary.12) Ineligible Nominees: Ali Landry... gave birth in July which means she was eligible in 2006; Bridget Moynahan... announced her pregnancy in February, explaining that she was 3 months pregnant which disqualifies her for the same reason as Ali Landry.

Previous winners include such luminaries as Michelle Willaims & Maggie Gyllenhaal & the anticipation to see who will be crowned this year's winner has been building for months. And now... Your 2007 Visions of Ypsi Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year Nominees:

Christina Aguilera: This 27 year old pop-singer was knocked up by her husband, music marketing executive Jordan Bratman. She is known for her vocal ability & her fantastic titsJessica Alba: This Invisible Woman was knocked up by her boyfriend, Cash Warren, who was mistakenly referred to as an actor on here last week. That's almost as bad as referring to Jessica Alba as an actress.Halle Berry: The 41 year old Bond-Girl was impregnated by her long-time companion, French-Canadian supermodel Gabriel Aubry. Here's to hoping her parenting skills are better than her acting in Die Another Day.Helena Bonham Carter: Our weirdest nominee in now w/ child for the 3rd time thanks to her weird husband, Tim Burton. Apparently, they live in opposite wings of a house connected by a long hallway.Elizabeth Hasselbeck: Former Survivor contestant & current co-host of the view, she is known for her wacky conservative views and her opposition to Darwinian science.Angelina Jolie: W/ her 2nd nomination in this category, Bradjelina is preparing for her 5th child... the 2nd whom she is birthing. If y'all remember correctly, there was a little controversy w/ her previous nomination because some readers felt that adoption shouldn't have made people eligible for this award. Well, this time she actually has a bun in the oven so no one can complain.Nancy Kerrigan: This horse-face, who had a small role in Blades of Glory, got herself knocked up this year & recently gave birth... I guess it's an improvement from what she got knocked last time she was in the news. It's not clear if she carried the child in her uterus or somewhere in her huge gums. No pregnant pics could be found, but that's probably just as well.Jennifer Lopez: Jenny from the Block is pregnant w/ the child of her husband, Marc Anthony. Coincidentally, while she is honored to be nominated for this award, she is also the 2007 Visions of Ypsi Beard of the Year. J. Lo. is raking in the awards hand over fist.Drea de Matteo: This Soprano is currently dating Waylon Jennings' son, Shooter Jennings, who has knocked her up. Of course, she knows people who can give you a world of trouble if you don't vote for her.Jennifer Weiner: This "Chick Lit" writer is friends w/ Toni Morrison & Joyce Carol Oates & is certainly just happy to be nominated. It's not clear if she's pregnant in this pic or not, but we'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

Even though I nominated Halle Berry for MILF of the year...I'm voting for Christina Aguliera.

Angelina shouldn't be a nominee...it's already a known fact that she is a MILF, she has like 10 kids already and has been nominated in the past so, I don't think she should be allowed on the list anymore!

It's a tossup between Helena Bonham Carter and Drea de Matteo for me. They seem the least slickest of the bunch, and I don't go for slick. I like the hallway connected houses thing, I think that is brilliant but I'm voting for Drea. She's having Waylon's grandkid, how hot is that, plus I like those boots she's wearing.

While Angelina is doing Biscodo and Stacey is stealing Drea's boots (can you really pick a MILF based on shoe choice? How about boyfriend choice... Shooter is an idiot!), send Carter over to my house. The woman is freaky fun, classy, scruffy, and twisted. I want to play with her hair! And the idea of adjoining houses is brilliant.

BTW, she had the kid (a girl) on Saturday... Indiana Rose. Big brother is Billy Ray Burton. Hmmm... okay, so they are name challenged, but she is still the hottest by far.

Sure, boots can put someone over the top. Can you see a MILF in Keds? Shooter's an idiot? I didn't know that. I just liked him in I Walk the Line. Well, I'm glad to see the votes racking up for Helena anyway. Except the whole thing with Planet of the Apes, yuck, I like her and her boyfriend choice.

Yeah, Planet of the Apes sucked. I would have to say that if I were voting, I'd go for the least "slick" as well, but that picture of Halle Berry is pretty fucking hot.

As for anonymous votes, we must remember that there are people out there who don't want to be associated on-line w/ this sort of classy blog, but at the same time, in keeping w/ my Rosa Parks ways, I want to ensure that has his or her suffragium impeded.

Who are you people and what have you done with my real friends? That pic of Halle is hot????? Wha????? That is a bizarre dress. I actually thought I might have to struggle with my choice until I saw that pic!!! Nope.

Hey now Jean! Watch with the hippie comments! Do hippies like Old Spice? No! it's patchouli they're after. Now, if you notice Drea's footwear which is all I care about, she is not wearing Birkenstocks. That would have eliminated her vote. It is kind of a hippie dress but she's mixing it up a little.

It's better than Halle Barry's Pacific Ocean current dress. We can't see her shoe choice, perhaps that would have redeemed her. She's probably wearing Keds, though.

Just to back Jason up here, I never heard of the beard thing either. Then again, I just divorced that guy in San Francisco so what can I say.