I dreamt last night that I was in a church at a vigil or funeral service. I had a large number of shopping bags, one of which broke and spilled everywhere. So, I was on the floor in between two wooden pews trying to pick up spilled makeup when Paul McCartney (who was apparently a cantor or something) came over to lecture me because I was paying attention to the stuff I'd bought rather than the funeral service.

Apparently my subconscious doesn't approve of my shopping spree at Target Saturday in the context of this thing, and is pulling out the big guns to tell me so. (I was a huge Beatles fan as a teen, and I haven't worried about physical danger because of international affairs in an active way since then.)

I don't know what to say about any of today's events. As far as I know, no one I know was hurt at the Pentagon or in New York today. I spent the day glued to the television and 'net because I'd been sent home from work (which is one block from the federal building in San Francisco).

I'm frightened and angry about the attacks, and I'm very afraid that they won't end here.

I'm also frightened by the immediate assumption of some people that this attack was planned and executed by Arabs. Someone on a list I read had an immediate viseral reaction that "some rag heads" should die over this attack. He apologised and retracted the statement when we called him on it, but I couldn't really accept his apology because I was so upset that that had been his gut reaction. It was clear that he knew who he was supposed to hate before he had any proof about the perpetrators. That sickens me.

During the Gulf War, I remember stories that Arab immigrants in this country had been harassed and attacked by Americans, and that even Italian Americans who were mistaken for Arabs had been beaten up. I hope that I don't hear about similar attacks now. I believe firmly that we should live up to our rhetoric and welcome immigrants from all over the world to become Americans. Lets not make this any more horrible and ugly.posted 9/11/2001 08:55:03 PM

Monday, September 10, 2001

and the article makes it incredibly difficult to write chirpy letters to potential wedding caterers.

This article, about NikkiColma Spriggs, a severely disabled child who was abandoned for 6 years in a nursing facility in Delaware, and died because her respiratory system failed after she didn't receive critical surgery for scoliosis, makes me want to stand on the street and scream and scream.

Actually, some child in the courtyard behind my apartment IS screaming. I'm off today (because I worked on Sunday), and I'm trying to ignore what is becoming a really bad headache.posted 9/10/2001 04:07:16 PM