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Sunday, 17 June 2018

Becoming A Father For The First Time #DadsUnplugged

'Giving birth completes a woman' - that's a long-lived belief in society, especially in the Indian society. Yes, motherhood adds a new meaning to the life of a woman, but actually there is lesser conversation around the man who is equally involved. When I heard these gentlemen opening up and getting candid with their experiences of being a father in #dadsunplugged film by Himalaya Baby Care, it simply triggered me to document my journey how I felt when this moment came to my life.

This series beautifully captures fathers expressing their emotion of joy, fear, apprehensions, and confusion that they encountered in the process to create a new identity while exploring the world of fatherhood. I'm sure most fathers would relate to the anecdotes of these dads like I did...

The news of my wife expecting a baby gave me a sense of fulfilment as a man. My chest was swollen with pride. After a few days, the panic popped up that I'll be now be responsible for another human being forever. For the next few days, it was a weird mix of feelings that left me emotionally drained and I couldn't dare to share with my wife what sort of state my mind was in. I would daydream to be ready for rushing to the hospital at a moment’s notice and people congratulating me on being a father. The entire concept of fatherhood seemed utterly alien to which I was unable to comprehend.

It took me really good time for sufficient mental preparation, but those anxiety pangs somehow switched to more of responsible moves one fine day, when looking at my wife I realised it is her first time too and she needs a stronger, supportive and more patient version of her husband now. Needless to say, the idealistic vision of the moment was a game changer and I started counting back to figure out when would I hold the tiny bundle of joy in my arms.

The birth of my child was terrifying but miraculous. The condition, in which my wife was rushed to emergency much earlier than the EDD, left me panicking that she won't survive this life-threatening phase. For a moment, I even regretted our decision of planning a baby. After a five hours long C-section, the skin and bone being was presented to me in a human form. The dull screams of my son announced its arrival to our world.

Today on the occasion of #FathersDay, I look back on that day thankful and would just say "Dear son! I confess I didn't come programmed with great parenting skills, but your love has made me learn at every step along the way. Life now feels enriched with you around and all my worries melt away when I see you smile. No hurdle seems too difficult for a reward so big that is 'You'."

62 comments:

What a brilliant post for father's day. It's interesting the way that being a father changed you. Apparently a man's hormones change not long after he carries his child in his arms. It's something that scientists have measured. Then long after their children have grown and they become grandparents, as soon as they hold their grandchildren the hormonal change happens in them again, but this time it's an instant change, snapping them straight back in time to when they were looking after their own children. Amazing.

How wonderful that you posted from your true thoughts, fears and realizations. Having a child can wake up those sleeping anxiety monsters, although, logic thought and the feelings that come about when you first hold your child in your arms send that anxiety packing.

This article is the most heart-warming one I have read in quite sometime. Yes we seldom care or think of the man who is equally responsible for our growing up as our moms. An article from their perspective is quite rare and worthy of reading and sharing.

Oh thank you for sharing with us your story of fatherhood, it was absolutely amazing and raw. I can only image the feelings, emotions and joy that comes with being a father, especially for the first time.

Such a sweet and heart warming story. I think the emotions of a father to be are extremely under rated in our society as the entire focus is on the mother to be and the expected baby. Enjoyed reading this experience.

Such an interesting post! I don’t think society ever thinks about a mans feeling as much as the women’s feeling during pregnancy/fatherhood because the women is the one that carries and is usually the nurturer. However, the man does go through emotional feelings because it’s a life changing experience for him as well! Such a good post about the mans perspective!