DJ Bolli Presents The 2016 Party Song Guide

Imagine waking up from an uninterrupted night of sleep to find that your idea of the world has been completely turned around. That's how I, DJ Bolli, feels. When I closed my eyes, it was the year 2015 and party songs all had daru, hot chicks, Yo Yo Honey Singh, jumping and shaking body moves, and nonsense lyrics. Suddenly, though, the year 2016 has rewritten the Party Song Guide it seems. Hence, I've launched the 2016 Party Song Guide to be used henceforth whenever you make a party song.

Forget clubs, from now on, your party song can be anywhere from business parties to the railway station to the jungle! Heck go ahead and party at your neighbour's barsi if you so feel like it! After all, if your photo can be taken ("Kheench Meri Photo" from Sanam Teri Kasam) at a mandi, or at the railway station; and you can get drunk and naach saari raat (Junooniyat) at an army gathering, then anything is possible.

No longer do you need to sing chaar bottle vodka. Today, party songs are about kale chashme and high heels. Of course, that doesn't mean that the alcohol stops flowing. For God's sake! How else will we know that this is a party song if there's no alcohol?! Daru is a must, but now it's fine, as long as someone is holding a glass and the leads have taken a few shots before starting to dance.

Not long ago, producers and directors would cast Indian extras to throw their hair around, watch the bartender's swag, and chug a few shots, but today Indians are so not cool anymore! Nope, no longer can your background dancers be Indians. They must be gori mems or Italians or Arabians or...well, basically they have to be foreign. Because foreign always looks so much better at an Indian marriage. Sheesh.

As I mentioned above, when I had closed my eyes, simply bouncing around like crazy was considered dance, but that will no longer work. Oh, the horror! I will no longer be able to audition for these extra roles because dancing is a must. In fact, you'd better be Prabhudeva in dance and Shah Rukh Khan in romance because no longer are party songs just party songs. They are romantic dance numbers!

Do you have trouble writing out a proper introduction or transition scene or conclusion? No problem. Just throw a dancing party song into the mix. After all, if John Abraham dances away happily in "Toh Dishoom" (Dishoom), and then becomes an angry young man in the movie, there is no problem with that because he was just being introduced in the song. Similarly, "Jaaneman Aah" is a perfect wrap for the movie because it just brings in Varun Dhawan's dancing skills and a happy ending. No sweat.

Finally, you no longer need to wait the entire movie to catch a glimpse of Sonakshi Sinha dancing to "Party All Night" (Boss(2013)), or Shraddha Kapoor pulling a Basanti in Ungli(2014) because guest appearances are a thing of the past. The party song now features the lead actor and actress just acting a little bit out of character, but since it's either a beginning, end, or filler video anyways, who cares?

Did you learn anything from this 2016 Party Song Guide? If not, that's all good because DJ Bolli is off to sleep again with the hopes that when she awakes next, the world will still be the same and the jeepers won't have been shocked out of her. In the meantime, you don't lock away this Party Song Guide and start using it as soon as possible, because who knows what revisions 2017 will bring to this edition. In the meantime, keep sending your luv letters with kale chashme and high heels to my lovely BollyCurry team! Ciao!

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