Friday, August 14, 2009

***I'm not talking about Michael Vick signing with the Eagles. I am leaving that to Mr. Ace if he wants to throw up a post. If he doesn't care as an Eagles fan, then why should we give a fuck? That being said, on with Fantasy Football Friday.***

If you are wondering who this busty, fiery redhead is, well this is Christina Hendricks. She plays the hottest woman ever on the AMC awesome drama, Mad Men. If you aren't watching this show, you really should be. It comes back for season 3 this Sunday night at 10 pm. Trust me, you will not be sorry. Personally, I love Mad Men. It's got office smoking, scotch drinking at all hours, degrading women, and Christina fucking Hendrix. As much as I love this show, hey, I also love some fantasy players this season. Why not segue into a post in which I discuss a few players that I think will have big to monster seasons the size of Christina's melons? After all, things are finally calming down at the Money Mansion and it's time to start focusing on my drafts. For fuck's sake, the G$FL Draft is next Sunday.

QB - Aaron RodgersDude, this guy is a top 6-7 QB. He was not a one year wonder. You could steal him away in the 5th round of your draft and be completely satisfied with your reward. Why take Tony Romo or Kurt Warner in the 3rd round when you can get a better QB two rounds later? Exactly. It doesn't make sense. Don't be afraid of Rodgers. He has weapons everywhere, his running backs sort of suck, and his defense made him throw a lot last season. That's the thing right there. You want your QB to play on a team with a shitty defense making him throw in the 4th quarter.

RB - Steve SlatonJust like Rodgers, are you really sure that you want to tie up your end of the first round pick on a 2nd year possibly fluky RB. Yes. Yes you do. I've talked myself into thinking that Slaton could be the next big thing in the backfield. Maybe not a Tomlinson, but I think he could be the next Brian Westbrook (without the gaping vagina though). The Texans are going to score. Don't worry about that. And in this day and age when it seems like every team splits carries, Slaton really doesn't share with anyone. Ahman Green? Hilarious. If you are picking from 9-12, feel free to hop on board the Slaton bandwagon.

WR - Chad OchocincoOK, I admit it. I found 85 hilarious on the first episode of Hard Knocks. "Child please" might even find it's way into my daily vocabulary. I don't really expect the Bengals to challenge in the North this year, but I do expect them to be much better. A healthy Carson Palmer will help those WR's. Don't get me wrong, Chad BURIED my team last year. But that was last year. And I only have room for one grudge (Braylon). As far as 85 goes, Housh isn't around anymore to steal catches from him. Do you really think Laverne Coles and Chris Henry are going to out-produce Chad? I don't think so. You may not like him, but I think that he has a nice bounce back year before he spends all of next summer asking to be traded. He'd be great as your #2 WR.

TE - Dustin Keller, NYJThe Jets are going to suck. They have no weapons in the passing game. Hell, they're going to be the proud owners of the worst QB's in the league this year. But, they will be able to run the ball. Which means that they will be in the red zone. Whoever is throwing picks and incompletions for them this Fall will learn quickly that Cotchery and Stuckey are awful. The safety valve? Dustin Keller. I had him last year and loved him. It seemed like he scored every week. I wouldn't recommend loading up on Jets this year, BUT, Keller in the 12th round is better than Shockey or Winslow in the 7th-9th.

Defense - DallasIn my league of heroes, I don't put much focus on defenses. But if you are in a league that rewards for turnovers and especially sacks, the Cowboys make sense. They got rid of shitheads like Roy Williams and Pacman. DeMarcus Ware is a stud. They get to play Eli Manning and Donovan McNabb 4 times. You'll have the dickhead in your league take the Steelers or Ravens defense in the 8th round, it always happens, but you are smarter than that. It's a wasted pick. If you are one of those guys that waits until the last 2 rounds to take a defense, don't be afraid of the Redskins, too.

Next week: Guys that I hate. Agree or disagree with the love? Let me know in the comments. Keep in mind, last year when I did this post, I said that I loved Jason Campbell, Larry Johnson, Santonio, and Shockey so take this for what it's worth. I'll be back on Monday hopefully talking about Tiger, just make sure that you WATCH MAD MEN.

10 comments:

FYI, Mr. Ace told me that he would write about Vick/Eagles on Monday. I'm sure that we're all on the edge of our seats for that one. Let's just hope that Jason Voorhies visits him at whatever lake he's at this weekend.

Call me crazy or call me a homer, but I really think Braylon is going to have a bounce back year. Maybe not 2007 good, but he will be a free agent next year and I expect him to catch 10+ TD's this year. Chances are the Browns will be behind a lot this year so that will help as well.

I do have 3 straight Super Bowl appearances and one title in the G$FL, so all of you out there might want think about taking this advice from an expert like myself.