“Dude, did you see that chick’s 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio?”

Ladies, have you been kidding yourself that the man in your life (surely you have one?) actually finds you attractive? Well, you’ll be shocked to know that he would actually find you more attractive if you looked like Jessica Alba or Kate Moss. Reality hurts, huh? It’s cool, this situation is fixable. Like the article says,

you don’t have to be a size zero to achieve this scientific definition of sexiness, it is after all, all about the ratio, so you could be a few sizes bigger than Alba and Moss but still achieve the desirable ratio, with 60s siren Marilyn Monroe an example.

You don’t have to be super thin; all you need is the ideal waist-to-hip ratio! No more struggling in vain to lose weight all over; now you can attempt to selectively increase or decrease specific separate areas of your body! Thanks for replacing an unattainable goal with another, different unattainable goal. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get myself a Weasel Belt so I can trim my waist and transform into a hottie that my boyfriend is actually attracted to instead being someone he feels kinda dissatisfied with.

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“Dixson’s research follows on from similar research by his father, Allan, a Victoria University biological sciences professor, focusing on women’s breasts.
He confirmed that men prefer women with medium-sized or large breasts.”

Wow that’s really worthy research right there. I mean fuck I hope these dudes are up for a Nobel.

And I love the “fear not women of New Zealand” bit ahead of “you don’t have to be a size zero to achieve this scientific definition of sexiness” – Because like I WAS SO FUCKING AFRAID. What a bunch of asslickers.