Friday, October 23, 2009

BSNYC星期五乐趣测验!

(Spotted by a reader in Salt Lake City)

Over the past few days or weeks or whatever it's been (my sense of time and space has become distorted ever since I rode over the Williamsburg Bridge yesterday) a number of readers have complained that my so-called "RSS feed" was displaying only the first paragraph of my posts instead of the "whole enchilada burrito." Well, this was not happening because I have some sort of malicious desire to inconvenience readers who choose to read via readers; instead, it was happening because I'm stupid and was having problems with my "feed," the solutions to which lay outside the feeble glow of my understanding. Consequently, I treated the problem like I treat all my problems: after spending four or five seconds on it and failing to solve it, I decided to ignore it in the hope it would go away.

Fortunately, one of the complainers also took the time to figure out my problem for me and tell me how to change it, and that whiny yet helpful person is "Bike Lemming." This is not the first thing Bike Lemming has done for me, either. Awhile back he also took the time to "curate" a couple of CDs and mail them to me:

Thank you, Bike Lemming, for all that you've done. I'll be in touch for help with that plumbing problem once the Department of Health lets me back inside.

In the meantime, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you will know, and if you're wrong you will see the Fixed-Gear Apocalypse--French Canadian style.

Thanks very much for reading and for forwarding various bits of intelligence. Enjoy the weekend, descend carefully, and may your cycling exploits be as "epic" as your burritos.

Originally from Marcy Houses housing project in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn in New York City,________ was abandoned by his father and at 12 years old, he had shot his brother in the shoulder for stealing his jewelry. ________ attended Eli Whitney High School in Brooklyn, along with rapper AZ, until it was closed down. After that he attended George Westinghouse Information Technology High School in Downtown Brooklyn, which fellow rappers The Notorious B.I.G. and Busta Rhymes also attended, and Trenton Central High School in Trenton, New Jersey, but did not graduate. In his music he refers to having been involved in selling crack cocaine.

He was born ________ on January 31, 1967 in Manhattan, the elder child of Elizabeth Frere and the late Robin C. Jones. His younger brother, Tobias Frere-Jones, is co-founder of the prominent typeface design company Hoefler & Frere-Jones, and is on the faculty of the Yale School of Art. Tobias and Alexander both legally changed their surnames from Jones to Frere-Jones in 1981.

He is a grandson of Alexander Stuart Frere-Reeves, the former chairman of the board of William Heinemann Ltd, the British publishing house, and a great-grandson of the novelist Edgar Wallace, who wrote many popular pulp novels, though he is best known for writing the story for the film King Kong. (C. Merrian Cooper wrote the screenplay.) A plaque honoring Edgar Wallace hangs on a wall in Fleet Street; in the eighties, an establishment called the Edgar Wallace Pub existed for several years. In 1983, Frere-Jones played Capulet in a St. Ann's production of "Romeo and Juliet" directed by Nancy Fales Garrett. Mia Sara played Juliet.

I can understand why the climb up Mont Ventoux is considered an "epic" stage of the Tour de France. But why is it that nearly every cyclist that I know considers practically every cycling endeavor that they undertake to be "epic" in some manner? Is this practice akin to how pretty much anything being sold on ebay that is in used condition is touted as being "vintage"?

I would like to thank Bad Lawyer who without his awesome support and strong stable pace I wouldn't be standing here on top of Friday's glorious podium! What a view! Look a that beautiful burrito! Fingerbang! Fingerbang!

The leg-shaving blog could use a Not Safe for Straight Guy Consumption at Work (NSFSGCAW). I had to click the back button, "tut sweet", for fear that my physical/amorous predilections would be associated with the content on the page. It's best to not initiate such misunderstandings.

Mr. Web: Are you home with an illness or are you longing to be at home?

San Antonio personal injury lawyer: you ride the Iron Man with a fixed gear to rub it in the face of all the multi-thousand dollar bikes that you are competing against. My only hope is that he did it in full Tweed kit. That would show them. It helps more to go fast on the bike, but finishing in-and-of-itself has some cache in the cafe that you regularly patronize. When you overhear a couple of riders rehashing their latest "epic" ride, you can look up from your copy of Architectural Digest and say, "Yeah well I did the IronMan on a fixed gear, beeotchez." A hush will fall over the cafe and you can return your periodical, flush with the pride of an uber-cyclist...

I know this crosses the hate line a little, but the guy who rode the madison in the ironman finished the 112 mile bike ride in 8 hours and change for an average speed of 14mph. On aerobars. With a $1000 front wheel. Pushing 46x18.

Anon 3:12-that part will be excluded in the retelling of the account, or it will be explained by a blow-out, mechanical failure (harder to justify on a fixie though), crash (caused by another cyclist), etc...

Probably not, but I don't really associate with 'literary types' - there must be some sort of Isle of Pretentiousness that breeds these editorial masturbators, and a market to sup from the literary bukkake.

I know this crosses the hate line a little, but the guy who rode the madison in the ironman finished the 112 mile bike ride in 8 hours and change for an average speed of 14mph. On aerobars. With a $1000 front wheel. Pushing 46x18.

Welcome. We actually encourage hate here, better if matched with bitterness.14mph is for woosie. If I do a century with those specs, I'd better be over 80 and incontinent.

"Since it has a perfume label, let's go with it and compare perfume at $90/.25oz to cologne which is far less expensive. Perfume is pure scent, so cologne which is mostly alcohol, isn't really a bargain after all."

hahahahahhah.

I make the same shit from already overpriced Royal Purple gear oil (for your ep additives--other oils have them as well) and mineral spirits. $12 for 4 ounces, hahahahah.

to pontoon at the apex of the Williamsburg bridge on the crossover (enabling you and your clones to serve out into rush hour commuters and presume no one is coming; presumption and self-importance being essential to fixters)

OR

Make a Gap-ad posture with Fisher-Price colors at the base of the Manhattan side, whilst trying to look "hard".... tough choice.

The Manhattan base seems to be more popular, b/c more of the civilian populace can witness your existence, thus providing you with the acknowledgement of uniqueness you paid so much to attire. Uh, I mean acquire. Plus, if you're a city tough Lower-East-Sider, you don't have to use energy riding your bike to the top since you can just wait for your friends to come over from Williamsburg/Bushwick before pedaling slowly around the island.

Another common occurrence: The great commuting RACE-

The fixter (about 90% of the purveyors), a wannabe roadie on a Specialized, or dude on a shitty mountain bike pounding it out of the saddle, LAYING WASTE to the competition on the first half of the incline of the bridge, only to immediately slow after the turn. Then, when someone who's been pedaling a consistent speed passes them, they have to accelerate to once again, prove who's faster to a bunch of people just trying to get home or get to work.

The best is when the triumphant fixter is now riding no-hands in the middle of the lanes, panting and practicing his mad skillzzzzz. When you try to go around them, the result is like a startled squirrel routine, swerving back and forth. It's like they can't imagine that anyone is faster, even after they have slowed significantly. So odd. They have no perception that their "max" speed may just be slightly faster than a regular commuter's cruising speed.

The only thing I can rationalize is that , as BSNYC has stated, since the fixters have never seen the inside of a velodrome, this is their only venue. Their only opportunity to measure themselves. That's what's so delusional. They would get killed in a real track race, but they have their smugness arrogantly satisfied by a commute. Take it down a few notches, you suck terribly. It's okay. Just realize it.

I don't know how hilly the ironman course is, but assuming it's got a couple challenging climbs, that 14 mph average wouldn't really be so bad would it? I mean, with a 46/18, he'd undoubtedly be walking it up anything even remotely steep, thus driving the speed way down. Or maybe he'd be carrying it -- which then wouldn't register on his cpu, and so not affect his average speed at all.

I'd hate to see the fixters breaking an arm whilst patting themselves on the back for tackling the alpine hell that is the Williamsburg bridge. But...a couple of weeks ago I had one do the exact same thing. Speed by, then slow, thinking he had DROPPED the competition. I continued my normal commute pace, and after passing, he had to speed up again. As he passed he said,"man, you're making me work!". I didn't really know how to respond. I just shook my head. What world is he living in? Commuting isn't a race, and this isn't a tough climb....I'm all for a healthy ego and self confidence, but jeeeez. A little perspective maybe

It ain't billiard table flat, but basically; wrong assumption. The course goes between the mountains and otherwise follows the coast road. That doesn't mean it's easy, as the real obstacle is the ocean wind; wind that's got lots of what's called "scope."

"that 14 mph average wouldn't really be so bad would it?"

Yes, yes it would.

"I mean, with a 46/18. . ."

He would be 4" BELOW the MEDIUM gear limit. This happens to be my daily "putzing around" gear. His speed restriction would be his TOP speed, not his climbing speed. This would depend on how fast he could twiddle his feet down hill/wind. His AVERAGE cadence was a whopping - 70.

If he, ya know - sucks. No, I wouldn't want to ride that gear up Washington or Equinox, but any more typical mountain country course - that's a good gear.

"-- which then wouldn't register on his cpu"

Dude, they don't time races with rider cpus. They use this thing called a "watch."

"Is it true pizza wasn't invented in Italy?"

"Pizza" was invented in Italy. Stuff piled on top of a flat bread and called something else because they didn't speak Latin there was not. The Italian innovation was including tomato sauce in what was piled on top.

Ack -- ugh. Well, the Jay-Z issue -- the irony: he recently played tribute to the Beastie Boys whose members include Michael Diamond: a spoiled brat whose childhood home was adorned with Renoir, Giacometti, and ... well, you get the idea: daddy had bank and sent him to school with Snassha Snare Jones. Street cred!!!!

kfg,I can't imagine defending a tri-geek, but the fact that "This happens to be my daily "putzing around" gear." doesn't really take into account the 2.4 mile open-water swim and the 26.2 mile run to follow.While it's stupid to do this sort of thing on fixed gear (using a hammer to tighten a nut), it's still kinda impressive.

You'll be warmer on an incline if you don't draft, get your heartrate up. Plus, it hasn't been that cold in NYC. Just sayin....also I think the point was that he wasn't going that fast. Just commuting.

Before this week, I did not know Sasha Frere-Jones from Adam's cat. On Friday, I accompanied my wife to a doctor's appointment. In the waiting room, I picked up a copy of the New Yorker and, sure enough, there was Sasha's article. It was unreadable. I gave up after 3 paragraphs.

I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right try not to wet your shants with excitement, and if you're wrong you'll see the fixed-gear crotch cam, forwarded by a reader.plumber diamond bar

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!