Huh, I never realized there was a name for this. I didn't realize this was thing until you made this post—but now that I've seen photos, I'm definitely familiar with it. It's just not something I paid much attention to, I guess.

I once had a boyfriend who, after going down on me, told me he very nearly came while doing so because of the sounds I was making. Oh man, that was probably the most arousing thing anyone has ever told me.

I don't like penetration to last too long, because it tends to numb the area and feel boring after a few minutes. Worst case scenario, it chafes, which ruins sex and can sometimes leave me in pain for over a day. Maybe 2-3 minutes is ideal? But I also really enjoy when a guy orgasms sooner, especially by accident; I have a bit of a fetish for guys losing self-control. When I masturbate alone, I often fantasize about my partner cumming as soon as he enters me (or even just before).

Including foreplay, it varies. Sometimes I like it to be fast a furious--we're kissing, and then suddenly we're naked and thrusting ourselves at each other. Other times I like a very slow, seductive build-up with lots of tension, often repeating on and off throughout the day before we finally give in to temptation.

Feminism isn't an institution. It's a loose gaggle of people--most of whom disagree with each other in major ways (example: try starting a discussion about legalizing prostitution amongst a group of feminists, and see how much they fight about it)--but who, for historical reasons, happen to use the same term to identify themselves. It's about as vague as "conservative" or "liberal".

Actually, my favorite part of the penis is the ball area. It's just a really cool shape—the way the base of the penis slides under the balls and then curves out past them toward the anus. I like the ridge down the shaft, and the way it feels when you grip that whole area (balls and base of penis when it's erect); it's springy yet solid, strong yet vulnerable.

Also, the balls themselves are pretty interesting in and of themselves. The balls are constantly changing in appearance when a guy is aroused; they grow and recede, become smooth and then wrinkly, etc. And they feels so nifty to hold. It's such a fascinating part of the male body.

I wouldn't necessarily say the ball area of the penis is the most erotic part of the male body, but it's definitely the most entrancing for me, both to touch and to watch. I think if I had a penis, I wouldn't be able to stop examining myself there.

You did not invent the internet. You were not there first. The people who invented the internet, the people who were there first, were scientists and engineers employed at universities and computer companies.

If they took a peek into your life today, would they feel like you were truly "one of them"? I doubt it, unless you are also a rising star in computer science with a greater dedication to your intellectual passion than to "sharing porn from ftp severs, writing web pages in notepad, and RPing on IRC chat."

None of that existed before they made it possible. Pretending you're one of them just because you've been using the internet a long time is like pretending that being a lifelong Lord of the Rings fan puts you in the same league as Tolkien.

If it's any consolation, I was active on OKCupid for years when I was single. There were certainly offensive messages that arrived in my inbox, but the great majority of messages I received were from some very cool, sensible men who were a joy to converse with.

I think it has to do with how you answer questions and otherwise try to filter people out. I had a lot of trouble with shitty messages at first, but switching over to less flattering photos (e.g., of me in my glasses), making my profile very long and involved, and adhering a very specific idea of the kind of guy I wanted to appeal to when I answered questions and wrote my profile all helped me weed out the horrible men and attract the awesome ones.

It's worth noting that I did not put any aggressive sentences in my profile. I knew the kind of guy I'm into tends to be easily intimidated by my anger, whereas assholes are insensitive to my cares and would not be dissuaded in the least. So I wrote my profile for the guys I wanted to attract, not the guys I didn't want to attract.

I suspect that women (and men) who put words like this in their profile—even if they're true—actually end up scaring off the sensitive people they want to attract. It's counterproductive to address the people you hate instead of the people you like, especially in the opening to your profile. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It goes both ways; lots of sweet, wonderful men routinely date some pretty shitty, abusive women. Yet I wouldn't send a message to a man on OKCupid to tell him that "all u entitled dickwads only date SLUTS, CUMGUZZLERS, and dick-hating LESBIANS". That would be extremely stupid, offensive, and ill-directed.

The guy who sent this message is clearly not one of the "normal successful upstanding men" he's talking about.

Are you sure she's making you jump through hoops? She might just be trying to keep the conversation light. A lot of people (like myself) chastise people in a friendly way, since they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings over a minor thing.

However, friendly teasing is easily misunderstood if there are not verbal cues to go along with it. Texts are very, very easy to misinterpret. Her use of emoticons makes me think she wants you to know that she's just joking around with you in a friendly way, but that's no guarantee.

Whatever the case, don't assume anything about her intentions or state of mind until you've actually picked up the phone and called her. Without verbal cues, you're flying blind here.

I like drawing human anatomy. There are some parts of the body that I find more enjoyable to draw than others because they have a very interesting or well-balanced shape. The forearm is one of those. Also, the curve of the lower back, the jaw line, the tendons of the neck, the breast bone, the calves, the deltoids, the heel and arch of the foot, etc. When I see someone in whom these physically features are particularly shapely, I find them more good-looking (though not necessarily in a sexual way) and I feel a stronger desire to replicate their features on paper.

There are other parts of the body I find kind of...boring or amorphous or awkward looking. I don't find these attractive on people in whom they are accentuated. This includes the biceps (makes the arm look a bit amorphous if they're too big), pectorals (they look imbalancing and out of place to me if they're prominent), abs (they are simply weird looking when prominent), the upper bit of the trapezius muscles (they de-emphasize the pleasing shape of the deltoids if they're too big), and so on.

It's hard to explain why exactly large forearm muscles look good to me, while large biceps look bad to me. It's like the difference between the Arabian horse and the donkey; I don't know why exactly the Arabian's anatomical features appear so much more shapely to me—I'm sure it's arbitrary to some extent—but I definitely do find the Arabian more artistically satisfying to behold. For me, the broad, tapering forearm of a man is like the arching neck of an Arabian; it accentuates his entire body and makes him look more balanced, graceful, powerful.

If it's any consolation (though it might actually be the opposite), I'm in my late 20s and I've never had any trouble orgasming since puberty, yet I simply do not orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. It is merely a fantastic supplement to clitoral stimulation (which I do during sex for purposes of simultaneous orgasm).

I definitely have a G-spot (tucked away just behind the pubic bone, beyond the reach of anything but fingers that can curl around the bone), and when it is stimulated, it creates some incredible sensations unlike anything else I've ever felt. But as incredible as they are, they do not cause me to orgasm. Again, they are a fantastic supplement to clitoral stimulation.

I think of vaginal and G-spot stimulation as being like having my neck nipped, my nipples caressed, etc. These are all wonderful sensations, and sex is not complete without them. But they do not cause orgasm; the clitoris is for orgasm. And that's OK, because orgasm is the flourish at the end of sex; it's definitely not the main course!

I think this is a misconception (though it may legitimately apply to a subset of women, though I personally do not know any such women).

In my case, I've never had a boyfriend who wasn't already an established friend from at least one year prior. In one case, we were friends for 8 years before we got together.

Here's the things, though: If a person is attractive to you, you might someday pursue things with them—and that day could very well be today. In fact, it usually will be right away, because why wait? That is, unless there are complicating factors (e.g., being shy or already being in a relationship). In my case, there have always been complicating factors.

But if someone is not attractive to you, you will never pursue things with them—though you can still be friends with them, of course. But there is probably little to nothing you can do to make them see you in a romantic light.

This means that when you immediately hit things off with a girl, it's because you're her type, and she didn't have a reason to wait to act on those feelings; basically, there was never a particular time window within which you needed to get her attention. When you don't immediately hit things off with a girl, it either means you're not her type (and that won't likely change) or there are complicating factors that prevent her from pursuing you despite her attraction to you. It's not because you missed your window of opportunity to act.

Attraction is often (usually?) immediately apparent—so, yes, a woman will often know within the first 5 minutes whether she's into you or not. And if she is into you and is able to pursue you, she'll probably do it right away. This gives the illusion that you have 5 minutes to make a good first impression. But in actuality, if you're not attractive to a girl, there's nothing you can do in those first 5 minutes to magically render yourself attractive; and if you are attractive to a girl, you don't need to do anything in the first 5 minutes, other than restrain from massively fucking it up (e.g., insulting her dead grandmother or something).

To improve your chances with women, you should stop putting excessive effort into a few minutes of conversation and instead focus on making yourself more (physically, socially, intellectually, etc.) attractive to women on an ongoing basis. Be an attractive person; don't just do a single attractive thing.

I'm not sure what she means by "intimidating" here. But there are definitely some men I find intimidating.

I'm easily turned off or scared off by guys with gruff or aggressive personalities. The same with men who try to show off too much. And men who gossip or speak ill of others behind their backs. Men who are overly competitive. Men who swear excessively or use insulting language (unless it's a joke, but even then it should be done sparingly). Men who are cynical or misanthropic. Men who lie. Men who are overly sensitive or emotional—around whom I must carefully word everything I say, lest I accidentally say it in a way that hurts them or, worse, angers them. Men who seek out my company too much, ask me to many questions, or otherwise don't give me enough breathing room (I am an introvert and need some space). Men who make a lot of references, like jokes alluding to pop culture, that I don't get. Men who use sexual innuendo in inappropriate contexts. Men who are obviously attracted to other women besides me. Men who are still hung up on their exes. And men who find me intimidating.

But I do greatly enjoy men whom I can trust to speak directly and truthfully to me if there's an issue, who engage me in interesting intellectual discussions, who are competent and have an array of different interests, who enjoy a bit of well-meant teasing back and forth, and who don't hide their feelings from me (assuming they can discuss it calmly and unbiasedly). Some women find such men intimidating, but I actually find men who aren't this way intimidating because I don't know what's going on in their heads and/or I don't know how to interact with them.

As a woman, it's a bit frustrating seeing men attempting to be the kind of man that all women want, when actually our tastes are quite varied. The result is that men try to be the kind of man that is celebrated in media. It makes me so sad when I see a guy struggling against himself to try to be someone he is not in a misguided attempt to be "good enough" for me, when I don't even want the kind of man he's trying to be.

For example, I've found that I'm much happier when I'm with a guy whose work is flexible (at the cost of income) than I am with a guy whose work is high paying (at the cost of flexibility). Another example, I find the bodybuilder look unattractive, and I'd rather be with a guy whose physique turns me on (at the cost of looking physically powerful) than with a guy who looks physically powerful (at the cost of turning me on). But on TV, you almost always only see supremely muscular men with longterm, high-powered jobs—at least among male characters that are depicted as being desirable to women.

When a man hears a woman say something like, "No, really, I'm glad your penis isn't any longer than it is!" it must sound to him the way "No, really, I'm glad you're not 10 pounds lighter than you are right now!" must sound to her. The social messages we receive are so strong and overwhelming that when someone contradicts them, it doesn't merely sound like they have odd tastes; it sounds like they're lying! That is supremely fucked up.

Break up—never, ever cheat. You haven't been with your girlfriend for long, and you're still very young and figuring out what you want. That's reason enough to break up with someone. You're not a douchebag for breaking up with someone you don't feel a strong desire to be with, or for breaking up because you're not ready for something serious yet.

But there is no excuse for cheating as long as breaking up is a possibility. Cheating is supremely shitty behavior. You shouldn't ever do that someone else—you shouldn't even put yourself into scenarios where the temptation exists—especially not someone whom you profess to care about on any level. Cheating seriously fucks people up a lot longer than a clean breakup does.

One time my boyfriend was several hours late coming home from work during a time when he didn't have a working phone. We'd made plans for that night, and when he didn't show, my first (and only) assumption was that there must have been a terrible accident. I was crying and searching his commute for signs of wreckage, and even got his family involved and searching. (Fortunately, it turns out he'd forgotten about our plans and had stayed late to finish up a project for a deadline.)

If he'd disappeared for two weeks without my knowledge, I'd have been convinced he was dead, and the police would have been informed by hour #24. People who respond to other people's disappearances with anger before fear confuse me.