.... I was in the pub the other night and in walks an #### with a parrot on his shoulder!

So I say were the fuck did you get him??

The Parrot says " Africa there is fucking loads of the bastards"

This will not be tolertated!!

ta ta

Haha I've heard that one before.

I honestly don't see what the big deal is about Racism. Everyone's a racist, PERIOD! The degree and the group(s) towards which the bias exists will vary from person to person, but that's beside the point. The point is EVERYONE is racist, in some way. Some people are just more honest about it than others. Of course that doesn't mean it's a good thing or a bad thing.

I wouldn't drop a friend if I knew they were racist. If they're militant, then yeah, I'll stay away but those people are very rare. I've got friends from just about every race I can think of and since I'm very picky with my mates, they're all good people in their own way.

I personally think treat people as individuals, at least in the beginning. If they're just average, then yeah, the racism will definitely serve as a means through which you can blow off some steam, which here is contempt. I think there are great and beautiful people in all races, but I also think that the majority of all races is just plain boring and unworthy of attention

Hahahaha hopefully Sars or MoS will ungay this thread. I must resist this urge to post seriously. There, it's gone

i think, kiwi, the difference is between people who are racist in the sense that they realize there are differences between races and the ones who think certain races are inherently inferior to others (not coincidentally these people always assume their own race is, if not on top of the ladder, near the top).

blacks like fried chicken, asians got small dicks, whites have no rhythm, whatever you wanna come up with that's all fine by me. what really irks me is when people start to insult people simply for being of a given race. the divide between joking with your black friend when he insists on going to KFC for lunch and yelling that a black guy is too stupid to understand why he's wrong about something and that it's no surprise since he's a few steps behind on the evolutionary scale... that's a big divide indeed.

This is the perfect place for it Doc! I'd really appreciate it if you did.

I warned you it was a long joke....

A black family moves to a great neighborhood with their kids. There's a park pretty close to the house and the youngest loves to play baseball. Every day he goes to the park and asks to play with the white kids and the tell him "no, we don't play with black kids". This goes on most of the summer... One day, breaking balls one of the white kids said "If you paint yourself white, we'll let you play". The kid ran home and covered himself the best he could with paint from his dad's garage. He came back and they decided to let him play.

He came home from baseball, walked in the door and his mother freaked out. She thought he had been the victem of a hate crime or some shit like that. He told her what happened and she spanked him for disrespecting his race. Later his older brother came home, found out about it and beat him up. Just before dinner, his father came home to a very pissed-off wife, heard the story and immediately came upstairs. He sat his son down and told him how important it is to be true to yourself, gave him a talking to about Martin Luther King and an asswhoopin'.

At dinner, they were still all upset and yelling at him. The boy excused himself from the table and said: Damn! I've only been white one day and I already hate you blacks.

A black family moves to a great neighborhood with their kids. There's a park pretty close to the house and the youngest loves to play baseball. Every day he goes to the park and asks to play with the white kids and the tell him "no, we don't play with black kids". This goes on most of the summer... One day, breaking balls one of the white kids said "If you paint yourself white, we'll let you play". The kid ran home and covered himself the best he could with paint from his dad's garage. He came back and they decided to let him play.

He came home from baseball, walked in the door and his mother freaked out. She thought he had been the victem of a hate crime or some shit like that. He told her what happened and she spanked him for disrespecting his race. Later his older brother came home, found out about it and beat him up. Just before dinner, his father came home to a very pissed-off wife, heard the story and immediately came upstairs. He sat his son down and told him how important it is to be true to yourself, gave him a talking to about Martin Luther King and an asswhoopin'.

At dinner, they were still all upset and yelling at him. The boy excused himself from the table and said: Damn! I've only been white one day and I already hate you blacks.

A black family moves to a great neighborhood with their kids. There's a park pretty close to the house and the youngest loves to play baseball. Every day he goes to the park and asks to play with the white kids and the tell him "no, we don't play with black kids". This goes on most of the summer... One day, breaking balls one of the white kids said "If you paint yourself white, we'll let you play". The kid ran home and covered himself the best he could with paint from his dad's garage. He came back and they decided to let him play.

He came home from baseball, walked in the door and his mother freaked out. She thought he had been the victem of a hate crime or some shit like that. He told her what happened and she spanked him for disrespecting his race. Later his older brother came home, found out about it and beat him up. Just before dinner, his father came home to a very pissed-off wife, heard the story and immediately came upstairs. He sat his son down and told him how important it is to be true to yourself, gave him a talking to about Martin Luther King and an asswhoopin'.

At dinner, they were still all upset and yelling at him. The boy excused himself from the table and said: Damn! I've only been white one day and I already hate you blacks.

These types are funny if they are not simply cause someone is black brown whatever. The first one I found funny jus because when I heard it the last thing you think is that the parrot will speak, whereas some jokes are simply a racial stereotype.

Anyway another one and the last one before I sound like I hate my own race!! lol

Whats white with a black asshole?....................................the A team!

I know this laid back kinda dude from The Dominican Rep. You can say all kinds of racist shit towards him, he doesn't give a flyin' fvck. Good fella, actually quite big but won't hurt a fly.

I knew some other dude who was quite the sensitive type. Always the evil eye and bad attitude. Originally from Curacao. One time I mentioned that I don't like the color black for a car, and that shitstain was all over me with his fvcking gangsta wannabe attitude, saying stuff like " why, you have a problem with black, and mumbling some shit about respect." Just told him, If you want respect, you gotta show some respect yourself. Big problem that dude was.

A black family moves to a great neighborhood with their kids. There's a park pretty close to the house and the youngest loves to play baseball. Every day he goes to the park and asks to play with the white kids and the tell him "no, we don't play with black kids". This goes on most of the summer... One day, breaking balls one of the white kids said "If you paint yourself white, we'll let you play". The kid ran home and covered himself the best he could with paint from his dad's garage. He came back and they decided to let him play.

He came home from baseball, walked in the door and his mother freaked out. She thought he had been the victem of a hate crime or some shit like that. He told her what happened and she spanked him for disrespecting his race. Later his older brother came home, found out about it and beat him up. Just before dinner, his father came home to a very pissed-off wife, heard the story and immediately came upstairs. He sat his son down and told him how important it is to be true to yourself, gave him a talking to about Martin Luther King and an asswhoopin'.

At dinner, they were still all upset and yelling at him. The boy excused himself from the table and said: Damn! I've only been white one day and I already hate you blacks.

I've got another one that I won't tell someone unless I know them really well and know certain details of their life, specifically how long their parents have been married for! Here's why - f*cking classic

A young woman (late teens), a corporate executive, a priest and a homeless bum/tramp are all waiting in a train station for the train. When it pulls up, they all get into the same car and end up sitting next to and across each other. The girl, who's been looking very depressed from the start, suddenly bursts out into tears and starts sobbing uncontrollably. Everyone looks at each other and then, the priest breaks the awkwardness by saying, "What's the matter my child?" to which the girl says (sobbing), "Oh father! I just learnt today that I'm illegitimate. I've been devastated ever since and am very embarrassed. I've been very upset blah, blah, blah". The priest then says, "But it's not your fault! You shouldn't hold yourself responsible for something you had no control over. Besides we're all children of God, who's our father blah, blah, blah." In the end, the priest says, "And if it'll make you feel any better, I'm illegitimate too. But I'm not ashamed of it since I consider myself to be God's child, just like the rest of you are blah, blah, blah". Upon hearing this, the girl stops crying and is a little composed.

The middle aged, smartly-dressed executive guy then clears his throat, looks at the girl and says, "Excuse me, but I couldn't help overhearing you guys talk. And I want you to know that I'm illegitimate too. But I didn't worry about my past so much. I just looked forward to the future, worked hard, paid my dues and am now very happy and successful, with a beautiful family of my own. That's what you should do, not to mention like the priest said, we're all God's children blah, blah, blah". Upon hearing this, the girl's completely consoled and smiling now, as are the priest and the executive.

The bum, who's been watching the whole thing silently up until then, slowly pulls out a cigarette, puts it in his mouth and says, "Excuse me". When the 3 of them turn towards him smiling, he says, "Have any of you bastards got a light?"