VICTORY IS OURS! Today the Mighty Nation of Wadiya triumphed over the Zionist snakes of Hollywood. Evil and all those who made Satan their protector were vanquished and driven into the Pacific Sea. What I am trying to say here is that the Academy have surrendered and sent over two tickets and a parking pass! TODAY OSCAR, TOMORROW OBAMA!

My mom said the other day that everybody should come to the Oscars dressed as their characters, because she doesn’t recognize them when they’re covered in fancy. That is a genius idea. Michelle Williams should come as Marilyn Monroe, Bryce Dallas Howard should come with a piece of shitty caca pie in her mouth, Glenn Close should come as the Irish Beavis, Jonah Hill should wear a fat suit and Michael Fassbender should just repeatedly come on the red carpet if you know what I mean.

But seriously, this stupid shit makes me miss the good old days when Bjork laid a swan egg on the red carpet. The Oscars should invite Bjork, so she can show all those amateur whores how a true STUNT QUEEN does it.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).