Listen Up, Men (from the Ladies)

3. I don’t care WHAT they did in the **** video you saw, it is not standard practice to *** on someone’s face.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON’T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your ****?

7. I don’t care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

8. Having my period does Not mean that it’s “****** week” - get it through your head - I’m bloated and I feel like **** so no, I don’t feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can’t have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8 - “Blue Balls” might have worked on high school girls - if you’re that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don’t tell me I’ve just “wrecked it” for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it’s probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we’re good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn’t particularly taste good. And I don’t care about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don’t get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

16. Just because “it’s awake” when you get up does not mean I have to “kiss it good morning”.

While I will defend blue balls as a real condition, I will also admit that, yeah, I can just go jerk off when my girl doesn't want it. I do have an argument against #15, though. True friends don't usually brag about getting head, but me and my best friend have talked about sex with our girlfriends in the past, when the girls weren't around. That's the truth of the matter. (btw you were obviously angry at some guys when writing this, but I did find it amusing and funny. good job writing it so well!)

I knew a lady who, while great in bed, gave such great blow jobs that they were all I wanted from her. OMG I will never forget her. Gee......I haven't thought about her for hours. Thank you CK, now I'm depressed all over again. Oh lord, she was good. She sucked so hard it made my head cave in slighty. She could empty a full aqua lung in ten seconds flat. It didn't take her ten seconds to empty me. I wish I hadn't read this story. I think I'm going to cry.

I agree with these rules and some. Appreciation for a good blow job should be common sense. Men need to know how to keep a good thing going because good blow jobs are hard to come by from what I hear. It always amazes me how they act like they cant live without it but when they screw it up and then start calling you begging and apologizing because its easy to move on when you know you give good a BLOW JOB!

Hecks, yes! Double heck YES to number 8 & 9 AND 16, with an addition that 'if' they except to get kissed good morning, per se, coffee should be brought first.<br /><br />I will also add #17- Just because I start the job, does not mean I am entitled to "finish" it. Wrapping my lips around one's **** is simply the most expedient manner to command the attention of your ***** which feels much better between my legs, than ramming my face!<br /><br />Excellent!

I just came across one of the most close minded person in EP
Who is selfish and hard headed.
Who keeps complaining.
Who believe to be a realist.
Who can't stand happiness and positive attitudes because it's something unachievable
Who want people to sympathize with...

deleted

26-30
3 Responses
0
Oct 24, 2009

Okay so writing my next report on spiritual creature believes can I have some opinions? No names will be mentioned just need facts and opinions related to this topic

yes you- the person who posted a distressed question asking if anyone who was in the circle of a particular member could please get them to leave you alone because thwy were a monor and you couldn't figure out how to block themi take the time to answer youe question knowing it...