RECENT SLEEP SNORT FUCKERS

Monday, July 19, 2010

The date began badly. First, she turned up her nose at my suggestion of sushi: “Ew! I want real food!” So we found ourselves at a picnic table eating hamburgers and fries, hers dipped in a large pile of blubbery mayo.

Back in the car, she switched the radio from Waits to Madonna. I thought about kicking her out right then.

But I’m a gentleman, so I suggested wine at my place (she was French, after all), but she said, “No, that’s boring,” and next thing I know we’re down by the lake drinking Jaegermeister. Jaegermeister, for chrissakes! Haven’t drunk that stuff since college. I managed not to puke this time, even when she said, “I’m going to fuck you now, oui?” What could I say? I was powerless in her hands, her mouth, her cunt. She scared the hell out of me, from her rock-hard nipples to her abundant thighs to her curious tongue. I envisioned news flashes next day: Culture Clash: Carniverous Frenchie Fucks Shy Biology Teacher Dead. She was all energy, grinning and grinding, sound and sexual fury. I ached for days, especially where my knee wedged into the dashboard. How she fit all those ways I never did figure.

I kept her number for a long time. “Call me,” she said as she slipped the paper into my jeans pocket. Not a question, more a demand. I wanted to, I really did.

Michelle Elvylives and writes on a 43′ sailboat and is presently located in Whangarei, New Zealand. She has published stories about children, food, faraway places, motorcycling, dreaming big, and the kindness of strangers. Her recent fiction can be read at Metazen, Words With JAM, Like Birds Lit and 6S. You can find Michelle writing at Glow Worm, flashing at 52|250listening at VOICES, or sailing on Momo.She likes the word blubbery, but she does not generally like things blubbery.