Friday, June 03, 2011

The Myth of "Me Time"

Almost a decade ago when I was a young bride, I would come across well-meaning conservative Christian women groups where women tried to counsel each other in Titus 2 fashion. DISCLAIMER: I am NOT mocking or bashing conservative Christian women counseling each other in Titus 2 fashion. I believe whole-heartedly that women of Christ SHOULD follow Titus 2.* However, these women, as people tend to do, were more or less following the latest trend. I could see the trend ebb and flow over the years I followed certain sites. Suddenly, all the ladies were headcovering, or wearing jumpers, or making their own bread, or whatever the latest "trend" was. Now, there's nothing wrong with headcovering, dressing modestly or making your own bread. Of course not! But, let it be a true conviction of God and not just something that FEELS good to do and makes you feel (and look) holier than thou, or even pridefully humble.

Anyhow, one of these trends that stood out to me was doing away with "me time." Good, conservative Christian ladies martyred themselves completely to never having any "me time." "Me time" was only for worldly, selfish women who styled their hair, wore pants and fed their families take-out. "Me time" was utter selfishness. We ladies should never leave our children with a babysitter or *gasp* our husbands so we can go something as vile as using that manicure gift card or buying ourselves new underwear or even just taking a walk and being able to complete a single thought without interruption.

As ridiculous as that all sounds, for some reason I sorta latched onto that! It lingered in the back of my head every time someone babysat my kiddos, or I thought about waking up early to exercise. I even had holier than thou thoughts about other ladies I know who do take time for themselves to care for themselves.

I remarked how career women who spend 8-10 hours a day away from their children are the first to jump at "me time" opportunities. But, then I realized that I would spend hours in front of the computer. I'd soak in the shower. I'd sleep in and grumble when I heard my children stirring. How is that any better? It ain't. In my self-righteousness, I was sinning deeply. Mote and beam, baby. Right here!

The verdict? EVERYONE needs time for themselves. Not the "I can't stand my own children so I have to get away from them to find myself" me time. But, just occasional time.

For me, right now it's getting up early and exercising. I'm amazed at how after just a few days of doing this I feel so much better! I'm even sleeping better! I'm getting more done because I don't feel "fanny draggy" all day. It releases tension so I'm not crabby at my kiddos! I even painted my toes the other day. Little things like that make a big difference.