2010 is a typical year which began without fanfare on Friday, January 1st, 2010. It was quickly adopted by islands in the South Pacific, and Australia. Asia, Antarctica and Africa later followed suit, along with parts of South America. Much of Europe, the Pacific U.S. coast, and the U.S. state of Hawaii never accepted the new-fangled year, preferring 2009, or even 2002, on the principle of "Fuck you, futurists of the past, for making us think we'd have flying cars by now."

Important events

January 1 - One crappy decade ends, and an even more crappier decade begins.

January 26 - A jobless single woman living with her parents and her six children gives birth to an octopus. The octopus goes on to predict the winner of the FIFA World Cup.

January 29 - The Australian government bans the depiction of women with breast sizes smaller than an A-cup in pornography films. Australian men everywhere give the new law their full support, saying it is "well-rounded".

February 7 — Super Bowl XLIV is played before a worldwide television audience of several people, and 100 million Americans. As of 2015, approximately one person remembers that the final score was New Orleans 31, Indianapolis 17. Good on you, Mr. Peyton Manning.

May 1 - April Fool's Day is celebrated a month later than usual, when a terrorist places a giant bomb in the middle of Times Square in New York City. Shortly afterwards, a flag pops out with the word "BOOM!" written on it.

May 13 - Obamacare is passed by the U.S. Congress, giving U.S. citizens the right to pay more money for something that they still won't get.

May 13 - A film starring Will Farrell that doesn't blow massive donkey balls is released. Three people see it.