Ain’t so much that I was turned on by them but rather it was a matter of “Any port in a storm”…or so I thought.

I was stuck at a desert outpost during my time in the French Foreign Legion. I asked one of the other guys what was usually done in order to get some relief and he told me “We use the camels.” At first I was disgusted, but after a few weeks I started rationalizing it to myself…so late one night I snuck into the stables where the camels were kept and started going at it with one of ‘em. Right after I got into a rhythm the same dude who first mentioned humping the humped creatures walked into the building and stared at me, bug-eyed and slack jawed.

“What are you doing?!” he finally exclaimed.

“Dude, you told me ya’ll use the camels when you’re horny” was my flustered response as I started pulling up my pants.

“Well, yeah” he said, “But me and the other guys use the camels to ride into town and pick up girls”