LAS VEGAS (TPC) Harry Mason Reid, "cowboy poet" who is known to his fans as the Senate Majority Leader, was lying in the middle of the road with no car in sight when another driver spotted him and called 911, according to a recording released Thursday. Officials said Reid was naked and threatened to kill state troopers when he was arrested late Tuesday night.

Apparently Read was returning home from a poetry reading at the Cowboy Poets Society (CPUSA). He was charged with driving while intoxicated and retaliation or obstruction, and released Wednesday on $21,500 bond from the Clark Co. jail in Las Vegas. A mug shot showed a battered-looking Reid in a T-shirt, with a black eye and dried blood on his face. He later walked barefoot out of the county jail wearing scrubs and a "Viva Las Vegas" baseball cap.

The 911 caller did not identify Reid by name and said he at first thought the body belonged to a deer. "I'm spooked out," he said. "I don't see a vehicle, there's a couple of cones scattered." Nevada troopers responding to the scene said a Pontiac Trans Am registered to the 71-year-old Reid had been driven off the road and struck several barricades in a construction road. Reid was not wearing clothes and made threats against the Texas troopers, said a Department of Public Safety spokesman. He said the senator refused sobriety tests, so a blood specimen was taken.

"Reid had a strong odor of alcoholic beverage on his breath and several signs of intoxication," according to a statement from the sheriff's office. "While Reid was being transported, he made threats to shoot and rape the troopers working the case."

District Attorney said the felony retaliation or obstruction charge could be referred to a grand jury within a month or six weeks, while the DWI case could be filed as soon as prosecutors decide whether to proceed. The felony count carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison and/or a fine of up to $10,000.

It's been a rocky couple of years for Reid, a Las Vegas native best known for such tunes as "The war is lost," "Romney Pays No Taxes," and other tunes popular among Democrat voters. Friends cite increasing stress and anxiety over losing Senate majority role in the coming election as a likely reason for this breakdown.

A representative for U.S. Senate said there would be no comment Thursday.

Comrade Pistov, you do have a valid point, which is definitely a Current Truth.

Nevertheless, it makes one wonder - was Comrade Reid also drunk, naked, and disheveled when he pulled over that busload of nuns at gunpoint in Nevada and raped them? Quite possibly, I'd have to say. In fact, has he actually ever stopped raping nuns?

Sounds like he may be a good candidate to replace Bob Dole in those Viagra ads, especially since he voted to use taxpayer dollars to pay for Viagra for convicted child molesters and sex offenders.

Once I finished laughing crying at this tragic story, I couldn't help but suspect that some vile Tea Party conspiracy must be behind this. Certain parts of the story just don't add up.

For instance, we all know the CPUSA does not meet on Wednesdays, as their paltry federal funding only affords them alternating bi-weekly meetings on Mondays or Fridays.

Second, who exactly was this "Department of Public Safety spokesman"? A genuine DPS apparatchik would never make statements that could embarrass a senior party official like Reid.

Too many inconsistencies.

Occam's Razor: A violent gang of Tea Party insurgents abducted the noble Reid while he was donating blood to homeless autistic children. He was beaten, drugged, drenched in alcohol, stripped of his clothing, and left in a staged tableau of a car accident. The drugs combined with blood donation exacerbated his disorientation, causing delusional statements (Honestly, who has never yelled, "I'm going to rape and shoot you!" to uniformed police after a few Zimas?)

Alas, I picked up the entire unfortunate incident with my tinfoil hat.The words of wisdom from Comrade Reid we difficult to discern due to heavy sluring or poor reception, I can't remember what the deal was.Perhaps the double vodka ration might have affected my judgement. It was definitely bad reception.

Seeing all those folks gathered at the table reminds me of a military word, I have not used for years. The first part is "Cluster" as in "Cluster's last stand".I don't really know what "fork" has to do with all this. But it is one of those!

How about this?:Romney betting Reid $1 million on the claim of no federal income taxes paid for a decade & that Reid would plead guilty to slander — paying a fine & serving time.

Also, release the tax returns in stages & for Barry to release some records.Romney can 1st release, just 2 ½-pages for each tax return, showing name & amount paid (probably several $million each year).

Items for Barry to release:1. College records: transcripts, applications, funding sources & thesis2. SS application & explanation of why Conn. issued it & is a duplicate #3. A physical birth certificateImpossible, Comrade. Most of those items are over 100 million miles away at the moment.

This just In...Overheard in Senate "Warshroom", The senior [citizen] Sinator from NV was caught playing his own version of "Yankee Doodle" or "Yankee Noodle", the audio portion had a lot of interference. [laughter]No mortal authority figure was available.

Harry Reid, whose vicious face-eating attack left his victim with his eyes, nose and mouth chewed off may not have been a cannibal after all.

A state-appointed poopologist has found no human flesh in Reid's feces that were found smeared on the prison cell walls and the grate, as well as flung at correction officers. It was revealed, however, that Reid's stool contained a few undigested pills, along with traces of some hearty borsht and sugar beet vodka.

Reid, who authorities suspect may have been high on a dangerous new street drug known as "bath salts," was naked and had to be tasered four times by a police officer to halt the attack.

Comrades, it seems that our hardworking super Sr. Party members such as our distinguished Senator Reid are swilling more than just beet vodka these days! It's been confirmed that Dear Leaders bro - George has introduced the family drink tradition of CHANG'AA into the inner circle.

"George now spends his time drinking what locals call Chang’aa — a spirit distilled with maize and spiked with chemicals — from the moment he wakes to the moment he slips into unconsciousness.Laced with ethanol, embalming fluid or battery acid to give it more kick, this substance is regularly blamed for causing blindness and death when the criminal syndicates behind the trade mix it wrongly.A glass costs about 10p and, after just five small shots, even hardened drinkers can barely remember their own name. Regular users suffer liver and kidney failure, as well as mental impairment known as ‘wet brain’."

This could explain the Demorats incoherent policies Mr. Reid's recent minor indiscretions. The high pressure & stress of the Peoples Business ™ requires an equally powerful method of release and leave it to an Obama to show the korrect path. According to Media Matters, he has also given other important tips and is rumored to unofficially be the Czar of Chang'aa within the regime administration.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

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