Pee-wee Herman’s Bike Is for Sale on eBay

If you’ve got about $30,000 to waste, and a troubling desire to relive your childhood, then you may be interested in this eBay auction. Someone is selling the amazing bicycle from the classic 1985 movie ‘Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.’ Maybe now you can restore some childhood nostalgia that may have been tainted by Paul Reubens’ adult-theater shenanigans.

That’s right. Some guy woke up one morning and said to himself, “Why the hell do I own this? I’m an adult for God’s sake!” Realizing the world is full of sad people with too much money, he decided to make some space in his house and crowd his wallet with chump cash.

Some assembly is required, as the bike is in a few pieces. But everything seems to be in good condition. (Plus, it’s autographed by Reubens.) In the photos on eBay, the bike still looks as shiny and new as the day it launched Pee-wee to short-lived feature-film stardom.

We can’t tell from the pictures, but we’d bet the lion’s teeth are even still shiny. It doesn’t look like it comes with a comedically long chain, though, so if you’re the lucky bidder, watch out for spoiled rich fat guys in your neighborhood.

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