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There can be few more joyous feelings than that as you stroll along Lewes High Street on a Friday morning knowing that there is a another edition of the Sussex Express available for your perusal. This is the weekly rag in this part of the world. It is published in Lewes and I guess is the paper for the town and country folk of middle East Sussex. It's tabloid shape and unabashedly local. School plays, fundraisers, event, open gardens and coffe mornings plus the vital news about drainage, planning issues and the affairs of the town and district council are its meat and drink. The letters too have a certain parochial charm and can often be simple down right bigoted. Most are completely ignorant that it isn't the 1950s anymore. The trailblazer for the Sussex Express is the King of Local Hacks John Eccles who can be found in the pubs of Lewes supping on his cider listening to the gossip of the town. However, it is not the incisive analysis of planning aplications, nor the important opinions on local politics but the headlines that the Sussex Express sometimes seems fit to print that make it a gem. It is its celebration of banality that is the source of my affection for this rag. My friends and I have become keen collectors of Sussex Express Headlines for exactly this reason. The headlines that have appeared in the Sussex Express over the years are the stuff of genius. I have endeavoured to give you a few of the best from over the years I have been a reader: "Man in Wrong Sex Skittles Rumpus" This worrying tale told of a scandal in the annual skittles contest held annually in The Grange in Lewes centred around the scandal of a man participating in the woman's team. This story was the front page headline. "Cat found Trapped in Dashboard" Firefighters rushed to the rescue of this trapped mog caught up in a hideous car interior nightmare. "Pensioner's I nsult on Bus" Yup, that's right. An elderly lady may have been the recipient of a slightly rude word from a bus driver. But was it worth the front page and more coverage inside? All these are genuine. Get your mits on a copy and prepar to weep with laughter.