For Americans, in Germany I have found the answer, the thing that will finally persuade the mainstream American jockocracy that soccer is worth the while of the beer-loving, SUV-driving stereotypical sportsman:The Klokicker.

It is a urinal sieve that lets a man score goals while he pees. At last, a soccer-related product that Steelers fans -- the men, at least -- can relate to. Pass the Iron!