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Author
Topic: New to the forums (Read 6507 times)

I basically just wanted to introduce myself here and also get some feedback. I tested positve in late November 2002 (though I'm sure I was infected betweeen 1994/1995). Recently got my lab tests - <50 vl, 248 CD4 - which is relatively good, though I've been fighting a sinus infection. I'm also in recovery from alcoholism (just over 8 months sober!) and I quit smoking 2 weeks ago. I have wanted to take some action to take care of myself, so quitting those two things were at the top of my list.

With all the "Aids At 25" stuff in the media I've been obsessing about it, though, reading the CDC's MMWRs of those first few cases, the media's crappy coverage back then, the way this disease turned into a political game for some.

On the one hand, I'm extremely grateful I have the ability to get my meds and that I don't have to take but 2 a day (Sustive/Truvada). A big deal when I think about my friend who died in '94 and all the pills he had to take. And I have been reading about the horrible first years of the epidemic and how far we've come. On the other hand, I can't help feeling 'tainted' or 'damaged'. I know it's just a mind-trick, but sometimes it gets me down. I guess I just needed to reach out to others who know the feelings I'm feeling and to get some encouragement. Recently the fear of being positive has resurfaced and I need help dealing with it. Not only for the biological aspect of being positive, but the social aspects as well (will I ever find love again? I know, it's silly). And out here in the West (I live in Phoenix) it seems that people's attitudes are still stuck in the '80s - I'm originally from Atlanta and the East Coast seems to have a different attitude, more compassionate (maybe it's just me).

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent - I hope to get to know some of you here!

Welcome to the forums!!! Vent away, that's what the forums are here for (among other things). We all get down sometimes. You'd probably be human not to feel that way. But it's good to rely on friends and loved ones to help pull you through those feelings (and professional help when necessary).

Hey Chris...WELCOME TO THE FAMILY.Indeed things have changed over the past 25 years....and your feelings of being tainted are normal for us poz folks. Depression runs very high in HIV positive people and I dare say the impact it has on our lives makes it a challenge for us all. There's nothing silly about our love lives. It's an intrical part of our existence and in my opinion a very necessary one. But whether you're in Phoenix or Mobile Alabama or anywhere around the world the search for a partner/ soul mate can be a much more difficult task when you're HIV+. Personally I take it one day at a time. I lost my partner a year and a half ago but being a hopeless romantic, I often find myself hoping I'll meet some else. I believe it's important to maintain a positive attitude toward all things in life but sometimes that's a tall order. Again Welcome to the family and I think you'll find this place as supportive and educational as I have.......

Congratulations on the eight months of sobriety, and the two weeks of stopping smoking. I was fortunate to be just entering recovery at the same time I was diagnosed, and find a lot of the things I learned there of equal help in living with HIV.

Wow! Thanks very much to all of you for the warm welcome! Getting rid of the illusion of "alone-ness", which I know that is what it is, an illusion, makes a big difference. It still feels awful, though. A few of the people I know who are poz don't seem to want to talk too much about it.

I don't know if this is healthly for me or not, but I just checked out "And The Band Played On" from the library (the book, not the movie) from the library. A lot more details in there than was in the film. In a big way it makes me feel really grateful to be living in the HAART era. My doctor intends on perscribing me the new Sustiva/Truvada combo pill when it becomes available -- that's a long way from all those pills I've seen friends in my past take.

I do have a couple of questions, though. First, is there anything nutrion-wise I can do to increase my CD4 count? Or should I not worry about it? When I tested in November 2002 I had 34 (what I believe is termed my baseline), now I'm at 248. Second, I bought a bottle of OTC vitamins, Walgreens' version of centrum, I guess, but I seem to not do well on them. Every time I start to take them I feel like I'm getting sick. I hope it's not just hypochondria!

I just wanted to join the rest of the gang in saying Hi and welcome to the family.I was diagnosed in April 2002 and found this wonderful place in May 2003 and have been here ever since..you will find information, friendships and the best support here..with the occasional arguments you normally get with families.. Look forward to getting to know you..stay in touch.

I used to be a desert rat too...but had to escape to cooler temps! Congrats on the sobriety and the stopping smoking. I think you'll find many people here that can help you with some of your questions. Glad you were able to make it here.

Hi Chris,Welcome to the forums. Pull up a chair, and get comfy. This is THE best place on the web to be if you're HIV+.

Now, about that multi-vitamin..... I still get a little nauseated when I take it in the morning, on an empty stomach. You might want to try waiting til after you've had lunch before taking it. That has been a failsafe for me.

Hope to get to know you better.

Lisa(weasel guardian)

Logged

No Fear No Shame No StigmaHappiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Hi Chris, welcome to the forums, you have found a great buch of people here, i joined this last Feb but have been poz since 1988 and started on meds in 1997.Glad you found this place the people will help you thru almost anything you are going thru.hope to get to know you better.