BAFTA Red Hot Mess: Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone and Madonna are both 50. I’d say Sharon’s work is less… jarring…than Madge’s? She really does look great. Wears that dress beautifully. Face has been enhanced but not alarmingly so. Very Demi Moore.

But as we all know, Sharon Stone is f-cking crazy. Thankfully she didn’t dial down the crazy for the BAFTAs either. On the carpet she kept on about the rain in that Basic-Instinct-was-15-years-ago-and-your-sex-voice-is-old way that she’s been overkilling for much too long - something about being a girl who likes the rain, and I swear she was about to offend Chinese people again but somehow she managed to hold some back… only to save it for the stage during her presentation. The beginning was all good, by the end she had forgotten why she was there in the first place. I could have watched that bitch all night. Except then along came Goldie…

Oh and by the way, if you’re wondering why they invited Sharon Stone – for some reason, across the Atlantic, not only England in but all over Europe, Sharon is still really famous.