Saturday, August 08, 2009

Event Museum Rules

There are those who would ask: Why do these museum employees write in the third person? What happened to the first person? Was foul play involved?

By contract, the museum staff is required to use the third person at all times as this facilitates the concept of having sheep for brains. As part of the museum's public relations campaign, a short film on personnel recruitment has been made available to the concerned community:

As primary job requirement, all employees need to have previously existed as Tim the Enchanter (interested parties may take the FB Test to find out if they are Event Museum material). When it doubt while searching for the washroom, the public is advised to address a museum employee as O Tim. Codeword for the washroom is The Holy Grail.

A selection of 39 safety procedures required when reading and/or writing poetry—a prison pass, self-extinction, improved room acoustics—from this prominent 14th PDF collection, most never before exhibited outside the North Pole. Some collaborations (with Valerie Fox) are featured due to the complex nature of condoms.

6 comments:

Dear Arlene, I enjoy your new more "impersonal" style in this blog, in particular "Contrary Hall".I must say though that I feel a bit of nostalgia for your previous style which was "warmer".I hope you are enjoying the summer. I am boiling in my room and recovering slowly from a tremendous gout attack which started in June and reached its peak in the mountains where I limped my life away dragging my throbbing foot around as an iron ball chained to my ankle like in a cartoon of a labour camp.

I enjoyed some great fiction in the meantime, the collection of stories "Dear Husband" by Joyce Carol Oates and the superb long poem "Dart" by Alice Oswald.

About Me

Arlene Ang is the author of "The Desecration of Doves" (2005), "Secret Love Poems" (Rubicon Press, 2007), and a collaborative book with Valerie Fox, "Bundles of Letters Including A, V and Epsilon" (Texture Press, 2008). Her third full-length collection, "Seeing Birds in Church is a Kind of Adieu" was published by Cinnamon Press in 2010. Her poems have appeared in Ambit, Caketrain, Diagram, Poetry Ireland, Poet Lore, Rattle, Salt Hill as well as the Best of the Web anthologies 2008 and 2009 (Dzanc Books). She lives in Spinea, Italy where she serves as staff editor for The Pedestal Magazine and Press 1. Website: www.leafscape.org