Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Quite Possibly the Most Important News Ever

How many times my day has been ruined by that sinking realization, that I was too late, they had stopped serving breakfast, the Egg McMuffin, the only breakfast that would provide me complete, 100 percent satisfaction at that moment, was now beyond my reach—until tomorrow. I will no longer have to suffer such crushing dismay. Imagine, being able to get my Egg McMuffin for breakfast, lunch, dinner, late night snack, and in-between. Why did it take McDonald's more than the 270 years that I think I heard to make this true? Yes, I bet you didn't know that it was actually the Egg McMuffin that fueled the Continental Army during their long war of independence against the British, and helped the North defeat the South, and helped Western Civilization prevail against the Nazi.