British Chef Creates 28 Lb. Sandwich Featuring 35 Meats

According to Geekologie, British chef Tristan Welch created a 28-lb. sandwich featuring 35 different varieties of meat! That’s not a sandwich. That’s a meatwich, designed expressly for the non-discerning carnivore. In addition to being an affront to vegans -but who cares about those brittle-boned herbivores?- it also begs a lot of questions.

First, how the hell do you cut that thing in order to, uh, enjoy a hunk? That’s to say nothing of how quickly you’ll hit the toilet after consuming a portion of it. Also, there’s no room for condiments. What about the mayo or mustard or oil, vinegar and oregano?