Monday, 22 September 2014

Chicken fluff stubble head

If you read my recent ranty post you’ll know that my hair
had started to fall out. It was coming out at such a rate that when I went for
my second chemotherapy treatment on Tuesday last week, the nurses told me not
to bother with the cold cap again as I would only be putting myself through
pain for no reason. The hair was making a run for it like a commitment-phobic boyfriend
and nothing was bringing it back (at present). I cried about it in the middle of the ward as
the day had already been a bit shitty but to be honest I also felt a bit of a
sense of relief. The cold cap was so painful the first time that I really had
been dreading it and at least the time spent in the chemo ward would be cut
down – only the toxic chemicals to be pumped in to my veins this time and not a
four hour brain freeze to go with it.

In a funny way it also relieved some of the hair anxiety.
Now I knew that it would be going. All of it. No worry about how much was
coming out on my pillow or finding it on the floor or in my food. So I made the
decision to have my head shaved the next day. I rang the lovely Naomi at
Trendco who asked me to come in the same day. Scary, but no point putting it
off. The hair was going; it was just a matter of time. At least this way I
could take a bit of control back over my own body – I would make the decision
when the hair left my head and not the other way round.

I went in to Trendco in my wig and left in the wig. The difference
was when I left was I only had patchy plucked chicken like stubble left under there instead of
patchy longer bits of hair. It looked so bad when Naomi took the wig and cap
off that I was desperate for her to get rid of it. I now have a
very sexy chicken fluff stubble head. The stubble is about half an inch long
and patchy with shiny head showing through so I can’t even go out and try and rock the bald headed stubble
Jessie J look. I bought a sleep turban to wear in the house so that I don’t
scare myself – or other people for that matter! However I have found it strangely
liberating and it sounds like a cliché but it did make me feel I had regained a
certain amount of control in the midst of one I have very, very little over.

It
also very low maintenance – no shampoo and conditioner needed! The stubble is coming
out thick and fast so I reckon it’ll be shiny bald soon but I’m getting used
it. I’ve taken my chicken fluff stubble head out for a run a couple of times
wearing a cap but the rest of the time I’m wearing a wig. I have another new
one. She’s called Suki and she’s a beaut. It also makes getting ready time a
lot shorter. A quick head wash, bit of make up, stick my hair on and I’m ready
to go. Wearing a wig isn't the most comfortable of things however. I have to resist the urge to take it off and give my head a rub when I'm out and about. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'keeping your hair on.....'.