This staying up v.s. getting pulled down is a struggle. Such a struggle, it likely burns many calories.

I am a happy, positive person almost to the point of the ridiculous at times-my accountant, broker, hairdresser, banker and even at one point years ago, therapist, may have all had good reason to argue why I should not feel as good as I do about myself and my place in the world – but I just do. I must.

Part of my fear is saying anything else about who I am makes me into whatever I say. If I say to myself I am of ugly heart, broken and unworthy, I will be. And the opposite works too.