Saturday, 25 August 2012

My Thoughts: My friends are my estate.

Certainly the last few days have
highlighted to me the importance having a good friend especially
those who are loyal to you who stand by you no matter what and are
there for you.

I recently got back in touch with a
friend after over a year without contact (which is my fault but they
don't hold it against me)

Having struggled with this
I turned to this friend and said I feared a depressive episode if my
mood did not pick up soon, I showed them this post and said this was
likely the trigger. They told me what I needed to hear and did so in
a such way which was honest but not harsh, helpful not dismissive and
gave me genuine hope not false hope where if I make the effort it
will turn out okay.

It is something of a step
for me to reach out and say to someone I was struggling with
something thus things were not good for me. Usually I don't I tend to
slog on alone despite me saying to others who are struggling they
ought to enlist the help of those who care about them (making me a
hypocrite).

Why don't I take my own
advice? From past experiences more often than not it seemed easier to
cope alone for varying reasons the main ones being either the people
you know are not supportive or you feel like a burden to those who
are supportive (“they got problems of their own they don't need me
bringing mine to them” a particular train of thought for me) and of
course its easier to give out advice/suggestions as well offering
others support as a way of forgetting about yourself for the time
being.

At first I pondered about
even talking to this friend as we only just got back in touch I
partly felt it would be inappropriate to do so however they did tell
me in no uncertain terms they are here for me if I need them...and I
did need someone so I took the opportunity.

Thanks to this friend my
mood has lifted and the potential episode is gone knowing I have this
person back in my life gives me some reassurance for whatever
episodes may occur in the future (winter in particular I’m not
dreading for the first time in...well...ever...as depression usually
regards my mind as something of a winter retreat).

So now its just the minor
matter of not sabotaging this friendship, something I did before.