Aaron Gouveia and his wife were already having the worst day of their lives. Then they encountered the abortion protesters.

That’s what they yelled at me and my wife on the worst day of our lives. As we entered the women’s health center on an otherwise perfect summer morning in Brookline, two women we had never met decided to pile onto the nightmare we had been living for three weeks. These “Christians” verbally accosted us—judged us—as we steeled ourselves for the horror of making the unimaginable, but necessary, decision to end our pregnancy at 16 weeks.

After extensive testing at a renowned Boston hospital three weeks earlier, we were told our baby had Sirenomelia. Otherwise known as Mermaid Syndrome, it’s a rare (one in every 100,000 pregnancies) congenital deformity in which the legs are fused together. Worse than that, our baby had no bladder or kidneys. Our doctors told us there was zero chance for survival.

I’m not a religious person and I’ve never believed in heaven or hell. But there is a hell on Earth. Hell is sitting next to the person you love most and listening to her wail hysterically because her heart just broke into a million pieces. Hell is watching her entire body convulse with sobs because she’s being tortured with grief. For as long as I live and no matter how many children we have, I will never forget that sound. And I vowed to do everything in my power to make sure she’d never make it again.

Across a crowded street, two people with “God Is Pro-Life!” signs and pictures of torn-up fetuses managed to drive the blade in even deeper. Again, I was left trying to console the inconsolable, feeling even more helpless this time, because I wasn’t allowed into surgery with her.

Running on pure adrenaline, and without even a hint of a plan, I grabbed my cell phone and crossed the street. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, I just knew I wanted to make public the cowardice of these protesters.

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I learned a few important things from this encounter. First, these people aren’t used to being confronted. They prey on the weak and they pounce on the wounded. It’s easy to berate people and shame them when they’re too beaten down to fight back. But I chose to do just that, and you can see what happened.

They spout the same tired rhetoric passed out at rallies and subway stations. They don’t have one salient response to any of my questions.

The most telling thing about their cowardice is when the woman on the right gets upset that I’m recording the conversation (which is perfectly legal) and then threatens to call the police. The irony is rich. She wanted to call the police because I was peacefully expressing my opinion on a public sidewalk and exercising my First Amendment rights, which is exactly what she was doing. But I’m not on “God’s side,” am I.

She also claims the women at the clinic are suicide risks. Even if she believed that were true, does she really think yelling at them and shaming them in public is going to encourage these women not to kill themselves?

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After I took a walk and calmed down, it was time to pick up my wife and go home. When we pulled out of the clinic, the protesters were gone, and a police cruiser was parked nearby with the lights flashing. My wife, still groggy from the surgery, managed to crack a little smile, and asked, “What did you do?”

I have no idea if it was my interaction with the protesters that got them to leave. I doubt it was, but my wife was convinced that was the case. At first, I didn’t think of it as a big deal, and I actually felt a little foolish for getting so heated.

My wife, suddenly serious, pointed out a women entering the clinic. Within minutes, she said, that woman would be making a serious choice. Whether she kept her baby or not, it didn’t matter—what matters is that she can make the decision that’s right for her. And she can make it without people screaming at her.

My wife and I wanted our second child. We loved her. We even had a name for her, Alexandra.

You never know the circumstances surrounding this kind of decision. Consider this my plea: stop terrorizing women. Stop adding trauma to their trauma. If you’re able, stand up to these bullies in nonviolent ways. Speak out. And if you have a camera, use it.—RSVP to join weekly calls on Conscious Intersectionality

—Aaron Gouveia is a regular contributor to The Good Men Project Magazine.

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About Aaron Gouveia

Aaron is husband to a woman far too beautiful to have married him, and father of two sons far too perfect to be his. After nearly a decade as a Boston-area journalist, he decided to actually get paid and became a content manager. When he's not griping about his beloved Boston sports teams, he's detailing life as a dad at The Daddy Files. You can follow him on Twitter (@DaddyFiles) and Facebook.

I’m thrilled you stood up for yourself and your wife!! These people are so out of touch with reality it is disgusting. A family member had a similar experience when visiting her ob/gyn while pregnant with no insurance coverage. This particular dr also performed abortions along with prenatal care and delivery. So when my family member would go to her regular visits, she would get screamed at, cursed, told how horrible she was. All the while she was clearly due anytime. I had to take similar steps as you and call these freaks out. They too couldn’t possibly spout anything… Read more »

Thank you for doing somthing for your wife in such a situation. It is people like you by standing up for women who may not have a choice they would make if the baby was healthy or she is in a situation where she can care for it that child, thank you so very much.

I am one of the lucky ones to have only encountered peaceful protesters on the day I went to have my abortion. I am still in shock and don’t know how I would have felt if I had someone in my face on that day. Your wife is very lucky to have a person like you to stand up for her when she needed it most. On behalf of others in the situation I was in two weeks ago THANK YOU!

Thanks for being one of the good guys! That was very courageous of you, and an excellent way to deal with your frustrations. Thanks for being strong enough to say what needed said, and to help the other women coming to the clinic that day. You’re a good man, and your wife is a very lucky woman.

Family planning clinics are not only for abortion; they offer free or low cost care to women. They are not there to convince a woman to have an abortion, but to give her the best information so she can make an educated decision.
I hate when this protesters go on shaming women without knowing their situation. I also wonder how many children they help after they “save” them. if you want to save a child, go volunteer in your local boys and girls club; become a good foster parent etc. these children need more saving and opportunities than a embrio.

You should also understand that this was not an unplanned baby. They wanted it very much, and only chose to abort it due to the fact that it was not going to survive because of missing kidneys and a bladder. You can believe whatever you want about abortion but at least try to understand a situation like this before you state your own opinion please. For all you know you may very well come across another situation that isn’t the same as yours.

Good for you for standing up to these cowardly and vile people!! I am so sorry you and your wife had to endure such harassment during an already stressful and heartbreaking time. I’m glad you spoke out, recorded, and are sharing this.

I am sorry for you loss, however, your case is one of the rare ones where an abortion actually is justified. Those protesters weren’t there for you, they were there for those that think that they can have sex, conceive a baby, and then simply kill it because they are old enough to have sex but not grown up enough to be parents, and never will be because they avoid the challenges or responsibility.

Yes but the problem there Ron is that they have no idea of anyone’s story as they are walking in. Is the baby going to die because it is missing it’s lungs/ brain/ liver etc…., was the mother violently raped??? They have no idea. They just yell hateful things at ANYONE entering the clinic without trying to talk to them or help them at all. Also, why should any child be made to see pictures of chopped up babies held up by these people in front of a MALL!!?? I should not have had to explain to my then 3… Read more »

Oh Gosh I am so sorry that you were treated in this way, I am a Christian and where you should have been treated with love and compassion and mercy you were not, I am sorry. I’m sorry that I share the same faith as these ladies, I am so sorry for your deep loss and unimaginable pain, I am sorry that you had to experience this awful situation made worse by unthoughtful uncaring people and I wish I could show you the true compassion of the God I choose to believe in. Please believe that not all Christians believe… Read more »

I agree with Joeybear! I’m also a Christian and I’m very shocked that people calling themselves Christians would treat you and your wife this way. I’m very sorry for your loss and it is unbelievable you and your wife would have to endure this!

There is also the choice to allow this baby to live inside you while it can – love it and say goodbye when nature decides the time is right, rather than suction the baby out piece by piece. The Father to a “perfect son” and now an imperfect, dead daughter – by their choice because they decided allowing her to live in her mother’s womb was too torturous to allow because of the pain of knowing she would die – so, lets get it over with, right? I also find it laughable when people say abortion is a choice –… Read more »

I think you did what was right and everyone should peacefully confront these cowards who also often support an organisation that has a terrible record on child abuse. They pick on vulnerable woman and should be harassed as they harass others.

I will preface my story but stating right off the bat that I am staunchly pro-choice and will always defend someone else’s right to an abortion whether for medical reasons or personal choice. Now, to my story… Aaron, I have watched your video and read your story and think it is amazing. Good for you for standing up to them. I myself have lost 2 (wanted) babies because of chromosomal abnormalities and so I know first hand how devastating that can be. I had my D&Cs in a hospital and so didn’t have to deal with protesters (thank goodness). However,… Read more »

SO MANY Post “A” healing programs around the country….with a large VARIETY of groups. There’s such a Demand….. there is healing… groups such as “Silentnomoreawareness.org” is just one of so many resources.
My comment. Not in show: “Choice” is NOT deciding if someone younger then you, just as likely smarter, more gifted then u as a member of society, should LIVE or DIE.

Coleen: Were you aware that in this particular case the fetus had no bladder no kidneys and no anus? The fact of the matter is that you cannot live without kidneys and a bladder. It was clear from knowing this that if the Gouveias had allowed the pregnancy to continue than Mrs. Gouveia’s health would have been put at risk. The fact that you implied the fetus would be “just as likely smarter and more gifted…as a member of society,” while ignoring the fact that the fetus was missing vital organs necessary for life only shows that you clearly did… Read more »

Oh. My. Thank you so much for sharing this personal story. This was incredible. Amazing! Seriously, this is the kind of thing I have been trying desperately to tell all the people who vehemently protest and judge people for abortion. That you don’t know what being in their shoes is like, and that we as Christians, or heck, just as *people* should be exercising *love* and not judgement. Women who abort are not monsters and we have got to *stop* treating them as if they are, which is exactly what the protesters in your video were doing — . No.… Read more »