North Star prepares to entertain Fredericton again

Fredericton — The North Star Sports Bar is gearing up to reopen in summer 2015 with a new location in the quickly developing Devon community. Plans started early 2014 after the City of Fredericton agreed to sell a piece of land to the club for $1 plus HST. Part of the agreement includes offering city employees a special Wednesday “buy one get one” deal.

The city hopes the bar’s reopening will help pump more revenue into the community and boost the productivity of Fredericton’s work force. “Morale is an important part of any company,” said one heavy-breathing traffic sign holder working near the new location. “After Costco, this was the one thing our city was missing.”

A representative of the North Star commented that they have already posted job openings on Kijiji and have been able to gather some great talent. “The new bar is going to be bigger and better than ever! It’s going to have an army of brand-new video lottery terminals, the biggest buffet in the city, and even a Sunday brunch buffet so you can bring the family,” states the ad, which has already been visited by more than 60,000 people.

Another big draw will be its amateur night: folks will have the opportunity to come in and try their hand at the art of pole dancing. The club has even agreed to let patrons keep whatever they catch along with a free new-to-them T-shirt.

Mercedes, a veteran from the former sports bar, has signed a contract to return to her pole. She was a local favourite best known for her creative routines and exotic costumes, and she’s excited to get back to doing what she loves and serving the community where she was raised. “It’s going to be great working in my home town again. I’ve been travelling east to Moncton all this time working 3 weeks on and 1 week off and their Tims never tastes right,” she said.

There are even rumours afloat that the new bar will see the introduction of “Magic Mike” nights, as a way of drawing in eager female customers to the once male-dominated clientele. Members of the Fredericton community are also highly anticipating the return of Destinee, the legendary one-legged stripper.

Just what the Northside needs, more trash. As if the Northside isn’t polluted enough with drunks and whores. This place will never be the same as it was when Kenny owned it and I think it should be laid to rest with him.

I’m not spending my hard earned Costco savings there. Well, unless they offer up a foot long hotdog and a pop for $1.49. Yep, if they can beat Costco on that, then I don’t care if Magic Mike or Mercedes serves it to me or not – I’ll be there!

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