Troubled actor Charlie Sheen called into the Dan Patrick Show today to discuss his life currently (he's "clean across the board,") what he told the UCLA Bruins baseball team ("stay away from the crack...unless you can manage it socially"), and whether he thinks he's more valuable to CBS than star first baseman Albert Pujols is to the St. Louis Cardinals.

Sheen spoke at a breakneck pace throughout the interview, and by the time it was over, host Dan Patrick seemed a bit rattled, too.

"I'm sweating because I didn't know where that was going," Patrick said.

The interview started innocently enough, as Sheen and Patrick talked baseball. Patrick noted afterwards that he was able to get the interview by billing it as being centered around baseball, and he shied away from asking too much about Sheen's chaotic personal life. Sheen, the highest paid actor in television, saw his show put on hiatus after he was forced to enter rehab.

Sheen, however, found plenty of opportunity to bring up non-baseball anecdotes. On the subject of crack-smoking, Sheen says he told the UCLA Bruins baseball team (whom he gave a speech to), that they should stay away from the stuff. Patrick then asked him if he "thought he could (stay away from crack)?"

"Yeah, but that kind of blew up in my face," Sheen said.

Sheen also said he donated $10,000 to the UCLA baseball team. He described the nervousness he felt taking batting practice in front of major leaguers Milton Bradley, Coco Crisp, Mike Stanton, and Chase Utley ("Holy crap, I gotta hit in front of these guys."). Also, Lenny Dykstra is a frequent guest at his house. So there's that.

Sheen apparently hasn't been to the new Yankee Stadium, but was hesitant to go back to New York, seeing as how, you know, he went on a drug-fueled rampage the last time he was there. When host Dan Patrick offered to let Sheen stay at his house, the actor told Patrick that he'd be willing to give Patrick's kids a "don't smoke crack" speech similar to the one he gave the UCLA baseball team.