The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
– Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
– Janette Barber

Who ever thought up the word “Mammogram”? Every time I hear
it, I think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope
and send it to someone.
– Jan King

A few weeks after my [breast cancer] surgery, I went out
to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over
to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched
it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling
“Hey, come back here with my breast!”
– Linda Ellerbee

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
– Lily Tomlin

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy
and being a woman? It’s plucking your eyebrows. That’s
how I originally got pierced ears.
– Geri Jewell

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never
owned a car.
– Carrie Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry
with your girlfriends.
– Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first is
hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
– Erma Bombeck

Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
– Bette Davis

A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.
A woman must do what he can’t.
– Rhonda Hansome

The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
– Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through
the windows.
– Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to
be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
– Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and
your body starts falling apart.
– Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days
attack me at once.
– Jennifer Unlimited

If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to
serve as a horrible warning.
– Catherine Aird

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids
for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing
loss… and they called ME slow!
– Kathy Buckley