I don't comment on the 'my kid made cookies for the garbage men' type posts because I honestly have nothing remotely good to say about them, therefore I keep my mouth shut and fuck off out of the thread. However this kid and your comment really fucking moved me.

Something about his expressionless, silent concern moves me more than if he were smiling, or making eye contact and grinning with someone. It tells me that what he's doing he expects nothing in return for at all. He was presented with a moment to perform a kindness for someone else, and he did so, barely even thinking about what he was doing, until himself or the lady got off the train. Then he probably just forgot about it and went on with his day. Something about how much of a non-event this seemed to be to him is what makes it more special, and I'm happy it was caught on camera because it's really worth seeing. It's real, you know? It's the most real moment I've seen in a while.

for me if i do something others consider good, i do it unfeelingly and its just about efficiency. old woman needs to open a heavy door? it makes sense for me to open it because i can use energy more efficiently therefore for her to open it would be a waste of energy compared to if i did it. is that like, neutral good?

I would say that's still a good deed. If it were some giant meat head your holding the door for it's a slight convenience for him at best. Your logic still seems like it's based off reducing stress for other people which is good in my book.

I just want to share something with you because what you said really resonates with me.

I'm a social worker and have been for a handful of years. Whenever people find out what I do, they always give me a bit of a "jerk" by praising me so I always respond jokingly or blow it off. Because I don't do the job for that social praise, but because at my core I believe in serving others.

This right here is the core of what I aspire to do/be and what constantly plagues my thoughts: I want to be someone who truly does the work because of serving others without thought to external validation. And when I do do good, what am I doing it for? Are people noticing me? Do I do these things in my life?

I have nothing but appreciation and admiration for the social workers who help me on a daily basis in my work in the hospital. You guys often have the hardest conversations and truly make a difference in the lives of our patients. If only your salaries reflected the true value to the team!

That’s because “acting good” and wanting kudos is what the dopamine machine of internet is creating. Obviously it’s called virtue signaling, but it’s also creating people who do no good behind closed doors because “why bother?”. This post exemplifies what is actually virtue.

There are three types of empathy, sounds like you excel at emotional and compassionate empathy but need to work on cognitive empathy, im the opposite, suck at emotional and compassionate empathy but im all up with cognitive empathy.

People in a lot of Asian countries have a different view of the elderly than the west. They take care of them, they keep them in the family home and don't put them in care homes, they wait for them to start every meal first, etc. Western countries have a disrespectful view of elderly people. That said, I think this guy probably would have done it to help anyone.

That isn’t a simple Western country vs Asian country thing. I’m American but my family/culture is Guyanese (also not Asian) and in our culture you also are supposed to have your elderly parents move in with you so you can take care of them. Same goes for all my Hispanic friends (living in America with Hispanic parents/culture), African friends, etc etc.

latina who grew up in southeast asia; can confirm that caring for your elderly isn’t an asian thing — it’s a non-american thing. it’s shocking to me the way my american relatives treat/speak about our grandparents vs the way my argentine/chilean ones do.

It's just a different view of family. Western society focuses on the nuclear family - your familial unit is the parents and dependent kids. Once the kids are old enough, they're expected to become independent, move out, and start their own family unit. It's understood that the kids now have their own household, so caring for their parents is more of a good deed than a responsibility (hopefully the parents saved up to look after themselves in retirement).

Many non-Western cultures (most Asian cultures, Hispanic cultures) view the extended family as the family unit. Your kids don't necessarily move out when they become adults - they might get married and have kids while still living in the same home. You end up with a multi-generational home with many aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. living together. Since all these people are part of the household, the working-age adults are responsible for providing for all of them.

My Latina wife straight up told me when we got married that her parents were going to move in with us when they couldn't take care of themselves anymore. This was non-negotiable. Thank God they still have their faculties.

it’s shocking to me the way my american relatives treat/speak about our grandparents vs the way my argentine/chilean ones do.

After I came out as gay to my grandma she never said a single nice thing about me after. In fact some of the things she said to me were downright abusive. But my mother always protected her cause "we take care of our elders."

yeah this whole conversation needs a caveat that being old doesn’t automatically make you deserving of respect. you don’t deserve a medal for simply having survived longer than the rest of us if you’re an unkind bitter asshole to everyone around you. i know plenty of people disagree with that sentiment. blind respect of sexist/racist elderly folk def seems like something that’s been phasing out with millennial/post-millennial generations though.

also, as someone who’d never be able to come out to my grandparents (or even my parents probably), i’m really sorry you had to deal with that kind of vitriol and rejection. ♥️

The Hispanic thing is soooo true. Some of the American girls I've dated don't get that my mom and dad's investment was me and my sister. I WANT to take care of them when they are older. I WILL take care of them when they are older. It's really my only major deal breaker.

Hi fellow Guyanese! I had to explain this concept to the guy I was dating. It is an expectation of me to take care of my parents as they age. He (an American) wasn’t excited by the idea of living with extended family. I couldn’t imagine not doing it. Every time I go home it’s sad to see how much older and smaller they’ve gotten.

Growing up as a first-generation child to immigrant parents, this is probably the most polarizing difference. The family doesn't forget the wisdom, experience, and lifetime of hard work our previous generations possess. Hell, my college debt repayment plan is literally putting money back into my parents' retirement.

In the West, it seems that the people are valued based on how much economic contribution they have. In some ways, it feels like our elderly and retired are treated similarly to those unemployed - people think no job = no contribution and have a similar dismissive attitude.

One New year's Eve, I get this text message from a random number saying, "Happy New Year's! Love Grandma!". It was addressed to some other person. Clearly this grandma got the number wrong. I replied telling her that she had the wrong number but I also wished her a happy new year. She replied apologizing but also saying thanks for the wishes. It was adorable.

Also, some people literally have no close relatives, either. I helped this one guy who was my mother's godfather. He had no one closer than me to help him, and he was having trouble caring for his dog, so I took her in. It turned into a relationship where I'd go see him a couple of times a week (with his dog), and help him with taking him shopping, to the hospital, and doing some gardening and stuff.

It ended up with me going round most days, and him slowly dying of myelofibrosis. He had nursing care later on too - I would absolutely not have been able to manage without that.

edit : I learnt loads from him, both when we were younger, and later when I was spending more time with him. One of the things I especially learnt was that dying and getting old fucking sucks. He was obviously bitter about it, but never took it out on the people around him, or went on about it that much. He'd knocked down a 6 foot concrete reinforced post and cut through the steel with a hacksaw when he was 87, I think he just assumed he'd be able to do the same when he was 88.

Vicky (his dog, the lab) has since been adopted by me... by the time he died, she'd turned into a vaguely normal dog. Early on she was proper unmanageable. She chewed through a seatbelt in the car in the time I left her to put something in the boot (like 20 seconds), and now she gets on with the cats, horses, and chickens well enough. She loves my nephew too, and he loves her, which is such a gift.

edit : love how about the only thing not in focus in that photo is here tail... that about sums her up.

That is so beautiful that you made him feel loved in the last part of his life. I lost my grandma 6 years ago and I was volunteering at the nursing home my mom worked at after she passed. My gram had also been in that nursing home so a lot of the residents knew her and when they found out she was my grandma took right to me. There was this one woman though, Maddie, it seemed like we really had a deep connection and one day she said it's ok I'll be your replacement grandma. We both laughed about it but over the next could years we had so much fun when I was there to volunteer. Well I think 2 years ago she passed away. I haven't been able to go back to volunteering ever since. I'm just so glad I could help make her last years a little more happy. She didn't really have family just a few friends that came now and then. It is so important to share our love with others young or old. It would be a lot happier world if we did so...

lost mine last year. not a day goes by that i don’t miss her. i forget she’s even gone and relive the heartbreak when i realize that i can’t call her up. anyone with a living grandmother: call your grandma while she’s still here. (if she’s not a total jerk like my other one who is still living)

Man I just went on a lunch date with my Grandma today, she's been having a tough time mostly house stricken because she's on oxygen but she loves to shop, so I loaded up her oxygen tanks, and rolled out her wheelchair and off we went. It was great and really brightened her mood. She's a wonderful strong women and I love her. Moral of my story: don't just call, take her out if you can, she'll appreciate it so much!

I had the same with my Grandma dude, it’s terrible. She remembered my girlfriend who she obviously hasn’t know her whole life, but forgot me.

However, I was present when she took her last breath. I held her hand, she held mine. Her tiny, frail fingers wrapped around my huge palm and she gripped hold of me harder than anything ever could, harder than she had ever done before. She couldn’t talk and was to weak to open her eyes, but I kept talking to her. She knew it was my hand, she knew I was there.

Not only is he doing a kind thing but it shows a level of social awareness as well as critical thinking to not only do that while trying to maintain his own position(not bumping others, and gripping the upper rail not to jolt too much), but also thinking to place his hand in an inconspicuous manner to protect the person without disrupting any social norms or stand out awkwardly for doing it.

I find this to be very admirable, and I'm so happy to see his thoughtfulness is being rewarded on the front page.

It's the polite thing to do on the train because it will bump into to people if you keep it on your back. Only like half of people in the US take theirs off or put it forward. I feel like a lot of people aren't taught train etiquette. It's like those oblivious people who stand on the left side of escalators.

I don't have much experience with trains and busses, since I've lived in small towns without public transit most of my life. Turning my backpack around never would have occured to me. I'll try to remember this if I ever have a chance to ride a train. I'll bet at least some of the folks who don't do this are in the same boat.

It is easy to forget the beauty of this world when all you see is chaos. "If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you". It is our perception of the world that defines us how we will react to things around us.

Interesting though, how many people couldn’t even see what was happening with it right in front of their faces. I’m not bashing them just saying it’s amazing the difference in different people’s observational skills/ habits.

Like some people recognized what this kid was doing right away while others couldn’t figure it out. I just think that is super interesting.

I recognized it immediately, but I chalk that up to experience with toddlers. If a toddler is walking around something head level and hard (like the corner of a coffee table), just place your hand on that corner. I guarantee that child will tumble and smack their head right where that corner is hiding, people will think you’re a magician, but children are just fucking stupid.

I instantly knew what was going on because I witness something similar when I was younger.

My mom took us to a guided tour in Guilin, China. I naturally became friends with the only 2 other kids in our tour group. We were in a cavern and got to a very narrow part. We had to walk single file. My friend was in front of me and our tour guide was behind us. Our tour guide immediately stuck his hand between her head and the wall. At first I was confused until I noticed that walls around us were extremely jagged and her head was so close to it. I was absolutely stunned and amazed by his move. She didn't even notice what he just did for her!

I know this will get buried but this memory always stuck with me for so many years. To me it was the most badass kind gesture ever.

"Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love." - Gandalf

Notice the young mans hand in front of the metallic pole so that the elderly woman’s head couldn’t bang against it. He’s keeping her from waking up, as well as stopping her from potentially getting seriously injured!

I’m genuinely fascinated by this. I’d like to see a study done about people who recognize what’s happening in this video right away versus people who it takes several watches. I don’t know why I think it’s so interesting but I do! It’s like the blue or gold dress or soemthing.

If I'm not mistaken, Asian culture values the elderly considerably more than the west. That doesn't mitigate the awesomeness of this gesture, rather lends a little help understanding why it was so non chalant.

There’s something about the way he’s just standing there casually with his hand like that, eyes down at the ground, both of them swaying with the train. It’s like nobody is thinking anything of it, it’s just a natural thing, and so small it’s hard to notice. Yet he looks like he’s very aware of what he’s doing, almost like he’s staring down at a keyboard and typing, or cooking a meal. The whole thing is very endearing.

This small act of kindness was enough to make me reconsider so much. I will not watch another video because I want this tiny gesture to be the last thing I see tonight. Welcome good dreams and happy thoughts.

Took me playing this 3 times to notice he does to this old woman what I have to do to my 1 year old constantly around any and all corners that are head height. Seriously though... this kid is a class act. The type that is kind to people even when apparently no one is watching (obviously someone was because... video. But you get my point). That's true kindness. And rare as hell.

[some believe] it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. — Gandalf, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey