Making "mommyhood" fun and fulfilling as we grow alongside our children.

04/12/2011

Musings of a late night baker and book reader

So, tonight I've been engaging in two of the activities that help me relax:

baking and reading.

I just wrapped up Water for Elephants which was awesome (I can't wait to see the movie!) so I was on the prowl for a new book. After a fun trip to the library with my two year-old (she is getting to be such an enjoyable companion), I found out both of the books I had put on hold were in: The Help and Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I decided to dive into Tiger Mother since I had heard so many heated opinions of the author's parenting approach.

I started a few chapters, mixed up a bowl of cookie dough while continuing to read, and managed to get almost halfway through by the time the cookies finished baking. So far it is an interesting read and I don't think the author is completely heartless and cruel (as she has sometimes been characterized). She basically writes from her perspective as a Chinese-American and her stringent approach to parenting as she attempts to raise successful children. I definitely disagree with many of her methods (yelling and name-calling of your children is definitely not acceptable in my book) and rules (no playdates, TV, slumber parties, or school plays??!)

Here is an interesting excerpt that contains a concept I agree with, " What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work which is why it is crucial to override their preferences." (emphasis mine)

I do agree that things are much more fun when you are good at them and often there is a learning curve to be overcome. I don't, however, completely agree with the second part of this statement, "children on their own never want to work". Yes, as a piano teacher for over 10 years I have definitely seen that most children will not practice on a consistent basis without reminders and help scheduling. But some children have innate passion for music and practice everyday with little reminder. A motivated child is able to work at something for a long time if they perceive it as rewarding and fun. I think the parent's job is to help their child discover their own passion and once they have found it, the parent should guide and encourage them. So, yes, most children (and adults!) are naturally lazy and need reminders and accountability, but too much hounding can kill natural motivation. I guess there's a perfect balance that ever parent is trying to achieve of not forcing their child to do something they don't like, but also not letting their child waste their God-given talents.

And speaking of perfect balance, I have found the perfect chocolate chip cookies recipe....