Mark: I used to know a girl, she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it… beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street.

Johnny: Hahaha. What a story, Mark.

Mark: Yeah, you can say that again.

Lisa: Did you get your promotion?

Johnny: Nah.

Lisa: You didn't get it, did you?

Johnny: That son-of-a-bitch told me I will get it within three months. I saved them bundles. They're crazy. I don't think I'll ever get it. They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me, and I don't care anymore.

Johnny: The bank saves money and they are using me, and I am the fool.

Lisa: I still love you.

Johnny: You're the only one who does.

Steven: When is the baby due?

Lisa: There is no baby.

Steven and Michelle: What?!

Steven: [baffled] Wha—What are you talking about?!

Lisa: I told him that to make it interesting.

Mark: How was work today?

Johnny: Oh pretty good. We got a new client... at the bank. We make a lot of money.

Lisa: He didn't get his promotion. And he got drunk last night... and he hit me.

Claudette: Johnny doesn't drink! What are you talking about?

Claudette: Oh! That jerk, Harold! He wants me to give him a share of my house. That house belongs to me! He has no right! I’m not giving him a penny! Who does he think he is?

Lisa: He's your brother.

Claudette: He is always bugging me about my house. Fifteen years ago, we agreed that house belongs to me. Now the value of the house is going up and he’s seeing dollar signs. Everything goes wrong at once. Nobody wants to help me, and I’m dying.

Lisa: You're not dying, mom.

Claudette: I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.

Lisa: Look, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine.

Mark: If you keep your girl satisfied, she wouldn't have come to me!

Johnny: Get out of my house. [attacks Mark] I'll kill you! I'll break every bone in your body! [gets stopped by party attendants]