Intimate wedding...or big blow out!?

I am feeling a crazy amount of pressure to decide what type of wedding that we are going to have (venues are booked out so far!) I would like to know what others are doing and why....I am having a hard time justifying the money spent on a huge wedding and not to mention the stress that comes along with it...but I do not want to be let down if we do a small destination wedding.

I am just excited to walk down the aisle to the man of my dreams.....(it's getting cheesy in here!)

OK. Write down your guest list. Look at your budget. You must do these two things before any more planning. Once you have done this, decide what you will be able to afford to feed these people. My sister had her wedding in a city park and had a pig roast. Delicious! A simple afternoon garden ceremony with tea sandwiches, cake and punch is easy to manage, and is very nice. If you are planning an outdoor ceremony, you must make emergency weather plans. Be sure you have enough chairs for everyone.Talk to your FI and decide what the two of you want to do. Happy planning.

I am feeling a crazy amount of pressure to decide what type of wedding that we are going to have (venues are booked out so far!) I would like to know what others are doing and why....I am having a hard time justifying the money spent on a huge wedding and not to mention the stress that comes along with it...but I do not want to be let down if we do a small destination wedding.

I am just excited to walk down the aisle to the man of my dreams.....(it's getting cheesy in here!)

thoughts?

It's a really personal decision. We sort of went middle of the road. We had a big wedding (about 130 guests), but we did it at a park venue (the wedding ceremony was outdoors in a park, but the park rents out the building, which has a full service kitchen, etc.).

By San Francisco Bay area standards, we went SUPER cheap. We did a late afternoon wedding, fed our guests a full meal, with liquor, for about $12-13k, which also included all of the wedding party attire.

Most bay area weddings run in the $25-50k range, easily.

So, I feel like we had the best of both worlds. A big wedding, with everyone we wanted to invite, but didn't bust the bank. And at the same time, I know a somewhat casual wedding isn't everyone's ideal, dream wedding. It was perfect for us, but that doesn't mean it would be perfect for you.

This really isn't something we can answer for you. It all depends on the kind of day you and your FI want.

I can tell you about my experience. At first, I wanted a very small DW wedding. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted a wedding close to where we live so that all of our friends and family would be able to attend. We're paying for the wedding ourselves and we are spending quite a bit. But we have a house that's already almost paid off, so for us, it was OK to use a good chunk of money on the wedding. If we were in a different situation (renting or large mortgage), I'd probably feel differently and would have planned something much smaller.

Instead of focusing on a number, we decided who we wanted to be there, which in our case was close family and friends. That meant siblings, aunts and uncles, and first cousins, plus close friends. It added up to about 115 people, of whom 95 were able to attend. We felt that was a perfect number for us: enough to be kinda crazy and fun, but few enough that it still felt intimate and we could talk to everyone. It was totally worth it to us to be able to get all of our most loved people in one place at one time.

How did you book a venue before you knew how many people you want to invite?

Thank you all for your support and advice! After some deliberation between my FI and I...I think we have decided on a smaller ceremony overlooking the River in my home town and a barn type reception in my parents acreage.....
There are so many things to think about but I think I was mostly stressed with size and venue...with these options we should be able to keep within budget and include our closest family and friends (100-150)! I love the idea of being able to speak with everyone and not feel that pull to have to make "small talk" with a lot of people that we are not close with.
Thanks everyone!