At my grandmother's 80th birthday, DH circulated and made sure that all of the elderly guests had cake and punch. In contrast, my cousins' husbands sat on chairs against the wall, crossed their arms, and visibly sulked. You would have thought they were 6 and being sat in the corner as punishment for pulling their sister's hair.

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Common sense is not a gift, but a curse. Because thenyou have to deal with all the people who don't have it. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My FIL likes to have The Game on when we visit. Unfortunately, he also likes to TiVo The Game so he can watch it later. So instead of conveniently watching The Game while it's actually happening, we have to wait for it to finish TiVoing, and THEN watch The Game so FIL can fast-forward through all the commercials. (Consequently, he also fast-forwards through anything that happens between the end of a play and the beginning of the next down.) Real fun watching things happen in The Game that happened 2-3 hours ago, and when you know the final score already.

The television was always a constant battle in visits with the ILs; when we visited them, we watched what they wanted to watch, because it was their house. OK, fair enough. But the reverse didn't happen. When they visited us, they insisted that they should get to watch what they wanted to watch, because they were the guests. If we tried to bring up the "our house, our choice" argument, they got mad. So one of the last visits, we turned the TV off and set the VCR to record our favorite program. It clicked when it turned on, and MIL got mad. "Obviously your television shows mean more to you than visiting with your mother."

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Common sense is not a gift, but a curse. Because thenyou have to deal with all the people who don't have it. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The television was always a constant battle in visits with the ILs; when we visited them, we watched what they wanted to watch, because it was their house. OK, fair enough. But the reverse didn't happen. When they visited us, they insisted that they should get to watch what they wanted to watch, because they were the guests. If we tried to bring up the "our house, our choice" argument, they got mad. So one of the last visits, we turned the TV off and set the VCR to record our favorite program. It clicked when it turned on, and MIL got mad. "Obviously your television shows mean more to you than visiting with your mother."

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I had a friend who did the same thing my house/ I'm the guest. Of course we were about 8 at the time.

I know the conversation about being told not having kids is selfish was a few pages back, but I was recently told by an acquaintance that I was selfish for wanting to have biological children. After all, there are plenty of children that need to be adopted, so she claimed the desire for biological children was the height of selfishness! Fortunately, at this point, we were only friends on Facebook, so it's been easy to cut her out of my life.

I know the conversation about being told not having kids is selfish was a few pages back, but I was recently told by an acquaintance that I was selfish for wanting to have biological children. After all, there are plenty of children that need to be adopted, so she claimed the desire for biological children was the height of selfishness! Fortunately, at this point, we were only friends on Facebook, so it's been easy to cut her out of my life.

And if you adopt, you're "stealing children from their mothers."

I stopped a long time ago caring about other people's opinion on my family plans. It's annoying when they feel the need to share their input anyway.

I know the conversation about being told not having kids is selfish was a few pages back, but I was recently told by an acquaintance that I was selfish for wanting to have biological children. After all, there are plenty of children that need to be adopted, so she claimed the desire for biological children was the height of selfishness! Fortunately, at this point, we were only friends on Facebook, so it's been easy to cut her out of my life.

And if you adopt, you're "stealing children from their mothers."

I stopped a long time ago caring about other people's opinion on my family plans. It's annoying when they feel the need to share their input anyway.

I can attest that...

You are selfish if you don't have children.

You are selfish if you try to have biological children.

You are doubly selfish if you spend money to conceive biological children that you could have given to your sibling who is in need. (Note: Said sibling has a similar income to me AND a trust fund but figured that since I didn't have kids I "wasn't using" most of my income and should fork it over.)

You are selfish if you adopt an infant and not an older "needy" child.

You are selfish if you spend money to adopt internationally because apparently you just want a perfect "dolls of the world" collection and refuse to take an American child who has their own mind and will cause trouble. (Though I think it's telling that people see foreign born children and assume they are soulless and passive.)

You are selfish if you adopt a white infant because that must mean that you passed up all the non-whites who are languishing in orphanages without white parents to adopt them.

You are selfish if your child does not have a visible disability. Once again, you probably turned down tons of maimed children because you are selfish and want a perfect one.

You are selfish if you get an older child with some health conditions and PTSD because apparently they were removed from their mother so they could be "sold" by DSHS.

You are selfish if someone finds out you expended any kind of money for an adoption. Because didn't you know that the "unwanted kids" are free? You must be paying money for the perfect ones! Never mind that to be licensed you need social workers, background checks, finger printing, etc. If you spent money, you MUST be a selfish person who is obsessed with finding a perfect child who is ripped out of a perfect family.

Oh, who am I kidding? If you adopt it's probably because you are too selfish to have stretch marks!

But once again you are selfish if you never have children!

Yeah, my advice is to just not care what anyone thinks. It's the best thing you can pass on to your children.

I know the conversation about being told not having kids is selfish was a few pages back, but I was recently told by an acquaintance that I was selfish for wanting to have biological children. After all, there are plenty of children that need to be adopted, so she claimed the desire for biological children was the height of selfishness! Fortunately, at this point, we were only friends on Facebook, so it's been easy to cut her out of my life.

And if you adopt, you're "stealing children from their mothers."

I stopped a long time ago caring about other people's opinion on my family plans. It's annoying when they feel the need to share their input anyway.

I can attest that...

You are selfish if you don't have children.

You are selfish if you try to have biological children.

You are doubly selfish if you spend money to conceive biological children that you could have given to your sibling who is in need. (Note: Said sibling has a similar income to me AND a trust fund but figured that since I didn't have kids I "wasn't using" most of my income and should fork it over.)

You are selfish if you adopt an infant and not an older "needy" child.

You are selfish if you spend money to adopt internationally because apparently you just want a perfect "dolls of the world" collection and refuse to take an American child who has their own mind and will cause trouble. (Though I think it's telling that people see foreign born children and assume they are soulless and passive.)

You are selfish if you adopt a white infant because that must mean that you passed up all the non-whites who are languishing in orphanages without white parents to adopt them.

You are selfish if your child does not have a visible disability. Once again, you probably turned down tons of maimed children because you are selfish and want a perfect one.

You are selfish if you get an older child with some health conditions and PTSD because apparently they were removed from their mother so they could be "sold" by DSHS.

You are selfish if someone finds out you expended any kind of money for an adoption. Because didn't you know that the "unwanted kids" are free? You must be paying money for the perfect ones! Never mind that to be licensed you need social workers, background checks, finger printing, etc. If you spent money, you MUST be a selfish person who is obsessed with finding a perfect child who is ripped out of a perfect family.

Oh, who am I kidding? If you adopt it's probably because you are too selfish to have stretch marks!

But once again you are selfish if you never have children!

Yeah, my advice is to just not care what anyone thinks. It's the best thing you can pass on to your children.

Wow. Some of you must be surrounded by really horrible people. I have never, not once, heard anyone say any of these things. To me or to anyone else. I consider myself fortunate.

I hate it when people in my family say things like "Don't you know what x y z food turns into in your body?" or "He broke his radius and ulna, Adelaide, those are two bones in the forearm" or "Don't use that knife, you'll cut yourself". I just want to turn and give the (non-eHell approved) reply "Thank you for educating me, the diploma showing that I majored in biology is just a prop."

I have another "watching TV in someone else's house" story. My in-laws stayed with us over Christmas one year, and they decided they wanted to watch a "Law & Order" re-run on Christmas Eve. Fine - not my choice (and they didn't ask), but whatever. My husband and I started filling our daughters' stockings, and evidently we were making too much noise, because my mother-in-law shushed us. In our own house. Because evidently a five-year-old re-run of a show they'd already seen was more important than filling their granddaughters' stockings on Christmas Eve. I'm still shaking my head about that one.

Wow. Some of you must be surrounded by really horrible people. I have never, not once, heard anyone say any of these things. To me or to anyone else. I consider myself fortunate.

Nobody has said that to me personally (I only have biological children) but I've seen words to that extent on message boards. I've seen people arguing that if you can conceive naturally, you have no business adopting. I've also read that being infertile doesn't entitle a person to someone else's child. The internet is full of ugliness.

I have some dear friends who adopted and had to remove their online presence entirely as anti-adoption activist groups were publishing their information online. They had to get a court injunction. People have opinions about everything.

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ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."-J.R.R Tolkien

Wow. Some of you must be surrounded by really horrible people. I have never, not once, heard anyone say any of these things. To me or to anyone else. I consider myself fortunate.

Nobody has said that to me personally (I only have biological children) but I've seen words to that extent on message boards. I've seen people arguing that if you can conceive naturally, you have no business adopting. I've also read that being infertile doesn't entitle a person to someone else's child. The internet is full of ugliness.

Internet. There you go.

The internet isn't real life. People on the internet hide behind their screens and can and do say vile things. That doesn't mean people REALLY think and behave this way. I wouldn't take anything done or said on the internet to heart.

I'd be very surprised if the things stated above were actually said out loud, in person, to anyone. I am not surprised to read that those things were posted on the internet. There is a huge, vast difference between the two. One is real and one is not.