August 03, 2008: Funny Roomate Stories

So I’m hanging out on a lazy Sunday (nod to Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg). During the course of the day I notice my roomate is talking on his phone on his window sill. We’re on the 9th floor of a building with no fire escapes out front, so sitting on the window sill is a little precarious. “But hey” I think he does this often. It’s really weird, but he’s a really weird kind of guy, so I go about my lazy Sunday. Paying bills, answering emails. Blogging about semi-interesting goings on.

Eventually it’s close to 4 or 5PM and my front door opens of it’s own accord (aided by the building Super and a group of police officers, and the nice security guard from the lobby downstairs). Normally had I recently done something of questionable legality I would not be surprised to see the Man knocking on my door. But as they walked past me I asked them, “How’s it going?” in the most casual way you can ask a group of authority figures with guns walking past you. They pointed to my roomates room, and I began to wonder…

It could be any number of things:

1. He actually decided to jump out his window.

2. He was involved in an international sex-slave ring (he’s from China).

3. He ran over that nice crippled man in the street with his car (we have a lot of bums during the summer months).

4. Or…(just insert any stupid thing you want here).

So the cops, the super, and the security guard ascertain that he wasn’t trying to jump out his window, but just decided to sit on his window ledge like the idiot he is (turns out someone saw him from the street and thought he was a jumper).

Long story short, now he’s getting kicked out of his apartment which means I have to move. I guess it’s ok, I was thinking about moving closer to work anyway. It’s events like this that convince you to get studio and forgo any further roomates of questionable sanity.