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There's no magical secret that divides the cool from the uncool, or that attracts women in droves. Forget about fashion fads and fitting in with the right clique. You can get the kind of attention you want if you focus on showing yourself and the world that you have self-confidence and an interest in the people around you.

Steps

Part 1

Getting Girls to Notice You

1

Maintain your personal hygiene. You've got to look after your appearance if you expect girls to be interested in it. The first step is regular showers, brushing your teeth daily, and wearing deodorant.

Body spray or cologne can make you more attractive to girls.

Yellow armpit stains may be caused by antiperspirant deodorant. Depending on how much you sweat, you might be better off using a different, non-antiperspirant brand, and wearing a thin undershirt instead to catch some moisture.[1]

2

Pay attention to your wardrobe. If any of your clothes are stained or tattered, throw them away and replace them. You don't need to buy into expensive designer fads or mimic what the "cool kids" wear, just to show that you think about your style.

Wear clothes that fit you comfortably, not too tight and not too baggy.

Don't wear the same outfit so long that it gets smelly or that people start to comment on it. Ideally, toss your shirt in the laundry basket after one use, and your pants (trousers) after three.

Choose an attention grabber (optional). This isn't necessary to get noticed, but if you want a reputation as a "cool guy," it might pay off to stand out from the crowd. This could be a shirt with a funny joke on it, a brightly colored pin, or a pair of sunglasses.[2] Choose something that you're comfortable wearing regularly, so people start to associate you with a unique style.

Run your choice by close friends first if you're not sure. There's a fine line between standing out in a crowd and looking silly. You can even cross that line and turn the attention to your benefit, but that takes a lot of self-confidence to pull off.

4

Practice confident posture. Confident body language can make a surprising difference in how approachable you look, and can boost your own self-esteem as well.[3] Stand and sit straight up. Your shoulders should be pulled back and aligned over your hips, with the back of your neck straight up over them.

When standing without something to do, find a position that you can hold comfortably, so you don't fidget awkwardly. If you can't stop shifting your weight back and forth, lean slightly against a wall.

If you have trouble keeping your hands still, hold a drink or other object at your side. Don't put the object in front of you, and don't use something distracting like a cell phone – both of these mistakes cut you off from your surroundings.

5

Pay attention to your surroundings. Keep your chin up and your head back while walking or standing, and look at the people around you. You'll see a lot more opportunities this way than if you're daydreaming or rushing down the street. This simple change in body language will make you seem more confident and accessible as well, two important traits for attracting social attention.

6

Boost your confidence with visualization. If you get tongue-tied or shaky when talking to women, spend some time alone building up to it. Sit in a private place and close your eyes, imagining feeling completely comfortable and calm. Keeping those feelings in mind, imagine walking up to a woman you've never met and introducing yourself.[4] Repeat this exercise daily for a week, then try it in real life.

If you still don't feel ready, try making eye contact with strangers on the street and saying "Hello." Smile, and don't let yourself look away before they do.[5]

Part 2

Interacting with Girls

1

Have conversation starters ready. You might not think of yourself as a skilled talker, but a little advance preparation goes a long way to change that. Keep in mind that the first conversation you have with someone shouldn't explore deep issues of faith, politic stances, or lifelong dreams, unless they're clearly interested. It's just a quick way to get a conversation flowing. Here are some examples of ways you can prepare, depending on your age and the kind of people you spend time with:

Listen to popular music and think about your opinions on it. If you don't like it, find a band you do like and write down how it's similar to more well-known music, and why you like it more.

Watch movies currently in theaters, or currently running television shows.

Read news sites or the newspaper daily to catch up on current events or local news.

2

Prepare stories about yourself. Come up with two or three interesting stories from your life, to tell when the conversation stops. This is a great way to show that you're a cool and interesting person.

If you're passionate about a hobby, talk about it. People are often most interesting when talking about something they love.

Humor is a great tool to use, if used properly. Try to tease yourself or make funny observations about the situation you're in. Teasing the woman or people around you should be kept to a minimum, and should always be light-hearted, not mean.

3

Join conversations. The "brooding guy in a corner" look isn't nearly as cool or attractive as it seems. Walk up to people and say hi, and make an effort to listen to the conversation and respond to it. The more people are directly interacting with you, the more you'll be noticed by other people in the surroundings.

Don't think of this as "picking a target." Talking to men can work fine, as long as they don't try to overshadow you or dominate the conversation.

4

Make eye contact and smile. When you're looking for someone to approach, scan their faces, not their shoes or the sky – and definitely not anywhere else on their anatomy. Once you make eye contact with someone, smile and say hello. Keep looking at the other person's eyes during the conversation.

5

Lean forward slightly while talking. Once you're in conversation with a girl, tilt your head and shoulders forward slightly. This is a cue that you're engaged in the conversation, and interested in continuing it.[6]

6

Compliment her. A small compliment is a much better first step than a long speech about how long you've been crushing on her or how she stunned you as soon as you laid eyes on her. It's tough to come up with a compliment that doesn't sound generic or forced, but with some practice you'll get the smiles and blushes that show you're on the right track.

If you know something about her work or something she did, compliment that instead of her appearance.

Try to make beauty-related compliments unique to her, and focus on something she controls, such as her hairstyle or clothing choices.

A straightforward remark works better than a cheesy pick up line or catcall. "You seemed so warm and friendly that I wanted to come over and introduce myself" won't win any prizes, but it will start more conversations than "Heyyyy sexy."

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Article Info

wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 27 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. Together, they cited 6 references. This article has also been viewed 207,101 times.