An event can be experienced, and in oneself can be measured and felt one can learn about side effects and while one may know an event will occur one will not directly learn from the event because the event is something that always has impact.

When a loved one passes away if we allow it this passing will fatigue and pain us less, but in dulling ourself or being dull to this experience we may shy away from circumstances that make us close, and while this protects us from the pain it also protects us from a full life.

It is better to live fully with pain then to not know the bonds of joyful energy.