Wild Bill

As usual, I had to leave a lot of good stuff out of my column today on professional eater Wild Bill Myers of Breinigsville.

Meeting and interviewing him was a treat for me. My own once-a-year exploits have resulted in a certain fascination with the professional eating circuit, so it was fun to hear about some of the tricks of the trade.

For example, hot liquids are great for breaking down hot dog and hamburger buns and helping you choke them down quickly with the meat. I knew about competitors dipping the rolls in water, but now Myers says they’ve found that hot water or hot lemonade are more effective.

He also noted that although puking is grounds for disqualification, competitors have been known to get way with surreptitious upchucking. And he told me that the International Federation of Competitive Eating — which has him ranked No. 31 in the world — has a rival organization, the Association of Indendent Competititive Eaters, that insists on “picnic style rules."

According to the AICE Web site: “Simply put ‘Picnic Style Rules’ are rules of a contest that do not allow for the mutilation, desecration, improper destruction of a food item.

“AICE believes that eating a particular food item the way it was intended, is not only playing proper tribute to the culture and heritage of the food but also makes for a more interesting and easiier to follow contest. Over the years, many competitive eating fans have gasped in horror as they suffered the indignity of watching Eaters separate, dunk, mush and mash and perform other unmentionable ‘Picnic profanities.’”

I became acquainted with competitive eating through the Wing Bowl, staged with tremendous fanfare by the WIP sports radio station in Philadelphia every winter, and Wild Bill reminded me that he nearly qualified for the last one, finishing second in a qualifier that involved eating hoagies. He missed first by half a hoagie. I actually heard it on the radio.

Wings aren’t one of his favorite competitive foods, but Wing Bowl is an amazing spectacle, including grand entrances in costumes and a bevy of scantily clad Wingettes. He told me that if he qualifies for Wing Bowl this year, I can be in his entourage.

I’ve always wanted to go to Wing Bowl — made it halfway down there early one morning with a group of guys before we learned that police had shut the street and parking lot down because there were so many people — so this would be a dream come true, even if I have to wear a funny outfit.

Rest assured, if I do, there will be pictures. Speaking of which, here’s Dave Oblas’ latest Cap’n Juicy effort, produced in response to a challenge from regular reader Lu.