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Funny satire stories about Rick Perry

AUSTIN, Texas -- Gov. Rick Perry has announced that the Texas National Guard will be deployed to ferret out suspected ICEE terrorists who have moved across the border into the Lone Star State in an attempt to sabotage the diets of American children w...

Austin, Texas - Royal probate documents sealed under the Brits' Official Secrets Act are being subpoenaed in a Texas lawsuit alleging abuse of power by Governor Perry.
Supporters of Travis County District Attorney and convicted DUI dissembler Rose...

With apologies to Emma Lazarus
Just like the brazen ass of Texan fame
With chiseled face broadcast across the land,
Here at our southern border gates shall stand
With border guards be-pistoled, in his name
Hater of exiles! From his ambitious flame
Glows unwelcome spite; his air-brushed looks command
The hate-filled folks who represent his brand
And hang on to his words so often lame.

Texas Gov Rick Perry said in an emotional interview today that his favorite Wal-Mart is being over-run with illegal children!
"I couldn't even get to the snack bar" a frustrated Perry proclaimed "it was like Korea in there"!
Concerns about the...

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today explained how his states voter ID laws work. "A state handgun license qualifies, but a state university identification card does not. Of course military ID's qualify too," stated the GOP governor.
"There's been som...

The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream...

AP--Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) compared being an asshole to alcoholism Wednesday, arguing that both can be overcome.
"Whether or not you feel compelled to be an asshole or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that," Perry explained during...

Sergei Aksyonov, the leader of the Crimea effort to secede from the Urkraine, who was installed as prime minister of Crimea after armed men seized the Parliament building last week, has had several conversations with Governor Rick Perry of Texas.

President Xi Jinping of the People's Republic of China has invited "The Most Honorable Governor Of The Most Christian State of Texas" to his country for "an elaborate state visit."
He said that he admired the way that Texas had "put religion way...

The machinists union in Washington rejected a long-term labor deal proposed by Boeing several weeks ago. The proposed pack was "take-back bargaining" and a very bad deal for the union.
Without having access to machinists, the initial response of...

Texas- Last night under the cover of darkness, the entire city of Austin slipped out of the state.
Hank Perkins, a resident of the nearby town of Waco said he thought he heard something, but decided to wait until the morning to investigate.
"W...

AUSTIN, TX - Capping off nearly a month of intense media coverage and legislative gobbledygook, Gov. Rick Perry, R-Texas, signed a bill restricting cleavage on Friday. The measure effectively bans all cleavage in the state.
Republicans have said t...

The White House has indicated ceremonies and awards in upcoming festivities honoring recent and ongoing achievements.
The awards are being carefully vetted by a bi-partisan commission from Perception Management and Bright Stripes Corporation (mot...

Austin, Tex. - On Friday, the Texas Senate passed one of the strictest anti-abortion measures in the country. Gov. Rick Perry is expected to sign the bill after a Democratic filibuster blocked its passage last month. Buried in the bill is a provision...

AUSTIN TX (AP) In addition to passing controversial abortion legislation, the Republican ruled Texas house of representatives added two new amendments just prior to the final vote. Learning from North Carolina, there was no debate.
Both amendment...

To battle the always combative Planned Parenthood in Texas, Governor Rick Perry has asked the state legislature to fund what he is calling "Unplanned Parenthood," a new non-profit whose mission, Perry explained, is to "promote bein' a parent for all...

Faded Spotlight Magazine Presents...
U.S. POLITICOS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Mitt Romney - The old Flip-Flopper, who got trounced in the 2012 presidential election by President Barack Obama, is seriously considering moving down to Mexico and living with one of his cousins who owns a piñata factory.
Ron Paul - The 77-year-old congressman from Texas is living in the Lone Star state and trying t...

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan apparently thinks that she is the Queen of The World as she has thumbed her nose (again) at the California judicial system treating them as if they are simply a whole bunch of Moe's, Larry's, Curly's, and Lucy's.
Lohan...

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