Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Send In The Maureens

My daughter has a unique accent, I don't quite know what it is ... she pronounces "bag" as "baig" and there are a few other words that have to be some sort of combination of my Scottish/Canadian accent and her dad's American pronunciation, but the funniest of all happened tonight.

I was trying to get her into bed, which is a full-contact sport around here, and I had threatened her with all sorts of horrible things like being stuck in the shed (which we don't have) with the weasels (which we also don't have) and so on, and then finally I said "If you don't get IN that bed and LIE right down (I think I was frothing at the mouth a bit at this point) I shall SEND IN YOUR FATHER and he USED TO BE A MARINE!"

And she said "Yes, I know my dad was a Maureen."

And then all of a sudden I had this vision (it's fun to live in my head, honest) of a band of big burly buff men, in print house dresses and combat boots, brandishing rolling pins and marching into battle.

I'm sure it was really really hard to threaten her with that while giggle-snorting madly, huh?My son's trip to the zoo and the word "Fuh-blingos" (flamingos) had me picturing gangsta flamingos wearing too much jewelry.. its fun to live in my head to.. but you knew that already.

You need to keep your archives very secure so later, when you need to embarrass her (like when a boy is coming over or something) you can haul these out and make him read them.Baig seems to be a northern US thing too - my stepdaughter in Montana says it, as does a friend from Minnesota. Does she say melk too?

Somewhere on the 'net is a regional accent quiz. I don't know if it takes into account Canadian regions or if it is xenocentric and thus limited to American regions. I took the quiz and it completely nailed my location. It said "you're as Philly as a cheesecake."

Now, see, when I picture the Maureens, I picture a gaggle of bonny Irish lassies with red hair and freckles, like Lindsay Lohan but not slutty or drunk.

My grandma used to say "baig" and "warsh-raig". When she answered the phone, she said, "HAIL-o!" (it didn't sound the same as "halo") and when she was thinking, instead of saying "well", she'd say, "Waaaaail..."

Holy shit!I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type! All I can think of is John Cleese in a wonderful flowered print, goose-stepping with an M-16 singing "From the Halls of my Ba-ZOO-OMA's to the shores of the LA- trine"...(intense visual here!)That was certainly enough to get me out of my ELE-FUNK.:)

"foal" = full"tore" = tourfragrance comes out with the word "rag" in it, instead of "fray-grance"She says "kiwi" with the first "i" sounding like the I in "git"There are so many more and I can't think of all of them!