As mentioned on Monday, all my writing time as of late has gone to a top-secret project I’ve code-named “Operation Scalded Armadillo.”

I’ll be able to speak more freely after April 3, but here are a few actual lines I’ve written for OSA.

It’s non-fiction.

1. “… announcing a massive expedition to South America in a ship called ‘The Big Bill’ to capture footage of a fish that could climb trees…”

2. “Naked Raygun, Hüsker Dü, the Dead Kennedys were some of the more famous bands…”

3. “… a sociological texts on the true costs of suburban sprawl…”

4. “… tried to write the bribe off as a business expense on her taxes.”

5. “… has craters on the goddamn moon named for him…”

6. “Now who here has seen Blazing Saddles? Mel Brooks? Cleavon Little? ‘Mongo only pawn in game of life’?”

7. “The man Daley put in charge of parks once told the papers, quote, ‘You can have too much green grass.’”

8. “There are no registered voters on the highway.”

9. “… super hella big tax revenue…”

10 . “Fuck Al Capone.”

Thanks for your readership and thanks for putting up with this site briefly becoming history-a-rama for a couple days. On Monday, I end all this Secret Squirrel nonsense and let you know what I’ve been talking about.