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Our modern relationships have nothing to do anymore with the one our grandparents, or even our parents went through. Years of fights for equality have completely changed the relationships between men and women. Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst.
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Exploring the highs and lows of relationships

First it giveth, then taketh it away

When you search for a relationship (based or not on love) on the multiple dating sites existing nowadays, you could fall on women/men looking for a marriage with a foreigner to escape the misery of their country, swinging couples looking for more to exchange, single men/women looking only to get laid, true love, potential friends, but also married or already engaged people, especially married men.

One of my single friends told me she realised she chatted with one of her colleague’s husband on of of those dating sites, and she immediately stopped replying to his numerous messages. “I can’t believe how many married men I’ve met on those dating sites, but the worst was that I knew almost all of them and this is really scaring” she said.

The dating sites give to the unfaithtful married men an enormous field for cruising. “If you’re really careful, you can get tons and tons of dates with total strangers on those dating sites. It’s easier to find a mistress on those sites than on the street or in your entourage. In these two last cases, chances are someone you know or knows your wife would see you flirting with other women. Internet gives you the confidentiality you need” explains P., 40.

This confidentiality would explain why married men multiply on the dating sites. I met once a woman who told me about her painful experience with this phenomenon. “I met J. on a famous dating site and we immediately clicked. I was already in love before even meeting him face to face. After six months of dating, we decided to get married. But one day, I started having suspicion on him: what if he didn’t stop talking online to other women? I wanted to set the record straight, so I created a false profile and waited for him to contact me. And he did. He didn’t change his name at all, so it was easy to uncover him. And to my surprise, he started to explain his real situation. He told me he had enough of lying to everyone, that he was married and he had a little daughter, but was also engaged with another woman. I didn’t have the courage to told him my real identity, and just disappeared from his life straight away without a word of explanation. Now, I can’t trust men anymore, and I don’t think I would again” she said.

This is the harsh reality of dating sites. It’s not very different from the “real life”, when you think about it. I still believe, though, it is possible to find your soul mate on those sites (and sometimes, even celebrities). But you’ve got to be really, really lucky (and patient). On the other hand, it is a really good mean for those who just want to get laid.

8 thoughts on “First it giveth, then taketh it away”

I was saying: if a guy has time to talk for hours online then he has too much time on his hands (aka unemployed). A co-worker of mine met this guy online and fell in love over the internet. He flew thousands of miles to be with her and they married. Suddenly, the guy, who was supposed to return to his country, decided to stay for good. It turnd out that he didn’t have work there and had no intention of finding work here. He found a goldmine in my co-worker who had a stable job. He suffers no embarrassment for not wanting to find work. His wife now regrets marrying him.

Many women in 3rd world countries think that marrying a foreigner from a core country will give them security. The truth is, many men who cruise online can’t give any security, financial or emotional.

Oh, I think there’s another problem yet with askimet (again). I recover this one 😀
I feel really sorry for your co-worker. She’s found another crook of love. I hope she will get out of this situation without too many harms.
You never know what you can find on those dating sites. That’s the problem. For the women of the 3rd world countries, they should consider this: if the occidental men are single, maybe there’s a good reason for this: occidental women probably think they suck, that’s why they’re single.

Yes, this reminds me to write another post about that phenomenon, Liz. Heaven-sent ? Well, it depends where you locate heaven from hell, then 😉
Guests, I’m glad you find the love of your life. But I don’t appreciate when someone uses my blog to promote a dating site or anything else.