Naked Honesthttp://www.nakedhonest.com
Life in Pieces. Loving it Whole.Wed, 02 Aug 2017 04:12:33 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.4http://www.nakedhonest.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/NH-Pin-100x100.pngNaked Honesthttp://www.nakedhonest.com
3232I Am. I Choose…http://www.nakedhonest.com/the-living-breathing-prayer-i-am-i-choose/
Mon, 31 Jul 2017 02:39:07 +0000http://www.nakedhonest.com/?p=563I Choose Peace. It does not mean that there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and calm in my heart.

I Am Grounded. I am rooted into the earth, connected to all things. Like a tree, my arms extend to the universe. I am planting seeds of abundance and constantly growing from within.

I Am Kind, But Not Weak. I understand that those who are cruel are suffering on the inside and are merely a cry for help. I take heed but I will not enable bad behavior. I teach the laws of love.

I See the Bigger Picture. I understand that each one of us have our own burdens to bare, fulfilling our contractual agreements, gifted and bestowed upon us for our souls evolution.

I Am Empathetic. I feel deeply, but I am not weak. I stand strong in my conviction and my inner wisdom.

I Am a Mirror. I place mirrors energetically around me, so that what others give, they get. If they send love, it reflects love back to them and if they send toxicity, they receive their own toxic waste.

I Will Not Be Manipulated, Orchestrated or Controlled. May the white light of the Creator always surround and protect me. May nothing but good come to me. May nothing but good come from me. For all this I am thankful, for every lesson and blessing.

I Am Love. I Am Loved. I Choose Love. In all truth and pureness within my heart, I am grateful for my journey and will walk my path with joy and truth in my heart.

A mystic is a wild creature. She is made. She is deliberately forged by something mysterious. She is created for a purpose. She spends all her life seeking, for there is nothing else worth doing. She peers and gazes until she falls from the edge of the world, and into the next. Over and over.

Each time she returns, she is a little different. What she sees must change her. She dies evert day. She is reborn in every moment. Can you even begin to fathom the terror and the faith commanded from such a being? Can you even begin to understand what such a life can do?

Don’t date a mystic, if you want the life you have. If you are comfortable and cozy, stay away. Whatever you have built around yourself to create comfort: it cannot stand in the blazing fire of a mystical woman. She is the seer of souls.

She is the womb that births the divine into the flesh and bone of matter. She doesn’t mean to burn your village to the ground, but she has seen what you are meant to become. You are not a peasant shearing sheep, as you have thought. You are a king dressed in rags who has amnesia.

It is her assumption that you have come to be reborn. If you haven’t, turn back now, while the world you know still exists. She will destroy the false idol you see in the mirror. She will smash it open because it is your prison. If you wish to stay there, she will shatter you another way. She will leave. A mystic may not for long engage with that which is too small for her, unless she is nurturing a seedling into its destiny. But the need must be capable of fulfilling its own potential.

Everybody wants the magic, but nobody wants the Mystery, the schooling; a thing that must be lived in a place where book knowledge has no meaning, for all books are manuals to the world you already know. That means, the well-honed intellect — the masculine theory of reason — will not save you, cannot free you. It is for a world whose time is over.

The Mystery, by its very nature, must show you what has never been seen, never been written, never been known, because before you were forged, it was impossible. The arts of women have been called the dark arts for too long, and they are the keys to infinity. Infinite form. Infinite being. Infinite life.

The art of far sight.

The art of inner knowing.

The art of sign-reading.

The art of deep feeling.

The art of song and circles.

The art of intuition.

The art of frequency translation.

The art of healing arts.

The art of kitchen witchery.

The art of communion.

The art of sacred story weaving.

The art of creation and manifestation.

And others too wild to name.

If your dreams are not filled with the Mystery, you are better off with a normal girl, because a mystic will see things that are invisible to you. She will feel things that you cannot feel beneath the layers of numbness you have wrapped yourself in.

She will call upon your true self, your real soul, and she will sing it down into you, into herself, and life will never be the same.

***

The first time I read these words I loved them so much, they resonated so deeply, I knew I needed to keep them in a safe place to come back to, should I ever need to hear them again. I’ve read this article so many times that if it were printed out and in my wallet it would have endured 40 year old crease marks from 3 years of wear and tear.

]]>It Was All for Me (A Poem)http://www.nakedhonest.com/it-was-all-for-me-a-poem/
Sun, 16 Jul 2017 14:57:06 +0000http://www.nakedhonest.com/?p=222He said it was good to see me smile.
But, I wasn’t smiling for me.

She said I was confident.
But, that wasn’t confidence.
It was passion,
Because I stand up for what I believe.

He said I was brave,
Because I built a life of my own.
But, survival isn’t brave, it’s a need.

She said, “I don’t worry about you.
You always land on your feet.”

He had said once that he could
Never love another.
And, so it became true for her
But, not for me.

As they held my memory in the
Middle of their lives,
I realized,
I had long sense set them free.

He said it was good to see me smile.
But, I wasn’t smiling for them,
I was smiling for me.

I do believe in hard work. I believe in the energy of kindness. I believe a smile is a very powerful weapon against doubt and fear. And, I believe in love. Not the kind of love that makes you swoon, but the uncomfortable kind. The kind that is more concerned with someone else’s happiness than the sacrifice in letting go of a little of your own comforts.

More than anything though, I believe in appreciation; at my lowest appreciation has made me feel richer than some of the wealthiest people I know.

No, I don’t believe any of my beliefs make me a good person. That’s ridiculous. God help me if I ever settle for good while there is still the capacity within me for better.

The things I believe in, however, do make me a happy person and that has been my goal all along.

I believe in happiness.

]]>Last Chance (Advice)http://www.nakedhonest.com/dear-last-chance/
Sun, 25 Jun 2017 14:49:30 +0000http://www.nakedhonest.com/?p=106I think my marriage is falling apart. My wife has a bit of a temper and these days it seems like we are always fighting. I don’t want to fight anymore and I’ve explained to her that I can’t keep living like this. I used to love her but I’m not sure that I do anymore. I’m not sure if I ever loved her the way I should have loved her. She is so insecure, constantly looking over my shoulder, and blaming me for everything. I’ve told her so many times that she has to change or this won’t work. I’m not sure what to do except leave. Any advice?

***

Usually people who hurt others are coming from a place of hurt. If you don’t love her, if you never really loved her, she is sensing that. A woman knows when a man’s heart is somewhere else.

The way I see it, you have a couple of choices.

If you want to make your marriage work, it starts with you. You have to love her, show her you love her and tell her you love her – often! She wouldn’t be insecure unless there was a reason. Give her your heart and she will stop communicating (in the only way she knows how) that she doesn’t have it.

If you feel that you have tried everything, you know that you don’t love her and there is no way for this to work; have the strength to let her go. As a human being she deserves to have someone in her life that loves her the way she should be loved – whole heartedly.

The next move is yours, not hers.

With Love,

]]>10 Things You Should Know About Anxiety Disordershttp://www.nakedhonest.com/10-things-you-should-know-about-social-anxiety-2/
Thu, 09 Jul 2015 13:00:00 +0000http://www.nakedhonest.com/?p=239Having lived with an anxiety disorder for over 18 years now, and having researched the personal experiences of others battling with this disorder, all votes seem to be unanimous – anxiety sucks!

Is it just me or is that information – Um, WOW! If it’s such a common problem then why aren’t we talking about it?

Personally, having lived with severe social anxiety since high school, I’ve rarely had the desire to share my dilemma with friends, family, and definitely not strangers.

Going solo and not reaching out for help is very common among those who suffer from social anxiety. We hide our fears because we want to be as inconspicuous as possible. Incognito is the goal; to get through a social situation discretely or avoid the situation entirely. We want to fit in and be unnoticed, which sadly, breeds more fear and more anxiety.

This is probably a huge reason why those who experience social anxiety or a panic attack for the first time have no idea what’s happening because those of us who experience them on a regular basis rarely (if ever) talk about it.

People with social anxiety are often misunderstood and labeled as shy, inhibited, meek, timid, flakey or disinterested but those descriptions are rarely true. The truth is we CRAVE to be social, but everything about a social situation just feels wrong. The events at hand do not match the corresponding thoughts, emotions, and chemical reactions pumping through our bodies at any given moment.

For anyone who has never experienced social anxiety I would imagine the simple solution would be to just, “face your fears” and “get over it.”

Oh, if only it were that simple!

Living with social anxiety means that you face your biggest fears EVERY SINGLE DAY. Every social situation is a David & Goliath moment and walking away alive means you’ve won a small battle, but never the war.

THOUGHTS – Your thoughts are in overdrive. When anxiety sets in so does your imagination. You begin to overthink EVERYTHING, which makes it almost impossible to actively listen or be present with the person or situation in front of you. All you can think about is every little detail (past, present, future) and ultimately how to change or get out of the current situation.

EMOTIONS – Someone with social anxiety generally experiences intense feelings of fear and insecurities due to situational triggers. This emotionally charged moment is often accompanied by physical symptoms (loss of breath, shaking, muscle twitches, sweating, dry mouth, weakness, dizziness, feeling faint, and racing heartbeat). In the moment those feelings can feel less like a symptom and more like a validation that you are in a very real and dangerous situation. The emotional overload can also make you feel detached from your current situation and at the peak of a panic attack, the dominating emotion becomes the very real and primal need for survival.

CHEMICAL REACTIONS – Physically, you have just gone into fight-or-flight mode. Your adrenaline is pumping, your senses are heightened, and your body begins to prepare mentally and physically to kick a**! This is what it feels like during a panic attack. You have so much adrenaline pumping through your veins you could probably lift up a car with one hand or K.O. a bear if one jumped out in front of you. The problem is that the chemical reactions happening in your body do not match the current situation. It’s not considered socially acceptable to start attacking people or run around the block to release the build up of energy being created in your body. You – Just – Have – To – Sit – There.

***

There are times when my social anxiety, even today, seems unbearable and can quickly lead to depressive down-spirals and long bouts of living like a hermit.

However, more often than not, my social anxiety is easily manageable as long as I keep my life active and stay at least semi-social within various public situations. Also, talking about my social anxiety with close friends or family has helped tremendously. When experiencing social anxiety it’s easy to feel like you are in it alone, but you are never alone!

With that being said, I thought this would be a great topic to write/talk about. If you have ever experienced social anxiety, if you know of someone who suffers from social anxiety, or even if you have never experienced social anxiety (but might possibly in the future) here are 10 things you should know to better prepare yourself for the battle you may be facing tomorrow:

1. You’re Not Alone1 in every 4 people experience social anxiety andmost of those people don’t even know it.

2. Social Anxiety Is Totally TreatableSocial Anxiety Disorder (SAD) or rather the “illness of lost opportunities” is not only manageable, it’s 100% treatable and often times without medication. So, don’t keep missing those opportunities in front of you. Reach out and learn more about social anxiety disorder. There is a life waiting for you free from feelings of unnecessary stress and panic.

3. It May Feel Like It, But You’re Not Dying!When dealing with social anxiety, or having a panic attack for the first time, the experience can be so intense that people often describe it as, “I felt like I was dying” or “I thought I was going crazy.” The fears and triggers are not rational (FEAR: False. Evidence. Appearing. Real.), but the knowledge of this does not make the situation feel any less real or less dangerous. However “the knowing” of what to expect when anxiety shows can help to keep fears and panic from escalating by serving as a reminder in the moment; you’ve felt like this before, you know what triggers are causing those feelings, and from past experience everything is and will be ok.

4. It’s Not Personal. My Anxiety Has Nothing To Do With YouSometimes people with social anxiety may seem stuck-up. I’ve been called that more than I care to admit, but the truth is, in those moments of anxiety or a panic attack our behavior has nothing to do with anyone around us. In those moments every ounce of energy is going into survival mode and getting out of the current situation. It’s the environment that makes the situation stressful, not anything you (as an outsider) did or didn’t do.

5. This Moment Isn’t Really MeWhile I may be an introvert by nature, I’m very outgoing at heart. I love to start conversations with random people, get to know what interests them, and make new acquaintances. But, when dealing with social anxiety I’m definitely not the best version of myself. In the moment, for someone who struggles with social anxiety, it can feel like you are trapped in your own skin. It is a very scary, helpless, and frustrating experience. Those moments can not only be really embarrassing but also discouraging when we are trying to find the courage to tackle other future social situations. Please be extra kind. You never really know what someone else is going through.

6. Diet & Exercise Do Wonders For AnxietyHaving a healthier diet with minimal caffeine, sugar, and processed food has done wonders for me. I’ve also discovered that when I have a regular exercise routine, I often times find myself calm and confident in situations where I would normally be anxious or nervous.

7. Believe It Or Not, Posture HelpsI recently ran across this Ted Talks video by Social Psychologist, Amy Cuddy. In it she talks about how our body language shapes who we are. After watching this I began to pay more and more attention to my body. The posture of my body when I’m insecure is very different from the posture of my body when I’m feeling confident. I’ve also noticed that my posture can serve as a trigger for either a panic attack or a state of confidence. If you haven’t watched the video yet, check it out. I just know you’ll love it!

8. Breathe, Just Breathe
I heard this once in a yoga class, “Your only job, the only thing you have to do right now is breathe.” It may sound simple but focusing on your breath can greatly help to reboot and calm your body in times of stress. If you are not familiar with breathing techniques then here are “6 Breathing Exercises to Relax in 10 Minutes or Less.” You are in control, remember that!

9. Exposure, Awareness, And Building Yourself UpWhen I’m going through a really stressful time and my social anxiety is trying to dominate my schedule, in order to get back on track, I start by setting myself up for small wins; I’ll go inside the gas station instead of paying at the pump, I’ll sit for an hour in a coffee shop to do my writing, take a walk in the park or at a shopping center where there are lots of people, have drinks or brunch with a girlfriend and then dinner with a group. By the time I get to my toughest goal, I’ve already experienced several wins and now have added confidence that I can take with me into more stressful social situations.

10. A Conversation Can Make All The DifferenceIf you are battling with social anxiety, find a close friend or relative you can confide in and share what you are going through. Sometimes just having the conversation and the knowing that you are not alone can make all the difference in the world!

Most importantly remember; you are not alone and that social anxiety is totally figureoutable, treatable, and overcomeable. You got this!