“Pay It Forward” was a movie released in 2000 about a twelve year old boy named Trevor who unknowingly started a huge movement by coming up with an idea for a school project that he called Pay It Forward. The assignment the teacher gave his students was to come up with a plan that would change the world. Trevor’s idea was that one person would do an act of kindness for three people and then each of those three people would do an act of kindness for three people and the acts of kindness would spread around the world. Because Trevor didn’t see the immediate results of those kindnesses, he thinks that the plan was a failure. What he didn’t know was that the movement was working and was having far reaching effects all across the country and people were making a difference just with their small acts of kindness. Many of those acts ended up being bigger than people could ever know because lives were even saved.

It’s a beautiful movie and one I would highly recommend. Before the movie was released, Catherine Ryan Hyde, the author of the 1999 novel, established the Pay It Forward Foundation. According to their website, the Foundation was established “as a catalyst to inspire growth for the Pay It Forward philosophy, acts of kindness among strangers, generating a ripple effect from one person to the next, one community to the next.” (payitforwardfoundation.org)

There was also a Pay It Forward Day established and the website claims that there were over three million people in seventy countries around the world participating in these celebrations in 2015. The next Pay It Forward Day will be on April 28, 2016 and you can go to their website at payitforwardday.com to find out how you and your community can participate.

It always warms my heart when I see people committing random acts of kindness, or even when people go out of their way to help others. I see a lot of these stories on Facebook and many of them have caused me to bawl a river of tears because the stories were so heartwarming. There are many stories where people have nothing and yet they are willing to give everything if it helps anyone in any way. The problem is that so many of us get so busy in our own lives that we don’t think to reach out to others even in the smallest ways.

There are so many things we can do to commit random acts of kindness that won’t take more than a moment or two from our day. Personally, I’ve made it a habit to look for ways to help people when I’m out and about. It doesn’t cost me a thing, but the rewards are great. It not only makes the other person feel good, but it makes me feel good and it lifts all of us up.

There are so many things we can do to make a difference in our own neighborhoods. The other day, my dad’s mower stopped working and our neighbor lent us his one push mower and then came over with his riding mower and helped mow the lawn. It may not have seemed like much to the neighbor, but it was a wonderful gesture to us. That’s being a good neighbor and we so appreciated his kindness! And once in awhile, we see letters to the editor in the Herald Citizen newspaper where someone thanked Cookevillians who went out of their way to help complete strangers.

It really doesn’t take much to be kind. Leo Buscaglia said, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Barbara De Angelis stated, “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and the bless you, the giver.” And Mother Teresa said, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, and kindness in your smile.”

I love it when the Dalai Lama said, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” Can you imagine if all religions had kindness as their core philosophy? Jesus and all the other great spiritual masters taught us to be of service to our fellow beings and to harm no one, but do we follow their teachings?

Committing random acts of kindness is a great way to start. Find ways to pay it forward. Kindness is contagious, and personally, that’s one thing I don’t mind catching and spreading around.

Several weeks ago, I attended an anti-bullying conference at TN Tech where I was introduced to a young high school girl by the name of Rachel Scott. Rachel was always reaching out to those who were different or who were being bullied, and she would go out of her way to make new students feel welcome. She said, “I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.” In her junior year of high school, she wrote an essay titled “My Ethics, My Codes of Life” where she talked about making a difference in the lives of others. Just by doing small things for people could greatly influence their behavior and outlook on life. She admired people such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and others who were the greatest examples of love, compassion, and kindness. The person she admired the most was Anne Frank because in spite of her experiences, Miss Frank made a difference through the writing of her diary. Therefore, Rachel began writing her own diaries where she expressed her feelings, philosophies, and thoughts about how we can help make the world a better place. As Rachel stated, “I am sure that my codes of life may be very different from yours, but how do you know that trust, compassion, and beauty will not make this world a better place to be in and this life a better one to live? My codes may seem like a fantasy that can never be reached, but test them for yourself, and see the kind of effect they have in the lives of people around you. You just may start a chain reaction.” There are countless stories of how Rachel touched the lives of others. She once stood up for a boy with disabilities who was being bullied and became his friend. What she didn’t know was that before she did this, he was getting ready to kill himself. Her kindness gave him hope and he chose life. She was always looking for ways to bring kindness to those around her. She continues to change lives to this day except for one thing. Rachel is no longer with us. Rachel was the first person to die in the Columbine High School shootings. But her legacy lives on because those whose lives she touched organized Rachel’s Challenge where they present programs in schools and other venues teaching children and adults how to make a positive difference. (For more information, please go to www.rachelschallenge.org.) Friends, there are so many people of all ages in the world who are experiencing so much darkness for whatever reasons, and many are becoming desperate because they lose hope. Recently a friend of mine committed suicide and it was heartbreaking. People who kill themselves don’t necessarily want to die; they just want the darkness and pain to end, and all it takes is that one split-second decision of no return. Never take away a person’s hope because that may be all they have left. We need to lift people up and show them unconditional love and acceptance. We have got to stop judging, demonizing, and making people feel worthless or less than. All the great spiritual masters and teachers throughout history knew the importance of unconditional love. There is so much we can do to bring light to someone’s darkness. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” We need to teach our children starting as young as possible to treat people with kindness, to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves, and to choose positive influences. By doing so, they can make a huge difference and be real life heroes. Leo Buscaglia said, “Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.” And I agree with Aesop when he stated, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” Beginning today, let’s all start a chain reaction of kindness without expecting anything in return. If someone does ask how they can return the act of kindness, just ask them to pay it forward. Kindness is contagious; therefore, let’s spread it far and wide. By doing so, we can be the change we wish to see in the world. Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen newspaper November 29, 2013.

Periodically, I have friends and others who reach out to me for advice or counsel when they are experiencing life issues; some minor, some serious. Some go through what I call the “dark night of the soul” and are so deep in despair that I have to encourage them to get professional help. No matter how minor or serious the issue though, I can only trust Spirit to speak through me and give me the right words at the right time. My only purpose is to be there for them in a state of unconditional love, compassion, and kindness; mostly to listen, to understand, without judgment or condemnation, and maybe help them to see things a little more clearly. I can only ask questions and try to offer some suggestions to help them find their own answers. Some may be open to exploring my suggestions; some may not. I also tell them that I can only share what I have learned in my own life based upon my personal beliefs and my own experiences. Then I have to release all attachments to their decisions one way or another. When people are experiencing so much darkness and can’t see any light, it’s like having blinders on; they’re only going to see what they want to see, and that’s usually more darkness. Many become victims and their pain becomes their identity. It’s important to give them words of hope and light. Someone once said, “Never take away a person’s hope because that may be all they have left.” Many times when someone is going through “heavy-duty-life-doo,” they feel very alone, that no one loves them and/or cares, and at the extreme, that their loved ones would be better off without them. This is when people make that drastic decision of no return. It’s not that they want to die; they just want the pain to end. For whatever reasons, they weren’t able to reach out for help, or maybe they did but felt worse because of the kind of help they received. We’re seeing this in many young people now in that many are committing suicide because their pain is so great and they don’t feel that things will ever change. It could be because of their horrendous home lives, traumatic life experiences, or being bullied, but most of all, because they are not feeling loved and accepted for who they are. It’s the same with many adults. People need to know and feel that they are loved. Three of the shortest words in the English language, but three of the most difficult to say for so many, are the words "I love you.” You may think your loved ones know you love them, but they also need to hear it. Add to that, “I appreciate you. I'm proud of you. Because you're in my life, I'm so blessed." We need to say it to our children, parents, relatives, friends, and to everyone we love and care about. Hugs also go a long way and I love hugging people!

The world is changing and people are so busy in their own lives that they don't think about reaching out to others. We may think we have enough of our own problems so why bother with someone else's. But it is only when we do reach out to help others that we help ourselves. If you know someone who is having a rough time, reach out to them! No need to say anything except “What can I do to help?” or “I’m here if you need me.” Call them. Send them a card. Take them a meal. Offer to babysit to give the parents a break. You would be surprised at how much the smallest acts of kindness can change someone’s life! In fact, lives have been saved because someone reached out to someone during their time of suffering and let them know that someone cares. One of my favorite songs is “Reach Out and Touch” and I think the words are very appropriate here (paraphrased). “Reach out and touch, Somebody's hand, Make this world a better place, If you can. Take a little time out of your busy day, To give encouragement, To someone who's lost the way, Or would I be talking to a stone, If I asked you to share a problem that's not your own? We can change things if we start giving. If you see an old friend on the street, And he's down, Remember his shoes could fit your feet. Try a little kindness you'll see. It's something that comes very naturally. We can change things if we start giving.” Let us reach out and touch someone so that we can help make this world a better place…because we can.

Several weeks ago, I attended an anti-bullying conference at TN Tech where I was introduced to a young high school girl by the name of Rachel Scott. Rachel was always reaching out to those who were different or who were being bullied, and she would go out of her way to make new students feel welcome. She said, “I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.” In her junior year of high school, she wrote an essay titled “My Ethics, My Codes of Life” where she talked about making a difference in the lives of others. Just by doing small things for people could greatly influence their behavior and outlook on life. She admired people such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and others who were the greatest examples of love, compassion, and kindness. The person she admired the most was Anne Frank because in spite of her experiences, Miss Frank made a difference through the writing of her diary. Therefore, Rachel began writing her own diaries where she expressed her feelings, philosophies, and thoughts about how we can help make the world a better place. As Rachel stated, “I am sure that my codes of life may be very different from yours, but how do you know that trust, compassion, and beauty will not make this world a better place to be in and this life a better one to live? My codes may seem like a fantasy that can never be reached, but test them for yourself, and see the kind of effect they have in the lives of people around you. You just may start a chain reaction.” There are countless stories of how Rachel touched the lives of others. She once stood up for a boy with disabilities who was being bullied and became his friend. What she didn’t know was that before she did this, he was getting ready to kill himself. Her kindness gave him hope and he chose life. She was always looking for ways to bring kindness to those around her. She continues to change lives to this day except for one thing. Rachel is no longer with us. Rachel was the first person to die in the Columbine High School shootings. But her legacy lives on because those whose lives she touched organized Rachel’s Challenge where they present programs in schools and other venues teaching children and adults how to make a positive difference. (For more information, please go to www.rachelschallenge.org.) Friends, there are so many people of all ages in the world who are experiencing so much darkness for whatever reasons, and many are becoming desperate because they lose hope. Recently a friend of mine committed suicide and it was heartbreaking. People who kill themselves don’t necessarily want to die; they just want the darkness and pain to end, and all it takes is that one split-second decision of no return. Never take away a person’s hope because that may be all they have left. We need to lift people up and show them unconditional love and acceptance. We have got to stop judging, demonizing, and making people feel worthless or less than. All the great spiritual masters and teachers throughout history knew the importance of unconditional love. There is so much we can do to bring light to someone’s darkness. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” We need to teach our children starting as young as possible to treat people with kindness, to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves, and to choose positive influences. By doing so, they can make a huge difference and be real life heroes. Leo Buscaglia said, “Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.” And I agree with Aesop when he stated, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” Beginning today, let’s all start a chain reaction of kindness without expecting anything in return. If someone does ask how they can return the act of kindness, just ask them to pay it forward. Kindness is contagious; therefore, let’s spread it far and wide. By doing so, we can be the change we wish to see in the world. Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen newspaper November 29, 2013.