"If you missed the main issue this month, go back and check, because
there's so much going on... but we seem to have got everything in
there, so this month's last post is exceptionally short. Whew!"

...although there *is* some good late-breaking news. So off we go...

 Annie Mac, Editor

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02) THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
by Fernando Magnifico

Hallo my friends, it is I, Fernando Magnifico, writing to you from
the Le Pisoir d'Or in Genua, a most friendly and understanding
hotel, which is the molto bene for Fernando has had the terrible
disasters and arrived here in Genua without even the trousers off
his back! Fortunately, the concierge is the most hospitable man who
fits Fernando like the glove. Fernando has borrowed the most
magnificent citron satin trousers and is again fit to be seen in
public.

My friends, as you know Fernando has been called home to Brindisi to
deal with the great and terrible sauce crisis. Things have gotten
worse: Auntie Maria has taken to hitting people with her broom more
than usual, Uncle Enzo and Uncle Alfonzo have blackened each other's
eye, and Aunt Malvasia isn't speaking to anyone except to shout at
them. Poor cousin Luciano is so upset by the arguments that he is
off his feed. They tell Fernando that he only ate half a sheep last
week. But do not be afeared for Fernando's family, for Fernando is
only a few days away from Brindisi by ship (provided he is not
captured by the Dread and Beautiful Pirate Queen of Mante, Captain
Roberta, again.)

They say that bad news comes in threes, or sometimes fours or fives,
and so it is with Fernando who has the more bad news. (If Fernando
did not know better, he would suspect the hand of Carlos in this.
But Fernando shall not speak of Carlos.) Fernando's luggage is still
lost, including his star charts. The kind lady at the coach company
tells Fernando that they are pretty sure they have found the luggage
now, apparently it has accidentally been sent to No Thingfjord where
one of Fernando's pants fell out of the case and caused a small
riot. And since the Lady Anaemia Asterisk has come down with
aardvarks again, there will be no horoscopes this month. But do not
be afeared my friends, for Fernando shall instead tell you the true
tale of how he got to Genua without his luggage, his money, or his
silk trousers.

As Fernando's dedicated readers will know, Fernando was last on the
riverboat on the Vieux (masculine) River, with only the clothes on
his back after his luggage was accidentally put on the wrong coach
and sent to Howondaland. But Fernando did not let this spoil his
journey, for such are the trials that Fate sends to test those as
magnificent as Fernando. And so it was that Fernando was on the
riverboat with no luggage, only the small bottle of his special hair
creme, a single pair of silk trousers, and yet still determined to
be as magnificent as he can be.

And so it was that Fernando came to meet the young lady who Fernando
shall call "Signorina X" so as to protect her honour. Signorina X
had been playing the friendly card game with Mr Frank and his
friends against the strict instructions of her brothers. Alas my
friends, sometimes the Lady smiles upon the ladies, and sometimes
She does not, and this was one of those times, for Signorina X lost
her money, her purse, and the locket her dearest mamma had given
her. Of course Fernando cannot bear to see the signorina in
distress, and so he took it upon himself to win Signorina X's locket
back for her. Fernando's many hours playing Cripple Mister Onion
with Uncle Enzo paid off, for Fernando was able to sneak the locket
off the table while Mr Frank was counting his winnings.

It cost Fernando $37, but the look of gratitude on Signorina X's
face when he presented her with the locket was worth every penny.
She was so overcome by emotion that she felt faint, and so Fernando
of course immediately loosened her corset, thinking only of her
health you understand, for Fernando is always thinking about the
importance of the good pair of healthy lungs for the womans. And so
it was by the purest chance, with Fernando's hands occupied with the
corset, that the button of his silk trousers popped loose, and
Signorina X (being a kindly and thoughtful young woman) immediately
grabbed the trousers. Purely to stop them from sliding down to his
ankles, of course.

And that was the very moment that her brothers returned to the
cabin.

Mia cara, Fernando is not the stranger to the suspicions of those
who are jealous of his magnificence, but it continues to stab him in
the heart like the ice-cold dagger each time. And so it was the
Fernando shortly found himself heaved off the riverboat into the
river, a three day walk away from Genua, without his luggage, his
money, or his trousers. (Although fortunately Fernando did manage to
save the bottle of hair creme.)

My friends, Fernando must go now, for his ship leaves in two hours
and Fernando wishes to pay a visit to Lieutenant Courgette of the
Genua Watch to find out whether the stories about her magnificent
eyelashes are true. Until next month, ciao bella!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

03) LATE BREAKING NEWS, AND CLOSE

3.1 THE DODGER LAUNCH PARTY

Last week, Team Pratchett celebrated the launch of Dodger, in London
at The House of St. Barnabas:

"Founded as a charity in 1846, the historic building now acts as an
altruistic members club which supports London's homeless by helping
them back into sustainable employment. The house and courtyard are
also said to have inspired the residence of Dr. Manette and Lucy in
Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, making it the perfect venue
for the occasion. Guests, who included Sir David Jason, AS Byatt and
Michael Fenton Stevens were served pale ale from London's St Peter's
Brewery and entertained by a Punch and Judy puppet act. Many chose
to stay true to the Dickensian theme and there was a magnificent
array of Victorian costume to be seen throughout the evening..."

The page is full of wonderful photos of the event, including Sir
Pterry dressed as Dodger and Rob and Pratchett Junior looking spiffy
indeed in matching period costume. Go look!

Also-also, for those of you who missed Rob Wilkins' birthday last
week (24th September), do join with WOSSNAME in wishing him a
belated best!

3.2 A WIBBLY WOBBLY TIMEY WIMEY FUNDRAISER FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH

Since so many of us Pratchett fans are also Doctor Who fans:

"A host of celebrity Doctor Who fans have shared their memories of
the science-fiction drama in a new book entitled Behind the Sofa, to
boost funds for Alzheimer's Research UK. Al Murray, Jonathan Ross,
Chris Tarrant, Lynda Bellingham and Martina Cole are among over 100
famous contributors. Compiled by author Steve Berry, the book will
be published on 27 September. Behind the Sofa also contains
recollections from a number of former stars of the long-running BBC
series, including Hugh Bonneville and Tracy-Ann Oberman. The book
will be available in hardback and eBook format and all proceeds will
be donated to Alzheimer's Research UK, the UK's leading dementia
research charity...."

"We've had lots of questions recently about registration. I want to
re-assure everyone that, all being well, registration will be back
up next week and that NADWCon 2013 is definitely going ahead as
planned. Once registration is open again, the reduced rate of $88
will be held for 8-days. When I say 'all being well' it is probably
best to elaborate on why registration has taken so long to come back
up. So if you're interested please read on.

"Registration was taken offline on the 31st July. Although this
coincided with our last day at the reduced rate it was actually the
credit card processing that resulted in us having to suspend
registration. The underwriters for our credit card processor at the
time pulled the plug on us with little to no warning. Some of you
would have received credit card not approved messages. Since then we
had to seek a new credit card processor and not end up in the same
boat. Many of the credit card processors we approached used the same
underwriter. Our new credit card processor is BluePay and their
underwriters approved us at the end of August. However, as part of
being able to take credit card payments online we also have to be
PCI-DSS compliant. And it is this that has taken a little time in
completing. We successfully tested the registration system last week
and are waiting on the final steps of PCI-DSS approval which
involves a vulnerability scan of our payment servers. This is
scheduled to take place next week and 'all being well' we will pass
with flying colours.

"I appreciate that for you, the fans, this may have been a
frustrating time. I hope you'll all appreciate that the ConCom have
been working diligently to get registration back online and in doing
so are protecting you and your sensitive data. That being said, we
hope you'll all be joining us for this fantastic convention in
2013!"

"The presence of a 'significant population' of wild orang utans in
Ulu Sungai Menyang, Lubok Antu district has been confirmed through a
recent survey led by Forest Department Sarawak (FDS) under the Heart
of Borneo (HoB) initiative. It is a milestone for the state as it is
believed to be the first wild orang utan population discovered
outside of a national park or sanctuary. According to a FDS press
statement, the population of wild orang utans in the state was
previously believed to be between 1,200 to 3,000 individuals, with
95 per cent of the state's orang utans found in the Batang Ai
National Park and Lanjak Entimau Wildlife Sanctuary. With this new
finding, the state's estimated orang utan population could increase
by as much as 15 per cent. The local Iban community, tour guides and
foreign tourists have previously reported sightings of orang utans
in Ulu Sungai Menyang, which is situated between the Upper Ai River,
the Indonesian border and the Batang Ai Lake. However, this is the
first time that researchers have officially recorded and established
the presence of orang utans in the area..."

...and the Historic Mounds Theatre's production of Guards! Guards!,
which finished its run yesterday, featured a Librarian whose costume
design seems to owe a certain conceptual nod to the parrot in the
National Theatre production of Nation a few years ago: