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Frusetta is a rancher himself, and given to wearing a 10-gallon hat. So it seems only natural that he would like to do something for his fellow ranchers and growers.

Here's his peach of an idea: Let's require grocers to display the nation of origin for all fruits, vegetables and raw meats. Violators could be fined $1,000 for the first day, and $250 for every day thereafter they failed to display the right nation, or any nation at all.

And this is from a member of the Republican Party, the one that always promises to get government off the backs of business.

The grocers, who flex a lot of muscle in the Capitol, are opposed.

Frusetta's imaginative agenda doesn't stop here, however. He has another bill that would require Caltrans to put a sign on Highway 56 directing motorists to the new San Juan Oaks Golf Club in his district.

Does it really require two committee hearings in each house, a vote on the floor and signature by the governor to get a sign for a golf course? This is a nation of laws run amok.

Here's one from the brain of Senator Dick Monteith, R-Modesto. He wants to exempt oxygen bought by fish farms from sales taxes. Huh?

The state does not now collect sales tax for medicines used for animals raised for human consumption. But oxygen doesn't qualify, says the Board of Equalization.

Not so fast, say the fish farmers. Oxygen relieves the stress suffered by the sturgeon in their tanks. Monteith wants to relieve their stress, at a cost of $12,500 to the state in reduced sales taxes. It's too bad the fish can't file workers' comp claims. But a few years ago, the Legislature and Governor Wilson made it harder to file stress claims for humans.

Not to let Republicans show their monopoly as the party of ideas, here are some from the Democrats. Assemblywoman Sarah Reyes, D-Fresno, wants the state to give the city of Fresno $125,000 for "downtown revitalization activities." Or really just for the hell of it.

The amount, cleverly, is under the $150,000 threshold in the Assembly Appropriations Committee that would send the measure to the "suspense file" of big spending items. It could die there without a trace. Now it can go forth as a kind of petty theft.

Assemblyman John Dutra, D-Fremont, has his answer to the Y2K problem -- fix prices.

Try to follow along here. Dutra's bill would make it a misdemeanor to raise retail prices of any consumer item more than 10 percent above the cost on Oct. 1, 1999, until April 1, 2000.

So when we emerge from our bunkers next spring, things will cost pretty much what they did when we hid on the eve of the great computer crash.

And whom will we have to thank for this miracle? Dutra and Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante, sponsor of the measure.

Playing to type is the Western States Petroleum Association, the lobbying front for the oil companies. WSPA is opposed, of course. What better time to jack up gasoline prices than during a crisis, perceived or otherwise?

Assemblyman Ed Vincent, D-Inglewood, has the answer to another critical problem, abandoned animals.

It is already illegal in California to abandon a dog or a cat. Vincent wants to make it illegal to turn loose any animal. Violators could get six months in the slammer and a $1,000 fine.

Imagine California's already clogged courts suddenly taking on jury trials for folks who let their Easter rabbit or duck run free. Perhaps those aren't great practices, environmentally speaking, but six months in jail seems excessive.

But the winner of the creative legislation competition goes to Assemblyman Robert Pacheco, R-Walnut.

He wants anyone who sells drugs within a trailer park to get an extra year in state prison.

These bills have been all the rage in recent years. Peddling drugs near schools, synagogues, churches, playgrounds, youth centers, day care facilities can get extra time for the seller.

Whoever has the political oomph can get a special punishment for drug dealers in their neighborhood. Pacheco's bill is backed by the Western Mobilehome Parkowners Association, which has plenty of oomph around the Capitol.

And politics makes it easier to say yes to such silly ideas. Anyone who votes "no" will be targeted in election-year mailers as "soft on crime." What a system!

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