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05. September 2014

SOLITARY REPORTER LAUNCHES CAREER AS MEDICAL TOURIST IN NEW HAMPSHIRE;McDONNELL LEAVES EVERYTHING UP TO GOD AND THE FOURTH CIRCUIT; HILLARY'S CAMPAIGN STRATEGY

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA – Moments after a federal jury convicted former Virginia governor Bob McDonnell yesterday of official corruption for accepting $165,000 in goodies from dietary supplement
manufacturer Johnnie Williams, DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D.-Fla.) appeared on the steps of the courthouse here to criticize her fellow Democrat, Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe (himself
really good as a big money in politics guy) for expressing sympathy for McDonnell. Wasserman Schultz’ appearance was chronicled by a solitary reporter who had recently returned from his adventure
as a medical tourist in New Hampshire. Wasserman Schultz had herself recently been in Milwaukee walking back on her entirely appropriate denunciation of Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker for dissing
women.

“I’m leaving my fate entirely in the hands of the Lord,” McDonnell said, desperately hoping that the federal Court of Appeals will reverse his conviction. If McDonnell wins on appeal, he will
then be able to persuade ignorant-and-proud-of-it voters to elect him as president in a few years, but only if he can win the support of the Koch Brothers.

Meanwhile, in Mexico, keynoting a fundraiser for Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim’s foundation, Hillary Clinton announced that when she runs for president in 2016, she will be doing at least some
of her campaigning south of the border, “Just to show Rick Perry who’s who."