Marriage Help

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend about tolerance in our world. I believe we have strayed far away from truth so much that we are blinded as a world by tolerance. The following Sunday after this conversation was had, I was at a service at our church and Pastor Clint throws out this quote: “We live in a society that has exalted things like tolerance, diversity, peace, and harmony so much that I fear we may value them more than TRUTH.” – Clint Sprague This started me on a quest throughout the last couple of weeks of looking for the tolerance around me. As a therapist, many of my patients are a reflection of tolerance taken too far. They moved too far from the “truth line” and are struggling with getting back on track. We are not intended to do life alone so getting some feedback

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Have you ever wondered why you selected the person that you did to be your significant other or spouse? Did you create the list of all of the qualities that you wanted and go after that person? Or did you decide that the person that found you or came across your path was just the right one without having to put a lot of effort into analyzing if it would work or not? Did you end up selecting someone just like your mom or dad without even intending to? I’m going to suggest there was more underneath the surface in your selection that what you think! I often hear women say that they married someone just like their dad and men say they married someone just like their mom. Maybe you have said that many times to yourself or maybe in the midst of a lovers spat you have used

A few years back on one of our weekly date nights, my wife and I were watching the movie “Water for Elephants”. As we were watching, I was reminded of how distorted relationships can be in our romanticized culture today. If you haven’t seen the movie, the main story line is about an attractive young man (Jacob) who is left broke and homeless after his parents’ untimely death. These events lead him to joining the circus as a vet where he would find himself working under an unstable and abusive boss by the name of August. August is Married to an attractive woman named Marlena who quickly becomes the apple of Jacob’s eye. I will spare you what happens in the movie in case you haven’t seen it, but you can imagine how a love triangle unfolds pretty quickly in this story. I found myself toward the end of the

One definition of the word “influence” is: The capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself. Influence has always been something that has amazed me. People can be influenced by many different things in many different ways. Some people are easily influenced by others. Some people are influencers and have a tendency to influence everyone that they are around. At some level each of us has influence over the people around us, especially in our marriage. It is up to us to determine “what”, “how” and “why” we influence others. Who are you? What do you believe about you? What is your deepest “Why?” These are questions that each of us will come across and start to answer if we intentionally move toward growth. They are also important questions for us to answer as we look at how we