First up is “The Wa-hey”, which GoSkydive have described as “That moment when you’re about to land and your instructor is all calm and you’re still screaming with your eyes closed not knowing you’ve touched down.”

For the benefit of skydiving novices, they’ve helpfully likened this one to Fred’s aforementioned spill. The infamous episode saw him collapse backwards, as if yanked down by a phantom tug. Referee Yuichi Nishimura *fell* for it (pardon the pun), and the resulting spot-kick saw Brazil squeak past Croatia.

Despite having never skydived (or is that skydove?), I can safely say GoSkydive have stuck the landing on this one. There seemed to be lots of screaming and eye-closing by Brazil’s number 9. And plenty of arm-flailing, for good measure, possibly for style points.

Another favourite is the “We Weren’t Ready Yet!”

Featuring a flopping Paul Pogba, GoSkydive claim it’s akin to “That moment when you’re pushed out the plane and you weren’t quite ready – and your mate isn’t too happy about it either!” Accordingly, Pogba’s face is a picture of disgruntled alarm.

Ranked number seven was the “You’renotcomingin,son”, which I found rather strange.

The description read “You’ve spent hours, days perfecting your act, only to flop and be shown the door”, which doesn’t really have anything to do with simulation, or even parachuting, for that matter. It is, however, a perfect description of England’s World Cup.

At #4 we have the “Banana Split”, which apparently is typified by “The look of horror when you realise you’ve nearly done the splits and are wearing yellow….You know the banana split jokes are coming!”

This is accompanied by a photo of Marcelo’s laughably cynical simulation attempt against Mexico. Bedecked in yellow, with legs splayed apart, the Brazilian’s facial expression ably demonstrates what an uncomfortable diving position this is, just in case there were any doubts.

Finally, in top spot, exemplifying a “flawlesstechnique” is Robin van Persie. Referring to his famous diving header against Spain, GoSkydive describe the Dutchman as “oozing confidence, gliding through the air…”

But alas, this perfect form is beyond mere mortals, they say, adding “…then you wake up!”

Technically it wasn’t a ‘dive’, but nevertheless I think it’s fair to say it justifies its #1 ranking.

Disagree? Think GoSkydive have missed any? Let them know by sending your best World Cup dives to @GoSkydive with hashtag #DivingDivas

About The Author

Ben Weich, a Tottenham Hotspur fan based in Manchester, UK, is an aspiring sports journalist and recent Economics graduate. He’s written for a number of blogs and local newspapers, and will begin an NCTJ diploma in sports journalism in September 2014.
You can find him on Twitter via @benweich

One Response

Alex GagoJuly 9, 2014

I’m glad you wrote this and from watching many decades of World Cup Soccer all have some sort of negative controversy that has tainted the image of the game. From Maradona’s hand ball in 1986 and to 2014 Robben flop these players will wear that title for there rest of their life. I’m not sure if I would want to bare that title?