Lindsay Lohan heads back to court. George Clooney's girlfriend "debuts" in a see-through dress. Robert Downey Jr. demands forgiveness for Mel Gibson. Monday gossip turns to a life of crime.

Wounded magpie Lindsay Lohan heads back to court on Wednesday for a probation progress report. Because she fucked up community service and has been shirking on court-ordered therapy, she "could be sentenced to nearly a year and a half in jail" if the judge thinks this warrants a probation violation. The filthy-toothed starlet claims she has been doing her weekly 1-hour therapy sessions by phone, but hasn't explained why she's so disastrously behind on community service. She allegedly skips out of her mandatory 4-hour service sessions after only an hour, too, which could also be a problem! Are we sick of this same old song, yet? I'm getting sick of this same old song. [TMZ, image via WENN]

Justin Bieber has so far dropped an estimated $1 million on girlfriend Selena Gomez. Such is the life of a skinny boy trying to keep the attention a hot, slightly older chick. [InTouch via Celebitchy]

Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz went to a burlesque show, where a drag queen "took Eduardo's face in her hands and rubbed it into her chest while Eva laughed hysterically." Weird bedroom antics that night, I bet. [People]

George Clooney and lady wrestler girlfriendStacy Keibler made their "red carpet debut as a couple." I spy with my two little eyes: Underboob, bellybutton, no panties. Dress creates the illusion of high-cut 1991 panties, though. [Us]

Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lopez are "together again?" J.Lo is playing shy this time, covering her face with her hands while riding shotgun in Bradley's car.[People]

Robert Downey Jr. thinks Hollywood should forgive Mel Gibson: "Unless you are without sin—and if you are, you are in the wrong fucking industry—you should forgive him and let him work again." Since his latest spree of incorrigible awfulness, Mel has already starred in one movie and started work on another, so I'm not sure what RDJ is so upset about? I reserve the right to hate Mel and Robert forever, on principle. My hatred rises up against its star-studded oppressors. [E!]

Girl with a Dragon Tattoo director David Fincher on casting Rooney Mara instead of Scarlett Johansson: "Scarlett Johansson was great. It was a great audition, I'm telling you. But the thing with Scarlett is, you can't wait for her to take her clothes off." Lisbeth Salander "should be like E.T.," unattractive until "he hides under the table and he grabs the Reese's Pieces," Fincher explains. [Vogue]

Tilda Swinton went to the same boarding school as Princess Diana, and hated it. "I don't think I spoke for five years." [Celebitchy, Guardian]

During a routine mammogram during IVF treatment, Giuliana Rancic's doctors discovered an early stage of breast cancer. The TV host will undergo surgery and six weeks of radiation therapy. "I still want this baby… because this baby has saved my life." [People]

Still in California for military training, Prince Harry continues to party his face off in San Diego. That city is totally having a moment! First Ashton Kutcher's hot tub raw dog, now this. TMZ should open a San Diego office. [Us]

Kelly Osbourne called Christina Aguilera fat, again. Discussing the outfit at right on Fashion Police: "She called me fat for years. I was never that fat." Or, as Brian Moylan said on our barely veiled Fashion Police rip-off Gawkerazzi, "Miss Piggy throwing a diva tantrum." [Us, images via Getty]

Thirteen star Nikki Reed married American Idol boyfriend Paul McDonald after two months of dating. As of last month, he hadn't watched any of her movies. [Us]