What Couples Can Learn From Olympic Athletes

I am not much of a sportsperson but I still find myself enjoying this year's summer Olympics. What has impressed me most is how all the teams work together.

I especially loved watching the women's swim and gymnastic teams work in unison with each woman fighting for the whole to win a gold medal for her team. They did not get to think about themselves, but rather they thought about each other and worked toward the greater good. If one person had felt tired, carried a grudge or did not feel like competing, she would have jeopardized the entire team. Want A Relationship? Why You Shouldn't Have Casual Sex

This made me think about the couples I coach and how they mostly fight for themselves and their own needs and they are not on the same team. They are rooting for only for themselves and not for each other or relationship as a whole.

If couples would just stop arguing for what they want and get on the same side, they would see a whole different way of being in relationship together. They would stop seeing their partner as the problem and start to see that their negative attitudes and opposition to one another are the problems.

I often question why my husband and me never fight. We have conflicts, but we resolve them with lightening speed. I am realizing that this is because we always fight for the same team; it's not Benjamin verses Lisa but rather us verses the issue.

We don't think about ourselves and our individual needs because we want what's best for our partner and for the relationship. It's clear to us that, if our relationship is not good, neither one of us will feel good.

In my first marriage, my first husband and I approach fighting and arguing like they were competitive sports. I prided myself on being an excellent debater. Help! My Husband No Longer Needs Me