So I Finally Watched The Farewell Interviews.

It’s been a ridiculously, batshit crazy fairy busy past few weeks for me and I only just got a chance to sit down and watch a few of the post-elimination/locker room clean-out interviews. Since my memory of what went wrong has pretty much been reduced to “Where the eff was the Sabres top line?” and *thinks about Halak and runs off to rock back and forth in the corner*, I decided I would only watch one per team so I didn’t reopen any old wounds.

I decided to start with Nicki, because let’s be realistic: if you’re going to be watching something that will depress you merely because of what it is, that adorable ball of fudge will make it better.

I’m glad he seems to realize that they need to get their act together last year. I hope he realizes how I’ll never be able to take him completely seriously with all that blond hair. I admire his decision to wear that shirt. I thoroughly enjoy the part about two and a half minutes in when, after discussing how they need to learn, he goes, “Soooooo….”

If George McPhee does not re-sign him I will personally go to Washington and lead a revolt.

Then I went on over to the Sabres website. Since the only Sabres I’m currently not mad at for various reasons are Ryan Miller and Tyler Ennis, and I decided I wanted one last moment with the mustache, I picked Miller.

I enjoyed his postgamer because I like his suit, he’s good and pissed and looks like he wants to shank his teammates (I’m still fully on board with him slashing all of them in their sleep) and because he says “post mortem.” Well played, Mr. Miller.

I only made it forty seconds into the locker room clean out because then he said “autopsy” and I started laughing so I stopped watching. I feel so bad for that guy. Yes, he may not have been quite as insanely good as he was during the Olympics, but still, he needed a little more than what he got from his teammates. I sincerely hope he marches into Darcy’s office and demands some good players who don’t pull disappearing acts in the playoffs. I ADORE Tyler Ennis, but when he’s your best forward in the playoffs you have problems.

And now going back and watching these interviews makes me miss them all. D-bags.

FYI…

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