Time to cash in these famous 'clunkers'

Thursday

Jul 30, 2009 at 12:01 AMJul 30, 2009 at 10:44 AM

The government “Cash for Clunkers” program got us thinking: If Hollywood started trading in "clunkers" for updated and more fuel-efficient versions, which vehicles would we like to see traded in? We whittled down a huge list of famous cars to the top 10 we’d trade in (sorry, Mr. T, the A-Team van didn’t make it), and here are our picks. One caveat: Since this is a work of pure fantasy, we’re not basing this on the government trade-in rules -- find those on Cars.gov -- which have a stipulation on model year, among others.

The government “Cash for Clunkers” program got us thinking: If Hollywood started trading in "clunkers" for updated and more fuel-efficient versions, which vehicles would we like to see traded in?

We whittled down a huge list of famous cars to the top 10 we’d trade in (sorry, Mr. T, the A-Team van didn’t make it), and here are our picks. One caveat: Since this is a work of pure fantasy, we’re not basing this on the government trade-in rules -- find those on Cars.gov -- which have a stipulation on model year, among others.

The General Lee
As seen in: The original “The Dukes of Hazzard”
Vehicle type: 1969 Dodge Charger
Approximate mpg: 15
Why it should be traded in: First off, the Duke boys need a car that actually has functioning doors. They also could outrun Boss Hogg and his cronies easier if they had a machine that could go farther on a tank of gas.

Optimus Prime
As seen in: The “Transformers” movies
Vehicle type: Peterbilt 379
Approximate mpg: 6
Why it should be traded in: One of the questions that nagged us when watching the “Transformers” films was, “Why doesn’t Optimus ever run out of gas?” And maybe he just needs premium grade to avoid getting his butt kicked, but c’mon – a semi truck? Next time Optimus dies, they should rebuild him as a Ford Escape Hybrid or something.

Doc Brown’s DeLorean
As seen in: “Back to the Future” movies
Vehicle type: Modified DeLorean DMC-12
Approximate mpg: 19
Why it should be traded in: The flux capacitor might not need gas, but the DeLorean still needs it to get to 88 mph, and if money is no object (how did Doc afford this car, anyway?), Doc should get Marty a more powerful, more fuel-efficient model.

The Ectomobile, aka Ecto–1
As seen in: “Ghostbusters”
Vehicle type: 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteor
Approximate mpg: 20
Why it should be traded in: After factoring in all the ghost-fighting equipment The Ectomobile needs, it’s a gas-guzzler. The Ghostbusters could also use a vehicle with more get up and go, something like the Jeep Compass, perhaps.

Herbie
As seen in: “The Love Bug,” “Herbie: Fully Loaded”
Vehicle type: 1963 Volkswagen Beetle
Approximate mpg: 31
Why it should be traded in: Herbie gets great gas mileage, but he could use a more powerful engine and an upgraded look – who would take a Beetle seriously in a road race?

The Bluesmobile
As seen in: “The Blues Brothers”
Vehicle type: 1974 Dodge Monaco
Approximate mpg: 16
Why it should be traded in: This car can haul (120 mph!), but a more modern police-style car would hit the same speeds and get much better gas mileage. The Bluesmobile could certainly take a beating, too, but today’s cars are overall safer -- and they could flip backward just as well.

K.I.T.T.
As seen in: The original “Knight Rider”
Vehicle type: 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am
Approximate mpg: 15
Why it should be traded in: K.I.T.T. was a smart car, all right, but the truth is, he’s a gas-guzzler. In the new “Knight Rider” series, K.I.T.T. is a Ford Shelby GT500KR Mustang, another guzzler. How about installing all that technology in a Pontiac Solstice?

Christine
As seen in: “Christine” movie (based on the Stephen King book)
Vehicle type: 1958 Plymouth Fury
Approximate mpg: 13
Why it should be traded in: You know what a really evil vehicle is? The Hummer. (Kidding, Hummer fans!) But a car with better gas mileage and oomph could definitely wreak more havoc, so how about a – er, on second thought, we don’t need a more efficient killer car.

Cameron Frye’s dad’s Ferrari
As seen in: “Ferris Bueller's Day Off”
Vehicle type: 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California
Approximate mpg: 13
Why it should be traded in: Sure, the Ferrari helped make Ferris and Cameron cool, but only 13 mpg? The boys could drive around Chicago in style and get way better mileage nowadays. Right, Bueller? Bueller? ... Bueller? …

Wagon Queen Family Truckster
As seen in: “National Lampoon's Vacation”
Vehicle type: Modified Ford LTD Country Squire, seventh generation
Approximate mpg: 15
Why it should be traded in: We all have fond memories of the family station wagon, but Clark Griswold’s wagon topped them all in terms of ugliness. The Griswolds need to modernize with something like a Volkswagen Jetta SportWagen.

GateHouse News Service

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