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I'm a natural parent, but...it took me awhile

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.

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I knew I wanted to breastfeed. That was about the extent of my "natural parenting" when I first became a mom. I didn't even know what natural parenting was at the time. Breastfeeding was the gateway to more natural parenting for me, but it would take awhile before I really caught on.

When I was pregnant for the first time, I chose an obstetrician affiliated with a large, Boston teaching hospital. I thought: "We have some of the finest hospitals in the world! I would be a fool to birth my baby anywhere else!" At the "meet the doctors" event just prior to giving birth, *I* was the one who asked how quickly I could get an epidural once admitted. Needless to say, my first birth was highly medicalized. Fortunately, I was able to endure a few early weeks of wondering if I would really be able to breastfeed successfully. At eight weeks, I ignored my pediatrician's advice about "self-soothing babies" and brought my baby girl to sleep with me in my bed. Ahhhh.

A few months went by, I stumbled upon Dr. Sears and Attachment Parenting, and realized that it fit with my current parenting practices, like on-demand breastfeeding, co-sleeping, responsive parenting, and babywearing. Still, I was a long way from fully recognizing and appreciating what Natural Parenting meant. I fed my baby Gerber (not even organic! gasp!) and never thought twice about it. She was fully vaccinated and I never blinked an eye. She watched a lot of television while wearing her Pampers. She had lots of plastic, commercialized toys and apparel. Yep, I was a long way from truly appreciating Natural Parenting.

Not surprisingly, I returned to the same obstetrician for my second pregnancy and had another highly-medicalized birth. I continued all of my Attachment Parenting practices from the start with my baby boy and felt very strongly that he would not be circumcised. When he was four-months-old, I switched to all cloth diapers, and eventually started making my own baby food. Ok, I was getting there...

A few months later, when all of my two-year-old's friends were heading off to various preschools here in the city, (yes, preschool typically starts at age two here), I began researching homeschooling more seriously and became instantly hooked. Closer....

Then I had my third baby, my homebirth baby, and, finally, I understood the power and pleasure of living and parenting naturally. I began to fully question "expert" advice and generally accepted actions. I adopted "greener," more sustainable homemaking practices. I began making meals from scratch and buying local, organic food. I switched our doctors and focused more intently on natural family health and well-being. I started knitting.

I still have further to go, still much, much more to learn and do, along the Natural Parenting continuum. But I'm getting there. Gratefully, I'm getting there.

Join the City Kids Homeschooling Facebook community!

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This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

My kid is a technophile — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction hasn't turned in her natural parenting card yet, even though her son prefers electronic toys

Why we aren't rear facing — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about her decision to turn her one-year-old daughter's carseat around, and how the argument always given for extended rear facing makes her feel.

Minus Ten Crunchy Points — Joella at Fine and Fair discusses how some of her parenting choices seen as "too crunchy" by those she knows in real life could get her kicked out of the crunchy mom clubs online.

The Natural Parent "Model" — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about her love for not-so-natural cosmetics and beauty products.

Nice to meet you. — Eileen at Love & Greens talks about how being a natural mama means something different to her every day.

I’m a natural parent…BUT… — Ashley at Daisy Pedals touches on several natural parenting topics; from cloth diapers to cleaning with natural cleaners.

Natural Parenting as a Doorway to Deep Truths — Amy from Peace for Parents guest posts at Natural Parents Network and shares how for her "natural parenting" is much less about a definition and much more an avenue to explore truths of life.

Chicken No-nos — Jessica at Pace Family Place strives to live naturally but feeds her oldest son some not-so natural things

12 comments:

that sounds like my exact journey haha. Seriously, I stumbled upon everything by accident afte rlistening to my own instincts. I still have never homebirthed though, I am in awe of mamas who have done it!

I think it's so important to have voices like yours in the NP community - often moms think if i didn't start out this way, it's hard to catch up, or I've "scarred" my children. Not so! I've been following your blog for awhile now (we're neighbors - I'm in WR/Boston =) and am so impressed with all you do! Thanks for sharing your journey. If we do this again in a year, it will be interesting to see how we continue to evolve!

It's such a crazy journey, isn't it? I stumbled across natural parenting so randomly after my daughter was born and it took several months to get fully 'into' it. In many ways I've become an entirely different person. And there will always be further to go...

What a great post Kerry! Your journey is relatable to me, and many more I'm sure.

My mouth might have actually dropped when you said you had a homebirth for your third baby because "I didn't think you could do that!". As hard as I try to eliminate assumptions now, this reminded me of how far I have to go.

My favorite line of this whole carnival was yours "I started knitting". For some reason, this sums it all up.

Thanks so much for honestly sharing your journey. This mama appreciates it :)

It is a process, this getting back to basics. I think that most of us are combating our own programming from a vastly different parenting approach and it is a learning curve adopting a more compassionate and supportive way of being with our children. The effort we make however will be that much less for our own children to tackle when they become parents themselves.

I love this!! My path is so similar. My first was born in one of the top five hospitals in the country. My second, with a midwife, at a smaller, regional hospital. My third, a homebirth, and there's no turning back!! I cloth diapered from the start, but persistently put my first baby in her own crib, in her own room, listening to generations of advice that went against my gut, but still... My second slept in our bed for over a year, and our third is still there. We followed a similar toy path, I imagine. All this to say that this post makes me smile and feel so much like a part of a community. You know you've found your parenting groove when it all feels right—despite the fact that your arm is numb from a baby sleeping on it all night! LOL

This carnival has been so much fun to be a part of! I have been especially delighted to hear that many mamas out there have taken a similar path as mine to natural parenting....slow to start and then full-speed ahead!

It reminded me of my first baby and how much I struggled before I finally ignored the professional advice on sleep and turned to my instincts. We don't know the first time around, do we? All these professionals seem so well-informed and who are we to think we know more? I'm so glad that you managed to regain your power as a natural mum.

About Me

Kerry McDonald, M.Ed., lives in Cambridge with her husband and four, never-been-schooled children. She is passionate about child-led unschooling, Attachment Parenting, homebirthing, holistic health, and urban homesteading. Kerry has a Bachelor's degree in Economics and Environmental Studies from Bowdoin College and a Master's degree in Education Policy from Harvard University. Click the photo above to contact Kerry.