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I will pout as long as the world lasts or the Liberals bow down to me, said the NDP Leader. “It’s my turn, damn it, my turn mommy, it’s mine,” Mr Horgan said while having his diaper changed.
“I demand to have the power,” he said. going (and on), “don’t my tears count as anything?”
“I will hold my breath and pout, I shall control BC, not the Liberals under any leader, or turn blue….” he went on, making the reporter’s stringer wish he learned how to hold it.
“Sure he’s infantile,” said the BC Greens Leader, “but he is still denying our independence if it says it stops Christy Clarke, despite not…hmmm…”
He had no position on pouting saying it’s going to be discussed at the next AGM if there is a BC Green Party still.

PRETENDVILLE, STEAM – After years, decades and multiple tours and kills and re-spawning due to death and injury a middle aged man demands respect.
“I deserve a purple heart,” he yelled being turned down health treatment at the Veteran’s Hospital. “I put my life on the line for my country!” he said with a straight face.
George Nehrjok claimed the other day “It wasn’t playing plumber lost in toad stools.” “It was realism, it was adult.”
“If it weren’t for me, we’d suffer more terror attacks!” he shouted as the Vet refused to pay for his gaming seat bed soar. “This is how it is, your country demands your life, and you give it….” when questioning if he had a life to offer by this reporter he went off, “You weren’t there man! How never saw the frame rates I saw!” and quickly stormed off to start his campaign for Vice President in something by Altus.
The Veteran’s Hospital and Affairs Department were laughing too hard to provide a response.

DENHOGG, NED – Canada is more than thrilled to extradite a noted child exploiter in the name of Amanda Todd, but not why you may think.
After a few months time served Aydin Coban plans to start a production company with Swirl Face, “It’s always nice to see our Film Industry grow,” said head of the City Film Quango, “we need to replace Lucifer somehow, and this is closer to the real thing.”
The Canadian Paedophile Protection Agency’s the Rt. Honorable Esy Rolise said “They did their slap on the wrist so leave them alone.”
Canada is leading in countries moving to an instant forgiveness policy towards child rapists.

TOKYO, SWEEDEN – In a shocking reveal by Nintendo on Octorber 19th, 2016, Nintendo shocked the world of gaming and furnishings. Nintendo has made a deal with Ikea to exclusively release it’s new console “The Switch,” not to be confused with the crime based board game about Governor Jeb Bush.
It will come using detachable parts, easily separated by an Alan Key and no bothersome secondary screen. Sony is outraged, “we wanted to release the Lego Vita, and they beat us to it,” said Yudomi Inarectim, CEO of Sony Entertainment and White Van Pornography.
Ikea’s CEO was in the middle of a annual suicide and could not make a statement.
Nintendo had a release stating “It was proud to have a new piece of useless furnishings of it’s own for Ikea.”
Will it succeed, I haven’t been bribed to give that opinion. But you can be sure, it will be on shelves somewhere.

DUKENUKEDEM, JAPAN – In a scathing piece to USA Never, Donald Trump heard that Square place Dragon Quest 7 in a Quran setting. “Proof of ISIS,” and should be banned with Square.
Al-Balad a town in the game is Chapter 19 in the Quran (The City).
Hillary responded that it’s silly and the only thing Square is guilty of is criminal violence against youngsters and when asked, Libertarian Candidate, Johnson said, “Is that a new rapper guy?” and “What the fuck is a Quran?” Clearly a man looking for Bush Jr voters.
Jill Stein doesn’t exist.