Friday, March 31, 2006

...When someone asks when your husband will be home, you say July or August instead of 5 or 6PM....You live on your own and by yourself more after you're married than before you were married....Most of the married women you know or meet are under 21 and if they are over they have kids....You know all of your husband's coworkers by their last name, and rarely know their first name....When you say "I'm going to the commissary" instead of "grocery store"....When you need I.D to buy groceries...You are called "Ma'am" at the age of 18 by every MP or SF that comes into contact with you....When you forget you have a driver's license and take your military ID everywhere with you. ...When you hear of another death or injury of a US Military and weep inside for that wife or mother that loved that Marine, Soldier, Airmen, or Seamen....You read everything you can get your hands on to learn more about your husband's job....When you've never given a haircut in your life but you've perfected the medium fade, 6-8, skin....You really want something but you say "damn, well I'm going to have to wait for the 1st... or 15th for it ". ...You ask someone "what's your rank?" instead of "what's your job?!"...When half of your wardrobe has some kind of Military insignia on it and once belonged to your husband....When the sounds of helicopters, and Jets flying over your house shaking your windows, surprisingly soothes you!...When you classify people by what phase, class, or rollback they are....your husband's work and dress clothes cost more than yours do....You only write in pencil because EVERYTHING is subject to change....You know that a 2 month separation IS short, no matter what your civilian friends say....You know better than to go to the NEX or commissary between 11:30 and 1:30 unless it's a life or death emergency....You show your military ID to the greeter at Wal-Mart....You know that any reference to "sand box" describes a deployment to Iraq/Kuwait, not your kid's backyard toys....You have enough camouflage in your house to wallpaper the White House....You don't have to think about what time 21:30 is....You can't remember the last time you saw a doctor who wasn't wearing BDUs....You pick apart uniforms on TV and in the movies for being inaccurate with your husband....You are asked to stop talking in acronyms and translate it all to English...You have multiple copies of P.O.A.'s to throw at the credit card people and the banks...

Thursday, March 30, 2006

I just want to say thank you to all of you who were so kind to me throughout the past week while so much was going on. I appreciate your thoughts, words, and prayers, not only after Papa's death, but also while I was sick. It was hard not to be there with my family but each of you lifted me up just a little bit. Thank you!

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl ofWendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man , they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge ass hole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don'twant cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God youweren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching thoseathletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

My last post began by saying that a lot had happened, and even more has happened since then. Bryan has been in Iraq for over two weeks now. Bryan feels like he is finally doing his part and I am happy for that.When I left Georgia my "Papa" had just gone into the hospital. His condition has worsened, and I fear what my parents will say the next time they call.Yesterday our community lost it's first soldier of this deployment. He was in Bryan's battalion but not his battery. There were a lot of soldiers that were lost during the last deployment but that was before we got here. It was very sobering to hear that we lost someone from our community and our battalion. I pray for his family and hope that he is the only one we have to say goodbye to.The first time I heard the song Arlington by Trace Adkins, I loved it. Here are the lyrics in honor and memory of Specialist McKinzie.

I never thought that this is where I'd settle down. I thought I'd die an old man back in my hometown. They gave me this plot of land, Me and some other men, for a job well done.

There's a big White House sits on a hill just up the road. The man inside, he cried the day they brought me home. They folded up a flag and told my Mom and Dad: "We're proud of your son."

And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property. I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company. I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done. I can rest in peace; I'm one of the chosen ones: I made it to Arlington.

I remember Daddy brought me here when I was eight. We searched all day to find out where my grand-dad lay. And when we finally found that cross, He said: "Son, this is what it cost to keep us free."

Now here I am, a thousand stones away from him. He recognized me on the first day I came in. And it gave me a chill when he clicked his heels, And saluted me.

And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property. I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company. I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done. I can rest in peace; I'm one of the chosen ones: I made it to Arlington.

And everytime I hear twenty-one guns, I know they brought another hero home to us.

And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property. I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company. We're thankful for those thankful for the things we've done. We can rest in peace; 'Cause we are the chosen ones: We made it to Arlington.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

A lot has gone on in the past couple of weeks. Some of it I couldn't mention until recently for security reasons. As a result of the attack on the shrine in Iraq almost 2 weeks ago, Bryan's unit was put on alert to move north. The families were somewhat notified about the alert and expected them to leave quickly. Well, they got ready to go and waited..and waited...and waited. They never did go. There was some panic and confusion amongst the families, which turned out to be all for nothing.The snow has continued to come down for about a week now. My team played their first round tournament game last Tuesday night and we were scheduled to play again Thursday and Friday. The games were postponed until Saturday due to the weather. Late Friday afternoon they postponed the games again with no plan as to when they would be played. Unfortunately, that meant the end of the season for our team. All but two players on my team left for a week long school trip to London on Monday morning. I received a call yesterday that our game was planned for last night. I knew that was going to happen. We had a good shot at winning the championship, but instead we had to forfeit and take 4th place. I hate it for my girls. We did finish the season 8-1 (plus the forfeit) though and that's definitely soemthing to be proud of.This past weekend Bryan left to go "north" to participate in some training. It will be a short trip. It makes me a little nervous but I know that things will be fine. This is exciting for him and will be a good change of pace after the previous three months. Just say a little prayer that nothing crazy goes down while he's there!Stacie came over on Saturday night and I made "You Won't Be Single for Long" Vodka Cream Pasta. It was pretty good but we decided it would be even better with some seafood in it. We also had a spinach salad, bread, and wine from our favorite German wine guy! Stacie is keeping Misha for me while I'm gone so I was glad to at least be able to fix a little dinner for her. After dinner we went up to Pam's, where she, Laura, Vanessa, and the babies were doing kareoke. It was a fun and funny time! On Sunday, I taught my first ever sunday school class. It was a little intimidating but I survived. I think I'll keep my day job though. After church I ran errands and then baked chocolate chip cookies that afternoon for a care package for some of Bryan's soldiers. That night I prepared the care packages for them and Bryan while watching the best tv of the week - Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy!I'm trying to do all the last minute things to get ready to go to Georgia. I'm looking forward to the 70-80 degree weather! This will probably be my last blog for a couple of weeks. My schedule for while I'm there is already out of control!Tschuss!!

Monday, March 06, 2006

I've been pretty busy today at work preparing to take leave. I'll do a real blog tomorrow, but here's a funny until then!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The snow is out of control again! It has been coming down pretty good the past few days. Laura was kind enough to take a picture of me on my way to work this morning. It doesn't really look as bad in the pictures as it truly is. The white stuff is everywhere!Bryan has been doing a little bit of writing himself. He has written a few articles for the BCT newsletter. You can find them all here. His articles are in the 7th and 9th editions, but they are all interesting to read.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

My team won their game in the first round of our tournament last night. It was a lot closer than it should have been. Tomorrow night we're playing in the second round against the only team that beat us during the regular season. Wish us luck!

Smart Ass Answer #5:A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket; instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.Without missing a beat....she said, Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #4:A lady was shopping for a turkey at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied," No ma'am they're dead.

Smart Ass Answer #3:The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket

Smart Ass Answer #2A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right Ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

AND NOW FOR THE BEST ONE ... #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam."Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being heretomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.