you'll be paralyzed with astonishment, hehe

Entries tagged with mustache

Found the top two while cleaning out my screencaps folder, and the last one was on tumblr.

I feel it's a bit blasphemous to have this much attraction to people who COULD have mustaches but choose NOT to (especially since Scott had a mustache before and now he doesn't and so I will always know WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN but apparently he does not like mustache soooo why do I even like mustache-hating trash like that lol X_X jkjkjkjkjkjk you aren't trash, Scott T_____T!!! I didn't mean it I'm just using hyperbole to express my passion for mustache)

I'm putting like any kind of entertainment celebrity in the 'idols' tag because I don't want to make a new set of tags for celebrities especially since I will hardly ever talk about them anyway, and when I do it will pretty much just be the same few people lol.

So, I'm kinda angry at the world recently and my patterns are all messed up soooo I have like no motivation really lmao. So I don't know if I'll work on the site much this week? Maybe a little. But it's taking forever to get it done now X_X

Anyway, I ended up starting a new game in unsaga even though I was gonna wait until the site was ready buuuutttt oops :) So if I feel up to it I'll write the first entry of Laura's scenario later...

I also have an entry to write for RSG3 that I keep... not doing... for some reason.

Some SaGa announcements:

Romancing SaGa 3 is getting a remaster for PS Vita and mobile, similar to how Romancing SaGa 2 did. With any luck (especially if people buy RSG2!!) we might get a localization of this just like we did with RSG2! Which will mean all SaGa games have at least some form of an official localization (with RSG1 only being in the form of a remake though), except for now Scarlet Grace, too, I guess... XD; Though I'm really hoping they do decide to localize it because it's really great.

Also, Imperial SaGa is getting some new content. Now that the Cube Route was completely finished, I was wondering if they would add content from another game next, and was really hoping it was unsaga... but it seems they're adding SaGa 1 stuff next. :\ Which means they'll probably go through the whole Game Boy trilogy before ever getting to unsaga.

And we still don't have Tiberius lmao.

I also went to the Emperors SaGa site because it's still linked on the imsaga site even though I thought that game was long dead or something, but it seems like it even has some kind of expansion now called Glacies, with new characters and everything. It's probably really old since I've only looked at this site like literally once before and it was over a year ago.

The RSG3 thing was actually announced some time last week. It didn't seem to appear on SaGa's FB page nor on imsaga's home page, and it's not on the SaGa official site (though they like, never update that) sooo idk LOL. But Square-Enix announced it, I guess they just didn't think to inform SaGa fans. Maybe they're waiting to make a little site and stuff for it.

Since they're going to be remastering all the sprites and stuff like they did with RSG2, I'm really hoping that they add mustaches back to the mustache characters on their little battle sprites. The Imperial SaGa sprites do indeed have cute little mustaches, so...

I'm also really hoping they add some of the content that was cut from the original. RSG2 added a new dungeon and stuff, and since RSG3 already had content in the works, it shouldn't be too hard to add it in?

Maybe we'll eventually get remasters of sagafro and unsaga that add all the cut content from those. I could actually see Frontier getting that eventually, or maybe a remake, but unsaga is unlikely lol. Though that would be pretty awesome to finally get that "eighth scenario" and flesh out the other characters and lore some more. Plus any excuse to play more unsaga is good. And if they released it on modern platforms, that would mean unsaga with trophies and achievements which is fantastic.

In non-SaGa news, a tumblr mutual linked me to this thing called Sexy Congress which renewed my interest in the Senate and is even making me like the House now, which is... no bad please don't... like, it's just WAY too much stuff to learn and I hate getting new interests because interests are like all-consuming and I don't want to like... be distracted from SaGa lmaoooo.

And speaking of politicos, I'm kinda mad at Joe right now lol. he's still hot has hell but he's really pissed me off to the point where I might break up with him lmaooo. I'm strongly considering voting against him in the primaries; like, it would not take much for another candidate to seem more appealing right now lmao. And don't get me wrong; I love Joe, and I think he really does want to help Hoosiers, but... he's also ridiculously conservative, and passes off his support for harmful shit as being ~bipartisan~ but it's just him being super conservative hiding under the label of Dems.

Not that I have much regard for either of the US's political parties, and I do think Joe works in my best interest a lot of the time (much more so than someone like Todd Young ever would), I just think a less conservative candidate would be able to do so much better.

Also I still miss Evan Bayh lol. And honestly I liked Dick Lugar, and I even liked Dan Coats. But Todd Young is gross, and Joe is hot and tries but he's nothing compared to Bayh lmao.

NOT THAT I EVEN HAVE MUCH FAITH IN STATISM OR OUR "DEMOCRACY" IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT

I just want to hug all the cute congressppl ok.

THIS ENTRY HAS SO MANY TAGS.

I'm hungry but I still haven't been able to go to the grocery :);;;;;;;;; I don't know if I cried about this here yet, but I decided to try going to the grocery with Dens on Friday, which means I'd have to bring the food home from his place on Monday. Getting the food wasn't so bad, though I was pretty anx about it, but then I ended up forgetting it, probably because I wasn't feeling so great as I was leaving.

But that means I had no food for this week at all :) And then my dad said we could go to the store yesterday, but come like 10PM he still was not home and said it would be "later" and I texted him saying I was going to sleep and to wake me up when he wants to go, unless he'd rather go early tomorrow (as in today). And he just said "OK." And he never woke me up so...

I'm at least glad I was able to sleep but uhhh I need food??? I had enough to eat yesterday but today is another story. And it's 930 AM now and he's still asleep so IDK. I want to exercise today since I skipped yesterday because I was feeling super shitty, but I don't want to start now and halfway through my dad wake up and be like OK LETZ GO X_X But I also don't want to sit and put it off all day and him end up being like NVM NOT GOING like... late in the afternoon or something...

Yesterday he gave me some quinoa though that was leftover from someone else's breakfast (idek) and it was so good :O It makes me want to start buying quinoa but it's too expensive lol.

So quite often I get people like "oh hey I bet you would like this guy" and showing me some santa-claus-looking bubble head with a full beard that takes away from what should be a maybe-decent mustache and I'm like wow thanks for not understanding me in the slightest.

So I want to talk about a few very important features that make someone more attractive to me. I also want to say that mustaches are a special exception and pretty much a mustache alone makes someone attractive but mustache means MUSTACHE and not beard or general facial hair JUST SOLO MUSTACHES so please stop showing me people with things other than solo mustaches and saying CHECK OUT THIS MUSTACHE because THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN BY MUSTACHE PLEASE PLEASE STOP

So let's talk about face shape. I pretty much exclusively like rectangle-heads, and anyone who is a rectangle is probably going to be attractive. But "rectangle" is kind of a vague thing so I want to explain exactly what I mean by rectangle.

Look at these examples. These are rectangles. Nice, long rectangles. There are a few key elements here:

Firstly, it is a LONG rectangle. The height must be pretty long in proportion to the width. Generally, a h:w ratio of around 1.9 is ideal. The closer you get to h:w = 1, the more it is a square. And the closer to square, the less I'm going to like it. LONG RECTANGLE HEADS ONLY.

Secondly, the features need to actually fill the rectangle. You can draw a rectangle over literally any face, but if there's lots of gaps, that's not a rectangle head. If you look at the examples above, the green areas are the only parts that are not filled in with features. This means to qualify as rectangle head you must have a pretty wide jaw/chin. Pointy faces are NO. Also weird egg heads and pear heads and stuff that leave gaps other places are bad, too.

And thirdly, the features have to be blocky and long, too, to not distract from the overall rectangle shape. NO BUBBLY, PUFFY, SWOLEN, ETC.-LOOKING FEATURES. Features that contribute to length are good. Basically they should look like a literal block of stone or look like their face is melting off and then I'm probably good lol.

As an aside, this is probably part of why I'm into older men and baldies more often. Bald and receding hairlines means there's more height to the rectangle, and loose skin generally fills in the gaps of the rectangle. In the image above, the yellow outline is probably where Gregg's face outline would be if you started from a normal hairline placement and didn't account for the saggy face. Saggy face is sexy lmao.

Anyway, let's go on to talk about noses. People always show me these circle heads with these stubby wide noses with no length to them at all. Basically tall noses are better... again the more things look vertically stretched, the better. Button noses and pig noses are NG.

Here is Joey Bosa's nose. This is example of an average/decent nose. First of all, it's huge. Huge is always good. The more space a nose takes up in general, the better. Anyway, profile shape of nose is very important. From the front it's more just important that it's long, though I do have preferences in shapes but they're not nearly as important as profile.

Basically, cast a ray from the top of the bridge toward the tip (red line in the imagine above) and cast a ray from the furthest back part of the bottom of the nose following the direction of the septum (blue line above). The two rays should eventually meet at a point.

What we're looking for here is the length of the line segments from the point of intersection in these rays to each respective ray's origin. The longer each of these segments, the sexier the nose. To be clear, this is including the "pink" parts above (even though they're outside the actual physical range of the nose). LONGER LINES = ALWAYS BETTER. NO QUESTIONS.

Also, if you drop a line from the very tip of the nose (furthest point from the face) that perpendicularly bisects the blue line, then measure the difference between that point of intersection to the place where the nasal septum and philtrum meet, you'll get the green line. The longer this is, the better, too, but it's of secondary importance to the red and blue lines.

Also, Bosa's nose is very triangle which is good but not ideal. I'm perfectly fine with triangle noses and giant triangles are very welcome and very hot.

Before we go into better noses I want to show an example of a bad nose and explain another important concept that doesn't exist in a triangle nose.

This is Pat McAfee's nose which is Very Bad.

Because of the angle of the nose, the red and blue lines don't get to be very long. Look at that tiny green segment, too. But more importantly is the angle created where the green meets the blue.

Basically, this NEEDS to be an obtuse angle, or have a measure of π radians. If not, the nose is most likely ruined. It can only be saved by a huge amount of surface area and a giant purple region (which I'll explain next). An easier way to understand this is just that the tip of the nose needs to be lower than the point where the septum meets the philtrum, or basically the nose needs to 'angle down.' The blue line should have a negative slope when the profile is viewed from the right.

Here's an example of a much better nose. Very long red and blue. Very long green. And the angle created from green-meets-blue is obtuse. Very nice. Also important, now, is to look at the region of the nose that is visible above the red line. This purple-shaded region is pretty much just bonus sex appeal, and the more of it, the hotter the nose.

If you're curious what a perfect nose looks like, here's Mehmet Ozyurek, the world record for biggest nose lmao.

Since most of that was stupidly mathematical, here's a more layman's way to understand it:

All kinds of noses are great, though, in general but basically no up-pointing noses and no small noses and no noses that are only wide with no other redeeming attributes.

Lastly, I want to talk about mustache. Like I said before, only solo mustache counts as mustache. ONLY SOLO MUSTACHE COUNTS AS MUSTACHE. I can't believe how many times people have shown me full beards and been like "ooh look a mustache I bet you like it" and I'm like what the hell is wrong with you. Or even worse, a circle beard???? Vomit.

Anyway, here's examples of good mustaches. Just two because honestly I love all mustaches but I want to explain one important concept. But I also just want to show two of my favorites and honestly they're like the most common, "plain" mustaches which is good. You don't have to show me some like giant handlebar thing (though I love those too).

Important to note here is that it follows the shape of the mouth, and the red part makes it into a rough trapezoid shape. Most important thing here is that it starts at the corners of the mouth and not below that. I generally call this trapezoid shape as "painter" and it's one of my favorites.

This one is a bit different, and instead of a trapezoid it makes this chevron shape. I'm a sucker for the chevron and I will love anyone with this mustache no questions asked. Again, note that it begins at the corners of the mouth.

This is the most important part. The hair past the corners of the mouth is part of the beard, and if they are incorporated it's already taking away from the mustache. Mustache only includes the hair above the lip, from one corner to the other. NO OTHER HAIR ON THE FACE IS INCLUDED. When you include that part below the corners of the mouth (connectors) it becomes a 'pornstache" and looks gross and I don't really like it and it's not a true mustache. It's okay sometimes but most of the time I don't like it.

And it's okay if the hair GROWS longer than this point -- walrus mustaches are hot as hell, and manchus are pretty nice most of the time.

And I don't care if it's scraggly or trashy or whatever, if it's a mustache, I'm turned on. There is literally no exception to this rule lol.

Also 'small' mustaches (pencil, pyramid, toothbrush) are extremely hot and I pretty much get aroused just seeing them, even though I didn't use any examples here because they're not nearly as common and everyone associates toothbrush with Hitler so whatever. (John Steinbeck in the 'rectangle head' picture above though has a fantastic mustache, Vincent Prince always wore a super hot pyramid, etc.)

Now, there are other facial hair styles that I like quite a bit (friendly burns are good, van dyck is good... horseshoe is okay, and full beards are always nice, especially long ones). But the only time I'm GUARANTEED to like it is when it's a mustache. And if you show me anything other than a mustache and call it a mustache or expect me to like it because it involves a technical mustache, I'm going to be secretly judging you. And not in a good way.

And I know I only showed simple examples, but elaborate or decorative staches are okay. English is one of my favorite styles (where the tips extend straight outward), even ridiculously long ones, like George Haskins III:

Which honestly I'd let him do anything he wanted to me because look at that. Also note he has a kind of rounded and closer to h:w=1 head lmao. I don't care because mustache trumps everything. By definition, Haskins hotter than literally anyone without a mustache no matter how many other standards they meet. Mustache is #1.

And I can't stress this enough. ONLY true, solo mustaches count. ONLY.

Some other things I'll immediately find attractive are laugh lines, big eyebrows, bald heads (especially with the side hair lmao), crows' feet, and long ears. Also glasses.

Things that immediately are unattractive are any kind of round, soft features, especially ones that have a bubbly/puffy appearance. Basically, features need to look blocky and look like they are struggling with their battle with gravity.

In reality I like a huge variety of people but these are just the things that pretty much guarantee I'll find someone attractive so if you're showing me something and saying "I bet you'll like them" that means you're assuming that they have features that I find it difficult to not find attractive, so they BETTER MEET THESE STANDARDS. Also even though I've said it many times throughout this post, if you show me something and say 'look at this mustache' and it's not a true mustache I'm going to be offended and unreasonably angry with you so DON'T DO THAT TO ME EVER.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this lesson and now maybe all of you can have better taste and learn how to like properly attractive melty rectangles with massive honkers. And of course mustache.

I always make fun of Dennis for thinking stuff like lobsters and shrimp are fish, and that fish are not animals (and therefore lobsters are not animals)... like I often ask him if he thinks something is an animal or not because I think it's bizarre how he categorizes things...

Like, it started originally because I said something about bugs being animals, IDK why, and he was like "WTF bugs are not animals??" and I was like.... "Um... do you think they are like plants or fungi or something...?" and he's like "No they're bugs!!!" and like idk then we talked about this and I learned he thinks birds and fish are not animals but are their own category of living things that are NOT a part of animal category???????? And I was just like wtf wtf wtf and then like... I guess he thinks like... lobsters and crabs and stuff are fish??????????????????????? And like if it lives in water it's a fish no matter what it is LOL and like turtles are kind-of fish or something, it's like half-fish half-animal LOL and stuff like that but yeah

Anyway, I was watching "What's My Line?" which is like this 1950s game show where people would come on and a panel of celebrity guests would try to guess the person's occupation by asking yes/no questions about it. And this lady sold lobsters... and they were asking questions like "Is it an animal, bird, or fish?" and stuff?!?!?!?!!? Like as if those were different things??? And like... when they asked if it was a fish, she said yes and no one thought this was strange?????????????????

LIKE SO I GUESS I KINDA FEEL BAD FOR MAKING FUN OF HIM OVER THIS BECAUSE HE WAS JUST RAISED TO THINK THAT LOBSTERS ARE FISH AND FISH AND BIRDS ARE NOT ANIMALS. I just thought he was weird but I guess people used to really categorize animals this way??????????????????????????

But yeah the only reason I was even watching this was because I talked about Peter, Paul & Mary and then wanted to see stuff of them because I have a crush on all three of them LOLOL

Oh yeah I ate like a baby squid today... full-body, eyes and all. The eyes were like really firm and chewy like a really dry, stale raisin??? But it was mushy too because it was wet and slimy because it's a squid.

Anyway, I meant to go to sleep like 3 hours ago or w/e after I finished posting that last Innocent Life post but I've been doing who knows what (uh, watching stupid old show where people think bird is not animal and lobster is fish LOL I actually watched it twice X_X) but yeah, I sleep now.

Like I said last night, I'll post about FF9 today XD But first, today is our anniversary. We went to the mackerel place hahaha. They also had flounder. It's a buffet so it's all-you-can-eat. I ate so much... I had 3... pieces... of flounder (idk what to call them, it was like just a big cut of the fish down the middle?) and like at least 15 pieces of mackerel sushi. I had a few other things but eating the raw flesh of a dead fish is the best lmfaoooo. Well, only really mackerel. I mean other raw fish is good but mackerel is just so amazing XD Then we came back to Dennis's and he gave me a box of Cheez-It as present and I gave him nothing. Now he's sitting with heat pad because he is in pain. And now I'm on the computer. And that's about that.

So I'm gonna go through FF9 and try to remember the stuff I wanted to talk about while posting my screenies :P

There are early-game spoilers ahead. I'm mostly going to keep to opinions of the game/characters/etc. and not really try to detail the story too much, so I think if you haven't played it, it won't really give too much away. But still some stuff will be revealed anyway, and you'll see random screens from the game (though without too much context, as I'll just assume the reader either knows what it is already or doesn't want to know the spoilery details XD)

So yeah, that's about it lol. I had some other things to say but I forgot oops. I have way more screencaps on Steam (and way way more in the local files) so you can check them out there I guess if you wanna see more. I like to kinda take them and make little comments as I go.