Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Method Writing and Crazy Novelists

In twenty years of being a professional author I’ve had a
lot of strange adventures and created a bunch of crazy characters. The riskiest
part of what I do as a novelist is to practice “method writing.” As in “method
acting,” I “become” my characters so they come across as realistic. No wonder I
am a neurotic mess.

I’ve been the Antichrist, a female version of the second
coming of Christ, witches, demons, angels, vampires, drag queens, Cher
impersonators, tin-foil-hat-wearing conspiracy theorists, and dogs...a whole
hell of a lot of dogs. Oddly, I do dogs best. Go figure.

In my paranormal thriller, THRESHOLD, I was a tween
boy who drowns, has a near-death experience, and returns with a mission. First
off, I must mention boys that age sure think about sex a lot, don’t they? It
was hard to get past all Cole’s lustful yearning to stay on track and save the
world. Besides Cole’s compulsive desire for a hot sixteen-year-old redhead
named April, he’s also a die-hard Trekkie. So, of course he sees the after-death tunnel of light as a wormhole,
and the divine guide on the other side as the omnipotent Q from the Star Trek franchise. He ponders profound
Star Trek episodes in order to work
out metaphysical dilemmas. (Thank goodness I had a ten-year-old Trekker on
Twitter to consult with about such divine matters.) And Cole sits at the bar of
the Desperado Saloon waxing philosophic by the hour, pausing every once in a
while to tell the barkeep to, “Hit me again.” Bartender Saul stifles his
amusement as he tops off Cole’s frosty mug of root beer.

I really enjoyed being Cole, especially since he ends up
being the most heroic character I ever created. My own earliest fantasies
involved saving the world and because of my writing I’ve been a superhero more
times than I could have ever imagined. I love my job.

However, I also love being a dog. I really, really do.
Perhaps this is something I should discuss in detail with the veterinarian, um,
psychiatrist on my next visit.