Send Your Daughter to Christian Finishing School

Young ladies need appropriate inspiration to go down the right track in life. Otherwise, they will end up as godless heathens worshiping at the altar of sin. That is why it’s important to expose your daughter to the right educational influences. If you don’t, you might as well train her to be a harlot.

The good news is that you have an excellent option for “finishing” your daughter’s education to ensure that she’ll become a godly vessel and marry appropriately. The seminar “Vessels of Honor” is here to give your daughter the skills she needs to be a good vessel. The purpose of the seminar, according to the site is “Rediscovering the lost art of being a woman of grace.” The 10-day seminar is set in the woods, where one assumes no un-godly influences can intrude.

The girls learn a lot during their 10-day retreat. It is led by Dr. Bill Gothard, a strong advocate of homeschooling and parent-supervised courtship, says: “Over the years , I have watched so many young ladies with great potential be drawn away from the Lord and then make shipwreck of their faith and lives. This program is designed to equip young ladies to avoid this tragedy…” The seminar is put on by the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) which is one of the homeschooling methods that the famous Duggar family uses (you get a discount if you are a member of the Institute).

The seminar features practical education and an exciting field trip to the Billy Graham Museum. It also includes an appearance by Jana Duggar, one of the many daughters of JimBob. The girls will learn how to not only give their own lives to God, but how to raise future members of the holy army.

The ladies who attend will get information about how to get to their ideal weight through nutrition. The girls also learn many techniques that are absent at most high schools, including cooking, hair cutting and design (do they teach the Duggar hair techniques, I wonder?), “true spiritual beauty” and etiquette. Oddly enough, if you attend this seminar, you can also get certified in CPR, which I assume comes in handy when you are raising future soldiers of Christ.

Christa T. Palmer is a mother of 2 small children who lives in Colorado. She worked in the corporate world for more than a decade, but she was laid off the day after returning from maternity leave. Since then, she has worked as a freelance writer.

The IBLP headquarters is by my house! It's very cult-y. My brother and I drove over there once at night and tried to look through the fence. Apparently it's a common dare at our former high school to try and sneak in and the people there freak out if you do.