Friday, August 31, 2007

If you've ever pined to watch NFL stars going head-to-head with a couple of B-list celebs in a rousing game of Simon Says then today is like an early fucking Christmas. Savor this for all it's worth, and always remember that Jason Taylor's "game face" is no match for his "man-hug face."

That was K-Pax gay. It's a shame they couldn't get Pharoahe Monch to emcee...

...and instead of having crappy celebs compete with menacing football players might I suggest another change of pace?

Sorry to be off-topic, but I somebody just clued me in to the fact that Jessica Alba got herpes from Derek Jeter. The fine anti-darks women at Girls Gone Sports even put together a herpes tree laying out what this means for other celebs and fine pieces of ass like Jessica Biel and ScarJo. I realize this might be old news to some of you; I feel just like Mike Vick in saying "Man, why am I always the last motherfucker on Earth to know shit?!". This definitely puts a damper on my holiday weekend though. As for Derek Jeter, I've said it before and I'll say it again; I will never understand his appeal. Before this, I always said that if he were on fire at the side of the road as I was driving by, and I wouldn't even bother to take a piss on him to help him out. Now? I'd be actively siphoning gasoline out of my gas tank to help out the flames.