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Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

> Use Splash Attack!

NO.
You are NOT going to piss yourself.

> Crawl sideways as fast as you can!

Good thing you were the school champion crab-walker back in 11th grade. You scuttle over to the side. You hear clacking and a bunch of smashing around right where you used to be lying. The growler's done playing around. It's legitimately trying to kill you.

You crash into like a desk or something. You bang your face again.
The growler stops growling and starts yapping uncontrollably in your direction. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP it's coming for you oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh son of an illegitimate transvestite molester YOU ARE GOING TO DIE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE AAAAAAAHHHHHH

Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

> Consider the possibility that the growler is not a monster, but actually a robot (you did smell motor oil). Command it to divide by zero, that is obviously the only way to defeat the robot.

But
You
Steve felt its breath
On his face
And how would even robot why
Why
Doesn't even

> Go around the desk-like object.

Wow, that's... really pedestrian. Kind of a vanilla thing to do in this circumstance. It's so mainstream.

> Tell stupid knock-knock jokes.

Much better. You are so doing this. You lever yourself up back to your feet and lean against this desk thing casually. There's like a box on the desk of some sort, a wooden box it feels like, but you pay no attention to that.

"Knock knock," you say to the beast. You can hear its breathing. It is inches away from your face. It's letting you speak, as if giving you a chance to prove yourself worthy of not being eaten. It can afford to bide its time.

"Surrrgrr..."

"Akow go."

It just snarls in response. You can almost feel the rush of air, given the speed its lips pulled back over what you assume are dagger-like teeth.

Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?
THIS THING GAVE YOU A THIRD NOSTRIL AND YOUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO KISS IT?!

You do not do this.

> Grab the wooden box and smash its face.

You fumble around behind you. Ah. Box. Wood. Excellent. You try and pick it up.
You fail. It's bigger than you thought.

The monster chomps down on your arm. You can feel that it has at least two layers of teeth. You also feel pain, that too. Lots of pain. Also kinda delirious, but that's probably from the blood loss.

> Punch it.

FUCK IT WHY NOT

You punch it. It feels furry. You're surprised you hit it at all given how you still can't see a blasted thing.
You've got a few seconds before it leaps on you again. But you can't really think straight.

If there was light, your face would be red, and not from embarrassment.
(it's from the blood)
(because it bit your face)
(also your left arm now)

Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

Below is a list of stuff I've been reading/watching off and on in my spare time. I recommend pretty much anything on this list, as long as you're interested in Let's Plays/Fancomics (I would assume an interest in Forum Adventures, if you're reading this :P).Currently ProcessingYouTube
SlimKirby's Let's Play Super Bomberman 3
Odinspack33's Let's Play Donkey Kong Country ReturnsWebcomics
Square Root Of Minus Garfield [haven't checked in a while, though]
The After Subtract [A concluded sprite comic with relatively normal Mario and Luigi; a talkative, split-personality Link (Navi included); a talkative, homicidal (when it comes to food) Kirby; a Waddle Chu; and relatively normal Sonic and Tails. It starts a bit slow but after that it stays consistently funny.]Forum Adventures
Too many to really list! Here's a brief few I can think of off the top of my head...
Equiquest 2010
Iji
It's A Political Box
a Pidgey Named Fish
You Have To Explode The Sun
Corn Maze 2
Star Salad
NO TIME TO EXPLAIN
Magic Maker
Paper Mario and the Everclear Night [I'll catch up eventually...]
Pixel Quest
You Have To Push A ButtonRecently Processed (starting with most recent)
SlimKirby's Let's Play TLoZ: Majora's Mask
Odinspack33's Let's Play TLoZ: The Minish Cap
Odinspack33's Let's Play TLoZ: Oracle of Ages
Odinspack33's Let's Play TLoZ: Oracle of Seasons
Irregular Webcomic!

Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

> Staff Deployment: Very unstealthily retcon.

Whooooooooops sorry about that here is one I uploaded myself.

> Steve Negro Dark: Wake up.

What was all that? You had a weird dream about image hosting and whatnot. You're not even sure that the problem was satsifactorily resolved because you're not sure how it works really. But that's probably because you're still a bit dizzy from blood loss.

You have a sudden inexplicable urge to punch something fuzzy. You can't though, because the fuzzy thing you used to be lying on has long since escaped.

You assess your physical health and realize that sleeping for a few minutes didn't really heal your nose or your arm. And the lights are still out. You find this very disappointing, but not all that surprising. At least you're probably alone now.