John Edwards For President–Says The Onion

As the Onion states, who to endorse “is not a responsibility that should be taken lightly.” This is more than an endorsement. It’s a threat.

Those who oppose John Edwards’ rightful ascent to our nation’s highest office are, in no uncertain terms, cowards and hypocrites.

They are also fools.

Those who disagree with our editorial board on this issue have neither our respect nor our tolerance. Furthermore, let it be known that the political endorsement of The Onion is not a thing to be taken lightly. On the contrary, it should be viewed as a sort of line in the proverbial sand, and those who find themselves on the wrong side of that line will henceforth be marked as enemies of this newspaper, and will be taken out with the most extreme forms of violence.