Thursday, August 4, 2011

Mommy police

First off, thank you all for the kind loving words and support after the last post. I thank you for lifting my heart with your words, and will find strength in that to share more as I move through the stages of finding that all elusive solace. It is a hard thing, sharing. I went from keeping it all in to baring it all, on of all places, the Internet, where words can live forever. Maybe that's why I chose it, a way for Vanessa to go on through my words. I will learn to open up and slowly unfurl, but it will take time, and I don't want all my posts to leave you sad. So I will intermix tears with laughter, stories that provoke thought with musings full of fluff. Maybe some recipes too! Mix it up a little. For you. : )

Yesterday was one of those days when Grace and I were just not on the same page. Maybe it was me, maybe she was just bucking authority, maybe the moon was in a grumpy phase, I don't know, but she just didn't feel like minding, and so my badge came out and I became the mommy police. Privileges were taken away, threats filled the air, glares were passed around, and we were stuck in a showdown, you know, the kind where no one wins.

So what is a mom to do? How about gathering up beach gear, grabbing the dog, letting all the restrictions vanish into thin air and head for the beach. And then go out for a Slurpee. Grade A parenting, right? Not so much, but we both needed to blow off some steam and I admit, I was tired. And thirsty. Too tired to deal with a bored sassy six year old with a bad attitude, so I let it slide, this one time, and let me tell you, it felt so good. It felt like a good day to let bad behavior reign. In fact, hey, can I join in? My badge went back into my pocket, and she was released from room jail and we rolled the windows down and headed to KVI beach. I felt a little guilty for not following through on the heavy threats I had already handed out, but I can always regain my deputy status tomorrow and set a better example. Yes, tomorrow I will be a more effective parent, but today I need the day off from being one. This is my summer vacay too, and yesterday I felt like getting a tan, and darn it I was goin' to the beach and getting me one of those, sassy attitude or not : )

The magic of KVI is the wonderful pure sand spit it lays out for you for only about an hour or so on low tide, where for one split second on a hot day you might think you are in California instead of in the middle of the Puget Sound. We hit it just right and along with a few other lucky souls we ditched our flip flops and frolicked in the hot sand. I breathed in the salty air and ran from one end of the sandy bliss to the other savoring this yummy slice of summer as the dog just about passed out from sheer happiness.

On previous visits to the beach Daisy only gingerly skirted the water, but today, she swam. Since she's a low rider her little feet pedaled through the water at shin deep so it didn't take much for her to become buoyant. It was funny, and made me belly laugh a little, good medicine for a rough day. The bad morning melted into the surf as a freighter passed by to give us waves to jump over as the dozen or so other giggly bodies that dotted the spit all joined in for one collective jump.

It was one of those hours where you feel truly present and fully aware of the free happiness that is there for the taking. Sun. Sand. The comforting constant sound of the incoming tide. The cry of a happy seagull that just found a crab carcass. Warm sand between your toes. Icy cold Sound water that makes your chest sting, but in a good summer-y way. All simple things, but true God given smile makers.

We stayed for a couple hours and brought home a tired, happy, sandy dog, and two nicer people. For a minute. I wish I could bottle up some of that beachy happiness to sprinkle over Grace, and maybe some for me too. We weren't home but ten minutes and my badge was out and already flashing in her face. Your flip flops, didn't I already tell you TWICE to take them off? You see that trail of sand?.. Yep, that one...Hey,.. HEY!... I'm talking to YOU!!! Ugh. Oh, look! Jeremy's home! Shift change! ; )!