We’re Ecstatic To Have You

I realized when I was riding my bicycle home that the difference was that I did the pick up from school today of the older boy while the younger accompanied the mom to a doctor’s appointment.

The hour to 45 minutes of time that I have had the last couple of days with the little guy while the mom picks up the big brother are super vital minutes in my daily schedule of staying on top of all the things.

Man.

All the things is a freaking lot.

“We are afraid we are pushing you too hard,” the mom said tonight as I was leaving.

Oh shit.

I can’t keep up.

I am not a 29-year-old.

They are going to let me go.

“We don’t want to push you into leaving,” the mom continued.

Oh.

Well.

Fantastic.

“What can we do, I know the double stroller is horrible and we can get a new one to make your life easier,” the mom continued.

Yeah.

That.

The stroller does suck balls.

The family probably paid a pretty penny for it too, strollers are not cheap, especially double strollers. Even the crappy ones are expensive, unless you are shopping for a double doll stroller at the dollar store on Mission Street.

But their’s is terrible.

I joked with the outgoing nanny that I now knew her secret to top fitness, it’s pushing that stroller around town.

It’s problem is lack of maneuverability, plus the bar is a little too low for a taller gal like me, I can push it in a straight line, but turn a corner, it’s heavy and cumbersome.

So yeah.

New stroller is definitely in the future.

Thank you!

I am also trying to be so on top of everything that I probably look a wee bit frazzled.

When I acknowledge what I did today I have to say, I did a lot, even though I did not get it all done, there were dishes that needed to be put away and laundry that did not get folded, but.

I went to the corner market and picked up food staples for the house, made a big salad for the parents, made sautéed garlic mushrooms for dinner, prepped after school snacks–sunbutter on crackers, strawberries, and peeled clementines, prepped milk, ran the dishwasher, steamed a head of cauliflower, went to pick up the eldest from school while mom ran the youngest to the doctor’s appointment, took him to BiRite for a treat ice cream cone the mom had sanctioned, went to Dolores park to watch the construction while he ate the cone, then to Mission Pool and Playground, a trip to the Pirate Store to look at the aquarium and to dig through the hidden treasures in the store, then back to the house, played in the garage, washed out the stroller, put away half the dishes from the dishwasher, did a load of boy laundry, then took both the boys to the Farmers Market and came back with loads of food–including a roasted chicken for dinner, fed them dinner, washed fruit for the week, ran the baths, played pirates, administered meds, transferred in to pajamas, built a blanket fort, and tried to catch my breath in between it all.

Let me not forget adventures in brushing teeth, potty training, tantrum negotiating (really your toes are super cute, but not on the table please while eating dinner), reading of many, many, many stories, and changing of diapers.

It is a job.

It is a job I like.

It is a job that is kicking my butt.

But.

“We know this is a lot and we’re ecstatic to have you and want to do whatever we can to make this easier,” said the mom, “really, let us know if we need to pull back on certain things.”

And yeah, there is probably a need for that.

But I think it also has to come from me.

I cannot rush myself trying to get it all done.

I do a poor job then and I am frantic, which is not how I want to be at work.

So, I just have to acknowledge, I can do as much as I can do and if it doesn’t all get done, that’s ok.

It is not indicative of me being a bad nanny, in fact, quite the opposite, it’s indicative of me being proactive with the boys and putting their needs first while I am working there.

I want to keep things as tidy as I can, but sometimes the mess is just going to get ahead of me.

I will keep up on the laundry and garbage and diaper pail, the loading and unloading of the dishwasher, and the breakfast, lunch, dinner food prep, the compost and the recycling to the best of my abilities.

But first and foremost I am a nanny, so the boys come first.

I want to do it all.

And maybe.

Some days I can do it all.

But I can’t expect myself to always be able to nail it.

I can see that I am doing the best I can and the parents are aware of it. I was afraid that the mom would be upset with me not being quite as on top of things, despite the many things I did do today, like holding a little boy for over an hour in my lap and reading him stories before nap time because he’s been under the weather.

Just that.

I am worth my pay.

And I am grateful that it is noticed.

I really do want to be the best nanny ever, ever, ever.

And the desire for perfection can bite me in the butt.

I am allowed to ask for a little down time, for a break, for a minute to sit, eat lunch, catch my breath. I am aware that the parents know this too.

I just need to communicate and not be afraid to talk.

They want to engage with me and help me do the best I can too.

I really get that this is a team effort for them and I am already considered a valuable part of the team.

I am also super glad that tomorrow is Friday.

Whew.

And I get my first paycheck!

Yay.

I also get solid, almost drunk with it sleep, the deep kind of sleep, wherein you have worked your butt the hell off and you fall out like nothing doing when your head hits the pillow.