2014-09-28

New age Facebook narcissists!

Are you on Facebook? Mujhse Fraandship Karoge..acha! Send me a friend request! Been there, done that. Sounds familiar?! Right. Sharing-varing, feeds, heated discussions and venting out on almost anything, right from being a political animal to sex'ual creature and social issues. As a friend wrote on her blog, Facebook is becoming increasingly a tough call for us not-so-young owing to the infiltration of our elders mushrooming on Mark Zuckerberg's baby. As if, the online world is too big for us to run away from!!!

Facebook! What's that? Rocket science for the silly me and my faint heart. I am off from this thing called Facebook and it's a self-conscious break coz it was getting too much for me. I was getting tired of the things that I share every alternate minute, venting out my frustration on almost any ludicrous stuffs wrapping my tiny existence. Yeah! I am on a FB detox coz it an obsession for me, spending early morning and nights, basking in my own glory. One day, I told myself, 'Cure needed. I de-activated the account.' Do I miss Facebook? Nopes! I can breath fresh air, cut off from the feeds and from the horde of FB-ers. After all, I have a life. No! Really! This post is not about me but the narcissists that we have all become, sleeping on FB and taking pride in our 'Dabbang' statuses or wall posts. Tag Me! Ah! The game of tag or selfies all over the place roaring like Rajnikant blowing smoke and fists on the villains, flying in the air, like UFO's.

Don't ask bout' selfies! It's such a major put off where X or Y is sharing a new picture every alternate nano second of their mundane existence. It's too much to take, yeah. Or, you taking a pic with Priyanka Chopra or Lady Gaga at her latest show. I mean, taking a selfie occasionally is perfectly legitimate but I find this over-the-top behavior damn depressing where you sharing almost everything on FB. This applies to me as well coz I became this FB-narcissist writing at length about politics, corruption or the Alia Bhatt jokes. Don't we all need a good, fucking break and enjoy the ME time? Some friends asked, when I am coming back and it's no sooner, though I haven't said tata, bye bye. I shall be back in a while, fresh and rejuvenated.

Social media mavericks! We offer everything under one package, wannabe political analysts, marketing gimmicks, online social Gurus and what's not! New age wizards selling a product, we are all over the place in our desperate bid to become an attention seeker like the five-year-old showing his chocolate bar to uncles and aunties, jumping from one room to the other. If we have a trophy girl friend or wife or six-pack abs boy friend, flaunt them all over the place as if it's some aesthetic object of desire. Now, who needs sex toys in the age of FB? You bet! We need to tell the world about the better half on Facebook. The zillion pictures clicked in parties is shared on FB, close up shots of our drowsy eyes, drenched in Vodka shots...party all night, party all night, aunty police bulayegi..party on Facebook. It's all about Tandoori nights. Move over Yo! Mama! Jokes or Acidic Aunty. We are the new acid, talk of the town on FB.

Sometimes, I wonder how Facebook robbed us of the joy of human interaction, a time when meeting friends for some good fun carried emotional warmth. Gardening is done not in the open air but farmville, watching birds has become Angry birds. We've become so obsessed with our online image yet the emotional touch is just for effect. 1000 followers, 900 friends, yet we get so busy as online robots that our fingers doesn't hit the key pad to send an e-mail to old friend or make a call for that matter. Forget once a year, perhaps in a decade, we may not hear from someone we spent the best of times with.

White lies has never got better on Facebook or Twitter. After all, we are competing with the likes of AB, SRK, Priyanka Chopra or JLO to become the next celebrity in town. And! The silly game requests! Please, don't ask!!! It's like the new age paper boats that every one needs to play on an online format. Just refuse someone's game request and you are in the bad books forever. The next day, you are dumped out unceremoniously off their list. After all, Facebook is all about boosting the EGO where the E and GO cannot be separated.

It has never been such a dangerous place to live on the digital media. We shall post update during the morning, share stuffs and comment on the latest stuff...NaMo in US, Jayalalithaa condemned by court on account of graft charges for four years, Deepika-TOI war. Bring it on, FB-ers! After all, your are trending.