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A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn....

It's gonna get harder before it gets easier. But it will get better, you just gotta make it through the hard stuff first.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Bliss

I have an amazingly blessed life. I really do. It's not that it's without its hardships, and it's not that I don't get into a funk and feel bad at times, and even cry. But overall, I am truly happy...

Trillium's are blooming full out. About a month ago Gail pointed me that they started showing their buds off, and the last couple of weeks they are just everywhere in Portland. I was stopping to "smell the roses" - or trilliums in my case - on today's morning venture to Forest Park, thinking how blessed I am. I walked a lot, simply because this is what I wanted to. After a single run on Friday that was resembling training, the rest of my runs this week are just that - contemplating on life. Being happy.

Alex visited 3 times over a week's period, and that was happiness. No, it's not like wheels turned around, but talking to my son as we drive (I read just recently this is when best conversations with teenagers happen, likely because they are not intimidated by adult "hovering" over them) brought me to so much peace. Stephen finished his 3rd quarter, and while there are things to work on, he is a great kid, and we talk a lot - in the car, by the way, is the best, as we drive home from boxing. Oleg had a birthday yesterday, and I got to meet his girlfriend, a wonderful woman who I felt connected to in an instant. We all met at a mutual friend's house, Katya, who is yet another fantastic person. I talked to mys sister a couple of days ago, and she is my biggest friend and support. I have my health, a job with a paycheck, a desire to become a professional where I can bring happiness to other's lives, a roof over the head and food on the table. I have a passion for trails, whether it's running hard and doing well - oh, just stroll and enjoy. I have an unbelievable community of friends, just can't say enough about them. And I have met someone, given a second chance, who I can't picture to live without, and who is the most understanding person in the world, who makes me feel safe and cared for.

I am blessed. Yes, I will have more bad hours, bad days and even bad weeks. Yes, there is more to wish for, but right now - I have enough.

Having enough, whatever your definition is, is a bliss in its own right.

Stephen and I are about to head to the movie, and then I'll pack for Zane Grey. It'll be my 3rd embarking to this race, by far I am the least prepared for, but I will get to see Angie, to spend time with Larry and see him succeed, and to enjoy those crazy rocky trails up in high desert. Isn't that a bliss? Larry is at the boy scout camp with his son Harrison to get that advanced patch (pardon my lack of knowledge of definition, I think it's "wolf"?), and I would love to be there as well to see Harrison thrive - last week I was at his scout meeting and it was total fun! And tomorrow - tomorrow I am off to the Gorge with Monika, my "sister by heart", my darling, and we will be inhaling the beauty of the most awesome natural setting I will never seize to love. And - it's 80F here and sunny!

What's the post about? I am not sure. Feelings got so overwhelming, I had to let them out. I hope you don't mind:)

p.s. you gotta see "17 again"! You will laugh, and you will cry (I did, both). And it's a great one to take your kids to.

p.p.s. The outing was awesome!We had a great time with Monika, and at the end ran into Gail, Liz and Kamm. Gail turned back with us and we spent another few miles, the Three Amigos, with my best girlfriends, and my heart was singing because they are absolutely wonderful! And the weather couldn't have been better, absolutely not!

9 comments:

Good to hear the happiness in your life Olga! And so glad for two things: one, that you got to see Alex three times (I totally understand the bliss of that) and two, that you and Oleg have remained friends - so important for you, and even more so for your boys. You are blessed and it is great!

Your post is one ALL should read- It's sooo important to take the time to reflect what we HAVE in our life, not what we don't. Thanks for the inspiration and reminder to value what truly is important in life!

My son is 15. I'm very lucky. He is beyond good. More than i deserve. Of course, he isn't grown YET! Still a chance to throw me some curves. But so far he has only a couple times given me any gray hair.Having kids is great, huh? Gives us something to focus on and a reason to not give up on ourselves because someone needs us.Less than a week to Zane!

Being thankful for what we have vs. always wanting "more" definitely changes our perspective in life and what is important. A lot of people never figure that out in life, which I find sad. This weekend, if you find me on the side of the trail sitting on a big rock, promise to pick me up and take me with you. Ok? :)

What a beautiful post! I think lots of us have been contemplating how lucky we are and enjoying what we have rather than constantly grasping for what we think we want, but really don't need. I hope to meet you 'in real life' someday soon at one of these races!

Yes, I am alive. So busy and life is good for me too just too hurried. Running is so-so, feeling slow and tired. Too many projects but going to Bend this weekend for nothing but fun.Still can't get myself to get myself to let the lawyer go on the Divorce. I can always make up excuses. I know I will do it soon.

Great marriages are the result of two mature, grown up people – both of whom have full, satisfying lives – cooperating with each other to get their needs met. In this kind of differentiated relationship, each partner compliments the other, but doesn’t complete them.

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“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” - e. e. Cummings

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." M. Scott Peck

Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference. Virginia Satir

"It is not that my identity is running. But I need running to keep figuring out what my identity is."