3 boys, a handful of careers, lots and lots of pro bono work

Atonement

I’ve alluded to this before, it being probably be primary reason I try to follow Christ. And, it has to do with forgiveness & the part where it isn’t all my job. Julie has an excellent post with discussion going on at her place for the Hump Day Mmm. The comments have been swimming in my head all day. Atonement is the topic & I think there is a consensus that some things a person cannot atone for – there are some horrible crimes that no apology or amends making can ever erase, nor can good deeds piled on top of the crime or next to it, or on some scale opposite ever blot out that spot, that stain.

I’d argue there are more of those things on the list than we realize, than even seems natural to us. The reality is that many of us are quite good at the forgiveness that must be practiced in every day life to get along in this world. Someone cuts me off while driving and it is a moment’s frustration over the course of all the things a person must do in the day. My anger at the other driver dissipates quickly, almost out of self-preservation; I couldn’t possibly carry all of that around with me all day, all week, all life long. Too many things require ongoing forgiveness, my three year old is sorry, sorry, mama – sorry he yelled at me, pulled the baby’s toy away and didn’t get his shoes on as I asked. We move along – he checks in on my frustration, takes my temperature, “Are we still friends, mommy?””Yes, we are always friends,” his small gesture of peace-making cools my temper. It is a stronger statement of his desire to please me, to get along, to make it right than the automatic “I’m sorry” that accompanies him being taken to time out. It is a three year-old’s repentance, will you forgive me, the truest of apologies. And it does atone, putting us back “at one.” The etymology of that word is really right at a preschoolers level, which may be why he is so effective with it. What moves us from disobedience to apology to contrition to repentance to forgiveness to atonement? What keeps that train on track? I realize sometimes the order of those things might be rearranged, but something must keep the train on the track or small everyday offenses would go on unforgiven in most people’s lives would be even messier and more complicated than they are. This to me is the mystery and power of spiritual work. It is a dance I am doing with myself, my loved ones, the drivers of other cars and people who cut me in line at the store. When I choose, on whatever level I do choose, not to exact my pound of flesh from that person who cut me in line (this happens to me a lot because I am short), there is someone who pays. I don’t unleash my frustration, but instead pay the price of forgiveness. It can and often does hurt to do the work of forgiveness. The work of atonement is even harder. It comes a much higher price. When I have wronged someone I wait on their forgiveness and work at relationship repair, all the while knowing that the damage is done and all I have hope for is a future where it doesn’t matter as much tomorrow as it does today. Where the hurt gets woven back into the fabric of our relationship and does not jump out at me quite so clearly.

It is at this point that I realize that I am so grateful to have a faith that leaves me not alone in this. It is Jesus crucified who pays the price for forgiveness, only a sacrifice on that scale is big enough to bring atonement to this war-torn, battle-weary world. When I cannot pay, he already has, when I cannot forgive, he already has – what I cannot make right, what others cannot make right for me – he takes onto himself. Which is why, when I follow him I take up both the cross and the light burden. There is a mystery therein which tells me that while I have great spiritual work to do, it is not all of my doing.

I really enjoyed your post. Christ certainly paid the price, but I think you’re making the point my post today made, that unless we show a willingness to do our best to forgive others and make right what we’ve done wrong when we can, we aren’t really a part of his forgiveness. Great post.

I really enjoyed your post. Christ certainly paid the price, but I think you’re making the point my post today made, that unless we show a willingness to do our best to forgive others and make right what we’ve done wrong when we can, we aren’t really a part of his forgiveness. Great post.

your whole last paragraph of this is perfect, and i loved this as well “The work of atonement is even harder. It comes a much higher price. When I have wronged someone I wait on their forgiveness and work at relationship repair, all the while knowing that the damage is done and all I have hope for is a future where it doesn’t matter as much tomorrow as it does today. Where the hurt gets woven back into the fabric of our relationship and does not jump out at me quite so clearly.” i loved it because it is so honest about the effort we must make in our atonement towards OTHERS. it’s much easier to talk about those who have wronged us.

your whole last paragraph of this is perfect, and i loved this as well “The work of atonement is even harder. It comes a much higher price. When I have wronged someone I wait on their forgiveness and work at relationship repair, all the while knowing that the damage is done and all I have hope for is a future where it doesn’t matter as much tomorrow as it does today. Where the hurt gets woven back into the fabric of our relationship and does not jump out at me quite so clearly.” i loved it because it is so honest about the effort we must make in our atonement towards OTHERS. it’s much easier to talk about those who have wronged us.

It is interesting to me how you come to this place from your spiritual tradition. Because, of course, it is equally possible to get to the same place starting from a number of other foundational ideas. Secular humanists would say that it is purely our love and respect for fellow human beings that holds this world together, and therefore we should do that work to make sure it stays together. In Judaism (my tradition) it is incumbent upon us to not concern ourselves so much with the role God plays in the world, but to assume the work of Tikkun Olam– repairing the world. Atonement and forgiveness are in fact at the heart of the most somber day on the Jewish Calendar– Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. In preparation for that day we are supposed to seek forgiveness from people we wrong in the past year but have not yet sought forgiveness from, and to work extremely hard to forgive all those who harmed us, even those who have not asked us for it. That last part was a very challenging thing for me last year in light of one particular person’s unapologetically awful behavior.

It is interesting to me how you come to this place from your spiritual tradition. Because, of course, it is equally possible to get to the same place starting from a number of other foundational ideas. Secular humanists would say that it is purely our love and respect for fellow human beings that holds this world together, and therefore we should do that work to make sure it stays together. In Judaism (my tradition) it is incumbent upon us to not concern ourselves so much with the role God plays in the world, but to assume the work of Tikkun Olam– repairing the world. Atonement and forgiveness are in fact at the heart of the most somber day on the Jewish Calendar– Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. In preparation for that day we are supposed to seek forgiveness from people we wrong in the past year but have not yet sought forgiveness from, and to work extremely hard to forgive all those who harmed us, even those who have not asked us for it. That last part was a very challenging thing for me last year in light of one particular person’s unapologetically awful behavior.