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At breaking point

Every night it takes me anywhere from 1.5-2hrs to get my 5wk old to sleep. Dad gives her a bottle at around 8.30 every night and then he hands her over to me and goes to sleep in another room. I then spend what feels like an eternity rocking her, singing to her, and breastfeeding her until eventually she falls asleep (probably from exhaustion).The whole time I'm doing this she is crying and fussing. She can also be quite hard to put down during the day and I rarely get the chance to sleep when she sleeps. I feel like I can't cope with one more night like this but I have no idea what to do differently to get her to sleep sooner. I love my daughter dearly but right now I'm not enjoying life. I feel like my partner and I have lost all intimacy in our relationship and I'm struggling to come to terms with my post baby body (I had bad abdominal muscle separation and my stomach looks nothing like it did before). I just want to be able to at least get my baby to sleep without feeling like I'm going to go insane, and maybe the other issues won't seem so important. I'd love to know if anyone else is experiencing similar so I don't feel so alone?

You're not alone! Just when I think I have my daughter sorted and On a routine, she throws it out the window, like tonight, she just can't be settled! I think you need to ask your husband to help you more at night wth settling the baby. Even just an hour so you can have a long shower just to unwind. Be strong x

In reply to KittyK2

03/08/17

You're not alone! Just when I think I have my daughter sorted and On a routine, she throws it out the window, like tonight, she just can't be settled! I think you need to ask your husband to help you more at night wth settling the baby. Even just an hour so you can have a long shower just to unwind. Be strong x

It's good to know I'm not alone! I just can't wait until she is a bit older and hopefully with that will come more sleep for both of us. My partner sleeps in our room on weekends and this gives me a slight break, but sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to ask him for more help because he needs sleep for work. I feel like he expects me to do a lot more because it's technically my job ATM to look after her...hard to explain.

In reply to Jellicat

03/08/17

It's good to know I'm not alone! I just can't wait until she is a bit older and hopefully with that will come more sleep for both of us. My partner sleeps in our room on weekends and this gives me a slight break, but sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to ask him for more help because he needs sleep for work. I feel like he expects me to do a lot more because it's technically my job ATM to look after her...hard to explain.

I definitely know what you mean. However if it is your job to look after her, you should explain to him that you need a bit more help from him to be able to do your job, just as he is supported by you in giving him sleep so he can go to work.

It could be colic. Google it and you'll see some solutions. It's supposed to peak at 6 weeks and then get better so you're almost there. My Bub gets it every second night or so and I have noticed it getting easier to settle him. I use a vibrating bouncer to give him and me a break for five minutes as this instantly stops the crying. I use ocean sound as white noise, this can help. Skin to skin also. And I do a lot of talking and cuddling in between feeds.

Sounds exactly like my life .. It's good to know I m not alone .. I have a colicky baby so all that u said is wt I have been dealing with .i m waiting to yet experience the bliss .. I love my daughter but I dnt like the way things are ATM.. it's the expectation and judgmental attitude of near and dear ones which is the worst . You are not alone dear . Take care and stay sane .

Your not alone. I'm a second time mum going through this at the moment it does settle down. When does hubby work? Can he help out with 10/11pm feed? You go to bed extra early might get to sleep till 3? Or can he help out with early am feed? My hubby works early so I don't get either help. Do you have some one who can come over in the morning to help? My mil comes over and helps me with toddler and stays till after our midday nap it helps so much. My mhm told me a few tips to calm baby. Massage tummy in circular motion, bicycle legs, bath in middle of night, white noise, gentle patting.

In reply to AN156

03/08/17

Sounds exactly like my life .. It's good to know I m not alone .. I have a colicky baby so all that u said is wt I have been dealing with .i m waiting to yet experience the bliss .. I love my daughter but I dnt like the way things are ATM.. it's the expectation and judgmental attitude of near and dear ones which is the worst . You are not alone dear . Take care and stay sane .

I know what you mean about the judgement. I told my partner yesterday that I was finding it hard to cope and that I wasn't enjoying day to day life and he made me feel so guilty like I regret having our daughter, which is not the case. He just doesn't understand. He tries to be supportive but I don't think he really knows how. I never considered it could be colic, I'll have to look it up and I'll mention it to my gp at my 6wk check up.

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