I was perusing old timey woodcuts looking for resources for Hybird and I stumbled across an illustration from Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens which contained a figure that curiously resembled Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor on the British popular science fiction series Doctor Who. So I modified the image slightly to enhance the resemblance.

Although Eleven has actually worn an outfit nearlyidentical to the one in the original image a couple times when visiting the Victorian era (uncanny, isn’t it?), said outfit wasn’t exactly as iconic as his trademark fez (which he wore only twice, for only a couple minutes in each occasion, but whatever). I also added a bow tie, removed the top hat (because why carry a hat when you’re also wearing one?) and replaced it with his sonic screwdriver.

One of my favorite things about woodcuts is that they’re really really easy to Photoshop convincingly. And really, why let Slenderman fans ’cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good have all the fun? And unlike the guy who ‘Shopped those “Der Großmann” woodcuts (the bogosity of which I won’t cover in detail here, as it’s already been adequately covered by other bloggers), I’m making absolutely no attempt to use this as an “evidence that the Doctor is real” hoax, although if any of you were to redistribute it while claiming or otherwise implying that it was legit, I wouldn’t object.

I also made a cropped version in which the interior door of the room is turned into the exterior door of the TARDIS, which briefly served as my avatar picture on an internet forum relevant to the topic.

If you know what fnords are and I wasn’t the one who told you about them, I take my nonexistent hat off to you (NOTE TO SELF: buy a hat).

You have no idea how hard it was to find a religious symbol that resembled an R. Had to dredge up some obscure quote unquote “pagan” faith you’ve probably never heard of (ah neo-paganism, the hipster of religions). The only other option was equally underground, but was also used by Neo-Nazis, so I thought that maybe that wouldn’t be such a good choice, although I have absolutely nothing against the non-Nazi related religion that uses it but I do think they should have found out whether Nazis were using the symbol they wanted before choosing it when they were founded undoubtedly within the last few decades (seriously you guys. Stop pretending that your religions are ancient. Also, stop using the word “Pagan” like it’s the name of a religion instead of a catchall term for any and every religion that isn’t Christianity Judaism or Islam. You’re only embarrassing yourselves). The ancient religion that both the Nazi and non-Nazi religions ripped off is fine, though. It’s not their fault.

Seriously, these guys are given three billion dollars a year to come up with stupid ideas like flying goddamn humvees and then contract tons of different people to design, build, and test their stupid ideas before concluding that it was a stupid idea and won’t work. Really? Ya think?. Gee, if you wanted to waste 54 million taxpayer dollars (yes really) to find out that flying goddamn humvees are a stupid idea, you should just give all that money to me, because I could’ve told you that from day one. And the worst part? We already have flying humvees! They’re called helecopters!

You know, since we’re trying to balance the budget anyway, we should try cutting DARPA. The only government funding these guys should be receiving is to pay for their treatment at the state mental institution. You know, something constructive.

And if you’re wondering, yes I have a bone to pick with these guys. And yes the flying goddamn humvee is my poster child for why the guys at DARPA are the world’s dumbest smart guys.