Bianca Schmidt

Tokyo Journal columnist Bianca Schmidt is a psychotherapist and sexologist who writes a column in Norway's largest newspaper VG and in the gestalt psychotherapy magazine. The Oslo, Norway native came up with the idea for the development and cast of a TV documentary about transgender issues. In 2010, the program won the Gullruten, the Norwegian equivalent of the Emmy Award. That same year, the series won the Gay Award in Norway. Bianca is quoted as a specialist on psychological and relational issues by newspapers, magazines and TV programs in Norway, and also makes appearances as an inspirational speaker on a wide range of topics. In 1997, Bianca founded the Gestaltsenter in Oslo, where she still meets clients. She has a passion for making a positive shift and difference in people's lives.

Life Style

Expat Life

Red or Green Light

Clear signals are easy to follow. Just as with traffic lights, we know when to stop and when to go. We obey the rules. Otherwise, there is the risk of undesirable consequences. Imagine if it was as easy as this when it came to flirting and courtship. What if we had clear guidelines for what’s okay and when it’s wanted? That would clear up many bumps and complications. What a relief for all parties.

Let Your Hope Shine; Let it Inspire

We need hope. The battle against despair, pain, and repression seems so overwhelmingly hopeless. We need lots of hope. The world is still a horrific place for far too many. Resilient, irrepressible and spirited inspiration is needed.

Six Seconds to a Passionate Relationship

HOW long is it since you experienced a little excitement in your relationship? How long since you felt that romantic spark that made you long to get home to your partner, knowing that you would be greeted with love and affection? For many couples, these feelings are a distant memory. They seem to be drowned by routines and trivialities. We blame our hectic lifestyles for the lack of love and affection in our lives. Can we find a solution that our schedules can tolerate?

You Never Know....

How often do you let people just pass through your life without much notice? Shared time can be anything from a moment, to a few hours or days; like the lady that smiled at you in the store or the man you met at the seminar. The investments we make in these unexpected meetings are often small. It’s common to assume that unexpected meetings will have little or no impact on the sequence of our lives’ events. So why bother? But what if these meetings could change your life? What if an encounter could change your life? If you embraced this idea, would you choose to live differently or greet the people you bump into in a different way?

There is nothing like the first morning in a new, foreign place. At first it seems like any other morning; I’m half asleep and my body and mind has no recollection of the journey last night. Then the magical moment happens. Usually it’s an unfamiliar sound that jolts me out of my dozing state. Where am I? It can take a second before my mind manages to grab the memories. Then it all comes back to me. I feel a surge of joy rush through me. The best part is yet to come. I sink happily back into the pillows and let the cascade of foreign sensations seep in.

Everything is different from back home. The bed, the room, furniture and colors are all different. Even the texture of the sheet gives my skin an unfamiliar sensation. But the immediate surroundings are seldom what excite me. My focus stretches outside. I blend the sounds, scents and what I can glimpse through the window with my imagination.

I HAVE a vivid memory of how excited I was the first time I was going to fly. I can’t remember my exact age or even where we were going. But that feeling of joy, amazement and thrill remains so very vivid. My body seemed to have a life of its own back then. I could hardly stand still. For days I told people of my pending flight high up in the sky. I would even point up to make sure they got the point, so that they could see the shiny little plane way up there. I planned to make one of those cool white stripes behind the plane. I just didn’t know how. I didn’t ever get round to asking my dad, mom or the pilot about that. Nor about how they shrink the plane so that it gets so small in the sky.

Then the travel day came and it seemed so loud and busy. There was no time for my endless stream of questions and bursts of joy. At the airport, tons of people rushed back and forth with big bags and suitcases. They looked like ants running with their stuff back and forth. They seemed so focused, not at all approachable. And then there were the lines, the papers to check and those small books called passports. A lady put our luggage on a black belt so it would go on a journey of its own, or so I thought. Mom said we would get it back later.