A part of my heart is invested in nc.com. It feels like part of it has been taken away. Does anyone up on the high levels understand that? Isn't there a way that only registered users can see all messages and lurkers can't?
I have no real friends and I have little contact with people beyond work. Nc.com is my place to go to for having friends and to reject loneliness.

A part of my heart is invested in nc.com. It feels like part of it has been taken away. Does anyone up on the high levels understand that? Isn't there a way that only registered users can see all messages and lurkers can't?
I have no real friends and I have little contact with people beyond work. Nc.com is my place to go to for having friends and to reject loneliness.

Originally Posted by Speckla

Great post, Speckla!

I hate that I feel this way, and have disagreed with people for awhile, but feel that's it's definitely a business now and not so much a community. That's fine if that's what the new owners want, but it's sad that it has come to an end.

I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

Its a shame when things get to the point of members forming other groups. I think its unfortunate because it separates the community even more. Branching off into other groups creates cliques of people who aren't interested in the daily NC conversation, and disappear, only to mysteriously show up in droves when some drama occurs. This is the third time I've seen this happen here. Members come and go and move on to create or visit other sites. It will continue.

I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

Its a shame when things get to the point of members forming other groups. I think its unfortunate because it separates the community even more. Branching off into other groups creates cliques of people who aren't interested in the daily NC conversation, and disappear, only to mysteriously show up in droves when some drama occurs. This is the third time I've seen this happen here. Members come and go and move on to create or visit other sites. It will continue.

Originally Posted by iroc

I feel as if the tone of moderation has fractured this board. It's a shame, I agree. I spend far less time here but keep checking back because I like people who I don't communicate with elsewhere, and for little other reason.

I have sent PMs to mods (details of which I'm not posting here, as I prefer not to get myself banned) but have not felt as if there was a willingness or acknowledgement of the reign of terror feeling they have instilled on the board. Inconsistent and unkind moderation has popped up in many cases, and changing rules post-banning to justify bannings makes it so one has to question when/where the next unprompted strikedown will occur. Even the new rules which are totally inconsistent and unpredictable about who is and isn't allowed to link to websites with things for sale and bannings prior to any clarity on that and with no warning... crazy. For me, that was the last straw - seemingly irrational bannings for no reason. I will only be here on occasion because of people I care about who are still here, but strongly feel the sense of community has been shattered by the powers that be.

(And hey, since I'm posting this in a thread in the feedback forum, I am actually within the rules in posting this complaint!)

^ Standard board etiquette (not just here, but all Internet discussion boards) suggests not posting on heated topics until one has had a chance to establish oneself in the boards in less dramatic ways.

In going against this common sense approach, one risks the strong likelihood of being labeled a troll. It may seem unfair, but that's just how boards work.

Its a shame when things get to the point of members forming other groups. I think its unfortunate because it separates the community even more. Branching off into other groups creates cliques of people who aren't interested in the daily NC conversation, and disappear, only to mysteriously show up in droves when some drama occurs. This is the third time I've seen this happen here. Members come and go and move on to create or visit other sites. It will continue.

Originally Posted by iroc

I don't know about other times, but I do know about this one. I got a 3 day ban and so did Scrills. That ostricized us from the board. The other group was created to INCLUDE even those who could not participate on here. No one has been excluded from it. No one. If someone chooses not to participate, that's their choice. If anyone wants to join, they just have to pm those that have openly said, "PM ME" about this.

I came here to find help with my hair. I found it. I also made friends.

I can say with all certainty that NC.com is not what it used to be. It used to be a small business that cared about its customer base and was reasonable in its treatment of those customers and responsive to their needs, requests and inquiries. Now it has become, like a lot of the business world, a huge corporation that has lost touch with it's customer base as what made it so successful in the first place.

When I was very sick after having my son and was away from the boards for a very long time, Gretchen personally emailed me to see if I was okay. When she didn't get a response, b-wavy wrote me a letter via snail mail. That would NEVER happen now. (b-wavy is excluded from that statement; she's awesome! So is Gretchen, for that matter.) Unless there's a list of naughty curlies, the owners now do not know I exist, nor do they care because they don't have to. And the feeling from my point of view, is mutual.

There's nothing wrong with keeping in contact in some other capacity with friends made here. Will it hurt nc.com non-hair culture? No. The damage was already done. The new group on facebook and the new forum is the direct result of nc.com changing for the worse, not the cause of nc.com changing.

Yes, the non-hair board is different. I don't post as much; I don't read as much and neither do some others. (I do not presume to think that MY presence or lack thereof is a defining factor of board culture; I can only speak from my point of view.) But that's because I feel pushed away. My heart is no longer "in it" here. I feel like whatever I post is going to be scrutinized in an overbearing, reactionary, and purely subjective micromangement manner by the moderators. It has nothing to do with a "clique". It has everything to do with rules being enforced in a non-consistent and purely subjective manner.

And as NetG said, since I am posting this in feedback, I am posting this complaint within the allowances of the rules.

^ Standard board etiquette (not just here, but all Internet discussion boards) suggests not posting on heated topics until one has had a chance to establish oneself in the boards in less dramatic ways.

In going against this common sense approach, one risks the strong likelihood of being labeled a troll. It may seem unfair, but that's just how boards work.

Originally Posted by wild~hair

And unfortunately, about 99% of the time it IS a troll.

The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla

^ Standard board etiquette (not just here, but all Internet discussion boards) suggests not posting on heated topics until one has had a chance to establish oneself in the boards in less dramatic ways.

In going against this common sense approach, one risks the strong likelihood of being labeled a troll. It may seem unfair, but that's just how boards work.

Originally Posted by wild~hair

And unfortunately, about 99% of the time it IS a troll.

Originally Posted by NetG

Which is why the website is dying. Labels, cliques, catty attitudes, etc; people get enough of that in their real lives, so why would anyone tolerate that here?

It's a shame. I like being able to anonymous. Not everyone wants to have their identity known to everyone. I've met some great friends as well, but identities were revealed after a relationship had been established.

While I know FB can be great, I am very cautious with it. I'm not a big fan to be honest.

^ Standard board etiquette (not just here, but all Internet discussion boards) suggests not posting on heated topics until one has had a chance to establish oneself in the boards in less dramatic ways.

In going against this common sense approach, one risks the strong likelihood of being labeled a troll. It may seem unfair, but that's just how boards work.

Originally Posted by wild~hair

And unfortunately, about 99% of the time it IS a troll.

Originally Posted by NetG

Which is why the website is dying. Labels, cliques, catty attitudes, etc; people get enough of that in their real lives, so why would anyone tolerate that here?

Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App

Originally Posted by LoveInBetween

That is not why it is dying. It is dying because that management doesn't care if there is a message board here or not. They might care a *little* about the hair boards. But they definitely could give a rip if the non-hair side took a flying leap. I think if they could make the whole section go *poof* with no repercussions, they would do it in a heartbeat.

Like I said, the vast majority of boards behave the same way toward potential trolls. And that vast majority of web boards that are hostile to trolls are still going strong. It's not a problem, in fact it prevents boards from being overrun by a lot of unpleasant folks.

And NetG is right -- new posters identified as such usually ARE trolls.

It's a shame. I like being able to anonymous. Not everyone wants to have their identity known to everyone. I've met some great friends as well, but identities were revealed after a relationship had been established.

While I know FB can be great, I am very cautious with it. I'm not a big fan to be honest.

Originally Posted by FrizzBgone

There is also a forum/message board where you can maintain anonymity as you do here.

You could also create an alias FB account to access the group. I promise you, no one would mind if you used a pseudonym.

It's a shame. I like being able to anonymous. Not everyone wants to have their identity known to everyone. I've met some great friends as well, but identities were revealed after a relationship had been established.

While I know FB can be great, I am very cautious with it. I'm not a big fan to be honest.

Originally Posted by FrizzBgone

There is also a forum/message board where you can maintain anonymity as you do here.

You could also create an alias FB account to access the group. I promise you, no one would mind if you used a pseudonym.

PM me if you're interested in either.

Originally Posted by wild~hair

You don't have to do the FB group to join the forum. It's like pretty much any internet forum: you pick a screenname and avatar and you are anonymous.