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Thursday, April 11, 2013

GUEST AUTHOR: Ros Baxter

When Ros was 8 she penned a whimsical series of short stories about a
race of tiny people who lived on a rainbow. While they were a hit in the
playground, a few things intervened – including a career in social
policy and four noisy children.

Since Ros started writing again 3 years ago, she's been busy, including
with a two-book deal with Harper Collins Australia, Sister Pact (a
romantic comedy co-written with her sister Ali) and Fish Out of Water
(Escape Publishing on 1 April).

Ros writes fresh, funny, genre-busting fiction. She digs feisty
heroines, good friends, quirky families, heroes to make you sigh and
tingle, and a dash of fantasy from time to time.

Ros also runs a successful business consulting to government and the
private sector. She teaches professional writing skills and has
authored a writing guide, Clarity. She lives in Brisbane, Australia,
with her husband Blair, four small but very opinionated children, a
neurotic dog and nine billion germs.

Ros, welcome! But I see you've brought someone else along with you today, and she looks a lot like the woman on the cover of your latest book...

Dirtwater, USA Population 3,000

Hi there. Nice to meet you. My name’s Rania, but some people call me Sheriff (although I’m technically only the deputy). Back home, in Aegira, they call me dirtdweller, because I grew up in the desert, rather than seven miles down, on the deepest part of the ocean floor.

Anyway, it’s really nice of Kylie to invite me along to say hi. But I’m kinda busy right now. I mean, you know, everyone’s got stuff. Mine’s just a little more immediate than most, I guess. You see, thirteen years ago, I went to a Seer. Like girls do, you know? Only this wasn’t some ten buck shopping centre crackpot, telling you you’re gonna find happiness where you least expect it. This was a dolphin Seer, and anyone who’s anyone knows dolphins just don’t get shit wrong.

Anyway, there’s only one rule about visits to the Seer in Aegira. You don’t ask about the appointed hour of your death. But hey, I was sixteen. Give a sixteen year old a rule, what’s she gonna do? Anyway, I didn’t really think she’d tell me. But she did, of course. She told me I’d die on my thirtieth birthday. That’s three weeks away. And look, maybe I kind of went wild there, for a while. Did some bad things, went some crazy places. Eventually, though, you find peace. Ever since that ashram, I’ve been trying real hard to embrace my fate and welcome each moment until my end. Problem is, I’m just not that Zen.

I was doing okay. Just focusing on enjoying my last three weeks of home-made brownies, Bon Jovi and hanging with my Ma. But then this dead blonde turns up on Main Street. And whaddya know? She’s got the blue tattoo of the watch-keeper. And my name tattooed on her thigh. I’m starting to have a bad feeling that the second part of the Seer’s prediction is going to come true. The bit that requires me to “change the course of destiny and save the world entire”.

So, anyway, when Kylie asked me what I wanted to share I thought I’d give you my own personal epiphany. The end result of twenty nine and a half years straddling two worlds – human and mermaid. I’m in the unique position of knowing what’s swell and what sucks about each. So I’m going to tell you the 5 best things about being human. I’m telling you because my time’s short, but at the end of the day, so is yours, and, like the songs says, you don’t know what we’ve got til it’s gone.

• Getting down and dirty. Down in Aegira, it’s all harmony and learning. But it’s kind of vanilla. Humans are funny and wild and dirty and diverse. I’m gonna miss bad jokes and poker and boys with dark eyes and bad intentions. So take advantage of them while you can.
• Passion. Aegirans lost it along the way. Find yours, whether it’s a man or a moment.
• Going with your gut. Aegirans have great minds, so there’s more analysis than action. But man, it feels good to trust that prickly spidey-sense that tells you it’s time go kick some ass.
• Free will. In Aegira it’s all about the collective. But there’s something to be said for choosing your own path. Take it from someone whose days are numbered – do the things that make your heart sing like a siren.
• Bad food. Of all the things I’m gonna miss, in three weeks, it’s gonna be twinkies most of all. So promise me one thing. Every now and then, have a Big Mac or some cheetos just for me.
Anyway, wish me luck. I’ve got a crazy priest and a ten thousand year prophesy to defeat. Lucky for me there’s a smokin’ hot swimmer who looks like he’s keen to help out. I’ll keep you posted.

Raina, that's some good advice all round there - thanks for dropping in today and sharing your story - and I think we ought to take some time right now and head on down to Maccas. I feel a caramel sundae coming on! :-)

Oh, and while Rania, Ros and I pig out, why don't you take a look at FISH OUT OF WATER?

“It’s Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum meets Splash in a sexy, smart-talking debut about a mermaid in a desert, a city under water, and the secret that no-one is supposed to uncover.”

Dirtwater's straight-talking Deputy Sheriff has a lot on her plate: a nicotine addiction that's a serious liability for a mermaid, a solider-of-fortune ex who's hooked on her Mom's brownies, a gorgeous, naked stranger in her shower, and a mysterious dead blonde with a fish tattoo on Main Street. Oh, and one other thing. She's scheduled to die on her thirtieth birthday - in three weeks - unless she can 'change the course of destiny and save the world entire'. Throw in a Mom who's the local Mayor and a Dad who's been locked in the county jail for twelve years, and that's all the trouble she needs without her mermaid roots coming back to haunt her.Rania's heading home to Aegira for a family wedding but she's starting to have a sinking feeling that's got nothing to do with hydroporting seven miles under the sea and everything to do with some weird connections that seem to be emerging between her, the dead blonde, her Mom's shady past and a ten thousand year old prophesy. Now if she can just steal a corpse, get a crazy Aegirian priest off her case, work out who the hell's trying to kill her and stop sleeping with the fishes, she might be able to unravel the prophesy, the mystery of the missing choirgirls and the secrets hidden in her Mom's past. And maybe even save her own ass while she's at it.