Tuesday, June 15, 2010

It may seem, sometimes, that the Lord is not answering your prayers. When this happens, just hang tight.

Really hard to do, I understand that. I've been through it myself. If home is where the ill feelings are then who is bringing that into the household? If you already know and don't see a way out, lean hard on the Lord and wait on His perfect timing. It will come.

Sometimes you just aren't sure what the problem is. Is it him/her? Is it me? Until all truth is lying out on the table for all to see, you won't find out what the real problem is. This is when you lean even harder and ask the Lord to open your eyes and ears and to give you discernment in the matter.

Eventually that egg will crack and out will come the truth, exposing the underlying sickness that is poisoning your very existence. This is what you want - truth. Without it, you wander in darkness with no real answers and no direction.

Sometimes you're amazed at what the truth really was. Sometimes that truth hurts but better to react to the real thing, than to your own imagination.

Walk in truth and you will walk in the light. Refuse to live in a house with untruth, as that kills. Nothing is worth living in such darkness.

Monday, June 14, 2010

f you follow Jesus, and I don’t mean just a confession of Him, I mean falling in love.

Before I get into the meat of the subject, I better stop and explain the relationship of a disciple. Jesus’ disciples were deeply in love with Jesus. That’s why they followed Him, regardless of the situation. Why else would a body just up and desert their own families, their daily duties, their entire lives? That’s what a person does, when they are ‘in love’.

Think back to when you were first in love with someone. Did they not occupy your every thought? Did you change your daily habits, just because of that person? Were you consumed with a desire to be with that person?

The same can happen with you and Jesus. He loves you in that way and when you return that love, wonderful things can happen. If you felt like you were floating on air, when first ‘in love’ with another human being, then what would it be like when you fall in love with Jesus. Talk about floating on air, it has been known to actually happen.

This is the relationship, I talk about when I say disciple. His friends are your friends, His enemies are you enemies, what He loves you also love, simply because you are with Him all the way regardless of the price.

It was to His disciples, Jesus spoke about faith and how it operates. Something happens to a person, when they become a disciple of Jesus. It’s as though their brain gets rearranged.

God created Adam and gave him all authority. That meant ALL authority. God created the animals and plant life but left the naming up to Adam, because the authority lied with Adam.

This was the first marriage. All of mankind and the design of their lives, evolved around that first marriage. In other words, that’s the reason for man and woman and the reuniting of them into a form called ‘one’. It’s all representation of the first marriage and God’s relationship with mankind. Hopefully that helps you to understand this thing God has for man, this thing that never seems to die, this thing called love.

When Adam sinned, it was the sin of adultery. The curses that came as a result, are the same as any marriage – a ripping apart of a marriage. Adam separated from God, God didn’t separate from Adam.

By sinning against God, Adam had turned over his authority to the serpent. Kind of like a contract being signed over. Adam’s loyalty, whether he liked it or not, had turned to the serpent, thereby transferring his authority to him. Just as happens when one partner is disloyal to the other. Doesn’t the hurt party see the union between what was once his partner and this newly chosen partner?

This is the reason God had to become man, in order to retrieve that authority. On the cross, Jesus paid the ultimate price for the return of His own property. By defeating death, overcoming what belonged to satan (death), Jesus took back that authority.

So imagine Jesus handing over that same authority to His disciples. He did, you know. “I give to you my authority, which is in my name.”

He was speaking to His disciples, that’s true, but today you and I can also be a disciple. Sold out, blind faith, head over heals in love, abandoning the physical life, disciples.

Now what did He mean, ‘in my name’? His name is above all others, it is apart from this earth. His name is like a badge, when we wear it. The badge represents His authority, which He has given to us, His disciples.

I’ll bring this down to a true story. At a time when I was flat broke, physically weakened and separated from the nearest humanity by 20 miles, I had a problem. The car was old and barely functioning and the tires were falling apart. I had a flat tire and needed to go to town. There were no men around to help and I was ‘on my own’. The lug nuts were practically welded on and would not budge.

I tried everything. I jumped on the lug wrench, trying to shock the nut loose. Didn’t work. I tried a big hammer, hoping again to shock it loose. Nothing. It wouldn’t budge. Without thinking, just a knee jerk reaction, I lost my patience and uttered the words out loud, “In Jesus name!”, while trying with the lug wrench again. It felt like the lug nut had turned to butter, it came loose so quickly.

First, I had to get over my surprise at what had just happened but then I collected myself and tried the same thing with the next nut and sure enough, “In Jesus name!’, each one came off like they were nothing but butter.

Boy! Did I learn something that day. You know, a week later I came upon a very elderly man, trying to do exactly the same thing? He was struggling with a lug nut and had stood up to stretch his back. He was in pain. I offered to help and he just laughed at me and said, “If I can’t get it loose, what makes you think you can”? Ha

I told him I already knew I couldn’t but that I knew a trick. After a few more tries, he stepped back and told me, “Ok, you try it!” I stepped up to the lug wrench, grabbed hold of it, and as I began to twist I shouted out, “In Jesus name!” and the darn thing slipped off like butter. I turned around to see the old man’s eyes wide and his mouth gaping. He said, “Why didn’t I think of that.” We had a good laugh and talked about the Lord for awhile.

Funny thing though, years later when the car wouldn’t start, that didn’t work. Do you suppose it had something to do with the state of my mind? Believe me, I locked in on that thought and pondered it for many days. I think it’s possible I understand now.

Even we know when it’s an absolute desperation and no possible help. We can see the difference.

So what is this thing called authority? It’s the same thing God created this world with. It’s like the difference between you speaking alone, and you speaking in unison with the Holy Spirit. When you speak together, in unison, of the same mind, mountains move before your eyes.

Authority. A policeman has the authority of the government entity enforcing. He speaks, it happens. Your boss has authority. He speaks and if he has worthy employees, it happens.

Jesus speaks and the clouds part. We speak in the name of Jesus and people rise from the dead.

It’s not the words that get action. It’s speaking God’s will and all angels are created to carry out God’s will. When it is spoken, using the authority, angels dispatch and it happens.

So having this authority over all the earth, doesn’t that require us to be careful what we speak? Oh yes it does. That’s the idle words, God spoke of. Your very words can set the heavens on fire so be careful when you say things against another.

An idle word can also be someone speaking, when they are not a disciple. Those words hit the wall and go nowhere. It’s just like in marriage. If you have that marriage certificate, you can speak for the other. If not, you’re an individual and cannot speak for the other.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Have you ever wondered about some people who seem to never get past the pablum stage? As though they will never come to that day when they are ready to take on 'strong meat'.

You can spend hours explaining something to them, it seems they've understood and yet when you tell them it's time to take this to the Lord, they don't take the initiative and go to the source, they want to hang onto you, getting you to discuss it further, from different angles, go over it again and coming back to you with something like, ' I understand. If only *** would act differently or treat me better or or or....'

You're trying to get this person to see their own relationship with the Lord, how to deal with a problem, how to give it over to the Lord. You spend so much time, detailing for them, what their next move should be only to hear them come back with pointing a finger at 'the enemy' instead of actually grasping what you're trying to tell them.

I've personally run into this just recently and with a family member. This person continually came to me for advice and I continually pointed them to the Lord. After hours of detailing why it was so important to lay this at the feet of Jesus while asking the Lord to examine him, expose to this person the problems within instead of without, and after hours of deep conversation, it always ended the same way - this person wanting to go over and over again, the faults of another.

It wasn't until I finally discovered that this person had played me financially, for all it was worth, did I also come to the conclusion that this person never really wanted true advice to begin with. It was just some game this person plays on every human being that comes into his life. He exists by playing the 'forever Pablum boy', letting others tend to him in every possible way.

I'm sharing this for one reason and that is to help others realize, there really are people out there that 'suckle' the church and take advantage of the Christian heart. They know just enough about Christianity to know how to play a Christian. These people will never own up to truth, will constantly give the impression he/she needs help spiritually and desires it.

The truth is anything but. The truth is, this person just likes the attention, wants their way regardless of the cost and will never face themselves.

What I've learned is how easy it is to cast pearls before swine. The swine can be as close as a family member.

I'm sharing these thoughts to let others know, there is really a time when it's ok to shake off the dust from your feet. You have to. To allow a person to consume your time and thoughts for no good reason, when there is a world out there waiting for the truth, is a sin.

Helping a babe in Christ, grow in the Lord, is one thing. Spending an eternity wasting time on someone who is pretending, is quite another.

Friday, June 11, 2010

For those who know me, they've heard this story before but now, I will finish the story. You can read my entire life walk with God in my book "He Lives". For this writing, I'll skim over the beginning of this story.

I was barely 8 years old, when the Lord called me in a loud voice. It happened to be in a tiny insignificant Baptist church in a tiny insignificant town in the very southern tip of Texas.

Hardly a mega-church and hardly a congregation of thousands. This was truly a tiny church for a tiny town and I, at the age of 7 was a part of its beginnings.

The scene was a typical, annual revival set up in a small tent, not 50' away from the church building itself. Thank the Lord it was still spring time or we would have been eaten up by mosquitoes, every night.

Every night for a week, we met in that tiny tent, with wooden folded chairs and sawdust for a floor.

Now, I referred to us as 'good Baptist' because we sat on the very last occupied row. Since my brother and I were the terror of the church, we were separated. My brother on the left side of the aisle with my parents, and myself on the right side with my grand-parents.

Children, in our church were seen and not heard. We were to learn obedience, hold the communion platter for our elders, bow our heads when anyone was praying - and we were to remain quiet. Our people also believed in the age of accountability. In other words, we were not allowed to accept Jesus until age 12 and then of course, expected to immediately do so. Rules were strict with children.

Five nights in a row, we showed up in the tent. Five nights in a row, I brought a small pad and pencil, to keep me occupied.

It wasn't until Friday night, the last night of the revival, that something changed. As usual, at the end of the sermon, the organ began to softly play while the pastor delivered the benediction prayer. It was always expected that when the pastor finished his prayer, anyone wanting to accept the Lord, came down front then.

To further set the scene, my grandfather sat on the aisle seat, my grand-mother next and then me. There was no-one to my right. The same in the row ahead of us.

As the pastor delivered the benediction prayer, instead of me bowing my head and closing my eyes, my head was bowed alright but because I was drawing pictures.

Suddenly there was the loudest voice I had ever heard in my short life. Loud enough that if it had been mortal, the tent would be blown away. Loud and yet gentle. A voice more familiar than my own. It only said, "Judy!"

Something caused my body to react without my knowledge. I stood bolt upright and it happened so suddenly, I was dazed and trying to figure out what had just happened.

I was still standing when my grand-mother became annoyed with me and gave a little jerk to the hem of my skirt, which brought be back to earth. I sat down, thinking that God was mad at me for not being obedient. I have no idea where the pen and pad went, I never saw it again. I squeezed my eyes shut, so tightly I saw stars. I was still confused as to what had just happened.

I no more than sat down and squeezed my eyes when the voice came again. This time it said, "Judy! Come Forth!" I was suddenly standing bolt upright again and just standing in a daze, when my grand-mother showed her disdain by jerking even harder on my skirt.

"Come Forth"?, what did that mean? The only 'come forth' I knew about was what I saw the big people do at the end of a service. I was too young. Everyone would get mad at me. I made my choice to do all I could to obey Him, regardless. I'd rather be in trouble with these people than with God.

So my first action after having just been called out by the Lord, was to tell a lie. I whispered to grand-mother that I had to go to the bathroom. I had to get out in that aisle, regardless of the cost.

Once out in the aisle, I didn't know what to do. The pastor was still praying, the organ playing softly and I froze where I stood, waiting for the next shoe to drop. Everyone said 'Amen', all heads went up and then straight to the aisle, where a child was standing frozen. All eyes were on me.

I looked up at the pastor and he was looking back at me and I started walking. All the way up the aisle, I tried to think of something to say. What was it the big people said?

When I arrived right in front of the pastor, I still hadn't decided so I blurted out,"I tried to be nice to my brother all day but I just couldn't". :)

As though the pastor knew something I didn't, he turned me around and announced, "This is the only one coming, tonight". To this day, I wonder if he knew.

There's more to this story but the important point, is the calling and what the Lord said out loud to me.

As the years past, I continually came back to that memory and drilled the Lord for an answer. What did 'come forth' mean? What was it He wanted me to do. No answers.

Skip forward 50 plus years and you find me driving an 18 wheeler, all over the country. I had been working steadily for 3 years with only 3 days a year at home. I was working to pull a small family out of a financial pit and when I go to work, I go to work.

Driving 10 hours a shift, sleeping for 5 or 6 and pushing on. Back and forth, up and down, across the U.S., that's all I did. I didn't take time off. I didn't want to.

Something strange began to happen. It started when one night, I laid down to sleep and woke up 2 hours later, drowning. That's the only way I can explain it. I could breathe but I wasn't getting oxygen. I practically hung myself upside down to help the congestion out of my lungs and while I choked and coughed and slowly began to move all that fluid out, I gripped at the bedding in panic. It's the same feeling as when you've found yourself too deep in the water and fighting to the surface, running out of air and your lungs begin to burn.

This turned into a nightly scene until I was afraid to lay down at night. After about 2 weeks, I managed to get into a clinic and they gave me antibiotics and a breathing medication. Oh what a relief. I thought I had found the solution.

A week later, the symptoms came back and worse than before. Being out on the road, it's hard to get to a doctor. I simply had to suffer through until I got my chance, again. This time a different clinic in Salt Lake City. This time I was diagnosed with emphysema and a lung infection. Again, different antibiotics and different breathing medication.

I began to feel so much better and was just happy to work but then after a couple months, yet another breathing problem began. I had, what is called, callouses on my vocal chords. They had been there and growing for years but I was always too busy to do anything about it. Now something strange was happening and they grew so big, one on each side, that to breathe I had to bend over and let gravity pull the flaps of tissue out of the way. Breathing in, sucked those two flaps of tissue across my wind pipe, blocking off the air.

I wound up going into day surgery to have them removed. Afterward, I couldn't talk for about 6 weeks but boy could I breathe. It was just pure joy to suck in air, anytime I wanted.

Two weeks after the surgery, I had stopped for the night, was sitting on the edge of the bunk with the little desk drawer pulled out and was using my laptop on the internet. Pressure began building in my chest. You know that pain, when you swallow a potato chip that isn't chewed? That hurts. That was the pain. It was annoying but I tried to ignore it. I only had a few minutes to unwind and get to bed.

The pain intensified until I gave up and closed the laptop to lay down. I thought to myself, "What the heck did you swallow?" then it dawned on me that I had eaten soup for dinner. Uh-oh. No good reason for this pain. Pretty soon it was crushing me and I laid down for relief. It subsided, when I laid down so I decided it was time for sleep.

I woke up a couple hours later, lying on my right side and with excruciating pain all through the upper left quarter of my torso. I rolled over on my back seeking relief but it didn't help. I rolled over onto my left side and it seemed to ease up and I fell asleep.

For the next 3 days, I favored that portion of my body because it felt like a horse had kicked me. It was so sore. I came to the realization that it was my heart and could only apologize to it, saying, "I'm sorry. I understand." After months of struggling for breath and pushing myself to do the job regardless, then I went under anesthesia which is also hard on the heart. No wonder my heart was suffering. I vowed to take better care of it but didn't have time to run to any doctor. I was alive and had work to do.

For a few weeks, I thought I was home free but the original breathing problem came back again. I managed to get into the pulmonary clinic in Denver and they put me through all sorts of breathing tests. I was informed that for someone with emphysema I was still in pretty good shape. I just had to get on a regimen of medications. I could keep working.

One day I was having a particular problem with the breathing and coming out of Denver, headed toward L.A. on I-70, I began to whine at the Lord. This is how that conversation went, "Lord, you KNOW me. I'm the baby that banged her head on the crib because an earache wouldn't let me sleep. I'm the teenager that sat up in the night and fisted my toe after having 10 stitches and it wouldn't stop aching. It's me. Judy! Your brat! Father, You know I will never drag around oxygen at the grocery store. It just will not happen. Father! This is a horrible way to die! I'm asking You for just one favor. Let me know when it's my last day. If there's anything I've learned in the last few weeks, it's how to put an end to this misery. Just let me know, Father. I'll run until it's done."

That's where my head was. Actually, still is. I'm too bull headed to be frail. I'm just not cut out for that. I'd rather not exist at all. When the day comes and I can't climb a tree, give me a loaded gun. That's how much of a brat I am.

I was still wailing at the Lord, when I crossed the border into Utah. I needed a good hard talk with my Father. I pulled off into one of those scenic parking areas, pulled down the on ramp and then onto the shoulder. I got out, locked up the truck and walked down into a ravine, where I couldn't hear the idling truck or the reefer running or the traffic going by. I wanted peace and time with the Lord.

As I walked, the tears began to fall. All I knew was that I was headed for a long, drawn out, miserable way to die and I didn't want to go through that. I wanted to live as long as I could but only as long as I could be strong. Not a weakling, not a vegetable. Not me!

I was blubbering away when all of a sudden one word was whispered into my left ear -"Lazarus!" My knee jerk reaction was to bellow, "Oh yeah?! Maybe that worked for him but You never told me......." Oh wait.....Oh, my God! "You DID!"

My mind was exploding with the news. I began to put 2 and 2 together and realized that, yes, He DID! My tears immediately stopped when I realized that what He was telling me was that He DID call me out of my grave. He just did it years before I'd even know I'd need it. As a matter of fact He WAS talking to the 60 year old Judy but it was the 8 year old Judy that heard it.

It took 3 days for me to stop continually blurting out to the air, "You DID! You DID!"

Then the real mind explosions began. Seeing me through God's eyes. Realizing that when I was conceived, He saw all of me - the 3 year old me, the 8 year old me, the 60 year old me, all at the same time. The beginning, the middle and the end were already in His sight.

Oh wow! And then the realization of how much He loved me. He loved me when I cursed him when I was suffering with grief over a death. He loved me when I married a true son-of-a-bitch. He loved me when I picked up a cigarette. He loved me when I drank a beer. He loved me when I sat on the toilet. He loved me when I danced for Him and He loved me when I was destroying my body. He loved me when I loved Him back and He loved me when I ignored Him.

He LOVES me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He loves me the way I love my own daughter, and much farther and wider and deeper than I can fathom.

And because He knew when I was born, that I would need to be called out of my grave, He went ahead and did it.

I am alive. Against all odds. The devil has tried to kill me in every possible way, all through my life and I am alive!

So why, I ask you, are you sitting there reading this instead of jumping for joy and yelling out praises?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Some of us are fortunate enough to be a part of a church body that is nourishing and traditional. How many of us are still searching for that perfect church?

I've told my children for years, and now I will tell you that church is in your shoes.We are not to look for comfort, we are to provide it.

When we first come to know the Lord, there are elders to lend a hand and help you to grow in the right way. Where will we be when those elders die off and we have not picked up the reigns?

Everywhere you search in the new testament you find nudges to grow up, not to remain babies. The truth is, you are the church.

Some of us yearn for the old days, for the congregation that was not afraid to openly worship. Where did those old days go? If you have memories of them, then it means they are in you. Try raising your hands and worshiping the Lord of Lords and you will instantly discover the old days.

Have we been taught to wait for the next evangelist to revive us? Are we told to hold on for the next tent meeting or revival to nourish us? No, we are taught to stir it up in ourselves.

It's our responsibility to 'stir it up', keep 'it' alive, keep oil in our lamps. We are to learn what it is to walk in the light, to obey our savior, to listen to His Words and to be the church.

Stop looking to others to feed your spirit and start looking to the Holy Spirit. He's quite capable and waiting. You can have church alone in your bedroom, alone in the garage, alone on a hill side. If you miss the joy of worship then stir it up and lead, not follow.

Remember always that church is you - church walks in your shoes where ever you go.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Listen to Him. People don't listen to the Lord. They can read the gospels and never come out with the impact they should.

Jesus was no wimp. He taught His disciples as fast as He could, with the time He had to work with.

Note His reaction when the man brought his son to Jesus, because of fits, saying that His disciples tried to heal him with no results. Did Jesus immediately heal the boy? Not until He admonished His disciples and saying 'Vile of faithless generation' and 'how long shall I tarry with you'. That doesn't sound like much patience to me. It sounds like One who was running out of time and trying so hard, to get something across to them.

And what were His last Words on this earth? "Go ye therefore...." That, my friends, was a command from our leader and Master.

So how can you learn to follow Jesus, the way that He expected? Read the gospels and then read them again. When you are finished, start over and read it again and again and again until at last, your brain opens up and you see your Master for Who and what He truly is. You will know when it happens. Something changes inside you and you begin to view His teachings in a whole other light.

Then, you will begin to obey.

You've heard it said and it's written in the Word, "faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God". It's true. When you read the Word, read it again and again. As you read over and over, the Holy Spirit begins to move and when that happens, your faith builds. Try it. See if I'm not telling you true.

One never knows where the next trial will come but come they must and do, and we have to be prepared.

Prepared? Yes, you can prepare. You've heard it over and over and you're about to hear it again. Gird yourself up with the armor of God. There's that and building faith.

Remember how to build faith? It's no joke, folks, that faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

Anybody ever give much thought to the way that's worded? "Hearing by the Word of God" doesn't exactly give you the idea that means reading the Word, although that's the way it's interpreted. It gives you the idea that it's all up to us, that reading is where the hearing happens but I see it in a whole other light.

Why 'and hearing, by the Word of God' ? It wasn't a mistake in terms and it wasn't terminology of the times, it really meant 'BY the Word of God'.

The Word of God is a living word. Hard to fathom but what I mean is that when you pick up the Word with every intent of loving it, listening and learning from it, the Word actually comes alive by the Holy Spirit and begins to feed you. It truly is a 2 way street. You're not alone.

'Faith cometh by hearing', in this instance it means listening, taking it in, allowing something outside yourself to come in and change you. And where does this 'hearing' come from? It comes from a living Spirit. You do the reading, of course but you don't have the understanding without the Holy Spirit. Therefore, as you read, the Holy Spirit speaks, so you are 'hearing'.

When your earthly father speaks, it confirms in you constantly, that he exists and is real. It's part of our make up to absorb from all senses, to know what is real around us.

When your heavenly Father speaks, it confirms in you constantly, that He exists and is real.

God lives in us through Jesus. God's Holy Spirit lives in God's Word, which is written down for us. That's not to say that that book is God's Word. That's to say that God's Word lives in that book.

So what it boils down to is this - gird yourself with God's armor and read...read...read....

Be there IN the Word, unite with the Holy Spirit OVER the Word and let faith build. You're not building faith, the Holy Spirit is through the Word.

Daily devotions are not devotions to the Lord, they are devotions to yourself, keeping the Spirit alive and refreshed daily - Ready.

By staying constantly filled up, you stay constantly in the light and thereby ready for every trial.

Not knowing where and how the next trial will come, it helps to have the Holy Spirit doing battle with you, all the way. The pain may be the same, the anger may feel just as strong but just as having a strong immune system helps you to come through sickness faster, being built up daily will carry you through the trial faster and easier.

Goliath was still Goliath and David was still David but the outcome was swift and victorious because of David's faith. God did not remove Goliath just so that David wouldn't have to face him.

God does not own this earth. He gave it to Satan but then He gave us the authority over it, and although Adam gave away that authority, Jesus bought it back and gave it back to man. So the fact is this earth is still what it always was before our time - Satan's world but we are victorious over him, in that we have the authority over him. So sickness and disease, heart ache and fury, will not go away. We simply have been given the tools to come through the trials with victory.

I have just come through one trial which has left me angry. As a result of seeing the end of that trial, I am thrown into yet another. The fact is, in my life, the trials have never stopped but I come through them, one by one and stronger than before.

You don't have to be the strong one, your strength is in the Lord. Forgive yourself for crying, you are the human, He is the God. You can cry because it hurts but that doesn't mean you've given in to defeat.

When anger wells up, realize what you're angry with-it just might be your own decisions you're angry over. If you've made a wrong decision it most likely means you weren't listening to the Lord. Although the damage is hurting you and not Jesus, ask Jesus to forgive the stumble and go on with life. There are more battles to be fought and won.

How many times have you tried to explain to folks, what it is you mean when you say 'God speaks'.

Here's a true story from some years ago. Actually, 1987.

I was going through an especially trying time. Ok, a confession, I was facing divorce. My body was still recovering after a still birth and the doctors had me on medication for high blood pressure.

I saw the writing on the wall, trouble was coming my way and there was nothing I could do to stop it. This divorce was necessary for the safety of both myself and my 14 year old daughter. The problem was, we were living out in the sticks, 15 miles from the nearest town and 20 miles from the city where jobs might be possible.

I wasn't up to this physically, and knowing I was left with an old car that may or may not make it through the next 100 miles and worn out tires, didn't do a thing to comfort me. Of course, I had been a housewife, not having a job and jobs were scarce where we happened to live.

I was worried and daily begging the Lord for answers. For about a week, a tune kept rolling through my head. It was so constant, it was driving me nuts but I couldn't seem to replace it with another tune.

I kept catching myself humming that tune outloud, while I washed dishes. It even rolled through my head while trying to watch TV. It was a constant, that wouldn't stop. Day after day, I woke up with that tune and carried it with me through the entire day.

I could not, for the life of me, remember what the song was. Numerous times, I stopped to dwell on it, hum it, go over and over the tune, trying to drag out a few lines to remind myself. It was such a familiar tune, I knew that I knew what it was and just couldn't pull it out.

Worries and daily grind took precedence so the problem of that tune got pushed back. I even hummed a few bars for my daughter but she too, couldn't think of what song it was.

I happened to be raising a large flock of chickens and was out early one morning, getting their feed and as usual, praying for answers to the problems and along came that song again, butting into my very thoughts.

This time, I began to hum the tune and suddenly burst out with the words, "Seek ye first, the kingdom of God...." Bam! there is was! The tune that had been driving me crazy, ever since I had started whining at the Lord about the coming stressful things and not knowing what to do.

As I was praying, the Lord was giving the answer but I wasn't listening. I finished with the feed and ran all the way back to the house, screaming at my daughter, "I've got it! I've got it!" Then I explained to my daughter about the tune and what it meant.

Don't you know my snotty little daughter had a come back, "Well, are you going to do it or just talk about it?"

Tell me, the Lord doesn't have a sense of humor or that He doesn't talk to us.

Anybody out there feeling the way I am? After waiting for a lifetime, to see the events unfold that have now come to fruition, I get excited to know the Lord's coming is so near.

At the same time, I'm furious. I don't know, living in America, for some reason I always had the feeling those things were going to happen 'over there'. It still just amazes me to know that our very own government is also pushing us toward that eventful day.

The new world order was something we tagged back in the 60's and waited to see how it would happen. Now, not only is it happening, everybody is using the same term we used so long ago, for what was coming in the future. It makes me mad. As an American citizen, of course it infuriates me to know that our leaders are selling us out. At the same time, I realize this is something foretold.

Now, in the name of geo-engineering, jets are dumping tons of poison on us, almost every day. That pretty much leaves me in a state of fury. How dare they? What's more, they hide behind closed doors and tried to keep it a big secret for so many years. I'm dumb founded at how many people have no idea what I'm talking about. I have to describe the sky of yesterday, to my grandson.

Then I look at it from a different point of view. We always wondered how people could be so gullible as to accept a mark in the right hand or forehead, in allegiance to some guy they are to worship. It's beginning to clear for me. We're already sick from all the poison from our sky. We're breathing aluminum and barium and just think, it's all over our food. We're eating it too.

Our immune systems are just about shot and now I'm hearing rumors that these materials could also be responsible for early onset of Alzheimer's. That would explain a lot of dumbing down. If people aren't thinking straight, how easy it will be to convince them of just about anything. When you spend years not feeling well, you're not thinking straight. So, yeah, this is going to be a snap.

I watch as our world turns upside down. It's ok to talk about and even teach the Muslim religion in our schools, but just think about carrying a Bible and you'll be shot down and loudly. Everything that was standard practice in the U.S. is now against the law. Yes, it makes me mad. At the same time, I'm looking up.

While all bad, for the Christian it's all good signs. So while we walk steadily through this valley of the shadow of death, look up. Our redemption draweth nigh.