Mel B is getting "Brutally Honest" about a series of topics in her memoir released Tuesday.

In addition to writing of a 2014 suicide attempt when she ingested numerous pills, the Spice Girl whose real name is Melanie Brown remembers her dark days ofher marriage to ex Stephen Belafonte, turning to cocaine as a means to escape, as well as the brighter days of a blissful love affair with Eddie Murphy.

"Along the way you may do things that seem shocking to the rest of the world – like when I decided to have Stephen's name cut from the tattoo I'd had inked down my ribcage a few years after we got married," she writes in her book of the marking that formerly read: "Stephen, till death do us part, you own my heart."

Brown adds that she has modified the tattoo, but not with the help of a laser. "I had the piece of skin with his name on (it) cut out by a surgeon and I will burn that piece of flesh or bury it when I am ready," she writes. "The skin has healed. I am still healing. I still have a long way to go."

On the British talk program "Loose Women," Brown revealed why she skipped the laser and the whereabouts of the discarded flesh.

"I just thought, 'I can't go through the pain of getting it lasered off,' " she revealed, reasoning that she thought laser would be "more painful" than surgery.

"I've saved it in a jar, which sounds a bit strange, I know..." Brown said of the item that sits on top of her wardrobe. "Nobody can see it, but I know it's there, and it's off my body so it makes me feel so much better."

Brown says that once while filming "X Factor" she had plummeted "so low" she'd "started using cocaine to get me through the run of show, to get me through living with Stephen, which felt like neurotic claustrophobia... On so many levels, I felt myself sinking.”

While her drug use did not make her "proud," Brown writes it helped "to have a line of that white powder when I got up in the morning.” The benefits as she saw them? "It can blur the voices around you, it can keep you in your own world, or it can keep you moving."

"I didn’t want all the crap in my life to get in the way of the job I wanted to do, and knew, I was doing really well," she writes. For Brown, her "quick fix answer was cocaine.

"It took me less than a minute to get my hands on a regular supply – such is the power of celebrity," she states in her book. "I started using a couple of lines before I went into work."

Brown describes her "routine" for readers.

"I’d wake up in the morning and snort two lines. Then I would pray: ‘God, I’m sorry for taking cocaine, but please, God, help me get through this day.’ I was ashamed of what I was doing, but I felt I had to have it."

She estimates "I was probably taking five or six lines a day before and after work," and says she could feel the negative effects of the drug. "The cocaine only made my depression worse, and I was permanently anxious and on edge."

Mel B with her infant daughter Angel on the cover of the May 7, 2007 issue of OK! Weekly magazine.(Photo: RichardMcLarenPhotography.com/OK! WEEKLY)

But Brown's memoir isn't filled with only memories of sorrow. She has chapters on her romance with Eddie Murphy, which she says lasted nearly nine months. The comedian is the father of her middle daughter, Angel, 11.

Brown says she fell in love with him at first sight when she laid eyes on him at a dinner party at his house in May 2006.

Startled by her instant feelings, Brown bolted, giving the excuse that she had to "meet some friends at the Mondrian." Naturally, Murphy then moved the dinner party to the hotel.

"I loved his shyness and his sweet, gentlemanly ways, and he made me laugh," Brown recalled.

Brown says she declined Murphy's invitation to move in together, seeing his mansion as "a gilded cage," reasoning, "I'm too independent to live like that."

Still, Brown writes: "Eddie made me happier than any man I'd ever met. When I got pregnant with Angel, we jumped around his en-suite bathroom laughing and crying, bursting with the best news ever... Every day I would wake up and he’d tell me I was the most beautiful, incredible woman. I never felt so loved."

Brown said the two talked about walking down the aisle and that Murphy even asked her dad for permission.

But as Brown grew restless, she told Murphy she needed "a break for a few days," which didn't sit well with him. Murphy appeared to interpret their separation as a split and told a reporter the two had broken up and he didn't know "whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test."

"I do not – to this day – have any idea why Eddie would have said those words," Brown says in her book. "It was completely out of character for him to talk about his private life, and it was even more out of character for him to say something so damning and nasty about someone he loved.”

Brown said the two later talked on the phone which is when she told him: "That was really (expletive) stupid of you to say that. I can't forgive you for this..." She then told him, "I'm going to have to leave you now because that is what you've done to me."

Brown said her future calls to Murphy went unanswered, and he began dating Tracey Edmonds. Brown says Murphy's mom coordinated a reunion for the two and their daughter in May 2017.

"I've watched Angel blossom as she's got to know her dad and – after years of silence – I know one day we will all sit together and talk. There's too much unfinished business to leave it."

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