One small step at a time

It's been awhile since my last post, so long I can't even remember what it was I wrote about. ( Although at 52 not remembering isn't all that surprising.) But I started this blog because I had found myself involved in my very first interracial friends with benefits relationship. Which I totally screwed up, long drawn out story there. But I'm delighted to report that after a few rough spots we're actually reconnecting, perhaps not completely back to our former places but we're working on it. And working on it TOGETHER, which was a surprising aspect since I've never experienced a man willing to be so open, honest, and, hell I can't even find words to describe what I'm trying to say. It definitly scares me because I've never been treated so well by a man. He respects me, by this I mean he asks for, listens, and values my opinions. He's open and honest with me even if it's painful to hear. And that's just to name a couple things that seem to come naturally to him. Now me on the other hand .... am painfully reserved, easily intimated, and overly self conscious. In fact writing seems to come easier to me then the spoken word. I think that lies in the fact that I worry constantly whether or not I'm making sense or getting my intended point across. Am I saying the right word to convy my meaning sorta thing. Even in my writing I ramble. LOL (Thank god he's patient too) I'm not sure, and neither is he, just how far this will go. But I can tell you that I'm truely thankful that he allowed me back into his life. Just the fact that he's my friend has enriched my life and having him as a lover too...well friends I feel like I just won the lottery. Right now we're basically on what you may as well call a long distance relationship since I drive a semi- truck all over the USA these days. We're good with that, we take full adventage of everyday I get into town long enough for us to get to together. It's enough for now since it's almost like we're dating and getting to know each other again. There's no saying what the future holds for us, or even if there is one, so we're taking it as it comes one step at a time.