Energy, or Escape/Avoidance

October 28, 2012

This is a mini-rant. Kind of. Towards myself.

I used to have so much energy.

Well, duh, Amanda, you’re pregnant! That’s half of it!

Yes, but really I used to have SO much energy.

I’d go to a really difficult college and work three or four (no joke) jobs to pay the bills and somehow still get decent grades and hang out with my friends and participate in several clubs and my sorority. When I graduated, I’d teach full-time, advise three clubs, work football and basketball games, blog, cook, clean, and improve things.

Even after having Clark I didn’t slow down much. Until now.
I feel like I am putting all of my energy into my job (and I still don’t have enough to do that). I come home, like a zombie, try to stay awake until Clark goes to bed, and then I’m out like a light. I don’t have time for needs. I don’t have time for wants. I’m lucky if I remember that I need to wash the laundry before I head to bed and don’t have to beg my husband to change it over to the dryer in the middle of the night. Or that I need to shower. Which is a problem when third graders point out everything lol.

I need to pay bills, plan lessons, grade, do laundry, clean something every once in awhile, spend more time with my son. I want to blog more, spend time with my friends, sleep more (this one might be a need, actually), get on Pinterest and just veg out occasionally.

Why is it so much harder this time? Why can’t I adjust like I did before? Here’s hoping some of that energy returns soon so that I can get back to semi-normal.

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Don’t be too hard on yourself, Amanda! Your body will adjust eventually 🙂 When my sister was pregnant with her 2nd she had to adjust and now that she has 3 (aged 5, 3 and 8 months) and homeschools 2 of them it’s been another big adjustment.

Next semester, I have to maintain my full-time job, take 22 credit hours and complete a 250 hour internship while volunteering and participating in various clubs, etc. I’m a little worried about that! I can’t imagine how you are accomplishing all that you do. Give yourself some credit!

Celesta, you are an amazing friend! I wish you still lived close. Thanks for all of your support over the years- I don’t know how I would have gotten this far without your Cheerleading for me 🙂 and as for next semester- you can do it!!!

You aren’t alone. We are expecting our second one in December and I’ve also been struggling with getting everything done. I know I underestimated how much having a child already would pull from my energy resources. Thinking of you!