Saturday, November 17, 2012

Once again I find myself sitting in a hospital, my heart heavy and torn between being a mommy and wife and being a daughter. My daughter, husband, home and job in one state, my Dad in another. I leave tomorrow to go back home to work for a few days, take care of my little person, and spend some time with the hubby. What happens from then, I have no idea. Hubby and I are both torn about Thanksgiving. We would like to spend it with his parents but also want to take little R to see her Poppy. They don't interact alot but she brightens his day and he enjoys watching her play.
My Dad has had a significant cognitive decline, a possible TIA, is unable to swallow and had a hip replacement in the past few weeks.
Tomorrow's barium swallow test determines whether or not he can resume eating or has to have a feeding tube put in. Even if the test comes back positive, he may still need a tube for meds and additional nutrition. Either way, he will be moving to a nursing home in the next few days.
The idea of my Dad being in a nursing home 300 miles away makes my heart ache. The thought of him possibly not being able to get up and get around, get dressed, go to the potty, etc on his own and relying on others to do these things for him makes me cry.
So, I will pray for God's Will and peace and comfort for both my dad and me.