The Unknown Blogger

IWACS

by Unknown Blogger,posted Apr 2 2009 11:39AM

The other day I was relaxing outside at a local pub, soaking up the sun while soaking my liver and I witnessed one of the saddest, funniest things unfold before my eyes. There was a person driving a beat up Volkswagen beetle and while talking on their cell phone drove right into, of all things, a telephone pole.
The vehicular/cellular challenged dunderhead was looking straight ahead so it wasn't like he wasn't watching the road. Instead, he apparently was suffering from a very common phenomenon known as idiot-with-a-cell phone syndrome or IWACS for short.
Just because you have a cell phone doesn't mean you have to use it all the time, wherever you are, no matter what you're doing. Many people have just turned into walking cell phones.
Talking on your cell phone while driving should be an obvious example of what not to do while traveling at 55 miles per hour but let's let that one go. And if you don't think that's an accident waiting to happen, you could be an IWAC.
Instead, let's talk about the person who thinks it's absolutely imperative that they take a call while in line at, say, the bank. They endlessly blather on about what they just ate, where, how much it cost, who they were with, why they ate there, how they now have a case of the farts, etc., etc. etc. After about five minutes of mindless chatter, I just want to take their Motorola RAZR and slit my freaking wrists.
I still get a kick out of those people who don't trust their technology and feel they have to talk really loudly while using their cell phone as though the person at the other end may not be able to hear them on such a tiny phone. I mean if you're talking to the point of screaming, why use a phone? At that decibel level, the person can probably hear you without the phone. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
Why do some people feel they must be in constant communication with everyone on the planet?
If you're an IWAC, I have a suggestion for you. Why not do away with your cell phone and learn to be clairvoyant? No pesky phones with dead zones and costly contracts. Just enroll in Madame Babushka's Clairvoyant Academy and you'll be communicating with anyone you wish, whenever you wish, even dead people. “Hi uncle Sylvester. What's hell like? Is it hot? Is it a dry heat or just really humid?”