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Up to this point, all of the FFF posts have been items that you make beforehand so your ass can sit in its rightful place on the sofa come kickoff.

Since my team had the BYE last week, I was able to relax a little (DAMMIT WARD GET HEALTHY ALREADY) and make a football snack that required me to spend a little more time in the kitchen. (As I have noted before, I have this small superstition that if you are more concerned about the action off the field at game time, the more likely it is that your team is going to lose. My mojo/karma/good wishes were certainly not required for the Dolphins-Browns and Pats-Cowboys games.)

Cuban bread or Hoagie Rolls
Thinly sliced ham (Big fan of the “Tavern Ham” you can get at deli counters everywhere.)
Sliced dill pickles
Swiss or Provolone cheese (Not all people like Swiss. Both make a good sandwich. Be polite and ask what your guests prefer.)
Mayonnaise
Mustard
Butter
Roasted Pork, thinly sliced

A word about the pork –

Traditionally, this is made with sliced pork loin. Finding a pre-roasted pork loin is tough, and roasting a whole pork loin is only good if you have a huge crew to feed. (Or if you are really good at using leftovers, which I am not.)

Instead, I baked pork chops – which come from the loin – in a marinade of lemon juice, olive oil, oregano, and minced garlic at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes, turning once or twice so they’d stay moist. Once the meat is done and has a minute to rest, trim off the fat and slice. Four pork chops made seven sandwiches.

Melt just a little bit of butter and brush just a touch over the top of the bread, so it will not stick to the press. DO NOT over butter the bottom half – or at all if you are using non-stick – or you will burn the bread. (Years of making grilled cheese sandwiches and I still burn them a good 40% of the time.)

Heat both your griddle and grill press. If you do not have a grill press, use a clean brick wrapped with aluminum foil. (CLEAN BRICK. I don’t know why, but this should be some sort of either kicker or basketball term. I don’t know how. You kids work out the meme.)

See the Cakesters in the background? I blame GordonShumway and Metschick for those. Just saying.

Thin layer of mustard on the top piece of bread, thin layer of mayo on the bottom half. Or just use mayo. Or just use mustard.

Stack in this order; Ham, pork, pickles. (God, what I wouldn’t give to hear that in the huddle. “HAM PORK PICKLES ON ONE!”)

Next play, add cheese and another layer of ham.

That is right. More ham. Or as my friend V loves to say, “PORK! WRAPPED IN MORE PORK!” This is funny only because it is after he has yelled this about 15 times does he ask, “WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE BACON ON IT TOO??!?!?”

Once you have your sandwiches assembled, make sure your grill is ready, but not too hot. (See above, burnt bread.) And look for a new camera. Just don’t trust any you see on eBay listed from seller BILLSSWTSHRTRS4U. They’re tainted from MILF porn.

Press sandwich on the grill.

Once they’ve had an initial squishing, move them too a cooler side of the grill, but leave the press on.

Heat until cheese is melted and the meat is heated. (If you did want to make these during a week your team is playing, you could assemble sandwiches ahead of time and grill at the half.)

Once done, cut in half and serve with potato or pasta salad.

Cocktail of the week: Anything and tonic

I know I’ve been slacking on making new cocktails each week for the FFF. Mostly because too many drinks are not football friendly (you might want to remember the game, or at least, remember why you drafted Rolle) and because the past few Thursdays I’ve been out drinking and watching baseball with friends.

Never underestimate the tonics; either gin or vodka. And don’t discount the importance of the quality of both your alcohol and your tonic. Nothing makes me leave a bar faster than a shitty tonic mix coming out of their beverage gun. Bars that use individual little tonic bottles, especially when they also have diet tonic, have my undying loyalty.

Last week at Barney’s Beanery. Oh crap, I cannot see what I just took a picture of.

See? A good vodka tonic has you using the flash in a dark bar in no time, despite your better judgement.

New Product Review of the Week: Doritos Smokin’ Cheddar BBQ.

Buy a bag of regular Doritos. Open bag. Pour 1/4 a bottle of liquid smoke into bag. Close bag. Shake. Open bag.

Same thing.

Next Week: Breakfast Strata and reviews of three leading blueberry beers!

Whether or not it’s supposed to, I think these Cubans definitely benefited from the mayo. After you press it, it mostly cooks into the bread and makes it a tad crispier. Absolutely phenomenal stuff.

I too am with TSW on the gin. We usually carry Bombay Saffire around the house, but for a very, very, very long time (seven years, I think), I carted around a Cost-Co sized bottle of Tanqueray I could never finish off. Damned if I’ll ever buy it again.

And one more thing: We here at the TSW/IJMTU household FULLY EMBRACE the idea of wrapping meat in more meat. Be it a Cuban Press, or maybe a nice filet surrounded in bacon. Hooray for meat!

Last year against the Rams, Seattle Seahawk kicker Josh Brown claims to have struck a 34 yd attempt which hit both left and right uprights, then the crossbar, before it fell to the turf in front of the goal posts. This I believe could be defined as a CLEAN BRICK ;)

The only problem I have with this recipe is my lack of a grill press or a brick. I live in the city, where the only readily available bricks are in my walls. I wonder if I could use my cast-iron skillet instead, if I wrapped it in foil. All you really need is something heavy.

Metsy-it’s big. I have a hard time eating anything that’s it’s been on, even if there is no strong flavor. I’ve gotten a little better at just taking the pickles out and then eating the food.

TSW-I might just have to try that. Is the pickle there for the flavor or for the crunch aspect? Cause if it’s there just for the crunch then I would think bacon would be a good replacement for pickles.