Sub Zero is okay

So I went to Sub Zero Ice Cream on Friday after the stupid BYU football game. I’d never been, but I’d heard lots of things about it. Mostly, I’d heard that it was real sciencey, so I was intrigued by that. Heads up, though: it’s way overpriced (like, $7 for a small bowl). But liquid nitrogen IS expensive, so that’s fair.

Sub Zero’s thing is that they use liquid nitrogen to freeze your ice cream right before your eyaz. You choose a base (normal premium cream, lowfat cream, custard, yogurt, nondairy milk, soy milk, or rice milk), choose a flavor (they have a plentitude to throw in — choco powder, fruity flavors, and other junk), and then maybe some mix-ins (like brownie bits or fruit chunks or whatever), then they spray it with the liquid nitrogen (or whatever — I don’t know how it works, but here’s a video of the scientific process), then they scoop it into a cone or bowl for you.

Cool process, but how does it taste?

I chose premium cream because it was obviously gonna be the best/tastiest. Then, because I’d been using this super-good-smelling mango and pomegranate soap all week, I chose mango flavor. I didn’t get any mix-ins because they cost 70 cents a pop and I’m a cheapskate.

Mango, yo.

The texture was terribly creamy. Just cream on cream on cream rolling through my mouth. I loved it.

Unfortunately, the mango was super fake-tasting and I don’t like super fake. I like my ice cream like I like my women: real and THICK. Even though it was creamy enough, the mango tasted like waxy chapstick. After the first couple bites, I got used to it, but it didn’t taste like how I liked that soap. So sad.

I sampled some other flavors to see if just the mango was sad. Chocolate was legitimately good, cheesecake was super sugary, and raspberry was good too.

Brownie batter. Mmmmmmmmm.

So if you want to take your tongue for a stroll on the sciencey side, take it to Sub Zero, but maybe ask someone there for a flavor suggestion.