Monday, April 1, 2013

EA is no stranger to the video games industry, having been founded in 1982. However after all this time they are finally making the plunge into the hardware market, announcing today that they have plans on releasing a yet to be seen handheld game console this holiday season. Specs are unknown aside from the fact that the device will have a front facing camera that will constantly be streaming footage of everything you do to the nearest EA server. It was also announced that the system will require a constant internet connection to be used "after the massive success of Simcity's recent launch," said EA spokesperson.

The spokesperson went on to say, "John Riccitiello was a fantastic CEO and gamer and he will be truly missed. However, he wanted to go out with a bang, so just last week he told the board about what will be his last great achievement, a brand new handheld device jam-packed with always-on DRM." Riccitiello recently announced that he will be stepping down from his position of CEO at EA soon.

"I just follow the clearly written instructions in the emails my investors send me and things seem to work out in the end," said Ricitiello. "We've received criticism in the past few years from gamers, though I believe our consumers simply don't know what they really want."

"He was a pioneer in giving gamers everything they want; constant connectivity with the world while gaming, new content available for games the day they come out for a small extra price, and new distribution platforms such as Origin that bring all the fans of our games together in one extremely controlled environment," continued the spokesperson. "I think what will set our new handheld apart from the rest is the requirement to purchase games from our brand new platform, Origin Mobile, creating a singular, streamlined approach of purchasing games. This will eliminate the need to go out to a retailer and buy a physical copy, every game can be, and will be, downloaded from your own home at regular retail price."

The new handheld system from EA is set to launch at $1399.99 in the United States and will feature a required, paid firmware update at launch for $15.99.