struggles, successes, stories and frustrations from following a dream

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WAIT! I’m not going to ask for your money. Your spare cash should go to a cause that needs it. What I need is quick, simple and free. The emotional support of friends and strangers has kept me afloat. Not surprisingly, many of my friends want to help but don’t have the time for the actual production. There are three ways I’ve listed below. Over the next month I am going to push the page in an effort to get 3,000 likes by April 1st.

If you’ve enjoyed the show at all, here is a quick checklist to really help me out:
1) Like the Facebook Page right now. This is the biggest sign of support.

2) If you share your favorite clip or an episode (you’re awesome), share it from the Local Brew fan page, or just tag the show in your post. I really do appreciate the kudos to me, but it’s not about me. Remember?

3) One time, just once… share the page itself. You can do this from the bottom of the left column of the page where it says share. You can share on your timeline, on a group page, or in a message to a friend.

I’ve done my best not to vomit ‘like my page’ updates all over facebook without having the content to back it up. I feel I’ve earned the right to vomit a couple times and promise not to abuse your newsfeed. Also, this was written while listening to this throwback — now we both have it stuck in our head.

I just read this article in the WSJ on YouTube celebrities and the money in it… talking about how some of these guys make upwards of a million a year. The interview with this one clown RayWJ makes me feel optimistic and frustrated at the same time. Frustrated because I watch what he does and first of all, mother fucker is all about him (which is cool, brand yourself – I get it), but because it’s this low quality rip of what others have done MUCH better than him. When I think of web videos and commentary, Patrice O’neil (one of my favorite comics, RIP) basically originated how to make this funny with his Vh1 show, Web Junk. Daniel Tosh is really good too, but the point is that the idea of throwing up on the internet isn’t a goal for entertainers. That’s why when people are like, really like the show you’re going to be a like a youtube celebrity — I want to kick them in the teeth. Granted that’s only been said to me like 4 times, but it seems like more.

Optimistic as well though. Why? Because all these guys are all out for themselves, and I like the idea of being different. I’ve had so much fun the past month, and even filming last night at a shady motel on Aurora — because there are SO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE around me. This gal, Debora, came out and played this part and absolutely killed it. She was a friend of a friend and man was she awesome…just going to show that if I were to make this show all about me, it would limit the shit out of it.

Anyways, this is vomit now… but in the midst of ep 2 craziness, I wanted to get this on page (?) while it was fresh. There will always be room for quality and community to succeed. At least that’s what I believe until it’s proven to be otherwise.

Episode 1 in the can. The month of January has been craaaaazy and it’s unfortunate I didn’t do a better job of writing as things went along. The blizzard thing kinda through everything off. When the predictions were coming in, I realized even if I wanted to shoot what I’d planned (originaly a Matrix parody) I wouldn’t have been able to. It couldn’t have worked out better, and I’m really happy with how it turned out.

There were a couple nights I really didn’t think I’d get the episode done on time. In my head I was like, what does Jan 25th matter? It can be later, I’m writing the rules. Luckily I told my lazy side to shut the fuck up and I had to stick to the goals I had set. It felt like school again when ‘d wait until the night before a huge paper was due and just work through the night.

The green screen segments of just me, shit, I didn’t start filming the night before at 9pm. Turned my apartment into a studio. It took me 40 minutes to shoot once I started. I just stared at the camera and didn’t say anything for 4 minutes… actor ross would not have been proud. That’s what made it more difficult I think, is that it was just me. Felt like I was a news anchor and the lights were coming up my first time at the desk. All the talk, planning, rejection, expectations, highs/lows, and everthing else that it’s been up to this point kind of just hit me. Literally, the first four minutes of film were me standing staring at the camera. It didn’t seem that long when I was standing there, but the time code didn’t lie when I went to edit.

After more than a year of preparation, learning, and saving, I am creating a local online comedy show called Local Brew. This is the one page overview of wtf that means, explaining everything but wtf wtf means…

Yeah, that’s it. I have tried to maintain my job(s) and simultaneously produce this but it needs everything I’ve got. The website is not live yet, but will be very soon. Right now there’s just a fake out image, my b. That being said, I’m going to try and answer questions that some friends have asked.

FAQ!
1) Are you acting, writing, producing, etc?
Yes to all of them. I am getting help from a two other incredibly talented comedians that make up for my weaknesses and double my strengths (…spinach?) for the content, but truthfully there are more people and will continue to be more people involved. Hopefully, you will want to help too!

2) Do you have sponsors?
Ugh, it’s not all about money people! No, there are not sponsors right now. After 26 years of getting things for free and holding 90 jobs, I’ve saved up enough to survive for about 4 months with a baby boo boo budget to pay for the things I absolutely cannot get for $free.99 — the goal is to create great content first, and worry about that green later. This show is being built from the underground up.

3) Have you seen Portlandia?
Yes, and it’s fucking great. But this is not that show. In fact, that show didn’t exist when this first started. Local Brew is not for people that live outside of Washington, and plays in a different format. There are no plans to go anywhere with this show beyond this city. The only plan, if the show goes well, is a soft spot on KING5’s pillow. Plus, Seattle is way cooler than Portland. Let’s be serious.

4) Have you heard of Almost Live?
Yes. The idea for Local Brew came when I was doing this Taco Time commercial with Pat Cashman, of Almost Live fame. When I asked why everyone loved him so much, he told me about the show. I’d later find out that it still airs and still pulls great ratings, sometimes better than SNL. It got me thinking…

6) Why?
There are so many great answers that are all true, some of which you wouldn’t believe unless you had the whole context of why I’m even in Seattle. The short answer is this: I want to leave this place knowing that I’ve made as many people smile as I possibly could. Lord knows I have made some shitty and haunting decisions, broke hearts, and been incredibly selfish at times, but we all do and I’ve learned that this is ‘growing up.’ In a world that seems so full of hate and pessimism at times, I want to bring back an outlet for people to laugh. I want Local Brew to be on the list of friends you go to when you need to laugh. Seattle is the only city where a show like this can exist because of its heart and character. A big part of this show is community, and I intend to keep it that way. We all find sooner or later what drives us, inspires us, and how we can use who we are to achieve our goals. This is my cause, but it is not my only reason. I’m vomiting emotions at this point, but that’s why I put it last. I’m a fucking emotional person, sorry.

I’ll end this, my first public post, with an excerpt from my first private post:
“This is my first note, and although you probably won’t remember it much as it gets buried in the shoe box, know that from the start – it’s not about me. I promise you this. At times it may not appear as such and I may promote myself and go to fancy dinners wearing fancy suits, but I know that this life isn’t about me. If I ever cross that line with you, check me. I can’t promise I’ll agree with you, but I will always listen.”

Thank you for your support, for the likes and the comments, the smiles and hugs. This is going to be an interesting couple of months and I’m scared out of my mind, but I am following my dreams before it’s too late.
Here we go!

One thing is true: I am either incredibly crazy, or an absolute genius. Crazy because today I am leaving a job where I got paid well to make videos and do what I love to do. Crazy because before this I was a jobless hustler, living on couches for three years, applying for jobs and getting work from craigslist. Crazy because I had insurance, security, and a steady paycheck in a time where even a masters degree doesn’t guarantee those things. Absolute genius because I know that there is more to this life than money, nothing is certain, and time is a limited resource. Genius because I am not letting logic dictate my path, rather allowing it to guide my decisions as I embark on this journey.

I had the most incredible outpouring of support when I posted on facebook that “tomorrow i leave my job to follow my dream… pretty sure this will be the only time i will ever be able to say this” …116 likes and 40 some odd comments later I think I got even MORE excited than I already am. This is real, and I’m actually doing this. I have to keep telling myself that. I’ve been up writing a trailer for the show that parodies the original Matrix trailer. Odds I can get Sir Mix A Lot in it? Not huge but this it what it’s about: Dream big, do bigger.

For the past 4 mornings, I’ve woken up and listened to epic soundtrack music. I think I’m trying to get in the habit of feeling epic every day, and it’s kind of working. Besides getting really excited that each morning there’s something new and challenging to look forward to — this music gets you HYPED! Usually I listen to orchestral music when I write, and that’s how all this music landed in my library, but it has become a great juxtaposition to Skrillex … for now.

The tracks all have such deep titles too: Infinite White, There is No Plan, Matrix of Leadership, Nest. Okay well that last one maybe not, but you get it.

Today’s the day Banyan Branch gets the news of my departure. Prediction: everyone will uncontrollably burst into tears.
“What is this salty discharge?”

Made it! I’m sitting here at my desk, beginning my last week. I’ve start my new workout and on day 3, I am incredibly sore. Which is more me calling myself a bitch than anything else. It’s embarrassing when it hurts to roll over in bed, but that’s what I get for doing virtually nothing the past 6 months. Moving on…
I met with Fred and Ron yesterday at Fred’s office space in Sodo. We went over format, tone, questions, and set our sights for our first writing session. Tuesday the 10th (one week from today). Our aim for the first full sketch is to be a “first cut” tourism video for a neighborhood. Toss ups are between Kent, Kirkland, Shoreline, Everett… basically a handful. We’re going to put these up with different facts that we could riff off, pick one and make it happen.

I thought about doing a Seattle version, but want to establish that you won’t get it if you’re not from here right off the bat. In any case, I’m ready to start making.