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Topic: The Maggot says bye. For now.. (Read 6674 times)

Well,for all those of you who have come to like and enjoy the company of this wee little fly larvae,unlikely as that sounds ,I have come to announce my temporary retirement from the wondrous hub of creation that is the Citadel.

On the Friday of this week,I enter the service of the military,and take the first step on the path to becoming a mean,lean killing machine in the service of the nation.

It would be nice if running around with a loaded M-16 was all there was to enlistment in the Army,but that is sadly not the case. The ardrous training that will soon commence for me,will keep me from my beloved Citadel for quite a long stretch of time. How long exactly,I have yet to know. But I do not need extensive information to know that it will be long enough for me to begin pining for the creative lunacy found in surfeit here.

Wish me luck,Strolenites. This little Maggot is going to need it,if he's to become one of the best among house flies that there are.

Logged

“I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.” -Bill Watterson

Thanks for the tips,Milord Strolen. My instincts tell me that the one which touches on the best way of escaping routine military inspections unscathed,will come in very useful indeed. Clothes usually look neater when I don't subject them to the rough handling I call ''folding''.

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Treat it like a game and enjoy watching everybody else get all worked up about it. It _can_ be very fun!

I'd better hope my mad fits of giggling don't give me away,eh?

Logged

“I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.” -Bill Watterson

We kept all of our daily use clothes in the dirty laundry bag. Used a clean shirt to seperate the dirty from the useable. We made our drawers up and didn't touch them again.

Short story.

I was on the bottom cot of the bunk beds, the cot above me was empty and so they didn't inspect it. It made perfect sense to me then to make my cot perfect, and sleep in the top one. Then making the top bed would take minimal effort since they don't inspect it and mine would always be shiny.

So, along with the cot, on the end you would tie your laundry bag, hang your towel, and set up your shoes. There were stringent requirements how each were to be positioned.

So, one night there was a midnight inspection. They come to me sleeping in the empty cot. Now, the inspector saw the bottom bunk with the laundry bag, shoes, etc., all set up nice but no body sleeping in the cot. The top cot had a body sleeping in it and was missing the laundry bag, shoes, etc., so there was a slight hole in my plan.

They didn't wake me up but I failed that inspection and got humiliated the next morning when they pointed out my little ruse. It saved me 3 weeks of bed making so it was worth it, but was pretty darn funny anyway.

1. Treat a gun as if it is loaded at ALL times.Did you look inside the barrel? Remove the magazine? Feel and look inside just to be sure? Good! IT'S STILL LOADED

2. NEVER point a gun at anything you are willing to see be shot or otherwise destroyed. You may also not point the gun the gun at your instructor. If you're going to shoot someone, go for the enemy.

3. DO NOT put your finger on the trigger unless your target is lined up with your sight. Always choose the safest possible direction and point to it. but remember THERE IS NO SAFE DIRECTION, only the SAFEST.

4. Be aware of your target, in addition to what is behind and beyond it. bullets rarely hit someone and stop, and there is ALWAYS a chance it will ricochet when aiming slightly downward (Rocks do that!)

Have fun and goodluck, Maggot! The Citadel salutes you!

P.S. I'm not sure about elsewhere, but in America they refer to trainees as "Maggots," (Or do so in hollywood) I guess it'll just be literally this time