*The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on thefreeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."*

*The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurancecompensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."*

*The man perks up.*

*"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But Iunderstand that you have been married for over thirty years and this issomething you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incherbefore and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had anine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, shemight be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping youmake a decision."*

*The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.*

*The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"**"Yes I have," says the man.*

*"And has she helped you make a decision?"*

*"Yes" says the man.*

*"What is your decision?" asks the doctor*

*"We're getting granite counter tops."*

_________________________Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie MameYou are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul