My Mess, His Message

I walked into this post-abortion healing journey feeling extremely uncertain and blind. I was scared, anxious about the emotion that would be relived and unsure of what would lie beyond the journey. But at it came to a close, I was a knowledgeable and confident woman. I knew the truth about deception, fetal development and post-abortion trauma – and I was now confident in my story. While I still regretted the decision I made to have the abortion, I was (and still am) confident in my Savior and His ability to heal, restore and redeem my sin. My repentance has paved the way for Him to make all things new.

The memorial service that I held for my son didn’t necessarily provide closure, but it gave me comfort and assuredness that my baby was with the Father. I don’t know that there is ever a way to have “closure” in the loss of a child.

All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

I gained the confidence that I knew – really knew – that all of my days were known to God before I had ever lived them out. I understood that my Heavenly Father knew what my path would be and loved me through it, bringing me back into relationship with Him. This really made me want to accept my circumstances, my story and my calling in life. If the Lord knew what choices I would make and would still allow me to be a part of His story, I would be committed fully to Him.

I had already heard the Lord’s vision for my life before I started this journey – “Make your mess your message”. I knew that He wanted me to use my story to help other women who have walked a similar road to mine. My story is a powerful one – and so is yours.

They overcome him by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus), and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives as to shrink away from death. Revelation 12:11

Who did they overcome? The deceiver. The one who uses all of his energy trying to pry humankind away from their Maker – in any way he possibly can. When we are covered by Jesus’ blood (accept Him as our Savior because of what he did on the cross and commit to follow Him) and share our stories under any and every circumstance, we overcome the deceiver.

I love what the author of the study I went through says when she said, “We are saved to serve God! We are healed to serve others!”

God uses our stories to help others. Have you ever noticed that if you’re dealing with a difficult decision or a difficult situation that you often seek out someone who has dealt with a similar situation? Why is that? We learn from those who have gone before us. We learn from the mistakes and successes of others. God created us to be in relationship with Him and with others – sharing our stories.

We have credibility through our experiences to have relevancy with others.

The last step in this healing journey was to really think about how I could honor God by giving back to others – which was great to think through since the Lord had already made it clear that I was to do something with my story to glorify Him. I just didn’t know exactly what yet. At this point in my life, I was willing to be obedient to the Lord in whatever He had planned for me.

You’ve seen this passage in a previous post as I was going through my healing journey:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Isaiah 61:1-3

One of the exercises in the study was to replace the word “me” in this passage with my name:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on Heather,because the Lord has anointed Heather to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent Heather to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

Now you try it. Insert your name where mine is above. How empowered does that make you feel to tell your story boldly to glorify your Heavenly Father? How moved do you feel to proclaim God’s goodness and His commitment to us, if we’d only turn to Him and repent? I felt like I needed to start acting right then and there!

I had all sorts of ideas of how my story could be used to bring fame and glory to my Lord – some of which happened, some of which have not. I had to calm my mind and my spirit so that I could listen for how He wanted me to proceed, not just how I wanted to proceed. The specifics didn’t actually come for another few months, but when He finally told me, there was no doubt that was the path. This blog is one of a few results of His calling.

What is your story? Really think about this. My husband helped me to realize that my story was much more than my abortion – it was all of my life choices and relationships that led me to where I am today. What has your journey looked like? How did you get to where you are today?

What is your story? How can you use your story to glorify the Lord and to help others?

What I’ve Learned:

I started this healing journey feeling uncertain and blind and left the journey feeling knowledgeable and confident.

The Lord knew my days and my decisions before I ever even lived one of them.

The Lord uses our stories of healing, restoration and redemption to glorify Him and to help others.

I overcome the deceiver by accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, following Him, and sharing my story.

The Lord empowered me to serve Him when He called me to share my story.

Refining Time:

What is your story? What is your full story? How did you get to where you are today?

How can you use your story to glorify the Lord and help others?

How have you healed from past hurts in your life? How has the Lord healed, restored and redeemed you?

Where do you need healing, restoration and redemption?

If you need prayer or would like to talk, please contact me privately. I would love to pray with you, pray for you or simply be an ear to hear. God bless you.