Sunday, September 19, 2004

A.O.Hell on Earth

I'm home in Miami this weekend visiting the folks. Because they read the blog, I can't get into the details of my trip. If interested in reading more about my dealings with the "rents", check out my other blog "Someonepleasegetmeoutofthishell.blogspot.com". You will notice no links in this post since, due to the AOL my father insists on using, by the time I google the appropriate websites and pictures and work my magic, the camera will cut back to the chair I'm sitting in 105 years from now, where a dusty skeleton wearing my glasses will appear to have replaced me. So please, Google funny pictures and anecdotes at your own discretion.

On a lighter note, I did see my 10 day old niece Danielle, who I must say appears to have inherited the highly sought after "Collins Genius Gene."

One saving grace here in So Fla is the local news, which never fails to deliver. Example: In a promo commercial, we see the picture of a man's horribly scabbed stomach, with the voiceover saying "This man thought he had found the perfect hiding place from Hurrican Frances.... until he was attacked by two pitbulls."

Just finished watching the Emmys (not including an hour-long special I took in about Henry the VIII and his wives that was UN-believably good). Couple of things off of the top of my head:

- Listening to Jeffrey Wright of Angels in America fame begin to talk about the AIDS epidemic at the same time as the "Wrap it Up" music began to swell into its glorious horn-ucopia. Innaaappprrrooopprrriiiaaattteee.

- A saggy boo to Allison Janney for winning (so sick of her). Also, cheers to her for causing the most hilarious/embarassing moment of the show. Janney chose to be the bigger man, inviting her fellow nominees to the stage with her. I watched in horror and delight as only D-lister Marissa Hargitay took her up on her offer, being the ONLY ONE to walk onto the stage, while the other three noms sat firmly planted in their thousand dollar gowns. Hargitay was practically spewing vinegar, acting lik such a douchebag. Really, if you missed this, I feel sorry for you. I DIED LAUGHING.

- "Kudos" to Arrested Development. Not only for winning, but also for fueling Larry David's trademarked "Angry Fire." And a "chocolate covered granola bar" to Chris Rock for the funniest line of the night ("Who in the hell is Elaine Stitch?").

One final note of self-promotion: I will be appearing on an internet radio talk show Monday to talk about Votergasm, which I've been living and breathing for a couple of weeks now. You can listen to me! (Warning: Hearing my voice may ruin whatever notions you have of me sounding like a lilting rose. Really, picture Brad Garrett of Everybody Loves Raymond singing The Best of Nina Simone, and then reading a passage from The Book of Obscure References that Nobody Cares About.)

The info: I'll be on Renegade Talk Radio from 12:30 to 1:00 EST/ 9:30 to 10:00 PST. The show is called Blunt, and apparently there are no FCC regulations. Will I drop the F-Bomb? Tune in and find out! In the meantime, I'll be back on Tuesday.