Weird Shit I Ate During My School Days

31 January 2018
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Let us celebrate being true to ourselves! Today on #BeYou, I’m gonna reveal some tales from my school days. I was a pretty curious kid back in my school days. I was most curious about the taste of things so much so that I sampled really weird things. Here are some of the strangest things I’ve tried.

I can still remember how it makes my fingers all black while bringing it to my mouth.

Wooden Pencil Shavings

After sharpening my pencils, I was hungry and the shaving beckoned. After already eating pencil lead so why not. Predictably the shavings tasted extremely woody and the texture was horribly hay-like. The taste was similar to that of those disposable wooden chopsticks but a tad bit more raw and green.

Gross factor: 7
Yum factor: 2
Texture factor: 2

Mechanical Pencil Lead

It all started with my introduction to mechanical pencils. For some reason, I thought that using the pencil the lead was a great idea to curb my hunger. The sandy metallic taste was a bit of a turn-off but the crunch when I bit into it was really fun.

Gross factor: 3
Yum factor: 1
Texture factor: 5

Exam Papers

This might the most edible item on this list. Once, I got really frustrated during my Chinese exam so I tore it in half and shoved the exam paper into my mouth. Then, I waited for my saliva to soften the paper before I started chewing on it. Paper has a really musky taste and the more you chew, the harder it becomes until the enzymes in your saliva break the paper down.

Gross factor: 2
Yum factor: 3
Texture factor: 1

Art and Craft Glue

Enough with dry and hard things, its time for some liquid. Do you remember those cheapo glues you used in art lesson?

These glues are practically useless. They make everything wet and destroyed countless pieces of my artless artwork. So, to take revenge, I applied some glue to my fingers and waited for it to dry. Once the glue dried, I peeled it off from my fingers strip by strip and began to eat those strips. Taste-wise, it is very similar to eraser dust, but glue is pretty bitter when not fully dried and does not break down in your mouth at all no matter how you chew.

Gross factor: 6
Yum factor: 4
Texture factor: 1

I spent a lot of time trying to create rubber noodles…

Eraser Dust

You’re still here? That’s great because the list is getting weirder. About eraser dust. Eraser dust tastes exactly as it smells; rubbery and flat. The dust breaks down fairly easily while you chew it. Sometimes, I kneaded the dust until it becomes longer and longer like a piece of noodle before popping it into my mouth.

Gross factor: 5
Yum factor: 4
Texture factor: 4

Paint water

I was an art student but I sucked at painting. Once during an exam, while squeezing paint into my palette, the paint spurted out and flew into my mouth. My God was it a horrible taste! It was spicy and bitter so I had to wash it down with the water I was rinsing my paint brushes with. Yup, I drank the paint water after eating paint. The water itself was, however, rather palatable. It tasted pretty earthy and had a rubbery fragrance to it.

Gross factor: 8
Yum factor: 4
Texture factor: 0

Dried liquid paper

Bored to tears in class, I started to apply liquid paper to my nails to give myself an ill-advised manicure. Predictably, my teacher was not impressed. She told me to get rid of it or face detention. 2 minutes later, my nails were cleaned. How? Of course, I ate it all up. I scraped my nails against my teeth and curl by curl, the dried liquid paper came off. Dried liquid paper feels really chalky and sandy but tasted pretty bland.

Gross factor: 7
Yum factor: 2
Texture factor: 1

A spider

Spiders might be delicacies elsewhere, but we do not typically eat spiders in Singapore. I used to like catching spiders and I had a spider that was pretty smart. That spider would always jump back into its container after I let it out for a walk. While I was showing it off to my classmates, it decided to jump to my thumb and bite me. In my shock, I smacked it hard with my palm while muttering “You bite me!? I bite you!” Bruised egos really make people childish. Taste-wise, it was somewhat bitter. Since it was flattened it, I could detect any texture.

Gross factor: 6
Yum factor: 1
Texture factor: 2

My one true favourite. Even till this day.

Stapler Bullets

After deciding that the taste of pencil lead was not my “cup of tea” I decided to sample stapler bullets. Stapler bullets do not really have any taste, however, the texture is something I enjoy. I can’t say why but chewing on a stapler bullet feels really good. Till now, I would still chew on a stapler bullet if the occasion arises.

Gross factor: 2
Yum factor: 1
Texture factor: 10

Erasers

You know those “dustless” erasers? They look similar and feel like Blu Tack. One day, I decided to lick one of those dustless erasers. It tastes surprisingly salty. Additionally, that piece I sample was infused with some broken pencil lead so it lent it a distinct pencil lead taste.

On the topic of erasers, normal rubber erasers were not spared from my gastronomical explorations. I liked to cut rubber erasers up into tiny little cubes and pop them into my mouth for a good chew. The springiness is unparalleled. What about the taste? It tasted chalky from the powdered surface and had a really nice fragrance to it. And no, it’s nothing like chewing gum. Rubber erasers are way firmer.

Gross factor: 7
Yum factor: 2
Texture factor: 6

Disclaimer: Please do not eat any of these. I am surprised that nothing serious has happened to me. If you decide to try these alternative delicacies, please consider the risks thoroughly. Side effects may include being labelled a weird forevermore, but hey, it’s totally okay to #BeYou. 🙂