Eddie Kay Thomas Quick Links

Hey, you know what's funny? False accusations of child molestation. That's just the most hilarious way to get back at your father for being mean to you because you're a hopeless screw-up. At least, that's what Tom Green seems to think.

Green is that MTV personality who takes a video camera out into the world to record himself accosting embarrassed strangers and performing gross-out stunts for the amusement of easily entertained viewers. He wrote, directed and stars in "Freddy Got Fingered," a lose collection of sub-par Green gags orbiting around a 28-year-old unemployed nitwit whose dad (Rip Torn) hates him because, well, he's a worthless human being who goes out of his way to make Dad ashamed of him.

"Stolen Summer" is the film resulting from Ben Affleck and Matt Damon's heavily publicized "Project Greenlight" screenwriting contest. Sponsored by Miramax, documented through every step of production for an HBO "reality" series, and now being unceremoniously dumped into theaters opposite "Spider-Man," it may become the first movie ever to be less successful than its own "making of" special.

I mention this only because apparently Miramax doesn't believe the movie can stand on its own. Before the feature starts, there's a two-minute introduction about "Project Greenlight" that comes off like a TV commercial, a disclaimer and an apology. "This movie is mediocre, but give this kid a break," the studio seems to be saying. "Just look at all the pressure he was under as a first-time filmmaker. What do you expect?"

Maybe they're right. OK, they are right. But that's no reason to broadcast their lack of faith to you after you've already bought a ticket.