Johnson: Generosity goes to the dance

April 28, 2013

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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Criss Sykes holds a gown she is going to donate to kids who are wards of the state and do not have dresses for this year's prom. This the a bridesmaid's gown she wore to her sister's wedding. MICHAEL GOULDING, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

Criss Sykes holds a gown she is going to donate to kids who are wards of the state and do not have dresses for this year's prom. This the a bridesmaid's gown she wore to her sister's wedding. MICHAEL GOULDING, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

The request came as something of a shock to Criss Sykes.

Sure, she knew Pauline Hirose – well, sort of. She did know she was an attorney, a child advocate in the Riverside County courts. Their boys, too, were teammates last fall on the Brea High School water polo team, and the two women had chatted some the way mothers do.

This time, though, Hirose seemed a little desperate.

"I know you have a heart for foster kids," she began that day in February.

She has these clients, she continued, teenage girls in foster care who have been coming to her with the same problem: Their high school prom was coming up, and they had no way of getting prom dresses.

The state used to provide $200 a year for such things, but that money long ago dried up, Hirose explained. The $600 per month foster parents get from the state, well, that never trickles down. That's why she was coming to Sykes.

"I know you have a lot of connections," Hirose told her. "Maybe you could use them to help me round up prom dresses."

Sykes, 50, was taken aback. She is a part-time substitute school teacher, after all. Connections?

"I guess I was kind of touched that she saw me that way," Sykes said.

How many dresses did she need? About 300, Hirose told her. Sykes blanched.

"And then I started to think, I've got two boys who were raised with such love, but then there are these girls, with no family, with no love, who soon will be put out of the system with no family," Sykes said.

She and her husband, Bobby, work with foster children through their church, and every year work as counselors to 40 of them at the Royal Family Kids Camp, where Bobby is co-director.

So she knew from foster kids. She knows of their struggle. So she was in.

"Foster children, they could be any of us," she said. "I took the challenge. I was determined to get them a prom dress, to give them at least that one happy memory."

She began calling people. Friends were first. She went to the hair salon. There had to be people there with dresses. She put a post on Facebook.

"I need your help," it read. She explained what she was up to very thoroughly, said she would come to pick up the dresses, and asked her friends to share her request with other friends.

Her deadline was tight, March 1. Hirose needed to know how many dresses would be available, and enough time to get them cleaned and altered. It was the second week of February when Sykes began her quest.

She sought out everyone. She went to a beauty school to troll for dresses, and came away with a promise by the school to provide free hair and makeup services for the prom-goers.

There was a photographer she knew. Soon she had a promise of free portraits. If the girls wanted, they could trade the prom sitting for photos of graduation.

Within two days, people began dropping off dresses.

"The hearts of all these people ...," Sykes marveled. "Everyone who said they would contribute did."

They dropped off not only dresses, but purses and clutches, shoes and jewelry.

"I started asking for more," Sykes said. "People were giving so much. I said if you have an everyday dress, I'll take it, too."

Everyday dresses began flooding in.

Soon, the mail began arriving, box after box, all of them filled with dresses from places like Minnesota, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, San Francisco and all over California.

"It was like Christmas; it was so much fun," Sykes recalled.

After the first week, Sykes had more than 70 dresses hanging in her garage. More came everyday, and she kept asking.

A contestant of the Miss California Pageant sent four dresses. Sykes' son, Kevin, 17, a junior at Brea Olinda High, and members of his school service club, Link Crew, passed out fliers. More than 50 dresses came in that way.

"People just opened up with compassion and kindness," Sykes said. "Maybe they remembered being a young girl, too."

By the time March 1 arrived, Sykes had amassed nearly 300 dresses.

They arrived in sizes 2 to 14. Some were bridesmaid dresses, others were short and long prom dresses and a few of what Sykes called "I'm-not-so-sure-I'd-let-my-daughter-wear-that" dresses. Many arrived with tags still on them, never having been worn.

A judge in one of the Riverside County courts agreed to have each one dry cleaned. The same judge will open up a sort of boutique off a courthouse hallway where the girls can select a dress and try it on. The hairstylists will be there, too, along with the photographer.

People are still sending Sykes dresses. On Friday, alone, 11 more arrived at her door. Someone dropped off a full box of jewelry they had purchased for the girls to wear.

All of Hirose's teenaged clients have agreed to return their dresses after the big day so that other girls like them will have a dress to wear next year.

"I just couldn't wrap my head around the thought that there were so many girls who could possibly miss out on this rite of their childhood, never have that memory in their lives," Sykes says as a way to explain her effort.

"But none of this, really, is about just me. Is it about all of those people who donated, who went out of their way in many cases to do so.

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