Don’t get me wrong. I’m a sucker for a marching band. Clowns are freakishly hilarious. People on stilts, street acrobats, clown cars...they’re the best.

But parades are hotbeds for exactly the kind of garish waste and unnecessary pollution I spend my days campaigning against. They’re anything but green, and if we want to continue celebrating with community, we need to rethink how we put on parades so we can still enjoy them for another generation.

Unfortunately, we collectively shrug a big “oh, well” at traditional parade practices. But we have to stop accepting them simply because that’s the way things have always been. Instead, let’s say goodbye to what’s bad for the planet and create some new traditions.

Otherwise, we’re just as guilty as the next guy of proliferating over-consumption and anti-sustainable practices that fly in the face of everything we stand for.

Here are the Top 5 toxic parade traditions we need to kick to the curb, if we want to be green:

#1: Litter

Candy wrappers, drink containers, ribbons of hardened Silly String strewn everywhere, stray feathers from so many boas, broken strands of beads, animal and human excrement…​Why is it that, when we go to parades, we think it’s okay to drop our garbage wherever we please?

​And yet, those shamrock stickers we were all wearing on our cheeks at 9 a.m., which fell off somewhere between Oliver and 4th Ave., will still be stuck to the bricks that line Grant Street six months from now. And the heaps of waste that were gathered all have to be deposited somewhere.

Photo by The Reductionist, Janeen Ellsworth

Even the candy our kids collect at parades ends up going right into the trash. Because who actually wants that many Tootsie Rolls? Sure, we enjoy a few pieces while we watch the parade, maybe another couple more afterward, but the rest of it gets dumped.

How much fuel and human labor gets wasted manufacturing that candy, which goes straight from the factory into my trash can? Take a tour of the Tootsie Roll factory for yourself and find out. Maybe ask them to dial production down a notch while you’re there. ​Instead of tossing out candy, why not blow bubbles, sprinkle flower petals, or hand out stuff people can actually use? Invest in less quantity but higher quality items, like stainless steel travel mugs for all that green beer folks consume on St. Pat’s to cut down on plastic cups?

At Pittsburgh’s P.R.I.D.E. parade last year, companies like Lyft were doling out awesome canvas shopping bags. If more parade float organizers thought in these eco-friendly terms, our street festivities would be much cleaner.

​But if you and your family are unlucky enough to get stuck standing in the spot where a truck has to sit idly for three minutes because there’s a holdup with the clown car ahead, you’re breathing in diesel exhaust, which is foul to smell and horrendous for your health.

It’s even more harmful to kids, like that troupe of Irish step dancers performing a reel behind that idling truck.

Moreover, according to this Department of Energy report, “…rest-period idling results in the emission of about 11 million tons of carbon dioxide, 55,000 tons of nitrogen oxides, and 400 tons of particulate matter annually in the U.S.”​Why not send trucks along the parade route first, and mandate that they’re not allowed to stop along the way. Or, could we do without the trucks altogether? Maybe the firemen could just, like, march on foot? Foot-powered, bicycle-powered, or horse-drawn vehicles only could pull the floats along instead, saving all of us from noxious fumes.

Image by Lisa Larsen from Pixabay

#3: Bead Necklaces​What started as an essential Mardis Gras tradition—parade floats tossing out bead necklaces—has spread across the world, bedazzling all kinds of celebrations (thankfully we don’t need to bare our chests anymore to earn them).

These days, any Thanksgiving, Halloween, Easter or Christmas parade doesn’t seem complete without a half dozen strands of shiny beads dangling around everyone’s neck.​But, according to this in-depth Smithsonian.com feature by author, filmmaker and Harvard fellow David Redmon, the beads we scramble to catch by the fistful are:

loaded with dangerous polystyrene and polyethelene mined from Middle East oil fields to be turned into plastic;

shipped to China where they’re strung, one bead at a time, by 15-year-olds in factories who are fined if they don’t work fast enough; and

coated in dangerous chemicals so they shimmer and shine for us on parade day.

“Independent research on beads collected from New Orleans parades has found toxic levels of lead, bromine, arsenic, phthalate plasticizers, halogens, cadmium, chromium, mercury and chlorine on and inside the beads,” explains Redmon. “It’s estimated that up to 920,000 pounds of mixed chlorinated and brominated flame retardants were in the beads.”

Body paint can turn your average doughy American into a fantastically slithering merman! This magical skin art isn’t just for Seattle’s Fremont Solstice Fair anymore. Body and face paint have become an essential part of all kinds of parade costuming. And yet…

"​Six of the products were contaminated with nickel, cobalt and/or chromium which can cause lifelong skin problems," the report continues. "Many of the products contained two, three or even all four of these metals.”​Visit RaisingKidsNaturally.com for a list of nontoxic face paint brands you can buy to make sure you’re not exposing yourself or your kids to these dangerous, illness-causing metals.

#5: Silly String

Squirting a geyser of Silly String into the air never gets old. Unfortunately, it’s bad for us and for the environment.

So, 1,1,1,2-Tetrafluoroethane is the gas that ejects the string from its can. America switched to this spray cocktail in the 1990s, replacing the really harmful ozone chlorofluorocarbon fumes from aerosol cans and refrigerants we used to use, which are now officially banned.

1,1,1,2-T is a half-decent improvement, although scientists with DuPont and Honeywell have created an even better-for-earth alternative they’re now putting into new cars’ AC units. For now, 1,1,1,2-T is still the go-to spray can product.

However, as Tracy V. Wilson over at HowStuffworks.com explains, Silly String that’s shipped to the U.S. from China and Taiwan, places that may or may not share the U.S.’s rules, may or may not be following the U.S.’s ban on those CFCs of yesteryear. Which means kids on parade floats could be launching toxic, ozone-blasting CFCs into the air instead of the somewhat-less-awul 1,1,1,2-T.

Polymerized plastic resins encompass a whole lotta chemicals, including bisphenol-A (BPA), widely accepted as a toxic ingredient that’s now being phased out of use, and ethyl acrylate, which, according to this article from DoItYourself.com, says, “The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) has classified ethyl acrylate as a carcinogen, an agent that may cause cancer to human organisms.”

This resin gives Silly String the ability to harden when it hits the air, so it also causes pollution by gumming up sewers and sticking to streets, which makes it super annoying for Public Works crews who have to clean the stuff up.

Talc is another known cancer causer. Says Cancer.org, “..some talc contains asbestos, a substance known to cause cancers in and around the lungs when inhaled.” Companies (like Johnson & Johnson) are being blamed in at least one lawsuit for knowing of its carcinogenic effects, not telling their customers about it, and still selling the stuff anyway.

Ammonia, while produced naturally by both humans and the environment, is also manufactured synthetically for cleaning products and, apparently, Silly String. SaysHomeQuicks.com,“Once inhaled, ammonia immediately interacts with moisture in the mucus to form caustic ammonium hydroxide. As a result, inhalation of ammonia vapors may cause irritation of the eyes, nose, skin, throat, and respiratory tract.” It can worsen asthma symptoms, and it’s really bad for soil, fresh water and fish populations.

Thanks to the awesome folks we met at Harrison Hills County Park this past weekend, we've been inspired to try maple syrup making on our own!

Scroll down for the 10 fairly-simple steps we followed to make small-batch maple syrup (and how we're continuing to do so). Keep in mind this is a loooooong, energy-intensive process but so-so-so fun and great for the whole family! And March is the perfect time of year to do this, with the sunny days and frigid nights, the sugar maples are drawing liquid up from the ground through their vascular systems all the way to the tips of their buds, and then draining the sap back to the ground in the evenings. That's when the sap comes gushing, and that's when you can capture the glorious bounty of nature!

​Here's a quick video to say thanks to our new pals, the Friends of Harrison Hills, who got us started on this wonderful late-winter journey! Thanks, Susan, Dennis, Eric and Sandra!

1. Get 'spiles,' a.k.a. taps, & something to collect sap, like a clean, 1-gallon milk jug, bucket, or heavy-duty plastic bag. Check out the links above for all the supplies you could ever dream of for syrup making. We were blessed with the good fortune of making pals with Eric and Sandra, who also attended the tapping demo at Harrison Hills. They happened to bring some of their own equipment and kindly gave us these spiles and tubes. Holy generosity!

2. Choose a good tree and measure where you'll drill a hole. A healthy sugar maple tree produces the sweetest sap, but all kinds of trees produce the stuff. Pick one that's about 16 inches in diameter, and make a test hole with a drill. The shavings should come out a nice blond color. If it's dull brown inside, it won't produce. Within a few moments of drilling, you should see the sap begin to drip. Do a happy dance!

3. Using a mallet or wood block, gently tap the spile into the hole you've drilled. Apologize to the tree for giving it a pinchy-winchy. Don't worry. It's not hurt.

4. Affix tubing and bucket, or bag contraption (again, see links above for supplies) so that there's no leak. Make sure it's fairly well sealed. Expect the potential for bugs, dirt, and other forest funk to mingle with your sap. Don't freak out. You'll boil it clean and run it through a sieve later.

5. Wait. Patiently. Overnight.

6. Return the next day, or the day after. Measure the amount of sap the glorious tree has given you. Pump fist.

7. Boil in stainless steel. OUTSIDE. Doing so in your kitchen, at least initially, could create a sticky film all over your walls and ceiling. Try a camp stove outside for small batches, a burner on a grill, an open fire pit, or a turkey fryer. Begin with just some of the liquid sap, allow it to boil off and reduce, then add a little more at a time. Have patience. This goes on for hours.

8. Allow liquid to turn a gorgeous amber/golden hue. But don't let it get all frothy like I did here. That could mean you've let the temp rise too high--it shouldn't go above 216 degrees Fahrenheit, or you could wind up with caramel. (Not that there's anything wrong with that. But you're not doing this to get caramel, AmIRight?!)*Frantically start texting your neighbors to ask who has a candy thermometer. When you find one, check temp.

9. Strain it through cheese cloth or other sieve. This clears out forest funk as well as sugar crystals that will have formed while it boiled.

10. Congratulations! Your 100% natural maple syrup is complete! Store it in a mason jar. Refrigerate or eat it! Just be sure to savor every last drop. This was an incredibly energy-intensive process!

Pictured above-right is my very first ever batch of DIY syrup, a mere 2 ounces of the stuff harvested from 1 whole gallon of sap. It's a little cloudy, but has a delicious buttery flavor that goes great on the kids' morning waffles. I love that it's pure and local, straight from a nearby park, and totally organic.

In between writing sessions I'm back at the boiling process again today, with another 3+ gallons we pulled from a second tree, so hopefully I'll be getting more syrup and it will be clear amber like nature--and our friends at Harrison Hills--intended!

Thanks, Mother Earth, glorious trees, and everyone who helped us in this process!

Author

I'm Janeen; writer, mother, wife, and full-time, radical Reductionist. I share stupid-easy tips on how to save money while reducing your impact on the environment, & I'm committed to helping others live a life of simple sustainability.

Toss a Quarter in my Tip Jar?

Bringing you engaging content & resource-rich info makes my heart sing, truly! I manage this website on my own time & with my own money, so if you like what you see here and would like to support my work, I'd be honored to accept any generous donation you deem worthy. I look forward to bringing you more valuable green tips in the months & years to come, if you would consider leaving me a tip of your own! Thank you for being here and being you!

Reductionist Mantra

Use less.Reuse more.​Live simply.

Disclosure

The information provided within these pages is a result of my own personal research and life experience. The opinions reflected are solely mine. From time to time, this website uses affiliate links to certain products.