Men Don’t Talk About Their Feelings

Do you find that men don’t talk about their feelings?

Talk to Me More About Your Feelings

Kathy had met up with her girlfriend Megan for coffee and both were talking about their husbands. Kathy told Megan, “It’s almost as though Mike doesn’t quite ‘get’ feelings. I’ve seen him in social situations where he doesn’t seem to get the vibe of the group.”

She went on, “He also seems oblivious to how I feel at those times. He always talks about himself and he goes on and on and people always have to listen to him talking about his work, his things, his interests.

It’s the same at home. It’s ALWAYS about HIM and what he’s doing.

But if I want to talk about what I’m interested in, Mike doesn’t pay attention. He always tunes out. And if I try to tell him how he comes across in the group situation, he just doesn’t get it. When I tell him how it impacts on me, he doesn’t understand my feelings. Sometimes I feel so alone in this marriage.”

Megan told Kathy, “I’m glad you’re telling me this because I feel pretty much the same way with Pete. When I try and talk to him about us or our relationship, or about the things I’m worried about, he’ll complain to me about talking in front of the children.”

“So then I try and choose another time to talk to him when the children aren’t around and then he criticizes me for spoiling a nice time by wanting to talk about problems. There never seems to be a right time to talk about things that are important to me.”

“I feel such a low priority because he never wants to spend any time talking about our relationship, my feelings, or how he feels about things.”

Megan and Kathy both said they felt understood by the other, as they had been able to talk about their feelings. They agreed to meet for coffee on a regular basis to talk more because they realized how much better they felt when they had a chance to express their feelings.