Making The First Move : That Time I asked A Guy Out on A Date

21October 28, 2017By Dang

Making The First Move: That Time I asked A Guy Out on A Date

I have never been one to play games, especially now that I’ve come into my own but, I’ve always believed men are hunters and would rather do the chasing. So, when I like a guy, I don’t pretend not to but making the first move has never been my MO

However, I did it that one time and I’m not sure I’ll do it again.

He came home from “the abroad” on holiday. He’s family friends with my friend so when he asked to hang out with her, she asked me to join them. We got to the club/restaurant first and were already drinking and dancing when he arrived with his crew. They went the opposite direction so I didn’t see their faces but from behind, I crossed my fingers, wishing the tall big guy wearing a white shirt with graphic at the back was part of the crew. I had not seen his face but I already felt a pull.

Then he turned around and smiled at one of us and the attraction I felt towards him was like magic. I turned around so he wouldn’t see my face so by the time we were introduced, I had composed myself and feigned disinterest in whatever he was saying to the others.

When we were seated, he asked the guy sitting beside me to get up so he could sit. There was a little bit of friendly banter but his friend eventually vacated the seat for him. In my mind, I was like “score!”. He didn’t waste time in striking a conversation with me but it was quite noisy so he typed on his phone, “Can we go outside and talk?”. I nodded and followed his lead

Throughout the night, we were stuck together. Not one person amongst the group could deny something was going on but when we were leaving, he simply walked me to my car, gave me a hug and said “goodnight”.

“goodnight?” Not a plan to see me another time or soon? I’m not really understanding. What was all that gum body about when you’d just send me home with a hug?

For two days, he called but never made any arrangements, we just talked on the phone. We even attended a party together but despite him being around me a lot, he didn’t attempt to ask me out. I decided making the first move for a date won’t kill me. So, I took the bull by the horn before this guy travels back home.

I texted him

“Pick a day between tomorrow and the next, we’re going on a date” Message delivered

10m later – Not read

My confidence was dropping.

“Don’t feel the need to say yes. It’s okay really” I sent a follow-up. Message delivered.

20m later – Not read.

“I have made a mistake, how can I abort mission?” I thought to myself. Making the first move didn’t feel so liberating anymore.

I decided I was going to take the ‘L’ with my chest. Guys take the L all the time and they’re still alive and breathing. But, my chest said “No, this is not my L to take”. Because my chest felt heavy, my heart was beating fast and I couldn’t bring myself to sleep. I checked my phone every 5 seconds and at one time, I switched it off because I was going crazy.

When I finally accepted that I had been rejected, my phone beeped. almost 1 hour later.

“Lol. Yes boss lady. I would like to go on a date with you”

“That took you long enough” I replied

He explained that he was at a party and didn’t hear the message notification.

The date went well. Very well in fact. But the relationship was a disaster. I don’t regret it but I’m not sure I’d do it again.

The second yup was my crush from primary school. He turned out to be a jerk. I was extreme though… I offered to pay for our date and he didn’t offer to even chip in, urgh! He still tries to reach out to me ??

I tried it a couple of weeks ago and I’m still heart broken. So there’s this guy we have liked ourselves for sometime now but the timing hasn’t been perfect for us, then last year I moved back to Nigeria but the calling and chats continued. Well he came into Nigeria last month and I spent the night in his hotel room, it was amazing, we talked, played and kissed for the first time in like 3 years. Then he left for Lagos and I didn’t hear a word from. I chatted him up a couple of days later and told him I liked him a lot and he said ‘we should just be friends’. I was so upset and withdrew from talking to him. I’m still heartbroken although to be fair I used the same lines on him two years ago. I won’t stop asking a guy I like out though, to be honest for your happiness you have to take some drastic steps.

I am doing same and I must say I’m frustrated. Hes quite responsive when he wants to be but sometimes he takes a while to respond. Its either he’s opetating on a Pentium 1 server or just enjoying it all. How obvious can a girl get? Flirting comes natural to me when I get the green light but this one… I can’t do more than this abeg.

For the first time I did make the move though in a funny way. The guy had put up a meme about wanting to have a relationship and I commented “slide into my Dm ” . He did slide in and we got talking, it’s been a good conversation the entire time however it would’ve been better if we are both in thesame country. We are far apart so it kind of strains the effort we both are making. There’s no doubt that it would’ve gone well if we are in thesame country. We still talk but not regularly though. And I must add that the dude is super cool.

the one n only time I did, I just had to. We were not even friends or talking, but our eyes kept jamming and we had some friends in common. The relationship didn’t work cos it was sort of puppy love but we are still friends till now.