Separated from the Spousal Unit - AKA XSU - with two daughters, it seems to make sense to move on from ennuie to some new phase. Restructuring seems to be the way to go to with life. Starting anew. Here's how I am doing it.

Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween.I'm still fighting off this cold and have been hanging around home except for last night, when Rebel and I attended a Gala dinner for one of the boards I am on. A gymnastics centre where Rebel coaches. Ran around like a fool looking for a new black dress. Got one. Wore it. Don't like it much. *Really* thinking about taking it back. I've never done that before. I'll probably just ship it off to the consignment store.

I don't have a lot to say these days. Life is pretty normal - what ever that is. I keep thinking about winding down the blog and just moving it along. But then every now and again I get the urge to post and so I do.

Being in the separated status, not divorced as yet, I don't really feel too different than when the XSU was in the house because I pretty much lived my own life anyway. Oy that was some sentence. So I am occupied and do my own thing, I just notice on occasion that the support isn't there. For something to do with the girls. Or needing to get something done around the house. But it's not really a big deal. I just either deal with it, ask someone for help, or park it. Seems to work for now.

I am going to Montreal this week. Looking forward to this. It's union business. I'm a shop steward and with my new role at work, I am more involved in a bunch of things we're dealing with at work. This should prove to be different. LOVE LOVE LOVE Montreal.

Must go carve a pumpkin - something I've never done before. That was always a dad job. Apparently dad isn't carving a pumpkin. He's playing the role of the grumpy old guy who turns his lights out. Sad. But then again, he was never one for getting to know the neighbours or making small talk to be friendly.

That must be yet another reason Rebel Junior is spending more time with me than with him. But who's counting!

October 28, 2010

It's been about a week. Every blog I've read this week has been apologetic for not blogging! Funny. I have a cold and am pretty miserable. And of course it hit me the week I have a bunch of things going on. Tonight I was supposed to have dinner at a friend's. Tomorrow, is costume day at work, a unit lunch, and dinner with my Tiara Club. Saturday is the big $75 plate dinner which also as a dress and shoes invested in it. sigh.... So I stayed home from work today, and will probably do the same tomorrow. I have no voice. None. I am whispering mostly. And if you know me, my ability to talk at will and a lot is what I do best. I am quite frustrated with my inability to vocalize.

Rebel called to tell me the car she has been driving, XSUs vehicle, has died on the road. She is now trying to figure out how to get access to MY vehicle of course. sigh..... NOT sure what I will do about this. She lives pretty far and buses are going to be very difficult for her. It is going to be interesting to see how she manages this. The BF apparently was laid off from his latest greatest jot. No surprise to me, and he should have seen it coming.

Rebel Junior is way too involved with school activities but seems to be doing all right. XSU keeps sending messages via either of the girls. I have sent him yet another email telling him that if he has something to say to me, to call or email and not use his daughters as messengers, as it is totally inappropriate behaviour. Of course I will be surprised if he replies. It is a rare event when he does.

I am going to go eat more Pho. When I do not have chicken soup on hand I go for Pho at the local place around the corner. I think the chicken might have been off though - it did not taste quite right. So it was omitted from the bowl. The noodles and broth hit the spot though as long as the broth is okay.

Whatta day. I am going back to bed now. After a cup of ginger lemon tea. I have had enough for today.

October 20, 2010

October 14, 2010

1. Had a pretty good Thanksgiving. Both girls were over - Rebel brought the loser boyfriend and I managed to be civil. We had a good time.

2. Leftovers - nothing like a hot turkey sandwich made with leftover stuffing instead of bread with cranberry sauce and gravy. Sent Rebel home with a care package too.

3 I bought a treadmill. See no.2. The trousers and skirts are all too tight and I don't want to go out and buy a whole new whack of clothes in a bigger size. sigh.... so I figure the only way I will get in my ten thousand steps a day is by walking inside as well as outside. Got one from Sears for half price so I am pleased. Offically dropping the gym membership this week. I may as well not kid myself any longer.

4 Rebel Junior is now asking to go on The Pill. Her acne is pretty had and that is reason enough, but oy! Believe me we've had "the talk" many times over and yet, my baby is no baby.

5. Had a great chat with neighbour Don around the corner who kept me talking for 20 minutes while I was supposed to be walking the dog, who informed me that he and girlofriend were broken up, and what a disaster that was and how she didn't know how to train her puppy. What is it with these guys?

6. New job keeping me entertained at work. The union side - unrelenting. Yet, I am enjoying it. My blog at work is no.2 on the pop charts so that is good. It's being read and perhaps getting both employees and management thinking - for a change.

7 Rebel Junior finally got her self a job. It's a little far away and the bus service is poor so she does need to be picked up. She at a shoe store called The Shoe Company and there is a store not more than 5 minutes from us, so she's hoping she'll be able to transfer over perhaps after Christmas. I was pleased.

8 Got an investment statement yesterday. Looks like I might be able to afford Rebel Junior's first year of university next year. Maybe.

9 XSU ran out of gas on his way home from some course he was on. He had to call Rebel who was 40 minutes away. I had to laugh because he ALWAYS goes on about how he is careful. Rebel was not impressed. Point being too.... doesn't appear he had any friend who could help him.

10 Thinking about not teaching this winter quarter. I think I just want a break this year. I might have been keeping myself overly busy last year just to be busy. It certainly isn't worth the money, and while I enjoy being in the classroom it's the work outside of the classroom that's the killer. Especially at the college level.

11 Municipal elections These people make me crazy. But I ALWAYS vote so I an complain afterwards.

October 10, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving to my vast Canadian readership. ( all three of you!) It's a good time of year. The leaves are spectacularly brilliant shining in a beautifully blue sky, the girls are healthy, and I can afford to buy a turkey, stuff it, put on my ealstic waisted LULUs and eat til I fall asleep. Thanksgiving is a great holiday because EVERYONE regardless of personal beliefs can celebrate it how they wish. One of my team members is East Indian and has her family over for tandoori turkey. Not something my family would like, but it works. Gotta love this country! So while I occaisonally whinge at life and what it throws me, I am ultimately thankful for everything that comes my way. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, tofu'd tandoori'd or traditional!

October 06, 2010

October 03, 2010

What an eye opener I just had in front of me. XSU brought back Rebel Junior and the dog. He came into the house to ask me something about Rebel's drugs and we got that straight away pretty quickly. It was then I noticed the difference in XSU. He's gotten fat! Big fat round face, big stomach. It appears that he has let himself go! The Fantasy Girlfriend is married and gone from his stalking sights, and so, no need to look young any longer, and oh.my.goodness. Gut city. My thunder thighs giggle and jiggle in mirth. If this isn't incentive to get me to act and shape up then I am pathetic. I feel pretty good now. Must get active. In other news, the XSU offered to take my dog for a second weekend in a row. I had planned to take the little guy with me on my scrapbooking weekend, but he offered and I thought, "yes, I will take advantage of this offer." I mean, why wouldn't I? Seems the dog spends more time with him than his daughter does. I learned that both weekends I was away RJ spent her evenings sleeping over at friends rather than at her father's place because he's too far from her friends. Good thing I don't pay support. So it was Buttons the dog and XSU spending quality time. RJ tells me he plays with the dog and enjoys having him around. Can't picture it myself, but it's cheaper than the dog sitter and I supply the dog chow. So it's a pretty easy gig. I was quite pleased I remembered to thank him for taking the dog when he showed up here this evening. I have to work a full week this week. I haven't done that in some time I don't think. Luckily it's the Thanksgiving Weekend coming up after this, so this full week thing will be short lived. Not sure what the plan will be for Turkey dinner this year. Don't know what the girls will want to do, but if I have to chose between having XSU in the house, or having Rebel's BF..... wait, I'm thinking. Yep... still thinking. PUL-EEEEESE don't make me choose. I guess it would come down to the BF if I want to have dinner with my daughter where as I *really* don't need to have the XSU around hovering in my kitchen, or worse, eating in my dining room. For a civilized human, he does have some astounding table manners, and both girls regularly tell me how they don't like eating meals with him. Seems this decision has been made. Rebel is in a heavy programme at school so I'm not even sure she'll be up for turkey. See, these girls like the idea of turkey, but they're not really fans, but if I suggest something else, they don't like that idea either. So, it could be Chinese food instead - how's this General Tao's chicken - with cranberry sauce.

October 01, 2010

It's Friday at last! Just read an interesting article in today's newspaper that talked about a study in heart break. yep. heart break. I'll see if I can do the study justice.

It was described as a study that looked at heart rate and the connection between people who you think like you and learning what happens when they don't like you. People were connected to heart monitors. When those being studied learned that a person didn't like them, and they thought that they were liked, well, their hearts slowed down for several seconds.So what this means is this - If you think that you are loved and you learn that instead, you are not loved at all, then your heart rate changes and it can be dramatic and have a health effect.

My experience has been with my stomach not my heart. When XSU first hit me long ago with the "I'm not feeling it" thing it felt more like a blow to the gut - like the wind was knocked out me rather than my heart pounding. Maybe it was both, but it was the hit to the stomach that I felt. And that feeling lasted for weeks - probably months. I didn't eat much at all. In fact I remember Lily coming over and force feeding me a can of Campbell's chicken noodle soup.

Once I started eating a little I have to admit my clothes looked great on me. I wasn't looking like a chemo victim any longer - I see pictures of myself and wonder if that was looking good, or if I was too thin.

Now, I look longingly at two pairs of jeans, two suits, a dress and a couple of other things that don't fit, because CLEARLY that angst has disappeared. I have thunder thighs! My eating habits are pretty good. We don't eat white anything, no food from boxes, lots of vegetables and fruits, all that blah blah nutrition stuff, but

Imust admit - I hate most forms of exercise.

I have no use for running, biking, skating, swimming, playing any sport that involves any kind of equipment from a ball to a stick including netted sticks. Have I missed anything? oh yeah - the gym. really hate the spandex clad skinny 20 something girls, the muscle bound wanna bes trying to catch the skinny girls, the spinning mad people, and the crazy dance people.

That along with the fact that I am going through that midlife women's change thing, means I must get up off my ass before I go up another trouser size. It's troubling. So perhaps I need to fall in love again, so I can break up again, and not eat for awhile. Or I can do the sensible thing and start finding some sort of activity that will take the jiggle out of the thighs and I can feel comfortable in my size 8s again.

Restructuring by...

About Me

I was stuck in SpousalEnnuie for what seems to be a monumental amount of time. The story started there. Now, that the wrenting of the 25 year relationship is a fait accompli, it is time to move on and deal with a new life - a restructuring. This is the story continued.

Who are the characters?

Marie - that's me. The formerly married, now happily separated, soon to be divorced blogger.XSU- that would be the former spousal unit. AKA SU from my other pre separated blog.FrenchyThe delightful exchange student from France who lived with us for three months. I am sure that RJ corrupted her something fierce.Rebel - the oldest offspring. She was quite sick, had a heart transplant. That too is detailed in the former blogRJ AKA Rebel Junior Offspring, the younger. Somewhat like her older sister, but not really.VNN the new player on the blog. The Very Nice Neighbour. Did I mention he's a widower and we've started dating?