Michael Beasley has a new hobby: ballet. At least Mike is being active and staying healthy for when the season starts in 2045 after the two sides lose billions while arguing over $80 million. Makes sense. Bravo, idiots.

But first, some brief lockout thoughts that are doomed to end in longer-than-expected, incoherent rambling: It is obvious this entire thing is psychologically-based, and not reason-based. If reports of owner-issued ultimatums are true, that is the only reason we are here. The players WILL net out at 50:50, whether it is now or in January. It is all in the approach. Sort of like approaching a high-maintenance, drama-queen woman and evaluating the # of cartons of eggs shells one must walk over when approaching. It has to be delicate, yet firm and confident. You can’t walk up to an uber-babe wearing overalls, taped glasses and sporting buck teeth, drop to one knee and demand she marry you “or else.” The owner’s approach was doomed to fail, and probably meant to fail. On that note: epic fail.

The funny thing is, if the owners approached it with a reasonable “here is a quality system that may need to be tweaked but could work for both sides’ needs, based on a 50:50 split” the lockout would be over. It’s all in the courtship. We are talking about some of the greatest egos in the country since Columbus sailed the ocean blue. If a lay-man doesn’t respond to an ultimatum, neither will these guys. I mean, can anyone honestly tell me George Cohen, a freaking president-appointed federal mediator, condoned this idea of ultimatum from the owners? No wonder he bolted away, looking more like Seth Cohen from The O.C., with his tail between his legs. Worst negotiating tactic one can use, especially if it is incomplete, vague, unrealistic and issued in a condescending way.

One observation that is important when sifting through the rhetoric (hate that word. Can we ban it, or at least limit it to a single use per article, along with ‘stident?): each time the sides have convened, the player’s offer from the owners has improved. 2 weeks ago we were, allegedly, at a 47/53 split (50/50 being informal), and a $3 million MLE. Now we are at a 50% formal BRI proposal and a $5 million MLE, among other system improvements. Reading through the lines, the players holding out IS having its benefit in these negotiations. The question is, at what point does the ‘investment’ of holding out become negative when factoring in opportunity cost of quality of contracts, system changes, etc. Can’t be more than another month of lost games before it loses its long term value. They will have to be crafty on when to cave, but the reality is, they are getting more back each time they meet. This is important to realize as the doomsday stuff get tossed onto the interwebs. Be rational, ignore the emotion and remember that above all.

Anyhow, on to some Friday amusements courtesy of SLAM. And on a serious note, good work Beasley. Looking forward to seeing you back on the court hopefully in short order. We are glad to have you, and if you are reading this, sorry about the picture but I hope you find it as funny as the fans find this lockout.

Move over, Yoga. Michael Beasley is here to introduce the League’s newest fitness trend: Ballet. Yup. Here’s the Star Tribune with the report: “Timberwolves forward Michael Beasley has kept busy during an extended, locked-out NBA summer when he played ball everywhere from China to Manhattan’s famed asphalt playgrounds. He has also taken up ballet to transform his body and hired a public- relations agency to improve his image. ‘I want everyone to know that I’m not this monster that they perceive,’ he said. ‘I’m a really nice guy.’ To that end, Beasley has organized what he calls an ‘All-Star Classic’ exhibition game that will be played Friday night at Osseo High School with several of his teammates and other NBA players but won’t include the star power of Kevin Love, Kevin Durant, John Wall and No. 2 overall pick Derrick Williams, all of whom originally committed to play … ‘I feel like with the lockout, the main people being hurt are the fans,’ Beasley said. ‘They’re the ones suffering the most. I just felt it was right to put on a game for my hometown fans.’ … Beasley proclaimed himself completely healthy after playing much of last season despite a recurring sprained ankle and an injured hip. He has played with childhood pal Durant and Wall in exhibition games across the country and also has incorporated elements of yoga, karate and, yes, ballet into summer workouts intended to make his body stronger, more limber and help ensure a long, productive career. He has dropped about 15 pounds after playing last season at 240 pounds. ‘I don’t really dance,’ he said. ‘I do it for the stretching.’ Does he own a tutu? ‘No, no, no, no,’ he replied. ‘I wear shorts and a shirt.’ Is this just a ploy to get on ‘Dancing With the Stars?’ ‘I don’t really consider myself a star,’ he said, ‘but if they want me to dance, I’ll dance.’”

Lastly, Michael Beasley’s All-Star Classic is tonight at Osseo High School. Here is the link:

About wallyworld

Mike has been writing for TWB as a hobby since the Kahn era, and currently resides in a Dallas suburb where he can often be heard loudly arguing with his neighbors about his strong dislike for JJ Barea. When not working, Mike enjoys playing the drums and pretending to like other sports.