2/09/2011 @ 12:45PM

What To Reveal During Your Job Search

You’re interviewing for a job and you know you may need time away from the office to care for your children, or for a terminally ill parent, or for your own serious medical condition. What and when do you tell your potential boss? Vicki Brackett, who runs Make It Happen for Women, a firm in Denver that professes to do “job search makeovers,” takes a hard-line stance. “You never tell an employer,” she says emphatically. “Never. Not until you’ve been there a while.”

Especially in this job market, she adds. The competition for jobs is so fierce that employers will always go for the candidate they believe can work the longest and hardest. “What employer wants to hire someone who’s not going to be there?” she asks.

Many job seekers, especially women, want to find a job that fits their life, rather than the other way around, Brackett says: “What women want most is a culture that works for them. They make the mistake of thinking that other women are going to understand, or that employers will care. It could be that the woman who’s interviewing you barely got to work in the morning because of problems at home. She doesn’t want to hire someone who has problems at home too.”

Brackett advises that as a job candidate you focus on proving your value to an employer, not only throughout the job search but even in the first months on the job. Some companies don’t firm up their hires until an initial trial period of 90 days has come to a close. Only then should the employee consider asking for flextime. Frame the request by describing how it will benefit the company. “You should say, ‘It’s something that can help me be more effective,’” Brackett advises. “Every discussion should be about the company.”

Stay away from chatter about your personal life, including seemingly harmless topics, she also advises. Even if you just returned from a fabulous two-week honeymoon in Italy, keep that to yourself. “The boss may think, here’s someone who takes long, expensive vacations. She’s going to want a lot of time off.”

Though it may seem a smart move to form a personal bond with an interviewer, avoid the temptation, Brackett says. A harried employer can view even do-gooding work outside the office as a liability these days, she adds. “If you say you’ve been out banging nails for Habitat for Humanity, the employer might think, she’s going to want time off to do that.” Only bring up non-work subjects if you’ve done your homework and you know, for instance, that the company encourages employees to do volunteer jobs.

Keep in mind that employers are forbidden by law to ask most personal questions. Kathleen McKenna, a partner in the labor practice at the law firm Proskauer Rose, says that both federal and local statutes forbid interviewers from asking about marital or family status, or about medical conditions. The only exception comes when a medical condition may directly affect the candidate’s ability to do the job. “If someone comes in in a wheelchair and you’re hiring for a pole-vaulting position, then you can ask, ‘Exactly how do you see this working for you?’” McKenna says.

Not all career coaches agree with Brackett’s zero-disclosure policy. Win Sheffield, a coach in New York City, says, “The way I look at the job interview process, it’s about three things: Can you do the job, is it a job you want, and will you fit at the company.” If you realize during the search process that a special medical condition or family circumstance will make for a bad fit, then speak up, Sheffield says, or at least be honest with yourself. If you don’t, you may wind up feeling you betrayed yourself–or your employer may feel you betrayed her.

Anita Attridge, a New Jersey coach, says she has counseled candidates with special circumstances about grappling with whether they may in fact need a part-time, rather than full-time, position. Nowadays full-time really means full-time, she points out. “The expectation is that you come in and you’re immediately ready to go,” she says. “Everyone has really tightened down their head counts. They don’t have the option to accommodate people’s special needs.”