LIFE, UNWOUND: Let’s Not Forget the Good Parts

The words social isolation fail. Maybe bodies apart/people connected succeeds as a term for this time. Isolation wouldn’t be healthy. Don’t people need people?

Hunkering down works. Hunkering down would include aloneness without loneliness, would include sorting old photos, doing puzzles. Solitude might bring benefits. Maybe in these at-home hours, we could grow more creative, concoct a new recipe for lentil stew, with celery and thyme, with time.

Sometimes I put on my teal jacket, the one my daughter gave me for Christmas. I tuck this lightweight windbreaker under my fleece, or pull it over my turtleneck, and walk out of my garage onto my driveway, and into the road. I see neighbors. We do not distance. Well, yes, 6 feet distant. We give each other wide berth. Yet we “social-ize.”

This one, in her usual crouch, digs up winter’s debris from what will bloom into her stunning garden. She stands when I say, “hi!” We have conversations like: How was your winter? Ok. Long. Yours? Same. Glad we returned from our trip before the virus hit. How are your grandkids? Ok, yours? Good, I miss them. Me too, I miss mine.

That one washes his car. We wave. Our talks sound like: How do you like yoga on Zoom? I miss going to class, you? Same, me too.

“Same, me too” is unity, not distance.

I walk past the house where my good friend lived, the first person I met after we moved here. At the mailboxes, she had said welcome. She told me she’d lived here for decades, and that Hannaford was four miles from our houses, and Shaw’s, three. She said most of the neighbors have a favorite. I said, thank you, I’ll choose, too. She said, good. And then this woman whom I had known for mere minutes said, I know I’m going to like you. I can tell you are a woman who makes up her own mind.

She moved three years ago, down the street, around the corner. Last week I invited her and another neighbor to what I called a “porch party.” I had waited for a warm afternoon when the late sun hit my front deck. I placed my colorful plastic deck chairs away from each other, one in each corner on the gray stones. We sat together/apart, apart/together. We inquired, how are things, how’s life, how are you? We celebrated. We smiled for no reason. We told jokes and giggled for good reasons. We encouraged. We empathized. We said we’d do it again. A friend drove by in his white van, rolled down his window and teased us from the road, “where’s the wine?”

Another neighbor strolled by with her dog and thumbed up, “Good idea. I’m going to do this too.”

Families peddled by on bikes. Kids streamed by on rollerblades.

When the world opens up, when we leave our homes for work, or to meet friends for coffee downtown or we go out for lunch, or we travel to see those grandkids we miss, I don’t want to lose this feeling of neighborhood. I want to laugh more, still, again. I want to host porch parties. I want the same waves, chats in the driveways, the same social connections. When we get to go out for dinner or the movies, when we get to linger at Shaw’s or Hannaford, whichever one we choose, I hope we remember how our hearts felt when we knew the wonder of each other as we lived in the time of bodies apart/people connected.

So. I’ve to read your uplifting outlook on “stay home” phase in our lives. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me because along with the serious concern I have for the immense and various losses from this virus, I am not lonely, afraid or disturbed here by myself. I have done similar things as you described and virtual lunches, Zoom meetings etc. I have found pleasure in contacting folks not heard from in a while, slowing down and thinking about my life goals both reached and not. My latest project is mastering my new Instant Pot. Being in my 90th year (it amuses me to say that) it takes a bit of time to master these new tangled things! I shall continue to be apart but connected, grateful, happy and looking forward to your next injection oh hope and happiness in my life. Thank you….keep writing!

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Books by Susan Lebel Young

“There lives in many of us a deep need to become more real to ourselves, to choose real food, to feel real feelings, and to acknowledge and honor the truth of our own lives. And that is where Susan Young comes in, because that is exactly what her marvelous book will help you do. She shares her own path with naked honesty. She writes transparently about her struggle with food, weight, and body image. She describes in deeply human terms how she has moved toward a genuine rela…

“Food Fix is a beautiful, compassionate, heartfelt book full of precisely the medicine our culture so deeply needs right now.”

Christiane Northrup, M. D.OB/GYN physician and author of the New York Times bestsellers: Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

“Food Fixfills a gap in the resources available to individuals interested in healing their relationship to food. The emphasis on Heartfulness provides a grounding center of kindness and compassion in the process of ‘getting real with food’. Sue befriends the reader by sharing her personal experiences, peppered with cultural references to create a bridge of trust through shared humanity. She takes the reader by the hand and one chapter at a time builds a pathway toward self-awareness and ac…

Julie Gray, R.N.

“When Maine golf champion Dr. Ray Lebel went into the hospital with heart trouble, his daughter, Susan Lebel Young, worked through the experience by keeping a journal. That journal now forms the core of her new book, Lessons from a Golfer. While she trudged through this difficult time, Young found that her father’s golf-inspired life strategies, (‘keep your eye on your own game,’ ‘tackle one shot at a time,’) gave her hope and the ability to hang in there.”

“Food Fix: Ancient Nourishment for Modern Hungersis wonderful book. Food Fix is not another diet book, rather it is a ‘life’ book. It points to the only place you can really find nourishment and contentment which is in your heart. It’s fair to say – food is important, the body needs it to live, but it can never fulfill the longing to be whole and healed – that comes from within you. This is a work of a lifetime, may you fare well in the journey.”

Bob Stahl, Ph.D.Co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Living With Your Heart Wide Open, and Calming the Rush of Panic

“If you are ready to break free from the seduction of unhealthful foods, Food Fix is the book for you. Susan Young shares valuable lessons from her journey to overcome dependence on high-fat, sugary foods and gives you the tools you need to take control of your health. Refocusing on healthful fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes will change your life. Susan will inspire you to nourish yourself with whole plant-based foods.”

“Savor this book. Take your time with it. It’s the real thing, filled with the kind of wisdom that only comes from the trenches. Sue Young brings a depth of understanding to the complex food issues that entrap and entangle so many of us today. After her wholehearted efforts, over the course of decades, she has emerged from the maze and the fog to offer guidance for others who are struggling with the food koan. Sue’s voice is clear, strong and beautiful and her message is grounded…

Thanks to you, Sue, I’m now eating fruit again, which says to me that you’re absolutely right that fruit sugar is different from processed sugar. I feel great when I eat real food, fruit included. I’m not going to say it’s easy not to eat processed junk, because it was such a habit for me. Yesterday I reeeeally wanted some peanut M&Ms. But, as we’ve been practicing, I was present to that craving, present with that wanting. I noticed it without judging and without acting on it. I had some cele…

Client and student

“Duke Ellington said, ‘It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing.’ If this is true, then Ray Lebel means a lot. On the first tee or with a cornet in his hand, he can swing! Ray is a true Renaissance man. Getting to know Ray Lebel in life and through this book redefined for me what a human is capable of.”

Tony BoffaMusician and Golf Enthusiast

“Food Fix will help you get underneath food cravings, habits, and old behaviors that are holding you back and keeping you from being as vibrant and radiant as you would like. Susan speaks with deep experience, passion, and great care about what total health means: body, mind and heart. Page by page, chapter by chapter, she teaches the miracles of self-nourishment. This is extraordinarily helpful in this food-crazed culture. And for an added side-effect…this way of living and eating can also impr…

“This wonderful story connects the dots between the game of golf and the life lessons it can teach us. Lessons is a book of the heart in every sense of the word. For every child who has ever wondered how to honor his or her father, for every golfer fascinated with the link between the game of golf and the game of life, and for every family member who has endured a health crisis with a loved one, this book is a gem. “

Nancy StoreyExecutive DirectorMaine State Golf Association

“This is a courageous book. By sharing her personal journey, Susan inspires hope for a gentle, self-compassionate way out of what she calls ’Food Frenzy’. With each chapter’s Antidotes to Food Frenzy, she is right there with her reader, teaching and encouraging from beginning to end of this valuable book. (I’ve already established a new morning ritual, based on what I learned in Chapter Twelve.) Food Fix shows us the importance and healing power of mindfulness.”