Saturday, May 9, 2009

Yesterday I wore a little sundress I got for $9.99 from Ross. It was not intended to be a maternity outfit by its designers but works out fine for that purpose. With a white t-shirt underneath and a little black cardigan, it was my best attempt at looking normal, but let's face it- when you have a beach ball emanating out from under your boobs, you look anything but normal. On the one hand, it's nice to finally be so obviously pregnant (as opposed to appearing just chubbily beer-bellied) but also strange to recognize everyone noticing my stomach, as well as giving me special treatment like holding open doors and always stepping back to let me have the right of way.

I went to the mall with my friend Jen, and we went into The Limited which had several hundred thousand adorable outfits that I can certainly not wear. Feeling like an ever-inflating and frumpy buffoon, I trailed after Jen as she picked out things she liked. To be truthful, I rarely buy clothes from the mall even when I'm not pregnant. But still. I felt a tad sorry for myself. And non-cute, in this mecca of lovely fashion.

A perfect-looking blonde and adorable salesgirl was zooming past me to another part of the store, and stopped to smile at me.

"I was just feeling so sorry for myself!" I exclaimed. "Here I am in this store and I am the size of a water buffalo and I can't wear a thing!"

"Well, just know that I would give anything to be in your shoes, be pregnant, and be wearing a sack if I had to," she said sweetly. "I am getting married in two weeks and my fiance wants to wait a while to have kids. I want to start trying in two weeks and a day! So I would trade with you in a second." She was extremely warm and friendly and we chatted for a while while she stared longingly at my stomach and I felt so happy I could burst.

It was a very good reminder. This baby was not an accident. Her existence was hoped for and prayed for and planned for and rejoiced in. There is no one who wanted to get pregnant more than me. There is nothing I want more in the world than to be a mother. The salesgirl's sincere reaction to my pregnancy reminds me of exactly how I would feel if I was wearing all the cute clothes in the world but couldn't have a baby. The experience changed my whole day. It reminded me that my outlook was not in line with my authentic feelings about being pregnant and being a mother. Getting to have this baby, and especially do it with a husband as wonderful as Dave, fulfills every most important desire I've had since childhood. It is an ENORMOUS blessing and I'm thrilled about it. I would do well and be happier to remember that more often.

What a great experience! Don't you love it when you have a seemingly insignificant encounter that manages to give you a big kick in the butt? I'm so glad that you're living such a great life and I can't wait to hear about your experiences as a mother!