Video: Hollywood remaking “Carrie” for some reason

posted at 8:01 pm on April 5, 2013 by Allahpundit

To cleanse the palate, a depressing reminder that it pays to be derivative. It makes zero creative sense but all the financial sense in the world to remake “Carrie” — possibly every 15 years from now on, to squeeze some easy cash from a new generation of teens who haven’t seen the original and are looking for a scare. Between that audience and the adults who remember DePalma’s film as seminal horror and are curious to see what modern filmmakers have done with it, it’s basically a money tree. But what’s different here? It looks almost like a shot-for-shot remake of the Sissy Spacek version albeit more generic in every way. The only thing about it that might conceivably improve upon the original is Julianne Moore as Carrie’s mother, but Piper Laurie was already fantastic in that role. Who wants to pay 15 bucks to see if Moore can pull off fantastic-plus-one? Lots of people, I guess, or else this wouldn’t have been made.

Note that the trailer runs through the movie’s entire plot, up to and including the pig’s-blood cataclysm. Not even a pretense of suspense about what the audience is in for.

Blowback

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Oh, thank goodness. I expected another gay marriage thread, but at least it’s something important like ‘Carrie’ – you know, not like the new Obama budget firing the first ‘take away your IRA’ salvo or anything meaningful. Phew.

I’m not a movie-goer now, and I wasn’t into the horror genre too much when I did see movies, but I loved this film as a kid and this is just flat-out wrong. Some films shouldn’t be messed with. Carrie is one of them. Remaking this film, more than anything else, shows a lack of respect for greatness. Shame on Hollywood – again.

even though we know what happens, it irks me that they show so much this early. all you have to do is show a shaking bucket of blood on top of a beam above carrie and her prom date right now. i need to be in advertising or something.

My buddy and I saw it in the theater when ‘Carrie’ was first released. We were in the back row with our feet up on the seats in front of us. The ending scared us both to the point where we both straightened our legs and broke the seats.

Anyone remember the remakes of ‘Psycho’ and ‘Rollerball’? Yeah, I think this film will probably join them in history.

I don’t see this improving on the original. That was back when DePalma was at the top of his game. Although a lot of his films at the time were blatant Hitchcock ripoffs. Chloe Moretz is gonna be a big star though.

Oh, thank goodness. I expected another gay marriage thread, but at least it’s something important like ‘Carrie’ – you know, not like the new Obama budget firing the first ‘take away your IRA’ salvo or anything meaningful. Phew.

Midas on April 5, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Thanks for the palate un-cleanser, you crank. It’s a shame that the hoodlums that bound you to a pole, pinned your eyes open and made you read this post still left you with the one hand free for the keyboard. Or were they taking dictation?

The only thing about it that might conceivably improve upon the original is Julianne Moore as Carrie’s mother, but Piper Laurie was already fantastic in that role. Who wants to pay 15 bucks to see if Moore can pull off fantastic-plus-one?

Actually, the casting (along with the retelling) is what makes this just so much more kee-rap to avoid. This will always be Sissy Spacek’s role. And if you wanna watch a nice little lesser-known movie with her (and Monte Marham & Susan Oliver & even Slim Pickens) this is a pleasant diversion. And it won’t cost you a cent at YouTube:

This makes perfect sense from a Hollywood dickhead angle: re-make Carrie and more importantly her psycho mother into a Sarah Palin tea party type.

If I’m an angry Obama-loving flaming lib in a Hollywood production studio office (is there any other kind?), I am running to the phone to get this project started with Julianne Moore or Tina Fey in the role of the religious nutter would-be murderess mom, and Lena Dunham in the Carrie role.

Pure box office poison in red states but if you’re an Obama kneepad-wearing Hollywood vecchione, this story idea is Popcorn City.

Saw this trailer yesterday before Evil Dead. ( a bloody good-time remake that does nothing but prove that a chainsaw can be your best friend, and do stay until after the credits) and couldn’t believe it. It even shows a car trying to run Carrie down and smashing into an invisible force field two feet before it hits her. This film will last all of a day and a half in the theaters, then silently slink away.

Hollywood seems to be to busy with their noses in political causes to do anything requiring creativity. Just keep rehashing the same old movies. It does give me an idea on how they could save SNL from the trash heap. The show was great for years, but has sucked for the last 10 or so. Maybe they should remake Samurai Baker, Land Shark, Emily Litella, Coneheads, etc.

The last time I wanted to go to the movies was when AJ Abrams rebooted Star Trek. Once the excitement wore off, I realized how much that movie sucked. Abrams drained everything that made the original (and even all the subsequent series) good and turned it into a lame action movie with more plot holes than a moth-eaten bed sheet. I haven’t been back to the theater since.

Perfect. Does she have a tea party membership card? Does she have a picture of Wayne LaPierre on the wall? Does the family car have a Palin bumpersticker on it?

#FAILFAILFAIL.

PappyD61 on April 5, 2013 at 8:46 PM

That’s what I was thinking when I heard about this. And it is probably why they are remaking it. I mean, why else do it?

In this one, the mom will probably own a gun and use and display it carelessly; Carrie will probably experiment with lesbianism and the mom will explode violently on her for it; and her mom will probably thump Carrie on the head a number of times with the Bible.

The last time I wanted to go to the movies was when AJ Abrams rebooted Star Trek. Once the excitement wore off, I realized how much that movie sucked. Abrams drained everything that made the original (and even all the subsequent series) good and turned it into a lame action movie with more plot holes than a moth-eaten bed sheet. I haven’t been back to the theater since.

I never even see anything advertised I want to see.

A Carrie remake? Seriously?
Who the hell goes to see this crap?

DRayRaven on April 6, 2013 at 10:21 AM

I love Star Trek, and I never saw this movie, and I never intend to. Once I saw the promos with Spock getting it on with Uhura I knew it would be junk.