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Mighty Jacksparrow is an Earth-based sub-intergalactic blogger who enjoys writing and in the same time entertaining his ever-amusing will-kill-to-read fans with sensationally hilarious and at times dramatic musings. This blog offers endless ideas and results; they might be charming most of the times but could be offending in some others. Therefore, it is always noble to remind that if you enjoy the pieces, carry on reading, but if they upset you, do quietly leave like the evening breeze and not like exploding diarrhea, which exactly what you will look like if you ever lose it on me. Enjoy! :D

Monday, February 22, 2010

Joke of The Year [updated]

I have a cousin.

A female cousin, she is the most lovely and appreciated between my many other female cousins. She has the charm, the intelligence, the attraction of beauty and the most delicate manner I have ever observed, quite the type of women I usually mingle with, and well, she's my cousin. My lovely, lovely cousin.

But there was something bad happened to her recently.

She was stalked by one psychotic ex-lover, whom she oft refers to as 'Kiddo', for his extremely childish and foolish behavior, and of course, the boy being 2 years younger than she is. This boy has yet to face the bitter fact that she has left him for good, for he was this completely unbelievably childish man whom has yet to reach his maturity, and, well, as expected she left due to this. Simple logic.

And what an unpleasant surprise to note that this guy put up like 30 photos of him and my cousin in his Facebook, in one particular album he called 'Me with the person I loved before'. The motive of this act was completely understood - one sad creepy kind of guy who finds world to be troubling enough for him to get his motivation. Worst, he works in the same department my cousin is now currently working.

Now this guy has certainly drove Le Famille to a certain point of alertness, where he continuously harassed the cousin and her family members with endless calls and texts that claimed his burning love for the lady still, in such demeaning, disgusting ways that drove not only the lady but the rest of the family members away.

Recently some of my family members came up to me, some of them are what I refer to, in jokingly manner, as the templars; the higher council members of the family tree, the people who came to exist as the direct descendants and who have the absolute power to control the family future. They paid me a visit and they gave me an offer I can't refuse - an order to initiate warfare, with just one final objective: an absolute end to the current conflict.

And of course, me being the young, energetic, extremely good in using perfectly chosen words in various situations and was at the time very, very bored for I have no adventures or quests to complete, I accepted the challenge. Having three complete days to study the prey out and wide and going all deep, I was ready to play the game, in the name to protect a family member.

Because Le Famille is all I've got left, and I shall protect them completely even when my soul is the trade.

* * *

February the 18th.

The siren was thundered by the templars. I was notified and I received the order to proceed.

Knowing that the prey is a hopeless idiot, the best way to show his foolishness is to drive his nonsensical jealousy out of his skin. The strategy plan was made into order and executed at once.

So I went to the lady's Facebook and all I said was, "Hey. I missed you." from which she replied as shown below, and as expected, this drove his jealousy over his limit of sanity.

Which of course, a very, very foolish thing to do.

The rest is shown in the image below. Please click for a better view. Well at least I covered up some names to, well, protect. See? I'm a good guy after all.

But that does not mean I am not mean.

Updated:

To date, he has:

1. 30-something photos of him and my cousin in his facebook.

2. Posted some pics of him and her on the wall to attract sympathy from the passing crowds.

3. Made some of the Le Famille members too distracted that a police report has to be designed to log, 'just in case'.

4. Acting psycho all along these while that drove my cousin very, very uncomfortable.

5. Declared a state of war with me. With me? Me.

6. At the hour still refused to note on his foolishness. Nice. Go on, make my day.