…or not as the case may be. Learning how to juggle family, work, friends and me time.

Menu

party

Just the two of us
This is officially the full extent of my crazy little family now because…drum roll please…

I am finally, officially, a divorced woman!!

I know this can be a sad moment for some people but considering I first met my solicitor to get this show on the road on my wedding anniversary in 2014 – 6 months after me and my ex had actually separated – it has been a loooong time coming.

I have waded through lawyer speak, lawyer bills, my first solicitor going on maternity leave (her little boy is now 18 months old and she’s pregnant again), an ex who insisted on not responding to any sort of correspondence without being chased (more bills from my solicitor), a flat sale that couldn’t go ahead without a financial agreement and a court that decided not to actually let my solicitors know when they’d finally crossed the last t and dotted the last I.

It’s been a journey and a stressful one at that but it’s done. I am an official single woman again with her official maiden name back. I feel light, happy, elated with a tiny tinge of sadness but we’ll gloss over that bit.

So now is the time to organise the divorce party or as my best friend called it ‘the Phoenix party’ because I am rising from the ashes and I’ve come back more beautiful (glimmers of happiness can do that to you) and a hell of a lot more strong.

Charlotte’s birthday has come around again and today she turned four. I am absolutely beside myself that my little girl is not little anymore! In fact she’s seems older with every day. She recently learnt the art of negotiation, she has developed some amazing dance skills and she had her haircut adding at least two years on.

from one to four I booked the day off work a long time ago but Charlotte preferred to go to nursery to spend her day with her friends (I know, it’s like she’s a teenager already!). They ate cake and played pass the parcel, all whilst I was in our new house stripping walls. Fun fun!

After last years birthday I seemed to have gone entirely the other way and done as little as possible effort wise to celebrate. This year I bought the cake from Asda. This year there is no crazy hall hired with 20 loud kids arriving and there is not a large family gathering but, despite me saying this is what I’d do and having no time to do anything more extravagant I kind of regret it a little bit. Our weekend is filled with birthday parties but none are hers which also makes me feel bad.

But, she has got some lovely presents (including Sylvanian Families and Lego which I am very excited by!), has already seen all her friends from nursery, we had a birthday tea with friends (because they are way more organised than me!) and we get to spend this weekend together.

6.30am wake up! This time next year she’ll be off to school so I should be grateful we’re not going through that crazy change too I guess. It does mean nursery and I have our hands full this year though. Eeek!

Please come and follow me on Instagram @theperfectjuggler to see Charlotte’s amazing dance moves, progress on my house and a whole lot of other random stuff!

This weekend I went on my sister-in-law-to-be’s hen do. I am still recovering, two days later. After ten months of being thirty I’m starting to see that there is actually a difference in how I approach a night out and how I react to the aftermath of said night out. For instance…

Organising:20’s – phone call…night of the party/drinks etc
“What you up to?”
“Not much, you?”
“Not a lot…fancy going out for a drink?”
“Yeah, sounds good. See you in an hour”30’s – phone call three weeks before party/drinks etc
“I haven’t seen you in ages, we need a night out…are you free three Saturdays from now?”
“Can I get back to you? I need to check my diary, see if I can get a babysitter, we’re on a sleep routine so not sure if I want to rock the boat…”

Preparation:20’s – shower, blowdry hair, apply make up, put on one of the many dresses you have, pick a pair of shoes and matching bag.30’s – book in to the salon to have a spray tan to try and make you look slim and less tired, browse the range of Spanx online, dive into Outfit the afternoon of the event after doing your big shop and realise that you hate your body and nothing you try on looks good, give up and go home, throw everything out of the wardrobe whilst having a breakdown, realise you now haven’t got time for a shower so use a baby wipe and put on your staple ‘smart jeans’ and floaty top to cover the muffin top (gave up on the Spanx after pulling a muscle trying to put them on).

The going out bag:20’s – a sleek clutch style bag which only contains a lipgloss, your bank card, your keys and your phone.30’s – an over the shoulder style bag because it’s more practical and so you can fit in your entire wallet, your phone, your phone charger because you inevitably forgot to charge it and won’t have enough battery to show everyone pictures of your gorgeous daughter, your entire make up bag, some tissues, an odd child’s size sock (how did that get in there?) tampons (because you never know) and condoms (because you never know!).

The hair:20’s – long and flowing, straightened or curled with some form of heating iron or up with 1000 hair grips and a gallon of hairspray keeping it there.30’s – you’re lucky if you get time to wash it, let alone dry it. I work on the natural look and bed head’s meant to be sexy, no?

The legs:20’s – naked legs, shaved all the way up and fake tan beautifully applied.30’s – 600 denier tights, no one will get a look at the hairy pasty legs hiding underneath.

During:20’s – drink, flirt, drink, dance30’s – drink, have a sit down, drink, sneak a cranberry juice in, check your phone to make sure the babysitter hasn’t called, cast your eye around the bar and realise that all the guys are 10 years younger than you, flirt anyway, drink, dance, but feel really self conscious as you do so in case you are doing a ‘mum dance’.

The aftermath:20’s – throw up when you get in, but feel well enough to eat a fry up the next day around 12pm when you finally rise from your bed.30’s – not be sick, so still feel sick when your evil body clock (or worse, a toddler) wakes you up at 7.30am. Eat toast gingerly and try and stop the head from exploding with water, coffee and ibuprofen whilst telling said toddler that mummy needs a quiet day and hoping they’ll be happy watching cbeebies for the next couple of hours.

Memory:20’s – not remembering what happened so thinking you had a great night.30’s – remembering everything that happened, so knowing you made a complete arse out of yourself and exactly why you have that massive bruise.

Lessons learnt:20’s – none. You meet your friends in the pub that evening and order a beer, claiming hair of the dog.30’s – none, you vow you will never drink again. Alcohol is empty calories anyway. This lasts two whole days until you realise that you miss wine.

Despite all if the above I had a great time this weekend and will no doubt be doing it all again shortly…maybe a couple less Jäger bombs next time though.