Sex Toys are not a Sign of Loneliness

Posted on May 31, 2016

... or Desperation

When I first started here at Lovetreats, I was constantly telling all my friends about it. But there was one particular conversation with my friend 'Mr.Vibes' that stood out, as we discussed male masturbators. At the end of our very fuelled conversation, (his stance being, “I’m not desperate maaan, why maaan, would I need a toy maaan, when I got a girl maaaan.”), I was intrigued by his opinion and decided it was time that we started this conversation openly here at Better Than Chocolate.

Masturbators. Lubricants. Anal toys. Whips. Handcuffs. Vibrators. For most people, the first thought that pops into their heads are: sleazy, pornographic, kinky, desperate, sex addict, etc. This negative, warped imagery created by the media around us, has written off toys. But what if we looked at sex toys in a different way. What if, instead of seeing them as scary devices elusively used by the perverts and porn stars of the world, we see them as an accessory to sex: not a necessity but definitely a wonderful addition to spice up the main attraction.

For example, imagine eating the same sandwich for every meal, day in and day out, but one day you add a new herb or spice just to change things up and suddenly it’s a thousand times better; same with sex toys. Imagine the same intercourse style or form of masturbation but amped-up with a wonderful new booster: An addition, but not a replacement.

Let’s get the most common misconception out of the way: Sex toys are only for those who are desperate and lonely. Wrong. Sex toys can and are experimentally and functionally used between couples to heighten the experience. Plus, let’s keep in mind, our sexuality is a primal wired drive, denying it, is like denying the urge to eat or drink water.

So why view toys as only for those who are desperate but instead, see toys as a way to HONOUR and meet this physically ingrained need.I was perturbed by how sex toys also seem to symbolize a lack of ability of one’s body or partner to perform “well” thus creating this idea that people use toys to replace real, “incapable” human touch. Wrong. For example, when it comes to women, many perfectly functioning bodies cannot, or take a longer time, to orgasm simply because vaginal intercourse doesn’t directly stimulate the almighty clitoris.

To really evoke a soul-moving orgasm many sex therapists actually recommend using toys, like vibrators or pleasure rings, to stimulate this and other erogenous areas. Keep in mind, it’s not your lady’s unique body to be blamed, the need for more than G-spot stimulation is an experience over 75% of women have. So consider the addition of a spunky sex toy to truly explore the needs of our unique bodies.

Another misconception many-a people believe: Sex toys are made by dishonest men who are trying to capitalise on sexual ignorance. Think sleazy bodegas in dodgy alleys, where the lighting is poor and the walls are plastered with overly-sexualised nude women, in disempowering poses. The products are cheap and poorly made. Wrong.

The vision of Lovetreats, and many other legal & safe brands is to discard these negative notions. Not only is our online store user friendly and sans lewd images, we encourage equality in sexual relations, safety and consent. Most importantly the idea is to encourage people to EXPLORE, finding out your personal pleasures and to reclaim this natural instinct our society has tainted.

Perhaps it’s time to view toys as truly awe-inspiring and not toys of the “lonely and desperates” of the world, and seeing toys as the basil to your regular salad…the new shaving cream on beard day! Oh, and let’s just say 'Mr. Vibes' is saving up for our gorgeous , and let’s be real, as Norman Lindsay once said, “Sex is not only the basis of life, it is the reason for life.” – so why not enjoy it!

Written by Nidhi Gopalan. Nidhi studied Acting at NYU and is currently finishing her degree in Social Work in Bangalore. Nidhi loves cooking, meeting new people and changing her hair colour once in a while. She writes awesome blogs and makes sure the Lovetreats team gets enough vitamins and antioxidants.