While having dinner with her family during their trip to Thailand, Brody Jenner teases his step sister about finding a new man at the Thai fighting match they’re attending later that evening. And although it started off as a lighthearted conversation, it quickly got serious when Brandon Jenner asked about Lamar.

“Can’t find him,” Khloé respond matter-of-factly. “He went back to New York and then ever since he’s been there he’s been missing.”

The Keeping Up With the Kardashians star continued to open up by admitting she still feels the need to make sure he’s okay, even though she shouldn’t want to.

“Lamar’s stuff will weigh on me for the rest of my life. The marriage didn’t work out not because of me, it wasn’t what I wanted. So for the rest of my life I’m going to deal with that, worry about him, think about him and want just to protect him.”

Watch the video above to see Khloé’s emotional struggle with the divorce.