Marriage, Touching, and Connecting

To touch something you experience it. To feel what you’re touching is to love and live.

I know I’ve only been married for about five seconds so my advice may be void to some pro’s married for years and years but I believe that it’s all relative. I was a serial repeater on dating men for extended amounts of time. I actually can classify years of my life under the guys names that I was dating because mentally it’s easier to recall instances by the era of romantic interests.

So with years stacked together with them, one totaling around eight, gives me the belief that I know what I’m talking about in terms of love.

Do you remember what it’s like to touch someone’s hand for the first time? How magnetic the sensation can be and how negative it can be when there is no spark at all. Sparks are a mandatory thing when we have feelings for someone and it’s not nonsense conjured up by women to make them feel like it’s more than a touch. It’s scientifically proven.

Back in the 1980s, a group of research scientists – including molecular biologist Candace Pert, neuroanatomist Miles Herkenham at the National Institute of Health and neuroscientist Francis Schmitt at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, among others – began radically changing the scientific community’s ideas of the way the human body works. Although much of their work was considered radical and controversial at the time, they eventually succeeded in turning a great deal of accepted science on its head.

They also identified the means by which emotions cause the body-wide release (and take-up) of all sorts of information-carrying molecules, often in areas with no electrical neurons. These chemicals, known as ligands (most of which fall into the giant class of chemical messengers called peptides) perform a vast range of functions. They travel through our extra-cellular fluids and hook up with specific, highly selective receptors located on cells throughout the body. Once attached, they impart molecular messages that can dramatically impact our physiological functioning at the cellular and systemic levels.

Too much overkill on verbiage? I agree.

Let’s make it a bit more simple …

Biochemical reactions to mental and emotional stimuli; your thoughts, feelings, and actions, impact every system of your body. Touch appears to affect multiple brain regions at conscious and unconscious levels.

From the moment we’re born we’re placed into another person’s arms and with that connection builds the child’s first connection to touch. When you touch someone else, the oxytocin is released from your brain upon contact. This feel good drug is legit and the most natural high you may be able to have.

So let’s take it back to the relationships. If you’re with someone and you stop connecting, touching, and supporting, you’ll eventually lose what spark you once shared. In almost every relationship that I’ve had that failed shows me that this belief has some merit.

When you stop spending time together, you stop connecting.

When you stop connecting, you stop touching.

When you stop touching, you’re become roommates.

When you become roommates, you tend to look for that spark somewhere else.

When you look for that spark somewhere else, you find it.

Moral of the story? Don’t lose the spark.

Cheers to the upcoming anniversary of our engagement.

Other Posts You Might Enjoy...

SHARE:

I'm a 30-something Louisville dweller and aficionado. I am a creative optimist dedicated to helping others through my talents and skills both professionally and philanthropically. This blog serves as the space I've curated to be the home of my writing with a broad range of topics as I blog my way through life, love, and the city of Louisville.