Helm’s Edge, Chapter One

I have a huge favour to ask. I need the first chapter of Helm’s Edge to be critiqued. Like, seriously critiqued: looked over thoughtfully and unbiased, then presented with a list of what works, what doesn’t work, and ideas how to rework the stuff that doesn’t hit the mark.

Essentially, the book is in the first person, present tense. Written from the perspective of a socially inept nerdy fellow. The first chapter follows our hero who wakes up after an earthquake and finds the city he recently moved to is void of all life, except for zombies and grotesque, arachnid creatures.

There are a lot of nerdy pop culture references, as well as homages to my favourite horror novelists and directors.

I know this post will be skimmed past with most readers’ reactions of “FUCK NO, MARY JANE, GOOD DAY SIR, LOL,” but I seriously need the help. If you’re a writer like me, who is serious about the craft, you’ll understand that there is no way to grow as a storyteller and word-smith if you don’t have decent reader feedback.

And yes, that was me just trying to guilt trip you.

I posted an earlier version of the chapter on my Facebook, but this version today is a lot different from that earlier version. You can find the new version of Helm’s Edge chapter one here. To leave feedback, shoot me a message on Facebook. There are a couple of typos; I’ve already dealt with ’em, so don’t worry.

What’s in it for you? How’s a free copy of the book when it comes out? >_>;