September 23, 2017

"A whimsical polyamorous wedding joining two families in awesomeness"

Offbeat Bride ("altar your thinking") covers another poly wedding ceremony, with lots of pix. In this case the stars of the occasion were the two women in a two-couple quad in Colorado.

By Katie

We have a polyamorous family. I have been married to Ben for 11 years, Audree has been married to Allan for 11 years; Allan and I are partners, and Ben and Audree are partners. The four of us live together with our children.

There were very few traditional elements to our wedding. Audree and I went for a whimsical and eclectic vibe that centered on joining our two families with a commitment ceremony and a fun party afterward. The venue was a historic elementary school that has been converted to a marketplace and brewery. Our ceremony and reception were in the school's old gym, which serves as an event center.

Cocktail hour was in the brewery's barrel aging room. Our beautiful cake was made by my mom, who does the baking for our family restaurant. We chose a palette of muted rainbow colors. ... Audree and I chose to have our guests seated in a circular arrangement so we could feel surrounded on all sides by those most dear to us. We walked in as a family, first our husbands and son, then our daughters, and then us. ...

That delightful site has collected all of its stories tagged "polyamory" under the heading 20+ inspiring polyamorous weddings on Offbeat Bride (though the number of articles is not actually the number of ceremonies covered.) The photography is gorgeous. Some of my faves:

With this wedding, we're getting a two-fer: a legal ceremony between a bride and a groom, and a handfasting ceremony between that bride and groom and their partner. It's all about the tear-y groom, the cake-saving groom, the bride in a gorgeous blue dress, and three people totally in love. And don't miss the tears-welling-like-mad triple kiss!

A gorgeous forest setting, lovely Pagan symbolism, and of course, three fabulous brides in long white gowns! They may have had to find a balance between different backgrounds, religions, and preconceived notions, but the end result was a kick-ass wedding that everyone could enjoy. Just learn from these blue-tongued ladies that a rainbow cake sometimes has it's side effects…

This hodgepodge of rainbows and sunny moments has lots of creative awesomeness and colorful memories! The bright rainbow dress! The boyfriend's orange vest! The quiddich robes! The skit before the vows! You guys, tune in for a team that pulled together and laughed together and serenaded the nerves away…

If you thought explaining your poly ceremony to your great-aunt Rose was difficult, imagine having to explain it to a judge. This is one of the few dark areas of the law where a relationship is legal but a wedding [that purports to officialize] the relationship is a crime. There are laws against polyamorous marriages in every state, though enforcement is very spotty.

To protect who and how you love, talking to an attorney who understands the family you're building and the risks you're taking is essential. It's even more important to speak to an attorney about child custody and child support if you're planning on having kids with your partners or already have kids with someone else. There's virtually no automatic protection for all of your partners, but a creative, understanding attorney [for instance –Ed.] can help you build the protections your family needs in ways other than getting married.