Come join James Franco for a James Dean-themed sex-doll orgy-slash-art-project! Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are married... or are they?! And Justin Timberlake has a crush. Saturday gossip is a rebel, Saturday gossip is a rebel, Saturday gossip is a rebel.

Now that you've read our sexxclusive sexxterview with James Franco's bare ass, which is currently gracing the cover of Flaunt magazine, you may want to read Flaunt's description of one of Franco's art projects, a sex-doll orgy "loosely based," in the words of the A.V. Club, "around a real-life behind-the-scenes drama involving Dennis Hopper, director Nicholas Ray, and Natalie Wood":

"I wanted your sugar lips on my cock all day, Jimmy," [a woman playing Sal] Mineo says before shoving her dildo in the sex doll's mouth. "You are my girl, Jimmy. You feel as sweet as ice cream." She unbuttons the sex doll's pants and flips it over. "Your ass is so ready, Jimmy. Let me put it in your rebel ass." She spits on her dildo cock and stuffs it in James Dean's inflatable butthole.

[...]

I look around. Everyone is making out with dolls, riding them, switching positions. "My girl loves it on her face, doesn't she, Jimmy?" huffs Mineo before squirting the James Dean doll with cum-lotion. We spray the sex dolls with two cans of condensed milk. It's a real cumfest.

Franco, who is in the middle of the action, begins to record himself on an iPhone, repeating, "I'm a rebel, I'm a rebel, I'm a rebel, I'm a rebel…" His eyes are closed. There is no irony in his voice.

Robert Pattinson says that he and girlfriend/costar Kristen Stewart are "technically... already married" because while filming Twilight: Ghost Recon, since they used a "real priest" and "he did all the things you would do in a normal ceremony," like sacrifice a ram and dip Pattinson's genitals in its blood. [Us]

Michael Lohan, who fell three stories trying to escape from cops after violating a restraining order on his ex, professional girlfriend Kate Major, was denied bail on Friday—even though he has a celebrity boxing match coming up against Tareq Salahi! How will Lohan, confined to a wheelchair escape from jail? Pick up the next issue of Who Gives a Shit Weekly to find out! [TMZ]

Italian television personality Elisabetta Canalis on her recently-ended two-year relationship with George Clooney: "he has been a special for me, and very important, just as a father would be [...] between us there was more of a father-daughter relationship." Does that quote say more about a) Canalis b) Clooney or c) Italy? [People]

Justin Timberlake Esquire UK that "us American males are big fans of Pippa [Middleton]." No, Justin. Us American males are big fans of guns. [Page Six]

Speaking of celebrities with crushes! Rachel Bilson, who played Ben on The O.C., says Ryan Gosling is "supposed to be my husband!" Well, he's not, Rachel, and you need to take some 53 percent-style personal responsibility by kidnapping Gosling and keeping him in a, let's say, ten-foot-deep pit in your basement. [NYDN]