We found cocaine traces in Trump Tower

Donald Trump’s notorious taco bowls are not the only South American export being consumed in his Manhattan tower, The Tab can reveal.

On a recent visit to Trump Tower, our reporters found themselves in the downstairs bathroom with a set of cocaine trace wipes.

The narcotic swabs turn blue in the presence of cocaine. And in the ladies’ bathroom of Trump Tower, with guests to the tower taking selfies in the red marble corridors, they found a match.

Despite being a global emblem of New York’s high life gaucherie, Trump himself is teetotal. “I’ve never taken drugs of any kind, never had a glass of alcohol,” he wrote in his 2000 book The America We Deserve.

He is famous for saying, about Mexican migrants, “They’re bringing drugs.” Now that phrase can be applied to his Trump Tower guests.

We ventured inside Trump’s Fifth Avenue skyscraper — past the modestly-named Trump Bar, Trump Grill, and Trump Ice Cream Parlor — all the way to the gaudy restrooms at the bottom of the tower.

The men’s toilets we swabbed were clean — but after some time examining the women’s, one stall after another, we hit the jackpot:

Avoiding the tourists clutching their newly-purchased Trump swag, we discovered three out of six of the ladies’ bathroom stalls tested positive for cocaine residue.

There is no suggestion of wrongdoing on the part of The Trump Organization, who did not respond to our request for comment.

But it’s good to see that Trump Wine isn’t the only thing giving the tourists a buzz in Trump Tower.