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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Tale of the Pie: Amedeo's Too

I should have taken it as a sign.

A mere three hours before the Philadelphia Phillies took the field at Citizens Bank Park and treated their loyal followers to a performance akin to a steakhouse diner in need of a Heimlich maneuver, we chose to order a pizza from Norristown's Amedeo's Too (yeah, I don't really get the "too"either). This was a mistake akin to sending Cliff Lee out in the seventh inning of a game in which he was clearly being shelled (yeah, I will shut up about the Phillies soon).

It's a shame too because the people working at this place are very nice. When I went to pick up the pie, they were wild about Saucy Jr., telling me how cute he was and certainly making me feel very comfortable with their prompt service. But, of course, their prompt service was part of the problem. You see, they quoted me 20 minutes to make the pie. Despite the fact that I live a mere 10 minutes away and I left immediately because I am always suspicious of pizza shop time-quotes, the pizza and wings I ordered were already available when I entered the store. Factor in the drive home and this meant cold food and a very bumpy start to the Amedeo's pizza experience.

When I arrived at home and opened the box, the disappointments kept coming. You see, the wife was in the mood for sausage and peppers so we added that to the pie. For whatever reason, I am not always a major fan of sausage on pizza, so I requested extra sauce. This is always a quandary, I suppose, for the pizza maker, but really what I want when I ask for this is just a little more sauce than the usual pie. I want it to ooze a little bit out of the slice when I fold the pie. What I am not looking for is sauce seemingly applied via fire hose. Unfortunately, Amedeo's response to the extra sauce request was closer to the latter, with an overload of sauce provided beneath the cheese and an extra dollop added to the pizza in the form of a red-topper. It was just too much.

As for the actual taste of the sauce, I must confess that there was a bit of a split decision between myself and the wife. The better half thought it was fairly good, but I'm writing the review and I felt that it was heavily sugared and not overly reminiscent of tomato despite the fact that it was extremely chunky.

The excess sauce also did no favors to the rest of the pie's elements. It softened what was already a very thick, chewy crust. I am also convinced that the pie was not properly cooked time-wise because under extensive examination I not only detected its mushiness orally, but the eye test revealed segments of the slice that seemed extremely doughy as if it was pulled out a little too early. The cheese of the pie certainly did not pop with flavor, and it was made worse due to the poor time-quote. It was clumpy and ooze-resistant. The toppings overall were a bust to me as well. Yes, the green peppers seemed fresh, but who can blow a green pepper? The sausage, on the other hand, was underspiced. It seemed like someone had sliced up some breakfast links and tossed them on the pie. The wife noted that they did distribute the toppings liberally, but if you are not really feeling the flavor of them, there comes a time when that is a bit of a liability, no?

So OK, the main attraction was a bit of a letdown, but the good thing is that we also ordered the wings. Perhaps, they would be so spectacular that they would make the $21 purchase worthwhile! Sorry. If you thought that was what I was going to write, you had probably already reserved your spot on Broad St. for the Phillies parade. Don't be so gullible; the appetizer was awful too. While they were plump enough, they had an unforgivable lack of sauce on them and that which was there added virtually nothing detectable by the average tastebud. We pretty much had to douse those joints with Cholula just to make them semi-enjoyable.

I think you know where this review is going: You are thinking that it is heading full steam ahead toward a sentence that begins with "Don't" and ends with "order a pizza from Amedeo's Too." And you would be correct. Only I would be remiss if I didn't mention their location as well. I hate it. Their parking lot is ridiculously small. You pretty much have to be an instructor for the DMV to get out of the vicinity without scratching up your (or somebody else's) beloved automobile. By the way, sorry, Dude in Benz who I left with a horrible surprise. I'm sure your insurance will cover it! Now, if only they would give you back the money you spent on that lousy pie from Amedeos Too.