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18 Responses to Ghost Rider

The ONLY thing cool about that movie was the flame effects. The fire looked pretty damn good. Too bad watching that movie is equal to having Nick Cage come to your home and take a shit into your eyes and ears.

Damn you all! I couldn’t post from home when I saw this, and was waiting to get to work so I could run off a list of movies from an IMDB search of Cage proving that he doesn’t automatically auto-suck movies.

That said, of the list I was going to post you have missed:

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (not a big part, I know)
Face/Off
8MM

And I know many of you will disagree, but I really liked the first Natural Treasure. The second one killed the idea entirely though.

Lord of War had some good writing, but Cage’s voicover sounded like they were using a robot to save costs.

“Of all the weapons in the vast soviet arsenal nothing was more profitable than Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947, more commonly known as the AK-47, or Kalashnikov. It’s the worlds most popular assault rifle, a weapon all fighters love. An elegantly simple nine pound amalgamation of forged steel and plywood, it doesn’t break, jam, or overheat. It will fire whether it’s covered in mud or filled with sand. It’s so easy even a child could use it, and they do. The Soviets put the gun on a coin. Mozambique put it on their flag. Since the end of the Cold War, the Kalashnikov has become the Russian people’s greatest export. After that comes vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists. One thing is for sure, no one was lining up to buy their cars.”

Look, I like Nick Cage as an actor. I would say though, about 70% that he is in does suck. I liked The Rock, Gone in 6o seconds, Lord of War, National Treasure, and of course Rasing Arizona. Face Off, Moonstruck, and 8mm were ok, and Con-Air had its moments (mainly because of John Cuzack or John Malcovich), but those are the only things he’s notable good at. Just look at Snake Eyes or The Whicker Man. HORRIBLE.

Now Ghost Rider…where to start.

This could have been the coolest movie EVER, but it sucked. First off, Nick Cage. Too old for the part, and not the best actor to play as a demon killer. Second, that asshole red-head Donal Logue ( from Grounded For Life – no need to be in the movie), next is Eva Mendes had no need to be as a love interest (plus I find it to be her worst gig since Too Fast Too Furious). Peter Fonda can play a mean Free Spirited Road Hog, but he is no Mephistopheles. Lastly, WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THE ACTION. Ghost Rider rides his back up the side of building – thats cool. He defeats a demon in under 60 seconds of fighting by making a whirl wind with his chain – TOTALLY FUCKING LAME!! The best fight in the entire movie is the first one where he get smashed by a truck, but thats it. Each fight is no more than 3 minutes! The WORST is when you don’t even get to see him kill the demon underwater. WHO THE FUCK BASES DEMONS OFF OF ELEMENTS, ANYWAYS. The Budhists, thats who, and they don’t even believe in Lucifer and Mephistopheles. THERE NEEDED TO BE BLOOD AND GORE, BONES AND TORTURE! and you’re given is some lame ass demon made from air. FUCK THIS MOVIE, I’m going to go watch Death Proof.

One of the worst things for the movie was the motto for the movie “His curse became his power”. Curse being: given this crazy power to go do stuff for the devil. This causes him headaches and a chance to miss one (1) date.
…. What a curse!