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Sunday, May 19, 2013

Absentee Mom

That's me. This week, I have been totally unable to take care of my kids. In fact, I haven't directly even seen them (except for video calls) since Tuesday. I have relinquished 100% of everything to Dad.

I've ALWAYS been the one to take care of my 3 munchkins/monsters. I chose to be a Stay At Home Mom and make that my Number 1 responsibility and priority over 5.5 years ago (when the twins were about 9 months old). Dad continued to work outside the home to make sure that there was a paycheck and would always try to do his part when he was home, but we don't generally leave them with a sitter (translation, practically NEVER) and I only generally leave all 3 kids in his care for brief periods of time.

But this week, things changed. On Monday, I got sick. By Tuesday, despite "feeling better", I knew something was really wrong so he took me to the emergency room. And I've been in a hospital room ever since. Dad has been working hard to take good care of our children single-handedly, and he's doing an AMAZING job. But, I can't help but feel I'm not pulling my weight.

I know that, we all need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of someone else. But when doing that literally isolates you from your children, all you want to do is cry. Dad has visited every weekday but we both know that Music Man's anxieties makes my desire to see the kids impossible. And I'm grateful for the technology at our fingertips allowing us to make "FaceTime" calls to one another so, not only do I get to here my children, but I get to see them too.

But it all doesn't lessen the feeling of being an "Absentee Mom".

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My name is Ilene and I'm a SAHM living outside of Washington, DC with my wonderful husband, 3 children, and my dog. My two younger children are twins, and are both on the spectrum. I normally spend nearly all of my time taking care of my family, except when circumstances prevent it.

I haven't been blogging much lately, but when I do, it's at http://myfamilysexperiencewithautism.blogspot.com -- please come and check out our stories.

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Our kids have all kinds of special needs, mild to severe. Some of us grieve the loss of our children. We do the very best we can, which often takes a toll on us. We come here to share our feelings with other parents who understand. We're searching for every parent of a child with special needs. Welcome!