“I love my boyfriend and I’m tired of waiting for him to propose.” That sounds an awful lot like you, doesn’t it? You love the man, you’re devoted to him and he just won’t pop the question. He says he’s not ready or it’s not time yet, but you disagree. You want to get married and you’re growing tired of patiently waiting for the day when you get to sport an engagement ring and plan a wedding. How long is too long to wait and is there anything you can do to encourage him to commit sooner? You do have the power to silently persuade him to want to propose. You just need to learn how to harness that power so you can truly begin to share your life with him as husband and wife.

Understanding why he won’t propose is the key to getting a commitment from him. Men have a laundry list of excuses for why they don’t want to get married. These range from not being financially stable, to fear of losing his freedom to just being wary because his own parents divorced. Think about what you believe is causing your man to resist the idea so strongly. Once you identify what is holding him back, you can then address it.

Presenting yourself as someone who is understanding and compassionate is vitally important if you want to get your boyfriend to propose to you. Pushing him constantly for a commitment is only going to result in him pulling back even more. Instead, let him know that you love him. Drop all commitment talk from your vocabulary. If you seem less consumed by it, he’ll notice and it will put him more at ease.

Working towards getting a commitment is obviously still going to be your focus. Do this by subtly helping to relieve his anxiety about marriage. You can accomplish this by showing him certain things rather than telling him. For instance, spend more time with your female friends. This will show your man that your own friends are important to you and he’ll see that you’re not willing to forgo your freedom for marriage.

Focusing more time and energy on your career can prove very beneficial too. This will speak to the fact that you’re not about to give up your career after marriage. If a man is fearful of having to support his family and any future children, he’ll feel better knowing that she’s as committed as he is to making money.

If you confront the issues that are holding him back, he’ll eventually let those barriers down and be more open to the idea of committing. By being patient and understanding you’ll show him that you’re willing to work with him towards getting married because of how deeply you love him.