As you may already be aware, I absolutely love watching lectures, presentations and ‘Ted Talks’ online. One of the greatest benefits of living in the 21st century – as far as I’m concerned – is the ability that we are all afforded to access an unlimited wealth of knowledge and education via the internet, and that’s why I try to watch an informative video on a topic I know very little about on an almost daily basis.

Today, I came across the above short video examining the idea of retelling history through a social media interface. Looking at the Russian Revolution on a Facebook-like platform, well-known historical figures and events seem relatable and almost modern in nature; it feels as though events that occurred over around 100 years ago are as fresh and relevant as if they were occurring for the first time today.

I absolutely love this concept. In fact, the idea of ‘interactive’ history is one that I have always been a great supporter of as I find that accessing the past through modern means is not only highly innovative, but also one of the easiest ways of preserving important information and lessons for future generations who will not rely as heavily on books for education as they will on film clips and audio bytes.

With that being said, this video also prompted me to consider another question. If historical records (as they say) have always been written by the victors, then how will today’s open and free practices of sharing information online influence the way history is learned and understood by future generations?

No true victors

Up until recently, history has been taught from written records that omit anything that does not fit into the narrative victors wish to share with future generations. The result is a highly biased version of events that can vary depending on the language, country and even generation in which it is taught. American textbooks are notorious for examining the interactions between settlers and Native Americans through a rose-tinted lens, while the North Korean education system is a prime example of selective and greatly fictional accounts being used as a form of social programming and control.

Modern technology, however, looks set to put a halt to this practice. No longer can victors declare their own versions of events to be the ‘truth’ when normal, unremarkable people are able to share personal experiences freely online with the world. It’s impossible to claim that things happened in one certain way when there are videos, blog posts, photographs and even self-published novels sprawled across the web showing that account to be false. Even in the event of dictatorship rule there is absolutely no way to ensure the complete erasure of records from the internet. As we warn young men and women who may be considering sharing indecent images online, “once something is out there, it will remain on the internet (in some form) forever”.

The result of all this, of course, is that future generations will be granted something that previous generations were not: access to the complete stories. A quick search online will reveal to them thousands of different perspectives on any and every topic, written by the people who actually experienced, felt and lived them. Used correctly, this has the promise to protect and defend future generations from the serious whitewashing and censorship that has dominated the teaching of history since record began.

Immersive education

Following on from the above point, I want to stress just how much of an educational advantage today’s social media usage will have for future generations when it comes to history. While our generation attempts to incorporate history and modern technology to create a more interesting way of obtaining information than the textbooks and documentaries that schools have previously relied on, future generations will be able to access information that is entirely unedited and exactly as it was when it was first posted online.

While this is absolutely fantastic in terms of presenting truthful accounts of this era’s most pivotal defining moments, it’s even more exciting when it comes to allowing an unfiltered insight into how real people live, think and spend their time. This is something that previous generations have been chiefly unable to preserve – when we want to know what life was truly like for people living a hundred, two hundred or even a thousand years ago, we must rely on a limited number of books, diaries, films and even scientific discoveries. I have absolutely no information about my great, great, great grandmother’s life. I don’t know what her favourite past-times were, what she looked like or even how she felt about important political or moral issues taking place at that time. In comparison, future generations will have access to millions of photographs, videos, status updates and blog posts from our era and beyond. For many, they will even be able to access the online footprints of their own ancestors. This is a luxury that no previous generation will ever have experienced.

Certain drawbacks

Of course, it’s worth pointing out that there are some negative drawbacks to the historical legacy that the internet will allow this generation to leave behind. While social media and content sharing sites have allowed us to document every important detail in our lives and create a running narrative of each vital event that occurs during our lives, they have also presented us with an opportunity to upload and share things that will no doubt prove problematic in the future.

Take, for example, the current culture of posting nude images or offensive content online. Our descendants will be the first generations to ever fear stumbling across pictures of their grandparents’ bodies online or to watch their ancestors ranting in videos about how immigrants or homosexuals are destroying the sanctity of their country – an issue that will no doubt become obsolete as the internet and changing attitudes lead to a more open and free society than the one we currently live in.

In conclusion

Ultimately, if we are to disregard for a moment the multiple issues that will no doubt emerge as a result of modern internet usage, then I must reinforce my belief that our online actions will become a defining and liberating legacy for future generations. Our descendants will have raw, unfiltered and unlimited access to endless accounts of historical events in a way that no previous generation has ever had. They will no longer need to rely on heavily edited and biased retellings of history in school textbooks or grainy old documentaries. Instead, they will always be a simple online search away from millions of status updates, blog posts, recorded videos and even podcasts detailing millions of different perspectives on any potential topic. This will present them with the opportunity to become the most educated, aware and free-thinking generation ever to exist, and I personally think that that is worth the risk of accidentally discovering that great granny Sue liked to post pictures in her underwear online for attention.

What do you think about modern technology and its impact on future generations? Are you excited about being a part of interactive history, or do you think our online actions will cause problems for our descendants? Let me know by commenting below, or get in touch on Twitter: @naturalcait!

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/09/03/shaping-history-how-our-online-behaviours-will-impact-future-generations/feed/1153The problem with Facebook…http://naturalcait.com/2018/08/31/the-problem-with-facebook/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/08/31/the-problem-with-facebook/#respondFri, 31 Aug 2018 18:04:54 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=150Living in an age when anyone can open a free blog and share their thoughts with the internet, trying to stand out can be incredibly difficult. No matter what your blog’s ‘niche’ or theme may be, it’s almost guaranteed that there will already be several bloggers already established and achieving what you’ve set out to do. For some people, this really isn’t a problem – many bloggers do so simply as a way to practice their writing or kill time, and when you’re not really intending to take your blog too seriously, competition isn’t something worth worrying about. For those of us who hope to build up a serious blog that can be used at some point as a source of income, however, the thousands of other bloggers writing on similar topics as ourselves can be a near-constant frustration. For someone just starting out in the blogosphere, the idea of becoming a popular blogger with a loyal audience can feel highly daunting, if not entirely impossible.

Of course, making a name for yourself in the blogging world isn’t difficult enough to stop many successful writers from earning a living online and I often like to turn to these bloggers for advice and information on how I can follow in their footsteps. Some tips could easily be considered ‘common sense’ such as frequent posting, interacting with your readers and getting involved with other writers. Other hints, like creating video content or writing for publications such as magazines can be slightly more complex and require a bit more planning and dedication.

One of the most common steps that bloggers take to develop their standing online, however, is one that I currently refuse to take. While I’m more than happy to use Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin’ as a way to expand my readership, you will potentially never find me incorporating Facebook into my methods of blog promotion and this is why:

The ‘viral’ lottery

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed when it comes to other bloggers starting blog-related Facebook pages, it’s their struggles developing a base audience. While Twitter’s open sharing and hashtag-centred interface allows complete strangers to easily stumble across and access your posts and account, Facebook works mainly on the concept of recommendations and this relies on friends and friends-of-friends interacting with pages that you may also enjoy. For a page or post to become ‘viral’, one person must share it with their friends, who then (if interested) will also share it with their friends, and so on. Success relies on your readers having many friends who share their interests.

It’s for this reason that ‘mummy’ bloggers and posts do so well on Facebook – mums tend to be friends with other mums, and as being a mother is such an intrinsic part of their identities and the way they use the platform, posts are quickly shared across users who can identify with it. In contrast a post about vegan food or spirituality will only go viral if readers have large groups of vegan or spiritual friends on their own accounts (which, let me tell you, is very rarely the case!). There are a lot more mothers in the world than vegans, and with Facebook’s main target audience being quite firmly within their adult years, it’s highly understandable that posts about child-rearing will be much more successful than cauliflower steak recipes.

Incorporating the IRL

When you start an account on Twitter, it’s pretty easy to build an audience – you simply need to search for other users with similar interests, follow them, and then hope that they’ll follow you back. You can easily reach out to strangers who use hashtags that you find interesting, and conversation can flow easily in response to shared viral posts or topics.

In contrast, starting a blog-related page on Facebook means that you need to find an audience through the site’s friends-of-friends conceptual interface. Sure, you may be lucky and some of your blog readers may give you a helpful ‘like’, but if your Facebook page is only going to be seen by people who are already loyal to your blog then you’ll never increase your readership. Instead, many bloggers resort to inviting real-life friends and family members to view their new page and hope that they’ll not only like it, but also share it with their own friends. This is the best way to use Facebook, but if your blog is one filled with your personal thoughts, feelings and experiences then perhaps you don’t want people who know you in real life to read it. If this is the case, then chances of your page becoming successful are close to zero.

The privacy problem

One of my main reasons for avoiding Facebook when it comes to my blog is the fact that I genuinely quite dislike the site as a social media platform. While I do have my own personal account, I barely use it other than for communicating with friends and family who don’t have one of my preferred messaging apps (such as LINE) or an Instagram account. I generally avoid posting anything on my wall, and my usage pretty much extends to tagging my best friend and mother in dog photos and memes.

Multiple discoveries over the years related to Facebook’s way of handling personal data have made me highly uncomfortable with using the site, while revelations around the app’s ability to monitor your conversations and online searches in order to provide related advertisements have soured my ability to trust Facebook as a whole. As a result, I keep my usage to a complete limit and don’t even use my real name on the site.

If you’re a blogger who happily (and successfully) uses Facebook as a way of developing an audience for your posts, then you have my respect; the way that the site operates makes it a very difficult platform to master if you share anything other than dog pictures or memes. With that being said, no matter how positive another blogger’s experience of using Facebook may be, I doubt that I’ll ever feel comfortable using it for myself. I’m constantly about one privacy breach away from deleting my own personal account on the site, so opening a public blog-related page just doesn’t make sense to me.

With that said, if you’re someone who has attempted to use Facebook for your blog or business (successfully or otherwise) then I would love to hear from you – feel free to comment below, or get in touch on Twitter: @naturalcait!

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/08/31/the-problem-with-facebook/feed/0150A few changes: an update on my lifehttp://naturalcait.com/2018/08/28/a-few-changes-an-update-on-my-life/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/08/28/a-few-changes-an-update-on-my-life/#respondTue, 28 Aug 2018 18:03:38 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=147If you’re a frequent visitor to this blog or you follow me on Twitter, then you may have noticed that I was undeniably quiet during the month of August. I would love to say that my absence was a deliberate one (some form of digital detox, perhaps), or the natural result of spending some time re-evaluating and on a path of self discovery. Sadly, the truth is much less admirable and interesting than that.

In reality, I’ve spent most of the past month feeling somewhat swamped and overwhelmed by everything that I’ve got going on in my life. There are a lot of big changes happening and coming up for me, and coming to terms with them while working 30+ hours a week at my job during the busy season meant that my blogging, social media usage and studying had to take a bit of a back seat.

When I take a break from writing, I always find it a bit difficult to re-enter the zone and start publishing new posts. So, to give myself a chance to get back into the swing of things, I thought I would share a little life update and tell you all what you can expect from me in the next few weeks and months.

Big moves

If you follow me on Twitter, then you’ll know that the most exciting and pressing change occurring in my life is my upcoming move to Japan. As of October, I’m going to be studying at a language school in Tokyo for an academic year.

I’ve never lived anywhere but Scotland, so this is a pretty big deal to me. The last time I left my hometown, it was to move to University around two hours away. Japan is, of course, a considerable distance from Scotland and (to a similar extent) all of my friends, my family, my boyfriend and my beloved dog.

The college I’ll be attending has pretty high expectations for students in regards to studying and homework, so chances are that it will take me a little while to get into the groove of classes, homework, blogging and keeping in touch with everyone back home. I know that it will pay off in the end, though – if I work hard and keep my head down, then hopefully either my blogging or my language skills will lead me to good things when college ends next summer.

Quitting my job

I’ve talked quite a bit about my retail job here on my blog and on my Twitter account, but as you might expect, I’ve had to hand in my resignation in order to move abroad and that means that for the entire month of September I’m going to be unemployed.

Part of me is really excited about spending an entire month relaxing and preparing for my big move. Not working gives me more time to see my family and friends, and it also means that I have very little to distract me from my blog. I’m hoping to get ahead of myself in terms of blog posts so that when I get to Japan I’ll have a few articles that I can publish while I get the hang of my new routine. I also have a few ideas for topics – I’d like to focus on more important issues and use this platform as a way to explore and display my talents in regards to writing, so expect a bit more variation than you’ve previously seen on this blog.

Unfortunately, no more job also means no more wages. It turns out that moving abroad is pretty expensive – from flights and insurance to contact lenses and appropriate clothing, my money seems to be slipping away like sand through spread fingers. A lottery win sure would come in handy any day now…

Looking to the future

Finally, it’s time for me to start thinking about what I want to achieve and who I want to be in the future. Within the next month I’ll be turning 22, and I want to use my time in Japan as an opportunity to really examine what it is that I want to do with my future, and how I want to be seen by others.

After several months working in retail, I now realise that what I really crave is a more ‘professional’ job or career. I’d love to find a role that involves either writing or using my language skills, but other than that I’m still not entirely sure what I’m looking for. So, over the next few months I plan to spend a lot of time thinking about my goals and values and looking for a job that works in line with them.

As for how I want to be seen and who I want to be, I’m going to use my time in Japan to experiment with my appearance, personality and values. From changing my hair colour to adopting a slightly different wardrobe, I want to find the look and vibe that makes me feel the most confident and comfortable with myself. So if you see me changing up my blog theme or uploading new profile pictures, that’ll probably be why.

So, there you are – a little update on what’s currently going on with my life. The past twelve months have been filled with a lot of changes and experiments (from going vegan to starting my blog) and I plan to spend the next year further developing those changes and building upon them. I’ll be nearly 23 when I return from Japan, so I’d like to have a better idea of exactly who and what I want to be by then.

If you’re interested in following my adventures in Japan or want to read more about what’s going on in my life, then please feel free to subscribe, follow or like my blog on WordPress, email or Bloglovin’ (you can find the link listed on the sidebar at the right!). Alternatively, you can always get in touch with me via Twitter: @naturalcait!

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/08/28/a-few-changes-an-update-on-my-life/feed/0147Intuition and anxiety: why you should be listening to your bodyhttp://naturalcait.com/2018/08/02/intuition-and-anxiety-why-you-should-be-listening-to-your-body/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/08/02/intuition-and-anxiety-why-you-should-be-listening-to-your-body/#commentsThu, 02 Aug 2018 17:59:54 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=140The last post I shared on this blog was about toxic people and the steps that you can take to fully free yourself from their control. As part of that post I described some of the behaviours that might qualify someone as being toxic, such as lying, stealing, dramatic behaviour and rumour-spreading. While these are clear signs of toxicity and narcissism, they are also actions that really only become evident once a toxic person has already befriended you or infiltrated your life and by that point, they will already be exerting some control over you. If you’re realising that someone close to you is displaying classic toxic behaviours, then they’re already too close to you. When it comes to inviting a toxic person into your life, prevention really is much easier and preferable to the cure.

You might think that it’s impossible to tell that someone is ‘toxic’ before you can really get to know them. Unfavourable habits and negative personality traits usually reveal themselves gradually, becoming more obvious as the relationship between you and the person develops and deepens. This is generally true. Most negative behaviour takes a while to come to the surface and by that point your connection to a toxic person has already been established (as has their control over you). Despite this, there is in fact a way to potentially identify a negative force before you allow it into your life. For some people, all it takes is a glance to know that someone is not a person that you want to get to know. All it takes is a helpful nudge from your ‘intuition’.

Gut-feelings as a concept

We all have experience regarding intuition (or ‘gut-feelings’, as it is more commonly known). Your intuition is a sense or feeling that takes over when you are faced with someone or something unknown and tells you whether or not you are in danger. You may not even always notice it, yet your intuition is always there in at least some sense. For some people, a strong wave of fear or disgust may strike them upon meeting someone that could turn out to be toxic or dangerous. For others, intuition can take the form of a general sense of disease, telling them to be cautious or wary. On the opposite end of the spectrum, your intuition can also advise you that a person or thing is positive and good – if you’ve ever met someone and instantly felt at ease around them, then your intuition is responsible.

There are many different theories regarding the origin, cause and need for intuition. Some believe it to be a residual response from humanity’s past, when being able to identify danger was a crucial life-or-death skill for our ancestors. Others believe that intuition is simply the result of your subconscious mind picking up on minuscule little clues and signals that you wouldn’t consciously notice, such as the way a person looks at you or their general demeanour. Regardless of why our intuition exists, it most definitely is a valuable feature of the human experience. Multiple books, talks and documentaries have discussed intuition, and it is generally regarded as something worth listening to.

Intuition or anxiety?

With the being said, our intuitions are not always correct and can be influenced by a great many factors. If you’ve been a victim of abuse in the past, then as a result your intuition may warn you about anyone who happens to resemble your abuser, regardless of how subtle the resemblance may be. Similarly, if you have had a negative experience in a certain place, or in a specific situation, then that will also result in a biased response from your intuition, warning you not to go near similar places or enter similar situations again.

One of the most obvious forces that can influence your ability to trust your intuition is anxiety. If you suffer from anxiety, then your brain spends a significant amount of time throwing your body into ‘fight-or-flight’ mode – the mode that kicks in when we are faced with danger, allowing us to quickly decide either to defend ourselves or to just run away from the situation entirely. Symptoms of being in this mode include heightened senses, a rush of adrenaline, and a reduced ability to rationalise your thoughts. If you experience anxiety then your body will be constantly warning you about situations, people and places, which means that when your intuition does strike, you won’t have a clue whether there’s something serious that you need to be aware of or if your body is just returning to ‘danger’ mode. If someone with anxiety was to believe they were in danger every time their adrenaline started pumping, then they would begin to feel that even leaving the house would result in disaster – unfortunately, this is the case for many people, and it can cause severe and life-limiting results.

Is intuition reliable?

Whenever someone commits a serious crime, you can almost guarantee that a neighbour/colleague/the local postman will suddenly announce that they had ‘always had a bad feeling’ about the criminal in question. As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20 and it’s easy to think back and identify warning signs after you know what someone is capable of. Many people will proudly profess the their intuition is always right, and perhaps some of them are telling the truth. Others, however, claim that they ‘knew all along’ because believing that you had a criminal identified from day one is much easier to live with than the knowledge that you were taken by complete surprise when the truth came out.

Is intuition 100% reliable? No, it’s not. If it was, then it would be perfectly acceptable to jail people purely on the basis of one person saying ‘I just know it was them’, even in the absence of evidence. This does not mean, however, that your intuition should be entirely disregarded. Instead, you should train yourself to identify when your intuition is warning you about a certain person or situation and include it in your decision whether or not to proceed with a relationship, action or idea. As I said previously, many people believe that your intuition is the result of your subconscious mind picking up on minute signals and unnoticed behaviours. Your body is collecting evidence and information to help you stay informed and ahead of any potential dangers. You owe it to yourself to consider what your mind is telling you and to proceed accordingly.

After all, every single one of us has once been in a situation that just felt ‘wrong’ or ‘uncomfortable’. Some people have learned the hard way that they should have listened to what their body was telling them, while others have followed their intuition and later learned that by doing so, they managed to avoid danger – whether that danger was something physical, such as an attack, or even just a bad business move that would have left them bankrupt.

Something to keep in mind

If you meet or come across a person who causes your intuition to strike or makes you feel scared, uncomfortable or repulsed, then you should never ignore that. You may not understand why you feel the way you do, but your mind/body has picked up on a vibration or a signal that has raised the alarm and its important for you to acknowledge that. If possible, remove yourself from the situation until you can ascertain whether or not the person may be a threat, and never allow yourself to be left alone or unattended around them. They may be entirely harmless or they could be someone that you really do not want to get involved with. If you are in any way vulnerable, then listening to your intuition is extremely important.

Sometimes (and especially in the case of those suffering from anxiety), it’s important to remove yourself from a situation in order to fully assess what caused you to have such a reaction. Confiding in a trustworthy friend or writing down a list of possible outcomes may help you to decide whether or not you need to stay away. If a person is worth knowing, then they will understand that your anxiety makes meeting new people difficult and give you the time that you need. Never allow anyone to pressure you into something that you have a bad feeling about.

Has your intuition ever stopped you from doing something dangerous? Let me know about your experiences in the comments, or reach out to me on Twitter (@naturalcait)!

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/08/02/intuition-and-anxiety-why-you-should-be-listening-to-your-body/feed/1140Toxic people, and how to escape themhttp://naturalcait.com/2018/07/31/toxic-people-and-how-to-escape-them/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/07/31/toxic-people-and-how-to-escape-them/#commentsTue, 31 Jul 2018 12:34:54 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=135We all know someone who could be described as ‘toxic’. They may be someone who constantly “borrows” money with no intention of ever paying it back, or perhaps they’re absolutely lovely to your face, yet spread vicious rumours about you behind your back. Do you know someone who can’t go five minutes without lying? Maybe the ‘toxic’ person in your life is a friend who seems to consistently come off the rails, bringing you and everyone else into a dramatic mess of tears and legal issues.

What is a ‘Toxic Person’?

There are so many different ways in which a person can be considered toxic that it can actually be difficult to identify them as such. Someone who turns up on your doorstep once a week asking for twenty quid to help them feed their kids/ get to work/ pay their electricity bill may seem relatively harmless when compared to a friend who takes class A drugs and never seems to be out of jail, yet they are both toxic and have a negative effect on your life.

As a general rule, if a person seems to suck the joy out of everything they touch or makes you feel anxious, upset or angry, then they are not someone that you should continue to interact or spend time with. If you’re reading this then chances are that you have already identified a toxic person you know you really ought to remove from your life, but you just don’t know how. If so, then you should take comfort in the knowledge that many people have been in your place. You are not the first person to be in your situation, nor will you be the last.

I’ve known several toxic people in my life. Some have been relatives, while others have been friends or even partners. They were all toxic in their own unique ways, yet there was one common trait that united them all: they were very difficult to get away from. A toxic person is powerless without a victim or audience, and for that reason they often react in extreme ways to the concept of losing control over you. The loss of control can lead them to respond in violent or aggressive outbursts. They may try to turn mutual friends or family members against you, or launch a vicious online campaign on social media to tarnish your reputation. Failing this, most toxic people fall back on the simplest (and most effective) way of regaining control: gaslighting. The worst people are often the most cunning, and if you give them the chance they will attempt to convince you that you’re in the wrong – you’re being overdramatic, you’re lying, or you’re mistaken. No matter what you say or what evidence you may have against them, they’ll do their best to turn it all around and distort the truth until you find yourself wondering if you’ve actually been the toxic one all along.

How can you escape them?

If you’ve fallen for the tricks before then you might feel as though there’s no way that you can ever separate yourself from a toxic person, but I can promise you that there is. As I said above, I’ve known several toxic people in my 22 years, and I can assure you that none of them have remained a part of my life. As a result, I’ve come to identify some simple steps that will help you to rid of negative people:

STEP ONE: DON’T WASTE TIME EXPLAINING
If you’re a nice person, then you’ll probably think that dropping a friend via the “ghosting” method is cruel. You might feel that you owe the toxic person an explanation – a chance to understand why you’re removing them from your life. All I can say to this is that you don’t owe them anything. Regardless of how clueless you may believe them to be, a toxic person already knows that they’re toxic. You’ll not be the first person to drop them, nor will you be the last. A certain narcissistic streak will convince them that they’re the victim and that you’re the one in the wrong, yet deep down they will know that they’re the problem.

Ever noticed that the most toxic people are the same people who share all of those “if they can’t take you at your worst…” memes on social media? Anyone who doesn’t like them is classed as a “hater”, and they’re seemingly proud of the fact that their personality is ‘bitchy’: “I tell it how it is, sorry if you’re too easily offended to cope with that”.

Don’t try to give them an explanation. You’re just wasting your own time. They’ll never see the error of their ways, and no matter what you say they’re still going to be convinced that you’re to blame for everything.

STEP TWO: BLOCK THEM
In this age of social media and online over-sharing, blocking toxic people is an absolute must. Within hours of realising that you’ve dropped them, the toxic person will take to their online accounts to post vague (or sometimes direct, depending on their personality) statuses about you. They’ll share countless quotes about moving on and leaving haters behind, and they’ll attempt to bate you into a public argument. Toxic, narcissistic people thrive on public fights and the opportunities that they present to cast themselves as victims. You’ll never win against a toxic person, so responding is utterly pointless. Instead, block them on your phone, email, social media and messaging apps. Make sure that they have absolutely no method of contacting you, and then ensure that you avoid the temptation to check on their latest posts and tweets.

STEP THREE: AVOID TALKING ABOUT THEMIf you’ve ever seen ‘The Wizard of Oz’, you’ll have an idea of what a ‘flying monkey’ is. If not, then all you really need to know is that when it comes to discussing narcissism, the term ‘flying monkey’ refers to someone (a friend, relative or otherwise) who carries out a toxic person’s bidding in order to make your life an absolute hell. They’ll spread lies about you, monitor your social media, and most likely attempt to get you in a conversation about the toxic person that you’ve removed from your life. The aim of this is to gather evidence of you talking badly about the toxic person, which can then be used as fuel for a fire of public fights, online bitching and various other attacks against you.

The best way to avoid falling for this trap is to make sure not to talk to anyone about the toxic person you’ve left behind. Don’t badmouth them, insult them, or spread rumours about them. Don’t say anything that could potentially be used against you. Not only will this mean that you’re avoiding the chance of causing fights and arguments, but it will also have the unintended benefit of making you look much nicer and more sophisticated than the other person. If they’re constantly posting negative things about you online or talking badly about you while you refuse to say a bad word about them, then you’re going to come out looking like a much better person than them.

A word of advice

Obviously these three tips won’t help you to avoid all of the issues that toxic people can bring to your life, but they’re a good start to help you on your way to freedom from their control. Sometimes separating yourself from a toxic person’s tangled web can leave you with some emotional and psychological pain or difficulties, in which case it’s always a good idea to confide in someone that you can trust, or even to talk with a professional therapist or counsellor. Going over your experience with someone impartial who has nothing to do with the situation can really help to reinforce that you’ve done the right thing, as well as eradicate any residual guilt that the toxic person has persuaded you to feel.

Remember – there’s no shame in being the victim of a narcissist or toxic person. At the same time, there’s absolutely no reason to let your experience with them define you or your future. Your happiness and success lies entirely in your hands, no matter what anyone else says.

Have you ever felt the need to remove a toxic person from your life? Share your experience in the comments, or get in touch with me on Twitter (@naturalcait)!

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/07/31/toxic-people-and-how-to-escape-them/feed/1135Four things I wish I knew in High Schoolhttp://naturalcait.com/2018/07/22/four-things-i-wish-i-knew-in-high-school/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/07/22/four-things-i-wish-i-knew-in-high-school/#commentsSun, 22 Jul 2018 20:37:14 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=1305 years ago this summer, I left high school to start a new chapter of my life at university. At that point, I was just sixteen years old; younger than most people in my position, yet too impatient to wait an extra year for my chance at a fresh start.

High school wasn’t easy for me. I was awkward and shy and very unhappy with how I looked. I had very few friends and when I wasn’t at school, I was at home writing fan-fiction or wasting hours upon hours on Tumblr. I felt stifled by the rigid routine of school and desperately longed for a chance to experience independence and learn something that actually interested me. I felt as though I was waiting for my life to start, when really I should have been making the most of every minute.

In an upcoming blog post, I’ll write about my experiences at university – the good, the bad, and the depressingly difficult. Today however, I’ve been prompted to reconsider my time at high school and as a result I’ve come up with a list of four things that I have come to realise about it. It’s too late for me to do anything to change them, yet perhaps they might help some of my readers who are currently still in school.

So, without further ado:

I should have studied moreWhen you’re at high school, everything seems incredibly boring and pointless. There are subjects that you love and throw yourself into, and everything else is just a pain that you must endure for 50 minutes of uninspiring class-time. You have an idea of what you want to do when you finally get out of the school system, and if it doesn’t involve nuclear physics or something of an equal nature, then sitting through classes of algebra and geometry and physics just seem like a waste of your time and attention.

Yet, here’s the thing – your high school years are the only time in your life when you will be exposed to so many different disciplines and subjects and ideas. You will never again find yourself surrounded by endless opportunities to learn and teachers desperate to help guide you and support you in your studies. Once you leave school, learning about chemistry or Spanish or geography from a knowledgable teacher will cost you money. Additionally, if you enter the world of work and discover that a background in a certain subject that you didn’t care about in school would significantly boost your career prospects, there’s very little you can do about it other than spend money and take extra time to study it, all-the-while juggling all the other important responsibilities you now have in your life.

You don’t realise how important and valuable the opportunities to learn at school really are until you’re too old to take advantage of them.

Popularity means nothing

We all know how important popularity is when it comes to the high school experience.If you were popular and had a large group of friends that constantly posted pictures together online, then it seemed as though everything was perfect for you. For the ones left on the sidelines, it was hard to cope with the idea that there might be something ‘wrong’ with you; why didn’t anyone like you, when you were just as good as all the popular people?When I left high school, this feeling of inadequacy stayed with me for a while, and I found myself allowing it to define me. I wasn’t making friends, but rather than acknowledging that that was down to my own lack of socialising and interacting with others, I told myself it was because I was destined to be unpopular. Only now, looking back, do I realise that high school popularity means absolutely nothing once you leave. No one cares how popular you were at school, as long as you’re a nice person now. I wish I had realised that earlier.

You define yourself

There’s a lot of labelling and classifying that goes on at high school. In my school, what class you were in for most subjects was directly related to what you were expected to achieve in exams, and I know that that is extremely common. The ‘smart’ kids would all be placed together in one class, while the ‘trouble’ students and the kids that teachers had lost hope for would be lumped together in another class with less taxing work and lower expectations. Once your class had been chosen for you, it felt very much as though you had absolutely no chance of getting out of it. Top class students were encouraged to strive for success. Lower class kids were seen as ‘doing well’ if they managed to show up.While I can see the idea behind this system, there is a risk of students being left behind when all they needed was encouragement and a chance to grow. Equally, it places the highest-achieving students in a competitive, stressful cycle that can lead to burn out and the crippling pressure of living up to expectations.

It’s so important to know that your class and expected grades do not define you as a person. You are just as worthy of support and encouragement as anyone else, and being a high-achiever does not mean that you have to push yourself to be better than others. Take things at your own pace, and remember that you can achieve anything you put your mind to, no matter what that may be.

Your looks will change

I was rather awkward in high school. I weighed more than a lot of the other girls, I wore shapeless anime t-shirts and I had absolutely no idea what to do in regards to hair and make-up. I was very much my raw self, but I was far from comfortable in my own body and I longed to look like the popular girls, with their long hair, high heels and mini-skirts.Five years later, I’m a completely different person. I’ve lost weight, I know how to dress myself, and I’m finally able to apply eyeliner without smearing it all down my face. Most of the people I went to school with don’t recognise me anymore, and I’m more than comfortable with the way I look and feel. If I’d known in high school that I would eventually find my own style, then perhaps I wouldn’t have been so consumed with how I looked and comparing myself to others. High school is the one time in life when your appearance should really take a back seat. You’re there to study, after all.

So, there you have it. Four things that I wish my high school self had known. If I could go back in time, there’s a lot that I would change about my time there, but the past is the past and there’s no point dwelling on it. Hopefully, if you’re still in high school, this little list will give you something to think about.

What would you tell your high school self? Leave a comment, or let me know on Twitter (@naturalcait)!

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/07/22/four-things-i-wish-i-knew-in-high-school/feed/1130[Review] Angels Can’t Swim by Alexandra McCannhttp://naturalcait.com/2018/07/09/review-angels-cant-swim-by-alexandra-mccann/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/07/09/review-angels-cant-swim-by-alexandra-mccann/#respondMon, 09 Jul 2018 16:37:22 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=121I’ve published two book reviews on this blog so far, and both of them have been of a conscious, mindful, and spiritual nature. While part of the reason for this is that both books easily blend with this blog’s theme of Buddhism, self-development and honest, conscious living, the simple fact is that the books I have so far reviewed are very much in line with the type of novels I choose to read. I very rarely find myself reading anything that isn’t to do with spirituality, development or conscious living because these are the books that I find most interesting and agreeable.

With that being said, I do occasionally find myself drawn to fictional novels of a different nature. Usually these books are classics (such as ‘Jane Eyre’) or set during significant historical events (‘A Dictionary of Mutual Understanding’), but while they may seem to be quite random in terms of genre and setting, they are all united in that they cover real, human issues that open my mind and give me new ideas and concepts to consider. I don’t enjoy reading fluffy romances where the most pressing issue a character faces is whether or not a handsome young person loves them. Instead I want a story to present characters and situations that bring out a strong emotional response from me.

A very good example of my ideal fictional story is that of ‘Angels Can’t Swim’, Alexandra McCann’s first published novella and the subject of today’s book review.

The cover of the novel | All rights belong to Alexandra McCann

The Plot

Three college juniors. A swim team. A manipulative coach. Unexpected life circumstances. A girl struggling with her sexuality. A story that you will not forget.

The above is a small section of text taken from the description of ‘Angels Can’t Swim’ on the author’s website, and it is exactly what first grabbed my interest when I was considering whether or not I wanted to read it. While team-related drama might be a popular genre of manga and anime, it’s not something that I’ve come across much in novels. In fact, a story revolving around a swim team is an entirely new concept for me. At first I was somewhat apprehensive that a story about a girl ‘struggling with her sexuality’ on a swim team might spend most of its pages detailing how women looked in their swimsuits and sharing exaggerated descriptions of the female form, but the promise of an unforgettable story convinced me that I should give the book a shot and boy, am I glad I did.

‘Angels Can’t Swim’ follows the lives of three friends who are all members of a college swim team: Jenna, Eden, and Maggie. Jenna is the team’s golden girl, constantly pushing herself in order to live up to the expectations of Coach Ted, for whom she holds a great deal of admiration and respect. Eden, an open-yet-hesitant lesbian, is struggling to keep on top of school work and swimming whilst dealing with her own demons and Maggie, a good Christian girl who had never even met a gay person until starting college, is attempting to find a happy balance between devoting herself to her religion and experiencing her first real taste of love.

Throughout the book the girls’ storylines proceed to merge and overlap, resulting in endearing moments of friendship, honesty and female solidarity as they seek to find solutions to their problems and find themselves in situations that require them to be more brave, mature and open than ever before.

The Issues

One of the most appealing aspects of this novella (other than McCann’s fantastic and fast-paced writing style) is the amount of important topics it covers. The three main characters are college-aged young women, and the problems and issues that they face are ones that many real girls their own age face every single day, yet they so often go unmentioned and lack mainstream discussion.

Eden, Maggie and Jenna are at an age when most young women are still finding their feet. While some parts of their lives and personalities are becoming a bit more established and clearer for them to understand, they still find themselves easily influenced by the words and actions of their peers, parents and people in positions of authority over them. Having gone through the college experience myself, I found it really easy to identify and sympathise with these characters. As I made my way through the book, I would find myself comparing their reactions to their situations with what I would have done at a similar point in my life, and found a great deal of similarities.

When I first started reading ‘Angels Can’t Swim’, I expected the issues it would cover to be limited to sexuality, disagreements with authority figures and the stresses of school life. Instead, Eden, Maggie and Jenna introduced me to their struggles with a range of relatable topics such as eating disorders, religious expectations, first loves, unhealthy student and mentor dynamics, sex, unrequited love and much more. The fact that Alexandra McCann is able to cover so many important topics in just 100 pages without sacrificing the quality of her story-telling or the pacing of the narrative is a testament to her natural, somewhat-enviable ability as a writer.

In Conclusion

I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect from ‘Angels Can’t Swim’. The novel was short, the author was unknown to me, and the general premise of the story was unlike anything I had read previously. Yet, once I had started to read it, I couldn’t stop. The idea of putting it down before reaching the end seemed almost unthinkable. With each passing page I felt more connected to the characters than ever, and there was a genuine sense of empathy and solidarity that pushed me to continue reading until I knew that the girls were going to find solutions to their problems and work through them to find happiness. When I reached the final page, I desperately wished that there was more to read; I longed for just one more chapter to tell me what happened after the story had ended.

I can’t recommend this novella enough, and having read it I can honestly say that I hope that Alexandra McCann goes on to write, share and publish even more books and stories. At first I found her choice of tense and writing style to be somewhat unusual in that it was different from most of the fiction novels I have read, yet after reading a few pages I came to realise that her technique was incredibly effective. The novella seems fast-paced, and her almost ‘minimalistic’ style of formatting helped to create an absorbing effect that made me feel as though I was actually sharing in the characters experiences and seeing through their eyes. The entire novella is only around 100 pages, yet nothing feels rushed and the plot is as developed and detailed as you would expect from a novel three times its length.

Whether you’re a college student, a young woman or even just someone with an interest in swimming, this novella is for you. Heck, even if you’re none of those things, I’m almost certain you’ll still enjoy it. It’s hard not to enjoy a well-written piece of work, after all.

The Bookshelf

If you’d like to give ‘Angels Can’t Swim’ a try, check out Alexandra McCann’s website for more information about the story and information on how to get your hands on a physical or digital copy. You can also find it on Amazon.

Additionally, you can keep up-to-date with everything related to the book by following Alexandra’s account on Twitter: @AngelsCantSwim

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/07/09/review-angels-cant-swim-by-alexandra-mccann/feed/0121Regarding Happinesshttp://naturalcait.com/2018/07/06/regarding-happiness/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/07/06/regarding-happiness/#commentsFri, 06 Jul 2018 19:24:51 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=118There’s something almost mythical about the concept of happiness. All our lives, and via every social media ‘influencer’, we are reminded of the importance of seeking, finding, grasping and attaining happiness. As far as anyone is concerned, happiness is always just one hurdle – one attempt at overcoming a ‘I can’t’ attitude – from filling our lives with purpose and passion. We’re all born to be happy, they tell us. All anyone apparently wants is to be happy.

Yet, despite happiness being such a supposedly integral part of the human experience, it’s nearly impossible to define exactly what it is. Sure, we all know that being happy consists of smiling, laughing, feeling positive and bouncing out of bed in the morning, but these are all reactions to already having achieved happiness. If smiling and positive thinking is the result, how do we define the cause?

It occurred to me recently that there is no ‘true’ route to happiness. If there was, then surely rates of mental illness, depression, anxiety and life-related dissatisfaction wouldn’t be reaching epidemic levels within so many cultures, age groups and societies? If achieving happiness was as simple as those fit, blonde, tanned women on Instagram keep telling us it is, then surely everyone would have attained it by now. There would be no conceivable excuse for being unhappy, because all it takes is a healthy diet, good friends and a ‘can do’ attitude to turn a frown upside down, right?

There is no universal, standard route to happiness, because there is no universal, standard way to exist. There are seven billion people in this world and they all have completely unique lives, opinions, feelings, ambitions and motivations. What might constitute happiness for a man who spends all of his time in the wild, building a cabin and enjoying nature is never going to appeal to a fifteen year old beauty queen who enjoys drinking Starbucks with her friends and getting her nails done every second Saturday at the mall. The mother who felt a desperate need to have eight children and devotes every single second of her life to raising them will no doubt struggle to comprehend the idea that another woman, of a similar age, considers her dogs to be the loves of her life and has absolutely no interest in giving up her current lifestyle for a child. Surely our own personal definitions of happiness are as unique as we all are?

Of course, there’s always the psychological, scientific side of happiness. We all crave affection and love, food, a safe environment…there are, without a doubt, multiple things that all human beings secretly desire, whether open to admitting it or otherwise. Nobody wants to be hated, or homeless, or poor or unhealthy. Nobody wants to be abused or ignored or hungry. All of us, in some way, seek love within our lives; some of us love our partners, some love friends or family, some love their pets and some even love inanimate objects such as dolls and bears, yet there is still an element of love regardless of who or what is in receipt of it.

The basic fact of the matter, however, is that even if we are healthy, well fed, safe, financially stable and in receipt of love, that still does not guarantee happiness, just as being rich, adored and living in a mansion does nothing to stop celebrities and socialites from facing depression, addiction and mental breakdowns. In this materialistic, self-centred, overly social world, the basics just aren’t enough any more. We strive for the best, but someone always has better. We reach the plate, but someone else has just managed a home run. We look good, but that pales in comparison to the girl on Instagram who looks great. If we all attempt to find happiness by following the same steps, then we’re just going to end up comparing and competing against each other.

If you’ve found happiness, then I am filled with admiration and sincere congratulations for you. You’ve taken the time to identify what it is that gives your life purpose and then you’ve set about attaining it for yourself. In today’s world, that’s no mean feat.

Saying that if, like me, you’ve tried multiple different ‘paths’ to happiness suggested by influencers online and found absolutely no success with any of it, then that’s perfectly okay too. Your ability to enjoy your life and get through whatever it is that you’ve managed to get through is no less impressive or worthy of celebration simply because someone else seems to be having a better, easier time than you. It’s okay not to be happy all of the time. It’s okay to have days when you want to stay in bed and eat junk food and just forget about everything. If that makes you feel better about whatever you’re experiencing, then that’s perfectly valid. In a way, feeling better is a form of happiness, too.

I strongly believe that everyone eventually finds their own unique route to happiness, thanks in part to the beauty of how completely undefinable happiness truly is. When you stop measuring your own experience against everyone else’s, you find that happiness can be whatever you want it to be and when we set our own perimeters, we become the pioneers of our own pathways to success.

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/07/06/regarding-happiness/feed/2118[Review] The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharmahttp://naturalcait.com/2018/06/26/review-the-monk-who-sold-his-ferrari-by-robin-sharma/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/06/26/review-the-monk-who-sold-his-ferrari-by-robin-sharma/#commentsTue, 26 Jun 2018 17:51:56 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=113The last book review that I shared on this blog was for the Dalai Lama’s ‘A Call For Revolution’, a tiny little book that made a great and lasting impression on me. Today I’m sharing my review of Robin Sharma’s ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’, which also left an impression on me – just not a positive one.

Here’s the thing – this is an incredibly popular book. Over 6 million copies of ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ have been sold, and it has been so positively received by readers that the author, Robin Sharma, has gone on to write a further five books based on the wisdom shared within it. Reviews online claim that Sharma’s novel changed their life, taught them many important things and inspired them to become a better person. Robin Sharma himself is one of the most popular personal development writers and speakers in the modern world, and his works have been translated into around 70 languages (according to the little biography printed on the back cover of ‘The Monk…’, at least).

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari – Cover | Amazon.co.uk

My expectations

Based on all of this success and positive feedback, I had really high hopes for this book. Reading the blurb, I expected that it would follow the story of Julian Mantle, a big shot lawyer who gives up all of his material possessions and disappears into the Himalayas to learn the wisdom of the ages. Instead, this book is instead presented in the form of one very long conversation between a freshly-awakened Julian and one of his old colleagues from New York, with all of his new found wisdom squeezed in wherever it might fit.

Now, don’t get me wrong – there is indeed quite a lot of good wisdom in this book in regards to personal development and living a happier and more balanced life. The issue lies entirely in the way that this wisdom is shared, as well as the general quality of Sharma’s narrative.

A rather shaky plot

Let’s quickly discuss the way that Julian acquires his wisdom: having suffered a heart attack, he sells all of his things (including his beloved Ferrari, which is referred to multiple times in the book as though giving up a shiny red car is the ultimate symbol of sacrifice in today’s materialistic world) and just disappears off to the Himalayas, where he meets an English speaking man who tells him that there is a group of really wise people living high up in the mountains. Many have apparently went searching for these people, but no-one has ever found them. Of course, Julian the big shot lawyer instantly takes off up the mountains to find the mysterious mountain colony, despite having absolutely none of the equipment or resources that such a task would require.

In a miracle straight out of the pages of a poorly-written piece of fiction, Julian just so happens to be the very first person to ever find these wise folks, and luckily they just so happen to all speak perfect English. He then goes on to live with these people for around two years, absorbing their English-based knowledge without a single concern regarding altitude sickness or overstaying his visa (just saying).

Officially ‘woke’, Julian then returns to the west with the simple ambition of sharing all that he has learned within two years of living with wise sages with the materialistic, selfish people of New York. The best way to do this, he feels, is via one incredibly long conversation with a lawyer that he used to mentor. Thus lies the premise of this book: lots of information shared so rapidly and in such a muddled manner that Sharma has in fact felt the need to put a rather useless ‘summary of wisdom’ at the end of each chapter.

Lacking in structure

Idea after idea is thrown out during the conversation between Julian and his colleague, interspersed with cringeworthy moments of rolling about the floor laughing at extremely unfunny jokes and reminders that the colleague is just a simple lawyer with kids and some weight to lose. It’s as if Sharma has sat and tried to imagine the most unenlightened, materialistic, selfish and lazy person in the world, and come to the conclusion that a fat, rich lawyer is the answer. I did not relate with these characters at all – in fact, I disliked them so much that I struggled to even get through the first few chapters.

It wasn’t just the characters that made reading this book such a mind-numbing experience, however. The actual quality of the narrative was so poor that it read like a young teen’s first fan fiction. Take, for example, this very early ‘awakening experience’:

“He started to pour [tea] into my waiting cup. He poured until the cup was full – but then he kept on pouring! Tea started to trickle down the sides of the cup…At first I watched silently. Then I couldn’t take it any more.

“Julian, what are you doing? My cup is overflowing. No matter how hard you try, no more will go in!” I yelled impatiently.

He looked at me for a long moment. “Please don’t take this the wrong way. I really respect you, John. I always have. However, just like this cup, you seem to be full of your own ideas. And how can any more go in…until you first empty your cup?”

I was struck by the truth of his words.”

Deep, right? This (abridged) example, from page 41, sets the tone for what is to be a rather underwhelming book. Whenever Julian shares even the most basic idea, John (his colleague) reacts as though he has been taught the meaning of life, gasping and reminding us all that he, a simple fat lawyer with kids and a very very busy schedule, both understands and realises the importance of what is being said. Then, a lawyer joke will be shared and everyone will start giggling.

As I said before, there is definitely some good information and advice in this book – perhaps Robin Sharma does deserve all of the praise that he has received for this series. Despite this, it does feel as though this book was written by someone with lots to share and absolutely no idea how to share it. The advice is thrown at the reader at such a rapid pace that it’s almost impossible to absorb and comprehend it all – I’d read something, think ‘yes, good idea’, and then instantly move onto the new information, forgetting everything that I had just read. There was no decent structure to this novel. Just fact after fact with a very vague summary after each busy chapter.

Final remarks

If you’re looking for some new ideas on how to live a happier, more fulfilling life yet struggle to read standard self-help and personal development books, then perhaps you might gain something from ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’. After all, if six million copies have been sold, then it must have resonated with someone. For me, however, this is just a lot of basic psychological life hacks thrown into a very unexciting fictional narrative. I had great expectations, but it turned out this was a book that I would struggle to even finish.

Want to see for yourself?

Title: The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

Author: Robin Sharma

Publisher: Thorsons (Harper Collins Publishers)

Date: 2015

ISBN: 9780007179732

]]>http://naturalcait.com/2018/06/26/review-the-monk-who-sold-his-ferrari-by-robin-sharma/feed/1113An Ode to Humilityhttp://naturalcait.com/2018/06/24/an-ode-to-humility/
http://naturalcait.com/2018/06/24/an-ode-to-humility/#commentsSun, 24 Jun 2018 21:06:09 +0000http://naturalcait.com/?p=108I feel as though a great many of my posts here on this blog are based upon my experiences of working in a retail environment, but I don’t suppose there’s anything wrong with that. After all, they say that the key to producing good content is to work with what you know, and as my job takes up a significant portion of my waking hours it certainly provides me with more than enough inspiration and material. Working in a shop, I serve all sorts of customers every single day. Some customers are cheerful and great fun to serve. Some are always in a rush and zoom in and out of the shop as though the fate of the world rests upon their ability to purchase an item in less than four minutes. Other customers (the inspiration for today’s post) enter the shop and instantly seem to find fault in whatever their eyes land upon, whether that be the layout, the products or – unfortunately – me.

Have you ever come across a person whose very facial expression has left you feeling small and inadequate? Someone who comes across as so judgemental and self-assured that you instantly go on the defence? Maybe it’s the haughty air with which they walk, or the way their nose seems to curl up at the very sight of you. Whatever it is, chances are that you know exactly who I’m talking about.

As I wrote in a previous post about career snobbery, there are many people who make no secret of their distaste for ‘lowly’ retail workers. They appear to take pride in their ability to talk down to complete strangers and degrade them simply because their job, looks or age don’t reach the expectations and standards that they have declared ‘acceptable’ within their own minds. Perhaps these people are financially well-off, at a mature age or in a high-powered job; whatever it may be, there is some part of their life that they feel allows them to make judgements about others and act accordingly.

This is not just something I’ve experienced at work, however. Even within the blogging community, there are people with highly successful, financially-rewarding blogs and websites who choose to interact solely with other bloggers who are at their ‘level’, and ignore or patronise those of us who are yet to reach triple digit viewing statistics on a daily basis. In fact, thinking of the world as a whole, I believe it’s safe to say that ‘snobs’ and ‘superiors’ exist in every facet of life. No matter who you are or what you achieve, there will always be someone who has achieved more than you, or who feels that you are inferior to them. Someone, somewhere, will always be looking down on you.

I am reminded on a daily basis of the power of (and need for) humility. When our own inflated sense of ego and self-worth leads us to treating others in a way that is not equal to the manner in which we would want to be treated, there is a great disconnect occurring that only humility can repair. No matter how much we achieve in our lives, we must remain humble. To lack this trait is to become someone who seeks division and hierarchy – two things that stand in the way of equality and harmony.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much money you have made; someone will always have made more, and if somehow you have become the richest person in the world and there truthfully is no-one with more money than you, then I can guarantee you that there will still be someone with more friends, a nicer house, a prettier face, a more pleasant voice, a fitter body, a higher level of education, better mental health, a happier marriage, better health…no matter what it is, there will be someone who has something that you are lacking.

Think back to your time at school. Perhaps you were the best in the class at mathematics, or English or maybe even French. Was there not another subject that you were average at, like woodwork or physical education? Maybe you went on to obtain a degree in something very technical and impressive, like biochemical engineering or quantum physics, yet chances are that if tomorrow your heart stopped beating or your roof caved in, you would require the services of someone with skills that you do not possess. Is your existence more valuable than that of a nurse, just because you run a multi-million dollar business? Does your ability to explain the intricate workings of a rocket make you more intelligent or important than someone who has dedicated their time to charity work or caring for a relative?

The answer, in case you haven’t realised, is no. For this world to run and develop in the way that it does, the individual skills, abilities and contributions of all seven billion inhabitants is required. Yes, we need doctors and scientists and CEOs, but those doctors would be unable to do their good work without the medical equipment made by factory workers or the hospitals built by construction workers. Science would fail to advance without poor volunteers offering to take part in trials to make a quick twenty bucks, or the high school teachers encouraging their students to go into STEM careers. A CEO would not have made nearly as much money without the employees who sell their products, run their stores or answer their company’s telephones.

You are no better than anyone else in this world. You are not more important, valuable or interesting than any of the people you meet as you go about your daily business. Yet, just as importantly, you must remember that there is not a single person who is better than you. We are all equal, and we all contribute to the world in our own small way.

Keep that in mind next time you find yourself looking down on a barista that can’t seem to make a coffee to save themselves, or the intern in your office who doesn’t have a clue what they’re talking about yet keeps trying to interact with you. Maybe you think that you’re more important than them, but nobody else in this world agrees with you.