Every night I come home (around 5.30pm) I check the forum. You know I
miss it that you can talk during the day and then when I come home you
are all in bed and I miss you.

My Doctor is still at her tricks re.the prescription for the DHC (pain
killers). Jim rang yesterday and she was off ill (forgive me, but I
actually hoped she was in pain herself). We couldn't get the
pescription. Today she left work at lunch-time and again did not leave
a prescription. Jim finally got it sorted tonight and I went to bed
(it's my birthday) and cried my eyes out. Today I really do think that
if it wasn't for Jim I could just take the whole bottle of tablets and
go to sleep. All the pain would be over. Just typing that sounds so
nice. I'm feeling very sorry for myself and I'm letting the pain beat
me but I can't help it.

Anyway, I don't know if it was a sign or not, but Dr Wiseman came back
to me today with the names of Doctors in the United Kingdom. Thank you
so much Dr Wiseman. I'll try to contact them tomorrow and will also try
to find a new G.P.

I'm going to tell you a prayer which was my mum's favourite, you will
probably know it

FOOTPRINTS

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach
with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each
scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to
him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at
the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one
set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me
all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times
in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why
when I needed you most you would leave me"

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see
only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you"

The prayer helps a little although at the moment I don't feel like I'm
being carried.