What if Ranma had to pick a career for career day on his school and did not want to do martial arts instructor? This is my take upon this all as he explores a new career. Instead of hero, a villainous career is for him... R&R please

Disclaimer: i don't own Ranma ½, nor do i own anything else, but the characters that I make up.

Crime doesn't create problems, it's the good people that are the problem

As his eyes opened, he could not remember the way that he had gone to bed, only noticing the sprawled female body that was quite annoying to him, as it groaned softly and muttered something about teddy bears, his full consciousness returning after seeing the body.

"Aracha?" he said, his voice voicing his confusion as her eyes opened softly and she sighed, coming to consciousness too, without a really caring. "You were so nice last night, Ranma. I don't think I'll need to teach you about being gentle with a woman, you seem able to hold your own…" a saucy grin came to her face as she saw him turn red around the cheeks, planning on teasing him a bit more. "If you want to, we can do those suggestions of yours later… but first, I need a shower."

Ranma looked at her departing, the way that her hips seemed to move being hypnotizing, the way that the door slid shut without a sound making him be disturbed in his thought processes. What did we do?

Aracha grinned as she walked towards her own quarters, it just being too much fun to wake him up in weird manners every day, Japanese were so shy in their own way, merely laying herself in a suggestive pose making them all weak in the mind, and she had been able to make him all flustered by the mere suggestion, something which was pretty cool, she had to admit that to herself. As she walked into the shower, she yawned, having wanted to get a bit more sleep in, but damned her own sleeping disorders.

Ranma desperately tried to recall last night, not coming up with anything but a blank as he looked at his own private shower, stepping inside and putting on the hot water, feeling it go over his skin as he smiled softly to himself. Whatever the result, it wouldn't disturb the relationship they had, as it was purely business. The time for action was now, as the money was in the vault, the first payment to their employees having been done by now and it all should run smoothly if they got a few more villains to act as support.

As one could not simply put an ad in the paper about it, Ranma decided to just go and see whether there were other villains out there in the city, R being a technical genius, who'd been attracted by the organization apparently because they had the gall to post something in the paper, since not many organizations did something like that. There'd be someone who could cook decently, right?

He wandered through the city, occasionally getting a greeting from a random passerby, as he wore his normal apparel, the red shirt and black pants being iconographic for him as he strolled leisurely through the district, the feelings that were going through his body being confusing to him.

He almost got hit by the umbrella if he hadn't dodged it at the last possible second, staring at the lost boy as he spouted off that he had seen hell. The poor sod didn't even really know what he was saying, he probably just recited old stuff off a list in his head or something. "Hey, watch it with the umbrella, you could hurt people that don't want to get hurt." He shouted, looking at the lost boy and dodging another swing of the umbrella. "Keep it down, please, it's getting annoying." He shouted after another swing was dodged deftly by sidestepping.

"Because of you, I have seen hell!" Ranma glared at Ryouga, his eyes showing their ill intent as he began to get fed up. "Why don't you SHUT THE FUCK UP! I've HAD it with all the attacking and the shouting of you having seen hell! You've never tasted Akane's toxic waste, nor have you even TRIED to listen to my side of the story. For all I care, you can DIE!" Ranma's hands charged with energy, as he unleashed a punch to the midsection of the lost boy, sending the lost boy gasping for breath. "I AM FED UP WITH ALL THIS SHIT! IF YOU WANT AKANE, GO SCREW HER!" he was breathing heavily as he looked around, seeing nobody in the surrounding area that might pose a threat, nor was there any civilian still left around. "Do you know what hurts the most, Ryouga?"

Ryouga coughed softly, trying to regain his breathing. "What?" he managed to say, Ranma's eyes narrowing. "I once considered you to be one of my best friends, back when we were still in that school. You were the one that could keep me on my toes…" for a moment, Ryouga stilled, his eyes widening slightly as a dark red aura sprang up around Ranma, recognizing it for pure rage. "What are you going to do to me now?" he asked, Ranma grinning in a dark manner. "I'm going to make you regret attacking me today." With that, he strolled away, leaving the lost boy to his thoughts.

With the snap of his finger, his aura blazed outwards, his hatred and inner darkness snapping to the fore as he turned around, gathering it within his hands until it was a small compacted ball of pure darkness. He looked at Ryouga, his eyes alight with malicious glee, an ethereal overlay of the strange creature within him, as he let out a chittering laugh, almost like he were insane. A punch to his midsection waylayed him for a moment, as he let go of the ball of darkness, it hitting the ground with concussive force, his gaze directed sidewards towards what had hit him in the side, a somewhat furious Akane standing there. "RANMA NO BAKA!"

His eye twitched, as he looked at her, a hunger coming over him all of a sudden, as he disappeared, his speed making it look like he had teleported, standing behind Akane and hitting her on the back of the head. Ryouga looked at the crumpled form of Akane, then at Ranma. "You're not him! Ranma would never do such a thing to Akane, it's unthinkable."

Ranma's head did a 360 degree twist, before returning to its original setting, further convincing that Ranma wasn't what he appeared to be, Ranma's consciousness snapping to the fore, seeing Akane and scratching the back of his head. He had no idea how the bitch had gotten here, but neither did he care enough to wonder why. He walked away, feeling strangely empty, leaving Ryouga to stand there, before realizing that Akane might need help, cradling her and then trying to find the Tendo Dojo.

Whatever had happened had hurt his neck quite a bit, it felt sore and bruised to his hands as he gently probed the skin, walking through Nerima undisturbed this time, the devastation of the energy that he had summoned being gone from his mind. He wondered how R would be making the traps, since there was little to work with. He turned back on his heel, ready to go to his lair again, when he heard a strange sound in an alley.

Walking into said alley, he discovered a woman with a pale visage looking at him like he were someone that would be better off worshipped. "You hit the awful cook." It was more a statement then anything else, but he nodded. "Seems like I did."

"My name is Hitomi, Hironagi Hitomi, at your service. Would you perhaps know of that organization that was busted a few days ago? It was called Arachnea. I dialed their number, but couldn't get anyone to answer it, so, if you know anything about it, please let me know. Anything to get away from that girl." Ranma blinked at the words that came out of Hitomi's mouth, knowing that once someone had the unfortunate encounter with Akane, they always bore the mental scars.

"I see you've met Akane…" he said, looking her over a few times, to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. She wore a black outfit with a miniskirt, possibly to look somewhat proper, or to disguise her from the girl. "She's a horror in the kitchen. Please, tell me that you'll take me somewhere where she isn't!" ranma rubbed the back of his head as he looked at her and then nodded. "Did she have cooking lessons from you?"

"I won the national cooking price three times in a row, so I when I was asked to teach a girl to cook, I said why not, but then… she came." The cook spoke with a shiver in her voice as she recalled that particular moment, where she had finally realized that Akane was nothing but a humanoid mould for the worst cook in existence, a blemish upon anything affiliated with cooking.

"Why don't you follow me, and I'll get us a nice cup of tea or something else, while we discuss business, along with my… fiancé." The last part was spoken softly and he brushed a strand of hair out of his face, looking at her, before extending a hand. "Accept my condolences for your lost kitchen, I know how she gets at times."

"You're Ranma-kun?" she muttered as he nodded. "I feel for you, I really feel for you." Ranma nodded, pulling her along softly by the hand, leading her back to the lair. Once they stood in the ramshackle building, Ranma pressed the button for the elevator, Ichiro stepping out and letting them pass by. "I'll just be out for a few moments boss, I got a scheme I've been wanting to pull on the car industry, to see whether we'd be able to get some funds out of them." With that, the man departed to locations unknown, Ranma blinking for a moment as he led her into the elevator, pressing the number that led to the conference room, the elevator giving a little ping as it reached its destination, the look of the room being redone apparently as R stood there, giving orders to one of the grunts, who was holding what appeared to be a machine gun, though where it had originated from, Ranma had no idea. "Ahh, her lady Aracha told me that you might be around. I'm currently busy with constructing some surveillance traps, to make sure that it's all secure. Inside the elevator, we've established a hidden camera, which will then trigger a remote alert to the security room, where we'll be able to activate a trap at a moment's notice."

The scientist waved at the minion, who almost dropped the machine gun. "Don't drop that. Just hang it there and I'll handle the mechanical bits, attaching it to the wires." "You've brought a tasty morsel this time, Ranma." The voice of Aracha came from behind him, and he turned around to look at Aracha, who was dressed in her usual outfit, a small smile playing at her lips. "It's been a while, but still, you need to get dressed. Your minions have already seen it fit to go extort the machine industry for more money, and we'll need it if we're going to set up a good business. Soon enough, you'll be able to move out of this petty little district and make some big money."

"Hello, my name is Hitomi, and what is your name?" Hitomi asked the woman, who blinked momentarily. "Aracha. Aren't you impressed by my outfit or something?" Aracha was momentarily overcome by the strange urge to just grab the other woman and beat her to the ground, Ranma merely looking at them, as a strange look passed over his face. "Well, it does look rather impressive, as well as skin-tight, so I guess you're one of the martial disciplines, am I right? Ranma-san was leading me towards this room with the promise of some good tea, but I guess that with you in the room, along with the entire base theme that you've got going on, that you're both members of Arachnea and wanting me to join your organization, am I right?"

Ranma nodded. "Yep, we kind of need a cook, since Aracha doesn't really want to cook, and I'm as bad as any man at it, so if you'd be so friendly as to sign up with us, we'll be able to get whatever you want to." Hitomi nodded, looking at the layout of the room. "Any kitchen available for me to orient myself in? I'll whip up something real quick, to give you a display of the skills I have."

"It's two floors down, on the Personell floor." R commented, as he tinkered a bit with the machine gun, the minion that held it up groaning softly. "Thank you R." Ranma said as they went into the elevator, Aracha muttering something about machine-guns being installed on every floor, something about precautions. "Well, this is the floor, and I guess there must be the kitchen." The hallway in which the elevator emerged was divided in 2 parts, one part being noted as Minion Quarters, where apparently the minions were supposed to go and live, with separate areas for females and males, while the other area was Kitchen.

They entered the kitchen, Ranma looking at the shiny pots and pans which adorned the walls, along with the refrigerator, which bore a message:

GIFTED BY THE COOKING CLUB OF FURINKAN HIGH

He smiled softly at the note, looking at Hitomi, who seemed to be almost moved to tears by the cleanliness of the kitchen. "Like it?" he asked, looking at her with an inspecting look, only to receive a somewhat pleased grin from her. "They even outfitted it with some basic foodstuffs, this is great. I'll join, if only to work in a kitchen this fabulous. Look, they even mimicked my original kitchen in great detail."

Hitomi was overjoyed that she had finally gotten to a REAL kitchen again, due to the bad luck that usually followed her around since Akane had made it hard for her to get into a kitchen. She went to the refrigerator, seeing that the food within it was enough to feed at least 50 people for a week, while wondering how it all got there. "How did all of it get here, the cost must've been enormous." Ranma scratched his head, as he had no idea how the hell there had been this much food moved to that refrigerator. "No idea. Still, you can cook us something? I'm feeling kind of hungry, and I'd rather not have to try and cook rice again."

Twenty minutes later they were eating beef cutlets with creamy sauce and onion soup, Hitomi having cooked that up within record time, or as she put it 'Hitomi time'. The fact that it tasted like something very good and smelled like something awesome was enough to convince the 14 people that Arachnea had in its employ that Hitomi was someone that should stay, preferably get some companions in cooking if this branch expanded a bit. "Well, since we're fed now, I guess we'd better get going, right Blackhole?"

"Blackhole?" he muttered as he looked at Aracha. "Yep, that's going to be your codename from now on." "Blackhole doesn't sound cool." "Oh, put a sock in it. It sounds cool enough." "I'll look like some techno-geek with that name." "Oh, please, you got any better idea?" "Not really…"

And so, it was an ordinary day at Arachnea, with a new team member and cook, and a lot more of the traps that R had spoken about, Ranma accidentally triggering one and having to duck under a blast of lightning that crossed through the air…

Alright, I'm giving you the choice to give Ranma a cool sounding name, and you better not waste it. It's rare that I do this, so don't waste it. Other than that, I am sorry that the chapters are somewhat shorter than usual, but that's because I really have a bit of a low amount of free time in which to write, school and all other stuff detracting from my work in writing.

Please review!

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