Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Unless that head belongs to Saint Vitalis of Assisi, patron saint of genital diseases, whose noggin went on auction this past Sunday in Ireland. Of dubious provenance, the skull sold for a final bid of €3,500 to an unnamed man in Los Angeles. Lets hope a little head cures what ails him.

Monday, May 30, 2011

I tried to hit the pool in Baltimore today and lost 50 lbs, missed Sarah Palin by a hair. She briefly stopped for a photo-op at Ft. McHenry today. Damn it! Just when I'm nice and ripe! I guess she'll have to wait another day to sign my ass cheeks.

Gigantic statue of Orpheus at Ft. McHenry. Erected in 1914, "Orpheus" honors Francis Scott Key, who wrote the poem "The Defense of Fort McHenry"while held captive on a British ship in the Chesapeake. Set to the tune of a British drinking song, Key's poem was later adapted into the "Star Spangled Banner", the national anthem of the United States.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

The light of Christ directs the faithful in Rome to St. Peter's Basilica. I guess he wasn't called son for nothing. It may be a holiday weekend boys, but it's still Sunday. Rise and shine and give God your glory glory!

Full credit to BSD reader Frank for reminding us all where our thoughts should be on this solemn day of rest.

There is nothing I could say to make this story any funnier, other than tell you its absolutely true.

An outbreak of life-threatening equine herpes in Utah has caused promoters of an all-girl rodeo pageant to resort to extreme measures. The show must go on, even if that requires replacing actual horses with stick ponies. The original story aired on Salt Lake City's KSL news. Watch the surreal video below, along with pictures from the event. I see penis anyone?

Saturday, May 28, 2011

There is just something about the word "pink". A chromatic cousin to the metaphorically front-loaded "red", pink was originally considered a masculine color. Centuries of shed blood from demographically superfluous males should count for something right? Male babies born at the turn of the century were often placed in pink blankets. Watery and indecisive, girls got blue. Genitals often have a way of changing things, however. Over time, pink found itself taking on another, more explicit metaphor: the clitoral glans (or the vaginal opening itself).

How doubly ironic then that a restaurant called "Pink's" should specialize in hotdogs and suggestive balloon sculptures.

Thanks to Nevada native Tyler for snapping the pic above and sending it in to BSD HQ.

If only I could grow my own fur coat and spend half the year hibernating, than I might just consider moving to Chicago. I haven't been to a city in the United States with better food or more awe inspiring architecture. New York's skyline is just too crowded; San Francisco spends half the day shrouded in fog. LA is well, LA. If only it weren't so damn cold, Chicky-dicky-go would be perfect. Thankfully, there is a new queer magazine to warm my loins. Starting this June, grab a copy of Chicago IRL. IRL stands for "In Real Life". Don't be embarrased, I had to ask too. Just in case your loins get a little too warm (Chicago can also get pretty damn sticky in the Summertime), you can purchase your own handmade lace jockstrap for only 40 Shytown Simoleons. Cool your culo (and cock) Chicago style:

Friday, May 27, 2011

The makers of "Vajazzle"(va-jay-jay Swarovski crystal adornment), have now introduced a special line of self-adhesive genital gems for men. Pejazzle designs include "iron crosses", "barbed wire" and "red lips". Who says grandma (and Ed Hardy) should have all the fun!

A British cabbie was recently forced to remove a CROSS from his windshield. Can you believe that!?!?All because it looked like a penis. Next thing you know they'll ban the one with Jesus spread eagle in his underwear.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

If you've ever taken Western Civ, you know that Greeks have always had a thing for their thingies. These contestants on a Greek talent show demonstrate that even with two hands tied behind your back and pants around your ankles you can still learn to play the piano and impress your date at the same time.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Nothing satisfies my speleological curiosity like spelunking. I took these snapshots on a recent vacation to BSD reader Royal Flush. After braving an unexplored solutional sinkhole in his skivvies, I apparently fell asleep on Royal's pubic meadow, which I don't recall at all. Thank God I have this handy vacation slide-show to help jog my memory. Must have been all that warm milk I drank. :-)

Monday, May 23, 2011

Colby on the top of IM Pei's Monument to the Unborn in Providence, RI. Yeah, you heard me right.
CRAY-ZAY. Don't get too excited, I promote a woman's right to choose what goes in her body and what comes out.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

It looks like I may have more in common with great aunt Helen than I'd like to imagine. A recent study published in the medical journal "Laryngoscope" has shown that Viagra can lead to permanent hearing loss. Wut Woh. At least I'll have my vision (which still doesn't help me solve the perplexing cartoon above). . . These, however, I do get: