Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Long Awaited Gun Blog....

As promised: The long awaited Gun Blog! First off, all the pictures are by Kimm Schroeder (AKA SD or Stunt Double) except for those OF Kimm aka SD, which were by Amy Crownhart (AKA Arm & Slam'er or Slamer) (Read it a couple times, it will make sense.)

The second thing about the Gun Blog here, or what I call for short "The Day I Learned To Kill" is that I've been working with someone all week who has a decided preference for old Country Music, and it's, er, rubbed off, so I am writing this listening to my new fav radio station. We'll call it "Twang 100.1" Never written to music like this and I may have things to say, as they come up...

Let's get started. First picture up there: Those are bullets, they come out of the gun. You don't want to BE where they land. They eject shells too, which can go straight down your cleavage. This is less serious, but definitely something new. Don't wave your gun around when this happens, tho.

Here's my first shooting. As you can see: Dude is DEAD. Yeah, I'm that good at this. This was shot with the long Gun which is either a rifle, or a shotgun, I get them mixed up. There weren't any pictures tho where I felt I looked sufficiently BADASS tho, so you'll have to imagine.

(Twang 100.1: I'm sorry you're in prison for something you haven't done. Sucks not to have a good lawyer)

This is the short Gun. There were two kinds. This is the kinder, gentler version. Liked it. Didn't do as well killing my Dude tho. He doesn't have LEGS there on the target we were using, but I sort of mentally drew it in and GUESS what I shot OFF??

(Twang 100.1: Streams don't have Islands. Rivers can. The best a stream can hope for is a sandbar, and even if it DID, you could pretty much just walk OFF if it was a problem.)

Here me loading my own bullets into, hmm, the bullet holder thing. I should mention that this was an adventure clearly led by my Derby Sisters SD and Slam'er, both of whom know exactly what they are doing in regards to guns. It wasn't a "Hey let's learn this together" sort of MISadventure. As a matter of fact, the more I spoke to people about shooting this week, the more it became clear that I may be the ONLY one in this state who does not in fact, own multiple firearms.

(Twang 101.1 If you're sitting all alone in the dark, lonely and crying for Gods sake, turn on some lights, watch some tv, call a friend, go the heck out. Sheesh)

There's Slam'er, who never has any problem looking sufficiently BADASS. (Ever. Actually. With or without guns) She's shooting the other short gun. Thing has a kick to it. And it's really loud. I love the smell of gunpowder in the morning.

(Twang 101.1: I'm really sorry your dog died, but look they DO that. Get another. Sitting in the bar crying about that and crashing your pickup isn't going to HELP)

SD and Slam'er did a lot of explaining to me about the Guns. When you learn these things, you listen. Closely. And if it isn't obvious, if you want to learn these things, learn them with the best friends you have, it's as much about trust as anything else. Trust me.

(Twang 100.1: "you can leave me if you want to, go ahead and go girl, I'll be ok, I'll just sit here with my beer, dont' want to hold you back.." Alcoholic loser. Obviously she left you. Get some damm backbone.)

(Twang 100.1: "Sleeping single in a double bed" Ok. With you there, that does kind of suck, but sleeping double in a double bed isn't all roses either, you need at least Queen sized or it's kind of crowded.

Here's SD. She's so BADASS she can pause shooting, smile for the camera, and get back with hardly a break in the action. This would have been as true had the target been mobile. (this may be my definition of BADASS, having been unable to achieve it any way at all with the long Gun)

(Twang 100.1: "You'd better get your red head back into that bed" Hells YEAH!)

That's me there with the COOL gun. Liked this one. Might even be starting to achieve a sort of "look" Killed me some water bottles with this one, I tell you. My Dude wasn't dying quite as quickly, but no water bottles were walking away.

(Twang 101.1: Little Bity. Little Bity Everything. Rock. May cover this. Fiddles are EVERYWHERE all over the place in country music. This makes it, in many ways cooler than other music. No. You do not get to argue this point.)

Now, you can see them all. The three long ones. The two short ones. The cool one. I loved shooting them and can't wait to again. They're really powerful. They're poetry. Think about it, there's a lot there. They are also the person shooting them. Think about that too.

I feel stronger for it, and more determined. And that's carrying over. I walked away with a very sure feeling that what ever it is:

You can bring it the heck on. Watch me.

Love and Guns, Lorraine aka Quiche MeDeadly

PS (Twang 101.1: Mama tried. But boy oh boy, sure didn't work out for YOU now did it? 21 in prison doing life without parole??? What is UP with you people and lawyers???)

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Loveing this Weekend!

In the spirit of keeping with the idea that I am going to post more, here I am, nearly a Zombie, but writing down the weekend you've been getting bits and pieces of...

First off: Gig on Friday, with Paul and Lorraine. FINE time! Much rock was had, and I am really excited about New Years Weekend! We play both Friday and Saturday, and there are a lot of people I've been missing. The rock is back and both nights are going to be some serious fun. Please come down and be a part of us, either night. We're not playing as much as we used to, and it's such a part of what I am, that when I do get on stage some days, it's going to 11. Trust me.

I learned a LOT this weekend with skating and the first thing I learned was on Saturday morning. If I am going to do back to back Gig with Derby practice, I need to drink WAY more water. You don't think about it on stage, all the time, but your body sure knows it the next day. LEG CRAMPS!!!! You know the ones you get in the night sometimes? Imagine both legs only not just the one muscle, front and back, all of 'em. Never been so close to crying ever.

Worked that practice tho thinking, you'll be scrimmaging in Madison tomorrow learn as much as you can NOW. Leg cramps do go away. Do it NOW.

After practice, (and a quick nap on my part) we nipped down to Madison to see the opening Bout of the Mad Rollin Dolls season, GREAT skating! One of their teams, the Quad Squad, was the one we we were set to scrimmage the next morning.

Watched them skate. Oh gods...

The coolest thing tho, was that this is the team my friend Allie Gator, one of the best skaters going and certainly as good as anyone skating Derby these days is, was on that team, and the space we were scrimmaging at was the very FIRST place I'd ever put on Derby Gear and tried skating, with her, Joan of Dark, Jane Ire, and Fluer De Lys, a year ago.

Getting ready in the same spot. Cool? Do you not THINK SO??? When I was there last, Joan and Allie and Jane held my hands, Fluer lent me gear, I skated for up to 2 minutes at a time before I had to rest. Uh-huh.

Wasn't sure I could skate Derby then but there wasn't an OPTION on this, they knew I could. Warming up this morning, watching the Quad Squad and my team, I knew there was no way I was nearly as good as anyone on this track, either team. Not false modesty here, I'm not.

But I was THERE. And there was no way I was going to let this one go by. Sometimes you just think, there are things in life that if you don't go the hell for it, you will regret it for the rest of your life. It doesn't MATTER what you feel tho, as long as you DO it. Trust me on this one, a little trial by fire never hurt anyone.

I learned so much. It was very like, in a lot of ways, that Flash Girls gig, opening for Warren Zevon, my third gig EVER, sold out show. We weren't READY, we had no clue what we were doing, but that doesn't much matter when it comes down to it, it matters if you DO it or not.

Playing music, I know and trust my bandmates, I know my instrument, I know I rock and can gauge an audience and rock them, making magic and KNOW this will work, which is something you learn from getting on stage a hundred times and experiencing.

Skating Derby, I am back to square one.

But I'm learning. And I trust my teammates. Did I rock this? Yeah. I did. I had a couple good moves. I was THERE. I got knocked over, I got hit, I fell down. And got up, caught the pack, went back in it, and did everything that was in me, the best I could do.

Did I muck it up? Yup. Sure did. Doesn't matter. I learned.

I posted on FB that all I wanted for Xmas was one good hit today on Allie Gator, and I got it. She let me, the moves were right, last jam of the scrimmage, there was an opening, she waited until I got into the right spot for the hit, I hit her. And it was a good hit, I did it right. (I love you Gator, since the day we met)

That means everything. Went to the box right after for a major forearm and cutting the track on the way to the penalty box, 2 min, but yeah, I did THAT ONE MOVE right.

And that's Derby.

Came home, fed the Bengals and aired out my pads. Can hardly move, so tired, it's hard to think. And yeah, I hurt. But I know what I want, I know what I need to work on, and I have a whole lot of people who KNOW I am going to do it.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Fashion is Everything...

Today's post is on fashion. Not that you can tell from the picture, but it's all I have so Photo Booth it is for you. Been pondering fashion, specifically MINE the last few minutes since an epiphany hit me: Apparently my philosophy on fashion is this: Wear all the clothes you need for the day at the same time, right from the start when you get dressed in the morning.. You never need to change.

I just noticed this. I'm wearing Capri Workouts, topped by Little Black Shorts, topped by Track Leggings. In short THREE pairs of pants. (May be a new record) (For those of you in the UK, we're talking TROUSERS, not knickers. I have none of THOSE on, I mean, with all these pants? WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT???)

I also have on TWO shirts, a tank and a long sleeve. (Two bras for that matter as well, a regular and an inferior Sport Bra I like because it is hot pink, tho sadly, not enough to do the job on it's own)

White socks, not black, if you've been following along on FB, you'll know I lost all of THOSE in a bizarre hunting accident. (Actually the washing machine, just checking to see if you're paying attention.)

That's a LOT of clothes, darn winter, but the leggings and long sleeve take me into work, simply pull 'em off after and Ta-da! You're ready for gym! Handy. No pesky CHANGING,

And since I know some Missie Smarty Pants out there is going to ask, "Hey Fabulous Lorraine, what about PJ's?" Got it covered. Much like knickers, rarely wear 'em. As for saying , "Hey, Quiche MeDeadly.." instead of Fabulous Lorraine, (got lots of names now, never sure who I am), but "Hey, QMD" would be a Derby Girl, and I wish not to quote what SHE would have to say on the subject.

Speaking of Derby, it's Bout Week! Saturday night with the Chippewa Valley Roller Girls! LOVE Bout Week! This one is extra fun as Joan of Dark is coming to Bench Coach, Dill Hero to co-announce with Matt Black, The Birdchick is coming dressed as a Sexy Elf to, well, that is undetermined as of press time yet, but she'll be there too. And the Delavan Dolls are coming to Bout us, and the MN Jr Roller Derby to open the entire event.