The Hottest Fuckin' Sauce

Pain Level 10++

Dr. Burnörium says:

I'm trying to find out whether it was Gordon Ramsay or Chubby Brown who wrote the label for this sauce. I'll let you know as soon as I do.

The fact that the 'Hottest Fuckin' range are amongst our bestsellers tells me three things.

Firstly, you think they are superb products.

Secondly, you're all a bunch of potty-mouths.

Thirdly, you like to buy exclusive gifts the likes of which you'll never find on the high street.

You certainly won't find this fucker in Tesco.

And just to satisfy the bureaucratic bullshit of any Trading Standards jobsworth's who happen to be reading this, I'd like to make it perfectly clear that, despite the name, this isn't actually the hottest sauce that I sell ... but it has got enough serious fire power to leave you cursing like Gordon Ramsay. Or Chubby Brown. Your choice.

The label says:

We warned you. This is a serious fuckin' hot sauce.

That's right we said it - because we had to. There is no other way to describe just how hot this sauce is.

I suppose we could have said "it's like the fiery depths of hell" or "that it's ass-burning" and even keep away from pets or small children and avoid contact with sensitive areas, but that just seems so wordy.

The sauce is hot as fuck! Succinct, to the point - no beating around the bush! Honesty is always the best policy, isn't it?

If this sauce burns intensely, do not be afraid to let it out. Scream fuck at the top of your lungs. You'll feel better. There is no better verbal therapy.