Medical Myths

I think it’s time we dispelled all these old wives’ tales about medicine that we’ve been hearing and repeating since our childhood.

I think it’s time we dispelled all these old wives’ tales about medicine that we’ve been hearing and repeating since our childhood.

Consider these facts:

1. Every three years, the medical community puts out a study that says that eggs are alternately good for you or bad for you.

2. We’re willing to start a brand-new diet every week because scientists all of a sudden say that the previous diet made no scientific sense, but don’t worry, this new one is going to work.

We can’t accept anything that we know about medicine as an unchangeable fact.

3. When we were little, our mothers put us to sleep on their stomachs, because that’s what doctors were saying to do at the time. Then all of a sudden, all the doctors said, “Wait! You’re supposed to put them on their backs! We’ve been reading these medical textbooks upside down!” Then, by the time I got married, everyone was saying that babies are supposed to sleep on their sides, even though that’s not physically possible. Then they said that none of these is okay, and that you have to keep flipping the baby every five minutes, like an omelet. So most babies these days end up going to sleep on their father’s stomach after he passes out in the living room.

What does this tell us? Basically, it tells us that we can’t accept anything that we know about medicine as an unchangeable fact.

But then why is it that the things we heard when we were little, we not only believe are true, but we believe that research on the matter will never change? Like how our mothers told us that we shouldn’t go swimming right after eating. Thirty minutes, they said. They gave it a time, like meat and dairy.

To be honest, I’m not sure of the point of such a rule. Even if I tried going swimming right after eating, I’d first have to get to the pool, change, and then do that fifteen-minute process where I put my toes in the water and go, “AAAAHH! It’s COLD!” By the time I get in, there’s no danger in swimming.

But it turns out that there never was a danger in swimming. According to statistics, fewer than 1% of all drowning cases happen on a full stomach, and not one case has ever been linked to eating.

Yet we will repeat these myths into the ground, even though some of them were even created as myths in the first place. You know how they say that carrots are good for your eyes? I’m not saying they’re bad for your eyes. They do have vitamin A, which is good for your eyesight in that if you don’t get enough vitamin A, your vision will get worse. But it’s not like eating an entire truckload of carrots will suddenly enable you to see through walls. It will turn you orange – that one’s not a myth – and everyone else, who doesn’t eat as many carrots as you, will look at you and think there’s something wrong with their eyes.

The myth was invented by British air force pilots during WWII when they were asked to explain how they were able to find their German targets at night, and they didn’t want to come out and tell the Germans that they’d invented radar. So they said, “Um… We eat a lot of carrots.”

The Germans were eating carrots for months after that.

So maybe we should start questioning even more of these stories. For example, we can ask:

Does cold weather cause colds?

No. In fact, I don’t know why they’re even called colds. Colds are caused by viruses.

“But then why do they come about when it’s cold?” you ask.

There is a correlation. Colds in the winter are caused by people staying indoors with each other all the livelong day with the windows closed. And if we want to get our kids out of the house, we bring them to a school with 5,000 other kids, not one of whom, you’ve noticed, ever covers his mouth when he coughs.

But look around during the summer. Do you see where the kids are? They’re outside, standing in a baseball field. They’re still technically playing with each other, but they’re nowhere near each other. No one is catching anything. And here I include baseballs.

Does bathing in tomato juice get rid of skunk smells?

I don’t know. It seems pretty random. But who has thirty cans of tomato juice lying around the house? You’d have to make an emergency trip to the store. But the good news is that any checkout line you stand on will magically disperse. (“Can I get ahead of you? All I have is tomato juice.”) Sometimes people are surprisingly nice.

But the truth is that it doesn’t get rid of the smell. If you don’t believe me, try bathing a skunk in tomato juice and see what happens. All it does is cover up the existing smell. It’s like if you find a deceased raccoon under your bungalow, and instead of getting rid of it, you spray it with deodorant. So what actually happens is that by the time you’ve bathed in the tomato juice, your nose has gotten used to the skunk smell, and all you smell is the tomato juice. But for anyone who suddenly comes into the room, you’re going to smell like a weird combination of both.

“Did you eat at that really bad pizza place? And then slip on the floor in their kitchen? And why are you orange?”

What you really need to get rid of skunk smell is baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. Sleeping outside helps as well, unless the skunk is still around.

Does Sugar Make Kids Hyperactive?

You’d think so, right? Your kid eats birthday cake; he’s bouncing off the walls. And every time you give him candy, he invents a new game wherein the object is to yell as loud as he can until you yell at him to stop yelling louder than he’s yelling in the first place. Right?

Wrong. Sugar gives you energy, but so does any carb. Kids at birthday parties are hyperactive because they’re excited that they’re at a birthday party. And as for the kids whose parents give them too much candy and then have to peel them off the ceiling, maybe these kids are just spoiled because their parents give them too much candy.

In fact, scientists have conducted 23 experiments on this very question, probably after consuming a whole truckload of sugar. They took two groups of kids, fed one group sugar and the other group artificial sweetener, and then they observed them at play. By the end of the study, they found that every single kid had caught a cold.

No, I’m just kidding, probably. They found that the kids behaved pretty much exactly the same either way. This was true for study after study, during which the scientists consumed an unbelievable amount of Advil. But then they conducted a study in which they told the boys’ mothers that they were giving one group sugar and the other group artificial sweetener, but really they just gave everyone artificial sweetener. Then they put the kids in a room again, but this time they locked the mothers in with them. In the end, straight across the board, the mothers who thought their sons had gotten sugar said that their kids acted more hyper. In other words, certain mothers are just more paranoid.

***

So yeah, none of those things are true, for the most part. If you don’t believe me, ask your doctor. At the very least, I bet you can get him to change his phone number.

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Mordechai Schmutter writes a weekly humor column for Hamodia, a monthly humorous advice column for The Jewish Press, and a comic strip for The 20s and 30s of Brooklyn. He is also the author of the books, Don’t Yell “Challah” in a Crowded Matzah Bakery, A Clever Title Goes Here, This Side Up, Cholent Mix, and What Is This - Some Kind of Joke? all published by Israel Book Shop. In his spare time, which doesn't exist, he attempts to teach Language Arts to a bunch of high school guys, most of whom are usually too upset that he showed up on any given day to even pay attention to his lessons. He is also available to do stand-up comedy. He lives in New Jersey, but no longer remembers why.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 10

(9)
Anonymous,
January 18, 2016 3:04 AM

Exactly what I needed! A good laugh is proven medical advice for when you are literally too sick to move, and this hit the spot. Thank you!

(8)
Anonymous,
January 9, 2014 6:19 AM

Thank you so much!

You made me laugh so much; too funny! Thank you for the laughs and the interesting insights! Hope you have a great day!

(7)
Alisa,
January 7, 2014 11:06 AM

Everyone has a disputation

There have also been numerous studies done that prove that a full moon does not cause people to behave crazy (except for werewolves, maybe), but ask any ER nurse, EMT or paramedic, and they will regale you with stories of the ER runs amok during a full moon. An experienced ER nurse can tell if it's a full moon without even looking, if he or she is on shift.

Having said that, I will swear until the day I die that too much processed sugar causes kids to go nutso. :)

(6)
Nirah,
January 2, 2014 6:01 AM

back to sleep

though i appreciate the gist of the article - using the first example of putting infants to sleep on their backs as an example of a myth is very distressing, In countries that adopted the "back to sleep policy" - infants on their backs - SIDS mortality has decreased by over 50%. Medicine is evolving - that is true to but let us not throw out the baby with the bath water - literally.

(5)
Mary,
January 2, 2014 3:08 AM

Medical Myths

I love to laugh - this was certainly a good tonic. Thanks

(4)
zvi,
January 1, 2014 11:28 PM

Influenza (Flu) virus live better in the cold

The "cold' explanation here was way off. Scientists now know that the flu virus thrives in a cold, relatively dry environment. So, winter is flu (influenza) season. Putting on a coat will only help a bit. It's the virus in the cold air, not the person being cold (another old wives tale, bubbe ma'eseh) that is the main cause.

(3)
Sue,
December 31, 2013 9:54 AM

Thank you - this really made me laugh !

(2)
Frederica Steller,
December 30, 2013 6:16 PM

throwing out what doctors have told us since we were kids

I totally agree with you! Since doctors can't seem to either agree on anything, or they just can't make up their blooming minds; let's just do what we believe is right.

betty,
January 2, 2014 11:56 PM

Amen to that !!

(1)
mike,
December 29, 2013 10:49 PM

add one more

my mom always told my brother and i that if we jumped in a puddle we would get pneumonia. by her tone we knew that we did not want to get it-although we had no idea what it was.

I want to know about the concept of "sin" due to Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge. The Christian concept of sin revolves around the fall of the man and the "original sin." Does Judaism view it the same way?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Adam and Eve were punished according to their actions. In other words, God laid down the conditions for Adam and Eve to live in the garden, provided they would not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. However, if they were to eat from that tree they would be punished by experiencing death. (If they had not eaten from the tree, they would have remained immortal.)

This sets down the basic principle in Judaism of Reward and Punishment. Basic to this is that every person has the choice of doing good or bad. When a person chooses "good" – as defined by God – he is able to draw close to God. In other words, every individual has a chance to "gain salvation" through his own actions.

My understanding of Christianity, however, is that the Original Sin has infected all of mankind to the point where individuals are incapable of achieving salvation through their own initiative. Man is "totally depraved" and therefore his only hope of salvation is through the cross.

This belief is contrary to the teachings of Judaism. From the Torah perspective, an individual does not need to rely on anyone else to atone for them. In Judaism, sins can be "erased" altogether by sincere repentance and a firm resolution never to repeat the mistakes.

For more on this, read "Their Hollow Inheritances" by Michael Drazin – www.drazin.com

Yahrtzeit of Moses in 1273 BCE (Jewish year 2488), on the same day of his birth 120 years earlier. (Consequently, "May you live to 120" has become a common Jewish blessing.) Moses was born in Egypt at a time when Pharaoh had decreed that all Jewish baby boys be drowned in the Nile River. His mother set him afloat in a reed basket, where he was -- most ironically -- discovered by Pharaoh's daughter and brought to Pharaoh's palace to be raised. When Moses matured, his heart turned to aid the Jewish people; he killed an Egyptian who was beating a Jew, and he fled to Midian where he married and had two sons. God spoke to Moses at the Burning Bush, instructing him to return to Egypt and persuade Pharaoh to "let My people go." Moses led the Jews through the ten plagues, the Exodus, and the splitting of the Red Sea. Seven weeks later, the Jews arrived at Mount Sinai and received the Torah, the only time in human history that an entire nation experienced Divine revelation. Over the next 40 years, Moses led the Jews through wanderings in the desert, and supervised construction of the Tabernacle. Moses died before being allowed to enter the promised Land of Israel. He is regarded as the greatest prophet of all time.

Lack of gratitude is at the root of discontent. In order to be consistently serene, we must master the attribute of being grateful to the Creator for all His gifts. As the Torah (Deuteronomy 26:11) states, "Rejoice with all the good the Almighty has given you." This does not negate our wanting more. But it does mean that we have a constant feeling of gratitude since as long as we are alive, we always have a list of things for which to be grateful.

[Just before Moses' death] God said to him, "This is the Land that I promised to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob" (Deuteronomy 34:4).

The Midrash says that Moses pleaded to live long enough to be able to enter the Promised Land. He surrendered his soul only after God instructed him to enter Heaven and inform the Patriarchs that the Israelites had come to their Land and that God had indeed fulfilled His promise to give the Land of Israel to their descendants. To fulfill God's will was dearer to Moses than his craving to enter the Land.

It is only natural to cling to life, and the thought of leaving this world is depressing. However, if a person develops the attitude that he lives only in order to fulfill God's will, then life and death are no longer polar opposites, because he lives to do the will of God, and when that will requires that he leave this world, he will be equally obedient.

The seventh day of Adar is the anniversary of Moses' death. He wanted to enter the Promised Land so that he could fulfill the commandments and thereby have a new opportunity to fulfill the Divine wish. He surrendered his soul willingly when he was told that there was a special commandment for him to perform, one that could only be achieved after leaving this earth.

We refer to Moses as Rabbeinu, our teacher. He not only taught us didactically, but by means of everything he did in his life - and by his death, as well.

Today I shall...

try to dedicate my life to fulfilling the will of God, so that even when that will contradicts my personal desires, I can accept it with serenity.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...