Fantasy League Golf 2019 - Newsletter 6​

It has really cooled down here in France over the last few days as it was only 36C yesterday after having been 39C over the weekend and 44C last Friday. It means Fantasy News is hot off the press.

Three weeks ago I went to northern France with the Warley Wayward Wilkins Wanderers as Seniors ventured abroad for the first time since Colin took us to Hardelot and Hill, Wines, and Butler went to Belgium by mistake. It was a jolly trip and a wet trip in which I was honoured to have Cinderella Shooter and Flash Gordon in my car (Gordon brought the ear plugs).

Our morning off was in the lovely town of Laon where Paul was amazed to find fellow ram lovers, including paintings on ancient walls. Fellow travellers were Bet 370 groupies, Abbott and Dunsdon in the Wilkins mobile, and Capability Brown and Wedding Singer Cormack, who were driven by Memory Man Mr Tallentire – where’s my ipad, where’s my camera.

All returned home safely, although RT had a slight hiccup discovering the day after that he had come home on his bike and left his car in France!

In the latest competitions super spy Burgess wins again and so now has an unprecedented 3 GOY victories and will shortly make Kevin an offer for the pro shop. Peter claimed the Hastie Trophy with a glorious net 65 seeing off the Benton Rainford challenge – well done all.

​Meantime, I pipped Robot Robson for 2nd place in the Classic Trophy, but could do nothing about a 45 point Geoff Brown who stormed to victory. The Brown Rainford success is a victory for us all as our youth policy is obviously working.

Graham may have to now concentrate on internal competitions, as Flash and the Captain have introduced computer registration for matches and you have to prove you are not a robot. Graham can tick the boxes with zebra crossings, but cannot tick I am not a Robot.

Meantime the Seniors Captain has been troubled by arthritis and my grapevine tells me he has secretly approached an old hockey friend and gardener about growing some camomile to ease the pain. A deal has been done and they are currently looking for an unused bingo hall in Billericay.

And then another story reached my ears that I had to check because sometimes you just can’t make it up. We all carry ‘extras’ in our golf bags just in case – tees, balls, towels, wet gear, drying gear, hand warmers, gloves, sunglasses, hairspray – pardon – hairspray. Who has that?

​Dennis asked me to stop calling him Quentin and now I find out he carries hairspray, but not for his hair and it is made by a friend. It goes on his club grips so he can hold them better, because it makes them sticky and of course, because they smell nice. Never a hair out of place. Perhaps he should spray his golf balls too.

In the Fantasy League, Robot still leads with Mr Wright and Mr Trett closing the gap. Interim prizes will next be paid at the end of July so get the transfer money out if you are in the running.

NB Past 2018 Newsletters can be viewed under the Archive button.

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