Because you never showed up at his Grand Ave man-tique, Dapper's owner stuck his slick and scrupulously selected casu-wear online, offering head-to-toe fits to the city-bound masses.

Start with slim, woven Hyden Yoo button-downs in checks and stripes, or Artificial Flavor's double-breast-pocketed polos; for underneath, nab tees by La Lorraine, with a slim fit, with vintage-inspired graphics.

Or Friend or Foe, which rock cover art from jazz, soul, and blues albums. Down-below-options vary from Apolis Activism's sturdy twill trousers to deadstock denim by Good Society and Farmer Industry, while outerwear is well repped by waxed-cotton bombers from Los Angeles' Orthodox and mock-neck/speckled gray fleece hoodies by Plain Gravy (whose vagina-sketch tees the owner decided to forgo.

There's also a trove of accessories, like throwback-ish shades by Modern Amusement and Original Penguin, Triple Five Soul's army style "Addict" laptop bags, and Brixton's classic fedoras and mini-billed baseball caps -- bringing up yet another strike against Oakland, the Fremont A's.