Favorite Pastry Quotes

2. "Fairy tales thrive on black and white. In life, there's only grey – no bad guys, no good guys. You could be the Cheshire cat, Snow White, a troll or a pastry-making witch whose diet consists only of little kids, but you'll always be you."Author: Arnold Arre

3. "Brushes are crucial for applying glazes, sauces, and oils. The pastry brushes that you find in homestores can be pricey so pay a visit to your local hardware store and pick up a few paint brushes which are less expensive and work equally as well."Author: Bobby Flay

4. "JEMAINELisa?BRETYes, she's in Delta Force. She's been deployed to Fallujah.JEMAINEBut she works in the croissant shop.BRETYeah, she's got two jobs. She's a pastry chef and a sniper."Author: Flight Of The Conchords

5. "A dessert made out of a dozen matzohs, a gallon of cream and amaretto liqueur, and a tub of raspberries. What I believe my mother is aiming for is a mille-feuille, or, in Russian, a tort Napoleon. The result is a vaguely Passover-based departure from pastry reality. In deference to its point of origin, she likes to call it "French."Author: Gary Shteyngart

6. "In truth, he had always considered the sight of men eating croissants slightly ridiculous, especially at the beginning, when for the first bite they had to maneuver the point of the crescent into their mouths. No matter what a person did, he ended up with an asymmetrical mouthful of pastry, which he then had to relocate with his tongue to a more central location. This made him look less purposive than he might. Also, croissants were more apt than other breakfast foods to spray little flakes all over one's clean dark suit. Art himself had accordingly never ordered a croissant in any working situation, and he believed that attention to this sort of detail was how it was that he had not lost his job like so many of his colleagues."Author: Gish Jen

7. "An hour before his world exploded like a ripe tomato under a stiletto heel, Myron bit into a fresh pastry that tasted suspiciously like urinal cake."Author: Harlan Coben

8. "That night's dream: a narrow column of dark liquid in a tall glass; a blue-black waterspout plunging from the sky; a swirl of black-fruit icing piped over a pastry hot from the oven; a long, feminine finger laid over lips; a torrent of whispers that that finger cannot hush."Author: J.J. Abrams

9. "The First Law of Pies: 'No Pastry, No Pie."Author: Janet Clarkson

10. "Consider this argument another wedge served from the malodorous pie known as "My way is Right," the dessert of choice for politicians, religious leaders, and warring pastry chefs."Author: Jeff Deck

11. "What's in here? That hurt." He reached into the bag, frowning. "It better not be body parts." He pulled out the huge cinnamon roll and eyed it. "Ay, caramba. My village will not starve this year. We are very grateful, grasshopper." He bowed, holding up the pastry. "A debt repaid is a blessing on us all, my child."Author: Jeff Lindsay

12. "Our bellies are empty and our patience is short...submit to us and we will make of you a great quiche!''Again with the QUICHE?! What kind of self-respecting monster would eat a DAINTY PASTRY DISH?! STEW is what we will make of their bones!''Don't get greedy on me! There's three of them! I just want the little one for my quiche!''It was nothing to do with greed! It's a matter of principle! MONSTERS DO NOT EAT QUICHE!"Author: Jeff Smith

13. "If we keep him for ourselves, we can do anything we want with him!''OH, REALLY?! Does that include baking him in a quiche?!''NO, IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THAT! IT INCLUDES EATING HIM RAW!''That's too bad. He would've made a fine pastry filling."Author: Jeff Smith

14. "As a leftover sixties liberal, I believe that the long arm and beady eyes of the government have no place in our bedrooms, our kitchens, or the backseats of our parked cars. But I also feel that the immediate appointment of a Special Pastry Prosecutor would do much more good than harm. We know the free market has totally failed when 89 percent of all the tart pastry, chocolate-chip cookies, and tuiles in America are far less delicious than they would be if bakers simply followed a few readily available recipes. What we need is a system of graduated fines and perhaps short jail sentences to discourage the production of totally depressing baked goods. Maybe a period of unpleasant and tedious community service could be substituted for jail time."Author: Jeffrey Steingarten

15. "Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart."Author: John Updike

16. "If a baker makes fifty absolutely identical cookies, he must be using the same pastry mold for all of them."Author: Jostein Gaarder

17. "You can't hurry love, and you can't rush puff pastry, either. You can knead too much, and you can be too needy. Always, warmth is what brings pastry to rise. Chemistry creates something amazing; coupled with care and heat, it works some kind of magic to create this satisfying, welcoming, and nourishing thing that is the base of life."Author: Kathleen Flinn

18. "He was a portly man, aslop in coffee and gravid with Danish pastry."Author: Kurt Vonnegut

19. "If I didn't ever model? I would be back in Kansas. I would probably end up being a pastry chef. My grandma taught me how to make a pie."Author: Lindsey Wixson

20. "Are you talking about me?" Danny looked up from the pastry board, suspicion written clearly across his face."Just bemoaning your tragic heterosexuality," Win sighed, swinging his knives down on the prep station."Oh," Danny said, blinking. "Well. Sorry about that, but there's not much I can do about it."Win waved that away. "No big. I'm not that into workplace romance, myself."Author: Louisa Edwards

21. "You may feel that you have eaten too much...But this pastry is likefeathers - it is like snow. It is in fact good for you, a digestive!"Author: M.F.K. Fisher

22. "I make no bones about it. I have no understanding of pastry."Author: Michael Symon

23. "The Pop-Tarts page is often aflutter. Pop-Tarts, it says as of today (February 8, 2008), were discontinued in Australia in 2005. Maybe that's true. Before that it said that Pop-Tarts were discontinued in Korea. Before that Australia. Several days ago it said: "Pop-Tarts is german for Little Iced Pastry O' Germany." Other things I learned from earlier versions: More than two trillion Pop-Tarts are sold each year. George Washington invented them. They were developed in the early 1960s in China. Popular flavors are "frosted strawberry, frosted brown sugar cinnamon, and semen." Pop-Tarts are a "flat Cookie." No: "Pop-Tarts are a flat Pastry, KEVIN MCCORMICK is a FRIGGIN LOSER notto mention a queer inch." No: "A Pop-Tart is a flat condom." Once last fall the whole page was replaced with "NIPPLES AND BROCCOLI!!!!!"Author: Nicholson Baker

24. "Within five minutes of leaving the reunion, I'd undone the double wrapping and eaten all six rugelach, each a snail of sugar-dusted pastry dough, the cinnamon-lined chambers microscopically studded with midget raisins and chopped walnuts. By rapidly devouring mouthful after mouthful of these crumbs whose floury richness - blended of butter and sour cream and vanilla and cream cheese and egg yolk and sugar - I'd loved since childhood, perhaps I'd find vanishing from Nathan what, according to Proust, vanished from Marcel the instant he recognized "the savour of the little madeleine": the apprehensiveness of death. "A mere taste," Proust writes, and "the word 'death' ... [has] ... no meaning for him." So, greedily I ate, gluttonously, refusing to curtail for a moment this wolfish intake of saturated fat, but, in the end, having nothing like Marcel's luck."Author: Philip Roth

25. "The bread and the pastry, the cheeses and wine, and the sugar go into the Supper of the lamb because we do. It is our love that brings the city home. It is I grant you, an incautious and extravagant hope. But only outlandish hopes can make themselves at home."Author: Robert Farrar Capon

26. "I wrote this HAIKU cuz today NYC definitely looks like a wonderland. ENJOYwhat is winter but a pastry chef gone crazy frosting all in sight Robin Glasser have fun in the snow"Author: Robin Glasser

27. "Bluetooth earpieces are so geeky," Dan Cahill said."But they free up your hands for surfing the web, stealing priceless jewels, and eating pastry," Atticus said, taking a huge bite out of an apple strudel."And picking your nose," Dan added, which caused Atticus to blow a mouthful of strudel all over the seat in front of them occupied by Dan's sister, Amy, who was trying to sleep"Author: Roland Smith

28. "Pastry is different from cooking because you have to consider the chemistry, beauty and flavor. It's not just sugar and eggs thrown together. I tell my pastry chefs to be in tune for all of this. You have to be challenged by using secret or unusual ingredients."Author: Ron Ben Israel

29. "'Sweet Genius'' viewers will be on the edge of their seats as we continue to push the limits with inspirations and ingredients, while showcasing the talents of some of the best pastry chefs around. As a result, the desserts that the chefs create are truly outrageous."Author: Ron Ben Israel

30. "In the past few years, we've been doing amazing stuff with desserts. Pastry chefs have been using herbs and spices in their desserts. So vanilla cake doesn't have to be just vanilla, it can have a little thyme. Or you could have a custard with a little lavender in it, which is just amazing."Author: Ron Ben Israel

31. "My yogurt was nestled into a bag, waiting to turn into aushak, and all around us were sausages and pastry, lollipops and spices, chicken and cheese. Any world that contained all this, I thought surveying our loot, was a very fine place. I felt reinvigorated, alive, optimistic. The though of getting back to work suddenly seemed like fun."Author: Ruth Reichl

32. "It wasn't a perfect body but it was the body she deserved. Not just from every bar of chocolate or bag of crisps or laden plate of food that she'd eaten. This body was also testament to all the hours in the gym and cycling up hills on her bike and glugging down two litres of water a day and learning to love vegetables and fruits that didn't come as optional extra with a pastry crust. She'd earned this body.This was her body and she had to stop giving it such a hard time."Author: Sarra Manning

33. "Hunter, Lizzie's not even on our team!" Raven shouted after him. "Aw, he's a big sweetie pie," said Maddie. "A big, sugary banana slice of pie, cutie-sweetie Hunter." A wolf ate Maddie's basket in one toothy bite. Maddie giggled. Ashlynn was on her hands and knees, talking to a wolf. He howled back, nodding and rolling his eyes as if complaining about something in wolf language. She took a pastry from her basket and fed it to him on her palm."Author: Shannon Hale

34. "I'm an excellent pastry chef. My pie crust is better than my Zia Rosa's. Come on back to the kitchen. I'll make a chocolate cream pie before your very eyes. I'll feed a piece of it to you by hand. And by the time I'm done, you're not going to be asking me if I'm gay anymore."She cleared her throat, gaze darting down. "Is that so.""It is," he said. "On your feet. Come on back to the kitchen. I mean it. I'm dead serious. It's pie time. And I am so ready for you."Author: Shannon McKenna

35. "We did Rat Surprise last night for the Sons of Bloodaxe annual dinner," he said. There was a general groan. "And it was rat." He raised his voice against the complaining. "You can't use anything else - listen - you've got to have the noses poking through the pastry, all right? Some of the best rat we've had in a long time!"Author: Terry Pratchett

36. "Many traffic signs have become like placebos, giving false comfort to the afflicted, or simple boilerplate to ward off lawsuits, the roadway version of the Kellogg's Pop-Tarts box that says, "Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated."Author: Tom Vanderbilt

37. "In the Queen's prayerbook, along with theblood-stain, was also a lock of hair and a crumb of pastry; Orlando nowadded to these keepsakes a flake of tobacco, and so, reading and smoking,was moved by the humane jumble of them all--the hair, the pastry, theblood-stain, the tobacco--to such a mood of contemplation as gave her areverent air suitable in the circumstances, though she had, it is said,no traffic with the usual God."Author: Virginia Woolf

38. "Across the street an addict was mumbling, his words, like Dan Smooth's, reminiscent of the structure of graphite, which is to say comprised of slender hexagonal plates of atoms which slough off at a touch like the multitudinous crusts of a Turkish pastry."Author: William T. Vollmann