Bic invents a new pen just for girls

Who would you say is the greatest innovator of the modern age? James Dyson? Isambard Kingdom Brunel? No. It’s Bic. Who knew what mankind, or rather womankind was lacking in its life was, in fact, a pen designed purely for delicate lady-hands.

The new Bic For Her pens come in gender stereotypical pink or purple and the “attractive barrel” is “designed to fit comfortably in a womans (sic) hand”. And even though the 1.0mm nib promises 1.0mm of girth, as women’s hands are frequently used to experiencing, the actual width of line is only a disappointing 0.4mm.

Still, customers on amazon.co.uk are positively gushing over the new product. We can’t write it up any better*, so we will give you a sample of some of our favourite comments

“I never did very well at school. I wanted to learn and it felt like all the words I needed were right there in my head, but I just couldn't get them onto the paper in front of me. If I really pushed myself, I could sometimes manage to draw pretty flowers in the margins… I didn't understand why I could grip and use a wooden spoon or sewing needle but couldn't properly hold my black-coloured pen for more than 45 seconds without dropping it on the floor and weeping.”

“I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day's tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks.”

“Oh. My. God. I've been doing it all wrong. There was me thinking I didn't need to worry about whether my writing implement sufficiently reflected my gender. Thank you so much Bic for showing me the error of my ways. Perhaps Bic will also bring out a new range of pink (or purple) feminine spanners, screwdrivers, electric drills and angle grinders so that I can carry out my job as a bicycle mechanic without further embarrassing myself? Luckily my male colleagues have managed to keep their disapproval of my use of their masculine tools to themselves. I'm so ashamed. And re-educated as to my place in society. Thanks again Bic!”

“This pen is great. I bought it for all my female friends and relatives. It enabled them, finally, to write things (although they may not yet know to do so on paper; but you can only expect so much, really). I thought they were just a bit slow.”

“I tried these on a whim, and I have to say I wasn't very impressed. The applicator mechanism is far too fiddly, and the plastic tampon inside far too thin (not to mention uncomfortable and non-absorbant) - I'm sure there must be a knack to using them, but I couldn't find it. They also stained my knickers blue for some reason. I really wanted to like these, but it's back to pads for me.”