Thank you for joining me on this journey. It's never been easy, and I don't ever expect it to be. There may be times when you don't agree with me, and that's OK. Never be afraid to share your feelings with me, that's what I'm here for and what has kept me going. I'm not a licensed professional, but I have more than 20 years experience with mental illness.
You can find our podcast, Voices for Change 2.0 at
www.blogtalkradio.com/leftofstr8

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Guest Post #9 - Mental Health Awareness Month - John - Bipolar Style

• How old were you when you began to experience symptoms of mentalillness?

• Did you have support and seek treatment immediately? If not, why?

• What would you tell your younger self knowing what you know nowabout mental illness?

• What do you think are the biggest misconceptions those with mentalillness have to face?

• How do you feel about the stigma surrounding mental illness? Do youfeel we’ve taken positive steps? In your opinion, what needs to bedone in the future?

• What do you do to get through the bad days?

• Do you have any projects that you’re working on that couldbenefit the mental health community?

• Please give us some of your social media screen names in casesomeone wants to get a hold of you.

_ _ _ _

In hindsight, I experienced feelings I now know to be Bipolar disorderas early as 6-7 years old. I was starting grade school.

My dad was mostly away at work, and my mom just focused on my schoolperformance. So, when my emotions got the better of me, all the adultschalked it up to me just being a “sensitive kid.” All of thoseadults kicked me to the curb. By age 14 I was homeless. I wentundiagnosed through another 20 years of mayhem. My mom has a personalitydisorder of the narcissistic nature. She was not hearing what any of thedoctors were saying. She still doesn’t fully acknowledge my condition.

The biggest misconception I experience is that many people equate mentaldisease with intelligence. They think we’ve gone stupid all of asudden. Or maybe deaf. We have not. We hear and process everythingpeople say. We take mental notes and make lists of the shit-talkers.Another misconception is that people who have never been to apsychiatrist must be normal. There are millions of people sicker than Iam who have never seen a doctor. You could be one of them. How would youknow if you don’t see a doctor?

Stigma is different for each person. Some people have support circles,resources or government benefits that allow them to survive without fearof living in a gutter. I don’t. I have lost jobs once people learnedof my Bipolar. It’s easy to say “Fuck Stigma” if you have support.When you don’t, living with a mental illness could be similar to beinga homosexual in the 1950’s.

A quick search on Twitter shows how much stigma has actually grown forsome in the age of ignorant social media posts. Other groups, likepeople with gender dysmorphia syndrome, are more accepted in today’ssociety than people with manic syndrome. That’s great for shows likeDrag Race, and it also illustrates how slow society is to accept othermental conditions. Where is Drag Race for Bipolar people? The stigma isreal. Deny it at your own peril. Unless you have a trust fund orgovernment benefits.

People with safety nets need to check their entitlement when it comes totheir position on stigma. If it doesn’t affect you that much, good foryou. It almost killed me. Twice. You can’t tell me to ignore it. Youcan’t gaslight me into thinking it’s O.K. to be “out” in mypersonal situation, in these particular times. If you want to pay all mybills for life, you can lecture me on stigma.

Ugh. Bad days. If at all possible, I get dressed and go outdoors. Thedirect sunlight and kinetic activity of the street people on the blockenliven my senses. On bad days, I try to avoid electronics. I would muchrather talk to one dirty stranger at a bus stop than a dozen sterilepixels on my Twitter feed. Nature … animals. All those things thatdon’t judge me - I try to surround myself in that. I also create;graphic design, music, podcasts, etc. Sometimes when I think I need somekind of input to make me feel better, it’s really an output that Ineed.

I always have projects - typical manic. I produce a monthly podcastcalled Bipolar Style that’s geared toward the new people diagnosedwith Bipolar every day. The podcasts’ success led to our popular Slackchat at BipolarParty.com where several of us met and formed a newproject called Psych.Media. That’s intended to be a centralpromotional hub for producers with mental illnesses and their blogs,podcasts, galleries, gaming, and videos. My newest podcast, ManicEpisodes, debuts in May 2018.

I can be reached through my Twitter accounts @BipolarStyle and@ManicEpisode or via chat at BipolarParty.com Of course, you could justgo to BipolarStyle.com

About Me

I have been happily married to the man of my dreams for 15 years. We have 5 cats that we adore, and a little house that we are renovating. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at 19. It has been a constant struggle in my life, and has caused a great deal of turmoil.

Despite my illness, my husband has stayed by my side and I have learned to grow from my challenges. I am now a published author and my book is available on Amazon!