I'm on the journey to figure it out

Exercise

I haven’t been on here for a while, what with a busy calendar, the last month or so has been a bit of a blur, which sadly hindered my 90 day plan further.

As you have probably already seen, since starting the plan back in March, I have torn a calf muscle, had the flu and several colds, had a birthday, had a weekend away, come off of my anti depressants, had my best friends hen do, had my brothers wedding and then my best friends hen weekend.

I just couldn’t get a hold of it and felt something was always getting in my way. I bodged my way through cycle two, just, then got my cycle three plan only to decide that I want to start the whole thing again and this time I’m going to really give it my all. I finally have my mojo back after all this time and more importantly, I feel ready. Pretty sure having one month until my best friends wedding is also helping too.

I’ve got my life coach friend onto the books so its nice to have someone to obsess about the plan with. We also went along and helped Joe Wicks break the world record last week. I must admit I was swaying towards the idea of doing some drastic low calorie diet for the next 30 days, but going there and seeing almost 4000 people do one of Joes HIIT workouts really did inspire me to start the whole thing again.

I’ve decided that this time, I am going to avoid drinking alcohol as much as possible, which for me is going to be pretty difficult, given already this week I have a lunch and two dinners I’m going out for, but I have reserved the right restaurants where I know I can eat on plan and I am really going to try and avoid drinking alcohol in the week. I realise now I could have done so much more last time round which makes me more determined as I can clearly see my mistakes.

I got up at 5am this morning, did a 20 minute HIIT sessions from Joes DVD, made myself some protein breakfast muffins and my lunch and I am feeling pretty good.

I’ve finally finished cycle one of the 90 day SSS plan! Hurrah. It was a looooong road as I had to pretty much start it all over again because of injury then illness but I’m so pleased I finished it.

I could have done better but the second time round I was beginning to get bored with eating the same stuff, it would have been fine for 30 days but not after 50 odd.

I’ll admit that the week before I was thinking of jacking it all in until after my holiday which is in 6 weeks, I wasn’t feeling any different, why wasn’t I a size 8 yet?

I was due to submit on Friday but having come down with another virus (I’ve ordered some vitamins!!) I decided to submit a couple of days early in case I was still ill come Friday, it’s Saturday now and I’m actually feeling worse, so good job really.

I went down and got on the scales. I weigh in stones & pounds but you submit in Kg, I originally thought I had only lost 1 pound but when I converted it was actually 3 pounds, then I measured, 4 inches off all over. Bring on the tears! I’m not sure what I was expecting given I was still drinking a lot at weekends and had had a fair few takeaways, I think I was more disappointed with myself than the results as I know I could have done better and had I not got an injury & had to start over my results would most certainly been better.

I asked my boyfriend to take pictures, I felt really self-conscious, even though he sees me naked all the time, after seeing my weight & inches it just made me feel horrible. Obviously I hated the pictures, you submit your front, side & back, looking at them I could just see fat me.

Then something amazing happened, I looked at the two pictures together, before & after cycle 1. I had a waist again! I could see some actual significant change in my body shape. Hooray! Then I had another thought, if that change could happen in that time when I was really only giving it 70%, imagine what can happen on Cycles 2 & 3 if I put more effort in!!

At last I have my mojo back! I’ve missed this feeling so much. Cycle 2 arrived on Thursday morning so I spent a while reading it. It’s so different to cycle 1 & there is much more freedom when it comes to food and more carbs!

You exercise 4 times a week it’s HIIT & weights so the exercise is longer but not by much and you get to have 3 carb meals per day on training days YESSSSSS! Rest days are the same as on cycle one.

For food you are given some recipes for both training & rest days but you are encouraged to create your own & are given a guide of how much of which foods to have, on training days it’s meat, veg, spices, sauces & carbs, on rest days carbs are replaced by fats. The snacks differ from training & rest days too.

Luckily being holed up on my sofa gave me plenty of time to work out some recipes, I found the best way was to use joes cook books, there’s also a page on Facebook called mydietburble that gives recipe ideas which is really useful.

So I am really excited to start, I’m going to start with a rest day tomorrow, just in case I’m still ill and do my first training day on Monday.

So here are my tips for cycle one.

Plan ahead for each week, I found that working out my training days and my meals for the week ahead helped keep me focused.

Batch cook if you can, I was doubling up on dinners so I could have them for lunch or dinner later in the week, it saves lots of time.

Join groups on social media. The support there is amazing, everyone is going through the same struggles and even just reading some people’s success stories can keep you going when you need it.

Buy Carb killas for snacks if you have a sweet tooth, they’re amazing and you’re allowed 2 per week.

If like me you hate plain yoghurt, buy some flavour drops from my protein, I saved my yoghurt from some recipes and had as a dessert with toffee flavour drops or added a strawberry flavour drop to my protein shake was a game changer!

Don’t weigh or measure yourself until the end of each 30 days. This is one thing I did actually stick to but I see so many people on the groups becoming anxious as they’re not seeing the change that they want, someone in one of the groups posted this which helps explain why this happens

And finally, trust in the plan. It isn’t this successful for no reason you may want to give up at times, but stick with it. I am yet to come across someone who has finished the 90 days and said they’ve seen no change.

Last Friday was my birthday weekend, my boyfriend always takes me out for a surprise dinner & I was really looking forward to it. I had lunch with a friend and managed to stay on plan, I also bought loads of cakes and treats into work and didn’t touch a thing. I was so in the zone.

We went to a nice rooftop bar for some drinks and then headed off to the restaurant. We were waiting to cross the road and I went to run across and I felt a sickening pop in my calf. Oh the pain! Ouuuuuch! I managed to hobble to the restaurant hoping to walk it off. I got some ice from the waiter and LOTS of wine to try & dull the pain.

The dinner was amazing, he took me to Smiths in Wapping which I love and it’s very romantic AND I managed to eat healthy. Sadly the wine didn’t work as I’d hoped and rather than go on for drinks after it was a taxi home.

I’d planned to have a rest day on Saturday anyway, which was lucky as I could barely walk. I was feeling fed up and slightly panicking as I was due to finish cycle one later that week. I caved in and got an Indian takeaway for dinner and resolved to get back to healthy the following day. I did this but still couldn’t walk so I had to cancel a meeting with the florist.

The following day was my birthday & I’d taken the day off work and planned to have lunch with my best friend. She had to pick me up as I was worried about driving, I looked like a right idiot hobbling up the road. I allowed myself a chicken carbonarra from Prezzo as that’s my fave. When I got home, I felt pretty sorry for myself, in anticipation of the pity party I was about to have, I had bought some bakewell tarts and some prosecco. This wasnt the birthday I had in mind, I should be shopping, drinking, anything but sitting on my sofa trying to muster up the effort to make the 5 hour trip to the kitchen to get myself a coke zero. I wanted to see if I could drive so I offered to pick my boyfriend up from the station as a test, which I passed thank god. By the time my boyfriend got home from work, I had eaten the whole packet of bakewell tarts and was ready to crack open the prosecco. Fuck it, may as well get a bloody chinese.

The following day I had a doctor’s appointment, I am finally going to come off the anti-depressants! Not a great start to the day tho as I struggled to bring a basket of dirty laundry from upstairs (I normally just throw it down) that got me in tears, then a packet of sesame seeds had fallen out of the cupboard which sent me hysterical, anyone would have thought something horrific had happened in my life the way I was carrying on. I went to the doctors and didn’t tell him about my meltdown, I think it was more due to cabin fever than anything else, plus my frustration about having to stop the plan. He told me I had “probably” torn a calf muscle as there was now a nice green bruise on the back of my leg. I need to rest it and recovery can take 4-6 weeks. Thanks doc, so exactly what I read on the internet then. I picked up the last of my pills (hopefully) and drove home, all the way craving chip shop chips, which of course I got along with a pie. Once you start this bloody junk eating its hard to stop.

I decided to attempt to get to work on Wednesday, I had dinner planned with a friend and I really didn’t want to cancel for a 3rd time. I walk pretty fast all the time, my walk to the train station usually takes me about 20 minutes and its all uphill, today it took forever, but at least I got a seat, the walk from the station to my office is around 10 minutes. It took me about an extra 25 minutes to get into work and I was exhausted, my good leg was aching and I felt like a right twat hobbling around the office, but it was nice to be out and about. My lovely work, showered me with some lovely gifts for my birthday and I met my friend for dinner so the pain was worth it.

I tried to keep myself moving, which I now realise this was a mistake as when I woke up on Thursday, my leg was throbbing, I messaged my boss and told him I was going to stay at home and rest it. I had my birthday drinks planned for Friday and I wasn’t bloody going to cancel that. So I settled down for the day with reality TV & cake.

Friday! Birthday drinks and also a friend at works 40th birthday. My leg felt better that yesterday I was going to get up early and get in and decorate her desk. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes as Wednesday so I decided I would catch a bus, then a tube, then a bus, this would mean a lot less walking. So I thought. The bus journey to the tube station takes around 45 minutes usually but this morning the bus was making good time, I started thinking to myself that maybe the bus would be the way forward for the summer months. About 5 minutes after having this thought, people started getting off the bus, we weren’t even at a stop, we were at traffic lights, why is everyone getting off? They’ve only gone and closed the road! Traffic wasnt even moving. I sat there for another 5 minutes or so and the bus was practically empty now. Dammit, I’m going to have to get off and do the 15 minute walk, which will take me at least 20, so off I hobbled. Luckily a tube arrived straight away and I got a seat. Yay!

Got off the tube and checked my app to see when the next bus would arrive. 19 Minutes. 19 Minutes!! It will take me that to walk to the office, sod it, so off I hobbled again only for the bus to overtake me. I honestly thought I was going to cry. I managed to get on a bus eventually but rather than get in early to decorate my friends desk, I actually got in late and my 1 hour journey took over 2 hours. Never again!! Tonight I get drunk!

Last night I made myself some overnight oats, which was actually a great trick as when I tried to have my usual argument with myself this morning about shall I exercise or stay in bed, I had to get up because I had to have my refuel meal. I decided to go up to level 3 on the Joe Wicks DVD, bloody hell, who thought that 5 seconds more could make such a difference? Feeling achey, but all please with myself, I got ready for work and enjoyed my oats

I was in pretty happy mood for a Monday, work was pretty quiet so I thought I would go online and look for some outfits for my birthday dinner with the boyfriend on Friday. I’m not sure if this was the trigger, as I did find it quite depressing looking at all these slim women and all these lovely dresses and knowing that I was not going to be able to wear any of them but suddenly the black cloud arrived, I had managed to avoid it for the last few days but now it was well and truly here.

By the time I finished work I was a really bad mood and I really didn’t know why!! I felt really fed up, angry & tearful. I wondered if it was a booze comedown from the weekend but I didn’t drink anymore than a normal weekend. I’m already blaming my boyfriend for being moody at the weekend and spending the entire time on the computer with the kids, I worked it out that the entire time the kids were awake and in the house, they were on the computer. Me, I just cleaned up.

I hated feeling like this and havent felt this bad since being on my tablets, it was literally a rollercoaster of emotions, by the time I got home I wanted to cry. To make matters worse, my boyfriend ended up having to work a bit late, which usually I wouldn’t care about and be happy to have the extra time to myself, but today I wanted him home, I don’t even know why as really I just wanted to shout at him for no reason whatsoever.

After being home for about an hour he messaged me to say he was on the train, so I decided to get dinner on the go. Normally I would offer to go and pick him up but I was so pissed off and fed up I decided he could walk for once. Childish I know.

He came home and seemed in a fairly good mood which made me feel a little bit better, we chatted a bit and he asked me how my day was, so I was honest and told him how I was feeling, I left out the part where he was to blame for everything that was wrong with the world, I didn’t think that would help matters. He gave me a big cuddle and we sat and had a nice chilled night together, along with my cheesy meatballs. Heres hoping to a better day tomorrow.

So as you know, week three got off to a wobbly start, but I was determined not to be beaten. I woke up on Friday, feeling refreshed and ready to go, I cracked on with a HIIT session and rewarded myself with some yummy pancakes.

They are seriously good, but soooo filling. I was on such a high after exercising I decided to try out the chicken satay for lunch, which was delicious and better than the one I had from the chinese takeaway the other week, but that was rubbish to be fair! You cannot see it in the pic but that contains a whole 120g bag of rocket and it wasnt even enough greens!!

Friday lunch went the usual way, the angel & devil in my head fighting out whether to go out to lunch, then my friend popped over to my desk and without thinking I suggested wine. Oh well. I still managed to go home and cook after meeting the boyfriends parents in the pub where they had taken the kids for dinner, more red wine! I tried out a new recipe, cod with Spicy peas. It was bloody lovely, it doesn’t look much in the picture but it was really tasty, definitely one to have again.

The only problem with knocking back all this red wine is that I felt a bit moody, the boyfriend was being snappy and miserable and I couldn’t cope with it so spent most of the evening sulking.

Saturday

Woke up the next morning, determined not to carry the misery on, my boyfriend was taking the kids to football and I was to do a HIIT workout, I was trying not to think about it and just get to it. It worked and I felt really good afterwards, I decided to have another go at the spanish omelette.

It tasted so much better this time, not burnt. It was still more of a hash than an omelette but it was lovely. I was meeting my friend for lunch and had arranged to go to Browns so that I could have a sirloin steak and some green veg. The boyfriend was now home and being even more miserable as he didn’t feel well, seriously! I said goodbye to the kids and left the house without saying goodbye to him, that will teach him. I met my friend but we forgot to book a table so that meant a 30 minute wait, which meant, you guessed it red wine, we had a great catch up, I forgot to ask for no chips with my steak and I ate them, dammit. Still I could be good for the rest of the day. I was feeling tired, hormonal so on my way home, I picked up more red wine and planned to sulk until my boyfriend apologised.

This didnt happen as I got home and just wanted to make up, I couldn’t bear the sulking. Unfortunately, the peace didn’t last long and another bicker ensued later on which led me to not have any dinner that night, I still made myself a cashew curry but put it in the fridge to have for lunch Monday & Tuesday. I was so wound up I wasnt really tired and he was like a nodding dog so went up to bed, I stayed downstairs for another 30 mins or so and when I went up he was still awake and said he wanted to wait up for me.

Sunday I woke up feeling a bit better, but not entirely sulk free. I decided to go for an interval run to see if this would help. I got up and made the kids some toast and off I went. Bloody hell, interval running is harder than normal running! I came back covered in sweat but in a slightly better mood. I got showered, made the kids a smoothie each with the help of one in their chef hat and made me and my boyfriend a spanish omelette and left them downstairs playing the computer while I ate my breakfast in relative piece. I came down a while later and decided to clean the kitchen. The kids asked for a milkshake, which the boyfriend agreed to, so I made this and cracked on scrubbing every surface and cleaning the floor to finish off. I kept reminding my boyfriend of the time as they had to be at his parents for dinner at 3pm as they do every other Sunday, then at 2pm he finally decides its time to get ready so off goes to the shower, leaving the kids with no instructions whatsoever. At 2.30pm I tell them to go and get ready as he is still upstairs doing god knows what and I cannot deal with him stomping around in a huff because they’re late. They go upstairs and then it begins, of course they’re not getting ready, they’re doing everything but. However, I am busy cleaning up after everyone and decide that since my boyfriend is upstairs, he can deal with it. After about 15 minutes of him asking them to get ready he comes downstairs and says to me “no more milkshakes” Everything is all my fault of course, perhaps if they hadn’t been on the computer since 8.30am this morning and got ready instead we wouldn’t be having this issue?

By the time they had all left the house, I was done cleaning the kitchen and decided on a cup of tea and a carb killa. Rock n Roll! I binge watched Ex on the Beach and had a lime and avocado smoothie for lunch, feeling very pleased with myself at having exercised and also not killing my boyfriend. I could feel it bubbling up inside me but I was determined not to cause an argument. I decided to do a fake tan and paint my nails to make myself feel better, I wanted to shake this fog. By the time he came home I was in a bit of a better mood I made him some chicken satay and at the last-minute decided I wanted a cheese and mushroom omelette, the evening went on with no sulking and we went to bed fine and dandy.

So things I learned from week 2 is mainly that I am incapable of giving up alcohol entirely, however, I have not let this get me down as this is supposed to be a lifestyle change and not a diet, I am also drinking a lot less than I was before I started this.

Week 3, I knew was going to get off to a rocky start. The boyfriend and I (I still can’t call him fiance, it makes me cringe) were going to a steak restaurant with his friend and his wife, they were big drinkers and there was no way I could sit there and watch everyone get drunk, I would have stabbed someone, I just don’t find anything as funny as drunk people when I am sober. I was so exhausted in the morning from my evening work out that I allowed myself to have a rest day which also meant lime and avocado for breakfast (YAY!) I was good with my food all day and then met my boyfriend after work for a few pre drinks as the table wasnt booked until 8pm. I decided to drink red wine in the pub as that was what I would be drinking with my steak. Unfortunately, by the time we got to the restaurant, everything became a bit hazy and I can’t really remember too much about the food. The boyfriend and I got a bus home and I decided I was going to be naughty and have a couple of chocolate biscuits when I got in as I had been off plan anyway, so two wouldn’t hurt, I didn’t have a dessert.

Wednesday

I woke up Wednesday morning feeling so pleased with myself, I avoided the chocolate biscuits! Hurrah, I am cured of my sweet tooth! I reached over for my phone and sprinkled myself with biscuit crumbs. DAMMIT!! Not only had I had the much coveted chocolate biscuits, I could even remember enjoying them!! What a waste. I spent so much time mourning this that I ended up running late for work, another smoothie for breakfast it is. Oh crap, I had been too lazy to make up another lunch yesterday morning, even though I’d had time and now I had to do that as well. I rustled up some lean muscle mince and left, 30 minutes later than I should have. Oops.

Now, I never get hangovers, never. But today my body decided to bring one on. Great. I really just wanted to go home, work wasnt particularly busy which was annoying as the day dragged on even more. I was even more excited as I had a night in to myself. By 12pm I knew there was only one thing that would help my situation. More wine. I met a friend at lunch and caught up over a couple of glasses, I felt better, now I was just tired. After what seemed like an eternity, 5pm came round and I was soon in my PJs on the sofa with my cheese and mushroom omelette. I cannot even describe the battle I had with myself over this and Chips and cheese on toast with ketchup.

It did the job and I ended up going to bed at 8.30 to watch TV and falling asleep pretty much straight away.

Thursday

Woke up at 3am having horrible dreams that the boyfriend broke up with me, really struggled to get back to sleep so when my alarm went off at 5am, there was no way I was capable of doing a HIIT session, I could just about stand up. Another smoothie it is then. Along with the rest of my lean muscle mince and the UK supply of Kale

Seriously, I had to eat all of that. Another slow day and I think I may be a bit hormonal and I was feeling guilty that I was three days into the week and hadn’t done any exercise.

I was looking forward to an evening indoors with my boyfriend and having a chicken stir fry which was bloody good if I do say so myself.

Its Friday, Hurrah! I have been so excited about my weekend this week as I have zero plans!! I am in such a good mood!! I got up and done a HIIT session and treated myself to some pancakes, today is going to be good.

That didn’t last long, I’ve been having issues with a friend of mine and I’ve been noticing over the years how one-sided our friendship is, I have been upset before but I am kind of over it now as it is what it is, however, now I am no longer showing an interest in the friendship, I am finding her to be quite manipulative and she has even gone as far as saying that I havent seen her son for ages and he wants to see me, basically trying to guilt trip me. I am fuming, I was so angry about this, I needed to let off some steam, so I ended up enjoying a couple of glasses of red wine at lunch with friends and furiously texting my other friend/unofficial life coach. I stuck to my lunch plans but sadly ended up meeting my boyfriend for a few drinks after work and getting rather worse for wear and eating a cheeseburger and some chips and falling asleep on the sofa. No pictures of that I am afraid.

Saturday

After waking up on the sofa at midnight and sending myself to bed, I woke up Saturday feeling ok-ish. I decided to have a lazy day today, my boyfriend was going to play golf so I had the TV to myself. I made myself a nice cheese and mushroom omelette, that should see me through until lunch time.

My body was screaming for sugar, it must have been the wine last night. Dammit! Plus I knew there were biscuits and chocolate in the cupboard, I want some!!!!!! I knew I should’ve saved myself a grenade bar!! I managed to refrain and instead asked my boyfriend to pick up some coke zeros, as I am allowed 2 per day. I think I exhausted myself with my battle of will power as I actually fell asleep in the afternoon and when my boyfriend come back I made the chicken cashew curry which has become a firm favourite.

I was happy, I managed to not give in to my cravings, I have always been a bit of secret eater and would sneak food when I was in the house alone, but for the first time in my life I managed to stay strong. Yay Me!

Sunday

Sunday was housework day, I was supposed to do a HIIT session, but decided by the time I had done all the house work, I would be to tired, so I easily talked myself out of that one. I convinced my boyfriend to join me in a guilt free fry up, he was slightly concerned about eating steak for breakfast, but he enjoyed it so much he wants it this week!!

As I couldn’t have a roast dinner, which I am surprised to be missing, I decided to give the sausage and beef casserole a go in the slow cooker, although I think I may have put a bit too much water in so I’ll have to try that one again.

Monday

Monday came around, but I felt like I had had a really nice chilled weekend so I was raring to go on Monday, I had a HIIT session planned for the evening so for breakfast I decided to give the reduced carb oats a go.

They were strange, I think I would give them another go, but the verdict was out on those. I came home that night and got straight into a HIIT session followed by a protein shake as I was starving!! Then I tried out the Paprika chicken and potatoes, delish. Another one for the make again list.

So week 2 is done, I should have done one more HIIT session really but I was pretty good with my food (apart from the burger & chips) I’m still drinking more than I should though and need to make more of an effort with this. I’m worried as my birthday is coming up and I have lots of lunches and dinners planned, I need to stay focused!!!

So week 1 is done, I could have done better but I could have eaten and exercised normally and been a lot worse. I am still really enjoying it, which is weird, I feel like I would usually give up by now but I am excited. I have picked up a few things on the way too, so for anyone thinking of trying this, here’s how to make it a little easier on yourself.

Plan your week in advance – It’s difficult to plan too far in advance as things come up but planning the following week should be easy, this way you know what to shop for, plan ahead for any nights out and when you’re best to exercise.

Order your shopping online – I’ve always been a bit weary of this, fearing ridiculous substitutes etc but its brilliant, I have been using Sainsburys now for 2 months and do not have one complaint, the last thing I want to do is be traipsing around a shop when I am not at work.

Batch cook – I kept reading people banging on about this and whilst I do enjoy cooking my dinners, lunch meals can be a bit of a ball ache at 6am when you have to make breakfast as well. This week I did it purely because I had some leftovers from dinners but I will certainly be doing it again this week.

Join groups on social media – I joined every Facebook group I could find, they’re all closed so it wont pop up in anyones news feed (unless they are in the group too) and its so supportive, they have really helped me through when I was feeling crappy about myself and seeing everyone’s results really does spur you on. Everyone shares their tips on there (Grenade Bars!!) and its great if you want to know if something you’re doing or feeling is right or wrong. I’ve become a bit of a bodycoach bore and dont want to keep harping on to my boyfriend so its nice to have like-minded people available if you need them.

Buy frozen fruit and vegetables where possible. They last longer, I was throwing out so much fresh stuff it was upsetting.

Tuesday

I felt so exhausted this morning, I decided to give the HIIT session I had planned a miss, I decided to squeeze one in at the weekend instead. Sadly no pancakes this morning because of this, but I did get to have my Lime & Avocado smoothie yay!!

I really really love this smoothie, it tastes so good and its so quick and easy to make, I will definitely still make this when I am off the plan. As I mentioned before, I’ve joined some groups on Facebook for the plan and picked up a tip that there were these things called Grenade Bars which I could have as a snack twice per week, apparently they were a real treat, so on my way to work I went into Holland & Barratts & bought 4, roll on 10am when I could have my snack (this is a time I imposed on myself, it doesn’t actually tell you when to eat) 10am came around and I chose the white chocolate cookie one, I absolutely LOVE white chocolate, would this really be as good as everyone is saying? SWEET JESUS YES!! They were bigger than a normal chocolate bar & tasted soooooo good. It took all my strength to leave the other ones in my drawer.

I had managed to batch cook some lunches this week and stock them in the fridge. I had gone with the spicy lean turkey mince which I had last week yum yum yum (still thinking about the grenade bars though) Tonight my boyfriend and I had tickets to see a comedian at Royal Albert Hall. I had asked the Facebook group which places were best to eat and what to have, I was told either Nandos or Sirloin Steak with green veg. My boyfriend loves both these so we decided on Nandos. Having messaged my support hero earlier in the week querying alcohol, the general view is try not to have it but if you do try to stick at the eating. I was having it! So I enjoyed a butterfly chicken with Macho Peas & a few glasses of red, then fell asleep in the taxi home.

Wednesday

I woke up feeling groggy and exhausted, I didn’t enjoy this!! I snoozed for an hour (oops) and finally dragged myself out of bed for another smoothie. I had already planned today as a rest day but didnt have time to make the cheese & mushroom omelette I had planned for breakfast. I grabbed the lean muscle mince from the fridge which I had prepared on Monday and off to work I went. I met a friend for coffee at lunch, I hate coffee so I had a coke zero, my friend had a turmeric latte, which I tasted, it was amazing, I’m going to find out if I am allowed these!! I came back and caved in to another grenade bar, chocolate fudge brownie mmm mmm mmm!! No more until next Tuesday now 😦 I had my best friend over for dinner and decided to have another go at the chicken stir fry as last time I didnt have all the correct ingredients. It came out absolutely delicious!! I did share a bottle of red wine with her but by my standards that’s not a lot of booze at all.

Thursday

Why am I so tired??? I havent exercised since Monday? I knew I had a HIIT planned for after work, which I was worried about, I’m never any good in the evenings, but the thing keeping me going are the carb dinners. I don’t think I could eat huge bits of meat and rice in the morning. Due to my unexplained tiredness I got up a bit later, which led me to have another delicious smoothie for breakfast (shame) I met my friend for lunch and actually managed to have a diet coke!! I did suggest wine, but she was very strict so diet coke it was 🙂 I went home that evening focused on doing my HIIT. I had decided to go up to level 2 on the DVD, I had done a week on level 1 now and I knew I could do better. I actually did, I was surprised and at how determined I was and it definitely helps that I knew I could have rice afterwards, these things really do keep me going!! I was SWEATING! I jumped in the shower and had my first ever protein shake, it was odd, kind of like milk. I’m not really a milk drinker apart from milkshakes, I think I thought it was going to be thicker but it had the consistancy of milk. For dinner I was excited to make spicy prawns with rice, I only started eating prawns in the last few years and I love them. The dinner did not disappoint, I will definately be having that one again!

So I am now 10 days into the plan and I have to say I am still enjoying it. I really enjoy the cooking and trying the new recipes and the exercising, although exhausting, is over so quickly I feel a sense of achievement afterwards, even if I do swear at Joe Wicks the entire way through his DVD.

surprisingly, I am still on the plan. Usually, after the weekend I would have given in. Dont get me wrong, I wobbled but I was the best I have been in a very long time.

Friday

Yay! Its Friday. I got up and completed a HIIT session, go me! I rewarded myself with some bloody delicious pancakes, they would definitely be enough to make me exercise!!

I was supposed to have a salad for lunch which I hadn’t tried but after yesterdays debacle, I decided to have Lime & Avocado smoothie instead, which surprisingly kept me full! Plus it was easier to make, this is definitely my saviour non carb meal for when I am in a rush. For dinner I made a Beef & Sausage casserole (which I forgot to take a pic of – don’t worry I’ll be making another) I really enjoyed it, it felt like a proper dinner, the boyfriend wasnt so sure, especially when he found out they were turkey sausages!! Although the food was really nice, I was in a god awful mood over the last couple of days snappy and moody, kept apologising to my boyfriend, who was luckily understanding.

Saturday

I was apprehensive about Saturday, I was going to my friends to have my nails done at lunch time so I made myself a cheese & mushroom omelette with Spinach for breakfast (yum) and took some nuts with me to eat whilst I was thereI spent most of the time, telling my friend that I was going to the pub this afternoon to meet one of my boyfriends friends who I hadn’t met before and that I was absolutely going to drink diet coke. I must have gone over this about 20 times, obviously I was more trying to convince myself. When I got home I made myself a go-go green smoothie for lunch, I hadnt had one before but it was quick and I need to get up the pub for the diet coke (yay) The smoothie can only be described in one way, weird. It had almond butter in it, I like this but not in a drink?! I tried my best to drink it all but only managed half and scuttled down the pub, which is only a 5 minute walk from my house. I spent those 5 minutes with the angel and devil on each shoulder battling it out over having wine. As soon as I sat down I said to my boyfriend “I want wine” He returned with a glass of diet coke, damn him. I had told him under no circumstances give me wine, why was he choosing to pay attention now? I went on and on and on and on. So when it was his friends round he bought me a wine. As soon as it was in front of me, I regretted it. I didn’t even really want one, it was more the fact I couldn’t have one. What am I, five? I’ll just have this one and go home. Four wines later, my guilt free fry up I was due to have for dinner was out the window and I was ordering an indian takeaway, 2 hours later I was passed out on the sofa. Fail.

Sunday

Woke up on Sunday feeling like an utter failure, moping around the house and being moody because I was frustrated and annoyed with myself. I was going to a wedding fair with my mum that afternoon, so I made a smoothie, the non nut one! and off we went, we had a drink at the wedding fair and despite there being a fully stocked bar I managed to have and actually want a diet coke, the guilt from yesterday still lingering like a bad smell. When I got home I decided no more moping and I would have that guilt free fry up after all.

It was delicious, I will absolutely be having that again!! For dinner I made a chicken cashew curry which was lovely but really spicy! Not sure if I will be able to bring it to work.

For my sunday afternoon snack, I decided to have a go at the mousse dessert as I still wanted to something sweet, this involves sugar-free jelly and cottage cheese, which I was allowed to substitute for Greek Yoghurt. I got quite excited about this, finally a dessert! I let it set until about 9pm when I leapt up and removed the almost set dessert, did I mention the amount? No? Well it filled a whole lasagne tray, yes, you read that correctly, a tray for a lasagne for 2 people. This was the portion of mousse I was told to eat, as a snack. Believe me, I gave it a good go, but got halfway through and admitted defeat. I plan to try this again next weekend and have half after lunch and the other half after dinner. (What has my life become?) Sunday was a lot more successful than Saturday, I wish I had fit some exercise in but I’ll make up for it tomorrow.

Monday

Up and at em! My final day of Cycle 1 Week 1. I was raring to go and got a hiit done at 5.30am. I decided to reward myself with a spanish omelette for breakfast. It took quite a bit longer than anticipated and didnt come out how I had imagined.

It was more like a hash and some bits were slightly overcooked (burnt) it was lovely and filled me up but not sure I am a fan of onions in the morning. This one I’ll have as a lunch or dinner in future. For lunch, I made the lean muscle mince, which I had for dinner last week, it was easy to make and can easily be warmed up at work, as well as being tasty. Dinner was something I had been looking forward to and almost missed in my plan as it was near the back. Cheesy Piri Piri Meatballs. With a shopload of Kale.

The Kale actually went really well with it and the sauce, which is made from scratch thank you very much, was lovely and had a real kick to it.

So all in all my first week went fairly well, it could have been better, but then again it could have been worse! The positive thing is that I learned a lot and have found some lovely recipes that I enjoy. I joined some Facebook groups too which are sooooo supportive and really do help keep you motivated. Plus all of my friends are being really positive and supportive, which I didn’t expect, I thought they would be getting bored of all my food pics to be honest! On the exercise front, I managed four workouts which I am pretty pleased with and I already feel slightly less wobbly. Bring on week two!

I finally did it, I joined the Body Coach’s 90 day SSS Plan, which I have been banging on about for ages. Heres how I started.

I made the payment on the Monday and received a questionnaire to complete about my lifestyle etc. Oh shit, it was asking what I had eaten in the last 7 days. Knowing I was starting the plan, I had (another) final binge! I had literally eaten and drank like someone who had come back from a desert island. Three takeaways, chocolate & LOTS of wine, I really wanted to add at the bottom “please don’t judge me, I was final bingeing!!” I answered honestly and I also had to include photos of my front, side & back, I do not wish that viewing on anyone!! Once that was done I was told I would receive my plan within 3-5 working days.

After 2 days of checking my emails like a psycho, it came through on the Thursday, I was so excited!! I went home that night and planned my meals for the following week, went onto Sainsburys and ordered my food, ready for a Monday start. Heres how my first week went:

Monday

Woke up HANGING. I never get hangover, but I guess when you drink for 3 days solid it’s going to happen. Luckily, I hadn’t scheduled a HIIT session in today, so I dragged myself downstairs to make my first meal. Scrambled Eggs with cheese and tomatoes. My body wasnt having any of it, I got as far as the scrambled eggs but that was it, so I ate them plain. For lunch it was Chicken with Oranges & Peppers, cooked it packed it in my bag and off to work I went, hoping to feel better soon, I was shattered. I soon realised that I was going to feel better until I had some more sleep, so off back home I went, leaving my lunch in the fridge. I needed junk today, that was the only way through it, I stopped off and picked up some chocolate and spent the rest of the day on the sofa munching and watching TV. When my boyfriend came home I did make the dinner I had planned which was chicken cashew curry, but I had rice, might as well, I’d eaten everything else! Start properly tomorrow.

Tuesday

Woke up at 5.30 feeling fresh and ready to do some hiit training. Took the laptop into the kitchen to finally use the Body Coach DVD I had bought a while ago. Switched the laptop on and it started to update, it stayed on 15% forever so I gave up on the DVD and did one of the hiit sessions in the book. After I had showered I made myself some breakfast, a build up bagel, this one was slightly different to the one in his book, plus I had left some stuff out before but now I was going to have the whole lot.

As you can see, it is HUGE. I could only manage to eat half of it and I felt pretty queasy after. I had a snack of nuts about 10am and then for lunch I had the chicken orange and pepper salad from yesterday, it was ok but I’m not really a salad fan, plus I was still full from that colossal bagel. I had an apple about 4pm as a snack (you need to have 2 snacks a day, which for me will be 30g nuts & a piece of fruit) For dinner I had lean muscle mince, I was a bit unsure whilst making it as it had bbq sauce in and I’m not overkeen on it I was to have this with kale, A LOT of kale. I can’t tell you how many times I checked the recipe as I couldn’t even fit all the kale on my plate, it was pretty much a whole pack, but I ate it and it was all actually delicious. I was really craving sugar though, you cant even have it in tea, which is what I usually have if I want something sweet.

Wednesday

Even more raring to go this morning and a bit more organised after a nice early night. I got the DVD on Oh. My. God. That was hard! I was only on level one, I thought I was much fitter than that. Jesus. Had my breakfast of overnight oats, which I had made the night before. It was divine! Plus it was quite sweet so gave me my sugar hit. Bonus. Got to work and received some idiotic emails, I do wonder how some people dress themselves in the morning without asking someone how to do it, for some reason I felt a huge anger in me for most of the morning. My lunch was spicy lean turkey mince, I’d been a bit dubious in the morning whilst cooking this, as I had never had turkey mince before, it looked weird, however it was yummy, so another meal I really enjoyed. I had a friend coming over for dinner and had stated that I wasnt drinking but she could if she wanted to. On the way home from work I had an argument with my boyfriend, nothing huge just silly, we were both tired and irritable, but it was enough to send me over the edge and into a (few) glasses of wine. Oops. I did however stick to making the chicken stir fry, which was nice but I forgot to put a couple of things in, so need to try that one again.

Thursday

Alarm goes off at 5, my legs and arms feel like lead, there is no way I can do a workout, I’m in too much pain. I resolve to swap my rest day and exercise on Saturday instead, this meant also swapping breakfast, so instead of protein pancakes, I would be having a lime and avocado smoothie. It was delicious, another one for the list, there was lots of it and I was concerned it was going to fill me up but it did, I even had my morning snack a bit later than usual. I was really really dubious about the lunch, but I wanted to try new things. I had gone for the chicken and cauliflower salad, I made a few errors in making this, firstly, I think I should have used more oil cooking the cauliflower and also chopped them smaller as they came out looking like they’d been in a pub brawl, secondly, it said you needed courgette ribbons and carrot ribbons, well I only had them whole, so I chopped them into sticks. Later on I read that you can use a peeler to make ribbons. DOH. I also had a to make a dressing, now I am not a fan of dressing but I thought I would be brave and give it a go. The dressing consisted of greek yoghurt, a splash of water and tahini. Do you know what tahini is, because I didn’t, on the jar it mentioned humus, which I despise, but when I read it, it said sesame seed paste. It couldn’t be that bad! I think I had worked myself up a little bit about this as I ate the chicken and picked at the veg. I’ll give this one another go maybe at home where I can make something else on plan if I decide against it. As you can see it does not look very appetising! I was quite excited to make my dinner of teriyaki salmon, I’ve only just started eating salmon over the last couple of years and quite enjoy it. I was having it with Courgetti which I had never had before. The boyfriend said the salmon’s flavour was impaired as I had frozen it (to avoid it going off) I didn’t think there was enough teriyaki flavour and the courgetti was a bit watery, I’ll still give this one another go too though.

So after getting off to a rocky start, I feel like I am getting into it now.