My 3-Year-Old Daughter Dresses Like a Preschool Pimp

My 3-year-old daughter now picks her clothes because I have learned to pick my battles.

When I made wardrobe purchases for her, disappointment invariably ensued on the one day she attended preschool each week.

"Bad daddy!" she actually said once, holding up a pair of mute-toned sweatpants that were apparently so toddler yesterday.

So Skylar and I now shop together -- which, I must say, makes looking through size 4 Disney Princess underwear packages feel a lot less pedophile-y. (P.S. My wife works all day, since she is the real man in our household.)

Advertisement

As long as they're in the sales rack at Kohl's, I'm down with whatever ridiculous choices Skylar makes. An Elmo sweatshirt? That would go great with your favorite skirt and a blue Mickey Mouse floppy hat. Neon pink Dora the Explorer shoes? Even better. And she gets to wear them in any combination that makes her happy.

And why the hell not? It's no reflection on me if she wants to dress like a preschool pimp. And why should I care if it were? Who's going to have a negative opinion of me? The other preschool kids? The 20 yentas and nannies who protested last Halloween's naughty leopard toddler costume at story time in our local mall?

Funnily enough, I just started noticing all the other parents who must have come to a similar conclusion about achieving household detente. Some days at preschool, it looks like that year in the '80s when Reagan released all the mental patients onto the streets.