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These days there’s not a lot you can count on. Except for man’s best friend, feline, and feathered pal. So, what could be better than getting a new leash on life during these troubled economic times?

The editors at Bird Talk claim there are “shopaholic” bird owners who must have the latest toys for their feathered friends but come up short on the big expenses, such as vet bills. But after counseling these spendthrifts to set up their budgets, the magazine follows up with an annual buyer’s guide full of gifts that make us feel bad for the bird. What parrot wants to wear a faux leopard-print body wrap? The good thing is that you can use the magazine to line the cage when you’re done.

Former Treasury chief Hank Paulson, a devoted bird watcher, claims that our avian friends can ease stress during calamities like economic meltdowns. Pet fish might soothe some even more. Viacom chief Sumner Redstone tells visitors he gets great solace from his huge office aquarium, which could be a good cover story for a future issue of Aquarium. The magazine this month is swept up in the latest underwater craze — the psychedelic-colored Harlequin Tusk- fish — with its cover spread: “Harlequin Romance — Fall in Love With Tuskfish.” Plunging deeper, you’ll find a startling world, and an enthusiastic crowd of devotees who spend hundreds of millions annually on the marvels of transferring aquatic life onto land and keeping it alive. The issue features in-depth reports on several exquisite and bizarre-looking creatures that turn water tanks into captivating wonderlands, symbols of what we stand to lose by poisoning our oceans and lakes.

Pawing through Cat Fancy seems to confirm there’s not much to be said about cats that’s new and interesting on a monthly basis. We’ll grant that there’s a nice piece about small, wild felines like the Flat-Headed Cat and the Bay Cat of Borneo. But the bulk of this magazine is composed of bland tips on diet and grooming that offer little more than common sense. Most “features” amount to a product catalog for toys and accessories — many of them bulky, overpriced and downright dumb.

Dog Fancy is a much more fun, intelligent, and adorable read. The latest issue has respectable if not entirely unique pieces on dog-sitting services and a holiday gift review package. But Dog Fancy also surprises with articles delving into the existential and psychological — one asks if your dog is kosher, while another examines dogs that suffer from such human sleeping disorders as narcolepsy (suddenly falling into a deep sleep) or cataplexy (remaining in a state of constant alertness). The magazine also won points for its piece on unusual canine careers like locating buried sea turtle nests, but lost significant credibility with its “Celeb Bites” column about celebrity dog owners.

On Oct. 27, The Post’s Keith Kelly was the first to report on simmering tensions at the New York Times between wunderkind Wall Street reporter Andrew Ross Sorkin and other senior staffers. But we must give props to a breakout piece in this week’s New York, which digs up some tasty details on the squabbling between Sorkin and Times reporter Don Van Natta. One question is over who first obtained the now-famous “secret” ethics waiver given to ex-Treasury head Paulson to negotiate with his alma mater, Goldman Sachs. “Don’t you trust me?” Sorkin asked Van Natta, according to the magazine. “No, I don’t trust you,” Van Natta replied. “I’m a reporter.”

The New Yorker‘s veteran political muckraker Seymour Hersh declares that the Obama administration “has been negotiating highly sensitive understandings with the Pakistan military.” We weren’t sure exactly what highly sensitive understandings were, as sexy as they sounded. Still, Hersh’s deep excursions into US foreign policy are compelling, particularly on nuclear weapons.

Newsweek is doing it again — showing its gray hair and its (we have to think this is just the way it’s going to be, despite our regular efforts to get the eds to consider changing their orientation) disregard for readers under the age of say, 50. Sure, this week’s cover story on “How We (Could Have) Won In Vietnam” draws plenty of parallels with the current situation in Afghanistan. But for a magazine that’s desperate to attract educated young readers, this flirts dangerously with fogeyism.

Hillary Clinton has been awfully quiet thus far in her role as Secretary of State, and Time‘s cover story by Joe Klein provides a good, pointed analysis of her performance to date. He wonders when her more pragmatic approach may come into conflict with what he calls President Obama’s “Rodney King — ‘Can’t we all just get along?’ — phase.” Time delivers an excellent report an the world’s endangered tuna that may give readers pause the next time they order a six-pack of spicy rolls, or pick up a can for the cat on the way home.