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Ongoing Errors

Despite rather a lot of evidence to the contrary I keep sliding back into thinking/believing that I’m relatively normal. Then something happens and I’m reminded once again that not only am I not remotely normal, I don’t even fake it terribly well. I can just about manage SF-geek-and-computer-nerd-normal, if you don’t look too close, but really? I’m one of those weirdos normal people cross the street to avoid if they figure it out.

More to the point, I’m fine with this. I tried changing my personality to be more normal. It ended badly.

But it taught me a hell of a lot about knowing who you are and what matters to you, so on balance it’s a valuable experience.

But despite all of that, every now and then I’ll find myself reading about some breathtaking act of idiocy (Einstein was right. Stupidity really has no bounds) and wondering how anyone could possibly think that was a good idea. Then I’ll see all the supportive comments and start thinking the world is full of morons.

Then I’ll remember. No, these are normal people. I’m the weirdo. Just because it looks ridiculously stupid to me doesn’t mean it looks that way to other people.

“Normal” is over-rated and boring. I’m a weirdo, too, and I’d rather be the way I am than try to be normal. Yes, it means that it’s incredibly difficult for me to have any kind of relationship with most people and that most my friends are from Facebook and have weirdness that lines up well with mine.

First, it could mean “average” in the sense of conforming to those attributes which are shared by the most people. I’m not that.

Second, it could me “expected” in the sense of conforming to those attributes which are believed to be average by the largest number of people. I’m not that, either.

Third, it could mean “functional” in the sense of having those attributes which permit accomplishing those tasks required in order to operate within the necessary parameters. That I feel I have achieved, at no little cost and over quite a bit of time.