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Freddy Got Fingered (UK - DVD R2)

Freddy Got Fingered? That's nothing compared to what I'll do to him for making me sit through this film!!!

Introduction The blurb on the back of the packaging describes Freddy Got Fingered as having 'Many hilarious scenes'. Quick, somebody call Advertising Standards!

Film The plot of Freddy Got Fingered, if in fact it can be called a plot, revolves around a thoroughly repugnant character named Gord (played by Tom Green) and his attempts to move out of his parents' basement to realise his dreams of becoming an animator. To this end, Gord heads off to Hollywood and finds himself working in a cheese factory whilst trying to sell ideas for various cartoons. When his dreams come crashing down around him, Gord realises he’s a useless failure and returns home to his parents and younger brother ( American Pie’s Eddie Kaye Thomas).

What follows is a series of indescribably poor set pieces, the likes of which I have never before seen, loosely strung together with the cartoonist ‘plot’. I guess I should have known what I was in for after, in the opening minutes of the film, Green’s character stops his car near a stud farm in order to manually masturbate a horse while screaming 'I’m a farmer!' Not long after this he’s standing on a table in a cheese factory waving a huge piece of salami around like a giant penis. Stop it. My sides are splitting. As if these ‘hilarious’ episodes weren’t enough, other comedic gems include Green ‘wearing’ a disembowelled deer, swinging a newborn baby over his head by the umbilical cord (before biting through said cord with his own teeth) and sticking his tongue into a compound fracture. Comedy genius! There’s also a nice running ‘gag’ in which a small child suffers a number of horrific injuries.

Freddy Got Fingered is without doubt one of the worst films I have ever seen, and certainly the worst in recent memory. Now I know there are those out there who suggest that the film is a work of genius, some kind of surrealistic masterpiece that most people simply don’t get, but that is a load of old cobblers. This film is trash from start to finish. Now I may not be the world’s biggest ‘gross out’ comedy fan, but I did quite enjoy the American Pie films and their ilk. However, Freddy Got Fingered shares nothing in common with these films, devoid, as it is, of anything even remotely resembling humour. As far as I can tell, this film simply aims to offend as many people as possible, and I’m sure it had a very high success rate. However, as someone who is almost impossible to offend (no subject is taboo as far as I’m concerned), the film didn’t even elicit an emotional response from me. I was utterly bored throughout the whole, thankfully short, affair, and the only smile I managed throughout the whole film was when my girlfriend announced, after twenty minutes, that she could take no more and was going to bed. I wish I could have joined her, but unfortunately I had to sit through the rest of this drivel, if only so I could warn others not to make the mistake of renting, buying or even accepting a free copy of this tripe.

Video In stark contrast to the feature itself, the video transfer is actually pretty good. It’s not quite up to the standards set by the best Fox transfers, but if the film had been anywhere near as good as the video then it would have been a pretty decent comedy. On the negative side, I found the image a little soft, and colours looked a little washed out in some scenes. I also noticed a few specks here and there, which surprised me given the age of the film. However, this is still a good effort overall.

Audio While the Dolby Digital 5.1 track is fine for the most part, I was disappointed with the volume. It actually necessitated turning my amp up a full five points higher than normal. Dialogue is clear though, and the frequent use of the surround channels adds some much needed energy the proceedings (I was in danger of nodding off at time due to the lack of plot). The tunes used throughout the film are all fine, as are the sound effects, although bass is perhaps a little weak for my liking. Not a bad mix overall, but not loud enough for my liking!

Extras The commentary track from Tom Green is moronic to say the least. Green obviously knows the film is a steaming pile of horse cack, and makes no pretence about it. With that said, the commentary is still more entertaining than the main feature.

The second ‘commentary’ track is a live recording taken at the world premiere of the film. I can only assume that the audience for this screening consisted primarily of people deemed too stupid to appear on Jerry Springer, as I simply refuse to believe that this is a ‘typical’ American audience. Quite why they laugh is beyond me, but laugh they do, at even the most insipid of ‘jokes’.

A short, extremely lightweight ‘Making of’ featurette is included, which is introduced by Green (who sets new standards as the most annoying host ever). A longer, slightly more amusing ‘MTV Special’ is also included, which includes far more behind the scenes footage and more prolonged footage of Green acting the fool.

A number of deleted scenes follow. If you consider how shockingly bad the final version of the film is, you may wonder just how bad these scenes had to be in order to merit their exclusion. Don’t bother. A three-minute ‘PG’ rated version of the film is also included, complete with Disney-esque voiceover, which is even more pointless then the main feature. The whole thing is rounded off with some TV spots, a theatrical trailer and cast and crew bios.

Overall The mind boggles as to what sort of person would gain anything from watching this movie. The fact that I saw a couple of teenagers in my local supermarket excitedly rushing to the checkout with their copy only serves to reinforce my concerns about the youth of today. If this is the kind of crap they enjoy, we’re all doomed! Poor acting, terribly boring and completely lacking in wit are just some of the criticisms I could levy at the film, but at the end of the day, why would I bother? I am never going to reclaim the eighty-seven minutes of my life lost to this disaster, and I can only hope that this review will spare others from enduring the torture that is Freddy Got Fingered. In spite of good audio-visual presentation, and a reasonable selection of extras, this is still a total catastrophe. I implore you not to buy this disc, unless of course you have an all-consuming desire to witness Tom Green hammering a disabled girl’s legs with a piece of bamboo in return for oral sex.

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