Monday, December 29, 2008

Today is the first day in the week that I've been off that I did not have to set an alarm to get up early because of an obligation that day. I celebrated by staying in bed until 11, drinking much too much coffee so far today, and plan to stay in pajamas until this evening, or perhaps all day. I am giddy with the thought of Nothing on my plate today. HOORAY, SLOTH!!!!

Our Christmas was good, even though I sort of stumbled through it all in a kind of My God, Is It Really December? haze. For some reason, I'm just not feeling it this year - I don't know if it's the stress, or the meds, or the fact that the weather has varied wildly from highs near 80 to lows in the 30's over the past couple of weeks. I'm kind of relieved it's over, but sad that I didn't enjoy it like I normally do each year - I didn't even get all weepy over cheesy holiday commercials and It's A Wonderful Life. And it's just not Christmas without unexplained crying jags!

The highlight of the past week has been spending time with Jamie and her husband Chris. It really, truly did my heart good to hang out with My Best Girl, even if our proposed Pie-Making Tutorial devolved into Let's Sit Around And Gossip And Drink Coffee (but those are the best kinds of diversions).

Let me digress into a backstory which, trust me, is worth it, so just stick with me here:

So. J's grandmother is a notorious hoarder and garage sale queen. Our Christmas gift each year consist sof, literally, a box of crap that she has collected from rummage sales from the past year (or ten years ago). Last year we received a replica of a Spanish galleon with sails made out of old Pepsi cans. Seriously.

About a month ago, she sent J a large box of "work shirts". Upon opening it, after the fumes of Old and mothballs had cleared the air, we discovered a portal to the past: garage sale finds from 20+ years ago. The atrocity of this collection cannot be put into words, and so without further ado:

Chris and J's Impromptu Fashion Show Of Horrors

I should note that at this point in the evening, no alcohol had yet been consumed. Also, should you ever chance to meet J in person, I would recommend not mentioning this incident right off the bat, as that could result in him divorcing me (ha).

I have NO idea what possessed them to play dress up, but it was the most hilarious thing Jamie or I had seen in a looooooong time. Even the appearance of a camera - evidence! - did not deter them; I think the siren call of the Rayon, Polyester, and western wear circa Urban Cowboy was too much.

That was the best night I've had in a long time. No possible explanation for the fashion show, but sometimes, the mood strikes everyone, I guess!

The most hilarious part was when the two guys kept commenting, "This one's really not that bad!" No. It REALLY is, dear. You cannot keep it. Even if you think you can get the rust stains left by 20 years on a wire hanger out. Even if you can get the terrible smell of Old Garage Sale out.