I literally have not blogged for a week but I have legit reasons for that! Now I'm back with my *drumroll* completed camp post! You could tell by the title of this entry so yeah, that was anti-climatic. I might be going out later tonight to go house visiting, so obviously I'll try to finish up this post by then. I just realised my phone is upstairs and it has the note with all the information on what happened on all days. But oh well, let's see if I can remember anything. (PS: If anyone wants their name removed from my blog for whatever reason please text me personally or leave a comment or something!!) (PPS: If it wasn't obvious enough from the previous post on my blogabout Day 0 of this camp, this is the NUS NURSING FOC ok!! Not Union Camp or any of the other camps)

----- DAY 1 -----The Maze Runner

I had a hugeass bag and a shoebag with my waterbottle & sleeping bag inside and I had to carry that onto the MRT. There were very few seats left despite me being first in line at the MRT station, and us being the first MRT station on the line. Damn you MRT rebounders!! So I got a seat and sat all the way to Buona Vista and damn, the station was crowded as hell. I didn't get a seat from here to Kent Ridge but that's alright. I shot Ode a text and she happened to have arrived a few minutes before I did so she waited for me!! We took the bus to LT28 and then she went to her OG(3) and I went to mine (I'm OG5). Weixiong asked me if I was Caucasian or mixed lol like on day 0 he asked me if I was Chinese or Malay then now this? (But after so many days together I think it's pretty clear I'm pure Malay) So first we played some icebreakers which I thought was unnecessary since we had pretty much broken any ice. But another person came!! Hannah!! She didn't make it for Day 0 so yeah this was the first time we met her. We had to go back soon after for a super boring (but informative) NUHS Sponsorship Talk.

Chit, Marjorie, Kidman & Weixiong -- Spot me in the back lol

Dina left before this happened for a medical checkup and we were supposed to have lunch so instead I sat with some of the other Muslims at camp. We had station games afterwards and I don't even remember what those were but I vaguely recall a station where we had to find some stuff that the station masters hid? That's hahaha shit I suck it's been exactly a week and I forgot the exact details already. I think there might have been a station where we had to finish a huge tub of ice cream in 10 minutes (blindfolded!!) That all took less than three hours and we just lepaked a bit, had dinner with the OG and played first impressions!! That was my first time playing that.

Some pictures from the station games!!

Meet Dina!!!!

Meet Amanda (Eli's cousin!!!) and Keely!!

Then we finally packed up and hauled our bags and took the bus to Eusoff Hall. We were playing the traffic light game?? It's not exactly a game but we kinda guessed each others' status before stating what we are. Were people shocked that I'm evergreen? There's a couple of evergreen people including me, a few dull greens, two reds (one OGM one OGL), and most are just normal green!! I'm too lazy to explain here but if any of you don't know what on earth I'm talking about, shoot me a comment down below or ask me a question on askfm!! When we reached Eusoff Hall, we could finally break fast and the food was kinda late but that's okay!! Talked to Darryl and Vincent a little while eating and they're really nice and funny! We headed to the Eusoff MTPH (idk if this is the right acronym) and there were some short clips of TMR. (The Maze Runner was our theme for the day) And like some of our group members were "kidnapped" so we played some station games for a few hours and did a mass dance to the song Bang Bang. It was overall quite fun ah because of the company. Have I mentioned yet that one of my OGLs is Eli's cousin?? Super cool right and she's awesomeballs. Anyway, we were done for the day and showered and messily unpacked. Oh right I forgot to say that there were 11 single rooms for the OG but we had 14 OGMs so 9 were single and 2 rooms would be shared by two people in each room, so I volunteered to share one of the rooms with Dina and that was the start of an awesome friendship (Am I being too cheesy now ew) We were just lepaking in the room when Jingxuan invited us to go supper @ Niqqa's! There were like seven of us in total. The prata was so good and we got into trouble and I was super upset about that, but it's ok now! We slept at like 2am that day.

----- DAY 2 -----

Harry Potter

LOL this is Dina & I's room... I do not occupy 3/4 of the bed, it's just my sleeping bag ok (Eusoff Hall Single Room!!)

We were rudely awakened at like 7am by the OGLs. They were banging on the door and I'm like "Dina goooo" and it was some sort of game we had to play and it was quite stupid ah we had to draw strips of paper from a container and then do whatever was written on it. Charmaine had to put moisturiser on my hands but she didn't read properly so she put on my face instead hahaha and I had to scrub Dina's foot with a random sponge. After breakfast we had DISGUSTING dirty games. Twister with food (oyster sauce, tomato sauce, mayonaise and baked beans), a Haitai game which apparently means seaweed and I got to dunk beaten eggs into Danial's shirt lol sorry!! There was another game involving balloons with soy sauce or water, other gross games and we finally had mass games which involved watermelons and soap and err other stuff. We finally got to shower after that. (I feel like the pictures and events don't match... I may have put some games from other days into the wrong days but it's generally correct ok!!) We headed to Botanic Gardens afterwards and had station games again but I'm too lazy to talk about that because I was just in so much pain because of aching muscles so I'll just let the pictures explain!!

Dina + Keely

I sent this pic to Eli

Amanda sent this to Eli

After that picture, we headed back to campus for dinner and then we were briefed about our Running Man game. Since today's theme was Harry Potter, this running man thing was based on us running away from Dementors or something. So the first round, OG 4,5,6 were the chasers and the others were the runners. It was pretty confusing ah but basically the runners found my name and I was eliminated within the first five minutes lol so I just went back to the LT and sat down (which I enjoy A LOT more than chasing people) It lasted a half hour and then the game ended and I was still like sitting down there in front of the LT with all the eliminated chasers lol. I thought round two of the game would be just a switch between the chasers and runners but NO THEY UPPED THE GAME. Everyone was randomly sorted into two groups, Team Blue and Team Yellow. The game started and we were supposed to just run so a bunch of us from my OG ran to the same place and five minutes after the game started we received individual texts from our OGLs. Weixiong texted me that I'm in Team Yellow ah and like Dina and Jingxuan and a bunch of them were Team Blue so it ended up being me, Marjorie, Christel and Gina on Team Yellow and like I have no idea where other people were but yeah the four of us were like hardcore running (JUST KIDDING) Marjorie and I hate the feeling of being chased. So we had like our own secret tactics and managed to survive until the game ended!! We were so paranoid about whether the game really ended or if the OGLs were flushing everyone out and then it would be like a complete warzone in front of the LT lol BUT OK IT ACTUALLY REALLY ENDED OK so we cool I think that was it for the day... We went back to Eusoff Hall and Dina & I went to shower and then do laundry cos the clothes STUNK from the dirty games earlier. Then ciao we went to sleep.

----- DAY 3-----

???

I don't even know what theme today was. But it was Sentosa day!!!! I was sad cos Dina and like most of the OG would be gone for QET so... it ended up being only me, Wen Xin, Jing Xuan & Hannah who went to Sentosa first hahahah four of us + four of the OGLs aka Weixiong, Keely, Jia Rui and Amanda!!!! We were the first OG to reach so we took pictures before starting the games. We had to play two-three games with only the four of us + the OGLs!!

Take note of Jade creeping in the background

We played a lot and the rest finally came at after 11am. The last game we played was in the sea. It was like OGLs vs the best 5 from my OG and another. Weixiong and the rest thought I'm very violent so I would be good for this game hahaha basically we tied one balloon to each of our arms/wrists, and we have to wrap our legs around the person in front of us (like a caterpillar chain) and then burst the other team's balloons!! Moses aka the OGL Head is aggresive as hell but anyway I don't even know who won in the end hahahah I'm sorry for grabbing y'alls wrists. Kidman aka the only guy in my OG volunteered for like most games so props to him ah I think he sustained a lot of injuries through all the days so thank you for everything Kidman!!!! He's so nice :") We had lunch and all that and we had a mass game but I was like bored and tired by then so I just took a water guns and just shot at everyone and everything.

As I was saying, I wasn't really in the mood so I was glad when it was over and we got to shower and then head to Vivo to buy a present for our mortals & we had a half hour I think so me and Dina bought a few stuff and rushed to get Pezzo pizzas and rushed to Giant to buy cold drinks! We made it back to the meeting point on time and headed back to campus. We ate dinner as an OG and I was like sunburnt I think a little. We all gathered at LT35 in the Medicine building and oh my god the LT is so much prettier than the LT in the Science building. Why oh why do Nursing students have to have lectures at the Science building. A whole chunk of us were blindfolded and at first they paired us up according to our assigned angel and mortal but I think that took too much time so they ended up just pairing us off randomly! So my angel and I played games like picking up gummy bears in a pail of water with just the toes or the "limbo" under a string game, eating marshmallows - all while I was blindfolded. I have like big issues with me doing things without having my sight but my angel was soooo nice and she made me feel super comfy after awhile. So I found out her name is Crystal and she was from OG3 so shoutout to her for not letting me fall and like taking care of me throughout the night haha. We went back to Eusoff Hall afterwards and showered, and finally packed because it was our last night and we had supper with the OG!! The OGLs treated us to prata from Niqqa's and I shamelessly ordered one cheese prata and one milk prata omg ok I feel so bad now I should've just ordered one. We had to wait awhile because not everyone was there at the Block B pantry yet but we ended up just eating anyway. We played Never Have I Ever and then the reverse which was I Have Ever hahaha and then afterward we were asked "Why You Joined Nursing" and I went first and then we went in one round and then tears were shed so to lighten up the mood we just joked around lah and we had to rate the camp from 1 to 10 with ten being the best and it ranged from 5 to 9 and of course 9 was me because I actually really enjoyed camp. It was 2:30am when we finally went back to our rooms. Dina and I washed up and put on a facial mask and I couldn't sleep till 4am while Dina was like fast asleep... The alarm rang at 4:45am and I was like scrambling around the room looking for my phone which ended up on the floor. Sigh SO TIRED.

The OGLs dressed up as ghosts which scared some people. I was blindfolded so I wasn't scared lah but apparently when we came up to Weixiong I recognised his voice and I said "Is that Weixiong??!!!" like super excitedly and then he shouted at me (part of the crazy ghost act lah) then my facial expression changed immediately hahahaah he told me that at supper

----- DAY 4-----

Jumanji

So after we woke up we headed to Block A pantry which was where the Muslims at camp had sahur and of course, as usual, Dina and I reached first so we started eating. I was just like ughhh cos we already ate prata for supper and it's plain prata for sahur. Syafiqin and Danial came afterwards and they were nice!! Danial especially, considering how I dunked a cup of beaten eggs into his shirt just 2 days ago lol. The OGLs left after 10 minutes cos they were too tired so we just talked and ate then other people came. The boys left but the girls sat and talked a bit more till ...6? Then we went up and Dina fell asleep on the bed like a starfish hahahaha so I just like put on my foundation and changed into my Nursing FOC shirt and everything then sat on the table and napped haha.

Anyway Keely had to leave after breakfast so that's quite sad!! We played Airplane Chess at the Eusoff Hall aircon hall (idk what it's called ok) till like 11:15am it was quite fun ah but I'm too lazy to explain so here are just some pictures!!

All the OGMs

All the seniors + OGLs

After that, we had to walk and take multiple buses to go to LT29 and have lunch. I didn't eat so I tried connecting to the school wifi and I finally could!! I'm damn blur I swear. Anyway, Amanda was like telling me stories about her clinical attachments all the way from EH to LT29 and it's quite interesting and also quite sad?? Sigh. We played Burning Bridges in the LT and like Wenxin asked Weixiong two questions (one question for each round lah) and he pointed at me both times and of course lah I'm damn unlucky so I lost BOTH TIMES) AND NOW IT'S LIKE EATING ME UP INSIDE BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE QUESTIONS WERE. Both of them refuse to tell me so let's just hope my forgetfulness takes over and I'll forget my NEED to know the questions... Hopefully it's nothing bad lah hor (shit why am I so singlish suddenly with all these lah and hor) STILL ENDLESSLY HOPING THEY WOULD TELL ME SOMEDAY but can't keep my hopes up ah let's move on. We exchanged gifts with our mortals and like I gave a sucky present I think but the items I gave were meaningful to me but maybe not to my mortal Rachel but I hope she finds some use for them anyway!! They showed like a video of all the four days and it was just like so heartwarming because it had been such a good time for me. We won "Most Passionate OG" but didn't win "Most Lepak OG" which is weird cos we lost the entire competition hahaha And the OGLs bought us mini notebooks and wrote nice stuff and had to pass it around to everyone so we all wrote nice stuff about each other and my brain wasn't working or whatever so I wrote kinda crappy generic notes even though I felt so much more. We were dismissed after everything!!

So to end off this post, I'd just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who planned and organised this entire camp because it was like awesomeballs planning and all the seniors/OGLs were super nice. Shoutout to Amanda, Keely, Jiarui and Weixiong for being the best OGLs ever and always being extra caring towards us and being super fun and easy to talk to like you guys are beyond wonderful to spend time with!!!! And of course not forgetting all my OGMs, it was surprising how easily I could open up to you guys and be comfortable and be myself. I was super scared and anxious about how I would fit in and just terrified about the camp in general because people who know me would know I hate camps like I would rather get mauled by a bear or a shark or whatever, but thanks to my sister Farah who said I HAD to go, I signed up for this and I don't regret that decision. The camp was super tiring and it left me sunburnt and exhausted but I think it was all worth it because of all the friendships forged. It sounds super cheesy, I know but I'm incredibly thankful to have met my fellow OG5 mates and OGLs because they're such nice people and just know that it saddens me tremendously that I wouldn't be in the same tutorial class as you guys because nobody from my OG has names that start with T (Tutorial class for Nursing is sorted by alphabetical order FYI) But yeah, I'm just so glad I attended this camp because I truly enjoyed the days and the company and I just hope we'll all stay friends and stay in touch (since nursing is only like 150 people right lol) Biggest shoutout to Dina for dealing with my mess in the room (but you're also quite messy right hahahah) and for being a great friend! I'm so glad I met you and decided to just volunteer us to share a room on that first day because it made us super close I hope you didn't mind hahaha but thank you for everything ♥♥!!!!! Shoutout to Marjorie for being amazeballs, Jingxuan for being super fun, Victoria for being like the best kind of crazy-ass possible - omg just shoutout to all of OG5 (including OGLs) for being the best people I've met in NUS so far!!

Is it too early to say I love you.........

♡

PROBABLY

THE END----------------------------------------------------------
PS: I uploaded a new video on my YouTube channel so check that out ok!!

I promised myself I would blog my journey into NUS, because I very much regretted creating this blog only several months after I entered junior college, having no record of my orientation days except my memories.

Clarification: I'm tagging these orientation camp posts with #foc but it'll be under the tags #nus and #uni as well. The tag #uni will be used for everything related to university, obviously. The tag #school was everything that had to do with junior college. I don't know if I used that tag often. Let's begin!

I was in a dilemma choosing between a few camps that I was interested in or giving in to what my head wanted - to not go at all. I signed up for only one camp, which is the Nursing FOC 2015! I signed up with encouragement from my sister, Farah. A few weeks later, I got a random text asking about my food preferences and then awhile later, a whatsapp chat was made. The theme for this year's FOC is Movies, and I'm in Group 5, Maleficient. There are six groups in total, with the others' movie choices being Kingsman, Baymax, Minions, Frozen and Legally Blonde. We got an email soon after about Day 0, which came with a few forms and the packing list. I made my own packing list just to be sure hehe. Anyway, I was super nervous about Day 0.

Odelia and I met up and headed to Kent Ridge together and we reached there on time, at about 7:30am. Meeting point was at LT28. I was super super nervous but we had to introduce ourselves and we had some icebreaker games. I'd say we were quick to warm up to each other! There was only one guy in the OG, excluding our OGL. One of my OGLs is none other than... Eli's cousin, Amanda! Anyway, we had some briefings, then a collection of indemnity forms and collection of camp fees ($60) and we got a Zalora 15% voucher (heck yes!), sunblock sample, moisturiser sample. Then we gathered to continue our icebreaker games and then finally headed out to make our group flag!

That's my hand there on the left, facing downwards mid-flag. Anyway, I almost forgot! We did some cheers. One of them was in Chinese GOD I HAVE TO LEARN THAT. After allllllll that, we went back into the LT. We had some talks by the Nursing Subclub, and got introduced to the lecturers and professors and then adios!! We were released like 3 hours earlier than I thought haha. So glad to have Kelly and Odelia with me throughout all this.

Anyway, a lot of people were so confused about the medical checkup, screening, vaccinations and how it involved Parkway Shenton and I was just like hehe to myself because I knew me and Odelia settled everything and are right on track, waiting for next month to get our post-vaccination blood test. I helped out Wenxin (like explained to her about this medical checkup) and then waved goodbye and headed home with Kell and Ode! Good day, I'd say! I didn't have a mental breakdown at least...

I'm now 55% excited, 45% nervous for camp which starts next Monday. I'll blog about all of it... sooner or later. Right after camp is Raya!!! So yeah it might take awhile for me to get Day 1 to 4 of FOC up. Camp will be from 13th to 16th July, which is Monday to Thursday :)

Sidenote: Check out my two most recent videos!!

Look how pretty my hair is in the June Favs pic! It looks so dull in real life lol the power of editing x♡ Comment, like & subscribe!!! ♡

My period still hasn't come. I don't want it to come during camp. That's a total mood spoiler. Not to mention I have to avoid water games like the plague. And camps = humidity and sweat and periods EW. It would also mess up the whole fasting thing.

I'm fat. Everyone else is skinny. I know. I know. It completely sucks to be the fat one at camps. It's like... first impressions matter, and their first impression would be: fat. And I don't like track pants or leggings so I have to stick with shorts. So my fat legs are on display to the world.

I have severe acne. So when I worked for three entire months from February to May, I had gotten used to the comfort of having makeup on, and everyone saw me only with makeup on. This was the total opposite of junior college, where everyone saw me only with no makeup on.

I'm extremely shy. I've always hated the start of a school year with new classes/new people, because I'm incredibly shy. It's not just shy in the sense that I don't like or feel comfortable talking to new people or being myself with them, it's pure terror. Like I'm scared. I'm terrified to talk to people I don't know and it's for no reason at all. It's just that I don't know them and it takes a lot of effort for me to talk to them.

Showering outside of home. It's gross. I don't like showering in any place that's not home. Not only are some shower cubicles small, there's no place to put my stuff too sometimes. It's annoying. And being someone who wears glasses, there's no place to put my glasses without them getting wet.

Sweat. Singapore is so hot and it feels like 40 degrees Celsius now, I can't wait for the rainy season. Anyway, camps means activities. Activities means sweat. And it's not a camp without a trip to the beach! Meaning sand and sweat. Sweat. I even hate the word. Sweat.

Basically I hate camps but somehow I feel like I need to do this. I'm watching Falling Skies now. Mom said she's just making mee goreng later. I hope she cooks dendeng too. Friday is Day 0 of Camp. I have to be at school by 8am and it lasts till noon and then I can head back home. I hope I can wear jeans. I'm most likely wearing jeans anyway. I think like muslimahs would always wear long pants no matter what (if that's their choice) so I wouldn't feel out of place if I decided to wear jeans over shorts on day 0. It's supposed to be get-to-know your camp mates and everyone, and a briefing about the camp will also be conducted. I got another injection yesterday, for Hepatitis B. Now my arm all the way till my shoulder muscles hurt. I have to go back there again to get another blood test. Just started another episode of FS. I can't find the latest episode of The Fosters so I shall go on YouTube and catch up :) After Iftar, I'll probably have to clear the dishes and wash them all and then hang up the newly washed curtains and then I'm free. The clique is hanging out today and Thursday. I've been feeling extremely shit lately, I wish I didn't have to leave home at all. I kinda want to go out on Thursday but I hate making plans and then waking up and regretting that decision. The plan will go on with or without me so even if I decide to join last minute, it wouldn't really affect them, I think. I hope I feel better soon. After I do everything tonight, I guess I'll have to start editing the video for this Thursday! It's my June favourites. I filmed the into & outro recently with my new microphone so I hope that's good! Imagine the viewers though. They'd watch the video and be like "Okay, that's a decent intro." And then the actual June favourites start and my screechy voice is like a siren. Can't wait to make future videos with this good mic.

I'm typing this post on my phone so I hope there aren't any major typos or autocorrect issues. Anyway, I'm dreading school. Farah literally has a two-day school week. Monday & Tuesday and then she has no school for the rest of the week. Me, however... I can't choose my modules or whatever because it's a fixed timetable for my course. I'm just hoping it's not like three hours of lectures/tutorials everyday for five days a week. Transport itself would be over two hours both ways total. So I hope it's a 3 day week at most #wishfulthinking

I wish I weren't so worried or scared about everything. It's terrible. To have this excessive worry. To have irrational fears. To not be able to do a lot of things. Or to do it reluctantly.

Today, I will be talking about my little sister. We used to be friends. I've been meaning to write about this for a long long time but I figured I shouldn't invest too much time in writing this. However, I think I would feel much better if I just expressed myself, so here goes.

COMPULSIVE LIAR

I hate her with every ounce of hatred that I possess. She’s secretive, manipulative, inconsiderate and a compulsive liar. She lies about everything to everyone for no reason whatsoever. Sometimes I think her mental growth is stunted, most times I’m aware she’s just a bitch. Also, she probably has extremely low EQ. She’s almost fifteen years old. She used to be okay, as I mentioned. But at some point in her life, she decided to shut herself off from everyone. I’m not able to confirm if she’s like this with her friends as well, because as I mentioned - she’s secretive. Unlike my older sister and I, her life is completely private. Yes, it is normal to prefer some privacy. However, when your own siblings or parents know nothing about your life, that’s a little strange. She does nothing in her life other than go to school and tuition and study, and you may think, "Oh, she's hardworking" and yes she is, but it is not normal to not have a life. It is not normal to not go out with friends, to not want to take a break, to not want to watch a movie, to not listen to music at all, to not like spending time eating. One thing I found out is that she actually pretends not to know musicians (The Vamps, One Direction, Arctic Monkeys) other than Taylor Swift. We know for a fact that she knows lyrics to mainstream songs, popular celebrities like Harry Styles or Alex Turner or whatever band guys that I talk about. Like no joke, I talk about The Vamps / 5SOS / 1D all the time and she pretends not to know the members, but with her friends, she compliments them and fangirls - I don't understand why she has to pretend. It is okay to like band guys, isn't it? When she sleeps "too much", she'll stay up all night just to study to make up for "lost time". She studies obsessively, bringing study materials and homework to family gatherings, vacations - everywhere, which is rude. It is okay to spend most of your time studying, that's what Singapore encourages anyway, but it is weird for that to be all she's doing. Anyway, that was just an introduction to what she does.

BLATANT SECRETIVENESS

She has the habit of closing the door to the study room for no reason. Sometimes, it's because of the noise of the TV from the living room downstairs so that's valid. However, there are other times like this one incident Farah told me about where the little sister was alone at home & Farah was on her way out but she still went up to the room and closed the door?? WHY??

EXTREME MESSINESS

My parents, my mom especially - is always on her side. Dad loves the fact that she studies that much. He doesn't care for rest, recreational activities or any of those little things that are important, huh. But let's forget about that. The story about my dad is way longer, let's save that for another time. This is about my mom, and my little sister. She is a mess. She leaves her things all around the house - all around my room, on my bed, my dresser, and the corner of the room that she shares with my older sister. Let's clarify. My room is the study room where I don't spend a lot of time in due to the fact that I'm currently not in school, and it is the room that the little sister spends almost all her time in. We all sleep in Farah's room. There's a corner, where her things are stacked up, messily - I might add, and my older sister (Farah) and I, have told her multiple times over the past few years to clear the area up. Throw what she didn't need, and just neaten the area. Don't get me wrong, we would clean that area up ourselves, but it's mainly her things there and the last time Farah threw some of the stuff away, she got yelled at by mom. So we got the message: Not allowed to touch the little sister's things. So we asked her to clean it up, and we give her lots and lots of time. Years. We tell her to clean the area up at the start of June/December holidays and it's always the same at the end of the month. Let's see - there's lower secondary school stuff, and I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I said there would probably be some of her primary school stuff too, all of which she claims to need for O Levels. Then there's just a bunch of random stuff, bags, old D&T projects etc. Whenever we bring this up to the parents, of course, my mom would say "It's not messy." or "She needs those things" or "How does it affect you?" or "Why don't you clean up your stuff? Your stuff is in the corner too!" - Excuse me, but firstly, my things are properly stored in two plastic containers that are neatly stacked up against one side of the wall. Secondly, we're talking about my little sister's mess, not my non-existent mess. So that's the very first example of how my mom sides the little sister, when she's clearly in the wrong.

This is the little sister's corner. Mom calls this "very neat"

See those two translucent plastic boxes on the right? Those are mine. Only those. Mom calls it "so messy"

CONSPICUOUS FAVOURITISM

My little sister gets away with things that Farah and I don't. It's not a matter of age, I think. She's fifteen, I'm nineteen and Farah is twenty-two. Let's just point out the little things. Toothpaste on the shower floor. It's not that difficult to just make sure there's no toothpaste on the floor, or actually, why does she even squeeze that much toothpaste out of the tube? I brought this up to her and she said "I'm the first to shower the next day, so I'll clean that up." hOLD UPPPPP, what reasoning is that? Is that legit? First to shower everyday so it's cool that she just leaves the toothpaste on the floor then and again when she washes up at night? Hmmm okay. How about... leaving the fan or lights on when she's not in the room. When you hear this next story, you'll be like whaaaat? A few days ago, I was sleeping on the bed in my room. Nobody else was in the room, so I turned the standing fan (the only fan in the room) towards my head area of the bed. So I was sleeping peacefully in the dark with the breeze in my face, when I realised I was sweating profusely, why is that? I opened my eyes, and the lights were turned on and the fan was no longer at me, it was pointing towards my sister's table and she was studying. At what point did she think it was okay to turn the fan away from me, a person who was sleeping? Let's just get this clear, it's hot as hell without a fan in that room. So I was in the room first, sleeping, with the fan at me, and I woke up, and the fan was at her (Her desk is adjacent to the foot of my bed) So I shifted my pillow to the foot of my bed, and went to lay there. At the same time, I said to my little sister, "I was sleeping and you just turned the fan away from me? How rude can you get? How many times have I told you to just turn on the aircon if there's two people in the room?" And her response was "I don't want to waste electricity" WHOAAAAA REWIND BACK A SECOND. Recall that she's the one who leaves the fan and lights on when she's not in the room - and she's also the one who turned the fan away from me, for herself, and didn't want to turn the air-conditioning on - something that would benefit the both of us. So someone who understands her logic - PLEASE please enlighten me. I'm not that kind of person. I've seen her sleep on my bed countless times, taking a nap after studying so hard, and I would turn the fan (that is turned on, aimed at her empty table) towards her, & increase the speed because I know how hot it can get. I've also seen her asleep on my study chair - which makes no sense because she has her own, and I had intended to use my desk so I needed my chair, but seeing her asleep, I decided to do my stuff elsewhere in the house so I wouldn't disturb her sleep. That's the kind of person I am. So someone again, please explain to me why, when I'm explaining these incidents to my parents, my dad would call my sister and I "mean” or “looking for excuses to hate her" and he also calls this a "witch hunt". The little sister will leave the lights on and fan on when she goes downstairs for awhile but “awhile” is actually a few hours. My older sister and I feel like when we switch rooms or even go to the toilet, we'd turn off the lights anyway? It's not that difficult. It's also a common sight to see the light and fan left on in the study room when she decides to take a nap (of sometimes two/three hours long) elsewhere. Her excuse: "I'm coming back to the room later anyway" Anyway, when we bring up this issue to the parents, they say that this is a small matter and that wasting electricity is a trivial matter. I'm not even allowed to sleep in my own room (the study room) because "it's a waste of electricity to turn on the aircon" for me. So.. I'm not worth the electricity cost but she is? I'm sorry for shedding light on this issue. The lack of thoughtfulness and concern my little sister has for other people and other things worries me but that's considered "okay" by my parents' standards.

INVIGORATION OF HER LAZINESS?

Another thing I find unfair/weird is how my mom would automatically make the bed for my little sister with no complaints, but has issue with me... making mine? Anyway, remember how I said my room is also the study room? Well, it used to be my grandfather's room. Before he died. I actually blogged about that. Read about that here.Anyway my mom still calls it "datuk's room" (datuk = grandfather)so the day after I woke up from that sleep I mentioned in the previous paragraph, she texted me. It went like this. (I'll post the translation)

Mom:Tidy datuk's bed. So messy.

Me:Why didn't Nadia tidy her bed? So messy.

Mom:You're sleeping there aren't you? If not, I will tidy it now.

(She assumed that after my sister went to school, I would move from my room to her bed.) (Also bear in mind, she leaves for school at 6:20am, school is 10-15 minutes away. School starts at 7:30, she had plenty of time to make her bed. I know I always do, back in secondary school, JC... The little sister spends at least ten minutes just wasting time downstairs - literally just sitting waiting - before leaving the house, so it's a fact that she could take two minutes to make the bed.)

At this point, I was like wtf? Two minutes after you ask me to tidy MY bed... you volunteer to make hers? Why not do both at the same time? Are we both her daughters? Yes. Are we equals? It seems like the answer is NO. She willingly and voluntarily makes my little sister's bed everyday without fail...and yet back in secondary school and JC, before I went to school she would say "Have you tidied up your bed?" That honestly just baffles me. I used to leave for school at 6:50am, it's a half hour ride to school. I usually reach at 7:20am, just 10 minutes before assembly starts. If I had the time to make the bed...why can't she? So yeah...explain the inequality/unfair treatment of your daughters. After the text of mom volunteering to make my sister's bed and not mine, I replied:

Me:Not sleeping. I already made my bed, and also Nadia's. Because obviously I'm not biased.

Let me just say that if I acted the way Nadia does, you would call me the devil. You guys are so used to me being nice, being responsible and helpful. If i don't do chores or do responsible stuff like I usually do (for legit reasons), I get nagged at and called names!!!!! Nadia gets away with it because she needs to study?? It was the June holidays when you told me this reason (more like excuse). When I was studying for A Levels, I still washed my dishes. exCUSE YOU our house have no dishwasher because the dish washer is me!!! I do what's expected of me, I guess. I just don't understand why you expect NOTHING from Nadia. (My mom still crushes pills for her, because she can't swallow them) I had trouble at first, but I learned. But it's okay for her to be incapable of swallowing pills? You're not at ALL encouraging her to try to swallow pills. You just, by default, crush them for her.) At this point, if my parents were to read this, I'm sure my mom would say "She gets straight As, what have you ever done?" Oh I didn't know it worked like that? So if I get bad grades, I do chores, if I get good grades then I don't? Was that why, you, mom, did so many chores? Because of your bad grades back in school? I am in no way claiming that I am some sort of angel, because I for sure as hell am not. I just don't understand how you are denying the facts that are presented to you, claiming that these are allegations, that the little sister is "just a baby" and that she can do no wrong, siding her with arguments that are invalid and when you know you're about to lose out, you yell "DON'T YOU DARE ARGUE WITH ME" Hey man, it's not an argument, it's just real facts that you REFUSE to accept. It's really not our fault that we have reached our limit for tolerance of Nadia's bullshit, and also yours.

Don't give me an excuse about her age, because at age fifteen, I recall washing the dishes, I recall making my bed all the time, I recall going to the grocery store to buy stuff for you, mom. Now, in Ramadan, the little sister is always the first to leave the table after iftar (breaking fast). Even at family dinners, she would leave the table before anyone else is even done with their food. More often than not, I'm the one who carries the plates, washes the dishes, and I highly doubt you show the least bit of gratitude towards me. I don't seek rewards from you for doing good deeds, I do it out of my own conscience. Just don't call me a bitch, when I'm merely stating the truth that you choose not to see about the little sister. Because CLEARLY, I'm a better human being than her. So what if she studies harder than I did, so what if she practises her faith more frequently than I do - those aren't legit points to show kindness, integrity, respect, responsibility or whatever. Like if a serial killer attends church every Sunday, does that make him a good human being?? No! Doing your prayers everyday does not excuse you from being a shady lying-ass bitch.

UNNECESSARY RUDENESS

She now greets me whenever she walks into the room or I walk into the room by grunting an arrogant "hmph!" I often respond, "I'm your older sister, and you greet me like that?" I would very much appreciate if she didn't "greet" me at all. She often retaliates, when we're in a verbal fight, by calling me names that she knows I'm sensitive about - like calling me "fat ass" or "ugly face". She's just very rude and I've had enough.

To the parents: Thanks mom and dad for always giving Far and I shit when we only want to tell you the truth. Thank you for rubbing it in my face when I fail to do what's expected of me like once out of every fifteen times, but hey, it's okay for Nadia. It's up to you to let her manifest her bad habits and disgusting attitude. Just don't call me evil or whatever when I've had enough and want to complain. -- Refer to quote in picture above -- Not only that, whenever we bring these issues up, you go into defensive mode, or worse - offensive. Please also bear in mind she's like this all year round and next month onwards, I'll also be in school. I wonder what excuse you'd have for her laziness then. Her rudeness, her lies? YOUR favouritism? Stop making it seem like we're the bad ones. You're in no way the perfect parents either.

TO YOU READERS: PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A SATANIC SISTER.