John Doyle: The last Friel’s college journey nears its end

Monday

Feb 25, 2013 at 3:15 AMFeb 25, 2013 at 7:56 AM

Jilliane Friel’s success as a member of the University of New Hampshire women’s basketball team won’t be measured in wins, losses, minutes played or points scored. For Friel, her career as a Wildcat meant so much more than that.

Preparing to play her final game on the court named after her late father Gerry, and where he coached the UNH men’s team for two decades and took countless shots with his five children — all of which went on to play Division I basketball — Friel looked back on her career with a mix of frustration, self-reflection and, ultimately, satisfaction.

“I would be shocked if anyone saw their career unfold the way they envisioned it,” said Friel. “Just because I don’t think there’s any way that you can prepare for this experience. I had four siblings go through it, and I thought I knew what I was coming into, but there’s just no way, until you’re going through it, to know how you’re going to react to different things.”

Friel was recruited by former UNH coach Kristen Cole after a standout career at Oyster River High School, where Friel was a member of two Class I championship teams (plus one in soccer) and became the fifth member of her family to score more than 1,000 career points on the basketball court.

But at UNH, Friel was thrown a curveball. Cole was fired after Friel’s freshman season, and under new coach Maureen Magarity, Friel did not flourish on the court the way she did a few miles away at Oyster River. Her minutes were few and her starts were zero. It gradually became apparent to Friel that it was either time to transfer or accept the fact that her career at UNH would not mirror the one she had at Oyster River.

“It definitely wasn’t what I envisioned, being a high-school senior and dreaming of that Division I career,” Friel said. “But I’ve probably grown more as a person because it didn’t pan out the way I thought. I’ve still had an awesome experience overall. Maybe my numbers and my stats really haven’t been where anyone would hope them to be, but I wouldn’t change anything.”

The first thing Friel did was to check her ego at the door, and to realize that coaching changes are sometimes a part of life for college athletes.

“Whenever there’s a coaching turnover, you have to consider whether you are part of the future,” Friel said. “For me, I felt like if I had worked hard enough and done the right things, I could be part of this system. I don’t know how true that turned out to be in terms of my minutes on the floor. But I do think that my impact in practice, my impact on the team, my leadership this year has fit into the things that she values.”

Transferring from the school her father coached at and was walking distance from the house she grew up in with her sister, Jennifer, her brothers, Jeremy, Keith and Greg, and her mother Joan, was out of the question for Jilliane.

“If I wasn’t so in love with UNH, maybe my basketball career should have been taken somewhere else,” Friel said. “I would never change the path that I’m on. Where I am now, it’s hard to look back and say, ‘Would I do things differently?’”

Which led to the second step of Friel’s coming to terms with her situation — realizing that basketball was just a small part of her overall college experience, and that being a part of the UNH family meant more than how often her name appeared at the top of the box score.

“It’s the whole field house,” Friel said. “The whole college-basketball part for me was everyone in this organization. Whether it’s my conversations with (athletic director) Marty (Scarano), or working for (facilities manager) ‘Mama Jean’ (Mitchell), who I’ve worked with throughout college. Having her as my extended family, she’s someone that I’m going to invite to my wedding. That’s something that’s greater than how many points did I average. Would I love to have both, of course. But to me, it was meeting the people within the field house who are so supportive and really want everyone, all student athletes, to do well.

“I came to UNH because my siblings went here,” she added. “My dad coached here. My mom is right down the road. So those were the things that were more important to me. My women’s basketball career is going to be short, regardless of whether I transfer.”

Academically, Friel thrived at UNH. She graduated in three years with a degree in business, and is currently in the first of a two-year graduate business program, going for an advanced degree in entrepreneurship. Financially, because she was a scholarship athlete, she’ll be on the hook for only next year’s expenses.

“In 10 years, it’s not going to matter whether I played or I didn’t,” Friel said. “It’s going to matter who’s in my life, the relationships I had and what I was able to gain. I had a great education, my mom and my brothers and sister were able to see me and support me. I met a lot of great people. Those were the things that were important to me.”

Friel isn’t sugar-coating anything. She readily acknowledges that coming to terms with her role on the team — one of an emotional leader rather than a scoring leader — was the challenge of a lifetime.

“This was probably the most difficult journey of my life,” Friel said. “Getting to this point of, OK, I’m happy with the decisions that I’ve made and the effort that I put in. Getting there was emotional, though.”

Magarity, who is also the daughter of a college basketball coach, said Friel is a vocal leader whom the younger players look up to.

“She loves the game,” Magarity said. “She wants to win and she’s been tremendous for us. She accepted her role and as a senior, it’s a tough thing to do. She just wants to be successful, and the games in which she’s come off the bench, she gives us a spark.”

It’s not hard to see how well Friel accepts her role as the team’s emotional leader. She’s the one on the court enthusiastically greeting the starters during pregame introductions, and is usually the first one up on her feet off the bench during timeouts. When she gets into the game, she plays her heart out, such as when she dove for a ball going out of bounds and landing hard on the floor during Saturday’s game against Binghamton.

“She grew and developed into a great leader,” said fellow Wildcat senior Cari Reed, who has been Friel’s roommate for the last four seasons. “She’s got the most energy when she comes on the floor. For her to do that, coming from her situation, it’s not easy. I give a ton of credit to Jill for that.”

Part of Friel’s journey included sustaining a concussion after accidentally taking a fall one month before the season started. She missed the first three games of the season but entered the team’s first home game against Cornell with 5:34 to go in the first half. After an early turnover, Friel made her presence felt with two quick assists that gave UNH a nine-point lead. The Wildcats won 59-56 and Friel finished with three points and four assists.

For Friel, the Cornell game set the tone for a positive season.

“Coming back, I wasn’t expecting to play,” Friel said. “But we had another injury and some foul trouble and I was pretty much forced into action. Not necessarily by choice, but (that) gave me some confidence that maybe normally I don’t have. Then once things started going well, I proved to myself that I could still play.”

All that remains now for Friel in a UNH uniform is her final home game Wednesday night against Albany, the regular-season finale at Maine on Saturday and the America East tournament.

“That’s a tough thing to grapple with,” Friel said. “But it’s very cool. I don’t know how many people have that opportunity. So I’m just going to try to relish it. I have a friendly bet going on with my teammates about how much I’m going to cry. I’m a very emotional person. It will be extremely emotional. Big games like that, it’s hard to think about my dad and wishing he was there. But he is. It’s cool that he’ll be here in a way.

“I can’t think of a better way to go out,” she concluded. “That’s why I came here. My brother and my mom will walk me out, and my dad will be on the court, like he is every night. What a way to end a career.”

John Doyle is a staff sports writer and editor at Foster’s Daily Democrat. Email him at jdoyle@fosters.com and follow him on Twitter @JohnDoyle603.