The Big Apple is always ahead of the curve on all things beauty, so the rest of the western world best be wary of the latest trend to take our fine metropolis by storm. New York’s department of health is warning that unlicensed practitioners are injecting bizarre and unregulated substances as “cosmetic enhancements” for lips, breast and even butt boosting.

“People who undergo these unsafe procedures hope to enhance their appearance, but the reality can be lifelong deformity and even death,” said Doctor Nathan Graber, director of the city’s environmental and occupational disease program.

Among the substances being injected: silicone, petroleum jelly, castor oil and mineral oil.

The popularity of illegal cosmetic injections is on the rise since the start of the recession: the New York poison control center has received three calls in the last 10 months from doctors who treated patients injected with cheap, industrial-grade silicon by unlicensed practitioners in a so-called “underground beauty industry.”

Gross? Sure. But not so off-putting when you consider some of the legalalternatives.