Well, not quite. Of all the postpartum challenges, it was breastfeeding that caught me by surprise. First, there was the adjustment period. Little did I know that my ferociously hungry baby would not only latch like a snapping turtle, but that she would insist on doing so nearly every hour. Neither did I know that a toothless baby was capable of tearing a hole in my nipple, nor that infected milk ducts could cause my breast to swell to volleyball-esque proportions.

Yeah, things were rough there for a while.

But after weeks of practice, persistence, patience and tears, my baby and I really started to rock the breastfeeding thing. She would loudly place her order, and faster than a Taco Bell drive-through I’d whip out a breast and dinner was served. Simple, natural, and cheap — just how I’d envisioned it.

Then, after 10 weeks, I went back to work.

I’ve been working about six weeks now, and I’m beginning to wonder: Is this all really worth it? During these hectic times, when it’s a triumph for me to find a clean pair of underwear in morning, I’m hauling bottles to and from work, obsessing over ounces, and scrambling to cram pumping sessions between meetings.

Simple? No. Cheap? Natural? No and no. Renting a hospital-grade pump — which I realized I’d have to do unless I wanted 3-inch nipples for the rest of my life — costs just as much as formula. And hooking my breasts up to a machine three times a day is about as natural as whole grain white bread. (Yes, there is such a thing.)

Simply put, breastfeeding has become a royal pain in the ass. Though I still relish the feeding sessions my baby and I share in the morning and evening (less so the ones in the middle of the night), I’m beginning to question whether the benefits of providing my baby with a breastmilk-only diet are worth the time, stress, and resources.

Am I succumbing to the guilt complex that plagues so many moms? If I don’t give my baby breastmilk now, every physical weakness and illness she ever suffers will be all my fault? Or am I right to put in the extra effort to do what’s best for Baby?

Recent posts

I understand, I exclusively breastfed and worked full time for the first 6 months, when she started eating homemade purees. Many things in motherhood are not easy, but they make a better childhood for your baby.

I got in the swing of it and tried not to stress about the ounces. Pumping is a pain, but look at it as a break. Bring a book (you’ll learn to balance it!), close your eyes and meditate, make it your time. As far as the bottles and so forth, if it wasn’t breastmilk you’d be juggling, it’d be formula.

Only you can decide if it’s worth it for you and baby. I pledged to provide only breastmilk to my daughter because it was important to me, and I would have been disappointed in myself had I given up. To this day, I’m very proud of it and think it was the healthiest thing for my daughter. You will have to assess the reasons you are doing it and weigh it all out for yourself, and that’s hard! Good luck

Lindsey

To me, it’s worth it. Yes, it’s extremely tough but at the end of the day, your baby is getting the best nourishment she can receive. I’m right there with you too with pumping sessions in between meetings at work. Although I did purchase my own pump and – with three kiddos – it has paid for itself hundreds of times over when compared to the cost of formula.

If you quit your baby will be fine, though. Give yourself a pat on the back for making it this far when so many other mommas don’t even try.

I plan to stick it out until my kiddo is a year old. In the grand scheme of things, one year worth of breastfeeding is not a whole lot of time. Just a tiny fraction of their life that if you breastfeed, according to reports, reaps many benefits for years to come.

Good luck with whatever decision you make!

Michelle

You — any mom — has to do what is right for you. My baby was tongue-tied when she was born which led to a number of problems on her end and mine. Pain, struggles with infection, baby losing weight, etc. Switching to formula was the best thing I did for her and for me, despite what others might say. Breastfeeding would’ve been great, but it just didn’t work for us.

JWZ

I’m having the same debate now with my almost 12 week old. In part because of the issues I’m having with my breasts and pumping, in part because it’s clear that his acid issues are somewhat triggered by foods I eat (and we can’t figure out what). Because of supply issues I already supplement about 8 oz of formula a day mixed in with breastmilk. I’m debating making the switch over to more because his stomach seems to do so much better with the gentleease formula, and I’m not sure which is better for him in the long run. So many decisions, so many stresses when no one really seems to know what’s best and instincts aren’t much help here!

Sarah

I am totally with you–I was in the complete same boat. Had some breastfeeding frustrations, which were magnified when I went back to work and was more pumping than breastfeeding–no fun. I gradually stopped pumping and was still breastfeeding in the morning and evening. I loved it and would have maintained that schedule indefinitely if my body had let me…but it was not to be. My 6 month old is now formula fed and, aside from the slight inconvenience of making a bottle whenever she’s hungry, we are both doing great. I have my body back and my baby is totally awesome. No one but me (and my husband) would ever know she used to get breastmilk and now gets formula!

Danny’s Momma

I was having a supply problem and ended up only breastfeeding for about a month. My baby was constantly hungry, I was constantly pumping, and when I wasn’t pumping I had my son attached to my already sore breast… I was in pain, my son wasn’t happy and we were not bonding. I do not feel bad at all for switching him to formula. I’m really glad I didn’t listen to the lactation consultant who told me I “did not have another option”, that I had to breastfeed, that the bloody milk would not hurt the baby and that I had to ignore the pain and I’d thank myself later. I ended up thanking myself for dismissing her and making a decision on what was best for us.

I switched to formula and suddenly my baby was full and happy and gaining weight like he should. I was less sore and happy and we were bonding instead of struggling through feeding times.

I’m not trying to talk you into switching to formula at all. You should make that decision yourself. I also do not want people to think I’m trying to bash breastfeeding. I’m just saying that it’s not always the best thing you can do, that making sure your baby is fed and happy is top priority, and that no one should beat themself up if they can’t breastfeed. Nothing to feel guilty over.

Carolyn

I switched from supplementing (have had supply issues with both of my boys) to formula only after pumping and MAJORLY stressing over ounces for about 3 months. I miss the morning and evening nursing, but like a previous poster, I have a much happier baby and can enjoy his (formula) milk-y smiles without the stress of “is he still hungry?” I gave it my ALL for the 4 months that I nursed, which is much more than nothing! He’s a daycare kid and constantly has a cold of some sort, but maybe that’s partly his 2-yr-old brother’s fault. Everything mommy-related comes with guilt and stress. But a less-stressed mommy leads to a happier household.

http://ezactly.blogspot.com Mel

Truthfully, while still beneficial, I don’t think anyone can say there is anything very natural about having to pump full time at work. If you can’t latch with your baby and pump at home MAYBE it’s a little easier since you don’t have to haul stuff around but still not a walk in the park. As you said, before you went back to work, after you guys got the hang of it, nursing was great and just how you imagined it. I think offering the breast at home and formula while you work is a good compromise if you feel things have gotten to be to much for you to enjoy the time you have at work OR at home.

Jessica

Just going to say I totally feel you here. Been pumping at work with my cheap ol’ Lansinoh double pump 5.5 months now. Twice a day. Add to that reverse cycling since my son won’t sleep or eat when I’m not home…boy…I have never wanted a baby grow faster than I want this kid to get to one year!

Jen E.

After 6 weeks of pumping 3x a day at work, I just couldn’t take it anymore! I was losing my mind. So I backed down to 2x a day, spaced a little further apart (with slightly longer sessions at first). I figured I would have to supplement with formula.

But you know what? After a few days, my body adjusted and I was able to pump just as much in 2 sessions as I had been in 3. (I think having longer sessions at first helped, signaled to my body to start producing more at those times.)

About another month after that, my son started to STTN, so I would wake up engorged. So in the mornings, I was then able to nurse on one side and pump on the other. So eventually I was able to pump just once in the morning and 1x a day at work. But I would have to run STRAIGHT HOME after work to nurse.

I know this won’t work for everyone. But if you’re planning on switching to formula anyway, you might want to give it a shot.

Anna

Working full-time and nursing really really sucks, I have done it twice for a year with my kids…But if I had to do it again, I would. It’s totally worth it-your child is getting the best nourishment you can give him-and that is worth everything to me:)

http://www.cuddlesandcartoons.blogspot.com Angela

I breastfed for the first 3 weeks of my sons life. They were the most stressful three weeks of my life! I couldn’t get him to latch on even in the hospital, so for every feeding I had to use a nipple shield. That alone is the worst thing ever to have to deal with. Even with that it was a fight every feeding to get him to latch on and he ended up screaming and fighting me. He constantly had stomach issues and was just not a happy baby. After about 3 weeks I got an infection and my doctor said not to feed on that side; so I supplemented with a bottle. I will never forget that first bottle. That was the first time in my sons life he calmly just laid there and ate 6 oz; all the while staring up at me and cuddling in the way I had always imagined feeding would be like. After he slept peacefully that night; no stomach pain, no constant crying. After that I never went back to breastfeeding. We were both finally happy and not stressed, which I think is the most important thing.
Yes breast is the best; but the formula that they have now they can get as close to breast milk as possible. So I didn’t feel like I was depriving my son of anything.
He is now 3 years old and is the picture of health. He has only had one round of antibiotics his entire life. I do not regret bottle feeding him at all. I think our culture makes women feel guilty if they don’t and that’s not fair. Sometimes you have to do what is best for you and your child emotionally and that may not be breastfeeding.

Laura

Pumping at work sucks. I remember the whole transition back to work sucked, and it took a couple (okay, maybe several) months to get over the frantic feeling that I had all the time that I could be doing more, going faster, etc. I pumped faithfully three times a day and felt like I never got enough milk (my little guy started getting formula when I was away almost during the first week).

I’m not sure I have any great advice. It does get easier with time. It was helpful to me to remember that breastfeeding is not an all-or-nothing proposition. You can nurse when you’re with your baby, and give formula for some or all of the time you’re away. In retrospect, I think the benefits of having breastmilk available for my son were worth it, but it was a difficult time. Maybe setting an intermediate goal (pumping until 6 months?) and then reassessing would be helpful? Good luck!

Laura

Oh, and I also wanted to say by way of encouragement that it’s not necessarily the case that you’ll pump as much as you need while you’re away from the baby. So, if you think you have a supply problem, it may simply be that the pump is not as efficient as the baby. Also, beware if caregivers are overfeeding baby during the day (mine definitely did, because he was super-fussy when I was away, though I didn’t blame them).

Nichmom

I breastfeed my two baby’s but because I didnt have enough milk I use formula to, so when I return to work I will feed them early in the morning n in my return, I try the machine it just didn’t work for me n my schedule. After six months I was running out of milk so I stop, so far my oldest 15yr n 8yr the youngest, both are pretty healthy n the doc said that 6 months is good enough to get what they need.

Darlene

What really helped me was that my son’s daycare provider was willing to let me come by on my lunch hour to nurse him. It meant one less pumping session, and I got to see my baby during the workday.

Bev

Don’t feel guilty – if you want to supplement w/some formula or go to all formula your baby will be better than fine. If you’re getting stressed/fatigued w/all the pumping your baby will take that all in!

To me breast was not best for mom, baby or dad! I loved formula feeding,my baby loved and it gave my hubs a chance to bond through feeding and take on some of the night work. Since we were so happy I believe our babies were healthier and happier and stress-free.

Each to their own is what I say. For some moms/babies breast is best, for some moms/babies formula is superior and for some moms/babies a combo is what is ideal. I just really dislike attaching “best” to any baby rearing option as it just degrades any other legitimate choices. But when something starts becoming a burden instead of a pleasure and there are other options its fine to explore/test those options.

Ashley

I went back to work when my daughter was 6 weeks and I breastfed until she was 4 months. I loved breastfeeding. I bought an electric pump and it worked fine. I was lucky I didnt experience any pain at all. I was told to combi feed because my daughter wasnt gaining enough weight according to my health visitor. My daughter got lazy when I gave her the bottle and began refusing the breast. I was heart broken. She is now 11 months and still small for her age. I wish I had listened to my own instincts. I got really upset when I saw other mums breastfeeding and knew I no longer could.

I dont think any mother should feel guilty though no matter what way you decide to feed you child. Happy mum happy baby as far as im concerned. my daughter has picked up lots of illnesses and bugs in the first 11 months of her life even though she was breastfed. I do think any mum undecided should even just give it a try. I was very unsure about pain etc. And didnt feel a thing. if you dnt try you’ll never know

mic

I dont think ‘only’ is required for the benefits of nursing.
If you feed morning and night, you may well keep lactating enough, and can give the caregiver formula to use for the days.

artemis

i breastfed my 1st child while working. You dont need a fancy expensive pump; my medala was around $120 at target and worked nicely.

And i agree with mic; you can mix n match.

Breast is best, in particular for mom: ppd is less likely, your body s back to normal much more easily, etc… its sad that some people must give it a bad rep, mainly because of lack of support.

if you run into problems with initial latching, contact a lactation consultant, often new moms simply hold the babe not in the correct way and then end up with problems.

Sarah

With my first son I tried the whole breastfeeding thing, but it didn’t work the way I thought it would. DS1 had a lot of latch issues and nipple confusion; I had to use a nipple shield then became so reliant on it that he would not latch without it. My supply went down and down, and I suffered through postpartum depression, he was miserable I was miserable; my husband was the only one who was still hopeful about continuing breastfeeding. Around Christmas my husband’s cousin and mother both told me that if I didn’t feel like I could do it, then don’t. The next day we switched to formula, it was so easy that I wished I had done it ages ago. DS1 was happier, I was happier, my husband was cranky about it for a week then he got on the band wagon and got over it when he realized that I wasn’t biting his head off at every turn anymore. Formula was a lifesaver, and possibly a marriage saver.
When DS2 was born I vowed to breastfeed him exclusively for the first 4 months, then I would switch to formula (due to a medication that I needed to be on). The first month was horrible, my nipples were cracked and bleeding, my breasts were so engorged that I could rest my chin on them and I didn’t have the right size breast shield for my pump so pumping was ineffective for weeks. My son wanted to eat every hour for almost an hour each time, try to take him off and he screamed and cried inconsolably until I gave my breast back to him, this was at night too. Gradually things got better and we had just gotten into a routine at 3 months, I started supplementing around 3 months to get him ready for the transition to formula. When 4 months hit I quit cold turkey and tried to let myself dry up, but not breastfeeding him was killing me. My husband told me that I was acting the way I did with DS1 when breastfeeding wasn’t working, my emotions were all over the place, I was lashing out and I was very depressed. DS2 was not taking to the formula very well, even when we mixed it with some pumped milk, the regular and sensitive tummy stuff just gave him horrible gas bubbles and would leave him screaming for hours He refused the soy stuff, the hypoallergenic stuff ect. and just getting him to eat the pumped milk from the bottle was a challenge. Finally I gave in and popped a boob in his mouth I was lucky enough that I hadn’t entirely dried up yet so I was able to slowly build up my supply again and now he is mostly breast with a little bit of formula because my supply still isn’t what it was. This time breast was the best answer to our problem.
Coming from both sides of the formula/ breast fence, I say go with your gut and do what’s best for you and your family. Don’t feel guilty either way you decide, because it is the best decision for you, and that makes it the right one

Michelle

I’m sorry for all these women who have to return to work. We have 12 months paid maternity leave in Canada. Take the higher taxes here any day for health care and maternity leave. It took me 3 to six months to really start enjoying breast feeding and get my marbles back with my first son. Now, with my second, he is formula fed ( exact opposite of my first who was exclusively BF) and we have a year to bond and have the family adjust before returning to my super busy career! Good luck and best wishes ladies (super heroes)!

Beth

I stuck through it out of sheer stubbornness (6 week maternity leave, low supply, nipple shield for the first 4 months) and honestly, I don’t know if the nutritional benefits alone are worth it but the convenience of extended breastfeeding make it all worthwhile. The second year of breastfeeding and beyond rock right out loud.

Toddler who is so tired they can fall asleep? Magic boob to the rescue. Falls and cracks their head open and won’t chill out to let the paramedics help? Magic boob to the rescue. Won’t drink cow’s milk or eat a balanced diet? Magic boob. Tantrums? So sick they can’t keep anything else down? General emotional strife? Magic boob cures it all.

Infant nursing has it’s ups and downs but toddler nursing is awesome. No pumping, no measuring, no worrying. Totally worth it.

Marie

I think it depends on the situation, in my case, I’m not inclined to breast feed for multiple reasons. Yes I see the benefits of it, however after 9 months of watching what I eat/meds I take enough is enough. Baby is out, enough of my meds are questionable to take, I’d rather not risk the damage the meds might cause and I need to take what I need to take when I need to take it end of story. Plus anxiety can decrease milk supply anyhow. By the way it is a rare mom these days who are available 24 X 7 with the ‘magic boob’ one thing with my anxiety disorder is I have to set reasonable expectations of myself, meaning sometimes the kids will have to depend on daddy or grandma/grandpa, supermom mentality gets me into trouble so I can’t even step on that boat at all.

Kayla

I nursed my first 2 for 5 months each. I’m pregnant with #3, and my husband and I have already decided that I will nurse for the baby to get colostrum, and then I will switch to bottles. My reason: I only really started getting over my PPD (with #1) or PP anxiety (with #2) AFTER I stopped nursing- after I stopping being the only one who could feed and console and get up with our crying baby. I am hoping an early switch to bottles will give me the breaks I need, the sleep I need, and the sanity I have to have!! And I’m determined to feel like a good mom anyway!

Madie

I <3 breastfeeding! I've done it with my 3 kids for a combined total of 42 months 😀 I'm due next month with #4 and look forward to nursing again. I'm also a SAHM so I know that makes it easier.

Sandi

Breastfeeding is a sinch if you stay home with baby or also not too difficult if you work part-time. Are either of those options? Do you work because you want to or because you have to? I think breastfeeding is awesome, and I support moms who want to work for themselves. I think the problem here is that breastfeeding really works well when you are with your baby, and it sounds like that’s not enough during the day. I think breastfeeding would be back to being easy and natural if you spent more hours in the day together. Is that something you would want/could make happen? I know it sounds tough, but I was shocked that we were able to make it work financially (I recommend the “foot down with husband” discussion, that’s what did it for us, lol).

WB

Could you just nurse when you’re home and use formula during childcare? When I started to wean my child, I was amazed that I had just the milk I needed when I needed it. You’ll still have the bonding and the health advantages for you both. Formula isn’t harmful, and this route would probably be better than giving up on nursing completely. I had a really positive experience with nursing, even though, yes, there were painful moments. It was great for my daughter, too, getting her through her first ear infection and the early reflux.

Melissa

I nursed my daughter for 7 months exclusively (after 3 months I went back to work and pumped during the day – what a pain!), then we started working in the formula and by 10 months she was a formula kid. The pumping is soo difficult, but I am proud of myself. Bottom line is do what is best for you. By the 7-10 month mark I was exhausted. I wanted to make it to a year, but you know.. I tried and I did my best. That is all that I could expect from myself.

Now, the second time around I had twin premies. I was hell bent on nursing again. Add a 2 year old, and preemie health problems to the mix… I was able to pump and nurse for about 6 weeks and then after that it just became too much. I sometimes do feel guilty for not giving my boys what their sister had, but also, I am a happier Mom. I get to hand someone a bottle (or two in this case – twins!) and take my 2 year old to the park without stressing about having to get back and pump. When I went back to work, I was already stressed enough having 3 kids under the age of 2.5. I breathe a sigh of relief everytime I walk by the Mother’s Room that I don’t have to deal with it. I was formula fed and I was reasonably healthy and am very happy. It’s not the end of the world and if the cons outweigh the pros then let go.

Hot Topic

Note: This is a fun post spoofing a popular series on one of my favorite technology blogs. The boy scouts have a motto “always be prepared.” My son doesn’t know that because he is 3. But he does like to be prepared in case an adventure (or a 30-minute ride to his grandparents house) presents… Read more »