All observations made at bigfuck.blogspot.com are entirely fictional. Some characters may be real, but you can assume they are fictional as well. The views expressed here do not reflect the opinions of the author, or anyone at all. If you are upset by anything you read here, please do not sue us. Instead, you can send email, and we can go Geylang Lorong 1 and settle (parangs optional).

Thursday, March 24, 2005

As some of you may have noticed, I've made minor changes to the layout of this site; I've also put up a couple more buttons (RSS feeds, voting links - be sure to click them ALL) as well as a little box showing how you can put a stylo milo button on your site linking to mine. Yes, I know you want to do it - don't think; just do it! Anyway, let me know if any of these template tweaks look stupid with your respective browsers, so I can fix all these problems; I use firefox, so I'm not sure if the site will look the same on, say, microsoft's internet sucksplorer.

Ok, back to business. So, as some of you may know, I've recently been fairly obsessed with Singapore blogging sensation Cheng Yan Yan, because she is, well, damn attractive (Oh! Those cuss words! Those curls! That tongue that spawned an internet phenomena!); I even drew a picture of her:

Nice, right? Some of you might be thinking, 'I don't believe this stupid fucker can draw.' You are wrong! I can draw very nice! Here's a picture I drew of myself:

Yes, that's right; I have sunglasses that say 'bad ass'. I'm just that much of a badass. Oh, just so you know, I quit smoking just over a week ago, so that's one of the last pictures I'll have with ciggies.

Anyway, back to my internet crush. So some of my snobby chicago friends, after reading xiaxue's blog, talked about how she wasn't that attractive, or used too much makeup, etc etc. I suppose it's true that she isn't exactly the most attractive woman in the world, but I think all this 'so and so isn't all that attractive' bullshit is getting just a little out of hand.

Let's face it, people. The majority of the world isn't that attractive. Seriously. There are a couple reasons why everyone's standards are so ridiculously high:

1) TV / the mass media: The problem with all this shit is that we see beautiful women / men every day. This makes us think, 'ah, since the world is so beautiful, I should be able to get someone good looking.' Let me tell you, this is a shining example of stupid thinking. Here's a news flash for the deluded: the beautiful people on tv are almost NEVER going to go out with you. It just won't happen, man! I used to dream about dating that girl from My Sassy Girl; it took me damn long to realize it would never happen. I was sad for a whole week. So, yeah, the majority of us will just have to be happy dating the average looking people we find.

2) The availability heuristic. Ok, this is a phenomenon in Social Psychology, which basically means that the easier something is to recall, the more common you think it is. Anyway, what this means is, since you find it easier to remember the pretty people that you see, you think they're more common. Thus, things work like this: you see pretty girl / handsome guy in Orchard / wherever. You find it easier to remember beautiful person (after all, they're beautiful). You thus think there are lots of beautiful people around. Haha! You are wrong! Next time you go out, open your eyes big big so you can see all the average looking people out there. Maybe you should even keep count of the average versus attractive people. The result? There are definitely less attractive people than average people.

Seriously, folks, this is an alarming trend. If all of us raise our standards so high, in the end, the whole world will end up chasing after the same 2 people or something. It will suck. Thus, I encourage all of you to find average people pretty.

I know, some of you will be saying, 'how the hell is this possible? Not attractive means not attractive, stupid!'

Fear not, I have a cunning plan!

See, there's this thing called the mere exposure effect; it's a really simple concept. Basically, the more you see something (or someone), the more you find it (or him, or her) attractive. No kidding. If you don't believe me, here's an experiment you can do it prove it.

1) Take this picture (an old picture of me from my NS days):

2) Print it out; even better rasterbate it first, and then print it out (on a side note, the rasterbator is an awesome program which you should check out regardless).

3) Put the picture somewhere you can see it every day.

After a couple weeks, you will probably think I am damn attractive. I know, some of you don't believe me; well, follow these instructions. I totally dare you.

So, anyway, back to the point. I think it would be damn awesome if we started a circle of people who just kept posting pictures of each other; then we would all seem more attractive. Just look at Mr. Miyagi; after posting so many pictures of himself, he begins getting wedding proposals and whatnot from random fans. This is clearly an example of the mere exposure effect. Here's my plan:

If it works out, everyone will become more attractive, because we keep seeing the same damn faces all the time. It will be awesome. Suddenly, we'll all seem a lot more attractive. I call it operation make everyone more attractive.

What do you guys think? Good idea, huh?

Awesome.

Before I sign out, I just saw a link to my blog in the comments section on some page written in an obscure language (incidentally, the post was a ripoff of a recent xiaxue post). Man, I love being quoted, especially when it's in a foreign language.

-j-: Yeah, her photoshop skills might be fantastic, but that only makes her cooler.

sb: see? this idea is never ever going to work. I think forget it, lah.

lynnyl: hearing you say that, I figure I'm going to post pictures in, like, EVERY post. or maybe every other one. Awesome.

aq: groupies can only be a good thing. I mean, seriously.

fansipan: Big up to vietnam. I've always wanted to visit. If I had a fanclub there, I'd be over the moon; I mean, free accomodation! Woohoo!

Sunflowr: Fanclubs, like groupies, can only be a good thing.

Celle: I think hubbies unlove their wives not because of repeated exposure, but because of all the other things related to living together. It's also a matter of the associations you make, I guess. It's complicated. Suffice to say, I'm a firm believer in the fact that, if you just show pictures and pictures and pictures of the same person, eventually viewers will find that person more attractive. Really!

Guess some of you misunderstood me ... my bad English. I wanted to say that one girl there really liked your writing and your sense of humor. If there were such a fanclub, she would join it immediately :P

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