"We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture."
~Reverend Ray Mummert

Friday, November 22, 2013

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Philosophy Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The Philosophy Department...umm...because...well...er...because they're the ones who figured out there is something rather than nothing and that means part of the something is sucky blogs, so deal with it OK? We mean, consider the alternative. If there was nothing instead of something then that nothing would be something, so nothing and something are just two variations on a theme, one particular version of which comes with the reality of glasses into which Stoli can be poured. Take your victories where you find them people.

Where were we? Oh yeah, Friday Hound Blogging.

It seems the city fathers in South Tucson have been presented with an existential dilemma. To wit: If you abandon a law you never enforced in the first place, was there ever really a law? Frequent reader(s) of this blog are aware the truth is out there, and with any luck it will stay out...erm...we mean may recall a while back the local residents--apparently delirious and in the throes of a massive outbreak of empathy--passed an ordinance outlawing the injection of steroids which were used by the overlords to interrupt the natural cycles of female greyhounds so they could keep racing because best treatment and finest care is the overlord code of ethics.

Well, to say the overlords were a bit honked off by this blatant attempt of outsiders to interfere with their efforts to maintain the highest standards of heedful attention and deep regard for the racing units, which is born out of devotion to their furry business partners, is an understatement on the order of believing you could solve Molyneux's problem by flicking the lights on and off. As Tucson Weekly reporter Tim Vanderpool told us:

But even in its twilight, Tucson's track still raises a ruckus. Much of
this turmoil dates from a 2008 ordinance passed by voters in the city of
South Tucson. Ever since those laws were enacted, the track has relentlessly mocked them.

Now, as you might imagine, "relentlessly mocking" the duly constituted legal authority in the area did not sit well with the aforementioned authorities, so immediate action was called for:

South Tucson no longer will enforce a ban on administering steroids to greyhounds.

And hence the philosophical dilemma alluded to earlier. How does one attempt to resolve a conundrum of such complexity and intricacy? Perhaps it's time to appeal to a higher power.

The decision came after the city received a letter from Bill Walsh,
director of the Arizona Department of Racing, notifying it that state
law on racing regulation pre-empts the city from enforcing a ban on
steroids.

Bill Walsh huh? OK not the first name that would come to mind when contemplating a being that engages not in feeling, but thinking, and he himself is the object
of his contemplation and is thus unaffected by the world in any
way, but we'll hold that thought in abeyance right now and give you the benefit of the doubt. How has the apparently spiritually inspiring Walsh communicated his wishes to you?

In an email statement to the Arizona Daily Star, Walsh said: “The law
itself was poorly written and failed to make clear who is responsible
for enforcing the ban. To have a ban of this sort, some agency must have
both the authority and the ability to run the testing program, which
carries with it a considerable cost, if it is to be effective.”

We see. And of course the Walsh has the resources to effectively enforce the ban even though it "carries with it a considerable cost," correct? Especially now that the Walsh has been kicked off the state budget and forced to rely the kindness of those the Walsh "regulates." Maybe the Walsh can do a loaves and fishes thing with the budget. We'll have faith.

What's that you say Jenks? Faith can never be a matter of objective certainty; it involves no
reckoning of probabilities, it is not an intellectual acceptance of a
doctrine at all. Faith involves a submission of the intellect. It
is not only hostile to but also completely beyond the grasp of
reason? Oh. Well, guess the means it's an objective certainty the female greyhounds at TGP will still be injected.

I am a wonderful boy. I can be a bit rambunctious as I
am very young, but I have calmed down since I have been in my foster
home. I love to be wherever my foster Mom is. I love to go for walks
and I do very well on the leash. I have toys but I haven’t learned how
to play with them yet. I sleep through the night. I am completely
housebroken. I love the other Greyhound that is in my foster home, but I don’t do well with small dogs or cats so I won’t be able to live with either. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

8 comments:

The problem, Freddie, is that regulation of greyhounds and greyhound racing at pari-mutuel facilities in Arizona is the responsibility of the Arizona Department of Racing. I hope you don't mind if we feature your little "blog" on the Grey2k Deception Facebook page. We like to humor our readers, and your little blog is pretty laughable.

They do, Freddie. Kennels and farms are regularly inspected. I'll have to cut you some slack. I understand you have never experienced greyhound racing first hand. All of your greyhound "knowledge" comes from your handlers at Michigan REGAP and Grey2k USA. You, Barton, are a simple minion.

"Florida's regulation of dog racing is so lax that a Sarasota greyhound track was allowed to start its racing season last week in defiance of a state rule that bans the use of unsanitary and dangerous wooden crates.'In all our years of covering regulatory agencies, I can’t quite fathom a regulatory agency allowing this to occur,'said Michael Diamond of Spectrum Gaming, a consulting company hired by Florida lawmakers to complete a report on gambling in Florida."

Now Frederick, I know you're a few cards short of a deck, but try to focus. We're talking about the Arizona Department of Racing, and they do, in fact, regulate greyhound racing in that state. And they do a very good job.

Are you one of these "everything I know about greyhound racing I learned on the internet" guys?

Well Freddie, I guess you have a right to an opinion about dog racing. A shame you're not smart enough to go out in the world and see things for yourself. It must be true what they say: Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. See you at the races, little guy.

OK,we've been dealing with overlords long enough to know that when you make a point that they totally ignore in their response that's their way of saying conversation's over. So have a good holiday. See you at the decoupling hearings.