As you watch this trailer for Outcast, the story of a man who murders his father, the Emperor of China, so that he can take the throne by also killing his own brother and his family, you’re probably going to think that the height of comedy is Hayden Christensen’s goofy haircut. But it’s only an appetizer to the main course that is Nicolas Cage’s cartoon character accent that sneaks up on you like a fart in a hot car, as Christensen’s character is poisoned or sleepy or high on ecstasy and ultimately needs the help of an old friend, only to be met by, “‘Ow’d ya find me, lad?”

You’d have thought that Cage would have ended his own personal Renaissance Faire after back-to-back comedies like The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and Season of the Witch, but we’re all much better off when Cage gets to play make believe. After all, he gets a paycheck for talking like a bad guy in an Oliver Twist porn parody and we get another serving of Crazy Ol’ Nic Cage.

I watched it and all I saw were light sabers instead of swords. (Just substitute sand people and baby jedis for the Chinese bad guys – hell, the prequels were all filmed on green screen, so they might have used some of the same footage.) He’s pretty much the same shitty actor…you know, based on a 2:00 trailer with maybe 25 seconds of dialogue.

This is a sequel to Season Of The Witch, and a prequel to The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. All Nic Cage movies are set in the same universe, and he’s playing the same character, gradually losing his mind as he travels through time.