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Tuesday, 24 January 2012

A visit to the Head's Office.......

So. A full term and a couple of weeks into school, and I'm hoping a pattern has not just begun.

Sasha paid her first visit to the Head's Office today.

I'd like to think it would be her last, but as sure as I am that Tamsin will never have to go to the Head's Office (OK so I'm touching wood here just in case!), is as sure as I am that Sasha will be treated to another office trip soon enough in her school career.

It's all fine, kind of. In that, yes, it was a trip for disobedience rather than a treat, but it all seemed to be handled very well by the class teacher. Sasha was just having a day where she definitely did not want to participate in any of the activities on offer, even though non-participation isn't really an option. She got to the point where she was just lying on the floor and I think an assistant had to physically lift her to then walk to the main building to see the Head Teacher with her.

The thing is, I could tell straight away from the teacher's description of the day that this wasn't Sasha being distressed or having a meltdown; she was just being obstreperous (oooh, big word!). I still can't go as far as calling it naughty, because Sasha wasn't really aware in those moments that she was being naughty. She can't explain why she was sent to the Head's Office and so it doesn't really mean a lot to her. I think she does know that you get a warning card or see the Head if you are naughty, but there's no awareness that that actually applies to her!

The teacher did have a smile on her face as she recounted the day to me, largely because Sasha kept telling her all day that she was cross or angry because the teacher was making her sad (by asking or telling her to do things she didn't want to!!!). When she came out to me, she hung her head and told me how upset she was - again, no real awareness that she had been naughty or that it was her fault, just an air of having been badly done by... I did have to look away to stop myself from laughing! It's quite cute in a way, but obviously we do try and talk to her about what has happened in the hope that some of it will begin to sink in and she can learn from it.

My biggest fear before Sasha started school was that they would have to exclude her at some point on grounds of bad behaviour - not violence or aggression, just refusal to take part. Then her school journey began and has been going so well that my biggest fear changed. I've worried that she will become a school refuser at some point, if something happens to upset her - I won't be able to get her to actually go in the first place. Now, all of a sudden, I've swung back to worrying about the behaviour... watch this space!

Amazon

What is Autism?

'Autism is a lifelong developmental disability that affects the way a person communicates and relates to people around them. People with autism have difficulties with everyday social interaction'.What is PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)?

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is one of several Autistic Spectrum Conditions (also known as ASD, Autistic Spectrum Disorder). The central difficulty for people with PDA is their avoidance of the everyday demands made by other people, due to their high anxiety levels when they feel that they are not in control.

Children may sometimes be described as having 'challenging' or 'oppositional' behaviour. Parents describe life as 'walking on eggshells' and their child as 'Jekyll and Hyde'.