Parliamentary Sketch Writer for The Sydney Morning Herald

THERE were probably one or two things Prime Minister Julia Gillard would rather have done at the end of her week than open her home to the entire press gallery for the annual Lodge Christmas drinks.

Like skol a schooner of rusty nails. Get trapped in a lift with Alan Jones. Or perhaps eat a plateful of her own hair using chopsticks.

At the very least, a gin and tonic on the terrace with Tim and Ruben the First Labradoodle (who has the twin positive attributes of being both furry and non-judgmental) might have been in order.

Gillard has spent the week fending off allegations of criminal conduct outside Parliament and of "unethical behaviour and possible unlawful conduct" within it.

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Yesterday it came to an ugly crescendo when the Prime Minister nicked a Coalition tactic and moved to suspend standing orders to force the Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, to back up his earlier claim, made on morning television, that Gillard's conduct as a lawyer breached the law.

"Australians are rightly sick of sleaze and smear," she cried across the parliamentary table, aflame in a hot pink suit.

"Your 15 minutes starts now."

Abbott wouldn't go so far on the parliamentary record as to accuse the Prime Minister of definite illegality, but said her actions in the 1990s amounted to "conduct unbecoming" of a prime minister (There was a lot of that going around in the '90s – the haircuts of the entire cast of Beverly Hills 90210 could be submitted if proof were needed).

The Prime Minister denied all wrong-doing.

"The Leader of the Opposition is not a decent man and he is not a man who can be relied on to go to the facts," she told Parliament.

To which the manager of opposition business interjected: "You always personalise it!", drawing howls of umbrage from the government benches.

It was an apt summary of the political year, on both sides.

From Peter Slipper to misogyny, by way of alleged wall-punching and slush-fund-rorting, along the valley of sexual harassment and union credit card creativity, and described in language both maritime-themed and fruity, it has been a highly personal political journey.

We have learnt the difference between twinks and bears, pondered the slippery slope implications of gay marriage and we have mourned the death of Kevin Rudd's cat.

Soon it was time for the valedictory speeches, or as former prime minister John Howard used to call them, "The Hypocrisies", when the leaders of both parties review the year in a spirit of goodwill and wish each other Merry Christmas.