A few inches changes the world.

Monthly Archives: April 2011

If there is one trend I still can’t get behind it’s socks with sandals, a’ la Mulberry. Sure, it looks appealing in print, in a devil may care sort of way, but you know it will never execute that way in the harsh light of reality, where posing in front of a fan all day would just look bsc (bat shit crazy).

I am happy to report, on the other hand, hot pants are back for another Spring and Summer. And that is a trend I can get behind, and one that will make your behind look fabulous! The Balenciaga by Nicolas Ghesquiere loose-fitting pair is so popular, Vogue has a two page ad while W has them featured as part of a 14 page seasonal collection. Prada and Versace both have the traditional body-hugging style hot pant in light colors. Pale pinks for Prada, and white with gold stud embellishments for Versace. Guess is sporting a black corset-style hot pant. DSquared2 is also in on the trend with their denim version.

If only we could all shop Balenciaga, Prada, Versace. For those of us middle-incomers, there are some hot pant options. After a quick Google, I’ve found a few to start with.

The High-Waist Short from Victoria’s Secret offers the short short style of the hot pant, with a more accessible waist for our low-riders out there.

Loving the cranberry from Urban Outfitters in their Cooperative High-Rise Denim short. But, de-hipster the look with a clean pair of nude heels or a nice strappy sandal. If you feel the need to toe the hipster line, please go with a pair of desert boots.

Every woman loves to be asked: Where did you find that?? when wearing a piece of jewelry. When so many trends are repeated ad-nauseum, it’s a real source of pride to find something that stands alone.

When I met Brittney, she was wearing one of her pieces, a hand-crocheted multi-strand necklace, with several loops of Swarovski crystals binding the strands in the middle. It was gorgeous, it was unique, and I had to have it. “I made it,” was her reply. “Will you make more?” I instantly asked. She smiled, and I knew we were in business. I quickly commissioned 3 necklaces; 2 gifts, and one for myself, of course.

Since giving my sister her piece of B.Pos (not just a shortening of Brittney’s name, but also a signature of her style and personality), Chicago has been interested in the style. My sister gets asked all the time: Where did you get that necklace??

Every woman has been side-swiped by a break-up. We’ve been dumped, and never saw it coming. And, damn, does it hurt. The break-up hurts, but the shock of it all hurts more, as often than not. It’s not seeing it coming, thinking everything is fine, and then, BAM- everything’s changed.

Women naturally take time to care for a relationship. Like sparrows building and maintaining their nest, they flit to and from, with pieces of twig to build and patch, always busy with this bit and that bit. Women do this in romantic and friendly relationships. We check-in, we ask how someone is doing, we try to keep an eye on the progress or health of a relationship. Women also communicate to let others know how we feel about a relationship.

It can be harder for men to do this initially. Men haven’t been taught to play house from the time they could walk. Men aren’t given baby dolls to care for, talk to, check-in with. They are taught to compete against each other, play next to their contemporaries, with minimal relational interaction. In many ways, men get picked up and taken along for a ride in their first relationships. Eventually, though, they can learn to build a nest- the male sparrow brings twigs just as well as the female does.

While men can eventually learn the skills it takes to build a good relationship; they do certainly choose when to use them. It is harder for women to learn to be more selfish in relationships, as men often are. To focus on what a relationship can give them, and determine, focusing only on themselves, if the relationship is satisfactory. Women, in their striving to create a warm and stable nest, are willing to make far more compromises than men are. And in a society in which there are more women than men, this habit becomes even stronger. However, in willing to compromise so much, the woman gives away all her power, instead of securing a partner.

The fact is, today’s woman is pretty amazing. She either has a career, or is starting one. She is educated, and has a mind full of ideas. She has style. She is warm and affectionate. She has a full life. She doesn’t need to continue to compromise with a man that doesn’t see her for who she is. Any man with half a brain would fall over himself trying to keep this woman!

The winter season is a mine field of “romantic” holidays for the single gal. New Year’s followed by Valentine’s Day. To complicate matters, the single dude interprets the holidays far differently than our dudette.

For us single ladies, there is no automatic definition required for a date for either New Year’s or Valentine’s. We don’t need a boyfriend. Sometimes, we just prefer to be squired about as all the lucky girls in couples get to be on these holidays. In the case of New Year’s; we’d like to be kept in drink, perhaps danced about, kissed at midnight, and if you’ve done your job well, and you’re lucky… who knows. Valentine’s- if we’re not sacrificing a virgin to end this unholy of unholy Hallmark holidays, a simple fun night out on the town with a candidate that’s at the least not a mouth-breather would suffice.

Men, on the other hand, attribute all plethora of meaning to these otherwise silly holidays. If they are not planning on the date on New Year’s or V-day as their grand gesture signifying a next step in their relationship with a woman; they’re treating the day as a metal box with air duct arms flailing, rolling towards them screeching, “danger Will Robinson, danger!!!!” This second male will flee from any female they’re dating, lest they give the impression they are going to propose simply by kissing her at midnight or eating with her on a day in February.

Who’s to blame men for feeling the pressure of romance on these holidays? In the past couple years, we’ve seen the entertainment industry create truly obvious films made to cash in on these scripted holidays. It all started with “Love Actually,” a Christmas film with a cast of several stars, most notably Hugh Grant, and intertwining story lines, all heat-breakingly or heart-warmingly climatic. Well, that one did so well, why not follow with “Valentine’s Day,” more obviously named; with an even more star-studded cast and story lines more obvious. Finally, we have “New Year’s Eve,” as superficial and see-through as a movie can get, in cast and script. But, falling in line just the same, to communicate the message: these holidays are meant for couples, romance, taking the next step; relationship propaganda that in actuality has the opposite effect.

In a world of pressures from every angle, and coming as fast as your modem can carry them; it’s not shocking the US divorce rate is as high as it is. Media is not only telling men and women they are not good enough as individuals: they are not successful enough, they are not skinny enough, they don’t have the right car, they don’t have the right bag… But, now we are constantly bombarded with messages that our relationships aren’t good enough. In movies and television, delicate, guarded women swoon for perfect, successful men who are grandly romantic, who might make mistakes, but in the end they say just the right thing, in just the right, GRAND way, at just the right time. How could anyone live up to this message?

This winter, cut each other some slack, offer a little understanding. And, keep in mind, sometimes, whether it’s the 31st or the 14th, sometimes, it’s just a date night.