My Life's Scrapbook

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I'm kinda feeling like a complete bloated, lazy ass and don't feel like typing up some long review....

Lucky for you, lovely's, I made a video and put the review on youtube. HOWEVER! I was tired, my hair was orange from my school pep rally (the class color for us is orang), and my hair was just a mess period. Oh... and I got off of topic once or twice. Oh well... that's what coffee does to me sometimes XD

Monday, September 20, 2010

Ok, ok. Weird enough question right. Maybe you have, maybe you haven't. Maybe it was physical, or maybe it was mental.

I'm suffering from the later of the two and it's fucking killing me.

School certainly does know how to rip you open, snatch your soul and rip it into a million irreparable pieces. For me it hasn't happened all at once. No one major event, but rather, constant little ones that just build up.

Nothing i do is good enough. My grades are dropping. For example I have an 80 right now in spanish. I'M FUCKING HALF MEXICAN! I did poorly on the last quiz simply cause I did not even finish reading the sentences. I just conjugated a random word.

Also this morning was kind of bad. I was driving to school, about to get there when my sister text me to tell me she forgot her gym bag in the car. I had to go back and take it to her. This caused ME to be late. I'M FUCKING PAYING THE PRICE FOR HER STUPIDITY! It's infuriating. I kept hitting my leg with my phone cause obviously one can't cut and drive at the same time.

Now I'm not one to bruise easily AT ALL, but I actually have a bruise from hitting myself. That should give you an idea of that....

*ugh* Now I'm in a numbness. I really feel like just giving up. I've been mentally beaten by school, family, the scale, ect. so many times. I'm tired of having to get up after being pushed down constantly. I'm sick of it

Giving up by Ingrid MichaelsonI am giving up on making passes andI am giving up on half empty glasses andI am giving up on greener grassesI am giving up

Monday, September 13, 2010

Well, sorry I haven't updated in forever but you know how it is. Schools a bitch and takes up all my time :S

Well I just wanted to tell yall about something excited I'm going to embark on (hence the sea reference at the beginning.)

As you all know I have been and am currently a lacto- ovo vegetarian for over a year now. This means that I eat no actual animal flesh, but do eat eggs and dairy. I absolutely LOVE it, but it's time I make a change. I'm ready for the next step. I am going to become a vegan.

Becoming a vegetarian was easy for me (over night change) because my father is one so I always saw what he ate and we had the proper ingredients in our home. But since I'm going to be the only one going vegan in my house, it's going to be a bit more challenging.

I won't attempt to do this over night. Right now my goal is to eat 50% vegan 50% vegetarian. This leaves me a TON of wiggle room incase my only options are from an animal.
For example, a lot of times since I rush out of the house and can't pack a virtually cal free salad like I would like, I buy this protien bar at my school.

It taste great, it fills me up, AND it give me 30g of protein; however, it has things such as whey (a protein from cow's milk) in it.

I'm going to see if I can find some cheap and low cal vegan options. Like this possibly:

I'll also be drinking but loads of green smoothies in the mornings and such. Basically just thriving on the low calorie healthiness nature has given us.

Maybe I'm just a big hippie, but I'm really excited to go into this new lifestyle because I really hope it helps me to stop bingeing cause no one likes that.

About Me

I created this blog so I can share my feelings. I am a self injurer and have very disordered eating (I have both restricted severely and binged and purged ).
No one that knows me know so I'm going to keep it that way. Know if you read this that you can comment and I will always reply and you are NOT alone.