I smell the scent in the water
As it pushes through my gills
My desire to return
beckons me to the place of my birth
For me the desire consumes me
I struggle against the current
Imagining my place of rest
I desire to place my children
safely on a bed of stones
Sweet water to welcome me home
I know this to be a perilous Journey
I may travel over a hundred miles
Grizzly bears and Eagles block my path
They are to be my test
Yet I am strong
I have swam the oceans
I have known predators greater than these
They will not impede my path
Flying upward in the air
I glimpse the night moon
reaching towards my horizon
water splashes as I make my way higher
Almost
yes, almost home
I push beyond my limits
gathering speed
My sisters and I
we turn the river red
Arriving
thankfully arriving
imagination spawns reality
Estuary,
cool relief!
I release seven times
Now, completely exhausted
I can finally rest
Thirteen years
I have waited
To come home.

I need to hide
to drown my sorrow
to not feel obligated to stay a secret
the darkness to blanket my self inflicted pain
the thunder to stifle my screams
the lightening to set me on fire
I need it to rain...
I need to be revitalized and invigorated
to feel serene and tranquil
to be calm and collected
the darkness to bring me peace
the thunder to direct my mind
the lightening to guide my heart
I need it to rain...
I need to escape
to feel the ground at my feet
to feel the wind in my hair
the darkness to blind my captor
the thunder to clap in approval
the lightening to sever my shackles
I need it to rain...
I need to grow
to heighten my potential
to cultivate and thrive
the darkness to shelter my fraility
the thunder to ward off any imminent danger
the lightening to strike as my weapon
I need it to rain...
I need to be laid to rest
for someone to cry for me
for someone to long for me
the darkness to resemble my abscence
the thunder to echo my voice through your ears
the lightening to flash visions of me before your eyes
I need it to rain...

Fate and the False Hope
Arrow of fate flies silently straight
targeted mark is found never too late
Man thinks himself master of his fate
forever the fish takes in hopes bait
Time clouds storm right on along
men, ants in a loud, dusty throng
Vanity stirs in such shallow hearts
unmindful of Fate's piercing darts
Burrowing deeply into their mound
seeking treasure never to be found
Their Queen , mistress of dark lust
deep down epic lamentations or bust
Fate flows readily into the dark deeps
man wickedly schemes even as he sleeps
Robert J. Lindley 09-11-2014

I feel like my life is a clean slate
When I’m reaching out to you
I feel you lingering in my thoughts...
You stitched up my insecure frame of mind
And stitched up the little pieces of memory
That knits a smile on my face
I don't know how to escape my poverty and unstable reality
I ask the darkness kindly, “Will you set me free?”
I should've drove on another lane...
Now I'm far from home…I took the wrong turn
And you’re looking after me while I’m reaching out to you…
You cheer me up with your appealing effulgence
You beam at me as if your the sun, illuminating the sorrowful sky...
You amaze me with your brightness and brilliance
My fears are tearing me up like a pitbull, devouring fresh meat
I’m searching hard for you…as if you’re valuable and
How could you be so good and charitable?
You’re embraceable…and I’m reaching out to you
For you reveal to me the truth that soothes my soul from troubles
My tears are springing out of my blue-green eyes
I hate it when you have to wave your goodbyes
You mean no harm by it; your gratitude shines on
Untangle me from my demise and help me reach success
But, what is true success?
I can always reach out for you, right?
Make me satisfied with your bravery and undying light
Take me away from my mystifying reality...
Sift out my remorse
Things are getting out of hand...things are getting out of course
But, keep this between us:
You will always be the one that shows me my heart’s deep melody
You drown away all misery…and you make me taste your glory
I wish I could fight your wars for you
You are reaching out for me…but I’m useless…
And powerless – you’ll never find any progress
Where my life is heading towards…
But you won’t reject my helping hand
We should both go to a wonderful land
Please don't refuse this offer…don’t throw it away
I’m reaching out for you every night and day…
Stay with me forever until I die...
We’ll share our glory
By taking turns writing our fascinating story
Will there be an open door for me to step inside our dazzling dreamland?
Will it lead us to His promise land? – that would be grand!
We feel so trapped in our solitary cave…
We’re reaching out for each other
I believe that you'll remain strong all throughout our hardships
You'll reach the finish line in no time...do it with all of your might
And soon, you'll discover that delightful light
But for now, we're blanketed with darkness in this mysterious cave
Be brave... You can do anything if you put your mind to it...
Try your best and never be brought low by discouragement,
Though we’re stuck in a warped-up pit
Some people will test your determination or push your buttons...
But keep on running!! Keep ignoring the adversaries
They will run fast, but you can run faster than those unfeeling enemies
Send me your love and never look back or else…
You’ll never be able to reach out for me
Or vise versa… so come flee with me and we’ll always be
In good favor with God, the Almighty creator that makes our heart pump with glee
Keep your pace and put forth tons of effort...think of the marvelous victory
I wish I could be in your shoes just for this terrific event…or we can both feel it at that moment of positivity
Help me stay on track...trample away my fears…
Don’t stab my back…with your overflowing tears…
I’m reaching out for you and I’m waiting for miracles to appear
So that I’ll thank the Lord for putting us in good hands
Remind me not to look back...I feel very lost and scared –
Scrub away my tears and fill my heart with cheers
Help me have an open and prudent mind, so I can accept reality as it is
I need sleep - let me rest and wish me sweet dreams
Or I'll be breaking by the seams…
Breaking by the seams
I’m still reaching out for you, hoping you can hear me
I hope you find a place you call your Island of Ecstasy
If I were an angel, I'd guide you to your destiny and hand you the right directions
To make you truly understand that I love you dearly…I’ll show you my affections
Could I run with you?
How far are you willing to go?
Are you running the extra mile?
Am I slowing you down or am I acting senile?
It was hard to admit the fact that I loved you
Should I confess my feelings towards you? Would it be too out of the blue?
Would it open new doors for me or would it gain displeasure?
Hopefully the doors won't close for the sake of our Heart
Should I trust you with my life? Will the dreary and dark clouds depart?
Why does it feel so good to think about you?
My heart's yearning for love again…that’s nothing new
I’m reaching out to you – our ascending spirits are gold, not blue

There is a place you can go that is full of only love and Warmth .
you will be surrounded by a light that shines from the Heavens ,
Sprinkles of Silver and Gold.
This place is filled with brilliant colors of Purple , vibrant Gold, all colors.
not one Color is less significant then another ,
for every color is equal here .
This place is surrounded by the beauty of different Flowers.
All flowers have significance here . No one Flower is better then another .
All Flowers are equal here .
It is important you know , you can cry here , and should cry as often as needed .
For the tears will cleanse your Soul and give the Flowers water to grow.
No one Tear is insignificant here , every tear has value and not one is better then another .
money holds no value , Where you live , what you own, has no significance here .
You will be surrounded by a beautiful light that shines from the Heavens .
A shining warm light will encircle you and allow nothing to hurt you .
Hate will be shed at the door light a old jacket of no use.
There is a place of beauty and Worth.
This place will not be found on Earth .
It is a place where no one person is better then another .

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013
I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over
Taught me to fight back
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over
He gave me my stubbornness
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over
How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over
Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on
I may stumble I may fall
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over
Sabrina Niday Hansel
______________________________________________________________________
Placed 1st in "Unsung Hero" 7/2014 contest
Also 3rd. in "Portrait of a Poet" 1/2014

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died,
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping,
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it,
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain,
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best,
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia

Far away from this bonded crowd,
Far away from these layers of
shroud,
Oh wings of the air glide me away,
To the world, world above the
clouds.
To the giant mountains of mist,
Where sparkling houses of rain
will
be built,
World beneath where would be
moving,
And sun rays where will be cold
and soothing.
Where I won’t be bound by laws,
And I could speak freely about
the
things I love aloud,
Yeah to the world with cloud
above the clouds,
Where everything just everything
will be allowed.
Sliding on morning dews that stays
till night,
Diving in the night’s sky that looks
like morning light,
With no paths to follow,
I’ll glide free and fast,
Yawing, pitching, bouncing,
shouting,
Like the endless penumbra it’s
unknown where I’ll last
Yeah endless it is,
And it’s unknown where I’ll last
For Above the CloudsContest
I think I am late :-( posting this
anyways

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare
You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark
The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy
You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark.

L-iving in a world of vast
souls formed from
another voided world,
E-ntering thru portals
from their world to earth.
O-ozing spetacular smell
and wail when the chips
are down.
N-urtured from cradle to
adulthood-independent
entity with a new world
to face.
O-rganizes oneself for the
task ahead,passing thru
hurdles of life unabased
and unabashed.
R-eaps the fruit of labor
with joy or heavy heart.
A-ge sets in,mission
accomplished or not will
dawn on the entity.
I-n retrospect,he thinks
about his childhood and
how life was to him.
L-iving in confidence or
shame,he bows his head
in victory or defeat.
O-nly the taste of time
will tell the durability of
his achievements.
V-oid of preference the
aim result bears the
foundation for his lineage.
E-njoyment or lack lies
with the works of the
man,for there is no food
for the slothful.
Y-oung ones,a stitch in
time saves nine,make
haste while the sun
shines.
O-iling your lamb always
like the ten virgins is the
key to success.
U-rging you to shun peer
pressure and focus on
the course marked out
for you by fate,so a
fulfilled life you shall live.
An acrostic for you
Leonora Galinita.

chasing the dream
falling into a scheme
screaming as I fall
nails scratch the wall
going down
down
down
wake in a new place
hands reach and rub my face
people come to greet me
and they all agree
I'm not from this land
so they take my hand
and lead me to the queen
(who is quite mean!)
all dressed in red
from toes to head
then I meet an extraordinary man
who tells me how this world began
next to him are a mouse and hare
who go thru life without a care
that is where I meet the cat
who gives the man back his hat
a smile set upon his face
randomly appearing in a different place
taking me to see a girl in white
who asks me to join the fight
against the dragon who roams
the skies above their homes
I must agree
for is my destiny
dressed in my silver suit
ready to beat the brute
his wing flap against my face
why am I in this place!?
my sword comes down in a crash
he had no time to dash
now he’s dead and I must leave
but the man grabs my sleeve
and dances a little jig
and tells me that the world’s no to big
I give hugs and say goodbye
never shall these memories die
when back at my palace
I spoke my name aloud
“Alice.”

Quite frankly, I don't remember at all
You see I was quite young when I took my first fall.
Don't know which parent was there to catch me
Or how hard the decision was to stand back and let me.
Did I topple forward or backward, or who made the call.
And who scooped me up crying
After the fall.
I can't remember the joy of first letting go
And taking that step without holding on.
Groping my way forward
Leaning against the wall
I got back up
After the fall.
As the Earth spun the years flew by so fast
At 17 I finally knew everything at last!!
Unexpectedly, I fell once again,
Head over heels this time
And out on a limb.
I was so sure of that bet
I gambled it all
Heart bruised abused and then broken
After that fall.
And then I broke my own promise
To not love again.
Hungry for life
I gambled to win.
Life is a theatre of first steps first
A one act play with no time to rehearse.
Co starring in roles
Cast without planning.
"Never more" echoes
The raven still chanting.
Undaunted unwilling
To let darkness win all
Trusting Father to be there
After the fall.
Then the day came
When I had a son
To let him learn the word hot And hope he'd not run,
Would he still love me
Or trust me at all
When I pulled my hand back
And allowed him to fall?
And knowing I'd be there again
To help him to stand
And knowing he might never walk
If I didn't let go of his hand
And hoping he didn't revert back to a crawl
When I let go of his hand
And allowed him to fall.
As the earth kept on turning
My heart kept yearning
My son now a man
Living and learning.
He hasn't held my hand now in a very long time
The cats in the cradle slowly plays in the back of my mind.
I looked in the mirror today
And noticed my dad.
And remembered a talk that we'd never had.
Remembering how he seemed towering and tall
And was there every time
After each fall.
I lose my balance these days now and again
My steps aren't as sure
As they once might have been.
In the winter of life now
I feel so small
And wonder who'll catch me
If I take a fall.
I suppose I'll just have to trust Father
With both great things and small
To pick me up on the other side
When I take my last fall.

How can one express the baffling depths of obscurity?
How can one behold to open the shafts of the mind?
I have never been able to solve the mystery—
Of myself. . .
I wish at times that my life was no more
That I could live as another and finally see things right
But I am always stuck in this darkness
And I cannot see this mind in light
There are beasts. . .demons prowling through the wasteland
Searching for any remaining life
And if they are ever found—
They are doomed and consumed
Fear is their downfall and they never fail to smell it
Their ashes remain, dancing with the imaginary breeze
It is silent here—there are no answers
I wish there were answers. . .
But maybe there was never a reason
No answers. . .
Talons extend and clench around my heart
They will never seek me out—they left me here
It is like they knew…I had no reason—that was the answer
I feel the pulse of my dangling life
Alone in the dark, whimpering like a child
I have scared myself, becoming this dragon-daggered youth
No balm in Gilead!
No eyes to see
All I know will never be free
I don’t need anyone!
You are a disgrace—scum of the waste!
You have everything, you ungrateful little nothing
You are a joke. . .
So swallow it all up like the pushover you are
Stand your lowest and trudge right through
No questions. No answers. Just . You.
Or just lie back down into the mush of disease
It has already infected you to the core
Accept who you are, you ugly pestilence!
I hate you
Who are you to be glorified?
Dream snatcher. . .murderer of all things bright
Saturated in what you call light
I see right through—even as the reflections shatter
All of the dead kept you alive—they all matter…
But alive you are the worst there is
False savior—edited attention whore
I never want to see your face again
See, that’s why I hide. . .
Desperation. . .desperation. . .
I sob and cry kneeling in defeat
For once I am right. . .I am right

As I sit here on this warm, solid shore
beneath a lighthouse I adore.
It stands perfect, beautiful and mint
the roof shingled, a lovely brown tint.
its beacons, a blazing blue hue,
shine light upon all that I knew.
One day a while ago. Past the fog of the bay
my lighthouse shimmered and played
its beacons shown with a stare
at a new land, an island out there.
I had seen hints of it while looking around
though never thinking I’d leave this fertile ground.
As the fog lifted and cleared
my lighthouse showed a path that was close. I steered
through this maze of perils towards the new shores
Glancing at the edge of this place, suddenly I want more.
I want to venture and explore it so
Thank you my lighthouse for your allowing glow.
This new isle of desire,
surrounded by a bright red ring of fire
has two beautiful blue pools, clear and deep
a cave so welcoming, sweet sounds did seep
Its lovely peaks were thoroughly explored.
with light patch of grass along the other shore.
For all its beauty and wonderment, true enjoyment
lies within the relaxing feel of each moment.
Around this isle I can be myself without a worry.
It has welcomed me and listened to my stories.
I listened as the breeze told tales, many that related
The warmth felt upon these shores makes me elated
This isle has been so inviting
every moment around it was exciting.
My delight in it became hard to evade
but the light from my home was beginning to fade.
I left for home for that is my place.
Having difficulty ignoring those feelings, I pace.
The fog rolled back hiding the isle
Knowing it was there made my mind go wild.
Thoughts that, maybe I could journey without my light
Knowing the trip was very treacherous and not right
For days I pondered it. Deciding to wait out the fog instead
Realizing that I was out of my head
For on my shore I have everything I adore
Stability and sanctuary surround my lighthouse and shores
Family and friends within safe distance
Loss of all this if I were to crash in an instant
That is why I have stopped trying to find
the isle of desire that consumed my mind.
Someday if the fog lifts and the lighthouse shines
I’d make the trip and enjoy the time.
The isle of desire that once consumed my mind.
Now is a place that if I happen to find
Will be fun and exciting as I venture its shores
But only when allowed by the lighthouse I adore.

An hour before time, they put her through the motions.
Shoving and pulling her strings adding oil and suntan lotion.
Hot and humid still shining in candid spirit she professes
in music, a monotone but in finesse, a tune nonetheless.
Of her welcome song intrinsic in me but to her handlers, in blase
only the mere task of steering and roping in tense power play.
Embarking though marred by obvious signs of abuse and neglect.
Her rolling in elation disguised the slippery entrance and my regret.
Drivers accommodating cramped spaces as directed, gently to fill.
Opting to maitain serenity as they in vain, placate her iron will.
Do I hear her rising blood pulses or lack of joy in welcome thereof?
No, just the sound of tumultuous creaks and human smell
of perfume, tainted sweat and punjent oil leaks let off.
Disgruntled impatience of mere sailors but of her, not a peep.
Standing tall, holding firm a class of her own as she let sweep.
Riding the waves in style directing me to the destiny I must keep.
On and on she rides tantalising the waves as they foam at the peaks.
Such insight when she lapses into a lullaby putting me to sleep.
I return to a friend who knows well to serve, to ferry me ashore.
Another blissful time with her as the sea beckons for us to explore.
She is faithful, a useful companion with its own metallic commodore.
Sailing majestically forever a classy lady, our very own Lady Samoa.
(N.B Lady Samoa is our Inter-Island Ferry)

Such explosions of love ecstatic
from fumbling youths and naive romantics.
In wedded bliss when passions flowed
two people alone in honeymoon glow
Flammable pleasure, ignitable moments to treasure,
we did love, we did fight, You and I.
Like awaited episodes of a reality show,
responsibilities began to gnaw as they grow.
The candle of love flickered with breath abated
claiming its due from fires deflated.
Though loving was tender still quick to temper
we did love, we did fight, You and I.
The children gone and the house deserted
alone again with our quality time protected.
A simple touch, a gentle nudge then smiling,
at such an age one mistake saw patience flying.
Eyes bleary, hard or hearing but recalling clearly,
we did love, we did fight, You and I.
The rocking chair now sways to silent music
only in the eyes can one realise, such beauty.
Smoldering fires of love and reined in emotions,
memorising every tryst with pledges of devotions.
Blessed with so much given and oceans of raw passion
in abundance we lived as God promised, His love unrationed.
still we hated, we had to fight, but we did love You and I.

Enter a storybook tale
Where I can be
The heroine you hail
Lucid dreams of soft reflection
A touch heated with lust and desired protection
A breathe a gasp as we succeed
Join the fairytale with me
Valiant night within dark eyes
the right movement and I make them shine
like moonlight on the steamy hot spring
care to follow for a little dip with me
Trailing like the water at my fingertips
Grasp me around my hips
As close as the breeze on my skin
Whisper lies as I let you in
Lips mumbling up my thighs
bare heart exposed to the sky
fire burning in my veins
Am I a mistress of this lust or simply a slave
Trembling with desire
Take me till we've lost count of the hours
enter this storybook tale
Where I can be the heroine you hail

Thoust message rings,
But it is a wretched beauty.
Sew up thine tongue;
It forks in many directions,
Ensnaring, passing through the centers,
Weaving a thread gleaming, deceivingly white,
Yet drenched in the black goo,
The sticky gobs of our source, our blood.
Cast aside thine needle,
Let time make it blunt.
Wallow in thine sorrow,
But only for a moment.
Up, up with you!
The sticky gobs cannot protect thee.
See me, Hear me.
For I see thee...
Thou hast split thine tongue
To hide, to forget.
Thine forked words, black to all, clear to me.
Go on, go ahead,
Walk through its enveloping black.
And when you cannot run,
Crawl.
And when you can’t do that anymore,
Find someone to carry you.
Thou art strong!
Let thine center give you new feet!
Yet,
If even thine center falls weary,
I shalt be thine legs.
I shalt carry you, my friend.

So you want to know my secret?
You stole my soul from deep inside me
An utter struggle to survive
Can you keep a secret?
You became an everyday problem
You made me want to die.
With my lips sealed, a smug smile became plastered upon my face
No one knew how I felt.
I was so hurt, so scared, and oh so lonely.
Heartbreak, the lies you would make.
This was my struggle
In order to survive
All I had to do was strive.
Panting and drowning in your abyss of lies.
My friends had not the slightest clue
I would smile on the outside
But deep inside, the true feelings would hide.
I became hypnotized
I became mute
You drove me crazy
Can you keep a secret?
At night, my eyes failed to become lazy
My mind became hazy.
Eventually, I started to lose the fight
Death, she had snuck up on me
Just like a shadow in the night.
Far worse than the monsters that would crawl underneath my bed
More evil than all the words you had said.
Can you keep a secret?
I found the light at the end of the tunnel
The light glistened in my face, all the darkness was erased.
Can you keep a secret?
This light is my symbol of Hope
As I absorb this new found feeling
My heart is healing.
All the darkness vanished in thin air
As if the burden of you, was never even there.
I am a brave warrior now
I am a survivor of yesterday
I am a fighter for tomorrow
I am, I am, I am…
Yes, in life I may be put down
But I will still prevail.
Even if I fail, I will try at it again and again
I have a newfound bravery
Dwelling deep inside of me
Everyone knows it
So you want to know my secret?
If only mere words could compose it

In the past I remember how things were so simple
When I was little my cheeks had such cute dimples
Looking back I remember how sweet I was as a child
When I think again my heart told me I was so wild
Yet, in time my simple choices was revealed as true as anyone
The reason I was the way I am today, I did things, to get done
Finishing lots of my undone ideas was so incredibly hard
So I figure my heart and choices should never hold in no bard
I never thought I would learn heart aches and pain
With such under statement I did things for no gain
I was a child who held true to what he has learned
But as we got older those kinda perspective would get me burned
When I made up my mind that people was not kind
I led myself in a confusion that I was blind
In the past I do recall that seeing is believing
So I was the one who stood their with friends leaving
Alone, I felt I did not belong, I cherish each person who knew me
I got older too see how the world works it stung me like a bee
The feeling of tingling ran through my vain
My view of the world and people who knew me was stained
Now I know they are out for their selves with no kind feelings
Life I know is just a joke because of who I hung out with seeing
Today as I look at the world it is in such shambles and astray
And rather fallow everyone I just walk away

This poem I wrote. I call it " Let Him Go "
Sweetheart don't cry
Don't let him make you feel like your nothing
You do have family even though we are not close by
I know your heart is crushing
Don't harp on the past
Don't let him play with your head
You need to get over him fast
His feelings for you are dead
Over 2 years and you still don't have a ring
Your not the one he calls his wifey to be no more
Take a seat and listen up girl here is the thing
He's playing with your feelings and using you like a two dollar whore
I know you were smart once and can be again
He has you so brain washed it's not funny
I know hearing all this is a strain
Think of the example your setting for you little ones honey
Hold your head high and walk away from that loser mama's boy
Show him that your the one that is too good for his sorry ass
Hell he's such a mama's boy you can find better pleasure in a toy
Your related to me so come on show your sass
Let go of the past and look to a new future
Let go of the pain and the control freak
Say bye bye Looser
It will get easier one step at a time week by week......

Call me the dreamer of dreams.
I am the one that reaches for the highest of heights.
I use the clouds as a helpful step to rest my feet as I reach.
Stretching my arms up high, trying to grasp a hold of the stars.
Call me the dreamer of dreams.
I am the one that struggles through the thistles and thorns.
Reaching forward, eyes tearing up as I bleed for the light that will soon be mine.
I use the light's rays as motivational beams, urging me forward.
Call me the dreamer of dreams.
I am the one who fights through the ridicule and puns.
I fly through the maze of the bombardment of insults and put downs, straight to my prize.
I use the tormenting words as encouragement to later prove them wrong.
Call me the dreamer of dreams.
I am the one that searches for truth.
I wander through a world of lies and tricksters as they try to make me lose focus.
Discovering traps and evading paths of lies by evaluating them with logic and reason.
With every lie evaded, I inch closer to the truth.
Call me the dreamer of dreams.
I am that one, the one who dreams.
For without dreams I am nothing, but a human with no purpose.
And when my dreams are reached, the scars I will wear proudly.
For the struggles I had faced will stand as validation to how much my dreams are worth.

My crazy Cousin.
My cousin calls me crazy poet
Cause I don’t think like others
I’ve not seen her since she was three
A Flower girl to us lovers
When we got wed in sixty five
But now we write and all
Oh lord, we two are so alike
It’s just remarkable.
In eight weeks time, she’s coming here
To good old western Oz
I know we’re going to get on well
I do, and that’s because
That girl is crazy just like me
And she likes a good old laugh
She seems to be a grand old bird
I’ll say on her behalf.
She’ll bring her man, and son with her
They’re all creative folk
She can paint and write as well
And boy, it is no joke
The kind of talent that they have
It will be a joy to me
To meet up with forgotten kin
I can’t wait for this to be.
11 August 2013 @ 1813hrs.

Regret
Regrets I have so many
But one that drags me down
Every time I think about it
My face takes on a frown.
It was the day I left my wife
Though why I do not know
All I know with certainty
Is that I hurt that lady so
I never will forgive myself
The remorse is hard to bear
And everywhere I try to go
The furies, they are there.
I know until my dying day
I never will forget
The day I left my wife behind
It fills me with regret.
8 August 2013 @ 1720hrs.

im sorry ive caused you pain.
i thank you for sticking by me through everything.
and not giving up on me. i dnt no what
i would do if you had given up on me.
Im sorry ive lied to your face and you knew it,
but you still loved me the same as before.
so i thank you.
i dont know if i would be here with you if you had given up on me.
im sorry ive broken your trust over and over,
and you still wanna trust me.
i thank you again.
i dont know wat i would have done if you didnt trust me.
im sorry ive done things behind your back,
even though i promised you i would never do them.
im sure you knw but you never said anything.
i wish you would have. it would have saved us all alot of pain
i thank you for never giving up on me.
i dont no how to tell you how much i love you.
mom i love you sooooooo much you wont ever no how much i love u and thank you for everything

Sense of humour, elevating our spirits
Musing over the simple things in life, rejoicing at what we find
Imagination stimulated, childlike, seeing the wonders in life
Light heartedness, laughing at one’s self!
Everything as it is meant to be, smiling, enjoying, the gift of life

A new path is what we seek.
The surroundings are taking a peek,
Going through, very meek,
Seeing no bleaks,
Getting piqued,
While hearing creaks,
In the new paths that we seek...
The new path is what is found,
Going through forests bound,
Going through the path inbound,
With soothing and raging water sounds.
Walking confound,
Silence profounded,
Sight astounded,
Passed through burial grounds...
Seeking for another way around,
Noises resound,
Spirits surround,
The paths newfounded,
Our instincts compounded,
Followed by the hounds,
Echoes in ultrasounds,
Passed through mysterious breeding grounds...
Going to stamping grounds,
Trying to get off this ground,
With those burial mounds,
Death moving the wheels around,
Silhouettes running aground,
Trying to leave safe and sound,
Passing through some hunting grounds...
Seeking for common grounds,
The mistaken path redounded,
Regretful screams abound.
Plans propounded,
Though some are fouled,
Throughout the paths that were found...
However, most are lost and wounded,
Most tended to walk out,
Some minds and hearts full of doubts.
Hearing salvation shouts,
From all these new paths walked and found...

Dreams Of Reality
By Nate Spears
Published 2013 in “Death OF A Rose” By Nate Spears
A difference of a world a way
A distance of a different kind
Love is blind and divine
Hold my hand
Let us touch the sunshine
On this hill of heaven we stand
I pray
From one another
Life and the world will never take us
Unless it’s together
Then we will become forever
Never leaving each others presence
Our bond becomes stronger in living
With every day
I stare into your glare
Wishing we live on; and long
Strong and healthy
We will grow old
In a happy union together
Looking beside me
Coming to a reality
You’re not there
My dreams are not reality
My love has perished.

A puzzle piece you are to me
Like a vine without any leaves.
Your heart is pure your soul is
Gold, the sweetest thing I'll
ever hold! A miracle in my eyes
it seemed, knowing they said
no babies for me! Always a
surprise you seem to be just
like a puzzle piece! At 9 months
you walked but not until 4 did
you first talk! Always a terror
making a beautiful mess always
a surprise that has yet to be
met! The twists and turns I
know we will see will seem
somewhat like a roller coaster
to me! The milestones and
special gifts you bring will make
my life seem Like a dream, my
special boy I have always said
How special I knew not till
Aspergers they said! The
journey will be trying the
journey will seem long! But
with our family together we will
chug along! My special boy I
love you so and cannot wait to
see you mature and grow! Now
we have a goal we have our
dream you see to make you the
perfect fitting puzzle piece!!
Written by: Christina Kirks
McCullouch 04/05/2012 For
Jonathan S McCullouch Jr
Mommy loves you to eternity
and beyond! Forever and
always!

Fifty years, boy and man, I’ve been a Sooners fan;
And watched thousands of recruits try to make my Sooners Team.
Often, I’ve enviously wondered what it must be like
To be a touted Sooners recruit, living out his dream.
He’d had a great career through high school;
Made good grades, was a football star, played baseball too.
Coach said college recruiters were watching closely;
So, he tried his very best to make his dream come true.
You see, he’d played on the L’il Sooners as a kid;
Started getting serious about the game when he was only eight
Played with older, bigger boys and practiced hard;
Always told his friends, “To be a Sooner, ya gotta play great”.
Oh yes, his parents raised a football player;
And, even more important, a Sooners fan;
But he wanted more, to be a Sooner,
To feel the glory raining down from the stands.
Now, the Sooners’ Head Coach is in his living room.
“Son, you’ve got talent. We think you fit our scheme.
We’re offering you a scholarship, an opportunity
To be an important member of our great Sooners Team”.
His mother smiles her biggest smile.
His father nods proudly and pats him on the knee.
“Lord knows, son, it’s a dream come true.
Go be the very best Sooner you can be”.
He walks into the locker room,
Not quite sure what to expect;
But sure that to play for the Sooners
He will first have to earn respect.
He looks each man straight in the eye -
Other recruits, trainers, assistants, and every coach.
“Be proud, but respectful”, his mother had said;
Your character, more than your performance, must be above reproach”.
His handshake is firm and he smiles.
“Only one chance for a first impression”, his father had said;
"Always put yourself in positive light, on and off the field.
That’s what it will take to play for the mighty Big Red”.
He meets so many other recruits, each one a high school star.
He’s played against a few and knows they share his dream.
And, to a man, each knows before any chance for Glory,
He first must prove worthy to play for this Sooners Team.
He knows a few will fail to meet the coaches’ expectations.
For some, the scout team will be their fate.
Many will suit up, but rarely play.
Only the very best will ever dare to be great.
Coach says, “If every man learns and executes when called on,
Then this team, we Sooners, will win a lot of games;
But, win or lose, if you play hard and give your very best,
You’ll never have to hang your heads in shame”.
“But gentlemen, with or without you, this team will win.
Every season, the Sooners strive to win it All.
So, listen, work hard, and prepare yourselves. Each game is war...
And you must be ready when Victory calls”.
Through grueling practices, he finds himself.
As he walks to class, his closest friends are aches and pains;
But, just the other day, Coach helped him up, smiled, and patted his helmet.
“You’re doin’ fine, son. Keep pushin’. Remember, no pain, no gain”.
He sees his name on the "open scrimmage" roster for the very first time.
It’s a moment he’ll never forget, another milestone in his dream.
He calls his Mom and Dad, knowing they’ll tell his family and his friends.
He hopes they’ll actually see him play, proof he’s made the Team.
As he suits up for the last pre-season open scrimmage,
He wonders if the coaches would really let a freshman play at all;
But Coach puts him in for eight plays against the first team;
He makes two great open-field tackles and intercepts the ball.
He barely hears the roar of the crowd, as the whole defense “gives him five”.
He’s so excited, he forgets to ask if he can keep that ball.
Fans are buzzing, “Did you see that hit”!? “Who is that kid”!?
“Will he red shirt or will Coach let him play this fall”?
He sees his name in the Sunday paper, hears it on local sports.
He’s happy, but he doesn’t let it go to his head.
He keeps his focus and uses it as motivation.
After all, he wants to start one day for the mighty Big Red.
Yes, we’ll hear more of this young recruit.
Perhaps, one day he’ll be the hero of the game.
A seasoned veteran, maybe All Conference or even All American,
Who’s tasted Victory many times and helped glorify the Sooners’ name.
Oh yes, there have been so many who’ve aspired;
But many fewer who’ve actually made our Sooners Team.
They are our heroes, each and every one;
For it’s through their accomplishments, we fans can live the dream.
Billy Vessels, Steve Owens, Billy Sims, and Jason White,
The Selmons, Little Joe, the Boz, Josh Heupel, and “Q”
They, and so many others, were once touted Sooners recruits;
Who set a higher mark and built the Tradition that is OU.
So, c’mon! c’mon! all you great young football players!
Dedicate your talents to OU’s Team and OU’s Fans.
Make Oklahoma’s Owen Field your Field of Dreams,
And feel the Glory raining down from the stands.

written 10th Aug 2013
I am God's child, first and forever
I am known by many different titles, a daughter
I am a wife
I am a mother
I am a grandmother
I am a poet
I am by several ways, known as a sister
I am an acquaintance
I am a loyal friend
I am a stranger
I am a cousin
I am an Auntie
I am a niece
But who is this person, they all call "Denise?"
She is a child to God
She is a niece
She is a cousin
She is a stranger
She is a loyal friend
She is an acquaintance
She is known to many, a sister
She is a poet
She is a grandmother
She is a mother
She is a wife
She is known as a daughter to many
She is everything, she'd ever dreamed her life to be....
She is happier than she ever imagined possible
SHE IS "DENISE"

h when i was truth i fell
drew boy i grew up
still def still be a cre4ators tool
wipers for the pain tears drop
fear not, fret no baby worrys from the devil. whispers on my ear xrtays , be very afraid, cantrall camaflauge like a sand dollar, honor boy we descretion , a virtue is all im left now, we the still launching balls in the park, remarks, its remarkableaint it?deep all dark as the cell lights from weldsgenuine from the top to the bottom, weathered by the struggle tried and true i confess tyhe devil still got a bounty on my head here, Weapons come bring all even that
determination reaffirmed confirmation
dragged across the face of
the devil, and i will face him,
killer on a cutthroat, lost my chrome and prorellis,
tomahawk mechetes,common cause i blare on, bread and butter, married to love of, giving mary credit, everytime i ever said it, deeper than the message, freedom never said more, boy act like he badder, go for me now im bipolar facing all weapons like its the deepest ****ing episode, connection in the west, no nothing coming easy, friends spell finders,wilder than saying it aint over, i aint acting like im clean, babys body beating on my head whelps and melodies, def to a felony, boy consider carefully im more than just distant memories, more than u still feell, the crown on your head of a king i slam down, been down in this sound like seashells has been around, like it hurts well pain is my profession, still trying trying to perfect it, pros dont know whats pros and cons know, among those pics as fast a lens close, so i been known tell u motha****as i been known, still feeling likke i got a price on me, yea devils got a bounty on my head, ask my nephew, ask me and stars shine like scars be me traveling far to minds, reaching for more life treating this like im beast tearing out this town by its eyeballs, white squalls black powder , blast that ass like Im massive passions in acid baths,listen strictly speaking to the Masters, G-force and white noise creator of the devil salngs pain choice words Streets still speak ina deep voice, do u feel remorse, hear the men i lead hear me boy slient in a count down anticipation anger too got u making mistakes now, now now no i aint even dressed in your wardrobe, take the tie off, nical all nighters, alcohol graig them twist their ****ing minds up, listen if u got better hand, well stealth meet finesse's nails, i said i will, sett a trap and the net never catches me it never will, dealing with a hardhead, as i rain hell down soft my middle finger the taste of victory , that u still long for, flash that mercy and emergencys well dont freak out, i speak out
and put a X on a narc's head, boy im part metal, its what i teethed on, Like Im thuggish for accidents that the dicate the laws broken by a skunk, feel my blanco vendetta,as it shrinks your stature, just suppose I stole your power, well ***** u can have it back,

ERADICATING POVERTY, LLC
Verlena’s destiny calls for a perfected cause.
In aura of amazing grace via a walk of faith, is her voice.
At the Tombs of Saints, she proclaims her life and choice.
She will not be suppress.
She will uplift her existence to what is best, that which is rightful.
During colonial time, the thinking of man, in this part of the world, was based on intelligence.
He defined the structure for equality yet, enslavement.
He emancipated yet, civil entrapment.
He became mobile, nevertheless, systematic discrimination formed.
And, as all of this was taking place, founding fathers were manifesting destiny.
The lens of the future is today.
Hasten through transgression Verlena is anointed to be wise.
The knowledge endowed has awarded her insight to the Social Sciences.
She is the founder of a New School of Thought – The School of Social Theology.
Therefore, I am Social Theorem of today.
A Social Scientist generalization, which evolved from the acumen of history titivated.
Insofar, Verlena S. Walker will henceforward to remove the troubles of the world.
Therein, a socio-political socio-religious structure has formed.
|_________________________________________________________________|
Penned on November 4, 2014!

My love I can not find you anywhere,
I feel like I lost my soul somewhere,
because you are my soulmate,
and us being apart can not be fate.
You did not leave because you wanted to,
It just was just something you had to do.
I was not right, All I wanted to do was fight,
and knowing you was the love of my life,
yet I would not make you my wife.
I know that's what you really wanted
and now I am feeling haunted,
by the things I should have done,
and you being the only one
I ever loved and will love forever, if it was'nt for me we will still be together.
But you are gone
and I can not go on,
so I must say good-bye, I'm leaving myself to die.

I'm 51 today.
51 tomorrow, yay
Was 51 yesterday.
52 is months away,
And yes I'm thankful.
Although it's not my real birthday,
It kinda is in a certain way.
I'm still alive another day.
I had the notion to celebrate.
And be thankful.
Though it's not a holiday.
Thanksgiving has come and gone away,
I'm just alive today.
For that I'm thankful.
Honestly, I am not just trying to make these lines rhyme,
Or reflect upon the deep sublime.
I'm just grateful today to be alive.
I mean really thankful.
I'm not trying to wow you with philosophy,
Or impress you with theology.
It matters not at all to me.
I just feel thankful.
So tonight I take a walk outside,
I look up into the endless sky and then I breathe.
I breathe in deep,
And I say thank you.
And maybe not just to Who you think,
Man let's throw in the kitchen sink,
And include all who've touched my life, to whom I'm thankful.
Some of you I'm glad you're gone,
Frankly you stayed a bit too long
And some you the grave stole far too soon,
And yet I'm still thankful.
Today the living and the dead
You've both been right up inside my head,
And synergized this verbal thread.
For that I'm thankful.
I close my eyes and think of Tim, named David right there toward the end.
I always smile when I think of him,
And now I listen
I heard a siren going by,
I wonder who and wonder why,
Was it a wreck, did someone die?
Yet still I listen.
Neighbors dogs are going wild.
Was that the laughter of a child.
Seems like I can hear for miles.
Still I listen.
I hear the hi-way roar of cars.
Tho I have never heard the stars
Is there really life on Mars?
Shhh brain please shut up and listen!
The soft night whispers in my ears.
Pressing through my random fears,
I stand amazed at what I hear.
And now I wonder.
I open up my eyes and see as I feel this winter breeze
The silhouette of leafless trees.
I stand in wonder
Then I wonder about the first man to ever be,
Or the first time he looked up to see
The Milky Way the galaxies.
Did he wonder?
I wonder what he did
How he loved how he lived.
If he ever lost a friend?
Man oh man I wonder.
Was he the first to dig a grave?
How it sounded if he prayed?
How he fought?
How he played?
If that man could see us all today,
What would he say I wonder?
In ways was he a lot like me?
Did he sometimes fear what he could not see?
Did he create unseen walls
Of unbelief?
I stand and wonder.
Did he ever hurt the ones he loved?
Did life convince him not to trust?
I wonder.
My great grandfather lived
My DNA is shared with him.
I wonder how we are the same,
And I don't even know his name.
Still I wonder.
Will my great grand kids know my name?
Will it even matter who's to say?
Will they look up in wonder?
Will they listen?
Will they be thankful?
Not much I can leave to them
That would matter too much in the end.
I suppose the primal hope in man
Is the hope I hope lives on in them
I hope they wonder. About the universe.
I hope they listen. To life's unspoken verse.
I hope they're thankful. Even in midst of deepest hurts.
I hope they're thankful.
I hope they listen.
I hope they wonder.
And no matter what life hands them,
I hope they hope.

An old man looking out his door,
gaze fixed on a distant shore,
reminiscing to a time, not of happiness,
or, the prospect of a bright future,
to when he was sick to his very core,
to when as a youth, he went to war
A time before infallibility had meaning,
patriotism and bravado the craze,
the future was still unknown,
vigor for life at its all time high,
a time for romance, partying, buying,
no thought of pain, deformity, dying
Too young to understand or question,
ship to foreign shore, medals abound,
will impress the girls next time in town,
sacrifice not temporary,
forever more,
a legacy etched into a wall, few will remember,
flesh shredded, burned, torn,
families mourn
A time, when he willingly went to war,
will happen no more,
all lost in youth, now unrelenting,
no blind obedience,
minimal risk,
long life, his number one ambition
As he turns back from the door,
he thinks of the youth,
here now, soon no more,
lessons never learned,
the call to war,
to common the roar,
complacency the mood,
another generation removed
The old man agonizes
over what was originally not known,
war is preventable,
life too precious to waste,
the solution simple,
his vision, maybe too late
Send old men to the front to fight,
arthritis, heart disease, poor eyesight,
let the youth enjoy their life,
his near over, its only right
Send old men, to the front, to fight
ask them to give up their life,
patriotism and bravado, still alive,
will and desire would not last the night,
old men do not rush to death in their twilight,
failure inevitable, the old man smiles,
knows he's right
Wars not possible,
if old men, are sent to fight

You’ve maddened me to the core
You singed me with your ferocious fire
We’re opposites… we’ll never integrate
We can’t blend with each other…
Your love and I’m hate
We’re contrary to each other…
So don’t even think about
Getting us back together
Because without a doubt,
We don’t click with each other…
So let us go our own way…
Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be deleted from my mind…
I’m not the one that should pay the price
You act as if you’re an angel from heaven
But, you’re a fiend…a devil from hell...who needs your advice?
Could someone unchain me from this prison?
So let us prepare for that day…
Fear and bewilderment build inside of our minds
Taking over us…we’re wasting valuable time
Terror and wrath injects into our veins…time starts to unwind
I’m regaining my glory…this moment feels so sublime
You think you’re innocent?
I can sense your guilt…bleeding through you
Do you live to feed me anguish?
Don’t deny it…you crafty demon…no wonder I feel blue
Let’s get ready for battle…
I’ll watch you decay…
IT’S PAY BACK TIME . . .
Taste my fury and my agony
Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be defeated…
I scream before nightfall
I close my eyes to kiss my demise
I want to disappear
Scratch away my desolation
Wipe away my tears…
Spewing out of my eyes…like a waterfall
Tonight, there will be dismay
There will be suffering
After sundown…
Failure and glory will expose like stars in the midnight sky
Who will earn the crown?
No one knows in silent wars – who can reveal the light in goodbye
Why are we black and white?
Are you too afraid to know the reason why?
Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to suffer alone…

When I met her , a very old lady she was , yet inside lay a frightened child .
I felt my heart cry , I felt as if I was touching history itself , as I made this older lady, child, chai .
I remember the day , and so many tears I have cried
I have cried before she and I met
As a child , so many tears, left confused inside .
Not understanding Why , and how could we stand by and live our lives as if this never happened ?
It happened , we are left in dismay of the movies seen the accounts taken of History
My self ..I have caught stereotyping the very people whom did this to she , the rest of her Family erased .
The white candles we light , we try and forgive , or just simply block this pain out completely.
It occurs , over and over , as it has been said History will repeat .
When thinking of my children , when I think of that little girl losing , cold and scarred , feeling only defeat .
There is a lesson here and I pray , that all whom have been taken from life , have no pain and are gifted spirits throughout eternity . May they be warmed with love, and reunited with the ones they lost .
The first time I met her , her old hand I took and warmed it with mine , I held it for a long time .
You could not, but notice ..the Evil imprinted on skin , the Evil only to remind.
This very old Soul , in her eyes you could see .
The child that once lived , so innocently free, not aware yet, of the Hostility .
I speak of a Little girl, I speak of a old woman , I speak of a Jewish, chosen Religion.
There as I held her frail , old hand , a brand , a number stamped in Evil a long time ago . In 1945 , once in our distant, yet Frightening past .
We should never forget , never forget it happened , never forget all the names .
If we do , we have learned nothing , A World living in Shame .
" Etta Babooshka Kofman "

It's not a lesson to be taught
Or a skill to be acquired
It's the nudge to move forward
Open when the time is right
It's the spirit inside
God leading on the way
On the journey to discover
He is all you need
It's the courage to let go
Say yes instead of no
Reveal what you've been holding back
As Jesus takes the wheel
It's the realization that it doesn't matter
What others think of you
God leads you where you're meant to be
Just allow you to be you
It's the standing up to fear
Proclaiming "fear's not gonna win!"
The battle has been fought too long
Time to let the stalemate end
It's the inspiration you've been holding
For others and for yourself
The light we've been dimming
Rather than shining on His behalf
It's the spontaneity in the decision
To follow His call all the way
Discovering peace in being you
Wide open as the perfect creation you are
The world out there is brutal
But there's a Holy Man holding out His Hand
His bravery now is all we have
But His bravery of love is all we need
May God bless you!

God Bless The Child
By Nate Spears
Published 2013 in “Death OF A Rose” By Nate Spears
God bless the child that see’s no evil
The child that digs within his soul
To survive unpleasing
With pain never easing; just teasing
God bless the child that clashes with the Titans
The child fighting for existence
Steady fighting relentless
Relentlessly,
Fighting the struggle
For what he believe is nothing
But he’s a child of god
So he’s blessed to be a front man
God bless the child that know not nothing
The child that comes to realize
That help’s not coming
Wondering the streets without a clue
Of what to do
Ignorance is all surrounding
Grief is all around them
Without any signs of peace
God bless the child that you conceive
Give them life
Give the strength
Let them find happiness in a world
Running thin on peace
May God bless
All his wonderful children.

Look at you, you have found my heart
With love I stare into your eyes
With passion I devise
I can not part with you or can not stop the things I have started
So I raise my hands to embrace you and you alone
Look I walk by your side and I found my self crying
With your hands so soft with gentleness
With your smile so beautiful with carefulness
I do notice life with you without sighing
So I raise my hands to embrace you and you alone
Without a fear of losing you, you are in my visions
With beautiful roses by your side
I love you more than twelve times
Without doubt I do love you, I care for you and you alone
So do not walk away
Please lets talk about things anyway
With feelings of letting you go is make me ache in the heart
Do not stop believing my passion has fallen apart
So I raise my hands to embrace you and you alone
Look I want us to grow old with each other through years of journeys
With hope of sharing life of fulfillment that gives us memories
With this I hope to give all of my faith and I hope it is not to late
I Look into your eyes with such full life because you have been my life date
So I raise my hands to embrace you and you alone
And you alone
So I raise my hands to embrace you
you alone

And the storm calls to me in ways you'll never understand
A gentle call that urges my soul forth
The lighting guiding a path for my feet to walk
Between the stones and ash of all that once was
I stand in the echoing silence of the rain
It drops down upon my skin like the blessing waters of heaven
Soothing me, lifting the weight from my body
I feel at once as if I am home
Standing amid two dimensions
Caught between two skies - here and there
The night wraping around me in warmth
The gentle wind lifting me off my feet
Drops from the clouded moon washing away my body
and I am left just a soul, an essence
The storm calls me forth from beneath my roof
Beckoning me into its depth
I stand among the reeds in the basin
They dance and sway as if welcoming me
And I sway with them back
Caught up in the power that charges the air
That threatens to sweep me away
If the ground will just loosen its hold
The thunder rumbles a low welcoming growl
And I get pleasently lost within it
I am so small compared to its vastness
I close my eyes and succumb to the skies wishes
Rising higher until my feet no longer touch the ground
My fingertips touch the liquid color of the stars
A sigh drifts from my lips
There is no need of thought to stay afloat
There is no demand to breathe in air
No crushing weight upon my chest
As my lungs struggle to survive
There are no struggles here
I make my bed on blackened clouds
And give in to the call
The storm has claimed me as its own
It was such a struggle to stay upon the ground
When the storm would call me home

It's been a good run
To the back side of sixty,
The short side of time.
First Hollywood kiss
Behind a pink crepe myrtle.
Thanks, Patsy Werner.
High school was okay.
Didn't help me to focus;
So, my mind wandered.
Surfed Bonzai Pipeline,
Big waves break into lava.
What made me do it?
Vietnam jungles.
I wondered why I was there.
America lost.
Smoking pot. Stereo.
Good fun in the seventies.
Psychedelics too.
And three wives later,
I finally found true love.
We're still together.
My destitute heart,
Saved by the sweetest angel.
I love you, Sandy.
Sooners are my team.
Most winning football program
In the Modern Era.
I am retired now.
But I have plenty to do.
Golf, primarily.
I've been writing more.
Perhaps I will write a book.
I have many tales.
I'd chase young girls; but,
Girls with a "grampa" fetish
Are so hard to find.
If I am lucky,
I will just drop dead one day.
With my peace of mind.
Yes, made a good run
To the back side of sixty,
The short side of time.

Love in Marriage
For this reason, love precious joy
is shared, expressed;
that within the confine of marriage
its significance, are memories
though sometime small
hold the most potent experience.
Marrraige is a give and take
love is a give all you can take
marriage is equal estate,
love gift offering keeps you
fill while never sate.
For satisfaction, love though
is not lacking in conviction,
marriage on the other hand
is truly the best one,
offering completion one to
another to safe guard our
institutions.
From seeing its growth,
feeling its unadulterated dose,
love in marriage truly make for
the best strokes.
of importance, not to be side tracked
are the loveliness of our children
when mom and dad tie the knot.
A bond of inclusiveness
A bond resolved on two people
promise to share in matrimony
love for all eternity.

The New Tomorrow
Shopping street posh boutiques, perfumeries and cafes plenteous
something for all to eat and drink. My wife has gone to buy a dress
and I wait with a glass of red wine, as usual, when we are out and
about in town. There are no cars in this street and children are free
to fool around, I look at them and wonder what the future holds
for them now that the world is about implode. When they are only
allowed to express an opinion that is the norm. Should they fall foul
of this edict and, the powerful listens to their thoughts, they will be
pushed out as the spoilers and have only themselves to blame, for
not being submissive. And the new adults will be conditioned to
have no mercy for losers of this sacred joke of an evil democracy.
But the edifice of human greed will fold one day, nature will see to
that, reek destruction that few humans will survive. So play now
little ones tomorrow has nothing to offer but the suffering caused
by your antecessors who willfully took his pleasure and left you to
suffer the consequences.

Everyday as i pass the old tree
i compare myself to the limbs
branches hanging lower now
leaves dropping and bark scarred
the deep roots un-earthed
tree house fallen
glory days
lost in
time...
Contest: The Old Age
Form: Nonet
Sponsored by: Dr. Ram Mehta
Poems by Shar

I have lived,
And felt the cost,
Paid my dues,
But I have lost_ You.
Still I pray,
As chaos looms,
And as my blue turns into grey,
I hear__
The angels sing- In tune.
Don't be giving in,
Don't give up my son,
Or fade away,
Lift your chin with the sun__ And rise,
With this new day!.
I have lived,
And felt the cost of all my wonderin ways,
I've paid my dues,
I - Have lost you.
I can hear the angels sing,
Your in a mistaken land__ Lessons learned in truth,
As the grey seeks out the blue,
She will__ Your daughter my son---
She will return--- To You.
For I have lived,
Felt the cost of all my walkin days,
I've paid my dues,
I- Lost you....
I wont be giving in,
Won't give up my girl,
Or fade away,
I'll lift my chin with the sun---
And RISE--
With this new day...

I'm not the greatest of all-times, but when I'm done,
I'll be an all time great in this lifetime of mine
Like the late great who came before my time
I will breed a new lifeline, that will breathe life like march of dimes
My story lines, will bring truth life; like troops who fight
Overseas, for rights of those who believe that death is life
Now that ain't right!
As the rich is getting richer, eating fillet me-non, while we barely feeding our appetite
Night after night
Survival has waged a war that gave us no choice but to battle and fight
Although, we'll be all right
They say we a dying breed, but that ain't right
Instead we're the light to a lying greed
That will enlighten life to a brand new seed
A man of God indeed
Freed from the Son that bleeds
Like the summer breeze
He's the sum that equals the amount of air I breathe
The air that please
A satisfaction like the birds and the bees
My word's words are the keys
That will fornicate with the mind and give birth to a seed
A seed of social change, that'll change our social economy
So shall our comradery
That will bring comfort to a struggling society
A synonym...similar to a civilization seeking for unity
Unifying the physics of theory
That seeks to explain the synopsis of a dying philosophy
Similar to the Cosby
X-cept my scrip-tic will speak more about our reality
Like life's calamity
And everything else in life that's destroying us systematically
However, I've discovered a system
That can mathematically destroy ignorancy
And turn our state of mind intellectually
I elect that He (God) selects me to be
And be that man who may lead this community
So that they (My Peoples) may commute with me
En-route to a destination, destine towards our destiny
Like we were destine to be
We were meant to be "Great" like the late great that came before we.
Because we are...
The reflection where perfection gave birth to the definition of greatness
Where great means Competent, Skilled, Well Informed, and Tremendous
Our potentials are endless
And only we not even the enemy can put an end to this
So it's time we put a stop to this
The biggest enemy of self
And that's envy and jelousness
Cause after this is Heaven or Hell and that's all there is
A promised made sealed with a kiss
Knowing this
Is the next best thing since "In the beginning"
In the first chapter of the first verse in Genesis!

Leg over leg
I watch
Oh once great majestic man
Stuffed with life and vigor
Stood atop the world
Champion
Once conqueror of mountains
Now crushed by pleasure
Turned animal of desire
Now the running re-claimer
Of past honors
Leg over leg
I watch
One step at a time
His lungs smashing against his insides,
As they fight for air,
Against a nicotine choke hold
Leg over leg
I watch
His feet
They burn,
Sprinting through a Savannah of flames
The weight of his past gluttony slows him down
And chains of sweets
Bind him to a mountain of food;
An animal
Hungry for progress
Leg over leg
I watch
A hurricane of alcoholic despair swells above him
As a downpour of liquor whips his beast of a body
And all that he has drank
Tries to wash him away
Leg over leg
I watch
His vision blurs,
The distant mountains and clouds begin to swirl,
The road ahead bends and buckles,
His legs vanish beneath him
And he greets the floor with open arms
I watch
His heart rages
Trapped in a cage
The animal pushes and pulls aggressively
Painfully biting against his chest
Until it finally becomes quiet
Still
Strangled by the smoke, grease and alcohol
Silencing all who witnessed their reign of terror
His body unmoving
Just inches from the finish line
Still
I watch

Judas betrayed Jesus’s whereabouts
End, was near
Son of God, knew this
Universe of the Son of the Divine Father, restored
Sins of man forgiven, Prince of our Universal domain, alive in the hearts of his children

Walking threw the mist of the night,
on the path that lead deep into the forest, in absence of sound;
from one whom was bought, no body shell be found,
of those who might be lost, homeward bound,
as we raven through this hollow ground.
Cross sentences that are incomplete, fractions that make you weak,
threw words that you learned so well, life is a living hell,
don't front and pull back, end of line, number check,
in the story and on track, blank page,
ink intact.

Who am I?
Question indeed!
W-eaned from tender
age,in noble family of ten.
H-urt by the demise of
the tube that brought
me into this theater of
struggles and pains.
O-rdered about by the
whimps of this
world,facing the hurdles
of life daily from
cradle,never giving up
hope.
A-fine young man of 28
I am,who has the
experience and wisdom
of the aged.
M-astering the arts of
life-learning from lessons
of life's victims and
didactic poems 'cos man
of fame I intend to be for
I bear the name Bob.
I-lost my poetic gift at a
stage but recovered it in
poetrysoup for invisible
entities say a
lesser being I shall be,but
another encourages me
to move on,for great is
one who comes out of
the shackles of life
undeterred for this is who
I am.
Name: Ifeanyi Bob
Ekechukwu.
Date:24-10-2013.

The Women
(for the countless women, names unknown, who bore the brunt of Apartheid, and who fought the racist system at great cost to themselves and their families, and for my mother, Zubeida Moolla)
Pregnant, your husband on the run,
your daughter, a child, a few years old,
they hauled you in, these brutish men,
into the bowels of Apartheid's racist hell.
They wanted information, you gave them nothing,
these savage men, who skin happened to be lighter,
and white was right in South Africa back then,
but, you did not cower, you stood resolute,
you, my mother, faced them down, their power,
their 'racial superiority', their taunts, their threats.
You, my mother, would not, could not break,
You stood firm, you stood tall.
You, like the countless mothers did not break, did not fall.
You told me many things, of the pains, the struggles,
the scraping for scraps, the desolation of separation
from your beloved Tasneem and your beloved Azad,
my elder sister and brother, whom I could not grow
up with, your beloved children separated by time, by place,
by monstrous Apartheid, by brutish men,
whose skin just happened to be lighter.
You told me many things, as I grew older,
of the years in exile, of the winters that grew ever colder.
You were a fighter, for a just cause,
like countless other South African women,
you sacrificed much, you suffered the pangs,
of memories that cut into your bone, your marrow,
you resisted a system, an ideology, brutal and callous and narrow.
Yes, you lived to see freedom arrive, yet you suffered still,
a family torn apart, and struggling to rebuild a life,
all the while, nursing a void, that nothing could ever fill.
I salute you, mother, as I salute the nameless mothers,
the countless sisters, daughters, women of this land,
who fought, sacrificing it all for taking a moral stand.
I salute you, my mother, and though you have passed,
your body interred in your beloved South African soil,
you shall remain, within me, an ever-present reminder,
of the cost of freedom, the struggles, the hunger, the toil.
I salute you!
(for the brave women of South Africa, of all colours,
who fought against racial discrimination and Apartheid)

I once was like a catipiller young,naive,and new
Always living from my heart not knowing what
else to do.Easy to take advantage of, that is
just the case, people would walk over me
like I was their dirty used up suitcase.
Now I feel a newness coming, like a light
shining from the sky, colors fill my world
and I know I am blooming into a butterfly.
Purple,Pink, Blue and Green I can feel them
flowing through. Colors of the rainbow raising
me into full bloom. Wise and strong I am becoming
My faith leads me where I need to go giving me
insight and wiseness for only me to know.
I have not done this on my own you see
I have been guided by God and Angels
on this Earth. Wise words the wisdom at
it's best comes from a wise lady who
seems to know me best. Lucky, I am
to have her in my life, she always shoots
it straight and tells me like it is, knowing
her words touch my heart and gives me tons of faith..
I feel like flying through the sky or climbing
a tree way up high. I feel like observing the
world just like a brand new butterfly so as I
Bloom I become Anew something unlike the past
Smart and wise beautiful on the inside and outside
a touch of color here a touch of color there
makes me glow and become a beautiful blooming butterfly...
Written By: Christina A McCullouch
04/09/2013

Most people know not true struggle,
Most pass through some short lived fight.
Experiencing dire, maybe a few times only,
Could make one stronger…
Yet endless battle, does not ignite power
But shatters a creature
‘til true essence of core is recognized.

We will finish this task
Come what may
Wasting away the beauty of our day
A dark cloud of contempt
Winds of lies in air
Lightning beating our souls bare
Where is the sorrow
Is their any empathy at all
To author this storm
Is beyond comprehension
Yes.....Dust can only Fall

Michelle ~
my sister we have been through life suffered loss
you making conscience effort to make amends for past
Je Taime Cheri ~
Michelle~
my sister finding her own path without orders
never have I left your side knowing in time you will see
so proud to be called yours
Michelle ~my sister
Loving you always unconditionally
we all stubble and fall on this ridged road
Michelle I love you
not enough told ~

Smoke in the distance
I saw it in the distance
The air was filled with smoke
A bush fire, it was raging
Oh, lord this was no joke
For I was heading homeward
It was starting to look bad
For my house was up yonder
The fear it drove me mad.
I've seen so many fires
I know what they can do
I nearly lost my home before
It's bad, I'm telling you
The fear was getting stronger
My imaginations, wild
I felt my body trembling
As I panicked like a child.
The thick black smoke was rising
I drove the car like mad
My house might be on fire
Oh, it was looking bad.
As I reached my destination
My fears did melt to nil
I'll remember that grand feeling
I guess I always will
My house it was still standing
That fire had passed on through
Oh lord it felt so wonderful
I don't mind I'm telling you.
14 October 2013 @ 0755hrs.
Peter Duggan, for groove it contest in Country and Western mode
Sorry, the best I can do.

Our love grows stronger,
Even beyond the distance,
Even beyond the days.
I know you're with me always
And I'm always with you;
In God together we're together forever
And physically we'll be together forever soon.

Poorly heated coffee;
I can't seem to get it hot enough.
Tired eyes still rolling,
Film draped for dreaming.
This last Summer Saturday,
Might as well call it Fall.
The pumpkins out and jumping,
Future jack-o-lanterns for fun.
Gentle breeze cascades,
Every once in a while a poof.
Sunny sun still sunning;
Please don't ever go away.
Time to heat up the coffee;
My goodness this is good!
So open arms and lean back;
God is so, so good!

I am about to take a trip into the lens of thought.
I am going to magnify the face to be.
Sometimes it may be pretty as ugly goes.
Otherwise, it is an ugly feature.
This journey I am partaking is sociologically constructed.
It defines why the world is stuck on stupid.
Nothing more than you being more refined than me.
I see you are a masterpiece.
Expeditious I am.
In search of new populations, I travel the Pacific.
Indigenous people are there to discover.
I will not trip when I see a different sister and brother.
This crossing must be made in this day and age.
Excursion digress to acumen investigated.
Natives of new country longing to be unearth.
I am in quest for a difference in the universe.
Toddling to not be a todd,
I will ramble the Eastern and Western hemisphere.
As the explorers did long ago, by vessel I go.
From East Pacific to West, I look for what is there.
I imagine only reptiles and amphibians in the East and water mammals sunbathing in the West.
This is a knowledge quest endeavoring.
If I do discover indigenous people,
I will be very cautious to not assume their normality.
Embracing their difference, if I am allowed.
How long I am there, who knows?
I came to educate and inspire.
Through my navigation system, I will share out.
If a signal is not given, I am disallowed.
Therefore, will I return to my home land, is question to ponder.
Insofar as I sally forth imagism via looking through the lens of thought,
Expeditious is my cognizance, as I trudge forward for gen, the world is a brilliant place to be within.
________________________________________________________________________
PENNED ON JANUARY 09, 2015!

I've watched the war from behind closed doors;
Eyes too glued to close.
And now knowing what's in store, there's porn no more.
God's love is the only hope we know.
We are forgiven because of the love that is Jesus.
We are saved because of the love that is Jesus.
We give our lives to the Father for we are His children and He loves us.
We are loved!
No matter what we've done, we are loved!
Confess and ask for forgiveness;
This is such a beautiful gift!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
You forgive me!
You save me!
You change me!
I am changed!
I am new!
I am renewed!
I am forgiven!
I am saved!
I am changed!
There's porn no more
For God's hope is in store!
There's porn no more
For God's love is the hope of the world!

I wake on the sand
Right near the beach
You have yet to awake
Far out of reach
And Daybreak has arrived
A beauty unlike any other
Comparable only to us, girl
And how we love each other
So I gaze up alone
Marveling up at the sky
The warmth of the sun
Drying my eyes
I'm reflecting on us
Oh how each other we trust
I'm just so happy we're together
And I think to myself,
Just as this sun, we'll last forever
Then returning to be with you
I lay again now
Place my hand gently
On your warm tender shoulder
While I think of our lives today, love
And how they'll be when we're older...
I know there'd be no other way
So "I Love You" I make sure I say
To you, each and everyday

Gun fire all around, bombs going off in the distance
It was some of the angry mobs and resistance
Father was the king of SafeHaven a small kingdom
Like all other kingdoms it fell in random
Fire started in the castle
And along with it came a battle
It was a distance memory now because the child has now grew
Many things in this child that made memories stew
My name is Mastrey, a young orphan who was there that night
Mastrey saw her in the distance and her father and mother in his sight
Everyone was loud that night and made all the children hide
But that evening Mastrey saw her mother and father die
She ran into the bushes in such a fright
And evil doers were running around with flashlights
Mastrey remember it as he distracted them
Her eyes was so confused with problems
Mastrey new that it was because of what just occurred
His feelings of what those people did was not awkward
The distraction worked, he went back to were she was
Hiding and very scared she was, he asked her, can you trust me just because?
Her answer that night depended on her lively hood
As Mastrey was their with his hand reaching out to her as he stood
Pulling her up from the ground he looked into her eyes that were SeaBlue
Mastrey had made a life long friend and love, She knew it was true
Next: My Story Telling, Who is this Princess

I'm worried where the next dollar will come from.
Will she ever arrive?
Will she ever show up?
But why am I worrying?
Stop it!
It's all in God's Great Hands!
It's all under God's control!
It's all within His plans!
It's all His
And He will provide
Because He is our Father!
He loves us!
It's all His!
Trust Him!
I know it's difficult;
He will not lead you wrong.
He knows where you need to go.
He knows what you need to endure.
It's all His plan.
It's all in His Hands!
Lay down your life;
Give the control.
He is in control!
Thank You Father!
Trust Him!
It will all be okay!
Trust Him!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
Thank You Holy Spirit!
I love You always!
I trust You always!
I trust You!
I trust You!
Yes, yes I do!
I trust You!
I love You!
Amen!

I can act insane
But DO NOT
Make me feel worthless
I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation
Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee
I can act like an
Adult, but I’d
Prefer to have joy…
Not stress…
That piles upon us in our
Everyday lives
Being childlike is
A rare beauty –
No one prizes it…
No one came across it…
In this lifetime…
I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine
Renew my young heart
Give me the ability
To kill the old man…
I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs
By my future generation
I beg of you –
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy
I’ll still have pieces of a child in me
And pass it on to my future generation…

Clinching my fists together,
I realize an emotion is driven,
How to get through,
The pain that has been given,
The paths are bright,
Only seeing so far into each,
The rest is out of sight,
My choice on which will teach,
Teach me like a young child,
Growing into an adult,
My ways are mild,
The hand says stop; halt,
Is that where you want,
To direct the heart,
Deep thoughts haunt,
The streets start to part.
It’s a decision for now,
In the future we’ll see,
In with two feet; plow,
Plow the other lane-no longer to be.
I chose right,
Wrongs may come across,
Darkness comes every night,
But I stand up like a boss.
I’m the boss of my journey,
Which way to head next,
Points given; attorney,
With two feet I’ll use respects.
Choose which way will benefit-but always know there’s darkness in every path, so stand with TWO feet.

If these eyes shall become blinded, and if this
hair shall come to be combed thinly and grey;
No, it would not be the end of the world.
I would still see beauty therein this world through
the songs of Crickets and Feathered Songsters.
The breeze would yet whisper and trees still dance.
I would yet smell the freshly bloom of Spring.
I'd still endure Summer's sweltering heat.
I'd yet feel Autumn's leaves crunch 'neath these toes.
I'd still long to be fireside with Winter.
Disabled or not, perhaps I'd yet walk
therein wonderful imagination.
How I'd be forever young at heart!
Then just as one journey came to an end,
I'd indeed greet another with a smile.

Such a nose had Ol’ Blue.
Best in south Missouri... everybody knew.
Could smell a pheasant across the plain.
Could point a covey in a hurricane.
That’s the way the legend goes.
Ol’ Blue had a “magic nose.”
As Blue got older, his master’s mind would drift away
To a place where he and young Blue used to play.
In the mornings, sitting over his coffee cup
He found it sad there were no pups.
He thought it would be such a shame
If the only memory was Ol’ Blue’s name.
So, Jim was compelled and full of pride;
He made a search, far and wide,
To find Ol’ Blue a suitable mate.
No doubt, his offspring would be great.
It seemed likely, he supposed,
At least one pup would have his “magic nose.”
She was a Champion Miss from New Orleans,
A beautiful “red” named Cajun Queen.
But Blue suddenly passed away, before the pups were born.
Jim was broken hearted. He and “Queenie” mourned.
Then came the litter, but there was only one.
Jim struggled for hope; after all, he was Ol’ Blue’s son.
Dappled and lanky, a handsome little cuss,
He looked just like Blue. Jim made such a fuss.
Naming this pup would require no ado.
It was obvious. Officially, he would be “Blue Two.”
Oh yes, these were mighty large tracks to fill.
“Can he?”, folks asked. Jim would say, “Heck yes he will!”
So his nickname became “Two” and he seemed to be smart.
Soon it was time for his training to start.
The basics went well, but Jim’s outlook grew very dim
When, instead of pointing, Two would wag and jump and bark at him.
Oh, Two seemed to be trying; but try as he might,
He just could not seem to ever get it right.
“Blue’s son or not, he’s got to go!”
Jim found Two a “pet home” far away, in Tupelo.
On his way back, he stopped in Texarkana.
Been too long a time since he’d seen his sister Hannah.
Six days and six pounds later, he was back on his way.
Work at the farm was callin’ and he’d be drivin’ all day.
He thought about Ol’ Blue and wondered if and when
He’d ever have a birddog as good as Blue again.
Oh, he knew another “magic nose” was just a far off dream;
After all, it wasn’t something any man could scheme.
A “magic nose” was a gift from God, only given to a few;
And he was proud and very lucky just to have known Ol’ Blue.
As he turned into his drive, he broke into a smile.
“Why… I can’t believe it! It…It must be 300 miles!”
Two was on the porch, thin and dirty; but he struck a handsome pose.
Jim ran and hugged Two hard. “How’d you get back? Lord only knows!”
Suddenly Jim realized; and struck with awe, he slowly rose.
A tear trickled to his smile. “Why Two… you have a “magic nose!”
Two and Jim are best of friends, together everywhere.
From milkin’ cows to bedtime, Two is always there.
Jim doesn’t hunt much anymore, now Two’s a rescue dog.
Just last month, he saved a little girl lost in Cooley’s Bog.
Jim struts and tells proud, heroic stories;
While Two wags and jumps and barks, and shares his glory.
Jim boasts, “Like father, like son!”, then speaks fondly of Blue;
But all know the largest tracks to fill are those of Two.
His deeds are known far and wide,
And fill Jim’s heart with love and pride.
For with every rescue, the legend grows;
About a dog named Two, and his “magic nose.”

So you sinned?
Well, that's done and over with!
Keep it in the past
'Cause that's where it belongs.
But ask Jesus for forgiveness;
Don't dwell on mistakes any longer
Because He makes you new again:
Renewed.
Love is the outcome;
Forget the wrongs,
Love and move on!

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.

Before a rainbow appears
there must be a little rain
Before we find true love
we must have a little pain
you might run away from your problems
but your problems still remain
you have to leave the past behind
before you can make a change.
To travel through life successfully
you have to accept life is no bed of roses
and you have to ride the storms
see problems as a challenge
you can learn from
take the bull by the horns.
You can't rely on others
to give you a helping hand
and get on
you may have won a battle
but there maybe a war to overcome.
Life is for living
and serving God up above
to thank him for all he has done
and his love.
Don't put off until tomorrow
what you can do today
or one morning you may wake up
to find it's too late
your old and grey.
Peter Dome.copyright.2012.

Summertime…and the livin’ is easy,
Flowers growin’ and the sun’s sittin’ high.
Your Daddy’s rich and your Momma’s so good lookin’;
So hush, pretty baby…you got no reason to cry.
One of these days, you’re gonna rise up smilin’.
Take a look around and think you’ve got it all.
You’ve got your Momma’s looks, all your Daddy’s money,
And all the boys in town are at your beck and call.
Summertime…and the livin’ is so easy,
Laughin’, singin’, havin’ so much fun.
No time to stop and think about your future
And what life will bring when your Summer’s done.
‘Cause Summertime, it don’t last forever.
Breezes cool and the leaves begin to fall;
And in your quiet moments, you sit and wonder
How you've come so far, but have no love at all.
Yes, Summertime…and the livin’ was so easy;
Ain’t it sad how fast the good times fly;
And now your Momma’s looks and all your Daddy’s money
Another sweet, warm Summer’s day they cannot buy.

In the exact moment that I am right now
I stand in a sea of vulnerability;
susceptible to the effects of causes around me
and since I am fully aware,
I own my surroundings
I am one with sounds and vibrations
resonating from the earth;
I am that pulse of the drum beat
thats been thrashing
inside me since birth
Right now, I am exactly as I am
deeply flawed and misjudged
used, victimized and persecuted
Right now I am you in the absolute
Right now, I am exactly as I am
balanced, whole and complete
attracting abundance and certainty
Right now I am peace - still you
Right now, I am exactly as I am
You

You've fallen down again;
How can you let darkness win?
You just scraped your knee,
You didn't break your leg.
It will all be okay;
I will give you strength.
Brush it off, my child;
Come and take my hand.
Let me help you up again;
You will be okay.
I have always been with you,
And I always will be.
I am by your side,
But this time,
Will you allow me to take the lead?

Forget! Regret not, for it all has intention...
To attempt comprehension leads to double block wall.
In searching your question, much more loss is gotten,
Confusion, dismay a deeper dug hole.
Infinitely seeking you strive for some meaning,
the truth is quite simple you are not sole at all!
Infusion connection the union eternal,
Is easy to grasp when knowledge of whole,
is truly encountered from deep within query
The meaning the truth the love of it all...
Once trouble & strife and struggle are missing,
The clear light of being shows beauty once more.
Accept what is given agree to the treaty.
Fight not with your fears, and answer your call.
Find substance in living, step over delusions.
Regardless of meaning, life’s radiance will soar.
So use this awareness these words and this practice,
Come forth tall and sturdy, head high and recall..
When sad and when empty in need of intention,
No doubts I plead! No need to explore!
Emotions you hold are sensed by your siblings,
Your waves of sensation your truth and your soul...
Are parts of us all, we are all together we are all but one!
In oneness we’re whole!

Rise at first light.
This cowgirl enters up to ride this day.
She dawns her hat, for this is not any day.
Ready to pay her dues.
The sun will beat down,
hot and hard is how she'll ride.
Cowgirl up!
Into the shoot we go.
The blood pumping, muscles quivering.
Ready to go!
The gate slams open.
Off we go!
My mustang and me,
to round that first barrel.
Away we go!
Rounding our second barrel.
Sweat trickling.
Thundering down to that third barrel.
We round that barrel,
the dust will follow.
With a war cry,
We head down the long path home.
Followed by cheers and jeers,
she crosses the line!
Cowgirl is up and paid her dues.

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…
**chorus**
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh…
Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh… I’m failing
*chorus*
I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…
I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…
*Chorus*
Splintering lies fill your heart
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall…
*chorus*
Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold
Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares
Answer our prayers & block out the night
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight

Earths people, it is time to wake up, the ‘Prince’ is alive!
Ascension available, access through your heart
Seek and you shall find!
Time is short, personally unite, connect as one
Eternity given
Rise to the occasion, celebrate the gift of life, bond, with ‘our lord Jesus’ and ‘our Universal Father in heaven, building a bridge, experiencing kinship, between human and spirit
***Happy Easter Everyone***

All around me
Great cities made of sand.
Green sky scrapers poke through the ground
To thrive in life’s strict conditions
And melt away with the tide…
Great houses made of cards
Form lines, and tightrope walk existence,
Knowing that any moment, the wrong brick may fall
And buckle our world to its knees
As Mother Earth shouts Jenga! from the sidelines.
So while were here
We dance with the Glass Goddess
Poised miles above reality,
Leaping over the heavens on our domino stilts-
We floor it in the sky
Living death in the fast lane,
Seizing the day
Because any moment
We could disappear
Into
Jacob Reinhardt
10/15/2013

As I think about where my life has been...
It’s hard to believe that I’m still here again!
I think about the many things
I’ve been through.
And ask myself the question;
“what am I going to do?”
With the trials of life,
have come trials.
A life filled with uncertainty
and many “traveled miles.”
It’s like riding the waves of life’s stormy sea.
Never knowing where the next wave will take me!
Everything I know... And all that I’ve done…
I lay down my life at the feet of Jesus...
God’s precious son!
I ask you Jesus for mercy! I come to you now!
I come before your majesty and humbly bow!
You’ve brought love and wholeness within!
You’ve given me a “new life!”
And took away my sin!
I love and thank you Lord,
for your hand extended!
The beauty of your holiness
is to be commended!
You brought to me hope,
in a hopeless situation!
And have given to me
the wonderful gift of salvation!
By Jim Pemberton

They praise me like a saint,
But I am a sinner;
They don't know the man they see.
I am an addict.
Broken eyes to pornography,
Only Jesus can set me free.
Only by His death on the cross
And the grace of His Father's love
Am I able to be set free.
With God as The Light,
The One and Only Light,
The Only Hope in sight,
Will I be set free.
I am free.

A little child ,
normal and wild,
ready to attack the world.
Then Rett moves in,
and trouble begins,
giving disability to a once normal child.
A little child,
now trapped from the miles,
of an active life with friends.
not able to discuss,
that which is a must,
for every other child their age.
They're in there you see,
but can't get relief,
from the prison known only as Rett.
one single Gene,
is all it seems,
chaining this child up inside.
We wait for a cure,
while we hold back the tears,
and pray our child see's the day.
when poems like this,
will not exist,
and Rett a thing of the past
gone away.

An amulet of peace hung ‘round my neck,
An AR16 rifle in my hands….
Seemed like such a paradox,
In the paddies and jungles of Vietnam.
An amulet of peace hung ‘round my neck,
A man’s life was in my hands….
That life was not only mine,
While trying to survive in Vietnam.
An amulet of peace hung ‘round my neck,
Hoping for guidance by God’s hand….
Ignore our sin, keep us alive and safe,
While fighting in Vietnam.
An amulet of peace hung ‘round my neck,
My duffel bag in my hand….
After 13 months, I was going home,
No more to fight in Vietnam.
An amulet of peace hung ‘round my neck,
An Honorable Discharge in my hand….
Only to be spat upon, called ‘baby killer’,
By ‘peaceniks’ against the war in Vietnam.
An amulet of peace no longer hung ‘round my neck,
The challenge of a new life was at hand….
Found love, happiness and some success,
And tried not to think of Vietnam.
Again, that same amulet of peace hangs ‘round my neck;
And I hope my friends all understand….
I want our courageous young men and women
Out of Iraq and Afghanistan.

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss
I want to carry you through the night…
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears…
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years…
Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover
I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night…
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed
Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover
Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain)
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…
I promise you a tranquil reality
I want to stray with you tonight
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us
Pure, incredible delight
Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…

CONFIDENCE
The world is full of people trying to stand out.
But they don’t realize that they already do.
They try so hard to figure what life’s all about.
With all their piercings, Crazy hair, and fresh tattoos.
They miss out because of the worry they feel.
Will they approve of the way I dress, think, or act?
In the spotlight a few moments they might steal.
But some of the stupid things they do can’t be taken back.
I have a secret that only the few wise ones know.
Love who you are and forget what they think.
And all the good things in life will soon follow.
And you shall rise above all as the critics sink.
So meet the world with you head held high.
Let them see the beauty that is in you.
Let them see your happiness and joy inside.
And know that nobody needs to love you more than you do.

We all have a story to tell.
Ups and downs,
Together, we've been through it all;
God has led us through it all.
Trust Him;
It's all for a reason.
All your pains,
All your struggles,
All your hurts-
They're all for a reason.
God has a bigger plan,
One we cannot see.
Trust Him and pray.
Remember,
We are all in this together.
Together, we have been through it all.
Ups and downs,
We are family-
Brothers and sisters in Christ.
We are friends.
Most importantly,
We are family.
Let's love one another like God loves us.
Let's help each other out
And help each other up with loving hands.
We are His children.
We are His servants
Together on His mission
To love, save, and change the world
For the better.
We are all in this together.
Listen to His praises ring;
Let's praise Him together.
Listen to sister Fantasia sing,
"Sometimes you gotta lose to win again."
Thank You Father!
Amen!

Make him A Soldier
Make him a soldier
so I won't cry anymore
Transform a boy to a man
so he will stand...alone
In the dark forest
beaming
as natural combustion of dusk in the sky
Red blood running through our veins is the same
identical as if we share the same DNA
And even as a child I couldn't deny how our hearts beat the same
Rate pulse pace...boom
it startled me
but as I gaze in his eyes
I felt a deep connection
as if he knew me better than I knew myself
White
Our love is so pure and shall never be tampered
and even if life tries to poison us
we will always have each other
pure love
Blue water
a million miles away from me
and as he travels from sea to sea
I think of him daily
I try to remember where we came from
blue water
shared space
different times
Blossomed from a tulip where our petals do not vary
and the sepals seem to follow a course set to sail
So I beg you
Make him A soldier
so I won't cry an ocean of tears
Transform a boy to a man
so he will stand beside me in my darkest hour.
Help me to raise my head
when he is long gone from here
When my fears are red
my soul turns blue
let me remember the purity of us
how I loved a my brother a man of red, white and blue!

Stuck in the prison of my own life,
I dodge behind these walls I built.
And inside is a demon covered in guilt
And shame so thick you can't see his eyes.
God, please help me to see
No matter what, You will always love and be with me.
Thank You Father for everything.
In Jesus' Name,
We pray.
Amen.

When I came to you I was broken and frail~Half my mind gone in despair
Feeling so Low~Like mud on the ground~Wondering if my Joy would ever
be found~Fighting and resisting at the very Start~then slowly you entered my heart
Quietly and gently working insid my soul knowing just what you were doing to help me glow
You broke into my soul where I had been suffering the most you cleansed me
and entered me showing me what I needed to see, working endlessley on my soul
you cleansed me and made me once again whole. God almighty you never cease to
amaze me always by my side even when I'm at my worst, loving me endleslly and uncondionally..
You have opened my heart to the beauty again, the beauty of the clouds the beauty of your creations'
The beauty of the rain, the beauty of the thunder, the beauty most of all of your people.
Opened and vunerable I am to you always. Enter me and have me do your will in my life
help me to always follow you in every aspect of my mind, body, and soul with every ounce of me
Silently by my side help guide me in my ways so I do your ways and your will dear god almighty
Walking together down this journey in life nothing can go wrong with you by my side
Hold me and love me in this I pray guide me down the right roads along my way
I want you by my side for the rest of my life, no more going alone on this journey
I need you Lord God ALmighty to guide me ,Love me. and Hold me through my good and bad times..!
Written By Christina McCullouch 8/3/2012

Won't allow my mind to crack
See um no ordinary jack
See nigga's I always bounce back
Go ahead and talk all ya bull smack
So why don't you cut me some slack
Not my fault started this thing
whack
Always mind directs back to track
To a higher heavenly pack
Response to the sound of a quack
They fall to the ground as do flack
See um not the one who is black
See um the nigga thas a mack
So to all ya sucka ass hacks
I got something for ya to snack
Now turn that ass to take a smack
Now ya gonna hear the sound
thwack
Gonna give to ya what ya lack
Take a puff from this fat ass sack
Not gonna put ya in a rack
Just gonna make paper stack
See um my own unique Billy Jack

They said my life is worthless, but my net worth is priceless.
I'm one of the nicest. I've been bless to express my life on this.
I was built for this, so they can miss me with that snuffed up "ish",
No need to curse on this, no disrespect needed, it's time that we be kind and courteous.
What occurs to us could be a curse for us; but what occurred is a must and in god we should trust.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, consider yourself dead if we continue to live unjust.
Cause there's no justification for your judgmental infatuation,
In fact your situation is a declaration of your own character in question.
Any questions?
In consideration, I'm trying to make sense of this verbal composition,
But you're always in competition with your mental institution, while you're in a mindless and clueless position.
I'm no illusion. But from all the confusions, I became a realest.
I never said I'm the best, but I'm always at my best to the fullest.
And somehow haters new about this and that's the reason why they started hating on this.
Trying to convince me that I wasn't built for this.
Instead, they became my photosynthesis I became photosensitive to there photo-negative emphasis.
I had no choice but to put an end to this and considered it a life changing experiences.
My fearfulness went into a metamorphosis.
Went from more fear to less, that morphed into too bless to be stressed over some senseless mess.
Therefore I rise. Like high risers in the sky I've arrived.
The sky is the limit and I'm going to live in the sky till the day I die.
Who am I?
It's no question I'm a reflection of the most high; far from perfection,
But His intentions are perfect, perfectly prophesied by my third eye.

Stand up and shake;
Feel the rhythm in your heart.
Ignite those pants;
We get up and dance.
God on our mind,
Eternity in our souls;
Feel the chills of those bones.
It's the hope.
Open those closed doors:
Into Heaven we go,
Welcomed and forgiven.
Here is the love;
Let's dance!

We live our lives here for a reason
we all make mistakes along the road
regretting nothing would be a form of Narcissism
No lesson learned
no lesson told~
Should have could have would have
are thoughts that can be entertained
we are not perfect on the road walked~
Taking your own inventory
discovering any pain
written down will release
the brave thing to do
Look at your self and discover ~
"Harm to one another in gossip or lies told
false stories full of hateful intent
listening to these
silently agreeing to participate "
Regret undiscovered causes Rage ~
People whom see eyes closed People we all meet
courage in taking our own inventory
learning every day is a lesson shared
clean your side of the street
doing your best to forgive your own heart
then others ~

“F Bomb”
By Nate Spears
I got the heart of a man name Malcolm
The visions of Martin Luther
The tongue of Emmett Till
The brains of Medgar Evers
Can I get a window seat
Away from defeat
Can I get park for the kids to play
Next to the spot
Where Rosa refused her seat
Langston in my pen
Proud, young, and free
Handsome and intelligent
The government targets me
First,
In a second
My history is a blessing
The court system in racist
Society shows the traces.

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.

Sometimes I get stuck in the struggle
And I forget that this life is real,
Full of real love,
Full of real people,
Full of real strength,
Full of real faith.
Look around
Because this is real.
Welcome to reality;
This is God's amazing life!

We walk talk like champions in the streets of nowhere planting seeds birthdays turn into funerals the life cement was not strong enough to build our hopes or blessings that petrol drive through our hidden abilities we all have spare wheels that God personally manufactured for us and He made education our only air filler for flat tires and this is why we don't stop and breath on our way to our dreams before we get admired right at this moment sum1 is getting cured through the love of spoken worded words laying clear pictures and he could name us life pitchers with endless scriptures and that's for his ears as he turns to be the world's champion

Dreams cascade into my life.
Some I have lived.
Others await me in my dream catcher,
for me to full fill.
I walk the silver threads
that weave them together.
This is my path,
to have a dream to follow,
to make these dreams come true.
Yes, I have a dream,
And am living it!!

Looking down from 41 above,
I only wish I was below.
The sights and sounds so clear to see
Glitz as white as snow.
The lights are distant to the mountains
And the cabs travel around.
The brightest city in the world
Beams into the heart of this little town.
God please give me the grace to see
You are all I need.

One day at a time
With the delusion of anger,
falling from my eyes,
The veil of bitterness,
Torn from the one I despised,
My heart withers in my chest
The spell that cast a shadow on this beauties shimmering frame
That hid a wonder a mystery this woman bearing my name.
I cannot believe I’ve lived alongside you for so long
And missed the chorus of a lover’s refrain.
We like strangers in the night
Ships passing by on a foggy sea,
Have rediscovered each other again,
Fearful yet wanting, the task ahead daunting,
Forever changed by the crimson stain,
Leaving us equipped in ways we can never explain.
One day at a time, we live for these moments,
One day at a time, is all we are given,
And by the grace of God our one day at a time will turn into memories
That we will share over a lifetime.

The Battle, The Victory, The Light
I remember you, great destroyer of heart
emerging from darkness to hatefully start
Battles taken to wing and skyward bound
pain, death and sorrow so, so easily found!
No praise ever adorns your so vile name
curses your bread , your dark wicked fame
Ashes reform to give you such an evil way
miseries abound as you cut, slash and slay!
Seek no victory over my greatest stand
living within truth , my way , my plan
I remember well your late night knock
rejected, you fled quickly in total shock!
I remember you , eater of darkened Souls
slayer of dreams with eyes of black coal
Fangs sharpened on the sandrock in Hell
curses from victims under your dark spell!
Slink away, I curse your murdering spirit
truth slays you as you try not to hear it
I carry the armor of the bright Lord today
flee, flee or else dark life you must pay!
Sword of Love drawn now in countering you
spear of justice gives out your just due
A chant of faith sets seal to your fate
souls freed, all that your darkness ate!
Robert J. Lindley 08-22-2014
Wrote this about 27 years ago....
Rewrote it today and added ten more lines so giving
it today's date..
Light utterly destroys darkness.
In time, good utterly destroys evil.
Man , must understand time yields only to God....

Love they say is louder than hate.
But I think that it’s a shame,
That only holds true when you have a pretty face.
Maybe I’m a disgrace,
For saying such a thing,
But think about your life and how true that *****rings.
And I cannot deny what this mirror is reflecting,
What’s standing in my way is only one thing.
It was beauty killed the beast,
In famine it will bring feast.
And sideways glances, second chances, you’ll get those at least.
But what about me?
What about us?
It’s power like money,
It drives greed,
it drives lust.
So what about you?
What can we do?
All I can hear,
The sounds that make the world disappear.
Love is louder than hate, but I can’t hear it from here.

At the corner of Madison and Huron,
The faint pedestrian appears.
A couple holding hands walking swiftly
As police pass near.
Cane in his hands
Walks a younger looking man,
Rolling his suitcase along
A central corner in a downtown city
Where faith, hope, and love belong.
May God bless you Toledo,
Today and forevermore.

Stimulating ideas pop into your head
You need a pen…you need a piece of lined paper
It looks like you’re outtah luck…no wonder you’re drowning in dread
You need a shoulder to lie your head down for a moment’s rest…
You need a helper…to aid you while you struggle emotionally…
I’m not trying to irritate you purposely
Try with all your might…try your best
To stay optimistic and fervent
I believe that you’ll pass the test
Be upbeat, kindhearted and jubilant
I appreciate the words you wrote on my notebook…
Sometimes, I feel like leftovers left on the counter…
I’m a rotten mess – you’re leaving me as if I’m an uninteresting book
Sometimes, I feel like a coward – I don’t mean to bother…
But, you’re like no other . . .
You’re like a mat – you’re constantly stepped on…
I’m like YOUR unwanted tool –
I stepped on you and
Pushed your buttons
I accused you of being the fool
When, in fact, I’m the fool by your side…
You’re drifting…pushing me aside…
I’m writing words of truth though –
Expressing how much I’m fond of you
I esteem your presence
Glowing with glee
At times, you do say things without thinking
I’m the god of distress –
You’re leaving me breathless
Cutting me down like I’m some decaying tree
You don’t see how much you make me…
Guilty for your crimes
Taking the blame about the hundredth time
At times, I feel that I’m awkward when I’m around you
You’re like a backpack – you carry everyone’s weight…
You’re like a sponge – soaking in our stress
I’m a distraction to you – you’re wasting valuable time…but don’t hesitate
I’m writing words of self-centered feelings – logic doesn’t exist…
But these feelings aren’t as bad as committing a crime
These feelings come and go – I just had to confess
I didn’t mean to screw up your progress…
Hey, if you need a few sheets of paper to right on,
Use me like a notebook instead…and write with all your might
It seems as if you read me…like a book that drags on and on
Use me as your tool of relaxation… and read me all night
When you wrote those words on my notebook…
It made my day…you’re such a delight
Like reading a fascinating, classic book

He says he loves me then he says he loves me not
He loves me today but by tomorrow I'm forgot
He runs from my love but returns wanting more
I guess I'm to blame for letting the traveler explore,
See travellers just wander and are never here to stay
They admire the scenery and enjoy the display
They tour the land and ride the attractions
So memories become their only subtractions,
They search for an experience that is what they yearn
The condition once they leave is none of their concern!
So how can the land be devoted and true
When travellers come and go out of the blue.
The present is now and where he's travelled to,
But the past he calls home so he must return soon
Most likely just a visit although time can only tell,
But what he lusts is in this land and he knows it very well
He may call that place home but its this land that he seeks
Travellers on a mission never realize until they hit their peek
He continues to damage this land down to its core
So what's left to offer when their is nothing left in store?
The resources were depleted and the land left bare
He comes and goes as he pleases it doesn't seem fair;
See this land has been abused time and time again
Seeds that were planted, were means to an end
But pleasure and satisfaction was always accomplished
Because this land provided where the homeland was disadvantaged!
But despite the history and despite the trust
Submit to his urges is something he must.
So this time around his departure is permanent
Lack of faith and loyalty was the final determinant.
The damage he caused cannot be rendered,
So his visitation rights he has surrendered!
So leave this land I say and never look back
This is the path you chose I hope you can stay on track,
Cause travellers have memories of the lands they have stained
But the land only remembers the one that remained!

Let me go
show me out the door with kind words
I want you to Love me ..
not punish by Force
My Prison, my warden
Let me go
My choice to be Free
Free of suppression, of my own creativity
let me decide for myself
my destiny
Let me go
let go of me gracefully
I belong to myself , children and God
Let me go , let go of me
I am free
to choose to love and give
I am Free
from what burdens me
now I am Free

I did it again; I need forgiven.
Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before?
I've fallen into these same sins countless times before;
I still haven't learned my lesson.
I am an ignorant hypocrite.
Am I still forgiven?

He swifts on by like a moon lighted night.
He shines bright for a moment in time.
His arm's always open with warmth.
His smile always bigger then everyone elses.
His heart of rage and fire.
He swifts on by, he swifts on by.
Who will know the true man within.
The man thats full of sin.
No one can, no one can, for we are all just man...

What is it to see the soil of home again?
A welcome, snow-struck and a return
To cold; sharp white contrasts sunburn.
We converse in broken tongues to men
We know, hooked on holiday language
Comprised of wandering hand signs.
Collect the car and pay parking fines,
Drive through towns and over a bridge
Until we reach the Western gateway.
Oh when will we arrive at our house?
No camels there, only field mouse
Which are eaten by our cat anyway.
The plane flies for an age, slyly yawning
Through the stretching, pealing sky,
A knife through air; what it is to fly.
Our travels over; a new day is dawning.

The Petty Posh-Wahzee - Liberation & Ostentation
The Not-So Distant Past:
The fallen fighters for freedom, are unable to turn in their graves,
their battered, fragmented bones, mixed with a handful of torn rags,
are all that remain, a mute reminder of their selfless valiant sacrifice.
They endured brutal Apartheid harassment, detentions without trial,
torture in the cells, and mental anguish when loved ones disappeared,
they left their homeland, to continue the struggle against racial bigotry,
while countless others fought the scourge of white-minority rule at home.
Nelson Mandela and many, many others, spent their lives imprisoned,
on islands of stone, and on islands of the cruellest torture, yet they stood,
never bowing, never scraping, they stood, firm for ideals for which they were prepared to die,
and many, many comrades did die, at the hands of the callous oppressor,
and many, many comrades perished in distant lands, torn from their homes,
while the struggle continued, for decades, soaked in blood, in tears, in pain.
The Present:
19 years have passed, since freedom was secured at the highest of prices,
delivering unto us, this present, a gift of emancipation from servitude,
a freedom to walk this land, head held high, no longer second-class citizens,
in the land of our ancestors, whose voices we hear and need to heed today.
I do not care much for fashion, Lewis-Fit-On and Sleeves unSt.-Moron,
yet the ostentation that I witness baffles even my unsophisticated palate,
our ancestors' plaintive whispers are being dismissed, left unheeded, as
we browse the aisles for more and more, always for more and yet more.
Asphyxiated by the excess of the Petty Posh-Wahzee, we find ourselves,
perched precariously on the edge, of a dissolution of all that is humane,
babies go hungry, wives are battered, our elders left in hospitals for hours,
I cringe as I scribble these words, perhaps too sanctimonious and preachy,
yet I know, deep in the marrow of my brittle bones, I know, I know, I know,
this tree of freedom planted by the nameless daughters and sons of Africa,
needs to be shielded, nurtured, protected from our very own baser impulses,
so that the precious tree of freedom, may bear the fruit that may feed us all,
for if not, then we are doomed, to tip over, and into the yawning abyss, we shall fall.

Youth has its’ exuberance
But patience it knows not
Maturity found its’ patience
But liveliness’ forgot
Maturity looks back
At its’ wake upon Life’s sea
And identifies things
Which could and could not be
Experience: the teacher
Through dreams that motivate
‘Twas situations’ circumstance
Which helped to form our fate
Excitement filled events
While Passion fired its’ flame
Within that Youth resulted in
Accolades … or blame.
It’s smiles that reform faces
In Maturity’s recollect
Through memory’s open door …
In warming retrospect.
Time is unforgiving
But Youth can never know
Only Maturity’s Memory
Can make that Time go slow.

When He breaks you
It is to re-make you.
If given the choice
To give destiny your voice
You would undoubtedly have picked this state
Such is the irony of fate
He breaks you now
So you later see the how -
How the pieces of your journey come to be
A slow but eventual solving of this mystery
He makes you work work work – then fail
So that you realize your means are of no avail
Without His will -
But feel His mercy fill -
Even through the aches still
He punctures your bubble of hope
To teach you the meaning of struggling to cope
To avoid you saying ‘this was all from me’
Which you might say if it always did come so easy
He lets you fall
So that when you stand
It’s straight and tall
Your past sorrows
Not letting you drown
Without your ego
Weighing you down
Even while the road appears smooth
He lets you trip and trip again
So that you might stumble upon hidden treasures
From the dirt, which you may otherwise not gain
In essence,
He knows Best
The perfect Teacher
Who puts the perfect test
-
Truly,
He breaks you
To re-make you…
Better.

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!
~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby
They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" - how mean!!~~~
Piggy asks him if
There are other people on
The island with 'em
He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear -
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??
You'll see...
Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!

What lies behind the mirror,
What hides within the clouds,
Who protects my mirror,
Who takes shelter in the crowds,
I protect my mirror,
Hide it from view,
For lying behind your mirror,
Is another side of you,
Some days you’ll be happy,
And others you’ll be sad,
Your eyes will cry your heart will bleed,
But yet you’ll still be glad,
Your loss will fade away,
For you’ll gain something new,
But once you lose yourself,
Then there’s nothing left of you,
With everything I do,
And every sight I’ll see,
I protect my mirror,
Because it shelters me.

UNSUPPORTED CODE What Will I Do? Where Will I Go?
What will I do? Where will I go?
Which direction I’ll take… I don’t really know!
In just a moment, I lost all, that I worked hard to get…
I’m thinking of “letting go.”
But haven’t done it yet…
The things I held so close... Have all disappeared.
It happened so fast. It’s kind of “weird.”
Those I call my friends, don’t really know
what to say.
Most of them shake their heads, and walk away!
I’ve cried myself to sleep many days and nights.
It’s like someone has “turned off the lights.”
The only one I know, that I can turn to, is Christ alone!
I need him to heal my broken heart and home.
Dear Jesus, will you take some time to help me out?
I know that helping people is what you’re about!
Please help me to pick up the
pieces that are scattered!
Help me to focus on the things in life
that really matter!
I need to give you, all of my focus and attention!
I need your word to show me
some clear direction!
You’re the one that I always need to hold on to!
I need to do this, and to completely trust you!
Thank you Jesus for listening
and answering my prayer!
I’m thankful that you’re someone who really cares!
Thank you for restoring my life,
that has been “up-ended.”
With your love, my heart has been
healed and mended!
By Jim Pemberton

~~
Tears, quiet, dead, useless tears falling,
Sorrow from a deep chasm of endless grief;
And my soul and heart are always weeping,
Stealing my happiness, life, like a thief;
And I am left broken, drifting like a leaf.
O Lord, whisper courage for my journey,
It is a hard choice to leave the past behind;
I want to soar like a wild bird happy,
Like a rose unfolding her petals in time;
To ride the wave of life, to seek and to find.
______________________________
June 22, 2014
Quintain x2
Submitted to the contest, Hard Choices, sponsor, Dr. Ram Mehta
10th Place

When Good Of "EVIL," Run You Down, Remember
What Doesn't "KILL YOU," Only Makes You,
STRONGER, *Yes* Faith Can Break, But Our
Strength Of Heart Together, Shall CARRY, Beyond
To It's Highest POWER, Let Go Of Your FEARS, You
Are As Weak As Your Weakest Link, Don't
Patronize The Ignorance Of Foolishness, Bring
Back The LOVE, KINDNEsS, And CARING, We All
Once Knew, The Community...
Make It SAFE AGAIN, Towards Children's PLAY,
Not, "GANGS OF WAR," Bursting Into Plague,
Give It A Fighting Chance, Regain Your Balls Son,
Be Self- ConScience, Put Down That Gun, Don't
Leave Murder-Scream, Blood On Blood, Color On
Color, Doesn't Matter, Stop This Hatred, From
Ringing Out,Once More, A Blistered, Master-Mind,
Of No Peace,Kneel, Pray,To Our LORD almighty,
Rebuild His Gateway, And Reform The Community,
Back To It's Rightful Place...
Re: Richard Palmer Poem
No PEACE

I am…
The steep steps that you take
Difficult decisions you must make
The dry pebbles in your way
The sparkly rainbows with no grey
The tears that flow from your eyes
Your smiles that light up the skies
The bundles of anxiety in your chest
The sweet serenity that wipes out the rest –
I am…
Every knowledge that is unchoked
When gently probed from minds and books
The graceful movement of the hand
As it draws worlds on wood or sand
Every dream that is yet unfulfilled
And every hurt that was stilled
The multiple incredible expressions of love
That no doubt must have come from above –
I am…
Time; all in future, present and past
Everything that faded and all that will last
The sinking and uplifting realizations that are found
The sharp memories of sight, taste, touch and sound
Every truth you ignorantly thought was a lie
And every lie you failed to turn a blind eye
The ocean of emotions you constantly swim through
That lead to risks you take of things you need to do –
I am…
The intentions you act on, either out of virtue or vice
The road that is frightening and slippery in ice
But I can also be the road that is a breeze
With no fear of falling prey to mind and heart disease
Have you guessed the nature of my identity?
I am simply
the history you write
of your life’s journey.

The way you feel
about me doesn't
define me. You will
not cause me to
re-think my
priorities or
examine my virtues.
You may love, like,
hate or be neutral
towards me, that is
your prerogative. Of
course I would
prefer to be looked
upon as good,
inspiring, or any of
the positive human
characteristics we
know of... but it's
not essential to me
if I am not. I
respect your opinion
either way. More
importantly, I
respect mine. In my
eyes I AM worthy of
love, friendship,
forgiveness,
empathy,
understanding,
praise, blessings,
God's Love and love
for myself and I can
only hope for
"genuine" to precede
all of these words
and their meaning. I
understand that
these things I need
in my life, and they
are also the essence
of me, my gift to
those who really
know me and love me,
who truly desire to
be a part me, not
just tolerate me or
see an opportunity
for achievement at
my expense. I have
come this far on a
road paved of my
blood, sweat and
tears and the
admission of my
faults that made it
so. Many lessons I
learned were harsh
but I managed to
proceed in the right
direction and it was
I who suffered and
bowed my head with
shame and it was I
who rose, anew,
forgiving and
forgiven, humbled
and eager to forge
ahead. And the few
that were with me
all the while, will
forever be a part of
me, we are one and I
acknowledge I would
not be where I am,
who I am this day,
without you. And I
will always love
you. It is my
ambition and honor
to give to you the
same beautiful,
selfless gift. I
walk with God, in
good company of
those that chose to
walk with me in this
amazing life's
journey. And that,
is all I need to
know as to what
defines me, as a
person, a blessed,
cherished soul,
grateful for every
single moment.

Thank you for the beautiful memory
you left on my mind
you are not dead
but you are not here,
to me you are gone,
cos i cant feel you the way i used to,
everything you used to do are left untouched
the space you ocupied is empty,
our yesterday is fading away like the rainbow
so beautiful but so short,
how can i forget the endless yesterday?
when you are here with me.
in loving memory of my sister (you are not an angel but you did what an angel can do,you fly to heaven.)

You have fought, and been broken, now time to let go…
The hardship, the worry, the pain & dismay
Open eyed clear surrounds.
Look!
Breathe in rainbows
Open eyed feel cool wind.
Scent of leaves, soil, water,
Penetrating molecules with gifts of being
“Tranquil, dear heart”
Accept though it’s finite… Accept that it is!
You are!
Feel again, and you will feel again.

Regaining Power.
He walks a lonely road, with his head there in the clouds
And he doesn’t even notice passing strangers
He’s been here ‘bout a thousand years forever all alone
And he’s always looking out for passing danger.
Invisible sometimes he feels, so he tries to seek the glory
As the child calls out in panic “I am here
They have taken all my power so my blossom will not flower
And all around I’ve built a wall of fear
But it’s his pain it is his game
As he prowls around his cage
He lives in vain, is he insane?
And fear ignites his rage.
The truth be plain, the lions mane is what he must acquire
The little boy he must regain his power
And tell the world “I’m here, I’m here” and feed the burning fire
It would take this much to open up his flower.

Young love bird wounded during your flight
Worried now where your companion landed
You sing a beautiful song, but still no sight
Certainly now he must have gotten stranded
The magical serenade continues to no avail
Some concern now for your own well being
This winter flight treacherous you feel frail
The singing stops, you are hardly breathing
One pilgrimage not completed you feel pain
Some guilt overtakes when you start to heal
The flying before your partner was it in vain
Or is there.a bird needing your singing still
Bird of flight your journey is still not done
Heal now, continue to fly for the other one
Penned by Wayland Bunch 2/12/2013

Keeping my head up, treading water
Cut throat surviving, struggling
Going under, death visits
Will to live, tested!
Selfishness Vs Selflessness
A Greater Love, encompasses me
God demonstrating mercy, for his children
Learning about forgiveness, cultivating, inner faith
Melody of Love, one can experience
In the darkest, waking hours, of everyday living
Self survival, learning how to live
Peace of Mind, Peace of Heart
Peaceful Spirit, Freedom in Love

Gray and abysmal are her days
Each moment a faded dark haze
Consumed in her fairy tale dream
Her prince never came it would seem
Venturing she thought it were fate
A new destination, clean slate
Then within a breath of meeting
And an awkward funny greeting
She was cast under a love spell
Too embarrassed to ever tell
How easily the lyrics came
Now that he set her heart inflame
Listen to the keys dance along
Oh how melodic is their song
Listen to the strings strum along
Oh the harmony of their song
In perfect tune with emotion
Played with pure, loving, devotion
Two separate songs bound as one
The album of hearts has begun
Her fantasy life broken down
Soon after arriving in town
Energized to attain her goals
Pondering after long night strolls
Rejuvenated was her heart
As though life had begun to start
A story begins to unfold
Yet their feelings remained untold
Curiosity starts to bloom
Her soul slowly consumed in gloom
Hoping for answers of desire
She burned with his internal fire
Listen to the keys dance along
Oh how melodic is their song
Listen to the strings strum along
Oh the harmony of their song
In perfect tune with emotion
Played with pure, loving, devotion
Two separate songs bound as one
The album of hearts has begun
The album of hearts has begun
Two separate songs bound as one
And somehow they already knew
Without them saying “I love you”

Singing around in love;
Smiles built from the ground.
Holding hands in the dance;
Laughing with brothers and sisters,
All in His Glorious Name.
Throughout His perfectly sculpted land:
Look around because this is it;
Look around because this is love;
Look around and know, understand, comprehend,
Rejoice because you are perfect;
You are God's beautiful children!

Love is my nest.
It holds me
where all the world I see.
It saves me
from the ground
which my soul will never meet.
Up in a forest tree
hunters scattering in threes
they'll never catch me
I have love.
I am perfectly happy.
relaxed I am
I do not stress
for there isn't life
without my nest.
who cares what's below?
I am above.
love is my nest
My nest is my love.

A girl whom he'd forgotten
At his door, showed up the other day
The one he'd always wanted
Just knew not what to say
The boy she longed to hold
She caught his eyes once again
Of her love, to him, she never told
But this time, all her love, she will send
Once in a lifetime, and not one time more
Fate takes hold, luck is lent
From out of the blue, a miracle occurs
Hearts reunite, Together Again
She greets him with a smile
A sparkle in her eyes
For his love, she'd run for miles
To try this thing called love, just one time
Gazing at her beauty, he feels her in heart
Remembering those nights, with her, in his dreams
And how he felt at this whole love's start
Where they'd be one forever, to him, oh how it seemed
Well this girl's name was Katie, and his Steve
And oh how tears were shed, by them both, when they were forced to leave
But in the past that was, so now he holds her hand
Two angels together, forever they'll stand
Once in a lifetime, and not one time more
Fate takes hold, luck is lent
From out of the blue, a miracle occurs
Hearts reunite, Together Again
An old couple now, a lifetime of love
They've conquered all, risen together, above
Together, all the years, oh how they've spent
And to each other, all their love they have sent
Feeling each others hearts beating every morning
Through all the decades, all the happy years
Steve's heart though, one of these days, stopped without warning
And Katie's wrinkled face, moistened with tears
How could Katie live now, without her beloved by her side
Knowing that beside her, his heart slowly died?
She dreams every night now, just as he did before, of heaven
Where they'll be Together Again
Once in a lifetime, and not one time more
Fate takes hold, luck is lent
From out of the blue, a miracle occurs
Hearts reunite, Together Again

LOSS
by~ LEE RAMAGE
Just as poems paint a picture
And songs take you on a journey
How do I keep you with me
Now that you’re no longer here
I am pink clay and you are blue
Mold and mix us together
Separation is near impossible
An image drawn in my mind
by~ Poet Destroyer
The image you draw in my mind
Are enjoying the pink and blue flush clouds
Clever as one on a calm night
Loss is never forever,
Mold me and hold me
You will see the journey will paint a picture near the sea
Twist me in to a midnight nursery rhyme
Mix us into the wilderness that will never separate
There you will find the perfect clay and create ~
A poem without loss and endless possibilities
a collaboration with * Poet Destroyer

Run into my heart;
Run right into my arms.
I will never let you go;
I am yours forever, please know.
You make my soul beat;
You bring me back to life.
God, thank You for this love;
God, thank You for this life.

Juliet would stare out the window
Hypnotized by a distant old tree
That had grown in the land;
She gave a command to soothe her curiosity;
We’d leave the castle’s safety
To journey to the old tree.
I aired my opinion though it wasn’t my dominion;
I promised to protect milady and her baby,
Although it was a waste of time for anyone of sound mind;
The castle a strange thing to leave behind in all its beauty,
Still, Juliet readied the baby accordingly.
We stepped onto the step shaped like a half-moon,
Left the castle and eventually arrived at the tree,
Milady lost her fascination when we arrived at the destination,
She conceded a misplaced temptation and turned promptly;
She decided to head to the west castle door for a change of scenery,
Since we'd left from the east castle door originally.
I lead the excursion for milady and her baby,
We neared the step to the castle when suddenly
I was in quicksand up to my neck; I reached up for the step,
Turned my head in regret to see Juliet and the baby
Drowning in the sand helplessly;
Then an arm reached up and seized me.
I had to ask milady, “Where is you baby?”
I believed she’d let her go selfishly;
“Milady, go down in the sand once more and get your newborn,”
Although she looked torn, she dove in the sand sacrificially.
Time seemed to stop, I could not see anybody,
but then I reached down and they emerged victoriously.
We listened as the baby wept,
We smiled and laughed sheepishly,
The doors opened to a beautiful sight—an outpouring of warm familiar light,
Her staff greeted her happily,
Everyone went about their tasks busily,
Synchronously smiling cheerfully.
Juliet insisted that I make a sign,
To lean at the door for all to see,
So I asked if anyone would lend me a pen.
I could find none although I tried mercilessly,
A woman pointed to a staircase behind me,
“Have you asked the man upstairs where one could be?”
I went up the stairs and found a man there;
I told him what I was seeking; he smiled incessantly;
He filled my request with kindness and respect;
I wished him the best and thanked him graciously;
I returned down the stairs expediently
And wrote the sign very clearly.
No one seemed concerned about what we’d learned,
That Juliet nearly met death along with her baby;
So I took up the pen and began to write again;
I started to write this poem that all could read it personally;
If you live with cheerful people in safety,
Avoid the temptation to stray from it—especially to settle mere curiosity.

“You walked many miles,
Climbed this mountain
To confront me,
A dragon with the reputation
Of being fierce!
All to possess a so called
Chalice of Courge.
By doing all that you have done
You proved that you already possess
The courage you seek.”
The dragon smiled once more
As he saw understanding
Washed over Leonid’s face,
But soon followed sadness
And disappointment.
“Do not ever regret this journey.
This journey was not to acquire a chalice,
This journey was to unblock
The spring of courage
That resides in you,”
Said the dragon.
“This spring will never grow dry
Unlike this chalice.
This spring is natural
And there will never be any side effects,
And one day, this spring
Will become a strong river.”
These words made Leonid stand a bit taller.
As it had turned dark,
The dragon allowed Leonid
To stay the night
As the journey down
Would be dangerous in the dark.
The dragon and the young man
Talked most of the night
And it was quite late
When they both fell asleep.
The next day,
After they said their good byes,
And as Leonid was about to leave the cave,
He turned back to the dragon.
“Dragon, even though
I could not drink from the chalice,
May I, at least, see in it?”
Asked Leonid, timidly.
Understanding how curiosity
Can gnaw at a person’s soul,
The dragon tipped the chalice
Low enough for Leonid to see in it.
The Chalice of Courage
Was empty.
“Sometimes, we need something
To aim for,
For us to take the journey
We need to take,
Even if that something
Is nothing at all,”
The dragon said.
Leonid nodded and left the cave.
He made his way down
The mountain safely
And when asked,
He said he had drunk
From the Chalice of Courage.
Leonid had gone on
To becoming a great warrior,
And only to those closest to him,
He would tell the true story
Of The Chalice of Courage.

In my life I often feel I am alone; alone in my thoughts, alone in my musings, alone in my day-to-day movements and unsatisfying activities. I move like a ghost through hallways and down sidewalks, unnoticed and, at times, gratefully so.
I do not wish to be eternally alone. I long for togetherness. But despite this desire for a real connection, I find myself regularly retreating from that temperamental beast that is human interaction.
“Come on now, sweetheart. Don’t lower your head. Don’t look away. Look up! Smile at someone! No! Don’t go back into your bedroom. Don’t lock the door! Why are you doing this?” my brain will plea.
I can’t help myself. Aloneness is comfortable. In being alone, I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. I don’t have to please anyone else. I can think anything I want, wear anything I want, listen to anything I want, and laugh at anything I want.
And still there remains that nagging desire to be loved and wanted and needed by somebody. I do not know the feeling of being truly desired. I do not know what it is like for someone to crave my company, my smile, my kiss, or my touch.
But I would like to…
I cannot make someone love me or like me or want me in some primal way. It may hurt, but I cannot make that handsome boy want to hold my hand or brush my hair back behind my ear. I can only struggle on. I can only work within myself. I can only try every God damn day to hold my head up, keep my eyes fixed ahead, a give the world the best smile I have. I and I alone can bring myself out of the safety of my bedroom and into the bright world that lies beyond that locked door.
I often find myself alone with nothing more than my thoughts and the ever-strong glow of a computer screen. But no longer will aloneness be the constant in my life. It is true that never having known the caress of a man’s hand on my thigh doesn't make me any less of a woman, but I fear that if I stay confined within myself much longer I will begin to become less of a human. A flower cannot grow if it retracts its leaves and petals every time it feels the warmth of the sun or the kiss of a gentle spring rain.
And I want to grow. I want to grow so tall and blossom so big and beautifully that every place on earth is touched by my shadow at some point in the day. And I will grow. I will push myself and share myself with the world, and finally
finally
finally
know the closeness and comfort of love and honest, unabashed companionship.

Oh it's a beautiful night!
The moon is full
And the stars are glowing
While the trees, with Earth's cool summer breeze
Start slowly blowing...
A campfire's flames are burning so bright
While a young couple holds each other tight
Warming their hearts, as these two lovers embrace
Traveling together, through time and space
Oh how tonight, with their love, they won't hide
Two lovers forever, Side By Side
Under the stars, both of them lay
They've been together, happy, all night and all day
Holding each other, a sweet caress
While green grass stains her pretty white dress
But no words, to each other, do they say
Happy just sitting Side By Side, knowing no other way
Gazing up at the stars
Breathing in the night
Them together with nature
A beautiful sight
All the years they've both struggled
And how they cried
Has led them here tonight
It matters not now
As they'll lie here forever, Side By Side

Harsh winds blow from a baron frozen land,
Of ice and snow.
Exhaling Nordic gods breath a chilling mist
An eerie foggy vapor creeping along the
Waters aquatic edge.
Rages angry seas lap against the wooden
Hauls as battle harden men brace for impact
Waves crack tarring asunder splinters oaken shell.
Yet these Icelandic warriors laugh at death,
Savoring it's flavor, and relishing their own bloods
Taste upon salted lips.
The devils seed lives within them, these
Barbaric conquerors known to history as the vikings
By Thor’s mighty hammer does strike thus,
Against the anvils rough hewed edge.
Sparks fly igniting thunder and lightening below
Splitting apart the very heaven's themselves,
Odin exposes a distant horizons far off shore.
Hear the oarsmen drumming, a pounding,
It's hastening beat the inner heart of this vessel
Foretelling hells army will soon arrive,
At early morning highest tide.
Whom shall stand after this storm hits land fall.
The sword unsheathed will take vengeance fill
With it's blade dipped an ink well of blood.
No treaty signed can stop history's mighty wrath
Feel hot Norse breath upon your neck oh roman.
Seek thy brothers kinsman’s council for
Safety’s sake alone.
Fears children hide beneath a gray cloak of innocence.
Illusions shelter of falsehoods arrogance delusion,
Believing the walls of roman shall never fall.
A dark shadow is cast over thy world of glittering
Gold a plunders treasure chest a shinning example
For glistening ripening to fill ill gotten
Gains empty hauls.
What price to pay for lies deceit, it's brilliance
Calls forth a trumpeting, a sounding for
Deaths comforting.
Valhalla gates open wide, to welcome
Vanquished heroes unto the neither world.
While Romanian drink deeply from deaconesses
Bloody cup.
The Vikings sing a victory song and voyage on
And Odin smile down upon his people
With pride's honor restored.
BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN

Life and its constant state
With a world trying to survive on passion and love
Some try to force other to believe it is fueled by hate.
What a misconception,
A twisted mind in an unfortunate state.
Having the choice of ignorance could be peaceful;
A way to cope.
Yet the knowledge of the truth in experiments,
Mistakes and living life will bring you wisdom.
No you cant learn the answer to everything
And likely never will.
That is what makes so many things in life as beautiful as they are,
A little bit of mystery leaves the mind to wander off into its own
And truly attempt to make the best of it.
March 2013

An earthly existence
A universe beyond my minds, comprehension
I die
I rise
Life lessons reviewed
Homeward bound
I am not lost, after all!
I am a willing participant
Serving, the Father, of all creation
His son combined, ‘producing life’ as we know it
Representing them, in everything I do
I am nothing, without Love!
My heart full of faith, loyal service I give
Learning how to unconditionally serve, as the Father unconditionally, loves me
Worshipping our Divine Creator’s existence
Choosing to live, moment to moment
Being as one with ‘Our Universal Father’
No physical permanency
My physicality, disappearing
My mortality existence, I let go of
Death temporary
My spirit alive!
Relief, Peace
‘I am only passing through!’
A unique, experience of mortality
A gift, I am blessed to experience, to live!

The world needs You, Lord;
We all need You too.
Alone, we battle and fall apart,
But we live joyful freedom with You:
Created anew in Your perfect image;
Saved,
Loved,
Changed,
In Your Holy Name!
We pray,
Amen!

Polyphagia on board is forbidden and not welcome ---------- when
Everybody knows that should we ran out of food ---------- crickets
Probably will not feed us anyhow and most of us will ---------- cry
Pensive about victuals whilst starving madly. No ---------- seamen
Ever should go through famine. That's why we must ---------- stop
Relapsing into gluttony in this ship. I approve of ---------- yodeling.
Pepper spray is going to be one of the ---------- calamities
Any glutton will endure as a punishment. Thus, ---------- every
Real seafarer will chant these words now: ---------- "Bearded
Captain wants no fressing within his ship! Yes, ---------- captain!
Every single gob will ration the food. Frugality is a ---------- must!
Lashes and pepper spray those who fail shall ---------- undergo!"

Sacred and pristine Russian mountain;
here I am to ponder on your beauty;
From photographing you I cannot abstain!
Sacred and pristine Russian mountain.
Dear Russian mountain: 5861 miles plus
19 hours it took me to reach your home,
surrounded by nature. I am not a wuss!
Sacred and pristine Russian mountain.
Russian mountain, -30 F
don't deter me from being here. I don't
care if I frezee. This is sheer delight!
Sacred and pristine Russian mountain.
Russian mountain, make heart glad and gay!
If you were able to speak today
I wouldn't understand a iota of what you say!
Sacred and pristine Russian mountain.
Russian mountain sacred and pristine.
Mountaineers and explorers from abroad
come to visit you because you are alpine!
Sacred and pristine Russian mountain.
Russian mountain pristine and sacred.
We won't find you in an amusement park;
because you're only here, blue and red.
Sacred and pristine Russian mountain.There's no one like you in Spokane!
Sacred and pristine Russian mountain.

Captured by the beauty of Lillian
I think of her on the coast of Durban.
With her is where I want to be.
So beautiful she could be a Wodaabe.
There's no way I could assign a worth,
Indeed the most beautiful woman on earth.
Being close to beauty encourages this man.
For her I would plow the fields of the Sudan.
To hold her hand would make me glad.
I would confess my love for her by the dry well in Chad.
Being near her could lift me from the Diaspora.
We could make a start in Liberia.
For her hand I would ask her ma ma;
permission to marry her in Ghana.
We're not moving too fast too soon.
There's a home waiting for us on the coast of Cameroon
There's no place I would fail to go,
Yes even to Bembe in the Congo.
We could lay on our backs admiring God's moon;
while sharing kisses in the meadows of Gabon.
Please don't say no and bring my eyes to shed tears.
My friends would have to console me on the streets of Zaire.
I would remain faithful in Tanzania,
Celebrate her beauty in Kenya.
For her love I would carry her cross in Askum, Ethiopia.
My love would not wonder,
It could stop the civil war in Rwanda.
What God had ordained let no man put asunder.
For you I'm a one woman man.
Our love stays strong and so I continue to pray.
We could start a farm in Great Zimbabwe.
For Lillian I'd leave America,
and hold onto her all the way to South Africa.

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet,
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world
We all live in

You belong to me mate ( Intro )
And that be that!
Get on board
And grab your hat!
The ship was aghast at its new passenger ( Verse )
Like disdain for the lives that they now left behind,
Newcomers were scarce
And they never would last
But I held up my chin nice and high.
The bloke who took me screamed ( Pre-chorus )
“Mop up the deck we’ve got things to do!”
But I said sir,
I’m just a boy and don’t know what’s to do.
And he said ( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shores
Taking what’s mine
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”
Taking the seas for more than eight moons
We found islands and loot
That was bigger than most.
The taste of sea air
With its wind in my hair
Took me away to this new life I lead.
After mopping the deck
He grabbed my hand and screamed
“Steer this ship boy!”
But I said sir,
I’m just a lad and don’t know where to go.
So the crew yelled ( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shore
Taking what’s mine
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”
Surprising to me
Was my unshaven face
The captain looked on
And smiled with grace,
We stopped at a place
Where the women were loose and didn’t mind
If we took a peak.
He said “Now you’re a man so let’s get on that boat,
We got places to be and some people to rope,
So grab that sword and drop that mop
Cause you’re no longer a boy in my eyes.”
I practiced the duel with the men in the crew
The captain took eye to my devilish pride,
And he took me aside and said
“Even in death I’m gonna miss you boy
But don’t let it strike you
Or kill your spirits
Cause even time can beat out the Grim.”
Then in the darkness came fire and screams,
Our vessel had stopped after fourteen years,
The crew fought hard and beat most of the men
But now, my Captain was dead.
We took the new ship watching ours sink deep
Saying goodbye to our drowning escape,
The crew turned towards me and asked
“What do we do?” and I smiled,
And they did to.
And we yelled ( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shores
Takin what’s mine
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”

The Soul of the Bull.
The one with Taurus in her chart
She’s loyal, tough and strong
She likes to spend each day in peace
To the earth she does belong
Patience is a trait of hers
And she loves to laze around
But if one chose to anger her
An enemy they’ve found.
She’s steady in each thing she does
And she’s good with her hands
She likes to be the silent one
She makes no strong demands
Possessiveness, this be her fault
She holds on much too tight
She must have her security
Before her life feels right.
Down to Earth, with common sense
This be the way she be
And willpower she has indeed
A hoarder so is she
She gives affection to her friends
And listens to their woes
And everyone who gets to know her
For her, their love just glows.
23 may 2013@0458hrs.

Approaching the winter of my years,
Never yet found my reason.
So much laughter, so many tears,
Yet all that’s sure is the season.
To few, all my days;
So many spent simply breezin’.
Should I regret their waste
When all that’s sure is the season?
What’s it been about anyway?
Perhaps there is no reason.
Did so want to learn the truth,
But all that’s sure is the season.
Always tried to consider others.
‘Tis much easier to be pleasin’.
How many are my friends?
All that’s sure is the season
Felt the urge to make my mark.
Fame or fortune was my reason.
Fear of failure was my tether,
For all that’s sure is the season.
A man of Christian faith,
Hope God finds me pleasin’.
Fair chance tho’, I’ll go to Hell,
Yes, all that’s sure is the season.
So what of value will I leave?
Hearts and souls I may be teasin’
With too few words too few will read,
While all that’s sure is the season.
Approaching the winter of my years,
Never yet found my reason;
But thank God for each extra day I search.
Still, all that’s sure is the season.

Make writing as a habit and addiction
Not just a hobby
Indeed you can gather more stories of your life
By simply writing it every day
When time passes by
Your stories would become something valuable
Than pieces of diamond
Remember everything comes from nothing
That later became something.
So don’t forget to write –
Don’t forget to write some today!
Saturday, 16 March 2013, 8:49AM
Sandakan Nature City, Sabah, Malaysia
The poem is a reminder to us that writing everyday is important
Let Us All Save Peace. Ilyimy. Layag Sug!

Like the folded petals and bud, I'll bloom and flower..
Like the worm, I'll change and I on metamorphosis...
Like a seed, I'll grow and bear fruit..
Like a baby crawl, little by little I'll stand...
Life is a constant continuous progress..
Even our age passes the time..
Time a nonstop reminder of events..
Mirror a reflection of unstoppable changes..
Yet, deeds and actions leaves irreplaceable imprints..
Through even decades sprint...
by: olive_eloi
9:36pm
12/11/2013

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)
My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now.
Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier.
Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet.
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid.
He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil,
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.
When he speaks a calm
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and
bravery and how
he continually fights against
the "Apocalypse Now".

I don't need any money,
I don't need fancy shoes.
I don't need to buy happiness,
'Cause all I need is You.
I don't need expensive clothes,
I don't need things to choose.
I don't need five-star meals,
'Cause all I need is You.
I'm smiling here so wide;
I feel like I'm brand new.
Today is the start of something big
'Cause all I need is You.
My soul is eternally fulfilled;
My heart is being led through.
I don't need anything else,
'Cause all I need is You.

So what if i smoke, who does it hurt?
Why do you care what plant i choose to grow from the dirt?
I just want to laugh again,
I i just want to smile again,
Smile for something other then a family photo.
This is my crutch, this is how i cope..
This is how i tell my self that there is still hope, It could be my only hope.
My obi-wan-kanobi, the only one who knows me.
I don't know if your my savior but do believe your close,
you keep me laughing, you keep me off a rope.
mother why can't you see!
This is so much more then dope!
It leaves a sour taste now because I know you don't approve,
there is so much worse things that i could use and abuse,
Don't you remember my friend Dillon? Don't you remember the news?
I knew he was getting into bad Sh*t but i just ignored the clues..
but f*ck, i don't want to think about that....
F*CK! I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT!
Maybe if i smoke this it will somehow bring him back..

Turn the wheel
*******he sea...
Push aside the misery...
The abominable agony...
Endure this hardship...with me
Fight off the tears and let us roam to sea
Don't make it hard for me
To determine the waters
We are the same kind
If you can be so KIND, let me show you your destiny -
To dwell with me in tranquility
We will try to share our responsibilities...
Take turns and share our possibilities...
How have you been?
Sorry we have shut our ears
To your deafening cries
I'm turning the wheel for you
You're losing energy...be still - why are you so blue?
I'll shut out the feeling of anguish
You'll get what you wish
We will start anew
We will start on a fresh start
We will fulfill our dreams and make them come true
We'll brew away the sadness
I'm determined to eliminate
The distress... swallowing us like a tidal wave...
Behave, you wild childlike waters!! Behave!
Don't worry - we'll get rid of
The limited happiness
And make our heart pump with merriness
Don't be a magnet of depression stress
You'll experience a wonderful opportunity
So you may feel at one with
Our world full of possibilities
And eliminate those cruel, wretched words
That tore apart our responsibilities...
Our activities... our reveries... our possibilities...
That brought us back together
We'll be hiking
These somewhat difficult hardships together

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love

Married? ME!
were I not already taken
and out bringin’ home the bacon
I’d take another wife
to replace the one that’s fakin’
the Big “O” around the house
is when she sees a freakin’ mouse
but wrestling for the quilt
beats wrestling with the guilt
of the birthday’s that went slippin’
while I was out there sippin’
and she was home alone
sitting by a silent phone
Lest you think that you can trifle
with a married man whose wif’le
kick your ass and take your name
for I’m too dumb to blame
for that look upon my face
that says I’m ready to give chase
for the truth is “when I roam”
all the roads lead me back home
cuz my heart and soul were stolen
by blue eyes and locks so golden
that the sun would shield its eyes
whenever she passed by
now turned to silvery white
stuns the moon in autumns night
as the gentle azure skys
remain in awe of loving’s eyes
So continue on your quest
for I am truly blessed
to nightly wrestle for the quilt
as aging lover’s slowly wilt.
John G. Lawless
9/18/2014
for Judy Konos - Will You Marry Me poetry contest

As I fly,
miles high,
out across,
the deep blue sky,
I look for prey,
on the forest floor,
as I elegantly soar,
I can spot a hare,
a mile down,
and dive at 100,
to the ground,
I am the acrobat,
of the air,
and the king of the sky,
without a care.

wether to weather stormy weathers,
crucial to any understandings.
dire to decision,
more like a feeling never mentioned.
heavy to the struggle;
when the weight of the world is on your shoulder,
rise above the storm,
rise above the norm.
critical to the lifestyles,
hard to choose where to begin.
to wait till' the sun shines,
not waiting for the tears to rain.
so many unaware;
the choice you have to make,
the effect it has on you and everybody.
to stress getting through,
to make the right changes.
better to mve on,
don't linger on the problem.
not to get undertow by the trials and tribulations.

Written September 28, 2013
On a winter's day
On a chilly morn'
I'll be mourning
The loss of a love once lost
The loss of a love once buried in the frost
At the behest of an angel
She'll come around at last
When the dinner bell rings
We'll walk along and sing
Songs of ancient writings
Found written on the walls
Of spiritual surroundings
Dancing in my mind
Swinging to the pendulum of time
To make her what was mine
Before the sound came crashing down
Like chandeliers of persistence
Glistening brightly in reflections
Of crystal on the table
Clinging glasses to a toast
For lovers entangled evermore
On majestic misty mountains
Where snow cascades down the countryside
Until it's reached the ocean floor
Where salmon swim upstream
To the tune of our dreams
While embryonic journeys
Pass through the corded ever after
To dream of light and day
While the children beat their drums
To the tambourine in time
While the father's watch unwinds
And the son is in the closet
Strumming songs with Jane
While the mother presses cotton
The daughter recites her magnum opus
To animals in repose
Upon her bedroom floor
She speaks in tongues long gone
Like a kiss from a rose
And then she's gone
To dream with the ancients until dawn

Christ Stepped Down From His Heavenly Throne!
Christ stepped down, from his heavenly throne.
He came to earth… For 33 years,
he called it his home!
His mission had one purpose and desire in mind!
He was to one day,
be a sacrifice for mankind!
He taught and gave us his words, powerfully spoken!
He knew that one day,
his body would be broken!
He desired that all, would one day, come to know him!
Because of his resurrection,
all can receive him!
He’s alive today! And reigns from heaven above!
And desires to touch us, with his endless love!
Won’t you humbly come, and accept what he’s given?
And experience the power,
of being forgiven!
This can be your moment!
This can be YOUR day!
He loves you much more,
than words can say!
All honor and praise, to Christ Jesus, our king!
You are our righteousness!
Our everything!
By Jim Pemberton

I can’t survive without the rush of an impulsive swallow or an impersonal touch.
I’m fueled by the adrenaline I get solely through sex and drugs, driving while high and chasing danger.
Piercing my skin with needles and pins,
willing to feel the worst to feel anything

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath
the ice.
More than remaining in a
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why?
It burned and it stung.
The markings remained,
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little
known loathing were the known
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the
child that cried
Never was their relief for the
child that tried
You were that lovely bird that
understood the complications of
felicity
Nothing looked the same in
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears
of joy.
The others-they were yet to
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
You were that beautiful bird
filled with care.
The others came and were not
alone. Their two suitors sat on
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you
come?
I began to wither and wither
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a
human raceme.
The droops of the Lily of the
Valley became the slumping of
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had
taken you and the person you
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its
intricate self and you became
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
Mother, Mother what moved
you so?
Your intense spirt vanished only
to supplement a monster.
Mother, Monster and your tar
filled lungs.
How did I kill that liver that was
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you
turn?
My lovely bird and your big
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as
quickly as lice.
You dear bird hurt me well.
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest
strength.
You brought me up, then you
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you
down in your deep black
slumber.
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights.

From the day I promised to
be with you forever…
It’s now been 25
years together!
Through the trials, laughter
and many miles
We’ve had our share
of joy and trials!
You’ve been so loving
patient with me.
My beautiful wife—
my lovely sweetie!
This anniversary, I am so very
proud of you!
You’re a wonderful wife!
Faithful and true!
With you, God has given
me the best!
My love for you is so
hard to express!
I Love YOU! Is what I
will always say,
This very special
anniversary day!!!
Love,
Jim

Diving deep, into the void, within
Washing, cleansing, myself clean
Trusting without expectation
Letting go of, what I am familiar with
Allowing the divine, infinite spirit to guide me
Teaching me how to live
Growing inside my heart and mind
Larger than my mind’s ego
As I consciously shed light, upon my self created burdens
Lighting up, my made up fears, my mind has believed, all these years
All the mistakes I have made, now become my greatest blessings
Showing me how to love, without attachment
Discovering, who I truly am

I scramble up the jagged rocks,
on my way to the peak of this mountain top.
A self-given measuring stick.
Toppling back, I fear I will fall.
Barely hanging onto this rock.
Hardly enough strength to carry on.
Bruised.
Broken.
Beaten down.
A gaping hole of nothing opens under me,
as I stare below me.
Reaching, blindly seeking for the next foothold.
Scraping my way,
my hands feel like they are bloody and raw.
Trying to find my way to the top of that
formidable mountain top.
Just to see if I measure up!
GypsyofEssence

Dark night of my soul
Where fear and pain reside,
As rulers on their throne,
What courage cannot muster
To fight this battle within
And overcome its hold.
I seek to find resolve
To enter and seek a way to find
A way to remove its hold
In the dark night of my soul
And morning joy I seek
When it’s time does peak.
Dark nigh its lessons bring
If I seek to find them,
While morning waits to come.

I stand, alone.
Scratching for my truths,
peeling away the veneer,
I stand, alone, before this
impregnable cliff so sheer.
Cocooned in my solitary shell,
wrenching a smile from a tear,
I stand, alone, a little odd,
and definitely quite queer.
I stand, alone.

Turn the wheel
Out of curiosity
I'll be generous...you'll receive
Something special...something to make you whole
Though the trials you must run through
Are a great struggle that can easily
Pull you down
And I want to erase your frown
You will feel way better about yourself
Just trust me...take my hand...
I'll encourage you to have a satisfying time
Just for your own liking
We'll be hiking
Those somewhat difficult hardships
Together for eternity
We'll spend time in the future
Together in unity
*******he sea...Let's flee and be free!
LOOK how nice you look!
Trample those insufferable nuisances
That dare put you down
To the sea floor
I'll push them to the core!
Feel free to walk the
Road of Recovery

I rend asunder and
Crumble into dust
Before my very eyes.
No answers forthcoming
To my many questions,
Most important, "Why?"
"A fool are you,"
I stand thinking.
"There is no disguise."
To worry so about
What matters not
In the by and by.
Trials have strengthened.
Sorrows kept me human.
No point to analyze.
"Life is for living,"
An ultimate truth
I finally realized.
Sooner than later
Might have been better,
Had only I been wise.
I rend asunder and
Crumble into dust....
A twinkle in my eye.

There's nothing left to write.
No more textbook vocabulary to relay your state of mind.
No more analogies, similes, or metaphors to convince others that your abstract thoughts could ever be compared to concrete concepts.
No more iambic pentameter to give rhythm to your flat-line emotions, or play-on words to give your conscience a personality.
No more diction with an optimistic connotation to give negative issues a striking charisma.
Nothing.
No more can be written.
Leave it the way it is. Maybe someday it will grow on you.

When your engines burning and you call it quits
Say goodbye to the devil and all of his wit
When the breeze has you backwards holding your soul
And the December snow makes you leave your last goal
When the brisk air freezes your knees
And the door won’t open because you can’t find the keys
When your family grows numb under all the commotion
And your head keeps spinning from too much emotion
When your sipping on gin and juice clutching the last bone bruise
And you’re under the tree searching for a noose
Hold the rope in your left hand
And break it with your teeth
Gnaw down on the sunset
While you’re looking for the sunrise
Lift up your head to the moon
And pray with closed eyes
Go on walking the road isn’t too long
Keep steady for you are not too far gone
When your nail polish chips
And the birds aren’t chirping
When your coffee is cold
But your ears are burning
When you can’t fall asleep and it’s two in the morning
Keep on dreaming
Even though you aren’t sleeping
Your mind is moving
And your hands are shaking
Your voice is quaking
And your toes are tapping
Keep your lips smacking
And your lungs inhaling
When you exhale words that aren’t meant to be heard
And your talk is wrongly taken
When you pull out the cake and it’s all undercooked
And you think to yourself what should I be making?
What should I be hearing?
What should I be seeing?
What should I be loving?
What should I be doing?
In this life I am living
And you say to them come keep me clean
Keep me focused
And keep me mean
Under all the dirt and grime
The stories under your fingernails
With the mountains you’ve climbed
And the garden you grew
And the ocean you swam
And all the things that you knew
About fishing boats
Crossing moats
Turning rock into gold
And sinking until you float
Like George Harrison you said
Making it on his own
Living until your full grown
Never accepting or taking a loan
Because you can do this
You said you’ll do this on your own
And there’s a ship sinking somewhere
You’re grabbing some drift wood
Staying afloat
Just because you know you should
You can take it two ways
Above or below
You can grab the door know
Or jump out the window
And you’ll see yourself in the door frame of a house
And he’ll be waiting in the kitchen
For your welcoming smile
Because this is your place
So pick up the pace and don’t lose face
They might see you with the utmost disgrace
So walk in slowly
One foot at a time
See the hallways as a maze
And find yourself in your own home
Grabbing your own keys
Dusting off your own knees
Holding onto your soul
Even in the cold breeze
You may be shaken
Or rattled
Or turned upside down
But you know that
You’ve got one foot in the door
Standing on solid ground.

If I hold on to strings,
That tend to slip away,
Does that mean I love things,
That I know will never stay?
If I hang on to a love,
that just holds me down,
Does that mean that my wings,
Won’t get me off the ground?
If I hold on to lies,
That I only half believe,
When I look in your eyes,
Will you look back at me?

Who can un-travel the journey of love
of a thousand and one contradictions
of moments more - then less than enough
the weapon for a minds ammunition
for all get wounded in the unsought war
the plight of being shot by friendly fire
eye on the enemy while at the door
lie the unsuspecting repercussions of desire
Much like soldiers fully geared
suited with the warfare of Cupid
It's not just the suffering that we fear
but the suffering because we were stupid
There's more to marriage
than want of bliss, more than euphoric kiss
lest it leave you with no more than a vestige
one must weigh their hope with the risk
And so with cautious heart we trod
this road we cannot un-travel
and hope beyond hope there is a God
for loves journey is a fragile battle
It can crush and it can kill
or make all your dreams sublime
make no mistake this journeys uphill
but in the end you can only hope... it's was every bit worth the climb

There's a place of sanctuary,
That shows me a face of statuary.
I would travel to the roof,
Where the moon would keep it aloof.
Lie on my back,
Set my heart to the steady track.
Falling down to my eyes,
Are the shinning stars from the skies.
Laying unto me a blanket of dust,
That the night found to me a must.
Speaking to the shadowed clouds,
While it formatted my long lost drowds.
You could peer into my eyes,
There you would see the reflection of the skies.
You'd see harmony in the lights,
Or maybe the wings of people on flights.
You could see your loved ones,
Hiding behind the face of the suns.
Look into my pupil,
See the passion asserted in dupils.
The bright night sky,
Provided me a place to fly.
Running my finger tips through it's star dust,
Flashing a smile from far to dusk.
Can you feel the magic in the air?
You can find it in the heart you wear.
Or perhaps the the world above,
Where the most magic is part of.
On your way to this journey,
Grab ahold of the night sky firmly.
And never wonder why you have nothing,
As long as you have that harmony in grip,
You may have a long fullfilling trip.
Cali Mitchell

Coffee Science
Wild storm crashed my boat
Succumbing to the unforgiving rocks
In a sad deposit on a primal savage shore
Remote and desolate are words that come to mind
My Keurig and I alone survived the humble wreckage
A couple K cups floated up
Lapped upon the salted waves
There to be found and saved
There is one small issue on this island to submit
The science of electricity was yet to be invented
Nor outlets to help the Keurig brew
If I don’t have my coffee
There is nothing left to do
The coffee maker will have to be returned
From what I can surmise
And what there is, to be discerned and seen
There is no receipt
Like us, it too is lost
I guess we’ll have to wait
For a boat or foreign science with electric to come our way
Before we take our coffee break

My Madness, Me...
Confined by this straight-jacket,
strapped in, numb and dumbed,
a washed-out, has-been, also-ran,
body, eyes, the equilibrium of mind,
rattling like stones in an old tin-can.
Still, I am,
I am,
and I am unchained,
my dreams taking flight, soaring,
above these claustrophobic walls,
of synapses, and dungeons of stone,
swooping through green valleys,
taking a detour to savour the joys,
soaked in torrential, evergreen memories,
of a younger man, with passion in his bone.
I am.
My wings unclipped, unshackled, free,
I am, and though I am unable to see,
I am.
At long last,
me...

You plague me with your sweltering disease
My heart throbs in unease
You carry me off to a far-off island
Your breeze keeps me flowin’…scraping sand
Your names escapes my lips
I tell myself,
“Get a grip, dude…”
But you decided to intrude...
My blood drips to the floor
I’ve been losing balance…
The instant you pushed me aside
Your quietude devours me…
I can’t help, but hide…
I feel horribly disheartened…feelin’ too insignificant
To start my day with a good note
Too discouraged to be motivated to run…
You trade me your pain in the past
I consume it like a bear
My stomach is churning persistently…you’re running too fast…
I’m dowsed in despair
My eyes stare vacantly…into space…they roam happily
Your vigilance keeps me safe and sound…I dwell in your tranquility
Your dreams caress my own…
This intriguing comfort never makes me feel alone
I’m under your dazzlin’ spell…
This is heaven – not living hell!
I’ve been bruising myself over you…for a while now
The moment you abandoned me that night…
Your rejoicing mends my gash…heals my mind…
I think better of you – everything’s black and white
I feel so exquisite when I’m around you…
So inspired to reveal my might…just shine your light
On me…and remember to meet me at sun rise…
But I still feel malnourished…
By your sweltering disease
My heart refuses to beat in perfect rhythm – my high hopes nearly perished
By your forceful breeze…pushing me on my knees
I’m stumbling off my feet – I’m not at all pleased
I’m not in the mood to be teased…
I’m suffering…I’m not discreet
How did you push me off my feet?
Why do you make ME feel so damn miserable and incomplete?
You plague me with your sweltering disease
My heart pounds as I fall upon my blood-stained knees
You carry me away to an unknown place
Your voice still rings in my ears… I glance at your admirable face
I’ve faced you way too many times –
Your sparkling with majestic brilliance and pure grace

Lost and drifting in time,
The captain gives the hourglass a turn.
It’s been months that the ship has wandered the waves;
Each dip is followed by a swelling rise.
Each day becomes another journal’s page.
“Another day lost at sea” is how the book tends to flow.
The crew dreams at night; the distant memories flow.
They’re brought back to a better time.
A lover’s kiss or a gilded page
in a family bible fill their heads, each in turn.
But once the morning lights rise,
their joy is drowned beneath the waves.
Such was my life without you. But your love brought waves
of joy that sent my sorrows on to flow
out and away. I let my aspirations rise
and cherished each sweet second of the time
we had together. This was our turn
to be happy. Your love was the pen and my heart was the page.
And so the ink dripped and blotted the journal’s page.
The crewman cried, “Land ho!” and, beyond wind and waves,
the sight of golden shores made each sailor’s eyes turn
skyward. Upward, thankful prayers flow,
from salt-cracked lips, more used for cursing those in recent time.
Forgiveness seemed mutual as the crew heard the cry of seagulls rise.
Now home for years, each day he would rise
and look anew on his journal’s last, unfinished page.
The captain remembers not the dreary, hopeless time,
but rather the harbor’s colors in the breeze. “It waves
for me,” he thinks, and onward the years flow.
No one is so forsaken that their fortune cannot turn.
And so I bless the day we met, for it marks the turn
of my sadness to joy. My spirits rise
With passions that flow
From my heart onto this page.
You rescued me from being tossed about on misery’s waves.
May our love that saved me outlast even time.
In life’s great book, we turn together each golden page.
Side by side, we rise above the mountains; together we dive beneath the waves.
Our ship may flow where it will, but my heart will be yours for all of time.

Seriousness settles in, like an old friend
Seriousness spreads like a disease
Infecting us, accelerating, our aging process
Our youthfulness, our playfulness, slowly slipping away
Our wonder in life, diminishing
Seriousness leading to rigidness, pathway to small mindedness!
Days and years, rolling into one
Colourless, lifeless, mundane, dull and boring
“What day is it?”
“Don’t smile or your face might crack!”
Judgemental, cantankerous!
Pompous attitudes, of modern day man
Stubbornness and ignorance, clinging to what’s familiar
Seriousness, up tightness, humourless, imagination vanished, pathway to madness!
The mind focused on its self created drama’s
Fears constantly being stimulated, from our outside world
Personal insecurities, constantly being triggered, inside
The past lives on, the present forgotten
What was once important, now, left on the back burner
Hard headed, victim orientated
Righteous, self absorbed
Emptiness, hollowness, helplessness
Seriousness and ignorance, walk hand in hand
Becoming, our best friends
The vampire suckers of vitality
Sucking the life, out of our personal goals and childhood dreams
Lose of faith, gradually, losing our way
Lost, amongst the thick of it
Not knowing any different
Everything becoming an illusion
Seeing things as it should be
In our own little universe, no one else’s!
Entrapment of the mind
Our, personal intelligence, laying dormant
Body and mind, riddled with dis - ease
Heart beating hard, starving for a substance, we call love
Numb, to the outside
Numb, on the inside
Desensitized!
Going crazy!
Consumed with our own self created loneliness and separation
Ignorance meets insanity!

I wrote this one with a friend in mind;
Her growing belly tells what most think the whole story
Her age is a cause for shame
She is scared And feels so alone
Strangers look at her And laugh
Pointing and wispers
She thinks her only way out is to destroy the thing inside
Angels and demons struggle in her young head
Fighting for life
She goes to church
Pro-life people shun her
They whisper:
“She is just a young child”
Against all odds she decided to tell her friends and family
She is going to see this through
She encounters lots of anger
What a little whore she is
God seems to not love her
She makes an appointment
Tears in her eyes she ascends
She opens the door to the clinic and climbs the stairs
Carrying the weight of her cross
A miracle
A older women dressed nice with hair as bright as the sun
Do not harm this child
Take comfort my dear sweet girl
I have been where you are
I have received their teasing
Do not listen to them
God himself has blessed you
The bulging belly tells a story
Your naked hand proves how brave you really are.
You've made it this far and you will make it even more.
Not every woman out there can do what God has blessed you with.
The woman gave a hug and the tears started to pour.
Back in the car she took a deep breath.
With a hand on her belly she spoke to the little child.
" I don't know if your a girl or boy, or even if I will be a good mom"
I promise to you I will try to do my best, just please don't turn out like me and be wild!"
She started the car and prepared to drive home for the worse
She knew this child was not going to be easy to have
Inside her was a little life growing bigger each day
No matter how hard it was going to be with her faith in God she would find a way.

Sometimes I like to pretend, things never came to a end. But over time, our love became a crime. I didn't know what we had, would ever end so bad. But then I knew things weren't right, when we started to fight. Now I walk down memory lane all the time, the pain is worst then committing a crime. We only caused eachother pain, but we were eachothers maine. I thought things would be alright, but I cried alot that night. I don't want things to change, without you my life is strange. You said you wanted me so much it started to hurt that you couldn't wait, now im just another person you hate. When you said you didn't care, I knew the person I loved was no longer there. You aren't the same, the new you is lame. We both fell, now it's hell. You use to always be here for me, like family. But now your nowhere in sight, things aren't right. Empty is all that I can feel, I still can't believe this is real. I didn't mean to let you get away, I didn't know what to say. Am i with the right guy, or am i telling myself a lie. I was afraid to loose what we had, but to you that choice was bad.

my ticket leaves thursday,
these 21 years here will not.
the too long, you can't list
rockstar memories with the guys will stay,
for we are landing in LA.
I know my move is
needed
I am leaving behind no wish for salvation
for I have always found myself
I move my presence to
land, where the ocean and swaying
trees' brings a spring to my step.
this mind can adapt anywhere
throw me to the dessert
and I will think
throw me in a cage
and I will think
what a gift,
sometimes a dagger,
others a white swan
floating on a lake

The wheel of life keeps turning every day
Birth, life and then the subsequent decay
All living things must return whence they came
The pattern always remaining the same
All living things start life's journey at birth
Become adult through the process of growth
They then participate in reproduction
Thus creating the next generation
Life then continues daily in this world
Until old age and illness take their toll
Lastly, all must face death's reality
That brings a final end to life's journey
The wheel goes through a full revolution
With each and every new generation
Whatever is alive will someday die
This will surely happen as time goes by

Who are and who is my friends or acquaintances, confusing everyday
but today I have found my self to walk a path that is not so rough
I became so blinded to have friends that it pains me anyway
They take a simple kindness and think that I am not tough
so by deliberately challenging me to act like nothing happens I grow bold
Wake up you! and all the rest, I have something to say
I don't like this feeling of regret or sorrow so please do not take me cold
as a friend you should know to not take advantage of my kindness in away
A storm is blowing inside my soul burning a hole in it so
lightning is striking in methods unknown for in the distance thunder you hear
Some of the greatest warriors fall with great weapons of bow
antics that slaughters such feebleness as cowardices use an unseen spear
To let one know that your feelings are clear do not hesitate
to do so shows fear and that is one thing that can determine your choice
With kindness in your corner you should easily win and that will be great!
In the end you can hold up a drink with friends and smile and rejoice

I'm sitting here in this room,
thinking to myself about the past.
How I had bloom...
though, it didn't last.
God, everyday I am lying.
Everyday I put on my mask.
I always end up crying
since no one dares to ask.
I stopped talking to my friends,
cut them all loose.
For this is the end,
and we all knew I would lose.
Everyone around me thinks I'm better.
since all they see are lies.
They should know better!
Even though I'm in disguise.
I put on my fake smile
and laugh along with everyone around me.
I think everyone is in denial
since they can't obviously see
They act like nothing happened.
like... I faked the whole incident.
They honestly don't know what happened,
or why I caused that incident.
They believe that I was never "broken"
just that I wanted attention.
I should have never spoken
and give them my full attention.
No one knows I've been skipping my pills,
everyone thinks I take them.
Maybe I'm saving them for the kill?
Who knows what I plan to do with them.
I throw up everyday,
only because I've grown used to it.
No one understands my ways
or why I keep quiet.
Sometimes, when I'm alone
and I see something I could use to harm myself.
I check to make sure I'm on my own
and start to look at myself.
First, I cry...because I oh so much hate my body.
Then, I hurt myself.
Proving that I am nobody.
and since I'm alone, and with no one else
I continue doing this
until I see a drop of blood,
then it feels like bliss.
I continue sometimes, craving the blood.
Then when it gets too much,
I sit down
thinking... no one knows I do such
if they did...would they let me drown?
I bet they would.
Since everyone I have come to love,
leaves me..just like they should.
because I'm nothing from above.
You might think I'm a blessing.
ha, I'm a curse.
I bet you were messing,
and just tried to keep it from getting worse.
but let me get this straight,
nothing you say or do,
will get me to leave this gate.
For this gate is where I was left to
be on my own.
to forget about help.
I was always alone,
never having anyone's help.
Just let me be,
I don't need your sympathy.
Can't you see?
It doesn't matter to me!
I'd rather have everyone hate me
than have you all pretend
because believe it or not, I can see
through all your acts that should come to an end.
You aren't my friend,
so leave me now.
This my end,
you mustn't know how.
I will write back soon,
for this is my only comfort.
I only shall come at the time of the moon,
for that is my hour of comfort.

I talk to myself in many voices
Having conversations with myself
Answering my own questions
Thinking it is something else
The mind can play tricks
If you let it
It can convince you of anything
The conscious and subconscious mind
At times feels separate
From each other
Not connecting as well as it could be
A detachment from the brain
Lost in translations
Of many conversations
To feel safe and calm
Within oneself
The fear of losing yourself
When no one hears or believes you
Feelings and thoughts
Put on a dusty shelf
Not everything is clear
But I am totally aware
Of what is going on
Many layers of words
Coming out of nowhere
Can scare the mind into submission
Eating pieces away of your soul
Losing control
Feeling all alone
In your psychotic turmoil
Who will be there in the end
If I go numb and cannot see
Love me as I am
Or set me free to be me

On a cold and gray winter’s day,
We began our journey of life.
Well-equipped and eager to start,
We were joined as husband and wife.
Discoveries at first were as foreseen,
Visions of day-to-day.
Then a gift of life was realized,
On another winter day.
But in life’s jungle sorrow does live,
And death is the lion that reigns.
But in each others' loving arms,
We managed to ease our pains.
Other joys and woes encountered,
Only served to make us stronger.
And sustain us on our journey of life,
Until we can journey no longer.

Drained to my very heart by our slow-paced arrival,
I wander through tasteless decor to the metal arches
Beyond which a future is unfurled.
My bag’s innards are spilled like blood in the Bible
Before the cold gaze of the armed man who marches;
He holds the key to this new world.
The mechanistic arch stands and takes quasi-sentience
Beside passport control, piercing my finely popped
Eardrums with sonic solemnity.
I am refused by technology but stagger forward hence
Into baggage claim where a suitcase pile is propped
Up like a holiday Tetris calamity.
My suitcase is soul black and with difficulty is found,
In its lucid eagerness to fasten itself a faux family;
Airports are filled with pretences.
Now we are away again, small trolley safe and sound,
On the road from snow, heat is where I plan to be.
Our intrepid journey commences...

Those Distant African Nights...
1.
The shadows swayed in your candlelit room,
a cool breeze teasing your bare back,
streaks of lightning forked in the Johannesburg night,
as my hands stroked your hair,
kissing your soft mouth,
holding you,
ever so tight.
2.
You whispered that you loved me,
and I kept silent,
the rain fell,
shadows danced,
thunder rolled,
the breeze teased your naked back,
you whispered that you loved me,
as my lips found yours,
the rain washed over our tender nights,
lightning and candlelight,
etching poems on your burnished skin,
yet,
a fear gnawed at me,
deep within.
3.
We parted ways,
and you could never forgive me, you said,
now, after numberless thunderstorms,
the rain that falls,
echo the countless tears that I have shed.
4.
You are long gone,
far away,
happy, I pray,
yet the memories persist,
those precious moments shall never,
ever,
like the Jo'burg rains,
trickle away,
and I wish you well,
for loving me as you did,
for it was I who was not worthy,
then,
and it is I who is not worthy,
now...
5.
You were always true,
it was I who always,
always,
refused to,
to give myself,
completely to you.

This town was the place we used to call our haven
You don’t remember which road we’ve driven on
The stars were shining against your cherished soul
You’re a part of my belongings
You’re ascending above the ground
The peace is still like hidden treasure – it’s bound to be found
I believe in you…I put my faith in you
After the miracles you’ve performed
You don’t agree with what you truly are
The sky is grieving
You jump from puddle to puddle
You’re struggling to meet your destiny
Even if your body is saturated in sweat
You must keep your head above the sea
Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around
I could tell you've been stressing out
But rest your head on my shoulders and let loose your strain on me
Each melody is an exquisite sound that bounces into our ears
Commotion and strife will cease and your heart will be free
We’ll flee together…despite the unwholesome weather
The voyage has just begun…hold my hand and we’ll rise like the sun
Trust me…we will be strengthened and well-equipped before we take that road of victory
Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around
You’d rather be drifting away and never be seen again
I wanna change your mind and erase your frown
Take your mind off of the distressful past
Let loose your strain on me
Hey! I know you’re stronger than you realize
You’re not a failure – don’t be disheartened
Don’t worry…you and I will earn our future prize
This mess will clear up in a moment
Just stay by my side and never depart
From the light… I promise that we’ll endure till the end
Just stay nearby and our hope won’t tear apart
We are willing to do anything to attain our wishes and delight
Let’s take action and snatch our glory before our time is up
Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around
You've been trying to keep a steady pace
But rest your head on my shoulders and let loose your strain on me
Let loose your stress on me…
Don’t be under pressure
Let me handle your anxiety…
Reach towards our divine haven
Do you need a helping hand?
I wish you a carefree
Future

'Twas on caravel five centuries ago,
On third voyage a Queen's fleet sailed south-west:
And the red horizon shone a great glow
Upon Columbus in flat ocean quest.
Into island passage beyond gulf trail,
Through Boca del Dragon on landing wave
Led the Genoan's flagship under sail -
Safe travelled and spared a jagged reef's grave!
"Ahoy, far Indies!", land of sun and realm:
"Isla de la Trinidad" would claim he -
That virgin New World, that far crossing helm,
And by Spanish warrant, its territory.
In a mariner's tale there's one true love:
Mainsail on the wind - Hesperus above.
--------------
Trinidad and Tobago.
December 1995

My heart is beating with upbeat delight
You astound me…in every shape and form
My spirit is dancing with unbreakable might
You surprise me…when you take my hand
And pull me outtah my jail-like dorm
And He dismisses me from my solitude…
My eyes are glistening with bliss…
And I’m far from my demise…
Only to find that there’s no need to feel helpless
Why do you spoil me rotten with your fatherly affection?
Just protect me from any harm
Let me make my own decisions…
To see the results in the long run
You prize me as if I’m cherished like your carefree child
You don’t understand – I’m TOO foolish and wild
I haven’t even reached to full maturity
But how eye hope to see myself grow and be set free
From the world’s mayhem
Is there a solution to this problem?
And I’m left with no answer…
My eyes are eager to see…another bright day
And the night is coming to haunt me…
I find myself slowly disappearing from sight…
When will God give me a purpose to fight?
When will He feed me His awesome might?
Just support me…especially during my downfalls
Please answer my calls!
And I’m left to venture off into His path…
Eye can’t escape my terrible nightmares
Consider my calls of acceptance…my grief weighs a ton
Let me pour forth my tears –
Do me a favor and cast away my fears
Steer me away from disorder and confusion
Eye can see you’re making great progress
You’re heading towards a brighter, superb future…
My eyes
No longer witness oblivion
My eyes
Looks beyond the earthly pain…
bEyOnD the affliction
I spot a rope in the distance. . . . .
Push aside the waves…and let me
Grab it this instant!
God feeds me His love…and treats me
Like a newborn infant!
Eye see my Father with brand-new eyes
I feel rare content
And I feel hardly any resentment
Eye
cherish
that
REMARKABLE
moment

Oh peaceful lights,
Shine down on me
Show me the way to
Serenity and Peaceful days.
Forever shinning
Always so bright,
Guiding my soul with
Only your lights,
Seeing me safely through
These cold nights.
All my wasted days
I’ve spent alone, you
Ease away all my
Worries when you’re
Showing me the way
To my home.

A Chipped Heart...
Dreaming, my heart brittle as glass,
my solitary facade a pitiful farce,
shards tearing out of my skin,
seeking release, from cages within,
I am lost, in the dream,
bellowing out a silent scream,
torn from reality, drowning in the now,
yet I refuse,
I refuse to succumb,
I refuse to bow.
My chipped heart, may be wounded,
wreathed in pain,
still,
I believe, love, truth, belonging,
will take my hand,
again...

Before reaching the crossroads
Where division rises above sea-level
Compelling you to look sideways-
-Up, down, back and forth
While trying to knock on stream of doors
Looking for answers without questions;
So, turning into a seeker
Attempting to enter new phase
By only making the right choices;
Hence, beginning before the crossroads
Where spheres cross one another
Change becoming inevitable
Colours mixing without mixer,
And fire burning without choice
Awakening one's consciousness-
-Suppressed by pride and ignorance-
Sinking everything before the eyes
A world falling apart,
Sending clear signal
For everyone to rise and do it
Before reaching the crossroads

Blasphemy…cloud over their hearts of gold
Their value gradually diminishes…their weapons turn to mold
Serenity…deserted them and neglected them like orphans
Their joy rapidly wears out…they mislaid their abundant portions
They yearn,
“RESTORE the walls of Jericho!”
Anguish…shadows over their dwelling, sacred place
Their weaknesses manipulate them – they’re the definition of disgrace
Danger…defeats them and tarnished them as if they were worthless
Their prosperity shattered straightaway! REBUILD our merriness!
They plead and pray,
“Dona nobis pacem…”
Hear our hesitation and supplication…we’re beneath the bricks and remains
We’re buried alive literally! We’re becoming one with the ground
Fear and despair erases our soothing dreams…we’re getting washed away in the drains
We’re searching for shelter…we’re getting hunted down – we’re barely surviving
They churn…
They coil…
They drift away…
They spoil…
In their miseries…
Does He hear their pleas?
“SAVE ME!”
“Bestow blessings upon us!”
Are you ignoring us deliberately?
“Give us a helping hand
And lead us to the promise land!”
Misfortune unravels in this city of bafflement
Their strengths repaired our souls…we’re the definition of bravery!
Desolation and disbelief demolishes the walls of Jericho…
Does anyone sense their resentment?
Their charity transformed to greed suddenly –
Their lack of optimism and gratitude
Buried them down in captivity
How can you bear their poverty?
How can He save them from destruction and pity?
They whisper on His Holy Hill,
“Dona…Nobis…Pacem…”
Don’t let the battle overthrow ’em!

MLK...
(January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968)
they shot you down
all those years ago
but
your dream lives on
and always will
for though much has been
gained since you dreamed
your dream
there is much to fight for
and much more to struggle for
and much, much more
to fight for still
so
your dream resounds in
our hearts and we pledge
this to you today
for though they shot you down
all those years ago on a memphis day
we shall overcome
this we do believe
deep in our hearts
that
we shall overcome
someday...
(for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)

The world, once a seemingly small place, expands and grows with you.
Bigger, more vast, scarier.
How is one to find their place?
Searching for motivation--forward momentum, I crumble.
I sink into the abyss that is my life.
Smaller, more secluded, scarier.
I scream, but no one hears me.
This is what it feels like to be one mere person.
A dot in the universe.
Smaller.
Ah, I rebut.
I refuse to go unnoticed.
I refuse to live a life afraid of chance.
I refuse to not make my mark in the world.
I run, head first, towards the bigger, most vast and scarier.
I welcome myself to the unknown.
I look fear in the eyes.
I search;
For my place, my purpose, my mark.

It's been quite awhile
Discerned life's complexities
Took more viewpoints
Futile mass events
Authorities blamed each other
Attracted mix ups
Life is a choice
Majority can't accept it
Reality is just a thought.
Living is dying
Light coexists with darkness
Unacceptable quote
Men of God glimpse more
Worst chosen valid events
Prayers can't alter
Consciousness soar high
Crab mentality exists
Overflowing fears
Inner is outer
You exude what you attracts
Embrace all of them.

Nobody
Knows my real name
‘Angel’
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just, the clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me tonight
As,I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”
“Goodnight”

These pass years, I have been in a quest..
There are times I want to stop but I guess..
If steps and risks aren't taken, I'll be waste..
Thus, I try and try slowly not in haste..
To become a Saint, one must be chaste..
To become a hero, must death be faced?
To become renown, must fame be chase?
However, to be love, must one be on same race?
Building long lasting & steadfast relationships..
Will require from you more than stewardship..
Even more than a deal of companionship..
And more than just friendship..
It takes the right time...
Sometimes months extending to years..
Or a whole of a lifetime..
Only God knows yet stay on cheer..
By: olive_eloi
5:29pm
10/10/2013

In the beginning of plight,
We venture off and take action
Beyond the mysteries of the day and night
We search diligently for safety and direction
The aftermath of our flight
Brought us good luck and success
If we look forward...we'll eventually find light
We must get out of this cave...
Or we'll be stomped on by distress
You're our journey's end
Where is the escape route?
Beyond the present anguish, our spirits will ascend
With God's help, we'll find a way out...
No doubt

My eyes
Refuse to see tragedy
My eyes
Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy
And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?
You don’t see
What damage you’ve done
Just let me be
Leave me alone…hand me a gun
I yearn for unspoiled glory
To make me feel perfect once more
I yearn for flawless serenity
To make me feel no regret…don’t ignore
My calls…don’t hang up on me
You don’t see
What damage you’ve done
Just hear my plea
Listen to my excruciating cries…
Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies
Our journey has just begun
And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?
Eye can’t handle the stress
Let me release my horrendous distress
Eye can see you making that same mistake
At least MY life isn’t at stake
And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…do You feel my lament
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement
I’m aching with discontent… I abhor this torment
When will peace scrub off my fear?
I can’t believe my eyes
Your guiltiness flows into me…
I can’t believe I fell for your lies
Your heartless action rape my mind…you don’t see
What my EYES see…
You’ll never see
How much pressure you put me under
Unchain me from this chamber
And watch me flee…
When will you be set free?

I have dipped my feet in the seven seas.
I have seen great wars between adversaries.
Many mountains I have climbed to overcome atrocities.
The spunk I have is from within.
I am on my life journey of refinement.
Sadness has caught me in the gorge.
I was uplifted by an inner voice.
Hoisted to the peak of joy,
I have wandered to discover what life has in store!
The universe is a space to define.
Crystal ball is rubbed to prophesize.
My itchy feet will not be idled.
I will drop my load of burdens via my travelling.
__________________________________|

I see in your heart I see Inside your Soul
I feel the feelings only you can see or know
I feel your pain from deep down inside
And know the hurt and feelings combined
Your an Amazing,Sweetheart this you should know
Don't let anyone take that from deep inside your Soul
The hurt you feel the anguish deep down inside
will only go away if you learn to let go and cry
The release is so great and healing. Refreshing I would say
That your heart will grow warmer and warmer each day
The Love you have inside shows in your outer glow
So let that glow reach deep down to where it needs to go
You are Beautiful on the inside and out dont let anyone
ever make you dought. Take control and let your inner
light glow.. Come on girl let's give them a beautiful show
Don't lighten your glow for anyone you know let it shine
and always abound..
Just know this to me you are one of the most Beautiful Souls
One of the most precious I have ever encountered on this earth
Although our friendship is beginning to bloom in leaps and bounds
I feel in my heart there is plenty of room for it still to grow
You are the most open, welcoming, sweetheart of a girl that I know
It feels like our friendship has been around forever your already in my soul
I Love you more than words could ever express I'll always be here
to help with any and all Stress or obstacles you go through
So know in me a True friend you have found one that promises to
NEVER let you down!!!!
Written By: Christina Kirks McCullouch
03/17/2013

I Want to Walk with You
I want to walk with you with our heads held high
Never cowering, never with heads bowed
With our feet on this blessed soil, and our dreams reaching for the sky
Dreams of simple joys and of peace and of mirth
For all our fellow travelers on this delightful earth
Dreams not of wealth or of positions of high standing or of mighty power
Simple dreams of a walk in the aftermath of a Johannesburg evening rain-shower
Dreams of bread and water and dignity and shelter and clothes for all
Dreams where all fellow travelers may together walk this earth proud and tall
I want to walk with you, my fellow traveler, with our heads held high
Never pandering to power, never silent in the face of its abuse
Always firm in our convictions that we can all make peace if we only try
If we try to stop and think and sometimes not to look the other way
If we practice what our different creeds really teach, we will surely see that day
When we all, fellow travelers may walk with our heads held high
Never cowering, never with our heads bowed
With our feet on this blessed soil, and our collective dreams reaching for the sky
Call me silly, call me naive, call me hopeless, and if you must, call me weak
But is this not the common good that our different creeds and cultures all seek?

Concrete Steps
Concrete steps took the old woman with her cane
The last hours fell on her sidewalk awkward gait
There is nothing like a walk to town
Flowing rain, following shadows down
Buildings changing into complex shapes in fading light
We were sad to see her go, though
It was not her nature to be held back
Along the narrow closing road
She took alley ways far from the shops
They were closed
Everyone knew that
One foot was bad, the other slow from lost grace and age
None of that mattered, in her travels, and who had time for facts
She headed in her own circles by cane and foot
Which took direction to, no special place or path
There was no reason to go out at this late hour
And the city is too far from home
If she finds her way back unharmed we will be happy
Her shoes are waiting here, where she had left them
There is always the concern for broken glass
Concrete steps must be measured on the path
When walking with naked feet along the street

Within Me
Flowing through the rivulets of my everyday thoughts,
memories of you surface, gasping for air, breathing in,
permeating, absorbed by the pores of my ageing skin.
Famished, greedily gulping mouthfuls of fractured life,
awash in distant yesteryear, when your feathery kisses,
banished the vacuum, dispelling my anguish and strife.
You are eternally carved, and embroidered into my soul,
I wash ashore, smashing against the boulders of the now,
seeking solace, begging for absolution with my empty bowl.
The book of fate is sealed shut, the tea-leaves have been read,
nothing remains within me, the burden of smiling has been shed.
Now I am stranded, between dreams and the empty years ahead,
searching for forgiveness, in the miles I have yet to wearily tread.

I remember that day and never looking back
I said goodbye to my family and grabbed my duffel bag
Im off to be a hero just like my grandfather and my dad
Im going to fight for America Im going to become a man
I will make you all proud by protecting all your dreams
Generations of battles war nerve pumping throughout my veins
Familiar echoing war drum beating inside from my angry heart
No sooner than I am deployed the blood shed and death will start
Nothing could prepare me for the violence I would see
I met death with my first kill, and made a deal with inhumanity
My first experience of occupation I fired at every moving car
The rules of engagement were simple kill everything both near and far
Giving candy to little kids all named Michel Jackson, but not to win hearts
But to use them as human shields against the enemy insurgent charge
Women and child seperated from their husbands and father
We were lethal shepherds in armor hurding the lambs into the slaughter
Still to this day when I close my eyes their screams become my ghost
Eight months inside the hole, I lost myself, I lost all of my hope
My dreams become a horror for my nightmares have now over filled
And from my cup and my eyes their blood will be poured and spilled
I look at a tattered picture of my own family back at home
But can not smile or remember or I too will come undone
Numb by design, programmed in fear, and not to feel
Compassion has left me alone, I am cold organic steel
Casualties of war are corpses I ran over in the valleys and the fields
Im a killing machine a 1014 an M16 are the swords that I weild
A modern day holocaust ordered to kill anything posing a threat
But when getting fired upon from a crowd its hard to identify a target
Lock and load Little Elvis once again it's time to kill
Weapons forged against us lay in the terrain and hides in the hills
RPG fires into defending walls as bullets fire screaming past my head
Machine gunners leveled that f@@#ing building while my comrades are laying dead
Adrenalin pumping fuels the plans for my next attack
Hot flashes of steel pierces my skin as shrapnel shreds through my flak
People who were in prayer were no safer from their deaths
Bodies still burning, in pieces, or taking their final breath
Children run through my site with tears inside their innocent stripped eyes
She was no older than ten as she watched her little brother die
Deafened ears fall upon me, blood now is my fate
Hell is abroad in this desolate God forsaken place
Soldiers took trophy pictures of their faces with the dead
Who is the enemy I wonder, this doesn't make any sense
The boy who left home to become a man he never did come back
His soul still wanders the Tigris River lost forever to Combat
For all of my fallen friends, heroes, and families. You are always with me and will see you soon

Passion in D-Major
Feeling, the sensuous brush-
strokes on a canvas,
swirling,
to a symphonic crescendo,
of our shared heartbeats,
fading between the notes,
feeling your soft body entwined
with mine,
your form bathed in my infinite
kisses,
our orchestral desire rising,
conducting a shared fusing of
passion,
... the music echoing ...
over the precipice,
on the brink of dazzling rainbow
hues,
lost in the void,
of an eternal instant,
plunging through the depths of
rhyme,
pleading,
forever pleading,
for a prolonged,
bouquet of shared time.

Illegitimi non carborundum ;-)
...Staggering, my vision cloudy,
I fall to the hard ground.
when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,
and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.
I see myself slipping,
down the abyss to where nothingness exists,
still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,
for my will to stay persists.
I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,
my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.
It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,
I summon the strength from deep within,
I rise, slowly, to face the day,
I refuse to sink,
to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,
to drown,
for I am stronger now,
indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,
I stand, bruised and bloody,
still,
I stand,
I refuse, to sink, to drown,
for they can try, to punish me some more,
but I shall not allow them to grind me down…
;-)

I'm searching for the real me
I'm searching for myself
Am i who i think i am
Or am i someone else
I look into the mirror
And stare into my eyes
The image comes out clear
But it's only a disguise
The frown on my face
Shows off all my pain
And my eyes are only clouds
Letting go of rain
I look to the ground
And all i see are puddles
From every pain and hurt
From every painful struggle
Back into the mirror i look
Back into my eyes i stare
Crying out in pain
Crying in despair
From everything I've been through
And everything I've witnessed
If i was looking for pain and failure
Then there's no doubt i haven't missed it
But then i started thinking
Thinking to myself
It doesn't have to be this way
I could be someone else
So looking at the mirror
Looking at my eyes
I told myself, it's time to change
It's time to change my life
I started taking steps
Towards cleaning up the mess
With support from other people
It was kinda like a test
Leaning towards success
Leaving behind the mess
Was kinda hard for me
But i only gave my best
Gusts of wind come my way
Gusts of wind knock me down
But i get back up, and overcome my day
Because success is where I'm bound
It's been a journey, with many roads taken
And reaching points to almost breaking
But steps to success, are the moves I'm making
One step at a time, is how I'm changing
I look into the mirror
And stare into my eyes
The image comes out clear
Success equals pride
There's a smile on my face
Because i made a choice
To stop being afraid
And start using my voice
The smile on my face
Defeats all my pains
And my eyes are rays of sun
Shining through out the day
I was searching for the real me
I was searching for myself
I wasn't who i thought i was
I was somebody else.

Written April 6, 2014
Pack up your things
Place them into boxes
And load them all into the car
Cause we're headed off in the morning
To sail off with the sunrise
And coast off into the night sky
Over open fields of rye and wheat
Through rain or shine
Snow or sleet we will find
Our way to a new home
We're off on our search for America
As days bleed into weeks
We're peacefully sailing
With the wind on our cheeks
Rest your head, while I sail you can sleep
While I cruise under Pink Moons
You're dreaming to Astral Weeks
They remind us of home
But sound more and more foreign
As the rain keeps on pouring behind us
But the sun continues to shine on the
horizon
As we continue on with our search for
America

Writing a masterpiece
Takes so much effort and thought
My mind’s settling in my comfort zone – feed me with flawless peace
Words seem to escape me…my feelings mean naught
Anger molds me in inside and out…I feel insecure again
Peace barely meets my body
Joy seems to abandon me like an orphan
Faith passed away – it’s buried too far below the debris
Have I lost the race?
Writing a successful book…writing in general
Takes so much confidence and self-control
My mind is stacked up with debt…
Words splinter my tongue – I can’t repair my tarnished soul
Danger is placed in many corners
Happiness is a few blocks away from me
Fearlessness dives into me
Acceptance of who I am – God’s chosen one
Have I won the race?
Have I found His grace?

I think I was an astronaut
Aimed for the stars.
They fill me up;
They refuel my tank.
They enable me to believe,
Telling me to never give up
As they follow me all of my days.
If only we could see the beauty
That they truly are.
They shout out dreams
That we can reach so far.
Climb into the rocket
And liftoff!
On a journey to discover ourselves,
We are taught so much more,
Learning our goals are only a plan away.
Even thought we must return,
I know that I will be back.
I am an astronaut,
And we always reach for the stars.

Mother Teresa been a historical,
and an important,
and a humble figure,
as she had dedicated her life for the poor and the needy indeed,
the best tribute one can give her is by quoting a single quote of her,
out of the many though,
the one mentioned below seems to be more precise,
in today’s world,
“Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given”
Today,
in the rush of acquiring money,
many have forgotten this lovely aspect,
the aspect of love,
which is much greater than money,
and had crossed a number of boundaries,
from times immemorial,
today jealousy, selfishness, greed have taken over love,
wherein money is not that great,
than love itself,
as love is like a ‘Can’,
which can be filled from the top to the bottom,
unlike money,
which needs to be filled from the bottom instead,
love is greater than money indeed,
as we do love our Gods,
our wives,
the children,
whether they be ours,
or of others,
without distinguishing between their caste, creed, colour,
Love is indeed greater,
as we love the newborns born into this world,
our friends ,
wherein love can also help us to defeat our enemies too,
without love,
no one can progress on,
and neither the countries too,
Therefore love is greater than money indeed!!
'Quote and Author':-
“Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given”- Author: 'Mother Teresa'

Oh, keep the window open wide
and let me see the world outside
my body's caught now, in this room
my mind still yearns despite the gloom
to see, to learn, to watch, explore
what this old world may have in store
for this old man, there's much to know
while legs may fail, the heart still grows
Oh, let my ears hear all the news
the good, the bad, the lies, the truths
the tragedies, the joyous times
when friends pass on and bells do chime
don't hide from me, please let me see
all that there is; all that there'll be
And let me feel, all that remains
the simple pleasures and the pain
don't take from me what I must face
while I still lie here in this place
For this is life; our memories
they're all we take from this journey
the days, the weeks, the months, the years
the smiles, the laughs, the hurts, the tears
I'll hold each one with tender care
as I wait for what comes next, out there
a journey to a place that's new
where I'll go first and wait for you
And all these things that I have seen
the sounds I've heard, where I have been
I'll leave them out where you can see,
the place beyond, where I will be

Moments to Reflect
Voyage
Dream voyagers seek reality with close eyes living within a big lie. Realist sees reality with their eyes open but their minds are closed life to them life is to be sold and not told. Traveling in this kind of world; it is hard for them to find that precious pearl, and it is not hidden, it is in plain sight if your heart is right.
Those who are in Christ know where to go find that precious Pearl that can bring true reality within their world, free to live and to have life without any sins. This is how their journey begins; walking in faith and living life right with no fear of the night. Treating others as they want to be treated, love is given without ending; as it is written. Keeping the Comments day and night eyes open to the reality of the Living Word that has been spoken. Placing the Christ first they know where their journey will end; everlasting life their voyage begins.
Those who dream and try to live a lie and those who called themselves realist will travel to and from getting nowhere fast; their voyage will never be done. For what they seek only comes from the One who sets high above upon His golden throne waiting on His children to come home. Everlasting life will be given and treasures that are never ending and this reality is just the beginning voyage to paradise you will be spending; this is what all should be seeking.
What waiting, no one can truly conceive; the wonderful Gift that you will receive if you chose only to believe. Faith is all need so get down on your knees and ask for forgiveness and let Jesus drive while you ride.
There is only going to be one last journey all will take, a trip to paradise or to that fiery lake. The voyage that is called life is going to end, where are you going to spend what coming to all in the end? Dream voyagers seek reality with close eyes living within a big lie. Realist sees reality with their eyes open but their minds are closed and those that are in Christ know that the real voyage begins when you get down on your knees and ask Jesus to come in. When time comes to an end, dreams are for sleeper and having faith in Jesus will make you a keeper and true life begin and will never end. Up or down where are you bound?

Little girl
With her visions and prayers...
Suffering in silence from endless nightmares.
A broken family
So much responsibility...
Hurting deep inside so other's can't see.
Giant, gentle eyes
Penetrate the soul
The little girl sees more than anyone knows.
Empathic virtues
Create bountiful waves
Breaking these chains the pitiful enslaves
Wide open heart
Locked up and jailed pride
She's able to let go of her anger inside.
Unable to stay
Trapped in time
She knew to go forward, she had to stop 'rewind'
Frozen for a moment
The ice melts away
The sun warms her heart in a motherly way.
Infinite excuses
Become lessons learned
Gratitude is given, and so it is earned
Innocent little girl,
All hope invested in Heaven
Learned the secret of her life before she was 7
Her lesson was hard
Fighting darkness with a match
Finding the spark that ignites with nothing to scratch
But through all the bad
She searched for the good
And finally she found it upon where she stood
So listen to me close
And take this seriously
I know for a fact this is fact...because that little girl... was me.

I‘m so very glad that Jesus lifted me!
And am grateful that he
also set me free!
I’m grateful of the happiness
he brought!
And know that he loves me,
a whole lot!
I’m also thankful, for the life that he brings!
He understands me! And can do anything!
I hope that you’ll take some time today.
Spending time alone with him, and pray!
He rewards those who earnestly
seek him!
Won’t you give him a chance?
And receive him?
This same Jesus,
also wants to help you!
Won’t you open your heart,
and let him touch you?
By Jim Pemberton 08/15/13

For Mother Teresa
to see...
the clarity of beauty between the murky folds of life
to see...
the simple truths of living
between the horror and the endless strike
to see...
the innocent smiles of the children at play
while the elder preach hate and division and continue to slay
to see...
the endless yearning for that simpler better place
away from the hollow emptiness of this ostentatious space
to see...
the open vistas of this pale blue dot
the soft reds and fruity greens as this home is all we have got
to see...
the tears of the dispossessed who have been cruelly cast aside
and while we look the other way from their tears we may never hide
to see...
the endless hunger and despair and killing and greed
in the name of God or of ideology or of some or the other creed
to see...
and to see it all
and still stand tall
to hold on to the humanity
that resides deep within us all
may be our only saving grace
and though all of this sounds quaint and saccharine sweet
I need to remember all that I've said
the next time I look into a teary-eyed desolate face
to see...
that being human is simple if we only look beyond ourselves and see
that we are all one, him and her and them and us and you and me...

Don’t know where I’m going but I’m not where I should be
I’m aware they judge me
Life isn’t as beautiful as they make out so I’m prepared for ugly
If I knew how to be scared I would be
But I had to grow myself
I’d tell the world to suck my, whoa that’s a bit below the belt
I’m not used to things going well
Won’t even ask people I know for help
If I don’t need you won’t be around
Not being mean I’m just putting my feet down
Doing it for myself, to make me proud
Tell Pixie Lott if her and her boyfriend break up I’ll be her rebound
At the age of 15 I was forced to see a therapist
I fancied her and I’m sure she was aware of it
Wearing low cut tops, and jeans with tares and rips
I stopped going and even thought my anger had me ready to explode like a terrorist
I could stay calm with no anger management
I’m comfortable I’m not [panicking
You want to know what’s really damaging.
Is young kids looking up to Kim Kardashian and Helen Flanagan
You should be worried if being like them is your daughter’s target
How can anyone want to be famous for being talentless?
Or maybe that’s what the real challenge is
And I’m just a depressed tortured artist
But if I could go back or make a swap deal
There’s nothing I’d hope to change or not feel
I like how being lost feels
Wow my insanity just got real
But I wouldn’t change for 10 million pounds worth of change
I’d go through the hurt and pain
I’ve had to endure
Have bullies curse my name and make me insecure
I’d date the same girls
Have the same flirts and flings
Wouldn’t change a thing
I’d live in the same world
Wouldn’t take back a single word I’ve said
I’d have the same thoughts
Sleep in the same self-made bed
Walk the same walk
I’d live the same painful life
Go back to where I came from
I’ve said all I need to say
I’m gone

I am a lost person, but I am not alone.
I make choices in my life and I choose to let go.
I need a change of space, and my lyrical notes,
The beauty and the face should fade, but more I want to grow.
The nobility in life is sad, when madness is a nuisance and insanity a fad.
I have some regrets, some I can't forget,
but If I can't forgive myself, then who will forgive my sins?
I'll give it my all, and pray I win.
I'll keep my heart locked and throw away the key,
never let anyone inside, so I can remain free.
Can I question a higher power, or would I be dead,
The scum of the earth, creating poetry that is read,
by the mindless masses, blaming the heart to death,
I hope this will heal me, burning the past,
The beauty in the innocence, never really lasts.
I have a feeling tonight will open my eyes,
and guide me too the light instead of lies.
I'm praying to god that you are how I think you are,
because I need compassion, not just a broken heart.
I don't know why I like you, but you seem to close to part.
Please don't leave me here, surrounded in the dark.

Dedicated to a dear friend.
You needed me and I needed you, but we were never ours to lose.
* * * * * *
I never felt complete.
I knew something was missing, a part of me.
Now I know it was the other halves of my heart and soul,
My love, my kindred spirit.
I never knew how to feel full.
Was never fully happy – not with missing pieces.
Can anyone have three halves?
I do. Myself and two others.
First… my lover, my home, my best friend.
Who stood by me through mistakes and poor decisions.
Who has been nothing but loyal and true.
So what am I to do?
Once you build the foundation you can’t move the castle.
Then… my kindred spirit, my freedom, my bliss.
Who within moments defeated my demons and set me free.
Who has taught me trust like no other ever could.
So what am I to do?
We still have that castle on a cloud.
But we don’t live on a cloud. I feel the earth between my toes.
One other half of my soul lives in a body who is, never was, and never will be mine.
That’s right, I said ‘never’.
‘Never say never’. Why hold on to this hope?
We are such fools. Always have been.
Fools for our other halves.
One ‘other half’ will forever be chained to anybody but me.
The other ‘other half’ is, was and always will be mine.
My heart is for both, in different ways.
Now I am as full as I can be. I have found my halves.
Being happy is not having what you want,
But having what you need,
And wanting what you have.
I am happy...
We asked: ‘how can one live in black and white after seeing in colour?’
I have an answer: ‘because we know what colour looks like...’
We know what to look for, how it feels,
How to see it through the black and white – even turn it into colour.
Remember? How to see.
For some, their other halves are in one body –
Filling both the heart and the soul,
But not for me. I have three halves.
I never knew where my pieces were.
Then I found one. Then the other found me.
Only one can fit my puzzle – yes, halves can only be two.
But why be sad about bliss?
I am happy…
Because I no longer wonder about my pieces.
May not be mine, but they are both safe.
I am happy…

I climb each rocky slippery hill
while their highlands are in sight yet not so near
each step another uplifting thrill
leaving behind fate skepticism and fear
walking harsh empty grounds
or leaning against thick gnarled gum trees
catching near Murray's river sounds
taking a rest on flinders dreaming of a cool breeze
on top of the red colored mountain
I can only imagine the depth of Eyre's lake
a vision of a generous wetting fountain
now my ongoing journey of life is at stake
a fall woke me up from a dream
and air feigned a bush dance at Simpson Desert
sand changing into a stormy stream
with wedged tailed eagles flying like an evil squirt
Strzelecki Track a danger and unknown
but I long for the breathtaking hills in sight
not stepping another wrong stone
I'll follow the signs of sunset's wisdom and light
(c) Elly wouterse
Note: this poem is my summary of a diary of a friend's last journey on his own feet(literally)

These shades of grey all through the night always brings fourth enough light to where your right there in my sight. It's the colors of night, black and white with stars up high producing a forever light, helping to carry me forward with each passing day. For the colors black and white are both hot and cold, neutral too making them equal causing the starry night to turn grey, letting me see you as I'm suppose to. It's like the star afar, the twinkle of a diamond from the sky's of heaven that's so far away making way for our great escape.

Receive and go forth upon a quest
to the north.
A road of discovery leading to a place
for recovery.
This journey shall take time, months
maybe years before you settle your
many fears.
Encountering many beasts on the way,
yet you dare not stray.
The dragon can be slain, hold your sword
and shield up high and do not yield. This
fiery beasts flames are about to cease.
The stench of a troll he shall soon be no
more, you have led him to day break where
he will be set to stone.
Continue on this path countless foes will
step on your toes, but none will stop
you in your tracks. For over yonder
is that place in the north, you've made it!

I thought I could do it,
an all nighter
pouring my heart out
throughout the night
on dis here lonely page,
my eyes got heavy
I fall asleep writing u
this here ..
made up words of mesh
I hope u can see clearly
through this mess..
its may not be perfect
but its filled with
lifes lessons an many love stories
pain will be through the whole thing.
its all true, its everything I've seen, an done
and then some...
I hope you'll. Like what u read
special thanks to
my mom pushed me to write
this whole thing....

do the questions we ask today
become the answers of tomorrow
how do we go from sing and play
to overwhelming sorrow
when certainty is in question
and wisdom and knowledge depart
we live by our own suggestion
and forget our mind and hearts
we stagger through our walk
and blindly refuse to listen
to those who walked before

So another year passes
and everything you
thought you knew
collapses
then you question yourself
why does Everything around
you have to change
when in reality you were the only
one that ever changed
They say
Maturity comes with age
but in your case its you've
reached another crucial stage
it may seem painful and
you may feel insecure
but as time passes
You’ll break free and
Shine as a figure high above
with immeasurable prowess
Who knows she’s beloved

The lonely horseman of old rides down that long,
lonely road.
Kings and Queens lodge and entertain him for the night.
In the morning it is always the same,
the nobility watch him as he rides out through the palace's gates.
This handsome man rides to find his beautiful lady whom he has never
really seen, but this lady is forever haunting his dreams.
For now no false loves will he receive.
Until his search has come to an end, he continues to ride down that long, lonely road.
by S.E. Clark

Every day I will excel,
Where I end up,
Only time will tell,
I hope to succeed in life’s hardest times,
And keep my problems inside these rhymes,
Every missed moment is the shutting of a door,
Luckily I know that will open plenty more,
The chances I’ve gotten in the past,
They don’t tend to stay,
They don’t tend to last,
The future ahead can be very bright,
So much of course I may lose my sight,
But only of course if I stare too long,
I need to take action,
I can’t go about it wrong,
The goal is to focus on the task at hand,
My attitude will not turn bad,
I will take a stand…

A fusion of cells result in a living mass
Of potential and hope, gift from God
Growing, each second life beckons
No identity; yet a spark ignites
It fights to survive, to thrive, stay alive
A stream of red feeds, nourishes, flourishes
Growing stronger feeling claustrophobic
It knows it, trying to close it, failing to expose it
Rushing emotions, tied down by contortions
Air around blows life abound
Inside that cave of comfort and devotion
Motion beckons; movement stirs
Realisation of existing, participating
Intellect stirs, tuition from body, mind and soul
Curiosity grows, bestows a fresh outlook on surroundings
Sounds abound, patterns evolving, language astounding
Throbbing of life, almost complete
Just starting out, life awaits what to give?
The journey, almost complete
Let’s wait and see for new breath to comfort and soothe…

Taken for granted
Everyday gone
Holding you back
Can’t be what you want
Now you’ve given up
You’ve broken free
You see everything differently
You have a choice, got make up your mind
Got no tape to stop and rewind
You’ve walked up to the final step
Pressure ain’t over,
Can’t make a mistake
Show it to the world
Show who’s in control
Let them know who you are
Show that you will fight it off
Tell them-
This is 7th heaven
This is ultimatum
This is your spotlight
This is where you shine bright
This is what it comes down to
Letting the future take you
Anywhere it wants to
This is your last chance
Your final call to freedom
Time to open up a door
See what is in store
Spread your wings and fly-y
Holding your head up high
Not backing down, not asking why
This is 7th heaven
You’ve come a long way now, can’t back down
You’ve got the world in the palm of your hands
You control it all, the final choice maker
You have what it takes, you got what it needs
All you have to do, is show it to the world
Let them know who you are, let them know where you are
Because you’ve reached the top:
This is 7th heaven
This is ultimatum
This is your spotlight
This is where you shine bright
This is what it comes down to
Letting the future take you
Anywhere it wants to
This is your last chance
Your final call to freedom
Time to open up a door
See what is in store
Spread your wings and fly-y
Holding your head up high
Not backing down, not asking why
This is 7th heaven
Everybody knows, everybody sees
That you are getting off your knees
Everybody talks, everybody thinks,
How in the world did you win?
So tell them:
I’m in 7th heaven
I’ve reached ultimatum
I’m in the spotlight
I’m shining oh-so bright
This is my last chance
My final call to freedom
I’m opening a door
Seeing what the future holds
I spread my wings and fly-y
Holding my head up high
Not letting anything bring me down
As I’m here, not on the ground
This is my time to shine,
My ultimatum…
This is 7th heaven.

How John Mayer helped end and save my marriage.. S.Hudson
Our love can be summed up in a playlist of John Mayer songs,
A myriad of one liners and chorus’ overlaying the template of life,
Our “heart break warfare” led to a horrible affair,
She and another took solace in a shared love for John Mayer,
They dreamed together with “Half of my heart” playing in the distance,
“Showing me another way” ,
But a dream is all it could be, and a dream is all it was,
The “Gravity” of the situation realized,
And a husband missing all of his heart.
Two worlds pulling at the hem,
“Pain throws your heart to the ground, Love turns the whole thing around,”
It is said, we have lived together through both my wife,
And I don’t know, “If I trust myself with loving you”,
But, “I’m not the man I used to be lately”
And here we are now,
Trying to recapture this “Home life” John muses of.
“I’d love to walk where we both can talk”, I’d love to give you my all,
“Oh it’s taking so long, I could be wrong, I could be ready, Oh but if I take my hearts advice,
I should assume it’s still unsteady, I am in repair, I am in repair,”
For know we stand with our heart in the others hand, fragile, unsteady, unsure,
But oh so willing.
All I know Rhonda is, “There ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone”
“My girl she ain’t the one that I saw comin,” I “love who ya love, who ya love”
That’s YOU!
I thank you John Mayer for giving us the words and the playlists for
This roller coaster of emotion, heartbreak, passion, romance and desire,
That has been our Story line.
Keep em coming, because we still have a lifetime of Romancing and store walks ahead…

As soon as they come; they leave
As soon as I open my eyes; they vanish
The Ghosts of my past fight the angels of my future
Or so I see it
Faith they said, had grown week
So much so that even
Ten shots of elixir felt meek
Or so I believed
Time claimed alchemy
I simply bowed
to whoever showed,
The power to prove wrong in me
It was a long voyage
Horizon seemed like an eternity
The alchemist continued to row
And I continued to bow
‘Look up’ he said
So I did, and so I saw it
My cheeks felt warm
The breeze felt soft
As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw his work
Indeed! He spoke of the truth
Watching the bright golden truth, I stood
Making its way from up above into my room
Drinking the elixir, I smiled
Watching me, he took pride
Twisted are your ways, I said
‘Make me proud’ said he and left.

The woman was worried and very distressful,
she could not swim and her dress was too heavy
- she would sink like an old ship’s anchor.
The man saw her fear and kept paddling
with a grim on his face and a whistle on his lips.
“How was your morning, sir.” Said she.
“It was a most glorious morning, madam,
I see Apollo’s chariot where it always have been
and I hear the waves birthing another Venus,
Neptune blesses me with his kindly touch,
by Jove, what glorious morning!”
She opened her umbrella and smiled wryly
“I didn’t know you are also a poet, my sailor friend.”
“Neither I, Neither I, but I also didn’t know
you would like to spend the rest of your life with me.
That is what brings poetry to my words…”
She smiled and he padded and that is how it ends.

We crested 30 thousand feet as I watched the clouds pass by.
To a full moon sonata,
wrapped up in my mind.
Cotton ball clouds shimmering frosted white of moonlit dazzle to my eyes.
An ocean of rolling cloud tops,
Hover as I pass by.
Off in the distance bright orange and yellow collide,
as flashes of sprites leave the earth,
to a darkened midnight sky.
The awesome inventor of this great scene,
the painted pleasures my eyes have seen.
Makes me wonder on this red eyed flight
How many know such amazing delight.

Why do tears caress your soft face so frequently?
Why is it that when you cry and let out a large scream,
Which resonates from deep in your heart do you feel relief?
Why can you not find the arms of a mother or a lover who can give you the same relief as that scream? Where you born to wonder alone?
A lone being that has given all
Only to find that you have given a little too much and are now left bare.
No-one had requested that you commit to such a feat;
No-one had expected you to give it all
How can you not blame yourself when you find that you have nothing left?
When you find that all has been given and no-one is willing to share?
The cry is God given
When a child cries their protector responds and tries to put right.
The cry is not to be left unattended.
When you become of age however your protectors’ take on different forms,
A mother becomes a lover
And your tears are now for yourself.
Where are your protectors?
You frantically search for them but only find mocking…
You are of age now and your cries will be left unattended.

Vula Amehlo (open your eyes)
"Vula Amehlo"is Zulu for "open your eyes"
Vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
though eyes aren’t needed to behold
the flowing tears of those of us, left out in the cold
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
the time to turn your back is long gone
no time now to pander and no time now to fawn
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
we the people are hungry, angry, and our skin is torn
though we say it loudly, unbowed we are, and not forlorn
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
we may be invisible and tucked away far from you
but we are here, still, waiting for the promise of freedom to come true
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
you see us sometimes, though you avert your gaze
come on now, compatriots, awaken from your complacent daze
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
we are the open wound that festers on your ostentatious display
band-aids won’t do anymore, we are here, and we are here to stay
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
as you roll down your windows and toss us some coins, look in our eyes
we are your slumbering consciences, we are the famished proof of your lies
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
forget us not as you tuck your pretty children in, and turn off the lights
we too are the children whose mothers, fathers fought for all our peoples’ rights
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
don’t think that we are bitter and livid for no reason or cause
we have been waiting and waiting, for days and a decade, without any pause
vula amehlo
sisters and brothers
vula amehlo
mothers and fathers
vula amehlo
brown and white and all shades of this rainbow so bright
we repeat what we said, we are not going to melt away into the night
vula amehlo
one and all
our patience is being tested from day to day, year to year
we have listened to your promises and we now demand that you hear
vula amehlo
open your eyes
and see us, and hear us clearly, and hear us today
band-aids won’t do anymore, we are here, and we are here to stay
vula amehlo
open your eyes

(Dedicated to KEVIN SKINNER, TURF (the Human Knot)
and to all other individuals who don't have the means
but have the will)
I am not a horseman, I am not a sailor;
I don't have a penny, I often asked for favor.
I am an amateur who had not traveled far;
My only compass is the Northern Star.
I follow the star, I'm on a journey
Crossing desserts, the swamps, and prairies.
I heard the voices of the unbelieving;
For them the journey is not worth doing.
Lend me a flambeau for my vision is blurred;
I am headed to a place where no one has explored.
As soon as I'm back from my uncertain travel;
I shall bring you the good news and things to marvel.
The sting of ambition has pierced through my bones;
As I carefully picked on the pros and the cons.
For I'd never been as eager or determined than before;
Though the road maybe confronted with a sudden detour.
If the road that I follow may lead to nowhere,
I shall not compromise my dream to blips of despair.
In a dif'rent terrain I hoped not to fail;
I shall conquer the woods and establish my own trail.
The dogs that howled at my guiding star;
Signaling aggression as I heard from afar.
And the darkness that engulfed from here and to there
Could not deter the ambition of a determined traveler.
Date & Time of Writing:
June 19, 2012
2:18 p.m. - 4:05 p.m.

Dominic C Cherry
I feel like time is wasting away
I keep trying
But todays just another day
My mind has escaped and ran free
But that isn’t anything of me
Or is it me
I have changed
But not welcomed my own change
I still can’t figure out what I want
I got you and you’re the only one I need
But I’m not me
I got lost somewhere
Now I’m stuck deep below the surface
Waiting to break free
Just trying to find the right spot
Thrashing through dirt seems too simple
I want to break free through the hardest surface
I want to let loose my mind
I want control, more control
The outcome isn’t just about me
I’m holding myself in
Just breathing, waiting for the chance
To be me
Did I overlook it?
Probably just a worry though
Usually is one
But how can this be right
It can’t be, I must be missing something
Wait! I used to just let everything happen
Now I’m trying to force things again
I need to relax
Take deep breathes and clear my head
But I’m falling so fast
I can’t do this to myself
I couldn’t dare do anything to her
I will not show fear
I will not be ridiculed
I came here to change this place
I didn’t expect it was this bad
But there are more like me
More who want to change
More who will change
And as our idea expands
They will need a leader to step up
I am that leader
The one placed here to change
To change life as we know it
And move toward a new world vision.

A memory coated in blue
Of dire times; a castle of gloom
A basement filled with the buried dead
My throne within, painted in red
My tower gone, I stepped out alone
In to the mist - an attempt to atone
My basement torched, ignited by grief
With monsters dead, I no longer sleep
That kingdom crumbled in youth
The walls I built made enemy of truth
But still I stand, a victim of self
A treasury lost, it was traded for wealth
The silence turned into words
From inner self, out of this world
The mirror’s glass shattered by light
The darkness cleansed, granting me sight
A memory I leave in the past
For what is gone has brought me at last
To a place clear and true
This garden is my kingdom renewed

Sail, oh ship across the seas
Spread all hails and reveries
May your crafted frame drift as waters expand
Not one plank of wood proclaimed on land
Tales of brackish courage shall be told
Excited male minds in search of gold
To the New World soon to be in view
Of land untouched beyond the great old blue
4-7-13

Sometimes you just gotta let yourself be
It is the only way to be free
In this world of emotional oppression
You can be taken to a higher dimension
All this loving, hurting and living
Feels like you are crazy mad tripping
if you feel like you are going to lose it all
Do the unexpected and take the free fall
You might learn something new
A thing or two about you
So don't give up the bad fight
Lose your ability to tell wrong from right
If you have to go at it alone
Take then down and set them alight
Rules are meant to be broken
Kind of sad when they end up breaking you
So don't feel sorry for me
I got tons of time for the birds and the bees
Seems like when your around
Your a thousand meters off the ground
Go crazy, lose you shit
Roll your eyes and have a fit
You will feel much better than the rest
For the rest of your life

In the middle of the forest,
Where the light is at its least,
Where the darkness does abound,
Is where the blazed trail ends.
Until now we've had a guide,
To help us on our way;
But here and now we stand alone,
Where the blazed trail ends.
We cannot take the paths before us,
For they cannot be taken twice.
We must make our own way beyond
Where the blazed trail ends.
The paths before us give us hope
That we too can succeed.
Our new journey has just begun,
Where the blazed trail ends.

Life Corrupted
Innocence vanished
Deceit, Dishonesty, and distrust arise
Perception altered from hardships and struggles
No understanding of how to rise above
Condescension and arrogance all around
Judgement from everywhere
How can there be change without compassion and mercy?

Isolated, closed door, evil stare...
Trying to get out.
How do I get there?
Uncertainty, disgusted, let down in compressed air...
Trying to make sense of it.
How do I get there?
Faithful friends, truthful in what they share...
Trying to absorb their words.
How do I get there?
Pre-trial, revealing devastating news, life seems so unfair...
Trying to stay afloat.
How do I get there?
Bad news confirmed, court room again, filled with lies in thin air...
Trying to keep my babies and myself safe.
How do I get there?
I keep asking; HOW IS LIFE FAIR? HOW IS LIFE FAIR?
Trying to quench and hold onto the Lord's Prayer...
How do I get there?
Alone, depressed, in despair...
Trying for their sake to just be there.
How do I get there?
Faith, counseling, oh how I'm in need of prayer.
Trying not to be hurt.
How do I get there?
Final hearing, I feel let down again...
Trying to get my life back.
How do I get there?
Compassionate new friends, 6 day trip, eager to share...
Trying to heal my heart and wounds.
How do I get there?
New freedom, feeling alive, silly online questionnaire...
Trying to do something fun to find myself again.
How do I get there?
Interesting biography, cute smile, do I take the dare?
Trying to move forward.
How do I get there?
Feeling unattractive, awkward, and out of place, what do I wear?
Trying to stay positive.
How do I get there?
Unwilling to commit, afraid and in disrepair...
Trying to guard my heart.
How do I get there?
Encouraging and empathetic, to my surprise, he has tender loving care...
Trying to remain hopeful and joyous.
How do I get there?
God has sent me an angel, but still, I get that evil stare...
Trying to understand the feelings of my children.
How do I get there?
Everything happens for a reason, even when it seems unfair...
Trying to live up to His expectations.
How do I get there?
written by Michaela Johnson
August 2011

Dried up like a reservoir
In the mid summer heat
The cracks in the ground
Are like
The life lines, upon my face
I have weathered many a storm
As if
I have lived a 100 lifetimes,
Instead of one!
Bare, rough, dirty feet
Shoes are hard to come by,
These days
Unless, I steal them!
But, then I will become a target
Having something new
It will get stolen from me
By some other gang
Or by some cruel and nasty person!
“Bare feet it is!”
“Less problems, this way!”
Feet are made for walking
I will use them
For what
They are made for!
“Now let’s get something to eat, I am starving!”
Loitering around Hungry Jacks and Macca's
Asking people
As they walk out
With their hot, delicious, fresh food
For a gold coin or two
Dumpsters and bins
Look nice, today!
Only half eaten, stuff
A lot of wastage!
“Not the freshest stuff, but hey!”
Make do, with what we have!
The sun is shining today
Not sure where to wash though...
Water is scarce, thank god for public toilets
They sure come in handy!
They say it is fun
And you are lucky to have freedom!
But,
It is a lie we tell ourselves
To remain ignorant
To pretend, we don’t give a damn
But, inside,
We really do!
For you see ,
There are sacrifices
To the choices you make
When you have to live them, out
“Don’t be a fool!”
Life is no fairytale, on the dirty streets of hell!
During the day,
The city lights up
It glitters
As if
It were made out of gold!
It comes alive with people
Rushing here, rushing there, rushing everywhere
Not really knowing, what
They are presently, doing
People reminding me of robots, sheep and zombies
Acting as if they are in control of everything
When in fact, they are not!
"Who knows what is around the corner?"
"What is coming, your way!"
Life is unpredictable,
"Beware!"
“Don’t be mislead by the fakes, around here”
“There is plenty of them!”
Eyes are on you,
Down every alley way
Standing on every corner
Watching you
"You, are in ‘our territory’ now!"
“Hold onto your bags tight!”
For,
I may be lurking behind you
One minute there,
Next minute gone!
It is the nature of the game
As
I snatch and grab your bag
When I see you off guard
Taking your money
Claiming it, as my own
You see,
I need it to survive on!
I'm banking on you, being rich!
I told you
This place is a hell hole
And,
I meant it!
This dark place
Full of shadows and conscious deceit
Will swallow you up
Eating, you alive!
You will lose your way
In its pit of endless darkness
There is no Prince Charming’s, out here!
There is no one to save you
There are only damsels in distress
Like me!
No one
Comes to your aid
When you need it the most
You could diminish and disappear one day
Within a blink of an eye!
Without a hint
Nor trace of you, left behind
No one will see it happen
Because
No one
Opens their mouth up, around here!
So,
Love and appreciate, one another!
Care for yourself and care for others!
Tell your loved ones
'you love them' often
And,
‘Enjoy'
The home, you live in!

I was all of six years old
He was a big boy of 12
I adored him
Showed me how to use a fishing rod
He was my little tin god
I worshipped him
In my teenager years he spoke of love
Wasn’t me he was talking about
I loved him
As we got older the age difference grew less
Looked at me with interest, not just a pest
Can see me at last
Asks me out on a date, first of many
Had a fantastic time, love grows a plenty
Togetherness wow
On our wedding day, both nervous but pleased
From the age of just 6 was all I had dreamed
In love .with love.
The wardrobe mirror reflects every move and more
From tumbled love making , to sleep and snore
Still love him
Parents now, one of each
Teaching them to wait for what’s out of reach
We adore them
27/02.2013
Contest : reflections of love

Holy books says it all
You taught me how to crawl
This will never change
Never ends never fades
Dear God where you are?
Shattered piece of childish dreams
This will never change
Never ends never fades.
I can fight for all my life,
Not broken, not broken inside
Never be so frustrated,
Not going to commit suicide.
Fuc*ing faith will fall,
Mortals will stand tall
Hell and heaven are all the same
Live your life, don't die in vain
Only you and I can make
A better world for tomorrow
Have faith in yourself
And wipe off the tears of sorrow
Make me scream, Make me cry
I'll never fail to try.
This night's has an end
No pain will remain

I am scared this is so new
I have never felt this way
I did not know love till you
I found my soul today
I wonder if it will last
I do not trust my heart
I queastion my past
I fear you will break my world apart
You are not the same
You are sweet and ture
You move me by saying my name
You do not make my world blue
You always know just what to say
You hold me just right
You make me smile everyday
You turn the cloudy skies bright
I have been hurt and broken
I find it hard to turst a man
I want to belive in love unspoken
I just am not sure I can
You do not give up on me
You wait till I am ready to go on
You hold my hand till I see
You will stay till our love is strong

Did you hear my heartbeats like the soldiers, marchin’ on the notable night of March? It was thumpin’ with thunderin’ pride and victory once upon a time!
Can you hear me echo my empathy in your direction or do you misinterpret it as an abhorrent and disgraceful crime?
My heart has been pumped up with glee when I saw you trainin’ by the sweat of your brow…
I didn’t even notice I was committin’ an act of hostility…I’m sorry that I have broke our friendship vow!
Listen up...buddy! I ain’t gonna waste my energy and time on you when you are misbehavin’, strayin’, and insensitively swearin’!
Don’t take anything I say to heart – you understand what I’m sayin’!? You know what I’m sayin’!? My stress level’s high and my hair’s a-grayin’!
I feel superb vibes when I sip my red wine . . . I won’t lie nor will I deny!
I feel it now, coolly crawlin’ up and down my spine – I’m as happy as a grimy swine, destined to die!
I can face my fears in no time . . . hey, young man – you need a helpin’ hand?
Come on, man! Break a leg! It won’t be counted as a crime! D-Do you understand?
You need self-discipline and I need willpower! We need to have patience…we need some reassurance…
I’m about to lose control ‘cause I’m being used as a valueless tool, takin’ as a fool! I’m envious of your endurance and jubilance!
Ch-chilled to the bone…s-sick of feelin’ alone, treadin’ this rocky road o-on my own
When we exchange looks, I sense that your future’s gonna be incredible by the handsome features, affirmativeness, and potency you possess – I’m mind-blown! You’ve definably grown
Into a fearless man, acceptin’ the challenges of everyday life ever since I first known yah! I sh-should have known…I should’ve known you grown up so fast!
I know you had a troublesome past…dismiss those adversaries of the past for once in your life! I’m tryin’ to keep pace with you, but you’re runnin’ awfully fast ‘n I’m slowin’ down at last!
I did it my way – can you survive the breakage just like I did or can you just let go of revenge and gain back your zealous mentality?
And remember…please remember, brother – in the realm of reality’s truth:
You are never alone . . . even if you’re gone, you are not gonna remain alone!
And when time comes, you’ll be feelin’ higher than a kite, drinkin’ rum . . .
Then…the answers will come to you out of the blue – it will be shown . . . soon, it will be shown
That you are not alone as long as you overcome, good sir . . . unlike some!
6/7/14
*I Did It My Way Contest Poetry Contest sponsored by Shadow Hamilton

A Lady Unknown
I have a photo of my grandmother, she looks so
young and beautiful, her hair glossy, but there
is a paleness about her and a sadness in her eyes,
It is a death has sought her out cast a net of illness
around her, ready to haul its catch and devour her.
I know little about her, where she came from, was
she an angel that found its way to my grandfather´s
heart, one who became human out of love but knew
she could not stay? When I look in the mirror and ask,”
Have I got your eyes? She looks back at me in grief.
I say I know who you are, the lost, daughter of Manus
the one he expelled because he found kindness in
your heart? Her eyes, deep as mystery lakes in May,
look at me in silence, but I do see a flicker of an ironic
smile… or was she the lady of the camellias?
I see tears swell in her eyes, depression grips me
as heart ache of love betrayed, shall I ever know
who she was… this woman who bore five children
and died at 27. It can't be so there must be more,
not only this bleak silence of the untold.

a hollow shell
of tangled synapses
sparked into gradual madness
which drowns out the truths of the day
as the mind reeks of the rotten sad moments
that swirl in the rancid soup of forgotten dreams
dreams that once traced a gentle path of innocence
dreams that reached for pure love’s tender touch
dreams now paralysed but once vivaciously alive
what became of those fresh dreams and hopes
as they lie mustily on dusty bookshelves
torn into shreds by time’s fine scimitar
devoid of the touch of raw passion
when all that remains of love is
a hollow shell

All are we
One half of a soul
Traveling through this life
Once again to be whole
In the heartbeat of another
The rhythm to our rhyme
Long ago, a dance started
Shared again in this time
In their eyes found
Love's light returned
Reflection of the self
Many lessons have been learned
Touch do they deep
Core of all you are
Though separate may you be
No place that far
Feel them can you always
Never far behind
In every breath, every moment
Always on your mind
Find can we many
Ways to block our path
Defined by perceptions
Risk not ego's wrath
Short is our time
In this world spent
Return to your purpose
For which here, you were sent
Follow your passion
Once again, be free
Others opinions matter not
For, your truth cannot they see
Close your eyes, feel the rhythm
Continue does the dance
Love awaits the souls
Willing to take the chance

Watching you clean our pool
On a hot, summers day
Admiring your muscular, tanned body
Your butt looks cute in those shorts!
Strutting around, like your king of the castle
While, I slip into my new, red bikini
Rubbing coconut oil, into my skin
Putting my long, blonde hair loosely in a bun
Leaving a few strands loose
One last twirl, in the mirror
Before walking down stairs
Taking a closer look, at this fine, male specimen!
“Mmmm”
You look even yummier, close up!
Your shirt wide open, baring your manly chest
A big smile, as you greet me “Hello”
Delighted to see me
Your full package, clearly showing!
Untying my bikini top
My full bosoms, on display
A flirtatious smile, your eyes, widening
I dive in the pool, inviting you in
Be carefree, be spontaneous
You only get to live once!

What will be
Will be!
I know of this, first hand
Your life was taken away
So abruptly!
I will
Never forget
That day!
Till the day
My body dies
And
I am with you, again!
“How was I to prepare myself?”
With
That kind of
Life changing, event!
You
Didn't warn me
You
Were permanently leaving!
I hope
You know
How much “I love you”
Know
You will never be forgotten!
I don’t know
What
Has got into me!
Consciously
I feel you
Inside me
I see images
Of your face
So clearly!
Am I crazy
To believe in this, my love?
“Are you still with me?”
“Is my imagination
Playing cruel tricks
Running rampant
As
I talk with you
As if
You were by my side, right now
In my heart and mind
Your face etched
Imprinted
Like a blue print
That never fades
Your foot prints
Still remain, beside me
My heart beats
Eternally
Trying to make sense of everything!
Forgive me, my love
For being so strong in my feeling
For it has been a long time
Since I lost you, my friend
Something
I haven’t
Quite
Got over!
My heart
Having
A mind of its own
Aching
To be with you, still!
To see you
To smell you
To touch you
To taste you
One
Last time!
I want to say “Goodbye”
Once and for all!
As
We have
Brought out
The best and worst
In each other
Rivers run deep
When it comes to you and me!
We have had our fair share of fights and arguments
Stubborn disagreements
All of them
Meaningless
Now
You cease to exist!
I miss your lingering touches
Your hand, stroking my face
Your big, blue eyes
Looking into mine
Your warm lips
Your rough, unshaven face
The way you
Passionately
Kiss me
While
We make love, till dawn
I miss
All those nights
You kept me
Safe and warm!
I miss
Your
Loving embrace
I miss
Your
Reassurance!
“Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?”
Just
As
I felt
In your arms, my love?
How
Do I let you go?
How
Do I set myself, free?
I am ready
To love, again!
With
‘Our eternal love’
Supporting
And
Guiding me
Especially
In times, like these!

Peel of my layers
One after the other
See my core
Become gentler
For you, it might be a pretty game
To me, it’s a mystery untamed
Drenched in the pool of my own sweat
I don’t let slip in the regret
The paths I choose
Will see the answers be met
I finally drop the noose
Around my neck
The voices are no more a blur
The faces are no more a haze
I am turning over
To a silent page
As the only thing matters now
Is to let nothing ever matter again

Today You're Getting Married
And There's Something I'd like to Say
Remember this Day Forever
And the Vows You Make Today
There Will Be Lots of Happy Times
And a Few That Make You Sad
But Always Be a Team
And Things Won't Be Too Bad
Always Take Time to Listen
And Remember the Love You Share
It's the Two of You Against the World
For Each Other...Always Be There
And the Times You Disagree...
Always Be Willing to Bend
You Don't Have to Break
Just Be like a Tree in the Wind
That's All I Have to Say
Except I Wish You Both the Best
And I Won't Worry about You
When They Lay Me down to Rest
Connie Moore
Feb. 6, 1993

"Jealousy is just insecurity masked."
~Serena Mott
"If you use your words as a weapon, then as a weapon, I'll shed no tears."
~"Words as a Weapon" Birdy
"You play on every weakness that you see in me."
~Unknown
"It's a disgrace. I was misplaced. Born in the wrong time and in the wrong place."
~"Her Last Words" Courtney Parker
"She feels more alive in her own dreams."
~"Another Empty Bottle" Katy McCallister
"We do not make peace. We create justice and peace follows."
~Serena Mott
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."
~Khaliln Gibran
"Pain is the only thing telling me that I am still alive."
~Serena Mott
"The arrogance of men comes from the belief that we are in control of anything of consequence."
~Unknown
"Some of us sail without trouble; some have to live with the scars."
~"Circle of Life" Elton John
"I find it funny how a smile can hide a broken heart and the masking of your feelings is a secret art."
~"Stolen Innocence" Courtney Parker
"I find it amazing how the littlest things have the ability to either inspire hope or crush what little we had left."
~Serena Mott
"Waking up just brings me down."
~"Lovesick Fool" The Cab
"Control is but an illusion."
~Serena Mott
"Live. Die. Repeat."
~Unknown
"What if I had your heart? What if you wore my scars."
~"What If" Five for Fighting
"I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know."
~"The Lonely" Christina Perri
"Can't escape the storm inside of me."
~"Frozen" Elsa
"God knows what is hiding in this world of little consequence. Behind the tears, inside the lies, a thousand slowly dying sunsets."
~"People help the People" Birdy
"For everything that's wrong in life, she looks in the mirror to criticize."
~"Deadly Beauty" Names Without Faces
"You cannot change what is over, but only where you go."
~"Pilgrim" Enya
"I just want to look in the mirror and see someone worthwhile."
~Unknown
"Nothing is ever truly in the past. Similarly, closure does not exist."
~Serena Mott
"We never move on from tragedy. We just learn to live along side it."
~Serena Mott
"Hold onto your words because talk is cheap."
~"Fall for You" Secondhand Serenade
"God sends those we least expect when we are most in need."
~Serena Mott
"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
~Unknown
"The best proof of love is trust."
~Unknown

Tiny seeds germinate
Fresh roots sprout
New life is born!
The weeds come for free
As every beautiful rose
Has it's thorns!
Growing tall, against all odds
Growing towards the light
Laying our roots deep
Staying strong, yet flexible
We are a tree of life
Or the seed in the ground
We are 'one' of the same!

A long road ahead,
Starting out no one knew where the road lead.
A long road behind,
Is that where I left my mind?
In the middle it does get rough,
Especially for someone like me who isn't tough.
A long way to go before I reach the end,
By the time I get there will I be able to paint with the colors of the wind?
By then will the sky be bluer,
Will the tears be fewer?
Will the flowers smell sweeter,
Will my heart no longer be a bleeder?
Will I know the one I am meant to be with forever,
Will I be a little more clever?
Will I have found the happiness I so desperately seek,
Will the stars finally be within my reach?
Will I look back and see the sad little girl I was,
When I started down this road of dust?
Will she smile and wave to me,
No longer trapped but finally set free?
Will she run to me and throw her tiny arms around my neck,
Will she give my rosy cheek a little peck?
Will she whisper in my ear,
Where I am barely able to hear...
"It was a long and hard journey that's for sure,
But I have been here with you all along and will hold your hand as we walk the path to our bright future.

For Pete Seeger, Huddie ‘Leadbelly’ Ledbetter and Woody Guthrie
it was a long time ago
when you put your words into song
'this machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender' you scribbled on your old guitar
and you wielded that banjo & guitar as weapons,
fiddling out a hail of truth
of solidarity
of angry, vehement calls for peace
you said of Leadbelly, that that Huddie Ledbetter was a helluva man
you sang and spoke through dust clouds and relief lines
you taught us all, to seek out hope wherever we can
and when they tried to call all of you goddamned reds
you sang on ever louder and louder, rattlin' their prejudices as they slept in their plush beds
you rode and you rambled and thumbed your way around
the land that is my land and your land too
for you believed all this earth was shared common ground
and when you sang of overcoming one day
the injustice and pain that you witnessed along the way
they further branded you a commie, a pinko or a nigger-lover or a jew-lover, or an enemy of the state
while your banjo and your guitars continued to surround their blind hate
'this machine kills fascists' you etched on that guitar as well
but they were all deaf, for they could not hear the tolling of the bell
'the bell of freedom
the hammer of justice
the song of love between your brothers and your sisters'
and they knew not that they were the ones who would sizzle in their own bigoted hell
and then came the marches and you were there too
with dr. king in Birmingham and Selma, and you faced their spit, their venomous rage, their clubs and sticks and knives, but you always knew
that your cause was just and that the truth must one day prevail
however long it may take, you never gave up, you sang and you marched and you strummed yourselves, victoriously, into their jail
and then they shot him, they shot Dr. King dead, as they burnt and lynched many more
yet you stood firm, you never wavered, your blood was red after all, and they could not tarnish the truth's core
and so it came to pass, that woody went on his way, to his pastures of plenty up in the sky
and Huddie too, said his last and final goodbye
and you were then one, and you may have felt alone and overwhelmed, by the battles and with all that was wrong
but then you saw that the people were with you
as they had been, all along
and so you continued to fiddle with that old banjo
dragging it through Newport and Calcutta and Dar-es-Salaam
and through countless unknown halls in numberless unknown towns
across this earth, turning, slowly, putting smiles of togetherness, on faces that were once pock-marked with disillusioned frowns
so...
today as I jot down these poorly scribbled words for all of you
for Woody, Huddie, and Pete
I do so in gratitude, for after all the travails that you've been through
I know that you know that this world still has its fair share of hate, and of loss and of injustice and of gloom
but I also know that you know that though all the old flowers may have gone
there always will be, as there always must be,
a fresh flower somewhere, that will quietly bloom.

Pry me essence
Of honey dew melon
Fat back gimme
Mo collard greens
Gimme essence from
Flavas undone
Marmalade too
Of long ivory tusks
That elephants do
From the flight
Of the whip poor will
Till
The next rains flood
Those plains
Talking bout old essence
Encountered
From far and near
Yet never here
To the dried up bones
That bake in the in the Sahara sun
As the mighty Mississippi
Giving life to everyone
Visions from the native
Child tears from fear
And unrest
While there forefathers
Laugh and cry then
Turn over in their graves
As the millions
man woman child
Hordes
March on on and on
Undaunted and forever ..
Wounded
All rights reserved
A.camacho jr.
1996-2015

First rhythm to the beat:
Being honest
Next guest of honour:
Purpose
Following the morning after:
Self-awareness and courage
Break for freedom:
The musician strikes a cord
And echoes the universe it's glorious Love song

The summer that we first met
Is a day I wont forget
Just one look and I knew
You'd be mine my whole life through
Four years later down the line
Is when I joined your heart with mine
I could hardly catch my breath
As down the aisle step by step
I walked closer to the man
A ring on my shaky hand
Searching for which way to go
We joined these two lonely souls
Doing a complete reverse
We made it through better or worse
Never having to give in
As others do time and again
When things start to fall apart
We just look inside our hearts
For the perfect reason why
This relationship will never die

I pause from painting a canvass of opinion, brush strokes colouring a solid red
across the blank faces that warily observe. A compass points to the right (a dead
end) yet with no direction, escorting a stained brain in reverse: an unnatural place to start.
This taste is always freshest in the mouths of the hungry, which are forced to part
from an honest working voice to focus solely on the next meal. Who will stand
up to write THIS IS WRONG on Parliamentary walls to clear blinkered eyes? A hand
can paint and sculpture, but will also make a fist.
A better world is open if we walk on through the mist.

I was classed as a loser now let the story begin
Welcome to the loser that was born to win
Make it out of any storm I’m in
Come out as winner no matter what form I’m in
I’ll go all the way in any tournament
Knock me out, I’ll pick myself off the floor and grin
Have a lot of thoughts so I got a notepad to store them in
Then use poetry to help me fight whatever war I’m in
Winning is my only option
Most say it’s important that you take part
I learnt that sinning isn’t a problem
Because you can’t take spirit or erase heart
I used to run just to finish the race
Then I started to believe I could win the marathon
Heading for first place
I know the road I’m travelling
Never got a card from my family on my birthday
And I found it embarrassing
Some things come in the worst way
But most my childhood was disparaging
Embarrassed but wouldn’t let them see my face red
Bullied at school but was forced to go
I used to believe what they said
I was stupid I know
But I survived it all
Look at me now
I learnt to stand up tall
So they can no longer bring me down
I was lost with no hope
Make it out of any storm I’m in
A few situations should have left me unable to cope
But I know I’m born to win

It takes a wearied man to sing a wearied song
It takes a man troubled by things that have gone wrong
It takes a man afraid that life has passed him by
It takes a man whose anguished soul within him cries.
It takes a man who dares believe there is still hope
It takes a man who tries again when the answer is nope
It takes a man whose failures still silently scream
It takes a man, who though crippled, knows how to dream.
It takes a man broken and ashamed with dismay
It takes a man with vision for a better day
It takes a man who in defeat still shows his face
It takes a man who will hum a new song of grace.

The past is ash, you gotta rise like the phoenix, don’t like it call your mama and ask for a Kleenex. The time is long past due to stop thinkin’ and start doin’, start rootin’ for the man inside and stop all the internal booin’. You sound like everybody else with a story, braggin’ about past glory. What about today? Tomorrow will be today again, are you gonna be your worst enemy or be your best friend? Nobody believes you, you don’t even believe yourself, you need to take that bull*****and put in on the shelf. You can only judge and fix yourself, work on that person, no one else. You need to man up and fill your cup with the nectar that life has to offer. You want to win and be stronger, not lose and be softer. You want the fruit of your labor, to love yourself and your neighbor, to love the fan and the hater, to love what you got cuz you got it and you took it and made it cuz there was no tomorrow or later, only back then, back when, back in the day suffering every which way with your back against the wall that you made with your sorrow and your rage. Do what you do and stop being blue, you need a new blueprint printed out and co-signed by the future you, your future self, the architect and the tenant. You know what you got? A new start and a new shot. A chance to stop being a robot. A new lease on life with no lease payments and at the very least, no leash to stop you from running free in a new lot. Now it’s just you, yourself and the pie in the sky. Become the apple of your own eye, the catcher of your own rye, the ink in your own dye, the voice that will question your feelings inside and shine brightly upon all the lies in your mind. Create your future fate before time flies by and history says it’s too late, these words are your bond and your mind is a clean slate. Carve them out and breathe in each letter, fake it till you’re feeling better. Those who wronged you don’t exist, they are not your enemy, burn that list, of people you think owe you something...no one does, except one person, the hardest to find, and while you’ve been dying and losing your mind, and stressing and flexing on struggle and strife, he was right there in the mirror the whole damn time.

Geek is such a simple word
Through my life I've always heard
By so called family and friends
Who always seemed to break and bend
Me in so many directions
I just wanted their attention
To say I felt inside
But too often stubborn pride
Kept emotions held way down
So I would just wait around
Hearing things about how I
Was so fragile and would cry
When they told me how I need
To loosen up and be free
Take a drink once in a while
But that was no in my style
To use booze for having fun
I'm me, not like everyone
Who think they need to follow
Others, but it leaves them hollow
Acting different than they are
Will not get them very far
Because their real identity
Isn't what is being seen
So I'd rather be a nerd
And have my true self be heard
Even though I'm getting pressure
I will be my own great treasure
Sticking to not doing things
Drugs, alcohol, and smoking
Are three vices I won't do
Seeing what others went through
In my life and I will not
Take away what's in my heart
And keep a promise that I made
Never to make those same mistakes

There’s a moment when, crossing between two streetlamps, a double shadow appears,
arching from your fears, a body projected through years onto cracked concrete.
So, stopping, you watch it split in separate directions, no fixed perfections,
all later corrections point from now dividing as forces pull one into two,
coloured red or blue at different ends of the spectrum, matter is best left some space,
life isn’t a race in the traditional sense, but against the perception of yourself.
Worrying is bad for your health, because as much as television may scream in your ear,
grinding each individual gear, you need not wealth,
but a hand to pick you up and dust you off when you fall,
no problem at all, giving pats on the back, setting the wheels back on the track,
in motion again you walk on from staring at your shadow, standing won’t help you grow.
And I know it says not to walk towards the light, but this time it’s alright,
because looking back won’t help either. As a fighter, neither Rocky nor Rambo,
you face the night ahead, spit to clear your mouth of lead, and strut on son,
because you are only born once, and you only die once,
but it’s what you do between the two that makes you awesome.

It's always nice to call a friend
When life starts drawing to an end
Maybe you should wait a day
Always find much more to say
But should you just forget to phone
You might find that you're all alone
Yet other things I start to find
Many friends have lost their mind
Not that they are off the wall
They all have problems when I call
Some just can't hear
Some aren't well
It's really hard
For me to tell
Some have no mate
A sorry state
Other know they reached their last
All recall
A long lost past
For them each day's a living hell
All's not good
All's not well

The sun lit the sky and I lit a joint,
The mood was gay and so was Dorian Gray!
Then onward to the coast - Te Arai Point -
On that dusty trail down Forestry way.
Halcyon age of substance over style:
A tall "scab" or ten in the tussock grass,
But the gulf wind off Great Barrier Isle
Blew waves to the shore and sand up my arse!
A campfire did blaze the windward chill,
There were tales and ales and excess pleasures
Long into the night till we had our fill -
Rip, shit and bust...and no countermeasures.
Packed up our tents all - hungover and worn,
And hit the Hot Pools the next ragged morn.
------------
Te Arai Point is a beach on the north-east
Coast of New Zealand where some school
Friends and I used to visit. A weekend road
Trip to an oasis of sand, surf, and stars!
A "scab" was a beer.
Dedicated to Brett, Bev, Gray, Ron, Robbie,
And Marie, and any others whose names I
Can't remember.
March 1995

Closing my eyes
Feeling the moment
Listening
No thoughts distracting me
Surrendering
Setting my heart free
Reviewing, learning, growing
Releasing the blame and guilt, I harbour
Releasing the things, I once thought I could change
Recognising good or bad
Right or wrong
A sinner I am not!
My mistakes, my greatest blessings
Living my life
Being human

To all the haters, to all the disbelievers, to all those who doubted me along the way.
This is for you, I stood strong in the face of adversity and saw it through now it's my turn to shine, as I take my place among the stars.
So to all you haters out there, look up at me now as I stand tall and proud as I have overcome adversity despite all the odds.
I alone faced the hardships that were thrown at me, I stumbled and go back not letting me it get me down.
I alone overcame the barriers in my way and hurtled over them with ease, so stand aside all you haters all of you who would stand in my way, Today is my day

For Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
You had a dream
of pastures of peace
where children of all hues mingled like rainbows
they silenced you, but your voice
resounds now in those pastures
not yet of peace
and your dream is still a dream
the dream you dreamt while others slept
you said that you’d been to the mountain-top
and they silenced your voice just then
before your eyes saw that promised land
of pastures of peace where children of all hues mingle like rainbows
now your vision is glimpsed in some pastures
not yet of peace
and yes, they silenced your voice
but your spirit their bullets could never tear apart
your spirit, like your dream
is mingled with the wind in all those pastures
not yet of peace
and until we give life to your dream
those pasture of peace
where children of all hues mingle like rainbows
shall remain simply your dream
so as we remember you today
and pledge that those pastures of peace
are nourished first in each of us
for only then will your dream will take root
and blossom into our shared dream
and the view from the mountain-top,
radiant and bright and full of hope shall seem
where children of all hues mingle like rainbows

Searching
Searching,
in the debris of the past,
scraps of casually discarded emotion.
Searching,
in hastily trashed yesterdays,
an inkling of moments flung away.
Searching,
in heaps of rubbished words,
that tiresome sigh of defeated thought.
Searching,
in the layers of moulted skin
the wilting self that once was true.
Searching,
in the reflections between the ripples,
for the whispered pangs of roaring desire.
Searching,
in the blank eyes streaming endlessly,
an echo of the faintest sigh of new life.
Searching.

I scream, at the top of my lungs
No sound, comes out
Silent, curdling screams
Is, all I have left, now
I wrestle; I fight, with all, my physical might
While, being forced down
By the mighty strength, of many men
The pungent smells of dirt, sweat and grime
Embed, in my senses
Their ghastly hot breathes; making me, want to puke!
Their hands, all over me
Constantly grabbing and groping me
Hollering and cheering each other on
Then, someone punches me
Someone, I cannot see
A large man’s hand, covers my nose and mouth
Muffling my soulful cries, terrifying, my insides!
I can’t breathe, now!
Many heavy handed blows, follow
In a blurry haze
I watch, my scarlet red blood splatter
Upon the snow white sheets, that surround
My sacred blood spilled
My salty tears mixed in with sticky men’s semen
My body, a raging torrent of scorching hot lava
Lulling into a translucent, entranced state
Surrendering, to the primal, animalistic frenzy
The men, taking what they want, anyway they want it
Devouring every morsel left ,of my weak and weary body
My body fighting, for its God given right
To live, now!
My life flashes before my eyes
The sounds around me begin to fade
My eyes glaze over, my body goes limp
My body betraying me, when I need her the most!
Silently, I pray for this is not my will, but their own
“Have mercy upon these souls”
“Please forgive these men, as I do, now
“My love remains with you, heavenly Father”
Blackened tears of jet black mascara
Weave their way down
Through the bloody crevasses, of my black & blued skin
My body used up, a lifeless vessel, totally numb!
My innocence and dignity stripped!
No one, can save me, the worst is done!
Bashed, beaten, worn
I am nothing, no more...

As I awoke this morning the strangest feeling came upon me
The air was thick yet clean
The water surrounding me though murky
Holds clarity of the visions I'm to see
Suddenly unwittingly aware
Yet I don’t want to be
It’s all so bitter sweet
Tangy although a treat
To be a piece of the puzzle so neatly incomplete
Yet the pieces fit so perfectly
Clearly my mind’s eye has been plagued
Yet not blind to the scrutiny in which it’s survived
Charmingly divine is the denial we’ve so cautiously danced around
Yet no elephant roams in home
Lingering is the question I’ve so cautiously avoided
Yet its answer I’ve owned all along
Wants and needs do differ in deed
Yet there personal importance is frowned upon
When standing tall and walking strong…

Awake at Midnight
sleep retreats
into tunnels of dewy thoughts
teasing the worn mind
awake at midnight
dreams recede
into caverns of mist
to brew their hazy potions
awake at midnight
weariness seduces the being
seeking to slip away
thirsting for solace in
the numbness of slumber
awake at midnight
still.

Land Ho! It’s in sight
Illusion, it’s far away
That’s quite the insight.
From the bird above
I find the insight to recite
The feel incites me.
Look closer inside
We are there, we’ve arrived
But where have we gone?
The boat is stagnant
But we are up and about
That’s quite the insight.

For Comrade Chris Hani
(1942 – 1993)
mowed down
by hot lead
your blood flowed
into our African soil
murdered you, yes, they did
silence you, they never will
for your voice
your spirit
speaks to us still

given and shared by many,
valued by the wise.
bound by no one,
except but by power of God.
founded with true mercy and humility,
grounded on faith.
free with no payment,
blessings with no attachment.
proof of the holy spirit:
true works of hope,
through our daily lives,
many are unaware of it's knowledge,
left to claim for the deserving:
lifetime spent seeking.
few are grateful.
missed by so many,
used rightly by just a handful,
you can never take advantage of.
handy in case of emergency.

As we follow life's rules but don't question why
I begin to feel so uneasy inside
We ignore the options we fail to see
But could I follow rules made up by me
I could create and make up my own history
You begin to realise your contradicting mind has a choice
But can you identfy who or what you are fighting for
This overload of thinking can grind you to the bone, deep to the core
Everything comes from inside you
Questioning what's right from wrong
What do you do now?
You can wait and pause... but for how long
So trust in yourself and don't fear what might go wrong.

to be focus,
to conquer all.
no matter what is in the line,
to strive at all times.
to better tha imperfection;
no other solution,
than the one string in your face,
not dependent on being made.
mind set to finish,
not weak with limits.
perfect on just doing you;
not looking on anything,
but what you can do.
craving to take that risk,
for that one chance to go all out.
the measures of a win,
without loosing any of the passion.
no more insecurity of missing,
bottom line is towards the goal.
not giving up what you're made off;
the true test of a star,
without getting burned.

I was born in the nineties
Where my mother used to sing melodies
of her music so sweet to hear
of her voice which stole my fear.
I was born in the nineties
Where my sister used to read fantasies
of her imagination so amusing
that her heart would stop beating.
I was born in the nineties
Where my brother used to play in balconies
his laughter so loud and audible
And his caress makes me comfortable.
I was born in the nineties
Where my father used to tell stories
of his experience with his best-friend
that his smile would have no end.
I was born in the nineties
A time where I watch cartoons and movies
New one's came and all are gone,
Just like life when time is done.

We fell in love when we were young
Thinking our lives have just begun
We thought that marriage was a start
To join both of our lonely hearts
We found a place to call a home
Trying to survive on our own
We always did the best we could
In our run down neighborhood
You would never see a frown
When we wore our hand me downs
Eating bread and peanut butter
Snuggled up close to each other
As we lived from week to week
Odd jobs helped us make ends meet
Giving each other lots of support
In this love that we have fought
Hard for since the day we met
Remembering never to forget
That if you fight and not give in
Both your hearts will always win

Cantata
He stood there on a plateau that only had a tree,
And since he had appeared from nowhere there
Was no a past to be lumbered with.
He sat under the tree mainly because it was
Getting hot and the tree had big thick leaves and
Beside the tree there was a barrel of cold water.
During the day the plateau became shimmering
He saw ponies trotting past like a knitted poncho.
Since he had no past only a fragment of a future
Instinct told him they were going to the green vale
That had grass, shade and a lagoon that reflected
The sky, or was it the other way around?
He sat there tried to visualise future where he didn´t
Exist, but he failed, which made him human.

Every place I have taken you, I had a plan.
Every tear you have cried had a purpose.
Every undertaking through the hurt was Me.
There with you watching you, allowing you to choose the path.
You are here now, with Me.
If it took that for me to be here with you now... You are here.
Remember this moment.
You will fall; fall short.
You will learn.
You will then be able to teach.
You my child will have a story that is heard.
A seed; a seed that seems to be so troubled.
That through me will grow.
Grow into a strong tree, that is rooted.
The blooms will be bright for they are only from turning back to me, the root -connected.
Be still, be strong, be a testament that something so beautiful, so worthy of my love will stand the test of trial.

To Live, to see,
To Dream, and believe
I take a step back
catch my breath.
Hand on my chest,
to feel the heart beat,
glad I still possess.
It's mine forever, possibly.
Is a lost love able,
to take a part of me?
For them to hold on
even if they leave.
That familiar pain,
the past loves made.
The consuming shade.
When love leaves eternally.
My mind clouded
From those thoughts that flow.
Grief slowly crowded
I have been there before.
That consuming heat
flaming from our core.
Just breathe with me
and don't leave inevitably.
Are you so tired
there's no worth to life?
Missing every percent,
every inch of mountain
you struggled to climb.
Believe you are prized
beyond measure of mind.
If you quit now,
you have allowed loss.
Look at me, I am here.
Fighting the cross
willing away fear.
Take this piece
keeping it close.
Chose this forever
your beauty shows.

Beware not,
of what lies ahead.
Beware of,
what you already know.
Be the path.
Do not wander
but seek in oblivion.
Pose yourself the mighty question.
Who am I?
The path.
How so?
You’ll know.
When?
Realize you are no one.
An entity of collective thoughts.
Disguised for decades to come.
Till time ceases the moment
and free you become.
To be a cluster of wisdom.
Created not by wonder.
Non complacent to obscurity.
The candid bereft of self-indulgence halted.
Solace transcends for an interlude with faith.
To commence sound purity.
For eternity.
To arrive, is irrelevant.
To be, is character.
Not to be, is awareness.
And the path unfolds.

Can I sink into your fullness and pretend that I'm whole?
If only I could melt into your sturdy frame,
you could muffle the crying, the screaming,
Or maybe I'd just forget.
Truth be told, my past will forever be a reminder of this current aching,
as sure as the scars on my skin
But maybe you could pretend to love me just now,
telling me you'd never take from me what I've already lost to the lions-
that you won't feast on my vulnerable state of mind,
or conspire as you take into account my fragile,weepy eyes.
The lies and truths merge in my mind,
and I feel that either might relieve me of this uncertainty-
Oh, anything to believe in...

Another ending and a new beginning,
A whole different world filled with surprises.
It feels like the world is spinning,
In which a new challenge arises
A heart, wanted by many
and though the future is unknown,
I will venture into it.
Soldiers march into a battlefield of love.
Their faith tested and broken,
Until a sole victor walks out of the fog,
To claim what is rightfully his

KALEIDOSCOPE
Life's kaleidoscope revolves
Images dazzling bright
Shaped to wonder all
Future in a looking glass.
Patterns of tomorrow change
But sealed by fate forever
Rose tinted to darkest depths
Flicker past the eye.
Look close but never see
Colours all array
Visions shake minds wide
To capture what will be.
Open like a door
Raw truth upon this world
Fortune in our stars
With paths already planned.

We all search for happiness
We enjoy even the thought
We hope for all things of brightness
To join us as along life's road we trod.
Just trying to reach the top
Unknowing exactly what the top is
We work hard as young adults
Just like little honey bees
We gather our goods
Putting them all into our nest.
We journey on along
Hoping we are with our final mate
Even tho somedays are diamonds
And some are stones
Just like Neil Diamond said in his song.
So what is the meaning of it all
As age creeps into our bodies
You get older and yes you become wiser
But you are also much trier now
As age has a way of doing that to you
For it is all a part of the aging picture.
When your mind as well as your body
Finally realizes
That these things you thought were so important
Can't go with you as your final journey you do make
They are left here for someone else to look through
And to complain about what a mess you have made!

Do what you will
Cause you won't win
Body floating in the air
Upon the non existence
Slowly bearing all their sin
All their black stares
Black Hole Sun
Here I come!
Lost in a trance
And mesmerized
Forever once was
Will never be mine
But maybe in time
My smile, once again will shine
And my heart, will chime
Light will shine within my eyes
And my ears will never again hear lies!
Do what you will
Cause you won't win
Here I come
Right around that bend
Speeding high
Speeding low
Dodging your everlasting nasty soul
I still see that light at the end of that HOLE!

Hear, dear, for I lost hope.
It took quite a while before I found the love so long desired. So magnificent yet vulnerable. As last I caught it and never will I let go. But hearken now, my heart grew weary.
I was alone and desperate. No friends to share my skit with, no lover to cuddle and flatter. I walked miles and traveled a far to find the missing piece. When at last all hopes flew, I gave up my last defense. I gave up in love. At my weakest, you found me, surprised as ever. You renewed my spirit and made my veins alive again. The love so magical, too sublime to be true. You made me chuckle in wondrous ways. You see love, you are so perfect that I can no longer believe. Your devotion drowns me that I no longer can breathe. Tell me what spell you've used to crush all of my strongholds. I fancy you more than ever, more than my soul and my dreams. Your scent haunts me day and night; your face is what I seek from time to time. I am so consumed that I can't go on living without you by my side.
Now things have been pretty melancholic. I am troubled by chances of you leaving me. What thorny path will I undertake to find you again? How shattered would I become when I lose the one I love the most? Will you find your way home again? To the sunrise we hoped to witness? To the future we sought to foresee? To my loving arms? If circumstances are still on our favor, will you stay with me? Stay 'til I run out of air to breathe and strength to live?
Hearken my love and lend me peace.

This is the Day She Turns 30
by Lori Maria Walton
This is the day
when she turns thirty
but it is just a day
that nature, in its eternal flow,
acknowledges with a smile at
human constructs,
which are all caged.
This is the day
when she turns thirty,
receives roses, plays with daisies,
hums a secret love song,
gliding with steady wings
in the conference of the birds,
who are all free.
This is the day,
when the mirror looks into a blue, shining ocean
of spectacular eyes and sees
beauty, magic and elegance
making love on the seabed
which is translucent
She rises from the daisies
far above the day
and becomes timeless
she surfs with the minerals under an absolute sky
I see her and I see her beaming
behind a veil of joy

The Craters Of Costa Rica
Welcome Moon, Mars and craters, to your cousin Costa Rica
Mountain walls rise up in orange display, in gravel and red clay
Hug the twisting narrow roads in terror
Clinging to the mountains
Brilliant birds and lizards compliment the wilds there
They scatter at the thunder sound in earthquake orchestration
Volcanoes sound the trumpet of the day
Deep holes punctuate the asphalt windings
People driving straight, inebriated, take no comfort in the hole
Craters occupy the roads
Like Venus, Moon and Mars
There, to be explored, or to avoid, if so inclined
Sober souls are also occupied
The challenge to survive is cumbersome
A friendly reminder of where you are
Ending in a ditch or off a cliff
You might miss a pot hole here and there
They come on subtle like a kiss
Sooner or later they will find you in the dark
And rock you like the craters that they are
Far from home in Costa Rica