And we Expect a Change in our society- Not a wordless wednesday

I am really bamboozled at the mindset of how we the people in india think, I am going to put some comments That I had made on a dear friends blog regarding the episode of #Satyamev-Jayate which is being hosted by Aamir Khan.. With no disrespect to anyone, I just want for people to read what I wrote and do let me know what do you think I have written wrong , considering the Thumbs UP and the Thumbs Down on that particular Comment .. This was on the topic of Female Foeticide AND Please this is not about what replies I got , the post is not about that .. It is just about the reactions to the comment …

FIRST COMMENT

This is a big coincidence , I am about to post on the same but my view is different and I saw a different thing that the show showed.

the episode talked a lot about good things and also showed how hypocrite the people are .. I believe this show will do good and i hope more people see it so good sense prevails

I do think that people need to stop talking of stupid issues and actually work on something which is much more required..
the current trend of man bashing maybe shud take a back seat till such important issues as female death is taken care of and it’s not just the men who are doing it
its women too who are equally responsible in this carnage … out of 140 doctors caught 7 years ago as shown in the clip many are women who are killing a baby for 2 thousand rupees .. shame it is

will post mine too

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Second comment I wrote

I knew this would come .. By male bashing I mean with all the posts and comments i read. Men did this men do this .. and its quiet a lovely pass time these days .. I did not say men who are doing wrong shud not be condemned , Please dont twist the words. Somewhere in many of the cases there is also a WOMEN involved who supports that man to go and beat the woman , that woman can be a mother , a sister tooo..

and THIS IS precisely what i mean it’s so easy to pick the word MAN BASHING and everyone talks of that word , yet I only said maybe take a back seat and more work needs to be done on the issue highlighted in the episode.

I also wrote that many of the doctors were women who are helping doing it .. There are also men like in nawashehar who have done a commendable job so NOT all men are bad and same way not all women are good ..

Like i said there is a women too involved in the atrocity at some stage its not just the man who does it .. as you saw the episode the Doctor whose mother in law actually kicked the baby down the stairs .. It was not a man who forced her.

This program was not about men or women it was about girl foeticide but as we are talking it has become more of how men .. and this is exactly what i mean ..

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Third Comment I wrote

I jsut hope and wish that this episode does not become what generally happens. I really really WISH and want this issue to remain and people focus on the issue of Female Foeticide rather than go on tangents ..

That is what problem we have in india and thats what i mean on useless isssues .. So focus on this issue and lets get together ALL OF US , all the women and men .. all of us and work to eradicate this menance .. Let us all do it and save the next generation of our great nation thats all I want ..

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Fourth Comment I wrote

You tell me why , Why does a mother want a BOY and not a girl, Why does a mother in law want that her daughter in law should have a son only..

I cant answer that question, I dont know why , I can reply on what I WANT or what my family has taught me .. That is what i can vouch for. I can only tell you what my beliefs are or what beliefs i work on ..

To me at the moment the issue is what the program highlighted and Not what it may or might become , thats all i will say.

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Fifth comment.. WHICH IS THE BEST ONE

ok.
Thank you.

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Now What is it that I am supposed to have written wrong, just because I said to forget about useless issues and get together to concentrate on the issue that has been put up, Gets me so many thumbs down, I am not moaning or anything and it does not bother me about the Thumbs down But It just makes me more confident in saying that this is what happens when an issue is brought up, As usual it goes into a tangent which earlier was MAN bashing , oh its all because of the man.. and these days its been given a Fancy name called PATRIARCHY.

I am wondering who are these people who have thought that me saying to “This program was not about men or women it was about girl foeticide but as we are talking it has become more of how men .. and this is exactly what i mean ..” is something wrong. So If we look at the opposite of what i have said That what these people have VOTED FOR. If so then how can we even think of bringing about a change in our nation.

The best part was a Simple reply of “OK. Thank you” gets a Thumbs down.. YOU WITH ME PEOPLE .

I would love to hear your views on this , What do you take from the above reactions to my comments in context to the Thumbs up and thumbs down.. Thumbs down I take as people not agreeing with me and saying I have written something wrong or was it JUST MY FACE against the comment that made them do that , Or was it the fact that I am MALE which made them do that .. I am in a tizzy here and trying to understand what it is ..

I had a similar experience earlier too, where something logical has got nothing but thumbs down because I did not write ITs man’s fault, Man this man that .. Where I wrote I got 20+ thumbs UP’s .. How do we expect to change the society when the people who are thinking like this are in great numbers , I wonder what they do behind closed doors of their house… What they think of their own husband, son, father , brother .. I don’t think things can change if such mentality exists …

SO I WANT TO ASK

1. They are against doing anything against girl Foeticide

2. My Face

3. Me being a male commentator…

4. I did not do any man bashing

5. Or some other hidden agenda.. 🙂

And we the people of our nation think that we can make a difference ..

D.I. You did not answer my question.. ITs not about a man or a women that i am asking .. I asked look at the Thumbs down and up and Tell me about that .. the comment was just to say what i wrote .. its the reaction ..

what have i written wrong is what I wanted to know .. and if i am not wrong then why the thumbs down .. is it my FACE or because I am a MALE or is it because I did not blame MEN

I don’t see anything wrong in your comments… I am amazed why you got a thumbs down… It is certainly not a man vs woman issue… I think the people who do not want to hear the truth or simply want to see one side have given you thumbs down… and If you take my opinion, you should be proud of what you wrote because you have the guts to call spade a spade and that too in the face…

Thank you Jas. YEah and you can imagine these are the people who want a change to happen and this is the change they want he he he 🙂

well i think for some everything is MAN issue , anything that happens is because of the male .. and when they get to say that its all fine .. the situation remains the same but just because they can prove or say its because of a man their job is done .. they dont want to change the situation ..

Glad you posted about it because I rememeber reading the post and was amazed seeing thumbs down and that too so many. In fact I wanted to comment there but decided to let it be.

The only reason that you have got TD is because you wrote what you reallty felt and unfortunately it was against the most fashionable thing i.e. of criticising men and of blaming them for anything & everything.
Yes I have no qualms in saying that it is fashionable to say “Men are the main reason behind every problem in this world and if you do not agree then you should be hanged” it is also fashionable to say “I only want a girl and if you say something else then you are judged by anyone and everyone”. Yes we specialise in supre fast justice; we all are moral judges and give super verdicts, And mind you there is no need to understand the logic or reason behind somebody elses argument. If you do not agree with the general perception then u shud be hanegd or rather Thumbed down!!! Matter finish Chapter closed.

Smita.. i had no other option other then post it , For i spent a lot of time reading what i wrote and thinking logically .. ANd I remember that post too you had given me a thumbs up in that .. Now that was another post i shud have put here I mean the comment i had written there ..

asking a person to discuss it with her husband first and depending on his reaction then decide if he is right or wrong .. Got me more than a dozen DOWN.. what sort of people are these who did that .. what sort of respect do they have for relations ..

yeah fashion is everywhere i guess 🙂

he he he you shud not get any thumbs down here for i dont think i have that option OR do i , I need to check that .. But hopefully only sane people come to this blog 🙂

Well, there is nothing wrong with your comments. I have seen even your earlier comments on this blog on different posts getting the same reaction. Perhaps people are stereotyping you. The problem is that some people expect you to toe the line, anything different even if harmless is sometimes a thumbs down. This is the world of radical views. People do not wish to listen to the rationalists :). Let it go, Bikram. This world comprises all kinds of people.

🙂 Thank you so much. yeah i know i get the same reaction its something in my FACE i think and also not to forget I am male too 🙂 so thats 2 points to press the thumbs down.. without reading what i wrote ..

I know what you are saying, I guess I will think a hundred times before i comment now , as I wont lie and truth people cant digest … especially let me repeat myself Especially if its man and a Man with a face like mine he he he he 🙂

I couldn’t help laughing aloud at the last comment getting thumbs down! Knowing how you feel about such issues, I agree with Rachna. Let it go. Your work in this direction which you are already engaged in in real life will speak for itself one day. Till then, just blog about it here. When we blog we want a dialogue not agreement alone, right? 🙂

I knew you would have a smile. I have let go and i usually ignore them all this time but this time it was something different , I could not figure for the life of me what was it that i had written wrong and How can people be so stupid i will say , dont they understand it.

and Then to go on and say nothing happens .. the reason why it does not happen is because of people like them ,, they are the ones who put all the road blocks .. taking a perfectly good move or idea and breaking it into tons of tangents … 🙂

I dont mind a dialogue at all, I am the last person who will shy away from a discussion and usually i have a lot to say always .. But as i said sometimes there are issues that are for the good of the nation and people…

but ultimately it is a man who does crime.be it rape or female foeticide ..may be mother-in-law of that lady wanted to have a boy child so that what she knows how a life of a girl in a society is… ..series of abuses, compromises, adjustments be it mental or physical throughout a life of a lady make her harsh.hard to judge Psychology behind…or rather i may call such people are Psycho..because mentally stable person can not do such acts.those who do such crimes are not normal beings.

The lady doctors you mentioned i feel were just doing what their patient demand..They do not abort baby without their patient’s will…but then what to do in a society where making money become more a priority need…No one can be a saint in today’s world….we all have flaws…but yes such cases are growing in number.

Read case of Fritzl…such crimes are everywhere in the world.So don’t blame Indian society. Our culture is next to God. But we are getting polluted by western culture.

I being a mother, wife , sister, daughter and most important a woman in a society can understand life of a woman more than a man can. I feel girls are not safe as much as we expect them to be. I teach my boys to respect every gal irrespective to her religion, color, status or anything. Woman is beautiful creation of God. She is holy, save her respect her love her. And world would become most beautiful place to live ever.

ha ha ha ha!!! You mean to say we women do no wrong? And if we are doing anything wrong it is because we are being forced to by circumstance otherwise we are holeir than thou?
Let me digest this & come back!

You may have done no wrong ever….but plz dont speak for others! There r evil ppl out there and this includes women too. Agreed most of the crimes are perpetrated by men but that doesn’t make women any less guilty of the crimes that they commit.

Bikram: You have a direct example of a kind of person who wud definitely give a thumbs down to your comment coz u talk abt gender neutralization.

The lady who spoke about her abortions said she never gave consent for the abortions,her husband used to take her and the doc gave her some injection and the doc aborted the child.Here the patient concern was not taken,just to earn money the docs are aborting.Had the doctor remembers the oath she took,she wouldn’t have done the abortions for just Rs.2000/-.

Hmmm Anonymous.. ok it is a ultimately a Man who does the crime AGREED, Now what , I dont deny it, the problem i have is that how long will we continue saying the same thing , when will all this STOP and we all actually get together to do something ot bring a change.

I am sorry but in the clip it was the Doctor telling ways of getting rid , to the fact she says that baby will be born but will be dead and then you can put them in any grave nearby ..

Our culture is next to god, but that culture was made in those days in those situations.. things have changed, circumstances have changed. so shud that not change a bit …

you are doing a great thing of teaching your kids the right thing and hopefully if we all teach our kids to respect the other human being .. not jsut girls but all human beings ..

I dont say woman is bad or anything , that is not the reason for this post .. the question i had was what have i written wrong.., If i have writtne wrong then is it because I am a male or is it because my Face is not good enough .. THats all I wanted to know ..

Well, like you said – the best one, your simple “OK Thank you” got you thumbs down, wow people do hate you, Bikram – I mean no, seriously, isnt that what it’s boiled down to? I mean there is a serious debate going on,

you give and take, argue and counter-argue, but hey, it’s the ISSUE being discussed that is to be the subject of the matter – When DID YOU become the subject of the matter?
OK thank you – doesnt deal with the issue – why a thumb down?

Simple.,… because a few immature individuals who do not agree with your views are targetting you – SAD… that shows how immature we as people are, in dealing with anything. We love to go on tangents.

Oh, I don’t like his views – let me give him a thumbs down :
Oh, he is a MAN, and obviously a patriarch – a thumbs down, please
Oh, blah blah..

whatever!

End of day, a discussion is a discussion – some solution should come out of it, and not some opinionated “targettisms” is what I feel.

This is what I mean why would anyone hate me , I dont know them personally , they dont know me personally so why should hate come in it .. that is what I dont think right.. But I guess what you are saying is RIGHT I agree to it .. Its my face or its just me …

Anyway such things have not bothered me ever and it just shows how Good or bad those people are who think that way .. I was jsut astonished that they were talking of a change and yet before the change they wanted to have someone to blame ..

After reading your comments, I don’t believe you have written anything wrong – or written anything which directly singles out one gender over the other – as being the problem. Considering the thumbs down you got – suggests to me, it was a classic case of ‘men bashing’ even if you was right not (wrong).

I also have experienced similar ‘men’ bashing on a particular blog, I think it’s the same blog to which you experienced this – I won’t mention the name here, as it’s the people on the blog that indulge in men bashing tactics.

I too made comments – where I don’t believe I was unfair, and the result was a total bashing of my comments by non other than women.

When you experience such bashing, unfairly and totally targeted, it is not easy to let it go. In fact it’s a challenge to continue thinking in a fair manor.

I totally understand you post, I totally understand your comments and I totally understand how you feel.

This is a perfect example of taking disagreements to a personal level. I believe that if one doesn’t agree with the argument, it is perfectly okay to give a counter argument. Thumbs up or down is a lazy way to add to the value of discussion.

Dont worry about Thumbs downs.. You made some valid points there.And if someone doesn’t agree with you, and doesn’t have enough time or weight in their arguments, I would say – Just Ignore…

When I said “This is a perfect example of taking disagreements to a personal level”. I certainly didn’t mean to point at you. I was referring to those who read and dissect each comment – not necessarily in a rational manner.

I would agree with what Puja has said too. Just ignore. You have every right to voice your opinion just as another person has a right to agree or disagree with you based on his/her thought-process and intellect. To each his own, just chant that mantra and move on, Bik!

Have to say though that the Thumbs Down for a simple ‘Ok thank you’ is quite hilarious 😆

Bikram you have not written anything wrong. Actually this shows the sensibility and credibility of the commentors there so you do not need to be worried. It also shows how some people are not ready to see another viewpoint. A discussion is productive only when all the possibilities for a positive change (social change) are given a thought. If someone is closed to a viewpoint it shows a lack of openness to other ideas. And that is a dangerous tendency.

Regarding Patriarchy, it definitely has harmed Indian society. But there is no relevance in going on and on with blaming it for every crime against women. Pointless it is. Every crime has a different motive and every criminal is not powdered or defended by patriarchy.

Patriarchy for a common sensible man is such an old fashioned shirt that can be thrown away in just one move. And most sensible people do not find it hindering their day to day life.

I haven’t read the post that you are referring to. Your comments here are in no way wrong as far as I can understand them. Men Bashing is definitely a fashion these days. There was a time when I used to waste my time arguing on such topics on blogs. But I have come to realize that it leads to nothing but frustration. People just follow blindly what is posted and believe it all to be true. No tolerance for anyone who doesn’t believe in it. I sometimes get scared as to how these posts effect young minds who read them.

I do believe that women and men are equally responsible for female foeticide. Even in the court of law an accomplice is considered a criminal. No excuses to why she stood by and saw someone kill either.

Ha ha!! Really loved reading this post…shows the confused or shud I say stereotyped mindset of ppl….I agree with each and every word that u have said. Although I dunno why did the thank u get thumbs down. 😛

I have always maintained that the woman can be the greatest enemy of another specially daughter, sister, daughter in law, sister in law, hell, even ruin neighbour’s lives with their false rumours.
But the fact remains, friend, that centuries of conditioning makes them view anyone that doesn’t produce male children unlike them, as inferior. The girl even their own is often expected to be a replica of their selves, they suffered when younger, your turn to suffer.
On a simple level, a victim of abuse using their position to abuse others. Since the older women were powerless to handle the ones who bullied them, becoming bullies themselves, in a warped sense of perception is seen as the sole way to survival and securing their positions.
History has ample evidence that women have been exploited time and again for vested interests, to destroy families, society, nations… female infanticide is just another side of the multi sided mirror of exploitation. How do you explain stripping of dalit and tribals, and economically backward women , raping, sex trafficking in normal times not just during riots, partitions, genocide and wars?
There is an old saying in Tamil that is often used as a joke and sometimes to abuse,roughly translates to “Instead of having nothing, have a girl child.”…that’s the attitude that needs to change if we need to change our vile society, it has to come from every member of the family associated with the girl child.
Living in Coimbatore, I see my neighbours, as conservative and patriarchal like in Rajasthan or Haryana. The dismissive attitude starts from the father to the son, the mother either with or against the daughter depending on her own status in the family and the fatalistic acceptance of such abuse starts from childhood and passes on to the next generation.
Can’t wait to get out this stifling place. The so called progressive Southern States has such attitudes, can’t imagine other pockets of India. Sorry for the long, boring post.

And the thumbs down is mostly because you didn’t blame the men or they just didn’t like what you wrote. maybe your canon shot may have something to do with it. 😉
The big comment was for the previous post, ended up in the wrong place.

Big deal…! You expressed your thoughts and beliefs and that’s about it. I guess people interpret things in their own way…according to their own belief systems or perspectives that according to their understanding is right..

as far as your point is concerned I feel..it’s incorrect to generalize by saying..it’s man or woman thing… it’s simply an individual who’s responsible…and we have examples… the man who chewed his wife’s face, and the woman who shoved the cart carrying babies… and there were two journalists again (a man and a woman) who boldly got a sting operation ..in an attempt to stop this…

I’m back again.
I don’t think you said anything wrong. Each of us is entitled to freely express our opinions. In many countries however, I do think culture and society play a huge role in some people’s mindsets. There are certain beliefs and practices that date back generations. The only way change can be implemented is through teaching. Who are we to say one life is greater than the other? Only God, the Creator of life can make that distinction. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks also for linking up to Blog Hop Saturday! I intend to hold a hop the first Saturday of each month. Invite your friends…everyone is welcome! The next hop will be on Sat June 2nd. The Linky time has been extended to allow for friends from afar. Hope you will join us! Just remember to visit others in the Linky too.

THats what i think.. what ever comes up they will want to say its MAN’s fault, they forget that the reason they are sitting and typing a comment or pressing the thumbs down button or whatever is ALSO because they were born AND A MAN HAS A BIG HAND IN THAT TOOO… if it was not for a man they would not be in this world…

What’s right for others need not be right for you..why should you worry about the thumps down? And as far as I see, we are not in a state to pin point the mistake if its men or women..but are badly in need of a solution to stop this! that’s the need of the hour.

I am not sure how I missed this post!! Must tell you it was super fun reading the comments!!

Now coming to your post, how did you manage to get 2 thumbs down for “OK Thank you”.

There are people in the world like Ms.Anonymous above, who would like to believe that men are responsible for all the things wrong in this world! You cannot blame men for all that is wrong and give credit to women for all that is right! It is high time that we understand that good and bad characteristics are not gender based!!!

Thank God you do not have the thumbs up and thumb down feature here else I would be likely to receive a few thumbs down from the man bashing community 😉

Well, like most people mentioned here, just ignore them….often in the blogworld, there are people who may not agree to you…and its fine you know…you and me may not agree to each other and as long as we are civilised about it, it doesnt really matter…everyone has a right to his/her opinion..you expressed yours and thats done…

Sigh. It takes all sorts of people to make a world. It is the best to turn a deaf ear to some of them. On the issue, like some others here have pointed out, I agree that it is about the individual. It could be a man or a woman. Depends on his or her perceptions of right and wrong and how he or she chooses to express them.

Today I was watching star news debate on 6 pm and they were discussing this issue along with the news of some 4 day old girl found in garbage in delhi.there were 3 women panelist long with female anchor and 1 male psychitarist.they all jumped on that male psychiatarist as if he was some anti girl child,poor guy has no words to say.The guy was very liberal..My point is whenever post on feminist blogs ,never expect thumbs up when you blame women

@Kdps: And just who are the feminists? Please understand, feminism is not a copyrighted bastion of a group of self-proclaimed champions of womanhood, lusting after easy popularity and probably the riches that may follow. It is a seriously desperate species that can pull out the craziest of logics to vilify even the humblest of things. If I were to extend a helping hand to a woman who may have fumbled on the footpath, trust these sirens to accuse me of having vested interest, and so on.

@Bikram: I am not aware where you had gone but I believe you have been simply thumbed down, or rather booed down, not because you were speaking against women on a woman’s blog, but because you were daring to speak the truths that challenge the very foundations of their existence. In your post, you have apparently asked the readers to think of the reasons why you were thumbed down, and I am sure you have the answer, but I’d go one step ahead and advise you not to loose your peace over pieces of shit,

@umashankar :- well sir its not the blog in question , its the people who read the comment who are in question. Thank you for that confidence in me. ANd i totally agree with you and yes will take your advice tooo. I am slowly getting there . Thank you for visiting me I am still to hop on to yours sooon ..

I so completely agree with you ! I am sick and tired of people talking and talking about things and not doing anything .
But as they say don’t let the bast**ds get you down 😉 You say what you believe me in..because that is what matters . There will always be atleast one person who wouldnt agree with you..always

I wont let them get me down , for as i said I am very blunt and say things as they are .. the earlier people start seeing it that way .. the faster things will start to change for sure otherwise till then its going ot be the same old as usual …

It makes no difference what another person does, the main thing is that you have added your own view and no matter what we think about it there will always be those that do not like what we have to say, and that can be based on many reasons.

For instance over the time that I have been blogging I too have had similar reactions and a lot is based upon how I look, indeed some ignore me completely, even friends that I have on my Space choose not to reply to anything that I add on their Spaces but this is just human nature.

You see prejudice can play a part in many things even here in WP or anywhere else including our real life away from the computer where we can witness the same kind of ignorance, I am sure that you must have had that too at times, but we have to just be whom we are, continue to add our genuineness and in turn take the ridiculousness with a pinch of salt. It does not matter a jot what someone else sees in a comment that you have added, or a posting that you have put on your Space, as there are individuals that will always add the negative just to be awkward. My advice is to just be yourself and ignore all the BS 😦

Totally understand with what you are saying andro, But I come from a country where we have this NORM to do so. I have a beautiful nation yet its us who have made it so bad. and it because of the hypocracy of people who ar etwo faced. They say something but do the entirely different thing otherwise.

What amazes me is the entire establishment is reacting to AAmir show.Who would want me to believe that only after the show was aired that everyone woke up.
No such crime can take place without connivanve of the police and local administration.

Bikram, the reason why you had thumbs down is because they didn’t have any answers to your questions. they are a group of people who are incredibly immature and lack common sense.

i don’t know which blog you visited, i am writing this comment based on the excerpts from your comments which you have pasted here.

women empowerment is a must and i would love to see more women in administration and in other fields than men for various reasons. but i will definitely not endorse the views of certain individuals who can go to any extent for mere publicity or rather personal gain. they are just abusing print and electronic media.

certain opinions expressed about men in general or rather the language used in some cases on television or even in general are outrageous and if similar statements are used for women then it will trigger a revolution.

YEah the common sense which is not common anymore 🙂
the blog i commented well that is not the issue its the people who read and comment there who are in question …

I think this women empowerment has been taken in tangents in our nation it has been used for more of blame game and some bashing rather than actually doing something for women..
personally i feel the most to made the most of it is the ones who may have not needed it as such .. as the women in rural areas in the far flung remote areas have probably not even heard about it …

This is what happens here. You take a different stand and you are branded the enemy. I completely agree with you Bikram.

I agree that male bashing has to stop, but there are issues like female death, which has more priority than other issues because the life of a little one is at stake. And when such Women Doctors who are supposed to spread awareness about it rather than take part in the crime, I don’t think it i fair to just generalize and say that Men have to change. They have to , Yes, But even The attitude of these women have to change.

And Regarding the second comment, I couldn’t agree more, It is only when people are triggered to act that men get instigated to act violently.