I was recently considering the idea of having a
“girlfriend” purely for emotional reasons. i prefer to name it
“emotional buffer”. My world (or our world) is constantly depressing
or increasingly depressing as we see it, jiving with our aging and it
has deeply affected my emotional responses. The girl-guy partnership
being another example of universal duality is such a good escape or
buffer. But recently I met this reading by sacha chua which awakened
me to what is reality (not matrix-fed). That I am terribly
pre-occupied with my personal life that if I ever I consider an
“outside” attachment, it must put as a second priority. Being sane is
a matter of defining what is “sane-ness” to me. So i define sane-ness
to be my personal happiness and gratification. No attachments. All me.
She is 20. I am 18. She wants to have a PhD at 25 or 26. I can do
better than that.

<laugh> Certainly wouldn’t think of getting into a relationship
only as a buffer; think the world is tons of fun and enjoy living very
much. Perhaps would like to be able to share stories with someone at
the end of the day or come up with clever load-balancing to take
advantage of respective strengths and weaknesses, but do not feel any
need to hide from the world. =) Personally enjoy friendships very
much. Also have realized that have no real time limit for PhD and in
fact may be able to bring more to it with more experience, but
definitely want to earn it before possibly being distracted by
personal life, as hear it is very difficult for women in particular if
they’ve already settled down.