All skin and no shame

...innocence is just an illusion...

Title: Love in the IcePairing: YunJae/JaeHoRating: NC-17Length: ChapteredGenre: Non-AU, mild angst, fluff, romanceDisclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be married here.

Summary: A script for a new mini-series is left in Yunho’s apartment by his manager, and as he reads it, he becomes more and more intrigued. Unbeknownst to him, one of the leads has already been cast, and the contracts signed. When he too is cast in the project after expressing interest in the part, he gets the shock of his life when he arrives for the script reading to be faced with a person from his past. Someone that he has spent years trying to pretend never existed. How will they be able to get through filming this without killing each other? Or worse…AN1: I think I’m on track to finish this at ch23. I’m sorry it’s taken so long. I’ve been flying around and barely been anywhere in fandom. Work is insane as usual and I’m also actually crazy and have started learning Korean and Japanese haha so yay me. I have everything programmed down to the minute :O

AN2: Oh and if you’re a new reader who has never read ICE, I really think you should because I will make a few references to it without actually spelling it out because the assumption is that everyone has read ICE and are familiar with the plot…

Five men sit around the coffee table littered with several empty cups of coffee and a few bottles of sake.

All five pre-occupied.

All five waiting.

The large apartment feels emptier than usual despite their presence, and the emptiness is filled by angry discordant notes coming from the music room. If someone were to listen closely enough, they would be able to make out the incessant tone of multiple messages coming in, not to mention the phone calls that interspersed each message, breaking the annoying chirping sound with an even more annoying ringing.

Joong Ki is miserable, leaning heavily on Ah In, he is flicking through his phone checking messages from concerned family and friends. Despite their proximity, he is careful to keep the screen away from his friend, thankful for the privacy screen cover.

When you said you were working on a secret project, I didn’t think it would be something like this. What are you thinking? I know you’ve heard the rumors.

Are you crazy?

Were you actually naked? With all of them? Is Jung Yunho really…um…

Maybe you should join the army. Maybe all of you should join the army. It would take at least that long to make the public forget this ever happened. I can’t say how you’d be treated in the army after a stunt like that though. I never ever thought I’d see your butt crack on television.

Yoo Ah In? And you? Playing what? Maybe lovers? Lovers? Are you out of your mind? Haven’t you heard the rumors about him? Do you really want people to view you like that? I know it’s a show but the acting in it is a little too good to be false if you know what I mean. You better find a way to get out of this before your reputation is gone completely.

Joong Ki finally scowls, deleting message after message. Defensive at first, his initial half-baked attempts to reply were full of apologies and explanations. As the messages get progressively worse and more explicit, he gets angrier and angrier.

The other four men, preoccupied with their own phones, are startled when the oldest of them all tosses his phone at the vacant seat opposite him, narrowly missing hitting the youngest, eliciting a yelp from the maknae.

Changmin’s baleful glare at almost getting brained by a brand new Samsung Galaxy S4 is ignored.

“Hey!”

“I’m your hyung, show some respect.”

Changmin’s jaw drops, eyes wide as he stares at the normally affable older man. The urge to snap a retort dies when he remembers that this man does not know him as well as the others.

“I’m sorry…hyung.” The words are very polite but the sentiment echoes a little hollowly. “Please do not throw objects in my direction that might endanger my ability to perform in three days hence. I don’t think you’d like a hundred thousand fans screaming for your blood.”

Joong Ki’s eyes narrow slightly, and he turns to Yoochun who is failing to hide a smirk. “Is he speaking Korean?”

“He said don’t throw things at him because he has a Tokyo Dome performance in three days,” Junsu offers helpfully, though he does not look up from his phone. The most poker faced of them all is very obviously annoyed, and it shows on his normally neutral face. “Are all of you getting stupid messages? My mother is telling me that her friends are asking if this is a publicity stunt and my brother is saying that his friends have been pestering him non-stop.”

“My brother just said nice ass,” Yoochun deadpans, causing a couple of snickers. “And you missed out the threat.”

“Do you guys always sit like that?” Ah In interjects, changing the subject as the maknae gets visibly rankled again, gesturing towards the three men plastered together on the ostensibly 3.5 seater couch.

“All five of us can fit on this couch.”

“Move over then,” Ah In instructs, standing up and hauling a surprised Joong Ki along.

A loud protesting groan is heard from Changmin as his hyungs do not move fast enough to get him safely out of harm’s way. Half of Joong Ki’s ass is on his lap and he is stuck fast, pinned to a laughing Yoochun by a grouching Joong Ki.

“You’re heavier than Jaejoong hyung,” Changmin complains, shoving at Joong Ki who cannot actually move anywhere anyway because Ah In has thrown his leg across his thighs, anchoring him in place.

“That’s because this oaf has hit leg on me,” Joong Ki grumbles, trying to shove the man off him.

“Your bone is grinding into my thigh!”

“That’s what she said,” Yoochun chortles, the most amused of the lot.

“Don’t you mean he?”

All five look up, the newcomer surprising them.

Changmin recovers first, giving a mighty big shove now that he has real motivation, finally managing to dislodge Joong Ki enough to extricate himself to greet the man and relieve him of his burden.

The four men watch, slightly bemused at the rather wifely manner of the youngest in his deference to the newly arrived leader, taking the bags of food from him and making short work of clearing the cups and bottles to make way for their supper. No word of complaint from the normally whiny youngest as he unpacks the food Yunho had brought for them, settling himself on the floor as he does.

“Itadakimasu,” he says shortly, to no one in particular, before sticking not one, but two pieces of gyoza into his mouth, not bothering to wait for anyone as he lays dibs on a packet of unagi sushi.

Yunho smiles fondly, ruffling Changmin’s hair, his head tilted towards the music room where the discordant notes have fallen into something vaguely resembling a tune.

“How long as he been in there?”

Junsu moves to join Changmin on the floor, stealing a piece of sushi off the maknae’s plate before procuring his own packet of hitsumabushi. “He went in just after you left. He wasn’t happy that you didn’t let him go with you.”

“I explained why again to him,” Yoochun speaks up too, eyes on the food on the table rather than his hyung. “I think he got it, but I don’t know what goes on in that crazy head of his.”

Yunho’s jaw tenses briefly at the throwaway remark from Jaejoong’s supposed best friend. His attention is still drawn towards the music room, the door slightly ajar and the music coming from it is definitely recognizable now as a melody.

The older three gradually move down towards the table, eyes raking to find food they did not ask for, but as is Yunho’s manner, remembered anyway. All their favorites are there, and they eagerly lay dibs on them, noticing that there are several duplicate meals anyway for some(one) who might need more than his own one meal.

“How much food do you need?” Ah In, somewhat exasperated when the youngest makes a protesting sound when he reaches for a bowl of curry udon.

“Just take that one,” Junsu answers placatingly, ignoring the wrath now directed at him. He digs from another bag and procures a steaming bowl of ramen from Changmin’s favourite store. “I don’t know how you missed this one. Hyung always gets it for you when he buys us supper.”

Changmin smiles blindingly, mouth full of food, nodding happily, not bothering to speak.

“Yunho-yah, are you going to—“ Joong Ki’s question cuts off when he finds the man nowhere in sight. The soft click of a door, muting the music completely catches his attention. “Yah…he needs to eat too — they do. They haven’t eaten since lunch.”

The youngest pauses, eyes darting around the table as he swallows his food. Getting up on his haunches, he collects a couple of untouched packets, checks their contents, and then gets up and leaves.

“Where’s he going?” Ah In asks, mouth full of food, gesturing in Changmin’s direction with his chopsticks.

“Food for them,” Yoochun answers simply.

“Ah,” Joong Ki resumes eating, Changmin joining shortly after.

—

Yunho leans against the door, watching Jaejoong experimenting on the keyboard, singing to himself. His hair is mussed, standing up here and there as if the blond man has run his hands through his hair too many times to count. The piano over to the side is covered with paper and several empty bottles of beer, though as he watches, Jaejoong bends over to reach under the keyboard to take a drag from a bottle of mineral water.

Water runs down his chin as he drinks thirstily, causing Yunho to wet his lips at the sight.

A creatively absorbed Jaejoong is one of the things he misses. He can produce lyrics and music in a short hour and it can be good enough to be reproduced in a studio, or he can take hours perfecting something, and end up not wanting to share it with the world because it is too personal. Yunho has a cd of some of these tunes that were written only for him, practically a lifetime ago.

The music starts up again, matched by the incessant ringing of a discarded phone lying on the floor about equidistant from both Yunho and Jaejoong.

Multiple chirps start up as well, not wanting to be left out, and Yunho finds the source on the piano, the phone vibrating as well as chirping, and in grave danger of vibrating completely off the narrow top of the piano.

It is not Jaejoong’s way to leave his phones so carelessly about, but the man’s focus is on his keyboard and his keyboard alone, practically hunched over the instrument, staring intently down at a piece of paper.

The music stops abruptly, but the silence is still punctuated by random chirping, one phone thankfully silent now.

Jaejoong stares at Yunho through partly swollen eyes from his bouts of crying over the last hour or so.

Yunho pushes away from the door, and takes his phone from his pocket. His heart aches when he sees Jaejoong flinch visibly, eyes now trained on his phone.

On the way, he bends over to pick up Jaejoong’s phone.

“Leave it!” the tone is sharp.

“I’m turning it off.”

Jaejoong watches mutely as Yunho deftly strokes the screen and enters the phone effortlessly before powering it off and pocketing it. He watches Yunho walk past him towards the piano, when the phone there starts to ring.

The leader of TVXQ catches the phone just as it finally dances off the piano, glancing briefly at the screen.

“It’s your mother.”

Jaejoong does not speak, but his eyes grow a little stark.

“It’s almost midnight, Jaejoongie,” Yunho sighs before swiping at the screen, holding a hand out in a calming gesture towards Jaejoong. “Eomeoni? Hello, it’s Yunho.”

Jaejoong’s protest dies in his throat as he watches his boyfriend who smiles immediately at whatever the other person is saying on the phone.

A genuine smile.

“His phone was on vibrate and he was writing some music. You know how he gets.”

He can only hear one side of the conversation, and Jaejoong’s nerves are frayed enough to manifest in his body, not realizing that his hands are clenched so tightly that his knuckles are practically white.

The conversation continues for a couple of minutes, before Yunho ends it. “I’m glad to hear that. After all these years, we all know better than to pay attention to that type of thing. Please send my love and regards to everyone, and please sleep eomeoni. It’s very late!” Yunho glances at Jaejoong who is now wringing his hands, staring back down at his keyboard and he shakes his head at the final request from Jaejoong’s mother. “No, eomeoni. Not tonight. I’ll get him to call you tomorrow ok? Good night.”

Yunho powers off the phone immediately, and the mobile joins its counterpart in his back pocket.

Still holding his own phone in his hand, he sorts through it to find a message.

He sticks the phone underneath Jaejoong’s nose, hiding his wince when the man jerks back away from it so violently he almost topples off the small stool he is sitting on. Yunho catches him, pulling the man into a tight hug immediately, feeling the tension in Jaejoong’s body before he gives in and sinks into him, his face pressed against Yunho’s body, shoulders trembling from the weight of all the words he has read that night.

Words not from his own friends and family, but rather the public reaction to the first episode of their drama.

—

He’s always been a slut.

Yunho’s acting is worse than his singing and that’s saying something. Jaejoong oppa can do better than him.

What the hell is this? My oppa is not gay!

I want to kill those girls and guys. It’s so disgusting. I thought better of you, Kim Jaejoong.

Are YunJae finally coming out? If the comments I’ve read so far are anything to go by, they might get shot in the streets.

It’s refreshing that a drama such as this is coming out from Korea, but aren’t the idols all taking a huge risk to be participating in something so risqué?

Shippers finally get what they want I guess, but is the reality as good as the fiction?

I never thought Jaejoong could be so revolting. They say it’s acting but he looked too good doing it as if he’s done it before. Disgusting.

—

And it went on and on and on. He read for close to half an hour before he could bear no more.

Feeling unable to turn to anyone, he turns inwards into himself, and by extension, his music.

“Did you mean what you said?” Yunho asks quietly, carding his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. He knows the reaction to the first episode has been huge, with their names, the drama’s name and even their characters’ names all trending on several SNS platforms across almost every country that broadcast the show. His eyes find the positives in the reactions, reading the negative reviews as well, but instead of internalizing them, he mentally compartmentalizes them into what he can do to improve. If it’s not fixable and more of a personal attack, he discards the information.

“About what?” Jaejoong’s voice is muffled in Yunho’s teeshirt, refusing to let the man go, inhaling his musky scent, his broken heart healing rapidly with the contact. He knows a lot of the personal attacks he has read are from his “only” fans. It hurts for him to know they can turn on him so easily, and yet, he also knows whatever it is they want from him is merely a projection of their own desires. They do not see him for him. They only see him as they want to see him and when their image of him shatters, the shards are poison to him.

The past three years have made him reliant on their feedback.

On their extremely dubious expressions of love.

But it was the only love he knew and received.

He could not say no to it.

Because if he did.

What is left?

He is aware enough to know he has spent years beholden to them. Believing and feeling that they are the only ones who love him because they gave him what he craved.

Attention and love.

Enabling his own insecurities about himself with exorbitant praise of his physical attributes that pushed him to be more, for fear that if he falls short of his own yardstick for beauty, they will abandon him.

Ramping up the fan service to such a degree that half his fans believe him their lover.

Feeding their delusions to ensure his own insecurities are permanently fed.

And all for what? For them to turn on him the second he does something they do not approve of? For tainting his “Prince Jaejoong” image with a base nature. It was ok when he was base and coy and flirting with his audience, but it becomes disgusting when he does it onscreen in a drama that completely obliterates the line between tasteful and risqué. A drama that insinuated in the first episode that “Hero” will get up for anything that breathes, and down for anything that moves, regardless of gender. So quick to believe him capable of being exactly the person depicted on screen, not even giving him the benefit of the doubt, nor remembering that this is all meant to be just a drama.

All fiction.

Unfortunately, their delusions stem from fiction, and reality has never been important.

And in the middle of it all, Yunho gets dragged into it. He has seen more than a handful of threats against his boyfriend, and it is so reminisce of a time he would rather forget, that the terror that takes hold of him drives him to the bottle once again.

To the bottle and his trusty keyboard.

He has yet to learn how to cope in other ways, he knows he has to change, but he chooses to take baby steps because one mis-step may end him.

“That you can’t see the future. Are you giving up on us?”

Jaejoong pulls back, looking up at Yunho with tears sparkling in his eyes. “I don’t want them to hurt you.”

“I’m not hurt.”

“But you could be.”

“Security is much better now.”

“I’m not joking.”

“Neither am I.”

“Yunho…we can’t. I can’t bear—“ Jaejoong chokes up, shaking his head as a tear spills out.

The younger man cups the other’s face gently, brushing away at the tear with his thumb. “It will be ok,” his voice holds a firmness that comes from the belief that his words are true as. “I know we need to talk but my legs can barely hold me and we’ve got to prepare for the concert tomorrow. Can we go to bed, please?”

Yunho smiles and tugs at his boyfriend’s arms. “Come on, no need for that. I just need to be horizontal.”

“With me on top?” comes the immediate response.

“Is that Hero or Jaejoong talking?”

The singer stands, taking Yunho’s hand, his smirk a little watery but there nonetheless. “For me to know, and you to find out.”

“That’s a dangerous mission.”

“I’m sure both Baek Do Hoon and Jung Yunho are up for it.”

“I’m going with Hero.”

“Good choice. He’s much more exciting.”

“Yeah, he enjoys giving me blue balls,” Yunho mutters good-naturedly, allowing Jaejoong to lead him to the door and out of the music room.

Their fellow drama actors all look up at their exit, noting the smirking older man leading the grinning younger, neither even glancing their way as they head to their bedroom.

“I kinda expected fireworks,” Ah In admits, following the couple until the door shuts on their shared sleeping quarters.

“That’s unkind of you Ah Innie,” Joong Ki retorts, taking a noisy sip of his banana milk drink to punctuate his matter-of-fact words. “Jaejoongie doesn’t equate to drama. That’s the perception of others and it has unfortunately, stuck. He’s a good man and a good friend who would help others before giving a thought to himself.”

Ah In opens his mouth to defend himself, but thinks better of it because what can he say? He is not as close to Jaejoong as the others, and what he has seen does make him think that drama tends to dog Jaejoong, but then again, it may possibly be due to the fact that the man is supposed to be in character as Hero.

This fiction in reality is doing his damn head in.

Or was it the other way round?

—

Yunho lets out a long lusty sigh when his body finds the bed, practically moaning with the pleasure of finally being able to lay in soft, Jaejoong-scented sheets. He turns his head, grabbing the pillow and buries his face in it, inhaling hard and moaning happily once again.

Jaejoong’s cock had already twitched at the first sigh, but by the end of Yunho’s rather pronounced and extended moaning, he is full blown and mildly irritated at the fact because he knows there won’t be any proper relief for him.

“And you say I give you blue balls?”

Yunho drops the pillow, his face losing years to the child-like happiness at something so simple as finding his bed. His gaze is clouded with that simple, innocent pleasure, eyes unseeing even though his face is tilted towards Jaejoong, too wrapped up in the comfort of the bed. “What was that?”

The older man can see the innocence shining in the other’s eyes, and it puts a tiny damper on his burgeoning cock, though not by much because Yunho is still all grown man despite that luminous angelic expression.

“Nothing,” Jaejoong smiles. “Do you want a shower?”

Yunho shakes his head exaggeratedly from side to side like a toddler saying no.

“What about food? I heard your belly growling. Changmin has your gastric medication but I don’t want you to have to actually take them.”

At the mention of food, Yunho’s face changes, sitting up he clutches pathetically at his belly, expression morphing to look playfully pitiful. “I forgot about food. Maybe something light since we’re about to go to bed.”

“Yah, what do I look like?” Jaejoong asks, even as he heads towards the door for his protest was all for show.

“My lover.”

“So fucking cheesy. You’re lucky I love you,” Jaejoong rolls his eyes and leaves the room in search of food.

Yunho smiles, lying back in bed he stares up at the ceiling.

There are several imperfections in the paint and he lifts a hand to trace the lines in mid-air, unconsciously humming the tune from earlier and singing quietly.

His memory when it comes to Jaejoong can be exceedingly vivid, though at times even beyond his own comprehension. He remembers things about the man that he does not have to make a conscious effort to remember. It is as if he simply has to breathe, and he internalizes Jaejoong.

Since he only heard that part of the song, it becomes his brain worm as he waits, alternating between humming and singing, he continues to trace patterns in the ceiling while completely unaware of what he is doing.

“Is it really that catchy?”

Yunho is startled from his drawings in the air, sitting up, hair sticking up a little at the back, giving him an adorably disheveled look that is further compounded by his confused expression.

“What?”

“Nevermind,” Jaejoong laughs. “You’re too cute for your own good. I feel like I should keep you here and hide you from the big bad world.”

“I don’t really want to stay hidden.”

“I know,” Jaejoong nods, settling himself on the bed and placing the tray of re-heated food on the bed in front of him. “When you’re so serious with me, I forget that you’ve got this innocent childish side that makes everyone fall madly in love with you. Or at least to want to coo at you and take you home and feed you or something.”

“Coo and take me home and feed me? Are you sure you’re not confusing me with our Changminnie?”

“Ok, fine. Fall madly in love with you then.”

“Unfortunately for them, I’m only madly in love with one person back.”

“Who says I’m madly in love with you?”

Yunho pouts instantly, making the older man laugh, leaning over to press a quick kiss against his mouth, pulling back before Yunho deepens it.

There they are, two grown men, sitting in bed, playing catch me if you can, the kissing version.

Well, perhaps not quite since Jaejoong has no intention of letting Yunho catch him before the man is fed.

“I’m getting a sore neck,” Yunho pops open an eyelid to peek at Jaejoong.

Jaejoong pushes the younger man gently back and squishes his lips with his fingers. “Later. Eat something first.”

Yunho gives up for the moment, rearranging himself, the couple sit cross-legged on the bed, tray of food between them, talking quietly about nothing monumental, instinctively knowing that the other would prefer to have heavier discussions without the distraction of sustenance.

They take turns to feed each other, not noticing their actions, simply wanting to share their own tasty dish with someone they love. Yunho does it just as much as Jaejoong, both also driven by the need to ensure the other is well-nourished. The leader of TVXQ remembers the early days merely weeks ago where he could practically play a tune on Jaejoong’s ribs. The man is still too slim for his own peace of mind, but he knows it is due to their schedule rather than a lack of food for they share practically every meal. Jaejoong in turn is driven by Yunho’s stomach issues, knowing the other man forgets to eat most days. He does not have to check with Changmin to know the youngest takes damn good care of Yunho when he cannot follow them to practice, but when they are together, he makes sure the leader eats.

Most of Yunho’s beef ramen soup end up in Jaejoong, and most of Jaejoong’s steak bento end up in Yunho, but neither notice of course.

The idols discuss their separate concerns about their own respective concerts, Jaejoong still apprehensive that the PDs want the Tokyo Dome scene to actually occur in Tokyo Dome before Tohoshinki’s concert. They have been given one hour, the concert delayed by half an hour, in order to ensure the numbers are there in the seats, to complete the shoot. It is make or break for Jaejoong because using the Yokohama Arena is not really an option without a great deal of fancy camerawork to obscure the fact that it really was not shot at Tokyo Dome.

That is meant to be a last resort, and in all honesty, Jaejoong would rather it be the first resort.

“Our concert is first so we have to try at least,” Yunho caresses Jaejoong’s hand comfortingly before he lets go to clear away their bowls and cutlery. He does not stop talking as he tidies, placing everything on the tray and getting out of bed. “I’ll be there, every step of the way.”

“Backstage,” Jaejoong huffs mildly.

“I can sit front and centre if that helps you? Tell me what you need me to do and I will do it.”

Tell your fans not to boo at me.

The words are on the tip of his tongue, his insecurities manifesting once again, the cold fingers gripping around his heart, but he fights the urge. He fights the tendrils of uncertainty from gaining a hold and strangling him.

He fights.

And he wins.

For it would be nice to have the love of the fans.

But Jaejoong already has something much better than that.

—

Yunho returns quickly from depositing the tray in the kitchen, noting the lights are all turned out and the apartment is silent, the rest having finally gone to bed for it is long overdue for them all to be abed.

He glances over at the bed, noting that Jaejoong appears to be lost in thought.

Leaving the man to it, he does his nightly ablutions quickly in the bathroom, stripping out of his soup stained teeshirt and jeans, thumbs in the waistband of his boxers, he pauses for a moment before shrugging and pushing those down as well.

“Is it my birthday?”

Yunho yelps, almost toppling head first into the toilet bowl, his feet tangled in his discarded boxers as he whirls around, hands trying to hide his modesty.

“Stop it!” his tone is part imploring, part embarrassed, and part, strangely aroused which is going to be impossible to hide in three…two…

“Oh, hello there,” the lascivious smirk in Jaejoong’s voice has to be heard to be believed.

Yunho does something uncharacteristic just then in the face of danger.

He runs.

Jaejoong’s lilting broken laughter follows the naked man as he makes a dash for the bed, realizing much too late that his clothes are in the closet off the bathroom and not out in the bedroom. Scrunching his nose, a mirror of Jaejoong’s habit, he sighs and lays back in the middle of the bed, stacking his hands behind his head, contemplating the ceiling and willing his damn cock to calm the hell down.

—

The singer’s nightly ablutions take a little longer, though he pauses at the myriad of lotions and creams on the shared counterspace. “His” side is full of pots and bottles, while Yunho’s side merely has a cup that holds two toothbrushes and toothpaste.

Deciding that he does not need his potions and lotions that night, Jaejoong dries his face after his double cleanse, spritzing his face liberally after that with some moisturizing toner, following it with cleaning his teeth.

Butt naked, he is about to leave the bathroom when he catches sight of the ajar closet door, Yunho’s side a little more mussed than his. Uncertain as to the man’s intentions, and knowing that he had driven Yunho from the bathroom prematurely, Jaejoong decides to be and act the hyung, putting on some pajama bottoms himself, and grabbing the matching top and a pair of lounging shorts for Yunho in a material so clingy it would leave nothing to the imagination.

“Hey, at least I’m getting him clothes,” Jaejoong whispers to himself, exiting the bathroom with the clothes in hand.

The room is surprisingly still lit, Yunho lying dead centre on the bed, eyes closed, but Jaejoong knows he is not asleep for he had been watching the man’s chest as he came out, and Yunho has not exhaled.

He tosses the clothes at the man’s face, and grins when Yunho sits up in surprise, then relief, then acute adorableness as he throws the sheets over his head to ostensibly change underneath.

Jaejoong walks around the bedroom, picking up the remnants from the day, putting things away while Yunho dresses himself. He starts at the clock when he sees that it is almost two in the morning, and the fatigue hits him out of the blue, as if knowing the time has unleashed all the tiredness he had been holding at bay.

Suppressing a yawn, he does not warn Yunho before switching off the light.

“Hero.”

“Jaejoong.”

“Uknow.”

“Yunho.”

It is their version of Marco Polo, either of them guiding the other to the bed, their room protected from the outside light by black out curtains that leave the room as dark as pitch.

Jaejoong is welcomed into bed by strong arms and a warm (clothed) body, guided by the man, he eases alongside him, their heads together, sharing his pillow.

“What made you write that song?”

Jaejoong turns inwards, as does Yunho, their arms draped loosely around each other’s hips.

“I needed to get it out. I don’t know if I was angry or sad. I was probably both. That’s all I managed to write though. I have no idea where it’s going. I wouldn’t think about it. It’s probably going nowhere.”

“I like it,” Yunho’s reply is quiet, nuzzling against Jaejoong’s nose. “Life isn’t full of rainbows and flowers and you should be able to write whatever you feel.”

“Even if it makes people think we’re having issues?”

Jaejoong feels rather than sees Yunho shrug. “If you have issues, you can talk to me now, rather than put it in a message of some sort. And besides, everyone has issues.”

“Mine are apparently for public consumption.”

“It comes with the job description. We know this. You can put out or keep in as much as you want. I’m not going to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do. I’ll tell you if I don’t agree, and then we can agree to disagree.”

“You know, it all sounds so very rational and adult, but when both of us are upset and yelling at each other with our dongsaengs crying outside because our fighting scares them, it’s going to be a little hard to agree to disagree at that point.”

“That was a long time ago. I’ve learned that listening is better than yelling.”

Jaejoong leans forward to kiss the tip of Yunho’s nose, his mouth finding his target unerringly despite the absolute darkness. “I’m sorry, I went back to the past again.”

“It’s ok. We’re learning.”

“We certainly are. Four years ago, you’d be fucking me into the bed and—“

Jaejoong’s mouth is covered by a large warm hand before he can finish his rather explicit memory. “Jaejoong…don’t think I didn’t notice the type of shorts you brought out for me. We are doing really well with the talking…please don’t distract me,” Yunho’s tone is quite serious.

Jaejoong pulls Yunho’s hand gently from his mouth, pouting in the darkness. “I’m starting to think I can’t distract you anymore, anyway. We’re going to be one of those asexual couples who do nothing but talk and then go to bed.”

Yunho’s sigh is long suffering, his hand traveling down Jaejoong’s arm from the shoulder to his wrist, grasping gently he guides the man’s hand to his very hard cock.

“You distract me by just existing. Don’t make it harder.”

Jaejoong’s fingers twitch and then curl around the hard length not hidden at all by the flimsy shorts. “Did you use that word on purpose?”

Yunho is alert and awake instantly, the shakiness in Jaejoong’s voice betrays his nervousness.

Instead of answering, he presses a quick kiss somewhere in the vicinity of Jaejoong’s forehead, though he catches his right eye instead, and then rolls away to the bedside table on his side of the bed.

Jaejoong’s initial flutter of panic calms instantly when he hears Yunho groping around for something or other, probably his phone.

True enough, the darkness is suddenly illuminated by a piercing bright light that blinds him.

The singer squeaks in pain, covering his eyes, his ears hearing only a litany of apologies from Yunho who has also blinded himself.

“Wait for your eyes to adjust.”

“What eyes? I think I’m blind for life!”

Yunho laughs, reaching over and pulling the smaller man against him. “I’m sorry, baby. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to show you Jihye’s message which she sent just after the episode finished airing.”

“Was that what you wanted to show me earlier?”

“Yes, I’m sorry I should have warned you first. I know it’s been crazy with everyone commenting about anything and everything they feel entitled to comment on.”

“They even threatened you,” Jaejoong’s voice is tiny, the memory of what initially made him truly upset rearing up again. “I can’t bear it if anything happened to you because of me.”

“We will all be vigilant. I think Changmin would actually commit murder if anyone dared to look at me funny.”

“I’ll help him.”

“Both of you are really bloodthirsty.”

“We just love you that much.”

“I know,” Yunho’s voice is quiet. “And it’s humbling.”

“Remind me to cook him his favorite meal tonight after practice.”

“You’d be cooking for several hours then. There is literally nothing he doesn’t like.”

“I don’t mind.”

“You say that now.”

“Are we done with getting past the angsty moment?”

“I think so. Wanna read the message now?”

“Not really, but I trust your judgment so go for it.”

“Cover your eyes and peek slowly.”

“I’ve been peeking the whole time!”

“Voyeur.”

“Yunho!”

“Ok, ok, here.” Yunho passes over his phone to Jaejoong.

I’m so proud of you, oppa. Your acting is amazing, and it’s beautiful to watch. My heart hurts so much for Jaejoongie oppa though. Please take care of him. Eomma cried at the dinner scene with Hero and his parents. She held appa’s hand the whole time and when it went to a break, she turned to him and made him promise never ever to stop loving and supporting you no matter what. Then she said “and that includes whomever he loves and that’s Jaejoong. Promise me.” And appa promised. You know appa never promises anything without meaning it, and he promised. I heard him and it made me cry more than the drama. I’m so proud of you. Please be strong both of you. We love you.

Jaejoong cries himself to sleep in Yunho’s arms that night.

—

Five eyebrows raise at the couple outfit of…the couple.

Jaejoong’s eyes are hidden by a very large pair of sunglasses as he potters around the kitchen, making a third batch of kimchi fried rice, the first two batches demolished already by five hungry men. This last batch is for him and Yunho who has just wandered out of their bedroom.

Both fringes down under matching beanies, wearing identical black V-neck teeshirts and jeans, the couple seem oblivious to their clothes.

“If you two are trying to announce to the world that you’re really a couple, you’re doing a damn good job,” Joong Ki is the first to speak.

Yunho merely looks at him questioningly, while Jaejoong dishes the food into a portable bento, ignoring Joong Ki completely.

“Come on, we have to eat on the way there. We’re running late.”

“Come on, guys! Move along!”

Changmin rolls his eyes as Yunho hustles them all out.

“Should someone point out that he’s the reason we’re late?” Ah In asks, watching the back of the lead couple as Yunho helps Jaejoong into a bulky black jacket and grabbing his own without wearing it, before leaving the apartment side by side.

“I wouldn’t.”

—

“I gave my sister your number by the way. For your iPhone.”

“That’s the right phone,” Jaejoong smiles in between mouthfuls of rice.

“I know.”

—

“Do they know they look like a real couple?” Yeon Hee asks Changmin, both of them watching Yunho and Jaejoong who have their heads together, perusing an amendment to the script by the headwriter on Jaejoong’s phone.

“They’ve always looked like a couple, even if he’s dressed in black and Jaejoong is dressed in white.”

“Yeah,” Yeon Hee agrees, nodding her head, “but truly, they really look like a couple there. If it weren’t for their jackets, they’d practically be carbon copies of each other.”

“Jaejoong hyung’s about half a foot too short to be a carbon copy.”

“You know what I mean!”

Even from afar, the only heterosexual (unmarried) couple in the drama can see the expressions on both Yunho and Jaejoong’s faces change at the same time.

“Did she change the script that badly?”

“I think we better check,” Changmin hurriedly pulls out his phone to access the Google document.

Hi oppa! Guess what? We’re on the way to the airport. Appa decided to come a day early and enjoy your performance as well at the Dome. Can’t wait to see you! Kiss oppa for me ^^

AN: I think he’s actually only the lyricist for All That Glitters but yeah… :)

ALL THESE EMOTIONS OMG.Yes. I'm one of the fans who want to coo at Yunho, take him home and feed him. And lord I loved all the scenes with Yunho being adorable, oh dear god that man is seriously the most adorable human being ever.

One of the reasons I love this story is because of realistic it feels, and lord those fanreactions... ._.

I wanna squish Yunho. I'd say poor Jaejoong but then again he is having fun teasing Yunho.

Seriously though, it's good that they are approaching both their relationship and their situation in a more mature manner. Jaejoong will be better in the future as more and more of the sources of his insecurities are addressed. Yunho's family has always been one of his biggest.

P.S. Changdol-ah! So adorable of a maknae. *squishes* I like evil but protective maknae. :)

P.P.S. I hope you and your family are well! It's been a long time since you've posted anything here and on twitter.

OMY i really miss you and YJ family! I really must thank your muse for this update :)How is it possible for me to just pick up the story without reading previous chapters is beyond me. Somehow this fic is just in this secret compartment of my brain & it just comes out teasing me from time to time LOL!

So much feelings! On the one hand I want to capture Yunho and cuddle with him and never give him to Jaejoong cause he is so cute and on the other hand I want to hug Jaejoong and tell him everything will be okay from now on and throw him Yunho's arms. I am in dilemma!

Oh my goodness, Yunho's innocent side is so adorable YES and I want to protect them both from the world tbh. Those comments... just thinking about all the hate they'd have to deal with if they really came out breaks my heart *sigh* but back to your fic. It's good to see yunjae communicating and understanding each other's present selves, moving on from the past. They're so cute acting like a couple (unintentionally?) lol well they are a couple after all ;) but I wonder if they realized how similarly they were dressed hahaha. And I'm so happy Yunho's family will support them now, can't wait to see how they interact at the concert. I'm always so happy to see your updates xD thanks for sharing!😘

Also these two feeding each other unconsciously was so sweet<3 just like they've always done aww

Every update always makes me feel... This is definitely a fic that I want to reread but don't want to because I know it's so sad. It's so realistic. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not real. Don't know if that is better or worse though.I can't wait to read more about this clueless couple.

I was so excited when I saw you'd updated, but I put my phone totally aside to talk to my husband at dinner so I wouldn't be tempted.

I was very interested in the fan reactions to the drama. I wonder if the reactions will become kinder as the drama goes on. And if the ratings will be good.

I'm glad they are talking and communicating. It seems to be working.

Has my favorite scene with Do Hoon's mother chasing Hero down the driveway and getting him to breathe during his panic attack already been filmed? How about Hero's press conference? Or the scene on the team bus? Will LITI take us through the completion of the drama? (Can you tell I'm already sad at the thought there are only two more chapters?)