Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Space Cadet

Urgh... What a crappy few days, if you don’t mind me saying. I have not been my usual upbeat self because, to put it simply, I have not had the energy. It turns out I have a viral infection (again). After days of awful nights praying for sleep, a mysterious rash appeared on my face and neck quickly spreading to my legs. The rash wasn’t alarming, but that combined with an awful metallic taste in my mouth left me wondering what the hell could be wrong now.

Exhaustion set in over the weekend. I was supposed to be visiting friends and the boy up north for a couple of days, but I couldn’t muster up the energy to get out of bed let alone sit on a train for a few hours. So instead, the boy came to visit me. I am ashamed to say I can’t have been much company. I deal with illness much better now than I used to. I still manage to keep a smile on my face and try not to wallow but I didn’t have much energy to be out and about doing things. I often worry what type of company I truly am after nights of disturbed sleep and feeling generally like death. But surely anyone who is ill feels the same. Simple coughs and colds keep most of us wrapped up in bed wanting nothing more than the TV and a box of tissues for company.

But as my illnesses are ongoing I cannot perform this ritual all the time. I would get sick of my own company, I fear. I pulled myself together for a few moments to take a trip to the supermarket and it was the most bizarre experience. I was so drugged up on pain killers that I wandered around like a space cadet. I bought two books, which I don’t remember buying. I bought a sandwich, which I don’t remember eating. Then returned home only to pass out for a couple of hours.

I know what you must be thinking, ‘poor boy came all that way for me to just sleep and walk around in a daze’. Well I know. And I hate it too. But everyone around me must understand that I can’t be on top form always. I do what I can, when I can.

The doc informed me I have two huge ulcers in my throat (Ewwww), I had no idea they were there. So the plan is to rest up, recharge and gargle mouth wash to get rid of the nasties. Hopefully with a tad more sleep and generally feeling better my space cadet days will be over. (Well not entirely, I still have my blonde moments).

1 comment:

Sending you a virtual ((hug))) and wishing you better health after a restorative sleep. Your body must be working very hard on the inside at the moment! I can sympathise with the pain and exhaustion, and the feeling bad about what our friends and partners have to deal with while we are wiped out! My husband has been a huge support and dropped everything when I needed him. Thankfully I now have some restoration of my health after these last three horrible years.With best wishes, H (Coldtoes)

All About Me

At the age of 22 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I did not know much about the disease but it seemed my life would never be the same again. After months of despair, loosing a loved one and giving up my dream job I am finally coming to terms with my condition. I realised that I am not alone and with the help of incredibly supportive family and friends I can live a normal life and will not be beaten by this. I hope in reading my stories you too those who have been diagnosed will realise you are not alone and those who know someone will get an idea of how their friend/relative may be feeling and the challenges we face. Now 24, I am ready to share my story with you beautiful people (be ready for one hell of a rollercoaster ride!)