Goodbye Brown Eyes

Walking down the aisle of the kennels I realized that my feet were walking towards your enclosure. There you were, sitting all by yourself staring at me. I came in and sat with you. I knew that we would be friends that instant. Your beautiful long coat with that long muzzle. Those brown eyes that spoke a thousand words. You were better than that Lassie movie I used to watch. You were real. Occasionally spending my lunch time with you became a habit of some sort. I loved how you jumped at the sight of me. We spoke a language not many would understand. It was Love.

Two weeks later you fell ill, and blood parasites were found in your blood. It weighed me down to see you unable to move. Just because you were abandoned, that does not mean you could choose to give up without a fight. “Why should I live when I am not loved?” A hard question to answer darling, but I sure did assure you, did I not? The second you stood up and gave me a lick on my cheek I knew you would pull through and come back to us stronger and that is exactly what you did. It was not the medicine, but it was prayer and love. A month away and when I came back to be on duty, there you were. Stronger and as beautiful as ever. I was more than happy when I was given the responsibility to handle you. Our morning walks were perfect and I remember the way you refused to get back inside your kennel. I remember hiding the antibiotic pills in your food! Soon, you just ate those pills right out of my hand. Such a good girl you were, my love.

My Favorite Brown Eyes

Everything was perfect till that mishap. I wished I could have stopped it. Holding you in my arms and watching all those symptoms of the Central Nervous System deteriorating. That toxin running through your nerves that made you struggle. “I don’t want to die.” I will never forget that. That moment when I had to pump your heart back to life to keep it beating. Every tremor that hurt you. I wished so badly I could have traded places with you. It broke me to pieces watching you suffer. Those two nights that I spent sleeping beside you were the best days of my life. Hugging you while I slept and holding your paws though I knew you had gone into a coma. Only a few days ago you were jumping on me and you were so happy. Was that a sign that you were leaving us?

I woke up next to you that morning and I knew you were leaving that day. Something that I have always been able to feel. I saw you take those deep breaths. And then you left us all. A piece of me changed. Were you teaching us? If so, I sure did learn a lot from you. “I Love you,” was all I could whisper into your ears for the final time. I am sorry Collie, I could not do much except to be by your side. The one beautiful Collie that was named Collie. I will remember the smell of your breath, your whimper, your cheekiness, your imperfect teeth, your beautiful brown eyes and above all, I will miss you. Do not for once think that you were not loved, because I sure did love you with all of myself.

Goodbye for now and I pray we meet one day on that Rainbow Bridge. Till then, you will always be a part of who I am.

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