Hi guys! This is my first story and I'm really nervous about posting it. I've read a lot of great story's lately though so I decided to try and write one of my own. This story is very angst filled, almost unnecessarily so. What can I say, I like angst. Please try to bear with me and I hope you enjoy the story.

Koi

Chapter One

Miki walked down the mostly deserted street with a smile on her face. She almost felt like skipping she was so happy but that was way too out of character for her. Miki had just picked up a new DVD and was on her way to see Aya, hence the reason for her happiness. Miki loved spending time with her best friend. Aya was the only person who Miki could act like herself around. Around everyone else Miki had to keep up her act of being the badass that didn’t get affected by anything. But not with Aya. Only Aya know how she really was, that things people did and said really did get to her. Only Aya knew that Miki wasn't nearly as strong as the facade she put on for everyone to see.

I can’t wait to see Aya. Miki thought as she made her way to the bus stop. Lately both Aya and Miki’s schedules had been busy and they hadn’t been able to see each other very much. Aya had called her a couple of days ago and suggested they get together to watch movies and have a sleepover like old times. Miki was more than happy to accept the invitation.

The truth was Miki loved Aya, as in was IN love with her. She knew she didn’t stand a chance though. She had even told Aya how she felt before but Aya had gently informed her that both of them were too busy to try to have relationships. It hurt. Miki had to admit that but she was just glad that it hadn’t affected their friendship. Miki was willing to just be friends with Aya, she was just happy to be around her.

Miki checked her watch and saw that there was still another five minutes until her bus was scheduled to show. Feeling bored and seeing a magazine stand nearby Miki decided to buy one so she could read it to waste the time. She went to the stand and bought the first magazine she saw before going back to sit on the bus stop bench. Flipping the magazine over and staring at the cover Miki could feel her heart break.

Sorry this chapter is so short the next was is longer and hopefully they will continue to get longer.

Aya sat on her couch anxiously awaiting Miki’s arrival. Aya was really excited to finally be spending time with Miki again. Miki was really busy lately ever since she had become sub leader of Morning Musume. Aya had been busy also, partially with work but also partially with her boyfriend.

It’s really wrong for you not to tell Miki about Keita. Miki is your best friend. There are no secrets between the two of you. Despite how she felt though Aya couldn’t get the courage to tell Miki about Keita. She knew it would break Miki’s heart because Miki was in love with Aya. Aya already felt bad enough about turning Miki’s love down, she didn’t want to throw Keita in Miki’s face.

Aya heard a key turn in the lock on her door and looked up to see Miki opening the door.

“Hey Miki! Did you get the DVD? I made us some food so we wouldn’t be hu… Miki are you ok? What’s wrong?”Aya could tell just by looking at Miki that something was the matter with her. Her posture was all wrong and she had her head down. Aya walked over to Miki and put her arm around Miki’s shoulders before leading her to sit beside her on the couch.

“What is it Miki?” Aya questioned softly while pushing Miki’s bangs behind her ears and out of her face.

Miki looked at Aya for a long time and Aya could see the hurt radiating in her eyes. Just when Aya was going to ask Miki again what the problem was Miki slowly raised her arm and showed Aya a magazine that she hadn’t noticed Miki had before. Aya slowly took the FRIDAY magazine out of Miki’s hand and immediately knew what was wrong. Guess I don’t have to tell Miki about Keita after all.

“Tan…”

“Nee, Aya-chan were you even going to tell me?” Miki looked up at Aya with big sad eyes and Aya could feel her heart breaking knowing that she was the one that caused Miki so much pain.

“I was going to Miki I just had to think of the right time. And we haven’t been able to see each other lately cause we’ve both been so busy…”

“I can see how busy you’ve been Ayaya it’s all in the magazine.” Ok I guess I deserved that. Aya thought to herself as she saw the beginnings of sparks flying in Miki’s eyes.

“I’m sorry Miki, it’s just, I like Keita and I knew it was something I had to tell you but I just didn’t know how cause I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“And this didn’t hurt Aya? Me finding out from a freaking gossip magazine article!” Miki stood up and glared down at Aya no longer able to control her anger. She couldn’t believe Aya hadn’t told her. She couldn’t believe Aya had gone out and gotten a boyfriend. Especially after Aya had told her they were too busy to have relationships.

“Mikitan I know I was wrong and I’m sorry.” Aya got up and put her hand on Miki’s shoulder trying to calm her down. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. That was the last thing I would ever want to do. You’re my best friend Miki, there’s no one in my life more important than you. I was wrong Miki, so wrong. I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am. Please forgive me Miki.”

“I’m still upset that you didn’t tell me Aya but I forgive you.” Miki knew she could forgive Aya of anything. She could never stay mad at her. Aya just had that sort of power over her.

“Thank you Tan. Come on, why don’t you put the DVD in and I’ll go get the food. There’s no point arguing when we could be having fun instead.”

Aya and Miki went through the night as planned, pretending everything was okay. Both could tell that the atmosphere was a little tense though. They knew everything wasn’t fine. Miki was heartbroken but trying her best not to show it. She guessed Aya had just made up that thing about them being too busy in their careers to let Miki down gently. She just hoped that they could get over the whole Keita problem and that their friendship wouldn’t suffer too much.

Ok so this story isn't going to be very long at all. If my outline is correct there should only be about seven chapters. Hopefully I will be able to finish this story up quickly.

Miki and Aya both turned around to see Rika and Yossie waving at them from across the room. They were in the H!P lobby after work where most the members were hanging around talking.

“Hey Rika!” Aya answered enthusiastically to their friend who had just called them. Miki nodded her greetings, rolling her eyes slightly at all the energy.

“Nee, me and Yocchan were about to go out to dinner and I was wondering if the two of you would like to join us.” Rika seemed genuinely hopeful while Yossie seemed to look on with nonchalance.

“Sorry Rika-chan but Tan and I already have plans for dinner tonight maybe some other time.”

“Oh that’s too bad, yeah maybe another time” Rika then turned and motioned Yossie to follow her out of the building. Yossie gave Miki a quick look over and then followed Rika out the door.

Miki was really glad that her and Aya had plans already and didn’t have to go eat with Rika and Yossie. Lately she had been feeling really uncomfortable being around Yossie. It was of course hard not to be around her with them both being in Morning Musume and Gatas. It just seemed that Yossie always stared at her with a look of hatred mixed with… desire.

Suddenly Miki felt a tug on her hand cutting off her thoughts.

“Come on Tan I’m hungry lets go.” Aya was whining a little and acting childish but Miki thought it was cute. She thought everything Aya did was cute.

“Hai Aya, let’s go.” Just as they made it out the door Aya’s phone began to ring. Miki almost growled; she knew that ringtone. It was the ringtone Aya had for her precious boyfriend Keita.

“Hold on a moment Miki, let me take this.” Aya let go of Miki’s hand and walked a few steps away but Miki could still hear the conversation.

“Hi Keita how are you” I hope he’s doing horrible. Miki was upset that once again Keita had managed to take up the time she was supposed to be spending with Aya.

“What am I doing right now?” Miki’s heart almost stopped. Is Aya about to change our plans?

“Actually I’m about to go to dinner with Miki so I can’t.” Ha ha. Take that Keita she wants to be with me not you.

“I have a great idea why don’t the three of us go to dinner together” No Aya that’s a dumb idea. A really really dumb idea. Even dumber than when Tsunku decided to put me in Morning Musume.

“Ok we’ll meet you there.” Aya turned around and saw Miki staring at her with a blank expression.

“Gomen Miki but Keita really wanted to see me and I thought now would be a good time for the two of you to get to know each other better.” Miki knew she was lost when Aya looked up at her with her cute little puppy dog face asking to be forgiven.

“It’s fine Aya” Miki sighed steeling herself for a night full of Keita. Well at least she didn’t just dump me for him.

When Miki and Aya arrived at the restaurant Keita was already there to greet them. Miki watched in disgust as Keita went over to Aya and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Nice to see you again Miki how are you doing.” Keita walked over to Miki and held out his hand for her to shake.

“Yeah I’m fine let’s eat.” Miki pushed pass Keita and entered the restaurant leaving a stunned Keita behind. She could faintly hear Aya apologizing and making up some excuse for her behavior. Miki didn’t care though, inside she was dying. Keita had interfered with her Aya time. It wasn’t fair. Keita was allowed to love Aya but Miki couldn’t have one night out with Aya? That didn’t seem right.

The hostess came and sat the three at a private booth in a back room. They ordered and got their drinks but the atmosphere was tense and awkward. Nobody knew what to say first. Finally Keita began talking to Aya about work and the two of them began a conversation as if Miki wasn’t there.

This isn’t right! It should be me and Aya talking and Keita being the third wheel. I don’t like being left out. Ayaya’s mine NOT Keita’s. Miki decided that if no one would invite her into the conversation she would just invite herself.

“So Keita,” Miki started. Both Aya and Keita turned to Miki to see what she had to say. Keita with curiosity and Aya with trepidation, it was no secret to Aya how Miki felt about Keita so she was worried about what she had to say. “I saw your picture in a magazine the other day and I was wondering, do you try to make yourself look like a girl or does that just happen?”

“Miki.” Aya warned Miki with a cold tone of voice.

“Don’t get me wrong you don’t look like a girl all the time but sometimes I wonder exactly what you were thinking when you go to take pictures. Do you think it’s cute? Cause let me tell you right now, it’s not.”

“Miki that’s enough.” This time Aya glared at Miki before turning and once again conversing with Keita. Keita sent Miki a look of loathing before turning to respond to Aya. By now their food had arrived but Miki was feeling all the more miserable.

So they think they can ignore me huh? It is not that easy to stop Fujimoto Miki.

“Anyway Keita” Miki started once again. She could see Aya glaring at her out of the corner of her eye but she ignored her in favor of smirking at the pretty boy across the table. “I was watching a video of your latest concert and did you have a cold or something cause you sounded terrible. I mean man, they should have just let you lip sing cause you gave me a headache with all that screeching.”

“Now listen here…” Keita began to confront Miki but was cut off by Aya.

“Miki come with me now.” With that Aya got up and walked towards the bathroom leaving Miki no choice but to follow her. She knew she was in trouble now because Aya sounded pissed. Apparently Keita knew it too by the way he was smirking at Miki. Miki growled at him before getting up and following Aya into the bathroom.

Thankfully the bathroom was empty. It would have been bad if someone saw Miki being scolded by Aya. Miki looked at Aya and saw that she was furious. Miki tried to put on her best innocent look but by the look on Aya’s face it wasn’t working.

“Fujimoto Miki you have some nerve. Keita has been nothing but nice to you but you are being so childish.” Aya had turned her back to Miki to try to calm herself but she was still fuming. Miki could tell she was in real trouble.

“But Ayaya…” Miki tried but Aya turned around swiftly and got right up to Miki’s face.

“Don’t you Ayaya me. I know you don’t like Keita but he’s my boyfriend. I thought that tonight we could all have a good time but you’re so stupid you can’t do that can you? This is why people don’t like you now Miki because you can’t keep your mouth shut. I’m going out there to enjoy the rest of the night with my boyfriend and either you can join us and not say anything else to him or you can go home, you got me?”

By now Miki was crying but trying not to. She hated it when Aya scolded her. Aya was the only person that could actually make her feel bad. Aya’s rant just then had really hurt Miki’s feelings. She was right though. People didn’t like her and the only person who could tolerate her was mad at her now. She realized she had been really childish teasing Keita like that. Miki looked up at Aya and realized she was still waiting for a response. Sniffling she nodded her head yes to Aya’s question.

“Good. Now wash your face and then come join us when you’ve calmed down.” With that Aya gave Miki a disappointed look that made Miki cry harder and left the bathroom.

You’re such an idiot Fujimoto to think that Aya cares more about you than she does Keita. Miki stared at her reflection in the mirror, seeing the tears flowing down her cheeks she was filled with self-loathing. It’s no wonder she doesn’t want you you’re so weak. You couldn’t even handle her scolding you just then. You’re pathetic. Eventually Miki stopped crying, washed her face, and reapplied her make-up. After looking in the mirror and taking some deep breaths to calm herself, she finally went to rejoin Aya and Keita.

As she walked up to the table she saw that Aya and Keita were obviously enjoying themselves as they were laughing and didn’t acknowledge her when she sat down. Not wanting to get herself in more trouble with Aya, Miki quietly began eating.

“So Miki,” Miki was surprised to hear Keita calling her. She nervously looked up and saw that he was giving her a smirk very similar to the one she gave him earlier. “You used to be a soloist like Aya a couple of years ago right? It’s too bad you weren’t very talented or maybe you would still be a soloist like my Aya-chan nee?”

Miki stole a glance at Aya to see if she was going to say anything but Aya just stared intensely at her food. Saddened Miki lowered her head and tried to ignore Keita’s taunting, but he wasn’t done yet.

“Wait a minute. Didn’t you lose the Morning Musume auditions in the first place? So what, you lose, they feel sorry for you so they let you go solo, then they realize how much you suck and try to hide you in the group when they had so many members you couldn’t tell one from another? That’s really pathetic. You must feel so ashamed. I mean on your debut song they let the new thirteen year old have to lead while you barely had any lines.” Keita laughed then went back to talking to Aya.

Miki stared at her food and tried not to cry. Not that she cared what Keita had to say, he was an idiot. She was upset because while she had got her butt chewed out by Aya about being mean to Keita, Aya didn’t seem to care that Keita was taunting Miki. And Aya knew how sensitive Miki was about losing her solo career. That had been a big blow to her self-confidence and Aya had been the one Miki came crying to. Aya had been the one to tell Miki that everything would be all right.

For the rest of the meal Aya and Keita talked while Miki picked at her food with her head down. She wanted to just leave but she wouldn’t give Keita that satisfaction. Finally it was time to go and the three headed outside.

“Tonight was really fun Keita let’s do it again soon.” Miki watched as Aya stood on her tip-toes and kissed Keita then gave him a hug before he walked away. Aya glanced over and saw that Miki was still standing there. “I’ll see you tomorrow Miki.” Aya then turned around and walked away.

Miki was in shock. She didn’t even give me a hug goodbye. That never happens. No matter how upset we get at each other we never walk away angry. And she was supposed to come over to my house after dinner. I can see Keita is already ruining our friendship.

Numb, Miki got in a taxi and made her way to her apartment. When she got there she collapsed into bed fully clothed and cried herself to sleep.

I would like to thank everyone who is taking the time to read this story. Yall are great See you next chapter!

Damn Keita's an ass I feel really bad for Miki. I mean, her best friend is basically choosing her boyfriend over her! That's just all kinds of wrong....what happened to Chicks before Dicks or Hoes over Bros!? Miki's self-esteem is in the frikin toilet right now. Oh, and patiently waiting for update!

Sorry guys for the long wait since the last chapter. I've been doing my IB testing at school which is nothing but writing so I kind of haven't been in the mood. However last night at like 2 am I was hit with inspiration and managed to write chapter four-seven. I'm going to post all of them now I hope nobody minds.There are only two chapters left (more like one and an epilogue) and I will hopefully be through with those soon so that I can have completed my first story.WarningThere are some serious situations that occur in these chapters

Chapter Four

Once again Miki was at Aya’s apartment watching a movie. It had been a few weeks since the incident with Keita in the restaurant. The day after Aya had come up to Miki and started talking to her like nothing had happened. Miki didn’t really understand but she was willing to take Aya’s forgiveness anyway she could get it.

“Don’t go in there! Don’t go in there! Noooo! Why did you go in there?!” Miki chuckled slightly while looking down at Aya who was clinging tightly to her arm, sitting so close to Miki she was practically sitting in her lap. Miki didn’t know why Aya had wanted to watch a horror movie when she knew she always got really scared.

“Aya if the people in the movies didn’t go into the scary rooms nothing would happen and the movie would be really boring.” Aya looked up at Miki with her big scared eyes and Miki felt her heart melt. “It’s ok Ayaya I won’t let any of the monsters get you.” Miki put her arm around Aya and pulled her even closer so that she was actually on her lap. Aya shot Miki at grateful look and a smile and returned to watching the movie, hiding her face in Miki’s shoulder every now and then.

I wonder if Keita would be this nice to Aya if she were scared. Miki wished that Aya was clinging to her out of love but she would take whatever she could get. I bet Keita doesn’t know a thing about taking care of Aya.

Just then there was a knock on the door that made Aya jump and cling to Miki even harder.

“It’s just the door Aya. I’ll go get it.” Miki gave Aya a kiss on the forehead and placed her on the coach while laughing to herself about how jumpy Aya was. Miki soon lost her smile though when she opened the door and saw who was there.

“Hello Fujimoto, been a while.” Keita walked pass Miki, pushing her a little and walked over to the couch where Aya was sitting. “Hey Aya. Why are you shaking? Has Fujimoto been upsetting you?”

“Of course not we were just watching a scary movie, come watch with me.” Aya pulled Keita down in the spot where Miki had just been sitting and started to tell him about the movie.

Miki was furious. What the hell was Keita doing there when she was supposed to be spending time ALONE with Aya. And at Aya’s apartment too? Their apartments were her and Aya’s special places, that’s why they both had keys to the other’s place. Miki swore that guy followed her around just so that he could break up anytime she had with Aya. She hadn’t seen him for about two weeks, since the time they decided to try once again for the three of them to have dinner together. After another night of Keita badmouthing her and Aya not stopping him Miki realized she couldn’t hang around the two of them anymore. It had been working fine too, until tonight.

Miki glanced at the couch and noticed that Aya was once again watching the movie. Aya was clinging to his arm but not as tightly as she had with Miki. Keita’s arm wasn’t around Aya either. Miki felt a little better knowing that some things were still sacred with her and Aya. Miki walked back over to the couch and sat on the other side of Aya determined to ignore Keita. This of course was easier said than done since Keita decided he couldn’t go without teasing Miki.

“So Miki you sure have a lot of time to hang around Aya. Your life must be like your career, nonexistent.” Keita laughed at his joke and Aya looked up at him for a moment like she was going to say something then looked back at the T.V. Miki sighed and sunk deeper into the couch. It’s going to be a long night.

By the time the movie ended Miki didn’t think she could take it anymore. Throughout the movie Keita kept making offhanded comments about Miki and the whole time Aya just sat there.

“Hey Miki, as sub leader do you have to lick Yoshizawa’s boots and kiss her ass?”

Suddenly Miki saw red, she couldn’t take it anymore. Miki stood up off the couch so fast Aya jumped harder than she had throughout the whole movie. Keita figuring a confrontation was about to happen stood up also. Miki walked over to Keita and stood up in his face… well as close to his face as she could get with their height difference.

“Shut your fucking mouth asshole! I’m tired of all this crap you’ve been saying about me. Do you think talking bad about me makes you look good or something? Or are you just jealous of my relationship with Aya? Well I don’t care what it is but I’m not about to listen to your shit anymore.” Without thinking Miki pulled her arm back and then brought it forward punching Keita hard in the face.

“Miki!” Aya screamed leaping up off the couch also. “I can’t believe you, what is your problem? You can’t just go around punching people.”

Miki was confused. She was sure Aya would side with her on this one. Keita had deserved what he got. Was Aya really so in love with Keita that she with that blind to his faults? Miki could feel her heart sink as she began to realize that Keita was much more important to Aya than she was. I guess love tops best-friends huh?

“I… I can’t talk to you anymore Miki. I don’t like you like this. Lately I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I’m sorry Miki but, get out of my house. And don’t talk to me anymore.” Aya was backing away from Miki as if she were afraid of her. Maybe she is. I’m nothing but a monster. An unlovable monster. No wonder she didn’t stop Keita from saying all those things about me. They were all true.

“I’m sorry Aya. I’m so sorry Aya.” Miki slowly backed away. She couldn’t stand Aya looking at her like how she had looked at the movie not too long ago, terrified. She reached the door and opened it, tears streaming down her face. She turned back to look at Aya one more time. “I’m sorry Aya” Miki whispered before walking out the apartment and shutting the door firmly behind her.

The days following Aya kicking Miki out of her apartment Miki felt like she were in a blur. She went to work, she went home, and she slept. That was pretty much it. At work she tried to act as normal as possible, still insulting the members and acting like the badass she was, but everyone could tell that something was wrong with her. Her insults just didn’t seem as heartfelt as usual. Everyone could tell it had something to do with Aya. Usually whenever there were break times you could always find Miki and Aya together. But for the past week Aya had been avoiding Miki like the plague and Miki just stared after her wistfully.

Miki didn’t know what to do. She had tried to apologize to Aya numerous times but every time she got close to Aya, Aya would find something that had to be done right then and run off. Miki couldn’t believe that some guy that had come out of nowhere had actually been able to ruin their friendship that had been so strong.

Deep inside Miki wasn’t very surprised at all. She had always been a negative person and was and expected the worse of every situation. Miki knew she didn’t have very good relationships with people, which was why she was always surprised that someone as sweet and wonderful as Aya would want to be best-friends with someone like her. In the back of her mind she always wondered when Aya would realize her mistake and leave Miki behind. Still it hurt that it had actually happened.

“Miki I don’t know what’s wrong with you lately but you better get your head straight for today’s game.” Miki turned and saw Yossie standing behind her with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Miki didn’t know what she had done to her but Yossie made it clear she didn’t like Miki.

“Don’t worry Yossie I’m ready for the game.” Miki knew this wasn’t exactly true since she really wasn’t in the mood for playing but she wasn’t about to tell Yossie that.

Yossie gave Miki a dark glare. “You better be.” Miki watched in relief as Yossie walked away; glad the girl had left her alone for the moment. With a sigh Miki decided to head back to her apartment to get ready for the Gatas match that afternoon.

Miki sat alone in the Gatas locker room staring at the wall in disbelief. They had just lost their match. Because of her. Miki had been so distracted thinking about Aya she had lost the ball to the other team many times during the match. After the game the other girls were so upset that no one spoke to each other. They didn’t even bother to shower and change in the locker room, instead they all just decided to go straight home.

“Fujimoto what the hell was that!” Ok so I thought everybody went home. Guess I was wrong. Miki looked up into Yossie’s enraged face and suddenly felt fear. She didn’t like the fact that she was the only one left in the building with her. Miki put her signature look on her face though, determined not to let Yossie get the best of her.

“You got a problem Yoshizawa?” Miki stood up to look at Yossie, she didn’t like the way she had been hovering over her.

“Yeah I got a problem. We’ve been practicing for this game forever! It was our biggest game of the freakin season and you just blew it!” By now Yossie was very close to Miki’s face and Miki didn’t like the way the conversation was going. I wonder if she came in with plans to beat me up.

“Look I was just having a bad day it happens to everyone. I’m sorry we lost the game all right.” Miki hoped that Yossie would back off and let her go but she had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen.

“It’s not just been today Fujimoto you’ve been moping around all week. I didn’t say anything you about how you’ve been slowing down the group in the dance practices but you making us lose this game is the last straw. What’s going on with you anyway?”

Miki sighed as she thought back to the reason for her distraction all week. “It’s nothing for you to worry about Yoshizawa. Aya and I are just…” Yossie cut Miki off before Miki could finish her statement.

“Oh so that’s it. It’s a relationship problem.” Miki suddenly backed away from Yossie. Yossie seemed really upset about the answer Miki had just given her and looked about ready to murder Miki. “We lost our important game all because your mistress didn’t want to play with her whore!”

Miki realized that now would be a really good time to get out of the locker room because Yossie seemed like she was crazy. As soon as she turned to leave though, Yossie grabbed her arm to keep her in place.

“You know Fujimoto I really used to like and respect you but now you make me sick.” Yossie’s grip was so tight on Miki’s arm that it was cutting off her circulation. Miki hardly noticed though. She was too terrified to think of anything but the fact that Yossie was going to kill her. It seemed like a screw had come loose in Yossie’s head or something, she looked and sounded demented.

Yossie’s voice turned wistful and she seemed to go into a daze. “You were so strong. You just had an aura around you that told people you weren’t someone to be messed with. That you would always get your way. When you failed the Morning Musume auditions you didn’t give up. You kept trying and eventually you became a soloist and I admired your determination. When I heard you were joining Morning Musume I was so excited. Here was my chance to really get to know you. We could be friends… and maybe more.” Suddenly Yossie’s face grew hard again and she grabbed Miki’s other arm and slammed her had against the lockers high up so that Miki’s feet didn’t touch the ground. Miki moaned slightly in pain.

“Then imagine my surprise when after awhile I realized you’re all head over heels for that brat Matsuura. You were so sick, following her around like a puppy. Doing her every bidding. You always came running when she called. I couldn’t believe that someone I thought was so strong was actually so weak. Yeah I realize how weak you really are Fujimoto. You try to hide it from everyone but I’m not dumb. This past week you’ve been mopping around like your life is ending. Actually for the past month, ever since Matsuura got her little boyfriend.” Yossie smiled grimly in Miki’s face before picking her up off the lockers only to slam her back into them. “How did it feel to realize the person you like so much didn’t want you? How did it feel when you realized they loved someone else? Now you know how I felt.”

When Yossie finished talking she let go of Miki and Miki fell hard onto the floor, banging her head into the lockers on her way down. Miki tried to move but she was in too much pain. Yossie looked down on her in disgust before her face suddenly turned soft.

“Nee, Miki-chan, I can make it better.” Yossie kneeled down by where Miki was half sprawled across the floor and half sprawled against the lockers and begin stroking her hair. “You don’t really need Aya Miki. I’m here; I can be there for you.” Oh my gosh I think Yoshizawa really is crazy. Miki was afraid of Yossie’s frequent sudden mood changes but this one scared her the most. She didn’t like the way Yossie was looking at her and touching her. It was making her much more uncomfortable than the pain she was in.

When Miki was thinking she didn’t realize Yossie had leaned down until she felt Yossie’s lips on hers. Miki pulled away so fast she banged her head on the locker behind her. Yossie glared at Miki and started to growl a little. “So what I’m not good enough for you or something? I’m not your precious Ayaya?” Yossie abruptly stood up then grabbed one of Miki’s arms and jerked her up from the ground. “I could have made it good for you you know? You could have been so happy. WE could have been so happy. But you always gotta make things difficult don’t you? Now we have to do things my way.”

Miki realized Yossie had started dragging her towards the entrance and terror coursed through her. Miki started to fight with whatever remaining strength she had but it was soon made obvious that she was no match for Yossie. With a malicious chuckle Yossie easily just picked Miki up and carried her out of the Gatas locker room, and out of safety.

Miki woke up and for a moment she was confused about where she was and why she was in pain. Only for a moment though. The memories from the day before quickly came rushing back to her and tears filled her eyes. Miki sat up as far as she could, since there was a strong arm firmly securing her to the bed around her waist. Looking down at her naked body Miki could see that she was completely covered in bruises and hickey marks. Unable to hold back her tears anymore Miki lay back down and began to cry quietly, so as not to wake up the monster beside her.

I can’t believe it. I’ve been raped. Miki was still in shock. Rape was one of those things you heard about but didn’t actually happen to you. And by one of my band mates too. Not even, my freaking leader. At this thought Miki only began to cry harder. Miki didn’t even know why she was thinking like this, she was just so terrified and horrified that her mind was running wild. When she thought back on some of the things Yossie did to her... Or the things she made me do to her. Miki shuttered. She felt dirty. Despite her reputation Miki had been a virgin. She had been saving herself for someone special Aya but Yossie had taken that from her. When Yossie had realized she was a virgin all she did was laugh in her face.

“Shut the heck up with all that crying Fujimoto I’m trying to sleep over here.” Miki immediately tried to stop crying when she heard Yossie wake up. She was afraid of what would happen to her if she disobeyed. Yossie sat up and yawned before looking down at Miki and smiling. “Last night was fun nee Miki-chan.” Yossie smiled while running her hand down Miki’s body. Before Miki could respond she felt herself being literary kicked out of the bed and onto the floor. “Get up, get dressed, get out.”

Miki did not stop to ask questions she just quickly followed instructions glad to get away from Yossie. “And don’t forget Fujimoto we have dance practice at 12 so don’t be late.” Miki quickly threw on her clothes and ran out of the dreaded apartment.

Miki looked around the dance studio to see the exhaustion on the member’s faces. Their dance practice was supposed to be a small one with only the members, no instructor or anything. It was only scheduled to be two hours but they had already been there for five because Yossie was unsatisfied with their performance. Miki didn’t think she could last much longer. It had been hard for her just to move that morning because of all of her bruises and now she had been dancing for five hours and she felt like she was dying. She could tell the other members weren’t doing much better. They all seemed to realize that their leader was in a bad mood so no one was brave enough to voice a complaint, even Reina who usually didn’t hold her tongue.

“What is wrong with all of you today?! Why can’t you get the freaking dance right? Again from the top.” Miki saw the saddened and resolved faces of the members and was suddenly angry. She knew that they were performing the dance perfectly. They had had it perfect already and this rehearsal had only been a review. Sayumi was bent over and holding her side in pain and Ai was sweating so hard it looked like she had ran in the rain. What really got Miki though was Koharu. Koharu was so determined to prove herself that she was trying so hard not let her discomfort be known. But Miki could clearly see the tears in the little girl’s eyes and could hear her ragged breathing as she tried to pretend nothing was bothering her. Miki knew that Koharu looked up to her and she couldn’t stand to let her suffer when as sub leader Miki should have stopped Yossie a long time ago. And that’s exactly what she decided to do. I’m probably going to die from this.

“No Yoshizawa I think we’ve practiced enough for the day.” Miki noticed all members look at her in gratitude except for Yossie who was glaring at her with loathing. The other members noticed the obvious tension between their leader and sub leader and wondered what was going on. “It is very obvious that we know this dance perfectly and could probably perform it in our sleep. You have already extended rehearsal for three hours and the girls are exhausted.” Turning away from Yossie, Miki turned and addressed the girls. “That’s all for today girls. Go home and get some rest, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The members quickly gathered their belonging and hurried out the room giving Miki a smile of thanks on their way out. Koharu stopped and gave her a hug before hurrying off after Sayumi. Miki smiled after them glad that she had been able to help the members out. Miki’s smile quickly faded when she felt a hand on her shoulder as Yossie quickly turned her around to face her. Before Miki had time to think Yossie slapped her hard across the face. Miki saw stars and stumbled a bit from the force of the hit. Before she could recover Yossie picked her up and slammed her into a wall.

“What the hell was that Fujimoto?! Just who the fuck do you think you are?” Yossie put Miki back on the ground and towered over Miki making her shiver wondering what Yossie would do. “You do NOT undermine my authority you got that. I am the freaking leader of this group and you are nothing. You think your title as sub leader means anything to me? Well let me tell you it doesn’t.”

Miki was hoping she could get away soon because she noticed that Yossie was starting to get a certain glint in her eye. Before she knew what was going on Yossie’s hand was up under her shirt and fondling her breasts. “You belong to me Miki so you do what I say when I say it. You don’t go around giving me orders.” Yossie began kissing down Miki’s neck before kissing her passionately on the lips. When she finished she bit Miki’s lip so hard she tasted blood. “You’re nothing but a whore Fujimoto. All you’re good for is to be used and thrown away.”

With that Yossie turned around and walked out the door leaving Miki behind. Miki slowly slid down the wall and sat on the floor with her knees pulled up protectively against her. Miki wanted so badly to cry but she couldn’t cry anymore. It was like all her tears had dried up. She felt so dirty. She thought she would drown in her own filth. I have to get clean. Miki pushed her self off the wall and stood up. Determined to go home and wash the filth off of herself.

I'm really sorry guess. This was that angst I was talking about at the beginning of the first chapter. Don't worry though things will get better for Miki. She just had to hit the bottom before she could make her way to the top.

This chapter is written from Aya's POV. Yay! We can finally see what that girls has been thinking!

Chapter Seven

Aya sat on her couch staring into space. The TV was on and playing something but she wasn’t paying any attention to it. Instead she was lost in her thoughts.

I really miss Miki. I know I can’t even complain about anything because all of this is my fault. I can’t believe I was so stupid. Aya sighed and began to look increasingly depressed.

This all started back when Miki told me she was in love with me. I don’t know why but that scared the crap out of me. I think it was because I realized I kinda felt the same about her. I couldn’t tell her that though cause I was still trying to sort out my own feelings and also because I was in denial. What I felt for Miki was stronger than anything I’d ever felt before and that scared me. That’s when Keita came into the picture.

I figured that maybe I was just feeling this way because it had been a long time since I’d dated anyone. I figured Keita would be the easy choice since he seemed pretty nice and I already knew from previous conversations that he liked me. After the whole FRIDAY incident I was sure that I would be in trouble with my agency since they really didn’t like us girls dating. Surprisingly though, they didn’t really mind. Supposedly both Keita and I had a sweet and innocent image and us dating looked good. The truth is though, I don’t love Keita. Hell I don’t even like him. He was really boring; all he ever wanted to do was talk about work. I think he was trying to compare the success of our careers or something. Also he didn’t like Miki, which he never failed to remind me.

When I think back to how I treated Miki and how I allowed her to be treated I hate myself. I know that despite the tough persona she projects to the general public she is actually very sensitive, especially when it comes to me. That’s how I know I’ve hurt her really bad. Before, I was always the one that Miki came running to when she was crying, but in the past month it seems I’ve been the source of all of her tears. I don’t know what I was thinking when I invited Keita to have dinner with me and Miki. I just really wanted to spend time with Miki but I was still trying to keep up the image that everything was perfect and loving between Keita and me.

I was really angry when I blew up at Miki in the bathroom, but not at Miki but myself. When Miki was badmouthing Keita I wanted to laugh so badly. She was being typical Miki, speaking her mind and not caring who she hurt in the process. Heck, I even agreed with the things she was saying and I loved her all the more for saying them. That’s when I got mad. I was mad that I was so scared about my feelings that I was dating some guy I didn’t even like. I was mad that Miki was still being so nice to me after I’d stomped all over her heart. I was mad that Keita was beside me, touching me, because I was allowing him to. I was just mad. So I took it out on Miki. I will never forget the look on her face as she was trying her hardest to hold in her sobs but failing miserably. I never hated myself more than at that moment. And the things I said to her. I called her stupid, something I would normally never say to her seriously cause I know she takes things I say to heart. I told her that no one liked her. That was terrible because it’s not true but I know, because she’s told me more than once, that that’s what she believes. Me saying it to her was like a confirmation of her fears.

When she came back to the table she looked so sad and broken. I realized then just how stupid I had been and how I had probably just killed our friendship. And Miki, my poor poor Miki, was trying her hardest to please me. She sat and was so quiet as Keita and I ignored her. And then Keita began to talk about her. Somehow Keita knew all the right buttons to push on Miki. The things that she really was self-conscious about. I saw Miki’s heart break when she looked at me, begging me with her eyes to stop Keita, and I just ignored her and continued eating.

The next day I realized I realized what a mistake I made but also realized that I could not apologize to Miki. I knew if I did I’d tell her everything and I just wasn’t ready for that. Instead I just began talking to Miki as if nothing had happened. Miki, sadly to starved for my attention, gladly began talking to me. A few days latter Miki, Keita, and I once again went out to eat. This time Miki didn’t speak one word the whole meal. Keita on the other hand talked about Miki the whole time. I once again sat in silence. After that Miki refused any further invitations to dinner, and Keita gloated that he had ran off “the pest.”

For a while things seemed to be going better. I mean besides the “dates” that I still went on with Keita. Miki and I were able to spend a lot of time together and I could feel our friendship mending from the hurts I caused her. That was at least until last week when I screwed up again, and big time.

I don’t know why I had chosen to watch a scary movie cause I always get so terrified. Miki was being supportive as always though and let me cling to her and be all over her. I could tell she was amused by me and I could practically feel the love radiating off of her as she watched me. When she placed on her lap and held me tight I almost melted. For a second I forgot about the movie and could only think about how great it felt to be in Miki’s arms. Then I remembered that Miki wasn’t mine and I belonged to Keita. I sighed and returned to watching the movie.

When Keita showed up I was pissed and I could tell Miki was too. I had told Keita that I could not hang out with him that day because I was hanging with Miki. I guess the temptation was just too great for him. When he began taunting Miki that time I almost let him have it. I began to tell him off but for some reason I stopped myself. I think I knew if I started telling him off I wouldn’t stop. I didn’t blame Miki when she finally snapped. Keita’s insults were getting more and more evil as time went by. I never felt so proud of Miki in my life as when she punched him. I wanted to stand up, hug Miki, and then punch Keita myself, but instead I took the coward approach.

When I kicked Miki out I could see the shock and horror etched in her face. I could tell she couldn’t understand why I was still taking Keita’s side and I couldn’t either. I think I knew that Keita had gone too far. That if I didn’t do something drastic I would have killed Keita and told him to stop hurting my Mikitan. I was so pissed off at Keita at that moment that I had to turn my anger and disgust on someone. Sadly it once again had to be Miki. I realized when Miki walked out the door that I could not live without her and that despite my fear of how strongly I loved her, I had to be with her. With that in mind I turned around to face Keita.

I broke up with him. One look at the smug expression on his face and I just let him have it. I told him exactly how I felt about him and kicked him out of my apartment. Then I sat on the couch and cried. I realized just how much I’d hurt Miki in the past month. She was so honest with me about how much she loved me and instead of being honest back I was scared and hid behind Keita. I knew that are relationship may never be fixed and it was nobody’s fault but my own.

For the past week I’ve been avoiding her because I’m still scared. I don’t want to mess up this second chance with Miki. I have to prepare myself fully and know what I’m trying to say when I go to talk to her. But I have to talk to her. I have to tell her how much I love her and explain to her how all of this was a mistake. I’m afraid she’ll reject me though. After how much I’ve hurt her I don’t deserve her at all. But I can’t help but be selfish because I can’t live without Miki.

I’ve procrastinated too long already. Miki’s been hurt enough already by my indecisiveness. I can’t hold back any longer. Aya took a deep sigh and stood up off the couch. It’s time to tell Miki how I feel. With that Aya left her apartment and made her way to Miki.

YOSSIE RAPED MIKI!!! WTF YOSSIE FREAKIN RAPED MIKI why would you doing something like that to Mikkity OMG dude I can't even think right now I mean at first because of the whole aya being a jerk with keita we would have a little yomiki but NOO Yossie has to get all and poor Miki was already then yossie attacks her and now shes and then Ayaya all she was mean and hurtful just because she was scared of her feelings... normally I would be like aww she gonna confess but NO! she has to rectify this! Miki was raped by Yossie YOSSIE ... Damn angst

.... *clears throat* all that aside please write new chapters can't wait for the updates

Then she's probably going to start blaming herself, thinking that if she had been able to stand up to her fears sooner, that she wouldn't have driven Miki away like that, and therefore none of "that" would have happened.

My heart friggin stopped when I read what Yossy did! I've never even thought of Yossy as so aggressive (in such a bad way). Poor Miki. Her life is pretty ruined. And Aya.....well, I'm kinda pissed at her. I mean, she's being a total idiot just b/c she's doesn't know if she really likes Miki or not. She treated her like crap and let her ass of a boyfriend walk all over her. That's unacceptable. I'll forgive her when she makes Miki all better.