What factors make certain conversations in the library "difficult"? For some it might be that a specific topic is uncomfortable. For others, it may be that certain circumstances make us feel awkward. Often, we know that if the conversation is handled badly, it will result in serious repercussions. In some instances speaking up (or down) "the chain of command" is stressful. For many, it often comes down to personality and style. Some people really are difficult to talk to in any situation. And some of us simply have a difficult time talking to certain people - period.

During this workshop participants will:

Learn how to approach a difficult library conversation in a way that assures success

Learn to understand the factors that make some library interactions more uncomfortable than they should be

Learn the basics of good interpersonal communication that makes all conversations easier

Learn how timing and focus can help us make difficult conversations easier

Learn how to set goals and priorities so that difficult library conversations have positive outcomes

Learn the incredible value of reframing in difficult conversations

Learn to recognize and deal effectively with "difficult personalities"

Workshop Description: This unique one-day workshop uses lecture, discussion, and individual and group exercises to teach participants effective, practical, and positive skills for making the most difficult conversations easier and more productive.

Preliminary Course Outline

THE BASICS - BETTER INTERPERSONAL SKILLS MAKE FOR EASIER CONVERSATIONS

Attending Skills Are 65-85% of the Game

Your posture creates involvement

Appropriate body motion

The eyes have it

The environment

Keeping Track - Following Skills

Getting it started

Keeping it going

Useful questions

Silence is golden

Reflecting Back - Staying Connected

Paraphrasing

Reflecting and clarifying feelings

Reflecting and clarifying meanings

Tying it together

The Total Effect

Exceptions to every rule

IDENTIFYING THE SUBJECT - TEXT AND SUB-TEXT

The Big Question - Confront or Avoid?

Timing is everything

Are you afraid?

Guaranteed - how to turn a molehill into a mountain

It's Usually Not "Fact or Fiction"

It's more like "Rashomon"

Hidden issues? You bet!

Feelings before Facts

Which carries more weight?

Which gets handled first?

Personality or Process?

What's their investment?

Where should your investment be?

TURNING CONFLICT INTO COOPERATION

Keep Light - No "Position" Is Totally Intractable

Identify the problem

There is magic in reframing

Focus - Difficult Conversations Are Not Casual Chit-Chat

Have an outcome in mind

Compartmentalize your emotions

Outcomes and Solutions

Don't stand on principle

The goal is to MOVE FORWARD!

Context - Separate People from the Problem

Helping "Difficult Personalities"

Don't be a slave to the emotions of others

The Bulldog, The Bully, The Blamer, The Martyr, "Mr. Teflon," The Liar, "Ms. Fragile," The Easily Insulted, The Instigator, and other favorites...