George Brandis Resigns, To Spend More Time Working Out What The Fuck Metadata Is

After more than 17 years in politics – often spending weeks at a time away from his family ­­– Attorney General George Brandis says it’s time to focus on what the actual fuck metadata is.

In an emotional speech to the Senate, Mr Brandis said his family had made huge sacrifices and oh my god does anyone here even begin to understand how metadata works.

“There have been very long days, and weeks away from home. It puts a strain on your relationships,” he said.

“I’ve enjoyed my time here immensely. But it’s come at a cost. At some point you have to make a choice – continue a life in politics, or devote more time trying to figure out what the hell metadata even is,” he said.