So I was flipping through the channels one morning when I came upon something called MEW MEW POWER, an anime series that desperately tries to mimic the success of SAILOR MOON. Of course, SAILOR MOON wasnít really all that good either, so Iím canít imagine why anyone would want to try and mimic its success. So anyways, this show is about these animal/human hybrids called Mew Mews defending humanity against an alien race that turns people into less friendly human/animal hybrids.. Both factions use music in combat. I would have gotten the hell away from this tripe if I wasnít so mortified by what I was seeing.

In the episode I was witnessing today, a Spanish pianist makes the grave mistake of entering Mew Mew territory, where the aliens turn her into a messed up cat monster, whose weapon of mass destruction is a keytar (the love child of a guitar and a piano). Of course, the Mew Mews come to save the day with their bells, maracas, etc. MEW MEW POWER has roughly the same effect on me as RAINBOW BRITE AND THE STAR STEALER had on Andrew. The explosions of color, the transformation montages accompanied by annoying pop music, the vibes of a creepy cat-girl fetish, this half-hour exposure to MEW MEW POWER made me into a stupider person.

These Mew Mews canít even fight very well either, even if the fight is dueling pianos. Iíd have a much higher opinion of the series if the Mew Mews were brought to their knees by a monster with a guitar, then are saved by Tenacious D after JB and KG defeat the beast in a rock-off. Come to think of it, how about the D defeats the entire alien race with the awesome power of rock? Theyíd certainly be more capable of it than the Mew Mews. And while Kage and Jables are at it, they could send these freaky animal chicks packing too.

Logged

"The only three things I hate are demons, malfunctioning robots, and monster movies that don't show you the monster."

Well, MEW MEW POWER is geared towards ten-year-old girls, you're both the wrong age and gender to really get the appeal of the series, Corey. But so am I, and having struggled through an episode my niece forced me to watch with her, I can honestly say I agree with you completely. Hell, even My Chemical Romance or Fallout Boy could probably do a better job of defending humanity from aliens than the Mew Mews.

I've witnessed the episode Corey speaks of. He's right to be mortified by it. My reason for watching an entire painful half-hour of Mew Mew Power is the same as his: This sh!t traumatized me. Let me go into depth about this spawn of hideous mental retardation.

-We'll start with the Spanish pianist, whose name I believe was Mrs Rivera. Not only do I swear to god I've seen character that looked just like here in other kiddy anime like Yu-Gi-Oh, she also only speaks Spanish, save for the last thirty seconds of the episode. When she approaches the Mew Mews, one of them literally has a full blown spaz attack, ranting about how she neither speaks nor understands Spanish, reacting as though she's being pushed into a pit a lava. And yet, Rivera insists on speaking to this girl in a language she clearly doesn't understand.

-More about the use of the Spanish language here, one of the Mew Mews appears to be some kind of Spanish dancer, so you'd think she'd be able to translate what Mrs Rivera was saying to her friends. But she isn't. And then, in the final minutes of the episode, when Rivera is speaking in Spanish, all the Mew Mews are able to understand perfectly what she's saying. Honestly, I doubt even the eight-year-old girls this series is meant for will buy into this relentless assault on decent logic.

-Then there's the matter of how Mrs Rivera is turned into the messed up keytar-wielding cat monster by some kind of alien monkey boy in a process that I swear to god is exactly like the turning-people-into-monsters process in Sailor Moon. Honestly, this ape kid is a craptacular villain. Here's a hint to all aspiring supervillians out there: Never talk to your enemies as though they are your best friends, and then compliment them after they kick your lame ass. Seriously, the Mew Mews didn't even beat the creature, they needed help from this blond government dude. It seems Mew Mews are constantly being tracked and recruited by some kind of secret Government agency.