The Gentleman’s Movember II

As you are probably aware, it is now the second week of the charity month of Movember. Movember is where men who were previously moustache-less grow one to raise funds. But a gentleman like yourself may well already have a moustache. If this is the case, you may raise funds in Movember by threatening to shave off your well-established upper-lip hair. In my experience, no gentlelady wants his gentleman to be moustache-less, and no other gentleman wants to see the wanton destruction of a well-groomed moustache destroyed.

Tom Selleck martyred his moustache to remind everyone of their importance. The clippings were sold to an anonymous bidder and now reside in Griffith Manor.

As you were reminded last year, Movember does mean that many non-gentlemen (indeed, some gentleman imposters) will relent in shaving their upper lip. This makes it very important for you to craft your moustache into a gentlemanly being.

Oh dear God.

When conversing with another man with a moustache, you should be able to tell whether this man is a moustache-wearing gentleman, or some bogan growing one just because their ‘buddies’ did or for free hamburgers (which, for those of you internationally, are on offer in Australia).

The latter are people who have little regard for the institution of the moustache. They also think a moustache looks good with a blue singlet. Which, incidentally, is punishable by forcible moustache-shaving in many countries.

Jeff Goldblum cultivated this moustache for a role he's playing in an upcoming movie. The role is of a droll scientist who saves everyone (but with a moustache this time).

As a gentleman, you are well-aware that a moustache is best complimented by a collared shirt and the musk of scotch.

But some still occasionally forget. Clooney was made to drink a whole quarter-cask of blended Scotch at the Reform Club for this misdemeanour.

Furthermore, the beneficiaries of the Movember cause are worthy. Specifically people suffering from prostate cancer and depression. Each gentleman may encounter these things in his life. On another note, you may also wants to donate to charities which help those suffering due to excessive Scotch drinking, excessive cigar smoking and syphilis.

Ian Botham pledges money to the Movember telethon with this leaked version of the iPhone 5.

When you wear a moustache through Movember and raise money for these causes, you can take the moral high-ground over anyone who refuses to participate.

William Shatner chastizes this man for wearing neither a moustache nor or anything else.

So there is literally no excuse to not grow your moustache this month.

If it's good enough for both Sean Connery and the Queen, then it's good enough for you and I.