I wish I had more recent pics of just us. All of mine are either of us when I was a baby or with family. You don't have to get formal--be silly, be serious (some dads don't smile and that's okay), be you. Put your arms around each other's shoulders and get that pic. He's proud of you, you know. He'll appreciate it and you will too after he's gone.

Talk to Him

At my Daddy's memorial service, I had so many strangers come up to me and tell me stories about him. I'd never heard these stories and saw how he was so many things to so many people. I immediately felt like I didn't know him at all.

Get those stories. Get those questions you've always wanted answered. You think you have time. You don't. My Daddy was 59 when he passed away. I have mountains of questions I'll never get answers to. He's your dad, but he's a person too. Get to know the other side of him.

Spend Time One on One
I live 5 hours from my family and usually see them on holidays or special occasions. Therefore, most of my time spent with my Dad was with the whole family. If we were alone, he was always asking about me. I wish we could have spent more time together, just the two of us.

We tend to call our dads for help, like to fix something broken in the house, but when do we hang out with them just to be with them? When are we doing what he wants instead of us wanting something from him? Hang out with him. It doesn't have to be a big production. If your dad's not a talker, that's okay. Just sitting there watching tv or doing something he loves will mean a lot.

Make Amends...if you can, and if you need to
Every situation is different BUT if it's something you've considered, take a tiny step in that direction. Get that dialogue started. Just think about it.

I'm lucky that I had a good relationship with my father, but it wasn't as I wanted. Don't get me wrong--my Daddy was an awesome guy. He was kind, always listened and gave advice, very, very smart, and was hilarious. The room lit up when he walked in, but he never had to be the center of attention. He was so incredibly handsome. But his death by liver cancer was caused by the way he lived his life, from his choices. It was always the elephant in the room. I wish I had talked to him about it, to have peace and just an understanding, instead of looking for that after his death.

So in addition to those silly socks, the snazzy ties, or the grilling paraphernalia,

think about giving him one of these "gifts" too.

If you have a dad, give him a hug. Give him a call. Tell him you love him.

I wanted to wish a Father's Day to all the men who have served as father figures in my life, like my uncles and especially my step-dad. I love you.

I am taking the rest of the week off for a beach trip--I'll be sharing my adventures on my Instagram, so I hope you follow along. See y'all Monday. Be safe, behave, and be well. Love, Elle

64 comments:

Beautifully said Elle! I think Dad's are "hard to buy for" because they don't need anything except to talk to their daughters and just feel like you still need them! I hope you enjoy your time at the beach!! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

Oh Elle, I'm so sorry you didn't get more time with your dad. All of these are such great things that not only should we do for Father's Day but just in general. I'm such a daddy's girl but you're right, I usually only call when I need help with something. Hope you enjoy your time at the beach!

This is so sweet. I cant imagine how hard this was to film with the upcoming holiday but you are so right. These are the simplest things that I think we all take for granted and overlook. Enjoy the beach girl!

Sometimes we take for granted the loving dads we have by our sides and thank you so much for reminding us to really appreciate them! I am so sorry this will be the first fathers day without you dad! You know he will be there with you though! Love all of these!!!

I loved this video Elle! I know it must have been hard to film this but your suggestions really are the best father's day gifts! This was a great reminder to spend time with your Dad and not take him for granted!

You are totally right! I'm sorry for your loss and I totally understand you. My mum died 2 years ago and I miss her every single day. Time flies and we don't realize that we should spend more of it with our dear ones.

Elle, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. You are absolutely correct, valuable time, more frequent conversations ... Are what we SHOULD give and what our dads really want - build memories. Love this post!

Oh sweet girl... you break my heart.But such wise advice. You are so right - I always remind men that HATE to get their pictures taken that its FOR their children. My brother refuses to get his picture taken. I begged him to take one with his daughter at their elementary school graduation - he wouldn't. I hate that so much... I have so many questions I wish I would have asked my grandfather when he passed too - I think people forget to connect on that level.My brother in law passed away in February with liver issues due to alcoholism... his 2 yr old son will have his first father's day without his daddy. Breaks my heart. Keeping him & you, & all like you that are having such a hard time, in my prayers.

So well written, Elle. (As usual!) I know this is a hard holiday for you, especially now as it's the first Father's Day after your dad's death. But you are so strong + you offer so much good, solid advice for the rest of us! You have a way of putting really tough emotions into words. Thank you so much for sharing this!

I was racking my brain trying to figure out what to get my dad and my mom said all he doesn't really care for "things," he'd much rather have everyone home together. While I did get him a little something, I know he will love having all of his girls home (I have 2 older sisters) for the day. Thinking of you this weekend!

love this- I'll be thinking of you sunday! we always try to do an activity together, besides gifts, so we will have the memories. Last year was topgolf and this year we are in hawaii so we are going to a luau!ElleSouthern Elle Style

those truly are the best gifts! My dad's dog died a few weeks ago and we found the only thing that could make him happy was when we came over or called and just caught up. He loved that! I will be thinking of you this weekend! Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to!xoxo Amanda

Awe this was such a sweet post and it really made me think of my dad because we don't have really any pictures together and spend that much time together, that is something I need to do this year. But yeah I'm sure your dad is looking down on you and is so proud of you.

What a beautiful, touching post. And, yes, these are the things dads cherish most--pictures, time together, heartfelt talks. My hugs to you on what I know will be a difficult day. T. http://tickledpinkwoman.blogspot.com

Wow, what a beautiful post Elle. I am always saddened by this but I commend you for handling such sad situation with grace. I know this weekend will be tough for you but I do hope you will be surrounded by loved ones who will lift you up and share more loving memories of your Daddy. The relationship I have with my Daddy has been great but I know in my heart, it can be so much better. Thanks for opening up…God bless.

This is such beautiful advice and sound like gifts that any dad would love to receive over the ties/grilling stuff anyway! I'm going to make an effort to spend more time with my dad! Enjoy your beach trip and I'll be thinking of you this Father's Day.

such a beautiful and touching thing to share. so sorry to hear about your father -- but i know his presence will be felt on Sunday. thanks for sharing some beautiful gift options. i think its important to be sentimental with fathers too, not just the mamas out there. thinking of you sweetie!

Wow, you are in my thoughts for sure this weekend. That was such a thoughtful post and personal at most. You're so brave to be open with your readers and I love that you gave these tips. It's a great reminder for everyone to cherish the moments you have and to not take the time you have with each other for granted. Love this. Keep your head high, your father is with you in spirit and will always be watching over you!

Awwww Elle thanks so much for sharing this with us. You're so right, those one on one moments are so special, and we really do take these moments for granted. Thanks for the reminder and hope you have the loveliest weekend!!

Lovely list and such great advice. I've always believed that it's the simpler things that matter most. Unfortunately for me I don't have that kind of a relationship with my father. He's not very fatherly at all.

I really am sorry for your loss, Elle. I hope your beach trip brings you some joy during this difficult weekend. <3

I am so sorry about your loss, Elle. You have really made me think about what's really important on Father's Day! Not gifts, but giving time and showing love and affection! I will be praying for you during these hard times!

Before even reading this post I thought about your dad's passing. You were such a loing daughter to him Elle, and I bet he was as proud of you as you are of him. Thanks for being so open and touching my heart, this Sunday!

With five of us kids, it's rare that there's a photo of just me with either of my parents. I realized that a couple of years ago so since then I've started taking more shots of me with each of my parents individually. I'm glad I've done that! We've been doing the same thing with Christopher's parents and each photo of them together has been more and more precious as his dad's dementia gets worse.

I am definitely bad about not spending one on one time with my dad. I should do that! You are so right. Thanks, Elle!

I always get my Dad a funny card and a serious card. He looks forward to it, and I write something in the cards. It sometimes makes him teary eyed. My Dad hates his picture being taken so that is out but just spending time means a lot to him.

What an awesome post. Yes these are truly gifts for your dad (and for yourself!!) that beat the socks and ties! It's so bizarre how similar your story is with mine (in regards to the feelings you had with your dad..).

I hope you made it through your first Father's Day.. MUCH LOVE!-Stephanie Eva