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All right ladies. It’s that time of year again: the dreaded swim suit season 😱. That’s right. The time of year when you probably feel more insecure than you thought possible. The time of year when you shutter at the idea of obligatory beach bashes and pool parties.

Just know, you are not alone in this. Every mom, and probably every woman, has felt shame over her body. Saggy skin, swollen belly, stress wrinkles. I could go on and on, but I won’t. I also won’t talk about how stretch marks are tiger stripes because no matter how many times I hear it, I just don’t feel proud about them. They don’t bother me anymore, and to be honest, I pretty much forget they’re there, but I would be lying if I said liked them.

I’m really impressed with women who love their mom bods. I’m in a place where deflated breasts simply don’t matter very much to me anymore. I’m not upset, but I’m not thrilled about them either. I’ve simply changed my focus, and I’ve learned to appreciate how my body feels, as opposed to how it looks.

I find I crave being strong enough to pick my kids up with ease. I want to chase after them without getting tired. I want to have enough energy to simply keep up with them all day. These goals are far more important to me than how I look. I’ve chosen to see other values that affect my quality of life, besides my physical appearance. I want to feel comfortable in my body more than I want to reach a certain weight or size.

I realized a few years ago that how I feel about myself is completely dependent on me. There may be outside, societal pressure to look a certain way, but I am the only one accepting those standards. If I have the power to believe them, then I also have the power to reject them. This has helped tremendously with my body confidence.

Who is anyone to tell you that you aren’t beautiful? Who is anyone to tell you to look different?

I don’t have the typical body that is valued in this era, but let’s talk about Aphrodite circa 15th century. Squishy tummy, grabbable love handles, simple waist, small breasts, no thigh gap in sight. If I had lived a couple of centuries ago, I would literally have the body of a goddess! So once I realized that societal expectations are arbitrary and will continue to evolve, I decided to no longer hold myself to those standards. I decided to live in a way that made me feel happy about my body and my life.

Now let’s bring it back to the beginning. Are you worried about this swim suit season? Is it possible for you to choose differently? I encourage you to create our own definition of beauty and happiness.

We only have one life. Are you going to spend it trying to live up to an impossible ideal, or are you going to throw your bathing suit on and jump in the pool? Who cares who’s watching? And to be honest, they’re probably so worried about themselves that they’re not even looking at you ❤.