When homeowners choose to work with designer Genevieve Gorder, they’ve got one of two options: either close your eyes, plug your nose and jump in or make yourself miserable with worry because you aren’t in complete control.
“Either way, I’ll give you a great room,” says Gorder, a former designer on Trading Spaces who now stars in the HGTV’s new weeky series, ‘Dear Genevieve.’ “We would rather spend more time working on the room than trying to convince you that it’s OK to change, but if you need that push, I will give it to you.”

Gorder delves into viewer-submitted emails at HGTV.com/deargenevieve begging her for expert advice about their most problematic spaces. But when she goes to personally solve the problem for a lucky online user, she often discovers the issue isn’t with the space but in people’s inability to define themselves aesthetically. Gorder just finished wrapping 26 espisodes and is enjoying time with her baby who is turning 1 on Saturday. We caught up with her in Manhattan to speak about the show which airs on Monday at 6:30:

Question:Are there common areas where people tend to have the most problems?Answer: It’s not so much a particular space as much as I see the same problems arising over and over again. The most common one is that fear of the unknown and of messing up and not being perfect. That perfectionism is difficult because it paralyzes people. Design isn’t a perfect science. It’s led from the heart, not the head. People tend to sabotage themselves by overthinking the process. “If I buy this chair and put it here, then the dresser won’t work and then I can’t buy that area rug either.” People create a series of reasons for not doing something. It’s a domino effect and they get stuck.

It’s my job to teach people how to approach design and how to start thinking (or not thinking) about it so that it can happen. It’s a gradual process of sculpting your house like a piece of art. You have to feel it and do it bit by bit and let things shape themselves. If you really love a piece, get it, and make it work around that. Sculpt what you want your life to look like. It’s a gradual collection of things that make you happy throughout your life. Your home should represent you, not page 36 in Pottery Barn. I get that picture thrown at me quite a lot, but I have to tell people that is not a house, it’s a set.

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Question: Give me an example of when you know something is ‘off’ in a space?Answer: I have met people that wake up in the morning and stub their toe on the end table by their bed every day, but they won’t move it. They will settle with something like that for 14 years not realizing that everytime it happens, it sets the tone for their day. Why do people settle for things that make them unhappy? How did they get there? They think everything else is more important and we put design on the bottom. Life gets in the way, people doubt their skills or they think it’s too much of a committment. But design is about taking care of yourself and putting yourself higher up on a priority list. Design can take care of you. I come in and wake up their imagination again and start that conversation about who they are and how they can make that tangible.

Question: How do you decide which emails to address?Answer: The emails are out of control! Trading Spaces was an amazing platform for me to step off of because the fans are really intense. I know when we first announced the show, we got close to 100,000 emails in a couple of days from people sharing their design problems. That tells me we are doing the right show at the right time and that this is something that people want. But if I were to go through all the letters, I wouldn’t have time to design. We have scouts who sort through them, and we look for problems that have greater revelance to a larger audience.

Question: Please share your favorite design tips.Answer: Remember that design is a careful balance. It’s not a theme, it’s a concept that drives the ship but doesn’t dictate every single thing. For instance, when using paint, don’t just use one paint color for the entire room. A balance of color in a space would be one with highlights, midtones and darktones. Texture and pattern works the same way. You can’t have a solid color painted wall, a solid color couch and solid color pillows. You have to give depth to the eye for a sense of richness and completion. Rugs and pillows are great places to add patterns. Use art work to break up blank spaces on the wall. Molding also gives texture on the top and the bottom, and are great architectural details around windows and doors. It’s often one of those missing details in these new builds.

Lighting can really define how we live in a space. Once you hang a pendant, you are defining an area where people should land. That light gives it purpose and focus. You are basically telling people where to go in your home without saying anything. All lights should be on dimmers to control ambience throughout the day and night.

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Question: Why is it important to include all members of the household in your designs?Answer: Everyone should have a representation of who they are from the past, present and future. That includes details such as photography, momentos (but not 500 pieces of a collection). They are conversation pieces that are memorable and inspirational.

Both of the parents should be visible in the house. That starts by having a conversation so that everyone can voice what they need from the house and how it makes them feel. That’s rarely ever talked about, but it’s so crucial. Men can be a little shy of that sometimes since it’s not the vocabulary and words we’ve given them to use. But the home is the only place where people can control their lives and all aspects of who they are should be accounted for. Both spouses need to have photographs of their life before they were together. Books, collections of things from their childhood…all of that should be somewhere accessible in the house. It’s the tiny details that makes everyone feel like they are thought of and special.

Question: What has been one of your favorite episodes and why?Answer: I loved the one with Michele Cancellieri. She had inherited her childhood home after her parents death, but she was afraid to make any design changes. She was absolutely paralyzed. The den was straight out of 1974 with easy chairs, wall-to-wall plaid carpet, even the same TV! She thought that if she touched anything in that space, that meant she was getting rid of Dad or removing him from the house. It’s common that people give life to a piece of furniture. It was almost a shrine.

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I have never experienced the kind of emotional load she was carrying, but she wanted to own the house with her life. So the entire show was this slow unraveling of defining who she really was through design. She came around full circle and it was like this life changing experience. She let go of the control and something beautiful happened. The house was no longer this constant reminder of who she was when she was 10 years old. The house was now representing that she lived a beautiful life for herself and her mother and father

Question: What do you feel is most important about working with and gaining clients’ trust?Answer: I don’t create shocking rooms just to surprise you. I don’t design at you; I design with you. Granted, there is a time in the process where clients have to let go and let me finish the project, but 30 to 40 percent is working in tandem which is crucial for success. So often there are designers who come in and say, ‘This is how I see things, and this is how it’s going to be done.’ But in the end, I recognize that you are the one who lives there and has to make the design work for your life. My team and I take that into consideration.

During our conversations, clients can say ‘No, I don’t think that will work,’ because that’s when the dialogue begins. Sometimes I do have to get heavy-handed because they have to remember they called me for help because they were stuck. It has to be a marriage between my solutions and their informations.

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Question: What’s next?Answer: I have a new line of products coming out. I’ve been in every one else’s home for so many years that all of my work has become this giant case-study. I have a bedding collection coming out with Springmaid.

And I’ve released some rugs and lamps with Klaussner Home Furnishings. I was looking for a specific price point that would be affordable, as well as specific colors and simple patterns I felt were missing. I focused on Venice Moorish accents merged with western details and stripes. I couldn’t find a stripped rug or a yellow one to save my life, so I have a series of rugs that have creams and yellow as well as patterns I’ve seen from my travels.

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Lighting is such an overlooked accent in every room, and it can be such a show stopper when done correctly. Most lamps are so traditional, so I think the lamp shade it what really make it pop. I wanted to create a sensibility with lighting so it surprises and delights like someone wearing a necklace in a room and you can’t stop looking at it. That’s what design is to me, to really look harder and find something you didn’t see before that keeps it pretty.