The criminally insane whack job that is wandering around the White House in his bathrobe babbling to himself and plotting revenge against everyone in AMERICA! who has refused to publicly swear allegiance to his throne is obviously suffering deep and incurable mental illness.

If CNN reported tomorrow that Precedent von Clownstick was found eating his own arm and laying in his own feces on the floor of the oval office with a greased woodchuck stuck in his ass, no one anywhere would be surprised. Anyone who’s read the newspapers in the last month would shrug.

After deep consideration of possible diagnoses available within definitions of disorders in the DSM-5, however, Stinque has decided that Precedent von Clownstick is suffering from all of the mental disorders ascribed to him and is generally demented and unfit to operate a bathroom without pictorial instruction, much less a country.

The only question is what has caused Precedent von Clownstick’s dementia at such an early age. We posit some likely causes here for your consideration: