Sunday, March 20, 2011

Freudian Slurp

The Department of Health Privatisation has been shaking its head in pained wonder at the unbigsocietal mindset of certain uncharitable persons who have questioned whether Matthew Freud, the head of a PR company which promotes Pepsi and Mars, is really the best Daveybloke's Cuddlies can come up with to instruct the proles about the virtues of healthy eating. Freud is married to Rupert Murdoch's second daughter, and has been known to fly Daveybloke out to Murdoch's yacht when the old boy feels like a bit of a chat about mobile telephones or something. "It all looks pretty incestuous, or at best not a very competent way to proceed," commented one Liberal Democrat, insensitive to Daveybloke's royal ancestry whereby competence is little more than an intolerable vulgarity and incest is just as acceptable a method of keeping the family in funds as corruption, nepotism or claiming one's wife as a parliamentary expense. A spokesbeing for the Department of Health Privatisation fulminated that privatising health projects was not the same thing as letting business take them over, and delivered a lecture on the natural affinity of obesity profiteers for girding the country's bowels into a great social movement. Freud's company, meanwhile, showed remarkable presence of mind by declining to comment until Daveybloke or Rupert can spare a moment to tell it what to say.