This story is so awesome! I love Demetri! I can't wait to read the rest of it you're doing a brilliant job!

SGreenD chapter 2 . 5/8/2010

I just had a thought running through my mind that scared me a little bit... you are not letting Dem die, are you? Cause that would be totally uncool

Oh, and to Solivagant, as you like to call yourself: You sure as hell know how to put someone down, now do you. What is it with you people? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Haven't you ever heard of the word 'diplomatic'? Cause it means that you can formulate your critic in a constructive yet FRIENDLY way. Although I doubt you know what friendly means. Really. Get over yourself.

So, your grammar is absolutely terrible, from the commas in the wrong places to the sentence fragments to the lines that make no sense in any world.

Second, do not reply to reviews in the story. That's what the review reply button is for. Leave anonymous reviews alone.

Third, "Okay, this sucked, but I hope that some of you liked" makes you sound like a six year old in need of mommy's approval. If you think it sucks, don't post. Edit and revise. And don't fish for compliments, as you so obviously were. People will review if they want to.

Story-wise, I didn't pay much attention. Quite frankly, it was boring, and the grammar was distracting.

Miranda.

SGreenD chapter 2 . 4/26/2010

Okay, so, first of all, I'm really glad there's a new chapter. Finally! I waited like forever. And second I don't think it sucked, I liked it, I really did.

And I'm happy to see that Dem's in the hospital now and that someone can give him blood... are things looking up for him now? I sure do hope so.

I DIDN'T ANSWER? Oh my god, I think I forgot. Did I? I think I started one, but had to do something else...

Yeah. Still grammar problems. You sound a bit...formal at times. It's like you're refraining from using contractions, which makes the entire piece seem rather stiff. There's a few too many commas in places, making it seem more like a run-on sentence.

One part that made me giggle a bit is the "squash my hand" part. I've always thought that squashing was more like smushing it flat. The definition from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary is: to press or beat into a pulp or a flat mass. Yeah. Don't think that Janis wants her hand beat into a pulp or a flat mass. Perhaps "squeeze" would work better?

Not bad, overall. The grammar, the "squash" thing, some OOCness detracts a bit from the overall effect, but it's a good chapter. Glad you updated. The Beta thing still stands, if you're still interested.

Just a little tip: Not many people like the review replies thing. If you've ever been in the PJO or Artemis Fowl fandoms, there's a few guides on how to write fanfiction. They almost always advise strongly against the review replies, unless the reviewer was anonymous and you can't find a way to get beck to them.

Swedish Girl chapter 1 . 4/5/2010

I think it was great :D Keep it going with this story :)

But, you need to work on spelling and how you write. Otherwise, GREAT XD

SGreenD chapter 1 . 3/26/2010

I like it, I really do. In my opinion Demetri gets way too little screentime so this is the perfect fic for me

I quite enjoyed the start of this story. I'm very curious as to what will happen next. You have quite a few grammar errors and that was distracting but those things can be fixed. I love Demetri - he's my favorite FF character! Keep writing please!

Kitty chapter 1 . 3/21/2010

Write more because I would really love to know what happens next. TY .

Not bad of a start, Of course, there's the typical grammar/spelling issues, but they can be overlooked. After you get a good start on this and get more comfortable, I'd recommend a beta. But it's still a really good start. I'm looking forward to reading more.