One of my favorite aspects of coaching is helping clients improve their relationships. Regardless of what they come to me for initially—whether it’s taking their career to the next level or improving their health—somewhere along the way, we shine a light on how they relate to the other people in their lives. It could be parents or spouses, friends, children, siblings or colleagues. Everyone has someone with whom things could be just a little bit better.

All too often, we want to change these other people. We want them to see things our way, to live according to our values and our ideas about how people should be. Unfortunately, this approach never works.