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#metoo – I was raised by a single mother who didn’t hide from me the reality of her life. I had a front-row seat growing up seeing her cat called, sexually harassed, shamed, manipulated, accosted, threatened, abused, beaten, raped, lied to, cheated on, and impregnated & infected with STIs by a lying & cheating lover. And while I was taught by her honesty and transparency with me, I was also the only one who was there to pick up the pieces and help her to move on….each…time… Trying to scrape by financially, we also took in foster kids from time to time to help make ends meet, and of the many abused children that we helped in our home, I’ll never forget the 13 year old girl who was placed with us in an emergency the night she was raped by her father…

So…I was raised knowing first hand some of the atrocities men inflict upon women in our “civilized culture”, and I took that with me into adulthood where I worked at family planning and in mental health for years, deepening my awareness of the scope and breadth of the problem. I’ve always felt most comfortable around emotionally intelligent people, so I have not surrounded myself with average guys. But over the years as I’ve come to understand more and more about my unique gift in this world, I’ve come to realize that it is to step up and help men learn emotional intelligence, character, communication tools, honesty, transparency, and CONSENT.

While in North America we have come far in the women’s movement, on this planet however women are still bought and sold like cattle, kept suppressed doing cooking and cleaning, and beaten and even killed at their husband or father’s whim. There is so much more work to be done. To me, the path forward for our planet to survive is to empower women worldwide with education and access to sexual health services and birth control.

I live in a machista & Roman Catholic society where I see every day how the women around me are suppressed into stereotypical gender roles. The average age of first pregnancy where I live in Central America is between 13 and 16. Abuse runs rampant in so many homes. So many women fear their husbands, have daughters are abused, and access to birth control is difficult, and support services are rare. The majority of young women end up stuck with endless childcare, no access to their own income stream, and dependent on a man who lies and cheats on her.

It’s sick.

There is a better way. When the masculine and the feminine can live together with each supporting and validating each other with non-violence and equality, then there is a chance for peace in the household and on our planet.

I’ve started teaching consent. I’ve started teaching emotional intelligence and communication tools. We are part of a great awakening in the world, and in order to empower women we need to help our men to deepen their emotional skills and ability to have empathy…offering a lifeline to help unlearn the tenets and cornerstones of misogyny and replace them with consent culture and nonviolence skills.

Reading all of my friends’ #metoo shares is a profound gift. I bow humbly to you in respect, gratitude, and appreciation. By sharing your history publicly, you normalize this conversation and help everyone to see in undeniable clarity the size of the problem. This conversation is of the utmost importance, and many women in the world are completely unable to voice their mistreatment for fear of being beaten, abused, shamed, or further violated in some way. What a blessing facebook is for those of us who can make use of it to open this dialog and create an air of support, validation, and witnessing.

To all of the people who are too afraid to share their own #metoo story, I invite you to send me your story, and I will publish it for you anonymously so that your story is out there and heard, but no one will be able to trace it back to you. Just voicing the experience can be a step towards healing and moving on, as well as the solidarity that can be gained from receiving positive support through other people’s comments and feedback.

Namaste

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Consent is not just saying and honoring a “yes” or “no”. It’s also about claiming your power to stand up for yourselfand letting people know who you really are rather than playing some role that you are “supposed to” play. It’s also about valuing knowing who your partner really is inside and loving the real them rather than some idealized image of who you want them to be.

Many people have been sexually abused, experienced sexual trauma and sexual shame. If you want to be a conscious lover you need to master the art of wielding the power of consent.

It’s A Double-Edged Sword

It’s a double edged sword. You both have to learn how to stand up for yourself and be your own best advocate and at the same time you need to learn how to foster and accept your partner’s giving and withholding of their consent to you!

The basis of all of it is believing that you have the option to state what you want and don’t want. If you are in an abusive relationship (or any relationship where your partner doesn’t accept your “yes” and “no”), then you need to get help!

Anything Other Than “Hell Yes” Is Actually “No”

When asking someone else if they want to do something (whether it’s having sex with you or having coffee with you), the proper thing to do is to take any hesitancy or indecision as a “no”.

In other words, if they hem & haw or give you a “maybe” or anything other than a “hell yes!” then CONSIDER IT A “NO”!

It’s best for you. It’s best for them, and it shows them that you respect them and that they CAN TRUST YOU.

Trust Is The Best Lubricant

Trust is the foundation of all awesome things in relationships. With it all your kinky fantasies and dreams are within the realm of possibility. Without it, your relationship and your happiness is doomed.

Don’t Live A Lie

Don’t live a lie. Don’t play a “role” that isn’t really you. Stand up for yourself. State your opinions and likes and limits clearly, and require the same from your partner. It’ll make you a better person and show your partner that you have integrity and can be trusted with deep personal intimacy!

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Semen (cum, jizz, ejaculate, sperm) is horribly misunderstood! Not only is it the very stuff of creation (means “seed” in latin), but it also contains at least 50 known ingredients that combine to make a veritable multivitamin, antidepressant & mood-elevator all in one.

Wow that a lot of amazing benefits!…but to reap them, you have to absorb the semen…and the vagina is super-absorbent to all of these compounds (also the anus & the mouth are absorbent, but a bit less so)! Scientific studies indicate that women who take sperm into their bodies are happier & less depressed than women who don’t get any of the benefits of semen because they use condoms!

Can Contain STDs & STIs

Of course, you need to understand that semen can contain sexually transmitted diseases or infections, so if you are not 100% sure that you or your partner is STD free, then don’t play with the semen! Infections can be passed through any mucous membrane like the eyes & nose (so no facials!) and also through the mouth, vagina & anus, & any outer skin if there is a cut or abrasion. If in doubt, go get tested!

But if you have a relationship where you are sure that you won’t pass infections, & you aren’t concerned about preventing pregnancy because you are using birth control or want to get pregnant, then bring on the ecstasy!

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When you have unprotected sex with someone you figuratively have sex with each of their previous sex partners. Whether they show any signs of having a sexually transmitted infection or disease, you simply can’t know.

More Than A Dozen

There are more than a dozen different kinds of common STDs. They can infect different areas, can be spread in different ways, and some can be cured and others can only be treated.

No Single Test

There is no single test for all STDs. Usually you just need a physical exam and to pee in a cup, but you might get swabbed and a blood draw also.

If you are sleeping with new partners, don’t be stupid…If you can’t go get tested together then use condoms for any intercourse, and don’t take semen in the mouth and make sure to keep it out of your eyes and nose (both highly receptive mucus membranes) at all costs. In other words no facials or tasting cum without having been tested first!

Even if you are exclusive and have been monogamous for years, if you haven’t both been tested then you really should go. What if you have an infection that you don’t know about and that you haven’t passed to your partner yet. Better to know and protect them from getting it in the future!

Relax Into The Juiciness!

You’d want your partner(s) to do the same for you! If both of your results come back clean then you can relax into profound and juicy liquid-sharing deliciousness! There’s nothing better than committing to such delights in full disclosure. It puts all those worries and concerns to ease and let’s you focus on the pleasure and joy of the sex.

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The A-Spot & Cervix are known as the Epicenter because they produce earth-shattering orgasms similar to an earthquake, and their source is the deepest part inside the woman’s temple. Most women never get to experience these life-altering orgasms, and most men don’t have the knowledge to know how to love her there.

Let’s change that! The A-Spot & cervix are amazing sexual structures that, unlike the penis or clitoris, have no refractory period–so after they yield an orgasm, there is no need to stop the stimulation! You can keep on massaging, and they will continue to produce the whole-body, spiritual ecstasy orgasm that we all crave!

How To Find The A-Spot

The A-Spot is located just on the front side of the cervix, in the pocket or curve of the vagina behind the G-Spot and Bladder called the Anterior Fornix Erogenous zone, or the AFE zone (google it!). It is known to produce rapid lubrication when massaged, so it is a powerful piece of knowledge for women that experience vaginal dryness! By even massaging their own A-Spot they can gain that delicious relief of vaginal lubrication that they desire.

Cervical & A-Spot Massage

Cervical & A-Spot massage should be done gently at first with massaging strokes that are light to medium pressure in a slow repetitive sliding or circling motion, not in-and-out like a penis does. They can take 30 to 45 minutes to achieve with constant stimulation, so you have to set your intention, connect deeply, and stay connected.

Women often describe them as a spiritual experience, like taking ecstasy, fusing with the world and releasing stuck energy and trauma. This is sexual alchemy here, so you have to be in a loving, connected, open space in order for the cervix & A-Spot to welcome you and bestow the gift of an Epicenter Orgasm. If there is any emotional distance, it’s best to do emotional clearing work rather than try to dive into these cervical depths.

Release Feel-Good Chemicals

Epicenter orgasms release a lot more oxytocin than clitoral orgasms, too, so the woman feels AMAZING and full of juicy deliciousness for a LONG time afterwards. Combined with the no-refractory-period and a masterful lover, she can have a 15-minute orgasm that will blast her into another universe!

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