Premier League clubs spend £835 million on some men

After another roller-coaster deadline day, Underground Magazine can confirm that Premier League clubs set a new spending record, shelling out almost £1 billion on a bunch of men.

Pundits were split over what this means for the Premier League season ahead, with Robbie Savage claiming that “some clubs will lose out while others will benefit.” However, that point was quickly countered by Jamie Redknapp, who alerted Savage and the rest of the nation to the fact that “some clubs will benefit while others will lose out.”

Amongst mounting speculation over some of the men’s movements, the FA were quick to calm the fears of some fans. “We know this is a confusing time, but rest assured that this changes very little about football itself in the long run. Most of these men will indeed continue to play football, but some will do so in different locations wearing different colours. Teams will still need to score goals in order to win games, and if they collect enough points from winning games in which they scored the most goals, they will win the league”.

“The FA understands that days such as yesterday, where rapid change occurs, can be difficult for fans to swallow. But after an emergency meeting we can reassure fans that for the foreseeable future, football will still be a game consisting of two halves.”

Sky Sports News have given in to fan demand and this morning began their countdown to the fast-approaching January 31st deadline day.