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Post nup, any advice?

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We've been married for over two years, with two year old daughter. Been through lot of fights and arguments. DH was wanting divorce all along. I've been trying to reconcile and DH is insistently pushing for postnup. Any advice?

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Postscript: While you're collecting information on your assets, also get a copy of his check stubs so you know exactly how much he's making and have documentation of it. Last but not least, make copies of your household bills and make a list of how much (on average) each cost per month.
The attorney will need to know this information for a document called an Affidavit of Finances and Expenditures which s/he'll file with the court. Getting it *before* he's warned of a divorce will prevent him from claiming he makes less than he does and ensure you get the child support you deserve. Again, best of luck.

I agree with May. An environment filled with strife is not the best environment for children, and if he doesn't want to be a husband, he very likely won't or doesn't want to be a father.
Do NOT, however, agree to be pushed into a postnup. It's clear what he wants to do is bully you into a less favorable position. If he's so insistent that he wants a divorce, I'd check martindale.com for a top rated divorce attorney in your area, contact said attorney, and file for divorce first. It is worth it to get a GOOD attorney, trust me.
However, before you contact the attorney, get copies of all your bank statements and investment accounts, as well as documentation on all your assets -- cars, houses, etc. If you have time, it wouldn't hurt to apply for a credit card in your name only, also. That way, you have all the information to present to your attorney (and a record of it in case he tries to hide assets) and a credit card he can't cancel or control. Best of luck.

Thank you for the advice. Yes, joselynahasty, my worries if that the post nup he wanted will goes against me in the future. I feel like trying to work on the inevitable with a thin hope. We tried to go to a counselor, once as he noted. He just bashed me all over, and dominating the whole session and doesn't want to return for future session. The counselor already has sense that it's quite determined to separate path. Situation is pretty complicated. He already put huge pressure on me that he won't let my daughter stay with me if I don't stay in the US.
may11jul13, thank you for the advice. I'm trying to gather myself to become stronger. I still have thin hope, but as days goes by it's getting thinner and i'm getting more sure that maybe separation is not that bad and maybe better.
Will try my best :)

I know you said that he won't go to counseling with you, but maybe you could go to counseling for yourself? To help you deal with the situation and process everything and find the answers you need.
Just one other thing to consider: I understand your desire to remain together for your daughter, but I grew up in a similar situation (as I'm sure many did), where my parents were fighting all of the time, and honestly, I was very thankful when they finally separated. It is hard on kids to be around all the fighting. I'm not saying that you should end the relationship, but it's just another view to keep in mind. Sometimes staying together is not good for kids.

Then I would say you have to do what is best for you and her. If he wants a postnup that much and refuses to even seek counseling, then, though I hate to say it, I would have to believe that once the postnup is signed divorce papers would be soon to follow. DO NOT sign anything that will injure you in the future just to keep him around right now. I am not saying don't keep trying to make the marriage work on your part, but don't let him push you into something that you'll regret later. If he truly wants a divorce, then he probably wants the post nup because he figures he'll have to pay alimony. And if he's not willing to put everything he can into making your marriage work, then he owes you that, at least. I'm sorry you are going through this! No one should have to! The best advice I can give you is make sure your conduct is blameless in everything, if for nothing else, then for your daughter's sake. Try to be the peacemaker, but don't let him bully you. My prayers r with u.

Thanks Joselynhasty. tried to talk in calmer situation, he wanted postnup and very insistent even though i have tried to agreed to what he wanted. but from his part, things won't roll until legal agreement is signed. Unfortunately I know that postnup or the agreement would be against my favor.
If I don't think about my daughter I would want a way out, which is easier and doens't go against me financially too. I fell at lost.
He doesn't want to go counselling too :(

See if he's willing to go to counseling with you. If not, then just try to focus on what YOU can do to change the arguing and fighting between you. You can't change him, but you can control your actions and do your best to diffuse the situation. When things are calmer, then take the time to sit down and talk with him and find out what your issues are. This may be easier said than done. Try to find out what it is you do that shows him love focus really hard this week on letting him know that you care about him. If he tries to argue with you, don't give in (really hard for those like me who have a temper!). Work on being patient, gentle, kind, and loving, and you might be amazed at the difference you see coming from him. I speak all this from experience. He may not come on board right away, but keep at it. If nothing else, then you'll at least know you did all you could.

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