When Mets players mobbed Johan Santana at the mound after his no-hitter Friday night, they were briefly joined by an airline pilot from Long Island dressed in jorts and a Gary Carter jersey. You can see dude pretty clearly in the video of the celebration, including the moment when a couple of security guards tackle…

Oh, 1997. Back when we thought murdering Vince Foster was the worst our government could do. Back when we could watch both Mad About You and Caroline in the City. Back when the Red Sox were so mediocre and uninteresting that over-the-jorts horndoggery could occur in a half-empty Fenway Park. These were the lean years…

Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns and the people who exploit them write in to complain about each other (or confess their own sins). This week: befouling USA Today's bathrooms, our most boorish intern yet, and more.