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Wednesday, 2 July 2014

And the finishing touches to the ideal diet... develop a stomach bug

I'm broken. I'm officially incapable of eating any medium to large amounts of food... in fact, sometimes even small portions are not good either. I want to say that this is a stomach bug, but knowing my body as I do, I am more convinced that it's pouting for all the healthy eating I've been forcing it to do. So, instead of filling me with cravings for food I can't eat, which it has now stopped doing, it has instead decided that I'm not allowed any food at all. My once depleted salad intake has now become even more depleted and I can't remember the last time I actually felt genuinely hungry and not just nauseous all the time.

As sucky as this is and as much as it is making me walk round in a perpetual state of feeling sorry for myself, there is a small silver linings side of my brain that is thinking of the dress and is excited for possible shortcut I may have found in the final stretch of weight loss needed. Although, this side of me is very small compared to the part of me that just wants to wallow in self pity.

You see, I do really love food. What's more, it's burger day in my work canteen today, and this day only ever turns up like once a month. The burgers are the most beautiful thing I've tasted in that place, and I look forward to this magical day regularly. Today, I had to go down there, look at it longingly and then head for half a portion of my normal salad, knowing full well that my enjoyment of that burger would be very short lived indeed, if I had opted for it. But eating is now no longer any fun. Even less so than the lack of fun I was having when all my food became boring and non fatty. Now it's minimalistic to the biggest degree and I'm constantly terrified of throwing up over strangers.

But enough about my digestive system, I'm going to go and stop filling all your heads with too much information. Sorry it's so short but I need to go and wallow some more... Much love!