The Biggest Loser Contestant Jackson Carter Blogs Weeks 1 and 2

Hi everyone, I am so excited to be blogging for TVGuide.com each week and hope you will all follow me on my weight loss journey.

What brought me to The Biggest Loser was simple: my need for weight loss and my desire to be healthy. I saw the commercial on my local TV station for the casting and thought I had way too much going on in my life to audition. But then I thought about it again and realized if I don't make the time now I never will. I thought this would be an opportunity for me to inspire the youth group I volunteer for (Ogden OUTreach Resource Center); I wanted the kids I work with to see me take the first step to a healthier life and hopefully inspire them to do the same.

During the casting process I was asked what an openly gay contestant on the show would look like. I said, "A lot like having an openly straight contestant." I really believe that we are all the same and that being gay or straight shouldn't define us even though being gay an coming out is what impacted my weight gain. I also believed it would be good to have a positive gay person in the media. So many younger kids don't have role models. If by being on The Biggest Loser would help me inspire even one person then it would be worth it.

During the premiere episode I was sitting in the auditorium with my mom and I had no idea if I had made the show or not. It was a long journey with casting. I was sitting there with my mom and then Alison Sweeney said my name and I swear I blacked out. I don't even remember getting on the stage. I just wanted to squeeze her to death I was so happy.

I have worked with kids for a long time and the issue of childhood obesity is rising, so the fact that I am a part of this season where The Biggest Loser is tackling the issue is huge for me. This is a conversation that has been happening and needs to continue to happen. I don't see one negative thing about talking about it or about helping Sunny, Biingo and Lindsey. I am here to help myself and also inspire others.

Page 2 of 4 - Originally I was hoping to have Jillian Michaels as my trainer. She has the reputation as America's trainer. My mom said to me, you want to be on Dolvett's team. She said he is dreamy with beautiful eyes, has a wonderful smile, and is a great motivator. When I went up to the lists, I went up to Jillian's list first. I figured my name would be there. However, I saw I was on Dolvett's team. I knew if my mom loved him then it would work out. He is now one of my favorite people on the face of the planet.

I couldn't wait to get into the gym for my first workout. I was ready to challenge myself. I really was on cloud nine. Right away Jillian got us on the treadmills while Dolvett was outside working out with the kids (Sunny, Biingo and Lindsay). We thought we were going to ease into it, but that was not the case. Jillian started yelling and I quickly realized I was happy she was not my trainer. I started to have trouble breathing, my limbs were going numb, the room was hazy and I started spinning. I have been told that I blacked out on the treadmill while I was walking. For two hours I was in and out of consciousness. I was mumbling nonsense. Finally when I opened my eyes I thought the paramedic was green. I passed out six minutes in and that was my first workout. All I thought about was how much I wanted to quit. I thought I would never make it.

Day 1 is always the hardest. I had to keep telling myself that....

During the Last Chance Work Out (LCWO) I started to get really sick. I just wanted to get through this to make it to the weigh in. I threw up all over the floor. I felt so guilty because I threw up on Joe. I was like "I have only known this guy for three days and I already was vomiting on him."

I was so upset because mentally I was ready but my body was not. It was a very eye opening experience for me. It was revolting and I felt like I was letting my team and myself down. Week one and I was already failing.

Page 3 of 4 - I had fun at the first challenge. They look so crazy on TV so I thought it was going to be difficult. But it was really fun to see the kids flying around on the rope. That was the first thing I enjoyed about the ranch. Lindsay and I hit it off pretty quickly. She was so interested in all of us and I knew she had been bullied a lot and I definitely know what that is like so I saw it as an opportunity. I always want to practice what I preach. I always want to be the role model that practices what I preach. Lindsay and I have the most different backgrounds out there (age, sexual preference, ethnicity, gender, etc.), but I was still able to find common ground and be a leader.

At the first weigh in I had no clue what to expect. I got on the scale and lost 22 pounds in week one. I almost jumped out of my own skin that was so exciting. I couldn't wrap my head around it. Such a huge reward after a week of hell.

Week 2

When Alison met us at the school in her football jersey and introduced us to NFL star Antonio Gates, I had no idea who he was since I'm not really into football. I think NFL Play 60 is such a cool mission to get kids active and having fun. I was so excited to see they were joining our mission.

During week one we lost Nikki within a few days because she wasn't emotionally ready to be here and TC went home because of a red line. When Alison says there is another red line, there is no way to talk your way out of it. That's it, your team can't save you. I knew I had to go into this with a higher weight-loss than one person.

When they introduced the outdoor working areas, I was excited because I thought this was something I could do. But I wasn't cleared. I just walked and walked - 15 miles. That sucked because it was a red line week and I was worried. It is hard to do The Biggest Loser without your family, and not getting to workout with my BL family made me feel isolated that day. It was a tough day.

Meeting Dr. H. I found out I stop breathing in my sleep for 41 seconds. To find out that my neck fat was suffocating me at night was shocking! I can't hold my breath for long when I try, and now I am learning that I could have easily died due to sleep apnea. As if I didn't have enough to think about already, that a lot to add to my plate. I also have Acidosis, which is why I threw up when I worked out. There was so much acid in my body that it was making me sick, and then I had reflux that made me sick.

Page 4 of 4 - During the week two weigh in I only lost 4 pounds. THE SECOND WEEK CURSE GOT ME. I had very high expectations because I lost so much the week before. I worked so hard. I even cheated some of my medical restrictions to do some of Dolvett's workout. It was so difficult and took me a couple of days to shake off. I felt like I worked harder than that four pounds. It just sucked.

So after two weeks on the ranch my current weight is 302, I am SO close to getting under 300 pounds. I was doing really well. I had to stay positive. I was sick but still finding ways to work out and do challenges. I wasn't going to let my illness be my roadblock. I had to continue on my journey.