Ramblings about words, art, books, the media and Golden Age detective stories

Friday, 26 February 2010

Crépuscule (Twilight, Dämmerung)

I found this poem when I Googled for "digue don don". What were Les Joyeux Turlurons singing? (See Tintin and the Picaros.) A very loose translation follows, as a lot of it is nonsense. But quite a lot of it is sense.

It’s 8.02 on the world clock
A four-handed thing brandishes a carrot and incites his fellows.
It’s 8.05 when the War of the Carrot ends, according to the scribes, digue don da.

It’s 13.17 on the world clock.
A biped brandishes an rapier and challenges the monopoly of the mammoth.
At 13.21, the War of the Mammoth is over, for lack of mammoths.
Its memory is consigned to the guardian angel who throws jelly in the glaciers, digue don de.

It’s 16.42 on the world clock.
A great feathery thing brandishes a sceptre with the horns of a bull and becomes ipso facto the equal of a god, incurring in the process the jealousy of those less equal than him.
The War of the Equals to God is terminated officially at 16.48, but that’s not really the end, faith of a friend. She trades under other names, burns Ireland and the hills of Sion, and each year kills a turkey, digue dindon.

It’s 7.23 on the world clock.
A laurel-crowned head drapes itself in a toga and sends legions in all directions. Their mission: veni, vidi, vici and fill their pockets with whatever they find.
At 7.25 the War of Veni, Vidi, Vici ended on the plain of civilisation’s remains, digue don daine digue don don.

It’s 22.42 on the world clock.
A hullabaloo caught the toodledoo and thrust his right hand into his waistcoat a la Napoleon. And in less time than it takes to shout “Armageddon!” he soaked Europe in blood and farted in the general direction of the Ural Mountains like all the others before him.

At 22.44 the War of the Last Fart in the General Direction of the Urals ended, and it would never have happened if we’d all read the history of what happened at 13.19 and 16.48, digue don date.

It’s 23 o’clock or thereabouts – the world clock is refusing to give the right time.
Beyond the burning hours, the last pacifists not interned are beheaded.