Ted 2 Movie Quotes

Ted 2 movie quotes provide another chapter of the story about one man and his teddy bear that came to life. The comedy film was directed by Seth MacFarlane using a screenplay he co-wrote with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. Ted 2 opened in theaters on June 26, 2015.

In Ted 2, living teddy bear Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) is marrying his grocery store love Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) and eager to have a baby with her. But Ted and Tami-Lynn soon learn that not only has the Massachusetts Government annulled their marriage, but they are not allowing Ted to be a legal father of their child until he can prove that he is a real person, not a stuffed toy.

So, along with lifetime friend John (Mark Wahlberg), Ted hires a beautiful attorney, Samantha L. Jackson (Amanda Seyfried), and begins suing the government for his civil rights. The battle will be a tough one, especially as it means Ted will have to prove he's a productive citizen, not a pot-smoking immature drain on society.

At the sperm donor clinic, Ted and John get themselves into a sticky situation when some hijinks make quite the mess. While John lays in pain of sperm in his eyes, Ted takes a breather to make a Facebook post.

Samantha: All right, I'm going to ask you a few test questions. Are you ready?Ted: Yep, bring it on.Samantha: You're on the stand, the DA says, 'Ted, do you consider yourself to be human?'Ted: Objection!John: Sustained!Samantha: No, the witness can't object.John: Overruled!Ted: Sidebar!John: Guilty!Ted: Speculation!John: Hearsay!Ted: Bailiff!John: Briefcase!Ted: Disregard!John: In my chambers!Ted: Stop beavering the witness!John: I rest.Ted: We can totally be lawyers.

A prep session for when Ted has to go to court turns into quite the charade in Samantha's office. What 'beavering the witness' has to do with anything is another charade entirely.

Ted: What is that? What are you doing?John: Getting ready, dudeTed: Getting ready, what do you mean? What are you doing with your hand?John: I'm doing this for you so when I get in there, I can just bust it out.Ted: What do you think you're at a Red Lobster?

While Ted and John wait to be seen at the sperm clinic, John takes the time to prepare himself for his upcoming donation. Ted cannot believe John would touch himself in public like that, but interestingly enough sees no fault in doing that sort of thing in a seafood restaurant.