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The Art of Independence and Aging

Elder Care Canandaigua NY

As your elder parent requires more assistance, you may start to feel like you need to do “everything” for them. In actuality, you want to do only what they can no longer do for themselves.

Independence

If you were like most teens, you fought for your independence to a certain degree. Maybe you pushed against your curfew time or argued for more freedom than your parents were comfortable granting. Remember this when faced with your parent’s needs to assert themselves. As Bette Davis so eloquently put it, “Old age isn’t for sissies.” Its daily challenges and changes that can immobilize even the strongest.

Helping your loved one embrace and realize what they can do on their own, helping them realize they don’t need you for every little detail, helps instill a sense of pride and self-esteem. Can they still piddle around the kitchen? Then let them. If their hands have gotten unsteady, the use of knives may no longer be possible, but you or your elder care provider can chop up vegetables and other foods in advance that your parent can use when needed. Is bending down to sort the laundry difficult on an aging back? That becomes a responsibility that you or your elder care provider will have to add to their list. But once clothes are dry and on the table, enlist your parent’s aid in the folding process.

Taking Time

Taking a time out to observe and make note of your parent’s abilities and areas they are challenged in can help when creating a plan of how to keep them involved and engaged. Talking through this process with your elder care provider can help bring greater awareness. As the old adage goes, “two eyes are better than one.” Your parent will want to give their opinion too.

A Different Perspective

Elder care providers spend their days caring for the elderly. They know from experience, the challenges each individual faces. They see the emotional rollercoaster. They know the time constraints family caregivers and friends face. Making a list together of the daily activities and how one, or both of you, will contribute helps to ensure that everyone is actively participating.

Besides the daily activities, don’t forget to include the special moments that make life so dear. Schedule a fondue party for Friday night and decide who’s going to prepare it and who’s going to shop for the ingredients and where is the best place that your parent fits in.

Many Senior In-Home Care services and products are not covered by insurance, Medicare, Medicaid or public assistance. Most individuals and families often need to pay "out-of-pocket" for some or all services requested. Are there other sources of financing available to you, such as Social Security benefits, VA benefits, or Private Funds?*