Wanted: Curious, adventurous, sociable individuals who dislike oxygen, feeling the warm sun on their neck when they are walking in the sunshine without a spacesuit and taking a dip into the ocean. Got an annoying ex (or mother-in-law)? Want to put 140 million miles (225 million km) between you?

If you meet most of the criteria above (or are just a crappy neighbor who gets in trouble for being too loud), you may be the perfect candidate for a permanent settlement on Mars! Yes. You read that right, M-A-R-S. The freaking red-planet!!!

A company based in the Netherlands, Mars One; is looking for four individuals that are up to the task of traveling to, and living on, Mars. However, if you get there and decide that red is a bad color or that the decrease in surface gravity makes your butt look weird, you are kind of screwed, as the return flight is scheduled two weeks from the first of never! That's right, no return trip for this flight will occur. The colonists that make the trip will ultimately have to adapt to the environment of the planet, which is frankly cold, dry and kind of rusty. (Literally rusty. Mars has lots of iron oxide. Hence the red.)

All satire aside (and admit, you love it), if you would like the opportunity to be a part of one of the most historic and important milestones for humanity, you can sign up here (for a small fee of $38 and a contract on the soul of your first born child): http://applicants.mars-one.com/

In typical hunger games fashion, the candidates

At the time of my writing this, the crew departure is expected to occur in 2022, with two prior missions (and 8 test flights) to set up camp before the crew arrives 7 months later. The first of these missions will occur as soon as 2016.

On the plus side, regardless of the schematics, at least Curiosity, Opportunity and Spirit will have some company in the flesh. The little green Martian men speak really bad human.