Timeline of Modern Dating

Spring is in the air. The birds are chirping. Squirrels are frolicking on the lawn. (Either that or stalking pedestrians) And what do we people do to snag the attention of the object of our affection? How exactly do relationships start here in the 21st Century? Let’s start at the beginning.

Upon being interested in someone, said interest is quietly observed in her natural habitat otherwise known as social media.

Step 1: Friend on Facebook. Follow of Twitter and Instagram. Do appropriate amount of “creeping.” (This term refers to the socially acceptable way of getting to know more about a person via the Internet.) After creeping, you then must figure out if there is enough reason to continue the relationship (as in go on to step 2).

Step 2: When (If) friend/follower request has been accepted, the appropriate amount of waiting time must be met before contact. If done properly, one does not look too eager (actually creepy) and not too long (uninterested).

Step 3: Now we get to the hard part. Now, contact is made. The perfect instant message must be crafted. Sometimes it’s just a simple, “Hey” or even for the more daring, “Sup?” Hopefully, if the contacting goes well, the “soon to be couple” can move on to step 4.

Step 4: After an extensive conversation of 20 questions, actual phone numbers can be exchanged for texting. This offers a more direct connection from one party to another. This method is also more acceptable to use for a date offer.

Step 5: This advanced step is for the boldest. Here is where all the hard work should pay off. The question to go for a movie or dinner is offered up. All there is now is to wait for the response.

Step 6: This step can go one of two ways. Either her answer comes quickly with a yes or no. Or after consistently texting for a few days now, there is no answer for minutes on end. It’s as if she has dropped the phone and ran away. And after that type of rejection, a little therapy might be needed.