9. Justin Bieber‘s entire musical career. Not because of his epic comb-over, the actual songs that he sings, or even because his website’s URL is www.bieberfever.com. No, Justin Bieber wins a spot on the top 10 list because of the tweets he twat at his 3.1 million followers while performing in the Bahamas this passed weekend:June 13, 12:47AM. “Club rush is open til two for the afterparty.”Wait a fuck! Justin! You’re 16, what do you mean, club rush?

One hour later he corrected said tweet and specified, “just checked my twitter…see u guys are thinking im in a real club. Club Rush is the TEEN club at the Atlantis. we are just having fun.”Whew! That was close. Still, fella Man Repellas, remember: you’re swooning over a sixteen year old. His balls probably haven’t even dropped yet.

(visit my alternate site at www.ilovejustinbiebersomuchiwouldsacrificemyfirstbornforhimtotweetatme.com)

8. Party in The USA – Miley CyrusWe speculate that every time Jay-Z hears Miley sing “and the Jay-Z song was on, and the Jay-Z song was on…” a little bit of his soul dies. On the bright side: soon she’ll be legal, and giving LiLo a run for her DUIs.

6.Tearing Up My Heart – N*SYNC Boy band! Look, I’m not going to disclose whether or not I’m listening to this song right now, but I will say this: when Lance Bass joined N*SYNC he was straight. We speculate that over the years, those synchronized dance moves finally got to his head. Or penis.5. TikTok – Ke$haI was repelling in Paris when Ke$ha blew up, but when I returned in December 2009, I heard about the new pop-queen on the block. After I saw the money sign replacing an S in her name, I was disappointed to find that she was white. And spends the majority of her videos singing out of the roof of a car, arms in the air, wind blowing through her hair.

4. Ironic – Alanis MorisetteAlanis Morisette spends the entire Ironic video sitting and singing in a car, with herself, four times over. Toward the end, she and her three split personalities start seizuring while they are “rayiyayiayng.” The alien version of herself, sitting in the backseat, wears a yellow sweater and has her hair in four braided pony tails. This song was a big hit among angry lesbians in the 90s and so, listening to it may have suggested that you too, (as many of us were) an angry lesbian in the 90s.

…to the average human. Personally, I think you ladies are freakin’ genius! Call me!

1. And it wouldn’t be a Man Repeller-inspired playlist withoutMC Hammer’s ” U Can’t Touch This.” In case you’re not quick on the uptake, Hammer called the song “U Can’t Touch This” because no one wanted to touch it.Balloon pant fail.Every song listed above was taken from my “Most Recently Played” playlist on iTunes.

Get in touch with us! ManRepeller@gmail.com and follow us on Twitter for a good time @ManRepeller

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Aw yeah… although I too have an Anna Wintour haircut… but with a heavier fringe. Does that save me? Oh NO!

Anonymous

oooo that lohan song makes me CRINGE. also, who writhes about on a grimy bathroom floor in a ballgown? its just not done

Elizabeth

As an angry lesbian in the 90's, I assure you none of us listened to Alanis Morrisette. We just mourned the loss of Riot Grrl and wondered if it was a good thing or a sign of the apocalypse that you could pre-package feminism for 12 year olds in the form of underwear-as-pants on the Spice Girls.