How To Stop Lying To Yourself And Others About Your Life

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.”

– Robert L. Stevenson

You have done it again. you lied.

You lied.

It has become your second nature and you do it several times a day.

Imagine greeting someone or having a little chit-chat:

“How are you doing?”

– “I am fine, and you?”

…

You would like to say so much more.

You are not fine at all, aren’t you?

You have been lying to yourself and others.

You hate to lie but you know that you are going to do it again.

You have no choice, do you?

What is the point in telling others your innermost problems and desires anyway?

Nobody cares and they have their own problems to worry about.

So it is much easier to keep lying.

But here is the thing:

It frustrates you, and every conversation seems shallow and somewhat pointless.

So does your life which is not going according to plan.

All those dreams you had simply couldn’t keep up with reality.

You wish you could simply say the truth and walk away.

Instead, you need to stay and listen, you hear yourself talking pointless nonsense and wonder when this conversation is going to end.

And here comes the problem:

This is supposed to be normal.

That is just the way it is.

It’s okay to lie.

It’s fine to be frustrated a little bit.

I am fine, and you?

(And the story begins…)

Now let us stop this madness by starting to look at what we are lying about:

6 Big Lies, You Keep Telling Yourself

So what is it actually that we keep lying about?

In short, this could be literally anything.

And more often than not, it happens on a very subtle level that can be hard to detect.

Here are some of the lies you probably keep telling yourself just for the sake of it:

1) I am lucky to have my job. There’s not much else I could do and it helps to pay the bills.

I should consider myself happy to have a job at all.

The truth: You do something you don’t like at all. You help to build someone else’s dream, not your own.

There is no reason for anyone in the entire universe to do something he or she does not want to do. You feel like you can never do what you really want.

You will never be excited about life unless you stop lying to yourself.

If your job decision is just reasonable, you better quit and start living

2) My income is sufficient. My parents have been poor and it is impossible to get rich with my background. I should consider myself happy to have this income which at least enables me to survive.

I should consider myself happy to have this income which at least enables me to survive.

The truth: Your income barely allows you to survive and not to thrive.

The natural state of nature is abundance.

You are far from living an abundant lifestyle and miss a lot of things because you can’t afford them.

Not having enough income is one of the main reasons your relationships to other people suffer unnecessarily.

3) My boss values my work. He needs me to stay where I am. He truly cares about me and there is no one as capable as me.

Although I don’t get a promotion, I should consider myself happy to have such a boss.

The truth: You do only what is required from you because you are not passionate about what you are doing.

You don’t show that you are bigger than the position you have. Therefore, your boss needs you to stay where you are and tells you what you want to hear.

You scare to move on and lose what has become a part of your identity.

Once you were excited about this new position and had to grow and expand to get there, now you just live the same old life instead of moving on.

In nature, stagnation means death because everything else keeps moving.

Even you are not moving back and just stop where you are, everything else keeps moving on which makes you still fall behind.

4) My colleagues value my work and I am a very important part of this company. Without me, many things would go astray. I need to do the extra hours because this is what is expected from me and keeps things ticking over.

I should consider myself happy to have so many nice colleagues and such an important position.

The truth: No one gives a shit when you leave the company. Except for some rare exceptions, the only thing you have in common with your colleagues is your job.

Some people work 10 years or more together without ever getting beyond the small-talk-level.

As soon as you leave the company, the foundation of your relationship is gone.

They are not your friends and you are either in or out, nothing more and nothing less.

The company existed probably before you and five years after you left nobody will remember you.

If you are really that important for the company, you should have no problems to find a better job or to get better conditions to make you stay.

5) My friends have always been there for me when I needed them. They really care about me. I should consider myself happy to have such friends.

The truth: This might be actually true, but not all of it. Here is why:

Every relationship starts because we have something in common with one another.

You might share experiences, interests, or common goals.

More intense experiences mean stronger relationships.

However, we often just like things because of others and to fit in.

You just need to wear your social mask called personality to hide your true self.

Over time you start feeling unhappy about it and may decide to replace the mask or to get rid off it altogether.

The moment you do that, something unwanted happens:

You undermine your existing relationships that have been built on your previous mask, “the old you”.

Your social environment may change significantly so will the people you hang out with.

You stop being the “old you” the moment you become aware of the lies you have been telling yourself.

All the things that have been precious to you before suddenly seem stale and almost unreal.

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About Rene

My name is Rene, I was born in Germany and have an engineering background. I like to understand why certain things work the way they do and why we act in a certain way.

Since I can read and understand more complex topics I have been interested in topics others wouldn't bother too much about and in becoming my greatest version.

I started this website in spring 2016 after I realized that there is more in life than just having a job and a career plan. So I made the decision to change my life and to share my story with you by starting this website.

My intention is to help as many people with their problems by showing them how they can help themselves. Sometimes all it takes is someone telling us that we are on the right path and are doing just fine.

I cannot present you the undisputed truth but I try to tell you what works for me or just FEELS right to write and think. Please feel free to share your thoughts and ideas as well if you wish.

Change your life now!

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