Misdeeds pave pols' road to hell

Every time I go on vacation, weird stuff happens. For example, who thought we'd ever see the day when a sitting pope would claim it's not for him to judge the misdeeds of Anthony Weiner?

Maybe I got that wrong: He was talking about the gays. I was on the beach, after all, and reception was poor. Maybe that explains why I heard former New York Gov. Elliott Spitzer, who left office amid a prostitution scandal, say he doesn't think the New York mayoral seat should go to Weiner, who continued exchanging raunchy texts with women after he was forced out of office for doing it.

Spitzer may have paid for sex, which is illegal, but he never sexted unsolicited pictures of his privates, which is gross.

Perhaps poor reception also explains why the mayor of San Diego has entered a two-week rehab so someone can teach him how to not sexually harass women on his staff. Apparently, some men require counseling to learn that it's wrong to lap at a woman's cheek like a Popsicle. Who knew?

There's no end to the arrogance of this trio, each looking for love in all the wrong places while expecting voters to stroke their egos, which are clearly enormous and thus eminently sext-worthy. These are men on a mission, trying to convince voters that while they may suffer serious sexual dysfunction that caused pain to their loved ones, they're still capable of groveling for large cash contributions and producing inane political advertisements.

Weiner has a new one. In it, he acknowledged that some people have urged him to drop out of the mayor's race, if you can believe it, because he keeps texting pictures of a certain body part that most females only wish to see attached to their significant others, if at all. He's probably still sexting as we speak, although he said in the ad that he won't pull out of the race.

"Quit isn't the way we roll in New York City," Weiner claimed. "We fight through tough things. We're a tough city."

What you mean 'we,' white man? Is Weiner actually trying to equate his propensity to promote his privates with the proud resiliency of New Yorkers?

Meanwhile, debate has ensued about who's worse. Sure, Spitzer hooked up with hookers, but at least he reportedly stopped after he resigned. Weiner did nothing illegal, but he kept at it and embarrassed his elegant wife, Huma Abedin. And what's her deal, anyway? Is she sticking by him because of love, a desire for power or for the sake of the baby? Has she been coached by her boss, Hillary Clinton?

Speaking of the Clintons, they're now using surrogates to force Weiner from the race, which is rich, as neither Clinton clothed themselves in glory when it came to sexual indiscretions. Bill lied repeatedly about his; Hillary threw Bill's victims under the bus and blamed a vast right-wing conspiracy. But now they're loath to get dragged into the Weiner mess, especially as Hillary may run for president, in which case she will never, ever text a picture of a body part. Women have more sense.

But it's been a tough week for Carlos Danger. First his campaign manager quit, then his communications manager used the dreaded C-word to describe a former female intern who wrote a negative story about the campaign.

It's time for Weiner to make a choice — perve or politician. He can't be both. He can't mouth public platitudes while refusing to change destructive old habits. Only the pope can do that.

But at least Francis has provided something sorely lacking in these narcissistic men, and indeed in the history of the papacy: humility. It sure would be nice if he could spread some around.