http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
THIS IS THE BUSY SEASON for the Great Mentioner,
the equivalent of late October for the Great Pumpkin
or early April for the Easter Bunny.

The Great Mentioner, first discovered by Russell
Baker of the New York Times, is particularly good
to lazy pundits in search of an easy column about
likely prospects for vice president.

Pundits and political correspondents are reduced
just now to either writing and talking about taxes,
George W.'s youthful drug/alcohol/ girl adventures (if
any), the continuing turmoil in the Democratic
campaign, the press releases that Pvt. Al Gore wrote
in Vietnam . . . or who the prospective veeps will be.

Such columns, usually Valentines for punditorial
favorites, invariably end with the throwaway cliche: "
. . . also mentioned are Gov. Elmer Whoozit of
Wherezit, Sen. Phineas Phogbound of West Gondola
and Gen. Jubilation T. Cornpone, the hero of
Cornpone's Rout."

Such essays are meaningless Valentines just now
because nobody knows who either Al or W. will
choose because neither man has the slightest idea
himself. Both men no doubt have their favorites. But
a lot of things can happen to prospective choices,
and some of them are sure to be bad, between now
and the end of July when, on the eve of the
conventions in Philadelphia and Los Angeles, W. and
Al will make up their minds.

But in this sultry season of the rockets' red glare
almost anybody can get the attention of the Great
Mentioner, even someone like Rep. David Bonior,
the Democratic whip who camps out, in the
observation of Norman Ornstein, "beyond the known
solar system." In this view, which nobody disputes,
the Great Mentioner gave Mr. Bonior his moment as
a Valentine for Big Labor.

The Great Mentioner was a little more serious,
though not a lot, with a mention of Rep. Dick
Gephardt of Missouri, the House minority leader
who has a much better chance of becoming the
speaker of the House. All that has to happen is for
the Democrats to win control of the House, which
they will do unless the Republican slogan of Vote
Republican, we're not as bad as you think works
better than a lot of people, and not all of them
Democrats, think it will, although a similar slogan in
the presidential race, Vote for George W., he's not
Al Gore, is striking sparks.

It's not much fun writing the same fanciful
predictions everyone else is fancifully predicting.
Anyone can (and will) say that Tom Ridge of
Pennsylvania, Chuck Hagel of Nebraska or Connie
Mack of Florida are keen Republican prospects,
since everyone has seen dozens of stories about
them, dissecting their views on abortion, the nuclear
shield, Social Security reform, and tax cuts.

Everyone is weary of writing about Tom Ridge,
which is why, for a fortnight, Frank Keating, the
governor of Oklahoma, was hot. But now, well,
maybe he's not.

Since this looks like it might be a BOMFOG
campaign — the acronym for the climax of Nelson
Rockefeller's "brotherhood of man, fatherhood of
G-d" stump speech — neither candidate will try to
keep the nation awake. Both Al and W. are looking
for pale gray running mates to deck out in inoffensive
earth tones.

However, an arcane issue will nearly always
disrupt the campaign, threatening a candidate before
quickly disappearing, never to be heard from again.
In such times a gray running mate can be helpful.
Henry Cabot Lodge, for example.

In that year (1960), Richard Nixon and John F.
Kennedy were thrown off their stride in mid-October
by the suddenly white-hot question of whether the
United States should risk war with Red China over
the offshore islands of Quemoy and Matsu, claimed
by Taiwan. The question was nicely put in
perspective when a reporter in Jackson with nothing
much to do asked the late, great Gov. Ross Barnett
of Mississippi what should be done about Quemoy
and Matsu.

The governor was ready for the question even
though he clearly had never heard of either Quemoy,
Matsu or maybe even China. "That's all been taken
care of," he said. "We found jobs for 'em at the
Game and Fish Commission." This is the kind of
campaign disruption a political correspondent dreams
of, though a candidate does not.

The Great Mentioner, being at least partly human,
naturally has his own sentimental favorites. Two of
them, according to the usual anonymous sources, are
Rep. J.C. Watts of Oklahoma, a Baptist preacher
who is one of the best spellers and binders left in
American politics, and Rep. Jennifer Dunn of
Washington, who is tough, smart, ambitious and
savvy and who can't help it if she's drop-dead
gorgeous in a time and place when and where
feminists say men are pigs if they notice. The ugly
little secret is that the Great Mentioner is a bit of a
male chauvinist his own
self.

07/05/00: No Mexican standoff
in these results07/03/00: Denting a few egos in the U.S. Senate06/28/00: Bureaucracy amok! Punctuation in peril!06/26/00: The water torture of American resolve06/21/00: The happy hangman is a busy hangman06/19/00: Dick Gephardt finds a Dixie dreamboat06/14/00: Taking a byte out of innovation06/12/00: 'Go away, little boy, you're bothering us' 06/07/00: When a little envy is painful to watch06/05/00: Fire and thunder, bubble and squeak05/31/00: South of the border, politics is pepper05/26/00: Running out of luck with home folks05/24/00: The heart says no, but the head says yes05/22/00: A fine opportunity to set an example 05/17/00: The Sunday school for Republicans 05/15/00: Hillary's surrogate for telling tall tales05/10/00: Listening to the voice of an authentic man05/08/00: First a lot of bluster, then the retreat05/02/00: Good news for Rudy, bad news for Hillary 04/28/00: The long goodbye to Elian's boyhood 04/25/00: Spooked by Castro, Bubba blinks 04/14/00: One flag down and two memorials to go 04/11/00: Consistency finds a jewel in Janet Reno04/07/00: Here's the good word (and it's in English)04/04/00: When bureaucrats mock the courts03/28/00: How Hollywood sets the virtual table03/24/00: Dissing a president can ruin a whole day03/20/00: When shame begets the painful insult03/14/00: The risky business of making an apology 03/10/00: The pouters bugging a weary John McCain03/07/00: When all good things (sob) come to an end