Jerry Springer

GSN (the network formerly known as Game Show Network) has lured me with its latest salacious-pleasure-of-a-dating-show: Baggage.

Hosted by the strangely endearing Jerry Springer, this program gives three potential suitors a platform for earning a date with an opposite-sex protagonist. But rather than strutting their stuff to woo the potential date, each contestant is required to reveal his/her liabilities. One by one, they open up small, medium and large bags (corresponding to the size of the “baggage” within):

– “I’ve been required to complete anger management classes.”

– “My longest relationship lasted three weeks.”

– “I like to go to strip clubs.”

– “I’ve been abducted by aliens.”

One guy even admitted he had a small penis on national TV (his transparency earned him a swift elimination – accompanied by a lifetime of ridicule from friends and family).

After the three contestants are pared down to one, the protagonist must disclose a piece of personal baggage, leaving the last one standing with the final decision of whether that baggage is a deal-breaker. Oh, the intrigue!

So why am I drawn to this ridiculous show, you ask?

Because I live vicariously through the contestants, having no baggage of my own? [stop snickering]

Because it sure beats watching the latest drama between Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin? [truly]

Because I am a game show junkie whose viewing resume includes The Dating Game, Love Connection, Studs, Blind Date and The Bachelorette? [I’ll never tell]