Wednesday, July 06, 2016

So I got (maybe) baby spiders in my eyes.It started earlier, I was doing a bit of gardening (which was basically cutting two dried plants), and as I left the hose to do its thing on its own, I went inside because I was draining coffee oil. I multitask, but mostly because I start doing several things one after the other and then have to run to move the hose before it spills, turn the oven/stove off, you get the point. So I was putting the last of the oil, when I noticed something moving right I front of my right eye, I thought it was a hair or a mosquito, but then I finally focused and ohmyfrikinggaaaaaaaad its a spider!!!!!!! A managed to put the stuff I was holding without freaking out and throwing it, and successfully smashed that mutantninjakiller spider with my hands, aaaaaand then I felt something in my eye. I ran for a mirror, because of course it could only be the baby spiders hatching in my right eye, and I would have to smash some more and then take a shower in pure alcohol. Turns out it was just the spiders web, the little ass had somehow gotten in my eyelashes and descended from there. I'm still looking into the mirror every time I feel something in my eye, but I'm guessing (hopping) I won't have hatching spiders waking me up anytime soon. I hope.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

So we basically become morons when we are "in love". Let's be honest, we all have done it, maybe not always, but usually we do, and specially when we are with complete a..holes. What is it about people treating us like crap that makes us dumber and dumber?when my friends seek advice in their love life, I'm usually very practical. Are you happy? Is he/she happy? Do you feel loved? Can you trust him/her? And stuff like that. But when it comes to me, I've found I tend to lie, a lot! And not to my partner, to my friends. I usually upgrade and adorne my relationship because I tend to feel ashamed. Yes, I get ashamed of my love life because it tends to be bad. Before I wrote this, I was having one of those rare moments where you are wandering what the fuck??! I'm I doing here. It seems the worst I'm treated, the more I try to hold on, and create a separate life than I'm actually having. How's that? Well, when people ask me, I only mention the good, and since the bad is usually greater, I lie. I exaggerate the good times, the funny moments and specially the romantic moments. I've had 0 romance in years. Well, I've been single for 5 of them, but I'm over a year in a relationship, and still, 0. But I lie. Everything is great, and beautiful and there is love all around!!!!! Yes, but it comes from my dogs, and mostly, my mind. So why? Why do we put up with such horrible situations? Not love. We become stupid. To hold on to the idea that the other person will realize what a great partner they have, how much you love them, and decide to change. Please tell me if it has ever happened! It doesn't. The worse part, is when it hits you, that those sweet moments at the beginning, was just him/her trying to make you fall in love. And once you fall, they don't need to try anymore, they forget about you, they only take. If you're strong and confident enough, you might mention it, and you'll get I'm sorry and I'll change, I'll make it up and give me another shot. So you do. But by then, you already know, it won't happen. And yet you stay. You wait. You hope. You hold on tight to the rare moments of affection and continue dreaming. By the time you finally realize what a crappy situation you're in, is too late. You are "in love". But the thing is, you are not in love with this person, you are in love with love, with the idea of love. And I blame, and always will, tv and movies. Yes, since I can remember chick flicks show us what love is supposed to be; you meet a guy, you fall in love, you might have hard times, but he'll realize how much he loves you, make a grand gesture and you'll live happily ever after. Bull shit. You meet a guy, if you're lucky his not a complete ass, and you'll have to work to make things work. But the chances of him (or her) not being an ass, are low. So, if you're lucky, you'll end things when they start to go wrong, and leave with a bit of dignity and some self love, if you're not, and usually aren't, you'll stay as you watch from some far away bleachers how your self love and worth go down down down, making it so much harder to leave, to end this soul consuming thing, and pick up what's left of you. So why do we turn into morons when we're in love? I don't know. But it seems like hold on to a dream, and overlook everything until we are in to deep, and can't get out.if only life imitated art. Or the other way around! We would be prepared (yes, there are movies out there not so chick-flicky, but few, and most do have a "happy" ending).All I can say, is people lie, at the beginning of a new relationship because you want to be wanted, and during a, usually bad, relationship, because they're ashamed.