Cheers To New Year's Drinking -- Without Alcohol

December 31, 1985|By Barbara Heinzmann, Hartford Courant

'Who drank all the mixer?'' That question was bellowed by someone at a home party where I had just polished off the last bit of ginger ale. And although I was drinking liquid out of a glass, another concerned friend at the same party asked, ''Why aren't you drinking tonight?'' How could anyone know or care what I was drinking? Why should ''drinking'' be synonymous with ''drinking alcohol''?

Anyone trying to provide himself with non-alcoholic refreshment at New Year's social gatherings will encounter an endless variety of reactions. Yet it is easy for those providing the refreshment to accommodate the wishes of the ''non-drinker,'' without making him feel like a second-class partygoer.

Once my husband and I were invited specifically for cocktails. When my husband remarked that neither of us drank alcohol, the host hesitated and then said, ''What I mean is some of us are getting together to share some pictures from last summer and we would like to have you come.'' He served cranberry juice and 7-Up on the rocks. No one asked us why we weren't drinking. Everyone had an enjoyable time, and we have been invited back.

Ordering non-alcoholic drinks in a bar or club can be an adventure. My first attempt was a quiet request for a club soda with lots of lemon and lime. I couldn't think of anything more imaginative, even though I had read recipes in a non-alcoholic beverage book. There was nothing non-alcoholic on the ''drink menu.''

On my next night out courage came to the fore and I ordered a Pina Colada without alcohol. The waiter shouted to the bartender, ''One Virgin Pina coming up.'' The darkness kept people from seeing how my face was glowing brightly.

For my second round I went up to the bar and ordered another Pina Colada without alcohol. What satisfaction as the fellow standing next to me snapped to when the bartender asked for $1.50. ''How come so cheap?'' asked the stranger. ''No alcohol,'' I answered with a smile and returned to my table. No red face either.

That bartender knew how to mix a non-alcoholic drink. He blenderized plenty of ice with the mix to dilute it. All mixers have to be diluted in ice or water or they taste like condensed soup or concentrated lemon. I have never seen a menu that says all mixed drinks can be served without alcohol, but I'm sure they are available somewhere. The names leave a little to be desired, however. What man or woman at the average business luncheon would feel comfortable ordering a Bloody Shame, a Virgin Pina or a Shirley Temple?

Whenever I am with my family at a restaurant and the first line directed to the adults is ''What would you like to drink?'' I answer with another question: ''Do you have a non-alcoholic beverage that is not carbonated?''

On one such occasion I was served an elegant drink in a hurricane glass. I learned it is called a mocktail and costs $2.50.

Presentation and equality of service are important. I have had stemware whisked away by the host when it was learned I wasn't having wine or a mixed drink and replaced by a not so elegant tumbler.

I'm not out to chip anyone's crystal with ice cubes, but I do appreciate being treated like the rest of the guests. A refrigerated juice, soda, mineral or spring water can be served in the same glassware the rest of the guests use.

Yet it was not so long ago when I myself sent the person with the quiet request for a non-alcoholic drink (beverage) to find a can of cola in the back of my refrigerator and hoped he wouldn't goof up the number of colas for the rum.

Then there was the time I urged the one who wanted to abstain to ''join in'' because I thought it the hospitable thing to do.

Since I started on the non-alcoholic route three years ago, I've had to rethink a lot of old ideas. I didn't want to crawl into a shell, nor did I want to be intimidated by peer pressure at social functions.

I have learned two important things: First, I can and do have a good time without alcohol. Second, if a non-alcoholic choice is available and given equal status when offered, many people will take advantage of it. So here is to anyone trying to get this social hurdle in perspective on New Year's Eve. Have patience, humor and any beverage you choose.