Monday, January 16, 2012

nowadays, we often hear that marriage would never last long. especially from west.

but why?

do you ever wonder that?

i had read bout this somewhere else, copied it a little for my acknowledgement. but now i can't remember the link. =,='

here is the research result.

“After doing MRI on
the brain of two lovers – they had been ‘madly in love’ for seven months during
that time. she found out that parts of brain linked up to reward and pleasure
– the ventral segmental area and the caudate nucleus- lit up.What excited Fisher
most was not so much finding a location, an address, for love as tracing its
specific chemical pathways.

Love lights up the caudate nucleus because it is
home to a dense spread of receptors for a neurotransmitter called dopamine,
which Fisher came to think of as part of our own endogenous love potion.in the right proportions, dopamine
creates intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention, and motivation to win
rewards. It is why, when you are newly in love, you can stay up all night,
watch the sun rise, run a race, ski fast down a slope ordinarily too steep for
your skill.Love makes you bold, makes you
bright, makes you run real risks, which you sometimes survive, and sometimes
you don’t.” [The Chemistry of Love, National Geographic]

Mind you that mentally-ill
people also shows high amount of dopamine in their brain, and scientists cannot
tell apart one who is mentally-ill and one who is ‘madly in love’ by just
MRIing their brains. Cool, right? The meaning of ‘madly in love’ is more
real than what we think of, as the brain chemistry of infatuation is indeed
akin to mental illness. Tak heran la, pijak semut pon tak mati, lautan
api pon akan ku redah, dan gunung tinggi mana pon akan ku daki. Do you
think an orang gila can make a sound judgement? The fact is,
when you are in deep romantic obsession, you just want to win rewards from your
partner due to the excessive dopamines, not objectively finding faults in him
or her as you claim. Of course nobody is perfect, there is no point in finding
every fault in your partner, and supposedly marriage is about
reconciling differences and accepting the fact that your partner is another
human being, inescapable from making mistakes. What I am stressing here is
that dating and hanging out are for mere pleasures, not finding the right
partner. How can something that is similar to mental-illness becomes a reliable
way to make your decision of a lifetime? So am I still not convincing? Let’s
hear further what Dr. Helen Fischer has to say about the chemistry of love:-

seems familiar? mind you that mentally ill people also shows high amount of dopamine in their brain. and scientists sendiri tak boleh beza yang mana satu otak 'mentally-ill' and 'madly in love' dgn pakai MRI je.

the fact is, kalau tgh madly in love, you just want to win rewards from your partner due to excessive dopamine,not objectivle finding faults in him/her as you claim.

“Most scientist who
studied love, divide it into three segments: lust, romantic obsession, and attachment.

The first stage of it which is lust
which is actually the sex drive. One of the things that men like about women is
their waist to hip ratio, which according to scientists, the desirable waist to
hip ratio is point seven. Women are attracted to man with broad shoulders and
rugged features, all showing a great deal of testosterone.

The second stage of
love is romantic passion, and the same chemicals are involved when a person is
in love is when they are high on Amphetamine [dopamine stimulus] , and the
scientists are speculating that it ends after about four years, and that’s
because that is the amount of time that it takes for a human baby to become
‘viable’.

And two things happen, either the couple separate or they stay
together in long term relationship.

That third stage is called attachment and
there is a different chemical in brain that is involved in a long-term
relationship, which is called oxytocin, and that causes one to
feel very calm and soothe. Emily and Brian of Ohio had been married for 60
years and have twenty children. They were to me sort of perfect example of this
long-term relationship attachment.” [The Chemistry of Love, National
Geographic]

So, according to scientists, this romantic passion can only last at
maximum for four years, but they don’t quite know why yet – biology is always
vague.

So what makes a relationship last long is this feeling of attachment to your partner like you have for your parents, friends, and family, not the romantic passion during those couple .

There is no similarity at
all between these two chemicals;

in fact, their purposes are actually the
opposite to each other. So only a fool would think that romantic
passion is the mechanism that should be used to find a suitable partner. It is
like trying to use a hammer to cut your finger nail.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

in sisterhood rules, never ever text-going out-calls-konon nk tolong-flirt with your bestfriend's crush. never ever do that. eventhough she's asking your help to get that guy number. help-but just stop at there.

but, hell yes. i've found one.

fcuk you,b***h.

she's your bestfriend.
eventhough thet never been together but you are there listening every words from her heart bout that lovely jerk guy.

yeah.
i also have finals exam starting last weeks. 2 downs. 4 more to go.

and my laptop is gone. i had asked mael bout it. he took ma lappy away. and will be bored to death at my home tonyte. why? coz the virus starting to conquered and diminished my laptop. it bug me like hell.

and last but not least, i miss him so much. it had been FOUR months already. what i am afraid the most, is that i am starting to forget how he smile.

marilah menabung bersama sama :)

Awesome Guest

penulis blog ini. ini sahaja.

i say,

"I write deeply from my own heart. I choose to write everything here because i know one day i'm gonna reminisce all the things i wrote in here. and i'm gonna say, "what was i thinking? writing things like this. duhhh yana."