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Negotiation is a scary thing. Whether you’re a college grad advocating for a salary bump for the first time, or a seasoned employee who needs to convince their bosses to allocate a bigger budget for training and development–it’s a situation filled with nerves, personality clashes, egos, and uncertainties.

Yet it’s something that all of us have to do, and the only way to do it successfully is if we know how we can leverage our strengths as best as we can in the situation that we’re in. Fast Company reached out to negotiation experts to learn how our personality traits can affect our negotiation styles, and why a collaborative “win-win” approach isn’t always the most effective.

You know those people with a seemingly magnetic force that attracts all types of people? Whether they’re engaging you in a light and friendly chat or a meaningful conversation, they just seem to have a presence you wish you had. It’s easy to sum it all up and say that some people just have it, and others just don’t, but that’s an unproductive way of thinking about it. There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t also be the type of person who charms the pants off of everybody.

If you consider yourself to be socially awkward, or just chronically shy , you may feel like it takes a lot of effort to have engaging interactions with others. For me, I know if the person I’m talking to seems uncomfortable, I start to think that I’ve offended or bored him. Is he thinking about his to-do list right now? Am I that lame? Without some type of visible reassurance telling me the person I’m speaking with is enjoying the conversation, I struggle to be present and am bound to forget about the individual.

Find it hard to advocate for yourself? You’re not alone. The personality trait that psychologists call “agreeableness” describes how motivated you are to get along with other people. If you’re highly agreeable, that motivation can sometimes prevent you from sticking up for your own interests. Anytime you ask for something at work, you run the risk that you’ll be told “no”–and possibly aggravate the person you’re asking. As a result, agreeable people may be put off from asking in the first place.

This can be a problem, because research suggests that agreeable people tend to make less money than disagreeable people (even accounting for the fact that disagreeable people lose their jobs more often). And in leadership roles, agreeable people may not be as good at getting their teams all the resources they need. So what can you do to be more assertive even when it just isn’t in your personality to do so? Here are a few tips.