The head of the FCC appears to be a total fuck-up. Considering this is the FCC, I’m not surprised. He basically faked reports that would force cable companies to provide a la carte pricing to consumers. And in a match-up between cable companies and the government, man it’s hard to find a horse worth backing, isn’t it? You just sort of hope they wipe each other out in any war they endeavor to wage. Anyway, my favorite bit is in the article is this:

“It appears that the committee did not find or conclude that there were any violations of rules, laws or procedures following a yearlong investigation,” FCC spokesman Robert Kenny said. “Chairman Martin has followed the same procedures that have been followed for the past 20 years by FCC chairmen, both Democratic and Republican alike.”

So according to Robert Kenny, making shit up is a two-decade long legacy at the FCC. That’s probably the most honest thing we’ll hear from the government this week. Although it took them a year to figure out that somebody in the government was lying? Next we’re going to get our tax dollars spent to prove that water is wet. Never mind, I think that’s underway in a lab in Ohio right now.

Betty Thomas is going to direct Alvin and the Chimpunks: The Squeakuel. You don’t need to know that, but you do need to know why the baby Jesus is sobbing his eyes out right now. So. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Jeremy Clarkson has been cleared for the crime of offending 339 people. Apparently the storm of humorless people in the UK continues. Guys, you need to cut this shit out–you’re making my country look well-adjusted. Source: Telegraph.

James Gray (Little Odessa) will helm The Lost City of Z with Brad Pitt on board to star as Percy Fawcett, British soldier/spy. Based on a non-fiction book, he and his son apparently disappeared in the Amazon looking for some advanced civilization he could have sworn was there, called Z. How have I never heard of this story before? I mean, I listen to Coast to Coast AM religiously. I should have heard this five or six times by now. Weird. Source: Variety.