Changes — inner, outer, for better or for worse

Month: December 2015

On my first, and perhaps only, visit to Cold Spring, I searched for a little something commemorating the disappointing day trip up the Hudson. The leaves had not turned and antique shops resembled secondhand flea markets. I stumbled upon a quaint shop devoid of customers. A bell tinkled when I opened its door. The scent of leather greeted me as well as rows of colorful leather goods. I tried on a pair of gloves. Buttery leather embraced my fingers and I knew I had found my souvenir. They remain unworn, for like the foliage had stalled, so has the cold weather.

She waited for the moment she’d be discovered. Her brilliance finally exposed to the world. The fantastical words she hammered and shaped entrancing all who heard them. The words, though, existed only in her head. Whenever she held pen in hand, she froze and for as much as the words danced melodically in her head, they didn’t transition to her hand. So she’d stare at blank pages, heart palpitating, and she’d remember that fear existed at the core of her essence. Fear to be exposed as a wannabe artist imitating another’s brilliance. Better to wait than stumble over and over.

Could rules suppress the soul without the soul’s realization? The obedient girl walked a narrow line. She met expectations, fulfilled her responsibilities, excelled in her life. If she were to stand at that moment before her maker, the pearly gates would open wide, and the angels would sing their welcome. But for all her dutiful accomplishments, she didn’t know her true sense. What makes her tick? Who is she outside of rules? Every so often, a yearning bubbled up. A yearning for what she knew not. She’d suppress it with a sip of Chai tea because it’s good for you.