So news is out that Akanishi Jin, who by the look of things spent the better part of his adult life taking his, uh, WildOatsMobile for more Test Drives than he can probably remember, is now a Married Man – and maybe a Dad-to-Be as well, with brand-new wifey Kuroki Meisa rumored to be a couple of months impregnito (lol). Shocker, I know. (While Meisa’s condition isn’t official (yet), her abrupt cancelation of all media and event appearances a few days before the Feb. 15 launch of her new album has kept the grapevine buzzing and those raised eyebrows, well, raised.)

The Little Dorama Girl turned two a few days ago (um, yay), although I know that things have been a little quiet on the bloggy front the past year. To be honest I haven’t had much progress with my drama To-Watch and review To-Write lists due to (what else?) Real Life obligations. But I hope that my 22 regular readers (down 2 from 24, ohnoes!) find themselves in a forgiving mood as they read this. THANK YOU for continuing to patronize my daft fangirly drivel, really I mean it. I don’t know if you notice, but I totally feel yer lurrve each time you drop me a line! Your comments brighten up my day, and that’s a fact. =D (And – dammit lurkers, STOP HIDING IN KAMENASHI’S CLOSET! lol)

So I hope you’ll enjoy what I’ve cooked up for my Second Anniversary Offering. Then again, maybe you’ll read this and curse the day you chanced upon my site, hahaha. But it’s Johnnies who got me blogging, and by gum, it’s Johnnies who’ll KEEP me going. I owe their skinny, tinsel-clad heinies more than most people give them credit for, so this post is for them – and for you, if you can, uh, keep an open mind while reading. This is something I’ve never tried before, but DAYYUM I HAD FUN WRITING IT SO THERE!!!

xoxo Ender’s Girl

*cue fairytale-y music*

Hello, I’m Ender’s Girl. For centuries, storytellers have spun their tales of magic and enchantment for the young at heart. There’s something about fairy tales that feels so familiar and universal, regardless of culture or clime. Some of these tales are funny, some are scary, and some romantic. But whatever the setting, these classic stories never fail to enthrall and entertain us – whether in their original form, or as modern-day retellings given a feminist twist, like Angela Carter’s “The Bloody Chamber,” or a satirical spin, like James Finn Garner’s “Politically Correct Bedtime Stories.”

I’ve taken the liberty of adding my own voice to the growing potpourri of contemporary fairy tale adaptations. So sit back and relax, and enjoy my collection of familiar stories – like you’ve never known them before:

A poor aspiring performer learns that with patience, hard work and a little magic, musical dreams really do come true, in “Jinderella.” A wooden puppet who yearns to be a real boy sets out on the journey of his life, in “YamaPinocchio.” And a beautiful kabuki princess fleeing great danger crosses paths with five multi-talented, chain-smoking miners who may just change her life forever, in “Matsu and the Five SMAPs.”

What things can we do right now.Let’s all do what we can now.Whether that’s donating or turning off your electric switches.Actions like that contribute even just the tiniest bit to the hope of tomorrow.We can put all of our efforts together.We can bring our hearts together.Let’s do it everyone!!!SMAP

Well well well, looky looky! Guess whose latest single (from their 2010 studio album No More Pain) sold 118,000 copies on its first day and went on to become the group’s 13th consecutive single to top the weekly Oricon charts????? *pauses for breath*

Ah, the purchasing power of KaT-TUN* fangarls the world over!!!

*I refuse to accept Kamenashi’s co-opting of Jin’s “A” — and Johnny K. can’t make me! I’m no fan of Jin’s, but by gum, the dude earned that “A is for Akanishi” through his blood, sweat and… er, lovejuice, and member or not, he oughtta be allowed to take the damn letter with him all the way to Eeemrricaa! *pounds gavel*

Anyway. Leave it to our favorite JE muffinboys to pick the most grandiloquently titled ditties to sing. They already threatened vowed to “make it worldwide” in their song “Gold”, so why not “change your world” while they’re at it? Or is it possible that Kame & his four backdancers — hehehe, jez kiddin’ – I meant Kame & Co. are feeling extra competitive now that ex-mate Jinny Boy is in the thick of his equally ambitious-sounding Yellow Gold 3010 U.S. tour? Did the remaining KaT-TUN members construe this as Jin throwing down the (pink sequin-studded) gauntlet to – what, an Auto-Tune sing-off? (bwahahaha) Fancy that, five Johnnies and their former leader, vying for global supremacy — one heavily synthesized cheesygay pop tune at a time. The very fate of JE fandom hangs in the balance! Let the JE Hunger Games begin!!! *honks on rusty vuvuzela*

So sit back, relax, and feel the sheer diastrophic powers of KaT-TUN’s latest single re-shape the very foundations of your world!!! (NOT. As if. Hahahahah you be trippin’ again, Johnny-san?)