Newspaper Page Text

Page
Eight
The
ENDICOTT
BULLETIN
\YOUTJJRJL
SANG
FROlD.
E/tn
Fifty,
Catr,
Mor«
or
Less,
Failed
to
Disturb
Jessies
Serenity.
She
was
an
extreme
example
of
the
modern
child/
Afthoug^h
tier
years*
were
few,
sMe
^seemea
the*^rfect
mistress
of
every
situation.
[>ressed
v
in
an
extreme
frock,
she
reclined
gracefully
in
a
chair.
entertaiuin,g|the
caller
until
her
mother^app^t£ed.
'
\1
see
.VouVUfce-ea-^s-,'-'
said
j&e
caller,
who
had
observed
two
white
kittens
tumbling
about:*
the
rug
iu
the
next
room.
\Oh
yes.
in
reason,\
answered
the
modern
one
in
her
blase
voice.
\1
do
not
object
to
two
or
even
three
cats.
But
when
you
have
as
many
as
the
woman
who
bad
the
place
next
to
us
the-seashore
last
summer
it
becomes
urinoyingj\
v
\Did
have
too
many
pets?\
\She
had
fifty
cats-fifty
large
black
cats.
They
used
to
sit
in^a
row
on
our
front
lawn
every
evening,
and
you
could
see
their
green
eyes
gleam
ing
a
mile
away.
It
was
too
uncanny.\
•'Oh^Jessie!\
exclaimed
the
visitor
involuntarily
\You're
exaggerating
dreadfully
No
woman
ever
had
fifty
cats.\
.lessie
stared
levelly
into
the
caller's
eyes.
\Or
more.\
she
said
nonchalantly—
\fifty
or
more.\-New
York
Times.
Lesser
Evil.
The
mun
fi*om
Glasgow
had
suffered
grievously
in
crossing
the
channel,
and
when
he
next
had
occasion
to
repeat
th«'
J[
ourne
.
v
ne
DOt
mtend
that
there
should
be
so
much
acute
physi­
cal
discomfort
attached
to
it
So
he
marched
into
a
chemist's
shop.
\Have
ye
ouything
to
stay
the
pangs
of
seasickness?\
he
asked
in
his
win
niug'
Glasgow
accent^
_
_
\Certainly
sir;
we
-nave
the
very
thing.\
said
the
obliging
druggist.
~
Ti
BToo
mucffTs
~frT\
\Half
a
crown,
sir
\
The
Glasgow
man
staggered
back
a
pace,
visibly
shaken
\Losh.\
he
Hasped
wben^
he
recovered
himself.
\1
would
sooner
be
seasick.\-London
Mirror.
Cart
Before
Horse.
Dan
Daly
once
essayed
the
legiti­
mate.
\t
was
in
his
early
days.
All
he
had
to
do
was
to
come
to
the
cen
ter
of
the
stage
at
a
critical
moment
and
shoufcr\\*
~—^
\The
King
is
dead!
Long
live
the
king\
When
the
time
0
came
Mr
Daly
promptly
assumed
the
correct
dramatic
pose,
but
for
a
.moment
was
so
agi
tated
that
words
failed
him.
Then
he
bellowed
at
the
top
of
his
voice:
\Long
live
the
king—he
's
deadl\-
Chicago
News.
Like
Draws
Like.
The
superintendent
of
a
lunatic
asy­
lum
was
strolling
round
the
grounds
a
few
weeks
after
his'
appointment,
when
one
of
the
inmates
came
up
to
him
and,'
touching
his
hat.
exclaimed:
\We
all
like
you
better
than
the
last
one,
air.\
•'Thank
\you
said
the
new
official
pleasantly.
\And\
may
T
ask
why?\
\%eU.
sir,\
replied
the
lunatic,
\you
see,
you
are
more
like
one
hi
us.\—
Kansas
City
Star.
Infielders
and
Outfielders.
It
would
take
a
modern
Solomon
to
select
the
premier
ball
player
from
the
galaxy
of
headliners.
Leaving
out
tbe
twirlere
and
the
heavy
stickers,
^nd
taking
only
the
field
work
of
the
Slayers
at
large
into-
consideration,
I
bg.ve
#
found
that
'a
majority
of
fans
agree
on
the
proposition
that
infielders
are
more
useful
than
outfielders,
and
that,
If
a
man
to
\sland'aTtfie
\head
\5T
the
baseball
class
is
selected
'for
his
general
usefulness,
he
will
be
chosen
from
among
the
merfc
covering,
first
second,
third
or
short.
Take
*Cobb
an$
Collins,
f(yr
-44istahce.
who
are
wonders
at
fielding
their
positions.
Last
year
Cobb
had
300
chances
to
retire
bats­
men
and
Collins
had
804.
Speaker,
out
among
the
daisies,
had
488
opportuni­
ties
to
make
errors,
while.
Weaver
had
980,
and
Mclnnes
1,595
chances.—Ed
A.
Goewey
in
Leslie's.
A
Bargain-in-Pearls.
Five
fine
pearls
for
2
cents
apiece
was
the
bargain
picked
up
by
Miss
Grace
Lane
shortly
before
the
war
broke
out.
Passing
down
a
busy
street
In
London,
she
saw
_a-p«id^ep
with
a
trayful
of
pearls'
and
a
placard
in­
scribed,
\Real
Pearls—Two
Cents
Each.\
Afterward
she
found
that
they
were
worth
$50
apiece.
A
jeweler
had
hawked
the
pearls
around
to
win
a
wager,
firmly
convinced
that
nobody
would
believe
they
were
real,
and
so
nobody
would
buy
them.
Windy
Adelie
Land.
The
windiest
region
of
the
world
of
which
we
have
any
knowledge
appears
to
be
the
coast
of
Wllkes^
Land,
where
Dr.
Mawson's
expedition
recently
spent
two
years.
Records
at
Adelie
Land
for
1912
showed
an
average
wind
velocity
throughout
the
year
of
about
forty-
height
miles
an
hour,
while
velocities-
of
100
miles
an
hour,
were
common.
Caution.
A
Pennsylvania
farmer
was
the
owner
of
a
good
Alderney
cow.
A
rtranger.
having
admired
the
animal,
asked
the
farmer.
\What
will
yfoi
take
for
your
cow?\
The
farmer
scratched
his
head
for
a
moment,
and
then
said.
\Look
a-here:
be
you
the
tax
assessor
or
has
she
been
killed
by
the
railroad?\—Argonaut
Why
Worry?
She
was
very
much
in
love
with
him,
and
one
evening,
while
they
were
alone,
she
asked:
\Frank
tell
me
truly:
you
have
kissed
other
girls,
haven't
you?\
\Yes.\
replied
the
young
man.
\but
no
one
you
know.\-New
York
Times.
Not
Getting
Next.
you
enjoy
getting
next
to
\Don't
nature?\
*
\Only
in
a
general
way.\
replied
Mr.
Growcher.
\When
some
of
j:be
details
of
nature
loom
up.
such
as
n
wasp
or
a
hornet,
1
want
to
keep
my
distance.\
-Washington
Star.
J
Not
So
Bad.
\1
hear
that
Bobby
Bings
is
ac­
cused
of
being
.bibulous.\
\Nothing
of
the
sort.
The
only
thing
about
Bobby
Is
that
h<*
will
persist
in
going
on
jags\'—Baltimore
American.
t
D.
C.
Morgan
has
removed
his
Real
Estate
and
Insurance
Office
from
it's
former
location
at
No.
7\.WashTngton
Av-e^tou23
.T^
over
the
Endicott
Lumber
and
Box
Coi^_
where
he
will
be
pleased
to
welcome
all
old
and
new
friends.
*
He
represents
seven
of
the
best
Insurance
Companies
of
the
world
-
Noted
for
their
prompt
and
liberal
adjustments.
^
The
season
of
the
year
when
hot
stove
an^d
furnace
pipes
are
liable
to
be,
the
means
of
sweeping
away
the
earnings
of
years,
is
at
hand.
Have
your
savings
insured
where
there
will
be
no
question
6f
prompt
and
satisfactory
payments
should
a
loss
occur.
•«
He
will
insure
your
automobile
against
fire
loss
anywhere.
He
has
listed
some
of
the
best
Homes,
Investment
properties
and
Farms
that
you
will
be
able
to
iind.
He
will
be
pleased
to
render
you
service
as
a
Notary
Public.
Call
at
his
new
office
and
see
if
there
cannot
be
some
business
done
at
a
mutual
profit.
»
•
•
NOW!
Is.
the
time
to
begin
thinkmg-of
the
\VICTROLA\
For
a
X-MAS
_
o
Sold
on
easy
payments
C0NR0W
&
St.
MARTIN
Exclusive
Agents
for
The
Town
of
Union
t
•
i
•
•
Safety
Firat.
An
American
woman,
according
to
the
Express,
has
a
serious
complaint
about
the
London
policeman.
She
de­
clares
that
she
walked
all
the
way
from
Queen's
hall
to
Piccadilly
circus
with
three
buttons
on
her
blouse
undone
at
the
back,
and
\not
a
single
policeman\
offered
to
do
it
up
for
her.
No
doubt
the
force
was
reluctant
to
-I
•hiterf
ere
with
what
might
turn
out
to
be,
the
latest
fashion.
A
boy
scout
who
8ervia'«
Area
and
Population.
Before
the
recent
wars
with
Turkey
and
Bulgaria,
Servia
was
divided
into
eighteen
districts.
The
area
of
the
country
was
\84jj44
square
miles,
with
a
-population
\t
\fy.%701\\
^*^ia^ac­
quired
as
a
result
of
the
wars
WrJtory^
to
the
extent
of
14,668
square
miles,
with
a
population
of
1,481.614.
The
total
area
of
the
country
today
is,
therefore.
33.312
square
miles,
with
a
tote]
population
of
4,393,315.
The*
new
territory
has
been
divided.
into
twelve
offered
the
other
day
to
sew
up
a
split*
administrative
districts,
making
a
total
skirt
got
his
„ears
soundly
boxed
don
Punch
[
b^thirtyadmini
;
l
/
^tratrve
t
drs\;rict8
in
the
{-Whole
country.

Newspaper Page Text

Page Eight The ENDICOTT BULLETIN \YOUTJJRJL SANG FROlD. E/tn Fifty, Catr, Mor« or Less, Failed to Disturb Jessies Serenity. She was an extreme example of the modern child/ Afthoug^h tier years* were few, sMe ^seemea the*^rfect mistress of every situation. [>ressed v in an extreme frock, she reclined gracefully in a chair. entertaiuin,g|the caller until her mother^app^t£ed. ' \1 see .VouVUfce-ea-^s-,'-' said j&e caller, who had observed two white kittens tumbling about:* the rug iu the next room. \Oh yes. in reason,\ answered the modern one in her blase voice. \1 do not object to two or even three cats. But when you have as many as the woman who bad the place next to us the-seashore last summer it becomes urinoyingj\ v \Did have too many pets?\ \She had fifty cats-fifty large black cats. They used to sit in^a row on our front lawn every evening, and you could see their green eyes gleam ing a mile away. It was too uncanny.\ •'Oh^Jessie!\ exclaimed the visitor involuntarily \You're exaggerating dreadfully No woman ever had fifty cats.\ .lessie stared levelly into the caller's eyes. \Or more.\ she said nonchalantly— \fifty or more.\-New York Times. Lesser Evil. The mun fi*om Glasgow had suffered grievously in crossing the channel, and when he next had occasion to repeat th«' J[ ourne . v ne DOt mtend that there should be so much acute physi­ cal discomfort attached to it So he marched into a chemist's shop. \Have ye ouything to stay the pangs of seasickness?\ he asked in his win niug' Glasgow accent^ _ _ \Certainly sir; we -nave the very thing.\ said the obliging druggist. ~ Ti BToo mucffTs ~frT\ \Half a crown, sir \ The Glasgow man staggered back a pace, visibly shaken \Losh.\ he Hasped wben^ he recovered himself. \1 would sooner be seasick.\-London Mirror. Cart Before Horse. Dan Daly once essayed the legiti­ mate. \t was in his early days. All he had to do was to come to the cen ter of the stage at a critical moment and shoufcr\\* ~—^ \The King is dead! Long live the king\ When the time 0 came Mr Daly promptly assumed the correct dramatic pose, but for a .moment was so agi tated that words failed him. Then he bellowed at the top of his voice: \Long live the king—he 's deadl\- Chicago News. Like Draws Like. The superintendent of a lunatic asy­ lum was strolling round the grounds a few weeks after his' appointment, when one of the inmates came up to him and,' touching his hat. exclaimed: \We all like you better than the last one, air.\ •'Thank \you said the new official pleasantly. \And\ may T ask why?\ \%eU. sir,\ replied the lunatic, \you see, you are more like one hi us.\— Kansas City Star. Infielders and Outfielders. It would take a modern Solomon to select the premier ball player from the galaxy of headliners. Leaving out tbe twirlere and the heavy stickers, ^nd taking only the field work of the Slayers at large into- consideration, I bg.ve # found that 'a majority of fans agree on the proposition that infielders are more useful than outfielders, and that, If a man to \sland'aTtfie \head \5T the baseball class is selected 'for his general usefulness, he will be chosen from among the merfc covering, first second, third or short. Take *Cobb an$ Collins, f(yr -44istahce. who are wonders at fielding their positions. Last year Cobb had 300 chances to retire bats­ men and Collins had 804. Speaker, out among the daisies, had 488 opportuni­ ties to make errors, while. Weaver had 980, and Mclnnes 1,595 chances.—Ed A. Goewey in Leslie's. A Bargain-in-Pearls. Five fine pearls for 2 cents apiece was the bargain picked up by Miss Grace Lane shortly before the war broke out. Passing down a busy street In London, she saw _a-p«id^ep with a trayful of pearls' and a placard in­ scribed, \Real Pearls—Two Cents Each.\ Afterward she found that they were worth $50 apiece. A jeweler had hawked the pearls around to win a wager, firmly convinced that nobody would believe they were real, and so nobody would buy them. Windy Adelie Land. The windiest region of the world of which we have any knowledge appears to be the coast of Wllkes^ Land, where Dr. Mawson's expedition recently spent two years. Records at Adelie Land for 1912 showed an average wind velocity throughout the year of about forty- height miles an hour, while velocities- of 100 miles an hour, were common. Caution. A Pennsylvania farmer was the owner of a good Alderney cow. A rtranger. having admired the animal, asked the farmer. \What will yfoi take for your cow?\ The farmer scratched his head for a moment, and then said. \Look a-here: be you the tax assessor or has she been killed by the railroad?\—Argonaut Why Worry? She was very much in love with him, and one evening, while they were alone, she asked: \Frank tell me truly: you have kissed other girls, haven't you?\ \Yes.\ replied the young man. \but no one you know.\-New York Times. Not Getting Next. you enjoy getting next to \Don't nature?\ * \Only in a general way.\ replied Mr. Growcher. \When some of j:be details of nature loom up. such as n wasp or a hornet, 1 want to keep my distance.\ -Washington Star. J Not So Bad. \1 hear that Bobby Bings is ac­ cused of being .bibulous.\ \Nothing of the sort. The only thing about Bobby Is that h<* will persist in going on jags\'—Baltimore American. t D. C. Morgan has removed his Real Estate and Insurance Office from it's former location at No. 7\.WashTngton Av-e^tou23 .T^ over the Endicott Lumber and Box Coi^_ where he will be pleased to welcome all old and new friends. * He represents seven of the best Insurance Companies of the world - Noted for their prompt and liberal adjustments. ^ The season of the year when hot stove an^d furnace pipes are liable to be, the means of sweeping away the earnings of years, is at hand. Have your savings insured where there will be no question 6f prompt and satisfactory payments should a loss occur. •« He will insure your automobile against fire loss anywhere. He has listed some of the best Homes, Investment properties and Farms that you will be able to iind. He will be pleased to render you service as a Notary Public. Call at his new office and see if there cannot be some business done at a mutual profit. » • • NOW! Is. the time to begin thinkmg-of the \VICTROLA\ For a X-MAS _ o Sold on easy payments C0NR0W & St. MARTIN Exclusive Agents for The Town of Union t • i • • Safety Firat. An American woman, according to the Express, has a serious complaint about the London policeman. She de­ clares that she walked all the way from Queen's hall to Piccadilly circus with three buttons on her blouse undone at the back, and \not a single policeman\ offered to do it up for her. No doubt the force was reluctant to -I •hiterf ere with what might turn out to be, the latest fashion. A boy scout who 8ervia'« Area and Population. Before the recent wars with Turkey and Bulgaria, Servia was divided into eighteen districts. The area of the country was \84jj44 square miles, with a -population \t \fy.%701\\ ^*^ia^ac­ quired as a result of the wars WrJtory^ to the extent of 14,668 square miles, with a population of 1,481.614. The total area of the country today is, therefore. 33.312 square miles, with a tote] population of 4,393,315. The* new territory has been divided. into twelve offered the other day to sew up a split* administrative districts, making a total skirt got his „ears soundly boxed don Punch [ b^thirtyadmini ; l / ^tratrve t drs\;rict8 in the {-Whole country.