A little planning can squash summer sibling squabbles

Q. We have two boys, ages 7 and 9. They fight so much. Neither wants to go to camps like that other boy's mom said last week. How do you get kids to behave in class? We tried marbles like one of their teachers, but that is not working. Both are sort of sounding like mad boys, really mad and angry, even when talking to me. This is not normal for them.

A. Children take a little planning at times, and as a teacher, this is what I find kids crave. Being a parent and being a teacher is very different. I discipline my students in the classroom much differently than I would discipline my children at home. At school, kids have a job to work, learn, and behave. At home, kids have the same jobs but you draw it out of them a little differently.

At home and when you are out together, give your children lots of jobs and responsibility. I do not mean to turn them into the cleaning crew exactly, but kids this age need to be asked to do something. They gain a sense of pride and accomplishment. You are likely noticing your boys growing up and changing. Daily jobs help give them a sense of responsibility which is what they will start to crave as they get older. Without jobs or responsibility, a sense of entitlement grows and perhaps that anger is stemming from this.

It is also important to realize that this is normal for siblings to go through, but you are correct in finding ways to bring more joy to your kids and family. If something is not working, change it. There are some simple things that might help for the summer.

Have a family meeting and have your boys think of things they want to do this summer. Frame things in the positive. Make a realistic list that your family can do. Then, add some things you would like to do with them. Include classes, camps, or activities you find or just list things like evening picnics. Breakfast picnics can be fun, too. It is summer after all.

Simply getting your boys out of the house and out into nature will also go a long way. The earlier you all get up, get dressed, and get moving, the happier you will be. Orange County has countless hiking trails and beach choices. Put your bikes in the car and find trails for your family.

Bring lunch and have picnics for lunch or dinner. It is summer, so don't forget to give your children things to remember. When you plan something, even the smallest thing, have a way to describe it for your children that sounds really fun. This gives them something to look forward to and it raises the cheer in the home as the day begins.

We just had our boys do a promotion that the Orange County Fair had where children can read two books and write a summary of each then they get three free rides at the fair. Both of my boys did this and we had a fun time at the OCFair. You can find the link here: ocfair.com/2013/docs/readandride.pdf.

Sibling squabbles are normal, but so is family fun. Plan for some and you can all make it happen together. Jobs should be done first, and fun should be on your agenda each day. No need to make lesson plans, but you might want to put a calendar together with some events to look forward to and then have a list of 'go-to places' for when anyone is driving anyone else a little crazy.

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