# Sorry Not Sorry

I started this article to say that there will not be a new Beka XO article this week, or at least not by my usual 9am on Monday. Yes, that is a self-imposed deadline set at a completely arbitrary time. I set that deadline to remind myself that I want Beka XO to be a priority and to remain consistent.

Sometimes I have an article that is close my heart and I spend weeks perfecting it. When I finally share it, it is everything I wanted to say. Sometimes I am able to so wonderfully express my passion. But then, sometimes I spend the entire weekend agonizing over what I will write. I feel like I have bits and scraps of ideas, but nothing is coming together in that magical way. Those are often the days when I put together something simple that I think may benefit at least one of my readers.

Other weekends, when nothing is weighing heavy on my heart, or I have no exciting thoughts begging to be published, I spend the weekend in a way that all moms, all adults, can appreciate – doing nothing. Not doing nothing in a boring way, or an “I just can’t get it together” way, but in a sipping coffee at 10am on a Sunday and watching another episode of “Mukies” with my toddler and actually worrying about what King Julien has gotten himself into kind of way! In a not ashamed to not wear pants kind of way. In an ignore the phone kind of way. Come to think of it, I am not even sure where my phone spent most of the weekend.

Because of my creative freedom this weekend, my husband and I were able to talk about future plans during nap time. We danced while we made dinner. We binge-watched trash on Netflix!

Side note: did you know that two episodes is considered a binge? Only two. That seems a little extreme if you ask me. In that case, does anyone ever NOT binge-watch Netflix? I thought the point of having a season released in its entirety is to see how quickly one can watch it. But then, I might be wrong.

I may have accomplished a few more adult things this weekend than I am letting on, but my down time was not filled with the usual projecting, writing, creating, or social-media-izing that it usually is. I even forgot to pick up my car from the shop and did not feel bad about it. Usually I feel pressure to always be busy, to always be accomplishing something! But once in a while, a weekend comes around where I do nothing and I enjoy it.

So, because I spent the weekend not concerned with deadlines, expectations, or clothing, there will be no helpful or heartfelt article today by 9am, just this reminder that sometimes it is ok to do nothing. It is ok to just keep the family alive and fed even if you know you COULD do more.

Oh, and there does not always have to be guilt associated with binge watching.