I kept circling back to it over these last few weeks. I wanted to publish this post within that first week, but I wanted to take my time with this one. This is a biggie for me.

Phew.

Deep breath.

Here we go.

It was originally published on Jezebel.com on February 3rd. Justin shared it on Facebook the next day, and his thoughts were as such: “Ok, this is an interesting piece. Personally the author tells a tale with this and while they sound biased, they try to not be so. I think it’s a good read regardless.”

Before I delve into the article and my thoughts, I want to share some of my story.

I was raised in a religious family. As an infant, I was baptized/christened twice, in two churches. Both were in Florida – Seminole on the west coast, and Coconut Grove in Miami – My grandparents’ churches.

The next 19 years or so were a whirlwind of Sunday school, children’s choir, being an acolyte, Confirmation class, youth group, many a mission trip, “mountain top experiences” at retreats, the Russian Children program, starting the blood drive mission with my dad, teaching Sunday school …

I grew to love and appreciate the church. As a child/teenager, I fantasized about meeting the perfect man through the church youth group or some other Christian way/gathering, and then raising our child/children in the church, like we were raised.

In 2007, I graduated from high school and prepared to leave for Longwood, where I planned to major in Communication Studies Mass Media, take creative writing classes, start a new chapter with my high school sweetheart, and truly be away from home for the first time. I faithfully wore the silver and diamond cross pendant that my parents gave me a graduation gift. I remember my mom saying to me, several times, “I hope you don’t lose your faith when you go off to college.”

I tried attending Farmville United Methodist Church as a wide-eyed freshman. Nope – I was so homesick for Aldersgate in Chesapeake that I abandoned it after just two, maybe three, Sunday services.

I got involved with InterVarsity as a freshman, and that was a good experience for me. For the first two years, at least. By the beginning of junior year, I was starting to see the light – My high school sweetheart had been emotionally abusing me for years at that point, and it only spiraled downward after that. So many people reached out to help me, to pray for me, and more, both in Farmville and at home in Chesapeake.

I pushed them all away.

—

Let’s fast-forward to July 2010. Those first two weeks were my version of hell. Our dating anniversary, July 1st, had not gone well. He completely ridiculed my anniversary gift that I had painstakingly assembled, and he made me cry more than once. I left his house feeling miserable, worthless, and feeling like a failure as a girlfriend.

The next week, while my parents were in Florida, he hit me, twice, Monday and Wednesday. I tried to break things off Friday night. That left me in absolute fear that he was hiding in the park behind my house, desperate to win me back.

That week, I never felt so alone. I felt so lost. I remember my mom telling me on the phone, “Pray about it. Everything is going to be okay.”

The week I broke up with him, we were volunteers with the church’s annual Vacation Bible School.

Things finally began improving as I ended the longest romantic relationship of my life – Just over 4 years. On Saturday, July 17, I turned back to the relationship that I needed to focus on most – My relationship with God.

—

With Al, I found that no one in his immediate family regularly attended church. It was surprising, but not a deal-breaker for me. To Al’s credit, he was a good sport about it. He came to Aldersgate with me several times for Sunday services. We even ended up being Mary and Joseph in one of the Christmas celebrations in December 2010 – Yeah. To this day, he gives blood regularly at the drives that my dad and I run together at the church.

But, other than the blood drives, he’s not involved.

And to be honest with you, that’s perfectly okay with me.

It was nice to see someone else that I knew had read the article too. Megan is an awesome, dedicated blogger/writer. I stalk Freckled Italian every day for a new post, shamelessly. Check it out!

Anyway, in her post on February 13th, Megan had this to say, about her and her husband:

Godless Parents Are Doing a Better Job. Rob and I aren’t religious people, but I grew up in a church and sometimes wonder how we’re going to raise our children. This piece gave me a lot of hope (and also made me laugh a little).

I couldn’t have agreed more with her two simple sentences.

My main thought, after reading this several times over, was that it was very well-written.

At first glance, the title made me raise my eyebrows, but I was intrigued, so I read.

It was fascinating to see the studies that were cited. The author was very thorough in her research, and I was more impressed the more times I read it. I mean, come on, who cites a 40-YEAR study in an op-ed for a website? That’s awesome to me.

I like the way she stealthily inserted humor, to the point where I didn’t realize it was coming until I was reading it. And when I read it, and it registered, I laughed. A lot.

Aside from the laughter and the statistics, I first read this on a Wednesday night while sitting next to Al on his living room couch. I pointed it out to him on my laptop. Although he didn’t read it, he seemed intrigued by my brief, excited verbal synopsis.

I thought it was funny/poignant that she wrote, “… Christians … can organize a blood drive like nobody’s business…” in the last paragraph too. That was awesome, given my expansive history with those kinds of things – Born into a family of blood donors, being a blood recipient, becoming a blood drive organizer/coordinator, and being a regular/faithful blood donor.

Having dated Al for just over four years before we got engaged this past December, the thought of marriage and having children with him has never been a question for me. He has supported me, 100 percent, with my involvement in my church, from Day 1 of our relationship. He understands that Aldersgate is where I have been attending since I was four years old. He knows that I am a Christian, that I love God, that I pray, that I am a faithful woman.

However, as the years have passed, I saw myself growing concerned about our different stances about the church, and our plans for us in the present and the future.

It helps that the two of us can talk so freely, so easily. Al really has helped mellow me out over the years, literally teaching me how to “go with the flow.” So the historically “tough conversation” about religion or “fighting over religion” has actually been relatively easy. We’re on the same page, we understand each other’s stances now.

I’m okay with him not being involved in the church – I really am. It bothered me for a while, mainly because he started out being involved with me, and then stopping that entirely, but he explained his reasons to me, honestly and without apology. That was enough for me. I let it go and got over it.

On November 15th, 2015, I’ll wake up that morning and find myself a changed woman – Finally united in marriage to the love of my life, and that is so exciting.

However, I’ll still be Laura Beth – I’ll still be that Christian woman, who loves God and relies on her faith. I’ll know that I planned a wedding that took place in the beautiful sanctuary of the church called Aldersgate, the place I have called home for 23 years, surrounded by our closest family members and friends. I’ll remain committed to the blood drive mission for as long as it stands.

But, there are lots of unknowns, unanswered questions, too. Will I continue to attend Aldersgate? Will I attend any church in my first years of my marriage? Will I raise my children in a household where Mommy takes them to church every Sunday, while Daddy stays home?

Question: Will we go to church at all, as a family?

Answer: I don’t know.

I have been praying about this, a lot. And honestly, up until recently, I was feeling pretty discouraged, pretty low about it. I felt like I didn’t have any answers. I felt like I was in neutral, spinning my wheels.

But reading this article three weeks ago renewed my strength and my hope. It opened my eyes. It gave me some clarity.

The main thing I realized: When I become a mom, no one else can truly dictate how I raise them. Those decisions come from Al and I, period. And sometimes, I’ll need to make the decisions on my own.

I have bookmarked this article and I plan to reference it frequently as I make this journey from fiancee to wife to mom.

I enjoy researching and studying, and reading and writing. I know that when I marry Al, and more so when we are first expecting or adopting or however we’re able to bring a child/children into our little world, those are guaranteed to continue.

The start was quick. Brennan’s shirt came off first. Kristin shone her flashlight on his chest, taking in his muscles, his skin. Then she took the light away, letting her eyes adjust. She realized that taking the light away only bumped up the allure and the sexiness. She took a deep breath.

“Here we go, the start of something new,” she thought as Brennan’s fingers slipped under the hem of her tank top.

Brennan could barely contain his excitement, his joy. His fingers practically danced their way to the hem of Kristin’s top. He hesitated ever so slightly, hoping Kristin wouldn’t notice.

“Let’s hope I don’t screw this up,” Brennan prayed as his fingertips got their first real taste of Kristin’s skin.

Kristin drew in a sharp breath as Brennan’s fingers and hands settled on her torso, but she kept kissing him with such ferocity, she didn’t know who she was. Not that she cared, or anything. She was on summer vacation, hooking up with this amazing new guy and they were in uncharted territory. And she loved every single second of it.

Brennan didn’t take Kristin’s top off, not yet. He wanted to keep the action going but not go crazy. He was fueled by Kristin’s constant kisses and the beginnings of what he interpreted as horny moans, coming out as barely audible sighs from such a beautiful mouth.

His fingers quickly found her bra straps. He fingered them for a minute, twisting them around. Then he slowly slid them off her shoulders and down to her biceps, where he was taken aback by how much muscle was there, for a 110-pound girl, anyway. He heard an audible sigh-moan then, accompanied by a full-body shudder. Brennan smiled. He knew he was playing his cards right, and headed full steam for the jackpot.

Kristin helped him unhook her bra and carefully extricate it from her tank top. As he set it between them, he got a look at her nipples. The tank top was slightly translucent for one, but he knew she was turned on because they were pea-size already, but to Brennan, they looked like marbles. Brennan’s hand headed back inside via her armpit, but Kristin beat him to the punch by just taking it off. Brennan felt a charge of energy and hormones.

“Dude, she’s a keeper if she practically tears it off in front of me.” His eyes were probably as big as saucers, but he tried not to stare.

Kristin looked down briefly, placed her own hands on her breasts and gave her nipples a little twist. She sighed contentedly and looked at Brennan. She giggled at his shock. “What, a girl’s never ripped off her top for you?” Brennan could only move his head back and forth, stars in his eyes and a complete over-wash of awe, love, respect, and desire for this gorgeous girl.

She knew he was still in shock, so she took his hands from frozen in mid-air to an instant fire up by placing them on either breast. Brennan snapped back to reality instantly, looked at his hands, and kissed Kristin with tongue so hard that they both moaned simultaneously. Kristin let him fondle, twist, stroke and bounce her breasts and nipples to his heart’s content. Her nipples did indeed turn into small marbles.

Keeping time, it was only a few minutes. But Brennan knew time had stopped. It only started again when Kristin intervened again, this time moving his hands down, as in to her tiny shorts.

Brennan couldn’t be more elated. She guided him through the snap and the zipper. He looked down and removed her flip-flops before he helped her to shimmy out of her shorts. As his eyes moved back up to her underwear, he carefully stroked her legs from toes to hip. It was then that his fingers hit her hip. She didn’t have on any underwear at all.

Brennan again registered immediate shock and awe. His jaw literally hit the dock and stayed there. All Kristin did was giggle and smile from ear to ear.

“Good God. This girl is awesome. Now I have to impress her.” Brennan picked his jaw up off the dock, ran his hand through her beautiful hair and kissed her, hard.

As if Kristin could read his thoughts, she whispered during a kiss, “Don’t worry. You don’t have to impress me. I was worried about impressing you.”

Brennan’s mind filled with exclamation points and a few question marks. “Did she really just say that to me? I’m even more turned on now …”

Again, like she was reading him, her hand landed squarely on his crotch, though gently. She started stroking him like a cat, and he started purring on contact. All Brennan could do was to stare at her naked body, the beautiful meter completely off the charts. He did have the sense to slip his T-shirt underneath that gorgeous, hot, sexy ass of hers at one point. So help him, she wasn’t going to get any splinters anywhere on her gorgeous tan body, but especially not there, not on his watch.

As he slipped the T-shirt under her butt, he was made keenly aware that Kristin was headed for the snap and zipper. His penis was completely out of control by now. He helped her tiny fingers, and then before he knew it, she was stroking the cotton fabric, just as quickly headed down under.

She laid a hand on his bare thigh and he about lost it, right then and there. He grunted to get a hold of himself, silently told his penis to pipe down, that they hadn’t gotten to the sex part. Kristin giggled and moved a little slower after that.

She fingered his waistband. He was taking several deep breaths. He psyched himself up, but then remembered her reassuring words a few minutes earlier: “You don’t have to impress me.”

Then, just as soon as he registered her fingers under his waistband, his boxers were gone. She was staring just as much as he had been over her. She took him in, literally from head to toe. But her focus always snapped back to his penis within seconds. She couldn’t get over it. Brennan smiled in complete relief and satisfaction.

Kristin was in awe. “Whoa. Whoa, his penis is so huge. That’s awesome! I don’t know why I was worried. I mean, his is slim for our age … but he certainly makes up for it here. But, if he’s so big and I’m so small, how can we fit together?”

Brennan basically read her thoughts this time. He kissed her, looked into her deep blue eyes and said, “If you’re worried about, you know, me fitting? I think we’ll be fine. We’ve been a perfect match so far, so why should this be any different?”

Kristin sighed in relief. He understood, and he wasn’t worried. So she decided that she wouldn’t be freaked either. Besides, there were plenty of other mismatched couples, in terms of size, that had bragged about how awesome their sex had been. There was one football-basketball player that was six-three and 250-plus pounds who’d been with one of the 95-pound, five-two flyers on the cheerleading team for years. According to the school rumor mill, they apparently had the hottest sex in the whole school, and in their share of the riskiest of places: On the half-court line in the gym at all hours, buried among the cheerleading mats during practice, under the football stadium bleachers after almost every home game.

She was snapped back to reality by Brennan kissing every part of her, head to toe. He started with her hairline and moved down at an excruciatingly slow pace, but Kristin loved it. He kissed her forehead, eyelashes, shoulders, nipples, belly button, pubic bone, knees, and every single toe on both feet. She sighed with every deep kiss. She giggled at the flicks of his tongue. He even went so far as to suck her nipples hard and gently sucked every one of her toes.

As Brennan’s head came up from her feet, she ceased her maniacal giggles from her ticklish toes and sighed. “You know, there is one place you missed; one other place to suck, that is.”

Kristin guided his fingers, and eyes, down to her sweet spot. She scooted backward a few inches, making sure she wouldn’t topple head-first into the lake below in the process. His fingers traced circles along her inner thighs, starting at her knees. She stifled giggles and shudders as his fingers got closer and closer to her vagina. She stopped him just short of her opening, though, and started to gently touch and press her clitoris with her index finger. Her moans started coming uncontrollably and Brennan could see her physically shaking with emotion and excitement. Brennan watched in awe as she expertly pleasured herself. Kristin was putting on a show for him, and she didn’t even know it.

Sure, she had watched a few porno videos a couple of years ago to learn how to masturbate. She was completely embarrassed to ask her mom that one question, but she eventually asked Mom if what she was doing was right. Kristin was floored by her response, however. Mom closed the bedroom door, undressed below the waist, lay on Kristin’s bed and showed her 14-year-old daughter how she pleasured herself, to the point of a rousing and slightly frightening orgasm. Kristin had never seen her mother shudder and literally scream in pleasure like that.

Then, even more shocking, Mom had asked Kristin to model for her. Kristin did pleasure herself and Mom was impressed. She wasn’t even mad about Kristin watching porn, Mom confided that she’d read Playboy and other erotic magazines back when she wanted to learn how. Strange, but cool, Kristin had thought at the time. The only thing that hadn’t happened to Kristin yet, was a true orgasm.

“And now I’m practicing everything I learned in front of the guy of my dreams,” Kristin thought as she touched herself with rising confidence and passion.

“Writing is, in the end, that oddest of anomalies: an intimate letter to a stranger.” ~Pico Iyer

Almost halfway through February. Happy Valentine’s Day on Saturday 🙂

Enjoy installment #5!

They’d been holding hands ever since dinner had started, when Brennan’s left hand had slipped from the table down to Kristin’s knee. Kristin responded almost immediately, with a jolt.

With a flick of the wrist, her fork flew into her left hand; she was fortunate that she had learned to be ambidextrous at a young age. As soon as her other fingers had grasped the fork, her right hand jerked away to meet Brennan’s waiting hand. Their fingers interlocked then, and they’d barely let go of each other since. When they had to part, it took everything in their power to do so. It was like they hadn’t touched in years.

—–

The memory of dinner made them smile from ear to ear. Brennan’s thumb stroked Kristin’s skin ever so gently. She was so relaxed, but also so horny at the same time. She wanted to find a place to sit down, actually lie down, with complete privacy with the guy whom she’d instantly fallen in love.

They reveled in the crickets and the bullfrogs for a few minutes, their hands holding on to each other for dear life. Brennan’s thumb strokes along Kristin’s thumb sped up a little. But that couldn’t match their heartbeats. Kristin was almost hyperventilating. Brennan kept swallowing, his Adam’s apple fluttering up and down like a red and white fishing bobber on the lake’s surface would with the fish biting.

As they listened and reveled in the sounds of rich nature, Kristin’s fantasy came rushing back. She had a feeling that they were meant to be at the lake first, though, for some reason. She wanted the cabin scene to come later anyway. Brennan was strong, she knew, and she was sure he wouldn’t mind gathering firewood for a cozy fire. After all, what guy wouldn’t want an excuse to cuddle a shivering girl while warming up? Things could heat up pretty quickly, she knew. And she wanted it to. She was hot enough already, physically and emotionally.

Brennan’s fantasy flooding into his head, but he did not want to scare the girl of his dreams off. Not here, not now. He knew there was a reason that they’d stopped at the lake though. Maybe his ultimate skinny-dipping fantasy would come true sooner than he thought. He swallowed hard and shut his eyes briefly. His thoughts washed over him, but he wanted to focus solely on the girl who stood a head shorter than him. Brennan felt Kristin’s other arm wrap around his waist and her head lay down softly on his shoulder.

“She wants me, and she wants me badly,” Brennan thought.

He considered that a major score in his book, and he wanted to pump his fist in the air. However, he didn’t out of respect. He just enjoyed Kristin continuing to lean into him, her breath ruffling the cotton of his shirt. His pants suddenly tightened as his penis swelled and quivered violently.

Brennan took a deep breath and thought, “If we don’t have sex tonight, I think I’ll go crazy. Oh wait, I’m already crazy. Crazy for this girl, that is.”

He smiled to himself and gathered his thoughts together so he could suggest a place to go sit down. He prayed that the sitting down would lead to lying down. He wasn’t necessarily considering the skinny-dip idea anymore, but he knew one thing for sure: He wanted to see Kristin naked tonight desperately. And not to be egotistical, but he certainly wanted her to see him in the buff too.

Fortunately for Brennan, he actually didn’t have to open his mouth. They took about ten more steps and stumbled upon a small clearing in the trees that revealed an old wooden dock. It wasn’t long or high, like other docks they’d seen in cheesy camp movies and the two others here at Camp. But they both thought it was perfect. They both wanted to run like the wind toward the end of it, but Brennan had a feeling this dock was old, with warped boards.

Before either of them took one step forward, Brennan shone his flashlight beam upon the first few planks to find weathered grey wood. He sighed and looked down at Kristin’s Old Navy flip-flops; just one rusty nail could puncture not only the thin rubber sole, but her delicate foot as well. He knew that she would certainly not want to endure a tetanus shot at all, but especially not on their first night here at Camp. So, Brennan did the only logical thing he could think of: He dropped Kristin’s hand and swept her off her feet, literally.

He scooped her up like a doll, his left arm around her shoulders, his right cradling her lightly tanned, silky smooth legs. She gasped at the suddenness, but just as quickly broke into a huge grin from ear to ear. She swung her feet back and forth with giddiness as he sauntered onto the dock like a puffed-up peacock. He held her close, taking in her smooth arm looped around his neck, the breath from her cute nose whistling around his skin. He hoped she didn’t see the goose-bumps that dotted his bare skin.

She watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down like a frantic pulse and stifled a giggle. “I don’t know if he’s nervous or horny; maybe both. I know one thing though; he’s not going to drop me.”

And as if he had just heard, or read, her thought; his hands and arms suddenly tightened momentarily, then relaxed. She laughed to herself and smiled.

“This is perfect,” Kristin thought.

“I have no idea what’s going to happen next, but no matter what, I’m definitely along for the ride now.”

—–

Brennan held Kristin tightly again his body, hoping immensely that she didn’t feel his body shuddering with a huge range of emotion. He felt horny, obviously, but there were twinges of fear there too. He was mostly happy and excited, however. The fear was pushed down, with a prayer that nothing bad, scary or creepy would happen to them. Not today, anytime but tonight.

Kristin felt completely safe in Brennan’s arms. She really didn’t want him to put her down, but she wanted to see, taste, touch, hear and, smell anything and everything with her and Brennan together.

Brennan had music playing in his head too: Aerosmith, KISS, Drake, Usher and even some Michael Buble. He smiled to himself, knowing Kristin would be surprised and pleased that he had Michael Buble playing along. As the notes swirled through his head, they found the end of the old dock.

Brennan leaned down so that he could gently sit Kristin down on the warped, grey boards. “Careful,” he warned, “there are probably splinters and rusty nails. I wouldn’t want your beautiful skin to be marred by some old wood.”

Kristin chuckled and smiled at his thoughtfulness. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt either,” she said sincerely, “It’s bad luck to have to go to the infirmary less than 24 hours after arriving at the most peaceful place in the whole world, you know.”

Brennan laughed, causing Kristin to dip her head as she blushed in a fit of silent giggles. Brennan saw her head go down, to which he responded with his thumb and forefinger gently grabbing her chin. He carefully lifted her beautiful face up to meet his eyes, which were dancing among the LED lights that shone between their closely-pressed thighs.

To Brennan’s immediate relief, Kristin didn’t push his fingers away; she only hungered for more. Her eyes were dancing too, he noticed, the flecks of brilliant green and grey sparkling among the deep blue lake. Brennan kept his fingers on her chin for a few more seconds, stroking her beautiful beige skin with the slight farm tan. Then, ever so gently, her blinking doe eyes watched his fingers leave her chin and move up to carefully sweep a strand of her soft, silky hair off her forehead. She exhaled happily. Brennan sighed in both happiness and relief. Everything was working out great so far. He congratulated himself briefly before planning his next immediate move: He wanted to kiss her.

As Kristin felt the strand of hair being brushed off her forehead, she sighed as her entire 110-pound body started to tingle uncontrollably. She was able to hide it from Brennan’s view, but now she was completely head over heels. She longed for a guy who was funny, romantic and gentle; Brennan was clearly the right guy. All she wanted in that moment was a kiss. She lacked the courage to lift her face another inch, and she was grateful when she felt Brennan’s breath across her cheek and then she felt his lips on hers.

The next few moments were a complete blur. They knew they were lip-locked, slightly parted, scarcely breathing. Their eyes were shut tight, drinking everything in. Everything else in terms of feelings, sights, thoughts were in a crazy mixing bowl. Neither of them wanted their first official kiss to end. But, as their lips parted and Kristin’s head settled on Brennan’s shoulder, they knew there was another one not far behind.

—–

They kissed and kissed, and kissed some more. Around the sixteenth (but who was really counting), someone’s tongue breached the part in their lips. And they tasted each other. They explored the insides of their cheeks, tongues, teeth. Their breaths, already rapid since before the first kiss, were to the point of frantic. They had to pull away several times to breathe on their own, but as soon as the fresh forest air entered their lungs, they were right back where they’d started.

Kristin appreciated the fact that Brennan’s hands had stayed relatively still, almost in the same place. She was initially afraid that Brennan, being a typical red-blooded male, would have his hands all over her. She didn’t want to become scared, or worse, put off by the guy with whom she was already madly in love.

Fortunately for her, Brennan had all the respect in the world for her. To prove this point, he wanted to go as slowly as possible, while still holding her interest and passion. To Kristin’s surprise and relief, she noticed that his left hand and arm had encircled her waist from the moment he had gently set her down on the dock. His right limb had only moved from her right shoulder to cradling her neck, which she found incredibly comforting, alluring and overall extremely sexy.

Knowing at that point that he wouldn’t push the envelope made her want him more. She wanted him to push the envelope. She wanted him to slip his hands under her tank top, to feel her fiery skin. She wanted him to touch her bra, to slip his fingers under the cotton to play with her breasts, to squeeze her nipples and make them instantly hard, like marbles. More than anything, though, she wanted to be undressed, and she wanted it to happen soon. It didn’t matter who undressed whom; she was even considering doing a striptease for him, even though she had no idea how to do one.

She wanted him to witness her whole body, her naked skin. And if things led on to others, she wanted him to be her first; she wanted to feel his penis inside her vagina. She wanted to feel all those feelings, those that her mother and the magazines had told her about for years now. She even wanted to experience an orgasm, if she was able. Just thinking about it only made her hunger for it even more.

Her hands, meanwhile, had been anywhere and everywhere; well, above his waist, anyway: Dangling around his neck, entwined in his hair, on his shoulders, stroking his face. And though she feared Brennan would be upset by this, it was just the opposite. He had wanted to strip her down in the woods, but he’d restrained. He told himself to wait, to be patient until things were the most romantic, when it felt just right. At this point, his penis could barely take any of this anymore. Not that he minded her frantic hands being all over him, changing positions every few seconds. The only thing, he desperately wanted her to move them down, down to his belt and his shorts. He wanted her to touch him so badly. She wanted her fingers to stroke his member for a little while, maybe even put her beautiful mouth on it for a bit. Then, if all went well, he desperately wanted his quivering penis inside of her tender yet horny pussy. He wanted to feel her pulsating clitoris against his shuddering penis. He wanted to feel every part of her, with all of his being.

He wanted to be naked, she wanted to be naked. They both were about to get their wishes granted.

“Your writing voice is the deepest possible reflection of who you are. The job of your voice is not to seduce or flatter of make well-shaped sentences. In your voice, your readers should be able to hear the contents of your mind, your heart, your soul.” ~Meg Rosoff

Hello, February! One month closer to spring, hooray!

Enjoy week numero cuatro!

As her thoughts swirled, Trevor gingerly moved his gargantuan hands underneath the hem of Kristin’s shirt, her favorite cotton tee with the cherries. She willingly let him explore her skin, her breaths coming faster and faster, the sweat was starting to bead on her forehead. All the while, she was getting excited, though a little nervous. She wasn’t feeling it in her clit or breasts, but she was willing to let Trevor play around.

She relished in his gentleness. He explored every inch of her torso, and before she knew it, he’d slipped the tee over her head, balling it up behind her head as a pillow. He kissed her hot skin, with a few flicks of the tongue that made her giggle. He gingerly moved his hand to her bra, his fingers trembling slightly as he moved the straps off her shoulders. She unhooked her bra and let it fall. Trevor stared for a few seconds, taking in her creamy skin and pretty nipples. He ran his fingers up and down and around. Kristin tensed, but loved it. He gently twisted her nipples and kissed them, which made them hard. Trevor liked that, she remembered.

Topless, Kristin pushed herself up onto her elbows to kiss him. Like Trevor had earlier, she moved her hands underneath the hem of his John Deere tee, and he inhaled sharply. She kissed him full on the mouth, flicking her tongue inside his mouth. He breathed harder as he realized that her hands were headed for his jeans.

He helped her with the button and zipper, unable to take his eyes off her gorgeous, full breasts, and hard nipples. He turned sideways to slip his jeans off. He left his boxers on to let her explore. She started at his knee and slowly trailed her hand up toward his package. He had an evident hard-on, with his penis quivering. Trevor kept a hand on Kristin’s breasts, attempting to steady his breathing as her hands got closer.

She reached the middle of his thigh and noticed his Adam’s apple was going crazy. She filled with renewed excitement. She was actually going to touch his penis, his balls.

In a surprising move though, when Kristin’s hand reached the waistband of his boxers, she moved both hands to them and tugged down. Trevor’s eyes went wide, but he didn’t resist. He helped her. Finally, she was staring at his package. She gingerly touched his balls first, and then moved to his shaft and tip. Trevor’s breathing was out of control at this point. He steadied his hands on Kristin’s shoulders, never taking his eyes off her breasts. She stroked his penis just like he’d first masturbated, four years prior. Finally, he realized he was going to ejaculate, and soon.

His only words were, “Baby, I’m going to …” and Kristin responded by shoving his penis between her breasts. This made him come with a ferocity he’d never experienced, watching his sperm and fluid spill all over her beautiful skin, her big, bouncy breasts.

They breathed in silence for a few minutes until Trevor fully realized that she was covered in his fluids. He gently cleaned her up with his boxers. They re-dressed each other, kissed one more time and then Trevor drove her home.

They ended their relationship mutually two days later, right before second period.

——

Kristin suddenly shuddered as she came back to the present, filled with memories. Yet, she smiled. She knew, in her heart, that having experienced what she and Trevor had together, she was better off because of it. Yes, it was painful to break up so suddenly after that amazing Saturday night. But it was mutual, all the same. Trevor didn’t dump her, and she didn’t flake on him. They talked about it later that Monday, deciding to be just friends after all.

They both said they were grateful that they went as far as they did, but glad they hadn’t pushed the envelope. What they ended with was enough for the both of them. It left them with a certain amount of dignity.

That Saturday was almost the light bulb that showed them that continuing their relationship was not going to end well. They both shed tears and were remorseful to one another, but they ended up becoming closer friends. They kept their distance for a few days, but the weekend after their farthest push, they were right back to bowling and hanging out with their same group of friends, almost as if nothing had happened at all.

Her heart hurt a little over the memories and feelings, but she smiled as she looked back out the window toward Brennan. The visions of Trevor quickly faded away as she turned her full attention to Brennan’s sexy body; quirky, nerdy personality; bright smile; high-pitched laugh. She was filled with such a thrill that she wanted the waves of desire and pleasure just roll her down the aisle and the steps of the bus and wash her up at his feet. But she waited until every other person was going in the opposite direction of Brennan.

Brennan was overjoyed that Kristin had been looking at him practically the entire time he’d been helping unload the luggage. He didn’t even think it was creepy; frankly, it made him only more turned on than he already was, and he had no idea how that was even possible.

He smiled to himself, thinking, “I bet she had no idea that I was watching her, too. I think it’s so sexy that she can’t take her eyes off of me. Man, I can’t take it anymore. I need to at least kiss her at some point today; otherwise I think I’ll explode. Although I know that my guts splattering all over her beautiful body would certainly not be a turn-on …”

As he tried not to visualize his graphic explosion, he realized that Kristin was no longer staring at him through the bus window. He swiveled his head around to see where she could be, since he couldn’t let her out of his sight. That is, both figuratively and literally.

Unbeknownst to each other, they had become obsessively defensive of one another, even though they’d only met an impressive four hours beforehand. They didn’t want anyone else of the opposite sex to come within a few feet. They just wanted to be near each other, all the time. And they’d barely touched each other. However, both of them definitely did not want that trend to continue! They both shared a fierce hunger to touch skin, lips, and everything in between.

They both had their own fantasies, but with certain similarities. One thing that they both agreed on, though: They both passionately desired to make love to one another, that very night if at all possible. Kristin had dreams of having a cabin for just the two of them, undressing each other by firelight. Brennan wanted to take her to the massive lake, make out and then slip into the water and skinny-dip. Both of them wanted their fantasies to happen right then and there, but they both knew that waiting for the night sky was not only more romantic, but greatly reduced the chances of being discovered by anyone!

Besides, they both knew, with the hormones that had been raging on the bus for two full hours, they were certainly not the only ones desiring privacy. However, Camp had so many great, romantic hiding places. And there were only about 100 Campers altogether, so how hard could it be to find some privacy in such a massive orgy of nature, peace, quiet, and stars?

——

Boy, were Brennan and Kristin sorely mistaken! It seemed like every feasible hiding place was taken as soon as the last plate was scraped from dinner. They tried the lake, the edges of the woods, the well-worn trails, and the babbling brook. Almost all of the cabins, that were originally meant for a small group of 7-8 with a mix of cots and bunk beds, were taken by couples evidently shacking up for a long first night together.

Both Brennan and Kristin were surprised at the number of girl-on-girl pairs they came across, but they weren’t shocked in the slightest. Both of them had lesbian and gay friends at their schools; in both of their opinions, gays and lesbians were just like boys and girls together. No matter the pair, they all had the same feelings, emotions, actions. No big deal to them, except Kristin and Brennan were getting frustrated! Why was this so hard?

Despite the lack of immediate privacy, Kristin and Brennan continue to talk and laugh amongst themselves. They took their time exploring the massive Camp grounds, which seemed to run on for forever in every feasible direction. They both carried strong LED flashlights, with Brennan pocketing extra batteries in the deep pockets of his cargo shorts.

Every few minutes, Kristin shone her light down on the rough map that a couple of the so-called “counselors” had drawn up for the overly-eager crowd of Campers. These weren’t your typical “counselors” with line-leading, activity-coordinating, song-singing and lights-out-proclaiming. No, these guys were just like the Campers, just as hormone-ravaged and eager to explore. They did have their eyes peeled though, just in case any emergency were to arise at any moment. They weren’t stupid, that’s for sure. There had been some injuries and close calls in years past, and they of all people didn’t want anything bad to happen to anyone, so long as they could help it.

Finally, as it seemed like Brennan and Kristin had circled the expansive lake for the fifteenth time (and it wasn’t a short loop, either), they came upon sudden silence. Only the chorus of crickets and a few lonely bullfrogs sang among the pair’s whispers.

I’ve read The New York Daily News’s account three times now, and every time I’m left shaking my head. This child is NINE YEARS OLD, for heaven’s sake.

And, on top of that, he’s been suspended not once.

Not twice.

But THREE times!

According to the article, this latest suspension, last week, was handed down due to a “threat” that Aiden made against a classmate.

I understand that threats, no matter where they’re directed, are taken far more seriously nowadays than when I was growing up, no doubt about it. But over something like this? This is slightly nutty for me.

Aiden’s “threat” to his classmate was that he possessed the One Ring, like Bilbo Baggins, and he could put the ring on his friend’s head and make him invisible.

As a student of mass media, I noticed several things regarding the article. It focuses primarily on Aiden’s father’s point of view. This, in a way, is understandable.

It merely references the friend that was threatened in the writer’s own words; however, there is nothing actually in quotes from this friend or the friend’s parents/family. The only actual quotes in the article are from Aiden’s father. The only other adult mentioned in the article is the elementary school’s principal, and she had no comment for the story, claiming confidentiality.

Aiden’s two other suspensions were briefly mentioned at the very end of the article. His family has been in the Kermit Independent School District for only six months, but Aiden already had two in-school suspensions (ISS) to his name prior to last week’s “threat.”

There was no timeline or dates stated for either ISS, but both of them are equally puzzling and head-scratching. According to the article, the first ISS was because Aiden referred to a classmate as black.

The second ISS was because Aiden brought his favorite book to class, thinking he would impress the teacher, called “The Big Book of Knowledge.” They were studying the solar system at the time, but the teacher found that the book contained an illustration of a pregnant woman, with a section on pregnancy.

This was explained to the article’s author by Aiden’s father.

I personally want to hear the points of views from Aiden’s teacher, much more from the principal, Aiden’s classmate/friend and his family, and any other school authorities that may be involved.

There are at least two sides to every story. I feel like this is only the tip of the iceberg!

Aside from dissecting the article, the thing that troubled me most was that Aiden was suspended from school, simply because he was using his imagination, being engaged in make-believe.

Since when did make-believe and using one’s imagination start causing trouble?

The Lord of the Rings has been classified as an “epic high fantasy novel.” The six movies are visually stunning, and left this 26-year-old dreaming of elves and dwarves and fearing the ugly Orcs, with a strong desire to visit New Zealand where the movies were filmed.

I think it’s terrible to punish a 9-year-old for mimicking a movie. What is a suspension going to teach him?

If it hasn’t already done so, I think it’s going to teach him that he can’t play with his friends while referencing popular movies. Not at school, anyway. This makes me so sad.

This story made me think back to my childhood. Elementary school, especially.

I spent a good while reminiscing, and it was nice to be nostalgic for a bit. I got lost in the daydreams.

So many fantasy worlds. So many times of make-believe, in the cafeteria, in the hallways, on the playground, riding on the bus. So many laughs.

Back then (This coming June will mark 15 years since I graduated from the fifth grade), there wasn’t anything that was classified as a bonafide “threat” from one student to another. Sure, there were the classic tattles to the teachers of “He/She called me a toad/frog/devil, etc.,” but none of that made it to the principal’s office!

I think Aiden’s father put it best:

“Kids act out movies that they see. When I watched Superman as a kid, I went outside and tried to fly,” Steward said.

…

“I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence,” the boy’s father later wrote in an email. “If he did, I’m sure he’d bring him right back.”

I am a writer, after all. Part of my existence, part of my being, involves making up stories. Using my imagination, which is one of the greatest gifts that can be given. Imagination should be fostered and encouraged.

Creativity is wonderful, and it shouldn’t be squashed, especially early on in life.

“Florida isn’t so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found.” ~Douglas Coupland

I’ve been to Florida over 100 times, since both sets of my grandparents have lived down there since I was born.

The last full weekend of January was the latest trek. And it was a special trip: Al was meeting my Grandpa (Dad’s dad) for the very first time.

Al and I flew down on Friday, and then my dad picked us up. He was able to drive down from his temporary residence of Charleston, South Carolina, due to work, for the weekend.

It was wonderful to leave Norfolk and the 30-degree temperatures behind for a balmy 77 degrees in Tampa!

After leaving the airport, we went to visit our friends the McShanes in Tampa. We got to see the business that Melanie and Charlie own (McShane Communications), and then we met Melanie at their gorgeous house for a nice visit!

We then headed to Seminole, Florida, where my grandpa lives. We swung by the Winn-Dixie and the local Little Caesars to pick up dinner. Pizza, cheese bread, and salad!

Friday night was very low-key. So low-key, that all four of us were in bed and basically asleep by 9:00 p.m.!

Saturday morning, the four of us went to breakfast at The Seminole Family Restaurant. This is one of my favorite places to eat! Al and I both had French toast – Yummy!

We went to the Bay Pines National Cemetery to see Grandma. It’s always humbling to go there. For one, it’s a veterans cemetery. It’s a beautiful campus, a lot of nature elements included with the cemetery and the Veterans Administration hospital and care facilities. Her ashes are in the cemetery’s columbarium, where spouses can be interred together. It’s fascinating to see all the different religious and non-religious symbols at the top of each slab, the representation of all of the armed forces, and then the one-liners that can be inscribed at the bottom of each individual stone. They range from sweet and endearing, to funny. It’s a place that I plan to visit often, especially when Grandpa does pass away and is reunited with Grandma again. They were married for over 50 years when she passed away in 2011.

Saturday was filled with food as well. We had leftovers for lunch, and then we went to Crabby Bill’s for dinner at Indian Rocks Beach. Some of the best seafood there is. and the Gulf of Mexico is literally across the street. It was a little chilly and windy, so we didn’t walk on the beach, but Al got to see the sand and the waves from the car. We’ll definitely be returning 🙂

When we got back to the house, we made small talk for a while. Al and I watched Mirror Mirror on TV. I hadn’t seen it, and it was a pretty good movie overall. Then we called it a night.

Sunday was Al’s birthday! We celebrated with waffles for breakfast. Dad went to the store for a few things before breakfast and came back with an Entemann’s loaf cake 🙂

It was cheaper to fly out of Orlando than Tampa, so that where we were headed.

Before driving to Orlando, though, we saw more of St. Petersburg (a.k.a. St. Pete), where my dad grew up. We were meeting our friends Phil and Diane for lunch, so before we met, Dad drove us around, pointing out his childhood house, his church, our friend Phil’s fire station, and more.

Al took these awesome pictures at the waterfront. The crazy-looking building is a part of The Pier, where Dad had some of his Homecoming dances and proms.

After our tour, we met Phil and Diane at Ted Peters Famous Smoked Fish. Phil and Dad grew up together, in church and all. My parents were headed to Phil and Diane’s wedding when Dad proposed to Mom 🙂 Phil was Dad’s best man the next year. They go way back, and Ted Peters has always been involved. Dad still has a Ted Peters T-shirt. They’re famous for their smoked fish, but they also have the best burgers, frosty-mug root beer, and key lime pie!

I drove to Orlando, about two hours outside of St. Pete. It was a smooth ride, and it was nice to get some glimpses of Disney World!

We got to the airport and sent Dad back to Charleston. It took us a while to get back to Virginia, but it was an awesome weekend.

I highly recommend checking out the Gulf Coast of Florida! I love visiting the area, and I hope to make many more trips. There’s so much to do and see. It’s great for people of all ages.