Ever since Daniel Goleman released his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, emotional intelligence has been recognized as a key indicator of management success. Previously, many managers were promoted for technical skills alone. If they had emotional intelligence, that was icing on the cake. No longer will that person be successful in today’s workplaces. According to the World Economic Forum Future of Jobs Report, “emotional intelligence will be one of the top ten most desirable job skills in 2020, above technical skills.”

According to Harvard Business Review, a company with a critical mass of emotional intelligence in the leadership team, outperformed yearly earnings goals by 20%.

So exactly what is emotional intelligence? Emotional Intelligence is composed of five skills:

Example: A software engineering manager knows that interruptions will interfere with his schedule, so he plans accordingly, and rather than feeling frustrated, he is in control of his schedule. He leaves chunks of time in his calendar for these interruptions.

Example: A team loses a big sale. The manager, instead of yelling & overreacting, takes an analytical approach, engaging her pre-frontal cortex, the logic center of the brain.

She convenes the team for a de-brief, to analytically uncover what went wrong and what they can do differently in the future.

Motivation (in this context) refers to intrinsic motivation, meaning, being driven to achieve for the sake of achievement (rather than salary or ego). This includes optimism, passion for the work, & commitment to the organization.

Example: A person has a major set-back or defeat, but rather than letting negativity & feelings of defeat get her down or depressed, she rather remains optimistic for the future.

Empathy is about understanding other people’s feelings, especially when making decisions. It incorporates skills of listening and really understanding how and what people feel.

Example: A manager notices that one of the team is under-performing for several days or weeks. Instead of approaching him with criticism, she approaches him with care and concern, keeping in mind that something beyond his control might be affecting his work flow or behavior. She approaches him with an attitude of wanting to help.

Social Skills are about managing relationships and building rapport with others to influence them to buy in to her point of view, or move them in a desired direction. This person is persuasive, has an extensive network, and leads change.

Example: A manager wants her company to establish a vibrant wellness group. She gathers a few people together to create an informal group which gets people moving more, eating healthy and practicing mindfulness. She persuades other managers around the company to do the same. The involved managers get together and show upper management how effective their teams are performing based on their enhanced productivity and levels of happiness, showing evidence of ROI: productivity, reduced absenteeism, & happiness.

In summary, emotional intelligence encompasses five key qualities:

Self-Awareness

Self-Regulation

Motivation

Empathy

Social Skills

These skills come naturally to some people, but not to others. But nobody is perfect, and we can all improve our abilities through practice, patience and feedback from others.

So why are emotional intelligence skills important?

Because in order to manage teams, managers must realize that they are not managing machines but rather people with human emotions. They have to keep in mind that people are their greatest assets, and that without them, the organization would not thrive.

And that just because someone has a task does not mean they are going to be able to do their best. They nay not have enough knowledge, or they may be frustrated that they didn’t get a plum assignment they wanted.

So it’s important to acknowledge people’s emotions so you can motivate them to do their best work.

Navigating human emotions does not always come naturally to everyone. It is imperative that people be gauged for these skills or trained in these skills before they are promoted.

Here are three skills that help to enhance emotional intelligence:

Recognition

Regulation

Co-regulation

Recognition is the ability to recognize what you are feeling and determine its root cause. In my Banish Burnout program this is one of the first steps. More information can be found in my BANISH BURNOUT TOOLKIT.™

Regulation – means to reach an emotional goal, when you are feeling out of sorts, reminding yourself how you want to present yourself at work.

Co-regulation is the ability to regulate your emotions in support of others.

The main thing to remember is that new skills don’t happen overnight. They take educating yourself and practice.

If you need help with your emotional intelligence skills, ask someone in your organization to get together to talk. If necessary, engage your Lean In Circle or Master Mind group to practice.

In my Banish Burnout presentations and webinars, we talk a bit about emotional intelligence and how important it is at work.

Now, more than ever, managers need to be even more emotionally intelligent than they already were. Some people are not even aware of how much the Covid-19 isolation is affecting them. I, myself thought that I was A-OK at first, but after awhile I realized that though I have my family around me, I was missing all the other people I come into contact with every week. Yes, we can connect on Zoom, but there is a missing spark that cannot replace direct human contact with friends.

So I began to think about how pertinent a discussion of emotional intelligence (EQ) would be right now.

The essence of the Banish Burnout program is to take the time to understand yourself, where your behavior patterns come from and then to change the parts that need changing. That is the first part of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, according to Harvard Business Review’s On Emotional Intelligence.

Many of us had parents that did not know how to feel or how to handle their children’s feelings. In Permission to Feel, Dr. Marc Brackett talks about the fact that his parents were not capable of taking care of or nurturing his feelings. They could barely deal with their own feelings, so how would they know how to take care of his? Parents of earlier generations were so focused on surviving that no one in any workplace ever cared or talked about how anyone felt. You went to work. You collected a paycheck. You came home. That was it.

Today things are so different. It is incumbent upon managers to understand not only their own feelings, but those of their team. They need to know when someone is off, or just not themselves. They need to take the time to really understand what makes their team tick, so they can be at their best, solving the challenges of the day.

In Banish Burnout (the book) and the supporting workbook, The Banish Burnout Toolkit (coming soon to Amazon), that is the first step…understanding how we feel in reaction to different events or stressors that come up during the day. Once we can acknowledge how we feel, then we can look at our reactions. We can even take it a step further and discover exactly where our behavior patterns come from. Many people think their behavior patterns are “just the way they are.” But in reality those patterns came from somewhere in our childhood.

Once we identify our patterns and try to uncover their source, then, and only then, can we put a reality spin on our reactions and change the way we think, feel, and behave.

This is the crux of emotional intelligence, self-awareness. I will write about the other parts of emotional intelligence in a future blog post.

If you would like more information about emotional intelligence or the “Banish Burnout: Move from Stress to Success” program or the accompanying “Banish Burnout Toolkit Workbook,” get in touch at Janice@JaniceLitvin.com or connect with me on Linkedin.

In our busy, stress-filled lives many of you are managing two jobs: your day job and your family at night. How can you stop & smell the roses, when you barely have time to get everything done?

I submit that happiness can be found in quick and easy ways throughout the day and evening.

First of all let’s look at where that feeling of joy actually comes from in the brain.

The brain releases four different happiness chemicals in reaction to different types of situations or stimuli. They are: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins.

Most of the knowledge I’m sharing comes from a book entitled, Habits of a Happy Brain by Loretta Graziano Breuning.

I’d like to start with dopamine. Dopamine is about social rewards. For example, a football player scores a touchdown and does a victory dance. That’s dopamine. Seeing the first apple blossoms of the season, that’s dopamine. Spring is right around the corner, so look for those signs of spring.

Music is another source of dopamine, especially if the music is from a favorite song you have not heard in a while, or from a newer song that you really enjoy.

So dopamine is about rewards. For example, when you are doing a jigsaw puzzle , finding the piece you’ve been seeking feels good because of dopamine.

How can you find dopamine at work?

Accomplishing a task that you felt was going to be a big challenge – that took days, weeks or even months releases dopamine. It’s that feeling of achievement when you finished. Look for those little moments of accomplishment at work, if possible, and focus on them, even for a moment or two. Take a moment to soak up the pride of accomplishment you feel. When you go home that night, write down how that accomplishment made you feel so you can experience the joy of your hard work from that day.

Another way to find dopamine at work is to challenge yourself with a new skill. For example, many people come to me and say I’d like to learn how to speak in public, but I’m too afraid. Did you know that public speaking has been identified as the number one fear, above death? You could find a Toastmasters club or start one at work. Just go to Toastmasters.org to get started. After your first speech, and every speech, you will have a huge surge of dopamine.

The second happiness chemical is called oxytocin. Oxytocin comes from a feeling of trust or being able to lean on a trusted advisor or friend. It also comes from connection, belonging, and social alliances.

Do you have a best friend at work? My friend Laura Putnam, author of Workplace Wellness that Works, has cited having a best friend at work as an important part of combatting loneliness & depression.

Touch also triggers oxytocin. I’m acutely aware that you cannot go around touching everybody at work. However, you can touch your best friend, and sometimes you can even say, “I need a hug today.” Have you ever noticed a nurse touching the arm of a patient in bed? Nurses know all too well the healing power of touch.

Volunteerism

Have you ever noticed that feeling you get when you volunteer for someone who needs your help? Some people refer to this as helper’s high. The recipient could be a seniors’ group, a group of school children, or the needy or sick, or your community. There is much research on the benefits of volunteerism to the giver.

Why not start a group in the office to volunteer once a month or at least once a year to pack school supplies for school children, read to school children, clean up your community, or visit the sick. There are myriad examples of volunteer efforts supported by many large companies including Target, Chevron, Salesforce and more. To find a group that needs your help go to volunteermatch.org.

Or why not help a younger member of the team with a difficult project?

Social alliances also stimulate oxytocin. That’s another vote for setting up some sort of club at work. In the recent years I’ve become aware of different clubs inside organizations, like women’s groups. Of course you can set up any type of appropriate grouping at work. Get together with your club once a month for lunch or a meeting. If your group is particularly helpful to the organization, then even better. For example, how about a walking club at work or a water challenge, or a healthy recipe club? Anything that promotes wellness would be well-appreciated by your leaders.

Do you have access to a fitness center at work where group exercise classes are offered? Go take a Zumba, Yoga or strength training class. You get a double does of happiness from the social connection and the endorphins, and of course, all the healthy benefits of exercise.

Serotonin is third happiness chemical and it comes from feelings of self-respect, respect from others, self-confidence and pride. I’m not saying go around the office and brag about yourself, but do let others compliment you on a job well done. Furthermore, when you are called upon to lead a project, say yes, not, no, even if you don’t feel qualified. The person who asked you would not have asked if they did not feel you could do it.

So serotonin depends on the your own expectations of yourself.

The fourth and final happiness chemical, endorphin, has been well-documented in many fitness magazines. Often referred to as the runner’s high, endorphins are released only when you push past your capacity to the point of ‘distress.’ So if you are a runner, try to find a different path, a harder path, or a longer run if you want the endorphin rush.

Also small drips of endorphin are stimulated by a belly laughing or a good cry.

Of course you can’t walk around the office laughing or crying, but you can take a walk with your friend and have a good laugh or listen to a funny podcast.

Heidi Hanna, known as the “stress detective,” reminds us to take a five-minute break every hour to rest & recharge. That would also be a good time to have a laugh. If you can’t take a break every hour, please take a break at least once a day.

So, the best way to find joy throughout the day is to look for opportunities to tap into your four happiness chemicals.

To recap:

Dopamine comes from social rewards, feelings of accomplishment, and favorite music you haven’t heard in awhile.

Oxytocin comes from trust, social connection, belonging, social alliances, touch and volunteerism.

Serotonin is released from feelings of self-respect, respect from others, pride, confidence, and feeling important.

Endorphins are released from physical exertion beyond your current capacity, belly laughing or a good cry.

So the next time you are feeling pressured at work, grab a friend, get outside, go for a walk & have a belly laugh.