Gray Checks Into Rehab For Goofy Bowtie Addiction

(LANCASTER) – Mayor Rick Gray checked himself into a rehabilitation center for what one aide called his “uncontrollable propensity to wear tacky bowties every blessed day.”

“My wife and some other folks had an intervention with me the other day,” Gray said as he exited City Hall this morning. “They showed me that I really need to get this bowtie thing under control. I mean, I don’t even own any normal neckties at the present time.”

Gray’s decision comes just days after Lancaster City Councilman Nelson Polite publicly questioned the mayor’s ability to both wear bowties and crack down on gun crimes. “It strikes me as an either-or proposition,” Polite said.