Naomi, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday! Don't worry though, I've bought you a state-of-the-art Web cam, which should be arriving in your mail box soon. You'll probably want Captain Portway to set it up for you.

WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.