Emperor

Like most foreigners in China, you probably spend the majority of your time with a group of predominantly Chinese coworkers. Making friends in the Chinese workplace can be a challenge, but with a little effort and a determination to step out of your comfort zone, you’ll soon have more Chinese friends at the office than you’ll know what to do with. Here’s how:

Photo: Kai Hendry

Participate in work-related activities

In addition to the weekly work meetings, many offices arrange activities for their employees to get together and build camaraderie. These might be cleverly disguised as team-building exercises, casual after work dinners or the infamous KTV night.

For most foreigners, the initial instinct will be to say “no”, especially to the latter. But just as we learnt from the movie Yes Man, saying “yes" can lead to unexpected opportunities.

These out of office activities provide a more relaxed atmosphere, and perhaps alcohol, which in turn will loosen people up and hopefully lead them to talk more about non-work-related things. The more you get to know your colleagues outside of their work personas, the more genuine your relationships with them will be.

Show/feign interest

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget that, like it or not, we work with other people and that our relationships with those people are important. By simply showing an interest in what another coworker says, does or thinks, you can create opportunities for a deeper and more genuine relationship than simply knowing them as “that programmer guy who sits next to me”.

Let’s say you’re talking to Steve, who loves Chinese football. You, on the other hand, aren’t particularly interested in it -- but this doesn’t matter. Engage Steve, listen to his stories about football in China and, who knows, maybe you guys will see a game together sometime. You might not enjoy the match itself, but you’re sure to get something out of your closer friendship with Steve.

Step out of your comfort zone

Cultural differences between Western countries and China exist, and anyone who says they don’t is a liar. Perhaps you don’t want to spend your Friday night listening to Chinese people sing love ballads or your Saturday afternoon in a mall, and having those feelings is perfectly okay. But if you want to fit in and, who knows, maybe even make some friends during the process, you must be willing to give new things a try.

Relationships, even platonic, are about give and take. Sure, you didn’t want to go to KTV, but was it better than staying at home alone? Probably.

Create opportunities

The previous suggestions are a bit passive, as you have to wait for the opportunity to come to you. Although this might seem obvious, don’t forget that you too can create opportunities for you and your Chinese colleagues to hang out.

Maybe they don’t drink or aren’t interested in playing poker, but there are lots of other things you can invite them to do that both of you will enjoy. Check out event listings, pick something and throw out the invitation. It doesn’t need to be expensive, time-consuming or 100 percent suited to everyone’s interests. Sometimes the journey is more fun than the destination.

For example, art galleries aren’t always everyone’s cup of tea, but when you think back on that time you and some colleagues checked out the weird new exhibition in your hood, you’ll likely remember the funny comments they made and the silly pictures you took. Sure it was awkward at times, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Just like anything, making friends in the Chinese workplace takes time and effort. In today’s world, where most people are caught up in social media and online games, it pays to have personal interactions.

So, what are you waiting for? Get out there are chat someone up at the water machine today!

I get your point on this Phil. You are headed towards the different cultures dont mix thing. And I agree with you.
But you are not going so far as Ambi when he says enforced mixing of cultures causes violence.
I totally agree that different cultures have limited overlaping circles, often not overlaping at all. But that does not mean we cant live next door to each other.
I only have one Chinese guy here who I would call a friend. But I have 2 brits I have met here I would call good friends. The cross cultural friendship stuff is difficult, and honestly, not worth the effort to force.
However, to hate your neighbour because of culture is not on. Its amazingly easy to live next door to someone without talking, and without having a negative opionion of their cultural lifestyle.

Actually I wasn't thinking that deep although i see what you mean....all I was pointing out that the photo was another sex in China promotion to get Randy awkward foreigners into China so they can be exploited by unscrupulous employers .

Emperor

Like most foreigners in China, you probably spend the majority of your time with a group of predominantly Chinese coworkers. Making friends in the Chinese workplace can be a challenge, but with a little effort and a determination to step out of your comfort zone, you’ll soon have more Chinese friends at the office than you’ll know what to do with. Here’s how:

Photo: Kai Hendry

Participate in work-related activities

In addition to the weekly work meetings, many offices arrange activities for their employees to get together and build camaraderie. These might be cleverly disguised as team-building exercises, casual after work dinners or the infamous KTV night.

For most foreigners, the initial instinct will be to say “no”, especially to the latter. But just as we learnt from the movie Yes Man, saying “yes" can lead to unexpected opportunities.

These out of office activities provide a more relaxed atmosphere, and perhaps alcohol, which in turn will loosen people up and hopefully lead them to talk more about non-work-related things. The more you get to know your colleagues outside of their work personas, the more genuine your relationships with them will be.

Show/feign interest

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget that, like it or not, we work with other people and that our relationships with those people are important. By simply showing an interest in what another coworker says, does or thinks, you can create opportunities for a deeper and more genuine relationship than simply knowing them as “that programmer guy who sits next to me”.

Let’s say you’re talking to Steve, who loves Chinese football. You, on the other hand, aren’t particularly interested in it -- but this doesn’t matter. Engage Steve, listen to his stories about football in China and, who knows, maybe you guys will see a game together sometime. You might not enjoy the match itself, but you’re sure to get something out of your closer friendship with Steve.

Step out of your comfort zone

Cultural differences between Western countries and China exist, and anyone who says they don’t is a liar. Perhaps you don’t want to spend your Friday night listening to Chinese people sing love ballads or your Saturday afternoon in a mall, and having those feelings is perfectly okay. But if you want to fit in and, who knows, maybe even make some friends during the process, you must be willing to give new things a try.

Relationships, even platonic, are about give and take. Sure, you didn’t want to go to KTV, but was it better than staying at home alone? Probably.

Create opportunities

The previous suggestions are a bit passive, as you have to wait for the opportunity to come to you. Although this might seem obvious, don’t forget that you too can create opportunities for you and your Chinese colleagues to hang out.

Maybe they don’t drink or aren’t interested in playing poker, but there are lots of other things you can invite them to do that both of you will enjoy. Check out event listings, pick something and throw out the invitation. It doesn’t need to be expensive, time-consuming or 100 percent suited to everyone’s interests. Sometimes the journey is more fun than the destination.

For example, art galleries aren’t always everyone’s cup of tea, but when you think back on that time you and some colleagues checked out the weird new exhibition in your hood, you’ll likely remember the funny comments they made and the silly pictures you took. Sure it was awkward at times, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Just like anything, making friends in the Chinese workplace takes time and effort. In today’s world, where most people are caught up in social media and online games, it pays to have personal interactions.

So, what are you waiting for? Get out there are chat someone up at the water machine today!

I get your point on this Phil. You are headed towards the different cultures dont mix thing. And I agree with you.
But you are not going so far as Ambi when he says enforced mixing of cultures causes violence.
I totally agree that different cultures have limited overlaping circles, often not overlaping at all. But that does not mean we cant live next door to each other.
I only have one Chinese guy here who I would call a friend. But I have 2 brits I have met here I would call good friends. The cross cultural friendship stuff is difficult, and honestly, not worth the effort to force.
However, to hate your neighbour because of culture is not on. Its amazingly easy to live next door to someone without talking, and without having a negative opionion of their cultural lifestyle.

Actually I wasn't thinking that deep although i see what you mean....all I was pointing out that the photo was another sex in China promotion to get Randy awkward foreigners into China so they can be exploited by unscrupulous employers .

Forward Question

A: Wow, you really found that nitpicky talking point that elevates the fo

A:Wow, you really found that nitpicky talking point that elevates the fossil fuel industry to the same level as the interests of humanity. Isn't it all just a "liberal" scam, if you don't look too closely at the absence of logic? "Yes, it must be. My masters are hinting that that's what I should believe!"

You've made it clear you are consciously ignoring the pollution and global warming. Since your handlers, the conservative establishment whose dismantling of the carbon credit system and environmental destruction you choose to ignore, have made it clear you should bark in this direction, you are eager to please!

Such an admirably domesticated, dependable, subservient human. I'm sure your handlers will throw you a bone while they bring home the bacon for themselves. You're so obedient, you deserve a doggie cookie! Who's a good boy? You are! Yes, you are. U-S-A! Woof woof woof! -- coineineagh