"Masterman And Baby J" is track #75 on the album Guilty: 30 Years of Randy Newman. It was written by Newman, Randy.

"Masterman And Baby J" is track #75 on the album Guilty: 30 Years of Randy Newman. It was written by Newman, Randy.

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People tell me that I brag a lot 'cause I call myself the Masterman
Always talkin' 'bout how I got dynamite in every hand
Hit it
Me and my brother we live alone, got no television, got no
telephone
But when we walk down the street people get out of the way
They say "Here come the Masterman and Baby J"
"Here come the Masterman and Baby J"
Hit it--hit it

When we get on the mike we'll be number one
Even top D.M.C. and Run
Everybody's really gonna have some fun
'Cause we're takin' 'em all the way down
We're takin' 'em all the way down
Gonna rap about this, gonna rap about that
Gonna tell everybody where it's at
All over the world people gonna say
You got to dig the Masterman and Baby J
You got to dig the Masterman and Baby J
Hit it

People tell me "Man you live in a dump"
"You won't never be nothin' but a pumped-up chump"
You got no money--you got no sense
You won't never be nothing, you won't ever be nothing
I say well-well-well-well
When I look out my window, you know what I see
I don't see no whores in the stinkin' street
I don't see no drunks and junkies dying
I don't see no bums or garbage flyin'
I see me and J in the L.A. Coliseum
100,000 people on their feet
And they're laughin' and bumpin' and screamin' and cryin'
And jumpin' up on their seat

And then the band begins to play and then they hush up
And then the band begins to play and then they hush up
And it gets real quiet in the Coliseum with the stage all
dark and bare
Maybe a little rain begins to fall--yeah
But the people stayin' right there
Then you can hear that announcer say
Please welcome! (the crowd roars)
Please welcome! (the crowd roars)
L.A.'s own, the number one
The biggest, the best, the number one bad in the USA
The Masterman and Baby J!
The Masterman and Baby J!