Platinum Member

If we talk about the most ethical course of action, I'd say it would be for the OP to line up a suitable sub (someone said this earlier) so Girl A isn't left high and dry. Once a good sub has been found he would explain to Girl B what he wants to do and he's going to try to get off the hook gracefully and he'll let her know ASAP.

If he gets a win from Girl B (who will also be hoping not to be left high and dry), then explain the situation to Girl A, saying that you didn't expect the chance to go with Girl B.

But with no sub then the ethical thing is to do what John Travolta did in Pulp Fiction) - keep the seat warm for another man's girl.

Platinum Member

If we talk about the most ethical course of action, I'd say it would be for the OP to line up a suitable sub (someone said this earlier) so Girl A isn't left high and dry. Once a good sub has been found he would explain to Girl B what he wants to do and he's going to try to get off the hook gracefully and he'll let her know ASAP.

If he gets a win from Girl B (who will also be hoping not to be left high and dry), then explain the situation to Girl A, saying that you didn't expect the chance to go with Girl B.

But with no sub then the ethical thing is to do what John Travolta did in Pulp Fiction) - keep the seat warm for another man's girl.

The other ethical thing to do is ...

If the OP doesn't return with a report I think we should ask DB to bring out the Ban Hammer

Platinum Member

Senior Member

First off, I decided to change the location of the "date" since I found out this morning from a post on her Facebook wall from her sister that she's a vegetarian, and depending on how extreme her views are on that, I didn't want that to be an issue at first. So I remembered seeing a window sticker on her car for a coffee shop and thought I'd do that instead.

The good news:
I asked, and didn't have to pull her aside or do anything awkward! to get her alone! I had to bring a small portion of my kit to class tonight, so after class was done I went out to bring my car around to the campus loading area and waited a minute for her to come out before doing so. I asked her by her car just before she left.

The bad news:
She thought about it for a second and said she'd get back to me, which I'm going to assume for now is a no.

Well at least I did it, and I could be wrong about the 2nd one. It's possible that I just asked at a bad time, or she had something else on her mind or whatnot. Maybe she'll actually get back to me on that one next week! In the mean time, I'll just relax about it and not think so much about the future. I have nothing against her honestly, so I'll just keep talking to her when the opportunities arise and maybe try to further our friendship. If that doesn't happen, there are other girls out there, and at least I know I can do it!

Platinum Member

Man, don't be a pessimist. She wants to be pursued, obviously. "I'll think about" means "yes, but I want you to ask me again because I'm not easy". She just wants to know if you're really into her. Next time, use the McDonalds burger line! Ha!

Silver Member

First off, I decided to change the location of the "date" since I found out this morning from a post on her Facebook wall from her sister that she's a vegetarian, and depending on how extreme her views are on that, I didn't want that to be an issue at first. So I remembered seeing a window sticker on her car for a coffee shop and thought I'd do that instead.

The good news:
I asked, and didn't have to pull her aside or do anything awkward! to get her alone! I had to bring a small portion of my kit to class tonight, so after class was done I went out to bring my car around to the campus loading area and waited a minute for her to come out before doing so. I asked her by her car just before she left.

The bad news:
She thought about it for a second and said she'd get back to me, which I'm going to assume for now is a no.

Well at least I did it, and I could be wrong about the 2nd one. It's possible that I just asked at a bad time, or she had something else on her mind or whatnot. Maybe she'll actually get back to me on that one next week! In the mean time, I'll just relax about it and not think so much about the future. I have nothing against her honestly, so I'll just keep talking to her when the opportunities arise and maybe try to further our friendship. If that doesn't happen, there are other girls out there, and at least I know I can do it!

Well done, man, congrats! You did it! Making the first move is the hardest part.
Now take it easy, be cool, don't push it, don't rush and don't panic. It'll be alright.

Look, I met my current girlfriend at a rock show I went. She was a friend of a friend of a friend, lol. I did everything possible to be around her, I made friends with her friends, got her facebook, msn, got invited to the places she was.. etc.

It took me 6 and a half months to finally be with her. 6 and a half months, man!!! For the first two months, the girl didn't even remember my name.. so go figure.. It takes time!! Just be cool and enjoy the ride. When you look back, you'll see that this "flirting" part of the relationship is probably the greatest.

Pollyanna's Agent

Doctor Dirt

Guest

The Female Human has offered the "chase" the Male Human isn't sure but he thinks he may go for it! Theres always the distant chance that he will be the loser here and be devoured alive in Whooly Bully Marriage uno dos a 1, 2, tre, esquarto.............DEAD! Doc

.....this a fictional view of marriage from someone whos been married for 31 years and I'm so happy I forgot what it is.........................

Senior Member

I decided to act on a tip of advice from someone earlier who asked about friends in common, so I decided to talk to my teacher who plays in the Zep cover band with her about her. He had a whole slot free after my lesson, so we ended up just talking about this that entire time. I just felt like it would be a really good thing to do since he knows her far better than I do, and I was still unsure about her answer.

So anyway, he said while the 2 of them are great friends in spite of the age difference (she's 18, he's 35), one thing he has never been able to figure out about her is her attitude towards dating. She's cute, she's single, he sees guys hit on her, but she has this one specific type of guy she's looking for and that guy isn't me. Combine these with some personal things that I don't really feel like posting even vague details about online in case she were to ever see this, it sounds like a relationship is not in her near future. So coming from her, it means no.

On the positive side, he said that she had told him that we talked before and that she's never had anything bad to say about me (he said he'd know if she didn't like me), and that if I ever just wanna hang out with her, he's sure she'd be interested. He even invited me to hang with them sometime. So I definitely am in the process of making a friend here at least.And I know that some people may have difficulty being friends with a girl that they were rejected by, but I think in this case it's different since I know the way she is with dating and that really it's not me why this didn't go the way I hoped it would, it's her.

some people may have difficulty being friends with a girl that they were rejected by, but I think in this case it's different since I know the way she is with dating and that really it's not me why this didn't go the way I hoped it would, it's her.

Thanks for the encouragement man, but really, knowing the way she is, it really is better for me to just stop pursuing her as a girlfriend and just be her friend. If you were me in this situation and had it been you having the same talk we did, you would feel the same way. I don't think any of you will fully understand that unless I were to sit down and type out everything that was said, which I won't do. Granted, she's only 18 and may change as she gets older, but it won't happen anytime soon I have a feeling and I'm perfectly OK with that. Still feeling disappointed that it didn't work out the way I had hoped, but that's it.

Knowing the way she is, she wouldn't be impressed. Thanks for the encouragement guys, but really, this isn't gonna happen on that level. She's a friend and nothing else, and really it's better left that way. He used the word "enigma" to describe her, and I couldn't think of a better word to use honestly. There's really no way I can explain the way she is without disclosing way too much personal information on a web forum. No matter what ways I could possibly use in an attempt to woo her, it's not gonna happen.