Category Archives: The Bachelor

Here’s a question for you. You have two choices of what to eat for dinner: 1.) a lovely, balanced meal that will leave you feeling sated, happy, energized, and good about yourself or 2.) a steak that looks lovely but is actually so tough and difficult to get through that it leaves you feeling frustrated, […]

Three hours. Three hours of my life I can never get back. I don’t know about you, but my self-respect has hit an all-time low after last night’s marathon of stupidity. And OH MY GOD I just realized we have to do it again next week. Between the time wasted on Rachel’s date (because we […]

You guys, I didn’t think it could happen, and last night it did. The Bachelor took us to new heights.Well, all of us but Raven. Seriously, just when you think this show — notably, the Fantasy Suite episode — couldn’t get any more uncomfortable and weird and cringeworthy, it does. And surprisingly and downright shockingly […]

You guys, clearly we aren’t the only ones who think this season is the worst ever. Last week ABC went ahead and spoiled it for us three weeks out by publicly announcing Rachel Lindsay – a girl still IN IT TO WIN IT as far as we are concerned – as the new Bachelorette (a call, […]

I know I’ve said it before, but you guys, today’s recap is probably going to be short. No, I swear. Why? BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT. Seriously, OH MY GOD could this season be any more tedious and uninteresting, not to mention depressing? It’s almost enough to make you want to go to […]

Two recaps in one post, ya’ll, and yes, I’m doubly disappointed in myself. One, for continuing with this disaster of a season at all, and two, for giving up three + extra hours of my life slogging through it here on the blog for another week when only like 54 people are bothering to read […]

Since I was hurtling through the air on a plane back to Minneapolis on Monday night, I didn’t get to watch the most recent shenanigans until Tuesday, and you guys, those two hours of my life THAT I’LL NEVER GET BACK have been bitch slapping me ever since. Seriously, three episodes in and this is […]

It’s only week two into our descent into Hell, Bachelor fans, and I don’t know about you, but I’m already starting to feel the burn. Nick, on the other hand, is already starting to feel the boobs. Grab a drink, douse yourself in Purell, and let’s get this over with. Disclaimer: The following is a […]

Happy New Year, my Bachelor-lovin’ friends! What better way to usher in a brand new year than with a brand new Bachelor! HAHAHA JUST KIDDING. I haven’t been dreading a season this much since psychotic-in-a-silent-way Jake Pavelka. What is it about serial contestant Nick Viall (pronounced “Vile” because God has a kick-ass sense of humor) […]

Q: What do dolphins, Ariel the mermaid, and Olivia Pope have in common? A: strength B: beauty C: free-spiritedness D: an addiction to fine any Cabernet E: three things most girls who sell their souls to ABC wish they could be D (again). all of the above I think the answer is obvious. D. For […]