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Month: January 2017

I believe that one of the best ways to close to wage gap is for each of us to commit to mentoring and supporting our teammates as they negotiate their contracts. I have been really lucky to have great mentors who helped me think through my projects and contracts, so I try to pay it forward with my coworkers friends too.

I advocate for other workers, because I think being honest and supportive upfront reduces turnover and builds a better team.

There are a few ways that I do this to support my communities. I hope by sharing my process, we can all do a better job supporting each other.

1. Help them navigate market wage rates and your own company’s salary scale as best you can.

I was an economics student who was obsessed with pricing and how prices are determined by the market. This made it very easy for me to know where to go to learn about competitive market rates for different skill sets, but many of the workers I’m coached through the years feel like they’re left in the dark about what they can ask for when they negotiate their salaries. Companies have a lot of incentives to keep these numbers quiet. You can help improve transparency here and provide immediate relief for your teammates by helping them gather information through your own experiences and network.

I realize this can be complicated when you are hiring someone for your team. I think there are roles we can each play in this process, and I encourage you to find one that is comfortable for you.

2. Help them think through what they could ask for (both financially and in terms of other responsibilities and benefits in their jobs)

Once you have some background research together on salary and a benefits package, you can design a “wish list” contract together. I always assume there will be some price negotiation, so I encourage people to ask for a little more than they their ideal salary. Then we talk through the benefits they would like, which could be things like a learning stipend for classes, flexible vacation days or working from home sometimes, getting to shadow someone in the company whose job you’d like to learn more about, etc..

Then, we write up their dream document carefully and talk through which items are absolute priorities that would cause them to keep or reject the opportunity, things that they would be very excited to have at their new job, and things that would be nice to include.

3. Help them practice asking clearly and confidently for what they want.

Negotiating contracts is a terrifying experience for most people, especially for people who have been socialized to be agreeable as a priority. This is an important time to learn to advocate for yourself and your projects down the road. Role playing this conversation out a few times and imagining different scenes playing out can be a really helpful way to build confidence.

I usually start by helping my friend make very clear statements about what they want and what they are willing to negotiate on. Then we work on making them confident and calm while they ask for those things. We talk about when to ask for more time to think about something or ask for a counter offer, when to accept different terms, and how to create space in your head to weigh your options clearly within losing focus to pressure.

4. Talk them through the worst case scenarios.

There is a possibility that this negotiation will not work out as you planned. Sometimes it’s helpful to work through a pre-mortem of the worse case scenarios, such as the company wont negotiate, they tell you you’re asking for too much, they pressure you for an immediate answer. Sometimes going through these scenarios in advance makes it less painful if the negotiation doesn’t go well.

I always finish this part by reminding my friend that this experience, negotiating and being confident asking for what you need and want, is important for every corner of life. It never hurts to have a little more practice. And learning to manage failure is an enormous strength to develop.

5. Celebrate with them if it goes well. Be a warm figure in the office they can turn to when they get nervous or bad news.

I always check in after a negotiation to see how it went. If it went well, we celebrate together! Some victories come from unexpected places, and you may end up with something completely different from where you started, but if the friend is happy with their results, you should be too.

If it’s hard and didn’t go well, I will take the person for a walk and remind them why I believe in them. I remind them that their salary and job description does not define them, but their growth in this moment and similarly challenging ones does. I tell them I am proud of them for asking because this is the only way that it gets better (f*ck the wage gap). AND I remind them that it will be even easier to ask in the future.

Special thanks to my mentors and peer-mentors who helped me gain my confidence in negotiating for myself.

I am excited to introduce the Spring 2017 salon calendar! As I did with the fall calendar, I will update this with our readings and questions as we move through the Spring. Think of this as a Work-in-Progress Syllabus.

1/22 2017: what’s your next jump?

It was nice to meet with everyone right after the women’s march in NYC. This was a more simple salon and question, since we know it’s been a strange time for many people and we hoped offering some reflective space here would be helpful.

We asked the group, “what will your next big jump or risk be for 2017?” Each person offered their reflections on the end of the year and where they wanted to grow this year. Especially in a year where political participation mattered in new ways to some of our salon members.

Our upcoming topics include:2/19: Anger3/5: Men explain things to me

Rebecca Solnit’s Hope in the Dark kept me sane during the 2016 election. We thought this was a good time for her collection of essays, Men Explain Things To Me.

3/19: Strangers in their own land reading group

Our reading group from the fall (Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Between the World and Men) decided this was a good way to follow up on our really interesting discussion on race and America from the fall.