When Alzheimer’s patients lose their way, kindness and patience are the best medicine

Estimated people in San Diego County who have Alzheimer’s disease, with more than 100,000 people caring for them.

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Someone in America develops Alzheimer’s disease.

When Larry Vigdor’s wife, Sandy, asks him the same question 10 times in as many minutes, he doesn’t roll his eyes or groan in frustration. He smiles and answers her repetitive question calmly and respectfully as if it were the first time he was asked.

“I just had to make up my mind to be patient. And, I’ve learned some tips and how to handle some (situations) along the way,” said the retired attorney from San Carlos, who cares for his wife of 57 years who has Alzheimer’s disease. “Yes, I get frustrated and exhausted, but I look at my wife and I know if I were ill, she’d be doing twice as much for me.”

Caring for or simply communicating with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease requires a special set of skills, which often can be learned through trial and error or from experts. However, no one method is right for every patient, and strategies are constantly in flux as symptoms change with the progression of the disease.

Local Alzheimer’s disease experts, along with caregivers, offer some successful approaches and useful tips for people interacting with a dementia patient:

Q: How should I react when an Alzheimer’s patient asks the same question over and over?

A: “Acknowledge them and answer the question again in the same way you did previously,” said Frances Martinez-Goodrich, a social worker at UC San Diego Shiley-Marcos Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center. “Never say, ‘You already asked me that.’ ”

It’s important not to appear irritated or frustrated when answering the same question because the patient will mirror your emotions. If you are tense and anxious, they may be also.

Some Alzheimer’s disease experts recommend writing down the answer and giving it to the patient. Instead of asking you the question repeatedly, they can look at your answer on paper.

However, don’t expect a person with later stages of Alzheimer’s to be able to follow a written answer or directions.

“As the disease progresses, there’s a decrease in the brain’s ability to figure out what words mean when they read. It’s a comprehension issue. To them it may just be a scramble of letters,” said Laura Printy, education manager at the San Diego and Imperial counties chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association.

Q: What’s the best way to explain something to an Alzheimer’s patient?

A: Break down tasks or explanations into simple, easy steps. Instead of telling them to get dressed, you may need to tell them to take off their robe, then put on underwear, then pull a shirt over their head, etc. Same goes for speaking with them. Use short, simple sentences. Ask just one question at a time and wait for an answer.