Thirty Before Thirty: August Update

28. Find a life coach/therapist that doesn’t start a session with “I want to talk about how something you said last session upset me personally” and talk about all my feelings at least four times

I found a therapist via PsychologyToday.com. Actually, I sent inquiries to two people, and one responded within minutes. I looked for a female therapist that specialized in weight management and couples therapy. At the time of my online search, Team McJohnson was in the throes of deciding where Josh would work post-clerkship. The process was slightly more stressful than I anticipated for a variety of reasons. In the end, Josh had two choices and chose the job where a tattoo was unnecessary. But I wanted to leave the door open for therapy as a unit if need be. So far, we have not used that resource. The law firm decision is made, and as always with life, more pressing concerns have already taken hold. For the time being, my “therapy” for our current familial problems is sending the same text message over and over to my mother: I would trade any of the problems* you had with Dad’s family for the ones** we face with Josh’s.

That only costs me my cellphone data charge.

My therapist has an office in Dupont Circle, which should be noted because it is not the closest therapist to my office. That is how I chose my LAST therapist: proximity to work. It worked out worse than you could imagine when using such high level vetting. This therapist is pretty great because she uses techniques in her therapy. For a while now, I had been thinking that one of the best ways to deal with some of my emotional issues was to become like one of those kids that has to be brushed to calm down his sensors. Emotional Freedom Technique may seem a little wacky (wish I could see McKatie and Mum’s faces when they read this). I am ready for a challenge beyond talky therapy.

I’ve had three appointments, with a fourth on the books for this Thursday. She suggested coming weekly, not every other week like our original schedule “to see faster results”. After the initial intake appointment, where I spent a lot of time saying “I had a therapist tell me this and that and another one said this.”, I realized I might be overwhelming for this therapist. She’s been licensed for a few years now, but seems just a tad bit green. But! Lucky for her, I’ve always been a very introspective patient and can easily move the conversation where it needs to be. I could seriously spend every weeknight seeing a therapist to work out all my issues: discussing my childhood, my anger, my self-esteem. But, I’ve chosen to use my $130 (srsly, mental health care has GOT to start getting full coverage in America (as I type this on the day of another shooting rampage)) and discuss why I am so fat right now.

Of course, you are not suppose to say fat. Overweight, which is actually what it says on my medical chart because that is what I technically am. This is a lot for me to handle. Actually, that phrase doesn’t give this situation the correct weight (pun intended). I’m someone who will easily admit that doing laundry is a lot for me to handle, so managing my weight is actually A LOT FOR ME TO HANDLE. I’m about 13 pounds overweight, more like 20 if we want to be honest, and if we want to be REALLY honest, I’ve gained 30 pounds since I’ve moved to Washington, DC in 2008 at age 24. A little over 5 pounds each year. If I keep up that rate, I’ll be in Homer Simpson/Henry VIII mumu territory before Hillary wins her second term in office. (Yes, I went there.)

Me, typing on my blog in the year 2020

Have I lost any weight? No. Have I gained weight? Always. I’m working on it. For the first time in my 10 years of on-off therapy, I’m actually addressing an issue that has to do with me. Not others’ perception of me, not my perception of them. Not the unknown future or stagnant past.

We’ll see how this goes.

Editor’s Notes:

* problems = personality clashes
** The way to best describe it is that line from Juno where she says: Oh, just out dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.