Baldy's BombastWhen you absolutely, positively have to know what Baldy is thinking.

August 15, 2011Ron Paul easily the biggest winner at Iowa straw poll; Romney the biggest loserAt the Iowa straw poll held August 13, Ron Paul fared far better than any of the corporate-controlled media predicted he would, and now they're running scared. The results appear below, followed by my analysis, which I offer free to our premium subscribers, and everyone else.

Michele BachmannNice move by Michele Bachmann's campaign, giving free tickets to a Randy Travis concert to those who voted for Bachmann. The Bachmann camp probably figured they needed all the help they could get to overcome the nasty reality that Bachmann was a tax prosecutor for the IRS from 1988 to 1993, and that her speech at the straw poll was quite possibly the worst political speech of all time (the sound doesn't work for the first 30 seconds, the best 30 seconds of the video).

Ron PaulRon Paul was the big winner and clearly established himself as a top-tier candidate by coming within 152 votes of first place. When you finish second by 0.9 percent, that's pretty darn close to a tie, yet the corporate-controlled media continue to suggest he's not a serious player (like Mr. Three-Point-Four-Percent Front-Runner Mitt Romney; now there's a serious player). Could it be that Americans are ready for a principled, peaceful, non-pandering president who actually says something meaningful in his speeches?

Tim PawlentyTo his credit, he worked Iowa hard, unlike Mitt "The Chicken" Romney (see below). But within fourteen hours of the results being announced, he figured out what almost everybody who has heard of this guy already knew: We don't want him.

Rick SantorumRick Santorum no doubt Googled "Iran 1953" once he got back to his hotel room after being schooled by Ron Paul in the debate two days before the straw poll, but the education he got was too little, too late. Rick, dude, listen up: You got less than three-fourths of the votes that Pawlenty got, and he threw in the towel fourteen hours after the straw-poll votes were counted because he figured out real quick that he has no chance. Neither do you.

Herman CainHe did okay, considering he's a former chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City and says we don't need an audit of the Federal Reserve, two facts that he probably forgot to mention while in Iowa.

Mitt RomneyNice move by Mitt Romney's campaign, not showing up. Would you show up if you were supposedly the "national front-runner" but you knew there was nothing that separated you, in a positive way, from the rest of the field? I wouldn't. I would make all kinds of excuses why I couldn't go to Iowa (I have to starch my hair; I have to wash my magic underwear; I have to start writing concession speeches). Romney, if he says anything at all about the straw-poll results, will no doubt explain away his pathetic vote count (567, or 3.4 percent) by saying he wasn't trying. What he won't truthfully explain is why he didn't try: he woulda got crushed, and he knows it. Hey, Mitt: Rick Perry got way more votes than you did, and he wasn't even on the ballot! Talk about getting your "front-runner" ass kicked by someone who made no effort at all in Iowa.

Rick PerryMany, many strikes against this guy. To name just three: He was Al Gore's Texas campaign manager in 1988; he spoke at the Bilderberg conference in 2007; also in 2007, he signed an executive order mandating that sixth-grade girls in Texas be vaccinated against human papillomavirus. Sounds like a liberty-loving, small-government conservative. NOT.

Newt GingrichGee, I wonder why he's calling for an audit of the Fed now, but he didn't when he was Speaker of the House. Iowans seem to know a pretender when they see one. And they saw one here.

John HuntsmanReally? Do I have to write something about a guy whose vote total does nothing but send sophomoric minds racing? I ain't doin' it.

Thaddeus McCotterHe got thirty-five votes. Out of nearly seventeen thousand. That's kinda sucky. I gotta think I could have got at least least thirty-six write-in votes for my cat, given two days to campaign. I know I could have.More at Baldy's Bombast page