Rack (Bob the Tomato): Um, what would happen. Say, if someone didn't quite agree with everything in that song, so they didn't, um... didn't sing it. What would happen?

Mr. Nezzer: What's that over there?

Shack (Junior Asparagus): That's the furnace.

Mr. Nezzer: What's it for?

Benny (Larry the Cucumber): Well, that's where the bad bunnies go.

Mr. Nezzer: Let's just say, in my mind, if you don't bow down and sing the song, you're a BAD bunny.

Rack: You don't mean?

Mr. Nezzer: But I'm sure that won't happen. It's almost time for the ceremony. I'll see you out there.

Laura Carrot: Sorry, sir, can't let you cook my buddies.

Mr. Nezzer: Guards, get them.

Laura Carrot: Hang on, guys.

Dave And the Giant Pickle

(The Philistines, portrayed by the French Peas, are taunting the Israelites from across the battlefield)

Jean-Claude: Hello, Israelites! You are pigs, and soon we will put apples in your mouths and stick you in our toaster ovens! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Christophe: Ah, yes, after we defeat you, you will be our slaves and you will have to fetch us our slippers.

Jean-Claude: Yes, and iron our trousers!

Christophe: Ho-ho, and wipe our little noses.

Jean-Claude: Ha-ha, and scratch that spot on our backs that we cannot reach no matter how hard we try. Ha! (no response from the Israelites) Don't you have anything to say?

Jimmy Gourd: Um... do you guys have any fried chicken? I've got a real hankering for fried chicken.

Jerry Gourd: Yeah, me too!

Jean-Claude: (to Christophe) This is going to be easier than we thought.

Goliath: Who will fight me!?

Dave (Junior Asparagus): I will fight you, Goliath!

Goliath: (sees Dave) Oh ho ho! Am I a dog that you come at me with sticks?

(Philistines laugh)

Dave: I don't exactly know what you mean, but you are not a dog! You're just a really big guy who wants to beat me up! And I come at you not with sticks, but in the name of the God of Israel, who this day will help me defeat you!

Goliath: We will see who defeats who! Now we fight!

The Toy That Saved Christmas

(The Veggie kids watch intently as a TV commercial plays)

Wally P. Nezzer: (dressed as Santa Claus) Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Hey kids, do you have the "don't know what I want for Christmas" blues? If I know my toys, and you know I do, than I know just what you're looking for. You want a toy that's fun. You want a toy that's cute. Most importantly, you want a toy with a fully-functioning buzzsaw in his right hand. That's right, you want Buzz-Saw Louie!

(camera shows the toy and demonstrates the buzzsaw)

Mr. Nezzer: Cool, huh? But wait, there's more! Buzz-Saw Louie also knows the true meaning of Christmas. All you have to do is push his nose and... (presses the Louie's nose)

Buzzsaw Louie: Christmas is when you get stuff! You need more toys!

Mr. Nezzer: Getting your own doll is easy. Just have your parents place an order, and one of our trained penguins will deliver it right to your door.

Announcer: Delivery not available to Pugslyville due to the collapse of the Pugslyville Bridge.

Mr. Nezzer: So take it from me, Mr. Nezzer... I mean, Santa Claus and his little elf helper.

Mr Lunt: (wearing pointed ears and hat) Look at me, I'm an elf!

Mr. Nezzer: You just won't be happy until you have Buzz-Saw Louie, the only toy with a working buzzsaw and the true meaning of Christmas.

Buzzsaw Louie: Billy has more toys than you.

(The commercial ends, and the Veggie kids run home to beg their parents for more toys)

Junior: (crying) Mom! Mom! We need more toys!

Percy: Billy has more toys than me!

Dad Pea: Who's Billy?

Percy: I dunno, but he has more toys than me!

Laura: (whines loudly) I want a Buzz-Saw Louie!

Lenny: I want ten Buzz-Saw Louies!

Laura and Lenny: Cuz that's the true meaning of Christmas! (crying)

(Bob is lying upside down in a snow pile after crashing in Junior's sled)

(Mr. Nezzer is about to send Bob, Larry, Junior, and Louie over the broken Puggslyville bridge)

Mr. Nezzer: One more thing. If those parents really care about the true meaning of Christmas, where are they now?

Dad Asparagus: We're right here!

Mr. Nezzer: Huh? (turns to see the Veggie parents and their kids glaring back)

Dad Asparagus: We care much about the true meaning of Christmas, Mr. Nezzer!

Dad Carrot: That's what we came here... to give you what you deserve!

Mr. Nezzer: Wha-wha-oh! You didn't really think I was going to... heh... oh, that was just... just a joke! I wouldn't... What are you going to do?

(Laura confronts to Mr. Nezzer, now with a happy face, handing him a present.)

Laura: Mr. Nezzer... Merry Christmas!

Mr. Nezzer: Huh? Is that for me? Oh, it's a little bear! Oh, I always wanted a Christmas present, but we were too poor! You don't know how happy this makes me! Look! Isn't it cute!

Very Silly Songs

Larry: Hi kids. I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first VeggieTales home-improvement video. I hope you're ready to monkey wrench. I know I am. (hops over to the sink) What we're going to do today is change this old leaky fixture on the sink. We're going to replace it with a new one, which will be quite attractive and last for years to come. Oh, and by the way, it's very important with any plumbing job to shut off the water supply. So I had my assistant Jimmy turn off the water to the kitchen. (twists the wrench)

Jimmy: Oh... you meant the kitchen sink. (faucet explodes and sends Larry flying in a blast of water) I thought we were working on bathrooms and decks.

Larry: Boooooob!

Larry: Hi kids. I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first VeggieTales success video. Are you ready to make millions of dollars in real-estate with no money down? I know I am.

Bob: LARRY!

Larry: Yeah, Bob?

Bob: Don't you see? This is a sing-along video!

Larry: Ohhhhh, a sing-along video. I like sing-along videos. That's when you put the words at the bottom of the screen so people can sing along at home, right?

Bob: Yup.

Larry: Oh, the kids are gonna love that. What song should we do first?

Bob: (rolls his eyes since the show's almost over) Never mind. (leaves)

Josh And the Big Wall

(Discouraged by the giant walls of Jericho, the Veggie Israelites discuss plans over a campfire)

Pa Grape: This time, I really mean it! We should go back to Egypt. (everybody looks at him in disbelief) Don't you remember? Snorkeling in the Nile? Three square meals a day? Plenty of exercise? Oh, it was paradise!

Tom Grape: We were in slavery.

Pa Grape: Nothing is perfect.

Jimmy Gourd: Listen kids! That land is rightfully ours! And the only way we're gonna get it is by taking down that wall! Right Jerry?

Jerry Gourd: Uh yeah. That's right Jimmy.

Jimmy Gourd: So Jerry and I are gonna put our heads together and come up with a plan...to take down the wall!

Jerry Gourd: Yeah!

Pa Grape: They are so aggressive.

Tom Grape: How are we clapping?

Pa Grape: I have no idea.

Tom: Well Pa? Do you still want to see the pyramids?

Pa: I've seen the pyramids. Ha! I built the pyramids! Let's go to Jericho!

Madame Blueberry

Bob: Larry. How much stuff do you need to be happy?

Larry: I don't know. How much stuff is there?

Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings-

Archibald: Just a moment! Wait! Stop talking! (Archibald runs out on stage as a bear-trapped Larry stands and watches) Excuse me, I have an announcement. Ahem... Because of the high standard we on this show strive to adhere to, and as a result of the disastrous outcome of the previous Silly Song, management has decided to review compositions from other performers for this segment. Several artists were screened and we chose one based on the applicant's sense of artistry and all-around proprietary. Thank you.

Larry: So what are you saying?

Archibald: I'm saying that Silly Songs is cancelled until further notice.

Larry: (blinks in disbelief) Oh yeah?! Well, how'm I supposed to get out of this bear trap?

Archibald: I'm sure you'll figure something out.

(Construction peas move a new title card into view)

Narrator: And now it's time for Love Songs with Mr. Lunt, the part of the show where Mr. Lunt comes out and sings a love song.

Madame Blueberry: I am not leaving until I have everything I need to be happy!

Archibald: It's just that I was only looking out for the public's best interests. We do have standards to uphold, you know. (Jimmy glares) Yes, I see. But then I got these! (pulls out a stack of signed petitions and reads) "We the undersigned believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget the Song of the Cebu incident and return Silly Songs with Larry to its original Veggie programming. Signed, 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota, and even someone in Moose Lake."

Larry: Moose Lake?

Archibald: Yes, Moose Lake.

Larry: Wow... Moose Lake.

Larry Boy and the Rumor Weed

The Weed: [sings] I'm a rumor weed! I'm a rumor weed! A tiny little story is all I need to make a big mess! I'm a rumor weed!

Alfred: I'm not a robot, I'm... British!

Mayor Blueberry: We're sorry for thinking that you were a robot.

Mr. Nezzer: We didn't even ask you if it was true!

Alfred: Oh, I forgive you... I forgive you all! (looks around) Has anybody seen LarryBoy?

(A beat-up LarryBoy drags himself out of the sewers by his plunger-ears)

LarryBoy: Hey, Alfred... everyone... someone was telling me that you were a robot- (Everybody shushes him loudly)

Omelet: To eat or not to eat, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to share my eggs cooked light and fluffy, or to scarf down the whole thing myself. And to take "Tums" against a sea of indigestion. To eat, perchance to get a tummy ache! Aye, there's the rub.

Sven (Larry): [sings] I need to go to the bathroom!

Otar (Bob): Uh Sven, you can stop singing now.

Pea Monk: Right there.

Pa Monk: Hang on, Lyle! Help is on the way!

Sven: [sings] If Olaf finds out, you'll be in big trouble!

Otar: Uh, you can just talk.

Sven: [sings] You guys go ahead. We'll catch up!

Otar: Uh, Sven? You don't have to sing.

Sven: [sings] But it's a musical!

Otar: Yeah. I know, but you don't have to sing every line.

The Star of Christmas

Millward (Larry): It's Moyer the Destroyer!

Cavis (Bob): Run Millward!

Cavis: Millward, just climbing!

Millward: It's gonna close, Cavis.

Millward: Seymour, remember how you promised me I could take the rocket car for a ride sometime?

Seymour (Pa Grape): Uh ya.

Millward: It's time!

The Ballad of Little Joe

Mayor (Mr. Nezzer): [sings] Seven cows sat on a hill, so big and fat. I got my grill. I was thinking about a BBQ. Then seven scrawny ones came along and GULP..The big fat cows were gone.

Jimmy and Jerry: Oh... Why? Why me? Isn't he? (gasping)(screaming)

Jimmy Gourd: Whew... And that's I woke up screaming, But why did is a dream mean, Joe?

Scallion 1: You, the blacksmith will be a chain gang... Up the river! [evil laughs]

Mayor: You did it, Little Joe. He saved the town!

Little Joe (Larry): Yeah...

An Easter Carol

Millward (Larry): Is that one supposed to be me? Because I'm not that fat.

Mr. Nezzer: Its a bug! A big bug!

Hope: Do I look like a bug to you?

Mr. Nezzer: (after looking at the clock) Yep, I'm just going to stay awake. I'm not tired at all. I'm just going to stay wiiidddee....(snores)

Mr. Nezzer: Here we go! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2... Hit it!

Cavis (Bob): (screaming)

Mr. Nezzer and Cavis: (screaming)

Mr. Nezzer: Whew! We made it!

A Snoodle's Tale

Butterbun (Scooter the Carrot): Your special just the way God made you.

God: And lastly your wings. You know what they're for. But not just to fly, son. I want you to soar!