OMG - Just like my customer who asked what his rx label meant that said "Take 1 tablet 2 times a day." After a 10 minute explanation of morning and night (so...take 1 tablet and then take another one in an hour? beating head against table). Three phone calls later, he asks me...so does 2 times a day mean in the SAME day!!! aaaaaahhhhh. Gouging brains out with an ice pick.

And this is a man in his 40s taking care of his mom who is in her 70s.

Took a break from reading the journal articles in front of me to read this and now have realized that I have a major problem: how can I trust that the results of any clinical trials in humans are accurate if patients can't follow directions (let alone be trusted w/compliance)?! I mean, at least we know exactly what dose of medication the rats got...but the humans?! *headdesk* It's truly a miracle that humans haven't Darwined ourselves right out of existence....

You know, if you wrote "Eat more butter" he would have understood that without any help.

I think you may need to go to pictoral print-outs. Buy a digital camera and get Powerpoint. The handouts might consist of:

A picture of the man (or woman, depending on the patient). A picture of a bottle of Lipitor. A picture of the number of pills of Lipitor the patient is currently taking. A picture of the patient holding the clearly labeled Lipitor pills and a glass of water, with a big NO circle over it. A picture of all their other pills (or a circle with the words "All your other medication") with a big YES checkmark on it.

I'm sure with practice your staff could get the handout creation time down to 4-5 minutes.

I read through this and thought "I'm sure I had that bloke on the phone asking for computer support at some stage".

Me: Can you please turn your computer off, and then turn it back on again.They: You want me to turn the computer off?Me: Yes.They: And then turn it back on again?Me: Yes.They: Do I need to unplug my mouse?Me: No, just turn the computer off and back on again.

Me: (thinking, how do you know you have strep throat? whatever...): I can recommend you something to help with pain from a sore throat, but if you really have strep throat, you need to see a doctor to get a prescription for antibiotics.

Guy: There are no antibiotics over the counter?

Me: No sir, there are no antibiotics over the counter for strep throat. You need a prescription.

Guy: Oh ok. So, what antibiotics can I get over the counter for strep throat?

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

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