The all-time best-selling hardback book is entitled The Purpose-Driven Life, and it was written by a Christian pastor who sold tens of millions of copies to readers both within and without religious circles. The reason it sold as much as it did is because people were intrigued by the title and assumed that the emptiness in their own lives had to do with not knowing their life’s purpose.

Guess what? Like most literary fads, the book came and went, and people are still in the same state of confusion. Why? People remain confused because they are not in search of purpose. They are in search of fulfillment.

In Search of Satisfaction

This may sound like semantics—i.e., that I’m quibbling over the meaning of terms—but the idea of “purpose” places the emphasis upon an external goal. For example, you’ll often hear a mother say, “I live FOR my children”, which is actually not true. What you live for is the satisfaction that comes from manifesting your passion and talent for mothering.

You’re in search of satisfaction. I guarantee it. Deep down, what you do, you do because you’re after fulfillment. What is fulfillment? It is a satisfaction that is the direct result of you fully developing your own abilities or character.

I don’t mean to imply that a mother doesn’t live for her children in the sense that she only cares about her own satisfaction. That would be grossly untrue. The point is that personal fulfillment is built into the system. You do what you do because you’re fulfilling your calling in life, and when you fulfill something, you feel fulfilled.

Shifting from Self-Help to Personal Development

If you truly want to live a fulfilled life, then you must focus on personal development not purpose development. This is why I don’t care too much for the term “self-help”. The idea of self-help makes you sound like a victim or patient: you need help to get out of the illnesses of life.

Personal development basically says, “I have talents, abilities, interests, passions, and characteristics that I must develop in order to experience true and lasting fulfillment while leaving an impact on this world.” Big difference.

When it comes to life coaching, my starting point in dealing with a client is to see them make that mental shift from self-help to personal development. I want them to leave the land of “woe is me” and get on the path to becoming a bad ass.

Purpose Follows Personal Development

However, the idea of purpose comes in when you establish the “moral reason” for why you’re developing yourself. For example, I define success as “maximizing one’s resources for a purpose greater than themselves,” but you’ll notice that what comes first is maximizing who you are, i.e., personal development.

Purpose follows personal development as you establish the moral reason for what you do. To use the example of the mother again, she is developing her abilities as a mother for a purpose greater than herself. What is that purpose? Is it so that her kids grow up to be healthy adults? No. That would be too limited, because I guarantee you she’s already thinking about her grandchildren no matter how old her children are. Her understanding of her purpose goes beyond her own children.

Your Answer(s) Begin Inside You

That’s why true mothers help out younger mothers. It’s why true mothers are prone to help other mothers when that help is needed. Motherhood is like being a member of a huge international club in which only the members understand why they’re even there.

Mothers understand that without them fulfilling their gifting as caretakers, nurturers, teachers, etc, then the world would collapse upon itself. Mothers instinctively know they keep the world together. Mothers are the perfect example of how you maximize your resources for a purpose greater than yourself.

What I’m saying is that you should focus more on personal development than trying to find your purpose. The answers you need are not external to you. They begin inside you as you take into account your own resources (talents, abilities, interests, characteristics) and work diligently to see them fully developed. The end result is that you start living a satisfied life.

Have you started this process yet? Could you list your primary areas of interest and ability? How about giving me a little taste of that in the comments below?(Share this article on Facebook, Twitter, or by email)

My mission is to help equip people to maximize their resources for a purpose greater than themselves. That's what my own mentors and teachers have done for me, and I'm paying it forward. Life can be merciless, and the world can be a messed up place, so what's needed is a stronger people that can both endure and overcome in life. My motto is, "In whatever you do, don't suck! Metal up!"

Leave a comment! Let me hear from you!

13 replies to "Happy as Hell: How to Live a Satisfied Life… Now!"

MattR

June 19, 2012

Personal Development. This term REALLY identifies with me and I think the “self help” industry would benefit from using it more often. I think I have a knack for math, science and even music. I’d like to become a physicist and science communicator in which I bring science to a wider audience. I’d also like to become a kick ass guitarist on the way. If I develop these passions I can’t imagine not being prepared for any opportunity for fulfillment that presents itself. Many obstacles both internal and external lie in my path though. Onward.

I was first a metal head, then guitar player now Ive trained as a coach. Im in total agreement with you guys at metal motivation, music is a powerful motivator, and metal makes it supercharged! Keep up the good work from a fan and fellow metal warrior from England. Andy.

This is very practical advice across the spectrum. I’ve never been one to put myself into to many proverbial boxes, but somewhere in my recovery from brain injury, I “became” a “recoverER.” It paralyzed me. I was stuck where I was too long, and I stopped healing. At some point I realized that I had no incentive to actually HEAL, because I had so narrowly defined myselfand my purpose.

Andreas

June 20, 2012

I am a Big Believer that all motivation comes from Thy-self.
CJ I keep down my ideas and Inspirations.
I have a really great Voice and Talent for Martial Arts. I’ve always imagined that i was picking fights within me. I read books about fighting conditioning and Pure Strength training etc.
But somewhere within me , i have this anxiety, this confusion that i have to think things out first or i am going to die.
I learn to push through it, but sometimes when i’m really really exhausted i find it difficult to fight this temptation and i go back to this habits. Video Games and Excessive Music and Motivation Videos.
As a Coach , As a Personal TOR-MENTOR what do you suggest i do?
I also lock myself away from society with a pc and pdf manuals and books about developing skills. But i don’t want that. (btw i am a Teenager) I don’t feel like seing nobody but familiar faces or never going out until i succeed is the answer. I think something is draining me.
CJ what can i do to re- adjust myself and my goals? I Want to hear you suggestions because i really admire you and respect you 🙂 .
Please Reply and Thank you for reading this Comment.
Andreas

Andreas, you’ve listed several issues, and addressing all of them would take a great deal of time, and I’d be covering ground that I’ve already covered in my videos and articles. I’d say you’re contending with fear.

Andreas

June 21, 2012

I’ve overloaded myself with books. Man I gotta tell you, i think this is what is really draining me and is causing me anxiety.
Nothing else but processing thoughts all together and as a result they collide with one another, causing what we call anxiety….
I’ll Make Sure To re-read your Artices and re-Watch your Videos about fear until i internalize them( including that it will take time and me to really practise the principles)
Thank you C.J for your Reply
Andreas

The complexity of any problem is reduced proportionally to the amount of study applied to it. Keep plowing!

Andreas

June 26, 2012

Thank you! C.J I gathered my feet back. I realize that holding back in work and being more steady is far better. Now I Read and Practice for a certain amount of time.
Besides i researched on momentum here what I’ve found.
Proverbs 23:4:Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restrain.
Thank you C.J
I shall better start counting my blessings my man rather than going rampage and metal the **** up! m/

tungsten27

June 29, 2012

CJ, continue what you’re doing. You’re a blessing to me and others. Never mind the negative people like Andreas, they’re certainly just envious that you found your fulfillment in life and moved thousands of hearts. You rock! I hope to see more hard-headed and relentless motivations from you.. METAL UP!!!! Ooops by the way, I passed the Bar exams just recently and I am already a lawyer.. and metal motivation is part of this recent success of mine… =) Metal up guys!!

Iron Maiden

December 26, 2012

8 years ago I was completely lost thinking stick a fork in me I’m done… A few more highways to hell down the road, I’m busting my chops getting a degree in social work while raising my daughters.. Sometimes I think you’ve been poking around my mind m/^_^m/