Redmond, Washington - (June 17) - Yesterday, or
last week or something, Microsoft said they'd endorse
some standards or something. According to Chairman,
Bill Gates, "Microsoft will endorse some standards or
something, yah buncha sick motherfuckers."

PC Expo Is

Apparently there's a PC Expo. According to experts,
it is.

NetPCs Unveiled

Apparently, some NetPcs were unveiled, or something.

Murdock Buys Something

Rupert Murdock bought something last week. According to
CNN, it was Pat Robertson's Kiddy Porn Network.
According to Rupert Murdock, "I just bought something."
According to Pat Robertson, "Rupert Murdock, that sick
slimy motherfucker, apparently bought something from
me. It was either my kiddies or my kiddy porn network.
But who gives a fuck."

Murdock Sells Something

Murdock also sold something. "Hey, I also sold
something, ya slimy motherfuckers," said Murdock.

Rodman Appears on World Championship Wrestling

Dennis Rodman appeared on World Championship Wrestling,
last night. But instead of smashing a folding chair
over someone's head and kicking him in the balls and
biting his fucking head off and tunnelling down through
the neck and eating his fucking heart, Rodman told the
85,000 attendees they were a buncha sick
motherfucks and if they wanted to save their sorry
asses or souls or whatever, they better start reading more, you
know, "fuckin' Kierkegaard and Derrida, man."

King Found Dead

Either Larry King or Don King was found dead yesterday.
Though coroners were too fucking drunk or stoned to make
a positive ID, they immediately determined that the
victim had apparently died from accidentally schmoozing
himself to death.