Ask The Coach Guidance for those lost in sports

Dear Coach: My 10-year-old son idolizes Roger Clemens, and he'svery confused about the whole Mike Piazza-broken bat incident.Should I tell him Clemens is still a good role model, and if so,how do I explain that even legends make mistakes? CRASHING ROCKET

Dear Crashing: "Your son is feeling disillusioned, maybe evenbetrayed," says sports psychologist Frank Smoll. "He's putClemens on a pedestal, and he feels hurt and embarrassed forhim." But you can spin the Rocket's little lapse to the good.Teach the importance of taking responsibility for your actionsand of self-control by explaining that that's how Clemensslipped up. Then return to the Rocket's positive points. "Hispersistence and work ethic are highly valued attributes," saysSmoll. "He's still a tremendous role model."

Dear Coach: I ref in a hoops league for eight-year-olds, and I'muncertain how strict I should be. If I call every infraction,I'll take the fun out of playing. What do I do? WHISTLE BLOWER

Dear Blower: Let's just say you shouldn't be calling any illegaldefenses. "Show leniency," says Richard Stratton, associateprofessor of health and physical education at Virginia Tech."Obviously, don't let a kid take off down the court like arunning back, but allow an extra step here or there." Sinceparents can be sticklers for consistency, outline yourphilosophy for them. Remember that your role isn't just towhistle fouls; it's also to teach. "Have kids explain calls backto you," says Stratton. "Then you'll know they get it, and it'llcut down on the number of violations in the future."