"This creation was inspired by a reader who suggested inserting a cucumber dildo into a melon base so it could be "ridden". We've gone one better and added vibration and a second ridged cucumber for clit or anal stimulation." Well, well.

"One of nature’s perfect dildos – but now it won’t squish or get overripe. This faux fruit is realistically sized, made of plastic covered styrofoam, and it makes part of an attractive display on your counter or coffee table." They're not wrong.

"Those ridges on the rubberized thumb grip are placed just right for hitting the G-spot. We also found some tire scrubbers in the auto section with curved handles that would be great for prostate massage."

Here we have the 'Fun In The Sun' beach pail, or as we call it over in the UK, a bucket. Good lord. You will need: 1x child-sized water wing inflatable armband, 1x sunscreen or lotion, 1x small bucket.