How to Grow You Heart by Giving it Away

There is a ‘father crisis’ in our country. It came to me again tonight as Jeff and Serenity headed to the Daddy/Daughter Dance at her school, as many other daddies and daughters popped up on my news-feed and as a friend from church posted that her husband had already run by the venue for her daughter’s first dance, twice. I’ll say it again: There is a ‘father crisis’ in our country. That crisis is the root of many other social issues; a subtle, undercurrent in the lives of so many kids who are just looking for acceptance, assurance, unconditional love and hope. I see it every single day in the eyes of kids who are waiting to be adopted.

Fathers, if we are all honest, play a pivotal role in every single stage of our lives. A father can be the stable force that soothes us through the storms, comforts us in our pain, and cheers us to become all that we are meant to be. It is on his shoulders that we can see the world; the possibilities, the vision and the beauty. But on the other hand; the lack of a father, or the presence of one who is disengaged, abusive, neglectful and disinterested can be the impetus that catapults us into a world of confusion, addiction, self-loathing and despair.

(Before I go any further, I have to say that, of course there are amazing single moms who love with their whole hearts and who are working tirelessly to be everything their kids need. They are heroes and I am so grateful for them. That is another subject all together.)

I have been blessed in my life to have a father who believes in me, encourages me, protects me and cheers me on to reach impossible dreams. I also have a husband who is a fierce protector, advocate, encourager, and anchor to his six children, daughter-in-law, and grandson. My father-in-law is a quiet patriarchal force who can sense and see needs even before we do; there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for ‘his people’. I have two brothers who stand with integrity and loyalty, pointing their children (all 10 of them!) with unconditional love to be all they can be. Are the men in my life perfect? Uh…no, but they are the rock that our family is built upon and without them, we wouldn’t be half the people we are.

These are the type of men I long for waiting kids to see, and feel, and experience, and own. Our waiting kids deserve to have fathers who won’t abandon, abuse, ignore, and disappear. They deserve to be embraced by a father who points them to The Father with forgiveness, grace, mercy, joy, love, humor and commitment. Do you know a man like this? Are YOU a man like this? You can make an eternal difference in the life of a child. I promise, you won’t regret it. #fathersmatter#shootinforzero#nomorewaiting