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April 14, 2014

What To Do Next?

You know, I am really starting to get to a place where I'm wondering how many photographs I have left in me. I almost feel like a boxer, having been punched and gone into the ring so many times I'm left with permanent brain injury. Only in my case, it's more like my creative circuits just feel fried and frayed.

I've been doing this for a long time. Decades in fact. I've snapped the shutter on various cameras over what must be millions of frames by now. The closet in my apartment is overflowing with negatives, old hard drives filled with digital files, and rolls of film that have yet to even be developed. Thanks to photography I've had the opportunity to meet some of my closest friends and have had experiences most people would feel lucky to partake in. It's been the source of some drama in my life, and headaches, and most importantly love.

At different stages it has also meant different things. Sometimes it was my escape, my reason and excuse to get away from regular life. Sometimes it has been a source of independence, that one activity I could truly call "mine". There were times it was about sharing an experience with someone, being a teacher or a student or even working in collaboration. It was a tool to get to know someone better. What it has never been is just simply making pictures.

At this stage in my life I don't know what it means or what it does for me. That right there is part of my frustration. I'm feeling a little bit lost in purpose.

In a lot of ways I'm currently on auto-pilot. Just simply taking a break from photography doesn't seem like an option in my brain. I don't have many other hobbies. I don't geek out about TV shows all that much. I don't collect anything (besides cameras). Traveling could be a hobby if it wasn't for the fact that I have a day job that makes it difficult to get away often.

So maybe the better question is how do I break out of this mode I am in?

Please nobody read this post and freak out and beg me not to quit photography. I'm not going to do that. I'm just asking questions of myself is all and it can't be denied that is a healthy thing to do from time to time. Camera: Sony A7Location: Vancouver, BC

2 comments:

I have a challenge for you that might benefit me, too. I'm in a dry spell with painting. If it strikes you to be very messy one day, we should get together in a studio (or something), and try to paint. And per usual...let's see what happens as a result!