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May 1, 2016

Forgive And Be Forgiven

I have not always been one to have an easy time with forgiving others. As a matter of fact, I used to be quite the opposite. I held grudges, I sometimes would try to think of ways to get even with them, and I quit talking to people who hurt me or made me mad. It was as simple as that. I am pretty sure that after being hurt, rejected, abused, and disappointed time and time again, made me a very unforgiving person.

Even after being saved I still struggled with it. I would pray about it, and still feel so much anger and bitterness towards certain people from my past. I thought I was doing something wrong, like not praying right, or maybe God just didn't hear me. I thought it should come quickly. Just. Like. That. I thought God should just magically give me peaceful feelings towards these people. What I didn't realize was that I had to truly want to forgive them in my heart. I was reading Psalms 103 one day, and it became so clear what I was doing wrong!

The grace of God could not have been more beautifully described. It came to me, that I am a sinner and I cause Him pain, yet He responds to me so entirely unlike how I was inclined to respond to those who hurt me. I felt justified in treating them badly, or holding grudges against them. They deserved it! I thought. I then realized that I too deserve God's wrath, but He gives me compassion and abundant love instead. He treats me the very opposite way of how I deserve to be treated. He forgave me of all my sins, but I was holding on to this sin of not forgiving others.

Forgiveness was not immediate. It was a process. It took a lot of strength and prayer. When I didn't have the will to want to forgive, I knew that God would give me the will through prayer. I asked God to give me eyes to see these people as He sees them, and to remind me that He made them in His image.

I am so glad that I have learned how to forgive! I am no longer walking around plotting on how I can get back at those who have hurt me, or obsessing about what I would say to them if given a chance to give them a piece of my mind. I am so glad that I found forgiveness through Jesus Christ, the One who paid it all, so that we could be forgiven! I have heard it said that those who choose to forgive are making a choice to be filled with joy! I am making the choice to FORGIVE!

4 comments:

It was freeing to me that forgiveness was more than a feeling but more a decision that I may have to make again and again, I'm still working on it tho. It does help to remember how God forgives me and how often!

Yes, when old feelings start to creep in, I just turn to God, and remind myself of His forgiveness to me. How can we not be willing to forgive, when He so graciously offers us His loving grace? It is definitely a struggle, but gets easier! :)