Monday, July 15, 2013

well, as a SPM candidate, I can't spend much time in front of the laptop anymore..

I need to focus on my study too..

and my TRIAL is just around the corner..

it is, another 2 weeks..

but, still.. I managed to write something this time.. ^^

here, a story I adapted from a Comedy-Romance awesome Movie,

titled My Friend is still Alive..

Jo Kyung Sook

Choi Chi Hyun

Including this year, it has been 5 years I spend my precious teenager time in this huge and crowded hospital. I will never do something without any benefit, that is I abandoned my time to hang around with my fellow friends only to accompany a little weak body here which belongs to a handsome and thin guy named Jo Kyungsook.

He is my best friend, since we are in lower grade school. Unfortunately, he is being confirmed to has a leukimia and cannot survive without being treated in the hospital daily. In other words, he has to quit his school and spend his whole life in this creepy hospital with all the scary nurses. I feel sorry towards him that I cannot quit my school too but I promised to myself that I will take care of him well until he recovered in the whole evening once I finished my school session. Usually, I often plays video games with him using our own lappy and sometimes we watch various genre of movies when we are already sick with the games.

There is once before where I did brought him to visit the new garden located nearby the hospital to thrill him sometimes, but it seems like his body cannot accept to go anyway off the hospital where he suddenly fainted in the garden with his mouth full of blood after coughing hardly. Then, we have no choice but to hang around in this bored hospital and area around it only.

Everything about our precious friendship starts to be tested from the breezy evening when suddenly Kyungsook ask me somethings so uncommon out of the blue. “Chihyun, have you ever fall in love?” Kyungsook ask me while eating the strawberry pudding I brought for him. “No. Why?” I replied shortly. Never crossed in my mind to be in love, because he is my life now. “I want to be in love, at least once before I die.” Kyungsook stop eating the pudding and staring at me. I ask him back, “Why you suddenly mentioned about this?” He just stay quiet then lean his back against his chair. After that, he takes a deep sigh and walks towards me. “Help me to be in love with the girl I admire,” he said it while holding my hands tightly. At first, I want to burst out into laughing because I thought that he was just joking but his blue teary eyes does not seem so. So, I decided to just help him by asking, “where can I find her?”. Kyungsook smiles from ear to ear and jumps joyously, “you will find her if you come to my class. Her name is Lee Soon Kyu, and her height is 157cm.” He explains his ‘admire’ girl to me excitingly. I jot it down in my tablet’s note, so that I would not forget how she looks like. “Alright. Tomorrow I will start to find her, okay?” I smiled to him, hoping that he understands that I am too tired to begin looking for her today. He just nods and smiles back at me sweetly. It is already 10 pm, he needs to go to sleep now. I help him to get onto his bed, and cover up half of his body with a soft and breezy blanket. It is already my habits to wait until he falls into a deep sleep first, then I will make my move. Before I excuse myself, he grabs my hand and whispers with a very soft voice to me although his eyes is already closed, “please, Chihyun. This is my last wish before I die.” My tears rolling down my cheeks. I caressed his hair while whispering to his ear, “No, Kyungsook. You’re not going to die. I promise.” He only has me, and I must always be there for him. That is what I had promised to his mom and dad. So, this is a must task for me. “pardon me, do you know any girl name Lee Soon Kyu?” I ask a group of tall girls that passing by me in front of 4 Elite, Kyungsook’s class. I have to start searching for her, or Kyungsook might be sulking if he finds out that I cannot find his first love. One of the girl stares at me suspiciously. “why are you looking for this girl?,” she asked me. Although I feel annoyed to answer, but I still replied her by saying, “I have an urgent appointment with her.” All the girls nodded when they heard my answer. Suddenly, one of them grab my hand and drag me to somewhere. It is the rooftop. She let go of my hand, and takes a deep sigh before facinge. “I am Soon Kyu. Why are you looking for me?,” she speaks. I am quite shocked at that time, realising that I have found her, my friend’s first love. But, in order to avoid from getting tricked, I command her, “Show me your identification card.” She glares at me, “Why? You think I am a liar? Here, if you insist,” she takes out her card and gives it to me. I take it, and feeling satisfied because she is not lying. She is, kind of cute. No, no! I need to focus. “follow me,” this time, it is my turn to grab her hands without allowing her to agree or not beforehand and drag her to follow me. Although her hands are in my hands, but she cannot stop asking me who am I, what is going on, where am I going to take her to, and else but I just act like a deaf. It is tiring to handle a girl, just like I thought. Once we arrived at the front of Kyungsook’s room, he immediately got up and get off from his bed. I guess he is surprised, witnessing that I am able to fulfill his request in just a day. I let go of her hands, and standing beside Kyungsook. “hey, I found her,” I whisper to his ear. He stood dumbfounded, trying to believe or not with what he see right now. The girl just look at both of us with full of curiosity. The room is now so silent. “Anyone here minds to tell me what is going on?,” finally her words cracked the tension mood in the room. Kyungsook and I stare at each other. His blue eyes clearly saying that he wants me to be the one who will explain it to her. I sighed, and just walk towards her. “My friend here named Jo Kyungsook. You, me, and he is in the same age. He really admires you since long time ago. He likes you. Do you accept his pure and naive heart for you?” I proposed her on Kyungsook’s behalf. She looks like she is really surprised with my proposal, until her cheeks turn totally red and pink. But then, she nodded shyly which cause Kyungsook and I becomes so delighted and hug each other tightly. Finally, his wish is fulfilled. Nobody else is as happy as I am right now, although it is not me who succeeds in my love. The day onwards, Kyungsook’s life is not as bored as before. He already has someone to keep him company whenever he feels like he wants to play. It is a relief to see his pleasant face, enjoying his remain life as a teenager boy in this world with someone he wants to be with. I do not have any reason to take care of him in the hospital now since he already has her. He does not need me anymore. So, I just go to school as usual everyday and even attend the extra classes which I cannot attend before because I need to accompany him in the old hospital every evening and night. Although it seems like it is a lucky that now I am able to enjoy my life like other ordinary students now, but deep in my heart I really miss Kyungsook a lot. I did call him sometimes, but it is not that effective to heal my miss towards him. It has been a week. What Kyungsook is doing now? Is he currently enjoying his date? Is he just fine? With full of curiosity, I dialed his phone number. “Hello?” Kyungsook’s voice heard from there. It is a bit husky but I am really delighted only by hearing his voice. “Hi, Kyungsook! It is me. Ah, you have no idea how much I miss to hear your voice. It has been such a long of time. How are you?,” I ask him excitedly. Seriously, a week is a very long time for me. “Is this Chihyun? I am sorry, but I am a bit busy right now. Call me later,” he hanged up. I stood disbelieved with his action. He hang up? Because of what? Did I really disturb him? And what kind of busy he meant here? He is a leukimia patient, so what kind of work that caused him to be extremely busy till he do not have time to talk to me? I become unsatisfied because numerous questions popped out in my mind one by one, so I decided to call him again. I am a little bit surprised because this time, it is a girl’s voice. “Hello?,” she asked me. I think, I did heard this kind of voice before. Wait, I think I know who is she. “Is this Soon Kyu? What are you doing there?,” I asked her back. She chuckled softly, “Ah, Choi Chihyun. Are you looking for Kyungsook? I am sorry but he refused to accept any calls. He said nobody can interfere his privacy,” said her. I believed my ears have become totally red right now. “Including me? His own best friend!?,” asked me. She only able to answer, “Yes, including you. Once again, I am sorry.” she hanged up. I gripped my phone roughly. I am sure my blood pressure is rising rapidly right now. I cannot believe he will did this to me after all I have done to him. Fine, go ahead with your girlfriend. I do not want to interfere your love line. Do as you wish, I will never care about you anymore after this. After two weeks I did not meet him face to face, I decided to drop by for awhile at the hospital after the school session. It is not that I miss him, it is just that I am worried about his condition. And also I want to remind him about our upcoming graduation day. I did not call him beforehand because I hate to hear the girl’s voice. She will only made me mad, and might caused me to abort my visit . Instead, it is me who get more surprised once I reached there. Trust me, it is a really big, and huge surprise. “Kyungsook, get up! Please, don’t leave me,” Soon Kyu screams heartlessly with tears heavily rolling down her cheeks. There is a body laying there, unconciously. And, it is.. Jo Kyungsook. “Soon Kyu, what is happening?,” I ask her anxiously. She only able to shake her head, while continuously crying. “Soon Kyu, tell me! What is wrong with him!?,” yelled me. I am really worried a lot seeing Kyungsook’s condition at that time. His face is so pale, his hand trembles a lot. And the worst is, his hair is now bare. Totally bare! It reminds me to what the doctor told me before, that his life will meet an end once all his hair fall. I cannot hold anything in any longer, I cry hardly once realising the real situation. Now I regret that I did not take care of him all the time before just because I thought that he is already fine. I hug him tightly, cannot believe the fact that my only friend since lower grade school is laying unconciously in front of me now with those weak face and body. As I am crying, suddenly I feel there is a cold-warm hand caressed my cheeks. It is Kyungsook.“why are you crying, Chihyun?,” he ask me innocently while wiping my tears, as if nothing happen. His blue eyes strongly showing that he is holding in his pain now but pretend to smile happily in front of me so that I would not be worried. I am sorry Kyungsook, but I know you well more than you do. “don’t you remember what you had promised to me before, Kyungsook?,” I ask him while holding one of his hand. He stays silent for awhile and staring at me, trying to remember maybe. “no, I don’t. Which one?,” asked him back. I smiled and this time I grab his another hand. “you promise that you will be recovered someday, and you will live longer than me. Do you still remember about it?,” I ask him while holding both his hands tightly in my hands. It terrifies me a lot when he answered, “I only promise to live longer, but not in this World.” His words really tugged at my heartstrings, and caused my tears to roll down my cheeks again. Then, Kyungsook move his eyes to her, Soon Kyu. He smiled weakly to her. “Please fulfill my last wish, Soon Kyu. I am relying on you,” he said. And that is his last words before he takes he last breath. His body lies on mine, which caused a big surprised to me because he is not breathing anymore. That is when I realised that he is no longer here. It has been only a week, but it felt as if Kyungsook had left me for a year already. His leaving, really impact me a lot. I have no desire to eat, sleep, and of course, meeting people. I did went out sometimes to relax myself. Unfortunately, it became worse. All the people I met looks exactly like Kyungsook, until there is once in the park I hugged an old man just because I mislooked him as Kyungsook from behind. So, I decided to just stay in my house although there is almost nothing can calm me down and stop me from remembering Kyungsook. But, I have no choice. Kyungsook’s innocent image just would not want to disappear from my sight. Out of the blue, someone rings the bell. I peek through the windows. It is Lee Soon Kyu. Ah, why is she here? I hurriedly opens the door for her, inviting her to get inside. “Come in,” I welcomed her. “Never mind, I am only here for awhile,” she declined politely. Then, I noticed that she is holding a brand and shiny set of formal clothes. Black suit of blazzer, striping necktie, and a box of leather shoes. It is weird, because the clothes is big in size. So, it cannot be that the clothes is belongs to her, right? “Whose clothes is this?,” I ask her. She just smiled and answered, “This is yours.” She hands over that set of formal clothers to me. I am startled when I heard her answer, and just received it. Me? When did I ever had that kind of clothes? I never went to any boutique before to buy such clothes. “My task is done. Thank you for giving me your cooperation. Till we meet again,” she excuse herself and make her move. Although I want to ask her more, but I just forget about it when I realised that she is in a rush. So, I just send her off until the door, and thanks her before she left. I get inside, and grab each by each pieces of the clothes. I analyse them thoroughly, and question by question appears in my mind. I even try to wear it, and guess what? The size is totally accurate! It is not too big, and also not too small. This is really amazing. How did she know my body size? Suddenly, when I put in my hands in the pocket, I feel like there is something in it. It is a letter, written beautifully with my name on top of it. Then, I realised, that this handwriting is belongs to someone who is really close to me. Someone that always appear in my dream whenever I am sleeping. It is, Jo Kyungsook.

Dear my beloved friend, Choi Chihyun.Maybe when you’re reading this, I am no longer in this World. Actually, I have been wanting to write something to you all this time but it seems like you’re too busy with your school daily life. Never mind, it’s your right to have an ordinary life like other fellow students do. I can’t take that rights from you. My real intention of writing this is to clear out all of the misunderstanding. Firstly, the reason for I’m asking from you before to find me a love. I did that in order for me to have someone else that can take care of me, although I totally missing you almost all the time when you’re not around. Actually, she is not my love. I only ask her to pretend like she is really going out with me so that you won’t be worried about me. Truthfully, I only know her before just because she sit next to me in the class, and she is kinda cute too. I did claimed to you that she is my love, but only now I figure it out that she is not. My true love is someone else. He is a boy, really closed to me, and he is my truly friend, named Choi Chihyun. Yes, it is you. My forever love that always stay by my side whenever I need him. But, I only realised it when you’re already far away from me. Several days ago, I refused to speak to you on the phones not because I was enjoying my fake date. Actually, I was coughing so hard at that time until blood kept on flowing out of my mouth. And my voice also turns totally husky and creepy. I was afraid that you might came over immediately only to ensure that I was fine, that’s why I asked Soon Kyu to lie by saying that I’m totally busy. I cannot forgive myself if you skip your precious classes only for me. I hope you will this friend of yours for my rudeness at that time.I keep on thinking, do I have the right to ask you to take care of me again? Or maybe at least stay with me only during the night until I fall asleep? But, I know if I ask for that, it will be too much of me. Nevermind, I also understand to which extend I can ask from you. I promise, I will never caused your trouble anymore in the future. Why I said so? Because I had found someone else that can take care of me while you’re focusing for your future. I really do not want you to left me just because I am a big burden to you, that’s why I decided to draw a line between us so that you won’t be hated taking care of me everyday.Before I end my words, I would like to let you know something. It is that, I love you. I always have been loving you all the day and night, my friend. I don’t know either you realise it or not. That’s all from me, take care.Yours truthfully,Jo Kyungsookp/s : I hope you will wear the attire that I bought it for you during your graduation. I sneaked out the hospital quietly and bought it when I visited a gigantic boutique with Soon Kyu today. She really knows well how to pick a beautiful and smart set of suit.She is a genius! I really owe her a big one this time. Make sure you wear it! I hope you will find a better friend than me in the future. It’s a promise, okay? Good luck, Choi Chihyun! All the best.

I cannot stop myself from crying continously. I hug the letter tightly once I finished reading it. He really cares for me a lot, although he himself was still feeling unwell at that time. I cannot believe that I abandoned him before only because I was being mad for a day. Who am I to him? Why was he treating me so well? I should have not think negatively at him before. That night, only the breezy wind can be heard in the midst of my tears. I promise to myself, that this time I will fulfill his will with full of my heart and soul. I will make sure that I am able to survive in my life without him, so that he will never feeling guilty ‘there’. His smile, his spirit, his encouragement, I will bring that together with me all the time in my life. He is still alive, in my heart. Jo Kyungsook, thank you for being my best friend. Jo Kyungsook, I really love our friendship. Yes, you are my love too.

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