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Saturday, June 4, 2011

Desensitised

I'm feeling ok, actually ok for once. In my mind I am lighter this week, that is, I am lighter. I won't be sure if I really am or not until monday, but for now I will keep this illusion of feeling lighter. I have made real progress this last week. I can now chuck out food without feeling bad! I have in a way become detached from food. I was able to with stand eating anything on friday afternoon at our mini party for celebrating the end of prac. There was mostly junk food so I just didn't eat. There were carrot sticks but I knew that if I ate one thing then it would have started a snowball effect of eating.

I pretty much don't eat any full serves of food anymore which is great! I almost always leave something behind. I think it's almost time to try the ultimate test of my ability to contain myself around food; bring out the pasta. When I'm fully ready I will do this pasta test because it is the only sure way to know how far I have come. Today I made pumpkin scones and I'm so proud of myself because I only ate 2 mini ones and I didn't even want more. I am slowly making changes which are bringing me forward and out of the fatness.

It's almost like I am living in a haze, it's probably because I'm so tired.

I have completed prac and now have to face exams. Fact of life. I will get on with it because then I can get on with concentrating on my weight loss when exams have finished.

I know I can do this. I can do it all; Great weight loss and great exam results.

If it's not too cold or raining I might go on a small bike ride tomorrow, just to get my brain working.