Putting my feelings to paper, ‘emotional writing’ is meant to help ‘deal’ with feelings, therapeutic and allow a person to relax and reflect. I would be lying if I said I felt ANY of the above, in fact it has taken me months to do this, even thinking about sitting and trawling through my emotions made me feel sick!

Someone so close, no longer a part of your daily life and routine, all change just like that in a blink! Life can be so cruel, that is how I felt. I have sat many a times and remembered all the good times I have had with my Dad, looked over and over at pictures of all the memories we made together and cried.

Over the last few months through the array of emotions I have had to deal with, which might I add have not gone away or changed and I don’t think ever will, it has become a normal part of my new life, the ‘new normal’ as they call. Irrespective of all the difficult and down days I always try and take something positive away with me, it is what Dad would have wanted me to do – he was always so proud of the strong women I was.

All the memories, all the pictures gave me the strength to carry on living, it gave me the push to make more memories with my family, appreciate and live everyday more than the last, love your loved ones more than the last and that is what I am doing.

Dad’s memories live within me, the pain will always be. I believe he is with me every day, watching over us all, so I smile for him every day…..