On the Road home

January 27, 2008

I’ve really wanted to start recording my thoughts so far paper hasn’t worked for me i’m hoping an online presence will do the trick. I choose my words with care because I know they have the power to create. My secret wish is for my words to connect with those reading it and for them to really sink in with whatever intensity I am writting in. I felt the need to write as I’ve begun to realize time fly’s by with the blink of an eye, most times without a second thought. I almost don’t want to ask myself what I did 3 days ago incase I’ve already forgotten. What a terrible thing it would feel to know that I failed to record the set of events in my life. Who’s watching anyway? Truely I am. The difference i’ve found between people is some are consciously living their lives while others are living in default reaction mode. One key I have learned is that there is so much going on it the world, so many worldly routines and mazes to keep ones mind distracted that we loose track of time in adjacant with our own pure thought. Normally reacting to the lives of others rather then creating those of our own will. If everyone just slowed down enough and lived for the moment there is a wonderfull flow the starts to happen. You’ll start to notice strange things popping up all around you as if a coincidence, I don’t believe in coincidences everything happens for a reason and is all perfect in it’s imperfection.

For instance today I was driving home and a friend texted me to fly by. I pulled off to the side of the road as I’d just passed her house coming from another one of my friends. It’s 12:00pm I began to think about my ex or whatever you call those relationships after the loss. I then realized these are all routines that I have repeated taken the road of and this is just residuel’s from past thoughts and actions. I thought for a moment about how I know where these road’s lead, I know what it’s all about, “HEY let’s try something else?”. And at that exact moment of thought the background music became foreground music and the song that was playing sunk in. “It’s getting late, dark outside, I need to be with myself and Center, Clarity, Peace, Serenity” I thought it was so perfect. Really it’s 12:00pm what else was I looking for out in the dark. I don’t need a friend to keep me company in the dark. I have more friends then I can keep up with. But it’s incredible the intricacy of routines until one become conscious of all the levels it will arises from. Happiness is an inside job and I realize that I won’t find it looking outside of myself. This is a daily lesson for myself that I am constantly reminding myself and to live in the moment. All that ever was or is was created in this moment of consciousness and I choose this moment to be as happy as I can possibly make it.