My wife and I were getting ready to make a trip to Tunica, and I was doing some last-minute brushing up using CV BJ to make sure I had not gotten rusty on the playing indices I use. I was merrily sitting in my recliner playing like mad when my son stopped by with his newest "girlfriend". We talked a bit but I continued to play as this makes the practice even more realistic. She asked what I was doing and before I could answer my son pipped in with "he is counting cards, practicing for a trip we are making to Tunica next weekend..."

She responded "cool... I do that also (she was from Mississippi and apparently played a lot at the Golden Moon/Silver Star casinos close to where she lived.)" She went on to explain that her grandfather had gotten her into counting cards when he told her "if you count cards, you can beat the casino playing blackjack..." At this point, we broke out a real deck and some real chips and we started playing on the kitchen table. After about 5 minutes I realized something was wrong in that her bets were jumping around all over and appeared to have nothing to do with the hi-lo count I use myself. I finally asked her "what counting system do you use, your bets are not matching up well against my system?" She looked at me quizically and said "I don't understand what you mean?" So I took the plunge and said, "OK, in my system, 2-3-4-5-6 are +1, 7,8,9 are zero, and 10-A are -1..." She looked even more puzzled and so I asked, "OK, tell me what you are doing..." She said "OK, when you deal the first card, that is 1, when you deal the second card, that is 2, ..."

I thought "aww.. sh*t"...

Sure enough, she thought her grandfather's "count the cards" meant exactly that. She was just counting the cards as they were dealt...

And yes, for the record, she was blonde...

And for the record also, she lost badly when playing with us, had no idea about basic strategy or anything..

I was simply caught "flat-footed". I couldn't say "you dumba**, that does nothing" since she was with my son at the time. I couldn't really think of anything to say so I just changed the subject...

It was just one of those "this can't be real" moments... :)

To continue the saga however, I told her this joke:

Guy was in the hospital, had some sort of intestinal problem and the medication kept him running to the bathroom, but always a "false alarm." Finally he said "enough" and the next time he had the "urge" he stayed in bed, and this time it wasn't a false alarm. Messed up the sheets, etc. He was embarassed and decided to roll up and throw the sheets out his window...

where they promptly fell onto a drunk sleeping on a bench several floors down. The drunk awoke, jumped up screaming, thrashing around, and finally got the sheets off of him. Two security guys walked up laughing and asked "what in hell are you doing?" He looked around, sniffed his arms and hands, then said "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost..."

Her response was "I don't get it... what does a ghost have to do with the story???"