I was trying to make the point that when it comes to posting music videos, if you're still new to the MS board (or returning after a long absence), it's probably best to post them sparingly. It was a question of quantity--especially since the frequent posting of music videos had been an issue only recently (February) on the MS board, when another new/returning member was perhaps trying too hard to lighten up the place with music videos.

My feeling is that most of the regular members on the MS board don't have a problem with anyone posting music videos. A couple have problems getting them to work on uncooperative computers but I believe most people are glad that members have a chance to share music with others. nuthatch has very thoughtfully set up a special thread for that purpose.

I was just trying to point out that, particularly if you're not already known on the board, a little goes a long way, and why not proceed with caution? And if you've been posting in a hostile tone often, maybe you ought to be even more careful...

As you say, we can't tell other people how to post, and that's good. I believe that when I asked someone to post some introductory information, I made it clear that that was entirely optional.

About GTFO: Well, you wanted to get your readers' attention, and it was an important warning you were issuing ("be respectful or gtfo"). But I think SuzE-Q has made some important points.

The following 2 users say "thanks"

What Is Respect?

((((((Mike)))))) ~

It’s fair to say that the MS forum is the most active forum on BT. The second most active forum would likely be “the flatfish forum,” where no discussion occurs, but posts are made on a routine basis. Far behind in third, I’m guessing, is Child Neurology, which is down to a skeleton crew now.

The kerfuffle, which started all of this, occurred on the MS forum. A new member joined the MS forum, where long-term, well established MS members post daily, and began what I felt was an insult campaign against them. If we are all being asked to “show respect or GTFO,” then that rule applies to newcomers as well as old timers.

RESPECT:

Is it showing respect to interrupt a long-standing thread discussing a horrible side effect to an MS drug with irrelevant videos and cryptic banter?

Is it showing respect to call a long-standing tradition of the Chit Chat thread a “gross misnomer,” then refer with innuendo to mind games, clubs, and mobs?

Is it showing respect to mock the “Thanks” button?

Is it showing respect to tell the MS Forum Members: “This place is beyond hope”?

Is it showing respect to diagnose existing MS Forum members as “projecting,” and being humorless from the new member's perch at the top?

I’m not an MS Forum member per se, maybe a “guest member,” but I follow their journeys and read their posts. I pray for them. I admire every single MS Forum member, for their undaunting courage, their concern for each other, their knowledge and experience, and their humor. And I was offended on their behalf by the comments being made about and to them by the new member.

GETTING TO KNOW NEW MEMBERS:

It’s only natural to want to learn more about a new member, so we can get to know them. I usually invite new members to share more with us, and tell them I look forward to getting to know them. We’re not invading their privacy. We are reaching out our hands in friendship and welcoming them to our home. It’s the way people make friends.

I’ve also belonged to several other forums in my cyber life, where new members joined, posing as having the same condition as that being discussed on the forum. It’s happened on BT as well. So, there is some desire for affirmation, that a new member is genuine and sincere, on the part of existing members. I think that’s reasonable and understandable.

To join a forum and then say, I don’t want to talk about the condition under discussion in this forum, is rather contradictory. While we do have social connections here, BT is not a social network in the strictest sense. That’s why we have to label our posts “OT,” when they are “off topic.”

THE SPIRIT OF BT AND IGNORING MEMBERS:

We’ve lost Gary to this situation, who is going through a really rough patch and needs his support network here on the MS Forum. Is that the “spirit” of BT? To allow a new member to be disrespectful to the existing members, such that it drives existing members away?

And the solution to all of this is the Ignore Feature?

If we all choose to ignore a new member, then how are we nourishing the BT environment? How are we helping or bonding with the new member? How are we showing respect?

We all have gratitude and respect for you, Dan and David for providing us with BT and for your efforts in keeping us viable. It may be our home, but you are the landlords.

If a stranger entered my home, whether I am renting or the owner, and began denigrating me, my decorating, my furniture, my art work, my cooking, etc., that stranger would be shown the door. I wouldn’t move out, so that the stranger could move in and rearrange everything to her/his satisfaction.

What constitutes respect? Is it earned, or can it be demanded?

Perhaps we should discuss that, so that we all have a better understanding of the rule “show respect or GTFO.”

Love & Light,

Rose

Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful dad.

Rose, you've done something I was too lazy to do but strongly felt should be done: selecting some examples of the troublesome posts.

Since the admins and the mods don't seem to read through every thread here at BT, they may pay attention mainly to those posts that are called to their attention.

All well and good, but it doesn't give the whole picture. The person in question here has been clever enough to slip under the radar in his/her posts but if you look at where those posts are and how often they occur, you get a better idea of why many at the MS board have been feeling harassed.

Yes, we pretty much have to deal with it until we can either come to terms with this person or persuade him/her to leave. Banning is extreme and creates hard feelings and hostility that can linger on for years.

From reviewing the TOS I have the impression that the whole practice of banning may have been abandoned?

I think we at the BT message board have learned not to allow ourselves to be scared off permanently by the occasional troublesome newcomer. We've learned to carry on--and that ignoring such a person is often the fastest way to discourage more disruptive posts.

It's possible that we've been visited by someone who drinks too much and dropped by to vent some hostility. There's no way of knowing unless that person reveals more. In the meantime we can wonder if that person is really someone already known to us. I hope it isn't but if it is, we'll cross that bridge.

The following 3 users say "thanks"

Sorry Rose I'm only going to comment on one point for now. I had a long day at work and need to get to bed early for a very early morning. I'm going to try to clean up a couple of threads in the MS forum by moving and deleting posts.

And the solution to all of this is the Ignore Feature?

Short answer ... yup. If you see someone posting things you don't agree with, or don't think fit the forums, report it. If as was determined in this case that the posts didn't violate the TOS (a couple did and were addressed) then it's up to the members who don't like the posts to ignore the user. Therefore eliminating them from seeing the posts. Unfortunately that isn't an available option for guests. So we (admins/mods) have to find a way to balance the freedom we want all of you to have to post pretty much anything that you want, with the spirit/main point of BT.

I can't comment on the Gary situation other than to say I am truly sorry to see him go.

Answer: You are in the "registered users" user group. This group is very limited in what it can do. This will annoy spammers to no end Just keep posting once you have been registered for 30 days and have made 11 posts your account will be "unlocked".

It's really easy to put someone on ignore and it's strongly recommended that you do so with people who's posts you don't like.

Step 1 - log in
Step 2 - click on the "settings" link
Step 3 - click on the "edit ignore list" link on the left side of the screen
Step 4 - type (or paste if you copied and pasted it) the username of the person you want to ignore
Step 5 - click the "ok" button on the right of the screen

Easy peasy and will lower your blood pressure. One important note though, this won't hide quoted posts. It's an oversight on the developers part and it's not an easy thing to "fix." So if someone quotes someone you have ignored, you'll see the quote.

Alternatively when you click on a person's name and view their profile page, underneath their avatar, there is a option that says, "Ignore this person". Click that link and then click the yes button.

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