Level 21 Hacker

I have ample evidence that ET is a weedy little twerp.

As you know, today we are hosting a presidential election.

I am happy to present the two candidates and their official campaign promises. You are allowed to vote for one candidate using the poll feature at the top. Tomorrow, when the Election is over (hopefully! let’s not repeat the 2000 Florida incident!) the winner will be chosen and will be forced to stick to their promises.

Level 1 Re-Re

Cowardly.

Did you know that black people have slightly longer male reproductive organes on average than white people? Look it up on Wikipedia and be amazed. We’re talking an extra 1/4” on average. My speech writer said it’s inappropriate to talk about my male reproductive organ in a campaign speech: but then I showed him my extra 1/4” and he ran away crying.

Another thing to consider is that black people don’t get sunburned. That means no skin cancer. Did you know my opponent had skin cancer once? He did. When it comes back to kill him (and it necessarily will), he will be leaving a seal clubbing hockey mom to run the white house. She’s hot enough for my extra quarter incher, but not to run this country.

But enough rhetoric, here are my official campaign promises:

If I win:

– Every active user on Forumwarz will receive a bonus of 4 Forum Visits.

– Since I am a socialist, I will tax the richest active Forumwarz accounts by 25% and spread it amongst the poorest active accounts.

– Jobs will give double the points for the 24 hours following my win.

Bonus 1: If I also win the US Election:

– I will give out free access to Episode 2 to 10 random accounts who voted for me.

Level 1 Re-Re

Bushlike.

It’s true: Obama is black. There’s nothing wrong with being black. I don’t hate black people, I just love being white ever so much!

Did you know white is the color of angels? White is the color of a beautiful snowfall on Christmas day. My beautiful wife’s veil was white on our wedding day, and our sheets were white that evening (until I took her sweet virginity away from her.)

Also white is the color of the delicious and sweet sugar I put in my coffee every morning. I then add milk to make it less black, because black is bitter and unpalatable.

White also rhymes with right. And might. And bright.

But enough about my superior pigmentation, here are my promises:

If I win:

– Every active account will receive a special new item.

– Since I am a capitalist, I will tax the poorest active accounts by 25% and spread it amongst the wealthy active accounts.

– I will randomly scatter 100BP over the accounts of those who voted for me.

If I also win the US Election:

– Evil Trout will record a karaoke version of the song of your choosing and will post it on Flamebate to mock endlessly.

If I also receive more friend requests than Obama:

– Custom titles changes will be free for a special pre-announced 30 minute timeframe.

I have ample evidence that ET is a weedy little twerp.

Level 26 Troll

“Gaping Asshole”

Whoever wins,the country fails. It fills me with sadness to know that the president will always be someone whose ideals are decided by the majority of the voters of a political party rather than his own personal convictions. HA HA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK male reproductive organS

In a sad way Raepdog misses you... Oh gay friend.. oh I love the gays..

Level 36 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

Being a plumber of the middle clbum, I am insulted that Obama would be taxing me. His whole socialist ideals are planning on taking my money and redistributing it to the poor. I work hard for that money (so hard for it honey), so you better treat me right.