Friday, March 15, 2013

A Bad Day at Skull Mansion

This is what a bad day looks like for me:

First of all, Daylight Savings Time. I actually really like daylight savings time because it doesn't get dark in the middle of the day, but DAMN if it hasn't been harder than heck to wake up at what feels like 5:20 all week. And then trying to get my kid out of bed when he thinks I'm playing some kind of middle of the night practical joke on him.

I'm guessing a pigeon had a bad time in my neighbor's driveway.
I had been trying for more than a week to get someone from my insurance company to help me figure out how to get insurance on a Hot Butter booth at a festival, and finally they're like "Here! Fill out this crazy form that has questions you don't know the answer to!" And I'm like, "Hell, no! I'm not sure what kind (if any) of pyrotechnics will be at this festival. Are the security guards armed? HELP!"

Then I'm putting my face on for my out of the house job, and I hear a most disgusting sound. This is going to be a little too much information, but it was totally a wet farting poopy sound. So I look down and see MONTY PYTHON POOPING, which I can only assume you all remember as the most horrible thing a person can see. Snake pooping cannot be unseen!

Then I worked really hard all day. Tuesday is my work Friday because I only work Sunday through Tuesday (makes sense, right?!), so I decide to take a luxurious and semi expensive herbal bath to relax my tired old lady muscles. The water is hot and almost to the top of the drainy hole thing when a disgusting blast of gray water comes shooting out the faucet. WTF? No thanks. That ruined the whole vibe of my bath. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I soaked anyway because I wasn't wasting all the herb juice in the tub. Hopefully I wasn't absorbing ancient pipe evil that whole time.

Then I posted about my unfortunate mishaps on Facebook and went to bed. I was cocooned in blankets and finally feeling safe from the world, when I leaned over to grab my phone charger and smacked my forehead on the corner of the bedside table. Seriously, universe? You won that round!

This is from a completely different day, but my oven won't turn on and I have a triple layer chocolate birthday cake to bake for Felix's birthday tomorrow. To the toaster oven! I'm going to have to bake each layer separately, which means I'll probably have eaten the contents of the third pan by the time the first is finished. Life marches on!

These paws make me feel better. Pause your day to look at the paws. Paaaaaaw!