i’m all smiles. (afterthoughts…)

(truth. creative commons.)

in this skin that’s wrong in this skin that is chased in this skin that is followedin every store from entrance to exitin this skin that makes you cross streetsclutch pursesand hold your kidsand you avoid my eyesthat see right through youcovered in black skinthe media has sold as evilsavagechildrenthat needs lessonsteachingstaking care ofand i’m not crashingi’m not burningi’m not falling apart not in your carenot caringi am not your fire that needs your extinguisher

i am not troublei am not in trouble

that you createdthat you seem to enjoy makingbecause of this skin

in this skinthat exists without understandingthis skin that you won’t let freethis skin that refuses another leashthat makes weapons out of concretein self defense

how do i replace this skinthis skin that haunts yousomehowoppresses yousomehowangers yousomehowtorments yousomehowit’s just skinwith so much powerpowerto expose your own evils

and he leers in me / the corner of his lip turning / in disgust / darkness / in the corner of his eyes / showing his teeth / i’m almost unnerved / almost / my great granddad / rifle in hand / daring any white man to steal his land /indignant / intentional / defiance

i am defiance in this black skini am power

by all meansi shouldn’t be hereif we’re all who they say we areweakuncivilizedviolentuneducatedpooroh, so poori shouldn’t be here

his leer turns into lust / in his hey day / i’d be on my back / choking on black pride / his white penis fucking me into this race obedience / ought to know better / ought to know my place / i should be taught my place

oh, so pooruneducatedviolentuncivilizedweak

and i am defiancein a blazing firei will not be put outi must be put to death

and if i have to meet my deathwith white hands holding my life in between white fingersi will die trying to livebecause black men are not thugsbecause black women are not whoresbecause black children are not future criminalsbecause black babies are lovedand i will not be put outwe should all be deadand we’re notthere is power in this skin

i’ll play by the rulesuntil there are no more rules

and when you break all the rules that you makeremember

i have been troublei have been targeted i have been followed i have been made a criminal in my innocencei have been oppressed i have been overpoweredi have walked awayforced migrationexileto existon my ownin a skin that’s wrongand i have been all smilesone dayi won’t be