Jack Sparrow

Jack Sparrow

[secretary:] guys, michael bolton is here
oh great, send him in.
[MB:] hey guys.
hey, hi, thanks for coming
[MB:] sorry i’m late, i got caught up watching that pirates of the carribean marathon. have you
seen those things?
oh yeah, yeah, those are, those are great.
[MB:] well, i checked out the track and i loved it. and i wrote you this big sexy hook i think
you’re really gonna dig.
oh wow that’s great, awesome. should we just lay it down?
[MB:] boys, lets get to it.
[sussurro:] here we go.
ungh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton
yeaaahh!
the night starts now
together on the track, the boys are back
the night starts now
night starts now baby roll with us, chickens snapping at the neck when we rollin’ up.
rollin’ up
blow through the doors ain’t no holdin’ up
yeah
black card at the bar like i gives a fuck.
come on
Looking so fly when we walk into the set the fellas looking jealous play the back and get wet
yeah yeah
three pound in my waist, shank in my sock, you either get cut, get stuffed or get shot.

[MB:] this is the tale of captain jack sparrow, pirate so brave on the seven seas
-what?
[MB:]a mystical quest to the isle of tortuga, raven locks sway on the ocean’s breeze.
[Andy] yeah that was kinda weird, but we’re back in the club
buying up the bar so the groupies show us love
[MB:] Keira Knightley
motherfucking ice-man, i’m the top gunner
heater on blast, i’m the number one stunner
jack sparrow
watch it girl cause i ain’t your “mr. nice guy”,
more like the “meet ya take you home and fuck you twice guy”
yeah yeah!
all dressed up with nowhere to run,
and now i make you feel crazy with my gun?
[MB:] now back to the good part:
from the day he was born, he yearned for adventure
nooo
old captain jack giving them what for.
he’s the pauper of the surf
(yeahâ€?uh huh)
the jester of tortuga
(oh god)
but is davy jones’ locker what lies in store?
yeah, we’ve seen the movie
throw your hands in the air and say hell yeah, come on
[MB:] Captain Jack
-what?
[MB:] Johnny Depp
no
[Akiva] from the front to the back say we count stacks come on
[MB:] Davy Jones
-nope
[MB:] giant squid
-wrong
[andy] Michael Bolton we’re really gonna need you to focus up
[MB:] roger that let me try it with another film
life is a box of chocolates and my name is forrest gump
(not better)
though i’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, i give jenny all of my love
(come on!)
ok then i’m a legal aide, erin brockovich is my name
(nooo, god)
then you can call me scarface, snortin mountains of cocaine
(close enough)
you cockroaches wanna play rough? okay, i’m reloaded
this is the tale of tony montanya
cubano flame, with the miami nuts
(take it home!)
got a basehead wife, but her womb is polluted
this whole town’s a pussy, just waiting to get fucked!
ooookay, turns out michael bolton is a major cinephile
you complete me!
yup, yeah, okay