Monthly Archives: October 2013

Position Wanted: Disappointment Manager. Thought form with decades of experience as Disappointment Manager seeks position as same. Able to work long hours and be on call 24/7.

Responsibilities include scaling down dreams to reasonable levels that are probably not attainable anyway. I protect you from inevitable disappointment by guiding you through a process of hedging your bets so that it is not so devastating when you don’t get those things you want.

I will:

Guide you away from taking any action, inspired or otherwise, that will probably not work out anyway.

Negotiate with your Higher Self to lower expectations of what is probably not achievable to minimize the devastation of inevitable disappointment.

Help you squelch any tendency toward excitement.

Help you lower your standards.

Remind you to be satisfied with only what you need to get by.

Advise you against being too hopeful.

Specialty: Making vision boards fade into background noise.

Employment history:

Personal Disappointment Manager for Life Surfer

Reason for Leaving:

Laid off when position deemed unnecessary.

Contact through vibration.

Anyone who received my book, Life Surfer’s Law of Attraction Handbook, more than a week ago (before 10/20/2013) please note that I have added 3 chapters to the book:

Who is this guy?

The Cosmic “Thought That Feels Better” Escape Clause

You Are Not Alone.

You can receive an updated copy by using the link by which you originally downloaded the book. If you have any problems with this, let me know.

When I taught college writing, I used to hate the style of theme papers that started with the definition of a word. Stephan King would never, ever start a novel this way, so of course, I have to.

Contrast noun – the state of being strikingly different from something else, typically something in juxtaposition or close association.

Now of course, contrast is contrast. There are no levels, not even a sliding scale. And all contrast serves us. The fact that I can even make up something like this denotes that we have different levels of resistance to contrast. The number of “levels” is purely arbitrary and when I get done making them up, I’m going to have go back and change the number in the working title. So, without further ado…

Life’s Surfer’s Guide to Contrast Level Thingies.

Level 1 – Fundamental Contrast We came to be physically-focused to experience contrast from an existence where everything was light and love and the ecstatic version of boring. In physical existence, there is blue and there is pink, and we spend our lives choosing our preferences. Without contrast, we could not be able to distinguish between jazz and rock music, distinguish chocolate from caramel, or tell if you are having sex or hugging a tree.

Level 2 – Positive Contrast Positive contrast is where you look back in time and see how far you’ve come. I can say with certainty that when you look back a year or too and you remember how you thought about a particular topic, where you are now is a noticeable improvement. The reason I can say this you are always expanding. There is no going back or staying the same. Looking back to see how far you’ve come can be very therapeutic.

Level 3 – Thoughts that feel better Whenever you look for the thought that feels better, there is a positive contrast if indeed the thought you are thinking feels better or feels more like relief than the one you were just thinking. Likewise, if a thought feels worse, you will notice that “negative” contrast as well.

Level 4 – Negative Contrast This is a very popular contrast. This is when you notice the difference between where you are now and where you want to be. For instance, if you want a gazillion dollars, and you are reading a collection notice for your Star Trek Pez figurines, it’s not going to feel very good. This is a very good thing though. You can use this contrast to ramp up your desire by boldly going, “Fuck this shit. I’m going to have my gazillion dollars!” That declaration jumps you 3.2 levels on the emotional scale all by itself. I dare you to find a more efficient way to raise your vibes.

Level 5 – Navigational Contrast This is kinda like Level 3 contrast except it is more pronounced. You encounter this when you are just thinking or you are dreaming up something you want and you start to feel bad. You know that you have taken a wrong turn. This wrong turn can be minor, like don’t go that way. Or it can be Level 6 shit contrast, but some other day it will be the right time to deal with it. You can tell if it is better for you to put off dealing with this contrast because when you apply Level 3 contrast, it feels like relief to let it go for now.

Level 6 – Shit you gotta deal with Whenever you really decide you want something, contrast that points out the thoughts that run counter to you having what you want appear so you can deal with them. Now since you always have 9 hundred eleventy billion things you want at any given instant, this can arise pretty much at any time. The trick for dealing with shit contrast is to become okay with it so it can evolve away from you. How you do this could be the subject of an extended workshop.

Level 7 – Lifelong Contrast This is like Shit Contrast on steroids. This contrast has arisen from very early in life, maybe even from the vibrational influences in gestation. It is part of the plan you put into place to before you entered physically-focused reality. It is like your fundamental operating system. It is probably why you so desperately want to learn Law of Attraction.

I suspect that it is really just Shit Contrast that you haven’t quite become okay with, and it may remain in that state until you take your dirt nap. But even if you can’t become totally easy with it, it cannot stop you from having anything you want.

So what did I leave out? Feel free to leave a new level below. You can even create a sub-level, like level 3.2.21. Or the levels anti-contrast. Just remember mixing contrast and anti-contrast can be, well, very bad.

For those of you who read the last blog, you will not be surprised to find out that the bare bones computer I got in trade has a shit-load of blue lights in it. All computers in an MS home network have to be named. This computer is BLUEGLOW.

I’ve been subtly hinting that it would be a good idea to subscribe to my mailing list before the release of my book. (upper right). Try using Level 3 contrast to see if this might be a good idea for you. I will be working on the book today after this goes out.

BTW, how many of you got the obscure Ghostbusters reference in the last sentence of the blog?

The path of least resistance (PLR) is that theoretical straight line between you and what you want. I say theoretical, because if you actually followed it, the time delay between wanting something and getting it would be Weeping Angel fast. (Don’t Blink.) I can’t even get close. I’m more of a follow-the-path-of-some-resistance-until-contrast-pokes-me-in-the-eye kind of guy. Another name for the PLR is the path of what feels better.

When people think about the creation process they tend to think of manifesting a single experience. Like, I want a bad-ass gaming computer that glows with blue lights inside the case and sounds like a drag racer when it lights up. When I think about getting it, I think about selling 25 widgets and a do-hicky and using the profits to buy the computer. But the Universe knows the totality of what you want to experience and brings everything you want along the path of least resistance with amazing synchronicity.

If you have been following my book/blog on the Whole Banana site you know that basically our house is on the market and when it sells we are moving to the frickin desert. If you read my previous blog post on this website, you know that I removed the words easy-peasy from my website header. What you might not know is that when I did, I was finally able to write the book I’ve working on. Actually I had to start from scratch because it was no longer a book on easy-peasy.

So this is where the Serendipity and the PLR part comes in. A very handsome non-physical ghost, Paul, once said to me, “Decide you can actually have what you actually want, and the Universe rearranges itself to bring it to you.” Like I said, this story begins when I dropped the words easy-peasy. It is now Life Surfer’s Law of Attraction Handbook.

I was really flying writing my new book and I hear a pufft like a power spike and my computer shuts down. I tried to restart it and I got the Bluescreen of Death right after the Windows Screen. I can only get a glimpse of what it says, but I keep seeing just the phrase, “hardware conflict.”

No naturally I tried to restart it about 50 times. I even left it so that it would repeatedly try on its own. I told you I followed the path of some resistance, right? I was mildly panicked but also excited that I would be getting my new bad-ass gaming computer. You see, if you are vibrationally aligned with the having of something, and what you have still works so you don’t take inspired action, well sometimes shit has to break.

Finally I gave up and finished the book on my Lappie.

So now the book is done, and I’m thinking I can’t wait to get it out because it is the best thing I’ve ever written. But half of it is on a dead computer and the other half is on a thumb drive. I called some friends and found a guy willing to let me hook my dead drive and external drive to his computer—just not for a few days because he is out of town.

It is okay that he is out of town, because my Lappie is portable and small and is perfect for writing in my remote garden under the maple and chatting on facebook, but doesn’t have the omph to format documents or manipulate graphics. So having the book in one place is only part of the situation.

But he has a “bare-bones” computer that has not been assembled that will. He is willing to trade that computer for a piece of basement rubble he has coveted and I was going to sell anyway. So when he gets back I can not only download the file, I can build a computer out of the parts from my dead one and his unassembled one. It’s not a bad-ass gaming computer but it will be bad-ass enough. And my 16-year-old son has just acquired the URL AutisticGamer.com and plans to start a video blog. He needs a more powerful computer for himself to edit videos.

So I have the book done but can’t publish it.

Julie says, “As long as you are not doing anything, why don’t you try to fix a section of our stone wall?” She thinks the crumbled stone on the driveway give buyers a bad first impression of our house. I haven’t really wanted to do it because 1) I don’t know shit about rock work, and 2) big rocks are frickin heavy.

But there really wasn’t anything else I was doing. (In Julie’s universe she thinks she crashed my computer so I would fix the wall.)

So I ripped out the wall bitchin’ and moanin’ the whole way. As I was putting it back together I began to see how the guy ahead of me had built the wall. When it was done, I had repaired the worst 5 foot section of the wall. And it looked so good you couldn’t tell there was ever a problem. So now, I have no excuse not to finish the wall before a new buyer comes to look at the house next weekend.

I couldn’t do this if I had to do all the follow-up stuff involved with putting out a book and running a website. But when I’m done with the wall, the book is already done and waiting and I will have the computer to publish it.

If I could have to have planned this, do you think I could have come up with crashing my computer half-way through my book as a means to get everything I’m working towards? Only the Universe could have scripted this.

If it feels better to you, the people on my mailing list will be getting the Life Surfer’s Law of Attraction Handbook ahead of pack, so to speak. I’ll be offering it to people who were reading my old blog a few days after that, along with announcing it in the FB Chat. Just saying if you want to be among the first to get it, the form is in the upper right of this page. It’s possible that this might be a good idea for some of you.

If you’ve been following this blog you might notice that I am feeling my way around a bit to get my bearings. Last night I decided that I would remove the words “Easy-peasy” from my blog header. Law of Attraction may be a lot of things, but easy-peasy is not my experience. It sounds good to in a marketing sense, but it dishonors those of you who have had chosen a rough life so that you could become conscious creators.

To be fair to myself, I felt like I had “arrived.” Things were going my way on all fronts—albeit with a glitch here and there. Contrast is to be expected. I had made friends with contrast and had developed my own system of allowing the emotions to flow through me so the contrasting thoughts evolve away.

However, last week I encountered a problem. It felt better to sell my old hobby stuff: fishing boat, weight equipment, completion cowboy guns, and model railroad stuff. I have not done any of those hobbies for years, except the weight lifting, and If I don’t have to move that stuff and find space for them in a new home, it will be a lot easier. Besides money from the sales would fund my move if I so chose.

But I found that it was an incredibility difficult task to start. I encountered a wall of resistance that was out of proportion to the task. I had images of my mother making me clean my room, where it would take all day, with every toy put away taking an incredible amount of will power to accomplish. The feeling I should do the task brought up these feelings.

I knew that guilt was associated with the basement task, as other projects I had this year had the same tenor. I noticed then that I felt guilty if I didn’t do the project, and guilty while I was doing it for fear I was not doing it well enough. It was a lose-lose situation.

My non-physical mentor, Paul, suggested that I go into the basement, stand in the center, and then just feel around and do whatever task felt better. I couldn’t even go into the basement. I found things to do that felt like relief and conveniently kept me out of the basement. That was five days ago.

Three days ago, having avoided the dungeon for two days, I was in the netherworld between resting and sleep when the contrast became clear. Because I had been emotionally abandoned as a kid, I felt I had to do anything I could so my mother would feel better, and I lived in perpetual guilt that I was not doing enough. In her passive aggressive way, she would use guilt to manipulate me. This guilt-trip threw salt on my already guilt-ridden wounds and I got angry. This in turn made me feel guilty for being angry at my mom and the emotions spiraled out of control until I was paralyzed.

All of this was subsurface. What I experienced was just the paralysis. So, with this revelation, I was able to use my contrast technique and most of the stuff evolved away.

But I still stayed away from the basement. Yesterday, after 4 days of avoiding the dungeon, in a similar state of semi-sleep, I found that there were dozens of emotions, unrelated to each other bound up like a collection of yarn scraps clamoring to be released. I literally thought, “Calm down. I’ll get to all of you.” And one-by-one I cleared them. It took more than two hours never spending more than a minute or two on a single one.

Today, I went into the basement and there was no emotional charge. I took the words “Easy-peasy” off my header. There was nothing easy about any this.

I’ve reinstated the Ask Chip page. I invite you to take advantage of the opportunity to ask a tough question, especially if you are in a bad-feeling place. I’ll keep your identity hidden if I answer your question in my blog.

Once upon a time there was princess named Princess Jennifer Allison Wandermind, but she preferred to go by J-Wand. Now J-Wand knew that everything–the Universe, God and everyone–was there to serve her. Somethings felt better and were aligned with what she wanted, while other things felt worse and ran counter to what she was wanting. It’s kinda like what her dear sweet daddy used to say. He’d put his thumbs under his suspenders and declare in his best impersonation of Mark Twain, “All men make me smile, some when they arrive, some when they leave.” J-Wand knew even contrast was there to serve her.

Prince John Bradpitt, III was pretty sure “contrast” was a setting on the flat-panel TV in the home theater. J-Wand manifested him for his butt. To answer her tough questions, she manifested a guru-ish guy named Dillon that was friend of a friend of a friend of a guy she met in an 80’s style fern-barn that served exotic herb teas.

The Prince liked to fix things. Like the time J-Wand started to manifest—heck, I don’t remember what it was—let’s just say, for example, it was the World’s Largest Collection of Elvis Impersonator Bobble-head Dolls. She imagined how it feels to be the proud owner of such a collection, and pictured them set on progressively higher crystal pedestals in the nook beside her walk-in closet. And of course the first thing that happened was contrasting thoughts started percolating in her consciousness. She began to cry.

“Here baby, let me fix you up,” said the Prince.

“I’m not broken. I just have to let these emotions flow through me so they can evolve away.”

The Prince rolled his eyes and thought, “More New-Age Twaddle-crap.”

J-Wand thought back to when she used to think she was broken and all her friends would try to fix her. She smiled and was glad those days were over.

The Prince tossed the dregs of his wine into the fireplace as he exited the conversation room.

“Twaddle-crap,” she heard him mutter. She admired the way he swaggered when he walked away.

For you those of you who were wondering, the above was what we writers call a slice of life short short. If I made it any longer, one of the characters would have to evolve and grow. I just couldn’t have that.