The bathroom was a biohazard. The sheets smelled like curry and body odor. Conditions you wouldn’t find in the worst Compton crack house. I wanted to puke at the site of dirty water overflowing into the hallway onto the already moldy carpet. We did not have breakfast as we were afraid for our health.

These are a sampling of user-generated Trip Advisor reviews for five of the very worst rated hotels in London. Last month we brought you the lowlights from five maligned New York City hotels and if you thought those God-forsaken places were scary, wait till you read about the horrors travelers have experienced on the other side of the pond.

London is one of the most expensive cities in the world and it should be noted that these hotels are considered cheap, at least by London standards. But there’s a difference between a cheap hotel and a bargain, and based on what we’ve read, you won’t find us staying at these hotels anytime soon.

The website of this hotel, ranked #973 on Trip Advisor, features stock photos of London and none of the rooms, and, based upon the 161 1-star “terrible” reviews, it’s easy to see why. A U.S. Marine wrote a page-turning, 2,907 word novella on the many shortcomings of the hotel which he titled “Heinous.” He reportedly was roused from sleep at 7 A.M. by a man in a “brown leisure suite with a butterfly collar and gold rope necklace adorning his hairy chest,” who told him that he’d have to change rooms because the one he was in was being “demolished” that day.

A woman from Plymouth, U.K. wrote that the smell of “damp, rotting curry” hit her as soon as she walked in the hotel and reported that she slept with all her clothes on because of the “chillingly horrid” squalor. A British woman wrote that she knocked on the door marked “Reception” in order to check out and was greeted by a shirtless employee, dressed only in boxer shorts.

And another British reviewer remarked that the hotel was so dirty that they felt compelled to wash even the unworn clothing that was in their suitcase. A traveler from Brighton in the U.K. reported that the place was suitable only for “pigs or dogs,” and made them “think of their own grave.” A Swedish female reported that a hotel employee “pinned her against the wall,” and made an unwanted sexual advance.The Lonsdale Hotel

This hotel, ranked the #989th best on Trip Advisor, boats that it’s a “perfect” “family friendly hotel” with “original Georgian features” that has “bags of character.” But of the 116 reviews on Trip Advisor, 84 rated the place “terrible,” and just one intrepid traveler gave it 5 stars. One writer, who stayed at the hotel for Valentine’s Day, wrote that everything smelled bad- even the front desk agent. Another reviewer wrote that they found used condoms and bedbugs in their £70 room. A traveler from Lisbon said that his room had “sperm on the wall” and “drug needles under the bed. Other reviewers found “dead cockroaches in the sink,” and “an extremely disgusting pair of soiled and bloodied underpants.”

Another British traveler complained that the room was like a “dungeon,” with a bed that “had massive springs poking out,” and “no heating/radiator on despite it being below zero outside.” An American tourist reported that they were ridiculed for requesting more toilet paper. But the one hardy traveler from Wiconisco, PA who gave the place five stars, called the hotel “charming” and wrote that they were so happy while there that they sang tunes from “My Fair Lady” on their way to and from the hotel.

Numerous travelers complained that they’d been cheated by management at this hotel, which is ranked #971 on Trip Advisor, and has a staggering 218 one- star reviews against just four five-star reviews. A traveler from Finland claimed that they required hospitalization after being severely bitten by bedbugs. A Japanese woman claimed that her request for help in carrying her suitcase up four flights of stairs was flatly refused. A British reviewer wrote that the “filthy stained towels they provided looked like they were harboring some sort of horrific disease.”

Other travelers complained of “blood-splattered” walls and sheets, “a bismol service,” and “large holes punched in the walls.” One traveler wrote that they “noticed a large rat trap in the yard,” which they concluded was unnecessary because “no self-respecting rat would stay in this place.” But Alan in Plymouth, U.K. , one of the four brave souls who rated the place 5 stars wrote, “if you want a 5 star hotel..stay at the Ritz!”

This hotel, ranked #990, appears to use its website to try to reduce the expectations of guests before they arrive, by describing the place as “a clean tourist class hotel with basic facilities.” But despite that modest billing, 85% of the hotel’s 71 reviews are one-star stinkers with zero five-star reviews. A Mancunian woman who titled her review “avoid like the plague, you just might catch it,” commented that her room featured “a cracked sink, a double bed which sagged in the middle, a TV mounted to the wall which didn’t work and a window which didn’t shut.”

A Swede reported that “rain poured in though the ceiling” of their “roach infested room” and concluded that the hotel was “utterly disgusting and should be closed down for health and safety reasons.” A Scot titled their review “Is that poop or mould on the ceiling?” and a traveler from Milan said the shared bathroom “scared the hell out of me.”

Others complained about graffiti on the walls and an Albertan said the place reminded them of a “horror film.” A traveler from Belfast admitted that they’d read all the bad reviews but thought they were overblown. But after staying in the hotel, they concluded that it was a “nightmare” and a violation of “human rights.”

According to the hotel’s website, this place has been run by the same family for more than thirty years. But with a Trip Advisor popularity ranking of #978 and nearly 80% of their reviews falling in the 1-star category, perhaps the continuity in management isn’t necessarily a good thing. A British reviewer said that it was the “filthiest, most dilapidated place” they had “ever had the misfortune to come across.”

A family of five from Ireland reported that they had to move hotels in the middle of the night after being attacked by bed bugs, which gave them “itchy bleeding skin lesions.”Others complained about “curtains black with filth,” “rats in the rooms,” and “dubious stains” on the sheets and bedding. And a Torontonian opined that the hotel was run by a “very nasty and rude old man,” who told a different guest who complained about their room, “why can’t you be happy with what you have?”

Have you ever stayed in a nightmare hotel? Tell us about it in the comments section.