for i long to see the grand golden huesof fresh daylightand soft rosy blush of early twilight—the sunlit seas and moonlit wilderness—deathless bliss in a pair ofserene ebony irises—i stay put on the groundwith my scarred feet—battling the thunder,the gale, the avalanche—

for you—for me.

i'd go through thunderstorms just to be able to see rainbows in your irises, for that would make me happy too. in this, i say that i also want to be happy, for i deserve it. mainly written for a crush, yet i also intend to dedicate this to my family and friends, for i'd die for their happiness.

Sometimes my vision starts to vibrate Back and forth, Like the firmament of realityIs ripping apart into dreamsAnd I wonder if one day it'll goAll the wayAnd I'll just zoom off into some strange bruise of blueAnd purple-blackHeart attack

Reading HR on the wallThinking how far we have to fallFeeling the pleasant rush of airRun across my free cheeks

And I keep blinking, Thinking that if I just want a little morePush a little more Maybe the word will crack open the rains of fortuneAnd whisk me away like an egg

Grinding my fingers against the tree, Trying to eat at the barkLike a little ******But not so wrong, honestly.

I find more often than notWhen I oft retreat into enclosed thought, Stepping stones across the pondOf reality, I dream of something that could never be.

Like a stone, Crashing into a celestial domeOnly a fraction of an inchAnd destroying whollyAll things that called it home.

And I gave my First Snowglobe to them.…And When I had given that to them, I had told him to give me a gift in return that may have more to itself than just simple life.

“Inahah oona sept amni kquestal”.

Yet I had no other thing to give, this broken soul, beyond more than just flesh, I was naught. And so she had nothing more to me than that of the great overtone, the great silence of the earth, of space, her arms stretching invisible to hold our gaze to her innumerable foreign light show and state--

Perhaps there is another lover of soul somewhere within?

And he said simply to me, that there is someplace for me to be, someone for me to see-- that there was innumerable and inexplicable, incalculable and incomprehensible, powerful and overwhelming deterministic fate that guides my eyes, lets me chose without choosing, think without thinking, know without knowing.

And he knew—and she knew—and they knew with a knowing that I can never know; true and whole and unspoken, I can only dream to describe.

"We made the world for us, for you."

And I felt their love radiate that ferrous heart, steeled with centuries of pain and removal, heated by the ***** of her truth and guided by the loving, tender hand of his true brilliance that blinded and pleasured my aching eyes.

The entire web of the cosmos, in my eyes, dreaming and thinking that maybe I’d be back there one day, whole, float-- bool and cruelty of world inconsequential within the vast expanse of everything—

A powerful, emanative, restorative code of the universe that held itself no information but all, no hate but the misidentified ache of longing love, differed from the soul of the grinding earth—so far away from god through sickly skin and broken bone that without expanding into time and vaporizing into pure light, these feelings which we can never know.