Dear AL:I'm a huge fan of Britney Spears, but I'm very troubled with what's happening to her! This is not the same girl I worshipped since I was a teenager. What's wrong with her?- Patricia, California

Dear AL:I've been singing for most of my life, and I think I'm darn good, but for some reason I can never win locally American Idol type contests, just these no talent ho’s! Over the years I usually make it to the final 3, but earlier this year I got booted after the first round of voting when I sang Barry Manilow's "I Write The Song," and I sang my heart out!

What do I have to do to win besides distributing Antonella Barba type blowjob photos?-- Steffi (Not my real name), Germany

Dear Steffi (No duh!):Maybe the world didn't feel like singing when you sang Barry's song. It could happen!

More than likely it was just a bad day, or these judges haven't a clue what real talent is. I'm sure you'll do better next year, minus the nude photos, but don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you're good as you say you are *Cough*, you'll get more exposure by uploading a video to YouTube of yourself singing, but please no Copacabana!

Dear AL:My boyfriend and I broke up and he has been avoiding me for a week. I thought we can still remain as friends, yet what he does made me feel really sad.-- THAT GIRL

Dear Girl:Either your ex-boyfriend is cold, or he's avoiding you because he still has feelings for you, and can't bear being just a friend. Give him his space, and maybe he will come around, but be prepared if he doesn't. In the mean time, get on with your life, go out with your friends, masturbate!