7-party debates replaced with 93-party debates

by philapilus

Police try to hold back political party leaders as they storm the BBC studios

The breaking news that televised UK political debates may now include seven parties, has been immediately superseded by the news that in fact nineteen parties will be involved. This statement in turn has instantly been made null and void since we wrote it, by the news that twenty-six party leaders will now be debating.

The debates, scheduled to take place ahead of the general election later this year, were initially going to involve only the three main parties; Conservatives, Labour and Ukip. But after much argument between the prime minister and other leaders, the inclusion of smaller parties has now been put forward.

Political analyst Tim Twanks said “After agreeing to a contest between the big 3, it was clear Mr Cameron couldn’t avoid allowing the Whigs, the SNP, the Greens, and even Plaid Cymru to take part in the debate.

“But now that the number has gone up to twen- I’m sorry, this just in; it’s thirty-four – it’s looking like they’re going to need to book some sort of large hall to get everyone in.”

Since Twanks’s statement, the number of party leaders confirmed to be taking part in the TV debate has rocketed to 72, leaving open the very real possibility that even little Nick Clegg might get invited along.

Bumblebitch Bendycomb, Leader of the ‘My Pants Have a Rat Infested Crotch’ Party of the Isle of Wight, said “I have some very important underwear- and rodent-based questions for Mr Cameron, to which the people of the Isle of Wight deserve an answer live on air. If that’s not important, I don’t know what is.”

Non party-leading person Samantha Furcup said “How about if we did it so that that all the people taking part in the debate should be democratically selected? Then we could sit them in some big space, like, oh I don’t know, the House of Commons, and televise the debates, maybe on a little-watched BBC channel.

“We could call it – this is just off the top of my head, you understand – ‘Parliament’?”