Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

I’ve been taking a fair amount of heat lately because I can’t find it in my heart to support Our Dear Leader…I mean, The Greatest President Ever®… I mean Barack H. Obama as he runs for reelection.

Apparently, all I ever do is lie about him and make up stuff and be mean and disrespectful. I’ve even had the racist card played on me a couple of times.

I will freely admit to being disrespectful, primarily because I’m one of those curmudgeonly folks who believe respect should be earned and not come automatically with being elected to something. The rest of the charges, well, I imagine they come from folks who live by sound bites and pretty much want to believe that “Yes, we can” move “Forward” and build castles in the sky but really don’t like it when folks point out things like gravity, so they lash out. But that’s okay. I have a pretty thick skin.

Still, I do feel a little bit bad that I made them feel bad. So today, I’m not going to say anything bad about Barack H. Obama. I’m not even going to point out any uncomfortable truths. I’m just going to offer this short music video by two folks who apparently were card-carrying Obots hopeful, thoughtful supporters in 2008.

Comments welcome.Which are your favorites?Enjoy!

Last Thursday, as they do every almost every Thursday, my daughter and her husband and my son and his wife came over for dinner and a movie. His wife somehow managed to miss an incredible number of classics, like Meatballs and Ghostbusters, but that’s a subject for another day.

For most of the day, Martha did what women do when company is expected – she cleaned the already clean house whilst I slaved away at the keyboard. Or maybe it wasn’t already clean. I can never tell. To me, if nothing impedes my progress from point A to point B, and there are no insects in residence, the house is clean. Thankfully, Martha has somewhat higher standards. But I digress.

As the hour of their arrival drew near, it was time for us to get ready. So, having just showered, I was standing at the sink shaving when a word I won’t repeat here slipped out. You should know that I hate shaving. For twenty years, I sported a full beard, not because I thought it was fashionable or I thought I looked especially good, but only so I would not have to shave. It came off as a temporary gift to my lovely bride, who always hated it, on the occasion of our 25th anniversary, and when everyone started remarking that I looked ten years younger, I figured she’d endured prickly kisses long enough. But I digress again.

So the word slips out and through the shower curtain she asks what’s wrong.

“Blood-letting.”

“Oh.”

“I really hate shaving.”

“You should wax it. Then it would take a long time to grow back.”

“Yah, right. That little patch on my leg I did that time when Cathy used to do it hurt quite enough, thank you. No way I’m doing that to my face.”
“Oh, it doesn’t hurt that much and only for a few seconds. Women get bikini waxes all the time. If they can stand it down there you should be able to stand it on your face.”

“But you’re forgetting one thing.”

“What?”

“Women are crazy. They’ll do almost anything if someone tells them it makes them look better.”

Let’s just say the conversation deteriorated from there until kids and spouses arrived. But my point was a valid one, despite Martha’s protestations to the contrary.

What women will do to impress other women goes beyond all reason. And it is mostly to impress other women.

Sure, we guys appreciate it when you slip into that silky black dress with the spaghetti straps. And we appreciate it even more when you slip out of it, if we get to be in the vicinity. But we’d have appreciated jeans and a t-shirt just as much. Which brings me to my point.

Ladies, guys really don’t care what you wear. We don’t care if the jeans make your butt look too big. Or too small. Or too flat. We don’t care if your shoes match your handbag. We don’t care if you even wear shoes. We don’t care what color stones or metal you stick through your ears or hang around your neck. We don’t care if you spend hours layering on makeup so it looks like you’re not wearing any. Save yourself the hours and don’t wear any! We won’t even notice.

As for bikini waxes, just thinking about it causes our analogous area to recoil in horror.

The truth is, all we really care about is that you’re willing to be seen with us in public and that you don’t run screaming from the bedroom when you wake up next to us in the morning. After that ladies, it’s all gravy for us.

I hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend. I had to work for part of it, but I also got to spend time outside tending to some long-overdue trimming of various shrubs around our yard. I also had the pleasure of spending time in my workshop building a platform on which my son’s large window air conditioner can rest. I really should have spent time cleaning the aforementioned workshop, but where’s the fun in that? I even got to watch a movie last night, something I’ve not done much of this month thanks to Martha monopolizing the TV at night with Red Sox games. I can’t say she’s their biggest fan, but she’s definitely part of the 1%, fan-wise. I did waste some time on YouTube, though, and found a few videos I thought worthy of sharing. All-in-all, I had a pretty nice weekend.

How was your weekend? Did you have to work? What did you do? Let me know after you watch the videos.

First up, the marriage of the Hawaii 5-O theme song and Star Wars. I remember watching the original 5-O as a teen and I was a big fan of the first three installments of the latter, so I thought this kind a cool.

I was also a big fan of the original Star Trek series, probably because, back then, I consumed sci-fi novels at the rate of two or three a week. A decade and a half later, NBC brought the world The A-Team.

Finally fans of Star Trek, The Next Generation know Brent Spiner as the android Star Fleet officer Commander Data. Before that, he appeared in a number of other TV shows, including Night Court. It was his last role before getting the part of Commander Data, so maybe his “Bob Wheeler” really did help to make him famous.

Do you have some favorite YouTube videos? If so, and if they are appropriate for a family website, please link to them in the comments section. Thanks!