the sacred snooze

December 15, 2009

Let me just lay some some snooze ground rules.

Rule Number One: The snooze button exists so you can get an extra 7 minutes (or 10 minutes, or whatever your snooze is set to) of sleep. Don’t try to explain to me that I could just set the alarm for 7 (or 10) minutes later and just sleep straight through. If you try to do that, you clearly don’t understand the Tao of the snooze.

Rule Number Two: Rule number one shall only be excepted for one other thing. I shall not name that other thing here, except to say, the snooze could conceivably and righteously be used as a time limit for that one other thing. Some people perform better under pressure.

An egregious violation of “The Snooze,” a violation which should generally result in loss of snooze privileges, would be this–The alarm goes off, you hit (or someone hits) snooze, and rather than going directly back to sleep, you begin talking. TALKING!

There is no crying in baseball, and there is NO TALKING during the sacred snooze.