Sunday, September 28, 2014

Today marks the final game in the career of Derek Jeter. Like many, I'm not saying that Jeter wasn't a great player, a first ballot Hall of Fame player, but I am saying that this victory tour seems a bit much. For comparison sake - who can recall the send-off final season of Robin Yount - who was every bit as good (some would argue better) than Jeter.

Yount played much of his career as a shortstop but then moved to play centerfield because that's what the team needed. I can't imagine Jeter doing either - being athletic enough for center or putting the team first and changing position. Yount won two AL MVP Awards meaning the baseball writers twice felt he was the most valuable player in the entire league. Jeter never won an MVP.

Yount finished ahead of Jeter in the following categories; games played, doubles, triples, and RBI. Obviously that means Jeter was ahead of Yount in most of the other categories not named but also consider that Yount had almost 500 fewer strikeouts than Jeter and 70 fewer grounded into double plays. How close they were at the plate can be summed up in the fact that both finished their career with an OPS+ of 115 (OPS+ is a stat used to compare players from different eras).

Bill James created a stat called WAR (Wins Above Replacement) to try to quantify just how valuable a player was. Robin Yount finished with a career WAR of 77 (69th best of all-time) while Derek Jeter has 71.7 (which is 88th best all-time). WAR argues that Yount was the more valuable player. Maybe Jeter should give half his send-off gifts to Robin Yount because Yount was the better player yet didn't get a victory tour like Jeter is concluding tonight.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Here's a modest proposal for what Bill Simmons should do during his forced 3-week vacation from all things ESPN - he should go full Rainbow Head Guy (well not full, full Rainbow Head Guy since that would entail doing Angel dust and taking a hotel maid hostage). What I'm suggesting is that Simmons use the 3-weeks and his Platinum Visa card to go to as many televised sporting events as possible. Wear the Rainbow Head Guy wig to make it impossible to miss him in any crowd. Get the announcers to say, "Hey is that Bill Simmons?" How great would that be as a not so subtle middle finger to his suspension? Go to a Saturday college football game, Derek Jeter's final game at Fenway Sunday, Monday Night Pats vs Chiefs, etc, etc. He could bring Cousin Sal with him and have a blast! He could wear a "Fire Goodell" T-shirt instead of John 3:16 - how great would that be?

ESPN couldn't even say anything! All Simmons would have to say is, "Hey I'm on vacation!"

1. OK we get it - the Simmons suspension was longer than the 2 weeks the NFL first gave Ray Rice. Proving just how ridiculous this whole scenario has become. However, I thought if Simmons was to be deservedly suspended by ESPN for something NFL related it would have been for his lousy picks against the spread.
2. I'm not a conspiracy guy who thinks the NFL is behind this suspension. This is not good for the NFL. In fact it drags the issue out for at least another month (the 3 weeks Simmons is suspended and the week he gets back). The NFL wants this issue behind it - not dragged out (no pun intended).
3. Part of me feels sorry for ESPN. Simmons comes off as a bit of a petulant spoiled child testing the boundaries of how much the parent will take. The swearing on his podcast has become more frequent much like a child seeing how much he can get away with and now the "I dare someone to say something to me about this!" Petulant child whose punishment is to get paid for 3 weeks and not have to work. Really hard for me to work up any sympathy for Simmons on this.
4. We will know how serious this is if Cousin Sal doesn't do his NFL picks on SportsCenter. If the situation is a joke - Sal does them. If not then either ESPN says "OK Simmons we can't punish you so we'll punish your friends" or Sal thinks the punishment is so unfair he quits the ESPN segment in protest.
5. Roger Goodell is a liar. When will he be on the BS Report to air this all out? That's the ratings win that might be the endgame of this whole situation.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

At least in the Clinton Administration when we bombed another country it was preceded by a sex scandal... It is the reaction of the "adults" that make this really funny... It has been 73-years since that magical 1941 season when Ted Williams finished with a .406 batting average becoming perhaps the last man in history to ever reach .400 for a season. It should be recalled that Williams didn't even win the MVP that season with voters instead preferring Joe DiMaggio and his 56-game hitting streak... Worms on TV - the opposite of HypnoFrog?... Just a reminder - 5-years ago Bill Simmons gave up on the Patriots. They have gone 72-19 in the regular season since he pronounced their run was over including 3 AFC Conference Finals games and 1 Super Bowl appearance... BoJack Horseman is a pretty funny show. If you haven't watched it yet you should give it a try... In the 2007 NFL draft there were 11 QB's taken - all of them sucked...

Saturday, September 20, 2014

I try to avoid these discussions on sports talk radio and elsewhere but they have become unavoidable and I feel I need to put my thoughts down in order to get them out of my head. So here's 5 things I think about the current state of the NFL.

1. Ray Rice - in my book a man who hits a woman is a cowardly piece of shit. That's not to minimize female on male or same sex domestic violence but a guy hitting a woman is a special sort of despicable in my world. Rice should be gone from the NFL permanently and I hope NFL owners realize just how heinous his acts were and how radioactive he is as a player. The people who seem to be avoiding proper scrutiny though are the judge and prosecutor who enabled a slap on the wrist even though they saw the video from inside the elevator. Those are the people who should have lost their jobs by now.

2. Adrian Peterson - this one is a little more hazy. I don't believe that corporal punishment is an effective parenting tool but the debate on spanking is complex and involves one group of people telling another how best to raise their kids (in many cases people without kids end up lecturing on parenting). I give Peterson the benefit - he was a man trying to discipline his child who is not aware of his own tremendous strength. What he did to that child is abuse though and went beyond spanking or getting the belt or getting beat with a switch. Peterson is a man with 7 kids from 5 different women - so personally I have to question if he really understands the responsibility of fatherhood. Having said that you know in his world there are women lining up to be the 6th baby momma so at a certain level this becomes more of a societal issue than an NFL one. Peterson will be employed again in the NFL though I'm not sure if it will be with the Vikings.

3. Roger Goodell - he will weather the storm over Rice and Peterson. What may cost him his job is if the recent controversies compel Congress to strip the NFL of its tax exempt status. The NFL being tax exempt is a perversion of the tax code. Goodell could lose his job as a preemptive sacrificial lamb if the owners think it will satisfy Congress enough to quell the issue or Goodell could be fired as punishment from the owners if the NFL loses tax exempt status. This is the issue people should be pushing.

4. Fantasy football - I didn't feel bad avoiding Ray Rice at my fantasy football drafts. I was just being prudent. But fantasy football made me feel dirty when it came to Adrian Peterson because, if I'm honest. my first thought on hearing the news was "Crap - I gotta get him out of my lineup." Mea culpa.

5. NFL pre-game shows - one of the side benefits of the Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson allegations is I haven't watched a single minute of any NFL pre-game shows. I need sportcasters and ex-jocks discussing societal issues in my life just as much as I need Hollywood movie stars telling me how I should think politically. I haven't watched any of the shows and I haven't missed them.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Am I a bad person because I laughed at this?... If I had a brewery that competed against Heineken - I would have a commercial of two skunks drinking Heineken saying things like Heineken is their favorite beer and how you don't even have to leave it out in the sun for hours to get it to the way skunks like their beer... Space Shuttle breaching the clouds... I really think many Red Sox fans are paying more attention to how Pawtucket is doing in the AAA playoffs than how Boston is doing in MLB... The word "alamo" is Spanish for the cottonwood tree. "Remember the Cottonwood" just doesn't have the same ring as a rallying cry though... Kinda like the Eagles (+3) and the under (54) tonight. If the line goes to 3.5 then I'd love Philadelphia in this game. Everyone and their brother seems to like the over which is a good time to go the other way...

Monday, September 08, 2014

The past two years I have traveled to Miami to watch you play the Dolphins. Both years the Patriots were clearly the better team but both years New England lost. I am not taking responsibility for the losses but I am saying intelligent men like the three of us do not believe in coincidences.

What I propose to you is simple and straightforward - you pay me $10,000 to stay home and not go to next year's game in Miami. This is a pittance to pay for an insurance policy. If you do not pay and if I go to next year's game and once again you lose - my price will go up to $20,0000.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

As we embark on the new NFL season - consider that Alex Smith of the Chiefs is now a higher paid NFL QB than Tom Brady. Yeah - I know... Laniakea - we are so very, very small... If I were to have a one-man acoustic band that only played U2 cover songs - I'd name the band Mono... Is it interesting or ironic that some bars chill shots of Fireball?... Very cool. I hate being a pincushion... I wonder if the characters of Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar were loosely based on Billy and Whitey Bulger...

Thursday, September 04, 2014

Tonight's first game of the 2014 NFL season is an excellent match-up. The Super Bowl Champs Seahawks at home vs MVP candidate Aaron Rogers and the Green Bay Packers. If you were going to bet the game - who to choose? Green Bay is getting 5.5 points and the over / under is 46.5 points. The game could go either way - making this a perfect type game to play "the middle".

If you make the following 4 bets - you would create a big ole middle ground where I think there's a sweet spot for tonight's game:

If you bet $100 on each - the most you could win would be $400 but the most you could lose is $200 (at least one of the bets has to come in). The benefit is you are creating a middle where as long as Seattle wins but not by more than 12 points and the total score is between 40.5 points to 52.5 points - you win! Even if Green Bay wins the game but the score remains between 40.5 and 52.5 for the total - you don't lose any money!

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

More proof that government involvement could screw up a wet dream - tax revenue from pot falls far short of expectations. So expected tax revenue in Colorado was supposed to be $33 million in the first six months but was instead about $12 million. I could have sworn that initially tax revenues were way above expectations so I guess after the opening jolt of people buying "legal weed" for the first time or out-of-staters coming in for "pot tourism" - has the demand fallen off?

If the price for legal weed is much higher than the street price then it makes sense(imilla) to buy "black market". But isn't this counter intuitive? When prohibition ended - people didn't keep buying home brew - they started buying the "real stuff" because it was better and cheaper. Are the taxes and fees so high as to make "legal weed" too expensive? Because I'm having a hard time believing that the street weed is of better quality than the legal stuff.

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

On this date in 1901, Teddy Roosevelt delivered his "speak softly but carry a big stick" speech. Today's President seems to have his own version, "speak off the cuff and carry no stick at all"... The real war that inspired Game of Thrones... A friend had a kale smoothie the other day. When he told me I thought he was making a euphemism for a green crap as in "I took a kale smoothie this morning"... Because kids don't understand history - they probably think "the erection of the Berlin Wall" is something dirty... California water hypocrites... Snake Plissken? I thought that guy was dead!... If an apple was magnified to the size of the earth - then the atoms of the apple would be equal to the original size of the apple...