Saturday, September 24, 2016

Money is tight right now. I don't make much money, and the Duke's job is all the sudden not certain. Due to this, we're trying to be even tighter with money than we already are.

I don't believe in spoiling my daughter. She does have a number of toys, but we are very picky about how many, that they are educational, help develop hand eye coordination, manual dexterity, encourage imagination, etc. Because we don't want to spoil her, I don't ask often to buy her things. But the other day I saw something I wanted her to have. We had just bought a used Little People Disney castle with a handful of princesses and princes for a really good price. I didn't expect her to really play with it yet, but we have a little girl over often that I thought would like it in the mean time. But baby girl spends a couple hours a day playing with this castle and Little People.

Last week someone was selling the Little People Snow White and Seven Dwarfs set used. The Duke said no to my getting it. He knows I want to get more characters for her because of how much she's playing with it, and he's alright with that, but he thought the price was steeper than we should go. So he said NO. NO. He said NO...

It hung in my heart. I'm not sure why. It sat there heavy, hurting my feelings for some reason. He's said no to me dozens of times. I remember the first few times had hurt similarly, but that hasn't happened in a while. This time it did. I felt my need to be submissive WAR with my want to provide this toy to my daughter that I knew she would love. It hurt to not get this for her.

I know I'm doing the right thing in accepting the Duke's answer, but I am surprised at how much it's still bothering me. I mean, it's just a toy. She doesn't even know we were thinking about it, so she won't miss it. Maybe it's a sadness over money needing to be so tight as well. Not sure. I know that if it were a need, he'd probably be more open to me spending the money.

So here I am, learning how to immerse myself in submission more. Even though submission can be hard, I am enjoying the beauty. The Duke is definitely giving more to me time and attention wise. He's seeing to more of my needs. He's challenging my submission, and helping it grow. I spend as much time blushing as I do smiling, but I still am thankful. Maybe I'll share next post some of the things he's doing... maybe I'll even be brave enough to share some of the ones that make me blush! Blushing just saying that! lol

Monday, September 12, 2016

So, I've found that bedroom dynamics really play into our relationship. And not just in the sense that I find the Duke so incredibly sexy when he leads. :) Or that I find it hard to think about other things when he has so much of my attention.

What I'm finding about bedroom dynamics is that it helps us when the Duke has lost his stride, and has forgotten to lead. All it takes is a day he wants to be extra dominating in the bedroom, and then he likes that feel of control and power, that dominance tends to pour out into other areas. Sometimes just for a day, sometimes for a lot longer. It's always nice to see him leading by his own devices without my asking if he could help.

Do you find that in your own relationship? That if you can get your spouse/partner to sink into their role in one area, they'll start doing so in other areas as well? What seems to naturally spark their interest to return to their role?

Friday, September 09, 2016

First, the reason I've been away is life has just been so busy. Mostly with a little one who had constant ear infections. We now have tubes and life is getting so much better! I have caught up on my house work, and projects in my life that needed tending, and am ready to get back to life. :) I now can sneak some time in while little one plays. She can play on her own for periods of time, and I actually like to encourage this. So here I am.

Life has been interesting, and the Duke has been slow getting back into his groove. You know, sometimes it just takes one thing, and that was one day when I sat down to have supper, and couldn't believe how starving I was. I then said aloud that I couldn't remember if I had eaten yet that day. I quickly did recall I had a bowl of Mini-Wheats for breakfast, but the Duke was less than impressed. So now when he calls on his breaks, he checks to see what I've eaten, which is now a rule, along with what I've done around the house for the day. Spanking is still a bit off right now, especially since my parents are staying with us at the moment. But I feel his leadership growing again, and feel I'll be feeling my butt a bit more in the near future! His observations and attention have been very welcome, and I'm enjoying watching him grow into his role again. He's also smiling more, and I love that. :)

So I'm looking forward to the future. More time to visit here. More time to be with the Duke, and enjoy life. :) More time to have fun. :) I was catching up on past posts that I had taken down, I realize I'm down to less than fifty to go through, once those are up, I'll feel like I've caught up here too. I have been processing some things on submission that I'm eager to share in the near future.

About Me

I'm a wife to a wonderful man we call The Duke. We're DD, D/s, light BDSM and I sometimes have a little side. We're on a constant mission to make our marriage better and stronger than ever before. I'm hoping to become a better wife and person in the process.