Message Boards

Topic : 05/29 Parenting Dilemmas

Number of Replies: 283

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Thursday, May 25, 2006, 09:42:01 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Are you a parent whose household is spinning out of control? Cindi says her daughter, Kristina, used to be a fresh-faced all-American beauty, but now, with seven tattoos, she looks like a freak! Cindi says that if her daughter gets inked one more time, she’ll cut her off. Then, Nancy was heartbroken when she learned her 17-year-old daughter had been keeping a devastating secret. See this teen's message about how opening up saved her life. And, when Nancy Davis was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 14 years ago, the doctor said her life was over. She knew she had to get better for her three young sons. See her heartwarming message for anyone dealing with an illness. Then, a mom struggles with 7-year-old triplets competing to be the best! Talk about the show here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

Kristina's Tatoos

I am a 32 year old mother of 3 with one on the way.I always have wanted a tatoo but was scared of the reaction I would get from society.When my first son was born I wanted to do something on a personal level to celebrate him.I got my first tatoo when I was 26.A "winnie the pooh" with my sons name under it.Since then I have only gotten good responses from it. Later in life due to a past surgery I have had two micarriages.Both in the second trimester.Again I wanted something to celebrate my two "Angels".I decided on a cross on my back with their names and dob/dod beside it.When people see it the response is awesome.I will do it again when my little girl is born in September.I have not one regret on having the tatoos done.In Kristina's case I think that her mother should consider that it may be a way to celebrate or to remember certain things in her life.As it is for most people.However,I don't agree on having them done without perental consent.I think that Kristina's mother should talk with her daughter on a more personal level about her tatoos instead of critisizing her about them.Kristina is still a very beautiful girl reguardless of her tatoos and that is what is the most important thing.I agree with the others on this board.She should be thankful that is all her daughter is doing.

Love 'em and smile!

My beautiful 21 year old daughter seems to be addicted to tatoos too. I do not like them but I really do love her........both facts she knows very well. The first of her tatoos was gotten after turning 18 (she knew I would not sign permission before that) and that one is in Han gul (Korean writing) and she thought was her name in Korean........however there was a slight mistake and the translation means "MUD". She did not find this as humorous as I did! Her whole back is now covered with writing (all in Han gul) and is a combination of her name, her birth parents names and our names. One of her friends told me that she thought our daughter had really come to peace about her whole heritage. I still do not like the permanancy of tatoos and I do think that it was a mistake and that there will be regret, but I do realize that this in not my issue but hers and I also figure that someone is soon going to become quite wealthy with a tatoo removal system!

There are many many things that would be much more life changing for a 21 year old than tatoos and I am thankful that those are not issues, but I still don't like It.

she is still your daughter

i can understand the frustration but do not cut her off she is still a child of God just like we are childeren of our God. And our God forgives us personal i beleive if God whated us born with tatoo's on our body we would be born with them. That is what i told me kids if they wanted any it will be after they are 18 and there decission not mine. But i had four out of four that got tatoo's one realy bad i did not want to be seen with him and do not tell me it does not change a persons emtions, and the family and the ones around them because it does. But for the mother u can not change what she had done and pls do not cut her off God forgives us and we have done a lot wrong. For the daughter i feel that u did this to get your moms attention for some reason my kids did. But i cuted my one daughter off because this is what my late husband whated and two years later she commited sucide. I never had a change to tell her i love her and forgive her.

be unique

it is called growing up and its her own decision...im tired of ppl saying stuff about those unique ppl who choose to be different! im sick and tired of ppl thinking all women have to be blond and big busted and beautiful to be normal! GROW UP PEOPLE!! i say, GO DAUGHTER, be urself and dont let nobody stop u!

Pick Your Battles!!

From a mom that is tattooed and changes her hair color on a regular basis cause I like being a natural blonde or redhead.....depending on my mood for the month!!

I learned from raising my daughter who is now 20, pierced, tattooed, stretched earlobes and with funky hair.....that you need to pick your battles. It's only hair.....it will grow back, the color will change like she changes her socks, the piercings can heal over if she takes them out when she's 40 and the tattooes can be covered up if she doesn't want to show them off.....the stretched earlobes....well surgery for that. What's most important is that my daughter is still the wonderful person she is on the INSIDE!! That's all that matters to me. Accept them the way they are on the outside, look beyond the "stuff"....love them for who they are on the inside and remember......they are 1/2 you and 1/2 the person you loved enough to marry and have children with!!

TATOOS

As a mother who has gone through this same dilema with my now 21 year old, I can sympathize. Speaking from experience and what friends & family members kept telling me, "They do it just to get a reaction and attention" My son was into the "Goth" phase when he was 13 and talk about depressing

He would wear black clothes all the time; painted his finger nails black & even dyed his already black hair darker even though I didn't think that was possible. His room was filled with Marilyn Manson posters.

We would have some real doozy of arguments over his appearance. There were times when I even dreaded going out with him in public.

I finally got to the point where I kept my comments to myself and within a year, he changed gradually. Gone are the black clothes, finger nails & Marilyn Manson posters. He does have a lip ring which he occasionally removes.

I think people sould mind their own buisness!

i believe people pass judgement to soon before actually knowing them. its like judging a book by its cover. i ,as well as my husband, both have tattoos, and i must say i love them. in fact i look forward to getting more. however i do know from past experiences that you do get looked down on and treated disrespectfully. we are no different than anyone else,we both have respectful, good paying jobs, we live in very nice neighborhood ,have4 wonderful children we are law abiding citizens and we even go to church!!!!!!!!!!! so please give me the respect i feel i deserve, know me as a genuine person (we also have feelings) before judging me!

I'll start out by saying-I'm danish,and have been brouhgt up,not judging other people,just get along with them....I talk to anyone-I know that it sometimes could lead to misunderstandings,but if it goes, well,I'm happy....I once wanted a tatoo,but now,at age 28,I do not dare doing it.I can do without,because when I get older,it might be something I regret,and that is the last thing I wanna do-regret!-Learned that it's the last thing to do....don't regret things you have done,rather regret things you never did!!!!Hope you are all well-talk to you soon....Henriette from Denmark!

05/29 Parenting Dilemmas

Saw the show Friday evening. I always get your programs a day early. Cindi the tattooed teen-age has no clue what she is doing and/or its impact on her life and that of people around her. I seen people trying to get into the military and/or govement job, turned down because of medical problems that can and will concur in later life and the appearance of one's self. The the lady with the three boys. She should be thank God for them and let them be boys. Stop dressing them the same and the won't complete with each other

well

i believe people pass judgement to soon before actually knowing them. its like judging a book by its cover. i ,as well as my husband, both have tattoos, and i must say i love them. in fact i look forward to getting more. however i do know from past experiences that you do get looked down on and treated disrespectfully. we are no different than anyone else,we both have respectful, good paying jobs, we live in very nice neighborhood ,have4 wonderful children we are law abiding citizens and we even go to church!!!!!!!!!!! so please give me the respect i feel i deserve, know me as a genuine person (we also have feelings) before judging me!

well tattoos are ok but it harms your skin. its a sin to mark on your body. jesus did not mean for us to mess up our bodys!!!! i think tattoos make a person ugly. tattoos are not sexy. it makes a man or woman ugly and nasty looking. you may be a great person on the inside, but on the outside it makes you look nasty..... periceings are nasty too. they make people look like they do drugs!!! i just think its all nasty looking and i am not judgeing for who you are! i am just saying it makes people ugly and nasty looking thats all!!

quote!!!!

no one says if you have tattoos you are a bad person! its whats on the inside that counts. but tattoos and periceings make people look nasty and messes there looks up!!! thats all i am saying!!! god did not want us to harm our bodys and put ink in your skin! its a sin!!