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SBI-Submarine Pens Proudly Presents:
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THE PURPLE THUNDERBOLT OF SPODE VOL 3, 46
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"Two years and REPLIES TO: HailOtis@socpsy.sci.fau.edu
still going strong"
* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSSS
*** P P U U R R P P S
***** P P U U R R P P S
******* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSS
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WRITE TO: IGHF/955 Massachusetts Ave., Suite 209/Cambridge, Ma 02139
Pope Jephe: jstevens@world.std.com
Doc Simpson: scott@plearn.bitnet
Subscriptions: HailOtis@socpsy.sci.fau.edu
####===================================================================####
INTRO
####===================================================================####
Hello and welcome to yet another issue of Purps. I know you're all pig
biting mad for not getting an issue sooner. So in hopes of getting an
issue out, I've tied myself to the old chair and won't untie myself until I
get purps done or really need to go pee.
Here at the Submarine Pens we've been upgrading technology, which usually
is a comedy of errors. In our case, Purps46 which was more or less done, got
eaten by a word processor. So I had to rebuilt it. Sad to say I'm not up to
that Herculean task at the moment so I'm going to cheat and pull our some
other stuff. This issue of Purps may be a bit short, but hopefully
entertaining none the less.
This has also shown me I need to spend an afternoon organizing how
submissions for Purps are archived and sorted. Right now there are one of
four or five places where submissions can go. All of these are a total
mess. Imagine four large garbage dumpsters filled to the brim with
submissions and other assorted electronic gagaws. Now take a big spoon and
stir them up. Now wade through these and find submissions. Not a pleasant
task aye?
Well, rather than curse the readers of Purps and worshippers of OTIS with
the Creiza-ish hell, I've devised an alternate way to create a Purps. It
seems I had a few things lying around for the last purps of my own creation
all of where were going into purps. Well, I decide why not rope all these
together as an issue and have done. I need to feed the starving souls of
OTIS after all.
What this boils down to, for those of you watching pots, is that you may
not see your submissions this issue. Well, keep your kilts on. Hopefully
I'll have another issue out soon. (I always say this and it never happens,
but this time it will. Honest.)
I suppose you could call this an issue inspired by Humpy the Stumpy Bear
and other Outside Forces.
So without further ado let's cobble together what I've got and edit away.
####===================================================================####
QUESTIONS ANSWERED
####===================================================================####
[We got this list of questions so we decided to rely on Humpy the Stumpy
Bear to help us answer them.]
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 12:33 HKT
From: LBSPODIC@USTHK.BITNET
Subject: FWD: FYI
X-News: cphkvx.cphk.hk alt.personals.ads:512
From: godschmf@ucbeh.san.uc.edu
Subject:Can I Ask You a Question?
Date: 5 Dec 92 16:26:36 EST
Message-ID:<1992Dec5.162636.2228@ucbeh.san.uc.edu>
Can I Ask You a Question?
by mary
>Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
Carmen San Diego due to her popularity among children has become a
franchised industry similar to Amway or Santa Claus. No one can answer this
question correctly because so many of 'her' exist. Your neighbor may even
have bought into this lucrative deal and may don the personal of Carmen at
unexpected times.
>Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?
Sesame Street exists in a similar fashion to Tanelorn or say the village in
Brigadoon. It wobbles in and out of reality on its own time stream. How
else could frogs talk and vampires exist for the sheer pleasure of counting?
>Why can't people remember the way to Sesame Street from day to day?
See above answer. Or perhaps they do not experience enough of the Carmen
San Diego franchise to be able to tell directions correctly. Or perhaps
these people live under high tension power lines. Lord knows what happens to
a person's sense of direction when exposed to electromagnetic radiation of
that nature.
>Why do they tell us to watch "The Today Show" tomorrow?
This is a marketing gimmick. The stupider more gullible people of the world
will spend the next 23 or so hours glued in front of the t.v. trying to
figure this one out. Then suddenly it's the Today Show again and they relax
and watch the show.
>Who is "they" anyway?
Those who figure out who "they" are usually disappear mysteriously at night
after their neighbors see bright lights in the sky.
>Why does ABC call their evening news "World News Tonight"?
Because there is so much news happening in the world they have decided to
just concentrate on the stuff that happens at night. Any daylight shots you
see during the news are due to high intensity "sun gun" lights they are
using. Some have also pointed out this could be a marketing ploy similar
to the above Today Show scam.
>Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected and
>so therefore one is expecting the expected?
Thinking along these lines can often lead to accidents.
>How does one expect the unexpected?
Send money to the IGHF they have a secret lesson on it. This is an ancient
secret passed down from one church elder to another. Once there was a slip
up. This resulted in the creation of the Gobi desert. Secrets like this
can't simply be given out. They are dangerous.
>Why doesn't anyone say "expect the expected" or "don't expect the
>unexpected"?
Because they are too busy expecting the unexpected.
>Why do women wear a pair of panties and one bra?
This tradition began at Elvis concerts. Documented evidence showed that
woman would often wet their pants at the sight of his gyrating hips. In
order to plan for this inevitable happening (refer to expect the
unexpected) they began to use a pair of panties instead of just one panty.
>Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
On many planets putting one's pants on one leg at a time is a sign of
weakness. Mankind must always be prepared to welcome diplomats from other
planets. Please see previous Purps for information on the correct
procedures for welcoming interplanetary guests. In some obscure South
American tribes putting on pants one leg at a time is reserved only for
days where there is a full moon.
>Has it ever rained cats and dogs?
Yes. This is in fact what killed Charles Fort though many sources will deny
this. Also this helps explain why we have a constant problem with stray
animals in our urban areas.
>Why would anyone want to go around the world in just eighty days?
Talk to your travel Agent about this. The cheapest fairs can be had this
way.
>Would you be Mr. Rogers' neighbor?
Depends if you can deal with a man who wears sweaters and slip on sneakers
all the time. A man who has an alternate universe called the "Land of Make
Believe" between the walls of his dwelling. A man who knows every tradesman
and blue collar worker in town. A man who'd make an ideal diplomat for our
off planet visitors. Could you imagine Mr. Rogers even blinking an eye if
an ion blaster toting alien knocked on his door, the leg of the milk man
sticking out of his mouth?
>Do you know the way to San Jose?
Ask your local Carmen San Diego Franchise.
> Where does weight go when you lose it?
Scientists have discovered a way to collect this lost weight for their own
secret purposes. They are using it to help build a planet for themselves.
This planet would orbit exactly on the other side of the sun from us so we
would never see it. You will note how scientists are always pushing this or
that diet scheme. They need more weight. They realized that time is running
out here with this earth because of the amount of pollutions here.
>What is love?
Soon Amway will be selling it in large gallon bottles.
>If it's true that two wrongs don't make a right, do three lefts make a right?
Depends on which universe you are in and how well you learned geometry in
high school.
>Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
This is a military secret because the word bomb is involved. So far our
lobbying of the government has not released the appropriate documents
under the freedom of information act.
>Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?
The banking system often wishes that ease and lease sound alike for
marketing purposes. So far the federal reserve has managed to keep the
words sounding different in order to put a damper on cash flowing around
like water.
>Does "Sixty Minutes" actually last sixty minutes?
Actually it lasts 63 minutes but due to commercials it seems to last
slightly less than 60 minutes.
>How long is a short story?
This depends on what sort of award you are going for and how much ink the
publisher is willing to squander on your words.
>Where is East Jesus?
This is one of the secret code words for the scientists' planet they are
building.
>Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
To keep from getting dizzy.
>Who wrote the book of love?
If you play the book of love song backwards, the answer becomes obvious.
>Can George Bush read lips?
Yes, but he has to squint a bit to do it.
>Why do zebras have stripes?
It helps them look thinner. Scientists use this to camouflage the fact
that they fatten them up then cause them to lose weight for their East
Jesus project.
> Why does the phone ring as soon as you get in the shower?
Your shower puts tiny droplets of water in the air which short out the bell
mechanism in the phone. If you place your phone in an air tight plastic bag
before taking a shower you should not be bothered by this problem.
>Does a watched pot ever boil?
Depends if you have water in it or not.
>What is the function of an appendix?
This organ originated in mankind during ancient Sumerian days to help human
beings fill out income tax forms. Due to its small size it never proved to
be very helpful.
>Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive?
Bill Clinton doesn't "think" Elvis is alive. He knows the King is alive.
This is one of those things Presidents get told during the meeting
when the former President hands over the atomic weapons' codes along with
the keys to the oval office rest room. The rest room that contains a
working replica of the space toilet used by Buzz Aldrin and his comrades on
their first visit to the moon.
>Does Bill Clinton think Jim Morrisson is alive?
Why else does he play an instrument? He wants to be in the Lizard King's
band.
>Why do people cry when they're sad?
It tends to get more sympathy than holding a sign.
>What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?
To find out this and other Santa trade secrets why not join a Santa
franchise.
>How does Santa fit down a chimney?
Refer to the "air lock escape" scene in "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"
for that answer.
>Why aren't there many Hanukka specials on t.v.?
It depends on what cable company you have. Call your today for the All OTIS
channel.
>If rainy days and Mondays get you down, what do you do on rainy Mondays?
This is a good time to commune with higher beings to give you support. Give
the OTIS hot line a call and they'll straighten you out. Or perhaps you
could try one of the many rituals mentioned in previous issues of Purps.
>Who cares how it plays in Peoria?
Peoria contains many mystery spots. It's nice to know how your equipment
will behave under interdimensional aberrations.
>What are Neilsen families?
One of the Lost Tribes of Israel who were severely persecuted throughout the
ages by luddites for their technophilia.
>Why am I asking all these things?
The only way to find the secret to the universe is to ask.
>Why did you read this?
We are here to teach.
>Am I really seeking answers?
We always seek answers. Life is but a serious of tests and all you have is
a broken number two pencil.
>What do you think?
Depends on the size of your donation to the IGHF.
####===================================================================####
THE STUMPY TABLES REVEALED
####===================================================================####
[As our views may recall, in last purps we published this message. In this
issue we have the answers.]
THE STUMPY TABLETS, part one
(TABLETES STUMPITUS)
as received and transcribed by the Reverend John
> While vacationing in Independence, Missouri (said by the Mormons to be
>the new Jerusalem, when Christ comes)
No doubt this belief is due to the handful of Roman artifacts found on this
site due to an ancient religious migration. Perhaps also due to forward
seeing religious mystics who saw that real estate prices would be quite
reasonable in that neck of the woods when the end comes near. Of course
these same forward seeing mystics could have had their vision clouded by
the Zachinthian D.O.R. beams. There is also the fact that the ley lines
converge in that area. In ancient times the local Indian population braved
the swampland that used to make up this area in order to worship certain
gods and idols archaeologists of today have dared not to speculate about.
>I was strolling through the woods minding my own business when I underwent a
>most peculiar experience.
One cannot go out searching for religious experiences. They just happen.
People who go searching for that perfect religious experience end up having
the Men in Black over for tea or end up on a one way trip to Nightmare
Alley.
> A small brown bear with a wooden stump in place of one leg waddled
>into view, looking plucky and hopeful. I stopped in my tracks; she was
>a thing of beauty, a joy forever. She nodded at a nearby tree, which
>was partially rotted, and then wandered off into the forest.
Humpy the Stumpy Bear, unlike many other divine and mystical beings has
enough intelligence and wisdom to know that a bombastic appearance is not
always necessary to make an impression. Other divine personages have not
come to this realization and often appear in alarming forms and manners
uttering booming incoherent gibberish. Of course this makes for a swell
story but when it comes down to revealing the Solar Word it doesn't do a
very good job.
>My heart racing, I hurried over to the tree.
Do you recall what kind of tree? This can be very important since the old
Druidic alphabet is based on trees. [refer to _White Goddess_ by Graves]
>Inside, I found a set of six golden tablets. These tablets were curiously
>marked, and resembled nothing so much as cafeteria trays.
Gold neither rusts nor tarnishes. It is immortal as is the Solar Word. Gold
has been used throughout the ages to engrave important messages seeing as
the owners of the golden plates tend to treat them with a bit more respect
than one would treat say six paper plates.
No doubt the were actually cafeteria trays. They were probably left over
from the banquet of the gods. Humpy the Stumpy Bear is a very resource full
being.
>Sure enough, there were spaces for the entree, the side dish, dessert and some
>bread. But in these spaces there was no food; no; lo; for within instead were
>inscribed words of great learning. I at once set about to transcribe these
>words. Many were difficult to comprehend, and thus the translation here is
>incomplete and puzzling at best. It is my fervent hope that other scholars can
>pick up where my humble faith has left off, and render these transcriptions in
>their full meaning, for all to see. That said, what follows are my best guesses
>at the contents of the Stumpy Tablets.
No doubt much of the text is in a short-hand code. If one where to take
magic marker in hand along with a cafeteria tray one would soon realize
just how little space for revelation there is on those culinary apparatus.
Those with the proper initiation, along with divine guidance may be able to
decipher these texts. Luckily I have here a bit of both, including Humpy
the Stumpy Bear Herself. Sad to say she was a bit surly today with the
weather not being all that wonderful and grumbling about being returned
home soon.
>(1) For the kingdom is soupful, and all fall within the spoon.
If one will recall their physics lessons, at one time it was taught that
atoms and such formed a sort of soup. This soup is what the universe is
made out of. All fall within the spoon means that the universe, or soup, can
be manipulated with the spoon which is the divine power which comes in many
forms. The Secret Rites of the Knights of Otis, the Solar Word, The powers
of the Priestesses of the Banned Cybele, etc.
Soup is also a nourishing food. Perhaps this admonishes us to seek
nourishment from the universe with the help of divine powers. Through
divine powers we can learn.
Soup could also refer to the ether which connects everything in the
universe. On Star Trek we see one use of the ether to transmit messages at
greater than light speeds. Or to travel at warp speeds. What is the medium
the transport functions in. The ether of course.
Here with the first verse we are told that there is a universe and it
encompasses all. With the spoon or divine power, we may have dominion over
it much as man was given dominion over the earth in Genesis.
>(2) Those and with more besides shall not plenty be right.
Here we are told the universe is vast and there is plenty for all. Using
the Divine power we can each have a veritable Niagara of knowledge come
flooding into us. Because there is so much we should be willing to share
with every enlightened being. This means not charging outrageous feeds for
divine knowledge as some religious such as the pipes who smoke.
>(3) Signs and thorns of symbol all incorrect.
To worship the divine symbols is foolish, dangerous and not enough. They
lead to the thorny path of destruction. Symbols themselves do not make a
religious, nor do witty sayings. Slavish obedience to symbols is incorrect.
One must know to look past these symbols. The symbols are just that and no
more, as your name written on a slate is not you, but a reference or symbol
of you.
>(4) Profess label for both and repairs for neither.
One cannot fence sit when it comes to religion or beliefs. One cannot
professor to be one thing and not another. One cannot hold up the symbols
of divine faith or power and then when quested not be able to go beyond
these and answer the seekers of wisdom. This again is a warning. One must
be knowledgable in the ways of divine power. One cannot simply profess a
belief only to know not what they are talking about. When one professes a
believe they may gain followers. If you cannot guide and conduct your
followers according to your professed beliefs you are in deep do-do.
Having the trappings and symbols of divine knowledge and power but not the
teachings and wisdom can start one down a very slippery slope from where
there is no escape.
>(5) Plunge! Plunge! Plunge!
Obviously this refers to the Toilet Mysteries. No doubt it admonishes us to
drink deeply from these mysteries for divine guidance. They are the true
path and will help us avoid the pitfalls mentioned above.
>(6) Next week tune in turn off tupper wear.
More revelations will follow. We are admonished to look for them. We are
also warned against the sin of tupper wear. Though it may look like a great
way to store food, it often absorbs unsightly food stains and odors which
will last a century.
Week in this case may refer to any time period. For example, the world was
created in seven days. Well six really, with a day set aside for goofing
about and admiring work. Perhaps these are solar days which in some cases
may last 1000 years the time it takes a certain star in the heavens to
revolve once.
>in peace and good tidings,
>Rev
>uc521832@mizzou1.missouri.edu
####===================================================================####
The Mass of the MOSTUS
####===================================================================####
The OTISIAN, her/his breast bare[1], stands before an altar[1] on which are
her/his OD[3], Toilet Plunger, Bowling Towel, and two Chocolate Ding Dongs.
In the Sign of the Blue Light she/he reaches West across the Altar, and
cries:
Hail Otis, that goest in thy pram
Into the caverns of the Dark!
She/He gives the Sign of Elbo, and takes the Plunger, and a Ding Dong, in
her/his hands:
East of the Altar see me stand
With pomp and circumstance in my hand!
She/He strikes Plunger eleven times upon the Altar in the order
1800ASKBROW[4] and waves Ding Dong about in a most disconcerting manner:
I Plunge the Ding Dong: I read the OD;
I utter the mysterious Name.
OTODOSTHEEMOSTUS
She/He strikes Plunger eleven times upon the Altar.
Now I begin to pray: Oh OTIS,
Holy Thy name and undefiled!
Thy reign is come; Thy Will is done.
Here is the Ding Dong; here is the Towel.
Bring me through midnight to the Projectors Light!
Save me from B. Otis and from Zakinthians!
That Thy one crown of all the Four
Even now and here be mine. AMEN.
She/He puts the first Ding Dong on the Bowling Towel.
I Plunge this savory cake, proclaim
These adorations of Thy name.
She/He makes them as in T.J.O.C., and strikes again Eleven times upon the
Altar. With the OD she/he then makes upon her/his breast the proper sign.
Behold this bleeding breast of mine
Gashed with the sacramental sign!
She/He puts the second Ding Dong to the wound [5]
I stanch the Blood; the Ding Dong soaks
Oh stop the blood before I croak!
She/He eats the second Cake.
This treat I eat. This Oath I swear
As I enflame myself with prayer:
'There is no max: there is minimum:
This is the Law: Send Us Money!'
She/He strikes Eleven times upon the Altar, and cries:
OTODOSTHEEMOSTUS
I entered in with woe; with mirth
I now go forth, and with thanksgiving,
To do my pleasure on the earth
Among the legions of the living.
She/He goeth forth.[6]
1. If this ceremony is to be performed in public or for exhibition purposes
the initiates allowed to wear any one of the many IGHF t-shirts. The
"Pagans!" one may be the most appropriate. If you need one of these ask
about the OTISIAN watches as well.
2. An altar cloth of any sort may be used. It should be picked for the
occasion. Bright colors in certain circumstances may be used to encourage
spectators.
3. OTISIAN Directory.
4. This is the pattern of knocks.
5. This may be a symbolic or a real wound, depending on the mood of the
initiate, the type of results wanted, and any spectators involved. For
those with stigmata, these can be used as a substitute for the wound.
6. For added dramatization take a page from Galliger and shower any
attending crowd with something.
####===================================================================####
CONDOMS FOR ZLOTIES
####===================================================================####
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 21:02:25 -0500 (EST)
From: Jeffrey Stevens
Subject: Re: Holy Zloty, Batman!
Hey, I'll send you some zloty forthwith. Or ask Doc Simpson. Doc Simpson,
incidentally, will repay in Zloty (scads of them) for condoms (sans n-9),
which are very hard to get over there.
EJ, Liza, Reid and I have already donated to the Society for the Prevention
of Shotgun Weddings Among My Closest Friends (Pope Jeff Stevens, founder.
est. 1992). You could help. In fact everyone on the Purps mailing list
could help. We'll collect them at 955 Massachusetts Ave., Suite 209,
Cambridge, MA 02139-9183 and mail them in a great big box. Little notes to
Doc Simpson would also be appreciated.[scott@plearn.bitnet]
[stuff deleted]
HAIL OTIS!
PJI
####===================================================================####
A DEEPLY RELIGOUS TALE
####===================================================================####
((((((Chapter Eight ))))))
{As you may recall the divine messenger had gone off to take and bath,
leaving the Hell's Angels to make a crucial decision that could change
their lives forever. Just as soon as the messenger had left, a servant of
the Devil himself showed up and managed to con almost half the Hell's
Angels into signing away their souls before our hero managed to scare him
off.
We now join our story an hour or so after there's events.}
Fredric's back yard by now had more or less been totaled by the
peasants and their plow. The Angels sat quietly together staring off into
the sky, too stunned by the past events to do anything. Fredric sits quietly
next to Trixie quaking slightly, mulling over the threat the agent of Hell
had given him before disappearing with half the Angels. For the past half
hour Trixie had been trying to get the fat artist to explain to her exactly
what was going on.
"Fredric why did they pick you for this quest. It's all insane. Angels
don't go around like that anymore, only in the Bible." said Trixie trying
to understand.
The bender of wire sighed and tried to come up with a reasonable
explanation for all the weird events, "Well maybe the world has gotten so
bad that they had to resort to direct intervention again."
"Come on Mr. Wilberforce. I've already told you that we're just doing
this to make a swell story," said the messenger materializing out of thin
air. He looked about and saw the quiet Angels and became alarmed. "What
happened," he demanded, turning the volume up on his bull horn more for
added effect.
"This grease ball from Hell tried to steal our souls," answered one of
the Angels.
"Holy Good Night!" exclaimed the divine messenger. He stomped around
for 30 seconds muttering curses. "I'm afraid that might have happened.
Hell's been very pushy of late. Luckily I see Fredric some how managed to
dispose of the menace."
"Oh he was wonderful!" cried Trixie smiling and hugging Wilberforce
who turned red with embarrassment.
"Well Mr. Wilberforce looks like our panel of experts picked the right
guy after all. Looks like you are made out of sterner stuff than that putty
like complexion implies."
After getting a more or less coherent story of what had happened, the
divine messenger gathered everyone around and then asked, "All right, who
want's to find out what the goods are? Remember you have to go on this holy
quest if you really want to know."
Everyone raised his or her hand including Wilberforce. Everyone was
excited as young children on Christmas.
"Okay the gather around," advised the divine messenger. He then took a
step back and snapped his fingers. Suddenly folding chairs began to rain
from the sky digging up holes in the lawn and putting dents in
Wilberforce's Mercedes in the front drive. Everyone took cover from the
bombardment which lasted only a few moments. The messenger laughed in
merriment and snapped his fingers. Again this time various audio visual
equipment materialized itself.
"Make yourselves useful folks. Set up the chairs and let's get this
multimedia extravaganza under way," directed the man in white robes as he
strode over to a film projector and checked it's set up. After everyone had
recovered from astonishment for this amazing feat, they did what the man
with the bull horn said. Soon they had rows of chairs set up facing the
scream. People took seats and looked about wonderingly. The divine
messenger stepped up to a podium in front loaded with remote control and
after puffing on his pipe for a moment suddenly realized something. "Oh
dear! We can't show a movie in broad day light." The messenger looked
about, scratched his head and then after warning people to cover their ears
adjusted his bull horn to maximum volume. He then pointed it at the sky and
yelled, "Could you dim the light please."
As if by magic the sky suddenly went black and the stars appeared.
Scientists all over the country were baffled and would pull their hair out
for years after this event. The Chinese peasants became afraid and called
on their ancestors to protected. In other words this sky suddenly going
black had caused quite a big mess. Of course it's beyond the scope of this
meager tale to tell of all the trouble it caused. We'll leave it up to the
reader to imagine just how bad it really was.
The messenger flipped some switches and a film started up on the
screen. An Angel yelled for pop corn and it promptly began to rain the
stuff. "I hope you realize that even the Israelites didn't get this
treatment," pointed out the messenger as he refilled his pipe as the film
began.
The film turned out to be a short pink panther cartoon just to get the
crowd in the mood. Some else yelled for beer and the sky was suddenly
filled with raining beer bottles. The divine messenger realized that
someone could get a nasty bruise from a falling beer bottle quickly
conjured up umbrellas and cautions the Angels to be more careful about
their requests.
Finally the film started. Everyone went quiet except for the pipe
smoker man who whistled along with the opening music.
****************
An hour later the film was over and everyone got up and stretched.
Using the bull horn the messenger brought the sun back and once again chaos
rained. (Again we will leave it up to the reader to figure our all the
trouble it caused.)
After clearing his throat the messenger began to speak, "Well now you
know your quest. You have been given all the crucial information necessary.
Should you decided to accept this mission Mr. Phelps...." The messenger
broke up into fits of hysterical laughter and fell off his podium. Everyone
looked at each other eating fistfuls of pop corn and guzzling beer. No one
could quite grasp what there were after. They though it would be something
amazing like a piece of the true cross or the holy grail, but the Holy Pray
Beanie?
Of what divine importance could a silly hat with a propeller on top be
to anyone? Next to the Holy Prayer Beanie the Arc of the Covenant looked
like a pop gun.
Finally the messenger managed to get himself under control. "Well now
you know the story folks. I suggest you get a good nights sleep and set out
tomorrow. Remember you all asked for it and now you'll have to pay the
consequences. I admit it does sound a bit silly, but still it makes an
exciting tale. In our hands the beanie can become a powerful tool for good.
We need it back and each and everyone one of you are not responsible for
seeing that it is returned. Good night." with these words the messenger
disappeared, leaving everyone in a daze.
####===================================================================####
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--Subink 1993