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life in the eyes of an empress .

The Road I’m On

I feel like this road to bettering myself as a person and as a Christian is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to overcome . Everyday is a challenge . I’m nowhere close to where I aspire to be but I feel that I have made progress .

I started going to bible study once a week with my home girl and I definitely gotta say I’m proud of us … We had to stop due to work schedules and personal business but it started getting me into the habit of taking the time to get in touch with God . But we tried, I mean how many people are in my life right now would join me in bible study ? Not as many as the amount of people that would come with me to the club that’s for sure lol . But that’s fine , I don’t take that personally because this is a decision I made on my own . If my friends want to do the same then I’m definitely bout it bout itttttttt .

That’s another thing . I don’t ever want the people in my life to think that through my decisions I expect them to do the same right away . I talk to my friends about God but it’s up to them what they want to do with their lives . I just gotta live through example . Do I go out ? Yes . Does that make me a bad person ? I don’t think so but I know a few people who would say otherwise . Does that matter to me ? No . This isn’t “My Journey to being a better person featuring so and so” this is MY journey and if I make a mistake it’s on me . I learn from it and I try not to repeat it again .

Someone asked me what made me decide to finally get baptized and get back into the Word . Well ….

A few months back my mom and I were just having a mommy and daughter conversation and talking about my future and where I wanna be in life . Now my mom is my rock , though she aggravates me sometimes she is always there for me . Being the spiritual person she is , she was talking to me about my relationship with God and how non existent its become … Now I’m horrible at taking redirection so I took it in a negative way but it’s true … But I was thinking well how can I better my relationship with Him and she suggested that I get baptized . 0_o whoa . I always thought that getting saved was for people that were basically perfect “no spot or wrinkle” and I was way off from that so I put that whole idea off . Then a month or so later my mom brought it up again and reassured me that no one is perfect ; Saved Christians aren’t perfect either . Then voila , October 27th I got baptized . Pretty cool experience … literally . The water was freezing man . But I felt good after .

Another factor that got me to get baptized was the Second Coming . Now I’m like seriously slow because I never knew this would ever happen *yikes* . But in Revelations the Bible talks about the times of the world getting seriously bad and Jesus coming again for His people . When my mom told me that I brushed it off because I thought she was crazy smh . Then for the next few weeks she would wake me up in the middle of the night and show me a video clips on YouTube by different people talking about the same subject but one that stuck out for me the most is a man named Lonnie Mackley . He’s such a meek man and he’s so inspiring . But after knowing this it was hard for me to just sit back and continue living how I used to live knowing that I may not go to heaven . People joke about it but honestly , I’m not tryna go to hell lol … Though I don’t have my one way ticket to heaven yet , hopefully before my time is up on this Earth I will have earned it .

Being Saved in my eyes is basically signing a contract with God saying that you will try your hardest to be the best Christian you can be . As my bible study teacher said , “if you wanna be a better person before you get baptized then what do you need God for ?” He’s here to help me get to where I need to be , I know I wouldn’t be able to make it without Him . I feel the pressures every single day ! Sometimes I fail … Sometimes I pass . It’s just an ongoing journey for me .

Man I have really been writing this post for the past few days … I’ll look at it and then save the draft and then walk away . I think it’s because I’m kinda nervous about a post like this . A lot of people look at the fact that I got baptized or even tweet a rare bible scripture and are like =/ … But I’m slowly learning not to care . *pumps fist in the air*