Thursday, October 22, 2015

Okay so you know those notes on Facebook where you ask all those random question and you answer them and you think you're pretty cool for doing so? No that was just me. Okay, well I was fooling around on Facebook and decided I would answer these question now but also keep the answer from 2009. Sound good?

Oh yeah this was orignally posted on November 27, 2009 so I would have been a Sophomore in high school.

1. Promise not to skip or delete any of these questions? 2009: no2015: I'll be a good sport and answer all the questions

2. If you married the last person that texted you what would your last name be? 2009:my last name but that would be really weird condisder the last person to text me was my dad 2015: again my last name because the last person I text was Mama J this time.

What's the most important part of a relationship in your opinion? 2009: trust 2015: based on friendship

Do you think the person you like is cute? 2009: yeah 2015: yeah, pretty much. 😍

What's the first thing that pops into your head when you think of last summer? 2009: camp 2015: Work

Are you happy? 2009: yeah 2015: I'm happy but stressed and have bittersweet feelings towards graduating.

Are there songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone? 2009: at the moment no 2015: There are songs that make me think of people but they aren't songs that I can't listen to they just bring up so memories.

Know anybody who's a bad kisser? 2009: no 2015: No

Would you rather have no heat in winter or no A/C in the summer? 2009: no ac in the summer cuz i've done that 2015: no ac in the summer because that's how my house and car have been forever.

Wearing any bracelets? 2009: not at the moment 2015: no, not right now but I love wearing them.

Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love? 2009: yes 2015: I do but I think its extremely rare and takes a lot of work and most teenagers aren't mature enough yet.

Are any of your friends taller than you? 2009: it's not hard to be taller than me 2015: I'm 5' 3" so yeah there are taller people then my.

How many text messages are currently in your inbox? 2009: 57 i emptied it recently 2015: I don't think its possible to see all the messages on the iphone.

Did you copy and paste this survey? 2009: how else would i get it? 2015: almost six years later I'm not sure what this question is really asking.

Have you ever dated a football player? 2009: nope 2015: nope

Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? 2009: yes the blanket around me is pink and so is a piece of paper on my floor 2015: most likely, that's my favorite color.

Where do you wish you were right now? 2009: anywhere but here 2015: First off I wonder where here was. But right now I wish I was traveling the world.

How late did you stay up last night and why? 2009: 10:05 cuz i was tired 2015: 9 PM because I woke up at 4 AM this morning

If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back? 2009: idk i don't have boyfriend so i would have to say i will cross that bridge if i evdre get to it 2015: I don't think I could ever take a cheater back

Are you planning on having a kid? 2009: on day 2015: Like what I'm guessing I was trying to say 6 year ago, yes one day I plan on having a kid.

Do you consider yourself a study freak? 2009: not at all 2015: I'm trying to make dean's list this year so I'm trying to be.

Is there someone you liked so much and nothing ever happened? 2009: yes 2015: Is there anyone who hasn't gone through this?

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating? 2009: probs 2015: Yeah because if I wasn't happy I'd just leave.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? 2009: i don't plan to smoke weed 2015: Still haven't smoke weed.

If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive? 2009: no 2015: I have never seen any so I really don't know, but I'm going to have to say no.

If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? 2009: yes 2015: Only if it was someone who I had feelings back for.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it? 2009: one day maybe cuz you want it for a reason and everything happens for a reason 2015: Yes, because I think if you truly want something you would really work for it.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you? 2009: probs 2015: Definitely, but that's okay, not everyone is supposed to love me.

Ready for kids? 2009: not at all i'm only fifteen 2015: I think I still have at least 5 years until I want kids.

What's one thing you do when you're mad? 2009: depneds 2015: Normally call Mama J and rant or rant to a friend.

Ever been called a bitch? 2009: who hasn't 2015: Yeah

How many kids do you want? 2009: 3 or 5 i guess idk it's in the far future why are there so many questions about kids in this note? 2015: I still want 3 or 5 but I'm leaning closer to 3

Who was the last person to make you smile? 2009: either jamie or mom whoever made me laugh last 2015: 2009 version about myself

When's the next time you'll see your closest friend? 2009: idk 2015: I have a lot of close friends so it depends on who it is.

Who is your favorite person to have long conversations with? 2009: depends 2015: Megan and Mandi

Is anyone over protective over you? 2009: maybe 2015: My mom.

Will you be in a relationship next month? 2009: idk i can't see the future 2015: Probably not.

Do you trust all of your friends? 2009: no 2015: I trust my close ones

Are you any good at math? 2009: yes 2015: I don't know what changed but now I'm horribleDo you have a reason to smile right now? 2009: not at the moment 2015: I'm laughing with my roommates about how immature we were when we were younger

What was the first thing you thought this morning? 2009: what am i listening to?????????? 2015: Must get up for work.

What are you currently listening to? 2009: Family Stones 2015: My roommate talking

Where is your phone? 2009: on my leg 2015: In my back pocket

Last time you felt bad about something? 2009: today 2015: I don't know

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? 2009: maybe 2015:

Are you happy with the way things are going? 2009: yes 2015: Things are going pretty damn well now

Would you ever get a tattoo? 2009: maybe one day 2015: I really want ones but I'm too scared

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? 2009: no 2015: What kind of talking. Like pre-dating talking or just having conversation.Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? 2009: my mom 2015: My mom

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years? 2009: maybe i can't see the future 2015: I'd hope so

Would you go in public looking like you do right now? 2009: if i had probs not though 2015: Yeah, I go out like this all the time.

Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? 2009: yes 2015: yes, apparently

This time last year, what was your love life like? 2009: singe 2015: I was single

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone? 2009: yes 2015: yes

What are your LEGAL initials? EKJ

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy? 2009: yes 2015: Sometimes I just need a break

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? 2009: drawing 2015: Working on this

Is it possible to be single and happy? 2009:yes 2015: Be single and happy until you meet someone who makes you no longer want to be single.

Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment? 2009: kinda 2015: No

Do you miss anyone? 2009: no 2015: no

Do you trust people? 2009: a few 2015: a few

Is your life anything like it was 2 years ago? 2009: no 2015: Everything has changed

Pizza rolls or bagel bites? 2009: either 2015: pizza rolls

Does anyone have feelings for you? 2009: idk2015: maybe

Have you ever told anyone you loved them and meant it? 2009: my parents 2015: my parents and Mandi and Tori

What is one thing you miss about your past? 2009: idk 2015: Not thinking about how soon graduation

Monday, October 12, 2015

I have had a lot feelings going through the past 5 weeks. A lot of them aren't a positive as I would have thought. Don't get me wrong. There is a small piece of me who is excited to graduate. I mean I get to experience new things and I'll get a break from school for at least a year before going on to graduate school. Plus when I no longer have to live by a school schedule I might have more time to travel which will be really awesome.

But the majority of me is scared to graduate. The biggest thing that scares me is that I still have no clue what I want to do post college. I don't know what kind of career I could want. I go through different ideas about as fast as I go through underwear. TMI? But nothing really seems to suit me. I'm not sure that any of these careers are something that I could see myself wake up and do every day for the rest of my life. Or at least until I retire. Wow, retirement is an even scarier thought.

Another reason that I am scared beyond belief to graduate is because I know how to do college. After three plus years I know how to make a schedule, I know where to print my papers, I know how to format my papers. I know how to organized a dorm room (to the best of my abilities) and I know how to make friends in a classroom. What I don't know how to do is adult. I don't know how to find a big girl job or what its like to work all day Monday to Friday. I don't know how you make friends that aren't just thrown into life whether its from class or randomly living near each other. I know in time this will come naturally and I'll laugh at myself for even being worried about but for now I'm worried.

Speaking of making friends who aren't just place in your life by people who have power over those types of things, my friends are at school. The only person from my hometown that I really talk to is Tori. The rest of them are at school. And of the ones who are graduating at the same time I am live near school or even further away by like an hour from me. I'm worried that I won't see them as often. And after a lot of thinking I've realized that if I could work anywhere post graduation it would be in the same area where I am currently going to school. But at the same time I know that I am in no place post college, finically that is, to live in an apartment. So, all that is stressing me out.

The biggest reason is that I'm not ready for this chapter of my life to end. I have enjoyed college but I haven't enjoyed it as much as I should have. I feel like there are things that I missed out on. Some of them are stupid naive girly things. Like I thought I'd come to college and meet a guy and fall in love but now 4 years later I realize that is unrealistic. The majority of my friend and people I know haven't had a steady boyfriend through college. And if I'm being honest I'm grateful that I didn't have a steady boyfriend throughout college because I learned to so much and grew so much as person. But other's

And then there is growth. Logically I know that I won't stop growing as a person just because I'm handed a diploma but I have feel like I have so much more growing left to do that would make sense to do at college campus.

Although there is a lot anxiety in my mind as I chug through my mid-terms and prepare for what should be my final semester as a undergrad, actually my final semester in school for at least a year (I'm definitely taking a break between undergrad and grad school). But there also is a lot of pride. My college has a rate of only about 19% of students graduate in the course of 4 years. I am going to be one of the 19% as long as all of my classes are offered next semester. Not only that but looking back at my Sophomore Year, which arguably was the hardest year of my life and there were times that I thought I would never graduate because I thought that I wouldn't be able to make through school. There were times where I debated dropping out. I wondered if college really was for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, even if I don't think of ready to graduate, even if the idea of doing so gives me anxiety and as much as it doesn't seem possible that its already that time in my life, I am damn proud of how far I came. As a student, as a person, as a member of society.

So, here's to the last semester and half of my undergrad career, hopefully it will be the best ones yet.