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Wednesday, December 9, 2015

That Ma'am-Sir is Bird Sh*t!

This morning, even though it was freezing and brisk, I was
reminded of my vacation in February to the Philippines. I was sitting on the
train when a woman frantically was trying to open the bathroom door. No one on
the commuter train actually goes in the bathroom. She couldn’t get the door
open and was starting to panic. Since I was close, I was like “Oh great! I’m
going to smell something soon.” She starts asking for tissues as she is holding
out her arm like a rigid stick.

A woman with a baby grabs her wipes out of her bag “Will
these work?” she says.

“That’s better than a tissue! Thank you! Thank you!” the
rigid armed lady says to the woman with the baby. She starts wiping her arm and
turns to everyone looking at her and says “A pigeon got me! Bird sh*t all on my
arm!”

And that’s when I lost it because I too have been in a
similar situation (but I kept it inside because I don’t want people to think I’m
crazy…and ya know…blog about me)

I was caving in the Philippines when I set my hand down on a
railing that I was actually allowed to touch. I felt something goopy under my
hand. I didn’t think much of it because water was leaking from all around but
then I realized that it wasn’t water, it was something else. I look up at our
tour guide and have this horrified look on my face while I look at my hand. In
his broken English he says to me “That Ma’am-Sir….is bird sh*t!” We nearly fell
over in laughter. I was no longer concerned with my poopy hand. I was laughing
with the best one liner (that he didn’t even know was a one liner) from that
vacation. It was a good thing too because I left the essentials in the vehicle
and anti-bac was nowhere to be found. This woman on the train was lucky enough
someone had wipes available to her...and I was lucky to have a silly memory instead.