My weight appears to be the same today. I haven't taken my measurements lately, I'll try to do that next week.

I have been doing really good lately w/my eating habits. I spend most of my work day in my car running from one client's residence to another. I got a cooler and put it in the trunk of my car & fill it with carrot sticks, string cheese, flavored water, yogurt, applesauce, and an occasional salad. I'm trying really hard to stay away from fast food.

My boyfriend bought a bike for me at a garage sale and took it to a bike shop to be fitted with new tires. We're going to start riding bikes in the evenings (good exercise)!

I am very pleased with my weight loss but know I need to exercise regularly in order to tone up. I have excess skin on my stomach, thighs, and upper arms.

Two of the greatest things about losing weight is that I feel physically better! It's amazing how different I feel on a day to day basis. Secondly, clothing! That is an awesome part of the change. I can walk into any store, see something I like and find it in my size. I am having the time of my life shopping for clothing these days. What surprises me most is that I actually look good in the clothing (that's never happened before)!!!

Hope everyone has had a great weekend!

God Bless!

Lisa

breakaway on 05/16/2004:
WOW lisa! I am so very proud of you! I looked at your weight and thought MAN that girl is doing terrific. I really miss going into any store and just picking out something you like and find it in your size. Now I am having a big prob finding maternity clothing in a size 3X. I have to order everything. The largest size then have is an extra large. Not quite big enough! Well, you have a great day and you are doing awesome! Keep up the good work.

chickie_maui on 05/16/2004:
You are doing amazing. I just read through your entire board, and it is wonderful what you have done for yourself. Congratulations. My next goal is to break free from 200 pounds.

feeleebubs on 05/16/2004:
You are really doing great! I have a question, you said you have some excess skin on your upper arms. I have huge arms and am very worried about having that same problem. They are about 16 inches now and if they EVER get smaller, I'm wondering if excess skin will pose a problem or will it be no big deal.

congratulations on your weight loss, you are doing so well. The cooler in the trunk is a great idea. My husband and I do that when we travel. Isn't it wonderful to be able to go in most stores and find things that fit, instead of having to go to the bigger ladies stores. I'm starting to be able to do that again too. Makes shopping so much more fun. Continued success to you

Well I shed another 5 lbs! I'm SO excited. Things in my life have been really crazy since I began my new job; hardly have time to sit & breathe anymore. But, I have full medical benefits & money coming to pay bills with so I suppose I can't complain.

Life has been really good with my boyfriend & children. Children are doing great, boyfriend is treating us all excellent!

I had to go out shopping for all new summer clothes & shoes. Everythign I wore last year definately didn't fit this year. But, I'm loving every moment of getting to shop! I'm savoring the experience of getting to buy sizes 14 & 16; I never thought I'd live to see the day I was into those sizes again!

1/2 pound loss this time. I also lost 3 inches in the waist, 1/2 inch in the chest, 1/2 inch around the thigh and 1/2 inch around my upper arm. I'm happy with my results for the past month.

I met my parents half-way between our homes in Ohio & Kentucky. They had not seen me in a couple years. The last time we were together, I was over 300 lbs. I couldn't believe their reaction to me. They were SO shocked. My parents hounded me throughout my childhood and adulthood about my weight. They would say vicious things, tell me I was ugly, make oinking and mooing sounds at me; it was very hurtful. Now, they say I'm beautiful, look great, and they can't believe how pretty I am now. It feels good to hear them say those things, but, it would have been nice if they would have loved and supported me no matter what I looked like.

Some people choose only to see the exterior and ignore the inside of a person.

But, I am at a happy place in my life right now. I went out last night and bought myself a pair of white jeans and a nice blouse to go with it. I enjoy the way I look in clothes now. I use to hate looking at myself in the mirror with clothing that was either too big, too little, or just outright ugly.

My next goal is to be in size 14 jeans consistently. I can wear them once in a while but they're still a little too tight to wear out in public. I want to be able to get rid of all of my size 16's and completely transition over into 14's. Wish me luck.

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement, it certainly means a lot.

Things are quiet on the divorce issue for now. I'll keep you all updated.

Am going to Cleveland for the weekend with my boyfriend, I can use the stress-buster! Things at my new job have been hectic; Calgon, TAKE ME AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!! (echo echo echo)!!!

God Bless!

Lisa

inmorning on 04/15/2004:
That is so sad about your parents. Before my dad was a Christian, he used to hound me about my weight and say really hurtful things. I remember once when I was 12 and 5'1 and weighed 100 pounds I was eating chips in the kitchen and he came in and told me fat girls look good in braces. Then he made me keep eating because he thought I was being a drama queen putting it away. I still remember every detail. He has appologized profusely and of course I forgive him but wow, what a heartache, so I understand. Good job on your loss.

roxy321 on 04/15/2004:
HEY! wow growing up was the exact same for me! Unfortunely i still have to see them :oP Anyway, Im so jealous of your weight drop! CONGRATS enjoy and have a FUN stress FREE weekend ! much love!

Another pound down! I have really been watching what I'm eating. We're going to Hawaii in August and I'm determined to look at least half-way decent in a bathing suit.

Things here have been really hectic lately; hard to find the time to see straight. Things have been extremely busy with my new job and stressful as well. But, I'm trying my best.

As far as my ex, thank God, I haven't heard from him in a while. He's still wanting a dissolution, strangely however, he's in no hurry to fill out the necessary paperwork and get it back to me. I think he figures as long as we're not actually divorced, he doesn't have to pay child support. As usual, it all comes down to $$$ with him.

I will be glad when the dissolution or divorce (whichever we have to file) is over and I'm no longer legally married to the jerk.

The kids are doing well...my oldest son turned 18 today. He's in KY visiting with my folks. I am going to call him today to wish him a happy birthday. My daughter seems to have adjusted well to things. Now that her father and I have little contact, and we're not arguing a lot, she seems happier.

I just think that my ex and I have been separated a long time and it's time that we get this thing finalized and get on with our lives. My boyfriend and I are ready to move ahead. We're spending this weekend in Cleveland...we need a stress buster weekend away.

Sorry that I haven't had time to read any entries lately. I'll try to do a few a night until I get caught up.

Weighed today, down another 2 lbs!! It sure feels good to see numbers UNDER 200 for a change. Hope everyone is doing well...things here are fine but busy. I'll catch up this weekend!

God Bless!

Lisa

feeleebubs on 04/09/2004:
I'm with you, I am really liking being on this side of 200 rather than the other side lol Glad things are "fine but busy"...I've been thinking about your situation alot lately with your ex. As alays, I wish you the best!

bluestone_girl on 04/09/2004:
thats great!!! i hope i see the scale going in the same direction!!! keep up ur hard work.

Thank you everyone for your support; I've really needed it lately. Now my ex has decided while my daughter is at his home for visitation, that he and his girlfriend will decide when or if I get to speak to my daughter when I call. Last weekend, I called and nicely asked to speak to her. He slammed the phone down. Later, I called again and his girlfriend told me that my daughter couldn't come to the phone because she was "outside playing." I said, "Okay, but I would still like to talk to her." She rudely slammed the phone down. Later that night, I called back and was cursed out by my ex...then he turned all the phones off (cell, home phone, etc). At first I was really furious. But then I calmed down and reacted the best way I knew how. I went out and bought a cell phone for my daughter that would permit her unlimited local calls. I will no longer have to call his home at all when needing to talk with my little girl. I'm sure he was really upset when he found out because it's his desire to control EVERYTHING and I got around that.

Also, he knows he's supposed to have our daughter back home at 9 P.M after his weekday visitations. So, he has developed this pattern lately of making her call me to say, "It's almost 9:00 and Dad's just now getting dinner on the table. He said he'll bring me home after we eat." It's his way of getting around what we've agreed on.

Yes, I'm venting and I appreciate you all listening to me. I get so tired of being controlled by this man. The greatest thing however, is that he's stupid enough to put a lot of these things in writing (e-mail) which is admissible in court. He doesn't seem to understand that when he's writing these things, he's writing for an audience (the judge). But that's ok, the more rope I give him, the more closely he appears to hanging himself.

In any event, my weight has not changed. As long as I haven't gained, I am happy. Things are going really well at work. I think I will like this job! Thank God I finally have a job with medical so that I can divorce that jerk!

Have a great day guys! I love ya (hugs)!

Thanks for everything!

Lisa

kscmeg on 04/02/2004:
WOW! Your ex sounds like a real jerk. So needless to say this is not a good divorce now is it? I feel very bad for your daughter though. I have a question for you to think about..Does your daughter know how bad it is between you and your exhusband? Does she know how badly you two get along? Because if she does, the two of you may be ruining your relationship with her. I may be wasting my time with even saying any of this, but as a teenager (Im 22 now) my parents went through a divorce and there was so much bad mouthing and so much disgust and it was such a mess, that as a result I dont even speak to my father anymore. Please just think about the consequences. Your ex sounds like an awful man and its a good thing you are divorcing him, but please try and take the high road--for your daughters sake. This way, youll come out looking like the "angel" and hell look like the "devil". it sounds like youre trying to do a good job of that right now. Be careful though-- AND GOOD LUCK IN COURT!!!! He sounds like he deserves to be screwed a little

feeleebubs on 04/02/2004:
Wow Lisa...the more I read you entries, the more I hate your ex. I am just flabbergasted (in my mothers words). i don't know how you dealt with him for 15 years...I just can't imagine. My mother has no idea how lucky she is that our father had nothing to do with us. She describes him as one of the meanest people she ever met, but unlike you, she never had to deal with him after the divorce. It sucks that you have to be attached to this man for the rest of your lives, but I completly understand that you don't have much of a choice, and it may be best for your daughter.

curlsncuffs on 04/02/2004:
WOw - I feel for you! I've been there! I have an ex - and two small children at one time! Now, my children are 21 and 18 (almost) .....its hard. But, some advice. Your ex loves to do things that bother you now because, HE can't control you anymore. When your daughter leaves to go with him - tell her you love her - to have a good time with daddy - but, that you won't call her - but, that SHE can call you anytime DAY OR NIGHT...if she NEEDS you! This way - no hang ups for you! And, he will wonder why you are SILENT! It will eat him! And, when your daughter calls to say - oops, we are just eating will be late - just say okay - sweetie have a great dinner - tell dad that is fine! Act like its no big deal - the truth is - its not - the fact that he DOES bring her back is the BIG deal....I know its not the time you agreed on - but, remember he does it because he knows it bothers you! Don't let him know it does! He will love it! Smile, be sweet - say oh, that's fine no problem - glad you're having a good time! Will drive him crazy!

Once, my ex threatned to take my children - on the phone oneday he said - I will take them from you - I will go to their school and just take them! I said - "Steve", don't do that - let me pack their bags - give them their favorite toy and a kiss good-bye and you can come get them" he was SILENT _ Silent I tell you - he NEVER threatned to take them again! He didn't want them just wanted me to sqirm! I didn't! I was dying inside though....

newfbabe on 04/02/2004:
You sound like a woman with a strong backbone. Way to go. I am a daughter of divorced parents. They faught like cats and dogs and when I turned 16yrs old I called grandma and went to live with her. Couldn't stand to talk or see either of my parents. And to this day I still don't because nothing has changed in their lives for the positive. You keep calm and track everything and make sure everyone knows whats going on in your life. It will backfire on him bigtime. Keep strong.

kanga on 04/02/2004:
Oh what a way to have lived! i am so sorry for you and your daughter brighter days are surely ahead! Where is all his anger, after all he has a girlfriend what is he hanging on to get? Do you know? Anyway have a great weekend!

pinkuspettuty on 04/02/2004:
Whoa! I give you a lot of credit for keeping your weight the same during this incredibly difficult time!!!!! I really feel for you and your daughter! Everyone else's comments say it all!Keep taking care of yourself, Lisa. Pam

squiggly on 04/02/2004:
Your ex sounds cruel. Give him all the rope that he needs to hang himself. Does he think he's doing your daughter any good by not letting you talk to her? He is hurting her just as much if not more than you by doing that. I'll pray for your situation and remember things will get better. Good luck on the job and on the diet but I don't think you'll need it.

First of all, I wanted to say thanks to everyone who've left supportive entries in my diary lately. I seriously needed and drew strength from your words of encouragement. Things are going well at work (with my new job). I'm still in training...but I'm getting paid for it so that's cool. The kids and I have finally gotten into a nice routine in the mornings and I've been able to get them to their destinations and myself to work on time.

My ex has been so difficult lately. I was in tears the other day. He's nearly obsessed with controlling everything, especially me. It never ceases to amaze me how mean and cruel he can be and how he'll do things in front of our daughter that will make her cry. Then point and say, "Look what YOU have done!" It makes me crazy!

Sorry to go on and on about that...but I suppose I just needed to vent. It was very difficult going through all of those years of his abuse, his cheating, lying, and controlling me. Once I finally found the courage to walk away, he became more controlling than ever. I will just be glad when I have divorce papers in my hand. Once a final decree is issued, he will be forced to adhere to what it says and we'll have few reasons to have direct contact with one another. I dream of that day...

In any event, yesterday was a fairly good food day. I had a cereal bar and yogurt for breakfast, stir-fry for lunch, and bbq chicken with corn & salad for dinner. I have been good about taking my lunch to work opposed to going out to eat.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Lisa

feeleebubs on 03/30/2004:
I am so happy that you are out of that relationship. I can imagine exactally what kinf of person you ex is and you don't need that in your life. I hope you can get those divorce papers rolling smoothly and have your problems with him decrease signifigantly. Congrats on making it below 200 by the way. :D I missed that. Good for you!

newfbabe on 03/30/2004:
Your doing so wonderful dispite your problems. hang in and be strong. That ex of your sounds like a good restaining order might be called for because he sounds like he might pop anytime. They say that living well is the best revenge so you keep working on YOU . I am so envious that you made it under the 200lb mark :-}

kanga on 03/30/2004:
I hate it when children are used as the weapon against the opposing party sorry she has to go through that and you too! Where are you in the divorce precedings? I'm glad your able to keep yuour focus so well!

pinkuspettuty on 03/30/2004:
I have the same idea--if I bring my lunch to work I would eat better/less. It's hard tho' because I am cooking for everyone (and making lunches) all the time. Going out to lunch is my little way of getting someone else to take care of me....ya know? Have a great day. Pam

inmorning on 03/30/2004:
Don't worry about venting, I am experiencing troubles with a cruel ex as well. Just remember what I told you about not being weak. You need to do as well as possible in this divorce for the sake of the kids. For your sake, I hope he burns all bridges with the kids. You don't need someone like that butting in while you are raising the kids. At least that is just my opinion.

geevee on 03/30/2004:
You've already been through the most difficult part of a bad situation and were strong enough to do it! Congratulations! Making the break, I think, is the most difficult decision, so you're on the tail end of this. You can do it! and so far have! Keep it up!