Saturday, November 3, 2012

That's a bit hard to explain because my body and mind have not been doing the same things.
This is probably not that strange for some people, but I have put a lot of energy into being "present" in my life (especially in the last few years) and now when I am not...it sucks.

That doesn't mean I've been sitting in a dark room staring at a wall.

Sure, this has been a tough month; A ruptured tendon has really lowered the bar on what can be called a "successful surgery", but

My middle finger is definitely straighter than it was.I will never be able to bend the tip and, unless I have work done on my extensor tendons (the ones that straighten your fingers), the finger will never open/close.
At least my hand is back to what it was pre-franken thumb surgery

I spent a couple of days in Yosemite with my parents (no hantha virus outbreaks) and even got to hike the Panorama Trail.

And I went down to SoCal and watched the CAF San Diego Triathlon Challenge with my sister, saw my nephews play (soccer, robotics) and saw my niece (who just keeps getting smarter and smarter)

I'm still watching some great Stanford Volleyball (and enjoying seeing Kaitlin and her parents too)

And I have been able to put in a lot of hours on a presentation
for the recycled water treatment plant project (who would have guessed
that I'd finally love my laptops touchpad?).
But I still have not been myself.
I know it's probably more normal than abnormal to feel this way after so much has happened.
I've had some dark moments that have lasted a day or two, but I look at it like the weather - It will pass.
This latest funk has lingered and I think it's not just because so much has been taken from me, but more from the cycle of surgery/recovery/PT which has really ground me down.

The good news is that my doc told me that I can hold off on more procedures for as long as I need.
And I definitely need some time.

For now, I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with what I've got (like I was doing in the beginning).

And today Joel has set me a goal - the "Will Swim For Food" event Dec 15th in Santa Cruz.
Stay tuned.