Friday, June 5, 2009

I remember when I told my Dad some 22 years ago that Laura and I wanted to get married. Laura and I were High School sweethearts and it was no shock to our families that this day would inevitably come. My Father put his hand on my shoulder and said "Paul, the only advice I would give you is that, like me, you need to get better with your money. I wish I could advise you on this, but your Mom is the real expert on this subject. The woman has stolen 100's of thousands of dollars from me over the years!" I'll always remember Dad and that Norman Rockwell moment we shared!

8 years later life had thrown me a curve ball that took my business, my cars and left Laura and I $60,000.00 in debt. Uncle Paul was not only financially broke, he was emotionally broke too! And before I continue, why the hell is Uncle Paul talking about himself in the 3rd person? WTF???

I heard a series of things during that dark period that helped me not only rise from the ashes, but emerge a better human being. One of them . . . If you truly want to feel wealthy; GIVE!

Here are a few ways for you to give, right here, right now!

1) Turn your next sales meeting into something good by having everyone bring 1-2 cans of food. The local food banks are hurting right now and you will be doing a world of good. Send out an email to your team right now advising them to bring some canned goods. 2) Take a moment to listen to one of your co worker's who is having a difficult time. We all have a story to tell and want to be heard. The best part is, it costs you nothing!3) Take a moment to give someone a sincere compliment. Who the hell doesn't need to feel good about themselves these days. Doing so gives them their body armor to go out and fight the good fight!4) Donate your old clothes to charity. Especially those jeans from the 90's that you keep kidding yourself that you will fit into again.5) Try a random act of kindness such as picking up someone's tab anonymously, paying the toll for the car behind you etc.6) Send something inspirational to someone you know who needs a pick me up.7) We all have friends going through tough times right now. How about inviting them over for a nice dinner?8) Take a moment to think about your network and how you could play matchmaker to someone in need. Sometimes, all it takes is taking a moment to think about how you can help!9) Adapt a mindset of giving something back with every commission check you receive. Even if its only a dollar or two, they add up fast.10) Thank someone for helping you, mentoring you, coaching you. The gift of appreciation is a wonderful thing!

Here's another way that you can end this week with more mental bling than you know what to do with:

Take a positive inventory of the things you have! Put pen to paper right now and make a list of everything that you are grateful for. For example:

1) Its pretty cool starting the day alive and not in the middle of a dirt nap, right?2) Who loves ya and who do you love? I know, Uncle Paul loves ya, but who else?3) Can we be grateful for lessons learned? Damn right, amigo, write it down muy pronto!4) Are you able to give something to others? Sounds like something to be grateful for.5) Any moment that you are not recovering from a bad sexual episode is something to be grateful for too. Sorry but it needs to get mentioned!6) Do you have anyone in your life who has inspired you? Sounds like something for the list.

That should get you started in your positivity frenzy, but there is something that you need to be aware of that will strip you of your body armor every freakin time . . .

The "What Pisses Me Off Inventory"

This is when we simply can't allow one thing to piss us off, we have to think about everything else from the fact that someone looked at us the wrong way to the A Hole in the restroom talking on their cell. That isn't good enough because we need to keep telling everyone about it. Just out of curiosity, what do you think happens when you keep telling other people about the shit that irritates you? For starters you experience what experts refer to as "Reliving da shit" and even more importantly you piss someone else off you selfish bastard!

OK, so we covered a lot of ground today. Lots of things to think about. One more thing to think about.

This is a moment in time you will never get back. Enjoy it for what it is worth. It is a gift that we call the present.

11 comments:

One of my favorite blogs you have posted by far, Uncle Paul. Thank you for the insightful and reflective words of wisdom to round out the week. Finding the silver lining in all experiences, such as your story, is what life is all about. The quote on my whiteboard reads, "It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it". I think we can both agree that you reacted well.

Thank you Paul for reminding us to get caught up in the positive, not the negative. One of the things I am greatful for is finding LinkedIn and Finding this great group of folks on Sales Playbook.

I am starting over from scratch yet one more time and cannot tell you what an inspiration this group has been. Thanks to all of you for keeping me sane, making me laugh and most of all, providing constructive comments and ideas to help all of us be more successful!

My favorite quote "Love cures people. Both the ones that give and the ones that receive".

@gpitts I just came back from Phoenix and it the heat was a real bitch!

Becky I believe the best chapters in our success story are always ahead of us! You rock on with your bad self and kick some Memphis ass for Uncle Paul. Just don't do it too much because we compete against each other in that neck of the woods :)

And to mi amigo Hank Trisler I will offer a simple Love you too dude!

Thanks for changing my brand to dillweed! If Troy introduces me that way in Denver, I'm gonna lose it! :)

Thanks Paul. I always enjoy your posts but this one in particular hit home. It is easy to get caught up in our own little worlds and forget how good it feels to give to someone else. Keep the good thoughts coming!

Its amazing when you look around and take account of what is truly important or most valuable… money is not usually on the list. I thank my lovely wife regularly for being with me and making me laugh when we scrounged to make ends meet. I also thank her for reminding me where I come from (because you never know... you may have to go back).

I also find it amazing that when we do hit bottom (all of us have been there) those who we have helped… turn out to be those that help us.

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Paul Castain is the Vice President of Sales Development for Consolidated Graphics (CGX) one of North America’s leading general commercial printing companies. Paul has over 25 years of sales and sales leadership experience. He has trained, mentored and coached over 3,000 sales and sales leadership professionals. An accomplished public speaker, Paul has delivered numerous key note addresses. He has authored numerous training manuals, articles, blog posts and is currently working on his first book for release in 2011. Feel free to email Paul ctstrainer@yahoo.com.
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