Thursday, September 1, 2011

You’ve probably heard the exciting news about Lady M gracing the cover of the October issue of Essence. The only question in many people’s minds was “which nose would she be sporting?” Well the suspense is over: it’s nose # 3.1 – nearly the newest, although 3.2 is still in the beta mode.

Also on display, along with our famously toned guns will be all of the the other, ahem, “reimagined” enhancements: some real, some computer assisted.

New and improved since this PSA cover for AARP was shot

You may recall how disappointed we all were last December when the much anticipated Vogue cover shoot was cancelled. Well, now that we’ve made the big time, Lady M said that “Those people at Vogue can just go straight to hell!”

From the Essence article:

“My story to young people around this country and around the world is: Don’t look at me as the First Lady first; look at me as Michelle Obama, a girl who grew up on the South Side of Chicago. Because I was there, and this is attainable. There is no magic to this. It is hard work….”

Exactly! If you can get enough people working on HOPE and CHANGE for your husband’s campaign, the sky’s the limit!

In the article, “The Leading Lady,” she reflects on what she calls the “big, bright light” of her power as First Lady -- and she shares her mission to impart a critical message to young women: that where she is now is attainable with hard work.

At least I think she’s talking about the hard work on the campaign. It’s possible she’s referring to all of the personal “transformational” work she’s done herself.

She recounts her emotional trip to Africa, providing exclusive images for ESSENCE readers which document her various stops and what they meant to her personally.

Unfortunately, the Judicial Watch investigation into that trip may prove to be even more emotional than the trip itself.

With respect to the “black is beautiful” meme: excuse me, butt hasn’t Janet Jackson had more work done to erase her beautiful black features than anyone other than her dearly departed and peculiarly distorted brother?

We all remember how Beyonce teamed up with Lady M to dance away kids’ fat behinds to the tune of her “Get me Bodied” hit (With modified lyrics of course since the original are rather, uh, adult.) Really, could you find two better role models for young girls? They both embraced the American Dream in their own way. Of course Beyonce, not being as smart as Lady M, has to work a lot harder in order to have it all. Butt I’m sure she won’t mind having Big Guy and Lady M spread herwealth around – in order for them to live their American Dream.

Anyway there’s tons more reasons why Black is Beautiful, and most of them apply to Lady M so go check the rest out yourself. If you have absolutely nothing else to do.