It being noon on Valentine's Day, I was surprised to find the theater half full. The audience was made up of some couples, but mostly small groups of women. There were no groups of men.

If I may, let me just pause here to answer the question everyone asks if you tell them you are going to see this movie: No, I did not stop off at the hardware store on the way home.

I would also offer this advice to women who work in hardware stores. Don't get involved with a guy who comes in and buys rope, plastic ties and masking tape. If you date such a person you will not end up in a penthouse, you will end up in a trunk.

But back to the movie.

The plot of "Fifty Shades'' revolves around BSMD, which is an acronym for Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. BSMD is not, as I had once believed, a new BMW model, although the two do share an appreciation of fine leather.

The "Fifty Shades'' storyline revolves around a kinky billionaire named Christian Grey, and his relationship with a young woman named Anastasia Steele. She goes to interview him for her college newspaper and ends up with quite an exclusive.

While some men have a "man cave," Christian has a "Red Room," which is furnished from the Marquis de Sade collection. It has all sorts of whips, ropes, handcuffs, racks and tables. What it does not have is a flat screen TV or recliner, which gives you an idea of just how strange this guy is.

Early on in their relationship, Christian binds Anastasia's wrist with an expensive silk necktie and they make love. She seems to sort of enjoy it. I leaned over and asked my wife if she thought Anastasia might have liked it more if he had used a Boston Red Sox tie? She said she didn't think so.

The BSMD-ing becomes progressively more aggressive as the movie goes on. At one point it gets me thinking about that scene from "Animal House," where frat pledge Kevin Bacon is on all fours in his underwear being paddled and after each whack he says: "Thank you sir may I have another."

Anyway.

Walking out afterward, I notice the women looked rather energized, and the men didn't have the stunned demeanor you usually associate with guys who have been forced to endure a hard-core chick flick. On the contrary, they seemed to have a sense of urgency to their step.