Category Archives: Friendship and Relationship

‘For since there is jealousy and quarrelling among you, are you not worldly?’

(1 Corinthians 3:3)

These powerful words from the First Letter to the Corinthians remind us of a simple, profound truth: true oneness rules all things to peace; true oneness brings us into a harmony with each other and the world around us. Anger and jealousy are signs that our realisation of oneness is as yet incomplete. Moreover, being in oneness means being in justice, which Islamic tradition defines as the ability to put all things in their proper place. Anger and jealousy are signs that our particular community still needs work, especially in terms of sacred community, which seeks to move us beyond this world.

In Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians we read the following beautiful words:

‘Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple’.
(1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

I really love this passage. It speaks very deeply to me. In this passing moment, this is what these words say to me…

Our living humanity is sacred, a dwelling place for the Spirit of God. Each and every human being contains within themselves a sacred centre, an inner temple where the Source within lives. This is why our individual humanness is sacred in itself, and why we are called to defend it in this day and age.

But more than that, from our very beginnings we are a community, a human family. This is why our communions with take place in their deepest sense within sacred community. It is also why virtually all of the world’s spiritual traditions place such emphasis upon the development of conscious community. Individually and collectively, we are all God’s temple.

We can also see this notion at work in the opening chapter of the Quran, Surah al-Fatihah. This prayer has been compared to the Christian Paternoster, and is often recited by Muslims, on all sorts of occasions. This prayer asks God for mercy, guidance and divine companionship, and does so only within the context of a living community. ‘You alone do we worship, and from You alone do we seek aid’ (1:5); and ‘Guide us to the straight path’ (1:6). Here it is in full:

‘In the name of God, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.
All praise is due to God, Lord of the worldsThe Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful,Sovereign of the Day of Recompense.It is You we worship and You we ask for help.Guide us to the straight path -The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor,
not of those who have evoked [Your] anger or of those who are astray’.(Surah al-Fatihah 1:1-7)

Beloved Dost, Friend of All, help us to open ourselves to you, in both our unique individuality and our shared humanity.

‘The whole Path, all of the teachings of Shakyamuni Buddha, leads towards the understanding of our situation in the world, by which I mean understanding how we relate to others.

Especially knowing we have a great connection with each other, that in previous lives we have been very close to each other. We have experienced kindness from all other living beings, in so many ways – when others have been our parents, our husbands and wives, our teachers. They have looked after us so much. Each individual is merely part of the great universal family of sentient beings – living beings with minds.

In a recent post, we explored a beautiful tradition of the Prophet (as), in which he powerfully connected mercy with familial affection. Looking at this small event once again reveals another important aspect. For ease of reference, here is the hadith in question:

‘The Messenger of God kissed his grandson Hasan, the son of Ali, while Aqra` bin Habis al-Tamimi was sitting nearby. Aqra` said: ‘I have ten children and have not kissed any of them’. The Messenger of God looked at him and said: ‘He who does not show mercy shall not be shown mercy’.’

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Adab, no. 6063)

Our hadith opens by naming the Prophet’s relationship to Hasan (as): he kisses his grandson, the son of Ali. That is, his connection to his daughter’s child takes pride of place; it is the first thing mentioned in this tradition. He kisses his grandson in public because of his love for Hasan, and his pride in him. I find this deeply significant. We are being taught here to love our children and grandchildren because they come through us, and not because we own them. We are to glory in our children because they are both uniquely from us and other than us.

Aqra, by contrast, neither names any of his children, nor does he speak of his relationship to them: he merely describes them as though they were possessions (‘I have ten children…’). They appear in this hadith as mere appendages, rather than as fully fledged human beings in their own right.

So, what can we take from this? The way of Muhammad (as) is a way of mercy, tenderness and loving-kindness. Moreover, as the Quran makes clear, the only means to deepen in surrender to the divine (the root meaning of Islam) is to follow this way ourselves, in all our frail humanity:

‘Say, [O Muhammad], “If you should love Allah , then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.’ (3:31)

Mercy is given to all things generally. It is also given to all things individually, in their specific uniqueness.

Learning to ‘worship God as though we see Him’ also means learning to see others for what they are most essentially, as creations of a Single, Divine Source. If I see something I dislike in others, then He is teaching me something important about myself. If I see something I like, then it is because He is the Source of Beauty. If I see something I love, it is because He is the Loving One, the Source of Mercy.

Realising God’s absolute Oneness (or Tawhid in Arabic) is also about understanding, in a deep, experiential way, that the Source of All Being is Divine, and in striving to really see that in each new person, in each new moment.

God’s friends are hidden. Some are hidden within the heart of the invisible, like secret pearls and jewels. Some are even hidden from themselves. Some are hidden in plain sight, and because we ‘see’ them in our everyday lives, we fail to recognise them for the transformative gemstones they truly are.

Merciful God! Thank You for these hidden ones, these Close Ones of Yours. The more I open to Your Friends in gratitude, the more in awe I am of Your overwhelming, all-inclusive, ever-flowing grace.

If I were to sacrifice my soul, the soul is but a breath.
If I were to sacrifice my heart, the heart is but a desire.
If I sacrifice my property, that property is but straw.
What better things than these do I have access to?

Are you fleeing from Love because of a single humiliation?
What do you know of Love except the name?
Love has a hundred forms of pride and disdain,
and is gained by a hundred means of persuasion.
Since Love is loyal, it purchases one who is loyal:
it has no interest in a disloyal companion.
The human being resembles a tree;
your root is a covenant with God:
that root must be cherished with all one’s might.
A feeble covenant is a rotten root, without grace or fruit.
Though the boughs and leaves of the date palm are green,
greenness brings no benefit if the root is corrupt.
If a branch is without green leaves, yet has a good root,
a hundred leaves will put forth their hands in the end’

If a blow comes to you from Heaven,be alert to a gift of honour after it;for He is not the King to slap youwithout giving you a crownand a throne on which to rest.The whole world is worth only a gnat’s wing,but a single slap may bring an infinite reward.Slip your neck nimbly out of this golden collarthat is the world, and take the slaps that come from God.The prophets suffered those blows on the neck,and from that affliction they lifted their heads high.But always be present, attentive, and ready in yourself,youthful one, in order that He may find you at home.Otherwise He will take back His gift of honour,saying ‘I found no one there’.

He is with me, as I gaze out over these hills and valleys. He is with me as I stare in awe at the beauty of the night sky. He is with me, here in the deepest recesses of my heart, owner and shaper of every ‘I’ and ‘me’ and ‘mine’. He is with me, as my living humanity arrives in each new moment, His freely given gift to and in me.

He is with me in the depths of my soul, at the very roots of my unique individuality. He is with me there, in that space, as that which makes me most fundamentally what I am. He is with me, as I am with Him, whether ‘I’ am aware of it or not. He is with me as I walk the many roads of this world, standing here by my side, and also within the centre of my heart.

He is with me wheresoever I go and whatsoever I see, the Ever-Faithful Companion, the Ever-Loving Friend, the Solid Ground of All That Is

I wasn’t able to post yesterday’s reading from Ibn Ata’illah. So, here it is today.

Only the contemplation of His Attribute
can dislodge you from your attribute.

Hikam, 241

Humility is realising our weakness, our poverty, in the face of His strength, His infinite richness and profundity. We can, and should, strive to be humble, to realise our own human frailty, and yet this always seems to lead us back to Him, as if we were naught but a mirror to reflect His face. Understanding that every attribute I possess is, in deep reality, His is helpful and liberating. I experience it as a kind of folding, in which my poverty and His strength move and shift and dance, like waves in the ocean. Contemplating in this way is very beautiful.

He is with me, in each test and trial, in each thing as yet unfaced, in each truth as yet unreconciled. He is with me when I refuse, when I turn away, when I stumble and fall. He is with me in every self-made darkness, and in every unhelpful deed. He is with me, in silent witness, with every ache of this all too human heart. He is with me, when I offer life less than it deserves, and less than it has given me.

He is with me at the lowest ebb of my soul, as He is with me at its mightiest flood. He is the Water and Earth and Sunlight of my life, and the Living Air I breathe. Where can I go but to Him? Where can I wander but in Him?

Does happiness reflect in your facefrom the wine of the true religion?
Where is your generous hand
if you’ve beheld the Ocean of Abundance?
The one who sees the River
doesn’t grudge water to the thirsty,
especially the one who has beheld that Sea
and those mighty Clouds

Friendship is as precious as gold.
Why entrust it to one who will betray it?
Spend time near the One with whom your trusts
are safe from loss or violation.
Be close with the One who created human nature,
the One who nurtured the character of the prophets –
who if given a lamb, will give you back a whole flock of sheep.
Truly, the Sustainer cares for and increases every good quality.

With what work at you occupied,
and for what purpose are you purchased?
What sort of bird are you,
and with what digestive are you eaten?
Pass up this shop of hagglers
and seek the shop of Abundance where God is the purchaser [Quran 9:111].
There Compassion has bought
the shabby goods no one else would look at.
With that Purchaser no base coin is rejected,
for making a profit is not the point.

A man should never be so satisfied with what he does or accomplish it in such a way that he becomes so independent or overconfident in his works that his reason becomes idle or lulled to sleep. He ought always to lift himself up by the two powers of reason and will, and in this to grasp at what is best of all for him in the highest degree, and outwardly and inwardly to guard prudently against everything that could harm him. So in all things he will lack nothing, but he will grow constantly and mightily.

‘The mark of the friends of the mighty and glorious Lord is that their thought is concern for the Lord, their repose is with the Lord, and their occupation is in the Lord’
Bishr al-Hafi, quoted by Attar in The Memorial of the Saints

In our first readings the interconnected themes of devotion and obedience emerged very strongly. I’d like to offer a few thoughts on how these two themes might be connected, and to do that I’d like to start with a verse of the Quran. In Surah al-Baqara we find the following passage:

‘The Messenger has believed in what was revealed to him from his Lord, and [so have] the believers. All of them have believed in Allah and His angels and His books and His messengers, [saying], “We make no distinction between any of His messengers.” And they say, “We hear and we obey. [We seek] Your forgiveness, our Lord, and to You is the [final] destination’ (2:285)

In the opening sentence of this passage, we encounter the Prophet of God (alaihi al-salatu wa al-salam) and his complete openness before the Divine. His devotion and obedience to God had rendered his heart capable to accepting all that the Beloved chose to reveal therein. It also rendered him fully open to all the wisdom of the prophets of old (alaihim al-salam). The following saying of the Prophet (alaihi al-salatu wa al-salam) is important in this light:

‘Seek knowledge, for it is the intimate friend (khalil) of the believer. Moreover, forbearance is the minister of knowledge, intellect its guide, action its pivot, benevolent character its father, gentleness its brother, and patience is the general of its armies’ (Related by al-Hakim)

Elsewhere, the following saying is recorded:

‘Pursue knowledge even to China, for its pursuance is the sacred duty of every Muslim’ (Related by Ibn Abd al-Barr)

Although the outward details of their respective revelations differed, the same inner reality permeated all of them – a complete stillness in God’s presence. By referring to ‘the believers’ this verse also shows that this openness in God is not just the preserve of the prophets: we are all potentially capable of such a relationship, and devotion and obedience are the means of achieving it. Indeed, if the prophets represent the true spiritual potential of humanity, such openness is our human birthright.

Our verse then proceeds… ‘We make no distinction between any of His messengers’. To truly live in oneness, we must be open to whatever wisdom comes our way. We must be ready to make use of, to integrate, the collective spiritual wisdom of humankind. Moreover, though we can all be rightly proud of our respective traditions, insofar as they lead us out into His infinity, there is a sense here that the path to God requires us to be fully open. Furthermore, not only do we have to be open, we also have to rid ourselves of our common tendency to exclusivity, of saying ‘my way is better than his way’. Of course, to follow a tradition we need to believe in it as our way to God, but we also have to understand that God’s way is broader than our human minds can imagine. In other words, we have to be devoted to, and obedient to, God Himself.

The last section of this verse is particularly significant:

And they say, “We hear and we obey. [We seek] Your forgiveness, our Lord, and to You is the [final] destination’

This sentence categorises the true believers as those who say: ‘we hear and we obey’, or sami`na wa a`tana in Arabic. To truly hear the voice of God within the depths of our soul, we have to be present, we have to be fully there in each new moment. In other words, hearing implies a devoted listening, a patient waiting on God, for all that He might choose to reveal within our souls. Devoted listening is a form of obedience, and the more we obey, the more we engage in conscious relationship with the Divine. This verse concludes with a prayer for forgiveness. Devoted listening and active, human obedience to the Truth are means of asking for forgiveness. The more fully we enter into a relationship with God, the deeper we come to understand our human shortcomings. A Dervish is someone who waits at His door, in each new moment and circumstance. It is no accident, therefore, that today’s Evrad-i Serif passage contains this prayer:

More deeply, from the perspective of oneness, our prayers for forgiveness are given to us by the Divine. In other words, devoted listening and obedience are a kind of ‘virtuous circle’ in which an ever-increasing spiritual charge can be built up. And it is this charge that Meister Eckhart goes on to examine with such subtlety. True obedience is an emptying of our will in His, a forgoing of our sense of control in the Hand of His greater working:

‘In true obedience there should be no trace of ‘I want it so, or so,’ or ‘I want this or that,’ but there should be a pure going out from what is yours’

Although we should take all of our worries and anxieties to God, just as we should take all of our hopes and joys to Him, true and complete obedience is an emptying in Him, a complete giving-over of ourselves to Him. Those who are able to give themselves so completely to God are thus enabled to stand with the Prophet (alaihi al-salatu wa al-salam) and to say they have ‘believed in what was revealed to him from his Lord’

May the Beloved give us all the ability to turn to Him truly, in work and in rest, in need and in safety. Ya Rahman!

The main theme of our first Evrad-i Serif offering is, perhaps, devotion: devotion to God, as the Source of Peace and the Sustainer of All, is the essential first element in any spiritual growth. Within the Abrahamic family of faiths, this means striving to come into a close and loving relationship with the One Reality, with God. There is something deep within us that is only activated when we devote ourselves to that loving relationship. This is often expressed in terms of obedience (though it isn’t the only form by any means). It is, therefore, not surprising that in his first offering from the Counsels on Discernment Meister Eckhart explores the nature of true obedience.

Counsel 1: First, about true obedience

True and perfect obedience is a virtue above all virtues, and no work is so great that it can be achieved or done without this virtue; and however little and however humble a work may be, it is done to greater profit in true obedience, be it saying Mass, hearing it, praying, contemplating or whatever else you can think of. But take as humble a work as you like, whatever it may be, true obedience makes it finer and better for you. Obedience always produces the best of everything in everything. Truly, obedience never perturbs, never fails, whatever one is doing, in anything that comes from true obedience, for obedience neglects nothing that is good. Obedience need never be troubled, for it lacks no good thing.

When a man in obedience goes out of himself and renounces what he possesses, God must necessarily respond by going in there, for if anyone does not want something for himself, God must want it as if for Himself. If I deny my own will, putting it in the hands of my superior, and want nothing for myself, then God must want it for me, and if he fails me in this matter, he will be failing Himself. So in all things, when I do not want something for myself, God wants it for me. Now pay good heed. What is it that God wants for me that I do not want for myself? When I empty myself of self, He must necessarily want everything for me that He wants for Himself. And if He were not to do this, by that truth which is God, He would not be just, nor would he be the God that it is His nature to be.

In true obedience there should be no trace of ‘I want it so, or so,’ or ‘I want this or that,’ but there should be a pure going out from what is yours. And therefore in the best of all prayers that a man can pray, there should not be ‘Give me this virtue, or that way of life,’ but ‘Lord, give me nothing but what you will, and do, Lord, whatever and however you will in every way.’ That is superior to the first way of praying as the heavens are above the earth. And when one has concluded that prayer, one has prayed well, for then one has in true obedience wholly entered into God. And just as true obedience should have no ‘I want it so,’ so also one should not hear from obedience ‘I do not want,’ because ‘I do not want’ is a sure poison of all obedience. That is what Saint Augustine says: ‘God’s faithful servant has no desire for people to say or to give to him, or what he likes to hear or see, for his first and his greatest aim is to hear what is most pleasing to God’

In a recent post, we explored Rahma and its place within the conceptual universe of Islam. We saw that rahma can be thought of as embodied love, as love made manifest. The sayings of the Prophet (alaihi al-salatu wa al-salam) contain instructions on how to invoke God’s mercy, how to make Divine love tangible. Ibn Umar relates the following saying:

‘The All-Merciful (al-Rahman) – exalted be He – shall bestow His mercy (rahma) upon those who show mercy. Be merciful to those on earth and He who is in Heaven shall bestow His mercy upon you’ (al-Hakim)

Show loving-kindness to those on earth, and God will pour out His love upon you. Show love to those on earth, and they too shall reflect God’s own love back to us. A second hadith relates the following words (related by Abu Usama):

‘Indeed, God possesses an angel dedicated to those who supplicate by saying ‘O Most Merciful of the merciful (Arham al-Rahimin).’ To whomever repeats this three times in his supplication the angel says, ‘Indeed, the Most Merciful of the merciful is before you, therefore ask!’ (al-Hakim)

This phrase invokes God’s mercy in an intensive, superlative form. It is a reminder that God alone is the Source of all mercy, of all love. As this awareness begins to penetrate our inner beings, our hearts begin to reflect this quality of compassionate love. A’isha relates the following words of the Prophet (alaihi al-salatu wa al-salam):

‘Indeed, God the Exalted loves kindness in everything’ (al-Bukhari)

Hz. Ali relates a very similar statement:

‘Indeed, God is kind (rifqa) and He loves kindness: He accords to it that which can never be attained through the use of force’ (Ahmad ibn Hanbal)

The word tawaddud is derived from the same root as the Divine Name al-Wadud (the Ever-Loving). The more compassionate we are, the more love we generate, to the point where we can reflect God’s pure light. In a commentary on the first hadith cited above, we read these words:

‘Divine mercy (rahma) must radiate within man and be offered to others in the form of generosity, forbearance, and forgiveness’ (Spiritual Teachings of the Prophet, page 9)

Our hearts are transformed by His love into a pure mirror, as these words related by Anas ibn Malik make clear:

‘The Faithful (al-Mu’min) is the mirror of the faithful (al-Mu’min)’ (al-Tirmidhi)

May the Beloved Friend of All sweep the dust from the mirror of our hearts. May His cleansing love, His tender mercy, transform us.

Welcome

'Don't be more than others. So I urge my heart.
Go be a salve of kindness - make no one sting
If you would have no other do you harm
Bite no back - do no bad deed - keep no bad thought'

(Mevlana, Quatrain 993)

Wherever We Set Foot

'Wherever we set foot, it was Your street.
Whatever corner we turned, it was Your name in the air.
We said, ‘Surely there must be a road leading elsewhere?’
But every road we found, it led to You'
Isma`il Anqarawi

The Deeper That Sorrow Carves

'The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup
that was burned in the potter’s oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit
the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
(Khalil Gibran, The Prophet)

A Short Prayer

We give thanks for the light under which we gather. For our Pir, Hazrati Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi, and for the generations of seekers and guides that have come before us.

We pray for the health and well-being of everyone in this circle: our families, our children, our children's children, our friends, our
communities, and our world.

And we mention at this time anyone in need of healing. And may the light of this circle be received wherever it's needed.

By the breath of Mevlana, by the secret of Shamsi Tabriz, by the noble
generosity of Imam Ali, and with the blessings of Muhammad Mustafa, (our unlettered Prophet), let us say Huuuu. . . .

O Lord, Give Me Strength…

O Lord, give me strength to walk on the road of Unity.
Give me a yearning for the secret place of freedom.
Grant me an affection for the mystery of Truth.
Grant me freedom from the bondage of imitation.

Fayz Fayyazi

The Golden Words of Haci Bektas Veli

* Keep on searching, you’ll find the truth.
* Be patient in your spiritual quest.
* Whatever you seek, look within.
* Control your tongue, your hands and your sexual behavior.
* Being a teacher is to give, not to take.
* The greatest book to read is the human being.
* The universe is for man, and man for the universe.
* Any road that doesn’t follow science, ends in darkness.
* Science illuminates the paths of truth.
* Blessed are those who illuminate the darkness by their thoughts and ideas.
* Don’t hurt anyone, even though you’ve been hurt.
* Don’t ask anyone for anything that would be difficult for you to do.
* Don’t blame any nation or individual.
* The beauty of human beings is the beauty of their words.
* Don’t forget that even your enemy is human.
* Educate your daughters.

The First of All Commandments

‘And Jesus answered him, ‘The first of all commandments is, hear O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord; And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and all thy soul, and with all thy understanding, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second commandment is like, namely this, thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is no other commandment greater than these’ (Mark 12:29-31)

That’s Why I Came

Let's say it with just one breath:
How can we ever say it more plain?
Let's dive into the ocean of love.
To dive into that ocean,
that's why I came.

Shah Hatayi

There You Are, by Asik Veysel

I hide Your beauty in my eye;
Whatever I look at,
There You are.

I hide Your presence in my heart;
How could a stranger live there?
There You are.

You are my foundation and my all;
My intimate one and the word on my tongue;
You bring the greeting from my darling one;
Within that greeting,
There You are.

All the blossoms and tender leaves
They hide their beauty in reds and greens
In night’s darkness and the dawn’s first beams.
As each one awakens,
There You are.

You are the one who made creation,
who gave life and strength to every being.
There is no ending except for You
I believe and accept what I am seeing:
There You are.

The flute moans ‘Huuu’ in ecstasy
The waves are roaring, the seas are rushing,
The sun appears to veil the stars
In its rays’ vast shining,
There You are.

You are the one who makes Veysel speak;
You are the tree and I am your leaf.
The unconscious fly right by what they seek.
In both the fruit and seed,
There You are.

Whoever Is Our Enemy

Whoever is our enemy,
May Allah him give great gain!
May he be given clemency!
May he all his goals attain!
Whoever’s tossed us in a pit,
May God protect forever!
Who tosses stones at us to hit,
May might embrace his endeavor!
Whoever’s prayed for us to die,
May eternal life suffice!
Whoever’s said in hell we’d fry,
May his abode be Paradise!
Whoever slanders us with words,
May the Prophet intercede!
Whoever defames Kaygusuz,
May vision of God be guaranteed!

‎'The sum total of our life is a breath spent in the company of the Beloved' Abu Sa`id ibn Abi al-Khayr

Rejoice, O Love!

'Rejoice, O Love, that is our sweetest passion,
physician of our many illnesses!
Relief from our pomposity and boasting,
O You who are our Plato and our Galen!
For Love the earthly body soared to heaven,
the mountain tool to dancing and to skipping.
When Love approached Mount Sinai's soul, O lover,
Sinai was drunk and 'Moses fell aswoon'
(Masnavi 1. 23-26)

The Mevlevi Rose Prayer

May this moment be blessed. May goodness be opened and may evil be dispelled. May our humble plea be accepted in the Court of Honour; May the Most Glorious God purify and fill our hearts with the Light of His Greatest Name. May the hearts of the lovers be opened. By the breath of our master Mevlana, by the secret of Shams and Weled, by the holy light of Muhammad, by the generosity of Imam Ali, and the intercession of Muhammad, the unlettered prophet, mercy to all the worlds. May we say Hu, Huuu…
.