in a state of continuous evolution

QaF2 is about homophobia and saying, "Fuck it. I've had enough." About Vince telling Stuart that Alexander's father is dying and Stuart saying, "Good." It's about that feeling that I had back in 2004, when eleven fucking states passed measures to 'protect' straight marriage -- that fuck you, you assholes, fuck you all feeling (I can remember wanting to throw up). Not what I'm feeling today, right now, not with California doing something right. But I still feel it sometimes.

Sometimes, I am so tired of being queer and living in this world. Sometimes, I am so tired of being a woman and living in this world. Sometimes, I am so tired of being a person and living in this fucking world.

One man. One woman. I still see it on cars. People saying that fewer than ten gay characters over the course of fifty episodes of television is 'overdoing' it. The way women get discarded or mistreated in too many places and in too many ways to name. Michelle Obama getting called Barack Obama's "baby mama" by Fox News (or the button bullshit that was done at the Texas GOP Convention). This world can be so depressing sometimes.

Sometimes.

And sometimes there are moments when the light seems a little brighter, because this time another person or group of people was willing to admit that everyone counts as a complete person with all the rights and privileges and respect that should bring. That's what California is doing right now -- making the light just a little bit brighter so that we can all see a little bit better.

His loneliness eats away at him, wears away at him, every moment of every day. Every second that his mind reaches out and he's the only one left. There's this silence, this gaping aching hole that was created when his people died. In the Confidential for Aliens in London (entitled I Get A Sidekick Out Of You), Christopher Eccleston says this: "The notion is that the Doctor's lonely and Rose is bored. He loses some of his loneliness and she loses all of her boredom, when they meet."

Rose is human. She can't fill that empty space in his head where the Time Lords used to be. But she can hold his hand and smile at him and things can be better than they were before he met her. That's enough for both of them, that she helps. One of the things that series one and two put a lot of focus on is what an empathetic character Rose is -- "These people are dying and Rose would care," the Doctor says in New Earth, knowing for certain that something is wrong with Cassandra-Rose (that something's been done to her) because she only worries about whether or not she'll get hurt. From Raffalo and Gwyneth to Chloe and Trish, Rose notices people, notices when things are wrong, and she cares.

She notices that the Doctor's hurting and offers her company. Knowing that she can't make up for the loss of his people, but willing to give what she can to help him. The Doctor is a soldier after a war, one that lost everything. Nothing can ever make that all better. But life can be made endurable, even joyous. Rose did that for him -- made him smile and flirt and care. He looked at her and saw someone that made the universe beautiful and vivid and alive again. And, as they say, that's not nothing.

1. On the Way Home -- Real LifeSo, every night when I drive home from work, I pass a church. Said church has one of those outside billboard things that changes regularly. Recently, it has been saying 'few people have ever repented of silence'.

This strikes me as a horribly short-sighted thing to say. There are many occasions when silence is the wrong response. If something immoral/unethical/illegal is going on, it is wrong to stay silent about it. I mean, hello, 'all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing'.

I mean, they probably don't mean "don't rock the boat" there, but that's still how it sounds to me every time that I read it.

2. Straight Bar -- Queer as Folk (UK)There is a moment of perfect music on QaF (UK). Well, more than one, but this one is priceless. So, Vince goes to a straight bar and it is his first time in a straight bar. And the song that is playing? Game of Love.

I will quote the relevant lyric for you: The purpose of a man is to love a woman and the purpose of a woman is to love a man.

How perfect is that? Vince is in the straight bar, everyone assumes that he's straight, too, because he's in the closet at work, and, of course, as the song reminds us -- the natural assumption is that he's straight. Because that's 'normal' and that's, well, the way it is. The purpose of a man is to love a woman. And Vince's presence there reminds us that the song is complete bullshit.

For me, the fascinating thing about vidding is that it's meta, basically (except for constructed realities, of course). You use what the show gives you and you construct an argument.

Ex. #1: Angel=GAY!!!You say, watching Angel, "Dude, Angel's kinda gay." And if you are sisabet and sockkpuppett, you then come up with Whatever, which takes that argument and backs it up with visual evidence from the show. And then people are very amused.

Ex. #2: Jack - Daniel = sadnessYou say, watching Stargate SG-1, "Dude, Daniel's death didn't really help Jack's state of mind." And if you are barkley, you then create Pretty Angry, where we can see for ourselves that Jack is indeed not so cheery and that Daniel's lack of a sense of self-preservation may have contributed just a bit.

Ex. #3: Stuart + (Vince + Cameron) = Stuart - VinceYou say, watching Queer as Folk, "Dude, Stuart is so very in love with Vince." And if you are me, you then make Someone Else's Prayer.

Summary:Vince isn't the only person here who wants what he can't have.(mpg file; 47.9MB; zippedavailable as a smaller wmv file herecomment to have the link renewed)

What I'd give right now not to even careAnd then this could be someone else's prayer

In other news, the Narnia trailer takes my breath away. Just... the pretty. That is one seriously shiny trailer. It's a good year to be of the fannish inclination -- there's a Big Damn Movie in September, and now this in December, and I'm looking forward to Harry Potter and the Missing Comma as well. Plus, I'm very much anticipating the third part of The Siege (Stargate Atlantis) and the ninth season of SG-1, both in July.

So, vamplover84 asked me to write an overview of QaF for the crack_van. I was thrilled to be asked and spent the last week or so writing it. And now, she's posted it.

Why You Should Watch This Show:Far from being an excuse for gay porn, Queer as Folk is a finely-drawn character drama that centers around two men, their friendship, and the boy who changes everything. The dialogue sparkles with wit and subtlety, and the key relationship between the two leads is unarticulated love at its finest.

Thought about doing the 'ten things' meme, but I have a hard time remembering stuff like that. I got to fly a two-seater plane once when I was around 16 (left me with an intense adoration for the control of flying, though I've never pursued it -- may be part of why Jack O'Neill is so appealing, though). I've had a rhino brush up against a car I was in; it almost took off the right-side rear-view mirror. I've hand-fed a Sumatran Orangutan and handled a Burmese python multiple times. I saw Stephen Hawking live. Brilliant -- he was treated like a rock star.

In light of recent discussions on authorial intent, I'd like to make one thing clear -- I think that, especially in the case of television, it only goes so far. Because the writer is not responsible for everything that we see. There are tons of other people involved in the process, not the least of which are the actors themselves. Russell mentions that Aidan brought a 'thoughtful' quality to Stuart that he hadn't planned for. That's the sort of the thing that happens. That's why the Jack/Sam intent of Stargate SG-1 doesn't matter all that much to me -- the actors do not have romantic chemistry. All the writing in the world can't force something that isn't there and when the writers try, I roll my eyes. Actors brings something of themselves to a role and they end up changing it because of that. That's why Michael's Daniel had to evolve over the years -- Daniel's heart comes from Michael in the series.

So, I'm currently in love with killabeez's QaFUK vid to Little Brother. And I'm watching it for the nth time and... in the stuff from series two (which I haven't seen yet) Vince looks just like Ewan McGregor. Bizarre, yet sexy. Seriously. Especially in the one where Stuart is kissing that other guy and then the camera focuses on Vince in the background, watching nervously.

Stuart, of course, never looks like anyone but himself. He's unique and quite lovely, he'd tell you so himself.

In any show that I desperately adore, I must have a relationship to love as both a friendship and something else. Friendship with the edge of the physical. It can be nice to have that friendship actually transition to a relationship, but I don't need it -- witness my still pure devotion to Buffy and Xander. I adored their tumultuous friendship as much as I could have any love affair.

But, on occasion, it's nice to have that relationship consummated, as it was in Dawson's Creek. Which was utter teen soap, but, in the end and after much frustration, it was satisfying teen soap. Joey and Pacey had the perfect infuriating love. They were so good for each other, but they had to work through the poison of their respective relationships with Dawson and the ending made me very happy, thank you.

Before that, I adored Lois and Clark in The New Adventures of Superman.

And QaFUK... I just adore it. The fact that the ending was left wide open, but that love (consummated or not) between Vince and Stuart isn't in question. Whatever they do, they'll be together, whether it be as friends or something else.

That's the same sort of strength that I see in Daniel and Jack's relationship. In Buffy and Xander's. Benton Fraser and Ray Kowalski's. They can piss each other off more than anyone else in the world, but they always have each other's back.

I've just been wishing that I had the show on DVD instead of video, because I can't cap video. And I just remember that I did actually plan on getting it on DVD, only I accidentally order VHS and didn't find out until it arrived. Total shock.

So no personally grabbed V/S icons for me. I might eventually get it on DVD as well. When I finally get the last bit (Series two), I'll get it on DVD for sure.

Anyway, went through my email messages. So that's done. Still haven't finished going back through LJ. God, it's going to take forever.

I saw 8 Mile. With my dad. It was great. Great movie. He did a marvelous job. Rabbit!

Ooo! Love this bit:Nathan: "Do you love him though? Do you love Alfred?"Stuart turns away.Nathan: "Cause you don't say it. You can't say it, can you? Look at you, you can't! Do you love Vince?"Stuart: "All right, Nathan, fuck off."