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Thursday, April 3, 2008

Take Her to the Paint

Most of y'all have read or heard that Mr. "O"-tastic is not going to be trying out for the Professional Bowling Association any time soon.

Seems Loverboy bowled a 37 the other day on the campaign trail and it caused rolling waves of mirth to cascade across the mainstream media. Now, I think the whole ordeal was overplayed, but a 37 is pretty piss poor. I mean, homey might want to consider bumper bowling next time if he doesn't want to get embarrassed.

However, as has been her habit, Hillary Clinton couldn't allow Obama to have a bad moment without trying to jump on his neck with both feet. Seems she had an April Fool's press conference where she openly challenged Obama to a bowling match for the Democratic nomination. The Cackler tried to pretend it was one big joke, but considering some of her campaign's previous suggestions (electoral votes, usurping pledged delegates) it actually was pretty believable.

Now, if the Queen of the Race Card had stopped there I really wouldn't have a blog post. But, y'all know Hillary showing restraint is about as likely as OJ getting a family sitcom. She followed up her "challenge" by telling the press corps all about her love for bowling and everything that goes along with it. Peep the discourse here.

Seems Clinton agreed with a reporter that it showed amazing "guts" on her part to challenge Obama to a bowling match even though she hasn't bowled since she visited Camp David regularly. (Yeah, it's got bowling lanes) She then played the victim when it was noted that Obama had challenged her to a basketball game, although she later admitted that she had played basketball back in the day when women couldn't cross half-court and niggers sat on the side. (I made that last part up.)

Ignoring the way Clinton is trying to brand Obama as an effeminate wienie, I want to focus on her idea that having a bowling match would be more fair than a basketball match. I mean, she admits to owning bowling paraphernalia and once having had access to a private lanes. Doesn't she see that as an advantage or do advantages only count when they are wielded by Obama. Don't bother answering that question.

Personally, I think Obama should propose another basketball game, spot Hillary seven points going to 12, and then punish her. I mean he could use the game as a metaphor for his life in America, considering the fact that as a black man he is already spotting white women some buckets in the game of life.

Screw the people who would see him as a bully, Obama should take Hillary on the block and roughhouse her ass. Start throwing some elbows, hitting her with some drop-steps. No pansy ass fadeaways or finesse sky hooks, I'm talking about unleashing some prison ball on her ass. That would teach her to open her mouth about whether he's "tough" enough on anything.

[T]he Negro is a sort of seventh son, born with a veil, and gifted with second-sight in this American world,—a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.