Dear Abby Pauline & Jeanne Phillips

DEAR ABBY PAULINE & JEANNE PHILLIPS

July 6, 2002|DEAR ABBY PAULINE & JEANNE PHILLIPS

Dear Abby: My husband, "Dennis," has been having an affair for many years. He filed for divorce and moved out of the house for several months. I made the divorce negotiations so difficult, he gave up and moved back home.

I know Dennis continues to see his girlfriend every day. I put up with it because I still love him after 40 years of marriage.

Do you think I am a fool to continue in this relationship when I know he no longer loves me? -- Unhappy in Oklahoma

Dear Unhappy: Only you can answer that. If you're staying in the marriage for financial security -- and financial security is the most important thing to you -- I'd say you are being pragmatic. On the other hand, if you're hoping he'll give up his longtime girlfriend one day and love you again, it could be a long wait.

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I plan to marry in a year or so. Because my mother is very controlling, we intend to move far away from her. She tries to control my every move. If I don't get her permission to take a shower, she goes crazy and yells at me for hours.

Abby, I don't want the same thing to happen to me. What should I do when she asks for my phone number? I don't want to give it to her. -- Adult Daughter in the Southwest

Dear Adult Daughter: Your mother clearly has emotional problems and should be evaluated by a doctor. Although it may seem tempting to run away and leave your unhappy past behind, an alternative might be to add a call-screening feature to your phone.

Dear Abby: Our 14-year-old daughter has a close friend, "Jen," whose mother is single. She's a nice lady but has had at least two live-in boyfriends within the last year that we know of.

Our daughter has been invited countless times to sleep over at Jen's house, but I feel it isn't the kind of atmosphere I want our teenager exposed to. As long as Jen's mom is living with a guy, I have a real problem with this.

I can't come up with a delicate way to explain my feelings without offending Jen's mom. -- Frustrated Mom

Dear Mom: If you prefer that your daughter not spend the night in a home with an unmarried couple, say exactly that to all concerned. You're entitled to your moral convictions and you owe no one an apology.