Modern Seinfeld Twitter account pitches episodes for the Facebook age

What's the deal with texting? Are you being sarcastic? Are you mad at me? Are you typing this while on the toilet? I don't wanna be a meme! Did you ever stop to think about how incredibly perfect Seinfeld would be in today's social media-crazed world? Thanks to the newly formed Modern Seinfeld Twitter account, you can get a 140-character (or less) idea at what a current episode of the "Show About Nothing" would cover. And when you consider all the "nothing" we do all day and how much awkward human behavior it causes, Seinfeld could probably find enough material to last twenty years. (via Twitter)

George thinks his new girlfriend is cheating on him, he tweets her a nasty message, Kramer helps steal her purse to delete if from her phone feed. Kramer is arrested, George doesn’t realize tweets are seen by others who follow her, they all retweet it.
Third act, Girl wasn’t cheating after all she loaned special sweater George gave her to her roommate who wore it on a date. Girl dumps George for his rude tweet. Twist? George’s Girl WAS cheating, just not with the guy that he saw! How do we know? She sends a twit Pic to everyone!

George becomes “Mayor” of the coffee shop, until he loses it to someone else, who isn’t really going ot the coffee shop. George sets a trap to catch him NOT showing up to the coffee shop. Turns out that the “Mayor” is paraplegic who can’t leave his home and uses “Check in” to remind him of when he could walk.
Twist? George’s fuss leads to a story in the paper about how churlish George was about being Mayor and him threatening a paraplegic to get back his Mayor status. Story retweeted around the world. George gets hate tweets from Disability activists.

Jerry opens a twitter account, fails to win many followers, tweets “Follow me on twitter”, realizes irony. Kramer has cold cuts in his pants, bread in some garment that went to the dry-cleaners. Did the staff eat his bread, or did it go into the machine? Jerry performs underwhelming standup in a lamentable tight jean/dress shirt combo. Porno slap bass.