“The Government is focused on boosting economic growth and job creation — innovation, investment, education and skills. Economic Action Plan 2012 will support jobs and growth by “— HEY, LOOK! THE PENNY! This is what’s known as a distraction tactic; inserting an element, in this case the elimination of the penny, to take some focus away from other things.

Oddly, the helpful graphic that explains the concept of “rounding,” illustrating the purchase of a coffee, quite clearly shows a Starbucks-style beverage. And here we thought this government had won a majority by appealing to the Tim Hortons crowd.

Shop ‘Til You Drop

The budget proposes to raise the limit on the value of goods that can be imported tax-free after visiting the U.S. for more than 24 hours from $50 to $200. For more than 48 hours, the limit would go from $400 to $800. This measure is intended to ease congestion at border crossings and also sharply reduce the amount of lying that takes place there.

[np-related]

An isotope in every pot

The budget will direct an additional $17-million over two years to Natural Resources Canada “to further advance the development of alternatives to existing isotope production technologies and help secure the supply of medical isotopes for Canadians.” Also, Linda Keen? Still fired.

Old school

Mr. Flaherty’s budget speech quoted Sir George Foster, Sir John A. Macdonald’s finance minister, who seems like a man of rhetorical flourish. “There is especial need for long vision and the fine courage of statesmanship, and the warm fires of national imagination …. We should not be thinking overmuch of what we are now, but more of what we may be 50 or 100 years hence.” Especial? Overmuch? Apparently you were just allowed to make up words in the 1800s.

Notably absent

Previous Conservative budgets have been sprinkled with boutique measures meant to appeal to the broad family demographic. Children’s Fitness Tax Credits, Children’s Arts Tax Credits, Home Renovation Tax Credits, even credits for tools and transit passes.

The 2012 is bereft of such things — many were promised, and post-dated, in the last election campaign — which left its makers cramming items such as food safety and “support for employers of Canada’s reservists” under the Support for Families and Communities heading. Because, presumably, they didn’t want to leave it blank.

Yay, us!

“Important commemorations for the 200th anniversary of the War of 1812 will boost tourism and allow Canadians to celebrate their history.” History such as a war WHICH WE WON. (Furrows brow, looks at Americans.) WE WON.

Belt loosening

Much has been said in recent months about how the lavish pensions of MPs — who qualify for generous annual payouts after only six years in office — would be trimmed to show that Parliamentarians would be expected to contribute to austerity plans. Says the budget: “Adjustments to the pension plan of Parliamentarians will take effect in the next Parliament.”

So, sometime after 2015. Excellent news for MPs presently approaching the six-year mark, which includes a pile of Tories first elected in 2006. A happy coincidence, surely.

Payback?

Among the departments with significant reductions in planned spending is Canadian Heritage. The CBC, National Film Board and Telefilm Canada will all see their budgets whacked, which if nothing else will give ammunition to those who would like to frame Tory cuts as ideologically driven. (The National Battlefield Commission is also being dinged, which somewhat hampers the narrative.)

A bridge to somewhere

The budget reaffirms a federal commitment to replace the Champlain Bridge, which crosses the St. Lawrence River in Montreal, with a new bridge. This is otherwise known as settling that thing that kept coming up during the election debates that no one outside of Quebec understood.

Details, details

Budgets manage to show the breadth of the federal government by referencing some of the many things that, incredibly, it is responsible for. For example: “VIA Rail Canada will pursue productivity improvements such as augmenting the performance of the heating, ventilation and air conditioning systems on board trains.” No longer will your tax dollars support subpar train cooling!

They like us!

Among the budget’s collected quotes: “In the last few years, Canada has got every decision right.” The speaker: David Cameron, British Prime Minister. It is unknown if Stephen Harper provided a similar testimonial for the U.K. budgets.

What now?

Budget 2012 is 498 pages. We didn’t read them all, but are pretty sure this is the nerdiest line in the thing: “It is projected that the net annual refixing share of debt, which measures the proportion of all interest-bearing debt net of financial assets that matures or needs to be repriced within one year, will fluctuate between 33% and 36% over the coming decade.” Oh.

Glass ceilings

The budget “announces the creation of an advisory council of leaders from the private and public sectors to promote the participation of women on corporate boards.” Except for Helena Guergis.

All in the title

We’re not sure when, exactly, but the government has clearly ceased calling its budgets actual “budgets.” Last year’s was called “The Next Phase of Canada’s Economic Action Plan: A Low-Tax Plan for Jobs and Growth.” This year’s is “Economic Action Plan 2012: Jobs, Growth and Prosperity.”

Is the Economic Action Plan a perpetual thing now? Will it ever cease? What if the economy no longer requires an Action Plan? Can it just go back to being Budget 2016 or whatever? Say this for the Tories: they seem unconcerned with the efficiency of words.

Almost Done!

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