Thursday, May 2, 2013

Productivity: For What Purpose?

I have been lately pushing myself to
improve my productivity and getting frustrated with lack of progress on certain
projects, and in general in my goals. Today while praying / meditating about
it, I had a sudden thought – what is my
purpose behind this desire for productivity?

And the answer came crystal clear – I want
to show off. I want to see quick results in my weight loss so I can look good,
post photos of myself on Facebook. I want to get more projects, a better title,
so I can update my networking profiles and show off my success. And so it went
on with all my goals. The clear pattern that was emerging was ego. I was thinking from my ego, my
lesser self, what would make me look good.

And I asked myself, if I thought from my
higher self, how would that be different? And I realised instead of obvious
weight loss, I would like to feel healthier, have more energy, eat better, and
see my health markers improve. I would like to be able to exercise joyfully
with nothing hurting. I would like to create work that had an impact, that made
a difference to someone. Sure, I still wanted to get more done, but the purpose
became different – I wanted to do more, so I can create more value. And I wanted
to be healthier so I have the energy to do more, and therefore create even more value.

Perhaps the subtle change in motivation won't
make any difference, but more likely it will. I already feel a spring in my
step, I feel I have a better reason to push myself. And paradoxically, I also don’t
seem to be as harsh with myself as when I was working from ego – the shift in
consciousness makes me feel that a slightly imperfect outcome is fine if it
still creates value. The biggest change for me is in my current project – a book
project I'm working on. I was feeling stuck and operating from fear because I wanted
to write something brilliant, something with technical genius. And that
objective of course gave me writer’s block, and I couldn’t progress.

Changing my objective to writing something that
would touch a chord emotionally, something that would inspire readers, even in
a small way, gave me permission to write simply, but from the heart. And that
is really more up my alley. Don’t get me wrong, I'm still nervous. Because I have
always believed that striving for brilliance is important, otherwise I would
just slacken and do what’s easy. But perhaps maybe changing definitions – of what
is difficult, what is easy - is in order. It may be even harder to focus on
creating something that is emotionally honest, rather than technically
flawless. It may be harder to put aside one’s ego, one’s need to shine, to
think about what might be more likely to bring gratitude rather than accolades.

So next time you’re worrying about getting things
done, ask yourself: what is the purpose of
completing these tasks, and am I coming from my lesser or greater self?