Eyes Of My Uncle

Here’s a story that opened my eyes to God, a story between me and a friend of mine who’s name I will not address publicly.

This friend is one of my longest online friendships I have, and in some ways she is one of the oldest friends I still have outside of the internet too.

At the end of Febuary 2012, I lost access to Instagram for two months. This was my only way of communication with her.

After those two months, I came back and noticed she hadn’t been active for 3 weeks.
Many of her recent posts, when adding them up together, were pretty alarming.
It was another one of my friends I was talking to then who suggested could this mean she did something to herself?

That was the first time ever that I started understanding these things about self harm, about suicide.
I was just in shock of course, and I’m so glad I had my Me2 support helper Kris to comfort me.
(Me2 is an organisation of volunteers being personal helpers to anyone with special needs to socialise and do activities they wouldn’t otherwise do)

Kris asked me do I know anyone who personally knew her?
I didn’t but after that I just was determined to attract attention on Instagram, hoping it’d reach someone close to her.

I found this all out on the Monday,
Monday night I was just crying and wanted to but had no point looking out of my window as it was raining.

On Tuesday when I went to club and meet with Kris, on the way and in club,
there was this one star that I couldn’t take my eyes off of.
It wouldn’t leave me either.
Tuesday night, it was starry and I gazed at the stars for hours.

There was this one star I couldn’t ignore
It was shining the brightest and I saw green eyes through it.
Wednesday night, it was the same, but a lot stronger.
I swear it was the exact same star, I knew it was. I saw those green eyes again.
I thought it was my friend.

I went to sleep and I dreamt she came down and just hugged me tight and would not leave, would not let go the whole night.
She wanted to say she was alright.

Thursday, I went to my club I used to go on Thursdays.
It was tough being in club then. I didn’t have Kris like on Tuesdays. Someone in club told me that they’re sure I will go home and something will happen.

I got home, and they were right, big events then took place.
One of her best friends found my account and said she is alright, and so is her sister.
I didn’t realise she had a sister.

Her sister again said that she’s alright, she just gave Instagram a rest.
She got me talking to her again, through email.
She sent me a picture holding a piece of paper with my name. I was in tears from that.

She just got upset so much that I disappeared, I remember she said she thought I didn’t want anything to do with her and she was of course just so touched seeing how much I really did care.

Here is the reason why this story has a big meaning and why it opened my eyes to God.

Those green eyes I saw in that star which wouldn’t leave me alone.
They were not the eyes of my friend. They were the eyes of my Uncle Jeff.
Uncle Jeff died as a baby, before my mum was even born. So it’s not like I ever got to know him.

He’s been the one there all throughout our lives watching over us, but it’s always been my mum that Jeff showed himself to. That was the first time he showed himself to me.

Out of any point in my life where I was at my worst,
it was then, and he was there for me.

That is what opened my eyes to God, that there is life beyond this world, that death as we know it is meaningless to the light of Jesus we hold and the love of God. It was certainly thank you to Jeff.

Being shown my Uncle Jeff eye to eye in the time I needed it the most, it’s just impossible for me questioning if God exists, and if I really believe in him.
I’ve questioned God if he’s there and when I questioned him the first time, he answered by showing me Jeff.
My friend, being the reason I met Uncle Jeff, it’s because of that that she’s one friendship that I cannot let go of.

Horrible events always have a reason, and all I can say is, that reason was to open my eyes.
I never totally didn’t believe, but I sure didn’t know what to believe. It took that to actually believe.

Everything is a lesson, and no matter how life is, how many plans and dreams go wrong, how much things change for what seems the worse or better, God is Good.

Just ask him to show himself to you. We all are trying to hold on, and God will answer if you listen. He will always answer you, no matter who you are, where you are, or what mistakes you’ve done.

You don’t need to meet him for the first time when it’s your time. Just listen, he will show you he is there.

Want to know his number? Want to know how to listen?

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened

In the UK, Samaritans can be contacted on"116 123"
In Australia, Lifeline can be contacted on"13 11 14"
In the US, the suicide prevention lifeline is"1-800-273-8255"
Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org.