I know it's fetish.com but

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Deleted Member

Deleted Member

doesn't anyone else find it unsatisfying that (especially when it comes to online) that everything revolves around sex?

like everyone has a profile which is basically a tick list of what they want sexually and don't have anything to offer apart from sex?

it's be great to have someone into the same fetishes obviously, as that'd make you more compatible, but why isn't anyone offering anything else?

9

Elliemay

Elliemay

8 posts

Posted February 19

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. It's nice to just chat sometimes but not many want to do that. x

5

BrokenDoll82

BrokenDoll82

8 posts

Posted February 19

My profile is pretty much not about sex especially my what do I want to do? Updates. I am all about snuggles and feelings usually. Also I explain the significance of my profile picture which isn't sexual to me but a very positive and self esteem boosting eye opener on how much weight I have lost.

Deleted Member

Deleted Member

I don’t find find this site too excessively sexual.
There are the dickheads that message you who just want a 5min masturbation fix or send dickpics.
Many profiles are aimed around people’s sexual preferences as people are looking for folk who share their fetish or looking to experience something more but as a whole the site tends to be an open, friendly, advice giving place where many can just chat & make friends. 😊

I'm more interested in seeing what events/clubs are about. maybe know others who attend but it seems even when I'm blunt about it we are assumed to just be looking for sex :/

4

Deleted Member

Deleted Member

49 posts

Posted February 19

thanks for the replies. as a fetish site i did expect stuff to kind of revolve around fetishes but not to the level that it was only about fetish. i don't mind too much, it's nice to visit here infrequently and i don't rely on here for anything.

1

Carnelian2

Carnelian2

116 posts

Posted February 19

I do hope my profile covers a bit more than just kinks. It is a balance though, as this aspect is an important part of what defines us... yes, more than one string to the bow, obviously...

3

eyemblacksheep

eyemblacksheep

852 posts

Posted February 19

in the rare times I've been in chat, I've found it quite positive and diverse.

the boards can be a little lacking at times - through no necessary fault of the site, but, kinda one too many posts which are blatantly either - stealth classifieds - or - fishing for wank material.

i.e. would love to meet someone into this specific fetish

or

i.e. can women in particularly tell me what they like about this activity

or

the guys who start pretty much the same topic on 3 or 4 different boards. It's not like it's a big site!

But, I don't have the best solutions for modding those.

3

kitty_clydesdale

kitty_clydesdale

Moderator

142 posts

Posted February 20

On 2/18/2018 at 10:15 PM, 712i said:

doesn't anyone else find it unsatisfying that (especially when it comes to online) that everything revolves around sex?

like everyone has a profile which is basically a tick list of what they want sexually and don't have anything to offer apart from sex?

it's be great to have someone into the same fetishes obviously, as that'd make you more compatible, but why isn't anyone offering anything else?

1

Hiya! How would you actually make the site less sexual but still about fetish, especially for those of us who are not (only) looking for sex?

I can think of a couple more questions, like: What info would you like to see and share on your profile? What options are missing in the "looking for" box? Also, some hints on the kind of content we'd like to read more of in the magazine, or even any new features or community games...

What do you think?

3

TheReadingPuppy

TheReadingPuppy

39 posts

Posted February 20

Yes this site is more like a sex site than fetish. Where are the Mistresses? Where are the Dommes?

eyemblacksheep

eyemblacksheep

852 posts

Posted February 20

50 minutes ago, TheReadingPuppy said:

Yes this site is more like a sex site than fetish. Where are the Mistresses? Where are the Dommes?

I'm aware there are some on here - but, of those I know.... those who work Professionally I can't see being too happy being pigeonholed into their own category (speculative) and even if not, they wouldn't be looking to meet a partner etc. Because, well, um, chances are if they're any good - people are going to them rather than them having to tout and trawl for business.

Those who do not work Professionally, I guess would get about 11 billion messages from annoying subs - most of these whom I know prefer to meet prospective relationships and play partners in their local community at munches/events.

Many of the others whom are on here, I guess would be cautious posting on the forums, given I've seen how much attention blatantly fake profiles got on here, so sod help someone else.

1

TheReadingPuppy

TheReadingPuppy

39 posts

Posted February 20

Well then in that case this website is pointless. Im here to find a lifestyle Domme/partner. If there's none here it's goodbye.

TheReadingPuppy

TheReadingPuppy

39 posts

Posted February 20

People won't stay if it's just full of male subs.....or people just looking for sex

eyemblacksheep

eyemblacksheep

852 posts

Posted February 20

I dunno, there's a lot of female subs and switches on here. And, yeah, there are Mistresses - they just, well, tbh, if you post "I'm looking for a Mistress" and you found one as easy as that, I'd certainly be cautious.

I think there's a lot of good things the site is trying to do, with things like the magazine. But, it is more of a community site with a view to hook up, than a hook up site.

Probably for the best, most the fetish hook up sites are full of stolen profiles.

3

TheReadingPuppy

TheReadingPuppy

39 posts

Posted February 20

Well I've placed 2 ads not even one reply.

eyemblacksheep

eyemblacksheep

852 posts

Posted February 20

likewise - I've two ads, no bites (actually, I tell a lie - I got one bite but it was from a blatant scammer) but I like the community side.

Those who do not work Professionally, I guess would get about 11 billion messages from annoying subs

Many of the others whom are on here, I guess would be cautious posting on the forums, given I've seen how much attention blatantly fake profiles got on here, so sod help someone else.

Totally agree with this My Mistress (who is also my partner) has deleted herself from everywhere because of this She does read the sites but through my profile as its completely stress free for her

2

Carnelian2

Carnelian2

116 posts

Posted February 21

15 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

likewise - I've two ads, no bites (actually, I tell a lie - I got one bite but it was from a blatant scammer) but I like the community side.

I think this is spot on. Actually hooking up with a person would be the icing on the cake, but discussions like this are interesting and worth being here for.

It is like everything else in life; not many things just comes to you. You have to work for it, and I do feel for the women who are swamped with messages, but then, this is probably the nature of any forum that aims to connect people.

it takes patience and good humour - a lot of both 😊

1

eyemblacksheep

eyemblacksheep

852 posts

Posted February 21

When I was new, which was about 4 years ago, (Actually, I went away and came back - but my experiences from the first time are barely relevant) I read a lot of resources - mostly, but not just, on fetlife - people's writings, blogs, thoughts, experiences - and talked to a lot of people at munches and events. And although this didn't get me into any form of BDSM relationship (although, did get me a lot of casual play at events) it did help me when things did arise.

I think BDSM is a lot more complex than a quick hook up - but - I think sites like fetish.com should be treat as part of your resources rather than your only one. Take what you learn and read online into practice in real life and vice versa.

I think BDSM is a lot more complex than a quick hook up - but - I think sites like fetish.com should be treat as part of your resources rather than your only one. Take what you learn and read online into practice in real life and vice versa.

Absolutely a big part of BDSM revolves around trust, respect and understanding

I love reading and read a lot of stuff on internet land and have genuinely learned stuff but other time I just have to shake my head

A wise friend once told a large percentage of people blogging/posting on internet sites and the like are just living a online fantasy of stuff that just happens in there head

2

TheReadingPuppy

TheReadingPuppy

39 posts

Posted February 21

I've spent years looking , reading forums , websites , all the same = no Mistresses. Yet im a genuine submissive as genuine as the air you breathe.

eyemblacksheep

eyemblacksheep

852 posts

Posted February 21

6 minutes ago, Naughtysam said:

I love reading and read a lot of stuff on internet land and have genuinely learned stuff but other time I just have to shake my head

A wise friend once told a large percentage of people blogging/posting on internet sites and the like are just living a online fantasy of stuff that just happens in there head

Yes, I learnt quite quickly there were a lot of people who were either full of BS or whatever. I did, at least at the time, still think some of this 'knowledge' was worthwhile on how people thing : their visions of what things are like, or how they think things *should* be like. But, I've found some of this understanding (or, their lack of) interesting in it's own way.

My blog is 100% based on my experiences, it even has pictures and videos to prove it