What started as a personal journey of a doctor turned patient morphed into a way to share what’s universal in dealing with cancer, in my case a nasty leukemia (CLL), a failed transplant and a successful clinical trial. The telling of my journey has become a journey to teach about CLL, related blood issues and all cancers. Please visit our new website http://cllsociety.org for the latest news and information. Smart patients get smart care™. If you want to reach me, email bkoffmanMD@gmail.com

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Calm between the Storms

Newport Pier on a calm day

The torrents of rain today made me question any action that meant leaving the house today.

Never forgot to be thankful for a dry place to sleep.

And then it was gone. Ignoring all warnings we drove to the beach where waves were sending their spray over the top of the Newport Pier. That's a big wave.

A chaotic churning of at least three storm systems had waves thrashing at the pilings from several directions, never pausing to rest, but collapsing on themselves or building in unpredictable peaks of froth.

And a walk to the wedge where there was a new and sudden 6 foot drop off from the flat sand to the tumultuous waters below, taking concave bites out of the beach, threatening the solidity of my path . Where the solid land begins is always the questions, especially at the shoreline.

It seems too easy to use the calm between storms to paint a metaphor for my pregnant pauses by which I choose to ignore my CLL and ITP for the 2 weeks between each and every treatment of IVIG. Both my path on shifted sands and my future are most uncertain. And I must get close to the edge to move on..

I will go no further into that mist.

I spent a few hours with a visiting young CLLer trying to help him clarify his tough decisions.

I reviewed a few articles.

That feels good. Helping another, feeding my head. Thinking about it, making decisions is a whole other matter. Best ignored.

CLL will be oppressive enough, soon enough. I will not invite it into my consciousness.

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About Me

BkoffmanMD@gmail.com
A family doc and husband of 1 and father of 4 and grandfather of 3 who loves his family and his work. I live with no TV and no microwave, but wouldn't last a minute without friends, art, music, books and the beach. Hockey, good jokes and exotic travel are pretty important too. Writing, Talmud and Zen give meaning to my life. My diet is organic vegan, often raw. I hope the blog makes the load lighter and the path both safer and more fun for those who read it or are going to similar places. I want to help. I crave your comments. If you are new to the blog, check out the portrait my son Will painted (it is the first post), and my very first text post.