Arise Community Church

Boy,
have I been getting hit with life lessons, lately. God is trying to tell me
something. Again. (This is, like, the third or fourth ‘again’ for me, by the
way)

Last
week we downgraded to a no-cable and no-smart phone home. The cable I could
take or leave. Now I won’t feel obligated to hurry up and empty my DVR cache. I
will miss new seasons starting this fall, but I would rather save the money.

Downgrading
from my iphone to a flip phone was much harder. I felt like a middle aged
person trying to learn a new contraption. Except I was going backwards,
technologically. I was so afraid I
was going to get lost driving somewhere and my trusty 3G GPS system would not
be available anymore. Oh, what did I do in the early years of 2000?

I
did learn a lot about myself and not all of it was lovely. I learned that I
depended way too much on what was happening on Facebook and Instagram and even
Pinterest. (I really felt like my life was not complete until I caught up with
everyone’s feeds!) I also learned that I cannot text on a flip phone. It takes
me ten times longer, and it does not have auto correct. I used to curse auto
correct. Now I miss it like a lover gazing out to sea waiting for her sailor to
come home. (I also learned I am serious about my auto correct)

I
learned that I care too much about what other people think of me. Now, I did
know this about myself, but I learned that it has leaked into almost every
facet of my existence. How Christian am I? How good a wife and mother? How good
of an artist/business woman? How ‘hip’ am I (eventhoughIamachristian?)
even. Ouch.

I
am a girl with deep-rooted abandonment issues and with every status, picture
and even blog post I write, I am screaming out “PAY ATTENTION TO ME! LOVE ME!
HAVE A HIGH OPINION OF ME, PRETTY PLEASE?”

It’s
only the truth here. It kind of hurts to see it let out.

I
did learn some lovely things, though. After the initial ‘freak out’ over not
having 3G or even wireless at home for a couple days, I felt more freedom. I
can actually do the list of things that I have (literally) piling up around the
house! I have found some of those ‘social status’ ties to be cut and what has
been on my brain again is this: “What does God ACTUALLY think of me right now?”

I
haven’t thought about that in a long while. Like, REALLY. Not superficially. I
really let the Internet cloud my brain with Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Please
don’t get me wrong. I am not on a mission to condemn these things or even point
the finger and accuse anyone of doing the same. I promise. I am just here to
tell my own story, because I like to let everyone know where I am coming from.
And maybe that will inspire people to truly live an honest life themselves.

I
also fully get that some may think that by me writing and posting this I am
just feeding into what I said earlier about myself and what others think of me. (Haters gonna hate, Proverbs 9:8!) But I promise, again, this story is told with a heart of pure intentions! (And btw... totally couldn't wait to use the 'haters gonna hate' quote... just sayin')

In
conclusion.

Since
I had so much more time on my hands, I decided to work up in my craft area of
the kid’s playroom. This brings me to my last lesson learned of the week. (I
hope!) I keep kicking myself for my reactions to this and it keeps happening.
When the kids get tired and cranky and start to fight, I picture myself
swooping in, gracefully, to the rescue. Hearing each story out, fairly.
Speaking quietly but firmly to each offender and sorting out the problem.
Seeing them work it out and begin to play again, oh, so cutely together.

This
did not happen. I have become the crazy neighbor lady who can be heard through
the open windows, screaming at her kids. Tears ensue and the baby wakes up. Now
I have three kids crying at the top of their lungs. It’s also my favorite time
of day. Bedtime. (I say this sarcastically. My real favorite time of day is at
least 25 minutes after bedtime when I know they all are actually asleep.)
(That’s not completely true either, I do enjoy when my children are awake, but
every mother can agree with me that second best is 25 minutes after bedtime!)

Now,
what went wrong? I have thought about this and obviously my reaction to things.
Today was even a great day, so I wasn’t cranky. The problem was that I was
distracted. It was a good distraction, a needed one, I was working on my Toms business,
but I ignored the first warning signs my kids were giving me and the second,
and, well, you get the idea. I learned that I need to be fully present when it
comes to my kids. Brain and body. When they are doing their thing, it’s ok to
go and do my thing. But when they need me, I have to put on the brakes, and be
ok with doing that. Not begrudgingly.

I
am not going to tie this in with my relationship with God, right now, though I
am sure there is a lesson to be learned there, too. This post has gotten way
too long. But I thank you for sticking with me and not judging me. (pretty
please?) Lol. I just hope that I can remember this lesson and do better the
next time. If I don’t, I give you all permission to remind me! So that’s all
for now, and goodnight!

04/21/2013

Forgive me now for typing all over the place, it's been a long time and my brain works in crazy ways. (Plus I had Starbucks this morning) Try to keep up!

Why am I blogging about this? Well, I'm a stay at home mom who sits around with so much time on my hands, so I eat bon bons all day and watch 'my stories'... I figured, hey, let's try something productive with that time and then let's tell everyone how easy it is and maybe they can do it too!

NOT!*

Well, the last part is true, but any mom knows how ridiculously crazy it is, this thing called motherhood. A picture I found on pinterest sums it up best. (expletives have been censored)

A quick update:

Well, it happened. My 'after' story has finally started! Praise God, it was a long time coming. Our family learned a LOT during this period. There are still difficulties, don't get me wrong, but we have been able to stretch our wings and were given a roost that fits all of our chickies! I am saving that story for another post, but I am here to say that God is faithful and (warning: mixed cliche epithets ((word?)) ahead.) if you can learn to dance in the rain, Joy really does come in the morning...

So now that we are all settled in our beautiful, God given home, hubby and I are trying to really make it our own. For example, I am actually gardening! I have watched my mother and Nana all my life and never understood their love for gardening. Now that I have dirt to call my very own and have been introduced to the miracle of pinterest, I have all of these ideas I cannot wait to try. But again, I am getting ahead of myself.

Let's bring it back to the point of the post. All of the cool tips I have learned about 'making your own'. Why, when there is a perfectly good supermarket down the street with all of these items ready-made? Well, my biggest factor is cost. Why pay full when you can pay half? (Or even less!) Also, I feel like I was born in the wrong decade, and I really like to make my own with less ingredients. That way I reeeaaaally know what exactly is going into my products. Where did I learn all of this? Yep, you guessed it. Pinterest.com)

Basically, I am going to reference all of the mom blogs who did it first and did it well. You can just click the link to see the how and why they did it :O)

How to make your own!

Laundry Soap - I made my batch last June (2012) and we are only half way through! I spent less than the $20 every blog said it would take and I only use 1 TBL. for each load. Love it!

Dishwasher Detergent - If you normaly use gel, the cost is cut in half - If you use tablets, the cost is 80% less!

Baby Wipes - My children are allergic to everything but the 'chlorine free' brands. Those are a bit more expensive. With my 3rd I decided to use cloth diapers, and I love them! But I was still spending money on baby wipes. I did my own research and found out that if I bought this exact brand and type of paper towels, I would be getting 4x more wipes for the money I was already spending on name brands. So far baby's bum has handled them well. Not sure if that means my children were allergic to the other brands in general or they really needed 'chlorine free', but this is working, it costs waaaay less and that makes this momma happy.

Baby Food - I did a lot of searching for different ways to do this. There are so many, but you can search on the internet for what fits you and your family. The thing that got me were all of the slow cooker recipes! It was so easy to throw whatever vegetable or fruit into the pot, forget about it for a few hours and then puree it in my magic bullet. I invested in freezer containers to store the baby food (about $6 for 16 - 4 oz. containers.) (they are cheaper at some stores.) I also bought a storage kit at BabiesRUs for $8 and it holds 16 - 2 oz. containers.) Making baby food cut costs in half again, so I will be doing that more often! It really makes a lot, so I have some time at least between batches :O)

There are plenty more, but I don't want to be overwhelming. I am just really excited about these things and the money I am saving by doing them. I understand that not everyone has the same amount of time I have, but even if only one of these piques your interest, then I have done my job! Hope you enjoyed reading. I forgot how much I missed blogging :O)

*this word has been brought to you by the number 90, because that's the decade it became popular.

11/03/2011

i recently got a ticket for failing to stop completely at a stop sign. i had committed this transgression all the time pre-ticket. you can be sure that every time since then, i have stopped utterly and completely, looking both ways before continuing. however. my thought at each of those stops (and there were many) was this: "pretend there is a cop and stop!" seriously.

now kudos to me for obeying the law, right? it dawned on me this week that i had it all wrong. every time i stopped i should have cared less if there really was a cop or not. i should be stopping correctly because I AM SUPPOSED TO STOP COMPLETELY AT A STOP SIGN!!! i should be going slower and obeying the law because, well, it's the law!

i feel like we do this with God a lot. maybe unintentionally, maybe boldly. we act a certain way or say "the right thing" because we think of God in terms of 'the police' and we should not be breaking His 'law'. "see what i did there? that will get me brownie points!" or "i better not do this because it's against God's law."

God wants the very opposite from us. He wants a heart that will automatically say and do the right thing because, well, we WANT to! because we wouldn't even think to do it another way.

how do we achieve this?

it's so easy we take it for granted and do not do it. it's so easy but we care more about the less important but "quicker-to-achieve" stuff to cross off our 'to do' list. it's so easy but it may be even easier to mope around in our self pity. it's so easy but we live like it is unattainable.

it's so easy.

take time.

spend it with HIM. (however you want to! as long as the focus is Him.)

09/23/2011

i have kept a journal since i was in 3rd grade. sadly, the oldest one i still have is only from 10 years ago. there have been entries every day, week or month. then there have been entries where i only wrote every 6 months or so. i also never finished a journal before i bought a new one. i couldn't help myself! i finally got over that and completed my first moleskine notebook and more recently, am about to finish my second. i still procrastinate when it comes to updating the events of my life, journal or blog.

i guess this is just the way i am. some things i try to change, i have great intentions, and it never happens! some things are ok to stay the same. some things are not.

thank God, my outlook on my life has made a HUGE turn-around. the situations are still the same, the circumstances have not changed, but i feel as though a weight has been lifted and i am no longer in the "depths of despair" to quote anne of green gables... i was really sinking deep and was fearful that depression was going to once again take over. it was REALLY bad. friends came alongside me, prayers were lifted up on my behalf and i know for a FACT that those prayers are what did it. i have been depressed before and this felt more scary. possibly "oppression". but the dust has cleared and it is a gorgeous, crisp, fall day! (figuratively speaking, that is... it's past 9:30pm here) lol, but anyway, i am now looking forward to things again.

specifically, our launch.

one week and two days away. i am so excited, and so nervous. i truly have no idea what to expect, even considering what i saw over the summer at our preview services. i am so happy to be a part of this and i can't wait to just enjoy it. which brings me to another reason i am so nervous. child care! we want to have an outstanding child care program and eventually a 'school age' kids program. we fully believe that if a child is not happy 'growing up in the church', then the minute they turn 18 they are going to leave said church. we want them to have an amazing experience on sunday mornings by having fun and learning about Jesus! (what are the two questions every parent asks? 1) did you have fun? 2) what did you learn?) we want the answer to be an exclamation.

we need help! i am going to post a need and see how the response is. if you can help in any way (in this area) please let me know. if you know anyone who would be interested, please let me know! i would love to have 3 main people in charge of child care the way we have it set up for the time being. (3 people equals one week in 'nursery' and two weeks off to be in service) i also would love those 3 people to have a helper or two of some sort because a lot of kids needs a lot of attention!

i am also still trying to figure out this whole "pastor's wife" title and i have decided that i am going to redefine it just by being who i am. there are a lot of stereotypes out there and i am not any of them! so inserting myself into every hole that needs to be filled church-wise, is not going to happen. i don't mean to sound rude. i just cannot spread myself that thin, nor do i believe i should be. i feel that if i place myself somewhere, just because there needs to 'be someone' there is leaving the RIGHT person for the job out of the loop. so i will post the needs as they arise (heh heh) and hopefully God will direct the right person to the right job :O)

He has done such amazing things on this journey so far, i would not be surprised at what comes next. but He is also the God of the universe, so i have a feeling i am still gonna be astounded.

08/08/2011

well, i have decided to write out my "before" story. because we all know that means there MUST come an "after" story... and i am praying that i can be patient with the way my life is going right now, until i can tell everyone that this part of it is OVER!

i have so much to vent.

i have so much to be grateful for.

i really do not want to come across as complaining or 'woe is me, so pity me'... that is not my intention at all, but i feel i have to explain what is going on in my family's life so people can understand where we are coming from. this summer has been such a roller coaster! we have been away a lot, plus dan and i have found part time jobs, so we don't have as much free time when we ARE home. i am so grateful that we have work, but we are still not making ends meet. we have had friends and family come alongside us and help us out with money but we have been late with payments and that has not happened in a long time! i hate that feeling.

i know, i know, at least they are getting paid at all, but that means when we do start making more money, we have to pay these people back first, and that is all the more longer till we are on our feet again!

what does any of this have to do with you? well, nothing, but you are reading this so i feel i have to justify it with a reason. how about: if you feel i have ignored you lately, i haven't intentionally! i am just too busy or broke to do anything. or too tired from being too busy and i am laying on my couch zoning to netflix (thanks bill), haha.

but anyway, i said that i have so much to vent and that i had snapped, but money is not the whole issue.

we are starting a church. my husband AND i and a few close friends and family. i say "AND" i because i feel like some people think i am tagging along behind dan just for the ride. this is a calling i have felt from God as well, and i am so excited about it. which makes it harder when people in my life don't seem to be as enthused. i get that there are different things for different people, but if you love me, and i have invited you to something that is an on-going thing... you should check it out at least once.

i need your support, people.

i need to know that there are people who are excited about what we are doing for God.

i need validation.

maybe i don't 'need' these things, but it would be really nice to have them. especially if you consider me someone who is close to you. because if you haven't done these things, i am definitely not feeling the 'close'ness.

and if you think, gosh, she might be talking about me... chances are, i probably am not.

06/08/2011

right now i am sitting in the dark of my living room with our one fan blowing from our one screened window. it is HOT! the seasons must have skipped over spring entirely. but i love the heat way more than the bitter cold of winter, so i should not complain! the minute that the weather got warmer, my life seemed to get busier. bbq's, holidays and time off from school sounds like fun relaxation time, but it is proving to be the opposite. hence me not getting to sit down like this and update my blog. that and the fact that i have been using a lot of internet time to apply for jobs. whatever happened to the good ol' "meet and greet the manager and say 'are you hiring?'" ? everything is online now, it's so impersonal! pray that i get a part-time job, because my family needs the income!

which brings me to my side business. custom TOMS, such fun! my very first order came and went, i have 3 on the back burner, and more than that who are interested! you guys are so amazing, thank you for being as excited about this as i am! and thank you for your support, it is a big help to my family. this is going to be a short post but i will leave you with a couple of highlights of the summer so far and a couple of prayer requests...

05/23/2011

I AM SO EXCITED! My friend, Jenna, has come up with this amazing idea for me. A whole world has been brought to my attention and that is the world of TOMS shoe lovers! I knew these were popular shoes. I had no idea that for every pair purchased, the company would send a pair to those in need. I also had no idea that people customized thier TOMS. This is where I come in.

As an artist, I love using the talents that God has given me. I have been so blessed to be an Art Teacher for these past 6 years. Not many people can say that thier day job is a passion of thiers. This time in my life is coming to an end. I want to be home with my kids during the day to raise them. This is my other passion. I want to be there and not miss this time of thier life before they start school! I still, however, need a part time job to help support our family. I have been looking and applying, but I fear 'getting stuck in the grind'. How can I go back to retail after these past 6 years? I am semi-joking. I know God will provide, but the doubts still creep in.

This is where Jenna's idea comes in! A great way to use my talents and to make some money for my family as well. I am going to start a side business in which I will customize your TOMS! Anything your heart desires, I can probably do. Paint, Spray Paint, Sharpie, you name it. If you have no ideas, I can study your personality and tastes and come up with just the thing for you! I have included a link to my webpage for ideas. Please email me at specklesofpaint@gmail.com if you are interested! The pricing is affordable and unique to each design. Another thing. If you know someone who loves TOMS, can you please spread the word? I know I can be succesful in this with your help! Thank you!

I think the “typical Pastor’s Wife” might be dead. You know that woman who had it all together and never seemed to struggle … although might could have had some help with her wardrobe.

I’ve heard, read and said “I’m not the typical pastor’s wife” so many times, I’ve started to wonder if she really ever existed at all … or if she really only existed in people’s minds and expectations.

Maybe “typical” isn’t what I thought … maybe there is a new typical. Maybe I’m typical. The more I talk to pastor’s wives the more I realize how alike we are.

Regardless of: Age. Location. Denomination. Church Style. Church Size. I’ve noticed that we all seem to have the same questions. The same struggles. The same difficulties.

We are trying to serve God to the best of our abilities while navigating the challenges of leadership and the pulls of life. Sure, it looks different, but we are working it out.

So I think I’m just going to let what I thought was the “typical” pastor’s wife go by the wayside, and link arms with other Christian women, who like me, are just doing our best trying to figure life and leadership out.

I’m going to embrace the knowledge that maybe I am typical … a woman wanting to support my husband, love my children, care for our church, wrestle with my own shortcomings, grow in love and grace, keep my head up during the tough times, acknowledge that I won’t be all things to all people, be available to fellow-strugglers, and embrace who God made me to be.

05/07/2011

well! i see that i am developing a bad habit of failing to update my blog. such is the life of a busy mother! i have hardly been on Facebook this past week, as well. the other problem with my personality is that this means i have no idea what has been going on in most of my friend's lives lately. what would i have done in the 50's? been forced to step out of my comfort zone and call people! or 'call on them' as was the custom. hmmmm. i want to be a good teacher, good friend, good wife, good mom; but i feel like most of the time i cannot do all at once! then there are the sub-aspects of my life i want to be good at (some i wish were the main, and some of the main aspects i wish were 'sub'!) a good artist, good daughter, good sister, good boundary-setter and good blogger. (ha ha) and now i am looking at all the 'good' words i have typed and they are starting to look like a foreign word. 'gude'. ha ha, i am slowly realizing that a quarter to nine in the morning may not be the best time to blog :O)

what did i really want to come on here for? to thank all my friends and family who have helped us have a successful 'preview service' launch! these past two weeks have been wonderful! i got a taste of the excitement and anticipation that comes with putting together a church service. i cannot wait to do this every week! i miss this. i am in awe of all the people that God has brought into our life with arise community church. you guys are so amazing and such servants. we would never have been able to accomplish any of this without you! as the bible says: (paraphrased) 'how can a body function with only one part? can an eye hear or an ear see?' we need a bit of everyone's time and talents to make up the whole wonderful picture that is arise community church.

disclaimer: arise community church would be nothing without God. we are always measuring ourselves against His yardstick . are we doing what He wants us to? are we doing this for His glory? we do not want to fall into the trap of 'succeeding at something' without Him! that is NOT success!

04/16/2011

sorry for being late with this post! it was equal parts busy-ness and uncertainty with what to write. i have a couple posts on the back burner, but the time does not seem right. so now i am winging it and giving an update on my life lately.

i have spoken with friends about this and it keeps creeping back more and more every day; worry over finances. i have written on my budgeted cash book: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have!" Hebrews 13:5 as well as: "And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches which have been given to us in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19. i seriously need to read these every time i open this book. we were struggling for a couple months up until tax return season... but throughout the ENTIRE time, everything was taken care of. i know for a fact that God had His hand on our family and we always had food, payments were made on time and we still had a roof over our heads. even so, i was so excited for our tax return. i could not wait to pay off the debt we had, save money for the summer and the various other things we needed the extra money for. i just wanted to feel comfortable. a safety net if you will.

well. if you know me, you know that money burns a hot and quick hole in my pocket. being denied ANY spending money for, like, 5 months was so hard on me! i was starting to feel entitled to some fun money. that and i have a hard time, still, not 'coveting my neighbor's... well... everything, haha. anyways, i did wind up buying a few things that i did not need, but i started to get scared. i was starting to feel those 'unsafe' feelings again, but this time i actually had money in the bank! and savings account! well, other things came up, trips, car maintenance, weddings/showers, preschool etc. and we are back to square one, except now we have a bit put away for the summer for when our income decreases. back to 'absolutely positively HAVE to follow our budget because we don't have cushion room' kind of living. and to think that i could not wait to get away from this! i figure that if it is not there, i can't spend it and there is some freedom in that.

but Satan attacks. and he knows exactly what buttons to push in us. so i have been dealing with worry again. but not over food and rent and everyday life things being taken care of. we have a budget for that. but the extra stuff that is looming in our near future. gas money for a couple trips out of state that we need to take. some gift money for a couple weddings we are attending. and i know for a fact our truck is going to need some work this summer. oh yeah, and the 'check engine' light went on in my car today. ugh! lol.

so all of this brings me to my last verses: Matthew 6:24-27

“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" and verse 32, 33: "These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

can i truly say that in these past couple of weeks i was 'seeking the kingdom of God" above all else? big fat NO. and this shames me. but i am human, i keep making mistakes. i figure that as long as i am on the right path, the fact that i am really trying to seek after God with my whole heart, He honors that. it is an every day struggle. but that just means that i have to keep seeking God every day, too. and i know that is exactly what He wants.

04/04/2011

the Bible 'app' on my phone brought me to 2 Timothy in my devotions this week. i had never read this passage of scripture before (that i can remember) and so my ears perked up this morning when over the announcement speaker i heard the very same words! the principal was using this for today's devotions and when i asked her, she told me it was in this morning's 'our daily bread'. well, a lot of this post will be on that, so if you own one (i have not picked one up in about 10 years or more, mind you!) read yours and then follow along!

2 Timothy 2:1-4,7

Timothy, my dear son, be strong through the grace that God gives you in Christ Jesus. You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others. Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Soldiers don't get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them... ...Think about what I am saying. The Lord will help you understand all these things."

the devotion went on to say that in 2008, there was a man, Felipe Massa of Brazil, who should have won the 'Formula One Grand Prix' in Singapore. he was in the lead, and stopped to refuel. as he took off, he did not realize that the fuel hose was still attached. by the time the pit crew removed it, he had lost so much time that he finished in 13th place.

i think this is a perfect example of how easily it is for us to "get tied up in the affairs of civilian life". what begins as something that 'refuels' our spirit (and we ALL need that) can easily turn into a distraction away from Christ. i want to quote the 'our daily bread' because it says it so much better than i could:

"there are many attractive things in our world that are so easy to get entangled with- hobbies, sports, t.v., computer games. (right now i am thinking FARMVILLE! in my head, lol, read last post) these may start off as "refueling" activities, but later they can take up so much of our time and thought that they interfere with the purpose for which God created us: to share the good news of Christ, serve Him with our gifts, and bring glory to Him."

amen! and like verse 7 says: "Think about what I am saying. The Lord will help you understand all these things."