Working in the industry, I’ve long gathered that people on the internet are the worst people on planet Earth. The general anonymity of online forums such as Reddit and YouTube allow people to let out their inner-asshole with little to no repercussion or accountability. As a result, we not only see horrifying and cruel insults and harrassment, but they are generally really fucking creative. My boy and yours, the TFM Intern was once told by a user, “I hope you end up on an episode of ‘Locked Up Abroad’ and they reenact you getting gorilla fucked by all your cellmates and the guards ignore your screams and your parents never come for you, because you were adopted.” True story. There are some crazy, mean, fucked up people out there.

So, it only makes sense that some crazy, mean, fucked up pledgemaster decided to unleash his pledge to the mercy of the internet scum when he fucked up. The following was posted to Reddit Wednesday night in a stroke of heartless, sadistic genius:

I fucked up
I decided to sleep in when I was supposed to DD, and made my pledge brothers take time off their busy schedules to drive actives in order to make sure no one gets hurt. I am a dumb ass pledge. Highest comment suggestion is my punishment. Every upvote I get, I get paddled. Thank You Pledgemaster sir.

With 229 upvotes and 69 comments, it is safe to say that this poor pledge is, in fact, fucked.

The winning comment for punishment is actually kind of funny:

Watch a replay of the WNBA finals. Keep a perfect stat book without using the internet. Make him keep doing it until it’s right.

But there are some other suggestions that may have the pledge a little nervous:

Answer to every comment on here and post a picture of you doing what the comment told you to do. If you have any shred of respect for your Pledgemaster, you’ll make damn sure he approves of the project the comment told you to do.

Buy and wear either Heelies or Sketcher Shape-Ups everyday for the rest of the semester. Also throwing a 20lb rock in your backpack and having to carry it wherever you go could be a nice addition (on top of the Heelies/Sketcher Shape-Ups of course).

Make a fake mustache out of your pubes and wear it to class for the next two weeks.

Ew.

In any case, someone claiming to be the pledgemaster has stated that the pledge might not be able to handle this kind of hazing:

UPDATE: Sorry folks, but fuckboy pledge decided he had enough, and ran off crying this is bullshit. We have good cop actives talking to him, we will return momentarily.
-PM

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Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co