Friday, March 20, 2009

"Drinkability? " What the hell does that mean?

I've been meaning for quite some time to post a few comments on the "Drinkability" Ad Campaign by Bud Lite. The very term is nonsensical- Bud Lite is not a solid, and it's not a gas, so yes, it's "drinkable." So what? Sure seems like damning with faint praise to me. I can think of a lot of "drinkable" products I wouldn't put in my mouth...

I assume that "drinkability" is Bud Lite's version of the "No bones" concept I encountered when I lived in Western New York, back in the early-90s. When I drank beer with friends, and the beer went down easy, we would say that there were clearly "no bones in this beer." What we meant (I think) was that we were thirsty and the beer tasted good. So I suppose that nowadays, we might say that the beer "sure is drinkable tonight." That is, if we wanted to be really, really lame.

Anyway, on to the commercial which finally convinced me that it was time to post: We see a bunch of twenty-and-thirty-somethings standing around at a backyard barbecue. A man and a woman, both holding a Bud Lite, watch as one of their fellow partygoers is jumping up and down on a trampoline. This guy's fun comes to an abrupt end when he lands too close to the side of the trampoline; the flimsy thing collapses, causing the jumper to crash into a table placed too close, and then finally to the ground.

The facial expression of the observers doesn't change one bit. The message is "Instability: Bad. Drinkability: Good."

Ok, a few questions for our friends at Budweiser: First, why is this adult man jumping up and down on a trampoline? Is he drunk, or just stunted intellectually? Second, is someone at this party going to put down their beer and see if the guy is badly injured? Every year, thousands of people suffer sprained ankles, concussions, broken bones and severe spinal injuries on these things. The guy in the commercial didn't just fall off the trampoline- he fell into a table with enough force to cause it to collapse. Why don't the two people watching seem to give a shit?

Finally- when are you guys going to get past the Lowest Common Denominator theory that it's funny when people get hurt? It would be just fine with me if we stopped using the misfortune of others as a punchline to giggle and snark at. I'm imagining that in the real world, one populated by Actual Human Beings, there would be a mad rush to this guy's side to make sure he isn't in need of paramedics. I hope to G-d that Bud Lite isn't promoting the kind of brutal coldbloodedness exhibited by the people in this commercial.

To conclude, let's revisit the whole "Drinkability" issue. Yes, Bud Lite is "Drinkable." So is tap water. Come to think of it, if you can't tell the difference between Bud Lite and tap water, you probably think that pretty much everything has "drinkability."