>> GAL GADOT, I’MMA — I’MMA? I MMA, IS THAT A WORD? I’MMA BE WONDERING WHY THAT WOMAN GOT NO TITTIES. THEY’RE HERE. >> EMMA WOTSON SEEMS LIKE THE TYPE OF GIRL I’D BE FRIENDS WITH FOR LIKE THREE DAYS AND THEN GET SICK OF BUT NOT TELL HER. >> JAKE GYLLENHAAL HAS THE MOST PUNCHABLE FACE OF ALL TIME. I’D LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN TO SOCK HIM IN HIS UGLY, SOFT, STARRY-EYED PUG FACE. >> ELISABETH MOSS LOOKS STUNNING, I THINK SHE CAN CLEAN UP WELL, DESPITE MY GRANDMOTHER’S HARSH OPINION THAT SHE’S HIDEOUS. >> I BET THAT JOHN LITHGOW’S BALL SACK LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HIS FACE.
MY FACE IS NOT COMPLIMENTED BY MY BALL SACK IS. >> DAVE CHAPPELL HEAD DON’T FIT HIS BODY NO MORE. HE FORGOT TO EXERCISE THAT MILK DUD. >> ALL FROWNING OLD DUDES ARE JEFFREY TAM BOR TO ME. THAT’S JUST HURTFUL. >> CAN DWETH PALTROW STICK TO STEAMING HER VAGINA AND SHUT THE [ BLEEP ] UP FOR GOD SAKE. >> JENNIFER ANSTOR IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A BAG OF FLOUR GETS ITS BIG BREAK. BECAUSE IT’S LIKE I’M A BAG OF FLOUR.
FUNNY. >> JIM PARSONS LOOKS LIKE A VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY THAT CAME TO LIFE TO BECOME A SEX OFFENDER. OH, GOD. >> JAMIE LANSTER HAS A TINY [ BLEEP ], PASS IT ON. >> KRISTIN BELL SEEMS LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON I’D BE THRILLED TO BE PAIRED UP WITH FOR A SCHOOL PROJECT BUT THEN WOULD NEVER WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HER OTHERWISE.
THAT’S PROBABLY TRUE. >> I BET JENNIFER LAWRENCE GIVES REAL UNENTHUSIASTIC [ BLEEP ]. HOW DO THEY KNOW? >> I’M GOING TO SUBMIT BOB ODENKIRK TO UGLY WHITES. >> SOMEONE JUST TOLD ME I SMILED LIKE MICHAEL KEATON AND I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD TAKE ONE MILLION SELFIES OR PUT A GUN IN MY MOUTH. I’D PUT A GUN IN YOUR MOUTH. >> AT REAL DONALD TRUMP WRITES JUST TRIED WATCHING “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE,” UNWATCHABLE, TOTALLY BIASED, NOT FUNNY AND THE BALDWIN IMPERSONATION JUST CAN’T GET ANY WORSE. SAD.
>> IS KUMAIL’S [ BLEEP ] MULTIPLE COLORS. YES, EVERY SHADE OF YOUR MOM’S LIP STICKS.