Don’t Worry, Be Present.

“It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear. Worry is the rust upon the blade. It is not the movement that destroys the machinery but the friction.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

~

The Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

“90% of the things you worry about are out of your control so it’s not helpful to worry. The other 10% you can control so do something about it instead of worrying.”

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” ~ Mark Twain

Comments

54 Responses to “The Buddhist Rule About Worrying: Don’t.”

Hey that Buddha was a smart guy, we hear this in many of todays modern preaching. That is why it is just as valuable today as it was yesterday. What me worry – Alfred E. Newman (Mad one of my favs) Worrying is unproductive so don't waste time with it.
Jon

Has Buddhism devolved into a simple-minded feel-good denialthon? The question to some is not can but how. Can is not a resolution of a problem. Can global warming be addressed? Yes, so I guess I don't have to worry right?

I think the point is if it is inevitable why torment yourself with worry before it happens. If it is not inevitable do not waste time worrying, instead get busying doing whatever you can to make the change you desire. Basically quit your complaining and do something about it or chill and let it happen.

I don't understand this. The reason why I worry about things I can't change is that they may hurt me. Very simple. I don't worry about things that have the potential to really hurt me if I can do something about them. If I can't – I know I'm facing pain. And for me, facing pain can be a regular thing. I have to do my best to mitigate it.

Very much an over simplification… When I worry, its usually because I'm worrying about whether or not I'll be able to pull of the fix… Which may not be a legitimate reason to worry, but this still doesn't account for it.
But I love it anyway!

It is possible to let go of disturbing thoughts — like patterns of neurotic worrying. In a practical sense, that is what meditation is all about. It is not necessary either that thoughts be driven out of the mind (as if the thoughts themselves were the problem). The problem is attachment to thoughts — the emotional investment that all have in certain ideas (the hope of becoming rich or successful, the desire to avoid having others think badly of us, the fear of loss, etc., etc., etc.).

Think about it. Why don't we worry very much about the possibility that someone else has cancer? Just a little bit of loosening of attachment to ourselves as the most important thing (looking out for number one) really helps calm neurotic worries.

And this doesn't mean that you can't take action to "fix" something. And without the worry, the action is much more likely to be based on wisdom and to be more effective.

"Does not do negative commands" is not entirely accurate. What the OP meant is that by instructing the mind not to think about something, you are simply drawing your mind's attention to whatever it is you aren't supposed to be thinking about — thus you cannot command your mind not to think about something (and be successful in your goal).

Very much an over simplification… When I worry, its usually because I'm worrying about whether or not I'll be able to pull of the fix… Which may not be a legitimate reason to worry, but this still doesn't account for it.
But I love it anyway!
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Don’t worry about being perfect. Just be human. I agree about not worrying, but for most of us that will be very difficult. Worry comes in many forms, it is an excuse to not be responsible. We must be in full charge at all times. To assign responsibility for any difficulty to an external factor, or to another person, or to another person's irrational behavior, is itself and irrationality. There is nothing wrong with any human except the results of mistreatment. Only mistreatment makes humans into problems. Stop mistreatment and problems will be stopped.

Sounds great when the world is black and white. I think most of the time the worry comes from it not being clear whether or not something can be done. And if something can be done, what the best way might be.

Sounds like great advice for a 20 year old. Later, when life gets complex, ya might want to worry a bit. It's when you find yourself worrying in your sleep that it's gotten to be too much. Letting a problem cogitate awhile sometimes brings some more creative solutions. It's best not to tell anyone though. They'll tell you to "not worry" 😉

Kind of a feel-good bromide. If you're a prisoner facing…torture or execution. You can't do anything about it, no. Are you really going to say "Oh…well shoot. I guess I won't worry about it. I remember that handy flow chart! Yay!". You may dread the pain. The agony. Will it be too much to bear? Will the waterboarding be as bad as I dread? Will the execution be drawn out and horrific? So many situations will bring about worry, and a flow chart isn't going to remove the anxiety of potential pain or suffering. Powerless in the face of trauma, the fear of the unknown, loss…..yes, ideally we can all exist in a place where we just don't feel it. But to reduce how one gets there to a flippin' flow chart is pablum.

Though intellectually I agree….my anxiety doesn't let me do it very well. I worry about everything, ever …when I was a child I just thought I was a worry-wart. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized there was a reason I worried all the time. Gotta love GAD. Though, I try not to worry as much, it just doesn't work that way very well. 🙁

The question "Can you do something about it? Yes/No." is a false question, a lie, a deceiving question, a distraction that sets up ignorance … because it cannot be answered with a Yes or No.

It can never be answered in advance. You do not have a Yes, and you do not have a No. The only possible answer is "I don't know", until AFTER you have tried a few things. The process of wondering, mulling over the possibilities, and creating new ideas, experimenting with a sense of curiosity and discovery … is called worry. It is wonder-filled and healthy, and the results are uncertain, unknown, until after we go out and explore what happens.

The suspenseful, tense anticipation that sometimes feels uncomfortable is merely uncertainty … attachment to something that we don't know … and even that is a healthy response that helps train our senses to focus upon the problem we are studying and learning about.

So, please DO worry, in the most curious, deliberate, and mindful ways possible, because it is a very healthy direction of attention, to fiddle, explore, and discover new things. The things that we don't know yet are most worthy to be explored, so why would we place a prejudged and simplistic Yes or No onto them beforehand? When you want a particular outcome, then explore. Pay attention and really get into it, with a very active and lively form of curiosity, healthy forms of worry.

I have finally learned how to give up worrying: live in the present, without expectations. Have a Plan B, but, don't agonize about it. Be open to new opportunities. Be glad for each new day. Count your blessings. Have faith that everything will work out the way it's supposed to. This is a new experience for me. It helps having the weight of the world lifted off one's shoulders. I like it!

For many people worrying is much more complex than this allows. Worrying is all about uncertainty and one’s perceived ability to impact one’s problems of fears. For many people who worry this will be unhelpful and a trivialisation of the importance of stress/anxiety awareness.

This is all very well in theory, or, as a Tantrika would say, as ground. On the path or in practical terms, you have the sometimes extreme tension of whether your strategy for a problem will work, whether you will be able to fix your problem or not. If this tension brings one (as is the case with me) a pulse of 150 and a sleepless night, it’s not funny & should not be dismissed.

Yes I agree with this in principle. But if you have genuine problems and worries about money or jobs or health, it's not so straightforward. My worries and stress stem from running my own business. When the burden is too big, it isn't always possible to find a quick fix to remedy it. I find the most chilled out people are the ones with the least responsibilities in life. #justsaying

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