Letters I'll Never Send

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How could you convince someone you were a good person, and how could I believe you? I blame myself for being so stupid.

You keep contacting me. You won’t let me forget you, when that’s the only thing I can do to heal. I don’t want to tell you to fuck off because I think you’ll see it as me wanting to speak to you, when in reality I wish you never existed.

I stupidly needed a friend. And you were there for me, apparently lurking and waiting for the time to change my life forever in the worst way. I never thought i’d be one of those people, with an awful past that can never be revealed.

I tried to tell my ex-boyfriend about what you did to me, and instead of helping me recover- he attacked me and told me it was my fault. My own mother attacked me when you were around me. Where was she to tell you to leave me alone?!? You have ruined my life. Without you I could be so much better. All you did was take away my innocence and lie to me, pretending like you cared. Caring is different than obsession. Of course you were obsessed with me, you were 37, i was 15.

You’re disgusting. You used me, you tricked me, you marred me forever. I hate everything about you. You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the world. And all I do is hear about you! Because no one was paying attention to my life! And you knew that! You sick son of a bitch! I want to destroy you like you destroyed me. You are worthless. You are nothing. I hope you know that. I hope you sit around every day thinking about how you don’t deserve to live. I should have told my friend where you lived so he could have brought justice upon you.

I guess I’m just too good of a person. Figured justice would come to you in life later down the road. I wouldn’t mind so much if you left me alone. I never did anything to you. Just leave me alone.