I woke up this morning doubting my ability to accurately decide if I was living a good life. “Is my life a problem or a pleasure”, I asked myself. I questioned my decision on this day being a good one or a bad one because I truly hadn’t lived any of it yet. Yet, how often do my thoughts on my life then immediately lead to feelings about my life, good or bad?

What we focus on, be it the things that we need to “fix” or the things that we’re grateful for, determines our feelings about our lives. How we feel about our life is all we have to decide if we like living them or not. Having the “trappings” of a good life, like wealth or social status, does not guarantee that inside, people still don’t feel good about their lives.

But is I decide that I am living a charmed life, which I surely am, and that I have it pretty good today, then I am able to smile and appreciate my day more and be grateful for the pleasure of living this lie. How many times do you see other people grumbling and ungrateful and you think, “Don’ t they know how lucky they are?” That’s all of us. Each of us able to enjoy and be grateful for our gifts every day, not just at Christmas. A half full day awaits you.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

A cold rainy day has driven me to light the fire and my favorite smelly candle. My first cup of earl grey tea for the season has been brewed.

There’s a lull between holiday storms. Thanksgiving is only leftovers and memories and Christmas is still contained in lists. And I am maintaining a ‘be here now mindset’ as the calendar moves ever onward and may to try to hijack me and my anxieties with “all the things” to come.

Gratitude and appreciation keep us grounded. I am grateful that this old gas fireplace is still lighting after a dozen years in service. That I am still able to buy Paddywax’s Ralph Wald Emerson candle from their Library collection.

For the fact that we have money in savings for Christmas this year. And that family will visit to see Fiona in her première performance of the Nutcracker.

I have plenty of time to say what needs saying. And I have plenty of words to do that with. I m also infinitely grateful for all the eyes that take in my words and appreciate them.

My cup is half full only if I think it is. So today, I think it is.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

In an effort to regain the self-trust momentum I seem to have lost of recent, I thought I might take a moment to appreciate myself. Throw my humble self a slice of gratitude pie and see where it sticks. So here’s what I am grateful to myself for this past week.

Thank you for not judging my body and telling me I’m fat or imperfect.

Thank you for dressing me in comfortable clothing that also flatters me.

Thank you for taking me to the gym just enough to know I went this week.

Thank you for asking for support from your community when you were feeling wobbly. You let me see that many more people think the better of you than you think.

Thank you for making the appointment to see the doctor and ask for a little help despite the stigma of anxiety. Thank you for being my hero.

Thank you for making the soup and getting my eyebrows waxed and hair trimmed.

Thank you for letting me play and redecorate in my house with my stuff/toys to make it pretty for November.

Thank you for cleaning out the freezer and mopping the kitchen floor.

I will be exercising my gratitude muscle a little more this week of Thanksgiving. We all need a built-in excuse to be thankful every now and again.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

I was talking on the phone with my husband. He said, “Did you call the gas company?” at the exact same time the gas company truck was driving by my window at 40 miles per hour. I laughed, told him what had just happened, and wondered out loud how often the Universe is trying to let you know stuff that you just aren’t paying attention enough to understand.

Gratitude isn’t just for the now,

it’s for all the stuff that didn’t but could have happened.

I can tell you I’m profoundly grateful for the support I received from my community when the chips were down a couple of weeks ago and my blog blew up. For Danielle fixing my site when it got eaten by a Viagra ad. For my friends showing up to celebrate my birthday. For all the birthday wishes I received from all the people online and off! And for my children for being sweet and healthy and creative.

But I’m also grateful for just being here. For not having been taken out of this beautiful world by any of the people I made bad choices with or by the drugs I took. Grateful I am healing from my traumatic childhood and am lucky enough to have a therapist who gets me. For the food in my fridge all of which I didn’t grow or pay for. And for the ability to post words I want to say unedited out into the inter-webs.

Thank you life.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

Today I realized that gratitude grounds me after I fly out of my bounds. Because yesterday was a great day until it wasn’t. I made what felt like a fatal mistake and deleted about 80 posts on my blog out of ignorance, or perhaps it was unconscious self-sabotage. Either way, they were gone and as I tried to right my wrong, I reached out to my community for their support. And they showed up for me.

Gratitude is now what I’m feeling for both the restoration of my posts and the outpouring of love and kindness from my people, many of which I have never met face to face. And my lesson today is about allowing others to support me. That typically I don’t have anything too terrible going on. There’s a general feeling of everything’s OK. But this lack of vulnerability doesn’t allow me to be visible and leaves me disconnected from the community that I’ve created.

Perhaps all the vulnerability I pour into blog posts about Shame and Paying it Forward (brought tears to my eyes to read these and know they were not lost) seems like I am vulnerable enough. But I suspect that this is then the excuse to not come out in other ways. I am hiding in plain site. I am a hypocrite if I tout community as being the best thing since sliced bread but then hide from it.

After much reading and listening and understanding, I know that each of us needs to be valued in our communities for who we are and what we bring to share there. Our talents and who we like to be need to be appreciated by our people. And if we aren’t sincere about who we are, we can not experience that feeling of being known. We are keeping ourselves from the salvation of acceptance. Of belonging.

So there’s one lesson I need to take to heart and apply from the blog snaffu of 2018. Will there be more, I have no doubt. And I’ll share them with my community as soon as I realize what they are.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

My name is Shalagh Hogan, pronounced Shay-La. I'm the mother of a teen, a six year-old, and I turned 52 this year. This blog was born in 2011 and my hope and joy as a writer, an artist, and an uber-creative, is that by sharing my journey of self-discovery, others will gain inspiration and permission for their own journeys.

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