I have been wondering about the safety of children playing outside on their own. Of course, a great deal of this comes down to the kind of area you live in. But beyond this what is a good yardstick for safety, especially for a daughter?

My daughter is a precocious 4-yr. old and would love to be outdoors all day if she could. Unfortunately most parents can't stay outside all day, with duty calling in the house! So I have tried to compromise on this by letting her outside w/o an adult if she stays in the yard in sight of the windows and is accompanied by both of her brothers who are 9 and 7. I allow her brothers to play with their White friends in the neighborhood and if they want to leave the yard to go to a friend's house she must come inside with me or if I have time I go outside with her.

Yes, she is being treated differently from her brothers, not just because of her tender age, but because she is a girl. It just seems like a girl needs more protection but I think she may come to resent being treated like a baby. How old is safe enough to play outside on her own?

Tough call... depends on the neighborhood, her maturity, etc... You're right, 4 is definately too young to play anywhere on her own. In a mixed, increasingly dark neighborhood, I don't know if I'd ever let her go anywhere alone. I had a hard time letting 12 & 15 year old girls out of my sight .

I swear I'm going through the same thing right now. My 7 year old went outside for the first time in her life without me today. She made a 9 year old friend who asked if my daughter could go to the park with her. My heart stopped beating the moment she walked out the door. I'm a very protective mother... Over bearing maybe. I've never even let her answer the door without me, let alone walk through it.

But I said yes to her going to the park. I had a lot to do today, but I'm sure you understand why next to none of it got done. I turned into a spy. I stood around the corner watching her for 4 hours off and on...mostly on. I took notice of everyone around, whether or not they had kids of their own, what they were doing, how they were acting. I felt like a crazy person, but a content one after seeing that everything was as it should be. I'm scared to death of what could happen. Ill let her feel like a big girl, but I'll still always are her as my baby. Maybe when shes around 18....or 21.... I'll stop feeling the need to stay that close. I don't trust the world I live in, especially for my kids.

I live in a very nice neighborhood with extremely low crime rates, but bad people love coming to unsuspecting neighborhoods and catching us off guard. We're easy prey. Don't let your baby girl out of your sight, even when she thinks she is. Her life is too precious.

I know a family that lets their kids go to the park and gave them cell phones so they can call. 3rd graders with cell phones.

Exactly what every household in my family does. Whether the kids are in elementary school or high school, the kids all have to check in via cell phone every hour. The exceptions being the soon to be 21 year old who moved to Hawaii... and the 19 year old college student in Boulder .

Irish Descent Blonde and AAThunderlady, I tried to rep both of you but the system came back with the message that I needed to spread some rep around first before giving you anymore. I guess you two just write too many good posts!

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I swear I'm going through the same thing right now. My 7 year old went outside for the first time in her life without me today. She made a 9 year old friend who asked if my daughter could go to the park with her. My heart stopped beating the moment she walked out the door. I'm a very protective mother... Over bearing maybe. I've never even let her answer the door without me, let alone walk through it.

But I said yes to her going to the park. I had a lot to do today, but I'm sure you understand why next to none of it got done. I turned into a spy.

Oh yeah I understand about the spy part. That's why I said the kids had to stay within view of the windows so I could conduct my own surveillance.

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I live in a very nice neighborhood with extremely low crime rates, but bad people love coming to unsuspecting neighborhoods and catching us off guard. We're easy prey. Don't let your baby girl out of your sight, even when she thinks she is. Her life is too precious.

A surveillance camera never hurt anyone either. We have 3.

Hmmm. Maybe I should have titled this thread "Your Children Playing Outside". One of my sons is a bit like a little sentry himself. We had already had the long talk about strangers when he came running in one day breathlessly reporting that he had spotted a stranger on the street and described him in great detail from head to toe. Turned out the man was a utility worker down the street sent by the city. Still I conveyed my appreciation to him for being alert and cautious.

At a soccer game for that son my other son was allowed to walk all around the outside of the field himself (he was about 7 at the time) as long as he stayed within my sights. Well he strayed out of sight for a minute so I hauled my daughter on to my back in her carrier to hunt him down. While I was still looking he came back to the stands on his own where one of the ladies there tried to speak to him. From far away I noticed him back at the stands and returned to give him a good dressing down. Before I could get started however the lady who had tried to talk to him commented to me that he had good instincts because he had told her that he wasn't allowed to speak to her because mom told him not to talk to strangers. He had then quickly walked away from her. She actually understood this and didn't tell me I had a rude child, but instead said I had a wise one. He received only a mild rebuke from me for straying since I was proud of the good sense he had shown when dealing with a stranger that had approached him.

Really illustrates how times have changed. When I was young if I had been in that same situation I would have gotten harshly disciplined for not showing respect to an adult. I am glad the lady understood.

But beyond this what is a good yardstick for safety, especially for a daughter?

After some thought, I believe that factoring in a child's gender, age, and neighborhood one lives in, it would be wise to have some sort of chaperon, especially concerning the first two factors. Namely, someone you can trust with experience in the neighborhood, and a bit older than the child, perhaps 9 or 10.

Thinking back, I remember my mother letting me roam about the neighborhood at a young age, however, I had to check in every so often, e.g. hourly.

Thinking back on it. My parents let us outside all the time. Keep in mind i'm 15 so that wasn't too long ago. Wow i feel young and old at the same time. As i was saying though my parents never batted an eye about it, didn't even seem to worry. So i guess it really depends on the child and the area. Our old neighborhood was mostly white for a while then after about 10 years the blacks and mexicans started creeping in. Once that started happeneing we were all to the age where we could hold our own. My parents were protective of my sister(then again she is rather libral and will trust anybody believing anything.). So i would say its the parents call which ever way you go make sure you go with your gut instinct most of the time its right. As for my kids(implying i ever have any and don't plan to for atleast a few more years. ) they will have to worry about skunks and opossums before creepy old guys hitting on them. Another peice of advice teach your kids at like 5 or 6 how to use a knife. By the age of 11 i was carrying two or three at a time and could use them accuratley. Between thoose and the steel toed boots i was more protected then some gangster with a gun. No wonder neighborhood parents awlays trusted when their kids were with me.

Most people would say don't even take the chance. I don't know where you live or what type of housing you have to allow this but I was in a similar situation. Just a referenced idea below...

It is a bummer to have two out of three part of the buddy system. I can see how she would feel like a baby and the boys feeling like the baby sitters all the time. The only thing is, is that when they get older they will be more protective of her than you know what to do with! Designate a squared area on the grass or by the front door and name it something you both can relate too like after the name of an animal ie: Sparkys silly safe place" and always refer to that being the only area she can play in outside when her brothers aren't present. Let the boys know that it's her space and allow them to play along ie: asking her permission to sit down in that area or what not. If they start to tease her then you need to tell them that they will have to stay home with her if they keep it up. Keep a front window cracked.

If you vacuum daily or every other day, never do it with her outside because of the noise may be a vulnerable distraction. In fact, you should work on specific parts of the house while she is inside which your probably doing anyways.

There is no age limit preferred for kidnappers or Peds. Even boys are just as much at risk. I know children have to be children too and they need to release energy. But the minute she steps out of the designated area you need to put her in time out right away. Otherwise she will go off thinking "mom" won't hold up to the rules why should I.
Hope this is a good idea for you!
-Mycro