Clinical Counseling: Rings of life record a person's development

"Except by physical damage to the brain there is no evidence that any memory of any significance can be wholly destroyed, although it can be repressed."

— J.A.C Brown (1911-1964)

"I sometimes worry about my short attention span, but not for very long."

— Herb Caen, San Francisco Chronicle

If one were to examine a cross section of a great tree that has been cut, they would see the rings of that tree naturalists say reveal its developmental history.

For example, this ring represents an event where that particular tree was struck by lightning.

These consecutive rings show some normal years of growth. Another ring is blurred by a forest fire that this tree barely survived. Here's another ring that seems to reveal some kind of hurtful blight and scarring disease.

In many ways the rings of a tree are synonymous to our own lives. Underneath our bark of protective masks are the recorded rings of our own development.

Our rings may reveal deep, hurtful scars of a painful past such as the tragic loss of a loved one, or a humiliating experience at school or in our own home.

Some scars may trigger deep, repressed memories like an attempt to rescue one's mother from a raging, alcoholic father or the vicarious trauma of the tragic accident of a childhood friend.

Unfortunately these scars may have been buried in pain so deep that they are inexplicably causing hurt and rage in our present lives.

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While I am not a proponent of the kind of therapy that leads to what some call the 'paralysis of analysis,' I do believe that some healing can only come at the point of pain.

While uncovering hurtful memories of our past can be very painful, it may be helpful to ask yourself a few questions: In what ways have you been avoiding the pain of your past?

What past experiences on the 'rings' of your life are causing you a sense of hurt or sadness today? Finally, who or what in your life brings you the greatest sense of comfort or security?

Sometimes all we need is someone willing to lend a compassionate ear to our deepest feelings, both positive and negative.

Why not give that person a "ring" (pardon the pun!) and see if your answers to any or all of those questions can assist you in creating stronger, healthier "rings" for your future?

James D. Martin is a licensed professional clinical counselor and the program director of the Lincoln County Community Assistance Program and the Heritage Program for Senior Adults at the Lincoln County Medical Center. Heritage is a program designed to improve the quality of life for the older adult. Confidential screenings are available by appointment. If interested please call 575-257-6283.