Saturday, May 14, 2011

Before Dave and I were even close to engaged, I asked my mom if I could try on her wedding dress...just for fun. It had been sitting in her closet since 1982. It had not been properly preserved, so it had an slightly yellow tint to it, but that just made the lace look all the more antique. The long sleeves and scalloped neckline could have created a stunning vintage look on a more daring bride, but I decided it wasn't my style. Plus, I couldn't even zip into it! I'm a big 4 or a small 6...apparently my mom was even smaller!

My mom wasn't offended. She had just saved it as an option. No pressure, no worries. She offered it to my sister, who declined as well. My mom promptly took it to her nearest thrift store, and we haven't heard from her dress since.

It was back then that I decided against saving my wedding dress.

It seemed like an awful lot of work to preserve my wedding dress and to have it take up space in my closet, only to have it rejected decades later by my future daughter. What if she wants to wear a sundress? What if she doesn't want to get married? What if I have boys?! I had made up my mind; I would sell my wedding dress immediately after the wedding. That money could go towards a house, and therefore go towards starting our lives together. It was the logical, practical, thing to do. I felt no remorse.

After our wedding, I posted my dress all over the internet with a reasonable asking price. I was ecstatic when I received an offer for over half of what I had paid. It seemed like a great deal for a used gown, and this bride sounded lovely. I was happy to know that my dress was going to a good home, and happy that I was one step closer to buying my first home.

Then, something strange happened. When I reached into my closet to inspect the dress before shipping it out, I felt a little lump in my throat. As I lifted each layer of soft ivory lace to make sure they were without rips or tears, I grew nostalgic.

It was so unlike me to have this much attachment to a material thing. My wedding dress wasn't even my favorite part of the wedding! If I had to pick a favorite wedding thing, it probably would have been that window...and it blew over and shattered immediately after the ceremony! I didn't really experience post-wedding blues (I was just too relieved it was over!)...perhaps this was how it was manifesting? Maybe I was bummed because it really was over?

It was too late for debate, however, as I had already accepted payment from this other bride. I had made this decision years ago, and now was the time to remember the reasons why I had made that decision. I had to stick with my choice. I had Dave come with me to the UPS Store to ship the dress, and I had tears in my eyes the whole way there.

Once I had dropped it off, I quit wallowing. I felt like my dress was being reincarnated, and I rejoiced in the fact that it would fulfill its destiny with another bride. It probably made her as happy as it had made me. After all, just because you feel like throwing something away, that doesn't mean it's not exactly what someone else is looking for.

I have mine in the back of my closet in its bag still...It's not preserved--I know I have no use for it, I just haven't really thought about parting with it. I really want to do a 'trash the dress' photoshoot--wear it in a bunch of crazy pictures and totally destroy it....my mom's not too keen on that idea though.

Mine is still in my closet, it hasn't even been cleaned. I wanted to sell it at first, then donate it, but I think the odds of finding anyone it will fit are slim. It was basically altered around my body. I want to get rid of it, but I do unzip the bag occasionally and give it some longing looks.

I've thought of selling mine, but I know that when it came time to mail it off, I'd feel just as emotional as you described. For now, mine's back in my parents' closet in California, and I haven't even taken the time to decide what I'm going to do with it yet. I admire the positive attitude you developed about your dress' future life! It would be so neat if its new owner would send you a picture of her wearing it!

And this is the precise reason why my dress is still hanging in the closet. . I don't know what to do! It's the most beautiful piece of clothing that I have ever owned and has such a story on how I aquired it. . .I know there's only a slim chance my daughter would wear it, but maybe! just maybe! (awww who am I kidding), maybe it's just too soon, but if I even think about selling it, I get a lump in my throat. You are far braver than I for sure!