Reviving the intimacy after an affair

It is often difficult to start thinking about reviving the
intimacy between you and your husband after an affair has taken
place. There is too much pain to wade through to even take a
look at the possibility. While it may be very hard to think
about having a physical relationship with your husband again,
there are small steps that you can take to move forward towards
this in the future.

Intimacy can be broken down into three different sections.
The first one would be romance, the second would be a connection
that is emotional and the third would be sex. If making love
to your partner is not in the books right now, you may want
to consider building up the two other sides to make it more
approachable.

Romance

Romance is important for both spouses and it is just as valuable
for a man to experience as it is for a woman. In any marriage
it is quite often the first thing that has been swept aside.
Intimacy is hard to produce if there is no romance, since it
helps keep a connection alive between two partners. This is
the first area that should be worked on.

If you have never considered yourself to be romantic, here
are a few ideas to get you started. Try holding hands while
you are watching TV, send flowers or send a card that just lets
the other know that you are thinking about them. This is quite
enough to get started and romantic ideas can grow from this
seed.

The emotional connection

There must be an emotional connection firmly in place to
have an intimacy. Without it, the relationship will be lacking
to a point where sex and romance cannot thrive. Both spouses
need to nurture each other in special ways emotionally so that
a deep connection can occur.

The best way to get this connection started again is to begin
talking to one another with the goal of understanding each other's
wants and needs. Start the conversation by discussing your dreams
and goals and see where that leads. You may also want to talk
about pleasant stories from the past. These are an easy icebreaker
and can lead to many more thoughtful discussions.

Intimacy

Sex is only one side of the equation when it comes to intimacy.
To be intimate a couple does not have to engage in sex. They
can share themselves deeply through conversation, light physical
contact, using romantic gestures or simply spending quality
time together.

There is a lot of confusion about intimacy since it is often
considered to be the sex act itself. This could not be further
from the truth. If you consider a couple where one is handicapped
and the other isn't, a lifelong intimate connection can still
be made without the need for sex. Some of these special marriages
will last a lifetime even though the sex component may be lacking.

This does not mean, however, that sex does not play an important
role in a relationship. It simply means that sex alone does
not equal intimacy and it is possible to be intimate with a
partner without having sex.

If you are still
recovering from the effects of your
husband's
affair, it may be time to start building up some intimacy without
making love. You can start by reviving your emotional connection
and romance and see what type of path that leads you on. You
may feel more comfortable about having sex again with your
husband when the other two parts of intimacy have more strength.

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Can YOUR marriage survive your cheating husband's
affair?

Yes... it can. Just like thousands of other couples, you can avoid divorce
after an affair by working together through a marriage-healing plan. You follow
the right steps... in the right order... and end up with a marriage stronger
than it ever was before the infidelity.

Recent studies show divorce doesn't make women happier. And besides that,
if you never work through the trust issues caused by the affair you'll later
find it impossible to trust the next man you get close to.

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