-Edit: I sent out an email to the manager of the grocery store I went to, and they fired the employee as well as filed a police report. Thank you guys so much for helping me know what to do about the situation. The guy who "helped" us also got fired for not doing his job and finding the guy. (Apparently it was his friend or something and he didn't want him to get in trouble) They actually did have cameras and reviewed the footage and confirmed that the guy was indeed breaking the law. Thanks! ❤ (I didn't want financial compensation, I just wanted him to get fired and an apology)

My friend had gotten me a small purse for my birthday a few weeks ago, so I decided to use it to go to my local grocery outlet. I walked around for a bit browsing, when I was approached by a store employee. He asked me if I was finding everything okay, so I said I was just kinda looking. He walks away but after walking around a bit more, I find out he's following me. It started to give me the creeps, so I just reached for something in the hopes he would go away. He didn't, so I pulled my phone out of my purse while holding the item and pretended to be in a call. As soon as he sees this, he runs up to me and says I'm stealing. I have no idea what he's talking about, so I deny it. He tells me to show him the contents of my purse, and I refuse because I don't want him to see my tampons. He snatches my purse, and, in front of everyone, pours out the contents to my awe. My tampons, femine wipes, pads, and, obviously, nothing stolen. I cover my face and turn red and he looks at everything. He looked disappointed, and handed me my purse, with the contents on the ground still. I expected him to say sorry, but of course not. I give him the item to show him that I just had it in my hand, and he snatches it and walks away. Everyone was looking at me, and I never felt such embarrassment. I picked up every thing and put them back in my purse. I ran out, everyone still looking at me. I got in my car and drove away. That was about 3 weeks ago, and I still haven't gone back. 😖

It's illegal for them to detain you and search you without either your consent or calling the police. Even licensed security can't just grab your bag for no reason. They can perform a citizens arrest, which is what it's considered when security comes out and grabs someone and hauls them back to the security office for the police to show up. But again, requires real law enforcement officers to show up.

I don't know about that stuff, and I have no clue why he just snatched it. My girlfriend even told me that she thought it's illegal for him to do that, but she wasn't sure. The person my mom complained to even said that as soon as they found out who he was, he would be fired and sent to the police station. But I still don't wanna go back and possibly see him, because I might have an anxiety attack.

For reasons unknown one of those anti theft alarms went off when leaving in a store. I hadn't stolen anything and there wasn't much to search. But the alarm kept going off. They tried having me walk through a different sensor and it didn't go off. They said something about maybe the sensor was too sensitive or sometimes a sticker sticks to a shoe or whatever.

The technology was pretty new to me at the time having recently been introduced to stores at the time. I was out of country visiting the US and my parents were with me. Despite the minimal embarrassment and being let go it definitely made me anxious shopping for a good 10 years after. I'd physically brace for the alarm to go off everytime I entered or left a store.

I can definitely relate to your anxiety even though your story is way worse. Talk it out with friends and parents. Pursue it if it's helpful to you. I hope it doesn't haunt you. You did nothing wrong.

I used to have stores that had these security gates. They were VERY accurate and if they didn't go off when you came in and did when you left, it was nearly 100% because you concealed something.

However: It was our store policy to assume, and to act as though you assume, the person did nothing wrong and there was a glitch in the system. We'd ask the person to come back in so we could figure out what it was. Our approach was such that we tried to apologize to the person and explain nicely so that there would be no stigma or panic from them like you may have had.

Usually, they'd either immediately cave in and admit they had attempted shoplifting or they would bolt out the door and run.

But...sometimes, and it was like a monthly thing...there would be an innocent person with one of those little tags on their person somewhere. It was commonly buried in a shoe (manufacturers put them there), but we'd find them all over the place. I one particularly embarrassing incident, a woman's brand new bra was factory tagged like this. We (including she) all had a good laugh once we figured it out.

These days if I hear that beeping I just keep on walking like it's not happening. I didn't steal anything so I have no problem with that. And the VAST majority of the time the employees just let you keep on walking. (Hi, Home Depot).

I wish I had known what it was. Would have made life easier for sure. It was odd only one scanner went off but not the other two (Which was my Dad's idea to retry the one I entered with). Probably burried in clothing like you said and somehow partially left on.

Fortunately life did eventually move on and it doesn't bug me any more. Drug store clerk told me to carry on as I walked out the door with a bag after an alarm went off with no anxiety recently. Perspective is different at age 16 vs 35.

I had a handbag that I bought in New York that they left the security tag in. When I got home to Ireland it set off the alarm every time I went in or out of a shop. I ended up chatting to quite a few security guards on the way in and lots volunteered to let me try their tag removal thing. They were never the right shape though and I didn't want to cut up the lining of the bag so I just kept setting alarms off for about 6 months. I'm pretty chilled anyway, and was even moreso after this episode, so it didn't bother me at all and I think that's why I was never treated with suspicion, even though I was setting the alarms off. Frequently, other people would get searched if they were leaving the store at the same time as me too and despite me telling the guards that it was me they would insist on holding the other people. I always felt bad about that.

I was at a store a few weeks ago and some guy triggered the alarm when he walked through. The security guy did something similar to your store policy. He stopped the guy from leaving and asked one of his co-workers to re-scan the bag at the counter.

Guy was majorly pissed off and yelling at the security guy that he was not stealing (security guy never accused him of stealing, just thinking there was a mistake). Turns out, they left a tag on one of the clothes. They fixed it and gave the bag back to the guy but he was not done yelling. He berated every single employee involved for embarrassing him. No one would have noticed if he wasn’t yelling.

I don't even stop if those alarms go off. I know I haven't stolen anything, and they aren't allowed to stop you and check your receipt after you've paid for your items (unless it's a club and you've agreed to that.) If they're concerned about it, they can take the time to go over security footage.

Go and speak to a lawyer. A friend of mine had this happen because security thought his kid was stealing. The security guy (politely called "loss prevention") essentially interrogated the kid in front of other customers, until she cried. I am still amazed my buddy didn't seriously injure the guy.

I am not sure if the security person lost his job, but my buddy got $7,500 from the grocery chain, which has been in an account for his daughter's tuition ever since.

That's not accurate depending on where you live actually. Under tort law, a store is legally allowed to detain you in a reasonable manner and for a reasonable amount of time to prove that you havent stolen anything if they suspect it (United States), and it does not require any Leo to be involved, unless they move to press charges or want to search you.
The "reasonable" in there is actually a a measure decided upon by the jury (should it go to trial).
I would agree that it is illegal for them to search you or your bag, that should be specifically a duty for the police.

I'm also pretty sure that constitutes assault and battery. You could probably have a case for intentional infliction of emotional distress and possibly conversion if he damaged your purse or anything inside of it.

Was it a large department store? Have your mom write to corporate, they should know who is working that day and at which time, plus if you remember what he looks like you can describe him. Or if you mom is even ballsier, she can go to the store and Ask to talk to the manager in person. Perhaps the asshole would be working that day and you can point him out

I didn't get many looks at the guy, so all I remember is that he had black hair and a single ear piercing. The person my mom complained to said that wasn't much to go on, because they had a few people who fit the description. My mom asked them to show us the pictures of employees so I could identify and the guy said that he couldn't do that. I don't know why, but anyway, the guy said that if I ever saw him again to point him out, and tell the manager. My mom asked to talk to the manager, but she wasnt there that day. I haven't gone back cause it gives me anxiety thinking I'm going to run into him. 😞

I know you’ve likely thought of this, but just incase, have you considered speaking to the police? Especially considering your age and the fact that he ripped the purse away from you like that, it could be considered assault depending on your location. Maybe nothing will come from it, but police at least have the right to request to see the camera footage from the business to ID the guy who did, since you say there was confusion.

I don’t work retail, but I do work in the service industry. While filling in at another location, the police came and requested to see their footage from a few days prior. Apparently there was a complaint of one of the newer bartenders trying to take a patrons keys to stop them from drunk driving. Drinking and driving is obviously illegal, but so is confiscating a customer’s private property. As I mentioned before, obviously it depends on your location. But it goes to the due diligence and expectations of the business to take care of their customers when incidents like that unfortunately happen. It could be an avenue worth following, even if it may seem scary. Your situation and the one I described are obviously not identical, but I just wanted to emphasize that this IS something that happens when reports are made, and that you’re not making some crazy fuss for no reason.

I’m very sorry you had to go through this. I hope you are able to feel less anxious soon.

Second this. Call the police. They can investigate. You give the best description. They get photos of the employees that fit. Question them all. And if someone admits it then there ya go. It likely absolutely is assault and should be treated as if someone tried to steal your purse on the street. You shouldn't have to be afraid to go somewhere because of the actions of another. You shouldn't be punished because you're the victim.

I'm not a lawyer in any form or aspect but grabbing ur stuff like that when you didn't give permission....isn't that considered battery or assault? Also, I'm not criticizing anything you did, but perhaps the punishment that could have been inflicted on the employee would have been more severe if it was brought to managements attention right away. Hope this never happens to you again!

IANAL. It's not too late. The statute of limitations (simply the amount of time before something cant be charged anymore) is well longer than a few weeks.

Now, a crime almost certainly did occur if things happened as you say. So if you care about seeking redress (a civil way of saying "demanding payback") for this, you should do the following. Go to the store and stake it out until you find the guy and report him to the supervisor. Then demand he report this properly to corporate. This establishes a paper trail you'll need later. And follow-up the call with corporate to make sure they did.

Then go to the police. Report the crime, the store should be doing everything possible under the law to assist. Unfortunately I doubt the police will be motivated to move on this without that paper trail past filing the complaint against the store.

If you are going to seek monetary damages (I can't imagine they will be much, tbh), you'll still want that paper trail. You may be able to get some store credit from corporate for this if you push it and you don't have to involve the police.

Now that's assuming you care. Most that people post a story like this are asking for advice to find a solution or redress. Based on your responses in this thread, you do not seem particularly motivated to seek restitution.

So, if its the case that you don't care, ignore what I just said and I hope you feel better and can put this behind you soon.

Yes, probably assault, but it depends on the location. Probably false arrest as well, as the crime had not been committed yet if the OP was still browsing the aisles, as there was no probable cause. The likely depends on what state you are in though. There also may be other laws he broke as well. Fired should be the least of his worries in all honesty.

OP, I am sorry this happened to you. It shouldn’t have. Perhaps you could have your mom ask the store for employee pictures to look at to identify the jerk who did this?

This! I believed in giving people the chance to make amends for their mistakes. Have your mom write another letter to the store stating your intention to get the police involved if they don’t take appropriate action. I know in my jurisdiction it is illegal even accuse someone of theft without concrete evidence, simply believing they stole something is not good enough.

If they still don’t do anything go file the police report and talk to a lawyer.

Write up your experience in full detail, mention your age, post it to social media, and make sure you hashtag the grocery chain. I expect they will respond quickly, and will offer a full apology if not some compensation.

If you really want to get him in trouble, you could go back with your mom during the same day of the week and time that this incident happened. This is probably his regular shift and you could take a picture of him with your phone. Unfortunately, the manager seems to be indifferent, so you'd have to go higher up with it.

I am not a lawyer but I can tell you that what he did is 100% illegal in the United States. I don’t know what the potential for compensation would be, since there aren’t any physical damages, BUT I’m not familiar with what exactly that would involve, and especially since you’re a minor, what he did is much more serious I would think. If there is a potential for financial compensation, you could probably find a lawyer who would take the case for no money up front, if they thought you were likely to win.

If you do decide that you want to go that direction, you should ask on /r/legaladvice and they’d be able to better tell you what your chances are and how to go about it.

I’m not sure on all the state laws but I don’t think a shop clerk has the right to search someone anywhere in the US. They can ask to search your bag, they can call the police and have them do it, but I don’t think they have the right to just take it and search anywhere in the US.

As an aside, most retail stores have rules regarding this that are even stricter than the law to avoid any sort of liability (a $10 item is not worth the risk of the store having an injured employee or a lawsuit against them), so I’m really surprised the manager of this store wasn’t more interested in this. If one of my employees had done this when I worked retail, I would have had to write them up or fire them. Though it could be the manager knows who it is and just pretended not to with OP and her mom to see if that would help things just blow over.

OP, if this is a chain store, you can definitely escalate this matter to the district manager, I’m sure they’d be a little more accommodating, because they certainly don’t want their male employees harassing underaged girls in their stores.

If he grabbed you, it's assault. If he detained you, you have grounds for a kidnapping suit. Most grocery stores have awesome cameras. call a lawyer, have that lawyer send the store's office a letter demanding the footage in the understanding that, with the footage and half a million dollars, you won't file a police complaint, civil suit, and make an unholy fucking stink in the media.

He didn't grab me or detain me, and the people said they didn't have camera's. I'm not sure if its because the guy was annoyed at me, but I'm not sure... Also, I don't know how to get a lawyer, or how much a lawyer is...

Literally google "civil defense attorney near me." Any good one will talk with you for an hour, for free, and walk through if he/she should do something. If you have a case, they will often work on commission of the winnings from the case. If he took your bag without your consent, he probably touched you. That's assault. Get a lawyer. Fuck them up.

I'm not doubting you, but it's so hard for me to believe that in this day and age the store didn't have security cameras around. Sounds very fishy to me. I'd honestly call/write the corporate office of that company. Complain about the guy who dumped your purse and the manager who refused to do anything about it.

In a small store, even without cameras, the likelihood of them having multiple guys wearing earrings on the exact day and time you were detained is extremely unlikely. They're probably lying to you (at least either about the cameras or their plethora of dudes with black hair and earrings, or both!) and hoping you'll be naive/passive enough to let it go so they don't get in trouble - and it's entirely up to you how you want to respond to that.

If you'd rather forget about it and move on that's fine. If you want to go chat with a lawyer about your options, that's also fine. You could even make a police report, just so they have information that may help any future ladies this nutjob may unjustly harass in that store - and that would be fine. Do what feels right for you, and make a decision knowing the facts of the situation and what options you've got!

And I'm sorry you had to go through that, I would be horrified if someone grabbed my bag and accused me of stealing, let alone empty my personal items on the floor. What an arsehole of a person!!!

Hey, if it's any consolation anybody who saw this and was staring wasn't concerned with your menstrual products, they were more than likely absolutely appaled by his behavior. I understand why you were mortified at the implication of you stealing and having your privacy grossly violated and I'm sorry that happened to you.

This is exactly what I was going to respond with. It’s hard to fathom when you’re being violated and accused like that, but nobody was thinking negatively about you, and nobody cared about your tampons. They were likely staring because they were mortified for you.

I'm fairly certain he's not allowed to do this.... If you didn't consent to a search I think maybe he would've had grounds to call the police and have them do it telling them he had 'probable cause' to think you were stealing. But if you didn't consent to the search he probably could've detained you and waited for police but that's pretty much it.

A lot of people are covering the legal aspect of this, but I just want to say... Girl, do not be ashamed of your tampons! Literally every woman on this Earth bleeds, don't waste your time being embarrassed about something completely natural.

The only right response in such an event is show utter fury, demand to speak with the manager, threaten legal action and have this fucker fired. I would still go back, ask for the manager, inform him about what happened and if he asks why it took you three weeks, then you just tell him it was because you wanted legal advice first but that you want to give him the chance to sort this out first. Go for it. Don't let anyone fuck with you like that.

Also, if you feel embarrassed by your feminine product then fuck the society that makes you feel like that. Seriously, they are just things you need to use for your life and health. I can't speak for everyone but if that had happened in front of me I would have thought the security guard was a class A arsehole and not noticed what was in your purse at all.

Anyone who looked at your feminine products in such a way to make you feel embarrassed? Fuck them.

This happened to me once. A macys employee ran after me after I left the store and claimed I stole a dress, then grabbed and searched my purse which was in no way big enough to contain a dress. Then she gave it back and walked off in a huff, no apology.

I used to work in retail and we had plenty of training regarding how to deal with potential theft. That employee's actions were illegal and inexcusable and you have every right to press charges for such behavior. It is because of the potential of being sued for inappropriate mishandling or a false accusation that store employees are often not allowed to say or do anything directly. If there was suspicion of theft or we caught someone hiding something in their purse, backpack, etc., we could approach them and comment on the thing they've stolen. "Do you need any help? I know some pairs of jeans that go well with that belt you were looking at." The idea is to guilt them into giving up what they've stolen without a direct accusation that could lead to a customer retaliating on an employee. Believe me when I say many customers would be more than happy to cause a scene if an employee accused them of anything wrong, so this method protects the employee from any unpredictable response from the customer. That being said, there are theft prevention specialists who can be more confrontational. But any misunderstandings or direct approaches to potential thieves must be documented as part of their job, and a false accusation can result in store credit or some benefit for the inconvenience. At no point in any of this is anyone allowed to force you, as a customer, to empty your belongings or hand over your things unless actual police are involved or actual security footage proves you were stealing something. I would suggest not taking this sitting down. Your privacy was violated and there was a clear emotional impact from the event.

Sounds like a super terrible person. Sorry you had to experience that.

If it seriously bothered you, and you are comfortable with the idea, and aren't able to get legal/police action, consider drawing publicity to the event. If it is a larger store, consult a person higher up in management. If it's a smaller store, maybe go to a local news outlet. Public pressure over stuff like this can get a lot done.

you have grounds for a lawsuit - illegal false retention, Public humiliation, assault, and illegal search. All he is allowed to do is to take you to a holding room and call the cops. he can't search you, and certainly not in public. Much less embarrass you, and there is your grounds for a suit. So what to do? I would suggest writing them a nice letter to the affect of, "I'm going to suit the crap out of you. But I can be persuaded not to, if you deposit $10,000 into an account for me for my college fund." Effectively what you are saying is that you know you have grounds for a suit, you know you will win if you go to court, you know they will have to pay an unknown amount of money plus having to pay for their own lawyer and yours, but you are willing to settle and not sue, if they give you $10,000, which will be way less expensive and risky than going to court.

IOW, don't be scared. This idiot just handed you a golden plum in the form of an actionable lawsuit that you will win. - take it.

Is it a chain store? Call or email the corporate office. Tell them which store and a description of the employee. If someone in the store is trying to protect someone, get corporate on their ass-- they'll be breathing down that manager's neck for months.

Get with the manager at that store and report that shit. That is absolutely illegal and he should be reprimanded appropriately. I work in retail and if an employee did that, we would be furious, and would want to know!

If you are thinking of commenting on this post, DONT. THe OP I just posting a bunch of bullshit on different pages to troll the people of that page. OP is a fucking idiot. Also OP posted about her mother getting raped, and OP wanted to get her mother arrested. Just a fucking idiot out for attention