Cineman: DVD Reviews

Friday

Dec 28, 2007 at 12:01 AM

THE BROTHERS SOLOMON: Socially inept siblings played by Will Arnett of "Arrested Development" and screenwriter Will Forte try to rouse their comatose father by siring a grandchild in this flailing comedy.

THE BROTHERS SOLOMON

Socially inept siblings played by Will Arnett of "Arrested Development" and screenwriter Will Forte try to rouse their comatose father by siring a grandchild in this flailing comedy. Forced to enlist a surrogate mother (Kristen Wilig), they must reckon with her jealous boyfriend on top of their own inadequacies. The ratio of successful to unsuccessful gags might suffice for a sketch comedy show like "Saturday Night Live," from whence came Forte and Wilig, but there's too much dead air for the big screen. Even connoisseurs of off-the-wall humor will regret venturing to the Cineplex and absorbing the cost of a ticket. (R)

EASTERN PROMISES

David Cronenberg and Viggo Mortensen follow up "A History of Violence" with another mesmerizing thriller involving organized crime and a protagonist whose identity is in question. The death of teenager during childbirth leads a London midwife (Naomi Watts) to a Russian mob boss (Armin Muhler-Stahl) and his seedy underworld of sex-trafficking and Shakespearean tribal alliances. Written by Steve Knight ("Dirty Pretty Things"), the compact film tinkers with cultural and genre tropes without getting hung up on any one motif. It's an unforgettable work from a director at the height of his powers and a leading man who deserves the shiniest accolades. (R)

THE KINGDOM

Don't think this glibly gung-ho movie about FBI agents investigating an attack against Yankee civilians in Saudi Arabia is anything more than a routine cop thriller and action flick. There are no penetrating political insights into the war on terror or America's role in the Middle East. Only the amount of violence and shaky camerawork separate it from an episode of "CSI." Director Peter Berg and stars Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Gardner, and Jason Bateman shouldn't be ashamed of their television roots. But when Jeremy Piven (Ari from "Entourage") turns up in the desert playing a fast-talking diplomat, a line has been crossed. (R)

RUSH HOUR 3

Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker go through the motions of energizing the "Rush Hour" franchise, which began in 1998 when Chan still possessed the youthful vigor to execute eye-popping stunts and Tucker was enough of a soprano-voiced anomaly to induce involuntary laughs whenever he opened his mouth. Following an assassination attempt against a Chinese diplomat, the law-and-order duo is sent on a mission to Paris, where slapstick spills and predictable chase scenes end in a grand finale atop the Eiffel Tower. Their third and ostensibly last outing together is hobbled by less physical action and a lack of apparent joy. (PG-13)

THE HEARTBREAK KID

The Farrelly Brothers reach new lows in their adaptation of Neil Simon's 1972 film. Along with discovering a new bodily orifice to ravage (the nose), they create a truly repugnant hero and try using misogyny to make him seem endearing. Ben Stiller plays a passive-aggressive, faux nice-guy who marries the love of his life (Malin Akerman), tires of her when she turns psycho on their honeymoon (as all women do, the Farrellys Brothers would have us believe), and immediately fixates on a new gal (Michelle Monaghan). Belittling half the population doesn't render this jerk palatable or their movie funny. (R)

THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM

One of the few summer movie franchises popular with both audiences and critics draws to a close as amnesiac spy Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) finally learns the truth about his origins and attempts to take down his former CIA masters once and for all. The globe-spanning story takes our hero from Moscow to London and then Morocco before depositing him on the streets of the Big Apple. In every city, he indulges in beautifully staged action sequences involving an extensive amount of property damage and close-quarters combat. For sheer kinetic spectacle, this movie beats the pants off any cartoonish blockbuster. (PG-13)

SUPERBAD

"Superbad" is super gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Credit goes to any mainstream comedy bold enough to celebrate what feels like a romance between two high school chums. Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) experience separation anxiety while preparing to attend different colleges in the fall. Putting their fears aside, they plan a final fling that entails the usual — girls and booze. Overlong and surprisingly unoriginal, "Superbad" spews endless profanities to hide its abuse of the conventional John Hughes template. Both actors fit comfortably into the odd-couple mold, but vital energy is wasted driving a wedge between them. (R)

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

Much is amiss with the chosen wizard and the actor portraying him; neither looks comfortable in their own skin. Growing up has been a long, draining process and there are still two movies to go! Year 5 at Hogwarts proves inconclusive and enervating as an officious new teacher (Imelda Staunton) — a pink-loving cross between Margaret Thatcher and Hilary Clinton — lends Dickensian touches, and Harry is shunned for claiming Lord Voldemort has returned. Although he assumes adult responsibilities, Harry's prophetic nightmares only foretell an anticlimactic duel. Very little is risked, and the saga's narrative progression stalls. (PG-13)

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END

Forget "Shiver me timbers!" or any other rousing pirate jargon. The creative equivalent of scurvy has set in on the third leg of this blockbuster voyage. Filmed at the same time as last summer's "Dead Man's Chest," the listless movie rations action and humor, and goes on for nearly three hours to boot. After rescuing Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from Davy Jones' Locker, Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), Will (Orlando Bloom) and Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) find themselves at cross-purposes while battling forces of the East India Company. If they could look down from the screen, they'd find sleepy moviegoers. (PG-13)

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD

John McClane may be a "Timex watch in a digital world," but because he's been cast from the American cowboy mold, he'll keep on ticking long after the high-tech baddies. In the fourth "Die Hard," he protects a hacker (Justin Long) during a cyber attack on the nation, while the virtual villain (Timothy Olyphant) snatches his daughter. Long, violent and much like the video games it eschews, this summer shoot-'em-up has the required body count and one-liners. No matter how chaotic things get, we're safe with wry cops like McClane on the job. Overkill by this hero is entertaining. (PG-13)

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