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Monday, June 8, 2009

It’s 1 am. You’ve been slamming back brew dogs with your bros for like 7 hours and have a ridiculously nice buzz going. Up to this point it has been a perfect night, but now it’s time to break out the charm on some lucky slam piece. That’s when you spot her dancing in a circle with her friends. The target. As the DJ blares Lady Gaga, you slowly make your way over to the circle. Then, just at the part of the song where Lady Gaga breaks it down, you make your move. Without making eye contact or much less even talking to the girl, you saddle up right behind her, wrap your arm around her stomach and start swing your hips back and forth with her. Let the grind begin. Who says romance is dead?

Typically, unless there is a competition involving a circle of bros chanting and yelling out, “Oh no he didn’t!!” when some sick move is broken out, bros don’t like to dance. Bros generally prefer to be in the background watching and making fun of all the people who are dancing. But bros know fully well, the best way to the bedroom is through the dance floor, and what better way to get your slam piece in the mood than by a dance simulating sex.

I’m not really sure who invented grinding, probably a Black dude, but whatever its fucking awesome. I remember going to my first high school mixer as a 14 year old freshman and seeing a couple “dancing.” The guy was standing up straight and not moving at all while the girl was in grinding position but was bent over touching her toes gently swaying back and forth. This was a little different from my middle school dances where pushing the envelope meant everyone doing the Will Smith “Men In Black” dance. Regardless, I loved the new discovery

One of the great things about grinding is that sometimes bros will get a half-chub or maybe even full-chub. Bros can do one of two things when the chub arrives. They can hide it by smoothly reaching down and doing the “tuck up” by putting it in their waistband, or they can do what I love to do: just fucking going for it. By rubbing your chub up on the girl you are telling her two things: 1. “I’m not impotent” 2. “I would like to have sex with you.” This will often help you bypass any small talk you would normally have to suffer through and move things directly to the bedroom. Girls probably love it when guys get chub. It’s pretty much the best compliment they could ever receive. And honestly, I don’t want to hear any bras out there saying, “I hate it when random guys grind on me” because you are full of shit. If you don’t want guys to grind on you, you should either get really fat or you shouldn’t wear what you are wearing.

66 comments:

Dave
said...

Great Post. As a bro, I find it excruciatingly painful trying to feign interest in conversation with random, stupid bras. Grinding is the perfect way to skip the bullshit small talk and get right to what we both want - me jamming my erect penis into her genitals.

Completely agree bro - I hate wasting time with all the pointless questions like "Where did you go to college," "What do you do for a living," etc. when the only question I really want answered is "What do you look like naked?"

I would also like to add that the dimmer the lights the better. As the saying goes "It all feels the same when the lights are out", this directly applies to the field of grinding. Not only do you get to sport wood with what you are pretending to be a "dime", but you also get to raise some unattractive girls self-esteem. Bam! Two for Two. Bros are the shit.

Another great place to implement the "tuck up" - Church. Bros love undressing the female parishioners with their eyes on Christmas and Easter, aka the only days bros are forced to actually go to Church.

I like to refer to grinding as "Outercourse" for obvious reasons. I'll just ram my erect dick into various regions of the bras clothed body, but my favorite outercourse move is from behind. As I am gently caressing my dick against her bulbous A it always makes me wonder what kind of expression the bra has on her face at the time. I don't give a fuck if her facial expression looks like McLovin's while he's pumping cheeks or the one he makes after he gets CB'ed, I always take it one step further and go for the under the arms titty grope, which if accepted I try to turn into the slow rubbing of the box. I love tweezing box at the bar, usually best done if the bra is facing a wall and not any of her friends. When you got that bitch from behind you can maneuver her in any direction you please like fucking Dale Earnhardt. Now, if the bra is into this then get the fuck out of the bar as fast as possible and fuck that beatiful bitch at any location necessary.

I just stood up in my office and applauded BroKingNJ. It suck's that you're probably a dumb guido from New Jersey. But you've got the right idea. BTW. Chicks don't dig greasy wanna-be Italians anymore!

grinding with random bros is great, but the chub is not so great. def. stick with the tucking of the waistband (we think it's hot because if your shirt lifts up we get a sneak peak of what's to come that night...literally) and you should be in. -bra

I might just be my ultamate bro genes but when i get a half chub while ginding i never tuck it up. I let it rage and grind harder untill that bra turns around with a look that says "I know whats in your pants and i want it in my mouth". Then i say "you want to get out of here" and I slam her out in the bathroom for 21 minets then never talk to her again.

A violent raging boner is the only way to grind on a hot chick, go bro or go home. Grinding on a fine piece with a 40' of olde english 800 and wood like a redwood tree is the best way to pay homage to the great bro-sieden

I fucking never tuck my shit. Not even at the office. After dosing off at my desk for a while, until my dick thinks its 7am again and goes full chub morning wood style, I get up, raise my arms stretching for the ceiling right in front of corner-cubicle slut so she can see how fucking stacked I am. I fucking roll my sleeves up so she can see how ripped and veiny my forearms are and then just walk away without saying shit to that bitch so she knows I'm not giving a fuck about her or how her day is going. I'm going to grind the hell our of her at the holiday party this year.

Thats fucking insulting to see a bro insult a fellow bro for where he comes from, plus, I'm from fucking NJ and we are all purebloods(aka not guidos) and love being bros. A bro is a bro no matter from where.

grinding is the best! this one time at my frat party when i was totally wasted i decided to grind on random bitches. after going through about 10 sluts i came across this hot piece of ass. of course i started grinding with her and she gave me a ragin boner in no time. a few minutes later she turned around, jumped up and wraped her legs around me. being completely wasted i fell over onto a small stage with a stripper pole in out frat house, with her legs still wraped around me. we then start fucking in the middle of my frat party on stage with all of my bros to watch.

I agree, nailing a girl with your chub is definately the best, I never ever perform the northern tuck and never will. If girls have a problem with your boner, which I don't know why they would, that is totally their problem.

Another bro way to play a grind chub goes as such. If you're workin on a slam piece on the dance floor and you can tell that she notices your wood, just act like it's nothing out of the fucking ordinary. In doing so, you send her the message that you're ready to go, she's just gotta give you the go ahead to take the safety off. If she a dumbass bra and needs more convincing to go slam, just guilt her into it by saying that she'll give you blue balls if she doesn't do her fucking job.

First off, i just wanna say all u bros got it right. I'd just like to take a minute to visit the topic of the proper attire to sport while experiencing the grinding. Every bro wants to throw on some jeans at the beginning of the night, tryin to look a little bit classy for the ladies, but when it comes time to move up behind that girl, you realize how much you regretted that decision. BBALL SHORTS, always the way to go. A nice slim material, also smooth, so it slides up and down nicely. I would just like to also add that if you choose to wear a belt, you might as well light your balls on fire and drop a knife down ur pants before u start grinding.

For all you bros out there I have discovered an acurate point system for grinding. It envolves getting to 26 points once you have recived these points you now know its time to get down tto business. You get 1 point everytime she reaches back and grabs your head/hands, 2 points everytime she bends over/ dirty dancing, 3 points everytime she makes out with you, 10 points everytime she she grabs the D if she does this it usaully means its about that time. However you lose 5 points everytime she talks to friends and 3 points if she talks to another dude. So watch out for that.

Couldnt have said it better myself bro.. i got a fat chub the other night while rubbin my shit up on a delicious blonds booty and just went with it, she loved it! and was gabbin it all night...its better to let it fly and look like a boss then to try and tuck it up and come off as embarrassed and not confident with your piecee

IF she isn't down when your grinding your medium-bendable on her then the hope of getting the "toothless blowjob" is gone. But, if she's down then skipping the meaningless blunder is totally automatic.

the story of grinding should begin and end with high school. grinding on girls past high school and into college and beyond is for fucking jabronis who never learned to dance. As some bro mentioned earler see wedding crashers for an example of how true bros take a girl from the dancefloor to the bedroom

Good call bro, as a fellow broseph I completely concur and the discovery of the grind has been a very progressive for bros all over the world - Me and all bros raise our glasses to the inventor of the grind

fucking right, bros love grinding. not only does it feel good but it gives you mad cred with fellow bros. one time i was at a party with my bros, and all of a sudden this slam piece that i had a feeling liked me asked me to dance. sounded good, anything for a good griding session, right? WRONG. she proceeded to lead me on to the dance floor, only to FACE me while she danced. i looked at her like she was peyton manning when he threw that shitty excuse for a pass at the superbowl this year. WHAT THE FUCK?? this is the 21st century, and i'm a bro. you better believe we are fucking griding or im getting off the fucking dance floor. i actually proceeded to tell her that we should "dance like everyone else here" which was grinding of course. problem averted.

As a bra, we enjoy grinding our asses into some dude's D; however, watch out if we start talking with friends while dancing. That means we are scoping out for someone more bro. Also, try different maneuvers. Anyone tool can rub themselves against someone. Personally, I get a kick out of when a bro varies it up. It gives us a sense off what he's like in the bedroom.

fuck yeah, grinding with a hot ass girl u haven't even spoken a word to yet reels in great bro points. Plus you're the fuckin sickest bro of the night when if u manage to take her upstairs and disappear until the next morning. As far as boners, some might call it weird, but if you're already dancing that hardcore, you know she wants it. Besides the only people on the dancefloor who know are u and her.

Okay so i never heard of this website like two weeks ago and i have read many of the "bro likes" and i find them completley awesome just explaining my life in full detail. grinding on some random hoesky is my job catching a hard on is the best part cuz they look to see who you are or what u look like and there down to pund right then and there cuz they know people like us bros are just fucking awesome

Senior week at fucking OCMD a few slam pieces actually had a competition going to see who could suck the most dicks. I was staying in a house with 5 of my bros and obviously none of those sluts left our place without adding 6 more to their total. They probably just did this as an excuse for the fact that they were going to blow us all anyway. The cumguzzling slam piece who finally won the competition sealed the deal by lining up 5 random guys from the boardwalk and going to town on each one before puking on the last guy's cock because she was so wasted. Hopefully she got smacked for that. In retrospect "5 Guys" would have been a good name for her, but the burger place didn't exist yet. Her name was Liz, so one of my bros started calling her Line 'em up Liz, and shortly after that the whole fucking world started calling her that. Probably even her mom and dad. The bitch is a doctor now but still the name sticks. Also she's fucking married. I wish I could be there when her kids ask her fucking loser husband who is no doubt infested with no less than 57 STDs how he met their mom and he has to tell them he took a fucking number and waited outside the Motel 6 bathroom for an hour. Fucking sluts. Final score: Bros 8==>, Slam Pieces 0.

My fucking dick is entirely too big to not tuck. Even at half chub it's painful in pants to stand up, let alone grind. As a bro, I fucking love to grind and it definitely is the best way to bypass small talk. I don't give a fuck about what your major is. The tuck is necessary. It also simulates the up and down motion on your dick if the bra can actually dance which feels fucking fantastic. It's a good way to see if this bra is even worth fucking. As a bro I realize that I am the fucking prize here, not her, and if she is lucky she may get to see it tucked sitting well above the lining of my pants. Dry humping a bra by trying to jam your erect cock in her through your pants is middle school shit.

iright im 15 and i go to these teen bashes wit a couple of fellow friends from hs at dis club called la vela and da age limit is like 17 so were chillen and this hot bra wearin some heels and short shorts asks me to dance i think she was like 16 or 17 buh we get out their and we start gridin ...before u say shit i aint no rookie..but back to convo so we grindin and she starts to look at me like she had uh gasim and she grabs my hands and starts to rubbin on her cooch then she grabs my legs and starts to pull on me like im thrustin after a couple songs she turns around grinds on my leg then i say wat u wanna do den we lef like at 1 and walked on da beach after dat we did sumtin i aint got know buisness doin lol. and i aint talked to her since.(:

A couple weekends ago I was at a #112 Barbie & Ken party. Since I was #109 wearing true religions being #135 and #38. A #101/#96 younger chick that was visiting her sister at my school introduced herself to me and then proceeded to #29 grind on me while making me grab her #69 fake tits, we then made out and started going at it in the very center of the apartment... also we were the only people at this entire 75 plus people party that were dancing.

As a 'bra' and a fat one at that I find it hilarious that most of you comment if we don't want you grinding on us then we should get fat. I have had more lovers since I got fatter than I ever did when I was skinny. Why, because they now got something to hold onto. As for the grinding try doubling up, you might both get lucky then.

First, as a fat girl, you have no rights, thus please refrain for posting on the internet. Second, i don;t understand why you are content being fat, your only job as a fat chick is to end terrible slumps. I bet you have hot friends so that guys have to "slay the beast" (you), so that their friends can get some.

I was at our homecoming dance a while ago with some bros and then we all started grinding some notorious sluts. Naturally, I didn't just stop there. I took my bros tie and tied this chick to me around our waists. She laughed and double tied the knot. Bros fucking rule.

As a bra, grinding is awesome but if your dicks a little guy, back off when you get the chub cause then you definitely have no chance...we can tell the size of a guys dick from griding (size matters boys)

But even for non-bros, there's no such thing as a dude with a small dick - there are only slampieces with loose pussies. It's great that you're enough of a generous whore to be a receptacle for so many different bro-loads, but eventually that snatch will start to stretch out like a three-year-old frat sweatshirt. In the old days, you'd have to start letting guys put it in the pooper to stay in the game. But luckily for you, the plastic surgery industry has once again come to the rescue of bras everywhere by inventing vaginoplasty.

Take a cue from today's pornstars and get a chop-doc to tighten that box back up, ho. No guy likes throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

As a bra-NOTHING more arousing then feeling a hard D on you. Whenever a guy comes up to grind all i'm thinking is "damn, get hard for me". If you want a chick wet and ready then let her feel it, all of it. Tip: try whispering sexy shit in her ear. The feeling of the hot breath dancing across my skin is like a fuckin' mini orgasm. Nothing sexier than confident bro giving it to your from behind.

Last time I got a chub as I was grinding on some piece that bitch turned around started making out with me and stuck her hand down my pants. That night turned to be very eventfull. Never will I tuck my chub.

Great grinding story: Was at a awesome concert and looking around for a hot slam piece to grind then pound. All of a sudden, as if from the heavens, a random drunk girl drops from crowd surfing. She falls to some white kid who starts begging her to dance with him, she does for like 2 minutes. She takes one look at me (I was standing right next to them) and says "You're not one of these white guys", to which I respond "no I'm black". She then leaves her guy and proceeds to dance with me. She's gettin sexy and I'm grabbing on her tits and shit, when she asks "are you 21?", to which I respond "yeah". We keep dancing and at this point, I got some major chub goin on and I'm not hiding it. She whispers to me "Wanna get a drink or something?". I agree except instead of going to the bar, we go to the guys bathroom, where I proceed to fuck her brains out. I ask her how old she is and in between her moans/she tells me she's 24. I finish and leave, no name, no number. Funny thing is I'm 18 hahahaha

Dear Bros: all chicks want you to grind on them. Period. It's flattering and it's sexy and we didn't wear the push up bra, thong and short skirt for nothing. HOWEVER most girls do like to at least see you before you start grinding on them to make sure you are a true bro and not some creep. Also, if she makes eye contact back, you're in.

Another tip: the type of friends a girl is with is a big tip. If a hottie's with a lot of prudes, you're gonna have to separate her from the pack so she doesn't have to deal with them glaring at her. On the other hand, if they're all babes and half are already grinding, chances are the rest are up for it too.

Grinding is the shit, I allowed some bra to come to prom because of her fantastic ass, That hoe didnt feel like grinding, so i go grab my other slampiece, and while keeping eyecontact with my date, i fingerfucked some other bitch while grinding her ass.

ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!they can hear and see what your visually thinking

the reason alot of asians have completely expressionless faces, only associate with asians and dont associate with non asians very much is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read read minds, if all over a billion asians were to show facial expressions all the time just as much as non asians, associate with non asians much more, and be much more friendly and talkative, then alot of them might accidentally reveal that they can read minds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they dont like or find astonishing or funny, and if they were all to associate with non asians alot more there would be alot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those other people think things they dont like, so they only associate with asians so there wont be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place

think about it, its not normal how alot of them act, and the entire way they act is all to hide their mind reading abilities, it makes perfect sense to do all of that to hide that they can read minds, because all of that is the perfect way to do it!every single asian on the planet is hiding their mind reading abilities, they value hiding their mind reading abilities more then their own lives!thats why nobody knows about it!

try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something something absolutely crazy as you possibly can when you are around asians, and try looking for asians who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason, that is them giving people looks when they hear and visually see someone thinking something they dont like, find funny or astonishingit still happens despite a large number of them having completely expressionless faces all the time, it would just happen alot more if none of them had completely expressionless faces all the time, its not uncommon!

i know this sounds crazy, impossible, and completely unbelievable, BUT IT ISNT CRAZY WHEN ITS TRUE

I dont know what ya'll are talking about, the tuck up is genius, if you havent noticed slam pieces can feel the tuck up (unless your chinese or some shit). It feels amazing when you do. and if the bitchiz short then its hard as fuck to get down there with your chub.

Just had my prom last week. Took a girl who does dance as her hobby, awesome ass, great legs. So when she grinded on me? Boner achieved. It was awesome until my dick somehow ended up straight to the left and it was just killing me

Dude me too just went to prom a couple of days ago i met this hot girl soon as we started dancing she was grinding after a little while i got a boner so i thought to hide it but then i said FUCK IT she liked it and she started to bend over and look back at me. Best thing ever invented GRINGING

i know i'm just a dumb bra, but this post is so right. i love it when random bros just come up behind me and start grinding on me on the dance floor, i dont even need to see the bro, i just love it when he starts rubbing his dick on me. and a boner is a must, i love feeling a bros boner. i also have to give total respect to BroKingNJ because he talked about the under arm tit grab. i love it!

Ok just had homecoming couple days ago, and i have have to say tht i completly underestimated the girls in our school. I was expecting myself to easily go behind a woman and grind the hell out of her with no worries, it turned out it apperently wasnt like tht at all. All the times i grinded on someone they either stoped and left, or i had to stop cuz they kept giving me glances like, "What the fuck r u doing on me ya no life?" Infront of me was a grind train with a gap in it, seizing the oportunity i jumped on in and grinded like there was no tommorow, both girls infront and behind me STOPPED and LEFT. Can u plz explain to me, what the heeeell happened?

In my experience, you get the best grind when you are not even trying. I was at a bar straight up getting my dance on, on the dance floor of course. I noticed this cute Hispanic looking woman was dancing in front of me. Now whether she made her way to me to avoid the guy bothering her or because I'm 100% #109, I'm not sure. But what I do know is that she laid it down and it threw me the hell off, I didn't even know she had it in her nor could I even guess. A small skinny woman, but she laid it out better than I've had on the floor in years. She was shaking those hips, rotating, turning around, going down, hair all up in my face with that D untucked and raging, my hands on her hips and pulling her closer. She loved it and so did I. But then a security guard came and interrupted the moment to tell me to put my shirt back on over my under shirt. And then she was gone.

Moral of the story: keep your shirt on, the Doctor untucked, and don't let little stuff stand in the way of a smooth bra and her smooth moves.