Cart

If All You Know Is What You Don’t Want…

If All You Know Is What You Don’t Want…

If all you know is what you don’t want, you will get more of it.

That idea never gets old for me. It’s based on the fact that our ability to pay attention is limited, and that our nervous system is wired for relevancy. So whatever you pay attention to, your brain will illustrate it for you consistently.

As an observer and student of human nature, I confess that I like knowing about and understanding the dark side of people, the lesser angels of our nature. I want to understand not just who we aspire to be, but also who we believe ourselves to be.

I noticed a long time ago that this Earth is a hard, hard place for the human race. Fear and stress tend to bring out the worst in us, in some people more, in some people less, but in all of us to some degree. And I think it’s good to pay attention, be self directed and be resourceful when contemplating the challenges of the world around us, and specifically when engaging with our fellow human beings.

That dark side is something that all human beings have in common. So in an ironic way, we are united by one of the very things that divide us.

Now, I don’t want to sound negative about this. And I don’t have to, so we’re in luck! Because if there is a choice to be made between the difficulty of life and the desire for fulfillment, knowing what you do want can bring you back into the light, where you’ll find the better angels of human nature, including yours, I’ve observed that there is that most everyone, given a chance, chooses to be happy and live a good life. Everybody else could be kept out of positions of authority, and otherwise left to their own business.

Rick is a best selling author and the founder of the Art of Change Skills for Life. His book titles include, Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to bring out the best in people at their worst, Life by Design and Influence and the Art of Persuasion. These days he is spending quality time away from the spotlight enjoying the company of his wife and practicing his electric guitar.