Sometimes we make crucial mistakes in our relationships or form snap judgements without thinking through the consequences. Whether you’re trying seek forgiveness or change a platonic relationship into a romantic one, changing a woman’s opinion about you can be difficult. Understanding how women make decisions and who she is as an individual can help you change her perspective. However, respect and open communication are the keys to ensuring that both of you get a clear understanding of one another.

Steps

Part 1

Understanding the Science Behind Her Decision Making

1

Be cognizant of how hormones can affect a woman’s mood. Be aware that hormone levels can affect her energy and mood; however, don’t be rude and ask or assume a woman’s choices are solely based on her hormones. Always be respectful and openly ask her how she came about her decision.

If you know her well enough, understand that progesterone levels can have calming effects and usually rise a week after ovulation. Testosterone and estrogen levels are higher during ovulation and can cause a woman to have more energy and her mood to be on the sassier side.[1]

When progesterone is withdrawn from the body, women can easily be irritated. Similarly, her mood can be negatively affected 12-24 hours before her period starts.

2

Control your non-verbal cues. Studies have shown that women are able to read nonverbal cues, such as facial expression and tone of voice, better than men.[2] Be genuine in the emotions you’re trying to convey and you will have a better chance in changing her mind. You may not realize it but your body language may give off any ulterior motives you may have.

3

Do not physically or verbally get aggressive. Using intimidation, either physical or verbal, is wrong and abusive. If any thoughts of this nature creep into your mind, remove yourself from the situation and consult a professional!

While you are allowed to get angry, research has shown that women will act to nullify the threat that you’re presenting through manipulation.[3] Just because you get the response you’re looking for, doesn’t mean that she is being sincere. Anger and aggression should be avoided.

4

Lower the stress in her life. Studies have shown that women are more sensitive to stress and anxiety. If she is already stressed over another aspect in her life, it may not be the best time to add another source of stress with your appeal to change her mind. Understand how she responds to anxiety.
[4]

5

Don’t become unresponsive or stonewall her. A negative response may sometimes be better than no response because women will at least know that you’re engaged and invested emotionally. Women are sensitive to interpersonal cues so blank expressions or being stonewalled can escalate an already negative situation.[5]

Part 2

Getting out of the Friend Zone

1

Understand that friendship and dating are different. The rules and expectations that govern how you communicate with her should be different. If you want to change her mind and get her to view you romantically, do not continue to abide by friendship dynamics.[6]

2

Be honest about your feelings. Is a romantic relationship what you actually want? Could you stand losing her friendship? Do not be friends with a female in hopes that you can change her mind about you. This is unfair to her as friendships should be based on trust and respect.

3

Communicate respectfully and openly that you’d like for your friendship to become romantic. The best way to change her mind about you as more than a friend is to be direct. There is no sense in trying to manipulate her or trying to wait her out. If she declines your romantic overtures and wishes to stay friends, respectfully decline.[7]

Your emotions may be too raw after you have been rejected to maintain a friendship. A friendship is based on mutual support and respect. Ask yourself if you can truly give that to her after you have clearly expressed that you see her as more than a friend. Can you still be friends with her if she is dating someone else?

Part 3

Understanding Her as an Individual

1

Talk to her friends and family. Help her change her opinion about you by learning more about her. Respectfully approach her friends and family and tell them that you’d like to learn more about her. Be open and honest with your intentions and they will better understand how to help you.

Do not present yourself as someone who you are not. This will certainly make things worse if she finds out that you have manipulated those close to her to get your way.

2

Don’t try to read her mind. Be direct when stating your case. Don’t assume that she thinks one way about you. Always respectfully ask and thank her for letting you know her opinion. Open communication is the easiest way to get her to change her opinion about you.[8]

3

Listen to what she is saying. Are you listening to respond or are you truly hearing what she is saying? Actively listen to her and ask questions to make sure that you understand what you’ve heard. Don’t be distracted by outside factors. Look for a quiet place or ask to schedule a meeting to ensure that both of you are mentally and emotionally present.[9]

4

Observe nonverbal cues. Be present when you are communicating with her. Do not get distracted by your surroundings. More importantly, take in her facial expressions and how her body responds throughout your communication. Take in the entirety of her message to ensure you are clearly it.[10]

5

Be respectful of culture and/or religion. She may have formed an opinion about you based on her values. Religion and culture may play into her decision making so be respectful of this process. If you do not understand her value system, communicate openly and honestly so you don’t offend her with any ignorant retorts.

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Community Q&A

If the situation is not intense or she is not angry with you, you can crack some jokes about the situation or something else. If it is an intense situation or she is angry with you, apologize and give her a little space before trying to make her smile.

How do I deal with a situation in which there is a lot of conflict and my girlfriend keeps telling me it's over?

wikiHow Contributor

When a woman says it's over and you know you are in the wrong, then leave to create space for understanding of a situation. Time can heal all wounds and both individuals can grow with time apart. If she doesn't come back, it means the situation was very serious if there were no attempts to make amends.

I love a girl who won't accept me because I'm divorced. What should I do?

wikiHow Contributor

Divorces happen for a variety of reasons. If it happened as a result of what your previous partner did, explain that to her. If it happened because of you being in the wrong, be open and honest about it and prove that whatever happened in the previous relationship won't happen if she were to be with you. Some women see divorces as a red flag because they think it'll be a repeat of whatever happened that went wrong last time. Just be a good person, and if you truly have changed your ways (if it was your fault the previous relationship ended badly), prove her wrong.

Tell her that you love her and then read her body language, paying attention particularly to her shoulders. If she seems happy, she probably loves you, but if she seems uncomfortable, confront her about it.

I love a girl, but when I told her, she said she is not ready to be in a relationship right now, what should I do to change her mind?

wikiHow Contributor

If you really love her, you can be patient. Tell her that you respect her decision and you'd like to just be friends for now. Then just be someone she can count on. When she is ready to be in a relationship, you'll be there.

I really want to win the heart of the girl I love. I've liked her for over a year by now, but have made no progress with her because I'm terrible at having conversations with her and her friends. What should I do?

Tips

Don’t manipulate her or force her to change her mind. She should be free to form her own opinions about your true nature.

Always be respectful and authentic with how you feel. She will appreciate that you have put yourself out there.

Warnings

If she has a negative opinion about you, do not get defensive and try to ruin her reputation. This is petty and immature. The best thing for you to do is have a civil conversation and try to listen to her side and ask her to form another opinion after she has spoken to you.

Abuse should never be tolerated by anyone. If her opinion of you becomes abusive, report this to a professional. For example, if she tells your coworkers that you are lazy, report it to your supervisor or HR department. Conversely, never lash out in resentment or follow your temper. Physical or verbal abuse should never be an option.