FOR THOSE of us born outside of wartime, our most terrifying childhood experience was probably Saturday evenings behind the sofa hiding from the Daleks.

LOST INNOCENCE: A boy places a flower in front of the Carillon café in Paris

The internet age has introduced a new frontier to parenting though, and dangers from which it is almost impossible to protect our children. Pornography, paedophiles, cyberbullying... and now global terror delivered to them through social media sites filled with horrifying images of atrocities we could previously censor by simply switching off the news.

The effect on developing minds has been so acute that children as young as nine have been calling ChildLine terrified they will be the victim of a terrorist attack after the massacre in Paris played out live and unfiltered across the internet.

“I have heard IS are in the UK and planning an attack,” one 12-year-old told a counsellor.

“I don’t feel safe any more and am having nightmares. These worries are in my mind all the time and I can’t get them out.”

Even when children are young enough to have their online activity policed, there are few ways to shield them from the information to which everyone else is exposed now that anyone with a broadband connection is effectively living in cyberspace.

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Pornography, paedophiles, cyberbullying... and now global terror delivered to them through social media sites filled with horrifying images of atrocities we could previously censor by simply switching off the news

“I do everything I can to prolong my daughter’s innocence,” says PR director Kirsty Lewis, mother of Scarlett, 11, who is in her first year of secondary school.

“She’s just been given a mobile phone for emergency use only; isn’t allowed even to charge it in her bedroom where we can’t see what she’s doing with it and when friends come around they have to leave their devices in a basket in the hall.

“Yet Scarlett came home from school a few days ago asking if the world was going to end.

"It was the day Turkey shot down the Russian fighter jet and ‘World War III’ was trending on Twitter so everyone in the playground was talking about it.

“She thinks the terrorists are going to come here and even though I was able to reassure her they’re probably not that interested in West Norwood, she then started panicking because I work in London and she’s worried I may get blown up on the Tube.”

GETTY

The massacres have left our youngsters in fear of war

Psychotherapist Alison Roy, at the Association of Child Psychotherapists, points out: “The Paris massacre has had a particularly destabilising affect because we saw the young killing the young.

"Suddenly the world our children thought they understood became dangerous. And it happened in a place many of them have visited that looks and feels like home.

"So everything they thought was safe was gone.” Alison says it is vital to check your own feelings and anxieties before engaging with children who are distressed by a world they cannot control.

“You can never predict what a child will ask yet your reaction to it will dictate how reassured they feel."

Victims of the Paris attacks

Mon, November 16, 2015

The victims who have been confirmed dead in the Paris terror attacks have been named.

“They look to adults to make sense of the world for them and outsource their safety to their parents, so as long as you give the impression you can still protect them it will help restore their sense of security.

“For the same reason, it’s important that routine is maintained so they can see their life hasn’t changed even though everything seems to have shifted.

"You need to be able to say, ‘Yes, there are some scary things in the world, but we’re in a safe place’.”

“Older children can see for themselves what’s happening and even very young children can pick up signals such as whispered conversations; concerns about whether it’s really a good idea to go Christmas shopping; shocked reactions to news bulletins.

"Find a way to tease out their concerns: ask ‘Do we want to draw a picture, write a story, talk to a teacher?’

"Is there anything they can do to help? Being useful empowers children and helps them feel more in control and less threatened about the outside world coming in.”

GETTY

A boy looks at a drawing at the Human Rights Square in Bordeaux

Be a contained responder: Ask them questions: “Why do you think that?” so you can put their fears in perspective:

“Yes, it’s true, some people do hurt each other, sometimes there are wars but this is a world event exactly because it’s rare. And even though it involved young people, so many more of our young people are thoughtful and empathic it proves this isn’t the norm.”

Remind them of a time they found difficult and that they came through it.

Limit exposure: Primary school age children are hyper alert but their sense of arousal hasn’t been regulated so keep them away from distressing images and information as much as possible.

But if older children want to see what’s going on, sit with them while they watch the news so they know you’re there to take care of them as their brains are processing this scary information.

Be careful about your language: “Talking in terms of enemies and bad guys reinforces the notion of the bogeyman they fear,” says Alison.

“And don’t encourage children to take sides; it only confuses them further.” With older children, however, it can be helpful to explore their opinions.

World unites: PrayersForParis

Fri, November 27, 2015

The world has united in an act of solidarity in tribute to the victims of the Paris terror attacks. Landmarks around the world have been lit in blue, white, and red to symbolise the French flag.

French President Francois Hollande (C) attends with French members of governement (back) the

“Young people don’t need to be rescued from everything,” says Alison.

Observe behavioural changes: Watch out for sudden changes in behaviour that signal distress a child may not be able to communicate, particularly with eating or sleeping. “Pay attention to play,” says Alison.

“Many children I saw around the time of 9/11 built tall towers of Lego and sent them crashing down.

"This time they may become aggressive and have dolls and teddies bashing each other. Join in their play to try to understand what it means and help them put things back together to reinforce the idea you can deal with the chaos, that they’re looked after.