Cycle 12 Episode 1 PICTURES.

The pictures are here! If you want the pictures, go to http://antmc12.blogspot.com. I’m just going to be linking from my photobucket, and if you steal them from me, my bandwith will be exceeded. SO DON’T DO IT.

I’ll do this format exactly the same as I have in the past! First of all… here’s the group shot, pre-makeovers:

Cycle 12.

I hate to admit it, but my eye does straight to Bitchy McBitch Sandra. With the exception of that Celia picture, I have to say that they all look nice together in a group.

So, the photos. First of all, this was one of the worst shoots in the history of. America’s. Next. Top. Model. Not one girl had the sheer brilliance of Marjorie’s ‘Voting is Sexy’ photo. Heck, not even one girl had any sort of brilliance. A few of the pictures worked, but almost everyone was completely mediocre. My commentary is going to be particularly biting BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?! ALMOST EVERYONE IS JUMPING. For those who weren’t aware… photos where models jump piss me off. I’ve never seen anyone doing a Saleisha Great Wall in Vogue, so I think it’s ridiculous when a girl gets praised for it. In this photoshoot, it works… Sort of.

Fo(Licia)- Ring Around the Rosie

She’s jumping… but it WORKS for this. Her face is just exuding such a warmth and childlike exuberance and it’s really adorable. I want to know why the FUCK they photoshopped her freckles out though. Those would make her even more endearingly kiddish.

Celia- Hula-Hooping

The closeup of this will not be celebrated, guaranteed. If this was supposed to be a beauty shot… well jeez… I’d be vomiting, but again, there is such a gleeful look on her face. She’s alive with energy and I like it. I also don’t think she looks 25 at all. AT ALL.

London- Tug of War

Don’t worry… I’m totally pissed at myself for putting Jesus Jr. this high… but I have to be fair! I think her proportions are a mess… She’s way too hippy for that dress, but her face is so wonderfully innocent and happy, and I love the angle. Dammit London. YOU STOP BEING PHOTOGENIC RIGHT NOW.

Allison- Double Dutch

I love her. I love that she looks a little unsure, like ‘Oh, can I actually do this?’. It’s a different kind of childish joy, but it WORKS. Her eyes don’t look completely scary, which is a relief… and this is probably the only picture that works as a fashion shot as well as satisfying the theme.

Pretty much the rest of them have a degree of suckage. So enjoy! Bahaha.

Natalie- Leapfrog

She looks a little unsure, but she also looks hot. It sort of goes against the theme by being sex kittenish and not innocent little girl, but LOOK AT THAT BOD. Her legs are better than everyone else’s. Can we please look at preggo alcoholic extra for a minute? How fierce is that bitch? PLEASE bring her back for an audition in another cycle.

Aminat- London Bridge-

I dunno if I mentioned this in my recaps, but I love Aminat. I can’t believe she was in the bottom 5 for this shot. It’s more like ‘I’m trying to be hot’ than ‘I’m a happy little kid’, but she looks gorgeous. The judges are afraid she’s going to be one note. Man, if your one note is in tune, DON’T CHANGE THAT. Isn’t Tyra the one always squinting… I mean smiling with her eyes? SIGNATURE POSE, TYRA. YOU CONTRADICTORY WHORE.

Nijah- Musical Chairs

It’s just… a little bit too literal for me. The cheesy grin doesn’t look like real happiness. If she was going to overpose, she should have tried to look sexy instead. This isn’t her fault, but the chairs are clear… You can barely see them, so it’s hard to see what she’s playing.

Teyona- Hopscotch

Fo= What good jumping is. Teyona= What bad jumping is. This is a Saleisha edit… A jumping picture with an awkward face that is ejaculated on by the judges. I don’t like her face AT ALL. The jump works for the theme (I mean… hopscotch is essentially all about jumping) but the face doesn’t connect with the body at allll.

This picture is just… meh. Her face looks strained, her body doesn’t have any energy. The rebel smoking the cig looks hotter than Kortnie does. OH, AND KORTNIE IS NOT PLUS-SIZE. She has BIG. TITS. THAT’S IT. I’m so sick of hearing be like ‘Well, the other girls are flaunting their legs’ and it’s ONLY EPISODE 1. Between fake plus sizedness and burns, I’m going to bash my head against a wall or something. Kortnie, try and look less like a parade, okay? [/tyra]

Sandra-

GIRL, IF YOU ARE GONNA BE AN AFRICAN QUEEN LIKE NNENNA, YOU NEED TO PHOTOGRAPH LIKE NNENNA. This picture isn’t as shitty as everyone is saying… She bent at a fashionable angle while still emulating hide and seek, which, personally, always makes me hunch my shoulders up. The problem is that her face is deeeeead. Her eyes look hesitant, her mouth looks tight. But not bottom 2.

Isabella- Dodgeball

It’s a mess. Definitely a mess. The hands are all weirdly outstretched… Her face looks unsure. I DO like the extension in the leg. That saves it from being the worst.

THE WORST PHOTO IN PERHAPS ONE OF THE WORST SHOOTS IN TOP MODEL HISTORY-

Jessica- Jacks

I just. don’t. like it. She’s got dead eyes, the slightest hint of a snarl, and if you took the props away, you’d have no idea that she was playing a game at all. I like the bent in legs… I looove me some bowlegged poses, but I don’t love it in this situation! I am jealous of this bitch’s skin, but otherwise… I do not like her. At all. She can be accused of being too porny and can go home ASAP.

One comment

Roight, Fo’s picture is the sort of thing that Pedo dreams are made of. I mean the pose and the face DEFINITELY work in a very effective way…I just think it’s disturbing…that’s one sexy outfit…

Ohhhhhhh, your girl in second place! 🙂 I don’t like her face at all…I think she looks like a retard that just scored a C- and is celebrating, but her pose is incredibly awesome, and she definitely captures a childlike essence without looking like the object of a child molesters affections.

I was really looking forward to Allison’s picture…and 😦 😦 is all I can sayyyyy. I see your point, the hesitance in the eyes and the hands definitely works. It’s something different to all the others, and she pulls it off well enough…I guess 😦

Okay, here’s the bit I’m sad about…I looooooove Liverpool, I mean London’s…picture. She looks happy and childlike and gleeful, yet finds that balance between innocent kid and sexy ( 😦 ) chick pretty perfectly, she’s HOT, and she looks even less prone to having a pervert pleasure his pecker over her, which is nice. And that yellow thing she’s wearing is effing awesome.

Natalie’s is terrible. She doesn’t look remotely childlike, she looks like a grown woman trying too hard…or not at all…her face is completely blank, and her pose isn’t much better.

Aminat is sort of the same, she definitely doesn’t look like a little kid, she looks like a grown model, but unlike Natalie who seems to be trying and failing miserably, Aminat is just…doing the model thing, the pose is simple and powerful, the neck and face are just awwwweome. I don’t think she comes close to achieving the aim of the whole thing, but it’s a great shot in its own right, which is way more than can be said for most.

I think Teyona’s long shot is really, really really good, but her face is just terrible. I mean wowwww, that’s bad. The body captures the theme so perfectly, the face really doesn’t. Big letdown Mr. Spock.

Oh my Tahlia’s is terrible. She’s clearly trying to convey that spirit of youth in her pose…but it looks so stiff and phony, and her face looks like that of an 80 year old woman, not a little kid.

I don’t really see the problem with Nijah at all… 😦 I don’t think the pose is amazing, but I do like it a lot, especially the way she’s holding the edges of her skirt, like she’s so proud of it and everything, and her face…while certainly looking a little creepy, is again…making an effort. I think she’s trying, and while not excelling, I definitely don’t think she’s failing.

Yeah, Kortnie is awful. She doesn’t look like a kid, she doesn’t capture any sort of real essence. She looks like an adult, dressed as a kid, TRYING to be be all innocent, but really just coming off totally fake. So bad. I mean the legs are okay…I guess, but the face and arms…just so phony.

I don’t mind Superbitch’s picture at all 😦 I like what she’s doing with her right hand, I like the tension in her shoulders, and I like the sort of fear in her eyes. I suppose she could have done something a little…more, but I like it well enough, I think the close up is horrible though, her lips do NOT look good.

Isabelle just looks so stupid, her pose is SO overt, so unrestrained, and then her face is so dead…and it just looks so idiotic. I do like her legs, but I do NOT like her…retard hands, sort of like Mary’s brother in There’s Something About Mary, and her face is so dead it isn’t even funny.

Jessica the Box is HOT, but this is a retarrrrrrrrrded picture. She looks like a pop star or some shit, doing a little twist in the middle, while her backup dancers juke and jive around her. Her pose looks more…sexualized and teenagerish than innocent little kid, and her face is vaaaaacant…like I don’t think it’d be THAT bad in some situations, but it’s allll wrong for this one.