I catch myself thinking, "Why can't he treat me the way C does?" Probably not healthy.

Your husband is passive sexually. You have learned that you are not sexually attracted to passive men (apparently you are repulsed and irritated by it).

As far as I can tell this is not a "sexual problem" so much as this is the end of a sexual relationship. Your husband shouldn't feel the need to change who he is to sate your sex drive any more than you should feel guilty about not being attracted to him any more. People change and it sounds like you need to come to terms with that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherConfused

One factor might be my polyamory. I have some resentment around not being "allowed" to have PIV sex with C. (I see this less as a rule than an awareness that it would upset my husband too much, so it's not really something I can negotiate for.)

This rule never works and you guys should scrap it immediately; it just builds resentment. Your relationship is the perfect example of why NOT to have this dumb rule.