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How To Stay Single & Miserable This Holiday Season

Want to stay single and miserable this holiday season? Try these three, simple techniques:

1. Focus on the romantic relationship you don't have. Are you "incomplete" because you don't have a man? At the core, women who can't be happy while single are typically not comfortable with themselves. Being alone really means being with yourself. If you don't like yourself, it will always be difficult to be single.

The problem with trying to find love outside of ourselves is that we become dependent on other people's opinions of who we are. This holiday season, decide that you will learn to have a truly, honest to goodness great time. Don't fake it, because you are the one who will miss out.

Instead, focus on the love you do have. Cultivate the self-love. Focus on two things you love about yourself, and celebrate those two things. Invest in the people who invest in you. Intimacy is not romance. Intimacy is the result of opening up and being known for who you are. Focus on the two people you can be yourself with, and spend time with them this holiday seaon.

2. Set unrealistic expectations. Is your goal to find your spouse this month? Or, to get your significant other to move in with you? What if it doesn't happen this month — would you consider this season to be a total failure? Placing our expectations on what other people will do or not do is a sure way to mess up our love life. It is also a surefire way of messing up a New Year's resolution.

Do you like ice skating? Do it, with friends or alone, but do it. Do you like dancing? Do it. Are you a book worm? Find two books to read this holiday season. Is hanging out with friends what fills your cup?

Book your party schedule, and make sure you host a party too. How about go to one party every weekend, or meet five new friends, or stick to my healthy eating plan ... the options are endless. When we set goals, they must be within our own realm of influence. This means that you cannot set goals that require other people taking action. Realistic expectations are those that you can achieve with only your own effort. Continue reading ...

1. Change The Way You Think

When it comes to matters of the heart, we're all guilty of making excuses about why we didn't put ourselves out there. But contrary to popular belief, it isn't easier said than done. Laurel's advice?

"Trying" is a pre-emptive excuse for failure or not doing it at all. Do your best. Have zero excuses. If you don’t find success, make a midcourse correction and try a different tact. Keep at it until you do find success."

3. Take A Deep Look At Yourself

3. Take A Deep Look At Yourself

If you can't seem to put your finger on why you've had bad luck in the dating field, take a moment to really look at yourself. This may sound crazy but our choices tend to reflect how we feel about ourselves.

If you wouldn't date yourself, you need to start working on a "you" that you can be proud of!

4. Figure Out What You Really Want

4. Figure Out What You Really Want

If you're really devoted to finding the perfect guy in the new year, knowing what you're looking for can make a huge difference. Laurel mentions that asking yourself these questions will put you on the right track:

What's most important to you?

Where do you stand when it comes to priorities in life? What do you stand for?

5. Get Rid Of Your Baggage & Hangups!

5. Get Rid Of Your Baggage & Hangups!

Hanging onto past relationships definitely won't do your love life any favors. It's time to say goodbye to all of the emotional hangups and baggage (including old flames) that held you back in 2014 so you can look forward to a better 2015.

If the relationship didn't impact your life in a positive way, it's not worth holding onto. And if you have a persistent ex, this 12-step program will help you keep your sanity and move on.

7. Be Confident!

7. Be Confident!

Ladies, confidence is sexy! Seriously, there's nothing better than a girl who knows what she wants and also knows her worth, which is why Laurel says it's imperative that your date knows "there truly are plenty of fish in the sea and you can easily pull another guy just as great or better than he is if need be." This has nothing to do with being arrogant; it's all about being confident in yourself.

When it comes to matters of the heart, we're all guilty of making excuses about why we didn't put ourselves out there. But contrary to popular belief, it isn't easier said than done. Laurel's advice?

"Trying" is a pre-emptive excuse for failure or not doing it at all. Do your best. Have zero excuses. If you don’t find success, make a midcourse correction and try a different tact. Keep at it until you do find success."