can anyone recommend a good program to use the phone as a wireless hotspot, so i can get online with my laptop? I don't want to pay verizon's ridiculous 3G fee when i already have an unlimited data plan.

i could do this on my old samsung omnia (windows mobile) so i'm pretty sure i should be able to do it on a droid phone too

i'll also admit to not even knowing what being rooted means. If i root the phone (which is currently running 2.1), will it still automatically update to 2.2 when verizon pushes that out?

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No it will not automatically give you the 2.2 update. To the contrary, it will block the 2.2 update. Rooting is allowing you to have access to your phones "root" permissions. That is to say, you can pretty much do anything to your phone you want. This is a good article to read up on.