Posts Tagged ‘bed’

Actually, that’s not true. I have written a number of posts since Stella got home from the hospital last month.

It’s just that right before I am about to hit the “send” button, I re-read the posts and decided not to send them. They were not the right “message” that I wanted to share.

It’s not a big deal. I don’t think that any of you would find what I wrote surprising.

For example, I wrote (and then deleted) a post called “Unexpected Pain.”

Essentially it was about how we had gone to bed one night and the next morning found ourselves on the way to the Emergency Room (and a week-long hospital stay) because Stella had very serious pain that seemed to come out of nowhere and surprised us both.

But the post was also about how I had gone to the wedding of a close friend’s daughter. Stella was not feeling well enough to attend so I went solo. Everything was fine until one moment, while watching the ceremony when I felt a sudden emotional pain well up out of nowhere. I guess being in an emotional environment like that without my wife just triggered something. I had to excuse myself run away and sit outside for awhile trying to get a grip. Which, of course, I did and then could go hang out again with my friends.

See, no big deal, but not really worthy of a whole depressing blog post.

I was riding with some friends one time in the desert on a challenging and beautiful path. At times the path narrowed into a tiny ridge that curved around the desert cliffs with about the width of my handlebars. Scary but also exhilarating. I am comfortable with that sort of riding. As long as the trail is uphill or flat, I can manage the terrain without worry.

Downhill technical riding is something else. This is when you ride down steep paths that were never really designed for bike riding. When I start down a tech section, I am usually freeking out and just hope I can get to the bottom in one piece. Every now and then you have a drop. A drop is a ledge that you ride off of and then both you and your bike fall to the ground. If you are lucky, you fall together and land together and continue riding as if that was all part of the plan.

Well, it only took a week (and half the time she was asleep) but Stella seems to have charmed all the staff of the eighth floor. No, she has not been able to make chesed meals for the other patients, but her friendly demeanor and attitude reverberates well with nurses who are used to being yelled at by people in pain. I mean think about it, could you smile and say “when you get a chance” if you were requesting morphine?

One nurse even gave her the nickname “Stellush Chamuda.” Loosely translated, it means “Dear Stelly.”

Last night I came home from the hospital and tried to write an update. But I was exhausted and depressed and had nothing really significant to say. Since the surgery, Stella has been in a great deal of pain, both physical and (as I could tell from her usually smiling face) — mental. She was utterly despondent and nothing I could say or do would cheer her up. The nurses made her go from the bed to a chair which she hated because of the pain of sitting up. As soon as she could, she got back into the bed and closed her eyes in a morphine induced sleep.

I felt completely helpless and so I tried a few times to find some optimistic things to tell you, her Army, and I just couldn’t. I fell asleep with my laptop open on my pillow filled with sad words.

Last night I lay in bed next to Stella watching the e-mails and comments come in from members of “Stella’s Army.” We were in the hospital and I was much relieved that the night staff did not try and throw me out of bed. I guess Israeli hospitals are different. When I asked someone if they were going to bring bedding and hospital pajamas for Stella, he pointed me in the direction of a closet and let me know that it is really self-service here (although they did not ask me to put in the IV.) On the other hand, I don’t know if I could have gotten away with crawling into the bed with Stella anywhere else, so all things considered, so far so good.

Around 2:00 AM, I considered getting up and writing a post. But I didn’t want to disturb Stella (not that she really needs sleep now!) Also, I was not sure exactly what I would write. So I just watched the e-mails and comments come in over my iPhone. And that’s when I realized what I wanted to write.

About Yarden

Yarden Frankl made Aliyah from Potomac, Maryland in 2005. Since then he has been the Special Media Projects Manager for Honest Reporting. He lives in Neve Daniel in Gush Etzion, Israel. He is an amateur endurance athlete and has completed 19 marathon and ultra-marathons and several 12 hour bike rides across Israel to raise money for cancer-related causes.
Yarden and his wife Stella met at Colgate University and were together for almost 30 years. She passed away from stomach cancer in November, 2013. For two and a half years while she battled the disease, she always had a smile on her face and never complained about being sick, only that she was "putting her family and friends through such turmoil."
Yarden documented their struggle against cancer on this blog. After Stella passed away, a friend shared the blog on Facebook. Gilly Asaraf, whose husband had passed away from cancer 8 years previously, read it and reached out to Yarden because their experiences were so similar.
In January 2015, surrounded by close friends, Yarden and Gilly were married. Together they have 6 children and a dog and a cat and continue to live in Neve Daniel.
This blog is dedicated to all those who helped the Frankl and Asaraf families during their struggles. It is also dedicated to all those battling cancer or experiencing the loss of a loved one.
Even when all hope is lost, never give up hope.

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