Wednesday, October 6, 2010

This just in: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have canceled their October 30th rallies in Washington, DC because of "the clear and present bedbug epidemic in the nation's capital." Speaking for both Comedy Central stars, Stephen Colbert said, "When I titled my rally March to Keep the Fear Alive, it certainly wasn't my intention to actually scare the pants off everyone by bringing them to bedbug central." Colbert added in an uncharacteristically somber tone, "I'm scared, too."
Bedbug incidents have been increasing in Washington, DC over the past weeks, with reports coming in of bedbug sightings in neighborhoods and even government buildings. "There's no hiding from this threat," Colbert said.

Arianna Huffington, who was going to provide free bus transportation from New York to Washington, agreed with Stewart and Colbert's decision: "It's not just the cost of having to de-bug the buses afterward, but it would be wrong to subject people to this scourge."

Bill O'Reilly, host of The O'Reilly Factor, said, "I always knew that deep down Stewart and especially Colbert were chicken. Glenn Beck brought in thousands and Colbert and Stewart are just yellow-bellied wimps, running for the hills."

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