Monday, 17 September 2012

September 17 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 9 Amends In Action Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "as part of step nine and the promises, freedom from fear…" There are many things we can do to be free from fear, deal with all matters we possibly can on a daily basis, open the post, check our bills and pay promptly, this is something I still forget in recovery. Or is it a hangover from the past? Most likely…

Video For Today:

Freedom From Fear, WYSIWYG

Being a Monday morning, and having woken up very early in the small hours of the night, as Dale Carnegie said when we have insomnia, "if we can't sleep, better to get up and do something useful…" And I did, I opened all the post, checked for anything due to be paid and sorted it out. It only took three weeks to get round to doing this, and I will be better doing it on a daily basis, one item at a time rather than half a dozen over the last few hours. Thank God for Internet banking… And a few months ago I'd forgotten all about opening the post and it was a mess to sort out over the next few weeks, even though I know better sometimes I do simply forget day by day…

Freedom from fear and economic insecurity! We can become free of that old feeling of fear which just chilled us to the bone, around people places and things. I always had a feeling with work situations that I could do better, which obviously meant I feared something and that was usually not feeling good enough or competent enough. The constant striving meant I did succeed, and always seemed to do more than other people and that made me resentful that they were not as committed as me and on reflection I was the one who should have been committed to a loony bin for doing more than I should. I am good enough and was always good enough, I sometimes strove so hard doing the wrong things in the wrong workplace for far too long…

Freedom from fear in personal relationships! Now this is really fundamental for me, in recovery I have got to know "me" a lot better in terms of emotional and spiritual well-being and being up to express my feelings in the moment of now. And because I am able to express my feelings, on an intimate level, and ask the same from those who know me, this has offered more mutual understanding. And I am so grateful when the level of honesty and openness helps to form better relationships with everyone. Learning what to say yes to when invited, and no to invitations which are not right for me. And equally knowing the same response to invitations I may make, an emphatic no is always better than a half-hearted yes. So if I invited someone out romantically, and she said, "emphatically no!" I would be very appreciative in all respects and respectful of that resounding decision and thus no expectations and no resentments under construction… A little bit of hurt, and not resentful is a good place to be…

Truth or lies, which hinders and hurts most? And of course all the shades of grey in between. We cannot love all the people, all the places and all the things to the same depth. My dad said to me on his death bed when he was counselling me about my partner, or rather ex-partner, he said, "cherishing, superficiality and indifference." We can measure how much a person cherishes us, how much a person treats us with superficiality and indifference which is almost the opposite of "what the eye does not see, the heart does not grieve over." The heart grieves and knows when it is not cherished, and hope is no place to languish in this respect…

Freedom from fear will not disappear completely, it is the bone aching and icy cold gnawing at the gut which seems to disappear as we stop procrastinating and imagining the worst. And we can deal with people who are nasty towards us in many respects if we do not play their bullying games, control needs and manipulations. If it is not right at the start, better to let go and move on quickly rather than endure and hope for the best. We can change what we do and keep learning, but in my experience we cannot change what they do, only they can change themselves. An example for me, in one job I knew on my second day that my boss was an incompetent bully, I stayed for the wrong reasons and broke myself on my own principles. I should have recognised and accepted the truth and left immediately no matter how much remuneration was coming my way. It was for me to change direction as soon as possible and not expect that others would change their direction and adopt my principles of open, honest, fair dealing and integrity. I can change me, I cannot change them one day at a time…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

I cannot describe or define God, Nature, Providence or your Higher Power. And this is good news for me. My higher power is always now, available now, with elements of truth, love and wisdom. Truth, not my opinion or belief. Love, how to love and be loved. Wisdom, from others and wisdom learned from experience. Enough fear and a brave face when needed, more courage and faith when I don't know, someone else probably does today...

Covering up will keep me stuck in old ways, feeling guilty, inadequate and shamed when I do not know the answers most people seem to have. I am mightily pleased when I don't know today, it means I do not try to impress or fake it to fit in. Not knowing has proved to be my salvation, especially when I share and say so. The humility to keep learning a great asset today...

Hey! You! Get off of my cloud... just because you believe in a certain way about a higher power, and you call it God as you understand he she or ? We leave our politics and religion at the door in fellowship and concentrate on sober, remain unique and authentic in our outlook and a higher power we come to understand for ourselves today...

Freedom from fear, with a higher power today. Who's higher power? A higher power I come to understand for myself. We may call it God, we may call it good conscience and somehow it embodies truth, love and wisdom. Faith, courage and confidence to live one day, live well and in harmony as best I can, as you can with your higher power...

-/-

AA Daily Reflections ~ "Freedom from fear... When, with God’s help, we calmly accepted our lot, then we found we could live at peace with ourselves and show others who still suffered the same fears that they could get over them, too. We found that freedom from fear was more important than freedom from want. [12&12]

Material values ruled my life for many years during my active alcoholism. I believed that all of my possessions would make me happy, yet I still felt bankrupt after I obtained them. When I first came into A.A., I found out about a new way of living. As a result of learning to trust others, I began to believe in a power greater than myself. Having faith freed me from the bondage of self. As material gains were replaced by the gifts of the spirit, my life became manageable. I then chose to share my experiences with other alcoholics."

"Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

This step does carry a condition -- except when to do so would injure them or others. If the act of making amends will open old wounds or create new harm, then making direct amends may not be an option. The benefit of making amends by the recovering person does not do more harm than good.

-/-

September 17 2007

DonInLondon - ‘Day In The Life’ Waiting for…

Anyone

We do hang around waiting often for people who will arrive and sometimes never arrive. Just like us. And in this modern world what do we find often? Answer phones and call centres. And sometimes which helps me most is no answer phone and no call centre. Just a ringing tone..

We are all pretty sore if we wait and no one turns up, or answers or has an answer for what we don’t need and want. Wants make us impatient. Needs can be alarming if we are starving or in an emergency.

So today has been a little bit of everything, patience and tolerance, patience and wondering. Some things are somewhat time critical, but more on that another time.

I am brief today, simply there is not much to relate. Yesterday was so good for many reasons and today feels like something is wrong with it. Just me just now.

September 17th 2006 [ all about last year ]

Trust

It has been an awkward couple of days of meetings in my fellowship. From bad news yesterday to meetings all about trust.

Trust is the very essence of many elements of living.

Trusting ourselves and our judgment. Trusting that we will make mistakes and others will make mistakes too. That we understand that trust is something which changes as we go and the nature of trust is what we know at any one time.

We can find our trust is broken and that we break other trusts we may have with others.

As long as we rely on our capacities as they are, and the capacities we know of others, we get "real" about trust.

Blind trust and blind loyalty often will let us down, as we let down those blind faiths others have in us. We are all human and we learn as we go.

I am merely as trusting and trustworthy as life helps me be. We strive for honesty and trust. We know we never find perfection and our own understandings change as wisdom grows and perceptions get clearer or murky as life clouds our feeling and thinking.

Do not be fooled, be trusting in wisdom learned. Be alert to our judgment and alert to our judgmental behaviour.

Blind faith is not usually based on anything but desperation. Faith based on experience understanding and life as we know it, enables our spiritual growth as our purpose is discovered. To live in the moment a day at a time.

Step 9 "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves." Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us…sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." AA Promises

I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Traditions: steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.