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Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas timing

If, like me, you’re working on Christmas Eve and feeling a
little hard done by, it’s a good time to consider that it’s actually not all
that bad.

This morning, I was reading a host of Twitter posts from
disgruntled employees, bleating blithely about having to work on Christmas Eve.
I won’t repeat some of the choice language, but you get the idea. Then I came
across the following Tweet from @DS_Rosser – a Brighton based Detective
Sergeant, who specialises in hostage and crisis negotiations.

It read: “Been up on Beachy Head and it’s proper dark and
proper wet. Negotiated with female in distress clinging to the face of the
cliff. Female wasn’t engaging with uniformed officers and generally sat in
silence. Suicide notes left, goodbye texts typed…. Eventually managed to get
her to come away from the edge for some help. As we were walking away she gave
me some lovely customer feedback. Feedback that I’ll never forget….she looked
at me and said: “You need to work on your technique, seriously…”

It hammered home that there are amazing people out there,
who deal with life or death situations on a daily basis. Not just DS Rosser,
but the armed forces, nurses and so on. These people are rarely appreciated
until they make an impact on your own life.

On the other side, DS Rosser’s straightforward explanation –
clinical almost – reveals how he must have to ‘close off’ to such intense
situations. Faced with that poor woman literally hanging on to life by her
fingertips, called for immense courage and confidence. Feelings rule so many
people’s lives, with sadness and loneliness being the ones that too often drag
the sufferer into despair.

So what do you say to someone who has chosen to give up on
life, has no more words to say and has already written her goodbyes? How do you
pull someone away from the brink of suicide? Whatever DS Rosser said, worked –
to the extent that she even joked with him afterwards. Perhaps, it wasn’t what
he said, but the fact that he gave up his time and took the trouble to listen
and to talk.

Loneliness at this time of year can intensify for those who
have nobody to talk to and nobody to listen. Surrounded by everyone asking: “So
how are you spending Christmas day?” and sharing details of family
get-togethers, those who are on their own must feel as if Christmas is a
punishment, rather than a time of celebration. It’s a cliché, but as clichés
go, it’s a good one: but if you can spare a thought for someone on their own
this Christmas, please try and do what you can to help. A few words and little
acts of kindness can have an immeasurable impact on a lost soul.

I’m reminded of a Tweet I posted in October, that praised
the humble art of letter writing. A retired man was going through his loft and
found some old school books. Flicking through, he suddenly remembered one of
his favourite teachers. He managed to track down her contact details and, on a
whim, sent her a letter, thanking her for all she had done. Because she was one
of the most popular teachers at his school, his letter began: “I expect you get
this all the time, but…”

Within a few days he received a letter from his teacher,
which read: “Dear Willie: I cannot tell you how much your note meant to me. I’m
in my 80s and live alone in a small room, lonely like the last leaf of summer,
lingering behind. You’ll be interested to know that I taught at the school for
50 years and yours is the first note of appreciation I have ever received. It
came on a cold, blue morning and it cheered me as nothing has in many years.”

A simple letter can mean the world to someone who feels
undervalued. Time is precious and it’s easy to get dragged into the
pre-Christmas sprint. But even a few moments spared to give someone a kind word
can lift the lowest of the low. Take a moment to think of someone who will be
on their own this Christmas. It may not be the first person you think of – not necessarily
a relative or friend. What about that guy that goes in the pub that everyone
ridicules? Or the one in Sainsbury’s who everyone thinks is ‘a bit odd’? Or the
‘quiet one’ in the office?

The best Christmas present you can give this year is a
little bit of your time to touch someone’s heart.