2019 can be the year America finds commonality again

If I had a nickel for every time I read an article in 2018 decrying division in America, I’d be able to start my own nonpartisan cross-cultural hippie commune.

Unfortunately, most of these tear-stained epistles and sanctimonious screeds are disingenuous attempts to jockey for victimhood and pin the bad-guy badge on the other side, and few pay them any heed.

America is tilted. The teetering chalice of our vitriolic rhetoric has begun to spill into everyday life, and to figure out why, we need only look in the mirror.

Politics is a spectator sport in the U.S., and most are content to munch popcorn and cheer for our team.

The Hannitys, Maddows and Mahers of the world are vicious, graceless caricatures precisely because that’s what we want them — and pay them — to be. They benefit from fragmentation as long as their fragment supplies sufficient web traffic. Articles and show segments calling for moderation generate few hits and fewer dollars, and therefore offer little incentive to repeat.

As long as there’s a market for bombast and bluster, the airwaves will feature plenty of both.

2019 can be the year America finds commonality again, but this much is sure: It’s not going to happen by outsourcing the job to public officials and pundits. It’s up to us.

Stop 'othering' people

This Dec, 12, 2018 photo provided by Catarina Gomez shows her half-brother Felipe Gomez Alonzo, 8, near her home in Yalambojoch, Guatemala. The 8-year-old boy died in U.S. custody at a New Mexico hospital on Christmas Eve after suffering a cough, vomiting and fever, authorities said. The cause is under investigation.(Photo: Catarina Gomez, AP)

I recently made the mistake of glancing at the comments under an article about the tragic death of 8-year-old Guatemalan migrant Felipe Gomez Alonzo. “One less illegal, good riddance,” declared one commenter. These kinds of grotesqueries showcase the Right’s troubling slide from rule-of-law arguments to hateful nativism, and they damage any prospect of reasonable discourse on immigration.

The Left is fighting another tentacle of the same identity monster with intersectionality, where an individual’s views are imbued with a sort of social currency based on where they fall in the Left’s privilege hierarchy. This thinking hurts innovation and collaboration by cutting out a wide range of ideas and viewpoints merely because of the presenter’s gender or race. It’s a cruel irony that the Left’s pursuit of diversity is now itself a bulwark of class preference that protects narrow, stale and utterly homogeneous sociopolitical dogma.

Individualizing people is the first step to humanizing them, and the importance of that step cannot be overstated.

When we dehumanize people, whether immigrants at the border or the little humans scornfully called “clumps of cells” at the abortion clinic, our motives stain through, and our divisions necessarily deepen.

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Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds signs into law SF 359, the fetal heartbeat bill, from her office at the Iowa Capitol building in Des Moines on Friday, May 4, 2018.(Photo: Bryon Houlgrave/The Register)

Disagree without being disagreeable

The ability to verbally spar without animosity is quickly disappearing from the public sphere, where it is being replaced by simmering, unreasoning resentment.

We must be able to separate premises from conclusions, and logic from burns. When confronting a contrary viewpoint, emphasize commonality first, then move to points of disagreement. One great way to do this is to establish clear, agreed-upon definitions at the onset of an argument. If you can agree on premises, you’re likely to find more convergent solutions.

We don’t need to argue less, just better. The value of classical logic in discussion isn’t pedantic — it’s a recipe for the discovery of truth and piercing through the fog of emotion that often obscures our view of the obvious.

I’m not suggesting that anyone check their passion or empathy at the door. Rather, I’m suggesting that emotion should inform logic, not replace it.

Come out from behind the screen

We can rebuild trust and collaboration, but I’m not sure if it’s possible without engaging each other outside the screen.

Now I’m not saying to unplug completely and organize sidewalk meet-and-greets. The internet is an invaluable tool for discussion and organization, and ignoring it would be silly. But I would suggest using online chatter to foster real-world connections, rather than lobbing opinions and then disappearing.

Online immunity is a drug. Once you’re hooked, it’s very hard to tone down the rhetoric and remember that people are actually, well, people. That’s why it’s important to invest in the person behind the avatar. Don’t say things online you wouldn’t say in person. Allow decency to provide the context to even the most heated exchanges, and you’ll find people are more willing to entertain your ideas, even if they don’t necessarily like you.

Facebook and Twitter aren’t divorced from the real world, and your character online is an extension of who you are — so be better.

A growing number of people say they are deleting Facebook, or at least considering it.(Photo: Wilfredo Lee, AP)

Character of decency, culture of respect

Praise without excusing. Criticize without condemning. Employ grace while still sticking to your principles. Forgive quickly and frequently, knowing that you probably require it as well. Find things you like and admire about your opposition, then emulate those things.

It’s OK to support things proposed by people you don’t like.

It’s OK to oppose things your friends like.

In the words of one late, great Hogwarts Headmaster, "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”

Most important, keep everything in context. No issue stands in isolation, and national identity is never more important than individual identity. The chasm in this country cannot be bridged by parties, only by people.

People like you and me.

Joel Kurtinitis of Des Moines is a homeschooler, conservative-libertarian writer and millennial political activist, who contributes regular columns to the Register. Follow Joel on Facebook at facebook.com/jkurtinitis or on Twitter @Joel_Kurtinitis.