Articles by Tom Esch

When you know that you should say something and you don’t you may be inadvertently contributing to the problem at hand. Silence does not often help a situation that needs an interruption. And there are often costs associated with that lack of interruption. That is why it is expensive silence.

Sometimes apologies do not work. Sometimes they do. Here are some suggestions you can try on at this holiday time to ease the tension in your relationships at home or at work and achieve a relational breakthrough.

I recently moderated a conversation on clergy abuse with 64 people at a local Catholic university. Part of our vision was to begin to restore trust and safety for people within the Christian/Catholic community impacted by the particular pain that comes from the misuse of power which involves sexual abuse.

I used to be a Catholic priest. It was a good life in many ways. The work was meaningful and rewarding. The people I worked among were dedicated, kind and generous. And I received free tickets to world class college football games! I was living my dream. But the lifestyle—it turned out—was a poor match for me.

There are lots of ways in which power is misused. Sometimes it looks like unethical business decisions or sexual misconduct (as I wrote about in Misuse of Power—Part I) and other times it looks more benign—like a leader who is lost in their ego-self or taking up too much air space.

Be aware of attacking others with biting words, or even unconscious messages, they may go into hiding in a corner of your family or organization for a long time. If someone is making you mad at work or home please process your feelings with someone else first.

Who at your place or work hijacks meetings or conversations? What is the result of this behavior? Has anyone ever tried to intervene? What might it take to do so and what would be the benefits to the organization?

There was a street fight right in front of our house, in Minneapolis, on New Year’s Eve last year at about 2 a.m. A group of eight young men, probably 16-18 yrs old, yelling and screaming and punching. They were either drunk or high or both and very loud.