1 Heigh-ho! an it be not four by the day, I'll be2 hanged: Charles' wain is over the new chimney, and3 yet our horse not packed. What, ostler!

Ostler

Within4 Anon, anon.

First Carrier

5 I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks6 in the point; poor jade, is wrung in the withers out7 of all cess.

Enter another Carrier

Second Carrier

8 Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that9 is the next way to give poor jades the bots: this10 house is turned upside down since Robin Ostler died.

First Carrier

11 Poor fellow, never joyed since the price of oats12 rose; it was the death of him.

Second Carrier

13 I think this be the most villanous house in all14 London road for fleas: I am stung like a tench.

First Carrier

15 Like a tench! by the mass, there is ne'er a king16 christen could be better bit than I have been since17 the first cock.

Second Carrier

18 Why, they will allow us ne'er a jordan, and then we19 leak in your chimney; and your chamber-lie breeds20 fleas like a loach.

First Carrier

21 What, ostler! come away and be hanged!

Second Carrier

22 I have a gammon of bacon and two razors of ginger,23 to be delivered as far as Charing-cross.

First Carrier

24 God's body! the turkeys in my pannier are quite25 starved. What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou26 never an eye in thy head? canst not hear? An27 'twere not as good deed as drink, to break the pate28 on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged!29 hast thou no faith in thee?

Enter GADSHILL

GADSHILL

30 Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?

First Carrier

31 I think it be two o'clock.

GADSHILL

32 I pray thee lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding33 in the stable.

39 Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant40 thee. Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the41 gentleman: they will along with company, for they42 have great charge.

Exeunt carriers

GADSHILL

43 What, ho! chamberlain!

Chamberlain

Within44 At hand, quoth pick-purse.

GADSHILL

45 That's even as fair as--at hand, quoth the46 chamberlain; for thou variest no more from picking47 of purses than giving direction doth from labouring;48 thou layest the plot how.

Enter Chamberlain

Chamberlain

49 Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that50 I told you yesternight: there's a franklin in the51 wild of Kent hath brought three hundred marks with52 him in gold: I heard him tell it to one of his53 company last night at supper; a kind of auditor; one54 that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what.55 They are up already, and call for eggs and butter;56 they will away presently.

GADSHILL

57 Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas'58 clerks, I'll give thee this neck.

Chamberlain

59 No, I'll none of it: I pray thee keep that for the60 hangman; for I know thou worshippest St. Nicholas61 as truly as a man of falsehood may.

GADSHILL

62 What talkest thou to me of the hangman? if I hang,63 I'll make a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old64 Sir John hangs with me, and thou knowest he is no65 starveling. Tut! there are other Trojans that thou66 dreamest not of, the which for sport sake are67 content to do the profession some grace; that would,68 if matters should be looked into, for their own69 credit sake, make all whole. I am joined with no70 foot-land rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers,71 none of these mad mustachio purple-hued malt-worms;72 but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters and73 great oneyers, such as can hold in, such as will74 strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than75 drink, and drink sooner than pray: and yet, zounds,76 I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the77 commonwealth; or rather, not pray to her, but prey78 on her, for they ride up and down on her and make79 her their boots.

Chamberlain

80 What, the commonwealth their boots? will she hold81 out water in foul way?

GADSHILL

82 She will, she will; justice hath liquored her. We83 steal as in a castle, cocksure; we have the receipt84 of fern-seed, we walk invisible.

Chamberlain

85 Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to86 the night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.

GADSHILL

87 Give me thy hand: thou shalt have a share in our88 purchase, as I am a true man.

Chamberlain

89 Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.

GADSHILL

90 Go to; 'homo' is a common name to all men. Bid the91 ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell,92 you muddy knave.