DUmmie FUnnies

A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Obama tells Gates, cop: "Stay thirsty, my friends"

CERVEZABOBEERACK OBOTTLESTAY STUPID, my friends

His ego is expanding faster than the national debt. He once bowled a 37. Honest. He lives vicariously through his teleprompter. The police often question him, just so he can say they acted stupidly. His blood smells like arugula. Every time a pitcher throws a perfect game, he claims to know them. He's been known to cure insomnia, just by holding a press conference. People hang on his every word. They're so bored they hang themselves. He can speak Indonesian . . . in Kenyan.

He is the Most Irritating Man in the World.

"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I make a photo op out of it."

"Stay stupid, my friends."

So Obama stuck his nose into a situation he knows nothing about. No, I'm not talking about the presidency. That's a given. No, I'm talking about Gatesgate. At his initial presser, Obama admitted, "I may be a little biased here. I don't know all the facts." But that didn't stop The Most Interfering Man in the World from giving his opinion, saying that the Cambridge police "acted stupidly."

Well, that didn't go over too well, so later Barack had to backtrack a bit: "I could have calibrated those words differently." And he invited Professor Gates and Officer Crowley over for a beer.

So how have the DUmmies reacted to all this? Lots of threads over in DUmmieland, for example, this THREAD, and we'll sample a few others beside. So belly up to the bar, boys, lift a pint, and let's all sing "Kumbaya." The DUmmie comments are in Killian Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [Barackets]:

President Obama Inviting Gates and Crowley Over For A Beer? Brilliant!

[The only thing more brilliant would be to fly up to Boston, where those guys live, head over to Bukowski's, and ask the Pittster to moderate!]

the President swallowed his ego, and worked to resolve the problem.

[The Grand Canyon could not swallow Obama's ego.]

Well, the President better not get too 'uppity' while Crowley is there: we don't want to see an arrest in the White House.

[Profilings in Courage.]

As long as he checks his gun and his tazer at the door, why the Hell not?

[Obama could disarm him with his looks . . . or his hands. Either way.]

Obama IS brilliant!

[He is so brilliant, he'll even get those guys to buy HIM a beer! He is the Most Brilliant Man in the World.]

It is good, can't wait for the photo op.

[That's what it's all about.]

Our President knows how to appeal to the better angels in people.

[Our President knows how to appear at the better angles in a photo op.]

The Symbolism is thick.

[That's not the only thing.]

am I the only one who expects a few whiny parents to slam Obama for setting a bad example for children by offering a beer (as opposed to a Coke or whatever else) to Gates and Crowley. . . ?

[FREE UNIVERSAL BEER FOR ALL!]

Some parents, some religious types.

[Not the Lutherans. We like beer.]

they should start with Wild Turkey and move through the spirits from there.

[PJ will send over some Flor de Caña.]

Just get totally f*cking sloshed. That would be so awesome.

[I think we've found the DUmmies' sweet spot.]

I'd rather they smoked a doob.

[Barry might have flashbacks.]

our Fearless Beloved Leader has enough empathy to save the Nation.

[He has so much empathy he can export it to other planets.]

Dude - the Prez is from Chi-Town. . . . Who could turn down a beer from a Chicagoan?

[Dude, I, Charles Henrickson, am from Chicago! Born and raised there. Barry is from . . . well, nobody knows where he's from. . . . But, who could turn down a beer from an Indonesian?]

So - honestly, you would turn down Beer with Obama?

[Will Pitt would not turn down a free beer with Richard Speck.]

The great lesson: "When in doubt, have a drink!" Something I try to practice on a daily basis.

[Will Pitt wants a job with the administration as Undersecretary of Beer.]

Maybe Obama and Gates should waterboard Crowley with a couple of Sam Adams. . . .

[Wouldn't that be "beerboarding"?]

they should enjoy some 18 year old Elijah Craig Bourbon...and a nice bong hit.

[Most DUmmies would just go with the bong.]

"White House spokesman Robert Gibbs promised Budweiser, the all-American king of beers." I am aghast and shaken to the core.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

"John Edwards was RIGHT"

It looks like Barack Obama has disappointed the DUmmies to the extent that they are now looking for a new hero. And who have they chosen? None other than an old hero, the ambulance chasing philanderer known as...John Edwards! Yes, unbelievably the Breck Girl now has strange new respect in DUmmieland as you can see in this THREAD, "John Edwards was RIGHT..." Too FUnnie! You sure know how to pick them, DUmmies. So let us now watch the DUmmies idolize their new/old hero in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Edwards is still channeling deceased children for profit, is in the [brackets]:

John Edwards was RIGHT...

[...about Breck being the best shampoo?]

The healthcare insurers are not going to negotiate away anything. IF we want real healthcare reform we are going to have to take it from them. And there is the rub, 'negotiating' has to be in good faith or it does not work at all. What we are seeing is a carefully designed plan to feign good faith negotiating while in reality bringing about delay which will eventually kill any kind of real reform. We must take it from them... No truer words were ever spoken. Forget bipartisanship....

[Yes, follow your new role model over the cliff. And now on to the other DUmmies]

You're completely right, of course..... But putting John Edwards name in it guarantees that all you will get is attacks on Edwards.

[GASP! How could anybody even think about attacking the 2007 Father of the Year?]

We are beholden to our corporate overlords, and our President, sadly, is one of them.

[The One is thrown under the bus by the DUmmies as the Silky Pony replaces him in their pantheon of heroes.]

Still Got John Edwards On My Car Too! Edwards... "You Must Defeat Them!" and the corporate media and the "StarF*cker" took him away from us!

[Hey, at least she was keeping it Rielle.]

Edwards Had The Best Plan By Far in '08, That's Why HE Was Trashed!

[Oh, so THAT'S why Elizabeth tossed him out of their palace!]

My Stickers Were Magnetic One... Still Have His Shirts & The Magnetic Stickers too!

[Do you still have your plastic Johnny up on the dashboard of your car?]

My sticker is staying - as well as my avator and sig lines. I'm an Edwards Democrat for life - regardless of what the political climate here is. He was right on so many levels and the first politician to really speak out against the corporate control of DC.

[And of course, your Johnny would have NEVER betrayed you like Barack did since the Breck Girl is so totally honest.]

What first made me sit up and take notice was the fact that Edwards kicked off his campaign in New Orleans. Since the days of Bobby Kennedy, the conventional wisdom (written by the corporate media and PR firms) has told us that it's toxic for a presidential candidate to directly address issues of poverty. I admired Edwards' guts for tackling this vital topic and for speaking the truth about health care:

[Posted the DUmmie who emptied his pockets for Bev Harris.]

Edwards was a great Dem politician. I hope he'll be back.

[John Edwards is only $10 away from being back.]

John was right about most things.

[Especially about marital fidelity.]

Over Obama's entire career he made FAR fewer changes than Edwards

[Make that hope and changes.]

The ONLY time Obama acted like he was for single-payer, universal healthcare was when JOHN forced the issue. the ONLY time.

[Johnny, We Hardly Knew Ye.]

Edwards backed down on everything. He was a fake, a phony and a charlatan. Why would anyone continue to support this lying, cheating politician is beyond me.

[Is that you, Elizabeth?]

The reason I was (and still am) so angry about Edwards' conduct is not that I think he is such a bad man, but because he was our only hope for decent government. Obama is a wonderful person in some respects but, perhaps unknowingly, he is owned by big business. Edwards had watched the devastation of his hometown and its culture and industry, an industry in which he had, at one point, apparently considered working in, and he knew what our choices are. No other candidate had such an accurate view of our reality.

[Yes, that firm grip on reality is what made Johnny so appealing.]

I was an Edwards supporter and donated more to him than I have any other political candidate.

[P.T. Barnum stated that there was one of you born every minute.]

I want this country back, and I want to see Obama to succeed, but IMO he needs start making those CHANGES he talked about day in and day out during the campaign. He's actually REVERSED himself on quite a few things and I feel somewhat betrayed.

[And, of course, Johnny would NEVER betray anybody. And would you like to buy that bridge now?]

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

QAHCAA Panic Attack In KOmmieland

Interesting. Rush was a big reason why Health Care Scam I was derailed in 1994 and it looks like he will be repeating the performance (aided by the Internet this time) this year. The more people that learn about the Obama QAHCAA (Quality, Affordable Health Coverage for All Americans---official title) plan, the more the opposition grows. Therefore time is NOT on their side which is why the KOmmies are now in a state of panic as you can see in this THREAD, "This is THEIR Waterloo...in the Class War." So let us now watch the KOmmies watch their plan sink beneath the Water-loo in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, also now wearing the hat of humor columnist at the Canada Free Press, is in the [barackets]:

"Breaking," This is THEIR Waterloo...in the Class War

[And this is what QAHCAA is all about to the KOmmies---class war.]

If we're able to stop Obama on this, it will be his Waterloo. It will break him."

[And it will be OUR victory party.]

Yeah, that is true. IF you the Republicans and Blue Dogs and the Insurance and Big Pharma Industries are indeed able to stop Obama from giving the 75% of Americans what they want and desperately need... It will break him. Just as it broke Clinton and forced him in to the middle to please republicans....who then paid him back for compromising by impeaching him. This IS Obama's issue. If he loses, if WE lose, Health Care it will damage his Presidency and the rest of his agenda severely, just as it did with Clinton. But, um......what if he, what if WE, win? They are throwing absolutely everything they have onto the battlefield to stop Health Care.

[It sure didn't help when the Senate accurately gave it the acronym of QAHCAA. The rest of this KOmmie's rant is the typical KOmmie class war routine so let us skip over it to the reaction from the rest of the KOmmies...]

Silver bullets and wooden stakes. Those bastards aren't human.

[Attack of the Zombie Republicans!!!]

The enemy in this war is artificial person -- the alien life form known as corporations. This is an undeclared war of one cancerous, anomalous life form (corporations) against all other living things, including the planet Gaia itself. Which issue can you find in which the corporations -- mega-banks, insurance, pharmaceuticals, the military-industrial complex, media giants, energy giants, polluters, strip miners, ad infinitum -- are not the enemy? This is the underlying truth of all Progressive causes -- the enemy is the corporation, artificial life. It is devouring all that we love and hold dear. We are engaged in The War of the Worlds, like it or not. And the government is a tool of the enemy. But this alien life form cannot live outside the petri dish of government subsidies. This slime feeds on our blood, and we need to remove the food source. De-privatizing is the right and only way.

[It sounds like you are engaged in the War of the Weirds.]

Why not single payer? you know -its our only shot at REAL affordability and universality.. why are they blowing it? Why the lies?

[But...but how could the Blessed Barack lie?]

I called Evan Bayh yesterday. I gave them an earful. That he needed to stop his foot dragging and show some leadership, was he a Democrat or not???? Call Evan Bayh. I told him we dems were watching all the dems and how they vote. The person I talked to listened, really listened. Call, call, call. Didn't hurt to say I was a contributor to Act Blue, which I am. or to tell a personal story, which I did.

[You just picked up the phone and got Evan Bayh on the other end? Riiiiiight.]

F*cking Blue Dogs! They'd rather continue to pocket healthcare lobbyist cash than pass a good healthcare bill and retain a strong Dem majority in congress in 2010. I am soooo f*cking pissed!

[Want a hankie?]

They don't have troops on the ground. WE have troops on the ground and I'm one of them. Going to an Obama healthcare meeting on Thursday w/ a field organizer and other canvassers. WE ARE the troops on the grounds. They have their corporations and their money and their scare tactics. The troops on the ground (US) helped win the election and we can help win this, too! Let's do it!

[I'll give you some tin soldiers you can play with in the sandbox]

Obama has POWER. He doesn't have to beat his chest and talk about how much political capital he has, or how he's got some kind of mandate to do whatever. He just has to say he won't campaign for you, or worse, that he's going to support your opponent, or even worse, that he's going to find somebody to primary you and ask all his backers (that's US) to support them. My bet is that's what's going on now, with those in the Congress who are hesitant to get on board with health reform.

[Obama is empowered by his teleprompter.]

This is a battle we can and will win! We won't be intimidated this time!

[Declared Deputy Dawg.]

I think the fate of the entire progressive agenda is at stake here. Too many "reforms" have been bogus or half-assed. I say we march on DC for a veto if he tries to pass another bait and switch off.

[Forward MARCH!!!]

Obama must be our Iron Duke and Marshall Blucher combined..and toss in Richard Sharpe of "Sharpe's Waterloo" (B Cornwell) and Horatio Hornblower to boot. We can break them here, on this ground.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

DUmmies On QAHCAA Health Bill: CBO Director Didn't Say What He Said

Remember what the Director of the Congressional Budget Office said late last week about the Obama QAHCAA (Quality, Affordable Health Coverage for All Americans---official title) health plan? ALL news sources reporting on it say that the director stated that it would INCREASE the deficit. However, despite what the CBO Budget Director actually said, the DUmmies are hailing the budgetary gymnastics emanating from Nancy Pelosi's OFFICE to claim that he really said that it would be budget neutral. Another way of saying, don't believe what your lying ears heard, this is what he really meant. Unfortunately, only the far left loons are buying this. The Blue Dog Democrats and most every other person sure know what the CBO director said which means the probable DOOM of QAHCAA (pronounced the way it is read). However, the DUmmies just can't let go of that tiny sliver of hope as you can see in this THREAD, "CBO Scores Confirm Deficit Neutrality of Health Insurance Reform Bill." So let us watch the DUmmies deny painful reality in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who loves the QAHCAA acronym, is in the [barackets]:

CBO Scores Confirm Deficit Neutrality of Health Insurance Reform Bill

[What you heard the CBO director say, he didn't say. Oh, and we've always been at war with Eastasia.]

Washington, D.C. — The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) released estimates this evening confirming for the first time that H.R. 3200, America’s Affordable Health Choices Act, is deficit neutral over the 10-year budget window - and even produces a $6 billion surplus. CBO estimated more than $550 billion in gross Medicare and Medicaid savings. More importantly, the bill includes a comprehensive array of delivery reforms to set the stage for lowering the future growth in health care costs.

[Oooh! This sounds as good as the Porkopulous bill...and as realistic!]

Net Medicare and Medicaid savings of $465 billion, coupled with the $583 billion revenue package reported today by the House Committee on Ways and Means, fully finance the previously estimated $1.042 trillion cost of reform, which will provide affordable health care coverage for 97% of Americans.

[And we know just how efficient the government is at meeting savings goals. Oh, and that "revenue package" means TAXES. More of them and somehow the economy will be completely unaffected by higher TAXES. BTW, the CBO never claimed the above...just wait until you see the source of this wild interpretation. Hee! Hee!]

“This fulfills the strong commitment of the President and House leadership to enact health reform on a deficit-neutral basis,” said Chairmen Henry A. Waxman, Chairman Charles B. Rangel, and Chairman George Miller. “The reforms included in this legislation will help control health care costs and expand access to quality, affordable coverage to all Americans in fiscally-responsible manner.”

[Now there is a trio you can believe in when it comes to cutting government costs...NOT!]

The estimates also cover important reinvestments in Medicare and Medicaid, including phasing in the closing of the “donut” hole in the Medicare drug benefit. The bill’s long-term reform of Medicare’s physician fee schedule to eliminate the potential 21 percent cut in fees, and put payments on a sustainable basis for the future, will cost about $245 billion. Those costs, however, are not included in the net calculations above, as they will be absorbed under the upcoming statutory “pay go” legislation that is pending in the House.

[Anybody who places the least bit of faith in these laughable budgetary gymnastics has a giant "donut" hole in their brain. And now for the laugh line...]

[Got that? The source for this complete reinterpretation of what the CBO director actually said is a BLOG out of Nancy Pelosi's office. And now the DUmmies have placed all of their hope on this completely unrealistic thread and you shall read...]

Good news

[If Karina the Blogger out of Nancy Pelosi's office says "up" is really "down" then it MUST be true!]

Let's hope this news doesn't go unreported by omission by those who don't follow the Cronkite brand of journalism.

[Let the world know. Karina the Blogger claims that "up" is really "down."]

Elmendorf is a tool. He wants to torpedo the whole thing. He needs to be outta here. This clearly rebukes that idiot.

[But...but Karina the Blogger is claiming that the CBO (meaning him) said it was budget neutral. How can he rebuke himself?]

Huh? Isn't this the opposite of what the same body said just two days ago? I hope this is right -- should shoot down a lot of arguments.

[I BEEEEEEELIEVE IN THE NANCY PELOSI SHILL...Karina the Blogger!]

I'm confused. The CBO doesn't mention any surplus. Here's Elmendorf's statement regarding the new analysis: http://cboblog.cbo.gov/?p=332 It says the bill will produce a net 239 billion dollar increase in the deficit.

I cant keep up with all these estimates, how can 2 estimates in the past few days say 2 different ..things. If anybody gets this, could you explain it to the rest of us.

[Simple. One is true and the other is a Karina the Blogger fantasy.]

One can easily get 47 different estimates in 47 days-Its who YOU trust & believe is all that matters

[BEEEEELIEVE in Karina the Blogger with all your heart and soul! HALLELUJAH!!!]

Estimates are based on the result you want. Right wingers say this will bankrupt us. Obama says it will save money. The truth is somewhere in the middle.

[And we all know what a magnificent track record he has with this Porkopulous estimate on how it would help lower unemployment.]

The truth is still somewhere in that middle

[And ye shall know the truth but it WON'T set you free.]

It would be interesting to find out what Elmendorf's tax free account in Switzerland has in it!

[Just ask our mighty oracle, Karina the Blogger, for the answer to that.]

CBO says there will be a deficit, but Pelosi and others say there will be a small surplus. The reason for this surplus conclusion is that legislation might pass soon in which Medicare costs won't have to be offset. But will that cost simply disappear? Will it never be counted as part of our expenses?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! How dare you cast aspersions upon the veracity of Karina the Blogger!]

How Can 2 CBO Reports Be So Different

[Simple. One is true and the other is the product of the fervid imagination of Karina the Blogger.]

Why would Nancy Pelosi claim this on her blog? That's not what the report says

[All that counts is that it says what Karina the Blogger says it says.]

The info in the letter just doesn't match the headline and news release. What in the world is going on?

[What is going on is a lot of pixie dust being dropped on the heads of gullible DUmmies by Karina the Blogger who operates out of Nancy Pelosi's office.]

I'll take the bad news straight up, TYVM. But don't paint a pretty picture only to have it turn to slime, like the jobs outlook right now.

[Remember the wonderful Fitzmas fairy tale told to you just 24 business hours ago?]

BTW, the discrepancy between the surplus declaration in Pelosi's announcement and the purported $239B deficit in the report itself are explained by Congress's annual ugly patch of the flawed sustainable-growth-rate calculations used to determine how much doctors are paid by Medicare (the calculations always generate rates which are way too low, and if Congress doesn't do their annual fix to shore up rates, physicians would abandon Medicare in droves.) Without the ugly patch, we actually get a 6 billion dollar surplus from HR3200, but because the ugly patch is factored in, the CBO calls it a $239B deficit. The thing is that the ugly patch would be implemented by Congress every year, whether or not HR3200 becomes law, meaning that money would be spent no matter what.

[Is that you, Professor Irwin Corey?]

Yes, you can trust the CBO. This gubermint agency is always accurate and honest. Really! You are getting sleepy. Verrry sleepy!

[And when you awake you will be a blogger in the office of Nancy Pelosi.]

What the f*ck is the CBO head doing saying just the opposite like one day ago?

[Because his words had yet to go through the Katrina the Blogger magic filter for convenient reinterpretation.]

The CBO did not say the opposite

[You...you mean we haven't always been at war with Eastasia you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

The director DID say the opposite. I watched him say the opposite of this new CBO report.

[But what did Karina the Blogger say he said? That's what really counts.]

How can the same organization come up with 2 polar opposite conclusions?

[Answer: One happened and the other is what Karina the Blogger said happened.]

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Pitt Demands Investigation Of Cheney In 24 Business Hours

Are you ready for a shock? The Bush Administration authorized the CIA to capture or kill Osama Bin Laden and other top Al Qaeda leaders. GASP! The next thing you know, there will be a shocking revelation that professional wrestling is fixed. And now the hero of the Karl Rove indictment scoop of May 12, 2006 wants an investigation of Dick Cheney for somehow withholding from Congress something which was already published in the New York Times and which everybody down to small kids already knew---a program to kill or capture terrorists. Police captain Louis Renard is shocked, shocked, that we wished to inflict harm on Al Qaeda while top Democrats were screeching about how the Bush administration had NOT yet killed nor captured Osama Bin Laden. So now we have William Rivers Pitt demanding to investigate Cheney for his part in supposedly keeping this "secret" information secret. And where is he expressing his outrage? Why, in the pages of that august periodical, TruthOut which published his Karl Rove indictment scoop. The same TruthOut which, ironically has recently published an ARTICLE by Pitt's co-conspirator, the "former" drug addict, liar, thief, and overall degenerate, Jason Leopold, in whom Pitt assured had great journalistic integrity. And the article is laughably about Karl Rove, a subject you would think Leopold would try to avoid forever. Was Dick Cheney ever seen in the vicinity of Newton, MA? No matter. Pitt wants him investigated no matter what as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, "Now Can We Investigate?" Yes, can we now investigate how a certain teacher used his position to take advantage of young school girls? Oops! Wrong case. So let us now watch the DUmmies get all outraged over the political equivalent of the big secret of fixed professional wrestling in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching "Wedding Crashers" over and over again for tips in preparation for a New England trip this October, is in the [brackets]:

Now Can We Investigate?

[Yes, but first you must wait 24 business hours.]

President Obama is in the process of losing what may be the most important argument of his young administration. The argument is not about health care, bank bailouts, the economy, Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Pakistan, the environment or the auto industry, though arguments on these issues are indeed ongoing and hanging in the balance.

[Yeah, investigating Dick Cheney is so much more important to the average person than whether our economy is going into the tank or future acts of terror.]

No, the Obama administration is losing the argument about the past being less important than the future. They would like his government, Congress and the American people to look forward, and to leave behind as much of the past as possible. The past, in this case, is the battery of crimes, cover-ups and tyrannies unleashed by their predecessors in the Bush administration.

[Crimes and cover-ups? Can we now send the investigators to a certain schoolyard in Newton, MA?]

The Obama administration's argument in favor of leaving the myriad abuses of the Bush administration to the dustbin of history is understandable, though hardly valid at this point. Obama and his team have a thousand and one problems to deal with in the here and now, and according to them, any attempt to quest into the past will derail all the work they have to do. They are also justifiably concerned that Republicans in Congress will try to burn down the Capitol building if Democrats even twitch in the direction of digging up the past.

[So is this an argument to NEVER forget a certain heinous series of crimes in Newton, MA?]

Understandable? Sure. Valid? Not by a long chalk.

[Channeling the Temporary Sockpuppet!]

Half a dozen times since his inauguration, President Obama has seen his agenda depth-charged by a report on some nefarious activity by the previous administration. Not only have his plans and intentions been derailed by these reports - whether they be about torture, government secrecy, indefinite detention, or whatever else - he has himself become culpable for the damage done by either trying to ignore these transgressions or by adopting them himself.

[Bring all the Newton crimes to light! Don't ignore them!]

It happened again this weekend. The Obama administration has been trying to gear up for a millennial debate over health care reform, but Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney have once again gotten in the way, not once but twice. "The Bush administration authorized secret surveillance activities that still have not been made public, according to a new government report that questions the legal basis for the unprecedented anti-terrorism program," reported The Associated Press on Friday. "President George W. Bush authorized other secret intelligence activities - which have yet to become public - even as he was launching the massive warrentless wiretapping program, the summary said. It describes the entire program as the 'President's Surveillance Program.' The report describes the program as unprecedented and raises questions about the legal grounding used for its creation. It also says the intelligence agencies' continued retention and use of the information collected under the program should be carefully monitored."

[How dare the Bush administration conduct secret surveillance of terrorists! They should have publicly revealed all such surveillance so each terrorist could be notified that they were being watched.]

"The Central Intelligence Agency withheld information about a secret counterterrorism program from Congress for eight years on direct orders from former Vice President Dick Cheney, the agency's director, Leon E. Panetta, has told the Senate and House intelligence committees, two people with direct knowledge of the matter said Saturday," reported The New York Times on Sunday. "The report that Mr. Cheney was behind the decision to conceal the still-unidentified program from Congress deepened the mystery surrounding it, suggesting that the Bush administration had put a high priority on the program and its secrecy."

[A super super "secret" program to kill or capture top terrorists. The secrecy of this program was exceeded only by the top secret that professional wrestling is fixed.]

Thud. Nobody is talking about health care now, or Ghana or nuclear reduction deals with the Russians. Just like that, all discussion has once again turned to the actions and activities of the Bush administration. President Obama has been acting as if only two options - ignorance or adoption - are available to deal with these Bush-era eruptions, because he does not want his presidency to become overwhelmed by the third available option: investigation and prosecution.

[It might be too late for investigation and prosecution. I need to check the MA state laws for the statue of limitations.]

Guess what? The Obama administration is already being overwhelmed, and will continue to lose ground every time another one of these wretched revelations hits the headlines, which they will, over and over again. There is more out there about Bush and Cheney's torture program. There is more out there about their indefinite detention program, about their broad policy of absolute secrecy, about how and why we invaded Iraq, about their domestic surveillance program - specifically, who got spied on in America and why - and even about exactly what happened before and on September 11.

Let's investigate. Let's prosecute. Let's clean out the Augean stables of the Bush administration and put things right again. It's not as if the desire to do exactly that isn't already present in the body politic. A majority of Democrats and a whole passel of Americans want to see the crimes and cover-ups of the Bush administration looked into and punished with vigor.

Some members of Congress appear poised to do just that. "House Democrats said yesterday that they expect to launch a formal investigation into a secret CIA program that was not disclosed to Congress for almost eight years, a probe that could entangle senior Bush administration officials who oversaw intelligence issues, reported The Washington Post on Sunday. "Democrats on the House intelligence committee said the inquiry would examine both the nature of the still-secret program and the decisions to keep congressional oversight committees in the dark about its existence."

[Why? Oh WHY was the secret program of fixing professional wrestling bouts withheld from Congress?]

And Congress, it seems, may not be alone. "(Attorney General Eric) Holder, 58, may be on the verge of asserting his independence in a profound way," reported Newsweek on Saturday. "Four knowledgeable sources tell NEWSWEEK that he is now leaning toward appointing a prosecutor to investigate the Bush administration's brutal interrogation practices, something the president has been reluctant to do. While no final decision has been made, an announcement could come in a matter of weeks, say these sources, who decline to be identified discussing a sensitive law-enforcement matter."

[Holder? Oh yes. The hero of the Marc Rich pardon. Now there is someone with the ethical stature to take up this investigation.]

Let's get it over with, shall we?

[Okay, I'll forget all about the Karl Rove indictment scoop. And now we hear from the rest of the pretend outrage DUmmies...]

the evidence is mounting.....on a daily basis

[Those Newton schoolgirls are now singing?]

We must investigate, prosecute, and punish where appropriate. If not, we become accomplices and history will not judge us well.

[Frogwalk Dick Cheney across the White House lawn...right after Karl Rove is indicted on May 12, 2006.]

Bush, Cheney, and all their cabal have openly admitted to TREASON, Usurping the Constitution, and actual WAR CRIMES,, what more do they have to do to get charged, or at least investigated???,, a first year law student could get a conviction from all they have done and admitted to..

[Jason Leopold for special prosecutor? BTW, does Pitt still talk to his colleague from TruthOut? They share such warm Fitzmas memories.]

I feel that the entire Bush/Cheney illegal regime of thugs and cronies should be investigated -- starting with Bush/Cheney/Rumsefeld/Rice, and continuing right through until every single war criminal, thug, cronie, lackey, and thief in that horrible, evil, corrupt and illegal regime has been completely and totally investigated.

[Investigate them all including the Bush presidential dog, Barney!]

It is NOT a waste of time to do these investigations. The illegal and totally corrupt Bush/Cheney regime of thugs and cronies engaged in torture and other terrible war crimes. They took this nation to war for NO reason, and they bombed innocent children and women in Iraq, and had thousands of American soldiers killed just to satisfy the blood lust of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, and the rest of those evil monsters.

[Horrible torture by A/C and stuffing Gitmo prisoners with second helpings of food. The SHAME of it all!!!]

And they deserve to be not just investigated. They deserve to be indicted, tried, and CONVICTED for their terrible crimes. And they deserve imprisonment in the same types of cells they put "detainees" into. Monstrous people who commit monstrous crimes should be investigated. We did it at Nuremburg after WWII. We MUST DO IT NOW!

[OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! TO THE HAGUE!!!]

Afternoon kick

[Declared Pied Piper Pitt, kicking himself.]

There almost had to have been some complicity in all this on the part of some Democrats in Congress. Even if Holder and/or Obama wanted to proceed, might they be dissuaded by the party and by the need to maintain a Democratic majority?

[No, no. The Democrats were all hermetically sealed from the "top secret" information that we were going after terrorists. Oh, and they also had absolutely no idea that professional wrestling is fixed.]

Now Will, there ya go again making sense

[Will is making as much sense as his explanation that the Karl Rove indictment will be delayed by 24 business hours.]

Monday, July 13, 2009

"Freepers are trying to get the Vancouver Sun reporter fired"

From the outset, let me make one thing perfectly clear. I have absolutely NO problem with the Vancouver Sun. In fact, I have very good memories of that newspaper from back in the days when I used to freelance my humor columns. They published my column frequently and paid more than adequately plus the managing editor at the time was a really great guy. So let us not blame mental case Chris Parry aka HollywoodOz on the Sun (ironically I syndicated my column via my own Sun Features). It turns out Parry who published an article slamming Freepers is also a Daily Kos KOmmie loon by the name of HollywoodOz. It doesn't surprise me a bit. There are probably many more "journalists" out there who are also KOmmies and DUmmies posting utter lunacy in their online guises. Hopefully Parry's days at the Vancouver Sun are now numbered since he has been "outed." And this is cause for DUmmie concern as you can see in this THREAD, "Freepers are trying to get the Vancouver Sun reporter fired." So let us now watch the DUmmies grieve over the possible loss of a Krazed KOmmie to the journalistic profession in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, still basking in the warm glow of Vancouver Sun remembrances, is in the [brackets]:

Freepers are trying to get the Vancouver Sun reporter fired

[A loss to the "journalistic" profession that will NOT be mourned.]

Freepers, get the word out loud and wide. The Vancouver Sun "journalist" Chris Parry that defamed Jim Robinson and FreeRepublic is none other than radical left blogger "Hollywoodoz" at the Daily Kos. In addition to writting for the Vancouver Sun, Chris is a frustrated and failed internet entrepreneur, having launched many websites and blogs, all of which have virtually no traffic, following, or success. Chris also writes movie reviews, though these are pretty lame.

[Parry aka "HollywoodOz" sounds like a loon. What is his DUmmie screen name?]

Chris Parry actually advocated attacking "negros" and blaming the republicans for it. See this post at the Daily Kos by "hollywoodoz", who is in reality, as proven below Chris Parry of the Vancouver Sun. See it here: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/9/9/10324/92702 This spells BUSH, CHENEY, BROWN. Now if this is not grounds for losing your job at the Vancouver Sun, I don't know what is.

[Wouldn't surprise me a bit. Definite grounds for FIRING. Prepare the funeral party for the "journalistic" career of one Chris Parry aka HollywoodOz. Meanwhile you can follow the investigation of this KOmmie over at TWITTER.]

Thursday, July 09, 2009

"Rush Limbaugh should be thrown off Armed Forces Radio"

Removal of Rush Limbaugh from the airwaves seems to be a constant theme among the DUmmies. And the first place they want to start is at Armed Forces Radio as we saw in a DUFU EDITION last January. And now the DUmmies have returned to this topic as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, "Recommend this thread if you agree that Rush Limbaugh should be thrown off Armed Forces Radio." Yes, it wouldn't suprise me a bit if the Obamatons TRY to remove Rush from Armed Forces Radio but the result would be a huge OUTCRY from military personnel because Limbaugh is very popular with them. So let us now watch the DUmmies once again attack any hint of political diversity on the airwaves in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, contemplating a $7.99 all-you-can-eat Alaskan King Crab dinner at the Seminole casino in the very near future, is in the [barackets]:

Recommend this thread if you agree that Rush Limbaugh should be thrown off Armed Forces Radio

[Proposed the commandant of the DUmmie Thought Police.]

Why is he still allowed to spew his anti-American hate over Armed Forces Radio? Our troops should not be subjected to his vitriol. I can understand why Bush needed his propaganda, but why has Obama allowed it to continue?

[Ever think that maybe this is what the military personnel themselves actually WANT?]

Lets jack this up with recommendations - please keep the comments clean and rational. Then send the link in an e-mail to your Congress members requesting the immediate termination Rush's hate show from Armed Forces Radio.

[Clean and rational? You are doomed to lose on both counts. Now to the rest of the unclean and irrational DUmmies...]

Shouldn't the troops decide? Most of them like him.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

F*ck that. AFR should be non political.

[It looks like the battle to be clean and rational was lost from the get-go.]

While they're at it or when they get to it, they should take FOX news off AFRTS as well, since it's nothing more than a Repugnant propaganda network.

[All thought that varies from the leftwing party line must be ABOLISHED!]

FOX is NOT NEWS! It is just 24x7 propaganda. LIVE FROM ARUBA!

[DEAD FROM ARUGULA!]

Actually Rush doesn't charge AFR for his show

[An inconvenient fact.]

I personally find Limbaugh as offensive or even more so than the KKK because he is more insidious and not quite as overt..

[Posted the DUmmie from the Rubber Room.]

In fact, they should have Hartmann on to represent the center and then have Alex Jones or Noam Chomsky on to counteract Limpballs.

[This DUmmie loves the smell of lithium in the morning.]

Rush has been alluding to a coup or revolution, that may be fine for the "free speech" airways but AFR shouldn't be carrying anti-American programming.

[This "revelation" from a DUmmie who never actually listens to Rush.]

Because we don't live in a democracy. We live in a fascist state. He's a tool of fascism.

[A fascist state? But...but isn't The One now in the Oval Office?]

In a democracy, he wouldn't be kicked off, but there should be other voices like Thom Hartmann, or even Randi Rhodes, who is ex-military, so they have a choice. Although, I hear that they do get Randi by some kind of bootleg method.

[For Randi, the method would be bootleg vodka.]

Obama hasn't taken care of this yet?

[Don't worry. Give him time.]

I think he should be thrown under a speeding train. God, how I hate that man.

[Feel the love!]

ALL - REMEMBER TO WRITE CONGRESS AND THE WHITE HOUSE! Post the link to this thread so they know how we feel. We need to get this anti-American hate-monger off of AFR NOW! President Obama should have done that immediately, but to be fair, I'm not sure he knows about it. Our troops deserve better. How would you feel if you were deployed and the OFFICIAL radio station carried someone telling you your CIC isn't patriotic, doesn't support America, doesn't support the troops, should FAIL, and in the context of Honduras, implied that the military should stage a coup against him? That's not just disgusting, it is treason. As I said, our troops deserve better.

[HURRY! HURRY! Or I'll have a gigantic mudslide in my diaper!!!]

The guy has been advocating a military coup against Obama

[Posted another DUmmie who NEVER listens to Rush.]

Do You Even Have to Ask? Throw Him Off Everything. Take away his microphone.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

DUmmies Deeply Saddened By No "Public Option" Health Plan

Just as I predicted, Team Obama is being forced to offer pretty much nothing but a Happy Face Feel Good health plan to Congress devoid of "public option" aka "single payer" aka "government run" aka "socialized medicine." Why? Not that they wouldn't love such an expensive program. It's just, as Barack Obama himself has said, they are OUT of money. Plus the Chinese who own a major portion of our debt read the riot act to Timothy Geithner when he was in Peking and ordered him NOT to make the dollar even more worthless by incurring even more wasteful spending programs like socialized medicine. And for this we have to thank Obama's expensive Porkopulous program which did absolutely NOTHING to help the economy as was promised. And now NOTHING left to spend. So goodbye "public option" health plan. And, of course the DUmmies are agonizing over this painful fact as you can see in this THREAD, "So... No Single Payer... No Public Option..." That's right, DUmmies. No NOTHING! All you will get is basically "RESOLVED: Adequate Health Care is a good thing." So let us now watch the DUmmies mourn the loss of their beloved "public option" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, laughing at the irony of Porkopulous killing off Big Government spending programs, is in the [barackets]:

So... No Single Payer... No Public Option...

[Enjoy your Obama breakfast---Egg McNuthin'.]

Can someone please tell me what the hell is happening here? Where is the real reform? Am I just missing it?

[It disappeared when Porkopulous burned up all the money. And now to the rest of the disappointed DUmmies...]

The Audacity of Nope. Coupled with The Fierce Urgency of Whenever.

[LOL!!! "The Audacity of Nope." Will definitely be stealing that line.]

Obama played his part in making sure the public option had no teeth

[He tied his own hands with Porkopulous.]

Washington is happening. Specifically, the Senate is happening. And the Senate is a truly ridiculous holdover from an 18th century compromise that has only grown increasingly broken with time.

[What happened to that "love" for the Constitution that the DUmmies pretend to have?]

No single payer, but at the end of the day, youll probably get a "public option". Emphasis on option, whatever that means. Co-ops, exchanges, watered down medicare with conditional enrollment

["RESOLVED: Adequate Health Care is a good thing."]

Rahm Emmanuel may have some inside info. I could be wrong.

[And that inside info was that Porkopulous did NOTHING but burn up money and kill off any future big spending plans.]

My hope balloon is leaking air real fast

[SSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssss.....]

If Obama settles for some watered-down piece of crap, then we'll have gotten his message.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Tea Parties Drive DUmmies NUts!!!

One great fringe benefit of the Tea Parties is that they are driving the DUmmies absolutely NUts as you can see in this THREAD, "You dumb f*cking ignorant ass rednecks." Reading this thread by DUmmie Horse with no Name is like watching a public scream for mental health help. The deranged DUmmie is ANGRY that the Tea Parties are calling attention to Obama's FAILED economic policy. Of course, this DUmmie, and the others, are continuing to BLAME BUSH even though unemployment numbers during his presidency never came anywhere near 9.5%. Sorry DUmmies but Porkopulous did NOT work and they hate to be reminded of this inconvenient truth by the Tea Party people. So let us now watch the DUmmies go BERSERK due to the Tea Parties in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that mental health professionals will find this DUmmie thread to be verrrrry interesting, is in the [barackets}:

You dumb f^cking ignorant ass rednecks

[Hold on just a while longer, DUmmie Horse with no Name, your lithium treatment is on the way!]

Do you not realize how moronic you look in your wife-beater T-shirts and beer bellies gathered around some ignorant ass f*ck who knows as much about politics and history as rush limbaugh waving your flags and acting all patriotic now?

[Tea Parties getting to you much?]

Where were you when your drunken coke-addled preznit was spending our blood and treasure on his drunken follies intended only to fatten the wallets of the same men who bought the election for him in the first place? Where were you when the same idiot f*cktard was deregulating everything he could get his greedy hands on to again enrich the bank accounts of the men who purchased the election for him?

[Where you you when Barney Frank said that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were in good shape?]

Now you are sitting here amidst the ashes of "The House that Bush Built" wondering how the f*ck you can blame this monumental failure on someone else. Let me give you a word of advice. Shove that f*cking teabag up your ass. You aren't seeking redemption of this country...you are merely trying to assuage the guilt because THIS F*CKING CRISIS WAS ENABLED BY YOU!

[TEA PARTIES!!! SLOOOOOOOWLY I TURNED...STEP BY STEP...]

I am sorry. I passed one of these teabagging parties this am and was thoroughly and utterly disgusted at these poseurs trying to act like "Good Americans" all of the sudden. I hope they all f*cking choke on the bile that their ilk spills.

[Now that DUmmie Horse with no Name has submitted his application for the Rubber Room, let us from from his fellow loons...]

Teabagging is for nuts.

[So where is your teabag?]

good rant now that I'm fired up let me take my butt to church and I dare any rightwinger to talk sh... this a.m.

[I never realized that Ben Burch was so religious.]

I was doubly pissed because the Texas National Guard was "coincidentally" parked in the same lot as they were--of course, there was a 4th of July parade getting ready to be underway...and they had to park "somewhere" dontcha know?

[And you were "coincidentally" frothing at the mouth with rabid drool, DUmmie Horse with no Name.]

Brought all the racist loons out of the shadows.

[Clarence Thomas walked near you and inspired such an outburst?]

yep, 'white power' gatherings.

[Is that you, Janeane Garofalo?]

What was the freeper-to-portable-crapper ratio? Usually in these things its about 2 crappers to every freeper.

[That's the ratio of butterfly nets to every DUmmie.]

These are hate-filled ignorant bigots for the most part who let their educated "masters" speak for them.

[Speaking of hate-filled...]

Your post really sums up the sentiment over the last ten years, as we watched powerless. I still remember the first day I found this forum. And I'm grateful. We may never heal in our lifetimes. Too many idiots.

[You are correct. Your mental illness will never heal in your lifetimes.]

America is over, but like a chicken with it's head cut off, it just doesn't know it yet.

[So much for any faith that the Age of Obama will make things right.]

We killed it in the 80s and have been living off the carcass ever since. And like that Thanksgiving turkey after a week, there's nothing really left and it's really starting to stink.

[So I guess that control of the White House and Congress counts for nothing?]

They are protesting the uppity negro in THEIR White House. That kind of protest I have a *little* problem with. Sure, they are saying it's about taxes or bailouts or etc. etc., but the real reason is racist.

[Declared the DUmmie reading a Janeane Garofalo talking point.]

They are a bunch of self-absorbed assholes that only care about themselves. They take absolutely no credit for our current situation. Unless, of course, they can pawn it off on democrats.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

"Rachel Maddow's Audience Down Nearly 55%"

The previous DUmmie FUnnies EDITION demonstrated the laughable excuses the DUmmies have come up with to explain the high ratings of Fox News. In this DUFU edition we are treated to yet more DUmmie excuses only this time it comes in the form of FUnnie excuses to explain how MSNBC's Rachel Maddow has plunged so steeply in the ratings. You can see the DUmmies struggling to come up with excuses in this THREAD, "Rachel Maddow's Audience Down Nearly 55%." I can give you the easy explanation for her epic fail: she stinks! So what will MSNBC do when they have to ditch Maddow? If the past is prologue, most likely replace her with yet another leftwing loon who will also fail in the ratings department. So let us now watch the DUmmies attempt to explain away Maddow's failure in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Blowhard Ed Schultz is doing even WORSE in the ratings than Rachel, is in the in the [brackets]:

Rachel Maddow's Audience Down Nearly 55%

[To know her is to avoid her.]

MSNBC’s 9pm Rachel Maddow Show has seen its adults 25-54 audience, the demo that cable news advertisers target, fall by nearly 55% from Q4 2008 through Q2 2009.

[The chart above tell the story of her disastrous ratings plunge. And now on to the DUmmie excuses...]

Ouch. That's not promising.

[Mr. Understatement checks in.]

Isn't all cable news down significantly since the election? Why pick on Rachel?

[Sorry, Fox News has held steady since the election. Please think up another lame excuse.]

Either Hannity and O'Reilly have way more dedicated fans or I say there something rotten with those numbers. I mean O'Reilly's numbers haven't moved at all, which seem completely illogical.

[Perhaps the ratings were determined by Diebold?]

I guess you could say that Fox viewers are more loyal, particularly O' Reilly's viewers. I watch Rachel's show but if there's something else I want to watch or I have something to do, I skip it. Maybe Fox viewers have nothing better to do than watch Fox.

[The only thing else to do is watch YOU, DUmmie blue_onyx, on the DUFUs.]

The numbers still seem odd. It looks like June numbers did rise. But FOX numbers jump up to pre-election levels. The other channels don't. I don't think nothing else on TV answers why. It's summer time, people go outside and do stuff. Maybe the other poster is right and FOX is collecting all the crazy by being anti-Obama, but really I would think they'd already max that audience. It just seems really odd.

[An odd DUmmie comes up with an odd excuse.]

Nope sadly Fox is on pace for best year ever

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I think that's a false positive for FOX. Just like Limbaugh's numbers don't show the truth. Lots and lots of people who watch FOX and listen to Limbaugh don't agree with them at all and are watching just to hear the latest craziness.

[Don't you DUmmies argue that you NEVER watch Fox or listen to Rush?]

I've stopped watching. And I'm the only viewer that I care about.

[Proclaimed DUmmie HiFructosePronSyrup...]

Any particular reason or it just sort of work out that way?

[Inquired DUmmie ThomWV...]

Any particular reason? Just her being a stupid sack of shit.

[Responded DUmmie HiFructosePronSyrup bluntly.]

She's the only one talking continuously about the LGBT issues for example. No one else can be bothered.

[YAWN!]

Maybe it's her time slot. I'd love to see her on earlier...

[Or maybe it is just HER.]

lately she is really rubbing me the wrong way.

[Try laying on your back and perhaps she will rub you the right way.]

I LOVE her show, but it is summer.

[Then watch her continue to Fall in the Fall.]

She is smart and a great analyst, but as a host I find her a bore.

[Hey, at least she scored in two out of three departments.]

I lost MSNBC when Comcast changed my cable package. I can't afford to upgrade, so now I only see clips here from Keith and Rachel.

[Lucky you.]

This is made up crap presented without the benefit of any context or source. It is nonsense on the half shell. It is also posted with bad intent if you ask me. And the same old crowd shouts yes, yes to this utterly meaningless bit of non information. Fodder for fools.

[Is that you, Baghdad Bob?]

I would bet Rachel's numbers would be drastically improved if Internet viewers were to be counted.

[Please continue clinging to that lame excuse if it gives you comfort.]

Rachel is the voice of sanity. We are lucky to have her. I don't understand it either.

About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.