Welcome to Alan's Internet-Music (iMusic) Album. I thank God for giving me this love for music, performing and a complementing thick skin. Diary of my stay in Edinburgh and the influence of music in my life.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Finally have the courage to share this. Please do not miscontrue as some ploy to gain sympathy. I wanna use this to encourage those who may have gone through the same problem or in fact, any sort problems since the solution is always the same. This is the testimony I gave during this year's Easter party, one day before my birthday, which is 24/4. Got video to prove it too. After giving the testimony, I sang this song:)

The Video (6 minutes, so watch this only if you're really bored)

The Song

Break-up, New Zealand, ReasonsJust want to share with everyone very quickly how God has helped during a very difficult situation recently. The situation was none other than my girlfriend of 3 years has decided to break off with me during the beginning of the month. She has left for New Zealand October last year and had found a permanent job there not too long ago. I guess the main reasons for the break-up are the long distance and our different outlook in terms of our future direction.

Sacrifice, 2 lessons, negative feelingsI think all those who know both of us know that I loved her very much. I had given a 100% percent emotionally, mentally, physically and financially to make this relationship work. However, through this very painful experience, I have learned 2 very important lessons. I’ve learned that we can never substitute gratitude for love. A relationship can only be sustained if both parties feel the same way. I also learned that when a relationship goes bad, there are no right or wrong parties. Both have equal responsibilities and therefore no one should be blamed for the failure. You know friends, I could have easily victimized myself and settle into depression, anger, bitterness, hate and fear, fear that what if this is the last one. After this, no more chance of finding another life partner, fear of uncertainty in the future. But I can choose to let go and bless her. Why?

3 simple factsIt’s simply because of 3 simple facts. I know that God is in control. There is nothing in this world that will surprise Him. I also know that God has the authority and power to make things happen as long as it is within His plans for me. Most important of all, I know that He loves me and He is good. Despite this setback, His plans for me has not changed. These plans will continue to bless me, not to harm me. He has really given me a sense of real peace and assurance in my heart though it has been difficult emotionally for me. Yes I have cried, yes I have looked back and really feel it’s a great loss and ho sek but as I look towards the future and as I align myself with God’s will for you, I can only sense great hope. And He has blessed me with such caring family (my parents have been nothing but supportive for me when I told them the news). I have also been blessed by very dependable housemates, friends and colleagues. They have allowed me to not dwell too much on this issue and moved on with my life.

Difficulties and 2 choicesSo what’s my point today? Just to share with you another sad love story? You know, all of us will go through difficulties at various stages our lives. And most of the time, when these things happened, they are beyond our control. When we are faced with a challenge, we have a choice in our hands. We can choose to say, this is so unfair, this shouldn’t happen to me. Why me? And continue to wallow in self-pity, hatred, depression and bitterness. Or we can choose to say, ok, since this has happened, there is no point in indulging in negativity. Let’s make the best out of everything and surrender things that are beyond our control to God because God is in control, God has the authority and power over everything and God loves us.

3 responsesWhat about you friends? Do you have a burden in your heart that you cannot let go? I believe that tonight, the fact that you are here is no coincidence. I don know if what I just said just now made any sense to you. There’re only 3 things that you can feel, you either walk away from here tonight untouched, unmoved, unchanged from the whole experience. Or worse still you may feel offended, what is this fella doing, trying to say, trying to brainwash me. I’m smarter than all this. Finally, hopefully, you will go home tonight and think, not bad la. What this guy said actually made sense. Maybe I should try this the next time I have a problem. My friends, if you have kind of feeling, it’s not me talking to you but God talking to you directly. Feel free to ask us more questions later and we will answer them gladly. I would like to end the session tonight by singing this wonderful song. This song summarizes what I’ve just said very beautifully. The first time I heard it, I fell in love with it. Hope you will feel the same as well.