Okay, I know there are a lot of BACKSTREET BOYS
story out there and most of them are centered on people having
with crushes either BRIAN LITTREL, NICK CARTER
or KEVIN RICHARDSON. I try to make this a little
bit different from the usual with the celebrities themselves
falling for the fictional character.

I admit that I am not a BACKSTREET BOYS fan
although some of their songs really caught my attention. But I
am, indeed, a very big fan of BRIAN LITTREL and KEVIN
RICHARDSON, but since it was BRIAN LITTREL
who had a heart problem, I think it was best to center this story
around him. No, I don't think that he is gay, but it would
certainly be interesting if he is.

D I S C L A I M
E R :

I would like to remind you that this is just a part of the
imagination of the author and none of these events ever happen.
Any similarity between events in the story and situations in
somebody else's life is purely and absolutely coincidental,
accidental or, just simply, impossible. This story doesn't state
anything about BRIAN LITTREL's sexuality or
choice of lifestyle, implicitly or explicitly. Remember this is
just a composition based totally on the imagination of the
author.

This story contains a homosexual premise and has homosexual
undertones. If you are a minor, you know the rules. Please don't
read this and find something more suitable for you age. But if
you reach the age of majority, you can come back. If you're a
bigot who just wandered here by mistake, you are allowed to stay.
I would like to request you, however, to please keep an open
mind.

T E N T H I N G S
See a rainbow at dawn
X Taste the first snowflake of winter
X Go to Disney World
Flash someone from a car
See the dawn
Be a star
X Touch a snake
X Make someone smile
Talk to God
Kiss my soulmate

-------------------------C h a p t e r 1-------------------------

"Okay, tell me again!
Could someone PLEASE explain to me why I have to be bound in this
inhuman prison one more time?" I asked as I waved my arms,
flabbergasted.

My body was wrapped in cast for the second time around.
Uncomfortable prosthetics once again hugged my arms and my legs.
We were re-shooting a clip of our video "Show Me the Meaning
of Being Lonely". This was supposedly one of the first clips
in our video, after the gurney shot. Ironically, now, however, we
are shooting it last.

"Brian, don't be such a crappy asshole. And just follow
instructions. You know why we have to do this all over
again." Kevin scolded and warned me. "If you hadn't
been such an air-headed prick in the first day of shooting, we
would have been in vacation right now. I would have already hit
the snowy slopes of Aspen yesterday!"

As he began to walk away, he looked back at me and snickered
wildly. "By the way, do you know you look so pathetic and
stupid in that cast right now?"

"OH THIS IS THE PART WHEN I LAUGH, RIGHT?" I said in
dry sarcasm. "OKAY HERE IT IS, HAHAHAHA!!! THAT'S SO
FUNNY!!! I COULD JUST DIE LAUGHING" I gave him a bitter,
ridiculing laugh.

"Oh, so it's my fault now!" Then, I asked in mixed
indignation and amusement. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or
cry. "Shouldn't Nick be in my place? I mean, he used to be
the mummy in our 'Backstreet's Back!' video. He looks much better
under wraps. And besides it was because of him I had laughed
during the initial taping of the hospital sequence."

"Oh, no! You can't wrap me in tissue again, I don't like to
feel like a sausage anymore." He whined. Then he blurted
"Besides, you do look great in white. Which reminds me when
you get married, you should wear the gown."

I threw him my pillow as I shouted in mocked anger. "Nick!!!
I hate you!!!"

"Yeah, and I hate you even more!" He threw the pillow
back, laughing and sticking his tongue out at me.

"Okay guys! Let's just get this thing on the road. The
sooner we get this done, the better." The director ordered,
clapped his hands as glanced at his wristwatch, impatiently and
restlessly. He went over his seat and called Nick. "And, by
the way Blondie,.."

"The name is Nick!"

"Blondie, Nick, idiot... whatever,... who cares,... and all
those crappy, shitty politically incorrect words." The
director waved his hand in front of Nick's face, as if belittling
him. "Another wisecrack out from your big whiny yap and
you'll be the one wearing a cast for the rest of the spring
break."

"OHHHHHhhhh!!!" Nick whined and complained. "But
he looked so good to be teased right now."

"Nick, not another peep from you, or else." The
director glared at him, with nothing but total disdain,
irritation and contempt. "And I'm not kidding."

"Okay guys, cool it." Kevin interfered. "Nick,
quit whining and just stay in the sidelines. Brian, just do what
you're told and, like I said, don't such a crappy asshole. I have
a plane to catch, so let's get this show on the road."

"Hey! I don't like this place." I answered.
"Hospitals make me sick. It reminds me of my
operation."

"WELL, TOUGH LUCK, BRIAN!!! You know that it is your fault
why WE have to be in here in the first place." Kevin pointed
his finger at me in accusation, his eyebrows are starting to knit
together now. "If you hadn't crack a smile on the sound
stage, the hospital scene would have been way over before they
deconstruct the place!"

"Kevin, don't YOU DARE point your finger at me!!! And don't
give me that "eye-brow" knitting thing either. You'll
look like Frankenstein if you keep on doing that." I told
him in a warning tone then said as I glared at Nick. "It's
not that easy, you know. I mean with a blonde idiot running
around the place, who can concentrate!"

"HEY!!! I RESENT THAT STATEMENT!!!" Nick gave me one of
his horrendously high pitched whine.

"Nick, stop whining." Kevin ordered Nick and
sarcastically added. "And just get out of this room so the
STAR can concentrate."

Nick's face suddenly crumpled as he stood up to go to the door.

"Adolescent!!!" I laughed scornfully

"Rat boy!!!" Nick snorted as he left the room.

"Whiner!!!" I retorted.

"Asshole!!!"

"Dickhead!!!"

"BITCH!!!"

"SLUT!!!"

"DUMB BLOND!!!" Nick screamed.

"EVEN DUMBER BLOND!!!" I shot back.

"THAT'S ENOUGH, THE BOTH OF YOU DUMB BLONDES!!! NICK, LEAVE
THIS INSTANT!!!" Kevin shouted as Nick scampered out of the
hospital room. "IF YOU I EVER HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU AGAIN,
GOD HELP ME, I'M GOING TO SHAVE YOU BARE AND PUSH YOUR BALD HEAD
DOWN YOUR NECK SO DEEP THAT YOU'D HAVE TO BREATH FROM YOUR
ASS!!!"

Kevin came closer to me and requested in the softest voice that
he can possibly create, without begging. "Now Brian, let's
just get this over okay? I am tired. I know that you are tired. I
mean everybody in this set is dead tired. Look at the director!
Even the director is getting tired and he is running out of
patience! Believe me, that's not a good thing. " He pointed
out. Then taking a deep breath, he gave me a really pathetic
sigh. "I don't think I can handle this anymore. Let's just
get this over with, okay"

Then, Kevin turned away from me and wiped the sweat from his
forehead. He continued his 'oh so' boring and tiring sermon in an
exhausted and hoarse voice. "All you have to do his just lie
down and sleep, you don't have to do anything, you can just act
like a vegetable,... and well,... vegetate. You don't have to
over work yourself with the emotions. All you have to do is lie
down and act as if you are comatose, do you get that? Do you
think you can handle that?"

He walked away from the bed and spoke to himself, in a voice so
small that I may not hear it. "Don't tell me that you can't
do that. Because if you can't do that very simple task, then
you'll even be a dumber blond than Nick!"

"I HEARD THAT!!!" I shouted at him

"YEAH, I HEARD THAT, TOO!!!" Nick shouted from the
hallway.

"NICK, PLEASE LEAVE THIS HOSPITAL!!!" Kevin screamed to
the top of his lungs, as the nurses in the corridors shockingly
peered into my room.

"Now, where were we?" Kevin asked, a little bit more
irked than before. "Oh yes, do you think that's easy for you
to handle?"

"Easy for you to say." I replied, in insolence and
disrespect. I was already waving my arms up in the air. "All
you had done in this video is get drunk with some beer, and act
insincerely emotional and melodramatic, then you're done with
your stupid piece! I mean you don't have to be locked up in this
hospital and be stitched up in these uncomfortable cast and
prosthetics!"

"DAMNED IT, I should have followed Howie's advice and missed
this tedious video shoot. But noooo!!! I had to listen A.J.'s
suggestion and become a glorified babysitter for you two morons.
I have to listen to the shit heads!!!" Kevin shouted angrily
as he waved his arms in the air. "Why did I have to listen
to Dumbo, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb!!!"

"Lord give me strength, forgive me for my sins and spare me
from hell for what I am about to do this fucking bastard!!!"
Kevin looked up the ceiling and cursed under his breath.
Clutching his tightened fist and lowering his head, Kevin bit his
lips as he as said in a tired whispered. "Lord, I ask for
strength and your forgiveness."

"Kevin, you're absolutely not making any sense here." I
laughed at him mockingly. "Maybe you SHOULD dye your hair
BLONDE."

He, then, went near the bed and grabbed me by the collar.
Breathing deeply and erratically, he shouted explosively like a
spewing volcano. "LOOK HERE, LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN TO ME
WELL, RAT BOY. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE IN A REAL CAST, DON'T DARE
ME TO PUNCH YOU, RAT BOY!!! BECAUSE I AM REALLY LOSING MY
PATIENCE RIGHT NOW. DO YOU HEAR ME, RAT BOY???!!! DON'T DARE ME,
RAT BOY!!! DON'T YOU EVER DARE ME!!! YOU HEAR ME???!!!"

"Just punch him and be done with it." The director said
in exasperation. "This may be the only thing that would shut
him up! And besides we just need him to be comatose for the whole
scene. If he's out cold, then he doesn't need to act
comatose!""

Later after the shoot,
Nick met me on the staircase. "So, how did you do?"

"I think I did pretty well." I smiled as I walked down
the hallway. "But they decided that it was best to remove
the cast and the prosthetics, since I was already raving like a
mad man in there. But still I really did my best in there."

"Exactly what I had intended to do." I gave Nick a
devilishly wide and evil grin.

"I couldn't believe that you were able to crack Mr. 'I'm so
Cool and Mature.' I mean that takes great talent!" Nick,
gushing with sincere admiration, was now laughing his head off.
"I wish I have your talents. I wish I could give Kevin a run
for his money."

"Well... Yes, I still got it. I am still the king!!!" I
laughed smugly, raising my fist in the air in a victorious pose.
"I mean look at Kevin, the nurses nearly had to sedate him
after I called him a deranged old man. They almost had to check
his blood pressure, just to make sure he won't die of a
stroke!"

"You're just pure evil, man." Nick laughed his
head-off. "Just pure cold, soulless evil. I wish I was there
to see him."

"You missed the show?" I looked at him. "Boy, did
you missed I half of your life!"

"You know you should thank A.J. for this." Nick
grinned. "He was the one who urged Kevin to supervise the
video shoot."

"Well, too bad for A.J." I shrugged. "He would
have loved to be here."

Nick replied. "Well, bully for him."

"Where's he right now anyway?"

"He had to go to Prince Edward Island with his
parents."

I stopped dead on my tracks. The words Prince Edward Island hit
me like a ton of bricks. "Prince Edward Island, have I heard
that place before?" I thought to myself. "Why does that
place sound so familiar?.." I thought intensely for a moment
and realized it. "Of course, my dream!"

"Brian..." Nick waved his hand in front of my face.
"Earth to Brian, earth to Brian... Calling for Space Cadet
Brian Littrel, are you there?"

I was able to regain my thoughts. "Did you say something,
Nick?"

"Well, you space out for a while, I was wondering if
anything was wrong with you?" Nick looked at me with
concern.

"I was just thinking what I would do this spring
break." I lied.

"Brian, don't lie to me." He rolled his eyes.
"You're not a very good liar, you know."

"I guess it's true." I looked at him, creased my
forehead and thought. "Damned, I can really play practical
jokes on people but why am I such a incompetent liar."

"So what were you REALLY thinking anyway?" Nick
inquired.

"You know for a dumb blonde, you're not so dumb after all.
Just kidding." I jabbed him in the rib cage and became
silent for a while. I decided to tell him everything. "Okay,
I have just been so tired lately because of some recurring dream
that I had since I was twelve."

"Would you like to tell me about it?" He asked in
earnest.

"You wouldn't understand." I told him

"Try me."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "Do you believe in
soul mates?"

"Well, it's kind of romantic to believe in it." Nick
answered. "But it's not too realistic to dream of those
stuff anymore. It's like wishing for Santa Clause, the Tooth
Fairy, the Easter Bunny or, even, an honest politician to be
real, I mean they're all just fictional characters. It really
difficult to get your hopes up, you'd just be disappointed in the
end."

"Well, somebody didn't get what was on his Christmas Wish
List last Christmas." I said dripping with sarcasm as I
jabbed Nick in the ribs.

"Well, haven't you tried to be so good all year round only
to get nothing from Santa but a lump of coal?" he said
defensively.

"I'm sorry, I was only joking, Nick." I apologized,
then quipped. "But aren't you old enough to stop believing
in Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy?"

"BRIAN!!!" Nick whined.

"Sorry, Nick, I just couldn't resist it. Oh and I am sorry
about the lump of coal, too. I was the one who placed it in your
sock, hehehe" I snickered.

I thought to myself. "Nick, though is a good kid, is still a
kid nevertheless. I guess there are still immaturity issues this
guy needs to straighten out, I think I should have a talk with
this guy in the very near future."

I smiled and then it faded as my facial expression changed to a
more serious tone now. "I know it's difficult to believe in
soul mates but if you have a dream more than once since you were
twelve, you'd really think otherwise. I guess, I try not to
believe in soul mates it does give you a feeling of security that
someone out there is waiting for you, somehow, never giving up on
hope that you will eventually come someday."

I looked at Nick. By now the expression on his face was just a
big question mark, and not just that particularly dumb blonde
look. He really didn't get what I was talking about. So, I
decided to change the subject. "So where you heading this
spring break? A.J has already gone to Prince Edward Island. Kevin
had decided to go skiing at Aspen. Howie is looking forward for
Mexico."

"Well, not really sure where I am heading right now."
Nick answered. "But my mom said that she's taking me to the
Caribbean for a week or so. And after that I am scotch-free and
on my own, probably leave for Europe for the remains of the
spring break. How about you, what are your plans this coming
vacation? Are you going somewhere or just going to stay in
Florida?"

"Me? I haven't really mapped out my plans for a spring break
vacation. But if nothing ever comes out, I think I will just vege
out on the couch and rot." I giggled hysterically. "I
guess that's the best way to be lazy this vacation."

"Aren't you the lazy one!" Nick said. "At least do
something useful. Or just go to Fort Lauderdale, and do something
aside from being a couch potato."

"Hey, I'm tired." I said as I rolled my eyes. "I
should have the right to be lazy."

"Think of your time well-spent." Nick argued. "If
you don't want to do something productive, at least see the world
or something. Don't take anything for granted, Brian! This chance
will never come back again."

"No way!" I said.

"Well, suit yourself! Anyway, I have to go now. Mom's
probably waiting for me. We have to leave for the Bahamas
tomorrow." Nick started to run towards the exit. "And I
still have to do my packing."

"DON'T FORGET MY SOUVENIRS!!!" I shouted out to him,
then added, just for fun. "IF YOU ARE EVER GOING TO PASS BY
HAITI, BUY ME A VOODOO DOLL OKAY, I MIGHT JUST WANT TO PLAY
ANOTHER ON THE "DERANGED OLD MAN."

"Shhhh!!! Sir, do you know that this is a noise-free
zone?" A passing orderly hushed me. She was about
thirty-five years old, not so tall and had brown hair. She
continued. "This is a hospital. I would like to ask you to
lower your voice."

"I'm so sorry." I apologized.

"Hey, you're Brian Littrel, aren't you?" She said as
she looked closer at my face. "You ARE Brian Littrel. Mr.
Littrel, I am so sorry for being so uncouth to you." she
started her litany of apologies. "I swear, if I have know
that it was you,..."

I interrupted her, raising my hand as a signal that it was
certainly no problem. "Absolutely no biggie. Hey you were
just doing your job."

"Mr. Littrel, would you be so kind to give my daughter an
autographed picture of yourself?" She asked me. "My
young daughter, Laney is such a big fan of yours, since you first
came out with your first song! By the way, I am Mrs.
Lawrence."

"Sure, but I don't usually carry a picture of myself
everywhere." I told her.

"That's okay." She smiled but I could see the
disappointment in her eyes. "Maybe next time, perhaps."

She started to walk away and left me standing on the hallway.
"Wait, Mrs. Lawrence!!!" I called out to her. "If
you could give me your address, I could send the picture to your
house."

"That's a splendid plan!" Her eyes were positively
gleaming now. As she reached inside her pocket, she told me
"Wait, let me get a pen and a piece of paper. Would you be
so kind to hold these notebooks for me?"

"Sure, no problem." I said as I received the notebooks,
trying to balance them on my arms. "You know these sure look
so heavy and, opps!!!

With a very loud and tremendous crash, her notebooks toppled from
shaking arms and impacted down on the gleaming hospital floor. I
immediately stooped down to pick-up the large notebooks. As I
reached notes and papers scattered on the floor, I noticed a
piece of loose leaf neatly typed with the name "TEVYN
WINTERS" in bold letters.

I was dumbfounded and shocked. "Tevyn Winters..." I
thought in awe and fear. "TEVYN WINTERS...