This is why Muslim Marriage sites are wack!

Muslima.com is wack! Why? They don’t have privacy policies when it comes to profile pictures. Even non-Muslim related sites like Facebook and MySpace provide this option. Then again if matriomonial sites didn’t prodive pictures of the members then no one would join. I guess that’s why all the sisters are wearing niqab. I never liked the Muslim matrimonial sites.

In my personal opinion, Facebook does a lot better job in hooking up Muslims than any Muslim marriage site. Don’t lie! You know you Facebook’d your wife/husband and/or fiance/fiancee and/or future prospectives. For the brothers, they love to see the sister has only sisters on her wall (but yet the brother can have sisters on his wall). For the sisters, they love to see that in all his pictures he’s with only brothers. Actually I just made those up, I have no idea what brothers and sisters expect.

This is not a pro-Facebook-Marriage-Seeking-Machine post, but Facebook has many more advantages than any Muslim matrimonial site. How many people do you know are registered on any of these Muslim matrimonial sites? How many people are your friends on Facebook? Bingo! That’s the halal jack pot right there. It’s all about connections. How many marriages do you know have happened through connections rather than matrimonial sites? In fact how many marriages do you personally know came out of these matriomonial sites?

44 Replies to “This is why Muslim Marriage sites are wack!”

Oh, and I tried nikah.com, shaadi.com, and match.com – only match.com seemed to have any promise, and eventually I met my wife through it (though also kind of through yahoo.com since she didn’t have a paid match.com account).

You know a lot of Muslims talk about arranged marriage, saying its so terrible because you don’t know the person you are marrying (which isn’t in Islam at all) – but for the sake of argument what’s the diff between these crappy sites and arranged marriage. Quite frankly I thinks it’s totally haram and immoral to scan through a catalog of people looking for the best face you can find to marry.

And what’s more annoying? – the advertisements with a giant picture of a “Muslim” girl – what are they trying to sell here? A service for marriage for Muslims who can’t find a mate – or a site where you can judge a bunch of people for how they look.

Muslimahs use the sites because they have no other options. It’s very difficult getting married in the US. We already have a very limited pool and certain brothers also have specific requirements like age, skin color, nationality etc. Luckily for them they can go overseas to get married or marry non-Muslims but we can’t. This is the only option some sisters have. May Allah help us find righteous spouses whatever the means inshaAllah.

Kearns and H. Ahmed – You guys didn’t read my post carefully. I am talking about Muslim matrimonial sites. Eharmony and match.com are non-Muslim sites. They probably do a much better job than Muslim ones. Naseeb.com was useful in the past pre-facebook of course. In 2008, though, it’s a different story. Right now all those Muslim matrimonial sites are pretty much wack in my personal opinion. All of them are into making money instead of hooking people up.

I guess a lot of people use them and we don’t know how much. Most of muslims i would say use facebook more than myspace. its more halal than myspace. But when you are looking for a mate, you gonna search everything!

Reverts to the deen, and anyone else who is not that well connected to a Muslim community. Muslim matrimonial sites are just one way to make the initial connection, nothing more. People in larger Muslim communities have access to “auntis” and imams and others who can help them find a spouse, but there are many people who don’t have access to that, nor do they have Facebook profiles full of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes.

It’s not the right solution for everyone, but it certainly is not the worst thing in the world.

Faraz – The aunty/uncle/family/imam connection is also not as popular. Muslims use instant messaging, Facebook, MySpace and other social outlets that allow users to have more privacy than these Muslim Matrimonial sites. They also provide a more realistic look to the person than the matrimonial sites.

I am working on something truly different its a muslim matrimonial site too but very different and taking different approach to hooking up Muslims.

my priority is safety, and reality i hate the fake people in every matrimonial sites.

insha allah it will be ready soon, unfortunately it won’t be free because i have a major program on there which will make the member the real winner in the end. contact me if you are interested to check early.

My name is Umar Saeed Shah I am a beautifil Male of 20 year old from Pakistan. I
am looking to meet the rigkt match for me,some one who is very similar to
me,some one who understand me and love me.I don,t need time waster. I would like
an Girl who is Trustworthy,Caring,Loving,Hardworking, Responsible and Faithful.
I would like some one who is between the Age of 17 To 22 Email me with Pictures
My Email Adress:umarshah777@yahoo.com My Cell Number:+923086981690 My
Website:www.opdeshak.com

My name is Umar Saeed Shah I am a beautifil Male of 20 year old from Pakistan. I
am looking to meet the right match for me,some one who is very similar to
me,some one who understand me and love me.I don,t need time waster. I would like a Girl who is Trustworthy,Caring,Loving,Hardworking, Responsible and Faithful.
i im a very down to earth guy, generally like to go out and experience new things. But having a good chat with close friends can be just as satisfying, it usually ends up in laughter anyway. keeping my mind and body in good shape is essential and generally making the most out of opportunities in
life and very sporty when im not injured.

im just at university right now,i love to have a good laugh now and then, you definetly need to enjoy life. However i feel the need to work hard to become successfull in my chosen field.

i see myself as someone people can easily get on with. but i do suck when in comes to filling out these sections about myself. i feel i can convey more of who i am by talking to some one rather than just posting it …

Ofcourse islam is a very big part of my life. Its helped me become a man of morals, if i were to put myself in black and white: i’d say im honest, very competitive, humble, humurous and very hard working when the time arises.

What am I looking for????????????????????????

someone who is essentially a good person.
she has got to have a knowledge of her religion and the real world. we need a balance to survive in this world…

has a real fire inside her to become a successfull person and she needs to be strong minded.

you’ve got to know where you want to go in life. you need to be able to relax aswell, having a good time and can go out and have new experiences.

I would like a Girl who is Trustworthy,Caring,Loving,Hardworking, Responsible and Faithful.
I would like some one who is between the Age of 17 To 22 Email me with Pictures
My Emai adress available on first page ofhttp://www.opdeshak.com
with Name: Umar Saeed Shah

MR: One thing that’s absolutely true — you NEVER know who visits these matrimonial sites, because, in essence, you don’t know much about the people who started these sites. Who are they? What kind of crowd they attract? Who they advertise their site to for traffic? What school of thought (madhab) they adhere to?

Sometiimes we think these sites are as big AS THE WORLD — everyone from all over goes to them, so our chances our better.

But at the end of the day, it’s a small crowd. Real small.

So knowing who runs a matrimonial site, and knowing about them, matters. Because people flock to the name. And the reputation of these mat sites. I, for one, thought it was simple — go, post a profile, and pray.

But, after thinking about it, I see that it’s more complicated. In short, I agree, mats are wack.

I agree that some of these sites are not ideal because there it is very difficult to find a potential match by just reading a 5 line paragraph about the person.

At the same time it can potentially provide a safe means to meet someone.

The problem is, it is very hard to see if the person who posted the profile is serious. Also it is way to easy to register and so people may feel shy to post details about themselves because someone they know who is not interested in marriage but really interested in poking fun might come across their profile.

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1.) I kindly disagree with MR on whether Facebook is better than these websites or not – because essentially they are the same. The amount of details you get from Muslima.com or Facebook.com is dependent on what the person decided to put up about themselves, whether it be visual or written details.

2.) All websites have various degrees of photo control, and even then its really up to the individual (man or woman) what to put up. If you’re a muhajjabah, then you’ll put up hijabiified pics of yourself as you are out in public, of course.

3.) I’ve been on plenty of those sites before, I have indeed come across quality people and matches, so they definitely exist. I know plenty of people personally who are on those sites as well. And out of the six-and-something billion people in the world, there are six-and-something billion different personalities. You find out a lot about people by reading what they’ve written about themselves, what personality profile they fit into – in fact a former site MuslimMatrimonialsNetwork (MMN) which I believe is now folded into Muslima.com, it had Dr. Hartmann’s color personality profile available for free for every member and it was freakishly accurate, in fact I’d say its hands down one of the most accurate personality profile tests out there. You just can’t get that on Facebook.

4.) People join for all sorts of reasons. Some people, like me, join because we like having multiple access routes for finding a suitable partner. Although I live in the Toronto area which is one of the four biggest Muslim population centers in North America, that cannot be the only market I look in for a prospective spouse. Why should I deny myself all the other major cities and population centers? So of course, I’m gonna go through the aunty networks, the professional connections, the family and friends networks (which includes Facebook), I’ll go through the matchmaking services – both personally tailored ones and generic one like the matrimonial sites. Its just straight up statistics. I have a better chance of finding more suitable matches if I use all available options, rather than restricting the pool to just one or two areas / options.

5.) Some profiles are not serious at all, in fact I’ve come across plenty of profiles where the pic was of a sister that I personally know, but the profile was completely different location, personality, everything. i.e. – someone had lifted her pic from somewhere [either another matrimonial site or facebook] and then posted it on that profile, pretending to be her or just using that pic instead of their own. God alone knows their full intentions.

I strongly disagree with your point MR. It’s entriely up to the person how he uses (or abuses) those matrimonial websites. I personally found my other half through muslima.com and have been living happily since then alhamdulillah. Every one and everything in this dunya has shortcomings…

I’m launching a new fun and exciting marriage site that should be up and running in January 2010. I welcome all to come to the site and use the Contact Form there to indicate your thoughts and ideas about what you’d like the site to offer. We’re in the finishing stage of completing the site so please let us know as soon as possible what you expect and how we could satisfy your needs. All suggestions and recommendations are welcome and much appreciated .

I don’t think this is the right time to condemn or argue on much ado about nothing. The problem has been identified, fine! Then there must be a solution, too. For every problem, Allah has, as well, prepared a solution. Of course we might still be searching for that solution. Let not start criticizing ourselves. Site engineers and programmers should be wary of these accusations and try to give full and detailed private policies when writing their programs. May God bless us all. If you want to make presentations (mostly on power point), you may call me on +2348022547643 or e-mail me on walemann1@yahoo.com; or aroleolawale@yahoo.com. My blog is mygoodislam.blogspot.com.
Regards to all.
Wale.

Muslims are in an error so manifest that it is relogating them to the ignorance of the arab days before islam. Marriage to these people has become a process void of any integrity, value or meaning. The idea of marriage amongst 99% of muslims is a practice not that distinguishable from entering a brothel and choosing your sexual partner. the small difference is that the partner who in islams case is usually chosen for you must remain your sexual partner for good.I say hail the brothel in this instant…. muslims wake up.

I want to agree with the above comment by sol…… Its a strong comment but the strength of the pain that comes with the alternative is stronger.Muslims must become more outgoing and honest and earn the freedom they are appointed by allah…. Im talking to muslim girls who are duped by a false responsibility to all but allah when they get married. Stop hiding behind your hijabs. this hiding is the hiding of cowards.

Single muslim to find marriage in any western country is difficult. Personally my self as a young muslim have struggled…. even with my handsome looks 😉 I think people have resulted to trying different techniques to come across other muslims. There are social groups and I even tried online marriage websites… last one i tired was free shaadi which was okay. Nice thing about islam as well is you do have family introductions which a few of my friends have benefited from. Who knows what the future holds. Allah kareem.

I am a staff member for a new Muslim Matrimonial site that will be live by August 2010. You can check us at http://www.misterNmisses.com!! We promise to be 100% different from all the other sites. Registeration will start early June and you will be allowed to view profiles and and etc. by August inshAllah.