This blog is a part of self discovery, a symbol of my passion for writing - my madness, an attempt to be a part of the 'Write-A-Thon'. This is my space - beyond the judgement of others. Here, I dabble mostly in romance, poetry, shayari, book reviews, social issues that bother me and trending topics (venturing out of my comfort zone) with a dash of personal insights about life - an entertaining fiction itself!

Tuesday, 29 December 2015

It is the last day of my week long vacation today! Happy to
be back to work tomorrow on. Have many
Nano Fiction's ready to post, but I guess blogging will be at a slower pace now
on!

As promised, this is Post 2 about 'Reflections of a Man'
written by Mr. Amari Soul. Nonetheless, I loved the book and would love to
share some snippets and lessons I learnt about men, women and relationships in
general!

This book provides you with an insight on the complexity and
beauty of personal relationships. The author wrote this for every strong and
independent woman out there. This book will heal your broken heart and
give you a whole new perspective on your life.

Every page will make you say “That is the truth” or “Oh now
I understand.” This beautifully written book goes inside the mind of men and
women and tells the untold meaning of many things that people face in their
relationships. It uses the amalgamation of beautiful words, soul touching
poetry and striking quotes to create the perfect fusion that hits those hidden
feelings of any person.

For a woman, this spectacular piece of literature will be a
true eye opener. You will read through the pages and each one will make you
realize how amazing you are and you are worth so much more than what you
imagine. It gives you the ability to recognize your abilities and your value.
You learn never to settle for less, to give yourself the respect you need to
achieve great heights. It gives you the concept of what is the “wrong man” for
you and how he can lead to a huge disaster in your life that you do not even realize.

For men, it gives a take on the complexity of the woman mind
and emotion. You will learn what the woman desires emotionally and what you can
do to make her feel worth all that she is. Not only will you learn about her,
you will have a new take on yourself too. It will make you relinquish the old
perceptions that you have and learn about all the new points you never saw. You
will see how to increase your abilities, raise your standards and be the man
you want to become.

Some
of the lessons which are my personal favorite:

1. It is hard for a good woman to give up. She will always
keep trying to make it work, even after the man has given up. When she finally decided
to walk away, it was never easy. She debated that idea many times in her head,
gave you countless chances. Exhausted and heartbroken she left.

2. Do not remember a man with his first impression, remember
what was his last memory with you. Did he leave you crying alone? Or was he
there to comfort?

3. Don't break yourself to fix a broken man. He will do you
no good.

4. A healthy relationship grows with you, not against you.

5. The best sex without love, still won't fill the void you
will feel without the right person.

6. Trust your intuition, it will tell you things you need to
hear and not necessarily what you want to hear.

7. Don't let them protect things with a password. If you
can't see things he/she does, there is no base of your relationship. Don't
allow him to make you feel guilty with a
cliche "If you trusted me, you wouldn't ask me my password."

8. Dont force a man with ultimatums. They rarely work.
Possibly they could work for a short term, but slowly he will not be able to
keep it forever. How long can anyone act?

9. You would want him to take decisions by himself for both
of you and not you enforcing your decisions on him.

10. He could be a good man but still not be a right man for
you. When he is wrong, accept it. Giving him time won't make him right.

11. Don't change for a man, for he will replace you once he
finds the woman he was trying to make you.

12. There is nothing weaker than a man who strings you along
and one fine day leaves you in dark.

13. You can never give a man enough who is willing to take
everything from you. Some men are only takers. Even after giving them all you
could they come always with their hands outstretched asking for more!

14. A good man can have issues with you, but if he is not
ready to sort them to get through the relationship and fix the issues, let him
go.

15. If a man feels your ambitions threaten his manhood, he
is insecure.

16. When you want to replace that wall around your heart,
with a man, make sure he protects your heart and not rupture it. Your man
should be your protector and not an abuser.

17. Never chase a man. Don't make him emotionally lazy.

18. Never let a man break you emotionally or mentally. A
weak man can never sweep you off your feet because he simply doesn't possess
the strength to lift your spirit.

19. Cheating is a conscious decision, you cannot apologize
for it and get away. It isn't an accident, at all.

20. You can't complain about being in a situation you have
the power to change but you choose not to.

21. Break ups are hard if the love was real. Because you
would always want to make it work. Love won't just let you walk away.

22. Only a new love can repair the damage caused by an old
one. A new love means spiritual love or
self love, need not be always another person. If you are strong woman - who do
you run to when you are the one everyone runs to? Spiritual love is the answer
to endure the pain.

23. Forgive as they go about living their lives as they
wish. Don't let your resentment hurt you. You do not have to be miserable.

24. With love you make yourself prone to vulnerability. But
with great risks, come great sorrows or great rewards. They will be a blessing
or a lesson.

25. Listen to your conscience; it is God talking to you
directly. God makes no mistakes. Give yourself a fair chance of happiness even
after something awful has struck you.

26. A weak man will feel threatened by your strength; a
strong man will compliment it! Weak men will feel you're asking for too much!

27. Loving the wrong person will cost you everything. Yes,
EVERYTHING. Still, don't take anything less than what you deserve.

I am
utilizing my mini vacation to the fullest by almost posting daily now. Because
I am pretty sure, my blogging activities will be active only on the weekends soon.
The struggle is real and being a professor is not easy. Hours will be spent in
preparing for the lectures to deliver and blogging will unfortunately take a
backseat.

Just
today, I finished reading, 'Reflections
of a Man' by Mr. Amari Soul. And so my post today will revolve around it.

This
book gives me hope. Since it is majorly written about men by a man. Also, it
made me differentiate between - What as a girl I wanted when I was a teenager
and what today as a woman I want from a man. I have decided to do 2 posts on
this. Another post will describe what I learnt from the book, which I would
like to propagate so that people have healthier relationships; because the
world I see today saddens me.

As a
teenage girl, we all have a clichéidea
of what we look for in a boy - good looks, maybe rich, handsome, good sense of
humor, etc, etc.

As a
woman, now I realize most of these take a backseat when 'reality' strikes.
These aren't really the things you want from a 'man'. I am listing down a few
things I feel we as women should look for in a man, inspired by 'Reflections of
a Man' ~

1. Money is nothing. His time is everything.
Watch out if he is willing to come to you when you're ill or his friends still
hold an important place for him than you. Magic is found in presence, not
absence! Love is everything, because I can finance myself. I do not need your
money, dear man. Financial and physical attributes are not a priority for a
woman, my emotional needs from you are what you should be capable of catering
to!

2. As a
woman, I want that if a man promises me that he will do something on a particular
day that will profoundly impact our future together, he should stick by it and
not give priority to any other work. A man who cannot keep his promises today,
will mostly follow that pattern after marriage too.

3. I
should not feel the need to tell him, "I miss the old you." People stop
taking efforts and doing lovely things they initially did, once the
relationship gets older.

4. A man whose heart is bigger than his ego.
Because Mr. Amari Soul says, "What is more fragile than a woman's heart? A
man's ego." Tell him the truth, he gets hurt and then my dearies! You are
gone! He will not for a moment, reflect on the truth you have just spoken. Some men just get almost
handicapped if you hurt their ego by
speaking the right thing; and they are so talented, they make you feel
guilty for it too.

5. A
man who doesn't let too much time pass without knowing what's on my mind.

6. A man who can communicate! And not just
shut up when he has issues with me. I am no God to know everything on my own!
SPEAK UP!

7. Plan
his future with me, realistically. Do not sow seeds of dreams you have no intention
of fulfilling. As a woman I do not want a man who prepares me for the worst
when he plans his future with me. Nobody knows what the future holds, but you
have no right to promise me - there will be bad times and only I have to
compromise always. Why would I, dear man, marry to add drama to my life?!

8. Who
notices or appreciates little things I do for him and not just counts the
things he has done for me.

9. If I
ask for basic things like privacy, a place to keep my stuff when I marry you
and live in with you in a new house, etc. and if you feel I have asked you a
part of your property and it's too much, you are not marriage-ready, dear man!
Go, get a reality check!

10. Who
will always have my back. Whenever I am there or not there - but a woman wants
you to defend her honor when an xyz
person speaks ill of her, be it your own
people too. Never take a man who cannot stand up for you before his people or
in public. Because chances are you may
have to cry yourself to sleep in future. There is no point in being together
when you both cannot support each other.

11. As
a woman, I want a man, who knows that every person in his life has a different
status and everyone's importance is
different. One who gives you your place in his life, even when everyone is out there
to snatch it from you out of insecurity - is worth the keep.

12. My ambitions should not threaten his
manhood. A man who is man enough to support me shine in whatever I do and
respect my family as his own; be supportive in household chores is a gem.

13. A
man with no vision or direction will do no good to you, as he does no good to
himself as well! So, a man with vision - a must!

14. Someone
who is willing to listen. He doesn't necessarily have to agree with me, but
just be there. If I can't open up to you
about what I think, then who should I talk to? It isn't about being right or
wrong - but about having "that conversation." Someone who talks
"to me" and not "at me"!

15.
Look for his actions, how consistent they are. His words will eventually have
no value. He should put in as much efforts as you do. Or else there will be a
mismatch of energies between you two.

16. Good men don't run, so never chase a man.
Never convince a man your worth.

17. A
man who is not judgmental. And who believes that I am strong today because of
my past and present both beautifully woven
together.

18. One
who isn't an expert in playing 'blame games' but sits down and analyses what
wrong (actions/in-actions) we both did that caused a few problems in the
relationship. Nowadays people aren't really ready to accept that may be they
are a part of the problem itself! The man who remembers he is in the same team
as you are and if one loses, both lose.

19. Honesty and Transparency ~ Someone with
whom I can be naked with - in my thoughts and he still won't hurt me. Because
one secret to keep = thousand lies to hide it.

20.
Someone who will be devoted to make
things work, ALWAYS.

21. The
kind of 'friends' he makes. Company tells a lot about a person.

22. His
behavior with you, your family, his family, and people around him when he is
angry. How he treats people inferior in status to him is a pointer of how he
is!

23. One
who won't make me regret for giving him my mind, body and soul.

24. You
can never give a man enough who is willing to take everything from you. Some
men are only takers. Even after giving them all you could they come always with
their hands outstretched asking for more! Such men - a big no no!

The
thing is even after you prepare a list of what you want and do not want, you'll
still fall for the wrong men. Loving the wrong person will cost you everything. But
it's okay! Don't take anything less than what you deserve.

I loved the book! Mr. Amari soul - you are from the same planet as women, trust me, because you understand them so well. :)

Friday, 25 December 2015

People
say, 'Love is blind.' I totally disagree. Infatuation is blind, love is
all-seeing and accepting. Love is seeing all flaws and still accepting them. It
is accepting their bad habits and mannerisms, still making it work. Love is
recognizing all their insecurities and fears and understanding your role is to
comfort.

Love is
not fragile like infatuation, love will not shatter when life is imperfect, it
will instead strengthen if it is real.

At the
end of the day, it doesn't matter how much you fought or how little you talked,
if you're certain that he/she is the only person in the universe who could make
you feel loved even with their silence - you shouldn't give up at any cost!

Besides,
I feel there are some people you can't un-love. Even if God shows you their
true color over and over again, you continue to paint a different picture;
because you cannot see them in the wrong light ever. You only love and love
such people. It doesn't matter what they've said or haven't done because you
are going to love them anyway. There is going to be that soft spot in your
heart for them, a feeling of warmth that will overtake you every time you will
think of them. You just can't help loving them. Who said love is complicated?
Love is simple, it requires no reason to thrive.

Thursday, 24 December 2015

First
of all, this is my 260th blogpost. I am so glad to have touched this milestone.
I never had any idea when I started blogging, that I would reach here with more
than 1.5 lakh pageviews! I feel so happy to be doing what I do.

******************

Today I
will talk about 'moving on'. This means different to different people. For some
it can mean that after you end a relationship, give yourself some time, and
then move over back to any of your old 'ex' or some new person. Or for some it
can mean - try as much to save a relation, if it doesn't work, accept that you
do not have a forever with some people and things are not going to change, then
you try to stay happy in the happiness of the person you loved and decide to
give your entire life for that person, because you know you can never
emotionally invest the same with anybody else ahead.

Basically,
everyone is different and everyone copes with different things in different
ways.

For the
people belonging to the first category, it may be a regular routine to get over
somebody and 'move on'. But the second category, abides by all the promises
they made during the relationship and stick to the fact that - "I have no
future with anyone except that one person who is now gone. And it's okay. I can live alone." What breaks these people who
dwell on relationships for long is when the person for whom they are ready to
sacrifice is the fastest to move on.

The first
category of people move on for different reasons - they cannot handle
loneliness and want to fill that space ASAP or they are too weak and want a
shoulder to cry on or maybe even for their physical needs or parental pressure.
Some people can be cold and heartless. Such kind of people never really
invested emotionally in you. Often these kind of people do not want to wallow to
the pain and sulk, hence rebound, and options are easily available in a digital
world like ours nowadays.

The
speed in which a man moves from a breakup to a new amorous attachment is
directly proportional to the pain he's feeling -- the deeper the hurt, the
quicker the hook up. So if you see your ex in the arms of another within days
of your breakup, remember 'IT'S STILL OKAY, though not justified.
It is his/her way of coping with it - however cheap a way to mend the broken
heart.' With that understanding in place, it is perfectly reasonable to go home
and cut his/her head out of all the photos of him/her you own, and incinerate
them in your barbecue. *winks*

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Last
Saturday, IndiBlogger hosted its last blogger meet of 2015! We met one last
time this year to share a few drinks and have some fun at Blue Frog, Mumbai.
Just loved the sitting arrangement and the ambiance there.

The
IndiBlogger team had a quick introduction, followed by a talk by Kalpana - a
parent blogger. Later, Chota Bheem and Flipkart team members took over to share
their thoughts on the e-commerce trends that are changing the way people shop
for their kids. I clicked a snap with the very-famous-among-children 'Chota
Bheem'! Check it out!

Various
bloggers shared their views on the e-commerce trends that are changing the way
people shop for their kids.

I feel,
kids these days are super smart and cannot be lured by simple things. Hence,
the way people shop for their children has changed too. Kids these days are
very much fashion conscious and aware of the latest trends. Hence, online
shopping comes to the rescue and saves you a lot of hustle and bustle. Order
'trending' stuff for your children and if there are quality issues, size issues
or simply if your kid is unhappy with it, you can change them with easy returns
policy on Flipkart! Technology has made things this simple.

My 10
year old nephew already adds the stuff he wants his parents to buy for him into
the Flipkart shopping cart, can you imagine, that's how smart kids have become
with these e-commerce trends coming up in market!

In
light with these changing trends, our team of bloggers performed an Ad called
#FlipkartSanta where each one of us covered the different ages of a child and
their specific requirements at every age.

Flipkart
has launched the 'Li'l Star, India's Biggest Online Kids' #FlipkartKids Store on 19th
December, 2015 with nearly thousand national and international brands, awesome
isn't it? Makes shopping for your little ones so comfy and convenient. You do
not need to go store to store searching for the right outfit/toys/books and so
much more for your kids. You just need an internet connection and vroom you go!
Take your kid along and browse until you get the best deal on Flipkart from
toys to clothing to accessories, shoes, books, bags, and a lot more.

Source: Indiblogger

Personally
I love Flipkart and now that it has a special range for kids, it has become so
very easy to buy stuff for the kids in the family. Kids are the most choosy
creatures!

With the launch of Flipkart Li’l Stars I am looking forward to pampering my little
cousins with an amazing range of products from brands like Fisher Price, Lego, Chota
Bheem, Disney, Barbie and other international brands that are just a click
away. See the image below to get an idea of what I am talking about!

Off
late, I have started to realize that I can glorify pain. We do not realize the
power that pain and loneliness give us. Some of my best written pieces are when
I was not in a happy mood. Pain changes you profoundly. Intense, debilitating, saddening
emotions often bring out great words. Pain works for writers, it really does.
And that doesn't mean always that the writer writes about his/her own pain, quite
often it is a conglomeration of what they observe around that saddens them.

Pain
strikes when you are unprepared and is often glorified through words, songs,
written letters. The saddest of songs have but naturally come out when the
writer was sad and felt every emotion described in the song.

I don't
know if this is a shayari or whatever. Maybe totally random. I love writing in
Hindi, but emotions come out only rarely in this language. Today was one such
day.

I like
being happy, but these days, my colleague, a very senior Professor tells me,
"Aayesha, angoor ki tarah raho, kismish mat bano. Smile always! I like you
cheerful." She is such a sweetheart, I tell you.

Anyways,
I wrote this in a jiffy, but it turned out to be nice, I didn't want to
backspace all that I had written, so sharing it on my baby blog, who is
ever-listening to my ramblings. This is probably the best I have written in
Hindi-Urdu mix: My personal opinion.

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Getting
author signed books delivered right at your doorstep is one of the blessings blogging
bestows on you.

The
novel starts as the story of an aspiring author Shreya, who is from IIM. Shreya
right from the beginning appears as a manipulative, ambitious girl who can go
to any extent to fulfil her dreams. She exploits Aditya in every sense to
publish her book (even if that means sleeping with him) and turns his life
upside down. Aditya is bewitched by Shreya.

Adultery causes chaos in Aditya's household while Shreya is busy finalizing her
manuscript. It is when Maya, Aditya's devoted wife is on the deathbed that
Aditya realizes that he has wronged her by indulging with Shreya, and seeks her
forgiveness while deciding that sleeping with Shreya hasn't, in any way,
hampered the love for her almost dead wife. The turmoil of a wife when she
finds out her husband is having an affair is portrayed in a very emotive
manner. The part where Maya gets Ebola has been explained in a good way too.

As
Aditya puts an end to his adulterous relationship with Shreya, she doesn't take
it very well and poses a threat to his writing career as well.

The
characters are very neatly etched out. The story brings out the fragility of
human relationships beautifully. From the plot to the characters to the
dialogues everything is just perfectly served!

Ravi
Subramanian is an amazing thriller writer and his books start doing magic right
from the first page itself. Kudos to him for venturing out into something so
drastically different from his previous works and yet managing to do it with
such an amazing ease and perfection.

With so
many writers aspiring to become ‘Best Selling Authors’, this book gives an
insight into the Best-Selling game and guides the reader regarding the process
of writing, editing, publishing and marketing the book.

This
book is definitely a thumbs up from me. It is pretty light and easy read and
keeps you hooked to the climax too. It is a corporate saga of love, betrayal,
friendship, vengeance, dreams, desires, love, lust and longing all wrapped into
one.

I found
the book interesting also because it provides a man’s viewpoint on extramarital
affairs. Many books that deal with this theme are women-centric and dwell on
the fate of the woman. What happens when a middle-aged guy falls for a woman,
loses his carefully constructed family and world and wants to end it all
because he loves his wife? What can he do when he realizes he is being used,
yet is still in love with the ‘other’ woman?

There are minor grammatical errors that could have been avoided. Overall,
the story is a potboiler, with the right mix characters, conversations, twists
and turns. The chapters are short and engross the reader, making it
difficult to put the book down. It definitely makes the reader a better person
by the end.

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Sometimes,
two people who cannot live without each other are made to live without each
other. People are not bad, I would say, situations are.

Together
you could have been exactly what the other needs, but then life is a bitch at
times.

It is
hard to think about them ever being with someone else. Feelings are
consuming and intoxicating.

The fact
is: we are finding ourselves with big houses and broken homes, high incomes and
low morale, secured rights and diminished civility. We are excelling at making
a living but too often failing at making a life.

We celebrate
our prosperity but yearn for purpose. We cherish our freedoms but long for
connection. In an age of plenty, we feel spiritual hunger. The hunger of
belonging.

Communication, understanding to one another, the give and take is very
important to sustain a relationship. Incompatibility should never be a reason for relationships to fail, because all humans are different and hence incompatible. Communication is the bridge between them.We
forgive ourselves for so many mistakes, but fail to forgive that one person who
wrongs us once. We need more of communication, more forgiveness, more selfless
love!

Thursday, 17 December 2015

I have
observed that quite a lot of people do not take breakups in a way they should.
I mean no one wants to experience a break up, but once it happens, I see many
people crib or bitch about the other person. Whatever that person has done
(actions) or not done (inactions), whatever be the reason of separation, it is
painful - if you were REALLY involved in the relationship.

But
what I do not appreciate is when people roam about explaining others in person or hinting on social media sites - what wrong
the other person did, clarifying their own sides and explaining how right they
are. To me, it is a sign of an extremely weak person. I don't understand that if
it caused you so much disturbance or pain, why didn't you talk about it to the
person who caused it there and then? Why go about defaming anyone or showing
how clean your side is, once everything is over!? If you know you are so right,
why clarify? Don't you think the other person also has the option of doing what you're doing? But they don't choose to defame you or talk ill about you in public- ever wondered why? Because they truly love you. And btw, who in the world anyways wants to know your devdas kind of
stories? Half of them are happy you have sorrows and half are not interested -
they only oblige to hear you out of friendship.

When
people do such things, I wonder if there ever was love between the two of
them!? And if they do wrong to you, doesn't mean you have to give it back to
them. Hold on! Love is never about revenges. Khalil Gibran says, "Between
what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said - most of the love
is lost."

Ignorance
is a bliss at times. Flow with what life has in store for you, don't try
controlling every outcome!

There
are so many beautiful instances in every relationship! Why do people always
remember the bad things? You might have spent some good times too. When you
both have done 99 good things for each other, why do you remember the only one
thing he/she didn't do?

Not for
anyone else's sake, but for yourself, remember the good and let go of the bad.
So that you are free of negative energies. Karma will do the justice to
whoever was wrong. If you had given up then, GIVE IT UP TOTALLY even now, from
your wildest thoughts too - G.I.V.E I.T.
U.P.

There's
no point in going round and round about the same things again and again. You
hinder your personal growth. And it does not ever take one hand to clap. So
it's better that both sides reflect and think what their own flaws have been,
rather than playing blame games! Common, we ought to be mature enough to handle
such things!

I write
this Nano Fiction so that people start concentrating on the happy things in a
relationship than wrong ones. Enjoy and appreciate it while it lasts.
Concentrate on little things they do for you and the words that people tell
you. Treasure the words. Because
people may eventually change. Their good words don't change. They remain as they
are in the history.

Learn
to handle your loss. Be positive and be thankful to the wonderful times spent
together. Be mature enough to understand the fact that we don't have a forever
with certain people and their time does get over soon. Take them as a lesson or
a blessing or both and look ahead.

Whether
to choose to hook up again or stay single, life still offers a lot more than a
boyfriend or a girlfriend or a wife or a husband. Look for it!

Choose
to remember the good. Enjoy little moments. Stop chasing people who don't care
for you, or your apologies or your goodwill.

Leaving
the readers with a lot of positivity, happiness and here's the Nano Fiction -
all full of goodness and sweetness.