I am a 19 year old girl now. For the last ~5 years I have had a lot of sexual realtions. I was never raped or anything, I just...needed it. It made me feel desired and, frankly, was a lot of fun. My partners were mostly a lot older than me, which made it questionable, I guess.
I do not know why I behave like that. I is as if I live two seperate lifes. I grew up without my mother, who lives in the US (I am german), living with my dad. He does now know a thing about it. I do not know how to feel about it, because on the one hand I never felt bad while doing it, but on the other hand I know what anyone who found out would think about it - primarily my dad.
I never really spoke to anyone (but some of my partners) about it, so I want to tank you for "listening". It felt good writing it down.
Have a nice day!