This is every "bump" picture I took the entire pregnancy. With my first baby I documented every single week. Fourth baby...I have zero desire to document feeling fat for months on end. I always hoped I'd be a cute pregnant person who just looked like they stuffed a basketball under their shirt. That was not the case. I'm not just pregnant, I'm pregnant everywhere. I gain weight everywhere. My mom was the same way, so Chapel I'm sorry. They say a good predictor of how your pregnancies will go is how your mom's were. My pregnancies were very similar to my mom's.

The morning of Chapel's birth day, we had to be at the hospital at 5am. My parents got to our house the night before. I wanted my mom in the room with us, and my dad was on Pappy duty all day, taking the boys to school and picking them up.

We had a 30 minute drive to the hospital, so Joey and I listened to Chapel's song and talked to God and prayed for the day ahead. I was so anxious. I was dreading the C-section. The night before I had cried myself to sleep because I was so scared.

I feel like at this point I should add the disclaimer that this is not the birth story to read if you are about to have your first C-section. Its really never that bad, I'm just a crazy person.

At the hospital we got to my room and I changed into my gown and got hooked up to all the monitors and blood pressure machine. A nurse came in to do my IV, which is always one of my least favorite parts. I don't mind needles at all, getting my blood drawn doesn't bother me. But something about having the thing in my vein and in my arm just makes me weak. Long story short, it took them 3 different tries in 3 different spots, with 2 different nurses to get my IV in. I literally would have passed out had I not already been laying down. I think I may have passed out for a minute.

The person I really wanted to talk to was the anesthesiologist. When he came in I told him about my experience with Breaker and I wanted to avoid that. (Long story short, I was so anxious about his C-section I basically had a panic attack on the operating table and also vomited the entire surgery because of a reaction to the epidural. I also had a reaction that caused me to uncontrollably itch so I was going back and forth between scratching my face off and vomiting while laying flat on my back. Then the epidural went all the way up into my arms and I couldn't move them at all.) My biggest fear is the epidural, I hate feeling it go in and having to be still and I'm terrified its going to work too well and I'll be paralyzed or something. My doctor had told me they could essentially put me to sleep right before they put the epidural in and I was good with that. When Breaker was born I had been insistent that I be aware of everything happening and I wanted to have a memory of it. This time, I didn't care. I wanted all the drugs they could give me. I wanted to be loopy...anything to help me not be an anxious mess.
Joey and my mom had to wait until I was prepped for surgery, so I went back into the operating room by myself. I tried to walk and was so shaky that they had to put me in a wheelchair.
I sat up on the table and they had a nurse stand in front of me, and I leaned into her and she held me up so they could put the epidural in. Right before he was about to start he put something in my IV that put me right to sleep. It was seriously so fast.
The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and saw Joey sitting next to me. I thought they were about to start the C-section and instead he told me that Chapel was already here! Y'all, I was so happy. I was asleep for the whole scary part, when they're waiting for the epidural to kick in and saying "can you feel this?" and where you can feel them tugging to get the baby out. I opened my eyes and the hard part was over.

*Ideally, I wish I had been awake to see her come out. They had even gotten me the clear drape I requested. But I just realized from experience that my body always has a reaction to the epidural that makes it awful for me and the anxiety of that was making me unable to enjoy anything anyway.

I really don't have any strong memories of the rest of the day. I was very drugged. Reading this, its literally the exact opposite of what I want out of a birth. But I will say, I have given birth practically every way possible and I have learned something from each one, including this one. I'll share those revelations later. But I want to encourage any first time moms to really do your research, decide what you want your birth to look like, advocate for yourself, and avoid a C-section, especially if you want multiple kids, because it gets harder every time! I think some people view a C-section as the easy way out, and it is not. It is so hard. Your body is made to birth, a C-section is a major surgery, that on top of recovering from, you're now in charge of a baby.
My recovery this time was a lot harder than its ever been. I had so many random little issues afterwards. I kept going back into Dr. Greene terrified I had some life threatening complication. My stomach is still numb from my belly button down. Its the weirdest/most annoying feeling.

Since I honestly don't remember much else from the day, here are more pictures from Chapel's birth day!

Shepherd and Breaker have always had a special little bond. When Breaker was born, Shepherd always called him "his baby." That bond has never gone away and Shepherd always is so protective and loving with him. Shep is not super affectionate with anyone else, but he always hugs and kisses Breaker. At bedtime he loves for Breaker to snuggle with him and he reads him books. We always put notes in Shepherd's lunch box and his favorites are when his notes are "from" Breaker.

I tried to get some one on one time with each of my babies before Chapel was born. One morning my midwife had to reschedule my appointment and with Shep in school and Jen already planning on babysitting Breaker, Major and I went to breakfast at First Watch. I love hanging out with this funny boy! And how grown up does he look waiting in line to pay our bill?

Three year old Major has been one of the biggest joys of my life. He is the sweetest child I have ever met. He gives love and compliments so freely. He's easy going and polite and appreciative. He is fun and fearless. I've never met anyone like him. I thought he was going to be my wild child, but as this year has progressed he has become so tender hearted. My greatest prayer for him is to have confidence, to figure out who he is and go full force being that person. He is so special!!

Major wanted a superhero party for his birthday. We ate cake and opened presents and had the most disturbing decapitated pinata. I love celebrating this sunshine boy!

On Major's actual birthday, it happened to be his first day of "school." He started going to a local gym, just one day a week for 2.5 hours. The first half of their time they do school work type stuff, and the second half they learn gymnastics in the gym.

That night we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner, and Major loved being sung Happy Birthday by the waiters. I hope he always enjoys life that much ;)

After dinner we went home for cake and we all sat down to watch the "Major Movie" I put together. I just used iMovie on my phone to put together pictures and videos of Major over the past year. Look at his face! Joey and I were near tears watching him...he felt so special and loved watching a "movie" all about him, and his brothers were laughing and loving it too. So sweet.