Losing One's Identity

Monday, September 10, 2007

After the whole fiasco of having my MySpace accounts deleted, I decided to buck up and simply start over (which I haven't fully). I lost six groups that I actively moderated..and they were GREAT groups too. I started up again the one that meant the most to me and we've gone from there.

Problem is.. I feel very disconnected from my fellow MySpace friends since it happened. I almost feel as if I'm not the same identity anymore, having used that account my daughter's entire life thus far. And it's funny..because it's really just a web page with a few graphics, words and pictures on it, yet it's simply not the same. I feel like a lost a huge part of my online identity - something that's important to me since I really don't get out much.

Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I weren't apart of a large community of parents and military wives...most of which know what happened and why. It sort of feels like everyone is staring at me, whispering to one another "Oooo..ya know that Kimi girl got her MySpace deleted..such a shame". Unfortunately, I'm probably right. I can just imagine how many of the women have emailed one another to chit chat about it.

If I really wanted to, I could work my way towards what I had. But is it worth it? Am I just working towards an empty goal? MySpace reserves the right to delete whoever they want, whenever they want....and without notice. That's how I lost my daughter's entire life in writing. Losing every blog I'd ever written about her and the comments on every picture I've ever posted of her, really stung. A lot of time, work, love and dedication went into that...and it's all gone.