Weaknesses: Murray Mints, hairspray, kittens, BBQ sauce, a good beat, the sound of people being eaten by zombies as the organs and cartilage are ripped and crunched…

Shitlist: animal exploitation, capitalism, bigotry, leftist sectarianism, bland music (Coldplay), yuppie flats, NHS cuts + privatisation, running out of gum, “New Labour”, bad hair days, xerostomia*, those M&S billboards which are just a close-up of a bloke in his pants, not-cooked-all-the-way rice, back pain (which I suffer with every day).