Can You Equip the Broken Family?

Proverbs 13:12 (NIV) tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Many of us work with broken families with so little “hope” they are the portrait of a dying heart. Survival and entitlement have become a generational legacy. Honestly, it is easier to criticize these families than to partner with them.

Last week we had two missions teams of youth serving in our ministry. During morning devos one day I asked students to close their eyes and raise hands if they agreed with any of a series of questions. These students were primarily from upper and middle class suburban families. From this little exercise I learned many students felt disappointed or even hurt by their parents. One of the youth actually told their youth pastor their “life story” as a result of the trip. No one knew this precious student was living in poverty, with parents who at best neglected them.

Even in this situation I learned parents have a greater spiritual influence in the life of their children than anyone else. Our attitude can be dismissive to “certain” families. Instead, we must take an attitude of equipping EVERY family to grow closer to the Lord.

How? Teach struggling families using five senses of Jesus:

See:

Someone asked me last week how I live in the inner city, with the families there without losing hope. It would be easy to believe the break is just too deep. How do I persevere? Have the visionary eye of Christ. See each person as Christ is molding them into his image. Show the parent Jesus and then encourage them in ways they can show Christ to their children.

Hear:

Ask families what they need, or are looking for to equip their children for the future. Listen to the frustrations and inadequacies they are feeling. Hold a brainstorming session that allows parents to tell you how to help them help their family. Find ways to let parents know you are there for them, and are not trying to replace them.

Touch:

After a brainstorming pick one or two practical needs you as a body can meet, and start there. When a family has a tangible need met, they feel the love of Christ. What can you do to sit and get to know them, tell them reasons why you love being a part of the life of their child.

Time:

Take time to get to know individual families to learn how to walk with them in their journey with the Lord and their children. Set up a system of people who build relationships with parents. Teach parents quick and easy ways they can connect with their kids in 5 minutes or less.

Love:

Those existing for tomorrow forget tenderness. Encourage parents in ways that they can tell their children how they love them. Find simple ways to show parents you love them as well as their children.

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Leneita Fix

Leneita Fix is the Director of Ministry Development for Aslan Youth Ministries, a family focused urban ministry serving Monmouth County New Jersey and Haiti. She has been working in some form of youth and family ministry for almost 22 years. In addition she has launched the coaching and resource organization, Front Line Urban Resources with Jeffrey Wallace serving those who work with families living in survival mode. The early years were spent in camp ministry, suburban and rural youth groups. With the Lord’s moving the last 17 of those years have been spent ministering in three different urban areas to primarily unchurched families (New Jersey, Virginia, Florida back to New Jersey).
Her responsibilities have included Bible based program direction for children ages 5-18, curriculum writing, staff training and recruiting, discipleship, resource creation and speaking to national audiences. Her passion is to raise up workers in practical, relationship-driven methods while remaining in the trenches with the youth and families she loves. Her goal is to help others understand every student living in a survival mindset can and will be transformed in Christ. One of her greatest joys is serving in ministry as a family with her husband three wonderful children, and her niece. Simply she resides among her friends in the city just living life as a family that loves being there. You can contact her at leneitafix@aslanyouth.org.

4 responses to Can You Equip the Broken Family?

Chris,
Are you asking which organizations practice them, or where can you find books and universities telling you what the best practices for urban YM? The definition of urban is so broad, that in many ways “best practices” are true city to city, or ministry to ministry. I believe that there are some core “best practices” as far as approach and sustainability. I would say that the people to look at who have had a great (as do their ministries) approach are John Perkins, “Coach” Wayne Gordon, Phil Jackson, Robert Lupton, and Jeremy Del Rio. As far as teaching institutions Fuller of course has an urban youth min certification, as does Palm Beach Atlantic in FL. Terryl Byrd the director of the PBA certification program is someone to listen to. North Park Univeristy, and although their degree is in Youth Min, Daniel White Hodge, the director,as you know has a multicultural approach. Eastern University also has a great approach to teaching urban youth min. Let me know if I am answering your question- or if you are looking for a book?

Thank you so much for this article. I woke with broken families and broken people. My concentration is on children of divorce. Many times though, I can pick out the broken families headed toward divorce. Breaks my heart. I have worked with many different situations over the past 40 years and the situations are getting worse and more common.

Thanks so much for your encouragement in working with broken families. It is heartbreaking that the broken family rate is so high. It hurts my heart that more and more families are starting out broken- with children growing up without two parents in the home in the first place.

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Authors

Jeff Wallace

In the trenches of local youth ministry for over a decade, Pastor Jeffrey Wallace
(a.k.a. PJ) brings a fresh and relevant approach to how to develop and maintain an
effective, healthy, relevant...Read More

Leneita Fix

Leneita Fix is the Director of Ministry Development for Aslan Youth Ministries, a family focused urban ministry serving Monmouth County New Jersey and Haiti. She has been working in some form of...Read More