I'm glad you are putting more detail on the landscaping! I will have to concur with Freeling- try asking a family member to read the story before you post it and give you suggestions on the writing and punctuation.

Quoting Freeling .
The text isn't quite satisfying. "I did this, then I did this." Is the type of text you're writing. If you would want to be a better story teller, you should give more detail, such as, "First, I walked over to the drawer and pulled out a pen and paper to write to my friend, then after I was done, I gave it to the mailman, who was just passing by my house." Hopefully you understand. I would suggest looking at some good story-MOCS around MOCpages.

are you talking about the character groudy? if you are? he talks like that

The text isn't quite satisfying. "I did this, then I did this." Is the type of text you're writing. If you would want to be a better story teller, you should give more detail, such as, "First, I walked over to the drawer and pulled out a pen and paper to write to my friend, then after I was done, I gave it to the mailman, who was just passing by my house." Hopefully you understand. I would suggest looking at some good story-MOCS around MOCpages.