There is always more to learn about a database in this tutorial we will delve down into

1) Query structure2) How to normalise tables3) How does an index work4) How an index ACTUALLY works5) Execution plans, and caching (why repeating the same thing over and over again is not a sign of madness but a mistrust of a world built on shifting sands)6) How Azethoth is at the heart of any SQL installation, and his role in making it work

Me: "...And so we can do it in house for $6580, or we can outsource it for $15000."

Vinnie: "How is this even a question?"

Me: "Well, that would depend on whose money we're spending."

Vinnie: "You're more crooked than me."

Me: "Well, yes, You are young and do not have the deep-seated degeneracy that I have acquired through years of experience. Anyway, the approach here is, you set it up as a capital project, say $15K, everyone freaks, you say you know a guy who knows a guy. Then you say you can do it for maybe $10K, but you're going to need additional funds. Half way through the project, you say your guys had a brilliant idea, it's going to cost $6580, and you're going to be under budget."

Vinnie: "How do we benefit from that?"

Me: "Because nobody asks for the $3420 back, and we stick it on the GL account for tools with what's left on there, and we go buy that sick ass new bore scope the HVAC guys have been drooling over for $5000."

Vinnie: "Okay, but..."

Me: "I'm not done yet."

Billy: "You're gonna love this dude, he's getting religious."

Me: "Then, because the tool costs $5000, at the end of the quarter, we back it into capitol, then we put the $5000 on the *equipment* line item with what's left on *that*, and we go buy an HVAC unit for the shop, which we need. And THAT..."

Vinnie: "THAT costs $5000, so we back IT into capital..."

Me: "You see where this is going?"

Vinnie: "Jail?"

Me: "NOPE. Totally legal. I checked with the accounting guy AND the lawyer."

Billy: "I smell malice."

Me: "Your instincts are good. I mean, all of this money has to come from *somewhere*..."

Vinnie: "I was just gonna ask about that."

Me: "We get first crack at capitol, so I'm going to steal <other division>'s money."

Vinnie: "Won't they mind."

Me: "Dude. That's why we're doing this. We don't even NEED a bore scope, you can rent one for $40/day. What we NEED is to pick <other division>'s pockets while they stand there and WATCH US."