Game of Thrones Season Two, Episode Six Recap

This week saw a riot, a brutal beheading, a boy king slapped by his uncle, and dreams of the worst kind (nightmares?) come true. We did have some nudity—thanks, Osha! We were starting to get confused—but not nearly enough Tyrion or Bronn or witty quips, although we did see a softer side of Lord Tywin Lannister. On to this week’s power ranking!

1. LannistersThey lead truly only by default, because someone has to be on top—and since they still hold the Iron Throne, I suppose it has to be them. But if we are honestly assessing their strength right now, things aren’t looking good. The people of Kings Landing are starving, rioting, raping each other, and calling Joffrey a bastard. Cersei is beside herself with frustration at losing control of, well, everything to Tyrion, so she spends most of her time making well-articulated and elaborate threats toward him. Sansa almost gets raped (Clegane, perhaps there’s more to you than we know!). And on the battlefield, it would seem from Tywin’s frustration that the Lannisters are still losing to the Starks.

2. GreyjoysTheon has taken Winterfell, which he hopes will give him some power over the Starks, and also some positive reinforcement from his father. Even though Theon is working with a skeleton crew and wouldn’t be able to hold Winterfell against an army, for the time being he assumes this might impress his father—and also gets everyone to call him Prince (when they don’t, he chops off their heads in a botched and bloody execution).

3. StarksRobb is winning, and also has the hots for the lady doctor who is traveling with his camp, but as he learns partway through the episode, he’s lost his home castle to Theon Greyjoy. Partly because of his brothers’ safety and partly because of that whole thing about being King in the North and then losing your home base, this seems slightly problematic.

4. Stannis BaratheonWe didn’t see any of Stannis this week, but based on his power moves last week, we can only assume he’s gathering his ships and consolidating his new banner men, preparing for his attack on King’s Landing.

5. Targaryen

Daenerys. GIRL. I just . . . I really don’t know what to say. Losing your dragons?! Come on! Maybe less time spent giving overly dramatic speeches to fat men with ships and more time spent paying attention to one’s dragons would pay off. Since, you know, there’s that thing how they’re the only real power or valuable possession you have. And now they’re gone.

Also Making Headlines in Westeros:Wildlings can also be girls, apparently, as Jon Snow discovers, and they can be quite pretty. Bran and Rickon make a late-night escape from Winterfell with Osha’s and Hodor’s help, which we can only assume will make Theon a teensy bit cranky and insecure about his princely-ness, and Arya has named her second victim.