Friday, August 27, 2010

I've really been frustrated since getting out of the hospital. My knee is doing great. I'm able to walk, sit, stand, move--all without pain. The one thing I can't do is sleep.

I took a sleeping pill tonight, but still not luck. It's after midnight and I'm awake. The little bit of sleep I get is fitful which leaves my groggy and without energy during the day.

I'm reading a great book that's really speaking to me. It was written my a relative, Diane Moody, and is titled "Confessions of a Prayer Slacker." I love the way she writes--some humor but lots of good advice. I remember when my entire life was spent reading the Word and spending time with Jesus. I didn't read novels or watch TV. I had no interest. All I wanted to do was be with Him. But I let life get in the way and to be honest, my first love waned.

I remember how He spoke to me. So close. So sweet. I want that again and Diane's book is drawing me back into His presence again. What's stopping me? Sleep. I get up in the morning with little on my mind besides eating and doing what I have to do. I don't want to read or pray or anything
else. My mind is mush.

I don't know when this will end and I will be able to sleep again. I'm changing my diet in hopes of helping sleep to come. That's pretty easy since I'm about half sick at my stomach most of the time and don't feel like eating but needing to.

The first thing Diane says she does is thank God instead of beginning with the gimmies. So that's how I will begin. Thank you, Lord, for bringing me through this surgery and for healing me so quickly. Thank you for Reid who took care of me without compaining ever. He was there for me every step of the way and still is. The biggest thank you goes to You, Lord. I know you know where I am and what I need and you are in the process of working all this out for me.

There. Is there anything else to say about me? No. I'll just go into prayer for others. Maybe when I get through that I can thank Him more for all I have. Maybe this prayer won't have any gimmies. Maybe this is just one more instance where I rest and trust Him.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I've been thinking about blogging again for some time. The last time I did was before surgery. Much has happened since then, but the main thing that has happened has been in me.

Having surgery is a big deal. You are totally without any power and are at the mercy of many people you've never seen before and will never see again. You can pray that both the surgeon who will be wielding the knife and the anethesiologist had a good night's sleep.

The night before the surgery I had a song inside of me. Every time I woke up the song began to play. "Saviour, He can move the mountains. He is mighty to save, mighty to save. Forever, author of salvation. Mighty to save. Mighty to save." I bathed in this song all night long. On the way to the hospital the next morning I mentioned this to Husband. He said he'd heard that song all night, too. That gave me a certain sense of peace.

In pre-op Doctor Son and Grandson showed up. So did Friend Couple. Several friends were outside in the waiting room. These four people were in the room when the anethesiologist came in to begin administering the drugs that would help me forget. I was told that very soon after he did that I started singing "Mighty to Save." They all sang with me. I wish I could remember that.

I was supposed to go home on the third day after surgery but couldn't. Too many drugs took away my ability to sit up without throwing up. I remember lying in that bed and listening as Husband was told they were planning to send me to a nursing home for rehab. I thought, "I can't fight, Lord. It's all up to you."

Hubby fought and I went to a real rehab hospital. That was God Instance #1.

They planned to send me sitting up in a wheelchair but I couldn't sit up. God Instance #2: I went by ambulance.

Both of these were not supposed to be covered by insurance. So far we haven't received bills.

God Instance #3: Rehab got me on my feet, strengthened me and made me able to take care of myself. I came home after 13 days.

I see how much God had it worked out ahead of time. Nothing I did or could do would make anything happen. I had to rest in Him.

Jesus has walked this way before us. He knows the way. I realized how little control I have over my life and how little I want. Since He's been here before, I want to do one thing. Follow Him.

I hope I remember to rest in Him and don't try to take hold of the reins again.

"Behold, I will pour out My Spirit on you.

About Me

Retired teacher and health care professional living in the desert southwest I write novels, short stories and memoirs, attend church, belong to writing groups, and a book club. I have a husband, 2 daughters, 4 step-sons, 13 grandchildren and one great-granddaughter.