Sunday, May 31, 2009

yesterday we grabbed a late lunch from our favourite Japanese grocery store. there was a sun shower so our plan for a Pocky picnic outside was foiled. we parked the car beside a park and thought we'd have a car picnic instead. a calm green spot to enjoy from within. or so we thought. the minute we unwrapped and dived into our feast this character appeared. he was shouting in Russian into his cellphone, pacing and gesturing. a heated argument between Russian lovers? perhaps, we would need an interpreter. abruptly, the call ended and he returned to a group of friends further in the park. then she must have wanted the last word because the whole scene unfolded a second time. it was a bit surreal, like a bit of theatre. a play.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

my right ear has been aching, probably sinus congestion. the tail end of this terrible cold/flu we have been fighting off since mother's day. it is not plugged like the other time. revenge of the seemingly sweet but honestly, lately stresser, stalker mom. the lesson for me has been standing up for myself emotionally, a metaphor. monday i had a spectacular fall. timber! not good, banged my head on the floor. just have to keep trying and focus, think thru each move and don't panic. hard as it is, picking yourself up and trying to move forward is a good thing.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

one of my favourite rituals at the moment is soaking up the afternoon sun with dN in the backyard. i usually do physio, rest. or make some cards. he tends to taming the overgrown garden or tinkers with his bike. the next door neighbour might be a jazz singer, it is sublime hearing soulful bits floating out the window. always feels like a gift. we also play the imaginative what if games. like what if you were a fabulous chef but had to eat kraft dinner for every meal to keep your talent. the minute you didn't, you would lose it all. would you do it? today's line of inquiry centered around discovering a dead version of yourself from the future. what would you do? what if there was a newspaper with future winning lottery numbers, would you play them?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

i am going on a trash mag diet. enough octo mom and jon and kate non-sense. junk food for the mind. going to focus on healthier fare. soul satisfying. less tv, mind less distractions. more affirmations and taking out the trash. the peaceful warrior inspired me.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Saturday, May 09, 2009

the heavens are rumbling. loud claps of thunder, reports of hail, heavy rain symbolic perhaps. last night after midnight the power went out. i had insomnia so the light was missed and the opportunity to distract myself to sleep with a movie was not possible. i can relate to this weather, personally. it will lead to greener days, just got to weather the storm.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

it is like the rock climber says FEAR SUCKS. i have noticed i have been panicking lately, and when i do, i lose focus and then fail. then i get the weepies. for shame. not proud of this but admission may help me conquer it. focus. calm. you can do it. nurture the fighter in you.