Share this or get the clap:

This is the week I turn 50, in the year I also turn 50. But before we go any further, I give you this….

This was me, and this was all of us, and still can be.. Today I ran on the beach with my dog, and this was still me…. In 3 days I will turn 50, significant only in the fact that is how we have decided to measure time, and it is a round number.

At 10, all I cared about was riding bikes and consuming large quantities of sugar and caffeine. At 20 I was in the middle of the lost fraternity years, celebrating my last year of drinking illegally. At 30 I was at the tail end of my marathon craze, running more miles in a week than most human’s life expectancies. 40 marked the first time I was surprised and ridiculed by a group of family and friends in celebrity roast fashion, minus the drug addictions and arrests that go with it.

So 50 looks like the middle ground, except it is not. Life expectancy for men now runs around 75 so if I have my math correct (and you know I do), I am two-thirds toast. 50 years from now it is doubtful that I will grace this planet in this physical form. I am hopeful to come back as a couch. Everyone can depend on you for sitting and I should get to watch most Super Bowls, if that is still going on.

I guess most people take stock of what they have done with their lives at age 50. To me looking at this is a relative thing. Let me give you 2 examples. Some guy sitting in a jail cell for molesting a giraffe on his 50th birthday can be quite appreciative of the quiet and all the free time that gives him to paint murals of clowns in heat. And the highest executive with all the money in the world can be miserable on his 50th birthday when his stock plummets 50 million leaving him with only 500 million.

It all comes down to perspective. I have a beautiful wife that I love more than ice cream that still laughs at most of the things I say, and knows when to “look away” when it is not funny. (which is never) She reminds me every day to take a look at that little boy and never let him get away. I have two kids that will carry my wit and wisdom well after I have turned into a piece of upholstery. If I have given them anything, I hope it is a sense of humor and wonder at what this planet can give you. The 3 of you, Angel, Rachele, and Anna, have made my life the best story I can ever write.

I will sit with that on my 50th birthday, and sit with it proud. And holy shit, I think I am sitting on my great grandpappy Leonard ! Looks like I come from a long line of couches…. Some families are made of royalty, others captains of industry. Mine appears to be furniture. Well I got that going for me, so on March 28, 2014 sit on your couch and think of me… And then take another look at that picture above because that is still me, as I refuse to grow old, and so should you….