I had surgery yesterday to create a fistula at my wrist. This is an access point for dialysis. They basically joined up one my veins and arteries and created a loop under the skin so that they can clean my blood of toxins. I was emotional going there. I asked my sister if we could just go for a drive instead but she carried on to the hospital haha. They took me early, which was great. It meant I didn’t have to sit for hours contemplating how life was about to change again. I had the sweetest team there. Dr. Sally Bird was the anesthesiologist and she was an absolute doll. She made sure I understood my choices, that I was comfortable with everything and expressed a lot of compassion and empathy. When she found out I was a yoga teacher and had taught the day before she decided I would beat the odds and get back to teaching. Before they put the nerve block in my arm she even made sure I understood why his was happening. My sister had expressed concerns I had about how much this one small procedure would change my life. It’s not life-changing for most people because most kidney patients don’t spend time balancing in their hands! They aren’t really used to otherwise healthy people in this particular area of medicine. Dr. Bird had told the whole team that I was a yoga teacher so they were all talking about that and joking with me. The two Dr. Wong’s (no relation) were lovely as was the third doctor whose name I don’t recall. The nurses, doctors, staff- everyone I encountered were phenomenal at keeping me upbeat and okay with things.

My three sisters were there when I came out of surgery. I was surrounded by love. They all understand all the implications of this. They understand the emotions I’m feeling. The feeling of loss. And they all understand how difficult this has been without my mom. It’s been a tough 6 months. Luckily I’m a tough girl.

Before leaving, the nurse went over all of the instructions about what too look for and how to care for the fistula. One thing I need to check several times a day is that I have a bruit, or thrill, in my arm. Now that the vein and artery are joined together there’s a particularly strong flow of blood that will get stronger over time. It feels like a bit of a buzz underrated the skin. One of my sisters felt it and said it felt like little bees under there. We all had a feel of that, marvelling at bodies and the things they can do. And then with instructions to my partner to be my butler, my sisters were gone. I didn’t sleep a whole lot last night as it was difficult to get comfortable. But al in all everything is going well and I’m already thinking about how I can accommodate doing yoga without sun salutes. I’ll figure it out! Of course, I do know that real yoga happens in our hearts and souls. And that is still intact❤️