In lieu of me having to get a second go at eye surgery tomorrow morning, I'm gonna try to bang out a quick little story for you guys.

Anesthesia Awareness

Anesthesia awareness or "unintended intra-operative awareness" occurs during general anesthesia, on the operating table, when the general anesthetic or analgesic provided to render the patient unconscious during general anesthesia is not effective but the agents used to paralyze the patient are. This means that the patient is unable to move or speak, but is wide awake, hearing and feeling the entire procedure. (Thank you, Wikipedia)

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"What a royal pain in the ass. They botched it. After all my hype, the fucking botched it..."

I was staring in the mirror at myself, but moreover, my reddened and irritated eye that had been operated on 2 months prior. All my life, I have had a weak muscle in my right eye. It has ruined personal encounters, pictures and occasionally self-confidence. Finally, I decided to do something about it. I found an eye specialist who endowed hope into me, that after a minor surgery, I too, would have beautiful straight eyes.

But they kinda fucked up. The first time through, they over-compensated the angling for my eye. My eye had been crooked to the inside, but now it is slightly on the outside. And to make matters worse, their stitching was failing, and my eye is lagging further and further outside.

When I told my surgeon that I was experiencing double vision because of the incompetent angle correction, she immediately scheduled a follow up surgery to remedy the issue. Sucks, but I guess it could be worse.

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The doctors throw the johnny and hospital socks to me, and tell me to undress and lay down in this ridiculous attire. I was getting tired of this procedure, having done it once before. They wheeled me away on my hospital bed, and peppered me with questions confirming my identity and my surgery. I met with my anesthesiologist as well. He seemed somewhat nervous. I didn't think anything of it, but I should have.

I was strapped into the bed. I felt very warm and comfortable, covered with the warm hospital blankets and pacified by the pre-anesthesia shot that had been given to me. I knew from experience that the recovery would blow, but at least I would have my straight eyes.

The anesthesia was applied, and I was out like a light. The dreams were phantasmagoric and whimsical. I was in a state of euphoria. The thing I liked about anesthesia was that it is like a time lapse. The second you receive it, it is as if the surgery is already over.

And apparently it was. I could hear the voices of the doctors around me. Thank god. I vouched to open my eyes, but I quickly found that I could not. Probably just because of the blood and gunk from the surgery. I tried to move my hands to appease the urge of at least moving. But I could not. I got frustrated, and frightened. "Why can't I move?" I thought to myself, because I sure as hell couldn't say it aloud. Breathing was difficult. My lungs felt paralyzed, and I seemed to be choking, yet not suffocating.

"Open his eyes" I overheard a doctor say. I felt rubbery hands peel my eyelids open. I could see blurry figments of a lit room and doctors sporting their operating attire surrounding me. I couldn't scan with my eyes. Once again, I tried to speak, but could not. "I'm awake" I thought.

"Okay, clamp them so we can get going." I heard. I watched in despair as the doctors applied special apparatuses about my eyes to keep them open. I tried to ward off the assault, but couldn't. I wanted to cry. I could FEEL the cold steel gripping my eyes open. Even if I wanted to shut them, I couldn't.

Every time a doctor accidentally or purposely touched my eye to align or adjust it, I felt the pain of being poked in the eye. But I couldn't yelp or flinch. I had to endure it. "I'm awake", I thought.

"First we need to remove the faulty stitching", I heard. A female doctor leaned in with a needle nose type tool and removed each stitch, one at a time. Each one hurt like bloody hell. I began seeing blood surface over my eye, and the doctors would occasionally wash it away.

"Hand me the scalpel", I heard. "I'M AWAKE!" I thought. They cut into my muscle on the outside of my eye. Pain reverberated through my body. I couldn't move or scream. The pain was intense and blood painted my vision. "I'M AWAKE, I'M AWAKE, IM AW..." I passed out from the shock and pain of the experience.

This happened to my dad when he was like 16. His sisters boyfriend punched him, and he fell and hit his jaw on the coffee table, breaking it. During the surgery to align the bone and wire the jaw shut, he could feel everything they were doing, but couldn't move. They had to extract a tooth, and after pulling it out he blacked out from the pain.

Pretty scary shit, it's really common apparently... but don't think about that tomorrow

__________________It's okay, Lt. Shinysides. You don't have to eat it now, you're just sleeping, you can eat it later. You can eat it later Lt. Shinysides!

my face just turned into a black abyss of nothing as did a friend of mine's. have our souls been signed over to satan? or are my eyes just bad?

I tried it while making the angriest, most sinister face I could (without bursting a vessel.) The face in the mirror twisted something awful. It got really uncomfortable, but I pressed on. Even let out a proper war cry when I was ready to be finished. The chills, just wow. My friends now think I'm on drugs again though.

I'm really considering getting high and trying the mirror thing, and then comparing my results with a few friends I have over. Will post back if I do it.

EDIT:

Weed definitely makes it a lot... stranger to say the least. All the face morphing still happened, but I came out looking like my dad. As you'd assume with weed, all the hostility feeling was gone, it's just really cool now

Verdicts:

Completely sober - very unsettling, the reflections does not look or feel like "you". Feels threatening.

High - Does not look like "you", but it's all cool. Far more interesting.

__________________It's okay, Lt. Shinysides. You don't have to eat it now, you're just sleeping, you can eat it later. You can eat it later Lt. Shinysides!

Just tried the mirrior too. 3am, went in pitch black bathroom and set a candle up so most the light was blocked against the wall. My face became really deformed but the weirdest part is that it always looked like the reflection was staring back at me with wide open eyes, like to the point that a human can't stretch them open that much.

I want to get a couple people in there with me next time... I wonder what would happen.

Glad there's one of these that's actually easy to test as opposed to needing to build a freaking mirror trap.