Speeding Dad Tells Cops He Was in a Hurry to Poo

A man in Australia who was recently pulled over for speeding told police he was going so fast because he had to get home and use the bathroom.

Actually, that's the G-rated version of what he said. It's a little more NSFW than that.

Do you see it there? Under "deft's explanation?" It says, "I needed to s***, kids have given me gastro." Wow, children really can be a pain in the gas, can't they?

The man must've really had to drop a deuce because he was going 23 miles over the speed limit, presumably racing home to his throne before the contents of his stomach wound up in...well, let's just not go there, okay? No one needs that visual.

The cops didn't have too much sympathy and fined the man $960, while also revoking his license. He also got double demerits because the incident took place during the queen's birthday celebration weekend.

He's out nearly a thousand bucks and he can no longer drive -- if he thinks his kids made him sick before, just wait.