The Hidden Cost of Too Much Comfort & Security (And What to Pursue Instead)

In 1931 an Englishman named Aldous Huxley wrote a novel called Brave New Worldabout a future society that apparently had it made. Through advanced technology and meticulous government systems, everyone in this society had comfort, security, and entertainment in endless supply.

But in the end, this “perfect” society turns out to be a nightmare. Too much comfort, security, and entertainment become a curse.

The individuals in this society gain near perfection in one area, but they lose the richness of being essentially human. They no longer struggle, suffer, love deeply, aspire grandly, or grow to be their best.

I don’t think you and I are living in Huxley’s dystopian world (yet!). But I’ve noticed security and comfort tend to dominate financial goals, especially for those of us pursuing financial independence.

We constantly strive to build more wealth, buy more insurance, and continue working for more money (“just one more year”). And a core motivation for all of this is to sleep more securely and more comfortably at night.

Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with these goals. But reflecting on the ideas in Brave New World made me wonder:

What is the cost of prioritizing comfort and security too much?

Is there a better approach?

My answers to those questions are what I’ll explore in the rest of this article.

Is it an either-or choice between our security or our soul’s calling? Are we doomed to compromise our lives either way?

Perhaps there is a middle path.

Revisiting the Place Called Enough

One of my favorite personal finance books is Your Money or Your Lifeby Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez. A core idea of the book is finding the place in your life where you have enough.

Early on, more money spent brings you more fulfillment. But after you pass the peak of enough, more money spent brings less fulfillment. On this slippery downward slope, your life becomes heavy, cluttered, and complex.

The authors describe the concept of enough with something called the Fulfillment Curve:

I think comfort and security work in a similar way. Early on, each additional unit of comfort and security produces amazing returns of fulfillment.

But there is a law of diminishing returns. The more you pursue comfort and security, the less fulfilled you become.

It looks like this:

Everyone’s curve will look different. Some people need very little security, and others need a lot.

But the common theme is the downslope of the curve. This downward slide is when you begin sacrificing your self-actualization and growth for that extra bit of security and comfort.

And you know you’re on the downslope when you’re comfortable yet feel emptiness or desperation underneath. Henry David Thoreau described it like this in Walden:

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation …
A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind.

And like anything important, you’re the only one who can know where on the slope you are. You must pay attention and reflect on your life so that you can make decisions that serve you best.

In my own admittedly imperfect life reflections, I have found some practical tools to help me with my own struggle between comfort, security, and self-actualization.

Practical Tools to Balance Comfort, Security, & Growth

To help you (and me!) as we seek to balance comfort, security, and personal growth, here are a few practical tools I’ve picked up along the way.

Try Voluntary Discomfort

Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: “Is this the condition that I feared?

Let the pallet be a real one, and the coarse cloak; let the bread be hard and grimy. Endure all this for three or four days at a time, sometimes for more, so that it may be a test of yourself instead of a mere hobby. Then, I assure you, my dear Lucilius, you will leap for joy when filled with a pennyworth of food, and you will understand that a man’s peace of mind does not depend upon Fortune; for, even when angry she grants enough for our needs.”

Sometimes we feel more comfortable and secure just be realizing that we already have enough!

Roman stoic philosophers and wise people from across time remind us that comfort and security do not have a fixed level. Many people are comfortable and secure with much less than you have.

The only way we can test our own limits, however, is by voluntary putting ourselves in situations of simplicity and even discomfort.

For me, camping and the outdoors have always reminded me of this principle.

I walk into the woods with just a backpack full of essentials. I walk out of the woods realizing how little I need to be happy.

It’s amazingly refreshing.

I may not always choose to live my life-like I’m backpacking. But my awareness and memories of the experience keep things and comforts in their proper perspective. I’m less likely to sacrifice the other things that matter more.

Seek Financial Plateaus as You Climb Towards the Peak

I often compare seeking financial independence to a climb up a huge mountain. They are similar because in either case, you won’t safely reach the peak in a rush. The journey is too long and perilous for a sprint up.

Plateaus allow you time to rest, recover, and live your life. And you can fill these spaces (whether it’s months or years) with the pursuit of opportunities that call your soul, even if that means staying in place on your climb towards financial independence.

One of my favorite plateaus is something called a Mini-Retirement.

Take Mini-Retirements

A mini-retirement is a pause from your normal life, often months or years at a time, to pursue something different. There are no rules for what you do. It could be time for travel, your family, intense study, or just a period of doing nothing!

The important part is listening to and nourishing the part of yourself that gets neglected during the periods of work and financial growth.

In 2009, my wife and I took our first big mini-retirement with a 4-month trip to Spain and then Peru, Chile, and Argentina in South America. It was a life-changing experience.

Build Entrepreneurial Skills & Mindset

Some people hear about the plateaus above like mini-retirements and get filled with fear. It might be hard to imagine ejecting yourself early from the security of a job and a career path in order to pursue other life callings.

But in my experience, a strong entrepreneurial mindset and a diverse set of entrepreneurial skills give you a safety net beyond just saving and compounding money in the bank. This entrepreneurial safety net makes the uncertainty of the future more palatable.

For example, during my 15 years as a real estate entrepreneur, I’ve been forced to learn and get better at a variety of related fields and skill sets such as:

Bookkeeping & accounting

Real estate title and paralegal work

Property management

Real estate agency

Banking and finance

Construction and remodeling

City planning & zoning

Debt collections

Private lending

Marketing

Sales

Websites & social media

Teaching

Blogging

If you make a life-long commitment to being a student of your entrepreneurial craft, you can build a variety of skills too.

Having these various skills gives you confidence that you could switch to any one of the related careers relatively quickly if needed. They may not all be your favorites, but they could earn some extra money if needed.

These skills are like economic wings you can use to fly when needed. Victor Hugo eloquently describes it this way:

Be like the bird
That pausing in flight
While on boughs too slight,
Feels them give way
Beneath her, and yet sings,
Knowing she hath wings.

When you can fly financially using entrepreneurship, you become less anxious about the sometimes shaky ground underneath you!

Finding That Elusive Balance

Our lives are probably not the same as the extreme example from Brave New World which began this article. In reality, we fluctuate back and forth between the extremes.

Sometimes we tilt more towards comfort and security. Other times we tip back towards growth and fulfillment.

The balance between the two is elusive. I admit that I continue to bob back and forth myself.

But my own goal is to make the fluctuations less extreme over time. Although none of us will ever reach it, we can hope to close the gap between our ideals and our reality. And this pursuit makes us better and gives us a richer experience of life.

I’ll leave you with the closing of “The Song of the Open Road” by Walt Whitman. The poem seems to be about travel, but it’s really about the road of life. It’s a verse that inspires and challenges me regularly on the topics I’ve just shared with you:

Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe – I have tried it – my own feet have tried it well – be not detain’d!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the shelf unopen’d!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn’d!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulput! let the lawyer plead in the court, and the judge expound the law.

Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

What is enough comfort and security for you? How do you strike a balance between comfort/security and growth/ fulfillment?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below.

Get My Free Real Estate Investing Toolkit!

Enter your email address and click "Get Toolkit"

Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

Email Address

I'd like to receive the free email course. NO Spam. Unsubscribe anytime with 1 click. Powered by ConvertKit

Related

Comments

I highly agree with your idea of the fulfillment and safety & comfort zone. It is encouraging to hear that you and your family can take these mini retirements aka “long holidays”. This is definitely one of the advantages of being self-employed and having a strong financial background.
Although I am not completely agreeing with the FIRE community about the end goal of retiring early but it is definitely interesting to see what people are doing (traveling etc)

Great post today! It’s so easy to fly past the enough and end up with too much spending/stuff. The longer I’ve been on this FIRE journey the less early retirement is appealing and mini-retirements are definitely getting more interesting!

Coach Carson, thank you for this blog. I love the idea of intentionally moving toward life by taking steps that take us away from what causes us to shrivel up and die. The blog reminds me that relationship, contentment, and love are what really satisfy – not stuff and money and power. But we have to constantly be intentional about choosing life, because everything around us (perhaps unwittingly) is pushing us to choose the opposite. Today I choose to release anxiety and I choose to enjoy the love that is all around me! I choose to be pursued rather than to pursue. “Surely goodness and mercy will pursue and overtake me ALL the days of my life.” (From the Bible in Psalm 23)

Great article Coach! KISS method applied to life in general can be overwhelmingly positive. This helps me when my ‘grant cardone voice’ wants to push me into more more more. Im much happier when things are simple and time is plentiful for rest/family/hobbies. Would love to learn of the challenges and personal fulfillment that your family has received by being in Ecuador.. you thinking of additional months/years there?

“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow” – by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Love this post! Financially speaking, having a balance and finding your enough works wonders. With personal growth, I tend to seek out new opportunities whenever comfort hits. Not because I don’t like the comfort, but I know there is yet so much more to learn and experience. And it’s one of the reasons I quit my job last week (but did found something else first) 🙂

I love that Emerson quote. And congrats on leaving the job! Everyone I know who has retired early and who is still happy finds new ways to grow and move beyond comfort. Beaches and pina coladas are nice breaks for me, but big picture I need something more.

Coach, you knocked it out of the park with this post! I totally agree with the concept of ‘enough’ that I cover in my talks to our financial club members as well. It takes both maturity and humility to realize our own small ‘cog’ like role in keeping the world turning – and fulfillment is a far greater goal than endless pursuit of wealth. Are you still in Ecuador?

With this mature post, I know I found a great partner to find investments with. This kind of well-rounded thinking and your expertise in real estate is rare – This is what I am looking for to find those rare high-yield “private” deals in RE that are uncorrelated with the stock market. Please let me know if you are interested – I would love to work with you (assuming you don’t plan to stay in Ecuador forever!). I will bring value in other ways, for you to evaluate as well.

Thanks 10FR! Yes, we are still in Ecuador through sometime next year, but the amazing experience will certainly make it hard to leave. Let’s definitely talk more sometime about real estate deals. I am on a bit of a pause while abroad, but there could be more opportunities in the future. Want to contact me at : https://www.coachcarson.com/contact/ ? Or will you be at #FinCon17?

Chad, awesome post! I am part of a small group of individuals seeking FIRE. We hold monthly conference calls and next month we may discuss lifestyle (both leading up to, and once achieving full FI) and I believe your post will provide some great ideas and concepts for discussion. Thank you!

I enjoy your site, thanks for the great post! I think this is so relevant to everyone as we all move along in our own personal journey. While I love the premise of your money or your life I do think that sometimes the message that it sends is skimp now to break away from traditional society and enjoy later. While I think that it is massively important to save and invest early whether real estate (loved your tax article being a tax guy myself) or any other avenue. I do think that what happens is people get caught up in the FIRE movement and then sacrifice way to much by trying to cut back on everything and miss the point of the journey and enjoying today.

Stepping out of my comfort zone I am attempting to get into blogging and creating another source of income. Not only will it be great if it picks up but I am getting more fulfillment out of it then I expected. I think as humans if you are not challenging yourself in some way life gets boring.

When I started off saving it was to just “retire early” but as the years pass I feel more and more like I never want to retire. I just want independence and choices to pursue whatever gives me that feeling of personal growth.

Great article and I hope to get more involved in the conversation here in the future.

Hey Damn Millennial (love the name!). Thanks for stopping by to comment. I loved your quote “I feel more and more like I never want to retire. I just want independence and choices to pursue whatever gives me that feeling of personal growth.” I couldn’t agree more. And I think the amount of saving and skimping to do is a very personal decision. But the key to me is identifying what “enjoying today” means. If cutting back to the extreme gives someone free time that was sorely missing, it could be totally worth it. For others, maybe not.

That is true it comes down to personal preference. What some enjoy others want no part of so to each their own in that sense.

Also I listened to your story on the Mad Fientist podcast but was wondering if you have any perspective on multi family units 16+ range. Would be really interested to get your perspective, maybe you have already wrote about it and can give me a link. Will keep checking in for sure, thanks for the reply.

Top Resources

I have 85 recommended tools for you to become better as a real estate investor. My first priority is helping you, my reader, to learn and improve. These tools and resources helped me and I'm hopeful they will help you too.

Affiliate Disclosure

I recommend books, tools, and other resources from time to time using links within my articles. In some cases these links are affiliate links. This means that if you click through and purchase, my company will receive a commission on the sale. These commissions help pay the bills around here (and avoid the need for spammy ads). But keep in mind that I only recommend a product or service if I’ve used it and personally believe in it. And I’ll recommend something that’s good whether it has an affiliate link or not. My first priority is helping you, my reader, to learn and improve.