Anchors and Engines

I’d like to share a story with you.

The other day I was with a friend and we got to talking about our hopes and dreams for next year.

As much as I love chatting about this stuff with you here on the blog, I often find myself quite guarded when asked about my dreams, never really knowing how much of myself to share or what parts of my dreams to throw out into the conversation.

So I listened to her and then I started talking about the blog and my passion for writing and sharing ideas with like-minded people etc.

The more I talked the less I felt like I wasn’t being listened to but rather judged.

I then found myself trying to justify my intentions, “Well, you know, I’m an avid reader and love listening to self-improvement material and I’m constantly looking for ways to improve my life and relationships. I also love people and really want to share these tips and ideas with my amazing readers on the blog because I truly feel it can make a difference in their lives. And don’t we all deserve to be happy? The world needs happier people, right?… blah blah blah”

By the end of my bordering on D.D. sounding speech – desperate and depressing – I was quite literally sick of the sound of my own voice.

It was clear by the look on her face that her mind was already made up and I was a fool to think I was anything special or that I could make a difference.

It sucked and later that night, I realised that not only did her silence and disapproving eyebrows leave me wanting to “explain” myself but it also left me doubting and second-guessing who I am and what I could achieve.

My buzz was killed. I mean well and truly annihilated and left on the battlefield where other hopes and dreams wither away and die at the hands of the big bad naysayers.

It would come as no surprise that I felt pretty shitty. Perhaps, she was right, “Who am I? What gives me the right to write and share my thoughts with the world? Holy crap, maybe she’s right!”

I’m sharing this story with you because if you’ve ever had something like that happen to you then I want you to know that you’re not alone. I feel you.

We all have people – it may even be our partners or family members – who love to be our “reality-check” when in actual fact I prefer to regard them as life’s kill-joys, buzz-zappers and dream-snatchers.

If you’ve ever been in a situation where you’ve been made to question yourself. Or you’ve not gone after something that you really wanted because of another person’s limiting beliefs then I urge you not to listen them.

Instead do some ‘social decluttering’ – as in tell those said folks to take a flying jump – then prove them wrong, take action and be amazing.

A wise person once said, “You can’t hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life”. So, reviewing the people we hang around with – including our friends and family – is massively important.

But another thing that’s equally important is to always be conscious of the kind of friend we are presenting to the world.

For example, How do you show up? Are you positive, supportive and inspiring to be around? Are you an awesome friend, dependable, loyal and loving? Are you everything that you would look for in those closest to you and what you hope people would say about you in your absence?

If not, why not?

As you know we get out of life what we put in. So, if you want your friends and family members to be incredible and meet you on a level that makes you feel happy to be around them then you need to exemplify those exact same qualities yourself.

Having said that we all know people who are stubborn, pig-headed, and down right sour-pusses and no amount of good cheer and positive vibes will change that.

No matter how much sunshine you bring to the party to brighten up their day, that grey gloomy cloud that holds permanent residency over their heads will remain in situ regardless of your good intentions. C’est la vie, baby.

But in all other cases, be the best person you possibly can be and try not to let negative outside influencers distract you or throw you off course from achieving all that you imagine possible in the world and for you.

As we wrap up, I would love to leave you with these wonderful words by model and business mogul, Kathy Ireland in an interview she gave for Success Magazine:

“Do you surround yourself with anchors or engines? In life there are engines that propel us forward, believe in us and are supportive. And then there are the anchors who weigh everything down. It’s important to stop and think are you surrounding yourself with anchors or engines. Are you an anchor or an engine?”

I love her take on this and think it’s something we can all consider as we move forward towards building, re-building (as the case may be) and strengthening our relationships with friends and loved ones.

And you know what, if you’ve ever been in a situation when someone has been an asshole, – sorry, I mean an anchor – then perhaps its worth firing up your own engine so you can propel yourself in the direction of your heart’s desire.

Never forget that everything you need to succeed and to be your happiest possible self lies within you; what you learn, achieve and the people you meet along the way are your beautiful bonuses.

What you waiting for, go “whip your hair” and be incredible,

All my love,

Nat x

PGQ: How do you push past negativity and the naysayers? Share your tips in the comments below.