That was really quite awesome, Roger. Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.

I wouldn't be able to do it with biscotti, but I've been known to pull that shit with some other stuff.

The important part is that instead of admitting they were full of shit, they told Roger off instead of laughing about it, which means they take themselves too seriously. Because when you're embarrassed quite so thoroughly, the only proper response is a "oh, no, this biscotti seems to have quite a bit of egg in it because I've managed to get it all over my face."

"Get offa me, you freaks! This is not North Korea. No. This is America, and I expect to be PAID for that sort of nonsense. In advance. No credit...Cash on the barrelhead or GTFO. I swear to God, there's nothing more annoying than commie perverts who don't understand the intrinsic value of the free market system."

So, I went to my friend Ross's housewarming party. His girlfriend's mother had made a bunch of homemade biscotti for this event, and was taste-testing it for possible sale. They had arranged two slightly different recipes for each type, and were asking if there was a noticeable difference between each one.

Problem: It was an art crowd, so there were more than a few hipsters there. Almost all of them were +1s of Ross and his GF's actual friends.

The hipsters went on and on about which particular type of tea each variation would go best with. What's more, they were all trying to outdo each other on which bizarre tea would work best. I stood it as long as I could, then asked Lucy (Ross's GF) and her mother if I could try something.

I went in the kitchen, and put two of the exact same biscottis on each plate, and asked for one last round of taste tests. The hipsters did the same thing, calling out subtle differences, and declaring which jasmine/rose/whatever tea would go better with each one.

After about 5 minutes of this, I announce that I had made an error, and that there was no difference at all between the two biscottis.

Utter silence.

After a second or two, I heard Lucy hiccuping in the kitchen. I felt awful...Here was her housewarming party, and I'd gone and made her cry. I went into the kitchen, and there she was...Supporting herself on the sink, beside her mother, and both of them were wheezing with laughter, and trying to stay quiet.

Later, I was out back having a smoke, and one of the hipsters came out and told me what a shit I was. I smiled and agreed. He snarled a curse at me and left. I couldn't stop giggling.

A moment later, Lucy came out and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said that she'd always wanted to see a couple of them taken down a notch, and that it was the best housewarming party ever.

Jenn was amused, and told me that she'd always known there was a reason she keeps me around.

So, yeah. Not cut out for Tucson's excuse for an art crowd, don't care.

You just made my day, Man Yellow! I would've loved to have been there.

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

So, I went to my friend Ross's housewarming party. His girlfriend's mother had made a bunch of homemade biscotti for this event, and was taste-testing it for possible sale. They had arranged two slightly different recipes for each type, and were asking if there was a noticeable difference between each one.

Problem: It was an art crowd, so there were more than a few hipsters there. Almost all of them were +1s of Ross and his GF's actual friends.

The hipsters went on and on about which particular type of tea each variation would go best with. What's more, they were all trying to outdo each other on which bizarre tea would work best. I stood it as long as I could, then asked Lucy (Ross's GF) and her mother if I could try something.

I went in the kitchen, and put two of the exact same biscottis on each plate, and asked for one last round of taste tests. The hipsters did the same thing, calling out subtle differences, and declaring which jasmine/rose/whatever tea would go better with each one.

After about 5 minutes of this, I announce that I had made an error, and that there was no difference at all between the two biscottis.

Utter silence.

After a second or two, I heard Lucy hiccuping in the kitchen. I felt awful...Here was her housewarming party, and I'd gone and made her cry. I went into the kitchen, and there she was...Supporting herself on the sink, beside her mother, and both of them were wheezing with laughter, and trying to stay quiet.

Later, I was out back having a smoke, and one of the hipsters came out and told me what a shit I was. I smiled and agreed. He snarled a curse at me and left. I couldn't stop giggling.

A moment later, Lucy came out and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said that she'd always wanted to see a couple of them taken down a notch, and that it was the best housewarming party ever.

Jenn was amused, and told me that she'd always known there was a reason she keeps me around.

So, yeah. Not cut out for Tucson's excuse for an art crowd, don't care.

This is....

You gave me a warm fuzzy tingle all the way down to my toes, here. There is nothing I love more than hipsters being humiliated in front of each other.

Well, except making hipsters uncomfortable. God I love that.

Logged

“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“All that goodness, with a frozen chicken in the middle.”― Doktor Howl, 2014