I think that can happen so easily in a big city, especially to people who feel isolated.

The holiday season can be a difficult time.

I spent Christmas alone in London once and that really felt like a low point.

Advertisement

Advertisement

Everything shuts down for Christmas – it felt like the world had stopped.

There was no public transport, I just walked into the city and walked around.

It was like a ghost town or some sort of movie.

I remember feeling so sad and so ashamed, thinking that I was living in this huge city with so many people around me but I couldn’t tell anyone that I didn’t have someone to spend Christmas with.

I thought that being alone at Christmas was proof that I didn’t matter, proof that no one in my life valued me enough to spend Christmas with me and admitting that felt too humiliating.

Crowds can make you feel more alone than ever (Picture: Getty)

I think that’s one of the problems with loneliness; you start to believe that you’re the reason you’re alone and that you’re the only one who feels that way.

It’s easy to believe that everyone has someone except for you – that it’s your fault, that there’s something wrong with you.

For me, having depression can make dealing with loneliness difficult.

I get stuck in a cycle.

I don’t want to be alone and I know that being alone makes me feel worse but when I’m feeling depressed I often isolate myself, believing the things my depression makes me feel.

So I withdraw from others and that makes me feel more lonely, reinforcing those beliefs and adding to my depression.

Advertisement

Advertisement

It’s easy to get disconnected in London and it can be challenging to find help that’s the right fit.

Twenty-two per cent of people in London are always or often lonely (Picture: Getty)

I’ve found that I fall into a sort of wasteland between services – there are so many different services available but I either don’t qualify for them or they don’t suit my needs.

When you’re looking for support it’s often because you need support at that moment.

You might not know where to look for that help or even what that help would look like – you just know you need something.

Although I feel lonely, I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.

Research from the Red Cross and the Co-op has found that almost one quarter (22 per cent) of the capital population are either always or often lonely.

So although writing this makes me feel quite vulnerable, my hope is that by being open about my experiences with loneliness and isolation I can somehow help others to know that they’re not alone in feeling this way.

Do something that takes you out of your normal environment (Picture: Getty)

Zoe’s tips for tackling loneliness in the capital

1. Reach out and talk to someone

Anyone.

A friend, a family member, a co-worker, an acquaintance.

A doctor, a teacher, a mentor, a therapist.

Call the Samaritans on 116 123 or look online for resources in your area.

You’re not alone.

2. Go outside

London has some beautiful parks and incredible landmarks.

Go for a walk and do some sightseeing.

Get some fresh air and clear your head, even if you don’t feel like leaving the house.

3. Find something you enjoy doing – and do it

Joining a club, getting a hobby or attending a class can be a great way to take your mind off things and meet people who share similar interests.

4. Volunteer in your local community

Volunteering is a way to do something you’re interested in, meet other people and feel like you’re make a difference.

For example, the Red Cross has lots of opportunities for volunteers to support people who are feeling vulnerable or isolated.

5. Do something different

Go to a museum or an art gallery, go for a run, see a friend for coffee.

Do something that takes you out of your normal environment and allows you to be around other people or at least just breaks up your day.

Above all else, be kind to yourself.

Remind yourself that your circumstances are temporary.

Feeling lonely right now does not mean that you are alone or that you’ll feel lonely forever.