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Monday, April 20, 2009

Monday, April 20, 2009

So tell me, how long's it been since you stared at a pregnant woman's naked belly?

Wow, that long? Well, have no fear! As long as belly cakes are made, I promise to never let you forget what a pregnant woman's torso looks like. Or at least a fondant-covered version of one, anyway. Consider it my personal Cake Wrecks guarantee to you.

You're welcome.

Now, you would be forgiven for seeing a bald Ziggy doll in a bib here at first. (I know I sure did.) After all, I don't think I've ever featured a belly cake with the oh-so-authentic "belly line" before.

Speaking of which: When I first saw this cake I had no idea what that line was or why it was there, since I've never been pregnant. So I mentioned it to a then-pregnant friend. My friend was quite helpful and, despite my protests, insisted on whipping up her dress to show me the line on her own belly. Which was...unexpected. Kelly R., I have you to thank for that bit of enlightenment. So thanks. Really.

I used to think that part of the belly cake's creepiness was due to its having no head. Then Melody W. sent this in:

And I totally changed my mind.

By the way, I've never seen a belly button look quite so much like a...well... belly button before. It totally looks like a tufted pillow. Or maybe the end of a giant hot dog. [head tilt] Ok, yeah: let's stick with "pillow."

You know what these belly cakes are missing, though? No, no, besides that. Sex appeal, that's what. Totally. Tune in tomorrow for a few spicy numbers that you are sure to remember far, far into the future. Like, deathbed future, even.(I'm trying to ramp up your sense of anticipation. Is it working?)

Don't they know how sensitive pregnant women are? I practically cried over the fact that my baby shower cake had green trim instead of blue. Had I been greeted with any of this...it makes me shudder just thinking about it.

Those are some scary cakes! Two facts that I think should be added here...1) The "belly line" is technically called the linea negra (but not all women get them)2) On the top cake "Mazal Tov" should actually bespelled "Mazel Tov"

I have known pregnant women who totally wore underwear like that. They're not "maternity thongs" they're regular thongs. Most women can fit into regular underwear when they are pregnant, provided they don't expect the underwear to come up to their belly button, granny style. I have known pregnant woman who went out of their way to buy underwear that basically covers up the entire belly, but wearing whatever underwear you wore before pregnancy seems way cheaper and easier to me, thongs or no.

Still those cakes are deeply disturbing. Are you sure tomorrow's are worse?

jen, i'm wondering if on cw2 you might want to blur or black-bar the face, just in case the pictured mama sees this and gets upset. i used to post photos of people doing rude things in my blog (eating unpaid for food, for example), until someone pointed out that even though I shot photos in a public place, i could be sued.

Yeah because *thats* the kind of underwear pregnant women wear!Lol, Autumn, they DO in fact make maternity thongs. I came across some at "Motherhood" back when I was pregnant. Let me just say that underwear lines were NOT my top concern while pregnant! (And thongs, that big - sick and wrong my friends, just sick and wrong)

I want to know where the stretch marks are on those pregnant belly cakes. I really think that if my relatives ever greeted me at my baby shower with a belly cake, I would have disowned them. And if it had been a friend? Well, we probably wouldn't be friends anymore. Yuck.

Ali Mae - although you made me laugh...PLEASE do not give these wreckmakers anymore ideas - as gross as these cakes are, the idea of stretchmarks on a cake [Rand McNally Road Atlas Anyone?] made me throw up a lil' in my mouth.

As someone 22 weeks pregnant with my second child, I may just have to avoid cw tomorrow... I stare at a pg belly every day and even *I* don't want to see that!

And yes, there's a line. The line is one of many, many little details "they" don't tell you about in sex-ed. If you someday plan to have children, do yourself a favor now and just forget everything you think you know...

These are absolutely disgusting as cakes. I couldn't imagine being presented with something like this at a baby shower.One really creepy thing is that while pregnant, a woman's sex drive actually INCREASES...which scares a lot of men, because they don't want to engage in that kind of activity with their pregnant spouse for fear of damaging the baby. The baby is well protected by amniotic fluid and all that....believe me! Maybe that's why they put the sexy thong on the one cake.

What? Belly line? WHY does pregnancy have to come with all these hidden surprises?Someone needs to compile a list so I'm prepared when I decide to have kids.I'd also rather not learn about these things from a cake.

Well it was just this morning that I stared at a pregnant woman's belly--mine--and I can assure you it doesn't look anything like those! lol Mine has many more stretch marks but still looks better than those cakes. Ewww....

Well, since the last time I saw a pregnant belly was this morning, these cakes aren't so much memory joggers. What they do for me though, is inspire the intense fear that I will be surprised by such an unfortunate piece of baked confection at my own baby shower. Here's hoping they go with a ducky or rattle...

I can't help thinking about how much the 2nd preggie cake has no arms. And how her boobs are a little square. It's a very unfitting design. It seems as though the decorator didn't know exactly what a human body looked like.

I must admit, I'm deathly afraid of pregnancy. It's like a phobia, kinda like tokophobia. I can't stop to stare these cake. Augh! It creeps me out!!!!

(Ironic, however, is that I don't mind dissections, evisceration, you name it--I'm taking some EMT classes, and trauma photos are a breeze for me. Stabbed in the eye? Sucks. Brain splatters? Ew, but oh well.)

Honestly, at first look I thought that first cake was an *ahem* "enhanced" breast. With the line as the scar from the insertion surgery. I mean, c'mon -- that looks NOTHING like a belly button (but it does look like something else)! No idea what the triangle-thingie might have been, had you not said that the cake was a belly and the triangle was underwear.

And because I have a morbid sense of humor, I really want these cakes to be red velvet inside. Perhaps with red gel icing between the layers. Heehee!

The thong-belly one looks like a very bizarre baseball cap to me. You've got the cap, the button at the top of the cap, a seam, and then the visor, although the visor is weirdly triangular and trimmed with lace.

I say, if you are going to make one of these belly cakes, they should be made out of red velvet, have some sort of gelatin filling, and of course have a baby doll stuck inside of it. Gross? Absolutely, but if you are going to do it, why not go all the way.

I think the first one with the Victoria's Secret-worthy panties had sex appeal. Albeit of the more perplexing variety.

But seriously, bad enough having a belly cake, then you got to add sexy panties, THEN underneath that was "Mazel Tov!" WTF?

Whenever I get knocked up, I'll just want a sheet cake, thankyouverymuch. No frills, no lofty designs. It just needs to taste good. I'm a simple gal with simple tastes. Yellow cake with chocolate icing, please. Nom.

Well isn't this nice...the thought and sentiment that was put into serving a BELLY cake? Good Lord, what next? How about we start serving up a 'beer gut, hairy chest, no butt' cake for certain men at their prime age? LMBO Now that would be a cake to remember...

My baby shower had cupcakes. I asked for about 1,000 red velvet cupcakes, no naked carrot riding babies, no cutesie toppers, no edible images of me/my belly. And that's what I got, folks. A ton of cupcakes and life was good.

I'm just glad I had a pretty sheet cake that looked like a handmade quilt, in soft blues, greens and yellows. It was quite nice looking as baby cakes go. I do think that pregnant women are beautiful (and thankfully, so did my husband 22 & 17 years ago!) but the belly cakes, not so much.

Regarding the spelling of Mazal/Mazel, in Israel it's pronounced Mazal (and with the accent on the second syllable). I think the "Mazel" pronunciation is Yiddish, not Hebrew, especially since the stress is on the first syllable. So, maybe the bride is Israeli? Or a stickler for Hebrew language?

So I can see some twit thinking it would be funny to order such a cake. But what kind of sick puppy actually says, "Sure, I can do that!" Maybe it makes them feel god-like, shaping a woman's belly, but that whole process, including the end result, is just. so. wrong.

This is my first comment, although I've been reading for a few months now.. Never have I been SO grossed out by anything so much as these belly cakes!!!!!! I've had two babies recently and while I adore the female body, even the button-line (though I didn't get one with either) these are SOOOOOOOO gross looking!!!! And to sexualize the one with the lingerie, and the poor woman who's face was on the second!?!? HORRENDOUS! Please God, do not be red velvet cake under the icing!(oh, and yes, they do make pregnancy thongs).

I do have to say that I find it remarkable that only one person has commented on the corsage!!! It's totally my favorite part! Ridiculous!

I do have to say also that I was wondering if there was a baby (doll or fondant?) inside the belly... GROSS.

For the record, pregnancy is beautiful, and these cakes are hilarious, but I don't know If I would inflict either one of these on a woman who is preggers. She would be in tears, or depending on how hormonal she is, she might go into premature labor from either laughing so hard or from shock!

*YAWN* I'm sure this whole babybump gig was original ONCE UPON A TIME, but MAN--talk about overdone to the point of being trite/corny. I can't envision anyone actually thinking, "Oooo! That is SO wild!" And by-the-by, I think the last belly button looks like an anus with a peanut stuck in it.I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings; the "spicy" teaser/hint is like waiting for the other shoe to drop...! =^??^=I'm guessing it'll be along the lines of out-and-out pornocakeography! Am I warm?

To all you pregnant women out there, let these cakes be a lesson...email me and arrange to have maternity portraits taken. It's a far better way to focus on your baby bump. I mean really, you want people thinking about these images when they think of you pregnant?

Perhaps neither lady has stretch marks! There are those that are so fortunate. A girl I work with has a 2 year old and nary a stretch mark (and I've done her bikini waxes so I know...) and a rockin' bod. She's young enough to be my daughter and I so wish I'd looked like that with a toddler!

Ah jeez, these cakes are so horribly TACKY! Can't anyone come up with a decent baby shower cake? If my friends brought me one of these monstrosities, I'd clobber her over the head with it. At least it provides us with entertainment, though, eh? ;)

Whenever I see belly cakes, or any cake that resembles a realistic animal or baby, I can't help but imagine somebody really crossing the line and using a Red Velvet Cake for it. Or one of those chocolate cakes with the oozy filling, like a volcano cake.

First off, yes, they make maternity thongs. Being how I CANNOT stand granny panties, I scooped myself up some thongs at the maternity clothing store ASAP after my non-pregnant drawers got too confining. They were not, however, frilly, lacy or any way, shape or form sexy but WAAYY comfy!!

On a different note, preggo belly cakes seem all the rage (ick!!), but where are the...after the birth...saggy belly, puckered up stretch mark, where'd the heck did my belly button go? belly cakes? Now THAT would be a huge dose of reality in cake form. Probably even less appealing than preggo cakes, though. Oh well, just a thought!

I made this cake and it was one of my first... when the mom asked me to do it I was blown away. Why would you want to eat your pregnant daughter? The truely funny part of this was the delivery... I had my 4 and 6 yr olds with me and my 6yr old freaked out and said the cake was staring at her and my 4yr old said...It is posed too it is a peoples.

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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