Tag: Street Fighter

Some things in life are better left unexamined. A recent Brazilian television interview with former UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva reminds us of that.

As far as topics that should be left alone, we’re not talking about the ridiculous idea that Silva may have intentionally let himself get brutally knocked out by Chris Weidman a few weeks ago. Silva did indeed get asked about that by the television show host and you can see his emotional response in the video above.

I’m no Portuguese speaker but Silva definitely does mention feeling that when he fights he is representing Brazil and all Brazilians and that he’d never throw a fight. As he discusses this, he gets choked up and sheds a few tears before being embraced by applause from the studio audience and literally by the host.

But, like we said, that’s not the sensitive topic that should be avoided. No, what we’re not sure should ever be spoken of or probed into is – what/who the heck is the anorexic, half naked, full-body painted green and fire red-haired thing over Silva’s shoulder in the video? For that matter, why is their another shirtless dude just standing behind Silva as well?

Even asking the questions makes us uncomfortable so we’ll leave it alone. Unless you, dear readers, would like to theorize what in tarnation is going on with those weirdos on the South American variety show.

Poorly cast Street Fighter character impersonators? Anderson Silva’s new body guards? Some type of esoteric protest of the World Cup and Olympics? Your guess is as good as ours.

In our first installment of MMA in the Wild, we observed the fighting patterns of the HillBillyetica DipShiticus, a creature that used Facebook chicanery and a surprisingly diverse striking attack to display his dominance as alpha male of the porch-dwelling, slack-jawed humanoid tribe. In today’s installment, we will witness a beast of an entirely different nature (puns!), known henceforth as the Ninjitsu Ballisticus. Combining the hidden rage of the World of Warcraft freak out kid with the technical striking abilities of a young Cung Le, Ballisticus does not head into the wild seeking a fight, and will only resort to such primitive methods of solving a dispute when his back is against a wall.

But when his back is against the wall, prepare for hell, because he will hit you with such force that both a visible dust cloud will appear on impact and THE GUILE THEME SONG WILL BE EXPELLED FROM THE HEAVENS.

And just as quickly as he thrashes you to and fro like some kind of child’s play thing, he will declare that “He didn’t come to the river for this shit!” before vanishing back into the trees. The Ninjitsu Ballisticus, ladies and gentlemen.

Here we thought that it was going to take a guy with a solid wrestling base who could put Anderson on his back to grind out a decision win over “The Spider.” Apparently all it takes to beat Silva is a solid Hadouken.