Category Archives: Society Vs.

It’s come to my attention today that there is now a new tax on woman’s sanitary products because it is a “luxury” for us to use them. This is infuriating to me because we already pay a tax on everything we buy, but now there’s a “luxury” tax. That’s like the time I found out the restaurant I used to work at charged an extra $0.10 to stir cheese in eggs. Tampons and pads are a basic necessity and if someone doesn’t agree with me then I’ll bleed all over your bed and see what you say then.

So I’ve been trying to find reason and understanding in this whole thing. If we don’t wear these “luxury” sanitary products we will ruin our clothes, get completely ridiculed by the public, feel even more gross about ourselves than we normally do because there’s blood everywhere, not to mention all the health problems we would be risking because we are not properly disposing of the blood itself.

When I was in 4th grade and was first taking what they called “sex ed,” which for my age group consisted of separating the boys from girls and teaching each group about our still growing bodies, they taught it to us like it was something embarrassing. “When it happens no one has to know about it. You just wear the pad and don’t tell anyone.” Instead of first saying that there was nothing to be ashamed about.

I’m honestly so sick and tired of the issues that I have faced in my life because I have a period. Yep. I said that to everyone who is reading. I’m not going to sugar coat it or talk about it in hushed whispers or pretend like it doesn’t exist. I’m not going to say to myself, “If I don’t talk about it then no one else will know about it either.” Because that isn’t true and I don’t care if people know it. The only time I ever cared was before I actually got one.

In high school if boys were bothering me or any of my friends all I had to do was say, “Does anyone have a tampon?” Or another comment pertaining to that time of the month and they scattered like roaches when someone turns a light on.

And guys grow up thinking that it’s something embarrassing. They don’t hesitate to talk about their own bodily functions and what goes on with them but you bring up the subject of menstruation and BAM: instant subject change. Guys are terrified of the thought of buying sanitary products for their family members/girlfriends. (Apparently, that comes with maturity. )

When I was younger and my sister asked me to run into the store to buy her tampons I was embarrassed by it because that’s what I was being taught. (People want to blame parents for the things their kids say and do or the way that they feel but compared to the influence of other people around them and what they see in this world, parents don’t have a prayer).

We are taught that it’s gross and that no one should know about it. It’s an unspoken topic that isn’t appropriate to speak of. That we are less of a woman when we have it. There are cultures that believe that woman shouldn’t cook, or sleep in their own houses, etc just because of their normal bodily function.

Well we are not less of a woman. In fact, our periods make us more of a woman because we are the creators of life. Our very existence relies on a woman’s ability to form a child in her body. Menstruation is a part of that ability.

And no one takes that as seriously as they should. With the growing number of teenage pregnancies (even the children who haven’t reached that stage in their lives), the rate of abortions, and the degrading of woman around the world. the beauty of giving life is now meaningless.

I hate to say it but we all know that in the last few years the war on men and woman, the war on race, the war on homosexuality, etc has become more extreme. In my last post about woman, I was urging woman to think more about how they present themselves because quite a bit of the reason for how woman have been being treated is because a lot of woman have taken the rights we have and twisted them to mean something completely different than what they were meant to be for.

But this time I’m addressing the war on woman that has made us the way we are. The way we are raised and publicly scrutinized. This needs to stop, this needs to change. We are not gross. We are not embarrassing. We are not sex objects. We are beautiful, intelligent, and worth so much more. It’s time to start standing up for it, acting like it, and believing it.

When you become a parent, an uncle or aunt, an older sibling, or some other big title, you are responsible for the welfare of that wonderful, new life. A couple of years ago my sister moved down from South Dakota with all three of her children and the moment I held my youngest niece was one of the most life changing experiences. I’d never known love like that before, and from then on I’ve accepted a type of responsibility for them that I always thought only parents felt.

What I remember from when I was a child was how every member of my family dressed me. I had several different styles, and it all depended on who I was spending time with. Sometimes I was cute, sometimes I was classy, sometimes I was casual. No matter the occasion, I wore some pretty interesting clothing. As time went on and I eventually started school, I also noticed dress codes. The older I got the more stricter they became until I was planning my outfits weekly so that I wouldn’t have to visit the dean every day. In high school I thought it was sad that you would sometimes look at an article of clothing and not be sure if the school would allow it.

Within the last week my eyes have opened to the questions of nurture and nature. What comes naturally versus what we’ve been taught. What my parents have said is okay versus what schools and other places have shamed me for, and what God says verses what society says.

“You can’t wear that because it’s too revealing” and “Do you really want the boys to look at you that way?” These are a couple of statements teachers, principles, guidance counselors, and others have said to me. In fact my favorite incident was during my junior year of high school at a dance where I was kissing my new boyfriend goodbye. A teacher outed me in front of the entire student body and told me that if I was going to “act” like a “ho” then I needed to at least not dress like one.

Another example were these skinny jeans that became popular at one point. They had these rips in them but the rips only showed skin if you physically separated the strings. All the girls who wore them were stopped in the hall and told that they were too revealing and forced to put duct tape over them even though they were harmless.

Society needs to stop teaching us that because we are woman we have no class. Because we aren’t virgins we have no worth, and because we show parts of our legs, arms and shoulders we dress like “ho’s” Society needs to stop teaching men that it’s up to woman to control their urges, that they can’t do it alone and if a female shows a little skin that it’s okay to do whatever you want to them because they are asking for it.

This sounds harsh but that’s exactly the impression that men are getting as they grow up, and from recent surveys and articles that I have read woman are now believing it as well. This is a problem because it has caused men to think that we are property to toss around which has caused us to react to men with the same treatment.

I’ve come to realize that men learn from woman and woman learn from men. Men treat woman the way woman treated them and vice versa. The problems that arise between the two sexes are behaviors that we have learned. So let’s stop sexualizing each other and start lifting each other up. Let’s teach the next generations class and respect and morality and not how to not dress like a prostitute and that you can’t control yourselves. Let’s stop degrading others and ourselves.

Even though we are both human, men and woman are two completely different species. We’re forced to live in this world together because we need each other. Not only for reproduction, but for love and friendship. Woman can do things that men can’t and men can do things that woman can’t. There’s a reason one can’t reproduce without the other, why men are physically stronger and why woman are more nurturing. Some of you can bring up the subject of artificial insemination, but that sperm came from somewhere. It’s like the saying, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” The answer in this instance is neither. They came together which means no one is above another.

God created Adam and gave him the Earth and knowledge so that he made teach Eve, whom He created next because He knew Adam needed her. They did not hate each other, they did not degrade each other, they did not hurt each other, Adam didn’t tell her that she wasn’t dressed appropriately and Eve didn’t tell him that it’s okay because he couldn’t contain himself. It wasn’t until Eve ate the fruit that all these thoughts and accusations started. It was a learned behavior. So let’s start speaking life.

Before I begin phase two of my Society Vs. section, I have to ask that you not think that I’m bashing all the teachings of society. I’m aware there is great reading material, music, movies, and organizations that are helpful and encouraging. What I’m aiming for is to share what I think is bad about society, and be one of the many voices that say it needs to change.

What is the difference between what society teaches and what comes to us naturally? Where society is different from nurture, there is no difference between society and nature. What is natural? Love, sex, anger, revenge. As children, we start out as some of the worst human beings. We lie, cheat, and steal from each other. We also hit and scream. we’re selfish, unkind, and anything bane you can imagine. It’s not until we’re taught morals by our parents that we become decent.

When you think about what you see in media (TV, music, reading material, etc), is being a better person the lesson it is teaching you? I don’t think so. The only thing it’s doing is giving you the option to do the wrong thing or do the right thing. This, of course, comes with a price. You can eat a fatty meal that’s not good for you, but is cheap. However, you can buy a salad and water for twice the price. By buying this line of health food, you lose weight, yet it’ll cost you your bill money. You can go outside and ride your bike and enjoy the scenery. Sitting on your butt with a controller and a pack of Oreos is the other alternative.

Most music is ruining the minds of everyone. Artists are singing about taking advantage of woman (and men), and treating their loved ones like garbage. They mention drugs, money, racism, hate, and meaningless sex. They openly say that this is cool and don’t realize that they’re changing the mindset of those who adore them. Even if you listen to a song because the tune is catchy, you may not know the words or what it’s about. You still hear the words and they feed into your subconscious.

These are just a few examples of the things that we learn as we get older. We’re brought up hating ourselves. we’re being told what we should look like, how we should carry ourselves, what we should wear, and how much money to spend. We’re told the order of our lives: Go to school, go to college, find a job with your degree. Then we date, get married, have kids, go on vacations (that we can’t pay for), retire, and die. But during all of this, we’re judged by others because we don’t live up to the standards that society is setting for us.

We’re pressured by our parents because they are so worried about us not living up to those standards. We’re scared that we’ll make a mistake because according to society, we need to look and be perfect. Then when we have a meltdown it’s for attention, it’s our fault, and we’re childish.

So here’s what I purpose. Let’s stop living up to other people’s standards. We should stop trying to impress people. You eat that cupcake because you want that cupcake. Watch that show because even though it’s not awesome to me, it is to you. Buy your clothes from thrift stores. Not because you can’t afford the designer line, but because thrifting is an adventure. Wear those regular clothes because they look great on you!

If you want to play that video game, do it. However, if you want to go outside do that, too. If someone tries to change you to fit their standards or puts you down because you’re different then you don’t need them. Love is fearless and sometimes that means letting go because it’s in YOUR best interest.

Everyone is important. We all have a purpose. Imagine every person you’ve ever met and how different their lives would be if you never existed. But you do, and that’s why you have to go and live your life without the standards of other people. Let’s focus on what we want and don’t want. Let’s focus on finding who we are. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s hard, too. But the reward is happiness and that’s the ending you want.

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” (1 John 2:15-17)

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

I remember I was ecstatic when my class came across ethnic groups run by a woman. History has been pretty matriarchal for the most part, and how they treated woman hasn’t been that great. Women were told how to dress, how to act, how to talk to a man, where they could be, and when they could be. In some cultures, a man had to go with them or they could face arrest. Esther married a king and faced death if she visited her husband without requesting to first. People looked down upon woman. They thought because we’re smaller, and not as physically strong, we aren’t capable of doing as much or more than men. They also assumed we didn’t have half the brain capacity than men did.

Then, women started to step up. They started teaching kids how to read, mothers how to care for their children and started movements to rid their communities of prostitution. Instead, they promoted how saving yourself for marriage is important. The woman of that time wanted to rid the world of anything that did not give woman their self-respect and dignity.

Eventually, women started to fight for the rights that they deserved: the right of the freedom to choose for themselves. Whether it was having a job, voting, or even what they wanted to wear, they could make the choice to do it without a man’s approval. They took their weaknesses and made them strengths, they proved their bravery and showed that they were just as intelligent as men.

Every day I go out into the world and the same question pops into my head: Where are these woman today? Where are the woman determined to fight for themselves and what they deserve? Where are the woman with class and self-respect? I am a waitress in the food industry. I go out to nice places and enjoy doing things like going to concerts/shows, karaoke, seeing movies, etc. I have served people at work and have seen people from all over with different jobs and reputations.

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12

I have seen women of all ages barely dressed in trying to get attention from the opposite sex and make those of the same-sex jealous. I’ve also seen those same women get mad when they get disrespected by the guys they are attracting. I get upset at the idea that woman think they have to dress that way to get attention. I get upset when they think they’ll attract a good guy dressed like that.

I’ve seen women jump each other and turn against their families and friends for the dumbest reasons. Those being: someone slept with someone they weren’t supposed to, they dressed wrong, the list goes on. I’ve seen women act nasty toward both men and other women for no reason. They speak rotten words to people instead of breathing life into them. I’ve seen woman stay in relationships with men who had no drive to get a job to help them out.

These men aren’t keeping food on the table and the bills paid. They won’t even attempt to make them happy. I’ve seen them struggle and go through a depression over circumstances that I know they have the strength to change, but won’t. They don’t want to or they’re conditioned to believe they are too weak from a bad relationship with a current or ex-boyfriend/husband, a parent/other family members, or a friend/group of friends.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:25-26

I’m so sick of hearing woman slut-shaming each other, and trying to screw up each other’s lives or the lives of men that broke their hearts. It only gives men a reason to do the same thing to a woman. I know none of us like it when our exes go around saying awful things about us (or any man or woman for that matter). It’s tiring to see women hate men and say awful things to them in the name of feminism. I just want to tell them to sit down because they don’t even know what it is.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:28-29

And so my question still stands. Who are these woman today in 2016? Where is the love that encourages people? Where is the compassion that helps people and the words that give people hope? The strength, the class, and the dignity? When will woman reality check themselves and realize that they’re more than what they think they are? When will they learn that they have power in this world?

Those women did not fight for us to have freedom so that we could choose to dress skimpy, have sex with anyone we want at whatever age we want, and put ourselves in dangerous situations. They didn’t fight so that we would feel trapped or isolated. Those women didn’t fight so we would believe media’s lies and others who want to tear us down. They didn’t fight for us to lose our dignity and self-respect. They didn’t want nude photos or secret videos of us being intimate with someone to get on the internet because we let our guard down for one night. We were fought for so that we could put our feminine touch in this world and make a difference. No one is going to take us seriously if we keep settling and downgrading ourselves.

So next time you speak to someone, think about what you say. Next time you go out, think about what you wear if you should have that drink even though you’ve already exceeded your normal limit, if you should be out with those friends or not. Next time you get into a relationship, wonder if you should be with that person physically, emotionally, and mentally. Think about who you are and wonder if that’s the woman you are supposed to be. It’s time to start changing this world.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” Proverbs 31:30-31