The World According to Nicole

In the two years since I’ve been a contracted author, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve changed a lot. And some things remain very much the same,

I thought I’d share some of my lessons along the way, whether from observation, making the mistake myself, or just common sense.

So, here you go, the world according to Nicole:

1. Like what you like and, as long as it’s not hurting anyone, be okay with that.

2. Dislike what you dislike and, as long as it’s not hurting anyone, be okay with that.

3. Don’t diss #2 in order to make yourself feel better about #1.

4. If you have to tell people you’re intelligent, successful, caring, wonderful, chances are you’re missing something.

5. You can’t succeed if you give up.

6. Writing may be my passion, I may be lucky to do it, but it’s still my job.

7. All jobs come with certain expectations and responsibilities not expressly related to the good part. (Teaching is not just teaching, it’s grading and conferences and paperwork. For example).

8. You can choose not to do those things expected or take on those responsibilities.

9. There will be consequences for that choice. So, if you make the choice, be okay with the consequence.

10. Just because there’s an article on the Internet, a mandate from your publisher, a gentle suggestion from a friend saying you should do x, y, or z, does not mean you have to do it. Again. Consequences. Be okay with them.

11. Getting angry at the people who do do it, belittling them, or asking them “no really, why do you waste your time on that thing. I’m too busy to do something frivolous so I’m genuinely curious” is a dick move. Period.

12. Comparison is the thief of joy. (Okay I stole that one from good old Teddy Roosevelt) Subtitle: Don’t worry so damn much about what other people are doing and focus on what you’re doing and what you want to accomplish. Then put your head down and accomplish the shit out of it.

13. To thine own self be true. (You know) Subtitle: Be okay with the choices you make (without being the jerk who has to validate your choices by putting down other’s).

14. To a hammer everything looks like a nail. Subtitle: some people are just A-holes. It’s okay to not be nice to A-holes. In fact, it’s okay not to like anyone, just don’t be a dick about it.

As my grandpa likes to say, “different strokes for different folks”, so your mileage my vary. BUT, let me leave you with one last thought, a quote from Conan O’Brien:

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

It’s so hard! It’s such a natural instinct to look at someone else and determine how you stack up, but comparison is also dangerous because we really don’t know what we’re comparing, and we all want and need different things. But,t hat never makes it easier to see someone with what we want and not compare.