11/24/11

Comic Books #33: Dazzler - Disco Super Heroine

Any child of the seventies will tell you that the Kiss comics were a high water mark of their childhood. It was the perfect recipe: Kiss + Comic Book = Total Freaking Awesomeness.

Kiss' label, Casablanca, and Marvel tried to recreate the magic with another music-comic hybrid - Dazzler. While Kiss fell into the glam rock genre, Dazzler was to be a disco singer/ super-heroine... and it was going to be BIG!

Well, disagreements between Marvel and Casablanca ensued, and the tie-in never came to pass. However, Stan Lee still pushed for the comic's release. And, while not the global phenomenon they envisioned, Dazzler still sold at respectable levels.

Due to her perpetual link to pop music, Dazzler became the perfect icon for the eighties: a disco queen at first, then when disco fell out of fashion, she moved on to "rock". If you want to learn all about her, there's always Wikipedia... if you want to take a little and look at some Dazzler eye candy, there's always Retrospace.

This is what appears on a video monitor when Galacticus investigates Dazzler.....

Self Preservation Levels: Superior

Adaptability: Superior

Booty Quotient: Superior

To draw Dazzler comics, you had to be an expert at drawing boobs from all varieties of angles.

Despite her connection to the pop culture scene, she was no lightweight like Jem. In fact, she was affiliated with the X-Men...... Jem would've never fit in with the X-Men.

Dazzler received a lot of criticism for being too "soft", with a heavy reliance on romance and hum-drum real-life problems. I call bullshit on that. After going back through these old Dazzler comic books, I noticed that Dazzler would often really take a beating. And the romance aspect wasn't played up any more than other superhero romances (i.e. Manhunter-Scarlet Witch, Superman-Lois Lane).

I just don't get it. She's a smoking hot super babe.... and she chooses this schlub? Bitch, pleez. Ken is the lamest character inked since Jimmy Olsen. She should be dating Wolverine.

Did I mention that Dazzler was mostly about boobs?

"Once upon a time, you dressed so fine, threw the bums a dime in your prime - - didn't you?"

Are you kidding me?

A little girl on Sunlit Lawn

Dreams of the day when she will be grown

She can convert sound into lasers, but she can't rhyme. It's sad, really.

Some classic Dazzler moments...

Riding in a big rig with She-Hulk

Dazzler makes Spiderwoman sing a Cole Porter tune

Sounds like a deal to me. Power Man and Iron Fist would be fools not to go with that.

And who can forget her nude scene? Well, well, well...

Some of the Dazzler covers were pretty cool - primarily the later issues. Here's a few examples (click to view full size).

In the end, the comics just got kinda stale. It would seem the Power of Disco was what kept her going - once it died, her days were numbered. I'm not exactly sure what ultimately became of her. Knowing how comic books operate these days, they probably turned her into a lesbian zombie (which would be pretty cool, actually).

7 comments:

Maybe that "schulb" was good to her and had excellent hygiene. Women want a guy who treats them and others well and who don't reek of BO. Looks and strength aren't as important as personality - and not stinking.

I bring up the BO thing because at the library where I work so many young men come in smelling like they haven't bathed in a couple of days and drenched in cigarette smoke. And yet think they're hot stuff. It's rather disgusting how dirty the younger generation are getting. Makes me want to go out with a fire truck loaded with soap and water and start giving some mobile forced baths.

I happen to own issues number 21 and 26 pictured above. I think Dazzler didn't interest me as much because her power - converting sound to light - didn't seem that cool. I did love the disco outfit though.

Dazzler premiered in the John Byrne-illustrated X-Man #130, met Johnny Storm (Human Torch) in Fantastic Four #217 (also by Byrne) and - big comic news in 1981 - had an limited-run Origin Issue #1 sold only at specialty shops *without* that hideous UPC symbol on the cover. I had all three issues in seventh grade, and thought I was DA MAN!

Today you can get all three issues on Ebay for five bucks. I sold my whole collection years ago to some dealer for almost nothing. A later issue of Dazzler (#17?) delt mostly with her love life in B-grade artwork, with only one small pic of her in her underwear, so that was my cue to grow up.

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