Sure, it may be sold under a different name, but you and I know who that is. These toys will probably be in high demand once I finish my screenplay REFORMASSACRE, about Michael Servetus coming back from the dead and hunting down the 16th-century leaders who martyred him.

I had a really good “spiritual gifts” joke for a men’s thong, but it doesn’t really work for a lady thong and when I tried searching for CHRISTIAN MALE UNDERWEAR my computer started smoking and a vision of John Piper appeared on my wall.

Aww yeah, son. J-Bazzy is in the survivalist business these days, selling generators, flashlights, and vittles on his website. The world is ending soon, bae. And when it does, what would you rather have: that worthless paper money or a big ol’ bucket of corn? Send in the love gift then.

This looks like a fun thing. I’m not sure what it does; I found it on a website for Christian couples. My wife, who went to public school, said that it is something for mommies and daddies who vote Democrat to use (she says that a lot). Whatever, I think it’s a new Veggie Tales character.