Doppelgängers and trolls

Both my readers (hi Mum) will by now be aware that I’ve managed to catch the internet equivalent of an STD, apparently because I’ve been having unprotected blogging with Captain Ranty.* This has taken the form of a troll already known to Captain Ranty, and also to Pat Nurse, Leg-iron and probably some others, though since this troll’s preferred activity is impersonating (often poorly) bloggers to whom he’s taken a dislike and leaving comments under their names on other people’s blogs I think a better name for him is doppelgänger. I know he’s impersonated Leg-iron elsewhere, and here alone he’s impersonated Captain Ranty, the Snowolf and Pat Nurse. As I mentioned the other day, despite having done nothing to him apart from refuse to be his tool in his campaign against the captain I’m assuming he’s added me to his list and will at some point post comments elsewhere under my name, so on the off chance you’ve come here in response to a comment seemingly left by me bear in mind it might well have been left by this paranormal double of living people, representing evil and/or misfortune.

Some guidelines at spotting my comments:

I do not ask to be added to or removed from blogrolls in comments. My blogroll consists of people whose writing I enjoy reading, and whether they reciprocate doesn’t cost me sleep. Nor would being on the blogroll of someone who isn’t on mine. Link to me or not, it’s entirely for you to decide, but if you’ve had a comment whining about it either way it is almost certainly not me.

If I think someone’s a cunt I’ll say so here in preference to doing so on your comments, but in either case I will always try to make a case for why I think they’re a cunt rather than just say they are. It will generally be someone in the news or public eye. I tend not to use other people’s comments to abuse them or other commenters even if I think cunticty has occurred.

Following on from that, though my posts and comments can sometimes be both sweary and ranty when they are there will generally be a point or an argument or perhaps just a lame joke in there. You mightn’t agree with it (or think the joke is good enough even to be called ‘lame’) but it shouldn’t be all that hard to find. If it’s not there then there’s a fair chance I didn’t write it.

See the style of the comment. See the style of the blogging here. Now back to the comment. Now back here. If there are major differences… well, the likely reason is also the obvious one.

If it’s possible to log in via Blogger, WP, Disqus etc to post a comment I will generally do so. Certainly I’m trying hard to remember to. If you can log in at yours and a comment appears from someone who has simply filled my details in the form there’s a good chance it isn’t me.

Above all I’ll stand by what I say or retract it publicly right here at Chez Exile and don’t mind you getting in touch to ask whether or not a comment is really mine. I realise that this is taking things on faith but if I have genuinely left a ranty sweary comment at your place I’ll happily take ownership of it – ask and ye shall receive confirmation, or a retraction if you persuade me that I was talking bollocks. Provided I did actually write it, of course. If I didn’t the reply will be along the lines of, “Sorry, mate. You’ve been doppelgängered.”

For the foreseeable future this post will remain stuck, nailed, screwed, glued and generally clinging on for grim death to the top of the blog.

* If you need it the mind bleach is on a shelf in the left hand cupboard in the bathroom.

He’s already screwed. The prick’s been doing his stuff from work. So a stiff formal letter to his boss (and a copy to HR) about ‘abuse of company IT resources’ will get him and any co-conspirators fired, instantly. Even if he’s the offices IT administrator, in which case he’ll be lucky to get another job, ever.

These are standard terms in any UK contract of employment, and have been since the early 2000’s.

I know it’s not Bucko, but the letter is being carefully composed. Lots of ‘bringing your organisation into disrepute’ and ‘abuses of IT policy’, with a general seasoning of ‘misuse of IT resource’, and of course the magic word ‘actionable’. Stuff like that. HR should go into a flat spin.

I used to write IT policy documents and training manuals professionally, so although I’m a bit out of date, the general thrust should be good enough.