Nursing

06-09-2008, 08:30 PM

Hello All,
This is my first post! My daughter turned 2 in March. She is still nursing and we both enjoy it. I have noticed lately that I have been feeling a bit embarrassed (depending on the situation) about nursing my toddler. I know I should not feel this way. My family comes first and also her needs. I do not know how to overcome this feeling.
We had friends over and I explained to her that we would nurse after our play date. She had nursed at 6am, 7:30 and 9 (some days more than others) company got here about 9 and left at 11:30. from about 10ish on she wanted to nurse. I though she should be able to wait so I did not nurse her and she was so fussy. I feel bad about how I handled the situation.
Any suggestions?
Lovebug

i understand how you feel. sometimes NIP is uncomfortable b/c we are unsure of how we are perceived and how we will be judged. w/my first, the best thing i did was get around other like-minded moms who openly nursed. after practicing NIP around them, i became much more confident. do you have other friends who are nursing toddlers who can provide you w/this kind of support?

Comment

It's a shame that we have to even think about it, isn't it. I feel that way at times even with my 8m old. You certainly don't want your child to feel slighted by your refusal or embarrassed herself. I think finding kindred spirits are important. Also creative positioning might help--how sneaky is she positioned? I know a woman who nurses her 4yr old in public a lot and is rather demure at it. It appears that she is just holding her. She is also small chested and the girl is a petite little thing, so I think that helps. I think most importantly is to build up your own belief that you are doing the right thing. I wouldn't explain or apologize to anyone unless they asked politely. If someone does have a problem with it, it is rare that they would do anything. You would be educating them in a sense that extended nursing does happen!

Comment

It is very hard. I agree you can do it discreetly where it looks like you are just cuddling her. If you are really not wanting to do it around people anymore, that is okay. We all have our different comfort levels. You can always excuse yourself to another private room to have some one on one time with her. Or you can deal with cranky child if you are wanting to set limits to your nursing. It's whatever will work best for you and your situation.

Comment

I am much more upfront about toddler nursing, but I feel that if you are in your own house, then you should feel free to nurse your child of whatever age at anytime and in any place you feel necessary. Your friends and family can either accept it, or not visit. I think that the home should be a safe haven for you and your children and the basic comforts of life should not be denied within your walls. When I'm put on the spot for toddler nursing, I dicuss it in a very matter of fact way. I say that we are happy to continue nursing and I don't leave it open for discussion. I'm more than happy to provide information supporting my choice, but I choose my words carefully to make it obvious that I have made my decision and I will not be changing my mind, particularly for the comfort of someone who does not live my life.

Comment

My embarrassment has become minimal as I've realized how most people can't tell we're nursing--we ought to be good at it by now (she's 18 mos)! Most of the time, when we're nursing, people (particularly men) will look right at us and think she is just resting her head or sleeping. I have nursed her all over the country and in lots of crowded spots (like airplanes), and if anyone has noticed that she is nursing, they haven't said a word. So, I don't worry about it so much anymore. And I find that if I let her nurse right away when she asks, it's much more likely that we can keep it discreet (ie, not waiting til she starts to try to pull my shirt up and help herself).

I do prefer to wear clothes designed for nursing, particularly Glamour Mom tops or empire style and cross wrap nursing tops from Motherwear. Also, I recently got a bellysock that lets me wear whatever top I want (great for the summer weather), but keep my belly covered when my shirt is up (my preference).

Also, I have recently started telling her that I like privacy when we are in public, so I'd like it if she'd help me with this and not do things such as pull the other breast out when we're in public or lift my shirt up. She listens and helps me just like I ask.