9not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary, giving a blessing, since you were called for this, so that you may inherit a blessing.

10For theone who wants to love life

and to see good days,

let him keep his tongue from evil

and his lips from speaking deceit,

11and let him turn awayfrom evil

and do what is good.

Let him seek peaceand pursue it,

Reflection: Knowing how to confront things is key and when it comes to family conflict, it’s rarely that one party is 100% right and the other is 100% wrong. How much of the conflict am I prepared to own before I accuse the other? What if rather than accuse, I take responsibility for my contribution to the conflict? What if I consider the other person’s perspective before mine and negotiate a solution from that place?

I’ve found that statements like ‘you always’ and ‘you never’ are rarely helpful and rarely actually true. Instead, it’s better to talk about my own thoughts and feelings, to keep it brief, and not demand an immediate response.

If I’m on the receiving end of loving correction, it’s best if I adopt a posture of quietness and stillness… as hopefully I would before God, but have rarely managed as well in my human relationships. I should let the other person speak until they finish, and rather than react it would be good to take some time out so that I can respond in a much better way after taking time to process the feedback honestly.

Giving and receiving feedback well is hard and best done with a very real understanding of the other person being made equally in the image of God, and respecting that they are of infinite value and worth. I don’t mean to sound sanctimonious when I say that… I really do think it makes a difference to our interactions.

Question: Do you need to practice phrases like ‘that makes sense”, “I can see that”, and “I’m sorry”? (I know I do!)

Prayer: Dear Lord, would you help me to be a ‘responder’ before I am a ‘reactor’ please? May I truly recognise that all those I am relationship with are equally made in your image and may I afford them all the value and worth that this demands. Amen.

1 Peter 3:1-22

Wives and Husbands

1In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2when they observe your pure, reverent lives. 3Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4but rather what is inside the heart — the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.

7Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Do No Evil

8Finally, all of you be like-minded and sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionate and humble, 9not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary, giving a blessing, since you were called for this, so that you may inherit a blessing.

10For theone who wants to love life

and to see good days,

let him keep his tongue from evil

and his lips from speaking deceit,

11and let him turn awayfrom evil

and do what is good.

Let him seek peaceand pursue it,

12because the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous

and his ears are open to their prayer.

But the face of the Lord is against

those who do what is evil.

Undeserved Suffering

13Who then will harm you if you are devoted to what is good? 14But even if you should suffer for righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear themor be intimidated,15but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, ready at any time to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. 16Yet do this with gentleness and reverence, keeping a clear conscience, so that when you are accused, those who disparage your good conduct in Christ will be put to shame. 17For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.

18For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring you to God. He was put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit, 19in which he also went and made proclamation to the spirits in prison 20who in the past were disobedient, when God patiently waited in the days of Noah while the ark was being prepared. In it a few — that is, eight people — were saved through water. 21Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you (not as the removal of dirt from the body, but the pledge of a good conscience toward God) through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.