Today I got chased into work by a big, burly, and clearly-rabid White-Husky-type-of-dog. It was barking and charging and scaring me so I discarded all sense of shame and ran full-force toward my work entrance, like a horror movie race to the finish. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if it wasn't right in front of where all the smokers were having their 9 a.m. fix, so they all just watched me running by in a panic.

Sadly, this ain't the first time this has happened to me. Last time it was two ghetto-looking Dobermans who chased me down the hill toward the same work entrance and in front of the same habitual smokers. The Dobermans (or is it Dobermen?) were big and barky and mean looking and clearly didn't have good intentions for chasing me. It was rather traumatic, but I can't decide if I am more traumatized by the being chased by killer dogs or by sprinting past coworkers with a look of sheer terror on my face. At least I wasn't shrieking... that I can remember, anyway.

Speaking of big dogs, check out my coworker's sister's doggie Leroy (who is no longer with us). I've never seen anything so ginormous in my whole life. I thought the picture was fake at first, but apparently it's not:

If I saw that thing chasing me across a parking lot, I would've wet myself for sure. So I guess I can at least be grateful that didn't happen.

Why didn't they attack the smokers? I think that is the most embarassing part. It would seem that the smokers did not feel as threatened by the dogs as I did. Maybe it's just me, but snarling barking running dogs are something to avoid. Maybe they weren't as menacing as I thought they were, but they seemed dangerous enough at the time.

My boyfriend Allen used to be a substitute postal carrier, and he delivered to this old lady with a bulldog. The dog chased him off the property and all the way to the truck, so Allen used his dog repellent spray (a mild pepper spray)and wrote up an orange card for the house that said "Dangerous Dog".

The next time he went on that route, the regular carrier had crossed out his note and wrote in "OTIS has no teeth!"

Needless to say, we still give him a hard time about macing a toothless dog!

No! Dan quit. The last thing he should do is smoke. Worse scenario, he's forced to quit his job & find one in a dog-free zone. Or he could put his big girl panties on & stop running away like a scared toddler.

Oh! Zing! That hotbabe's got claws...I have to say, I would run from crazy barking dog too. But I have an even bigger no panties/toddler-ish fear.The big, huge, nasty, red-eyed pigeons that congregate outside downtown smack dab in my way on my walk to and from work.They are gigantic, and they don't move when you get close to them. In fact, they'll usually take a couple aggressive steps towards you and make a gargling, threatening noise. I can't help it - I have this crazy, irrational fear of them coming at my face. My beautiful face. So I flinch in a major way if they make any sudden moves towards me, and then have to face the mocking laughter and pitying looks from others in the park. It's worth the humiliation, though, to not catch some filthy bird disease.