November 21, 2011

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this find! It’s great to know that nobody’s going to stiff Sunnyvale for bragging rights to the most expensive residence in the entire country, so take that Yuri Milner!

Beautifully remodeled home that features high vaulted ceiling, new flooring throughout, granite countertops and dual sinks in both bathrooms, 2 fireplaces, gated community. Must see. Home is located close to downtown Sunnyvale(shopping), and Cal Trains. Centrally located, 10 minutes to Google , 7 minutes to Apple Co. Be in your dream home before Christmas!!

Here’s what Swan had to say when sending this beautifully remodeled home in:

Here’s a townhome in Sunnyvale (not even Cupertino schools) for $652,000,000! Talk about a typo (hopefully). Someone needs to go back to elementary school and learn some place value.

10 min. to Google and 7 min. to Apple. I think I see a price reduction in the near future!

Not only beautifully remodeled, the agent spelled “remodeled” correctly. You can’t ever count on that (see tomorrow’s listing for proof of that).

High vaulted ceiling: You know what that means? Right. Bank vault. This house is selling for upwards of half a billion dollars because a former Washington Mutual VP was bringing too much high-value work home.

New flooring throughout: More places to hide money! This house is going to be the best treasure hunt ever!

Granite countertops: Say no more! Granite! If you’re going to decorate like it’s 2006, you might as well pay like it’s 2006!

Dual sinks: This property will be have a water view twice as fast as a normal place would!

2 fireplaces: If you don’t make your money the old-fashioned way, you can BURN IT.

Gated community: You get a “clicker” to keep the riff-raff where they belong: in 99 percentville.

Close to downtown Sunnyvale(shopping): I’m glad they tell you what is in downtown Sunnyvale. I thought it was for watching construction projects repeatedly fail.

and Cal Trains: Whoo-whoo! I hope you like Cal Trains, because you’re going to hear every one of them!

Centrally located: Miles from a freeway no matter what direction you go. Hope you like traffic lights!

Easy to justify… you *could* buy it for the Zestimate of $764,900… but why? Everyone knows prices appreciate at around 7.2% annually, so you’ll only have to live there for a bit more than 97 years to break even!

Also, “(see tomorrow’s listing for proof of that)”. You can see tomorrow and I can see 97 years in the future. Plenty of clairvoyance on this thread (is clairvoyance the right word? It does mean outside of the normal senses, but maybe in the Bay Area everyone knows the future?)!

10 minutes to Google I can almost believe, it’s just jump on Central and over to Shoreline then up a bit and left. I think that’s how it goes. As for Apple, forget about it! Maybe if you have a “chrome box” to get through those lights (gadget that ambulances etc have that change the lights to green when they go through).

Downtown Sunnyvale is really depressing though. At least, if Tom Waits ever hits down, please drag him over to Paul & Harvey’s, it’s his kind of place. That place is a treasure – so depressing it somehow has the opposite effect.

Speaking of how long to Google this property, the Burbed listing comes up ahead of the Redfin one (at least it does for me). Trulia is the first find, then two entries from Sawbuck, then this article, then Redfin as #5.

I was disappointed that the Sawbuck page was full of useful things like photos, listing info, maps, similar listings and sales, and a link to a partner agent, instead of the worthless videos they’ve been churning out. I can’t even find the worthless video even though the Google search says it’s there.

Anyway, this means the first non-Google Maps search result incorrectly (as of now) has the old off-market price, the next two are different headings for the same page, and then our feature beats out Our Seattle Overlords.

I googled the address and burbed isn’t even on the first page. I doubt that’s what prompted the agent. Maybe they saw the blog link on Redfin, or (horrors!) checked on their listing. Better late than never.

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The posts on this weblog are provided "AS IS" with no warranties, and confer no rights. The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and only represent the view of Burbed.com's editor. Comments are the views of commenters, not Burbed. If companies, properties, etc are mentioned on this blog, you should assume that I have a financial stake in them. Trust no one.