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Where the hell has Scott been?

Junkies: “Well, young man, would you care to explain just where the hell you’ve been all this time? Have you been hiding?”

Scott: “Oh, you know, there was this thing at the Senior Center where I volunteer, then this rapist pedophile werewolf showed up at the day care center down the block, so I had to–“

Junkies: “Don’t you lie to us, young man … you’ve been working again!”

Scott: “(sigh) … yeah, I have. I’m doing 14-hour days to finish up THE MVP final draft edit so I can start recording the audiobook/podcast on June 4. Then eight days of recording that, then finish up the first draft of PANDEMIC — which, I admit, I’ve been doing research on all along. Plus, the Døg of Evil was pretty sick for a spell, and as old as she is that took some time and some thinking about what’s best for her. She’s pretty perky this morning, though.”

Junkies: “So, work … that’s why you’re not on the site, and why you aren’t doing your own podcast intro? Is that redheaded enabler helping you use again?”

Scott: “Fine! I’ll admit it! If it wasn’t for ARealGirl, I wouldn’t be able to get any of this done! Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now, Junkies?”

Junkies: “Happy? Sometimes we miss the olden days, the long-ago days, where you’d just promise us new works and then miss deadlines over and over again. You used to lie to us about delivering new stories — that’s how we knew you loved us! ARealGirl ruined it all by making you efficient!”

Scott: “How dare you call me efficient! How dare you, sirs and ma’ams! I assure you, as soon as this deadline is done, I’ll be back to playing three games of FIFA a day, surfing the web for pictures of Chocodiles, and creating fake accounts on JC Hutchinsssss‘ site to mess wtih his head.”

Junkies: “We’ve heard it all before. You’re just not the same FDØ we used to know.”

Junkies: “Liar! You’re going back to work again, aren’t you? Tell us the truth!”

Scott: “Yes, I’m going back to work. I’m sorry it has to be this way … I just can’t stop. I’m going to cut a big fat line of words and snort it back through a straw of editing. Later, Junkies — I’ll see you in a couple of weeks after I recover from this bender.”