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The Diaspora* tribute to Ilya Zhitomirskiy

In the wake of the passing this weekend of Ilya Zhitomirskiy, one of the four founders of much-hyped open-source social network Diaspora, an unsettling conversation has begun within the tech community. Zhitomirskiy‘s death, rumored to be a suicide (sources close to CNN Money have confirmed but officially the cause is unknown), has ignited what many see as a much-needed and long-awaited dialogue in the industry: the mental health repercussions of the immense pressure and scrutiny—both internal and external—that young tech founders weather in their quest for the new American Dream.

If the archetype is Mark Zuckerberg, master of the Facebook universe and wunderkind billionaire at 23, Zhitomirskiy, whose social network was called a “Facebook killer” by the New York Times in 2010, seemed on-track to follow in his footsteps. Salivating media types and venture capitalists, always hungry for the next big thing, circled. His colleagues described him a charismatic guy committed to the idea of online privacy, and even Zuckerberg bought into his vision, and was notably among the early investors of Diaspora..

Hours after, amidst mourning and honoring his life on the Y-Combinator message board Hacker News, a member speculated about whether or not the very-public experience of not living up to expectations was to blame for his death. That set off a chain of conversation that highlights just how common depression, stress and anxiety are in the pressure-cooker community of young tech entrepreneurs.

The founders of Diaspora were in a really unenviable position. They started off with a wave of national press as well as solid financial support from grassroot users. As time went on, it became increasingly clear that they would not be able to accomplish the goal they originally set out to do. They had failed. Publicly. This can be very devastating psychologically to someone who has always 'succeeded' in life.

I'm not saying this was the case for Ilya, or had any part in his death, but I know for me it would have been hard to swallow. There are many silent founders out there that gave up everything for an unrealized dream in the path to startup success and it has a real toll on psyches.

Maybe it wasn't "failure" that disturbed this man but simply the pressure to succeed. I'm someone who is succeeding in business so far but I still get bad bouts of depression and feel like a failure anyway. It's not just me either, it can be anyone.

Not just the aspect of "failing". But also mix in the tough, gruesome aspect of working 12 hours a day with little to no time for social life. And the inability for most people to understand what you're going through. And if you don't got a significant other, it makes it feels like you're all alone in this battle.