Grills That Thrill: BBQ Porn

I pride myself on being a BBQ enthusiast. However, due to a recent raccoon infestation in my Broil King, I’ve been forced to grill choice cuts of meat on a puny table top hibachi I found at a yard sale. Now, late at night, I scour the net, living vicariously through Google images by fawning over the newest, shiniest, state of the art behemoths.

Here are but a few of my favorites from people who didn’t sit idly by and settle for your run of the mill grill. Some are visionary, others perhaps a drunken epiphany, while a few I suspect were created by channeling MacGyver.

This HEMI-powered BBQ grill was commissioned for Chrysler’s “What Can You HEMI?” contest in 2005. It features a 5.7-liter V-8 HEMI engine, and can cook 240 hot dogs in 3 minutes. Not sure if it runs on propane or unleaded.

The “King of Barbecue” grill features a 160,000 B.T.U. propane burner that can bring 20 gallons of cold water to a boil in 5 min. A satellite radio, satellite television, flat screen, DVD player and DVR that are solar powered. A main chamber that can smoke up to 100 six-pound chickens. Oh yes, it’s also pimped out with 24 karat-gold rims and door handles.

Everything’s bigger in Texas: The barrel on this six shooter BBQ is 10 feet long and 8 inches in diameter. When cooking on this grill, the barrel acts as the chimney. This buns will be blazin’ on this rig which took over two tons of red oak, stainless, and carbon steel to create.

V8 engine grill complete with exhaust ports that let smoke comes out, pistons instead of knobs, and diamond plates for side tables! Optional nitrous purge system with remote control available for you Fast and the Furious freaks. As well, you can top it up with LED lights and switches for night grilling, and/or a CD/MP3 player with indoor/outdoor speakers and remote control. Why Vin Diesel isn’t endorsing these things is beyond me.

The owner of NY restaurant RUB, commissioned Orange County Chopper (You know, the dysfunctional OCC clan) to come up with an outlandish BBQ / Motorcycle hybrid.

“Guardian of the Feast” is a grill and smoker combination, one of many fabricated sculptures with amazing attention to detail which would make any Game of Thrones fan think they’ve died and gone to geek Heaven.

I suspect he is over compensating for his small wieners.

Part truck, part George Foreman Grill. This prototype has a proposed bumper fat collection reservoir (Patent Pending I’m sure) for easy disposal of all drippings coming from the engine top griddle.

S’mores, I am your Father.

Rosemary’s Baby Q: This Carriage Pit was a turn-of-the century baby carriage made in London, England but restored to its current awesomeness after being found rusting away on the side of a street in Houston Texas. The hood folds down to complete the smoker effect.

When life gives you lemons, take a cue from our good friend MacGvver and enjoy your summer filled with BBQ bliss!