Messenger Bags: Plastic packaging and old plastic bags (see! You should be saving those!) are heat-fused into a "durable, weather-resistant" material, which is then cut into street-jaunty satchels that come with all the standard bag-gage (adjustable polypropylene straps, interior pouch pockets, Velcro closures), and are printed with everything from tessellated "thank yous", to octopuses, to an old-timey television set.

Beer Cozies: Lest your beer be jealous of your computer's dapper new home, there're cozies like a wool plaid joint with hand-stitched antlers. There's also all manner of pillows, plush toys, and punk rawk-looking planters that're equal parts cool for your gf/wife and actually cool, meaning this'll be the first time she won't complain when you trash the place.