Donna Orbach and Albert Mitrani share the same goal of any family grieving a life cut too short: to remind people how special their loved ones were and to prove that their brief lives were not wasted.

The Harrisburg couple and their younger son, Adam, have turned Reuben’s initials – REM – into the cornerstone of their efforts, including the REMember Foundation and REMember Fest.

Anne Reeves

Reuben died in September 2012 while studying in Switzerland. He graduated from Harrisburg Academy and was a 2009 Davenport Fellow at The Patriot-News.

“We miss Reuben. He is a lot to miss. Now it is my job to make sure that his energy stays in the world. The REMember Foundation gives me an opportunity to do good in his name, to put love and kindness and gratitude and opportunity out into the world everyday,” Donna said.

“So many people have called me brave. I don't feel very brave. I think anybody who loses a child lives with a grief that they imagine can and will destroy them at any moment. I think we are all just as surprised as anyone else that we are still moving forward.”

On March 13, the day Reuben would have turned 22, the Mitrani family is sponsoring “Together in Song” a concert and community sing, “emphasizing harmony and teamwork through music” at the Chisuk Emuna Synagogue, 3219 Green St.

The 7:30 p.m. concert is open to the public and features Maggie Wheeler, the actress who played Janice on “Friends,” and Emile Hassan Dyer, percussionist and leader of The Golden Bridge Community Choir.

Students and staff at the Londonderry Private School and the Capital Area School for the Arts will participate in workshops earlier in the day so they can perform during concert. An adult workshop will take place from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.

The concert includes inspirational music from a variety of cultures: African, Australian, Native American and aboriginal, as well as traditional and urban beat-box styles.

“People will be delighted and surprised. If they decide to open their mouths and let their voices out, they will feel a shy, yet powerful sense of liberation!” Donna said.

“And mostly, they will feel connected to one another and in awe of the beauty and harmony that a group of strangers making noise together can create.”

Planning the events in Reuben’s memory is the easy part, Donna said. It’s having to remember at all that’s hard.

“We are a very strong unit, Albert, Adam and I. Our family grieves with us. We have an incredible group of loyal and loving friends. We have been supported by a strong community,” Donna said.

“And yet, grief is a very lonely place. Losing a child is as unimaginably awful as you might think it would be. How does a person survive? I wondered the same thing before it was me. I still wonder.

“The days go on, whether you want them to or not. You keep breathing. Against your own better judgment, the world reengages you. And all the time you are tired. Weary. It never, ever leaves. Your child is with you in a way that he never was in life. And yet you can never get enough of him.”

The Mitranis have established a scholarship in Reuben’s name at Colorado College. There are also plans for more programs and awards to honor him, covering such areas as health, fitness, grief therapy, leadership and community outreach. Pittsburgh-based rapper Mac Miller even wrote a song for Reuben called, “REMember.”

Donna said that Reuben would “probably be mortified,” by all the attention.

“Reuben hated when I made a big deal out of anything. He could never understand why people made a big deal out of the things that came naturally to him,” she said.

“He didn't believe that he should be rewarded or praised for those qualities. He never understood them as his gifts. He was an infuriating blend of cocky teenager and completely humble human being.”

Tickets for “Together in Song,” are $10, and $20 for the workshop, concert and a light dinner. For more information, email info@remember-foundation.org or call 717-648-4108.