The “Covey 7 “and the college drop off that empties your nest.

I have re and re-read the Stephen Covey book -“The 7 habits of highly effective people” and find the habits broadly applicable.

After college drop offs last week ( 2 daughters), this is my take on The “Covey 7 “and the college drop off that empties your nest.

1. Be proactive: Think ahead about what you will need (and not just the things and $$) before, during and after the drop off. By this I mean the emotional , social, mental and spiritual support you may/will need at every step of the way. Change is hard EVEN when it is good.

2. Begin with the end in mind: The process however short or long it seems will be done soon enough. Your young adult will settle in, start classes , make friends and life will go on. Soon enough they’ll be home for the holidays.

3. Put First things first: This is about them, not YOU. They worked hard to get there and are both nervous and excited about leaving home. Remembering that this is not about you helps put things in perspective.

4. Think win win: This is the next stage for the young adult and the start of the next phase for you. For them, a time of immense growth and maturity and for you, A time to reconnect with your spouse or partner in a child-free home. A time to pursue hobbies and interests with renewed vigor.

5. Seek first to understand then be understood: Be patient with your young adult as the fluctuating emotions and oscillating moods kick in. This will happen as they process the new way things will be. Once they know that you “get” how they feel, they are more likely to want to “get” how you feel.

6. Synergize :take all the hugs and prayers you can get. Find other empty nesters and unite. Share tips on things that helped you as you transitioned to this new phase.