Ask Zahzah 2 – Absent-minded in Class

I graduated from college recently with a B.A. in Business Administration. I have one question related to a term I keep hearing about: what is the meaning of P&L?

Sent by: Distracted in Class

I understand your predicament.

P&L is one of those elusive phrases often heard and thrown around casually in corporate corners everywhere.

P&L can mean different things depending on where you stand, sit, lie down or hang on the corporate ladder.

What follows is a helpful reference list intended to explain the different meanings of P&L:

If you are busting your ass daily in the shitty annals of faint power in lower to mid management corporate levels – P&L means Pressure and Labor.

If you are a female employee who is trying to climb the corporate ladder via plastic surgery – it means Pluck and Lift.

If you suffer from permanent insatiable hunger – it means Pizza and Linguini.

If you are an aspiring ass-kisser, sneaky-back-stabber, or a malicious eavesdropper – it means Please and Lick.

If you are involved in the fragrance industry – it means Patchouli & Lavender.

If you are a conniving opportunist, a scheming social climber or a certified corporate/industrial/media bitch – it means Plot and Lure.

If you are an obsessive, demanding and a control freak with an overbearing style – it means Pushy and Loud.

If you are a fashion obsessed, style-driven, brand-crazy, consumer-slave, sales-addict, clothes-freak, mad-collector, closet-filler, and a relentless shopper – it means Prada and Levi’s.

If you are a heart-bleeding, tree-hugging, new-age-music-loving liberal, Obama-campaign-volunteer, Carter/McGovern era nostalgic citizen or an Amnesty-International supporter – it means Peace and Love.