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Odds and Ends, Hockey and Letters

I am tremendously moved by how many of you have been motivated to help Jack and his Cheetahs team, either through donating money to the Cheetah-Thon (thank you, Kate, Michal, Paula, Susan, and my MOM!), leaving comments of love and support (too many to mention), or stepping up in other, also incredible ways (I’m looking at you, Pucks and Puzzle Pieces), I have been humbled and made so grateful.

Thank you to everyone who shared links and spread our message farther (up to and including Puck Daddy and the Montgomery Youth Hockey Association). Also, thanks to all of you who Facebook shared and tweeted and generally made me a very happy person. You are rock stars, all of you.

Here is the part of the post where I give you NEW! FRESH! EXCITING! content.

I am so amused when my kids in different grades are working on the same thing at the same time. Last week, both Quinn and Jack were finding adjectives in reading passages, albeit of slightly different levels of difficulty.

I won’t subject you to grammar homework (although as a former copy editor, *I* find it fascinating), but I will give you the friendly letters to characters in books that both Quinn and Sam had to write. I LOVE this stuff.

First up is exhibit A in “If Sam is ever a judge and you are ever on trial for stealing a loaf of bread, you want this bleeding heart motherfucker on your side.”

Click to embiggen; text below.

[Text: Dear Phillip and Hannah Hoose, My name is Sam and I just finished reading Hey, Little Ant and think the ant shouldn’t be squashed. I say this because if the kid were the ant, he wouldn’t want to be squashed. Other ants need him because he brings food for baby ants. Also ants have to eat. They can’t grow vegetables or fruit or kill animals so they aren’t crooks. As a result they have to steal food. Ants have lives and it’s not nice to squish them. Ants also have feelings, like people. This is why the ant shouldn’t be squished. Sincerely, Sam.]

As far as I can tell from the story, someone squished ants. And Sam wrote a one-page essay on why those assholes shouldn’t have done so. WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE BABY ANTS?! Come on, people, ants can’t farm. What are they supposed to do? (Hey, remember the ant farm?)

I also enjoy that the teacher wrote, “Stealing food really is a reason to squish the ant, but you do a good job of explaining why.” Trust me, you don’t want that lady to be your judge.

I’m so happy. I’m raising a liberal!

Quinn’s letter is more of an advice-bearing missive that ends with a sentence I think we can ALL agree on, regardless of our political leanings.

Click to embiggen; text below.

[Text: Dear Peter, You must listen to your mom. Do not make mischief. Do not go to Mr. McGregor’s garden. Do not take the trail that leads to Mr. McGregor’s house. Next time pick berries with your sisters. We don’t want to be a pie like your dad. Sincerely, Quinn]

Poor Peter’s dad.

I am imagining Quinn reading the story of Peter Rabbit, eyes widening larger and larger in horror as Peter hops down the bunny trail to pie-dom. Quinn leads an emotional inner life. I’m sure he was very relieved when Peter returned safely home.

*****

It is Day One of spring break, so I am off to figure out exactly what I am going to do with these kids for the next week and a half. You may see us at the American History Museum today. Cross your fingers that we don’t end up in a pie.

22 thoughts on “Odds and Ends, Hockey and Letters”

Thanks for the link love. As I mentioned to you, but now want to tell your readership — it is the very least I can do. I am paying it forward by paying back a sport that has given me so much. A passion, a career, and now a bond with my son that I didn’t always think I’d get to have.

I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. Thank you for sharing glimpses into your young writer’s minds! As for spring break I’m trying denial, today was my boys last day of school. I can’t begin to figure out what to do with them. Too bad we’re on the west coast or I’d join you.

I love those letters! A. brought home an essay yesterday about how to make a guinea pig like you. It was a 5 prong approach involving carrots, fancy clothes, a mansion, a limo and a movie theater that screens guinea pig movies. I really wonder what the teacher’s directions were for the assignment.

At first, from your exhibit A, I thought Sam’s class read Les Miserables. :)Also, he is already using the proper tense – ‘if the kid were the ant’ rather than [incorrectly] ‘if the kid was the ant’. That’s pretty advanced, right?

Be sure to keep Quinn’s essay, too – those first two sentences might be helpful someday.

I haven’t had the chance to comment in a while. Loved the hockey updates.

Those are some awesome essays up there.

We are on day 3 of spring break. Ours started last Thursday. We’ve had lots of lovely moments but I can tell I’m going to have to come up with some kind of field trip tomorrow. We are all starting to get on each other’s nerves and need some kind of distraction. Too bad we still have another whole 8 days to go.

Stimey believes rodents are funny, autism may be different than you think, and that if you have a choice between laughing and crying, you should always try to laugh—although sometimes you may have to do both.