PIRATE RIKER: So he tried to steal your girl, and then he joined the Maquis? Gee, no wonder you're upset having me here.
...But hey, was he rocking an eyepatch like this? Huh? Huh?

UHURA: RJ, why are you posing so uncomfortably?
BLAISE: Because my suit is half-topless and that guy over there keeps drawing us!
UHURA: That's what you get for replicating fashions from a 200-year-old Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue!

In honor of the thread title (and having more time to think about them), here's an alternate batch:

UHURA: Go on, lie down already.
BLAISE: No, I'd rather not get grass in my cleavage.
UHURA: Well, you're the one who forgot to bring beach towels!

SPOCK: Ahh, yes, this is clearly an original Tom Sutton abstract. I recognize his brushstrokes.
MIRROR SPOCK: Illogical. You are a science officer, yet you are also an expert in art, music, the history of the American West, and the Fabrini language? Where did you get the time or inclination to study these things?
FRED FREIBERGER (offscreen): Shut up and read the script, beardy!

CAPTION: The landing party hunches over uncomfortably, unable to stand up straight due to the oppressive, self-referential text caption looming overhead!
McCOY: Jim, we have to get out of here! I'm a surgeon, not a chiropractor!
KIRK: This way! I see a taller panel on the next page!

The Council of Rikers has spoken! Beardless Riker, you're on dramatic posing duty. Imzadi Riker, you're on the womanizing shift. Rhythmic Riker, you'll play the trombone. Solemn Riker...continue what you're doing".

The Outrageous Okona: So after encountering the Enterprise, I decided to grow a beard like you and join Starfleet. With my extensive background in freighters, they immediately promoted me to Commander. And Admiral Akaar is very excited about my new uniform design.

Alt-Riker: Now, Bill - I may call you Bill, right? - the thing to remember is to NEVER TAKE OFF THE PATCH! The ladies love it. Especially when they find out where I keep the SECOND ONE...

Scared by the sight of Hitlersphinx, Kirk and his team decide to run away, followed by glowing space jelly.
McCoy: DAMN IT, Jim! I've run out of steroids.
Kirk: No worries, Bones. I've still got my GIANT LEFT HAND to defend us!

Eyepatch Riker: "Command is all about image, man. Your tight-waisted officer thing doesn't work for ya, man. I mean, it might have worked for Johnny Luck, but not you, bro. Look at what I'm wearing, dude. I'm like a cross between Dash Rendar, MacGyver, and Nick Fury. Who's gonna want a phaser to the face from that?"

RJ: "Are those... tassels?"

Spock: "As you made a query earlier, we have provided extensive calculations and visual aid. In short-"

Mirror Spock: "In short, this diagram explains in great detail, why we cannot have nice things."