Finding joy within life's journeys

Archive for April, 2011

While I was sitting shiva (mourning during the first week following a funeral) for my mother, my sister-in-law Eudice and I went to the grocery store. I know I wasn’t supposed to leave the shiva house, but I did. When have I ever followed rules?

The grocery store was a great place to run away to. While it was nothing special; it was a moment to get away from everyone, a moment to breathe.

As Eudice and I were walking out of the grocery store, one of us mentioned something about my mother’s craziness; she really was a nut case. As soon as we opened our mouths to speak about this, a robin started darting towards us. It was surreal. I had never seen a robin fly into my space.

This experience began a year-long period of time where there was often a robin by my side. The robin joined me when I walked the dogs and when I strolled; wherever I was so was a robin. As the year progressed, I found it uncanny that my dogs that were always hunting birds ignored the robin. The dogs would share their space with a small robin and they would fail to bark or open their mouths wide for a nibble. Fascinating!

Well nearly 20 years since I saw the last robin join my every step, I now have a new robin joining my many journeys. Who knows how longs she will hang out with me. And again, I am finding it uncanny that my dogs don’t seem to mind having a robin follow us around.

Perhaps I will start calling her Mira; which we believe is my mother’s Hebrew name. Either way, it is interesting to have Marilyn’s company. I wonder why she has come back into my life now. Does she have something to share? Does she want me to know something that I wouldn’t realize without her presence in my life? Or do I need her protection?

As a child and a young woman, I was never safe in her presence, but somehow now I am finding her comforting. Maybe after 21 years, I am finding my way to heal.