Hello there, I’m James. And my lips are that pretty, yes. I hope you’re well. I was well..

As part of this site, I do a podcast on it called ‘Chats (for you)‘. In this podcast, I chat to people I like. Mark Watson, Adam Buxton, Paul Foot, Beardyman and many more. I very much enjoy doing these chats. I’m 21 years old, and feel that even at this annoyingly young age, I have chatted enough for a.. 22 year old or something.

Recently, I received a request to stop my chatting. Someone no longer wants me to talk to people, on-record, and possibly even off-record, when not being recorded. They might just be THAT evil. Now who is this person? An elderly man from Spain? An elderly woman from Spain?

No, this person, as far as I know, is under 30 and is not Spanish. It’s a fellow chatter. This guy is a professional chatter, even. He goes by the name of ‘Matt Edmondson’ and can often be heard on BBC Radio 1.

Matt is clearly feeling the pressure, and has requested that I no longer chat to people. I’ll be honest, I was quite taken aback when I first heard the audio. Sure, he’s very nice when it comes to talking about my chats, but still.. You’d think that someone of his success would be supportive to any and all up-and-coming chatters, but clearly not. He’d much rather stand atop his mountain of chat, throwing barrels down at any wannabe chatters hoping to reach the summit. It’s only recently that I’ve put together that he is quite clearly, the Donkey Kong of Radio 1.

Here is the audio.

For the record, I’ll never stop chatting. Unless it’s like a health issue, or I want to be quiet for a bit.

Whenever we’re not busy.. I’ll rephrase that. Whenever you’re not busy, I suggest a chat-off. We’ll chat at each other until a winner is declared. I don’t know who decides the victor, but I’ll do what I usually do when I can’t think of a person, and just suggest an elderly spanish citizen again.

Anyway..

How are you? What’s that you’ve got there? Best pasta, guys? That’s me taunting Matt with some premium chat. Still going, mate. Still going.

Thank you. This is now a ‘chat feud’. Goodbye.

(Matt is on Twitter if you feel the need to disagree with him strongly: @mattedmondson)