Sunday, September 16, 2012

1106. My favorite part about this one is the alt-text, where Randy implies that "focusing on one thing to the detriment of all others" is the same thing as having ADD. Go fuck yourself, Randy. F1107. The Tweet in the alt-text is longer than 140 characters. The service described is also indescribably sad. The joke is also pathetically unfunny. D-

I find it amusing that Randy of all people finds it annoying when people asp out over misusing "literally." He pulls that shit all the time and thinks it's so hysterical that he writes a comic about it.

Why would you have things going off in your refrigerator when you don't even cook? Maybe I just don't understand the shopping habits of people who don't know how to look after themselves, but everything in my refrigerator is either milk or destined to be part of a cooked meal.

Why don't we make this blog about Islam? I'm jealous that some shitty film maker was able to incense so many people while the xkcd fans don't even care about us anymore. I want to piss people off again.

Occam's Razor is not capable of determining probability. It is a heuristic that dictates best practice when establishing the precedence of competing hypotheses. It concretely determines nothing, really.

@9:11: I don't see how saving us the trouble of postulating a "deity" -- whatever is meant by that -- goes against Occam's razor. Quite the contrary if you ask me. I'm skipping an unnecessary intermediate step.

As Anon@5:36, I just wanted to thank Rob for the initial invitation. If there were a Z(ealotry) parameter, I think Internet Atheism would have a Z at least one order of magnitude higher than Christianity.

It has occurred to me of late that any god with even a smattering of omnisciency is not remotely interested in chancing his or her hand at even the most popular games involving dice. Not only is God not a supporter of quantum theory and its seeming randomness, but evidently, not to keen on the dice driven role playing games of the 80s either. In particular, I refer to Gods astounding lack of interest in the exciting (although somewhat stigmatized) game - Dungeons and Dragons. Surely this is a missed opportunity on the behalf of the gods to learn effective ways of convincing man of their existence?Dungeons and Dragons has developed the perfect formula for eradicating in-game atheism - bestow significant powers on the player character who chose to play as clerics. In fact, to my knowledge a D&D game never arose in which a skeptical foe voiced doubt as to the existence of a high level clerics deity. That unbeliever was simply destroyed in a vengeful pillar of holy fire and his charred body plundered for gold.What an exciting explosion in the ordained numbers there would be if deities began bestowing actual powers on their spokesmen. The local minister could maybe be capable of minor miracles, ie he should be able to perform the equivalent of a holy "bruise-be-gone" prayer or "open-locked-rectory-door-if-keys-are-lost" . The pope on the other hand should be granted some really serious powers. he by right should be able to call up the holy spirit for several minutes to terrify whole nations a la the Staypuff Marshmallow Man.I can only imagine that atheism in the real world would vaporize overnight if during a routine service the addressing cleric, in a moment of rage, called forth a torrent of briny death to smite those members of the congregation whose charity was deemed insufficient following the passing of the contributions plate. Thats just good religion.

poor Rob. the Sisyphean task of reviewing this shitey webcomic. every time you publish a review there's already a new xkcd sitting there like a pile of shite that someone has sculpted into the shape of a malevolent toad, going, hah. you can never be up to date.

the fridge thing is fucking stupid. are those conveyor belts? but then they'd have to move the stuff upwards. wouldn't it make more sense for things to move downwards towards the 'bad' section. there. I have spent more time thinking about this than Munroe did, and he's probably made more selling t-shirts while I've typed this than i will earn today.

If I may be so bold, maybe the fridge has multiple conveyors that move at different speeds, so you'd put something with a shelf-life of 2 weeks on the bottom conveyor, and at the end of 2 weeks it just reaches the edge of the conveyor and drops off?

But anyway, it still is stupid; everyone knows that vegetables, which keep for days at most, should be put in the bottom section (i.e. the crisper), not the top.

Come now, 3:56, Randall has never cooked. He is like my retired uncle's partner, who - faced with an illness in the family - had to confess that she did not know how to switch on the stove in her own home. Except at least she was an accomplished academic who excelled in her albeit narrow field, whereas Randall is a useless (TV dinner) eater.

Also the thing with shortest shelf life, milk, would be placed by me in the only location which doesn't have a conveyor.

Oh my god. An ideal refrigerator is essentially a perfect engine run backwards, which can't exist because it violates the second law of thermodynamics which states that you can't have any perfect transfer of energy without some being converted into heat. So Randall saying that his "Ideal Refrigerator" is one that dumps the bad food out automatically is just a play one the definition of the term in physics. Its actually a really clever comic if you have a basic understanding of the concepts involved. Just like most of Randall's comics.

I wonder, do you feel cool now that you've basically told us "I have no understanding whatsoever of basic humor"? Not saying it's the funniest thing in the world (pretty sure I found the comic bad), but denying that these two lines (especially the last one) rely on well-known humoristic devices is just mind-blowingly stupid.

I don't get why PPD should always be bad for one thing. If something adds to the hilarity in a hilariously hilarious way, then what's the problem with it exactly. I think it's just one of these things xkcdsucks people like seeing actually, because they can recognize it. It's like one of the few words you can decipher when you start learning how to read. "Hmmm? Isn't that...

A POST PUNCHLINE DIALOGUE???"

Yup! Yup, haha, you really did see it! Good boy! :D But has it ever occured to you that some people might actually find it, y'know, funny? As in, "it was already pretty good as is, but this just tops it off"? Or are you some kind of NO EXTRA LAUGH!! nazi?

I challenge you to write a lovely comment that does not expressly depend on the extreme use of that inane linguistic device known as the 'adverb-i-shat-out-just-now' for once in your fuckingly bathetic life.

a pre-Moffat ALTF, you stink-draped sphincterhog, is a term to describe an ALTF existing in the time preceding Steven Moffat taking over Doctor Who, coined for no reason but that its author felt he was being quirky and cute by implying a causal relationship.

My educated guess is that it was alluding to Doctor Who. The current writer, Steven Moffat, writes dark episodes which all use the same plot and character devices, contrasting with the more upbeat and varied Russell T. Davies.

tl;dr 7:13 is saying that you are getting kinda repetitive and have probably lost your joie de vivre.

But it may just be that we have seen enough of the Empress to know that she is completely naked.

1934 J. O'Hara Appointment in Samarra iv. 102 There were certain sad birds among the girls... But it was also understood by every hostess that a popular, attractive young man should not be designated the escort of any but popular, attractive girls.

1938 I. Edman Philosopher's Holiday 97 If you go in for that kind of thing, they think you're rather sad... Sad is..the opposite of tops.

1989 ‘G. Naylor’ Red Dwarf 232 Do you really think I'm the sort of pathetic, sad, weasly kind of person who could get erotically aroused by looking at paintings of matronly breasts?

1994 Guardian 9 Aug. ii. 12/4 They find that they are communicating with the kind of sad anorak-wearers they would never have encountered in real life.

2001 Herald (Glasgow) (Nexis) 17 Mar. 62, I love rummaging, and used to list jumble sales as one of my hobbies. (Sad I know.)

clearly your capacity for nuance is on par with that of a lobotomized gerbil. the sadness inspired in the observer implies, but is not equivalent to, the inadequacy or unfashionableness of what or who they are examining. when we say something (say, your reading comprehension) is sad, we mean that it makes us sad i.e. the adjective sad applies to us. its cause is insadequacy, unfashionableness, or the raging fuckstickery of idiots, as the case may be. this is why sad is both an emotive and (loosely) evaluative adjective in the contexts described.

What a bunch of bullshit, Anon@8:06. When I say "you're sad", I don't mean that you make me sad - I mean that you're lame. If anything, I'm happier in the knowledge that I could potentially suck as hard as you do but don't.

Anyway, "sad" likely comes from Latin satis, conveying satisfaction or enough-ness long before it carried an emotional sense. If you want to play the "it conveys the observer's state" card then a "sad" person is someone, like you, of which I have had enough.

I am looking forward to using the words "hot" and "cool" in the teenage sense so you can tell me how hotness/coolness are respectively "inspired in the observer". I anticipate that you will cite Grease in that witnessing "cool" gives you "chills" which are "multiplying". Tell me about it, stud.

".....yes he did you assmunching cumbucket. "X is sad" contains the use of the predicative adjective "sad"....."

Fuck off it does!We are talking about plain, unvarnished attributive adjectives here. Those fucking predicative adjective are a special case and their use is tantamount to having anal sex with a badger.

frankly, i'm not sure why you had to pontificate on emotive and non-emotive adjectives if anything approaching linguistic complexity terrifies you.

the fact that you need me to explain this to you is sad (hint: it actually isn't, it is pathetic and is making me sad). i am describing an emotion and an implicit value judgement here. when you say something is cool you literally mean just that. the adjective cool applies to the object.

While "sad" in the "lame" sense appeared occasionally in late C19, it was popularised by cartoon "Sad Sack" bowdlerising military slang "sad sack of shit". This term refers to ineptitude, i.e. unsatisfying performance, and not sadness - "sad sack of shit" hardly evokes pathos, now, does it?

"I am cool but you are sad - both value judgements, or am I objectively cool?"

i suspect you do not possess the wherewithal to understand what i have been belaboring for several comments now but here is a last try.

both are in fact value judgements, so you are correct there, but one is only implicitly so. when you say i am sad, you mean i make you sad, which is an emotive adjective as it applies to you, as well as an implicit value judgement of me, making it both an emotive and an evaluative adjective. the adjectives cool, big, uncouth etc. are descriptive and/or evaluative, since they do not describe an emotion.

an emotive adjective is intended to describe an emotion provoked by something, regardless of what the copula is linking it to or what it is next to in attributive form. i do not even know why i wasted this much fucking time expounding on this but i hope you finally get it.

You've said this at least eighty times. It is simply bullshit. You are not Propaganda Minister Herr Dr. Paul Joseph Goebbels. Saying it enough times won't make it true. The etymology of "sad" in the general and specific cases has been covered above.

> and an evaluative adjective

It's only this.

> i do not even know why i wasted this much fucking time expounding on this

Because you know you're wrong and are just trying to convince yourself.

9:38, read Anon@9:07 and try again. And Saussure didn't "drop the diachronic approach" - that would be entirely retarded.

Let's summarise what went on here: you had an idea about a word which seemed clever when you conjured it up; evidence was offered for why you were wrong, starting with a nudge in the right direction and becoming an explicit refutation; you, fearing a loss of Internet manpoints, are unable to back down and admit that you failed.

ALTF, meanwhile, nudged her head in from time to time, as women are wont to do - but fell at the second hurdle, as women are wont to do. She now jeers from the sidelines.

You reminded me of my mother many weeks ago, I think? Something to do with boat engine nomenclature.

It is The Beautiful South's 36D video. There is a man dressed as a female cinema attendant carrying a tray of food and standing at the entrance to a rugby locker room. The singer sits on the benches and sings about how she is just another 365 night stand. I feel like an audio description service now.

My computer, or more correctly, the computer with which I use to connect to the Internet, has no audio driver, no keyboard and is connected to said Internet via an antiquated Dial-Up Telephone line.When I leave this advanced part of the world in which I have found myself o'er these last few months, I will not have any access to the Internet at all. If you should miss my tearful goodbyes in a few weeks time, you will know I am gone because I will be gone!

@3:22: I didn't know "Danth's Law", but it sounds like it's formulated vacuously. If you have to state that you've won, it means you've otherwise lost - but if you merely choose to, it could be because you want everyone to STFU and move on.

And "maid knelt to Ed". Either the Prince or the guy who typically rational Tories equate with Stalin. In fact, imagine Red Ed receiving a blowjob from Kate. Think about it now. Think about his orgasm face. You're picturing it, aren't you?

Aquarian's a Asian Cunt: she's called the Tutor's Whore--For he's the master Ladies' man who can defy the Law.He's the bafflement of Interpol, the FBI's despair:For when they reach the scene of crime--her Tutor's never there!

The Brits decided they wanted their language to reflect the glory that was Greece and the grandeur that was Rome. Accordingly, they adopted the Latin restriction of ending a sentence with a preposition so they could claim their Empire was the logical extension of the march of Civilisation.What the fuckers forgot though was that English is not a Latin-based - aka 'Romance' - language but a Germanic one. The Germanic language family has no restriction on ending a sentence with a preposition.So go ahead then, accept your innate Germanic krautness and end your fecking sentences in prepositions like a good Hun. See if I fuck you.

Oh yes, I can't wait to have this fine addition to my 840GB collection, so please send it quickly for I'm getting so bored that I even grow tempted to pay one of those break-the-15-minutes-time-limit-for-client-and-you-shall-be-beaten-and-yelled-at prostitutes to piss on my mouth.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

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