Season 3 of “The Walking Dead” just wrapped up. And with all due respect to very good shows like “Game of Thrones” and “Breaking Bad,” TWD is not only the best drama on TV by a long, long way, this past year is in the conversation for the best season any show has ever had. Right from the cliffhangers at the end of last year when they showed us the prison and we got a look at the mysterious new chick with the ketani sword and the pet zombies on leashes, it never let up for a minute. Major characters got introduced, key players died, old characters we hadn’t seen since the first couple of episodes came back. A baby was born in an episode that gave everyone who saw it Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. And in a couple of others they even almost showed boobs. It was so good that “The Talking Dead,” a show on basic cable where they talk about the actual show, had higher ratings than the entire NBC lineup for February. That’s how good it was.

So I couldn’t let the best show on television call it a summer without honoring the best way I can. By comparing them to that other great institution I care about: Boston sports. If the people in “TWD” were Boston sports figures, they’d be:

Carl Grimes: Dustin Pedroia

Carl and Pedroia are both undersized, kind of annoying and for the first couple of weeks of their careers were underestimated by almost everyone. That’s about how long it took them to prove they are total badasses and not at all to be messed with and they’ve been destroying everyone and everything that’s messed with them ever since.

Tyreese: Vince Wilfork

Strong, soft spoken quiet leaders universally respected by friends and foes. And who will not hesitate to shove a sharp object through your eye if you get in their way.

Glenn: Daniel Paille

Neither guy seemed all that impressive at first. Glenn was basically a post-apocalyptic Short Round and Paille was a washout who came from Buffalo for a couple of low draft picks. Both stepped up their games, proved they were tough, could be counted on in big moments and became huge with the fans. And like every Bruins player, Glenn is getting the hottest women on the planet.

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Michonne: Kevin Garnett

Michonne and KG are both brooding, super-intense and most of all, lethal. They also give maximum effort every night and put the team ahead of themselves. And will sacrifice anything and anyone in order to succeed. Whether it’s cut the arms and jaw off of someone to trick zombies or telling Ray Allen to go piss up a rope, winning comes first.

Merle Dixon: Rob Gronkowski

I’ll admit this is kind of a stretch. Merle is a sadistic, abusive racist and Gronk is a fun-loving hard-partying buffoon. But they’re both tough as nails, virtually unstoppable and great to their brothers. And both of their seasons ended with them sacrificing themselves to help the team. Mostly though this works because I watched Gronk play an entire NFL game one-handed.

Daryl Dixon: Shawn Thornton

Both are soft-spoken, but pure badass. The guys who’ll do whatever it takes to protect the rest of the group. Daryl says about as many words as Thornton plays minutes, but they kick so much ass they’re absolute fan favorites.

Rick Grimes: Bill Belichick

The strong, quiet leader who keeps the whole bunch thriving in a hostile world. But he makes it clear things are gonna be done his way. He’ll listen to advice, but all the final decisions are his. If you want to make it, what he says goes and don’t question him. He’s not a running a democracy. It’s a Ricktatorship. Or a Belitocracy. They also both have their sons along as sidekicks.

Herschel: Mr. Kraft

The kindly, respected, wise old family man. He took in the Alpha Male and his people when no one else would, gave him a place to stay, protected him, and had the moral courage to let him be in charge and lead the group his own way.

Milton: John Henry

A nebbishy, socially awkward analytical type who lacks the stomach for the dirty work that needs to be done in order to survive. Instead he leaves the rough stuff for the evil despot he lets run the place.

The Governor: Larry Lucchino

There is no doubt in my mind Larry has a secret room behind his office where he keeps aquariums filled with heads.

Top 2 Comments

I am 100% convinced this entire blog was concocted to point out that Larry Luchino is comparable to the governor.

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by tbd3 on April 2, 2013 at 7:33 pm

TWD doesn't suck because it's too slow, it sucks because it is terribly written and horribly acted. The best character development they've done (Carl turning from a bitch to a badass) happened OFF CAMERA and between seasons. They didn't show his development, it just happened. Daryl is now the only likable character and the only one with any nuance. This entire season was a build-up to a showdown between Rick and the Governor that never happened. Oh, and you're telling me these people are going to trust one guy's word and never search for a cure? And they aren't the least bit curious as to what caused a worldwide zombie plague? Please. By the way, where the fuck did the Governor go? How was he not back at Woodbury by nightfall? And the scenes with Milton and Andrea may have been the most painful in television history. Just grating. Why the fuck would Andrea dramatically pause fifty times and how did she break through handcuffs with those pliers? I was a big fan of this show, but I'm very close to giving up on it at this point.

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by groupthought on April 2, 2013 at 7:08 pm

I've seen all of season 3, and I can assure you that literally nothing happened all season.

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by ryanq5 on April 2, 2013 at 3:08 pm

"And both of their seasons ended with them sacrificing themselves to help the team."..yeah because Gronk's injury helped them go on to win the AFC Championship and then the Superbowl...right? Dumbass

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by hail2daredskinz on April 2, 2013 at 1:37 pm

walking dead better than game of thrones and breaking bad? season 3 one of the best seasons ever? april fools was yesterday bro.

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by bish727 on April 2, 2013 at 1:31 pm

Walking Dead is entertaining, but its nowhere near the level of Breaking Bad or GoT. And to say this season was the best season of TV ever its just trolling. A few seasons of The Wire, LOST season 2, a few seasons of Sopranos (just to name a few in recent memory) all blow WD out of the water.

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by dempsi1126 on April 2, 2013 at 1:29 pm

Guys I think he's joking about the whole being better thing... relax

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by cornballbrother on April 2, 2013 at 1:06 pm

Why the fuck who u pick a white for Glenn?? We all know all asians look alike ..couldve picked Jeremy Lin or something

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by cantgetthestinkout on April 2, 2013 at 12:46 pm

@Presmoobs They had the same conversation every week? The only conversation had during season 3 was, "should we stay or leave?" What about Michone? Lori dying during child birth? Carl murdering a kid who was handing his gun over? Rick sawing Hershel's leg off to save him? Merle's showdown with The Governor? The showdown with the prisoners they discovered? The list goes on and on. Try not staring out the window during the show. You're missing a ton of shit.

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by k1dd0 on April 2, 2013 at 12:40 pm

P.S. saying Walking dead is better than GoT is bold, saying its better then breaking bad should get you sent straight to the fucking loony bin

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by k1dd0 on April 2, 2013 at 12:39 pm

everything is pretty spot on except Michonne and Garnett comparison is off. Michonne isn't a pussy so there's really no correlation. Now if she stood behind Rick and Darrel and yelled a lot at the zombies and then eventually walked away, they'd be almost identical.

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by on April 2, 2013 at 12:28 pm

not even close. Walking Dead is middle of the pack at best. The acting is some of the worst i've ever seen on a hit show. Talking Dead is pointless. What complexities are there to talk about? If any show needed a wrap up show, it was Lost, 1000%.

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by mattyd929 on April 2, 2013 at 12:21 pm

@sir swish I'm assuming he meant the second sentence, which says Walking Dead is way better than Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad and the best show on TV by far. Which I don't think even Walking Dead fans believe.

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by kingpin on April 2, 2013 at 12:16 pm

Tyrion Lannister, would mock you for such a geeky blog. WD vs. GOT not even close.

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by sir-swish on April 2, 2013 at 12:15 pm

The first sentence was "Season 3 of the walking dead just wrapped up." That should get Jerry fired?

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by mattyd929 on April 2, 2013 at 12:14 pm

Gotta just be trolling with that second sentence. Walking Dead is good but it can't hold a candle to Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones. Fact not opinion.

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by crunchface on April 2, 2013 at 12:12 pm

Walking dead is an awesome show up there with the best but I don't know one person that liked the last 4 or 5 episodes of this season. Except for you Jerry.

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by mr-poon on April 2, 2013 at 12:08 pm

Walking Dead isn't even close to as good as Shameless, and Homeland, let alone Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad. You're a lot dumber than I thought.

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by andersmb on April 2, 2013 at 12:06 pm

@aphin..thats because the whole story is based on the comics, in which the governor is a really sadistic fucking lunatic..it's tough to get that across on television, even if it is on cable, AMC is no HBO

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by presmoobs on April 2, 2013 at 12:05 pm

@ cant get No, people wouldn't so much if it wasen't the same fucking conversation for 44 minutes, the entire season.

Season 2: whats up with that barn?
Season 3: hey, you guys think we should fight or leave?

Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad are both Character driven too, which rely heavily on dialog over action for the most part, but the difference is the characters (aside from joffrey) aren't whiney, boring, uninteresting cunts and the story moves along.

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by on April 2, 2013 at 12:00 pm

Thornton, you're incorrect. The best show on TV is "Southland."

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by hso1o16 on April 2, 2013 at 12:00 pm

Someone bring this old dog out back and put him out of his misery... He writes the same boring masshole shit.

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by on April 2, 2013 at 11:57 am

Jerry sucks

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by cantgetthestinkout on April 2, 2013 at 11:56 am

The fact that people are bitching about The Walking Dead because it moves too slowly are definitive proof that America, as a society, now has the attention span of Honey Boo Boo after nine Mountain Dews. If it doesn't provide instant gratification then it obviously blows. If the show just consisted of Rick shooting zombies with his revolver for 45 minutes then the show wouldn't have lasted more than one season. Everyone needs to take their meds and relax a little.
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PS- The Walking Dead isn't even in the same time zone as Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones.

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by blark161 on April 2, 2013 at 11:53 am

im not gonna hate on the walking dead, but i will hate on this blog

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by sir-swish on April 2, 2013 at 11:52 am

@philthy you mean the 2nd sentence, right?

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by presmoobs on April 2, 2013 at 11:51 am

@brick yea, at this point zombies are a fucking mild inconvenience at best. Seems like if everyone would stop killing each other for a second, they could restart society pretty easily.

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by brickkilledaguy on April 2, 2013 at 11:48 am

finale sucked, carls a little bitch and glad andrea is dead. show is so slow and boring - half an episode is commercials too. the fkn zombies never win anymore. its like jericho now - terrible.

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by bostonwhereretardsflourish on April 2, 2013 at 11:47 am

Jerry continues to be the worst person on the planet by proclaiming walking dead to not only be "Good" but better than Breaking Bad and GOT.

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by buckwheat on April 2, 2013 at 11:47 am

rub one out to jenny dell http://jennydell.net/jenny-dell-pics/

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by dickcluck on April 2, 2013 at 11:44 am

When the fuck did this start applying to Danny Paille? "Both stepped up their games, proved they were tough, could be counted on in big moments and became huge with the fans"

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by gouldy on April 2, 2013 at 11:39 am

how old is that thorton pic

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by crabjuice23 on April 2, 2013 at 11:39 am

If the people from "Life Goes On" were Barstool bloggers you would be Corky

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by letsjustsnuggle6969 on April 2, 2013 at 11:38 am

Carl is fuckin gay as hell

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by on April 2, 2013 at 11:35 am

Tyrese will always be Cutty.

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by kramerica-industries on April 2, 2013 at 11:34 am

It wouldn't be a Jerry blog if it didn't mention Belichick. You are such a ball washer it makes me sick

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by elbaldspot on April 2, 2013 at 11:32 am

Jerry please go away and stay away a little bit longer.

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by stoolaw on April 2, 2013 at 11:27 am

Long way to go just to use the Lucchino photo again.

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by aphin715 on April 2, 2013 at 11:27 am

You must be trolling... The walking dead is better than Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones??? What are you fucking nuts? This season has been god awful and every character is annoying as shit....The governor is too much of a jackass it doesn't make sense... Like bro, chill the fuck off and kill zombies not humans...

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by tommypickles on April 2, 2013 at 11:24 am

Gotta find some way to talk about the Patriots! Good Job Jerry!

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by paulorndorf on April 2, 2013 at 11:23 am

if barstool bloggers were characters of the walking dead, you'd be a mindless zombie

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by budderall on April 2, 2013 at 11:22 am

Didn't even bother reading the rest of the blog after reading that second sentence.

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by firefeiter on April 2, 2013 at 11:22 am

breaking bad > the walking dead and it isnt really close Jerry.

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by mctrippy on April 2, 2013 at 11:22 am

This was pretty good. It took this last episode to admit to myself that I no longer hated Carl. If other people feel the same way then its an impressive accomplishment for that show. I'm guessing this entire article was inspired by the Governor's eyepatch.

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by presmoobs on April 2, 2013 at 11:22 am

wow, you really think this shit is even close to those shows? mindbottling.

Not saying it's trash or anything, but it doesn't belong in the same fucking universe as Game of Thrones and Breaking bad, not since season 1 anyway.

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by -2 on April 2, 2013 at 11:20 am

you're a loser jerry

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by stedman76 on April 2, 2013 at 11:20 am

Andrea would be played by Tuukka Rask because he is the biggest bitch in Boston.