Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

~Perfect Poly~

Identify and analyze every single emotion you have, and then communicate the fuck out of them to every person involved.

Everyone is striving for that elusive secret to poly enlightenment. “If only we really understood our true feelings,” we say to ourselves and to each other, “we would not be jealous, insecure, lonely, possessive, or discontent. If only we were emotionally evolved,” we lament, “we would not wish for things to be different, to be easier; to be…more.”

So we read and discuss. We ponder and mull. We analyze. We cry. We wonder why we aren’t enlightened enough, selfless enough; loving enough.

Doing good poly, does not mean doing perfect poly. Doing good poly means waking up every day, and trying to be the best human being you can be, for your partners; for your partners’ partners; but most of all for yourself. Doing good poly means making good and right choices regardless of the emotions we may possess at any given moment.

So let the uncomfortable feelings come. Sit with that discomfort, and know that you are human, and you are not a poly failure simply because you have human emotions. Let your feelings wash over you, for they will soon fade, as emotions are wont to do.

I must have read this 30 times now. It’s like my little mantra that I keep coming back to whenever I need some perspective and grounding. This blog post has helped me more than anything when I jealousy spiral, and I frequently share it friends with similar struggles. Thank you.