Walmart Is Now Selling Babies At Checkout

While the pending dystopia has not yet reached the threshold of birthing tanks and mass production breeding centers, Walmart is apparently experimenting with increasing a sustained population growth in the US, while turning a tidy profit.

According to ABC News, a woman went into labor in a Payson, Utah Walmart near a checkout stand and gave birth a short time later, after insisting on paying for her items. There is no evidence at this time whether or not she was purchasing deep fried Twinkies or a spam derivative, before producing her third child. As the corporation caters to an economically diverse customer base and a subsequent multitude of low brow humor associated with that said demographic, as a result of current diminishing birth rate in the US and other Western countries, the idea of marketing embryos from a storefront in the near future may not actually breach the realm of the inconceivable. Cornering the boutique consumer base of the genetic market alone, could result in residual billions of dollars and the foundation for the precarious dangers associated with a “planned” society. With the collective imaginations of the literary community on full-alert, the diverse array of content would be the antithesis to the burgeoning conformity of engineered perfection. Maybe the movie Gattaca was more of a precursor to actual instances in the near future, than simply a solid science fiction film in the 1990’s?

As a critique to the current state of society, the mother and baby are guaranteed to receive preferential treatment from the assiduous hierarchy manifested by the Walton family and in lieu of enduring ceaseless greetings upon entering the expanse of a wayward iteration of the free-market economy, the pair is eligible for donations of diapers and formula.