I want to live in a World without fear,
Fear of being attacked, ridiculed, or demeaned,
I want to live without the fear of feeling unworthy or small because of my views and beliefs.

I want to live amongst people of different ethnic minorities and embrace our differences,
I want to learn from them and I want to teach them,
I want to see, hear and feel them as my equal,
I want to integrate.

I want to smile when I see two people in love
No matter what their sexual preference… Love is love, who am I to question, judge or preach?

I want to find peaceful resolution in a conflicted World,
I want to support those innocent soles trapped in countries, afraid and desperate, prepared to do whatever they must to survive and protect their loved ones.

I want to support those people brave enough to stand up to dictators and extremists,
I want to stop feeling powerless that I can’t do anything to help.

I want to support the Earth to renew and heal itself
I want to stop polluting Mother Earth in my own small way.

I want to take responsibility for making the World a better place,
And when I feel overwhelmed by the enormity of all that responsibility…

I want to remember that I have a voice and I have a right to express it, because I live in a democracy which allows me to speak as a woman, to have an opinion.
This is a privilege I feel grateful for every day when I listen to the News.

I want young women to stand up for what they believe in… It’s your right, it’s what our Mothers, Grandmothers, Great Grandmothers and many other strong, powerful women fought for not so very long ago.

As women, we so often put ourselves at the bottom of the pile. Sorting kids out, managing domestics, finding time to support our partner, ageing parents and friends. Many of us also work and are riddled with guilt that we don’t give enough to our bosses, or our family! A vicious circle we repeat day in and day out. If this sounds all too familiar take a deep breath… Seriously take a deep breath in and relax, because you are most definitely NOT alone.

Sitting in a coffee shop recently, waiting for a friend, I listened to a couple of women on the table next to me talking about the demands of their jobs and the pressure of running a family. When my own friend arrived we seemed to end up having a similar conversation. Torn between the love of our families and wanting to take care of them, our love of growing our businesses and yet wanting and desperately needing some space and time for ourselves. We concluded that what we really needed at home was some good old appreciation. Or did we?
When I got home I began to really think about whether Paul and my boys appreciated all that I do? I suspected that they didn’t, but, did I really appreciate all that Paul does? No probably not. So, what was the answer? I decided that expecting appreciation from my children was a recipe for disaster. So, I asked myself: “Is it possible to take care of our families and do it with a willing and loving heart?”
A tall order I know, and yet, whenever I find myself feeling unappreciated there’s an accompanying feeling of resentment in me, and that often makes me feel worse than simply getting the task at hand done. So, what’s the solution?
I don’t profess to always get this right, but, when I breathe and ask myself. Why am I doing this? I’m often surprised to hear myself say something like “Well it has to be done”or,”If I don’t do it who will”. Again, I feel resentful, even angry at times. The truth is, I often don’t have to do that particular thing right then and there. No one is pressurising me… except me and my own stupid expectations!
As hard as it was at times, I made a commitment to stop doing things when I felt resentful, or unappreciated. The amazing thing was nine times out of ten, nothing happened. The World didn’t stop turning, my kids didn’t get sick from the easier meal I cooked, or the take away we bought instead. They all found other clothes to wear. My friend was fine about me cancelling because I was knackered that day. The dog didn’t die because I didn’t walk him 4 miles that day.
I would even go so far as to say my boys encouraged me to do it, or rather not do it, completely agreeing that I put too much pressure on myself. What a laugh!
The bottom line is slow down, let it be. You’ll be surprised how easy it is and how much more relaxed you feel. Go on, PLEASE, go and sit down and leave the job you don’t really want to do, or ask someone else to do it. Yes, they might resist you and have a moan, but guess why that is? Yep, because Mum has always done it and now it’s time to share the load.

Take care of yourself at every opportunity, by saying ‘no’ (mostly to yourself) and you’ll find you have much more love and time to share with those you love, as your resentment slips away.

At some point during a personal coaching session I will ask all my clients ‘What is it you want from your coaching?’ Often the reply is ‘I don’t know that’s why I’m here’ or, their answer is directed at solving a current issue or drama going on in their lives. But, after some gentle probing their original answer usually changes to a simple statement ‘I just want to be happy’ or maybe they’ll use the word contented, fulfilled, or at peace.

So what is happiness? Sit back and ask yourself the last time you felt truly happy, contented, fulfilled or at peace with yourself?

As I write this I’m sat on a balcony overlooking the sea, it’s 7am and the world is peaceful… and so am I. I can hear the sea lapping on the shore and the sound of an unfamiliar bird song rings sweetly in my ears. I’m aware of my breath rising and filling my belly, moving gently up towards my chest and then gracefully exiting my body. As I become aware of this beautiful sensation I notice the gentle smile on my lips and am overwhelmed with gratitude to be experiencing it in the moment.

Whist I want to share this with each and everyone of you I know that me writing about it will not be enough to impart this gift to you. It’s a bit of a cliche but, all of this is actually within me (and you) and has very little to do with the surroundings I described above. After all, if it was dependant on the surroundings I’d need to recreate it to have any chance of ever experiencing it again. The truth is I can access, or be aware of this state of mind at any time which means exactly that…it’s a state of mind. The great news is you control your mind, the challenge is it will take some discipline and a few minutes of practice every day.

I think the best time to start is when you first wake up in the morning. Resist the urge to junp out of bed and get on with your day (which is how I used to start every day). Take a few moments and observe your breath, which will connect your mind to your body. Breathe slow and deep into your belly feeling it rise. Allow your breath to move up into your diaphragm and then in to your chest and throat. As you exhale let go of any tension in your body and repeat six to eight more times.

As you breathe think about something you’re grateful for, no matter what you’re going through there is always something you can be grateful for. Perhaps you have the fortune of good health. (A great blessing in a world filled with disease and poverty). Perhaps you are lucky enough to be in a committed, loving relationship and can be grateful to have that persons love and support. Perhaps you love your work and can be thankful to have a job you enjoy. Maybe you have a beautiful home, children, friends or other family that love and appreciate you. I know if you want to, you can find something and once you find one thing you can find another and then another.

As you allow yourself to feel gratitude in this way for life, you will feel the peace beginning to wash over you. Enjoy it and be prepared to let it grow. Like anything you need to nurture the habit to help it grow, especially when you’re faced with some of life’s inevitable challenges.

I wish I could jump out of your screen and let you experience the way I feel. I know if I we able to do that you’d take the few mintues everyday to develop the ‘happy state’ game and put a smile on your own face.