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Vampire Alligator: I am actually very surprised that we haven’t found the Vampire Owl for quite some time. He was there for the Mad Max: Fury Road review with you, but haven’t seen him after that. I was wondering about his absence and so were the rest of the members of the Vampire Team. Vampire Crocodile even came to the conclusion that he was dead. Did he contact you or Uncle Dracula?

Vampire Bat: Yes, it is a long story, rather too long to write down as one blog post.

Vampire Alligator: Okay, just remove those parts where you talk about those philosophical things and come up with the rest. It will be so short then, and you can even add a few other things to exaggerate the tale.

Vampire Bat: There is this one-sided love story between the Vampire Owl and Lady Death.

Vampire Alligator: One side? Like Lady Death loved him and he didn’t want to die?

Vampire Bat: No, its the other way around. He was looking for Lady Death. He was even digging the graveyard to find a shortcut to reach her.

Vampire Alligator: Oh, yes. I even heard that rumour that you were searching for Lady Death’s evil twin sister.

Vampire Bat: That is rather different. She is educated outside the realms of death, and won’t inherit the realm. Even in the absence of a husband or an heir, it will only pass on to her prodigal brother who has recently returned from the world tour. It means that she will be free.

Vampire Alligator: Still you don’t know her name yet. Oh forget that! Tell more about the missing Vampire Owl instead.

Vampire Bat: You can call a rose by any name, my dear apprentice. So better you forget that part. About the Vampire Owl, my secret sources say that he finally met Lady Death at the bottom of the Bottomless Sea.

Vampire Alligator: How can he go to the bottom of a sea which has no bottom?

Vampire Bat: That is just the name. You know that we vampires always hated sea. Every sea actually has a bottom except when there is a portal open there, but we will know about that if such an incident occurs.

Vampire Alligator: So, he met her and is ruling the Realm of Death with Lady Death?

Vampire Bat: No, according to the Dark Elf News Channel, he fainted when he got the smell of death from Lady Death, and is now at the Great Elf Mountains Healthcare Centre – they say that he is not ready to leave even after they have discharged him and offered free treatment for one full vampire year.

Vampire Alligator: Is the odour problem that bad? I thought that the vampire situation was rather better.

Vampire Bat: Yes, people have all kinds of perfumes and scents these days, and so everyone is expecting the other person to smell better. It is more like a necessity these days. This is why there is no more official vampire smell.

Vampire Alligator: So Uncle Dracula doesn’t smell like a vampire?

Vampire Bat: Absolutely not. These days, everyone wants to smell better, and they use the best of perfumes even if they are just going to sleep after taking a shower. It just comes naturally to them as part of their daily routine. Everyone takes care of the smell. Even the first impressions are made from the sense of smell. It doesn’t matter how good you are if you smell unpleasant, as the society these days tend to go towards better smelling people.

Vampire Alligator: What about those people who smell terrible from the soul?

Vampire Bat: Yes, such people are there too. They smell terrible inside and pretend to be fair – along with all these getting better, there is no solution to those people who are terrible at heart. But we can work with what we can manage, and smell is something that we can make better.

Vampire Alligator: Evil always finds one way or the other. Let’s at least hope to make the smell feel better.

Vampire Bat: That is the point. Let’s hope that at least the smell gets better if not the minds of men.

Vampire Alligator: Let’s take this further when the Vampire Owl returns to us whenever he decides to.

Vampire Bat: Yes, people need to know!

Vampire Alligator: I am actually going to put this on Facebook and Twitter!

*Just a short story explaining the disappearance of the Vampire Owl even though I was not short-listed for a particular activity 😀

***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Page of Hotel Transylvania.

In the Chambers of the Elder Vampires, Vampire Bat and Vampire Owl has a discussion. It wasn’t about the wars this time, but it was not a case of peace either. The chambers were listening to a different conversation. It was about the effects of the love at first sight which Vampire Owl had felt for Lady Death.

Vampire Bat: Are you sure you want to do this? Do you think that this is the right decision at this point?

Vampire Owl: Yes, I would do this for Lady Death as you would do that for her evil twin sister.

Vampire Bat: I haven’t really decided about myself. I am sure that I won’t be asked about such strange conditions in love.

Vampire Owl: You don’t understand. This is love at first sight. There is nothing ordinary about it, and instead here we have it as a thing of highest quality.

Vampire Bat: What do you mean by that? Where did you actually see her? You haven’t met Death yet.

Vampire Owl: It is kind of correct in your simple and lifeless terms, considering the fact that you are a layman in love. I am of the standard of a bishop if love is considered a religion.

Vampire Bat: It is indeed a relief that you didn’t say Pope, Lama or Patriarch. Love is not a religion even though people say that their religion is love or God is love; your love with Lady Death is surely not that. You can ask Uncle Dracula for confirmation.

Vampire Owl: This is why you should read books about love from the Imperial Vampire Library. It is about sensing her presence and making an impression. Sight is just a word which translates into sense in after-life.

Vampire Bat: You mean to say that your dearest Lady Death is blind and can only sense your presence.

Vampire Owl: Silly layman. You should be ordained into the guild of love, or you will never find Lady Death’s evil twin sister. This is why you don’t even know her name yet.

Vampire Bat: Actually, none of these is the problem. Your mission is injurious to your health. I can give you a clear warning on that. I can even get certification about the same from our analysts.

Vampire Owl: I am very good at missions. I have accomplished so much in my career with one mission after another.

Vampire Bat: Yes, but not related to returning with an eye of a cyclops. You will be going through hostile territory. To add to that, there are two problems related to the same. One is that you don’t know if the creature exists. The second is that if they do, a cyclops got only one eye and if you take it you are going to make it very angry.

Vampire Owl: There is this area north of the Dark Elf Terrain and west of the Blood Merchant Ports. I will have to go through the Graves of the Undead, but I have a bag of bones and it will be okay to make a passage. The area is called Horn of Cyclops. I will find the creatures there. When I do, it won’t matter if they are angry, happy or depressed.

Vampire Bat: You are not even going to make it through the Free Zombie Territory. Do you know that a mythical cyclops is not supposed to have a horn, and the name could be just because the area is shaped like that? The place is ruled by tribal chieftains. You are going to be caught in the middle of nowhere.

Vampire Owl: May be. But it is love at first sight, or sense. I have to give it a try. This is one of those things to do in order to meet Lady Death; she appears in case of victory and we can get to her in case of a defeat which is death.

Vampire Bat: Of what use is a dead Vampire Owl even to love? And most of all, what is the use to Uncle Dracula? You are not even going to be reborn again as a zombie if you die in the North.

Vampire Owl: You cannot stop my destiny with such strange words. My determination is bigger than all that.

Vampire Bat: You should still inform Uncle Dracula about the same and find the right moment.

Vampire Owl: I shall be doing the same. I will appoint Vampire Alligator in my place when I am not here.

Vampire Bat: But Vampire Crocodile is the third in command and the fourth most experienced person of the team.

Vampire Owl: Yes, but he and his stories of Lake Placid have been getting into my nerves. I am giving punishment transfer for him to the borders around the Werewolf Kingdom.

Vampire Bat: Not a fair decision as usual! I suggest you go through the sea then, around the Old Vampire Isle.

Vampire Owl: I shall give it some thought. The first thing to do is to say good bye to Uncle Dracula and make sure that he agrees to my points enough to grant me leave.

Vampire Bat: So be it then! So much for what follows the love at first sight, sense or whatever.

[The chambers were back to sensing the silence with no vampire presence].

***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Page of Hotel Transylvania.

The Vampire Team was asked by Uncle Dracula to provide protection to the fairy godmother. She was threatened by the Draconian Reptile Order and the Dark Warlords after her long speech about being calm and tolerant. Her act of turning a frog into a snake was also considered a case of blasphemy by the former, and as an act of war cry by the latter. Three were selected to guard and prevent any kind of terrorist act.

Vampire Hamster: The bell is ringing. I think we should go because it is the time to disperse. But wait! Actually, why were we here?

Vampire Bat: We are here for guard duty. There are no bells here. The noise is from the Bleeding Neck Vampire LP School.

Vampire Hamster: The awesome BNVLPS where people get one A+ score free with a B+ score? Wow! Can I get an admission? This might be late by an eternity, but still?

Vampire Owl: Didn’t he know this before from the vampire study classes? We should have asked for the Vampire Crocodile instead. This memory-free apprentice is getting into my nerves.

Vampire Bat: He didn’t want to come when he knew that we were watching Lake Placid. He finds the movie very disturbing and anti-crocodile; there is a petition already sent to the Supernatural League to find a way to ban it confiscate all DVDs.

Vampire Owl: But it is supposed to a cool movie. We are watching Lake Placid? When?

Vampire Bat: When you were asleep during guard duty, and our apprentice here had forgotten about the same.

Vampire Hamster: Excuse me sir, but I think that there is a human coming this way.

Vampire Owl: Humans are here? All hope in this fantasy world is also lost! What happened to the respect for other creative dimensions and the limits of exploration?

Vampire Bat: May be he is just lost. The portals between dimensions are rather messy these days. A few days ago, we even had potato people coming through. We will just ask him to spare some blood for lunch and let him go.

Vampire Hamster: Halt, human! In the name of Count…count – whatever was the name and full title; in the name of the lord of all vampires, stop right there!

Stranger: But I really want to see my fairy godmother. Why are you standing in front of her door? Who are you people who are blocking the devotees? Are you her disciples?

Vampire Bat: First of all, don’t call her your fairy godmother and she takes no devotees. She is no property of any human. And second thing, we are not disciples; we are assigned to protect the fairy godmother from all kinds of evil presence, which includes you.

Vampire Hamster: Now I understand why we are here. All hail the fairy godmother! Do we get paid in Milkybars?

Vampire Owl: I think about him writing a PSC or NET exam in the other world. Well, this person has some explaining to do. Why is he actually here? He is not supposed to be running around through our world.

Stranger: I am here to see the fairy godmother as I have said already. I am here to see her so that I can change my world. My wife also wanted to come here and wish her on the mother’s day. But sadly, she had to visit my mother on mother’s day because the old lady was insisting on the same. So, I am here to seek the blessings of the fairy godmother so that my life will get better, and I will be like Cinderella and we will have a lot of wealth with easy life. She is more like the goddess and mother of everyone.

Vampire Bat: So you think that you could escape from your responsibilities towards your own mother and instead call a lady who does magic as “mother”? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds? May be not that much in your world, but here?

Stranger: But I love the fairy godmother. There is no other mother for me.

Vampire Owl: I think that he should be impaled on this spear and we can use him as an exhibit – the grand old Dracula model.

Vampire Hamster: Excuse me gentlemen, but what is a spear? Isn’t this a lance that we are holding?

[Everybody stares at Vampire Hamster for a moment].

Stranger: I think I should come back later. Just tell her that I am a big fan of her – like a pure, high level devotee. I will be back to seek blessings from her. We have local spiritual and religious people like the fairy godmother back in our world. We love her!

Vampire Owl: Can you believe that? Who would he leave his own mother for some strange and unknown lady who does random magic?

Vampire Bat: I have known the extremities of being strange. I have seen too much hatred and equality to come up with a better judgment of humanity.

Vampire Hamster: So this is why we bite people?

Vampire Bat: I guess this adds to the long list of reasons.

Vampire Owl: Yes, cut the reason number twenty seven from the list and add this instead.

Vampire Hamster: Point noted, sir.

***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Page of the movie, Hotel Transylvania.

A month after appointing the first ever vampire psychiatrist part-time in the castle, Uncle Dracula decided to provide him with only the second appointment of his vampire career, to treat the Vampire Owl and get him out of his depression with the support of Vampire Bat. After all, the situation in the other world was rather threatening and he needed all the help that he could manage to get.

Vampire Owl: I am feeling a certain amount of panic. Is this the panic room? Then why is it that Jodie Foster never came? Is it because she is not acting much now? She was there in Elysium, right?

Uncle Dracula [while leaving]: See, this is why we need immediate treatment. If you need anything, ask the Vampire Bat. I will be outside letting others know that he has lost his mind, and getting more of the team here for support.

Psychiatrist: Okay, you can start now, Mr. Vampire Owl.

Vampire Owl: I waited for an eternity, but she never came. Her neighbour and best friend told me otherwise, but she never really came.

Psychiatrist: Okay, I completely understand the feeling. So, you just had a love failure. I have treated many such cases.

Vampire Owl: No, there is more than that. It is a long story. I am writing a book “An Owlish Love Failure: The Autobiography of a Missing Vampire Owl“. Can I talk about it in detail?

Psychiatrist: Yes, but please try to make it as short as possible. It is a topic of interest, but I have things to do.

Vampire Owl: It was the best time of my life, and I was only getting more and more awesome. Do you know how much I have tried? Do you even realize how far I have gone? I jumped into the five oceans, put my head into a werewolf’s lair, stole a plate of brain biriyani from a zombie, leaped in front of speeding centaurs, kicked a high elf on his head, took some necromanium from the necrons, tried to murder the immortals, called a witch a lich, mocked a satyr when he was training…

Psychiatrist: So, you were trying to find your lost love by going through such acts of high valour. You must be an extremely brave man.

Vampire Bat: Don’t you still get it? He was trying to commit suicide. He is talking about Lady Death, the personification of mortality’s dead end.

Psychiatrist: What? I am someone who can play with vampire minds. I know everything. Why do you think that you can advice me?

Vampire Bat: Because I am waiting in the queue. After you finish with him, you have to treat me.

Psychiatrist: Why? What is your problem? Are you all completely crazy?

Vampire Bat: I am in love with death’s evil twin sister. I am also waiting for love. So may be, you should treat me too.

Psychiatrist: I think that there is the need for shock treatment. I will just call the guards and deal with this in an easier way.

Vampire Bat: In that case, I would like to remind you of something. There is a fact which you need to know about. Our stories are incomplete. It will only be complete with the return of Lady Death and her evil twin sister. But there is something about yours. It will be complete soon enough. Do you want to hear a funny fact? The guards are not here at this time; their chapters are also closed for now.

Psychiatrist: What do you mean? This is rather strange.

Vampire Owl: It is us who will close your story. Do you remember what you did to the last vampire who came to you for treatment? Can you recollect how many normal people you have declared mentally unstable? You do have a short memory, and we are here to remind you. We shall give you the reminder that you are fake.

Psychiatrist: No, wait! I declare you all mentally unstable! I play with human minds, and I am going to venture into the subconscious, unconscious…

Vampire Owl: Stay unconscious, as the story continues. This part of the program is sponsored by the vampire team.

[Power failure]

Voices: This is why we bite people! All hail the team!

Uncle Dracula: Make sure that you don’t finish his story; keep it incomplete. There might be some scope for the future.

***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Page of the movie, Hotel Transylvania.

Vampire Owl: No, it is clear that he is not a satyr, highlander, nomad…or a even known tree. I have never slept on something like this.

Vampire Bat: I think he is an Ent, a higher class citizen of the Wood Elf Lands.

Ent: Why does it matter who I am? What matters more is on all which has been done – all those atrocities which were committed in the name of advancement in science and the need for development.

Vampire Owl: He is like a war survivor, you know.

Vampire Bat: The conquests of the Dark Elves and the frequent attacks of Nomads have made such a bad influence on our forests. It is really a shame.

Ent: Are you completely out of your vampire minds? Do my injuries look like the result of a war or due to the spells from Dark Elves? Do you think Nomads will attack the nodes of life that feeds them?

Vampire Owl: I am confused. What is it about then?

Ent: It is a reflection of what has happened in the other world. I can feel the pain of fallen trees through the portals.

Vampire Bat: The Dwarves have always been like that. They and their new inventions in the underworld.

Ent: I am talking about the humans! Why are the clues so difficult for you? Stop acting like zombies! Don’t you go to that world through the portals to watch movies?

Vampire Bat: Yes, but we don’t see why it is so hard for you with situation there.

I ask humans to do one thing that is to save nature, and they can’t even come close 😀

Ent: I can feel it in me as they fall every tree there and never really think about replacing the same with another one. They run through trees with such an ease, but finds it difficult to demolish concrete buildings. They have problems when the path goes through their places of worship, but what they don’t realize is that nature is something to be worshipped too. I am a high priest and the eternal spirit of nature – I feel the pain each and every second. Why are we always the ones to suffer? Will they like us better if we were made from India Cements?

Vampire Bat: Chennai Super Kings fans are not going like that last question.

Vampire Owl: Is that a beard? I mean, I haven’t seen trees with beards. Satyrs have it, but…

Vampire Bat: He is a very old spirit. It was the coolest fashion at that time! Why don’t you go to Kerala then? There is so much of greenery there and the presence of nature tourism has been at full power. Have you seen the Kerala Tourism advertisement? I am sure that you haven’t seen something like that in your eternity.

Ent: I am not disagreeing with the same. Yes, there is so much greenery, but there is still too much modernity coming up. There are huge flats coming up and there are too many illegal constructions which affect the balance.

Vampire Owl: But there is more interest in the greener side.

Vampire Bat: On the vegetables than anything else. One actress is shown cultivating vegetables successfully and everybody is after the vegetables. Some of them don’t even touch the plant. It is not love for nature. It is just a bloody show-off.

Ent: Yes, they all wants to be part of the vegetable empowerment program. Some people just have too much money. But do they love nature? I don’t think so. A few people think that they will grow on their own, and the others have enough money to hire others to do the work. Then they call themselves “farmers” – seriously?

Even one leaf from nature is a gift of interest. Humans feel less about the same.

Vampire Bat: But there is the eco-tourism which has been nicely implemented in some places. It has worked very well in most cases. There is still better work that expected and it will only improve – even though there will always be some people who try to reverse the situation. There will be people who want to replace all the trees with concrete buildings when it comes to money. But things change, and people are understanding the situation better.

Vampire Owl: They don’t have the Enchanted Woods like we do, and so it is more difficult for them. Humans will learn, but it will take time. If they don’t we will unleash something through the portals.

Ent: I shall rest here until then. I have been accepted as a refugee in the New Vampire World and hope to have a better reflection from the other dimension so that I can go and be part of the Enchanted Woods again. Otherwise, I am just ruining the hallowed grounds which is more respected by the Wood Elves than anything else.

Vampire Bat: You can join us anytime. Bring a few tree minions if you need to.

Vampire Owl: A special tree for just owls alone will be a nice idea.

The Earth Day is just around the corner! Lets try to contribute to a better green world in our own way! It is up-to us to make a difference within our smaller universe and contribute to the society! Support Green Yatra on the same: http://greenyatra.org/

***The photos used in this blog post were taken by me on my Asus Zenfone 5.

The Vampire Bat and The Vampire Owl waited at the Old Castle Tower which faced the Bloody Waters Bay. They watched as a number of smaller ships joined the Great Vampire Armada from distant lands, and riders on dark horses arrived from the other side which formed a long path. It was transformed into the unofficial vampire waiting room. They waited and waited, and they did nothing else.

Vampire Owl: I have waited for so long. There might be no hope. Vampire Crocodile would have decided to quit very long ago.

Vampire Bat: May be we can wait a little longer. This old castle tower is abandoned anyway and we have no other job.

Vampire Owl: But she was supposed to come much earlier. This has been like an eternity.

Vampire Bat: She has to come all the way from those distant lands. We have to wait as much as we can.

Vampire Owl: I see horses approaching with black banners. Is it her?

Vampire Bat: I think that it is a funeral procession. It should be for the vampire who took a bullet or two in the name of love for that high elf girl, but forgot that it was made of silver and dipped in garlic.

Vampire Owl: There are strange things that people do for the ladies when in love, I see. Yet, we are actually doing nothing by sitting here.

Vampire Owl: There is nothing to be done in this world.

Vampire Bat: Which is why we are waiting here to change our lives forever.

Uncle Dracula: There is no use in waiting. She is not going to come; not today and not tomorrow or day after tomorrow.

Vampire Owl: He is so pessimistic. Why is he talking like that and sending us to the void of perpetual depression?

Uncle Dracula: How is hoping for Lady Death to come, a case of optimism? Death has nothing optimistic about it. I don’t see any joy in the same. There is no glory in suicide if you are thinking about one. You have been marked by the shadows, and won’t have a good time in the other world.

Vampire Bat: But we are in love with Lady Death and her evil twin with long curly hair and bad teeth.

Uncle Dracula: Love? Is it what you people call it? You have been bored with life so much that you hope for death, and you sit here after reading the poems of Emily Dickinson. Get out there, have a Blood Milk Shake and get back to work.

Vampire Owl: But true love is beyond life and death. It is like a bridge between the two worlds. So many poets have talked about it. Even the great vampire court poet who was eaten by those zombies.

Uncle Dracula: Yes, but none of them were talking about you, which is why they are world famous poets now. Do you think that this melodrama is cool? It is not. We have work to do. There is a bloody vampire empire to run. There is hatred and there is chaos all around. There are wars and there is intolerance. In the middle of all these, we have to come up with a brighter example. And here, you are sitting at the top of the tower and personifying death as a lady. Let me tell you what I am going to do. I will put you both on the vampire matrimony website.

Vampire Bat: No, not the matrimonial website! It is evil even for the human standards!

Vampire Owl: Wait, there is a ship with black sails. Why is it so bloody slow? Even blood cargo ships are faster than that.

Uncle Dracula: It is the ghost ship that haunts the Spectre Peninsula. It is not of this world, but a reflection from the other dimension of the wrong which has happened years ago at the peninsula and has to be corrected in the long run. Death doesn’t own a ship anyway.

Vampire Bat: We should wait for Lady Death tomorrow then! It will be an even better day because it is a holiday.

Uncle Dracula: You work very less. So it doesn’t really matter.

Vampire Bat: Let’s go then and hope for a better tomorrow.

Vampire Owl: Yes, with lots of love for Lady Death and her evil twin sister.

***The images used in this blog post are smaller cropped pictures of the originals from the Wikipedia pages of two Romanian castles, Poenari Castle and Corvin Castle meant as a support for the write-up only.

Shadow: How many times do I have to say that I am not the Devil, but his messenger? If my king knows that I was called by his unholy name, he might decide to send me to another dimension of hell.

Vampire Owl: I think he is having an identity crisis. May be he s the messenger devil, a new form of the Devil. Somebody needs to talk to him about his existence. He is confused.

Shadow: I am not confused. You people are just too hopeless. Where is your uncle? I want to talk to the vampire lord. Call him.

Uncle Dracula: Stop teasing the Devil’s messenger. Tell me, Mr. Shadow. Why are you here? You know that you are not welcome, and none of your kind has any programme here. Your master is banned from coming within twenty five kilometres near this castle. We are free thinkers here and we have chosen to join your opposition.

Vampire Bat: I think he was actually planning to go to the werewolf abode or the cemetery. He needs to find some souls for his master or he will be burnt in hell. Well, it is quite a natural process for him, but he would want to avoid that.

Shadow: I am here as a messenger and you keep talking without stopping. Do you mind letting me speak?

Uncle Dracula: If you have kept your master’s plans to take over the world away from our area, you can speak about your message.

Shadow: Yes, and the message is simple. We want you to stop helping the humans to be good.

Vampire Owl: This is interesting. Do you mind telling us why? Is the Devil too desperate for souls even when he has too many souls already?

Shadow: Absolutely not. There are never enough souls. There is a balance which has been maintained throughout the centuries. People can be told to be good, but forcing them to be so actually destroys that balance. It should be the result of free-will. Some of those people you forcibly turned good are actually causing problems at the purgatory, and you are shifting the balance in favour of heaven and purgatory only, which is a serious blow. There will always be humans of pure evil, but still…..

Shadow: Why do you have to think so? There has to be darkness for the existence of light. Otherwise, what is the point? The good can thus turn more good. You can’t change the nature of man. It is just supposed to be evil, and goodness has to be taught. Your extra effort is a bonus that the evil nature of man doesn’t need. We need those souls which we deserve. We won’t take them by force, but you can’t touch the free-will. The angels have promised that, and you have to maintain your neutrality.

Uncle Dracula: So, you expect us to remain silent when evil happens?

Shadow: Your alignment is supposed to be neutral. I am pure evil, as you can see from these wings made with hell’s dark matter. The evil has to be punished, and as humans have opted for free-will, we have to allow them to choose. You just cannot ban evil. It is like banning alcohol – people have to know that it is bad for their health and stop drinking alcohol. The righteous world is possible only when people can choose to be good even when temptations haunt them. Yes, we have a full list of temptations which we supply, but we do that for the good people to survive the same and rise to an even better level.

Vampire Owl: I should have recorded this on my phone. Here is a shadow talking like he is everything except a shadow.

Uncle Dracula: We will still choose to do good, it is a team decision.

Shadow: By all means, do good or evil. It is a decision that is left to you. But maintain your neutral nature when dealing with, when affecting humans. They should themselves choose the good and evil in the end. Only then can we function properly and do our duties.

Vampire Bat: Well, even we don’t want to see the hell going bankrupt, I guess.

Vampire Owl: There are lots of people who deserve the place, and I am sure about it. The Devil should actually take some humans early.

Uncle Dracula: Well, justice is often not served right in this world, and so the existence of hell is a much needed thing. The law of humans is in favour of the rich and those in power, and lets make sure about the better functioning of hell. We are people of the blood, and we have to do our job, but lets make sure about the existence of the good and the evil together without affecting free-will too much.

Vampire Bat: Why are we looking down from the top of this church tower? Did the teleportation procedure fail miserably?

Vampire Owl: Actually, we are not at the top just yet. This is the tallest church in India, and also the largest. I can sense a number of human necks with lots of blood! Why didn’t we bring the special telescope?

Uncle Dracula: I have brought both of you here to talk about something. I was bringing Vampire Crocodile too, but he was too heavy and only his tail could reach here. I have sent it back to him anyway. Well, what I want to talk about is, do you know what is the specialty of this day?

Vampire Bat: Yes, a lovely Sunday, and a holiday! Even little Mavis won’t have to go the Grand Vampire Nursery, right?

Vampire Owl: Is it the birthday of the Vampire Crow, or was it the Vampire Raven? It is surely not of Vampire Hamster – he can’t remember that to tell us about it.

Uncle Dracula: Such confused vampire brethren! You have almost no sense of days, right? Today is Easter and I am going to give you the Easter message.

Vampire Owl: Vampires don’t give Easter messages. They give Halloween messages. Even the Lich Queen only give Valentine’s Day messages for the undead.

Vampire Bat: Did you just say massage? Like in Ayurveda? I need one for my neck.

Vampire Owl: Not at all! It is about the message. It doesn’t happen on Easter for the vampires. There is no such history.

Uncle Dracula: I am here to change that. We are here to let the history take a u-turn. It is time that we adapt. The world needs us, and it is a group of good and fair vampires that the human society needs to compensate the evil that they do.

Vampire Bat: Okay, so where do you start? What do you want to say?

Uncle Dracula: I am not going to do a speech here, but I ask you to forgive your enemies.

Vampire Owl: But I want to abuse them on Facebook.

Uncle Dracula: It doesn’t matter what you want to do! I am asking you to forgive them. Today is Easter. Why is it so difficult to understand?

Vampire Owl: Okay, I forget all one thousand two hundred and fifty seven of them.

Vampire Bat: I forgive my enemies too. What? Wait! How many? There are not that many people in the vampire, werewolf and zombie lands combined.

Vampire Owl: I randomly hate people. I don’t even know why. I have been reading a few Facebook posts and there is so much hatred out there, and it makes me want to join. I mean, nobody wants to spread love – it is like the eternal hate fest.

Uncle Dracula: What makes you think that the Facebook posts reflect what happens in the outside world? And what makes you believe that people actually mean what they say? They are rather ignorant or brainwashed people trying to be the anonymous bad guys on Facebook so that they can feel good. It is the advantage that they have with social networking. Some people are even worse in real life, but the reflection of the true life is never the same. But the real question is that why do you choose to believe everything that you see on Facebook just because it is there?

Vampire Bat: It is a shame that, in this modern age, people can be brainwashed into doing such things. Such a bloody abuse fest. People are not getting any better.

Vampire Owl: I still forgive them today.

Uncle Dracula: See, that is the point of Easter.

Vampire Bat: I see that the portal has opened. Lets go back to the castle.

Vampire Owl: Yes, lets go right now! I can’t wait to tell the great epic story of forgiving vampires to little Mavis as a morality tale.

I have been tagged by Maniparna to take part in the Five Photos Five Stories (FPFS) challenge. This challenge works like: You post pictures for five consecutive days (with possible discounts like sometimes changing to alternate days :D) and attach posts to it, fiction, poem or short write-up. It can be anything that suits your taste. I am also tagging my wonderful blogger friend, Moon on Day Three, as part of the challenge, and I will tag a new person on Day Four.

***The image used in this blog post was taken by me on my Sony Cybershot DSC-W310 camera.

It was not the appropriate day for such a big party, but the plans were already made and people arrived too early. Mavis Dracula was already the happiest vampire on the planet. The rain had arrived with the support of lightning. The Vampire Bat looked outside from the balcony as Mavis’ birthday party was at full flow. The Vampire Owl joined him with a bottle of Coca-cola.

Vampire Owl: The food is so good here. We need to take some of these items home. I shall keep it in the refrigerator for a month and keep eating until I get fat. You can also take some of the food and give most of it to that cat of yours.

Vampire Bat: What is the point of doing that? You see how the lightning strikes.

Vampire Owl: Today is the philosophy day? Or is this like the official vampire absurdist period of time? If yes, I can come back later. By the way, have you seen that beautiful girl talking to Uncle Dracula?

Vampire Bat: No, where is she? How does she look?

Vampire Owl: No, I haven’t seen her either. I just had a feeling.

Vampire Bat: Do you know that making stupid jokes when someone is seriously looking at the lightning, which reflects one’s own mind and that person is going through an extremely powerful melancholy stage, is a terrible thing to do?

Vampire Owl: Okay, that sounds strange and too long for me, even when without my owlification job. What is the problem? Or the absence of a problem?

Vampire Bat: I am a very old unmarried Vampire Bat with no job and getting twenty four hours of pathetic advice out of every possible person; is it supposed to feel good? Do I need any other problem right now?

Vampire Owl: Dude, you are like so many centuries old. All the girls you were infatuated with are dead and buried now. Yes, we can call the Lich Queen to animate a few bones, but I don’t think that the right bones can be found from the exact graves. Plus, she can’t add the flesh to skeletons which are too old, and so it is also going to be a problem.

Vampire Bat: I am actually not that upset. Only the lightnings, weddings, baptisms, birthday parties and deaths reminds me of the same and brings depression to my soul. Then there is a little bit of the sadness when I eat tapioca biriyani, idiyappam with gravy, potato chips, appam with stew, puttu with kadala, masala dosa, poori masala, vegetable fried-rice, ghee roast, idli with sambar…..

Vampire Owl: Stop! It is like all the time! Like when there is rain or when there is no rain! Like when you are sleeping or when not sleeping! Or when you are drinking tea or not drinking tea! It is not part-time melancholy, but full-time!

Uncle Dracula [entering with an ice cream]: I know what the current problem is. You might have gone to meet our official vampire psychologist. I have no idea why you did that. He is just there as we have such a post. You needn’t take what he says seriously. He thinks that he knows everything, and that he is the master of every mind. But the truth is that, it is you who is the captain of your mind.

Vampire Bat: He said that because he studied Psychology, I will never be successful.

Vampire Owl: Because he studied Psychology, only he should be without success – how is it related to you? He is such an idiot. He thinks that he knows how we think, what we think and why we think. He also thinks that only he knows what is right and what is wrong. Does it automatically come from learning psychology?

Uncle Dracula: I once had a relative who studied the same. He said that he knows everything because he studied that subject and that everybody else has the right to remain stupid. He told me that he could predict what people were going to do and how much success that they can have. I got so irritated with him that I finally decided to drink his blood. That was an act of aggression, but he has turned good now.

Vampire Owl: The season of the bloody idiots who think that having a high-salary job as soon as possible and getting married are the only things needed in life is back. They think that they know us, but they don’t.

Vampire Bat: I wonder why they think that I haven’t ever tried. They are like I have never done anything good with my life yet. They glorify their own deeds and keep saying that only they and their children can be right.

Uncle Dracula: I see that the thunder and lightning are rather going through your mind and heart. Lets have a cup of tea and think further about it. Mavis has gone to sleep after sharpening her teeth. There is someone here that I want you to meet.

Vampire Owl: I shall have the masala tea with extra sugar.

I have been tagged by Maniparna to take part in the Five Photos Five Stories (FPFS) challenge. This challenge works like: You post pictures for five consecutive days (with possible discounts like sometimes changing to alternate days :D) and attach posts to it, fiction, poem or short write-up. It can be anything that suits your taste. I am also tagging my awesome blogger friend, Namrata on Day Two, as part of the challenge, and I will tag a new person on Day Three.

***The image used in this blog post was taken by me on my Sony Cybershot DSC-W310 camera.

Vampire Owl: Why did you teleport me here? I thought we would be travelling through India.

Vampire Bat: Isn’t it because William Shakespeare’s work, Henry VI, Part 3 Act 1, Scene 2 is set here? I can smell history and literature here.

Uncle Dracula: No, it is because I am going to use this imagery of the ruins as a base for what I am going to say. I can’t say this at most of the historical monuments in India because some people will consider me as an anti-nationalist at one place and some others will consider me against their religion at another place. This is more of a safe place and it is rather a civil war area. So, I can talk about this in peace.

Vampire Owl: Okay, then. Lets come to the point. My zombie minions are waiting. There are big plans for the weekend.

Uncle Dracula: I am speaking about your owlification procedure. Do you really need that? It is more like a war. We have our own vampire divisions among us, and being an extremist is not the right thing. Be a moderate. It is in our blood, as extremism is for the humans, and many other groups like werewolves. See how the humans have been going through their wars. See the remains of this battle or any of those meaningless things of hatred that the humans have committed, and they don’t even live forever.

Vampire Bat: Humans have been caught in their web of hatred for centuries. They will only kill each other for one reason or the other. When they don’t have religion, they will only find another reason. It has been going on through centuries as we have seen them.

Vampire Owl: But I am planning to save the world through a superior owl ideology.

Uncle Dracula: It is exactly the same as all those war-mongers say. There is no superior ideology which you can force into others through violence. Anything that is spread through violence cannot boast to be the right thing.

Vampire Bat: And the shedding of blood; it is the waste of our elixir of life, don’t you realize that feeling?

Uncle Dracula: If they like your ideology, they will follow you. For now, you seem like that person who forces your religion up-on others through swords, guns, daggers, dynamites and bombs. Don’t ever do that being part of the vampire family.

Vampire Bat: And stop trying to add special owl worship by spreading the idea that owls were the first creatures on Earth. That won’t sell.

Vampire Owl: What? Who told you that?

Vampire Bat: It was the Vampire Crocodile. He saw you installing a bronze statue of an owl with a sword on the eastern side of the Werewold prayer centre.

Vampire Owl: He is everywhere! One day, I am going to take him to Lake Placid.

Uncle Dracula: This is not about him; this is about you and our community. On this place where the Battle of Wakefield occured on 30 December 1460, I want you to take the pledge that you will never go extreme like the humans, and that never will you try to go for owlification again. I request that you never go for violence which can devastate the name of the vampire kind and make them seem as terrible as the humans. On this place where Richard, 3rd Duke of York, a great-grandson of King Edward III had fallen, you will take the oath of peace and non-violence.

Vampire Owl: Can I just do that tomorrow? Today is Good Friday, a holiday.

Vampire Bat: I see that he wants to start the war today itself after you enter your coffin.

Uncle Dracula: Right now, and you know that I don’t count days. I have lived in a coffin for so long without thinking about the days of no significance which passed through my immortality.

Vampire Owl: Okay, I take the oath in the name of our vampire elders not to be a violent extremist who goes for war and bring shame to the vampire-kind. Sounds good?

Uncle Dracula: I don’t like the way you said it, but I still want to believe that you can keep that oath.

I have been tagged by Maniparna to take part in the Five Photos Five Stories (FPFS) challenge. This challenge works like: You post pictures for five consecutive days (with possible discounts like sometimes changing to alternate days :D) and attach posts to it, fiction, poem or short write-up. It can be anything that suits your taste. I am also tagging my wonderful blogger friend, Ranjini on Day One, as part of the challenge, and I will tag a new person on Day Two.

***The image used in this blog post was taken by me on my Sony Cybershot DSC-W310 camera.

Vampire Owl: My dear vampire apprentices, in this class, it is my honour and great privilege to read this letter which was written by the Vampire Bat to Uncle Dracula when he was a little fang-less one, but was never sent. This comes as a part of the second semester Part IV paper twenty four. There will be annotation questions coming from this one. So, please listen carefully.

Dear Dracula Uncle,

I have read and understood how badly the humans have written about you or have shown on the big screen and made your kind the monsters when they were the actual monsters. It is sad and depressing that you made the wrong decision to shift from Romania. The world has too many racists among them who can’t approve of someone who is classified as “the other” with them. You were too kindhearted and simple, and never knew about that.

The only thing that you ever wanted was to shift from your very old castle and at the same time, go to a place which was known to be civilized. But you were unaware of the ways of the modern humans as you remained dead for so long, and the dirt told you no stories. You were new to this world after your resurrection and even Igor was a confused man. You picked the wrong assistant and that was another mistake.

The Vampire Cat is the first witness to this letter, and even tried to eat it.

But when you reached the so called civilized, you understood that “being civilized” is not achieved by money and random education. It requires true knowledge and wisdom and a certain amount of empathy for the fellow creatures. But human beings never had that and couldn’t adjust to your basic sympathetic nature. You tried to help Lucy Westenra, but as she was an aristocrat and you were an outsider, they made up a story that she was ill due to your bite when the truth was that she was already ill.

The man behind her problem was Dr. John Seward, who was very depressed that Lucy turned him down and decided to marry Arthur. He was slowly but steadily making Lucy sick and was also looking to make his patient Renfield feel as if some big evil was coming – he knew that you could understand the major reason behind her illness with your special powers as he had known about you from some gypsies from Eastern Europe.

Then he called for this man called Abraham Van Helsing, a Dutch doctor who had taken fake degrees from different universities, and was trying to make a name for himself. He was known to murder poor people and brand them as vampires, collecting big bounty from the rich ones. He also treated many people for vampirism, when there was no presence of such disease in them. A wolf attack was also attributed to you, at a time when the group of werewolves were just going on biting people for no reason.

Ezhilampala where the Vampire Bat used to reside and he even learned its scientific name.

Then there were the Harkers – Jonathan Harker and Mina Harker, earlier Mina Murray. They were big liars and as this man had described about the Dracula Castle to this lady, she wanted it as a wedding gift. You were a Count by name only, and used to be basically just a farmer who led many socialist movements at your land, and the authorities never really liked you either. So they teamed up with the Harkers to create such a story which depicted you as pure evil.

I know that they tried to end you, but as we all know, a vampire can be defeated, but cannot be destroyed as long as we have our team. I shall find you with the help of my vampire friends and resurrect you again, as we know the secret of your eternal youth. We shall undo the wrong that has been done to you, and let the humans know who their real enemies are. They are corruption, misogyny, racism, casteism and religious intolerance. You shall be back and we will find a way for getting the humanity out of its inherent evil.