The Ten Commandments

In faith-sharing series at Randolph parish, diocesan seminarian explores their moral implications

RANDOLPHEight parishioners sat around a table at St. Matthew the Apostle Church here on a cold night in early January, discussing a difficult subject — the moral implications of the Fifth Commandment: “Thou Shall Not Murder.” Far from shying away from tough topic, this dynamic group came alive, offering up insightful comments to — and pointed questions for — its engaging moderator, Deacon Paul Tomczyk.

Group members engaged in a fascinating two-hour conversation, exploring tough issues around the subjects of abortion, euthanasia, war, scandal and life itself. They posed many questions about the Fifth Commandment — part of an ongoing series of in-depth discussions about contemporary issues that involve the Ten Commandments. The friendly yet fiery session at St. Matthew’s was a continuation of an earlier conversation about “Thou Shall Not Murder” that was so intriguing, it ran overtime.

“The complexity of why we do the things we do can be overwhelming,” said Deacon Tomczyk, a diocesan seminarian at the Theological College, Washington, who anticipates being called to be ordained a priest of Paterson Diocese on Saturday, May 23. “To make moral decisions, you need to gather data in accordance with the Gospel — and not make rash judgments. I don’t want to present a lecture but faith sharing. I want to give people a way to live out their beliefs. What they do with the information is their own personal choice,” he said.

In fact, the conversations at these sessions have gotten so intriguing that the short series that Deacon Tomczyk expected to start and finish last summer continues. So far, he has guided participants through the first five Commandments. The Polish native, who has been serving the Morris County faith community, hopes to continue the series, which attracts up to 18 people per session, on his breaks from seminary.

“People ask questions, based on their experiences and what they read. I present the teachings of the Church. Sometimes, I have to admit that I don’t know the answer,” said Deacon Tomczyk.

The conversation explored, among many difficult topics, abortion. Sitting in front of a Bible and notes, Deacon Tomczyk emphasized the Church’s opposition to killing the unborn because of the undeniable right to life of the child in the womb. The dialogue also inspired many fascinating questions, like some about suicide. One woman wanted to know if Brittany Maynard, the 29-year-old terminally ill woman in Oregon who committed assisted suicide in November, committed a grave sin.

“The Church says that suicide unacceptable. It’s not in accordance with natural law to murder [even yourself]. But we must not condemn people who kill themselves. They may have emotional problems. Also, we do not know what they were thinking at the moment of their deaths. We need to remember that God is the ultimate judge and offers his mercy in many more ways that we can apprehend,” Deacon Tomczyk said.

Deacon Tomczyk then moved on to a discussion about more figurative type of murder: scandal. This includes engaging in gossip, setting a bad example for children or people outside the Church and promoting immoral acts, such as posting comments online in support of abortion.

That prompted one man to ask, “Can politicians support abortion to help them get elected with the belief that that they might make progress while in office on other worthy issues that the Church supports?”

“The end does not justify the means,” said Deacon Tomczyk. “The law needs to be at the service of human life. Catholic conscience would lead us to work to abolish it.”

Toward the end session, the group shifted its attention to the Sixth Commandment: “Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery.” Deacon Tomczyk established a theological foundation for the discussion by stressing that the Church does not oppose the sexual act.

“Sex between spouses is a beautiful thing if understood well by them. The body expresses the love that spouses have for each other — not merely as a way for them to satisfy their physical desires,” said Deacon Tomczyk, who developed the series with Father Daniel Murphy, St. Matthew’s pastor.

These periodic discussions of contemporary moral issues has fascinated members of the group, including 22-year-old Annamarie Frenades, a recent graduate of Seton Hall University, South Orange. Especially fiery was the earlier session on the Fifth Command­ment, which found members exploring almost every situation, in which killing would be — or would not be — justified, she said.

“As a practicing Catholic, I love learning about my faith. This [series] has expanded on what I already have been taught,” said Frenades, who also noted that she receives “different perspectives” from the three generations of Catholics, who sit around the discussion table. “With everything that our new pope, Francis, has been saying, we need to keep up to date.”