You eat what you are 2 – what your pizza says about you

August 2, 2013 - Burton Cole (humor columnist)

Welcome back for another helping of you eat what you are. You know that sometimes your food talks back. Well, it turns out it's telling tales about your personality.

This is Part 2 of a series of entrees based on last Sunday's “Burt's Eye View” that gave a sampler of behavioral research and food choices. We nibbled on a few tidbits of a variety pack of research. In this series of blogs, we'll look at the full report.

Today, it's pizza.

Last October, psychologist and pizza lover Brandon Willis told Louie G at Wild 104 radio in Binghamton, N.Y., that he can a lot about a person over the tablecloth. Here's his list:

* Plain cheese – Nope, you're not bland and boring. Plain cheese people see right through all the trivialities, glitz, glamor and flashes in the pizza pan. They “get to the fundamental underlying principles,” Willis told Louie G. But plain cheese people can tend to be a bit cynical.

* Pepperoni – It's everybody's favorite, but why? Because it's the one topping that's a group favorite. Pepperoni people are willing to give up what they really want to make others happy. If they're not careful, they can be lead to and fro with all their will sucked right out of them, Willis says.

* Sausage – You tell it like it is and let the sausage fall where it may. Willis warns that if this is you, you better learn to temper your honesty with compassion, or you might be wearing your sausage pizza. Or at least your friends will stop talking to you.

* Green Peppers – Hey, chill, baby. It's all good. Green pepper people ease right down the middle of the road, according to Willis. Extreme views and courses of action make them uneasy. Green pepper people are stable and reliable, but, says Willis, they're going to have to learn to take a risk or two. If they do, they just might become...

* Onions – Onion munchers love adventure. The people eating the other toppings are attracted to onion munchers because of their gung-ho, take-charge, can-do spirit, Willis says. Onion people ought to think about the Aesop's frog and the well and look before they leap into everything.

* Mushrooms – Mushroom lovers don't crave praise, Willis says. They are hard workers who bask in the glow of a job well done. That's exactly why they end up doing everyone else's work. Want something done: Give it to a busy person – or to someone who takes his pizza with mushrooms.

* Specialty items – These folks are the trendsetters. They love different things, even oddball toppings, and love to go for it. And they could end up rather on the poor side from blowing all their resources chasing fads and fancies, Willis says.

* Desert Items – People who pile fruit and confectioner's sugar on their pizzas are nostalgic and sentimental, full of compassion, Willis told Louie G. But they really want comfort and security, which could get in the way of success.

* Anchovies – Inconclusive. More research needs done. “For what it's worth, I think people who put anchovies on their pizzas should consider professional counseling,” Willis said.

There you have it, the pizza chronicles. Coming next in our survey of food and personality traits – what your choice of cookies says about your traits, good and annoying.