Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Thank you for coming to our comedy hour. We hope this hour will be entertaining. We are old and not going to waste the precious time we have left figuring out how to do a fancy vote thingy. We have sunbeams to lay in and food to whine for. Vote for your favourite joke by leaving a comment below. We have a prize for the person with the most votes. Voting will close on January 2nd at 6 pm EST. Any comments after that time won't count. We are giving 2 days to vote so if you have a little too much holiday cheer and are having trouble using the computer you have some time to recover.

The entries are in the order (or close to the order) we received them, so they are random.

A woman was driving down the road when she saw a delivery truck broken down on the side of the road. She asked if she could help. And the driver said, "I've got to wait here for a tow, but I've got a load of penguins I have to take to the zoo. If I give you $50, could you take them?"

"Sure", she said and filled her car with the penguins.

Soon she was pulled over by the police and informed that she couldn't drive around with unrestrained penguins in her car.

She explained that she was taking them to the zoo, so the policeman let her go.

The next day, the policeman was shocked and annoyed to see her again with the penguins. He pulled her over and said "Yesterday, you told me you were taking these penguins to the zoo and here you are driving around with them again!!

"Yes, I did, and we had such a good time, I'm taking them to the movies today".

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.

'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.

"My dog is so smart," says the first peep, "that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He tips the kid and then brings the newspaper to me, along with my morning coffee."

"I know," says the second peep.

"How do you know?"

"My dog told me."----------

Why do squirrels swin on there back?

To keep their nuts dry!

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There were four county churches in a small Scottish town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with Gods divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a large plywood cover on the baptistery and flood it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of Gods creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But the Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Comedian #7 Up next is Wyatt and Stanzie from http://wyattgardens.blogspot.ca

Dog License

During a country-wide drive to round up al unlicensed dogs,
a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb.

When the drive asked why he had been stopped, the officer
pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, “Des your dog
have a license?”

“No,” the man said, “He doesn’t need one.”

“Yes, he does,” answered the officer.

“But,” said the driver, “I always do all the driving.”

Canine Complex

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr.
Heidber, and sat down to explain his problem.

“Doctor, doctor! I’ve got this problem, the main said. “I
keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know what to do!”

“A common canine complex,” said the doctor soothingly. “Relax.
Come here and lie down on the couch.”

“Oh, no, Doctor,” the man said nervously. “I’m not allowed
up on the furniture.”

Clever Dog

A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, “We’ve got
such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.”

Hey everyone! Wow, it’s nice to be here with all of you for Blogville’s New Year’s Eve Bash. I'm Sarge.

New Year’s is a fun time, isn’t it? Yeah, it can be a little difficult too if you hit the bar too hard. Last year a furiend of mine was staggering home after an Eve party and got stopped by a local cop. The cop says to him “What are you doing out here at four in the morning?” My buddy says “I’m on my way to a lecture.” The cop says “And who on earth in their right mind is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Eve?” My buddy slurred “My WIFE!”

I had another friend who was spending last New Year’s Eve in her favorite pub when she suddenly felt all festive and happy. She jumped up on the bar and announced that at midnight she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Yeah, at the stroke of midnight the bartender was nearly crushed to death! BWAR HAR HAR

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. Isn’t it?!? New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper!

My Mom’s a blonde…did you know that? She loves a good blonde joke, so here are a few I think you’ll like too.

A redhead tells her blonde sister, "I slept with a Brazilian."The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech?A: A blonde at a flashing red light

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?A: She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.

Thanks for being here everyone! I appreciate the laughs. Enjoy the rest of the show folks!

Lee:
I resolve to demand more belly rubs and treats. I resolve to listen only when I feel like it. I resolve to sleep on the Lady's legs and make her uncomfortable. I resolve to beat to my own drummer and do what I want, which may or may not include destroying things.

Zaphod:
I resolve to play more fetch and listen to my people and let them love and brush me.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

2012 was our year of change. New car, new house, new province, new dog, significant lifestyle changes . . . it was a little overwhelming. I had resolved for 2013 to have a little less change, and that did happen. 2013 was about building routines in the new house and province.

While 2013 was not as "eventful" in many ways, it was overall a great year. We were lucky to be a healthy and usually happy pack.

Here are a few of our favourite memories:

All our time with Emma - she did live with us for several months

Hours of playing ball with Zaphod (he is reminding us to bring the ball outside). He
didn't enjoy the 12 weeks he didn't get to play due to an injury

Lady's trip to Calgary and Banff - less than 2 weeks before the devastating floods in the area

Friday, December 27, 2013

First, today is the last day to send your name, name of your blog, joke(s) and pictures to leeandphodATbellDOTnet to join us for the New Year's Eve comedy hour. There is a prize for best joke, so don't be shy, send them in!

We hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Clearly we made the nice list! Lady says we are too spoiled.

We were part of the pawsome gift exchange organized by Jazzi. We were paired with Broo, Bentley and Ozzy from http://fillysbestfriend.blogspot.ca. These were new friends for us and we studied their blog to learn more about them. Their Lady has horses and does horse shows and things like that, that we knew nothing about, so it has been neat to learn about that and them. We still aren't sure we love the horses across the road, but we are trying.

We were very excited on Christmas eve to receive this:

Smells good!

Emma trying to take our mat. Lady laughed hard when she saw this causewe sent them the same one! Great minds think alike

Our gifts on the counter so Emma couldn't steal them. We can't waitto try all the treats. The pink ball is now Phod's favourite toy in the world.

THANK YOU BROO, BENTLEY AND OZZY

Uncle Chris and Emma brought us stockings filled with treats. Here are a few:

World's biggest raw hide

a little raw hide

Thank you Uncle Chris and Emma

Finally, Santa came. We were a little nervous cause we weren't sure if we had been nice enough, but we had.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

While I know Hailey and Zaphod would love to show their gifts (and I promised them they could do their thank yous tomorrow), today is about a very special gift.

In September I contacted Bree from Cowspotdogs (click here to find out more) to create a very special gift for the Man. For those of you who don't know Bree, she is an amazing artist who does paintings of dogs and donates proceeds to various animal charities. I thought this would be a great gift for the Man. So she did the paintings and I have been keeping them a secret for almost 4 months. I hate secrets and was so excited about them it was so hard, but I did and Man was thrilled!

Here they are:

Thank you Bree for creating these beautiful works we will treasure always!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

First let us send our best to our friends in southern Ontario, especially the Toronto area, who were hit by a terrible ice storm on the weekend. We have heard it could be days before everyone has power again. We lived without power for 72 hours last year right before Christmas, so we know how this sucks. We hope it comes back soon. Thanks to all the extra people who are working Christmas Eve and Christmas day to help get the power back.

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Lady says that Christmas is all about the giving and we agree. It is nice to brighten the day of others. We hope our pals in the gift exchanged like what we sent. We hope Emma will like what we put under the tree for her and we hope Panda and Lupul (Aunt C's cats) are gonna like our gift to them.

That being said, we have enjoyed some early Christmas gifts. Here they are (we will do formal reviews of some in the New Year).

First, our good friend Missy G (she is a friend who is like another grandma to Lady) sent us Christmas money. Since someone had peed on one of our beds and washing it kinda made it bumpy, Lady thought we should get a new bed for in front of the fire. Here we are trying the Costco bed (we love this brand of beds) in the dining room. [It is now right side up by the fire].

THANK YOU MISSY G!

Because we are completely spoiled and deserving pups, Lady and Man gave us some new puzzle type toys.

Monday, December 23, 2013

The Christmas tree - it is fake, 15 feet tall. It is in our living room.

This is the Hanukkah tree. It is suppose to be an upside down. Lady has decorated it
in blue and silver and Hanukkah things. It is in our dining room.

Lights on the railing in the dining room, looking down into the living room.

The fireplace in the living room. The stockings are hung with care!

Our wall of cards - this year they are covering the pantry doors in the kitchen

The house is all ready. Our cousin Emma and Uncle Chris are coming today until noonish on the 25th. Then we are alone until the 28th when Aunt C and Uncle D come to celebrate. Lady says it is a whole week of celebrating!

We will be around over the holidays and will stop by those of you who are also around.

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About Us

This is the adventures of an average Lady, her Man, and two dogs.
Feel free to email us at leeandphod@bell.net [That is Lee and Phod!]
The pictures and content here belong to our Lady. Do not use without permission.