Amazing. In nine games as a Patriot, Shayne Graham never once had to attempt a clutch field goal. And he never will.

Danny DeVito plays the lead in “The Stan Van Gundy Story,’’ correct?

Over/under for combined doubles total of Adrian Gonzalez and Dustin Pedroia: 110.

Prediction: Remedial tackling will be all the rage in 2011 NFL training camps — whenever they begin.

Speaking of which, is there any other way of looking at these ghastly NFL labor negotiations other than the owners feel that last time they gave away, not just the store, but the entire shopping mall, and now they want the players to bail them out?

Are you praying for an OT Sunday as much as I am? We need to see how these ultraconservative coaches will handle the new rules.

Was Aaron Hernandez kidnapped last Sunday and no one told us?

The scary thing about Blake Griffin is that he is still in a postoperative stage following surgery for a broken kneecap. He may actually jump higher next year.

Zdeno Chara and Ray Allen may be the two most physically fit players in their leagues. If the Bruins and Celtics win, we can send them to Five Guys for some cheeseburgers and fries to celebrate.

I must say I can’t wait to see how this whole Red Sox bullpen thing plays out. There’s a lot of Papelbon insurance hanging around.

When do you think we’ll next hear Wes Welker open his mouth? 2015?

A new definition of shameless: Brett Favre trying to weasel his way back into the good graces of the Green Bay Packers.

Who among us will live long enough to see the day when a fumble is a fumble? It’s not that NFL officials are so bad; it’s that they are being asked to enforce ludicrous rules regarding possession of the football.

If I were an NBA coach, Derrick Rose wouldn’t impress me. He would terrify me.

Has any 38-year-old luminary ever committed more terrible fouls than Shaq? Or is the real question, “Why doesn’t a 38-year-old legend get more love from the officials?’’ Either way, he needs to stay on the floor longer.

We need an act of Congress to mandate that neither Jeff Van Gundy nor Jon Gruden can ever leave his broadcast perch for a return to coaching. They serve a far better general purpose for mankind in their current capacities than they ever could working for a team.

Do people in the college hockey world really think we’ll allow the NCAA championship to leave Boston?

Accept as a given that all kids have heard the few bad words — they’re essential to the story — and then take your schoolchild to see “The King’s Speech.’’ It’s a fascinating history lesson, and it’s a truly great movie.

Lots of candidates to play the lead in “The Rex Ryan Story,’’ but I’m leaning toward John Goodman.

Boston College has had a 50-year run of great college guards (starting with Chuck Chevalier and including 11 who have spent time in either the ABA or NBA), but none have been as athletic or explosive as Reggie Jackson.

I must ask: Is there even one African-American male between 20 and 70 who doesn’t think he merits Denzel Washington as the lead in his life story?

Attention, Harvard basketball team: 56 years is long enough. It’s time for you to win your school’s first Ivy League title. You’re the only team in the league not to have won at least one.

After you watch “Black Swan,’’ the NFL will look like a church social.

I think that long-discussed and much-needed statue of Bill Russell would look good in Boston Common.

We need to see more of that snappy chapeau Claude Julien wore during last year’s Winter Classic.

Has any team, anywhere, at any time in history, ever messed up a valued prospect as badly as the Yankees have Joba Chamberlain?