Okay, it's Wednesday and not Monday, but this came up in my "news for you" on my yahoo homepage......where they track what you read and look at, and funnel articles to you accordingly.

I thought it was excellent, saved it, and also sent it to my kids....who tend to not be in victim mode, but the words of others can sometimes jog us just a bit when we most need it.

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The difference between a happy and unhappy life is how often and how long we stay there.

Here are the 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.

1. Your default belief is that life is hard.

Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times with an attitude of curiosity versus victimhood. They take responsibility for how they got themselves into a mess, and focus on getting themselves out of it as soon as possible.

Perseverance towards problem versus complaining over circumstances is a symptom of a happy person. Unhappy people see themselves as victims of life and stay stuck in the "look what happened to me" attitude versus finding a way through and out the other side.

2. You believe most people can't be trusted.

I won't argue that healthy discernment is important, but most happy people are trusting of their fellow man. They believe in the good in people, versus assuming everyone is out to get them. Generally open and friendly towards people they meet, happy people foster a sense of community around themselves and meet new people with an open heart.

Unhappy people are distrustful of most people they meet and assume that strangers can't be trusted. Unfortunately this behavior slowly starts to close the door on any connection outside of an inner-circle and thwarts all chances of meeting new friends.

3. You concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right.

There's plenty wrong with this world, no arguments here, yet unhappy people turn a blind eye to what's actually right in this world and instead focus on what's wrong. You can spot them a mile away, they'll be the ones complaining and responding to any positive attributes of our world with "yeah but".

Happy people are aware of global issues, but balance their concern with also seeing what's right. I like to call this keeping both eyes open. Unhappy people tend to close one eye towards anything good in this world in fear they might be distracted from what's wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know our world has problems and they also keep an eye on what's right.

4. You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.

Unhappy people believe someone else's good fortune steals from their own. They believe there's not enough goodness to go around and constantly compare yours against theirs. This leads to jealousy and resentment.

Happy people know that your good luck and circumstance are merely signs of what they too can aspire to achieve. Happy people believe they carry a unique blueprint that can't be duplicated or stolen from -- by anyone on the planet. They believe in unlimited possibilities and don't get bogged down by thinking one person's good fortune limits their possible outcome in life.

5. You strive to control your life.

There's a difference between control and striving to achieve our goals. Happy people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the end, there's very little control over what life throws their way.

Unhappy people tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall apart in dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy people can be just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with the flow and not melt down when life delivers a curve-ball.

The key here is to be goal-oriented and focused, but allow room for letting sh*t happen without falling apart when the best laid plans go awry- because they will. Going with the flow is what happy people have as plan B.

6 You consider your future with worry and fear.

There's only so much rent space between your ears. Unhappy people fill their thoughts with what could go wrong versus what might go right.

Happy people take on a healthy dose of delusion and allow themselves to daydream about what they'd like to have life unfold for them. Unhappy people fill that head space with constant worry and fear.

Happy people experience fear and worry, but make an important distinction between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry crosses a happy person's mind, they'll ask themselves if there's an action they can be taken to prevent their fear or worry from happening (there's responsibility again) and they take it. If not, they realize they're spinning in fear and they lay it down.

7. You fill your conversations with gossip and complaints.

Unhappy people like to live in the past. What's happened to them and life's hardships are their conversation of choice. When they run out of things to say, they'll turn to other people's lives and gossip.

Happy people live in the now and dream about the future. You can feel their positive vibe from across the room. They're excited about something they're working on, grateful for what they have and dreaming about the possibilities of life.

Obviously none of us are perfect. We're all going to swim in negative waters once in a while, but what matters is how long we stay there and how quickly we work to get ourselves out. Practicing positive habits daily is what sets happy people apart from unhappy people, not doing everything perfectly.

Walk, fall down, get back up again, repeat. It's in the getting back up again where all the difference resides.

..................................

Maggie

__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️

The difference between a happy and unhappy life is how often and how long we stay there.

Here are the 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.

1. Your default belief is that life is hard.
2. You believe most people can't be trusted.
3. You concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right.
4. You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.
5. You strive to control your life.
6 You consider your future with worry and fear.
7. You fill your conversations with gossip and complaints.

This ties in with something I've said on more than one occasion:
"The only real difference between a disaster and an adventure is how you tell the story when it's over."
I've had plenty of disasters in my life, not all of them of my own making, though a surprising number were my own danged fault. But with a little time and a little perspective on things, every one of them has become an adventure, and they've all led me to where I am now. If any one of them hadn't happened then, I'd probably be worse off today.

I have a highly negative close relation that I would like to send this to, but am going to resist the temptation.

I once said that she makes a lifestyle out of being offended, which of course is true!, but she cannot see it and needless to say did not take it well.

Some people are like oil spills, breeding and spreading toxicity thru negativity, wherever they go. I don't want to be one of those people, and really find it helpful to read things like this.

I read someplace in recent months that it is impossible to be both grateful and depressed....I don't know that that is totally true, but am here to tell you that our attitudes in bad times make all the difference in how we and whether we get thru and beyond them. And, how we perceive ourselves once the storm passes.

Anyway, enuf said....I just really liked this, and thought others might get some benefit from it as well.

Maggie

__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️

I, too, know that it is Wednesday but somehow I have missed this thread until just now. So I will contribute this on living a centered life:

“Equanimity has everything to do with expansiveness: how much room can you make in your body, heart, mind, and life for reality as it is in this moment.”
— Rabbi Rami Shapiro, The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness