I’m going to have to renege my comment about going a lifetime without seeing Lilly Pulitzer again. After seeing this caftan, I’m willing to compromise. It is so granny-chic, man! So Palm Beach that it’s almost irresistable.

On the site, it even says “we suggest wearing with bare feet and glamorous earrings.” Hello! I’m a sucker for bare feet (pretty ones, and outside of office settings, obviously)! Before I even read the bare feet comment, I pictured the lady wearing this to be teetering around on that kind of grass that is so manicured it’s like soft, spongey chia growth. Golf course green grass.

[Lilly Pulitzer “Colebrook” print caftan, $268.]

Try to keep yourself from picturing a coiffed grey ‘do on top of this caftan. I know you can do it.

Instead, picture this caftan with Kenneth Jay Lane—drinking Veuve Clicquot straight from the bottle—screaming drunkenly at the kids for running around the onyx-tiled pool deck—smacking the bottom of a very fit pool boy.

Normally I wouldn’t jump at something like this, especially considering it comes from Lilly Pulitzer, an institution I eschewed since I OD’d on it at Hollins University. I could go a lifetime. But anyway, there is something rebellious and punky about it:

Well, obviously. It looks like someone drew all over the walls.

I’m imagining it in sage/olive/grey green with yellow script against a wood floor in an awesome walk-in closet—you know, the kind with a couch and island in the center with a million drawers you’d have to leverage your car to fill? And it wouldn’t be cursive, it would be Rob’s architectural handwriting, all caps, listing all my favorite designers, and the dates and locations of our favorite trips, vineyards, names of exotic mushrooms, and important phone numbers like the High Line Ferry ticket office on Nantucket.

So I broke the fast and bought two things. But before you go huffing at me like I’m some kind of relapsed addict, there’s a story.

The description said "What trip to the Riviera would be complete without these?" so I had to have them.

First, this pair of nylon Elizabeth & James (the Olsen’s line) shorts has been in my shopbop wishlist for 6 or so months. Since it appeared that no one was visiting my wishlist or buying anything off of it, I took matters into my own hands and went to ebay. Ebay and I had a nasty divorce last winter when some unseen shipping charges sent an innocent (albeit drunken) couple of purchases beyond the $200 mark and I had to remove it from my bookmarks bar. But this time, I found the shorts in question for $49.99.

They weren't working with our color scheme.

But I managed to get them for nothing by selling these old Lilly Pulitzer placemats of my granny’s that have been packed away since I rescued them from her house in a big move a few years back.

Finally got her!

Then I blew it and got this slightly more expensive Vena Cava chiffon t-shirt from a sale on Gilt Groupe. If you don’t participate in that, e-mail me and I’ll send you a referral. It’s so brilliant.