Grapelogic's Guide to Fireworks: Burn Ward Edition

Fireworks are an important part of democracy. That is why I have dug up 5 videos from the sweaty crack of eBaumsworld to highlight some of the most outrageous mishaps ever to be caused by this great American tradition from China.

When people are engaged in a
sex act, our first instinct is to launch artillery at them. I'm pretty
sure that is how the Cuban Missile Crisis began. It's basic biology: by preventing another dude from having sex, we have a slightly better chance of impregnating the female with our DNA instead! Bwahahahaha.

Apparently, young heterosexual males like to socialize by thrusting phallic objects between their legs. As long as said thrust is powered by rocket propulsion, it isn't gay! "Yo, dude got sodomized by that dildo missile! Mad respect!"

It would be funny if terrorists were the ones who blew up the fireworks stand, because fireworks are the one symbol of America that is supposed to explode. Most patriotic terrorist attack ever! Also it was an illegal fireworks stand so everybody got what they deserved.