John Schoneboom

John Schoneboom is a bipedal anthropoid who revels in the sensitivity
of his own fingertips. Ask him for his card; he's probably got a David
Wright in his wallet.

John reckons if you've got a friend who's gone missing and could
potentially be dead, god forbid, and it's the fourth quarter of game four
and the Lakers have cut the Celtics' lead to single digits, everyone
should lay off trying to get him to talk about the friend. If they're dead, it's
obviously a real tragedy, but they'll be just as dead after the game is
finished.

Proudest accomplishment? Good at memorizing. He can quote you a lot of Bugs Bunny lines. I mean, a
LOT of Bugs Bunny lines. You know what I'm saying?