Relationships Posts

May 09, 2012

Satisfying a woman sexually isn’t rocket science, but men just keep doing the same-old, same-old without trying to educate themselves on what woman want. That male-ego subborness results in anger, confustion and frustration for both the man and the woman.

Men have to learn to ask for specific directions from someone who knows how to get where they want to go. Typically they are getting their sex tips from porn and men’s magazines. So, let’s face it – the average man is CLUELESS on how to satisfy a woman.

The only way to learn how to please a woman sexually isinformationfrom other women.

Men really don’t have any idea what they’re missing, one man admits. He says, “a completely satisfied woman is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.” He’s right! When the lady is happy the world is a happier place for everyone.

I am not a sexologist but if you want to learn everything you can about female sexuality, I suggest you check out this site. Betty Dodson, author, and PhD sexologist has been one of the principal voices for women’s sexual pleasure and health for over three decades. Both Betty and her partner Carlin Ross believe the following:

* Masturbation is the foundation for all human sexual activity.

* Sexual repression begins with the prohibition of childhood masturbation.

* Every individual is entitled to contraception. Intentional motherhood is essential for the health and well being of women, children, men and the planet.

* Comprehensive sex education that includes information on how to achieve sexual pleasure in a variety of sex styles and relationships.

* Feedom to choose from a range of different lifestyles such as remaining single, couples living together casually, monogamous or open marriages and all variations of communal living based upon personal choice.

* The concept of beauty is arbitrary and controlled by corporations that prey on women’s lack of self-esteem.

* Sexual pleasure and orgasm is the source of life and creativity. As we awaken our bodies through the senses, we awaken our minds to the knowledge that we are all related and connected to every living thing on planet Earth and throughout the vast universe.

Both men and women will learn volumes about women’s sexuality by reseraching their site.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

May 04, 2012

Female orgams are confusing and all the reserach being done to understand them isn’t making it more clear, at least to me. I don’t know why but the female orgasm has always been a bit of a mystery. For starters, no one seems to know exactly why women have them — or don’t, as the case may be.

We as women are supposedly the more sensitive sex. We differ from the male ‘players’ and are, supposed to be more likely to achieve orgasm with someone we know and trust. But is that really true?

Recently I wrote a blog about women having orgasms while they were working out in the gym. These orgasms were quite unexpected and not the result of sexual thoughts or physical stimulation. The exercises which hit the spot centred around the core abdominal muscles — produced this phenomenon and given the name ‘coregasm’.

The female orgasm is as diverse as it is fascinating, and we’re still a long way from understanding it. But, I do believe that women are able to experience a feeling of sexual arousal every bit as easily and intensely as men can.

For too long, our views on the female orgasm have been mired in misconceptions based on old-fashioned ideas of how women should behave. Science just doesn’t bear most of it out.

The truth is, very little research has ever been done into women’s sexuality. And what research was done, for example by Masters and Johnson in the Fifties — the ‘pioneers’ who recorded some of the first laboratory data on the anatomy and physiology of human sexual response — was very heavily influenced by the culture of the time, which assumed that women didn’t really enjoy sex.

They were right in a way. Many women didn’t. But how much of this was because both sexes were so ignorant about the mechanics of the female body?

‘The biggest factor regarding whether an older woman was enjoying an active sex life was whether or not she had a new partner’.

A generation ago, most people hadn’t even heard of female erogenous zones and, if they had, they certainly didn’t talk about them. In fact, to this day, there’s still debate over whether the G-spot even exists, let alone what its actual role is during orgasm.

So thank heavens scientists are finally exploring the issue of what happens to a woman’s body during sex coolly and objectively. Some of the findings have been pretty explosive.

Australian psychiatrist Prof Lorraine Dennerstein recently embarked on a large-scale study of the sexual responses and habits of menopausal women, which will revisit them over many years.

Many hoped that Dennerstein and her colleagues would find some kind of smoking gun — something lacking in older women that could be linked to a decrease in sexual desire as women aged.

Instead, she found something more curious. The biggest factor regarding whether an older woman was enjoying an active sex life? Not her weight, her health, or even her hormonal status. It was whether or not she had a new partner.

That’s right — women enjoyed more orgasms if they were having sex with a new man.

Other studies have shown, that some women can climax purely by having less obvious parts of their body stimulated, such as their breasts. There is also scientific backing for the idea that for females, sexual satisfaction is ‘literally all in the mind’.

Emerita Professor Beverly Whipple at Rutgers University, in the U.S. — who pioneered the discovery of the G-spot in 1982 — found in 2004 how some women with spinal injuries can have orgasms simply by thinking themselves into the mood.

In short, the biggest sexual organ could well be the brain.

The implication is that women’s brains behave differently when experiencing pleasure according to whether they are alone or with a partner. It also suggests that a woman’s solo orgasm may be different to one she experiences with another person.

Perhaps the most important message is that when it comes to discovering how our bodies work, we are at the start of a long and fascinating journey.

A workout at the gym? A series of sexy thoughts? A loving evening under the marital duvet with a long-term partner, or a passionate clash with a new boyfriend? They all have their ways of leaving us satisfied.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

April 25, 2012

Women often wonder if they are making the right choice – especially when it comes to their man. Yes, at the beginning everything is glorious, but when you take off the rose-colored glasses you may not be so sure. Your dream man too often can morph into your worst nightmare.

Here’s eight ways that can help you to decide if you are heading down the right road with the right guy.

1. Comfortability – You may have just met him but feel you have known him for years.

2. Meeting of the minds – Your goals, morals and ethics are pretty much rooted in the same beliefs.

3. Mutual respect and admiration- You encourage each other to be the best you can be - not compete for who’s the alpha dog..

4. Acceptance – You accept each other for who you are - warts and all. If he is constantly criticizing you or correcting you – run for the hills!!

5. Forgiveness Without Resentment – It’s easy to say you forgive your man but be very sure you are not building up a wall of resentment when you do.

6. Sexual Combatability – You can’t fake it – either it’s there or it isn’t. Don’t shortchange yourself.

7. Strength of Character - You deserve a stand-up guy. Someone who doesn’t just talk the talk but has demonstrated that he will be there for you in good times and bad.

8. Financially Responsible - You want a guy who earns and spends his money wisely. Of course, you have to be on that same responsibility track yourself. You know how dicey money problems can get.

Relationships are tough. Be open and honest right from the start and you will definetely have a leg up on happiness.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

April 20, 2012

Who knew that the woman who just wrote this year’s most popular erotic novel to be the shy type and yet writer E.L. James is modesty to the core.

Despite the explicit content of her bestselling book, Fifty Shades of Grey, the author is still reeling at the unprecedented success and still doubles up in embarrassed laughter talking about it.

During an interview in Paris, the cheerful but self-deprecating British author admitted that she finds it ‘excruciating’ to discuss the fine points of the novel and called the work her own personal ‘mid-life crisis.’

Talking to TODAY, the former television producer and suburban mother who wrote the Fifty Shades trilogy in two years, said she had no idea why it had sparked such a phenomenon as, as far as she can see, there is nothing revolutionary about it.

Asked whether she knew it would be such a hit, Ms James laughed: ‘No, not at all. I was amazed. I am stunned by its popularity.’ But she admitted the process was all-consuming as over the course of two years she did nothing but write, composing notes on her phone when she was out and ‘beaming’ them onto her Mac when she got home.

Joking about her unorthodox work method she smiled cheekily when asked if wine helped the flow of raunchy ideas, and said: ‘I always need a couple of glasses of wine’.

The lurid tale of sexual submission has been a sensation among women everywhere. While women have admitted to squirming in their seat on reading the lurid tale of Anastasia Steele and her sadomasochistic millionaire boyfriend Christian Grey, Ms James is not so forthcoming with her feelings on the subject matter.

Though she does admit the book is her ‘midlife crisis in Technicolor. All my fantasies are out there. When it came to talking about real life however, the author opened up about what she feels women really want.

‘I think in real life you want someone very, very different. You want someone who does the dishes,’ she said before adding that the reason her hero is rich and domineering is because ‘that’s really attractive on paper.’

The book that sold a staggering two million copies in one month realizes the secret fantasy of the submissive sexual encounter, a longing that many women may indeed harbor.

Ms James agreed: ‘Once you’re in charge of your job, your house, your children, getting food on the table, doing all of this all of the time, it would be nice for someone else to just be in charge for a little while.

Now Lifetime is doing a talk show based on the book and a movie may be in the works as well. Hmm - maybe I should drop everything I’m doing and get all my sexual fantasies down on paper.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

April 16, 2012

If you are looking for the perfect partner or trying to be one – think twice. Perfection is painfully unrealistic for individuals and emotionally costly for couples.. While there is no doubt that striving to be your personal best and feeling good about your efforts is healthy as well as relationship enhancing – perfectionism is something else.

Perfectionism is the belief that a state of completeness and flawlessness can and should be attained. The literature on perfectionism underscores that there is an important difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. It is a difference worth considering.

Adaptive Perfectionism involves striving for high standards as motivational and encouraging but there is choice in the pursuit.

Maladaptive perfectionism is different. Those with maladaptive perfectionism don’t really have a choice to strive or excel. They have a pervasive need to achieve an unrealistic standard of perfection as a proof of self-worth. This is the woman who can’t invite friends for dinner because she demands that she cook complicated gourmet recipes and fears failure. This is the partner who avoids sexuality because she is not yet the perfect weight. This is the man who can never enjoy a family vacation because nothing is ever perfect. Frequently those with maladaptive perfectionism have unrealistic expectations of the significant others in their lives. If their partner is not the most successful, the center of the party, the most desirable, the most intelligent etc., their fragile self-worth is compromised.

Just reading the definitions may be an important first step in identification of a pattern.

Couple relationships can replay or replace early attachment patterns and they can exacerbate the maladaptive need to be perfect with critique, competitive demands and unrealistic expectations. Recognizing the things that are interfering with your happiness – and agreeing to work together – may reduce blame and double your chances of success.

You can build a secure attachment as you work together using some techniques for reducing perfectionism. Lower anxiety by recognizing that addressing perfectionism does not equate to accepting mediocrity – it equates to striving without suffering. Agree to risk trying just a few new things. Agree to risk making mistakes together.

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

April 09, 2012

If you are a woman who has worked hard to achieve success, you probably will become deeply frustrated when you discover you can no longer satisfy your desires as quickly as you might like. It feels like you are stuck and don’t appreciate that these delays may be laying the foundation for future accomplishments that you have not yet conceived. Or the universe may have plans for you that differ from the worldly aspirations you have pursued up until this point.

Clearly, our self-created timetable and the timetable the universe has set up for us are on two different tracks. However, every person fulfills their purpose when the time is right.

When delays in our progress kindle pangs of disappointment or the pace of life seems overwhelming, peace can be found in the simple fact that we are exactly where we need to be at this moment.

Allow yourself to embrace a postponement of progress as an auspicious opportunity to prepare for what is yet to come. If, however, you feel as though the universe is pushing you forward at too fast a clip, you may be unwittingly resisting your destiny.

Your unease regarding the speed of your progress could be a sign that you need to cultivate awareness within yourself and learn to move with the flow of fate rather than against it. The universe puts nothing in your path that you are incapable of handling, so you can rest assured that you are ready to grow into your new situation.

You may feel compelled to judge your personal success using your age, your professional position, your level of education, or the accomplishments of your peers as a yardstick. Yet we all enjoy the major milestones in our lives at the appropriate time; some realize their dreams as youngsters while others flourish only in old age. If you take pride in your many accomplishments and make the most of every circumstance in which you find yourself, your time will come.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

April 02, 2012

The amount of sex on television isn’t going to be cut down anytime soon as Lifetime announced “7 Days of Sex” a show that challenges couples to report back about their nightly trysts. It appear that Lifetime believes the only way to attract viewers is to resort to having lots of sexual content. Another upcoming show is ‘The Client List’ which is about a real life mom-turned-prostitute.

7 Days of Sex, will highlight couples who have hit a breaking point in their relationship and are trying to save their marriage by having sex every night for one week. According to the network, the couples will ‘attempt to make radical fixes to their troubled relationships by asking the frank question: can a diet of daily sex help them recharge their marriage?

Each episode will feature two couples and see how their relationship progresses over the course of their given week. If only it was that simple.

Lifetime says, “‘7 Days of Sex is a reflection of the challenges in our relationships — balancing time, family, work and trying to achieve real intimacy while being honest and true to ourselves.”

If you are interested enought to tune in, the première episode airs on April 26th.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 30, 2012

The more I listen to people, the more I learn. In fact, I learn more by listening than I do by talking. No surprise there. But what is surprising is that I hear a common refrain from both men and women about leaving a relationship.They want to leave but are waiting for the other person to make the first move.

They are actually hoping the other will make some grand, unforgivable relationship faux pas so they can justify breaking up, as opposed to just initiating “the talk” with their partner and calling it quits.

Another thing I hear people doing is picking ridiculous fights with their partner or purposely doing something to annoy or tick the other person off. They are provoking conflict so they can justify a break up and blame it on the other person or at the very least absolve them from any “guilt” about leaving. This almost always results in ill will and damaged egos and bruised feelings. You don’t need to justify why you want out. The fact that you want out is justification enough.

If breaking up is what someone truly wants to do, then just do it. Don’t cause a rift. Don’t pick a fight. Don’t blame, shame or guilt the other person. Do the break up cleanly, with integrity and by taking the high road. You don’t owe anyone an explanation beyond,”This just no longer works for me and I am moving on with my life. I wish you the best.”

If you aren’t happy with your relationship and you know there is no potential for a future with your partner, you are doing both of you a favor by moving on. Time is a precious commodity we can’t afford to waste and we can never get it back. Empower yourself by moving forward and find the love you are looking for. Learn from your current situation by making a fair and impartial assessment of the dynamics that did and did not work and improve yourself to attract what it is you truly want.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 26, 2012

Mad Men is back and bigger than ever. That show illustrates how political correctness was not even a small concern for the advertising salesmen of Madison Avenue when they successfully pitched their client’s brand campaigns.

The ads from the 1960s were breathtakingly unconcerned with sexism as they appealed to men’s macho side, using images of subservient women as a way to sell everything from wrinkle-free trousers to boldly patterned neckties.

The popularity of Mad Men has kept many hooked on an era when drinks were strong, cigarettes popular…and women kept firmly in their place.

In the current political climate it’s entirely possible that women’s rights are heading back to where they were in the 60′s. Let’s stand together so that doesn’t happen. We have come too far and worked too hard to go backwards.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 14, 2012

Black women are happier with their bodies than white women - even if they weigh more, well that’s what a new study says. Two-thirds of overweight black women said they had high self-esteem, compared to only 41 per cent of thin or average-sized white women. White women could learn a thing or two from this because we are never satisfied with our bodies and go to great lengths to change them.

According to the research commissioned by the Washington Post white women focus too much on what nature has given them, while black women have a ‘deeper’ appreciation of beauty.

Flat chests, skinny midriffs and size zero are boyish. Black women say, “we’re likely to be built generously and we’re not ashamed to celebrate our curves.” ‘We develop our own ideas about what it means to look good, rather than relying on magazines and television shows to tell us’. The survey found, that black women do not aspire to unfeasible skinniness when they lose weight. Instead they look to emulate Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson and Michelle Obama, all of whom are muscular and curvy.

Nothing’s perfect – and the survey also brought out this important point. Black women are more prone to diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure because they are more likely to be obese than white women.

The bottom line is be happy with the skin you’re in. You have one miraculous body so treat it well and keep it healthy. Pay attention to how you feel and know that you attract good things from a place of feeling good.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.