Please stay like this as long as you can

Keanu Reeves with short hair and no crazy beard situation arrived in LA yesterday. This is how I prefer it. He on the other hand is most comfortable walking around New York looking sad. Still, in my opinion, the best meme ever. Yes, even better than Hey Girl Ryan Gosling.

Anyway, what’s new with Keanu? Well he recently wrapped on 47 Ronin about outcast samurai that, as usual, is a Hollywood adaptation of an iconic Japanese feature. Not gonna lie though - I really want to see this. Due out November 2012. Here’s Keanu talking about it with MTV. Does he speak differently to you...? What is that all about?

Next up - Keanu is trying to secure financing to direct and star in a movie that he also wrote called Man of Tai Chi. Yes. Martial arts. The Wrap reported last week that Keanu is in talks with China Film Group to make Tai Chi happen. China Film Group is “the largest and most influential state-run film enterprise in China, and often manages co-production relationships between Hollywood and the Chinese state. China now has the second-largest box office in the world, but only allows around 20 foreign productions to screen in cinemas there each year”. (Source) Right. China is about to own even more everything.

Maybe Keanu cut his hair to impress them then? Like when you go to the bank and apply for a loan? You put on a nice suit, you make sure you’re clean and well put together. In his case, perhaps throw on a pair of shades, a leather trench coat, combat boots, a gun belt, start shouting that you need to find Morpheus... please. My people would have signed the cheque over without another word.

Look, I have a lot of love for Keanu, I really really do. At the same time, I always these days associate Keanu with my friend Lorella who cannot have a Keanu discussion without bringing up The Sneeze and now I cannot have a Keanu discussion without thinking of Lorella bringing up The Sneeze and WTF-ing about The Sneeze. You must know The Sneeze. I am laughing about The Sneeze right now. It’s funny. It will be funny FOREVER. Shall we enjoy it together?