Houston died from drowning, coroner says

Whitney Houston was a chronic cocaine user who had the drug in her system when she drowned in a hotel bathtub, coroner’s officials said Thursday after releasing autopsy findings that also noted heart disease contributed to her death.

The disclosure ended weeks of speculation about what killed the Grammy-winning singer on Feb. 11 on the eve of the Grammy Awards.

Houston was found submerged in the bathtub of her room at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, and her death was ruled accidental. Several bottles of prescription medications were found in her hotel room, but coroner’s officials said there weren’t excessive quantities.

Who doesn’t love to get all coked up and take a bath? I can’t blame Whitney.

Lucky for me, my bathtub isn’t one of those over sized luxury hotel tubs. Even Whitney couldn’t drown in my shitty little tub. You have to hang you feet over the side to get your head under water.

You know you have way too much money when you can afford to stay in a hotel room where you would even consider taking a bath. The bathtub in the last hotel I stayed in looked like a superfund site.

I felt dirtier after I took a shower than before I got in. I felt like dowsing my feet in Purrel to get the funk off of them. But I had to take a shower to get the stink of the bed off my body. The average hotel is about as clean as the bottom of a shoe. Whitney’s hotel was white glove clean. If only the maid had forgotten to scrub the tub, Whitney might still be with us.

I admire Whitney for sticking with her cocaine habit well into her late 40’s. It takes grit and determination to get high that late in life. She probably had much better coke than the rest of us.

She had a good run. Don’t cry for her. She died in the lap of luxury with a nice buzz. She got as high as she wanted for as long as she could. She was still famous and people actually gave a shit when she died. It could have been worse.

She could have gone to rehab and done the walk of shame on Oprah. That would have been so fucking boring. No one likes to see a repentant famous drug addict get clean. We all like to live vicariously through our self appointed demigods. If they die, all the better.

Even dead Whitney made more money last week than most people make in a lifetime. She might not be able to take it with her, but she is leaving it in her wake. Way to go Cokey.