You know it's time for a diet when:
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You dive into a swimming pool so your friends can go surfing.
`
You have to apply your makeup with a paint roller.
`
Weight Watchers demands your resignation.
`
You step on a pennyweight scale that gives you your fortune and it says,
"One at a time please!"
`
Your face is so full that you look like you're wearing horn-rimmed
contact lenses.
`
The bus driver asks you to sit on the other side because he wants to
make a turn without flipping over.
`
You're at school in the classroom and turn around and erase the entire
blackboard.
`
They throw puffed rice at your wedding.
`
You hiccup in your bathing suit, and it looks like someone adjusting a
venetian blind.
`
You fall down and try to get up, and in the process rock yourself to
sleep.

muuuuuuuhahaha. or like my mother tells in her little one-woman performances. She went to the beach and wrapped in a grey towel to keep the sun off herself. Next thing, a group of Greenpeace enthusiasts were rolling her back in the water.