Adebola Idowu: Life is Ironic

I was tired already; been queuing at the filling station for hours. If only I had enough cash I would have bought from black market; N700 for 4 litres and gone home to relax. I dared not with the disposable income available to me. I was angry – at whom? No idea. At what? No clue. Solution? Not in view.

I pulled back the car seat and relaxed my back which was aching as a result of the sedentary position. I was about dozing off when I heard a bang on my old Mazda 626. I was startled; I looked up and I saw an old friend of mine from the University; Hakeem. A dapper young man; class and money oozed out from him. I could smell it all. We chatted about old friends and everything after school. He gave me his card before he left and I couldn’t bring out my card which looked like toilet paper with my data printed on it. I knew then that call cards has levels. He worked with one of the big oil companies as Head on Internal Audit. Ouch! He filled the tank of his sleek Toyota Avenza with black market fuel and zoomed off. Levels! And then I remembered that he graduated with a third class.

Life was about to stop making sense to me before then, but after that experience it stopped. I can swear it. What the heck is this sef? “I stop reading from today. It is a waste of time. This weekend I will be burning all the gaddamn books”, I said. I was that angry. Yeah, I know it is extreme but I truly planned to do it. Why was I keeping them anyway? Who would have thought that with my first class degree in Economics; I wouldn’t be able to secure a position in one of the top multinationals or even in an oil company?

I burnt candles when others were partying. I sat in front of the class. I read, read and read. I was called different names; ‘Efiko’, ‘Igi Iwe’, ‘Bookworm’, ‘Omo labere, Iwe labi’ and many more. To all these names I answered; I’d smile and feel good. I’d complete the syllabus before the course ended. Few days before exam, my room would be crowded. They’d come to me for help. I’d solve all the Orijo questions. I knew they would come so I would always read for two and more. Even after the nights of lecturing and teaching and solving questions, on the exam day, they’d fight over who and how they’d sit around me in the exam hall. I’d finish my exam in half the given time and spend the remaining half passing answers to my friends. I could write two exams from start to finish within the allotted time for one paper. I was that good.

And it all paid off. I bagged my first class honours. It didn’t come as a surprise to many. I felt special. Great. I completed my youth service with pride. I could almost borrow money to buy myself some comfort with the promise to pay back when I get my fat job with fat pay. I was that convinced. I was so sure Shell was coming for me; that Chevron will beg me to join its workforce, that Exxon will seek me. I wrote aptitude tests with pride. I’d meet old friends from school and when they see me they’d say “Oh you, you will floor it naw. Shebi na you. Igi Iwe. I trust you” I’d smile and spank their backs, “Stop jor”, pretending to be shy. They believed in me. I believed in myself. And after the test I’d wait to be called for interview. I’d watch my phone from morning to night. I’d make sure it was fully charged. “I am expecting a call”, I’d say. I was too certain. First week, Second, Third and then I’d call those I met at the test centre only to be told those selected have resumed for training. I lost again. My confidence level declined after every failed test.
I registered for ICAN, I qualified. I registered for CISA. I qualified. I registered for CFA. I qualified. And I got a job. Finally I got a job.

Just a job. Not Chevron. Not Mobil. Not Shell. Just a job in a small firm earning a quarter of what my friends who use to depend on me for success in exams earned. I want more. I think I should earn more. That I deserve more. I want something big, something to cover for all the candles I burnt, all the parties I missed, the life I should have lived; the clubs I should have rocked, the girlfriends I should have had, the excursions I should have gone, something for all the exams I wrote, all the people I taught. Something more.
How could those who read little, who partied more, today earn more? What could be wrong? Or am I asking for too much?

Photo Credit: love-life-inc.com
__________________________________________________________________________________________________Adebola Idowu is a high-spirited, selfless and fun loving person She is married with three gorgeous boys; a set of twins inclusive; hence her alias The Matron. A Finance professional who works full time and yet squeezes out time to write. She shares her poems, prose, stories on www.thematronwrites.com. She is passionate about encouraging and celebrating young entrepreneurs.

About Adebola Idowu

Adebola Idowu is a high-spirited, selfless and fun loving person She is married with three gorgeous boys; a set of twins inclusive; hence her alias The Matron. A Finance professional who works full time and yet squeezes out time to write. She shares her poems, prose, stories on www.thematronwrites.com. She is passionate about encouraging and celebrating young entrepreneurs.

“a deep sigh” i’m almost 40 and this is just getting clear to me now but i’ll share….. college is not just about studying and passing exams…. thats just one aspect of your growing years… believe it or not, the parties were just as important… who are your friends from school? they make up your network which helps you in the real world… what skills do u have apart from passing exams… initiating deals, negotiating, closing deals, networking,….. college is not just for passing exams. believe it or not, even if the third class guy didn’t get employed by an oil company, he could navigate himself better in the real world than you could. pele. its not too late… put in the same effort into building your network…

It’s fiction.
The writer is a woman (she), but at some point in the story, you see she writes “having girlfriends”.
Besides her real name wouldn’t be all over the place for everyone (including her employers) to see, and then she’ll talk about her ‘workplace’ in such condescending manner?

nice write up but u should be grateful, there are so many pple with awesome results that can’t even boast of a job(not that i’m saying your current situation is acceptable) and as for the part of you not being able to party and have girlfriends its not too late lol but all those things still make u feel empty regardless. so what’s the point right?

If you actually have a CFA…then you have no business in a small firm and with your old Mazda 626, I ll advise you come up with a one page value proposition with your CV attached , send to as many bank’s treasury group as you can, Other choice employers such as BGL, Vetiva, Chapel hill, Renaissance Capital, KPMG, AFC, FSDH, Associated Discount House,Kakawa etc … will fit your league of potential employers or better still you need to seek opportunities outside of the country with the help of CFA…Again it is time to stop the reading, step up of network and work on your circle of influence…Needless to say you have the profile to set up a private practice….your options are wide bro…Good luck

I can relate with the author a little bit but I agree with @X-factor, with ICAN, CISA and CFA!, you shouldn’t be working in a small firm. Notice the exclamation mark? CFA is a big deal. Please get up, dust your resume and your confidence and begin applying. Call up that classmate and others, that’s what networking is about. The issue most times is that people with good results often expect things to fall into their laps while others are busy hustling. Of course the I know you syndrome comes to play sometimes too.

WOW! This hit me…This is why i don’t solely depend on academics. Never have and never will. Not in today’s society. ‘Connect’ the dots baby.

Yes life can be funny. But you will get more! And it was worth it. Who knows if you hadn’t read the way you did you might not even have a job, talk less of a small job. As for your friend with the third class, you see the thing is the people that start off with a slow start in life tend to join the race and finish it before the ones who started before them. Simply because they have been down on their knees and vouch to do better…then again they might just have had connections shaaa. I don’t know how hard your working to better yourself, but its time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and take life by the horns!. Research other success stories and gain some inspiration from there. After the rain comes the sun.

I simply don’t understand why life is like that. In relationships for instance, girls with horrible reputation and numerous bed mates end up married to good men, while the ones who have preserved themselves end up becoming old maids..Sometimes I feel like good efforts don’t get rewarded

I once pondered this same thing and it is mostly true. The best answer I can come up with is that those who dated around town, learned early on what men look out for in a woman for the sort of relationship they’re after. These girls quickly learned how to size a guy up, and suss out whether he wanted fun, or serious relationship etc. Don’t be fooled, a lot of mistakes are made along the way but by and large, the experiences make the girl more prepared to pick out the most compatible fellow for her as soon as he makes his interest known.

The other types of girls on the other hand, didn’t develop these skills in time preferring to ‘preserve’ themselves which prob means not having sex. Well guess what? Guys are 9 times out of 10 like to have sex as often as possible. As comedian Dave Chapelle once said ‘lemme tell you, if a man could s***w a woman in a cardboard box, he would never buy a house’. Meaning, it’s the bid to impress a woman that makes men get out there and achieve things otherwise a man would do the least he has to do to get laid.

Just to throw a curve ball, not all ladies who ‘preserve’ themselves are interested in men. If you catch my drift…

but some of the preservees marry good men and some of the sleeping arounders marry so called bad men. in other words, good things happen to good people and bad things happen to good people or better good people sometimes make bad choice and “runs girls’ sometimes make good choices 🙂

To be frank, i really got emotional when reading ur article….. Life is all about ups and down but we just gat to leave it the best we can… Me for once is kind of ditching school bcos i read on paper where 200 bankers plus ceo were sacked so i said to myself, does it mean am better than this professional or what and am studying to become a banker….. Well i just wish yu are in a develop country with a first class in economic, am very sure that this write up will never be brought to light… Mehn, nothing go ever make me miss party or other thing related even though i dey write exam the next day though……
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Exactly! when I read that line “I registered for ICAN, I qualified. I registered for CISA. I qualified. I registered for CFA” my first thought was naa,you cant have CFA and not get a high flying job….. except the oracle from your mother’s village is pursuing you.

This is life yes this is truly life, but where is the spirit of an entrepr2neur in you??? With all these qualifications, you should know better than getting peanut-paying jobs, start something toady! Who says you can’t own you own financial firm??? start small, after all Rome wasn’t built in a day!

I feel your pain because I was almost exactly like you but without first class honors or so many professional qualifications. I grew up in a home that placed academic knowledge above pretty much everything else. It was clear to me that socials i.e. partying, networking was important but this didn’t really hit home till I was in my 30s. You see, like someone already said, those extracurricular activities that you sacrificed for all those A’s, are just as important perhaps even more so.

For instance, take elite schools in the UK such as Harrow or Eton or US private prep schools and colleges i.e. Bryn Mawr. Why do you think the wealthy 10% struggle to get in? Because they know how important it is to socialize with affluent people. Afterall subjects like Biology, Economics, History will be taught no differently from what a kid at the local comprehensive school down the street would be learning, right? (Perhaps a bit more in depth but the substance of it remains the same).

It’s often a shocker when one learns that knowing a wide variety of people and having fun when you’re young is as important as academic knowledge. Don’t fret though, life is funny in the way that you can makeup for it at any point in life. Just adopt a carefree, positive attitude and smile and favor will come. Make sure you let your kids have fun when the time comes…lol

Also, you never know where the shoe pinches your friends as already said. Some folks are battling chronic, debilitating health problems you may know nothing about while others may be in unhappy marriages or increasingly, may belong to a different sexual orientation. You just never know.

There are however, a chosen few who truly do have it all and show it off …but hey that’s life.

@ Ola – Word!
Nobody should ever say LIFE here. I’m so over that.
@the author, this simply shows that you aren’t even intelligent. I seriously doubt if you actually made a 1st. With all these qualifications,you couldn’t even emancipate yourself mentally?Look at your comparison – is that what success really means to you? Shame, like most people, you got stuck in the rat race – living in a controlled system hoping that your qualifications will validate you.
Who says you have to get a degree before you make it in life?Don’t you know that they don’t equal your worth and capability and as such don’t define you as a person? You should have known that the school system(corporation) doesn’t teach you to be really educated and challenge the system, create your own jobs, rather teach you to be a perpetual employee, dependent on the corporation, who determines how much you are worth et al.
Burn those papers, get your butt up, and START LIVING. Take yourself to where you want to be, with the tools that are available to you right now. Don’t be just another member of society/victim caught up in that matrix. Be a living example of your dreams and goals!It’s in YOU.

Nice piece. God’s time is best. Just believe that God will favour you in due time. Yes, u might not have gotten a job in Shell but that is not the end of the world. GOD is still in the kitchen. This is not the time to start comparing yourself with others who you feel are not as qualified. Just keep trusting in God. He will lift you up. GOD is turning your test into a testimony. I bet God wants to prove Himself to you. At the end of the day, the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. GOD wants you to know that He is boss over yourself. What if you have gotten the job with Shell and you had died nko. Perhaps God didn’t give you what you wanted because it would cause more pain than joy. One thing I’m confident about is that when it is the set time for you, everything will fall into place. In fact, your prayer will now be that ‘ Father help me to choose the best company’. So never never give up and put God first above all. Do not put your trust in ur possessions ( your qualifications) but rather on your maker

Marry your opposite! That’s what smart people do. An outgoing, social person who has important connections and compensates for the qualities you think you lack.

That doesn’t mean surrendering the social bit to them 100% and becoming a wall flower at social events. By marrying an outgoing person, you get the chance to work on improving those social connections and experiences you think you lack. Good luck!

Nobody should ever say LIFE here. I’m so over that.
@the author, this simply shows that you aren’t even intelligent. I seriously doubt if you actually made a 1st. With all these qualifications,you couldn’t even emancipate yourself mentally?Look at your comparison – is that what success really means to you? Shame, like most people, you got stuck in the rat race – living in a controlled system hoping that your qualifications will validate you.
Who says you have to get a degree before you make it in life?Don’t you know that they don’t equal your worth and capability and as such don’t define you as a person? You should have known that the school system(corporation) doesn’t teach you to be really educated and challenge the system, create your own jobs, rather teach you to be a perpetual employee, dependent on the corporation, who determines how much you are worth et al.
Burn those papers, get your butt up, and START LIVING. Take yourself to where you want to be, with the tools that are available to you right now. Don’t be just another member of society/victim caught up in that matrix. Be a living example of your dreams and goals!It’s in YOU.

This article mirrors my life at the moment. I finished with a first class (good profession) and I have always had good grades, ignored partying and always felt a decent man will come along in the process of getting all these degrees. Here I am, in the US, still no job, no fiancé let alone husband, It cripples my faith when I see my old school mates doing great and me, (the supposedly) decent young lady who adores God get literally nothing out of life, I tell my friends I deserve more than this in life, I always say, I have put in too much to be like this but I have decided to keep the hope alive, the fire burning in me and the faith soaring because the God that started a good thing in me will surely perfect it………………..Life is indeed ironic.

Marry your opposite. An outgoing, social person with a strong social network (not of useless friends sha o) who can complement those social qualities that you think you lack. This does not mean surrendering all socializing to the other person and then you become a wall flower. Look at it as an opportunity to improve your social skills etc while the other half improves themself on what they think they lack and consider to be your strengths. Don’t forget to fall in love with the persin, sha. E go hard to marry persin solely becos of social network and connections, lol.

I can totally relate to your story. not that I got a 1st class but I got a 2.1 and even taught some of my friends at the law school who finished with passes but today most of them earn more than I do and can afford to live more luxurious lifestyles than I can. Not that my job is bad or my pay is so paltry oh but I could definitely do with more money…I have since learnt that networking can take you places in this country with God on your side sha and I have been able to console myself with the fact that it is a marathon and not a 100 metres dash so I will eventually catch up and even overtake some that are all the way up there. #Godspeed to everyone!

I guess the CFA part is Ajasi… You cant have CFA and not work in a great firm but i get the message.

It is not just about academics, network of friends and intelligent matters. I currently work for a good company, i had fun during my interview. the two companies i did interviews for, I had fun- be my silly friend.
I hope the suggest is applying for jobs and not just waiting, i also hope he is practising and not just waiting. I went to a University where people party hard but study harder. Some of my friends have great jobs while someone have average jobs.. Our destiny will always play out

I was getting emotional with her, before I read the comments. Social intelligence is as important as Book smarts. In school, one of my classmates was considered the ‘not’ most beautiful. She wasn’t particularly tall or shapely either. Why she never lacked male attention, was a puzzle. 2 men nearly fought over her while the pretty ones were roasting. I decided to find out why. She was very caring, homely, attentive, and sweet. If my fiancée visited, I would feed him with gist till his tummy growled with hunger. If any man entered her room, she would have food to offer while listening to him like he was all that. She had the ability to flatter men’s egos. That being said, I believe 1st class brains need to understudy the 3rd class brains who are doing well and find out their secrets. Great read. drnsmusings.wordpress.com

Una too like “woe is me ” tori sha. I am not a shrink nor am I more learned than you on this piece of fiction or real life you have written, but how in Jehova Jesus Christi name do you draw a correlation between your choice of forfeited flenjo, parties etc to your present condition of having an “OK” job. Na self awareness be your ailment and the only person that can help you na Jesus. If you knew yourself , you’d know your strengths and your weaknesses and your addictions, and accordingly include them in your prayer points so that you are not manifesting that which you have placed as “god” in your life. This includes what your personal definition of success is. Comparison is the thief of Joy , and I am sure you have been done way too much comparing all your life or perhaps your parents did so often and you continued it.

Western education is forbidden! Heard that line before? The article above is proof positive that booksmarts alone does not determine a thing about how successful an individual is likely to be in life. And having a Western education guarantees NOTHING in terms of material wealth or emotional satisfaction.

The colonials fed our grandparents (and parents) generation a load of codswallop about how education would open the door to better things …good jobs, comfortable life etc. That was nearly 60yrs ago and for a while it worked. I think many Nigerians can see how things have played out.

Nigerian soccer players are doing well. Has anyone ever asked Nwankwo or Jay Jay to present their University degrees? Does anyone ask Chief Okoya whether he graduated Uni with a 1st or 3rd class? And all the models strutting the catwalks of NY, Milan etc, has anyone ever asked them what their views are on Macro/Micro Economic theory, Genetic cloning or the complete works of Shakespeare etc?

There is nothing more satisfying than going through the same stages of life at the same time as your peers. Party when it’s time to party, network when its time to do so etc. Live your life and enjoy it.

There are many who practised the idea of ‘delayed gratification’ but with all theories, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Some folks are taking this post too personally. I don’t think it is a factual piece. It is likely to be fiction that may have been inspired by factual events. So there is no need to direct criticism towards the author.

hmmm I am graduating in June and it’s been tough! i HAVE BEEN job hunting since january..cried and cried but i still clean my tears and apply anyways. I finished a semester before my classmate so we all graduate in June and I still haven’t gotten a decent job! and yes networking rules the job market even where I am in North america because that is how I got my current part time job working as a cashier..my friend spoke to her neighbour who runs the place and i got in..no formal interview what so ever.. another problem especially for new graduates is experience . Now employers sending me emails stating that i do not have the required experience for the job .. how will i get one when no one wants to invest in me and train me ? sigh …. this storm will pass soon but I trust and believe in God because I am going to get one before graduation.AMEN.

sometimes even when you do everything right, bad things happen to good people. That’s why every good book says be patient. hustle, strategize but be patient. Try different angles but be patient.
but then, what did you study. how are you applying. if you’re in the U.S, have you tried craigslist. They seem to have many jobs on there from smaller companies and entry level folks

I was in your shoes some years ago. I have two words for you – LEAVE NIGERIA!! Head to US or Canada. Come back to BN and testify later…. ignorant people here don’t know jack. Be telling you, “you are not street smart” and all that bullshit. We leave in a useless country, the sooner you accept it, the better.

As for d lady that said she is in the US and cannot find a job, “babe what did you study?” Are you taking full advantage of all that your schools career center offers?

NB: pls make sure you go to a good and respected state school (at the very least)….. With all d qualifications you listed Goldman Sachs be begging you to work for them and they wud even train you some more.

It’s actually ‘leave’. I don’t agree with you. I believe people should only leave Nigeria to go and study or if there’s already a job waiting for them. If he was in the US before, then you can say he shouldn’t leave. A better advice, in my opinion, would be that he should begin to apply to other countries. I have a colleague who is being interviewed for a position in the Cayman Islands or so.
This may be fiction but I believe it stemmed from actual happenings. It may take a while, but I believe with the character’s qualifications, if he can network well and know when, how and where to apply to, he’ll get what he desires. Another thing is, he needs to make a decision on what he wants and not just based on his classmate’s apparent affluence.