There’s a shortage of workers right now in Calgary. We’re so booming that it’s tough for retail businesses to get peeps to work for them. Consequently, we’re tapping a younger and younger workforce. I had the longest checkout experience of my life last night at Safeway. My cashier was 15 at best, as was the courtesy clerk.

Being really thirsty, I had picked up a Snapple and when I got to the till, I asked her to scan it first so I could crack it open and start drinking it. The clerk said to me, “I like never wait to get it scanned. My boyfriend and I like open them like up, and then we like, drink half of it and then when we like get to the till, we’re like, oh, do we have to like, pay for this? and they are always like, ya and we’re like, well whatever. This one time we got, like, kicked out of the store and told, like, not to come back but we went back and she was, like, didn’t I kick you out and we were like, uh I dunno, whatever!”

I kid you not. Then the cashier started talking about someone batting a light bulb and being afraid that it was going to fall and break on the bed and I swear to god, I didn’t know if she was talking about her boyfriend or her cat until she summed up the entire story with:

“Sigh – Boys are, like, soooooooo stupid.”

And they wouldn’t stop talking to me. Even as I was trying to grab my receipt and walk away. I swear she was holding it hostage.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been known to still talk like a valley girl at my ripe old age of 31, but these girls. . . It was a whole different language with different social cues. As soon as one started talking about her boyfriend, the other one had to top that story. And then that story had to get topped and then they would look at each other with partially blank stares. And I wanted to reach over and start scanning my own groceries.