-- Putting Martha Stewart in jail only makes her that much sexier. We are printing "Free Martha!" bumper stickers as you read this.

-- A valuable lesson was learned from our "Sopranos" review Friday: A lot of people in the Bay Area (and beyond) know their fine art masterpieces. Yes, Gericault's "The Raft of the Medusa" was a good stab at it, but Annie Leibovitz clearly drew inspiration for her "Sopranos" ad from Delacroix's "Barque of Dante." From local art history scholars to knowledgeable art lovers, word got back to us pretty quickly.

To which we say: Raft, barque, whatever. It's still a boat going to hell.

-- With all that Viacom has been through this year, it's no surprise that it would cower against the masses and dismiss Stewart's show. The industry trade magazine Television Week said there was probably a morals clause that kicked in and killed the contract effective upon her conviction. Doesn't matter to us. It's just another example of the Man trying to keep a good woman down.

Hey, no justice, no piece -- of the parolee pie.

-- What took us by surprise was not the outpouring of kindly people who pointed out the Delacroix thing. They were, in fact, extremely nice about it. No, it was the barrage of people who didn't choose a masterwork from either artist and instead offered up, how shall we say this, far simpler examples. Hey, at least we had a raft in the water. At least Delacroix and Gericault have some history together. Still, it was a hell of a week to have Kenneth Baker, The Chronicle's art critic, on vacation.

-- Word is that Al Sharpton is interested in a reality TV show on Fox. To which we say: You mean the whole Democratic presidential nomination wasn't enough of a circus?

-- This "Martha Mess" is problematic. It means that we are going to have to suffer through (and some of us participate in) hack comedic material, revolving in some way around her ability to bake in the prison kitchen, the neatness of her cell, etc.

All of the humor masks one important thing: She scared the bear fur off men in the business world because she'd just as likely cut their Unsanctioned FCC Word right off and cook it in front of them as get patronized. She scared women who secretly wanted to be perfect. She didn't scare us, though. Because we recognized that under the Teflon, she just needed a big hug. So we'll miss her. And the fact that -- repeating this for the 76th time -- her show was perfect when you had a hangover. She just accomplished so much stuff you knew you'd never get to.

-- Michael Eisner, the embattled head of Disney, can't catch a break. A New York Times story said that because ABC can't close a deal without him, its executives couldn't sign producer Mark Burnett, who promptly took his red-hot ratings hit "The Apprentice" to NBC.

We see the problem from the other end. If Eisner has to sign off on every deal ABC does, his real tragedy and embarrassment doesn't come from losing a shot at "The Apprentice," it comes from giving the green light to, well, pretty much everything else on the schedule.

-- It's nice to see that San Francisco's own, Daphne Brogdon, is getting her big break, but did it have to be on Fox's "Playing It Straight," the new reality show that premieres Friday (8 p.m., if you must)?

"Playing It Straight," of which Brogdon is the host, inverts Bravo's "Boy Meets Boy" reality show (a gay man didn't know that several straights were "acting" gay and were mixed into his "Bachelor"-esque bevy of beefcake). In "Playing It Straight," a woman picks among 14 men, and a handful are gays "playing it straight." If she ultimately picks a straight guy, they split $1 million. If she picks a gay guy, he gets the $1 million.

-- Angela Lansbury made it clear recently that she wants to be in a sitcom. Oh, is that right, little miss murderer? We'll get the last laugh when you're jailed over the bloodbath that was Cabot Cove!

-- "Next, on 'The Wonderful World of Trump': The heartwarming story of little Billy, who gets his dying wish and visits Trumpland, then survives his tragic comb-over to live happily ever after."

-- Gays are hot right now, what with same-sex marriages and "Queer Eye" and getting to be the wacky neighbor on TV. But watch your fabulous back. It doesn't take a genius to see that Comedy Central's "Straight Plan for the Gay Man" and now "Playing It Straight" have an evil subplot behind them: Getting you to act hetero. Next thing you know, you'll be cheering Martha's prison sentence.

-- Can't Oprah just step up and put an end to this charade, by the way? She's bigger than the law itself. "I politely request, your honor, that Martha be detained with an ankle bracelet at my house. She can help Stedman with the lawn."

-- Our yearly review of the Oscar telecast is always good for some fun day-after jousting with readers. Lots of people liked Billy Crystal and said so (despite the perfect French breasts). But the people who complained bitterly that we had overlooked the wonderful Jack Black-Will Ferrell moment, well, they were right. We did overlook it. Loved it. Laughed, out loud. But sometimes, even with TiVo, you need a bathroom break. And sometimes you just forget things. And no, "forget" is not a code word here for "got too deep into the red wine."