From Year Two Post-Divorce When my best friend Hali and I found ourselves newly separated and back out in the dating trenches, we kept hearing the term “Friends With Benefits.” We both liked the sound of it and decided it was something we wanted. After all, we weren’t ready for serious, but we wanted to have sex. Thus a sexual…

I accidentally crossed paths with my first Dominant online when I was going through a divorce seven years ago. My first thought was to run away fast: He must be some whip-toting freak with a dungeon in his basement. Fast-forward to today and I have three Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationships behind me (though I’ve had vanilla…

It was my deepest, darkest secret – something that nourished me, tortured me, yet ultimately tore my family apart: After seven years of marriage, the birth of three kids, and weathering the emotional storm of my husband’s infidelity, I made the choice to have an affair. Now I’m not revealing this today as some kind of…

When a spouse regularly works out of town, return trips home usually spell stress and chaos on the home front. Over time, resentment can easily grow around issues like downtime, chores, parenting and (lack of) sex. Here are some tips and insights to keep your relationship on track. Downtime: Respect that you both need it…

From year four post-divorce So as the countdown begins to this year’s Calgary Stampede, I’m reminded of last year’s “debacle” during the festivities. That is, I spent eight hours at a bar with a handsome “urban cowboy” who professed to be single and genuinely smitten by me. A day later, I found out that he…

You’ve probably heard women refer to it – this concept of having sex like a man. But what exactly does that mean? Why is it challenging for women to do? Yet why are more women doing it? Leaving judgements aside, let’s take a closer look: Meaning of SLAM: Some women think that having sex like…

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Year four post-divorce His comments caught me totally off guard: We were out on our second date – me and this handsome, charming, 42-year-old divorced businessman. The Indian food we’d eaten was excellent, as was the conversation we’d shared: satisfying…delicious…with just enough ’spice.’ And as we sat there finishing up the last drops of our red wine, I…

Seven years have now passed since I went through the insanity of my divorce. I’m in a COMPLETELY different place in my life in all respects. And when I think back on “The Duke” — the online, self-proclaimed “Dominant” who had a pronounced voice in my memoir, The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom. my most prominent…

A lot of divorced women – myself included – go through a ‘man crazy’ phase in the aftermath of divorce. By ‘man-crazy’ I mean some part of them is always thinking about, worried about, or eagerly daydreaming about some guy they plan to meet, want to meet, or hope to meet. There are many different…

No, divorce is not your only option. I tell this to my clients over and over. Numerous alternatives are available to you, and how they’re structured depends on how flexible you are as a couple are, as well as how great your desire is to be together. They’re definitely worth considering before resorting to divorce. Separate…

FROM THE ARCHIVES MAY 2009 A divorced girlfriend of mine was going out on a date – a third date, which rarely happened with her. And as we talked over the phone beforehand, she was almost panicked.“I actually like this man, Delaine. But the timing couldn’t be worse – my life is such a mess,…

I had the amazing opportunity on April 2 to go on CTV’s daytime talk show, The Social, to talk about the challenging world of dating and sex after divorce. I can’t embed it yet here, cause it’s not yet uploaded to YouTube. But at the very least, I want to provide you with the link…

From year two post-divorce… A close male friend of mine, one whose opinion I value greatly, keeps telling me: Gypsy (his nickname for me), you are so afraid to fall in love. You’ve built walls to protect yourself and keep men out, but you must be careful not to become your own prisoner. Immediately I…

FROM THE ARCHIVES 2009 You my not see it. But it’s there… deep within him. It is beyond his admission, beyond his self-awareness. But it’s there, eating away at his soul… His self-loathing. He may seem all blissfully happy-in-love with her; look at that skip in his step. That skips says that he wants nothing…

The title of this blog may be a bit misleading. Cause I don’t want to talk in a professional tone or way about the “next serious relationship” after divorce. I want to talk about mine. That’s right. MY next serious relationship. I had one for over 20 months. And I never told you anything about…

FROM THE ARCHIVES 2011 There is a feeling under my skin – one that has risen to the surface over the past few years since my divorce. It tells of love, despair, renewal, and adventure. It comes from marrying, birthing, falling, bleeding, daring, reaching and celebrating. It’s a story – a hard-earned one – that is me, but not all of me:…

When Barb contacted me via email last week, she was clearly very upset. Only six months into her divorce, she’d discovered that her separated husband had a new serious girlfriend; they were even making plans to move in together. “It’s not that I want him back,” she wrote. “But it’s such a slap in the face –…

My girlfriend Deanne was messaging a younger man from a dating website this week, when out of the blue, he hit her with an “unusual” request: “Every month I’d like to give you money,“ he wrote. “You can spend it on yourself or any way you want. We can start out with small sums but maybe eventually get…

Many women are actively seeking a Dominant in their private lives as a result of having read Fifty Shades of Grey or The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom. But ladies, beware: ANY man can sport black leather and a flogger and call himself a Dom. You need to know how to distinguish the…

He says his marriage is long over. He says he’s ready to date again. But would it be wise for you – a woman who is ultimately seeking a serious relationship – to throw caution to the wind and dive right in? I’d definitely say, “No way.” Getting involved with a separated man usually comes…

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I survived my husband's infidelity and this divorce because of you, Delaine. Your insights, knowledge, and no bs attitude pushed me forward. I'm happier than ever, just as you said. Thank you. Karen, Toronto

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Delaine was invaluable to me as a started dating after my divorce. She really smarten me up as I dealt with divorce matters too. I owe her my sanity. Chad, NY

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Delaine, you are a GREAT coach! Please, don't ever stop doing what you're doing. The world needs you now more than ever.
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Thank you thank you thank you Delaine. You've been my rock, my teacher, my mentor this past year. I hate to think how far back I'd be if I hadn't found you. Kristina, Washington

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Delaine's not just text-book knowledgeable, she's been there. She KNOWS. She makes you ask the right questions of YOURSELF. She makes you get answers. She makes you the 'captain' of your new life.
Karie, South Carolina