Life just isn't like the movies is it? We're constantly led to believe in resolution in the establishment of the ideal status qua, and it's just not true. Happy endings are a myth. Designed to make us feel better about the fact that life is just another thankless struggle.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible. 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. 9) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. 10) You never know where to look when eating a banana. 11) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. 12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. 13) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. 14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. 15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. 16) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. 17) Some days you see lots of people on crutches. 18) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. 19) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.20) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. 21) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.22) You never ever run out of salt. 23) Old ladies can eat more than you think. 24) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. 25) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. 26) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. 27) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. 28) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. 29) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.30) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. 31) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. 32) Bricks are horrible to carry. 33) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.34) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

2 comments:

1) I prefer Square sandwiches2) Not so true at least not that I have noticed lol3) I would not know this, I don't go to pubs4) what are green crisps?5) Don't recall typing that but hey I was born in 79 so i'm not sure if that is a requirement of growing up in the 80's when about half the 80's i don't remember to well6) True7) True8) LMAO True9) :| I don't have soup in a cup no matter if it's cup a soup or not i put it in a bowl10) lmao True11) Oh so True12) Wouldn't say it makes me feel manily but I can go with that lol13) LMAO I think that was true once or twice don't remeber but I wouldn't doubt it14) I never did, horses are gental creatures just don't stroke near there back and out of there view my ma knows lol she got kicked by a horse forgetting that when she was brushing the horse she got out of it's view, she was hurting for a week i think 15) Dog has never ran into my school not that I remember anyways16) LoL Yep can't trust those small monkeys17) ??? why18) AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA I did that about every time when at home for awhile when I was younger19) now why would they look wrong :|20) well now a days it is, back when Frisbee's were cool it wasn't impossible21) It makes me feel like screeming in the tunnel or honking my horn22) You don't know me very well do you23) Just ask Luna :P lol jk24) I wouldn't ever carry a dog no matter if it delt with respect or not, the damn muts can walk themselves25) your telling me, just try having your hand stuck in the door henge26) No one cares27) :| who gets there arm broken by a swan28) Never felt that so wouldn't know29) true lol i have done that a few times30) my dad doesn't do that why would I31) i'm sure i had one when i was little don't remember tho32) only if you carry to many33) True34) Tomato's are vegitables :|

1) triangular sandwiches taste so much better!!2) yeah. it use to be me at one point LOL3) I've noticed that!4) I use to freak if there was a green crisp in my packet. Now I would eat it5) HOLY SHIT. I DID THIS!!! lol There was also 59378008 and 71077345 as well. I was the master at that when I was at school!!6) Tell me about it =(7) I use to cut myself when I did this. So my mum would do it for me lol8) We can have a fire in my mum's back garden >=)9) cup-a-soup means it's got to be in a cup!10) so true lol11) True lol12) We use a big pitch fork to prode the fire13) fucking right that's true LOL14) I've grown up with horses. I dont feel scared touching a horse anywhere. I've been kicked before and it's hurt like hell but there's nothing wrong with touching a horse out of its sight view15) There was two that ran in to ours and they STARTED HUMPING!16) not too sure, like17) yeah and I always wish I could have them =(18) Aint a male. wouldnt know19) Yeah. People like my grandma!20) never had to.21) it use to scare me lol22) very true!23) so very true!24) WTF?25) LMAO TRUE!26) That's made me think about it now27) Very true28) I did that the other week *cries*29) AND THEN IT MAKES ME SHOUT AT THEM! DONT SLAM MY CAR DOORS!!30) HOLY SHIT. I did this the other week at my mum's31) more than once =(32) too messy!33) wtf is up with that? STOP MAKING BAD CHIPS!34) tomato is a fruit, Daniel

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