Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?

13 May 2012

Officer Ottercop and the rules of Frisbee.

Just in case you haven't been paying attention, here is an important rule. If you can only remember one, let it be this. Otterpop always gets the frisbee.

Otterpop pauses here to remember Adam Yauch and Maurice Sendak. She is not glad they are dead, yet she is glad that they are not here to get her frisbee.

Gustavo understands the rules clearly, and is in the best position to make Otterpop insane while she gets the frisbee. This is his specialty. He was either a mosquito, a cat, or a drunk clown in a former life. But he has learned the rules well. Otterpop gets the frisbee.

Otterpop doesn't get to do this all the time. This is not a good game for a dog with gimpy legs. However, MCA died at the age of 47 years. One year older than me. And because of this, Otterpop gets some good air throws.

And she gets another, because we are on a field that is labeled NO DOGS. Because there are fox tails in our field, and because our house is not a ranch. Because when we were at work today I busted for bringing her real frisbee out into a pasture. And because of this, another air throw.

And she gets another. Because she is Officer Ottercop, and because this is the rule. And because it's Mother's Day. And because the guys in the skateboard squat hovel across the street have up and abandoned it, leaving a empty, stickered shell. Because I have learned to Samba. Because the wind is cold. Just one more throw.

You can't always count on her to bring it back every time. Dirty rotten, corrupt cop.

She likes to have some hoarder time, just her and frisbee. This isn't even a real Frisbee, it's some cheapo, knock off frisbee I found in the driveway. Good enough to be hoarded though. If I have a decoy frisbee, this is when Gustavo works on his retrieve, and Ruby gets her throws. Hers need to be not too far, and with everybody else on a LIE DOWN because the last thing Ruby needs is someone bashing into her.

So we all just ignore Otterpop. You know what Otterpop hates? Ignoring. HA! Take that, Otterpop.

That gets her back real quick. Turn your back on a cop sometime, and see what they do. They expect you to roll that hind end underneath and stand and face with some respect. I just say, LIE DOWN. And the frisbee is mine, in my pocket. Good night.

1 comment:

Laura Hartwick, Captain

Many people around Santa Cruz know Laura as the lady with all those little black dogs. Many people know her as a horse trainer. Many people know her as the artist with the small brushes. Many people know her as that hoity graphic designer.
None of them would be wrong.
All the dogs of Team Small Dog, righteously awesome.
Laura Hartwick is usually a nice person. Except when she isn't. Be nice, don't bite, and run faster.