4/16/12

Whilst being eaten by a dragon is woefully unpleasant, being eaten by a dragon when you’re about to unleash the sexiest pick-up line known to Druid-kind* is just abysmal.

Clank, clonk, bonk, crack, screeeeeech! As I fell down the foul beast’s esophagus I reached out with my hands, my feet, my nails, ANYTHING to help slow my fall (all the while calling down to the Guy, “Hey, I can show you a really wild rhi—wait that’s not how it goes, DAMNIT I PRACTICED). I was surprised to find that instead of hitting flesh, my digits came against cold, hard, metal. Oh FUCK.

We hadn’t been eaten by a dragon (inside a dragon)—we’d been consumed by a MECHANICAL dragon (inside a dragon).

The dragon must have swallowed some gnome tinkerers and their (abominable) creation. You’re familiar with gnome tinkerers of course. They’re the guys that stretch out your boots while trying to sell you graphics cards they swear will make the things look better. If only the Guy and I could find their control room… Perhaps this wasn’t so bad—I began to think—Perhaps this is our ticket out!

Still falling***,

Girl.IAD

*The line, of course, is “How much do I weigh in polar bear form? Just enough to break the ice!”**

**A variation of this for gamer druids is “How much do I slay in polar bear form? Just enough to crush your dice!” It sounds as threatening as it actually is.

About This Thing

We're inside a dragon. We're not certain, but we think might be an Elder Green Dragon. Possibly a Great Wyrm. We failed our saves, either way, and were swallowed whole.
If you wish to provide us with the comfort of the sound of another human voice, just shout in the comments section. We'll hear you. Alternatively, send a message to insideadragon(at)gmail(dot)com, and we'll telepathically reply.