5 signs you need a sex makeover

Sign you need a sex makeover 1: Computer game date nights

If your idea of a romantic night in is playing computer games with your boyfriend or girlfriend, or having a night off from cooking, then it’s a sign you need to drastically make over your sex life. Romantic dates should be all about reconnecting and making the other person in your relationship feel loved and wanted. You can’t achieve these things when you’re both wearing your slacks and have had a takeout feast. If you can’t get your dates right then it’s a sign that your sex life is taking a turn for the worse.

How to have a sex makeover: The next time you and your guy or girl has a date night (you should try to have at least two per month) get out of the house and go to a restaurant or out for a walk. Just spending some quality time together should help you both feel closer and once you get home you’ll be more tempted to sneak off under the covers.

Sign you need a sex makeover 2: Have you always had that birthmark?

Sex is a nerve-wracking business and even if you’ve been with your partner for years, stage fright and feelings of shyness affects us all. In fact, in a survey of 16,000 women, 40 per cent reported that they were unhappy with their bodies. The Academics from the Centre for Appearance Research also found that 69 per cent of men often wished they looked like someone else.

Yet good sex comes when two people are confident when together and feel attractive. If you don’t feel this way then you won’t want to try out any exciting positions and you won’t feel in the right frame of mind to get it on.

How to have a sex makeover: Before you hop into bed again take some time to work on your self-esteem. Take up a sport or go to a gym class if you don’t like the way you look and want to lose a little weight or tone up. Alternatively, why not buy some lingerie or wear something sexy in bed, like a nurse’s outfit or a fireman’s outfit. This way you can stay covered up, but still turn the other person on.

Sign you need a sex makeover 3: Sex happens twice a year

There is no right or wrong amount of times that you should be having sex and if it works for both you and your partner then having sex twice a year is fine. However, for the majority of people having sex twice a year is not healthy and most people will be unsatisfied. Working out how much is right for both of you is a personal matter, but if you want to know the averages then a Durex survey showed that 67 per cent of adults have sex once a week and eight per cent have it once a day or more.

How to have a sex makeover: Most people don’t have as much sex as they’d like because they are busy. Although we can’t magically wave a wand and free up a spare hour or so in your schedules, we can say this; when it comes down to it, what has more long-term benefit, sex or finishing that laundry? For most people, sex isn’t thought of as a priority, but it should be. So if you want more loving in your life, make time for sex and you’ll soon see the benefits.

Sign you need a sex makeover 4: Can’t climax

Being unable to climax or finding it hard to orgasm is a problem that affects both men and women and can make you want to avoid sex altogether. If you struggle to hit the high-notes it’s probably because you are not in a good place in your relationship, you are stressed or you’re not having sex in the optimum position.

All of these things make climaxing difficult and being unable to come or have a pillow-biting orgasm is not uncommon. In fact, a survey showed that 30 per cent of women would fake it so as not to upset their partner and eight per cent of women admitted to making it a regular habit.

How to have a sex makeover: If you are fed up of missing out on the Big O there are a few things you can do. Firstly, de-stress. Stress and the hormones that flood our body when we are stressed make reaching climax difficult.

Next, change positions. The woman should lay facing upwards, with a pillow in the arch of her back. The man should enter her in a missionary position. This allows you to get deep penetration and should help you to both reach orgasm. Finally, make sure your relationship is strong. Work out any issues and talk to one another about the way you are feeling.

Sign you need a sex makeover 5: Sex is dull

Although the odd sex session may be a little predictable, short or unimaginative, sex on the whole should never be described as dull. If you often find yourself thinking about what to cook for dinner or about how you can get that promotion at work whilst you are having sex it’s a sure sign you need a sex makeover.