I'm posting this in the hopes that one of you (as instructors) will be able to help me understand what my newish instructor is trying to teach me.

I study Wado ryu and I am only a 2nd kyu. My original instructor (who taught me for over 4 years) retired about 6 months ago. Luckily my club is (just) big enough to have different dojos in this area (with the same syllabus and all instructors taught by our chief instructor). So I've been able to carrying on training without too much disruption. It hasn't been easy – it's a 2 hour trip on public transport (which sometimes lets me down). Also, I am very shy so joining a established class has been a bit of a personal nightmare for me. I am the youngest and the only woman in a class of about 20 guys who have all known each other for years. Actually, I can't express how open and friendly my fellow students have been.

But things with my new instructor haven't been quite as positive. I leave the class feeling like the most pathetic little worm that has ever put on a gi. He loudly berates my technique in front of the whole class. I could handle that but he never helps me correct my mistakes. All I know is all the things I am doing wrong. I try and look up things in the few books I have and on the internet but I just can't seem to get them right.

Last week, during the self-defence class, I didn't know how to get out of the hold my partner had me in. So I just tried the first thing I thought of (which didn't work). My instructor just said that that was the most pathetic thing he had ever seen and then walked away. That was the worse bit.. just walking away like that – it made me feel like he didn't think I was even worth teaching.

It's got so bad that some of the other students in my class have started sticking up for me. For example, yesterday he was shouting at me for not being able to do side kick correctly (which is very bad for a 2nd kyu – I have to agree with him there). One of the other students intervened saying that I was doing the thrust version not the snap version he teaches. I started off doing TKD and learnt the thrust way there – the snap way hurts my knees (which were injured in a car crash when I was 11). I'm so intimidated by this instructor that I couldn't say anything – I was just focusing on my breathing so that I wouldn't start to cry

I'm getting so upset as I type this which is making me feel even more pathetic.

Anyway, back to my question. What is he trying to do? Motivate me into working harder? Does he feel that I am being lazy? Or that that am not good enough to wear the belt I have? (We are all graded by the same two sensei – our chief instructor and the senior instructor. I keep on trying to remind myself that they thought I was good enough.)

What goes around, comes around, and I have no doubt one day someone will turn around and lamp this instructor. 'Tough love' is one thing but it sounds as if your guy is an out-and-out bully. Throw in the 2hr trip getting there and I'd seriously consider switching styles / arts to a better school that's closer to you.

You could of course take him to one side and directly ask him why he's behaving like a jerk, but if it's already upsetting you, why bother? And could you carry on training even if he apologised? I don't think that kind of teacher would ever get back my respect and if you don't have the respect of your students, how effective a teacher are you going to be?

I am not sure how to respond. I do know that it ain't right and he is wrong for abusing you. You probably have to decide if you want to stay and take it or move on. If you really want to stay then I would take him aside and ask what is up. The truth of the matter is you are paying himn for instruction not abuse. Basically he works for you and you don't have to take that. Of course don't presend it that way. Have you tried to ask the other students why he is the way he is? Is it just with you?

It is a hard situation you are in but stay strong and decide if you want to continute with this guy or move on.

You could try to talk to the instructor, and let him know that his manner is not helpful for your training. If that doesn't work, you could try to go up the chain of command, and let the local organization leader know.

Otherwise, your only options are:

* Deal with it* Find a new school

Personally, the instructor sounds like a jackass to me. Good luck.

_________________________"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

I'd have to agree with everyone else, this instructor sounds like an ass!(and is OBVIOUSLY, NOT an "instructor") their purpose is to teach/coach, not to ONLY critique and belittle. Find another school, where you study is a matter of choice, I suggest you make one,....leave!

Thanks for all your responses. You have all given me a lot to think about. Though I must say that I have been surprised by the content. I just find it difficult to believe that my instructor is at fault. The other students in the class like him and they are all very impressive karateka. So he obviously can teach.

So, I can't help thinking that there must be something very wrong with me. Maybe I am wasting his time. I know that I have reached the highest grade I could ever hope to achieve. But I still would dearly like to improve on the techniques I have learnt up to this point. I guess that isn't really the right attitude.

Quote: Thanks for all your responses. You have all given me a lot to think about. Though I must say that I have been surprised by the content. I just find it difficult to believe that my instructor is at fault. The other students in the class like him and they are all very impressive karateka. So he obviously can teach.

Sounds like he can teach those he feels have the most potential and to hell with everyone else. Do you think it's because you're female?

Quote: So, I can't help thinking that there must be something very wrong with me. Maybe I am wasting his time. I know that I have reached the highest grade I could ever hope to achieve. But I still would dearly like to improve on the techniques I have learnt up to this point. I guess that isn't really the right attitude.

There are good instructors out there, just find one that is willing to share knowledge with everyone,not just his kronies.

_________________________
The2nd ammendment, it makes all the others possible. <///<

Quote:So, I can't help thinking that there must be something very wrong with me.

This line alone is a good enough reason to leave. Martial Arts is supposed to improve one's self confidence, not diminish it. It shouldn't matter that he gets on with other students - bullies have friends too.