Less than six months ago, well-known American evangelical Christian pastor Rick Warren lost his son to a self-inflicted gunshot wound, an emotional and heartbreaking end to a life defined by battles with mental health.

Joined by his wife Kay, this evening Warren joins "Piers Morgan Live" for the couple's first media appearance since Matthew's passing, describing in great detail the demons their son battled:

"Matthew was not afraid to die. He was afraid of pain. I remember 10 years ago, when he was 17, he came to me sobbing," reveals Warren, offering an absolutely heart-wrenching story about his late son. "He said, 'daddy,' he said, 'it's really clear, I'm not going to get any better. You know, we've gone to the best doctors, the best hospitals, the best treatment therapists. Everything ... prayer, everything you could imagine ... good support.' And he says, 'it's real clear I'm not going to get any better, so why can't I just die.'"

Asked by the host for Warren's reaction to his son at that time, the senior pastor of Saddleback Church shared his message:

"I said, 'Matthew, the reason why, is there is a purpose, even in our pain. And I am not willing to just give up and say that the solution isn't there. You might give up, but as your father, as your mother, we're not ever giving up, that we won't find the solution,'" he explains to Piers Morgan. "I really believe Matthew could have been a great advocate for children in the world. He was an amazingly compassionate kid."

You poor thing. If you knew anything about God you would know that He gave us the freedom to choose. God doesn't prevent people from making their own choices. If you knew anything about mental illness you would know that it is a brain disorder that cannot be healed by just wanting it to be healed anymore than any other disease. Before you comment on anything you might consider educating yourself.

"Believe in me and love me or you will go to hell and burn for eternity" That is not a choice – that is a threat. It is no different then a person holding a gun to your temple and saying "love me or I will kill you". Trying to rationalize a threat as a "choice" is absurd.

Reblogged this on A Little Less Chaos Please and commented:
Rick Warren's response to his son's question, why can't I just die is painful. We lose too many people to suicide every year. Some call it selfish. Some see it as escape from pain. It makes me hurt deep within. I weep for the parents that bury their children. Having spent time as a Chaplain Intern, I saw the effect first hand. It might provide a way out for the victim of suicide, but it destroys those left behind. There are more questions than answers, and I don't pretend to have any of them. But if this describes you or someone you love, please get help. It is never too late to ask for help. It's not about judging someone or trying to "fix" someone, it's about meeting them where they are, and loving them, no matter what.

As a mother of a son who took his life rather than be able to rid himself of addiction that was compromising his character, I have suffered the consequences of his actions for over two decades. My pain will not go away. I heard him say why they kept quiet about their son's illness but I will not understand their reasoning. He mentioned that they wanted to protect his dignity. That sounds like false pride to me, and isn't that one of the sins we are asked to avoid. To me they are just perpetuating the stigma associated with mental health, addiction, and other "untidy" diseases that we find too uncomfortable to speak about in polite company. That is a shame.

You've got strong opinions..........that makes you capable of being someone who can help break the stigma of mental illness and also addiction! I am happy about that. May the Lord bless you abundantly for your good work! xxooo

It is false pride. I have suffered the same thing with my youngest daughter, who is now 22. Watching a child spiral down and away is one of the most terrible things a mother can experience. I also attended Saddleback Church pastored by Rick Warren for 6 years to get the strength to get through every day while dealing with my daughter. It would have helped greatly if he had shared what was happening with his son and maybe even started an Al-Anon type support group for us parents. But he didn't. He does have his Celebration Recovery but it doesn't address the needs of 18 to 30 year olds. I asked the church repeatedly if they would include a special group for them, but they chased me away. What does this tell you? I no longer attend Saddleback Church and my daughter will hit her one year sobriety date this week thanks to AA and some wonderful caring people also in recovery. I thank God every day and so does my daughter. She felt his presence in her life. As for Rick Warren? "Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not unto thine own understanding." Not trust in Rick Warren with all your heart. He has forgotten. The saddest thing of all is we lost another young man who was just at the beginning of his adulthood. Tragedy.

Inspiring and emotional interview, but what if......... what if one parent took Matthew away for a year, new country, new surroundings, new start. No medication, no internal influences, no internet persuasion, just son and parent 24 / 7. I am sympathetic to the Warrens, but I can honestly say if my son had been threatening to kill himself for 10+ years, I really would have taken him away somewhere safe, I think the Warrens were too accepting. Certainly I wouldn't have been texting him in the hope that he didn't pull the trigger.

Marissa we don't have all the information about this situation. There is no way to know all the things that his parents did do for their son. Maybe they did try taking him away. Can you imagine how their hearts must ache for their son? It would be much better to post something that by chance would offer their hurting souls some comfort. I'm sure they must have tried EVERYTHING possible to help their son. Please remember to not be quick to judge other people...you don't have any idea what these 2 poor parents have gone through. Praying God surrounds them with His LovingKindness during these awful months.

It is unbelievable that the discussion is not about the son who committed suicide , but about how their wonderful, rich, enabling parents, who started their own church couldn't stop him. They even knew he was going to do it. What a bunch of crap. Listen to their words and then ask what they actually mean.

This kid didn't kill himself to goto heaven. he killed himself because he was depressed. And stop justifiying his actions by some oblique reference to scriptures. The two parents are delusional!!!

When you are in mental torture you don't care at a certain point whether or not there is a Heaven. Nothingness would work too, after death. It's called relief! You simply want the pain to stop. You would do anything to make the pain to stop. It's that simple.

Also, it doesn't matter how many people 'know you're going to do it'. If your mind is made up, it's made up. Nothing can stop you. Oh sure, people will feel bad after you're gone and wonder what they could've done. The answer is nothing. Again, I speak from personal experience. This is my life as I know it. This is the life of millions of Americans in this country too. It's the problem that nobody would like to speak about but it definitely exists and affects so many.

David: "The two parents are delusional!!!"
David: "I apologize for the comments that may have suggested that the two parents were delusional."

Look, David, I don't know if anyone was offended by your original comment. I certainly don't care about your opinion. Where I got annoyed was when you issued a fauxpology in the best politico/celebrity fashion. Seriously, man, "may have suggested"? Your comment wasn't veiled in double entendre: it was *overt*.

Me: With all due respect, I think David is a moronic, mouthbreathing result of inbreeding. However, I apologize if anything I may have inadvertently suggested about David was misinterpreted as offensive...

No one said that he died to go to heaven. Rick Warren was talking about the I credible pain that his son felt. Remember, the brain is an organ like other organs in the body and it is a very complicated organ...it can become diseased just like your liver, pancreas, heart, etc. stigma needs to be reduced so people get the help they need early as this serves to bring about the best outcome. Rick Warren and his wife were trying to instill hope. Everyone has a different threshold for pain for whatever reason. Adina Wrobleski states....choice implies that a suicidal person can reasonably look at alternatives and select among them. If they could rationally choose, it would not be suicide. Suicide happens when...no other choices are seen.

The worst physical pain I've experienced was an infected cavity. The pain was so bad I was willing to do pretty much anything to make it go away.

Speaking now though of the mental torture I have to endure every day, I would dare say it's worse than my infected cavity. It's the kind of pain that indeed drives many to an early death via suicide. If you haven't been there then you simply don't understand and can't imagine it. I myself wonder how much longer I'll hold out.

On this matter, you either get it (as you've been there) or you don't because you haven't been there. If you've had the fortune to escape such torture count your blessings. Your life could be far worse than you could ever imagine.

Hey canamer, I pray you find strength to seek help and continue fighting! I work with adolescents and adults who suffer from different mental illnesses, and I know it is a continuous struggle, but keep the faith!

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I have gone through it myself and still do on a a daily basis. I attempted suicide for the last time nine years ago. After I saw the affect that attempt had on my children, I promised I would never do it again. I still look forward to the day I die for some other reason, whether natural or by accident. I have always wished I could be one of those people who is just 'happy', but I just can't seem to ever get there for very long. I simply exist. Someone took that ability away from me a long time ago and all the prayers, meditation and therapy I've given it just isn't working. Until the day I meet Jesus, I will continue to hang out in this world and wonder why I'm here..... Perhaps someday you and I will both get answers.

Tanya, good for you for putting your children first. Tanya sometimes a purpose has to be so blg as to seem impossible to be big enough to fulfill a person's need for purpose. Perhaps God has a very big purpose for you. Seek after it. I am involved with M5M or Mission 5 Million. Ever heard of it? Sort of like Toms shoes, buy a pair and they give a pair to a child in need. Our goal is to save 5 Million children under the age of 5 from dying of malnutrition. Tanya seek after that greater purpose. God bless.

Thank you, Marian. Your kind words came to me at a time when I really need to hear them. I have had some difficulty lately that has really caught me off guard. After months of being 'happy', I wasn't prepared to be thrown back into a depression. Your words are a great reminder. Since reading them, I have been and will continue to look for that bigger purpose. Thanks again and God bless you!

Lisa Shaw, please stop rationalizing suffering as if it can be thought of as a good thing. It is NOT a good thing. There is no joy nor comfort in it WHATSOEVER. Nor does it make a person who suffers from depression feel any better in believing in such an ignorant thought process. If you wish to continually suffer and claim it to be a gift from God, Lisa – that is your prerogative, but you are belittling and insulting the intelligence of others to claim that THEIR pain (WHICH IS NOT YOURS) is a good thing.

Yes indeed! I'm with you! Pain is what tells us that something is wrong. It often also tells us that something is right.........like when you have to leave an abusive relationship. There's pain, but ultimately there's healing. xxooo

I am reading this article with tears in my eyes, as we are battling to save our 16 year old son who is currently hospitalized, yet again. It is horrific to see your child in this kind of pain and know that they feel their life isn't worth living. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Mental illness is a terrible thing, and it is still so stigmatized and there are not nearly enough resources for those trying to get help.

Find a doctor Board Certified Nurse Practioner (that's who I have) who will do a DNA test. This test is available and will tell your son's doctor or treatment person which psych meds his body will accept and deal with in the best possible way. The test also shows which meds his body cannot tolerate. Although this DNA test has been available for some time, most psych physicians or psychiatrists are not using it. Why not?! Also, if at all possible, don't take your son to a county psych clinic. I have never found a county psych clinic to be of any value. I wish you the best. Your son is in hell and you suffer right along with him. xxooo

I've been where you are. Are you familiar with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)? I've been an active member for almost 30 years now. This is an organization of people who have serious mental illness and their friends and families. It started with small groups gathering for mutual support and education, and has grown into a force for change. They are an excellent source (www.nami.org) for information on all topics concerning mental illness, and their 12-week education course, NAMI Family-to-Family, has now been officially accepted as evidence-based-best-practice. I've seen many people come into these classes feeling overwhelmed and leave feeling armed to face their future. Knowledge IS power! My 55-year-old son has had schizophrenia most of his life. The best advice I can give anyone is to go to the NAMI website and look up your local affiliate to connect with any of their variety of resources.
And God bless you all.

i want to know what caused this boy to have mental issues in the first place, most mental issues don't just come from nowhere, for him to want to take his life some kind of trauma had to have happened to him especially if he has talked about suicide in the past. so what happened to this kid the parents aren't telling or don't know but need to find out cause the gun was not the culprit the sickness he had was and if they had this guy in treatment he wouldn't have been able to get this gun cause the state guidelines says anyone with mental health problems cant own a gun,or buy one so somehow the parents need to find out or tell what traumatized their son

My son lacked oxygen during labor & suffers from comorbid dx, one of which is a mental illness. The parents dont have to have a mental illness in order for the child to have one. Certain drugs can cause mental illnesses too...not implying their son was on drugs ever but just stating a fact on mental illness.

When trying to understand "mental illness" keep in mind that it is a brain disorder. A brain disorder. A brain disease. It's organic. It's physical. The illness which is commonly referred to as "mental illness" which it is not because it is a brain disorder is caused by a glitch in the brain. There are many causes for this disorder. Lots of times it's genetic, but not always. People need to understand that a person with this brain disorder cannot just "will it away" because it is an illness just like any other physical illness. I hope this helps you in understand what "mental illness" is all about. xxooo

Also a TBI (traumatic brain injury) can cause a kind of "mental illness". People with head injuries lose some brain function as do people with a "mental" illness, which as I've said before is a brain illness. xxooo

The blame for this sits squarely on the shoulders of the parents. I feel no sympathy for Rick or his Church. I do not believe in any god whatsoever and if there is one, then that god is a coward that is not worthy of worship for what they did to their own creation. It is following all religious cults that has caused expansive damage to the entire human race without justification. Sickening really.

Lisa, there are literally THOUSANDS of God's that you do not believe in (Osiris, Vishnu, Zeus, Inti etc.) – so telling someone that there lack of belief takes more effort than having faith should be an indication to you that what you are stating is absurd.

If someone one who believed in Odin came up to you and stated the EXACT same things that you continually state over and over about their own personal belief in their God and that you should "HOPE YOU WAKE UP BEFORE YOU DIE! IF YOU REALLY RESEARCH WITH AN OPEN MIND YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED AT WHAT YOU FIND."- would you believe them and believe in their God? Didn't think so. You don't want someone to research with an open mind. You just want them to believe in YOUR God.

Thank you, Ryan, for enlightening us on your view of "religion", and also for showing us your inability to show compassion to a suffering family simply because their views do not agree with yours. So, unless someone is in harmony with your worldview on spirituality, you are unable to express sympathy for a tragedy? My views don't dovetail with the Warrens' either, but that doesn't mean I will "blame" the parents when they have already suffered excruciating pain over the loss of a son.

No where in the bible does it say that suicide is an unforgiven sin. Rejecting Christ as your Savior is the only unforgivable sin. God's Grace is bigger than any mental illness for those that love Him.

But what if in my mental state I put the gun on your head and blow you away before I blow myself away? Does God's "grace" contradict his word which teaches that... does who commit murders will not go to heaven? On the other hand, since true Christianity is a relationship not a religion, anyone that is so hopeless in their depression that is willing to blow their head off... don't seem to really be having a sound relationship with almighty God.

My 21 year old son put a gun to his head almost 2 years ago. Just 1 1/2 years prior he lost his 21 year old sister to a pulmonary embolism, he then slipped into a deep depression for the 1st time in his life, and my wife and I could not pull him out of it. Many of the comments here are Incredibly ignorant, and my only wish is that you do not someday have to feel the pain that my wife and I have had to endure. Depression is a serious illness that affects people from all walks of life, and this much I can guarantee, you and your family are not immune from depression and the consequence thereof, suicide.

Lisa Shaw, please stop rationalizing suffering as if it can be thought of as a good thing. It is NOT a good thing. There is no joy nor comfort in it WHATSOEVER. Nor does it make a person who suffers from depression feel any better in believing in such an ignorant thought process. If you wish to continually suffer and claim it to be a gift from God, Lisa – that is your prerogative, but you are belittling and insulting the intelligence of others to claim that THEIR pain (WHICH IS NOT YOURS) is a good thing.

I am so sorry to hear of your losses and your pain. Some 20+ years ago my 39 year old brother took a gun and killed himself. He called me before he did it and told me what he was going to do. I was devastated and said to him everything I could think of to try to talk him out of it. He was in Colorado and I was in California. I could not be there to grab that gun away from him and get him to the hospital for some help. Days prior to his suicide I made him promise me that he would come to CA and stay with me so that I could find help for him. He promised! He lied! He died and it killed me. I could not bear the pain and I prayed that God would take me right there and then. But He didn't and I grieved for what seemed forever. My comfort, when I did allow myself to be comforted, came from my belief in God. xxooo

Children can be born with biochemical or neurogolical problems. One never knows what the gene pool is going to pan out. Environmental is, equally, as important.
Objectively speaking, again, it is about genetics.
For the believers, out there, God did not give us anything that we cannot handle.
If one's heart is true, they will find a way.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. I didn't know why I felt so hopless and frightened. I finally went to a doctor when I was in my 30's and he told me it was a chemical inbalance in my brain. I am 65 now and I have managed through paxil and talk therapy to go on. I have never attempted suicide but I certainly understand those who suffer with this awful affliction.I have thought about it frequently, but for some reason I am fortunate to not have attempted it. It is not because of any faith in god or Jesus that has kept me strong. I am an agnostic and am happy for my choice. My empathy and sympathy goes out to any parent or child whose loved one commits suicide. Rick Warren's son was hurting so bad he saw no other solution.

Thank you for "coming out" and sharing your personal experiences. This is what we need. People with brain disorders, like you and me, need to stop feeling ashamed of our disease. People with other kinds of physical ailments are not judged like we are. I applaud you for your courage. Marti xxooo

Really sad (and speaks volumes as to the stigma) that you have to refer her sharing of experience as "coming out". When will there come a day when there will be no element of "shame" attached to mental illness? Our society is still so "backwards" in that sense.

Dear Rick and Kay,
I watched you last night on Piers Morgans show. I felt so related to the issues you stated about Matthew, I was overwhelmed. I am 51 and after years of phychiatricts and more medications that my husband has to dispense them for me. I probably wouldn't do it. I was placed in a regional mental health hospital and remained there for 4 months. I too was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, along with clinical depression. When I look back on my life I realize it probably started in my early 20's when things changed. My husband is a good support but I try to hide a lot from him so he won't get upset same with the family, that saying "Fake it till you Make it" I just don't think I will make it like Matthew must have felt. The darkness just swallows you at times you never know when it decides to rear its ugly head. I still have suicidal ideation and homicidal ideation. In Canada I find it much more harder to find a gun, which yes can be a good thing but when you really want to end this pain that you feel will never go away, you want a gun bad. You made a statement that summed up quite a bit if my life. I use to have a fair amount of friends that I was social with quite a bit. Now I don't want any friends they drain me and it does take to much maintence. I am so happy that you have this strong faith in God and that Matthew was given this gift as well. I feel like God wouldn't even want me.
Kay I loved your HOPE box and your message box I am sure it has helped you immensily.
God Bless you both and Matthew.
He is in a nice safe place now with no inside darkness.
annette

Annette, I am replying to you but this post is for everyone on here too. I too suffer with depression but not to the extent of you or Matthew. however, having depression that at times leaves me unable to function well makes me understand what I hear from you and people like Matthew. I can only imagine that depth of despair. what people need to understand is that it IS a disorder, it IS and illness. and just as people have to control a physical iillness or disability as best they can, it is the same for someone with mental illness. I pray that you find some moments of joy in your life. those small moments of joy and love – please think on these things as best you can and find the support that you need as best you can. life is short and life is not happy for a lot of people. with love and care I write to you. Susan

I've been looking for a video of the entire interview. All I've found is one and two minute tapes of parts of the interview. I found these on uTube. Maybe CNN will allow the interview to be available on their website. Good luck! xxooo

Why can't I view the entire interview? Instead it seems to be completely taken out of context in order to place emphasis on the gun control issue! That is so wrong! Using a tragedy and someone's death to propagandize your point of view! Piers You've completely lost my respect because of this. I'm sure You've added to Rick & Kay's pain. Way to go mr. Morgan!

The entire interview is being shown again tomorrow night, 3 times on CNN I think. Check out your tv guide or go online to find it. Check out Saddleback Church because Pastor Rick has posted the times. xxooo

By looking at me from outside you would think that "I have it all together" I have suffered from bipolar for 27 years. With the on-slot of mental illness came anorexia. One thing that I am sad to say is the loved ones that try to help but they just don't get the "dark hole" One thing that I could really relate to is when Kay said the last thing that Matt text her was that he was so tired! Wow! I have planned my death out several times but I think that starving to death would not be my fault and then my family would not blame me. By the grace of God I am still existing. Mental illness is so misunderstood that is for sure. Sometimes I think that the movie (although I like it) "One Flew Over the Coo Coos's Nest" did not really shed light on the severity of the illness. Maybe even stigmatized it wrong. On closing I would like to say that if you really do not "get" mental illness please do not judge those who live it.

I think the mother is a worthless mother how can you sit there and blame it only on your son!
Having a GAY son IS it that bad ,,,He"s crying for help!! The Father also you lost your son because of your your religious believer powering antics sorry for your loss of a beautiful being!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It isn't always about Mental Illness that people commit suicide, sometimes its just hopelessness. In my case it is from making a bad choice, now I can't find a job, the only reason I am not homeless is the help from my parents, I owe money to the court system, IRS, ex-wife..she keeps my kids from me...what is a reason to stay here. Don't say for the well being of the children or others...where are they when I need them? My daughter didn't even say hi to me when I ran into her at a football game tonight. Can you really say you were there for those in your life that commit suicide. We need to look at what social issues lead to these illnesses/thoughts not just curing the 'mentally ill'

John,
I certainly agree with you regarding social issues. You seem very depressed and in sorrow. I would really encourage you to seek medical help perhaps even a mental hospital to get well. Regarding your "bad choice" that was made there are jobs out there that give second chances to people with records, or past ethical issues (not saying you did any of this but merely for an example) so I encourage you to either go to a temp agency (you gotta start somewhere) or depending on what state you live there are numerous workforce offices to help you get a job. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I just have to mention one more thing to you, my brother said the same thing regarding his kids "dont say for the well being of the children..." because now his 5 year old son cries every time he is at my mom's house (where my brother lived before leaving this earth) and goes and sits in front of his dad's picture and stares at it for a long time. You may say there is no benefit/purpose to your life but I promise you your children would be devastated. My heart goes out to you.

Where do I start? I have been a believer in God and JC since birth. I am a Christian. I am so sorry that your son Matthew is gone. I am so sorry that he chose to take his own life. I am so sorry that you worried about this much of his life. I was a neighbor to a couple and their daughters. One of their daughters took her own life. I really do not understand why she did this. I cannot seem to get over it. I think God is calling me to be an advocate against suicide.

Please try not to judge others. We can never know what we would do in a given situation until we get to that point. We know that God loves us abundantly and that He has a plan for each of us. We do choose how to respond to God and to each other. We also know that God will work good in all things for those called according to His purposes. Trust Him.

I can relate to your story. I have a son with mental illness. I believe there needs to be an awareness of the difficulty families have of getting help when their child is in crisis. I have stories you wouldn't believe. I believe some of these recent tragedies could have been prevented if families could have gotten help for a member in crisis. My son has agreed to write a book with me so both sides of the story could be told, but we have never done anything like this. I would like to be apart of helping other families, and also apart of bringing awareness to changes that need to be made to make it easier to get help.

His wife, Kay Warren, wiped tears from his cheek as they talked about the five months since their 27-year-old son, who had borderline personality disorder, shot himself with a gun he bought illegally online. The Warrens combined personal moments from their story Kay hugging her son s body as the coroner took it away, Rick reading sympathy letters from people who Matthew had led to Christ with their .

Post a comment

CNN welcomes a lively and courteous discussion as long as you follow the Rules of Conduct set forth in our Terms of Service. Comments are not pre-screened before they post. You agree that anything you post may be used, along with your name and profile picture, in accordance with our Privacy Policy and the license you have granted pursuant to our Terms of Service.