The Real Way to Romance a Guy

Webster's defines romance as trying to influence someone with personal attention, gifts or flattery, but any guy I know would simply explain it as "doing stuff that feels good but isn't sex." Surprisingly, it's not the huge gesture but the one that's tailor-made for your man that will leave him swooning. For example, there was the ex who noticed that I was always reading copies of Sports Illustrated at newsstands, so she surprised me with a subscription. Another old girlfriend, in one of my favorite romantic moves ever, organized a game of Wiffle Ball on my birthday and got a Carvel ice-cream cake (Fudgie the Whale!); she knew I'd had one like it at every party growing up. What else might turn your guy into man mush? I've got a few suggestions.

1

Get him far, far away from his Wii, his buddies and his boss

For a man, traveling anywhere distant enough that he needs to book a hotel or change the hour on his watch has the same effect as putting on a tuxedo—we get to act like someone else…or at least like a more refined version of ourselves. I once had a good relationship that got an instant upgrade to great after a weeklong vacation in Dublin. And, no, it wasn't the Guinness. Something about the green hills, the castles and the misty air made me want to cuddle and see her in an Irish sweater, and nothing else. It was like falling in love all over again, and we managed to carry the giddiness back home with us.

2

Don't ask, just do

My brother had been cooped up in his apartment all weekend, working to meet a deadline, when he received a text from his girlfriend: "Look outside yr door." He did, and found a basket of snacks and energy drinks. She was long gone, and when he called to tell her to come back, she refused, saying, "Finish up so we can play later." People always use the "if you need anything let me know" line, but she (literally) delivered. He insists it's the most romantic thing a women has ever done for him.

3

Wake him up naked

Pretty much nothing in our day beats looking at you in the buff, so imagine the impact when it's the first thing we see. But this is a column about romance, not sex, you say? Believe me, you naked in the morning light is guy-romantic, making us feel all warm and fuzzy. (And then it's true: He will want to have sex.)

4

Make him feel like a stud

One thing that leaves us chest-thumping like the star of a bad football movie is the belief that we're keeping you happy in bed. So anything you do that affirms this—a compliment here, a trip down sexy memory lane there—is good by us, even if it involves grabbing our butt and using crude language. I told you we were different from you….

5

Support his little indulgences

I have a friend who lives for the World Cup. He adjusts his work schedule around matches and wears an Italia jersey round-the-clock. His fiancée couldn't care less about any of it. So when she called him to find out how his team had done, he thought she was being sarcastic. But no, turns out his girl had genuinely reached out simply because she knew how much it mattered to him. After some prying on my end, he admitted that her little gesture had struck a major chord: "I'd kind of hidden that part of my life from her; now I can be myself more." Hmm, knowing and accepting each other? Being completely comfortable with your partner? I'm going to say nothing tops that for romance—except doing it all naked.