--A strange species of toad, the Bufo, secretes a poison when threatened and can actually kill a dog.

And consider the following multiple-question test:

1. Where did presidential candidate Gary Hart meet Donna Rice?

2. Name the state where the Rev. Jim Bakker achieved spiritual bliss in a hotel room with Jessica Hahn.

3. Where was born-again singer Anita Bryant living when she lost her job selling orange juice on TV after launching a national crusade against homosexuals?

Answer to all three: Florida.

WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT, the fact is that Florida enjoys a certain outlandish notoriety.

We are Number One nationally in cockroaches, death-row inmates, thunderstorms, tomatoes, hazardous-waste sites, drug busts, divorce, and deaths from high blood pressure, strokes, lightning and bicycle accidents.

Some people wonder about all this, and search for a dark, inner meaning behind such things as the Palm Beach Baptist church that offered its flock training in the Christian use of firearms.

Has Jupiter, people ask, finally collided with Mars? Or is all this some fifth-dimensional aberration from discordant vibrations generated by the throbbing presses of the National Enquirer, headquartered in staid Palm Beach County?

Those who live here know that their day-to-day reality too often reads like headlines from the Enquirer. Consider the following -- all true stories:

Hollywood Man Hugs Father To Death.

Broward Prisoner With AIDS Bites Deputy.

Baby Jesus Kidnapped From Manger.

Most Floridians have developed a certain immunity to all this. But for the newly arrived, it helps to remember that Florida sits on the western edge of the Bermuda Triangle, that mysterious sinkhole in time and space that gobbles up ships and squadrons of airplanes.

``You`ve got to watch out for the vibes around here,`` warns one young man who makes a living by selling coconut milk to the sunset-worshipping denizens of Key West. This guy should know: He claims to be receiving direct orders from a giant, invisible pink flamingo that rules his life.

THE NIGHT IT RAINED MARIJUANA

THE RULES EVEN DIFFER FOR CRIME. At various times, Florida has led the nation in murder, drug busts, boat thefts, burglaries and white-collar fraud.

Statistics aside, the reality of crime in our state outstrips even the most convoluted Miami Vice plot.

Example: Robert Banta was asleep in his trailer when a 100-pound bale of marijuana crashed through his ceiling in 1981, showering everything in sight with disintegrated dope.

It turned out that airborne U.S. Customs agents had been in hot pursuit of a drug pilot who was throwing the 100-pound bales of pot from his aircraft in a desperate effort to destroy the evidence.

As Broward Sheriff Nick Navarro noted, ``It was the night it rained marijuana.``

Illegal drugs, of course, are as common as coconuts.

For example:

--Parents in Broward County recently asked the School Board to ban sunglasses in the classroom to help teachers detect those students whacked out on drugs and booze.

--One of Fort Lauderdale`s finest restaurants has the usual Proper Dress Required sign at its entrance. Alongside is another sign urging its customers not to dine while stoned.

Sometimes things get outrageously out of hand when it comes to enforcing the law in the nation`s drug-smuggling capital.

Narcs are often required to dodge more than bullets. One agent was attacked by a mountain lion during a raid on the headquarters of a $147-million marijuana smuggling ring in Fort Myers. Only the agent`s bulletproof vest saved him from a fatal mauling at the paws of the 150-pound cougar.

Some days the South Florida police docket reads like Alice in Wonderland Meets Bonnie and Clyde.

In the state that leads the nation in burglaries, a Fort Lauderdale resident had his house broken into six times in one year before he gave up and sold out.