Worst Swiss Dot: Rachel Weisz

Look, I don’t want you to think I’m not in favour of change. I love change, and I loved the hint, last night, that the Golden Globes don’t have to be quite as formal all the time as the other shows. Shorter dresses said hello and all.

Do you think, though, that this is how we should be going, Weisz? Do you think this is a good example of how to change things up? Miles of see-through Swiss-Dot? Who does this benefit? I mean, I suppose it means you’ve honed your thighs to be the same circumference all the way down, but it doesn’t make it a good look.

I’m not like the rest of you; I think Daniel Craig is perpetually sweaty and his hair makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. I don’t hold him to high standards or anything but don’t you think he would have said “oh, darling, don’t do that”?

Or are these two so blinded by love they can’t see the mistakes they make?