The World Series of Poker is NOT for Winners

I got home from closing the bar the other night around 230 am, and turned the TV on ESPN for Sportscenter. But it hadn’t started yet because the World Series of Poker Final was still going on, much longer than expected. I watched it for the last 15 minutes or so, and was shocked by the results. Not because of who won, or how it happened, but by what the final payouts were. These two on the right played one on one against each other for 119 hands over a span of about 7 hours.

Eventually the kid in the hoodie finally took all the chips and became the WSOP champion. His prize: 8.7 million dollars. But here’s what I think is nuts: the serial killer looking guy on the right who finished second won 5.4 million dollars. What??? Where’s the drama in that? What’s the point of hours and hours of televised “all ins,” back and forth lead changes, and one guy finishing with EVERY chip, if 2nd place is 62% as good as 1st place? Even the guy who finished 3rd and was long gone still won 4 million dollars. Imagine if you played poker with your buddy all night, took everything he had, but then said “hey, nice job finishing second, let me give you back 3/4 of your money.” Because basically that’s what happened. Weak World Series of Poker. Weak.

You know what the real move is in that situation if you’re one of the last 3 and guaranteed tons of money? Admit you don’t care what happens and play like a lunatic. Crack some jokes. Get drunk. Wear some crazy clothes. Try to get the most out of your time on national TV and extend your 5 minutes of fame as long as possible. Kind of like how Roy McAvoy lost the US Open but was still the winner in “Tin Cup.”