Republunatics at the Debate (Gate)?

“When I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees,” said Abraham Lincoln, the first Republican President of the United States.

At the first Republican presidential hopefuls debate on August 6, 2015, we witnessed angry wasps at war. (I did not say WASPs.)

“What a piece of work is a man!”, exclaimed Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

Donald Trump, (I did not say Chump), the leader of the pack, is a piece of work totally out of control.

Trump rattled verbal sabers against Iran, China and Russia.

He promised to incinerate Obama Care along with the nuclear arms deal with Iran.

He promised to mud-wrestle and mudsling anyone, anytime, anyplace.

He tried to mud-wrestle Megyn Kelly, one of the debate moderators, at the debate on TV and on twitter.

“The Donald” the twit twitted that “Megyn Kelly is a bimbo.”

That must be a “complement” to Megyn because Trump calls other women “fat pigs, dogs, slobs and disgusting animals,” including Rosie O’Donnel.

In a post-debate CNN interview, Trump said of Kelly, “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever.”

Trump refused to apologize. “Only a deviant would think I was saying anything about blood somewhere other than her eyes or her nose.”

Trump, le freak, the new Republican’s c’est chic!

What a shame for the Republicans to have a buffoon as front runner!

Megyn Kelly, like George Bernard Shaw, must have learned early in her career not to wrestle with a pig. Shaw said, “Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty and the pig likes it.”

Trump likes it!

I believe behind every great man is a great woman.

Who is the poor great woman behind such a big little man?

I wonder sometimes if Trump is a man or a Tasmanian devil?

“Taz” Trump grunts, growls, rasps and spins like a vortex on twitter, CNN and Fox and bites just about anything.

A couple of months ago Trump bragged about how he personally whipped China’s behind: “When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. All the time.”

(BTW, where do they manufacture all of those expensive Trump ties, shirts, tie clips and cuff links?

Are they “Made in China” or did Trump outsource them to be “Made in China city, Jefferson County, Texas”?)

“The Donald” promised to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border to stop “illegal immigrants.” He declared, “many killings, murders, crime, drugs pouring across the border, are money going out and the drugs coming in. And I said we need to build a wall, and it has to be built quickly.”

He did not say if his wall will look like the Berlin Wall or the Great Wall of China.

Trump could spare China a few beatings in exchange for engineering advice on the Great Wall of Trump.

I can imagine the inscription on the Trump Towers ( I mean the “Statute of Trump”):

With roaring lips. “Keep your criminals, murderers, rapists, drug dealers and other low lives right where they are”,
Your tired, your poor and huddled masses can breathe free somewhere else,
Keep the wretched refuse of your teeming shore on your wretched teeming shore.
Keep your homeless and tempest-tost in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a rudderless ship,
The golden door is shut! You can’t come in!

If he becomes president, Trump-onomics will save America from bankruptcy (whatever is left of the 18 trillion national debt today).

Lindsey Graham said, “Donald Trump is an out-of-control car driving through a crowd of Republicans, and somebody needs to get him out of the car. I just don’t see a pathway forward for us in 2016 to win the White House if we don’t decisively deal with this.”

It seems to me like Trump is taking a bush machete to a crowd of Republicans.

Marco Rubio pleaded poverty.

He was just a “po’ boy”, but now he is po’-werful. “If I’m our nominee, how is Hillary Clinton gonna lecture me about living paycheck to paycheck? I was raised paycheck to paycheck. How is she — how is she gonna lecture me — how is she gonna lecture me about student loans? I owed over $100,000 just four years ago.”

Whoa! Marco! Did you know Hill and Bill didn’t have a pot to _ _ss in when they left the White House?

Hill said, “You have no reason to remember, but we came out of the White House not only dead broke, but in debt. We had no money when we got there, and we struggled to piece together the resources for mortgages for houses, for Chelsea’s education. It was not easy. Bill has worked really hard. And it’s been amazing to me. He’s worked very hard.”

(I could imagine Hill and Bill standing outside the “Hamptons Shelter Soupline!” before they setup the Clinton Foundation).

You want a race to the bottom of the poverty line Marco, you lose, Bro. When it comes to being strapped for dough Marco, you ain’t got nothin’ on Hill and Bill.

Is Jeb Bush the Godfather of the Republican Party?

He said, “I’ve got a record in Florida. I’m proud of my dad, and I’m certainly proud of my brother. In Florida, they called me Jeb, because I earned it. They keep — they called me Veto Corleone. Because I vetoed 2,500 separate line-items in the budget.”

Don Vito Corleone in the “Godfather” said, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

Bush should make Trump an offer he can’t refuse to make him disappear from the political landscape.

Mike Huckabee directly challenged the divinity of the Supreme Court: “It’s time that we recognize the Supreme Court is not the supreme being, and we change the policy to be pro-life and protect children instead of rip up their body parts and sell them like they’re parts to a Buick.”

I never thought of that way. Ummm! The Supreme Being Court?

Pastor Huckabee of the Immanuel Baptist Church of Pine Bluff, Arkansas must have been thinking of the “Final Judgement” in Matthew 25.

I also never thought of body parts and car parts together. But why malign the GM Buick when you can go after the GM Chevy Vega (owned that rust bucket once)?

Ted Cruz said he would let the millions of people who are not in the country “legally” cruise right on out to wherever.

He vowed to fight the “gang” fighting to keep the gangs of illegals in America. “I have never supported amnesty, and I led the fight against Chuck Schumer’s gang of eight amnesty legislation in the Senate.”

Cruz’s “gang of eight” reminded me of the original “Gang of Four” of Mao Zedong’s Chinese Communist Party (CCP).

Shouldn’t Cruz gang up with Trump to take down the gang of eight and beat the heck out of the CCP?

BTW, isn’t there something in the U.S. Constitution that says, “No person except a natural born citizen shall be eligible to the office of President.”

Cruz was born in Canada. He renounced his Canadian citizenship last year.

That shouldn’t be a problem for Cruz because Obama was born in Kenya and still made president.

Marco Rubio said he will lead vanguard in the Obama counterrevolution. “We need to repeal and replace Obamacare; repeal Dodd-Frank and improve higher education so that people can have access to the skills they need for 21st century jobs.”

Dodd-Frank is said to be the “most significant change to financial regulation in the United States since the regulatory reform that followed the Great Depression.” Welcome to Marco Rubio’s future of 2008.

“Marco”?

“Polo” shouted back 16 other Republican pipe dreamers.

Can Marco trump Trump?

Chris Christie promised to incinerate the Fourth Amendment on the altar of the war on terror.

Christie bragged, “I’m the only person on this stage who prosecuted and investigated and jailed terrorists in this country after September 11th. I will make no apologies, ever, for protecting the lives and the safety of the American people. We have to give more tools to our folks to be able to do that, not fewer, and then trust those people and oversee them to do it the right way. As president, that is exactly what I’ll do.”

“Trust those people”? God save us all from “those people”!

Ben Carson, the only African American presidential hopeful would not rule out the use of “waterboarding torture” if he were president. “What we do in order to get the information that we need is our business, and I wouldn’t necessarily be broadcasting what we’re going to do.”

Ben should talk to Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Jesse said, “You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.” Jesse don’t play. He was Navy SEAL.

A-Ok! Isn’t there something called the “Geneva Convention” that prohibits torture, cruel and inhumane treatment of detainees? It takes a brain surgeon to figure that one out.

Rand Paul gored Trump right in the rump. “He buys and sells politicians of all stripes… He’s already hedging his bet on the Clintons, OK? So if he doesn’t run as a Republican, maybe he supports Clinton, or maybe he runs as an independent, but I’d say that he’s already hedging his bets because he’s used to buying politicians.”

Rand in presidential dreamland!

Scott Walker bragged he had “defunded Planned Parenthood more than four years ago” and that the “that unborn child can be protected.” He did not say much how proud he is busting public-sector unions and stripping them of their rights to collective bargaining.

Who is this guy John Kasich?

He is the only crazy one in the midst of the Republunatics.

Kasich said he would “treat the mentally ill” instead of putting them in jail.

What a nutty idea?

He said he would “rehabilitate the drug-addicted” which comprise of “eighty percent of the people in our prisons” instead of letting them languish in prison for years.

(Is Kasich playing with a full deck?)

He said, “economic growth is the key to everything” and “it is important that we reach out to people who live in the shadows, the people who don’t seem to ever think that they get a fair deal. And that includes people in our minority community; that includes people who feel as though they don’t have a chance to move up.”

Has Kasich gone coo-coo?

On what planet does Kasich spend most of his time on when he is not hanging out with the Republunatics?

Who is going to get the Koch Brothers billion dollar check?

Talking about money and power and power and money, Jimmy Carter last week said, “It violates the essence of what made America a great country in its political system. Now it’s just an oligarchy, with unlimited political bribery being the essence of getting the nominations for president or to elect the president.”

In “Politics”, Aristotle explains that the difference between a democracy and an oligarchy is that “democracy exists when the free and poor, being a majority, have authority to rule; oligarchy, when the wealthy and better born have authority and are few.”

But what is the difference between a democrazy and a democracy?

After 228 years of the founding of the American Republic, do we now have an oligarchy certified by a former American president, a democrazy, democrisy (as in hypocrisy) or democracy?

What did we witness on August 6?

A farce? Theater of the absurd?

Reality TV?

A political debate in a democrazy!

I must confess the debate reminded me of the French comedy-drama film “King of Hearts” in which a gaggle of cheerful lunatics escape the asylum and take over the town. (Don’t worry, not the White House, yet.)

But then the question occurred to me: Who is more insane? The gaggle of wannabes for President of the United States or those who are seriously watching the gaggle of wannabes for President of the United States?

In the second decade of the 21st century, we have a gaggle of clowns vying to become “the leader of the free world” and a gaggle of boobs watching them.

The only winner in the “debate” is Fox News. (I did not say faux news.)

Megyn Kelly was sharp as a razor. She trumped Trump with her zingers.

Chris Wallace and Bret Baier held the clay feet of the wannabe presidents to the fire. Kudos to them!

If future presidential “debates” are conducted the way these three grilled the wannabe nominees, the Fourth Estate may finally save the Republic. (I did not say Republicans.)

H.L. Mencken, the “Sage of Baltimore”, said, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.”

Of course, Mencken did not live to see Hill and Bill go dead broke after 8 years in the White House.

(Ted Cruz better be careful of what he wishes for.)

Mencken also said, “The typical lawmaker (politician) of today is a man wholly devoid of principle — a mere counter in a grotesque and knavish game. If the right pressure could be applied to him, he would be cheerfully in favor of polygamy, astrology or cannibalism.”

I am really getting to like John Kasich. Perhaps he could stop “republicannibalism” and save the Grand Old Party.

He makes a lot sense. He has a solid record of bipartisan political accomplishments.

He has an irrepressible independent streak in him. I like that!

If Kasich is the Republican nominee, I’ll bet he will give Hillary a run for her money (but she’s dead broke? Aah!), and do to her what Trump said he does to the Chinese every day.

They say no Republican has ever been elected President without winning Ohio. John Kasich is the governor of Ohio. In 2014, Kasich was reelected by 64 percent of the votes (a “landslide”). If Republicans want to win, there is the arithmetic.

By the way, has anybody seen my friend Jon Huntsman lately? Why don’t the best and the brightest Americans run for the presidency? (What did Mencken say about underestimating the intelligence of the American people?)

I confess I feel a little bit like “Rumpole of the Bailey”, the great fictional aging London barrister.

In the episode, “Summer of Discontent”, Rumpole laments: “Change and decay in all around I see. Our present masters seem to have an irresistible urge, whenever they see something that works moderately well, to tinker with it, tear it apart, and construct something worse.”