5 Reasons Why I Can’t Hate on the Dougie

So the dougie has been out for what seems like forever now, and it seems to be equated with the times when one does hoodrat things with their friends. I like to hit my dougie when I’m feeling ratchet and it seems to be the perfect dance move to express such ratchetery. But the dougie can be dangerous so be careful not to do it in the streets. O____O at that dude for real.

No one took the time to teach me how to dougie, so I’m a self-taught dougie-ist. By self-taught, I mean I watched many YouTube videos of Chris Brown challenging someone to a Dougie Off at the club. He seems to have spent most of the last year doing this. It’s like he went on a national tour.

Anywho, although I do dougie at times, it doesn’t keep me from roasting it. The dougie is a really feminine looking dance if you stop and watch it, yet men be the most enthused ones to hit theirs. The machoest of men are in the club neck-swerving JUST RIGHT and dropping down and getting their eagle on, all in the name of the dougie. Most folks look REALLY goofy doing the dougie.

But the cool factor of the dougie might have hit an all-time low when Justin Bieber was teaching Barbara Walters how to do it.

N’an one of them have a lick of rhythm. And Barbara is the age of life so you know she can’t hit her dougie right. It’s aight though. I shan’t hate too much on it. Why? Well, because in the past, we’ve done worse dances than the dougie.

5 Reasons Why the Dougie Ain’t So Bad Afterall

* We did the macarena. This alone should make us all be ashamed of ourselves. We did the macarena with so much enthusiasm! When it came out and the DJ played it at a party, it was instant crunk! Everyone would jump up and form a line, like the bugs in “Antz.” And no one knew the words but when it got to the “Macarena” part, everyone would shout.

Why were we so geeked for this? Someone tell me. Maybe it’s because everyone in the video looked like they were having a blast so we were tricked into it? I mean… what’s the other excuse?

Although, I will admit it’s a bit infectious. When I went to karaoke in August, the macarena came on. I may or may not have hopped off the barstool and twerked all 4 corners of that club. (.__.)

* We raised the roof – I remember when Uncle Luke, the Patron Saint of Ratchet Videos, came out with “Raise the Roof.” Mannn it swept the country. Everywhere you went, folks raised the roof. White folks, Black folks, young folks, old folks. Errbody was raising the roof.

Who TOLD us that looked anything less than lame? And as if that wasn’t bad enough, then…

* We got jiggy wit it – Will Smith tricked us into thinking rolling our shoulders like wheels and bobbing up and down was cool. We were blinded by his FAHNNESS stardom, so we just went along and got jiggy wit it.

The video is tacky, and Will got on the shiniest of suits. And that #allFloralEverything alphet (o_o) he had on was atrocious. Yet we still took him seriously. We are all so impressionable. I love me some Big Willie but he did us wrong by using his influence in that fashion.

Oh and did you know that Nas co-wrote it. Yes, Nas Escobar, he of “Ether” fame. His street cred should be revoked.

* We did the harlem shake – I can’t remember the first major video with the Harlem shake in it but that is one dance I never mastered. It was like watching folks have seizures standing up. On purpose. It really did look like you were losing control of your body’s faculties.

Ok sidenote: I love this video. And I miss E-V-E, the pitbull in a skirt. I need her to come through again with the short red hair and original super shiny mac lipglass. I miss this Eve.

Anywho, yeah, the Harlem Shake. Looked goofy as all to be. But we did it for a long minute too. Most of us (read: me) didn’t even have the body flexibility to do it well anyway.

* We did the chickenhead – When I first got to college, I saw folks doing this weird dance at parties. Me and my friends were giving this face O___o until we heard the St. Lunatics’ (Nelly an’ em’s crew) song “Breathe in, Breathe Out” and the beat went so hard in the paint. And we noticed everyone was doing the same thing but we didn’t know how. It looked like the chicken dance with a little bit more sass. And then we went to our dorm rooms, watched the video and practiced. We were official hooked on the chickenhead. Even though it also looked really goofy.

The fact that the song was called the chickenhead… But I must say, once I learned the dance, it was my only move for 3 years. I did it all through college. In fact, I’d even add the heel toe AND bend backwards for the matrix move in the middle of it to be fancy when battling someone at a party (O______O). And sometimes, we’d use just one arm to do the dance and slice through the air in our opponent’s face. YOU. GOT. SERVED.

Please feel free to judge me. I was such an urban youth in college.

I had to deprogram myself from doing this dance because it got to the point where anytime any music came on, my body would just start doing this dance without my permission. It was ridiculous. I’m a better person now.

Anywho, yeah so we did all these tacky dances, so I’m not sure we can much hate on the dougie. We might not be in the position.

What other dances should we be ashamed for doing? I woulda included the bounce and the tootsie roll but I still break those out on occasion.

36 Comments

Handing over my entire dance card. From the prep, to the wop, to the butterfly, to the pool palace, to the (insert trendy line dance here) I just can’t. Any dance that may cause me to spill my drink, I will not even be attempting. I realize that leaves me with the two-step, but I’m fine with that, really. WHAT!?!?!? I am?!?!?! Slinks off to corner booth so I can chair dance and bop my head and get jiggy wit’ it.

I must say…this bought back sooo many memories! I’ve done them all, some within the same song. I’ve hit that “it aint the butterfly, it’s the tootsie roll,” followed by a quick bankhead bounce, with a little harlem shake then did my sexy chicken head, then ended with the Dougie…I mean…who hasnt? I can’t call the “raise the roof” lame, because I do it at least once a day…*hangs head*

I’m mad because I can’t dougie or do any dance AT ALL to save my life.
I’m Black, Dancing is supposed to be easy for me right? I’m not supposed to look like I’m getting tased by the police when I twerk. -___-

The BOGGLE!! This whole post took me back to college. I was at every party there was. You couldn’t tell my West African behind that I wasn’t a Dancehall Queen and don’t let a Luke song come on. Lawwd, I was twerking like the rent was due tomorrow. Good times, y’all. Good times.

Once again, it’s proven how sheltered as hell I was/am. The only dance I recognized from this line up was the Macarena. O_O *shame faced*

Wait, that’s not quite true. The Harlem Shake is another one. The Dougie? First I’m seeing it; not impressed. Still not eager to see the Stanky Leg, and I only know Walk It Out because a fic-writer described it as dancing while mashing cockroaches.

I am not going to lie The Doughie is the a silly dance but I may have bust it out once or twice. Man I am not goign to lie I beat the Macarena bad when it comes on. Oh you forgot to mention the Electric slide, the cupid shuffle, and the Cha Cha slide, cause lets admit they are kinda a mess too, but we love em.

Oh and if the Doughie is a hot mess then the Cat daddy is a trainwreck. Like these two dances were CB’s signature moves for a minute. lol