2. The "Fun Center" or "Diet Sprite Consumerist Village" or whatever the Rose Festival's calling it these days was in especially damp, dreadful shape that evening. It felt like there was a police officer, Shore Patrol duo, or security guard for every five kids in attendance, and the largely teen crowd -- perhaps daunted by the fact that 80 ride coupons (about 20 rides) cost a whopping $50 -- was milling about, dancing to the hip-hop music blaring from the largely empty amusements.

3. That said, the best entertainment of the evening could be found at the insanely tall "Big Sling," located south of the main entertainment complex. Not on the ride itself, mind you -- $30 is a bit much to pay to be catapulted 300 feet in the air in a giant bungee seat. But four video monitors at the base of the ride fed video from a camera mounted on said bungee seat -- showing hilarious close-ups of large boys screaming like little girls (see above) as they hurtled through the firmament.

4. There's a whole bunch of cool info on the USS Lake Erie (CG-70) -- which is, by the way, the major testing platform for our nascent Ballistic Missile Defense System -- at www.lake-erie.navy.mil .

5. Finally, it's worth noting that, with the exception of the barstool-throwing incident, the worst behavior that this cartoonist witnessed that night -- by far -- came from a civilian: There was this woeful young fool, encouraged by his friends and wielding a video camera, who did a guerilla, hand-held dolly-in on a young woman's derriere, cackling all the while. "Jackass," indeed.