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Author
Topic: Frottage? (Read 7554 times)

First off...I am glad to see Ann and Andy and Rapid are all here and well. Where is the other younger gentleman who used to be a moderator as well? I hope he is fine as well. I followed your forum 4 years back. I dont remember what my ID would have been.

I never have 'sex' with anyone. Massage, hand-job etc has been my limit. Something happened 10 days ago, where I met a 20 year old and I let my guard down.

Now...I feel my body is collapsing inside. I have no energy to do anything. I force myself out of bed...but rather stay in bed the whole day. When I lie down, I go into very beautiful, peaceful sleep in minutes!!! This is so strange. I don't have a fever...but feel a sudden chill, hot/cold sensation. My neck is hurting. You tell me ...these dont sound like sero-conversion.

I know you will ask my exposure...few sec of him licking the tip of my junior and he used spit for the hand-job. There was massage and body contact (with clothes on!!!). I did something which I never do as well....we kissed. I think him being 20, I felt less threatened...what a mistake.

I feel I am seroconverting now!!! This feels so weird. As if some invader is taking over my body!! I don't know what to do. Do I have to test over this?? I never had penetrative sex with anyone.

I do appreciate what you do. Thank you for your patience and appreciate some guidance. I wish I didnt have to start the year like this!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Bear with me for a quick sec. Anyone from experience have had this in initial phase of infection? Severe dry mouth with coated tounge? No diarrhea though. Can this be the beginning of the GI system breaking down. I feel a shallow pain in the upper GI. No fatigue or anything else. I am praying it is a GI, Ulcer issue. Shouldn't this happen in the final phase of the infection.....? not after 4 months of exposure??

I know, I know - what is the exposure. 4 months ago...I am very carfeul and no anal exposure...just massage, JO and a received a few sec BJ. The whole idea of this disease and my belief system plays against me in my head and cant really go beyond that. I thought I was being safe (r).

I am really getting scared because of the sudden dry mouth and coated tounge. Any words of advice? I have been to the doctor and he is doing a lot of blood tests...but haven't done HIV. Should I tell him about my exposure or the lack thereof?

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

You didn't HAVE an exposure to hiv as nothing you did or had done to you could have possibly exposed you to hiv or transmitted the virus to you. We've already told you this and you should have known from your time on our previous forum.

Neither kissing nor getting your dick sucked are risks for hiv infection. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Being given a handjob or otherwise masturbated is also not a risk for hiv infection. Skin to skin contact is not a vector for transmission.

Make sure you read our Transmission Lesson. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread I linked you to above.

Sexually speaking, the ONLY thing you need to do in order to remain hiv negative is to use condoms for any anal or vaginal intercourse. Use condoms and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks Ann! Appreciate your reply. I really do! It helps to calm down my nerves ( i seem to have lost control of common sense lately). The reason I am being so nervous is that he came all over my chest and I know skin is a good barrier from the lesson...but I guess I was not expecting it and was not comfortable with him doing so.

Ann, Andy - Help.....I am about to lose my head. The dry coated tounge is still here and a sudden dull pain in upper stomach. I had never had an anal intercourse in my life. The HIV counselor told me if there was no penetration...nothing to worry about!

Seriously guys....EVEN if I had HIV...would the coated tongue be happening now after 4 months of exposure or it would happen in the last phase of AIDS?

I spoke to someone at work and she has the same dry mouth, coated tongue and her doctor sent her for HPV test. She came out -ve.

This is crazy...I am not sure if I can take it too long. The fear is mind numbing! I am tempted to get tested...but not sure if I can do this again.

How many ways can we say YOU DIDN'T HAVE A RISK FOR HIV? And which one will you finally believe.

Testing is unnecessary for you.

We don't diagnose symptoms here, although the ones you are reporting could easily be from tension as anything else. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

This is NOT an HIV situation. We're not going to go through another lengthy round of what ifs and fears with you. If you come back again with this non-risk stuff you are very quickly going to find yourself getting a Time out from the site. Consider yoursel warned.

Hi Ann...I know you might be around later tonight. I took time off from the site for 6 months battling with the issue secretly in my head.

I am stuck! Still the same GI issue and coated tongue. Went to the doctor today and he tells me that it is thrush but he is not worried because I am not the HIV 'type'. What? he doenst know about my life!

He is treating me for ulcer. Am I making a mistake? Should I tell him my HIV exposure? What if I am developing AIDS and will end up on someon's mantle in a few years?

Will you throw me a bone and atleast tell me....even if I by some wierd accident got infected...would I start having GI issues (ulcer like pain) in a year? I have never read people with HIV had ulcer like pain.

I am so done with sex and men : ) !!! I thought I was being safe with massages, j/o etc. I had never had anal with anyone! I guess I will learn my lesson the hard way. You are right...being so close to someone...you pick up all their past partners germs : (

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I am sorry I am back here again! Might be better just to get this viscous bug in the body than having to worry about it all the time. I have learned from

You all. I trust you... But the fear is driving me crazy!

A month ago I had a exposure of frottage... I am not a bottom... But he insisted and so I played along. He imitated the motions but stayed outside the anal cavity. Didnt make it in. He came much later in the evening when we jacked off. The issue is he has precum and I have been a little sore after that evening. I told myself that there was no real penetration.. So I should be fine.

Fast forward... Feeling lousy. No energy.. Want to crawl under the sheets and just sleep. Don't have any will power to do anything! My body feels like it's shutting down. Also, I am shaking (like when u have low blood sugar). No fever...but I am convince I am infected.

I am proud of you all that you have the guts to face this intruder everyday! I myself feel I don't have the strength to go to a test and figure out all these therapy etc.

Btw, my brain is like in the clouds...that's another sign ... Isn't it??

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Once again you have not had a risk for hiv infection. Frottage is NOT a risk.

Every single one of your symptoms can be cause by stress and in your case, I suspect that is exactly what's going on.

If you continue to feel unwell, see a doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv.

And if you think having hiv is better than worrying about it, then get yourself into therapy ASAP. Besides mate, you're going about it all wrong. You have yet to report risky behaviour in these forums.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks Ann! You are a sliver of light in my deepest time of despair! I am so lonely in this hole of torture, denial and all that crap. I don't know why it is so difficult. I didn't grow up deciding i wanted to be gay and then deal with all the cultural drama of being gay and now this lame ass virus!

How do we have all these self Assured gay men out here... Who seems to enjoy life as well as do something with their lives. Why am I stuck in denial and despair?

I wish I could come down and talk to one of you over a cup of tea. I am losing my mind! And I had so much to offer to this world... But I cant get my head to clear. Ann - was it you who talked about dreams... I have been having those vivid dreams ...then again I remembered those dreams are side effects of the drugs not a symptom of the disease.

How do we have all these self Assured gay men out here... Who seems to enjoy life as well as do something with their lives. Why am I stuck in denial and despair?

This is essentially the root of the matter. I seriously hope that you are able to work through the process of accepting your sexual orientation and your place in this world, a world that will likely contain the notion of HIV for the foreseeable future. Maybe working with a gay-friendly professional to make this process easier would help.

You deserve to be happy.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Thanks man! I think u are the only person ever who said I deserve to be happy. You are too kind!

I wish these physical symptoms were not there. I am almost borderline crazy ... Wondering when the other shoe will drop.

The fear of the virus ( hello ... I know it's not a death sentence) ... But the worry about the stigma is overwhelming! Hats off to you who can accept this intruder as well as move on. I guess its ok ... It's just is .. Like Ann says.

Of course you deserve to be happy. We can no more dictate who we will be sexually or romantically attracted to than we can dictate what colour eyes we are born with. Do people with blue eyes not deserve to be happy? Of course they do and so do you.

Don't listen to people who would tell you that you are wrong or bad or whatever negative attribute they try to shove down your throat - you're none of these things solely because you are attracted to other men. It's normal and it's natural, just as it's normal and natural for some people to be attracted to the opposite sex. It's part of life's rich tapestry. Wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same?

With that in mind, hiv isn't a punishment for being gay. It's just a stupid virus that isn't even alive in its own right. It has no idea what sexual orientation its host might be nor does it care.

Just use condoms for anal intercourse (or vaginal if you ever fancy a bit) correctly and consistently, and you will outwit that stupid virus. That's all it takes and yes, it really is that simple.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I am 99.6% sure I am infected. I have alreay stopped sharing food with the kids (eventhough I know its not a mode of transmission), I am being extra careful when I cut myself to not to touch someone. I want to get started with the treatment secretly. This will surely cause a divorce and a social agnoy on my part.

Symptoms: For 2 years: dry tongue, dry mouth, geographic tongue. You look up dry mouth and tongue and out of the 4 diseases HIV comes at the top. Short term memory is gone (another symptom) and pin pricks on my fingures (welcome neuropathy).

Exposure: Everything but anal. I slipped ...only to find moody guys with no respect . I am done with men...i wonder if I even wanted/needed that side!? Didn't really enjoy it. Have done few oral (insertive only). I thought I played it safe. I followed all your guidance. I am glad you taught me...however I feel like those wierd situations "the rash cream incidence" where I think I have picked up this hitchhiker on the way. I remember what Ann used to say...people aren't risky....its the behaviour.

Questions: Will the dry mouth symptom go away once I get on meds? I can't take it anymore. Will I be able to continue to work? How do I select a physician? When does the diarrhea start? What else do I need to do to keep my children safe given i am in the same living quarters with them?

I salute you JK and Ann for being brave and selfless. Wish I can stay productibe like u 2.

As you must know, it is ridiculous (and an insult to HIV positive parents) to withhold sharing food from your kids. You want to know how to keep your kids safe? Don't have unprotected anal and vaginal sex with them.

Or, you know, go get tested, collect what I imagine will be your negative result, and find a professional to discuss this overwhelming and irrational fear.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

We do not permit people to use PMs as a means of getting around paying a subscription for participation in the Am I Infected forum. You have used up your three free posts.

If you didn't know about paying a subscription, then maybe you shouldn't have ignored the large and lengthy IMPORTANT UPDATE that appears at the top of each and every Am I Infected forum page, including this one.

You are not permitted to use PMs to ask questions dealing with hiv transmission and/or testing anyway.

I have removed your PM privilege.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

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Do NOT use Private Messages to question other members about any transmission, testing or symptom issues. These issues must be discussed in the public forum. Misuse of the PM function in this manner will result in your PM privileges being removed without warning.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts