Ideal Life

If this comic makes you want to contact me, please first consider the following:
I realize this isn't everyone's ideal life. I know it isn't mine. This is just a joke I'm telling. Enough people find it funny for me to believe that it is indeed a joke. I'm sorry if anything here offended you, please know it was not at all my intention.
Also, I realize this implies that the threesome never takes place. I really do. No, it's okay, you don't have to inform me about it again. That's not even the point of this comic. You can stop bringing it up. Please.