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Well my life as an adventurer has officially begun. I knew hanging around in this tavern would pay off!

Some old guy offered to pay people to kill some rats, and me and 4 others jumped at the opportunity to make some easy coin. I didn’t know the others really at all, but we seemed to all be in it for the sense of adventure and to earn some coin… and well none of them stabbed me in the back so I guess it all worked out.

The rats were indeed easy, although there was more of them than we thought. I crushed many a rat with my hammer, and the others wandered around killing some… or just lurking in the shadows, I’m not even sure. I did find out that apparently the demons I trained with cursed me to only understand their language when I’m fighting… which made some communication difficult. Fortunately, the rats weren’t.

We got paid and got some surprisingly decent soup, and headed back to the inn. We’d collected some gold and other miscellaneous things of value in the guy’s cellar and split it up. Someone else eagerly asked about our next adventure, and just then the barmaid offered to let us know about some for a large tip. Eager for adventure, we did so, and heard about two more. Some caves or other, and rescuing a town from goblins. We decided on goblins.

We rested for the night and set out at first light. It took a couple days but we arrived at the halfling village and found that some children had been kidnapped by goblins. They pointed us in the right direction, we rested again, and set off at first light.

Surprisingly, we didn’t have any trouble finding where in the big “Goblin Forest” these kids were, because goblins are wusses and the first ones we tried to ask told us where they were. I guess they aren’t known for their fortitude. We followed one back to their base and a huge battle was upon us.

This was a good fight! Unlike those puny rats, there were enough goblins, and eventually hobgoblins, to keep us very busy. Two of my new companions fell at times, to be picked back up by my healing or that of our drunk cleric. I found I couldn’t hit the goblins very often, until our witch looked at them funny at least, and I was able to get some hits in while they were distracted by the witches curse. Or ramblings. Or whatever she did…. it worked.

The drunk cleric passed out for probably the third or forth time in this tale during the fight… I can’t say he’s my favorite companion… his drunkenness gets in the way of good adventuring… but I don’t suppose I can be too picky as I’m a new adventurer myself.

The battle won, we returned the one… for some reason only one… child who was captured to the halfling town. They rewarded us, and we headed back for the Horses Arse tavern/inn….

During our travels, I did at least learn the names and about the fighting abilities of these guys:
Dana, a witch, who is a little creepy… I’ve seen magic… heck I have some… but what she does looks very strange to me still. But useful.
Lem, a halfling rogue, likes to hide and stab people in the back. He seems pretty small and weak to be adventuring, but he seems to be nimble enough and can stay out of trouble to get by, so I guess it works for him.
Randy, a fellow human, appears to be masterful with that blade of his. He lacks magic, but makes up for it by actually hitting things that I can’t, apparently. He hacked up many a goblin, and I’m glad he was by my side.
And lastly, the drunken dwarf Golric. I think he’s some sort of cleric, but he’s clearly obsessed with drinking. I’m not sure how helpful he really was… he did heal us all once…. but he also healed the goblins we were fighting at the same time, so..

Anyway, hopefully there will be more adventure to come… we still have to check out that cave right?

I’m not sure how I got in this situation, but apparently I’m now part of a group of adventurers…

It all started when this man ran into the horse’s arse, the tavern I was staying at, he came in begging people for help with a rat problem he had under his house. I didn’t really want to help him but he asked one too many times and I just felt this strong impulse to go. Apparently I wasn’t the only brave soul to do it as a few other people followed him outside. Two strong fighters, a small halfling and a dwarf drunker than anyone I’d ever seen before, talk about a team.

We followed the man to his home and went down into the cellar. We found a couple of rats and took care of them easily, I quickly saw that our group was one dysfunctional bunch. One of the warriors, the one using a lucerne hammer, apparently lost all ability to speak common when in combat, apparently only able to speak abyssal. The halfling cowered and went a round trying to poke people with a stick and all the dwarf did was grab a rat, walked with it a little bit and passed out.

We eventually managed to get rid of them. We saw a big hole in the man’s cellar, down into it we noticed gold, a lot of gold. We quickly roped down and saw that not only was there gold, there was a whole underground series of tunnels down there.

We started following them, there were a few rooms around the place which we systematically cleared of all rat invaders. Once we killed a mother and her hundreds of babies, we heard noise coming from the tunnels, a voice speaking common. Something about bringing food for the children. As we left the room we saw a few ratmen, covered in feces, most likely coming from the room we had previously found we assumed was leading up into someone’s shitter.

We killed them and took their stuff before going back to the surface. Somehow, this dysfunctional group of misfits managed to stay alive through the whole thing. We got paid and made our way back to the tavern.

As we were dividing up our loot, they came up with an idea, why not stick together and work as adventurers, try to make our fortune that way. At first I wasn’t too sure but I felt like this might be a good way for me to make enough money so I’d never have to work again. So I accepted.

We talked to the barmaid who told us that some people in a village not too far away were having trouble with goblins. We felt it was a good idea for us to go and help them.

So we did, we travelled to the town, killing some bandits in the way who had overhead the dwarf yelling in the tavern about us having gold.

Once we were there we were told of the goblins kidnapping some children and taking them into the well-named Goblin forest. So we took off to search for the children.

We hadn’t entered the woods yet and we already found a group of goblins, four of them to be exact. While the others killed one of them, I put the rest to sleep. In their slumber we tied them up and as they awoke, I told them that whichever of them told us where the kids were being held would get to live, the others would suffer the same fate as the one we’d killed. They all tried to be more precise than the other. My plan was genius, obviously. After killing all three we took off and eventually found another group of goblins who mostly killed themselves falling from trees trying to “ambush” us.

We followed one of them to the camp and a big brawl ensued. I got hit pretty bad early in the fight when a goblin threw himself onto me from a higher platform. I had to almost crawl my way to the dwarf, who could heal people a little bit. I eventually got a little better and ran back into the fray to help the others take care of the dozen of goblins that were attacking us. When we thought we were done, this huge thing came out of a hut along with three crossdressing hobgoblins, something weird was going on here and I didn’t really want to learn more about it. We took care of those as well, somewhat easily and eventually found a single child. All this, many of us nearly dying, for one small kid. What a waste. We brought her back though and were paid a small sum for our work.

Hopefully our next ventures go a little better, I have no intentions of dying anytime soon.