Saturday, 25 May 2013

U is for Umbilical and Underwear

U is for Umbilical

It’s
not just me. I know. Because I have asked other people. A house without a pet feels a bit odd – and
you just know when you meet someone whether or not they have a child – and I
can’t quite put my finger on it.

You just become a different person when
you become a parent. And, my goodness,
you’re a parent for life. You never stop
worrying about them, protecting them, and forgiving them when they’re hurtful,
selfish, rude, ungrateful, etc! Parental
love is unconditional. It is, without
doubt, the most powerful thing I have ever experienced. It is a maelstrom of emotions, too. You go through stages (like the Terrible
Twos) when you could kill them – but you love them so much that you would kill for them – and you would certainly be
prepared to die for them.

I have been careful up to now not to make
this a sexist thing. But I’m sure the
whole ‘leaving the nest’ thing hits the mother most. You grew it.
You fed it. You taught it to eat,
speak, walk. If you grew a girl, then
you’ve spent hours ‘being there’ to talk about love, relationships, appearance,
and self-esteem issues. You’ve shopped
for clothes. (Ok. I am now crying a little bit as I recall
memories – that’s how powerful this
love is!)

Then.
It really is time to fly the nest. You know it.
You know it has to happen. But
you don’t want it to. You don’t want the
‘terrible two’, who you wanted to kill, to ever go anywhere. You have, willingly, devoted 18 years of your
life to this fledgling. And they have to
go.

My daughter didn’t really want me to take
her to university but she didn’t have a choice, really. Who else does she know who has an estate car
into which she can pack a duvet, bedding, music centre, clothes, lava lamp,
precious stuff, books, computer, printer, etc., etc., who won’t charge for fuel,
or time lugging things!

I was under strict instructions not to
make a fuss. And not to do embarrassing
hugs and goodbyes and ‘stuff’.

Having helped lug all her belongings into
her tiny room, and having had a quick look at the communal kitchen, it was time
for me to go – or should I say let go.

She was rushing about meeting her new
friends and was so excited. I was very
brave and just said ‘Bye then’. Without
a backwards glance, I went to the car and drove round the corner until I was
out of sight. I then stopped the car,
turned the engine off, and wept very
bigly for about ten minutes. It
hurt. Bloody hell it hurt.

U is for Underwear

I
bought a ‘bargain’ pack of five knickers in the sales. Got the wrong size. They were quite big. Couldn’t be bothered to take them back, so
they went into the emergency pile. I
have worn them. I like them. They are very comfy. They are very – um – unromantic. I’m feeling old and sad now. Time to move onto the next letter of the
alphabet!