Pass the Pepto with a nice hefty slice of gossip

Okay. I’m going to give probably way TMI here, but I’ll spare you the really gory details. Last night, I ate orange chicken from a place that rhymes with Manda Rexpress. Also some fried shrimp thingies. However, I’ve only been feeding my body fruits, veggies, whole grains, and good stuff for a while now, so guess what? IT TURNED ON ME WITH A VENGEANCE. Let’s just say that at 2 AM you can find some really freaky television, including that one alien movie with DB Sweeney where he gets abducted and gets the living shiznit probed out of him? Remember that one?

Okay, on to the goss! First, Mike Myers finally has a new movie out and it looks great.

The Love Guru

The movie is about a love guru (Mike Myers) and he gets people back together. Or something. I don’t know, but it looks really funny. I love Mike Myers.

Next! Kate Beckinsale has a weird name for her mysterious lady parts.

You said what now Kate?

So we all probably have a fun name for our nether regions, right? Well, Kate Beckinsale is sharing hers:

“I’ve only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh’s Tomb… My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I’m told it is spectacular. But you can’t really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?”

Okay, fair enough. But when you think of a Pharoh’s Tomb, you usually think sandy, dried up, and empty, which is most likely not the impression Kate wants to give. What do you call your Mr. or Mrs. Happy? Come on, I won’t tell. (leave your answer in the comments kthxbai)

Next! Angelina Jolie has written another thoughtful editorial.

I Didn’t Think I Could Love Angelina Jolie Anymore, But….

I have such a girlcrush on Miss Angiepants. Here’s a snippet from her latest editorial in the Washington Post:

What we cannot afford, in my view, is to squander the progress that has been made. In fact, we should step up our financial and material assistance. UNHCR has appealed for $261 million this year to provide for refugees and internally displaced persons. That is not a small amount of money — but it is less than the U.S. spends each day to fight the war in Iraq. I would like to call on each of the presidential candidates and congressional leaders to announce a comprehensive refugee plan with a specific timeline and budget as part of their Iraq strategy.

Reese Is Too Cute for Words

I love Reese Witherspoon – she’s a great actress, seems like a good mom, and she gets to boink Jake Gyllenhaal. Okay, maybe that last part I don’t like because technically Jake is my boyfriend, but I digress. Here she is on the Ellen Show talking about parenting, garbage, and Polaroids:

She just seems like someone you could hang out and shoot the breeze with, doesn’t she? Me likey.

Next! How much did JLo spend to poop out her spawn?

Jennifer Lopez Is Really, Really Rich. Okay?

If you’ve had a baby, you probably spent tops $5k unless there were complications. Guess how much Jlo spent for her birth? Just read:

Jennifer Lopez has spent a whopping $1.4 million for her twins` birth.

According to reports, the new mom made sure her diva demands were met by spending the staggering amount. Sources says Lopez, who delivered a boy and a girl at North Shore University Hospital in New York on February 22, shelled out $700,000 to reserve the lavish birthing suite at the hospital.

She also spent $175,000 per week for the suit, which had been reserved for three weeks even before she checked in. The birthing suite has a large Apple computer monitor, private kitchen, two flat-screen TVs, and white couches. The 38-year-old singer/actress and her husband, Marc Anthony, paid another $300,000 for the private doctors and nurses, $300,000 for the security, and $100,000 for the personal assistants. According to In Touch magazine, an insider had heard that Lopez called her newborns Maximiano and Emelina.

Exqueeze me? Baking powder? I think those white couches are the best touch; they’re just perfect for catching the spatters of what-have-you. And heck, good thing she had a computer there because God knows you want to check frigging YouTube inbetween contractions. >>rolls eyes<<