The Feds Are Hiring Professional Marijuana Joint Rollers…Kind Of

The federal government is hiring professional joint rollers, according to a recent notice published by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA).

OK, that’s oversimplifying the job quite a bit. But twisting up “standardized marijuana cigarettes” with strains of various potencies will be one of the responsibilities of whatever small business lands a contract with NIDA to prepare and distribute research drug products.

If your business is capable of analyzing cannabinoids and research chemicals, creating “drug dosage forms” for compounds like THC and producing marijuana and nicotine research cigarettes “of varying strengths and specifications,” this could be the gig for you. Applicants must also obtain licenses to manufacture, research, distribute and export and import Schedule I and II drugs before the time of the contract award, which is estimated to be July 2019.

Here’s the full description of the job responsibilities:

-Acquire hard-to-find controlled and uncontrolled drug compounds and/or drug dosage forms and analyze purity, authenticity, and stability of these compounds while storing them in a secure and DEA-approved facility and having the capability to ship these compounds to research investigators.

-Manufacture standardized marijuana cigarettes within a range of varying concentrations of delta-9-THC and analyze strength and stability of them at various intervals while having the capability to maintain a secure shipping facility and to ship marijuana cigarettes to research investigators.

-Manufacture nicotine research cigarettes and analyze them for required chemical constituents at various intervals while having the capability to store and ship securely these nicotine research cigarettes to research investigators.

The successful applicant must be able to demonstrate “extensive experience with and the ability to perform the above tasks,” NIDA’s notice says.

There’s no information available in the federal posting about how much the contract award is worth—but the pay is presumably higher than what rapper Waka Flocka Flame offered for a full-time blunt roller position in 2015.

Rapper Redman Discovers 20-Year-Old Marijuana At Mom’s House

If you live in a state marijuana is legal, you might have already grown accustomed to having your freshly harvested cannabis sold in neat, child-proof packaging.

But 20 or so years ago, you were more likely to get something that resembles what rapper Redman’s mom recently unearthed: schwag stuffed tightly into little baggies.

In a video posted on Instagram on Saturday, Redman shared the discovery with his 1.2 million followers. He said his mom, who made sure the artist didn’t use her name in the post, found the baggies, which were still packed full of what he estimated to be at least 20-year-old bud.

“You gonna say not to use your name then say we’re selling it, mom?” Redman said.

One bag in particular—a triangle with a red symbol—”has history,” he said. It’s from an era of rap that saw some of the greatest marijuana enthusiasts: Biggie Smalls, The Lox, Cam’ron, Lil’ Cease, Norega.

“If you don’t know what that bag is, it’s from one of the east coast riders of marijuana,” Redman said. “Branson, baby. That’s an official Branson bag.”

No word on whether Redman tried to smoke the historic cannabis, but if it really is 20 years old, then it’s unlikely to be especially potent. So perhaps he’s better off holding on to the relic, or even donating it to the Weedmaps Museum of Weed—a pop-up exhibit that’s set to launch in Los Angeles later this year.

The Hertz social media team has to deal with a lot of questions and complaints on any given day. But on Thursday, the rental car company’s Twitter account heard from someone who was especially upset that the vehicle they picked up in California was “infested with the smell of marijuana.”

The person behind the Hertz account, who identified themselves as “JG,” apologized to the dissatisfied customer and recommended reaching out to its roadside assistance line for an exchange.

We are sincerely sorry to hear this. Please reach out to our roadside assistance team at this number 1-800-654-5060 and they may be able to arrange an exchange. Additionally, a nearby Hertz location may be able to help. -JG

Well, the customer, using the Twitter handle @landryandlee, had apparently tried that already and was asked whether the car was still drivable. If it was and they still didn’t want to drive it, the company’s staff reportedly suggested getting the car towed at the customer’s expense.

“To clarify, have you found drugs in the car?” Hertz’s JG asked. “Are you in immediate danger?”

To clarify, have you found drugs in the car? Are you in immediate danger?-JG

The customer was uncertain whether there actually was cannabis in the vehicle but said “I do not feel comfortable driving the car.” Worse yet, the customer’s son had a hockey game the next morning and “I have now spent my entire afternoon dealing with this and no resolution.”

Alas, as a member of the Hertz social media team whose job generally requires them to defer complaints to employees who can handle the situation, JG informed the customer that they “cannot assist further.”

We apologize. We as the social media team cannot assist further. If you did indeed find marijuana in the vehicle please document it, remove it, and contact the authorities if you feel it's actually necessary. If you are not in any immediate danger, please follow the advice. -JG

“If you did indeed find marijuana in the vehicle please document it, remove it, and contact the authorities if you feel it’s actually necessary,” the Hertz account replied. “If you are not in any immediate danger, please follow the advice.”

The customer did not find the advice helpful.

“You really cannot help me?” @landryandlee wrote. “All I want is my rental car to be replaced….how can a rental car company not take care of this???”

Hertz’s JG got props from some marijuana enthusiasts on Twitter for the chill response to what seemed to be a relatively benign situation. And one jokester followed up on the threat to ask JG whether it was possible “to have my next rental pre-loaded with pre-rolls?”

And the chill-as-always JG replied, asking the Twitter user to “DM us with your reservation number” and also “clarify your question.”

Please DM us with your reservation. number. Can you also clarify your question. — JRG