The Scroll

Katie was a huge fan of Xena so she was pleasantly surprised when she got a call. One day she was contacted by a lawyer about being the in someone's will that she'd never heard of. She arranged to meet the lawyer the next day not knowing what this could be about since she had never heard of this Grandmother Katherine who had named her the sole beneficiary.

She went to the lawyer's office the next day and walked into his office where there was a wooden box on his desk.

"Thank you for coming Katie."

"Is that it?"

"Yes it is. If you could just please sign her you can leave."

"You're not going to read a will or something. Isn't that what the lawyer does?"

"There's no need my only instructions were to contact you and give you the box."

Katie thanked him and left with the box. She was curious but decided to wait until she got home to open the box even though she was tempted to just rip it open in the parking lot but she didn't want someone to think she was some mental patient escapee if she started talking out loud to herself or to the box.

It's a good thing that I'm close to home since I might have had to pull over to open you up."

Katie opened the door and went inside. She walked over to the couch and set the box down on the coffee table.

"Now let's see what sight unseen Granny left me."

Inside the box she found a scroll with writing on it.

"A scroll?"

She couldn't read the scoll so Katie decided to call her friend Allie who was a computer whisperer.

"Computer guru at your service."

"Allie I need your computer skills."

"I know you are just beyond pathetic when it comes to computers."

"At least I know how to type."

"That's the spirit so you're not a total loser after all and you can spell too."

"Yes it can be depressing to see all those people badly in need of spelling lessons So what do you need my help for?"

"I have a scroll that needs translating."

"Well that's disappointing since that's no challenge at all."

"Maybe for you but not for me since I'm such a technotard."

"I'll be right over."

"Don't worry I've already ordered a pizza."

"Good I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

Katie looked at the scroll wondering what it would say. She couldn't help but think of the Xena Scrolls that were found back in the 40s so she couldn't help but wonder if this one was connected to them.

"It's possible since that guy did find that scroll in his attic or something which led to one of the most amazing shows ever."

Katie sat on the couch waiting for the pizza and her friend. She popped in a DVD to watch while she was waiting for the pizza and her friend to arrive. When the doorbell rang she pushed pause and grabbed the money along with the coupon. She paid the delivery guy and brought the pizza in. She went to wash her hands and to grab some napkins along with ac ouple cans of soda.

"Oh screw it I'm hungry. She'll be here soon enough and it's not like I'm going to eat the whole pizza before she gets here."

She grabbed a piece and pushed play so she could continue watching Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. The show had just ended when Allie rang the bell and called out.

"Computer guru is here."

"Keep your panties on."

"I'm not wearing any."

"I didn't need to hear that."

Katie opened the door to find her friend smirking at her.

"If I was Alex you would."

"Oh shut up and eat your pizza."

"I'll set the computer up so it can translate while we're eating. I guess you started without me."

"Hey I bought it and it was just the one slice."

"Yeah with a coupon."

"So what."

"Nothing."

Pushing buttons and working her magic Allie scanned the scroll and set up her translating program. She went off to the bathroom and came back to eat some pizza.

"Did you put the fan on or at least spray some Airwick when you were finished."

"Oh shut up. Let me guess you were watching Xena."

"So what it's an awesome show and it lasted longer than shows are lately."

"Yes I know we're all bummed by the killing of some pretty hot vampires that will just have to live in our heads and on DVD if they ever decide to release them."

"Shut up I'm still in denial about one vampire in particular."

"Let me take a wild guess and say that you think this scroll is a Xena scroll."

"Yes I do."

"Next you're going to tell me that you're related to her."

"Maybe not to Xena herself but who knows."

The computer started beeping.

"What happening?"

"Calm down girl the scroll is translated."

"Cool."

They went over to the table where Allie had set up her computer."

"Can you print this up?"

"Sure no problem."

"It's just not fair that you're a whiz with the computer while I can only brag about being able to type."

"Don't forget you can also spell."

"This is so exciting."

"I just love these wipe thingies."

"We're about to find out what this scroll says and all you can do is go on about the wipe thingies."

"Pizza can be messy and I don't want anything to go wrong with my baby."

"Whatever!"

Katie grabbed the pages and started reading them.

"I knew it this is a Xena scroll. It appears to be right after AFIN."

"What kind of fin?"

"A Friend In Need."

"Speak in words please. I might be a computer geek but that doesn't mean I don't use actual words instead of stupid text speak."

"Sorry I just couldn't resist. You know I'm not a fan of the text speak myself. Remember I only just figured out that LMAO is laughing my ass off."

The two laughed and wondered how much laughing it would take to laug their asses off.

"I guess we'll never know like now knowing how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop."

They both sat down on the couch.

"Respecting Xena's wishes was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I wanted to put the ashes in Mt Fugi to bring her back. I just don't understand why Xena was to blame for what was clearly Akemi's fault."

"Who's Akemi?"

"She was this girl that Xena met I believe right after leaving Lao Ma. Don't even say it."

"Say what? I know who Lao Ma is."

"Can I continue please?"

"Yes go ahead your bardship."

"From what Xena told me this Akemi used the pinch on her father to kill him which resulted in him becoming Lord of The Dark Land. Xena isn't to blame for that any more than a swordsmith is to blame for the lives taken by the one using the sword he made."

"Sounds like a bitch to me."

"Sure does."

"What else does it say?"

Out of nowhere a burst of light appeared and a second later a very handsome man in black leather appeared.

"Oh my God."

Katie looked over at Allie who was just as dumbfounded to find this man standing in front of them where there was nothing before. Allie never one to keep quiet for long spoke up first.

"Let me guess judging by the tall, dark, and handsome clad in leather look I'm guessing you would be Ares."

Katie just looked at her friend with her already wide eyes feeling like they'd pop out of the sockets.

"Your guess would be right."

"Why are you here?"

"Yeah isn't there a clone of Xena running around somewhere?"

"Very good Allie so you have been paying attention."

"I wouldn't mind a clone of this guy. Is it hot in here or is it just him?"