Is a Rihanna-J. Cole sex tape about to come out? Does Lindsay Lohan really think she is "just like Marilyn" Monroe? Christina Aguilera freaks over a child abuse rumor. Lady Gaga starts a fashion line with her sister. Thursday gossip has lecherous intents.

Hustler claims to have a sex tape starring Rihanna and rapper J. Cole. "We have seen it and we do not know what we are going to do with it yet." So either they aren't sure it's actually her (Ri doesn't believe it. She has the best reactions to sex scandals), or they're still negotiating a price, or releasing the sex tape would be legally dicey (age of consent? stolen property? copyright issues?), or they are concerned about the long-term effects of high-profile acts of female sexual disempowerment through the nonconsensual release of starlet-driven sex tapes into a misogynist society. Hahahahaha except not the last one. Nah, probably just a legal issue. [Radar, E!, @Rihanna, image via Bauer-Griffin]

After Megan Foxstepped down as president of the Marilyn Monroe Society for Unoriginal Starlets, Lindsay Lohan happily seized the crown: "People in their mind have created who I am and act as if there is no real person inside of me. Just like Marilyn. Marilyn never wanted to be just a celebrity. Neither do I… Marilyn said she had no foundation. But she said she was really working on it. I've been trying to do the same thing." One violent revolution away from a totalitarian Marilyn Monroe Cheertatorship. [HuffPost]

Kimberly Stewart and Benicio del Toro named their daughter Delilah. Rod Stewart announced the name by "singing" it during an interview. "I've been going around blabbing that for hours now." [USA Today]

Christina Aguilera's son was photographed with a black eye, so MediaTakeOut concocted a story about "CHILD ABUSE???? CHRISTINA AGUILERA'S SON IS PHOTO'D WITH A BLACK EYE!!!" But actually Max tripped on a rock while chasing a squirrel, so Xtina is pretty fucking pissed about the child abuse rumor. Her lawyer is sending angry legal letters like whoa, and MTO already altered their headline. [MediaTakeOut, TMZ, TMZ]

Bouncing back from yesterday's break-up rumor bonanza, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett posed arm-in-arm and smiling for the paparazzi. Jada celebrated her first hetero sex rumor in years (Will "left the house crying" after finding Jada and HawthoRNe co-star Marc Anthony "together") by wearing flannel, baggy jeans, and combat boots. [X17, TMZ]

Lady Gaga and sister Natali Germanotta ("Baby Gaga") are launching a "relatively normal and wearable" clothing line, which will consists of "the styles of classic icons from the past… with a twist, like the white Marilyn dress made up in kinky rubber." Very wearable! Waterproof. [Grazia]

Sure, Kim Kardashian got married, but you know who else got married? Brooke Burke. No, it's OK, she didn't want attention anyway. It was a "secret mission," she "told no one," please, don't even look at her, these glamorous wedding photos she submitted to People magazine are so very embarrassing, she will never live this down. [People]

Charlize Theron says she is "open" to adoption. "I want a baby. If it would happen tomorrow I would still be very happy about it." And then Santa Angelina floated by on a cloud, and a miraculous rain of babies fell from the sky. [Hollybaby, Celebitchy]

Redmond O'Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal, pleaded no contest to felony gun and heroin possession charges yesterday, and was sentenced to one year of inpatient treatment and five years of probation. [People]