What Master Influencers Do Differently

When I was in the ninth grade, I picked up this book from my dad’s office library. The title read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. I was super excited!

I had always dreamt of being one of those master influencers and speakers whom thousands of people listened to and sought advice from. Therefore I was naturally attracted to the book and ended up finishing it in a few days!

I thought I had discovered a great secret which very few people knew about!

You see I was pretty dumb back then (Sometimes I still am!). I forgot to notice the part on the front cover where it said ‘More than 15 million copies sold!’. It was a good thing I didn’t notice it. If I had, then I’d have assumed that more than half the world knew about influence and there was no great secret to it!

So happily I set off putting the little tips mentioned in the book to use. I started to smile more, say thank you more and listen genuinely to people. The surprising part was it worked! I became more persuasive and assertive and before I knew it my confidence in my ability to influence peaked!

Later when I looked back, I realized though the book had sold so many copies, not even 10% of the people who had bought the book ever put it to use. They never bothered acting on all the golden advice given in the book! Had they tried even a little, it could have helped them become better influencers in life!

Most of the advice in the book is still pretty sound. But in today’s world, it takes more than just being nice and saying thank you to become a master influencer. These things might make you more likeable and get you more friends, but if you seek to influence people, you will have to learn from the best and start following them.

Whether you want to become a better Manager, Blogger or an Effective Leader in your field, you need to learn and master the art of influence. And who better to teach you influence than some of the most powerful influencers in the world!

What Master-Influencers Do Differently

After having studied the actions of many master influencers – old and new, I can say with a great degree of confidence that they all have some common characteristics which you and I can learn from. So what do they do differently which gives them the power to influence people around them?

Use The Power of Communication

The one thing which all influencers do with extreme efficiency is communication. If you wish to stand out from the pack and become a master at exerting influence, you need to understand the different forms of communication.

1. Verbal and Written Communication

The written and the spoken word. As an influencer you will have to choose words carefully when communicating to your target audience. Because once the words are written or spoken there is no way you can take them back.

Imagine an average manner of trying to communicate his vision to the team

“Team , we should achieve $xx million in the next 2 years and develop a product which will make us no 1 in the market!”

Motivating? Maybe. Powerful? Not nearly enough. Memorable? Hardly!

Now look at how Steve Jobs communicated his vision

“We are here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?”

Simple. Powerful. Profound.

Master Influencers understand this principle and put it to use. They choose their words carefully and ensure they carry maximum impact and benefit their audience. You too can follow their lead. Thinking for a few seconds before speaking/writing can produce wonderful results.

2. Non- Verbal and Para-Verbal Communication

Non-Verbal communication constitutes a very important part of communication. In fact only 7 – 8% of your communication is verbal. Almost a majority of it is made up of things like your body language, posture and poise.

Para-Verbal communication is a lesser known and relatively ignored form of communication which the masters employ to their use. Para- verbal refers to how you put across your message. Sometimes the same words if conveyed with the right tone, pitch and cadence can have a deadly effect. Master Influencers also learn to use silence to communicate their intent.

So next time when you wish to communicate, keep these elements in the back of your mind. With gradual practice you will definitely be able to become a better communicator and an influencer.

Listen with Empathy

All of us love to talk don’t we? But what about listening?

When was the last time you gave undivided attention to someone speaking to you?

Bill Clinton was the most charismatic person in any room not because he was a great speaker. It was because he was a listener who could make you feel as if you were the only person in the room! When he listened, he actually cared and made sure you understood that. This one quality alone made even his enemies admire him.

Listening is said to be a fast disappearing trait nowadays where all of us seem happy to be in our own worlds all the time. All it takes is to mute your internal noise and bring all your attention to the person in front of you. It’s not hard as you think! Next time when someone talks to you, try listening not just with your ears but your entire being and watch the magic unfold!

Are Not Afraid to Ask for Help

Many people make the mistake of assuming that in order to influence, you always need to be in a position of power or superiority in a situation. And because of this convoluted thought process, they stay smug and aloof when it comes to asking for help.

Master-Influencers do the exact opposite.

Influence happens in equal measure when you are not afraid to ask for help and do so fearlessly. Because it tells the people around you that you are not someone who is arrogant and cocky but a level-headed individual who wants to learn from the people around.

Moreover this keeps your ego in check and teaches you how to harness the talent and skills of people around you! This in effect will make you a better leader and an influencer.

Over to You

Whether consciously or not, we are all trying to be Master Influencers in our own little worlds. But the trick is to realize that influence is not rocket science. And as long as influence is not used as a selfish tool for power but rather as a means to benefit those around you, you will thrive.

So what are the other ways Master Influencers set themselves apart? Would love to know your thoughts…

Blogger. Writer. Occasional Public speaker. Currently in the business of Human Resource Management.
Often branded as Crazy and Eccentric, I have always sought to push traditional boundaries and live life to the fullest.
Areas which fascinate me include Philosophy, Human and Organizational Psychology, Literature, Food, Common Sense and Mindfulness.

16 Comments

shwetadave09 said:

Nice article, I have read the book and impressed at your synopsis of it. I like the pictures of relevance.

Hi Niks, another wonderful post. It’s great that you got the chance of reading that wonderful book in 9th grade only. I also wanted to read this book. I will definitely take out time to buy this deadly book for me. Lucky to have you in my beginning journey. Lot to learn from you, buddy.

Keep coming up with great stuff on Buddytation Thanks for your kind words!
Cheers!

February 11, 2015

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Donna Merrill (@donna_tribe) said:

Hi Nikshep,

I liked the way you put together this post, from Dale Carnegie’s book to the quote from Steve Jobs. If one wants to attain influence, one has to first have a good ear to listen. If we listen hard enough, we will find what our audience or target market wants. Then give them the information!

As far as asking others for help, I do. So much so, I will get on Facebook and ask the “gurus” But first I make a relationship with them. You will be surprised that most of the top peeps are not active in social media. When you visit them and comment and spread the news around the social media, it knocks them for a loop. They are so happy because they don’t usually get around the social sites.

Yup, I have seen that some of the gurus hardly are active on the social media! It give us bloggers a chance to connect them to other people and hence create a win win Thank you for your kind words! Have a great weekend ahead!

-Nik

February 13, 2015

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awazieikechi said:

Hi Nik

You certainly are a master influencer. You remind me of the epic book that I have read several times which has never lost its appeal for wisdom :”How to Win Friends and Influence People”.

I agree with everything you have said about master influencers. They have a way of causing people to make a difference in their lives. Thanks for sharing. Thanks Nik.

Thank You Ikechi for giving me that honor I am happy to always share any little value that I can my friend!

February 13, 2015

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Lea Bullen said:

Hi Nikshep,

I think communication is big is almost everything. In order to get things accomplished everything and everyone has to be insync and that is the essential way of accomplishing it.

I always try to listen intently when someone is speaking to me, which in turn as made me terribly aware when someone isn’t truly listening to me. Most of the time people listen with the intent to respond, especially in arguments, not trying to understand or empathize. This leads to huge problems and often a disconnect.

You’re absolutely right about empathetic listening I’m glad you could relate to the post! Thanks for taking time to write your views!

Cheers,
Nik

February 13, 2015

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Harleena Singh (@harleenas) said:

Hi Niks,

Powerful post indeed

Keeping it brief this time, love your habit of reading, right from the time you were young, which shows now in your awesome posts!

Yes, master influencers have the power to communicate effectively and they listen with empathy, which makes them different from others. They have the giving nature and would go all out, whether to help others, or seek help themselves.

Yup, asking a question makes you an idiot for a few minutes..not doing so makes you an idiot for a lifetime! 😀 glad you enjoyed it!

-Nik

March 4, 2015

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Carol Amato said:

Hello, Nik,

Your story is inspiring and takes me back to my youth when I was naive as well.

Your zeal and enthusiasm to actually take action is admirable, and you were way out of the norm for the average ’kid.’ It speaks well of your father that he even had that book to begin with. Awesome heritage there – Thinkers and Doers!

Listening to the language of my readers/subscribers is important as I learn to uncover and detect their pain points so that I can offer to help alleviate their pain in the struggle they are facing.

Learning to be a master influencer is a journey and there is a layering process to the whole thing. I find the more I grow as a person, the more my I influence, and the more my business grows.

Great book! I have it also listed on my blog post for 20 books to blow your mindset, but the cover has definitely been updated.

Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking article, and I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

“Learning to be a master influencer is a journey and there is a layering process..” – that’s a profound insight indeed Carol! I loved reading your comment! Thank you for stopping by and have a great week ahead!