The secrets of the universe are soon to be revealed! I am Baba Doodlius, and I know all! Well, truth be told I only know "most", but since nobody knows "all" I can just make up the stuff I don't know and nobody will be the wiser. That's the First Secret of Baba Doodlius! More to come.
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Monday, March 24, 2008

When we left off, I was jumping on the trail of the nefarious organization known as the "Hive Action League" (HAL), who has captured millions of North American honeybees and is holding them for a ransom of 10 billion Euros.

So where do detectives start when trying to solve a Mystery such as this? Naturally, we examine the evidence!

The only piece of evidence I had was the picture posted by HAL of a bunch of hostage honeybees

I scoured this photo looking for clues to the identity of the kidnappers! As I was close to blacking out from hours of intense scouring, I noticed something interesting in the picture:

Something about that little blur looks awfully familiar! Let me dust off the ol' photo enhancement skillz, similar to the ones I used to uncover the Truth about the Loch Ness Monster! I'll just zoom in a bit, bring that thing into focus, clean it up a little, and VOILA!

Buckirk! Say it ain't so! You can't be involved with HAL! You can't have kidnapped all those bees just for a ransom of a measly few billion euros!

Well, come to think of it, Buckirk was always a little jealous of all the money I have. Maybe he's just trying to keep up with the Doodliuses.

But that's not like Buckirk at all! He's such a gentle, good-hearted chicken that he would never stoop to such an underhanded undertaking as kidnapping bees for ransom! Something is bothering me about this Mystery, and I can't quite put my talons on it...

gorilla: well, Buckirk McGurk isn't the sharpest egg in the basket, but he's still an OK bird. Thanks for the reference to Foghorn Leghorn, though - I almost forgot about that guy!

catnapping: thanks for dropping by! Tune in next time - I think I may have finally cracked this bee case!

citizen: funny to you, but not so funny to those millions of hostage bees! Just think of it - they have to hang around in cramped quarters where it's all dark... well actually, that's pretty much what a bee's life is like in general. But now they have to wear those blindfolds. that's pretty bad, I suppose.

The Great and Powerful Baba Doodlius

Let me explain... no, there is too much. Let me sum up:

The Great and Powerful Baba Doodlius is a citizen of the Universe, and resides there full time. He enjoys eating, sleeping, chewing up blocks of wood, and pondering the deepest secrets of the Cosmos that have remained unexhumed and unexamined for countless millenia. All that and he's darned cute as well.