Pegging with a Strap On – What Women Think About Pegging

16.07.2017adminComments Off on Pegging with a Strap On – What Women Think About Pegging

Sure, you may have heard of pegging from a certain episode of Broad City, but what’s it really like to play the role of penetrator as a woman? Here, three anonymous women get real about pegging — a dynamic-flipping sex act in which a woman has anal sex with a man via a strap-on dildo.

Have you tried pegging with a serious partner or in a casual relationship (or both)?
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Woman A: Only with serious partners who were very into it already. I wouldn’t be averse to doing it casually; however, both of my partners (who were, once again, really into it) waited until we were very close to bring it up out of shyness or embarrassment.

Woman B: I’ve only done it once. It was with a serious partner — we’d been dating for six months.

Woman C: I’ve tried pegging with my husband. He’s definitely a serious partner. I’d also be open to trying it with casual relationships. We’re poly and sometimes we play with others.

What tools or toys did you use?

Woman A: I used a strap-on with both partners I’ve pegged with and enough lube to drown a horse. Both strap-ons were softer silicone models but one had a vibe that also pleasured the wearer.

Woman B: Just a really smooth, plain dildo.

Woman C: I used a Joque harness, which I love because the size range is really forgiving. It fits my large hips nicely. We used a slim silicone dildo and of course, lots of water-based lube. Our preference is Sliquid Sea but there are many that work.

And whose idea was it — yours or theirs? What made you want to try it?

Woman A: It was my partner’s idea the first time. He’d done it before, loved it, and once we got serious, he asked me to give it a try. The second partner had to be prompted a little on my part.

Woman B: His. We were also a bit drunk at the time and I had asked him what he wanted to do. He told me he wanted to “get a bit crazy” and then he suggested I penetrate him with a dildo.

Woman C: I don’t even know whose idea it was. We have both worn anal plugs during intercourse and he’s not squeamish about butt play. He doesn’t have the sexual hangups that some guys seem to have about it, which I appreciate. I think this particular night, I asked if he wanted to try it and he said yes, especially since we’d just bought the harness.

What did you do to prepare?

Woman A: I researched everything there was to know about anal. I was determined to go into the situation really prepared. Then I went out and bought, like, a gallon of lube and a strap-on that suited me. But seriously. Lube.

Woman B: Just lube. It was an extremely smooth, small dildo. It was the size of, like, maybe two tampons together, or maybe even only one. It wasn’t that big.

Woman C: Took our time! Regular foreplay, lots of stimulation, fingering to loosen things up. It was important that he was really turned on beforehand.

Were there any challenges once you got going?

Woman A: Height difference? Being a foot shorter than someone you are trying to screw is a little more awkward than when those measurements are reversed. Solution: Bend them over something.

Woman B: No, not at all. I don’t even know if we did it the right way or anything. It was super spur of the moment.

Woman C: Finding a good angle was difficult! It was hard to align our hips properly. We ended up trying a few different positions. Because the dildo isn’t my body, I couldn’t feel what I was doing without a hand down there; I couldn’t tell if I was actually penetrating or just bumping awkwardly around near his ass.

Who enjoyed it more — you or your partner?

Woman A: Hard to say, to be honest. I think it was probably more physically pleasurable for my partners, who were experienced at it and knew exactly what they needed to do to make it a great romp. At least the first time.

Woman B: I thought it was fun and interesting, but I think he liked it more. He was the one who requested it, and I was like, “Oh, OK, sure.” So we did it, and then post-sex — pegging, vaginal, everything — he turned to me and asked, “Was that weird, how much I liked that?”

Woman C: I don’t know. We don’t keep “score” when it comes to sex. In good sex, everybody wins! I had fun and he came. The goal wasn’t for me to orgasm from pegging him; that would have required some additional equipment or stimulation and this was about him. I got mine afterward … so we both had a good time!

What did you like most about pegging?

Woman A: Pegging is great because it puts you in a role you’re not really used to being in as a woman. There are aspects of dominance, power, intimacy, and strength that I don’t think we get to experience in quite the same wordless way when it comes to vanilla sex.

Woman B: It was nice to have control. And it was really interesting to see how much he liked it. It kind of took me aback, like, Wow, he really likes that. We never did it again though, interestingly.

Woman C: I’m always excited about trying something new. I liked giving him the opportunity to try something he’d been wanting to try, and it’s fun to play with sex toys, so that was an equal benefit.

What was it like playing the role of the penetrator?

Woman A: Pretty great. Having a guy underneath you, with the gasping and groaning, is spectacular. It’s a very energetic act too. You’re constantly moving. You also have a lot of control over what your partner is feeling and that’s fun.

Woman B: I liked it. It was very different. I had total control, and he was lying on his stomach, so he wasn’t making eye contact with me. I found it exhilarating in a different way than just regular sex, being in charge of someone else’s pleasure.

Woman C: Mostly there were technical issues to work out: how to get the right angle, how to move, how to control speed and depth. Psychologically, I try not to get wrapped up in the “penetrator as person with power” dynamic. I think it harms most relationships to do so. It erases female-female relationships and weirdly skews people’s view of male-male, with focus on who’s pitching and who’s catching. It also keeps men from being willing to try being penetrated because they associate it with weakness. Personally, being the one in the role of penetrator was new, and fun, and something I wouldn’t mind doing again.

Is pegging a regular part of your sex life now?

Woman A: No. I’m with a different partner now who isn’t into it.

Woman B: No. We had really good sex no matter what so this was just a one-off thing we did that was great too. But I think I would do it again. In hindsight, I would have prepared a bit more and known what to do, especially with clean-up and stuff.

Woman C: Alas, no. We’ve only done it the one time. Not because it wasn’t enjoyable, but just because there’s equipment and prep involved, and it’s not something he’s always in the mood for.

Do you have any advice for others who might want to try pegging? Or whose partners want to try it?

Woman A: I’ve already said this but lube, lube, lube, lube, lube. Butts do not self-lubricate at all. How much lube do you have? Does it look like enough? Yes? You still need more lube. Not using enough lube leads to unpleasant experiences at best and serious injury at worst. Spring for the strap-on with the vibe. Worth it. If your partner has never had anal sex/hasn’t done it for a while, go slow, it might hurt a little.

Woman B: I think first order of business is a little bit of nonpenetrative ass play.

Woman C: Go for it. Don’t get hung up in what it means for your gender or sexual identity. It’s an area loaded with nerve endings. It’s fun to stimulate. Read up, practice with fingers first, and be willing to give it a shot!