THE UPS & DOWNS & UPS AGAIN

What a week

Actually, what a month!

Actually, What a crazy couple of months!

WAIT A SEC…HOLD UP! I THOUGHT I COULD, BUT I CAN’T LIE TO YOU, DISCLAIMER TIME MY FELLOW NERDLINGS, I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS PIECE EARLY JUNE ON A PERSONAL (UNPUBLISHED) BLOG, BUT AS A WAY TO SAY HI AND MAYBE KINDA INTRODUCE MYSELF A LITTLE (IT’S BRIZEYCON BTW, C’MON KEEP UP WILL YA!) AND TO STOP L.A. NAGGING ME 24/7 ABOUT POSTING SOMETHING ALREADYYYY! I HAVE TAKEN THE EASY WAY OUT AND DECIDED TO POST THIS. DON’T GET YA KNICKERS IN A KNOT, IT’S ALL VERY RELEVANT AND ONLY NEEDED A FEW TEENY TINY EDITS.

WITH THAT LITTLE CONFESSION OUT THE WAY, LET US CONTINUE…

It’s always been tough working full time (60 hours Mon-Fri!) while working on FREE FALL COMICS, spending time with the 2 best kids in the freaking world, maintaining a healthy relationship with my way out of my league! girlfriend, and squeezing in a few hours of sleep every now and again. Usually, I love it! I really do, its how I’m wired, always had more energy than I knew what to do with but…BUUUT, this month has been fucking tough!

I think I need to provide a little context, a little background to my story. Up until very recently I have as mentioned, been working insane hours, it hasn’t just been the job but also the commute. That daily mother effin’ commute, 2 hours each way ( I know right, W..T..F) Here’s the thing, the money wasn’t too bad for what I did. When I started working for…lets call them the soulless and corrupt organisation, I lived a little bit closer than I am now,it was still a good hour or so too and from but it was manageable. So, Why did I move further away then you ask? Well dear friend I did it for love…and sweet coastal views, but mostly for love.

Ya see, I met a girl…

Yep, it happened, I didn’t think it would, hell, I didn’t think it could…not again anyway. But here I am, Living on the coast with a gorgeous girl living a real life but probably drunker Brady Bunch story (She has 2 kids also). And that’s how I started travelling 2 hours too and from the soulless and corrupt organisation daily but you know what, it was worth it, she was worth it. I knew I wouldn’t be there for ever but jobs on the coast are kinda limited, if you do find something you like it probably means you have to work weekends. That is a deal breaker for me, my weekends are non negotiable because…KIDS! yep, I have my 2 mini me’s every Friday to Sunday and I am not changing that for anyone or anything .

Part 2 of the story…FREE FALL COMICS, my other true love. In the beginning it involved a lot more writing and drinking, 2 of my favourite things yay! However, as time went on and I really started to take this seriously it meant doing less of the fun shit and more of the not so fun shit. The not so fun shit…its just s a small phase really, you see, to take FFC to the next level means putting my nose to the grindstone and getting shit done, business and legal shit and website shit, tax shit…so much shit! But anytime I start to think I’m over this shit! I pick up a script and start to read, then…it happens, it always happens, this rush of adrenaline hits me! The words on the page aren’t just words on a page to me, LA and I have written and re-written these pages so many times I see every scene clear as day. I see the images, I see our characters, I see the potential in what we are doing and suddenly the shit things aren’t so shit anymore.

In case you’re wondering, I said shit 11 times in that last paragraph

Kids, awww bless them, bless their needy give me attention every waking of the we don’t care if you’re hung over dad day…Kidding! I love being a dad, I think it’s the first time I ever felt like I was really good at something. If I’m honest, for the most part, I find it easy, I’m not being cocky, what I mean is its so easy to love them, I love being around them, its amazing knowing that you’re helping shape 2 tiny minds, its a big responsibility, you’ll forever put your own wants and needs second but sweet baby yeezus is it worth it. Those 2, Indie and Hudson saved my life, without them I’d…I’m not sure who I’d be today.

A…I want to say month but its probably a bit longer than that…fuck it. A month ago on my way home, stuck on my train surrounded by the faces I had come to recognise, Mr watches friends UK Office on his laptop, Miss My big arse needs one seat and my handbag needs the other, Mr Lonely old fella who will literally talk about anything (I’ll miss you lonely old fella, bat shit crazy but a lot of bloody fun) and lets not forget Mr Doritos fingers, twice, sometimes 3 times a week I’d watch you destroy a bag of cheesy supreme and wash it back with a 1 litre Pepsi, not a care in the world as you leaned over on one butt cheek to let out a loud Doritos smelling fart.

It was on this fateful day that I thought what hell, its time for a change, the hours were starting to wear me down, creativity was at a low, it was affecting all aspects of my life but honestly, it just wasn’t the right job for me, I wasn’t happy anymore rather then do the same thing and hope for a different outcome so I got out my phone, waited 40 minutes to get to that part of the trip where I can reception for 5 minutes before entering another 30 minute dead zone, jumped on good old Seek.com and thought to myself, today is the day. I was feeling luck so I searched for jobs in my local area, hospitality, barista, insurance sales, no fucking thank you! 1, I hate serving people (also weekends!) 2 I am shit when it comes to making a coffee, 3…well c’mon, insurance…sales!? I was looking to get away from soulless and corrupt a-holes.

Nearing the end of my 5 minute internet connection I had all but given up, I wouldn’t get another bar until well past the Glass House Mountains and the jobs on offer so far weren’t looking great, when suddenly, there it was, it wasn’t the job that caught my eye, it was the advertisement, it was different, the more I read I realised they wanted someone a little different, they wanted me! I knew it, I started writing my cover letter in my head the whole way home. That weekend after doing a little research on the company I had made my mind up, I would apply. With one kid on my lap I started writing and its crazy but, I had fun writing it, after a month of writers and all creativity block I was inspired again.

I wont drag this out any longer, I went for an interview, met the owner, awesome bloke, we hit it off, the conversation was never forced and I walked away feeling pretty friggin good about it. Fast forward 2 weeks and I received a call offering me the job. Many celebratory drinks were had.

The part I left out of the story because I didn’t want to be a buzzkill was that a few days prior to this call the soulless and corrupt bastards I worked for went into voluntary administration, I walked away without pay for my last 2 weeks, no redundancy package yet, its still ongoing (I ain’t holding my breath) but whats weird is, I was happy, broke as I am as I type this, I am still happy. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders, the anxiety that I have struggled with for years had been creeping back in recent months, that tight chested, panicky feeling was again becoming all too familiar, I was going back to old habits, shutting out those around me. Yet…here I am, no money, Free Fall Comics has suffered a little for it as in, I haven’t been able to pay for a few pages and we might be a little behind until I’m back on feet financially but I’m happy.

I am better off than a lot of people, others, they didn’t deal with it as well as I did. I have a job to go to, I start next week. I had a little bit of savings to tie me over, I have an amazing and supportive family, I have an incredible girlfriend who was actually happy about it (not the money part, that sucks all the balls) she loved having me home more and knew the job was starting to gt me down, knew I was close to burning out. LA, that lovable son of a bitch offered me money to help me get by for few weeks too! (FYI – I said no, its better spent of FFC)

I am a lucky guy. Friends, family, the ones you are born into and the ones you choose, I am a lucky guy. Need to also make a special mention about the amazing artist we work with, they have been super supportive and patient. I know what these guys and girls are going through as struggling artists because I am one (albeit much less talented than they are) and they continue to work on pages for us. (Hot tip, write a script so good and they’ll want to work on it, its not just a paycheck (although it is that too) they are really passionate about the projects)

If you paid attention above you’ll see I just went all parentheses-ception on your ass!

So thats been my month of ups and downs. I skipped over some of drama , the tantrums, the laying on the shower floor sobbing like a pale and shrivelled mole rat because, that was all temporary. I have too much to look forward to, too many adventures ahead of me that deserve all my energy.

Its nearing 2am here now, Its time for me to have a sneaky Gin and sign off. But before I do I hope you enjoyed my little “blog” As you guessed 13 paragraphs ago its not always going to be strictly comic related, we want to share our stories about with you, we want you all to get to know us, to be our mates, buy us drinks and, send us food rations occasionally, that sorta shit. In return we will continue to work our asses off and bring some incredible stories to life for you.

Author: Brizeycon

Brizeycon once carried a dead pigeon around for 3 days...He called him Charlie. That story is unfortunately true & Unembellished... He resides on the Sunshine Coast of Australia with his two children, two dogs and a girlfriend who's definitely out of his league. Rumour has it he also writes stuff from time to time.