Celebrating Victories

I have two modes: procrastinate all the things or do all the things. Which means it took months to decide to go to therapy, weeks to make the first appointment, but, now that I’m going, I want to finish working through all the issues as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for me, therapy doesn’t work that way.

When I mentioned to my therapist that I was struggling with the slow progress, because I want to “fix all the issues,” she reiterated the need to build skills and take my time, to make sure I’m really healing and really building new skills. To help put things in perspective, she suggested I journal on some of the victories and small wins I’ve had so far.

As I thought through this suggestion over the next few days, I realized it was something I wanted to do on a recurring basis, and something I want to share here. So, this is the first in what I’m hoping will be a regular recurring series of posts, wherein I celebrate my wins.

Staying on my meds. I dislike taking meds on a regular basis, but I voluntarily went back on them, and they have been helping.

Going to therapy on a regular basis. It took a long time to decide to go, and a long time to get up the nerve to make an appointment this past January. 4 months later, I’m still going.

This blog. Journaling is such a helpful thing for me, and I truly enjoy writing, but without an end goal or deadline, it’s hard for me to dedicate time for it.

Walking, more days than not. I don’t hit my goal of 10k steps most days, and that’s OK, but I am building a habit of walking.

I found some great band-aids to help keep from picking scabs as much. These waterproof Nexcare bandages stay in place wonderfully, and the edge is very thin, so it blends well with the skin, which I love, because it means the edges don’t peel up or catch on anything.

My new favorite band-aids

On a related note, finding different fidgets to keep my hands busy. Whether I need to find something to keep focused and calm during a session, or I need something to keep from picking when I’m feeling awkward or stressed, these have become a wonderful tool to keep around. I’m including here my “calm down” bottle, which I made last year, and which has been a great tool when I need to re-focus and breathe.

Clockwise from top left: Calm down bottle, fidget dodecahedron and edamame keychain (dodecahedron has a lot of things to keep my hands busy, and the edamame was recommended on a list of fidget toys to prevent picking), Large squishies, small “mochi” (silicone) cat squishy.

Finally, on a more serious note, I’m able to externalize my depression. I can recognize what thoughts are mine, and which are being fed to me by the depression. I think of my depression as a separate character in my story, rather than the entirety of who I am.

That’s about it for my list this time. I’m hoping to do one of these celebrating victories and small wins every month-ish, so keep your eyes open.