One anonymous user on Quora recently talked about the experience both he and his wife have had since the Ashley Madison hack. In particular, the two of them have become concerned with just how judgmental many have been about people on the website getting what they deserve and having their affairs (or attempted affairs) exposed to the world.

“Since the leak, it’s been pretty frustrating,” he writes. “There’s a lot of painting with the same brush that’s been going on here — you read a lot about how these cheaters deserved it. OK, maybe they did — the details of why people cheat are often somewhat mitigating, but sure, let’s say they deserved it. But we’ve both really resented the conversation — this was a totally consensual part of our relationship, and many of the people we spoke to on the site were (or claimed to be) in the same boat.”

There are plenty of reasons someone might seek to have an affair and sometimes they’re part of a completely consensual open marriage. And even if they aren’t, you do have to feel sorry for people who aren’t public figures and whose private lives have now been exposed for all the world to see.

Check out the rest of this Ashley Madison users’ experiences after the hack by clicking here.