I need shorts for the months to come…

So last February when I was in MI visiting my cute aunt XS and my uncle BS and their children CS, AS, JS, CS2 and WS (GS wasn’t home from his mish in Cali yet) and my frankenstein uncle IR and his kids CR, IR and LR (who then lived in OH) TR (Who is now something else because she’s married but I don’t know her last name) still lives there and she wasn’t really the point of the trip anyway. It was IR and CS because IR has brain cancer and CS was leaving for his mish in Italy 3 months later. Awesome. Anyway while I was there I splurged and bought myself some shorts from old navy. The listing was for 5″ length which, if you think about it is actually fairly long. I checked with my cute aunt XS and my cute madre JR and they both thought that those were long enough… So when I got home from MI my shorts (and some flip flops I also bought myself) were waiting for me. I tried them on. They were shorter than any shorts I’d ever worn before but they definitely could have been worse. So when the weather got warmer (around May) I thought, “What the heck! I’ll wear these to school considering I have no other shorts and it’s WARM-ish outside!!!” I was being very adventurous. Anyway, I wore them to school. I walked into my first class, English with Mrs. JS (That’s not the JS up there… the other one is a boy.) Anyway, I got *pulled out* of class by my counselor Mrs. AT who then proceeded to tell me that on a normal girl those shorts would be okay but on me, because I have AMAZON legs, they were too short. …the heck??? I feel discriminated against. STILL. A year later. Never mind that the shorts went a full 3″ past my fingertips (pretty sure that the rule is they have to go past your fingertips) NO. I was advised to get some new attire for the lower half of my body. Then I had to call my cute madre and she came all the way up to Orem and brought me a pair of Jeans. Then my friend AD and I went to Wendy’s and got fries and frosties to make it better.

Woah, I think I just witnessed a breakup y’all… sad day! That was random. Back to shorts.

I would post pair four if the blasted American Eagle site would just LOAD already… I know how it is, people are trying to buy my shoes and they’re loading up the server so I can’t get on and it’ll be too late. Well, I HATE YOU TOO RANDOM SHOE HATERS. I should never have posted that on the internet… :P

So because there are people in the universe hating on me, we’re going to post some cards from the Bloggess (I only chose the ones that were appropriate…) that she made for people like me who are having problems with the haters. And also there are only 2 people who read my blog. I think. I haven’t checked the stats.

Isn’t that awesome? I feel better now.

Now here’s a picture of my shoes again:

That’s beauty for ya. Also I’m trying to decide what articles of clothing would be a solid purchase from AE because there’s free shipping on orders $100 and over and also I have a 15% off card. Because I’m cool like that.

I still can’t open the page for pair 4 so I think I’ll just have to wait until the server traffic lets up. If they don’t have my shoes someone will be stabbed. Probably with a spork but it will still hurt. Then they’ll probably have shards of plastic stuck in their leg too and that is NO FUN AT ALL! Take it like a man… or a woman. Whatever you are. Also, I quit loading the shorts page and tried to go to the shoe page. It’s been 10 minutes and it hasn’t loaded… At. All. The world is really asking to be stabbed. Also, that’s the only page I have loading. If I redirect to any other site it works fine. They’re trying to steal my shoes.

Also, Muffins are bald cupcakes and mini muffins make you feel like an astronaut and I can always consume WAY more of something when it’s mini. That’s a scientific fact. At least 73.8% of the time. It started snowing outside and I’m sure that makes me really want to stab someone because can’t it just be warm already people? I’d enjoy my mini bald cupcakes (that is if I had some) MUCH BETTER if it were at least 30°-40° warmer outside. At the moment it’s 30° F and that’s just unacceptable. My hands will never look alive in this weather. Plus it’s still like, dark and grey outside (which does happen to be my obsession color at the moment but this is like a yellowish light ugly grey and not the dark awesome grey that I love.) which makes me feel really groggy and makes me want to take a nap with my heated blanket (that’s the most beautiful invention ever, besides heating…) and read a book. It really makes me hate school and the fact that I have to go the the Hell building at BYU today and guess what color I wore… Red. Am I an idiot? Basically, yeah. Actually it’s more of a lighter maroon color with pinkish hues but no one will really pay attention to that. They’ll just go, oh, that girl is wearing red. Kill her. Except I already clicked the I will be attending BYU button last night and registered for classes so I’m pretty sure I’m safe. Maybe I need to wear a sign. Like this one:

Do you think that’ll help my cause? Also, that page still hasn’t loaded. Now I need to call the “Freshman Mentoring” department at BYU because there is no way in heck that I am taking American Heritage because I already took Poli Sci at 14, hosers, and I am not retaking intro to college writing because I took that at 16. I’m not stupid. I’ll take BoM again but I don’t really want to pay a lot of moneyTHOUSANDS OF DOLLARS to retake classes that I took as an extremely awesome early teenager because I AM NOT A FRESHMAN!!! So I need to call them… Maybe I’ll do that in Senior Prison. That’s part of my education, right?

MY PAGE LOADED! Those suckers are going in my cart…! Now I have the holy grail and two pairs of shorts in my cart… Anyone want to donate some money to my cause?? Just kidding. So, have any of y’all come up with a new name for me yet? Didn’t think so. This is awkward. Maybe I should start stabbing now.

Responses

Great points…I would note that as someone who really doesn’t write on blogs much (in fact, this may be my first post), I don’t think the term “lurker” is very becoming to a non-posting reader. It’s not your fault at all, but perhaps the blogosphere could come up with a better, non-creepy name for the 90% of us that enjoy just reading the posts.