05 February 2009

To Infinity and Beyond

Current Mood: a touch of wanderlust

Baby close your eyes, don't open til the morning lightBaby don't forget, we haven't lost it all yetDon't know what you're made of til the one thing that you wantIs coming with the dawn and suddenly changes~ “Syndicate” by the Fray

‘Hot Cocoa Dealer’ asked me today where else I plan on visiting this year. Since 2009 began, I have been to Fort Worth, New York City, and Orlando. Plus, a few short layovers in Chicago, Atlanta, and Memphis. If we change the timeline to the past 6 months, I have also spent time in New Orleans, Emporia, Las Vegas, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Kansas City, Cedar Rapids, and San Diego. And before 2010, I know that I will definitely be visiting Fort Worth, Las Vegas, and Chicago. I also have good intentions to visit Indianapolis, New Orleans, San Francisco, Phoenix, and Cleveland.

Luckily for me, most of those places will not require a hotel stay.

Today I tested my magical powers. “What magical powers are those, Girl Genius?” you are all wondering. Many of you have witnessed these powers front row – but were so astounded that you have blocked them from memory. It’s alright. I understand! I, too, am astounded at the effect I have. It works like this:

Girl Genius is to B-Slow what Kryptonite is to Superman!

It’s true, folks! I am able to weaken another human to the point that the mere mention of my name causes him to retreat in fear. LOL In person, he does what he can to ignore my existence. Literally, he will pretend I am not there, talking to him or trying to reach something on the counter behind him. I am not exaggerating.

I sent him a text at Christmas, willing him to ignore me. (Because it amuses me to do so) Not only did he NOT respond; but he actually initiated random texts to my friends and a family member, wishing them Merry Christmas! Really? Really? Yep! By willing him NOT to acknowledge me, B-Slow was forced (by my powers) to deliberately snub me through the acknowledgement of those I know. Hee hee

Today, though, we put the kryptonite theory to the test. He began conversing via IM with a close friend of mine. He hasn’t spoken to this person in months. She was as surprised as I was by his attention. Giggling, I told her, “Tell him I say hello. He’ll stop messaging you immediately.” I am not sure whether or not she believed that I exercised such power . . . but she told him. Immediately, the messages stopped. They were in mid-conversation and by the mere mention of my name – he melted into a pool of useless goo; unable to communicate or scream for help. Poor B-Slow!

Anyway, the loss of his friendship used to bother me deeply. I missed him; but more importantly, I wondered what made him do a 180 degree turn from close friend to arch-nemesis. I wish I still cared. I wish I felt something besides amusement at the whole ordeal. Unfortunately, my ability to compartmentalize has already filed him in the same miscellaneous drawer as the “Kick boxer” and that douche-bag who cut me off in traffic the other day. Every once in a while, I pull them out, dust them off, and have a good laugh!

Peace-out!

PERSONAL NOTE: I am eating an orange. It is not as good as the clementines in your fridge!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: You are the defender of the universe! Wear that badge with pride!