A 12-year-old boy named Fuck

The little boy I’m doing homework with is Fah. He’s learning the Thai alphabet by writing the letters 50 or so times each in his notebook, so I decided to do a couple to help out.

His brother’s name is Fuck. His full name is something in Thai that I couldn’t begin to pronounce or remember, but his English nickname is Fuck.

Every child in Chaiyaphum is given a nickname in English, which is very convenient when they go to school and learn English from a foreign teacher like me. The trouble is, many of the parents who give out these nicknames don’t seem to understand what the names actually mean.

So all over Thailand there are people walking around with names like Porn (our security guard at Satrichaiyaphum High), Beer (a fairly popular name at school), Bum (also fairly popular), and Fuck (Fah’s brother is not the only Fuck I’ve met). Other teachers tell me they have students with even more explicit nicknames, including Tittyporn and Pregoporn.

It’s good for a chuckle from time to time, but I often find myself intentionally mispronouncing people’s names to avoid addressing 12-year-olds who may or may not know what their names mean, by their unfortunate monikers.