Although I'm not good enough a writer to actually be at stake as an author, I feel that I have to express what I feel are points about life, and which I can't (at least not easily enough)write with good quality. I apologize for that :-( ... and hope people can enjoy these stories anyway.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Notion of Having a Real Good Family

Enthusiastically, cunningly and without
remorse, she threw her fiancé's gift to her in the water. She
felt he had betrayed her, and that she couldn't forgive him without
there being an enthusiasm about having another man seem to be much
more suitable for her. Upon humiliating with that, she could probably
feel that the old relationship was not totally regrettable.

“I wonder,” she asked herself, “why
I suppose I am the woman to be had at the same time as hating that
man for feeling that about himself! But somehow,” she continued
pondering, it wasn't true that he could possibly have been anything
but a fake with her! This was so since she didn't seem to fit in, in
situations where he seemed at home and at ease with faking that his
assets where of much better quality than hers had been!

As she kept thinking about it, she said
to herself that “I have no lust for the type of fellow who will
cheat on me, even though I feel very much like cheating myself!”
Even so, somehow, she threw herself enthusiastically into the kind of
contexts where it wasn't allowed to be a cheater, just because she
wanted to seem to be much better than him at not cheating, and thus
win the confidence from the next guy to cheat with!

“I feel that I myself have an
imbecile in me, for being the moron who enthusiastically pretends to
be a none-cheater, while all my friends are cheaters, and keep on
humiliating me as though I were the moron who should be treated as
though there were no competences in me to see to my own good as were
it an asset for others as well as the closest among my friends and
other acquaintances!”

Thereby, she stood now, at the
embankment's deep-water stretch, having thrown her engagement ring
into the water. “I will now, from here on, never again feel tha the
would be the guy to marry! I will never again feel that he would be
my husband had he tried for eternity to become it! I will thereby
erase his memory for all but the sore attitude I'll have about him
forever, from now on!”

As she stood there, she sensed someone
walking up beside her. She turned around and saw her brother. She
looked him in the eyes and said: “You shouldn't have come here! No
matter why you followed me here, you must tell me why you think what
I'm doing is any of your business!”

“I followed you here because I wanted
to make certain that you felt like saying something aobut what the
engagement seemed to lead up to!”

“I felt that it led up to nothing but
the type of nonsense about marriage that there is to a guy with no
predicaments of feeling that we should be a couple forever after!”

“Then how come you stand still and
seem to be pondering on what went wrong between you?!”

“I'm not pondering on what went
wrong! I'm pondering on why I've become this half-ass bitch who
doesn't care to be responded to by anyone but those who are against
me in the sense that they don't care for morals and standards that I
had when I grew up!”

“Then I don't care to find you to be
anything but a nuisance for the friend of mine you were engaged to!”

“Then stop telling me that I should
be the one to listen to you! Because I don't have anything here but
the man I will regret that I ever came close, even, to marrying!”

“But why do you pretend he is the
guilty one! He is nothing but the same sort that you are! You and he
both cheat on each other! Both of you hate each other for it! And
thereby you and he shall be forever bound by taht your engagement was
of mutual contentment about the other partner suffering from that!”

She turned towards him. “What do you
mean by that I shall be seen as nearly, even, the same as that man!
It's he, and it isn't I, who ruined the marriage plans by cheating so
that I could feel so bad about him!”

“He felt just about the same about
you, sis, and thereby I proclaim the two of you to be just about as
alike as all that! Moreover I shall soon enough be into serious
business with him as a partner! I will not let you feel that I have a
bad partner for all of that! It's you who are the mediocre spouse who
tells herself not to be into seeming, even, to be loyal, and now that
I have him as a partner, I will harass you about it, until you seem
loyal to him - and thereby me as well!”

“I will not permit that you and he
enter that partnership! I will not allow the wtwo of you to pretend
I haven't fatally had it in him to cheat so bad that he doesn't seem
fit for even being a business partner!”

“Then what about you and that
business partner you had in Mark, who was my partner in bed for about
two weeks?! I mean he was also a cheater who didn't seem to realize
it wasn't too good to have fairly many others, while pretending to be
with only me!”

“I don't agree with that that is at
all alike! It isn't me who was into a le3sbian relationship in the
first place! It is into gay and lesbian to be into a multitude of
partners and you know that! Besides, I'm not bedding my new one until
we have an engagement ring each, and so that's final about those
dirty hook-ups of yours!”

“My liaisons and so forth are not to
be seen as that dirty! We feel connected to one another in ways that
cultivates essentials of togetherness! We don't just run around and
feel for each other that tehre is some dirty story to be had here and
now!”

“Then why do you feel that my
ex-fiancé is anything but a dirty bastard?! And then why do
you seem to be into relationships with them as though they were
buddies and not the kinds of partners one should really take
seriously?!”

“It's because I and my partners
usually feel that it's outside a relationship that it should be, that
stuff about trying to be faithful and to simple-mindedly pretend that
everyone is evil who tries to stop whatever phoney obligations and
stuff one is into when one deals with the so-called marriage or, like
you, that very phoney status of being into that marriage should be!”

“Then how come you don't chose few
partners for the sake of committing yourselves to each other?! There
must be enough partners out there for you to commit yourselves to,
even without there also being commitments on the side!”

“No! Whatever partner I chose must be
committed to me, well enough for me to feel that I can be certain
about her or him without that meaning that we should be into that
relations on the side are too bad to have!”

“Then why do you feel that I have not
thrown my engagement ring over the dock for the sake of pretending as
if something about the way the see it when we are into a relationship
of so-called status of being faithful and stuff?! How come you keep
on nagging me as though there wasn't any commitment to be real about
things, so that neither would be unfaithful and neither would be
disloyal - in any other sense, either!”

“I say to you that there's no
commitment on his side that isn't into the weird notions of
pretension that he was forced to be into for the sake of keeping you
satisfied. But that's just because of your faking attitudes that he
had to have that pretension!”

“Then I will from now one never again
speak to you as my brother! It is not a family that it should be to
speak to one's sister as though she didn't have any commitment on his
side!”

“I will from here on, then, see you
as my idiot sister who doesn't pertain to morals, nor standards about
living that are real about relationships being loosely held and
thereby smart at willingness to admit one's problems with each
other!”

“I feel as though you have
embarrassed this family that I grew up with so much that we don't
have anything left to say to each other! From here on you shall not
be my brother and I shall not again speak to you as though you were!”

With that she left him where he stood,
and went home to their parents and began to cry to their mother about
him. She asked her to forgive him just the same, but she couldn't.
Thereby she asked him to move our, as soon as he came back. But he
didn't. Instead, she moved to another town and told everyone there
that her brother was a man to ruin every family relationship that he
got to have anything to do with.

“Forever after I shall be with me and
my own family of friends! I have no family that are of that
biological context that my mother has it is so trustworthy!” she
though for herself, two years later, and committed suicide.