orgasm

When I was about 15 I decided I liked my wet dreams so much that I wanted to have one while awake. I started stroking my penis. After a while I ejaculated. What a disappointment. Results were a few squirts of semen and not much more. After I few days I tried it again -- with terrific results. It was super! Great! Wonderful! Indescribable! I was hooked! I started taking lots of long showers. I became the cleanest kid I town!

Okay, I'm not good at writing but this is a favorite subject, so here goes. I had my first few orgasms when I was in the 6th grade, while I was asleep. I had no idea what it was all about. It was a mess to clean up, it kinda felt good while I was dreaming, but the sticky mess made it a pain. One morning I woke up and had a major erection and was lying on my stomach. I found out it felt real good to rub it by thrusting into the bed. But then I felt like I was going to lose it -- I was afraid I'd pee in the bed and my mom would find out, so I stopped.

I don't remember the first time I masturbated. The first time I remember I was very young, probably between the 2nd and 3rd grade. My brother and sister and I had been playing, but I said I was going to take a nap and asked them to be quiet because, "the kind of dreams I want to dream I need quiet for." I lay under the covers, pulled down my pants, and began rubbing my penis ("peepee" as it was called) on the mattress. I fantasized about masturbation ("it" as I called it) being contagious, and that if anyone slept in my bed after I had done it then they would do it, too.

The intensity of trauma that surrounded my finding orgasm began at age 11. If I emphasize how that experience damaged my relationship with my mother, I hope that doesn't make me a "mama's boy." She had given me "Growing Up" at age 10, so she knew I would begin to ask questions. I'd had sexual feelings in the 3rd grade but didn't know what they were. Shimmying up swing poles at recess made me a queer duck who would race to the swings and not take one.

I am in my early 50s, maturing in the mid and late 1950s (before the "sexual revolution"). I have been married for 30-plus years. I began masturbating at the age of 8 or 9 (about 4th grade). I did not discover this amazing pastime by myself; rather, I was introduced to it by 2 friends, both older (10 and 11). This started before I had begun to physically mature, so my penis was only about 2 inches long when erect. I used 2 hands, sliding up and down the shaft. Rapid pumping up and down would get me to orgasm. Orgasms were dry but they felt good, so I continued to masturbate.

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Do you masturbate to make yourself feel good, or to try and imitate sex?