Tuesday, 31 December 2013

In 2013 I experienced the most wonderful in my life, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. After 9 wonderful months of maternity leave, on December 2nd I returned to work. This blog is about juggling daily life with mummy hood and how it all fits in together. I also am fully aware that I am lucky to work four days and also lucky for the time I get with my daughter.I'm a teacher at a secondary school, and although I have gone back part time (four days per week) my job isn't really one that allows me to chill out or relax during the day. Yes, I am aware of all the holidays that I get, but that doesn't really help when I've been up all night with a poorly baby and then got to deal with 28 hormonal teenagers. They don't make allowances for teething, chicken pox or tummy ache. They see one ounce of weakness and they'll pounce. Finding a Child MinderThis has to be one of the most difficult things that you have to do. Child minder verses nursery. I decided that a childminder was for me. I felt that my beautiful baby would get more attention with a childminder as oppose to being in a big nursery and that she would be happier. Now the job of finding one that fits with me and more importantly, my daughter would like. After some searching I found someone that would, in my opinion, be right. After initial visits and chats, it became clear that Charlotte had taken to her quite quickly and this was something that I couldn't have out a price on. The difficult bit was the settling in sessions. I now had to drop her off at a set time and then pick her up later. I was having to leave her. I know millions of mums do this every day, but there is something distinctly upsetting about leaving your little one for the first time. Dropping her off and then saying goodbye felt like it was forever. I kissed her then quickly ran out of the door disguising my tears whilst running to the car before I changed my mind. Charlotte was fine of course, the new toys and other baby made it an adventure for her and an hour later she had been absolutely brilliant. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. After a few weeks of this, my time had come when leaving her meant that I really did have to go to work. I couldn't nip back if I needed to. Then there was the issue of getting organised. A 5.50am start wasn't ideal, but needed if I was to make it to work on time. I did it though, up and out the house with her bag packed and myself ready to become a professional again. At 7am she was dropped off and I have never felt my heart wrenched as much as they did that day. I cried the whole 50 minute journey and just managed to compose myself in time to start my teaching day. I was out the door at record time that day and spent the whole journey home looking forward to being with my baby girl. She was sooo happy to see me that i just hugged her and felt how much she snuggled into me. Yes, I could have that every day if I didn't work, but then we wouldn't have a house, or outings and the days with her would be spent counting the pennies to make sure I had enough to feed her. I hate leaving her but at the same time know that what I do is to support my family. If people don't understand that then that's there prerogative. My priority though is one that means I can afford as much as I can for my daughter. xx