Mars Probe Urges Brown To Quit

NASA's latest Martian probe last night landed safely on the red planet and issued an immediate call for Gordon Brown to resign.

Brown dismissed Mars as a 'planet for toffs'

The Phoenix Lander touched down shortly before midnight GMT, unfurled its solar panels and urged the prime minister to act in the best interests of the Labour Party and the country.

Tom Logan, of the Nasa Jet Propulsion Laboratory, said: "The soil sample data is telling us that while the case for Martian life is inconclusive, Labour is definitely up shit creek as long is Brown is in charge."

Logan said the probe was asked to send additional evidence and a few seconds later the screens in mission control were filled with a grainy image of former Tory prime minister John Major.

The lander last night insisted it was not a 'stalking horse' and had no ambitions to move into Number 10.

Meanwhile foreign sceretary David Milliband dismissed the resignation call, saying: "It's no secret the Phoenix Lander has never been Gordon's biggest fan.

"But all of us, including the lander, should be getting on with the job and now is not the time for space probes to be calling for a change in leadership."