Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What do you do when everything you offer seems insufficient; when you have made your point and you are STILL mis-understood; when you have decided to make improvements in your life and nothing seems shifts for the better; when none of your burdens are light and you just need some help? What do you do?? Try this and see if it helps:

Be still, get quiet. Relax your shoulders and breathe. Slowly. Cry if you need to. Know that there are solutions to every problem.

And it may be worth asking yourself: Does the blockage start with me? Am I in my own way? Do I need to be more patient, less controlling? Have I overstayed my welcome? Am I as forthright as I think I am? Is my communication clear? Where have I been too quiet? Am I acting or re-acting out of pain or hurt? Would my life be easier if I just ask for support? Shall I just move on?

When I express myself, am I honest and at peace?

When I get stuck and coiled, when I start having these overwhelming urges to cry (and nothing comes out), when I start losing things, and when the clutter piles up on my desk, then I know that it's time for me to be still, get quiet; relax my shoulders and breathe. I close my eyes, humble my head, and I visualize a bright light.

I pray for grace for all my known and unknown flaws. I conjure up a list of all the things I don't want to do, but must. I bring to the forefront all the people and feelings that I don't want to engage, but should. I wrap all them up with courage and promise to not run away. I visualize healthy closure, knowing healthy sometimes tastes bitter. I focus still on the shoulders, where many of us carry our heavy burdens. Deep breathes really do help.

And then I say: "If I am still here, then its for a good reason. I will trust the good in that reason, even if I don't understand it at this moment. Right now, there are things that I can not see and things that I don't yet know that are working in my ultimate favor. When I need to be open and uncoiled, I will be that. When I need to shut down and shut out, I will honor that too. In all, I will respect the power in my life, seek balance, and make progress...every day that I am here."

"Be a Father Your Child: Real Talk from Black Men on Family, Love, and Fatherhood" (On Amazon.com)

"Groundbreaking!" - AOL Black Voices

April R. Silver: Social entrepreneur, activist, and writer/editor. Child of God, daughter of Eddie and Jenny B., big sister to Omar and Lexus; lover of pecans and raisins, and all things Michael Jackson, The Jacksons, and The Jackson 5.