I have read all views on this so far and see every ones point. I have really appreciated all opinions. my mum reckons to see what my sister thinks and she might actually be ok with it but my mum and sister usually think the opposite of each other.

MIL is not normally sentimental at all. She would tell DP all the time that if he didn't want to go to such and such's wedding/funeral/birthday/Christmas lunch dinner or breakfast he doesn't have to and funerals.. Well no one should go to funerals because people can be so over dramatic with all their wailing and carry on. But DP has learnt that sometimes even if you don't want to you should go to certain events out of respect.

She can be very inconsistent at times and I am finding it difficult trying to work out why it is so important to her to go to this wedding. it's not something she is normally interested in but she is being very persistent.

Would you invite yourself to your dil's sisters wedding uninvited?

My 3 eldest kids were flower girls/page boy at SIL's wedding earlier this year and if my mum had insisted on going to the ceremony to watch I would have been mortified! Luckily my mum was able to control herself and wait for photos!

If someone uninvited showed up to watch my wedding, especially someone I didn't even really know, I would find it creepy and I would be extremely uncomfortable. How awkward!

You have every right to feel weird about it, I would be getting DH to tell her firmly that it's not acceptable. How rude.

Would you invite yourself to your dil's sisters wedding uninvited?

To be honest, it's the intent behind what she's doing that really gets to me!!

If she brought it up with you, and you said you don't think it would be a problem, that's different. But the fact that even after repeated attempts to explain that it's not appropriate, she is still selfishly making her own rules is plain rude. This woman sounds like a nightmare, honestly.

Would you invite yourself to your dil's sisters wedding uninvited?

Your MIL is a control freak. This should never have been sent to your Sister for approval. Inviting yourself along to a wedding is very bad manners and your hubby (not you) needs to step up, get some balls, lay down the law and put his mother in her place. Assuming you have a smart phone he can take responsibility for sending his mother a photo or video.

Would you invite yourself to your dil's sisters wedding uninvited?

If she's just watching the ceremony I don't see a huge issue with it. A friend of mine invited herself to our wedding ceremony. I felt bad for not inviting her but she's more my hairdresser than a close friend.

I wasn't expecting her to actually come but she did. Just the ceremony and then went home after.

I didn't mind at all. It's not like you pay per head for the ceremony. If someone was to invite themselves to the reception, well that's a different story

Would you invite yourself to your dil's sisters wedding uninvited?

I don't think it's weird at all for her to go to the ceremony and see her granddaughter all dressed up. Anything more than that is pushy to the extreme. Frankly I wouldn't mention it to my sister. I'd just task DH with keeping his mum in line if it looked like she was going to cause any problems.

Is dh about to "control her" with regards to not taking off with your daughter, not being possessive as you'd described, that she can come, watch, see her granddaughter dressed up, say hi, but not like as you sound like you''re afraid she might try to monopolies your daughter's time etc.

I live in a country town where it is really common to go and look at weddings of people you know, even if you are not invited. Seriously, my MIL writes the weddings in her diary so that she remembers who is getting married and when. It is not frowned upon at all by anyone I know, so in that regard I dont see the issue.

However after reading more about your MIL I can see why you dont want her there and why you would be concerned. Sounds like she is a major PITA. Hopefully you dont live close to her so you dont have to see her all the time.