Monday, September 9, 2013

Nothing Funny About Organs...

The
jokes pretty much write themselves: ‘organ,’ ‘blowing pipes,’ ‘wind,’
etc., etc., so on, so forth …. But the giggling stops when you start to
investigate the history, science, and simple magnificence that has gone
into the creation of some of the world’s most incredible pipe organs.

As
with a lot of important technological – as well as artistic –
achievements, trying to determine who made the first one of these things
is a bit fuzzy. Some experts give the ancient Greeks most of the credit
– specifically the genius Ctesibius of Alexandria. Those early Greek
organs were simplistic compared to the height of organ science … stop
giggling … but the basic principle is still the same: force air through a
pipe and you get sound. Make the pipe smaller, tighter, and the note
that comes out is higher. Make the pipe larger, wider, and the note that
comes out is lower.

What’s interesting is that
portable organs were not just created but common in certain parts of
Europe during the Middle Ages. They were probably about as mechanically
simple as Ctesibius’s early invention, but it’s still remarkable that
the technology was there and transportable by horse and wagon.

But
when you want to talk about big organs … I asked you to stop giggling …
you have to talk about the permanently installed ones.

As
with astronomical clocks, large organs quickly became the blockbusters
of their time. If yours was a town of any notoriety then you pretty much
had to have one – the bigger the better. The fact that they were used
by churches, like the aforementioned fancy clocks, couldn’t hurt either,
as they had the deep pockets to afford them.

Here’s
another bunch of interesting organ facts … what are you? 12? … the organ
created for Halberstadt, Germany was a monster for its time. Its
bellows had to be worked ceaselessly by ten men – who were, no doubt,
music fans. The technology is impressive today, and was simply
astounding when it was created in (ready for this?) 1361.

Because
the technology of a pipe organ is relatively simple, making them bigger
was pretty much a matter of just scaling them up: bigger pipes, bigger
air supplies, etc. While there were a lot of monster organs … now you’re
just embarrassing yourselves … there are some that took the musical
instrument from noteworthy to astounding.

One of the
largest is still played today: created in 1911, the Kotzschmar Memorial
Organ in Portland, Maine, is a beautiful piece of engineering as well as
musical artistry. Although much of its technology is hidden – which is
often the case with organs – what is visible is simultaneously elegant
and powerful, which also perfectly defines the music of its haunting
notes.

Another great organ … are you finished? … can
also still be heard. Created in 1904 for the St Louis World’s Fair, the
Wanamaker Grand Court Organ in Philadelphia is a monster among monsters.
Everything about the instrument looks like it was designed not just to
make sound but a LOT of VERY BIG sounds: it has not one, not two … but,
to get to the point, 28,482 pipes set in 461 rows. Its keyboard looks
more like something used to launch a space shuttle rather than create
music. But the organ definitely creates music – on a scale commensurate
with its standing as the second largest pipe organ in the world.

Okay,
get your giggles, guffaws and chortles out of the way. You ready to
hear about the world’s largest organ? Unfortunately – as with a lot of
big organ claims -- you’re likely to be disappointed.

Next
time you’re in Atlantic City, swing on by and check it out in the
Boardwalk Hall. Built in 1932, the organ makes that beast in
Philadelphia look like a sickly kitten. While the Wannamaker Organ
boasts those 28,482 pipes, the Boardwalk Hall organ has – ready for
this? – about 33,000 pipes. I say ‘about’ because even the
owner/operators of the machine aren’t sure. Even the engineering for the
organ looks like something that might have been built to power the
Muzak in the Tower of Babylon elevators.

The Boardwalk
organ holds a total of three Guinness World Records: largest pipe organ
in the world, largest musical instrument, and – it must have been a
literal blast to have been there when this was set – the loudest musical
instrument ever constructed. When asked how he felt about winning this
last award, the keyboardist was heard, barely, to answer “what?”

Alas,
the organ remains … you were waiting for me to make another joke,
weren’t you? Well, I would if we weren’t talking about such a legendary
musical instrument. The Boardwalk organ, alas, is largely silent: having
been damaged by weather, water, budget cuts, and poor attempts at
repair, it can still be heard but at only a fraction of its true
potential and power.

And there’s nothing funny about an organ that isn't operating at full capacity.

Reel Monsters

Dark Doings at Miskatonic U

Welcome To Weirdsvlle

Love Without Gun Control

Calling M.Christian versatile is a
tremendous understatement. Extensively published in science fiction, fantasy,
horror, thrillers, and even non-fiction, it is in erotica that M.Christian has
become an acknowledged master, with stories in such anthologies as
Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual
Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and in fact too many anthologies, magazines, and
sites to name.In erotica,
M.Christian is known and respected not just for his passion on the page but
also his staggering imagination and chameleonic ability to successfully and
convincingly write for any and all orientations.

But M.Christian has other tricks up
his literary sleeve: in addition to writing, he is a prolific and respected
anthologist, having edited 25 anthologies to date including the Best S/M
Erotica series; Pirate Booty; My Love For All That Is Bizarre: Sherlock Holmes
Erotica; The Burning Pen; The Mammoth Book of Future Cops, and The Mammoth Book
of Tales of the Road (with Maxim Jakubowksi); Confessions, Garden of Perverse,
and Amazons (with Sage Vivant), and many more.

M.Christian's short fiction has been
collected into many bestselling books in a wide variety of genres, including
the Lambda Award finalist Dirty Words and other queer collections like Filthy
Boys, BodyWork, and his best-of-his-best gay erotica book, Stroke the
Fire.He also has collections of
non-fiction (Welcome to Weirdsville, Pornotopia, and How To Write And Sell
Erotica); science fiction, fantasy and horror (Love Without Gun Control); and
erotic science fiction including Rude Mechanicals, Technorotica, Better Than
The Real Thing, and the acclaimed Bachelor Machine.

As a novelist, M.Christian has shown
his monumental versatility with books such as the queer vamp novels Running Dry
and The Very Bloody Marys; the erotic romance Brushes; the science fiction
erotic novel Painted Doll; and the rather controversial gay horror/thrillers
Finger's Breadth and Me2.

M.Christian is also the Associate
Publisher for Renaissance eBooks,
where he strives to be the publisher he'd want to have as a writer, and to help
bring quality books (erotica, noir, science fiction, and more) and authors out
into the world.