The Crying Game

But, regrettably, someone who did not have the courage to express his view on free speech day – where, clearly, both sides were allowed to speak in an atmosphere of mutual respect – chose to become offended. And, for the record, I believe that taking offense is a choice. There is no evidence of an un-gay gene that makes people perpetually unhappy.

So, in light of the fact that someone was offended, I think (not feel) that it would be best for me to lay down my basic beliefs about human equality before this semester gets under way – and, more importantly, before the drop date passes. Here goes:

1. I believe that all people – black or white, man or woman, gay or straight – were created equal. That is, they were born equally annoying. From birth through the next several years of life we are incapable of thinking of anyone but ourselves. We cry and scream and throw tantrums in order to get what we want – regardless of whether we deserve it or whether it is even good for us.

2. Over the years, most people learn to think of others. But a minority never really stops throwing temper tantrums in an effort to get what they want. I believe that most gay activists are in that minority.

3. I believe that whenever a person says “I am offended and my right to be un-offended trumps your right to speak” he is, in effect, throwing a temper tantrum. This is most certainly the case when he likens constitutionally protected free speech to a “phobia” simply because he cannot muster the courage to offer a calm and intelligent rebuttal.

4. I believe that temper tantrums thrown in an effort to advance the gay agenda do nothing but reinforce the stereotype that gays are emotionally inferior and, perhaps, emotionally unstable.

5. I believe that blacks and gays have only one thing in common: Their spokespersons – whether Perez Hilton or Al Sharpton – hurt the people they purport to represent by remaining in a constant state of offense, faux outrage, and self-righteous indignation.

Those are my views and I don’t really give a damn if they make you cry. I know all there is to know about the crying game. I don’t want anymore of the crying game.