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Keepers

The Beasman roiled by radio renewal with WHAS

YOU MAKE ME SICK WITH ALL YOUR U OF SMELL RAH-RAH-RAH NONSENSE, YOU BALD HAIRED, TWO BIT, TRAITOR TURNCOAT WENT-TO-U-UH-KAY-BUT-ACT-LIKE-YOU-LOVE THE CARDINAL CRIMINALS. I HEERED THE BAD NEWS. THEM RADIO RATS AT I HEART & WH&S AND THE 790-KRD DONE RENEWED THEIR VOWS WITH THE ENEMA U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS UNTIL THE YEAR TWUNNY TWUNNY TWO. IT’S DISGUSTERCATING, DADGUMMIT.

WHY IN THE SAM HILL DOES KENTUCKY’S #1 RADIO STATION GIANT SIGNAL BLOW TORCH WH&S WANT TO PUMP OUT FIFTY THOUSAND WATTS OF CARDINAL CRIMINAL ACTIVITY WHEN YOU ALL COULD BE ON THERE TAWKIN UP THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS? IT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE, YOU IDIOTS. WHO YOU GONNA PROMOTE NEXT ON THERE, ISIS?

WH&S IS POSED TO BE A KENTUCKY WILDCATS RADIATOR STATION ONLY. ALL THAT BIG PIRE HELPS ALL THE GOOD AND CLASSY U UH KAY FANS HEAR THE WILDCATS GAMES PLAYIN OFF ANYTHING METAL, LIKE CARS UP ON BLOCKS, STOVES SETTIN ON FRONT PORCHES, AND THE METAL PLATES INSIDE GRANDADDY’S HEAD. BUT NAW, Y’ALL DONE MADE ANOTHER DEAL WITH THE RED DEVIL…THE U OF SMELL DEN OF SIN, WHERE SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, STRIPPER POLE, TOOTHLESS, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, OBAMA PHONE, G.E.D. FLUNKIN CARDINAL FANS GIT TO HEAR ALL THEIR LOSERVILLE TAWK SHOWS WHERE THEY LIE ABOUT THE CATS. U OF SMELLERS LIE ABOUT U UH KAY MARCH MADNESS FAILRUES, FOOTBAW FAILURES, AND ACCUSE THE GOOD & CLASSY COACH CAL OF CHEATIN.

DADGUMMIT, SOME SHOVEL HEAD U OF SMELL IDIOT WAS ON A LITTLE WHILE AGO PRAISING THEM INJIANNER HOOSIERS FOR BREAKING KENTUCKY HEARTS IN MARCH MADNESS. HE SAID THAT COACH CAL WAS LIKE TED CRUZ, THINKIN ABOUT BASKETBAW RINGS BUT WE CAINT WIN ‘EM NO MORE. I’D LIKE TO RING YOUR NECK, LOSER. COACH CAL KNOWS IT’S CALLED A RIM. AND ANOTHER U OF SMELL LOUDMOUTH WAS ON WH&S LAUGHING AT HOW COACH CAL CAINT LOSES WITH ALL THEM MACDONALD ALL AMERICANS WHILE LITTLE VILLER-NOVA WINS IT ALL WITH NOBODIES. YOU OBNOXIOUS U OF SMELL TAUNTERS AINT GOOD AND CLASSY LIKE U UH KAY FANS.

LARRY, AS LONG AS Y’ALL WH&S PEOPLE IS TAUNTIN U UH KAY WITH YOUR RENEWED LOVE AFFAIR WITH LOSERVILLE, WHY DON’T Y’ALL GO AHEAD AND START RUNNIN INJIANNER GAMES! AND WESS-CONSIN, TOO! I BETCHA Y’ALL WOULD CARRY ROBERT MORRIS GAMES JUST TO HURT US CAT FANS EVEN MORE. IF I WAS RUNNIN U UH KAY, I WOULD JUST GIT SOME COAL MINER TO PUT A GIANT RADIO TIRE ON TOP OF RUMP ARENER AND PUMP OUT A MILLION WATTS OF NOTHIN BUT U UH KAY TAWK 24/7. WE WOULDN’T NEED NO TRAITOR TURNCOAT WH&S U OF SMELL LOVIN FRAUDS NO MORE.

Ashley Judd, ultimate Cats fan

LET’S JUST START UP W-C-A-T….WILDCATS RADIO, BLASTIN A SIGNAL UP INTO THE WILD BIG BLUE YONDER. I WON’T CAW YOUR STUPID SHOW NO MORE. NAW. I WILL BE THE MARNIN HOST ON W-C-A-T WILDCATS RADIO AND TAWK ABOUT THE CATS BEIN GREAT AND LOSERVILLE GOIN IN THE TARLIT. THEN AT LUNCHTIME MATT JONES COULD TAKE OVER FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. WE WOULD PUMP HAPPY U UH KAY NEWS TO THE EN-TIRE U-NITED STATES AND ALL THE WAY OUT TO MARS SO MATT DAMON OR ANY OTHER ASTRONAUT STUCK UP THERE COULD CHEER FOR THE CATS!

IS YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK STILL HIDING OUT UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? I HEAR TELL HE DONE TAWKED TO THE NC2A AND ALL HE DONE WAS SHAKE HIS HEAD NO TO EVER QUESTION LIKE HE’S SLING BLADE. THE NC2A INVESTERGATOR WOULD AST QUESTIONS ABOUT WHO GOT THE MONEY FOR THEM PROSTERTUTES AND SLICK RICK WOULD JUST GRUNT BACK “Y’ALL GOT ANY FRENCH FRIED BU-TATERS?” OH, GO AHEAD AND PLAY DUMB, SLICK. NOW THAT THEY DONE LET NARTH CARAMALINER OFF THE HOOK FOR IMAGINARY CLASSES I’M SURE THEY AIN’T GONNA DO NOTHIN OVER SOME MIDDLE AGE SKANKS DANCIN AROUND NEKKID.

self-proclaimed madam and prostitute Katina Powell, author of the book Breaking Cardinal Rules, claiming that she provided U of L players and recruits with sexual partners over a four year period

DADGUMMIT, THERE WAS ABOUT A HUNDERD THOUSAND NEKKED MIDDLE AGE LOSERVILLE SKANKS DANCIN AT THUNDER OVER LOSERVILLE AND AIN’T NOBODY CARED CUZ Y’ALL AINT GOT NO MORALS. YOU SUCK, WH&S. NEXT TIME I HEAR A U OF SMELL COACH SHOW ON THERE I’M GONNA BE LIKE BEYONCE AND TAKE A BASEBAW BAT TO SMASH MY RADIO. I KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE, BALDY. YOU AIN’T BECKY WITH THE GOOD HAIR. GIT OFF MY PHONE, YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL APOLOGIST. Y’ALL GO AHEAD AND BROADCAST U OF SMELL GAMES. JUST MAKE SURE YOU CRANK IT UP LOUD FOR THE KENTUCKY GAME SO ALL YOUR PINHEAD CARDINAL FANS CAN HEAR COACH CAL BEATIN YOU FOR THE NINTH TIME IN A ROW! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE!