Friday, September 29, 2006

Cookies for the preschool fundraiser are happening. We had to have a long discussion about NOT licking the icing knife while icing the cookies especially when the good Luthern folks will be there scarfing down sugary morsels tonight. Don't call the board of health, I'm already on their list due to Olivia's salmonella and I don't need yet another 20 minute lecture from the state nurse about proper hygiene and hand washing. While I was listening to this well meaning nurse I was chasing my 10 month old around on the floor while she popped dust bunnies in her mouth lying on the hard wood as if they were cheerios. And, no damnit she did not get the salmonella from OUR dirt, it was someone else's dirt perhaps along a beautiful Southern Chinese coastal region. The green runny nose is due to our dirt for the record.

We are also spending quite a bit of time perfecting the heave and roll. This is a tai chi move perfected by Chinese sisters the yesteryear bygones. My girls are channeling this move from their ancestors. It is especially helpful when younger sister is getting dangerously close to older and stronger sister's beloved toy. Younger sister gets close...aiyi...heave and roll. Presto, toy is older sister's yet again. Done enough times it will also insure that younger sister's rib cage never grows beyond the desirable 18 inches in diameter. This is encouraged by the honorable parents so that younger sister can always stay cute in her 6-9 month old clothing.

So, as you can see we are very busy. So busy in fact that hoisting 2 children in the SUV for trip to the supermarket usually proves much too exhausting for honorable mother. Now the dark side of this...I am out of coffee creamer and have resorted to baby formula mixed with a little Splenda to do the trick. This is bad right? This is beyond gross right? I swear if you've been up at least 2 times in middle of the night and have't showered in 2 days your standards will be lowered and baby formula substituting as coffee creamer isn't all that bad.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Over the next few posts I will see if I can do a bit of a trip recap. It does offer different perspective to be home from China a few weeks and think back on the mayhem that involves taking a 4 1/2 year old, 2 parents, and 1 grandparent from the Midwest to Newark to Beijing. Take a gander around Beijing for a few days and then fly everyone down to Guangzhou for 12 days. Oh yes, and don't forget about picking up the 9 month old along the way. (This is where the packing gets dicey.) Then take a 3 hour flight from Guangzhou to Beijing, layover for 5 hours and then fly to Newark. Layover 2 hours, wait on the crowed runway for and hour before another 2 hour flight home to where corn grows and people bar-b-que chickens and steaks on their backyard grills. (Not one snake swimming in a tank immediately before becoming dinner here baby!)

There are about 30,000 China adoption packing lists on the internet nowadays. Go download 15 of them and entertain yourself immediately after referral. Then use your common sense. Don't bring a coffee maker, I know I know some of you are little barristers in the making but at the 5 star hotels you can indeed get a cup of joe. Cappiccino at the WS is to die for. You can also leave the flares, large garbage bags, and duct tape at home. Yes, it is the real truth...I've been to China twice and never needed a roll of duct tape. I have no idea why it shows up on over 75% of packing lists.

Here is what you should bring.Very few clothes. Launder there people. It is a royal pain in the ass to have too many clothes. I swear when you get there, are woozy from the caterpillar fungus, and sleep deprived you won't give a rats ass that you are wearing the same pair of birkenstocks for the 12th day in a row. Tyra Banks does not do China and there is no cat walk. Even our guides were super casual this time.

Pack tons of ziplocs. Pack all your stuff in them and label label label. Then toss in the black sharpie marker to the suitcase. Ziploc your stuff you will need for the first leg of the trip (perhaps Beijing or Hong Kong) and pack that stuff on the top of the suitcase! That way you will not be messing up the WHOLE suitcase early in the trip. Pack the baby's stuff in separate ziplocs at the bottom of the suitcase, won't need that until you meet him or her and packing neatly will be a lost cause by then anyway. When you get to China don't discard the ziplocs. Keep them in the hotel rooms and use them as diaper baggies, dirty clothes containers, extra gift storage, wet swimsuit storage etc... there are 1000s of uses.

If you are traveling with a small child other than the one you are adopting make 2 bags full of fun stuff to do! One is for getting Bubba to China and one is for getting Bubba home. Don't let Bubba get into the second bag until you are leaving Guangzhou. (Hide it in the suitcase.) That way she will have a NEW set of coloring books, markers, toys etc... for the long trip home. This tip saved our weary asses, people. Man, was she jazzed to learn she had NEW crayons and NEW coloring books for the trip home.

Don't take the fabulous new gymboree clothes to China. I know you want to. I know some of you think you NEED to. But don't, save it for her coming home. Here is why. Chances are it might not all fit anyway and since it is expensive Gymboree you won't want to ditch it or donate it. The laundry ladies might even lose it. Ava is still missing some socks and some pjs. If you see a size 4T hot pink Carters jammie set on the streets of Guangzhou near the Lucky Laundry tell Jessie I want it sent home pronto! Here is the other thing, once you meet your baby and see China you will be overcome with emotion and want to do something for these fabulous but poor people who live and work in orphanages. I know it was purely ease my western guilt but I asked our guide to donate all of Olivia's in China clothes and left over diapers and meds to the next orphanage she visited. She happily took everything and told me she would be visiting a Guangzhou orphange next Tuesday. She had almost ourgrown several items anyway, and I knew our friends with great taste would make sure Olivia got a new outfit or two when we reached Western soil.

Don't skimp on the meds for you or the baby. Bring it all. Just walk into your local CVS and open your wallet and have the clerks toss one of everything into that red cart. Don't need a sleep aide? Ha on you, buy it anyway. All normal bodily functions and the probability of them working properly in China are off bets on this trip. Take advil, take cold meds, take cough meds, immodium, stool softeners, buy one of every baby med that is colorfully displayed. Also, buy more than 1 baby tylenol, if your baby needs it for 12 days one little bottle ain't gonna cut it. Yes, you can get most of these things in China but who the hell wants to have to navigate a western pharmacy run at 3 am when you have a screaming infant and a screaming husband? Not me, sister. I took the pharmacy...left the baby toys and took the pharmacy. And, I'd do it again.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

It's Saturday night and I have just viewed our Olivia Day video for the first time today in its entirety. I want to share it but right now it is just too intimate, perhaps that will change soon. Seeing yourself with your children on video in one of life's most stressful and yet overwhelmingly happy moments along with your spouse and father whom you love dearly is just indescribable. I almost shudder seeing it, isn't that strange? The video is like I remember, but not entirely. Those of you who have had children either through adoption or natural birth might be able to relate. I am grateful that I have the video since there are several aspects that I did not even remember, and I am sad that I have it. I can't even explain why...human memory is a strange and wonderous thing.

Olivia is a dream. She is the fairy tale child. I was not expecting or prepared for the fairly tale. I have a friend who has two Chinese children and she speaks often of the emotional fairy tale adoption that was her first child. No one is more surprised than I am to get the fairy tale the second time around! I am embarassed to admit that I was too uptight and scared as a first time parent to enjoy the ups and downs of babyhood with Ava. I want Olivia to stay 10 months old with every fiber of my being. (I am the mother who has professed to being a kid mom, not a baby mom.) I wanted Ava to be three years old at this stage, I pined for preschool. It is me...I'm flawed. Ava wanted to move contantly as a baby and be out of the house, so we did. We went somewhere everyday, I am not exaggerating. We had completed Kindermusik, the Children's Museum classes and Gymboree by the time she was 15 months old. She hated the house, this is also hard to say since it was in part a bit of a rejection of all that we had to offer. Why did she cry in the house? And love the mall? Olivia is different, she is alive in that playroom. Ava is even now alive in that playroom, she plays with Olivia non-stop with toys she hasn't looked at for 2 years. Olivia is the catalyst for a new type of trust and love in our family. I am dumbfounded, humbled and in awe that China would let us take her. Sometimes looking at her huge wise old eyes makes me tear up. Everything this kid does is golden in my jaded eyes. Every grin, every mimic, every nod of the head makes me swoon with mommy love.

I was unprepared...am unprepared for loving two equally...differently but equally. What was I thinking? I would adopt clones? No, but I just wasn't prepared for the emotional rollercoaster of two darling girls, two different and wise as sage children.

I've been thinking about how the next few posts will shake out. Perhaps a trip recap? Of course there is a short packing discussion for adoptive families since no one else in their right mind would be interested in ziplocs. Should I share the Olivia Day video? I have several pictures of the girls that I will post soon of course, and maybe even my follies with the pediatrician who called yesterday to tell me that the board of health will be calling us as the identify the type of Salmonella Olivia has and how we should treat it. Oh, more diaper joy to share with the state, fabulous. Right now they are busy with spinach E coli so we can talk to them next week. (I knew that the diaper situation wasn't normal, damnit.)

Who cares about all the details....I am in love with two ladybugs. May they both sleep peacefully through the night.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Aren't we all creatures of habit? On some level at least? I tease my husband about being a 70 year old man in a 40 year old body since he has his routine and by golly he's sticking to it. He likes to eat late, he likes pizza on Friday's, he religiously watches football in the fall. I tease him but I suppose Ava and I are not really that different. We have (or I should say had) our routine and were pretty content. Preschool days, Chinese school on Sunday afternoons, China buddies playdates 2 times per month, we eat soup or nachos when Daddy goes away on business, she likes at least 45 minutes in the tub, I like a glass of chardonnay after she goes to bed. I can barely function without my weekly fill of Law and Order reruns. I even walk the same 4 mile route across the street several times a week and never tire of seeing the large trees and 30 year old houses.

Then came Olivia. Let me preface this by saying she has got to be the sweetest human being known to man. She might even qualify as the "super human easy baby" award winner for 2006. I'm actively looking for a place to nominate her. I feel so guilty for trying so hard to force her on to our schedule. Whatever that means. I don't even really know what schedule I would choose if I could. Yesterday in a moment of active desperation and trying to gain control over a household run by a 10 month old, I dug out a pink post-it note and jotted down a sample daily schedule. It includes the 4 bottles, 3 meals, playtime, and 2 naps. I have it stuck to my calendar.

This is my half assed attempt at a baby, household and world peace. Miss Olivia blew a big fat rasberry when I showed it to her. She is apparently a fly by the seat of her pants girl. She likes to sleep late and eat often. No schedule required since Mommy and Ava look at her all day trying to read signs of what she needs or wants.

So it is onward and upwards for us. Today she slept until 9am after sleeping through the night, how can I even utter one word of whine with that? (Did I not say perfect kid?) Schedule smedule...maybe we will just continue to wonder what our next hour will be like for the next several weeks. So what if I can't seem to get out of the house for more than 30 minutes at a time since she either gets hungry or tired or poops all over the place anytime I attempt to plan to set foot more than 30 paces away from the playroom. Perhaps tomorrow I will pull out the big guns, the lime green post-it notes and rethink the schedule.

Some people have asked me recently about ziplocs. I'm letting go of the schedule thing and I will talk about ziplocs and packing soon. For those of you who haven't taken time away from your precious world to hang out here at twoladybugs I was somewhat crazed about ziplocs before leaving for China last month. Ziploc folks recently wrote me a letter thanking me for the 2 gallon sized endorsement. I'm expecting kickbacks, I wrote back. Anyway, yes ziplocs are the bomb and ironically they hold "the bomb" too, if you are having to deal with baby bombs if you get my smelly drift. Heee.

More to come on my bouts with mental retardation and small ingenious breakthroughs where China packing is concerned.

Monday, September 18, 2006

We have been home a week and these are the only photos I have taken. Shame on us, I know. They are somewhat half assed and do not show how absolutely over the top cute my Olivia is. I suppose they are representative of our life this past week though. We have been militantly focused on Olivia's need to eat. The kid is a machine. 4 bottles and 2 meals a day, but wait make that 3 meals a day since today she pitched a big ole' stink when she woke from a nap only 1 hour after being fed. I thought for sure teething had set in or Damian's child had awoken from a 3 week slumber. Turns out the kid only wanted some pureed bananas and a cheese cracker. Go figure.

I think there is a lot you forget when you are a second time parent. This perhaps falls under the same category as when women give birth and they forget about the excrutiating pain so soon that after only a few months they are getting happy with hubby and presto another birth in under two years. The same goes for how much you forget about how much time babies take. They are like little time sucking hogs pulling at your pant leg, before you know it it's 3pm and you are still in your jammies with an unmade bed following a long trail of primary colored toys from the bedroom to the living room...she's in her third outfit due to one poopy incident and one barfing incident mind you, but nothing is getting done. Except that you notice that you saw her toothless little grin 3 more times than you did yesterday. So you think ok, dust bunnies will wait, we will just buy more bottles rather than cleaning the old ones, and the bill collectors will surely understand. Who the hell cares, she is smiling!

Ahhh, this is life with a 10 month old. My mission shall be to capture this smiley phenomenon complete with big sister proudly grinning as soon as a load of laundry moves from one pile to another and both girls appear to be in a somewhat agreeable mood.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Yes, it has taken me a full week to begin to get my bearings. Only for the grace of my parents who helped with the trip and then after, once we were home am I seeing straight. The trip home was delightfully uneventful considering we were traveling with a four year old and a 9 month old. My only dance to brink was about 6 hours into the flight from Beijing to Newark when I suddenly realized that I had packed 6 cds which contained about 600 trip photos into the large suitcase which was at the time being carelessly jostled in hot cargo in the underbelly of the 777. How many suitcases were dropped on top of ours? Would it crack the cds? Would our travel mates share their 600 photos with us should our cds get broken? All I could think of was Olivia telling this story over and over at Thanksgiving dinners well into her 40's about how her lame ass mother broke ALL of her China adoption photos leaving her with nothing. An orphan with nothing...can you even imagine the guilt?

When we arrived at Newark I sprinted to the baggage carosel shouting at the Muffin Man to pick a kid and dropping the other off with my dad who stood dazed and confused. "Photos, oh in the luggage?" I got the big green suitcase and while seeing my husband's dirty underwear fall to the floor I drove for those photo cds...I silently traded a difficult flight on our last leg home for those cds to be in perfect condition with the heavens. Silly Godly trading will work I rationalized in my 25th hour of no sleep. Then there they were, perfectly stacked up without a scratch or dent. I breathed a sign of adoption trip relief. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Poor Olivia became a US citizen standing behind a man in a panama hat from somewhere foreign who left our olfactory senses reeling. Twenty minutes later the tough talking security guard with the thick New York accent was no match for me as I quoted my 4oz. right to non-prescription Benedryl for my babies from the 60 airport security signs I'd read along the way. She called a supervisor to make the call and Olivia blew out a nice green booger than earned us our meds back pronto. (The kid poops on command too, more on that later.)

Olivia was a dream the whole way, Ava colored quietly and napped without incident. I continue to swoon with my unbelievable fortune with these amazing kids. To top it all off I had 600 photos of our China experience to give to Olivia for her to share at Thanksgivings to come.

Now for some photos....I bet you are expecting something along the lines of matching pink sundresses aren't you? Well, shame on you. You need to read an archive or two to see how lame I truly am. It has been one week home and this is all I got. I promise to do better tomorrow and next week. Hmmm....Blogger is not allowing photos right now, what a surprise. I will upload them next time. Apologies.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

What took us 8 weeks to pack up to come to China now must take us less than 8 hours to re-pack to come home to America. Wow, one little 16lb. baby is taking up ALL the space in my backpack for the trip. It weighs more than she does. Good thing our new buddy Jessie on the Island was willing to sell us a nice new backpack for $6 American. Now all we have to do is remember to pick up our 16 little bags every time we plane, train, bus or automobile on the way home.

I want to take my girls home so badly it hurts. And then again, seeing them here in China makes me sort of ache leaving their homeland. Ava flows effortlessly between life here in China and our American life. She takes the sights and sounds and smells of Guangzhou and marches on just as she does at home feeling the entire universe revolves around her 4 year old world. People have asked me on this trip whether China has brought forth sensitive feelings for Ava. I suppose it would be sweet and rather melodramatic to say yes, but the true answer is not that I can tell. She wants to come home to her soccer team but is honestly happy watching Chinese cartoons and playing the game of gathering my attention by pulling my pants while I attempt even one conversation with an adult. Her questions about Chinese life and the orphanage have been all matter of fact. In typical fashion I don't sugar coat it with her I just attempt to explain different people in different parts of the world live differently. She nods and moves on to the next interesting event of the day. I must add one caveat to this though, and that is that life here at the Swan and 5 star living is NOT typical Chinese life or Chinese culture, heck it is not even typical American life for that matter. It is not reality when you don't even have to push an elevator button by yourself for heaven's sake. Perhaps the sights and sounds of heavy city poverty, Chinese life and the adoptees story will come a little closer to home later in her life.For now though we are focusing on getting to America to start our life as a family of 4. No more waiting... waiting for paperwork, referral, baby, trip to China. It is all now under our belt and I almost feel this unspoken permission to begin living life since everything we could have asked for in life is now here.

Scroll down a bit to see the famous red couch and the cutie pies who sit rather tenatively on the velvet.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Hey, look at us we aren't missing any school. We took a trip to the local boarding school this afternoon. Children are kindergarten age to primary school age and board 5 days a week at this showcase school. (I cannot imagine sending Ava to boarding school while she is so young.) They are mostly children of Chinese government officials. It is state of the art! Ava had a blast playing with the kids.

Monday, September 04, 2006

There must have been about 100 babies lined up for medical exams in this tiny office in Guangzhou yesterday. Fill out a form, wait in line, plop your babe down on the scale, measure her head and poof, everyone is ready to go to America.

So much about this trip to the medical office was the same as last time. Screaming babies with mass crowded chaos that only lasts a few minutes before you are released to make your way back to your temporary hotel home by way of 50 shop keepers vying for your attention and ultimately your almighty dollar. Then so much is different. Last time I felt more in control of the trip and the adoption and all that was required of us as parents adopting Ava Jing. I knew when to pay and when to appear for appointments, I gave gifts at the right time and we had a well dressed baby with a clean face. This time, I embarassingly had to borrow 100 yuan from a travel mate to pay the guide for something at the medical office. See how clueless I am? My baby is healthy but with a runny nose that continues to drip non-stop due to the extreme difference in temperature outside versus inside. It was smeared into her eyebrow this morning at breakfast. Ava insisted on wearing her purple crocs with dirty shorts yesterday morning, and I noticed her hair was uncombed only at 4 in the afternoon. I chose to let it go rather than argue. Am I now one of those mothers who is harried with her hellions running amok? Hopefully it is an adjustment period and Ava's teeth won't be growing green fuzz in another week. Bad hygiene aside everyone is relatively happy, heathy and well fed. I suppose this is what is important on this trip.

I leave you with this picture of Ava riding the bull dog on Shaiman Island. I guess this woman behind her represents the average American visiting the island? Hmmm....

Sunday, September 03, 2006

I feeling better today, hooray. One z-pak started and a little sudafed sinus and Momma's back in business. Just in time too. At 10am this morning we have to take Olivia to the obligatory medical exam here on the island. This medical exam has absolutely nothing to do with checking the physical prowess of your baby. It is more about paying another fee and after having your baby for a week it is more to test how some chinese doctor can strip your baby down to plop them on the scale hear then scream bloody murder and then hav e fun watching the stressed out mommies and daddies pick them up to comfort them. Good times, right of passage here in adoption land.

It is about 7:30 am and my crew is sleeping. Olivia is just waking up after over 12 hours of sleep. I swoon with love for this kid! Her head smells like perfect baby fuzz her wirey little body has a perfect tummy pooch when she's eaten 8oz. of formula. She smiles when she sees us and is happy to let us comfort her when shes scared or upset. Right now she is speaking Cantonese, well baby Cantonese which consists of gullah gulllah gullah. It makes perfect sense to her. Other new development, she is cruising like a '65 Mustang and with the confidence to boot. She even stands for a few seconds unassisted. I don't think it will be long before the super baby is walking on her own. This is all great and everything but someone better get to work babyproofing the house at home. I was expecting a few months before mobility.

I don't know what made me think that if everyone else in the room was sick I would miraculously escape the wrath. I'll spare you the details but thank goodness the guys were willing to take both girls this morning. I've already slept from 10am to 1pm and am just starting to be able to see straight. The good news is that the guys have recovered and Ava is doing better with her bronchitis. Did you know that the White Swan provides breathing treatments? Ava is now a regular. She now anticipates the Chinese medical staff and people on the streets asking if she is from Hunan and matter of factly states "Yes, I am a spicy girl while rolling her eyes." So much for Chinese reverence for elders. Someone forgot to send her the memo. I suppose I am just destined to see the inside of medical clinics while traveling in China. Grrr....

This picture is a little light but it does show us all at the Guangzhou Museum that features the 2000 year old tomb. Our guide told us that this tomb and one other in Hunan are the only tourable tombs like this in China. As luck would have it we got to see the lovely 2000 year old gal in Changsha last time, compete with 2000 year old hair and organs in a bottle. Yummy. Now that's a good time, dried up guts.

I think that we will forever call this picture a girl and her pearls. What a story this will be when Ava graduates from University and receives the pearls that she picked out in China at 4 years old. She was very clear that white was better than black. Pink, wouldn't do either. Her taste is classic at heart I guess. I've never seen so many South China Sea pearls and black beauties from Tahiti in wholesale atmosphere. They string them there after you select your fancy. They double knot each pearl with strong silk. Ava and I simply walked from each bunch (they are bunched like bananas) and lovingly touched each and every string. Holly Golightly would have been jealous.

Olivia has finally settled down for an afternoon nap and the guys are headed off the the pool. The room smells like french fries and ketchup and baby poop. Unfortunately housekeeping has already been here. I am going to go rub a little lavendar lotion under my nose and take another nap. Until later.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

I feel a little like I did when I was in Vegas last summer, ungodly hot outside so the fabulous hotel is just that...fabulous, but then after a few days it is Ground Hog Day and each day spills over to the next without any special marking. The hotel is like being in an underground city in close encounters of the third kind. You have to do a city tour or something just to keep yourself from staring at your fingers while counting to 500 and drooling at the same time. I am a little worried Nurse Ratched might show up by next Wednesday.

My guys were sick yesterday. I think that Ava accidently gave them the Chinese creeping crud and they were supine almost all day. It is amazing to watch men supervise a 4 year old and a 9 month old while resting comfortably in bed (I had over 2 hours of adoption paperwork in the afternoon). What the heck am I missing and why can't I figure that out at home? They are a little tired today but seem to be rebounding nicely. Olivia and I are holding our breath in hopes that we drew the keep healthy card. In preparation I am swilling Airborne and obsessing nicely over little bottles of Purell.

This morning after Ava proclaimed that she would only be speaking and looking at me today she decided against her better judgement that she would indeed like to tour the 2000 year old tomb here in Guangzhou. Apparently all of Mommy's attention on that adorable little morsel we call Olivia has caught up with her in grand fashion and Mommy would be hers again for the day. We all agreed and Daddy carried Olivia and Mommy focused 100% on Ava's every whim. It all somewhat resembled a daft eunach catering to the empress's delicate temperament circa Qing Dynasty. But, when in China..... What a difference a few hours of that all made though, Miss Ava is feeling poorly and has a new mei mei to deal with...she's dealing with the changes and I'm sure that's the end of this family's sibling rivalry issues. Don't laugh out loud, it's unseemly and does not become you.

So, what's a girl to do with all this excitement? Grab Daddy's credit card and head off to the wholesale pearl market of course for retail therapy. Ava and I happily touched thousands of pearls while oogling white, pink and black beauties. We simply could not resist and each of us ladies got a strand with earrings to match since this is no time to worry about baby needing a new pair of shoes. Or formula, or diapers or an education. We threw caution to the wind and Ava selected white pearls for herself and her sister. Momma chose black and they are to die for. The Muffin Man was a huge big sport about the whole deal and simple said, "Just wear them lots." What a dude!

Did you see Ava's new rags? Nice huh? What four year old wouldn't love a swishy red princess dress? Olivia has one to match but that was too much effort for me to get them both into the dresses yesterday. I am pacing myself with this 2 child stuff, you see. She put it on and I almost cried she was so happy to be wearing such a pretty dress. She paraded Olivia and I all over the White Swan lobby in high style until she proclaimed it itchy wanting her shorts back. All in all she's a pruple croc future birkenstock wearing gal after my very big heart!