Writing for myself; hoping for sanity, redemption, and mercy. Using the letters on the keyboard as little life preservers.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Bag or the Box

I took my next step today. I've been putting it off until I knew for certain that I was ready. Well, as certain as I could be. I went online and started researching ostomies. How to care for them, how to change the different appliances, what (exactly) they look like, etc. After reading everything I could find, I then went on youtube to see the real deal. My first video was a man showing how he changes the wafer and cares for the skin around his stoma. A stoma is the part of the intestine that protrudes from your stomach. It was very difficult to watch and I did break down knowing that in less than two weeks time I would have my own stoma. Then I came across this video and it made me feel stronger.

So my plan is to continue watching videos, reading, and looking at real life pictures until I am desensitized. I have watched about 15 youtube videos already and I am pretty confident that I understand what is ahead of me. Of course no one can predict which stumbling blocks or hurdles will come along, I will just have to jump those as they arise. Several people I have spoken with say that it takes about a year to get used to these things. I have to tell you that I am determined to shorten that period. From all my research, the biggest hurdle is the patient's mindset. I am ahead of the game because I know its coming and I am educating myself before the fact.

So tomorrow morning I am driving in to Houston again for my third opinion. I don't expect the opinion to change, but I am going to use this doctor as a resource for making sure I ask all the right questions of my own doctor, and so he can educate me further.

Then Wednesday morning I meet with my own doctor again, just for communication purposes and getting more questions answered. Then I have a pik line put into my left arm, and then I meet with the ostomy nurse so she can mark up my belly for the surgery.

THEN I get to enjoy four days with my family. I am going to cook turkey, the best damn dressing in the world, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potato casserole, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and cranberries. We are going to take family pictures either Thursday or Friday. We are going to laugh and have a good time and I am going to relax and soak it all up.

1 comment:

Susan, I am catching up with blogs as well, and though I read this last week, I didn't have time to respond. Or perhaps I didn't take the time because I didn't know how. That's probably more honest. I've been thinking of you constantly since I learned what is happening and I feel so helpless. All I can say is that...that I'm thinking about you and sending out my prayers to the Universe that you will survive and survive well. If your attitude has anything to do with it, you will. I've watched the colostomy video and done some research as well. Stay brave, my dear. Take all the loving thoughts from others and store them inside for strength. And keep writing.

hello

I like to laugh, but even more I like to make the people around me laugh. I like secrets, but I'm only good at keeping the really important ones, so I like sharing secrets even more. I like seeing the good in people, and overlooking their faults. I don't like being the pot that calls the kettle black. I love to read because I love being swept away to another place and time. I like learning new things, I like seeing old things in a new way.