Tag: exercise

About 5 years ago, my sole purpose to go the gym was to lose weight. Why? Because it would make me happier of course. I would find a boyfriend, get a better job and become that person I always wanted to be. My gym sessions were slow and horrible. I would run on the treadmill, get bored. Go on the bike, get bored. Try the elliptical, get bored. Go home. And because I didn’t have a purpose, I would eat and drink shit….and of course my weight would stay the same. I hated it.

Being stuck in a world of “weight loss” wasn’t helping my confidence. If I didn’t like how I looked, I wasn’t going to portray a very comfortable person, and ultimately, the people I surrounded myself with treated me the same way.

My social media was filled with size 0 models, “how to lose weight” guides, skinny teas and detox guides. My pantry was filled with “treats” I would promise myself to only eat on my cheat meal, but really would gorge into as soon as I got home from work.

Get the picture?

Enter powerlifting.

When I started lifting, I still had the obsession with losing weight, it wasn’t an overnight fix. Weights were then becoming the “fat blaster” fad, and my tiny 2kg dumbells were meant to be the answer to everything. Boy was I wrong. When my coach started teaching me the motions and technique behind the squat, bench and deadlift my goals made a shift from weight lost, to weight I could move.

80kg Deadlift

I remember my first goal of an 80kg deadlift. It seemed impossible when I was only lifting 40kgs, but that was the goal. Each session I would go in, do my program and leave feeling like I had succeeded. It was a brand new feeling. My coach really encouraged me to stop weighing myself. To stop obsessing over THAT number. It was a very calming break. I started reading self-love guides instead of weight loss guides. I started really talking to myself and telling myself that I was actually OK.

There is a sense of achievement from powerlifting that I had never felt before, and it’s something I’m now addicted to. I STRIVE to be a better lifter. But how does that differ from an addiction to weight loss? Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing before. The idea of “weight loss” seemed so unreachable and mind boggling. I had no idea HOW to get there, or even WHY. The treadmill certainly wasn’t doing it.

My goals are ever-changing. Once I hit that 80kg deadlift – I wanted 100kg. Once I hit 100? 140! And so far I’ve hit every single goal. Just last week I hit my current goal of 190kg deadlift – and that goal has once again increased. It’s the same for squat and bench as well – once you hit that number, celebrate and start again. Bigger and better, every single day.

Oh, and not only am I no longer bored – I have a husband, an awesome job, and found that person I was looking for. And it had nothing to do with losing weight.

I hate the word fail – but sometimes that’s exactly what happens. Today’s session did not go to plan at all. My squats were feeling off, the bar was sitting weird and I would go down, but wouldn’t get back up – the ultimate fail. A weight that would normally move very easy, was suddenly a huge grind and I was NOT happy. And do you know what was going through my head? “FAIL FAIL FAIL”

The failed squat

If you’re anything like me, a bad session can turn even worse very quickly. A few swear words, a few dirty glances in the mirror, talking and thinking yourself down until you grab your things and head for the door. Working through a fail session can sometimes feel harder than the session itself.

So how do you get through it?

First of all, take a deep breath. So much of a fail session is mental, so try not to be too down on yourself. Have a think about what’s going on – outside stresses? Have you eaten properly today? Drunk enough water? So many factors can affect what goes on in the gym, so try and clear your head. Don’t over analyse the fail.

DON’T leave the gym – you’ll let the fail win. You’re there and that’s awesome, so don’t leave on a bad note. If you’re not feeling it, move onto something else. Take the weight down, get your accessory work done, or go for a walk on the treadmill but whatever you do, don’t leave!

A little bit of self belief can go a long way

Ask for a spot. If it’s a confidence thing, sometimes having someone there to catch you/the weight can make all the difference. Most people are pretty keen to help out, so ask someone working out close by, or ask one of the gym staff.

Remember the big picture. Remember what bought you here in the first place. That dress you want to fit into? That holiday that’s coming up? Whatever the reason, get it back in your head and focus on it. For me – it’s my comp in 6 weeks, no bad session is going to stop me pushing towards that goal!

Let it go when you leave the gym. Don’t hold onto it and turn the next session into a bad one as well. Congratulate yourself on what you got through and have a laugh about the bad stuff. Next time you will nail it!

So 2015 has begun. A new year, new goals, and so many exciting things to look forward too. Lifting, lifting and a little bit more lifting!

I’ve spent a bit of time looking back over 2014, revisiting the goals I made, and feel a big sense of pride at what I have accomplished. Highlights for 2014 were getting engaged (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!), placing 2nd at my first ever powerlifting competition, and then gold at my first GPC sanctioned event. No, I didn’t lose the weight I wanted, but I think what I have learned certainly makes up for it. Losing weight isn’t going to happen without knowing how to do it.

So here is a list of things learned during 2014

FOOD is one of the most important things to know about. I’m pretty happy to say that I now feel confident when making decisions about what to eat. Early 2014 I came back in touch with a beautiful girl called Mia, who I went to high school with. Mia has given me so much knowledge about feeding my body the correct things to let it be the best it can be. Check her out here or on instagram @madebymiaxo I now take vitamins in the morning, eat a healthy breakfast (vegetables included), fill my body with vegetables during the day, water and eat a dinner that will help me grow. I still eat candy, chocolate and treats, but I am learning how to eat in moderation.

Training. Gosh I love it. I go crazy if I don’t do it. Find something you love, and do it. Walking, running, basketball, whatever you love. Do it. For me it’s most definitely Powerlifting.

Celebrate your successes. Seriously. No matter how small. It’s these successes that help you keep on moving.

Don’t stop. You will have days where you feel like a failure, days where you think it isn’t working and days where you could eat a whole chocolate cake. Trust me. But it’s these days that turn into the biggest successes.

If you do find you eat that chocolate cake, eat it, enjoy it, and then get back on the wagon. Maybe go for an extra walk.

Find a trainer that can teach you how to train. For me, it started out being about eliminating injury and knowing how to do the exercises properly. But then it turned into a passion. I’ve been training with Mark from El Nino Strength and Fitness for nearly 3 years. What Mark has taught me during this time has been invaluable. Check him out here on FB or on insta @elninofitness

Love the shit out of your life. Learn, grow, change, talk, listen. Love everything you do.

Don’t get a leg wax after leg day. Seriously.

So, last weekend I competed in my first comp for 2015 – the NSW powerlifting state title, this was the qualifiers for Nationals. They came around pretty quickly and my training into comp was pretty rushed, but I went in feeling confident and strong. I ended up with new PBs for each lift, and a new PB total, for which I am quite proud. Once again, I was in awe of the incredible ladies I saw on the platform, it’s one thing I LOVE about powerlifting – STRONG WOMEN! BIG thanks to PTC Sydney for an EPIC comp.

To be honest, I was pretty gutted with my deadlift. I attempted 185 TWICE, and only just missed it. But it’s only made me more determined to get it next time, maybe even more! I ended up with a gold medal and a place at the Aussie powerlifting Nationals, which is where I am heading next. It was a bit of decision. Nationals are being held 3 weeks after my wedding, and I was unsure whether I wanted to take on planning a wedding AND training for nationals as well as trying to get through everyday life. But after a big discussion with my fiancé, and going through the time frame with my coach, I decided to go for it – you only live once right?

Me and my number 1

Me and coach – Mark from El Nino Strength and Fitness

First up I had to put some SOLID goals in place to get my through the next 12 weeks. 3 nutritional based goals, and 3 training based goals.

Nutrition

Eat dinner as soon as I’m home so I’m not tempted to snack

Plan my food, especially in the weekend, so I know exactly what I’m eating

Eat breakfast in the weekend when I get up so I’m not starving and over eating

Cardio is my friend. Cardio is my friend. Cardio is my friend. *repeat till you believe it*
This journey has been breaking itself down into chapters. Different challenges that have hit, that have changed the direction I’ve moved in, so a bit of a shuffle has been needed. The latest challenge has been one of the toughest.

After the last comp, I was on a bit of a high – I became complacent, and not so strict on things I should’ve been and as a result I found myself in a bit of a funk – the scales were tipping way higher than I want, and it sent me into a bit of an emotional spiral. I TRY so hard not to let my weight get the better of me, and measure my success in other ways, but sometimes it just beats me down.

I don’t like being in a funk. I lose all motivation, and come up with the most incredible excuses as to why continuing the behaviour is ok. The behaviour that started me on this journey in the first place. When I look back at what I’ve done this year – I can’t help but be proud, but this funk was going to let me throw it all away. I missed gym sessions, I was eating takeout again, snacking on candy, and not following my eating plan. And of course – my body responded the only way it knew how.

Enter my trainer Mark, from El Nino Strength and Fitness. He gave me a bit of tough love, a new eating plan and a whole heap of cardio. No no, I’m not converting to running, just low weight/high reps instead of high weight/low reps. The snap back I needed. Get my body thinking right again. I’m really not much of a fan of doing more than 5 reps of anything – so 10 – 15 is a challenge (I know my other loco warriors will understand) but we’re getting there and I am enjoying the new training. I decided to pull out of the push/pull comp – so I won’t be competing again till next year, so there is heaps of time to get things back on track.

FOOD
I don’t like talking much about what I eat. As I’ve said before, I’m a HUGE emotional eater, and always the first to go when I get happy/sad/have feelings. But I thought I’d give you a bit of an insight to what my day consists of.

I always start the day with Magnesium, B vitamins and Omega – helps with the headaches, stress and keeping my body fit and healthy.

My magic pills

Breakfast – Green smoothie first thing (5.30am), followed by 2 hardboiled eggs when I get to work (8.30am)

Snack – some nuts and a coffee

Lunch – chicken or tuna and salad with ½ avocado

Snack – Banana

Post workout protein shake

Dinner – Salmon and Salad

Solid, and easy to follow. And so far has been pretty good. I’m very lucky to have one of my besties along the ride with me. I would seriously suggest finding a buddy who you can txt/call when you’re feeling like you’re going to crack. This chick has some serious will power, and it’s given me so much motivation watching how mentally strong she is. Together we are fighting through the sugar cravings, and both have some awesome goals we are working towards.

So that’s it. I’ve got my end of the year goal set – and I’m determined to hit it.

My mum came to visit me over the weekend, which was bliss. I must admit, I do miss my mum a bit. She’s a bit crazy, but when it comes down to it has some of the best advice, and with my wedding coming up, I needed some Mum time. We tried on wedding dresses, talked about centre pieces and placemats, and it was perfect. She’s left me in a pretty good place, and I’m looking forward to powering through the rest of this year. We went on some big walks, and talked about where I’m heading with all aspects of my life. It was very very much needed – so thanks Mum.

Perfect spot for some goal setting with Mum!

SO – with Christmas (and my bday) coming up, I really really have to push myself to stay on track. NO EXCUSES!!

As you may have gathered, I love lifting. I’m pretty sure I’m addicted. It makes me happy, and I think this is the most dedicated and focussed I’ve ever been. The next comp at PTC Sydney is just over 6 weeks away and I am AMPED. I’m working towards some big numbers for the next comp, and I’m feeling pretty good about it. At least a 180kg deadlift, 130kg squat and a 70/75kg bench. A total of at least 380kgs. There are no holidays booked, no reasons for me not to have 6 weeks of solid prep, (or so I thought). I have a brand new pink powerlifting belt and it is giving me superpowers (or so I like to think). Mark and I have been working really hard on getting my body working properly and I was feeling good!! Enter illness…..

Brand new pink belt! Pink power!!

Unfortunately the past few weeks I’ve been really struggling with headaches and nausea. I’ve really tried to ignore it and push on through, but then it happened… I got sick. I woke up with no voice, and then it was all downhill from there. Blocked nose, sore throat, irritating cough and just general yuckiness. Two days off work and two missed training sessions, and then when I finally made it out of bed on Saturday, even doing the groceries was exhausting. I was pissed off. My training was thrown off and all I could do was lie in bed and sulk about it. Even when I was back at work a throbbing headache and feeling of puking had me run for the train home. This was NOT like me. I really MISSED training, I missed the feeling of smashing a good deadlift, but I didn’t want to push myself too early.

Tuesday last week I bit the bullet and made my way to my training session after work. To be honest, I really wasn’t in the mood. My muscles felt tight and tired, and I knew it was going to be a shit session, so wanted to avoid it for as long as possible. Being the first session of the week, it was squat night – so I summoned my pink powers and pushed out the “you can’t do this” and went for it.

Well after about 20mins of warming up and struggling through the initial few sets, I wasn’t going well. My body had actually forgotten what to do. I was wobbly and not as solid as I remember I was, at times it was a little scary, but with the guidance (and spotting) of my amazing trainer, I managed to push out 6 sets of 110kgs x 2. A huge effort, and man it felt good to be back.

Wednesday, I was back to feeling shit – so shit I ended up at the doctor. I’ve been dealing with a bit of nausea lately, and way too many headaches, so I needed to get it sorted. My doctor took some blood, which have all come back clear. I’ve been put on migraine and anti-nausea meds until it all gets sorted, but she pretty much just said I am running myself to the ground. My early starts, late nights and training mixed together with some stressful times at work have literally pushed my body to the max, and something needs to be done.

Home sick with my snuggie trying to keep entertained

SO – where does that leave me now?

I hate being sick, I hate missing training and I hate having to catch up again to where I was. So for the next 7 weeks I’m going to be taking VERY good care of myself. I may have missed before that Saturday night before I got sick last week, I had spent the evening at the Bledisloe Cup opener game (I do enjoy my rugby), drinking beer, and in the rain. This combined with being tired and stressed at work and my heavy weight training, left my immune system low and ready for any virus that wanted to do its thing. Not my best decision, but who is going to turn down FREE gold class tickets? Unfortunately, I might just have to next time.

Taking care of myself is unfortunately going to mean being away from my fiancé for a bit. A very good friend of mine is heading away for about 3 weeks next month, so I’m going to trial living in the city for 2-3 nights a week and see what happens. I just can’t survive on the 4-5hrs sleep I’ve been having a night lately, and I need to have more, and I think this is the only way to find these extra hours needed.

Food. Yep, as usual. I had BIG sugar cravings while I was sick and I gave into these cravings badly, and they seem to be sticking around. Good food, healthy food and make sure I’m planning ahead. I have a nasty history of completely throwing in the towel every time something like this happens – but not this time. It’s more important now, than ever, that I’m eating well and giving my body what it needs.

Mind. Deep breathing, taking time to laugh, and not letting my work and life get on top of me. I’m thinking bubble baths, reading back through my goals and reminding myself of WHAT and WHY I’m doing this. This also might include blasting my new fav song and dancing ridiculously round my room (check out It’s all about the Bass by Meghan Trainor – excellent booty shaking song)

Love. Pretty self-explanatory, but this one is really important. I’m so blessed by the amazing people I have in my life, and I need to make sure they know how much I appreciate them.

And if anyone has any natural ways of dealing with chronic headaches, please let me know.

So I had the most shocking session on Monday. It was squat day and I knew before I even got there that it wasn’t going to go well. I was feeling gross, I had a headache and I felt very very bloated (Probably because I ate far too much on Sunday night – lesson learned). But I showed up, and gave it a crack.

I started off slow, and never really picked up. I ended up failing pretty miserably on a 90kg squat. I was on rep number 2, and I went down – but there was no getting back up. There were almost tears, but I did what any self-respecting girl does – held it in till I got to the bathroom. Ha, no but seriously… I was gutted. I made it through the rest of the session with some assistance work, but the damage was done… I had failed.

Failure is a horrible word when you’re trying to lose weight and get healthy. It leaves the world open to so much disappointment. What makes a fail? A bad meal? Missing the gym? Failing out on a set you smashed the week before? Having two cookies instead of one? I’m sure I’ve felt some level of failure after all of these.

So what now? Crawl up in a ball and cry? Eat myself into a coma and give up completely? NO! I was NOT going to fall back into that trap. This was one minor setback in a whole heap of amazing progress, toughen up and move on.

Are you going to let it defeat you?

I took the day yesterday for some reflection…remind myself why I was doing this. About 6 weeks ago I set myself some goals to get me through the 8 weeks before my holiday

Exercise – training 3 times a week with Mark, plus Tuesday and a weekend day.

Breeeeeeeeeeeath – everyday

Look after my liver – Lots of dandelion tea, lots of water and limit my alcohol

It was JUST what I needed to kick me back into shape. I still had a rubbish headache all day, but I took my time reading through each goal, what it meant to ME. I went home early after work and did some work on the foam roller and then crashed out. It was great.

This morning I woke up with a smile, I was feeling better and I was amped to get back into the gym. I put on my fav sneakers, my fav lippy and set about smashing the day. I listened to my fav music on the train ride in – cheesy 90s pop. The cheesier the better. This morning it was S Club 7, judge me if you need to. But it got me going. My session tonight was just what I needed. I smashed the bench with some pretty solid sets of 55kgs, then some incline dumbbell press, some military press and then finished off with some close grip bench. An epic, strong session.

So last week I booked tickets for me and my boyfriend for a 10 day holiday in New Zealand. Bit of time in Christchurch catching up with the family and my friends, then heading down to Wanaka for a few nights. When I left NZ 2 years ago, never did I think that I would end up here. Happy, completely in love and on my way to compete in my first powerlifting comp.

Leaving NZ was a bit of a spur of the moment decision. I came over to Oz for a holiday in November 2011, had the most amazing time – then January 1st 2013 I bought the ticket and 6 weeks later I was here. I spent a month down at my Dad’s sorting my life out, deciding what I was going to do, then it was up to Sydney, job interviews and then apartment, friends and a new life. I’m not going to lie, I may have been running – from what I’m not sure, life I think. Christchurch was rough at the time. Aftershocks after the earthquake were still running hard and we were all trying to come to terms with what our new post-earthquake life meant. I was stuck in some pretty toxic friendships, and they were bringing me down pretty bad. I saw Australia as a pretty drastic way of leaving them all behind. Was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Moving countries is something I suggest to everyone – at least once. I’ve done it twice. England and then Australia. It’s liberating. Scary, but liberating. It certainly wasn’t a walk in the park either. I made some stupid decisions, moved house 3 times in about 6 months, and definitely thought about moving back to NZ once or twice. But I made it through and now I’m here… loving life, living it huge and ready for the next challenge.

With 8 weeks to go till NZ (and counting) I thought I’d better set some goals to help me through. I’ve discovered that the old “eat no crap and drink no alcohol” type of goals don’t work for me. I don’t know how they work for anyone. I LIKE FOOD. I need to set goals that are realistic, but that will help me still reach my major goal.
Mark and I have also started on a new training program. We change it up quite frequently, which is GREAT for someone like me. We’re really working towards the big lifts and I’ve hit a new PB for my deadlift… 145kgs BOOM!

The smile on my face that day was pretty huge, and MAN it felt good. The reaction from the guys in the gym made it even better.

My strong days are the ones where I leave the gym with nothing except a big smile on my face, when I struggle to walk to the train station, and when I end up sitting in my seat going over what just happened. A strong day is when I remember why I’m doing all of this – the commute, the training, the eating, everything. A strong day is where I LOVE every second of it. A strong day is when I know I’m doing exactly the right thing. Strong days feel accomplished.

Thursday was one of those days.

This is what I did:

Bench: New PB of 60kg for 2

Squats: 80kgs to failure

Deadlift: 3 sets finishing off at 120kgs for 4

Strong days are also days where I am reminded how lucky I am to have the support crew around me. Mark my trainer, the amazing network of team Top Health PT (also known as team Make It Happen), my friends, family, boyfriend…they all help in making me stronger.

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”

Today I went out and had a bit of a pamper day – I like to keep my girly side. I went and had my hair and nails done and feel amazing

Change is as good as a holiday…or so they say… But change has happened and now it’s time to embrace it. My trainer, Jake, has decided to move on to a different line of work so unfortunately won’t be training me anymore. I’m pretty gutted, as was really enjoying the journey we were on… BUT things aren’t as terrible as they could be, coz I’m back with Mark, my original trainer. We’ve had four sessions so far and they have been awesome. Mark’s dedication to the job and love for what he does is infectious – so it’s hard not to feel really motivated at the moment.

The sessions are a bit different, lots more attention on my technique which means I’ve had to take the weight down a little bit but I’m still loving it. I’ve been eating well, drinking loads of water and feeling pretty good. So I’ve made the decision (thanks to a slight push from my darling friend Kate) that it’s time to compete. Actually put my powerlifting into action and see where it can take me. It’s a scary but exciting step, and I know I have an amazing cheer squad who will be behind me every step of the way. The other night we did squats, lots of them, with 30kgs – and this time we went aaaaaaall the way down, instead of the ¾ squats I was doing before. Learning to engage my glutes, which will help so much more in competition. I am still feeling it today…

Sunday night I caught up with my amazing nutritionist. She really is an incredible person and I feel so blessed to have her watching over me. Anyways, it seems my morning cortisol levels are really low. From what I have read (and please correct me if I’m wrong), cortisol levels rise and fall during a 24hr day, and it is normally at its highest between 6am-8am. Cortisol is produced by the adrenal gland and is often known the “stress” hormone as it is secreted at higher levels during the bodies “fight or flight” response to stress and is responsible for several of the stress related changes in the body. It helps support blood sugar levels and helps metabolism.

With my crazy hours and lack of sleep, my adrenal glands are under huge amounts of stress which is causing adrenal fatigue – hence the low levels of cortisol in the mornings. Adrenal fatigue is normally characterised by the following:

– Feeling tired for no reason
– Trouble getting up in the morning
– Rundown or overwhelmed
– Difficultly bouncing back from illness or stress
– Craving sweet and salty snacks
– More awake, alert and energetic after 6pm

The shocking and hard thing is – I’ve been feeling fatigued like this for a while, but just saw it as quite normal, until now. I’ve been commuting 2.5hrs each way to work for nearly 9 months now, and this tired feeling has slowly snuck up on me. It’s really hard finding a balance between making sure I have my life organised, spending time with my boyfriend and sleeping. I get asked so often how I do it – and I’m not really sure…it’s the choice I have made at this point of my life, so I just need to get it done. Fatigue is different from just being tired…it’s hard to concentrate, “foggy” feeling in the brain, and just a general overall run down feeling.

So what can I do? Apart from try and get more sleep at night (which is going to be difficult) I am now starting that mission to find the answer – will keep you posted.

For now, I’m making sure I’m staying as relaxed as possible, deep breathing, and today at lunch even did some stretching our meeting room floor.

BUT on a happy note my weight is slowly dropping, which is great. It’s such a satisfying feeling knowing I’m treating my body right, and it’s responding in a positive way.

Yesterday:
Bike – 30secs on and 30secs off
Bike – 1min on 30secs off
Dumbell row and over-head press
Walking lunges and 30secs of steps
Finished with 4mins of 20secs on 10secs off on the rowing machine

Tonight:
DEADLIFTS (my fav) – Worked my way up to 120kgs. Did 2 sets x4 and x3
Barbell rows – 40kgs 5 sets of 10
Seated row – not sure how much weight but it was heavy. 3 sets of 8
Single arm row – 25kg dumbells 5 sets of 8

DEAD! But SOOOOOO happy! My fitness seems to be reaching a new level. Which is awesome. I have a love/hate relationship with intervals, but the fitter I seem to be getting, the more I seem to love it. And tonight I loved it.

So as you all know I’ve been working very closely with the amazing Amelia (verde-health.com) who has been helping with my diet. One of the things I’ve really been working on is being conscious of my eating – enjoying the food and really enjoying each new dish I’m eating. I’m actually really enjoying eating new foods and trying new things – it’s a big step for me.

But one thing I do still struggle with is turning down yummy stuff. Candy, biscuits, anything on the “you shouldn’t eat this” list. So I’ve learned a new trick, and it’s working out pretty well. Learn to say less.

So how does “saying less” work? WELL. Previously when I’ve been eating healthy (or on a diet) I’ll live by the principle of saying NO to everything that doesn’t “fit” in the diet, I’ll say no over and over and over again until I can’t do it anymore and I’ll end up eating well over what I should. So now, I’m saying less. Still enjoying those treats but learning to say less and be satisfied with it! We had biscuits in the office the other day, and normally I would say no, no, no, no, ohhhhhhhhh ok…grab a couple, and then suddenly I’ve eaten most of them. But now, I just say less. Have one, enjoy it (thoroughly) and then be done with it. It’s a step in the direction of self-control.

Now self-control is a difficult one, and something I REALLY struggle with. It’s like a switch in my brain just turns off and I just eat everything yummy. Everything I can see. I think by “saying less” I can set myself a limit and enjoy it. Binge eating was a regular event for me… like I’ve said before I would eat every time I felt some sort of emotion: happy, sad, angry, bored… looking back I’m quite impressed at how much I could eat (read emotional eating part 1 and part 2)

Today was pretty hard and it was the first time I felt those food emotions flood back. I had quite a stressful morning which turned into a rather stressful day. My yummy food brain clicked into over drive and I wanted food. Bad food. Now. BUT 100 points to me coz I worked my way through it and rewarded myself with deadlifts. BEST REWARD EVER.