FeckUK Pages

13/12/2013

Anaconda swallows drunk man(?) outside liquor store

No wonder he's hissssing at the onlookers. If the geezer he swallowed was that rat-arsed not to notice his sleeping bag had got fangs and a dislocating jaw, I bet the snake's got a shocker of a hangover, too!

Is it a man-eating anaconda? Or wind?

Okay, it's a good photoshop if it's fake (Is it? Vote in the poll below↓). But we've all been blind drunk enough not to struggle when someone's slipping a warm blanket over us, right?

For this poor drunken bum, I guess he never reckoned on sharing his last bed with the gastro-juices of a 15' anaconda. I mean, who would?

One minute you're propping up a shop doorway with your bottle of Turpentine in a brown paper bag. Next minute, you're talking to something hissy, slimy and serpentine that's only got one thing on its mind. Yeah, we've all been there too, right? (What, never been to Wolverhampton?)

Is it a drunk or the worst case of serpentine constipation ever?

The figure's not decidedly human, but I can't imagine a snake swallowing anything else remotely that size even similar. Too big for a goat. Not small enough for an elephant. They're rarer than drunks in doorways, anyway.

And another thing: how on Earth are they ever going to confirm that it was the wino, anyway? Something tells me there'll be no fingerprints. And what about the guy's teeth? Does the pathologist just wait for the snake to "go" and try and reassemble the dentures?

I mean, you can't blame the anaconda. But you can bet it's gonna be cut open to verify the remains...
...what little there'll be left. How gruesome a job would that be? Nuh, uh! Gimme the job of rebuilding the dentures.

Poor thing. It only popped out for an Indian and look at the fuss it's caused...

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