The Classiest Pirate

August 19, 2008

Joanna M. Hawley is the modern day pirate's best friend. Smelling like the stale perfume of a dockside hooker, brine, and your own filth rarely goes over in the modern business pirate's work environment. Unless you work here, then you can do anything. She's redesigned the wooden leg, ratcheted on some style to the tired, warped, woebegone form of Blackbeard and Davy Jones to give an almost dignified look to those of us that've lost a stem in the course of battle.

By designing a more realistically functional leg with a veneer you'd want to show off rather than conceal in dirty, dirty shame, Joanna has made me want to cut a leg off more than ever before. Which is saying something.

Gone are the days where salt-crusted hearties made their way in this world by the strength in their calloused grip - fueled by rum and savvy, these adventurers of old took what the wanted, then took a little more. The philosophical undercurrents of popularized piracy still run strong, but the surface activity is a little smoother. The classy, class pirate, of modern day boardrooms needs a glossier gewgaw for his prosthesis.