advice

I like to shop. Every single trend that could be found in the stores of a mall was, once upon a time, present in my closet. Even the questionable items. I buy candles for every corner of my room because one is never enough, and I once purchased face cream the price of multiple dinners at Sephora — merely because the make-up artist told me it was nice.

On the other hand, my husband likes to save. You know that thing at the bank called a Saving’s Account? He actually has one. While I scroll through my favourite online stores, he scrolls through his budgeting applications, all while checking on his many investments and stocks; a side hustle he plans to take advantage of during ‘rainy days.’ Frugality is his specialty. Extreme couponing, I think it’s safe to say, is one of his life time goals.

Like other couples, we have very different spending habits. Given this, it’s no surprise that money is the most common topic that couples argue about. A recent survey from the American Institute of CPA’s concluded couples argue at least three times a month about finances. Researchers believe the conflict may stem from failing to discuss money on a regular basis. Fifty-five percent of those surveyed who were married or living with a partner said they don’t regularly set aside time to talk about financial issues.

So, let’s talk.

Take these three steps to avoid the ongoing kerfuffle of choosing between the $14.99 or $19.99 bundle and thank me later.

Communicate. You hear it repeatedly. So why is it so difficult to follow through? Talk to your partner about how you want to handle your finances as a couple, along with any individual expectations that you may have of one another. Discuss whether you want to share any expenses such as utility bills or groceries or if you want control over your own finances. Ensure you go over any debt that either of you have to take care of and that you are transparent when it comes to your purchases. What is the point of buying a car without a discussion if you have to drive around alone because bae is mad at you?

Speak their language. Try using a reference from their favourite TV show and watch how googly their eyes get. Its important to be able to relate to your partner. Get on their level. If they start pricing matching or looking at deals, keep your cool – and let them be. Don’t try to change them and don’t let them try to change you. Habits build over time, making it difficult to break. Instead, take things away and implement them in your daily life. Find the positive aspects to their habits. Think about it; saving up for an emergency prevents either of you from having to get a second job if the time came. Thus, you’ll have more time to spend with each other. Because love.

Have your own savings. Whether you agree to share your finances, contribute to expenses, or manage your own money, always have funds set aside solely for yourself. Although there are many advantages to a joint account, there will always be a reason to have at least one bank account dedicated for your own use. This is especially important if you and your partner are on different financial levels or if you have different spending habits. After merging two lives together, it can be easy to feel a loss of independence. By having something that is solely yours, you can guarantee you still have some control over your life.

Relationships take a lot of work to be successful. It’s about compassion, patience, and compromise. Despite this, you may still find yourselves butting heads with your partner from time to time over things you just can’t seem to agree on. Follow these steps to ensure you spend less time arguing about finances, and more time arguing about things that matter; like which show you want to Netflix binge (and chill). Lastly, don’t forget to give him a kiss when he splurges on you! Your relationship will grow stronger and better because of it.

Michele Romanow is best known for her role as a “Dragon” on CBC’s hit television show Dragon’s Den. Her passion, tenacity, and knack for numbers has made her a driving force on the show — and an investor everyone wants to have backing their team.

What sets Romanow apart from her co-stars is her focus on the individual. If she is going to invest in a business or a company, she wants to get to know the people behind the project.

“I think as tempting as it is to look at the exact business on hand, I inspect the entrepreneurs themselves,” she said in an interview with Women’s Post. “You are looking for someone with a chip on their shoulder. Someone who needs to win. There are so many pivots and turns when you start a business, you want someone who is going to make it work.”

Beyond the “Den”, Romanow is a tech titan and serial entrepreneur who knows how to spot an opportunity. By her 28th birthday, she had already started three different companies across different industries.

She began her career as a civil engineering student at Queen’s University, a tough program that taught her how to problem solve. Romanow had an interest in math and science, but it wasn’t until she helped launch a sustainable, zero consumer waste café on campus that she realized she had a passion for business. Her goal was to convince the administration that her pitch wasn’t about a food service, but rather a sustainability project important to the development of the school. She raised most of the capital herself and the café — called The Tea Room — remains a fixture on campus to this day.

Since then, Romanow has jumped from project to project, solving problems and building new ventures.

“The power that you have [as an entrepreneur] is enormous,” she said. “I think the fun is in solving problems you don’t want to see in your world.”

Her second business was Evandale Caviar, a fishery based in New Brunswick that distributed high-end, Canadian sturgeon caviar to luxury hotels. Unfortunately, the business fell apart in the 2008 recession.

Since then, Romanow has launched a number of incredibly successful businesses. She is the co-founder of Buytopia.ca, Snap by Groupon, and Clearbanc. Clearbanc is Romanow’s most recent venture — an online financial service that makes it easier for entrepreneurs to get capital to grow their own company.

Romanow also helps craft digital solutions for international brands like P&G, Netflix, Starbucks, and Cirque du Soleil. She was a finalist for the EY Entrepreneur of the Year Award; the RBC Canadian Women Entrepreneur Awards; and was a Cartier Women’s Initiative Award global finalist. Romanow is listed as one of the top 100 Most Powerful Women in Canada and was named as one of the Forbes Top 20 Most Disruptive “Millennials on a Mission”.

You would think she is a person who loves to be busy and have numerous things on the go, but Romanow is passionate about her work and doesn’t like to “be busy for the sake of busy”. She would rather get things done and spend her time on something that matters.

In July of 2017, Romanow partnered with Ruma Bose and Richard Branson to launch the Canadian Entrepreneurship Initiative. The goal is to showcase Canadian entrepreneurs and offer assistance to those starting out.

“How do we create more Canadian success stories, especially women,” Romanow asked. “Almost half of Canadians can’t name an entrepreneur they look up to.”

Clearbanc is committing $1 million to finance small businesses and help create those success stories.

In addition to all of these projects, Romanow makes time to mentor women and offer advice to young entrepreneurs. Her biggest piece of advice? Just do it!

“Overplanning can be a detriment,” she said. “My first piece of advice to people is that you have to get started now. Most people think about and analyze businesses for a long time, but it’s important to start to move it. The first idea never ends up being the business that works, but the process allows you to get there.”

I was watching television last night when it started — the parade of weight loss commercials encouraging women to join and lose those 10 pounds. The sheer number of advertisements being pushed on social media is just as disgusting. I can only imagine the affect this has on younger women who are already struggling with their body image.

To be clear, I am not opposed to seeking out aide in weight loss. Some weight loss programs can be incredibly helpful and can offer support to those struggling with their journey. But, these decisions are incredibly personal, and women (and men for that matter) should know there is no such thing as a quick fix. Any program promising you a 10lb loss in one or two weeks is bullshit — which means that most of them are bullshit.

This is the biggest problem with New Years. Most people treat January 1 as a reset, a time to set goals and work towards becoming your “ideal self”. It’s like all of a sudden, people reflect on the worst parts of themselves and try to come up with a plan to change them.

What some fail to realize is that things like the happiness that comes from something like changing your appearance can also come from confidence and acceptance. Instead of focusing on a number on a scale, try to learn something new. Set a goal to run a 5k, learn to skate, or go on a hike every month. Maybe it is something artistic like painting or taking up creative writing? By becoming active in something new, you gain confidence and focus that you can channel to other areas of your life.

It’s also about knowing that you can’t change overnight. If change is really what you want, you have to take it in steps. You need to be content with the journey or else you will become disappointed when you don’t achieve your goals quickly enough. Be kind to yourself. Be confident in your abilities. And know that you are perfect the way you are.

But, if weight loss is your goal for 2018 — and there is nothing I can say to change your mind — here are a few things you need to know:

A program can help, but it is not a magic solution. Do your research and make sure your program does not deprive you of a whole food group and that it works for your lifestyle. Remember that whatever you choose, you must also be able to afford it financially. Many of these programs are not cheap in the long run, despite the New Year discounts available.

A safe and steady weight loss is 1-2 lbs a week. Sometimes, it is less, and that is okay! Remember, it is better to lose slowly than to lose quickly — as most people who do lose weight quickly gain it all back within a year.

Anything with a pill is most likely not good for you. The same goes for any company that insists juices and cleanses that promise you a drop on the scale.

The best way to lose weight is to eat healthier and move your body. Be active. Enjoy life to the fullest.

I am, of course, not an expert. The advice above is from personal experience. Please consult your doctor for more information.

You can’t just snap your fingers and become an established blogger overnight — well, not unless you’re Trump or a Jenner. For us mere commoners, getting paid to do what you love is no easy venture. In turn, most bloggers will simply write for free, satisfied with the sheer notoriety of getting credit for their published work. But, the burning question on everyone’s minds is how to start raking in some green for your words? How do you start?

Many women dream of being like Miranda Priestly, dominating a business empire while wearing the hottest designer pumps. Realistically, however, being a professional blogger is not all that glamorous. Let’s put the fantasies to rest. Here’s how to become a successful entrepreneur online.

Be annoyingly persistent

You may have heard it all before, but never underestimate the power of persistence. Before I began getting hired to blog for brands, I probably went six months looking for work with no avail. So, what did I do? I began voluntarily writing for online magazines to build my experience and portfolio. Eventually, I had collected enough impressive work to showcase for potential clients. But, you must be willing to invest this extra time and energy if you’re serious about blogging as a career.

Join popular blogging platforms

What’s better than making your own website? Joining popular blogging platforms! With established websites like She Knows or Elite Daily, you can submit your work to gain exposure for your blogs. In the early stages, this approach gives you more credibility and authority as a blogger. These platforms also let you link to your personal blog and social media accounts, helping you drive more traffic to your awesome material.

You can even use these sites as your online portfolio if you don’t already have your own website. But if you do decide to create your own, make sure it looks modern and professional. Since it’s essentially a representation of you and your talent, you must make it count! First impressions are everything. And don’t forget to promote your portfolio on social media to further increase its visibility.

Pitch your services

Another promising route to becoming a blogger is learning how to pitch your services. Now, I’ll be honest. This process is very tricky and rarely successful. But at the very least, if you know how to sell your services well, there’s always a chance you’ll get some interested replies.

Next, when you pitch your services, you have to have a niche. Any random schmo with a laptop can pitch themselves as a “blogger”, but if you’ve got a specific area of expertise, you’ll be more desirable to clients. For example, maybe you’re an organic food blogger; you can cater your services to organic grocery stores and related businesses. You’ll get much farther when your present yourself as a specific type of blogger.

Don’t reach out to the biggest businesses right away. Remember that at the beginning, you’re just a tiny entrepreneurial fish in a sea of blogging barracudas — sorry. So instead, reach out to mid-range businesses who are not as heavily swamped with thousands of pitch emails. You’ll have a better chance at getting noticed and hired for your services.

Use LinkedIn like crazy

Pledge your loyalty to LinkedIn and never look back. While most people go gaga for Instagram and Snapchat, focus your energy on LinkedIn as if it’s your main source of social media. Recruiters are constantly scoping LinkedIn to find fresh talent. Plus, there’s always people with startup companies looking to collaborate with bloggers they find on LinkedIn. My first big client actually found me through LinkedIn, so I genuinely can confirm it works!

Ready to begin to become Canada’s next top blogger? Best of luck everyone!

Collected Tarts and Other Indelicacies is an anthology of witty, thought provoking, and endearing columns by Tabatha Southey, a modest and humble human being with a spirited imagination that lends itself to powerfully funny writing. Each column, from the very first one published in 1999 to the last one in May 2017, will make the reader laugh, reflect, and maybe ponder the meaning of the word underwear.

Southey’s smart wit is what makes her writing so appealing. An avid reader herself, she does not underestimate her readers. No topic is too complicated, and if it is, she throws in a story about a monkey to lighten the load. She tackles each piece all with grace and humour — and perhaps an animal or two.

Southey has written columns for Elle Canada, The Walrus, Maclean’s Magazine, and of course, the Globe and Mail, where she held a long-standing position as a weeklycolumnist until earlier this month. On Aug. 31, both Southey and another female writer were let go after the newspaper underwent an overhaul.

“It was an honour to have a tiny little voice in a national conversation,” she said of the Globe’s decision. “I will miss my readers and I hope they follow me elsewhere.”

What makes Southey so successful as a columnist isn’t her animal-centric plotlines or her slightly sexual sense of humour (although they do help). It’s her loyal fan base — readers she admires as much as they admire her. “I love hearing from all parts of Canada,” she said. “I hear from guys in the military and people in small towns, and if its one thing that kept me at the column, it was hearing from readers.”

Her new book — to be launched on Sept. 30 — is a nod to those readers. It showcases a number of fan-favourites as well as Southey’s most thought-provoking and fun pieces. The book, Southey said, actually went long. “I thought, let’s put a variety in there. It would be a shame if someone got the book and something they really liked wasn’t in there.”

Every once in a while, Southey will include a few tidbits of information prior to the column, either to provide context or to recite a funny anecdote about how the piece came to be. She is candid about her experience as a writer, but still manages not to make herself the focus of the narrative. Through her columns, she tackles finances, business, politics, and even tells a harrowing story about what it’s like to shop for a bra. There is, as she says, something for everyone to enjoy.

You can purchase a copy of Collected Tarts and Other Indelicacies here.

After reading her book, Women’s Post spoke with Southey in detail about the future of satire writing, a columnist’s grind, and advice for young female writers:

Q: What was it like to review your work from 1998 to now?

A: It’s good because it forces you to go back and see what you did, and the pieces certainly got longer. I honestly enjoyed doing it. Does that sound vain? That I enjoyed reading my own work?

You’ve mentioned the grind of writing a column every single week. Has there been a time you were stuck?

Every week! Every week I’m like “That’s it. I’m done. I can’t!” Almost every week! I filed with the Globe on Thursday morning, sometimes the afternoon if it’s a story that was still developing. You never stop reading the news and thinking and you are always kind of hoping you will get an idea or a lead. If you don’t have an idea or a clue when you go to bed Tuesday night you don’t really sleep. My mother says “I know not to phone you from Tuesday to Thursday afternoon.” Every week I’m in a panic. There is no dinner cooked on Wednesdays.

Are readers still drawn to satire within news publications? Will we see more or less of it in the future?

I think it’s a golden age. A lot of people are doing great political comedy. I think political humour is cathartic and it motivates. I don’t think it’s going anywhere. In fact, I love seeing the Beaverton, which is doing great work here in Canada. I think they are knocking it out of the park and I’m very glad to see that. It’s so great they have that venue and a clear voice. The Internet makes it all possible.

What advice would you give to young women who want to become column writers?

I would say read a lot. And I think there is a trap that women columnists are easily led in to, which is to constantly write about being a woman…. especially if you are a woman and you have a tragedy to tell. There will always be a market for that. I think that’s a dead end.

My advice is to learn about one thing and learn everything there is about that one thing. It doesn’t really matter what that one thing is. It can be politics, it can be vintage cars, [or] it can be wine. Go and learn it and be the person that people call when there is a controversy. Be that person that people want their opinion. It doesn’t mean you can’t write about other things. That is my advice. Do not Sex in the City it up.

Do you think there is still a gap in terms of gender in the newsroom? Are there enough female writers?

No. There aren’t enough women in almost every profession. I do feel that women are brought in sometimes to bring in a woman’s perspective and not to tread in to other categories. I’m a woman writer and the number of times I’ve heard people say “she needs to goback to writing in the style section” – now there is nothing at all wrong with writing for the style section. Great, do it! But that’s not where I come from and that is the assumption that will be made. So I think there is still ground to be broken.

I think in general what gives you the right to have an opinion is a question that is asked more of women than it is asked of men. I feel that a woman’s opinion, especially if it’s quite surgically spoken, by which I mean well argued, is sometimes met with hostility.

What kind of books do you enjoy reading?

I will read the nerdiest books ever. I read a book about a giant hedge. I like those [books that] take one topic and use it as a thread to go through history to learn something.

What’s next for you?

I am looking into other things. I have to say that people have been great about getting in touch with me and I’m going to make a decision fairly shortly.

Christine Blanchette loves to run, so much so that she transformed that passion into a career.

Run With It is a local television program on Novus TV’s Community Channel via Shaw Media. Blanchette is the host and explores Metro Vancouver’s vibrant running scene. She interviews athletes, provides nutrition and wellness advice, and showcases a number of trails in and around British Columbia. In her free time, Blanchette writes for a few other publications, including Women’s Post!

Run With It is regarded as BC’s only running, fitness, and health shows. Women’s Post sat down with Blanchette to find out how Run With It started and where she wants to be in another five years!

Q: How did Run With It start?

A: I always had a passion for running and thought it would be great to have a show on running, fitness and health. My producer friend Doug Lucas suggested I send him my show idea, and we then put together a proposal and a pilot to submit to Shaw. It was accepted and the show first aired in 2013.

Why local cable – it’s a form of broadcast that seems to be disappearing?

Shaw was accepting show proposals and it would be great to have air first on cable. I believe we still need both traditional [broadcast] and social media to engage our audience or viewers.

Your show has been around for five years – what has changed since you started? What have you learned?

The TV landscape has changed in that fewer people are watching TV. YouTube has become more popular or building your show online seems to be the best to attract viewers or subscribers.

Who has been your favourite person to interview?

That is a good question. There are so many, but I would have to say international recording artist Bif Naked. She is engaging and a delightful person.

What’s your background? What did you do prior to Run With It?

I have been in broadcasting prior to 2013. I used to be a live host [and do] half hours interviews for a show called WestSide profile on Rogers TV. I’ve done freelance hosting and was also a production assistant. I did that for about 10 years. I also studied at BCIT part-time in the evenings.

What advice do you have for women who may not be super fit, who are thinking of taking up running this summer?

I think the key is to see your doctor first before starting to run. Find a program that will allow you to [transition] your running, like an interval walking-running program.

What are your hopes for the next five years?

My hopes are to keep building my show and have my show on network television.

March 8 is International Women’s Day. During this time, it’s easy to think back to all of the trials and tribulations women have experienced. Just last week, there was a tragic case in Halifax in which the victim of sexual assault was wronged thanks to an outdated definition of consent. There has been a large investigation into “unfounded” sexual assault cases by the Canadian police. And of course, there is the incredible sexism women are facing in the United States from their own politicians.

No, Women’s Post is not going to focus on that this March 8 (at least, not too much). Instead, Women’s Post is choosing to celebrate this important day by speaking with successful business women, gathering their advice for other women, and learning about who they invest in. Here is a teaser with some of the results:

One thing is clear, Patrick Moote doesn’t have a lot of embarrassment left. After proposing to his girlfriend on a jumbotron at a sporting event and being turned down, being the subject of a documentary about small penises wouldn’t seem all that mortifying. The trailer for the film, Unhung Hero, follows protagonist Moote as he speaks to women, experts, and medical professionals about penis size.

His girlfriend turned him down apparently because he was lacking in the pants. While this is an awful reason to break up with someone, it has gotten under his skin to the point where he and film maker Brian Spitz traveled the world to find out the answer to the age old question: does size really matter?

Tomorrow is our anniversary and I can’t help my desire to scream, “We made it!” at the top of my lungs. This is my first anniversary since the Big Ex in 2009 and the differences between then and now are staggering: four years ago I was afraid to tell the Big Ex that I loved him, four years ago on our anniversary the Big Ex was on a date with another woman and four years ago I couldn’t have told you that I was happy even if I thought I might have been.

Tomorrow Boyfriend and I are going for dinner and a movie, we’ll exchange gifts and we’ll fall asleep in what I can only assume will be a sweaty tangled mess. But the biggest difference of all is that I’m not afraid; I’m not afraid that making a big deal out of an anniversary will scare him off, I’m not afraid to tell him how much I love him and I’m not afraid to enjoy myself on a day that is meant to be enjoyed.

We’ve been through a lot this year: my mum’s illness, my work issues, the loss of his grandfather and six months of trying to figure out why I can barely keep food down. At this point we’ve been through some of the worst parts of life together and we’ve managed to come out smiling. I have never known the kind of support that I get from Boyfriend. As an adult child of divorce I’ve barely seen this kind of support outside of movies and TV shows; to be honest I didn’t even know that this kind of love was real, I just assumed that writers and directors were just really talented at creating loving worlds on paper and screen.

But after a year of experiencing love first hand I’ve come to realize that it isn’t all a fantasy, it takes a lot of work, a lot of practice and a lot of honesty. You have to be ready to share yourself fully, your fears, hopes, dreams and even (especially) the things you hate about yourself. Relationships aren’t easy, that was the part the writers got wrong, a big gesture won’t fix everything, there is no quick fix when things go wrong and you’ve got to really love yourself before anyone can love you. Some days I think it would be easier to walk through the world alone, as it’s a lot easier to lie to myself when the days get tough than it is to lie to Boyfriend.

But in the end finding someone who loves and appreciates you because of, not in spite of, your weird little quirks is the best feeling in the world. So what if I never wear matching socks or if I set my alarm clock in intervals of three or if I insist on calling penguins “pengins”? It’s all part of who I am and he loves me.

I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life and I hope that this is just the first of many more anniversaries.

How much changes after 35 years — and how much stays the same?

I never forgot my childhood crush. Over the years through dead-end relationships and dating disasters, I would go back to that comforting place in grade four and wonder about the cute boy who captured my attention and still held a special place in my memory.

The fantasy of reconnecting years later often presented itself in my mind. What was he doing now? Would he remember me?

Truthfully, I wasn’t even sure that we wouldn’t pass each other on the street and feel a twinge of familiarity but just keep walking. After all, grade four kids are only nine years old. How much connecting could we really do at that age, I thought.

But suddenly, there was a chance encounter at Tim Horton’s with my grade four teacher. There she was, timeless and preserved as if it were still 1977. As I said hello, the memories came flooding back to me and I immediately went home to fish out the class photo that was carefully protected behind a plastic sheet in an ancient photo album. My crush was as cute as ever, as he stood posing with the group. It was perfect for a Facebook post.

Although we weren’t children of technology, many of us born in the late 60s have adopted the habit of sitting behind a computer or phone to connect with our past. Many of my classmates from elementary school who were on my friend list flooded the photo with comments. Then suddenly, there he was. On someone else’s friend list.

I sent the friend request. Would he remember? Butterflies in my stomach. I attached a little note to ask.

The response was immediate. Are you kidding, he said. Of course I remember you! I always thought about you over the years.

It turned out that he lived in New York City and pictures indicated a lovely family of his own. He was doing well.

We exchanged the usual promises to meet up one day for a coffee. But we were hundreds of miles apart and we hadn’t talked for 35 years. They were nice thoughts and I filed them away.

One year later, a trip to New York City presented itself. So I contacted my grade four crush. The coffee meeting was possible. Was he up for it?

Yes indeed. An exchange of cell phone numbers and a promise to touch base was made. Truthfully, I still wasn’t sure it would happen. But from my hotel room in New York, I sent the text, proposing a time. A response suggested a place – Times Square. It was confirmed.

I walked through the busy streets of New York City on a cool spring day and suddenly, in the middle of Times Square, there he was – my grade four crush. We stood there for a minute among the hustle of the city and looked at each other and smiled.

Over Starbucks, we talked as if three decades hadn’t passed by. We reminisced about our grade four teacher and classmates, and we discussed his move to another school all too suddenly. He cried, he confessed. He was sad that he would not see me again.

I stared. You did? I asked.

He continued to reveal details of our friendship –details that I didn’t remember. We used to lay stomach down on the carpet side by side and read stories to one another, he recalled. He used to tell his mom about me.

I tried to recall those memories but my own told me that he was the cutest boy in the class and I had a crush on him, as did many of the other girls. 35 years later, I learn that I was the one he was most fond of. More importantly, I find out that nine year olds can make connections that last a lifetime.

We chatted for the afternoon and he walked me to a street that would take me to my hotel again. We promised to keep in touch and parted ways.

That was over a year ago and we continue to connect on Facebook. His emails make me smile and he checks up to see how I’m doing from time to time, with offers to talk when life throws a curve ball.

I’m happy that he’s found a love that keeps his heart full. He’s no longer my crush, but a bond that began in elementary school, lasted through decades of distance and came back, familiar and comforting as if we had shared stories on that carpet, in the second floor of that old school building, just a few weeks ago.

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The Women's Post is a social enterprise designed to promote women and their initiatives across Canada. Our readers are mid- to high-income professional women with interests in business, politics, design, sustainability, and travel. womenspost.ca has a strong community and provides a platform for women needing exposure and encouragement.