Awkward office moments are synonymous with first world problems. Have a taster and live vicariously if you aren’t in that place (yet).

Awkward office moments “Bless you”

Who is the one to say ‘bless you’ if someone sneezes? If you do it once, you’ve committed to it all day. If you stop half-way you seem half-hearted. What if that person relies on your ‘bless you’? What about those sneeze attacks? How many times do you say it then? Exactly. Don’t commit. Just Don’t.

Crunchy food

Think biscuits or an apple. Now consider a quiet environment. Now imagine someone biting into one of these and it basically echoing throughout the room. So you try to bite slower which doesn’t help or take smaller bites which also doesn’t help. You become very aware of your jaw and to your horror, you make accidental eye contact with a stranger. You lower your apple and give up.

Elevators

Standing in the elevator thinking you pressed the button not realising you haven’t moved in minutes because you are busy checking yourself out in the mirror. Having people come in, surprised to see someone in a non-moving elevator doing nothing to change that. They are worse then tubes.

Toilet Breaks

Offices are boring. You only get an hour lunch. Unless you smoke (which made me want to take it up) you can’t have more than that one break. So you make do with toilet breaks. The issue? What if people think there is something wrong with you because you hit the loo every hour?

Working the coffee maker

I can’t work that thing out. So when I want to go make a cuppa, I politely ask if someone wants a drink too and hope against hope that I get a chorus of noes, because I cannot work that damn thing. The Kettle is cool. The kettle works. Don’t ask me to make you an espresso, I’ll have to leave the building and buy one from the nearest Starbucks and ask for my money back.

Boss?

You don’t actually know who your boss is. Is it the person who interviewed you? The guy who sits in front of you? Is it someone who never comes in? You need to know so you know when you can pull your phone out and procrastinate.