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Six things that bother me in Superman II

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

1. Louis Lane finally figures out who Clark really is at Niagara Falls. Not when Clark disappears and Superman appears to save a boy who is going over the falls. Not by hurling herself into the Niagara River. No, she figures it out when he trips and falls into the fire in their hotel room.

He is Superman. You would assume that he would be pretty graceful. Sure Clark is clumsy, but Kal El is just pretending to be clumsy. So when he doesn't need to go to the hospital for third degree burns, she suddenly figures all out. Oh wait, she doesn't until Clark admits he is Superman.

A genius at seeing the obvious

2. Lex Luthor figures out where Superman's Fortress of Solitude is because he always flies North or some such thing. No one else noticed this? Satellites don't fly over the North Pole? Superman doesn't show up on radar? Lex Luthor, super genius, is the only person who figures this out. As for the magic holographic projector, apparently made from random parts he found in prison, the less we discuss it the better off we will be.

After this kiss, you will be
fooled by my glasses again

3. The Magic Kiss. Over the years Supermans abilities have increased, but he can erase your memory by kissing you? This raises an interesting question. After he and Louis call it quits, he erases her memory. Did he let Lex Luthor remember where the Fortress of Solitude was?

4. Superman falls in love. He decides he is going to become a human, so he has a machine that takes away his powers. For Louis. Against his artificial intelligence mother's wishes. I don't understand any of this. One, Superman must be celibate? If he wants to get laid, he can't be super? I mean, I guess there could be good reasons for this.

Why would there even be a machine like this? And how did he reverse it so quickly? Everything in the North Pole confuses me.

Supes says, enjoy that
smooth flavor kids

5. Blatant product placement. Coca Cola is bad enough, Marlboro? Cigarettes in a kids movie? I guess truth, justice & the American are trumped by good old fashioned capitalism.

6. After Supes loses his powers, some random bully in a diner in, let's say, Maine beats him up. After getting his powers back and getting Louis and Lex home (and erasing their memories) he goes back to the diner in Maine and lays some super powered smack down on that dude's hick ass. So the lesson is, bullies are bad, unless you can beat them up yourself, then, by all means beat the crap out of them. What a great message for the children of the world, Superman.

1 comment
:

In regards to number 5, I thought capitalism and blatant advertising WERE the American Way!

Also, Superman can do anything. I mean, he turns back time by flying really fast around the earth in the first movie. Though the fact that Lois never learns his identity until he tells her is just extra baffling. I mean, just how ignorant is everyone at the Daily Planet? They see Clark Kent every day, as well as Superman in their headlines, and not once did anyone even suggest "Hey, Clark looks like superman with glasses!"

Despite this article and everything I just said, this movie is still awesome though.