Bad Mommies are the Only Ones Worth Knowing

If you’re like me you’ve met a perfect mother. She’s infallible, never curses, never raises her voice, always cooks a healthy dinner and scares the snot outta ya. Why? Because it’s untenable.

We all know that Perfect Mommy will snap, and when she does I don’t want to be there. Besides the loneliness of having infant children I suspect that the secret badness of the Mommy business is what brings us to our computers.

Recently I visited a siblingcousinfamily member friend (who wishes to remain anonymous) and we were driving with my two kids and her four year old daughter in the back seat. She got this Cheshire Cat grin on her face and said, “Wanna see something funny?”

“Uh, okay?” I was hesitant.

As she beeped the horn twice a tiny voice came out of the back seat, “MotherFucker!”

“Oh. My. Goodness.” I was hysterical, “Do it again!”

Beep went the horn, “MotherFucker” went the toddler, completely deadpan.

At that moment I couldn’t have loved my friend any more. I’ve never seen her without lipstick and powder. I’ve certainly never seen a mess in her home, come to think of it I’ve never heard her raise her voice. But my dear friend is human and apparently she drives around her hometown honking the horn and yelling MotherFucker.

What is magnificent about the car cursing story isn’t just the humor of it all. It’s a mother, willing to be bad. She knows her four year old shouldn’t do that, but she was willing to share her flaws with us. It was funny, but they aren’t always funny.

There was the time that my son was newborn and my daughter wanted to pretend shave. She was three. I was tired so I handed her a disposable razor and told her to keep the cap on. I’ve spent up to 45 minutes of a soccer practice teaching nine year old girls how to shove back without getting the referees attention. Good parenting? Meh. Good coaching, certainly.

My son knows that he’ll never get in trouble for punching back. I’m flawed, deeply. Just like you.

Some of the best Mommy Bloggers are compelling because of their willingness to share their flaws. Are they bad mothers? I think not.