​Okay it is 5.24am here and I have been awake since 3am(ish). I woke up feeling a bit uneasy so I turned on one of my favourite songs “Return to Innocence” by Enigma. I remember it was my friend Okey who introduced me to the song back then in Nigeria when I used to sell customised CDs and Laptops to “office people”. I must have been in my Undergrad Year 4 then (This “hustle” life has been me since time immemorial). Anyway, so I turned on the music and even though I have listened to this song countless of times, I was still struck by this part, “Don’t be afraid to be weak, don’t be too proud to be strong , just look into your heart my friend, that would be the return to yourself, a return to Innocence” and I sat back for a second or two and pondered.
A return to Innocence is a return to yourself, a return to who you have always wanted to be, a return to what you have always wanted to do with your life. I don’t have enough words to explain the lack of peace I felt throughout those years when I listened to noise from various sources including society about who I’m supposed to be or what I’m supposed to do, but my friends, if you are in anything or endeavour (I don’t care what it is) that does not give you peace you need to start the process of returning to yourself because life is too short to be living someone else’s life.
I actually told myself I wasn’t going to do a long post today but maybe someone out there needs this extra push to finally take that leap of faith to return to themselves.
I wish you a fulfilling weekend. Be good people 😘😘😘
Love,

Chika.
Ps: my new Book, Boss Bible is out if you are needing a bit more motivation, the link is in my bio or just type “Boss Bible” into Amazon. There is more where this came from. 😊😊😊😊

Hello and Happy New Year. I know I am more than a bit late considering that we are almost half-way into January but like they say, better late than never aye? I hope you all had awesome Christmas breaks if you can still remember it, lol!

I have some exciting news from this end. I have been working really hard on my next book which is scheduled to be published in July this year so I have become a bit of a night owl to meet this deadline.

To celebrate the New Year and the future release of my new novel, I have decided to make 3 chapters of Twisted in a Positive Way completely free!!! Awesome right? I think so too. To get the free chapters and other exclusive content such as free copies of my novel, sample chapters from my new releases in addition to other cool stuff, just sign up to my mailing list here. I promise I won’t crowd your mailboxes with junk.

If you just want to download the free chapters of Twisted in a Positive Way without signing up to my mailing list, click here to get for free on Okada Books

Okay, over to today’s post:

I have spent a lot of time thinking about the habits that differentiate successful people from regular people. What do they do that gives them the extra edge over the rest of us? My search has led me to listen to a number of interviews featuring some people I really admire. It was through this search that I stumbled upon an article written by By Samantha Thornhill which lists 20 daily rituals of the most badass women. It is important to point out that even though this post refers to badass women, the rituals are not limited to only females and can be practised by anyone despite their gender. I have listed 10 of them below: Ps: I liked number 7 the most.

1. Watch the sunrise

Not literally, but maybe. Most successful women are up by 6 a.m. Business leaders are said to accomplish more in those early hours than the average person does in days. This means getting to bed early too, since sleep deprivation went out of style along with shoulder pads.

2. Have gratitude

We so easily forget what a miracle it is to be alive. Let each day birth you into a state of gratitude for the day ahead, and give thanks for everything that you have.

3. Imbibe

Coffee, green juice, green tea, rooibos, chai, smoothies, hot chocolate, water with lemon, wine, whatever. Without exception, every badass woman alive begins or ends her day with a drink. (I personally drink green tea. It tastes absolutely yucky but it is filled with anti-oxidants which are very good for you.)

4. To-do list, check

Walking through the day in your mind or writing a list of things you hope to accomplish is incredibly centering, and it’s so gratifying to cross things off as you go along (I can vouch for this one. It truly works wonders).

5. Be mindful

Artist and social entrepreneur Rha Goddess tells “Gala” that she sees personal transformation everywhere: “In every interaction. Every conversation. Every intention. If we’re awake we recognize we have the opportunity – every single moment of the day – to heal, transform or affirm something about the truth of who we are, and what we say is important,” she states.

6. Just like water

Swim. Drink eight glasses. Splash it on your face. Dunk your weary bones in a full tub with Epsom salts. Have an ongoing love affair with our world’s most precious resource.

7. Position yourself

Arianna Huffington, who champions 7-8 hours of sleep a night, wouldn’t be much good to anybody if she didn’t poise herself for the bustling day ahead. She tells Soulcyle: “A big part of my morning ritual is about what I don’t do: when I wake up, I don’t start the day by looking at my smartphone. Instead, once I’m awake, I take a minute to breathe deeply, be grateful, and set my intention for the day. ” (Awesome right?)

8 Get energetic

Most of us will not spend two hours a day working out like Gwyneth Paltrow, but no matter when we get it in, anywhere between 15-45 minutes of exercise a day releases stress and clears the dome…and let’s not forget to stretch! The world’s most successful women get their best ideas during exercise or right after.

9. Be promiscuous with books

According to the “Los Angeles Times,” reading on your cell phone or iPad before bed can affect sleep habits by sending signals to the brain to stay alert. Lena Dunham says she keeps a stack of books by the bed. Fall asleep reading.

10. Plug out

If you are the type to fall asleep face first on a glowing screen, it’s good for the soul to plug out sometime—even if it’s just to put your phone to bed along with you.

I hope you enjoyed reading through the list and picked up some tips from it. Which of them did you find that you already practice and which ones you plan to take up? To read the full list from femde.com, click here

December is finally here! I can’t believe that it has been almost 5 months since I wrote my last blog post. “Where has all the time gone?” I keep asking myself.
You would remember in my last post I wrote about the crowdfunding campaign for my new novel, “Twisted in a Positive Way”. The campaign was successful and even though I didn’t hit my funding target, through the campaign, I was able to generate a lot of publicity and interest for it. It was finally published and is available for purchase on Amazon in both kindle and paperback format in the UK click here to buy, and the US click here to buy .

I would like to use this opportunity to say thank you once again to everyone who pre-ordered and spread the word on the campaign. I am humbled by all the feedback I have received so far. One of the funniest feedback I received was from a reader who said that she was quite cross with herself for leaving the book at home for one day and couldn’t wait to get home to continue from where she stopped.
If you have read the novel, please feel free to leave a review on Amazon website stating that you purchased the book through the crowdfunding campaign by clicking here.
Moving away from the subject of my novel, I had a discussion earlier this week with my friend who I would call John. Let me tell you a little bit about John.

John is a nice guy, has a good job working in one of the essential services here in England. He earns a very decent salary, has a nice two bedroom house and drives a good car. To everyone, John lives a comfortable life.
In reality, John is not a happy man because he feels he is overweight. This feeling has affected his ability to speak to women and has caused him to lose his confidence because he feels that they would not find him attractive on account of his weight.
Now, in the time I have known John, I have never really noticed the extra pounds. All I see is a nice, funny, hardworking and blessed young man.

When I got home that night, after my meeting with my friend, I pondered how we humans seem to constantly be obsessed with our idea of perfection. Like John, we think about the things we feel are not perfect in our lives and end up forgetting all the wonderful things we have going for us.

The TV and print media have not helped with this, every day we are bombarded with photo shopped bodies and filtered images subtly telling us what we should look like. Even when we are not are not trying to look like the models and characters on TV, we find ourselves sometimes comparing ourselves to our friends and colleagues.

Thinking about this reminded me of a story I heard years ago. A young man had sought a job for months and finally he got his dream job with the exact pay he wanted and was so happy. He called all his friends and told them of his news and they all congratulated him. He continued in this state of happiness until he spoke to one particular friend. This friend like others, congratulated him and asked him how much he was to be paid. Out of curiousity, he too asked his friend what his salary was. After the phone call, his mood changed because he realised that his friend was making more than him. The fact that he had sought this job for months did not seem to matter. He was no longer happy about it.

Perhaps it is time to stop this neurosis and start recognising all the numerous blessings we have. Whenever you find yourself thinking those gloomy thoughts, consciously stop yourself and instead, think of three things in your life which you are thankful for and dwell on those things instead. They may not be massive things. You could even be thankful for the nice cup of tea you just had, knowing that someone out there is craving for just that and cannot get it. Perhaps you could be thankful for the fact that you just had a nice hot meal knowing that someone out there would gladly swap places with you if they had the opportunity.
Now, I am not saying that you should adopt a lackadaisical attitude to life and not seek self-development and improvement, what I am saying is that it is better to take these steps towards improvement from a place of gratitude having it at the back of your mind that there is no such a thing as perfection.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave your comments. I look forward to reading them.
Love,
Chika

Like this:

I woke up about an hour ago, 0530 my time after about 8 hours of sleep. Last night’s sleep was one of those rare nights where I slept for more than 5 hours.

I have found that my life has been so fast paced these past few months, probably because of the work I do and a couple of other personal projects I have embarked on, one of which I would announce when the time is right.

So I woke up, first thing I did after stretching endlessly was to bring out my phone, checked my messages and emails, wrote out my to do list and toggled on to Spotify. I thought about what song would be perfect for a relatively lazy saturday and decided to listen to “He lives in you” by Lebo M. I don’t know how many of you know about the song but it was one of the sound tracks of Walt Disney’s “The Lion King”.

Now this song may not sound too special for those who have watched the movie. I myself watched it every Christmas as a kid. I remember those days, my cousins and I would sit in the large sitting room of my Uncle’s house in the village and watch the Lion King. No matter how many times we watched it back then, we just could not get enough of the cartoon.

So here I was listening to a song I was not unaware of but the difference between when I used to listen to it as a kid and this morning was I opened my heart to the message within the song and I must say it was glorious. When the song finished, I put it on repeat and felt a wave of inspiration hit me.

As I continued to listen, I began to consider how much we miss, how much beauty, inspiration, opportunities to receive and give love we miss because we are all so busy.

At this point, the song had finished playing and it was starting again, my eyes went to the purple orchid sitting in its white vase on my window. The orchid in itself requires little water to blossom. It is one of the most low maintenance plants I know of, yet it remains a source of beauty, a lesson in beauty even in imperfect conditions.

I began to consider other everyday living things like the ant which depending on where you live, could be a source of nuisance. However even ants, as little as they are, teach us lessons on hard work, cooperation and most of all strength in unity. If you have ever watched ants attack and move a piece of sugar, you would know what I am talking about.

As I thought about this, my eyes spotted some soil on my boots which now left a little brown stain on my cream coloured rug. On a regular day, I would have been cross at the prospect of having to clean the stain off my rug but now, in this moment I considered that this soil was a part of a larger collection of soil whose purpose was to provide food for humans, along with thousands of living creatures all over the world.

I had a few other thoughts which I would not like to bore you with but my point is, you can experience a more positive and fulfilling life when you open your heart to all the beauty and lessons around us. We normally miss these sources of inspiration because we are either too busy or too focused on our problems.

I have always been a firm believer that one those not have to wait till a special day in the week to go to a special holy place to receive inspiration or answers to life questions. Sometimes the answers we seek are and have always been all around us.

Like this:

I know that a number of people who come across this title would wonder what I mean by the title. Years ago, I read the book, “Retire Young Retire Rich” by Robert Kiyosaki where came across the concept.

This has to do with the kind of words we say to ourselves. I found out that when one makes a statement such as “I can never have enough money” or “I can never be rich” or “I can never be happy” that these statements are actually lies because they are not based on actual facts. They have not been to the future to confirm that they can never be those things, so basically, they are lying.

This same principle applies to a situation where one makes a statement such as “I will be very rich in future” or “I will pass my exams” or “I will be happily married”. They have also lied.

However, the truth is that anything you say about yourself will eventually become a reality in future. This means that these lies you tell about yourself, if told over a long enough period of time, would eventually come true. This is because those words are planted in your mind and begin to affect your actions and your future is a result of your actions based on the words you have spoken to your mind.

So when one makes a statement such as “I cannot have enough money”, what happens is that the person’s mind picks up the message of poverty and transmits it to the brain and it sits there, such that when an opportunity to make money arises, the mind shuts off itself from this opportunity thus causing the person to remain at that same level of poverty or perceived lack of prosperity.

The same applies to when a person makes a positive statement such as, “I will be very rich”, the person’s mind picks up the message and the brain continues to work out ways for the person to become rich such that when an opportunity to make money arises, the brain immediately picks it up and the person takes advantage of the opportunity.

Taking all these into consideration, I believe that it makes a bit more sense for me to live a great life which has come about through the telling of positive lies I have told in the past about my future than to have a life filled with pain and sadness as a result of negative lies I may have spoken into my future.

I am not saying that telling lies with the intent to deceive is good, but when it comes to our future, we should watch the words we use because our words do become a reality.

Just as Christians believe that the world was created through spoken word, we as humans have this immense power in our spoken word because we are a product of the superior intelligence that created the world.

Telling great lies in practice is very easy and costs very little, if anything. However, its benefits are amazing as it helps to shape our future and keeps us in a great mood.

So my advice is this, next time you feel down and negative thoughts fill your mind, just watch yourself and spot when those negative lies are about to pop out of your mouth. Stop yourself and consciously choose instead to speak positively.

Make positive speaking a habit and watch your life and your outlook about life change for the better.