About Me

I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

TUESDAY #2864

Hero? You want a hero?This is Aitzaz Hasan.He was a 15 year old teen who tackled a suicide bomber entering his school. He sadly died because of it, but he saved hundreds of lives. Never forget his heroism.>I am not black. I was not raised with the stories of lynchings from my grandfather and thus have no right to speak for them. But they need to choose their battles very carefully.>

>Mixed feelings about this now.>SPORTS Sunday night I had the misfortune of watching one of the biggest clusterfucks in football history.Two pretty good team could only score one field goal each in a whole game, then one one each in overtime to yield a 6-6 tie. disgusting.

But then my Cubs fought their way into the Worlds Series. Me and Mr. Murray are overjoyed.One of my best and oldest friends moved from England to Chicago right after WWII and immediately became a Cubs fan. I caught the fever from him, and by god he deserves a series win after all those decades of misery.This next image says it all...

>We all all "under the weather" unless we are astronauts in orbit.

>PHOTOGRAPHY

Please don't tell me if either of these first two images are manipulated.

>THE SHOD FEMALE

And the all time winner of Greatest Shod Female Foot of all time...The nail polish is a nice touch.

>THINGS THAT ARE PROBABLY ART WORKSAnd, yes, I do consider that a work of art.

>Marriage is just deciding if you like a person more than being lonely, then choosing wrong.

> A FEW DAMN GOOD IDEASYeah, that's probably a good skill to have if you have to hang both hammocks from the only two trees in the forrest.

I. Never. Knew. That.And, illogically, I've used that very trick with oil cans for years.

You may not understand this if you've never been a parent...

Possibly the most German, over engineered contraption ever.

A bird-in-the-nest eggs/cheese toast combination.

>I said Hi to a young woman at my bar. She said, "I've already swiped left on you, leave me alone creep."> PRANKS INVOLVING BLOOD DONE RIGHT

PRANKS INVOLVING BLOOD DONE VERY WRONG

>And now it is time for another game of What Happens Next?A. She will bust her ass on the first step.B. She will bust her ass on the second step.C. She will bust her ass on the third step.D. She gets an ostrich up her ass.

>Project Soli is a tiny chip that uses radar to detect discreet hand and finger motions. It was designed as a unique way to interact with mobile devices, but students found a way to use the simple chip to give electronics an actual sense of touch.

Please don't tell me that the robot is wired up to a live human like that other one.

> On the list of things I've learned today:1. You're not allowed to bark at a police dog2. Pepper spray recovery time is 37 minutes

>The oldest human to have ever lived died at the age of 122 - and that was nearly 20 years ago. A recent analysis of global demographic data suggests this may very well be the maximum age attainable by humans, and that it's extremely unlikely anyone will ever live much beyond this advanced age.(Note dips during world wars)Well, shit.

>A. She will bust her ass on the first step.

>A small under water explosion at 120,000 FPS.I have a theory. You see that secondary explosion as the cavity collapses? I think that is caused by compression, like a diesel truck or those fire starters.

>My wife took me to the all natural vegan restaurant she frequents. Then made the mistake of asking how I liked it.

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The Catacombs of Odessa

Underneath the city of Odessa, in Ukraine, is an extensive network of tunnels believed to be the largest catacomb system in the world. Largely unmapped and spread haphazardly under the city, the huge maze of underground passages extends for over 2,500 kilometers. If it were laid out in a straight line the tunnels would reach all the way to Paris.When Catherine the Great ordered this new port city to be built by the sea, an incredible amount of mining took place to extract limestone to build the city above ground. The tunnels were dug more than a hundred feet below ground on three different levels. New shafts were created whenever old ones ran out of limestone, and it was through this process an intricate web of tunnels began to take shape.

Now think back on the tunnel people of Las Vegas that I posted weeks ago...the homeless ones who take shelter in the huge storm drains. Well, you would think somebody could come up with something to use those tunnels for.

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The tiger and the lion may be fierce, but the wolf does not perform in the circus.

> LANGUAGE TO PONDERWhat about artwork you idiot?

>THINGS GOING SOUTH This happens much more often than I would have assumed...

Larry The Cable Guy breaks man's arm in an arm wrestling match.

I would never have posted this except I know several bow hunters and assume they will enjoy it.

>Pay Attention. An 24 year old English woman named Emma Phillips reportedly rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery after a vibrator got... lost... inside...butt, while having sex with her boyfriend.Phillips looked around for the sex toy, thinking her boyfriend was joking around by hiding it, before "she realized it was inside her when she felt it 'buzzing.'"

> All things Ralph...

>Yes, I married my wife for her looks, but not the dirty ones she's been giving me lately.