March 10, 2011

Abe Sauer thought he was insulting Scott Walker when he began his description of last week's budget address like this: "Wisconsin governor Scott Walker's budget address was delivered beneath a dead and stuffed eagle." Above that line is a photograph framing the Governor and the eagle. The simplest effort at Googling — e.g., eagle in wisconsin assembly chamber — would have gotten Abe to the story of Old Abe:

Old Abe (1861? – March 28, 1881), bald eagle, was the mascot of the 8th Wisconsin Volunteer Infantry Regiment in the American Civil War and is the screaming eagle mascot depicted on the insignia of the U.S. Army's 101st Airborne Division....

Company C named the eagle after President Abraham Lincoln, and designed a special perch on which they carried the bird into battle. Old Abe participated in the Second Battle of Corinth (in which the 8th Wisconsin lost half of its men) and the Siege of Vicksburg, among other battles. In battle, Old Abe quickly became legendary, screaming and spreading his wings at the enemy. Confederate troops called him the "Yankee Buzzard" and made several attempts to capture him but never succeeded. Several times he lost feathers to bullets and saw his handlers get shot out from under him. When passing by, Generals Ulysses S. Grant, William T. Sherman, and William Rosecrans were known to doff their hats to the eagle.

In 1864, Old Abe returned to Wisconsin with several veterans who did not reenlist. Nevertheless, he remained famous and was invited to, among other events, the 1880 Grand Army of the Republic National Convention, and the 1876 Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. When not at public events, his caretaker kept him in the Wisconsin State Capitol.

That storied creature is for Abe Sauer just some absurdity that Awl readers should laugh at. Laugh at the stupid people in Wisconsin who think there's some meaning embodied in the carcass of a bird.

That Abe Sauer, like most liberals, is ignorant of our history is not suprising, nor is lack of intellectual curiosity in researching the history of Old Abe. Or maybe he did and it just didn't fit his narrative.

Where's eatbees? Where's FLS? They should be here complaining about how stupid it is to fetishize a dead eagle and how anybody who cares about eagles ought to be volunteering at a raptor center instead . Counting down, 5, 4, 3, 2 . . .

He's also dipping into the rote maneuver of painting Republican female politicians as whores, giving Kleefisch a treatment that only Palin usually would merit:

"In a red suit that screamed 'Look at me, fuckers' Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch worked the Republican side of the assembly like a brothel's madam. From the way she bawdily glad-handed among the Republican leadership..."

Abe was the "screaming eagle". Eagles when hunting always work in tactical pairs, with one only a few hundred feet in the air screaming at the rodents below until they run for cover. The other eagle is two thousand feet higher circling nearly invisible to the prey, until it sees the target running away and then drops on it while the target's attention was on the low circling screaming eagle. That sounds like Walker's tactics that dropped an unseen bill from out of nowhere last night. Now the rodents are scrambling all over the Capitol and wondering what hit them, all because they listened to the wrong eagle that was screaming reports of a sure Union victory.

The rule of law isn't just what Scott Walker or Scott Fitzgerald say it is. The constitutionality of the budget repair bill to begin with, the Assembly vote at 1:00am where Republicans reached over and voted for absent legislators, and the vote yesterday that clearly broke the open meetings law, not to mention voting on a bill that has fiscal impacts without a quorum. No idea what Republicans were thinking on this, but it isn't going to fly in Wisconsin.

garage mahal said..."I assume [Gabriel is] talking about our governor who flunked out of college, got caught cheating, and was told to leave with his 2.5 gpa."

A few years ago, I was sitting in a restaurant on the fourth of July, and at the table next to us, a beefy southern fellow was railing about how General Grant was a drunk, a womanizer, a bad general—all that jazz, you know. And if I hadn't been quite confident of his ability and inclination to snap me like a twig—a mountain sat or stumbled—I might have pointed out that tearing down Grant doesn't help his case: The worse the picture drawn of Grant by unreconstructed confederates, the worse their side looks, because sober or drunk, Grant still outwitted their boys. If I wanted to paint a sympathetic portrait of the South's plight, I would tell people that we never really had a chance when Grant was not only the greatest military tactician in history, but a giant transforming robot T-rex sent from the future by Doc Brown to free the slaves. When you get the snot beaten out of you, it doesn't make you look tough to say the other guy had one hand tied behind his back.

I mention all this because it seems that you have put yourself in the same position as that southerner from the restaurant. Is Walker a dummy? A womanizer? (A drunk?) He may be none of those things. But even if he is all of them, he still outwitted your boys.

Good points, Simon. garage seems to only appreciate conformists that follow lock step in his rigid little view of what matters. Grant essentially had one great skill, being a general.

The world is abundant with people who didn't excel in school or other system but are wonderfully successful in many ways and contribute more than those whose thinking and world view are restricted to what they were taught in school.

He may be none of those things. But even if he is all of them, he still outwitted your boys.

By beating people over the head, violating laws, and ramming bills against what people in the state want? They're dragging off duty cops, firefighters, and anyone else out of the Capitol as we speak. Wisconsin right now may as well be fucking Libya.

garage mahal said..."Wisconsin right now may as well be fucking Libya."

That's true. When you think about it, the parallels are haunting: Like Khaddafi, Walker seized power in a coup d'etat during the cold war, and has stayed in power for decades using ruthless and sometimes violent repression of the population. Recent weeks provide a case in point: Like Khaddafi, Walker has responded to protests by sending in tanks, artillery, and air strikes. Who can number the dead in the streets of Madison? Who can gainsay the bravery of those Wisconsin freedom fighters rising up against this tyrant? I for one applaud your courage.

That's true. When you think about it, the parallels are haunting: Like Khaddafi, Walker seized power in a coup d'etat during the cold war, and has stayed in power for decades using ruthless and sometimes violent repression of the population. Recent weeks provide a case in point: Like Khaddafi, Walker has responded to protests by sending in tanks, artillery, and air strikes. Who can number the dead in the streets of Madison? Who can gainsay the bravery of those Wisconsin freedom fighters rising up against this tyrant? I for one applaud your courage.

@ garage (why do we bother?) No wonder he hates teachers and the rule of law.

Who is it who hates the rule of law? Score keeping is such a drag. Your men and women were the ones who refused to vote on a bill that was going to be lawfully sent their way. And how about those lying "role models" you now have teaching the children in WI schools?

Not to mention how you guys use "hate" is such a nuanced, sophisticated, smart, well educated, and well mannered way.

There are remarkable similarities. The governments to the north have decided to throw in their lot with the opposition; the French Canadians are going to send in their entire air force, as soon as they find some fresh AA batteries for the remote control.

Of course, the parallel would be more exact if there were an octogenarian strongman who had recently been forced out of power to the east, but they're bothhanging on.

"In a red suit that screamed 'Look at me, fuckers' Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch worked the Republican side of the assembly like a brothel's madam. From the way she bawdily glad-handed among the Republican leadership..."

"TWM said... I see that Libya is replacing Nazi Germany as the go-to jump the shark comparison nowadays."

Thanks a million for pointing that out. I was astonished that no one had brought up either the Nazis or Hitler in this matter. Normally Godwin's law would have been activated much earlier. I'm glad that you did it because I was about to do it myself. Cheers, and good catch!

The world is abundant with people who didn't excel in school or other system but are wonderfully successful in many ways and contribute more than those whose thinking and world view are restricted to what they were taught in school.

Steve Jobs dropped out of Reed College after one semester; The Woz dropped out of Cal in '75 to form the Home Brewed Computer Company.

Paul Allen and Bill Gates,also college dropouts; Allen from Washington State University and Gates from Harvard.

We might not be having this cyber conversation if it weren't for college dropouts.

That's true. When you think about it, the parallels are haunting: Like Khaddafi, Walker seized power in a coup d'etat during the cold war, and has stayed in power for decades using ruthless and sometimes violent repression of the population. Recent weeks provide a case in point: Like Khaddafi, Walker has responded to protests by sending in tanks, artillery, and air strikes. Who can number the dead in the streets of Madison? against this tyrant? I for one applaud your courage.

Yes! Who indeed can gainsay the bravery of those Wisconsin freedom fighters rising up for taxpayer funded Viagra!