Friday, June 18, 2010

All hail the Queen of East Havantshire

A map showing the rough outline of the area covered by the joint council

Following the news that East Hampshire and Havant councils are to be jointly run the newly enthroned Queen of East Havantshire has made her inaugural statement to her loyal subjects within the combined district.

Speaking from her the gold-encrusted power boudoir within Penns Palace, the Queen decreed: "It is easy to assume that East Hampshire and Havant are so different and incompatible that the new Kingdom of East Havantshire is an ill-conceived social experiment, certain to end in big Queenie tears.

"Yes, areas around Petersfield have many wealthy residents investing in public services by paying tax on large properties while places like Havant, er, haven't.

"But as your Queen, it is my solemn and regal duty to point out that Havant and Petersfield are in fact perfectly suited to each other.

"Petersfield is an affluent, leafy and creative market town which boasts a huge sense of local pride, successful schools and a strong beating heart at the centre of the community. And that's exactly what the people of Havant want too.

"People choose to live in Petersfield because they value the open spaces, the excellent transport links and its enviable position at the centre of the South Downs National Park. People in Havant share that envy.

"And Petersfield families have shown they know how to manage their money while people of Havant want some of it.