Ask The Watch Snob

You may think you know watches, but lets be real; you just don’t. Let me, a true horological aficionado enlighten your plebeian minds as to what makes a real watch, what you should wear when, and what to do with those old watches of yours. All the opinions expressed by the Watch Snob are my own, and are just that — opinions. Don’t worry though, AskMen.com will still be bringing you great features on interesting watches to buy — both old and new, expensive and cheap. For now, let the Watch Snob reign.

I was thinking about buying a skeleton Artelier from Oris, and was wondering if you think skeleton watches have some lasting power in terms of style?

First of all, let's get something straight: You’re referring to a skeletonized face, not an actual skeletonized watch. Yes, I do think a watch such as this will have lasting power as I predict an increased awareness of, and attention to, the mechanics of high-grade watches in the near future. That said, if you are looking for a true skeletonized watch, consider saving a bit more for a Linde Werdelin SpidoLite or Armin Strom, both truly represent the best in skeletonization.

I bought a Hamilton Jazzmaster for a few thousand dollars at an authorized dealer and after about six months grew tired of it. I tried to bring it back to the same store for a trade-in, but they offered me about 20% of what I paid. How is this fair?

How is that fair? It’s fair because this is how the world works. Just like if you buy a car, the minute you drive it off the lot it loses 30% of its value, the same can be said of watches. Your first mistake is paying full retail price for anything. You clearly haven’t mastered the art of "the deal." No matter where you go, negotiate the price down and don’t be afraid to walk away. You could’ve bought that Hamilton at any of 50 stores in any major town. The reason they offered you so little is because of two reasons: The first is, they know few people will want that watch second-hand (who would even want it new, for that matter?) and the second reason is that if, due to some strange twist of fate, someone actually does want to buy it, they need to make money on the sale. With a watch people want, I’d recommend trying to sell it privately, but with that one… good luck.

I met a guy at a party who was wearing a Patek Philippe watch. He acted all superior to me because I was wearing a U-Boat, a watch that I think is very cool, and was pretty expensive to boot. What’s the deal with that?

The deal with that is he is superior to you. Let me try to imagine the scene. You were wearing Diesel jeans, square-toe Kenneth Cole Shoes and a striped American Eagle button-up with a piece of cheese hanging off your lip? He was wearing gray wool pants from Zegna, shoes from John Lobb and a Ralph Lauren Purple Label V-neck with a professional salsa dancer on his arm, right? This person you are mentioning understands that luxury is about tradition and precision, not about showboating and attracting attention to yourself. Patek Philippe make some of the best watches in the world, U-Boat doesn’t come close. Get some class and put away the little boy’s watch — you look foolish.

question from a watch knob

I have to admit something: I think all you watch people are crazy. I own a Timex that my dad paid $69 for at Wal-Mart and it keeps time just as well as any of these $5,000 watches people go crazy for, and even looks better than most. To me, a watch is a watch. What makes these expensive timepieces worth the money when they don’t do anything my Timex can’t do?

A simple question from a clearly simple person. Yours is one we’ve heard before and one we’ll likely hear again. It is true that your Timex tells you the time as accurately as someone’s Rolex or Breitling, but a watch isn’t about telling the time, it is about your relationship with time. A watch is about style, a story and the history of both your watch and your own life. On a more practical level, there are countless hours of research and development put into high-grade watch movements, employing the finest mechanical engineers in the world to compile hundreds of tiny parts into a durable and accurate machine, all in the size of something slightly larger than a quarter. High-grade watches are about craftsmanship and style, not just about telling time. If life was as simple as you make it seem, none of us would own anything of quality because, after all, a shirt is a shirt as long as you’re not naked; a bus can get you someplace as fast as a car; and a cardboard box can keep the rain off your head as well as a home.