Category: Men

You may have noticed the idea of having or expressing gender normative behavior has become somewhat of a pejorative. I hesitated to share this due to the sensitivity of the topic and my desire to not wound those whose biologic sex and energetic gender are are not the same. That said I’ve been told that this is important enough to need saying and so I ask that it is read in the spirit of love, life and compassion that it is offered.

I love this article – it talks about the pleasant surprise that this woman received when she let HIM pick out what he wanted her to wear, for an entire week.

Initially, she was extremely worried – but that quickly turned to joy as she realized that he actually knew what he was about.

I’ve learned that this is a fantastic opportunity for deepening pleasure in your relationship that is often overlooked. People often comment on how beautiful my Namaste is attired – what they do not know is that I select and purchase everything that she wears. When I say everything – I mean EVERYTHING.

You asked and we heard you! On Sunday, March 26, is the Long Awaited Courtship Masterclass!! With a Divorce rate over 50% just “letting it happen” no longer works. Continue reading “Courtship Masterclass!”

A bit of understanding…
The divorce rate being so high is, to a large extent because, in the current state of our evolution, we will change function a number of times in our lives. We have more opportunities, more travel, we live longer and we are more connected to the global community than ever before. This creates more Self Fluency and reinvention than has occurred in times past. This is function.

With this difference in how we live, in order for our relationships to have sustainable fulfillment, we must allow the form of the relationship to evolve. In short, we must relinquish our tendency to think autonomy and independence will create a solid relationship, and instead find ways to grow together. This is form.

This means pacing yourself… You have time ladies, Kings move slower but their moves carry more weight, don’t try to out maneuver him, it’s not a contest.

This means actively pursuing your evolution gentlemen, she’s counting on you, and her moving as a Queen protects you and helps to bring about your vision if you have one. Have one.

Form follows function. And yet many times relationships are started based on the Function following the form, and so they end.

Form follows function: I want a man who will be a good father to my children, and Joe has the characteristics I’d like.

Function follows form: I am with Joe, I don’t think he’d be a good father, so I need to create and demand controls to prevent his negative influence. *

In courting, knowing what you desire in LIFE will determine the person you pick. If you pick someone based on where you are right now alone, you will often not have enough compatibility to grow together. This is why values are so important. How the values are expressed may shift but the values tend to stay present and that makes growth easy.

What do you want your life to look like? What ways of expressing love feel good? How do you resolve conflict? Know yourself and it makes it so much easier to get to know someone else.

* Once a relationship is established the Form and Function become an endless cycle one feeding into the other in constant balance. This MUST occur to maintain dynamic integrity. However, that happens after the equal sign, not before it.

In Laughter, Love, and Lustiness,

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

This morning while riding around something profound dropped into me. It literally took my breath away in part because it was and is the answer to a question I’ve had a for a very long time.

Where did this battle of the sexes begin?

This morning as I was meditating on Yoni love, and the need for us as women to be willing to adore and express worship to the lingam as well – Spirit dropped in and said “The Feminine did a great wrong to the Masculine” as I opened up n curiosity to this message it began to unfold before me.I saw ancient man – who worshipped women for her ability to create who saw it as magic. I saw ancient women knowing the secret of her blood, the secret of creation – that it required both man and woman to create another human being. I saw her telling these secrets to her daughter and it being a secret withheld from man. The Secret of why they worshiped us. I saw the look of hurt, betrayal, and then anger on the face of ancient man when he realized – when he realized that woman had denied his power. Denied his Divinity. Denied that LIFE was not a dyad between woman and the gods- but was a triad between man and woman and the Divine.

It hit me like a blow to my belly… I began to share with Richard and He began to tell me the effect that this long forgotten betrayal has had on the global psyche of men. How and why men distrust women. How it shows up. I saw how with this new rising of the Feminine we also must see and understand the Feminine shadow that also rises. The shadow that seeks to deny MEN their place at the table, their creative ability, their Divinity and necessity in creation. How this story plays out THIS time is up to us ladies.

Watch the video below— share it widely… We are the answer we’ve been waiting for.

No is a complete sentence – but I think its like the super cayenne that we use in our kitchen. Used appropriately it adds spice and clarifies boundaries. Too much too often and it overpowers everything in the dish.

For some of us – positivity, or having a positive attitude seems a lot like weakness.

We’ve identified so strongly with our struggles that the expressions on our faces most of the time look like we are in a Ice Cube lookalike contest and we are winning.

Our faces say to the world (and more importantly to our families) “Aint nothing funny – life is hard.” (if you truly believe this then Im not going to lie to you – it will be true and your life will be hard – real talk – but that’s a subject for another day)

Being preoccupied with the negative each and every day has a …well, NEGATIVE effect on your relationships.

Yes, she’s ride or die – she aint going no where and neither are you.

She accepts you just the way you are – that’s a good thing right?

Of course…but exactly HOW are you really, when it comes to positivity and laughter??

Are you included when something is funny? Or is everyone so used to the fact that you never laugh that they dont even try?

Do the kids pretty much know that you’ll ‘say no’ – no matter what the question is?

Does she have to wait until you are in a ‘better mood’ – because your everyday is ‘bad mood’?

Whens the last time you truly laughed…long and hard…about anything?

If you cant remember – you need to break the glass, pull the alarm and inject some humor and more fun into your life.

Im not suggesting you put on a clown suit and run around trying to be the next Kevin Hart.

In fact – comedy is an art, so on the real – Im not suggesting you even try to BE funny, at all.

I’m just reminding you that there are a LOT of funny things around you. Life can be hilarious – find the funny. Youtube your favorite comic, watch a movie, listen to a comedy podcast. Look for some funny shyt to laugh at. Turn off the news for a while.

If you havent laughed for a minute, its going to feel strange…but hang in there, it will get better if you keep at it.

Everybody has 10,000 reasons to be unhappy – scowling faces are as common as table salt.

Be UNIQUE.

A man that has a smile on his face invites instant attraction. Women are always curious – she may not want to know what you’re irritated about, but she definitely wants to know what you are SMILING about.

On this Womb Wisdom/Conscious Femininity path the term Shakti comes up quite a bit. I have observed many of my SiStars beginning to actively seek to embody Shakti energy and on occasion Shakti in her form as Kali.

Shakti energy is incredibly powerful. Just understanding this energy and personage could take a lifetime of study and it would be hubris to presume to tackle this in it’s entirety here in a blog post- That said I would like to offer a bit of insight that I believe can really help as you seek to engage on this level.

Shakti and Shiva need each other– Shakti is INCREDIBLY powerful!! She is awe-inspiring and terrible depending on the aspect of her you’re engaging with. That said Shakti needs Shiva as much as Shiva needs Shakti.

Shakti and Shiva are complements– In modern culture, the idea seems to be put forward that each individual should seek to contain both the Whole of Shakti and the Whole of Shiva individually. I believe this ignores the power of the complementary interconnectedness that this relationship is supposed to embody. I believe that the Shakti/Shiva metaphor is supposed to show us our need for each other and teach us how to honor our differences and reach towards each other for support so that we create from a Divine State of Union not Competition or Devaluing. The Shakti/Shiva energy is-NOT to create even more separation or an energy of us NOT needing each other. It’s to teach us that we DO need each other. In the purely nonphysical state this separation is not needed or present – but our experience of the physical is to teach us how to have this with another – not how to isolate ourselves and leave no room for the other.

Without Shiva- Shakti becomes chaotic and destructive. She finds her efforts frustrated as her energy lacks direction. She makes tons of effort with very little return and actualization. That which is actualized is difficult to maintain. She finds her direction haphazard and flighty. She jumps to conclusions. This is the nature of the Feminine in that the very aspect that is powerful and delicious – becomes less than effective if not held in balance by its Complement which is found at the opposite pole of the Masculine. Have you ever felt this? Extremely creative, flitting from one thing to another – but feeling ungrounded? Unanchored? – This is an awakened Shakti without Shiva. The Yin and Yang combination is meant to be experienced in Divine Union. While there are occasional two-spirits and those who are created to embody both- this is not the typical or normal state. Most of those who are meant to do this sort of interplay solo know this by their lack of desire for companionship (romantic or non) and their hermit-like existence.

In our culture where we prize independence as the height of strength- we miss the true understanding of how to come in contact and connection with TRUE strength that is created in our embodiment of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine as a COUPLE.

This oneness is so rare that many don’t even seek it anymore and yet I’ve observed more and more people attracting their Twin Flame, more seeking to have this embodiment in their lives.

This is an energetic embodiment and not limited to only Heterosexual couples but can also be found in Gay and Lesbian couples as one partner finds their fulfillment in the embodiment of the Feminine and the other in the Embodiment of the Masculine.

So what if you are single? Are you stuck in lack?

No – I believe that the responsibility of the single individual that seeks to embody either Shakti or Shiva is to find a complimentary energetic embodiment through which they can experience this dynamic interplay. Finding it within yourself is simply NOT ENOUGH. One can find many ways to experience this. Be it through a spiritual practice with others who ARE embodying the complement, or deliberate non-romantic partnership. Let me say here that having a friends with benefits situation is not suitable for this interplay unless there is genuine FRIENDSHIP leading the benefits. This person who is serving as the complement to your Shakti (or your Shiva if you are a man) need to have the following attributes:

Trustworthy

Integrity

Wisdom

Highly embodied Masculine (if you are embodying the Feminine)

Spiritual Maturity

The ability to Speak into your Life in Powerful ways

Autonomy

There needs to be a feeling that you can trust this person with your Feminine and not fear. The same if you are male seeking to embody Shiva. This person needs to be strong and conscious in their own practice – coming to you as an EQUAL Spiritually – not as your student.

If you look around and do not see anyone that fits the bill – don’t lose heart darling! Begin to put forth the request into the Universe – knowing you attract that which you desire!

I hope this helps you as you begin to delve into this deep and profound practice. May you find all that your heart desires.

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join: http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

We were walking through the store shopping – my wife reached up to get something off a shelf and I caught a brief glimpse of the iridescent fire of her waist beads around her hips.

She turned around and noticed my smile, her raised eyebrow and musical laugh letting me know without words that she felt my gaze upon her…and she loved it.

In that moment in particular I thought about how much I enjoy seeing them on her and wondered how many men are missing out on a fantastic opportunity to bring a similar type of magic into their own lives.

Bro – you NEED to gift your woman with some waist beads. Like yesterday.

First a little background on waist beads for those not in the know; The practice of women wearing waist beads as adornment originated in Africa about 500BC – which means that the wearing of waist beads is not a new ‘fad’ or something that just occurred yesterday. Waist beads have been around for thousands of years and used by women the world over as a form of spiritual protection, to promote healthy pregnancies and birth, as a non-verbal form of sensual communication to one’s partner and hundreds of other reasons as well. Beautiful waist beads and feminine curves are literally made for each other. There is nothing sexier than seeing my wife, Namaste walk through our bedroom with her curves draped in iridescent, delicate strands of femininity.

Your whole world will be graced with a deeper level of beauty and passion when you adorn your woman’s waist and hips with sets of waist beads. Here’s five reasons why:

1. She will look amazing… When I look at my wife one of the first things that I notice is how the delicate strands of beads draw attention to her softness and accentuate her natural curves. When a woman feels beautiful and feminine she is like the sun – she literally glows and the rays of her personal energy shine on all that she touches and everyone around her. Support her in her feminine power and beauty by taking an active interest in that process – not only are the waist beads beautiful, but every time she wears a set that you selected it will make her smile and think of you. Remember how AWESOME your world is when she’s smiling. Yes, a smiling woman is a Good Thing.

2. Versatility to match her mood or style… Waistbeads can be worn in a number of different ways that can compliment her personal style and preference. They can be worn under her clothes to enhance her personal sense of beauty and femininity, or slightly exposed when paired with low-waist jeans, pants or short tops. They can be worn over her clothing like a belt or as ornamentation, or she can even wear them fully exposed with a bathing suit at the beach or pool.

3. Amazing Metaphysical properties… When different crystals and gemstones are incorporated into the style of the waist beads, they transmit energy to the woman wearing them. My wife has different sets that she wears at different times to inspire creativity, passion and prosperity – the potential combinations are endless. Here’s a short list of different semi-precious stones and crystals and the energy that they bring to the wearer;

Malachite is green and promotes prosperity

Obsidian is black and is a good grounding stone and promotes feelings of safety

Carnelian is reddish orange color and promotes a strong and healthy libido and sensuality

Rose Quartz ranges from pale pink to deep shades of rose and promotes healing the heart from pain and disappointment.

Lapis is blue and helps with opening of the third eye – promotes deep clarity, insight and intuition

These are only a tiny sampling of the many different crystals and stones that can be incorporated into a waist bead set.

4. Supercharge her sensuality…. The energy of the beads and their location on her body honor her sexuality. The delicate beauty of the waistbeads around the waist or worn down low around the hips possess intimate appeal and can provoke intense desire. The waist and hip area are especially intimate – unlike other ‘social’ areas of the body, a woman’s waist-to-hip area is seldom seen by the general public and rarely touched casually. A gift of waist beads for your woman is an amazingly personal and thoughtful gesture – the delicate caress of the beads in such an private and sensitive area of the body is a constant reminder of the intimacy that the two of you share. I can’t keep my hands off her when she has on her waist beads. (and she always has a set on, so YES I’m one of the happiest men that I know.) When we are out running errands and I put my arm around her, I can feel the stands of beads against her skin, hidden from view. Hotness.

5. Celebrate her distinctive and unique taste…..Waist beads offer a unique combination of creativity, beauty and value that is unmatched by any other adornment that you can gift her with. If you go to a jeweler and purchase a ring, necklace or bracelet, the color, size and shape of the piece has already been determined in the mind of the jewelry designer and mass produced. With custom waist beads this is never an issue. No two sets of beads are exactly alike. The waist bead sets that adorn your woman are a literal expression of YOU and can reflect your unique relationship and personality!

Namaste is a genius at combining various stones and crystals together in a beautiful arrangement of wearable art for the woman in your life! Check out her Etsy Store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/DesiredThingzor for custom orders/questions you can email us at richardandnamaste@gmail.com

It is the bodies way of letting us know that we are dehydrated that we are in need of one of life’s most fundamental elements we need water, moisture refreshment.

I’ve noticed the term being used in some circles with a measure of scorn

As if to be thirsty is synonymous with being less than, and to want something, to desire anything is an overt admission of weakness, of lack and ultimately of being a failure.

Isn’t it interesting that when we are thirsty in a very literal sense that we readily soak up the brightly colored images, our mouth is open for massive waves of effervescent juices and waters to flow over us to quench our thirst

We can almost taste it when we imagine it.

And that is a Good Thing.

I have a thirsty soul.

I have a hungry heart.

Are you hungry?

Hungry to feel his deep rich laughter vibrate inside you as he holds you in his arms

Thirsty to feel his gaze upon only you to feel that place in your heart slowly uncoiling, opening

Hungry for the heat of that love warming you to the core as you languidly stretch and relax in the warmth of that deep love opening up to him like a blossom turning its face to the sun.

Is that weakness?

I have a thirsty soul. I have a hungry heart.

Im hungry to bask in the music of her laughter

Her beautiful eyes tell me how much she believes in me

Within my embrace I feel her opening to me

Sharing with me her secrets, her whispered sigh in my ear –

she is my oasis she quenches my thirst with the refreshment of her essence.

We share some thoughts with a male student on relationships. These thoughts were so juicy and helpful we decided to share them here:

We understand that you believe that you want to be with someone who is like you. You are strong willed and like everything to be your way. It is totally natural for you to think that it makes the most sense with your strength you need to be with someone who is also strong. The truth is- YES – you definitely need someone who is as strong as you are- but you need someone with a different TYPE of strength.

On a team you have different positions, that’s what makes the team strong – everyone having different strengths.

On a ship – the second in command is just as vital as the captain – but does not occupy the same position.

A lamp has huge potential but in order to achieve it- the cord must be able to insert into the outlet. Two cords do nothing together, two outlets do nothing together. But a lamp and a outlet- they are compatible and can light up a room.

We would say do not believe the myth of sameness. It is wisdom to seek out a person whose strengths complement yours and who is also compatible with you. Seek out someone with polarity – which is difference – from you as well. This is how you create a strong team. Yes, it’s not the popular choice – but it is the effective one, and how you’ll build a strong relationship longterm. One that not only goes the distance, but also stays delicious.