Title: The Persuasive Powers of James T. KirkAuthor:skyblue_reverieFandom & Pairing: Star Trek Reboot (aka AOS, ST XI, etc.), Kirk/McCoy Rating: R-ish, for naughty language. No explicit pr0n. Sorry! :(Spoilers: NoneWarnings: NoneWord Count: around 1000Summary: Jim really wants to top. Does Jim ever not get his way?Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anything whatsoever is purely coincidental.A/N : This piece of silliness is for sangueuk, who just celebrated a birthday, and who likes Kirk topping. Hope this pleases, bb! And sorry for the belatedness of this, but happy birthday! ETA: I cannot believe I forgot to say - huge thank you to linelenagain for helpful suggestions and butt-kicking. ♥

"Pleeeeeeeease?"

"No."

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE?"

"NO."

"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?"

"Shut up or I'm going to sedate your ass."

"Why don't you sedate yours, since it's the one that's all uptight."

"Great diplomatic tactic to get what you want, Jim - insult your opponent."

"Oh, come on, you know insults are like foreplay for us."

"Insult me all you want, then, but I'm not letting you fuck me."

"Aww, come on. You fuck me all the time!"

"And we both enjoy it, don't we? So what's wrong with doing it that way?"

"I just wanna try it, Bones. Just once. If you hate it, we'll stop and I'll never bring it up again."

"I already know I'll hate it. I have done it before, you know."

"And clearly by someone who had no idea what they were doing, and if I ever run across them, I'm going to kick their ass. But I can make it good for you, Bones! Don't I seem like I'm having a good time when you fuck me?"

"Which brings me back to my original question: if we both like it that way, why mess with a good thing?"

"Bones, don't you ever want to try something new and different? No, wait, don't answer that. How about this: it's the first anniversary of my being awarded command of the Enterprise! And almost to the day, our six-month anniversary. Do it for me?"

"Damn it, Jim, not the puppy eyes. You know I hate that. And the answer is still NO, by the way."

"I... I promise not to do anything reckless on the next away mission."

"Jim, I'm not going to trade sexual favors in return for you doing what you ought to be doing anyway."

"Now, can I make love to you? Will you let me kiss you again and again, undress you, touch you all over your gorgeous body, slowly spread your legs, and make you feel so good, the way you make me feel? I love you, Bones, and I want to show you how much. Will you let me?"

"....Okay. Fine."

"YES!!!"

"A fist-pump, really? Way to ruin the mood you had going there, Casanova."

"Whatever. You know you love me. And you already agreed, so no taking it back."

"What are we, five?"

"Better not be, not with what I'm planning to do to you all afternoon and all night."

"You had to go there. Anyway, a bit ambitious, aren't you?"

"You just inspire me to new heights, Bones."

"I'll bet. Wait a minute, this wouldn't have anything to do with the hypo of arginine sulfate that went missing from sickbay last week, would it?"

"Oh, is that the one that has the side effect of making a man able to achieve multiple orgasms and erections within a twelve-hour period? No, I wouldn't know anything about that."

"Good lord, Jim. You could have just asked rather than stealing it."

"Would you have said yes?"

"No, of course not!"

"Well, there you go then."

"Jim, those drugs are strong chemicals, you shouldn't mess around with them."

"Will taking one dose this one time cause me any harm?"

"That's not the point."

"Oh? Then what is the point?"

"That... never mind. Just stop stealing supplies from sickbay, all right?"

"Hmm. We seem to be getting sidetracked here. I believe you just said I could fuck you."

"Jim, I'm trying to have a serious - "

"Bones?"

"WHAT?"

"I love you."

"Oh for god's sake. Get over here, you infant. And take your clothes off."

"Now you're talking! Bones?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you love me too?"

"Yeah, yeah, kid. I love you too."

twelve hours later

"Unnnnnnhhhhhhhh."

"Hey Bones, you okay?"

"Mmmmmmmmm-hmmmmmmm."

"Fuck, that was amazing, Bones. Happy anniversary to me. I love being the captain."

"Nnnnnnnnggggghhhhh."

"You're starting to worry me, Bones. You sure you're okay there? Can I get you something? A glass of water? Something to eat? Your portable regen for those bite marks I left all over you?"

"Jim."

"Yeah? Bones? What is it?"

"Shuddup. 'm enjoyin' the afterglow."

"Yeah? So it was all right? You enjoyed it too?"

"Quit fishin' for compliments, idiot. You know I did."

"Told you you would, didn't I? I'm so awesome. I mean, I'm always awesome, but I totally outdid myself this time."

"Brat."

"You loooooove me."

"Never said I didn't. You're still a brat."

"Um, Bones?"

"What?!"

"I, um, seem to be having a little problem here. Well, more like a big, hard problem, actually."

"Shop's closed, Jim. You'll have to deal with it on your own."

"Aw, man, that's just not right."

"You're the one who stole drugs and used them on yourself without medical supervision. It's not gonna kill you, you're just going to be awfully randy for the next few hours."

As for the productiveness thing - hey, it's easy, just totally neglect everything you're supposed to be doing IRL. :p I saw you posted some smut the other day and I am going to read that soonest. Can't wait!

Wheeeeeee! Thank you so much for this comment! I have such a huge grin on my face right now.

I love writing these two. The Pike/McCoy epic has been awesome to write and I hope it goes on forever, but it's nice to get back to these two with their immature bickering and bantering. Makes for a nice change of pace. :D

I appreciate your decision to comment rather than roll on the floor laughing your ass off. ;) I ♥ your comments, bb.

OMG, bb, this fic is amazing! I chuckled and squealed all the way through! I love you, I love top!Jim, I love snarky, capitulating Bones, I love dialogue-fics, I love you, I can’t believe you wrote something for me!

"A fist-pump, really? Way to ruin the mood you had going there, Casanova." lol – so many funny lines and I loved the ending – thank you, bb!

*squishes*

(sorry I didn't comment earlier but I've only just seen this as I've had people round all afternoon!)

If this had said "dialogue only" in the header, I probably wouldn't have read it. Which would have been a huge shame, because this is AWESOME and SPECTACULAR and somehow INCREDIBLY IC despite the lack of any description/narration. Keep up the great work!

Thank you so much! Wow, what an awesome compliment. IC is always my #1 priority, so to hear I got it right is very happy-making. I debated whether to include in the header that it was dialogue-only. But I figured it would scare people away and it wasn't a "warning" in the traditional sense so I could probably get away with not including it. Glad I went that route. ;)