Bears aren't the only thing to fear

A few years ago, David and I and the girls were walking through the woods.

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Posted Jun. 13, 2014 at 12:01 AM

Posted Jun. 13, 2014 at 12:01 AM

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A few years ago, David and I and the girls were walking through the woods.

Charlotte, my worry wart, kept looking around as we got deeper into the woods. She seemed distracted and kept looking over her shoulder, checking for something.

When I finally asked what she was looking for, she said she was worried a bear might be following us. I laughed to myself because I too find walking through the woods here a little intimidating just for that reason.

My fear of coming around a bend in the trail and happening upon a mama bear and her cubs has prevented me from numerous walks on my own.

We started talking about what you need to do if you encounter a bear: Never run. Make yourself known, and possibly, try to look larger than you are. Most likely, the bear will be too frightened by you, but I wanted the girls to know what to do.

I had read that sometimes a bear will charge at you, running around you, bluffing. If a bear charges you, I told the girls, you must stand your ground and not move.

This is almost inconceivable to me. I picture it in my head: A bear, coming toward me, at top speed, and I, the human, am to just freeze in the hope that the massive animal is indeed bluffing?

My first instinct to run faster than I have ever run in my life could possibly be the very thing that harms me the most? Could I actually do that while fearing for my life?

If an alligator chases you, I went on to tell Charlotte, you need to run in a zigzag formation. Alligators can only run in a straight line, so this could buy you ample escape time.

As we walked farther into the woods, Charlotte kept turning her head, looking behind her, and she looked even more scared.

"Do we have alligators here in Pennsylvania?" she asked. Oh geez, my baby girl, we don't, I told her, and I could see the relief on her face as she scratched one less thing to worry about off her list.

This week in Portland, Oregon, America endured its 74th school shooting since the nightmare in Sandy Hook. That's not counting all of the massacres before that awful day. Just since: 74 of them.

Nowhere in the developed world has numbers like that. This is an American problem.

Now, I won't get into all the contributing factors that have lead us here, but I have a sneaking suspicion that our loose gun laws might have something to do with it, but that's neither here nor there. Guns don't kill people after all, right?

Mental checklist, dear Charlotte. Run in a zigzag from an alligator. Stand your ground with a charging bear. And please, please, sweet girl, lay down, and play dead if an active shooter enters your school.