April 6, 2013

“Hydrangeas are very romantic, feminine and maybe a little demur[e],” suggested Eddie Zaratsian of tick-tock Couture Flowers based in Los Angeles, Calif., who has worked with corporate clients like Chanel, as well as an undisclosed list of celebrities. “Madonna is known for her strength and confidence and so it’s only natural she would gravitate towards a bolder flower.” The elephant in the room: hydrangeas are working-class flowers, aren’t they? Somehow partially responsible for current economic crisis? Make your pee smell bad?...

To Zaratsian, who believes every flower to be a “gift from God”... it is the overall experience of receiving flowers that helps one formulate a memory, and thus create an opinion or preference to hold over time. “What [do] they take from that connotation of that flower? What is that memory of that flower for them?” he explained. Perhaps the larger question is: what did these innocent flowers ever do to you, Madonna?

Have you ever been wronged by a flower? What flower is on your shit pee list?

ADDED: If you're wondering about the pee, I'd elided the part about tea. Don't you know about hydrangea tea?

I am reminded of the Language of Flowers, a Victorian practice of using meanings traditionally associated with flowers to send a hidden message along with a bouquet.

The message of mums, carnations, and violets depends on their particular color. An iris means "good news", a camellia "unpretending excellence", a hydrangea "gratitude at being understood". You might, however, be castigating someone by sending hydrangeas, since they also bear the negative meaning of "heartlessness". I imagine the recipient would know which sense you intended. Cowbane, alas, does not seem to have been used in bouquets, so its "meaning" isn't given. Perhaps Meade could assign it one?

The 19th century illustrator Kate Greenaway published a nice Language of Flowers booklet, which I see is now available on Kindle for free.