The Daily News...

After studying philosophy and advertising, this one fellow said, “Given sufficient conditions and qualifiers – every thing’s true." (To which his other half added, “Thank god!”)

Standing by the tracks and gazing off into what appeared to be the distance, he said, “You wouldn’t believe how many times they’ve run it out of sight, then turned it around and brought it back, telling us it was a brand new train."

One reason men enjoy the idea of death so much is that it seems to be at least one form of conclusiveness reachable.

One ole timer sitting on the bank of the canal said, “It’s a good thing men have an exaggerated sense of their intelligence, or else they’d be left with just the real one."

The head god of this one universe said that nobody was going anywhere until he finished his memoirs.