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Just secede already

Note to Texas (and other states that are secretly thinking similarly):

Your people* don’t buy this modern “being a country” thing, huh? You want to leave the Union over that? Great! Leave! Give up all of the things that rock about our Constitution and go back to embracing the suck that was the Articles of Confederacy.** Give up everything the federal government does for you, thereby freeing up that money in our budget to pay for things like health care and education.

Go be your own tiny foreign country. You are already in every way that counts.

No love,

the girl who frankly thinks the Union is better off without a lot of you.

* Conveniently leaving out the ones who lean at all left of FAR FUCKING RIGHT. You know you guys are welcome in my United States anytime, right?

** No, not the actual Confederacy. The crappy rough draft of the Constitution that caused all kinds of chaos because we were still thirteen mini-nations masquerading as a real country.