Speaking up and out

We are not jackass whisperers. This is perhaps one of my most favorite sayings ever (I heard the original quote through Brene Brown who was quoting Scott Stratten ). What this means to me is: knowing when to just walk away from a discussion.

This used to look like, for me, smiling and nodding and giving the impression that I agree with whatever bullshit a person is spewing. As I have grown older I smile and nod less and less and since November 8th the smiling and nodding is pretty much non-existent.

And I do still walk away. And part of this is because I also have a tendency to do a total mean girl smack down, especially when it’s a topic I’m actually an expert about. And I haven’t found a way to be very clear about what I know and stating the facts without doing a lot of undertone of “you are total idiot for not knowing this.”

I’m learning. I’ll get there. So, in the name of not being a bully I just walk away.

But.

Really, what I’m realizing as I’m writing this, is that this doesn’t really serve anyone either. That people making statements like “Sure there are facts, but we can disagree with the facts” is something we really need to be very clear about calling bullshit on.

And perhaps, what I’m more worried about is coming off like a bitch or a know it all or as rude or as impolite. Maybe it’s not about being a bully at all. Maybe it’s about being a Good Girl.

So many fucking layers to this cultural training we receive. So much for all of us to unravel. Me included.

There are so many ways we silence ourselves. There are so many ways that we each remain complicit in and compliant in the status quo. There are so many ways we each allow oppression, of ourselves and of others. And there are layers and layers and layers for each of us to unearth and unravel and dismantle and dislodge.

So, here’s to the messy and uncomfortable and not really fun at all work of unearthing and unraveling and dismantling and dislodging. Because it is the only way we’re ever going to tear all this shit down.