Doing boring things makes you more interesting

Good for Julie Robinson, the prep school teacher who has said we shouldn't be afraid of being bored. As today's Telegraph editorial says, if children are allowed time for quiet reflection, away from the temptations of the screen, they will develop a taste for self-reliant activity. And how much more interesting, and interested, they will become.

But it's not just children. Most grown-ups suffer from the inability to be on their own for any period of time without the desire for stimulation – from other people, from screens, from drink. But it is the time spent – often a bit bored – on your own, when you top up your inner resources. And it's only if those resources have been topped up, that you become interesting company for anybody else. And, ultimately, have a more interesting life yourself.

Just listen to that fool on the phone on the train, sitting next to you. He's always on broadcast – never absorbing, never topping up those resources, never reading – and as a result his conversation is of a staggering banality. But he's probably not bored, involved as he is in his favourite activity – showing off. That woman, sitting further down the carriage, quietly reading a much-loved novel, may not be quite as excited – but I know who I'd prefer to talk to.

A life of continuous transitory pleasures is theoretically possible, but it's hard to avoid its almost inevitable results: alcoholism, adultery, selfishness, cruelty. Pleasure deferral is often criticised as a bourgeois cult. But pleasure deferred is the best pleasure: the first drink after several days of abstinence; amusing company after several hours on your own; a box set binge after days away from the telly. To drink, chat or watch telly all day every day would be a kind of Hell.

The late Sir Stephen Spender, the poet, once told me his ideal day was spent learning things on his own during the day, and having something to look forward to in the evening with friends. The ideal combination of pleasure and unthrilling but vital self-improvement, I thought at the time. To lead an interesting life, you must be happy being slightly bored, and fill those bored hours making yourself more interesting.