The king’s goats

King’s goat. That was an expression I heard, probably for the first time when I was a student of Ijebu-Ode Grammar School, Ijebu-Ode, in present day Ogun State, sometimes in the early ‘70s. Then, one of our students, Lekan Fenuyi, a table tennis star of global acclaim did the school proud in one of his outings and the principal declared him a ‘King’s goat’. The implication was that the young Lekan was to, henceforth; enjoy certain privileges that should accrue only to ‘kings’ goats’. King’s goats are untouchables. Many of us wished we could be like him. That has ever since been my idea of what should qualify anyone for that appellation.

But, as it is with many things Nigerian, especially these days when we no longer have standards, we have turned many things upside down. Even when we lack the capacity to manufacture things, we specifically ask the manufacturers to produce less potent ones for fellow Nigerians. It is almost in this cynical context that I use the concept ‘king’s goat’ to refer to the sack of nine ministers by President Goodluck Jonathan on September 11. The ministers are Prof. Ruqayyatu Rufai (Education); Okon Ewa-Bassey (Science and Techology); Olugbenga Ashiru (Foreign Affairs); Hadiza Mailafia (Environment); Shamsudeen Usman, (National Planning); and Ama Pepple (Housing, Lands and Urban Development). The Minister of State for Defence, Olusola Obada, and her counterparts in the Agriculture Ministry, Alhaji Bukar Tijani and Power, Zainab Kuchi, were also affected.

There is no questioning whether the president has the right to re-jig or change his cabinet whenever he so chooses. Indeed, just as business enterprises or other bodies, presidents also rejuvenate their cabinets when the ministers are not pulling their weight or some of the aides have soiled their hands, or their actions or utterances are no longer in tandem with those of the government they are serving. The idea is to inject fresh blood into the system and make the impact of government felt better. On this score therefore, one would welcome the president’s decision to give the nine ministers the boot. Unfortunately, there is nothing to suggest that this was the main reason the ministers were sacked, notwithstanding the Presidency’s reasons as to why the nine had to go . Nigerians should therefore not celebrate too soon because they were the least in the calculations of the ministers’ sack.

No doubt, some of the ministers deserve the boot; but the irony is that there are even some ministers that have been retained who ought to have been fired a long time ago. I am not sure many Nigerians are going to lose sleep because Prof Rufa’i, for instance, has been relieved of her appointment, considering the way and manner she handled the education sector, particularly the strike by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU). Again, one might argue that all she did was to articulate the government’s position on the ASUU demands; the lesson in it is that her successor as well as other ministers ought to know how to be their own in dealing with matters such as this. I do not believe whatever Prof Rufa’i did as minister, including her position on the ASUU strike, was her personal decision.

The import of what I am saying is that if she did not agree with the government’s position, she had a right to quit, citing irreconcilable differences, or even simply quitting without giving any reasons. But here, people don’t quit; they rather wait until they are sacked. Prof Rufa’i has been sacked now and may become the fall guy in the crisis. Meanwhile, she has, according to some report, indicated she would return to her job as Professor of Curriculum Studies at the Bayero University, Kano. Will she now join the strike by her (former) kith and kin, ASUU? I cannot wait to see how she would fare in her new position and whether she would get a heroine’s welcome from ASUU.

Quite ironically again, as she is leaving, her minister-of-state, Nyesom Wike, the one that has been spearheading the crisis in Rivers State on behalf of the powers-that-be has been promoted. Wike is now to oversee the education ministry. Could that be the reward for his ‘meritorious service’ in Rivers State, because it cannot be a reward for his stellar performance in the ministry? Even Labaran Maku, the information minister, is now to oversee the defence portfolio. President Jonathan apparently has been pleased with the way the two have carried out their respective assignments. Pity Nigerians who had hitherto thought that Wike has not delivered when they did not know the brief he got from his principal. Now that his principal has promoted him, it should be clear to all that the man has done so well in the eye of he that sent him, which is the most important thing.

It is for the same reason that we should not wonder far as to why super ministers like Diezani Alison-Madueke (petroleum), Stella Oduah (aviation), and finance minister Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, a woman many Nigerians know more as an apostle of the West rather than their minister of finance, are still waxing strong in the government despite public perceptions of them.

What this tells us is that Nigerians are least in the calculation concerning the ministers’ exit. The reasons are clear; yes, some may have to do with corruption, but I have a feeling many of those sacked got the boot because of the ongoing crisis in the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP). President Jonathan is easily predictable. Without saying it, he acts as if vengeance is his and he would almost always revenge, never mind his seemingly harmless looks. Like former President Obasanjo, he appears poised to take his pound of flesh from those behind his travails. Just on Thursday, Governor Rotimi Amaechi ‘heard’ from him again, when he was stopped from passing through a particular route to the Government House in Port Harcourt. I am sure someone from the Presidency would soon issue a release to the effect that the president knew nothing about this!

But, wait a minute! Could there be something that the generals in the PDP are seeing that the president is not seeing? When army generals, including those who received bullets with their chests and those who received them on their buttocks begin to scamper in search of solutions to a particular problem, particularly one that they are very much involved in, couldn’t it be that there is something that they know that the rest of us do not know? As I have always argued, it is only those who know what wicked things people do with spittle that quickly rub their feet on theirs whenever they spit. Are our generals being guided by that great teacher: experience? That could be food for thought!

Without doubt, the question as to whether the ministers’ sack should not have been all-encompassing, given that the entire government itself appears colourless, is not misplaced. But, since the president has both the yam and the knife, he decides who to call to ‘come and chop’. Those who have not yet known those who may contest the presidential race in 2015 by now will forever remain in their blissful ignorance. What we may not know, for now, perhaps, are those who may not.

But some things are already crystal clear: One, ‘We, the people’ are clearly out of the calculations. Second, the era of ‘super perm secs’ may be over but we are now in the era of ‘super ministers’ or ministers with nine lives, if you like, so super that whatever they do cannot be with blemish. The king’s goats!