February 17, 2014

Obamaholics Anonymous: The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted that like crazed pale metrosexuals we were powerless over Obama huffing, puffing, and fluffing — that our political lives had become unmanageable, bereft of truth, justice, and integrity.

2. Came to believe that a Constitution once again greater than Obama could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our political will and our Obama addiction over to the care of Common Sense as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and saw how continually conned we were to believe that this hybrid charlatan was in the game for anything other than his own enrichment, power, and aggrandizement.

5. Admitted to America, to ourselves, and to another drooling Democrat the exact nature of our inability to criticize and dump Obama simply because of the color of his skin even as the content of his character dwindled into negative numbers.

6. Were entirely ready to have the Constitution remove all these defects of our political disease.

7. Humbly asked the Constitution to remove this sham of a president even if it meant, yes, Biden.

8. Made a list of 317+ million Americans we had harmed by our stupid, stupid, selfish, and -- dare we say? -- braindead votes for Obama (twice because, yes, we were just that stupid), and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cause their teeth to burst into flames as they shouted, “WE TOL' YOU DAT BITCH WAS CRAZY!”

10. Continued to ask ourselves “How could we be so stupid?” and -- when we grew even stupider as Hillary shook her commodious tush -- promptly admitted we were still not cured of our addiction.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve the chances that a random asteroid strike would reduce Washington DC to smoldering rubble, praying only for enough mass and orbit change to carry that out.

12. Having had a reverse political lobotomy as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message of Obama’s deep and enduring suckitude to others, and to remind ourselves to take a hot lead enema rather than ever voting Democrat again.

"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper
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There is only one cure, an ounce of lead all the way through the head. Otherwise, they will be back.
Criminals, lazyists, and morally bereft entities are relentless.