Why Your Kids Don’t Need Portion Control

As if we don’t already have enough to worry about, figuring out what to feed our kids, then we get to the pesky topic of HOW MUCH.

Portion sizes. Every mom wants to know how much their kids need. For me personally, I struggled with this when my oldest transitioned away from breastmilk and his diet became mainly real food.

When You Worry They Aren’t Getting Enough

When they are younger and the diet is mostly breastmilk or formula, it is easier to quantify. You know how many ounces to put in their bottle, and how many bottles to feed a day. With breastfeeding, you fall into a routine, and can quantify how many nursing sessions and how many minutes they nurse for.

When my son turned one and we no longer had bottles in the game, I had so much worry that he wouldn’t get enough to eat. This fear always haunted me the most at dinner time.

At this age, he was spending most weekdays at our babysitter’s house, because I was in graduate school. I packed all of his food for breakfast, lunch, and snacks, but I still wasn’t there to see how much of it he ate every day. And at dinner time back at home, he usually did not have a big appetite. I was always worried he wasn’t eating enough at dinner time.

Looking back now, I think he just ate a good amount during the day and his body didn’t need as much at dinner. But I had this huge fear that he wouldn’t get enough to eat and he would wake up at night hungry. Now I ask myself, “okay, and what if he did?” It doesn’t seem like the end of the world to me — now that the phase is behind me! But during that time, I had a lot of worry over how much he needed, and whether he was getting enough.

Appetites are Variable

It’s natural to be unsure about whether your little one is getting enough to eat. It’s also natural to wonder if they are eating too much! Babies and kids have variable appetites, and it may change day to day or week to week. And sometimes, like when they are in a growth spurt, you wonder where they are packing all that food away inside their little bellies!

Some kids naturally have larger appetites, and some naturally have smaller appetites. Also, you have to remember that your opinion about what is “not enough” or “too much” is subjective. It’s your opinion based on your best guess of how much they need. You could ask five moms to look at the same plate of food and will get all different answers on whether it’s enough or too much for their child. So keep in mind that while you do know your child better than I do, it’s still kind of impossible for you to know exactly how much they need at each meal.

Well, what are you supposed to do if you can’t KNOW how much they need?? How in the world can you figure out what is enough or too much?

Starter Portions – It’s Not About Control

This is a technique promoted by pediatric feeding expert, Jill Castle. I believe this is the best approach because it guides you in how much to offer your child. But the key is that you ultimately leave it up to the child to tell you how much they need. You are not controlling how much they end up eating.

You offer these starter portions, and allow the child to eat freely from their plate. If they ask for more, you give them more. This is a good way for them to learn to communicate with you what they need, as well as listen to what their body is telling them about their current level of hunger or fullness.

Trust me, there have been times that my son has eaten an entire avocado, or 3 cheese sticks, or two whole sandwiches, and I have wondered if he’s eating too much and if I should really continue to allow him more food. It can be hard to give up that control to them.

Most of the time, it all balances out, and after a period of high appetite, comes a period of low appetite, and vice versa. It may even be that they have a HUGE breakfast and lunch, then don’t want a thing for dinner. Or maybe they barely eat all day and then want three helpings at dinner time. My best advice to you is to roll with it.

They may ask for more, and then not end up eating it. This is okay too! They are learning. You may feel frustrated that you just got up and made a second waffle and now they don’t even want it anymore. Try to be patient with them. And hey, now you have breakfast for yourself.

What you want to avoid is getting into restrictive feeding, where you are overly controlling how much your child gets, and you deny them more. Yes sometimes the food actually runs out, and there’s no more yogurt (or whatever it is) left. That happens. But in general, if you control their portions, and do not allow them more food when they ask for it, there can be consequences. It can lead to them overeating whenever they do have access to more food. They may eat when they are not hungry, and miss out on learning how to hear their body when it says it is full.

How Starter Portions Work

Read this blog post for starter portions for baby. Also you will find in this post VERY IMPORTANT information reminding you of baby’s signals that tell you if they are still hungry, or they are all done. A must-read if you have a baby!

Use this guide to help you figure out starter portions for your child based on their age.

Another method that is the simplest and most straightforward is the “rule of thumb.” This works for kids age 2 through 5. You serve a tablespoon per year of age for each food group served at the meal. Here’s an example. My son is 3 years old, so that would mean 3 tablespoons of meat sauce, 3 tablespoons worth of spaghetti, 3 tablespoons of roasted cauliflower, and 3 tablespoons of sliced apple. A tablespoon is roughly the size of your thumb, or an ice cube. And remember, they can have more than this if they finish and still want more.

When I Don’t Follow The Rules

I typically serve starter portions to my son at home. One time I don’t follow this rule? Packing his lunch for school. Since I’m not there to give him more, I always pack an amount that I know will be enough if it’s a big appetite kind of day. Most days he eats about 2/3 of his lunch. This is just what works for us!

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Hi, I’m Kacie!

I’m a mom of two and a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist. I offer nutrition counseling, workshops, and freelance writing. Check out my blog for nutrition tips and family-friendly recipes. Thanks for being here!

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