Many times in hockey, a lot gets written about controversy whether it be due to on ice actions, or on some occasions, due to drunken escapades off of it. Today’s “controversy” is much tamer than all of that, as it has to do with a something quite small: a nickname.

Enter Matt and Zack Kassian. The two men are not related by blood, but they do share the same last name. Matt Kassian, a fourth line bubble player for the Minnesota Wild, and Zack Kassian, a young player currently rotating up and down the lineup for the Vancouver Canucks. Their one current bond, aside from the last name, also happens to be a nickname, that of course being “The Kassassin”. And according to Iain MacIntyre of the Vancouver Sun, Matt Kassian is adamant about being the lone “Kassassin”.

At least Kassian has his nickname protected. The 26-year-old has legally trademarked the name “Kassassin” in the U.S. and Canada, which means Canuck Zack Kassian will have to call himself something else.

So how did we get here? Let’s do a quick history of the men and how their nicknames came to be.

After the dust had settled when Cody Hodgson was traded for Zack Kassian, many in the Canucks online community were trying to come up with a nickname for young Zack Kassian. Cody Hodgson, who was often called “Cody Godson” by many, had set the bar in terms of having a fun nickname, so fans went through the options for Zack to try and find one equally as suitable. Eventually “Kassassin” separated itself from the pack and ended up being one of the more common names used for Zack Kassian. I fully admit, I was a big proponent of this, as after every goal Kassian scored, I would tweet “Kassassin Mode: Activated” as a silly way to celebrate him scoring.

In Matt Kassian’s case, the origins of his nickname have eluded my elite googling detective skills, but safe to say he has had the nickname longer than Zack Kassian, as he is the elder statesman in this debate at the ripe old age of 28 versus Zack’s 22 years of age. What my google detective skills did discover, however, is that Matt is so enamored with his nickname that he has created a website for it called www.kassassin.com , and as Matt claims in the Sun article, he has it trademarked.

Legally, it is an open and shut case of one man having trademarked something before another man. In reality, though, I am on the side of “How does a 4th liner trademark a nickname based around his last name?”

Look, I am not going to get into the 4th line bashing material that Paul Bissonnette faces on a daily basis. Matt Kassian has spent a life time dedicated to playing the game of hockey, and I am positive he could drop into random beer leagues around the country and have his way with most of the players there. Just getting to the NHL alone is a huge accomplishment, and I won’t take anything away from that. What I am going to get into, though, is the idea that a player that hasn’t had a giant impact on the NHL, trademarking his name.

First off, “The Kassassin” name is not some ingenious move on Matt’s part. It took about 15 minutes after the Canucks had traded for Zack Kassian that people realized “assian” resembled letters of the word “assassin” and before you knew it, a nickname was born. I guarantee you there was some dude named “Thor Kassian” who worked a blacksmith in England in the 1800’s hundreds who was known as the “Kassassin”, who possibly needed to bathe on a more regular basis.

Secondly, the nickname lends itself very easily to anyone with the last name of Kassian. This would be like someone with the last name “Jones” trying to trademark “Jonesy”, or if Ryan Smyth tried to trademark “Captain Canada”. I am sure you could try and do it, but it just seems all a bit silly to do so. Nicknames like Gary “The Suitcase” Smith or Ray “Chicken Parm” Ferarro, those feel like more personal nicknames, names that came from stories. Not a name that came from a word looking like someone’s last name.

Thirdly, Matt Kassian’s impact on the league is not very high. I would view trademarking a nickname along the lines of retiring someone’s number. If they’ve earned it, then go ahead, trademark away. The thing is, if they were good enough, the odds of them having to trademark their nickname would be very low. Gretzky doesn’t need to trademark “The Great One” in hockey, because anybody who tried using that would be laughed off the ice. Matt Kassian has not made a large enough imprint on the sport of hockey to claim a nickname as his very own. Gretzky could decide tomorrow that he himself is the real “Kassassin” and I would side with Gretzky on this one.

Regardless, Matt Kassian will probably fight to the death to keep a grip on the Kassassin name. As he himself notes, he has legal counsel within the family, and having a free lawyer on hand means he can go to war as long as he wants. I just think Matt is going to be fighting a losing battle. This is the era of the internet, and already if you google “Kassian” or “The Kassassin”, Zack and Matt’s pictures are both littered throughout. With Matt being a healthy scratch for all of his games this year, and with Zack seemingly on the rise, it feels like it will only be a matter of time before Zack’s star power takes control of that nickname and plants him as the face of “The Kassassin”. (“Kasquatch” has been offered up as a backup to the “Kassassin” nickname, just in case. Assuming Matt doesn’t have Kasquatch.com registered as well. Oh god, he does, doesn’t he?)

If Matt does continue to fight the good fight, and send threatening letters to anyone that uses his “Kassassin” nickname, all I ask is one thing. Can we get Brian Campbell and Gregory Campbell to fight over the nickname “Soupy”? Because it would just be unfair for there to be two “Soupy” nicknames out there if there can only be one “Kassassin”.

– Wyatt ” Awesome Sauce™ “ Arndt

PS. I also reserve the right to the nickname of “Kasslander” for Zack. This way I can knock out Zoolander AND Highlander photoshops.

UPDATE: The battle has begun. Careful kids, Matt’s lawyers/random friends are on the lookout!

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