My partner of 35ytears was diagnosed with cancer in August,initially with pancreatic cancer, secondary in liver, after a lot of tests the diagnos is Cancer Unknown Primary. We have seen the oncologist today, and my partner has to have a brain mri scan , as cancer possibly spread to brain. We have discussed chemotherapy, but probably won't go down this route. ( As hit and miss), we would rather have quality,rather than quantity. A bit frightened about pain control in final days, but we have wonderful Hospice care team, and family to help. We are taking each day as it comes, and laughing as much as possible. This forum is really supportive, and I have been really heartened by the support offered. Thank you.

Hi there ... so sorry about diagnosis, but making the most of every day, is so loving and as hard as that journey is, making every day count is what I'm doing ... I'm not having treatment due to health ... but I'm 5 months post mastectomy and touch wood, still standing ... I'll kick cancers bum right to the end ... and then stick two fingers up to it ... ; ))

Hospices are there to make every day count ... I love their outlook, and try to take their principles into my journey... so cram in lots of hugs, tell each other all that's in your hearts, leave nothing unsaid ... admit you feel scared sometimes .. and share a few tears along the way ... walk that last journey, holding on tight ... I find something funny every day ... cancer will not take that away from me, and sounds like you too ..

Having support of hospice, is wonderful , they are so good at pain control ... I've just taken my wonderful granddaughter to pantomime... she screamed with delight, can't believe she diddnt loose her voice .. and wer off and away for xmas ... so big big hug to you all ... pack in lots of memories... Chrissie ❤ xx

So sorry to hear about your partner, frightening to be confronted with a pretty bleak outlook. I can understand your decision, now is the time to talk about everything and make memories as much as you can. I have not suffered from cancer but have cared for loved ones who have died from it. In my experiences the pain control seemed pretty good and they died peacefully in their own beds. The only exception to this was my mum who died in hospital but the hospice movement was not so well-established then. We know we all have to die one day but that doesn't provide much comfort if you feel that that the life in question has been cut short. My very best wishes to you and your partner.

Thank you for your reply, it is lovely to hear of your enjoyment taking your grandaughter to the panto, and your lovely positive attitude. We are so lucky to be under hospice outpatient service, I know that many people are not so lucky. This forum is so nice, to be able to rant, or share worries.

Thank you for your reply, we are very lucky to be under hospice outpatient care, they are wonderful. My partner wants to die at home when the time comes, and the support that the hospice gives is brilliant. Will post updates on our progress.

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