…what global eKonomic slump?… international Kredit Krunch?… no such thing, Mabel… I have the proof right here in my email inbox… it looks to me as if the idea of the January sales has caught hold in those much-maligned centres of benevolence… the givers-away-of-vast-fortunes-to-random-emailees… the splendid charitable folks from places with names with up to a dozen vowels and a coupla consonants… or vice versa, monikers with seventeen consonants and a solo vowel… my inbox today is overflowing with two dozen assorted offers to receive anywhere from USD 6.5 million to USD 13.75 million… anything less than that’s hardly worth clicking a response for… my plethora of prospective piggy-bank regenerators include the usual suspects… widows of collectively deceased military personnel, usually at least generals… there must have been a universal epidemic that targets only those high-ranking officers… then there’s the generosity of myriad accountants, lawyers, auditors, and will-executors looking for ‘suitable, trusted, keep-yer-bluudy-mouth-shut-and-ye’re-gonna-be-worth-more-than-Croessus’ individuals such as this ol’ Jurassic… all Step One requires of me to become the next Warren Buffett is to relay the precise details of my heretofore-bereft-of-moolah bank account… Step Two is the receipt of these various emoluments, which I deservedly earn merely by tapping my laptop mouse in acquiescence to these noble schemes… what could be simpler?… obviously, proper due diligence has already been undertaken by *Madame Tootnaviggeru/*Xavier Q. Nightingale/*Barjjolo Tridllpena/*Signora Madeleinnitas/*Joyband Parcivalle/… *delete whichever is inapplicable this week… but y’know, there’s only so many fancy Ferraris an Iconic-Author-In-Waiting can buy… sleeping in a forty-room mansion on the Cote D’Azur prob’ly has its attractions too… but…

…and trips round the WURLD?… when ye’ve seen it once, y’know?… with all the amassed monies, it seems to me that before too long I’d have to revert to what these good people are doing… figuring out whom to give it all away to… it’s such a worry… if emb’dy wants a spare USD100,000,000, please just let me have yer bank details and I’ll see what I can do for yeez… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…

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