this is the kind of fear that signals big growth ahead! it's usually slow. almost always painful. but definitely worth it. and i'm jealous, in a strange kind of way. 'cause it takes guts to pursue those gut-wrenchingly lonely growth spurts. and it's been a long time since i was that brave. so good for you! kudos! that's what i say!

I'm sure most of the people that post comments here have never met you before--I am one of them. And I don't even know if you read all of the comments left, but I had to share my thoughts briefly.

So, I go in and out of feeling lost in my own skin. You know that feeling of: "Who am I? What am I doing? Where is my life going?" Well, often I do that horrible thing of sizing myself up to others--yeah, a big DO NOT DO. Yet, alas, we all do. Anyway, I realized I've felt as though I need to redefine myself based on the lives of those I see, often the lives I see through others' blogs. But I don't get that from your blog. You are so honest in your writing, and it makes me feel like I can be me too.

Sorry, that sounds so dramatic, but I'm going through one of those moments of crises stemming from "oh no! my internship ends in a month and school is over and my life is upside down and I feel so lost."

So, I just wanted to say, "thank you."

Good luck with Utah!

And don't worry about bringing everything. I felt the same way about moving to New York from Utah for three months. But honestly, everything is cheaper in Utah, so you can always buy what you forgot to bring!

While I'm not leaving anywhere really, I'm also feeling a bit lost in the idea of the next three months. I feel as if they will never end and I've been so worried that they will turn me into a different person, not myself, someone unknown. I think, though, that it will be okay... that whatever comes from the next few months will be good and that while I may have changed, I will still be me.

You will make so many new friends, have experiences you never would have, and enjoy a summer in a place vastly opposing New York. All of this you can take home with you, and that's the best part, knowing that in three months, you get to go home.

it's okay that you couldn't move the bags on saturday night---because they didn't need to move till sunday. sometimes it's amazing how much more couragously we can face the future after a few hours of sleep.

and don't fear being swallowed. let these months take you. carry you. because they'll probably take you someplace you never would have gone on your own. and even if they take you farther than you felt ready to go...they'll bring you back.

i have a feeling that, in 3 months, you'll have black suitcase and a blue tote next to another door. in another state. not sure what the future will hold upon your return. but you'll never have been more ready for it.

oh meg, i'm so glad you write these things that i feel too! you are so human, and i love that you know and embrace that. i think you're wonderful.

i'm excited for your new adventure. i'm starting one too soon, in london. i can't believe i'm doing it, as you can't. but we'll be fine. we will be just fine. life will treat us well this summer, i think. i hope you fall in love with my utah. it's small, and different. but's it's brought me so much joy.

Big changes are always scary, the possibility of success is scary... such scary things in front of you. But so much possibility as well! You're going to be wonderful, I'm sure of it. And when you do walk back through that door with that suitcase and tote you'll laugh when you remember how scared and doubtful and lonely you felt the night before your life changed. Best of luck to you lady.