Monday, October 4, 2010

Oh thank goodness, after my 200 day yesterday I've gone back down to 106.8. I've decided to just follow 24682468 rather than the 2468642 pattern I've been doing but if I don't see a difference in a week I think I'll change it up to 0246802468. Phew, feels good to have a plan in mind. The fasting will be hard but I think I could get through it. Today I'm having:

From the beginning I've also been loose about rounding the calorie count by going over but this has got to stop. I HAVE to have either the exact # of calories or a little less. No more overcompensating.

It would be really great if I could get past the 106.8 barrier tomorrow... In the past two years 106 has been my lowest, and 105 is the lowest in my memory (at this height). So theoretically these should be the hardest pounds to lose. I'm crossing my fingers.

I've also said in my first post that 101 is my ultimate goal weight but actually that's a lie... While it is definitely my FIRST goal weight, I think that in the end, I want to get down to 98.5 (BMI 18) and if possible 95.5 (BMI 17.5). And if I ever do reach that weight and I'm still not satisfied I think I'll go for 93 (BMI 17). Which I know is awful. Perhaps I have ED-NOS? I have symptoms of anorexia (aka never being satisfied with any weight) but I lack the actual characteristics to be labeled as such (like being only 85% of my recommended weight).

Regardless, all of these goal weights just lead to one conclusion: A brand new THIN me.