You can never teach/force a heart to love.The heart has it's mind of its own.It has it's own life.Its makes the most irrational decision.It makes the most righteous decision.Its much powerful than the head.You can question a heart over and over again,but you could never win over it.Acceptance is hard and that's what makes us bitter humans.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Another chapter of my life have begun. I am a better, stronger person. I beginning to realize what I really want and do with my life and being evil is one of them. I am beginning to be true to myself. I will show every fucking person, who I really am.

I don't need anyone.I will happily lurk in darkness forever.

The world is filled of evil people. You have to be one of them to beat them.It's me, myself and no one else.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I'm a bad person, that's a dead giveaway. I rushed because of the intense emotion that I felt at that moment. You can call me any nasty name you wish.I wont fight back. You can punch me in the face. I deserve it. One thing is true, what I felt at those moment is true.I did it because I didn't want to cause further damage. I stopped there because its the right thing to do.

You are special to me, that is true and hurting you is the last thing that I wanna do.

Its been five months since my last bad bad bad relationship. Ilang buwan kong tiniis na wala. Walang affection, walang maski ano and then you came, everything changed. Akala ko ito na ang break na hinihingi ko, mali pala at hindi pa pala ako ready.Our lifestyle is different and sooner or later I might have done something that I might not forgive myself. I prevented that from happening, because I deeply care for you.

Hindi ako papalag sa lahat ng gusto mong sabihin. I deserve it. But one this is for sure. I am a very honest person and I don't deserve anything good and I'm just an existing joke, look at me.One thing that I realized, is that I don't deserve to be happy. Never will, although I am trying hard. I'm one very nasty person and my feelings are very inconsistent.I am a worthless piece of junk under a mountain of garbage.

I tried hard to change things, to change who I am. Guess some people don't change.Like a wild horse, I will forever freely roam the realms of nothingness. I have become nothing only emptier, only worse.