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Month: March 2016

Alright, another week and another hopeful quote. This one from another president. The 29th president of the United States, to be exact. Born on July 4th, 1872, he worked as a lawyer in Vermont before getting into politics in Massachusetts. He was elected Vice president and then ascended to the presidency with the death of Warren G Harding in 1923. He got re-elected on his own merits after, and when he retired after his terms he was quite popular. He died on January 5th, 1933. Ladies and gentlemen, Calvin Coolidge:

“We need more of the office desk and less of the show window in politics. Let men in office substitute the midnight oil for the limelight.” – Calvin Coolidge.

She ticked off points on her smaller fingers. “I’ve lost about 35% of my mass. I’ve grown appendages that work. I’ve changed gender, and all of this happened in the space of a day. Perhaps two, and under the influence of a stone that didn’t affect anyone else in any way.”

The doc watched her tail wave around a bit before conceding the point. “True. Conventional science is unable to explain such things. But that doesn’t mean magic.”

“Any science or technology not understood by its users can be classified as magic. Where are you going with that?”

The doc had been turning with the stone in hand, preparing to leave.

“I was going to take another sample. This stone seems similar to the one you brought in, but different. It channels light like a crystal, for example.”

It wasn’t. It was actually glowing, in time with her heartbeat. “No. No samples.”

“But…!”

She snatched it back. “No buts, and no samples. It’s mine, it came from me, and you can’t cut it apart!”

Just the very idea of such a thing made her cold all over.

And time! Four minutes and fifty-six seconds. Enjoy, and I’ll see you next week!

Seems one of the founding fathers might have a bone to pick with all our current presidential candidates (and I do mean all of them!), as well as offering the rest of us some good advice. The principle writer of the declaration of independence was born in April of 1743, did the revolution thing, and later became both a vice president and the third president of the United States. He died in 1826 in Virginia after a long and distinguished career. Ladies and gentlemen, Thomas Jefferson:

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” – Thomas Jefferson.

Hotwiring a car was easy; she just had to pick an older model and use the screwdriver attachment on the multi-tool she took from Josh while he played look out. It took her less than twenty seconds, but they were on the road in the old crown victoria that ironically enough could be a repurposed police car. She drove since Josh was in no condition to, and still no one looked at them twice.

Not twenty minutes later they were at the clinic, or the warehouse the clinic was in today, and Josh was being seen to by a nurse that could very well be a knee breaker for the mob of her choice, she was so buff.

For her part of things, the doc was staring at her as if she were an alien; perhaps she was.

He had the stone in his hands, turning it around and staring at the glow that lit it from within in the dimmed light. She could feel it as he caressed the thing; it felt nice.

“So, the stone did this, and then you coughed it back up?”

She nodded. Josh nodded, gritting his teeth as the nurse messed with his ankle.

The doc stepped behind her and stroked her tail, which felt nice, before giving it a slight tug, which did not, even if it didn’t exactly hurt. She moved it out of his reach.

“Well, barring some sort of weird Chernobyl inspired mutation, I’m at a loss.”

She sniffed; as if some sort of nuclear mutation could actually cause something like this. Maybe in a baby forming in the womb, but that wasn’t her. Clearly the answer to what had happened was magic.

And time! Four minutes, 34 seconds, and this looks like a good place to stop. See you next week!

Alright, so I missed a week. Sorry, my malaise ate last Wednesday, but I’m back.

This week’s offering is not from a president but from the descendent and wife of one. Born in October of 1884, and a niece of Teddy Roosevelt, she was first an activist. Then a first lady and activist – then a diplomat and activist. She was controversial in her time for her outspoken stance against racism and helped cement the role of first ladies in a more modern era. She worked on advancing human rights until her death in November of 1962. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you, Eleanore Roosevelt:

“It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” – Eleanor Roosevelt.

He understood the trap a bit later when the window exploded, just as he downed the last bite of sausage. A gunman with full tactical gear was already leveling a submachine gun in Josh’s direction; she flung the now empty plate and tackled Josh as the gun went off with muffled thunder.

Rolling over Josh, her ears pinpointed more glass shattering from the front and back of the house.

The blanket from the bed made a good improvised net. She caught the man with it and then twisted it around his feet. The man was a pro; he was already cutting through it before she stopped.

“Come on, Josh!”

She pulled him through the now broken window; landing lightly while he fell with a strangled scream. Hopefully, he hadn’t broken anything; at most they had seconds, and she kind of doubted in her ability to carry him anymore. She pulled him up and he hissed when he put weight on one ankle, but he managed to keep up.

“Car option number 2. We don’t dare go to ours. Come on.”

She had read about some of the things kitsune were supposed to be able to do, and the stone hadn’t left her possession. When they reached the busy street, she stepped forward boldly, trying to hold an image in her mind that she and Josh belonged, they were nothing more than ordinary.

No one looked at them twice.

And there you have it., Four minutes thirty-eight seconds this week, and I think I need more work on fight scenes. Tell me what you think, and see you next week!

My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.