ohhhh this is a pretty good beginning c: I like how the way you describe things and how I barely see any grammar errors [lol teach meh your ways xD] <3 this story sounds really interesting already and i can't wait to read on c:

Wow, this is amazing already. As soon as I heard the first sentence I knew I was gonna love it because it seriously grabbed my attention right then! This sounds awesome and I'm totally looking forward to reading the first chapter.