Is it too early to be talking about candy canes? Most likely. But I join the Targets and Macy's (Macy'ses?) of the world in shoving Christmas down your throat immediately after Halloween only because I care about you. I care about your opportunity to acquire a dozen candy canes laced with the sweet slow burn of sriracha before they disappear. Before all of the other masochists looking for 6" of mild taste bud torture buy them out. Before Santa decides that perverting an icon of his essence and using it to teach kids a lesson about the overconsumption of sugar goes against the spirit of Christmas and bans them.

Sriracha candy canes retain the innocuous appearance of your average striped-and-hooked holiday treat. But peel back their plastic and take a lick...and say hello to the flame of hell or two that have sneaked their way into peace on earth and goodwill toward men. Mmm, rooster approved.

If you're beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, be sure to check out Dude's Christmas Gift Guide for a whole fat man's sack of ideas for holiday swag, parties, and decor.

Betcha can't eat just one. Maybe not even one bite. Paqui says its Carolina Reaper Madness Chip is made with the hottest chile pepper on earth, and possibly in all the circles of hell. It's so hot they package them in...

I know there are a few problems with this Sriracha keychain. Like in addition to enabling me to deliberately put Sriracha on my breakfast burritos and Philly cheese dips on the go, it's also going to enable me to inadvertently...

Light up Father's Day with a Fuego Box craft hot sauce club subscription for Dad. Dad can't take the heat? No problem. Fuego has a Mellow Box 3-pack ($29.95) in their collection of hot sauce gifts too. You can save the...

Satan's Blood Hot Sauce comes in a "blood vial shaped bottle with 800,000 Scoville units of pepper extract." Yeah, I can see that. I can also see a cock & balls ready to spew a scorching, blinding, fiery-hot death onto...

And she looked at you and said, "You want your honey? Oh, this bitch is about to give you your honey." I think that's the inspiration behind Geddes Farms' Ghost Pepper Honey. The retaliation might not go quite as planned...

Get ready for the uncontrollable "O" mouth, exhalations of fire, and streaming tears of blissful discomfort only a few Victoria's Secret models, and Bhut Jolokia, the world's hottest pepper, can extract from your otherwise...

Oh nuts, I just burned off a few hundred more taste buds (good thing the Internet says they'll grow back in a couple of weeks.) Da Bomb Ghost Pepper Nuts kiss an 8-ounce tin of everyone's favorite anaphylactic shock allergen...

In this case, I think that inserting an eyedropper as a serving utensil for One F**kin' Drop at a Time Hot Sauce isn't more than just a kitschy packaging ploy. Reviews of the habanero- and scotch bonnet-infused mouth...

For those who claim to put Sriracha on everything, it's time to put your money where your mouth is. Introduce the rooster to the family jewels. Acquaint your two favorite hot cocks. Sriracha Boxer Briefs burn along backsides...

This ain't no Pooh Bear honey. Fortified with freshly chopped habanero peppers, the meaty smoke of a hot grill, and a subtle dose of bee nectar, Honey Badger BBQ Sauce will grab you by the nuts, make you lick the sun...