Porn-Air: The New Dutch Airline Company

Under the pressure of the new EU legislative body, Dutch parliament rushed to catch up with the new anti-prostitution laws. However as Jaan Van Houten told exclusively to our reporters last week, "existing prostitutes will not be left to die on the streets like those junkies in Britain".

Over the past decade the prostitution agency has gathered 4.5 trillion Euros from PNI "proztituten nazionalen insurancen" and now this amount will be invested on a new air carrier "NUIVA f.s." (None of Us Is Virgin Anymore for sure) that will offer revolutionary services of questionable nature to its clients.

On a recent survey conducted by the DTUFF (the Department of Transport und FICI-FICI [Birth Control]), 78% of the frequent male passengers answered positively on the scenario of a casual sexual encounter with an experienced air-hostess either during the seat belt fasten control or during the meal service, while 98% would not use the meal even as lubricant due to the food's low quality since the latest airline cuts to keep management's pay checks rising.

Based on that, the new airlines will enter aggressively in the airlines' competition and part of the profits will be used as part of the new pension scheme that government plans to adopt for the currently employed women and men in that profession.

The British conservative party expressed their fears with regards to the ethical issues of such an airline operating in UK airports as well as Sexually Transmitted Diseases that might put the country in quarantine as the pre-sales website has sold out every ticket available for flights from UK airports for the next five years.

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