Internet A Life-saver

ANN LANDERS Syndicated Columnist

Dear Ann Landers: I just read the letter from "Married to the Monitor," who explained why the Internet is a marriage-killer. It's not the Internet that is killing these marriages; it's the people.

I was married at 19 and had my first child when I was 21. I endured nearly 12 years of a marriage that was boring and frustrating and made me feel like a non-person. My husband had only two interests -- the television and his guitar. I rarely watched TV, and he didn't want me around when he played his music. I tried to include him in things that interested me, but he made it perfectly clear he didn't want to be bothered. He refused to watch our three children, so I became a prisoner in my own home.

About five years ago, we bought a computer and subscribed to an Internet service. It was my ticket to freedom. I couldn't leave the house, so I brought the world to me. I found friends online. I could "travel" to foreign places. I could look up medical information and join support groups. I discovered I loved history and started doing my family's genealogy. I felt like a real person.

My husband and I divorced last year. In the end, he got his guitar, his big-screen TV and a lonely life. I got the kids, the Internet and some wonderful online pals. -- Loving My New Life on the Web

Dear New Life: You got the best of the bargain.

Dear Ann Landers: I'd like to comment on the letter signed "The Voice of Experience." She said any woman whose husband moves out should immediately cancel all joint credit cards and remove 50 percent of all the money in the joint bank accounts and put it in her name only. I say, "Yes! Yes! Way to go, girl!"

I had to divorce my husband of eight years because he wouldn't quit drinking and was abusive to me and my daughter. Up to that point, we had excellent credit. A few weeks before the divorce was final, my husband charged $27,000 on our joint accounts, lost his job and left town. Guess who was stuck with the payments. I was earning $3.75 an hour but was too proud to file for bankruptcy. I paid off every penny. It took me seven years.

After 20 years of being skeptical about marriage, I'm going to tie the knot again next month. My fiance is loyal, honest, loving and terrific. I love him to pieces. But I'm still going to have my own bank account. -- Once Burned Twice Shy in Florida

Dear Florida: I don't blame you for being cautious. I hope Mr. Wonderful No. 2 lives up to your expectations. Many happy returns.