(Closed) ***VENTING!***.. Although any advice is more then welcome! Kids, money, daycare

Hey girls! So I have to appologize in advance.. And thank anyone that offers advice to me. I feel like I am stuck. In life.. in general… Just when I feel I am starting to be able to swim I get pushed back down. Let me get the basics out there.

My FH and I just recently moved back intogether. We have been together for almost 5 years. We have been through our tough times and have been seperated a couple times. We both work full time. We drive 30 minutes one way to get to work. I am going to school part time online to get my prereques for nursing school.

I have 2 toddlers ages 2 and 3. Both in diapers/pullups. Daycare fees are $250 a week for the pair. I do (as of now ) get daycare assistance. Out of pocket monthly I am ended up still paying around $250 per month. I was just told yesterday that the SRS office is needing copies of my fiances’ ( kids dad) Check stubs. So in general they are going off both our incomes and not just mine. So with that said.. with his income combined with mine.. We make $400 more then allowed for ANY type of financial assistance.

On top of the daycare bomb, I recieved a letter in the mail (the same day!!!) stating that I no longer qualify for health insurance through healthwave because I make to much money, however my children will be covered for another yr.

My SRS case worker told me that due to us both working we do not qualify for anything extra. No extra income assistance or health insurance. NOTHING.

So… From my understanding if one of us wouldnt work then we would actually all qualify for health insurance, financial assistance, daycare help. What in the world is a person to do??? What I bring home a month would be exactly what it take to cover my daycare and PART or the gas to get there.

Should I stop working, live off the state and go to school full time? We would atleast get help for groceries, money for bills and daycare for kids while im at school.

Seems like the state is pushing it to where people can not make it on their own! They refuse to help people that are trying to do it all on their.. Am I crazy? Am I being ridicoulas?? Please tell me what you honestly think.

My friend, I feel your pain. A good portion of my teenage-hood was spent wondering about things like this–I worked and got HI through my mom–who qualified, but with my income, I didn’t. Yeah. It sucks [email protected] I have no advice, just comiseration.

@FutureMrs.Morgan: Without knowing all the details I cant really give advice. But I do feel your pain. It seems like there are SOO many programs out there for the very very low income, and nothing to help that “working poor” group, ya know? My mom became a single mom of 3 (under the age of 10) and other than social security survivor benefits, she never qualified for anything.

@FutureMrs.Morgan: That sucks so much. I don’t think I really have great advice for you – but I would advise against ‘living off the state’. If you have any kind of halfway-decent job, you are gaining experience and time at a job. If the opportunity did arise for a promotion/job change, you will be in a much better position to get it than if you were at home doing nothing.

That is not meant to be any kind of slam against SAHM/SAHW. My mom was one, but if you want to keep working in the future, that’s probably a better way to go.

It just amazes me that we both work full times. Pay our bills and our taxes. we are in our mid 20s’ well We are 25 anyway.. but Im going to school… Its like a balancing act ALL the freaking time! I feel like we would be so much better off if i would not work and just go to school full time. We would get so much more help that way.. but it isnt my first choice. I LOVE my job.. like really LOVE it.. I have NEVER been able to say that before. And now.. It seems I cant afford to come to work. When do the middle class get help??

@FutureMrs.Morgan: Is the state going after the dad for child support if they are going to count his income?

When my daughter was in daycare I qualified too for assistance and they didn’t count her dad’s income. That’s weird. I hear you though. Even though I was getting help, I was still paying almost $500 a month for just daycare. I’m so glad she is done with it and starting pre school in the fall that costs A LOT less than daycare.

A PP has it right. There are so many programs out there for the very low income, but you can work two full time jobs and still be struggling in this life. I make good money for myself, but it feels like I just can’t get ahead.

They are not going after their dad bc we live together.. so they are basing what we qualify for off both our incomes. Frustrating that I feel we work to death to barley float.. and we can not get ahead.

Does anyone think it would be better to literally just let him work, let the state help pay for stuff and then get my nursing license in the mean time?? Or do we struggle?

I think that I would do everything I could to stay off state assistance. If that means working more, working different hours, working part time, finding a job closer to home, then I would do that. I would try everything I could to not use the state benefits.

If you absolutely can’t do it, sometimes you can still get food stamps or WIC (your children are still young) even though you can’t qualify for other programs.

There is something seriously wrong with this picture. Your situation is a perfect example of a complete system failure and it totally isn’t your fault. Maybe if the government gave you tax benefits based on the fact that you have two small children and a certain income, THAT would help pay the bills while encouraging you to pursue a career and contribute back to society. I’m really sorry you are faced with such a tough decision and I hope things get easier. Try to think about the long term.

@lefeymw: I agree with all of these! We clip coupons and it’s awesome. I barely pay for things like pain relievers, toothpaste/brushes, and razors. We save about $200/month and we are so stocked up, we barely have to shop right now, which saves us more. We cut costs by using our air conditioner less during the day, we almost got rid of cable (but signed a deal for basic +internet for less than $50/month), and we plan meals/eat at home most days. We also buy in bulk – like if you buy the family pack of chicken breasts/steaks/etc, you can afford to eat better cuts of meat. I just repackage and freeze when I get home.

I so feel ya!!! FI and I have a 14 month old together and we right now get assistance for daycare. But FI just got a new job and we were boarderline of losing it. There are somany programs out there, but they are for the people that make like no money. IMO you should at least be working and trying to make ends meet in order to even qualify for these things.. and you are!!! I am so sorry you are going through this I know first hand how rough it can be. Its a struggle trying to balance everything and make all the pieces fit together. FI and I both work two jobs and its still rough sometimes. All I can say is that it will..eventuallyget better. As for you quitting your job If its smarter right now I know it sounds bad but do it. If inthe long run thats going to be better for your family you have to lookout for your family. Again Im so sorry your going through this!! Its hard.