-Blog about the nosy work apes hanging all over me all the time so I can’t get any blog peace and quiet…

Naw....if there’s no bloodshed what’s the point?

-Blog about how I wish there were big comic-comment bubbles over peoples heads instead of having to wince away from their bad breath…

TAKE A MINT ARCHIE!

Naw, bad idea...then they’d know I was lying half the time.

Ok seventy-five percent.

-Write about something meaningful.

?

Create a Blog national anthem. …Buy a poultry dress with matching purse …continue to wonder if you pronounce Illinois like Ill-a-noise or Ill-an-oy…Blog about how one can say the word persnickety so many times over and over that they lose all feeling in the face…why thinking vagina when someone says angina… then, naturally… Aunt Jemima…is wrong...

Is my life the blog or is the blog my life?!!!

BREATHE!

OK.

Much better.

Not really.

Now what?

Talk?

Naw...gave it up for blogging (-:

Do you guys still...you know...um, talk?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

He would pretend to wrestle snapping turtles out of the lake, he’d shoot bats at night in the backyard and he would sell cotton balls on paper plates during the day in Central Park claiming that they had the ability to tune you into this one of a kind, amazing station….

W.Y.O.U.

I know now why my mother would never let me stay at my cousin’s house for any extended period of time.

But on one rare visit, with prison-like supervision, I happened to catch a glimpse of his wares that were laid out and all ready to go. I watched with an open mouth as he cotton stuffed both of his ears, closed his eyes and proceeded to tap one foot gently up and down.

Could there be any truth to the cotton balls? Was my mother the one who was crazy?

Not being able to contain myself, I asked “What are you listening to?” and picked up some fallen cotton balls for closer inspection.

“W.Y.O.U.” he replied not even opening an eye at my half curious half incredulous ten year old tone.

“W.Y.O.U.?” I wondered if my Aunt was aware of his severe sanity limitations.

"What are you talking about? There is no such station.” Glad to be the one to finally state the obvious.

Maybe it just took a kid to set him straight. Wouldn’t my family be proud?

“But of course there is” he replied calm as you please and reached out to hand me two fresh cotton balls “Go on. Try them”

Darting a sneaky glance left and right to ensure that my mother wasn’t watching, I shoved a fat white cushy ball in each ear and waited for….well….something.

“I don’t hear anything” my own disappointed voice echoed in my head

“Oh yes you do” My crazuncle insisted. “Shhh…Just listen”

I knew he was nuts. How could I have even questioned my poor sweet mother?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

If my baby making days weren’t three rhythm methods to the wind, I’d definitely throw that name into the hat for a girl.

Maybe I’ll even petition the new mothers-to-be to get their heads out of their Bella asses long enough to give good ‘ole I’m-not-just-your-mama’s-maxi-pad Maxine another chance.

Think about the alternative, seven years from now, teachers across America will stand up and say ‘Ok Bella, go sit next to Edward’ and ten million Bellas and twelve villion Edwards will all look around from their seats, scramble around frantically in circles, break out into a cold sweat and then eventually faint dead away in confusion.

GRAB THE BUTTON AND SPREAD THE WORD ..... BLOGGERS DO IT BETTER YO!!!

Rap Sheet

Mother, wife, writer, friend, un-willing employee, feeder of fish and cats (all right, so I don't always remember to feed the fish-it's not my fault they can't talk to remind me), cleaner of house and clocks and not necessarily all in that order or always done well but getting done nevertheless (-:

More?

O.K. I love my son more than air, I would drink tomato sauce from the can if it was socially acceptable, my husband and I want to throw live grenades at each other on a daily basis but love each other still (strong love beats live grenades. In Battleship and in life! 11 years and still going strong.

Thanks Lee!!!

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @ http://robyns-page.blogspot.com/

Tamara-Thank you for this!!! xoxoxoxoox visit her at @ homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com xoxoxo

Thanks so much to Blia @ superheroesmom.com

Grab An Award-see below

Finally, you do not need to be a recipient of an award to give an award!

Grab An Award – My way of awarding it forward. The only rules are: THERE ARE NO RULES (Only rule is no rules? Rule for rules? Is that a rule? I’m so confused)

And what is nicer than giving an award with no strings attached just because?

So in the spirit of fun blog awarding and ‘cause I think they’re a great way to connect and share the blog love with our awesome fellow bloggers (without the chain letter affect-they give me the willies), I have created The Divine Blogger and Rock Star Blogger Awards to grab-I know, fancy right? -(o.k. so I won't quit my day job)

Grab it and let the lucky recipient (s) know that you have given them a rule-free award and not to be afraid to pick it up on your site.Once they grab it from your site, they are free to pass it along to others (rule-free of course). And anyone can grab it from their sites to pass on as well.

Hope you all enjoy awarding it forward!

Now hurry! Go make room in your closet for all that good karma. And please get rid of those old sweatpants while you're at it! (-: