Friday, December 3, 2010

BIrthday Season in Full Swing (Babble)

January in Wisconsin is not usually a pretty month. It’s nice on the
days the snow is fresh and the wind chill isn’t at arctic levels, but
for the most part it’s cold and grey and cold and slushy and cold. But
right about now I find myself casting an eye at my new calendar with the
wistfulness of the weary. Almost nothing is happening in January. No
holidays, no birthdays in our immediate family, no big meals or gifts….
January looks blissfully simple. I can’t wait.

In the meantime, we are in the throes of birthday season
again, and this year it’s particularly packed. From mid-November
through the end of December we have Quinn’s birthday, Thanksgiving,
Mona’s birthday, a memorial service in Ohio for my grandma, a trip to
Michigan to see the last group show at my parents’ gallery,
Aden’s birthday, Christmas, and New Year’s. Plus there’s a harvest
play in there somewhere, a kids’ concert I’m supposed to be in, and a
performance of the Messiah that I should be practicing for. I’m not
sure when I’m supposed to find gifts for people or mail out cards, but
somehow I will get it done. I hope (she said, while looking longingly
at all the blank space on the January page of the new calendar).

Anyway, Quinn’s first real birthday party was a success. This year
he got to make decisions about his cake and the activities and the guest
list. Unfortunately the only good time to have his party was during
the middle of the week because the weekends around it were all spoken
for with book club and work and a choir concert. I thought it made the
most sense to just have Quinn invite a couple of friends over right
after half day school and have pizza and cake at the house and let them
all play for an hour or two. But my daughters were so upset that I
scheduled their brother’s party while the two of them were still in
class that I ended up pulling them out at the half day pickup too. At
first that seemed a little crazy to me, but I asked myself, what will
they remember more? Their brother’s party or a couple of hours of
self-directed Montessori education? Heck, it’s Montessori, so the party
might even count as a life skills lesson, so win-win! (Yes, my powers
of rationalization can be impressive.)

Quinn could not have been happier. He only stopped smiling long enough to blow out the candle on his cake.

(Good grief, my baby is four. FOUR! How does that happen? I swear it was only like a minute ago he looked like this:

(Which was awfully cute, too. But he’s even more fun now that he says things like, “Mom, I love you bigger than space!”)

Next we have Mona’s party coming up. Mona has already chosen
prospective party locations for the next three or four years. Last year
she really wanted it at Chuck E. Cheese’s, which with Ian deployed was
great because I didn’t really have to do anything other than show up and
pay for pizza. I’d do that every year it was so easy, but now that
Mona has that out of her system it probably won’t happen again. This
year she wanted a ‘Planet Bounce’ party, which was what a local
gymnastics facility used to call its party plan complete with bouncy
houses next to the trampoline floors and sponge pit. It’s now called
something like ‘Bounce and Beyond’ but Mona is stubbornly sticking to
‘Planet Bounce.’

Whatever you call it, it’s simple, the kids love it,
and my only duty is to take care of the food. I asked Mona last night
what she wants to serve and she said fruits and vegetables. She
suggested celery and then added that she won’t eat any of it. So I told
her to pick things she herself would actually eat, and we came up with:
bananas, carrots, apples, and string cheese. We may also do some kind
of mini sandwich to order deal, where we bring little rolls and peanut
butter and jelly and ham and cheese, etc., for those who want some.

The big deal for this party is the cake, which Mona wanted to look
like a light purple dragon with silver and gold bits to it. She drew me
a picture to help me out, and we went online and looked at other dragon
cakes people have come up with to give me some direction. I knew I
could make a dragon cake, I just didn’t want to spend hours accidentally
making the wrong one. Maybe I was feeling overconfident because my
kids and I watch a lot of Cake Boss and it just seems like with enough
fondant anything is possible, but I think I did okay. Mona made the
wings herself out of paper and put on all the Hershey’s Kisses and
sprinkles. I used a devil’s food cake recipe from my mom, and I found
recipes for fondant, butter cream frosting, and modeling chocolate
online. Creative cakes make me happy, so that’s my favorite part of
Birthday Season. I honestly think if I couldn’t make violins, I would
be happy designing cool cakes.

By the way, modeling chocolate? My new favorite thing. It’s just 10
oz of chocolate melted and mixed with 1/2 cup of light corn syrup. It
feels like clay but you can eat it. (Aden said it tasted just like a
Tootsie Roll.) When it gets too hard you just zap it in the microwave
for a few seconds and it’s pliable again. I used white chocolate so I
could mix it with food coloring, and I’m thinking that chocolate
sculpting could be a fun craft activity next rainy day that I have a
bunch of extra kids in the house. And little chocolate sculptures made
by the kids would be really cute presents or decorations on cupcakes….

The plans for Aden’s party next week are a little undefined at the
moment. She wants something at home and quiet. She wants a simple cake
and she’s going to help decorate it. I’m a little concerned because
her ideas for activities can get intricate and then other kids get
bored. At Quinn’s party she ran a game called ‘Pin the Topping on the
Pizza’ and it was way too complicated for four-year-olds. I salvaged
the game by simply holding children upside down and challenging them to
tape the paper topping to their name on the slice of pizza while
wiggling them around and making everyone laugh, but it was not the game
Aden had envisioned. Aden was good about letting go of her original
idea, though, which is new.

In fact, you seldom get to pinpoint certain attitude changes in
children, but this one I think I can. The night before Quinn’s party we
were putting up streamers by the reflected light of our disco ball and
having fun, but something about it didn’t happen the way Aden had
pictured it. She went off to her bed to sulk while Quinn and Mona
danced in the living room and told their dad where to tape balloons. I
went upstairs to talk with Aden. I reminded her that the party wasn’t
about her. It was about what made her brother happy because it was his
day. If however the streamers got put up made him happy, it was right,
and she needed to let it go because she was missing the point.

About an
hour later when she had joined us again and was putting up more
decorations with her siblings, I was listening from another room and
heard Mona starting to get picky about something when Aden stopped her.
She said evenly, “Mona, this is Quinn’s day. However he wants it is
okay and we don’t get to decide.” It was so gratifying to know she
actually heard what I said and took it to heart! Too bad it’s so rare
that that moment stands out, but I’ll take it.

In any case, for her own party she was thinking about board games or
something along those lines. I’m thinking a Pictionary event with teams
might work if I can talk her into it. She’s having trouble accepting
that some of the party games and activities we did when she was little
might not work as well for third graders. I don’t know if her friends
are interested in Pin the Tail on the Donkey anymore. We have time to
figure something out. We’re going to have everyone make their own mini
pizzas, so that will be fun. (And, SSHHH, don’t tell her, but I’m
thinking for her present of getting her a pair of roller skates.)

I supposed there’s something to be said for getting all the presents
and parties and baking done in one fell swoop at the end of each year,
but I see other people planning birthday parties in the spring or summer
and I’m always a little jealous. It must be nice not to have all the
birthdays smushed together in the winter along with Thanksgiving and
Christmas. But we got what we got and it’s the smallest imaginable
price to pay considering all we have. I am too lucky for words.

Now excuse me while I go off to do about a million other things (while I dream of January and quiet and a cup of cocoa)….