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20) On the beach

20) On the beach

A mother took her son to the beach. He sat down in order to play with the sands and to build houses from the pebbles. He then requested from his mother to swim. He took off his clothes then swam in the sea.
His mother asked him when he emerged out “How did you get the sea?”
He said, “The Sea is beautiful, but the people drew a salt in it.”
His mother laughed a lot then said him, “The Sea water doesn’t become except a salt.”

Re: 20) On the beach

***Neither a teacher nor a native speaker.***

Originally Posted by atchan

20) On the beach

A mother took her son to the beach. He sat down in order to play with the sands and (to) build houses from/out of the pebbles. Thenhe requested from his mother to swim. He took off his clothes and went to swim in the sea.
His mother asked him when he emerged out, “How did you get/feel the sea?”
He said, “The Sea is beautiful, but the people drew a salt in it.”
His mother laughed a lot then told him, “The Sea water doesn’t become except a salt.”

Hello my friend
As usual a nice and short story.

Some of my changes:
- I'm not sure if you need the second to in sentence 2, maybe one is enough
- as far as I know we build something out of something
- I believe it's better to say "Then he", I've never seen "He then"
- you request someone to do something - no need to use from here
- you take off your clothes and then you go to swim. you can say, "I swim and sing" because you do both things simultaneously.
- I think get is too general and maybe feel is better. (you could also ask, "Did you enjoy the water?" - as example)
- salt is an uncountable word, that's why you can't say a salt
- and the last sentence needs some bigger changes, this is for our professionals

Re: 20) On the beach

Originally Posted by atchan

20) On the beach

A mother took her son to the beach. He sat down in order to play with the sands and to build houses from the pebbles. He then requested from his mother to swim. He took off his clothes then swam in the sea.
His mother asked him when he emerged out “How did you get the sea?”
He said, “The Sea is beautiful, but the people drew a salt in it.”
His mother laughed a lot then said him, “The Sea water doesn’t become except a salt.”

A mother took her son to the beach. He sat down in order to play with the sand and to build houses from the pebbles. He then asked his mother if he could swim. He took off his clothes and swam in the sea.
His mother asked him when he emerged “How did you like the sea?”
He said, “The Sea is beautiful, but the people put salt in it.”
His mother laughed a lot then said to him, “The sea water doesn’t come any other way than salty.”