Dean: Obama’s desperation: ‘Sky is Falling’

Lt. Col. Andre Dean, Guest columnist

Published 10:19 am, Tuesday, December 29, 2015

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Dean: Obama’s desperation: ‘Sky is Falling’

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The following is an imaginary, satirical global climate change conversation that only partially occurred. But it resonates the current political reality as we begin the final year of President Obama’s presidency and consider our next congressman’s role to finally reign in a sitting president as a co-equal branch of government.

2015, NEW LONDON, Conn. — “Now listen to me gosh dang it, you future Coast Guard officers! I don’t need to remind you that I outrank every swingin’ captain or fleet admiral here on this stand with me. I am your commander-in-chief!

“Climate Change, Global Warming, Global Cooling, Extreme Weather, Rainy Weather, whatever weather I want to call it. If I tell you it is dangerous to America, then you shout, ‘Sir, Yes Sir!’

“Climate Change constitutes a very serious threat to America’s global security. Climate Change is an IMMEDIATE RISK to our national security! Are you getting this?

“And make no mistake, Cadets, we need to act NOW!

“Miami and Charleston are flooding today! Thousands of miles of highways, railways and energy facilities are vulnerable! Just a 12-inch rise in sea level over the next 10,000 to 20,000 years could cost our nation $200 billion!

“Now, am I getting through to you boys?

“I have sent Joe [Biden] and John [Kerry] across the globe to peddle this panic to all my friends in ISIS, China, Iran, North Korea, Russia and the lot. And what did I tell ’em to say to those barbarian polluters?

“I told ’em to say:

• “There is no greater threat to our entire planet than climate change!

• “Climate change to me is the exact same threat as if ISIS was trying to kill 50 Americans at a Christmas party in San Bernardino, California! I won’t let climate change get a-one of us!

• “You know those 368 wounded and 130 Parisians killed by the unfortunate, misguided Islamic State warriors in the Paris Massacre November 13th? Well, let’s surprise those mean ISIS people. We will gather the world leaders right there in the heart of Paris just two weeks after the unfortunate carnage. We’ll shame them ISIS boys by showing them we are bigger than they are and that we will not be deterred by their political activism murders.

• “We will gather to face a real threat; terrifying world temperatures that may have risen by one-half of one degree Celsius over the past 150 years, then 19 straight years of global cooling that we can’t yet explain within our anthropogenic (man-caused) extreme weather political-climate models. That’ll show ’em!

Leaving the satire behind, the last Gallup poll taken on our top 15 greatest worries facing the USA? Climate change ranked appropriately No. 14 of 15 from combined voters of both parties. Only 10 percent of all Republicans thought about man-caused climate change at all. Wisely, we conservatives placed it dead last.

Army Lt. Col. (Retired) Andre Dean is a candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives, 8th District seat, representing Montgomery County and eight surrounding counties. Website: www.ColonelDeanToCongress.org.