Tuesday, February 24, 2009

MOMMY...

Seeing as I named my blog after my two girls, I thought I would have my first real post deticated to them. They are the center of my world anyway, why not be the center of my blog?As all you moms out there know, there’s nothing like being a mom! The ups and downs of it all are incredible, unbeatable, amazing, hilarious, emotional and sometimes even unbarable! The crazy everyday life of a mom is everything I ever expected and so much more.

I cannot imagine my life without my two girls! They make my life complete. They never cease to amaze me. They find joy in the littlest of things. I think this is the most amazing thing about children. I wish adults could enjoy life as much as children. I wish we could all learn to relax and enjoy the simple things and each other more. The world would be a much better place if we all loved and enjoyed life like children! I know, through them, I have learned to take one day at a time and not take myself too seriously.

I always wanted four kids. My reasoning is crazy, I know, but this is why… Growing up with only one sister, I always wanted the experience of a bigger family. Two is just not enough, three and there’s always someone left out, so there must be four! As a tom-boy in my younger days, I always wanted a brother to play in the mud with and climb trees with. I also always wanted to give my girls a brother and Darren a son.

Unfortunately, within the last year with my illness, we’ve decided to be done having children. I know I couldn’t handle the long nights, the never-ending days and the physical toll it would put on my body during and after pregnancy. The more time that passes, the more I am ok with it. It’s sad to think that I’ll never have another life inside me or that I’ll never get that “baby phase” back again, but I see the girls grow before my eyes and am getting to enjoy the other phases just as much… for the most part! LOL!

I see my life grow as they do. The older they get, the more my life can become it’s own again. Don’t get me wrong, the life of a mom is great, but I also miss the life of being a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister… a woman! I know with more kids, this would have to wait a little longer. I would absolutely be willing to put all that on hold for more children, but it’s also nice to see it all slowly come back.