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Topic: To go again or not to go again?.... that is the question! (Read 10146 times)

I am new to the site so "Hey!". I am just looking to reach out for some feedback, hoping that maybe someone has been in a similar situation. I am the father of 2 girls aged 2 and 4. My wife is making some seriously loud noises about going for no.3 not to mention anyone that hears that our youngest is 2 now is playing the "time for no.3" card. Here is my dilemma...

1. When our 4 year old was born, there was no complications during the pregnancy and the brith was as straight forward as it could be. Of course times were hard when she arrived as they usually are in the first year or so but overall (and compared to no.2 she was a breeze!).2. Pregnancy no.2 was almost the exact opposite. When we went for the 8 week scan we found out we were having twins. It was a shock at first but we quickly fell in love with the idea of having twins. Unfortunately when we went for our 18 week scan we discovered we had lost twin 1. Coupled with the initial "what the **ck!!" the nurse then says there is a chance of shunting and twin 2 could be mentally disabled!!! We walked on eggshells for the remainder of the pregnancy and because we didn't want to pollute our survivor with sorrow or negative vibes. Because of this we never really got to mourn the loss of twin 1 (Star). I personally still haven't had the chance to mourn as men we have to stay strong for our women and crack on. The truth of it is its left a deep scar on me. I honestly don't want to open our marriage up to something like that again. I couldn't bare to see my wife that broken again.If someone could offer me a third healthy straight forward kid I think I would be ok with it but the thoughts of going through the 40 weeks on eggshells again, attending each scan on the edge of my seat. I just don't think I have it in me. We spoke a while back about going again and we both agreed we were on the fence but there has been a shift in my wife over the last while and it think she is well and truly on the side of going again and is just waiting on me to agree. She's also said if we aren't going again she wants me to get the snip. My head is melted over it. Do I want another kid? 90% yes.... Do I want to go through the pregnancy phase again? No! Has anyone been in a similar situation before? Or have any CONSTRUCTIVE thoughts on the matter?