Friday, August 31

Yes, matter of fact the last couple hours have been slated as free time for me. Nobody is interested in working today. So, as a good little blogger/writer/wannabe-whatever that I am, I had a story come flying through the fingers and zinged onto the computer. Go check it out ...

Heh, that was what Labor day meant to me as a kid for a few years. And then I learned about unionization, etc. Labor day was almost always associated to pregnancy in my mind because I myself am a Labor Day baby. That's right, that lucky day the Reverend Mother popped me out, it was Labor Day. Now, my birthday only falls on Labor day every eleven years, so next time won't be until I am 44. Seems closer than it should be...

Speaking of birthdays, obviously mine is coming next week (take note family members).

Scottsdale Princess had an idea, that I am sure many of us have thought of before. Blogfest. Hell, Texas has one, and even those elegantlyspokensouthernbloggers have their fling in Helen coming up. I know Dazdeven was trying to get one going in Indiana, but couldn't get enough takers at the time. I dunno SP, how many people in AZ would be interested in having one? Heck, who would be interested in planning one. That's probably the hard part. Location and all that. Proximity to air, bus, car travel - food places, liquor stores, and in a nice weather climate. Hell, so much for having one here....

Well, it is Friday, and here my morning is just short of finishing up. Hard to believe I am already pretty much caught up in my work. Wonder how early they will allow us to sneak out of here for the holiday weekend? Not that I have anything special planned. Sis and spoke briefly this morning about going to her place Monday for pool and food, but nothing definite as of yet. All I know is a need to go shopping this weekend for a belt and new pair of work shoes. And Bib overalls. I have been looking all over for some here in Phoenix and cannot find any. I ran into a guy last night that had some fairly new ones on and asked him. He went up to Chino Valley to get his. So I figure it is going to have to be a day trip to some smaller town with more farmers to find me a general store that carries them.

Okay, I think we have pretty much covered anything I can think of off the top of my head - the holiday, birthdays, blogfests, bib overalls, and plans for the holiday. Yup - pretty much covered them subjects good enough. Drop me a line and let me know how you are going to, or have, celebrate(d) your weekend. Except Hoosierboy - I know what you are doing - moving. So is T1G. Sucks to have to do that on a holiday weekend - I feel for ya guys.

Thursday, August 30

Last week Scottsdale Princess had a post and a re-direct to this page. I clicked it and did my small part for humanity. So I sort of feel better. Not that I am a big believer in charities, unless it comes to myself. But Leukemia is not a bad charity.

Several years ago - I am wanting to say like 6 but not sure -my sister was diagnosed with a form of leukemia. Luckily, they were able to catch it somewhat early and her radiation and chemo treatments started. Like in most cases of radiation therapy, she lost her hair. I have a picture somewhere at home of the three of us (bro, sis and I) with our heads shaved/bald. Stuman had his cut down for the Army reserves, and I shaved mine to make Sis feel better.

Anyways, during this time, things had gotten further along that she was going to need a bone marrow transplant. Per past procedures, usually a family member is the best "match" for this type of transplant. My sister had asked me to quit smoking and drinking so that my blood would be pure enough to be tested. I lasted a week before the bro-in-law told me that it made no difference, and that Sis was just seeing how long I would go without a smoke or a drink. I still owe her for that (in case you are reading Sis).

No one in the family matched close enough to donate. Side note - my bro and I matched perfectly if one of us were to have the need. Finally a match was found through the system of national donors, and her transplant took place. For 30 days she was not allowed to leave the hospital as they had to be sure no infections or rejections were taking place. After that, she would be allowed to leave UMC, but had to stay within a couple miles with a caretaker 24 hours a day, and come in for daily treatments still. Fortunately, I was working for my sis & BIL at the time in real estate, and I was the one that traveled to Tucson to stay with her in a furnished apartment. Regardless what the dr's said, each weekend we left and returned to Phoenix as she missed her kids, and I had my family as well. After that month, she returned home and only occasionally had to return for follow up visits.

So after these past years, she has been in complete recovery/remission - whatever ya call it. So I guess donating a few bucks for Leukemia might not be a bad thing. Feel special inside.

Wednesday, August 29

That's how I feel today. I would pay people to give me 10 minutes of time to complete one task without being interrupted. I did get an hour uninterrupted - but it was conference call training session online - didn't get a damn thing off my desk, but backed me up another hour. I have 10 minutes to Beer-Thirty, will it last ?

SO I was trained today on a new online program for a title company that will supposedly cut my job 1/3 of the way off. It will create a better paperless trail, in addition to updating all parties on completed actions and status on a day to day basis. Sounds nifty. I sent a note to all my LO's to be prepared as I am changing what is required when they submit to me. Be interesting to hear the feedback from the whiners. Owners are loving this new program.

Had a nice day of books last night. I stopped at Barnes & Noble for some as I was out and my current order had not arrived. I got the new Lincoln & Preston novel " The Wheel of Darkness" with agent Pendergast. I also picked up Neil Gaimond's "Smoke and Mirrors" and Terry Brooks new one following "Armegeddons Children" but I can't remember the title. then when I got home, my order had arrived so I had "Son of a Witch" sequel to "Wicked", and another cute one called "Do Not Open this Book". I think it was a bunch of short stories in it. Either way - 5 books - should last me about 2 weeks if I stretch it.

Two minutes to Beer-Thirty. I am signing off and out of here. Y'all have a good eve and we'll see ya back tomorrow!

Yesterday was a day wasted in the office. Here I came in on time, got right into clearing things off my desk, and WHAM! 11:00am and phones, e-mail, faxes, and internet all shut down. I cannot do a single thing. The managers told everyone to go ahead and take their lunches, and come back, things might be up by then. Obviously from the tone here, they weren't. Finally at 4pm one of the managers comes by my office and asks me why am I still at work? Uh, because no one said we could leave early, and It's not quitting time. He had let everyone else leave a half hour before - no one tells me anything.

So, to make up for not posting yesterday, I have completely nothing for you to read today except the whine above. Consider yourself lucky to have that much. I need to get back to work, since I now have 2 days worth to do today. ::sigh:: Maybe something more will pop up later.... no, and I don't mean that!

Monday, August 27

And no, I didn't mean that in the Michael Jackson/pedophile way. (wonder how many hits will happen with that word in here)

Friday I took the oldest son to the ball game and he had a blast. I was just beaming inside at the good time he was having, and have made myself a pact, sort of, that next season we will try to get more tickets for the games. He made it through almost the whole game without having to use the bathroom, and actually paid attention and asked questions, etc. He even got a shirt thrown out from the mascot, Baxter.

But it just wasn't he that made it feel good this weekend. Saturday I said I was headed up to watch the Nascar race, and both older boys asked if they could go. Actually, it was more of them asking if they could go with to the big track, which is where they thought I was going. I was actually headed for the pub. So I had to tell them that I wasn't going to the track, but maybe this November when it comes back to PIR, just maybe we could see about tickets. Oh the smiles and shouts of joy!! Now, I need to find some cheap tickets for that event.

Of course, later that evening when I came home. I had the two youngest boys (5 and 1) hollaring "Daddy" and running to hug me when I walked in the door. Hard to beat that feeling. My daughter on the other hand, has totally disowned me, or at least doesn't bother to say much to me. I think all I got over the weekend were answers to questions I directly asked her. Of course, during the week I get the half arm hug, and a "bye" when I drop her off at school. I guess that's something at least. I suppose Reverend Mother feels snubbed at times too when I finish a phone convo with her. She always says Love you, and I just say okay and bye.

Anyways, so I am feeling like one of the best damn daddies out there right now. I know I don't compare to many others, but what my kids don't know (or maybe in this case do know) is what's best. Check out this vid!

Okay, folks! I have to get back to my desk. It is fairly busy day and I have much to get done yet. Til tomorrow.

Friday, August 24

I can't begin to say how very happy I am today is Friday! It has been one hell of a week at work, and it is slowly starting to get better. At least 2-3 more weeks of BS that there is no way around, like, finishing files under the old company name, and getting new licensing for the new company name, and training the LO's the correct way to put a file together, etc, etc. PHEW! I need a couple days of rest!

Oh! And get this - Friday just got better!! I get to leave early, even with the workload on my desk. Why is that? Because a title service has been attempting to get me to use them nationally, and I finally agreed to a meeting this week. For half an hour, they should me what hey can do (it really was impressive) and I said I would switch to them after they send a trainer to me for the system. What did that get me? Pats on the back from the branch owners once I showed them the system and how it will alleviate about 1/2 my paperwork and updates to all parties. PLUS, the Arizona Diamondbacks are playing tonight against the Chicago Cubs, and I have 2 tickets on Row C behind home plate. I mean, we are talking, TV exposure for the d00d!!! So leave work early, pick up the oldest boy, and head downtown for the game!

It's only noon'ish, and I am ready to leave. ::sigh:: Oh well, here is some sick humor for you! Have a good weekend, and we'll see ya Monday!

Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."

Wednesday, August 22

I am a cheating MF'er. I am so damn tired that I don't feel like posting anything worthwhile. And since I feel that way, the Reverend Mother sent me an e-mail story I thought would be cute to share with you. But the only ones that will truly enjoy it are the female readers that have children... anyways, read on.

3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall. By Shannon Popkin __________________________________________

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned- 3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:

"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?" At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see In dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her?

Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"

"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!"

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject.. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside mydoor.

"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?"

More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.

"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!"

I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was complete emabarassment, then I thought, "Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?"

But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.

(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses public restrooms)

Tuesday, August 21

I feel that way with my thoughts today. I start one up, and :ZOOM: it's gone. So today I must apologize for I have no humor for you. No bitchy, whiney, sarcastic comments about life, the job, the family, or anything in general.

I can feel the pressure of EOM coming up already. I have people already asking if their loan is going to close or carry over. Duh, what do you think when this is the third time I have to resend to a new lender. Think about it.

I have an "online" meeting/class here in about 5 minutes. I fucking hate them things. that, and it takes away from working the items on my desk. Damn bosses delegating things down to me to learn for the whole office. Next I suppose they will want me to teach everyone.... more time away from desk. ::sigh:: I can't win.

Monday, August 20

Welcome to Monday afternoon, in case you were lost. After a nice weekend, it feels good to be back in the office, spreading the cheer and joy to all in that way that only I am able to do. Yes, everyone is just over joyous and care-free thanks to me. ::record scratching::

Yeah, we knew something wasn't right there for a moment. Sound like a damn fairy for a second. Though I am happy to be back to work. The weekend was a good refresher for me this time, whereas usually I am dead tired after 2 days of trying to cram too much stuff in the short a time period. I spent Saturday with the family and Sunday was the "boys day". Had some softball, then up to the pub to watch Nascar (which got rained out) and celebrate my friend Ginny's birthday. Still I made it home early enough to spend some more time with family before letting the alcohol catch up and put me to sleep.

Work is great! Considering I feel I have no free time to do anything. It is my lunch break as I take the time to share this with you. I am not sure how my posting is going to change with the workload. I may have to start updating int he evenings, then again, maybe not. I guess we will see which way things go.

I am off to check Nascar.com to see if the driver I have in this weeks pool is winning or not. Maybe tomorrow I will have more to share.

Friday, August 17

Whew! It's Friday again, and I see that since you are reading this, you barely have survived another week as well as I have. Heck, you might have gotten through it a bit better than I. As long as we are both here I guess would be the important thing. How about a smile this morning? Here is some early Friday humor:

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers.The guy says, "Who is this?""This is the maid.", answered the woman."We don't have a maid!""I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house.""Well, this is her husband. Is she there?""Ummm .... she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?""What do I have to do?""I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?""Throw them in the swimming pool!""What?! There's no pool here?"Long pause... "Uh .... is this 221-1811?"

If that one didn't get ya grinning how about this one?

Goldie was sitting on a beach in Florida, attempting to strike up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers.

"Hello, sir," she said, "Do you like movies?"

"Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.

Goldie persisted. "Do you like gardening?"

The man again looked up from his book. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.

Undaunted, Goldie asked. "Do you like pussycats?" With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Goldie, ravaging her as she'd never been ravaged before.

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie dragged herself to a sitting position and panted, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man thought for a moment and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

So, it is Friday, and I have very few plans for the weekend. I am taking the family out for dinner tonight - wherever the Wife wants to go. I am finally getting her to make a decision instead of saying "I don't care". Sunday the softball team is being challenged to a scrimmage game from a rival bar. I hope the guys are up to it. Be nice to have some bragging rights before the season starts back up in September. I'll be there to help them drink down those brewskis and keep score. It seems I inherited that job somehow.

I gotta run for now. Plenty of things to follow up on this morning, but will probably be done by afternoon. Y'all have a good weekend if I don't make it back!

Thursday, August 16

Thanks for the flood of congrats on the promotion. I am already letting it go to my head. This morning has been nice and busy, and this is the first break I have had to drop a line. This afternoon is pretty packed up as well. I have to get status and work the files that are being transferred to me, plus learn how to work the damn stamp machine for mail. I tried to push the mail duty to someone else, but it didn't work. Oh well, just more work.

I started watching "Pathfinder" last night. I got almost an hour into it. Looking to be a very good movie.

I am just drawing blank all of a sudden. That's why I don't like answering the phone at work. I have everyone in a meeting but me and I have to answer the phones....blech!

Okay, I am scooting out of here. I need to clear up some room in my office for all this work I am expecting to come rolling in soon.

Wednesday, August 15

Y'all have heard me whine and moan about how slow things are at work; how I do nothing most of the day but read and surf the 'net. An event has happened today that is taking that all away from me. The sad part is, I don't know if I should be happy or not. Tell me what you think...

I was called into the branch owner's office about an hour ago. Got the "Close the door for a minute", and the cold sweat started down my back. "We (makes him sound bigger I guess) want to hear from you how things are going in Processing."

Oh, the loaded question. They aren't starting with the small stuff. Now the wheels of my mind are trying to figure out what they might be leading up towards - pay increase? Doubtful. Job termination? Possible. Reprimand? Possible. Just wanting information? Possible, but unusual. I am worried now, but I can only play the way I am given the openings for. I explained a few frustrations that are occurring, and we tossed about some explanations, or possible reasons these factors are causing irritation and delay.

Finally we get to the crux of the discussion. Seems the Sr. Processor has turned in his 2 week notice. I am being promoted to his position, and will be the only processor for the company, until either I decide to leave, be terminated or business picks up so much that I cannot handle the load alone. Now I could relax a bit ... and we talked more about the transition from two to one processor, which is happening tomorrow morning, and the Sr. processor will be let go on Friday.

PROMOTION! After doing this job for 7-8 years, I finally become a SR Processor. No pay increase, but my non-existent at the moment job load has doubled, which means my payroll will increase because I am closing twice as many loans. Damn! That's something to be happy about! And here I am sharing it with you first - the Wife has not been told yet! Of course, I couldn't reach her when I tried calling....

So here's the sort of sad part. The Sr. Processor is a friend of mine. We've known each other for 12 years, and he was the one that got me the job in the first place. I'll still see him outside work occasionally, but we had a great working relationship. He has been offered a position at another place that he could not refuse - at least he wasn't actively searching for a new job. So in a way, I guess it isn't THAT sad overall. He's going somewhere that he should have better pay, and I will be making more, plus the title change.

Sometimes, life surprises the hell out of me and treats me really good. I think tonight I will go out and celebrate! Good night to maybe take the cab out instead of driving.... yeah. Good idea! Y'all raise a toast for me tonight if yer out and about!

Seems one of the blogs in my list has recently turned "Invite Only". Over at A Guy, A Blog, and a Photoshop is where this has happened, and I don't have an e-mail address to inquire about it. Does anyone have access there, and if so, could pass me his general email address? I would be much obliged.

A wife complains, "Our wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fellonly seconds after she got up from the couch."

The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was slow."

I never declared to be a wonderful morning person, and today it is very apparent. I read the above joke from my lists, and had to read it three times before my mind became clear enough to understand what I was reading. I feel like I am still waking up, and I have been at work for an hour already. I actually have some stuff to take care of this morning ... and I just ain't awake enough to want to do it. But it will get done sometime today.

I forgot until today, yesterday was the Reverend Mother's wedding anniversary of 26 years I think she said last week. Yippy skip for her. She just likes reading her name on here every now and then - just like Stuman. That way when they Google their name, a site shows up....lol!

Okay, I need to run. The taskmaster is back asking why the stuff he gave me 20 minutes ago isn't done.... Be back later.

Okay, I got some more jokes for ya, fits right in line with the other post today. So if you is still not feeling well, then I guess you should stop reading today. Me? I am getting ready to go to lunch....

One day, a mom was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.This was highly upsetting for her.She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.She finally asked him, " Well what should we do about this?"The dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

Now that wasn't so bad. Made me giggle a little. How's about this one.....

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. ""Mr. Garrett, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Garrett," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

Wokka wokka wokka! And for the grand finale for Tuesday's humor session, your last joke from me today, the funniest one (I think) yet shown today....

Three men had a very late night drinking Guiness. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately. They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker. The first guy claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks." To which the second guy replied, "You think that was drunk? I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!" And the third proclaimed, "I was by far the most drunk. I got home, got in a big fight with my wife, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down!" There was silence for a moment and then the first guy exclaimed, "Listen, guys, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog."

I feel very blank today. I cannot think of anything of interest to write about, I don't even feel like doing anything today - at work or at home. I guess it is just one of those phases, and hopefully it will be short-lived and things will be back to what be normal for me either later today, or tomorrow. Here's a funny I don't know if I have shared before or not....

What is the true meaning of the phrase "tender love"?

Two homosexuals with hemorrhoids.

Geez, sometimes I am just so sick with my humor! Imagine the pictures I could have posted with that joke!! Yeah, just go Google "hemorrhoids" and click images. Share the best ones amongst your friends!

Brings to mind an off sided question: Would Compound-W work on anal warts as well as regular ones? They have that quick new "freeze-off" kind.... sorta feel like an ice cube up your crack I guess.

Okay, so now that you are really grossed out, try to eat your lunch and come back later. I am going surfing to see what sort of fun stuff I can find for you today. Wish me luck! Oh, FOREWARNING!!! If you are at work, be careful scrolling down. Found a nice picture to add to my collection. I hope clicking on it makes it bigger, because otherwise it is too small to tell what it is.... Good Luck!

Monday, August 13

My daughter has me extremely agitated/irritated/vexed - pick one. It all started back when school was let out for the summer. I don't recall anyone telling me about the summer homework assignment, but I do remember receiving notification about it in the mail about 3 weeks later. I quizzed the Daughter about it, and then all of a sudden she recalls being given an assignment. She has to read TH White's "The Once and Future King" and take notes per chapter relating to the plot/storyline/character development, etc. She has all summer to complete the assignment.

Oh! you already guessed what happened? I know you did! That's why we are/were/soon-to-be/mature people know what happened. Two weeks ago, prior to her leave to NAU for a week of band camp, I asked how she was coming along on the book. She said she only had a "little way to go". I expressed the need to get it done and out of the way, as no play time until it was done. She managed to read the whole of Harry Potter #7 that week, but did not bother to bring her reading assignment to camp. Thus, upon her return, I emphasized, to the Wife as well, that no extracurricular stuff was to happen until that report was done. We are now about 10 days before school starting.

I spent yesterday doing my regular Sunday - down at the pub watching the race. I arrive home about 7'ish, and see that someone is int he middle of something on the computer, so I ask what it is. My daughter was transposing her notes on the book to computer to print out. Okay, no big deal. I grabbed a video ("300" which was a bit tame I thought) and us men watched it in the other room. About 9:30 I am headed to bed to read prior to sleeping. The Wife and Daughter are still working on typing up this report. About 11:30 I awake and notice Wife is still not in bed so I go out to find out what is up. They are STILL working on it. I grouchily express my disapproval about waiting to the last minute to finish stuff, considering, school starts the next day and both the Wife and I work as well. I retreated to my bed.

Come 2'ish, no Wife in bed yet. Again I get up and display the fact that I am angrier and more upset about this taking so long compared to the last time I was awake. I recall mentioning some phrases like "You probably do deserve an F on it since you didn't want to spend any F'ing time on it this summer". I was brutal in my disgruntled state. All I knew was I needed to get some sleep, and I sleep better when the wife is in bed with me. I don't know why, just one of those things. Finally I wake again sometime after 3, and realize the Wife has finally come to bed, and I contentedly roll over and sleep through to the alarm going off.

It's 8am, and I just hit snooze for 10 more minutes. I do this every morning until about 8:30 before I rise to face the day. Suddenly the Wife is there telling me something about the last three pages of the Daughter's report didn't save on the computer. I am like, What? Didn't she hit save? Supposedly, since I don't have MS Office, and I use Wordperfect, that it was causing problems with my computer and locking up keys, etc. So they Wife, already late for work, had to re-type the last three pages of the report (which luckily the Daughter had handwritten first). I left for work - wasn't my problem. I spoke to the Wife about 45 minutes ago, and supposedly the Daughter got the report in time for class. So the Wife was about 1 1/2 hours late to work, and I am still irritated at an irresponsible 15 year old. I don't know what I am going to do withe her.... plenty of ideas, but none of them will work. ARGH!!!

In the meantime, it is Monday. Workload was light this morning unfortunately. I now seem to have most of the afternoon free to do nothing. I finished "Eclipse" by Stephanie Meyer yesterday. It was the 3rd book in a series and was just released last Monday. Now I know there is going to be a 4th book, not published for probably a year. I waited 6 months for this one - hoping it would finish the series. I also got in "Mexifornia" and will be starting that one tonight I am sure. I had posted a speech by Sen Lamm several days ago, and it mentioned this book. I read the Prelude, and it does seem interesting.

The middle son had his Birthday party Saturday at the pizza place. He had a great time (for a 5 year old) and I was happy it didn't cost over $100 for all the food and drink for everyone. He now has several more toys for me to step on in the middle of the night. Yee haw.

Okay, I think I am done bitching about things for now. I am off to try to find somewhere on the internet to read something or whatever. Come back tomorrow when I am in a better mood, and maybe I will have something more entertaining.

Friday, August 10

Yeah, I suppose I could be nice and do this every once in awhile. I have an decent sized list of blogs on the sidebar, that I read daily. I know quite a few of you readers have found some favorite places from them (Sailynn I know did). Rest of ya, well, have your own blogs and I prolly found the link originally through you. It don't matter though. Everybody likes some linky-love.

First off we'll mention Big Dick. He's got a nice little queer fight going on over there currently in comments. I had a good laugh at it today. Then he is also talking about maybe shutting down his blog since he is close to having a book published. I think everyone ought to go over and encourage him to keep the site. What would we do without our Fatty Friday pics? And heck, what about the queer bashing and smacking the heads of the political stupid? Yeah, it'd be a bad thing if he closed shop.

Next up is Rex over at Deer Camp. This boy knows how to do a damn fine campfire story, and he has one posted today. Go on and check it out - way freaky! I like them there campfire stories, and even the hunting tales as well. Better than the usual fish tales I been hearing lately. He also has a nice group getting started called the Outdoor Bloggers Summit, and ya don't have to be a blogger to sign up. Check it out.

If ya wanna talk about moving, there is several reads that you can catch. Going alphabetically, you have Dragon's Den, and then there is One More for the Road, and finally Warts 'N All. All three of these ladies have recently moved their families into new residences, and you can sure feel sorry for them as they gripe and moan about everything that isn't going right. I ain't saying they do nothing but whine, but you understand how they feel, especially when things work out right in the end... as we hope they do.

Dang, I was going to keep going on, but I got so many on my list I want to mention, but I would be here typing all day if I did that. Just start going click crazy over there as I am sure you'll find something ya like. In the meanwhiles, I am off to have some lunch, and check with the boss about leaving early today, since I have nothing else to do. I wonder if I can get out of here by 3'ish....

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality.You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex.You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular.Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!).

Let's start off with a little humor, I think. Nothing better than starting the read here with a smile, for more than likely, you won't be when yer ready to leave.

1. Marriage has its good side. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, tolerance, self-restraint, and other valuable qualities you wouldn't need if you'd stayed single.

2. "Everything's neat and tidy in there", said the gynaecologist after the examination."So it should be", said the lesbian. "I have a woman in twice a week."

I see ya smirking there. I know they weren't tremendously funny - it's hard to find a joke that good anymore. Though last night I did actually hear a new one (for me anyways). These two homosexual men were walking down the street. As they passed a mortuary, one turns to the other and says, "Want to go in for a couple stiff ones?"- Sometimes I just crack myself up!

Well, A Guy, A Blog, and a Photoshop should be happy this week. I let him see that management here at Boobies & Beer are able to meet the demand of our name. Since today is Friday, I am finishing up the Big Ten Girl week, and we have a special today - 2 Schools!! First, from the wonderful state of Indiana, located in West Lafayette, my favorite college in America -

(Feel the crowd yell and cheer for the wonderful Boilermakers!!!!)

Yes, some very fine looking ladies from that great institution of higher learning. Today's second school is a neighbor to my beloved Purdue. AllI have to say is, this is what you can expect from this place.SO sorry. I am not such a big fan of Ohio St. Hope you were able to get your mouth shut before making a mess on your keyboard.

I am outta here for the time being! I have some actual work to complete, plus all my daily reads. I am sure I will be returning at some point today to add more for you to enjoy. Be good.

Thursday, August 9

I got this e-mail from the StepDad today. I found it somewhat interesting, so am passing along to you. I do not know if it is a factual piece (concerning names etc.) but it had some valid points either way.

We know Dick Lamm as the former Governor of Colorado. In that context his thoughts are particularly poignant. Last week there was an immigration overpopulation conference in Washington , DC, filled tocapacity by many of America's finest minds and leaders. A brilliant college professor by the name of Victor Hansen Davis talked about his latest book, "Mexifornia," explaining how immigration - both legal andillegal was destroying the entire state of California . He said it would march across the country until it destroyed all vestiges of The American Dream.

Moments later, former Colorado Governor Richard D. Lamm stood up and gave a stunning speech on how to destroy America. The audience sat spellbound as he described eight methods for the destruction of theUnited States. He said, "If you believe that America is too smug, too self- satisfied, too rich, then let's destroy America . It is not that hard to do. No nation in history has survived the ravages of time. Arnold Toynbee observed that all great civilizations rise and fall and that 'An autopsy of history would show that all great nations commit suicide.'"

"Here is how they do it," Lamm said: "First, to destroy America , turn America into a bilingual ormulti-lingual and bicultural country." History shows that no nation can survive the tension, conflict, and antagonism of two or more competing languages and cultures. It is a blessing for an individual to bebilingual; however, it is a curse for a society to be bilingual. The historical scholar, Seymour Lipset, put it this way: "The histories of bilingual and bicultural societies that do not assimilate are historiesof turmoil, tension, and tragedy."

Canada, Belgium, Malaysia, and Lebanon all face crises of national existence in which minorities press for autonomy, if not independence. Pakistan and Cyprus have divided. Nigeria suppressed an ethnicrebellion.

France faces difficulties with Basques, Bretons, and Corsicans."

Lamm went on:

Second, to destroy America , "Invent 'multiculturalism' and encourage immigrants to maintain their culture. Make it an article of belief that all cultures are equal. That there are no cultural differences. Make itan article of faith that the Black and Hispanic dropout rates are due solely to prejudice and discrimination by the majority. Every other explanation is out of bounds.

Third, "We could make the United States an 'Hispanic Quebec' without much effort. The key is to celebrate diversity rather than unity. As Benjamin Schwarz said in the Atlantic Monthly recently: "The apparentsuccess of our own multi-ethnic and multicultural experiment might have been achieved not by tolerance but by hegemony. Without the dominance that once dictated ethnocentricity and what it meant to be an American,we are left with only tolerance and pluralism to hold us together." Lamm said, "I would encourage all immigrants to keep their own language and culture. I would replace the melting pot metaphor with the salad bowlmetaphor. It is important to ensure that we have various cultural subgroups living in America enforcing their differences rather than as Americans, emphasizing their similarities."

"Fourth, I would make our fastest growing demographic group the least educated. I would add a second underclass, unassimilated, undereducated, and antagonistic to our population. I would have this second underclass have a 50% dropout rate from high school."

"My fifth point for destroying America would be to get big foundations and business to give these efforts lots of money. I would invest in ethnic identity, and I would establish the cult of 'Victimology.' I would get all minorities to think that their lack of success was the fault of the majority. I would start a grievance industry blaming allminority failure on the majority population."

"My sixth plan for America's downfall would include dual citizenship, and promote divided loyalties. I would celebrate diversity over unity. I would stress differences rather than similarities. Diverse peopleworldwide are mostly engaged in hating each other - that is, when they are not killing each other. A diverse, peaceful, or stable society is against most historical precedent. People undervalue the unity it takesto keep a nation together. Look at the ancient Greeks. The Greeks believed that they belonged to the same race; they possessed a common language and literature; and they worshipped the same gods. All Greecetook part in the Olympic games. A common enemy, Persia, threatened their liberty. Yet all these bonds were not strong enough to overcome two factors: local patriotism and geographical conditions that nurturedpolitical divisions. Greece fell. "E. Pluribus Unum" -- From many, one. In that historical reality, if we put the emphasis on the 'pluribus' instead of the 'Unum,' we will balkanize America as surely as Kosovo."

"Next to last, I would place all subjects off limits; make it taboo to talk about anything against the cult of 'diversity.' I would find a word similar to 'heretic' in the 16th century - that stopped discussion andparalyzed thinking. Words like 'racist' or 'xenophobe' halt discussion and debate. Having made America a bilingual/bicultural country, having established multi-culturism, having the large foundations fund thedoctrine of 'Victimology,' I would next make it impossible to enforce our immigration laws. I would develop a mantra: That because immigration has been good for America , it must always be good. I would make everyindividual immigrant symmetric and ignore the cumulative impact of millions of them."

In the last minute of his speech, Governor Lamm wiped his brow. Profound silence followed. Finally he said,. "Lastly, I would censor Victor Hanson Davis's book "Mexifornia." His book is dangerous. It exposes theplan to destroy America . If you feel America deserves to be destroyed, don't read that book."

There was no applause. A chilling fear quietly rose like an ominous cloud above every attendee at the conference. Every American in that room knew that everything Lamm enumerated was proceeding methodically,quietly, darkly, yet pervasively across the United States today. Discussion is being suppressed. Over 100 languages are ripping the foundation of our educational system and national cohesiveness. Evenbarbaric cultures that practice female genital mutilation are growing as we celebrate 'diversity.' American jobs are vanishing into the Third World as corporations create a Third World in America - take note ofCalifornia and other states - to date, ten million illegal aliens and growing fast. It is reminiscent of George Orwell's book "1984." In that story, three slogans are engraved in the Ministry of Truth building:"War is peace," "Freedom is slavery," and "Ignorance is strength."

Governor Lamm walked back to his seat. It dawned on everyone at the conference that our nation and the future of this great democracy is deeply in trouble and worsening fast. If we don't get this immigrationmonster stopped within three years, it will rage like a California wildfire and destroy everything in its path especially The American Dream.

All I gotta say is I have ordered the book, and plan on reading it over the weekend....

... I can tell already. Here I am at work barely an hour or so, and I am already posting. I haven't done my daily reads yet, but still ... this lack of work is driving me insane. Even if it is just a short trip for me....

Okay, might as well get the next Big Ten school up here for the week. Tomorrow will be the last ones I am doing, and for bonus because I like Fridays, I'm doing 2 schools. I know, you ladies are soooooo excited about coming here tomorrow, huh? Too bad this place isn't called Beefcake and Beer, ay?

Guess which pic is my wife and you could win - Naw! I am just kidding! She is not in any of these pics. I would be struck by lightning from above if I did something like that, without her knowing. Today is the Reverend Mother's birthday, and I have got to get out and get some present for her yet. She gave me a few ideas the other night.

Okay, and here is some extra humor I found laying around. Thought I could have it take up some space here.

A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist and cannot see condoms on the shelf.

Frustrated, the deaf mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter and puts down a five dollar bill next to it.

The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf mute, then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language.

"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."

Wednesday, August 8

I don't know if I have shared this one before or not, but here goes ...

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been?" "Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it". And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realising what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said. To which he whirled around and screamed, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN - DON'T YOU EVER STOP?"

I have a happy 5 year old at home. He was extremely happy at just the few gifts we let him open last night. The rest of them he will open Saturday at his party. Since his older brother and sister have laptop computers, he has been pining for one. So we found a Spiderman laptop that helps teach spelling, mathematics, etc. and has a couple games. He flipped out. It's good to see these things on occasion.

Work has almost come to a standstill. Today is the day we officially change our name to our new company name. I am still waiting to see if the old company is coming in to claim the open files we still have, or allow us to complete them. Either way nothing new has crossed my desk in the last week due to these changes.

Okay, so I think we covered all the news I have for you now. Let's move on to today's update of Big Ten girls. So far we have seen Illinois and Iowa. For Hump day, I think we will pull up ...

I tell you what, all these pics are making me anxious for football to start up and see all them fine looking cheerleaders out on the sidelines doing their best. Yessirree Bob! Stay tuned til next time - ya never know what is going to show up here.

Tuesday, August 7

My middle son turns five years old today. I remember before he came along it was much quieter. Even with the addition of the youngest, it was still quieter. Boy #2 is my chatterbox. Not only is he seemingly to constantly be talking about whatever, but his word pronunciation is not the greatest. Half the time I tell him to slow down so I can understand, or help him say the correct way to say the word. Yes, used to be quieter. And now he starts kindergarten this fall too. Damn, I am feeling older.

I was over reading my dailies today, and I decided to do something nice - just because I feel more human when I do it. I want y'all to click this here link, and go vote for Big Dick's Place on this interviewer type thingy website. Vote more than once if ya want. Last I was there he was down only 3 votes from the lead. Go give him some support - at least we know it won't be jock supporting!

Okay, let's move on to something that probably makes me smile more - well, at least come in a close second. Today we have a few girls from yet another Big Ten school that many of you in the mid-west know of...So what kind of competition can a state full of Hawkeyes give us today? Let's see what made the blog... continue on!

Yeah, well, them Hawks must have some good eyes, 'cause them was some nice looking young ladies, yah, sure ya bet ya!! Okay folks. I am out for now, and maybe back later. Y'all have a good one and be sure to be back tomorrow....

Monday, August 6

I never really went to college. Sure I took one course, but dropped it (another post entirely). But as I began to read through the blog list today, Guy from 'A Guy, a Blog, and a Photoshop' had a few nice things to say about here. So, just for Guy, this week I am going to post some pics of the girls from my favorite college division - the Big Ten. Pre-warning: some nudity involved. So before I move on, here is today's school.

So there ya have it, Guy. Some nice looking wimmins for ya to enjoy yourself with. Have at!

Beginnings of the week have got to be my worst days. I have no motivation to get going to work, to do anything at work. But if it were like Tuesday after a three day weekend - no problems getting up and going. One of those subconscious things I guess, that I don't care for Mondays.

I took the kids Saturday to see Harry Potter. They were very happy. I had looked up the times online for the theater, then when we got there, it turns out it was the IMAX version. Soooo, not only was it on a bigger screen, but had about 25-30 minutes of it in 3D towards the end of the movie. Was pretty cool. My daughter finished book 7 this past week, and has now passed it on to the oldest son.

Alright I am not motivated enough right now to post anything else. Maybe I will get lucky and something will happen. If not, there's always tomorrow.

Friday, August 3

Yes, as you can tell, I am happy it is Friday. Seems like every night this past week I have dreamed that when I wake up, I will be bale to actually lay back in bed and relax, because it is Saturday morning rather than a work day. It's so depressing first thing in the morning to be disappointed because of the day of the week.

Today should be somewhat interesting day. My oldest son has come to work with me today since he has been asking what I do for employment. I am getting ready to lay down some basic rules for the office and home lives we have, like, you can't say some of the words I say at work. That's probably the biggest one. Either way, he brought in his Gameboy and a DVD player in case he gets a little bored watching me push papers around my desk.

Noting else really exciting today. The daughter comes back from band camp (no 'American Pie' comments please) tomorrow so I think I will be taking the family to go see 'Harry Potter' or maybe 'Transformers'. I haven't decided which one yet. The kids are out of school for just one more week then they all start back. Yesterday we registered the middle boy for kindergarten.

Welp, I am off to do my reads and whatever else I can do work-wise. Hope y'all have a good weekend and we can catch up then.

Thursday, August 2

Okay, well things have been slow enough here at work today, that I took a trip through the sewers of my mind, and actually came up with something. I began an outline, and have proceeded with a second installment for you, my esteemed readers. the outline I have will ast me a ways, with something actually to write about instead of just rambling. I now have purpose, and direction. So, without further waiting her eit is - and let me know if it starts to suck... Cuz then I'll have to cry about it and so on. No, but I would like to hear constructive criticism if ya got some.

Chapter 2

It was bright out this morning, but the sun was at my back as I walked down the street. It felt good to stretch the legs this way, and my mind was working overtime as the sidewalk cruised by under my heels. The main questions I had I presume a person with amnesia would normally have: Who am I? Why can’t I remember past a certain point? I quick glance around shows me I could be anywhere in the US. The license had a Santa Monica address, but it wasn’t humid enough to be there. It felt warm enough to be California, just not near the coast. My guess it wasn’t California at all. ‘Let’s take this in baby steps,’ I tell myself. ‘Find out where you are and then get some food. Priorities.’

Perfect. Ahead I see a shabby looking Waffle House. Good place for information, a paper, and food. As I push open the door, I realize by the look and smell of the place, not very many middle class people come here. Hesitating, I wonder if I should even stay, but the need for info was dire. I walk over to the counter and sit, trying not to look around. As the waitress comes over with the menu, I ask for coffee, black. Seems I remember that I like it that way at least. Without opening the menu I decide on breakfast and push the greasy flyer away.

The waitress returns with my coffee, and I place my order. Her nametag says “Tina”, but she sure doesn’t look like one – like I would know. No smile as she walks away. I must have read too many novels where they always smile at the lone guy. When she comes back with my meal, I try some small talk.

“So, Tina, what brings you to work in a place like this?” Yeah, I am smooth like that.

“Three kids and an alcoholic husband that doesn’t work, plus the fact I like to keep a roof over my head. What the fuck do you care?” Now I get a pissed off look as she walks away. I decide my quest for info is going to have to go somewhere else. I finish eating and leave enough to cover the bill.

Stepping outside I see a newspaper stand. Through the glass I can see that it is Thursday, July 17th and I am in the delivery area of the Arizona Republic. Now I can see why it is so hot, and this is probably Phoenix. I glance around, and up the road yet I see something that changes my mind – Casa Grande Auto parts yard. Hmmm, let’s try south of Phoenix a ways. I poke my head back inside the Waffle House and catch Tina’s eye.

“How hard to get a cab here?”

“Where ya headed that ya need a cab? Most everything is in walking distance.”

“Need to get to the bus depot.”

“Might as well walk it. Two miles back the way you come from. It is quicker than trying to get a cab over this side of town.”

I nod my thanks and start heading back the way I had been from. Now I had part of a destination in mind, where should I go from there? I flipped through the wallet to see if there were any numbers I could call, but the ID card and cash was all it contained. Who was the guy that called me earlier? How did I get in touch with him? I looked up just as I was passing the hotel I had been at. Quickly I walked in the door.

“Back for another night?” asks the desk clerk.

“No, actually, has housekeeping been through my room yet? I forgot a duffle bag in there. Could I run up and get it?”

“Housekeeping don’t start for another hour. I suppose I could let you up real quick. Here’s the key.”

I pick up the key and head out the door. I am feeling like I need to rush, but I don’t know why. Maybe it is just eagerness to try my idea. The door opens nicely. I scan the room and see the duffle lying where I left it. A quick look verifies what I thought – empty. I sit on the bed, and rest my face in my hands. I need to figure out someone that can help me fill in some blanks desperately. Outside the door, I hear a payphone ring. After several rings, I wonder if I should go pick it up or not. Then I got a hot flash.

My eyes riveted over to the room phone. I pick it up and hit redial. Several beeps go off – too long to be a local call. Can’t tell if international or long distance though. Like I would know the difference I think… maybe I would. On the other end it starts to ring, and my heart starts to beat faster. Four, five rings. On the seventh ring, I hear it pick up.

Today has been one of those weird days - I mean weird like, you feel like nothing is getting done, but in actuality, everything is caught up and you are left there sitting thinking 'What did I do?'Nobody has really spoken to me today, and I have cleared off half my desk. Something is wrong here. Or maybe they listened yesterday when I ripped off the head of anyone that walked into my office - managerial or not. It bring s a good feeling to think that someone actually listened to measly little ol' me.

Wednesday evenings are kind of nice around my place. The Reverend Mother picks up my older kids (all but the baby) and takes them church for the evening meal, or when they are not doing meals (summer) to a restaurant prior to church classes. I am not a religious person, but that all goes to another post... Anyways, RM then brings the kids home a little after 8pm. I thought I would be a nice husband, come home after work instead the usual stop-over at the pub, and spend some time with the Wife whilst most of the kids are gone. So I get home about 6, changed clothes and was reading one of my books ("The Historian") and fell asleep. My wife comes home and wakes me at 8pm. I asked where she had been - I had told her we were going to have supper together without the kids. She had forgotten. Can you believe that? Forgotten about a 'date' with me? Plus she had stopped and picked up her own supper, but nothing for me. I felt so loved last night. Of course about that time, RM was home with the kids, and I basically went back to bed. I slept good. Maybe that is another reason today is so weird. Usually I am fighting to stay awake at my desk.

So anyone in the mortgage/real estate biz? How do you like all that is happening around? I just lost another 2 deals due to a lender shutting it's doors unexpectedly. It's killing business left and right. Even banks are starting to close doors. I check mortgage implode every day to see if any are closing that day that I am using or not.

Okay, enough rambling on about stuff today. I did find a funny pic for you today. I don't care what ya say, that's funny!PeacE

Wednesday, August 1

I had mentioned a couple weeks back or so, that I had downloaded and started running Firefox as my browser. I am mostly running it from a USB memory stick at work, as the IE they have there does not allow Flash/Shocklwave/or videos to be played.

Has anyone else using Firefox had problems? Today, I was submitting some information at one of our Lenders, and kept having system errors on their website. After a call to tech support, it was because I was using Firefow instead of IE. I switched over and was able to finish.

Since I was in IE already, I hoped over to my sight and I see that when I copied/pasted my story to the post, it left alot of "line codes" between paragraphs. That had never happened before. I went in and editted them out. I still like Firefox, but what other problems may I expect out there? Anyone have any stories?