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Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Catching Up: We've Had A Game Changer

Where do I start?? THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG POST with LOTS of words & LOTS of pictures! Just beware:) I've put off writing this post because I really don't know what to say or where to begin to share how we got to where we are right now. First of all, I want to stress that I know what I'm about to share is something that happens to women everyday. In fact, much worse news is given to pregnant mothers everyday. Much worse! As I've share our little family's stories here over the past three years-I felt it was just another chapter in our book & needed to be recorded as a part of Baby A #2's arrival...& I wanted to share why life has changed so much for us in the past week.

We were just getting settled in & familiar with our new home in North Dakota, when I finally got an appointment for the OBGYN. About a week before we moved, I went to my doctor in Knoxville, TN. My ultrasound showed that my cervix had shrunk below the average length they'd like it to be. I went a couple days later to have it checked again before our move & it hadn't shrunk anymore...but it hadn't gotten better. The baby also had a small place on his brain (similar to the scare we had with Cam-read here) & they hadn't been able to measure his heart during the anatomy check because he was such a wiggle worm! Needless to say, as we were moving half way across the country...I was anxious to see a doctor & monitor all that they had found that week before we left.

After we arrived & settled into North Dakota, time ticked on & on. I contacted the local OBG's & they continuously put me off week after week. After several phone calls, I finally decided to get ahold of my old doctors office in Knoxville & (I believe) after they consulted with the new office that kind of got the ball rolling & I was finally contacted about scheduling an appointment.At that time they informed me that they had reviewed my history & wanted to start giving me progesterone injections since I had a short cervix. They also said that I needed to realize that I was at risk for preterm labor & there was no NICU unit anywhere close by should I actually have the baby prematurely. Okayyyyy. That did not settle well with us. In fact, that really scared us. So Cam & I headed out the next week to the appointment. The appointment ended up being strictly concerned with billing, while Cam was strictly concerned with the play area <He has asked me everyday since if we were going to the doctor so he could play with the farm tractor.> I, on the other hand, was in panic mode because they quickly informed us that our insurance would not cover any of our debt for maternity care & practically led me out the door. No coverage, no NICU, & we have no clue about who the doctors are or what the hospital care is like.

I was sick. I wanted to just lay in the floor, cry, & question what God was doing. (Crazy, I know after what other people go through everyday-but I'm human & unfortunately tend to have trouble trusting God when things don't always go my way or the way I plan them). Why now? Why this? I was with my husband, we had finally just gotten ourselves somewhat settled into the new apartment, we were just getting our little daily routines down pat, practically everything we owned was in North Dakota...I just didn't understand.Cade & I had several conversations. We didn't know what to do, but we knew that our baby came first. If he came early, & had to be transported several hours to the nearest place to be cared for...would he make it? Would those hours harm him? Would the hospital itself be able to handle the situation? You just worry when you are unfamiliar with everything in a new place.

That very week, (bizarrely & ironically enough) I was contacted about a part time job in our hometown that would allow me to work 2-3 days a week, not have to drive an hour to work everyday, & still get to stay at home with my boys for part of the week. Isn't that crazy? It was hard to wonder if God wasn't trying to tell us something...

Missed some of the states on our journey home!

With troubled hearts, we made the decision that Cam & I would come home. We knew I needed to be at my doctor in Knoxville, & thought that the job would be a good opportunity while I was home for the baby. It's not that we didn't miss our families or the South but, we just wanted to be together. We made the decision knowing that there was a reason that this had all happened in the span of a week-despite our unanswered questions & disbelief in how our plan had been altered. In the end, we know God's ultimate plan will be that we can be together but until then, we wait & we trust.

Cade totally snuck Ony into the Holiday Inn Express...

After two days of driving straight, we got to have a nice "last family day out" in Nashville & rolled into Knoxville Tuesday night. We dropped Cade off at the airport Wednesday morning & my appointment was that afternoon. I went into my ultrasound with a feeling like we were about to get an answer as to why this had all happened. The sonographer quickly informed me that the baby was three pounds exactly, & his heart looked great & the spot once on the brain had disappeared! //Thank the Lord:)// But... she definitely had noticed that my cervix had shrunk some more. I was escorted to a room immediately (originally since I had scheduled the appointment so late, I was supposed to have waited another hour on my appointment).

Enjoying a muffin at Fido Nashville

We scoped out the biggest choo choo's & planes we could find-he is obsessed;)

My doctor was booked up when I had called to make the appointment & couldn't see me that day, so I was seeing a midwife. One of our sweet friends who is the office manager at the office, came into talk to me. She kind of told me what was going on, said that my doctor was going to come over from the hospital to look at the ultrasound, & went to get my mom so I could have another set of ears available for all the information I was going to receive. The midwife came in shortly after & informed me that my cervix had pretty much shrunk to nothing (almost an another entire centimeter in a month). I was at a big risk for premature labor. I was given orders to be on bed rest other than going to the bathroom, showering, & getting something to eat. That job I talked about? Well, I guess it really didn't sink in what they were telling me because, (given that I was supposed to start Friday) I was kind of worried about what to do. I asked..."There's this job I'm supposed to start Friday? "Absolutely not unless this job allows you to lie in bed!" was my answer. Wow. It was kind of hard to sink in after never imagining that this was going to be the outcome of the appointment. The scariest thing was talking about how I would be receiving two steroid shots within the next day to help the baby's lungs develop. Along with a few other medications to put off going into labor. Can it really be about to happen that soon? I thought we still had 3 months to go before we would meet our little boy. There's so much to do! He won't be able to come home with me...You can imagine all the things that saturate your thought stream when you're not expecting such news.

I don't know when our sweet baby boy will come. I hope we can delay an early arrival, but God has a plan & reason for all of this. After the appointment, I told Cade I couldn't believe my disbelief in God & what he was doing that entire past week. I of course, know how to care for myself during pregnancy & am always cautious with what I do during this time-my babies are my life. But that being said, I am not an easy going person. I don't sit still & I don't like for people to help me when I can do for myself. How God brought me home safely after moving twice & traveling 1800 miles twice across the country blows my mind. He has truly blessed me with a great doctor (and staff), family to help out, & take such great care of Cam & I during this time. What would I do without Him looking after me & leading me back home to be cared for? It scares me now to think of what could have happened.

In all of this, I know the Lord has taken care of me this far & he is most certainly able to care for us in whatever may happen next. It could be that we meet our little man within the next few weeks or it could be that this little frame of time will help us to prolong my pregnancy to what it should be. Whatever the outcome, everything will be alright:) Stay tuned!;)

Hi Cassidy,Oh my can't believe how things turned out..........You do what those Drs. say sweetie, I know it is hard to stay down but justremember staying down means baby stays in longer hopefully.I am not surprised you were struggling hon, you just moved and were totallyout of your element and had left every thing you were familiar with, thatis pretty normal I would say.Will be praying for you and Cade and Cam, know this must be hard on them too.and thank Heavens you have a good family and Drs. and Ins. now.That was a very hard but wise decision...............Take care,Love and Blessings Hon,Nellie

Hi Cassidy, I just found your blog, via Nellies. Wow, you have been through the ringer. I am sending you healing thoughts for you, your baby boy and family. Hang in there. I know it can be tough, but you want to give him a goof fighting chance. Happy weekend.