Hattus is the divine worship of hatual objects worn upon ones head. The main goal of Hattus is to "be one with the Hat". A follower of Hattus knows he must follow the Way of the Hat in order to destroy all that is evil and preserve the path of Hattus. Hattus rituals include the well-known religious holidays such as "The Slapping of the Fish Against Your Face for Seven Hours While Wearing a Swedish Top Hat" and "Wear Nothing But a Hat and a Jock Strap to Work" festivals.