Friday, November 9, 2007

This is a good question indeed. I remember a much different me. It is almost as if it wasn't me. So horrible are these images of my past. The things I remember doing and saying and feeling are not in tune with who I am today. It was as if something left me. Maybe it was just my anger, but it was a profound release. An anger that was so strong it had it's own name, and an army of psychosis behind it. It was not all my anger or negativity, and I don't think I realized at the time what I done. It moved through me and it was painful and I screamed for help, but no one was there to help - not physically, anyway.

I feel remarkably different. Who is this? I am constant change. I am never and naught. I am not I. That way, I can be be what it wants to be.

I haven't been doing my practice for over two weeks. I did a bit this week, but I am fretting. I need to calm down and make the wealth happen instead of letting thoughts of scarcity rule my thoughts.

"What you are aware of, you become conscious of." ~Lungold

This is what happens. Where one places their attention is what becomes manifest, in other words. I need to create wealth and abundance for myself and my family. Regardless of any bad feelings or selfish parenting on my mom and dad's part, I have to help them. They need to be uplifted, and no one else is going to do that for them.

My best friend, I want to help her too. Just so that she can relax for a bit. She is so full of kindness and love. My other best friend, he needs an art studio.

There are kids starving in the world, and people driving around in cars and SUVs like oblivious fools. Fuck, the money is useless without the intentions behind it. Just a pocket full of paper and plastic. I will send out my intention, as a whole lot seems to depend on me and the Universe will respond to me. It has in the past for the bad stuff! This time, the good stuff will happen and manifest.

Bless.

So I draw here, and NOW, the abundance of wealth that I know the universe would like to impart on me.