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George Foreman had made billions and billions of currency units by selling his famous grill. He was sitting pretty. At the top of the tree. Numero Uno. And so on. That was until the arrival of the Griller Monsoon, the brainchild of ex-wrestler Gorilla Monsoon. He had been watching the success of Foreman's grill very carefully, planning to strike at any time with his own model. It was bigger, faster, hungrier, cleverer, Monsoonier and had that je ne sais quoi that Foreman's didn't: it had a pun. He released the Griller Monsoon to a shocked world and so began the infamous Grill War - nobody who had ever used a grill would be the same again.

George was not happy, oh no not happy at all, but Gorilla didn't care. His Griller Monsoon was officially named The Best Product Ever by Sir Robert Walpole and if you knew how much grilled meat Walpole ate you would know that was quite some recommendation. Foreman's response was drastic. He cried and cried and cried until his body was entirely dry of any liquid whatsoever.

The Summer of the BBQ was one of the most damaging incidents to occur to the Griller. People turned their backs on the Griller and instead barbequed everything they could. Even Monsoon's good friend Cardinal Jesse Ventura was spotted hunched over one on his back patio. It was reportedly said that he 'didn't have time to bleed'. This had no relevance to the situation and confused a number of people, Monsoon included, and they haven't spoken since. That was probably the greatest tragedy of The Summer of the BBQ.

Monsoon has enjoyed such success with his grill that even Donald Trump, that man famed for having no envy, indeed admits he has felt envy. He was recently honoured at the MTV European Music Awards though no-one really knew why and it's been suggested that Justin Timberlake should have won Best Male instead of Monsoon. It is rumoured that Monsoon will soon release the Fryer Monsoon; however, it sounds so awful I doubt it will happen. I mean, that's not even a joke. Fryer Monsoon? I don't get it.