17 Harsh Truths About The Older Boyfriend

Are you a high school freshman dating a college freshman? A 23-year-old dating her 50-year-old boss? Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend? Continue reading.

1. However cool it makes you is exactly how lame it makes him. You might feel like Joan Jett when he picks you up in his Seville outside the high school in front of all your friends, but he is being mercilessly mocked by all of the women in his life for dating a 14-year-old.

2. It's not super-sweet and romantic of him when he buys you beer and/or gets you a fake. If you're an inexperienced drinker who feels it after 2 bottles of Mike's Hard, that benefits him, not you.

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3. Among the biggest reasons that he likes you is because you're young. Yes, he might be into you because you like the same bands and you act "mature for your age." (Has he ever told you that you have "an old soul?" Puke.) But mostly, it's the fact that he's your first. Not necessarily just sexually, but myriad other ways, too: The first guy you watch The Godfather with, the guy who buys you a copy of Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of The Moon," the first one in the passenger's seat as soon as you get your learner's permit... Being the older, wiser man is a power trip for him. And that's all about him, not about you.

4. And if he's your boss, the said power trip he is getting off on should be overt. Unless it's just a fun, sexy, baggage-free throw-you-over-your-desk situation where nobody gets hurt at the end.

5. There's probably a reason no woman his age wants to date him. Don't stick around long enough to find out why.

6. Defending your relationship will frequently ruin your friendships. You'll end up alienating the friends who are dropping truth-bombs such as the one above. Next thing you know, he's your closest friend as well as your boyfriend — which creates a co-dependent dynamic that's bad for any relationship.

8. Whether or not you tell your parents about him or not, it's a lose-lose. If not, the sneaking around, lies and secrets will strain your relationship. And if you tell them, you'll deal with all-out fights.

9. This is probably a pattern for him. No matter how special he insists you are, the chances are that he's been dating younger girls for years.

10. Yes, he might have sex with you and then bail. I know hearing that is like sticking a fork in your chest and ripping your heart out. It's true, though.

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11. Sleeping with him might be a bigger emotional deal for you than you think. Maybe you're sure that you won't be dramatic about it, like "other girls." But that shit tends to sneak up on you. And it doesn't mean you're weak or naïve— it just means that you value yourself. Which is mature, by the way.

12. If he's married, he's not going to leave his wife for you. Which is one of those things where, yeah, it could happen, it has happened, but asteroids also hit the Earth occasionally and we all still leave our houses without wearing full-body protective Plexiglass domes. Enough said.

13. He might be running from a bad relationship with a woman his age. If he had a nasty breakup with (or for older men, a nasty divorce from) someone in his demographic, there's a good shot that's why he's with you — someone who, ostensibly, can't hurt him. But he can hurt you. It's like a Chain of Pain up in here.

14. It's great how you guys are on the same emotional level, right! (Wrong.) He's in a different generation than you; he shouldn't be a decade behind emotionally. That's like valuing a 30-year-old because he has the math aptitude of a middle schooler.

15. He gets along so well with your friends! Awesome! (Nope.) See above.

16. It's probably not going to last. Let me rephrase that: It probably shouldn't last, because as you get older, you'll change (which is normal and great so don't fight it! It's the emotional version of going from breast buds to boobs!) and want different things.

17. If he ends it because you're too young, let him. That means he's actually a decent guy. And maybe somewhere down the road, things will be different for both of you. But the only way for that to happen is to let it end when it's supposed to.