Total Recall

Just no.

Sci-fi futurism gets smothered with banality in the barely remade Total Recall. Bored with having a steady job in a dystopian Earth that's 98% uninhabitable, factory worker Quaid (a remarkably lifeless Colin Farrell) visits the memory-altering Rekall spa. A quick session to be the secret agent of his dreams later, and Quaid is being hunted in a drastically dull chase by paramilitary forces and his psychotic sleeper agent wife (Kate Beckinsale) who want the secrets in his scrambled brains. Questions of identity and what's real are ditched for lazy exposition, the standard gun-fu and a bizarrely inserted third act quest to stop a robot invasion. Though nothing's as silly as the scattered scenes where the Farrell, Jessica Biel and others freshman philosophize on the nature of memory. Trust me, you'll wish you could wipe this one from your mind.