Friday, August 05, 2005

Regular or Unleaded?

Where’s my soapbox?

Today at work, I overheard two people debating the recent controversy regarding the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andres and its rating change from “M” (for, Mature) to “AO” (for, Adults Only) and I have to say I don’t even know where to begin my rant. Or when to stop. If ever.

Do I begin by noting that this game was already rated M and therefore wasn’t supposed to be viewed by anyone under 17 years of age? Or that the change to an AO rating only supposedly delays the buying age by one year? Do I then ask if those pushing for the rating change actually think that at 17 someone is too young to handle the sex, but at 18 are suddenly more mature? Or that at 17 the violence is ok, but the sex is not? Perhaps I could begin by noting, as I would think should be obvious, that the entire stated purpose of the freakin’ game is to commit as many felonious acts as possible, any of which, if committed in reality, would check you into the Hotel Gray Bar for a minimum of 20 years. Then I could underscore the hypocrisy by asking why in the Hell does the game's content suddenly matter just because it deals with sex? I could ask parent and politician alike why they had no visible problem when the game was only about murder, assault, car-jacking, shootouts with the police, hit and run, and other anti-social acts, but suddenly rose to protest when it was discovered there are hidden sex scenes in the game’s programming (provided the gamer is computer savvy enough to download and install the modification required to unlock it).As well I could inquire why so many parents, when interviewed about the hidden programming, admitted that they allow their underage child to play the game despite knowing the child is a significant number of years below the suggested minimum age. Or wonder, yet again, why American society displays a fundamental intolerance toward anything sexual, but seems to accept violence as if it’s not only ok, but entertainment.

Has our culture really become that rotten at it’s core? Where we’ll turn a blind eye to something that turns murder into sport? Or pay $7.50 to see a particularly bad movie remake of a mediocre television show just because it stars a nubile, big-breasted blond in tight shorts? Or suggesting political policies that ignore proven science simply because a small percentage of people still choose to believe the world is flat? Or our insistence on inserting an apostrophe when using the possessive “its?”

I could rant about all these things, ad nauseum, and I might feel better for a while despite the fact that I believe it would result in no meaningful change in anybody. Or, better yet, I could strip naked, douse myself in gasoline and run flapping down the interstate in search of the eventual blessed release of "death by cop." Turn it into a video game and I’ll bet twelve year olds everwhere could buy it at Wal-Mart for $49.95; unless of course you could actually see my nakedness - then it would be banned.