1. Identify what went wrong in your relationship and what could have triggered things to spiral downward.

2. Keep your cool when you see your ex. A few slow breathes keep you calm. Take five slow ones as soon as you see her.

3. Forgive your ex; don’t let negative feelings fester to the point at which you become resentful.

4. Give your ex the benefit of the doubt rather than assuming she is out to hurt you. You’ll be surprised at how this error for margin makes it easier for you to get back together.

5. Don’t put on a facade so that your ex will show interest in you again.

6. Get honest opinions about both the relationship and your ex from friends you can trust.

7. Don’t overwhelm your ex with gifts and letters. You can’t win her back by giving her incentives to want to date you again.

8. Don’t make ridiculous promises that you can’t keep in order to entice your ex back.

9. Show you’re willing to make changes for things to work out. This does not mean changing yourself and what you stand for, but you must be willing to change behaviors or habits that are damaging to the relationship.

10. Hit the gym. Get into some sort of fitness routine and stick to it. You’ll feel better from the endorphins and look better from the workout.

11. Develop a strong support system consisting of good friends and family. Just like a recovering alcoholic would have a sponsor, recruit a friend to support you in your moments of weakness. Those tough moments are inevitable.

12. Seek out a therapist. Throw away any preconceptions of what you think about having a therapist, and just do it. Bet you’ll be surprised at how nice it is to have someone to vent to.

14. Engage in activities that require a lot of energy and can serve as a great release of aggression like indoor cycling, boxing, kickboxing, or tennis. Play a game of paintball or take yourself to a driving range. When you see her you’ll be better able to keep yourself in check.

15. Get in your car and let it all out. Scream, shout, cry, sing – whatever you have to do to let out your frustration, anger, or disappointment.

16. Get into the present. Do deep breathing exercises when you start to feel out of control. Either meditate on your own, do laps in a swimming pool, or take a yoga class to focus solely on your breath to remain in the present.

17. Withhold information. You’re probably used to telling your ex everything. Do your own thing and don’t broadcast it. Get her imagination working; make her wonder what you’re up to.

18. Don’t try to figure out your ex’s schedule or new habits so that you can mold your day in a way that would put you in contact with your ex.

19. Make yourself more valuable by cultivating your knowledge. What are some things you can learn, classes you can take, or books you can read that would give you great material for stimulating conversation?

20. Don’t attempt to change your style to what you think she would prefer.

21. Reevaluate your life and set new goals for yourself. Be bold in your goals. There’s no point in making small goals you know you’ll reach. Stretch yourself a little… or a lot.

22. Get on Amazon right now and order three books that interest you. This will help you learn and do things you wish you could do when single.

23. Take a class in kickboxing, massage, or public speaking. There’s plenty of awesome businesses and colleges that have interesting things for you to do. How will this stuff get her back? Build your life and she will come. Kevin Costner did not make me say that.

24. Don’t invent manipulative tactics to get her back. Your reunion should evolve naturally and not be the result of some conspiracy you contrived to bring her back to you.

25. Change your emotional energy. Stop dwelling on negative self talk, and focus on more positive ideas. The world is the same color as it was when you were dating her; don’t paint it gray just because you’re not with her anymore. Find the good things in life and embody that energy.

26. Don’t put yourself down because you were dumped. Everyone’s been there. It’s not your inherent flaws that drive anyone and everyone you’ve ever dated away. There was just some aspect of your relationship that was weak. It’s either something you can fix or something you can’t; but whatever the reason for the break up, it certainly isn’t because you’re a horrible human being.

27. Be the “Prize” and not the Doormat! Try to win her heart by being mysterious, making her wonder, and playing a little hard to get! This will certainly help love to blossom and keep her on her toes.

28. Women like genuine guys who are not afraid to embrace their strengths and weaknesses. Be honest, humble, and unpretentious, and you will win her heart in no time.

29. friends! Play your cards right. Her friends know her inside and out. Once her friends like you, they can easily provide you with tips about how to win her heart.

30. There’s something very attractive about men who have a passion. Therefore, nurture a passion, because that will prove to her that you can be compassionate towards her too. By getting serious about something, you will win her heart.