Sequence

Here is the Circle of Life when it comes to your mom and her clothes:

Little Kid: You don’t care about your mom’s clothes.

Grade School: You start to care about your mom’s clothes. (Hello? I was M.O.R.T.I.F.I.E.D. when my mom would drop us off in front of the entire school wearing her bathrobe, house slippers and striped socks! I mean, what was she thinking?! Anyone could turn around and look into the car and see her! Then what would they think?! The horror!)

Junior High: You freak out a little about how “badly” your mom dresses and offer her your sage advice: Mom, I saw it in a magazine! That means it’s “in”!

High School and College: You start to wonder where your mom keeps all her old clothes. Because you’re poor and you can’t afford to buy all the clothes you want. And if you recall, her clothes weren’t that bad.

Full-Blown Adult: You ask your mom if you can clean out her closet and garage, you know, to help her “organize it”, and then you take all those beautiful clothes you used to hate, to your own closet to continue the cycle with your own daughter.

My mom had a sequence jacket that she kept in her closet for years. She may have worn it once to a special event, but never again after that. My sister and I used to put that jacket on and laugh and laugh and laaaugh at each other because of how ridiculous it was and how ridiculous we looked in it. It had shoulder pads. And sequence. Together.

Who wears that kind of stuff?…

Guess what I got my greedy little hands on?

Let this serve as a lesson to you young folk out there: one day, that hideous article of clothing your mother wore will haunt your dreams and you will do everything in your power to call it yours.