Madonna Threatens To ‘Blow Up The White House’

Madonna used her platform at the Women’s March in Washington DC to admit that she is “angry” and “outraged” and has “thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House.“

“We choose love!” Madonna proclaimed to wild cheers from the crowd of protestors, less than 24 hours after Hillary supporters rampaged through DC destroying private property and attacking people for having a different opinion.

Famous for constantly reinventing herself to stay relevant, it appears Madonna has unveiled her latest persona: “mad witch terrorist.” The 58-year-old pop star, using her platform to incite other Hollywood celebrities and liberals to terrorize the nation, offered a chilling ultimatum to the crowd: If you don’t accept my politics, there will be death.

Wearing a devil horns hat, the woman who admitted to performing witchcraft to make Trump lose the election, warned, “We must love one another – or die.“

“We choose love! We choose love” she proclaimed, encouraging the audience to chant along with her, moments after sharing dark ideas of terror and destruction with millions.

Madonna, the pop star of peace

The millionaire heretic recently revealed that she practiced Jewish mystical witchcraft on election night while her Muslim agent read passages from the Quran to make Donald Trump lose.

Speaking to Harper’s Bazaar, Madonna described focussing on Trump’s image on the TV screen while “lighting candles, meditating, praying, offering our lives” as her agent and friend recited verses from the Quran.

She goes on to say that her agent knew someone who worked on the Clinton campaign, and that early in the night they heard that things were not going as expected for the Democratic nominee.

“It was just like watching a horror show. And then she was reading from the Quran, and I was reading from the Zohar,” said Madonna, referring to the collection of stories about Jewish mysticism that is central to the Kabbalah.

“We were doing everything: lighting candles, meditating, praying, offering our lives to God forever, if only,” said the 58-year-old, seemingly puzzled that God wasn’t interested in answering the prayers of a woman who earlier in the campaign promised oral relations with anybody who voted for Hillary.

In the end, Trump defeated Clinton, and months later Madonna is still struggling to accept that her mystical witchcraft was not enough to overpower the will of the American people.

Explaining that she “always gets what she wants”, Madonna said she is unable to accept what has happened: “It’s like being dumped by a lover and also being stuck in a nightmare.”