Greetings morons. We're writing in response to your recent press statement, which, while blatantly trying to hide your incompetence, attempts to paint an ill-conceived picture on The Lulz Boat. To clarify, we were never going to extort anything from you. We were simply going to pressure you into a position where you could be willing to give us money for our silence, and then expose you publicly.

Ironically, despite the fact that you A) claimed that you wouldn't do something like that, and B) foolishly got outsmarted yet again, we'd like to point out something that you did do: attempt to cooperate with mystery hackers in order to radically, and illegally, boost your company from the ground.

Karim, founder of Unveillance, attempted from the start to work with us for his own gain, and he even offered us payment for certain "tasks". These tasks, hardly subtle at this point, were those of a malicious nature; destroying Karim's competitors through insider info and holes Karim would supply us.

Karim also wanted us to help track "enemy" botnets and "enemy" botnet trackers. All in return for our silence and "mutual gain".

While it's normal for him to try and cover up this embarrassment by putting all the focus back on us, we can, again, see past this primitive social engineering. Karim compromised his entire company and the personal lives of his colleagues, then attempted to silence us with promises of financial gain and mutual benefits.

We don't need cleverly-crafted media spinning to cover up anything, we say it how it is, nice and loud: Karim is a giant fuckwit that used the same password for all of his online accounts and all accounts linked to a company he owns. Then he tried to bargain with hackers so his company wouldn't crumble.

Try harder, Karim. We're too smart for your silly games.

To everyone else: stay safe, secure yourself, the Internet is a playground for people like us. We love you.