Look, we've had some fun over the last few years, shared a few chuckles. You would regale us with your inestimable wit and wisdom via Twitter, and we would, in turn, laugh at your apparent derangement. (Even that time your girlfriend hacked your Twitter account? C'mon, that was pretty good.)

But then, I mean, gosh, you really had to go and make famed environmentalist Al Gore fake-dead? Now, Gore's fake-parody Twitter ghost (or something) is going to haunt you until (a) the day Twitter no longer exists or (b) you block @GhostofAlGore. (Please, in the name of Walt Weiss, don't block @GhostofAlGore. That would be unwise.)

Mostly though, we don't want the Secret Service coming knocking on your condo door, alleging that you fake-killed a former vice president. Plus, we really want you to get that Laugh Factory gig you're pining for. Hey, we're not saying you need to stop with the global warming trivia. But maybe you want to dial it down a notch or 10.