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Which Insulting Bake Off Bake is Your Degree?

9 November 2016

By Sofie Penn-Slater

To commemorate the end of Bake Off's BBC reign, we've created a comprehensive guide to help you discover which insulting Bake Off Bake your degree subject actually is. It's definitely something you'll want to bear in mind when you're choosing which degree to do. Delicious!

History - the study of things that aren’t happening anymore. Jumbles are spiced knotted biscuits that aren’t happening anymore. Both History and Jumbles come across as if they are a bit stuffy and unnecessarily complicated, but people who love them know they’re actually pretty fantastic, with a little kick.

What does a medicine degree and a cake have in common? Syringes. Tamal, an anesthetist, loved shoving syringes in things, and we think that many medical students would probably come up with equally odd ideas - maybe taking the blood pressure of a black forest gateau?

Windtortes and Art and Design degrees - both look very pretty and elegant, but people often think they’re a little fluffy and weightless, even though they actually have a juicy fruity filling inside. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that a windtorte won’t get you a job in the real world.

Sure, sure, it’s pretty hard building a house that’ll stand upright and that won’t have a collapsing roof, but have you tried building a house out of GINGERBREAD? It’s ridiculously complicated. It’s probably the hardest thing you’ll ever bake or make. Why you can’t do a degree in gingerbread house construction is beyond me, and looking at some of the book deals Bake Off winners get, it would be even more valuable than an ordinary engineering degree.

Ah, the Victoria Sandwich, the pinnacle of British tea-time cakes - and English Literature, the pinnacle of British subjects. Some people think that both Victoria Sandwiches and English degrees are a bit dry and boring and dusty (that’s probably the icing sugar on top). A proper classic choice though, especially when filled with delicious jam.

Biology - the study of life and living organisms. Paul’s King of the Jungle - a study in bread of one of the world’s top predators. Basically the same thing.

8. Psychology - Dorret’s Unmade Bread

The father of Psychoanalysis would probably agree that this bread interpretation of Tracy Emin’s ‘My Bed’ perfectly represents a psychology degree. I mean, Freud spent a lot of time developing theories that were in some way related to sex (did he actually have any theories that weren’t?) and this messy post-coital bake sums the subject up.

In the third series, John Whaite - a LAW student - made rum babas but accidentally used salt instead of sugar in his recipe, leading to Paul Hollywood spitting it out onto the floor. Rum baba, with it’s incredibly enriched dough and lashings of spirits, is just like a lot of people you’ll meet on a law degree - rich and pretty hardcore, and if you don’t give it 100% of your concentration it’ll leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Eclairs - so typically French and chic. Nadiya’s collapsing tower of eclairs is a visual representation of Post-Brexit Brits in the eyes of the French. Having a French degree is lovely, but may not be the most widely applicable if we need to get a visa to nip across the channel.

11. Politics - Ed Balls Ed Balls Cake

Ok, ok, so we know that he didn’t make this actual cake on Bake Off, but Ed Balls has been on Bake Off and he did bake a cake - but it wasn’t quite as good as this one he made commemorating Ed Balls Day. An excellent representation of the futility of doing a politics degree. You’ll just end up trapped in an endless social media echo chamber of people tweeting your own name at you for five years. And you’ll end up on Strictly doing one of the weirdest dances the world has ever seen.

12. German - Dorret’s Black Forest Gateau

Another one of Dorret’s unfortunate bakes, the Black Forest Gateau is a perfect match for a German degree. Both BFGs and German degrees are a bit old fashioned, and are made of a strange combination of unlikely ingredients or words all shoved together (eg Freundschaftsbezeigungen). Lots of people think that German degrees and BFGs don’t sound very nice, but they’d be wrong, they’re actually delicious.