Hey everyone. I have been lurking a bit but really trying to take a break. I'm kind of tired of wishing that my life looks different, ifykwim? But of course, on the other hand, I am also googling adoption. I don't think we're ready for that step yet, and I know that DH is even farther behind me on that, but I don't want to put so much pressure on myself all the time. I have an acupuncture appointment on November 2, and it looks like my insurance will actually cover 60%, so that's reassuring too. I quit taking the Optivite supplement I was on hoping that it would calm down my raging PMS, cramps, and general insanity. I'm just praying that all this increased cramping and hormonal stuff hasn't reactivated my supposedly dormant endo. But if another lap is in my future, so be it. Third time's the charm, right?
HopesMom - I don't have much to add to the conversation, just keeping my : for you.

Oceanmommy Just a question, do you take Vitex daily even after ovulation? Or do you quit at ovulation. I am now taking Vitex, primrose and red raspberry tea, don't want to take anything after ovulation that I am not supposed to. I looked those links and nothing says whether or not to take after ovulation.

Hope all is well with everyone - just trying to get back on track after camping!

Anonymousk - I understand the disappearing thing. I don't think I've posted in five days or so. I've been reading on and off but I've been trying to establish sanity in my head.

I have scrutinized my last few charts and decided that the mystery spotting was some form of af and adjusted my chart to reflect that. Like I expected, FF pulled the crosshairs from the last chart. No great surprise, except for the baffling symptoms (some of which I have just now gotten over, including the nausea, so it definitely was not in my head. It was real, I just don't know why it happened).

I've also asked every person I can think of to look at my chart and see what they think about the mystery ovulation. Several FF people said that they believe it's very rare for FF to give crosshairs and leave them there when you're not ovulating (it's one thing to get crosshairs and have them pulled after a few days, it's another thing to have them stay for the whole cycle and have FF be totally wrong, especially 2x).

So the consencus (sp?) seems to be that indeed I likely have ovulated. Is it for sure... well, heck, what is? However, in the interest of further sanity, I went to our school's nurse (heh, she was a little baffled but more than willing to help me out - though it's not often she has a teacher coming to her asking her for advice on getting pregnant) for some advice and a doctor recommendation. I have an appointment on the 1st with a new doctor (I lied a little and said it had been a year, and realistically, as of Nov it's been ten months, so I figure close enough). I'll see what she has to say in a little less than a week.

My current assumption is that moving messed with my body enough that it decided to give up and not even bother. Currently, I'm at cd13 and my temp seems to be steadily dropping (little more each day, overall). That fits with the patterns of the previous three cycles, so there's nothing new there. I've also stopped taking pretty much everything (no vitex, no raspberry tea leaf or anything) except vitamins - and those are just a multi, Vitamin C and folic acid. So far nothing about my cycle is different, so I feel pretty sure that nothing was doing much to help. We'll see what happens.

And with that, I have just written my longest post ever.

to those who need 'em and much luck to those who are waiting, waiting, waiting.

I promise I'll do personals tomorrow - but for tonight I'm just sending out hugs, and hoping that'll cover it.

Now I'm gonna rant:

I called our insurance company today to make sure the HSG is covered, and it should be - as long as it's diagnostic - which it is. Because they'll cover infertility diagnostics, just not treatments. Yes, they're happy to pay to have your issue diagnosed, but god forbid you wanna do something about it. They'll also cover a vasectomy, a tubal, birth control, abortions, pregnancy care, hospitol births, Hell - if I'm depressed because of the infertilty, and need a shrink, they'll cover that! but no, not infertility treatments. : This pisses me off, partly because it's just a screwed up policy, and partly because *if* we find out we need infertility treatment, we can't afford it! So lets say I find out I have some issues, and would require IVF or some such, I can't get it! So I spent today wandering my house in a pissed off mood, alternating between crying and throwing stuff (dang that fiery Irish temper! : ) because while I really want to know whats wrong, I just have this awful sinking feeling that I'm just not gonna have kids. I know it's silly and crazy, and I *know* I shoudl be thinking positive, and I *know* I said I was forcing positivity on myself this month - but I honestly hung up with the insurance guy, and just cried. This whole journey is *SO* frustrating! I'm at a point where I'm dreading the upcoming holidays, because it's my yearly family thing, and I know someone will nudge me and wink and ask when we're gonna start a family, and Ya know what? If they catch me on an off day, I can't say if I'll just cry, or if I'll say something rude or cutting, and the last thing I wanna do is pick a fight at Christmas.

DH says "we'll cross that ridge when we get to it" and other stuff, like, "Maybe we can't afford IVF now, but maybe in a year or so" But I'm already 30, and even after all the diagnostic stuff is done, it'll be months, and if we ahve to wait a few years to save up for it... Gah! He is already 43! How much longer does he want to wait for kids??!?!: : :

ItyBty I totally understand your feelings on the insurance thing. 11 (?) states have mandated infertility coverage, they recognize fertility as a quality of life issue, similar to a disability. The list of states is at www.resolve.org I believe. I wish my state were one of them... to me, if there is a reproductive problem we deserve to have treatment for it. If it were any other organs in our bodies we would get treatment.
FWIW I truly believe that you are going to get your kids, I don't know if the road between now and then is long or short but I do think it will happen.

Christy I am glad to hear that you have an appointment with a new doctor coming up, I hope that your visit leaves you feeling as positive as mine did a few weeks back. I think it is a good idea to cut out the supplements before going... if she draws blood to check hormones or gives you medication you want to be au naturale.

Lilyflower I take vitex the whole cycle, it supports all phases of the cycle. I will stop taking it once I get my bfp, and I will probably get my progesterone level checked in case stopping the vitex diminishes it. I have heard of women taking vitex through the first trimester so I think it's pretty safe but as far as I know it is mostly recommended to stop once you are pregnant.
Evening primrose is just for af to ovulation from what I know, as is red clover. Red raspberry leaf is another one of those herbs that some use and some don't after ovulation, but from what I've heard it can make you cramp which is bad during the tww.

I just realized the other day that the letters an my liscence plate are "BWP" and I was thinking, too bad they are not "BFP" that would be nice to see everyday.... so I decided that "BWP" = Big Whopping Positive So now I think "big whopping positive" when I go out to my car.

Hi everyone, I like the idea of BWP, and I think (if you don't mind ocean) that I will use that IF/when I finally need to. Tricia, I understand how you feel, but do you think it's just the clomid making your emotions a little hazy? I'm only asking b/c I felt like DH didn't even like me anymore the other day, and I was just emotional. I'm not down playing it at all and please don't take it that way?!?! I so hope you get a BWP this month, and it won't be long 5 days....ITY I'm sorry that you didn't get the answer your were looking for, but they may not have anything negative to say afterwards at all, and hell it might just make you more fertile anyway....Everyone else, I hope your well.

Tricia, I am on CD7 now, and I always felt like I O'd earlier that the norm anyway....we'll see...3 cycles and I'm out if no BWP (hehe). DH and I talked last night and decided that we'll stop trying, no BCP's but not trying to conceive a child. I kinda like the idea that I won't be pressuring myself or him to time things and take pills and all that stuff that actually making love to my DH changes....ladies have a wonderful day!!!

I do hope that you have a good day, and that the emotions are just b/c your overly emotional...again, I mean that with the best of intentions. I told you I felt your BWP coming soon...I may be crazy tho and it just undiagnosed...hehe

Hello again to everyone! I have missed you all. My family is finally settling into our new appartment and we just got our internet hooked back up yesterday and I couldn't get on to tell you all hi, so here I am today.

HI!!!!

I hope everyone is doing well, I didn't have time to go back and read everything I missed for the last 2 weeks, so I'm just sending lots of to you all.

I do have a question. Because of the crazy schedule and tons of stress we've been keeping, I had to temp and write it down. Well, I O'd 3 or 4 days ago, but the last time we DTD was 5 days ago. What are the chances of me conceiving if I we had sex the day before O? I'm guessing it's pretty slim, but I'm just wondering.

Thanks for any help, and it feels really good to be back to my support.

Hi Mommy in Chaos ! I'm glad you made your move and have your internet back - yay ! As far as I know GIO the day before you O is probably the single best day to do it... gives those swimmers time to get into the fallopian tubes, and your estrogen - and cm - are probably at their best. Unless of course you are using frozen sperm, I guess those guys only live about a day.

Tenk please do use bwp whenever you like... heck, let's all get bwps this cycle.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HopesMom

Just wanted to say how tired I am of this whole process. :

Yeah, STOP THIS RIDE I WANNA GET OFF !

Tricia, a million hugs to you today I am sorry you are feeling blue and rainy :

nope Lilyflower, not silly - what's silly is ME getting excited at my temps when not even 24 hours ago I was all "I'm not getting my hopes up anymore, just hoping to be pleasantly surprised someday" I've never had a temp as high as today on a bbt when I wasn't sick. :

Hello everyone! Hi Punquin and mommy_in_chaos--welcome back. I'm sorry that you are both still ttc. Me too. And M_I_Chaos--I agree with oceanmommy that you've got a good chance this cycle.

Hopesmom--Me too! I'm really tired. I'm so tired that sometimes I think I'm too tired to go from this to being pregnant and then having a baby. Those things are not easy either. I need a vacation from my fertility and then to magically get preg.--okay, well it doesn't have to be magic.

Tenk--Your plan with your DH sounds like a sane one. And it's so nice that you have a plan together.

Itybty--I had a drs appointment yesterday and came out feeling unhappy and mad. So I'm with you and quite a bit of !

FF--our good friend--now has ttc stories. I like em. Many people trying for over a year and getting preg. It isn't hopeless, just exhausting. Anyway, that's how I felt reading a few.

Oceanmommy~
I can't tell you how happy that made me! I have been upset all month because I knew I would O late, and I didn't know if we'd even get to BD at all with the people we've had visiting. So I guess I'll just keep my fingers crossed!!! And BTW~ nice chart!!! It looks awesome!!!

Tricia~
I'm riding that same train. This really sucks sometimes. I hope your day gets better.

Thank you all for your supports, prayers and for me and DH. Thank God he is no more in ICU any more, he's now in regular room, trying to take control of his BP. He has a seizure that I have to call 911 on Friday. Thanks to God He has taking control. This has not happens to him before.

The most weird and fun part of it, FF said I ovulated on Friday. I don't even have time for TTC now.

Egads you ladies have been very busy! I applogize as I won't even remotely try to catch up on personals - I'd be here all night, but I did read through the pages I missed while I was away. That said, I still wanted to send a to fola!

We're **** waiting to o here. I use Ovusoft - totally free for me, though! I bought the book and got the program early enough when it was still free. I had been a little frustrated because it has been treating the last few cycles as oddballs and I've been wondering if perhaps they were more accurate overall. I was able to adjust a few things and it projected o for next week which is good since I won't see my dh again until Tuesday night. Here's hoping we catch that illusive little bugger!

Tricia any idea how long it will take before I O since I took the Clomid CD 1-5? I'm using the Answer brand OPK's and I have been doing one every night and morning just to be sure...I don't wanna freakin' miss the little eggie(s) this time. I just think that my O is all screwed up anyway. One month I was sure I O'd on CD 10, I had spotting for about 2 hours and everything. I've heard that spotting mid cycle is a great sign of fertility and we BD'd that day (WTF) sorry...then last cycle I had the EWCM about 4-5 days later than I thought I O'd but it still wasn't much. I think I just need some light shed on the subject...OH if I pay for FF, can I do it with out temps? can I just use the opk as my indicator and paying for FF actually be worth it? K, have a wonderful day ladies!!!

Thanks everyone for the compliments on my chart It is by far my most favorite chart ever. Here's hoping it turns into something even more beautiful. :

Fola, you are in my good thoughts and prayers I am glad to hear your dh is not in the ICU now, that is a very good step. I hope he gets to go home soon, the hospital can make things feel even worse sometimes.
I hope you know that ttc or not, we are all here for you and support you.

Tricia how are you today ? Did those pains go away ?

Pampered Mom Hi ! it's good to hear from you. Good luck catching that egg next week :

Tenk you can use FF with just opk's and cm, but I myself like a temp to look at. It predicts your fertile times and your expected AF ("stats") which might be helpful. Maybe try the FF free version and see if it's worth it to you ? I think FF might give you a free trial of the "VIP" pay version as well when you sign up. You can type in old data if you have it, and build a history which makes the stats more accurate.

I saw my dentist yesterday, a little background: She was pg last year, due in feb/march '06, but lost the baby a month before he was due. It was terribly tragic, devastating really, she was understandably upset and took a bit of time off. Yesterday she told me she is pregnant again. I am so happy for her ! It feels like some small bit of justice has been served, as I believe it will be for us all

Fola, you and your husband are in my thoughts. What a difficult emotional time you've been through.
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My news... and it's not really that newsy... is that for the first time ever three events have aligned on one day: ewcm, "peak" on my monitor, and sex. Woo hoo! I have thought that my usual ewcm patch taking place 3 or so days before ovulation could be part of the problem. Anyway...

Fola, you and your husband are in my thoughts. What a difficult emotional time you've been through.
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My news... and it's not really that newsy... is that for the first time ever three events have aligned on one day: ewcm, "peak" on my monitor, and sex. Woo hoo! I have thought that my usual ewcm patch taking place 3 or so days before ovulation could be part of the problem. Anyway...

Oh wow funnygrace that is such great news....hopefully things will work good this cycle then!!! Fingers crossed!!

First of all, I want to thank everyone for making this a very supportive thread.

No news here although I am increasingly sure this is not our cycle. I don't feel pregnant AT ALL.
The cramps are better-ish. I was talking with my acupuncturist today and she confirmed that lots of women experience them on clomid cycles. So, that's likely what they are.

Tenk--I Oed on CDs 15 and 14 in the two cycles of clomid that we've done. I took it CDs 3-7. My understanding, though, is that taking the clomid earlier in your cycle does not make for an earlier O. (although I've heard the pregnancy rates are best for DCs 1-5) But it does vary some for different women. I forget... do you normally O?
Also, I have FF and I only do OPKs and CM. I do think it helps, although not nearly as much as I think it helps for people who temp. The VIP allows you to override and have it use your OPKs as the O prediction. (I think, and I hope since that is why I pay for it. ) I also like that it analyzes our "timing" etc. I could do that myself but its nice to see it...even if it doesn't seem to matter AT ALL in the outcome.

Hopesmom sorry, I'm confused, do you mean you think your pregnant and you won't have to go thru this mess of "TTC" anymore. Or do you mean, you don't even want to try anymore? Sorry, I just didn't want to assume wrong. Either way, I do hope that you make the decision that is best for you...I feel the same as you...I only have enough for 3 cycles of Clomid and then I'm out as well. It's too much work to plan things and take pills and wonder if I'm even doing the OPK's right or if the line is dark and I just missed it...UGH~~~So I know how you feel. Oh, if you have heard or read that taking it CD 1-5 results in more PG that anyother times it can be used...why didn't you or don't you take it on those days instead of CD3-7? Just curious...