Ozzy Osbourne On Permanent Display at New Rock Museum

A new heavy metal museum, Rock of Ages, is to open in Birmingham, the home of many of today’s premier British rock bands. Terence ‘Metal-Head’ Simpkins, proud owner of the museum said:

‘We’re really proud of the exhibits we’ve managed to secure. These include things like Jimmy Page’s flared loon pants from the first Led Zeppelin tour, a reconstructed television set that was thrown from a hotel bedroom by The Who’s Keith Moon and a collection of curling tongs and hair dryers from various ‘poodle rock’ bands like Aerosmith, Poison and Motley Crue.

But the centre showpiece of our collection will be all four original members of Black Sabbath, displayed as exhibits, in glass cases near the entrance hall to the museum.’

Noddy Holder lead singer of Midlands glam-rock band Slade said ‘At first Tony Iommi, Sabbath’s guitarist was a bit reticent about being stood motionless on display for hours on end; but we talked him round. Ozzy Osbourne however, was delighted to oblige and let’s face it he’s pretty motionless most of the time anyway’.

Tour guides will take visitors round the establishment and bring rock music to life with occasional seminars. One of the first of these will explain just how Angus Young, the 55 year old lead guitarist with AC/DC, still dresses up as a school boy at concerts, after 40 years on the road with the band and manages to look people in the eye seriously.

Other ‘metal talks’ will discuss just how ridiculous Rob Halford, lead singer of Brummie rock band Judas Priest looks with a balding head while sporting tight bondage leather gear and a whip.

The museum offers competitive entrance prices with concessions and family tickets. However, OAPs and the over sixties will have to pay the full going rate, as most of the people attending the museum will fall into that age bracket.