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Monday, January 2, 2017

3 Essential Tips to Raising Dreamers

New Year, new dreams...I hope you enjoy this post. Don't miss the important announcements below. Happy New Year, friends!

Parenthood often is consumed by minutia. We grocery shop,
make meals, attempt to stay on top of unending piles of laundry, sign school
forms, masterfully juggle schedules, and carpool – all while attending to our
own responsibilities. We can live full yet exhausting lives, which sometimes
leave little energy to cultivate a big picture.

I love this
TODAY Show Parenting Team challenge because at heart, I am a dreamer. I don’t
want to just subsist; I want to fully live. I want to wake up in the morning
with purpose and passion. I’m quite sure it’s difficult to raise children who
can do this if I don’t spend time doing it myself. Granting permission to dream
and care for myself allows me to more fully give to those I love.

Perhaps the
best dream we can dream for ourselves is to discover our calling and live it.
Calling can be a multifaceted thing, just as we are multifaceted people. For
instance, many of us are workers, parents, friends, siblings, and children simultaneously.
Our calling will ask us to hold these roles in tension while doing what we were
put on earth to do. I’ve heard one author describe calling as doing that which
makes our heart sing. Another has described it as the intersection between the
world’s greatest need and our deepest joy.

It’s a privilege to discover and live our
calling. Some never have that option. As parents, we’re in a unique position to
enable our children to do so. Being intentional about that role has the
potential to unlock richer fulfillment in our families. In the spirit of
raising dreamers, here are three tips to consider as we go about our important
work:

1.Be an
archeologist. It’s so easy as a parent, especially if you’re type A like
me, to put an expertly crafted plan of our own into motion. While we can offer
our children a myriad of experiences and opportunities to safely test the
waters, our primary role should be that an observer. We can watch for clues
about their own unique intellect and bent. I’ve noticed how quick my older son
is to show compassion, or how mechanically minded my younger son is, for
instance.

2.“Lean in.”
Mark and Jan Foreman give this advice. One day they heard their sons
experimenting with music they didn’t like. Instead of insisting that they stop,
however, Mark sat down and told them why. He used that moment as a springboard
for more discussions and experimentation – together. Their sons went on to form
the award-winning band Switchfoot. Mark and Jan stress the importance of engaging
and supporting our children’s interests, while structuring them all the same.

3.Let go.
NYT’s best-selling author Jessica Lahey argues that allowing our children to
take risks – and even fail – is a crucial element on their path to success.
While it may fly in the face of our protective sensibilities, affording our
children the right amount of autonomy enables them to develop a healthy and
resilient self-confidence that will serve them well in future endeavors. I’ve
never known a dream that didn’t involve risk; I don’t want to raise risk-averse
children, but risk-smart ones.

One of my favorite quotes is by John
A. Shedd: “A ship in harbor is safe – but that is not what ships are built
for.” Discovering what we we’re built for and setting sail can take us to new
places well worth the journey. I can’t wait to see where it takes these two!

I’m excited to announce that Jessica Lahey will be the February guest
on my show, Chaos to Calm. Jessica
is the author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go
So Their Children Can Succeed. Also, Mark
and Jan Foreman talk more about parenting in their recent book, Never Say
No; Raising Big-Picture Kids.

This week, I'm shooting the January episode of Chaos to Calm with children's book author Laura Sassi, which will air later this month on the 24th! There will be TWO Zonderkidz giveaways in association with this episode - don't miss it!

And as always, I'd love your vote over on the TODAY Parenting Team page. Simply click "vote up" hereto allow my post to reach more people!