Have you ever wondered what's going on inside Mitt Romney's head? Besides all the clicking and beeping from his circuitry, I mean. Have you always wanted to know what kind of strategy the real Mittens, the fun one that hangs out under that shellacked casing, is trying to work on the American people? Well, you're in luck. He got busted yesterday when reporters heard him speaking to a small group of donors, and he leveled with his GOP pals about what the House of Romney has in store for us. While, like Mitt, many of his deep dark secrets are pretty tame and boring, he did manage to be particularly obnoxious on one topic: Women. (Shocker!) What's more Ann "Mother of the Century" Romney chimed in with her comments.

Poor MittBott 3000 is having a rough go in terms of accidentally revealing himself. First there was his lively discussion of horseback riding with Sean Hannity. Then yesterday he was speaking in someone's backyard at a private fundraiser in Palm Beach, Florida, and reporters out on the sidewalk happened to overhear everything he and Ann said. Whoopsie daisy! So what exactly did he have up his sleeve, other than a skin-covered yet obviously bionic arm? Well, wouldn't you know it: He and Ann were actually happy that Hilary Rosen decided to go after Ann for not working.

What follows is the inaugural column of a person we are calling The Fox Mole—a long-standing,…
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Ann apparently first acknowledged that they were currently at a disadvantage with women, and as a solution she urged the ladies in the audience to spread the word, especially about the economy, to their friends. Best of luck with that strategy. But more importantly, here's what she had to say about Rosen's comments about her:

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It was my early birthday present for someone to be critical of me as a mother, and that was really a defining moment, and I loved it.

Oh, you loved it, did you? Funny because you seemed to be really steamed when you JOINED TWITTER to holler back at Hilary, and then your husband's whole team made the rounds to feign offense. But all this time you were lovin' it? Okay, obviously you were, but maybe next year aim a little higher as far as what you want for your birthday, because normally being criticized for your life choices isn't considered all that nice of a present. Maybe ask for some chocolates or a new twin set instead?

Not surprisingly, Rom-o-rama felt the same way as his beloved wife. He said this whole "war on moms" that sprung up in the wake of the initial spat was a "gift" because it let him contrast himself with Democrats and boosted fundraising. And what a lovely gift it was—just be careful going forward when it comes to contrasting yourself with Dems on the women front, Mitty, because you will pretty much come up a loser every time.

As for the other things he revealed, he said he wants to eliminate and combine a bunch of federal agencies. He gave some specifics about changes he wants to make to the tax code. (Man, this guy must be really fun to party with.) And he said he wants to win back Hispanic voters. Here's one clue as to how you could do that, Mitt: don't pick your one Hispanic "friend" and defer to him on all issues relating to Hispanics. Just a little friendly advice for you, mate.

In the end, his whole spiel wasn't that different from the stuff he says in front of the cameras, but he did offer one bit of assistance to those in attendance on how to explain his economic policy in a way that's easy to understand:

I'm asked — how do you boil it down, how do you encapsulate this into a campaign message: Two things, jobs and kids.

As in: Jobs, we need to create a ton of ‘em, because women are going to be having a shit-ton of kids after I take away their birth control. Way to accidentally hit the nail on the head, dude.