Back in the day, TV documentary-makers made it their aim to get into their subjects’ heads. Nowadays it’s all about getting inside their phones — because it’s the same thing, according to Channel 4 show Teens this week.

Two simultaneous accusations are made about Ed Miliband. The first is that he is weak, the second that he is ruthless, because he stood against his brother. I reckon you can reconcile these apparently opposite traits if you see him as champion of underdogs. Miliband: making the weak strong.

One day an electric car will probably run you over. It sounds like the title of a Philip K Dick story. In fact it is the potential fate of every Londoner who ventures into the street. Cars powered silently by batteries are coming. And they are coming to kill you.

At Mayor’s Question Time, Boris Johnson told the audience to clap if they hated cyclists. The applause was loud. The room was reportedly full of black-cab drivers. “Well, I don’t,” the platinum-plumed one bumbled.

I began to think there might be something in the news of economic recovery on Saturday afternoon at my parents’ house. I awoke from a dream-filled nap on the sofa to see my mum materialise with a glass of champagne. “We’re all having some,” she explained. “It’s my new thing!”