It always happens doesn’t it? You think, that this time, maybe you could make a simple issue-based choice on who to vote for in the presidential election. You think that maybe, just maybe, we can escape without all the dirty politics and childish and desperate mud-slinging. For a minute, I thought it, miraculously, could happen. Now, as we’re set to enter the second debate tonight, I’m not so sure.

Both candidates have caved to the pressure and resorted to digging up dirt and making mostly false accusations about each other. It’s a bunch of hooey and it’s just enough to make you vote for a third party, I tells ya! A third, vote-splitting party that ruins everything by making the vote sooo close that it requires The Supreme Court to intervene and decide the winner for us. And we all know what that leads to…eight long years of misery, spiralling debt, never-ending war, and complete disregard for our natural environment and civil liberties. If you’ve had enough of it, then so have I.

That’s why I wanted to share today’s great thing with you.

46. The Campaign to Elect General Zod

Talk about “The Straight-Talk Express”. This guy has a plan. Plus, he’s a General, so he’s had military experience. Maybe he can come up with an exit strategy for Iraq. Sure, it probably involves a lot of heat-vision and the leveling of buildings but whatever gets the job done, right? It’s probably not that much worse than what’s going on over there anyway.

What about human rights, you might ask? I mean, as a lez, that’s a factor that I always take into consideration when I choose my candidate. Well, Zod is the first candidate who promises to put us all on equal ground. We will ALL be without rights as his slaves. Finally, a prejudice-free society!

Brilliant. I wonder if it’s one of The Onion writers who is behind this? I’ve looked and looked and looked some more but I haven’t been able to identify who the author of the site is. That’s a hero right there. Someone who is so committed to the idea, that he or she hasn’t stepped forward to take credit for the genius. The illusion remains intact!

Or…it really is General Zod.

Whichever it is, here’s another incentive to vote Zod this November:

Smarter than Laura Bush and hotter than Nancy Reagan

Now that’s a first lady.

At any rate, I’ll be in bed before the debates are on here in Britain. I’m taping it to view later this week. But those two Earthlings have a hard road ahead of them. Unless they can come up with some sort of solid, factual, and consistent rhetoric, Zod is getting my vote. For a better planet Houston. Kneel before Zod!