Happy Teacher's Day! ... :) Shangy!
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================
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
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You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
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================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This steaming hot page is from our friends Linda and Karen.
This time of year brings out an abundance of fall colors in
nature, especially in all 50 of our beautiful states in
America.
,
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-->From TheFunnyBone:
|""-..._____
'-.____ _````"""""'`|
School Daze \ ``` ``"---... _ |
| / /#\
}--..______..-{ ###
A professor stood before his class of }}}}} _ _ {{{{{
20 senior organic biology students, }}}} 6 6 {{{{
about to hand out the final exam. {{{{{ ^ }}}}}
"I want to say that it's been a {{{{{{\ -=- /}}}}}}
pleasure teaching you this semester. {{{{{{{;.___.;}}}}}}}
I know you've all worked extremely {{{{{{{) (}}}}}}}'
hard and many of you are off to `""'"': :'"'"'`
medical school after summer. So that jgs `@`
no one gets their GP messed up because
they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who
would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a "B" for
the course."
There was much rejoicing amongst the class as students got up, passed
by the professor to thank him and sign out on his offer.
As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the
handful of remaining students and asked, "Any one else? This is your
last chance." One final student rose up and took the offer.
The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students
remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourself." he said. "You
all have "A"s."
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
October 5 is Do Something Nice Day and World Teacher's Day
October 6 is Come and Take it Day and Mad Hatter Day
October 7 is Bald and Free Day
October 8 is American Touch Tag Day
October 9 is World Egg Day and Fire Prevention Day
October 10 is National Angel Food Cake Day
October 11 is It's My Party Day and Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
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>Time Marches On
My brother and his wife started their family in their early 40s. One
day my sister-in-law and I were commiserating about the effects of
time marching on.
"I just got my first pair of glasses," she said, and paused as her
two preschool boys thundered past her. "Now, if only my hearing
would go."
-<>-
>Food I Like
A certain father was a chronic growler. He was sitting with his
family in the presence of a guest in the parlor one day when the
question of food came up.
One of the children, a little girl, was telling the guest very
cleverly what food each member of the family liked best. Finally it
came to the father's turn to be described.
"And what do I like, Nancy?" he asked laughingly.
"You," said the little girl slowly, "well, you like most anything we
haven't got."
-<>-
>School Librarian
When our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my
fellow teacher asked a student, "Why do you think Ms. Richardson
is leaving?"
The third grader thought for a moment then said, "Because she's read
all our books?"
-<>-
>Be Prepared
Pun Ahead! Proceed at your own risk! You have been warned!
(Apologies to my Scouting friends)
A scoutmaster and his wife were driving along a rural highway, when
they found the road blocked by a herd of cows that had escaped
through a broken fence.
The scoutmaster tried beeping his horn to scare the cattle from the
pavement, but to no avail. For some reason, no sound was heard. He
got out of the car, lifted the hood, and saw the problem, a loose
wire, which he quickly fixed.
As he got back into the car, his wife asked him if he'd had any luck.
"Yep," he replied, "beep repaired!"
-<>-
>Airport Play Set
A friend's daughter received an adorable airport play set as a gift.
Since some assembly - actually, a lot of assembly - was required, her
husband spent much of the day putting together the plane, the control
tower, the runway, the little baggage chute, and arranging the pieces
into a teeny tiny air hub.
As he finished up, his wife noticed he was frantically digging around
in the box, checking all the packing materials.
"You are not going to believe this," he said. "The one piece missing
... is the luggage!"
=========================================================
>-->Ode To All Our Teachers! Brave Souls each of them!
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(_/T\_)
>Smiles
What school do you greet people in?
Hi School!
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet!
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils!
teachers always tell us to follow our dreams....
BUT yet they don't let us sleep in class.
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
What is the center of gravity?
The letter "V"!
What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
Why was the students report card all wet?
Because it was below C ( sea ) level.
What is 5Q + 5Q?
10Q ..... and You're Welcome!
Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept!
What is the Great Depression?
When you get a bad report card!
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher
come on?
The scholar ships.
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they're all in HIGH School!
Who should be your best friend at school?
Your princi-pal!
How do you spell Hard Water with 3 letters?
ICE!
What would happen if you took the school bus home?
The police would make you bring it back!
What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?
The multiplication table.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Student: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too!
Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well
Father: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school!
Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too,
but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
===========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
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(_/T\_)
>SMILES
A married couple in their early 60's was celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said,
"For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to
each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."
The wife answered, "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my
darling husband."
The fairy waved her magic wand and - POOF! - two tickets for the Queen
Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is all very romantic, but
an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but
my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and - POOF! - the husband became 92
years old.
The moral of this story: Men should remember fairies are female.
--------
An old fraternity brother told us about a gag an undergrad girlfriend
of his pulled off during her last semester: She disguised herself as a
boy, joined TKE, and the authorities never found out about it. "Wait a
minute," we objected. "If this girl joined a fraternity, she would have
had to dress with the guys and shower with them!" "Sure." "Well then,
someone must have discovered she was a girl!" "Probably," said our
friend, downing his drink. "But who'd tell?"
--------
A father thought he had done a good job in teaching his son manners,
good behavior, etc. When the four-year-old said to him one day, "When
I grow up, I want to be just like you, Dad..."
The father's heart swelled with pride... until the boy finished his
sentence. "...so then I can reach the light switch!"
--------
John's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment.
Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted that
day, he asked his son if he got a part.
John enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man
who's been married for twenty years."
"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it
they'll be giving you a speaking part."
-------
One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some
extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a
little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most
would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and
noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so
excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and
said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in
the plate.
A very quiet, elderly, saintly lady all the way in the back shyly
raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she
made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she
gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the
three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him, and him,
and him."
--------
A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property.
He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill and
followed the road up to the spot where he stood. The driver
pulled over to the side of the road and called out to the farmer.
"Do you know how I can get to Route 91?" the driver asked.
The farmer thought for a few seconds. Then he said, "Nope."
"Do you know where the nearest turnpike entrance is?"
the driver asked. "Nope," the farmer replied.
"How about the town of Hadley. Do you know which direction
it is from here?" "Nope."
Exasperated, the driver raced his engine. "You don't know
very much, do you?" he said.
"Nope," the farmer replied. "But I'm not lost."
--------
In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and
guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says: "So how is your
strange business going?"
"What do you mean strange?"
"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"
"So?"
"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or
guns?"
"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his
neighbors buys a gun."
-------
A blonde goes shopping for a pair of alligator shoes but
They're all too expensive. The blonde says, "Well, then,
maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get
those alligator shoes for free."
The clerk replies with a sly smile, "Well, little lady,
why don't you go give it a try?"
Later that day, the shoe salesman is driving home and
spots the blonde standing waist deep in murky water,
shotgun in hand. Suddenly a huge 'gator swims rapidly
toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond takes aim,
shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the bank.
Nearby the salesman sees seven more dead 'gators, all
lying belly up. He watches in amazement as the blonde
struggles to turn the latest gator over. Then she rolls
her eyes and screams in frustration, "DANG IT!! THIS ONE'S
BAREFOOT, TOO!!"
--------
My sister decided to get a dog for protection. As she
inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her,
"He doesn't like men."
"Perfect," my sister said and took the dog.
Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking
lot. She watched to see how her canine bodyguard would
react. Soon it became clear the the trainer wasn't
kidding. As the men got closer, the dog hid under the
nearest car.
--------
One Sunday a cowboy went to church -- and he and the
preacher were the only people there!
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go
ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "Well, if I went to feed my cattle and
only one showed up, I'd feed him."
The preacher realized the truth of this, and was inspired
to preach a stem-winder of a sermon.
Afterward, he asked the cowboy how he had liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered, "Well, if I went to feed my cattle
and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him ALL the hay."
---------
One morning as the absent-minded professor was leaving
for work his wife said, "Don't forget we're moving
today. If you come to this house this afternoon it will
be empty."
Predictably, he didn't remember until he arrived at the
old house and found it vacated. He mumbled to himself,
"And where was it we were moving to?"
He went out in front of the house and asked a little
girl, "Did you see a moving van here today, little girl?"
"Yes."
"Can you tell me which way it went?"
She looked up at him and said, "Yes, Daddy, I'll show you."
--------
Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona newspapers:
(Who sez seniors don't have a sense of humor?)
FOXY LADY: S#xy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, 5'4"
(used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing
companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband
looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting,
shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, and
meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our
hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can
remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair,
many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running
condition, but walks well.
---
...LOL! Thanks LouiseA!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Cloie :)
,_
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\ ```` ``"---...__ |
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jgs `-,____,-'
/"""I""\
/`---'--'\
>Riddles
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FIVE RIDDLES I HAVE SEEN ....
IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S
FOR YEARS!!
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three
rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of
assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't
eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over
5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out
together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when
you throw it away?
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you
can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and
plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing
is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about
it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a
bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:
1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
That one was easy, right?
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband,
developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).
3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and
tomorrow!
5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English
language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
-<>-
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jgs (__)(__)
>JOKES
We were trying to get our toddler age daughter to pet a friend's large
and rambunctious dog. She gingerly patted it on the hips. When we asked
her to pat his head she came back with a very logical reply: "No, I pat
this end -- this end doesn’t bite!"
===========
A very conservative doctor was consulted by an older man who wasn't
feeling very well. After a thorough medical checkup, the doctor said,
"Mr. Kramer, I can't find anything specifically wrong with you. I have
only one suggestion...that you...eh, eh...give up some of your love
life." There was a long pause, and then Mr. Kramer said, "O.K., Doc.
But which half should I give up: thinking about it or talking about
it?"
==========
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come
you aren't married?" John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."
George: "So what are you looking for?" John: "Oh she's got to be real
pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she's got to know how to handle
finances, have a nice and pleasant personality -- and money, she's got
to have money, and if she has her own house it wouldn't hurt either."
George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!" John: "Oh,
it's okay if she is crazy."
===========
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5, if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood
============
One night in Paris, an American tourist dropped into a sidewalk cafe
late one night and, after a couple of drinks, realized he was the last
person in the bar -- except for a chap sleeping at one of the tables.
The man called the proprietor over and asked for his bill. "Would
monsieur care for another drink?" asked the Frenchman. "No thanks, I
imagine you want to close up. Why don't you send that other fellow
home?" "Well, I should," answered the other. Then, with Gaelic logic,
he added, "But each time I wake him up he asks for the bill and pays it
again!"
---
...HaHa! Thanks Cloie!
=======================================================
>-->From Our Friend PatDeE :)
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>Email Address
An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and
two kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily
passes an aptitude test.
The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at
minimum wage of $7.35 an hour.Let me have your e-mail address so that
we can get you in the loop.Our system will automatically e-mail you all
the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your
first day." Taken aback, the man protests that he is poor and has
neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies,
"You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you
virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly
expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."
Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10
in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling
25 lb. crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it
to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he
sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process
several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives
home that night with several bags of groceries for his family. During
the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the
end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the
night. He multiplies his profits quickly.
Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several
boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart
to buy a broken-down pickup truck.
At the end of a year, he owns three old trucks. His two sons have
left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his
wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses
at the community college so she can keep books for him.
By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks
and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling
tomatoes. He continues to work hard.
Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of
nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato
farms that his son manages. The tomato company's payroll has put
hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work.
His daughter reports that the business grossed over one million
dollars.
Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life
insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance
plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his
e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.When
the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and
has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, "What, you don't
have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be
today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"
"Ha!" snorts the man."If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be
sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $7.35 an hour."
Which brings us to the moral of the story: Since you got this story
by e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a
millionaire.
Sadly, I received it also.
---
...Yeah, yeah, story of my life. Thanks PatDeE!
_____
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Real life is the son who was not getting much of a paycheck in the
family business decides to off the dad since he has a double indemnity
life insurance plan now and because he can't wait for his dad to kick
the bucket. Worried that he'd have to split the inheritance and
business with his sister and his mother, he offs them too. After 10
years and him spending most of the estate worth on fancy cars, gambling
and woman, they finally figure out who committed the triple homicide.
This lands him in prison with no hope of parole and what's left of his
family estate goes back to the government.
Money is the root of all evil you know and Yes, you guessed it, I watch
way too many crime stories. LOL!
-<>-
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`""'"""""'""""`/T\
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>Thoughts
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house
you can be in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social
situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about
the 195 lbs. I've gained.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they
just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
The speed in which a woman says "nothing" when asked "What's wrong?" is
inversely proportional to the severity of the shit storm that's coming.
Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.' ...If
you're in Denny's and it's your birthday... your life sucks!
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I
need....not all this, "how did you get in my house" business!
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today...Pretty sure she's
going to get me something.
On average, an American man will make love two to three times a week;
whereas a Japanese man will only one or two times a year. ...This is
upsetting news to me... I had no idea I was Japanese.
I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older
women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor ."
I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language
entirely out of tattoos.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them
pick their nose?
-<>-
_)
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jgs '.___.'
>Ingredients In Viagra
Vitamin E 3%
Aspirin 2%
Ibuprofen 2%
Vitamin C 1%
Spray Starch 5%
Fix-A-Flat 87%
Knew they would eventually release the Ingredients!!
-<>-
>Double Positive
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In
English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in
some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative.
But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive
can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."
-<>-
___________
|.---------.|
@)___||_ ||_______
{8*8888*888{______}spunk ||_______>
@) ||_________||
`----)-(----`
____[=== o]___
|::::::::::::::|\
jgs `-============-`()
>War Of Words
A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an
Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite
side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious
state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to
both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.
The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the
highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw
each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.
I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, low life #$%$ bag
who got what he deserved.
He yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left
wing Commie who isn't even an American.
So I said that Usama Bin Laden dressed and acted like a mean-spirited
lesbian!
He retaliated by yelling, oh yeah? Well, so do Polosi and Hilliary
Clinton!!!
And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a
truck hit us."
---
...LOL! Thanks PatDeE!
============================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>Miracle In Ohio:
2 year old girl found alive
http://tinyurl.com/q86alx2
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
Even though some things are painfully, even dangerously
obvious, they are still incomprehensible to some people.
Take the example of the savant in today's story. Clearly
not understanding the role gasoline plays in an internal
combustion engine, he set a cigarette lighter to his own
gas tank...at a gas station, no less. But the reason why
he did it is the real kicker.
The man in Michigan is lucky to be alive after his stunt
set not only his car but the gas station pump he was
parked at on fire. Security video shows the unidentified
man bending over and applying the lighter to the side of
his vehicle, right next to the open gas tank.
An employee at the gas station hit the automatic stop button
and quickly called the fire department. The man grabbed a
fire extinguisher and put out the flames before firefighters
arrived.
Somehow, the man was not seriously injured and the damage
to the gas station was contained to one pump, which was
destroyed.
He admitted to investigators that he saw a spider crawling
on his gas tank and tried to burn it alive with his lighter.
Surprisingly, the man was not embarrassed to come back to
the gas station the following day to apologize.
-<>-
I am frequently tired and grumpy, but rarely does that result
in me taking my clothes off. Of course, I'm not an attractive
34-year-old woman. Maybe they deal with stress differently
than I do.
The young woman in question is being questioned by the Federal
Bureau of Investigation after allegedly smoking and drinking
during a flight from Las Vegas, Nevada, to Honolulu, Hawaii.
Kristin Sharp, who works as a real estate agent, admitted that
she smoked an e-cigarette and fought with flight attendants.
The incident unfolded on Allegiant Air flight after she
allegedly threw a can of soda. Sharp said that she threw the
can of soda, but it missed the garbage bin.
One passenger told police that Sharp was drunk and belligerent.
She swore and exposed her breasts before throwing the soda can
at employees.
Sharp's boyfriend, Bryant Clark, was on the flight as well. He
called her a good person. He defended her actions, saying that
she was tired and a bit grumpy.
So far, Sharp has not been charged with a crime, but the FBI
is still investigation the incident as most airlines do not
allow using an e-cigarette during a flight.
*-- Denver airport evacuated over 'TNT' wedding favors --*
DENVER - The TSA said a 20-minute evacuation at a Denver
airport was caused by wedding favors labeled "TNT" and
designed to look like explosives. The Transportation
Security Administration said in an Instagram post an
agent monitoring the X-ray machines for checked luggage
at Denver International Airport Sept. 22 noticed a bag
contained small glass bottles bearing wax tops and fuses.
The bag was opened and the bottles were found to be labeled
"TNT." The airport was evacuated for 20 minutes while bomb
specialists examined the items, which turned out to be
novelty wedding favors containing bath salts. The TSA
said agents discovered the bride and groom's names both
started with "T," leading to the "TNT" label. "Be mindful
of what you're traveling with and what it might appear as
on an X-ray monitor," the TSA said in its Instagram post.
*-- Police 'arrest' goat for loitering at Tim Horton's --*
WARMAN, Saskatchewan - Police in Saskatchewan said an
unruly goat that insisted on sleeping in the entrance to
a Tim Horton's was "arrested" while officers sought to
find its owners. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police of
Saskatchewan said two Warman officers were called to the
Tim Horton's early Sunday by employees who said they
repeatedly led the goat out of the eatery, but the animal
would just come back in through the automatic doors and
try to take a nap in the entrance. "The [RCMP] members
believed he was just cold and he decided to lie down and
wanted to sleep in the entrance. He was 'arrested' and
escorted into the police vehicle. He was very unhappy
with this so the members decided to take him home instead
of to holding cells at the detachment," the RCMP said.
The RCMP members went door-to-door but were unable to
identify the goat's owners and Animal Control officials
told them the agency doesn't typically deal with goats.
The wayward goat was taken to a local animal hospital,
where it was later reunited with its owners.
*-- Police: Dog rescued after driving owner's pickup into lake --*
ELLSWORTH, Maine - Police in Maine said a small dog was
to blame for driving its owners pickup truck into a lake
by knocking the vehicle out of gear. The Ellsworth Police
Department said the Yorkie's owner had been walking the
dog around Branch Lake Saturday afternoon and he put the
canine back into his pickup truck while it was idling. Lt.
Harold Page told the Ellsworth American the dog "knocked
the truck out of gear and it rolled down the parking lot
into the lake." The Ellsworth Police Department said in a
Facebook post the dog was rescued from the submerged pickup
by a woman who is a friend of the owner. "The truck was
fully submerged and without the quick response of the
family friend the man would have lost his companion. She
is a hero in my book," the post said. Police said the
pickup was fished out of the lake by a towing crew, but
the vehicle was considered a total loss.
*-- 'Maxi Pad Bandit' suspect arrested in California --*
APPLE VALLEY, Calif. - Police in California said they gave
arrested the "Maxi Pad Bandit" accused of burglarizing an
auto parts store with a feminine hygiene pad on his face.
Apple Valley Police said the man's face was partially
obscured by the pad when he broke into the Battery Mart
after it closed Monday, but surveillance footage was clear
enough for officers to identify him as Gary Victor, 51.
Victor, whom police said they have dealt with in the past,
was arrested Tuesday. Police said they believe he may have
been under the influence of intoxicating substances at the
time of the break-in. Mark Wedell, owner of the Battery
Mart store, said the surveillance footage included a clear
shot of the suspect's face without the sanitary napkin.
"Right away everybody started saying we should call this
guy the Maxi Pad bandit," Wedell told KNBC-TV. "We had a
pretty good picture of his face cause he came to the store
the first time and looked in the window without his Maxi
Pad on," Wedell said. "But when he came back and he had
the maxi pad over his eyes I guess he thought it was going
to take care of everything." Police confirmed the object
on Victor's face was a feminine pad. "It wasn't surprising,
but yes, that is in fact that's what he was trying to
conceal his identity with, and he didn't do a very good
job," police spokeswoman Trish Hill said.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Melinda :)
_____________
_ *** |.--- *** ---.|
( `\( ) * A Prayer to my || (`\( )/`) ||
`> /~\_I COMPUTER ANGELS: || > /~\ < ||
(_/ /\/ || (// \\) ||
\ \ Guide my keystrokes, ||___`| |`___||
jgs / / Keep my programs alive, `-)--|_|--(-'
\/ Protect me from viruses, [=== -- o ]--.
` Back up my drive. __'---------'__ \
[::::::::::: :::] )
Amen. `""'"""""'""""`/T\
jgs \_/
>ENTERING HEAVEN?
Saint Peter was sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark
hoodies, and sagging pants, arrived.
St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I’ll be
right back."
Then he went over to God's chambers and told him who was waiting for
entrance.
God said to Peter:"How many times do I have to tell you, you can't be
judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers.
Go back and let them in!"
So, St. Peter went back to the Gates, looked around, and let out a
heavy sigh. He returned to God's chambers and said, “Well, they're
gone."
“The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God.
"No. The Pearly Gates."
-------
/\ /\
|`\\_,--="=--,_//`|
\ ." :'. .': ". /
==) _ : ' : _ (==
|>/O\ _ /O\|`===. \_/ .===`|<
jgs .-"-. \===' | '===/ .-"-.
.-----{'. '`}---\, .-'-. ,/---{.'. '}-----.
| `"---"` `~-===-~` `"---"` |
>TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2015
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently,
you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to
be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my
children, friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not
too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to
visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very
important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting
older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets
the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all
the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was
in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART!
You can do your bit by remembering to send this e-mail to at least one
unstable person. My job is done! Life is too short for negative drama
and petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!
From one unstable person to another. I hope everyone is happy in your
head - we're all doing pretty well in mine!
---
...LOL! Thanks Melinda!
-<>-
. . - _
. . ~ . ~ - ~ . = . ~
~ ~ __.---~~_~~_~~_~~_~ ~ ~~_~~~
. . .-' ` . ~_ = ~ _ = . ~ . ~
.' `. ~ - = ~ - _ ~ `
~ . }` = - _ ~ - . ~ ` = ~ _ . ~
}` . ~ = ~ = ~ - ~ - _
. } ~ .__,~O ` ~ _ ~ ^ ~ -
`}` - = /#/`-' - ~ = ~ _ ~
~ . } ~ - |^\ _ ~ _ - ~ -_ = _
}` _____ /_ /____ - ~ _ ~ _
jgs }` `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`_ = _ ~ -
_ _ _ }` `. ~ . - _ = ~. ~ = . - =
>Stress
A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and
explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of
water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question,
'half empty or half full?'..... she fooled them all... "How heavy is
this glass of water?", she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how
long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I
hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it
for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same
weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She
continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our
burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes
increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and
rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on
with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.
So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.
Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... pick them up
tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment.
Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it
and the now 'supposed' stress that you've conquered!"
---
...Good one! Thanks Melinda!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Karen :)
_,=.=,_
,'=. `\___,
/ \ (0 | __ _
/ \ ___/ /| | ''--.._
| | \) || | ===|\
', _/ .--' || | ====| |
`"`; ( || | ===|/
[[[[]]_..,_ \|_|_..--;"`
/ .--""``\\ __)__|_
.' .\,,||___ | |
( .' -""`| `"";___)---'|________|__
|\ / __| [_____________________]
\| .-' `\ |.----------.|
\ _ | || ||
jgs ( .-' ) || ||
`""""""""""""` """ """
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat,
and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in
this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall
live in America , we might as well do as the
Americans do."
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling,
"Hot Dogs, get your dogs here," and they both
walk towards the hot dog cart.
"Two dogs, please!," says one. The vendor is very
pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and
hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench
and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior is first to open hers.
She begins to blush, and then, after staring
at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and in
a soft brogue whispers:
"What part did you get?"
---
...LOL! Thanks Karen!
====================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_____ /|
.-'@ & #`'-. //
/ % 8 \ //
| m () _ | //
\ 0 ( '-._/ //
jgs '-.____'. y
When it comes to tunes, my local music shop prefers the sound
of silence. A sign prominently displayed on a grand piano
reads, "The management is not responsible for the actions of
its employees if your child plays 'Heart and Soul' or 'Chop-
sticks' on this instrument.
-<>-
Dobbins lost his eye in an accident and couldn't afford the
price of a glass eye. So he carved one out of wood. But he
was so self-conscious that he never left the house.
Finally, his friend Eddy came over and forced him to go out.
"There's a dance over at the club," he said. "So what if one
of your eyes is made out of wood?"
"All right," said Dobbins, "but if anybody makes fun of my
eye I'm leaving."
He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his
courage. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner.
She was very attractive, but she had a hunchback.
"She's worse off than me," Dobbins thought. "The least I can
do is ask her to dance.
He walked across the crowded dance floor and approached the
girl. "Would you care to dance?" he asked.
"Would I?!" she exclaimed.
"That does it," he shouted, "Hunchback! Hunchback!"
-<>-
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water
mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on,
you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of
fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and
cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of
bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered
corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
-<>-
Our five-year-old grandson couldn't wait to tell his grand-
father about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000
Leagues Under the Sea."
The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept
him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband in-
terrupted Mark, "What made the submarine sink, was it the
octopus?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "No, Grampa, it was
the 20,000 leaks!"
-<>-
When my older brother was very young, he always walked up
to the church altar with my mother when she took communion.
On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, "What does
the priest say when he gives you the bread?"
Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock, years
later, when he learned that the priest doesn't say, "Be
quiet until you get to your seat."
-<>-
The monitor confirmed cardiac arrest as an elderly man
suddenly lost consciousness. After about 20 seconds of
resuscitation, he came to. Explaining to him that his
heart had momentarily stopped, I asked if he remembered
anything unusual during that time.
"I saw a bright light," he said, "and in front of me a
man dressed in white."
Zeroing in on this near-death impression, I inquired if he
could describe the figure.
"Sure, doctor," he replied. "It was you."
=========================================================
>-->From AndyChaps:
.--_....._-------,
/ .' '. /|
/ / P U S H \ / |
/ '._ _.' / |
/ ``````` / /
|----------------| /
| |/
'----------------'
** THINGS THAT COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT MAY BE THE THINGS LEFT
BY THOSE WHO GOT THERE FIRST. ~A Lincoln
** "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the
realization of how much you already have." (Author Unknown)
** The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
-<>-
___,
_.-'` __|__
.' ,-:` \;',`'-,
/ .'-;_,; ':-;_,'.
/ /; '/ , _`.-\
| | '`. (` /` ` \`|
| |:. `\`-. \_ / |
| | ( `, .`\ ;'|
\ \ | .' `-'/
\ `. ;/ .'
'._ `'-._____.-'`
`-.____|
_____|_____
jgs /___________\
>Just Think About This! **
** MORE THOUGHTS TO GET YOU THROUGH ALMOST ANY CRISIS **
***(Edited by Andy)***
* I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
* Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism. (Doesn't make it
right, though says Andy) - [A Selfish, and Chicken way out says emb]
* All things being equal, big people use more soap.
* If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to
blame.
* One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
* By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
* Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
* The more you run over a dead possum, the flatter it gets.
* There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
* This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
* Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig loves
it.
* The trouble with life is, you're half way through it before you
realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.
* Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then
beat you with experience.
-<>-
______ ____
/_____/\ /___/|
/ \ \ __| | |__
/ /\ \/| /__| |/__/|
| | || | ||___ ___|/
| |/_| | | | | |
| __ | | |__|/
| | || | |
| | || | |
|__|/ |__|/
** The Offering **
A hat was passed around a church congregation to take up an
offering for the visiting minister.
Presently it was returned to him...embarrassingly empty.
Slowly the parson inverted the hat and shook it meaningfully.
Then raising his eyes heavenward, he exclaimed, "I thank you,
Lord, that I got my hat back from this congregation."
-<>-
** Banking Industry News From Japan ** (Groaners)
According to industry insiders, the Japanese banking crisis shows no
signs of stopping.
Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are
hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut
back some of its branches.
Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a
song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500
back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop.
Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank
and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
-<>-
___ ___
/ _ \ _.-'_.'
\____`-.____.-'_.-'
`-. _.\.-'
____.-'`__/-._
/ _ .-'` '-._`-._
\___/ '-._'-.
jgs `"`
** The Midnight Scare **
One night at about 3 am my wife was getting up from the toilet
to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously
rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her.
She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign
of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took
a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again!
She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once
again tried to retreat from the bathroom.
This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the
back of her leg! That was, of course, too much to bear. She literally
flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet,
to land screaming by my side.
This is not a pleasant way to wake up. Scrambling into consciousness,
now scared half to death myself, I managed to get the light on.
The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper
neatly marked the path from bed to the bathroom.
-<>-
.-.
; '-.
'O-. '-.
/|\ '-. `:--.
/ | \ '-.( )'-.
/ | \ `||`-. '-.
/___|___\ || '-. '-.
(____|____) || '-. '.
\_______/ || O-'
|| /|\
|| / | \
|| / | \
|| /___|___\
|| (____|____)
__||__ \_______/
____/` `\____
/` `-......-' `\
jgs \_ _/
'--............--'
** I Won't Look **
AT THE SCALE-MANUFACTURERS' convention, people often wanted
to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they
agreed. Some visitors abstained, however, not wishing to
advertise their weight.
A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his
scale by promising her that he would not look and that she
could even cover the digital display so only she could see
her weight.
She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud,
mechanical voice from within the machine announced: "One
hundred and sixty-three."
-<>-
__ _.---._ .--.
.-' `-.__.' `-.__.'
O _________________________________________________
| |':'|':'|':'|':'|':'|':'|':'|':'|':'|':'|':'|':'|'|
| | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12|
| | |
| |_________________________________________________|jgs
| ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
o./ _,,_ _| , _ '-|- _ _ _ ,
o'\ (_|| |(_| /_)(/_(_|_) | | (_|(_)(/_/_)__,
,_|
** SIGNS OF A FRUSTRATED MOTHER **
** Your children know how to read HTML code but can't operate
a vacuum cleaner.
** Your children tell you that you said "yes" and you don't even
remember the question.
** You go to the grocery store and find yourself having a good
time.
** Your husband asks how your day went and you rate it on a scale
of 1-10 repeats of "stop that!" or "no!"
** You can't remember the last time you didn't have to share your
drink.
** You mistakenly tell the kids it's "sanity" time when you meant
to say "bed" time.
** The laundry seems to have taken on an evil nature and you begin
to feel that it's out to get you.
** You dread hearing the phone ring because it's a sure sign
there's about to be trouble amongst the children.
** It's finally your turn on the computer and "Touched by an Angel" is
just coming on.
** You go to sleep with "I'm bored" or "I'm hungry" still ringing
in your ears.
-<>-
___
_/`.-'`.
_ _/` . _.'
..:::::.(_) /` _.'_./
.oooooooooo\ \o/.-'__.'o.
.ooooooooo`._\_|_.'`oooooob.
.ooooooooooooooooooooo&&oooooob.
.oooooooooooooooooooo&@@@@@@oooob.
.ooooooooooooooooooooooo&&@@@@@ooob.
doooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@@@@ooob
doooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@@@oooob
dooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@@@ooooob
dooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@@oooooob
`dooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@ooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooooooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooob'
jgs `dooooooooobodoooooooob'
`doooooooob dooooooob'
`"""""""' `""""""'
** If It Were Not For Bad Luck I'd Have No Luck At All **
Now my wife just left and the well went dry,
and my horse is sick and about to die.
Then my still blew up and the barn burned down,
and the road washed out on the way to town.
Then my dog got rabies and bit the cat,
and they both died soon after that.
Now I lost my specs and my pipe-stem broke,
so I can't even sit and read and smoke.
Then a tree fell on the chicken shed,
and most of the hens got smashed plumb dead.
Then a chimney fire took half of a wall,
and this old shack is about to fall.
Then I caught my heel on an old dead vine,
and sat smack dab on a porcupine.
Then a beaver dam broke and my bridge washed out,
and my watch stopped working and I've got the gout.
And the bank foreclosed so I've lost my place,
and my cow disappeared without a trace.
They cut off my credit at the grocery store,
and I lost my job and a whole lot more.
I must have been hexed by a triple curse,
as things keep going from bad to worse.
And now fate has hit me a last dirty crack,
to top off the worst - my wife's coming back!
-<>-
__..._ _...__
_..-" `Y` "-._
\ THE | /
\\ Bible | //
\\\ | ///
\\\ _..---.|.---.._ ///
jgs \\`_..---.Y.---.._`//
'` `'
** Throwing Away "The Word" of God **
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he
had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old
box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had
printed it.
"Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!"
"You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever
printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million
dollars!"
"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close
to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the
margins by some clown named Martin Luther."
-<>-
, ,
///////|
/////// |
/////// |
|~~~~~| |
|=====| |
| D | |
| I | |
| C | |
| T | |
| I | |
| O | |
| N | |
| A | |
| R | |
| Y | /
jgs |=====| /
'-----'`
** Short Takes **
** "A California congressman was reporting back on his trip from
Baghdad. He said that almost no one spoke English, poison gas
filled the sky, and he saw people firing guns in the street
and that was on the way to the L.A. airport."
-Jay Leno
=================
** "Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while,
nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation." -Kin Hubbard
=================
** Have you ever noticed that about every 28 days or so, your husband begins
acting strangely? Does he wear white gloves and carry a banjo? Does he
insist on referring to you as "Mr. Bones" and your neighborhood as "Dixie"?
Then, my friend, your husband may be suffering from an incurablebut
treatable--disease. Do not hesitate. Call your doctor
immediately. Pre-Minstrel Syndrome can be treated effectively--ask your
doctor.
================
"In America there are two classes of travel - first-class,
and with children." - Robert Benchley
================
Once there was a race between a water hose, a tomato, and lettuce.
Who do you think won? Well, last time I checked, the hose was still running,
the tomato was trying to ketchup, and the lettuce was ahead.
===============
** A Near Death Experience **
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the
hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death
experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said,
"No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live”
Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital
and have a facelift, liposuction, breast augmentation,
tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change
her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to
live, she might as well make the most of it.
She got out of the hospital after the last operation and
while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance
speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she
demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
BiBi's Rescue!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogrescue.html
Stuck Animals!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stuck.html
Maxine On Fall!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonfall.html
Identity Theft 3!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft3.html
Nanny Animals!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals.html
Maria The Goose!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goose.html
Awww Animals 6!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals6.html
Animal Friends 2!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends2.html
Under His Wings!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wings.html
Adam In Paradise!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/adam.html
Dominic And Jobe!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobe.html
Lily And Maddison!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatdanes.html
Why Me? Moments!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whyme.html
Dog Eat Dog World!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogeatdog.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
Senior Marriage !!!
Watch to the end...very short.
http://biggeekdad.com/2010/10/side-by-side/
---
...LOL! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseA :)
I'm a huge fan of Mr. Bean. He can always make me laugh my head off
without saying a single word. Among all the hundreds of hilarious Mr.
Bean sketches, this is one of my all time favorites, as Mr. Bean makes
the most unusual (and a bit embarrassing) sandwich.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bS1ePEZZCDY
For the first time on international television, Patrick Swayze and his
wife Lisa Nieme with their beautiful performance for the World Music
Awards 1994.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y0TWOttkVo
Funny moments with cats - featuring some of the most famous
YouTube felines.
http://tinyurl.com/p6n9r2d
Kitty is in an awkward situation, but chivalry is not dead yet.
Thank goodness for the gentleman dog!
http://tinyurl.com/oovwr7o
---
...Good Ones! Thanks LouiseA!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Cloie :)
She sent us one we have here...
Humorous Ads 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humorad2.html
---
...A riot! Thanks Cloie!
-<>-
>From Our Friend PatDeE :)
Every day is God's gift to you.
What you do with it is your gift to God.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING
I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME
http://www.interviewwithgodsite.com/
On the Road: Ohio boy pays it forward with found fortune
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FCxuVSkT7k&feature=youtu.be
---
...Aww, so touching! Thanks PatDeE!
Another wing suit skydiver dies.
Its unbelievable what these guys will try.
WING SUITER MEETS HIS MAKER
http://safeshare.tv/w/kLlmcNCGBk
---
...Literally! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Karen :)
Why Electricity prices are so high
http://tinyurl.com/ne4uch5
‘Royal Maces’ of Strike Fighter Squadron 27
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnsxWrPUHN8#t=75
Michael Jackson at Super Bowl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idg8TNknvDU
---
...Quite AWESOME! Thanks Karen!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Did you hear about these guys that were lost at sea for nine
months? They were found and rescued. The first thing they
said when they got to shore was, 'Mel Gibson said what?!'"
--David Letterman
"On some flights the only thing airlines are letting you take
on are a passport and cash. The passport, of course, for
identification and the cash, so they can sell you a bottle
of water for $20." --Jay Leno
"More Americans can name the three stooges than the three
branches of government. Well, that's because the three
stooges are more likely to get something done."
--David Letterman
"Did you have trouble at the airport this week? I had to
throw away all my make-up. They said it's because of this
terrorist plot they foiled over in England. I believe
it's an elaborate ruse perpetrated by the big cosmetics
industry. Maybe it's not terrorism. Maybe it's Maybelline."
--Jimmy Kimmel
"Dell computers is offering refunds for customers in China
who sued after getting the wrong microprocessors in their
laptops. Apparently the Americans speaking to the Chinese
through their workers in India somehow had some sort of
miscommunication." --Jim Barach
Housewives aren't the only ones struggling in the suburbs.
One nursery in my town advertised, 'Desperate Houseplants-
25% off!'
'LOST' screamed the ad in my local paper in Celina, Ohio.
'Female medium-size gray tiger cat. Answers to Lucy or Here
Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.'
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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