Archive for the ‘Jews’ Category

Girl #1: Hey are you going to go see The Da Vinci Code?
Girl #2: Yes! My pastor said it was alright as long as I watched The Passion of the Christ right after.
–Midwood High School
Overheard by: the half jewish kid in the corner

Guy: I’m like Jewish, but I’m not. I look Jewish.
Girl #1: Yeah, this one time we were at a diner and he was like, “What can I get for $3?”
Girl #2: So, that’s why you assumed…
Girl #1: Yeah, he’s so Jewish.
–1 train
Overheard by: Alix

A Gentile Yuppie: I once dated a Rabbi’s daughter, in the Hamptons. I went to a family barbeque, and he asked me, ‘Do you want cheese on your hamburger?’ and I thought, ‘Ah–this is a moment of truth–one of those key moments in a relationship, where the family will judge me–what should I say?’ and I said, ‘Yes, I would’–and then the Rabbi responded, ‘Great! Then Cheese for Everybody!'”
— Bar Tabac, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

Man: I am concerned about breeding.Friend: Breeding?!Man: Yeah, you know — Jews are pretty inbred. I’m probably going to have kids with three fingers or something. I should have married someone into running — big and athletic.

Runners-Up:· “But Jews Do Run. They Run Everything.” – Rottin’ in Denmark· “Instead Of That Gimp Cousin Of Mine” – Uberjim· “The E in EHarmony Stands for Eugenics” – quazarfreez· “The Final Solution 2.0″ – Scott Gresham· “They’re Called Germans: But They May Not Be So Into That…” – Caitorade· “You Know, Someone Who Could Win a “Master Race”” – Mike T