Feature

Hard Lovin'

Alibi's Second Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest

By Steven Robert Allen

Kevin Burgess and Drew Coduti’s nail through a heart

Yes, as you might expect, lots of Alibi readers are cynics with icy hearts. (Actually, that description applies to most of the Alibi staff as well.) Even the iciest heart, though, would melt in the blazing oven of love that was our Second Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest.

We'd like to plant extra gooey dark chocolate kisses on our wonderful sponsors this year. Valentine's Day really wouldn't be the same without you. The ultra hip Martha's Body Bueno, located at 3105 Central NE (255-1122) in Nob Hill, is one of the few places in town where you can get naughty sex toys, oils and other erotic paraphernalia and not have to worry about encountering some scruffy, wild-eyed pervert in a trench coat. Masseur John Wolfe from Knot Works (8220 La Mirada NE, Suite 100, 489-2788) is a master at working out the knottiest of muscle clumps. Nob Hill's brand new Gruet Steakhouse (3201 Central NE, 256-9463) will offer an elegant, fun dining experience with one of the best wine lists in the city. Buffett's Candies (7001 Lomas NE, 265-7731) is a great place to load up on Valentine's sweets, while the Guild (3405 Central NE, 255-1848) is the perfect place to take a Valentine's date with discriminating cinematic tastes.

Thanks to Food Editor Gwyneth Doland and Calendar Editor Laura Marrich for bringing some feminine insight to the judging process. Thanks also to all of you who entered. Just because you didn't win doesn't mean we don't love you.

First Place

P. Tucson’s fab masterwork gets first place.

Like one of those ceramic figurines dotting Grandma's mantel, P. Tuscon's entry is so cute it's almost creepy. His card is a Hummel-meets-Hallmark masterpiece of ribbons, lace and cute baby angels with dewy eyes and rosy cheeks. We can't imagine how long it must have taken Tuscon to assemble this multi-textural melange of glittery, fuzzy and metallic objects, layered onto different backgrounds. He must have worn his Exacto blade dull preparing all the intricate cut-outs of hearts and flowers that make this far-from-ordinary card look like a treasure from the Precious Moments museum. Antoniette A. is one lucky lady! Tucson will receive a special basket of love from Martha's Body Bueno along with two tickets to the Guild, a $10 gift certificate to Buffett's Candies and an Alibi T-shirt. (GD)

Inside P. Tucson’s card

Second Place

No bows, no lace, no cherubic grin. Instead a warped, shit-brown heart puckers up around a pitted, rusty nail. Cupid is pissed ... and we like it! Big chocolate kisses to Kevin and Drew for reminding us that love comes in many flavors, and they don't all necessarily obey the laws of syntax. "Love Aint Always Pretty" also scored them an hour massage with John Wolfe at Knot Works, two tickets to the Guild flick of their choice, $10 in goodies from Buffett's Candies and a fabulous Alibi T-shirt. Yeah, love hurts. It hurts soooo good. (LM)

Third Place

Christopher Knerr’s freaky Valentine story

Christopher Knerr's immaculately illustrated card reads like a three-page graphic novel. We're not quite sure we follow the story line, but we're intrigued nonetheless. For his graphic brilliance, Knerr will receive a gift certificate for two to the Gruet Steakhouse, two tickets to the Guild Cinema, a $10 gift certificate to Buffett's Candies and one of those mythical Alibi T-shirts everyone seems to be talking about. Nice work! (SRA)