A Washington DC matchmaker blogs about life & love in the real world

The Absurdity of Tech in Your Love Life

I sent him a tweet and he responded via Snapchat, so I replied with a goofy selfie snap and then sent him a text to follow up when he didn’t open it after a few hours. He called me and we chatted but he asked me to send him an email to finish up since I had to hop off early to run errands. I did that, but realized he never mentioned anything about the postcard I sent from my work trip so I Facebook messaged him to ask if any snail mail had shown up at his door.

Can we all agree that this is ridiculous?

The sheer number of ways in which we communicate with each other has gotten so out of hand it’s positively absurd.

And, honestly, it’s not like all of these available messaging channels have made it any easier. If anything, when it comes to your love life, every one of these apps is essentially just an entirely new platform on which to feel slighted or rejected.

When the person you’re communicating with most doesn’t live in your state, technology might feel like a godsend. It might make you think that everything can stay exactly as it was when you shared a zip code. But in reality, you talk just enough to get invested. Just enough to care. Just enough for it to make your heart ache that you’re timezones apart.

We all bounce around from our phones to our computers. We’re Gchatting, Facebooking, Snapchatting, Instagramming, Tweeting, and WhatsApping to the point where we have so many options it’s dizzying and sometimes it feels easier to just pause and ask, is anyone worth this?

At the end of the day, it’s a huge relief to put down your phone and not think about the next notification that may or may not pop up on your screen. Because in-between messages, while you wait for a reply, there’s so much wondering. So much self-doubt. So much analysis that goes into every letter of every word of every text.

What does he mean? Should I wait to respond? How much of a delay is long enough to make it seem like I’m busy and distracted by my SUPER COOL AWESOME LIFE without taking so long that it’s insulting? How many emojis is too many emojis???

HOW DO I DO THIS?

I want to feverishly chuck my phone over the railing of my balcony while he sits next to me calmly, tracing his thumb over the lines in my palm. I want actual face-to-face, mouth to ear, close-enough-to-touch communication.

I just want him here. No screens, no machines, forming a barrier between us. Is that too much to ask?