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A Letter to my Younger Self

Dear Hannah

You don't really watch doctor who right now (you should) but let's just say you've managed to hop aboard a cool time travelling box with a handsome man to deliver this letter to your 17 year old self. You're currently pregnant, 1st or 2nd trimester, that wasn't clever but dont worry it'll all be fine. Your daughter won't sleep much so you should cram that in rather than watching trashy tv until late. Make sure you talk more and be honest with those around you. You're going to be exhausted, sore. Start speaking up for yourself. You'll never be one for confrontation or giving your opinion but you do start to say 'no' more often in the future, I'd suggest you go for it now. A room full of people will want to visit you when your baby girl isn't even 24 hours old. Please say no, or make sure someone says no, please!!

Save your money. You don't particularly waste it but you do have plenty of moments of spending a bit too much. Trust me you'll need the pennies, there's a few spanners in your future works. You'll get through it but it would be easier without borrowing money. I can't tell you more than that. If I do you won't end up in the lovely place you are now.

Things will be tough for a few years but you're not alone. Communicate with your future husband (yes you do get married, and yes it is in 2012 like he always said so stop badgering him and wasting your time, having arguments etc, you are so lucky to have him) Don't do that college course you're thinking about, it'll be seriously bad for you, not doing it doesn't change your future it'll just make your anxiety worse. Don't worry, you'll break your anxiety to a certain degree, I'm still working on the rest, we dogreat things!

A few other pointers: Stay in the birthing pool, don't destroy your diaries and notebooks because you will wish you had them still. You love to write, you have loads of pen friends; it's your favourite hobby! So is keeping memories and you'll often wish you had kept more than one silly year 7 Winnie the Pooh calendar dairy! Finally, very soon you'll be totally banished to the free from aisle in the supermarket. Don't carry on eating and making yourself feel like a fat sick thing, I happily condone the spending of some of those saved pennies on chocolates you love, cereals that actually stop tasting like cardboard (you better believe it!) and oh yes, pretty soon you'll be able to get cakes, biggish cakes that you can scoff all to yourself (you do, you're pregnant, no one judges you. Well may be a bit) so I'd suggest a stock up of those.

All my love

Hannah (you) xxxxx

Ps Don't eat quite so much after the babies, don't buy a bed from pound stretcher, don't dither about blogging because it's the making of you in many ways and lastly, don't lose yourself. I'm struggling to find a bit of the old you, the you you're soon to be in a few years. Fun, crafty, really happy. Hold on to that for me. Oh, and don't get a dog, your Dads right..

Laughed so much at the ending, knew Dad would be right. Sure he'd like to hear that too haha! Great post hun. I'd also tell your teenage self before pregnancy to be nicer to your amazing little sister, not have phone calls 'till really late during the week nights when she had school, and have your mowhawked boyfriend sleep over less, 'cause I didn't sleep for most of year nine with that snoring haha! I joke :P

I didn't know you'd destroyed all your journals, I always think about throwing all mine away because I talked such absolute crap but they're pretty hilarious at the same time! I think they're an important thing to keep, it's a shame you got rid of them!

I also didn't know you bought a bed from pound stretcher...what were you thinking?!

It makes me so happy that you've come to love yourself and are truly happy! There was a time when you were a really miserable teenager and I know you had a lot going on at points too, wasn't a lot I could do as a little sister who you'd lock out of her own room :P But I'm so proud of you, and everything you've accomplished, especially bringing up those beautiful babies of yours <3