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A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn....

It's gonna get harder before it gets easier. But it will get better, you just gotta make it through the hard stuff first.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Last of WS.

I understand you might be expecting a vacation trip report, and it will come. But for now I need to put a closure on this year's WS100. Besides, I have Mike's pictures that I don't know where else to store:)

Actually, this post is much related to the trip. I had time to evaluate and make some sense of my run. It's not to say I am not sad anymore - I am. I had trained my hardest this year and expected the performance to mirror it. Unfortunately, things went wrong. The trick about running distance is - things often go wrong, for oh, so many of us. We just have to get up, dust off and do it again. BTW, in the medical study I happend to be in a placebo group, what means my "no soreness on day 2 after the race" is due to been well fit, not to taking quercetin. Nice to know:) I don't know if I be in this shape again, but it was a great fun to get there.

Anyhow, besides lots of thinking I spent quite some time talking to Oleg and to Lisa Smith-Batchen. It helped. It made me think on why I do it. Why? Who for? Often it seems I care too much for what others will think about me. Not just in running. Even putting this post on makes me uncomfortable, like I can't not been honest yet I rather not have too many people to read it. I am always afraid to dissapoint someone. I feel that I give promise and don't deliver. My first two years were blissful - I was running completely for myself, not knowing anybody. There is a reason I like to travel for races far - I can run my own pace, my own power, never a nerve to twitch. There is a negative side in it - I don't get the social part of ultrarunning. How to strike a balance? I need to learn to be blissful under any circumstances. I need to look deep inside and see WHY I started it. How I feel when I train alone. What I say to others. I need to dig it out again. I need to believe my friends will like me no matter what. Not for the finishing time, but for the smile. For the passion. For the ability to push it through and still like it no matter what. I can not loose that "liking it". I will have nothing left. And I think I am going the right direction...

Enjoy the show. It won't happen again for another year, and even that if I get in by lottery!

Dr. Bob Lind - a prominent figure at WS100 since day one. He remembers everybody's name and can tell your story to anyone who is willing to listen. He also is very excited I have a connection with medicine and talks medical reseacrh to me while I try to forget I work at all:)

My second time on pre-race podium (first was in 2004, after Umstead win, and was I scared!). Ronda Sundermeier (left) gets to be there again next year - perfect run. Luanne Park had to stop. Bev Abbs took second for the second year in a raw.

Jorge Pacheco - a great man and a true idol of the sport. Had to endure dehydration and electrolite screw up and stopped at Michigan.

Team Oregon (half). It's a tradition. 16 and half hours to the start...

Robinson Flat, first crew point, mile 30. 7 lbs under and worried but not in disaster mode yet. Gordy behind - the "guy who started it all".

Too fast for the camera at Michigan Bluff! Mile 55, a show-down. Great place to realize how blessed people with other people.

Waiting for the raft at the river crossing, mile 78. I am actually hopeful for the things to get better after some 7 miles of legitimate running.

Green Gate, new pacer Gail. I want to SLEEP!! Mile 80.

Hwy 49, mile 93. I am NOT even pretending to be cheerful. I am all business to have it done and over.

A cruel joke after 98 miles on your feet - a climb to Robie Point.

Finally - a finish line.

Getting THAT buckle. I don't look too bad after a 100 miler, even slow:)

It was a good time. I am glad I did it. And I will do it again and again.

13 comments:

Glad you are back. And that the positive attitude and upbeat personality we all love are back too. The time away has done you good. Sounds like you got things in perspective. Looking forward to hearing about the vacation.

Great job Olga. How did you find out you had the Placebo so quickly? I haven't heard which group I was in. I too had no soreness after two days. I am curios now. Maybe my training wasn't all that bad either.tom

Great marriages are the result of two mature, grown up people – both of whom have full, satisfying lives – cooperating with each other to get their needs met. In this kind of differentiated relationship, each partner compliments the other, but doesn’t complete them.

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“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” - e. e. Cummings

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." M. Scott Peck

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"It is not that my identity is running. But I need running to keep figuring out what my identity is."