Written by a rollergirl, this blog is dedicated to challenge the misconceptions of women and size.

Monday, February 4, 2008

My New Addiction

Even through all the recent female trouble bullshit, I’ve still managed to find some sort of silver lining. For the past few days I’ve found myself strangely excited about the possibility of switching birth control methods, but why?

I asked myself this question the other day, and the only reason I could muster is because switching methods would mean something new. And apparently new equals exciting to me. I never realized this about myself before.

Thinking back, I tend to do this a lot. For instance, last week I ran out of my face lotion, but instead of buying more (it works great) I decide to try something else – and the something else sucks, but now I feel like I have to use it anyhow, because the box is already in the trash.

In the past, I’ve done this with nearly everything I’ve consumed: razors, wine, vacuum cleaners, and skate wheels to name a few. And no matter how good one type or brand of any one of these items work, I still can’t keep myself from trying something different. What’s worse, I sometimes won’t go back to what did work, because I still want to try something different. The newness excites me, even if that excitement only lasts from the time I buy it until I get it home.

I think I’m a newness addict – a fucking addict! Instead of buying or using only the things that I really like or are of the best quality, I go for the “quick fix” of buying or using whatever, because it’s new. I’m straight up addicted to the new.

The sad part about the impending IUD removal is that I really like my IUD. I like that it’s non-hormonal. I like that it cost $10 to insert and nothing else (for up to 10 years). I like that I don’t have to take anything everyday at a certain time or worry about antibiotics affecting its efficacy. I like it! Unfortunately, I can’t keep it. So, maybe in this instance it’s not so bad that I’m excited about the new.

Aside from the unfortunate need to switch birth control methods I really would like to get out of this cycle of consuming and using “new” things for the sake of getting excited for a short while. I think it’s the root of my shopping addiction, and possibly part of my issues with food. Now that I’ve talked my way into realizing this about myself, I’m going to try and be more mindful of my actions.