Carl W. Kenney II is an award winning columnist and novelist. He is committed to engaging readers into a meaningful discussion related to matters that impact faith and society. He grapples with pondering the impact faith has on public space while seeking to understand how public space both hinders and enhances the walk of faith.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Home not home, but it's good to be home

It’s
my sixth day in Columbia, MO – almost a week. It all seems so surreal

Home
isn’t home yet. The house is the same as when I left Columbia 30 years
ago.The furniture is the same. The
first television my pops purchased is parked in the living room. It doesn’t
work.It serves as a reminder of when
color television came to replace black & white.My old Bose 501 speakers are surrounded by
old cassettes.Many are recordings of my
former radio show on KOPN FM.

Maybe
I’ll make a return to radio.

Maybe
I’ll…

There’s
something special about cleansing.It
comes with both good and bad – like cleansing your colon.You have to drink the bad and wait for the
movement before you feel the benefits of flushing out all that junk.I know, I know – too much information. That’s
the way this feels.

The
good news is the news that it’s good for you.Good health requires that we suck it in, take our medicine and wait for
the results.Did I mention I’ve already
lost 5 pounds?A lot has been lost since
leaving Durham, North Carolina to move back home.I’m still waiting for the things I’ll gain.

Most
of my clothes are stacked on the floor in the bedroom.I haven’t found time to move the clothes in
the closet to the garage.I have six
boxes of clothes waiting to be shipped here from Durham.There’s no room for them.That describes my life here – there’s no
space for my life.I simply have to find
a way to make it all fit.

I
still read the Durham Herald-Sun, the News & Observer, the Durham News and
the Independent Weekly.I rise every
morning at 4:30 am to begin my day.After reading newspapers and writing in my journal, I prepare my pops
breakfast.After feeding him, giving him
his meds and confirming his schedule for the day, I do my best to find time for
me.

Just
a little.

Soon,
it’s time to cook lunch.There are
doctor appointments almost every day.The nurse comes to the house three days a week.The phone calls come in daily from my sister
and mother.They’re concerned about my
pops big toe.His doctor is considering
amputation.Pops says he’s prepared for
the worse.He keeps smiling like it’s no
big deal.I know the truth.

He’s
tired. After two open heart surgeries, a bout with cancer, an aneurism,
enduring a diabetic coma, bacterial meningitis and numerous strokes, he has
every right to be tired. After countless visits to the hospital and
rehabilitation centers, his journey makes me tired.

He
keeps smiling.

Over
1000 insulin syringes are stuffed in a closet.They are packed in with the other medical supplies shipped monthly.They keep coming despite the fact pops has
more than he will ever use.The company
that sends them knows Medicare will pay the bill.A short look in the closet solves the riddle
of why Medicare is losing money.

A
company called Signature Foods delivers meals for the week every Thursday.The frozen meals are packed in the
freezer.They can’t be good for
you.I refuse to accept they’re the best
option.I’ve been searching for a Whole
Foods and local gardens.My pops loves
the frozen meals.I’m begging him to
stop drinking milk, but his doctor tells him to drink three glasses a day.I talk to him about eating less meat and eating
fresh vegetables.I feel the coming of a
civil war.

I
haven’t had coffee since my arrival.I broke
away for two hours on Tuesday to visit the editor of Inside Columbia
Magazine.She offered to contract with
me to write for the magazine.The
managing editor at a local newspaper meets with me next week.

I
did go to church on Sunday.I felt out
of place.The church is 50 yards from my
pops house.I preached my first sermon
there in 1979.I counted 5 people I
knew.I walked home after the service
and asked God what it all means.God
didn’t answer my question.

It’s
time to cook pops lunch.I have to call
his doctor and ask about the IV that wasn’t removed from his arm when he left
the hospital on Saturday.The nurse at
the doctor’s office told me the people at the wound clinic were supposed to
remove it on yesterday.The people at
the wound clinic told me it wasn’t there responsibility.They said they were only advised to take care
of my pops foot.It’s been an hour since
the nurse said she would call me back.

Maybe
I’ll get out later today to get a cup of coffee.Maybe I will meet new friends at the
coffeehouse.Maybe I’ll…

I’m
praying pops blood sugar drops before he eats his lunch.It was 238 at breakfast.It’s been as high as 382 this week.

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Carl W. Kenney II

Carl was named the best serious columnist of 2011 by the North Carolina Press Association for his work with the News & Observer's community paper The Durham News and in 2016 by the Missouri Press Association for his columns in the Columbia Missourian. He is a columnist with the News & Observer and Co-Executive Producer of "God of the Oppressed" an upcoming documentary film on black liberation theology. He is a former Adjunct Professor at the University of Missouri - School of Journalism and Adjunct Instructor at Duke University, the Center for Documentary Studies. He received his Bachelor’s degree in Journalism from the University of Missouri-Columbia. He furthered his education at Duke University and attained a Master of Divinity. He was named a Fellow in Pastoral Leadership Development at the Princeton Theological Seminary on May 14, 2005. He is a freelance writer with his commentary appearing in The Washington Post, Religious News Services,The Independent Weekly and The Durham Herald-Sun. Carl is the author of two novels: “Preacha’ Man” and the sequel “Backslide”.
He has led congregations in Missouri and North Carolina