‘I’ll never be confident with my body’: MIC’s Binky Felstead on anxiety, body image and love

BEING bullied at school has left her desperately insecure

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By SCARLETT RUSSELL

22nd May 2016, 12:05 am

Updated: 22nd May 2016, 12:05 am

STRIDING out of a dressing room in bright-blue stilettos and a yellow swimsuit, Alexandra Felstead – Binky to her friends, family and around 1 million Made In Chelsea viewers – looks the epitome of self-assurance.

In front of the camera she pouts, throws back her long, tousled hair and pulls some pretty fierce poses, which show off her gym-toned figure to perfection.

But as soon as the camera drops, the 25 year old fidgets, covers her stomach and politely requests more make-up.

Even after five years on one of the UK’s most famous (and infamous) reality TV shows original cast member Binky struggles with a lack of self-esteem.

Even after five years on one of the UK’s most famous reality TV shows Binky, an original cast member, struggles with a lack of self-esteem

One minute she oozes confidence, the next she appears hugely insecure and admits to bouts of “terrible anxiety”.

That’s despite being an enviable size 8, boasting 1 million devoted Instagram followers, a clothing line at Inthestyle.com and various beauty endorsements – not to mention a gorgeous boyfriend, fellow MIC cast member Josh “JP” Patterson, 26.

After the shoot, Binky tells Fabulous how she’s ditched boozy nights at Raffles for home-made soup and gruelling gym sessions, and why she’s still battling her body demons.

Despite being an enviable size 8, Binky says she doesn't think she will ever be confident with her body and she would like to tone up a lot more

Binky, you look hot! You must be happy with your figure these days?

I don’t think I’ll ever feel confident with my body, but I’m OK at the moment. I want to tone up a lot more.

I don’t mind my legs or my arms. My problem area is my hips.

Is that the reason you’ve lost weight in the past few months – going from a size 10-12 to a size 8?

There wasn’t a specific thing.

I didn’t exercise for a month at the start of the year, but as soon as I went back to the gym, waking up and working out instead of being hungover and eating crap felt amazing.

Binky has dropped from a size 10-12 to a size 8 in the past few months and says waking up and working out instead of being hungover and eating 'crap' felt amazing

How often do you go to the gym?

I try to go four times a week, usually for an hour and occasionally 90 minutes.

I do half an hour on the treadmill with an incline, changing up the speed so it’s spurts of high intensity.

Then I do 15-minute circuits that vary, but generally include squats and burpees.

Then 15 minutes of core work, such as planks and sit-ups.

Have you changed your diet?

I’ve become more aware of what I eat.

If I’m craving sugar I’ll have it, but I’ll have vegan chocolate, which is better for you.

My mum has taught me to make soups from scratch, including a delicious chicken, coconut and vegetable spicy broth.

When MIC started, I was 19 and going out all the time, like Toff [MIC’s Georgia Toffolo] and the young girls do now.

I look at their Snapchats and I’m like: “Oh my god, they’re out again!” I can’t do that any more.

My hangovers last four days now and it’s just not worth it.

Does being on TV make you feel pressured to slim down?

The girls on the show are naturally slim, whereas I’m curvier and need to exercise.

I get bad anxiety, but if I smash out an hour of high-intensity cardio I feel much happier.

Binky with MIC co-star Rosie Fortescue: She says the other girls on the show are naturally slim whereas she needs to exercise

What do you get anxious about?

Anything and everything. The future. Letting people and myself down.

I feel I have to project a positive image all the time, which is a lot of pressure.

When you’re in front of the camera you seem so confident...

On a shoot, it’s easier. Your photographer today made me feel at ease and told me how to pose.

I think I show more vulnerability on the show and that’s the real me.

But if I feel happy, then I will project a happier image.

I still always over think. I’m very insecure.

Binky on MIC with co-star Nicola Hughes: She says she feels like she has to constantly project a positive image, but that she shows more vulnerability on screen, which is the real her

Where does that insecurity come from?

I was bullied at school. Ages 12 to 16 are hard anyway, but being bullied at that time in my life stuck with me.

Around then my parents divorced, too. There were some tough times.

It affected my general confidence.

I had therapy and I still do – I think everyone can benefit from it.

I’m fortunate that I can also talk to my mum about everything.

Getting older has made me hardened to a lot of stuff, but some insecurities will never leave.

Binky with boyfriend and MIC star Josh 'JP' Patterson: She says her insecurity stems from being bullied as a teenager and although therapy has helped her become hardened to some things, some insecurities 'will never leave'

What sort of comments do you get on social media?

Most are lovely and supportive.

I’ve been called stupid which doesn’t really bother me – I know I’m not the brightest. I’m an “arty type” as Mummy says!

I’ve been called too skinny, which is ridiculous.

When Alex Mytton cheated on me and I took him back, people had a lot of opinions.

Now, if I know there’s a big storyline coming up, I won’t look at the comments.

Most of the time trolls just want you to react, but it’s never made me cry.

Who on the show do you speak to about your problems?

JP is great for advice, so is Ollie Locke.

Lucy [Watson] is all about tough love and sometimes she’s a little too honest for me.

Has JP prompted this change in your lifestyle, too?

Definitely. JP goes to the gym all the time and eats very healthily, so makes me want to as well.

We have gone to the gym together, but I’ll look over and he’ll pull a stupid face at me and I get embarrassed.

Binky says online trolls have never made her cry and that comments saying she is too skinny are 'ridiculous'

You both seem very happy. Do you two talk about the future?

We wouldn’t be together if there wasn’t some thought of the future, but that’s not to say we’re getting married any time soon.

I’m JP’s first girlfriend and he always says he’s a one-woman man.

I feel settled with him.

What are you like together off-camera?

I think we’re more relaxed because the show can heighten certain situations.

He’s very sweet and loving.

I drive us to Norfolk where his parents live and we take the dogs there.

I run him baths, too. Thoughtful!

Binky is looking forward to settling down and having babies - she's even thought of baby names, but she doesn't discuss it with JP as he'd 'probably have a heart attack!'

How long do you see yourself on MIC for?

I don’t know.

I grew up with the show and feel very loyal to it, but I would like to do other things.

Maybe presenting something fun on TV. I love DJing, too.

And what’s your personal life got in store?

I’m looking forward to settling down at some point and bringing up lots of babies.

I’d love a big country house with horses, dogs, chickens and ducks and a little pad in London, too.

I have thought of baby names, but I don’t discuss it with JP. He’d probably have a heart attack!