boobs not on a plane

14 August, 2006

Tell me one thing. Just this one thing.

Can we now expect to be routinely felt up by TSA employees in their efforts to keep our planes gel-free? Are they to be specially trained in detecting real vs enhanced boobies? What about the entirely fake ones, are they also to be trained in the identification of boob jobs? Will this be a secondary screen? What will be the trigger — being over a certain size? Wearing a bra? Cleavage? Will there be a return to pat-downs? Will someone invent Boob Wands?

Lest you think I am (only) going for the cheap laugh, what about masectomy prostheses? Will they need to be checked in baggage as well, forcing breast cancer survivors to travel one-boobed? Is this the price of freedom from fear? Or… will they simply trust us? After all, women are so much less violent than men.

And do NOT even get me started about the shoes, and how clear the loopholes in that rule made it that the security process in American airports is about dominance and humiliation instead of security. If people really cared about security Bruce Scheneier would have Michael Chertoff’s job.

[…] CC points to the Canadian list of banned substances. Boobs are not among them. Cathie from Canada gets the hat tip for the Nudists on a Plane. Other bloggers realize the threat to dignity as well. […]