If the season's entertainment offerings seem a little, well, skewed toward Christianity and Charles Dickens, good news: A Red Orchid Theatre has heard your plaintive cry. That's why, this season, it offers a new spin on candy cane-flavored entertainment via A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant--an hourlong show that's exactly what its name promises. Directed by Lance Baker and Steve Wilson, nine pre-teens and one 14-year-old take on the roles of L. Ron Hubbard, Tom Cruise, and Xenu to satirically--but also, factually--recount the origin of one of the world's most misunderstood religions. Decider attended a recent showing of the play, and afterwards, held a round-table discussion with the actors on their true feelings about Scientology.