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Part 15: Tao: Story 03

After wandering around for a while, Litchi and Taokaka found themselves in a strange cavern full of massive, ominous machines...Oh god how did we get here.

It's such a strange place. I've never seen this before. I wonder where we are?This is... It can't be...the NOL's...

I had not expected to see the two of you.Meow! A weirdo!?You... Hakumen!?Hm...you must carry many sins.Not 'you do', but 'you must'. Hakumen has some pretty loose criteria for murdering people. "Giant cat and huge rack? Yeah fuck it, you guys are gone."..!?You look pretty cocky. I don't think I like you...A relic of an age gone by... Hmph. It bears little resemblance to the original.The what of what, what?Uhh...How pathetic. You do not even know the reason you exist.I don't know what you're talking about. Do you, boobie lady?Um...uhh...we're in trouble...

Taokaka was pretty sure Litchi knew something about what was going on, but she just mumbled to herself and wouldn't tell Taokaka anything.

Meow! What's the matter, neow...? You should talk so Tao can understand you! I don't like nyew!Ha ha ha...let me see your true power, little abomination.

I only got to challenge 6, Tao is hard.

So, for Tao VS Hakumen in CS2 it was a pretty even match. Tao can run circles around Hakumen in most situations, but she's also got low health and Hakumen has some pretty good pokes. Basically both players get to play really cautiously and the match is based mostly on momentum. Tao will be flying around a lot and hopefully not get hit and lose a ton of health while she's pressuring.

That's right! Tao wins!The DNA of the cat has stood you in good stead.It can't be! I beat you up just neow!

...But you are still far less than the original. Your blows are as flies landing on my armor.WOOP WOOP.This isn't looking too good, meow! We gotta get out of here, boobie lady!I know!

Hmm... I did not foresee that they would be able to escape. A side effect of the distortion, perhaps... Hmph, interesting.Well. You just stood there. I mean, what did you expect?

We should be safe neow--Wait a minute... Where are you, boobie lady?

Litchi was nowhere to be seen. In their rush to escape Hakumen, Taokaka and Litchi had been separated.

...I wonder if boobie lady is all right, meow. I guess I'll head back home for neow.

Meow? I thought it was the village, but I've come to a strange place, meow.

Taokaka had wandered all the way to a town called Fifth Avenue. She didn't know that, of course... She had no idea where she was.Welcome to Fifth Avenue, population 143 hangbags.

Everywhere I look, there are strange buildings. I wonder which direction Tao should go neow? Meow! Excuse me, lady over there! Can I ask you for directions?

The woman looked up from the machine she was tinkering with to examine Taokaka.

One of the Kaka kittens. What're you doing here?Oh, you know who I am, meow? Uh, do I know you, tail lady?I'm Kokonoe. Seriously though... Why is someone from the Kaka clan on the upper level? You guys aren't supposed to leave Lost Town. You're gonna be in some deep shit if the Library finds out.Uh, to answer why Tao is here, meow... I'm not sure.Huh. Guess you didn't inherit any of your progenitor's intelligence. Oh man... I hope you weren't intentionally created without a brain.Is that something delicious?...Never mind. So, you lost or something?Meow. Now that you mention it, I think I may have gotten lost! That's gotta be right! Tao got lost, meow! Wait a minute. Lady, is that tail...

It was then that Taokaka noticed that Kokonoe had not one, but -two- tails, as well as what appeared to be a pair of cat ears sprouting out of her head.

Meow! You are Kaka, too?Uh, no, not really. Hmm... Explaining it's gonna be a bitch...I guess you can think of me as a kind of relative of the Kaka clan.Wow, a relative, meow! People with tails are never bad! We'll be friends neow!Well, you're...energetic, at least. Maybe it wouldn't do too much damage to you then... All right, hold on a minute. I think I can send you back to the village.You'll send me home, meow? Tao will do anything!

Kokonoe gave Taokaka a smirk and pointed to the machine she'd been working on. It was a big, complicated thing, and there was a tube sticking out of it that was big enough for a person to get in.

If Taokaka had known what a cannon was, she would have thought that Kokonoe's machine looked just like one.

Get into that tube.SEEMS LEGITLike this?

Taokaka scrambled up the side of the machine and hopped into the tube. It was nice and dark and quiet inside. It occurred to Taokaka that the tube might be a good place for a nap.Still not seeing a problem with this.

Meow. This tube isn't bad at all, meow. So what's next, lady?Oh, all you need to do is sit there. All right. On the count of three... Three, two, one, go!Meooooooow!Huh. I was sure she could handle a dimensional shift, but I guess she's not in top form just yet...Well, the angle and speed are good, so she should be fine. Hope that hole she's boring through Orient Town isn't going to cause any problems...Meowwww!?

A screaming meteor named Taokaka shot through the buildings of the Hierarchical City, leaving destruction in its wake, before finally embedding itself in the plaza of the Kaka village.

Wh-What's going on!?There's a big hole in the ceiling!Something fell from the sky!There are still lotsa things falling from the hole!It's shrimp! Crab! Fish!A chunk of ham! Sausage! Jerky!Fruit! Almond jelly! Meat buns!

Sunlight streamed through the hole Taokaka had torn in the metal plate covering
the village. Rays of light filtered through the dust she'd thrown up with her
landing.

It's the sun! The sun! Hooray! It's so warm!It's building, but it's pretty.Let's make this place our playground!Yeah, let's do that!Oh, hey, isn't that Tao over there?

The thing the kitten had pointed at was struggling desperately to pull its head out of the ground. After a minute or so of work, it finally succeeded, landing hard on its backside as Taokaka's head popped out of the hole in the ground.

That was one awful fall neow.Are you all right, Tao?Boobie lady! Look who's here! Tao's fine, meow! See? So why are you in the village, boobie lady?We got separated on the way here, right? I wanted to make sure you made it home safely, so I came here.Oh, really? Tao's just fine, meow. A kind lady with pink hair and a tail at some strange place sent me home, like kaboom!A lady with pink hair...and a tail...?

If Taokaka had been paying attention, she might have noticed that Litchi seemed to know who the pink haired woman had been, but there was food falling from a hole, and that was much, much more important.

It's a good day! Food falling from the sky. Nice going, God, meow! Let's all pick it up and eat!HELL YEAH GOD.'K!

Litchi sighed and looked up at the gaping hole above them, trying to work out what Taokaka had smashed through on the floor above.

...If I remember correctly, that's where the pantry for the liquor shop used to be. It's unfortunate to be them. But I heard that they fudge expiration dates on their products, so I guess it's punishment from above.De-! It's all sooo delicious, meow! Hey, don't fight over there, you three!'K!The village is so peaceful today, too. It's all thanks to Tao...

That was a pretty cool ending, right? I guess we'll have to ruin it by going back and getting one of the real ones, though. Prepare for another choice next time, Tao's got a lot of them.

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