#23 Monthsary: Be Your Shield During Thunderstorms

“I want to protect you from any thunderstorms, shield you from all harms and dangers, and be there for you during bad days.”Celeste Koh

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This monthsary drawing was inspired by an unhappy incident that happened to Taenggu during Mnet Asian Music Awards (MAMA) 2016 held at Hong Kong earlier that same month.

On 2nd December, Taenggu was scheduled to attend MAMA 2016 and she would have a solo performance stage as well. Wiz Khalifa was also one of the international guest artistes who was invited to perform at the awards show on that day. Knowing that the two artistes were performing, I also prepared songs to sing with them separately through mind-singing earlier in advance (Rain for Taenggu, See You Again for Wiz Khalifa).

On that day, hours before the show, Taenggu posted a series of depressing, gloomy videos on her Snapchat. In most of the videos, she repeatedly used the same thunderstorm filter with hovering dark clouds and raining sounds.

At the time when I saw these videos, I was at work in the office. I knew something wasn’t right. I knew she must be feeling upset or depressed over something. But I didn’t know the reason why and what happened to her. I thought it was because she felt lonely since she was alone overseas without the other SNSD members. Later that afternoon, I managed to complete my work early and decided to go home earlier so that I could focus my attention on her and keep her company when she wasn’t feeling good. Later that night, I watched the awards show live online. Everything looked pretty fine to me. Taenggu’s performance of Rain was amazing with really stunning looking stage. And Wiz Khalifa’s performances that came on right after hers looked great too.

After the show ended, it was revealed with a leaked rehearsal footage that Taeyeon was actually supposed to collaborate with Wiz Khalifa for the performance of See You Again but due to unclear reasons, the collaboration was cancelled at the last minute. It caused a lot of reactions and speculations among KPOP fans who were disappointed that the collaboration didn’t happen. The situation got worse when Wiz Khalifa and DJ Bonics took to Twitter, blaming Taenggu for backing out of the performance. Later on, Taenggu also wrote a message on Instastory to defend herself, recounting her side of the story. It clearly wasn’t her own decision to not perform with Wiz Khalifa. There were obviously some misunderstandings and miscommunication going on between them. It sparked off several discussions and confusions among fans. I myself was confused about the whole situation too.

It still remains a mystery today why the collaboration was cancelled and whose decision it was to cancel it (most likely the organiser or Taenggu’s label, SM Entertainment). But one thing for sure, I finally understood why she was so depressed in her Snapchat videos before the show. I knew she was trying to convey her mood to me and other fans. She must have gone through a difficult and unpleasant time during the rehearsals. Exactly what went on behind the scenes I couldn’t point out for sure but I knew she must have been stuck in a difficult position where she really wanted to make this collaboration happen but couldn’t because she wasn’t the one calling the shots. And she even had to face this conflict with Wiz Khalifa’s team because of it. No matter who was in the right or wrong in this issue, I would always choose to stand by Taenggu’s side for I know she’s always a good girl at heart.

Although it was already a thing in the past now, I wanted to do this drawing for her to tell her that I would be there for her not just during good times but bad times too. I wanted to be a shield to keep her from any negativity from the outside world. And in the future, if she experiences any bad days, I want her to know that I will be by her side too. Like the thunderstorm filter on her Snapchat, I will protect her from getting drenched by the rain and attacked by lightnings and thunders. That was how this monthsary drawing with thunderstorm theme came about. ❤