Eileen Torres – OHSU StudentSpeakhttps://blogs.ohsu.edu/studentspeak
Who better than the students to describe what being a student at OHSU is all about?Tue, 27 Feb 2018 17:40:57 +0000en-UShourly1138385471Up a Wall Without a Paddle… Or Something Like Thathttps://blogs.ohsu.edu/studentspeak/2015/05/07/up-a-wall-without-a-paddle-or-something-like-that-2/
https://blogs.ohsu.edu/studentspeak/2015/05/07/up-a-wall-without-a-paddle-or-something-like-that-2/#commentsThu, 07 May 2015 17:22:37 +0000http://www.ohsu.edu/blogs/studentspeak/?p=7511Continued]]>

I’m not crazy, but people have given me looks that suggest otherwise. These situations usually occur after I’ve mentioned I’m a graduate student. The probability of receiving the “look” increases when I say I’m in the Behavioral Neuroscience program, and it increases further when I explain that it will take 5-7 years to graduate. When I explain a post-doctoral fellowship is routine, the look is a near certainty.

“Well, you’ll be able to help diagnose my migraines then” was one well-intentioned response.

Cue head banging against the wall.

Sometimes though, I think they might be on to something. Or prolonged periods spent in a dark room talking to rodents is doing funny things to me. Because why else am I still excited to be on this career path? It’s not the promise of riches, I can tell you that much. Mention the current funding situation in a room filled with graduate students, and you’ll wonder how a collective sigh could contain so much angst.

During my last break, I completed a 10 mile long obstacle course (Note: This has been another occasion for which my sanity has been questioned.) One of the hardest obstacles for me during the course was a curved wall participants run up. Think Ninja Warrior if you’re familiar with it. The first time I tried running up it, I wasn’t even close. It eventually took me 4 tries, 1 pep talk from a kind stranger, and 2 fellow participants pulling me up to get me on the top of that thing, after which I enjoyed a brief moment of pride. Then, I realized I needed to get down quickly because heights aren’t my thing.

Thus, I present to you my metaphor for this post: Graduate school is a 10 mile obstacle course.

I don’t think it takes much imagination to get my point. Both endeavors are long and some of it can be absolutely miserable or even kind of embarrassing (like realizing the experiment I had worked on for weeks resulted in inconclusive data or sliding down a rocky hill on my bottom), but I decided to do both for a reason. Obstacles are expected. For me the challenge today was learning I was not awarded a fellowship I had applied for. It would have been incredible to know someone other than my mentor thinks the idea is worth investing in, and I felt pretty dejected. Rejection just never feels good (I also don’t think it helped that the topic of class that afternoon was clinical depression).

Applications, and consequently rejection, is part of a career in academics though, since unlike careers that begin with a job application and hopefully lead you to start working, we’re always applying for fellowships and grants to keep funding our research. It’s not as fun as learning how to program a high-tech treat dispenser (known formally as an operant chamber) for experiments, but it is a large part of the grad school process.

So I didn’t surmount the wall today. At least not yet. Time to shake it off, take a deep breath, and try again.

Running up a wall: what I did over spring break and what grad school often feels like.

It’s kind of weird for me to say that because it still feels new to me. I’ve been in the Behavioral Neuroscience Graduate Program at OHSU for just little over a month, and there are so many things I want to share: moving to a new city, my first rotation, being back in class after a two year hiatus… I’ll spare you from most of it for now.

I imagine my first month in Portland has been similar to the initial response a mouse experiences in the open field arena. You know, novel environment, isolation from cage mates, and all that. There’s a fear of danger but a desire to explore the unknown. I’ve already learned a lot from my initial exposure to grad school though. For example, homesickness can hit you hard no matter how short the time away. Cry, call home, do what you need to, but remember to appreciate that you have a home worth missing. Or on a more practical note, with the recent power outage on campus, I’ve learned class material—like what to do in the case of missing data—can quickly become relevant during your rotation. (I mourn your loss, missing circadian activity data.) And of course there’s the scientific research, the reason I’m here.

When offered an opportunity to write for StudentSpeak about my graduate experience, my interest was immediately piqued. I like writing; I even minored in English as an undergrad. Plus, it seemed like a great way to record this crazy new adventure I’ve begun. Truthfully though, I hesitated because I knew I was in for a tough journey—one that I am sure will be filled with difficulties and failures I won’t want to share. See, grad school has this reputation of being an unrelenting bully. Five, six, seven years of stress, self-doubt, failed experiments, etc. It’s easy for me to be nervous. But like mentors and friends have done for me, I want others considering a graduate education and those pursuing a career in science to know it’s not a crazy idea. It’s difficult for sure, but doable. Right now I have this opportunity to learn exactly what I want and discover new ideas. It’s a sweet deal.

Maybe I’m too excited to care about the challenges ahead. I do know I’m ready for this.