Jessica Walsh

Did you see Timothy today?Yes.

What did y’all do together?I was working at GoStudios in Chelsea. Our studio was doing a creative session for Adobe for their new Creative Cloud branding. The photo shoot involved locking ourselves in a photo studio for 24 hours straight to “play” and see what we could make. I wasn’t allowed to leave the studio space, so Tim came to visit me.

Did anything interesting happen?At one point in the afternoon I decided to use paint to cover our arms and legs, which we photographed as source material to create typography. The moment I finished painting myself blue, the elevator doors opened and Tim entered the studio space. I was pretty embarrassed! However, after four years of friendship, he already knows that I can be pretty strange.

Did you learn anything new about Timothy?Tim brought BJ, a 16-year old kid he mentors through Big Brother Big Sisters. I found it very sweet that he is a part of BJ’s life. I know Tim has amazing mentors who have been an important part of his personal and professional development. It’s great he is in a place where he can do the same for others.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?Usually I am an over planner when it comes to photo shoots like these. But reflecting on past work, often the best results came when I wasn’t trying so hard. They came out of periods of spontaneity, play, boredom, or even mistakes. So today was about just getting off the computer and just making shit. There was definitely a fear of failure, but we produced some unexpected and interesting things.

This makes me realize that I too often rely on working with a plan. I operate off of to-do lists. I can’t even remember a meeting or dinner date if it is not in my iCal. These apps have become a second brain and they’re starting to run (and arguably ruin) my life.

Even romance has become overly planned these days. Almost every single friend of mine has used online dating to find their partners, including myself. These websites collect your data, analyze it, assign you numbers through arguably arbitrary algorithms, and give you an ordered list of likely lovers. They tell you percentage wise how much of a match they are, even how likely the person is to respond back. We no longer search for romantic partners, we shop for them. Just like when looking online for a new pair of shoes, one can sort men by highest rated, size, popularity, even by color. While I admit it’s all very practical, I have to wonder if it’s caused me to miss out on spontaneous interactions or chance encounters. I don’t even think to look around for guys in the real world anymore!

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?As I’ve been thinking about risks today, I keep coming back to something Jocelyn said in therapy. She thinks that in a way this project is cowardly. She asked why don’t just take the risk and just try to actually date, like the rest of the world. I think she senses there is interest on both ends, and she’s trying to push us together.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?Risk failure in my life more often.

Additional comments?The photo shoot is over, and I haven’t slept in 40 hours. I might crash from exhaustion soon…

Timothy Goodman

Did you see Jessica today?Yes.

What did y’all do together?Jessie was doing a 24-hour event/installation for Adobe at GoStudios on 39th Street. I stopped by the space around 6:30 PM to say hello and hang out for a little bit. I brought my buddy, BJ, who is a young man that I’ve been mentoring for the last four and a half years through Big Brothers Big Sisters. I thought he would like to see the fun Jessie and her studio can have with creativity.

Did anything interesting happen?We hung out, ate and watched Jessie and her studio mates cover themselves in body paint. After an hour, BJ and I left to go see a movie.

Did you learn anything new about Jessica?I was thinking about our therapy session yesterday, and how badly Jessie wants to be in love. I don’t understand what she’s worried about. She’s a great catch: talented, smart, honest, attractive, humble and successful. Last year I created a project where I attempted to draw a unique valentine for every single one of my Twitter followers on Valentine’s Day. It’s funny to think about the card I made for her.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?I like to flirt, and it really hit me tonight that my flirting can’t be used as a tool for anything more right now. Not exactly groundbreaking, but it’s been a while since I had to filter myself. This is probably a good thing because I don’t want to be the old guy in the club one day thinking that my flirting is cute, when in fact, it’s just creepy.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?I feel good. It was nice to see her today. I don’t know why I thought of this, but I noticed that we’re both punctual people. As much as I don’t love all her overzealous planning, I do appreciate that aspect. I feel like 90% of the girls I date are constantly late.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?Nope, I think I was perfect today.

Additional comments?BJ is 17 now, and I like to bring him around my work life sometimes, so he understands all the opportunities that are possible. As a teenager I was in constant search for an identity, always looking to fill the shoes of my missing father. I soon found an array of mentors in my life that I copied character traits from. They couldn’t teach me how to shave, as a father might have, but they gave me the tools to gain confidence in my life. And it’s no surprise that my relationship issues come from the same place, but perhaps a level of sincerity and a search will help that, too.