The Etrian Odyssey series are rather unique games. Players create their own characters from blank slates and these figures receive no development. They are what you make of them. Yes, they have no stories, but those with enough imagination can piece together their own adventures and connections based on their experiences. The following is an example of one such tale, as I go about playing Atlus’ Etrian Odyssey IV: Legends of the Titan.

An Etrian Odyssey IV Story

The five founding members of Normandy sat around the bar at the Dancing Peacock, hounded by requests from other adventures. Their intent had been simply to deliver the Culantro acquired on their way back from defeating some Bloodbears and the Beserker King, but you know how it goes for heroes. Once people know they’ve done something amazing, they have to hear every detail. The group’s Nightseeker, Kasumi, had attempted to Shadow Cloak herself and slip away and the Runemaster Liara was minutes away from Ice Lancing the lot, but the group’s leader, Jane the Dancer, had issued an official order of “Lighten up” and now Normandy was paying the price.

“How many were there?”

“Did you lose any fingers? How about toes?”

“Will you sign my shield?”

“Could ya pop by ta endorse da shop?”

Even Jane’s patience wore thin, and she could tell her team’s Sniper and Medic, Garrus and Kaiden, were ready to chime in with their own idiotic questions.

“Okay, let’s make this simple. I’ll tell you how we decimated the Beserker King if the rest of you agree to buy my team a round of drinks, listen quietly and then let us go about our business once story-time’s over.” The people acquiesced and Jane turned in her seat so she was facing the patrons of the bar.

“The Normandy had just boarded the Defiant for the whole “kill the monster” mission the count had ordered. We were all fresh, ready to go and knew we were ready to defeat these heathens after hunting about 10 Bloodbears on our last outing.”

A faceless NPC raised her hand in the back. “Excuse me?” Jane raised her eyebrow.

“I said no interruptions.”

“Er, yes, but there are continuity errors. Wouldn’t Alliance have been a more appropriate Guild name so your skyship could have been the Normandy? Because right now, you’re mixing fandoms.”

This issue had been pointed out numerous times already, especially after Normandy recently recruited a female Landsknecht named Lightning. Jane looked to Garrus. “Deal with him.” As Garrus advanced on the now fleeing figure, she addressed the rest of the crowd. “Anyone else want to point out the obvious? No? Awesome.”

“We had been roaming around the Lush Woodlands for about a day and a half. Thanks to our earlier Bloodbear extermination efforts, we were untroubled by the mysterious beasts we call F.O.E.s. No, we were fortunately only troubled by some frogs, chameleons and baboons. We took our time heading down to the Beserker King’s on the third level. You can’t rush into this kind of event. Besides, the forest seemed oddly quiet, ominous even. As though it was even aware of what we had done and what we had yet to do.”

“Besides, any mercenary knows that a silent forest is a deadly one. Once we reached our destination, we knew why we hadn’t seen any remaining Bloodbears. They had rallied around their king in his den. There before us stood the Beserker King, flanked by a rare Bloodbear and it’s more common sister.”

“Now, only an idiot would charge the Beserker King without taking care of the Bloodbears first. We went after the golden, rare Bloodbear first. They’re more deadly, after all, and it took us about four rounds instead of the standard two to fell it, with it dealing massive damage to our crew and exhausting us in the process. Still, we pressed onward. We only intended to fell the second Bloodbear then, and to return and regroup after. But that wasn’t going to happen. The Beserker King had seen us decimate his remaining forces and now he was out for blood. Our blood.”

“It was a terrible battle that lasted two hours. We’d managed to reduce the Beserker King’s strength by half, but he had done plenty of damage to us. Kaidan was dying. I was stunned with fear. Garrus ran out of arrows. Kasumi was frantically tossing sand in the Beserker King’s eyes to distract it. That’s when it happened.” Jane pauses for dramatic effect, taking a sip of her grog.

The bar’s population started mumbling. Only Wynne was brave enough to speak up. “Wha happened?”

“Liara sneezed and, when she did, she somehow managed to cast Glacier Rune. She one-shotted the Beserker King, we got the tablet from the altar he seemed to be guarding, the Lush Woodlands were freed from the big, bad bear monsters and now we can all explore the Scarlet Pillars.”

The crowd seemed satisfied and in awe of the group, and started to disperse, ready to spread the tale of the legendary guild.

“That… isn’t how it happened, Jane.” Kaidan said.

“Yeah, you forgot the part where I suddenly bound the Beserker King’s head, arms and legs with a single arrow.” Garrus snarked.

“I figured it was more exciting then going on about how it took us another three hours to defeat that thing and how we ran out of both Medica and Amrita potions in the process. I always wanted to be a legend, and if you’re going to be spectacular, you sometimes have to fudge the facts.”

“Well, I liked it.” Liara said smugly, enjoying the adoring glances being tossed her way.

“Of course you would. So what’s next Jane?” Kasumi asked, having slipped away and delivered the Culantro while everyone was distracted.

Jane finished her drink and rose. “I’d say it’s time we explored the Miasma Forest and figure out how to get the Defiant flying higher. Come on team, move out!”