‘True Blood:’ Here a vamp, there a vamp…

Now, THAT’S the way to do a vampire show. “Plaisir d’Amour” was kinda scary and also darkly funny in spots. If every episode were like that, I would have no reservations about this show. One caveat: Good lord, it was gross. Longshadow’s death — followed by poor, pathetic Ginger tidying up hunks of vampire goo — might be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen on television that didn’t involve Eric Cartman and his frenemies on “South Park.” It made me long for the clean stakings of “Buffy,” though, on the plus side, this did give us one of my favorite pieces of dialogue lately, courtesy of Pam: “There’s vampire in your cleavage.”

Naturally, Longshadow’s slaying will have consequences, starting with that tense tete-a-tete in Eric’s office. (Which gave me another favorite bit of dialogue: “Humans. Honestly, Bill, I don’t know what you see in them.” Given the fact that Gabby Girl had one imprisoned in Jason’s basement at that very moment, Eric does have a point.) I’m really looking forward to next week’s tribunal — the quick shots we got in the previews looked really good, and the presence of Zeljko Ivanek, one of my favorite character actors, as the vamp in charge bodes very well indeed.

Bill’s sort-of apology for bringing all of this nastiness to Sookie’s doorstep (not to mention her kitchen floor and, most recently, her ceiling fan) was quite a moment. And he’s right — none of this stuff would be in her life if Bill weren’t. Eventually, she’s going to have to decide whether she wants that particular package deal. The dead-cat capper to an evening that also included being drenched in vampire guts would be the deal-breaker for me and my undead boyfriend, I think, assuming that I decided to stick around after the dead-grandma-on-the-floor bit.

Even Tara wasn’t quite as aggravating, maybe because she seemed to be owning up to being so aggravating. Her relationship with Sam, though, could be the template for the oddest sexual harassment seminar ever. I’m not sure which is the worse idea — sleeping with your boss, or taking money from said boss for an $800 exorcism, no matter how much you might need one. (And shouldn’t she be the teensiest bit suspicious that he bought into the exorcism thing without batting an eye?)

Getting back to the basement, who else was pulling for Eddie to spring up and sink his fangs into Jason’s throat when he finally agreed to help shift him into a more comfortable position? Surely Jason deserves to be turned into vampire feed, though the girlfriend who just happens to carry chainmail in her “big bag of crazy,” is an even better candidate. (“Psychopath” doesn’t even begin to cover it.) The fact that Jason did, eventually, bring some True Blood to Eddie doesn’t exactly redeem him for keeping him chained up and bleeding him.

That final moment — Sookie waking up to find, to her surprise, Sam curled up naked at her feet — was quite excellent. He clearly has long wanted to share his secret with Sookie, but, given all the shocks she’s endured lately, couldn’t he have found a more straightforward way to let her know? And will THIS drive her to maybe dust off the old resume and find someplace else to work?