Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

Can you love someone who is not your soulmate?

I married a kind, down-to-earth and good provider 2 years ago. On our honeymoon, the most memorial act of love was he simply could not kill a spider that sent all the women in the tour bus in blood-cuddling shrieks. He had to walk almost half a mile from the barren parking lot to place the spider among the shrubs. Even though it was not a romance most women dreamt of, his selfless act and kindness touched me deeply.
However being a pragmatic and practical man, he is about the most boring I've ever met. Whenever we went on a holiday, we ended up fighting and staying in the hotel room. He had no interest to see the sights, explore, shop or do anything. Even our conversation dried up. In short, we bore each other. Besides eating and an occasional movie, we don't have any interest that crossed path. I am into making friends and 98% of the friends we have now are mine. And this is his country. I planned 100% of our social life so we won't be bored. It's difficult since I have not been in this country that long. Still planning and trying but I am getting fed-up.
Before marriage, I used to hang out with my gay friends (no fear of me being a slut), and we would live the high life. We always dressed up, ate at nice places, went on holidays and shopped together. We never, ever ran out of conversation. We shared hopes, dreams and even fears. No topic is taboo. Yeah they're my girlfriends.
I don't expect my hubby to be like them but I thought the love and intimacy should trump all that. I always thought the man I marry would be my soul-mate. Could it be I don't know how to have fun with straight men?
Seriously this is for the guys, when your partner is bored with you, so is sex. Tragic!

Soulmate always sounded so good and perfect. It seems to have a meaning for us all, but if you think about it, wouldn't we be bored with ourself?

Maybe we can define it a little better and I'd like some help here. What we really want in a relationship is to have a future together that we both want. We need to learn to live our own lives, but we need to align our goals and desires together.

When we seem to want different things, then it becomes a struggle. The relationship moves into survival mode instead of &quot;living&quot;.

Thanks Brian 1000
Yes, I want to see a future. I want to be the old couple holding hands and still look longingly into each other's eyes. I met my friend's dad recently and the way he described his wife, completely overtaken by Alzheimer, you'd have thought he was talking about Marilyn Monroe. The terms of endearment still linger in my mind today. What is this magic that could sustain till this day?

I believe variety is the spice of life and we need several people around us and with us to be complete. It's obviously not safe sexually to screw around, but in terms of emotional and intellectual stimulation, yes, we need multiple people. I don't believe in the concept of ONE person being enough to satisfy all our needs.

I hang with my dad for golf and stock tips, my next-door-neighbor for beers and football, my mom for philosophical discussions, and my friends for other fun topics to talk about and things to do. Hopefully, there'll be a lady-friend in there in the near future, but I'm really just looking to relax and have a few laughs at the moment...

Hey Koolman, outside the home, I have a full life. If I indulge in all the activities and socials I like, I'd be living a separate life from him.
I am passionate whereas he is passive. How do we meet in the middle?

I will keep this short & sweet. I have a problem with reaching an orgasm. I can not cum sexually. I have a very active sex life, but I never release. It's very frustrating! I just don't know how to fix this issue. I'm beginning to not even want to have sex. I want it, but I know that I won't cum. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Please forgive me.....but i am now overly curious about many things and have gotten much braver about asking ..........Having no sex for over 10 years.....I did come to discover toys. Sadly, i am left to wear them out all by myself. Truthfully that is what i thought they were for.....us poor souls with noone to love and share that with.As I chat and hear from more people.....I am coming to...

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