I’m surprised to hear that you communists overseas are using your own individual sharpeners in classrooms. It’s a very Ayn-Randian position to take. “I’ve got my pencil sharpener, fuck you if you can’t afford a pencil sharpener! Sharpen your pencil with your bootstrap!”

3 Responses to “Communist Pencil-Sharpening”

In my own case pencil sharpening evokes the Boys Own excitement of space flight as my early 1970s vintage electric desk pencil sharpener (it came with the job) was inherited from NASA’s Langley Research Centre just across the road.

At my primary school y’had to queue up to use the pencil sharpener attached to Miss Simpson’s desk an’ y’could only wind the handle 10 times cos’ if y’did anymore the pencil sharpener monitor would tell on you an’ y’d be in trouble an’ Miss Simpson would put a special mark int’ bad column an’ if y’got three bad marks y’d have a star taken off the star chart and y’had to go t’see Headmaster an’ he’d slap y’leg an’ Gary said it wont fair cos’ he could only count up t’seven on account of him only havin’ seven fingers cos’ he cem from Low Laithe an’ everybody knows folk from Low Laithe only ‘ave seven fingers that’s why his Uncle Wilf bought ‘im a propeller pencil but Miss Simpson confiscated it cos’ she said Gary shouldn’t ‘av it until everyone had a propeller pencil cos’ she wor a communist.