Regional Director Melissa Hemphill

Chaos before Creation

I learned of this concept during the opening lessons of the Eating Psychology Coach Certification Training. As someone who was partially exposed to this fresh approach to nourishment and nutrition, one week of this training has already expanded my perspective on so many different levels. The idea of “chaos before creation,” however, touched my soul.

I have used the word “chaos” repeatedly to describe my life in the past few months. Between the still-unbelievable loss of my little brother, the miscarriage, having to find a new place to live, my husband’s absence for his intensely challenging training, a full-time Air Force job, and regular family activities, “chaos” occasionally felt like an understatement.

Many days, the heavy uncertainty associated with chaos felt suffocating. I felt powerless to make life hurt less for myself and for the people around me. These feelings catalyzed the search to regain control elsewhere. For me, “elsewhere” most often means my diet and relationship with food. I bought a notebook to keep a strict food journal and caught a fleeting glimpse of the big picture of this thought cycle. I wasn’t doing this food journal from a place of love and playfulness; I was doing it from a need to control a life that felt uncontrollable. This act of anti-nourishment can only lead to more hurt in the long run. I put away the food journal and cried. The feelings of uncertainty and powerlessness endured.

“Chaos before creation” is a basic, cosmic law. In the beginning, uncertainty was the void before creation; it was the chaotic singularity that gave birth to the universe. Uncertainty allows for the magic of life to happen. By embracing uncertainty, we let go of control. To embrace uncertainty, we relax into the present moment—the unknown. To embrace uncertainty, we trust and have faith that God continues to create.

Fear and control manifest in the body via the physiologic stress response (fight, flight, or freeze). By shifting into the physiologic relaxation response (rest and digest), not only do we achieve optimal metabolism, but we also attain the state where healing of the heart and soul can begin.

I’m still trying to digest and assimilate this concept. It flies in the face of my life’s experience but, at the same time, it’s strangely intuitive. Associating “chaos” with a beautiful quality of life to honor instead of a state of fear and powerlessness has already been incredibly liberating. Are there places in your life where you seek to control for fear of the uncertain? Is this concept as insightful for you as it is for me?