This is getting a little gay guys. Straight line jerk in the Turretius Extremist thread.

Logged

"I love you, you love me. Barney raped me by the sea." --Synonym"Why do I feel like I'm being fooled by you both? I can't find the penis. I need to find the penis." --Augustus"Nobody can read baby." --Pimp Willy"Get your goddamn Battle Arena Toshinden shit out of my Tekken." --Souther"That's when I decided to give up on my dream to become an X-Man and begin pursuing girls." --tortugagrande, champion of all our hearts.

"I love you, you love me. Barney raped me by the sea." --Synonym"Why do I feel like I'm being fooled by you both? I can't find the penis. I need to find the penis." --Augustus"Nobody can read baby." --Pimp Willy"Get your goddamn Battle Arena Toshinden shit out of my Tekken." --Souther"That's when I decided to give up on my dream to become an X-Man and begin pursuing girls." --tortugagrande, champion of all our hearts.

Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

Synonym sneaks behind the town storeroom and into the back courtyard full of several piles of stacked crates. "This is the location. The pipeline runs right underneath here." He laid down his Gold Knife and retrieved two canisters of highly-reactive liquid from his pack. He set them on the ground gently. "Wires." DrWilgy had followed close behind him and handed him a tightly-coiled reel of bare wire. Synonym carefully terminated the wiring between the canisters. "Timer." DrWilgy handed Synonym a small electronic timer. He made the last connection and pressed the button marked with a skull. The bomb has been planted.

DrWilgy began to sweat. He muttered, "I dunno...this is too easy..."

Elsewhere, a frustrated Augustus picked up Cobalt's dropped AWP. He couldn't believe how his teammate had just let himself get killed. "What a useless piece of poop." Augustus would never be victim to such shenanigans. He was the best, afterall. He will singlehandedly win this game and eliminate the entire Terrorist threat if he had to. All he had to do was---- Augustus lost his train of thought as he was suddenly swept off his feet and landed face first onto the floor. He felt a tugging at his pants. He spun around yelling, "What the F!" and saw ✰Alpha✰ hovering over him! ✰Alpha✰ quickly pulled off Augustus's pants, sniffed them, and ran off behind a wall.

Further elsewhere, BeigeSand was able to snatch up a fresh AK-47. Feeling like a badass he walked around out in the open, and was easily spotted by the bloodthirsty Missing Person who was camping in an alleyway. Missing Person lunged at BeigeSand with his Gold Knife, only for it to be deflected off of BeigeSand's Kevlar armor. Missing Person realized the futility of his efforts before running away, embarrassed.

Further further elsewhere, the shifty Blindknagg had decided it was time to pick off the weak, and danced around a lagging Hecatom who clearly was playing from some 3rd world country's server off a pirated DSL connection.

A young girl's scream was heard throughout the town. No, it did not come from Hecatom, it was distinctly a young girl. It would seem that the town was not abandoned afterall. "HELP MEEEEEE!!!"

Eagle-eye: You are a trained scout. You can target players in Stealth.

THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED AT THE CRATES! The bomb will detonate in 3 phases!

Phase 4 has begun! A girl is in distress! As a main action, you may submit "Investigate Girl" to locate the child. Whichever team sends the stronger squad will successfully investigate the child and receive a bonus. Please submit your actions by 9 PM EST tomorrow!

✰Alpha✰: - Heavy Gear: 4 def, loses a permanent -1 def every 2 phases when worn by the same person - Dual Barettas, 1 atk each, can target two different players or the same player for double damage - Camo-Pants: 1 def; if you have Camo-Gear and Face-Paint, gain Perma-Stealth (you are always considered in Stealth)

XthAtGAm3RGuYX: - Tactical Shield: 4 def, only 1 def if attacked by more than one player - Tec-9: +2 atk, can target players in stealth but only for 1 atk

Sig: - Conforming Gear: 1 def, gains a permanent +1 def every 3 phases when worn by the same person

Pimp Willy: - Heavy Gear: 4 def, loses a permanent -1 def every 2 phases when worn by the same person- Crowd Buster: +1 def, +4 def if attacked by more than one player or defending a target attacked by more than one player

DrWilgy: - Bomb Gear+: 1 def; or 3 def if you are planting or defusing the bomb; when planting/defusing the bomb, you count as two players

Blindknagg: - Crowd Buster: +1 def, +4 def if attacked by more than one player or defending a target attacked by more than one player - Tactical Shield: 4 def, only 1 def if attacked by more than one player - Gut Knife: 1 atk, 1 def

Counter-Terrorists:Citrus

BeigeSand: - Kevlar: 2 def - AK-47: 3 atk

Augustus: - Camo-Gear: 0 def, grants the main action “Stealth” When you use Stealth, you cannot be normally targeted during the next phase. - Bomb Gear: 1 def; or 3 def if you are planting or defusing the bomb - AWP: 3 atk, can target Players in Stealth

Armor: - Flak jacket: 1 def, immune to C4 - Combat helmet: 1 def - Kevlar: 2 def - Tactical Shield: 4 def, only 1 def if attacked by more than one player - ThorShield: 1 def, immune to Zeus x27 - Camo-Gear: 0 def, grants the main action “Stealth” When you use Stealth, you cannot be normally targeted during the next phase. - Camo-Pants: 1 def; if you have Camo-Gear and Face-Paint, gain Perma-Stealth (you are always considered in Stealth) - Bomb Gear: 1 def; or 3 def if you are planting or defusing the bomb - Spiked Gear: 1 def; if you attack with a knife or machete, gain 1 atk - Conforming Gear: 1 def, gains a permanent +1 def every 3 phases when worn by the same person - Heavy Gear: 4 def, loses a permanent -1 def every 2 phases when worn by the same person - Crowd Buster: +1 def, +4 def if attacked by more than one player or defending a target attacked by more than one player

Misc: - Thermal Vision Goggles: can target players in Stealth - C4: Single use. As a main action, you may “Plant C4” at a bomb site. The specific bomb site is not revealed. If a bomb is attempted to be planted or defused at that site, the players attempting to plant or defuse suffer 3 damage. - Flashbang: Single use. As a secondary action, you may use the Flashbang on a target player. If that player attacks that phase, their target is randomized. - Rescue kit: Special, secret, single use. - Face Paint: Special, use with camo-gear and camo-pants. - Signal Jammer: Single use, as a secondary action you may disable all sponsor actions for 24 hours. - Laser sight: When using a gun, gain +1 atk - Whetstone: When using a knife, gain +1 atk

✰Alpha✰ steps up to Pimp Willy saying, "I think you know what I need. Only you can give it to me." Pimp Willy says, "You don't even have to ask." ✰Alpha✰ replied, "I would think so too, but fucking Jason says I have to."

Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

✰Alpha✰ wanted to rack up his kills. He followed Blindknagg, telling him, "You take the point." Blindknagg led him back to the Counter-Terrorist outpost and there found Citrus running back and forth between two walls.

Blindknagg said, "He must be testing a macro or something," before stabbing him with a Gut Knife. As Citrus's blood spilled out of his abdomen, he fell to his knees. There he knelt for a second before ✰Alpha✰ shot him in the back of the head with a baretta.

✰Alpha✰ wasn't satisfied there. He needed another target. Scanning the battleground, he spotted Augustus who was climbing into a wooden barrel in an attempt to hide. Augustus climbed into the barrel and ducked his head below the rim. It was a bit dark in there, but the slits between the wood planks gave way to some sunlight. He strained his eyes a bit to see between the slits to get a view of what was going on outside. Soon, however, the slits became large holes, as the barrel was pumped full of bullets and Augustus's blood came rushing out of the barrel holes.

Synonym spoke into his Comm-Link, "The bomb's been planted. We just need to wait; let's go check out where those screams are coming from. Missing Person, Pimp Willy, you two, with me."

Missing Person responded with, "10-4." He came out of the alleyway he was hiding in, a bit disappointed that his knife had yet to pierce flesh despite his efforts. As he came out into the open, BeigeSand was waiting for him. All Missing Person could do was yell out a quick, "Oh shit!" before being sprayed by BeigeSand's AK-47!

Synonym and Pimp Willy arrived at the house where the girl's cries were coming from. "HELP MEEEEEE," the voice continued. As they approached the door, he noticed blood trails leading up to it, as if several bodies had been dragged into the building. Opening the door slowly, they came upon a horrific scene. The bodies of the dead Counter-Terrorists had been piled up in one corner of the room, while standing in the middle was a little girl drenched in blood. She did not appear to be harmed, however, and the blood apparently was not hers. Again the screams could be heard, "HELP MEEEEEE!!!!" But they did not come from the girl; she had remained silent, with a sinister look in her eye. In the corner opposite the pile of dead bodies, was Hecatom, screaming at the top of his lungs, "HEEEELLLLLP!" The girl then stepped towards him, grabbed his throat to silence him, and then ripped his neck open with her bare hands.

She stood over the body and spit at it. She turned to the Terrorists and gave them a look of acknowledgement as if to say, "Truce." Pimp Willy zipped up his pants before the girl found her way out the back window before disappearing into the streets.

As BeigeSand regrouped at the CT outpost, the seismo scanner began to beep furiously. A small earthquake was about to hit. Normally it wouldn't be an issue, but with the dilapidated state of the town, the structures would probably not hold up...

Citrus was killed by Blindknagg's Gut Knife and ?Alpha?'s Dual Barettas! He was:

Quote

Recruiter: As a main action, you may “Hire.” You receive a 1 atk/1 def NPC that you may direct under your control. They cannot Scavenge. Only you may trade with the NPCs. There is no limit on how many NPCs you have under your control at one time. If you die, the NPCs will drop their items and leave the game.

Augustus was killed by ✰Alpha✰'s Dual Barettas! He was:

Quote

SWAT: You are skilled at bomb defusal. You count as 2 players when defusing a bomb; if defusing alone, you count as 3.

Missing Person was killed by BeigeSand's AK-47! He was:

Quote

Messiah: As a main action, you may submit the action “Transfer From ___ to ___” filling in the blanks with any dead or alive Terrorist or dead Counter-Terrorist. The player abilities will be transferred from the first player to the second. Team abilities may not be transferred. You may target yourself. When using the Transfer ability, you may target players in Stealth.

The Terrorists have successfully investigated the girl and will now receive a bonus!

THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED AT THE CRATES! The bomb will detonate in 2 phases!

Phase 5 has begun! A mini-earthquake is causing the buildings to crumble! Every player will take 1 damage at the end of the phase! Please submit your actions by 9 PM EST tomorrow!

✰Alpha✰: - Heavy Gear: 4 def, loses a permanent -1 def every 2 phases when worn by the same person - Dual Barettas, 1 atk each, can target two different players or the same player for double damage - Camo-Pants: 1 def; if you have Camo-Gear and Face-Paint, gain Perma-Stealth (you are always considered in Stealth)

XthAtGAm3RGuYX: - Tactical Shield: 4 def, only 1 def if attacked by more than one player - Tec-9: +2 atk, can target players in stealth but only for 1 atk

Sig: - Conforming Gear: 1 def, gains a permanent +1 def every 3 phases when worn by the same person

Pimp Willy: - Heavy Gear: 4 def, loses a permanent -1 def every 2 phases when worn by the same person- Crowd Buster: +1 def, +4 def if attacked by more than one player or defending a target attacked by more than one player

DrWilgy: - Bomb Gear+: 1 def; or 3 def if you are planting or defusing the bomb; when planting/defusing the bomb, you count as two players

Blindknagg: - Crowd Buster: +1 def, +4 def if attacked by more than one player or defending a target attacked by more than one player - Tactical Shield: 4 def, only 1 def if attacked by more than one player - Gut Knife: 1 atk, 1 def

Armor: - Flak jacket: 1 def, immune to C4 - Flak jacket: 1 def, immune to C4 - Combat helmet: 1 def - Kevlar: 2 def - Tactical Shield: 4 def, only 1 def if attacked by more than one player - ThorShield: 1 def, immune to Zeus x27 - Camo-Gear: 0 def, grants the main action “Stealth” When you use Stealth, you cannot be normally targeted during the next phase. - Camo-Gear: 0 def, grants the main action “Stealth” When you use Stealth, you cannot be normally targeted during the next phase. - Camo-Pants: 1 def; if you have Camo-Gear and Face-Paint, gain Perma-Stealth (you are always considered in Stealth) - Bomb Gear: 1 def; or 3 def if you are planting or defusing the bomb - Bomb Gear: 1 def; or 3 def if you are planting or defusing the bomb - Spiked Gear: 1 def; if you attack with a knife or machete, gain 1 atk - Conforming Gear: 1 def, gains a permanent +1 def every 3 phases when worn by the same person - Heavy Gear: 4 def, loses a permanent -1 def every 2 phases when worn by the same person - Crowd Buster: +1 def, +4 def if attacked by more than one player or defending a target attacked by more than one player

Misc: - Thermal Vision Goggles: can target players in Stealth - C4: Single use. As a main action, you may “Plant C4” at a bomb site. The specific bomb site is not revealed. If a bomb is attempted to be planted or defused at that site, the players attempting to plant or defuse suffer 3 damage. - Flashbang: Single use. As a secondary action, you may use the Flashbang on a target player. If that player attacks that phase, their target is randomized. - Rescue kit: Special, secret, single use. - Face Paint: Special, use with camo-gear and camo-pants. - Signal Jammer: Single use, as a secondary action you may disable all sponsor actions for 24 hours. - Laser sight: When using a gun, gain +1 atk - Whetstone: When using a knife, gain +1 atk

Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.