Hot and Cold

The plastic cover Nadia had snapped onto the mattress earlier crinkled as she sat down. Lazily, she stretched out on her bed and picked up the remote. Click. Car racing, sit com, cable cooking show. Informercial, infomercial, informercial. Golf. Infomercial. Nice little exercise machine though. It was a shame she was so in shape.

She watched as a young woman with outdated spangly earrings tried to sell her a white blouse she called “simply marvelous.” Give me a break, Nadia thought. Who says marvelous anymore? Turning off the TV, she picked up the phone, a big heavy relic she kept around because she loved the weight of the receiver in her hand.

“Hello.” She had to hand it to him. Not everyone could get it on the first ring every time.

“Hello, Isaac.” She let her voice sit for a moment, knowing he would recognize it.

“Geez, Nadia, it’s freezing over here… what the hell did you do?”

She smiled. “Oh, just a little something. Don’t you worry about that… I have more important things I’d like to talk about.”

“No,” he said. “You listen to me! I want the heat back on soon or I’ll –”

“What’s that, honey?” she said, raising her voice .”I’ll have to turn down the furnace so I can hear you.” She dropped the phone onto the handset.

Three seconds later, the phone started to ring. Nadia looked back at it. Sighing, she pointed at the phone with her finger. Closing her eyes, she imagined the explosion. When she opened them again, the phone burst into flames. With the level-headed stare she gave it, the fire went right out, leaving the phone completely unscathed.

There, she thought to herself. He won’t be calling again. Human males are such pests.