Valentine’s Day heart to heart

February 11, 2013

Valentine's Day may trigger images of hearts and flowers for many, but for hosts of others, such days of love are really days of loneliness. You know better than Hallmark how you're feeling and what would make you feel better. Hearts and flowers are nice, but nothing from the outside will help if you're not feeling OK on the inside. So here's a Valentine to you - a list of steps that can help you through times when everyone seems to be feeling good but you, as shared from the Mercy Medical Center, Baltimore, Md.

1) List your assets. Try looking at yourself from someone else's viewpoint. What does your partner, mate or best friend think of you? Use someone whom you trust and respect!

2) Shape yourself in your own ideal image. Your goal is not to become that image, but to move closer to it. If you want to be confident, expect yourself to be confident. Hold your head higher and stand up straighter. Keep reminding yourself of how much more confident you are becoming. Soon you may actually begin to feel more confident.

3) Develop a sense of accomplishment. List several things you can do well -and then do them! Add some new things to your list each week. Give yourself credit for anything listed that you were able to accomplish!

4) Do the most with what you got. Treat yourself to something special. Get involved in an exercise program, workouts at the gym, plan to take the trip or shopping/hunting you always wanted to do. Look to please yourself and be your best - not to please others.

5) Learn to feel pride. Identify one thing you did, felt, or thought in the past month that made you feel proud of yourself. Allow yourself the experience of feeling "special"!

6) Become more interesting by being more interested. Join a book club, discussion group, or social or political group/organization. You will not only meet new people, but you will feel more alive.

Please remember that feeling better does not come easily - but with concentration, hard work and a lot of effort, the payoff is worth it and you deserve it.

- Presented as a community service by the Rev. Warren Watts, Tri-County Pastoral Counseling Service, Martinsburg.