Wednesday, May 30, 2012

ONE DIRECTION: DUMPED AND (NOT) DATINGIsn't ONE DIRECTION supposed to be the hottest new teen sensation? Aren't young girls around the world following them, and frothing at the mouth?

Maybe it's all one big British illusion, because at least two of the guys in the group don't seem to be having luck with the ladies.

HARRY STYLES says he wishes a girl would come up and ask him out. He tells "Tiger Beat", "I think if you like someone, then you like that person...you shouldn't play games. You should ask them out.

"Walk up to me and just make conversation. I like someone who's easy to talk to!"

Also, ZAYN MALIK..."The One Who Looks Like JOE JONAS"...has been dumped by TEXT MESSAGE. He says, "I've been text dumped before! I was dating her for a couple of months."

Bet she regrets that NOW.

SWEET SWEET LOVE?DRAKE and RIHANNA might be getting all up in each other's fun stuff. Saturday night, the two were spotted together at Miami's LIV nightclub.

Then yesterday, she re-Tweeted the following lyric from Drake's song "Headlines"..."Started not to give a f**k and stopped fearing the consequence." Should we infer anything from that? Who knows. No official word yet from Drake or Rihanna.

WHAT GUYS WORRY ABOUTA survey of British guys by Foster's beer found that one in four men think they worry about things more than women do.

One in five guys worry about their looks...18% worry about their taste in clothing...and about the same number worry about making small talk with women.

And of course, a real man takes his worries and bottles them up: 72% of guys don't talk to ANYONE ELSE about what worries them. And 20% think that asking for advice makes them less of a man.

Of the guys who DO ask for advice, 43% say they'd ask a friend instead of their wife or girlfriend. But 10% say their friends can't give them practical advice.

10% of men say they'd never ask their girlfriend for advice, no matter how important it was, and 36% would wait six months before asking.

MAKING WOMEN HOTGood news, Casanova. Your magic hands really DO have a way of making the ladies hot. Not hot meaning aroused...hot meaning LITERALLY hot.

A new study out of the University of St. Andrews in Scotland found that when a man touches a woman, her skin temperature goes up as much as two degrees Fahrenheit. The main areas that get hotter are her face and chest.

Our faces tend to heat up when we're stressed, scared, or angry. And the researchers believe that women's skin gets hotter when men touch them because it causes a little bit of emotional stress.

They didn't test whether a woman touching a man made his skin temperature go up.

TAKE AN ADVENTUREAccording to a new survey, the average person feels MOST ADVENTUROUS at age 29. The only problem is, most people can't actually AFFORD to go on an adventure then. Because adventures ain't cheap.

So even though people want to go on adventures when they're 29, the age when most people actually DO go on one is...41.

More than half say money is the reason for the delay. Being too tied down to work was the second-most common excuse...family commitments came in third.

The most popular adventure is going on a safari. Rock climbing is second...and learning a new skill like ballroom dancing is third.

MRS. DOUBTFIRE RETURNSAgainst all odds, 19 years after the movie came out, "Mrs. Doubtfire" is back in the news.

In Hill City, South Dakota, the police are searching for a man who dresses up just like ROBIN WILLIAMS in "Mrs. Doubtfire"...then PICKPOCKETS people.

The cops believe they know who has been dressing up as Mrs. Doubtfire, although no arrests have been made yet.

They're developing a show called "60-Minute Superstar", which is described as a, quote, "fast-paced music competition series that plucks unsuspecting singers out of their everyday lives to give them a shot at stardom."

If that doesn't sound exciting enough, the wannabe singers won't even have to audition. Instead, they'll be "secretly nominated" by friends, family and co-workers...and the producers will select "diamonds in the rough" to mold into a STAR.

These "stars" will perform at the end of each episode...and at the end of the season, they'll compete for a single grand prize. There's no word on what that is yet.

Our BLOODLUST to find superstar singers CANNOT BE SATED!!!

We have televised singing competitions with open calls...there are shows that scour social networking sites to discover hidden talent...

The CW is developing a show where "mentors" will travel to small towns and unearth singers who are too lazy to get off their asses and audition for one of the other singing competition shows...

And now, we have a show where you could potentially "secretly nominate" someone you heard singing "Rolling in the Deep" in the car next to you while you're stopped at a red light!

EASY LADIESWe've got the results from a study that covers pretty familiar material...men want one-night stands with wilder girls, but want to settle down with women who have more substance. Meh. We've heard all that before.

BUT...researchers at the University of Texas used the answers to identify the main signs that make a man THINK a woman is EASY. Now THAT'S interesting.

Here are five of the signs men look for...sometimes subconsciously...when they're trying to find a woman to get-it-on with that night:

Acting and dressing goofy or childish.

Looking SLEEPY.

Looking extra DRUNK.

Licking your lips a lot, or doing a lot of lip biting.

Touching your own breasts.

JUNK IT UPNo matter how divided this world might be, there's one thing that's constant across all people, all countries, and all cultures. When the sun goes down, we ALL want to stuff our faces with JUNK FOOD.

There's an app called Eatery where people record their meals, and rate how healthy they are. And after analyzing about 500,000 meals across 50 countries, they found that EVERYONE is more likely to eat junk food after dark.

In fact, for every hour you're awake, your chance of eating something healthy goes down 1.7%. And that's true in the U.S., in Germany, in Ecuador, in Australia, in Indonesia, and everywhere else.

The people at Eatery don't really have a theory on why it happens. It could be that our willpower fades throughout the day, or that dinners are usually less healthy and include dessert.

Here's an interactive map of Eatery's data...you can see who's eating junk food around the world at different times of day.

COULD YOU PASS A 1920's LOVE TEST?"Smithsonian Magazine" dug up a 1924 issue of a magazine called "Science and Invention", and found a four-item LOVE TEST. It was supposed to scientifically predict whether a marriage would succeed or fail.

Could YOU pass? Here are the four parts of the test...

#1.) Are you deeply physically attracted? The author says that physical attraction is THE most important element for a marriage. So he'd test whether a couple got shortness of breath or a fast heartbeat when they looked at each other.

#2.) How sympathetic are you? In this test, each person would watch the other one go through something mildly traumatic, like giving blood. And they'd be tested on whether they had strong physical reactions to seeing the other person in pain.

#3.) Can you deal with each other's body odor? This is great...the author says he believes more marriages are destroyed by BAD BODY ODOR than any other reason.

In this test, each person was put in a tight, enclosed capsule, and a hose would pump the scent from the other person's capsule RIGHT into their noses. If they could handle that, they were a good couple.

#4.) Do you balance each other out in stressful situations? For this test, the author would surprise the couple by firing a gun into the air. He wanted to make sure one person had a more nervous reaction than the other, to show balance.

And that's it. If you have a deep physical attraction, you feel each other's pain, you don't mind each other's smell, and you do a good job balancing each other out under stress, you've passed a 1920s marriage test.

MORAL OBJECTIONS: LEAST AND GREATESTGallup just published its annual poll to figure out America's moral compass. And it's always fascinating.

Birth control has been a VERY hot issue in 2012. At least for politicians trying to get attention...because according to this survey, REAL people DON'T CARE.

89% of people surveyed said using birth control is morally acceptable...that's the highest score of anything on the list. Only 8% said it was morally wrong. That's a difference of 81%.

The other controversial things we're most okay with are divorce, with 67% saying it's acceptable...gambling, at 64%...wearing fur, at 60%...stem cell research, at 58%...and the death penalty, also at 58%.

On the other end, we have the biggest problem with ADULTERY. Only a very European 7% of people say it's morally acceptable to cheat on your husband or wife...89% say it's wrong. That 82% difference is the biggest split on the list.

The other things we're least okay with are HUMAN CLONING, with only 10% saying it's morally acceptable...polygamy, at 11%...and suicide, at 14%.

Now...as for the issues that got the CLOSEST voting. Just like last year, doctor-assisted suicide is the thing that Americans are most divided on. 45% say it's morally acceptable, 48% say it's not. That 3% split is the closest on the list.

NICOLE KIDMAN PEES ON ZAC EFRONAn upcoming movie called "The Paperboy" features a scene in which NICOLE KIDMAN urinates on ZAC EFRON'S chest. But unfortunately, it's not some kind of kinky MILF sex scene. She does it because Zac's character gets stung by a jellyfish.

In the movie, Matthew McConaughey plays a reporter investigating the wrongful conviction of an inmate played by John Cusack. Zac plays McConaughey's brother, and Kidman is a trailer trash chick who wants to marry Cusack.

It just premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, and some of the critics really TRASHED it.

BOY BANDS!There's a new list of The Top 40 Boy Band Members from the '90s, Ranked By Current Hotness online. And that's hot as in "attractive," not hot as in "still having a career." Of course.

It was put together by some random dude at Buzzfeed.com. Here's the Top 10:

1.) Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block

2.) Justin Timberlake from 'N Sync

3.) Dan Miller from O-Town (he's a Twinsburg native, if you didn't know)

4.) Christian Burns from BBMak

5.) Jeff Timmons from 98 Degrees (...of course, a MASSILLON native)

6.) Nick Lachey from 98 Degrees

7.) Erik-Michael Estrada from O-Town

8.) Howie Dorough from Backstreet Boys

9.) Stephen McNally from BBMak

10.) Evan Farmer from 2Gether

You can find the whole list at Buzzfeed.com. Notice: Taylor, Zac and ISAAC HANSON were all listed back-to-back...in that order...as #16, #17 and #18.

AMERICAN IDOL IS IRRELEVANTWell I mean, seriously, when is the last time someone from the show made a legit name for themselves? Adam Lambert? And he didn't even win and that was 3 seasons ago. Regardless...

Around 21.5 million people watched PHILLIP PHILLIPS win "American Idol" on Wednesday night. That's up from Tuesday's final performance show, which only had 14.9 million viewers.

But it was "Idol's" least-watched finale of all time...and it wasn't close.

Last year, 29.3 million people tuned in to see SCOTTY MCCREERY beat LAUREN ALAINA, while 20.6 million watched the final performance show. (That's 8 million more for the finale, and 6 million more for the performance show.)

The second least-watched finale was the FIRST season, when 23 million people witnessed the simultaneous birth of KELLY CLARKSON'S career...and the death of JUSTIN GUARINI'S.

It'll be interesting to see if this inspires Fox to make MAJOR changes next season. One Fox suit has already said that "Idol" is due for a "creative reinvigoration." But in the past, most of the changes have been minor tweaks.

And if you don't count the judge changes, there really haven't been ANY significant changes in 11 seasons.

11 is a long time. I say its time to hang it all up!

RANDOM THINGS#1.) WHY PEOPLE SEXT. Men and women have different motivations for sexting nude photos. Women send naked pictures because it's a big turn-on to feel DESIRED...men send naked pictures because they like showing off.

Ladies...I'm all about it, sext on!

#2.) WHICH DRIVERS ARE THE MOST POLITE? A new survey found that, basically, people who drive luxury cars are ruder than people who don't.

Ford, VW, Honda, Fiat, and Nissan drivers ranked most polite...Porsche, Land Rover, Mercedes, Lexus, and Jaguar drivers ranked the rudest. There were two exceptions. Audi drivers were polite, Mazda drivers were rude.

DO IT OUTSIDEHas SEX IN PUBLIC become our number one fantasy? Or have we all realized that threesomes and role playing are just too tough to pull off?

According to a new survey, 76% of women and 70% of men say they really want to have sex in public, or they want to CONTINUE having sex in public. That's more than three-quarters of women, and more than two-thirds of men.

Men and women were less excited about making a sex tape...especially women. Only 40% of men said they'd film themselves getting-it-on...and women were even less into it, at 22%.

The survey also found that only 11% of women say they like the missionary position the most, versus 32% of men.

One related note...a separate survey found that women over 30 are more likely to have sex on the first date than women in their 20s. 34% of women over 30 say they'd have relations on a first date versus just 12% of women in their 20s.

FACEBOOK ADDICTION GONE TOO FARWhen women get married today, they can't WAIT to announce it on Facebook. Literally. They cannot even wait until the hors d'oeuvres have run out.

According to a new survey by David's Bridal, HALF of women said they updated their Facebook relationship status to "married" BETWEEN the wedding ceremony and the reception.

In other words, while you're hoarding drinks at the open bar before the big lines start, she's in the back updating Facebook.

HATING ON 'THE VOICE'SIMON COWELL is apparently trying to initiate a beef with "The Voice", which has added an additional season to compete with "X Factor" this fall.

After a really bad audition in Austin, "X Factor's" L.A. REID reportedly told a contestant, quote, "If you decide to try out again, please do it on another show."

And Simon added, quote, "Yes, the good news is I hear 'The Voice' auditions are happening next week." For now, there's been no response from the people at "The Voice", but ADAM LEVINE recently Tweeted, "I love haters. I'm a hater lover."

Thursday, May 24, 2012

LEADING OFF AGAIN TODAY WITH KATY PERRYKATY PERRY addresses her failed marriage to RUSSELL BRAND in her new movie "Katy Perry: Part of Me". But she does so tastefully. At least that's what she told ELLEN DEGENERES yesterday.

She said, "I thought it was important to show everything in between. I think sometimes people think that we're perfect, and we know we're not perfect, at all.

"I think it's important to start breaking down the idea that to achieve your dreams, you always have to be perfect or flawless or live in some kind of fantasy world. So that's why I decided to put everything into the film. In the most tasteful way."

BRITNEY'S 'X-FACTOR' DEMANDSThe not-always-reliable British tabloids claim BRITNEY SPEARS is demanding a boatload of diet coke and Doritos in her "X Factor" rider.

Here's a rundown of what she wants:

12 Snickers bars...six cases of Diet Coke containing 24 cans, which must be replenished every week...10 bags of Doritos for her and her team a day...12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room...

And 10 pieces of chicken and four pints of potato salad every week. She also requested a "beauty team," which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist.

For the record, it is NOT fair to say: Britney is being paid $15 million a year, and she's making all these "diva demands."

Even if this report is true, there's no indication how different this is from a typical production. I'd assume that most shows provide these sorts of things for their stars. Plus, this isn't all JUST for Britney. It's for her and her team. Yeah.

YOU BETTER LISTEN TO YOUR MOMLadies, the results of this survey just prove what we all already knew, deep down: You will NEVER gain full independence from your mother.

In the survey, 75% of adult women admitted they STILL run all major life decisions by their mothers for approval.

85% say they go to their mother first when they feel sick.

And the average woman consults with her mom for advice at least twice a week.

The only time it seems the majority of women DON'T consult their mother is when it comes to GETTING-IT-ON...only 8% turn to their mother for sex advice.

TRAFFIC!You might think the drive at 5:15pm on Route 62 is a nightmare (and I might think that too), but really...traffic in Canton ain't so bad.

Anyway, a traffic research company called INRIX just released new data on commuting, traffic, and the amount of time we spend sitting in our cars. Here are seven of their big findings:

#1.) Nationwide, it takes people 6% longer to drive somewhere during peak traffic times than non-peak times.

#2.) Tuesdays have the busiest overall morning commute, with the peak at 8:00 A.M. Fridays have the busiest overall evening commute, with the peak at 5:30 P.M. In both cases, it takes people an average of 16% longer to get where they're going.

#3.) Overall, nationwide congestion peaks between 7:45 and 8:00 A.M., then peaks again between 5:30 and 5:45 P.M.

#4.) Monday mornings and evenings have the fastest overall commutes.

#5.) Lower gas prices actually might be screwing up your commute. Big cities where gas prices were around the national average...like Atlanta, Austin, and Miami...experienced the biggest traffic increases in 2011.

LYING TO GET A JOBBY JOBWhen you're putting your resume together, it's tempting to enhance things. Like if you spent a summer as a head lifeguard, you might want to say you coordinated tactical aquatic search-and-rescue missions.

In a new survey by the website FindLaw.com, 8% of Americans admit they LIED on their resume. That's about one in 12.

And a surprisingly high number of them were CAUGHT. 27% say they LOST THEIR JOB when someone figured out they had fake info on their resume.

3% say their lies were uncovered during the job application process, and they weren't offered the job.

6% say they were caught in the lie but DIDN'T lose their job.

I actually worked with someone once who lied about something on an application...when it was found out, he was fired after about 3 or 4 months on the job.

TATTOO REMOVALThe tattoo craze may have finally hit its peak. Because suddenly, a lot of people are realizing the tribal pattern tattooed on their neck might hurt their career as a claims adjuster.

In the past year, tattoo removal procedures in the U.S. are up a massive 32%.

A new survey asked 700 people who had tattoos removed last year WHY they did it...and yes, job reasons was the number one answer at 40%.

18% of people said they had their tattoo removed because it was their ex's name...16% removed it after a change in beliefs...and 11% said they were unhappy with their tattoo or didn't like it anymore.

AUTO-CORRECT HAS MADE YOU STUPID!!A British literacy group called Mencap gave people a five-question test, and found that most of us depend so much on autocorrect and spell-check...we can't spell some common words. See how you do:

#1.) Necessary: 65% of people got it wrong, by adding an extra 'c' or 'r' to the word.

#2.) Definitely: 33% spelled it wrong, by using an 'a' in the middle or adding an extra 'f’.

#3.) Separate: 33% had an 'e' in the middle or added a second 'p'.

#4.) It's or its: They didn't give a percentage, but most people didn't know which word completed this sentence: "I'm afraid BLANK going to be a long season." (The right answer is "it's".)

#5.) There, their, or they're: Only 21% of people knew which one completed this sentence: "BLANK are no excuses." (It should be "There".)

PEE IN THE POOL!!!!Memorial Day is coming up, which means people will be opening their pools for the summer. And if you know what's good for you, you'll STAY AWAY.

A survey by the Water Quality and Health Council found that one in five adults admit that they've PEED in the POOL.

The Council did a similar survey in 2009, and found almost the EXACT same results.

And if you're lucky enough to be swimming next to one of the 80% of people who AREN'T relieving themselves, you're probably STILL in their dirty water.

That's because 40% of people admit that they NEVER shower before getting in the pool. Another 28% say they SOMETIMES skip the shower.

"She’s been a hard drinker since her teens and her friends and family are desperately urging her to get into rehab."

Rihanna called in "sick" to her "Saturday Night Live" dress rehearsal on May 5th...then landed in the hospital a few days later with "exhaustion and dehydration". She even Tweeted a picture of her IV drip.

This past weekend, Rihanna's over-partying caused her to miss a flight out of London. But she used the extra day in the U.K. to show up onstage during a KANYE WEST / JAY-Z gig.

THIS MAKES ME LAUGH, CAUSE THIS IS SO MEBreakfast may be the most important meal of the day, but lunch is the most boring.

A survey by Whole Foods found that one in three people eat the same thing for lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY. And half of THOSE people have eaten the same thing for at least SIX years.

Cheese sandwiches are the most popular thing to eat on a daily basis (could you BE anymore boring?!), followed by ham sandwiches. And various types of chicken or chicken-salad sandwiches were also popular.

One in three people say they're sick of what they have for lunch, but 40% say they keep eating the same thing because it's easy to make. (This is me too...hahahahah)

More than 5% of people blame their SPOUSE, since that's who makes their lunch for them. (I need a spouse, then I'll blame them)

FACEBOOK RELATIONSHIP DRAMAAs you know, a marriage isn't TRULY official anymore until both people change their Facebook relationship status to "married."

A 28-year-old woman in Hyderabad, India knew that. And last week, she decided to DIVORCE her 31-year-old husband, because he STILL hadn't switched his Facebook status after two months of marriage.

We're guessing there were probably more issues than that...but the Facebook thing was her last straw.

Her husband told the judge that he'd just FORGOTTEN to make the change. The judge told them to get counseling. (LOL)

AVOID THE FIGHTGuys...ever been in one of those arguments with your girlfriend where you want NOTHING MORE than to bail IMMEDIATELY, just to get away from the fight? Of course you have...sometimes we just don't wanna fight.

On Sunday morning, a 27-year-old guy from Phoenix, Arizona and his girlfriend were both passengers in a friend's 1995 Chevy pickup. And they were having a HUGE fight.

The guy decided he just couldn't take it anymore...so, to avoid the argument, he decided to open the door and JUMP OUT of the moving pickup.

There's no word how fast the truck was going when he bailed...but it DIDN'T go smoothly. The man suffered LIFE-THREATENING INJURIES, and he's currently in the hospital in critical condition.

The friend who was driving was sober at the time, and isn't facing any charges. There's no word on what the guy and his girlfriend were arguing about.

JUST BUY ONE!If you're a single guy without a girlfriend, but REALLY need a woman's help...this site could be your answer.

It's called GirlfriendHire.com. Women post ads about what girlfriend-like tasks they'll do for you...critique your clothing, send you flirtatious text messages, post on your wall to make another woman jealous, whatever.

Every task costs $5. And no, they're not allowed to do anything sexual.

The site's founder says that since he opened it last month, it's received 100,000 visitors and 300 orders so far.

WE'RE NOT THAT LAZY!Americans get a bad rap for being LAZY...especially when our efforts are compared to the surging Chinese economy. But check THIS out...

According to a new survey by the software company Kronos, 11% of Americans say they've called in sick to stay home and watch sports, or go to a game in person. Which seems like a lot.

But the number is FIVE TIMES higher in China, where 54% have done it. And while 7% of Americans have called in sick AFTER staying up late watching sports, 58% have done that in China.

India is in second place when it comes to blowing off work for sports, and Britain was third. The only country LESS likely than us to fake a sick day for sports was France, where almost NO ONE said they did it.

Americans are most likely to skip work for football. The British skip for soccer, India does it for cricket, and China does it for basketball. So either the Chinese love sports more than we do, or they don't lie on surveys as well.

Monday, May 21, 2012

GUN SHOTS? NOPE. THE BURGER DID IT!Last week, 50 CENT was hospitalized with a severe stomach problem...and he almost had to have surgery to relieve a blockage in his small intestine. Well, EMINEM found this amusing.

50 says, "I'm in a dead serious moment like, 'Damn, I don't believe this is happenin' right now.' And that's when Eminem called.

50 said: "He goes, 'Yo Fif, you were shot nine times! Man, if you die over a burger, this [crap] ain't gonna go right. People ain't gonna be feelin' this.'"

J.LO/IDOLThere are a lot of rumors out there...but over the weekend, JENNIFER LOPEZ Tweeted, "There is no truth to reports that say I am definitely leaving 'American Idol'. All I said was I haven't decided what I am doing next year.

"When I know for sure what I'm doing I will let [you] know!"

There you have it.

NO PRE-NUP? GO FOR THE POST-NUP!If you've been thinking, "You know, my marriage is going too smoothly, we really need to get a lawyer involved to mess things up"...here's a great opportunity.

According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, there's been a steady rise in the number of married couples getting POST-NUPTIAL AGREEMENTS.

And those are just what they sound like. Couples have a lawyer draw up a post-nup to resolve new issues that have come up since they got married.

Those issues can be financial...like one of the two people coming into a lot of money...or they can be legal arrangements over things like who does the dishes, or whose family you visit for Christmas.

And if you're actually in a place where your marriage needs legal intervention to compromise on doing the dishes...don't delete that divorce lawyer's number once the post-nup is done.

There aren't any official numbers on post-nups. Five years ago, a survey of AAML members found that about half had seen an increase, and some divorce lawyers today say they're doing post-nups for up to 10% of their clients.

LISTEN TO THIS APP:This app sounds pretty ambitious...and a great way to make people self-conscious. But if they can get it to work nationwide, it's going to be HUGE.

The app is called SceneTap. The company behind it installs cameras at bars, scans the people coming in, and uses facial recognition software and biometric rhythms to predict their age and gender.

That way, anyone who has the app can check out a bar before they leave the house, to make sure the crowd size, age range, and male-female ratio is where they want it to be. The app doesn't assess how GOOD LOOKING the crowd is.

Here's an example. On Friday night, a bar in San Francisco called Bar None first started using SceneTap. By 10:00 P.M., the app rated it "Lively"...it was a little less than half full, had a 50-50 male-female ratio, and an average age of 22.

Of course, some people are OUTRAGED about SceneTap. Even though it doesn't actually record anyone's face or take any personal information, they still think it's a major privacy violation.

Right now there are only cameras in a few bars in seven cities: Athens, Georgia...Austin, Texas...Bloomington, Indiana...Chicago...Gainesville, Florida...Madison, Wisconsin...and San Francisco.

The app is free for iPhone and Android phones. The company plans to keep on expanding to more bars and more cities.

STOLEN VANBefore we get into this, it's important to note that a Chevy van is about six-and-a-half feet tall. Picture one of those vans that kidnappers always drive in movies. Or, a "Chester The Molester", raper van....THAT'S the type of Chevrolet van I'm talking about here.

Last week, a 78-year-old woman in Dacula, Georgia, called the police to report that her late husband's 1973 Chevy van had been STOLEN from her front yard.

The woman told the cops that the van was inoperative...and she was positive the doors had been locked...yet it had just disappeared.

Later that day, she called the police back to tell them she'd FOUND the van. And I hope she was at least a LITTLE embarrassed over what happened.

It turns out the woman wasn't much for landscaping...and her tall grass and weeds had grown SO HIGH they'd COMPLETLEY covered up the van. The van that's about six-and-a-half feet tall.

She won't be charged with making a false report.

I really wish there was a picture...but there is not.

9 EASY WAYS TO SAVE SOME CASH1) Bottled water - Save $1,300 a year

If you buy a $1 bottle of water every day, that's $365 a year for one family
member. Even if you buy in bulk, you might be spending upwards of $100 annually
per person-and a bottle is only one quarter of what you should drink daily.

INSTEAD: Add a filter (about $30) to your tap and you can enjoy clean water
in your glass and your kitchen. For fresh water on the go, pick up a
self-filtering water bottle (for as little as $10).

2) Home phone line - Save $516 a year

It's time to ask the basic question: Do you really need your home phone?
I've never even had one, myself! Why
should you keep paying extra for a secondary line you rarely use?

Basic ingredients and pantry must-haves such as flour, pasta, eggs and milk
are generally the same no matter the producer, so why pay extra money for
brand-name versions?

INSTEAD: Substitute store brands and save as much as $4 on some items. If you
purchase six staples per month, you could save as much as $288 per year.

4) Cable TV - Save more than $1,000 a year

If you watch only a handful of the channels available to you, then you might
be able to do without cable-and the monthly bill, which can run more than $100
per month.

INSTEAD: If you have a Roku box ($60; roku.com), Wii or other compatible
gaming console, you can replace your cable service with online streaming.
Purchase a Hulu Plus account ($8 per month), which gives you access to current
popular shows and an archive of more than 33,000 episodes of your favorite
series, plus a library of movies. If you watch the movie channels more often,
consider a Netflix membership ($8 a month for online streaming only) or stream
movies from amazon.com or itunes.com for as little as 99 cents each.

I've been saying it and I'll keep saying...10 years, no one will have cable. I watch everything I want online.

5) Drinks at restaurants - Save at least $100 a year

If you've ever dined out and had a $7 glass of wine from what you know is a
$12 bottle in stores, then you're aware that alcohol at restaurants is massively
marked up-sometimes by as much as 200 percent.

INSTEAD: Enjoy a glass of wine and a small appetizer, such as homemade
spinach dip or cheese and crackers, before you head to the restaurant. Do this
one night a month and you'll save almost $100 a year (or $200 if you and your
hubby both have a glass).

6) Gym equipment - Save as much as $700 a year

It might seem prudent to avoid gym membership fees and work out at home. For
many people, however, expensive gym equipment becomes a place to pile
laundry.

INSTEAD: Go outdoors or join a low-cost gym (try churches and civic centers).
You also can find discounts of 50 percent or more on local boot camps and yoga
classes on group buying sites, like groupon.com.

7) Spa manicures and pedicures - Save more than $600 a
year

A combination mani/pedi costs an average of $55 at a salon. And even though
the massage chairs and cheap flip-flops are appealing, is it really worth the
frequent trips?

INSTEAD: Go to the salon quarterly and change your polish at home in between
appointments. You can buy your favorite colors for as little as $4 per bottle.
(Get our tips for the perfect DIY Mani/Pedi )

8) Oil changes - Save up to $132 a year

You save money in the long run by keeping your car running efficiently, but
don't overspend to do it. Oil changes cost $35 on average.

INSTEAD: Change the car's oil yourself at home (you can watch a how-to video
on ehow.com). Also, try switching to synthetic oil, which can last up to 10,000
miles and cost about half as much as regular oil per year. Your vehicle's manual
lists the suggested oil and time span between changes.

9) Dry cleaning - Save up to $3,100 a year

If you or your spouse work outside the home, you probably make frequent trips
to the cleaners. Those trips can wreak havoc on your budget, costing anywhere
from $3 to $15 for each item of clothing.

INSTEAD: Dryel, an at-home dry-cleaning kit that gives you the same fresh
results, costs about $10 and cleans approximately 24 items. Bonus: You save gas
by running one fewer errand.

Friday, May 18, 2012

X-FACTOR: IT'S ONJOHN LEGEND is on "Duets", ABC's new singing competition that premieres next week...and he isn't impressed with new "X Factor" judges BRITNEY SPEARS and DEMI LOVATO.

You're supposed to care what he thinks.

He tells E! News, "I don't have much to say. It's interesting when people, you know, are judging singing competitions when they aren't really singers."

It seems like that's a shot at Britney and Demi...especially since he was being asked about the NEW judges...but he later Tweeted, "I've never heard Demi's voice, by the way. Wasn't referring to her." He didn't mention Britney.

So apparently John isn't a fan of Britney's singing prowess. I suppose he COULD'VE been talking about SIMON COWELL and L.A. REID...but let's be honest, they're our only hope of hearing any actual criticism on "X Factor".

For what it's worth, two of the other singers on "Duets", KELLY CLARKSON and ROBIN THICKE, had positive things to say about "X Factor's" new judges.

82% OF WOMEN WANT THE TRUTH...82% ARE LYINGAccording to a survey by a British clothing website called Very.co.uk, women want to know the TRUTH when they're trying on clothes.

82% of women say that when they ask if something makes their butt look big, they want their significant other to be honest. And 70% think that their man actually WILL answer truthfully.

HA!!!

But most men KNOW BETTER (duh). 64% of guys admit that they've LIED to their wife when they were asked that question, and, "said the right thing."

68% of men say that they think telling the truth would make their wife upset...and 11% think telling her how she really looks would ruin an entire weekend.

Of course, women eventually find out how clothes really make them look, and the average woman has $160 worth of clothes in her closet that she's never worn.

SEX OUT...SLEEP INWould you rather have a mattress that's decent to sleep on but GREAT for sex...or a mattress that's bad for your sex life but amazing for sleep?

More and more Americans are saying...sleep over sex.

Can I be honest? I didn't know it mattered. Mine seems to do the job of either, quite well.

Memory foam mattresses keep getting more popular. And while they give you a great night's sleep, they're not so great for getting-it-on.

Ohhhh....never tried sex on one of those. Not sure how I'd like sleeping on it either. Supposedly they are amazing, but...

In the last eight years, they've gone from 14% of the market to almost 20%. Even though people know memory foam is great for sleep but not relations.

GAYDAR: LESBIANSTurns out GAYDAR isn't a myth. We really DO have the ability to pick out who's gay or straight when we see people. Even STRAIGHT people have it apparently.

A new study at the University of Washington had people of both genders and all sexual orientations look at photos of people's faces, and decide whether those people were gay or straight.

They recognized gay male faces 57% of the time. And they did even better at recognizing lesbian female faces...people in the study correctly identified 65% of lesbian faces.

Only the people's faces were visible...no other clues like hairstyle or clothing.

Joshua Tabek is a psychology grad student who led the study. He says we recognize people as gay or straight more often than we think, "It may be similar to how we don't have to think about whether someone is black or white."

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR PHONE?Ever seen an entire table of people at a restaurant where no one's talking and everyone's texting? It's ridiculous. And also REALLY common.

According to a new survey, 63% of people admit that when they're out to dinner with friends, they usually leave their phone out on the table...because, ya know, their POCKET is too inconvenient.

The survey also found 68% would answer their phone on a dinner date...even if the call wasn't THAT important.

16% of people walk around with their phone in their hand at all times.

PASS THE COFFEEAnd now, news you WANT to hear. Next time you're feeling guilty heading to Starbucks for the third time in a day, don't worry about it. In fact, go a fourth time. And a fifth and sixth too.

According to new research by the National Cancer Institute, drinking at least SIX CUPS of coffee a day isn't just "not bad" for you...it's GREAT for you.

Men who drink at least six cups of coffee a day had a 10% lower chance of dying during the course of the 14-year study. For women it was even better...they had a 15% lower chance of dying.

The researchers aren't exactly sure why coffee is saving lives, though. Drinking regular versus decaf didn't make a difference, so it's not that. And they haven't found any hidden antioxidants in coffee that make it good for you.

Their best theory is that there's something SOOTHING about coffee...either making it, drinking it, or the social aspects of drinking it with other people. That's good for your mental health, which is also good for your physical health.

GRILL 'EM UPMemorial Day is coming up, which is when most people break out their backyard grills for summer cookouts.

A survey by the Weber grill company found that 71% of Americans plan to cook out on Memorial Day. That's a lot, but it's only the THIRD-most-popular grilling holiday.

The Fourth of July is the most-popular, with 90% of people grilling. And 76% of people say they cook out to celebrate birthdays. Memorial Day finished ahead of Father's Day, with only 53% of people cooking out for dad.

71% of Americans own a grill, and three quarters of them cook out at least once a week. Hamburgers are the most-popular food to grill, followed by chicken and steak.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

AWKWARD: MAN'S DATING FRUSTRATIONSIf you've been out of the dating world for a while, know this: No one talks on the phone anymore. Entire relationships are formed, developed, nurtured, and sometimes ended through texting.

And crafting genius texts can be TOUGH...especially in the early part of the relationship, where one wrong word or unsexy emoticon can derail everything.

In a new survey by "TSB Magazine", single men said that not knowing what to say in texts is actually THE most frustrating aspect of dating right now. Here's the full list...

#1.) Not knowing what to say in texts.

#2.) Bad or boring conversation on dates.

#3.) Awkwardness trying to go for the first kiss.

#4.) Approaching women in the first place.

#5.) Having women see you as a friend, not a love interest.

#6.) Hitting it off with a woman but then finding out she's interested in someone else.

TOP BABY NAMESThe Social Security Administration released their annual list of the most-popular baby names, and for the first time since 1948, Michael is NOT in the top five. It finished number six and was bumped out by...Mason.

The popularity of Mason is probably thanks to Kourtney Kardashian, since that's what she named her baby boy. Here are the ten most popular names for BOYS.

#1.) Jacob. (This is the 13th straight year Jacob has been #1.)

#2.) Mason.

#3.) William.

#4.) Jayden.

#5.) Noah.

#6.) Michael.

#7.) Ethan.

#8.) Alexander.

#9.) Aiden.

#10.) Daniel.

The boys' names that saw the biggest jump in popularity were Brantley...which moved up 416 spots in the rankings...and Iker, Maximiliano, and Zaiden.

The biggest DROP in popularity among boys' names was for Brett, which fell 119 spots. Jamarion, Shaun, and Jaydon also plunged more than 100 spots.

Here are the ten most popular names for GIRLS...

#1.) Sophia. (Up from #2 last year.)

#2.) Isabella.

#3.) Emma.

#4.) Olivia.

#5.) Ava. (Which means the top five names for girls all end in 'a'.)

#6.) Emily.

#7.) Abigail.

#8.) Madison.

#9.) Mia.

#10.) Chloe.

The girls' names outside the top 10 that had the biggest increase in popularity were Briella, Angelique, Aria, and Mila. (I'm going to assume they were thinking of Mila Kunis. I am...most of the time.)

Brisa fell the most in the girls' rankings, followed by Dana, Desiree, and Denise.

JENNIFER LOPEZJENNIFER LOPEZ still hasn't decided if she wants to return for another season of "American Idol". On "Ellen" yesterday, she said, "I really do enjoy it...now this is my second year...I don't know if I can go for a third year.

"I miss doing other things. It really does lock you down, which was nice the first year with the babies being three, but now they're getting more mobile, they're about to go into school...so I just don't know."

Meanwhile, in another new interview, J-Lo's 25-year-old boyfriend CASPER SMART talked about his relationship with J-Lo for the first time.

He said, "It was really professional for a very long time before anything even happened. It kinda just spontaneously happened I guess. The chemistry was there. You can't fight it...we're just enjoying our lives right now."

UNCOMFORTABLEThere's a VERY tight battle between the top two things women REALLY don't want to talk about with you.

According to a new survey, women are SLIGHTLY more uncomfortable talking about SEX than talking about THEIR BOWELS. But it's close.

30% of women said sex is the most uncomfortable conversation topic, 29% said constipation and other things related to their extended time on the toilet.

When women DO talk about their bowels, they're more likely to talk to other women than men.

Only 7% of women who would talk to a man would tell anyone but their husband or boyfriend.

WINE TIME?I guess it's refreshing to know that whether you're on a first date, or eating dinner with your wife of 50 years, it takes the EXACT same thing to end the night with some sweet sexual relations. And that thing is...WINE.

According to a new survey, both men and women...whether they're single or in a relationship...said wine was the best tool to quickly get in the mood for sex. Here are a few other results from the survey...

50% of men and 43% of women have talked dirty over the phone.

Almost twice as many women say hearing "I love you" turns them on more than hearing "You're so hot."

38% of people in relationships say they fantasize about their significant other. Which is a lot. BUT...38% also fantasize about a celebrity, 19% fantasize about a coworker, and 8% fantasize about a friend's spouse.

Monday, May 14, 2012

THE AVENGERS: STILL SETTING RECORDS"The Avengers" continues to break records left and right. It just made another $103 MILLION at the box office over the weekend, making it the first movie EVER to make more than $100 million in its second weekend.

The previous record was held by "Avatar", which made $75.6 million in its second weekend in 2009.

"The Avengers" has made $373 million in North America alone since last weekend. But it opened internationally a week and a half before that, and has made an incredible $629 MILLION overseas.

That means when the final numbers are released later today, "The Avengers" should officially break the $1 BILLION mark...after just 19 days in theaters.

TWITTER GAUGEI guess this is the new way to gauge the status of a celebrity relationship: RUSSELL BRAND has unfollowed KATY PERRY on Twitter.

Katy unfollowed Russell soon after he filed for divorce in December. The divorce doesn't become official until July.

NEW CARS ARE MORE EXCITINGAccording to a new survey, buying a new car gives people more pleasure than a NEW RELATIONSHIP...or even having a new BABY.

I would like to point out that....I don't see why this is surprising or a bad thing?

Seriously. 92% of people surveyed said they get a lot of pleasure out of a new car...only 48% said they get a lot of pleasure from a new relationship (why are you IN that relationship then?), and 48% said they get a lot of pleasure from having a new baby (100% were men).

The main reason? Relationships and babies are incredible...but they also take work. A new car doesn't take any work...you just put in some gas and drive.

The survey also found that people say a new car gives them more pleasure than a new house, new technology, a major home improvement, or a new pet.

Again, it's probably because those things take more time and effort than a new car.

SHOCKING (NOT REALLY) STUDYA survey by a British car retailer called Carcraft found that women spend more time worrying about how they look, while men spend more time on their car's appearance.

55% of women say they don't clean their car each week, compared to 45% of men.

But 13% of men say they spend NO time on personal grooming, which is more than triple the number of women.

Women are three times more likely to spend an hour grooming. Most men spend less than 15 minutes.

FACEBOOK IS CHARGING!!!Maybe. And it would be optional.
See, on FB, you don't actually see all your friends' status updates. Some of them get shoved into the ticker in the upper-right corner. Which means if you have big news, there's a chance not everyone's going to see it.

So, apparently Facebook is testing a new system that would let you PAY to make sure your status update gets seen. For around $1 or $2, you could guarantee it would show up on all of your friends' timelines.

The website Tumblr...which is a blogging site where people have followers, like on Twitter...recently rolled out this same thing. For $1, you could make your posts highlighted for all your followers.

There's no word on when Facebook could make this a feature, or even if they'll decide to do it...but it could end up being another revenue source for them as they get ready to go public.

FACEBOOK OVER-SHAREIt's funny, I was JUST talking to a friend yesterday who doesn't do much with facebook, and she doesn't understand why some people post the things they do.
A survey by Intel found that nine out of 10 people think their friends overshare on Facebook, and it's the biggest pet peeve people have about the site.

One in four people post information about themselves every day, and HALF of us feel overwhelmed by all the information everyone else posts. Here are the three most common ways people overshare:

#1.) Constantly complaining about their lives: 59% of people say their friends do that.

#2.) Posting inappropriate or explicit photos: 55%.

#3.) Sharing information that should be kept private: 53%.

GOVERMENT ANNOUNCES A NEW STUDY TO STUDY A STUDY ON WHETHER IT PRODUCES TOO MANY STUDIES...LOL!
This is the kind of government insanity and wastefulness that makes you want to slam your head into a wall.

Back in 2010, the Pentagon felt it was overrun with studies. So to find out if they were running too many studies...yep, they commissioned a study on whether they were running too many studies.

It gets worse. Now it's two years later and the Government Accountability Office wanted to review that study on studies. But they felt it needed a deeper investigation.

So THEY ran a study on the study to see if we run too many studies. Which REALLY should've answered their question.

Their conclusion was that the Pentagon's study on studies was incomplete and poorly executed...it only reviewed nine studies, lost the findings on six of those, and didn't actually figure out the costs behind the studies.

The GAO didn't release how much money has been blown on studies or studies on studies...but, like everything with the government, you can assume it's nauseatingly high. Ladies and gentlemen, your tax dollars at work.

TOO MUCH 'AXE'? CAREFUL!Let's call this ANOTHER side effect of OVERDOSING on Axe Body Spray. Besides alerting the world that you're a d-bag...apparently, you also qualify as FLAMMABLE.

On Thursday afternoon, around 3:00 P.M., a student at Middletown High School in Middletown, Connecticut was in the gym locker room just DOUSING himself in Axe Body Spray. And he put on SO MUCH, it set off the FIRE ALARM.

When the fire department got there, they figured out what had happened. The fire marshal says, "It was some kid in the locker room using body spray and it created a cloud of mist right underneath the sensor.

"The mist could trip the fire alarm...it looks like he used an overabundance, and they said it was Axe Body Spray."

The alarm was ruled an accident, so the kid won't be facing charges or anything...he'll just be known forever as the guy who set off the fire alarm and made international news because he was ODing on Axe.

PARENTS OF EMO KIDS...BEWAREWe didn't think there were any REAL side effects to your kid becoming 'Emo,' other than wasting money at Hot Topic and writing lame poetry. But apparently, there's actually a MEDICAL risk.

It's because of the emo HAIRCUT. You know...long dark hair hanging down over half your face, covering one eye completely. You've probably noticed it on a few of the baristas at Starbucks. Or at the last Fall Out Boy show.

Well...an optometrist in Australia named Andrew Hogan says that haircut could actually cause kids to develop a LAZY EYE.

Hogan says the haircut forces one eye to do all the work, and the other eye to do nothing. So if a kid keeps that hairstyle for too long...especially when they're young...it can cause a lazy eye.

SEEMS LIKE A NO-BRAINER...Came across this list today, for you ladies...

8 TIMES HE WANTS YOU TO BRAG ABOUT HIM

His Package: Brag Away
As long as you're talking about how big it is, 73 percent of dudes are more
than okay with you sharing that info with your girls (and, really, the
world)

His Kissing Skills: Brag Away
A whopping 87 percent love when you tell you friends what a great kisser he
is. We're guessing a neck-nibbling report is also fair game.

Pet Names: No Way
You can call him Snickerdoodle all you want-just don't tell anyone.

Gifts: Brag Away
Eighty-six percent say if they buy you a present, feel free to tell your
friends about it. (The other 14 percent must give really lame gifts.)

Dirty Talk: No Way
He may be all 50 Shades of Grey in the sack, but he'd rather keep his public
persona a little less, uh, grey.

Orgasms: Brag Away
He gave you an orgasm. Go ahead and describe the whole thing... in detail.
Use hand gestures if you need to. We repeat: He gave you an orgasm.

Manscaping: No Way
The votes were pretty split on this one-but do everyone a favor and keep the
pubic hair off the table. Do your friends really want to hear about that over
brunch anyway?

Post-Sex Cuddling: No Way
Another close one, but a lot of guys say they don't want you telling anyone
he was the little spoon last night. We think they just have a problem with the
word "cuddling."

How Long He Lasted: Brag Away
Finishing too soon is his No. 1 sex fear, so clearly an Olympic-level-stamina
night is worth repeat mentions to anyone who will listen.

His Sweet Side: Brag Away
Nearly 85 percent have no problem with you sharing anything that polishes
their nice guy image (accept anything having to do with cuddling, it seems). So
if he brings you soup when you're sick, go on and tell your friends. And your
mom while you're at it.

Compliments He Gives: Brag Away
Even if he's telling you your hair smells like grass (is that good?), he
thinks he's being poetic. Which, according to 86 percent of guys, is worth
bragging about.

DATING TIPS FROM YOUR MOMNot mine, yours.

1. Be yourself. This is the most important piece of advice
when you are single and dating. If you can't be yourself, then who can you
be?

2. You can be anything you want to be ... unless, of course, you want
to be inauthentic. Inauthentic is the worst thing you can be when
you're single (or a human).

3. Make the best of it. A smelly or boring date is another
chance for you to get clear on what you don't want.

4. Never learn to clean a fish or you'll be doing it for the rest of
your life. Slow down your walk, because if he doesn't open the door for
you the first time, he probably never will.

5. Never go out in dirty underwear. Need I say more?

6. When you're in a relationship, keep your friends. You
don't want a man to become your whole world, just a nice, tasty piece of it.

7. Learn something new every day. Read an article about the
way men think. It will do you worlds of good.

8. Turn off the lights. Light a candle. Not only will you
save on your electricity bill, but the shadows will do you both wonders.

10. Follow your heart. If you trust your heart instead of
your brain you will be more emotionally available and vulnerable. This is a
great path to follow. The path of love is much more fun.

CELEBS WHO SUCK IN BED

Eminem: "He's not very well endowed," Kim Mathers once
said. "If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little
blue pill, because otherwise it does not work."

Maria Sharapova: Adam Levine denies it, but he once
reportedly said he was "disappointed" because he thought she would "be the loud
screaming type."

Paris Hilton: Nick Carter once called her "a drunken prude
who as far as I can see did not really like sex. She relied on drugs and drink
to give her confidence in the bedroom and was more often than not too wasted to
even perform. I lost count of the nights I had to pick her off the floor and
drag her to bed passed out."

Brody Jenner: Kristin Cavallari once called sex with him
"very ... vanilla."

Friday, May 11, 2012

ANOTHER PROMIf you're TAYLOR SWIFT, you wouldn't ever be worried about the fact that you didn't make it to your prom. Because she keeps getting invited to them!Taylor got invited to another high school prom...but this might be one she'll actually attend. A boy named Devon Whitney made a YouTube video asking Taylor to his senior prom in Aurora, Colorado.

Devon has an extremely rare disease called Oto-Palatal-Digital Syndrome, or OPD. He's had over two-dozen surgeries since he was born. The syndrome also makes Devon look a little different.

He told Denver's KUSA-TV, "People stare at me because of the way I look. They laugh at me and talk behind my back. And sometimes I can hear them. You want to say something, but you can't. And it hurts."

Devon says he's too shy to ask anyone in school to the prom...so he decided to shoot for the moon and see if Taylor would go.

His YouTube video has gotten thousands of views...and I'm guessing word has probably gotten back to Taylor by now.

Here's the KUSA news report about Devon. Take a look and I guarantee you'll be pulling for him. And here's Devon's YouTube video.

MORE MOM STUFFEarlier this week, a survey found that men spend at least 62% more on Mother's Day gifts than women. So you COULD argue that your son loves you more than your daughter. Well...another survey's not so sure.

In a survey by the website RetailMeNot, men were two-and-a-half times more likely to have FORGOTTEN to wish their moms a happy Mother's Day than women.

Overall, 14% of people say they've forgotten at some point. But the breakdown is 20% of men and only 8% of women.

The survey also found that 73% of mothers say they really do want a gift for Mother's Day...with gift cards as the top choice, and flowers as the number two choice.

Also, 38% most want a fancy dinner, 32% would like to go to brunch...and only 7% want breakfast in bed.

Fortunately, your mom is old enough NOT to be part of this survey. So you can assume that when she and your dad GET-IT-ON...she's not playing "Words With Friends" mid-coitus. But other moms are.

In a new survey of mothers ages 18 to 35, 12% admit they check their phones during sex. (how can sex be THAT boring for someone that they need to check their phone? I'm amazed)

21% use their phones in the bathroom.

81% are on Facebook...but 53% say Facebook is a waste of their time.

And 67% say at least half of the apps on their phone are for their kids.

WHERE DO YOU SLEEP?According to a new survey, 67% of Americans admit they fall asleep somewhere other than their bed at least once every few weeks. 10% say it happens daily. So where are we randomly passing out? Check it out...

12% have fallen asleep at work.

10% have fallen asleep at school or in class.

7% have fallen asleep at church.

5% have fallen asleep in a car . . . and 2% have fallen asleep WHILE DRIVING.

4% have fallen asleep ON THE TOILET.

3% have fallen asleep in meetings.

And 1% have fallen asleep either at a bar...a party...the doctor's office...STANDING UP...during a conversation...AT A CONCERT (Jason Mraz, I'm sure)...in a court room...in the bathtub or shower...or DURING SEX.

CONAN DOES LETTERMANCONAN O'BRIEN will be a guest on "The Late Show with David Letterman" next Thursday. It'll be his first time on the show in 13 YEARS.

Obviously, we can expect some jabs at JAY LENO...since both Conan and Letterman have lost gigs on "The Tonight Show" to Leno.

20 years ago, Leno was brought in to replace JOHNNY CARSON when Letterman was expected to get the job...and in 2010, NBC basically pushed Conan out after seven months when Jay decided he didn't want to retire.

Letterman openly sided with Conan when that madness was happening.

Letterman left NBC after he was screwed out of the "Tonight Show" job in 1992. Just as Conan did when he went to TBS after being ousted.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

OPRAH'S IN TROUBLE"BusinessWeek" magazine reports that OPRAH'S OWN network has already lost $330 MILLION...and won't be able to survive another year unless it makes a dramatic turnaround. The network launched just 16 months ago.

Oprah can't be happy. If she WANTED to blow hundreds of millions of dollars on a FAILURE she could've stayed in Chicago and bought the Cubs. .....ha!

BUT Oprah doesn't have much of her own money invested in the network, but obviously her BRAND will take a big hit if OWN goes belly-up.

B.o.B. DOES THE MOON...??Is this the beginning of THE GREAT HIP-HOP SPACE RACE?

B.O.B claims that HE will be the first rapper to perform...ON THE MOON.

In a new video, he says, "Before the end of this lifetime, I will perform on the moon. You heard it [here] first. I will perform on the moon.

"And when I'm on the moon, I'm going to take this footage, and I'm going to play it on a screen before the show starts."

B.o.B is 23 years old. So if he's serious...and let's pretend that he is...there's some time for him to find a way to make this happen.

Perhaps he can perform at the ribbon cutting ceremony for President Newt Gingrich's moon base?

LOVELY LADY LUMPSThere's a new book out called "Breasts: A Natural and Unnatural History". And even with THAT title, we know you're STILL not going to actually sit down and read it. So here are six interesting facts about breasts from the book. You're welcome.

#1.) Women's breasts are BIGGER THAN EVER.

#2.) The average-sized breast in the U.S. is at least a C-cup, although some studies have found it's more likely a D-cup.

#3.) The average U.S. breast weighs just over one pound...and can double during pregnancy.

#4.) The largest enhanced breast in the world is 21 POUNDS. It's a size 38-triple-K...and contains the equivalent of 2.6 gallons of liquid.

#5.) Before there were silicone breast implants in the mid-1900s, women tried making their breasts larger by surgically stuffing them with glass balls, ivory, wood chips, peanut oil, ox cartilage, and candle wax. That all sounds safe.

MAKE-UP SEX IS BADMake-up sex is a proud, long-standing tradition for couples all over the world. You get in a fight, argue a little bit, hopefully reach some kind of resolution, then have angry sex...and the world is good again.

But Dr. Seth Meyers is a clinical psychologist at "Psychology Today", and HE says make-up sex is actually a BAD THING. Because it's just like a crackhead smoking crack.

Meyers says make-up sex isn't the way a couple ACTUALLY shows each other intimacy or affection after getting in a fight. It's just a way of switching gears from negative feelings to the positive experience of sex.

So you're just trying to jump immediately from feeling really low to feeling really high...which is like a fiending crack addict smoking crack.

And if you weren't happy with how the fight turned out, once the make-up sex is over and you come back down, you'll feel even worse.

JUST EAT HER COOKING NEXT TIME...Last month, 69-year-old Yuri Ticuic from the Siberia region of Russia got into a fight with his wife over her LOUSY COOKING. He was so mad that her soup was always cold, that he stormed out of the house.

And then he got lost in a frozen Siberian forest. Where he wasn't found for THIRTY DAYS.

Yuri survived by scavenging for berries, EATING HAY, and DRINKING SNOW. I think this goes without saying...but at that point, he probably missed his wife's cold soup A LOT.

After a month, some farmers finally found him. He was too weak to walk and severely frostbitten. Doctors may end up having to amputate both of his legs.

HEY MOM: THE SON LOVES YOU MOREYou obviously love one of your kids more than the other. It's okay. You don't have to say which one. But we can tell you which one of THEM loves YOU more...at least if you believe money is love. Which we do.

According to separate surveys on Mother's Day spending in the U.S. and Canada, your son loves you more than your daughter.

In the U.S., the average man will spend $189.74 on Mother's Day. That's almost 62% more than the average woman, who will spend $117.42.

In Canada, the average man will spend $105.02 on Mother's Day. That's 69% more than the average woman, who will spend $61.99.

(If you want, we could just say AMERICA loves their moms more than the silly Canadians!)

According to one retail analyst, men usually spend more on gifts for big holidays than women. "Men tend to have their wallets out less often. But when they do, it's for big purchases. So there's a different expectation about what to spend."

ADDICTED TO...ALL THE THINGS YOU DO......on your FACEBOOK page!

Researchers at the University of Bergen in Norway have developed a way to tell whether you're becoming addicted to Facebook. Check it out...

Women, introverts, and people who are disorganized are more likely to develop a problem. The researchers also came up with six questions that will help determine whether you're addicted.

Using a scale of one to five, rate how closely each question relates to you. If you give yourself a four or a five on at least four of the questions, you might be an addict.

#1.) Do you spend a lot of time thinking about Facebook, or planning HOW you'll use it?

#2.) Do you feel an urge to use Facebook more and more?

#3.) Do you use Facebook to forget about personal problems?

#4.) Have you tried unsuccessfully to quit or cut down?

#5.) Do you become restless or troubled if you're prohibited from using Facebook?

The not-always-reliable British tabloids say she's in talks to pose nude for "Playboy". And the deal would be worth well over a million bucks.

A source says, "[This] appeals to Rihanna’s creative side. Her main concern is that she doesn’t alienate her army of young fans who could think this is a little too risqué."

Really? We're supposed to believe that Rihanna is suddenly worried about her young fans? This is a chick who would show up at the White House in a thong and a see-through tube top.)

I want to believe that Rihanna IS going to pose nude for "Playboy". But when the "anonymous source" says she's worried about being too risqué for the children, the needle on my B.S. METER crashes through the red.

Meanwhile...Britain's "Sun" tabloid says that Rihanna sent ADELE a cake shaped like a PAIR OF BOOBS for her birthday.

EVER WONDER WHY ITS CALLED 'WILD ONES'?FLO RIDA's next album is called "Wild Ones"...and it's dropping on July 3rd. He says, "With this album, there's gonna be a lot of Number Ones, so that's why I came up with the title 'Wild Ones'.

He adds, "I [was] inspired by just traveling around the world, and just coming up with some music that the world can enjoy...to take this from local to national to international."

TAYLOR HAS NO CONFIDENCETAYLOR SWIFT has sold over 20 million albums, which is enough for her to be confident about her abilities as an artist, right? Well, yes...and no.

"And I think that keeps you growing. And I think that keeps you motivated. I never want to get complacent and I never want to be 100 percent confident about any skill that I have. It's just not the way I think and not the way that you grow."

FEARSWe've heard of NOMOPHOBIA before...that's the feeling of anxiety you get when you're away from your cell phone. But we didn't realize it had reached THIS point.

According to a new study by a company called SecurEnvoy, losing your cell phone is now the most common fear IN THE WORLD. About 66% of people worldwide have some feeling of anxiousness when they're away from their phone.

That's up from 53% four years ago. They didn't say what the second-most common fear is...but whether it's spiders, heights, snakes, being buried alive, whatever, it's not as common as nomophobia.

Monday, May 7, 2012

RANDOM FACTSAccording to AshleyMadison.com...which is the world's biggest site for cheating on your spouse...men and women have very different triggers that make them likely to cheat.

They've found that women are most likely to cheat the more successful they are at work. Men are most likely to cheat once they have CHILDREN, because, sadly, that makes their marriage satisfaction drop.

In a new survey by Yahoo, 25% of women say they'd be happy to give up sex for a YEAR to keep their iPad. 13% of men would be willing to make the same deal. Also, 15% of both genders would rather have a tablet than a car. (what?)

MOOCHESA job placement company called the Adecco Group released a survey on recent college graduates, and found that more than half still depend on their parents to help pay living expenses...

32% rely on their parents to pay their cell phone bill.

21% have their parents pay for their food.

20% depend on their parents for Internet access.

And 20% are still on their parents' health insurance.

One in three also say their parents are involved in their job search, by providing business contacts, helping with their resume, or searching job postings.

CHEAPSKATESo you're cheap. It's okay. I've got a list today of the top 10 big cities for people who are CHEAP. It's based on everything from low cost of living to free entertainment options to libraries to Dollar General stores. Here ya go...

#1.) St. Louis, Missouri

#2.) El Paso, Texas

#3.) Springfield, Illinois

#4.) Kalamazoo, Michigan

#5.) Spokane, Washington

#6.) San Antonio, Texas

#7.) Eau Claire, Wisconsin

#8.) South Bend, Indiana

#9.) Jonesboro, Arkansas

#10.) Wichita, Kansas

NEW NO DOUBTNO DOUBT made a one-minute video to say their next album is coming out on September 25th. It's their first since "Rock Steady", which came out in 2001.

FASHION SENSE WITH KANYE WESTKANYE WEST thinks he's an influential figure in the world of fashion, and over the weekend, he went on Twitter to reveal his stance on important fashion issues...such as: Can you wear a hoodie over a button-up shirt?

Well, Kanye says DON'T DO IT. He hates that.

"Just driving through the city and I see a few [things] I hate: I hate button-up shirts with hoodies. I hate hoodies with sport coats. I hate sport coats with button-up shirts, jeans and dress shoes.

"I hate khaki trench coats with jeans and off-brand work out sneakers. I hate khaki cargo shorts. I hate big-a** striped scarves. I hate long-a** sideburns with the line up RnB beard...all this in 5 blocks. Detest. I'm on my snob."

"I just got caked in the face...and a cake made of ice cream is harder than regular cake. Hard cake in the face." (Harry)

"Liam has just said the word 'lingerie' for the first time...he said LINGER-EE." (Harry)

"Zayn just violated my flannel." (Harry)

"Zap I could get a New York hot dog right now. #Zap." (Louis)

"Little unknown fact: I'm 1/16 Belgian." (Louis)

"Not to alarm anyone, but I genuinely think I have left my toothbrush in the last place we were." (Liam)

"Poooop is all I have to sayy." (Liam)

THE WANTED HATE BRITNEY SPEARS NOWThe British boy band THE WANTED recently called CHRISTINA AGUILERA a "total bitch, and now they're criticizing BRITNEY SPEARS' handlers for not letting them LOOK at Britney when they opened for her.

SIVA KANESWARAN says, "I was in the hallway with my tour manager. Basically we were looking with a laptop, trying to get Wi-Fi...facing the middle of the hallway. [Britney's] bouncers came down with her and told us to face the wall.

"We turned around. And I faced a wall for about 10 seconds until she got really far away. It was serious." (This doesn't make much sense. Maybe the bodyguard thought he was filming Britney with his laptop?)

Britney's camp DENIES this. Her rep says, "What's even more interesting than the false allegations they made is the fact that they have claimed to be picked on by two female pop stars in just a few days.

"Look out Lady Gaga...there are still three days left this week."

Regardless, The Wanted doesn't have anything against Britney personally. JAY MCGUINESS says, "When we actually met her person to person, she was so down to Earth. You can tell she's a total southern girl."

That's probably mutual. In November, Britney posed for a picture with The Wanted...and Tweeted it out to her followers with the caption: "We hung out backstage! Love them!" Here's the link

DUMPING FRIENDSJust so you know, if you plan on DUMPING someone anytime soon, it's going to cost you some friends. And not just Facebook friends. Actual friends.

According to a new poll by a website called HealBee.com, the average man or woman loses EIGHT friends in a break-up.

And that's not even counting the person you break-up with...because, I assume, you agree to "stay friends" even though that's clearly a lie, and falls apart within a month.

The average person loses three of their ex's friends, three mutual friends, and two friends they knew before the relationship.

And the people behind the poll say the results were consistent across gender, age, and geography

TALKIN' TRIBEWell actually just talkin' baseball...Will you have to crack into your 401(k) to afford a game this summer? The good news is, probably not. The bad news is...even though it's not THAT expensive, it's not exactly cheap.

The annual "Fan Cost Index" just came out, which breaks down the prices at all 30 Major League Baseball stadiums. Here's what it found...

Tickets. The average ticket to a baseball game costs $27, and the average GOOD seat costs $88. Those numbers haven't changed from last season.

Hot dogs. The average hot dog price is $4.13. The Cincinnati Reds are the cheapest...their new "dollar menu" offers $1 hot dogs. Hey!! I like it! The Miami Marlins and New York Mets are tied for most expensive...their cheapest hot dog is $6.

Beer. The average price for a small beer is $6.10. The average size of the smallest beer is 15 ounces, or three ounces more than a standard can.

The Arizona Diamondbacks have the best small beer value, at $4 for a 14-ounce beer. They actually charge that same price for a 14-ounce SODA as well. The Boston Red Sox have the worst deal on beer BY FAR, at $7.25 for a 12-ounce.

ALMOST VACATION SEASON...TripAdvisor just released their annual list of the top places to visit on the planet, and apparently people have gotten less adventurous in the past year.

Last year's number one was Cape Town, South Africa. Number two was Sydney, Australia, and number three was Machu Picchu in Peru. This year none of those three made the list. This year's choices are MUCH less exciting.

#1.) London, England

#2.) New York City

#3.) Rome, Italy

#4.) Paris, France

#5.) San Francisco, California

#6.) Marrakech, Morocco

#7.) Istanbul, Turkey

#8.) Barcelona, Spain

#9.) Siem Reap, Cambodia

#10.) Berlin, Germany

The list is based on an analysis of hundreds of thousands of TripAdvisor's reviews over the past year...so the places with the highest overall ratings made the list.

NEW MUSIC FROM ALANISALANIS MORISSETTE has a new album coming out on August 29th. It's called "Havoc and Bright Lights", and the first single, "Guardian", will be out May 15th.

Alanis...being Alanis...had this to say about the new album: "This record, as always, is a snapshot of what I currently obsess about, care about, and what strikes me at 4:00 in the morning in my most introspective moments.

"It is my emotional, psychological, social and philosophical commentary through song."

That sure sounds BRILLIANT...but we all know Alanis is at her BEST when she's FUSSING about something with angry, angsty sarcasm. Or at least, I think so. I haven't really paid attention to Alanis since the '90s.

Specifically, I'm talking about relationships. If you didn't know, "Full House" stud DAVE COULIER claims the song "You Oughta Know" was addressed to HIM. He dated Alanis in the early '90s. Alanis has never confirmed that.)

Also, she's said that her last album, "Flavors of Entanglement", was inspired by her split from RYAN REYNOLDS in 2007.

But now she's married to rapper MARIO TREADWAY, a.k.a. MC SOULEYE. Their relationship seems fine, and they have a kid together. So now that Alanis is so domestic, what will she be whining about this time?

Maybe things like: The A-hole that cut off her mini-van in her cul-de-sac...the organic market was out of fresh eggplant, and she was planning to make ratatouille for dinner...

Or that the new iron that she ordered from Amazon.com was damaged during shipment, and her laundry is piling up.

GAGA IS SINGLE...IF YOU CARELADY GAGA and her boyfriend TAYLOR KINNEY have split up. Well, according to a source, they're, "on a break."

The source says, "Gaga will be touring nonstop until next year and has found she can't have a relationship at the same time. There's just no room for anything else. Her work is all-consuming."

FOX IS PISSEDFox has announced a new dating competition show, which totally rips off "The Voice"...right down to the blind auditions and spinning chairs.

Here's how it'll work: Eligible bachelors and bachelorettes will "audition" for four singlecelebrities, who will be seated in the chairs. Like "The Voice", the stars will be faced away from the contestants at the beginning.

The contestants will talk about themselves, and if a celebrity likes what they hear, they pull their "love handle," and their chair spins around. If two stars are interested, the contestant gets to choose one of them.

Each celebrity will choose three potential matches...and then there are two additional rounds, where the celebrities whittle it down to the one they want to go on a date with. There's no word on what kind of "celebrities" are doing this.

If it didn't go without saying, Fox notes that all the contestants will be, "physically attractive."

By the way, Fox doesn't seem to GIVE A RAT'S ASS that this totally rips off NBC's "The Voice". The show is even called "The Choice"...and a promo brags: "Four celebrities. Blind auditions. Spinning chairs. But it's not what you think."

Hmm. It sure sounds like SOMEONE'S still a little sore about "The Voice" coming in and taking a bite out of "American Idol". I have to admit, this is so brazen it's kind of amusing.

"The Choice" premieres June 7th. The host will be CAT DEELEY, who also hosts Fox's "So You Think You Can Dance".

Wait a minute. "The Voice" is hosted by CARSON DALY. Could they have found a host with a more similar name than Cat Deeley? This is all REALLY odd.

Despite all the obvious similarities, Fox suit Mike Darnell was coy about them stealing anything. When asked about using the spinning chairs, he said, "I had three choices. Choice one: Do a wall like they used to do on 'Dating Game'.

"Choice two: Blindfold them, which would look ridiculous. Or choice three: Go modern and do a chair that turns."

And when asked about the show's TITLE, he added, "'The Choice' seems like an obvious title because you have to make a choice. I'm just now realizing it rhymes!"

MEN AND WOMEN CAN'T BE FRIENDS: STUDYResearchers at the University of Wisconsin in Eau Claire ran a study on more than 400 adults ages 18 to 52, and their friendships with members of the opposite sex.

And they found that pretty much across the board, opposite-sex friendships just made people MISERABLE.

There was almost always SOME degree of sexual tension...and the more attracted someone was to their friend, the less satisfied they were in their current romantic relationship.

And usually, the GUY in the friendship is the one causing the problems. The researchers say that's just basic evolution...men aren't wired to be friends with women, they're wired to try to have sex with as many of them as possible.

"Attraction in friendship is happening, and it's persistent. Based on all our data, in the majority of friendships there's at least a low level of attraction."

MOVIESAccording to a survey in Canada by a theater chain called Cineplex Entertainment, the average person goes to their first movie in a theater when they're nine years old.

60% of people say that they've been to a movie on a first date, and 35% of people say it's the most common place to take a first date, ahead of dinner and going to a party.

Here are our biggest pet peeves about going to the movies:

#1.) When other people won't SHUT UP: 33% said that people talking was the worst.

#2.) When the person behind you KICKS your SEAT: 18% of people think that's the worst.

#3.) When someone sits RIGHT in front of you, even though there are plenty of other seats: 14% of people mentioned that.

TEBOW DITCHES PROM18-year-old Rachel Bird of Kingsley, Iowa is a blonde high school cheerleader at Kingsley-Pierson High School.

Her senior prom was last weekend, and she wanted her date to be...TIM TEBOW. So a few weeks back, she tweeted to him, his agent, and the New York Jets asking him to go to the prom. She never got a response.

So rather than go to prom with an actual guy, she decided she was STILL going to go with Tebow. A LIFE-SIZE CARDBOARD CUTOUT of Tebow, that she made at Staples.

Rachel says she didn't get a real date because, "A lot of my friends are guys and they were involved [already] with girls. I didn't want to go with just anybody just to have a date."

She also says she's not bitter at Tebow for never responding. Quote, "He must get 100 requests a minute."