The Black Sheep

Booze Review: Bud Light Lime

When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. When life hands you limes? You better make some booze. For years, Bud Light stood at the pinnacle of unsettling personal self-discovery. Your best bro is really handsome, isn’t he? You peaked in high school, right? Now, with the help of some fruity limes, your insecurities will no longer be received with trepidation, but rather with acceptance.

Grade: B

Looks Like:

The bottle is incredibly sassy, but everything inside is typically bland. You’ll meet the human equivalent of this beer at any sorority.

Smells Like:

Bud Light mixed with lime. No jokes here. Just facts, bitch.

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Tastes Like:

A wet, hot, American summer.

Typical Drinkers:

-Stephen Colbert.

-The guy who doesn’t like “traditional” beer, but also doesn’t want to go too far from the main stream. So, an asshole.

-Chinese people. Seriously, we found out that China is the biggest producer of limes in the world. We are also an educational news source.

User Comments:

“Arriba!”

“I want this in and around my mouth.”

“If someone says ‘Arriba’ one more time, I’m gonna punch them in the face.”

We Mixed it With: More lime juice! We know, we’re crazy.

What Can You Expect From a Bud Light Lime Hangover:

Little to nothing at all. The citrus in the beer actually helps to offset the alcohol, so you’re unlikely to experience a hangover. (Are we lying? You decide!)

What Your High School Nemesis Might Say if They Saw You Drinking This:

“Still fruity. I see you haven’t changed one bit.”

How to Impress Your Stalker Using Said Drink:

Your stalker will be impressed by your ingenuity when you use an empty Bud Light Lime bottle as a weapon against them. However, this showing of thoughtful craftiness will no doubt lead to a stronger foundation of their love for you and thus, more stalking.