Thursday, July 4, 2013

Forget The 300, The 56 Is the Greatest Underdog Story of All Time

Thomas Jefferson gets a lot of credit as a pointy-headed diplomat type. But re-reading what he set down in the Declaration of Independence today it occurs to me he was more than that. He was the Chuck Norris prototype. Dig this excerpt from the DOI: "We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends." Has anyone ever said we're fixin' to kick your ass more eloquently? The answer to that question is no.

So 56 dudes signed on to take on an Empire. Dudes wearing wigs none the less. The odds weren't compelling. Twenty on the Empire, please. But it didn't go down that way. It was no cheesy Hollywood movie. This was the real schnazzle. Win or die. And they did.

300 muscle-bound Spartans? Forget that noise. Give me 56 wig-wearing honkies any day and I'll bring down an Empire.

I say forget the 300. How about the 56? That's why we're here cracking that sixer of Natural Lite, or Old Milwaukee's Best, or Busch Light depending on your region. Are we still the good guys after all these years? Are we living up to the incredibly lofty moral and intellectual example set for us? I don't know. Maybe we never did. Maybe it's not best to measure oneself against an example like Thomas Jefferson. Hell maybe even Jefferson had feet of clay. Who cares on a day like this? Fifty-six men changed the Universe, and we live every day in the freedom, prosperity, and hope for human equality they were fighting for. Old Milwaukee's Best Light, please. Pin It