Recruitment warren finds perfect staff

Have you heard the disturbing news that scientists are planning to create human-rabbit hybrid embryos? Apparently, it is being done to speed up research into the causes of inherited conditions such as motor neurone disease and Parkinson’s.

The work involves placing the nucleus of a human cell inside a rabbit egg. It has been decried as ‘unethical’ and tantamount to ‘playing God’.

Having heard the rabbit news, Guru had a thought. Why not carry the research to its natural conclusion and breed a whole race of rabbit humans? Think of the business benefits. They would only need to be let out of their cages once or twice a day, thus solving the sticky issue of work-life balance. They would be a healthy bunch with their lettuce-based diet, negating the need for medical insurance. And all those carrots would mean you wouldn’t have to pay for eye tests either.

But as with all these ideas there’s a downside, and Guru feels it’s worth pointing out the problems if you are going to go forward with your own genetic breeding programme.

First, there is an increased risk of militancy, leading to possible union action. Proof of this comes from the employment tribunal decision in the case of Bigwig v General Woundwort, as reported in Watership Down.

Furthermore, the chance of sexual harassment claims is very high, as rabbits are known to go at it, well, like rabbits.