Maynard, MA, USA: Beacon-Villager newspaper column on local history, observations on nature and recreational activities, plus an occasional health-related article. Columns from 2009-11 collected into book "MAYNARD: History and Life Outdoors." Columns from 2012-14 collected into book "Hidden History of Maynard." - David A. Mark

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Wednesday, August 10, 2016

In Memory of Daniel Mark (1984-2009)

Daniel Mark dressed up for a family event

August marks the seventh anniversary of our son’s death.
Most people don’t think of epilepsy as a potentially lethal disease. It is.
Daniel’s epilepsy was part of his life from an early age. In spite of his
epilepsy and his other disabilities, his attitude about life was “I want it
all.” His goal was to live his life with as much independence and joy as
possible. He was proud to work at a horse stable and a supermarket. He was
happy to meet every person he ever met. Daniel lived in Maynard from 2000 to 2008.
Then, at age 24 years, he moved to a supported-living house in a near by town,
but continued to visit Maynard often.

Eight things Daniel liked to do in
Maynard:

Walk
around. Maynard is one of the few walk-around towns in the area. Where
else do you have more than 40 restaurants, stores and shops within walking
distance?

Summer
concerts in the park. A place to meet friends and listen to the town band
work through a Disney medley.

Erikson’s
Ice Cream. Serving ice cream in Maynard since 1937.

Friday
night football. Whether you have kids at the high school or not, it’s not
the worst way to spend an evening. Sometimes the opposing team has more
cheerleaders than Maynard has team members. And still, often enough,
Maynard wins.

Volunteer
to clean up the river. Because where else can you walk around in ankle
deep mud dragging out tires with a bunch of friends?

See a
movie. Maynard has a movie theater. Acton
does not. Stow
does not. Sudbury
does not. Concord
does not.

Dine
at a Maynard restaurant. Oft times Daniel knew wait staff from his high
school days. If the food was good he would say “No offense Dad, but this
tastes better than your cooking.” If it was very good, he’d say “I can’t
stop eating this!”

Drinking
with friends. Daniel could not drive, but he did have a state photo ID so
he could travel by air. And, as he figured out, if he ran into buddies
from his high school days while walking around downtown, they could go to
a local bar and he could use his “drinking license” to order a
non-alcoholic (because of his meds) beer.

Quiet moment at the
barn job arranged by Minute Man ARC: The ARC

mission statement:
"Improving the lives of children and adults

with disabilities
through therapeutic services, employment,

recreation, housing
and community involvement."

Epilepsy affects one in a hundred people, and impacts the
lives of their families and friends. It is our fondest hope that cures may be
found - better drugs, better surgery - so that other families will not
experience the loss that we sustained. In memory of Daniel, make a point of
enjoying life in Maynard.

This is the point in a column where readers might expect a
request to donate to a specific health related charity. But the truth is we all
have dealt with, or are dealing with, or will deal with disease and death in
our own families. There is lots of advice on how to deal with grief, but it
always boils down to: Get help. Take care of yourself. Take care of others. So,
get help, take care of yourself, and support the charity that is right for you.

Our family toast,
before our evening meal, is "To family and friends, with us and
gone."