Thursday, February 26, 2009

I've been trying to eat more healthily lately. Well, lately means since Christmas when I was joined by a few extra pounds that seem to be amazingly needy and clingy. So you might think it's odd that I'm listing some of my favorite fast food indulgences but it's mostly out of an extreme longing for the things I'm trying to avoid right now. Maybe once the jeans aren't feeling quite so tight I can go back to enjoying my transfats and cholesterol cravings guilt-free but for now all I can do is dream . . .

1. Blackberry Milkshakes. While I'll admit that I don't think I've ever had a bad milkshake the ones I crave the most are at our local burger den, Arctic Roadrunner. They've been in business since . . . like, forever and because of those blackberry shakes I've written the restaurant into my will.

Have you ever heard how many calories are in a regularly-sized milkshake? It's something like 6500--give or take--but I love them with a passion that will never die.

2. Peach Cobbler Milkshakes. Which is why I'm going to mention one other of my favorites before moving on. When I lived in Provo, Utah during my days at school there was this local burger place called Stevenettes--or at least that's what we called it. I'm actually not certain that that's what the name was, rumor was that Steve Young owned the place but that's probably just one of those urban legends (or rather a rural legend, I wouldn't exactly call Provo a metropolis or anything).

But at any rate they had, among other wonders, these milkshakes in any flavor you could dream up and my favorite was peach cobbler which had little bits of shortbread cookies mixed in with the chunks of peach suspended in all that fattening glorious ice cream. The day I gave birth to Grace Andrew brought me one in the hospital to celebrate. If you're in the area go get one and enjoy it for me.

3. Burger King onion rings. French fries are fine--don't think I've got anything against them--but onion rings are the food of the gods. Burger King's are my favorite. You know when you bite into an onion ring but you don't quite get all the way through the onion inside so you end up having to slurp the soft little onion guy out of the deep-fried batter tube? Well that completely grosses Andrew out--it makes him cower in terror and I kind of do it just to watch him twitch.

4. Turkey bacon guacamole sandwiches at Quiznos. I've always loved Subway sandwiches but I must admit Quiznos' toasty goodness is even better. When I'm trying to be good, either with money or calories, I go to Subway but when I want pure pleasure? It's Quiznos. Every time it's the same thing: turkey bacon guacamole on wheat. I don't really know why I throw the "wheat" part in there, with all that fat it's not as if the wheat magically transforms it into a healthy meal but somehow it kind of makes me feel better and justifies the whole experience.

I've tried other sandwiches there and while they're fine and all I keep coming back to the good stuff and about a year ago I just completely gave up even thinking about ordering something new. Stick with the best, that's the way to live.

5. Broccoli Cheese Soup at Quiznos. So if I'm feeling really wild the only thing I'll do differently is to replace half the sandwich with a cup of their Broccoli Cheese soup which is seriously the best broccoli cheese soup on the planet. I don't know how they got it so cheesy and good and I don't really want to know but boy it's good. Andrew won't touch the stuff--he figures he doesn't have to eat any vegetables when he's eating out--but I've got Grace turned onto it.

6. Soft Tacos and Bean Burritos at Taco Bell. I'd never eaten at Taco Bell until I met Andrew then he changed my world. In fact on one of our first dates we were sitting in Taco Bell, probably staring deeply into each other eyes all mushy-like when it dawned on me that I had promised to take my sister and her friend into Salt Lake to see the Nutcracker. They had tickets and the show was starting in 15 minutes (it's a good hour's drive). I still feel guilty for making us late by being so flaky and it's been 16 years but I still also love Taco Bell and always get the same thing: a bean burrito and a soft taco. If I'm really hungry I might go wild and get two bean burritos and a soft taco or the other way around but it's always the same. Boy do I live on the edge, I'm like Thelma and Louise rolled into one package.

7. Taco Bell Sauce. Whatever I'm eating at Taco Bell I've gotta have their taco sauce--mild please. I love that stuff like crazy and need approximately two and a half packets for each tortilla-ed tasty I eat. I don't take hotel towels or ashtrays but I have been known to take a couple extra Taco Bell sauce packets home with me though I sorta stopped doing that because it felt kind of wrong. Something about cleaning the place out of mild sauce kind of made me feel like I needed to go to confession.

8. Quarter Pounders at McDonald's. Have you seen these commercials running right now on American Idol where it shows this guy biting into a Quarter Pounder and slowly reaching nirvana? Well they're working. I love Quarter Pounders though I can't really remember the last time I had one and something about those commercials where they zoom in on the burger and you can see the patty all shiny after its recent frying and the fake yellow processed cheese drooping seductively over the edge of the patty is getting to me. I can taste one every time they come on and it's been hard. So very hard.

9. Arby Q Sauce. Man I could drink this stuff it's so good. I never go to Arby's but if they sold this sauce in the supermarket you can be sure I'd be buying it. This site claims to have the recipe for it--I really ought to give it a try though if their claims are true who knows where my cravings would end? Pouring it on cold cereal? Over ice cream? It could be very bad. I don't know that I'm ready for it.

10. Schlotzsky's Sourdough. Why is it called sourdough? It doesn't really taste like I've come to remember sourdough tasting but that doesn't necessarily translate into a complaint. I looked the recipe up for this one as well and all the sites claiming to have the recipe say the same thing.

Ingredients:1 package sourdough bun mixwateryeast

Okaaaaay . . . sounds like it's easier to find weapons of mass destruction than it is to find a legitimate recipe for making these buns but that doesn't mean I will be stopped. I will experiment until I find a way. With or without the cooperation of the United Nations.

11. Apple Pies at McDonald's. The baked apple pies at McDonald's are really really good--and especially for only $.50--but if you want to really get me happy, if you want to take things to the next level then you need to order an apple pie but ask them to put it in a cup with some vanilla ice cream on top.

You heard me. Yes, it is legal and yes it can be done though you might get some little newbie working the drive through that balks a bit at first. Just be calm, be patient but be persistent. Tell them that they do it all the time for Michelle in Alaska--maybe that'll work.

12. Dipped Cones at Tastee Freeze. And to finish with the whole ice cream theme I'm going to put you wise to the greatest fast food menu item ever. Ready? Chocolate soft-serve cones at Tastee Freeze are fine but if you're really really lucky your local branch will have toasted coconut dip. You know--just like the chocolate shell that they dip the cone in and it hardens up so that it makes a mess when your toddlers try to eat it?

Well it's the same thing only here they have a bunch of dip flavors and one of them is toasted coconut. When you dip the chocolate into the sauce and it hardens it gives the cone this glorious golden glow and there are real pieces of coconut clinging to the cone, suspended in time and when you bite into it it is like eating a frozen ice cream-German chocolate cake on a cone. I've done a bit of experimenting and I have to say that using vanilla and strawberry soft serve for the base also has highly pleasing results as well but chocolate is the best. The very best.

We have so much in common Michelle! Particularly numbers 6, 7, and 9! I don't think I've ever gone to the Bell and ordered anything other than a Bean Burrito and a Soft Taco. My dad has practically perfected the homemade version of the Bell's Bean Burrito... but you have to either steal the sauce packets or buy it in a bottle at the grocery store.

And are there people who even consider eating an Arby's Roast Beef without the sauce?! I can't believe that... I put it on top of the meat, and then take an extra packet (or 2) and squeeze some on after each bite.

Onion rings are my weakness, but onions rings from Burger King do not agree with me at all. They give me such bad stomach cramps that my husband won't let me order for myself if we go there. He knows I won't have the power to order french fries instead of onion rings. And then I always lament, "Why'd you let me eat those?!"

When I was working at a bank during college, there was a Wendy's across the street. I think I survived on 99-cent Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers!

I lived in Anchorage (actually EAFB) when I was little and one of my favorite memories of living up there was going to the Tastee Freeze out on Raspberry Rd. Too bad I live 3000 miles away, otherwise I'd be there in a second after reading your blog!!

As a matter of fact, this entry is truly a potential diet-wrecker... should come with a warning or something :)

Is there still a Tastee Freeze at Raspberry & Jewel Lake? When we lived in Anchorage, we were in that neighborhood across Raspberry from that little shopping center, and you better believe that MANY walks ended up at Tastee Freeze!!

I never get to Burger King or Quiznos (even though we have them relatively close). My favorite grease weakness is the tater tots at Sonic; they're never greasy and so crunchy.

Gotta love Taco Bell. I second the soft tacos and bean burritos, but with Medium sauce (cause I'm a spicy kind of girl). Sometimes when I'm not hungry I'll just get a bowl of pintos and cheese-THAT'S one recipe I'd like to be able to duplicate!

These look good - even at 9 in the morning. :) My guilty pleasure is hot dogs - all kinds of hot dogs, but especially chili and cheese ones! Those apple pies are delicious; I also like hot fudge and caramel sundaes from McDonald's. :)

WOW that Quizno's sandwich sounds fantastic - might have to try and make that at home one day! Anything with bacon and avocado can't be anything but divine.

I'd add something to the list and I'm guessing they don't have it in AK but it warrants a special trip... Chick-Fil-A (particularly their traditional chicken sandwich). It would easily (save for the sentimental value) replace Taco Bell on your list... anytime, anyday.

I love tacos at Jack-in-the-box, fried zucchini at Carl's Jr., crispy chicken burritos at Taco Time (are they even still in business), and Dairy Queen. I love DQ's chicken strips and white gravy, their fries are so yummy, and they used to have frozen hot chocolate that I absolutely fell head over heels in love with.

I remember Stevenette's! Didn't they have two for one shakes on Monday nights? But apparently I missed out by not ordering the peach cobbler shake--I was more of a grasshopper or oreo person. I'm afraid those calorie-carefree days are over for me. When we take the kids out for shakes (Arctic Circle) they know that I won't order my own--I just get to take a bite of each of theirs.

You're killing me, Michelle, you're killing me! I definitely want to go and eat at a place called the Arctic Roadrunner. I'm betting we don't have one of those here in Mass. And the next time I'm near quiznos, I'm getting one of those turkey bacon guac on wheat subs!

Yes, Arctic Roadrunner and Tastee Freeze are still there. THey'll never go out of business thanks to my efforts.

We don't have Sonics or Chick-Fil-A but we recently got a Dairy Queen (love those Peanut Buster Parfaits).

I should have also added Krispy Kreme to the list though we don't have one of those either. They're so good and my Mom swears that they fry their donuts at a slightly lower heat so that they absorb a bit more grease or something to make them taste better. The Maui airport is right next door to a Krispy Kreme and on the Alaska flights you can see all these Alaskans returning home with boxes of Krispy Kremes on their laps for the flight home. Sometimes locals will have boxes of the donuts overnighted for fundraisers and you'll see a roadside stand with someone advertising "Krispy Kremes for the South football team" or something like that.

(link to the pic: http://maps.google.com/maps?oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&ie=UTF8&q=the+malt+shoppe+provo&fb=1&split=1&gl=us&cid=0,0,8774442686803290597&ei=YLWmSakxibiwA7af2OIP&ll=40.251208,-111.658537&spn=0,359.993091&t=h&z=17&layer=c&cbll=40.251121,-111.658536&panoid=eDQcsAiX_ZpuU8KnIvc7uw&cbp=12,34.56320665437787,,0,5.559006211180124 )

I love onion rings from Burger King, but because they are a treat I allow myself only about once a year, they do miserable things to my digestive system. I always regret it later!!

My hidden weakness is McDonald's french fries. Probably once or twice a month, I covertly go through the drive through, order a small fry, wolf them down in a matter of seconds, and then roll the windows down in my car so no one can smell the wonderful smell and know I sneak fast food. It really wouldn't do much for my reputation as a healthy eater!!

Wow! What have I been missing at Quizno's?? I've even been throwing out coupons for Quizno's left and right - thinking "I'll never eat there...." Looks like I'll have to head over there but soon for the turkey bacon guac on wheat!!!

You have to admit that some of the best milkshakes come out of Provo Utah. I also love Arby Q sauce...not just for the taste but also because it sounds perfect when you say it.."Extra Arby Q sauce please". I was extremely addicted to Arby's when pregnant..and wow..if only I could've locked myself in the Eagle River Arby's overnight...well..I can still dream.

So much to say...lol.Never had a peach cobbler shake but our DQ had a Banana Creme Pie Blizard that has bananas and shortbread cookies and it topped with whipped cream. Ditto on the onion rings, especially with their onion ring sauce...yum!Quizno's rocks!Carmel apple empanada from Taco Bell is to die for. Taco Bell sauce makes me laugh. Chip (my oldest)wanted to show how tough he was so he shot into his mouth their fire sauce. Poor lad turned beat red...lolArBQ sauce mixed with horsey sauce makes the roastbeef sandwich.Micky D's apple pies are ok but their apple muffins are great. I have teh recipe for those...should make them.Well...I guess I came out of lurkdom and told you what I think of fast food! Great blog!

You know what else Taco Bell Taco sauce is good on? Maccaroni and Cheese. The kind from a box. Not the powdered, but the Kraft Deluxe or the Velveta shells & cheese. Just mix it right in on your plate. Heaven!

You are a woman after my own heart, or stomach,lol. I love Quiznos, and I get the Mesquite Chicken sandwich with guacamole. I make sure they put the guac on there, because that's what it's all about. And don't get me started on Quarter Pounders, that reminds me of my college days. Evil, pure evil.

As a kid, one of our favorite fast food treats was dipping our french fries into our Wendy's Frosty. As an adult, I admit a mild addiction to Arby's curly fries. I just love a good seasoned fry. Oh, dipped in ranch.

I don't know if I have any favorites from a fast food restaurant other than McDonald's fries, with their yummy apple pies coming in a close second.

My guilty pleasure is a Burrito Special from Benny's. We only go there about twice a year, but it is so worth it. I was really heart broken when that monstrosity of a hotel took over it's long standing parking space. At least it didn't move too far away.

Popping in here to keep up with all this amazingness--I am so glad I'm not going out for lunch, I'd be making half a dozen stops to try out all these things I"m craving.

Lime Ricky?? sounds fabulous. And I can imagine that dipping your fries in a shake might be good, I really like drinking smoothies for breakfast and last time I did that we had a package of Costco croissants and I dipped pieces of the croissant into the smoothie and it was fabulous.

JOlene--Andrew is a former Taco Bell man too, that was his first paid formal job as a teen. He was the one who measured out the meat for eat taco. There was a job title that was hysterical but I can't remember what it was right now.

I have to confess (Anonymous) that I've never had a Lucky Wishbone shake--only their chicken--I wish you hadn't told me about it.

And mac and cheese with TB sauce? I'd eat it for sure--my kids pour salsa on their mac and cheese all the time ;) We're total white trash and loving it!

note to self: do NOT read blogs about food by michelle at 11:00 at night. there is NO WAY your husband is going to go to mcdonalds at this late hour, even if it IS your anniversary and you have borne his children!! Nope, just a blank stare :-)

I think I gained 5 pounds just by reading this! I'm with you - just slap it on wheat bread and it magically becomes healthy... I'll take that blackberry milkshake with a side of whole wheat toast please... :)

I just had my first Quiznos last night - used their free coupon - and tried the turkey bacon guacamole on wheat, not having yet read your glowing review! It was wonderful! I had to eat it quickly as I was being attacked by 3 feline furbabies wanting their share, but I would definitely get it again. And I agree with the soft tacos at Taco Bell. I've never been a bean burrito person but once had a cat who loved, loved, loved bean burritos with hot sauce. My ex would get them, and the cat would eat nearly a whole one all by herself if we would let her. Not a plain bean burrito, not one with mild sauce -- it had to have hot sauce. And yes, she spent the remainder of the evening outside!

I am so seriously drooling right now! I never thought when we moved to the north woods that the thing I'd miss the most was food! Not just any food, but select items similar to your list. I've been dying for a decent pizza and latte' since we got here. You're good for my diet though - look and can't touch works great!

I was a STRICT Bean Burrito/ Soft Taco girl @ taco Bell... until I tried the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Now THAT is so good ole' fast food HEAVEN (though I get it w/out the baja sauce - that stuff is NOT necessary). Mmmmmm!

I'm glad I ate a giant baked potato right before reading this or I'd be SO MAD at you! hahaha It's a 30 minute drive to *any* fast food places.

I think the only fast food that could make my list is Wendy's Chili (it costs a dollar and tastes like homemade), and the Chicken Philly from Charley's subs.

Okay, I lied...if local mom-and-pop shops count, the shakes and the halibut fish and chips at Ripples totally rock! And the Turkey-Avocado BLTS, Gyros and fries at Connals in Pasadena are worth a stop every time we go back. Same goes for the JVC at Burrito Express in Pasadena!

I'm with you on the onion rings - although I don't know if Burger King "takes the cake" for best of class in that category.

I'm not a big fast food fan, but - if I am going to get a burger - I prefer Carls Jr's Western Bacon Cheeseburger (which I have heard is their LEAST healthy burger...sigh) or a Cheeseburger from In-N-Out.