15. Here’s a favorite trick:

Once you give us the keys to appraise your trade-in, you won’t get them back until you’re ready to leave and you ask for them. While I’m getting them for you, another salesman will try to close a deal.

21. Once you’ve agreed on a price, you think you’re done – but we’re just getting started.

Worn out and ready to go home, you sign document after document. Then you wake up the next day, look down, and you signed a contract that had a $1,995 extended warranty that isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. And you’re stuck.

32. Seven words I hate:

33. Please do the math.

You can’t get a $40,000 Tahoe for $250 a month for 72 months! Even at zero percent, $40,000 divided by 72 months is $555 before tax, title, and license fees. If you want a bargain, try to wait until the end of model year, usually in September or October, when we need to move cars off the lot.