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At work today I saw a man with towels draped over him in the picnic area barbecuing in the pouring rain. He stood close to the grill to protect the flames with the rain drenched towels and clothing that clung to his body.

Why does summer make men want to cook outside? Stand back, you womenfolk, I’m a man and I feel the need to cook food outside where it’s really hot and there are flies that will land on the food. Be careful, you womenfolk, I’ve got fire here and it’s really dangerous. Don’t you know that fire can burn you?

Any real man has enough sense to cook his or someone else’s food in sanitary indoor conditions.

Yes, I am a man but I would really prefer to be called something less offensive.