It’s extremely hard for all involved when someone you love has been sexually assaulted. Below are a few key suggestions on how to help as well as some links for more information.

Listen. Be there. Believe in them. Each survivor has their own unique reaction to sexual assault, do your best to understand how your student is feeling by keeping the focus on their reactions to the assault. It’s hard not to want all the details or to try to recreate what happened to find a way to avoid or undo it. Do your best to keep your focus on the here and now.

Help your student empower themselves. It’s common to want to step in and ‘fix’ things when someone you love has been hurt. Try to remember that helping your student to empower themselves is one of the most supportive things you can do for them. Do this by allowing them to make choices based on what they feel will work for them.

Check out available RESOURCES. There is a lot of help available for students who have been sexually assaulted both on and off-campus. Think of the services provided like a buffet - they can choose to take advantage of all, none or some of the help that is available. It is great to provide information to your student, just remember that they need to be the one to make the final decisions.

Provide on-site support (if wanted). If your loved one is considering seeking medical attention or reporting the assault, having someone with them can make a huge difference. If you are not able to be with them, a medical advocate from the Crime Victims and Sexual Violence Center in Albany can accompany them. On-site support can also be really helpful if your student decides to pursue judicial services through the University’s Office of Conflict Resolution and Civic Responsibility.

Remember to take care of yourself. Having someone else to speak with about your experiences can help to keep the focus on your student in your interactions with them. Please feel free to contact the University Counseling Center to speak with one of our psychologists to see how we can help.

All of the above suggestions are made with the assumption that you are not worried about your family member’s immediate safety. If you have ANY concerns about your student’s safety, please call the University Police Department (518-442-3131) if they are on campus or 911 if they are off campus. If you are not in the Albany area, the Albany Area Police can be reached at 518-438-4000.

The key to helping a friend who has been sexually assaulted is really providing three things. 1) Listening and believing in them. 2) Allowing them to make their own decisions about what they need and want. 3) Being there for them in ways that they ask. We’ve spelled them out a little more below and also provided the all-important fourth – Make sure you take care of your own needs.

Listen. Be there. Believe in them. Each survivor has their own unique reaction to sexual assault, do your best to understand how your friend is feeling by keeping the focus on their reactions to the assault. It’s hard not to want all the details or to try to recreate what happened to find a way to avoid or undo it. Do your best to keep your focus on the here and now.

Help your friend empower themselves. It’s common to want to step in and ‘fix’ things when a friend has been hurt. Try to remember that helping your friend empower themselves is one of the most supportive things you can do for them. Do this by allowing them to make choices based on what they feel will work for them and not by telling them what they ‘need’ to do or ‘should’ do. If you want to provide your friend with options, contact the Counseling Center or consider showing your friend the online brochure.

Provide on-site support (if wanted). If your friend is considering seeking medical attention or reporting the assault, having someone with them can make a huge difference. If you’re not able to be with them, a medical advocate from the Crime Victims and Sexual Violence Center in Albany can accompany them.

Remember to take care of yourself. Having someone else to speak with about your experiences can help to keep the focus on your friend when you’re talking with them. Please feel free to contact the University Counseling Center to speak with one of our psychologists to see how we can help either you or your friend. You can also call the Middle Earth Peer Assistance Hotline at 518-442-5777 to talk to someone.

All of the above suggestions are made with the assumption that you are not worried about your friend’s immediate safety. If you have ANY concerns about your friend’s safety, please call 911.

The Basics: The best thing you can do for the student is to listen to and believe them. There is an online brochure for students who have been sexually assaulted that does a nice job explaining the student’s options,and they do have a lot of options, regarding accommodations and support through the University.

Reporting: The student has the option of having their name released to the Office of the Vice President for Student Success. This report opens the door for the student to receive academic and/or residential accommodations. It does not oblige the student to press criminal or judicial charges. The release of their name is only to provide additional support from the University.

If the student is not willing to have their name released, it is still your obligation to contact the Office of the Vice President for Student Success, 518-956-8140, to report that an assault has occurred as well as the general time, date and location of the assault.

Consultation:The staff at the University Counseling Center is also available for consultation if you would like to speak to someone regarding a student’s report of sexual assault. To contact the University Counseling Center you can email consultation@albany.edu or phone 518-442-5800.

University’s Coordinated Response: The University at Albany’s Coordinated Response to the Sexual Assault of Students outlines the procedures that will allow members of the University community to be effective at introducing victims of assault to medical, psychological, and legal resources.