Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What they mean by "presidential" is that by contrast to the other GOP candidates, he's not bat-shit insane.

What they mean by "flip-flopper" is that he is now doing his best to appear as bat-shit insane as the rest of the GOP candidates, because that's what Republican voters like you want.

What any of this has to do with President Obama is something known only to Mallard, of course.

One can guess that he thinks it's automatically hilarious to insinuate a pejorative about President Obama, regardless of whether there's anything truthful (or funny) about it. For this reason, no one ever describes Mallard Fillmore as "funny".

Friday, June 24, 2011

Given that the majority of all Americans agree with that statement, results tend to be skewed in that direction anyway.

Which makes your pretend poll results a lot less shocking than my pretend poll, in which I found that 100% of Fox employees, as a condition of employment, must accept that President Obama is a Kenyan-born Marxist, who is literally bent on destroying America, probably the Anti-Christ, and even if he weren't all those things, still less qualified to be President than a boiled potato who belonged to the Republican Party.

If media bias ever existed (and truthfully the meme of Liberal Media bias can be traced back to Nixon and his paranoid brain), it is no longer a driving force behind Corporate-driven News, whose bias is toward whatever suits the parent company.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

As a present to the Dads out there, I'd suggest you give yourself a present and not read Mallard Fillmore today, because I'm fairly certain you're not the kind of Dad a child can look up to, in Mallard's estimation.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Fresh off mocking Social Networking, Mallard Fillmore (who regularly derides Higher Education) reads USA Today and finds out the Engineers, such as those responsible for building Social Networks, earn much more than he does.

Monday, June 13, 2011

In fairness, Mallard, the people appearing on The Bachelorette are less bat-shit insane than those appearing in the Republican debate.

Which, I suppose, would be a reason to prefer the Republican Primary as your viewing pleasure if it were a reality TV show, except that it's far too mean-spirited towards average Americans and turns off viewers.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Mallard, it's a lovely persecution complex you have going here. Part of the grievance-based ideology, I understand.

But here's my challenge to you: List specific incidents in which a GOP candidate said something that was decried in a mainstream media source as racist code or being dog whistle politics, and let's analyze what was said and see if the answer is for the media to stop decrying harmless things as racism or maybe, just maybe, the answer is for GOP candidates to stop saying things that are racist in nature.

I'm willing to take my chances on which of those proves to be true.

Unfortunately such a challenge is doomed from the start, since the usual standard for analysis is whether a reasonable person would find it racist. Mallard will, of course, insist he is a proxy for all reasonableness, and doesn't find the phrase "food stamp President" racist in any way: "What could possibly be racist about that? There are white people on food stamps. And some of my best friends are black."