The 411 Douchebag of the Week: Bill Maher

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Douchebag of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

Why does Gas Station TV exist? I mean, I understand what gas stations and whatnot get out of having fuel pumps that house screens so customers can see the little video bits that GSTV provides, money from advertising, but who decided that this was something that the world needed? The static advertising from stickers and fliers and banners and posters all over gas station property wasn’t enough? The world needs video bits telling a person pumping gas what the top movie, song, and book happen to be this week? And what is this “snippet from some ESPN sports talk show” thing about?

And then there’s the “weather report” that GSTV provides, which is, at best, several hours old and completely useless. Why is this necessary?

Look, I get it, advertisers are always looking for new ways to get their messages and products out to the public, and advertisers have money to spend. The internets certainly wouldn’t exist in its current form without money from advertisers, not to mention television. But gas stations? Shouldn’t people be paying attention to what they’re doing, pumping gas and checking fluid levels and whatnot, instead of watching a “what’s trending now” video about celebrities and shit?

Anyone else out there annoyed by Gas Station TV?

And now onto this week’s Douchebag of the Week.

This week, the 411 Douchebag of the Week goes to comedian and talk show host Bill Maher for his recent diatribe against comic books. According to the Real Time host, too many “smart Americans” spend way too much of their time reading and thinking about comic books (“stupid stuff”), that comic books can’t be great literature because they’re comic books, and Donald Trump was likely elected to be President of the United States because too many Americans like comic books. Maher apparently read comic books, on occasion, when he was a kid, but then stopped reading them when he “became an adult” and ultimately wishes that Americans would just stop liking “kid stuff” like comic books.

Now, tons of people from all over the world have condemned Maher for his attack on comic books and the people who like comic books and his dismissal of the death of Stan Lee. Several people have pointed out that Maher had no problem cashing the check he received for appearing in Iron Man 3 despite appearing in something he believes caused and continues to cause massive intellectual harm. Maher has made similar statements in the past. I do remember him saying something about people not reading “great literature” anymore, opting instead to read junk like comic books, which are for weak minds or children (he said this on Real Time. I don’t remember the exact episode he said it but I do remember him saying it during a “New Rules” segment).

Ignoring the “liberal” idea of allowing people to live their lives as they see fit, which is what Maher’s constant marijuana legalization stance is all about, let’s take a look at Bill Maher’s love for the cartoon Family Guy. Maher is big buddies with Family Guy creator and star Seth MacFarlane, and Maher has appeared on the show three times according to imdb. Why would Maher appear on a cartoon? Aren’t cartoons for children? Cartoons haven’t always been kid stuff, but I’d be willing to bet that when Maher was a kid, the late 1950’s through the 1960’s, cartoons were on TV and considered kid stuff. What’s changed since the late 1950’s and now? The idea that “cartoons and animation are strictly for kids” has changed. Some cartoons are for kids, and some are not. We have stuff like Paw Patrol, which is made for kids, and we have stuff like Family Guy, which is made for older people. Comic books have changed in the same way, too, since then. We still have comics made for kids, but we also have comics made for older people, too.

So, is it safe to say that Maher hasn’t bothered to read a newer/modern comic book? I think it is. I think it’s obvious that “liberal” Bill Maher hasn’t bothered to do his homework, hasn’t bothered to look into the comic book world as it exists now, and is just talking out of his ass because he thinks he’s figured something out about the world. Or he’s just saying shit to get people talking about him (Real Time is off until January). Either way, it’s all pretty lame, and it’s proof that there are oodles of lazy ass liberal motherfuckers out there.

And didn’t Maher just end his last 2018 show asking the world to stop talking about politics and talk about something else? Yes, yes he did. So why not talk about comic books or comic book movies?

Maher can be a real tone deaf douchebag sometimes. He can’t follow his own goddamn advice.

Pretty lame, Bill. Pretty fucking lame.

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And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

-Douchebag Hall of Famer, 2017 Douchebag of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United StatesDonald Trump, for his recent comments regarding the ongoing California wildfire disaster. All the President had to do is go to California, look at the devastation, and then pledge that the people of California, as Americans, will get everything they need to get their lives back on track. You know, we’re all in this together, that kind of thing. Instead, the President offered up his “expert opinion” on what California needed to do to prevent future fires. Why can’t this guy just do “the right thing” once in his presidency and not make fucking news? Why is he incapable of eventually figuring this out?

-Celebrity lawyer and alleged 2020 Democratic Presidential candidate Michael Avenatti, for his recent arrest for domestic violence and his behavior afterwards. If Avenatti wants me to believe that the charges levied against him are politically motivated and nonsense, he should refrain from saying anything about it beyond “it isn’t true” until he has some actual evidence to share. Otherwise, he looks like yet another “women’s advocate” who beats women. That’s never a good look, and, well, it’s just fucking awful.

–The Ultra-Right Wing Media Machine, for its ongoing fascination with new Congressperson Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She hasn’t even assumed office yet and it seems like she pops up in every right wing conversation, which is just insane. She’s one congressperson in a body of 435. I know that she’s “scary” for some on the right (a brown woman from New York City who admits to being a socialist), but I think it’s time that everyone in the Machine calm down. If you don’t want her ideas to gain traction or her profile to grow stop talking about her. Let her be just one in the crowd. Why is that so hard to do?

-Actor, writer, director, producer, celebrity, and former WCW World Champion David Arquette, for for agreeing to participate in a pro wrestling death match. During the match, Arquette was cut open via shards from a broken light tube and had his head sliced with a pizza cutter. Why would anyone, pro wrestler or not, ever agree to do shit like that? It’s insane and super dangerous. It’s pro wrestling. It’s supposed to look “real,” not be real.

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