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Welcome to Am I Infected

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Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

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Thank you for your understanding
and future support of the best online support service for people living with,
affected by and at risk for HIV.

I would like to extend my appreciation for you guys helping stressed people like me as i will do try to keep this as short as possible.

- am 27-years old / straight male.

4 days ago i was with a sex-worker in her room, we started with protected oral, and i rubbed her Vagina with my hands until she ejaculated as i assume.

the condom was on from the beginning and as we finished the soft-sex i inserted my dick into her vagina, and as i inserted it - i will go into more details now - the condom broke with my dick only the upper part (like the head and a little) were inside and i immediately pulled it out as the expouse were a maximum of 2 seconds.

and then i was shocked like never before, i stopped, i wore my clothes and desperately went home with the fear in my eyes.

for the last 4 days i slept only 8 hours unfortunately the 8 hours was full of mightmares - i cant take it anymore, and i almost visited all the sites on the internet looking for symptoms and unfortunately it took me 4 days to find this site.....

just today i found out while reading the posts here that there is something called PEP in which i started to hit my self badly for not taking it and now its too late as i read its accurate in the first 72 hours only.....

anyways please advice me with the possibility for me to be HIV + assuming the below: - as am taking the worst case scenarios.

1. lets assume she is HIV +2. lets assume that her vagina was full of ejaculation - i read many posts from Mr. Andy Velez saying that the HIV virus is more likely to live up the cavinal in which that part i didn't reach - thanks god.3. lets assume that she was highly Contagious and Infectious at that time.

please evaluate my case as i don't know how i will stay alive from now to 6 weeks ahead until i can test and its reliable. am living the worst moments in my entire life now, stress is killing me...

the worst part is that am allways extra carefull even with the oral sex and this is my first unprotected expose in my entire life. will i end up being positive from a 2 seconds condom broke....

You're more likely to find a winning lottery ticket worth millions outside your front door than you are to end up positive from this very brief unprotected incident. I've yet to see a man end up positive after being the insertive partner with a condom break. And yes, we always assume the other person is hiv positive when we give risk assessments.

We would NOT have recommended PEP in your case, so stop beating yourself up over missing the PEP initiation period.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man. I fully expect you to test negative, but the ONLY way to know for sure is to test at the appropriate time. A six week negative result MUST be confirmed at the three month point when there has actually been a risk.

You did have a risk, but it is very much on the low end of the scale.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Again, I do fully expect you to come out of this ok, but you must test to be certain.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

OK, I do appreciate that you're super-anxious about this incident, but personally I don't think it warranted PEP. And here's why... HIV is a fragile virus. It is significantly more difficult to transmit from female to male than the other way around. You had a single and very brief incident in which for at least some moments you were protected.

Taking all of those elements into consideration it seems most improbable to me that transmission would have taken place.

For future reference, make sure that you are using latex condoms that fit you properly and that are within the suggested date for use.

I do expect when you test you will be negative and come out of this scary experience ok.

the thing that is killing me is that the head of my penis who actually was exposed, and her vagina was full of ejaculation... thats the worst part becouse even 2 seconds is considered to be low risk but still HIV can be transmit in less than a second...

Taking all of those elements into consideration it seems most improbable to me that transmission would have taken place.

Many Thanks for your reply Sir, but would it be also improbable if we considered the below - even if the expose was only 2 seconds and only the upper part of my dick where inside in which i didnt reach the area where the HIV is most likely to live in the vagina:

1. lets assume she is HIV +2. lets assume that her vagina was full of ejaculation 3. lets assume that she was highly Contagious and Infectious at that time.

I already told you that we always assume the other person is hiv positive when we give risk assessments.

2. lets assume that her vagina was full of ejaculation

It doesn't make a difference to our risk assessment in your case.

3. lets assume that she was highly Contagious and Infectious at that time.

Even assuming that she was "highly contagious and infectious" does not change our risk assessment.

As we both told you, hiv is difficult to transmit from a woman to a man. This is because there are only a very few, very specific cell types that hiv can infect. On the penis, these cells are only found inside the urethra and on the part of the foreskin that is hidden when the foreskin is covering the penis.

I had an hiv negative partner for over eight years. For the first eighteen months of our relationship, we never used condoms because we didn't know I was hiv positive. He remains hiv negative to this day. Your brief two second exposure is very, very unlikely to result in you being infected. Seriously. And please do remember that I mentioned that in eight years of posting on this forum, I've never seen the insertive partner end up positive following a condom break. I don't expect you to be the first.

But please do test at the appropriate time. As a sexually active adult you should be testing at least once a year anyway. It's what responsible adults do.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I already told you that we always assume the other person is hiv positive when we give risk assessments.

got it am just stressed.

2. lets assume that her vagina was full of ejaculation

It doesn't make a difference to our risk assessment in your case.

this is the most important part, why it doesn't make a difference? as i have inserted my penis the condom broke and my urethra was being exposed, swimming in her ejaculation.... even the expose was for 2 seconds but still it does not make a difference even if it was for 2 hours as am assuming now that i had some hidden cuts in the urethra in that specific cells area where the HIV get through so 2 seconds wont make a difference right?

I had an hiv negative partner for over eight years. For the first eighteen months of our relationship, we never used condoms because we didn't know I was hiv positive. He remains hiv negative to this day. Your brief two second exposure is very, very unlikely to result in you being infected. Seriously.

you might not have been contagious at that time, with no ejaculation during sex - for mine am assuming her to be contagious with her vagina full of ejaculation, does that make a sense?

And please do remember that I mentioned that in eight years of posting on this forum, I've never seen the insertive partner end up positive following a condom break. I don't expect you to be the first.

some one should be the first ...

But please do test at the appropriate time. As a sexually active adult you should be testing at least once a year anyway. It's what responsible adults do.

i have never tested for STD's as i have never had sex without condoms even oral sex in my entire life, and this is my first time with a sex worker as well; but this is the time where i will do the test, in which am 100% i will end up positive for my case

Ann ur wonderfull, thank you so much - but this is HIV - so thats why am assuming the worst case scenarios. thank you again u dont know how am appreciating your help.

Women don't ejaculate. The lubricating fluid that women produce when sexuallly excited comes from two glands on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

in which am 100% i will end up positive for my case

And I am 99.9999% certain you will test hiv negative.

You do need to test for the other, more easily transmitted STIs because you were at MUCH higher risk for them. Most of them can be tested for ten days to two weeks following an unprotected incident, or sooner if you develop an unusual discharge from your penis or notice any sores on your penis. The one exception is syphilis, which shares a three month window period with hiv.

I really do not expect you to test positive. Please re-read your entire thread until it begins to sink in.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Women don't ejaculate. The lubricating fluid that women produce when sexuallly excited comes from two glands on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

now am fucked up, literally - what i meant in womans ejacualtion is (the wetty water that comes out of her vagina) i read and understand that HIV only can be trasmit from blood and semen for men, which is the lubricating fluid for the woman.

so u have mentioned that it comes out from two glands on either side of the vaginal opening, thats exactly were my urethra been exposed .... how lucky i am....

but why is that the deep part of the vagina is more likely to have HIV as Mr. Andy always says, since it is far away from the two glands on either side of the vaginal that produce fluids???

in which am 100% i will end up positive for my case

And I am 99.9999% certain you will test hiv negative.

fingers crossed, the only thing i can do.

Please re-read your entire thread until it begins to sink in.

what does that mean?

Ann again and again please be paitent with my case, thanks a million, i coudlnt believe that i will end up talking with a very proffesional people like you guys ..... and the information i have gained while browsing every single post in this site is wonderful.

Please read my posts more carefully. I told you that the fluid that comes from the glands on either side of the vaginal opening is no more infectious that sweat, saliva or tears. Sweat, saliva and tears ARE NOT INFECTIOUS.

There is a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix, which is the opening to the womb deep inside the vagina. This where hiv is found because like on a foreskin, there are the correct type of cells present that hiv can infect. These cells aren't found on the opening or the outer part of a woman's genitals.

When I said to re-read your thread until it sinks in, I meant re-read it until you begin to understand that you are unlikely to become infected over this incident.

There's nothing new to tell you. You had a slight risk and we don't expect you to test positive.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

There is a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix, which is the opening to the womb deep inside the vagina. This where hiv is found because like on a foreskin, there are the correct type of cells present that hiv can infect. These cells aren't found on the opening or the outer part of a woman's genitals.

does that mean, my dick has been exposed to the the area in the vagina which is not infectious as the deeper part of it, no matter if there were fluids or not?

When I said to re-read your thread until it sinks in, I meant re-read it until you begin to understand that you are unlikely to become infected over this incident.

i have read every single word of it 100 times its just am so so so so so stressed.

There's nothing new to tell you. You had a slight risk and we don't expect you to test positive.

thank you again i was 100 stressed and now am 95% stessed, like i kinda have a little hope.

does that mean, my dick has been exposed to the the area in the vagina which is not infectious as the deeper part of it, no matter if there were fluids or not?

Yes, that's exactly right.

I suggest you get your mind off hiv by becoming productively busy with the regular things in your life. Stay off hiv websites as they will only fuel your fear and keep your mind concentrated on hiv. The time you have to wait until you can test will go so much quicker if you are busy with other things.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

while i was driving today in my way to the office i found a clinic, a doctor that is specialized in STD's, so i went there and i told him my case, and i felt really bad after seeing him, he told me that HIV can only be transmit from woman's orgasim and womans blood only, and the wet fluid that is in the vagina is most likely not capable to do the transmission ...... and again he told me that even if it was 2 seconds and if the head of ur dick touched her orgazim then the risk is high ......

so i configured it in my mind that why its hard for a guy to get HIV from a woman like u always says 1:1000 - because simply in most cases they dont orgazim during the intercourse.... but in my case there were orgazim .......

why does that happen to me .... am now thinking how to kill myself, like am not lucky at all....am living a miserable life ... i took a 2 weeks vacation from work because i cant talk to anyone at the moment, the only thing am doing now is getting drunk, vomiting and hurting myself... the worst part is that my wedding in June ..... thanks god that my GF is out of the country for her not seeing me in this miserable situation....

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Again, where hiv transmission is concerned, it doesn't matter if the woman has an orgasm or not.

hi again, sorry but this question is in my mind - as u mentioned when hiv transmission is concerned, it doesn't matter if the woman has an orgasm or not - then why on the other way around if the guy cummed in a girl then the risk is high for the girl - this is just for my information - and if he didnt cum then the risk is low? isnt it the same for the other way around when the girls orgazm?

i know that ur frustrated from my questions but again am very sorry ....

Women do not ejaculate fluids when they cum. It's purely muscular contractions. Men, on the other hand, do ejaculate fluids when they cum and this fluid does contain hiv. Men's pre-cum also contains hiv, so he doesn't necessarily have to cum in order to infect someone - provided of course that he's hiv positive to begin with.

The bottom line here is that yes, you had a risk but it is a risk on the low end of the scale. While you should test at the appropriate time, we do expect you to test negative.

Re-read your entire thread. There's nothing more to tell you and our answers are not going to change. We're not here to hold your hand during your window period. If you need emotional/mental health support, then you need to see a counselor or therapist face-to-face. We cannot provide that level of support here. This forum is for risk assessment and testing advice only and you've received both.

If you keep up with this excessive posting, I'll give you a week or so time out in order to encourage you to get busy with other things - and get yourself some counseling - while you wait to test.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

The only time a weak immune system comes into the hiv picture is when testing for hiv. However, the immune system has to be VERY weak for it to affect the tests. Unless you are on chemotherapy for cancer, anti-rejection drugs following organ transplant, or have been injecting street drugs, every day, for YEARS, then you don't need to worry about it.

As Rodney says, a three month test is conclusive and you do NOT need to test at six months.

I agree with your statements one through four. The only wrong one is the comment about six months.

I still fully expect you to test negative at both your six week and three month tests.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts