Weezer has called it quits. Fans are encouraged to trash their last three albums pretend this announcement actually came in 1997.

The reverend at Ken Lay’s funeral compared the former Enron CEO to Jesus and Martin Luther King Jr. Okay, so let’s see; they’re all dead, and… you know what, that’s the only similarity I can think of.

During a show in Hollywood, Bon Jovi told guitarist Richie Sambora to “sign a prenup” next time. Yeah, the poor guy needs to stop attaching himself to poor, struggling women like Heather Locklear and Denise Richards.

Zinedine Zidane headbutted Italian defender Marco Materazzi during the World Cup final because Marco insulted his mother and sister. Coincidentally, this is the same reason Zidane was never able to cut it on Yo Mamma.

The banker on Deal Or No Deal is a shady character. You never see him, never hear him, never know what’s going on in his little banker head. He just lurks in the shadows and occasionally blogs… but that’s it.

Well, the folks over at Collegehumor may have discovered the true identity of the banker– it’s Pat O’Brien! Now we finally know what’s actually going on during those drawn out phone calls to Howie Mandel. It all kind of makes sense now…
Watch it here! (audio NSFW)

It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, July 12th! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including Rock Star: Supernova, America’s Got Talent, and Project Runway!
Featuring music by The Vitamen and The Station Myth.

MASTURBATORY COMIC BOOK TRAILER: I don’t know that this trailer is the direction Sony wants to take their prized Spiderman franchise into, especially after the lukewarm reaction to “Gay Superman”. (Junkiness, slightly NSFW)

It’s one thing for an aspiring hip hop artist to emulate R. Kelly’s career, but DJ Boyd seems to have taken that admiration just a bit too far. You probably don’t even remember who DJ Boyd is, and you shouldn’t, so here’s a quick refresher – after making it to the “Top 70″ on the 5th season of American Idol, Boyd was dismissed and joined the ranks of rejects deemed unworthy of competing against the likes of Clay Aiken. But back home in Utah, Boyd held onto his dreams of musical stardom – he signed to “Big Fedi” records, released an album you’ve probably never heard, and constantly reminded people that he was once on TV for a few moments. Nothing too impressive, unless of course you’re two teenage girls who he has just filled with booze, in which case you might have found him attractive enough to have sex with, even allowing him to videotape the encounter. But when that Smirnoff Ice buzz finally wore off and you woke up hungover with the realization that you’d just slept with some J-list reality show failure, you might have regretted your decision so much that you called the police and reported to what this 27 year-old sleazebag did to you and your friend (who happens to be 15, a year older than yourself), resulting in his arrest and a possible judgement much harsher than even the nastiest thing Simon Cowell could have said to him. As the local court justices he’s now facing probably won’t be nearly as drunk as Paula Abdul, this wannabe Idol could be in some serious trouble.

A while back we asked some filmmakers to put together interestingBest Week Ever promos. Anything goes. Here’s what the folks over at Hungryman came up with: Timothy- a man who truly is having the Best Week Ever.

Lindsayism pointed me to this “on the street” footage of Entourage star Adrian Grenier getting accosted interviewed by The T-Bird Show (who, ironically, happens to be my upstairs neighbor) while he was chillaxing in Williamsburg, Brooklyn this past 4th of July weekend. Check it out – and be sure to listen for his hipster boasting about “being in Williamsburg before Williamsburg was Williamsburg” (which sounds like something he read on a t-shirt at Urban Outfitters)!

You know, writing day in and day out about all the dumb stuff that celebrities do can be a pretty daunting task. Sure, it’s easier to make snarky jokes about famous people who do foolish things, but sometimes I find myself wishing that just once I could report some news about a celeb who has actually done something right for a change. And lo and behold, while her peers are all out partying and prostituting themselves, young Mischa Barton has made the incredibly wise decision to use her post-OC hiatus to (imagine this) learn how to act! Even though being a famous actress these days only requires an eating disorder, a drinking problem, nymphomania and the willingness to be constantly photographed in public, Mischa is actually taking the time to learn the craft of her trade, which means that while Lohan is blowing Paul Walker while he races a tricked-out Honda through The Faster and Furiouser 4, Mischa could be enjoying the kind of success reserved only for the serious “indie” actresses of her generation – like getting to blow Vincent Gallo.