Parents, social media is mandatory for you

I have come across too many adults who smugly smile as they brag that they have successfully avoided Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or other social media. My mother has even bragged that she used to have an iPhone but has gone back to her old flip phone. Not being connected should not be a source of pride, especially if you have children.

The child living under your roof may be a part of the bullying scene. He may be the aggressor, the proxy, the victim or perhaps all three. Bullying is no longer about slipping notes to each other behind the teacher’s back and pushing people in the hallway. That’s so ’90s. No, it’s a deep, constant undercurrent that is on 24/7 and happening right in front of you. After all, half of all teens claim to have been a victim of cyberbullying.

Let me let you in on a secret. My students deliberately seek out and navigate websites and apps that they know you don’t know how to use. If too many adults begin logging in and asking too many questions, it quickly loses its cool.

You may feel you’re too old, and that Twitter is a useless stream of status updates. But it’s time to embrace that which many consider juvenile.

As a high school teacher, I ride the tech wave and know what’s in before it hits the media. I have to stay on my toes and navigate social media, blogs, Listservs and online communities that aren’t in my comfort zone. But it is worth it when a child brings up a seemingly harmless app and I can quickly warn them of the dangers.

A photo sharing app such as Snapchat seems innocent until you learn its dark underbelly of sexting and easy, subversive cheating that doesn’t leave an electronic trail. Ask.fm seems innocent enough — a place for people to ask questions and get answers. Ha. Do a Google search on “Ask.fm bullying” and you will find there’s an active community where kids can maintain anonymity while saying whatever they want to whoever they want.

“No, not my kid.” Look around you as tragedies unfurl around us related to cyberbullying. A 12-year-old jumps off a tower. Kids taken into custody and charged with aggravated stalking. A quick Google search of cyberbullying deaths brings a barrage of depressing stories and photos of children in their prime. A seemingly innocent TBH (to be honest) tag becomes hateful when the comments go from “TBH you’re my best friend” to “TBH my mom makes me hang out with you.” or “TBH no one would notice if you died.”

Twitter. 4chan. Instagram. Snapchat. Kik. Facebook. Vine. Tumblr. YouTube. Flickr. Voxer. This is not an exhaustive list — technology is malleable. What is in now may be lame two weeks from now. The solution is not to take technology away. Trust me, they will access it no matter what you do. The solution is to embrace the technology that your kids use.

Have an open dialogue. Be ready to and have the ability to shut it down, if necessary. Your constant vigilance will give you the ability to save your children from themselves.

Get informed. Log on, attend a cyberbullying seminar, learn the basics, verbiage and acronyms. You will not regret this. You may even save a life.

Korinna Kirchhoff of Frisco is a special-education math teacher at Wakeland High School and a Teacher Voices volunteer columnist. Her email address is korinna.kirchhoff@gmail.com.

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