This morning it is my great pleasure and honor to give a great big Joyce’s Take happy birthday shout out to one of my very favorite actresses, comedians, and singer/songwriter/performers, half of the mega group Garfunkel and Oates (I’m not sure which one she is, Garfunkel or Oates... no one knows... it might not even matter (Riki’s Garfunkel, Kate is, uuhhh, let’s see... Oates)), the lovely and incomparable Ms. Riki Lindhome (pronounced: Lind-Home).

My very own mother used to call me Riki when she was alive, except she pronounced it Ricky. My sister still does.

Erika "Riki" Lindhome was born at a very, very early age, as a tiny female infant, in 1979 (which makes her, uuhhh, 29 years old today) in Cooter Sport, Pennsylvania... what’s that Herkimer? It’s Coudersport, Pennsylvania. Not Cooter Sport? Oh my word, are you sure? Alright then, yes that does make a tremendous amount of difference, now doesn’t it. Sorry about that.

It’s interesting how so much misinformation is propagated on the Internet. You see the biographical info on Wikipedia’s Garfunkel and Oates page puts Riki’s birth place in Portville, New York (42.0372° N, 78.3367° W), which is just a horrible place. It’s like the ninth circle of

Hell really. Now she may have moved to New York, attending Portville Central School (Pride Creates Success), graduating as the class Salutatorian in 1997. That’s extremely possible. However, I believe Riki once referenced to Pennsylvania as where she came from, and Cooter Sport’s own Wikipedia page states Riki was born there, so would they lie? No, of course not. And they must be very proud of Riki and her accomplishments to have included her... aside from the “Fuck Me in the Ass Because I love Jesus,” song. Or maybe because of it, who knows? I certainly don’t.

Coudersport (41° 46′ 26″ N, 78° 1′ 7″ W, 41.773889, -78.018611) then, as most know was the very town Eliot Ness (who looked at lot like Kevin Costner), the American prohibition agent, and leader of the Untouchables (a group of eleven U.S. federal law enforcement agents, who from 1929 to 1931 worked to end Al Capone's illegal activities by pro-actively enforcing Prohibition laws against him and his organization, the name referring to the supposition that these men could not be bribed or corrupted) lived in when he keeled over after suffering a massive heart attack on May 16th, 1957, at the age of 54. Either that, or he was poisoned with polonium, we’re not sure which... probably the heart attack.

It is also of course the home of a Scottish Rite Consistory, with over 5000 members. The Scottish rite’s being one of the appendant bodies of Freemasonry, Freemasonry being a fraternal organization that traces its origins to the local fraternities of stonemasons, which from the end of the fourteenth century regulated the qualifications of masons and their interaction with authorities and clients and who are bent on world domination.

You may not believe this but Riki is of Swedish descent. Not much else is known of her formative years, except that she and her family (I assume that she took her family along with her) moved around a lot when she was a child.

We do know that Riki attended Music Camp (not to be confused with Band Camp) when she was 8 years old and in the 5th grade. We know that she was very popular and already had a boyfriend (this would be trend which would continue off and on through out her life... up to very present. At the time of the Amoeba Incident, for instance, she apparently was dating someone named ”Reed.” So the urge to mate is certainly manifest gentlemen... why I’d be after her myself if she were a little younger) named Dante, who may or may not have authored “The Divine Comedy, ” a book of some significance... but most likely not.

“I think I might be allergic to crushes. Whenever I have one, I feel gross, go to bed and when I wake up it's gone.”

There she met a young Kate Micucci (pronounced: My-Coochie), who we will celebrate later this month! How exciting!

Kate was not as popular as Riki, and she cried a lot. We also know she had been playing the piano for a number of years, and would soon be learning how to play the trombone, later becoming a ukulele, kazoo, helicon tuba, and Erhu virtuoso.

She reminds me of my first wife, Michelle, who had the unique ability to play the piano and trumpet, while juggling three bowling balls, all at the same time. Not an easy feat, I assure you.

We know that Riki plays the guitar, kazoo, castanets, flute and the 164 string Sitka spruce Chrysalis. Possibly other instruments as well.

At the appropriate time Riki attended Syracuse University, which is in New York. While there she displayed an early flair for comedy by joining the sketch group "Syracuse Live."

“Next time I pee in the shower, I'm gonna double check that no one's about to join me.”

Yes.

After graduating from SU in 2000, she decided to pursue an acting career, and came out to Los Angeles, where I live, and where the entertainment industry is supposedly centralized. Without an agent, she was able to secure the lead female role in the 12 (some say 18) minute short film, “Backseat detour,” in 2001, her very first professional acting job. I don’t know if she got paid for it, but it was her first job. The film was about a college freshman, Catie who finds herself trapped in the back seat of her parents’ station wagon on the way to Thanksgiving dinner, a “tale of family dysfunction at the holiday season.”

Well I’m sure most people can relate to that.

In 2002 she appeared on an episode of Christopher Titus’s “Titus.” Riki played Charlie, a girl who jilted her female lover Amy, who then turned suicidal, in the episode entitled "Errrr."

I’m sure a lot of people can relate to that as well.

She got a part on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” the T.V. show, (not the film which had the real Buffy, our friend Kristy Swanson in it), on an episode entitled “Him," which aired November 5th of 2002, playing Cheryl, a cheerleader who is just one of many girls who fall madly (madly) in love with some football player who wears an a jacket that acts as an aphrodisiac.

Again... most people I think can re... ahhh, skip it.

In 2003 Riki got her first big break, when anti-war activist and Academy Award winning actor, Tim Robbins asked her to appear in the stage production of “Embedded,” a play he wrote, directed, and starred in, the over achieving bastard. The play “chronicles the war in Iraq through satire and commedia dell'arte masks. It also pokes fun at neo-conservatives such as Karl Rove, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld.” It was produced by Robbin’s 's Actor's Gang theater group, and Riki played a character named Gondola, and Journalist. Gondola represented former Secretary of State and war criminal, Condoleezza Rice. Riki got the role, in part, because of her close resemblance to Condi.

Riki spent a year and a half with the play, and traveled all over the place. But, you know, you can get awfully tired doing the same thing 8 times a week for a year and a half, and says she likes performing in Garfunkel and Oates more because she can “do what we want.”

I wholeheartedly agree.

Between 2002 and 2006 she had a recurring role on 5 episodes of the television show, "Gilmore Girls," which starred the lovely and talented Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel. She played a classmate of Alexis named Juliet.

In 2004, Riki among with 3 other actors from “Embedded,” got parts in Clint “Shoot E’m in the Back” Eastwood’s “Million Dollar Baby,” which also starred Clint, Morgan Freeman, and Hilary Swank in an Academy Award winning performance. The film itself won the Academy Award for Best Picture, in large part, I believe, due to Riki’s contribution, playing Hilary’s opportunistic and baby clad sister, Mardell.

See how easy it is to make it in Hollywood ladies. Just come on out and start working... you don’t even need an agent!

Using all the mediums at her disposal, Riki has appeared in a few commercials I’m told, though I don’t recall seeing her in any, I’m sure the rumor is true. I believe she’s tried to sell us on McDonald's McGriddle, a tasty breakfast sandwich consisting of mouth watering and nutritious bacon, egg and American cheese served on a small pancake made with maple flavoring guck. Both the top and bottom griddle cakes are embossed with the McDonald's logo.

How fun!

Those commercials first aired in March of 2005. She’s also attempted to sell us on the GM Saturn automobile (which is a car I actually like, and would be proud as punch to drive if I drove, but I don’t), and nutritious Miller beer, which everyone knows, tastes like tap water that’s been fracked.

Good try though Riki!

“Why’s she called the Little Mermaid. She’s like a full grown mermaid, right?”

She is a full grown mermaid, Riki. I don’t know why they call her that. As Geoffrey Rush said in “Shakespeare in Love,” it’s a mystery.

Riki would quit fooling around and get busy in 2006.

She maxed out 5 new credit cards and produced a 3 part short film entitled, “Life is Short” (which can be seen, here, here, and here), which she wrote, and co-directed along with some guy who looks like one of the dwarves from “The Hobbit" films, Dori Oskowitz. The films stars Samm Levine (who would later instruct both Riki and Kate in the delicate art of the “hand job” while sitting on Riki’s couch, which can be seen right here. Kate has recently assured us that ”We’are really good at giving hand jobs now,” which of course is good to know), the lovely and talented Kim Director (the healthy bank robber from “Inside Man”), Alexis Bledel, and “Family Guy’s” Seth MacFarlane, as the evil Dr. Ned (Seth, I’m happy to say, is also the executive producer of the upcoming series “Cosmos: A Space-Time Odyssey,” which begins this Sunday, at 9:00PM, unfortunately on Fox. It seems Seth has an interest in science. Great job Seth!)

“My porn name would be Kissimmee St. Cloud.”

Okay, Riki, okay.

2006 also saw her appearing as a car rental lady in the T.V. show “Heros,” and washing clothes with Christina Milian in the horror film “Pulse.”

In 2007 she was on one of my new favorite television shows that have been canceled, “Pushing Daisies,” which stars the lovely Anna Friel (who is British, but sounds absolutely bewitching with an American accent), and the bewitching Kristin Chenoweth. Riki played Jeanine, who handed out daisies while dressed as a dandelion, while working for Dandy Lion Worldwide Industries, which had developed a car the ran on dandelions. She also bagged Chi McBride’s last piece of pie by using various adorable facial expressions.

I know this to be true as I recently saw the episode, which was entitled, “Dummy,” by the way, and which happened to be the 2nd episode of the shows first of two seasons, and directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, of “The Addams Family” and Men in Black” films.

My reaction to her performance was such that I felt the need to leave this message on her Facebook page: “Just saw you on ‘Pushing Daisies.’ You were so cute I had to throw up.”

High praise indeed.

That year she also appeared briefly in Nickelback’s music video “Rockstar” (which can be seen, here), appearing as a bikini clad girl on a beach, lip sinking the words “they'll get you anything with that evil smile,” while smiling.

Now I don’t usually listen to bands that appeared after Led Zeppelin and Jethro Tull, because they are of little consequence (except for Venus Hum and Sophie B Hawkins). I still maintain that the band Arrowsmith is a brash upstart ripoff of Zeppelin. Yet I really enjoyed this song, and Riki’s appearance made it that more worth watching and listening to.

Yes, I know. I need to get out more.

Her brother, Tim Lindhome has been the drummer for the band, Navar.

Let’s see, what else happened in 2007? Oh yeah, she met this girl named Kate.

The two met at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, here in L.A., where they were introduced to one another by the comic Doug Benson.

They discovered they each played instruments and wrote music. In 2009, they collaborated in the short film “Imaginary Larry,” written and directed by Riki and that dwarf guy, and starring Riki, Kate, Malcolm Barrett, Ryan Devlin, and Christopher Stewart, and can be seen right here.

And from this fortuitous meeting and collaboration, Garfunkel and Oates emerged, and the rest is history... which I will recount.

Garfunkel and Oates is named after two famous pop music "sidekicks," Art Garfunkel (of Simon and Garfunkel) and John Oates (of Hall and Oates). The hit song “Fuck You,” came out of “Imaginary Larry,” and was their first Internet hit, and can be seen in it’s entirety right here.

“Described by the Wall Street Journal as the "Female Flight of the Conchords," Garfunkel and Oates are the funniest all-girl musical comedy team working today. Unlike some other musical comedy duos, Micucci and Lindhome aren't limited by a concept or shtick -- their funny, catchy songs work as extended jokes on a number of observational topics, ranging from the self-superiority of pregnant women to the lame arguments of same-sex marriage opponents. They start with a clever, original idea for a joke and expand it outward through song.” -Patrick Bromley, reporter with the Sun-Times News Group and DVD critic.

Kate maintains that the two of them are very different, she and Riki, contrary to public perception. I know this for a fact. For example, Riki is adorned with long, lustrous blonde hair. Kate’s hair is dark, lustrous and short. How much more different can you get then that?!

As a female musical-comedy duo, Garfunkel and Oates joins the ranks of ... Laverne and Shirley?! Lucy and Ethel? Possibly, though they didn’t do a whole lot of singing. Thelma and Louise? No.

Hand job addict Samm Levine, suggested the British comedic duo Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders. He can be seen suggesting that in this nice two hour clip of Kevin Pollock’s Chat Show, which features Kate and Riki, and can be seen right here.

Kevin Pollock? Yeah, the actor and comedian... the buzz kill lawyer from “A Few Good Men.”

Garfunkel and Oates became an Internet sensation, (Riki at first had put their videos on You Tube without telling Kate) and began performing live in August of 2009 in Seattle. They’ve turned into highly demanded international superstars (Kate couldn’t believe that the audiences in Australia knew their songs, forgetting they’re Internet sensations).

“I keep trying to talk but no one can hear me over the sound of my uterus.”

Okay.

I want all of you to know that Riki is not just a beautiful and talented actress, and writer, and director, and singer, and song writer, and musician, and performer, oh no, she’s multi-talented as well, and also likes miniature golf on occasion... and is very civic minded, as this Public Service Announcement demonstrates, which can be seen here.

One year after they began performing the entertainment-trade magazine Variety named Garfunkel and Oates as one of the Top 10 Comics to Watch in 2010... which is pretty cool. Riki attributes their quick rise to fame, in part, to their gender, there being what can be considered a “dearth” of female musical-comedic duos, which gives them an edge on all of those male musical-comedic duos.

Even though Riki is very busy with Garfunkel and Oates, she has not let her acting career languish... oh hell no!

In 2008 she was in the film “My Best Friend's Girl,” which also stars Kate Hudson and Dane Cook in minor roles. This is the film in which I first became aware of Riki. The first time I ever saw her. She played a vulnerable single girl looking for a sincere relationship, and she did it so well... well, I kind of fell in love with her (platonically of course), right then and there.

She was just so sweet and innocent in that film, when in actuality we all know what a trashy whore she is (and I say that with love (platonic of course)), which is a testament to her astounding acting abilities.

So I found out who she was, and have followed her career ever since.

“Eating bananas in public is so embarrassing. I should have done it before I left the house.”

I have the same problem with Kiwi!

That year she did Clint Eastwood another favor and starred in “Changeling,” with Brad Pitt’s wife.

Now I just saw this film a couple of nights ago while I was working away on my computer like a fiendish devil, after having not seen it for many years. It was on FXM, the Fox Movie Channel. And as I watched I said to myself, “That nurse sure looks a lot like Riki Lindhome.”

By golly! It was Riki Lindhome! There’s a picture of her having friendly chat with Angelina Jolie above.

There’s also a picture of her on “The Big Bang Theory,” above, from 2008.

I’ll have to watch that show sometime.

In 2009 Riki amazed us yet again, playing against her sweet nature as one of the villains in a remake of “The Last House on the Left.”

She frightened me.

I’m still frightened.

“I want to write a love song called ‘The One That I Got Away From.’”

Okay, I feel better now.

She was in “Powder Blue,” with Forest Whitaker, Patrick Swayze (making his last appearance on film), Ray Liotta, Lisa Kudrow, Kris Kristofferson, and Jessica Biel.

In 2012 she tried out that Shakespeare dude in a “modern remake” of “Much Ado About Nothing.”

Riki was in last year’s “Hell Baby,” which is like my new favorite film of all time! (screw “Citizen Kane!”) I don’t know why it’s my new favorite, but I have certain scene’s on my computer’s speed dial.

By the way, here is a link to Riki’s official website, and Garfunkel and Oates website can be found right here.

Alright, I know all of my readers want to know about what has been referred to as the Amoeba Incident, or if you prefer, the Incident at Amoeba.

Amoeba Records in Hollywood is a wonderful store where one can find all kinds of musical stuff. Old fashioned records, DVDs, CDs, books, posters. They claim to be the world’s largest independent Record Store. I’ve been there myself!

Now what they might not know, after buying all of that stuff, is that they could have got it all for free, everything they had, by downloading it from the Internet, utilizing a few simple techniques... that I sometimes may or may not use.

Think of the money they could have saved!

Now I’m not saying that I have ever, ever done that... just that it’s possible, that’s all.

Of course I’ve never done that... it may be illegal.

Forget I mentioned it.

Okay, we’ll finish up with this:

In 2011 Riki co-wrote a Glee-themed parody of Snoop Dogg's “Nuthin' But a G Thang,” (I actually know who Snoop Dogg is from his pistachio commercials) called “Nuthin' But a Glee Thang,” in which we get to see “Modern Family’s” Sofía Vergara say a bad word, and which can be seen here.

Finally, I have to say that of all of the birthday tributes I’ve researched and written this was one of the most pleasurable and satisfying, mainly due no doubt to the fun loving, exquisite nature of the subject.

And it goes without saying that all of us here at Joyce’s Take (me and my invisible cat Herkimer) wish Riki continued good health and fortune, and a very happy birthday!

About Me

Richard Ruprecht Joyce is a writer of political and social commentary and satire, screenwriter, and the author of two memoirs, "Salvation Diary," and "Skid Row Diary," the first two in his famous "Diary Trilogy," the last of which, "Help, I'm Dying Diary," has not been written yet.