Which is better, Jenny Craig or those other diets? Well the tests are in, and the answer is: Jenny Craig. The longer answer is, get off that "Cookie n Lard" diet.

Paul Pierce has lots of things to say about how to work out. Hey Paul Pierce, do you have a "Celtics suck" workout? No? I know who does, though: The Knicks. Not this year though. But Celtics do suck though. Even if the Knicks do too. Shut up Paul Pierce. Celtics are so wack.

The NFL is having big time labor troubles so the players are now having workouts led by the players themselves. How is that going? "A disaster." Well, don't let the punter lead the workout! Cause punters are the weakest football players. (Except for their legs, so they can lead the leg workouts, but not the remainder of the workouts, would be my suggestion.) Let's not discriminate against punters though, this is a team.

What is the biggest risk factor for early death in this day and age? Being a man. Specifically, being a man that the commander-in-chief's wife has a secret crush on. But hey; that's just part of being a man. I don't sweat it. (Or do I?)