A Very Brady Chair Cushion

By Ann Shayne 7/28/06

Dear Kay,
Yesterday a random boy came up to me and said, “Wanna see my bug?” He reached into a tiny paper bag and pulled out, by a lacy wing, the hugest dead cicada I’d ever seen. Big old meaty bug. Goodgriefboydontshowmestufflikethat is what I wanted to say, but instead I told him it was a fine bug and asked what he was going to do with it. “Keep it,” he said.
It’s buggy up here, I tell you.
Sister Buffy arrived on Saturday with her two children for a two-week deployment, so things have been kind of busy around here. I can’t really tell you what we’ve been doing exactly, but generally, it has to do with feeding, talking, sitting, keeping her scrapbooking on schedule, making sure there’s enough badminton happening, and trying to not be in my PJs after ten o’clock in the morning.
I paid Buffy fifty cents to get rid of a cricket in the kitchen. I used to pay her when we were growing up to kill crickets, because our house had a never-ending population of big brown gross ones that didn’t look like Jiminy Cricket; they looked like pirates of the Caribbean. I’d like to say she humanely ushered it outside, but we subscribe to the belief that a bug outside is a sacred beautiful cog in the wheel of nature’s elegant machine and proof that there’s order in the universe, while a bug inside is the ENEMY. She dropped the current issue of Real Simple magazine on it. “That was real simple,” she said.
Anyway, we went to Nashville last weekend, and I honestly can’t believe I did this, but I went directly to the yarn shop in search of yarn for making rocking chair cushions. It’s sick, I tell you. Just ill. I have all sorts of projects half baked this summer, but ever since I finished painting those chairs, I have been consumed with thoughts of chair cushions. I wanted them to be quick knits, which would require chunky yarn, which was absent from the porta-stash I brought up here to the Mountain. That’s how I ended up going to the yarn shop when I really had no business doing such a thing.
I had in mind a felted chair cushion, one that would have maybe some simple stitching on it that would felt into a blurry, pretty decorative element. All those beautiful Noni bags are so great–and that famous Nicky Epstein bag with all the trailing vegetation. Lurvly! I do not seem able to carry a felted bag as my purse, so at least I could enter the decorative felted world by adapting some of those ideas on a cushion. And the more you bottom-felted them, the blurrier and softer the decoration would be.
The more I pondered this, the more it was clear that a summertime screened porch rocking chair cushion would just be miserable if it were wool. Bleh! Hot! Itchy! Cotton or linen are the only real options. But chunky cotton? Hard to find. Chunky linen? Maybe. But the shop didn’t have the zippy shades I was seeking to make these cushions the cheerful mini-fiestas I was craving. After all, I have a world of cream-colored chairs to overcome. These cushions had to be a picante sauce.
I ended up standing, as you often do, in front of the Cotton Classic. The wall of cheer, really. If I doubled the Cotton Classic, I would have access to that wondrous rainbow of colors. I left with a bag of happy yarn, and commenced to swatching.
With felting out of the question, I immediately turned to the Big Dotty pattern that I used for the piano bench cushion that’s in the book. I’ve always wanted to try it larger, in bright colors. Here’s what came of that, with doubled Cotton Classic on a size 10 needle:
Very Laugh-In. One of the things I’ve noticed in these cottages here in at the Monteagle Assembly is that you can instantly tell when a house had its last bit of decorating done. There’s a lot of sheet vinyl kitchen flooring in that avocado and gold Moorish tile pattern. You see chairs with 1960s florals, crewelwork pillows from Erica Wilson’s glory days in the ’70s, and plenty of giant armchairs from the ’80s now slipcovered to disguise their sins. I hope, 20 years from now, people will mistake this cushion for a project from 1968.
More on the construction of this cushion later. Here’s what I’ve got so far, a quick two nights’ worth of knitting, which included–o rare treat—an episode of the new season of Project Runway.
I think I like it as much or more on the dark chairs, the ones that wisely evaded my paintbrush:
One profound truth so far: these big needles make knitting a snipsnap piece of CAKE! Why didn’t you tell me about these before?
Love,
Ann

I don’t think you should abandon wool so quickly. It could be a great experiment! Would it really be itchy? Would shorts help mitigate itchiness? Would wool absorb perspiration and wick it away from the sitter?

Lookin’ good! I’m having all sorts of Kanuga flashbacks when I see your pix. I came downstairs last night to find the kitties peering intently at a cicada on the other side of the fireplace screen ~ I hope it found its way back up the chimney! XXO

Ann,
Love the cushions! The colors are lovely. I just got back from standing in front of the wall of cotton at my LYS it is my favorite place in the store LOL! My youngest son loves to wind the yarn so he is always happy when I buy cotton 🙂

the green is nice on both chairs but it really pops against the dark chair background. can’t wait to see the finished object! and can you believe the results of the latest project runway? what did you think of it?

Your cushions look great. I love the colours.
Good choice on the cotton. You want to be able to wash the things that people sit on when they are up at a cabin.
Moths aren’t going to go after those when you are gone either.

Love the green cushion experiment…but in the interest of thorough research I should mention that there is a bulky linen-cotton blend you may want to check out: Reynold’s Morocco. My own experiment with it was mixed (it was a shock to see how closely I resembled the Michelin Man when wearing anything made of bulky yarn). But a cushion is another story…

Bugs rock. Well, some of them do. Cicadas are fun because they’re a devil to catch and very neat looking critters. It’s even gotten hot enough here in Maine for them to start singing, though nothing like the massive choirs of ’em in the South.

I agree with the organge comment. It’s exactly what I was thinking. No way to confuse them with the 60’s with out that stinking burnt orange color or possibly some ‘gag me gold’. My mom decorated the whole house in Spanish red and black distressed wood. Then she switched over to the gag me gold. These greens (especially the bluish one) don’t have that same LSD flashback effect. They look very inviting. In other words, I think you have good taste. My mom? God rest her soul, never did.

I love the cushions. The colors really go with the chairs. The give it the country cottage look. Living in NC near the beach my house is done in a country cottage type with a little victorian thown in and I have alot of country green and looking at them gave me a wonderful idea for some chairs around a table in my house that I have been dying to do something with and you have inspired a new knitter to think outside the box and try something very new. Thanks again and I love this website and the input of everyone on it. And I especially love the book. Thanks again everyone. Look for me again because I will be back often.

Ann – The chair cover looks so pretty! I think that will be very nice for a summer sit. . .
Props to you for the nod to Project Runway! I just love that show! Aren’t you so tired of Vincent & Angela? Who’s going to get the boot early this week? Suspense! Drama! Fashion! Oh my!

Sha-ZAHM!
Love it.
Agree with others that as long as you maintain one hue-family per cushion (I’m looking forward to something orange/magenta/red, right?), they’ll look suspiciously more like “vintage sensibility” than “For real, these cushions are so old that they’re probably unusable”
Excited by the idea of Reynolds Morocco (chunky linen/cotton? Could things get better?) but it’s been discontinued.
Please continue to keep us informed on cushion growth and possible heavy weight cellose yarns (cotton, linen, etc.).
Thank you, over and out.
-Amber

Velcro. It will hold tight against all of the wiggling behinds that plant themselves on your beautiful cushion. Love the button idea (in match-y buttons, though) but I think the buttonhole yarnovers would stretch out over time and they’d be forever coming undone. So how many cushions x 14 skeins will you be making? 🙂