The BarristerUgh, I got sick last night due to something I ate, have since resigned myself to taking the day off, and this past weekend my beloved Liverpool looked as if they had caught some sort of bug themselves. A bug that makes it appear as if they're stuck being controlled by an increasingly drunk and button-mashing Scizz in a game of FIFA. They were that fucking bad.

So, needless, I don't really feel like doing this today. I'll make up for it by putting together something on the Sabres later today, so long as my gastrointestinal tract decides to chill the fuck out, but until then, check out my possibly disinterested recaps of the footy action after the jump. Or, don't. You probably came here for Bills news/swearing diatribes anyway. Guess what? They're losing this weekend. We all need to accept that. Oh, and @davekellynyc returns to provide his recap of the Liverpool/Tottenham match as well, though he appears to have written it after watching some weird Japanese porn. Seriously, dude, you may have problems.