subscribe

Pages

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I know bakers get odd requests from time to time. Inside jokes, nicknames, stuff that makes no sense - they see it all. Still, you'd think there comes a point when a baker looks at a scrawled order form and asks herself, "Gee, is it more likely they wanted 'happy BIRTHDAY,' or 'happy BAIRTH?'"

Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Jim," you're thinking, because you've once again forgotten my name and now apparently my gender as well, "Jim, don't be so gosh durn silly." (You're also from the South.) "'Bairth' isn't even a word! So obviously NO baker would EVER...uh..."

[raised eyebrows] You were saying?

Or how about this: you get a cake order for a little girl. She wants a bunch of little chocolate mice on the border, all surrounding one big...huh...is that 'mouse' written there? It kind of looks like 'mouse.' Definitely M-O-U-something. So, do you assume mouse? Or do you go with this?

Niiiice.

Now you're thinking that this would never happen to you. "I'd write the order clearly!" you yell to the heavens. (Two words, dude: less coffee.) "Then I'd tape Post-it Notes to the order form showing them exactly where I want the text, so there's no WAY they can wreck it up!! Haha!"

Not bad, not bad. Sounds like a good plan.

Except...

What if they take your handy-dandy Post-its, copy them, and then paste them on the cake?

Aha! I see from your stunned expression that thought hadn't struck you yet.

Brace for impact.

That's Wreckerator: 3, Customer: 0.

Well played, Wreckerators. Well played.

Anna H., Helen, & Janice H., you might try asking for a Wreck. I've seen several of those wrecked into being a pretty decent-looking (and correctly spelled!) cake. It's like a wreck to the second power!Totally meta.

Now I know where all those lazy kids who drop out of high school are going!!! Someone is recruiting them to decorate cakes!"Let me see: you dropped out of school in 8th grade, never learned to spell anything after 4th grade, can't follow directions, and read on a 2nd grade level? Wonderful! You're just what we need! You're hired!"

Actually, that mouth cake is kinda cool. Strange, twisted, and weird. But cool.

The mouth/mouse was actually very well done! beautiful handwriting too, and spelled correctly. but what was going through the wreckerators mind? wouldn't it make sense for little baby mice to be going around a big (mommy) mouse? that mouth took a lot of time and skill. what was her logic in mice around a mouth? as if it's going to eat them!

THIS is a CLASSIC :)

and scanning the post it notes instead of writing on the cake...*faceslap*

The first cake is ugly beyond belief. Not only is it misspelled, the pink doesn't match between the lettering and the flowers. It's lopsided (I'm very curious what it looked like when cut into- is the wonky-ness frosting or cake induced?) and it looks like the wreckerator decided that "Anna" wasn't palindromey enough and had to make it "AnnA" Sigh

@Tricia L HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Now all I can hear is Carol Channing narrating this entire blogpost. In fact... Cake Wrecks... I think it's time you had a celebrity endorser. I nominate Carol Channing. Or Joan Rivers.

Hmmm, That's interesting... I've lived in the south my entire life too and I've heard "gosh durn" often enough to remember thinking as a kid what a 'durn' was. Did they mean darn? In fact, my baby sitter says "gosh durn it!" It amuses me to no end. She also says warsh instead of wash... and she's lived here all her life too. At least I've travelled some, she's been within the same 100 miles her whole life and she's all the Southern Spitfire you can imagine complete with the white hair and the warbly voice.

You know, how that last wreckorator got all those lovely wrinkles in on the post-it note cake.... and the fact that the frosting looks like it's sweating..... it just adds to the general aura of disaster here.

#1 has a decidedly Celtic feel -- I'd say Ireland or Scotland. My ancestry is Scottish, so I don't have a problem with a 'bairthday' cake. Someone wishing me a 'happy bairth', on the other hand, is a wee bit out o' kilter, ye ken.

#2 would be great for celebrating the grand opening of "Helen's Dentistry and Extermination Service". It would also make a superb poster, with the caption: "Always verify the customer's request." In either case, the transparent lower teeth (amazing effect, but SO out of place) are a great attention-getter. To distract attention from the 'mice' -- or whatever those things are with the unusually long tails. Ahem.

Matty's (really?) 'position' is a tad concerning, especially given the balloons. Is there a Wreckerator manual somewhere, specifying that balloon strings must look like tails?

Oh man where do I even begin? I say these wreckerators were all having a bit to drink before they read the order forms. Then they merrily wrecked each and every cake while whistling a happy tune. Because I can't think of one reason a giant mouth with mice surrounding it would make sense. To anyone lol.

''Jim,' you're thinking, because you've once again forgotten my name and now apparently my gender as well..." Haha, I love it! I can't help but feel kinda bad for the folks who ordered the mouth cake and the Post-it, though. Looks expensive! Ah well, screwed up cakes make for better memories.

These kind of wrecks are my least favorite (sorry Jen--I still heart you big time) because I'm always sitting there thinking, well, duh, the people doing the decorating are working for minimum wage, if that, and it is quite likely that they spell Happy Birthday F-E-L-I-Z C-U-M-P-L-E-A-N-O-S, or the Ethiopian, Indian, Laotian pick-your-local-immigrant-population-here equivalent.

If I were given a scribbled post-it in Laotian I doubt I'd do much better. Probably, I'd do much worse. I'd be the Falker Satherhood star of Asia. Hmmm...*ponders future career move*

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.