Cute or Creepy? Unlikely ‘Community’ Romances, As Depicted by an Illustrator of Kids’ Books

It sure seems like Community‘s Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) has entertained brief romances with just about everybody on the show, including Britta (Gillian Jacobs), Annie (Alison Brie), and nearly every attractive guest-starring lady.

Troy (Donald Glover) had a thing with Annie, too, just for a hot Season One second—but we all know Troy only has eyes for his main broseph Abed (Danny Pudi). And then there’s Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown), who has had dalliances with her former Spanish teacher, Señor Chang (Ken Jeong) and, even more notably, with Theo Huxtable.

How can any casual viewer follow Community‘s sordid social graph? But more importantly, how will the writers add any more will-they-won’t-they frisson? Isn’t Community starting to feel a little bit like the fourth season of Friends? Hasn’t every romantic avenue already been exhausted? IS THERE NO ONE LEFT TO SLEEP WITH?

Children’s book illustrator Julieta Colás is here to help! She has thought long, hard, and deeply about this, and has considered new romantic configurations from every angle. What I’m coyly trying to say is, Colás drew us a bunch of fanfic, basically.

“The Married Couple.” What if Jeff and Britta finally paired up? Britta espouses a lot of fake feminist rhetoric, so you know she won’t be the one making breakfast. Also, look! She’s drinking tea! Nice touch, Julieta—you’re a true fangirl.

“The Cougar.” WHAT. Gillian Jacobs is literally eleven months older than Donald Glover. The fact that she plays an Oldy McOlderson on the show (she’s 28! She’s 28 in real life!) kind of skeeves me, especially when both sophomores are played by 27-year olds. In other news: Britta and Troy should totally hook up. Yes.

“The School Sweethearts.” If only Annie could consummate her longing for Troy; then she could scrawl “T&A 4ever” on everything. Which so works, because have you seen Alison Brie.

“The Alpha Males.” Aww! Those are the embarrassing little shorts from the episode “Pool Party“!

I still think America isn’t ready for a ‘black/white’ relationship to be depicted in all of its Jungle Fever-glory.

Making matters worse, Alison Brie’s character is of the Jewish persuasion. Personally, my ‘white whale’ [take that pun how you wish] of television relationships, but showing an African-American male and a Jewish woman … enjoying each others company — possibly relating to one another? I don’t see it happening in my lifetime.

Now Troy and Abed? That’s something I can get behind [again, take it].

Izilla – You’re joking, right? I mean, you fully intended for that to be a joke? Because I can think of dozens of people who don’t make their race or religion a big deal at all, especially in relationships.

He (hi, Isaiah!) means on primetime network TV, which is aired in the backwoods. And while I verge on unhappy agreement—we must never alienate the backwoods!—I actually think NBC, and NBC specifically, can hack it. (NBC also airs ‘romantic entanglement’ plotlines on 30 Rock, The Office, and Parks and Recreation, and is maybe the happiest network in the universe for South Asian-American actors. Even the awful, xenophobic, duly-canceled Outsourced seemed to be working up its nerve to add cross-cultural romance to the plot.)