"I rented this while contagious.""If you only knew where this disc had been.""It turns out I can hold up 29 of these without using my hands.""The spots on this disc are not from Pepsi.""It turns out you really can pick things up with your ass cheeks."

Draw a comic, but one panel at a time. Soon, people will rent every movie in that redbox to see how the comic ends and redbox will see a huge growth in video rentals and will figure out it was you and will give you a cut of the money.

"You start to play it and it's like somebody's nightmare. And then this woman comes on, smiling at you, right? Seeing you... through the screen. Then when it's over, your phone rings, someone knows you watched the tape... and what they say is, 'You will die in seven days.'"