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My thanks to Sharon Greer for this honest review of my book, Hidden in The Shadows, Never Give Up…..

Book review of Hidden in the Shadows Never Give Up

By Patricia E. Day

Submitted by Sharon Y Greer

The title of this book grabbed my attention because it immediately conveyed a sense of mystery which piqued my curiosity.

I found this to be an informative and interesting story dealing with the highly emotional, largely hidden topic of Wife Abuse and the sense of helplessness, guilt, shame, and fear that surrounds it.

The Prologue sets the stage for this theme and leads naturally into the first chapter which introduces the reader to the main character, Priscilla, as well as the background for the story.

As the story unfolds one sees other characters through the eyes of the writer and a sense of involvement in the issues begins to develop.

Many questions come to mind as one wonders what experiences could create the callous chilling attitude and actions displayed by the abuser, Adrian, toward someone he claimed to love and eventually married and raised a family with. The possible causes of such a mindset might have been explored in more depth to give the reader some of the warning signs that lead to the creation of an abuser.

We clearly see examples and ensuing results of the trauma experienced by Priscilla, but I am left wondering how none of these abusive actions was evident to her sons. It would seem their Mothers bloody lip caused by a blow from Adrian might have raised some questions. Also the sense of tension between their parents, and their father’s continual ‘put downs’ of their mother must have been noticed, especially by the older boy.

The story offers many helpful suggestions to assist women suffering through abusive situations. The power and Control wheel depicted at the end of the story supplies abused women with warning signs, and the chapter entitled “Be Prepared” clearly outlines information to victims of abuse who may feel too helpless to form a plan to escape their tormentor.

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Social media often exposes bullying, and reminds each of us to be aware of this abusive tactic; asking the abused party and the abusers to seek professional help.

Girls can be more aggressive, when they are directing their cowardly actions toward boys – especially, if the boy in question is not inclined to ‘hit back.’ The attacks can be brutal and unrelenting. The boy, feeling unable to protect himself NEEDS SOMEONE TO SPEAK UP on his behalf. The situation has to be dealt with quickly otherwise, dire consequences can result.

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Anyone not of a controlling or abusive nature, finds it hard to understand how somebody can be that way. A person on the receiving end of an abuser’s behavior can find it almost impossible to escape, even though it is their deepest desire. They are too afraid.

One would think it would be just a matter of deciding to get the heck away to safety. It is not that simple. Usually, by the time you realize the person you have trusted with your love is an abuser, you have been brain-washed into thinking you are worthless; mentally weak; ugly and not worthy of attention. You have become a person of no self-esteem. You no longer have confidence in yourself or your ability to function away from the controller in your life. In other words – YOU NEED HELP!

So how do you know if your relationship is not healthy? Consider some of the following:

Do you have to ask for money?

Are you threatened in any way?

Are you made to feel unimportant? Stupid? Ugly?

Do you suffer insults?

Can you question your partner without fear?

Are you free to leave the house when you choose?

Do you have to report every move?

Does he/she say they will commit suicide if you leave?

…….. the list can be very comprehensive. You will be so used to the abuse that you might relate to all these and more, without identifying yourself as a victim. You accept everything that goes wrong as being your fault – or justify that the other person is really a good person, but cannot help getting angry. WRONG!