Cindy, I curse the relentless march of time, the destroyer of everything!!! Alas, one day our love won't even be a memory in any living soul!!! Most of all, I piss on the hack creator who drew these absurd suits that you can't have sex in!! FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!

What may be more shocking to people watching us than the fact that not only are we naked and what Mr Peanut looks like without his Peanut suit on -- and that there is in fact an entire race of Mr Peanuts -- but that Mr Peanut doesn't wear gloves: his hands -- our hands -- actually look like this.

Isn't it interesting how random chance dramatically changes our paths in life? Like, for instance, if it weren't for that deadly chemical spill back in September, we never would have met in the "R" bar. And that night of unbridled passion would never have happened. And you would never have been exposed to the toxic dust on my clothing that killed you by morning, forcing me to try in vain to preserve your body in a hazmat suit all these winter months. Ah, the crazy twists and turns of life's little accidents... I love you, martini guy.

From FOX PEOPLE NEWS: When these welders get together for love in their newly designed love suits, sparks don't fly like you might think! Actually the slow rubbing together of the material is harmless and very very sensual.

Mary, in-spite of Gary's domination of the contest this week, these other posters continue to try and be funny. They are losers by I am in awe of their gumption. Now for the joke: Let's have sex anyway.

(2) "Hey, I just thought of something. If everything is floating in zero-gravity inside this space station, what's keeping the bed, the nightstand, and the lamp on the floor? Also, why the hell are we in bed together?!"

That's not the ghost of Orville Redenbacher I see in the face mask. It actually IS Orville Redenbacher suffocating from those deadly fumes that harmed or killed thousands of workers in pop corn factories. He was transported here by that goddamn parallel dimension.

"My goodness, Millicent, complying with your many recently enforced precautions has turned this into a most ungainly exercise. I know my unfortunate excess of last Whitsun's Eve was unforgivable, but I should have hoped my assiduous endeavors to atone for that regrettable mishap these past many-a-days would have by now ameliorated that most heinous sin. As the Almighty above is my witness, I swear I shall never, ever again, as long as I draw breath upon this earth, cause my odious ejaculate to flood the sacred vessel of your delicate throat."

"Who's got the cutest little vaccuum-sealed pituty left on the planet? Who's got the cutest little vaccuum-sealed pituty left on the planet? Who's got the cutest little vaccuum-sealed pituty left on the planet? That's right: YOU do. YES you Do!"