[Short Story] Gods of Everything Imaginable

Picture a bar. It is a normal looking bar, with patrons dressed rather formally, chatting happily with their friends, almost all of them with a drink in their hands.

Now picture two odd looking individuals sitting at the corner of the bar, not quite fitting in. Sitting on one side of the table, facing the street, is a young looking lady, with an eye catching hair dyed in a mixture of neon pink, green and blue. She is speaking quite flamboyantly, constantly moving her hands around. Like she has endless energy to spare.

Opposite her, an older man stares dully at her, his graying hair in a rumpled mess. Unlike his companion, he is dressed rather somberly, in a black leather jacket, black pair of slacks and a pair of black leather shoes.

From the looks of it, they seem to be engaged in quite a lively conversation, though it is mostly the girl doing the talking. "Come on, D, I don't understand what you're complaining about? What's wrong with constantly bringing new life to this world?"

The old man, whom we shall call D, seems annoyed at the girl's statement. "Stop calling me D, Goddess. 7 billion people and counting is no joke to this world. You know this world cannot support too much human life, and I'm already overworked to death trying to keep the population numbers in check," he angrily retorts.

At the mention of death, the girl laughs hysterically, almost toppling both their drinks. "Oh my D, worked to death! Did you hear yourself? That was the joke of the century!" The goddess taps the old man's shoulder playfully, only making him more annoyed. You could almost see the smoke coming from his ears.

"I didn't call you here to joke, Goddess. I am here to discuss serious matters. As Gods, I expect us to exercise our responsibilities more cautiously, in a more measured manner, not just simply to our whims and fancy," the older man replies bluntly, in a slightly raised voice.

Yes, you did not hear it wrongly. The old man calls the both of them Gods. In fact, let me let in you on a little secret. The girl with the strikingly colourful hair, many know her as the Goddess of Life. The old man opposite her? Oh, you definitely don't want to be near him. He is the guy they call the grim reaper, his job something needs no explanation.

The goddess of course, true to her nature, rolls her eyes. "Oh puh-lease. How can someone who takes away the life of people expect to lecture me on responsibility?"

"I do not flaunt my powers carelessly, Life!" Death slams one hand on the table. "Every soul that I reap is done with a reason. Not carelessly. Unlike you, who simply give lives to those who are least prepared for it, to those who did not even ask for to be born. You simply bring life to this world, without caring how that life will turn out eventually."

Death continues glaring at the Goddess. "Look at the state of the humans right now! Those who are least prepared to be parents are breeding like rabbits, while those who will make great parents are denied the chance to."

"Hey, it's not my fault that the poor likes to fu-"

"Enough!" Death shouts back, waving his hand into her face. The conversation is not going the way he intends it to be. Picking up his jacket, he turns and walks away, down the street before disappearing into the crowd, leaving the Goddess of Life mid-sentence. Around them, people continue on with their activity, oblivious to the exchange. None sparing a look to their direction.

Now picture the Goddess sitting there, fuming mad from having been told off by Death, that sulking good for nothing old man. She looks around, spots an obviously underage couple getting drinks by the bar and smiles mischievously to herself.

"Me not responsible huh," she mutters. "Well, why break the record now?"

The goddess flicks her finger, before disappearing to the night herself, leaving only whispers of a giggle behind. Three months down the road, the couple is met with rude surprise when they find out that the girlfriend is pregnant. All because the Goddess of Life was unhappy.

Why am I telling you, you ask? Well, I thought it would be good to let you know about the existence of Gods out there, in fact there are countless Gods, for everything imaginable. Life, Death, Fire, Disease, Water, even a God of English! How funny is that. He's the one that dies a little whenever a student makes a grammar mistake.

But I digress. The reason I am telling you this, is because I love telling stories. I like setting imagination free, letting minds wander from the boring reality that is life (no offense to the Goddess, of course). Like Death and Life that you just saw, I am a God too. Not as powerful as them, but still a God nonetheless. All the fables, urban legends, myths and even the stories in this subreddit? I have a hand in that!