Is the HSUS OK with that, for the record? Are you guys OK with celebrities who adopt pets, only to dump them months or even just weeks after bringing them home? Is that HSUS policy now?

I’m going to assume it is, since you’re happy to hook your wagon onto her star, at least for the sake of publicity. That’s fair – it’s pretty much the same thing Ellen did to Pig, the French Bulldog she pimped on greeting cards and show segments, and then quietly disappeared from her life, and all of her promotional materials.

Could you especially ask her what happened to Pig? Some of us are kind of worried about him. Did she return him to the pet store, or turn him over to rescue, or hand him off to a hairdresser or the guy who details her car? Just give us a hint, if you could. We’d really like to know.

I am starting to wonder if Ellen Degeneres is a sort of Bermuda Triangle of dog adopters — dogs go in, then disappear, never (except in the case of Iggy, who’s doing public service announcements) to be heard of again.

So, how many dogs has the Ellen Triangle ‘disappeared’? Everyone knows about Iggy, the dog Ellen adopted from beleaguered rescue group Mutts and Moms , only to dump on her hairdresser two weeks later, when the dog ‘wasn’t getting along with her cats’. Ellen’s televised breakdown, where she tearfully called for the return of the dog, did a great job of portraying her as the well meaning adopter, victimized by a cruel and heartless rescue group.

It’s hard for me to believe how easily convinced people were that this rescue is somehow evil – in spite of the fact that Mutts and Moms is dedicated to one of the hardest aspects of dog placement, pregnant and newly delivered bitches (that’s the ‘Moms‘ in ‘Moms and Mutts’). What I found even more surprising was that no one in the media called Ellen on her bullshit — rather than being a victim, she has a long history as an impulse adopter with a penchant for dumping her pets.

Ellen Degeneres and Oakland the Border Collie

A few people might remember Oakland the Border Collie (although it’s doubtful that Ellen does). It was 2003, and Ellen had just signed the deal for her television show. Ellen spotted Oakland in a commercial for the Oakland, California shelter where she was being held, and just had to have her. A few phone calls later, and the dog was ‘rushed to the airport’, where Ellen carried him onboard her private jet. Photo opportunity, ahoy!

A fairy tale ending — but Ellen didn’t keep Oakland. Hey, adolescent Border Collies are a lot of work, and probably not the best thing to take on when you’re in the middle of a whirlwind tour to promote your new television show. Oakland disappeared, and was never mentioned again.

A few years later, and Ellen preshadows the “Iggy Incident” when she ‘adopts‘ a dog from Los Angeles producer Kerri Randles.

Kerri Randles told Page Six that she gave DeGeneres a male mutt named Stormy two years ago, only to find out less than two months later that Ellen had given him to a member of her staff.

“She may have had it for much less time than that. I only say two months because that’s when I called to check on the dog and found out she no longer had it,” Randles said. “I was totally shocked. I thought she was out of her mind.”

A bit of digging turned up another dog — a so called ‘designer mix’ (read: mutt) she named “Morkie”. Where’s Morkie now? Who knows, but it’s no longer with Ellen.

In September of 2006, a press release was issued mentioning that Ellen and Portia had ‘taken in’ a French Bulldog named Pig. The release:

Comedienne ELLEN DeGENERES and her partner PORTIA DE ROSSI have added to their menagerie of animals after taking in a French bulldog they’ve called PIG.

Ellen Degeneres with her French Bulldog Pig

‘Taken in’ later morphed into ‘adopted’, which in celebrity-ese generally means “bought at a pet store”. I checked, and none of the known French Bulldog rescue groups acknowledge having knowingly placed a Frenchie puppy with Ellen or her partner.

Pig became an important cog in the Degeneres publicity machine fairly quickly. Numerous photos of Pig ran on Ellen’s website, and he was mentioned by her frequently in her monologues.

Pig appeared on the show, as did two portraits of him painted by a fan.

Ellen even ran a video of ‘naughty’ Pig refusing to listen to her commands to go to his place and do a down. Apparently, it’s cute when Frenchies misbehave!

Here’s the video, which I had uploaded to Frenchie Friends on Ning.

Pig’s real fame, however, came when Ellen released her line of greeting cards in 2007. The 32 cards feature Ellen doing cutesy Ellen style things — and several also featured Pig.

Ellen Degeneres and Pig on Her Line of Greeting Cards

Flash forward to today, and where’s Pig?

We have no idea, but we do know that Pig is gone. Gone completely, gone utterly, gone totally.

Pig has been removed from Ellen’s websites with near surgical precision of the kind you expect when the CIA ‘disappears’ someone.

His photos are gone from her website galleries, his mentions from her bios and releases. An old link to the original file for the Pig Steals the Cheese video leads to a dead link.

Commenters on Ellen’s site repeatedly ask “Where’s Pig?”, with never an answer. There are lots of rumors out there, but no Pig.

Is it true, as Howard Stern claims, that Ellen has done this – adopted and dumped dogs – “At least nine times?”. I don’t know.

What I do know is that her names needs a big read “DNA” sticker on it in the files of every rescue across the country – “Do Not Adopt”.