It has recently come to the author’s attention that, rather than producing actual content, it might be preferable to pass judgment on other people’s content, and then to assemble those judgments into one easily digestible rankings list. It’s what is commonly referred to as a “win-win” situation, on account of said rankings require minimal labor and drive traffic more effectively than other articles that deal in things like “nuance” and “subtlety.”

In this edition of Lists and Rankings, we cast our judge-y eye towards today’s most most well-written headlines. Note how the author has included one or two lines’ worth of pithy commentary, lest you find yourself under the impression that absolutely zero effort was expended in the creation of this bloggiest of blog posts.

I was thinking that about ‘Statue’ and ‘bidding’ as well, though the sentence as a whole may have utterly baffled them. What’s an All-Star, or a cactus? Did this cactus perform some sort of monumental task or demonstrated his worth so much so above that of the rest of man as to be forever immortalized as a statue? Perhaps Cactus is of the utmost beauty and her statue reflects it perfectly?