Ramblings of a blabbermouth.

Orgasmatron!

Let me start this post with a few lines from a song called Orgasmatron by the band Motörhead:

I am the one, Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand

My image is of agony, my servants rape the land

Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain

Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name

Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law

My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore!

Well, I had almost forgotten about this song. The other day while I was desperately searching the hard drive of my office-computer for some songs that I had not listened lately, I found this one; and instantly I realized that this was THE song that I was looking for! The first paragraph that I have mentioned here, talks about religion and how it’s being exploited. Really, the self proclaimed “Servants of God” have tweaked the religions as per their need, to suit their paranoiac mind. They have taken it to their bedrooms to satisfy their kinky libido! If you know the loopholes, you can exploit it too, just like the lawyers can exploit the “law”! Well, these are my views. You do not necessarily need to agree with it, but I really feel that it is the hypocrites and the paranoids, the clandestine “guardians of religion”, who make it a “sadistic sacred whore”! I’m totally with you on this, Lemmy!

Anyway, that provokes me to torture you with yet another story on the miseries of life (Click here to read the previous story). So folks, fasten your seat-belts and get ready to take a ride to the nonsense!

1

Arjun (Aj) was completely lost in the awesomeness of the guitar solo in Free Bird, the Lynyrd Skynyrd song, when his cell phone broke the tranquility.

Aj: Hey dude, how are you?

Sid: I’m good man.. what about you?

: Ummm…I’m good too!

: Aaj ka kya scene hai? Got any special plans for the evening?

: No re. Ain’t no scene as such. Just sipping a Haywards!

: Saala! But really, beer tastes the best on hot Saturday afternoons!

: hahaha…you bet! Where are you now?

: At my place.

: Why don’t you come over?

: But I was thinking to come in the evening!

: Fuck it, man! If you don’t have any work, come over!

: ummm…okay! On my way!

: Cool! See you then.

Aj took the last sip off the mug, turned on Mama Said, and went back to the state of oblivion and bliss.

2

Aj: Good to see you bro! Come in, have a sit! [Offers a cigarette to Sid, and lights one for himself] So, tell me, how’s life treating you?

Sid: BAD, man…real bad!

: [Aj, pouring 2 glasses of beer] Unreasonable deadlines? Boss is a prick? Altercation with girl friend? Not enough credit in the card? What’s the matter?

: No man, it’s different!

: PMS?

: So funny!

: hahahahahaha

: [Sid, raising the beer mug] Cheers! To life!

: To life!

: Yeah, so, what’s the matter with you, mate?

: This girl, man, Sunaina!

: Your girl friend? You must have taken up a silly fight with her again, eh?

: No dude, this time it ain’t like that!

: So, what happened? Wait a minute, she was supposed to go home, and talk about you two, right? Is there anything wrong with that?

: Yea, man! They did not approve!

: Who? Her parents? What a crap, man!

: Hmmm

: But why? Is it the “big buck virus”? But you work with a reputed company and hers is a secured govt. job with good money. You two have a bright career ahead. It’s very sad of them to disapprove, man!

: Ummm…there is a different issue yaar. It is that I don’t belong to their “caste”. I am not a Brahmin!

: Ah! The age-old shit! But just an afterthought, it’s their revenge, you see! You guys have taken so much from them, everywhere you get quota, discounts in college fees; you have so much privileges that you make them feel themselves as “backward class”! You have made their life miserable. Then what do you think, they will not retaliate if they get a chance? [laughs]

: Fuck you! We don’t enjoy any extra privilege than them. We are all from the “general caste”. The difference is that, they are the great “Brahmins” and we are not! I don’t wear that “sacred thread” that makes me a sacred fuck!!

[Sid gulps a mouthful of beer, lights a cigarette and increases the volume of the stereo. “Come As You Are” fills the room. He drags some stiff puffs from the cigarette, and hums the song. Aj pours more beer]

: And saala, there are Brahmins like you! [smirk] you booze, eat pork, beef, fish, octopus, what all you don’t do?

: [smirks, and then starts with a serious tone.] Dude, what makes you think that by not eating beef or pork, or by not boozing, one can become a “Brahmin”? In fact, I don’t think myself as a “Brahmin”! I am a human first! I have my wishes, I need to fulfill them. If I want to eat something, I will eat. I am in this world to live my life to the fullest, not to make some dumb sacrifices to become a “sacred” Aj! Besides, how can one be a Brahmin, or any other caste for that matter, by birth? As far as my knowledge goes, those classifications were done based on the work they used to do in the society. My grandfather was not a priest, my father is not a priest, and I am not a priest. So what makes me a Brahmin, that is, a priest? I don’t even know Sanskrit! Besides, whenever I pray to God, he thinks I’m bribing him, and so I think he punishes me by making the things happen the other way around! And it scares me so much that I have even stopped praying! Yes, I’m a real Brahmin! Hahahaha

See, I don’t try to impose my views on others, but these things have no value to me, dude! These pimps of “God”, and the politicians are making our life hell! Look at our constitution, it forbids us from discriminating anyone based one his/her caste or religion, and the same constitution gives these “privileges” and sets different laws based on caste and religion. We are living in a world of hypocrites, man! It boils my blood! M-fuckers! Seriously, dude. It is very unfortunate. By the way, what is her stand now?

: She is not ready to go against her parents. And besides, I also do not like to force her. There’s no point, you see, if they always stick to this shitty view, then she can never be happy! And it will create a whole lotta problem. So, I think, just let it be and move on! [smiles, pours another ]

: Hmm…makes sense! It’s really really very sad of us that we are still following the prejudices of the dark age! But really, these things are not expected from a family of their repute, man!

: That’s the way the cookie crumbles, dude! And we are just another brick in the wall! Or should I say “another wench in the brothel”! Hahahaha

: Haha…precisely! And you two are still in contact?

: Dude, she has gone mad! You know how she used to hate my habit of drinking. I always used to hide it from her till the maximum possible level!

: I know, I know!

: Now it’s the other way around. Everyday she calls me, apologize for whatever happened, and asks me to drink!

: To DRINK?

: Yeah! So that I can be “happy”! Even she has started drinking! The other day she was high on vodka shots man!

: Holly shit!! She is BOOZING? Man! The eighth wonder!!!

: Oh! That reminds me, you got Vodka?

: Yeah, you wanna have some?

: Yeah…lemme make some shots!

: Whoa! Shots? Noble idea, I must say!

: [Aj, walking towards the kitchen, says in a Russel Peters tone, with a smirk] Somebody is gonna get real drunk tonight!

: [Sid just smiled, put his head on back of the sofa and shouted the song that was playing]

What I’ve felt, what I’ve known/Sick and tired, I stand alone/Could you be there, ’cause I’m the one who waits for you/Or are you unforgiven too?

: Hey you ass, sit upright, here is the vodka and the glasses!

[with a smile, Sid sits straight, and pours the vodka. Aj changes the song to a different one and shouts, raising the glass]

: In the name of Nirvana!

: Nirvana!

[Kurt Cobain’s psychedelia was all over the room. Aj and Sid “cheered” again, and again, and again. They are lost in the grunge, they are lost in life, they are lost in pain, they are lost in the rage, they are lost in the inebriation!]