There was once a pub landlord who had a pet parrot. The parrot used to live
in the pub's bar and was much admired by all the regulars.

Unfortunately, one
day the parrot was chased out of the pub by a cat and was killed as it flew into
the traffic on the busy road outside. The pub landlord was heart broken.

For
the following year when the pub was closed, the landlord was sure he sometimes
heard his parrot talking to him. A year to the day after the parrot died, the
landlord was sitting in his pub after closing time doing the pub's accounts. He
looked up and saw the ghost of his dead parrot.

"Hello"
said the landlord "what are you doing here"

"I'm a
parrot who can't rest" replied the parrot "I can't go to parrot heaven and I've
been stuck here as a ghost for the past year"

"What's the matter" asks the landlord "can I
help?"

"Well" says the parrot "when I was run over
by the traffic outside, my tail came off. I can't go to heaven until my tail is
put back on, I've had to carry it with me for the past year. Can you put my tail
back on me?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that" replied
the landlord "it would be against the law"

"Why
would it be against the law?" asked the parrot ghost.

"Well" said the landlord "I'm a
licensed pub landlord and it's
against the law for me to re-tail spirits after closing time"!!!