LOTS OF PARTY crashers but no Soy Bombs--that was the scene at last Thursday's Northern California Bay Area Music Awards, a.k.a. the Ghetto BAMMIES (my term, not theirs) at the Transmission Theater in San Francisco. The real BAMMIES, where John Lee Hooker, Santana and Eddie Money collect their awards in tuxedoes and party dresses, takes place Saturday (March 7) at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco. The Ghetto Bammies were held to hand out statuettes to Northern California (sort of) artists.

The BAMMIES began as a local feel-good/rah-rah event. It has expanded to encompass all California acts. Does that mean that BAM is discovering talent in faraway places like Redding, Fresno and Weed? More likely, it is a way to curry music-industry favor in Southern California. Pavement, which formed in Stockton, has more (birth)right to win something than Oregon transplant Meredith Brooks.

All of the San Jose bands got shut out of gold statuettes. Korea Girl lost to the Mr. T. Experience. Crack and Salmon lost to the Deftones. Premiere got aced by Jocelyn Enriquez. Monkey and Slow Gherkin lost to the Dance Hall Crashers. Santa Cruz resident Sista Monica did win the best Blues Artist, so props to her. But don't get me wrong; the Ghetto BAMMIES were still a good time. The bands were especially at ease in this environment, chilling with each other, drinking up, handing out tapes and fliers. Remember, there are no losers. Everyone's a winner.

Outstanding Independent Album: Revenge Is Sweet and So Are You, The Mr. T. Experience

Outstanding Rock/Pop Artist: Kinetics

Outstanding Hard Rock Artist: Deftones

Outstanding Punk Artist: Groovie Ghoulies

Outstanding Ska Artist: Dance Hall Crashers

Outstanding Hip-Hop/Rap Artist: Invizibl Skratch Piklz

Outstanding R&B Artist: Jocelyn Enriquez

Outstanding Dance/Electronic Artist: Tipsy

Outstanding Blues Artist: Sista Monica

Outstanding Jazz Artist: Junk

Outstanding World Beat/Reggae Artist: Strictly Roots

Outstanding Rock En Español Artist: Los Super Elegantes

Outstanding Lounge/Swing/Cabaret Artist: Lee Press-on and the Nails

Outstanding Americana/Roots Artist: Liar

Beasties Are Go

The Invizibl Skratch Piklz were in a good mood after winning their award for Outstanding Hip-Hop/Rap Artist. News is that Mixmaster Mike is now an honorary Beastie Boy; he will be featured on the group's upcoming album and will be taking Hurricane's place as the Beasties' touring DJ. ISP will be releasing a new album of cuts and scratches on its own Furious Ostrich Tracks label in May. An ISP tour with the Beasties is also imminent. ... Salmon gave me a freshly burned CD of four new tracks: "Livermore," "Points," "Screwfaces Bind" and "Ban the Neg." I'd go into what they sound like, if the CD would play. Hey, guys, hope you kept that receipt! Salmon performs at the Cactus Club on March 13.