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"How many women you see in this kitchen? Only me. Why do you think that is? Because high cuisine is an antiquated hierarchy built upon rules written by stupid, old men. Rules designed to make it impossible for women to enter this world, but still I'm here. How did this happen?"

"You think cooking is a cute job, eh? Like Mommy in the kitchen? Well, Mommy never had to face the dinner rush while the orders come flooding in, and every dish is different, and none are simple, and all different cooking time, but must arrive at the customer's table at the exactly the same time, hot and perfect! Every second counts and you CANNOT be MOMMY!"

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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Diets, ever notice when you remove the T it is die. I have struggled with my weight for 20 years and still struggle on a daily basis. What's worse, I am a chef..I am hired to make you spectacular meals all the while, I am having this personal inner battle. I have known fine food and I am friends with healthy foods. But the grass is greener on the fine food side of the fence.

I smoked for 23 years and it was what kept my weight at bay. I quit 2 years ago, because well it is expensive,unattractive and plain just not smart. I used it for years as a stress-reliever and I felt I was justified, because hey,I just served 150 plus people in a 130 degree kitchen without any plates coming back and I was going on my 10th hour of schlepping food without a break.. It can make a girl a little stressed. But we all know what happens when a family sprouts up in the midst of garnishing plates. Your priorities change, all of sudden the rush shifts to little faces lighting up when you come through the door. I missed a lot when my oldest was growing up, Christmases, birthdays and holidays, time that I will never get back. Things change, I was not being a good role model, standing by the garbage dumpster smoking a cigarette in the dark, like a junkie..that is what cigarettes had become for me.
So I quit and my husband who never smoked was elated as you could imagine, I
have to say besides having children quitting smoking was the among the most amazing things that I have ever done. It was very tough and I know that at times I was unbearable to be around.
So 2 years later, after the wreckage has been cleaned up, here I am 52 pounds heavier, Dr. B and I saw it with our own four eyes, somehow revealing my weight to him did not sting as much as it has with other doctors. Maybe I am surrendering..not giving up, just ready to take another road. This a new beginning for me, I am 6 months away from being 43, and as of yesterday I was 201.2 pounds, too much for someone barely 5' 2'. Life has a habit of getting away from you and time marches on. The part that is a challenge is that I am a chef and my love affair with food has placed me here. When I was younger I could take off the weight no problem, but it would and has come right back. I have yo-yoed all my life. I really want to get off the merry-go-round. The first step is said to be the hardest and it is. Imagine what a kick-ass chef I could be if I gave the world healthy alternatives. I will still talk about the sinful pleasures in cuisine but I will also offer a healthy counterpart the angel on our shoulder . So lets cook together, Allez Cuisine!!!!