Survival of The Crispiest

One might contend that the gas tank is actually still filled with gasoline and Eli, after a long day of replacing a car engine with a deep fryer and drinking, just doesn’t realize. A sure fire indicator would be if his esophogus liquified.

“Death Race” seems like the kind of movie you could really enjoy if you’d just drank 16 gallons of beer through a tube. Dumb explodey fun. I’m going to go ahead and call this whole genre “Carsplode!“. I assume I’ll eventually see it the same way I see all Carsplode! movies starring Jason Statham, halfwatching it on TNT on a Sunday afternoon while I’m working.

Director Paul W.S. Anderson has decided that he’s ‘sploded cars so superbly and so “to the max” in “Death Race” that he can’t ever top it in terms of killing cars on film, so he’s decided not to make “Spy Hunter.” As long as we’re thinking of adapting arcade car games to films, how about “San Francisco Rush 2049“? That game kicked ass.

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36 Comments

No, not at all. I love seeing 'sploding stuff and car chases as much as any guy–but this movie (mind you, this is mostly based on my opinion of the previews) seems to have a threadbare plot (if one at all) and is chockablock full of cliches.

So in our area the gasoline gets diluted with 10% ethanol, and flex-fuel vehicles can run on a gasoline mixture that is 85% ethanol. I don't know if that's common in other places as well.

What you may not have known is that ethanol is grain alcohol, the kind of alcohol found in alcoholic beverages. So Eli's beer fueled vehicle is the solution to removing our dependency on foreign oil. For this discovery he will no doubt win the Nobel Prize.

Would it really be maximum evil viscosity though? I mean- viscous demons in the engine sounds suspiciously similar to that "sludge" thing that valvoline is always commercialing about. Wait. Is valvoline actually some kind of secret vatican offshoot?

We (around the Portland, OR quadrant) also have the 85% ethanol mixture. I didn't realize it was made of grain alcohol. I only hope that word about that doesn't get around too much; we have enough drunk rednecks driving around as it is.

Yeah, Boogie Nights was great, but Magnolia was so frakkin' self-indulgent it put me right off him. As for Paul W.S., I thought the first Mortal Kombat movie was perfectly enjoyable, as such things go, but what about that qualifies him to make Alien Vs. Predator?

Thank you! I try to avoid mentioning Magnolia since most folks seem to like it, but I thought it was the worst 3.25 hrs of my life. Any movie that can make Julianne Moore a bad actress has serious problems.