Date: Mon, 14 Oct 2002 00:16:32 -0400
From: Jack Knoff
Subject: VanDyke's Dick
Disclaimer: This story is about men having sex with men. If you are not
into such activities, or your universe, galaxy, solar system, planet,
country, state or province, county, township, city, town, village, or ANY
OTHER governing body, or YOUR MAMA says you shouldn't read it (OR YOU'LL
TURN INTO WOOD!!!), or you're either too old or too young to read it, or
you haven't learned to read yet, BEGONE!
The author has no knowledge of Dick Van Dyke's sexuality, and means to
imply no actual knowledge thereof. The story is fictional in its entirety.
The author only WISHES that such an encounter with Mr. Van Dyke could have
taken place back in the '50s (when the author had JUST learned how delicious
his little friend's little pud was). If Mr. Van Dyke happens to be reading
this, the author would like for him to know that he STILL would not be
kicked
out of bed for eating crackers.
Most written material, if it has any up-front, pre-subject matter inform-
ation at all, has a PREFACE. Given the nature of this story, I have
unilaterally decided that it needs a
PREPUCE: Hi. This is my first submission of a story anywhere. The writing
of it took place through an exchange I had with an unusual young man during
an online PalTalk session. Since he did not want to appear in the credits,
I have changed his PalTalk nick to "NameChanged". I'm including an edited
version of the first part of our PalTalk exchange as a way of explaining
how the story comes about, especially the foot fetish aspect of it, which
doesn't really interest me. Please see APPENDAGE A if you really care
enough about the story to want to know the particulars. Those details are
really not all that interesting, even to me.
So, without further adieu, on to...
VanDyke's Dick
by Jack Knoph (Jack kuhNOFF)
I was walking along the beach one day, not really thinking much about what I
might be doing, just kind of ambling along aimlessly. It was kind of early,
around 6:45 AM, and so far I hadn't seen anyone else about.
As I walked around a big rock, I heard the sharp hiss of a zipper being
hastily pulled up. I looked at the zipper's owner curiously, and almost
fell off of my feet... it was Dick Van Dyke, dressed more casually than he
usually did for the Rob Petrie character.
I was momentarily tongue-tied. But then Dick gave me a grin that made me
feel like I was melting into a puddle.
"Hi" he said.
"hhh... Huh... Hello" was all I could manage at first.
Dick said, "Well, you almost caught me taking a whiz."
I looked down at the obviously dry sand, then at the bulge in his crotch.
By now, I had somewhat regained my composure.
"Sure" I said with a grin. "Were you taking one of those thick, sticky
white whizzes?"
Dick's grin turned sheepish.
"Y'know, I know a better way to relieve the condition known as 'high ball
pressure'," I told him.
His grin broadened. "If I did that with you, would you feel like you just
HAD to report it to the National Enquirer?" he asked.
"No WAY," I said, "I can't have my wife finding out about it, so you'd be
perfectly safe with me."
"Where could we go to 'do it'?" he asked.
"Well, I just happened to drive here in my motor home, and it's parked about
a half a mile back down that way" I said, pointing behind me. I turned, and
he fell in beside me. We chatted about fairly mundane things as we strolled
back the way I'd come, mostly what it was like doing a television show like
his, etc. I asked a lot of questions, and even hinted that I'd like a small
part, but he laughed and said that was all handled by casting.
When we reached my motor home, I unlocked the door and gestured for him to
go
in first. I offered him a seat on the couch, and poured each of us a glass
of orange juice. Then I sat down next to him so that our bodies touched at
the shoulders, hips, and along the thighs. I reached my arm up and put it
around his shoulders. Dick blushed and flexed his body, which had the
effect
of settling us a little closer to each other.
"This couch sags in the middle," I explained.
Now I finally took time to notice more details about how Dick was dressed.
He had on a loose fitting short-sleeved shirt, baggy shorts, and leather
sandals with no socks. The shorts were loose enough that they hid the shape
of his manhood, but were bunched up in a way that indicated that there was a
good mouthful under them.
"Are you comfortable?" I asked.
"Well, except for a slight cramp in my crotch, I'm fine" he said.
"Well, we'd better just see what we can do about that" I told him, and
reached down to unbuckle his belt.
Once the belt and other fastenings were loosened, Dick lifted his body off
of
the couch so I could slide his shorts off.
Much to my surprise, Dick had a pair of bright blue bikini briefs on under
the shorts. Inside the briefs, I could see a respectable amount of manflesh
straining to be freed. I forced myself to take my time getting down to
business and began slowly unbuttoning his shirt with my teeth. By the time
I'd gotten to the fourth button, his smooth chest and hairy nipples were
beginning to expose themselves, so I took a moment to go give each
fifty-cent
sized dark brown circle enough of a suck to get it rock hard. Then I
proceeded to the last three buttons.
Now Dick's smooth chest and flat abs were exposed to me, and I joyfully
licked and kissed all over that wonderful playground. After four or five
minutes, Dick moaned, "Please take off my briefs, they're killing me."
I reached down to the floor where Dick's shorts were bunched around his
ankles, removing them, but leaving the sandals on his feet. The act of
doing
this put my face about 10 inches away from his crotch, where the bulge was
somewhat more pronounced by this time.
I moved my face closer to him and took a deep sniff of his manscent. I kept
moving closer and closer until my nose and lips were brushing the shiny
fabric of the silky spandex bikini briefs. I rubbed my face along the
length
of his cock, and pushed my nose into the softness of his ballsac inside the
briefs, continuing to deeply inhale the heady aroma.
"Lift up" I said, and as he complied, I quickly slipped the briefs over his
rock hard cock and slid them down to his ankles. His freed cock snapped to
attention and slapped against his flat stomach, spraying several droplets of
precum in a line that extended up past his nipples, almost to his throat.
Tossing the briefs into a corner, I moved up and began licking the little
puddles of slightly salty fluid, starting with the biggest one next to his
left nipple. I worked my way up and down his chest and abs, and as I did,
his cock softened slightly, just enough to let it begin to hang forward.
As it happened, Dick was another guy like me, who, as his cock went soft,
began producing copious amounts of precum, which literally flowed in a
stream
from his softening cock, dripping large amounts onto his legs, feet, and the
sandals he was wearing. After I got his neck, chest, nipples and abs
cleaned
up, I began working my way down to clean up his lower extremities, starting
with a slow lick at the five inch long strand of precum hanging from his
gorgeous penis. I was careful not to actually touch his cock with my tongue
in the process, wanting to save that taste sensation for later.
I licked away the long string of precum that ran down his inner right calf,
then the slightly smaller one on the left. Then I took care of his ankles.
Next, I began licking the wet blobs on his sandals, which, being made of
leather, had absorbed some of the precum, and spots had formed.
"Oh, dear" I said, "I'm afraid these sandals might be ruined."
"Don't worry about it" Dick replied. "They're just about worn out anyway."
After cleaning the precum spots off of the sandals as much as I could, I
removed them and set them in a corner. Then I went back and started licking
the precum off of Dick's feet. His cock was still dripping precum, and I
had
to keep licking his insteps and toes as fresh blobs appeared.
Dick giggled as I slid my tongue between his toes and wiggled it.
"That tickles!" he shouted, trying to pull away.
I kept swirling my tongue around his toes, sucking on them individually,
and in groups of two and three. Dick was writhing on the couch, and
finally forcefully lifted me away from his feet.
"STOP!" he yelled.
"I'm sorry," he continued in a quieter voice, "I really can't stand it."
"Sorry" I mumbled. "I just couldn't help myself, Dick. You have the most
perfectly suckable toes I've ever tasted."
Dick grinned. "Well, I like it a little bit, but I can't take it for very
long periods of time, so when you do it again, please stop for a little
while
when I ask, ok?"
"Ok" I agreed.
I looked at his cock, which by now was totally limp. It was nestled in a
moderately thick patch of pubic hair, and had shrunk to a surprising
half-inch nub.
"WOW!!!" I exclaimed, much surprised. "Your cock hides away just like mine
does, Dick."
"Yeah, not much there when it's not hard, but it grows to ten times its size
or better."
I leaned in and sniffed at his peter. Mmmmmm... it had such a sweet smell.
Even though he was circumcised, Dick's glans retracted into his body, just
like mine does, so it appeared as if he were uncut. I gave the rim of
folded over skin which completely covered his glans several gentle flicks
with my tongue, being careful not to go inside to the sheathed helmet.
Dick shuddered and inhaled sharply through his teeth. Encouraged, I flat-
tened my tongue and slid it around the entire tip of the faux foreskin.
Dick moaned and flexed his crotch into my face. I opened my mouth wide
enough to take the entire shrunken pecker into it, still not exposing any of
the covered glans. Closing my mouth and sucking carefully with my tongue
held tightly to the roof of my mouth, I sucked on the pseudo prepuce. With
a
sudden lunge, and a gush of precum, the swelling shaft forced the glans out
of hiding and into my hot wet mouth. The moment was electric, as I tasted
Dick's sweet cockhead for the first time.
Dick's continual moans turned into groans of pleasure.
I began to lave and lick Dick's pulsating penis, which quickly extended
itself to its full length. In seconds my mouth was full of throbbing cock.
The bulbous mushroom head stroked the back of my throat, brushing against my
uvula. I began swallowing rapidly to avoid gagging.
"OOOOOOOoooooooohh!!!" Dick sighed.
Dick suddenly raised his legs. His bare feet lifted and rested on my
shoulders. I released his cock and turned my head to suck on his left toes.
Starting with the little toe, I sucked each one ultimately reaching his big
toe. I had never heard of this before, but Dick's left big toe was his most
sensitive erogenous zone. Having stimulated his penis for less than a
minute, as I sucked on his left big toe, Dick's rigid cock began gushing
huge
globs of cum. The first salvo squirted out with such force that it hit the
picture mounted on the wall two feet above his head. The next jet plastered
Dick's face, getting in his mouth and up his nose.
All in all, eleven spurts of jizz gushed out of Dick's by now deep purple
cockhead. As he lay there totally spent, I managed to suck the last three
or
four squirts directly out of his temporarily gaping slit. After the flow
had
completely subsided, I began working my way up his body, licking up the
puddles and pools of sticky cum.
When I got to Dick's face, he suddenly came to, grabbed me and kissed me
deeply. We cuddled for a few minutes, and then, typical of just about ALL
men, he stood up and began donning his shorts and shirt. When he was fully
dressed, he walked to the door to leave, saying "Well, I'd love to do this
again sometime, what's your phone number?"
I wrote it down and handed it to him. Putting the paper into his wallet,
he stepped outside and into his convertible, which was parked four feet away
from my door.
He hasn't called me yet, but it's only been a couple weeks, but I still have
his sandals and briefs. I couldn't begin to tell you how many times I've
jacked off with those sandals either on my feet or wrapped around my cock in
some fashion. The shorts are usually on my face with the crotch area over
my
nose.
I never WILL clean the stain off of that picture.
----------------
Personal for Dick: We talked about the Nifty website, and I'm posting this
there. If you see it, please find that piece of paper and call, ok?
THE END
----------------
If you enjoyed my story, please emale me and let me know. I even find
flames
amusing, so nothing that anyone writes will go unread, unappreciated, or un-
answered.
jack_knoph@hotmail.com
----------------
APPENDAGE A:
Please note that although one of my PalTalk nicks is RobPetrie90210, my
author name here at nifty.org is, and will remain, Jack Knoph. And, as
this paragraph implies, I hope to submit more stories, when time and
whimsy permit.
NameChanged: hi
RobPetrie90210: hello
NameChanged: are you the Rob Petrie?
RobPetrie90210: nope, just always fantasized about sucking him off while
Laura watched
NameChanged: you wanted to suck Dick Van Dyke off?
RobPetrie90210: yes, but more as the Rob Petrie character than the actor
himself
NameChanged: can you be The Rob Petrie for me?
RobPetrie90210: I can try, but I haven't seen the re-runs for a long time
NameChanged: do u have a cam Rob?
RobPetrie90210: yes, cam me
NameChanged: can i see your face
RobPetrie90210: nope
NameChanged: your feet?
RobPetrie90210: do you have a foot fetish? I have another friend here who
does
NameChanged: i like feet. can i see yours?
RobPetrie90210: ok. 8 & a half's my size, but 9 & a half's so comfortable
that I buy a 10 & a half
NameChanged: Rob tell me your age again
RobPetrie90210: tell me yours first
NameChanged: 25
RobPetrie90210: i'm old enough to sleep alone but too old to want to
NameChanged: i really must see if you look like Dick Van Dyke
RobPetrie90210: i don't look ANYTHING like him
NameChanged: let me see for myself please
RobPetrie90210: i won't show my face until i can see yours, sorry, that's my
policy
NameChanged: do u own a pair of sandals
RobPetrie90210: a couple
NameChanged: can i see the two
RobPetrie90210: here's one pair, I can't get to others right now
NameChanged: why
RobPetrie90210: (I ignored the question)
RobPetrie90210: where are you from?
NameChanged: i live in Utah, you?
RobPetrie90210: Washington state
NameChanged: would you really have sex with Dick Van Dyke?
RobPetrie90210: i'd like to have sucked him off when he was younger. it was
really the Rob Petrie character i was in love with, though
NameChanged: can you tell me a story of you sucking him off?
RobPetrie90210: sure
NameChanged: tell me your name
RobPetrie90210: Jack
NameChanged: (name removed)
RobPetrie90210: pleased to meat you, (name removed)
NameChanged: can you make it so Dick Van Dyke has sandals too?
RobPetrie90210: ok
NameChanged: can i watch your feet while u tell the story
There was a lot more dialog, but I think you probably have the drift by now,
so I wont bore you any more. If you actually read this appendage, and
happened to notice any glaring misspellings, grammatical errors, or other
trivia, please don't bother mentioning them to me, as I wasn't interested
enough in this portion of the document to trouble myself with proofreading
it.
JK