[Opens with a very elegant, very uber fashionable
apartment. There is a party, everyone is dressed in
the latest fashion clothes. 15 guests more or less are
around with drinks on their hands. A female guest
makes a toast]

Female Guest: I want to take this time and
congratulate David on his new spring line.

[some applause]

David: Thank you. Thank you all so much for your
support. It really means a lot to me. Ummm, go back to
having fun.[laughs]

Female Guest: It really was a great show.

David: Thank you.

Female Guest: And your apartment looks so great. I
love it.

David: Yeah, it's getting there, yeah.

[A guy in a jean jacket screams to a group of good
looking women]

Drunk Maniac: YOU CAN ALL KISS MY ASS!!!

David: I guess somebody doesn't like it.[laughs]

Drunk Maniac:[breaks bottle]I WANT MORE BOOZE!!

David: Ok, what's going over there?

Male Guest: Hey, I'm really sorry about his.

David: Is he drunk?

Male Guest: Yeah, well, a little, but he's a very dear friend.

Drunk Maniac: YOU PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS!!!!

[crashing noise, glass breaking]

David: Ok, I want him out of here.

Male Guest: Listen, I think you should know this. His
parents were eaten by a bear.

Male Guest: Oh, yeah. That's the best treatment for
someone whose parents were eaten by a bear. Kick him
outside. Where the bears are!

David: I'm very sorry.

[Drunken maniac stops a guest]

Drunk Maniac: I love them and a BEAR ATE THEM!!!!

[Punches the guy in the face, knocks plant over]

David: How did this happened?

Male Guest: Well, he only talks about them when he's
drunk. But I sort of pieced together the story from
his drunken ramblings. Oh, no....

[Drunken maniac is taking a piss in a potted plant]

Drunk Maniac: A BEAR ATE MY PARENTS!!!

Male Guest: He was home with his parents late at night
watching TV and suddenly this huge grizzly bear
smashes through the sliding glass door.

Drunk Maniac: We should've gone out that night!!

[throws heavy object into the TV screen, TV explodes]

Male Guest: He was completely paralyzed with fear. He
sat there for two and half hours while this bear ate his parents.

Female Guest: Oh, that's awful!

Male Guest: No one and I mean no one!! Should have to
watch his parents being eaten by a bear.

David: Well, I wasn't arguing with you.

Male Guest: Well, it sounded like you were!

Drunk Maniac: MAKE THE BEAR GO AWAY!!!

[Throws statue into glass table smashing it to pieces]

Male Guest: It's all right everybody. His parents were eaten by a bear.

Crowd: Awwwwwww!![understanding responses]

Drunk Maniac: It should've been me![cries]

David: Now, don't say that. That's not true![comforts him]

Drunk Maniac: My parents are in the stomach of a bear!

Male Guest: We're here for you, buddy. We're
here.[comforts him too]

Drunk Maniac: The bear, the bear....used my parents
for calories so he could run and climb. But my parents
were much more than bear calories. THEY WERE MY
PARENTS!![cries loudly, more comfort towards him]

David: Listen, why don't you sit on my couch? And I
can get you some coffee or something. Ok?