Last year, I publicly opposed the Texas Marriage Amendment (Proposition 2), and so Dooley wanted to know whether I thought Haggard’s situation would strenghten the case for those who support gay rights. I said, and she accurately quoted, that I didn’t think so. Certainly he has admitted to deception and hypocrisy, but Haggard’s situation is simply a sad one for everyone involved.

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Matt – I agree. It is indeed a sad situation. I hate to see anyone undergo that kind of public humiliation as a result of his or her private behavior. My amateurish armchair therapist view of Haggard is that he immersed himself in that sort of repressive right wing religious / political environment as a means of dealing with his sexual self-loathing. But closeted gays and bisexuals are found throughout our society and I suspect the evangelical movement contains a fair share. His personal behavior is a private matter as far as I’m concerned. It’s the hypocrisy of condemning others and telling us how to lead our lives that I find offensive. Haggard and his supporters in the evangelical movement will be spending a lot of effort talking about “sin” and “redemption”, but I would hope they would put equal effort into understanding the psychology of sexuality. Let us hope that Pastor Haggard finds a good therapist – and certainly not James Dobson – to help him understand his own internal conflicts.

You’ve hit the nail on the head. I think the answer to your question is at least two-fold:

First, the media thrives and profits from controversy. As such, they will sell dualisms and debates at every turn. This is one of the cardinal rules that public figures learn in dealing with media interviews…it is the media’s job to spin controversy…

Secondly, for the individual who is uninformed on a particular issue, the simpler it is, the easier it is to comprehend. Gay/straight is simple, and so people don’t typically search for deeper truth.

The reality is, as you have said, “shades of grey.” I teach a workshop in lifespan human sexuality and another on welcoming gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people in our faith communities. One of the most basic elements of those curricula is that all aspects of sexuality, including sexual orientaion, exist on a continuum. In honestly answering surveys on a continnuum of heterosexual to homosexual, my experience has been that the majority of people put themselves somewhere close to one or the other, but very few people put themselves at the extreme ends.

One of the intersting aspects of Haggard’s situation is that his behavior does not really reveal any truth about his sexual orientation. Whether he is gay are straight or somewhere in between, only he knows. Either way, his behavior, as he has admitted, was wrong.

Yep…As I wrote the word “wrong” earlier, I struggled with whether that is what I actually meant. I think his behavior was wrong at least in that it was injurious to those who love him. He was also definitely being human. I agree that forgiveness and reconciliation are more important that any judgment or accounting.

“True virtue is not virtuous.” I see this as a reminder that the journey (the Tao) is more important than the destination. In Haggard’s situation, perhaps it could be a reminder that we learn from our mistakes. Learning is the point and any benefits of a better life will come as a natural result of that learning.

If we set out to be virtuous, then we risk losing our virtue. If we set out for a journey, open to transformation along the way, then we will find virtue at every turn.

Another interesting aspect to this situation that has not really been explored is the reaction of his wife. It is easy to assume that she feels betrayed and cheated on; I’m sure that most people would feel this way. But the bottom line is that (well, I’m making an assumption here) Haggard is not in love with his gay sex partner. Sex does not always equal love. We’d like to think that morally speaking, sex is always the ultimate manifestation of married love, but more often than not, that’s just not true. People have sex without love all the time. That doesn’t make it right or wrong, it’s just the way it is. So Mrs. Haggard is going to have to decide for herself whether or not her husband loves her and if she loves him. If they still love each other, then they will endure. She will have to find out if her husband merely sought to satisfy his sexual urges or if he was looking for something/someone to fill an emotional void.

And y’all are right…human sexuality is complicated because we use sex for reasons other than reproduction.