Brazen Fox

Everybody scrambled around trying to get their last minute town business squared away before setting off to the Castle to rescue Gundren Rockseeker from the cruel clutches of the evil Black Spider.

Ro-Kan was atop the belltower, praying to Thor, when a thick fog rolled in completely separating Ro-Kan from the town below. THORWASTHERE! In person. How cool is THAT?!

Thor was all like “Yo, Ro-Kan, you’re a pretty gnarly dude. I saw the way you killed that Dragon. Thick moves, dog,” and Ro-Kan was all like “I seek only to have my family name echo in the halls of Valhalla,” and Thor was all like “Glory, son! That Dragon’s skull hitting the cobblestones is still echoing in DEEZNUTS!” And then they slapped a mega-righteous high-five. Then Thor told Ro-Kan he’d answer a question for him, and Ro-Kan asked if they should trust Duracella, and Thor was like “Pffffft. The fuck you think, homeslice? I’ll check back with you later, hombre. Thor out.” Then Thor just totally kerploded the top of the belltower with a blast of wicked lightning. The bell went flying, and so Ro-Kan grabbed the rope and rappelled down after it.

He met up with the rest of the group, and then they went to Duracella’s and she met them outside her tent. She briefly whipped and nae-naed, and muttered a brief verse of “Forgot About Dre,” and everyone was transported miles away, to within sight of the Castle that held Gundren. “Smell ya later, chumps!” said Duracella, as she teleported away.

“Hey everyone, let’s all try to be stealthy as we approach the Castle. We don’t want to get shot full of arrows before we even reach the wall,” said Turin.

“Good idea,” agreed everyone on the planet except for Zex who shouted “I’m coming, cousin!” and tore off through the bush at the highest speed a Dwarf could manage, which is a pretty brisk walk.

As they get closer to the Castle, they convinced Zex to calm down and play it smart. By scouting out the Castle, they found a side door that clearly led into the barracks or something because there were a ton of hobgoblins making noise just inside the door.

Sneaking around, the party placed a metric fuckton of hunting traps, leftover from their battle with Venomfang, all around the door, stairs, and field, as a trap to lure the hobgobling into. Avery then cast an illusion of a hobgoblin standing in the field with a dead human body nearby, and shouted out in goblin “Hey boys, come on out and share some fresh meat!” The hobgoblins all came pouring outside, and one by one got caught in hunting traps, sliced to shit by magical swirling dagger clouds, lit up by green eye lasers, magically missiled, or stuck full of arrows. As Ro-Kan sunk another arrow into the chest of a hobgoblin soldier, Thor appeared nearby, laughing. “Aw snap! You stuck that motherfucker like a pig!” Thor spilled ethereal popcorn as he laughed. “Good shit, homey. Good shit.” And then he disappeared.

The party then found a secret entrance on the other side of the castle, and so they went in that way, now that all the guards’ attention would be brought to this side.

They went in and found themselves face to face with an Owlbear. Ten scared it by arguing about the relative scales of map grids, and it ran off. Then they found Gundren, in a room with some monsters, which they killed easily.

Nyarlethotep quickly ordered the group to surrender. Zex and Ro-Kan resisted surrender most fiercely, but Ten insisted that they kneel before Nyarlethotep. The Black Wind repaid Ten’s acquiescence by promptly removing his head from his shoulders. Ro-Kan saw this, and thinking quickly, he grabbed all of his companions (and Ten’s body) and started sprinting through the trees.

But The Thing in the Yellow Mask was already waiting in the next clearing for Ro-Kan.

The entire party was dead.

They awoke on the cosmic shores of Valhalla.

The skipped some cosmic stones, but eventually approached the Mead Hall at the End of the Universe.

Thor was inside. He told them all what an amazing job they were doing, and asked if anyone was interested in converting to worship him. He had many takers. He then made all of their equipment +2, and returned them to life. On the shores of some far-off island…

BANGBANGBANG
—Turin is climbing out the window to join Rat and Ro-Kan on the ledge

TURIN: It’s a dragon.

RAT: We noticed!-
RO-KAN: BE GONEFROMTHISPLACE, DRAGON, OR YOUWILL BE DESTROYED!
-

DRAGON: I AM VENOMFANG, AND I WILLRETURN IN TWOHOURS TO COLLECT MY EGGS. IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS, YOUWILLALL BE KILLEDAND I WILLRAZETHISTOWN TO DUST.-
RO-KAN: Krag, can you build a catapult?
-TURIN: Check. Check. This is what it sounds like when I talk to you through your brain.

Montage of fighting the Orcs

Soro kicks an Orc corpse off his sword, as Venomfang lands in the center of town

VENOMFANG: IF YOUSURRENDERNOW, I WILLPERMITYOU TO BE MY SLAVES.

RAT: I’m not gonna surrender to you! Why don’t you just EAT ME?!-Venomfang snaps her jaws at Rat
-A fire arrow streaks into the side of the pile of gold, which shimmers briefly, before the illusion falls away, revealing oil barrels.-BOOM!
-Ro-Kan sits in the catapult basket, drinks a potion and disappears. Krag launches the catapult

Ro-Kan blinks back into sight, astride Venomfang’s neck, his Maul smashing into the back of the Dragon’s skull.

Venomfang takes off, flying high into the night sky.
—
Ro-Kan: Dragon, I made you a promise. I told you to leave this place or be destroyed. I keep my promises.

Ro-Kan puts his hand over the Dragon’s left ear, and a massive THUNDERWAVE bursts directly into Venomfang’s brain. The Dragon goes limp. They fall.
—BOOM!

The Dragon hits the ground. Windows shatter. Ro-Kan’s body smashes into the cobblestones a short distance away.

A moment passes. Neither Venomfang nor Ro-Kan move. Then…

Ro-Kan: (rising) GLORY!--FACE TO BLACK

TITLECARD: THEBRAZENFOXPRESENTS: DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

(Theme music plays)

SINGERS: Yeaaaaaah!

FADE IN:

Ro-Kan is hard at work butchering the dragon’s corpse. He bursts a poison sac, but manages to remove the second safely.

Ten arranges for a salthouse to be built as an addition to the Frays & Balks, and hires experienced butchers to take over for Ro-Kan.

Turin and Garcon find a mysterious map written in a strange language in the unmarked crate and decide to counterfeit it. Ten and Rat work together to reconstruct the map, hoping to lead anyone who might find it in the wrong direction. They then split the map apart and give each piece to different people around the city.

Ro-Kan approaches Krag about working security at the Frays & Balks / salthouse while the party is out of town investigating the mysterious map. Krag agrees, but reluctantly, because they didn’t ask him to translate the Orcish language on the map.

They get him to translate.

Duracella, Brown, and Goldenrod arrive in Phandalin. Some party members purchase masterwork armor.

They receive invitations to meet Duracella. They are shown into her tent.

“Make yourselves at home. Eat, drink.”

Ro-Kan approaches the rear of the tent.

“GETOUT OF THISPLACE! You have approached too closely to the forbidden tent flaps!”

The party is quickly ushered out of the tent. Thinking quickly, Roselyn Charms Duracella’s servant, who promises to stick up for the party to Duracella, even though they allowed a member of their group to walk towards the rear of the tent, even after being told to make themselves at home.

Several days later, they are issued another invitation.

“What can I do for you?” Duracella asks.

Ten opens the negotiation. “We have, as you no doubt know, slain a dragon. We have dragon meat, scales, bones, teeth, claws—”

“Pass,” says Duracella. “I have no interest in purchasing dragon bits from you. I do, however, have access to magic items. Wands, scrolls… The sorts of things dragonslayers like yourselves might need.”

Ro-Kan offers to give Duracella access to the Spellforge, once the party recovers it in exchange for—

“What about potions? Do you have any potions?” asked Roselyn.

“Yes, I do have potions.”

“Well, how much would it be for—”

Ro-Kan started again. “Excuse me. About the Spellforge? How about you supply us with a few magical items, and we—”

“Healing potions are good, right? How much for those?” asked Roselyn.

When Zex lets slip that he is related to Gundren Rockseeker, Duracella warms to the party instantly. She gifts everyone a masterwork weapon of their choice as a thanks for seeking his safe return.

The Fall of Ro-Kan

We left our Heroes in the freshly emptied Redbrand hideaway. Zex had painstakingly checked every inch of the stone within for secret doors or hidden treasure, but came up empty. Ten had scoured every corner of the lair for magic, but found none. Ro-Kan had cleared every room of anything that wasn’t bolted down strongly enough to stop him from ripping it out. Rat had escorted the freed prisoners back into town, and Turin had followed him to bring back the oxcart and some hirelings.

When Turin returned with the cart, Rat was riding shotgun, and with the help of the four stout miners Turin had hired, they loaded up the goods and went back in to town.

The miners noticed that some of the crates had sigils from various traders inscribed on them, and offered to return the goods to their rightful owners. However, on one crate, the insignia had been completely scratched out and burned away. They agreed to return the stolen goods to their owners, but this crate would have to be opened later to determine whose it was.

Arriving in Phandalin, Toblin met the party outside the Frays & Balks with an Orc in tow.

“Gentlemen! Excellent work in freeing our town from the Redbrand. Allow me to introduce my friend Krag. Krag is a builder. A most capable builder. You tell him what you’d like done with this building, and he will be able to do it!”

After a brief discussion, the group decided that a second floor, a few underground levels, and some secret compartments and passageways would be a great start.

Krag accepted a 3 gold down payment from Ro-Kan and set to work surveying the property.

A few more trips back and forth to get the rest of the loot from the former Redbrand caves, the last trip in the pouring rain, and the heroes opted to retire to the Stonehill Inn for some refreshment.

Toblin, of course, was already there.

“Hello! Hello, yes! How was your meeting with Krag? Were you able to reach an agreement?”

“Yes! Thank you.”

“Excellent. And look, your friends are already at the feasting table, go ahead and join them!”

Turin, having been experiencing a psychotic episode the last time their paths had crossed, did not recognize the mercenaries who had taken full payment for a job half-finished and disappeared. But Ro-Kan, Rat, and Zex certainly did.

Roselyn the Elf Wizard, Garcon the Halfling Rogue, and Soro the Forgettable, the Human Fighter were seated at the table, accompanied by two individuals they did not know: a Gnome, and a High Elf.

“Hey guys!” said Roselyn, waving. “Come sit!” Either she wanted to get a reaction out of them, or she was genuinely oblivious to why they were upset.

Zex turned his back on the mercenaries and sat at the bar next to an Elf with a puddle of rainwater beneath her.

Rat stared daggers at the Wizard and her Halfling bodyguard, and with a defiant set to his jaw, the Halfling calmly walked up to the table, leapt onto a chair, and started taking food off of everyone’s plates.

Turin sat, and started to speak quietly with the Gnome and High Elf.

“Hey big man!” said Soro the Forgettable.

“Hello, puny human,” replied Ro-Kan, coolly.

“Got any more jobs for us?”

Turin quickly picked up on the fact that these “friends” were not actually friends, and telepathically whispered to Ro-Kan: “How about bartender?”

“Yes,” said Ro-Kan. “Bartender. Perhaps that is more your speed, human-who-was-defeated-by-a-single-Bugbear.”

“You left me to die!”

“I cheered for you!”

BANGBANGBANG

The knock at the door was loud enough to get everyone’s attention. The barmaid walked over, opened the door and fainted straight away.

The crowd of miners started pushing towards the door, some to try to help the collapsed barmaid, and some to look outside to see what caused such a reaction. The mercenary team joined them in pushing to the window.

Instead of pushing through the crowd, Ro-Kan grabbed Rat and went up the stairs three at a time, into the bedroom where Turin had recovered from his episode, and went out the window onto the ledge. Looking down, he saw a Dragon.

The Dragon glanced up at the Goliath on the ledge, snorted back a bit of laughter, and resumed her speech.

“THERE IS AN ELF AT THEBAR. SHESTOLETWO OF MY EGGS, AND I WILLHAVETHEMBACK.”

“Never!” cried the Elf at the bar. “I mean, I did. But it’s a Dragon.”

“MY EGGSWILL BE RETURNED TO ME. AS PAYMENTFORTHISAFFRONT, GATHERALLTHEGOLD, SILVER, ANDMAGICALITEMS IN THECENTER OF TOWN. I WILLRETURNWITH MY ORCS IN TWOHOURS TO COLLECTTHEMAND MY EGGS. IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS, YOUWILLALL BE KILLEDAND I WILLRAZETHISTOWN TO DUST.”

With a flick of it’s leathery wings, the beast flapped off into the night, headed North.

The Adventurers confronted the Elf about the Dragon eggs.

She revealed herself to be a Wizard, called Avery. Toblin interjected that she had been in the Stonehill Inn a few weeks back, with a party of nearly a dozen or so who had set out North. She was the only one who returned.

Avery flatly refused to turn over the eggs, or to allow them to be destroyed.

Ro-Kan piped up “We have to kill the Dragon.”

“What should we do about the civilians?”

“I’ll take them to the Redbrand hideout,” offered Ten. “If I stay there, I can cast an illusion over the entrance so it looks like solid rock, no one will find us!”

As Ten led the civilians to safety, the rest of our heroes began preparing for danger.

“Enough talk!” said Zex. “We need to make ready for the Dragon.”

Check. Check. Sibilance. Sibilance. All right everyone, this is Turin. This is what it sounds like when I talk to you through your brain. This is the sound of my voice. Alpha team, that’s ranged attacks, that’s Roselyn, Donnella, Garcon. You copy?

Copy, thought everyone on Alpha team from the roof of the Stonehill.

Bravo team, that’s melee in the town square. That’s Soro, Zex, and Rat. You copy?

“We copy!” shouted Rat from Whiskey’s back. Soro, in the town square banged his gauntlet against his shield. Zex, next to him, looked at the pile of gold and treasure, two greenish Dragon eggs nested atop the horde, and nodded.

Air Support. That’s you Ro-Kan. Ro-Kan, you copy?

Ro-Kan turned towards the belltower from his position on the roof of The Frays & Balks and raised his arm. He looked at the misshapen tarp behind him and grinned.

And the Tower is me, Avery, and Rylin. I know you guys can hear me… Roselyn, what does your hawk see?

Orcs on the North Road thought the Wizard, relaying her familiar’s information to Turin.

We’re on.

A dozen Orcs came down the Tri-Boar Road out of the North, splitting into three phalanxes.

SNAP!

…SNAP!

Two Orcs of the Easternmost phalanx got caught in hunting traps Ro-Kan had hid along the path earlier.

As they entered town, Rat rode up on Whiskey. The Halfling leapt off the pony’s back and dove at a pair of Orcs, twisting his little body like a corkscrew. His spinning cutlass blades hacked into one of the Orcs, spraying black arterial blood across the path. The second Orc turned and smashed his axe into Rat’s torso.

Go Alpha Team

Donnella, the Gnome Fighter, fired her crossbow just wide of the Orc that Rat had slashed and instead hit Rat, the bolt sticking into his armor.

“Turin! Tell the gnome that she’s next!”

Garcon fired his shortbow. Rylin shot his longbow. An Orc from another phalanx went down.

Ro-Kan launched an arrow from his longbow, and smiled in satisfaction as it pinned the Orc next to Rat to the wall behind him, through his throat.

Rat wheeled around and slashed the other Orc’s belly, spilling some blood. But the Orc stayed on his feet and raised his axe again. Before he could swing it, though, a green bolt of energy streaked out of the bell-tower and struck the Orc in the chest. With a smell not unlike a backyard barbecue, he dropped to his knees, and Rat looked through the gaping hole in the Orc’s chest to see a phalanx of Orcs had made it into the town square.

Rat rushed down the street and into the square himself. He was just in time to see four Orcs launch javelins at Alpha team up on the roof. He heard Garcon scream. Rat put himself in front of the door to the Stonehill, in case the Orcs wanted to do more than throw javelins.

But they weren’t interested. They were drawn to the pile of treasure.

“SURROUND MY TREASURE! BUT DO NOTTOUCH IT!” came the voice of Venomfang, approximated by Roselyn. The Orcs were dumb enough to believe the illusory voice, though, and hustled to surround the gold.

Soro and Zex stepped up and started hacking away at Orcs as they moved into the square. The Orcs tried hacking back, but the Human and the Dwarf were so well-armored that none of their axes found flesh.

With one foot on its shoulder, Soro pushed the corpse of an Orc from the blade of his longsword as Venomfang swooped into the square.

With barely a shudder of her wings, Venomfang flew across the square, alighting gently between Rat and the treasure.

“THATSOUNDSLIKE A GOODIDEA.”

Venomfang snapped her jaws and slashed at Rat with her claws. The little Halfling was hurt, but alive.

Now, said Turin. Rylin, go!

Rylin, the Elf Ranger, fired a fire arrow from the bell-tower. It stuck into the side of the pile of gold, which shimmered briefly, and then the illusion fell away, revealing the arrow stuck into the side of one of a dozen open oil barrels.

BOOM!

The oil barrels ignited, exploding the barrels they were in, launching flame and wooden shrapnel everywhere in a 30-foot radius, vaporizing all the remaining Orcs, leaving nothing but their shadows burned into the walls behind them.

Zex and Soro weathered the damage stoically, behind Soro’s shield.

Rat was carried back by the blast and fell to the street. After a moment, his eyes popped open, and he rolled to his feet.

Ro-Kan, go!

Ro-Kan pulled the tarp off the catapult that was built atop the Frays & Balks. He quaffed the invisibility potion and climbed into the catapult’s basket.

“Launch me, Krag!”

The Orc pulled the lever, and Ro-Kan found himself accelerating up into the sky, towards Thor. He hung in the air, weightless for a moment, and felt himself returning groundward. With a glance, he saw his target, and twisted himself into position. He reached back and began swinging his hammer, transferring all of his momentum into the head of his Maul.

CRUNCH!

Ro-Kan blinked back into sight, astride Venomfang’s neck, his Maul smashing into the back of the Dragon’s skull. The Goliath squeezed his legs around the Dragon’s neck, locking his feet tightly.

Volleys of arrows, javelins, crossbow bolts, magic spells that crackled with energy hit the dragon from all angles, from the roof of the Stonehill, from the Tower, from the few miners who were brave enough to help.

“FOOLS!” said Venomfang. “I WILLDESTROYYOUALL!”

The beast flapped her wings, and quickly rocketed up into the sky.

It is beautiful thought Ro-Kan. It is up to me to rid the world of this wretched monster. Turin, if you can still hear me, if I should die now, do not let the world forget me. Do not let the world forget my people.

The Goliath leaned forward and spoke.

“Dragon, I made you a promise. I told you to leave this place or be destroyed. I keep my promises.”

Ro-Kan put his hand over the Dragon’s left ear, and called upon Thor’s glory. A massive THUNDERWAVE emanated from Ro-Kan’s hand and traveled directly into Venomfang’s brain.

The Dragon’s eyes rolled up into its head and its body went limp. Ro-Kan thought back to earlier that day, when they had all met with the Priestess at the Shrine of Luck. She gave each of them a disc, about the size and shape of a sand dollar, that would let them “stand up again, if you should fall”.

Ro-Kan smiled. As he and the Dragon plummeted out of the sky, Ro-Kan reached into his belt pouch and removed the disc. He placed it in his mouth, and muttered a prayer to Thor.

BOOM!

The Dragon’s body hit the ground with enough force to shatter all the windows for blocks. Ro-Kan’s body smashed into the cobblestones short distance away.

A moment passed. Neither Venomfang nor Ro-Kan moved. Then…

“GLORY!” Ro-Kan spat out the fragmented bits of the Luck disc and pulled himself to his feet, wobbly, then stalked over to the Dragon.

“I will have this Dragon’s skull mounted atop the bar!”

All the Adventurers surrounded the Dragon, and slowly, over the next few hours, eventually managed to get through its hide to kill it.

Ro-Kan started talking about having the body broken down for parts, claiming bones, claws, scales, and teeth. Rat wanted the meat to be sent to the butcher’s. Turin showed some interested in the Dragon’s poison glands…

In which our heroes open a tavern

“Your payment,” said Sildar flatly, still stunned from the revelation that his former ally Iarno was actually Glass-Staff, leader of the Redbrand scum that had been terrorizing his town for months.

Nameless, Garcon, Roselyn took their gold and quickly distanced themselves from our heroes. “You guys are crazy! Who opens a second door while we’re already fighting a squadron of bugbears?! You’re suicidal! We’re leaving.”

Ten Tea-Leaf on the other hand, decided to stay on with our heroes. “You guys are crazy! Who opens a second door while we’re already fighting a squadron of bugbears?! You’re hilarious! I’m with you.”

With that, they had a new ally in their quest, and as they watched the cowardly mercenaries flee Phandalin, Ro-Kan suggested they head to the Stone Hill Inn to check on Turin.

As they entered the Stone Hill, they were met by cheering miners and a glorious feast laid out before them. Rat immediately took a running leap into the middle of the table, and plowed into a giant bowl of mashed potatoes with his filthy hands, shoveling the fluffy mixture into his tiny mouth. The rest of the party realized how hungry they were, and began to feast and drink and cheer and drink along with the miners.

A few kegs of ale later, and Rat was literally swinging from a chandelier. Ro-Kan was in the corner playing his guitar and loudly singing about the glory of the storm. Ten was playing cards with an unlucky group of drunken miners. Zex sat and drank, still solemn about his cousin’s disappearance.

A few kegs after that, the party was telling the miners (again) all about how they captured Glass-Staff. This time telling the story, the Redbrands had two dozen Minotaurs guarding their hideout.

“They’re all cowards!” Zex shouted, eliciting a rousing cheer from the miners.

“Let’s all go to the Sleeping Giant, and teach those Redbrand a lesson!” suggested Ro-Kan, again eliciting a cheer from the miners.

“Wait… where’s Turin?”

Ro-Kan turned to Ten. “Hey, we’ll go get Turin. He’s real blasty. He’s good in a fight, you’ll like him. While we’re doing that, you should see if any of these guys want to come with us.”

Ten stepped in front of the brick wall and rolled up his sleeves. A hush fell over the crowd—injuring six.

“An Orc and Elf, and a Dwarf all come upon an Efreet, who offers them one Wish apiece. The Orc goes first: ‘I wish for all the Orcs and Half-Orcs to live together in peace and prosperity in our ancestral homelands!’ The Efreet nods, and POOF!, the Orc disappears. The Elf goes next: : ‘I wish for all the Elves and Half-Elves to live together in peace and prosperity in our ancestral homelands.’ The Efreet nods, and POOF!, the Elf disappears. The Dwarf is last: ‘Let me get this straight. The Orc wished for all the Orcs to go away, and the Elf wished for all the Elves to go away?’ The Efreet nods. ‘Fuck it then, I’ll have an ale.”

“Turin! Turin! Turin! Here. Drink this.” said Ro-Kan, shaking the Warlock and holding out a bottle of Dwarven whiskey.

“What? I know you.” Turin said, as he awoke.

“Want to go kill some Redbrands?” Rat asked, eagerly.

“Yes. I don’t think I know you.”

“That’s Rat. He’s very good at killing. Here. Drink this.”

Cut to: Exterior: Phandalin Streets – Night – A few moments later

Our heroes drunkenly march down the streets of the small mining community. A handful of equally intoxicated Dwarven miners in tow.

As they approached the Sleeping Giant, they saw crates and boxes littering the road.

“Boxes?” said Ro-Kan incredulously. “They think they will stop me with mere boxes?”

“Ha! Those fools!” scoffed Rat. “I used to stack boxes for a living!”

Moving closer, they were able to identify four of the boxes as caskets.

Stepping just a bit closer, the four caskets in unison all fell open, revealing skeletons within. The skeletons all drew shortswords and stepped out into the street.

Ro-Kan, angered at this abomination, charged the skeletons. As he ran, he called out to Thor for power, and brought his hammer down onto the paving stones between the middle two skeletons. A mighty thunderclap erupted from that point, disintegrating the pair of skeletons into nothing more than a fine powder. The pair of caskets they stepped out of and the other debris littering the roadway went rocketing off in various directions from the force of the blow. Nearby windows shattered.

“So much for the element of surprise,” said Ten.

“That seemed pretty surprising to me,” replied Turin.

Now that Ro-Kan had cleared the debris from the middle of the road, they could all now see that a line of Redbrand stood some thirty feel back from their skeletal ambush.

Rat ran up next to Ro-Kan and readied himself to attack any skeleton or Redbrand that came close enough.

Zex ran past the pair of them, charging towards the line of Redbrand.

Turin spotted one Redbrand in particular who stood a foot taller than the rest. He was bare-chested, wearing the standard red cape tied about his shoulders, and carrying a massive two-handed axe, in place of the twin shortswords favored by the other Redbrand. Deciding this one was the most dangerous threat, Turin fired off a blast of crackling green energy that hit the tall Redbrand solidly in the face.

Ten shouted insults at the skeletons that approached Rat and Ro-Kan, and it seemed to help, and he slid in behind Ro-Kan, attempting to hide.

A pair of Redbrand charged the line, ignoring Zex, which seemed to anger the Dwarf further.

Ro-Kan grabbed Rat by the belt and hurled him at the incoming Redbrand. Rat flew through the air like a filthy javelin, his twin cutlasses out in front, and he speared his target through the chest with both blades. As the man sputtered, blood filling his mouth, Rat pulled his blades free and slashed the man’s throat.

Turin shot another bolt of energy that caught the giant Redbrand right in the throat, and he gurgled out his final breath.

Ten stepped out from behind the Goliath and again mocked the approaching skeletons.

The Redbrand that ran past Zex approached Ro-Kan and fell into a fighting stance.

“You look like you need a dance partner, bug guy,” he sneered at the Goliath. The Redbrand slashed at Ro-Kan’s belly, and hit twice. Ro-Kan, however, as drunk as he was did not feel a thing. But Thor took notice and saw fit to reward the Redbrand for slashing his favored follower with a massive thunderclap that rang out from where he hit Ro-Kan. The force of the thunderclap knocked his head back, and when his eyes were able to focus again, he felt blood pouring out of his ears and nose. The last thing he ever saw was Ro-Kan lifting his Maul up above his head.

When the hammer came down, it absolutely obliterated the human’s body. His head, neck, chest, and torso were splattered around the area. As the lifeless body started to slump over, Ro-Kan grabbed it by the cape and hurled it towards the other Redbrand. As the corpse spiraled through the night sky, it rained blood and gore down on the city of Phandalin.

The blood came down on Rat and Ten, as they fought a skeleton. The blood fell on Zex, as he too fought a skeleton. The bloody mess that was once a Redbrand warrior smashed onto the paving stones a few feet from the last surviving Redbrand.

Seeing this, he immediately turned tail and ran, ever the true coward. Ro-Kan quickly dropped his hammer and drew his bow. Even drunk, he was able to catch the running man in the shoulder with an arrow.

The arrow hit his shoulder, and sent him rolling, but he quickly got to his feet and continued his retreat. It seemed like he would get away, until a blast of green light popped his head like a grape.

Rat slashed out the spine of the skeleton that menaced him and Ten, sending the bones collapsing to the street.

Zex and the last skeleton were locked in combat. The drunken adventurers formed a semi-circle around the pair and cheered Zex on.

The skeleton slashed out at him, and he quickly ducked the blow. With a bellow, the Dwarf’s warhammer connected with the ribcage of the skeleton and destroyed the undead beast. Bones rained down, clattering off the stones below. Ro-Kan took a skull and affixed it to his belt.

Still hungry for a fight, Ro-Kan put his boot to the door of the Sleeping Giant. It was empty.

Zex, and Ro-Kan resumed drinking while Ten and Turin started searching for gold. Rat found himself a bottle of Ol’ Janx Spirit, easily worth 2000 gold pieces, tucked away in a case. He cracked it open and also resumed drinking.

Before long, everyone had passed out.

Morning came, and everyone began their preparations to return to the Redbrand hideout. Turin took hold of the Glass-Staff and began the process of attuning to it. Ro-Kan hung a sign on the door of the bar that read “UNDERNEWMANAGEMENT” and padlocked the door with a sturdy lock from the Provisioner. He then went to Toblin and asked for his help getting their new bar up and running. He instructed Toblin to hire the halfling woman (Karp’s mother) to redecorate the interior of the establishment, as well as to get a blacksmith and a carpenter around to make the place suitable for decent folk. They would also need to hire some miners to excavate lots more space in the cellar and add in a sub-cellar. If possible, start the process of adding a second floor as well. Set up deliveries of alcohol and food. Find us a decent bartender and some serving girls. He passed Toblin some gold for his trouble.

Our heroes headed back out to the Redbrand hideout and delved inside. Finding a room with a cool clear cistern of fresh water and no signs of life in any nearby room, Ro-Kan realized how long it had been since he had bathed in a fresh mountain stream. Stripping down, he jumped into the cistern to wash himself. Swimming down as deep as he could go, he spotted a waterproof satchel stashed there.and pulled it up. Inside, they found a small sack of coins, a pair of vials, and a clean set of traveling clothes. Ro-Kan dressed and added the satchel to his belt.

Pressing forward, they discovered a room with several empty sarcophagi. Perhaps the former resting place of the skeletons they battled last night. Listening at the door, Ten heard someone yelling for help. Bursting through the door, the party discovered a trio of prisoners in cells, collars around their necks.

Ro-Kan ripped the bars down from the first cell, and he, Zex, and Ten worked together to burst the lock on the second cell. Ten offered the prisoners food, which they gratefully accepted. Turin suggested that Ro-Kan give Rat the bag of coins from the waterproof satchel and have him escort the freed slaves back to Phandalin.

As Rat took them back to the town, the rest of the group pressed on.

There was no one else alive in the whole complex. A few secret doors yielded nothing interesting, and there were no magic items or treasure anywhere else except for a few gems Turin turned up in a former barracks.

Turin followed Rat back to town to hire a few strong men and get Zex’s cart while Zex went from room to room examining the stonework for any other secret rooms or passages we may have missed. Ten did the same, but attempting to Detect Magic in all the rooms. Ro-Kan went around the complex and moved all the crates and barrels of food, drink and other supplies to the cave entrance. When Turin returned with the cart and hirelings, they packed everything up and headed back to town, to use the former possessions of the Redbrand, who terrorized Phandalin, to stock Phandalin’s newest establishment to bring merriment to the people of Phandalin.

Dungeon Skulduggery !!!

Great session last night everyone with some smart, solid plays. I’m still tallying up the total xp (you got a LOT) so i will update later this week.

The recap:

After Roselyn and Garcon returned from dropping of the wizard known as Glasstaff (head of the Redbrand bandits) to Sildar they enjoyed a night of merriment and revelry with their companions Rylan and Donella who recently returned from truffle gathering north of town. Nursing their hangovers, the party made their way to the Townmaster’s Hall where Sildar had set up shop. After paying for the various services the party had provided, Sildar sought to explain the seeming unrelated events that had recently involved the adventures. There were two main plots:

1) Gundren Rockseeker (who originally hired the party) seeks to reopen a mine which has been lost for centuries called Wave Echo Cave. Inside is the Forge of Spells which can be used to forge magical weapons. A mysterious figure called the “Black Spider” has kidnapped Gundren and the map which leads to the mine is missing. The party now needs to find Cragmaw Castle which they have learned is the headquarters of the Spider. It is presumed that the Black Spider is a drow or “dark elf”.

2) As a member of the Lord’s Alliance Sildar has been trying to find fellow member and friend Irodar who went missing several weeks ago. His search was interrupted by Gundren’s request for help. A band of thieves called the Redbrands have also been terrorizing the town for no apparent reason. It turns out Irodar is the head of the Redbrands and has been leading them as the Wizard known as Glasstaff. Sildar is keeping Glasstaff locked up until he gathers enough evidence to try him at the lord’s alliance. He asked the party to search the rest of the Redbrand’s hideout to search for evidence. the party agreed.

Sildar also presented the wizard’s staff to Roselyn as a personal gift.

On their way out, Donella attempted to find out about a bounty posted by the Townhall Master about a group of orcs who are attacking travelers to the east of the Tri-Boar Trail. There is a 100gp reward for dealing with the orc band. A pair of ears must be brought back for each orc slain.

While Roselyn attuned herself to her new staff, Garcon rested at the inn and Donella and Rylan wandered about town looking for provisions and information. After selling a longbow to the local wood carver they visited the miner’s exchange.

The head clerk, and manager of the exchange, Hildar claimed that she was looking to hire a group of adventurers to kill Glasstaff and, provide as many details as to the workings of the Redbrand gang to her and her mysterious patrons as possible. She offered 100gp as a reward. Rylan agreed.

Wasting no time delving into the Redbrand Lair once again, the party encounter a strange, hellish cyclops-ish creature. it seems Glasstaff had paid the creature in meat and coin to guard the cave. By wielding the staff and some well placed gold coins, they struck a bargain with the creature. In the slaughter that followed blood was spilled on both sides but the party emerged triumphant. After some quick exploration, which led to some treasure, the party ended by rescuing a mother and her 2 children who were going to be sold into slavery. While unable to pay the party she told a tale in which a valuable emerald necklace was hidden in her family abandoned shop when a horde of undead raided her village.

"I grapple the Wizard"

We last left our heroes at the entrance to the Redbrand hideout. Turin and Ro-Kan decided to head into town to attempt to reconvene with Rat and Mun—they would need some help if they were to eliminate the Redbrand. Zex, however, chose to stay behind. Something had been troubling him, at first Ro-Kan had chalked it up to concern over his cousin, but now it seemed more pronounced, especially after he executed that prisoner. “I’ll stay here and watch over the cave entrance. And pray.”

Ro-Kan and Turin walked into town. Ro-Kan was electrified, eager for the coming fight with the Redbrand punks who had been ruining this town. It was several minutes of walking beside the human that he even realized that he was speaking. Muttering, more like. The language seemed to shift in and out of languages that Ro-Kan knew—Common, Giant, Dwarf—through languages he recognized—Goblin, Elven, Draconic—and into ones that he had never heard before. Dark, guttural wretchings of harsh syllables gave way to light trilling flicks of the madman’s tongue. His eyes were gouts of green smoke, thick and choking. Turin began to run through Phandalin. Ro-Kan, confused, followed after, keeping pace with the human, ready to crush his skull if he had truly lost his mind and posed a danger to the innocent.

Turin now seemed to regain some semblance of control, as his ramblings fell back into the Common tongue. He lunged at passersby and shouted at them “YOUMUSTHELPTHEM”, before letting go and sprinting down the lane again. Ro-Kan followed him into the Stonehill Inn, where he saw Turin accosting a young human in Chainmail. “YOUMUSTHELPTHEM,” he wheezed, before collapsing into Ro-Kan’s arms.

Toblin, the owner of the Stonehill Inn, came down and whisked Turin upstairs for medical treatment: bed rest and nerve tonic.

Just then, Rat appeared out of the crowd. Somehow, he had managed to blend in with the dirty, sweaty, filth-covered miners that packed the tavern’s benches. “Ro-Kan! What’s going on? You know that guy?”

Ro-Kan quickly recapped the events of the previous session, and brought Rat up to speed with their current mission of exterminating the Redbrand.

“…And so I came back to town to see if you and the Wizard made it here. We need reinforcements to destroy the Redbrand.”

Rat gave a significant look at the armored human that Turin had molested. “What about him?”

Ro-Kan put his meaty hand on the human’s shoulder.

“Ho there. I apologize for… whatever that other guy was doing. He’s not well. Now, you look like you can handle yourself in a battle.”

The human said “No worries. Yes, yes… I suppose I can.”

“So can I,” piped in a female Elf from nearby. “And so can he,” she continued, gesturing to a Halfling wrapped in a hooded cloak.

“What sort of fight are you asking us to get into?” said the finely-dressed Halfling sat across from the armored human, a pile of coin and playing cards stacked in front of him.

After some back-and-forth negotiations, Ro-Kan and Rat agreed to hire the four of the would-be adventurers to help them rid Phandalin of the Redbrand at a 10% stake each. They would head out at nightfall the next day.

Ro-Kan took Rat back to the Mayor’s manse, where Ro-Kan again spent the night in the bell-tower, while Rat found a comfortable spot under the stairs to spend the night.

The next morning, Ro-Kan checked on Turin, and then took Rat to the Provisioner to collect his payment.

After that, and a brief chat with Sildar, they met up with the Reinforcements and took them out into the woods.

As they approached the cave entrance, Ro-Kan called out to Zex. The Rockseeker made his presence known, and after a few introductions to the new hires, the group headed inside.

Rat took the point position, with Ten taking the second position. Behind them came Ro-Kan, followed by Roselyn, Garçon, and ******.

As it got darker and darker inside the cave, the Bard whistled and produced some kind of magical flying lantern, that he sent buzzing off ahead of them with merely a thought.

Entering the cavern, Ro-Kan set off to the left and went down the stairs. Garçon pushed past him and listened at the door. “This room is definitely occupied,” he said to the Goliath.

Perfect, thought Ro-Kan. Time to begin our extermination of the hated Redbrand! With merely a glance over his shoulder at Rat, Ro-Kan put his boot into the door, throwing it open violently. A trio of Bugbears were in the room, along with a Goblin, who passed out upon seeing the Goliath and his hammer.

Ro-Kan leapt into the room and bludgeoned one of the Bugbears with his hammer. Garçon charged in as well, and stabbed one in the side.

the Human Fighter charged in, with his easily forgettable name, and quickly had one of the Bugbears engaged in solo combat.

Rat scurried down the stairs after the rest of the group, but instead of turning left, he turned right, and threw open another door, revealing a quartet of Redbrand who were playing some sort of card game. The four men leapt to their feet, drew swords, and then two of them promptly fell asleep, as Roselyn waved her hands and muttered a few arcane phrases. Confused, the first Redbrand fell to Rat’s twin cutlasses rather quickly. The second turned around and woke up his fellow gang members.

The three men closed on the Halfling and the Wizard, and then Garçon leapt into the room and between the three heroes, the remaining three Redbrand stood no chance at all.

Back in the other room, Ro-Kan and Zex sat atop the corpse of a Bugbear and Ten Ten-Leaf leaned against the wall, and the three watched * the Human Fighter continue to fight the Bugbear he had first squared off against.

The rest of the team poured back in and began to cheer him on. Rat rolled a keg of ale into the room, which Zex quickly tapped and passed mugs of ale around. The cheers fell silent when Bugbear reared back and his morningstar smashed into the Fighter again and again and again, dropping him.

After a second, Rat held a mug of ale out to the Bugbear. A bit confused, the beast lowered his morningstar and took the offered beverage. Ro-Kan raised his mug in a toast, and when the Bugbear followed suit, the Goliath dropped his mug, raised his hammer and in one mighty blow, smashed the Bugbear’s skull.

One hour later, everyone had taken a quick breather and had a few drinks. The Human had been patched up, and the group felt good enough to press on. Moving through the cardroom, they came upon a Wizard’s Workshop. As Roselyn fell onto the books and instruments, Ro-Kan decided to keep moving. There were no Redbrand here, so this room did not matter. Opening the next door, he was met with the sight of a human man wrapped in a red cloak carrying a Glass Staff. This was him. The leader of these filthy dogs. Ro-Kan advanced on the man, who quickly cast some sort of binding spell at him. But Ro-Kan’s goal was in sight, and so he simply refused to be bound by the Wizard’s words. In a moment, the Goliath closed his massive fist around the Wizard’s throat and lifted him high into the air.

Rat slashed at him. Garçon stabbed at him. Zex ripped his staff from his hand. Ten managed to insult him so badly that his brain hurt.

Ro-Kan shook the Wizard around until he stopped struggling to get free, and then Rat tied him to a chair.

Glass-Staff told them that the Black Spider was a Drow, and that the Bugbears would be the ones who knew how to get to Wave Echo Cave.

With that, the group decided to bring Glass-Staff back to town and turn him over to Sildar. They would then return here to continue to eliminate the Redbrand threat.

The Cragmaw Lair!!

Congrats on reaching the end of part I everybody and of course for reaching Level 2. Yay! I will update this post with some additional information so be sure to check back.

A Brief Recap:

While Rylan and Donella guarded the wagon and oxen, the rest of the party continued onto the Goblin Lair. A clever illusion of a swarm of wasps led to a goblin sentry being discovered in the hidden blind across the river. By taking cover in the mouth of the cave, Roselyn was able to scout ahead while Garcon and Roland took care of the lone sentry.

in the small blind the party found Jeremy of Redbrook, a bombastic and arrogant fighter, who claimed he was ambushed while walking the Tri-Boar Trail. A (according to him) well known hero in his county, he agreed to help the party kill the remaining goblins.

By following the river up stream the party was able to avoid an encounter with two snarling wolves (who Roselyn almost ran into) and avoid the attentions of a lazy goblin patrolling a bride which connected two tunnels in the cave. While attempting to explore a side tunnel, Roselyn was caught in a land slide, leaving Garcon at the top of the tunnel, blind, and with a rope tied around him.

Roland, at the sound of the commotion, made an attempt to lasso the goblin sentry and failed miserably getting entangled in his own rope. Jeremy’s loud talking along with all of the commotion altered the sentry and the goblin ran off. The party narrowly managed to climb the collapsed tunnel (and dig out the wizardress) before a massive flood swept through the tunnel they had previously been in.

Finding the cooking cave, the party assaulted the two goblins they found there and almost finished them off before the 2nd in command of the hideout threatened to kill Sildar by throwing him off of a ledge. In the ensuing conversation the party learned that the Black Spider now had Gundren and “the map” and was hiding in Cragmaw castle. Nilldren the Goblin wanted the party to kill the bug bear Klarg and take his place as leader of the hideout. During the tense negotiations that followed, Jeremy attempted to reason with Nildren, these ended with no guarantees on both sides. Roland made a mad grab to pull Sildar from the ledge while Garcon shot Nilldren with an arrow. Still only semi-conscious and badly hurt from the land-slide, Roselyn managed to get off a sleep spell which knocked out Nilldren and Sildar both.

Killing Nildren, the party rested and healed up before using the information gained from the goblin to get to Klag’s Cave. Sildar promised the party that he would pay them 50 GP to get him safely to Phandalin. The party agreed.

Using the sound of a waterfall to mask his sound. Garcon was able to stealthily kill two more goblins on the way to Klarg’s cave. Upon seeing the massive bugbear leader the party wasted no time and ran in “guns-a-blazing”. A well placed sleep spell knocked out the lone goblin and Ripper, Klarg’s red wolf. Garcon followed with a critical arrow hit which blinded Klarg, almost killing him outright. Not to be outdone, Jeremy and Roland swept in, quickly dispatching the rest and finishing Klarg off, tossing his body onto his own fire pit.

With their hated foe defeated, the party looted the monster’s treasure horde and secured some packages meant for a company in Phandalin.

A new friend, a new threat...

When last we left our intrepid heroes, they were pouring triumphantly from the mouth of the goblin cave.

Sildar had stayed behind, to slaughter the unarmed, surrendered goblins that had held him prisoner.

While they waited, Ro-Kan dove into the river and splashed around for a moment before emerging, a broad smile across his face. “This has been a most glorious day!” he beamed to grumpy Mun, thoughtful Zex, and filthy Rat.

“Did you see how I smashed that puny goblin with my hammer? Thor is most pleased.”

“Good for Thor,” said Mun.

“Yes. Most good,” the Goliath agreed.

Sildar emerged from the cave and returned the bloody dagger to Ro-Kan. The group then set off down the hill back to their cart. After a few miles, Mun began rummaging through his backpack and cursing.

“Nothing,” said Mun. “Nothing at all. I just need to double-back. Don’t worry. I’ll catch up with you in Phandalin.” And before anyone could respond, he had hiked his robes up to his knees and sprinted back the way they had come.

A while later, they arrived at the cart. They untied the oxen and Whiskey, and Zex, Ro-Kan, Rat, and Sildar set off towards Phandalin.

After an hour or so on the road, the winds started picking up and rain started to pitter-patter against the top of the wagon. And since it was growing dark anyway, they decided to set up camp. Finding a nice grove off the road, they pitched the tent and started a fire. Ro-Kan trapped a few squirrels that provided some sustenance.

When they awoke in the morning, Rat and Whiskey were gone. Zex spotted a note, crudely scrawled in mud on the side of the tent: “FORGOT BROTHER’S WEDDING. MEETYOU IN FANDAPHAFANDILLINTOWN IN A FEWDAYS.”

“I suppose we’ll see him in a few days,” said Zex.

Along the way to Phandalin, Zex has relayed the information that he got from Sildar in the cave to Ro-Kan, and continued questioning Sildar about the Black Spider, Wave Echo Cave, and everything else he had learned until Sildar begged him to stop. “I’ve already told you everything, a dozen times over. You’ll have to ask other people if you want more information! Now, here we are… Phandalin! A town on the rise.”

Phandalin was, to all appearances, NOT a town on the rise. It consisted of a few homes, a handful of scattered businesses, and somewhere around 50 residents. As they rolled through town on their way to the Provisioner’s, they passed by a tavern called ‘The Sleeping Giant’.

“Yes, a tavern! Let us inside to properly celebrate our glorious victory over Klarg and his goblin scum!” said Ro-Kan.

“I am quite thirsty,” agreed Zex. And so they left the cart in the care of Sildar and started up the steps of ‘The Sleeping Giant’.

“Look at the little puppies!” came a voice out of a sack of flesh wrapped in a red cloak sitting perched atop an empty ale barrel. The redcloaked man spat at Ro-Kan’s feet.

“You got a problem, little puppy?” cackled one of the redcloaked man’s equally repugnant and equally redcloaked friends. There were four of them.

Ro-Kan attempted to walk past the ruffians, as they were not worthy of his attention. But as he did so, the leader of the group threw out an arm to block his way.

“Where you think you’re goin’?”

“I am going into this tavern for a drink,” replied Ro-Kan. And you and your little friends can’t stop me was the unspoken end of that thought that hung in the air for a brief moment before the red-cloaked man spoke again.

“No you ain’t. You want a drink? Go across town.”

Ro-Kan was taken back by the man’s willingness to threaten him, but deemed it unfair to simply crush the man’s skull, and so decided to teach him a lesson about the unpredictability of the Tempest. Ro-Kan kicked the barrel the mat sat on, cracking the wood, and sending the red-cloaked man into the barrel, ass-first. His head and feet stuck out the top of the barrel comically.

Satisfied that he had shown the ruffians that they should consider threatening someone smaller and less in Thor’s favor, Ro-Kan once again attempted to enter the tavern. After taking only a single step, however, he felt a sword bounce off his armor, and then slash back into his arm. As Thor was strongly with him after his victory at the cave, Thor made his displeasure at the ruffian attacking Ro-Kan known by sending lightning leaping down the man’s blade and up his arm. The smell of ozone filled the air as the red-cloaked nogoodnik staggered back.

Zex drew his twin handaxes and Sildar simply shrank back into the cart. An odd-looking passerby with tattered black trousers and piercing green eyes spotted this display of raw elemental power and stepped in to take a closer look. Sildar drew a longsword he had scavenged from the goblin cave and demanded the stranger stand down. The stranger looked at Sildar and asked “Why aren’t you helping your friends. They look in trouble.”

Another ruffian closed on Ro-Kan and slashed at him twice. Again, the first strike was turned aside by the Goliath’s armor, but the second stroke was true. Fighting as he was from two steps higher than Ro-Kan, this red-cloaked jerk was able to slash the Goliath’s throat, a target traditionally out of the reach of an average sized-human with a shortsword. Blood sprayed from Ro-Kan’s throat, but the well-known stone endurance of his race closed the wound almost immediately. Again, Thor signalled his displeasure at this strike at his disciple by arcing lightning down the aggressor’s sword-arm.

This was not enough to deter them, and now they started to go after Zex. Slash-slash with a shortsword was answered by a slash-slash from the Dwarf’s twin handaxes.

Ro-Kan was enraged that these puny humans had drawn weapons on him. They started a fight they were too cowardly to finish. Ro-Kan lifted the barrel containing their leader and hurled it toward the one who slashed his throat. The throatslasher rolled out of the way of the barrel, which smashed against the street, spilling the instigator out onto the cobbles.

One of the ruffians stepped in and double-slashed at Ro-Kan. One of the blades hit his femoral artery, and Ro-Kan immediately lost consciousness as blood dumped out of his leg. However, this outraged Thor, who blasted Ro-Kan’s attacker with a mighty bolt of lightning. The ruffian was launched backward by the crackling energy and lay twitching on the ground, as the pool of blood from Ro-Kan’s leg grew larger.

Zex uttered a short prayer of healing, and the flow of blood instantly stopped as Ro-Kan glowed with soft white light. Zex glowed as well, as he split the healing power of the spell between them both.

The red-cloak leader got to his feet, stepped in and thrust his sword so deep into Zex’s back that it came out the front. The Dwarf collapsed. Just as the red-cloaked men were about to celebrate, they saw Ro-Kan stagger to his feet. But how? Wasn’t he dead?

Just then, a strange man with green eyes stepped out from behind the cart in the road and blasted a strange crackling burst of green energy from his eyes. The beam exploded against the cobblestones between one of the red-cloaks and Zex, discouraging them from moving closer to the Dwarf.

“Let’s get out of here, we should tell Glass-Staff about this!” said one of the men, and at that the three remaining ruffians ran away.

Ro-Kan saw that Zex was badly injured, and so called upon Thor to lift the Dwarf back into fighting form, that he might go forth and bring the righteous fury of the Storm’s destructive wrath to those who deserve to know fear. Thor obliged.

Zex lurched upwards out his unconsciousness, swinging his axes, stopping inches from burying them into Ro-Kan’s skull.

“Thank you,” he said.

“The cowards ran away,” said Ro-Kan.

Zex sat up “I know these men. They call themselves the Redbrand. They are a group of thieves, kidnappers, murderers, slavers, and rapists. They bring fear, sadness, and death wherever they go. It would be a glorious pursuit to destroy them.”

Ro-Kan turned to the strange man who still stood by the cart. “You there, green-eyed human! You stepped forward in courage when no one else would. Come join us for a drink.”

“I’d love a drink,” said the human.

“They’re on him,” said Ro-Kan, pointing at the bulging purse attached to the belt of the still-twitching red-cloak Thor saw fit to electrocute.

To say “The Sleeping Giant” is a rough bar is an understatement. The thieves, kidnappers, murderers, slavers, and rapists that Zex had just described, they ran this bar. This was a bar where the scum of the Realms could go to let their hair down and really be themselves.

The door burst open and everyone turned to look. First through was a Dwarf, blood still dripping from the handaxes tucked into his belt. Second to enter was a Human with bright green eyes and a heavy crossbow strapped to his back. Behind them came a Goliath, who had to stoop to get through the doorway. He had an enormous two-handed Maul across his back, and in his hand he held a dying red-cloaked man. The trio approached the bar, and Ro-Kan threw the unconscious body onto the bar itself, as nonchalantly as if he were dropping a bit of coin.

“Three pitchers,” he said to the barmaid.

Across the room, a table of Redbrand were glaring at the three of them. Giving them the stink-eye. There was one Redbrand at the table that was bit older than the others, maybe appearing to have a bit of authority. His cloak was nicer than his compatriots’ certainly. Ro-Kan pulled a bit of coin from the dead man’s purse to pay for their pitchers, and ordered another one to be sent to the older Redbrand.

When the barmaid brought it over to him, he was confused. The whole table was. The whole bar. Why would this group come into this bar flaunting that they had killed a Redbrand, and then buy them a drink?

Zex took his pitcher and walked over to the table. He picked up the pitcher they had just sent over and smashed both of them into the sides of the old Redbrand’s head. The man crumpled to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. The six other Redbrand men at the table lunged for the Dwarf, but before they could grab him the door burst open again.

Sildar walked in with a group of other men. “Ho there! The town elders wish to speak with you.”

Ro-Kan finished his pitcher and smashed it down on the skull of the dead Redbrand sprawled across the bar. Zex extricated himself from the men at the table and marched out. Ro-Kan and the green-eyed man followed.

The Stonehill Inn was a stark contrast to The Sleeping Giant. Warm, cozy, comfortable. The group sat drinking pitcher after pitcher and conversing with the town fathers.

They had heard about the fight, and were quick to hire our heroes to eliminate the Redbrand menace. “As long as I get to kill some Redbrand,” said Zex.

Also, there’s some Orcs that need dealing with. And there’s a Well north of town with some undead around…

The party convinced the Town Master to pack up his family and leave town until the Redbrand are dealt with, which he was more than happy to do. Ro-Kan himself was astonished that this man was the Town Master. “Why are you in charge? You’re so weak and stupid, and you’ve allowed the Redbrand to run roughshod over the people of your town.”

When he packed up and left, the party took over his home at the center of town, with Ro-Kan taking up residence in the top of the bell-tower, so he could be closer to the sky. This also doubled as giving him a perfect view of the abandoned manor-house on the edge of town which is known to be the Redbrand’s base of operations..

At this point, the green-eyed Warlock introduced himself as Turin Gull, a Sailor who was lost at sea and saw things that Man Was Not Meant To See. He has since been traveling from mining town to mining town searching for the visions he sees in his dreams.

When the Town Master left town, Turin went after him, just to make sure he really left, while Zex and Ro-Kan took the cart to the Provisioner, to collect their payment and maybe gain some intel.

Turin observed the Town Master have a secret meeting with Sildar on the edge of town before leaving, he then ran across the street to join up with the others. As he pushed open the door, he heard the Provisioner say “That’s too bad about Gundren. He’s a good fellow. I hope nothing too bad happened to him. You know, there’s a campsite not far from here with a few more Rockseekers. Maybe they know something? Or maybe you could go talk to the Halfling family on the edge of town. I heard they might have seen a thing or two.”

Cut to: Halfling home.

Ro-Kan is sitting on a crate outside the house, eating stew from a pot. Turin is inside, stooped over, and Zex moves with ease through the Halfling-sized domicile. The Halfling lady is a widow raising a young boy who wants to be an adventurer. His father was killed by the Redbrand and so he has taken to spying on them. The boy, Karp, claims to have discovered a secret entrance to their hideout, and agrees to show them the way. Ro-Kan, pleased by the young boy’s adventurous spirit invites him to come stay with them for a few days, to see how adventurers really prepare for a battle.

The mother informs the group about the Druid Rydoth who runs a Temple nearby.

Cut to: Town Master’s Home – Belltower

After three hours of watching the Redbrand hideout, it becomes clear that they ONLY use the secret entrance in the wilderness for their comings and goings and ignore the manor entirely.

Cut to: The Wilderness, outside of town

“This is the spot!” said Karp, the young Halfling boy, excitedly. “They come in and out through that opening there!”

Turin pulled the boy aside. “If anything happens, if there’s any trouble at all, you run and you hide. You got that?”

“Yes, sir…” said Karp.

“Of course he gets it, Gull. The boy is a natural adventurer. Here, Karp, take this dagger. Treat it well, and someday you may use it to protect your family.”

The boy was thrilled to have been given a real dagger by a real adventurer. “Wow!”

“Now, let’s find a place to watch the entrance,” Gull suggested.

Cut to: The WIlderness, several hours later

Our heroes, and young Karp were hidden in the brush. They had been there for most of the day and were watching the traffic come and go in and out of the cave mouth. They had a good idea of the flow of traffic and so decided to head back to town to get ready.

Cut to: The Provisioner

Our heroes enter and purchase several items, including Healing Potions, a crowbar, some oil, and several hunting traps.

Ro-Kan finally opened the small chest he had taken from Klarg and found two more healing potions within, along with a jade statuette of a frog with golden eyes.

At that signal, Ro-Kan and Turin, both well-skilled at setting traps set up the hunting traps they bought in town and cover them with fallen leaves. Just as they return to Zex and Karp in the hiding place, two torches become visible through the trees.

Two Redbrand approach, laughing and joking with each other about some nonsense or other until—

As they begin to scream in shock, pain, and fear, Ro-Kan charges in swinging his Maul and turns one of the men’s heads into a distant memory. He says to the second Redbrand “Stop screaming or your head is next!”

Turin steps forward and his eyes emit a small trail of green smoke… if you weren’t looking closely, you would miss it. At that instant, the Redbrand’s screams turn to whimpers, as he begins to clutch at the sides of his skull, as though trying to release something from within his own mind. He “runs” away from Turin, awkwardly clomping about ten feet from where he started, the farthest the chain on the hunting trap will allow him to move. He then drops to one knee and tries to pry the trap open. Zex throws a handaxe, burying it into the man’s shoulder, ruining his attempts to force the trap open. Just as he begins to scream again, Ro-Kan steps in behind him, clamps a hand over his mouth, and lifts him high into the air.

Zex walked over to the man being held aloft by the Goliath, reached up, and pulled his axe out of his body, twisting the blade slightly, to inflict a bit more pain onto the defiant prisoner.

Turin locked his otherworldly eyes on the man and calmly told him that if he wanted to keep all of his limbs attached to his torso that he would tell us everything he knew about the tunnel, the lair within, his leaders, the Redbrand, security of the lair, how he gets paid, how they recruit new members, Glass-Staff, and how they picked Phandalin.

The man promptly shat himself, and then answered all of the Warlock’s questions. The tunnel led to the lair, which is guarded by an “eye monster”. There are bugbears inside. And skeletons. As well as prisoners and slaves. Glass-Staff is a human wizard who carries a glass staff.

When it became clear that he had no more information to offer, Zex split his skull open with an axe.

At that point, the party agreed they might be best suited by waiting for Mun and Rat to rejoin them before pressing into the cave…

The Crushing of Klarg

Zex Rockseeker, cousin of Gundren, found himself alone in the wilderness. Again. His last traveling companion had not seen it worth his time to accompany the Cleric on “family business.” It didn’t matter that Zex knew his cousin Gundren was sure to pay handsomely for any assistance they offered. The promise of danger sent his fellows scurrying back to the temple. No matter, he thought. I’ll help him myself. With a Dwarfly grunt, he set about the task of cooking breakfast for himself.

As his side of bacon began to crackle over the fire, Zex spotted a very strange sight indeed. A head. Big, by the look of it. Followed shortly by a body, just as big. A Stone Giant, perhaps? He got his Warhammer ready. What would bring a Stone Giant this far out of the mountains?

The creature spoke. “Ho there, Dwarf!”

Zex hesitated a moment… “Ho there.”

“Are you kin to Gundren Rockseeker?”

Zex knew that Gundren had friends all over the Realms, but this… thing? “I am.”

“Well met, friend! I am Ro-Kan Ogalakanu, but you can call me Stormcaller. Remember the name. It will be sung about for ages. I have received a letter from your cousin, instructing me to meet you along this road. He has been good to my clan, and in return, I will aid him in his time of need.”

Zex looked him up and down. Seven and a half feet of solid muscle, this one. Skin like a boulder. The hammer slung across his back was bigger than the Dwarf’s whole body. How much trouble is Gundren in, that he sought help from this one? Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not going there alone.

“Very well. I am Zex. Would you join me for breakfast?”

“Yes, yes, let us feast!” With that, the Goliath disappeared into the forest. Zex was puzzled, but mere minutes later Ro-Kan returned carrying a brace of rabbits he had caught. In a flash, the massive creature had skinned them, skewered them, and had them roasting over the fire.

“Hello? Hello there!” the voice came from behind the Dwarf’s cart. A strange bronze-skinned man stepped out, with circles inscribed on his forehead. He clutched a pair of glass orbs in one hand, and spun them around one another. “Is this your cart? I need a ride.”

The human stopped when he saw the pair that he addressed, a strange sight indeed, with the Goliath dwarfing the Dwarf.

“Ah. Are you the cousin of Gundren Rockseeker, by chance?”

“I am,” Zex replied.

“Then the honor is all yours, I’m sure. I am the Mighty Mun Mekhtetmo, wizard and free man of ancient Mulhorand, that earthly paradise, and I have this letter.”

As the unlikely group ate (Ro-Kan decided he needed to catch some fish for the new member of their team), it quickly became obvious that a rainstorm was going to hit them, and make pressing forward difficult. At his smaller companions insistence, Ro-Kan pulled a sizable tent from his backpack and quickly set it up, driving stakes into the earth with his massive two-handed Maul. The wizard quickly scrambled into the tent and zipped it closed, lest a drop of rain or speck of mud touch his clean white robes. Zex grumbled in the way that only a Dwarf can, and sought shelter beneath his cart. Ro-Kan climbed on top of a nearby boulder, brought out a guitar and played a blazing tune to welcome in the storm.

Rat was tired, and hungry, and he didn’t want to get wet. He kicked Whiskey, his pony, in the ribs. Whiskey did not go any faster. Or straighter. Rat knew he smelled cooked food up ahead, they just needed to get there. As they reached the top of the hill, Whiskey stopped altogether. Damn ungrateful, lazy pony. I’ve given you half me whiskey! Rat rolled off the drunk pony, and jerked the reins forward. He saw a cart. With oxen. Loaded with supplies. Maybe they had blankets! And tents! And food!

As Rat got closer, he spotted a pair of boots sticking out from under the cart. With a quick peek under, he saw a Dwarf snoring in the dust. Moving around the back, he saw a tent. Here we are, thought the filthy halfling. The money man. I’ll get him to hire me on as a bodyguard. Dangerous roads out here. And if he doesn’t want to hire me, I’ll show him just how dangerous these roads can be…

“Hullo in there!”

“What?” came the angry reply.

“Noble sir, is this your tent?”

“I’m in it, aren’t I?”

Mun threw the flap open and peered out. He saw a filthy halfling, who carried twin cutlasses covered in dried blood. The wear on the handles of those blades told Mun that the little guy would have no hesitation about using them.

“You should hire me as a bodyguard.”

“Check around back.”

Rat walked around the backside of the tent and was greeted by an angry Goliath.

“I know that smell anywhere! GOBLIN!” Ro-Kan’s hand lashed out at Rat, who spun out of the massive man’s grasp. Ro-Kan drew his hammer and Rat’s twin cutlasses appeared in his hands.

“Mun! There’s a Goblin out here!” Ro-Kan shouted at the tent.

“I know. I sent him ’round to you. He wants a job.”

“I’m NOT a Goblin.”

“You smell like one.”

“I’ve been travelling. I’m on a very important job. I have a letter!”

They confirmed it. Gundren had issued letters to all of them. Just then, the skies opened up, thunder and lightning, wind and rain all came crashing down around them. The human sat in the giant-sized tent, while the Dwarf and Halfling got to know one another under the cart. The Goliath shredded into the howling storm. And though the weather was furious, as Zex heard Ro-Kan playing along to the storm, he felt something truly divine.

Once the storm ended a few hours later, they packed up their tent and set out along the road. Zex drove the oxen, Mun rode next to him in the cart. Whiskey waddled alongside with Rat perched atop, and Ro-Kan picked his way across the landscape, moving along just inside the treeline. After a few hours of travel, they spotted a pair of horses in the middle of the road. Zex stopped the cart, passed the reins to Mun and leapt down to inspect the horses. Ro-Kan ran up to join him. Zex used the edge of his axe to scrape a sheave of dried blood and muck off one of the horse’s rear ends.

“I know this brand. This is Gundren’s horse.”

As the pair examined the mutilated horse corpses, arrows streaked out of the trees. One stuck in Ro-Kan’s armor. Another thudded into the wood of the cart just beside Mun’s head.

Thinking quickly, Ro-Kan and Mun both swiveled. The Goliath called in a dense fog to obscure the left side of the road and the human dropped a thick cloud on the right side. If the hidden archers couldn’t see them, they couldn’t hit them.

The plan to stop the ranged assault obviously worked, because it quickly turned into a melee ambush. Goblins streamed out of the fog on both sides. One leapt out of a tree toward Ro-Kan and Zex, a trio descended on Mun, and a pair went toward the Halfling. Mun dropped to the road and crawled under the cart, to try to get away from the Goblins, but they latched onto him. One slashed him in the throat. Another started trying to climb up the inside of his robe.

The one leaping through the air toward Ro-Kan, sword drawn, screeching a Goblin battlecry was about to get a lesson in humility. With barely a thought, the Goliath took up his Maul and with a great overhand swing, connected with the beast as it began its descent. With a sound not all that dissimilar to a canvas sack stuffed too full of rotten tomatoes bursting apart at the seams, the Goblin was changed from shrieking warrior to chunky salsa in a matter of an instant. Ro-Kan charged back to the cart to help his companions.

Zex saw what was happening back at the cart and ran back to help. He threw a handaxe and buried it into the wood of the cart, narrowly missing the Goblin trying to rip off Mun’s face.

Rat made good use of his twin cutlasses. The swirling blades sent several Goblins to their graves. Under the cart, Mun was scrambling, trying to get the hideous creatures off him. He grabbed one by the face and launched a Fire Bolt down his throat, but even that wasn’t enough. Rat charged in and slashed one off of Mun. As the other turned to face the Halfling, he saw the bloody pair of cutlasses in his hands, and the massive Goliath with the massive hammer coming up behind him, and the pissed off Dwarf coming behind him, and decided to turn tail and run. The coward grabbed the other surviving Goblin, and together they disappeared into the forest.

“After them!” shouted Ro-Kan as he ran off, eager to crush a few more goblin skulls.

“Grab my handaxe!” shouted Zex as he followed.

Rat pulled the axe out of the cart and looked at Mun. Together, they moved the Dwarf’s cart off the road and tied the oxen up before setting after the others.

The pair of them arrived just in time to see Ro-Kan fall into a pit trap. He managed to avoid getting snared in the netting the Goblins had rigged, but he still dropped into the pit. A moment later, he popped back out, looking no worse for the wear.

Must be that stone skin he’s got, thought Zex.

After falling into the pit, Ro-Kan was less enthusiastic about being the first one up the path, and so Rat took the lead. Before long, he fell into a pit trap as well.

“It seems like they took the time to trap the path,” said Mun, derisively.

Half an hour later, the sun began to set, and the group had not fallen into any more pits. They stood at the forest’s edge looking at a river flowing out of a cave’s mouth.

“This must be where the vile beasts ran. Vermin always crawl back into the ground,” said Ro-Kan. Zex shot him a sideways glance. “Not to say that everyone who lives underground is vermin…”

They approached the mouth of the cave, moving quietly. Ro-Kan pulled out a Longbow that looked like a Shortbow in his massive grip. Rat held a hand crossbow and followed closely behind. Just inside the cave opening, they spotted a pair of Goblins. Their pair of Goblins? No matter. Ro-Kan fired an arrow, skewering a Goblin through the eyesocket and pinning him to the wall, his body twitching in its death throes like a macabre marionette. Before the second Goblin could even register what happened to its partner, a halfling-sized crossbow bolt pierced his throat, painting the wall arterial red.

The group pressed into the cave, eventually coming to a room with a fissure in the far wall, and a pair of wolves chained up in the middle. They looked hungry. Very hungry. And they were eager to see the meat that just walked into their room.

“Maybe if we gave them some trail rations, maybe some dried meat…” said Mun, looking through his bag for something suitable.

Ro-Kan reached into his pack and pulled out some of the cooked fish from breakfast and threw it at the wolves. They descended on it, greedily tearing at the first meal they’d had in days. While the wolves ate, the four adventurers quickly moved past them and entered the fissure.

They emerged in a room packed with boxes of supplies. As they stepped out of the wall, a voice challenged them in Goblin: “Nixkedalthoremaka-Klarg?!” Mun translated: “He said ‘Who dares disturb the mighty Klarg?!’”

Then they saw him. A massive 9-foot tall Bugbear, carrying an enormous Morningstar shifted in his makeshift throne, cobbled together from crates and barrels looted from travelers and merchants along the road. He stood and shrieked angrily.

A pair of Goblins burst into the room with a wolf on a chain. It looked hungry.

Ro-Kan stared Klarg in his yellow eyes and bellowed “Klarg! I am the Stormcaller, and I challenge you to face me alone. Translate, human!”

Mun translated Ro-Kan’s challenge into Goblin.

Before Klarg could indicate if he accepted or declined, the wolf snapped it jaws around Ro-Kan’s leg. Lucky for Ro-Kan, his stone skin protected him, and when he shook the creature off his leg, Klarg grabbed it and snapped its neck. Klarg spoke, and Mun translated.

“He accepts.”

Rat, Zex, and Mun very quickly dispatched the pair of Goblins. Zex called down Sacred Flames to burn them, as Rat slashed at them and Mun blasted Fire Bolts. Once the pair was dead, they sat on crates to watch the duel.

Ro-Kan opened by calling upon Thor to guide his hammer. A flash of light burst out of his hand and streaked into Klarg’s face, illuminating him from within with silver fire. Klarg howled in pain and swung his giant morningstar. Ro-Kan knocked the blow aside with his Maul and raised it high. When he smashed his hammer into Klarg’s shoulder, the silver fire flared out, and with a ripping sound, Klarg’s right arm dropped limply to his side. Klarg swung one-handed, but his morningstar just scraped uselessly against Ro-Kan’s armor. The Goliath stepped forward and swung again, and again, hammering at the Bugbear’s torn shoulder.

“SUBMIT!” Ro-Kan shouted in his face.

“Zal!” Mun translated from the side of the room.

But Klarg would not submit. Klarg tried once more to swing his giant weapon one-handed, and once more he failed. Ro-Kan would have no more of this. With an underhand swing, he brought his hammer up and connected squarely with Klarg’s jaw. With a crunching sound, Klarg’s eyes lost their rage, and his body slumped lifelessly to the ground. Ro-Kan spied the colorful scarf that Klarg wore around his neck, and took it as a trophy, tying it around his waist.

Mun and Rat quickly searched the corpses and a few of the crates for anything worthwhile. Zex scoured the room looking for some sign of Gundren or his companion, Sildar. Ro-Kan just followed them all around excitedly recapping his duel with Klarg, as if they hadn’t just seen it.

After the searches proved fruitless, the quartet pressed on, crossing a rickety bridge and finding themselves on a platform overlooking a dozen or so Goblins who were taking orders from one who dressed a little fancier than the others. Feeling invulnerable after crushing Klarg, Ro-Kan took a flying leap off the platform and brought his Maul down onto the head of the fancy Goblin, spraying blood and gore on the stunned underlings.

Immediately, they dropped their weapons and began to beg for their lives. Mun translated for the group:

“They say that you don’t want them. You want Klarg. … Maybe I should tell them what happened to Klarg.”

Ro-Kan nodded and as Mun jabbered in the Goblin tongue, the Goliath pointed to the colorful scarf he had taken off the Bugbear. The Goblins grew quiet.

Zex and Rat explored around the corner, finding Sildar tied to a post.

Zex questioned him about the whereabouts of his cousin, finding some useful information. As Sildar and the group readied to leave the cave, Sildar questioned whether we should leave the Goblins who had treated him so poorly alive. Ro-Kan, not wanting to kill them after they surrendered and were unarmed—even Goblins—simply handed a dagger to the human and walked out.

Session 1

Recap:
The party first met with the dwarf Gundren in a tavern located in the metropolitan city of Neverwinter. Despite initial apprehensions, the party decided to accept the dwarf’s offer based off of their previous relationships (some of which might have been of a less savory or legal nature). The mission: to escort a cart of supplies from Neverwinter to Philandrin, a small border settlement a few days away. The reward: 10 gold pieces each upon completion. While Gundren went on ahead with his human bodyguard Sildar, the party was to follow at a slower pace with the cart.

A few days on the Triboar Trail led to an uneventful journey, and Roselyn made a thorough search of the cart’s contents. The party was puzzled by the inclusion of a massive amount of provisions and seeming innocuity of the overall shipment. Nothing in the cart pointed towards what Gundren had referred to as “a big find”.

Rylan provided crucial scouting duties ahead of the rest of the party while Roland drove the cart and oxen. Scouting around a bend in the road, the high elf discovered two dead horses riddled with black feathered arrows. He returned to the party to tell of his find, and Roland, in a moment of perfect recollection, recalled that goblins were the most likely culprit. After some discussion over how to move the two dead horses, the party (sans Roland) advanced to clear the path. Donella and Garcon went to move the horses while Rylan and Roselyn stood guard in the wood. Donella instantly recognized the smaller of the two horses as belonging to Gundren and Garcon found an empty saddlebag and map case. Before this information could be properly assimilated, four goblins burst from the forest to ambush the party.

In the subsequent melee blood was shed on both sides. While Rylan nimbly avoided the press of two goblins, Roselyn unsuccessfully dueled an archer despite blasting him with frost and missile. Donella and Garcon proved unstoppable, as the two half-folk dispatched half of the opposing force. Donella was able to keep the goblins at bay with her whip while Garcon dealt incredible amounts of damage from behind with his blade. Some solid tactics (and an incredible leap across the dead horses by Garcon) feared an opposing archer into fleeing. Meanwhile Roland, having heard the cry of battle, managed to arrive in time to (after a rocky start) assist Roselyn in killing the last goblin.

After some hurried discussion the party gave chase after their feeling foe along a small foot path. The party ran hard with Rylan at their head, dodging a clever snare trap, but falling prey to a pit dug in the road. Finally Roselyn, fed up with the bumbling attempts to catch the creature, cast a simple sleep spell allowing its capture. Some interrogation (made easy by Roselyn’s linguistic skill) led the party to the following information:

Sildar is being held captive in the “eating cave” of the Crawmaw lair just up the footpath. This lair is run by Klug who is a “bugbear”

The dwarf was probably taken to Crawmaw Castle which is run by King Glar, and is to the northwest of the ambush site.

Leading the goblin like the animal it was, the party advanced down the footpath again, making sure to tie and camouflage the cart the cart. Upon reaching a clearing, Razortooth broke free and alerted two archers on the far bank of a small stream. In the ensuing fight, Garcon snuck into the bushes and ambushed the goblins, while Roselyn was brought close to death. The party returned to their wagon to rest.