Fashion Fail! Dear Daughter.. Don't Ever Do These!

Over the weekend, my beautiful daughter and I undertook the Herculean task of back-to-school shopping. I sort of like shopping, when I’m by myself and shopping for myself. Actually, I don’t even mind shopping for the kids, but that’s becoming a tricky proposition as they get older.

But Casey is now becoming a bit of a clotheshorse, only the type that needs to be led to water. That means the shopping trips have me doing all the work. “How’s this? “What about this one?” “Do you like this?”, all of which are met with a monosyllabic grunt, a roll of the eyes or just a deep and heavy sigh. Sounds as much fun as a barrel of monkeys, right?

Given that reality I’m not sure how she talked me into going to the land of the Gucci-clad but she did, so off we went to one of the largest outlet malls in the Tri-State area. What transpired was less money-saving and more memory-inducing. Bad, bad memories.

See, I am a geek. I was born a geek, was a geeky teenager, who became a geeky adult and, by the grace of God, found a geeky mate. My high school career was punctuated by a number of humiliating experiences; dateless for four years, plagued with bad hair, and the only one cut from the flag team (I went out for the flag team because I thought the odds were in my favor. Sadly they were not). I was always just one season behind the most popular fashions, the narrative of my life.

Now that I have a daughter, I am determined that she not have to do through that social ostracizing. I can hear you now, worried that I’m placing too much emphasis on the superficial. I can assure you I am not; we talk about beauty emanating from the inside. But I also don’t see the harm in saving her from some of the sartorial stumbles I made.

Here they are.. Fashion Fails I hope my daughter never makes.

The fanny pack 1 of 7

Marketed as a convenient, hands-free way to carry your stuff, they really didn't look good on anyone. And definitely not when paired with a dress, as was the case here.

Leather, fringe, white tennis shoes 2 of 7

Honestly, there are so many things wrong with this picture I don't know where to start. Mark the entire thing as bad. Very, very bad.

Too-light make-up 3 of 7

Yes I was on
television. Yes, I thought more powder meant a better look. Sadly, it does not.

Over-tweezed brows 4 of 7

When I was in the 8th grade, my mother let me pluck my own eyebrows. "Less is more" does not apply here.

Over-drawn brows 5 of 7

Too little or too much, I'm not really sure which is worse. They're both bad

High-waisted jeans 6 of 7

Dark green and with peg legs? And flat shoes? Daughter, do yourself a favor; buy a full-length mirror and don't ever put together an ensemble like this.

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.