Re: Rant about your In-Laws

I was going to ask if anyone had ever considered that there may be mental illness at play here. Guilt, more times than not, is such a useless and draining emotion. You can add jealousy and envy to my list, too. Ho hum, wake me when it's over.

I remember not having any real peace until my MIL died. Ah yes...such is life. Remember I told you guys that I broke out into the MC Hammer dance?

Re: Rant about your In-Laws

Originally Posted by prhoshay;3409258;

I was going to ask if anyone had ever considered that there may be mental illness at play here. Guilt, more times than not, is such a useless and draining emotion. You can add jealousy and envy to my list, too. Ho hum, wake me when it's over.

I remember not having any real peace until my MIL died. Ah yes...such is life. Remember I told you guys that I broke out into the MC Hammer dance?

I felt the same way. Our lives have been so much more peaceful since the inlaws passed and I cut my toxic sister out of my life.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that felt that way. And I don't feel guilty about it either. My MIL was a miserable person and wanted everyone to be miserable along with her.

I think some people are just flawed. Whether it's mental illness or just a flaw. A lot of women don't think that any woman their son brings home is good enough and I also know that some mothers are extremely jealous of the wives because they took the baby boy away. It could be some of that.

Re: Rant about your In-Laws

No, but she ate tomato aspic which is probably very similar to tomato pudding. She never lifted her finger in her life, so doubt she EVER did any painting. My dad said they were the ONLY family in town during the depression that had a maid and a cook and it wasn't because they could afford them, it was because my grandmother did NOT cook or clean or raise her own children. She played bridge and got her hair done and made everyone around her miserable.

Re: Rant about your In-Laws

I had two sets of in laws. My first MIL was my dear friend until the day she died. Her husband was a very odd duck. I can't say that I actually liked him and I don't know of anyone who did. I didn't dislike him, just had very little feeling either way. My second set of in laws was exactly opposite. He was my buddy and she was ..... not. He and I constantly joked and they went right over her head. She prided herself on the fact that she'd never read a book in her life except the Bible. I don't think she understood anything she read in it. Going to her house got so stressful that I stopped going. My husband would go and she would always ask where I was. I told him to tell her I was at home. Where the hell did she THINK I was? Our son was over thirty years old when she died and she never called him by his correct name. She never called his little boy by any name at all.

Re: Rant about your In-Laws

My in-laws moved down to Florida twenty years ago....and that's still not far enough away!....but come back up here at least once a year. They stay at a daughter's house for part of that time, a son's house for the rest. MIL would take all the granddaughters out shopping, a girls day out kind of thing, but never included my two even though she said she would. FIL still to this day has never called me by my name....I am just "her" and we will be married 29 years in June!

I put up with their crap for the first 8 years and then said no more. If they are up here and hubs wants to go see them, I stay home. If the kids want to go, they go. I still stay home. I have gone to milestone events like their 50th anniversary and their 75th bday parties. FIL turned 80 last year and if there was a party, we weren't invited. MIL turns 80 this month, so if there is a party this summer, we'll go....if we are invited!

One of my husband's nephews got married on our anniversary two years ago and we were not invited to the wedding. The in-laws were up for that wedding but never called or stopped by to see us. I know that the sibs have had parties where we were not invited. It is one thing to be invited and cannot attend due to other circumstances, but to be excluded is something else!

Hubby feels so much closer to my family than his own. So his not being included in his family's goings on doesn't bother him. It bugs me though that they treat him like that. We get a Christmas card from just his parents. None of his sibs. On his birthday only his parents send a card. None of his sibs do nor do they call. And they all live within 20 minutes of here!

Re: Rant about your In-Laws

This thread makes me extremely thankful that I get along wonderfully with my inlaws!!

Lil Bit,
It does sound like reconciliation may be impossible with your MIL. I hope you and your family are able to figure out a way to avoid spending time with her while causing a minimum amount of stress to everyone involved!