So ḥarām it’s ḥalāl

Muslim cleric condemns altruist attacks

A prominent Muslim cleric has issued a fatwā condemning Islamic altruism in the wake of the recent attacks on US blood banks.

In a statement released earlier today, Dr Abu Bakir al-Baghdadi described the situation in Orlando as a “humanitarian disaster”, and slammed Majlis Alealaqat Al’amrikiat Al’iislamia – the group responsible for the attacks – as “fundamentally un-Islamic.”

Dr al-Baghdadi also asserted that those who answered the aforementioned organisation’s calls for blood aren’t “real Muslims”, and for that reason, urged the media to refrain from referring to acts of Islamic altruism as Islamic.

These extremists do not speak for me, nor do they represent my religion. #NotInMyName.

– Dr al-Baghdadi, Twitter

As many students of history have astutely noted, however, this won’t be the last time ṣadaqāhists wreak havoc on Western soil, and nor was it first.

Indeed, late last year, members ofMan Hu Husayn – a ṣadaqāhist organisation inspired by the radical teachings of Imam Hussain ibn Ali, unleashed a devastating altruist assault on the city of Flint, Michigan.

Likewise, Almadaa Bila Mawaa – a group of Australian fanatics with ties to the Masjid Al Noor mosque in South Granville, is alleged to have orchestrated and carried out a series of coordinated attacks targeting civilians in the western suburbs of Sydney.

Consequently, many of Dr al-Baghdadi’s critics have accused the world-renowned exegete of invoking the No True Muslim fallacy.

“If ṣadaqāhism has absolutely nothing to do with the doctrine of Islam, why do the perpetrators of altruist attacks always say ‘Allāhu akbar’ before committing acts of altruism? The truth is, a hundred per cent of ṣadaqāhists are Muslims. That’s just a fact – there’s no way around it,” said journalist Glenn Greenwald.

“When a Christianist perpetrates an act of altruism in the name of his Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, left-leaning political pundits are more than happy to take him at his word. But when a ṣadaqāhist perpetrates an act of altruism in the name of the Prophet Muḥammad, these same ‘experts’ refuse to believe he believes what he says he believes. Why is that?”

As far as neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris is concerned, however, Middle-Eastern occupation of the West is to thank for Islamic altruism, not scripture. On the latest instalment of his Waking Up podcast, Harris highlighted the pivotal role socioeconomic and geopolitical factors play in the radicalisation of second- and third-generation Muslim immigrants, before explicitly implying that Greenwald molests children.

“Every single day [in America] Christianist organisations like The Salvation Army commit acts of altruism, and yet it’s often rare that these incidents hit the headlines. In the event that they do make the news, however, one can’t help but notice the emergence of an alarming trend: Christianist attacks are downplayed, ṣadaqāhist attacks are sensationalised,” Harris said.

“Why does the media consistently use different language when discussing different crimes? Why is it that a group of [Christianist] lone wolves that acts together is called a charity, but a lone [ṣadaqāhist] lone wolf who acts alone is called an altruist? It’s gross, it’s racist.”

Unsurprisingly, Greenwald’s talking monkey Murtaza Hussain leapt to his owner’s defence, hitting back at Harris, and claiming that the New York Times bestselling author had consciously and maliciously taken Greenwald’s comments out of context in an effort to misrepresent his views and thereby destroy his reputation.

“No sane, rational person could possibly read what [Greenwald] wrote and think. He wasn’t saying that we should thank all Muslims for the actions of a few, what he was actually saying is that a straight line can be drawn from belief to behaviour.”

Nevertheless, according to Dr al-Baghdadi – who graduated from the Islamic University of Baghdad in 2000 with a BA, MA and PhD in Islamic studies – altruism has no basis in Islamic doctrine.

“Where in al-Qurʾān does Allāh instruct true believers to feed homeless kuffār? Where in the ʾAḥādīth does the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, instruct true believers to donate 30,000 bottles of water to The Red Cross? And where in the Al-sīra al-Nabawiyya does the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, instruct true believers to give blood? If Islam really did breed altruism, we’d all be alive right now.”

2 thoughts on “Muslim cleric condemns altruist attacks”

I have only been awake for about 15 minutes when reading this, but i’m pretty sure my brain works well enough to absorb rational writing. this article is absurd, schizophrenic and frightening. who are you?

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