Poor Prince William must be feeling a tad neglected. The future "Mrs Windsor" has had the likes of Karl Lagerfeld and Christian Lacroix fantasy-designing her wedding dress (latest news: could very possibly be designed by Bruce Oldfield, after Mama Middleton and little sis Pippa were spotted in his shop over the weekend). Fashion gossip about the royal groom's sartorial plans for the big day has been virtually non-existent, save for an extraordinarily long, tall tale about a tailor in a village in Puglia, in southern Italy, supposedly making the wedding-day shirt.

"With royal marriage in the air, who would you choose to be your bridegroom? Come on girls, our catwalk is your chance to dream", read the show notes to her collection, which debuted as part of Milan Menswear Fashion Week yesterday. And, boy, has Dame Viv dreamed - of all sorts of mad designs. Baggy checked pantaloons, patterned granddad cardies, double denim…traditional this ain't. We know the wedding's in April, but someone should tell her Fools' Day is on the 1st...

Not that we see William deviating from something more adventurous than a morning suit in grey or military uniform, but we did glean more Royal Wedding-friendly garbs, such as pinstriped and tweed suits, and one particular fetching sky-blue number. (He may want to avoid the, er, burgundy lipstick and Marcel-waved hair sported by the models though.) But as far as the other stuff goes, there isn't a lot fit for the Prince.