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New fight against cancer charity raffle!

02/10/2009 -- Raffle # 1 is now closed.

Raffle # 2 is now closed.

Thanks to all who have participated!

To my dear friends and family…

I lost my father one month ago, thus concluding a dramatic 5 year battle against cancer. He was only 66. Most days are still cloudy and depressing for me but the occasional ray of sunlight breaks through and I can feel some strength returning, at least enough to start sharing my thoughts and celebrate the man who will always be - My Father…

He was in bad shape back then but his condition continued to digress. The radiation and chemo treatments he received did not work, his cancer continued to grow during the entire treatment period. We had thought we were out of options but the doctors at Sloan Kettering recommended a radical surgery that could possibly result in a cure.

This surgery would consist of the removal and subsequent reconstruction of his lower jaw using part of his femur, a complete glossectomy (full removal of the tongue), removal and reconstruction of the floor of his mouth, and a complete neck dissection (removal of lymph nodes). This surgery would result in permanent and complete loss of speech, facial deformity and a permanent tracheotomy. He would also never again eat or drink by mouth, relying on a caretaker to inject nourishment directly into his abdomen by way of a PEG tube. I still question whether I would have made the same choice, but my father chose life, the chance to live - even when faced with such dramatic changes to the quality of his life.

Surgery lasted 19 hours; my father made it through and started what was expected to be a year long recovery. However, after only a few weeks post surgery, my father's surgeons recommended yet another full course of daily radiation and weekly chemotherapy (6 weeks worth) in the hopes to kill any residual cancer cells. We had already been told that he had received his lifetime limit but the doctors thought he was strong enough to handle it and it would increase his chances of a permanent cure.

Head and neck radiation is considered to be one of the most painful cancer treatments. It was hard enough for my father to endure these treatments previously, but the doctors wanted him to go through with this again, only a few weeks after such major surgery. It was his choice and my father chose to do it in the hopes that it would increase his chances at a cure. It was horrible, requiring many emergency room visits and extended hospital stays. To make matters worse, because he had lost the ability to speak, communication with doctors and nurses became impossible and required my mother to become his full time caretaker and interpreter of various hand signals and hard to read writing. The situation became especially difficult for me; living 3000 miles away I had no way to communicate with my father without flying in to see him.

Miraculously, he made it through the treatments but he was now severely weakened. The strength and old-school toughness my father represented was gone. He chose life for his children and his grandchildren but in doing so he sacrificed his physical self. Simply getting out of bed to take a walk became a challenge and his pain was dramatic and constant. My entire family suffered seeing him this way and his pain was felt by all of us…

Approximately 3 months ago, his gallbladder became infected and required removal. This was supposed to be an easy surgery, especially considering what he had already been through. There were complications though and he developed a serious E-Coli infection that would keep him in the hospital for 2 months. My dear mother would not leave her husband during this time, sleeping by his side in a hospital chair or, when available, an empty bed. She could not leave him; my father could not speak and could not communicate his needs to anyone but my mother. It was a time period in my life I hope to forget but I know I never will. I simply had no idea if my father would recover and I had no way to communicate with him.

The infection subsided but my father was not able to regain any strength. His body had simply had enough. It was then that his oncologist told us that a suspect area in his lungs had grown considerably and it was, of course, most likely to be cancer. Radiation, chemotherapy, surgery were no longer considered possible options for my dad. There was talk about alternative treatments but this would only be possible if his strength returned… It never did and hospice care was recommended.

I spent the next 2 1/2 weeks by my father's bedside selfishly trying to "pull" as much of him into me as I could, while watching the lethal doses of morphine drip into his body. It was the most beautiful of times and it was the worst of times. My father was peaceful and at rest for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, but we all knew the inevitable outcome. I will never forget my 6yr old son fearlessly braving the assortment of machines and tangle of tubes in order to cuddle up close and tightly hug his beloved grandfather. It was a hug that lasted for 20 minutes, but it was a hug that will be remembered by me for eternity…

My father passed 3 days later while I held his hand tight to my chest. It was peaceful…

My father's fight has ended but I feel mine is just beginning. I intend to keep fighting against this most devastating disease and I am asking for your assistance. Ascend Acoustics would not exist if not for my father's encouragement, assistance, and his unique way of helping me clarify my own vision. He wanted nothing more than to beat this horrible disease and together with your help, I will keep his fight alive.

I am pleased to announce we will once again be hosting various charity raffles in support of the fight against cancer. We rose close to $10,000 last year, including a generous $3,000 donation raised by our friend and competitor here: http://av123forum.com/showthread.php?t=22479

We are setting our sights a bit higher this time. Our goal is to raise enough money to name and direct a cancer research fund at Memorial Sloan Kettering. The fund will be named after my father and will be specifically directed at oral cancer research. Oral cancer is rarely in the headlines but the 5 year mortality rate is a devastating 50% and the rate of occurrence is increasing. It demands our attention now! I am also pleased to announce that we are not alone in this cause; my brother-in-law's employer will be making a significant donation in order to help us reach our goal of starting a new cancer research fund.

The Deadly Statistics

Every hour of every day, one American dies of oral cancer.

The mortality rate associated with oral cancer has not improved significantly in the last 40 years. In fact, recent statistics published by the American Cancer Society indicate that while the incidence and death rates for cancers overall has decreased, the incidence for oral cancer has increased by 5.5% and the death rate has increased by 1.5%.

The death rate in the Unites States for oral cancer is higher than that of cervical cancer, Hodgkin's disease, cancer of the brain, liver, testes, kidney or ovarian cancer.

More than 30,000 Americans will receive an oral cancer diagnosis this year. In five years, less than 57% will still be alive.

My father was a finance professor at Rutgers University, a financial analyst on Wall Street, a real estate mogul, businessman and true entrepreneur. He was a loving husband, caring father and a wonderful grandfather. He loved to read, build model airplanes, watch horror movies and loved nature. He was a humble and anonymous philanthropist, and the most patient and genuinely interested listener I have ever known…

I feel his loss every moment of every day and I am proud to have been his first born son.

Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!

I am sorry to hear of your loss Dave. May God bless you and your family and help you to deal with this very emotional time. I will gladly buy a ticket for each raffle as my family has personally dealt with the horrors of cancer as well.

Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!

Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!

Dave, As you know my father passed away 2 years ago, a very difficult time to say the least. My cousin Tom who I grew up with sent me a beautiful card and in it said to me: "Your Father was a wonderful and caring man, it is now your charge to carry on the family name in his honor" By the looks of things, and being fortunate enough to get to know you a bit over these last 2 years Dave, I say the same to you. I am truly sorry for your loss, and as I always say, whenever you need, please call or email me.

Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!

Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!

Dave, to be honest after reading this, I just broke out in tears. The reason-my Mom is enduring the same exact thing as your dad did. However, her cancer is in her lungs. She underwent surgery to remove the mass, but to no avail as it was too large. Since then, my Mom has undergone radiation treatments as well as chemo. Both of which, have just about killed her. In fact, my Mom had to stop the chemo because of her white blood count being so low. Dave, it really kills me when my Mom tells me she is in so much pain, yet I am more or less powerless to do anything about it. Like your Dad, my Mom has a strong will to live. But, her strength is fading and I think she has given up. To my surprise, my Mom is smoking again. BTW, my Mom is 68 years-old and we are the same age Dave.

I just received my 170's today! Looking forward to getting them up and running so to speak. I commend you for raising money for this terrible disease. We all are affected by it in one way or another. Sadly, my older sister had throat cancer and my older brother had colon cancer. Both are in remission right now. I hope and pray it does not come back. Soon, I am getting a colon scope done myself. Anyways, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family Dave. God bless all of you as I know your family is very proud of what you are doing. Kudos to you Dave!

Cheers,

Phil

Last edited by soundfreak38; 12-17-2008 at 02:37 PM.

Tame the peaks, minimize the dips/nulls and ONLY then are YOU on YOUR way to bass nirvana!

Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!

Dave,

That was a tough thing to read. I admire your spirits and ability to talk so openly about this terrible disease and how it has effected your loved ones. Your father sounds like he had a very enjoyable and prosperous life! Let you continue his tradition!

I will work something out for my business to make a contribution for the raffle in memory of your father and to fight this terrible disease we all encounter one way or another.