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The Genealogist’s Christmas Lament

My family tree, it seems, is quite a mess,
John’s Y DNA did not match Mackness,
John instead matches up to an Ibling,
But then the Ibling did not match his sibling,
Instead the Ibling matched up to a Rolland,
But Rolland wasn’t from here, but from Poland.
The only thing in common I can remember
Is that all of them were born in September.

Good Heavens, I might have figured this out,
There’s one magical man, roly-poly and stout,
That visits worldwide just once a year,
In just one night, bringing gifts and good cheer.
Cookies and milk are left for his snack,
With a wink, he finds gifts for good kids in his pack,
But maybe he had something extra special in stow
For a few grateful Moms under the mistletoe?
My gosh, I think there’s even a song,
About kids seeing Santa kissing on Mom.
All this time, I thought sure it was Dad,
And Dad surely is going to be mad.

Do you think it’s possible that all these odd matches at play
Could be related to the man with the reindeer and the sleigh?
He’s been around forever it seems,
But not in even my wildest dreams,
Does it seem possible that the man with the twinkle and jingle,
Would be the guy doing the Mistletoe Mingle?
However, the modus operandi really does fit
And all I need now is some Santa Claus spit,
Cause, of course, I’m just dying to know,
If John, Ibling and Rolland all line up in a row.
And the name they all match, of course, would be Kringle,
Which would explain all about that wink, twinkle and jingle….

Very funny! (Be sure to leave cookies and milk out tonight. Our TV friends at CSI will surely be able to get enough DNA from the lip of the milk glass to add to your evidence for this hypothesis. In any case, let’s hope Santa has lots ot DNA testing kits in his pack this year and distributes them well around the world.)