UBS – Untold Billions Scammed

“The trader who apparently lost billions of dollars from UBS worked for what they call their Casino department, which is pretty much what all financial trading institutions should just be called these days.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 UBS jokes”

10. How many UBS traders does it take to change the bank’s financial health? One, but first he has to lose billions of dollars.

9. You know UBS had a bad day when Police in London arrested a rogue trader who illegally lost billions of dollars, because now they would have to spend another week to steal that amount of money back from other naive investors.

8. UBS isn’t the only global financial institution with rogue traders operating beyond the law, but as they are a Swiss company, they are the one that yodels the best.

7. From a storytelling point of view, the most disappointing thing about the UBS financial scandal apparently caused by Mr. Kweku Adoboli, is that he didn’t even bother to buy himself a private island in an ocean somewhere, declare it his own nation, and pardon himself.

6. Scandals like the one Mr. Adoboli caused for UBS will continue to occur as long as people who take limousines to work take their financial research data from people to take public transportation to work.

5. Financial Trading by any other name would be gambling. UBS by any other name would be less embarrassing for Switzerland.

4. How many UBS employees does it take to switch a lightbulb? One, but if that employee is Mr. Adoboli, you better ask for a copy of the bill.

3. It’s interesting that the media is enraged that a rogue UBS trader who lost a few billion dollars in illegal trades, meanwhile they don’t seem to care much about the Trillions of dollars lost in recent years by corrupt politicians and their incompetent economic policies.

2. If you had a dollar for every UBS joke, you’d have nearly as much money as they lost thanks to Mr. Adoboli.

… and the #1 UBS joke is:

1. The UBS slogan is True Knowledge, which apparently does not apply to their own in-house rogue traders.