Miriam Margolyes is probably the funniest lesbian you'll ever meet (sorry Ellen)—or at least the raunchiest. She's currently making the rounds to promote her show Dickens' Women—which includes a lesbian character, you'll be happy to learn—and is currently playing in the UK (she'll hop over to the States soon). She was in rare form on a recent episode of Graham Norton that also included guests will.i.am and Adam Lambert. It may be out of order, but we put our fave clip first, in which Margolyes explains how she happened upon a Scottish soldier masturbating in a tree, told him to get down, and then gave him a handy. "You have to help the troops!" Watch the clip below.