- BLOG -

It took time, but The Boy finally came to his decision. Sawyer is gone. It wasn't easy to let go of the past, both the good parts and the bad, but he did it. And once he made the choice and pushed ahead with his life, he found that certain things began to change... for the better. No longer was he consumed with anger, no more time did he spend wondering how to make things right. It was over and The Boy knew he'd be alright.

​For while, he did what anyone with a fractured self would do and took a little time for himself. He receded into the parts of him mind that allows him to see things as the way they should be. He looked for what made him happiest and reached for the stars. And when he began the way back, he was changed.

He was happier.

The nightmares, while still there, show themselves less and less. His mind does not wander to the past the way it once did. He does not hate the one who hurt him the same either, though there is still that piece of his soul that will forever cry out for blood and vengeance. But he knows that allowing himself to be consumed by those thoughts can only hurt him in ways his abuser never could.

But how did saying good bye to Sawyer, and the tumultuous relationship they had, cause such a change in the way The Boy sees the world? This was something he wondered many a night after he felt the ugliness of his past be lifted from his mind. And while knowing was not necessary to moving on, he felt he needed - or, perhaps deserved - to know.

It was the night that Sawyer asked The Boy for advice that the two fell into an instant friendship. While The Boy has always had people around, Sawyer was a different story. Lonely, angry and feeling as though the world was fast abandoning him, he latched onto his new friend as though he'd drown without the life preserver. And the up and down roller coaster began.

More than once, Sawyer disappeared; The Boy, though he could at any time have moved on, chose to wait out the storm. After all, you're real friends are the ones you always go back to and that's what Sawyer did every time. But even a saint runs out of patience and eventually the day came when The Boy had had enough.

And we all know that story. And if by chance you don't, you have some reading to do. Fast forward. Sawyer apologizes. The Boy considers. And then... nothing. And with that inaction, a choice was made.

No more words. No more time. It was over.

Sawyer was gone, this time without a sound. And The Boy... was free. Free from giving a damn about someone he finally admitted was not worth his time. Free from pretending like every moment spent with the so-called best friend was not filled with the inhuman desire to eviscerate him with dull objects. And, most importantly, free to finally heal old and ignored wounds.

Always too busy picking up the pieces of those he loves, The Boy never spent any time putting together his shattered parts; he simply kept moving along, finding another project to help. But now, with the heat of Sawyer's betrayal behind him and his desire to be left to his own devices, he suddenly had the time to reflect on all that he had known and experienced. It wasn't always a pleasant experience and he still has a ways to go with it, but its the beginning of a journey that, only a few short months ago, he would not have imagined he'd have taken the first steps on.

He wants to share all of this with all of you; he's proud of the steps he's taken and optimistic about where the road ahead leads. He knows that while his destination may be far off, its out there somewhere. And he's eager to claw his way through the unknown that comes if just to see what fate has in store for him next.