I like Harold Camping so I am not going to talk shit about the guy. Camping is not your average Christian dumb fuck. The guy’s an engineer and his mathematical and Biblical erudition is spot on. God is simply a liar and I feel bad that Camping found that out so late in life.

There was supposed to be a massive earthquake but all there was a was an anemic volcanic eruption in Iceland. It seems that a fat man with a buried penis and less testosterone than a girl can blow his wad harder than “Almighty God.”

If the Bible God is the real deal he will certainly wait until the world has reached its zenith of greedy gluttony. Right now he is having to much fun torturing the thinlings who continue to live like Spartans and work like Trojans. Food is live and true love is pleasure. Sure Bible God might be getting pissed but if this latest display of his “awesome” power is all eventually our Beligod will lay the smack down on his candy ass.

What is going to happen is people are going to start trashing Harold Camping when all Camping was doing was merely reporting what Bible God was saying. Leave the wise old codger alone. The only mistake Camping made was trusting Bible God.

The following is from Wikipedia

Camping has presented several numerological[19] arguments, or biblical “proofs”, in favor of the May 21 end time. A civil engineer by training, Camping states he has attempted to work out mathematically-based prophecies in the Bible for decades. In an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle he explained “… I was an engineer, I was very interested in the numbers. I’d wonder, ‘Why did God put this number in, or that number in?’ It was not a question of unbelief, it was a question of, ‘There must be a reason for it.’ “[20]

Harold Camping being interviewed about his prediction in early 2011.

As early as 1970, Camping dated the Great Flood to 4990 BC.[21] Taking the prediction in Genesis 7:4 (“Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth”) to be a prediction of the end of the world, and combining it with 2 Peter 3:8 (“With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”), Camping concludes that the end of the world will occur in 2011, 7000 years from 4990 BC.[7] Camping takes the 17th day of the second month mentioned in Genesis 7:11 to be May 21, and hence predicts the rapture to occur on this date.[7]Another argument[22] that Camping uses in favor of the May 21 date is as follows:

The number five equals “atonement”, the number ten equals “completeness”, and the number seventeen equals “heaven”.

Christ is said to have hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.

If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year, not to be confused with the lunar year), the result is 722,449.

Thus, Camping concludes that 5 × 10 × 17 is telling us a “story from the time Christ made payment for our sins until we’re completely saved.”[20]Camping has not been precise about the exact timing of the event, saying that “maybe” we can know the hour.[23] He has suggested that “days” in the Bible refer to daylight hours particularly.[23] Another account says the “great earthquake” which signals the start of the Rapture will “start in the Pacific Rim at around the 6 p.m. local time hour, in each time zone.”[24]

The food here sucks! I ain’t coming back! I know I promised but no fucking way!

God/Jesus lied his ass off! Jesus was supposed to show up during the lifetimes of his apostles.Matthew 16:28 “There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”Maybe the food at the last supper sucked. Maybe Jesus figured that he’d return to the same shitty meal so he stayed up in Heaven with his pop Jehovah surfing BBW porn and mowing down on cheetos and packing on the pounds. Hell, I’ve been to a seder and the food sucked!

There is an even simpler explanation that will placate the Christians. Maybe Jesus didn’t really lie. Perhaps he had intended to return and destroy the earth and kill nearly every living thing like his dear old dad did but maybe he merely got too fat. He would be bed bound or in a power chair but maybe he finally got some tasty food and he’s in a better mood. The unleavened bread and bitter herbs would put anyone in a bad mood. Now that food has improved maybe Jesus has a better disposition or perhaps he is just too fat to ascend back up into heaven.

“Losing My Religion”

Oh life is biggerIt’s bigger than youAnd you are not meThe lengths that I will go toThe distance in your eyesOh no I’ve said too muchI set it up

That’s me in the cornerThat’s me in the spotlightLosing my religionTrying to keep up with youOh no I’ve said too muchI haven’t said enoughI thought that I heard you laughingI thought that I heard you singI think I thought I saw you try

Every whisperOf every waking hour I’mChoosing my confessionsTrying to keep an eye on youLike a hurt lost and blinded foolOh no I’ve said too muchI set it up

Consider thisThe hint of the centuryConsider thisThe slip that brought meTo my knees failedWhat if all these fantasiesCome flailing aroundNow I’ve said too muchI thought that I heard you laughingI thought that I heard you singI think I thought I saw you tryBut that was just a dreamThat was just a dream

Because Bigger Fatter Blog welcomes all fatlings regardless of their race color creed and national origin we thought it would be a good idea to invite Christians to a Bigger Fatter Blog for an ongoing pray in. After all most Americans are Christians so this is our ecumenical outreach to Christians everywhere. We will be tackling the problem of disease suffering and illness that plagues both fatlings and thinlings alike.

Many People Think That Jesus Lied About Prayer

Jesus is quoted many times in the Bible saying that a believer can ask for anything through prayer and receive it. He even goes so far as to say that mountains and trees can be thrown into the sea simply by praying for it. Many people think this is clearly a lie, and can be proven to be a lie by any believer. “Simply pray for me to be converted to Christianity right away”, They say. Or better yet they ask God to move the mountains behind their house. He could make a lot of converts that way. So we at Bigger Fatter Blog are offering Christians of all sizes this opportunity to end all suffering the world and to get some converts in the bargain.

OK Christians, Prove the Naysayers Wrong

Here are the quotes from Jesus that some say proves that he lied:

1) And Jesus answered and said to them, “Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, `Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ it will happen. “And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.” (Matthew 21:21-22 NAS)

2) Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8 NAB)

3) Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst. (Matthew 18:19-20 NAS)

4) Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him. Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours. (Mark 11:24-25 NAB)

5) And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:9-13 NAB)

6) And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it. (John 14:13-14 NAB)

7) If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. (John 15:7 NAB)

8) It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you. (John 15:16 NAB)

9) On that day you will not question me about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you. Until now you have not asked anything in my name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. (John 16:23-24 NAB)

The above verses are unequivocal. If people ask for ANYTHING Jesus says God will deliver.

CHRISTIANS START YOUR PRAYING!

ATT: BFB READERS!

Please inform all the Christians you know to spread the word about this pray in. Here are some links to Christian forum as we at BFB ask that you visit those forums and post a link and the article.http://www.christianforums.com/