So...I guess Captain Morgan makes hot sauce? And...decided to attach the bottle to a mock cannon so you can, like, roll out, and fire off the spice at mealtime? Are rum and hot sauce even a thing?

I guess at least in the sense that the Captain likes his rum spiced.

The Captain Morgan brand hot sauce comes in a clever cannon-barrel-shaped bottle, which secures to a matching cannon stand via a less clever white plastic band. And that's about it. Aside from the moving wheels, Captain Morgan hasn't done much to make their Hot Sauce Cannon a very desirable purchase, even as a novelty gift.

I would have integrated the sauce and stand, and added a tamper-lever mechanism, the former inside the bottle and the latter on top. You'd pull the lever to push the tamper forward and make the hot sauce squirt on the front. Aim and trajectory would be tricky, but hey, who doesn't like a little hot sauce on the gut or in the eye every now and then? It could be a new kind of hot sauce challenge - shoot the Captain Morgan onto food surfaces of varying degrees of difficulty. Bowl of chili would be Level 1, chicken wing Level 5, and hardshell taco Level 10.

Nothing says Happy Valentine's Day better than a mini chocolate bar laced with a pepper hotter than the Carolina Reaper. The Cocoa Loco Choco Challenge from Fuego Box, in the spirit of Paqui's Carolina Reaper Madness...

The gobble, gobble of the holiday season is in full swing! But if you would, take a quick pause from stuffing your own piehole to consider how you might win this year's gift exchange by stuffing the pieholes of others...

McCormick has launched an Old Bay Hot Sauce just in time for the Super Bowl, and my Spidey Spicy Sense tells me it's hot in more ways than one: at printing, when I tried to access the McCormick online store to purchase...

I know there are a few problems with this Sriracha keychain. Like in addition to enabling me to deliberately put Sriracha on my breakfast burritos and Philly cheese dips on the go, it's also going to enable me to inadvertently...

Betcha can't eat just one. Maybe not even one bite. Paqui says its Carolina Reaper Madness Chip is made with the hottest chile pepper on earth, and possibly in all the circles of hell. It's so hot they package them in...

First We Feast's Hot Ones brings me so much joy. Who'd have thought feeding celebrities 10 hot-sauce-slathered chicken wings of increasing spice levels, up to Scoville units that make them swear and sweat and snot all...

At 900 times hotter than a jalapeno, and at least that much hotter than Lil's Wayne, Jon, Kim, and Bow Wow, Flamethrower Candy Co. believes its Lil' Nitro is the World's Hottest Gummy Bear. And therefore ripe for a dare-you-to-eat-it...

Anyone who likes spicy foods and a challenge will be delighted to receive this carefully selected 5-pack of Death Nuts under the tree this year. And everyone else will be equally stoked for the post-gift-opening entertainment...

Satan's Blood Hot Sauce comes in a "blood vial shaped bottle with 800,000 Scoville units of pepper extract." Yeah, I can see that. I can also see a cock & balls ready to spew a scorching, blinding, fiery-hot death onto...

Are you ready for the hot sauce challenge...of wearing a Taco Bell Sauce Packet Bikini or Swim Trunks on the beach this summer? Taco Bell's Taco Shop Summer Collection features a handful of fiery items that will let everyone...

While I do think squirrels can be a huge P in the A, I mostly like Cole's Flaming Squirrel Seed Sauce for its exceptional label artwork. Actually, having recently participated in my own DIY hot sauce challenge, I can...