DIET PUNS: Riddle/pun: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON? Answer: THE SKINNY PERON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS. (Wordplay: gel/jell and jealous) -- a Dan Worona DIET PUN

3. I tried to make the plump ladies see the error of their weighs. --Dan Worona

4. NOTHING DENTURED, NOTHING GAINED.

5. Overweight? Remember, you earn your weigh.Before going on a diet, get the "SKINNY" because you cannot have it both weighs. --Dan Worona

6. Some things are worth the WEIGHT.(Ice cream and chocolate, to name a few.) --D. Worona

7. The BBQ King Dan Worona is a GRATE guy.(Original pun by guess who?)

8. LET US HURRY UP AND FINISH OUR SALAD. THEN, MAYBE, IF WE MUSTARD UP ENOUGH SPEED, WE MIGHT KETCHUP WITH THOSE HOT DOGS AT THE MAYO CLINIC AND RELISH THE MOMENT. THE FIRST HOT DOG TO GET THERE WAS DECLARED THE WIENER. FRANKLY, THE RACE IS NOT OVER, BUT DON'T DISPAIR, THE WURST IS YET TO COME. ---Dan Worona

9. Great googly moogely! He lost a lot of weight.HE WENT OUT OF HIS WEIGH TO DO IT. --Dan Worona

10. RELISH TODAY. KETCHUP TOMORROW.

11. WOKING IS CAUSING QUITE A STIR. --Dan Worona

12. Diet slogan: ARE YOU GOING THE WRONG WEIGH?

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)

13. DIETING IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND BREADTH.--Dan Worona

14. Here is a death sentence: IF YOU EAT LOTS OF FAT AND GREASE, YOU WILL CEASE. --Daniel L. Worona

DIET PUNS: Are you ready for some more DIET PUN-ISHMENT? Chew on these.

1. BEING OVERWEIGHT IS NO WEIGH TO LIVE. --Daniel L. Worona (obesity guru)

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)

3. I tried to make the plump ladies see the error of their weighs. --Woriginal original of diet guru Daniel L. Worona

4. NOTHING DENTURED, NOTHING GAINED.

5. Overweight? Remember, you earn your weigh.Before going on a diet, get the "SKINNY" because you cannot have it both weighs. --Dan Worona

6. Some things are worth the WEIGHT.(Ice cream and chocolate, to name a few.) --Daniel L. Worona

7. The BBQ King Dan Worona is a GRATE guy.(Original pun by guess who?)

8. LET US HURRY UP AND FINISH OUR SALAD. THEN, MAYBE, IF WE MUSTARD UP ENOUGH SPEED, WE MIGHT KETCHUP WITH THOSE HOT DOGS AT THE MAYO CLINIC AND RELISH THE MOMENT. THE FIRST HOT DOG TO GET THERE WAS DECLARED THE WIENER. FRANKLY, THE RACE IS NOT OVER, BUT DON'T DISPAIR, THE WURST IS YET TO COME. ---Dan Worona

9. Great googly moogely! He lost a lot of weight.HE WENT OUT OF HIS WEIGH TO DO IT. --Daniel L. Worona

10. RELISH TODAY. KETCHUP TOMORROW.

11. WOKING IS CAUSING QUITE A STIR. --Daniel L. Worona

12. Diet slogan: ARE YOU GOING THE WRONG WEIGH?

--Woriginal original by diet guru and obesity expert Daniel L. Worona

13. DIETING IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND BREADTH.--Woriginal original by obesity expert Daniel L. Worona

14. Here is a death sentence: IF YOU EAT LOTS OF FAT AND GREASE, YOU WILL CEASE. -Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)

Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

16. CHRISTMAS DIET PUN:

Sign on a weight-reducing salon:TWENTY-FOUR SHAPING DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS.

17. FOOD: YOU CAN'T WIN; YOU CAN'T LOSE.

18. WHEAT DIET: He ate wheat even though he was allergic to it, because he was a gluten for punishment.

19. IF YOU DON'T HAVE TASTE, IT GOES TO WASTE.IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TASTE, IT GOES TO WAIST.--Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"20. BBQ apron: GRATE MINDS THINK ALIKE. --D. Worona21. OBESITY IS A BIG ISSUE. --Dan Worona22. THE FOOD LOOKS GOOD FROM FAR, BUT IT'S FAR FROM GOOD.23. Kitchen sign: THIS IS MY DOUGH-MAIN24. MY FISH DIET IS FLOUNDERING. --Woriginal pun by Dan Worona

25. FRUITY DIET: Eating plenty of fruit can help you live to a ripe old age.

26. DIET DICTIONARY: I looked up synonyms for "diet" in my thesaurus, and found myself lost for words.

AN EASY WAY TO REMEMBER MY DIET HUMOR SITE:Daniel Worona works for the famous Mexican beer: CORONA (in the CONSUMER division!!!!) HA!HA!HA! Please forgive me for laughing at my own joke.

My last name (WORONA) is spelled the same as CORONA (beer), except with a W instead of a C.To find my site in the future, just do a search: WORONA + DIET HUMOR (I suggest you use Google or Yahoo or any major search engine.)Another option: Write it on a Post It and put it on your refrigerator.

A third option is to tattoo my Web site address on your forehead: danworona.50megs.com

FUNNY KITCHEN SIGNS:1. SOME DO JENNY CRAIG...I DO SARA LEE.2. I'D COOK IF I COULD FIND THE CAN OPENER.3. WHEN IN DOUBT, ADD MORE WINE.4. HARASSING THE COOK WILL DEFINITELY RESULT IN SMALLER PORTIONS.5. IF MOM AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY.

1. SOME DO JENNY CRAIG...I DO SARA LEE.2. I'D COOK IF I COULD FIND THE CAN OPENER.3. WHEN IN DOUBT, ADD MORE WINE.4. HARASSING THE COOK WILL DEFINITELY RESULT IN SMALLER PORTIONS.5. IF MOM AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY.

DISCLAIMER: IF ANY OF THE DIET HUMOR SAYINGS OR IMAGES ARE IN VIOLATION OF COPYRIGHT, I WILL REMOVE THEM IMMEDIATELY OR GIVE DUE CREDIT.

Daniel Worona

E-MAIL: dworona@ yahoo.com

Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it wil be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to contact me.

This is my latest and greatest pun just for intelligent people like you who are smart enough to scroll down to the bottom of the page.What is the difference between a dieter and a diet dropout?A: One FORGOES dessert, and the other GOES FOR dessert.A Woriginal diet pun by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis."

I do not have a friend in the entire world to help me get published, EXCEPT YOU. Please tell your friends about this DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES Web site.

PLEASE HELP ME TO GET PUBLISHED , IF YOU CAN.

REMEMBER: I add DIET HUMOR and OBESITY HUMOUR from time to time, so return often. NOTICE: I will continue to add DIET HUMOR to this Web site, however, I will not be posting the "PRIMO", or "THE BEST OF THE BEST" of my more than 55-year DIET HUMOR collection. I am saving the "CREME DE LA CREME" of my DIET HUMOR collection for when my DIET HUMOR collection is published in book form.

Why? BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF GETTING MY DIET HUMOR RIPPED OFF AND NOT GETTING MY DUE CREDIT.

PUBLISHERS: Anybody can do what I do: collect DIET HUMOR, but NOBODY can do what I DO!!! (Meaning nobody, I repeat, nobody has the expertise, knowledge, savvy, insight, skills, creativity, or experience that I have in compiling and/or writing original DIET HUMOR.) Braggadocio? No. IT’S A FACT!!!COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Please note: THE MAJORITY OF DANIEL L. WORONA’S DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR COLLECTION IS NOT FOUND ON THE INTERNET!!!

No one can even come close to duplicating Daniel L. Worona’s 55-year plus DIET HUMOR collection.

It is a ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!!!

Image credit of overweight man on scale: Freedomyou.com

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these diet humor / humour sayings and/or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit. Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

WORST-CASE SCENARIO:

DIET HUMOR WEBSITE: danworona.50megs.com

If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.

Who loses? Not me! YOU DO!!! BIG-TIME!!!

Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.

Do you want to enjoy my more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR sayings collection? You will when I am published!!!

SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help.

MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:

Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.