Yakkin’ About The Raptors: Brainstorming Kevin Durant Bars For Drake

Raptors HQ has a new chief in Steven Lebron, and while we here at RR already know him well (and we ain’t scared, homie), we thought this a good chance to try some back-and-forth between the sites. It is mid-August, after all, and we still have to sacrifice at the altar of the content gods. On this instalment, we try our best to move on from a very awkward Nathan For You intro into a conversation about Game 7 against Brooklyn, the whole Kevin Durant tampering thing, and more. Enjoy. (PS. this entire series is inspired by the Yakkin’ posts over at The Classical)

Alex Wong (aka. steven lebron): Just to be clear. I’ll be tucking you in.

A: Do you know what I’ve been doing lately, probably because it’s August: thinking about that Terrence Ross steal. I think I’m over the Game 7 loss, and I’ve decided to narrow down my memory of that series to that one play and to take all the happiness and joy from that one single moment.

B: I’m unable to do that. When I think back, the only thing that really pops up is the final play of Game 7, where it was drawn up for the wrong side of the floor. I know it doesn’t really matter considering Miami awaited anyway, but what if the play is drawn up correctly, and Kyle Lowry drove right? Patrick Patterson is diving on his stronger side, Ross maybe doesn’t forget he’s supposed to be in the corner, and it ends differently. Or it doesn’t. If ifs were fifths, and all. I should be over it, but man, it still stings.

A: Do you really think that it didn’t matter? I mean, first seven game series win in franchise history? I feel like the city would have been really something in the second round, a kind of nothing to lose attitude against Miami, a weird we’re-going-to-be-eliminated-but-let’s-celebrate-anyways vibe. Also, great breakdown of that last play, to be honest I was in a fetal position on my dog’s bed at that point, I just wanted to press pause on that Ross steal. I’ve bounced around the idea of having someone (with a lot of time, and owes me a ridiculous favor) to edit the series to look like we won it right there, some real delusional shit.

Aside from that last play, I think about Game 3 — the Patterson free throws or even Game 6, which was kind of a throwaway. Or if Amir hadn’t fouled out in Game 7. Or if Ross was better in the series. Okay, I lied, I’m totally still thinking about this.

B: I only mean it didn’t matter in a super-macro way as in: what’s sports, anyway. It mattered to me, clearly. I watched the game a second time the next morning, on my birthday. I dragged myself through that series a bunch. They tied through seven games, basically. You can literally go through the series and pick out ten things either way that could have swung it. Unfortunately, I can’t just tip my cap: Fuck Brooklyn, forever.

A: Okay, enough of the past, are you in on this Kevin Durant to Toronto in 2016 conversation? Do you not want to talk about it at all? Would you like to get roped into it because we’ve never even been in the conversation for the top free agent on the market?

B: Umm, of course I want to talk about it. It’s going to be the greatest. It’s not going to happen, and the whole thing is hilarious and kind of ludicrous, but if there’s even a one percent chance it could happen then why not have some fun with it? As long as people don’t actually think he’s coming and plan as if that’s the case, I don’t see the harm in wild hypotheticals

A: For me, I think it’s absurd to think that Drake can influence a free agent like Durant to choose Toronto for anything other than basketball reasons. Remember when Jay Z and Mikhail Prokhorov tried to recruit LeBron in the summer of 2010, and ended up with this? I’ve come around on the whole Drake-as-ambassador thing. I think it’s great for the credibility of the team and the city.

But then I remember Drake making fun of Jay Z for eating fondue and how Durant is part of Roc Nation Sports!!! No way the Raptors even get a meeting in 2016. Trust me, rappers have long memories (as I ignore the fact that Jay made up with Nas after everything he said on Ether). But no, let’s keep talking about how Greivis Vasquez was Durant’s high school teammate and how he grew up wanting to be a Raptor.

I’m in on talking about this until it actually feels like we have a chance. Then I want to back off because it’s going to get a little too real. I don’t need feelings involved.

B: Agreed. A lot of parallels you can draw to real life where the low-stakes investment is fun but if it gets too real, it’s too real. Drake’s involvement has never really been for me, anyway, it’s just kind of fun to joke about and clown on.

I’m a big fan of his music, but as people who are heavily involved with the team, we’re not exactly the on the fence fans who will be drawn in a little more by a celebrity. If he helps drum up interest, by all means. And I can’t wait for the rap referencing the fine. Suggested line: “Only thing finer than my girl is 25 from the commish / That ain’t nothin’ just one less Rolex for the wrist.”

A: I came up with a couple bars too. I think Drake needs to fire a couple bars that go: “KD loves Toronto he needs no reminding/ I talked to Silver, I’m all about the linings/ It’s all love, you know KD is my guy/ we the north, not even Pac survived after he said Fuck Brooklyn, all hail to Masai/ We’ll get a couple assets from the Knicks, you know the routine/ laugh about the view from the six with Leiweke over some poutines.”

B: I don’t know about a whole verse. A line here and there is a bit more subtle, maybe the new album art with shouts to Durant somehow. I do love that Silver Linings line though, that’s fire. Maybe we should just release a track?

A: Let me clear some room in my Dropbox and we’ll make it happen. Another thing you should know: I put some money on the Raptors to win the East at 30-1, and did you know I’m totally going to be biased in my opinion and any analysis this season because of it. Do you see a scenario where they can come out of the East, assuming Cleveland and Chicago are healthy?

And Atlanta. For some reason, I think Atlanta is going to be really good this season.

B: Assuming health? No, they can’t get out of the East. They would need the Cavs to not mesh well and Derrick Rose to come back well below 100 percent. You can make a case that neither of those teams are a sure bet to stay healthy (it’s tenuous for Cleveland), and if that’s the case you can begin to craft a path, but it’s a stretch, man. 30-to-1 is great odds and I don’t fault you for laying money down, but I think there’s a clear one-two in the East, and then the Raptors are in a wider second tier scrapping for the third seed.

A: This is why I never win when I gamble. I like to make bets for good conversation. First impressions on the just released schedule for next season?

B: Eh, I don’t look into it too much. The four national games — nine if you count NBA TV, which some do but you really shouldn’t — is an awesome nod to the work the franchise has done and the reputation the fanbase has carved out. It sounds cheesy, I guess, but for real, if you’re reading this, you helped the team get those national games.

Other than that, there’s not much to complain about. Via Ed Kupfer, the Raptors actually have things slightly in their favor in terms of games against teams on back-to-backs and games with more rest than their opponents. Also, they start the season with a pretty heavy home schedule. So, not a lot to complain about.

I know you’re based in New York now some of the time. Any games you’ve already circled as ones you may try to get back for?

A: Well, it sucks they have that huge home stand right off the bat. I guess I’m not complaining that I’m going away for ten days in November to Italy with my wife for an unofficial honeymoon), but I was hoping to schedule a trip back to Toronto around a homestand where I could come back for two weeks.

I’ll probably just play it by ear and come back when it makes more sense later in the season. And of course, assuming things don’t go absolute haywire and we make the playoffs, I plan to come back and soak in the Jurassic Park vibe. It’s always nice — and so rare — to see a Toronto fan base that’s actually optimistic.

I went to the playoff games in Brooklyn this past season, but it obviously would not compare to being in Toronto.

B: It’s a beautiful thing, man, and it could make for a beautiful season. Keep in mind, though, that to hope is to risk pain.

Where do you place your bets? I was looking on Pinnacle, bodog, and bet365 and none of them have a bet for Raps to win the conference… Only 62:1 on Raps winning the title (which may as well be 1 million:1), I’d like to take a stab at Raps winning the east though.

arsenalist

Raps are 20/1 to win the East on Sporting Bet.

Matteemo

Thanks Zarar, too bad it’s down to 20:1, the 30:1 that Blake is getting is much more enticing.