My Hilarious Chat With a Facebook Hacker

“MARY JO McMILLEN”: I won the sum of $800,000.00 cash from Facebook freedom award promotion for the season promo.Do you get yours? I am serious about this

ME: call me

“MARY JO McMILLEN”: Am not with me phone now The promotion was made to some facebook user in other to benefit from them its a randomly picked of profile on facebook $800,000.00 did you get yours from them???

ME: I did, thanks. Isn’t it wonderful? Mother was thinking that she wasn’t going to get to continue her cancer meds. We prayed and prayed and then this appeared! Thanks be to God!

“MARY JO McMILLEN”: This is real. the fedEx delivered the money to my door step. I saw your name on the list with the shipping company agent so I thought I would see if you have gotten it

ME: we did! thanks so much. I couldn’t be happier for you either. I couldn’t have happen to nicer people. The two of you work so very hard– and with the robbery and all– I just think this is God’s way of working it all out. We took the money and paid off all our bills, got Mom her medicine and have given the rest to the Veteran’s charity

“MARY JO McMILLEN”: i mean facebook is giving out the money for some randomly selected users for compensating all their users

ME: I know! We got ours! That’s what I’m saying! And Mary Jo, I want to tell you something. And I know you will try to refuse me but I insist! I want to give you some of the money for your charity work. You and your husband have been such a help to my family and me. I know the two of you have been traveling a lot so just tell me where to send the money. I can get a money order if it would be easier for you. If it’s harder for you to collect the money if you’re out of the country, just see if there’s someone who will handle the money for you and I’ll send it in their name. I know I said we gave all the rest to the veteran’s charity but we did keep back $10,000 to put toward little Calliope’s college education but after all she’s just ten and I’m sure we could replace the money by the time she needs it. Grandpa is still running that little cleaning rag business believe it or not.

ME: Mary Jo?

ME: Hello?

ME: Are you there?

“MARY JO McMILLEN”: Yes

ME: so would you be willing to let me share some of this money with y’all?

“MARY JO McMILLEN”: before i don’t believe it real when one of my friend on here tell me about the new going on funds program. i focus and use one mind to talk to Agent and i found out that it real

ME: I know! I couldn’t believe it either until the check was at our door! I’m so very grateful and it couldn’t have come at a better time for us. We were nearly about to lose the house! The Lord works in mysterious ways. So back to what I was saying– won’t you please take $10,000 to put toward your work with the HIV+ Jewish pit bull rescue? I am more than happy to send a check or money order today! Oh wait, it’s Thanksgiving. I’ll have to send it tomorrow. Of course I think I can still wire money today if you’d prefer.

ME: Hello? Mary Jo?

ME: Are you in the Cooking Sherry again?

ME: Okay, I don’t judge. But just promise me this– PLEASE do not beat the kids again this year. You remember last Thanksgiving?!

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I’ve spoken with Mary Jo and she assures me that she didn’t message me on Facebook this morning, that she and Sean hadn’t won $800,000, that she hadn’t had a sip of Cooking Sherry in years (or ever beat the kids) and that if she ever decided to open up a charity foundation for HIV + Jewish pit bulls, I’d be at the top of her donor list.