In love with a robot

Miranda Devine

–,
Sunday,
November,
25,
2012,(6:58am)

IN the new movie, Robot & Frank, an elderly man with dementia is given a carer-bot by his adult son. Imagine a sleek white 1.5m high iPhone that can clean the house, shop for groceries, cook nutritious meals, exercise with you, engage you in conversation and even plant you a vegetable garden.

Those of us who can’t wait for the future to catch up with our science-fiction childhoods will be thrilled by the robot’s starring role.

Whether it’s the Jetsons’ robot maid Rosey, Star Wars’ prissy C-3PO, The Stepford Wives’ mouth ATM or Mrs Robinson’s washing machine in Lost In Space that used to wash, dry, iron and fold clothes in a nanosecond, we know exactly what we want from inanimate househelp. But technology has been annoyingly slow to deliver (where are our jet backpacks and hovercraft cars?). Until now.

There has been a quiet revolution in recent years in which household artificial intelligence has moved from the theoretical to the robustly useful.

Robot vacuum cleaners are the first domestic droids that really do lighten the load.

I’ve fallen in love with my robovac. The brand will remain nameless, because this is not an ad, but there are a few on the market now, at price points between $500 and $1200, and mine is at the lower end.

Like a flying saucer with little spinning brushes and mini cameras, it whizzes around the house collecting dust, dirt and truckloads of hair from our perpetually moulting dog.

No sane person would vacuum six times a day, but thanks to the dog, it’s what the house needs, and the robot is always happy to oblige. I feel like hugging it each morning as I pad around in bare feet on a floor so clean it almost squeaks.

I switch it on before bed, and sometimes linger, watching in silent admiration as it scoots industriously across the floorboards, marvelling at its ability to navigate furniture. It uses cameras, ultrasound, infrared and sophisticated algorithims to map our house, learning where our stuff is and navigating via the ceiling.

When it runs out of battery it calls out: “Battery is low. Searching for the home station” and scurries off back to its home base to recharge. Even more miraculously, once replenished, it returns to the exact spot where it left off to continue the job.

Are there any more welcome words a robot can utter than “cleaning begins”?

Occasionally it gets caught under a couch that is exactly the wrong height off the ground, and sometimes it swallows the edge of a rug. At those times of distress it calls for help and if none is forthcoming, it simply goes to sleep with a melodic sigh.

Perhaps this happens more often than I think, because the children call my robot “The Moron” and mock the close attachment I’ve formed with it. Soon they’ll be calling me Raj, after the lovelorn astrophysicist from The Big Bang Theory who falls in love with Siri, the voice-activated “personal assistant” on the iPhone 4S.

Robot is Korean, and, just as if it were an adopted child, I have suddenly grown interested in the land of its birth. Asia’s fourth largest economy? Well good for you, Robot.

It (he?) is pretty much indestructible. He did once seize-up after ingesting earphones. Turning him upside down to inspect the damage felt like turning over a giant beetle, slightly improper.

There were a few heart-stopping moments during surgery with tweezers and a bright light, when we thought Robot might not make it. But he pulled through and continued vacuuming the minute he hit the floor.

He has become the most useful small appliance in the house, giving us a glimpse of a future in which robots might exceed our sci-fi dreams, and in which we will have to learn to navigate our feelings towards these invaluable inanimate objects.

Pet owners often are accused of anthropomorphism - projecting human emotions onto animals, imagining they are guilty, sheepish, passive-aggressive and so on.

How can it not be the same with robots, when artificial intelligence can seem like sentience.

There is something hardwired into humans that wants to find emotional connection with other beings, even if they are blobs of silicon. This will bring up ethical dilemmas in the future, as robots become more intelligent.

Robots are already used in surgery, and industry. There is a type of robot exoskeleton invented in the US that allows paraplegics to walk. But robots are active on the battlefield, too. There are predator drones which act as robot assassins.

Foxconn, which makes iPhones, has announced plans to install 1 million robots in its factories, putting Chinese workers out of jobs.

And according to the book Love And Sex With Robots, we will be marrying robots by 2050. Certainly in China, where there is an oversupply of males, robot wives would be an improvement on wives reportedly kidnapped from neighbouring countries.

If you mistreat a robot is that wrong? Those of us who grew up on a healthy diet of John Wyndham, Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov and Frank Herbert know this will be fertile ground for debate.

Even though IBM’s Big Blue beat chess world champion Garry Kasparov 15 years ago, we have not yet reached, “the singularity”, that moment envisaged by computer scientists in the 1960s when robots become smarter than us and the post-human future begins.

But maybe we should start figuring out how to react if our robots decide that they have better things to do than vacuum.

Mad article. From the early dawn of man using stones and wood, then clumsily molding copper (I think there is a mention in the bible about the first articifer of metal) these tools have been used to make life easier, and given names and personalities.

In the celtic age anthropomorphic swords with hilts of heads, arms and legs were named. That’s where the legend of excalibur comes from. These hilts also provided good balance for longer blades and became the rounded hilts of medieval times.

I reckon Honda are the most advanced company in robotics, and sadly, probably the sex industry will be drivers for human like robots (!)

Personally, I look forward to the day my tractor will sow crops on its own, my blackberry can complete my tax on its own, the stove will cook dinner on it’s own and the rubbish will put itself out. Oh, I notice there’s a new pool robot to replace the creepy crawler. Gotta love it.

How good is this? Anyone who’s driven a header (those things that harvest grain crops, invented in Australia and built in America) will understand ... new headers now have a self greasing mechanism that’s done by the push of a button, and resetting for various crops is now by voice command. Plus five times the capacity of just twenty years ago.

There’s already sat nav automated steering, and self propelled machinery trials are underway, but if we just had a robot who could drive everything instead...do some fencing...and then come home to do the chores and get dinner on...*swoons*

maurie replied to Bluey
Mon 26 Nov 12 (12:10pm)

Bluey, a Nash car our dad owned in the 1950’s had a centralized lube
system requiring only a periodic push of a pedal on the floor. It was I think a 1927 model or so. So steady progress in short bursts!
During the 1970’s I maintained drilling equipment automatically controlled pneumatically. during the 1980’s I maintained similar equipment capable of being remote controlled, however I
didn’t see any potential gain from informing the owners of this job destroying feature. We do sometimes need to carefully consider
advances of technology, because that feature even then could’ve
allowed some overgrown kid in a city skyscraper having the control
of several of these machines at once. Unless we are stupid enough to accept the dole & always vote labor, in general our society’s self respect is usually maintained by having the chance to earn a living
& so determine our own direction in life.

Bluey replied to Bluey
Tue 27 Nov 12 (11:11am)

Trouble is maurie since the industrial revolution technology has exploded. In WW2 it exploded again . Computers have made the previous explosions seem like firecrackers.

Before then, progress was slow and skills and crafts were what Internet Technology skills are today. But life IS easier I reckon when it comes to home and hearth, and I’d not go back to open cabs at harvest.

PS: I’d not heard of Nash cars...my Dad owned a couple of Indian bikes and regretted selling them (as we all do - see Miranda like you with vacuum bot so are we blokes with cars and suchlike!)

Miranda robots are fine in factories, but at home nothing beats an attractive naked female house maid.

Miranda, the limitations have always & still are human. I recall being scoffed at during a discussion on hover craft during my early teenage years when i suggested that when one was fully loaded it may have a problem negotiating hills & when in town it might blow pedestrians away - in the literal sense. In the mining industry, limitations are both
the lack of knowledge of the conditions where the technology will be applied resulting in what manufacturers dream of achieving without the criticism. To witness a real leap in advancement Miranda, I reckon
designers would benefit by paying equipment users to visit their premises & in return visiting sites where the operating conditions are very evident. Suddenly instead of being fed technology by back room boffins the world would be ‘gob-smacked’.

After years of failed negotiation between Federal and State Governments and stakeholders a plan is now in place for the Murray Darling Basin.
Another achievement for the Federal Government.
I thought I would mention this as it went unreported in the Telegraph and The Australian.

By the way, who won the U.S. election? It wasn’t reported here,
despite all the mid-campaign praise for Romney and running mate.

Peter B replied to Sean
Mon 26 Nov 12 (07:26am)

Everything the disastrous Labor party touches turns into another disaster so now we can add the Murray Darling Basin to the disasters party long list of disasters.
Another day another reminder.

Peter B replied to Sean
Mon 26 Nov 12 (07:44am)

I heard today thanks to the disaster party the Australian taxpayers have to pay a billion dollars per month just to pay the interest on Australia’s debt. Thats one thousand million dollars per month just to pay the interest alone. Can you confirm this seany, oh no seany does not deal with reality he is too busy pushing the fantasy and propaganda like a good “Useful Idiot”.
As robert said the other day “ debt is slavery”. And thats what the Socialist/Marxist Progressives are all about, slavery and the new world order. Are you at least starting to see your progressive heroes are actually the one you despise so much. The wolves in sheeps clothing.

N.S. Sherlock replied to Sean
Mon 26 Nov 12 (12:58pm)

Sean the resident lefty automaton, sooo predictable. You should change your batteries, they must be leaking by now.

Glitter and Doom replied to Sean
Mon 26 Nov 12 (02:32pm)

Hi Peter Baby...

One thousand million per month interest… a BILLION, is that right..??

If it is, our GDP which is ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED BILLION per annum, that would be FIFTEEN HUNDRED BILLION, or better still around ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY BILLION per month, should easily cover that miniscule, second lowest debt in the OECD.

Peter Baby... Know the difference between 140 billion per month and ONE billion.

Thats why we have a AAA credit rating baby, thats why Australia has a high dollar at $1.03 US baby.

Thats why Abbott went overseas and told his British counter part that we COULD in fact contribute more to the IMF, to stem toxic Euro economics caused by conservative ideology of bad deregulated debt to fill consumer tax coffers… As our economy was quite “resilliant” ... his words, while calling it a Great Big Disaster at home to feed the domestic market of the feeble minded right wing numbskulls like yourself.

A bit like Abbott did while addressing the feeble minded at a community hall of the elderly, that climate change is a “load of crap” while the next day having to withdraw his position in front of the press gallery who caught him out on his statement.

While you are a very “Useful Idiot"… as you provide us with much mirth.

A few points.

Anthropomorphism: why do we think we are the only species to have “human qualities”? This is creationist thinking. Human qualities of caring and feelings is simply evolutional used by a number of animals. The comparisons between humans and dogs are pretty incredible. They gather into packs quickly. They sort out dominance and roles. They protect. Our golden retriever stood over a small dog to protect it against some rogue. Whales beach themselves if they lose one of the pod.

We live in a universe of chance. But the best ways evolve. If (rather, likely) life has evolved elsewhere it would be pretty similar to us. We are no accident.

We will be digitized one day as sure as vinyl records gave way to CD’s and DVD’s. When that happens, there’ll be digitized humans travelling through the universe in spaceships without the need for gravity or oxygen.

Reproduction will be as fast as downloading files and mass producing hardware. There will be trillions of us.

Technology moves ever faster. In the 21st century there will be 10B people. 100 years ago there were 1B. Of all the people who have ever lived half are alive today. People are better educated. We would have at least 100x the thought power compared with 100 years ago. We are thus evolving at 100x the rate. And yet we are going to evolve much quicker.

In a generation or two, the first baby never to die will be born.

People think linearly. They plod. Advances are not like economics. 3% growth every year. Every now and then there is a major break through like silicon chips or splitting atom. It is never all that complex. Just a very basic idea. Like the car that led to suburbia.

The weird notion of machines with emotion and the grounds that then creates for abuse and the need to care is raised. That then leads to the question as to what stage or what point does a machine become emotional, even human. This also relates to the question of when did life start. Evolution demands precellular stages. And stages before that all the way back to interstellar dust and the bang. The universe itself is alive. And there is a god.

Don’t fret PaulC, it only happens in Hollywood movies, based on a true story of course.

Bob Of QLD replied to PaulC
Mon 26 Nov 12 (12:55pm)

“People are better educated”
Paul, you’re dreaming…
One cracker of evidence please.
Playing with a WiFi or ipod/pad makes one cleverer or better
educated than great grandmother ?? At least she probably
knew where Turkey was, what 8 x 9 equalled and how to write
a letter or resume without professional help. And didn’t need
endless TV cookery shows explaining how to boil eggs or bake
bread.

If people were now better educated ( apart from parts of Asia)
your post would go from laughable to credible

Machines with emotions - Since our society in the course of each day endlessly loves/hates/lusts/envies everything from
Kylie to cars to Mars bars to sporting heros, there must already
be an App availableto download for the robot so it can be as
shallow as we’ve become.

Brain injury shows that although we think we have a soul and are driven at a higher level we still are just a box of parts. Although we think that emotion is something spiritual above all of this it isn’t. It is a short circuiting of our consciousness. An analogy.

I saw a show on some science trying to understand consciousness. A seeing machine for the blind was demonstrated. Simple idea. A pad was placed on the person’s back. The image was transferred as a shape stimulated on the person’s back. Initially, the person is aware of the bits and pieces but eventually they no longer think of the pad and are focused on the image as though they see it in front of them.

They placed a box on someone’s head. He could only see out with mirrors. The image was upside down. Initially he was disconnected and thought of the bits and pieces but eventually he was directly interacting with the image. Later the box was taken off and felt as though he’d fall downwards off the earth.

I expect babies go through a period of connection, starting off as a box of bits and pieces, gradually they connect. The awareness of processing within gone and directly dealing with the outside world.

A robot would need to be programmed for self preservation. Signals would be like pleasure and pain. It would start as disconnected but eventually be all fully connected, awareness directly with the outside world. That directness is emotion. A step up from low to high level machine language.

We are a box of pieces. What happens inside us can be replicated. No you don’t have to replicate the organics but the circuitry is all there for the replication. We can probably build computers now which have circuits as extensive and complicated as our own. We are just lacking knowledge of our algorithms. But that will come. It’s only a matter of a generation or two away. It’s not about time but rather just some key concepts key to quantum advances like the car, computers, discovery of electricity.

Kids getting fat because of to much time on the computer, adults getting fat because a computer doing everything for you, no thanks as we already have washing machines, dish washers and other appliances, I prefer to do some of the work myself, unless I was disabled.
By the way you can get a lawn mower that does much the same thing as your vacuum cleaner only outside.

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