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Sunday, November 27, 2011

To anyone else, it would be funny. To a person with a sleep deficit, hormone fluctuations, loud music and a crying baby in the background...doing something stupid that you can't blame on anyone but yourself is the tipping point into borderline insanity.
At least there wasn't pain involved like the time I opened the cabinet, dropped something out, then raised up hitting my head on the corner of the cabinet that I just seconds before..opened. OUCH.
This time it wasn't as disgusting as accidentally eating diaper rash cream...twice. Once, I thought it was marshmallow creme, the other time I thought it was the filling out of a donut....both times a cruel, mouth-watering, drooling disaster.
No, this time I was unable to get up and walk without falling over...something was holding me back, something sinister, perhaps I was having a stroke, maybe I was too fatigued to walk....turns out I was stepping on the opposite pant leg. Ooof!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Many things in my little world just go right over my head. As George and I pulled up to a red light a while back, I broke the (rare) silence in the vehicle by saying..."God, I never thought I would have FIVE kids." Now, I was not meaning to be blasphemous at all. I was kind of talking to God, and George, and myself all at the same time. It was like I didn't realize how it happened, or when it all happened, or mainly why I should have this life scenario.

I contemplated my situation for a long time. It's not like my plan all along was to get married and have 5 kids, Lord knows it wasn't simple like that, but that is where I am now ... having been on the convoluted path. Why did I go to college if I am a stay at home mom? I bear the title "homemaker" yet I am not a good cook, nor is the house ever spotless or even anywhere near that. Why do I like to shop and buy people stuff if I do not have an income? These things do not seem to jive.

I think God gave me a little revelation because He pitied my confusion...
I remembered a time as a little girl when I pretended my dolls came to life and went outside after I went to bed, so naturally, I had to make sure they were warmly dressed before I turned in for the night. Also,
I remember waiting for the bus on a snowy morning and another bus-riders mom let us wait inside her house so we would not freeze. I so desperately wanted to stay with her in her house which smelled like vanilla and coffee and watch Good Morning America. In other childhood memories, when we played "school" I always had to be the teacher, AND make the snacks. I wanted to be creative and make things and sell them or give them as gifts. (Painted rocks were not profitable, BTW) I also wanted to write stories and poems and letters to people...even people in prison which my mom didn't allow. In later years when I started to earn money for, of all things, babysitting...I saved my money (the earned kind and that which I got as a gift) diligently and used my own version of "the envelope system" to budget my spending. My buying habits were very conservative, but I always had nice things, and everything I needed for sure.
All this life experience couldn't have prepped me to be anything other than a care-giving, home-staying, homeschooling, cookie-baking, blog-writing, coupon-clipping MOM.
Duh!