The confessions of a single woman….

Yesterday night, I read this article which really made my blood boil. Well, as much as the dude got many likes and shares, I was left with many questions and as usual I had to turn them all to a blog. This is where that uliza kiatu song (ask my shoe) applies. You will never know what am going through until you’ve walked a mile in my shoe. And the shoe am talking about today is my single-hood. Yes, I want to talk about it because so many people walk around, pretending like they are strong, and that they’ve got it all together but yet deep inside they have these visions and dreams about finding their missing half..Only God knows when this will happen…Please allow me to pour my heart..Thank you.

I wanted to ask this guy whether he has ever been broken by someone who he gave his all for. From how he looks, he has never. Thats why he has the audacity to say that women above the age of 25 are unmarriagable (whatever that means, or if it’s even in the dictionary, sijui..Don’t look at me as if you are the English guru and we all know what you got in your KCSE. Worse is when you criticize my lack of grammar when yours is worse, hahahah…Anyway, thats besides the point. I was saying that, the guy said that when you marry a girl above 25 is like buying a second hand mtumba cloth or paying a taxi fee for some guy who enjoyed the goods and left you with it.(paraphrased) I was too angered to even delve deep into what the dude said. I tend to defer with him a lot because I really don’t consider myself a used good. I am a christian as you have noticed that many of my blogs really reflect this. My Bible says that I am a new creation and that every single day God’s mercies are new in my life. It doesn’t matter what happened to me in my past, whether I was dumped by a stupid idiot who had a myopic view of who I am or whether it was my fault that I was dumped. As long as I confess to God and my life is in His hands I know that He will repay me double for every trouble. My times are in His hands and I know that I will be found by the right guy. However, this does not mean that am not on the lookout.

Single hood is a blessings as much as it is a thorn in the flesh. it is a balance of freedom and responsibility. You feel lonely and admire every time one of your friends gets a call from their beloved reminding them of how much they are loved. And then if they are one of those Peninah’s they will provoke you with their engagement rings and the places they spent the weekend. The matter gets worse when they start telling you to stop choosing people as if they’ll be with you when things turn sour after rushing super fast into marriage. As much as I want it so bad, I know for a fact that marriage is not something you rush in, and at the same time, it’s not something you slow down on. It’s one of those things where you must sense the moment, know when to jump right into it. Know when to say yes and when to say no. Know who too.

Did I tell you guyz of a dude I wasn’t ready for, yet he was really ready to settle down?I would literally dodge the guy and give him many excuses as to why I could meet up with him. The truth. I didn’t feel anything for him until when I heard that he was getting married. thats when I started valuing who he was and his passionate pursuit of me. Maybe if I said yes, I wouldn’t be writing this blog today with so much vigor and fire. Maybe I would be joining that dude who said that we should all get married before 25. By the way, do you want to know my age?(shhhh, it’s private, not part of my confession)hahahahahah…

image by west cop

And maybe we just look so hard for that perfect person not knowing that he or she might be right next to us. The Bible says that it is the man that finds, so as a woman I just pray to be found by the right person, or well put, to discern the right hunter. Lol..Not everyone who hunts is the right person and a woman is revealed to a man. What one man may like is not what another may prefer thats why when it comes to choosing people, all I can say is that it is a personal affair. The heart knows it’s own share of pain and joy and no one not even your twin if you have one can share how you feel inside. Could we be praying for miracles that are just collecting dust by our side and we haven’t even noticed? Damn! I know you feel like saying that. I’m super blessed, I choose to think that way and to set my consciousness fixed on that one thing. Am blessed and my blessing is coming. This is my confession.

The worst insult that a single person can ever received is to be told that they are desperate. I often ask, how do we measure a person’s the level of desperation? Has anyone found out the instrument to do this?If you have kindly share it with yours truly, moi :). How do you want them to behave when age is not on their side and all these pressures come knocking at their door that they ought to get married. Its very insensitive especially when the person saying this is married and they know that by the end of the day they have some warm bed to lay their head on..Now if the chap saying this is single, I have no words for them. They cant fight nature, and soon and very soon, nature will catch up with them.