Watch Snob: Montblanc Watches

Ask The Watch Snob

You may think you know watches, but let's be real — you just don’t. Let me, a true horological aficionado, enlighten your plebeian minds as to what makes a real watch, what you should wear when and what to do with those old watches of yours. All the opinions expressed by the Watch Snob are my own, and are just that — opinions. Don’t worry, though, AskMen will still be bringing you great features on interesting watches to buy, both old and new, expensive and cheap. For now, let the Watch Snob reign.

Hi Watch Snob,

I will soon be moving to the watch mecca, Geneva, for about a year and I’m interested in starting a watch collection while I’m there. I’m in my early 20s and tend to have an eye bigger than my wallet. I'm partial to the classic style of the Patek Philippe Calatrava collection that is, regrettably, out of my price range (I’m in the military).

I would like to avoid anything too cookie-cutter like an Omega, Tag Heuer or anything else that may turn up in a department store jewelry display; I’m really looking for something fairly unique or vintage. What do you recommend on what to look for — and where to look for it? Something versatile that I could also wear in uniform would be a plus.

A military man in Geneva? It’s always nice to see the U.S. Government spending taxpayers’ dollars by putting our men where we need them most, in the wealthiest, most civilized urban area in continental Europe. I take it you’ll be driving a Gelandewagen while on missions too?

To answer your question about finding a watch in your budget, I find it difficult to be of much assistance as you’ve not provided me with your budget. All you have said is that you’re in your 20s and in the military, and don’t want to spend the $20,000 necessary for a Patek Calatrava. I will assume this means you are OK with spending $10,000, and in this case I recommend you look at Glashutte Original. These watches are anything but cookie-cutter despite being owned by the Swatch Group, and are made completely in-house. Best part of all, they are German, and it’s no fun wearing a Swiss-made watch in Switzerland. Go ahead and stick it to your soon-to-be countrymen by wearing a superior quality watch not made in their homeland.

Hey Watch Snob,

One of the attractions on my first Caribbean cruise was discovering the legendary watch stores that had smoking hot deals on high(er)-end watches. Yes, in hindsight, there were deals, but not for a uneducated rookie.

Caveat emptor: I ended up with a Ernst Benz, a brand I had not heard of before and have heard little if any of since. I am not unhappy with the watch but have a nagging doubt that I could have done better with a better-known name (such as Omega, Baume & Mercier, Ebel, Concord, Girard-Perregaux, etc.). Affirm I am either a dithering idiot or the savviest buyer of the year.

Ah yes, buying a watch in the Caribbean, an age-old tradition perpetuated by fat white men in Tommy Bahamas floral pattern shirts and cargo shorts. Here’s the real situation: You made a big mistake. Nobody wears Ernst Benz watches, nor should they. They are overpriced and under-spec’d, not to mention the company considers another fat white man to be the ideal spokesman for its brand. Any watch company that thinks fire-headed Mario Batali is a good spokesman for its products deserves what it gets, which is why people like you are buying its crap watches on a whim and then complaining about it to people who know better. Dithering idiot, you are.

question from a watch knob

Hi,

Now that Montblanc is making watches in addition to its fine pens, and also just developed its own movement, would you buy its watches? I really like its Star Chronograph Automatic, but is this just a designer watch or the real deal?

Thanks

Instead of answering your question, I will tell you an anecdote of my most recent visit to a Montblanc boutique and let you decide if they are worth buying. I walk in and am greeted by a lovely woman. I ask to speak with someone who knows about its watch line. She brings me over to their “timepieces expert.” They show me Montblanc’s new “in-house” watch, and I begin to wind the watch via the crown when the “timepieces expert” screams at me! He says: “No! You can’t wind it that way!” I inquired why; he proceeds to tell me that “some watches need to be wound by the crown, and some, called “automatic wristwatches,” can only be wound by shaking the watch,” and that if I were to wind it via the crown it would damage the movement, which couldn’t be less true. I launched into the necessary diatribe on how so very, very wrong he is and then walked out.

This is Montblanc’s timepiece expertise at its best? If you want a pen, go to Montblanc; if you want a watch, buy it from a watch company.