Resolutions

Posted Saturday, January 10, 2009, at 10:20 AM

It happens every year. I promise myself I'm going to stick with all the behaviors that in theory will make be skinny and beautiful, organized and prompt…no more procrastination, wastefulness or bad eating habits.

This year was no different, but I'm doing better than in past years. My primary goal for 2009 was to walk two miles a day. I chose last Tuesday as the day. One down. That one wasn't so difficult after all.

In order to attain the "skinny" status, I've resolved to purchase anything off the grocery shelf that contains the word "skinny." Hence, my freezer is stuffed to the frosty brim with Skinny Cows (Wal-Mart now carries chocolate, by the way). Also, the items to be purchased may only be located in the grocery aisle, certainly not the exercise equipment aisle. Two down.

Beautiful….well now, there's a challenge for 2009. I think that one's going to require a trick mirror. Working on it.

Organization….hmmmmmmmmm. I opened last Monday's mail this Thursday, so I'm improving already. And, I purchased an extra pair of glasses so that I have two options to loose. Same with car keys. Now, if I could just recall where I hid the extra. I also bought a bunch of those cute little plastic bins to organize things like underwear, socks and "womanly" things. I wonder where they went.

On wastefulness…I see all of the starving children in third world countries on those info-mercials and occasionally am guilt ridden because of how much I throw out when I could be conserving. So, I did a little research and I'm already improving in that department. Did you know if you turn those wine boxes totally upside-down with the spout open, you can drain about three more ounces of Chillable Red…that in itself is a nightcap gained. Always thinking.

And I've vowed to not leave a single crumb of Mississippi Mud cake on my plate in 2009, not that I did this in frequent measure in 2008 or prior to. I'm not quite sure yet just how that's going to help children in Ethiopia, but I feel better already.

I'm working on the prompt issue. Part of the problem in my not being consistently prompt may lie in the fact that every clock in the house indicates a different time. Some are nearly in another time zone entirely. It's simple in theory. The ex never quite grasped the concept, but I set the bedroom alarm about 35 minutes fast. That way, when it emits its obnoxious signal for me to start my day, I punch that little oval God-sent button labeled, "Snooze," and I gain five minutes. I do this anywhere from three to seven times each morning and each punch brings a smile to my wrinkled face that I didn't moisturize quite enough the night before because I was busy looking for my glasses to read the book that I forgot to return to the library, which reminds me of where my glasses are. It's nice when life comes full circle. To everything a purpose under heaven.

Its called self discipline and most people don't have high levels of this, making most NY Resolutions short lived laughable jokes.

-- Posted by shannonhoon on Sat, Jan 10, 2009, at 12:30 PM

Ah, Minnie dear, you are a being close to my heart! The beauty of your experience is that it is so close to my own!!

My middle son, bless his heart, got me one of those Keyfinder gadgets for Christmas. Every time he comes over, he says, "Have you put your Keyfinder on your keychain, Mom?" I don't have the heart to tell him that the gadget is so sensitive that a variety of noises can set it off: My grandson's shrill laughter, my own shrill laughter(!), the grating of the fireplace door, the phone, some of my music... It goes on.

Okay, so my MAIN problem with my keys is that I have a bad habit of locking them in my car, and I have only one pair. No matter how much I stand outside that locked Jeep and whistle for those keys, they ain't comin!

I've decided that I'll fasten the Keyfinder to my TV remote, instead. That should save me at least an hour a day of searching!

Viva la New Year's Resolutions!!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Jan 10, 2009, at 2:44 PM

Oh, Minnie, I'm afraid that if I wore glasses, I'd be the one saying, "Now where did I put those darn glasses?!?!" just to find them on top of my head!

On the part of being prompt, well, I've actually been informed that I'll more than likely be late for my own funeral. If I'm early or on time for any event, people actually look at me like I'm sick!

OH GL!!! My husband received one of those whistle key finders for Christmas, and that thing drives me nuts! If my dog barks, it beeps, and then my dog barks at it, and it beeps back...etc, etc, etc. It's insane! I think I'd rather just look for my keys!

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Sat, Jan 10, 2009, at 6:55 PM

Hahahaha!!! MrsD, you have me laughing out loud!!!(LOL)!! This morning when I turned on the computer, it set the Keyfinder off!

As for the location of my glasses, I have actually done that---lost them on top of my head!! However, the key finder would REALLY be a nuisance if it were installed on my glasses! Can't you just see yourself shopping or talking with people and having to deal with that shrill beeping every time a noise set it off?!! Hahaha!

My solution is to buy a bunch of those cheap Dollar General reading glasses and keep them everywhere. My expensive glasses are pretty much useless for distant vision, anyway, and I can't stand the idea of having to pay another $500-plus for new ones!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Jan 11, 2009, at 9:09 AM

Minnie, Just prepare yourself to go through three years of pre-divorce angst, with little chow in the meantime and YOU WILL LOSE the pounds, BUT, you have to eat the vitamins!!! or the world will not turn to your expectations!!LOL, BABE, kkcaver.