October 16, 2011

Ewan Ross. A gift. A blessing. The best thing that has ever happened to me, to us. I stare and stare at this little baby face and wonder if it’s all real, perhaps I’m just dreaming? But no. I gave birth to this angel. He is the culmination of all the work, the struggle, both the pain and the pleasure that this whole journey was about.

As I write this, 11 days after his birth, full of hormone shifts, temperature switches and fatigue- I can cry at the sight of him. He truly is the best thing that I have ever accomplished.

Maybe the most incredible of all: he was worth every second of the wait. Every needle, every tear, all the strain on our marriage. I never expected motherhood to shake me like this. It’s the most natural thing that I have ever done and everyday I am thankful for the privilege.

I am no longer wishing for my bean- he is here and I am grateful.

Thank you for the kind messages over the past two years, thank you for the support, for crying and laughing with me. I set out to create this forum to educate people about the struggle of fertility. How far I’ve come.