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Monday, June 26, 2017

This and that, that and this

Minnie smelling the roses.

We're almost halfway through the year, can you believe that?

Weather report: Our weather moved out of the broil zone. Of course, that means the "marine layer" sticks around most of the morning; but it also means we are no longer considering whether we could fit in the freezer at the supermarket, or other creative measures.

Gourmet corner: Today I'm attempting to use as much excess produce as possible in a crockpot stew, along with some stew beef. The fridge, she still overfloweth with bounty that has not yet gone past prime.

Pet news: Junior cat love love loves this box with tablecloths in it so much that I have not seen fit to wash the fur off and put everything away. Senior cat keeps looking out the glass door for that giant cat who came to visit her the other day. As usual, very exciting pet news.

Impending Empty Nest news: Daughter has been bookmarking apartment possibilities for our hunt in July. She claims she is starting to sort the mountain of stuff in her room.

51 comments:

AW: I had such a wonderful visit out West! A whirlwind visit, but tons of fun. I had several of those lump-in-your-throat moments of being a proud mama. This tends to happen whenever I see either of the boys.

I actually spent about 30 minutes on the plane while passengers left and new ones arrived - in the same city as QWP!!! I waved, did you see me??? :)

W: Arrived home last night with a migraine. Ugh. Better today, and at least it didn't hit while I was visiting.

I'm in a fireplacing mood. The CBO came out with its assessment of the fireplacing health care replacement bill, and even written in careful language, it is a fireplacing disaster. This is so fireplacingly fireplaced up that I am posting publicly on the book of visages, and have written everybody again today -- senators, my rep, the gov and gov lite.

Now I probably need to find a new netflix addiction. Just started the West Wing, and that might not be light enough for me right now.

Sue: you didn't have a direct flight from my city to yours, did you? I didn't know such a flight existed! (When my friend from your city visited, she had a choice between stopping over in the Wintery City between us, or flying further west to Cowboy City first.)

And oh no, not another migraine! Hugs.

Kathy: I'm spitting nails at the details of this bill.

W: E either has been hit by a sudden (mild) tummy bug, or she ate something she shouldn't have yesterday. I ended up putting her in a pull up. I'm so tired, after having to clean her up so much. She, on the other hand, is cheerful and energetic as usual, and insists that her tummy doesn't even hurt. (What on earth is this? Did we accidentally over-fibre her? Is it just the exhaustion from the weekend? Exhaustion affects my stomach, so maybe that's it.)

I also anti-whined that it isn't worse, but then I felt the need to knock wood.

Good thing we are always well-stocked with bananas, apple sauce, rice, and toast, not to mention pediatric electrolyte drinks. And I no longer regret buying that "just in case" box of pull ups, immediately before she was fully potty trained.

Kathy a has pretty much said it all about the Senate bill. I'll just add a "fireplacing fireplacers" for good measure.

Mini and Sweet went to horse camp this morning, and Mini was off the charts angry afterwards. I'm not sure why. It was hot and humid and still, and they were hungry. And things had not gone according to the plan outlined in publicity materials. It took a couple hours for her to calm down. I anticipate that getting her there tomorrow morning is not going to be fun.

W: Also, I'm skimming/re-reading a book for a book review due on Wednesday. It's about an WWII internment camp here in Big Red State. It's not an emotionally easy read. Not to mention the parallels with current events are horrifying.

Esperanza -- Oh, a book review!? Well, internment camps have been covered, and you are in safe territory being horrified for the reasons everybody was (and most people are). Yeppers, about fireplacing parallels with current events.

I don't know what to say about horse camp, except that maybe Mini and her horse of the day did not hit it off. I personally respect horses, but not while attempting to ride them. Then again, I'm a city girl wimp, which probably a horse can smell for a mile. This might have just been a bad match, since I believe Mini has some cowgirl in her.

I'll link the review when it's posted Wednesday. The book is "The Train to Crystal City" by Jan Jarboe Russell, who is from Big City to my South. I got it on K1ndle but had found it at my prior library. Oddly, and coincidentally, Crystal City was just in the news here, as an FBI probe (initiated by one of my college classmates), has led to corruption convictions for most of the city officials. Not unusual for our border counties, sadly.

E was a lot worse at bedtime: tummy still bothering her, and the addition of any food (she only had a few nibbles of toast and banana, and a spoonful of applesauce) set her off again. Now with exhaustion and stomach pain. So much for my "but her tummy doesn't hurt and she has a lot of energy!" from earlier today. She's already asleep now, and we have our "In Case She Pukes" protocol in place (put her to bed with her hair pulled back, and only the most necessary stuffies; all toys moved several feet away from her bed; plastic mattress cover inspected and any holes repaired with duct tape; vintage rug moved out of her bedroom; towels on the floor, surrounding her bed; water bottle nearby; puke bucket tucked under the bedside table). We're going to bed early, in case it's an eventful night. (Oh, but I should do one load of laundry right away, just in case it piles up.)

Extra W: my stomach is also sore, and I've been tired and achy all day. Have I mentioned that high school graduation is tomorrow and Wednesday, and we'll basically not see Mr. Q for two days? He's a grade 12 homeroom teacher, and is also MC of the banquet. Also, our church camp begins on Saturday. We already planned on not going up until Monday, but if this bug goes through this house and stays for a few days, we'll need to push that leave date back. (We always make sure that we're WELL clear of contagions before going up to our church camp. A week of hundreds of people sharing close quarters and bathrooms, and several of the regulars have compromised immune systems, including multiple who have had organ transplants.)

QWP, no. There is no direct flight from my city to yours. I did the hop, skip, and jump flight from Edm to your city to my city. Not great, but cheap (and pleasant!) with WJ....also, I didn't have to go through TO. Seriously - one option was Edm to TO to my city. WTF???

Oh my - I do hope all of you are feeling better soon. ((((Q family))))

esperanza, I hope horse camp is better today for Mini.

US pixies, I hope the present cluster fireplace of a health care plan swirls down the proverbial drain asap. May wiser minds prevail and the power of the people be seen and heard.

Cluster Fireplace! Definitely an appropriate addition to the lexicon. ;)

This week, I will have one of those birthdays that includes a zero. It doesn't interest me to freak out about it. All I really want for myself is to not cook that night -- so I guess that means I'm happy! The failure of the cluster fireplace situation would just be the best, like wishing for world peace and a rash of non-violence breaking out.

AW: child spent the day energetic and feeling better.W: I did NOT, and it's hard keeping up with her when I'm feeling so rotten. And entertaining herself involved incredible amounts of mess. (Why is she still awake? I just heard her hooting like an owl.)

I hope you're feeling better soon, QWP. Back when the boys were bringing home exotic viruses on a regular basis, I noticed that a bad stomach bug left me vulnerable to the newest Snot and Goo Fest. Ugh.

W: A week from today I'll be in the Big City getting my head stuck with needles again. Not a moment too soon. This time of year, summer thunder storms move in quickly then leave. My head does not approve.

I need advice. (It'll be pretty obvious who I am, but it didn't feel appropriate commenting under my username.) My SIL just announced that she and her partner of 5 years are splitting up amicably. Ex-partner has two young girls, who had been in my 4yo's life since she was born, and they've been her only cousins. I honestly don't know how this is going to play out. Hopefully, ex-partner will be willing to stay friends with us, and to maintain a friendship between the kids. But, what if he's not comfortable with that? I know of child-appropriate ways to explain breakups, but not how to explain why the girls aren't at family events anymore.

So remember a couple months ago when I was whining about the post office in the little town where my church is, and it not having a wheelchair ramp? And Liz told me how to file a complaint? I finally filed the complaint last week. Someone called me today(!). As it turns out, the Americans with Disabilities Act *does not apply to federal buildings*--who knew? There are earlier statutes (1968 and 1973) that applied to federal buildings built or renovated after those dates. Our post office is older than that and has not been substantially renovated. When you walk in, you expect to see Norman Rockwell getting his mail. So, the bottom line is that they will do an investigation, but this guy expected that they wouldn't find any violation. Which is silly. But the earlier statutes do require that the federal agencies provide accommodations to ensure access to programs and services. The post office can likely argue that since they deliver mail to homes and have a drive through drop box, they are providing access.

It was a bit discouraging, and ridiculous. But oddly interesting. And I at least feel heard.

What on earth, esperanza?! The ADA DOESN'T apply to federal buildings? There isn't any requirement to make public services accessible to people with disabilities, if they're offered from older buildings? That is hot nonsense.

That's my understanding. If they were built before 1968 and have not been substantially renovated (added onto....if restrooms are rebuilt they must comply), because the ADA duplicated language in those earlier laws, so it only applies to state and local government buildings and other publicly accessible buildings. Federal buildings must provide access and accommodations to *services and programs* but not the building itself. That's discrimination, in my view. And post offices are even a grayer area, and I confess I did not follow his explanation on that.

I made him repeat "the ADA does not apply to federal buildings" several times, because it was, as you say, hot nonsense.

So many cluesticks for the writers of those laws! So shocking. I just went and checked my country's federal laws, in case it's the same here. Nope: regardless of provincial building code, everything connected to government and owned by the government in any way must comply, including heritage buildings (other than occasional special sections that need to be exempted for limited reasons).

I think it is rare that a building would not have been substantially renovated since 1968 and therefore remain exempt. In one sense, it was sad to file the complaint, because it is a gorgeous, mission style stucco building. And the inside is so quaint. But my people can't go mail a package without help!

That really makes no sense, the ADA not applying to an old federal building. Let me see if my disability rights friend has any suggestions.

Barely Anon -- If this is amicable, the couple involved might have talked about keeping things steady and loving for the kids involved. It would be weird for them to just lose a parent figure and an entire extended family. You might mention to your relative that you hope the girls can still be in touch, they have meant so much to your daughter -- see how it goes. xoxo

Esperanza, I cannot believe that the ADA doesn't apply! It may be a problem of figuring out the right path to get that enforced. And yes, even your kids can see that a lack of access is a big fat problem.

I was not aware of that internment camp, but entire families of Japanese Americans from my state were interned during WWII. A great many were born in the US. Some were fortunate that neighbors looked after their businesses and property. I was a fly on the wall a couple times when older relatives of friends talked about "camp" -- the schools set up there, how hot and crowded they were, the limited food, on and on -- this is not something that older Japanese people talked about very often, having wanted to put that all behind them later.

It is hard not to recall that time, with all the blind racial hatred that keeps popping up these days.

Many of the Japanese Americans at this camp were from your state, kathy a. The point at which I finally cried was at the very end of the book: a clergyperson who was the U.S. person for a sect of Shinto called Konko had been imprisoned at Crystal City. In the intervening years, his church building had been turned into an apartment building with 12 units, all occupied by African-American families. When he was finally released, he returned to find this situation. He explained to them that he had been imprisoned on account of his race, and that their home had been his church, and they all agreed to find other places to live.

I'm not sure why the preview says this was the only family camp -- my understanding was that families were interned together, mostly. But I had not heard about "prisoner exchanges," which sound very shocking.

One book I read before is called Farewell to Manzanar (one of the camps). Near us is the Rosie the Riveter Homefront WWII Museum, which includes an exhibit about the internment camps (and sells that book). There were giant shipyards and related industries all along the waterfront on our side of the bay, and the museum is in a part of that; and also, there had been and is again a sizeable Japanese American population nearby. My own town is doing some redevelopment, and insisted on preserving a building that was once a Japanese florist shop, when approving a big senior apartment complex to be built around it on the surrounding property. My community is really into remembering.

The kids went out to dinner with us -- at a Louisiana style restaurant. Great food, and nice to be together. My beloved planned it last minute, so my DIL wasn't able to make it. Her friend is a server there, though, and even though the friend wasn't working she had a colleague send over some begniets as a gift! Nummers.

Today's my daughter's last day of work. Week after next, we'll go apartment hunting in the town where she's moving.

Still trying to work out an agreement, with something temporary in place to cover the first 2 weeks of summer only.

GAL did find a history of DV and recommended STBX get the evaluation/treatment he's been refusing for the past year after it was recommended by several other professionals/authorities, but said it shouldn't impact the parenting plan because our being separated removes that issue/dynamic (as if someone else choosing to have abusive behavior and attitudes is only because of me--feels like victim-blaming to me, big-time) and the kids said everything is fine now and they have no concerns.

But I was found primary caregiver, and she's recommending that toddler start out slowly and gradually work up to the same schedule as the older kids by 1st grade. Which is slightly better in some ways than what we have now. They'll still go 5 overnights out of every 2 weeks, but all at once now instead of so much back and forth. And 50/50 week on/week off in the summer.

She was more concerned about me expressing concerns (to her and other professionals--not to the kids) about his behavior than she was about said behavior, at least insofar as it impacted the kids. But at least she narrowly decided that it was me having excessive anxiety rather than parental alienation on my part. :/

((( PK ))) Hope you come to a swift agreement about the first couple weeks, at least.

I'm seeing some really big and good news in that report -- you are the primary caregiver, and they will be with you the bulk of the time; the GAL sees the DV and recommends he get that treatment he has put off; that things go slowly in terms of your toddler transitioning to the schedule the others are on; and also, that she recommends a more reasonable visitation schedule, instead of so much back and forth.

Not so hot on the idea that he's "only" triggered by you. But she is wanting him to do the evaluation and treatment that everybody (but him) thinks is needed -- he won't be able to put that off any more.

That part about your health not being a concern? I think that is great -- that she agrees you are a perfectly fine parent, and managing your health. It's not something he can bludgeon you with!

Of course, you have concerns about his behavior. She did not find those invalid -- she validated the DV -- nor did she say you are dumping them on the kids.

If he acts out in the future -- I think maybe he is on notice now. He has to comply with the evaluation and therapy. She will keep watching, to see if he does that, make sure he is not turning his whatever against the kids, or taking steps to trash or harm you.

What kathy a said, mostly. I share your concern about the victim-blaming nature of the DV issue, as she states it. We all know that DV correlates with other kinds of violence, not connected to the person's domestic partner. But hopefully the counseling and the close watch will address those concerns.

Old Skool: I am at the office, and my hair is in my face, and I do not have anything to get it out of my face except a paperclip.

AW: I'm at the office, with peace and quiet, and time to work thanks to Mr. E, who already had the Baboos for an entire day this week and offered for today, too. <3

I've noticed that a friend on the book of visages regularly likes an art page, and I want to buy some stuff I see there. It turns out the art person is my friend's daughter! Just a little unexpected joy.

Thinking of you, PK. I'm glad that the report was better for you than for him, sorry that it wasn't the best it could be for you. Sorrier that there seems to be a blame the victim attitude showing in it.

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