No Longer Is Vajazzling Enough. Now We Can Re-Fur!

In yet another attempt to take our bourgeois bodies to another level of beauty torture, we women (and I’m assuming me, too) can have our mons pubis decorated with feather and fur.

Yes, that’s right. After you’ve shaved/waxed/lasered off your pubic hair, New York salon Completely Bare will apply real feathers and real fur to your Down There. Salon owner and former Real Housewives of New York cast member, Cindy Barshop has recently added “foxy bikini” and “carnivale bikini” to her list of available services.

Among the way-too-many, why-in-the-world questions I have about this service include “Why add animal fur when you can grow your own?” and “How do I keep the feathers from looking like a hot mess once I take a shower, wear pants, or have the sex during the 3 days it stays applied?”

Can we women in the middle class draw the line here? Do we need to be more like the wasteful spenders of the upper class and throw our money at ridiculous vagina accouterments?

Or is this the next Louboutin where we’ll be flaunting our fupa feathers like they’re the next red sole?

Okay. I don’t even know where to start. Yes I do. Why??? Really. Who would pay for this sh*t??? And why would you want to? I mean, wouldn’t that be really uncomfortable?

I can’t even imagine how much they charge to glue feathers to your cash & prizes. But if you did wake up one day and think to yourself “Hey! I want to tar & feather my snatch!” you can buy a big bag of feathers from Michaels and some eyelash glue & do the whole thing yourself for $2.