Everything We Learned From Last Night's Episode of The Walking Dead

Last week's premiere of The Walking Dead ended with Rick's plan to lead tens of thousands of walkers away from Alexandria backfiring—as these plans often do—spectacularly. Just as it seemed as though everything was going to go off without a hitch, a mysterious horn began sounding in the distance and instead of leading the walkers away from the compound, it began attracting them to it. Derp.

(If you need more of a refresher, here is a guy on YouTube giving a 22-minute recap of the entire episode while wearing full zombie makeup because sure. Why not?)

The horn left us with a lot of questions: who was behind it? How are the people of Alexandria going to defend themselves with Rick and co preoccupied? Can something go right. Just. Freaking. Once?

Here is everything we learnt this week.

The horn wasn't part of anyone's master plan

Yes, it had something to do with the Wolves storming Alexandria. But even those psychos aren't crazy enough to put themselves in the path of Coachella-sized herd of walkers. They're only crazy enough to try and take out a sniper with an articulated lorry being driven by a zombie. And thus we have the horn. It's almost too obvious.

We're back to normal, non-black-and-white flashbacks

Thank God. Look, here is young Enid wandering dazed in the wilderness in full technicolor before arriving at Alexandria. Much better.

Now what's she doing? Is she scrawling "JSS" in the dirt? Hey, that's the name of this episode! What can it mean? I hope we find out. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

This season is going to be gnarly AF

We're two episodes in and I've already lost count of the number of stabbings. And, look, here is young Enid again. Now what's she doing?

Oh shit, she's eating raw tortoise with her bare hands. Dang. I told you this season was metal.

Even the anti-smoking PSAs are hella brutal

I mean, I know smoking kills, but this is ridiculous. No, but seriously, this whole episode was a freaking bloodbath.

Don't fuck with Carol... still

Remember I said I lost count of the number of stabbings? Well, cold-blooded Carol was responsible for at least 75 percent of them. And now I think about it, she was pretty quick to cake her face in wolf blood during the attack. It's almost as if she enjoyed pretending she was part of a pack of death-worshipping sociopaths a little too much.

Never leave a backpack containing detailed plans about your well-supplied gated community just lying around during a zombie apocalypse

Just saying it might get you found by a marauding death cult, Aaron.

Morgan is kind of like Dog the Bounty Hunter

He doesn't have a gun, and once he catches up to you all he wants to do is have a heart-to-heart about how you need to turn your life around.