Although this is a very interesting story, I have some things that I would to point out.

Firstly, if you could use less narrating and more showing, Like I mean it’s good that you’re narrating telling us about the story but I think instead of telling us everything that has happened, maybe you could show it us as flashbacks or something.

Another thing is that, you should fix your spot directing and like your characters’ scale, in some scenes they look really big that it almost looks weird e.g during the graduation scene all characters look a bit weird and big maybe try like to reduce their scales to make them look better.

Don’t forget your Animations!!! And also don’t overuse the same animation on one character…

Make every episode interesting so that we can read the next episode, like just after just reading the first episode, It was very short like realllyy short and there wasn’t much in it.

I’m sorry if I sound really harsh, this is your first story and you’ll definitely get better keep working on it and just fix those little things xx

I’m sorry again if I sound really harsh…
You can review mine as well and leave any critics if necessary!!

Thank you very much for creating this thread, this is very kind of you!

If you are interested in reading a story with several mini-games and where CHOICES REALLY MATTER then, please, give my story a try. I promise, the story will keep you hooked

My story details:

Name of story: H & V: FateAuthor: Alex AfGenre: ThrillerEpisodes: 4 (completed)Summary of story: Young ambitious journalist hunting down a powerful tycoon who has made a fortune based on lies. But who really is a villain here? Choices matter.Link to story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6548486212681728Instagram: @episode.alex.af

Hi ! I’m new at writing, I’m using my phone, published 12 episodes recently and…STRUGGLING having some opinions ! Like I don’t know if what’s in my head gets out clearly enough, for people to understand it like me haha.

Title: Agents of SPECTRUM
Author: Andrew (Drew) Jones
Genre: Adventure
Chapters: 4 with more on the way
Description: When a young lady is recruited by a government agency, her life will change forever.
Instagram: andrewjones.episodes
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5075535578005504

I have just started reading your story and just on the first scene there are a few minor issues such as your animations are a bit off. The part where Angelina is talking to Ari and Maddie, there’s a conversation going on but your characters aren’t moving or animating.
You could fix this by testing your story regularly before moving onto the next scene.

Maybe, if you could add @transitions between screen , like before moving onto the next background.
You seem to be having a problem with spots and like positions of your characters… Some characters are disappearing which makes it look a bit off…

Try adding some zooming and if you don’t mind me saying this but I think you should plan your story thoroughly, Like I get it, you’re trying to tell us a story but there isn’t any excitement in it, your characters are just moving from one place to another which makes it a bit hard to follow on what’s going one in the story.

But overall, we are all new at this and I hope this helps you improve your story a bit.
I’m a bit harsh i am sorry xx.

Title:The Heart Won’t Let Up
Author:Aquarius-kiss
Genre:Romance
Episodes:6 (ongoing)
Style:Ink
Description:Heavenly has been let down her whole life and although she would love to give and receive love, her heart just won’t let up will Ace change that or will it all crumble before them?
Link:6521658929840128

This story is so brilliant and the effects are just so amazing!!!
I love how every scene is just so interesting and makes you want to read more and more to find out what happens next.
The different hair colour ideas, brilliant!
I love this and I’m definitely going to finish reading it!

OMG this is such a great story even on Mobile, I think you should definitely write it on the website because this story is great and deserves a lot animations, zooms to make it even better!
I like how the character of JANE is portrayed, she’s strong and resilient!
This is definitely catchy! I literally want to know what happens in the next episode like WHO IS LIAM???
This is so good, I will add it to my favorites and start reading it everyday!

Only thing I have to say is please write on web…You could definitely make it much better with some advantages we have on the web which mobile doesn’t give us!!

Hope you read my story
Title: Mind games
Author: Dawn_88
Episodes: 4 ongoing
Style: INK
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4846117846384640
Description: Max Cole is one of the top neurosurgeons in C.A. But everything changes when she’s exposed to a blood virus that gives her the ability to hear everyone’s thoughts around her. CC
Cover:

Title: H & V: From Zero to Hero
Author: Dr.Smile
Description: Jax is the disabled loser of Mediocreopolis High, but one odd day, his life is completely transformed by a–burrito?! Drama, choices, romance, evil, and deception await.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4697049362202624 6
Thank you if you gave my story a try!

title: Falling For You
Author: MargotEp26
Description: You are a lovely grown woman, but what happens when you cross the path of Mr. Kennedy, a famous businessman? Worse, will you be able to deal with your life or death problem?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5163722153000960
Thank you for reading my story

[DEMON GOD]
Author: E.Z.
Genre: Fantasy
Style: Ink
Chapters: 8 (on going)
Instagram: @e.z.episode
Description: He starved himself for three hundred years in order to abide by a woman’s promise. Everyone in Devildom is waiting for him to die.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4678673313693696