A blog for people who already know grammar, spelling, their Strunk & White and Chicago Manual of Style, etc, etc...but want to be the best writers they can be.
I boil words out of submitted samples to make the writing as tight and clean as possible, without changing content or tone.

Lots
of people have great ideas and they turn them into books. There are hundreds of thousands of novels
released every year. As a writer, you
have to figure out how to rise to the top.
To some extent, this requires that you become a shameless self-promoter.

A
shameless self-promoter is always willing to talk about their books. I remember setting up for a signing at a
Barnes and Noble one time and a young lady was asking me about one of my
books. I fumbled through my description;
she smiled, and walked on – missed opportunity.

Those
who have posted a book know that getting the book out there is one thing, but
marketing it is an entirely different operation and many of us are out of are
element when it comes to that. I’m not
saying you have to become a carnival huckster or the next Sham-Wow guy, but you
need to know the good points of your books and be able to recite them on a
moment’s notice. Up until a couple weeks
ago, Confessions of a D-List Supervillain was the top rated superhero novel on
Amazon. (Curse you Stacey Rourke!) Being able to guess the person’s likes and dislikes
helps to. My rule of thumb is that if I
make eye contact for more than three seconds, it’s time to start talking, be
personable, make a few jokes, and hopefully sell some books.

If
you want practice at one on one sales, I suggest you go visit a flea market and
see how the successful tables do it, but there is more to being a shameless
self-promoter than the one on one sales.
You have to look for opportunities.
My wife works at an architecture firm and they do a lot of work with the
area hospitals. One of them has an
annual fundraising gala that we weren’t certain we’d be able to go to this
year. Ultimately, we did and only then
did I remember their theme was Superheroes.
Admittedly, it would have cost me some money to donate three hundred and
fifty signed copies of D-List to the organizers as part of their goody bags
(maybe I could’ve just done pens or fridge magnets), but without risk comes no
reward. That was another missed
opportunity for me.

On
the other hand, I was doing quite well selling at ConCarolinas this year. Across from the table I was sharing with
James Maxey was the Carolina Ghostbusters doing their Sci-Fried Eggs
podcast. One of the staff came up and
let them know that Kandyse McClure (Dee on Battlestar Galactica and the convention’s
guest of honor), was going to be delayed for thirty minutes. Game on!
I scooped up a copy of Prime Suspects: A Clone Detective Mystery and
D-List and headed on over. Sure enough,
I got on the podcast and had a great time hanging out with them.

Also,
it’s about listening and social networking.
See what other authors are doing to market their work and see if it’s
right for you. Imitation is the best
form of flattery and it can also help your sales.

The Condensation:

Lots of people have great ideas and they turn them into books. There are hundreds of thousands of novels
released every year. As a writer, you
have to figure out how to rise to the top.
To some extent, this requires that you become a shameless self-promoter.

The
first sentence takes the form of "this exists, and does something."
We can boil it down by combining the clauses. And then we can merge it with the
next sentence!

"As
a writer, you have to" = "A writer has to".

The fourth
sentence can boil a little by removing the "become", thus rendering
it more active.

Hundreds
of thousands of people turn great ideas into books every year. A writer has to figure out how to rise to the
top. To some extent, this requires shameless
self-promotion.

A shameless self-promoter is always willing to talk about their
books. I remember setting up for a
signing at a Barnes and Noble one time and a young lady was asking me about one
of my books. I fumbled through my
description; she smiled, and walked on – missed opportunity.

"is
always willing to" = "will always"

We
don't need to tell people that we remember something--if we didn't, we wouldn't
be able to tell them about it! While "Once while" isn't shorter than
"I remember", it's less obtrusive and allows us to remove the
"and".

I don't
know that the location of the signing is integral to the point.

I'd
ditch the comma in the last sentence, and boil out "missed opportunity"
as well, as this is clear from what happened--especially if we add an
"unprepared" at the beginning of the sentence.

A
shameless self-promoter will always talk about their books. Once while setting up for a signing a young
lady asked me about my book. Unprepared,
I fumbled through my description; she smiled and walked on.

Those who have posted a book know that getting the book out there is
one thing, but marketing it is an entirely different operation and many of us
are out of are element when it comes to that.
I’m not saying you have to become a carnival huckster or the next
Sham-Wow guy, but you need to know the good points of your books and be able to
recite them on a moment’s notice. Up
until a couple weeks ago, Confessions of a D-List Supervillain was the top
rated superhero novel on Amazon. (Curse
you Stacey Rourke!) Being able to guess
the person’s likes and dislikes helps to.
My rule of thumb is that if I make eye contact for more than three
seconds, it’s time to start talking, be personable, make a few jokes, and
hopefully sell some books.

Before
splitting up the first run-on sentence, let's see if we can't boil it down. As
our audience is authors (or aspiring authors), we can boil out most of the
description. We don't need to say that publishing and marketing are different,
just that many people are out of their element when doing so (and fix the "are/our"
typo in the process.)

"I'm
not saying" is clutter: we never have to say what we're not saying. Or at
least, we never have to say that we're not saying it. What we want to do is say
what we're saying!

Also,
I'd pick either "carnival huckster" or "the next Sham-Wow
guy"--I like "Sham-Wow guy" more than "carnival
huckster", but an international audience might not recognize it, and
furthermore it's becoming more dated every day.

The
latter two clauses can be condensed, because one can hardly recite what one
doesn't know.

The
information about Confessions of a D-List Supervillain may be something we want
to convey to the reader, but it's out of place in this paragraph. Bona fides
should come at the beginning or the end of the piece.

"Being
able to" is clutter. (Let's fix the to/too typo, too.) But I'm not sure
this sentence fits with the rest of the piece; it's not advice, it's just a
statement of something that's self-evident. Some people will be good at it,
others won't, but everyone understands that it will help you in just about
every dealing with another person. Thus, let's boil it out.

We don't
need to state that there's a rule of thumb, just give it.

I think
the "rule of threes" dictates that we boil out one of the four
actions at the end of the paragraph. Given that one cannot make jokes while not
talking, I think "start talking" is the best choice to boil out. And
ditch the adverb.

Many
of us are out of our element when it comes to marketing. You don't have to become a carnival huckster,
but you must be able to recite the good points of your books on a moment’s
notice. If you make eye contact for more
than three seconds, it’s time to be personable, make a few jokes, and sell some
books.

If you want practice at one on one sales, I suggest you go visit a
flea market and see how the successful tables do it, but there is more to being
a shameless self-promoter than the one on one sales. You have to look for opportunities. My wife works at an architecture firm and
they do a lot of work with the area hospitals.
One of them has an annual fundraising gala that we weren’t certain we’d
be able to go to this year. Ultimately,
we did and only then did I remember their theme was Superheroes. Admittedly, it would have cost me some money
to donate three hundred and fifty signed copies of D-List to the organizers as
part of their goody bags (maybe I could’ve just done pens or fridge magnets),
but without risk comes no reward. That
was another missed opportunity for me.

We can
assume that people who don't want to practice one-on-one sales won't follow
this (excellent) piece of advice anyway. And like rules of thumb, you don't
have to say that you suggest something, just suggest it.

"go
visit" = "visit", and I'd change the "and" to
"to"...and I'd break this sentence up after "do it".
"There is" = "there's", "being a shameless self-promoter"
= "shameless self-promotion", and we can ditch the "the"
before "one on one". "You have to look for opportunities"
can be condensed with the "there are" from the previous sentence.

"and
they do a lot of work with the area hospitals" = "that works with
area hospitals"...except that I don't like the echo on "works".
Let's change the second "works" to "contracts".

The
detail that you possibly weren't able to go to the gala is moot to the story.

"It
would have cost a lot to" = "I couldn't afford to", "to the
organizers as part of their" = "for their", and the
"without risk comes no reward" is sufficient a cliche that it can
boil out with no loss of content.

The
parenthetical deserves its own sentence, and by changing "could've"
to "should've", we render the final statement redundant.

To
practice one on one sales, visit a flea market to see how the successful tables
do it. But there are opportunities for shameless self-promotion other than one
on one sales. My wife works at an
architecture firm that contracts with area hospitals. One of them has an annual fundraising gala,
that year with the theme "Superheroes". I couldn't afford to donate three hundred and
fifty signed copies of D-List for their goody bags. In retrospect, I should’ve done
pens or fridge magnets.

On the other hand, I was doing quite well selling at ConCarolinas
this year. Across from the table I was
sharing with James Maxey was the Carolina Ghostbusters doing their Sci-Fried
Eggs podcast. One of the staff came up
and let them know that Kandyse McClure (Dee on Battlestar Galactica and the
convention’s guest of honor), was going to be delayed for thirty minutes. Game on!
I scooped up a copy of Prime Suspects: A Clone Detective Mystery and
D-List and headed on over. Sure enough,
I got on the podcast and had a great time hanging out with them.

"On
the other hand" is clutter, and "I was doing quite well selling"
= "My books sold well". I had to read the second sentence twice; it
could use a reorganization. Along the way, "I was sharing with" =
"I shared", and "doing their" can be replaced with
"'s". Sci-Fried Eggs is a weird enough term to suggest quotation
marks.

"One
of the staff came up and let them know that" = "They learned
that", and "was going to be delayed for thirty minutes" =
"was thirty minutes late".

The
scooping up and heading on over can be condensed.

"Game
on!" and "Sure enough" might be clutter, but they fit the
colloquial, familiar tone of the piece, so I'm going to spare them from a good
boiling.

My
books sold well at ConCarolinas this year.
I shared a table with James Maxey, across from the Carolina
Ghostbusters's "Sci-Fried Eggs" podcast. They learned that Kandyse McClure (Dee on
Battlestar Galactica and the convention’s guest of honor), was thirty minutes
late. Game on! I headed over with copies of Prime Suspects: A Clone Detective Mystery
and D-List. Sure enough, I got on the podcast and had a
great time hanging out with them.

Also, it’s about listening and social networking. See what other authors are doing to market
their work and see if it’s right for you.
Imitation is the best form of flattery and it can also help your sales.

This
isn't a boil, but an editorial comment: "Also, it's" is rather vague.
I think it reads better with "Sale are".

"what
other authors are doing to market" = "how other authors market",
and I'm changing the second "see" to "determine" to avoid
the echo.

The
final sentence adds no content, so out it boils.

Sales
are about listening and social networking.
See how other authors market their work and determine if it’s right for you.

The Result:

...well,
not so fast. Upon a re-read, I found that the first sentence of the third
paragraph belongs in the introduction, and the first sentence of the fourth
paragraph works better as the end of the second paragraph. This kind of thing happens quite a bit with a boiling--you find that, distilled down, things need to move around a little.

With
that bit of rearrangement, this is what we end up with:

Hundreds
of thousands of people turn great ideas into books every year. A writer has to figure out how to rise to the
top. Many of us are out of our element when it comes to marketing, which to
some extent requires shameless self-promotion.

A
shameless self-promoter will always talk about their books. Once while setting up for a signing a young
lady asked me about my book. Unprepared,
I fumbled through my description; she smiled and walked on. To practice one on one sales, visit a flea
market to see how the successful tables do it.

You
don't have to become a carnival huckster, but you must be able to recite the
good points of your books on a moment’s notice.
If you make eye contact for more than three seconds, it’s time to be
personable, make a few jokes, and sell some books.

But
there are opportunities for shameless self-promotion other than one on one
sales. My wife works at an architecture
firm that contracts with area hospitals.
One of them has an annual fundraising gala, that year with the theme
"Superheroes". I couldn't
afford to donate three hundred and fifty signed copies of D-List for their goody bags. In retrospect, I should’ve done pens
or fridge magnets.

My
books sold well at ConCarolinas this year.
I shared a table with James Maxey, across from the Carolina
Ghostbusters's "Sci-Fried Eggs" podcast. They learned that Kandyse McClure (Dee on
Battlestar Galactica and the convention’s guest of honor) was thirty minutes
late. Game on! I headed over with copies of Prime Suspects: A Clone Detective Mystery
and D-List. Sure enough, I got on the podcast and had a
great time hanging out with them.

Sales
are about listening and social networking.
See how other authors market their work and determine if it’s right for you.