Friday, September 10, 2010

The only reason I watched it is because of the remake. I haven't seen that but this was on netflix. Like most movies of its kind and era, it moves slowly and is more of a contemplation on the evils of biological warfare I guess. If you've got nothing better to do it is worth an Instant View. Hell, that's pretty much all I use my netflix account for anymore anyway.

So I bought a little 50cc scooter for cheap off of craigslist for $120 dollars. The owner couldn't get it running. I figured he was just not really willing to put the time into tuning it up. All I really needed to do was adjust the valve tappet clearances. Took me all of ten minutes. The thing ran like a dream until yesterday I got a flat rear tire. No big deal I thought, just take the wheel of and repair the leak. I had to remove the muffler to get the tire off, no easy task since these things are meant to be worked on by oompa-loompas or some other thing with tiny little hands like a hobbit or chinaman. After removing the muffler and removing the tire I found that the previous owner was too lazy to get new tires and instead put tubes inside the already decrepit tires. I shredded the tube trying to take the tire off, and needed to get it replaced today. My new tires are on the way now, I'll be replacing them soon. I can't wait to take the muffler off again to put actual tires on it with actual valve stems, sans tubes. This means I've put a total of $40 dollars into it and about two hours of work so far. I can't wait until something else goes wrong so I have to tear the entire thing apart again. ramble ramble ramble.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Timing is everything they say. if so, how is it really possible to time something semi-static like a blog? In so many ways the internet defies timing. It's hard to have an "event" on the internet without some pretty complex planning.
This may be a stupid ramble but it is a stupid ramble.

A few years back, when I was living in Puerto Rico, I had to take care of my uncle's dog for a while. He was a big Golden Retriever and his name was Sasu. After about 3 days, I was extremely turned on and without a boyfriend, so this dog in my pussy seemed like a pretty good idea. One day, I decided to go for a walk and take the dog with me. I was conveniently wearing a skirt and once we reached a pretty secluded street, I pulled up my skirt and got on all fours. At first the dog just sniffed my butt around but once he got the idea, he got on top of me and started humping my butt through my panties. He kept banging against my clit and my juices were flowing to pretty much everywhere. I didn't let him inside me yet because I was too afraid. I mean, think about it. That's pretty fucking gross. But anyways. Whenever I got back home, I sat on the front porch. My uncle had come back and was ready to pick up the dog but he was inside talking to my sister. My uncle told me to stay outside with Sasu for a while, so I did. While we were out there, I was sitting on a bench with my legs spread open and Sasu kept trying to stick his nose in my crotch. Usually, I'd push his face away and close my legs, but I was extremely wet and was dripping everywhere. So I let Sasu lick it up. Since I had never been eaten out before, I really didn't know that what I was doing was sexual in the least, but I realized that it felt really good and was only making me wetter. Even after I came Sasu was still licking it all up and the front of my skirt was soaked in a combination of my pussy juice and Sasu's saliva. Once I had to go back inside, I just twisted my skirt to the side and went to my room to change.

So there you go. That's my pretty embarrassing and sick story. Also not copypasta, I assure you. Also inb4 TITS OR GTFO, no girls on the internets, pics or it didn't happen, etc. Also, pic unrelated.

Hey guys, I am 14 years old, and I have boobs. One day I was asleep in my bed, than I wolk up to a very surprising treat, I had boobs. I felt very astonished. Why would the good lawrd jebus give poor old Zurela boobs? My first instinct was to call my boyfriend and tell him, so I did. I knew we would abuse my love for my "Chesticles" but I didn't mind. So later on in the day he came over, and he was astonished too. My mother had not yet noticed, but my father had to check for breast cancer, thankfully he did, he checked for 7 and a half hours and found nothing, he said he needs to check everyday because my mom had it once and he didn't want to loose me like he lost my mom, cause she died. Anyways so my Boyfriend came over and he checked too, apparently Breast cancer is a very serious disease, but I didn't tell him about dada because I know he just wanted to be sure because he loved me. So after about a hour or two of that we played WoW and we lvled up, he told me I gave him an "erevecton" you know, that thing when it forces you outta the house, but I just ignored the comment because I am not his landlord, I just think he was being silly. He went home, and dad told me the power of boobs, and he told be if I have to be under heavy surveillance in the shower because if I don't scrub my "boobs' enough a demon will come out and kill us all. This is how mom died, so he says. So I washed this thoroughly and he made sure they are clean Enough. I really love how my boobs made everyone care about me more, and ladies I had no idea the upkeep of these things, so if there is any more tips I need, please tell me!

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.