So I started with my misbelief
that I shouldn’t attempt college because I’m inadequate to those seeking a college
education. This was instilled in me when I was growing up and struggled in
school. This belief kept me out of academia and away from failure, humiliation
or displaying incompetence. Or so my father told me. I chose the successful
path of secretary with a regular paycheck and married and became a mother like my
mom, sisters, and friends.

I was safe in my cozy box of
motherhood, safe from any fear of failure until my disabled daughter signed up
for high school classes. Then I needed to choose whether to be a failure at
guiding my children or disabled child or a failure at attempting college.

The ticking clock begins as I am
forced by a comment made from a high school guidance counselor, an
educated person respected in society, to either re-teach my daughter as best I
could, the material needed to pass high school by educating myself first
through college classes, or condemn her to only special education classes in
high school.

So you may ask why I was so
afraid of failure in college.

Because, in my mind, if I fail at
my attempt to obtain a college degree, I have wasted the time I could have
spent with the family, trying to achieve a goal that was not possible for me. My
father would be right. I am not college material.

But my family is everything to
me. If I failed college, I would have wasted my family’s time, which is more
precious to me. It’s ok to waste your own time but not someone else’s,
especially when you love them.

So what do you think of my memoir
problem and ticking clock? Any comments you offer are greatly appreciated.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Memoir
must be told in story with all the story elements in place. But of course, everything must be true.

And that’s why memoir is so difficult!

Up
the ante, build, complicate, add twists and turns, find resolution—in memoir. Nuts! It’s extremely difficult when it is all
personal and needs to be true. And then
add insight. Yes, insight in memoir as well as in fiction. The protagonist must share insight into her actions. The reader must follow along her inner
thoughts to see how she works out her story problems. How she grows; how she changes.

To
get emotion on the page, the protagonist must be vulnerable. Easier when it is a fictitious character you
are writing about than yourself. But I
understand that to be able to connect with readers, to get that “me too”
feeling, I must allow them into my mind, my worries, my thoughts, my
decisions. This is what makes memoir so
powerful, so transformative to others. It’s about why the situation or action matters
to the protagonist. Why does it matter
that Victoria goes to college at this time?
What does going to college mean to Victoria?

Memoir
as in fiction, tough questions need to be asked and then answered. And the content of these answers need to be
important to the characters. This,
ladies and gentlemen, is what I’m struggling with. And this is why I’d wish I didn’t know that
memoir needs to be told like a story.
Then I could write my memoir like a collection of humorous
anecdotes. But then it wouldn’t be as
meaningful to others. There’s the reason
why we authors keep looking to better our skills in writing.