Napoleon - My Fake Diary

As the biting winds of Ulm howl outside, I reflect on my meeting just now, with my top Marechaux, Ney and Murat ( that's Marshalls, to any Anglais spies perusing my Annals of Caesarean Brilliance)

Eh bien, it always bothers me ,that they are both, though inferior mentally, taller and more attractive to 'les femmes' than me...

I've noted how my Josephine goes all fluttery in their presence and how she always says, after they have LEFT : 'why the hell don't you wear a curly wig and a pair of raised heels, then you would look less like a prematurely bald wine-waiter and more like a World conquering Military Genius and you wouldn't need to stand on a chair to reach my waist and ...Well, Voilà...C'est La Vie, je suppose

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