Your daily resource for creating intentional change in your life

Happiness

03/29/2010

Gratitude opens our hearts to the love that is all around us. It is about taking nothing for granted, and reminding ourselves that even in the midst of chaos and disaster there is still good to be found. When I find myself under a great deal of stress (or in a great deal of distress), I will often pause and find three things that I am grateful for in that moment. Especially when I am angry with someone I find it helpful to remind myself of how grateful I am for all they have done for me and how much their affection means to me.

Gratitude connects us with others, and makes us humble. It allows us to release resentment, and to be in the moment with pure appreciation. Imagine receiving a compliment, and simply saying "Thank you!" You honor the giver by not demurring, and you honor yourself by believing in the compliment's sincerity. Gratitude is one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself!

Today, find as many things as you can to be grateful for. Write them down, if you are called, share them with others (and your fellow blog readers, in the comments section) if you feel open, or just whisper your gratitudes to yourself all day long as you notice them. Be mindful of how it makes you feel to be grateful, and carry that with you. If you are interested in a series of wonderfully supportive emails on the subject of gratitude, head to the World Gratitude Gathering and sign up for their newsletter. (I'm not affiliated with their project, merely an appreciative subscriber!) Mix it up, and give yourself the gift of gratitude!

03/23/2010

When I was a child, I read somewhere that each new experience grants you 22 more days of life. Over the years, it has become a family tradition -- one year at the holidays my mom sent me a package of several months' worth of extended lifespan in the form of new beauty products to try! Whether or not you truly gain an exact number of days from trying new things, there are three huge benefits to mixing it up in your life.

1. New experiences really can contribute to a longer life. A common link amongst people who are living in their 90s and beyond is use of new technologies including the internet, email, cell phones, and more. Reports from the Centers for Disease Control attribute higher life expectancy to a variety of things such as healthier lifestyles and advances in medicine, but also to decreased stress in people who live more active lives. They define "active" not just as physical exercise, but also social interaction, travel, and regular mental activity. So get out there and get those 22 days!

2. Just trying new things can make you happier. Most people define "boredom" as "having nothing to do," and according to an article by Anna Gosline in Scientific American Mind, boredom puts people at risk of higher anxiety, depression, performing poorly at work/school, and a host of other ills. Richard Walker, a psychologist at Winston-Salem State University, has written several very interestingarticles on something called "fading effect bias" -- how we tend to focus on the positive things in our memories more than the negative ones. Crucially, he has also found that people who "engage in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have fewer experiences." Not only will you be less bored (and therefore healthier) if you try something new; you'll also improve your overall outlook on life.

3. Until you try something you have never done before, you will never know if it's something you will love. As a teen one of my cousins taught me to play a collectible card game; it turned into a passion for games and stories that became a 10 year career. On a whim in high school a friend lent me a collection of Japanese animation videos, and my interest in the culture and language turned into a college degree. Recently my friend Chris took me out to play disc golf, and I spent a great day out in the sun hiking through bushes to find my lost disc. If you try something new it could lead to a new relationship, a new job, or a hobby that gives you pleasure for years to come!

Based on these three benefits, I decided to challenge myself to try one new thing every single day during the month of April. I challenge you to do the same! It doesn't have to cost money (I'm going to attend the free Seattle Cherry Blossom Festival in mid-April, for example), and it doesn't even have to mean leaving your house (I plan to try to cook real Chinese food!). And it's up to you how new it is -- perhaps you don't normally make time to read books, so reading for pleasure every night would be a new and enjoyable experience.

If you have any ideas for new experiences to pursue in April, leave a comment below. I look forward to sharing my month of mixing it up, and I can't wait to hear about your journeys as well!

03/22/2010

When you were in elementary school, what did you want to be when you grew up? A teacher, a firefighter, an astronaut? According to some papers my mom saved, I wanted to be a rainforest explorer specializing in the top canopy, looking for cures and new animals. I'm willing to bet, whatever it was, that you wanted to be something awesome. Something that sounded like the most fun thing you could possibly do for the rest of your life because if you have to spend your whole life doing it, why not have fun?

So what are you doing now? Are you having fun? And if not, why?

Grab a piece of paper and pen, open up a text file, or even turn on the voice notes function on your smart phone. Now take a few minutes to journal the answers to these two questions. (When you're done, share a comment on this blog with an answer to one or both!):

1. What activity would you do for free, purely out of a sense of passion?

2. Imagine you woke up this morning to a phone call saying you had just won the state lottery. It was all yours, but there was a condition: You had to continue to work for the rest of your life and you could use the money to live on, but not to fund any professional endeavor. Now, what would you do?

These questions are from page 23 of Jonathan Fields' incredible book Career Renegade: How to Make a Great Living Doing What You Love. He takes you through extremely practical exercises designed to help you figure out what you love to do, and then how to make a living doing it. There are no vague, feel-good pronouncements; everything in his short, easy-to-read manual is applicable in the real world. There are chapters on everything from figuring out your niche (would your love of cars be better suited to running a detailing business, creating a car advice website, or putting on car conventions?), marketing yourself both online and off, becoming an expert in your field, and preparing yourself for the challenges of a renegade lifestyle.

This book was a huge inspiration and help to me when I decided to pursue my dreams, and I cannot recommend it enough to anyone who would like to do the same! You can find it on Amazon.com or your local bookstore. Mix it up, and do something you love!

(Disclaimer: neither Mr. Fields nor his publisher know who I am, I was not paid for this review, and I bought my own copy at Powell's City of Books in Portland, OR!)

03/20/2010

Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California at Riverside has been doing studies to determine "happiness boosters" -- simple ways in which people can increase the (admittedly very subjective) emotion of happiness. She found that performing acts of altruism or kindness -- at least five kind acts in a week -- gave a measurable boost to her subjects. Christopher Peterson, at the University of Michigan, found similar results in his studies, saying that "Giving makes you feel good about yourself. When you're volunteering, you're distracting yourself from your own existence… You have a sense of purpose because you matter to someone else." Of course, there are the objective benefits as well -- you will have cleaned a beach, fed someone hungry, read to someone blind, or built a house for someone homeless. The satisfaction to be gained from seeing something that you have personally contributed to (especially since many of us create only intangibles such as "customer service" or "technical support") cannot be denied.

So if, like me, you feel like maybe now you should bother volunteering your time, how do you find it? If you have a family, the best way is do it together! As a girl in 4-H growing up, my family all went out to help me on my beach cleaning projects. Not only did I give great service to my community, but I got to spend quality time with my mother and sister! It can also be just as easy as scheduling it on a Saturday the way you would schedule changing the oil in your car or visiting a friend. People generally think that volunteering means "every single Friday night" or "20 hours a week," but the truth is that there are many one-time opportunities that will allow you to get out into the community and see what it's like without having to overcommit your already busy schedule.

You have the motivation, you have the time, now where do you start? Fire up the internet, and type "Volunteer [your city or region]" into your favorite search engine. If you live in Seattle, Flash Volunteer is a great place to start as well. Mix it up, and give a little back to those around you!

(Info on psychological studies from "The New Science of Happiness," by Claudia Wallis for Time.com on January 9, 2005. Photo from the flickr Creative Commons Pool, taken by D Sharon Pruitt.)