I fail at fail pvping

This time around I planned to actually participate in hulkageddon. So, about a week and a half ago I made two fresh alts, joined them to my main corp and started their skillplans, going for thermodynamics, drone interfacing and the support skills. Then bought 70 thoraxes in jita and 70 thorax fits in Dodixie (thanks missioners!). Three hours before hulkageddon 3 starts, I realize that hulkageddon is going to start in three hours when I thought it was about eight hours away. Unfortunatley, I’m in the middle of garden chores for my grandmother.

One hour, four holly bushes and three car chases later I was at home. I booted up my two laptops, plan in mind. The theory was, I’d appear in system in an orca and two pods, warp to a station. Fit two thoraxes using the station system, put the fitted thoraxes in the maint bay. Warp to a safe, drop combat probes over the belts, pin a hulk, board and warp the thoraxes as fast as possible, land, gank, victory.

I’ve had…difficulties.

So, once I get home, I check evemon on the two characters I’ve been training. One has finished everything but drones V, and the other has finished everything except for Engineering V. Oh, and Gallente frigate IV.

Oops >.>

So, I get one of my nullsec alts, skilled entirely for a logistics BS droneboat. I start him training med hybrid turret, install a JC in the nullsec station I’m sitting in and pod myself back to empire. One hurtle over.

Then it comes to the orca. For those who just downloaded capsuleer or have short term memory loss, my Orca violently exploded completely due to my own idiocy and half-asleepness. For those not in my corp, we have a t1 replacement policy. For those who aren’t a close personal friend of mine, I’m half British. Thus when my CEO contracted me a new Orca for free, I felt horrendously guilty. Not enough to not use the Orca in stupid/risky scenarios, but still, guilty. Anywho, I found the orca on my main account and contracted it to my orca pilot who was currently working as a BS logistics pilot in null. Orca pilot installs JC in null station, pods herself, back to empire. Update clone, accept orca contract…..

I immidiatley buy whatever meta inertial stabalizers are avaliable in station, slap em on and light a fire under my 30-second align time hull. Half an hour later, I arrive in jita and start fitting the orca for cargo and combat probes.

In preparation for the next Hulkageddon, be sure that your alts have some thermodynamics skill, you can pre-overload your guns and potentially get an extra volley off before getting perma-jammed by Concord. In my experience, when using a raven in 0.5 systems, it allows an extra volley, which can make all the difference.

forgot one thing…. if you want to be super sneaky, you can fit a passive targeter and a ship scanner on a barge and go scope out potential victims to be positive they aren’t packing a tank you will be unable to break. But, be sure to fit some mining lasers too, just to complete your disguise. Alternatively, you can fill the same role with an exequror or somesuch, and pretend to be the guy salvaging all the belt wrecks. With the bonus of being able to salvage the exhumers you pop =)