Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Snow Day

I was 16 and had been having intermittent relations with a man in his late 30s.

Like any 16 year old, I not only became obsessed with sex – now that I had experienced it – but with the attention of a real man. I knew what I was and in a world of non-acceptance in the high school world (and really – the entire world), that a grown man would not only take interest in me, but fulfill the sexual parts too.

Obsessed might be a strong word….but I was more than interested. And I was more interested than he was. He probably had multiple outlets. I didn’t. Not yet.

I’m sure I called at inappropriate times and once or twice, stopped by when not invited. Risky for sure – but I was a boy high on hormones. They don’t think with reason or logic. ….much like any man who has SEX on the brain.

One day, in bad weather like it is today, I attempted to get to his house and almost made it. His driveway was steep and unpaved. I got my parents car stuck in it, but only about 1/3 of the way up. And he wasn’t home.

A quick call to him later and he was there and had a friend push me out. You think that would have been the end of it and he would have dismissed me right then and there. And he probably should have. I probably was too annoying to let him.

He took me into his house and let me have it – verbally. But then he let me have it – anally.

Whatever aggression he had for being called out of work, and to have a friend assist a teenager, he worked out on me…and in me. He had me all over his house in various positions pounding me at his will. This was no longer about me – yet totally about me. And totally for him.

He called me every name in the book and told me how incredibly stupid I was (which probably stung more than the names) – while never letting up with his fucking.

He unloaded deep in my gut – as he had in the past. But this time with a little more vengeance than he had previously.

Though I’m sure he already knew it during this fuck – it was the last time he’d use me in any way, shape or form. I didn’t. But I was about to move on in my sexual escapades – finding more parks, bookstores, theatres and bars.