Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Charity Muggers

They are everywhere, Your local High Street, Hanging around on random street corners like hoodies with ASBOS, even Shopping Centres these days are breeding them like ants.

Charity collectors. Those hyped up legal muggers who prey on your conscience and purse in equal measure. With their professional patter that has been honed to perfection (probably at the same place they train Benefit Make up Counter staff) these guys and gals have had the ability to recognise the word NO surgically removed.

Have you ever been collared by one? They follow you down the road using lines that even a desperately horny guy at last knockings would be embarrassed to use. Flattery doesn't even cover the sort of bull they try to feed you to get you to cough up your bank details to donate monthly.

And the SMILES, While they remove the word no from their brains they obviously throw in a couple of stitches at each side of their mouth to give them eerily manic grins that make them look as though they piss glitter.

I would be interested in watching the training seminar these people go through. You must be a special kind of person to be able to take rejection over and over again hoping that the next one says yes. (Back to desperately horny guy again) But that is what they do. It's purely a numbers game for these people. They just keep on coming. And the sheer number of these professional muggers mean that it is impossible to escape. It is like an obstacle course of charity collectors, you can dodge one, possibly climb over another one, even skip past a third. but one of them is gonna getcha, getcha good they will.

Now a trip to my local High Street usually leaves me homicidal with rage (I have to be muzzled and kept on a short leash) at the best of times, But bumping into one or more of these usually leaves me frothing at the mouth. My charitable donations are down to me. I donate to whom I want, when I want. and I won't be guilt-tripped, flattered or harassed into donating to anyone else.

I've tried the "I'm sorry, I don't have time to chat" approach, the "I've already donated to the other guy up the road" even the "I have pepper spray and unless you back the f*** up out of my face I'm gonna unload the whole canister" approach (That one has mixed results) and they still keep coming.

I can't believe that they actually get people to donate on the street, The chances of me giving some random my bank details is about as high as me giving some random my phone number (Not ever gonna happen)

But some people must do it or the whole practice would have died out by now. Do they target a particular group of people that they know are soft touches? Am I perceived as a potential soft touch (Guys, you are definitely barking up the wrong tree there) Who the HELL donates to these people? It is like feeding the pigeons, the more you give them, the more disease-ridden vermin swoop in and try to get a piece.

If you want to donate, then donate directly to the charity. At least then you know that they will get the whole amount.

What? You didn't think these guys did it out the goodness of their hearts did you?

12 comments

Seem to have avoided these thus far, maybe they work more in the "affluent" South! Did once agree to a cancer charity sending me a box to put spare change into and then after four months tally up the change and post them the amount as a cheque. Duly sent off cheque. Got letter saying they hadn't received donation, couldnty actually remember sending, cba finding chq stub so sent £10 cheque. When I got 3rd, 4th & 5th letters and then the phone calls started I decided never aqain.

You have hit on one of my pet hates today! It seems like every day there is a different charity mugger plying his/her trade on my high street. They drive me insane and it is only my good manners that prevent me from telling them to **** off!

I couldn't agree more!! One Chugger crossed a whole shopping centre pathway once just to cut me off & when I said I was in a rush (which I genuinely was) his reply was "what, to rush off and spend more money?" MY response went something along the lines of "what the f's it got to do with you - get out my way!" I love what Sean Lock calls them... Chunts ;) Great post - I'll make sure I'm not eating my lunch next time!! :) x

Complete tossers the lot of them! Harsh but true. When scoped from a guy for GOSH and I said I already give to them privately he said to me, "Don't you care about the poor children?" to which I turned around quite calmly (Amazingly) and told him about my son who had died in that hospital 4 years previously and I didn't need anyone reminding me of that. I called him inconsiderate amongst some other names and stated I would be reporting him. Since then, I find by not making eye contact and pretending I am hearing inpaired helps! Loved your post xx

I'm going to be the dissenting voice here - I work in charity fundraising (although I'm not a chugged) and this form of face to face fundraising works - it brings in huge amounts of money for charity, in the form of committed givers via direct debt, which allows charities to plan ahead in a way irregular cash givers, while valuable, do not. The chiggers have to abide by a code of conduct, one of the most amusing things being the number of steps they can take down the street to engage with you - see the fundraising standards board website for more info!

I also work for a charity and I understand that donations from the public are an important part of a charity's fundraising strategy along with applying for grants.

The issue that I have with 'chuggers' (aside from the fact that they can be obnoxious) is that giving my bank details to a complete stranger on the street on a direct debit form goes against everything that your bank will tell you about keeping your details safe. I have no guarantees that they themselves won't be mugged or that they are honest.

There are many ways to donate to the charity of your choice through gift aid, through your work place via deductions from your paycheque and directly to the charity itself.

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