01. When God Put Teeth in Your Mouth, He Ruined a Perfectly Good Asshole02. There Isn't a Bus Short Enough for You to Throw Up In03. Fucky the Drunk Clown Only Comes Around During a Full Moon04. I'm a Pacifist, and You're Asking for It05. Sayonara Fuckos, I'll See You in Hell06. Matthew McConaughey Hates Armadillos with a Passion07. Unfortunately, the Tide Pod Hysteria Is Driven More by Politics Than Science08. Santa Jesus God Loves You No Matter What09. If You're Going to Be Two-Faced, At Least Make One of Them Pretty10. Camel Toes Aside, the Kardashians Are Photoshop Naturals11. ¿Que? 'Sadilla Supreme