This week, Slate's Gentleman Scholar advised a Miss Bianca on how to attract a writerly boyfriend. Though his response was clever indeed, it may not have been overly helpful, so I thought I'd lend a hand by going straight to the source and finding out what writing men have to say about their ideal women.

Now, bear in mind: some of these quotes come from the mouths of characters, and as such, must be taken with a grain of salt. That said, we all know that everyone's characters spring from some part of themselves, so their words bear repeating here. Straight from the horse's mouth, then: ten male writers on what they look for in a female mate, below. Just be warned—the results may make you think twice about wanting to date a literary man.