Your “Dammit, What Was I Thinking?” Monday Night Football Evening Open Thread

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

They weren’t sure if anything was wrong until the doctor asked where he was and Cutty replied, “at your office, to get my kids vaccinated”.

Might as well just give the Pats the division at this point.

The rumours are coming down, via Sporting News, that the upcoming ESPN layoffs could add up to between 80-100 people.

“ESPN is dealing with three simple math problems. They have fewer subscribers than they planned for. They have higher costs than they planned for. They lower ratings than they hoped for,” said one source.

Only coming out now because of the court date last week, injured Packers RB Aaron Jones was stopped on October 1 for a litany of charges.

According to records obtained by ESPN, operating a vehicle with a controlled substance in his system, speeding (24 mph over the posted speed limit of 55) and operating a vehicle without a valid license.

It was adjacent to the new stadium, also has a roof that didn’t open, and has Donald Trump wondering why the building to the south of it in this picture wasn’t also taken down as “collateral damage”.

#FAKENEWS

Didja miss me?

Before you shatter my ego, let me just say this. I was supposed to be away two weeks because of:

Vacation; and really just my wife’s need to take a trip to keep her airline status; and

Because I was supposed to be away this week due to another colonoscopy.

But, after the trip got wrapped up, the procedure was cancelled late last week. So, I asked the DFO executrixes if I could resume my duties until I’m rebooked & have to go back into the hospital. They gave me a resounding “ehh…sure?”, so here I am.

There will be a “Boots on the Ground” from the trip, hopefully tomorrow. I’ve been rebooked for December 8th, so I’ll be here up until the 6th. Mazel Tov!

Game preview: Falcons at Seahawks

Had everything gone right with my procedure, I would have had today & tomorrow off “sick” so I could have attended this game in person. However, given the crappy weather & snow above 1500 feet, I’m actually glad I’m not driving south today to go watch this thing.

I guess it’s good they imploded the Georgia Dome while Atlanta is in Seattle, so Pete Carroll can forgo any defensive game planning to instead grill Arthur Blank & Dan Quinn about who else was involved in bringing down the dome.

The point spread is still three points & favours the Seahawks, but that seems kind of flexible. The Hawks are down to backups & recent signees at most of the defensive positions, and still have no running game to speak of. There’s going to be more Legion of Boom members in streets on the sidelines than playing in the game. Dwight Freeney might’ve preferred to have stayed retired. Seattle’s game preview on their website reads like a cult leader trying to deny anything’s wrong. If the Charmslinger survives the game upright, that might be the sole victory Pete Carroll takes from the contest.

Meanwhile, the Atlanta defense is coming off beating the Cowboys hard; it’s never good when the broadcast compares the number of sacks Dak takes to rookie Troy Aikman, although I’m sure he’s glad for the refresher since he doesn’t remember that year. The Falcons offense is alright at best, and Julio Jones should be able to exploit whatever converted lacrosse players the Seahawks will have playing safety. If the Falcons O-line can keep Matt Ryan from being beat into becoming the checkdown-king, he should get over 300 yards. The key tonight will be Devonta Freeman; if he has over 30 yards by the end of the first quarter, it’s going to be a long night for the 12s because having to focus on stopping the run will expose Seattle’s zone defence to Atlanta’s air attack.

I’ve got pulled pork marinating in the fridge, which is going into the oven the second I get home from school, so I predict the only true winner tonight will be my taste buds.

Tonight’s sports:

Monday Night Football:

Atlanta Falcons at Seattle Seahawks – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN

NHL:

Columbus at Buffalo – 7:00PM | Sportsnet

Ducks at Sharks – 10:30PM | Sportsnet

NBA:

Thunder at Pelicans – 8:00PM | TSN2

NCAA:

Men’s Basketball:

Texas A&M at Oklahoma State – 7:00PM | ESPN2

Hampton at Xavier – 8:30PM | FS1

Baylor at Wisconsin – 9:30PM | ESPN2

Michigan at LSU – 11:00PM | ESPNU

U*NC at Stanford – 11:30PM | ESPN2

WWE:

Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

the post-Survivor Series show – getting things set up for the Rumble

It’s good to be back in the saddle. AT LEAST I CAN STILL SIT! FOR NOW!!

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

I don’t really care for Starbucks over roasted coffee, but I’m going to frequent them through January anyway.

You Must Be Logged In To Vote0You Must Be Logged In To Vote

November 20, 2017 11:10 pm

Unsurprised

I do work there since their cold brew is decent, I get free refills, and it’s 500 feet from my front door. So you can always just put money on my card or something.

You Must Be Logged In To Vote1You Must Be Logged In To Vote

November 20, 2017 11:13 pm

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I need to stock up on the Gay Agenda cups.

You Must Be Logged In To Vote1You Must Be Logged In To Vote

November 20, 2017 11:18 pm

Unsurprised

Buddy can probably get you some directly from the Gay Factory.

You Must Be Logged In To Vote1You Must Be Logged In To Vote

November 20, 2017 11:20 pm

Unsurprised

If it’s not this shit, it’s some assholes trying to exploit their hiring of thousands of refugees (ignoring that those jobs are in overseas locations, not that it really matters anyway) or their veteran-hiring initiative or some other shit.

At least the veteran thing blew up in those guys’ faces spectacularly when they did a Reddit AMA and got called on their bullshit such that they ran off like the runny turds they are.

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