A spy tells us the human dolphin recently had the windows of his Baltimore house tinted to prevent paparazzi from snapping shots of him at home. According to our source, Phelps has also been “hiding out at strip clubs,” since they’re the only places he can party with no pictures being taken.

I almost want to get married right now just to use that as an excuse to go to the nudie bar. “Gotta run out, babe. Damn paparazzi are dogging me. – – Got any ones?”