Life. Liberty. Pursuit of Our Next Beer.

Direct Transcript of the Melo-Phil Conversation

(Tuesday morning, Melo walks into Phil’s zen garden where Jackson is meditating wearing a floral robe and has four geisha’s around humming harmoniously as he sits Indian style like a jackass)

Melo: Hey what’s up Phil?

Phil: I’m glad you came, have a seat.

(Melo awkwardly sits on the dirt)

Phil: Melo, do you want to be in New York?

Melo: Phil, yes, goddamnit. I’ve said it like a million times.

Phil: But do you want to be in New York?

Melo: Phil, I don’t understand what the fuck you’re talking about…

Phil: Melo, do you want to be inside New York?

Melo: (looks around) Alright, what the fuck is going on right now?

Phil: Let me show you want I mean.

(Phil disrobes)

Melo: Phil, Jesus man… I’m out. I can’t handle this.

Phil: I knew you couldn’t handle my ways… I was inside Michael, I was inside Kobe, but you clearly don’t want me inside you.

Melo: You are 100% right, I’m out. Peace you old shit.

Alright, so I had to pay top dollar to acquire this transcript. But that what’s you get when you pay for quality. That is the EXACT way it went down yesterday. Don’t listen to the liberal media if it tells you any different.

Personally, I don’t think we need to blow this all up just yet. Tell me this isn’t a great “wake up call” to Melo and the Knicks that we’re currently doing so poorly that our president is threatening to trade Melo.

Let’s let this ride for a couple more weeks and see if we can’t hit .500. I bet we can and if not, maybe we trade Melo for some draft picks and give Phil #7.