Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

What should I do?

I have a friend who was living with her boyfriend. Something really serious went down between them and she felt she should get her own place, so she did. They have a 1 yr old together and she is pregnant with a 2nd that they planned. Well she didnt have any furniture and really had no money to buy any because she makes min. wage. I make pretty good money, but I was in the process of relocating and my things were in storage so I told her she could buy my living room furniture and just pay me whenever. I came to her house to visit and she has so much of my things. My kitchen stuff, a night stand, my $100 comforter set, rugs, towels and washclothes. Im a little shocked because Im supposed to be moving into a new apt and I dont wanna ask for my things back, but gosh. Im a single mom too, I just happened to make alot more? What should I do? I never meant for her to take most of my things.

You should have went with her or had someone you trust go with her, ok she makes minimum wage and PLANNED this baby?!!!! What does the dad do?

Answer by
Anonymous
at 12:01 AM on May. 28, 2010

Let me add that, I would just kind of joke around and say, Girl, i didnt say you can take my whole apt! And then immediately after say, Im getting ready to move too, dont you think I need my stuff?

Answer by
Anonymous
at 12:02 AM on May. 28, 2010

Well I didnt go with her because I wasnt in the state at the time. I had relocated for a few months and I just got back. They planned the baby but its a really long story and right now they are not seeing eye to eye, so he isnt being there like he should and like he was with the first. He is a manager somewhere and owns his own home, but Im just thinking when I move Im gonna have to replace all the stuff that she has taken. I have expensive taste.

first you have to figure out if you want personal things back such as bed linens. if you do then you have to be point blank and tell her your intention was just the living room furniture, she either misunderstood or took advantage once you figure out which one that will tell you what to do. good luck

Answer by
Anonymous
at 12:04 AM on May. 28, 2010

Thats what I was thinking. I joked around and said, when I move Im taking my stuff and she said, "Im not listening to you because I know you arent that type of person".
I have a plan to pack up some of my things. The expensive things and replace them in her house with cheaper things. Like my dining room table plates. Those are for decoration only, not to eat off.
She can have the pots and pans and canisters. The towels and washclothes can be replaced but my comforter set, I want. She said if she had known it cost so much she wouldnt have taken it, but Im like Ii didnt tell you how muched it cost because you were only supposed to get the sofa and love seat.
But I seriously want my stainless steel microwave and my digital toaster, that was a gift from someone.

Girl you are too nice! And yes there is such a thing, either you are too nice or you let people run over you, you be the judge! You are going to have to say, i KNOW im not that type of person, but we had a misunderstanding and I need to get my things, i AM willing to let you keep SOME of the things, but not all.

@ Camtri3, Im def not a push over. I havent said anything because I know she wouldnt have taken the stuff if she didnt really need it. Im a masters certified teacher so I do make pretty decent money. She used to be my asst, so I know how much she makes and I think I just kind of feel bad. She has a 1 yr old and a baby on the way. With what she makes there is no way she is going to be able to furnish her home. She is in school but hasnt finished yet.
I think I wouldnt be in such a shock if she would have atleast asked or told me, hey Im gonna borrow some of your things and then I would have told her what she could have and what she couldnt. But my comforter set, I think Im hurt over that. I really loved that comforter and I got it on sale for $120. LOL.

@ admckenzie. I think thats what I will do. I recently went thru a really really bad break up with my daughters dad, which is why i temporarily relocated. Im starting fresh with a new life and new attitude, so I guess purchasing new furniture and things wont be so bad either.

I definitely would say something about the things you REALLY want back. Charity and help is one thing, but there are certain things you are attached to and you MAY eventually resent her for having them. It kind of sounds like she might have taken advantage because she came back with "you aren't that type of person". If you feel compelled to replace some of the stuff for her, by all means that is your decision. But if there are certain things you truly want, then get them back.