Venue Horror: When The Venue You Picked and Paid Lost Its Sparkle

I have seen a post regarding a bride beginning to hate their wedding venue – well – I just wanted to let her know that she is not alone. For I, too, am currently feeling the same way.. It is quite a shame because months prior I was planning everything for it – from the decor to where everyone will stand. Now it has gotten to the point where I can’t stand it…from location to how I am treated (and no darlings – there’s isn’t a bridezilla bone in this girl’s body – I will clarify later). I have became so fretful that sometimes I end up crying over it pointing out – “how on earth am I supposed to smile in wedding dress in an area that makes me cry tears of disgust?” It just does.

Pros and Cons:

Pros –

The entire style of it being a historic romantic getaway and very private.

Has an indoor space for dancing and dinner. Outdoor patio for cocktail hour. The historic home to share the vows with your loved one.

Cons

Location brutally blows. Most vendors won’t go to the location because it is out of their radius. There goes my photographer, videographer, DJ, servers, and the musicians that I always dreamt of hiring. Most family will travel and I fear that the city of Brooksville will make them think: “Oh god – she’s having a wedding out here in this rustic area?”

Anytime I plan to meet up with them it is never a set in stone deal – like for example – I have seen them set up tables for other couples in their colors/designs to give them ideas and literally plan the tablescapes with them then reserve the style for their wedding – everytime I am over there it is only chitchat and nothing has been set – in the end I walk out not able to set anything up. I contact them via calling – text – to catch up to terms of what I plan for our wedding – no response. I understand there are other weddings to plan but I am also a bride and due to this I feel like cancelling the contract (and I only have 6 months to plan a wedding!!)

As I stated earlier, I am pretty close to cancelling the contract and just having to find another venue that will take us or cancel the wedding altogether. Oh darling Bees, I don’t know what to do anymore. 🙁

I didn’t check out their website much, but looked at some photos–so beautiful! Does the venue have any preferred vendors they can share with you? If they have weddings there on the regular there must be vendors that will go to that location.

Perhaps if meetings aren’t going as you plan, maybe you can take the reigns a little more? Come with a list (mental or written) of things you want accomplished at the meeting. Don’t be afraid to speak up to keep things on track “So, back to x, how are we going to handle that?”

I understand how frustrating it can be to have them not get back to you–it’s funny how before you put the deposit down they immediately get back to you, then not so much once they get their cash. I’m going through that with my venue as well. I think that’s fairly common though–I see a lot of posts about vendors taking a whiel to respond.

And lastly, please don’t worry about what others will think! It’s abou what you and your FI want..speaking of your FI, what are his thoughts on how things are going with the venue?

Only you and your FI know what’s best for you guys, and go with what you think. But, I would think six months is plenty of time, I have a little over 6 months left and haven’t needed to contact my venue for much at all. Try to remember why you fell in love with this place too, when things start to get frustrating it’s so easy to only see the negatives and forget the positves that drew you to it in the first place.

Best of luck! Hopefully some others on here will have better advice : )

kayteegeee: If you haven’t already, I would send a brief but concise and well thought out text response letting them know of your concerns, (it seems odd that the vendors you wanted won’t go there?-would you have to pay additional travel fees for them, or is it in a bad area? Perhaps ask who they recommend?) and request a meeting to specifically choose colors/designs/tablescapes or to at least find out what the timeline prior to the wedding they choose to meet for planning tablescapes. (You can always get ideas for colors/designs/tablescapes here from WB’ers as well.)

kayteegeee: Is your wedding really in 2018 as it says in your profile? I can understand not putting the correct date here on WeddingBee, but if the wedding really is in 2018, I’m not a bit surprised that the venue is not getting back to you.

kayteegeee: I think it is unfair to hold vendors not wanting to travel to your event location against the actual venue. It is not their fault that the vendors you specifically want to use wont travel there. This is something you should have checked on before bookiNg this venue. I agree with a pp, ask the venue for a list of preferred vendors.

When is your actual wedding? Because if it is too far away then I can see why a venue wont do what you are asking currently. They would be focussed on upcoming weddings. If you wedding is over a year away they probably can’t guarantee specific linens etc.

Also, even when I offered to pay the travel fee to the available vendors – they suddenly changed their replies to “oh sorry it is outside our radius” quote/unquote. It was like why offer a travel fee if you won’t travel?

The vendors that are listed are unavailable for my wedding and the wedding planner (owner of the venue site) doesn’t want to quite work with me. I feel like I am stuck. :-/

Sorry, I don’t see anything wrong with it. You are certainly welcome to find a new venue, though. Your cons are you don’t like the location and you can’t meet with them to go over every little detail. The location is something you knew prior to booking so if it was so horrible I wouldn’t have booked. I never had to meet with my venue to go over seating and layouts six months before the wedding so I can see why they haven’t. Why do you need to contact them so much and there’s 6 months left? I guess I just don’t get it….

Have you booked your caterer and other vendors? With six months to go, you may not be able to get your first choice vendors even if you switch venues at this point. Have you already sent STDs with the location? If you have set everything up, keep it! If you have only booked your venue, I guess it could still be worth taking the time to search for something else.

People won’t mind staying in the country for your wedding as long as they can find accommodations at a reasonable price.

kayteegeee: I don’t mean this as harsh as it may sound, but why did you book this venue if none of your vendors would work there? Did you book it first and then seek out the vendors? Because if so, try to remember why you fell in love with it the first time.

However, if you can’t seem to get any response from anyone who works there and you still don’t have any of your other vendors selected, I don’t see why you can’t just take the loss and search elsewhere. The venue looks stunning, but if no one will work with you and you can’t seem to get anything done, then it really doesn’t seem feasible to have a wedding there, does it?

I’m getting married in Feb. We haven’t had any of our final meetings yet. It’s just been preliminary meetings with every vendor. We actually start our final meetings next month (early at that! Because they want them done before the Christmas season.) So nothing has been ‘set up’ at this point – we’re too far out. We’ve talked about insipiration photos, colours, packages, what we want, etc. But the nitty gritty details haven’t been sorted. So – they know what courses and bar package we want, but the actual menu (seasonal) hasn’t been selected, signature drinks are still up in the air (we’re not 100% sure we want to do them), etc.

We’re handling all our centrepieces and what not ourselves, so we are 100% in charge of that. And I haven’t even finalized that yet. And I’m the one doing it!

If you’re really unhappy about this, talk to them. But if they are busy during the Christmas season it’s unlikely they’ll want to deal with a wedding that’s 4 months later in the middle of the Christmas rush.

If this doesn’t suit, then cancel and find another venue. 6 months is still enough time to plan a wedding if you’re organized. Though like a PP mentioned, if that’s a busy month for weddings you may not get your first choice vendors at this point.

kayteegeee: our wedding is March 7th. We’ve not had any meetings with our venue so far apart from the original one where we went to look at it. I’ve emailed maybe twice with very specific questions but that’s it. I’ve arranged a meeting with them for mid November and am preparing a list of things I want to ask about but I’m expecting most stuff to happen after Christmas. Maybe you’re expecting too much too early. They must be very busy and I’d imagine that they get a lot of brides changing their minds about details so won’t want to go over them too early.

kayteegeee: I think it looks lovely. You’re still 6 months out so I don’t think it’s weird that the venue hasn’t gone over tablescapes with you yet. With regards to it being in the country – As long as there are places for people to stay, so they don’t have to drive back after drinking I don’t think anyone will think bad on you having it in Brooksville. If anyone is being snoody, I think they’ll understand why you picked it once they see it. I don’t know what to say about vendors 🙁 I’m really suprised you’re having trouble with them. Our wedding was a good hours drive from Pittsburgh and it didn’t stop any of our vendors from coming – we did have to pay a little extra for travel though. We had our engagement photos with Jimmy Ho (he’s based out of Gainesville. http://www.jimmyhophotography.com/blog/recent/) And I know he’ll travel for weddings. I’ve seen him shoot weddings as far as Amelia Island and Miami.

My belief is that I have been rushed to get a venue when I already had my heart set elsewhere. My mom was in love with this venue and I wasn’t fully satisfied. So basically I lost 500 only to her liking and not to mine or my FI.

My FI and I had our hearts set for St. Augustine, FL. We absolutely love it there but now I feel super duper stuck and hate it.

I feel like the only way is to cancel the wedding. I have sent the STDs without location and now I feel like crap.