blahpers:Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??

From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.

Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores

Oldiron_79:blahpers: Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??

From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.

Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores

If your foreskin has been removed you will not get cancer of the penis

Memo to murikans: Eventually, you HAVE to die. So, more bearded clam for me! I already know what's killing me (diagnosed 19 years ago) so I don't give a flying four-engined double-decker fark about the rest.

Trance354:good thing the current farkbuddy doesn't read much. More concerned with farking than anything else. She's a monster in bed. Anything and everything. Why don't I marry her, you ask? That's all we have. The sex. post-coitus, she tends to fall asleep. She gives me blank stares when I ask about her work(retail), and more when I talk about classes(engineering). I can see her brain glazing over when I start in on some of the more interesting subjects. Conversation isn't the strong point; usually it is something along the lines of, "come fark me, now." And I do.

My advice: if you like farking her, marry her. OK, make sure you can have a conversation about raising kids and make sure you're on the same wavelength, but beyond that, marry for sex.

My wife hates the opera, doesn't like coffee, doesn't like extreme asian cinema, or red wine. I go to nerd conferences that go right over her head. And you know what, none of it matters. Because I realised that of all the girlfriends I had, she was the one I had the very best sex with.

Because here's the thing: it's absolutely fine in a marriage to go and watch cinema with someone other than my wife, or to drink red wine with someone other than my wife, or to go to a nerd conference with someone other than my wife.

There's one thing that you're not allowed to do with someone other than your wife, and that's farking. So, find someone you really like farking, someone you think you're going to be farking for the rest of your life and marry them.

farkeruk:Trance354: good thing the current farkbuddy doesn't read much. More concerned with farking than anything else. She's a monster in bed. Anything and everything. Why don't I marry her, you ask? That's all we have. The sex. post-coitus, she tends to fall asleep. She gives me blank stares when I ask about her work(retail), and more when I talk about classes(engineering). I can see her brain glazing over when I start in on some of the more interesting subjects. Conversation isn't the strong point; usually it is something along the lines of, "come fark me, now." And I do.

My advice: if you like farking her, marry her. OK, make sure you can have a conversation about raising kids and make sure you're on the same wavelength, but beyond that, marry for sex.

My wife hates the opera, doesn't like coffee, doesn't like extreme asian cinema, or red wine. I go to nerd conferences that go right over her head. And you know what, none of it matters. Because I realised that of all the girlfriends I had, she was the one I had the very best sex with.

Because here's the thing: it's absolutely fine in a marriage to go and watch cinema with someone other than my wife, or to drink red wine with someone other than my wife, or to go to a nerd conference with someone other than my wife.

There's one thing that you're not allowed to do with someone other than your wife, and that's farking. So, find someone you really like farking, someone you think you're going to be farking for the rest of your life and marry them.

Or do what I did and marry the first gal you farked. I don't regret it.

Mid_mo_mad_man:Oldiron_79: blahpers: Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??

From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.

Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores

If your foreskin has been removed you will not get cancer of the penis

Don't be irresponsible. Circumcision has been linked to reduced cancer rate. It does not immunize you.

Rustico:I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

So did you retire completely or did you dive right back in?/glad it didn't kill you buddy!

MagSeven:Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

I will never understand why this isnt a mandatory vaccine, prevents cancer nuff said give it to everyone right now and as far as I know there are no negative side effects if someone is already infected so about about we try to eradicate something reason I hate politics and health care

WillofJ2:MagSeven: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

I will never understand why this isnt a mandatory vaccine, prevents cancer nuff said give it to everyone right now and as far as I know there are no negative side effects if someone is already infected so about about we try to eradicate something reason I hate politics and health care

Agreed completely. When/If I ever have kids, they'll get it for sure. I'm pissed I'm too old to get it myself (31). Can never be too careful.

blahpers:Mid_mo_mad_man: Oldiron_79: blahpers: Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??

From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.

Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores

If your foreskin has been removed you will not get cancer of the penis

Don't be irresponsible. Circumcision has been linked to reduced cancer rate. It does not immunize you.

In no way was I saying not to get the vaccine. I was just say in men that had circumcisions cancer of the penis is almost unheard of.

hardinparamedic:Mid_mo_mad_man:In no way was I saying not to get the vaccine. I was just say in men that had circumcisions cancer of the penis is almost unheard of.

It's not unheard of, it's just rare. However, it tends to be more aggressive as well, and that is just for circumcision in childhood, with adult males having a HIGHER rate of invasive penile cancer after circumcision as an adult.

Most people would assume its rare if you said its almost unheard of. Btw who's geting thier foreskin removed as an adult

Rustico:I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

This is why I had to change my name a few years ago. My then-GF kept reading my posts and didn't seem to 'get' Fark's unique (and very dark) sense of humor. So every other day I'd be asked something like, "So, you think being raped by a golden retriever is funny?" And I'm all, "Well, kinda, yeah." Then I'd have to explain that it's just the internet and that in real life I actually have manners and restraint.

"I'm not sure I like you hanging out at that site. Those people are awful."

Then she told her dad something like, "You should read his comments about politics. He makes some good observations" This was followed by being accused of being a communist. The moral of the story is to never share your Fark login with anyone.

/previous user name wasn't as sophomoric as this one, which began as a joke but I'm now too invested in it to change to something that doesn't sound as if I'm 12 years old.

This is why I had to change my name a few years ago. My then-GF kept reading my posts and didn't seem to 'get' Fark's unique (and very dark) sense of humor. So every other day I'd be asked something like, "So, you think being raped by a golden retriever is funny?" And I'm all, "Well, kinda, yeah." Then I'd have to explain that it's just the internet and that in real life I actually have manners and restraint.

"I'm not sure I like you hanging out at that site. Those people are awful."

Then she told her dad something like, "You should read his comments about politics. He makes some good observations" This was followed by being accused of being a communist. The moral of the story is to never share your Fark login with anyone.

/previous user name wasn't as sophomoric as this one, which began as a joke but I'm now too invested in it to change to something that doesn't sound as if I'm 12 years old.

I always thought your name was dick freckle. Huh. Learn something new every day.

Rik01:Let me think here for a moment. [...]The list of cancer causing substances and actions has jumped from a few dozen in the 50's, to several hundred thousand in the 2000's.

Then again, anyone happen to notice that as the global population increases, so does the amount of things which cause cancer. Is nature trying to tell us something?

I believe this is not a factor of population per se, but of the advances of science and our understanding of cancers.

Now there might be something said for the spread of some cancers increasing with social globalization of the population ( with increased opportunity for transmission ) , and our continued industrialization ( pollution, advanced chemical/biological use, etc) , but that is not related to shear population.

This isn't news. I remember reading a story like this 6 years ago. In fact, I wrote a joke about it and told it on stage my first time up. It got my biggest response.

I only did stand up 4 times... wasn't that good, but other comedians liked my oral sex throat cancer bit.

/If oral sex caused throat cancer, throat cancer would be the number 1 killer IN THE WORLD. Half of you would be on hospice right now. If oral sex caused throat cancer, Vatican City would be a ghost town. etc etc

I tried to ask this girl I've been seeing recently if she's had Guardasil, and she got all grossed out and jittery and I think mumbled yes before changing the subject. For some reason people don't like having a calm, mature discussion about these things. I'm hoping to find an opportunity to bring it up again.

Tommy Moo:I tried to ask this girl I've been seeing recently if she's had Guardasil, and she got all grossed out and jittery and I think mumbled yes before changing the subject. For some reason people don't like having a calm, mature discussion about these things. I'm hoping to find an opportunity to bring it up again.

Theory Of Null:Sorry to hear. I'm curious, how did you discover something was wrong and where at on the base of the tongue?what did it feel like at first? Was there other sores or some other type of symptoms in your case?

Headaches were the first thing. Lymph nodes swelled. Like when you get a cold, but HUGE and they didn't go back down. The left side of my neck looked like I had a golfball under my skin.

The cells on the base of tongue were very hard to spot. The day the surgeons were going to take out my tonsils, the found the primary tumor and cut that off instead. Having things cut out of your mouth hurts, and this was just a small piece of my tongue.

Dying from too much cunnilingus is still a more dignified way to go out than something like death by too much junk food.

Damn straight.

Are there any hot Fakettes in Lexington KY who'd like to try to kill me soon?

By the way, TFA says "hepatitis B causes liver cancer." However according to Wikipedia "Hepatitis C is the primary cause of liver cancer."

Which reminds me, it's about time to get checked for Hep C again just in case. Those who drink like I do or worse should be careful of our livers. I'm very wary of acetaminophen too. And don't mix booze with Tylenol! Liver failure sounds like a horrible way to go: I'd rather just "lay my head on the railroad tracks and wait for the Double E."

There's one thing that you're not allowed to do with someone other than your wife, and that's farking. So, find someone you really like farking, someone you think you're going to be farking for the rest of your life and marry them.

I did that when I was 19. Three months later she ditched me for a guy who was twice my age, had 1/3 of my hair and much more money.

Usually I regret not agreeing with the doc's advice to sign her in to the mental ward when she was having her stomach pumped from a suicide attempt; that would have been better for her.

Sometimes I regret not letting her lay there and choke to death on her own puke.

But till then she was tres hot and a LOT of fun in bed. And in the car, in the bushes... Put it this way: on the second date when she told me she had herpes I said basically "So what. It's not fatal. And you're SO DAMN HOT." Not that I tried to catch it, I always used a condom for "PIV" coitus -- but then I did that for birth control anyway Since then I've read that if you already have HSV-1 ("oral" herpes a.k.a. "cold sores"), which I've had since elementary school if not before, you're less likely to catch HSV-2 (the "genital" kind) and if you do it'll be much less severe.

She'd said nothing about warts but I'd've said the same thing about that.

But wouldn't you know it, the only things she ever gave me was a cold, a broken heart, a nervous breakdown and a divorce. Lucky me, huh?

Rustico:<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7739985/84078321#c84078321" target="_blank">Theory Of Null</a>:</b> <i>Sorry to hear. I'm curious, how did you discover something was wrong and where at on the base of the tongue?what did it feel like at first? Was there other sores or some other type of symptoms in your case?</i>

Headaches were the first thing. Lymph nodes swelled. Like when you get a cold, but HUGE and they didn't go back down. The left side of my neck looked like I had a golfball under my skin.

The cells on the base of tongue were very hard to spot. The day the surgeons were going to take out my tonsils, the found the primary tumor and cut that off instead. Having things cut out of your mouth hurts, and this was just a small piece of my tongue.

Thanks for replying. I've had a weird ass feeling in my throat for a few years (no noticeable swelling though), but every time I go get checked out they say everything is ok and just subscribe me antibiotics and painkillers. I'm glad you're ok now. Cancer is some scary shiat.

dickfreckle:The moral of the story is to never share your Fark login with anyone.

Lordfortuna asked me one day what my user name is and I told him the first name that came to mind (obviously not mine). Fortunately he respects my privacy and doesn't go on my computers... I'd know if he had because there's no way he could keep his mouth shut if he did read some of my posts here.

Rik01:Teflon was supposed to be neutral, great for all sorts of things -- now cooking in Teflon pans can cause cancer. To make things even more fun, wear away the Teflon and you cook over aluminum alloy, which is now linked with Alzheimer's.

Do you have a citation for that? A cursory search (ignoring inflammatory news articles) seems to refute that. This WebMD article cites an EPA study that says there isn't a link between teflon and cancer: http://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/teflon-pans