Sorry this post is going to be short and sweet, I just wanted to wish all my readers a blessed Eid. May Alllah (SWT) accept our efforts of this blessed month, and may he pardon us and save us from the Hellfire. And may he grant us victory soon.

Make the most of today (although the day is almost over in London town! :P) enjoy, spend it with your family and eat loads of samosas! After all, we all know Eid is meant for putting all on all the weight we supposedly ‘lost’ during Ramadan 😛

So what do you guys eat on Eid day?

My inner freshy absolutely LOVES this nasheed, so I think you should all be exposed (this is not the word I want to use, but right now I can’t think of the right word) to it too:

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All of that up there was written on Eid day (Thursday 8th August) but obviously, I failed to finish it and post it up 😛 The last couple of days have been pretty hectic with familiy commitments, and the such. I actually just came back from a wedding! The first of SIX that I will be attending – all in the month of August! :O I guess you could say August is wedding season? 😛

Just wanted to let everyone reading that even though Ramadan is over, I’m not going to stop blogging, I will continue to. I’m not sure what I’m going to blog about yet, just be sure that it will be very rambly 😛 I said I would do a post on my trip to South Africa, and I may do some posts on different things I bake, so look out for those 🙂

I probably should have mentioned beforehand that as we got into the last 10 days of Ramadan posts would be sparse. I’m sorry for that, but I just haven’t found the time, what with laylatul Qadr, and just generally trying to get as much done as possible before Ramadan ends. And by that I don’t mean Eid shopping – because seriously who still does that? Unless you count me buying stuff for my younger brother, because that’s the only Eid shopping I’ve been doing to be honest. What I mean is trying to get as much Ibadaah and and reading Qur’aan done before Ramadan leaves us.

Also, for the past 3 nights I’ve been going to East London Mosque to pray taraweeh! 😀 Now me and my mum went every day of Ramadan for 2 years (1430/31) but last year we couldn’t go as it was late, plus I was working at the Olympics. This year the issue of time and how late taraweeh was hindered us from going again. And honestly it sucked not being able to go. Once you go to pray taraweeh at the mosque in jamaah once, you don’t want to stop going. But anyway, Alhamdulillah the days have gotten slightly shorter since the beginning of Ramadan, and me and my mum have managed to go! 😀 (My brothers go with us too of course)

I had actually written half of this post yesterday, but was unable to finish it in time before I left for the mosque, so basically I’m adding to it and posting it today instead.

Now as you know, last night was the 27th night of Ramadan i.e. it could have been Laylatul Qadr. Laylatul Qadr can be on any of the odd nights, however people put high emphasis on it to be most likely on the 27th night. I’ve read up on how true this notion is, and all I’ve managed to come up with is ‘many scholars have agreed that the 27th night of Ramadan was Laylatul Qadr’ However I have yet to find a reason why scholars thinks this. If someone can give me a reason behind the emphasis on the 27th night it would be greatly appreciated 🙂 I did however find two hadiths:

Narrated ‘Aisha(ra): Allah’s Apostle (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, “Search for the Night of Qadr in the odd nights of the last ten days of Ramadan.” [Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 32:234]

Narrated ‘Ubada bin As-Samit(ra): The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) came out to inform us about the Night of Qadr but two Muslims were quarreling with each other. So, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, “I came out to inform you about the Night of Qadr but such-and-such persons were quarreling, so the news about it had been taken away; yet that might be for your own good, so search for it on the 29th, 27th and 25th (of Ramadan). [Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 32:240]

Tomorrow night is the 29th night of Ramadan, i.e. the last possible night it could be Ramadan, so make the most of it InSha’Allah! There is a surah in the Qur’aan called Surah Qadr:

Verily! We have sent it (this Qur’an) down in the night of Al-Qadr (Decree)

And what will make you know what the night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is?

The night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is better than a thousand months (i.e. worshipping Allah in that night is better than worshipping Him a thousand months, i.e. 83 years and 4 months).

Therein descend the angels and the Ruh [Jibrael (Gabriel)] by Allah’s Permission with all Decrees,

Peace! (All that night, there is Peace and Goodness from Allah to His believing slaves) until the appearance of dawn.

Whoever establishes prayers on the night of Qadr out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allahs reward (not to show of) then all his past sins will be forgiven.

[Bukhari Vol 1 Book 2:34]

I’m currently going through a really difficult situation at the moment, which is another reason behind the lack of posts. If you could all keep me in your duas it would be greatly appreciated. All I can say is that I don’t understand how people can be heartless during Ramadan. How can you hurt your fellow Muslim brother/sister in such ways in this blessed month. This month is meant to be a month of change. If you can’t stop you hurtful, deceitful ways during Ramadan, when can you? Ramadan is a time for asking for forgiveness and from Allah, for Allah says in the Qur’aan:

And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous

Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good;

And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins – and who can forgive sins except Allah ? – and [who] do not persist in what they have done while they know.

Those – their reward is forgiveness from their Lord and gardens beneath which rivers flow [in Paradise], wherein they will abide eternally; and excellent is the reward of the [righteous] workers.

– Surah Al’Imran [3:133-136]

And here also:

And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give [aid] to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause of Allah , and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

– Surah An-Nur [24:22]

No one said forgiveness is easy. I can honestly say I am finding it extremely difficult to forgive right now. But Allah loves those who forgive, so who am I to not do what Allah loves?

That is all for today, just please keep me and my family in your duas. I will try tp post tomorrow, but as I said its the last possible Laylatul Qadr night, so we shall see what happens.

You know when someones in a position of power that they feel they can make anyone do anything that they want to do? To the point where they don’t care that what they are asking you to do is illegal and potentially dangerous? They just expect you to do it. Well I’m sorry, but I’m not that type of person who is up for doing that, nothing is important enough to resort to illegal and dangerous means in order to accomplish it. If you want something done but you can’t do it without resorting to illegal and dangerous means, then you shouldn’t be doing it. And if you still want it done, do it your bloody self. Don’t expect other people to do your dirty work for you. Oh and resorting to going to another person telling them that such and such person didn’t do what you asked them to do? Seriously, if you have a problem with me not doing something come talk to me yourself, don’t go telling other people. That’s not helping your situation at all. ¬_¬

Basically I’m annoyed as hell. And the heat has gotten to me again, I could barely keep my head up all day. And I missed yesterdays post, I’m sorry. It was possibly Laylatul-Qadr last night, I’m sure y’all understand.

For me, one of the most beautiful sounds in the world is the call to prayer, the Adhaan. I don’t know what it is exactly, maybe its because this Ramadan I’ve been staying up until after Fajr, but the Fajr adhaan warms my heart the most. This one line that is only said at Fajr time is what does it for me:

I think I am right in saying that out of the 5 daily prayers, Fajr is most likely the one we are most likely to miss. Why? Because we find it too difficult to wake up from our death-like slumbers to remember our Lord. Subhan’Allah, if only we knew the benefits of praying Fajr, we would surely not miss it.

Indeed, The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) has said:

“Whoever performs the Prayer before the rising of the sun [Fajr] and before its setting [‘Asr], will not enter the Hell.” [Muslim]

and

“Whoever prays the two cooler prayer times (i.e., Fajr and `Asr) will enter Paradise.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Ibn ‘Allan comments on that Fajr and ‘Asr were specified since they are two times when one can easily miss the prayer: whether they are lost in sleep during Fajr, or engrossed in trade and work at ‘Asr. It is understood that the one who prays these two, usually prays all five daily prayers.

Finally, the reward mentioned in the hadith indicates that the one who regularly prays Fajr and ‘Asr can be expected to have a good ending to their life: that they die upon faith as a Muslim. Which of us would not be eager to rise for the Fajr prayer if we truly understood the benefits: a death on faith and eternal success? [Ibn ‘Allan, Dalil al-Faliheen]

InSha’Allah even after Ramadan end we all maintain the habit of waking up for Fajr. May Allah make it easy for us.

If you would like to see a post in general on salaah and its benefits and such, do let me know please 🙂

If anyone knows how to deal with a boss who is constantly looking over your shoulder at everything you do, to the point where there’s no point in you doing your job because they’re practically telling you want to do instead – and has any tips, please let me know! Because I am honestly going crazy.

In other news: in the 21 days of Ramadan that have past, I have made banana loaf cake on three separate occasions. I think its becoming a bit excessive. What do you guys think? Its literally one a week..

You know all day I had a load of things I wanted to write in this post, and now that I’m sitting here typing, nothing comes to mind. Which basically means that this post is going to be even more ramblely then usual..

As you know, Ramadan is a blessed month which we should all take advantage of and try to make the most of. Many Muslims use the month to reevaluate their lives and change themselves, hopefully for the rest of their lives. The thing I notice the most in our society is that we’re so quick to judge each others actions. For example, people would see a sister who normally does not wear hijaab, wearing hijaab in Ramadan. And you hear the comments ‘oh what is she wearing hijaab for, she never wears hijaab, shes just going to take it off after Ramadan’. My answer to this would be: what’s it to you?! Subhan’Allah, no one knows what is in our hearts apart from Allah! So who are we to judge each other? For all we know, that sister may have started wearing the hijaab full time after Ramadan, but after hearing the comments of these girls talking about her, she’d change her mind and take it off! Now would you want that on your conscience? Wouldn’t you rather be the person that praises her for her efforts to wear hijaab, to the extent that with your praise she might make wearing hijaab a full time thing?

When we see our Muslim brothers and sisters doing something they shouldn’t its our duty to advise them that what they are doing is wrong. Because we are all liable for our actions and also what we see. So if we see haraam taking place, we should attempt to stop it. Because for all we know, that brother/sister may have been doing something haraam without knowing! So by you advising them, instead of judging beforehand, you’re stopping them from committing more haraam. And even if they didn’t end up taking your advise, at least you can say you tried and InSha’Allah you’ll be rewarded for it.

Last year most of my Ramadan was spent working 12 hours shifts at the Olympics. It was long and hard, but I’m going to get into that now. Now we had to work in teams, and so in my time at the Olympics, I met a lot of people. Now call me naive but I didn’t realise not fasting in Ramadan was such a casual thing nowadays. In my culture, when women are not fasting in Ramadan they still hide the fact that they are not fasting from the men in their family, as a way of respect and modesty for all. I mean, seriously – no one wants to know when a girl is on her period! (There, I said it, now lets not say anymore on the subject okay). But when I was working at the Olympics, all around me I’d hear people say ‘oh yeah, I didn’t wake up for suhoor today, so I decided not to fast’ or ‘I just couldn’t be bothered to fast today, I heard the food in the canteen was going to be really good’. Now before you say anything, I’m not judging these people, because we are all free to make our own choices. But what I truly could not fathom was how proud they sounded when they made comments like this. Like really? No one thinks you’re a ‘big man’ because you decided not to fast today, more I feel sorry for you because you are missing out of so many rewards. And I said as much to one guy, when he told me he wasn’t fasting. I asked why he wasn’t, with not a lot of emotion in my voice, and he replied ‘because I didn’t want to’. I looked up at him and immediately he said ‘what, why you judging me for, its my choice I don’t want to fast, whatever.’ To which I replied ‘I’m not judging you, I was just asking. It isn’t my place to judge you, you can do what you like, doesn’t effect me.’

And that is what it comes down to. Why does it matter so much to us when others are committing haraam? If it’s not effecting you directly, surely it shouldn’t effect you. You do your best to advise them and leave it at that. You’ve done your bit and your conscience is clean.

On a funnier note, I came across this today:

All I say is LOL. I honestly don’t understand how anyone can take this man seriously when he makes comments like this. By the way – the picture he tweeted was of the ‘halaal’ sign outside a Subway. Oh and to top it off – Tommy Robinson has blocked me on twitter! 😀 Lolol, I think I’ve made it 😛

Okay, we have just finished our 20th fast, I honestly want to cry 😥 Where has the month gone?! 20 blessed days have practically flown by, makes you think how short this life really is.. Subhan’Allah, I hope all the Muslims reading this (because I know not everyone reading this is) have taken full advantage of this month. And if you haven’t, don’t worry – just make the most of the last 10 days – starting from now! And if you’re not Muslim, then I hope this blog has been of some interest for you, an insight into the weird and wonderful life I live 🙂

The last 10 days of Ramadan are for salvation from the Hell fire. So I thought I’d add some dua’s that should be recited during these last 10 days. And Alhamdulillah – I managed to find a copy of the duas’ with the Arabic text! 😀 I’m going to update the other posts with the other duas’ with the Arabic so InSha’Allah that helps you all 🙂

O Allah! I ask You for paradise and whatever words and actions may take me near it. I seek your protection from
the fire and whatever words or actions that may take me near it. I beseech You to make Your decisions for me good.”

(Ahmad Ibn Majah – similar wording in Al-Hakim and Al-Adab Al-Mufrad of Al-Bukhari)

O Allah! I ask for heaven and its bounties and its joy and I seek Your protection from the Fire, its chains and its
shackles.

(Abu Dawud, Ahmad)

InSha’Allah you find these duas’ beneficial 🙂

Alongside the last 10 days being for salvation from Hell Fire, there is also a night amongst these days which is better than a thousand months. Laylatul Qadr – The Night of Power. The night our Glorious Qur’aan was revealed to our beloved Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم). This night was on ONE of the odd nights in Ramadan. EITHER the 21st, 23rd, 25th, 27th or 29th. InSha’Allah I’ll go into the this tomorrow in more detail as today I don’t have time. All I’m saying is that it is our duty to search for this night, as we do not know when it is.

Tonight is a odd night, InSha’Allah I hope everyone makes the most of it.

Until tomorrow InSha’Allah,

Tania’x

– Also I just wanted to make a quick note to say: Sumaiyyah – I love you too<3

And thank you to the person who said they took pleasure in reading my ‘rambles’ 😛 Your message warmed my heart 🙂

Indication as to how badly I procrastinate: Today I turned my laptop on just after 1pm with the intention to start today’s post and get it up hours and hours before iftaar. Did that happen I hear you ask? No. If you’re from the UK, you’d already know that, however I know there’s a few of you from around the globe reading my blog (Say Hi in the comments below – I don’t bite 😉 ) and you guys wouldn’t know that, but yeah, its currently after iftaar.. Quite a while after iftaar actually. 😛

So as I mentioned in last weeks post, my favourite radio show on MCR is Easy Talk. And yesterday evening, as per my usual weekend routine, I was sat listening to the radio show minding my own business. Now yesterdays topic of discussion was the current situation in Egypt, and what Muslims here in the UK think about. The debate was good a varied, but as with all discussions, stupidity surfaces. I think two brothers phoned in to give their opinions on the matter. Their opinion? That the people of Egypt deserve what was happening to them because it was their own fault for trying to bring democracy into the Islamic world, that Islam and democracy do not not mix. Now I’m pretty sure all of my readers reading this right now will be in agreement with me, that such a argument is positively ludicrous!

Maybe its because I’m and International Relations student, I don’t know, but when people make broad, uneducated remarks about things like democracy and power – it bugs me. So I decided to make my point and tweeted into the show saying:

Little did I know, this tweet would spark off the beginning of a longgggg night of twitter wars…..

Now twitter is a place to express yourself, your views and feelings on certain issues, have a debate or two, that’s all well and good. But when the opposition of your debate is a EDL troll, things can get quite tedious and frustrating.

Again, if you’re in the UK, you’ll most likely have heard of who the EDL are, but for my global readers: basically the EDL is a racist group of thugs who hate Muslims and want us out of Britain. The wikipedia definition of the EDL: The English Defence League (EDL) is a far-right street protest movement which opposes what it considers to be a spread of Islamism, Sharia law and Islamic extremism in the United Kingdom.

Getting back to my point, so there I was minding my own business, tweeting my thoughts, when BOOM all of a sudden I start getting an onslaught of tweets from these EDL trolls going on about how if Muslims knew what democracy was we wouldn’t be in the situation we are currently in. (This is me putting their words nicely by the way, the language used by these idiots is vile) So of course I’m going to defend my religion, and I did. And I know sometimes when in a twitter war, you feel the need the fight fire with fire, but even though these individuals were downright offensive, I’m proud to say I didn’t stoop to their level, not once was I rude or swear at them. (I actually hate swearing – on the extremely rare occasion a curse word slips out, my friends say it sounds really weird lol) Instead I tried to educate them, although I doubt I got very far unfortunately.

The arguments ranged from the Qur’aan having flaws (however when I asked them to point out some ‘flaws’ they were unable to produce any) to Female Genital Mutilation. I’m not going to go in depth into the arguments though, coz honestly I’d be here all night if I did. But one thing that stood out was the fact that these peopledon’t seem to understand the difference between Religion and Culture.

What I don’t understand is why matters such as if a rape gang become known, why if the perpetrators happen to be ‘Muslim’ why these EDL trolls feel its such a big point against Muslims. If a non-Muslim rape gang is exposed in the media, you’ll never hear a peep about it from these idiots. However, the minute the word ‘Muslim’ is used, its an issue. As though the severity of the rape is dependent on what religion the person committing the crime has! Its absolutely barbaric. I honestly cannot fathom what goes on in these peoples minds. I just wish they would pick up a book and bloody read it (almost all the trolls from yesterday claimed to have read the Qur’aan – biggest load of sheiz I’ve heard in a long time I tell you that) instead of getting their ideas from bias media and their own bloody ignorance.

In the end I got fed up of talking to brick walls, so I said my last bits and blocked them all. Not that it helped, as when I woke up I woke to another load of them! Honestly I’ve tried getting through to them on more then one occasion, to no avail. Not going to bother anymore. If anyone has any advice on how to deal with trolls like those mentioned, it would be greatly appreciated 🙂

I don’t actually have anything to talk about today. Just that my heart is literally breaking at the state of Egypt.

And what disgusts me the most is the way the media is trying to throw a blanket over the whole situation. And the way the West shoves its nose into everything and anything, but are doing sheiz all right now.
If it were the Islamists who instigated a coup against an elected government and were now massacring protestors, NATO would be intervening in Egypt.

May Allah help our brothers and sisters in Egypt. To remain strong and dutiful to their remembrance of Him, their reliance on Him, and grant victory to the believers. To all the Muslims in and all other lands of the Muslims – Ameen ya Rabb!

First and foremost, sorry I didn’t post yesterday, the reason being is that I was ill :(, I actually still feel slightly sick today, but thought I couldn’t go two days without getting something up here.. I don’t know what it is, I’ve just been feeling really uneasy all day, and after iftaar it worsens dramatically 😦 Like I struggle through praying taraweeh that’s how bad it gets 😦 But InSha’Allah I’ll get better soon 🙂

The Battle of Badr, as it was fought on the 17th Ramadan 2 A.H. The Muslim army was made up of 300-317 men, of which 82-86 were emigrants, 61 from the Aws and 170 from the tribes of Khazraj. They were not well equipped or adequately prepared, indeed they only had 2 horses and 70 camels between them! And yet Subhan’Allah, with the power of Allah, they managed to beat the Quraish, who had an army that was over 1000 men strong.

Indeed the fast of Ramadan was established as an obligatory observance that year, alongside the duty to pay Zakat. The Shawwal ‘Eid was also established directly after the victory of Badr. It is reported that it was the finest spectacle witnessed of Muslims praying, acclaiming Allah’s name at the tops of their voices in recognition of his favour, grace and support he rendered through which the forces of truth overpowered those of evil.

“And remember when you were few and oppressed in the land, fearing that people might abduct you, but He sheltered you, supported you with His victory, and provided you with good things – that you might be grateful.” [8:26] Sahih International

Just like Allah granted victory to a few believers against a huge opposition in the Battle of Badr, May Allah grant victory to Syria and the believers in Egypt also. Ameen.

Yes, you read right up there. Day 15 is actually over. We are half way through Ramadan already. Its crazy how fast the days are passing us by. Its funny how here in the UK, the days are long and we are keeping 18 hour fasts, so you’d expect it to go slow and you could get loads done. And yet it doesn’t actually feel that way. Almost in a blink it feels as though its time to prepare iftaar, and then pray taraweeh, and so on.

Generally I have a slight sit down after praying maghrib to relax and think about the day. My mind is spinning with thoughts of ‘how much Qur’aan did I manage to read. I should have finished this of at that time’ etc etc. And Subhan’Allah, worldly things just don’t come to mind as frequently, they just don’t seem important right now. For example, theres a series on the BBC which I love watching called Luther. The main actor was born and brought up where I live, and in fact some of the scenes where actually filmed on my road. The series ended last night, and I thought to myself ‘damn I wanted to watch that’. I had honestly forgotten about it, as being in the spirit of Ramadan, things like watching general tv shows just seem so trivial. And no, I’m not gonna lie to you and say after Ramadan ends I’m not going to watch tv, because I know I will. Its just that right now I think, I have been blessed enough to see another Ramadan when so many other haven’t, so why not make the most of my time by doing some good deeds and filling up my bank for the Ahkirah. InSha’Allah. After all, with technology nowadays, its so easy to catch up on tv shows, who really cares if you’re watching something a week or two late? Its just something to thing about really, that tv show is still going to be there when Ramadan ends, and its not particularly benefiting you in anyway whatsoever. So why not go do something beneficial in this blessed month, while you have the chance. Because there’s not guarantee you will be here to see it again.

In one of my first posts during Ramadan I mentioned that channel 4 where broadcasting the fajr azan on tv throughout the whole month of Ramadan. My only issue with it was that they had no subtitles with it, so if non-muslims where watching, they wouldn’t understand what was being said. However, I watched it this morning, and Alhamdulillah they’ve changed the video and it now has the meaning of the azaan running below 🙂 You can watch it here if you like 🙂

So todays post is gonna be pretty short as I don’t really have much to talk about. I don’t think I could get away with writing this post without mentioning the crazy weather though! As I was writing yesterdays post I said how I could hear the thunder rumbling. Well after which the lightening came and then the rain. It was quite a sight to see! Indeed yesterday we finished the 13th fast, and the 13th Surah in the Qur’aan is actually called ‘Ar-Rad’ which means ‘The Thunder’! Subhan’Allah, how fitting it was. I see things like this and I just think, how can someone see this all and still deny Allah’s existence? I just can’t fathom their reasons. Indeed, someone I follow on twitter posted this spectacular picture of the thunder and lightening from outside East London Mosque last night which I had to share with you all

Subhan’Allah, it looks so amazing it almost looks unreal right?!

I had work today, and I would have been late, had my dad not woken me up! Staying up and sleeping after Fajr takes its toll on my sleeping pattern I’ll tell you that! But yeah, thanks dad! 🙂 All I can about it is that it felt excruciatingly long and tiring. Not because the work was hard or anything, but because my boss feels the need to constantly stare over my shoulder and check if what I’m doing is right. ¬¬

I have never been one to think in a calculated manner in what I say and do. Unlike other people, I don’t think before I speak, I never think that someone might twist what I say and think I meant something completely different. I guess you could say I am pretty naive in the sense that I don’t realise what I say people may later twist in such a horrible manner that makes me look like a horrible person. When I say something, I say it as it is. To be honest I don’t have time to calculate a snide comment and say it but with a lot of flowers sprinkled over the top so its not obvious I’m making a snide comment. I don’t understand how people in this world have the time and energy to sit around calculated such comments and ripping apart and certain thing someone may have said, to search for some hidden meaning that isn’t even there! Like can someone not say something with a white conscience anymore?

I don’t even know if what I just said made sense, its just been bugging me for a while and it needed to come out. I guess I’m just too trusting to think everyone is as open as me. There’s an old saying in bengali my mum used to say: ‘don’t trust to easily, not even the hairs on your left arm are your friend’ Its one of those sayings that kind of got lost in translation, I can’t really explain it properly, I’m sorry.

Side note – this is has been bugging me since before I began blogging, but more so since I started as I’ve noticed it more – WHY DOES GOOGLE CHROME FEEL THE NEED TO SAY I’M SPELLING THINGS WRONG JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT WRITING IN AMERICAN ENGLISH?! ¬¬ Give me the option to change the spell check to ENGLISH English and stop putting a red line under words I know I’m spelling correctly!! ¬¬ Ugh.

Sorry about this ranting post, if anyone can give me some insight as to why some people are so calculated and confusing, it would be much appreciated 🙂