Also having a girlfriend close by. I mean, I'm really happy with who I'm with, don't get me wrong, but goddamn if that distance isn't the worst thing ever. DX I just want cuddles and kisses and stuff, but noooooo. She's on another continent.

Somehow reading and finally finishing The Hours has made me even clingier and more lovey dovey than usual, which is saying a lot. Just....that part when Sally gets Clarissa flowers.

__________________

Nobody can see us in this midnight mist
So let me kiss those poisoned lips

I kind of miss 2015. Well, what very little I remember of it anyway (Cassandra, my mom being in the hospital, me dealing with that, getting totally drunk on Halloween and going to Costco/Jamba Juice with my sis a lot!) Mostly, what I miss is how I was completely and totally into The Dresden Dolls, Revue Noir, Nicki Jaine and Jill Tracy's music. Now? I'm all over the damn place with music. I can't really get into dark cabaret. Even if I tried. Maybe I'll try again in the fall......

I miss Jamba Juice :/ I'm going to see if my brother can get me a drink on his way home from work on Thursday. Also, I find it hilarious that I once missed living here with my brother and his wife. And now that I am (temporarily) living with them, I want to get the fuck out after just three months of staying here. Lucky for me, I'm almost moving out!

Another anything I find amusing. I said I missed new material from Collide and Hungry Lucy. And here they are. Collide is releasing a new album (this month! ) and I read on fb that Hungry Lucy are coming back with a new album!

I miss feeling totally comfortable and free. Here, at my brother's house, I don't feel any of that. I can't just go and clean things because they're very picky about their shit. Yes, I'm grateful that he gave me a place to stay but it's not stable. It's not some place I can fully rely on. I fucking miss being in my room, surrounded by my things and feeling safe. I miss feeling like I'm home. Emotionally, I'm good. Everything is all good. I'm finally stable. I believe I survived the worst of it. And that's not something I'd willingly say a few months back

And all this is why I was crying while listening to The Cure a couple of mornings ago. Because I missed the feeling of being home