Top Gear would like to propose a new addition to the great lexicon of similes. Since there seems to be no accepted standard for 'as reliable as...', we'd like to propose 'as reliable as a Japanese automobile'.

Nearly every category is topped by a sensible, well put-together piece of Japanese metal, and nearly every category sees a badly-built, unreliable European banger at the bottom. Like it or lump it, we're just telling it like it is.

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Sports
The Honda S2000 canters to victory in the sports car category, closely pushed by a pair of Mazdas (the MX5 and RX8) and brace of Toyotas (the MR2 and Celica). Smart's tiny Roadster is officially the worst sports car around, but we reckon that's partially due to harsh categorisation. Dishonourable mention, then, goes to the second-bottom Merc CLK, which owners found bugged by reliability issues.

Luxury
You might expect the German executive barges to walk this one, but no - the Lexus IS200/300 is the top luxury car around. And though the Jaguar marque is languishing in the doldrums, owners haven't been deterred with the XJ and S-Type both recording strong positions. The Mercedes E- and S-Class bring up the rear, with poor reliability causing the problems again.

SUV
It's another victory for Lexus in the 4x4 category, with owners exalting the RX300's combination of bullet-proof build quality and on-road manners. Second place for the Kia Sorento is a great result for a model aimed at the budget end of the SUV market. Mercedes manages to avoid the wooden spoon in this category, but only just - the utilitarian Jeep Cherokee proving even worse than the M-Class.

MPV
Brace yourself for a shock: it's a European car in first place. A combination of spaciousness and versatility sees the Seat Altea :clapping: take the crown in the MPV category, while at the other end - can you tell what it is yet? - the Peugeot 807 lurks apologetically. You really didn't like it, did you?

Medium
It's been a good survey for Skoda. The Czech company has flourished under Volkswagen's ownership, and this top-two finish for the Octavia and Superb helps Skoda edge past Lexus as the best manufacturer overall. It's not a category that makes good reading for the French, though, with Peugeot's 406 and 407 joining the Renault Laguna in the relegation zone.

Compact
It's the celebrity media-appeaser of choice, and it seems the rest of you are keen on the Toyota Prius too. The hybrid tops a Japan-dominated category, beating off strong competition from the Mazda 3 and Honda Civic. Z-list status goes to the Peugeot 307, Renault Megane and Merc A-Class.

Small
Tiny but perfectly formed, the Honda Jazz nipped past Skoda's Fabia and the Fiat Panda to scoop the big prize in this category. And just in case the French manufacturers were getting lonely propping up the table, the Rover 25 gallantly sinks below the Citroen C3 in last place. Good British manners, y'see.

Mitsubishi UK reckons the Evo IX will pummel its way from zero to 60 mph in 3.9 seconds and top 160 mph, compared with a claimed 3.5 seconds and 175-plus mph for the FQ-400. In the real world, the difference between the two is marginal, but there can be no denying that the 360 feels massively quicker than the stock car.

There is something otherworldly about the way the FQ-360 gathers pace. Above 3,000 rpm, it doesn't so much accelerate as throw itself at the horizon. Anyone with a weak constitution should call a cab — this car has the ability to rearrange your intestines.