I'm small, loud, and come wrapped in a shiny package. I'm likely
not the droid you're looking for. Seriously, I'm the last stop:
you'll date me, we'll break up, and you'll marry the next girl or
boy you date.

I dance multiple
times per week (usually swing, lindy, very rarely the blues, and
will occasionally bal here & there), I collect Atari 2600 games and I live with
a very large, loud orange cat who enjoys long walks in the park and
catnip mices.

I've got a rapier-sharp wit, the loudest laugh in the room, and
wicked inappropriate sense of humor.

My diet's somewhat limited due to some major food
intolerances-eating out can be pretty entertaining with me. Don't
worry, it doesn't impact you as much as you'd think. You will learn
where all the gluten-free, egg-free cupcakes and
pizza joints are in the city though, amongst other things. This
also means I'm down with your food concerns. Vegan? No problem!
Only eat marshmallow peeps? AWESOME. Mea-gan? Great, let's go to
that Brazilian meat on a stick place and feast on roast
beast!

I've taken up swing dancing or the lindy hop & find it
much to my liking. You'll usually find me on the dance floor, or
making an impromptu dance floor in some outdoor space when the
weather holds.

I do play some video games, but not nearly as much as I used to. I
recently completed Fallout 3 (again), Bioshock 2 (yes, catching up
on older games), played some LA Noire, and am currently playing
Skyrim. Just got me some Bioshock Infinite! I thought The Last of
Us was as good as they told us it would be. Seriously, why can't
more games be that intense?

Aside from that, the usual detritus of modern day life: teh
internets, teleworking, reading, out with my friends. See above.
Rinse, lather, repeat.

Food's a minefield, so there aren't too many favorites. Roast
beast? Coffee?

I read often, many genres. I'm a huge Steinbeck fan, and I love sci-fi.
Have a book to recommend? Please do. I'm big on American lit
overall, and I've read A Prayer for Owen Meany about
eleventy-twelve times. Also reading The Big Short, which is more
interesting than one would think. Also just finished the Forever
War, on recommendation from my brother.

Currently digging the 80's new wave, and anything danceable. My
XM/Sirius radio is usually tuned to 1st Wave, 80's on 8, 50's on 5,
or the 40's on 4, with a smattering of Siriusly Sinatra, Alt
Nation, or Lithium (don't hate, I was in college in the 90's,
hahaha.)

As for movies, Star
Trek, all of them. Seriously. KHAAAAAAAAAN. I like Spock best
of all. Usually, I prefer movies that make me laugh until things
come out of my nose (lowbrow humor: see things such as Cabin Boy,
Galaxy Quest, Wayne's World), or large-scale action flicks such as
the Terminator. I also like sci-fi, obviously, such as Blade Runner. Oh, and
as made clear by the references, yes, I dig Star Wars, but only the original ones.
None of this Jar-Jar Binks crap. Oh, and I should give a shout out
to the finest TV show ever: Aqua Teen Hunger
Force

I've recently been pondering why time seems to have stopped for me
and I now look 10 years younger than most of my peers.

This leads me to usually dating down, and then SERIOUSLY REGRETTING
IT, because, dude, YOU PEOPLE DON'T REMEMBER THE THUNDERCATS. OR
PITFALL. THE HELL? Seriously, Gen-X, where are you on this site?
Come commune with me over the memories of our misspent
youths.

On a deeper note, my health, what to do next, the usual things we
all ponder.

HOORAY FOR THE PASSAGE OF TIME, I NO LONGER SPORT THE UNFORTUNATE
MULLET. However, I realize my current hair no longer affords me the
luxury of weeding out judgmental assholes at first glance, as it is
shockingly normal. BAH.

This used to be a study in negatives. I'm changing it up, though be
forewarned: the snark, it is close to my heart.

I brake for dancers, I dig the liberals, and I make passes at
guys who wear glasses. I also enjoy the nerdlier boys
who can grow things in petri dishes. Who doesn't like science
projects?

In terms of personality, the more the better, in my book, usually.
Since my volume control is lacking, people who can hold their own
are awesome.

My favorite boys in the past have been King Nerds, seriously, who
knew volumes about dork history-including the PlayStation fan of
the year, hahaha. Seriously.

Someone recently asked me if I have a type. The answer, after a bit
of thought, is apparently yes, I do, type : "engineer and/or
programmer." I realized that nearly everyone I've dated seriously
in my life is one of those professions. Interesting, no?

Nowadays, a fellow dancer would rock my socks, but as long as
you're willing to work around my schedule, we're cool. That being
said, I shall remind you I dance at least every monday, tuesday,
saturday and some fridays and thursdays. This is not including the
dance exchange weekends. So if you really hate dancing, you might
want to skip this profile and proceed to the next girl.

Things that are dealbreakers: zealotry, cigarette smoking, drug
usage, living outside the immediate DC metro area (I have recently
been informed that this is confusing, so to clarify, if you're in
the immediate suburbs, such as, say, silver spring, arlington, etc,
that's fine. An hour outside the city is not. make sense?),
polyamory (honestly, I don't play second fiddle well.)

Oh, and you lame ducks? Jet. Do not pass go. DC's my home base. My
mothership, if you will.

Another note: if you're old enough to be my dad, I'm not interested
in dating you. Seriously. You're not a special flower that will
suddenly win me over because you tell me I'm pretty or that you
have money. I can buy my own shiny things, kthxbye, and I know I'm
pretty awesome already.