and now for something completely different

There's a pumpkin shortage! Wasn't there a pumpkin shortage last Hallowe'en also? These shortages drive prices up, in my opinion pumpkins are overpriced anyway, but the pumpkin industry has established itself as essential to the holiday. In historical times - you know, those centuries we're glad we can read about but not live in except for some of the outfits - the people whose celebration of the turn of the year in autumn had serious worries about the ghost and goblins that might be out and up to mischief that night. Their lanterns - light scares ghosts away, as we know - were carved from turnips, rutabagas, other large unflavored root vegetables. The lands where squashes grew had not yet been stumbled upon by the misguided seekers of Eastern spices.
Last fall I tried to carve a turnip. Not a good idea. Those babies are tough. So here are some other seasonal frighteners:

There are few things scarier than trying on bathing suits, even veggies agree.

These don't hollow out well, but can sit happily amidst a group of flickering votives,

13 comments:

Oh my goodness! Those are hilarious. The - ahem - beauty of them, since they did not establish themselves with a specific holiday, is that they are more versatile. Think of them for summer pool parties and the eggplant for a black-tie event. But the lady bugs ... are those individual caviar eggs?

Yes, these are "All-Purpose Non-Denominational Festive Vegetarian Table or Mantel Flourishes". When the non-denominational celebration of your choice is over, you can add the decorations to the soup pot with the leftovers.

Not sure about the ladybug spots, my guess would be that half an olive was sacrificed.

Are you really having a pumpkin shortage? I went to the grocery store on Friday, crazed from my flight and not only did I leave my debit card there I nearly knocked over a giant pyramid of pumpkins in my insanity. We have loads here and I don't like this time of year one bit. I'm still convinced of ghosts out there, once Halloween is over I can breathe a sigh of relief. Those vegetables in their bikinis are so depressing! Yet somehow comforting!

I'm not convinced there's a shortage around here, although there was a drought this summer. it could all be PR to justify higher prices. Ii don't carve a pumpkin, I hare what's inside. But I do think trying on bikinis is scary at any season!

Driving along the road by the beach on a very foggy night, you can actually see the wind detach a chunk of fog and blow it across the road as a separate entity. That's as close as I've come to seeing a ghost. it sure looks real.

Yes, there's a shortage here too, I have been everywhere trying to find a pumpkin this year, but I've had no luck, there may be some in next week - my boxing gloves are on, I'm going to fight to the death to get one.

There doesn't seem to be a pumpkin shortage here at all. It actually seems as if they are trying to get rid of them, since they're priced at under $3 now. I already picked one up, since the boys enjoy the whole carving experience, not to mention we love to eat the roasted pumpkin seeds.

I completely agree with the veggies about trying on swimsuits...what a horrific experience. I always feel like veggie #2 in my suits. I'm glad we won't be having anymore 'beach time' this year. Well, at least not beach time in a swimsuit.

I think our shortage is purely PR, the enterprising vintners have already opened their mazes and pick-your-own-pumpkin fields out East, and the city farmer's markets are brimming with all-natural, all-organic, non-antibiotic pumpkins -- for those who don't go for the seeds, it's immaterial unless it causes the jack-o-lantern to give a scarier light.

I think stores ought to bring out the bathing-suit-try-on mirrors for their Halloween displays, so everyone would look scary.

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