>> Friday, July 25, 2014

I celebrated Pioneer Day in the most pioneer way possible. Some of you may be familiar with my food explorations. The last American Monstrosity I consumed was the KFC Double Down. It was surprisingly tasty, and not even as unhealthy as other fast food sandwiches. This time, I went in expecting something horrible. And I got it.

That's right, I took the dive into the Taco Bell Waffle Taco. This item has gotten a lot of press because of how weird of an idea it is. Let me say up front that this is another item that sounds less healthy than it is. But I have no doubt in my mind that this item was conceived of purely for the press it would receive.

The waffle isn't anything special. In fact, it's not even average. It's dry, mostly tasteless, and spongy. I anticipated there being some sort of maple syrup flavoring to be there, but the Taco Bell employees must have missed the memo, because mine was just filled with grease.

Next is the sausage. It was about 5 shades darker than what you see in the photo above. It was dry yet greasy, and equally as gross. I've had the breakfast Crunchwrap before, and the sausage is about the same there too. Taco Bell was really scraping the bottom of the barrel when they sourced these sausage patties.

The eggs. Oh the eggs. Dry, tasteless, probably fake.

Imagine the consistency of eggs. Now combine that with a bland, stale tasting waffle. add to that gross, old sausage, and throw on a little melted cheese to top it all off.

This was my breakfast. This is what American ingenuity has come to. Do yourself a favor and go to Gandolfo's and get The Crew instead.

P.S. This is what my waffle taco actually looked like, surprisingly accurate to the advertisement: