The 19 best Ryan Lochte tweets of 2012

Dec. 27, 2012
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@RyanLochte

by Chris Chase, USA TODAY Sports

by Chris Chase, USA TODAY Sports

If you're not one of Ryan Lochte's 1.1 million Twitter followers, you're missing out on the web's pre-eminent spot for laid-back half-thoughts, malaprops and homonym confusion. But, rest assured, if you've missed out so far, we'll catch you up. We've gone through the thousands of messages the Olympic gold medalist posted in 2012 to select the 19 that best capture the essence of Lochte.

Most of the tweets on our list are from after the Olympics. That's when Lochte's feed took a noticeable turn from somewhat-professional to more stream-of-consciousness-surfer-brah. It was almost as if Lochte started to embrace (or was allowed to embrace) the "sex idiot" persona glorified during his guest spot on 30 Rock.

His final Twitter tally for the year: Way too many tweets to count, 275 #jeah hashtags, 16 unironic and non-Outkast uses of the word "boi" and three separate suggestions to Serena Williams that they should definitely do karaoke again. In all, it's almost perfect symmetry that Lochte uses "jeah" -- his signature catchphrase -- 365 times in 2012. We know that there were 366 days in 2012 thanks to the leap year, but we're guessing Ryan Lochte doesn't.

By the way, we should preface this list by saying the Olympic swimming star seems like a nice enough guy -- he gives medals to kids, tweets about charities and adores his family.

Good, now that we've got that out of the way, here are some things to look out for while you're enjoying Lochte's bits of wisdom:

â?¢ Which tweet defies every known truth about the solar system?

â?¢ Which tweet isn't like the others (cough, *writtenbyahandler* cough)?

â?¢ Which tweet should have alerted the people of Gainesville to dial 9 and 1 on their phones as precaution?

â?¢ Also, No. 1 on this list is literally my favorite tweet of all time. It makes me laugh just thinking about it.

These are all taken from Lochte's Twitter page, verbatim:

19. Pain is temporarily, pride is forever.

18. Just got in whole food market and this place is huge! It would take me an hour or so just to find what I want to eat!

17. Shout out to @lancebass for having me on his XM radio show tonight. It was great talking to you.

16. I am ready to get back and into my new training phase with @Matt_DeLancey #LetsGo

15. (His very next tweet) My boys making it rainbow shots at @ballsbookstore with @DustinMidtown and Shalom.

14. Just got into my rental car and the lady gave me the wrong car. So they thought I was steeling the car, couldn't help but laugh!!!

13. Too travel is sometimes better to arrive!

12. The beat thin in life is family ... I haven't been this happy in a long time!!!

11. Just walked in the Toys R Us, and the M&M store. Soo cool @onlyinNyC

10. Thanks to Anna Wintour for her belief in me and for the honor of being the 4th man on the cover of Vogue. #Jeah! @voguemagazine

9. Always reach for the moon cuz if u slip up u will still be a star!! #Jeah