John Cage Berates Performing Rights Society Regarding His Silent Work

Composer John Cage has launched an angry tirade against the Performing Rights Society (PRS) branding them “ineffectual and utterly useless”.
The composer, who is most famous for his work “Four Minutes and Thirty Three Seconds” which consists of silence during its eponymous time span, is angry with the PRS for its failure to collect royalties as his piece is played constantly in workplaces around the UK.
The composer added, “these people are happy to collect revenue from their regular customers – hairdressers, pubs and the like – but they show a complete lack of imagination when it comes to finding places where my work is being played on a near-constant basis. I don’t want to be seen as the bad guy in all of this but music is my chosen profession and I expect some remuneration in order to allow me to compose future works. I am currently working on a thirty minute continuation of the original piece which I expect will eventually unfold as a trilogy with the final piece lasting for in excess of an hour”

I like this idea - could it be beefed up a bit into a NIB/FP?
Maybe the PRS suddenly comes forward with a royalty payment of 52 trillion trillion pounds.
Cage could prowl the streets with his lawyer, suing anyone not currently making a noise for unauthorised performances.
And more stuff.

The Performing Rights Society (PRS) has been roundly attacked by avant-garde composer John Cage for its failure to collect royalties for his most famous work, 'Four Minutes and Thirty-Three Seconds' - a work that consists entirely of silence.

Cage points out that while writers are paid royalties by libraries, he hasn't yet received a penny although his work is used in libraries across the UK.

'Walk into any library and you'll find my work being performed over and over again,' he says. 'But I've yet to hear the clink of coins or the rustle of tenners in my hand. Writers get paid, but not composers. The PRS is useless.'

Cage also claims that part of his work is used at national events such as Remembrance Day. 'I've seen millions of people standing around listening to A Two Minute Silence, a variation on my piece,' he says, 'including the Royals who also haven't paid me a sovereign in royalties.'

A PRS spokeswoman indicated that the society would be staying silent on the matter for at least four minutes and thirty-three seconds and probably for as long as Wagner's Ring Cycle.