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From food stamps to fame, it's been a wild ride for Denise Jonas, mom of America's biggest pop stars, the Jonas Brothers. Here, she opens up about how she keeps them grounded and makes her marriage work — plus the one parenting rule she will never, ever break

About a year ago, Denise Jonas took her family to a Bob's Big Boy near Burbank, CA. As everyone began deciding between the fried chicken and cheeseburgers, in walked Kristy McNichol, the actress who starred in the late-1970s TV series Family and the 1980 film Little Darlings.

"She was just sitting there. My teenage idol!" Denise practically squeals, even now. At the restaurant, she turned her head all the way around just to watch McNichol sit down in a booth and open a menu. "I'd just loved her so much," Denise says. "I did the whole thing — gasped, sucked the air out of the room."

"Mom!" Denise's kids said. "What's wrong?!"

Her boys stared at Denise as if she might be ill. Finally one guessed, "Starstruck?"

The family burst out laughing. Denise's family is the Jonas family, and her three oldest sons — Kevin, 21; Joseph, 19; and Nicholas, 16 — are the Jonas Brothers, arguably the world's most popular band. The first weeks of their 2009 seven-month, sold-out international tour will take them from Lima to London. And at every concert, tween and teenage girls (as well as many of their moms) quiver, sob, scream, and sometimes faint. No wonder they are the youngest band ever to appear on the cover of Rolling Stone. With their fourth studio album, Lines, Vines and Trying Times, just out and their booming TV and movie careers, the boys have the pop-culture landscape well covered.

Watch our exclusive cover shoot video:

If it has all been a wild ride since the brothers guest-starred on a 2007 Hannah Montana episode, nearly instant fame continues to be a surreal experience for the woman who gave birth to them all. People are starting to rubberneck at her.

"The other day I was in Walmart buying, you know, private things," Denise says, her brown eyes sparkling. "And people were coming right over to my cart!"

Denise Jonas is caught in a Disney-magic-wand moment between the working class world she has always known and the fairy-princess fishbowl of fame where she will most likely live from now on. Little in her background prepared her for trips to the White House (seven so far), chats with Barbara Walters, and travel by private plane. When she was growing up in Newburgh, NY, her dad was employed by an exterminating company and later by the postal service, and her mom worked in public school education. Her family moved to Phoenix when she was a child. They were, Denise says, typical Italians — big on food (Grandma's cooking comes up in interviews with the Jonas Brothers) and sacrifice for children. When Denise was young, the family converted from Catholicism to nondenominational Christianity, and after high school, Denise felt called to missionary work. "I had a heart to give my life to service. [But] I didn't really know all I could do in that area," Denise says. "After meeting my husband, we were able to work through music."

Young Love

Denise and Kevin Jonas Sr. met on their very first day at Christ for the Nations Institute in Dallas. The sweet-faced man with an intense demeanor ("He talked like he was going to conquer the world," Denise recalls) had grown up dirt-poor in rural North Carolina with his single mother, and was considered a musical prodigy, singing professionally at age 7. Both Kevin and Denise say they fell for each other at first sight, right in the registration line. "He was talking about working at a summer camp with these young kids, and all his passion and heart for them. And I thought, 'He could be a wonderful father someday.'"

Within six months of their meeting, Kevin proposed on bended knee; they were married on August 15, 1985. Both were just 18 years old. After graduation, Kevin Sr. became a worship director at an Assembly of God church in Wyckoff, NJ, but his heart lay with music. He soon left his job, and the family, which now included baby Kevin Jr., moved in with Denise's parents in Arizona. "Kevin worked very diligently to learn the music industry from a songwriting perspective," Denise remembers. "He'd fly to Nashville — just walking the street, walking into different places."

For income, Kevin tried to help Denise's parents, who had bought a carpet-installation business in Arizona. The venture didn't go well at all. "We had to live on food stamps," Denise recalls. "It was very hard on my husband. He was trying to do something good for the family, but the business wasn't paying. It was a humbling time. Now we look back on it as a turning point — something necessary for us to go through so we could properly appreciate where we would be later."

It's a Family Affair

Though Kevin Sr. abandoned his dream of becoming a performer, he took a job that combined his Christian faith and love of music: directing a music program at his and Denise's old institute. This required the family, which by the early 1990s included Kevin Jr. and baby Joe, to spend months at a time on the road in a 15-passenger van, meeting with students.

"We wanted [everyone] to feel joy in the presence of our children," Denise says. "To me, there's nothing more frustrating than being around a child who's annoying. We taught our kids proper manners." Denise's methods: consistency, boundaries, and constantly "reinforcing good conduct until it was behavior. Because they're going to be adults a lot longer than they're children."

Even now that her boys are rock stars, Denise holds a hard line on manners; it's a key way she keeps them grounded while they're surrounded by a world of glitz.

"It's not like we're the von Trapps, and she has a whistle," says Kevin Jr.

"Yeah, but sometimes we're running around like madmen," says Nick. "And she makes us be careful in the hotel room — put back the towels, [straighten] the bed."

A few years after Nick was born in 1992, Kevin Sr. received another job offer: to be senior pastor at their old church in Wyckoff. Thinking it would be a good place to raise their children — they couldn't stay on the road forever ("Ha!" Denise now laughs) — they accepted.

Like virtually all mothers, Denise knows that each of her four children (there's also 8-year-old Franklin, known as Frankie) has his talents, but right away, she and Kevin Sr. could tell that Nick was different. He did not like the usual childhood pastimes — he didn't want to play with LEGOs or watch TV (which Denise only let the boys watch on weekends). "The only thing Nick would watch was a DVD of Mary Martin in Peter Pan."

Then he started singing — beautifully. One day when he was crooning at the salon where Denise got her hair done, another customer said, "He needs a manager."

Born to Rock

Presto, Nick went on a few auditions and then landed a part. And suddenly Wyckoff's being just one bridge away from New York City — the theater capital of the world — seemed providential.

"It's important for parents not to be afraid of their kids' talents," Denise says. "I know parents with multiple children who don't feel it's equitable across the board to assist one child. But I say, 'Go for it.' " Because in Denise's experience, celebrating individual gifts helps everyone find his best place.

After Nick was discovered and wound up on Broadway — as Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol, among other roles — Joe launched his career in Oliver! while Kevin Jr. landed commercials. In 2004, Nick recorded a solo album, and soon after, Columbia decided to give the Jonas trio a shot. The family packed into a van and began playing concerts across America, including one at a venue the boys describe as "a horrible little rock club."

Denise had few concerns about her boys missing the usual activities of childhood, like soccer practice. "I did not think about the negative aspects of stage life or being child stars. We simply thought about the responsibility we'd carry." Success came quickly to the Jonases, but not without a taste of failure: In 2006, their first record label, Columbia, dropped the group, reportedly telling Team Jonas, "The [success] indicators aren't there."

While their dad has described the band's rejection by the label as "devastating," the boys just say the experience provided important perspective on the blessings they enjoy today. Whatever they suffered, they suffered it extraordinarily quickly. Hollywood Records signed them up, and their next album, Jonas Brothers — supported by slickly produced videos — went double-platinum, selling nearly three million copies worldwide.

Since then, Denise says, she has had it easier than many mothers of teenage boys: "We have more time together than most families because we travel together [so much]." That said, as the kids get older, Denise's minute-to-minute role in their lives will shift. "Nick's still a minor," she says. "So there's no way [I can stop traveling with them]. But I do have to release," she continues. "Joseph's 19 and just got his driver's license, so he's freer to do things. When he was younger we would say he had to be in by a certain time. Now we just know he'll be reasonable."

Nor is Denise naive about the temptations young rock stars face — even if the rock stars in her family wear purity rings, symbols of a commitment to remain virgins until marriage. Denise says the boys never meant to be standard-bearers for the premarital-chastity cause; this was a private decision each made that has become very public. "They've been criticized for proclaiming things they never proclaimed," she says. "And what's the criticism? They don't want to go out there giving everyone an STD? What's so terrible about that?"

She's realistic about the challenges ahead: "They are men. They have desires. They have testosterone. If they make a mistake, I'm not going to hate them. I don't think they are above or below being seduced. I would be foolish if I thought that. They are tested and tested, like every one of us. I pray for them. I try to guide them with their choices, but I'm not making their choices. They have been hurt in relationships by girls. But it's just about growing up and learning what it means to be in a relationship."

For all the gossip surrounding her sons' romances (Nick is said to have been in — and out of — a relationship with teen queen Miley Cyrus; Joe, as of press time, was reported to be seeing actress Camilla Belle; and Kevin has been seen squiring a couple of pretty young women), Denise admits, "I think the hardest thing about raising [the boys] is me and my own mouth. You want to tell your child how to do it right, but you can't say, 'Ah, she's not a good choice!' Sometimes things just come out of my mouth in a very black-and-white way, and I'm like, That was not good. Because it just pushes them away."

The boys acknowledge that their mother can be painfully straightforward about the young women they bring home. "People always ask, 'What's a girl have to do to get your attention?'" says Joe. "She has to be good to Mom." And for her part, Denise tries to stick to just one nonnegotiable quality for any future Jonas daughter-in-law: "She must sincerely and totally love my son!"

Enter our Jonas Brothers Sweeps!

I Love Texas, It's My Home

The family recently bought a house just outside Dallas instead of Los Angeles because Denise and Kevin want the boys to have "a separation from the unhealthy aspects of celebrity living." Denise is trying hard to savor these moments of the whole family's still living under one roof by doing her favorite mom duties, but that can be tricky. She tries to cook — the boys go on rather endlessly about her beef stroganoff, lasagna, and egg casserole — and to decorate for holidays. "But," she admits, "it's like, Oh, it's Easter? Where's that dish I need? We've moved so much. Things are in storage. I used to be festive and have decor all around the house. Now I think, What's wrong with me? But it's just because we're so busy. I'm just trying to keep up!"

There is one thing Denise and her husband are definitely keeping up with during what Kevin Jr. calls this "not real" time of celebrity. That is their faith. Even though it can be difficult for the now widely recognized family to go anywhere without security and crowd control, Denise and the family go to church. Their fame means they need to get in and out quickly. "We have to get people to assist us," she says.

They also live out the ideals of Christian charity — which, yes, means giving a lot of money to good causes (the boys donate a percentage of their earnings to a nonprofit they started, Change for the Children Foundation, which last year donated over $1 million to charity) and living a life of service, especially to friends.

Which explains their rather unusual household. More than 10 years ago, a parishioner at Kevin Sr.'s Wyckoff church died of lymphoma and, on his deathbed, asked Kevin Sr. to keep an eye on his wife and baby daughter. For the past couple of years, that woman and child have lived with the Jonases. While they have their own bedrooms and bathrooms, they share the rest of the home. Says Kevin Sr.: "They're our dearest friends."

Love and Marriage

Denise and Kevin Sr. also try to prepare their boys for deeper success — a loving marriage — by modeling good behavior. While the couple made it to an Italian restaurant in a mall last week, Denise says making time for a date night is difficult because the family is so busy, and because Kevin Sr. co-manages the boys' careers. "I get very jealous of his time," Denise admits. "But then I bring myself back to reality." What she does is constantly show her boys that "marriage isn't 50/50." The rule she lives by: "Marriage is really giving 100 percent of yourself, and not expecting anything back." It is also about loving someone for the attributes he has. "[My husband] is not the best about bringing home presents, but he's selfless," she says. "So if I want something, I just go buy it."

The thing is, Denise isn't much of a shopper and doesn't indulge in lavish sprees. She wears little jewelry, often just a wedding band, and she tries to pick up interesting Christmas ornaments in places they visit on their tours. But her deepest pleasures are simple and low-cost. "Several years ago," she says, "we all watched a TV show called Jack & Bobby. It was about brothers, one of whom went on to be President, and it looked back at their younger years. It was so great to [have] that time together."

Her Toughest Moment

On the other hand, Denise's darkest hour was surely discovering Nick's diabetes. When he was 13, he and his brother Joe went swimming, and Joe "freaked" because Nick was so skinny, "he looked like a skeleton." Denise slept at Nick's bedside in the hospital until doctors were able to stabilize his condition. Though Denise knows logically that she's not responsible for his illness, she felt very guilty, as if she had done something to her child. She grieved deeply for the loss of his health. She got through those early days by leaning hard on her husband and her faith.

Today Nick wears an insulin pump attached to his back and "doesn't depend on me," Denise says. "While it [can be] a discouragement to know the realities of how diabetes could affect him in the long term, sometimes I forget he has it; he's so on top of it. But if he has something go wrong, I start to beat myself up." Denise knows that she hasn't done anything wrong, that her hypervigilance won't fix the situation. But it's just in her DNA.

For a woman who's said of herself, "I don't relax," Denise still sees a silver lining. "Diabetes has, I think, given Nicholas a lot of purpose." In fact, one of Change for the Children's favorite causes is always research and services for type 1 diabetes. Nick has also written a song called "A Little Bit Longer" about his experience with diabetes, and he works in partnership with Bayer Diabetes Care, hoping to support and inspire others with the disease.

"Purpose" is a word that comes up a lot with the Jonases. For them, fame isn't just about attention, money isn't just about wealth, and even music has meaning beyond entertainment. Denise's purpose is to raise good, decent, loving men. She says even though the oldest two are technically adults, they still look to their mom and dad for advice. This leads to what is perhaps her most important parenting principle, the one tenet she doesn't budge on. "Kevin and I aren't friends with our children. We're their parents. That's very important."

Kevin Jr. agrees: "[Mom's] protective, but allows us to do what we need to and make mistakes. But she's always there to fall back on, to ask for advice. We're really lucky."

Looking at the young men around her, Denise can't help but relax — just for a second — and smile.

That's Just the Way They Roll...

There was no drama when Team JoBro arrived at the GH photo shoot. Instead, the laid-back trio greeted everyone on set with handshakes and those great manners Mom had instilled in them. "Hi, I'm Joe," "I'm Nick," "I'm Kevin." Like. We. Didn't. Know.

While Nick and Joe spent most of their downtime in the dressing room, Kevin ducked outside frequently to talk on his iPhone in the sunshine.

OUR BAD!

Because we were trying to keep the studio cool, we kept closing the door — locking Kevin out in the parking lot. Sorry about that, Kev!

What We Heard

During the shoot, the guys grooved to tunes from Kings of Leon and the Zutons, courtesy of Joe's iPhone.
— Bari Nan Cohen

Meet the Bonus Jonas

He may not have a platinum album (yet), but 8-year-old Frankie Jonas — known as the "bonus Jonas" — isn't sitting on the sidelines. "I had a little girl hand me a note last week," recalls Denise, "and say, 'This is for Frankie. I feel sorry for him.' I'm like, 'Don't! He loves his life. He's not complaining.'" The trio's little bro first stepped into the spotlight with cameos in his brothers' music videos and concerts. Now Frankie has a recurring role on his siblings' new Disney Channel television series, JONAS, a spoof of their lives as teen superstars. He's also said to be starring alongside Joe, Nick, and Kevin in next year's big-screen family flick Walter the Farting Dog, based on the best-selling children's books. And, an aspiring musician, he's started his own rock band, reportedly called Webline. Frankie seems to realize he's a lucky kid: When asked what's the one thing that drives him nuts about his family, his answer was a sweet and simple "Nothing!"
— Laura Hahn