The Lion King, Mario Cipollini will be in town this weekend for the Red Hook Crit, supporting the top Italian contenders and hanging out at R&A Cycles. He’ll be leading a casual ride at Prospect Park on Friday morning (9:30am GAP) followed by a Q&A at R&A Cycles.We’ll also let him try a few laps on Saturday if he brings a track bike.#redhookcrit #rhcbk10 #critweek #cipo #racycles
Mario Cipollini? In Brooklyn? Riding casually in Prospect Park?

This is like...I don't even know what it's like, and rarely am I at a loss for simile.

All I know is that even post-artisanal 21st century Brooklyn still has its fair share of unctuous characters, all of whom will move up a notch or two on the Class-O-Meter by default this coming weekend:

(When graded on a Cipo curve this is like Muffy, Buffy, Chip and Chaz at the country club...and yes, apparently Hot Chicks With Douchebags still exists, even in our modern post-PC society.)

Nevertheless, even I, who have moved in the most rarefied (or sordid, depending on how you look at it) circles of cycling, am deeply intimidated--cowed even--by the prospect of being in the presence of someone who has played such a crucial role in my blog over the years:

("Without me to fall back on you are nothing.")

Indeed, even more daunting is the prospect of schlepping all the way to Brooklyn for a 9:30am rollout.

And then there's the prospect of discovering he's probably just a regular guy who's cannily cultivated an entertaining persona.

All if this is to say it remains to be seen whether or not I'll actually make it, and in the end it will all hinge on whether or not I manage to get the necessary vaccinations in time.

54 comments:

Mario coming to the Snob's turf. It's like Darth Vader flying by on the Death Star and asking Luke to join the dark side of freddidom to "ride" without restraints and Rapha guilt. "Snob, I am your farther" come claim your rightful place by the hi-vis Carbon throne.

Mario made the trip to America just to confront you about all the jokes you made at his expense.(It's a little known fact that he was born in Minnesota, and still has one of those "Fargo" type accents.....The Italian accent is fake)

Cipo in Brooklyn is like: Ann Coulter in Berkeley....., no, it is not nearly that bad of an idea, and Coulter is probably not going, maybe later..... You're right that simile is a hard one...Jeter buying the Marlins???

I lived near R & A back in the day (80's-90's) and went in their a few times. Never liked the service. I was a bike commuter riding shit bikes and got the shit treatment from the staff. I hope they have changed their tune in recent years.

No, don't do it! Just like it is always said that you should never meet your hero, I expect it is also true about meeting your anti-hero. What if he DOES turn out to be a nice guy and (gasp) what if you become friends? No, no, the risk is too high!

I imagine the shelves of the family planning sections of multiple Duane Reades will stripped bare. For my part, I'd take Plan B if he so much as looked at my saddle. I won't be going to the Red Hook Crit as watching people ride bikes sounds awful to me, but I'll be sure to set aside some money in case it's one of their off years and there's a lot of injury-related GoFundMes.

I've had similar experiences at R&A. I'm a bike commuter riding a Surly, not a Fred on a carbon fiber. Such fucking attitude. The staff seemed to actually have contempt for anyone not wearing a spandex suit plastered with logos & riding a multi-thousand-dollar bike.

I wonder if they've changed their tune too. I haven't been in there in more than 10 years. Thankfully there are plenty of other bike shops around now, it's easy to avoid that place.

In my experience people attracted to bike racing tend towards being loner nerds who are turned off by team sports, so I am going to guess 'regular guy who's cannily cultivated an entertaining persona.' Which is not to discount how entertaining it has been, how canny Cipo is, or how much fun he realized he could have once people started thinking he was cool.

Michael Ball's Wikipedia page is hilariously short. Even though pretty much everybody in cycling thinks he is an epic douche nozzle that sponsored a doping clusterfuck in the guise of cycling team, cycling people may be the only people that still remember that punched up little cunt.

Twenty years ago I went into R & A twice...once with the intention of buying a DeRosa, and then a week later to pick up the Casati I bought instead. They couldn't have been nicer & the advice they gave me was all good. (I would have been better off if I followed it)

I loved the article by Andrew Hood over at Velo News - http://www.velonews.com/2017/04/commentary/opinion-six-reasons-we-should-trust-valverde_436574 - it really changed my mind about whether Valverde might be cheating to win bicycle races.

We should believe that all of Valverde's wins are legitimate because he already served a doping ban, decreasing wear and tear on his body; Joop Zoetemelk (who never tested positive for doping) won a World Championship at 38; if he doped, it would be bad for his reputation; he doesn't win all year long, just in spring, and then does really well in grand tours (all three of them last season, in fact); he is tested more than almost every athlete in the world; there have been no major doping scandals involving a major rider or team in nearly a decade (Obviously, minus the Armstrong thing. And the Dutch thing that conveniently stopped happening right at the time where the statute of limitations could have stripped someone's accomplishments. And Astana. And Zakarin. But besides those isolated incidents, nothing); and he's winning by small margins against another successful 30-something named Contador (who we all know never used any illegal substances and has never turned in a suspicious performance). I'm sold, he must be clean and we should stop looking for dirt because it's totally normal for a guy who's 37 years old to beat 20-somethings at the peak of their physical conditioning.

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!