In the meanwhile, each and every single authoritarian commie bloody dictator in the world is taking this as the golden chance to became even more evil. And this time, noone is complaining because everybody is locked at home, scared for life, hoping that the nasty Chinese virus doesn't kill them. Don't worry, as your favorite dictator will ensure that you have a painful death by starvation anyway!

In the meanwhile, each and every single authoritarian commie bloody dictator in the world is taking this as the golden chance to became even more evil. And this time, noone is complaining because everybody is locked at home, scared for life, hoping that the nasty Chinese virus doesn't kill them. Don't worry, as your favorite dictator will ensure that you have a painful death by starvation anyway!

Half of all cases in the US are out of New York City, because they live standing-room-only and spent most of a month listening to the mayor explain how there was nothing wrong and they should continue clubbing with the baby seals.
Spoilers: this is the perfect recipe for a medical disaster when a virulent respiratory virus is kicking around.--- In UTF-16, where available. ---

I'm only leaving home once a week just to get some food, completely draining my bank accounts as my hopes of getting paid are getting slimmer. At least most (non-Chinese) shops are now forcing people to wash/disinfect their hands before entering the premises - free water and soap included! I would like for this to stay even after the emergency ends, to be fair.

While half the planet is falling apart due to The Plague™ (including my commie shithole which is about to finish its third week of mandated lockdown and where cops and soldiers are forcibly closing shops and harassing people on the streets after noon to comply with the curfew), I'm glad to report that some USAian entities have cancelled April Fools.

Yes, it feels awesome to read a prank-free Slashdot. They even have real news posted! (political bulllshittery aside)

Japan is handling it incompetently. Add to that list the UK, Brazil, and any Authoritarian state. That's why it's spread so far. The US *finally* got their act together, but much later than they should have. Hopefully they aren't stupid enough to let up on the restrictions before it's over. (I'm looking at you, Agent Orange)

And over here, people still refuse to understand the "social distancing" and "one meter apart" concepts.

Even during The Plague™, moronic primitive beings (aka "Venezuelans") are still willing to brawl while standing in line to buy food, instead of keeping distances. Because somehow their sacred right to buy half-price potatoes and onions is far more important than, y'know, not get sick in a country with absolutely no healthcare system whatsoever. And when you try to inject reasoning into their brains, you get insulted.

So yeah, if you're one of those, hope you get The Plague™ and die. Seriously, once again: that's how communists/authoritarian assholes WIN. If you still want to pretend that we're "business as usual", well, hope $DEITY have mercy on you, because the real world is not going to be merciful at all.

But hey, homebrew facemasks are the latest trend over here! In all fabrics, colors and patterns you can imagine! Too bad people also refuse to understand that if the facemask is not properly covering your mouth and nose, it's as useful as a rag soaked in water from the WC.

Most non-essential business have closed, including most (if not all) street sellers... save for the lone guy that somehow defies curfew just to sell DirecTV satkits (yes, DirecTV now allows to do so over here, instead of going to an brick&mortar authorized retailer; unlike most countries they don't sell kits online or over the phone). Are now HBO and sport-less sports channels considered "essential services"? (BTW: satkits are not cheap at all: an HD antenna+decoder kit costs $200 in the country where people earns $3/mo)Licensed Pirate® since 2006, 100% Buttcoin™-free

Posted by CaptainJistuceOne meter apart? Isn't that only about three feet? We've been pushing double that here.
Good luck, now more than ever.

In Australia it's 1.5 meters apart.

Yeah, you should go ahead and double that at least. A meter is just about arms length. Respiratory droplets can go much farther than that and a half.

Trying to get morons to understand that over here is like trying to teach high performance CPU design to a drugged monkey. People are already so used to get sandwiched standing in lines that I've yet to see a single idiot over here respecting the distancing.

Anyway, things are getting really shitty over here: while the virus is not killing us yet (well, that's what China and the Soviet Venezuelan druglord shitheads want us to believe!), everything else is going down the shitter at a faster pace than usual:

- Currency exchange rate once again took the rocket to Moon, so hyperinflation is killing us faster than any virus can do. Even worse: even if you've got hard currency, scumbag retailers (i.e. all of them) are raising the prices in USD too. A egg carton (30 units) went from $3 to $5 in ONE week! They blame it on the gas shortages (which are real, and people are now risking their lifes in order to refuel 10 liters once a week if they're VERY lucky... and that's here at the East - I've heard shit has gotten really ugly at the West, combined with daily, long power blackouts!), but the real reason is plain and simple anarchy (aka "everybody hates everybody").

- Speaking about money, banks are still closed, and the black market for local currency once again rise from dead. Want some worthless Sovereign Bolivar bills that noone wants anymore? Street sellers and shitbag Chinese shops are charging 25% premiums for that. At those prices, you would be terminally stupid if you didn't chose to buy some greenbacks instead!

- CANTV is also falling apart at a supersonic speed. First their flagship Chinese bird died suddenly because that's what you get when you buy cheap shit from China, blacking out their sat TV service and the entire ISDB-Tb DTV platform because they didn't let private stations set up their own DTV transmitters, instead forcing every single public and private TV network to broadcast from a central transmitter operated by CANTV and using that now-dead satellite as the up/downlink to the local DTV repeaters), and more recently, last weekend a fire at the very same CANTV HQ building (that they still refuse to disclose, or maybe are blaming to "sabotage from Trump/the opposition/Trump-funded opposition", not that I care what actually happened) knocked offline half of the country that still somehow had a working phone/DSL line. So yeah, that "let's silence every fucking Venezuelan as they're idiots anyway" strategy is working wonders.

- "Collective social voluntary quarantine" is the new disguise for a "mandatory curfew". If you're unlucky enough to be on the streets after 2PM, you're going to jail, most likely to be tortured and humiliated. Journalists are shutting their mouths as noone want to be the next one in line. For those naive idiots that still dare believing that "COVID-19 is the fall of the Soviet Venezuelan communism": get real, motherfuckers: if anything it's completely backwards: The Plague™ is turning an already horrible situation into something that soon will resemble the holocaust.

- Alcohol is nowhere to be found yet. Vinegar prices are high but not actually "extreme"... yet. Lemons? We call those "green gold" now. But in a bizarre turn of events, there are no toilet paper shortages to report yet, so the allmighthy Cornholio might consider having some vacations in hell Soviet Venezuela.

Yes, I'm pissed off, way more than usual.
I'm reserving my most nicest words for China and the WHO, but given that I would be breaking board rules if I said them (and believe me: the last thing I need is more isolation: first social networks, then COVID-19), I'll keep them to myself.Licensed Pirate® since 2006, 100% Buttcoin™-free

Protip: if whoever at the lead of your country is thinking about relaxing the lockdowns, overthrow those fuckers NOW.

As much as we want/need to reopen the global economy ASAP, that it's just not happening anytime soon for as long as we don't get this China pest under control. With vaccines not expected to be released until early 2021 AT THE VERY EARLIEST (and assuming that those Phase II/III trials go according to plans, i.e. people don't start dropping dead after the shots), it would be a crime to give people a naive expectation of safety just because "we did it, we flattened the curve!!!". Oh, and I've just read that there are already more infectious variants of this shitty virus already in the wild, so have fun!

But then, morons still believe that Bill Gates is infusing those vaccines with 5G nanobots, or whatever.

Oh, we're doing as bad as usual over here at Soviet Venezuela. We've been EXTREMELY lucky to have "only" ~381 cases officially reported (the real number should be like 10x times that considering that commies are fucking liars), but that's mostly due to the severe fuel shortages, plus good ol' repression. You can't get infected if you can't leave home.

No, people still refuses to respect social distancing.Licensed Pirate® since 2006, 100% Buttcoin™-free

Posted by tommanProtip: if whoever at the lead of your country is thinking about relaxing the lockdowns, overthrow those fuckers NOW.

Half the country thinks they are villains for not having already done so.

Oh, and I've just read that there are already more infectious variants of this shitty virus already in the wild, so have fun!

WHOO! We can reopen just in time to get the REAL version!

Oh, we're doing as bad as usual over here at Soviet Venezuela. We've been EXTREMELY lucky to have "only" ~381 cases officially reported (the real number should be like 10x times that considering that commies are fucking liars), but that's mostly due to the severe fuel shortages, plus good ol' repression. You can't get infected if you can't leave home.

No, people still refuses to respect social distancing.

Tyrannical repression is about the only thing that'd get people to keep their distance here.--- In UTF-16, where available. ---

Posted by tommanProtip: if whoever at the lead of your country is thinking about relaxing the lockdowns, overthrow those fuckers NOW.

Half the country thinks they are villains for not having already done so.

But Trump is only trying to make them rich like him. Then they’ll show those poor liberals and non-whites who’s boss. They don’t need to care about any virus. It doesn’t exist. But if it does and they get sick, Trump will help them for sure, right?

And Tyson execs can go fuck themselves. Their chicken quality got so poor I stopped buying it years ago. If Tyson goes down the world will be a better place.

The new coronavirus can persist in men's semen even after they have begun to recover, a finding that raises the possibility the virus could be sexually transmitted, Chinese researchers said Thursday. A team at Shangqiu Municipal Hospital tested 38 male patients treated there at the height of the pandemic in China, in January and February. About 16% of them had evidence of the coronavirus in their semen, the team reported in the journal JAMA Network Open. About a quarter of them were in the acute stage of infection and nearly 9% of them were recovering, the team reported. It's not a surprising finding. Many viruses can live in the male reproductive tract. Ebola and Zika virus were both found to spread in semen, sometimes months after a male patient had recovered. It's not yet clear if coronavirus can spread this way. Finding evidence of virus does not necessarily mean it's infectious.

The new coronavirus can persist in men's semen even after they have begun to recover, a finding that raises the possibility the virus could be sexually transmitted, Chinese researchers said Thursday. A team at Shangqiu Municipal Hospital tested 38 male patients treated there at the height of the pandemic in China, in January and February. About 16% of them had evidence of the coronavirus in their semen, the team reported in the journal JAMA Network Open. About a quarter of them were in the acute stage of infection and nearly 9% of them were recovering, the team reported. It's not a surprising finding. Many viruses can live in the male reproductive tract. Ebola and Zika virus were both found to spread in semen, sometimes months after a male patient had recovered. It's not yet clear if coronavirus can spread this way. Finding evidence of virus does not necessarily mean it's infectious.

... I don't want to live in this world anymore.

Thaaaaaaaaaaanks, China.

solution? get your balls removed and take estrogen. it's not like i'd do it or anything...