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So the Bloc and the NDP have soared in the polls instead, leaving Trudeau and Scheer locked in an unpopularity contest.

But Dr. Josh, I thought the Bloc was dead and done.– Queasy-in-Côte-St-Luc

So did most Canadians, Queasy. But like an electoral Frankenstein, it’s come back to life.

In the debates, Yves-François Blanchet outperformed Trudeau and Scheer in both official languages. He’s taken an out-of-fashion separatist message and rebranded it as Quebec nationalism and laïcité (translation: no teachers in hijabs).

Blanchet is secretly selling an old but popular dream: an independent Quebec in a united Canada.

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Meanwhile, NDP Leader Singh has proved a passionately optimistic, humane guy to whom Canadians give the highest approval rating of any party leader.

The NDP leaped about three per cent after each debate. If we had 12 debates like U.S. Democrats, Singh would soon be prime minister.

I don’t want a Trudeau majority, Doctor, but I also don’t want Andrew “what-climate-crisis” Scheer as PM. How can I vote strategically?— Frieda People

Dear Frieda: If you could peek inside many voters’ brains, they’d be strategically thinking: “I’m disappointed with Trudeau and really like Singh, but what happens if I vote NDP, and Scheer becomes PM, backed by the Bloc?

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“Yikes! Maybe I’ll vote for the Marijuana Party … Ooops — we just legalized marijuana because of Trudeau.

“Hmmm … Rhinoceros Party?”

Remember: strategic voting is a tricky task. First, you have to calculate the number of people in your riding who voted last election, then subtract those who didn’t.

Next, you must add your candidate’s age and deduct his opponents’ weight. Finally, you add the numerical month of your zodiac sign, then choose the candidate whose cholesterol count comes closest to the total.

But be careful! One small mistake by too many strategic voters and the Marijuana Party runs Canada.

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I’ve been reading a lot about minority and coalition governments, Doctor, but I still don’t understand how anything works? —Ida-No-in-Ontario

Party leaders say they won’t form coalitions, but no one wants another quick election, so silent partnerships may create estranged bedfellows.

If Trudeau gets a few more seats than Scheer, or even a few less, he can ask the governor-general to let him form a government with the backing of smaller parties. Then the governor-general will ask the queen, who’ll say:

“Goodness yes, as long as you don’t Brexit! I’ve been counting on Canada as my safe haven!”

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If there is a minority government, the most likely political bedmates and scenarios are:

Scenario 1: The Liberals and the left-wing parties shack up together, unleashing Trudeau’s inner socialist and making Canada the Sweden of North America.

A Liberal-NDP-Green Party government makes marijuana use compulsory. Everyone gets unemployment insurance even if they’re not unemployed.

Canada adopts Quebec-style daycare and expands it to include night care.

After two years of Liberal-NDP government, Alberta separates.

Scenario 2: The Tories and Bloc become bedfellows and make Scheer PM. He’s already promised Quebec control of a single income tax form and no challenges to Bill 21 — but the Bloc will make whatever other demands it can dream up.

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Will Quebec get its own postal service? Will Environment Canada become Environnement-Québec, with its own distinct weather?

In exchange, Scheer will get his pipeline across Quebec, though it will only carry cannabis oil.

Uh-oh, You’re making me scared, Doctor. Should I be?

Nah, I’m just joshing around. Look at the world and things don’t look that bad here.

No one has tried to illegally suspend Canada’s Parliament like Britain’s PM did. No one has tried to buy off a foreign president to dig up dirt on opponents.

No one is trying to buy Greenland for a golf course — and we already have Bernie Sanders’s “Medicare-for-all.”

So stay calm and carry on. In the old day, Quebecers were urged to “vote early and vote often.” This time, with the race so tight, just:

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