Warning... this is now more of an adult site. If reading things about what gay men do sexually with one another bothers you - you should not read this blog. This blog is a reflection of my adventures. Some are fun, some not so pretty. I won't name names, or kiss and tell... but I will live to tell. And baby, trust me - I am gonna spill it all over your pretty little party dress. Enjoy.

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2013/10/30

TMI Questions: Happy Halloween!

Trick
or treat?

Smell
my feet.

Give me
something good to eat!

That
little elementary school yard cheer takes on a whole new meaning as an adult,
but the same could be said of Halloween in general.

Yes, it
used to be all about the sweets. And
dressing up.

Now, as
adults, it’s all about the booze. And
wearing as little as possible.

It’s
all in good fun. And the best part? Participation is not mandatory, nor is there
any pressure or need to gather at a family member’s house for a coma-inducing,
carb-filled meal.

Yeah,
at most, with this holiday, you’ll put yourself at risk for diabetes – scarfing
down all that candy. Or, if you’re one of those adults who consume
bodacious amounts of alcohol, perhaps a DUI.

In
either case… have fun out there, kids!

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much
Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions: Happy Halloween!

Trick or Treat?

Trick,
of course (need you ask?).

Provided
of course that trick can host, doesn’t mind a little dog hair, kisses, can put
up with my sloppy kisses, is adventuresome, is a little kinky, isn’t skittish,
knows what he wants, responds to what I want, has good hygiene, doesn’t live
with his mother, isn’t a total fashion queen, isn’t drenched in cologne, and
can put up with at least three of my eighteen documented personas for 20
minutes.

If he
can manage that, then all is good and somebody’s doorbell is going to get rung
at least once that night!

I can’t
do the treats. No candies for the man
who gives the handies! If the world
deems me too much as is, then just imagine me high on the pure white
stuff (I’m talkin’ sugar, sugah). And if
you really want to see me turn on a dime like a pirouetting Tasmanian Devil, then give me a cup of joe
and a plain, old-fashioned doughnut.
It’s frightening… like Ellen Burstyn’s character in ‘Requiem for a
Dream’.

Do you
hand out candy, make sure you're not home or pretend to not be home?

My yard
is fenced and gated and the gates all have locks on them.

Why? Because twelve years or so ago, at 9:00 pm on
Halloween night, a group of three adolescent boys banged on the door. They were a little old to be trick or
treating, but I still had some candy. I
gave it to them and they threw it back at me and told me they didn’t ‘want no damn candy’, they wanted money. I slammed the
door in there faces and the next day hired a contractor to fence my whole yard.

What's your favorite candy?

So, I
no longer get to eat it while in the presence of others (for their safety), but I do have my faves (and
will sneak some if I am staying home and not operating heavy machinery)(wait,
does a laptop or flat screen T.V. count?).

Faves
include:

Dark
Chocolate (but only one small piece or bite) – Abdallah, though Dove will do in
a pinch

Goldenberg’s
Peanut Chews – but only the dark chocolate ones

I have
others, but I can’t eat very much of it.
I love dark chocolate and nuts (great combo) (nothing sexual
intended). I love nuts in general,
though I’m slightly allergic to or developing an allergy to peanuts. I eat them and I immediately start to choke a
little. So… you would think that I would
not eat them, but… no.

Like
Joan Crawford once she had her hooks into a man, I simply love them too much.

How big of a holiday is Halloween for you?

Not so
much anymore. It seems to be a holiday
for small children and booze-happy adults.

As a
homeowner, I tried to get into the whole giving candy to children thing, but,
as mentioned earlier, you see what that got me.
Also, I don’t care much for kids anymore, so fawning over them because
their parents dressed them up as a princess?
Not my thing. I mean, I will
stoop to doing that if the opportunity is thrust upon me, but I’m just going
through the motions because that is what is expected of me. But, yeah, not big on kids or Halloween.

Adults
have ruined it for me, too. Too many
drunks in the bars and on the roads.
I’ll stay home, thank you. I no
longer know anyone who throws parties, let alone a Halloween party. That must be something we cycle through as
adults – giving and going to parties. I
don’t miss it. There was always a lot of
anxiety associated with going or giving.

Hmm. I’m becoming a hermit.

And I’m
frequently crabby.

Does
that make me a hermit crab?

Sexy costume or scary?

Neither.

Though
I like the idea of doing sexy. I might
be able to pull something like that off now, but only if I wear a full face
mask. Ugly people in sexy costumes? Well, that’s an entirely different kind of
horror, now isn’t it?

No, if
I do sexy, I would want it to be in leather.
I doubt I would ever look as good as the men in my favorite pics, but I’d want
to do it anyway, just to so I could say that I did it. It would make me feel brave. And that’s what costumes are supposed to be
all about, am I right? Stepping outside
of your comfort zone, pretending to be something or someone you are not for a
whole night?

There were
a couple of years that I was into dressing up, mainly because I was in a
relationship at the time and the dude wanted to dress up, or I was running
around with a group of friends who wanted to.
Nothing like peer pressure to spur one to engage in the smearing on of the
greasepaint. As an adult, it would seem
that my costumes always morphed into whatever was easily accessible. I might start out with an idea, but end up settling
for the culmination of the pursuit of said idea.

In
other words, a lack of planning on my part, due to lack of time, laziness, or
apathy, resulted in some very odd, not terrifically clever, costumes.

I once
went as Captain Stubing from ‘The Love Boat’ only because I had a white tux,
white dress shoes, and happened on a white captain’s hat. They were all leftovers from this musical
version of ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ that I did in summerstock one
year. The production company stiffed me on one of my paychecks, so I took my costumes in retaliation. They definitely got the better end of that deal. Yes. Theater. Lovely, lovely theater.

And that’s how most of my costumes
used to come about. But not anymore.

Last
year I went as a bag of leaves.

Yeah. Don’t ask.

This
year I am pinning a note to my shirt that reads… “Due to the recent government
shutdown, there will be no Halloween costume this year. Please send inquiries and comments to Ted
Cruz @ www.cruz.senate.gov/contact.cfm. Thank you.”

Bonus

Ever have Halloween Sex while staying in
costume/character?

Hmmm. ‘Halloween Sex’. Does that involve candy? Is that how piñatas are born? Stuffing all that candy up in there – grunt –
grunt? What an interesting delivery
system. There was a time when I might have considered that a smart career move - pinata stuffer.

I love
role play. Adore it. So staying in character is old hat for
me. But that has nothing to do with
Halloween.

I once
fucked a dude in a public restroom who was dressed as a cat. I wasn’t in costume. And, come to think of it, that wasn’t
Halloween. Hmm. His costume had a nylon zipper under his tail, right up his butt
crack. Made for easy access.

6 comments:

Well late tomorrow night I will have two ricks coming over and the treat will be our cocks cumming over each other! Candy? I not much of a sweet eater, but the same, I will indulge in some chocolate here and there. I leave a basket of candy outside my door and the kids can take what they want, as I only get about 20. Halloween is my favorite holiday and I always most likely have a party to go to. This year it's Catwoman! It's always a drag or drag period piece with me, but one year I'm going to show up in a tight cops uniform and throw everybody off. Sex, no not in costume but it amazes me at the guys who want to have sex with the drag still on. Can't do it.

Haven't dressed for Halloween since getting laid off from my job. The last two costumes: A knife stuck into a box cereal (red ink smeared around the knife) that I carried around. Yeah, I was a Cereal Killer. (Go ahead and groan) The next year I was dressed as a Christmas Elf - only because I had the costume from doing the David Sedaris play.Fav candy: Dark chocolate Turtles.