9 November 2011

Nine to five yeah they got you where they want to

Today's been trying to the extreme. A trial my team have a big part of was declared a mistrial today, because the accused's friends have been threatening jury members and witnesses. So that's just masses of time and money wasted, and it'll now go to retrial at some points, probably with fewer witnesses now wondering if it's worth testifying.

Happily I came home to Danger having cooked a lovely meal, which made my day infinitely better. Well, just coming home to him does that anyway, but with dinner ready it's even better.

Tink's turn today.

Tink:

If you could go back in time to give yourself advice, when would you go back to and what advice would you give?

Would you ever let Sally make an actual guest post, as opposed to her popping on when you've forgotten to log off?

Has work settled down on the 'he's dating a guy' thing?

So, quick ones first. I don't think Sal would be interested in doing a guest post, really. I don't know. I suppose I might. No reason not to.

Advice to myself: Don't smoke.

I was twelve the first time I smoked a cigarette. By the time I was 14 I was 'a smoker' - as in, did it every day. At fifteen I'd get through a pack a day, and kept that up (two packs on bad days) until I was 45.

It made me ill. It made me smell. It made me irritable when I didn't have any fags. It made my sense of taste die a death. In the past few years, once you couldn't smoke indoors, it meant nights in the pub were actually nights outside the pub. It made me poor.

The first time I ever spoke to Bryan was to ask him for a light. Look where that got me.

It didn't make me cool, grown up or attractive.

So there we go. Don't do it. If you do do it, try and stop. If you can't stop, try and cut down.

Work has settled, yes. I'm old news now. I'm sure most of the people there don't want to think about me dating at all, let alone dating a bloke.

There's been the odd thing that...I don't know. There's just been the odd thing. Met LGBT society stuff in my in tray. A rainbow sticker on my door. Someone vandalising my mugshot. The sort of stuff that if someone wanted to take issue with, they could. But I didn't. People get bored, it stops being fun for them if you ignore it and they don't get any entertainment.

Things I take a bit more seriously - but sort of rely on Sal or other team members to tell me - is when I've been out on stakeouts with some of the newer team members they've had grief about 'spending the night with the poof' and things. Asking what we got up to. That does bother me - not because it's me, but because that's not an attitude I tolerate in my team, or anywhere else. Especially on the force. Same goes for when a male and female team member are working together and people make that sort of implication. We deal with victims of crime - all sorts of crime - and having that sort of prejudice doesn't help anyone.

And then there's been the odd troll on here. I haven't really got time for anyone who posts anonymously like that. Must lead pretty sad empty lives if that's all the entertainment they can find for themselves.

What I actually find harder is the people who are all happy and chummy and ask if they should buy a hat for the wedding and that sort of stuff. I know they're just being friendly but...yeah, I feel awkward in those situations.

Another great question and answer. I'm once again struck by your determination that not just you, but your whole team do the best possible job, in what aren't ever easy circumstances and what at times, like today, must make you wonder whether it's worth it.

You smoked twenty a day for thirty years? I'm even more impressed that you've managed to quit.

I'm glad to hear that you don't tolerate people making insinuations in your team. I've been on the receiving end of that kind of crap, and it's no fun at all (especially because any kind of denial is seen as confirmation).

It's a shame you're still taking minor shit though; I can see how you prefer to ignore it. Low level crap, but still harassment of a sort. And sometimes well-meaning people can be a pain :-p

Given that you both tell us we're lovely (although seriously, I only know one other person who's ever described me that way, and they barely knew me) does any of the stuff we say on here bother you?

I live in a fairly large city and I'm always surprise by the amount of out there homophobia you manage to find in London nowadays. I suppose the kind of job you have is to blame but I hope things are better everywhere else in the city.

RR - I did. I'm just worried about our witnesses. About their safety and the fact they may now refuse to testify.

Anon - I don't feel like I find a lot! But yes, half the homophobia I face isn't even from people who know me. Just people who use homophobic insults to everyone. As for inside the force...I'm always surprised by the casual racism, too. Nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but there's still an undercurrent.

Hsavinien - yes, there's my team - not as large as I'd like it to be, and then we work closely with others MITs and other teams from Sapphire, Trident, and others.

Nameless - i did cut down first. So I suppose for the last year or two I really tried not to smoke more than ten a day, then five...then none. i didn't just quit cold turkey from 20 to nil. And I used patches for months and m onths.

The thing about well meaning people is it's harder to know what to do. Outright insults are far easier!

You lot are all right though. It did used to make me feel uncomfortable, but...well, I think I'm getting a bit better at accepting compliments. Danger's helping with that one, as are all of you. I'm just not very used to it all.

That's what makes racism/homophobia/mysogeny so insidious-- some otherwise well-meaning people who don't understand how their comments or views fall into those categories. Qnd it's not like they're easy topics to discuss. Someone's bound to get hurt.

I should point out that I don't regret being out at work at all. It's nice to be able to talk to people like Sal, for John and the boys to visit, that sort of thing. That far outweighs the odd but of other stuff.

Well done on the smoking, Lestrade. I've smoked 10-12 a day since I was 16 or so (I'm now 40). I've tried to quit a few times. Managed 3 months off after the patches, but unfortunately started up again. (My problem being that I really *like* smoking, so it's hard to stay away!) Even more unfortunately, I've developed a bad allergy to the adhesive in the patches and they leave burns on my skin. Real shame, a they're a great way to wean off nicotine.

I hope Sherlock's having fun with his violin-- or at least that he's better at it than I was at that age. My violin playing sort of sounded like someone doing unspeakable things to a cat (I've since switched to the harp, which is much more tuneful even if you're not very good at it).

Sherlock, you might be interested in listening to Paul Dateh on Youtube, who does violin covers of pop songs. They're really fun and catchy.

I know I haven't been around for a while, but I really enjoyed catching up on both of your daily posts. You both have a real gift for telling stories and relating your experiences in a vary accessible way.