Pages

Monday, 24 February 2014

You - but better!

Hands up if you're glad Spring is on its way. The new season always brings an end to long, dark nights, post-Xmas credit card bills and miserable weather (please!) and instead ushers in a certain hope and new found energy. But hang on, what happened to those New Year Resolutions you made - a new job for 2014, a bikini body by Summer and a perfect, happy home that nurtures and inspires the entire family? Ah, just as I suspected you've forgotten about your resolve to eat well, go to bed early and write that novel already. Maybe next year?

If you find yourself spending every January 1st making the same old resolutions over and over again you're not alone. In fact it's a trap that the majority of us fall into repeatedly - and not just when a new year beckons, but every time we try to make a positive change in our lives. Perhaps you'd like a career change, maybe you want to move on from a failed relationship or finally want to give up smoking? But somehow, something always stands in your way and you find yourself failing again - or maybe not even starting.

But imagine if you were in control? And that you could visualise and achieve the life you wanted to live, without any limits. Doesn't that open up an entire world of possibilities? And wouldn't that make you one hundred times happier? And imagine if that lifestyle was ongoing - and that each goal you set yourself was accompanied by a plan of action and smaller steps to help you to be successful. Wow! Just wow!

Which is the sort of feeling you get after you leave a life coaching session with Chloe Tasch from Be Your Best You. I was lucky enough to be included in a recent workshop Chloe ran, which tackled the positive changes (as opposed to those doomed New Year Resolutions) the participants wanted to make. And it definitely left its participants on a high - full of inspiration - and perhaps more importantly - with the tools to achieve their goals.

The workshop I attended, was held in Chloe's home, had 6 participants, and lasted from 9.30 to 3pm. It was informal, and we had a several breaks, including a lovely lunch prepared by Chloe. Sometimes we worked as a group, other times in pairs - and some of our work was carried out alone. I should add that what is discussed at a session is confidential, and the participants are made aware of that, and that problems or issues can be shared or not, as you prefer. Oh, and be prepared to make some new friends too!

Since life coaching is a forward looking process, the first stage was to identify where exactly we wanted to be in life - the end goal we had in mind. We used a simple chart to identify our satisfaction with a variety of areas of life - everything from work, health, money and relationships. For me, this was where the shock really kicked in - areas that I hadn't even considered would be of interest to the day were quite clearly the ones that I needed to work on. I had unwittingly, come along to the workshop with some preconceived ideas about what I wanted to get from it - and already I was learning other aspects of my life were sticking points.

After discussing our goals, we discussed our 'limiting beliefs' - the ways we have of thinking that hold us back in life and prevent us from succeeding - perhaps the very reason we are always re-starting a diet or giving up on new interests. Often we indulge in negative chatter, phrasing things in a manner that focusses on what we can't do. Choosing your response to ideas and plans you have puts you in control - and positive affirmations and simply re-framing the way that you 'talk to yourself' about your abilities gives you a far better chance of success.

Setting our goals was also an important part of the day - and Chloe taught us how to set specific, realistic and achievable ones, if necessary breaking them down. Once these goals were identified we worked on actions that would help us achieve them. The importance of re-visiting our goals - and perhaps even adjusting them - as we achieved our success was also stressed. Celebrating our success was also recommended.

The final part of the day focussed on making a vision board - a collection of 'heart-thumping' images and words (cut from magazines or brought to the session with us) that reached and inspired us and that would help keep our goals in mind. The vision board serves as a permanent reminder of the day, the goals you have set yourself and the actions you will take to achieve your goals. This picture can be pinned up on your wall or maybe even photographed and stored as your wallpaper on your laptop or smartphone, because you will need to see it often and use it to maintain the motivation and inspiration experienced at the coaching session.

It would be an understatement to say the workshop with Chloe was eye-opening. I've always considered myself quite 'in tune' with my inner self - and think I'm quite determined when I set myself a goal. And yet, I learnt so much about making goals more achievable - and how I still set limits with negative words and thoughts. It doesn't take a genius to see that a good life coach can help you draw a map that takes you where you want to be in life.

An initial chat/session with Chloe is free of charge and without obligation. She offers one to one coaching and tailored group sessions.

If you've come to a bit of a sudden halt after having children, or have realised that you've spent so much time ensuring they are nurtured that your own goals have been lost along the way, it might be time to consider a life coaching session. Alternatively, maybe a significant birthday has thrown you into turmoil or the thought of returning to work after maternity leave has made you realise you are looking for something different? Whatever your reasons, if you want to be a happier, healthier version of you I really recommend Chloe!

What do you think? Would you try life coaching - and do you feel it's time to re-evaluate your life? Is it a natural phase parents go through after the 'baby fog' has cleared? Have you made the same resolutions time and time again - or do you know where you want to be in a year or five years time? Let me know in the comment box below.

16 comments:

Ah yes! Fabulous....I would certainly give it a go. I was thinking back to the time when I was a school girl and how 'Careers Advice' was simply non-existent or inadequately informed. I'm now at a stage in my life where I want to revisit and re-evaluate but not really sure how to go about it.....A life coach sounds the perfect solution. I've always had the feeling that I've been following everyone else's advice, doing what was expected of me, not really considering if that's what I wanted to do in the first place...Time to turn everything on its head?

Deciding how you want to spend your life when you are a young teen seems pretty nonsensical anyway! Obviously we change, and the world around us changes too, what once inspired us might not always do so. I admit I was a little cynical, but life coaching has loads to offer! Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

I too think I am pretty determined and once I set myself a goal will know exactly how to achieve it and by when. But what your piece has made me think about is the goals that I set in the first place.....maybe the reason why I do achieve them is because I set 'easy win' ones - I don't think about my life as a whole and the bigger picture.Reading this has made me realise that there are techniques which you can apply to help understand what that bigger picture might be. What do I really want out of my life?Its definitely caught my interest and I'll be pursuing it further. Thanks Vanessa!

The concept of limiting beliefs was an eye-opener - I think we probably get a bit stuck in our ways - believing that we are a 'certain type of person' with skills and interests to match. And yes, maybe I was ignoring some things that needed attention and (eek!) work. It's hard to believe what I took from just one day with Chloe, so I really can't recommend it enough. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Great post, Vanessa. It sounds like a wonderful day. I have met people who swear by the vision boards. Just by imagining their future vision, their dreams come to pass. This is definitely worth doing. Thank you so much for sharing what sounds like a very thought-provoking day.

I think the perspective a life coach can give you is valuable because otherwise you would be taking advice from someone that already has a pre-set opinion of your skills, strengths and personality. It is amazing what you can achieve if you believe you can. Thank you for commenting.

This is a great idea, and would love to go to a similar gathering here in the States. I agree with Diana. The dreams and ambitions I had in college and through to my 30's (pre-motherhood) have since changed, been achieved, forgotten, etc. Having a child shifted everything -- including 90% of my attention onto one lovely little person -- I really do need to bring some focus back onto myself, and realize what will make the me of today, rather than the me of 1998, happy. Thanks for the inspiration, V!

Maybe it's a mid-life crisis thing but I just feel I have so much life left to live that I'm keen not to just tread water for decades! This post has been really popular and I'm so glad it's not just me that finds this sort of thing interesting & inspiring! Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Hi thanks for linking up to #HealthFitnessFriday I am just about sticking to my New Years resolutions by the skin of my teeth! I am determined to reach my goals but lack the willpower to do so sometimes. This life coaching sounds like the way forward :-) Good luck with your goals lovely x

Looking after kids can be draining, which makes looking after yourself harder definitely. I'd recommend a life coach, using positive affirmations and vision boards to help you stay on track. Even if one day goes off track, I like to tap my inner Scarlett O'Hara & say (in a melodramatic voice) 'tomorrow is another day...'! Good luck x

I've stuck to my New Year's resolutions - mainly because I didn't make any! But actually that was intentional. I don't want to wait for a new year to bring on change, if I see something that needs changing I try to motivate myself to do it sooner rather than later. My only goal for this year was to write a sequel to my novel and I'm about 25% done, so I'm happy with that. I'm stuck on bed rest so I can't do much else, so that helps. Once the baby arrives, I'll have a whole new set of goals - mainly getting back in shape - and I'll definitely need help with that!

That sounds like the right attitude to take - why wait until Jan 1st to make a positive change! What's the working title of your next novel - or is a secret? And is it still set in Paris? Take care & thanks for commenting.

About Me

With 20 years experience in publishing, Vanessa has happily moved from hot metal to the digital domain. While having worked extensively in trade and consumer magazines, Vanessa first worked on electronic content during three years spent in Hong Kong.

Upon returning to the UK, Vanessa specialised in the Health sector, setting up Netdoctor.co.uk and providing health content to numerous other sites including Hangbag.com and Virgin. She went on to consult for high-end agencies such as Publicis Blueprint and to freelance in medical education/communications.