I figured it out some time ago and It didn't take much investigating. All it really took was a good look at my peripheral. See I'm in love with love. I love a monogamous relationship and I admire those that have been able to commit to a relationship that takes this form (in whatever shape). Be it through marriage, living with someone or having a monogamous relationship in separate homes... it takes all kinds of work to stay invested.

As women, being the significant other after fully committing to a relationship can be sobering. If it's real and you truly commit to someone with nothing less than a sincere love... you grow to understand them overtime. You accept each other for all the good and the not so great. With that comes a sense of comfort. You'll be inclined to farting in front of your mate as much you snuggle next to them in bed. But the one thing I noticed, amongst the successful doting couples in my circle of friends and family...getting too comfortable isn't an option. You have a role to fulfill in various capacities. You confide in each other and rely on one another to the point your goals intertwine. You become each others therapists, cheerleaders, accountants and spiritual advisors. But the key to any successful long term commitment relationship is never slipping, case in point my married mistress theory.

In toxic situations, I've seen women and men let themselves totally go and not to anyone's benefit. Cohabitating gives some a sense of entitlement and skewed belief system that "now since were married, you're now my bitch and I run the show muthafucka". That is a toxic approach to long term love and success with your mate. To be a successful mate and maintain a loving progressive marriage... you gotta embrace the ways of a mistress. Yes, I said it. You can't sit there and expect intimacy on various levels to maintain itself. The sincerely successful loving partnerships stem from each partner always embracing girlfriend/mistress like tendencies within the confines of monogamy. Mistresses are sought out by some because they're desirable. Once you transfer that into your wifehood it empowers your bond with your mate. My theory is if you invest in acting like a mistress, loving your spouse like a mistress and putting it down in the bedroom like a mistress ...they're less inclined to go out and get a goddamn mistress. Traipsing around the house in a stained nightgown half the day, with frequent braless tittay scratches while encouraging petty debates over bills and friends does not a mistress make. Men specifically seek relationships with mistresses because these women encompass their fantasy. It's not solely sexual, but usually the mistress is a reflection of what that person innately desires. So what do wives and hubbies look like who incorporate the mistress persona into their own? like themselves ...but enhanced. Marriages that I absolutely adore model the mistress-like behaviors into their everyday! What does that usually entail...?

Waking up and putting your best physical self forward. Glam up or make sure you keep yourself desirable to your mate and your self goddamn it!

they usually behave like they just started dating. Monogamy and long term commitment isn't a death sentence to your fucking social life if anything it should be both of your prime! laugh, love and enjoy each other and do all the fabulous things you did when you first fell in love or at least the things a mistress would do with their attached Mister or Madame. Go dancing, try new things consistently and take chance hand in hand.

keep it cute, light and fun more often than not! Don't let the routine of life get in the way of enjoying your mate through and through. Text each other randomly complimenting one another, celebrate your milestones without notice and keep it fresh!

and of course the most obvious way to stay a desirable mistress is keep it fabfuckintastic in the bedroom. Embrace all the taboo that comes with being a mistress! Have multiple one night stand like sex with your mate! Leave all inhibitions at the door and do what most wives/hubbies stereotypically don't in bed. In other words, have unadulterated sensually explicit sex! And don't apologize to your neighbors and make sure (if kids are in apart of the family make up - they're out of earshot and with an amazing sitter).

When I get to the milestone of committing to my future Mr. Right, you best believe I'm not going to sway from being the mistress forever and always. I value what the bond of love brings... amazing memories, thoughtful intentions and life changing milestones. With that comes a life time dedication of not being a hot undesirable mess and letting marriage falling into a shit show... so intend on being a wife that is a married mistress to the right Mister.