Most Helpful Guy

Well I'm not a pervert and am very committed. I'm only interested in being with one girl. It sounds like you've only dated guys that want to pursue multiple women. There are a lot guys that would like to be in a committed relationship. Your boyfriend is wrong.

Of course there are! Honestly, there are. Your boyfriend may think that's not true based on what he's seen from his friends and tv but guys like me aren't only monogamous, I don't feel a desire for multiple women.

Is that really the case opinion owner.. then why was he so into other women and then I see the way he talks to female coworkers boy is he really and i mean really friendly with them even i dont get that nice treatment... like he yells at me for silly things

He may be different. He's probably trying to build a good relationship with them and may be acting extra nice to get influence he wants. If he yells at you he's probably angry. He would probably yell at them if he was mad as well but I also bet he doesn't want them to not like him so he may put more effort into how he treats them.

What Guys Said 30

well, you need to stop dating jerks and actually give the nice guys a chance, its time you start doing so, so you won't end up being 30 and still single. Don't generalize all men just because you pick the wrong men. It's time you stop falling for the bad boy and start looking at a guy that can offer you something. The guy is wrong for actively flirting with other girls but i dont see what's wrong with looking im sure you look at other guys. but the flirting does raise a red flag

@AverageJane but there are rich guys that are unfaithful just as there are poor guys that are. There are whte guys that are unfaithful just like there are black men that are. There are old guys that are unfaithful just like there are young guys that are.

I am sorry for this comment I made because I know that no one's race/gender/age/social class does not determine an attitude or action. This is what most people have trouble with about generalization. You seem to have the best guy opinion that's posted here.

i think its about giving the nice guy a chance and stop falling for the bad boys period!!! Lets take this example; Bruce is a has been quarterback is over 6 foot, has the bad boy image but cheats on his girlfriends, treats them terribly etc. Tommy is a smart guy, graduated with honors, intellectual probably likely to get a good job, good looking but not a 6footer, he treats women with respect and could make an excellent boyfriend. Unfortunately most women will ignore Tommy and go with Bruce because of certain shallow things like height or the fact that he use to be a football player etc. Unfortunately because of their experiences with men like bruce the will label all men jerks even though they didn't give Tommy a chance. This is terrible and many women will deny it, and the asker will deny it, but this is the truth. Now fortunately for Tommy he will find a quality woman while the women who ignored him will end up like the asker thinking all men are jerks or will end up bitter towards

Look, I know it looks like there are only assholes out there, but that's only because you'r surrounded by them. You just have to try a different kind of guy, don't be fooled by his looks, get to know a guy before you invest yourself in a relationship with him, because if you rush into something with the wrong kind of guy, your gonna regret it. But I know there are good guys out there. I know because I'm one. I'm completely disgusted by the idea of cheating, or even flirting with another woman. So they do exist, don't give up on us :P

Really though... You want to compare the wandering eyes of men to the pandering everything of women?

Ballsy for sure, but not necessarily informed

Men are visual beings, we process thought in terms of visuals/pictures. Women are more thoughtful, more considered and entirely more deliberate... When a women cheats on her man, that shit is over like immediately, because we know you didn't just act or even react... It was planned

I agree that a man idolising the female body and constantly "checking out" other women, especially when he's with his partner is unacceptable and there can be no valid excuse if this is the case.

Although it is only fair to bare in mind that there are myriad reasons to look at another human being and even if the "looker" himself were to disclose fully and explain exactly what specifically they're actually looking at an in what exact context they're doing so, it is almost impossible to convey a persons inner most feelings and motivations, even to someone that has a deep and intimate knowledge and appreciation for them.

You should take into account that men would far more often than not, prefer to look like a misogynist, sex driven, chauvinist pig which is fairly typical and he can still save face in front of other men, than to openly and honestly talk about the regret and deep personal resentment he feels every day.

is that true? is that why men always look at me at the gym and most of the time drive me to want to kill myself because no matter what i wear i seem to attract the eyes of men while i see other women wearing much more provocative shit not even being stared at.. its really irritating

I can't speak for others, I only have my own personal perspective and as such I can only see the world accordingly.

It does seem though that you're an attractive 20 something year old young lady and it's only reasonable to expect that the opposite, balancing side will "check you out". This is not fundamentally insulting on the face of it and is quite a natural part of life. You should bare in mind that most men, no matter how awkwardly they may come across, are genuinely looking for the future mother of their children and the woman that will be their partner in life, not least of which to raise the aforementioned children into responsible, respectable, contributing members of society.

Yes men can be, and often are, vulgar to the point of distaste, this is pretty much because the brain in our "little guy" down stairs, if often more awake than the brain up stairs. This is also not intended as an insult and as unappealing as it materialises to be, it is ultimately meant as complimentary

I know it is meant to be a compliment but I seriously get offended when men pay attention to me. I get the sense they are saying I am not worth enough to left to my own devices to accomplish my career and learning goals. I feel they are sending me the message I am just good to be stared at but nothing else.

I must be honest, I'm actually kind of glad you brought this angle up...

It's a contentious issue these days and one that's particularly difficult to justify reasonably, especially to a woman that a man finds attractive and wants to get to know.

Men look at women because they're beautiful, yes... Thoughts of sex do indeed come up, why wouldn't they? Yes men do tend to fixate a little from time to time on specific things, take boobs as a prime example. But the fact is, we just like you, it's as simple as that.

Thinking that we are of the opinion that all you're good for is to look at and perv over is a misunderstanding. Think of it like this...

When a polite man opens a door for a lady it doesn't, by any stretch of the wildest imagination, suggest that the man thinks that the lady is incapable of opening the door for herself, rather that the man values the woman and knows exactly how important she is and would like to do something nice for her, a simple gesture in this case...

The national debt is over 14 trillion. Currently, our welfare system is propping up a lifestyle of being a single mom, with child support and a hundred types of welfare.

Also consider that as single motherhood becomes more popular, men not marrying does as well, and single men are dirt poor on average compared to married men... because if you don't have to support 4 people, you don't have to work like a slave.

What happens when the tax base keeps dropping and the debt keeps rising and the baby mammas keep needing more cash?

The thing crashes. And we're back to the 40's, when men and women actually committed to each other.

You know and experience this world only through the perceptions that you create. You have the ability to choose how you perceive any event in your life, and you exercise this power of choice in every circumstance, every day of your life. No matter what the situation, you choose your reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event.

We all view the world through individual filters, which influence the interpretations we give events, how we respond, and how we are responded to. Be aware of the factors that influence the way you see the world, so you can compensate for them and react against them. If you continue to view the world through a filter created by past events, then you are allowing your past to control and dictate both your present and your future.

Filters are made up of fixed beliefs, negative ideas that have become entrenched in your thinking. They are dangerous because if you treat them as fact, you will not seek, receive or process new information, which undermines your plans for change. If you "shake up" your belief system by challenging these views and testing their validity, the freshness of your perspective can be startling.

You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.

If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling — and then get their way — you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.

Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.

You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations.

Don't play the role of victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no healing, and no victory. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you've been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of yourself now

I've had a lot of nightmare experiences with women , yet I still remain OK towards women , pleasant , will still crack my deadpan jokes , but keep a bit of distance... It's not fair to heap hate on those that do not deserve this. It's easy to fall into negative thought patterns , as it is the path of least resistance mentally , work on yourself & try to remain positive , I do appreciate this can be hard , people in general can be testing to deal with.

First off... no one asked you to commit... you (women) WANT to commit. Thats your nature, and ours is to spread "seed" wherever we can. A man staying committed in a situation where there are options is like someone fighting against nature. Its extremely hard to win, but we try anyway and you women don't make it easy either.

well it if its nature then why do men eventually commit? my question is why do we have to try so hard to make men commit to us. Why can't we be just like fuck it but then that would upset our mothers , society and we would just end up being lonely especially after our 30s because we cannot attract any man anymore and we are not married. At least if we are married we know this guy will stick around but if we are single way past 30 then its kind of too late especially if men are just attracted to hot women and would rather invest time in hot women than average women like me whos idea of a good time is a good run and intense workouts.

Why commit? BECAUSE of women. Also, because of civilization. (and my own conspiracy theory, population control). Remember roman times? that shit didn't matter. Its not that men can't commit, its that women still try to force more even though we fight an already intense battle with our nature. You just said it yourself "why do we have to try so hard to MAKE men commit.." to MAKE what? we are doing the making Already... just play your part.Why don't you fight your committing nature and just become completely flamboyant and see how that makes you feel in the end... horrible, right? Thats what we feel when we have to fight our nature to be committed and we look to this person that we are going against our nature for, we look to them for strength and happiness and usually get a needy, naggy, selfish AND greedy complainant that just doesn't understand what is going on because all they want is what they want. Guys have the commitment handled.. most women make it hard to stay that way.

wow.. for once on GaG i was actually agreed with? lol...Water is natural... but have you ever tried cupping some with your hands and not a single drop leaked out. Its bound to show at some point... I said in my previous comment "we look to them for strength and happiness and usually get..." When it leaks like that, rather than nag him, try understanding...Men will look and flirt... but you know something... any man who does that and then comes back to you has done amazingly. but instead of many women accepting that she got her man back and his nature didn't take over, they complain instead, and he starts thinking about WHY he even came back to you when his "flirting" was going in a much better way. and then you push him away without knowing it and next thing you know, we start hearing cheating stories. Guys are simple... they all want to make their women happy... buy women Insist on making that harder than it should be.

we feel the same way too darling. Sadly... we need each other... guys think women are stupid, women think guys are stupid (which is true... said so earlier) but in the end... we both complement each other... nature is the true culprit here.

Absolutely, she wonders why there aren't any nice guys, well there are she just rejectes them and picks the jocky looking assholes. I am not bitter, I myself am a good looking guy that has no problems dating, but I ain't a jerk and I dont understand why many girls like jerks, maybe it's masochistic thing

@Eric644 It's because those men typically are confident, say the right things and do the right things at the right times, they are master manipulators and I don't blame women for falling for them but if a woman continues to make bad choices and then starts blaming all men then well she's being stupid.

You take the rough with the smooth. Men see stacks of faults in all women as well but we've got an understanding that no one is perfect. There's no right and wrong in life just the proper perspective. Nature gave men a sex drive to keep the species going. It's your job to keep your man looking only at you.

You might have the wrong man. Why do you think people sleep around. We're like pool balls looking for the proper pocket. It's narrow minded to think everybody can be shaped to your specifications. Everybody and I mean everybody is different. Why don't women get that? It's seems like a very arrogant point of view to me. It's more like trying every ride out in the fare until you find the one you like. You don't go to the manager and demand he rebuilds the first ride you get on until you enjoy it do you? That's life. You can't reshape a man. He is who he is. Like him or leave him

Honey it's your life. Do whatever you want. You can date who you want. Make love to whomever you want. Your guts are your subconscious telling you something. If you get a bad feeling its just that telling your concious mind you need to pay attention to something important. Don't make a template of a perfect life then try and live up to it. That's insanity. You'll always fall short of your own mark. Then you'll feel worthless and depressed every moment your alive. Instead congratulate yourself on every little step forward you take in life. They say the unknown is scary but it's also very exiting. I left the country at 15 with 100 quid in my pocket my dad loaned me. No job no destination in mind. Just a pair as big as watermelons and an unshakeable faith in myself. By the next week I had a beautiful girlfriend, a job and a group of pals. You need to do what's right for you. Your the only one that matters in your life

Optimistic owner I commit to my career but the reason I want to run away from spending too much over time at work it being office or retail is I get harassed by my men bosses and coworkers and to be honest I get very comfortable. I was working at Walgreen Corporate and two older men kept making sexual comments to me every day I went in to work. I complained to their boss but he wouldn't do anything because he is a man and supports men and wouldn't fire men for some stupid women.. I did not take it to HR because I was scared and they scared me pretty bad. I dressed very conservatively but did not prevent them from harassing me and one of them was married and the other over 40 years old.. another instant of being harassed at work was by coworkers at every single job I have had up to date where men chased me even when I claimed that I had a boyfriend and would you leave me alone and I would not go out on a date. Then right now I work at a mall and guess what? harassment too

Because you have bad taste. I've met plenty of good men. If you can't find good men it's because you're either surrounding yourselves with the bad ones, you have unrealistic expectations or you're ignoring the good ones around you.

I failed out of college in large part to help a friend of mine pass. She was born with autism and developed schizophrenia as a young child. Her parents consisted of a child molester and a narcissist. Her sister tried to murder her and she was raped by her best friend. I saw in her a lot of potential, she was smart and determined. She was going through a rough patch (which says something with that kind of background) and her life was spiraling out of control. As she became more stressed her mental capacities began to degrade and it became harder and harder for her to learn. I stayed with her for hours at a time, at times helping tutor her until the sun rose. And when I wasn't tutoring her I was supporting her as a friend. I made myself the person she could count on whenever she needed help with anything. I failed, she passed barely. But it was enough of a victory that it helped her rebound. She graduated this month.

Her entire life she was told that she wasn't good enough. When she went to college she was told that college wasn't for people like her. I was able to help her prove them wrong and I'll be honest I probably prevented her from killing herself.

So I take offence when you say that there are no good guys out there. You're not looking hard enough. That's the end of the discussion.

I got upset because I do not want my man to go on AFF to check out other women. One it makes me feel that I am not hot in bed and two it makes me really think about ever being that hot again to men in bed like I was when I was younger.

I am not narrow minded all I see is those men that just cheat on their wives and my boyfriend. I had a married man ask me out and older men hit on men when they are married. If I got to a bar Ill get hit on by a married older man. I am not generalizing but I am telling you what I see. I see men that see options and dont want to commit. In fact my own dad and my sisters husband did something very similar My sister's husband cheated on her and my dad left my mom to go live his bachelor life.

stop falling for the bad boys!!! There are a bunch of nice guys that you might have ignored because they weren't bad boy material for you. I suggest you start going for the more sophisticated , intellectual, and ambitious guys or the "good looking nerd"

@plaisirdamour my apologies, but many women do blow off the nice guys, you have to admit that. luckily for me im confident compared to other nice guys and im not so bad looking (thats what im told). But you have to admit, nice men are blown off for the cool looking guy that manipulates them

You sure you two are exclusive and it's not just you calling him your boyfriend while he's just 'seeing' you? Your relationship sounds like one of those 'My girl's been with me for 2 years, whereas I've been with her for 4 months' sort of relationships.

Everybody looks at other people when they're in a relationship. You don't suddenly stop being sexually attracted to people because you're in a relationship. Anybody who says otherwise is a liar. The important thing is that you don't cheat.

Well you can also give the nice guys a chance and stop falling for bad boys, you should do it now before it is too late because by the time you are 30 something and finally decide to give the nice guys you overlooked a chance, they will not give you a chance because they will feel like "now that she is getting old and is desperate now she is giving me the time of day... Um nah, I'll just keep on dating younger girls"

by the way my boyfriend is not rich and does not have a degree. i have a degree and i was supposed to be rich but I never was able to land a full time accounting job with my accounting degree just temporary assignments through agencies.

you need to. drugs are not something to mess around with. you think it's bad now? wait til you have a kid with this fool... kid's life will be a living hell... assuming he/she doesn't die in foster care. if he is unwilling to give those vices up, you need to get away... if ya don't, he WILL drag you down with him.

Yes it happens, but this type of behavior is more common in uneducated men. You just have to find a man that is educated and has his head screwed on. Who knows , mr right might have been a man that you blew off.

Agree!!! I'm not necessarily a religious or monogamous guy, but if I'm in a relationship with a woman, I would never cheat on her. We all need to draw the line somewhere, there is a difference between being single and having casual sex and being in a relationship. Once you are in a relationship, you have made a commitment to that one person.

well you are right not all women are faithful but I dont think women are as dirty as men when it comes to cheating. I think women's idea of being unfaithful to men is talking to other guys or thats guys idea of it. I think men take it too far by going on sex websites and talking to hookers etc...

What Girls Said 17

Change "we" to "I"; you're speaking for yourself here. There are plenty of males out there that are capable of committing to a monogamous relationship with a female and being perfectly content. If your man gets bored and go off to other girls, then it's just not a relationship that's gonna work. But if this happens, you shouldn't go off and blast all men everywhere because of your experience because not all men are like that. Get your shit together, dust yourself off, and avoid that kind of guy next time.

Well I obviously do not know if good men exist. You are talking to a woman who was once in a relationship with a man who made her pay for all the dates and tried to get her to buy him a car. I am just saying I think I am worthy but I do not think i will ever get married or find a man and will end up lonely if I refuse bad men.

The man I loved and gave my virginity to, or pressured me into giving in, was cheating on me with multiple women.He denied it, begged for me back, my dumbass forgave him, and he did it again.I had random girls texting me saying how stupid I was to be sending him cute little texts, while he spent the night with them.

My second boyfriend, he lied to me from the start. And he got his supposed ex girlfriend, which it turned out they were together, and he got her pregnant.

I admit with my 1st boyfriend I went nuts. But 2nd. Eh. I figured it wasn't worth it. Holding grudges is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to fall.

And then the both still have the audacity to ask for me back.

Go ahead and be bitter for now. But it will subside. And you will move on. Maybe not in a day. Month. Or even a year. But eventually.

The caps was an accident on my part. I am not that angry but I am a little frustrated at some aspects in my relationship. I am frustrated that once I caught my boyfriend on AFF he went there on again this month and said he did not do or meet up with anyone but was just there to look at women and that was a long time ago because I was on okcupid and pof only because he was flirting with my girl friend and I noticed that he was messaging later on many times asking her to hang out with him. He said he was doing that to spite me. I can tell you for certain that I broke it off once with him then got back with him after him begging me then he broke it off with me and then i asked him to be with me because I was lonely and that took a lot of persuading. In other words this relationship has not been the most stable one.

So break up with him. If the relationship is that bad, just end it.You're letting yourself be screwed over. He's an asshole for doing it, but he's also getting away with it because you won't stand up for yourself. After the first time, you're both at fault for it continuing to happen.

Look, really, two years is not that long. People break up after spending decades together, and people recover from that.I'm going to be blunt here. You're making excuses, because you're scared. That's understandable, because it is scary. But by doing that, you're only hurting yourself. He's never going to change, and you're letting him walk all over you.

Yes, don't go for a guy who likes you, go for a guy who will value you. If you need help further evaluating the word "value", think about your phone for example, it probably has tons of family photos ( if not, just assume you loose family photos ), you drop your phone or something and all these photos are gone. Almost irreplaceable, find a man who thinks of you like this. Not a man who looks at you like a ripped t-shirt, a ripped t-shirt can be replaced, family photos can't.

I wonder thought because my boyfriend tells me all men are like this. He claims that I will never find any man who will not think other women are attractive and men are attracted to other women and like butts of other women and stuff. I am not a jealous woman but I would think that a man that would commit to me would find my sexually attractive is that not the case? Do men just commit to whatever woman who will be with them and then search for sexual things else where?

He should find you sexually attractive. He may feel an initial moment of attraction to other women, but I have known and dated men who will keep their eyes off other women out of respect for their partner. It is out there. It is possible. It is not unreasonable.

He should never seek sexual things with another woman. That's disloyal and called cheating. Men do get dumped for that and should expect to get dumped for that.

All this talk about commitment ! I mean shouldn't u commit at the very least a little bit if u call someone your GIRLFRIEND? I mean u had the choice to stop at:-1st date-2nd date-3rd date-I'm seeing someone-I'm datingThen -girlfriend- !!!I mean have a little respect for women, were not just holes where u can "spread your seed"

I'm sorry Norah :( I hope it works out and he stops looking at other women, and if he doesn't, i dont think he deserves you! Like i said, he had many opportunities to be straight out honest with you! Stay strong girl and fight for what you want! :*

We live in a world where gender equality is characterised as feminism! I guess it's still too much to ask for some respect after all the shit we go through every month and during at least 10 months when we make children! I'm annoyed by societal views on women, and I'm glad it's starting to change :)

I am sorry if the men in your life have caused you pain. Not all men are cheating, wanker perverts. I don't commit to someone unless I trust them. Trust is earned, and I try to earn their trust as well.

It depends. My boyfriend looks at other girls. It hurts me but I know its natural. If where on the train I see him look at this cute black girl. This makes me even more worried because he's black and I'm white therefore I always think he might like those types better then me. I now get that I have to deal with it. Because majority of men will look. It's natural for me to feel jealous but it doesn't make me right because I feel this way. I wouldn't say looking at girls has anything to do with getting bored of relationships.. My boyfriend watches Porn I think and its all about the variety for them or so he says. As long as I'm his only girl I'm happy. I think u need to understand that nowadays it's more easier for guys to try multiple girls at once because of tinder and other shit that's why it seems there are more peverted guys.

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Anonymous

When I was younger, I used to be attracted to girls because guys are so superficial and no guy is going to ever marry me anyways. Now, I am celebrate or asexual because I suffer from emotional abuse constant especially from my mom. Guys stare at my mom and ignore me when they see me. I find more women attractive than men still because most women are all cute.

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Anonymous

Looking is fine, acting on it is not. Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean everybody else is suddenly ugly. I've been with my guy a number of years now, but I see other guys who look good. I just look for a second, it's not like I'm staring and making eye contact to give them signals to come over. As long as you're respectful enough not to be fully checking people out, and looking at others while you're with your partner and they can see (that's very disrespectful) then it's fine.

Maybe in girl talk with my friends, we'll joke around and make jokes about hot guys, but that's about it. I would never tell another guy he is sexy while I'm commited, ever. Most I'd do is agree with friends that somebody is hot.