Let’s talk late ’90s, maybe scrape the 2000s, this is what I thought at various points in time:1) People live forever (NB: major blow when I found out that wasn’t true).2) There are around 130 people on the planet.3) 120 is the biggest conceivable number (due to it being the maximum value on the tape measurer).4) Anyone I don’t know (i.e. strangers) automatically know other strangers.5) Animals can talk to each other, but it is a mystery how snails do it…6) Liking a girl is gay.7) Trees can think.8) CCTV cameras can read our minds.9) Women only wore dresses.

There’s probably a lot more of this trivia, I’ll put it in if I can remember any more and can be bothered to add them in…

I am known for my weird views on matters, let me give you an example, what do I think people are like depending on their age?

0–9You’re an innocent, curious, obedient child.10–19You’re a filthy, rebellious, liberal, obnoxious, non-conforming adolescent.20–29Toned down, but too preoccupied with modern work and partying to give a shit about anything or start a family.30–39Finally married with spawn, no longer rebellious and respectable by society. Still attractive even though you’re not really young.40–49You’ve crossed the line, aged horrifically on your 40th birthday, respectable people of society but with a sadness that your children are 10–19.50–59An extension of 40–49, bored with life and your deteriorating spouse.60–69Light at the end of the tunnel! You’re not an aged young person but an old person! Grey hair suits you. You’re starting to have grandchildren and your spouse is as happy as you are.70–79You’re not as able as you used to be, but you’re still in good mental health, you’re more happy about being around for your teenage grandchildren than hating their guts.80–89You would be a lot happier if you were as fit when you were young but your happy-go-lucky attitude brought by old age overcomes that. You like reflecting on whatever war you fought in and won’t let your limited company forget it.90–99You’re experiencing the cycle of life by witnessing your great-grandchildren and somehow you haven’t noticed your own good health and mental stability at such a huge age.100–109You are a fucking legend, you spend hours on Facebook and drive motorcycles on the wrong lane on purpose, you skydive twice a week.110–119After your second adventurous stage of life, you’re relaxing at your retirement home, forgetting the names of your indeterminate amount of descendants as well as why you’re there. You’re probably gonna die peacefully in your sleep, and TomRed might mention it in his blog.120–129You’re Jeanne Calement.

Indeed, I have endured my first ‘week’ of sixth form. Well,it wasn’t as packed with lessons as it usually would… My first impressions? Well, perhaps if they were organised about the timetables as oppose to OCDing over the haircuts I’d have some more respect (and yes, it’s just a matter of printing the damn things). The lessons? Well, I think I can safely say that I’m at the bottom of the difficulty curve and you will know when I’ve hit ‘the wall’ if you see suicidal elements in future posts. My favourite and worst lesson? No idea, but if I had to place my bets on any members of staff reading this (if any), classing economics as the single most best subject in the history of education may be beneficial for my future.

TomRed’s what?

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