24 February 2008

8 weeks starting Wednesday

Well, John never was able to get out of Idaho like he and I hoped. Tuesday the 26th marks his departure from the Potato State. He can't get home fast enough. I don't begrudge him the time that he'll spend with his mom and then his dad on his way home to me, but I am so jealous that they'll get four days that I won't. These 8 months of his absence with intermittent weekends and a couple of holidays have been difficult emotionally. Whereas I want him to be happy and successful in his career, I want him here with me all the same. Too many adverse factors come together in this situation. If he's completely out, it's unlikely that he'd get the kind of work he does now. It's not like there aren't gay construction workers, but unless he decides to start his own business, he'll face all sorts of prejudice in the workplace. Even as an independent entrepreneur, he'd have a hard time outside of certain markets. At the same time, I cannot leave my situation because of my responsibilities to my own children prior to their becoming adults. For at least 6 & 1/2 more years, this may be the way we lead our lives. Far from perfect, it still makes me happier than I ever was in a traditional marital relationship. However, were this a more forward thinking nation, many more people would be happy, myself included.