Marriage on Little House: Realistic?

After reading how old we all were when we got hitched...I started to think about the couples of Little House. Do you think that the marriages on the show seemed realistic? Or did they just appear to be TV couples? did any of the marriages seem too perfect?

For example: While I like Nellie and Percival..I found their romance and marriage to be highly improbable...and I never totally bought Nellie's sudden personality change

Mary & Adam: I like them as a couple...but I never believed that Adam would fall in love with a student...especially one who was as sour as Mary was when she first got to the Blind School..well, maybe he was just really lonely...

for some of the couples, I felt that the writers just "put them together" for the purpose of expanding more story lines...such as Isaiah and Grace

Laura and Almanzo: I would believe their courtship more if Laura looked older in season 6....their relationship became more real to me during season 7...when Melissa Gilbert started to look older...

Caroline and Charles: their relationship seemed the most real to me....perhaps because they were older and more experienced actors...they could draw on personal experience to enhance their on-screen roles

I could write a lot more, but will stop for now, because I want to hear your opinions!

For the most part, I think LHOP did a good job of matching up couples for the right reasons. Charles and Caroline had the most chemistry by far. That's something that always bugged me about Laura and Almanzo and Mary and Adam because even though their marriages had tender moments, for the most part I didn't get that married couple feel. Laura and Almanzo seemed to do better after "Days of Sunshine, Days of Shadow" in Season 8 and into the final season. I'm sure both Melissas' ages played a part in how their marital relationships came across on screen.

Looking at relationships from a romantic perspective, Isaiah and Grace, Nellie and Percival, and Jonathan and Alice, maybe they weren't the best matches; but I always felt that Nellie and Percival had the most on screen chemistry next to Charles and Caroline.

Now, remembering the times in which the show took place, I could see people like Isaiah and Grace getting together for the sake of the children--though I do think they cared for each other. The reality is that roles for men and women were very different back then and mortality rates were a lot higher, so people who might not have been in love got together for other reasons. So, while for the show it might not always seem likely for two people to get together, in my mind it worked because of the time period.

Let's start with Ma & Pa, since they're our true 'power couple' of the show. They're definitely the most realistic IMHO...I honestly didn't think of them as 'too perfect', although I've heard it said before. I suppose one might look at my hubby & I as being 'too perfect' because we rarely argue, maybe bicker over little things which keeps him on his toes , but mainly we argue over the 'big stuff' and that's not too often. I would say the same is true for Charles and Caroline. I was JUST reading an article in the new Redbook magazine last night at the hairdressers about "why men cheat", and most men will say that it's because of an emotional void (not what many women might suspect). I have friends who are getting divorced after 20 years, and I honestly feel this was the problem. What Charles & Caroline represent is the ultiimate ideal, of course, but not unattainable. Mutual respect and admiration for each other, consistent verbalization of feelings and expression through contact, whether it be eye contact, little touches, or hugs 'just because'. They appreciated each other deeply and expressed that to each other regularly. I truly do think my hubby and I 'work' because we're getting pretty good at this, over 18 years, and I'd have to say that observing C&C's marriage for so many years as well as the successful 46 year marriage of my own parents may be a factor in that. So yes, C&C ARE realistic, because they TRY hard. It's all about effort, consistency, and never getting 'lacksadaisical' in the marriage, on either part, both physically and emotionally. And the biggest deal-breaker or maker of all, trust, which C&C demonstrated throughout the series. It's the lack of all these things I mentioned and so much more that are causing the breakdown of so many of today's marriages, I believe.

Ok, enough about me. I'll get off my marital soapbox now!

I'm in agreement with Cheryl, that Nellie & Percival had the most chemistry next to C&C. (I think we've discussed that before Cheryl). I felt it instantly---you know, you either have on-screen chemistry or you don't. My favorite shows are the ones with the most on-screen chemistry between the main couples---Little House (C&C), Dr. Quinn (Michaela & Sully) and The X-Files (Mulder & Scully). I have seen many series try to emulate these 'power couples', but if the actors don't have the chemistry to begin with, then they aren't going to just 'find' it over time. I have yet to see that happen. So with Nellie & Percival, I accepted their quick courtship (as well as Nellie's turn in character), not only because of the chemistry, but Percival's dominant role over Nellie, and dare I say she needed that? I agree with Susan that the right person can seriously change the character of another. It happened with my hubby.

Laura & Almanzo: I do 'buy' their age difference, even with Melissa's youthful looks, because my own grandparents were about 12 years apart, I think my grandma was 14! There again, as Cheryl mentioned, it's a 'time period' thing, and that makes it realistic for me. A show today with characters that far apart in age (the youngest under age 18) would NEVER in a million years work for me. Can you say statuatory rape?!?! :unsure: But considering this was the late 1800's, it's more acceptable. The same is true for Mary & Adam---the whole 'teacher/student' thing was more prevelant back then too, I do believe. I'm thinking Anne of Green Gables here, but I really don't know if this is true. Anyway, again, it's more acceptable on screen for me because of the time period. And I actually did think that Adam would fall for Mary, because with them I felt the immediate 'connection/chemistry', so I felt that he would fall for her, despite her sourness. He was able to 'see' underneath all that into the 'true Mary'. The weird thing for me, with them, is that I kind of felt like they lost chemistry over a time in that relationship, particularly after they were married. Not sure if that's just me though. Like you said, Cheryl, could have sth to do with MSA and how she was able to portray (or not portray) romance on screen.

I do agree Samantha, about Isiaah and Grace, although I did like them as a couple. Not sure if I'm really answering this question of 'realistic marriages' or not...I see where some are definitely, and some were in there simply as 'convenience' for the show, for sure.

Oh, and I just realized no one has mentioned Nels & Harriet!! Maybe because none of us want to touch that one with a 10 foot pole! :unsure:

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with greatlove.”

Laura & Almanzo: I do 'buy' their age difference, even with Melissa's youthful looks, because my own grandparents were about 12 years apart, I think my grandma was 14! There again, as Cheryl mentioned, it's a 'time period' thing, and that makes it realistic for me.

On Almanzo Wilder: Life Before Laura, Bill Anderson mentions the age difference between Laura and Almanzo. He talks about how while nowadays it would be unusual to see a 25-year-old man interested in a 15-year-old girl, it wasn't unusual for the times.

Amy wrote:

Oh, and I just realized no one has mentioned Nels & Harriet!! Maybe because none of us want to touch that one with a 10 foot pole! :unsure:

I knew I was forgetting someone, but I was trying to get ready to go grocery shopping and I couldn't even think of LHOP couples.

Nels and Harriet really work for me. As we see in Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, some men were okay with their wives taking on a less traditional role. Look at Eliza Jane Wilder; though she had a traditional job for a single woman of the time, she also took up a homestead by herself. And I don't think that her spirit diminished after she got married. So, I could see Harriet coming from a wealthy family and her parents giving her a small mercantile to run in order to catch a husband who would allow her to stay in that role; just as much as I could see Nels's mother thinking that his dropping out of school and marrying Harriet would be a huge mistake. She probably thought Nels needed a more traditional wife. It's actually sad that we didn't learn more about Nels's and Harriet's past lives. But then again, that was true for most of the characters, except the Ingalls family.

nels and harriet oleson worked for me as well..i believe that they make the perfect couple and i've always thought that they represented the average married couple...i could always feel their chemistry right from the beginning...

oh of course, being a bride at 16 was not uncommon in the 1800's...or even the 1940's and 50's...I think the thing that struck me most about the Laura/Almanzo courtship was that Laura was still emotionally immature in many ways during season 6. For example, if she wasn't getting her way in an argument with Charles, she would cry and run out of the room...then was consoled by Caroline...that is very childlike behavior to me. Personally, I agreed with Charles when he said that they should wait until Laura turned 18....Laura really wasn't mature enough (at least the way that she was portrayed on the show) to enter a marriage at age 16.

Adam/Mary: I do know professors that have fallen in love with their graduate students..so I do believe that that sort of thing can happen...i guess their romance just happened too fast for me to fully believe it..and their my favorite LH couple!with Laura and Almanzo we had a whole season to see their relationship develop...and with Mary and Adam...we get one episode...and a few episode in season 5

Nellie/Percival: they seemed realistic once they were married...but the beginning of their courtship seemed thrown together at the last minute just so that Nellie could have a husband...

oh of course, being a bride at 16 was not uncommon in the 1800's...or even the 1940's and 50's...I think the thing that struck me most about the Laura/Almanzo courtship was that Laura was still emotionally immature in many ways during season 6. For example, if she wasn't getting her way in an argument with Charles, she would cry and run out of the room...then was consoled by Caroline...that is very childlike behavior to me. Personally, I agreed with Charles when he said that they should wait until Laura turned 18....Laura really wasn't mature enough (at least the way that she was portrayed on the show) to enter a marriage at age 16.

That's why I always wished that their courtship could have been dragged out a tiny bit longer so that we could see the change in Laura. It moves a bit too quickly to be realistic. Or even if they decided to make more of Season 6 about her moving away from childhood into her becoming a young woman that would have worked too. I understand her struggle to want to be a kid and also be grown up, but most of Season 6 she acts like a kid with moments of being mature and then we're expected to believe that her first teaching job changed her and she was a young woman after that and ready for marriage.

I agree, Mary and Adam's courtship and Laura & Almanzo's was rushed. That's one thing that Little House didn't do well IMHO---most tv series do very well if they don't progress the main couples to marriage so quickly.

I agree with you Samantha---Laura definitely had a lot of growing up to do during that time (I think they were trying to show us how she was caught between being a young girl and a woman---gosh, don't I remember it well!), and Charles actually had the good sense to want her to mature more. I'm sure most families back then were just happy to get their girls married off so they could be 'taken care of'.

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with greatlove.”

i agree with everyone above...although for me mary and adam's relationship looked more realistic to me than laura and almanzo's relationship...i also wished they would've dragged it out a little longer..

What do you think of Willie and Rachel? I think they made a good couple. It was nice to see Willie grow up into a responsible young man. I think if he hadn't married Rachel he would have kept on being silly Willie into his 20s or 30s, kind of like Harve Miller.

I like Willie and Rachel...and I like the episodes where Willie is a mature adult who can stand up for himself...

while I'm not a big Willie Oleson fan...what I would have liked to see is a few more episodes centered around him before Rachel came on the scene, perhaps some "coming of age" stories... Johnathan Gilbert was not a bad actor...he should have had more opportunity...

I wish the writing in Season 9 was better...I would have liked to see Almanzo and Laura truly take over as the lead adults on the show...and have some of the younger actors take central roles (like Willie and Rachel)...there is so much that the writers never got a chance to explore...

i have to agree with everything you said samantha..i would have liked to have seen more episodes involving laura and almanzo's relationship and actually left them in the little house that almanzo and charles built together...i think it would have kept the show running a little longer...but that's only my 2 cents

I agree with what everyone said - C&C had the best chemistry, they set a pretty high standard for other couples to be compared to. I also agree that Laura and Almanzo's relationship may have seemed more 'real' if we were given a chance to see it develop, instead of Laura chasing after Almanzo, with her hair still in braids, then one episode where he begins to notice her ("Sweet Sixteen"), then all of a sudden, they get engaged. I think "Sweet Sixteen" was a great start - seeing Almanzo begin to take notice of Laura, see her as a young woman instead of the little girl he had always considered her to be. It just may have been better if we saw some more of the actual courtship.

In their own way, Nels and Harriet had great chemistry too - can't picture one without the other (even if one happens to be yelling at the other LOL).

"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."