Yeah, I've had those mornings. There are a lot of farms around us, and all sorts of critters get out. A couple of farms over, they raise thoroughbred race horses. A couple of those that get free will bring out the sheriff and fire department.

Alpacas. They look like llamas, but with one important difference: the 2003 Jobs and Growth Reconciliation Tax Act gives immense tax breaks to alpaca farmers. Suddenly, everybody with a large backyard and income to shelter buys alpacas. Your tax dollars at work.

Where I grew up (in northern New Jersey, not somewhere exotic) we had baboon problems. The Jungle Habitat theme park was just up the road and the baboons were always getting out. If you had them in your yard, you had to call the fire department (the firemen would blast 'em with fire hoses so they could be captured).

No llamas around here but I live in a nice middle-class neighborhood right around the corner from the Krogers (grocery store chain) and one of our neighbors has several peahens & a peacock. Fortunately they're quite car savvy but they do enjoy an occasional romp through the neighborhood!

I was driving down a major boulevard in St. Louis County, doing the posted speed limit, of course, when suddenly a donkey burst from the side of the road in front of me, followed closely by a guy on an ATV. I proceeded to the next light (a hugely traveled intersection) to find several police officers attempting to restrain several horses and that donkey, but it was obvious that they were not used to horses and were losing the fight. And so many confused cars! This wasn't the country; it was a fancy suburb, but here's this donkey, probably laughing his donkey butt off at everyone!

I have seen llamas in the back yard of one huge home in the ritzy River Oaks section of Houston. I have a neighbor in Bellaire, TX, who has llamas in their back yard. That same neighbor has recently photographed coyotes and a bobcat in their back yard, eating their pet deer. This is in the city, not some bucolic suburb.

I was paged by a llama farm this weekend. The caller hung up without leaving a message, so I didn't find out the nature of the emergency. As I don't do llamas (or alpacas), I figured it was a wrong number and didn't pursue it further.

A zebra escaped from the traveling circus downtown Atlanta a couple weeks ago and was found walking down the interstate. Needless to say it caused more traffic than usual. I thought if I was driving down the interstate and saw a zebra I'd think I had gone off the deep end.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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