Friday, April 22, 2011

Why would I want a love marriage?

The opinions are solely mine and please don’t take it too personal. I don’t want to be bombarded with questions. And don’t blame me if I have an arranged marriage J

This is for every man and woman who understood/understands/will understand the simplicity of words and genuine love. I am writing this for the love that lead/will lead to marriage.

Why would I want a love marriage?

Because you would know a person in prior and can have an understanding? Cheesy. Put two boys in a hostel room for three years and they would be ready for marriage. It is not about the “prior” knowledge that sets a love marriage apart but something more and not thought of.

Arranged marriage has thousand benefits of its own and I could put it in words much better than for love marriage.

Which of the men do you want to be in the court of law? The judge or the lawyer? Arranged marriage is where you are the judge while in love marriage, you are the lawyer. Why do I say this? If people at home were to arrange the marriage for you, your highest responsibility would be to accept or reject an offer. You look for the compatibles and much more before you can proceed into the offer. Love marriage is not that way. Love finds you; it is an age old secret of how it is done but it does find you. Compatibility is learnt on the go and then, you convince for the marriage to happen.

In an arranged marriage, you discover one another and try to attach all the strings together leaving behind the differences. Beautiful, is it not? But in a love marriage, you discover yourself. You would not know why you wait for the special person for 2 hours; you just wait. There would be no reason to most of the actions but it happens. Traits like selfish and possessive don’t disappear but you know they exist which you never understood for years.

Sacrifices and adjustment happen in both types of marriages but what is the stake is important. In an arranged marriage, there is a guarantee of things that wait. This is not true in love marriages. When you sacrifice something for another person without even knowing what is at the other end of the tunnel, does it make you a blind fool? Maybe it does and it is for the same unknown magical reason love marriages exist in our country today. Selfless motives behind every action and probably, no right results yet you are willing to take that stride.

Have you understood friendship ever in your life? Why is that sometimes, they are as important as the family or even more? Friendships play an important role in love marriages. No, I am not going into that bollywood and kollywood kind of fantasies. You will understand that friends are there just for you and nothing more or less. They are there for support and are your spine; they exist yet unseen.They would never ask the unnecessary questions are willing to hear to anything you say. You want them. Like never before.

What is being in a relationship mean? An elated feeling of not being alone and someone is there for you? Someone you can cuddle in cold nights and pamper in sunny mornings? Have a pet; it will serve the same purpose. Being in a commitment means you will think twice or more than usual. You will think for yourself and the other. You would know what is to take decisions through heart and not mind. Maybe you got into the relationship through mind, looking at the favorable things but when it comes being in it, you would just not think for yourself alone. Can anything in life teach you to make decisions as good as this? Has your life ever been planned like this?

I often consider that it is the duty of the people in a relationship to convince everyone, including parents. Maybe this is the first time you would have known what you want; so would your parents. There may be clashes or smooth handling depending on the family and beliefs but the first step is to approach the parents. They understand you and you understand yourself better. Among all the chaos, the bond just becomes a bit too tight.

Faith is a good thing. Faith is something that keeps you going. It helps you work towards something that you want so badly. Faith is why human exist and it is found in love. You do everything letting yourself believe that the other person will become yours some day. With love comes a package of emotions that don’t even have names.

Finally, it is the accomplishment that makes a love marriage altogether superior. The efforts that were taken to get that one person into your life will make memories. You went beyond all the conflicts, misunderstandings, no confidence and highest level of persuasion to get what you believed in. Whether this ‘love’ will exist for a long time, I do not know. For a marriage to last longer, faith and trust in each other is a must. For all people who loved before the marriage, it already happened.