As you might have already assumed, dear reader, this blog is dying. After almost five years on the internet, I sensed more and more that God drew me closer to Himself and away from this world. In fact, Christian blogs today are for the most part worldly blogs and bloggers who are truly Spirit-led are a rare find nowadays. It is no different in my private life, dear brothers and sisters. Here in Germany there is nobody but me who knows the Lord and I cannot say I like that. However, it seems to be God’s plan for my life to walk with Him now, once again, in secrecy. That means, that I more and more realized that I cannot share, neither privately nor publicly, what I have experienced with Him anymore. One reason is that I feel a delicacy about sharing God’s mysteries, particularly on the internet which is, in my humble opinion, a shark pool where all kinds of evil spirits drown out the small and subtle voice of God. The other one is that “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor 2:9 ESV) cannot be expressed in mere human words. Also, apostle Paul told us,

“[…] among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away. But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory.” (1 Cor 2:6-7 ESV)

There might be a few readers, though, who would be able to understand what I share on a spiritual level. Nonetheless, this is a public blog and I do not know how many immature and worldly readers drop by. Here I am reminded of Jesus’ admonition “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” (Mt 7:6 ESV)

Anyway, regarding this and all other areas of my life, I decided lately to obey God and to not submit to any other spirits than His Spirit. I try every day to simply listen to His guidance in each and every case (which is not always that easy), not knowing what lies ahead in my personal life, either. But I know that God is good and that He guides everyone who keeps knocking on heaven’s door and asks for His help and wisdom.

Be richly blessed, my dear brothers and sisters, as you keep seeking His face. May He fill you with His wisdom and the secret knowledge of Himself. May you also be blessed with entering the Promised Land as you keep walking by the Spirit. Thank you, dear readers, for your faithfulness in commenting on my blog.

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91 thoughts on “It’s High Time to leave…”

Your post reminds me of 1 Kings 19 which I read a few days ago, especially verses 11 and 12.

I pray that you will experience many moments of deep fellowship with God and hear His “still small voice” every single day, every single moment, and that as led by the Holy Spirit, you’ll be able to have true, Spirit-led fellowship with brothers and sisters who love the Lord like you do.

Take courage, sister, for greater is He that is in us than He who is in the world. No weapon formed against you shall prosper.

Thank you for all you’ve shared of your journey with us. Your posts have helped me a lot. 🙂

I am glad you understand, Louise. ♡ You are very welcome as to the prayers. Indeed, it was never my plan to write on the Internet (in English at that! 😇) and it has not been my plan to leave today. But as you rightly said, we must follow Him and the Spirit wind of which we never know where it/He takes us. Every blessing to you! 🤗🏖🎼🎶

Even only while typing this blog post as I waited for a phone call, I realized that God wanted me to quit blogging now. At first I felt some relief since blogging had become a big burden for me, esp. when I had to write many long(er) comments. Also, this continued choice of deciding which comments I should moderate and which ones I should rather delete – aka discerning the spirits – got me pretty exhausted, too.

My brother, I do not understand God’s leading, but I felt the nudge to leave the internet since about January this year (I recall leaving FB was in March or April this year already, as a first step, so to speak).

What got me really alarmed in your comment was the remark about not spending time with your family, Fred. Actually, that was one of the first things they told us in the Christian cult that our true family now were the Christians around us and no longer our natural family. Fred, take care, God won’t make us leave our families alone. The separation that HE makes happens in our hearts and is a spiritual division only (circumcision). This is necessary in order to obey Him more than men. I am reminded of the following verses here,

“Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.” He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.” (Mt 15:1-6 ESV)

Leaving our responsibilities behind us in order to listen to ‘god’ is indeed the voice of Satan, the voice of this culture and societies we live in.

Btw, I won’t take Entering The Promised Land from the internet. I think I will check the blog at times in order to see whether there are comments awaiting moderation, but I do not plan to go back to writing articles or poems on my other blog, since, indeed, I have a lot of family problems to solve here, too, and it was God’s guidance to make me rather focus my natural family than on the internet.

Every blessing, dear brother. May He keep you and lead you into all the truth!

Thank you. A pastor told me to leave my family in the hands of GOD. He said some thing about if I didn’t leave them they could not be saved. That scared me. Also I have a question about tithe, is it something we have to do?

It is one thing to leave someone in the hands of God, which is good, and another thing to claim that the chances your family could be saved depended on whether you were leaving them alone or not. What a sick statement! I am shocked!! ;-/

Fred, your family will be saved because Jesus Christ is our Savior and because He loves your family just as He loves you.

Tithing belonged completely to the Old Covenant. The shortest answer on what to do and what to omit in the New Covenant can be found in the Book of Acts where Peter said,

“Therefore my judgment is that we should not trouble those of the Gentiles who turn to God, but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood.” (Acts 15:19-20 ESV)

Leaves not much room for tithes since we are the Gentiles he spoke about. Only staying away from sexual immorality is left for us nowadays, the rest is history.

Very good reply to Fred, Susanne. This same discourse you quoted from Peter also said that the law was a burden that even the Jews could not carry. Jesus filled up the just requirements of the law in His perfectly obedient life to His Father while on earth and His perfect sacrifice as the Lamb of God who took away the sins of the world. We cannot add to that by law keeping and Paul made it clear that to try and do so was making the sacrifice of Christ of no effect for the person trying. We either must live by faith in Christ alone in the NEW Covenant or live under the law of sin and death in the old. There is not middle ground. Sad to say, most of Christianity is still living under the law and NOT in the New Covenant under the leadership of the Spirit of Christ by faith. The fact that you are so led by the Spirit is why you are such a blessing to me and many others, dear sister. ❤

“Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; you are fallen from grace. For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith. For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision avails anything, nor uncircumcision; but faith which works by love.” (Gal 5:4-6, KJ2000)

I have also come across that kind of thinking in one of the “churches” where I spent about seven years of my wilderness walk. The pastor gave a lot of importance to “church attendance” and “serving in church”. Sometimes, spending so much time in church can be an escape from the tougher realities of living with a “difficult” husband/wife or children. Or we could say, it’s easier to pretend in a church environment than in the intimacy of our home.
Sadly, time proved in this pastor’s life that our resistance to such imbalanced ideas was right.
And yet, it was not a total waste of time. The Lord brought us deep in the pit so we would be able to see the effects of this and many more dark and twisted doctrines first-hand. Sometimes discernment is learned the hard way.
Family ministry is lesson I’m still learning, being too much of a multi-tasker, an easily distracted person. I easily lose sight of the bigger picture and the ministry I was given at home. So this post has REALLY spoken volumes to my life, dear sister! Time to go now! 🙂
No need for you to reply, sis. Go take care of your own!
With lots of agape love!

Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

1 John 5:13 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

We are not subject to OT laws, but Jesus has given us a challenge: to believe in Him, to believe how much the Father loves us, to receive that love, and once that love has filled us to overflow, to give that love back to God, and then to others.

When our obedience to God is based on that principle of love (when John speaks about “commandments” in his letter, love is the emphasis through and through), it will not be legalism. It will be like a child who walks with his dad, and enjoys fellowship with him. When our children “obey”, hopefully it’s because they trust us and love us. God doesn’t want to have a relationship based on fear in our part. We have received a spirit of adoption, so we can call Him “Abba, Father!”. Obedience stems from knowing He loved us first, and loved us so much that He gave His son for us.

You are correct. I have been told that before. The fear is generated from people telling me I have to do this or have to do that or can’t do this or can’t do that and I fail to do those or feel powerless to do them or not do them. I think that is done on purpose though to show how utterly dependent I am on GOD as we are. We are helpless with out him and we can do nothing with out him.

Also ever now and then GOD comes along and snaps me out of that and shows me I am a child of his and loved by him. One day he had some one come to me on facebook and say Jesus loves you. It was out of the blue but had good timing and the guy who sent me the message didn’t know he did it or why.

Also there is another thing that generates fear those who teach that salvation can be lost. I get scared as I don’t want to be apart from GOD at all not even for one Nano second. I have prayed and asked if it can be lost and I have gotten back that it can not be lost at all but it can be harder to get then most realize. One passage I was shown is the one in Jude about GOD keeping us from falling and another is when GOD starts a work in us he will finish it. He showed me a few weeks back how that even works with still having free will. He changes things around us and even reminds us of his love.

That was a very good discourse on the law of love and how it is the ONLY one we need to keep. Jesus put it this way,

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:9-12, ESV2011)

Or as Paul put it,

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, self-control: against such there is no law.” (Gal 5:22-23, KJ2000)

Submitting to His Spirit abiding in us is the only “law” we need for He by the grace of God working in us gives us all these attributes as we need them and against these there is NO law. It all comes back to resting and trusting IN Him and ceasing from our own efforts to be righteous.

That was soo touching to read for me, dear Anna. ❤ ❤ ❤ I know I will miss you as well, very much!!! 😦

In fact, last night I only slept three hours and then was weeping for almost three hours, too. It is anything but easy for me to leave… However, as I mentioned in my reply to Fred, difficult private circumstances require a great deal of my energy and thus not much is left for writing and reading on the net. I do not know what lies ahead, though, and I do not know what God has in mind about my future. The only thing I know is that I only have a certain amount of energy left right now. Therefore, in order to protect both my physical and mental health, I needed to draw clear boundaries, which has not been easy to do, either, but badly needed!!

Nonetheless, I am grateful to hear that you could find wisdom and enlightenment in that which I had written on here. Thank you so much!!!

Thank you for letting God use you in so many inspirational articles and comments on your blog and in all our communications with me. You have touched me deeply and your walk with Him has spurred me on to keep seeking His wonderful face and to draw closer to the Father and the Son just as you have. May the Spirit continue to guide you in your daily walk always. We will miss you and the things you share from your heart on here.

Thank you so much for your edifying words! I am sooo thankful to God that He put you into my life as well. Our common spiritual walk sometimes was like a rollercoaster of emotions, including a lot of pain and suffering, but eventually all things happen for a reason and we have had a share of His eternal glory, too, hadn’t we? I also believe that IN HIM we cannot be separated ever as Romans 8 confirms.

Yes, dear heart, it has been good and also heart wrenching at times, this fellowship of ours, but Daddy has been using all of it to go deeper into the dark recesses of my heart and shine His marvelous Light there. Yes, my precious sister, we HAVE HAD a share of His eternal glory together and it has been so wonderful. I will be forever grateful for you being put in my life. I have never in my life known a common bond in the Spirit of God as I have had with you. We might not be blogging together in the days ahead, but we WILL still be together in His love both now and in eternity and THAT can NOT change.
Your Michael ❤ 🐻

Suzanne, I want to thank you for the posts you have shared with us. We as Christians are entering into the last days, more than ever each of us need to pray, watch and obey what God has put on our hearts. God is calling each of us into a greater relationship with Him. Thank you for being obedient to our Lord, May He totally bless your woolly socks off. Your sis in Christ, Sue

As I just told Ken Dawson, if God allows and if my circumstances are better than they are right now, I will return to the net and begin to write again. But at the moment I see no chance to do so because I am pretty much exhausted by my private life already. And I need time with God (several times) every day plus daily sports/workouts, too (if not, esp. my back aches a lot 😛 ).

Yes, we will meet again, dear Ken, no doubt about this! Btw, you said a similar thing Anna Waldherr told me on her blog. What a coincidence! 😉

If His Spirit leads me back to the internet, I will surely obey and begin to write again. However, at the moment my circumstances are pretty much a mess in several areas and that also needs a lot of time. If I want to stay close to Him, and even get closer as I sense He has been drawing me, I need to withdraw for a certain time. And only God knows how long this is necessary…

Every blessing to you, my dear brother, and thanks a bunch for your faithful commenting over the years on here. Much appreciated!!! 🙂

Susanne, I too want to thank you for your blog site. It was by the grace of God that I even found you. Your wisdom and spiritual insight have truly blessed me as well, especially your wisdom and spiritual insight concerning a personal matter that by God’s grace was resolved once and for all. Thank you for your obedience and availability to our Lord in being His instrument in the healing and resolution of that matter. That resolution was a big turning point in my walk with the Lord…victory! There are so few blogs left that edify and encourage the body of Christ in TRUTH – yours and Michael’s are two of them. I will be lifting you in prayer as the Lord leads you into a new direction – we know that the safest place to be is in God’s will. I too have pulled back from the internet…commenting and reading very few blog/websites anymore. I am (and have been) convicted of the increased spiritual dangers (warfare) that are rampant now for the Christian on the internet. Though I have been quiet, I continued to read your pearls of wisdom and spiritual insight. In the meantime, I have gone back to work part-time for the “soul” purpose of witnessing as the Holy Spirit leads. It has been truly amazing what the Lord is showing me…to God be all the glory!!!!! No doubt, we are in a spiritual battle of the likes I have never seen before and it will continue to intensify. Praise God for His armor, His provisions and His promises! Victory can be realized when we submit to his leading and remain obedient to his Word. May our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, richly bless you and yours. God Bless, Susanne…until we meet again, you will be missed!

Dear Nancy,
Thank you so much for speaking up for Michael’s and my blog! 🙂
I am glad you were helped by some of my writings on here.

I do not know where the Spirit leads me, however, at the moment I sense He is teaching me new things on a deeper level to which I really need to get acquainted with before I dare to write about it. Also, everything He has been teaching me must be ‘field-tested’ in real life, my life, that is, before I can verbalize what I cannot express in human words right now.
It is always good to trust in His leading, even if we do not understand His sometimes seemingly illogical ‘nudging’. Yet sooner or later, we will discover that waiting on Him and His time was all worth it.

Yes, thank you, Nancy. Reading your comment to Susanne was a real blessing. May the Spirit continue to be your Teacher and lead you into all truth as He opens new doors for you to follow Him… even without the internet! 🙂 God bless you, dear sister,
Michael

First of all, thank you for following my blog! I do try to speak God’s word in Spirit and truth here. I can understand how you feel, however, I have felt some of the very same things you have expressed in this post. I have thought about quitting too, but this is just the time many people need to hear the gospel truth. Anyway, I struggle on myself trying to do God’s will to spread the word to this lost world. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do in the future…

I admit your comment left me pretty confused. There is only a handful of blogs I follow and lately I did not join any new blog since at the moment I do not have the time to check out other blogs for private and some other reasons. I am not sure, either, whether we both felt the same things as to quitting the internet. Be that as it may, I checked out your blog just now and found that you hinted to the fact that Jesus always did what He saw His Father doing. That’s it, indeed!

I am afraid we cannot fulfill God’s purposes, esp. in His perfect timing, by merely following what has been written in the Bible although it is written truth and although God might often confirm our doing and thinking through Scriptures. We all need a living relationship with God and Jesus so that we can follow The Word, Christ’s voice, whenever He nudges or urges us to do something. His guidance is like the Spirit wind so that we can never predict what will happen in the next moment. From hence, I cannot tell you, Steve, whether, or rather, when I will continue to spread gospel truth on the internet.

Susanne,
A big amen! The Holy Spirit wind blows where it wills and leads us to unexpected places.
This reminds me of Acts 8. Philip was in Samaria, in the middle of a huge spiritual awakening. He was being greatly used by God to preach, to teach, to convict of sin, to bring deliverance… and then all of a sudden… the Holy Spirit sends him to the desert!!!
To preach to ONE man! Doesn’t make sense, right? But it was “a man of Ethiopia, a eunuch of great authority under Candace the queen of the Ethiopians”. Could it be that God was opening a door to the Gospel in Ethiopia through that man?
Had Philip listened to human reasoning, he would have stayed where the awakening was happening. But if he’d acted in disobedience, the awakening would have stopped!
I totally support your decision to leave the Internet for the time being, to pursue your primary ministry which is worshipping the Lord and your second ministry which is taking care of your family.

The other thing the Holy Spirit reminds me of is, when Stephen was stoned, his witness did not die. Indeed, it may have been through his final words and his forgiveness towards his murderers that God brought conviction of sin and then lifted up a certain Saul of Tarsus, whom we know as the apostle Paul!
When a truly godly person leaves, the influence he or she has had on others doesn’t stop. God has never left himself without a witness!
What you’ve sowed in the hearts of those who have read your blog will remain in us who have heard the Holy Spirit’s words through yours, even if you never come back, sister.
Fear not! Only obey Him!
We love you!

Well, I must admit to some confusion too. I was looking through my comments, etc. and thought for sure I came across your site as a new follower. I apologize if that was not your intention. Still, I would love to see those who do share the word of God correctly to stay with it here. It is true that there are so many out there who have their own ideas about God’s will, and even when they are shown scripture against what they believe, they want to argue and debate it to death! Anyway, I thank you for returning my comment and wish you well in your future endeavors!
Steve

Thank you very much for clarification, Steve. No need to apologize. I am no longer confused now. 🙂

Regarding commenters who want to argue and debate, I learned some hard lessons while blogging. Sometimes I had frightening dreams in which God warned me about someone who would soon try to comment on my blog in order to attack me. Since, in the beginning, ‘silly me’ did not moderate comments at all and then would wonder why she could not get their words out of her mind. Even, some comments and their words followed me into my dreams, they caused nightmares, or left me completely sleepless and anxious until I learned the (for me, hard) lesson to draw a sharp line of distinction here.

Of course, there are always evil spirits behind such commenters which I now often sense immediately, even before I read a comment or check out a pingback to my blog. Just yesterday before going to bed, I saw a new follow of someone who liked one of my posts, left a comment in which he asked me to follow his blog, and put a pingback to this post on here about leaving the internet. That did not make much sense to me… Why should someone reblog my ‘good-bye’?

As I looked up his name on the internet, I found his Twitter account and saw that he would link there to his own blog on which he had posted the reblog of my post. Nonetheless, it got not clear (on Twitter) that it was not his own writing. Honestly, I doubt whether someone may call himself a true Christian while leaving the impression of having committed theft of thought on the net.

As for those who do not want to be convinced of the truth and rather debate lengthily, I was reminded of what Jesus said here,

“Indeed, in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled that says: “‘You will indeed hear but never understand, and you will indeed see but never perceive.” For this people’s heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them.’” (Mt 13:14-15 ESV)

Only when someone turns to the Lord, the veil of ignorance will be removed (cf. 2 Cor 3:16). Also, I am reminded of Paul’s advice to Timotheus and Titus as he admonished them,

“But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene.” (2 Tim 2:16 ESV)

“But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” (Tit 3:9-11 ESV)

Thank you for the detailed reply and I will add only one thing: the world shall always be the world! There are many good people out there, but so many bad people as well! Don’t let the bad ones get to you so much. Concentrate on the goodness of God and all He has promised…

Of course, you are right that focusing on God’s goodness is always the best choice. But oh, how difficult to get there to rest IN Him continually and to not be drawn here and there by other spirits! For me, at least, it has been a very difficult and long lesson. However, if I had not suffered that much regarding this, I think I would not have been able to grasp HOW evil and dangerous Satan and His minions really are.

Sometimes the Lord’s lessons last for a good while. But He knows just how long we need and how much we can take and He will never tempt His children beyond what they can bear. But He knows just the right amount of time to leave us with a lesson to learn…we must trust that as I know you do!

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

In hindsight I can say that this is true, but in the midst of such a surprising temptation it is easy to give way to despair when you realize that there is NO strength in your natural man to resist and you do not sense any power from God, either. Yet all things happen for a reason as the following Scripture confirms. Paul told us,

“[…] we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Rom 5:3-5 ESV)

As for me trusting God, well, HE knows my heart and all my doubts, too. 😉

As the scripture you quoted from 1 Cor. says, we have not been tempted by things which have not been common to all people. And it is also common to feel a lack of strength and God’s presence in the middle of some conflicts. I know I’ve felt that way before. But we must have the mindset that says “Hey, I’ve been here before and I know my Lord will see me through. I just have to fight the best I can and whatever happens, happens…

We also trust in the passage which says all things work together for good to those who love the Lord, (Rom. 8:28). We can depend on God to be with us in all of our trials.

Carina,
I really felt the Spirit’s words in what you wrote here. Dying to ourselves and all our self-centered ambitions is like Jesus said, “Unless a seed of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it abides alone. But if it does it will bring forth much fruit.” He led the way by laying down His life that the Church, His ekklesia, might be born and grow up into many sons and daughters of His Father.

It is SO important to lay down our lives so that HIS Life might spring forth in us. I have had to lay the AWV blog at His feet as well as our website many times. As Jesus put it, “Peter, do you love me more than these?” This, like it was with Philip, was immediately after Peter and John caught their biggest catch ever! The real question we face in the western world as Christians is, “Do we love the will of God more than our own success?”

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matt 10:39, ESV2011)

Susanne,
Your lengthy reply to Steve was really good! I was in particularly touched and convicted by your quote from Titus.

“But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him…”

As we were communicating earlier today I mentioned the US election outcome and we got into a discussion about the two presidential candidates and I came down emphatically for one and against the other. Well, it caused confusion and a dampening of the Holy Spirit in our discussion and I could feel it at the time. It is so easy to get off into “foolish controversies” and “stir up a divisions” and come under the influence of the wrong spirit. Please forgive me, dear sister. I was wrong to even get off onto a subject like that. We should let the dead bury the dead and be about our Father’s business in HIS kingdom, always.

As for your quote from Timothy, “But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene.” FaceBook came to mind immediately as I read this. I am sure glad that we both got off of there! If we truly belong to our Father, His kingdom is also ours and it is NOT of this world. I am still praying that Daddy will show me what to do with my own blog in the days ahead.

“Dear Daddy, please make it so more and more each day that in your Son we, ‘live and move and have our being.’ Amen.”

It was not my intention to write such a lengthy reply, yet I felt the Spirit nudging me to do so. 😉

As for this issue about the US election outcome, I was reminded of these verses Paul wrote Timothy,

“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” (1 Tim 2:1-4 ESV)

As for our blogs, you might like to confer my reply to Nancy Hollo, Michael.

WOW, Michael. I’m overwhelmed by your encouraging words. May the Lord make sure to keep reinforcing the message of humility in me. Philippians 2 is my constant thought these days.

I’ve also experienced the ups and downs in my blogging and writing life. I did at one time have a “successful” Yahoo360 (a now defunct Yahoo project) blog. I say “successful”, because having perhaps ten people following me and some very good commenters was like WOW to me at that time.

The Lord never failed to bring me down every time I began to believe I was something. I was so deeply discouraged that I hid the talent, and then the Lord had to restore me and, more carefully than before, allow me begin to share the little nuggets of “wisdom” the Lord was graciously sharing with me.

Now I’m begin to see my writing talent being “loosed” or “unleashed” so to speak, hopefully in a good way. But I have a deep sense of, should I say solemnity?, about this. Alert, vigilant, more sober-minded than ever before, more aware of my grievous shortcomings, my little hypocrisies, areas of double-mindedness and self-righteousness, the idols I’ve hidden from my Father like Rachel hid hers from her dad.

If there’s one word that could define my current moment, it would be “iconoclast”. I’m determined to destroy the idols of my “fathers”, like Gideon did. My view is definitely turned inwards, because what good would it be for me to point at other people’s idolatries if I refused to see mine? I don’t want to have ANY compassion of the idols… I want holy zeal for this temple of the Holy Spirit, and I want the merchants in it to be expelled with the Holy Spirit’s leash! Painful, but very necessary! If there’s one thing I don’t want to be is a false prophet who heals incurable wounds lightly!

So currently, I find myself sharing a few of the many things God is showing me. My blog is up there, typically zero comments, but that’s all right… God most definitely wants the root of pride to be removed from me!

Seems to me I’m being more “fruitful” in terms of internal transformation, even though externally, this doesn’t look like success. But again, my focus is for CHRIST to grow in me, for the Holy Spirit’s fruit in Galatians 5, and for self to be denied, dwindling, dead. And I’m constantly being reminded to Take great heed lest I fall. My security is JESUS, not my own holiness. If I had to judge myself based on what I know about myself, I’d most definitely still be very discouraged.

My natural talent is that I’m pretty good at analysing situations and reflecting. It could be that because I tend to ruminate on spiritual matters and pray a lot about such things, the Holy Spirit is giving me eyes to see things many people can’t see yet.
My strength is that I can usually put things into writing and get the message across. Not always, of course, but in general I have been good at using language and also find it easy to learn new languages and translate between them.
As to supernatural gifts… I’m quite sure that God does want to use my natural talents and strengths SUPERNATURALLY, and that’s the main reason for the humbling process. That’s the main reason He’s kept me almost totally hidden for +30 years.

I’m reminded of Moses. When he wanted to use his background knowledge and abilities learned in Egypt, he made a serious mistake and had to flee from Egypt and leave it all behind. It took 40 years of wilderness for him to be ready. His natural skills had to die first before God could use him… When he had zero confidence in himself, he was ready to be used.

I’m reminded of Joseph. Same story. Sold to slavery, accused falsely, forgotten in prison… then brought to a position of authority against all odds. Dreams which had died… suddenly resurrected and fulfilled! But in a very different shape than his original interpretation of those childhood dreams! The dreams were not about exaltation over his brethren, but all about service!

Of course I’m willing to sacrifice my Isaac, and this has been my constant, though very painful prayer during this dark night of the soul. It’s the Isaac I love! but God has to be first! So I keep bringing him to the altar until I get absolute peace that God is satisfied and gives me “green light” to write my “story”.

Now it seems God is using me a bit with my natural talent + natural “strength” + supernatural empowerment/gifting. I’m constantly crying out to God that I never ever again want to use my natural talents or gifts for my own glory. I come to God for supernatural grace… for the help I need so desperately because without Him I can do NOTHING of significance. And I don’t want to do things that are not “transcendent”, eternal… even if I get applauded for them… I don’t want to build anything with wood, hay or stubble! Because it’s not about me at all!

So please sister, if the Lord gives you a heart to pray for me, please pray in this sense. I want to minister to Him in worship and prayer, and help the body of Christ in intercession and then… whatever else the Holy Spirit wants.

Hoping and waiting on God to do something with this very broken vessel, according to 2 Corinthians 4.

Actually, in my evening prayer time I could not get you out of my mind and felt nudged to pray for your blog. It was a pretty short prayer, but I felt His peace immediately. But what THIS means in the end, I don’t know…

You wrote about Moses,

“When he had zero confidence in himself, he was ready to be used.”

This is so true! Or in other words (Jesus’),

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Mt 5:3 ESV)

Isn’t it interesting that Jesus begins the Sermon on the Mount with the very goal of sanctication? I saw it just now so clearly because I recall what I read in Oswald Chambers’s devotional today. He said,

“After sanctification it is difficult to state what your aim in life is, because God has taken you up into His purpose by the Holy Ghost; He is using you now for His purposes throughout the world as He used His Son for the purpose of our salvation. If you seek great things for yourself – God has called me for this and that; you are putting a barrier to God’s use of you. As long as you have a personal interest in your own character, or any set ambition, you cannot get through into identification with God’s interests. You can only get there by losing for ever any idea of yourself and by letting God take you right out into His purpose for the world, and because your goings are of the Lord, you can never understand your ways.

I have to learn that the aim in life is God’s, not mine. God is using me from His great personal standpoint, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him, and never say – Lord, this gives me such heart-ache. To talk in that way makes me a clog. When I stop telling God what I want, He can catch me up for what He wants without let or hindrance. He can crumple me up or exalt me, He can do any thing He chooses. He simply asks me to have implicit faith in Himself and in His goodness. Self pity is of the devil, if I go off on that line I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. I have “a world within the world” in which I live, and God will never be able to get me outside it because I am afraid of being frost-bitten.”

Thanks, thanks, thanks, sister!
The Chambers devotional is SO spot on!
God always gives us the EXACT word of encouragement, exhortation or correction we need!
My heart begs God to change me so that I will be like “the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes.” in Rev. 14:4.
I hate the old Carina and I certainly won’t pity her. In fact, I should go back to using my middle name, which is Paula, (“little”). This is a reminder I need everyday, because my true identity in Christ is a little child before an awesome Father. 🙂

Thank you for all that you’ve shared with us. You have a gift for writing about spiritual realities. I hope in your private walk with the Lord you’ll renew your strength. Don’t forget that His light shines brightest in the darkest places. You are there for a season and for a reason. God bless you little sister.

Maybe, I have this gift you spoke about, however, I cannot ‘use’ it as I see fit. Therefore, I need to wait on the Lord to tell me whether I should continue to write or not in the days ahead.

Indeed, strength is what we all need and we can only find it IN Him. What this world has to offer instead always points us back to our self-efforts, pride (in case of success), and despair when we fail. And I do not want this any longer.

As I was reading your reply to Nancy and correspondence with Carina about our abilities in the natural and as we are enabled by the Spirit, I was thinking how our Daddy often asks us to lay down not only our natural talents, but also He often requires us to lay down the gifts HE gives us. Take the story of Abraham with his promised child, Isaac, on Mount Moriah as an example, or Jesus, the promised King of Israel, who died without raising up the Jews to rule and reign with Him. What an offense this is to the flesh! Were we elated or despondent over the outcome of the presidential election here in America? What kingdom are we of?

I think obedience to Him means more than our many sacrifices or “good works.” All too many Christian writers and bloggers find their identity in their gift-ings instead of in Christ alone. It seems that every time I write a blog He makes me wait until I wonder if He will ever speak through me again, sometimes for weeks, as I watch my page views decrease daily. The temptation is to keep posting on a regular basis so that our readers will continue to show interest. The funny thing is that when I write a blog about the things of this world, I get more hits than I do when it is HIS words that were shared!

When King Saul offered God a sacrifice instead of destroying all the livestock of the conquered Amalekites as well as their king because he wanted to please his followers, he “rejected the word of the Lord” and God rejected him! Do we truly love the word of the Lord to us privately by His Spirit as much as we love our own words, creativity and the positive feedback we get? Can we keep a secret when He whispers a new revelation in our ear until HE says to share it? Oh, how our flesh loves to get the glory!

I think what He is waiting for is a heartfelt attitude that says, “the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Have we arrived at the place where we can truly say, “Blessed be His name and His ways are always perfect in my life whether it hurts or feels good,” no matter what He gives or takes away? This is the unconditional love and devotion He is waiting for in His sons and daughters.

May His will and HIS kingdom be our only desire in the days ahead as we abide in His Son. Amen.

You are right, Michael, it is not about spiritual gifts, either. If we read through 1 Corinthians ch. 12 which deals with the importance of striving for spiritual gifts (which are always given by God just as He wills), we read in the end,

“But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.” (1 Cor 12:31 KJV)

We know that in the following chapter 13 of the same letter agape love is described. Loving like God loves is the very goal, not ‘possessing’ any gifts in our old natural man. God can only work through us, as Oswald Chambers said, when there are no positive or negative impediments of our old nature. The most important thing is to receive His love in our whole being and to love Him back with the love received (Rom 5:5). Then we can also love others and ourselves as it should be, in a balanced way where are no idols in our hearts’ on their pedestals left but only God who lives and rules IN us. Furthermore, as I read lately (Sparks, Chambers, or anyone else – alas, cannot remember), we can serve people with ‘our’ spiritual gifts without ever getting to know (ginosko) the Lord and then the danger arises to hear Him say one day,

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” (Mt 7:21-23 ESV)

From hence, amen to your prayer, Michael.

I think we won’t be interested in blogging or writing at all as soon as He has enabled us to behold His face continually, don’t you think, my brother? What compares to real, eternal love? Success, approval of man, power… well, I am just thinking about politics here which you mentioned briefly. The world does not know (love) God, so they cannot act differently. But His children should be able to listen to His voice more and more clearly. The world does not know us because they do not know Him. And the Christian world that does not listen to His Spirit cannot hear His voice through His children, either, becaused Satan has stuffed their ears. It is a sad thing to observe, indeed! 😦

Michael, I love what you’ve said here, and it’s yet another confirmation of the same teaching I’ve been receiving from the Holy Spirit.
I often find myself in two extremes when it comes to speaking up: either the horse, which needs refraining, or the mule, which needs to be pushed.
“Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.”
Oh, for that perfect, godly balance of speaking the right words at the right time!

I’ve spoken up against this Trump vs. Hillary mania. I grew weary of Facebook because of it and am considering drastically cutting down my time spent there, though God did indeed use me many times through that network. I may even leave…

So many voices. So many tongues babbling human interpretations of Trump and everything, sometimes twisting Scripture to justify doing the unthinkable. I hope I haven’t added to the confusion, but I’ve felt the need to take a stand and humbly ask my brothers or sisters to reassess their loyalties. The American people are confused to say the least. Psalms 115 and 118 give a clear picture of what’s going on and how we should approach this subject of idols and men.

In any case, I wanted to say to you, Susanne, that it seems your prayers have greatly helped to bring God’s loud and clear answer to a question I’ve been pleading with Him to answer for two months. I will clarify later by email, the Lord willing, but basically the Lord has revealed to me the cause of my “writer’s block”. He had been speaking to me about this, but my “antennas” were getting interference. Now I know what had been hidden and this knowledge will help me fight this better.

But then again, my aim is not to “be a writer”. My aim is to be a worshiper. If God decides to use my writing “skill” for His glory, great! If He decides not to, that’s ok too. Right now, what He’s mostly “using” this vessel for is private intercession. Very fitting!

As for speaking up against rulers and Christians following them, well, I grew weary of this stuff, too. And that was only one of the reasons why I left Facebook in April this year and why I have withdrawn from the internet (read ‘Christian’ blogs) more and more. It seems stuffed ears cannot hear His small voice at all.

As for worshipping in Spirit and truth, this is a deep mystery the Bible sometimes only hints to, for example in the context of marriage.

“[…] we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Eph 5:32-32 ESV)

Churchgoers might still believe that worshipping God is about going to church, singing hymns and reciting pre-formulated prayers, but it is merely about beholding and loving the Eternal God, the Father and the Son in all three dimensions (body, soul, and spirit), as it is written here,

“And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” (Jn 17:3 ESV)

Here again, it is about knowing (Greek, ginosko) in the sense of loving God. To put it more bluntly, it is an erotic relationship in the Holy Spirit Who indwells our bodies that are His temple as Paul describes in the context of avoiding sexual immorality as he said,

“Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”
But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Cor 6:19 ESV)

This is a mystery, indeed, and true worship cannot be experienced or fabricated through anything outside of us apart from being indwelt by God’s Spirit Who makes us feel His love in our bodies, too. Man and woman can become one in their bodies and souls. However, with God there is another dimension that pours into our whole being, starting in our own spirit, flooding our soul, and then our body as well.

Intercession is a good thing, Carina! ⭐ We need to only follow His nudges as for whom to pray.

Boy, actually, I wanted to leave the internet, right? 😉 But I was just reminded of another Scripture that recommends us to choose the loving knowledge of God over gathering mere head knowlege. The reason is that perfect spiritual knowledge comes from a love for God that has been perfected, too. If we are not loved by God the way these verses allude, we cannot understand the depths of Scripture, either. Here are these verses, eventually.

[…] This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God. (1 Cor 8:1-3 ESV)

The deepest truths in Scripture are most of the times ignored because they seem to be so simple. Yet it is God’s wisdom that He does not shout with a loud voice in order to make Himself known. We need to be at rest in order to sense Him more clearly. Here is an excerpt of what T. A. Sparks’s devotional says about knowledge today.

“What was the one thing the prophets were always talking about? It was about knowing the Lord. The thing that was lacking amongst the Lord’s people in the days of the prophets was the knowledge of the Lord. There were plenty of people who were prepared to have the Lord for what He could do for them, but as for the Lord Himself… ah, that was another matter. What is the Lord after with you and with me? Is He first of all wanting us to do things? The idea of what is of God today is chiefly associated with the things which are being done for Him, the work we are engaged in, and so on – that is, with what is objective and outward. But the Lord is not first of all concerned about how much we do. He is far more concerned that, whether we do little or much, every bit of it should come out of a knowledge of Himself. Any amount can be done for the Lord in Christian work and activities, just as you do other work, but it may not proceed from your own deep knowledge of God. The Lord is concerned above all else that we should know Him.”

“The deepest truths in Scripture are most of the times ignored because they seem to be so simple. Yet it is God’s wisdom that He does not shout with a loud voice in order to make Himself known. We need to be at rest in order to sense Him more clearly.”

You said so much is so few words, dear heart! The natural man makes everything complicated when he approaches God. He builds religious systems, sacramentalism, church buildings that must be constantly served and endless laws around the simplicity of Christ who said, “You search the scriptures for in them you think you will find life. BUT it these that speak of me and YOU WILL NOT COME TO ME, that you MIGHT have Life!”

Yes, God does not shout to make Himself heard. As Isaiah prophesied,

“Behold my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my Spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations. He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street;” (Isa 42:1-2, ESV2011)

And Elijah reported,

“And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it…” (1 Kings 19:11-13)

Imagine the rest that Elijah must have been in to hear the whisper of God after being surrounded by fire, rock breaking winds and earthquakes, much less a wanted man with a price on his head! THIS is the place to where our Daddy is calling us, out of reach of all the pressing and threatening matters of this world, intimately resting IN Him! Thank you dear sister for sharing with us the whisper of our Father in your writings and comments.

You are most welcome, Michael. ♡ Actually, after another rather sleepless night and a lot of worries on my mind, Jesus just drew me back into His rest, both through continued prayer and through your comment! Real life can truly be found ONLY in His presence!!! Thank you so much for writing HIS words for me, my dear brother! 🤗

Thank you Susanne and Michael for sharing so many profound truths. Indeed, the Holy Spirit has been leading me in the same direction.

Dear sister, I’ve also been having some sleep trouble. I spent several days finding it very hard to get to sleep, but for the last week or so, I’ve been falling asleep alright but waking up at different points before dawn, or around 5 or 6 AM. Usually, the Lord gives me something to pray about, or reminds me of certain passages from Scripture He wants me to meditate on. I typically open my Bible, read a few chapters and then go back to sleep after an hour or two.

No doubt the enemy is angry that we’re pressing on for more intimate fellowship and “heart knowledge” of Christ, but we shouldn’t let satan intimidate us because he’s a liar. We’re under God’s wings so we can rest secure in Him. Remember that all temporary afflictions can only increase the weight of glory to be revealed later. God loves us more than we can imagine and is using these difficulties to bring us to greater intimacy and trust.

I’d like to share with you a couple of chapters that have helped me during this episodes of the “dark night of the soul” (literally!):
Psalm 42, Psalm 118, Jonah 2 and Hosea 6:1-3.
God will use these moments of solitude, of apparent hopelessness, even of sadness, to get us to need Him more, to cry out all the louder, and to die to the things that we used to value so much but were actually a hindrance in our spiritual walk. And then, He’ll resurrect us just like He did with Jonah, and the ministry birthed through our “death” will be a much more effective ministry. Because indeed, the few words we can say after God’s dealings with us will be much more powerful than the many words from those who speak from “head knowledge”.
Could it be that during these latter times, God is getting His remnant to experience this hard process of brokenness, weakness and dependence in Him because in His mercy, He’s about to give the world “the sign of Jonah” again? Just a thought.

You’re very welcome, dear Carina. Great to hear that God led you in the same direction! 🙂

I am sorry to hear that you have had some sleep troubles, too, my sister. It is true that the Holy Spirit sometimes keeps you awake while praying or wakes you up in the middle of the night. Indeed, I had to get used to it over the years. In my case, I also have had to cope with hot flashes and other menopause problems for several years now, which are mostly the reason why I cannot fall asleep for a long time. Or more often, I cannot get back to sleep at all. I tried all herbal drugs and Melatonin, but sometimes nothing helps at all. And therefore I pray pretty often in the night.

Thank you for sharing these chapters with me. Indeed, there is always a ‘new’ resurrection and glory that can be experienced after another death. Alas, there are countless ups and downs on this spiritual path. 😦 Yet it is mainly in the second part of the Dark Night (the Night of the Spirit), where Satan gets so close to you that you fear you might fall away from God. Also, God hides Himself and all these good things you once experienced with Him in order to bring forth mere faith in a seemingly empty and endless darkness. The more you try to rest in Him, the less it works since the sweet taste of His presence is gone, sometimes for a pretty long time. This is very hard to bear, but necessary in order to no longer trust in ourselves.

As for the power of our words, yes, I think God might ‘use’ someone who is used to stay in His presence more and in a more powerful way than someone who never does. Nonetheless, God can speak through anyone if necessary (I experienced this pretty often with other people who do not know Jesus).

I am not sure I have any revelation about God giving the sign of the Prophet Jonah again in the people who God has taken down into the depths of the dark night of the soul and the spirit or the loneliness of the barren wilderness. Frankly, I am still ruminating on Susanne’s reblog, “Within the Stillness of Our Being.” I was amazed at how the word translated “wilderness” and “to speak” have the same Hebrew root. Is it a mere coincidence that years ago I named my website, “A Wilderness Voice”?

The more I contemplate your question, Carina, in the light of the power of His voice in the one who has died to self in the dark night or wilderness, the more I see the connection. God prepares His messengers in the silence of the wilderness, not the garish trappings of religion or large crowds. He takes them aside to spend time with only Him in silence. But when the time is right, and only HE knows when that will be, He brings them forth to walk in HIS power and authority, dead to this world and alive IN Christ. This happened with Moses, David, Elijah, John the Baptist, Jesus, Saul of Tarsus, and, yes, even Jonah who had a crash-course in the belly of a great fish, despairing of life itself before he went off to prophesy to Nineveh.

So, dear sisters, I have had no inspiration to write on my own blog, but He IS teaching me how to wait in silence on HIM and enjoy the feeling of His presence in that silence. Susanne has been a great teacher by her example to me of taking many times each day to be alone with our Daddy and Jesus. I find that starting my day alone without any distractions (something I have not done in years) and waiting on Him in silence does set my day off on the right foot. I lost my zeal for these times while He had me dying in the wilderness for those devastating 14 years. Dedicating time for meaningful prayer is finally coming back to me after 36 years, half of my life!

I was just reminded of what you lately told me as you said that God was ‘A Man of Few Words’. In fact, that is what He has been teaching me, too, over time, that is, to only speak up when He is nudging me. Remaining silent and to really LISTEN from an open heart will make us hear more things than before. Even, we might read between the lines when others tell us something or write us. A continued heart connection to God is prerequisite here, I guess.

As for my other article, I did not reblog it, but only featured it on my homepage. Maybe, I should really make a reblog? Asking God about it right now… 🙂

Michael, just in case, here is the link to your deliberations on the connection between wilderness and words (His) on my other article you wrote about in your comment above. I replied to you there as well.

“Remaining silent and to really LISTEN from an open heart will make us hear more things than before. Even, we might read between the lines when others tell us something or write us. A continued heart connection to God is prerequisite here, I guess.”

Once again you have been given insight by the Spirit.⭐ As I read this I was reminded of what John wrote regarding Jesus in this matter,

But Jesus [for His part] did not trust Himself to them, because He knew all [men]; And He did not need anyone to bear witness concerning man [needed no evidence from anyone about men], for He Himself knew what was in human nature. [He could read men’s hearts.] [I Sam. 16:7.] (John 2:24-25, AMP)

I believe that as we come into that place of total rest in Him with our ear to His heart like John was at the last supper, we will not only hear His thoughts and will for us, but hear His thoughts regarding all who speak and write to us. Having the wisdom to properly use this information is where the real test is. Will we love them as He loves them and answer with words of light and life as He did? T. Austin Sparks wrote,

Paul is rich on the matter of discerning love. “…having the eyes of your heart enlightened, that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints” (Eph. 1:18). “The eyes of your heart enlightened” discerning love. Love is as far removed from blindness as heaven from earth. “Love is blind”? No – not true love. The fact is that true love sees everything, but transcends everything. The love of Christ for His disciples was not blind love that did not know His men, love that was duped, deceived, misled, but eventually found out that they were not the men He thought they were. No, “he… knew what was in man” (John 2:24). His love saw everything, could tell them beforehand exactly what they would do; but love persisted in face of it all. Love is a great seeing thing. If you are consumed with a burning love for the Lord, you will be very quick of scent as to what is doubtful and questionable. You will not need to be frequently and continuously told when a thing is not right. No, love for the Lord will bring you quickly to see and to sense there is something that needs to be adjusted. You may not know what it is at the time, but you have a sense that all is not well. Love will do it.

Amen, sweet Susanne!
You do have a writing gift. But you have to be where the Holy Spirit wants you to be. You will most definitely blossom wherever He decides to plant you!
Just keep listening intently, trusting and obeying His Voice.

Susanne, as I read your replies to Carina and me another intimate verse came to mind…

“May the Lord sanctify your spirit, soul and body fully.”

Sanctify means to be set apart fully unto Him and this includes our bodies not just in not doing things that are carnal with them, but in devoting them to Jesus as His bride in complete manifestations of agape love. THIS is spiritual knowledge.

“But the Lord is not first of all concerned about how much we do. He is far more concerned that, whether we do little or much, every bit of it should come out of a knowledge of Himself. Any amount can be done for the Lord in Christian work and activities, just as you do other work, but it may not proceed from your own deep knowledge of God. The Lord is concerned above all else that we should know Him.”
TAS

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