Step 5: Find off-the-books employment Find off-the-books employment where you are paid in cold, hard cash. So much less paperwork this way, for both you and your employer!

Step 6: Become self-employed Become self-employed, and then find so many business expenses and declare so little income that you don’t owe any taxes. You can pull this stunt two out of five years before the IRS declares your 'business' a 'hobby.'

Step 7: Claim a bazillion dependents Claim so many dependents that you make Mother Goose look like an amateur. Claim a charitable donation to an anti-birth control organization to make all those little exemptions look believable.

Step 8: Move abroad Move abroad to take advantage of the foreign earned income exclusion, which allows you to exclude income earned for personal services performed in a foreign country. Switzerland is a lovely, neutral country.

FACT: You don’t automatically get sent to jail for not paying your taxes unless your evasion involves massive fraud or is on a large scale.