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“Having a blast” (Angel trumpets)

For the past five years, humming, metallic sounds from overhead have been reported in Europe and North America. Unlike Yeti sightings, UFO encounters, and out-of-body experiences, these sky sounds have been clearly captured on video (http://tinyurl.com/mkeumt5).

Potential scientific explanations include atmospheric pressure or the grinding of tectonic plates. More down-to-Earth possibilities are construction and trains. If that’s too pedestrian, other options are aliens and the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, though the latter would require European nations have something equivalent.

But the idea most frequently raised in alarmist circles is that the sounds are angelic trumpet blasts foreshadowing catastrophes. These will continue until the last trumpet blast, which the apostle Paul wrote would be accompanied by deceased believers in Christ ascending to heaven. Or, in a more NC17 sense, corpses will rise from the ground, these floating zombies owing their existence to a human sacrifice.

At chemtrailsinourskies.com, the site maintainer deviates from his usual overhead concern to trumpet this one. He writes that the dozen or so events captured on video, along with extreme weather, is too much write off as coincidental. “These sounds alone can be dismissed, but together with the earthquakes in uncommon places, along with tornadoes, snowstorms in the desert, and volcanoes everywhere, there too many variables hitting the mark at the same time.”

Even this extreme Magical Thinking is too moderate for reader Garry, who posted Biblical references to trumpets, harps, and organs before segueing into this portent of doom: “Does this give you a clue on who’s making those weird loud trumpet sounds? Wake up people, those sounds are letting us know that the lord is on his way.”

In agreement are the gang at Before It’s News. They announced, “All around us are signs that the second coming of Jesus is near.” Also ubiquitous are confirmation bias, communal reinforcement, and subjective validation.

Before It’s News goes on, noting that the Bible stipulates all must persons must hear the message before Jesus returns, and that trumpet blasts count. Gabriel’s horn cacophony is serving as an “Apocalypse Watch,” preceding the warning that will come when the skies open. The sounds portend a worldwide earthquake, in which one-third of all trees are burned, although humans seem to have gotten a head start on that one. Next, one-third of the ocean turns to blood, causing one-third of all sealife to perish. The standard hail and firestorms follow, and into their wake swarm a satanic army of 200 million minions, massacring a remarkably consistent 33 percent of the world populace. Next, there is a second worldwide earthquake, a rather lazy apocalyptic calamity following visions of demon hordes and scorpion/human mutants.

Prophecyinnews.com notes there have been trumpet reports since at least the 19th Century. However, it cautions that “the current rash of incidents are something entirely different. They are deafening booms described as only a few feet away. They are described as complex metallic clanging and crashing, sounding exactly like the crushing destruction of glass and metal.”

More important, “The only precedent for these sounds is found in the Bible, where they accompany climactic events. And this is no ordinary trumpet. It is literally the voice of God, as can be seen from a description of the rapture: ‘For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel.’”

So the message is being delivered, when everyone receives it, the world ends. Those who prefer the world remain in place can take solace from the fact they’re forgetting to inform the deaf.