Friday, June 27, 2014

This report also included an animated GIF which unfortunately caused many of the email updates to go directly into spam files. So NFI is sending this email out to let you know that something big is afoot.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

With the failure of the spore sprouting test on Lab Sample NF-2014-001 things have turned a bit gloomy around the Nomadic Fungi Institute. Then this morning the NFI archivist approached me with his head hung low, and I thought to myself Damn, he's going to resign. Just what I need, staff quitting just because one damn lab test didn't work out....

Not surprisingly he began the conversation with "I think you are going to be mad at me, but I have something to tell you."

Struggling to keep the growl out of my voice, I responded "Go ahead, I'm sure we can work something out."

He stood there for a half second, then with a stutter he said "Well, when we were doing the lab work on the spore sample, I couldn't find any disinfectant to clean the tools with so I used kerosene from an old can I found out in the tool shed. And, well, afterwords I didn't want to pour the kerosene down the sink, so I put the bucket in the shed, next to the lawnmower. And, well, I don't know how it got in there, but when I went out to the tool shed today I found this in the bottom of the bucket, and, well..."

He held out a Matchbox Ford Gremlin covered in green and yellow carbuncles. My eyes did that cartoon bug out thing and I yelled "Eureka! We have sprouted spores!!!"

Monday, June 9, 2014

It began auspiciously as a culture of clear slime slowly developing over the entire surface of the vehicle. (See previous document: Spore Sprouting Terrarium Up Date) Unfortunately during the past 30 days no new developments have been noted. So we have come to the conclusion that the NF spores have failed to germinate.

The excitement generated by this test has been keeping the NFI staff spirits very high and very productive. Lots of of items on the to do list have been completed. The backlog of paperwork has been whittled down to mere sticks, and even the more menial tasks such as cleaning the bathroom has been attended to with a smile.

But now, with this official announcement that the test has failed, a dark cloud hangs over NFI. The old musty files seem twice as musty and twice as numerous. Complaints of allergies have replaced whistled tunes...

Thursday, June 5, 2014

On May 2nd, 2014 the Nomadic Fungi Institute began conducting tests on NF spores to determine if the spores can germinate under controlled conditions. Relying on data gathered during the examination of Sample BT OTT-NF2014, the NFI labs created what appears to be the preferred environment of NF spores inside an air tight specimen jar. This jar and all documents pertaining to this test are now labeled as Lab Sample NF Spore Spout 2014-001.

June 1st, 2014, the following notes were made on Lab Sample NF Spore Sprout 2014-001.

During the first 30 days a glossy sheen appeared on all the surfaces of the vehicle. Developments are encouraging.

During the next 30 days, the sheen developed into a thick clear slime. The under carriage and interior floor panels have buckled. The pleather seats appear soft and supple. Although there are no visible signs of mycelium growth, we remain optimistic.

All notes are based on visual observations only. The lid of the jar remains sealed and has not been opened.