Tag: fighting with each other

After many tears and emotional blackmail, Kat managed to move out into her own room (well, it’s actually our guest room converted into her room) a couple of months ago. There were a lot of “this is mine”, “that is mine” type of arguments and with Kit it was simple – everything Kat touched belonged to Kit that very instant! In the end, it was a peaceful separation with Kit Kat now having their own space (and surprisingly less arguments over lost belongings). Both of them, however, continue to make rounds in each other’s room to scavenge whatever they can!

Since the move, the one thing that Kit loves to do in the morning is that if she sees Kat’s door is closed, she will quietly sneak into her room and face the big question – should she nick some dolly clothes at this ripe moment when all is clear and confess to me in the other room with that innocent face? Or should she simply lie down with Kat and bug her?

Some days it’s the dolly clothes for which Kat’s anger surfaces as and when the discoveries are eventually made…Other days she will make her comfy position alongside unsuspecting Kat, put her thumb in her mouth and start feeling Kat’s ear! This will get an INSTANT reaction.

Kat will jump up on the bed with “Eeww! Disgusting! Mummy take her away from here. She hasn’t even brushed her teeth and she’s breathing on me! She even smells of pee” (She still uses this on Kit from her nappy days when she did smell in the morning – not fair!)

This will instigate Kit to snuggle up even further with Kat, in an attempt to aggravate the situation further while whining like a puppy at the same time. Then the kicking will start (Kit really is a striker!) followed by the final insult to injury in a sing-song voice – “You smell of poo poo”

At this point, I find it most useful to scoop Kit away and lock her up with me in the bathroom (despite her attempts at taking revenge with Kat) with stories of Megan & Gruffalo to somehow get the toothbrush process started while Kat locks herself in hers for endless moments of hair brushing! On the way to the bathroom with Kit, something on the wall between their rooms makes me smile… “God made us sisters, Hearts made us friends”

Every once in a while, Kit Kat have these ownership issues with their soft toys. They have bigger, even more critical issues with their dolls but that can come in a separate post – too overwhelming to combine all in one!

Kat, being the older one is manipulative. She has all the nicer soft toys neatly stacked on the top of her study desk (she thinks this will keep them away from Kit’s reach?). Kit on the other hand has no preference – anything that Kat likes, she likes by default. It’s as simple as that! The instant Kat expresses feelings for any cuddly toy (and she does have preferences now that she’s 10!), Kit will immediately drop whichever one she’s holding and bond with the one Kat wanted saying “I love it so so much…”

Predictably, this will lead to arguments, snatching, tears…and even more online shopping!

Kat will always say something like “This is the only soft toy I love…so and so gave it to me and I really value it and now SHE has taken it” (glaring at Kit who will blissfully ignore her and whisper sweet nothings to her newly acquired victory and dramatise the whole thing to possibly anger Kat more?).

Every cuddly toy has a sentimental value for Kat – I wonder how she’ll ever get rid of them…

Today Kit has won a big Panda from Kat. To keep it safe, it has been further gifted to me (it gets very complicated to work here from home in the holidays!) – I have been given 2 pets to look after right next to my desk – Panda and Toot (some name for their baby elephant). Every now and then, Kit comes in to make sure they are safe with me and that Kat has not taken them away…to make her victory even more profound, she has Kat’s scarf around the Panda’s neck!

All of you reading this and have one child, this is one time where you can surely be happy about it (apart from the obvious cost benefits!). At some point (or many points) in their juvenile years, these siblings (primarily the older one) will question your love over and over and over again to the point where you start questioning it yourself… grrrh!

For some reason, all these debates start in our house around homework or some other important task (do I see a diversion here?) so last evening Kat announced while doing her work that she thinks of Kit as competition (!) and without even knowing what the conversation was about Kit said “Me too!” (as anything Kat does, she has to Me as well)

Sensing a migraine coming on, I try to push the conversation forward –

Kat: “Since Kit has been born, all the attention has been going to her. Everyone says she is the cute one. No one bothers about me”.

I see big tears rolling down and the clock ticking away towards 8pm and I know we are here for long….

Me: “Why is that? Papa and I love you both so much. You yourself say you don’t want to be cute anymore, you want to be smart” (I feel I have to use everything in my power to reason out with Kat)

Kat: “Yes but I want to be loved the most. I was till she came along”. And she gives Kit a really bad stare who stares back equally bad. Thankfully Kit is too tired of both of us by now and decides to suck her thumb instead in a funny position across 2 chairs!

Me: “No Kat. You have to accept that. We may share our time with both of you but we will always love you both. You both are special to us”

Kat: “A baby is the loveliest little person on earth. So I was the most loved for 6 years before Kit was born and then when you held her in your arms, you must have loved her the most.” (Has she been watching too many movies?)

Now I am on Weight Watchers and by this time I can’t think too hard as I am really hungry. Somehow this question confuses me as I think she is trying to trap me and I tell Kat so and then also tell her that she is hurting my feelings.

The tears increase in intensity and so does my frustration at everything turning wrong. I begin to lose my temper and ask Kat what she wants.

Kat (realising finally the extent of all this): “Now I have understood everything but I am sad that I have hurt your feelings”

Strange, isn’t it? These little people have such complex relations…all was forgotten, we hugged and kissed and we were friends. In her terminology, we were BFF (Best Friends Forever) which changed to BFFL (Best Friends For Life) by sleep time!

Its breakfast time! Unless, its rush hour for school time, it’s generally pretty cool for Kit Kat. Kat plays piano, Kit does the lego while I prepare breakfast and my tea. If all goes wrong, Kit Kat fight bitterly over who will play piano first and I end up without tea till the babysitter comes about an hour later!

Today is a good day (too early!)– I give Kat her bagel and cream cheese on a plastic zoo animal plate and Kit hers on a princess one. I forget that Kat is not a 3 yo anymore but 10! She has never complained once about the characters on her plate to this day and I must admit I have been using the same plates from so many years now…

Today Kat casually remarks – “Mummy, next time, can you please buy me a plain plastic plate. I don’t really want any characters.” Finally it drives the point home and I feel terribly guilty.

Me: “Of course! In fact, you can eat in a proper adult breakable plate if you want” pointing to the ones Papa and I eat in (Something I should have done few years ago actually)

Kat (surprised): “Really! I have a choice?” The way she said this made us both laugh so much. She does have a great sense of humour and she knows when to use it. While we both were laughing, Kit wiped her plate clean and was ready for her round of fruit and more…

…Just when I thought Kat was worthy of the ‘adult’ plate, she turned to Kit and said:

“See, mummy loves me more than you. I’m getting the adult plate” She says this in a nasal teasing voice which drives both Kit and me mad!

Perfect example of good day turning bad - I have just recovered after separating Kit Kat – their fights can take unusual turns where age has little meaning!