Month: October 2017

It doesn’t matter whether you are just starting to wonder if you are really socially awkward and questioning yourself ‘am i socially awkward?’ or if you have successfully convinced yourself that you are socially awkward long ago,this post is going to be of some help as we are going to take a detailed look from the definition to effective ways to become less socially awkward.

First take this ‘Am i really Socially Awkward’ Test Quiz

1.Do you feel restless or anxious when waiting in public for someone or something?

2.Do you feel that People are staring at you and often check whether people stare at you after doing something in social situations?You have difficulty in making and maintaining eye contact with people?

3.In social gatherings do you feel embarrassed in meeting and mingling with the guests and cling to only few people you are close to?And when your close friend goes to mingle with new people you feel self anxious and conscious and stand there without knowing what to do.

4.When you happen to share your office lift with some one from your work you anxiously wait till the lift reaches the destination to get out of the situation?If some kind of interaction takes place do you rehearse what happened in your mind for the next ten minutes?

5.When you spot someone from your workplace in a public place do you slow down or hurry up your steps to avoid meeting them and if you happen to meet them accidentally you feel socially inept ?

6.In social gatherings where you have the compulsion to interact with others and when you approach people and start communication with others do you feel Ignored? Or do you end up saying things that you should not be saying and spend the rest of the evening mulling over the incident?

7. Are the things you say to others with good intentions get misunderstood and misinterpreted by others and you feel socially inept and awkward?

8.Do you feel lonely and feel you have no meaningful relationship with others except one or two close friends?

9.Do You take a long time to come up with things to say to someone after your initial ‘hi’ and ‘hello’.Do you Run out of things to say in the middle of a conversation and the awkward silences force you to blurt out secrets or things that you are not supposed to say to them…

If you have answered most of the questions with YES or Hell Yes! then you so feel that you have socially awkward issues.Good news is that you can work on it and stop feeling awkward sooner with the right techniques and tools.

People with social awkwardness may find it a rough ride navigating the social situations and scenarios life throws at them. It’s like they are a sailor in rough seas who lost his compass.So to find their way out of rough seas and cruise to a happy island all they need is to find a Tool like a compass,or a GPS.NLP has plenty of Tools and Techniques to help overcome social awkwardness some of them so effective that you can see results after a couple of trials.

Obsession Phrases-The language of Desires or LOD is a hot Product targeting the ‘women dating men’ Market written by the well known author Kelsey diamond but in reality a different set of Obsession Phrases do exist that can be used by men over women.Personally,i think ‘Obsession Phrases’ is a fancy name given to the old SpeedSeduction techniques authored by Ross Jeffries but no harm in drinking old wine in new bottle.The first impression anyone reading his sales page will get is that by saying some magical phrases women can get the power to influence men to fall in love and literally fall at their feet and live by their feet forever.If you ask me if obsession phrases work in real life then my short answer would be Yes,it is Real and Obsession phases do work in real life.However if someone imagines that by learning and saying a few magic words they can make a man or woman fall in love or get obsessed over them then i have bad news for them-It doesn’t work that way-Not that Easy.Obsession phrases can be made to work in real life but that requires a lot of practice and patience and trial and error before you finally see it work like a magic.The good news is that if you are ready to put in the effort and go through the Learning curve success is almost inevitable for you.

What are obsession Phrases and how and why do they work?

‘Obsession phrases-The language of Desire’ is a system that is just a small subset of Conversational Hypnosis.In simple terms…Have you ever been turned on suddenly while reading a romantic story on a book? Have you ever listened to some lyrics of a love song and felt strong emotions take you over? Like power words and phrases,There are some phrases that can trigger a state of sexual arousal in men who listen to them when said in a certain way.Some phrases are explicit while some are just plain and covert but yet they all work in achieving the objective of getting the man obsessed over the women that turns them on with it.When a women says the ‘Right’ word at the ‘right’ time a chemical process is initiated in the man’s mind which can make him find the women ten twenty times more attractive than she is.

Have you ever met couples where one of the partner is smoking hot and attractive and intelligent while the other one looked plain and dull in comparison that left you wondering how they managed to keep the other one in his or her hook? Well,the secret is that the seemingly dull partner is having a secret trump card – The art of communication, when it comes to creating relationships that can last a lifetime.Accepting the influential power of words provides you both extreme capability and also extreme responsibility .Knowing what to say;when to say; and how to say
correctly and will get you everything you wanted, but neglect the
vital signs and you’ll be left sitting out in the cold in no time.

Kelsey diamond the author of ‘Obsession Phrases-The language of Desires or LOD’ starts his book with a personal story of his lady friend who is very attractive and having a successful carrier.She was in a ‘happy’ relationship with her boyfriend when her suddenly left her for another women who is not even half good in her looks and money.Women need to understand that everything they say to a man can have massive effects in his mind even though it may not elicit any physical reaction in his face.

Chapter 1 – Understanding the Male Mental Theater.

In this chapter the author Kelsey diamond explains in detail the psychology of the Men and how special words get his mind to imagine and experience pain,pleasure and fear when a woman says it to him in the right way.Also when a woman knows to hit a man’s desire buttons with her words she is literally having him in her leash for the rest of her lifetime.He lists the Male Desire buttons and how women can bring his male mental theater to life ,with her words,that he will never consider leaving her for another woman for the fear of losing all the fun he is having with you.

Chapter 2 – The Big Secret of Obsession Phrases.

Personally this is the chapter where the real action starts to unfold and all the theory he was talking about up to this point suddenly seemed to make sense.Okay if you haven’t got a clear idea of what obsession phrases are all about you will get to have your ‘Wow!’ moments when you read the following example.

Let’s say a woman likes her man and she communicates it in words…what would she say.

‘I like you’ or ‘Like you so much’ or ‘i like you John’.

You think these words are enough to make him paint a vivid picture in his mind and get him excited and get his emotions stirred? May be if he is a teenager but if he is not you need to do much better than that.

How about…’I like the way you hold hands with me while watching horror movies in our couch.Somehow i feel more romantic and safe and happy.’

I bet you can do better than me,but you got the idea right?

Always Keep him Guessing:

The moment a man feels that a women is fully under his control and she would be there to serve his needs anytime he wants is the moment he will start losing interest in that women.The author Kelsey diamond seems to have understood this and that’s why he has advised women to have an outcome of ‘always keeping the man Guessing’ in her conversation with a man.So instead of saying ‘You are the best date i ever had’ and end up giving yourself in a platter to him you can say ‘I have had some good days before but i would remember the time spent with you today more than any other’. Now what the above statement does is to allow him go deeper inside his mind and ask questions which he himself tries to answer.He may question himself ‘What are the ‘Good days’ she is talking about?What else i can do to make it more unforgettable for her? and try to answer himself like ‘May be she is referring to the Good times she had with her female friends’.

Make him Anticipate:

Ever watched Soap Operas where there is always some suspense near the end of the show that made you watch the show the next day,in anticipation,to know what happened?

Use the same technique and when you are about to end the date you tell him ‘I have to go now since i am tired.But i noticed somethings about you that i want to tell you later’. When he goes to his home and sits in his couch he will be anticipating what are the things you are talking about.He will call you and fix another date,in anticipation,just to know what you think about him.

It might be a trivial issue for most people but there are quite a few people who are scared of using Public Toilets and they avoid using them at all cost.The magnitude of the problem may vary from person to person,some just have slight hesitations in using Toilets but use them anyway while others regularly get haunted by nightmares of unclean Toilets.Likewise the issue is across all ages from kids to teens to seniors.The Technical term for Toilet anxiety is paruresis(Fear to urinate) or parcopresis (Fear to have bowel movements in public) but i strongly advice anyone with Toilet anxiety to learn more about it.Some where i have read ‘Anything you give a name comes in to existence’.So unless your problem is so chronic that you have to take Treatment for it…you can overcome your Toilet anxiety by just making a few mental adjustments and using NLP techniques that i have shared here in this post.

We briefly mentioned the diversity of Toilet phobia but we have to analyze the different shades of the issue in detail since some can be overcome by just reading the advice and the higher magnitude cases require a few sessions of NLP mental rehearsals to make the Phobia disappear from the mind.

How a distressing negative situation helped someone to overcome fear of Public Toilets.

One of my friends is known for his fear of using public toilets in friends circle.He would sometimes enter the college bathroom and hang around there aimlessly.During the final years he suddenly became normal and showed no signs of Toilet phobia.I inquired him about his sudden change and he said after going through a recent distressing situation his perspective changed and now he has lot fear of using public toilets.

Overcome fear of public Toilet

He told me what he called as his ‘Desparado Toilet story’ in the minutest gory detail and it made a lot of sense to me.I have told his story,with my NLP stuff embedded, to some of my clients who had similar issues and they all said that they have improved a lot after hearing this Story.

I have tried to write the same story that i tell others below,but i have to warn you that the story may be too dirty or gory for some.You proceed at your own risk.Also the story may not be free flowing but that is because i have added NLP stuff that makes it difficult to read but will stick to your mind like shit.

The story as Told by my friend below…..

I went to a remote Town with my Girlfriend to take part in a festival there.As you know i have this fear of using any Toilet other than the one in my apartment and so i avoided using the one in the old Hotel i stayed.The Toilet was pretty clean and okay yet when i sat on it Images of unclean people who used the toilet before me popped up in my mind and soon it ran like a movie.My body tightened up and i could not empty my bowel that morning. Later in that day we went to a fair where the Town festival took place and the venue was around a hour walk from my hotel.Another important thing i failed to tell is that the attendees of the fair has to be in bare foot.In the fair we drank a local drink that was famous in that part of place.Since i like it i had one more glass and before i could finish it i felt something weird happening inside my stomach.I felt like within the next thirty seconds my stomach is going to explode whether i find a toilet or not.That instant i needed a toilet badly and i prayed i find one no matter how ugly it was.Pooping in my pants while having my girlfriend around seemed a lot worse a choice than to use a dirty public toilet.I asked my girlfriend to wait and went in search of Toilet.I nearly missed the cabin that didn’t have the slightest resemblance to Toilet but the staunch of the place helped me to locate it.When i entered it and there are all kind of shit all around the place,i am talking literally here. I walked inside and there were a few urinals but only one toilet sink and as i tried to open it i realized that it was already occupied.

I pleaded to the man inside that it was very urgent for me and he came out in a few minutes.I stormed inside locked the cabin inside and removed my pants and sat down.I noticed the Toilet was not flushed and tried to flush it but there was no water.I ignored that and did what i came for.As i was sitting there i noticed that i was sitting in the most dirtiest and smelliest Toilet sink in the world in bare feet planted on the most slushy shit i have ever planted my feet on.

You know what!At that exact moment i didn’t feel the slightest disgust or anxiety or anything that anyone who know me would expect me to feel!

I felt relived. I felt happy. Funnily i felt thankful and grateful for sitting in that bathroom at the moment i needed it the most.

After that incident every time i have to use a Public Restroom i don’t feel anxious….I just think about the cabin Toilet which i call ‘Desperado Toilet’ and I feel… RELIEVED.

Having a negative or distorted body image is the single most factor that triggers low self esteem and social anxiety in teens and young men and women.If you have low self esteem and you can identify with what i told above there is good news for you.You can improve your confidence multi fold just by setting goals and working towards improving the physical aspect that is worrying you.

Overcome Negative body Image

Let me give examples:
One of a Teenager i knew was shy and very reserved.He had Protruding front teeth that stood out and grabbed people’s attention.When he was sixteen he started to wear braces and everybody who knew him could witness the complete transformation that he made by the time he finished college.He started socializing with other people and seniors in his college and eventually he landed in a lucrative job in one of his friend’s fathers company.That was not the end of the story,he built a very good rapport with his friends father who was the owner of the business and he landed up in the top position in his organization, that was too hot for a once shy guy.

In a family get together i asked him about his astonishing growth in a short time frame.He opened up and told how he was self conscious about his protruding teeth and how he avoided talking with people since he felt everyone was staring at his front teeth.But once he put his braces he felt inside that his problem was solved and he felt more and more confident.He had silenced his inner negative talks and overcame his self consciousness to become successful in his carrier.If you are interested to know if putting braces improved his appearance i have to quote my bad ass relative put it like this “Before putting braces he was Uglier and Poor and after he was Ugly Rich.If i have a choice i would choose ugly rich any day!”

In shorts,instead of doing nothing about your negative body image if you just start to work on the particular area that you think needs to be improved …your self image will increase multi fold.

How to help your kid or Teen to overcome negative or distorted body image

If you have a small kid you can help them to grow up with a positive body image by just complementing on their appearance.In most cases the Children who grow up with confidence and with a positive self image about themselves have parents who encourage and complement their external appearance.Likewise children suffering from a low self esteem and negative body image must be having at least once relative or Friend who regularly makes fun of the body part that they are already self conscious about.

If you have a Teen with distorted body image you can just help them to take some step to improve the physical condition and then regularly give feedback that they are improving and they look great.Let’s say you have a son who is overweight you can make him join some sport and complement about his game and improvement in his physical strength rather that commenting that he is fat.