Monday, August 13, 2012

Missing the Point (and Medals)

Though I have never cared for all three sports - badminton, cycling and diving - I watched Datuk Lee Chong Wei, Azizul Awang and Pandalela do their absolute best to try and make us proud last week at the Olympics.

As I watched them, tears ran down my face. Yes, I was crying like a bitch. And I don't give a flying fuck.

While watching Pandelela Rinong go above and beyond to win the bronze medal in diving at the London Olympics last week, I realised how great the production of the Olympics was. How good their reporters were, how evolved their societies and civilisations are compared to some monkeys we have here. That bit later.

The commentators did not focus much on the champion, that Chinese lass - because her story was boring. She's the best in the world, and she was going to win. Instead, they focused on the fight for second and third place, on all these other athletes who were fighting for their lives, with around just 2 points separating second and 10th.

This, shows what the Olympics is about. It's about stories.

It's not about medals, not about who won or lost - that's for Microsoft Excel. The thing about the Olympics is not the medal tally. Do you remember how many medals China or the US got last Olympics? Do you even care?

I bet most Malaysians can't even remember how many medals we've won (six) or who won them. For posterity's sake, and for those who are too lazy to go to Wikipedia, they are:

But who cares? The Olympics is not really about all that. The world is not that shallow. It's about stories.

For example, I will never forget this guy:

That's Oscar Pistorius. He doesn't have legs - motherfucker doesn't have legs! - and he competes at the highest level. At the fucking highest level of human aspiration. ONE OF the fastest men in the world.

I mean, fuck Usain Bolt, he's got two legs! This guy has none, man! And he can run faster than any of you (unless you're Usain Bolt and you're reading this and in which case, IN YOUR FACE!)!

Again, the Olympics is not about aspirations for gold, or silver. It is about the human spirit. It's about doing and achieving your best, pushing barriers beyond what humans believed possible.

How many world records have been broken at the Olympics? A lot, right? Why? Because when you compete with the best in the world, you bring up your own game. If breaking records was just an individual thing, Usain Bolt might as well just run outside his house in Jamaica with an official holding the stopwatch.

So, it saddens me when people - Malaysians - like Susan Loone, Manoharan (who has since apologised for being a twit), 'Cut-Off-My-Dick-If-Pandelela-Wins-Guy' and Utusan's Ku Seman Ku Husin miss the point entirely.

Ku Seman wrote, saying there's no point Malaysia keeps sending athletes if we keep losing. Susan Loone said on Facebook we only produce athletes who are mediocre.

Hello? Winning silver at the Olympics is NOT mediocre. Lee Chong Wei is not the best in the world at the Olympics, Lin Dan is, cause that one won gold. He's number two. NUMBER TWO! Number two is not mediocre. Of over seven billion people, Lee is number two. Number two is fucking awesome.

You know what's mediocre, by this standard? People who can't even compete at the Olympics. People who can't even qualify for the nationals. People like Susan Loone. If Lee Chong Wei is number two, what number is Susan Loone? Number 7 billion and a half? What kind of medal would that get you? Dried shit on a string of semen?

Who is mediocre? People like me and you - regular joes who probably suck at badminton - I know I suck at it. We are most of us mediocre at badminton.

Manoharan has apologised, so fuck him. The guy who said he would cut off his dick still has his dick. I hope every time he pees or fucks, he would thank the LAWD! Thank the Almighty God that he still has his wiener and that Pandelela didn't dive from his roof and do a triple spinning backflip somersault or something and rip his dick off.

Ku Seman focused on politics in sports in his article. Admittedly, he has a point. Politics ruin everything. Everything that politics touches, gets ruined. There are ways for sports to be developed with minimal intrusion from politics, but that is for more learned people to talk about. I know porn, but I don't know jack shit about sports administration.

But to say that we might as well give up cause we didn't win gold and may never win it? Dude, I just watched on YouTube a man with no legs make it to the semi-finals the goddamn Olympics. Not the Paralympics, the real goddamn best in the world Olympics. Fuck you.

@amirhimself

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Amir Hafizi is the sexiest man on Earth. His chest is as thick as any redwood trunk; from which hangs two great boughs of heavily muscled arms and one minor but strong branch of solid wood somewhere down there.