Baseball Fans Excited For All-Star Game, Theoretically

MINNEAPOLIS—As the best players in baseball prepare to go head-to-head at Target Field, millions of fans across the nation expressed their excitement for Tuesday evening’s MLB All-Star Game, theoretically speaking. “The most talented and popular players from the American and National Leagues will be on the same field for a single star-studded matchup, so this is a game that everybody looks forward to every year, you would think,” 29-year-old Baltimore Orioles fan Brandon Capps told reporters, noting that the opportunity to watch the game’s very best pitchers, hitters, and fielders vie for home-field advantage in the World Series is one that—at least on paper—makes the Midsummer Classic the premier event of the season. “Just imagine: Clayton Kershaw takes the hill and sends a sizzling 98-mile-per-hour four-seamer to Mike Trout, who launches the ball to center field, where Andrew McCutchen snags it just before it goes over the wall and fires it back in time to catch Robinson Cano before he crosses home plate. In the purest of hypothetical terms, it’s a can’t-miss game.” Capps added that, following the conclusion of the All-Star break, there is nothing more thrilling than watching the second half of the regular season, where one could conceivably argue that every single game is incredibly crucial.