Paul Ryan Even Screws Up Own Family’s Drive-Thru Order

WISCONSIN – Fresh off bungling his party’s attempt at repealing Obamacare, House Speaker Paul Ryan had hoped to relax with his family this weekend and enjoy a drive in the country. But proving his embarrassing attempt at passing legislation wasn’t a one-off, Ryan couldn’t even get his family’s order right at a Taco Bell when they stopped for lunch.

Ryan approached the drive-thru menu and speaker with his usual optimistic and confident facial expression. Halfway through the family’s order, however, it was obvious something was wrong. First, his kids changed their minds about wanting a burrito and a taco each, to wanting an enchirito and chicken soft tacos.

The teenager working the register had problems correcting the order and a manager was called in. Then Mrs. Ryan wanted a combo meal, but with a substitution that started a squabble between Paul and his wife, with Paul asking his wife if she couldn’t – just for once – get the combo the way it came.

By now, 5 cars had pulled up behind the Speaker and he was starting to feel flustered. As he was trying to place his own order, one of his kids said they wanted a different drink than what he had already ordered. The order taker read the order back to him and it was all jacked up.

Finally, exasperated, Ryan aborted the order, pulled out of the line and took off, kids screaming in the back seat. Ryan assured his family that the attempted order was indeed a setback, but that he would regroup and, if they planned it better next time, he would take them to KFC and do a better job.

One of his kids remarked, “Dad’s a dork. He screws up the smallest things. I don’t know why the country thinks he can do big things. What a loser.”