I'm going to be very vulnerable right now: I have public bathroom issues. Like BIG ones. I am deeply ashamed of my body's own perfectly normal workings.

Now that that's out of the way, indulge me as I continue with my upcoming screed. Public bathrooms are the worst! Okay, yes, they are necessary and great. A world without public bathrooms would be pretty terrible. The thought of not being able to go when I need to is almost more terrifying than the thought of me going in public.

But, despite their necessity and utility (no pun intended), public bathrooms are still very, very gross. They are dens of germs and dirt. They usually smell bad. There are many problems! Have you ever been to a gas station restroom before? The kind with those keys attached to large blocks of wood? I'm still trying to wipe those moments of my youth out through therapy.

Aside from all of this, there are even more problems with public restrooms.